They made us. They broke us. Now they'll save us.
Need Us is the final book in the Make or Break series. Featuring POVs
from Royal, Channing and Rachel.
**Author's note: This book starts with a bang and not everyone is
happy. I know this might throw some readers off but bare with me.
People grow and they change. It wouldn't be a good book if they are all
happy living in La La land. In saying that, this book has a very happy
ending. I promise. I love these characters and they deserve nothing less
Need Us (Make or Break Epilogue)
Amanda Heath

Need Us
Copyright © 2014 by Amanda Heath
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in
any manner without written permission from the author, except in the
case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and for review
purposes.
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and events are
products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously and are not
to be construed as real. Any resemblances to actual events, locales,
organizations, or persons living or dead, are entirely coincidental.
The use of artist and song titles throughout this book are done so for
storytelling purposes and should in no way been seen as advertisement.
Trademark names are used in an editorial fashion, with no intention of
infringement of the respective owner's trademark.
Cover:
Cover design by Robin Harper

Wicked by Design Editing:
Nicole Bailey at proofbeforeyoupublish Formatting by Amanda Heath

For Ale, Dalton, Cody, & Lee
May our lives never be this crazy

Table of Contents
One
Two
Three
Four
Five
Epilogue
Acknowledgements

One
Royal
"We're getting married tomorrow," Wes whispers in my ear. I open my
eyes and look down at her upturned face. Her green eyes shine with all
the happiness in the world. I gave her that.
I' m the man.
I lift my hand up and cup her cheek. She grins and nuzzles against me.
"I can't wait," I murmur, using both my hands to pull her face towards
mine. Her soft lips meet mine and like always, the world blanks out and
it's just the two of us. Nothing can touch us here. Nothing can get in the
way of us being together.
She breaks away from my mouth and the corner of my mouth lifts up as
she licks her lips. "I can't wait to be Mrs. Royal Duke Sanders." I
chuckle and like always, she melts against me and her eyes glaze over.
You never think something like a chuckle could be that powerful but
for some reason Wes is always like this when I chuckle.
I move my hands down her naked sides and start to tickle her. She
giggles as I roll her over onto her back. I bring my head down to kiss
along her neck until my lips meet her chin "I can't wait to be Mr.
Wesley Ann Bridges." This sends her into a fit of giggles. I just watch
as she turns bright red. "What? I' m completely serious. "
She shoves at my shoulders until I sit up. "You're too silly for your own
good." She moves off the bed and pads her naked ass into the
bathroom. I sigh because there's nothing sexier than a naked Wesley.

I get off the bed myself as my phone starts ringing. "Channing
calling..." appears on the screen and a piece of my heart starts hurting.
It might make me sound like a cheesy pansy but I love Channing like
we came from the same womb. I'd do anything for him.
I only wish I could take away the pain I know he's going through.
"Hey," I state once I swipe my finger across the screen.
"She's in town," he says with perfect calm. That's the one thing about
Channing I can't stand. Showing how he feels isn't something he's
wired to do. Hell, the man isn't even wired to talk about his feelings. I
know he's hurting but you wouldn't be able to tell just by the way he's
been acting.
I smooth my hand down my face, knowing this was coming. "Yeah, she
got in last night. You knew she was coming. "
Channing sighs. "I know man. I just didn't expect for it to be this
hard."
I feel my brow furrow in confusion. "You haven't seen her in a year. I'd
be rolling around on the floor crying for my momma."
Wesley pops out of the bathroom and raises her eyebrows. "Tell him he
won't even have to speak to her. She told me she didn't plan on making
his life a living hell while she's here."
"If she wanted that then she shouldn't have come at all," Channing
mutters into my ear. I feel my lips form a half smile. Finally, just a little
sight into the broken heart of my best friend.
"She's one of Wes's best friends. And as much as Wes loves you, she
can't not invite her. And you told her you didn't care if she was in the
wedding." I hear him groan and I refrain from laughing. "You can't
back out now. Wes will go all Bridezilla on you. "
I hear static and then a banging. "I'm not going to do anything to mess
up your big day. I'm just saying this is going to be hard on me, not to
mention everyone else. Make sure Wes knows that. "
I sneer at that remark. I don't think anyone has been more right about it.
I' m mad at her, Rach hates her, and Pierce has probably come up with
several torture devices designed for her. Hell the four of us can' t even
say her name without untold hatred coursing through our bodies. Not to
mention Channing's sister Ashley. She's gone all SAMCRO on us

and has a sea of mean ass bikers behind her. The Redhead has some
nerve showing up in this town.
"I've talked to her. But you know my girl, has a heart bigger than the
world and can' t be mad about anything for too long. Even Annabella
got invited. It's a wonder my sister even agreed to be Maid of Honor."
"I think it's Matron of Honor," Channing replies while more banging
sounds in the background.
"Huh? I thought it was Maid of Honor?" I scratch at my head in
confusion.
"Rachel is married, she's not a maid anymore." The banging sounds
again but I ignore it.
"How the hell do you even know that?" I let out a laugh. I' m the one
getting married tomorrow, and I didn't even know that.
"Well I was once in your shoes." Oh and it clicks in my head. The
Redhead's best friend got married right out of high school. I don't say
this into the phone though. We've spent an entire year never bringing
up the wedding that didn' t happen. It causes too much rage in those not
involved and too much pain for Channing.
Bang.
Bang.
Bang.
"What the fuck is that noise?" I finally ask, directing the converstation
away from anything to do with the Redhead.
Channing growls and I hear the bang yet again. "Your sister and my
brother are fucking in the shower. And it's loud."
Right on cue I gag. I hate hearing about my sister's sex life. Sometimes
in my head I pretend my nephew Asher came from the angels and that
Rach is still a virgin.
If only that were true.
"Thanks bro. I really needed to hear that." I can only imagine what
Channing has to hear living in that house with the happily married
couple. It's coming up on their five-year anniversary. And once upon a
time I thought they'd never make it to one month.
Glad I was wrong.
"I guess they didn't know I came back home last night. They aren't

usually so bad about it. "
I open my mouth to say something but Wes walks out of the bathroom
with her hair all wet and water dripping down her exposed back. My
dick stands at attention just like that. It's never a slow build up with her.
She walks into a room and I want her.
"Get off the phone. I have something to show you," she says while
winking and dropping the towel to the ground. I love her ass. her flat
stomach. her breasts with their rose colored nipples. all that wild
blonde hair. hell you get the point.
"I gotta go, bro. See you this afternoon, kay?" I think I might be panting
as Wesley brings her hand between her breasts slowly, making a path to
my favorite part of her body.
"Yeah, bye."
I don't even know if he hung up and I can't honestly bring myself to
care. "What do you have to show me, girl?" I take a step towards her,
shucking my boxer briefs along the way.
My Duchess wiggles her finger at me and I find that I can't stop myself
from making the rest of the way to her. I put my hands on her hips right
as her hand makes it to her sex. I watch, fascinated as she smooths a
finger through her folds and brings her finger back out. She uses the
finger to smear across my lips. I groan as I feel my balls tighten. "I' m
all wet for you," she whispers.
Five years ago, the woman in front of me wouldn't have been this bold.
But once you get this used to someone, you can pretty much do
anything to please them. All our insecurities got left behind a long ass
time ago. Though I still try to make her blush every now and then.
I plant my hands on her ass and use them to lift her off the ground. My
lips meet hers and she gasps as I set her down on the dresser. There' s
nothing I like more than making Wes taste herself. I tilt her hips
towards mine and rub my hardness against her lower lips. I break my
lips away and kiss along her jaw. "You want me inside you?" I whisper,
using my hands to tease her erect nipples.
All she can do is nod.
I slowly start to push into her heat. Then I pull back using my hands to
shove her thighs wider. I drop to my knees and snake my

tongue out to tease her clit. I suck it into my mouth as her hands come
into my hair, pulling the strands right at my scalp. That little bit of pain
has me using my hand on myself. I tug while my mouth worships
Wesley.
I can feel her inner walls start to quake on my tongue so I pull back and
stand up. Wesley is flushed and panting, just the way I want her.
"You're a fucking bastard," she states, glaring at me.
I push my dick into her while she's looking in my eyes and she gasps. I
pump my hips as I lean down to kiss her swollen lips. She moans right
into my mouth and I go faster, bringing us to the edge. Her nails dig
into my shoulders as her walls spasm around my dick. I slam a hand
into the wall as I lose control of my hips.
Afterward we hold each other up, trying to regain ourselves. "Who's
the bastard now? Hmmm, girl?"
She laughs but the sound is breathless. "You could never be a bastard.
But you can't just deny me an orgasm like that and not expect me to call
you names. "
I nuzzle against her cheek and grin. "You can call me every name in the
book, I'll still get you off. You should know this by now."
She smacks my shoulder and pushes me away so she can climb down
from the dresser. "I do know that. But you can't explain that to my head
when you use that mouth and then take it away. "
I chuckle and head into the bathroom for my own shower. "Love
you, girl. "
"Love you too, baby."
I'm out of the shower and combing through my hair when "Fancy" by
Iggy Azalea starts echoing through the bedroom. Wesley has this thing
about giving everyone a song that describes them for their ring tone. I
certainly wouldn't do that, but I love how much both of us love music.
I' ll give you one guess as to who is calling Wes.
"WHAT?!?!?!" Wesley screeches and I drop the comb hearing it clatter
into the porcelain sink. I run into the bedroom and see Wes with her
pants around her hips, her lacey pair of panties around her hips. A
matching bra rests on her chest. Damn she looks so good in pink.

Down boy.
"You can not be serious right now! I'm getting married tomorrow! Get
your shit together! " She slams the phone down on the dresser and pulls
her pants on the rest of the way. Her cheeks are flushed but this time it
isn't because of me; no it's because of anger. Then my phone starts
ringing.
I stride over to my nightstand but Wesley stops me. "If you answer that
phone I will hit you." She says it quietly but I know she means it.
"What the fuck is going on, Duchess?" I pick my boxer briefs off the
pile of clothes Wesley laid out on the bed for me. She's the perfect
woman for me. I don't even have to ask, not that I would, she just does
it.
She throws her black shirt on over her head. "Bride" is written across
her generous boobs and I love it so much I bite my lip to stop from
smiling. "Rachel and Pierce decided they are separating! " She screams
this while pulling at her hair. "First Paisley, and now this. Everyone
wants to ruin my wedding! "
I flinch at the use of the Redhead's name. I kind of fucking hate that
bitch but that's not important right now. "What do you mean they are
separating?"
"Rach called and said they got into a huge fight and she refuses to be
with him anymore. She was hysterical but I think she's serious."
Wesley stops pacing to look up at me. "Why must they do this to me?
They couldn't have waited two days?" I don't answer her.
If push comes to shove, we'll go to Vegas. We are getting married
tomorrow if I have to tie everyone up and lock them in closets.
Welcome to the dramatic, overbearing, crazy as shit family!

Channing
My eyes open and I wish I were dead. This happens every day I wake
up with the bitch. Most days I can turn it off, all the emotions inside of
me that want out. I hold them in and I don't feel anything.
It happens every day, no matter how hard I try to make it not so. I wish
she didn't exist, I wish I didn't exist. I want to crawl inside of myself
and implode. My other half was ripped away from me. I feel like I was
holding on to her so hard but it wasn't enough. She just gently took her
arm out of my hold and walked away.
She didn't even look back.
Fucking bitch.
I thought I would get over it. Forget what it was like to be with her.
How happy she made me, and in my life it's always hard to be happy. I
have more to be happy about now than I used to, but it's still not
enough.
I need her, I love her, and I want her. Where is she? I have no idea. She
broke me into a million pieces, packed her shit and left. She left me in a
house that she picked out, her memory following me around like a
fucking ghost. So I sold it and burned everything she left behind. It
didn' t help.
You'd think after a year it wouldn't be like this. That I wouldn't feel this
much heartache and absolute misery, but I do. I can't seem to leave it
behind.
I've tried dating other women, I've tried writing about it, and hell I' ve
even tried being an alcoholic. None of it worked.
I pick up my phone from the bedside table. I click on the photo app and
I have to shut my eyes at the first photo. Her red hair shining in the sun,
those blue-green eyes showing me her love. It wasn't real though. It
was all some twisted dream that didn't mean anything to her.
She was my entire world. But what else is new? I just wish I could

move on. I wish I could find a place in this world without the bitch
beside me.
But I can' t.
I exit out of the photos. I look at them every morning and night. As
much as I hate her, I still love her too. I don't want to forget what she
looks like. I don't know why I try though, considering I still remember
what she tastes like and how she feels.
I pull up my Facebook app and scroll through the newsfeed. Ashley
posted a picture of her and Damien, her husband, on his bike. Her smile
lights up my heart for a moment in time. I know I spent most of my life
causing her pain and I wish I could take it back. But I can't, I can only
make up for it. I like the photo.
I see a post from Royal and Rachel's mom talking about how her last
baby is getting married tomorrow. I've never felt more happiness and
dread at one time. I'm happy for Royal and Wesley. I know they
postponed their wedding because of me, not that I blame them. I was a
wreck around the first date. And Royal refused to get married without
me standing next to him.
That bitch ruined everything.
I come across a post with Paisley tagged in it. She deleted me before I
had the chance to delete her. She didn' t block me though so sometimes
I get to see her posts when I feel like being a stalker. Maybe that' s my
problem, I' ve always felt like a stalker when it came to her. I always
wonder if she wasn't into me as much as I was into her.
The post is by Wesley and I'm tagged in it too. She just states how
excited and blessed she is. When in reality we are the blessed ones.
That girl has been through enough to bring anyone to their knees and
she still stands tall. Her head held high and I wish I could stand like that
too but I can't.
I get a message icon and switch over to my messenger app. It's from
Lola Montez. Lola is Ashley's best friend. I don't know a whole lot
about her, other than she's been with Damien's brother for years. They
are all a part of the same MC as Damien.
The message is a picture and I grit my teeth. I knew she was coming but
I didn't know how to prepare myself for seeing her. I haven't

seen a recent picture of her in months. The picture features her and her
little sister BeeBee. When I first met the bitch her sister was two, now
she's seven and a little version of her older sister. They are holding
hands while the bitch is on her phone. They are coming out of their
grandfather' s house.
She's already in Meadows. Fuck.
I send Lola a quick thank you before calling Royal. I don't know why I
do; sometimes hearing his voice makes me feel better. I know no matter
what he'll be there. I have a lot more people who will be there than I did
when I first got with the bitch.
Pierce, Rachel, Wesley, Ashley, Donovan and Lily. About five seconds
into my conversation with Royal, I hear loud noises coming from
Pierce and Rachel's room. When I sold the bitch and my house, I
moved in with Pierce and Rachel. I could have gone back to Margret
and Richard's house but they still talk to the bitch. I don't want to make
them choose sides, so I keep a safe distance.
It' s not like I' m here all that much. Book tours and signings keep me
pretty occupied. I even bought a cabin out in the middle of nowhere so
I could write in peace. I'm just here now for Royal and Wesley's
wedding.
I keep banging on the wall, letting the happily married couple know
that I can hear them, but the noises keep going. If they keep that up they
are going to scare Asher. My poor nephew, the boy is going to be
scarred for life.
After I hang up with Royal I realize the noises aren't sex noises, they
are fighting noises. I rush out of my room in nothing but my boxers and
slam open their door.
Rachel stands in the bathroom door in her silky blue robe, her brown
hair down and around her shoulders. Her brown eyes are full of tears
that keep spilling over her lids and down her cheeks. I turn my head
towards Pierce who's only wearing jeans. He's got scratches all over his
chest and a wild look in his eyes.
Everything else in my mind goes away and I'm left with a calmness I
haven't felt in a long time. Even the happiest of couples fight.

Sometimes it takes a dose of reality to wake someone up. "What's
going on?" I ask because neither of them has noticed I entered the
room.
Pierce looks over at me, his green eyes bright and full of rage. His long,
dirty blonde hair is tucked behind his ears though it sticks up in the
back like his fingers knotted it. His chest moves up and down at in
impressive rate while he answers me. "Why don't you ask Rachel." It's
not a question.
I look over at Rachel but she won't meet my eyes. "What's up, Rach?" I
ask, my fists clenching against my legs.
She doesn't answer me; she just walks into the bathroom and slams the
door. Pierce growls, but that's nothing new. Most of the time he growls
instead of talking. He stalks over to the bathroom and starts hammering
on the door. "You come out here and you tell him what you did! You
don't leave this on me, babe. Then you get your shit and get out! " he
bellows.
My heart sinks right into my stomach. Pierce wouldn't get mad at Rach
for just anything. This is very serious.
"I'm not coming out till you leave! I don't have to do shit!" she screams,
and then something crashes in the bathroom.
Pierce steps back from the door and starts kicking it with his bare feet.
It pops open and Rachel screams again and a shampoo bottle hits Pierce
on the chest. He grabs her arm and pulls her out. I feel like I'm at the
movies and I' m watching this all play out in front of me. I can' t move
or help with anything. I' m just a prop in this play.
"Tell him! " Pierce screams this time and forces Rachel in front of him.
"You tell him now because you don't want to know what I'll tell him. It
won't be pretty." He growls when she tries to wrench her arm out of his
hand.
I can't even imagine what in the world she could have done. Memories
fly behind my eyes and I see their life together before my eyes. Wesley
stating Rachel was pregnant. Rachel saying it wasn't her boyfriend's,
but Pierce's. Royal punching Pierce and spitting in his face. The
awkwardness of the bitch and I taking Rachel and Pierce to see his
uncle, the doctor. Pierce opening the door for Rachel, holding her hand,
kissing her on the neck. His face at graduation after Rachel broke his

heart. The love in their eyes when they got back together. The relief on
his face when Rachel agreed to marry him. The laughter filling this
house when they first bought it. Pierce running right to Rachel when
Annabella locked him in a room to try and talk him out of marrying
Rachel. And the love surrounding them when they brought Asher home
from the hospital.
"Rachel? What did you do?" I whisper still not comprehending what' s
going on around me. If they fall apart, I have no hope. Rachel, Royal
and I have been friends since we were five years old. Pierce is my half
brother. We all make up a close-knit group and we can't fall apart the
day before Royal and Wesley's wedding.
Tears leak down her face and she drops her weight down making her
fall to the floor. Pierce lets go of her arm and stands over her. Tension
lines every part of his body. "You tell him Rachel. You put it out there.
You can't hide from this. You fucked up and I can't do anything to save
you. I love you so much it fucking hurts but I can't save you anymore!
Just fucking tell him! " His tension breaks and he starts sobbing.
I see in them what I see in myself every day.
Brokenness, loss, heartache, hatred and hopelessness.
I put my hand on his shoulder and squeeze. I try not to remember the
day my relationship with the bitch ended, but I know Pierce was there
and his hand offered me comfort. Just like I'm doing now.
Rachel looks up at me, all those tears streaming down her face and
blows my mind. "I hooked up with Donovan. "

Rachel
Have you ever done something so horrible you just wanted to lie over
and die?
That's how I've felt for weeks now.
It' s so hard to look at my husband. So hard to let him touch me. I just
want to lie on the ground and cry my heart out. And it's not even his
fault. Court didn't do one thing wrong to me. In fact, Court is the best
fucking thing that ever happened to me. He's my fairy tale, my happy
ending.
But I fucked it all up.
Not only have I hurt him, I've hurt my baby boy. I messed up my entire
life for no fucking reason at all.
And for what? Not a goddamn thing.
Everything you do there is a consequence. What I've done? It's going to
be the end of the world as I know it. As my family knows it. As my best
friends know it.
I keep thinking back to five years ago when everything was different.
To when Channing and Court hated each other. When Wesley and
Royal hadn' t had one thought about the other. When Paisley was still
an invisible heiress. I wish I could go back to those days because I
know I' m about to ruin all of our lives. Sides will be chosen and people
will start to hate each other.
The only person who won' t get the full effect is my baby. My Asher,
the sole reason I' ve kept all this guilt inside. I used to think and say that
I wouldn' t do anything to ever hurt him and yet I did. I find myself day
in and day out crying my eyes out because I can' t bring myself to tell
the truth. It' s slowing killing me inside. Turning me into this person,
this person that I have no idea what she is.
I'm blunt and I don't keep things inside. Not for long anyway. My

whole life I've prided myself on being truthful and open about things.
And yeah I love secrets and I have a lot of them. But these secrets, they
aren't mine. The only secret I have is this horrible thing. It's like an
open festering wound and I just want it gone.
So I'm sorry Asher, my baby. I'm sorry Momma has to hurt you. I'm
sorry that I've hurt your Dad and your uncles and aunts. But I can't keep
this in anymore.
I blink open my eyes and turn my head to look at Court. His hand is in
my panties. Even if we don't fall asleep cuddled up, he always ends up
right on me, his hands cupping my ass. I love him so much it hurts. I
didn't want to ruin this and no matter what you think of me, I didn't set
out to ruin this.
I sit up in our bed, gently taking his hand out of my underwear. I climb
off and stand over it, looking down at my husband. His dirty blonde
hair is long now, down to his chin. His green eyes are closed and his
face is peaceful. I have a fleeting thought to keep this in forever just so
he never looks different. I want him to be happy and healthy for the rest
of his life.
But I can' t keep this from him anymore.
I turn and head into the bathroom. I find myself in the mirror, but is that
woman really me? Her hair looks the same, dark brown and flowing
around her shoulders. Though her brown eyes look sad and full of
despair. The dark bags under her eyes, they mean she doesn't get much
sleep.
So yeah that woman is me. What have I become? "G?" Court calls out
from the bedroom. My toothbrush clatters to the sink and my hands
grip the sink. My knees start to feel weak and my stomach is full of
hundreds of bats. I think I might be sick.
When I don't answer I hear the bed squeak a little as he gets up. I hear a
drawer open and some clothes rustling. Then his beautiful face appears
in the doorway. He gives me a tight smile, like he does every morning.
He knows there is something wrong with me. He knows I've built this
rift between us.
I make myself stop looking at him. If I'm looking at him then I won't
say anything. I'll live with this shit inside of me another day.

Maybe I should live with this another day. My brother is getting
married tomorrow. My best friend Wesley deserves to have a peaceful
day. I shouldn't ruin that for them.
Does it make me selfish that I have to get this out? I know it doesn't
make me selfless. I'm a horrible, dirty, rotten bitch. God, how did this
happen to me?
"Rach! " Court snaps and my eyes meet his. He must have been saying
something. Lord knows I space out like this often. I can't believe he
hasn't tried to drag it out of me yet. But that's my Court. He can tell I
want to work this out on my own. He'd walk through fire if I asked him
to. I have never deserved him.
"I hooked up with Donovan," I blurt and all at once the weight of the
world lifts from my shoulders. I said it. It's out there and I can't take it
back. The tension leaves my body and I lean against the sink.
Court has the opposite affect. His shoulders tense up and all the blood
drains from his face. And slowly but surely the light that fills his eyes
washes away. Leaving nothing but emptiness.
"What did you fucking say?" he whispers, looking at me like I've
grown another head.
"You heard what I said." I don't mean for it to be snappy but it is. I don'
t ever want to repeat the words that came out of my mouth. Once was
enough for a lifetime.
"You... you fucked my brother?" he mutters. Where most people would
stumble or falter, he stands tall. Court always takes on his problems
head on. He's been through too much to just hide away.
I gulp down trying to wet my dry throat. "I didn' t fuck him. We made
out," I tell him and I don' t know who this person is. Why do I sound so
calm? Shouldn't I be on my knees begging for forgiveness?
And I know the answer is no. If our roles were switched, I wouldn't
ever forgive him. So what's the point of asking for it? He'll hate me for
the rest of his life. Everyone will hate me for the rest of their lives. I' ve
become Paisley Vaughn.
I shudder because now I kind of feel bad for the bitch. I know she used
to be my friend but Channing was my friend first. And he definitely
didn' t deserve what she did to him. Their problem could have been

solved peacefully and behind closed doors. But that's not how Paisley
handled it.
Court looks at me confused. "So you ruined our marriage, our family,
for a kiss? You couldn't even bring yourself to fuck him?"
My palms start to get sweaty and my grip on the sink loosens. It's all I
can do to hold myself up. "There was more involved than a kiss, Court.
His hands were in my pants." I want to smack myself the moment those
words leave my lips. It's like my heart wants to fight with him but my
brain just wants us to shut up.
Fuck when did I get so screwed up?
Court crosses the space between us and wraps his hands around my
shoulders. His green eyes look down at me, tearing me up on the inside
and spitting me back out. "You start from the beginning. Don't leave a
fucking detail out. "
I raise my hands to place on his chest. An automatic response to him
touching me. Then I push him away. But he's too strong for that. He
doesn't even budge. So I just drop my hands. I can't be touching him
while I tell this horrible sordid tale.
I wish I could just hang myself.
"You were always gone with football practice, games and helping out
the players. And I know that's your job, I know it's what you do. But in
my head I was alone and so incredibly lonely." I pause as the tears start
leaking down my face. This hurts so much. "Donovan had been texting
me. Then he started calling me. I honestly don't remember if I led him
on. That doesn't make sense in my head that I would do that. He's your
brother and I was trying to be his friend."
Court places a finger under my chin and makes me look up at him.
"You look me in the fucking eyes while you tell me this. You don't get
to shy away from me now. You fucking did this, so live with it." His
voice is so cold. It's like he turned his love for me off and I'm left with
growly crazy-eyed Pierce. The guy I hated in high school.
I swallow, my voice thick. "It was the night you had to go to the Ole
Miss game. Your mom had Asher and Donovan invited me over for
drinks. I didn't think anything of it. It's not like I'd been meeting him a
lot or anything. At that point we hadn't even hung out in person since he

begin talking to me." I pause. I want to space out so bad right now but I
can't. I have to tell him everything. It's only fair. "We got drunk at this
bar in Dallas. He gave me a ride home but he didn't leave. He came
inside and we sat on the couch. We couldn't have been here for two
minutes before he leaned in and kissed me. "
Court lets my arms go as the words leave my mouth. Without his
support I sink to the floor. I put my head in my knees and I concentrate
on breathing. I just have to breathe and this will be all over. "Keep
going."
I lift my head a little. I refuse to look at him now. I just can't see the
disappointment on his face. I can't see the hatred, not right now. "I
remember thinking it was strange because for a second I thought I was
kissing you. I was shit-faced drunk but I knew he wasn't kissing me like
you do. "
"And how do I kiss you? " he asks, lowering himself on his hunches.
"Like you might die if you can't have me," I whisper and then I sob.
How could I do this to him? How could I betray the only person who
will ever love me like this? "He was calculated and he was cold. Now
that I think about it, it was almost like he didn't want to be kissing me."
"Then why did you do it! " he bellows right in my face. I shrink back,
slamming my head into the sink cabinet. "Fuck. Are you okay?" he
asks, moving his hand behind my head. He massages the tiny bump.
"Yeah." Even when I destroy his life, he's still taking care of me. "He
put his hands in my pants and I remember not liking it. He couldn' t
even get me wet and I think it pissed him off. I remember the angry way
he was trying to get my pants down. Then Channing pulled into the
driveway. Donovan fixed my clothes and laid me down on the couch. "
I clutch my robe closer to my body feeling sleazy about the whole
thing. "If you believe anything at all, believe I didn't want that to
happen. To this day I don't know what came over me. He told Channing
I'd had too much to drink and left. Channing took me up to bed and
when I woke up the next day I thought it was all a dream. But I saw the
messages on my phone and I knew. I knew what I'd done."

I finally find the courage to meet his eyes. The one thing I know is I
have to face this. I have to pay for what I did. I just wish it wasn't so
hard.
"I hope you know what this means. I hope I don't have to explain it to
you," he states calm as day. It's almost as if I'm looking and speaking to
Channing. He had the same reaction to Paisley. Calm as day but you
could still see the torture in his eyes.
I just nod. "I know what this means. I knew it after it happened."
This is about the time Court differs himself from Channing. He can't
hold onto that indifferent mask. No, my Court he has a world of pain in
that soul of his. He has to let it out or it will eat him alive.
"Then why the fuck did you tell me?" He stands up and punches a hole
in the bathroom wall. I cover my head as a cloud of dust falls to the
ground. "Why the fuck did you do this? What the fuck is wrong with
you?" He screams and he screams.
There's a banging on the wall between Channing and our rooms but we
both ignore it. There is no one else in the world right now but the two of
us. "I don't know," I whisper feeling so low, the lowest I've ever been.
"Tell me damn it! There is a reason you did this! You didn't just get
drunk and decide to make out with my fucking brother! You' re my
goddamn wife! I thought you fucking loved me! " My ears are ringing
but it' s no more than I deserve. I deserve for him to hit me, to destroy
me. It' s what I' ve done to him.
"I do love you. I love you more than anything. You and Asher are my
everything," I tell him, trying to get to my feet. Maybe if I face him
head on he' ll believe me.
He gets in my face and starts pointing his finger at me. "You don' t
fucking love us. If you did this would never have happened. " He closes
his eyes and swallows hard. Then he grabs his stomach like he' s going
to be sick. I don't blame him one bit. I've wanted to throw up for weeks.
I even have a few times. "You didn' t think about how this would affect
me. Asher. My fucking family. Do you know what this is going to do to
my mother, my fucking sister? No, you don' t because you' re a selfish
fucking bitch! "

"It's all I've thought about for weeks," I tell him as Channing bangs
some more on the wall.
"You know, I've been waiting and waiting for weeks for you to leave
me. I knew it was coming. I could see it in your eyes. There was
something there keeping you from me. I just never thought it would be
this. I never thought in my wildest nightmares that you would betray
me like this. " His breathing picks up and he moves away from me to
punch another hole in the wall. I see blood start to pool around his
knuckles. "I never thought he would do this to me. I thought we were
over it. " It being Court sleeping with Donovan's then girlfriend
Annabella.
"It had nothing to do with you. We didn't even talk about you," I tell
him, my body slowly coming back to life as I regain some of my
composure. Eventually we'll have had enough of this fighting and I'll
have to leave. I' ll have to move back in with my parents and face their
wrath every day. At this point I' ll be lucky to have joint custody of my
son.
That' s when I start to get angry. I shouldn' t have to be afraid like this.
I don't even know why I am. At the end of the day Court is a wonderful,
good, kind man. He'd never take my son away from me like that.
That kind of thought is what got me into this mess to begin with. "It
was me and it was Donovan. We made a mistake and now we have to
live with the consequences. No matter what those are. "
Court comes at me now, grabbing my arms again. "You're a little cunt
and I wish with everything I am that I had seen it before now. I can't
believe how well you hid it."
There are a few words you should never call me. They are degrading
and I would never open my mouth to call anyone those words. Court
knows this. And the C word is one of those words.
I grit my teeth and raise my arms to push him away from me. I don't
care what I've done; I'm the mother of his child and he. Will. Not. Call.
Me. That. Word. "You let me go right now Courtney Pierce. And don't
you ever call me that name again." I move my face right into his and
spit out, "I fucking mean it. "
All the adrenaline of the morning and the feelings mixed with it

must have him out of his mind. The man leans into me and starts
kissing me. But that's Court for you, trying to fuck his problems away. I
might have gone with it if the man hadn't just called me that horrible
name. So instead of giving in I start scratching at his chest.
"Fuck Rach! What the hell was that for! " he bellows, dropping my
arms and moving away from me.
"Yeah I know I fucked up. And I know I've ruined us forever but you
don't get to kiss me right now. I feel horrible enough as it is; don't add a
goodbye fuck with it. We're not doing that. I couldn't bear to leave after
that," I tell him, albeit loudly. Channing bangs yet again on the wall and
it's all I can do not to flip the wall the fuck off.
"Yeah you got that right. You're leaving and it's going to be a while
before I can look at you again. Fucking bitch! " He kicks the fucking
door shut. "And you're leaving my son here!" He walks out of the
bathroom and I just stand there staring at him.
I guess he went there. Fuck.
"What's going on?" Channing says and I startle. The man is in only his
briefs standing there looking like death. Ever since Paisley left,
Channing has looked like death. The poor baby.
"Why don't you ask Rachel," Court says and it's anything but a
question. Channing looks at me but I don't say anything. No matter
what I do or what I say, I'll always be the bad guy here. Let Channing
think what he wants.
I slam the bathroom door and slam my blow dryer into the mirror.
***
I knock on the front door of my parent's house. I don't know why. I used
to live here, for eighteen years in fact. My whole childhood was spent
in this house. I guess I'm too ashamed to just walk in. Or maybe I don' t
have the willpower to just walk in.
It takes her awhile but my mom finally answers. She's wearing a pair of
silky pajamas and her hair up in a bun. She must be working from home
today. "Rachel honey, what's the matter? You look awful." She

wraps her arms around me and pulls me into the house.
When I was younger my mom got really sick. She never talked about it
and neither did my father. But I knew she was sick and it scared me. I
thought she was going to die but she didn't. And it wasn't until five
years ago when Wesley Bridges walked into our lives that Mom finally
talked to us about it. How she didn't get to raise us when we were little
and it left this big rift between us. Now I'm closer to her than I've ever
been. We've bonded over being mothers and wives. We have more in
common than I ever thought. Royal and I got our love of music from
her.
We barely make it in the house before I tell her everything. After I' m
done she takes me into the living room and has me lie on the couch.
"I...I don't know what to say here. There are a few things in this story
that don' t add up and that scares me," she states. She' s sitting Indian
style on the couch while I'm curled up into a ball with my head on her
lap. I feel so young and so small.
And maybe I am.
"I don't know what you mean. It should scare you that your perfectly
happy daughter screwed her entire life up," I tell her, wiping even more
tears off my face. I'm not ashamed to cry like the rest of the people I
know. Crying means you feel something. It means you aren' t dead.
"That's my point. Happy people, who are happy being happy don't go
out screwing up their lives. You have the people who just can't be
happy and they start to feel that, they run and do something to ruin it.
You've been extremely happy for five years and yet this is the first time
you've done something to ruin it? It doesn't add up. Besides, I know
you. You'd never be happy with anyone but Courtney. That boy is truly
your other half." She pauses and I look up at her face. She seems
puzzled but I can't put my finger on it. She's a therapist so I knew this
pyscho babble was going to happen. "No, baby girl, I think Donovan
Pierce manipulated you into this. "
Shock goes through me and I sit up. "How can you say that? I was right
there with him, I participated. "
She shakes her head. "Did you even find yourself attracted to him? No
you didn' t. I think you were drunk and he used that against you.

Donovan is a very sneaky fellow. I've kept my eye on him here and
there. I think he never let go of what Courtney did with Annabella. I
think this is his payback. And he used you to get it." She nods to herself
like I' m not even there.
What' s important here for me is that I participated with him. I didn't
push him away and I didn't try to fight him off. I must have led him on
and I must have had some sort of feelings for him, that's the only way to
explain this.
Donovan wouldn't do all that to hurt his brother. He wouldn't have
thought that long and hard about it. Van is a decent man himself. Why
would he wait five years to get back at Court? That doesn't make any
sense.
"I thank you for that Mom, but I think the blame is all on me. I did this
to my family and now I have to live with myself." I climb off the couch
and look down at her. "Do you think you could ever forgive me? I
know Court never will. I just hope this doesn't scar Asher too much."
Mom stands up and cups my cheeks. "I know you don't want to believe
this but I don't think this is all your fault. Yeah, you shouldn't have been
talking to Donovan behind Courtney's back and you shouldn't have
gone to that bar with him. But the afterward, it doesn't sound like you
had much say in it. "
I shake my head. "I did though. I could have run the other way
screaming and I didn't. I ruined our families.

Two
Royal
I look down on Rachel and I feel nothing but pain. My heart breaks
over and over again. The tears flow down her face and she can't seem to
stop screaming. I kneel on the floor with her in my arms but it doesn' t
seem to make it any better. Pierce is the only thing that will make it
better.
Asher would too but she doesn't want him to see her like this. I don' t
blame her. I hurt all over again thinking about it. And I wonder when I
was no longer enough to soothe her. Used to be she'd run right for me
when she was in pain. I'm twelve minutes older and I take my big
brother duties very seriously.
Over the years I've gotten used to women crying in my arms. Rachel's
been doing it her whole life and sometimes Wesley will wake up from a
nightmare about her Trey. Those times I can handle. I know Wesley
loves me and I know she loved Trey. He passed way to early and that
scars anyone involved. I've been asked if it makes me jealous and the
truth is I could never be jealous of him. Wesley loves deeply and she
wouldn't be Wesley if she didn't mourn the loss of Trey. I wouldn't take
her any other way. Her ghosts make her who she is now.
My strong beautiful Duchess.
"Are you going to tell me what happened?" I whisper into Rachel's hair.
It's like Pierce died or something and I know that's not true because
Channing said he's alive and at home. I couldn't get a straight answer
from him about what happened. Though I know the lines have been
drawn. Sides have been chosen and my wedding isn't going to be a nice

quiet affair.
Rachel shakes in my arms holding back sobs. Mom said she was fine
when she got here. It's like it hit her all at once and she can't keep the
pain inside. It wants out of her but there's no way to purge it. She'll be
forever stuck with it.
I sit on the floor with my beloved sister for long minutes. I wait it out
because I know she'll cry herself to sleep. I don't think her dreams will
help but she refuses to take anything to calm her down.
When she finally does fall into a fitful sleep I lift her off the floor gently
and set her on her childhood bed. I watch her toss and turn before
smoothing a lock of hair out of her face and leaving the room.
Wes got a call from Pierce this morning telling her about Rachel. Or
that he's getting separated from her. I don't know if he gave her any
details. But I imagine he did because she isn't here, she's with him.
Sometimes I don' t understand the bond that they have. He left her
hanging at a time when she needed him the most. I picked up the pieces
and I had to hold her together for a long time. I hated him then. I hated
him more when he got Rach pregnant. Even after all these years I' m
still harboring resentment towards him.
This whole situation doesn't help.
I find my mom and dad in the living room. Normally they would be
watching TV or reading the paper but now they both sit in silence. You
ever get cold chills down your spine and you just know something
horrible is about to happen?
That's how I feel right now.
"Royal I need you to come sit down. I have some things I need to talk to
you about," my mom says in her therapist voice. I hate that voice.
When she uses it I know she's going to feed me some psycho babble
bullshit.
"'Kay," I reply, moving to sit on the couch across from them. This
house used to be my home until I left for college. When I came back a
year ago, Wes and I bought a house and moved in together. I still love
this place though. All its high ceilings and cream-colored walls. The
furniture isn't fancy but it was expensive. The couches have stains and
the cushions sink a bit but you know that the people who live here use

them. It's a very comfortable place to be.
My mom clears her throat and her face goes from blank to worried.
That makes me sit up and take notice. She's worried about Rachel, and
I mean I know she should be. We are all worried about Rachel but she'
s really worried about Rachel. "Rachel told me what happened when
she arrived this morning. I want you to listen to everything I have to
say. Don't interrupt me, just let me get it out. Then you can ask
questions. I'm afraid if I don't get this out to you then I never will."
Dread fills my stomach. What did Rachel do? It's hard to imagine that
my sister could do anything to ruin her marriage. The only picture
running through my head right now is her standing up at the altar with
Pierce. How much love they shared, his hands on her stomach
protecting my nephew. I didn't think it was possible for anyone to love
Courtney Pierce that much. He's a closed off asshole most of the time.
I just nod my head instead of opening my mouth to speak. I'm frozen in
my dread. It might seem simple to you but it's not. In my group of
friends and family, I would choose Wesley and Rachel first. And I have
a feeling my fiance and my twin sister are going to be at odds now.
Because Wesley would choose Pierce over Rachel. Life is going to
become a living hell.
"Rachel explained to me that she had a tryst with Donovan Pierce,"
Mom blurts and all the muscles in my body lock up.
What. The.
Fuck.
I open my mouth to exclaim a few words to make my mom blush but
she holds up her hand. My dad looks at me with anger in his eyes. He
places his hand on Mom's shoulder and squeezes, offering his quiet
support. "They didn't have sex. But that's not what I need to explain to
you. Some of the things Rachel said about that night put up red flags in
my head. "
Mom shifts around on the couch, uncomfortable with telling me this.
Or maybe she's just nervous about my reaction. Even Dad looks like
he's ready to bust off the couch and tackle me. "Rachel said she wasn't
into the actions that were going on between her and Donovan. I

got the impression she didn't even know how she ended up in that
position to begin with. "
I don't like where this is going. If that prick Donovan forced Rachel
into what happened I' m going to fucking kill him.
You, under no circumstances, ever force a female into sexual activities
with you. Most especially my fucking sister.
Mom pauses when she sees my entire body tense up but I said I
wouldn't speak until she was done. I wave her on. "She seems confused
about the whole ordeal. She didn't come out and tell me any details but
I don' t think she really remembers everything. And she said she was
really drunk."
Why would my sister be getting drunk with Donovan in the first place?
Yeah he's her brother-in-law but I don't think she really had that much
of a relationship with him. Mostly he sticks with his friends. Even his
relationship with his brother is strained. It's been strained since...
I close my eyes and I grit my teeth. I hate to admit it but I'm on the
verge of tears. "Are you okay honey?" Mom asks, crossing the space
between the couches and sitting next to me. She wraps her arms around
me and I take in her vanilla scent. It comforts me a little. My mom
gives great hugs.
I shake my head because I'm not okay. "Can I speak now?" I ask her
shoulder.
She nods and pulls away to look at me. "You have the same suspicion I
do, don't you?"
"The first thing I thought about when you started this, I thought about
the love between Pierce and Rachel on their wedding day. How
incredibly happy and totally into each other they were. And now that I
think about it, I can't remember a time that it was any different between
them. They've always been it for each other." I place my head in my
hands trying to block out the shit I see in my head. I see Donovan
taking advantage of my sister. You believe what you want but that
asshole did this on purpose. Rachel would never willingly cheat on
Pierce. "He did something to her Mom. She wouldn't do that to Pierce
no matter how drunk she was. Donovan set her up. "
Mom rubs the back of my neck. "I need you to speak to Channing

about this, discreetly. The entire Pierce/Bridges clan is going to flip out
if we start accusing Donovan of anything, at least without proof. "
"Why Channing? He's going to believe us. He's more my brother than
he's ever been Pierce's." I dig my nails into my palm to keep myself in
check. No matter what happens, I can't run off half cocked and looking
for a fight. "And why doesn't Pierce believe Rachel? That doesn't make
any sense."
Mom sighs and that's when I feel Dad move onto the couch next to me.
"Sounds to me like Rachel had a little GHB or another drug like that.
The way your mother explained it, Rachel didn't push him away, didn't
try to stop him yet she wasn't enjoying it. The GHB would have made
her lucid and confused and very sleepy. I doubt she was really drunk.
But Rachel blames herself. She doesn't seem to even realize what we
do. She thinks she deserves everything that has happened to her. "
"Fuck that shit. She didn't deserve any of that," I say, my voice
cracking from emotion.
"We know that, honey. We know just like you that Rachel wouldn't
cheat on Pierce, no matter their past history. Rachel loves Asher way
too much to ever do anything to hurt him. That's why I know Donovan
did something to her." Mom seems so calm but I see the wrinkles on
her pants were she's been gripping them. Not to mention her chewed
nails.
"Rachel said that Channing came home that night in the middle of
everything. I think that's the only reason nothing worse happened.
That's why we want you to talk to him. "
I tell them that I will and I get up to leave. Before I leave the house
though I walk upstairs to my sister's room. I walk into the room and
take in the white and pink thrown all around. Mom didn't change either
of our rooms after we moved out. And that makes this much worse. My
sister isn't a little girl anymore. She's a grown woman. But that doesn't
mean I still can't protect her.
Rachel is still asleep and I lean over her bed to kiss her forehead. Then
I whisper, "No matter what happens, I will get justice for this. Their
family might hate us and I might lose the love of my life, but it will be
worth it when I get to wrap my hands around that fucker's neck."

I rise up and look down at her. "Yeah, girl. I promised you when we
were little that I would always protect you and I' m sorry I couldn' t
protect you from this. But I will protect you from the aftermath. "
I walk towards the bedroom door but I stop before walking out. "I love
you Rach." I know she can't hear me, but that doesn't matter. I just need
to say it.
***
Anger isn't something I've had to live with in my life. And this anger is
boiling under my skin, raging to get out. It wants my fist to land in that
fucker's face because I know down in my soul that he did something to
Rachel. He used her and her life to fuck with Pierce. While Pierce
probably deserved it, Rachel didn't. She doesn't deserve to be treated
like a second-class citizen because Donovan isn't over Pierce fucking
his slut of a girlfriend.
Maybe we should just lay this at Annabella Gage's feet. I've never had
any interaction with the chick but I still know she's a snake. Always has
been. You can just see it in her eyes, the secrets and lies. She fucked her
life up because she couldn't handle being happy. I hope she's miserable.
I pull up outside Pierce and Rachel's house and climb out of my car. I
find Pierce sitting on the porch his head between his legs. You can feel
the total loss coming off of him. I had thought maybe I' d find him
partying it up and loving the single life. Instead I find him in much of
the same state as my sister. I close my eyes and grit my teeth. Don' t
even acknowledge him. He doesn't deserve it.
When I approach, he lifts his head. His green eyes meet mine and I
have to take a step back. His pain surrounds me, drawing me in until I
can barely stand on my own two feet. "What did I do?" he asks, tears
shining in his eyes.
Then it's like my body comes back to life. He knows and he wishes he'
d figured it out earlier. Before my sister left the house. "You figured
it out?"

He nods. "Out of all the people in my life, Rachel wouldn't ever do
anything to hurt me. She wouldn't do anything to hurt our boy." He says
it softly and I hear it in his voice, he absolutely believes what he just
said.
"Have you said any of this to Channing?" Just from one minute of
conversation with Pierce I have a plan.
Pierce nods again. I move up the porch steps and place my hand on his
shoulder. Then I squeeze. Despite how I feel about the guy, he loves
my sister like no other man ever can. Neither of them will ever be
happy without the other. I should know because I feel the same way
about my Duchess.
The same goes for Channing but I don't think any of us could ever
forgive Paisley for what she did. She ripped his heart out when the man
had had enough of that in his life. They'll need to time travel to fix their
problems. Though you never know, this is Meadows, where the
strangest shit happens.
I find Channing pacing in the living room. Everyone says Channing is
uptight and intense. That he doesn't show emotion but they don't know
him like I do. The man feels things way deeper than any of us. He feels
it all the time and I can't tell you how he lives with it. His empathy is so
great and he loves everyone around him. This has to be killing him.
When he sees me, he crosses over to me. He stops a foot away and
clenches his fists next to his thighs. "I want to find that fucker and beat
the life out of him," he states in his calm cool voice and it's all I can do
not to smirk.
"Oh he's dead. We just have to set my plan in motion," I tell him,
waving him back outside to my brother-in-law.
He follows me out the door and takes a seat next to his half brother.
They look nothing alike and they never have. The only thing that points
to their shared parenthood is their personalities. They are both quiet
and intense. They both fiercely protect those they love. And they both
love with all their hearts.
I move down the stairs and stand in front of them with my arms crossed
over my chest. "The only people who matter in this situation are Rachel
and Asher. And we will protect them with our lives. Now that

might sound ominous but we all know this isn't really going to end in
death. Well maybe Donovan's, but that's another matter entirely."
"He's fucking dead," Pierce mutters, looking up at me with all the
hatred in his eyes. "I know I fucked up with him in the past and I
deserved to be hurt because of it. Rachel and my son did not." He rubs a
hand down his face and looks at the ground. "My mother may never
talk to me again but my brother is a dead man walking. No one hurts
my wife. No one. "
"Good to hear you say that." I give him a nod. This is about the time my
future wife pulls up in Pierce's driveway. The tiny little blonde jumps
out of the car, not even bothering to turn it off. She stalks up the
driveway and runs right past me before I can grab a hold of her arm.
She raises her hand and then proceeds to slap the shit out of Pierce.
Channing and I are in shock and that doesn't help Pierce unfortunately.
"You stupid son of a bitch! How could you even for one fucking second
believe Rachel did that willingly? Are you fucking stupid? Or do you
just have your head so far up your ass you can' t see the fucking sun
anymore?" Then she reaches down and takes her shoe off her foot.
They are little black flats but that doesn' t stop her from using it like a
bat. She swings that thing at Pierce and hands him his ass.
I finally come to my senses and pull her off of him. "Duchess, he feels
bad enough as it is. Let's not add a hospital trip to the mix."
She struggles in my arms and I know she's not listening to me. "How
could you? You know this is all your fault? You fucking bastard!" Then
she kicks me in the shin, startling me enough to drop my arms.
Pierce holds up his arms to protect his head from my little avenging
angel. "Jesus, Wes. Stop beating me up, I know I fucked up. Okay?"
When she doesn't say anything he looks up and that's when she punches
him in the eye, just like I taught her. "Fuck!" Pierce exclaims, covering
his eye with his hand.
"Wesley, I didn't teach you how to throw a punch properly so you could
beat the shit out of a man who can't fight back. You're making this
unfair a little." So I'm trying to make her stop when I think it's funny as
shit. There are more important things to worry about now and Wesley
needs to cool the fuck off.

"I hope that hurts for a long ass time. And I don't even care if you have
a black eye in my wedding pictures." Then she moves away from him
and stands next to me.
Channing just makes Pierce face him and looks at his eye. "Fuck
Wesley where did you get the power to do that? He's already getting a
bruise and we all know this asshole has a hard head." Then he smirks at
my fiance.
"Well I wanted to punch him five years ago when this all got set in
motion but I didn't think I had it in me then. So yeah, that's five years
worth of pent up aggression." Then she wraps her arms around my
waist. "I did a good job right?" she asks with her face upturned to mine.
I lean over and kiss her forehead. "You did good, girl."
Then she beams. She's like the fucking sun when she does that. God, I
love her.
"Well if we could move on from wanting to punch me in the face, I'd
like to hear Royal's plan, if you don't mind. I kind of have a huge
problem right now." He glares at Wesley. Channing just shakes his
head and runs into the house. He comes back a moment later with a
frozen steak. He slaps it in Pierce' s hand and Pierce places it gently
against his eye.
Wes looks back up at me. "What plan?"
I squeeze her before looking up at Pierce and Channing. "Pierce, you' re
gonna have to stay away from Rachel. " His eyebrows furrow and I see
him start to protest but I hold a hand up. "Donovan needs to think he' s
won. He needs to think we are all divided. That' s the only way we can
surprise him. He won' t see it coming and that' s what we want. Besides,
we're gonna need proof to convince Rachel. At this point she truly
thinks she did something wrong and that this is all her fault. "
Pierce stands up and starts kicking the shit out of the wooden railing.
The wood creaks and groans until he knocks it over. You can see the
rage in every line in his body. Then he visibly calms down and faces us.
Wesley and I have taken a step back and Channing moved further up
the stairs. "This is all my fault. Even after four years of being rid of her
that fucking cunt bitch is still ruining my life. " He looks up at Wesley
with self-loathing in his eyes. "When will she leave me alone? When

will I have paid for all of my mistakes?"
She rushes out of my arms and flings herself at Pierce. "I don't know
honey. She's always been a cancer for this family. We may never be rid
of the destruction she caused. I know we can never be whole again.
Donovan will never have a place with us now, not after he took it too
far. Aunt Lily is going to string him up by his balls and set his ass on
fire."
As much as I like the sound of that, "Anyway, we need to get proof,
then we set Rachel on his ass. In fact, by the time we're all done with
him, there won't be anything left."
"Where are we going to get proof? He will have covered his tracks."
Channing mentions, crossing his arms over his chest and giving me a
look. A look that says this isn't going to work. Well then I'll just have to
change his faith in me. Asshole.
"Damien. He'll know anyone who sells or makes GHB. And we search
Donovan's house. Not today or tomorrow, but next week. If everything
goes like I plan, we can get in there one day while he' s at work. He' s
not going to keep anything in the living room but there are several
rooms in that house that his family doesn' t venture into. " And I won't
be the one to do it. I'd never leave that place the way I found it. I would
destroy everything he owns. This motherfucker might think he' s won,
but he really should have thought about the wrath of a pissed off
brother. That's one of the things I couldn't believe. Is he so arrogant that
he can't see it? Hell, he beat up Ashley's ex-boyfriend while he was in
the hospital just because he almost got her killed. Does he not realize I
would kill him for this?
"Oh fuck!" Wesley shouts and then runs towards her car. She throws
open the back door and a few seconds later she pops back out with a
tiny redhead in her arms.
Jesus.
BeeBee Vaughn lights up the second she sees Channing. Channing on
the other hand looks like he might throw up. "Channing! Channing!
Channing!" the little girl chants struggling to get to him.
Wesley finally sets her down. She runs at Channing with all that red
hair flowing behind her like fire. Channing bends down and scoops

her into his arms. "Hey there my precious girl," he mumbles, kissing
her on the head.

Channing
It takes one moment in time to break someone. This is one of those
moments. BeeBee and I have always had a special bond. Maybe it's our
love for her sister or maybe it's because we are both old souls. I can't
really tell you but I know we have one.
I struggle with it every day that I don't get to see her anymore. I miss
the bitch with every breath I take but I also miss BeeBee. She' s a little
miniature version of her older sister, lots of people used to ask if they
were mother and daughter.
"I've missed you so much my tiny fairy," I whisper into her hair. I hold
back my tears but just barely. I'm not going to fall apart in front of the
little girl in my arms.
I look into her blue-green eyes and I see knowledge a seven year old
shouldn't have. "I missed you too. Paisley misses you more though. She
cries all the time." I've spent the better part of a year not thinking or
saying her name. The people around me haven't been saying it either.
So hearing it now is like getting shot in the chest. And I would know
considering my sister described the experience to me when she got shot
during the middle of a mob war.
I smooth locks of red hair out of BeeBee's face and I look her deep in
the eyes. "I miss her too. Every day. I miss her so much that it hurts all
the time. But I can't forgive her. There're only so many wrongs I can
handle before your sister can't make it right."
Wesley clears her throat and puts a hand on BeeBee's shoulder. "Why
don't you go inside and watch TV, hmmm? Channing and the rest of us
have some things we need to talk about that your little ears don't need to
hear. "
BeeBee curls up her lip and turns her head to look at Wesley. "You
don't have to speak to me like I'm a little kid. I'm seven now. I'm almost
grown."

Royal coughs to cover up the laughter I see in his eyes. Hell, I have to
bite my lip. So much like her sister this tiny fairy is. I kiss her on the
forehead, "You should go inside. We'll talk later, okay?"
BeeBee sighs and nods. Then she races up the stairs and into the house.
I stare down at Wesley until her cheeks start to turn pink. "Her sister
called and asked me to babysit for a little while. Apparently your ex
had to take Henry to the doctor. I think he's having trouble with his
heart."
Margret didn't tell me that. Of course you have to actually pick up the
phone and call someone to learn anything. And this is something I
haven't done in weeks because I'm a horrible person. I've just lived my
life for the past year in a fog. Nothing makes sense yet everything does.
Most mornings I don't know which way is up or down yet I get out of
bed when my feet touch the ground.
"I guess I need to give Margret a call," I mumble and move away from
everyone. It doesn't help though. I still feel like I can't breathe. I feel
like the first real breath I've taken in months came when I saw BeeBee
get out of that car.
I scroll down to Margret's name in my phone and hit dial. She answers
after the third ring. "Why I do believe this is my long lost grandson
calling to check up on my husband. Interesting, just interesting."
"Margret," I mutter, knowing I have a verbal beat down coming. This
woman doesn't let me get away with anything.
"He's going to be fine you know. As long as I keep him on a strict diet
and make sure he exercises, he shouldn't have another scare." I hear her
heels click along. She must be walking on tile. "Paisley dear, do you
think you can run out and get me a cup of coffee? Suddenly I'm quite
tired." I hear a voice in the background and I close my eyes because I
know who that is. Margret never did play fair. "Don't forget the
Channing... ah I mean creamer dear."
"You shouldn't torture her like that. Or me for that matter," I tell her as
I start to pace up and down the driveway.
Margret laughs and while the laugh is evil I know she doesn't mean us
any harm. She's actually been quite civil about the whole thing. But

then again what can you do? When your step-grandson refuses to
forgive your granddaughter, you don't really have a choice. She knows
if she pushes either of us, then she'd lose both of us. "Nonsense, Paisley
needs a little torture. She's been gone for far too long. At least she calls
to check up on her family. Unlike some little boy that I know. "
I roll my eyes. "I'm not a little boy. And I'm not acting like a little boy
either. I think I've handled the entire situation with grace and dignity."
Margret huffs. "I know she hurt you. She hurt all of us. But she mostly
hurt herself and you wouldn't believe the amount of sadness she feels
inside without you. Brings me to tears on most days. "
I rub my forehead and move my pacing faster. "Can we not talk about
that? Jesus, I go weeks without hearing about her and all of a sudden
everyone wants to talk about her today. "
"Yes, they may not talk about her, around you at least. Though you
think about her all the time. I know you do. I spent years thinking about
Henry and I couldn't do anything about it." She pauses and I hear it in
the air. The bitch has entered the room again. "Though he was married
with three kids while you and Paisley are free. You can fix this and you
both know it. "
"Leave him be." Chills break out all over my body. I haven't heard that
sweet southern accent in a year. It moves over me and I almost fall to
my knees. It's like the first time she ever spoke to me. I almost fell to
my knees then. I was only held up by my anger over her being there.
Now I'm held up by my rage with her. My broken heart can't take it and
I have to grit my teeth to stop a tear from falling from my eyes.
I hang up the phone without saying anything.
I stop at the end of the driveway and I think heavily about moving out
in the main road and waiting for a car to hit me. Would it make this pain
stop? Or would I have to wait in the afterlife for her? Only to be
tortured by her for the rest of eternity?
"You know, at first I knew what you were going through. Rachel left
me that one time, you remember? But we found our way back to each
other. I thought for a few months after she left that she would come
back. That she would apologize and you'd learn to forgive her." Pierce

moves to stand right next to me. He looks beaten and worn out. "Then I
realized that she didn't have the balls. We've all thought she was this
badass chick that didn't put up with anyone's shit, but that's not true.
She'll take her own shit and it screwed up both your lives. I wonder if
she realizes that. "
I nod my head. "She does."
"How do you figure that?"
"Because she and I are the same. I'd know it was all my fault. But I
wouldn't have walked away." I scratch at my chin and decide I'm not
going to walk into traffic today. If only to save Pierce from himself.
And help off that jackass Donovan.
"This is all my fault. What happened with Rachel," he tells me, looking
down at the ground with his hands in his pockets.
"What happened to Rachel falls on the actions of three people.
Annabella, Donovan and you. You can't be blamed solely for this.
Donovan shouldn' t have let his anger and hurt get this bad. Annabella
shouldn't have been with either of you. And you shouldn't have loved
that psycho bitch. "
"Did I ever really love her? What I feel for Rachel isn't what I felt for
Annabella." He turns his head to the side and squints. "Speak of the
goddamn devil. "
I look in that direction and watch in shock as a honey blonde struts
down the street. There's a little girl walking beside her. One with honey
blonde hair. We had heard through Ashley that Annabella had gotten
married to Sage. Then we heard she had a little girl. They must live
near here for her to be walking down the street with a toddler.
"You felt lust and kindred with Annabella. You went through
something horrible and she could relate too. That doesn't equal love." I
put my hand on his shoulder knowing it's going to be hard for him
regardless to see Annabella. "Rachel hangs the moon and lights the
stars for you. No one could ever take that away. The same goes for her.
You' ll get through this. I know it. Everyone who loves you knows it.
Donovan tried to bring you down. And he might have succeeded but he
fucked with the wrong girl to get his revenge. I'm surprised he wasn't
smart enough to figure that out. "

"Hatred and revenge make people stupid," Royal states as he walks up
behind us. "Did we order a dose of crazy or something? "
"I don't know. It would seem so since she's coming right this way."
Pierce cringes the closer she gets to us.
I'm happy to note the baby girl has green eyes, unlike her mother's
freaky honey-colored ones. I've always thought Annabella was more
sideshow looking than beautiful. "Can we help you with something,
Queen of Crazytown?" Royal says sarcastically.
Wesley comes running down the driveway. Pierce catches her around
the waist before she can get to close. "No need to punch Annabella in
front of her kid, Wes. "
Wesley blinks a few times and looks down at the toddler. She goes
down to her haunches and reaches her hand out for the kid. "Hi there
cutie. What's your name?"
The little girl looks up at her mom and then back to Wesley.
"Ann."
Wesley puts a hand to her throat and looks at Annabella in horror. "You
named her after me?"
"Yes," is all Annabella has to say. We all look at her for an explanation
as to why she is here but she just stares at us.
"Seriously, can you explain why you're here? I'm starting to get stalker
hibbie jibbies," Pierce tells her, never quite looking her in the eyes. The
last time they had to interact, Ashley had gotten shot.
"I heard about Rachel and Donovan," Annabella finally speaks. Then
she reaches into her back pocket and pulls out a slip of paper. "I had
Sage tell me the names of people who deal in GHB. This guy says he
sold it to Donovan. It took Sage a while to get it out of him, but a bullet
hole in the foot finally did the trick. "
We all stare at her in silence. The whole time she's been standing there
her face has been blank but now she slowly starts to smirk. That' s the
Annabella I remember. "I know I don't deserve forgiveness and I don' t
want to be friends or anything. I just remember what it was like to have
you and Wesley in my life, Pierce. If there is anything I can do to make
the situation better, I will do it. I could do this." She sighs and I notice
her free hand tighten against her thigh. "Rachel would never do

anything like this. I don't even have to know either of you all that well
to figure it out. You two deserve to be happy. Donovan deserves to be
hung out to dry. "
Then she scoops the little girl into her arms and strides away. Before
she gets too far Wesley yells after her, "Why did you name her after
me?"
Annabella stops and turns around. "Because you were the best thing
that ever happened to me. And I never wanted to forget how that made
me feel." She gives Wesley a real smile. "Besides, you have the purest
soul of anyone else in this town. I was hoping you could bless that upon
my child." Then she turns around and we all watch until she disappears
into the distance.
"That was seriously the weirdest thing ever," Royal states while
wrapping his arms around Wesley. Pierce and I exchange a look. That
chick just keeps getting weirder and weirder.
We all head back up the driveway but I stop about halfway. Something
just makes me and if you asked me to explain why, I couldn't. It's
almost as if someone whispered in my ear, but not quite. When I do
turn around it's to see a black Camaro pulling into the driveway. She' s
had that car for five years now and once upon a time it brought back
memories.
The first time we fucked was on the hood of that car in the fucking rain.
I couldn't make that shit up if I tried. We were both drunk and when she
kissed me I knew I couldn't make it into her house, which was only ten
feet away. Then again maybe I didn't have it in me to take her to a bed.
I didn' t much care for her then. She was this enemy I had no reason to
be fighting with. In my head I knew if we made it to a bed I wouldn't
ever walk away. Though she didn't deserve all that. I've been fucked in
the head most of my life and I couldn't tell you why I did certain things.
I can only tell you I was protecting myself.
Maybe I should have protected myself better.
Royal and Pierce appear in front of me, like that will protect me from
her. I should tell them to move because I don't need it. And I really don'
t. She could have talked to me before she broke my heart. She could
have expressed herself better than she did. But she didn't and she ruined

everything. That's all on her. They should be protecting her from me in
all honesty.
"Why is it I find the two of you in front of him, when you both damn
well know he doesn't need to be protected?" Her voice reaches my ears
and it's like fireworks going off in my body. I love her voice. The
southern accent and the dips in tones along with the dark undertone.
When she speaks she means business.
"We aren't protecting him, sweetheart. We're protecting you. I
remember what it was like while you two were courting each other. I
can't imagine what he could do to you now." Royal smirks and raises
his arms over his head. For the world he looks relaxed but I see the
tension in his shoulders. He shouldn't be this stressed the day before his
wedding.
I need her to leave so we can drink some beer and chill out in front of
the TV for his bachelor party. Not much of one if you ask me but since
this is the third one we've thrown, it's sort of routine.
I turn around and head towards the house. Wesley comes out the front
door with BeeBee. I scoop the tiny fairy up and walk her down the
driveway. "I' m not gonna see you again, am I?" she asks, her voice
small and sad.
I smooth my hand over her hair and lay her head against my shoulder.
"You'll see me again, tiny fairy. I'll come and see you once your sister
leaves again. I'm sorry I didn't come visit before but it was too hard for
me. "
I feel her nod her head against me. "Paisley didn't want to come.
Mamaw threw a huge fit and they yelled on the phone for ten minutes.
Mamaw said if she didn't come that she would leave Papaw and never
speak to her again." BeeBee sniffles and I hold her closer to me. "When
they got off the phone Mamaw said she was bluffing and that she would
never do any of that. I told her I knew that and that I knew sometimes
you have to be mean to Paisley to get her to do anything. "
I laugh. "Yes, sometimes you have to be."
Pierce and Royal part when we approach. Royal gives BeeBee a kiss on
the cheek. Pierce fist bumps her. Then we make our way down to the
bitch. I stop three feet from her and I stare down at her with my blank

face on. Even my eyes are blank because this woman knows how to
read me. When I see it in her eyes, the fear, I set BeeBee down on her
feet and back away slowly, never taking my eyes off the bitch. "I'll be
seeing you, tiny fairy. "
The bitch swallows hard and opens the door so BeeBee can climb in the
car. I turn around, walking towards the house when her voice stops me.
"You can act all cool and collected, Channing. You can stand there and
pretend you don't feel anything. You could give me the cold shoulder
and silent treatment for the rest of our lives but I'll always know."
I know she wants me to turn around so she can tell me what she knows,
but I don' t give her the satisfaction. I just stand there giving her my
back, waiting. I do know if she doesn' t tell me what she knows, I' ll lose
my goddamn mind.
I hear the hitch in her voice and I know she' s on the verge of tears. I
close my eyes and grit my teeth. It's all a ploy, one to make me look at
her. She hated it when I shut her out. Not that I did it much but she
could piss me off sometimes.
"I'll always know that you love me. I'll always know it's you and me
until the end of time. No matter if we are together or apart. " I turn
around so fast I think I might have broke my neck. Tears run down her
face. No one is around us and it's just her and me.
"You say that like you mean it." I laugh harshly and she flinches. "What
I remember is you leaving me behind." I walk closer to her and I look at
her with all the pain and regret in my eyes. "I don't think it was ever you
and me. "
I stalk up the driveway and into the house. I pass empty rooms and
halls, not seeing anyone or anything. I make it to my room and I slam
the door shut. I lock the door and I lay down on my bed. Tears slowly
leak down my eyes as I turn my iPod on. "Remember Everything" by
Five Finger Death Punch plays while I remember that day one year ago.
The day my entire life ended.

Pierce watches me from the couch, his expression relaxed. It still seems
funny sometimes to see him so relaxed. Most of our lives have been
spent fighting and being at odds with each other. Then I found out he
was my half brother and all of that changed. When you grow up without
anyone who loves you, finding family you didn't know you had or could
have, it's like a dream come true. I don't care what he's done to me in
the past because none of that matters anymore.
"Why do you seem so nervous? You won't even notice all the people
once Paisley comes down the aisle. It'll be just you and her. " He would
know since he married Rachel about four years ago. I didn't envy him
then but we were eighteen years old and just starting our adult lives.
There he was, getting married and having a kid with one of my best
friends. He's like me though; he knew she was it for him. Just like I
know Paisley is it for me.
The door opens and in walks Ashley. Her black hair down around her
shoulders and those icy blue eyes full of hope and love. Sometimes it
still gets to me how much she looks like our father. She looks more
related to me then she does to Pierce and they are full-blooded siblings.
"Look at you!" she exclaims, striding over to me. "So handsome. " She
cups my cheeks and squeezes just a little too hard.
I shake out of her hold and rub at my face. " Why the hell did you do
that? "
She laughs and goes to sit next to Pierce on the couch. " You look pale.
I thought it might brighten up your face a little bit. "
"Was I that pale?" Pierce asks her while he puts his arm around her
shoulders.
She shakes her head and pats his leg. " Of course Annabella tried to
ruin your day so you were quite flushed. Channing is just a little
overwhelmed. All the people and having to spend the rest of his life
married to a crazy redhead. " Then she winks at me.
" I' d take the redhead any day. You on the other hand, let' s just say I
feel bad for Damien. " She smacks Pierce on the chest. "What? You are
way more crazy than anyone else here today. What with the mob wars
and biker clubs. Plus a secret marriage to a biker dude named Rage. "

"My life is crazy, I'm not crazy, " she states before she smacks him on
the back of the head.
"Willyou stop hitting me? Good lord. " Ashley only snickers.
I give a tiny smile at them. They might not help with the nervousness
but they are a good distraction. And honestly I' m not nervous to marry
Paisley. I just have a bad feeling something bad is going to happen.
Like her crazy grandmother showing up or one of my friends standing
up to object. Shit like that would happen to us.
Lily runs into the room and smiles at me. She throws her arms around
me, " One more of my flock ready to leave. Only one more to go and
then I can have the house to myself!" Then she backs away and beams
up at me. " Let' s go, we have a wedding to get over with. Then we can
have some alcohol!"
"Ma! You aren't getting drunk today. I really don't want to have to
carry your drunk ass home again. I really didn' t want to hear about
you having sex with your ex boyfriends. " Pierce's skin actually turns
green.
"Nonsense. I didn't do any such thing. " Then she leaves the room
before Pierce can say anything else.
We exit the room and head out the door next to the altar. We stand
together as Royal rushes down the aisle pulling at his tie. He stands
right next to me with Pierce on his other side.
I try to calm myself down as the wedding march is played but I know
something bad is about to go down. When Rachel is supposed to walk,
followed by Wesley and then Carly, but nothing happens, I just know
this will be the worst day of my life. Instead of the girls Margret walks
down the aisle, her hands shaky and a piece of paper in them.
"I'm so sorry my love, " she whispers and chills go down my back. She
puts the piece of paper in my hands and closes them over it. Then she
turns around and clears her throat. " The wedding isn' t going to
happen today I'm afraid. Thank you all for coming. "
I think I' m in shock because nothing is penetrating. I keep expecting
Paisley to run down the aisle and say this was all a mistake. I open the
letter hoping something called her away but I know deep in my soul
that' s not what I' ll find in this letter.
I only read one line. I don' t care about her excuses or her crazy

reasoning. I told her if she did this to me again I wouldn' t ever forgive
her. And I fucking meant that.
I'm sorry. I can't marry you.
I drop the letter and I don't know what comes over me. It's like I've
become anger and rage. I'm channeling it from hell or something. I
start destroying things. I pick up the flower arrangements and smash
them against the wall. I start kicking holes in the walls and knocking
over candles. I' m ripping curtains down and shredding them with my
bare hands.
I don' t stop until Royal and Pierce tackle me to the ground. I thrash
against them and I try so hard to fight my way out from underneath
them. "I have to get it out, " I say over and over again.
Ashley appears above them, tears leaking down her face. " We know,
baby. We know. " She smoothes a hand over my face. "Just calm down
sweetie, we' ll make it all better. "
Something pinches on my arm and I look down to see Lily with a needle
in her hand. "What did you do to me?" I ask as everything starts to get
foggy around me.
"Something to make you feel better, " she whispers. At some point
Pierce and Royal have climbed off of me and now everyone stands
around me. Ashley isn't the only one crying.
" I knew she' d do this to me again. I shouldn' t have believed she' d
changed, " I tell Lily. I'm starting to get confused and I don't know
where I am. " Will you tell her I need her? Can you get Paisley? "
Lily chokes back a sob and grabs my hand. "Okay sweetie, I'll go get
her. "
That's about the time I pass out.

Rachel
"Where's Daddy?" my little boy asks me. His green eyes look up at me
and it's all I can do not to cry. I've cried so much today. I know I'll cry
some more later, but I refuse to do that in front of Asher.
I put a piece of our puzzle in the right place and then I answer him.
"He's at our house with his friends. Uncle Royal is getting married
tomorrow, remember? They are having a party to celebrate and it' s
only for boys. "
"Can I go? I'm a boy." He looks so hopeful and I don't want to tell him
no. I never want to tell him no. Well, unless he's drawing on the walls
or throwing rolls of toilet paper in the toilet.
I clear my throat and search through the puzzle box for the piece I'm
looking for. "It's a grown up party, little man."
He pouts now looking so much like his father I can't hold it in. I miss
Court so much and I want him to hold me more than I ever have before.
The only safe place in this world is in his arms. Funny how that works
out isn't it? The one place I want to be the most is the one place I can
never be again.
I love Court so much it hurts. I think about him all the time and he' s the
most wonderful father. How could I have done this to him? I keep
racking my brain, like I've been doing for weeks. It makes little to no
sense. I know I didn't want Donovan. Hell, I've never found myself
attracted to him. Was it some kind of mid-life crisis? Can you have one
of those in your twenties?
"I wanna be with Daddy. You're too sad for me today." And I tried so
hard to cover that up, the sadness. I wouldn't be surprised if my mother
walked in right now and threw some anti-depressants at me. I also
wouldn't be surprised if Wesley showed up right now and beat the shit
out of me. It would put me out of my misery. But she won't. She's
probably over at our house soothing Court, which is where she needs to

be. He needs comfort way more than I do. I don't deserve comfort.
"Then call him on my phone and ask him to come get you, " I snap and
then I close my eyes. I shouldn't have snapped at him like that. He's a
child and he doesn't understand what his Mommy did. I'm the bad guy
here and Asher shouldn't have to put up with me.
"Rachel, honey. I'll give Courtney a call and see if I can take Asher
over there." She frowns at me from the doorway of my old bedroom. Or
I should say my old new bedroom. I didn't even notice she was standing
there. "You need to rest right now. You've been through a lot in the last
couple of weeks. "
"I haven't been through anything. Court has. I did this to myself and he
didn't deserve it." I stand up from the floor and walk into my bathroom.
I shut the door softly and sink to the cold tile floor. Then I start sobbing
because that's all I can do. I can't fix this and it's killing me. I feel
constantly sick and I know it'll never go away.
It feels like hours later when "What Hurts The Most" by Rascal Flatts
starts playing in my bedroom. I had curled into the fetal position on the
floor and the song makes me lift my head up. This is such a sad song.
I finally climb off the floor and go back into my bedroom. Asher and
my mother are no longer in the room and I feel guilty because I didn't
say goodbye to my baby. I hate that I've caused this confusion in him.
Honestly, I just hate myself for all kinds of things right now.
When I find Paisley Vaughn sitting on my bed I about faint. She is the
last person I would expect to find in my house, let alone in my
bedroom. "You have a lot of nerve showing up here. "
She sighs and stands up. "You know me, Rachel. When have I ever not
had the nerve to do anything? " She arches an eyebrow and crosses her
arms over her chest. I see the tension in her shoulders and the slight
shakiness of her hands. She's not as calm and collected as she seems to
be.
"You didn't have the nerve to actually walk down the aisle and marry
the love of your life," I tell her and it's true. No one saw that coming. I
still remember the destruction of the church. Channing completely lost
it. He had to be sedated for crying out loud. We never

thought he would recover. I think he stayed stoned for three months just
so he could be alive.
I shake my head because I don't want to relive those times.
Paisley looks at me with all that sadness and regret you should feel
when you fuck over everyone you love. And that's what she did. She
alienated herself from all her friends and Channing, who will love her
for the rest of his life, regardless if he's with her or not. He's lived with
me since Paisley left and he's yet to even have sex with anyone else, let
alone kiss them. He'll probably one day find a girl to scratch his itches
but it'll be years down the road.
"You can give me sad eyes all you want but I won't ever be on your
side." I move around the room and turn the music off. She put it on my
heartbreaking playlist. I really don't need that in my life right now.
"I don't need you to be on my side. That's not why I'm here." I give her
a sneer, knowing exactly why she's here. I have no idea who could have
told her but I'll probably end up killing them brutally.
"How did you find out? " I sit down at my computer chair and rock
back and forth out of boredom. This conversation isn't going to happen
no matter how good of friends we used to be.
"Annabella." My eyes go wide at that statement and I find myself
speechless.
"She didn't really give me any details about how she knew. She just
showed up at my house with a kid. Then she was like 'Donovan
sexually assaulted Rachel. Rachel thinks it's all her fault and she could
really use a friend right now.' I didn't believe her but I had to go pick up
BeeBee from your house and Pierce looked like complete shit. "
That hurts my heart that Court looks like shit. I did that to him. "What
happened with Donovan wasn't assault. I never tried to stop him, not
that I liked it or anything, but I never said no. "
Paisley rolls her eyes. "There are other forms of sexual assault. It
doesn't always involve rape. He touched you and you didn't like it.
Annabella said he used GHB on you and that's probably why any of it
happened in the first place. "
I think about the angry way he tried to take my pants off. I think about
how confused I was about the whole thing. I could barely move

my arms and legs. I thought it was because I was drunk but... no that's
not what happened. Donovan wouldn' t hurt anyone like that. He' s a
good man. Well, not completely good since he came on to me. "It wasn'
t like that. He didn't drug me."
Paisley stands up and moves across the room towards me. She crouches
until she's eye to eye with me. "Think about it Rachel. What would
Donovan gain from trying to sleep with you? Think about how much
Court loves you and how devastated he is. Donovan had motive and
you know it. "
"That doesn't make any sense! Why would he try to get back at Court
five years after Court slept with Annabella? He's been with me since
then and he was fucking happy." I close my eyes and block out how
happy we were. "We' ll never be that happy again. "
"This isn't your fault. Rachel, Donovan did this to make Court pay.
Revenge makes people do crazy things and Donovan's had plenty of
time to plan his revenge. He waited until Pierce was secure and happy
before he struck. That's why you're struggling with it. Neither of you
were expecting it and that's what that son of a bitch wanted." She stands
all the way up and moves away from me. "He didn't care about you or
Asher. And we all know he didn't care about Pierce. I just want you to
think on that. You have to see what's really going on here. Not what
your brain is telling you. Listen to your heart." Then she picks up her
bag off the floor and leaves the room.
I still don't believe that Donovan would drug me and try to have sex
with me simply to hurt Court. He could have done something years
ago, he wouldn't wait until now. It just doesn't make any sense.
***
"There she is. See, I told you she didn't run away." I hear his voice in
my sleep and it makes me smile. Court's voice can always make me
smile.
Then I open my eyes and realize he's really here. He stands at my
bedroom door holding our son and looking like hell. He's never been

more handsome to me. Probably because we haven't gone one day
without talking to each other. Unless you count that time I broke up
with him for stupid as hell reasons. We'll just forget that happened.
"What are y'all doing here?" I mumble, sitting up in bed and running
my fingers through my hair.
"Asher thought you ran away and you weren' t ever coming back. He
wouldn' t calm down until I promised to show him you were still in
town." He comes into the room and stops at the end of my bed.
Asher climbs down and onto my bed. His skinny arms wrap around my
body and I use my hand to tangle with his wild hair. Since his Daddy
now refuses to cut his hair, Asher refuses to cut his hair. It's all over the
place and on most days I can't do a thing with it. "Momma I was scared.
You always tuck me in and Daddy said you couldn't today."
I hold back tears and I avoid looking at Court. His eyes will blame me
and I'll start getting depressed all over again. Who am I kidding? I'm
already fucking depressed. "How's about you sleep in here with me
tonight? I could use a bed buddy. It'll help keep the bad dreams away."
"Okay. I'll keep them bad dreams away real good Momma. I promise. "
We lay down and snuggle together. His head is under my chin and I
love his little boy smell. It'll break my heart once he grows up and won't
let me hold him anymore. Children should stay babies all their lives.
Then we wouldn't ever have to watch them move out of the house or get
a girlfriend.
Shudder.
The bed dips again and Court settles in on the other side of Asher. I
look up into his eyes and take a deep swallow. He doesn't look pissed
off at me or even hurt by me either. Though his shoulders are tense but
whose wouldn't be? Your wife cheats on you; you're going to be tense
for a while.
"What are you doing?" I finally ask. I can't take him looking at me
anymore. I know he's not going to yell at me or talk shit about me right
now; our son is in the room. I just dread the day when Asher isn't in the
room.
Court looks away from me but I still feel his eyes. How they pierce my
skin and leave behind sorrow. "Spending the night with my family. I

wouldn't want to be anywhere else."
"Isn't it too much..." I trail off when he finally looks at me with anger.
"No G, it isn't too much. You and I need to talk but it's not going to be
right now. We're both tired, Asher's tired and we'd say shit we didn' t
mean right now. " Then he rolls to his back and closes his eyes after
putting his hands behind his head.
"Okay then," I say, snuggling Asher closer to me. The little bit is
already asleep and snoring softly. This kid could sleep through
anything. There was a pretty bad street war a couple of years ago. I
don't know any details, probably because I'm a chick, but word is
Damien's biker club pissed off the mob. I don't know if that's true but it
was still scary. There were a few car bombs that went off out in the
neighborhood. Asher slept right through it.
That was one of the best and scariest nights. Court huddled us in the
basement and we talked for hours as we listened to the scanner. Asher
slept on a sleeping bag and never once made a peep. I don't think Court
and I have cuddled or talked like that since then.
Don't get me wrong, we still talk and cuddle but that night was
different. It was like we fell in love all over again. Until Royal burst
into the room spitting fire and ranting. He was scared shitless. Not that
I blame him, we were scared too but we didn't really think we were
going to get blown up. And I had absolute faith that Court could protect
us. He could protect anybody.
"Will you sing to me G?" Court whispers. I look over at him and see his
green eyes staring at me. This time it doesn't make me feel awkward or
insecure. It just makes me feel loved. I'll try not to question that right
now.
Then I start singing "I Will Always Love You" by Whitney Houston.
After awhile Court's eyes close but not before his arm reaches over
both Asher and me. Before I know it, his hand is in my pants. Copping
a feel even when we are fighting. Never fails. I laugh out loud, softly,
and I catch the smirk on Court's face.
The pair we make.

"You know the two of you have your own place. I thought for sure I' d
never walk in on my baby boy feeling up his wife, ever again.
Especially with my grandson in the room." I open my eyes and look
towards the door to see Lily standing there with her hands on her hips.
"Ma what are you doing here?" Court mumbles never taking his hand
off my ass. I swear he glued it there.
"I came to make sure the Best Man and Maid of Honor are getting up
on time. And I'm very irritated about this. I went to your house first and
Channing said y' all were here. What in the hell is going on? " She starts
tapping her foot and I seriously want to laugh but I don't.
Court sighs and then his hand leaves my pants, finally. He gets out of
bed wearing only his jeans. At least both of us are more clothed than the
last time she walked in to wake us up. "I can't talk about what's going
on with Asher in the room. And I'm not going to talk about it today
anyway. Wes and Royal are getting married and we don't need any
more drama than is necessary. "
"That's all cryptic and useless. But if what you have to tell me is going
to make me upset, then I guess you should keep it to yourself. " Then
she turns on her heels and flees the room. Probably going to have
coffee with Mom.
I' m not paying attention, so when Court appears over me I almost
screech but I keep it in. "After the wedding is over, you and I are going
to talk. We have some things to discuss and a lot of things to apologize
for. Then you're going to move your shit back to the house and you're
going to sleep in our bed tonight, with me." Then he leans down and
kisses my lips. I'm quite shocked by the whole thing so my mouth is
open and that means his tongue comes right into my mouth. And like
most times I'm kissing this man, my hand reaches up to shift through
his long hair.
He kisses me for what seems like forever. I'm getting kind of hot and
bothered, but that's his point. Court makes it a point to make me hot and
bothered every time he kisses me. Even when we're fighting he

makes the point, like now.
When he's done rocking my world, he lifts his head and looks down at
Asher. "Little man you better get up. Mimi is downstairs with Grammy.
I bet they made pancakes. "
Asher, having the stomach the size of Texas, gets up from the bed so
fast I have to catch him before he face plants the ground. "Careful
there. We don't need a trip to the ER today."
He looks wide-eyed at me and shakes his head. "Yeah, I don't want to
catch that Ebola guy. He sounds scary. "
I almost laugh but I keep it in. When he leaves the room I look at Court.
He's bending over to pick his shirt off the floor. "Yell at Channing, not
me. I never said anything about Ebola to the kid. " Then he himself
leaves the room.
After I get ready in the bathroom and walk downstairs, I find most of
the people who mean the world to me sitting around. Channing, Royal,
Mom and Dad, Lily plus Court and Asher. I sit down at the dining room
table next to Royal and across from my husband.
"I can't believe you're getting married today. Royal Sanders the biggest
player at Meadows. And you're marrying the most prude-like girl you
could find. " I bite my lip to hold back a chuckle when Royal glares at
me. "There's nothing wrong with that. I love Wesley. She's my sister
from another mother. "
"My Duchess is not a prude. If you only knew the things she does to me
in our bedroom." Mom, Dad and me all make sneered faces at him,
almost in sync.
"Royal Duke Sanders, do not ever let me hear you say anything like
that in front of me again. I do realize you're grown and getting married,
but there are things a mother just doesn' t need to hear. " Then she
throws her napkin at him. Got to love my mother.
Then Dad had to go and ruin the joyful feelings around the table. "Lily,
is Donovan going to be joining us this morning? "
You can feel the coldness and tension enter the room. The elephant is
named Donovan and he's the size of the house, so he's crushing us
because there's no room for him in here.
Lily looks around at the four of us. Channing stares at his plate,

Royal clenches his fists on the table and starts tapping his foot, Court
glares daggers at my father like it's his fault Donovan entered the room
in spirit, then there's me, who's sitting here on the verge of tears.
Though my Dad and Mom look slightly pissed off themselves.
Then Lily squints her eyes at me. I look away and start cutting up
Asher' s pancakes. I have to or he' ll get syrup everywhere and I' d never
get it out of his pants.
"Someone better explain to me what the fuck just happened. " Then she
stands up and walks over to Court. She grabs him on the back of the
neck until he stands up. They walk into the living room and it' s my turn
to glare at my father.
"Thanks Dad. Way to ruin the mood," I mutter, crossing my arms over
my chest.
"Nonsense. Someone needed to tell her or that little prick will show up
at the wedding and I'll be shoving my foot up his ass," my dad states
like he's talking about the weather.
"Dad, your grandson is sitting at the table," I say, my eyes wide. Why
are they all acting so weird? I'm the one who needs to be punished, not
Donovan. Well maybe he does, but not like that. We were drunk; we
didn' t know what we were doing. "My entire family has been taken
over by pod people. "
"Nonsense. You're ours, honey. We protect what is ours. And that little
fucking prick is going to get what's coming to him." This comes from
my mother and I have to slap a hand over my face just to make sure I'm
awake. I've never really heard my mom curse, let alone use words like
prick.
"Besides Rach, Asher has heard worse come out of your mouth." Royal
winks at me and chuckles after I smack him on the back of the head.
"It's true Momma. You say bad words all the time. I just pretend to not
hear them, because Daddy said he'd spank my butt if I said them." Then
he goes back to eating his pancakes.
"Y'all need to leave Donovan alone. This is my mistake, not his." And
you can feel the temperature drop after those words leave my mouth.

I don' t think anyone is going to say anything else until Lily starts
yelling in the living room. "Someone should go calm her down, she' s
going to scare Asher," I whisper. Everyone is still looking at me like I
grew a new head and I don't know why. "Why is everyone pissed off I
said that? It's the truth."
"One of these days I'm going to knock some sense into you. When you
wake up from this bizarre place you are in your head, you'll be super
pissed off you said that in the first place." Royal then stands up and
walks into the living room.
My entire family has lost their minds.

Three
Royal
"Are you nervous?" Channing asks me while I stare out the window.
My head is far away from my wedding. It might sound horrible but
marrying Wesley is going to be a breeze. In my head, I always knew we
were going to be together forever. This piece of paper is for the legal
shit. Besides, the wedding is for Wesley, not for me. All I have to do is
show up at the end of the aisle, repeat some words and kiss her. There's
no need for me to be nervous.
"Nope," I say, my mind on Donovan Pierce. Pierce told his mother
what happened and I thought she was going to go right then and kill her
middle child. I've never seen that woman so mad.
Channing paces behind me but I ignore him. He's got to see Paisley
today. At least he got a preview of it yesterday when she showed up at
the house to pick up BeeBee. She even made an appearance at my
parent's house. She earned some brownie points trying to convince
Rachel that she was assaulted, not drunk. I guess we can blame our
father for that. He's stubborn himself and that's where she gets it. "Will
you sit down? She's not going to go out of her way to ruin today."
"I know. It's just been a year since this shit happened to me. It brings
back a lot of bad memories." He looks over at me about the time I turn
around to watch him. "She's all I think about anyway. Then she's
standing in front of me and trying to spurt some bullshit at me about
how it'll always be her and me. How can she even think that?"
"Because she loves you, no matter what she did. You didn't even read
that letter. You burned it, therefore you didn't get to read it.. You won't
talk to her about it either, so I don't know what you want me to

say." And I don't. Yeah I'm seriously pissed off at Paisley but in light of
recent situations, Channing and Paisley seem trivial. So she left him at
the altar. Yeah she should have told him in person she couldn't marry
him, not written him a letter. But is it unforgivable? No it's not. They
can move past it and I honestly think they've both hurt enough for a
lifetime. We all know they are meant to be together.
What happened to my sister makes me realize what a person can
forgive and what he can't. She didn't deserve that and, in all honesty,
Pierce didn't deserve it either. He made amends to his brother. He got
hurt in all that shit himself. Pierce loved Annabella. It wasn't easy for
him to forget it. Then it all came out, what was going on in Annabella' s
head. She wasn't good for either of them and Donovan should have
been thanking Pierce for showing him the light, instead he decides to
bring my sister into it.
This is where it gets iffy to me. Why did Donovan pick Rachel? Did
she do something to him that we are unaware of? It doesn't make sense
why he would hurt her like that unless he had some aggression towards
her himself. I just can't think of anything. They don't really spend much
time together. I know they talked before it happened, but Rachel said
she didn't lead him on and she thought it was friendly, not a tryst.
I guess I could sit here all day and wonder. I could think up every
reason in the book but I wouldn't ever figure it out. We'll just have to
confront him sooner or later. But not today, not on Wesley's day.
"You zoned out real good there buddy." I blink my eyes and Pierce
comes into focus. "You ready to get out there and do this? Or do you
want to daydream some more?" I give him a fuck off look and head
towards the mirror. I straighten my tie and brush some lint off my suit
jacket.
Bentley crashes into the room, a huge-ass hickey on his neck. I grab his
face and turn it towards me and look at the offending thing. "Jesus Ben,
did you have a good time last night?"
He blushes which I find hilarious. I remember when he came out. We
were all a little shocked but not by much. He'd never brought girls
around before and he was secretive about his relationships. Wesley

finally had to sit him down. She told him none of us care if he's gay and
that we'd love him no matter what he preferred in the bedroom. Now
he's got this hotshot lawyer guy he's involved with.
"Sinclair and I got drunk. Things happen, you know." He blushes again
and laughs with the rest of us.
"Your sister probably won't find it funny." I look at Channing who
appears calm and collected but I know underneath that fake exterior he'
s flipping the fuck out. "Channing can you find Rachel or something.
We need to get Ben some concealer. "
Channing nods and leaves the room. "Does Sinclair have one of these?
We'll need to cover him up too. No need to get Jenny upset."
Pierce and I laugh when Bentley looks like he's about to gag. "She
asked me the other day if I'm the man or the woman. I thought I might
have to run from the room screaming. "
Pierce curls up his lip. "That's not a thing you ask a man. Aunt Jenny is
a lawyer though. She likes to pick apart the things that make people do
things. "
"I know. Then she got mad because I told her it wasn't her business. I'll
never hear the end of it."
Rachel and Channing enter the room then, Rachel holding a little tan
stick. "You should be glad I brought the good stuff. Your mom would
shit a brick if she saw you right now. "
"Just get it covered. We have to walk out in like two minutes, " Pierce
states, looking at his watch.
"I'll do it but I'll take my time. If I don't then you'll be able to see it and
there will be even more people upset. Chill your balls. "
Pierce walks up behind Rachel and bumps his hips into hers. "You like
talking back don't you? Sassy little shit." Then he kisses her neck like
he always does.
"Okay I'm done." She ignores Pierce, which he finds funny and she
runs towards me. I'm caught off guard as she launches herself at me. "I
love you so much and I'm so proud of you right now. You go and make
her the happiest woman in the world." Then she kisses my cheek. She
stops at Pierce on her way out. "You know I like to talk back. I always
have to have the last say. It's what makes me the way I am." Then she

kisses him lightly on the lips.
Instantly I perk up even more. Even with all the drama and bullshit,
Rachel and Pierce can find a way to be normal and stay together.
Everything is right in the world.
The four of us head out into the main part of the church and line up in
order by the altar: Me, Channing, Pierce and then Bentley.
"Unconditionally" by Katy Perry starts playing over the speakers and
Paisley walks into the room. Her dress is red with a white slash belt
thing around her waist. Her dress touches the ground as she walks.
You'd think the red would clash with her hair but it doesn't. Her hair is
down and framing her face while her eyes never leave Channing. I feel
him shift around next to me and I instantly smile.
Ashley walks out next, her black hair pushed back out of her face and
flowing down her back. Her dress is almost identical to Paisley' s
except hers stops at her knees. She winks at her husband who's sitting
about the middle of the room.
Rachel comes out next in the same dress except hers has a tail, not too
long but it's there. The dress also raises in the front to about her knees.
Her brown hair is pulled up but she has a few curls falling down around
her face.
She winks at me when she gets to us and I help her up the stairs. I kiss
her hand before I let her go and I see tears come to her eyes. It's all I can
do not to become a pussy and start crying myself.
When my Duchess walks out I stop breathing. She didn't tame all that
wild curly hair like I thought she would. It's down by her face and she
beams at me from the end of the aisle. It takes everything inside of me
to stop from running down the aisle to meet her halfway. I can' t believe
this beautiful goddess is going to actually marry me. I don' t know what
I did to earn this or what I could ever do to deserve her, but I ' m so
fucking happy that she is mine.
Her dress is off white and falls to the floor. The skirt is puffy while the
bodice fits tightly. I hope she can breathe in that thing. The skirt is also
covered in red hearts that match the bridesmaid dresses and the
headband in her hair.
When she sees Trey's picture, the one I had made, sitting off to the

side she instantly bursts into tears. She picks up her dress, much to
Grayson's surprise, and starts running towards me. I step down the
stairs to catch her while she flings herself at me. "Shh, Duchess.
Everyone's going to think we've lost our minds," I whisper in her ear.
"Did you bring him here?" When I nod she cries a little harder. "He
would have loved this. Thank you so much. "
"I'd do anything for you, Wesley. Anything at all." Without Trey this
girl would never be as wonderful as she is. He is as much a part of her
as I am. "Now, let's get married before these people start to riot."
I smile at Grayson when I hand Wesley back to him. The priest has a
bright smile on his face when Wesley and I both turn to him. "We are
gathered here today to bring Royal Duke Sanders and Wesley Ann
Bridges together in holy matrimony..."
I hear what's going on and I say what I'm supposed to when I'm
supposed to. When he says I can kiss my bride, I do. With tongue and
all. We don't stop until Channing whispers in my ear how we are
making everyone uncomfortable.
When I pull away all I can do is look into her eyes. "Hello, Mr. Wesley
Ann Bridges," she says, making everyone around us laugh.
"Hello, Mrs. Royal Duke Sanders," I reply, nuzzling my nose against
hers. "I love you so fucking much. I'm so happy we did this."
She lightly pecks my lips and backs away a step. I don't let her get far.
"Me too. Now let's go get some cake." Then she drops my hand and
races out of the church.
I happen to catch Pierce's eye and he shakes his head. He walks over to
Rachel and offers his arm. She looks unsure but I think I hear him
growl at her and she quickly accepts. Channing walks up to me and
throws his arm around my shoulders. "I remember when you used to
have a different girl in your bed every week. Now you' ll have to get by
with just one. "
I huff. "I'll pretend you didn't say any of that because I know you're just
being a little bitch." Then I punch him in the stomach. Not hard, it' s
more like a love tap.
He drops his arm with a laugh and we head to leave out of the church
and walk over to the reception area. "I' m surprised you didn' t

write Wesley a song to sing today." He sticks his hands in his pockets,
giving him a relaxed look but I know he's anything but relaxed. Not
with Paisley here.
I shake my head. "I've written her enough songs to fill up two CDs. It's
no longer new and original. Hell, I'm not even going to sing today. It' s
my wedding, I get to relax. No standing up in front of a hundred people
and performing." After Juilliard the performing has lost its spark. I just
don't enjoy it anymore. That's why I'm glad I never listened to my mom
about becoming the next Justin Beiber. I'd rather spend my time with
kids, teaching them about the instruments that I love. Music is
everywhere and in everything we do. That's why I took the Meadows
teaching position. Now I get to teach little kids about music whenever I
want. It doesn't hurt that my new wife is also teaching History at the
same place. Well, she's at the high school and I'm in elementary but it's
in the same general area.
"I guess that's a good thing. I don't think any of us could handle another
song about how much you love Wes. It's starting to make you look like
a girl." Channing smirks at me and shrugs his shoulders. The prick.
I smack him on the shoulder but I don't say anything. A year ago we
would mess around and say insulting things about the way we loved
our women. I can't do that to him anymore. He doesn't deserve to be
reminded of a time when Paisley made him happy. Everyone says you
should cherish the times you spent with the person you loved when
they are no longer around. That's true if they passed away. Paisley
walked out of Channing's life with only a letter. She didn't even explain
to him why she did what she did. I read the letter, shortly after Lily had
to knock his ass out with a drug cocktail. Paisley told him she loved
him but she couldn't go through with it. She went on to say it was her
and not him, that it could never be him. He was perfect and she was the
one with issues. I don't think the girl stopped to think for one second
what she was doing. But that's Paisley for you. When it came to
Channing, she didn' t think about things, she just charged head on.
In the end, she hurt him more than he could ever hurt her. I didn't
understand the problem to begin with. Considering he thought
rainbows

shot out of her ass. Once upon a time I thought she was hot and I
wanted to do her but that was for one second and before I saw how
Channing looked at her.
The thing I love the most about Channing is the way he lets people in.
He lets them in slowly, takes his time getting a feel for them. That' s
what he did with Paisley and that's what he did with me. We might have
been five but even at five Channing was more mature than anyone at
that age should be. He had to be though, what with the mother he had.
That woman scared the shit out of me up until the day she died. I don't
like to speak ill of the dead but that woman is rotting in hell for the shit
she did to Channing. And sometimes I wish I'll be going to hell so I can
spit on her, since I never got to do it while she was alive.
"Since the groom has just graced us with his presence, please come join
your bride on the dance floor. I don't have all day, sir!" Chutney shouts,
her voice vibrating the speaker next to my ear. I wince and laugh.
I grab Channing's shoulder and make him look me in the eye. "Stay
away from Paisley. You don't need that shit. I know how hard it is for
you, even after a year. Getting up to your old tricks with her is going to
set you back. And I don't think I can relive what you went through."
He takes a deep swallow and nods his head. I turn towards the wedding
reception.
"Don't get your panties into a bunch there girl!" I shout over the crowd,
striding towards Wes in her beautiful gown.
"You, kind sir, shall not speak about my underwear. That's just rude."
Chutney's blonde hair is down around her shoulders and she has her
hands on her hips. "You hear that babe? Royal's talking about my
underwear! "
I frantically look around for Chutney's tall, dark and deadly husband.
You don't want to fuck with that guy. Even if I had all the guys at this
wedding standing behind me, I'd still be scared to death. So would
Chutney's family and I'm pretty sure that's why they let him marry her.
Chutney is Ashley's sister-in-law. Meaning Chutney's older brother,
Damien, is vice president of a motorcycle club. That means Chutney's
got a ton of over-protective dudes constantly watching her. Poor girl.

Chutney' s husband raises his glass towards me and smiles. It' s not
mean or predatory so I smile back and raise my hand in greeting.
I take Wesley' s hand and put my other around her waist. Her hand goes
to my shoulder and she beams up at me. "Are we going to Waltz?
Yay! "
I laugh as Chutney starts to sing some slow song I haven' t heard
before. That' s unusual considering how much I love music. Chutney
loves it more and probably knows every song ever created. Every band
ever formed too.
"You look so fucking beautiful, Duchess. " I lean forward to whisper in
her ear, making sure my lips touch the shell. "I wanna eat you
up."
I bring my head back and watch as she blushes and bites her lip. "You
are so bad, Royal. I swear I can't take you anywhere."
"I can't help myself. You get me going and all you have to do is stand
there." She laughs and places her head on my shoulder as the song
changes. I don't even listen to it; I just want to hold my wife in my
arms. "You really are though. Most beautiful fucking person on this
earth, and you're all mine."
"I don't deserve the shit you say to me. I feel like a school girl on her
first date every time." She rubs her face against my chest and I know
she's trying to hold her tears in.
I hold her tighter even though her hair is tickling my nose. "You
deserve every thing I say to you. And probably more but I am only one
man."
We dance for a while in silence just holding onto each other. I don' t
notice the people dancing around us, or which song Chutney is singing.
I just hold Wesley and pray to God I get to spend every day for the rest
of my life with her.
"Do you think Pierce and Rachel will be okay?" Wesley whispers into
my chest.
I smooth my hand over the small of her back, trying to relieve the stress
I feel there. "I think your cousin is the only person on this earth who can
get Rachel to do anything. So I'm positive they will work everything
out. And I'm also positive I'll be helping him bury

Donovan's body."
"I can't believe Donovan did this. He used to be so happy and carefree.
I remember that about him, clearly. What the fuck went wrong?" She
sniffs and I know she's on the verge of tears. I've had to chase more
tears then I would like off this girl's face because of her family.
"Annabella. " She pulls her head away from my chest and looks up at
me. "I mean, look what she did to Ashley and Victor. Whether or not
she's changed over the years, she still destroyed a lot of people."
"Well I'm sure glad she's changed. Considering she married the mob
boss of Dallas, she could have all of us killed in our sleep and we
wouldn't even know it." She follows that statement with a shiver and I
almost burst out laughing.
"Duchess, Sage wouldn't do anything to piss off Damien or any of the
Wrath's. And having us killed would really piss off Ashley. Nobody
wants her knocking on their door pissed off and looking for blood. "
She chuckles and pulls out of my arms as the song ends. "Okay, we
seriously need to stop talking about this shit. Let's go mingle before my
mother shows up and makes us. "
That's how I end up following my wife around as she talks to every
single person at our wedding. Some I don't mind talking to but others I
would have rather died. Like Great Aunt Agatha. That woman feels up
my butt every time she sees me. And Wes thinks it's funny.
After a while we end up seated at our table with pieces of cake in front
of us. Wesley and I can't stop messing around but my mom should have
expected that. We mess around constantly; it's what we do.
Channing finally brings it to an end by standing up to give his Best Man
speech. He wasn't worried about standing up in front of all these people
and telling them how much he loves me. We have a strong bromance
and it won't be denied.
"I've known Royal since I was five years old. And for every year since
then there isn't a memory I don't cherish involving Royal. He's always
been my best friend. He's also the best friend anyone on this planet
could have. He's brave, loyal, full of life and knows just what to do to
bring me out of my shell and face the world." He turns from the

crowd and looks at Wesley and I. "I remember the day he told me about
Wesley. We were in the locker room after swim team practice. He
looked at me and said 'She takes my breath away and I don't know what
I'd do without her.'" He faces the crowd again holding up his
champagne glass. "I know how that feels and I' m so incredibly happy
these two decided to spend the rest of their lives together. No one
deserves a happy ending more than these two. So congratulations
Wesley Sanders, you're stuck with his goofy ass now!" Then he takes a
sip out of his glass and every one follows.
He sounds happy and carefree but I know he' s not. I know he' s hurting
and I can't do a thing to stop it. I can't do a thing to change how he feels
about Paisley. I wish I could take it all away.

Channing
I wake up with my head pounding. There's a body next to me and I keep
my eyes closed because I know I can't look at her. I can't believe what I
did last night. What the hell is wrong with me?
Does it make me a bastard that I want to run from this room without
even acknowledging her? But then I want to stay and hold her because I
know it'll feel good. I missed the way she felt next to me. I missed the
way she smells and how soft her skin is.
I feel her move against me and I pop my eyes open. Her blue-green
ones are the first thing I see, staring straight into mine. Her red hair is
wild and my fingers itch to flatten it down. God how I missed how she
looks in the morning after we fucked all night.
I move quickly before I fall back into old habits. Once I stand up, her
hand grabs mine. I don't want to turn around and look at her but I do.
There's a force I can't see stringing us together. When my eyes meet
hers again she says, "Stay. "
How did I even end up in this situation?
***
I think I've had two glasses of champagne and three whiskey sours. I'm
working on my fourth. I'll need a lot more before this night is over
considering the bane of my existence is here and she won't stop looking
at me.
When I first met her, I used to stare at her all the time. I didn't
understand what was wrong with me. I felt like a fucking stalker and I
knew I was on the verge of being just that. I had wanted her and I
fought that so hard. I used to move through the hallways at school like
a shadow and watch as she left her class. She was so introverted at that

point she didn't even notice. Hell, I think she's still introverted. I don't
think she could ever change that. She doesn' t like attention so she
pretends it' s not there. She got so good at pretending, she really didn' t
notice anything.
I feel like the stalked now. Her eyes follow me everywhere I go. Talking
to Pierce about Donovan. Dancing with Rachel. Sitting in the corner
playing a game with Asher. Every time I go to the bar her eyes are on
me. No one says anything about it, but they all know. Rachel has that
look in her eyes, the one that means she' s about to go off on someone.
She' s pissed off on my behalf and I don' t have the heart to tell her I can
handle the bitch.
I' m the only person who could ever handle her.
After three hours of her staring at me, I decide I can' t handle it
anymore. I throw back the rest of my whiskey and I stalk towards her.
She looks surprised when I grab her arm and yank her towards the
back of the room. Then I lead her out into the empty hall.
She leans against one side and I lean against the opposite side. Then
we just stare at each other. It's been a little over a year and I can't think
of what to say to her. It' s like we know each other but we don' t. It
makes me think of when we first met. I didn' t know what to say to her
then either.
"Why did you bring me out here?" she asks, crossing her arms over her
chest. Not because she' s mad, no, she' s turned on. She doesn' t like for
people to notice her pebbled nipples. In a few more seconds she' ll
tighten her thighs and she' ll be thinking about getting a new pair of
panties.
I shrug my shoulders. That' s when I see the anger twinkle in her eyes.
Now she' s thinking of hitting me while I watch her tighten her thighs.
We are creatures of habit. This is habit for us if nothing else. Fighting,
getting angry and then finding somewhere to fuck because that' s what
we do. Even when we were unbelievably happy that' s what we did.
I hate how much I miss her.
"You know, if you want to talk, then you have to speak. I know you.
There's always something you want to say. " She uncrosses her arms
and

I feel it straight to my groin because her nipples are hard. They strain
against her dress and I want to pull the fabric down and suck one of the
pink pretties into my mouth.
I shrug again. She wouldn' t talk to me a year ago, wouldn' t explain
why she left. There' s no reason why I should talk to her now. I want to
torture her for some reason. The thing about that though is I' m
torturing myself just by being in her presence.
The tension pings against the walls around us. It' s in the air and you
can actually feel it, it' s pulling us together. It has always bound us
together. What we felt for each other was more than love. We are and
will always be soul mates. She and I are one and it kills me inside.
When I just needed her to love me, talk to me, she couldn' t do it. I don'
t trust her and I hate her while I' m more in love with her than I' ve ever
been before.
It' s probably all the alcohol or maybe it' s just her, but I cross the
hallway and I get in her space. I look down to watch her clench her fists
against the wall. We don' t touch but our eyes lock and this feels all too
familiar.
Her hands come up and land on my chest. It' s like an electrical cord
shocked me. I almost groan. I haven' t felt a woman' s touch in a year. I
haven' t even tried to feel anyone but her since the day I met her. When
she lifts up on her toes I know what she' s going to do. Her lips touch
mine and chill bumps break out all over my body. My dick immediately
stands at attention.
I don' t kiss her back though. I just stand there. I want to hear her say it.
I know she wants me, she knows I want her. We' ve done this so many
times, played this game with each other. This time is different though.
This is the last time. "Kiss me, " she whispers and I finally do. Sinking
my tongue into her warm mouth I slam her into the wall, meshing our
lips together.
My hands reach down to pull her dress up around her hips. Her hands
go right for my pants. The button comes undone then the zipper comes
down. Her panties get pushed down. She steps out of them and I drop to
the floor on my haunches. My hand moves her right leg over my
shoulder so I can shove my face into her. I use my other hand to grab
her

panties off the floor. They get shoved into my pocket while my tongue
plays around her clit. I missed this and how much she loves it. Her
hands sink into my hair and I do groan. It' s the little things you miss
when you can' t be with the one you love.
For a girl who' s so prudish outside of bed, you' d think she' d notice we
are doing this in a public place where anyone could walk out and see
us. I didn 't even lock the door that opens into the hallway.
I shove my tongue into her slick channel and that' s all it takes, she's
shooting off like a rocket. She grinds her sex into my face, muffling her
moans with her other hand. I want to laugh and tell her she' s not
helping but I don' t. We aren' t going to be playful. This is strictly to
scratch an itch. One I've had for a year and she's the only one with
nails long enough to reach.
I stand up and stare down at her. Her face is flushed and she' s panting.
Her hand reaches for my junk and she shoves my pants down around
my thighs. My dick reaches out towards her and we both look down at
it. Then we both move at once. She wraps her arms around my neck and
my hands slide down to her ass so I can hold her against me.
I' m not gentle. I don' t think I' ve ever been gentle when it comes to
Paisley. I shove into her, hard. We both groan and I can' t believe how
tight she is. It' s like sticking my dick into a virgin. Which means she
hasn't had sex in a really long time. Probably not since we had sex last.
She grinds while I thrust, our mouths fused together. I make her taste
herself and that seems to make her grind harder. God that feels so
fucking good. We don't speak as Ifuck her into the wall.
Then I do something I never thought I would do again. I place my
forehead on hers and stare into her eyes. It isn' t long before I feel her
inner walls clutching against my dick. The tingle starts in my lower
back and before long it's so good, I see nothing but white light.
When I come back down she' s still wrapped around me. Her hand sinks
in and out of my hair. I find my mouth against her neck and I' m pissed
at myselffor that. There was only one time I lost control of myself and I
bit her too hard. That night we fucked on her car. The first time we ever
had sex and she ran from me like the hounds of hell were at her heels.

I felt like a freak then. I felt so low; like I'd done something to her that
she didn' t want. I don' t think she realized that, not even after it
happened. That she hurt me more in that moment then she ever has
since. Not even when she left me last year. And that says something.
This time though it' s my turn to run. I set her down gently before
tucking my dick back into my pants. At least this time she didn' t pop all
the buttons off my shirt. Before I can turn and run, she grabs my hand.
I look back at her and she says the one thing I' d never thought I' d hear
her say. Not after she broke my heart. "Come home with me. "
I start to open my mouth to tell her to fuck off but she stops me. "Just for
tonight. " She pulls me along until we get to the back of the building.
She leads me through the door and then quickly over to her Camaro.
I find myself in the driver' s seat while she takes the passenger. She
always hated someone driving her car and I only got to drive it on
special occasions. I don' t think about that right now though. I just
drive it to her house. Or the guesthouse behind her grandparent's
house. I see Brody's SUV in the main driveway. He must have left the
reception early. Lola's having a baby soon and they have her on bed
rest. Poor girl. This is their third child. Here' s hoping they don' t have
anymore after this.
Paisley gets out and walks towards the guesthouse. It hasn' t changed
any since we lived in it together. Henry, I think, always kept it the same
in case Paisley ever wanted to come home. I guess he had a point there
considering she did come home.
Only problem is she left me behind.
I get out of the car and Paisley rounds the vehicle only to grab my hand
and pull towards the house. Once we enter the living room she opens
her mouth to speak but I stop her with my hand. "No talking. That isn't
what this is. " Then I pick her up and carry her into the bedroom.
***
"Stay," she says.

I debate it in my head for a few minutes. Last night shouldn't have
happened. That' s what she does to me, makes me forget all the shit that
happened between us. I know we'll always be drawn together, that's
what happens when you love someone with all your heart. No matter
what she's done to me, I know she loved me once, with all her heart.
Images fly through my head of last night. Her riding me hard, her head
thrown back, her breasts bouncing right in my face. Her red hair in my
hands while she stared into my eyes when she came. The heat of her
mouth wrapped around my dick and the sound of her moans while I
fucked her into the bed.
Then I get a different set of images. The look on Margret's face when
she brought me the letter. The shape of the church after my breakdown.
The total destruction of my life. Sad faces standing over me, Wesley in
tears because she can't handle it when anyone is sad. Lily smoothing
her hand over my face, calming me down.
I yank my hand away from Paisley, hard. I start grabbing up my
clothes, pulling them on without looking at her. I know what she' ll see.
The same look on my face from a year ago. I know it makes me a
fucked up individual that I like that. I want to hurt her. I want her in
pain, to feel what I felt. Rejection is a disease inside of me and I won't
rest until she's got the same thing.
"Channing..." She trails off but I still don't look at her. If I look at her
I'll stay and I don't need that. I shouldn't have let last night happen. I
know better. Her magic vagina, the absolute beauty of her actually, it's
all a trap designed to make you stay.
" Make me, Channing. Make me fall. Push me, shove me, just make
sure I get there. " Those words she spoke to me so long ago, they still
stay with me. But I'm no longer that guy; I won't make her do anything.
And she sure as fuck won't make me do anything.
I finally get all my clothes on and I storm out of the house. Though I
come up short when I find a huge German Shepard standing in my way.
Maggie.
She sits on her butt with her tongue hanging out. She gives me a bark in
greeting and I scratch behind her ears. I wish I had time to love on her.
This dog has been a part of my life for so long, it's been weird

not having her around the past year. I missed the shit out of her.
I walk around her and head towards Richard's house. Hoping with all
my might that Margret isn't standing at the kitchen sink watching me
leave Paisley's house. I don't really care anyway. It'll just be awkward
when I refuse to talk about it or acknowledge that it even happened.
When my phone starts ringing I groan. I look down at the screen and let
out a breath of relief. It's only Pierce. I swipe the screen to answer and
put it up to my ear. "What's up?"
"I'm going over to Van's today. You want to head over there with me
later?" I hear a pan slam down in the background. Must be cooking
something.
I' m not surprised when my stomach growls. I hardly ate anything
yesterday and after all the sex, I'm sure I've worked up an appetite.
"Yeah I want to go. Can I call you back though? I'm kind of trekking
through the woods right now." I hear my slacks rip on a branch and let
out a curse. The path has gotten overgrown since I no longer travel it
every day.
There's a pause on the phone and I wonder what he's thinking. "Why
are you trekking through the woods? And what woods would this
be?"
"I really don't want to talk about it. Like ever," I grumble, swatting
limbs out of my way. Maggie barks behind me but I ignore her.
"So you're going to tell me you're trekking through the woods at an
early hour and that you don't want to talk about it. Now in my head, I'm
seeing you trek through the woods behind your stepdad's house. The
dog barking has to be Maggie; I'd know that sound anywhere. Which
means you're leaving Margret's house." I hear the pan slam again and
then something beeps. "I can't believe I'm going to ask this because I
can't be right." He takes a deep breath and lets it out. "Did you fuck
Paisley last night?"
"I said I didn't want to talk about it. What part of that didn't you
understand?" I hate him and I love him. I've felt this way about him
most of my life. Always getting into my business yet staying a good
distance because he knows I need it. Fucking asshole.
He laughs in my ear and I find myself sneering. "Look, I'm not

going to lie, I think you're a fucking idiot. But a couple of days ago, I
was a pretty big idiot and now my wife will barely speak to me. And it'
s not because it's my fault, no it's because she thinks everything is her
fault. I'm not going to judge you, lil bro. I'm just simply concerned
about your well being. "
I sigh and make my way out of the woods to face Richard's house. The
house where my mother died, the house where I was raised. The house
holds all my best and worst memories of my childhood. Luckily I only
see the good stuff. I know my mom can't hurt me anymore. "I'm fine. If
you really want to know, I think she's way more upset than I am. I kind
of acted like a dick this morning."
"What else is new? You're always acting like a dick." He covers the
phone with something and his next words are muffled. I can only
assume he is saying something to Asher. "Did you leave without giving
her a happy ending? That sounds like something you would do," he
asks when he uncovers the phone.
I sit down on the front steps and hold the phone to my ear while I look
down at myself. My clothes are wrinkled and a sniff of my pits
confirms I need a long, hot-ass shower. "I gave her plenty of happy
endings. But that's besides the point. I just left without talking to her
once. I probably made her feel cheap, which I can't bring myself to care
about."
"Well, she did leave you at the altar. I think you making her feel like a
whore is a good payback. It's not like you actually paid her." He
chuckles and covers the phone again.
"Why do you keep doing that?" I ask when he comes back on.
"Asher is eating breakfast and he keeps asking me what I'm talking
about. I told him a whore is a bad woman with no morals. He wanted to
know if I was talking to Aunt Wesley or Aunt Paisley." He chuckles
again.
"That's fucked up dude." I scrub a hand over my face trying to clear
some of the hangover. Unfortunately it doesn't work.
"I made sure to tell him neither Wes or Paisley are whores. He's five
years old, he doesn't understand anything I say to him."
I shake my head. "I'm going to head into Richard's and get a ride

home. I'll see you later."
Regret. It's a force inside of me I don't want. I hate the way it makes me
feel. I want to go back so badly and hold onto Paisley like the world is
about to end. But then again I don't want anything to do with her.
The door opens behind me and I turn to see Diana. She married Richard
about three years ago. She's got a kid herself but he's seven and doesn't
like me very much. It's probably because I don't come around enough
for him to get to know me.
"I thought you might like some of this." She hands me a pink coffee cup
with a skull and crossbones on the front. "Sorry about the cup, Richard
doesn' t drink coffee so all my cups are girly. " She nudges me in the
shoulder and laughs.
I sip at the drink staring off into space. "I'm sorry I don't come to see
Richard much. I think life has gotten away from me the past year. "
"Broken hearts will do that to you." She brings her cup up to her lips
and looks at me out of the corner of her eye. "Richard isn't here this
weekend. He had to fly out to New York for some business. He'll be
back Sunday evening, if you want to come to dinner. "
I nod. I liked Diana the moment I met her. She didn't force herself into
my space like some of Richard's girlfriends. She kept her distance until
I was ready to let her in.
"You might want to look into getting some cover up. I don't know how
you're going to explain all those love bites to Richard or Margret. If
they find out it was Paisley, they might get their hopes up." She reaches
over and slides her hand gently against my back. It's soft and
comforting.
I shake my head. "I don' t care if they know it was Paisley. They have
no reason to get their hopes up. I made it pretty clear to her I wasn' t
interested in getting back together. I was just scratching an itch. "
She laughs and I have to look at her with both eyebrows raised. "You
are funny. Channing, you and that girl will get back together. It might
not be today and it might not be in three months. But I know it will
happen. "
"How do you know that, oh wise one. "

She looks into my eyes, her way of saying you better listen to what I'm
saying or I'll beat you up. "Because neither of you moved on in the past
year. She hasn't looked at another man since the day she met you. I
know I wasn't here then, but I've heard the stories from Margret and
Richard. Not to mention Henry, who had a front row seat to it all. "
I sigh and shake my head. "That's not proof."
"Oh dear boy. It's all the proof you need. Neither of you will ever be
happy without the other. You can't even bring yourself to sleep with
anyone else, not even for one night. You don't need all the time in the
world to understand that." She pats my back and stands up. "Besides,
she only stayed away because she saw what you did to that church. She
couldn't bring herself to hurt you any more than she already had. But
where your destruction was on the outside, hers was just as bad on the
inside."
I don't know what to do with that information. It doesn't excuse the fact
she humiliated me in front of both our families. She could have talked
to me beforehand, and she didn't because she was scared. That I don' t
understand at all. Why would she be afraid to talk to me about it? I
would never hurt her and I wouldn't leave her just because she didn't
want to get married. I thought she wanted it, that's why it was
happening. Yet I was left to pick up the pieces.
Maybe I' m just meant to be miserable for the rest of my life.

Rachel
I stare down at the little stick. I can't seem to look away or blink. One
little plus sign and my entire life gets turned around. I can no longer
drink any alcohol or take a puff off of one of Channing's joints. Not that
he smokes much but sometimes he needs to actually sleep and he
doesn' t like sleeping pills.
Seriously, don't tell anyone I told you that.
At least this time around I don't have to worry about telling my parents
because I was a dumb teenager and had sex before I was married.
Though I'm not really in a strong relationship right now because I'm a
fucking idiot.
Asher will be happy. He's been asking for a little brother for months
now. Court and I have been trying to have another kid for years but it
never seemed the right time. His school was in the way or he was
always traveling. I think I forgot to take my birth control during the
weeks I was living in a fog of my own despair.
Hell, it took me a month to realize I hadn' t had a period. I mean, who
doesn' t pay attention to that? How clueless am I? It makes me wonder
what else I' ve overlooked because I couldn' t live with what I' d done.
This poor baby is going to be brought into a world where their Daddy
doesn't love their Mommy.
I reach for my phone on the bathroom counter. It sits next to the
pregnancy test. I want to call Court and tell him but I'm afraid he will be
upset about it. I mean, what if he wants a divorce after everything that's
happened? I know he's been generally nice to me since it all happened,
but Court is a great guy. Besides, we have to put on a front for Asher.
I remember the day I found out I was pregnant with him. I was in too
much shock to tell Paisley and Wesley not to get the guys involved. I
just couldn't open my mouth and tell them who the baby's father was. I
remember just sitting there freaking out in my head. I knew though,
deep

in my soul, that Court wouldn't abandon me. I always thought he was
an asshole but in reality, he has the best heart out of all of us. He's also
been through the most and had to live with a whole hell of a lot more
sadness. Besides, he loved Annabella Gage, you'd have to have a
seriously amazing heart to do that. I know I couldn't overlook her
faults.
I remember hearing his voice while I was in the bathroom at Paisley's,
crying because of the mess I'd gotten myself into. When Wesley told
me it was him, my beating heart went into overdrive. I swear I thought
I was going to have a heart attack. Then they made me go out there, in
front of my brother, my then boyfriend Kellan, Channing and Court. I
called him Pierce then, like everyone else. But ever since I fell in love
with him, Court was the only thing that sounded right.
Paisley was getting ready to explain it in a speech none of us wanted to
hear, so Wesley just blurted it out. I remember the sound of the glass
dropping in the kitchen, where Court was standing. I knew he knew. I
didn't have to explain it to him. He could feel it like I could. Not that
there was a chance Kellan was the father. We always used condoms
and none of them ever broke.
Then I had to explain in front of everyone because Royal was about to
beat the shit out of Kellan. Drama seems to follow me wherever I go.
Royal still hit Court and spit in his face. He also gave him hell for a
while. I didn't really blame him; I mean he's always been protective of
me. Add in the fact the "enemy" knocked me up, it's a wonder Court is
even alive today.
This time around things should be way different. I can tell him without
everyone looking at me. In private, there's so much more you can say,
you don't have to hide behind walls when it's just you and him. If
anything is left between us, I know it's his understanding of that. We
don't have to be other people when it's us.
The phone rings twice before he answers. "What's up, G? I have to run
an errand, but after that you want to grab some lunch?"
It confuses me that he doesn't seem mad about this whole situation
anymore. He seems to be fine with it, at least when he talks to me. It' s
kind of driving me crazy. "Umm maybe. I have to tell you something. "
"Look, I know in your crazy uncontrollable head you think you did

something wrong, but you didn't. I know you inside and out Rach.
You'd never do that to me unless you were drugged. I don't know why
you can't see that. You're the smartest person I know." I hear a door
shut and his breathing pick up. I can only guess he's jogging down the
stairs at our house. "I love you. I love you so much it hurts and I'll wait
forever for you to figure it out, babe. Just know I'm never leaving you
and you aren' t leaving me. "
I close my eyes to stop the tears building up in them. I don't want them
to fall because I'm tired of crying and I don't want him to hear them. He
wouldn't understand. "I'm pregnant," I whisper when he takes a breath
between words.
I can feel him stop and I can hear that his breathing has.
"Wh-what?"
"I' m pregnant," I repeat, stronger now.
"How...are you sure?" I can imagine his eyebrows pinched together in
disbelief. My poor Court.
I nod but then I remember he can't see me. "Yes. I took three tests. They
all came back positive. I'm further along now then when I found out
about Asher. I haven't been paying attention to my periods."
There is silence and that's when I start crying. I knew he wouldn't be
happy about it. I knew it wouldn't solve all my problems, but I was
hoping. I was hoping so hard that everything would turn out great.
"G, stop crying."
"No. You aren't happy about this. It's not the answer to all my problems
like I wanted it to be." I cry hard while holding the phone to my ear. I
know I' m probably crying over the whole thing and it' s probably going
to electrocute me. I deserve it.
I hear him sigh; I hate it when he does that. "G, baby. I'm so fucking
happy about this. You can' t even begin to understand. I just know you
aren' t in the right place in your head and that makes everything harder
on me. But if you weren' t difficult, you wouldn' t be you. And I love
you and only you. "
"I don't deserve you. I love you too." And I do. If I had Aaron
Taylor-Johnson, Channing Tatum and Brad Pitt standing next to Court,
I' d pick him every time. No one else in this world can compare to him.

Ever.
"No Rachel, I don't deserve you." I hear him open his car door and then
his voice gets muffled but I can still hear what he's saying. "Rach just
found out she's pregnant. I need to head over there instead of going
to Van' s. "
There's another voice but I can't tell who it is. Most likely it's Channing,
since those two are usually thick as thieves. Most days I can' t pull them
apart. I love it though; brothers should always be a huge part of your
life. Well, any sibling really, since I only have a brother, it's the first
thing I thought of.
"G, Channing and I are coming over. Don't tell your parents yet; I want
to be there. In fact, I' m gonna call Ma and get her over there too. " He
laughs but I assume it's at something Channing said. Court has such a
great laugh. "I love you, G. This is a good thing. I'll see you in a bit."
I find myself smiling but I'm not sure why. "Okay. See you soon. Oh
and I love you too. "
Ten minutes after our call I descend downstairs to find Lily sitting in
the living room with Mom and Dad. Dad used to work all the time but
in the past five years he's slowed down. He won't talk about it but I
think he's got arthritis in his hands. I see him massaging them and he
has some serious painkillers in his medicine cabinet.
Lily stands up when I enter the room and crosses over to me.
"Congratulations! I'm so excited!" Then she hugs me tight with one
hand on my flat belly.
When she pulls away I look at her confused. "How did you know?"
She rolls her eyes and leads me over to the couch to sit next to Mom.
"The last time Courtney called me to come over here, nine months later
we had Asher. I'm not an idiot."
Then my little boy comes running out of the kitchen with a huge glass
of milk. "Asher Pierce! Stop running in the house and with a drink! " I
stand up and grab him around the waist before he smacks right into the
table.
"Sorry Mommy, I just got so excited! " Then he does a little dance. I' m
guessing he learned that one from Wesley. The poor boy has no
rhythm. "I' m gonna be a big brother! "

I chuckle at him and smooth a hand over his head. "Yeah you are. Let's
hope it's a girl this time." Then I wink at him.
He scrunches up his nose at me. "No, I want a brother. That way we can
sneak around behind your back like Dad and Uncle Channing. And we
can be the best of friends like them too! "
"What do you mean they sneak around behind my back?" I raise both
my eyebrows at him and his cheeks turn red.
"Oops. I wasn't supposed to tell you that. Don't tell Dad, okay? I don't
want him to be mad at me." Then he gives me the puppy dog eyes he
thinks work so well. "They only sneak beer when I'm supposed to be
asleep and you aren't home. They don't give me any no matter how
much I ask. "
I choke back a laugh. "Well next time, you tell them I'm going to spank
them and send them to time out. You should be asleep when they are
drinking. It sets a bad example. "
"No it doesn't. Dad told me if I touch a beer before I'm twenty-one he'll
lock me in my room until I'm fifty. I'll only get to eat bologna
sandwiches and drink water. That's a long time Mommy and I don't like
bologna sandwiches." He grins at me and sets his glass down on the
table. "He also told me I wasn't aloud to touch a girl until I'm thirty-five
unless I want to sit down and tell her parents we're physically active.
He told Uncle Channing he had to tell your parents about me and it was
the scariest thing ever. But I don't know what physically active means."
His eyes squint at me and he taps his finger on his chin. "Is that what
happens when you close the door to your room and you make all those
'oohhhh' and 'ahhhh' noises?"
My parents, plus Lily, burst out laughing. Leave it to my parents to
think this is funny. "I think Daddy is going to be in a lot of trouble when
he gets here." I pull him into my lap and stick my nose in his hair. "I
love you so much little man. "
"I love you too Mommy. To the sun and back! " When the front door
opens he scrambles down off my lap and races out of the room. We can
hear his excited chatter in the hallway and all I can do is roll my eyes.
Channing, Court and Asher come into the room. I give a tentative

smile to Court while Asher runs back over to the table. "I guess
everyone knows, since Asher does," Channing says, taking a seat next
to Lily. She pulls him into a side hug and ruffs up his hair.
"While their news is exciting, we have to wait nine months. You on the
other hand have a lovely hickey on the side of your neck." She squints
her eyes at him and I realize that's where Asher got it from. Plus, he
looks just like her when he does it. "You want to tell me where you got
that from?"
"He got physically active with Aunt Paisley last night," Asher states
calm as day from his side of the table.
Six heads turn his way. "And how did you know that?" I cough out,
staring at him wide eyed.
He takes a big gulp of his milk and looks at me. "I saw them kissing in
the hallway. Aunt Paisley had her legs around Uncle Channing and
they were bumping into the wall. "
I have to cover my mouth because it would be totally wrong to laugh
right now. I look at Channing to see his cheeks are bright red. Lily
smacks him on the back of the head while staring wide eyed at Asher.
Court can't hold his laughter in anymore and it bursts out past his lips
making me go into hysterics. "I don't see what's so funny. I don't think
Asher is old enough to be seeing that kind of thing," my mom says,
glaring at me.
I calm myself down. "Well there isn't anything we can do about it now.
He has seen what he's seen. And it's not like Court and I are quiet about
it." I look at Channing and grin. "At least we do it behind locked
doors."
Court walks over and slaps Channing on the back. "And when it's time
for the birds and the bees talk, Channing gets to tell Asher. Seems
fair."
"Yeah, I have no idea what to say right now." Channing looks down at
the table and shakes his head.
Then my dad chuckles and ruffles Asher's hair. "I think it's going to be
fine. Asher was born into a family who gossips far too much and we all
live on top of each other. It was bound to happen. Between Rachel,
Channing and Royal, it's a wonder Michele and I haven't

walked in on them before. And I think Channing was probably too
focused to think about locking a door. "
"Or going into a room and locking the door. Really, doing it in a
hallway?" Court smirks at Channing, who turns even redder.
I glare at Channing and cross my arms over my chest. "Wait until I tell
Royal. I remember him telling you to stay away from her. And at his
own wedding too. "
Channing sighs and looks up at the ceiling. He's probably praying for a
new family. I don't blame him, we are all quite weird.
Everything calms down a bit as we eat breakfast. When we're all done,
I clear the dishes away and Court follows me into the kitchen. When I
stack the plates in the sink he wraps his arms around my stomach and
starts kissing my neck. "You look so fucking beautiful today." His
hands start going north and I purse my lips. "Let's go upstairs."
I push his hands back down. "No. I'm not ready for that right now. Hell,
it's only been three days since I told you. And while me being pregnant
is happy news, I don't want to rush anything."
Court growls but I ignore it. I've gotten used to the growls by now and
they haven't ever scared me. He's a teddy bear and teddy bears don't
bite. "I can see where you think that." He backs away from me and I
turn around. "Channing and I are going over to Van's. But I'll be back
later. I've decided if you're going to live here, I'm going to live here.
There's no need for us not to be together. "
It' s my turn to growl at him. "Just shut up about it! I did something
horrible and it makes me sick to my stomach that you can't see that. I
know you aren't stupid. I don't know how you can even look at me."
He brings his hands up to cup my cheeks. I want to close my eyes but I
don' t. There' s nothing more peaceful than the green that shines out of
his eyes. "I know you too, Rach. I'm telling you, everyone is telling
you, that he drugged you. You have to wake up and see we don't blame
you. Hell, everyone should blame me. I'm the reason he did it in the
first place."
"How can you think that?" I ask, wrapping my hands around his wrists.
My eyes are glued to his and I swear I'll never look away. "What
happened between you and Annabella was over five years ago. Why

would he wait until now to get back at you? You've changed, Court,
you are a better man than you were then. You made me a better person
and we made that little boy in there. We made the baby inside of me.
How could you blame yourself?"
A tear snakes out of his eye and I want to chase it with my hand but I
don't. I stay connected to him like this. "Because it's true, Rach. You
believe in me, the same way I believe in you. That's the problem. We
have undying faith in the other. It' s clouding your judgment while I
know what I' m talking about. "
"No it's clouding your judgment." I'm getting mad now. I don't know
why. I should be happy he thinks the best of me, but it's wrong. I' m a
horrible person.
"Just shut up about it Rach. I'm going over to Van's and I'm going to
find proof that he did this to you. He'll get what's coming to him, babe.
I swear that to you and our entire family. No one makes you feel this
way about yourself. No one gets to hurt you like that and get away with
it. " He wipes his thumb across my face, back and forth. "You are the
light that holds me together, Rachel. He broke you down and made you
doubt yourself. That hurts so much, makes me incredibly angry. I have
to prove it to you. It'll make you stop this nonsense and make me feel a
tiny bit better. "
"I want to come," I whisper.
"Why?"
"Because you seem so sure. Maybe I'm wrong." I don't think I am, but I
still want to look. I still want to be there when Court figures out I did
this. I made this happen and it's really going to rip us apart.
Court sighs and lets his hands drop. "G, everyone knows it. If you could
just look around you, see the things we see. You wouldn't ever do this
to me, not ever. And I wouldn't do it to you. Believe in that, Rach. Our
entire family wants Van's blood. Even Annabella knows it's true. Why
can't you?"
I stare at the wall behind his shoulders and I feel a tear fall. "Because
that means it's worse then it is right now. It means he tried to rape me."
I feel my lips tremble. "If Channing hadn't showed up, it would have
happened. I don't want to believe Donovan had that in him.

He's been around my child and he's out there right now. Around other
women, he could hurt them, if it's true."
"Rachel, it is true. I can't even begin to understand what that means to
you. But I want justice and revenge. It's like he wants to die. Messing
with you means certain death. Just be glad we told Ash to keep it from
Damien. We'd have a motorcycle club after his ass and Royal and I
wouldn't get to deliver any blows." He wraps his arms around me and
puts his nose in my hair. "Faith is the best medicine in the world
Rachel. At first I know I wasn't on the boat I am now, but it didn't take
me but five seconds after you left to figure it out. But I felt like I got
knifed in the chest, I didn't understand it. But I also knew, deep inside,
that you wouldn't ever do that to me."
I'm sobbing now. I block out the images in my head but I can't do it any
longer. He's in there. Touching me when I don't want him too. Getting
mad because I didn't like it. The angry way he took my pants
off.
I hate him.
Channing comes into the kitchen a while later and we head over to
Donovan's. He lives in a single story about three blocks from our
house. It' s nice and looks like every other house on the block. Court
finds the key to the door and we enter.
It looks like a man lives here and only a man. There are brown couches
with beer cans on the coffee table. Flies circle us as we walk around. He
hasn't been in here in weeks.
"What are we looking for?" I ask, trying to figure out in my head what
could prove this. It's not like he would leave drugs lying around. He
knows Court would figure it out, even if I didn't. And believe me, I'm
still not one hundred percent sure it's not all in their heads.
"Anything. A journal, little plastic baggies, things that scream 'I hate
Pierce and I want him to die'. You know things like that," Channing
tells me as he knocks books off a shelf.
"And you need to destroy the place to do this? " I put my hands on my
hips and sneer at him.
"Yup. Having to pick up a destroyed house is the least of his worries,
believe me." Then he pulls the TV off the wall stand and throws

it on the floor, cracking the screen.
I roll my eyes at him and move through the house. Court is in the
kitchen making a lot of noise, so he must be doing the same thing
Channing is. I climb the stairs slowly. He doesn't have any family
pictures anywhere. The pictures I see are all of his friends from college,
I presume anyway. I don't know any of them.
He doesn't even have any of Asher. I furrow my brows once I enter his
bedroom. This is where I find the pictures of his family. Only it' s worse
than that, as in he has a dartboard where Court's face is. Then I find one
that makes me fucking sick. It's me with my pants off. It has to be the
night I don' t want to think about. I was wearing that red shirt and black
panties. This one is taped to the wall over his computer desk. I open
some drawers in the desk and find even more. I can only imagine what
he planned to do with them.
I kick something under the desk. I bend down to find a notebook hidden
under the rolling desk. There are actually five down there. I pull one out
and open it to the first page.
Reading it makes me so sick; I hunch over and throw up. Then I realize
I'm crying because I don't know how to handle it. I don't know what it
all means.
When Court and Channing run up the stairs I'm rocking in the corner,
trying to block out the dark, vile thoughts of Donovan Pierce.
"What does it say?" Channing asks while Court reads over the page I
was reading.
"I know Rachel will never willingly sleep with me. Maybe that's what
draws me to her. She's so in love with Courtney, just like Annabella.
Annabella only thought she loved me, but in reality she couldn't face
that Courtney was who she wanted. She only wanted to hurt and being
with me hurt her. He was in reach but she couldn't have him. I shouldn't
have ever touched that bitch.
Now though, I'll get my revenge on both of them when I take what I
want from Rachel. I guess I' m just drawn to those who want my
brother. "
He stops reading because that's all the proof any of us need. Things
start crashing around me. Something picks me up and carries me away.
I

look up into smoky blue eyes and I cry harder. The tears leaking out of
our eyes are for the days when things weren't this fucked. I don't know
if Court will ever be the same again. I know I never will be.

Four
Royal
I keep a close eye on my sister. It's gotten to the point where I kind of
stalk her, but only when no one else can stalk her. It's not that she's
actually in any danger but I still have this horrible feeling in my gut.
I've had it for a month, ever since I got back from my honeymoon with
Wesley.
I don't think Rach will hurt herself, that's not what this is. She's still not
living with Pierce and she's different now. Haunted you could say since
I lack a better word. I can't even begin to understand what she's going
through.
I wonder most days if maybe we should have let her think what she
wanted, instead of proving the truth to her. Rachel isn't the same girl
anymore. She hasn't been for months but after she told Pierce it seemed
she'd gained some of herself back again. Now though, it's like she's
walking through life without a path to follow. She barely smiles and
when she does it's only for Asher. She doesn't have the same smart-ass
mouth that I love so much. When before she was sassy and had attitude,
now it's like she's a brick wall.
She's my twin sister, a part of me in every way. She's been by my side
my entire life. This girl isn't my sister and I feel like someone stole half
my soul. I know that might sound crazy to you, but it's how I feel. Yes,
Wesley is the love of my life and my soul mate but I believe we have
more than one soul mate. Those soul mates don't have to be a lover they
could be anybody. Channing being another one. I just feel it stronger
towards Rachel and that's because we came from the same person and
you can't just cut that connection. It's lifelong and everlasting.

Channing shifts in the passenger seat of my car. I turn away from the
place I was staring at. My honeymoon trip was three weeks long and
I've been back for a week. Channing has changed a whole hell of a lot
himself while I was gone. Except he went the opposite direction from
Rachel. The light is back in his eyes and where he'd lost weight, he's
gained it back. He's even built some of his muscles back up.
While he hasn't said anything, I know he's sexing someone up. And that
someone is Paisley. I'd been around the two of them for five years; I
know what it' s like when they are fucking. For example, Channing is
shifting around because it hurts to press his fresh scratch marks against
the seat. These scratches are probably bad enough to scar. Another
example would be the way he' s super quiet. He' s been super quiet
since I got back. This means he didn't stay away from Paisley like I
asked him to. He doesn't know what to say to me about it because this is
unknown territory. In his head he doesn't know whether they are
together or just fucking. If he'd open his mouth and talk to me, I'd tell
him they are just fucking. How do I know this? Well, simply for the
fact I haven' t seen Paisley once since I got back. If they were together
Channing would have invited her around to hang out. Regardless of
what the rest of us think.
"Back hurting you?" I ask, turning my head back to the building we've
been watching.
Channing grunts and I just laugh and shake my head. Surly bastard.
"You can talk to me about it. I'm not going to rag you about it," I state,
hoping he'll open up. I don't want secrets between us. He's always been
honest with me and talked things out. So this silence is bugging the shit
out of me. "I honestly don't care if you're fucking her."
I look at him out of the corner of my eye and see him glare at me. "I
don't know what I'm doing."
I laugh and lean over to punch him in the arm. "It's like high school,
bro. Friends with benefits and all that shit. In fact, it's probably what the
Redhead deserves. "
I watch him roll his eyes before he frowns. "It feels right. Just using her
like that. It also feels horrible. I don't know what to do with her. I hate
her and I love her. "

"How does she feel about all of it?" I pick up my oversized coffee and
take a sip. Rach's doctor's appointment was way too early this morning.
He shifts around again and then takes the coffee out of my hands. I
ignore that and turn back to watch the building. "She doesn't say
anything about it. She just opens the door when I knock at night. Then
she watches me leave in the morning with this small smile on her face.
It's actually freaking me out. It's like she knows something I don't."
I turn my head to look at him, slowly. "You spend every night at her
house?"
Channing sighs and takes a huge gulp of my coffee. "Yes. I don't even
mean to. I go over there for sex, and when it's time for me to leave I just
can't bring myself to. I just fall asleep next to her like this past year
hasn't happened."
I reach over and slap him on the back of the head. "You're an
idiot."
"I know. She's a fucking addiction. She's always been an addiction. It' s
not healthy. " He smoothes a hand over his face. Then a surprised look
comes over his face. I turn my head to look at what he sees when I see
her. Her blonde hair shines in the sun like a beacon and I almost open
my car door and get out. "That's Wes right? I'm not seeing things
right?"
"That is Wesley," I mumble, watching as she enters the doctor's office
Rachel is currently in. The doctor she came to see this morning is the
baby doctor. Or gynecologist for those of you who might think I'm an
idiot. I just hate that word.
I don't say anything to Channing as I get out of the car and rush into the
building. This early in the morning it's not very busy and the only
person sitting in the waiting room is Wes. Her mouth pops open as I
stalk towards her.
"What the fuck are you doing here?" she asks, getting out of her seat
and backing away from me.
"I think that's a question I should be asking you. And since you 're
being defensive about it, I doubt you're here for a vagina check up." I
stand, staring down at her with my arms crossed over my chest.

She lets out a huge sigh and sinks down into the chair behind her. "I
took a pregnancy test the other day. It was positive. I didn't want to get
everyone's hopes up until I got the doctor to confirm it." I sit down next
to her, suddenly unable to stand on my feet. She reaches over and
touches my hand. "You know how Dad is. He'd have me in his office
checking me over. And that would just be fucking weird, so I asked
Rach about her doctor and made an appointment. I was going to call
you when I got out of here." She leans over the seat and kisses my
cheek. "They wouldn't have done an ultrasound or anything today. I'd
just pee in a cup and get my vag looked at. You wouldn't have missed
anything."
I open my mouth to reply but I can't seem to form any words. It's like
my brain has shut off and I can't think of anything to say.
It doesn't matter though because Rachel comes out a door to my left
and stops dead when she sees us. She looked unbearably sad when she
came out but she lights up when she sees my face. "Oh my god! You
are pregnant!" Then she does a little dance.
Rachel rushes over and sits on my other side. She slaps my cheek
bringing me out of my stupor. "No need to be all weird about it Royal.
It's just a baby; you've been around Asher. Only now you have to
change the diaper instead of making Wes do it all. "
I ignore her and look at Wes. Her green eyes are bright and I know she's
on the verge of tears. I grab her face and smash my lips against hers.
"I'm sorry, I got shell shocked for a second. I'm so fucking happy right
now," I say when I pull away from her lips.
"Wesley Sanders. " A woman in scrubs calls out from the door Rach
exited from.
I go to stand up but Wes stops me. "I don't need you for this, babe. Talk
to Rach please. I figure that's how you knew I was here." Then she
heads towards the nurse. She turns around before she goes through the
door. She beams at me and blows me a kiss.
"See ya later, Duchess," I whisper, so happy I might burst out of my
skin. I mean I knew this was going to happen, since the two of us have
been screwing like rabbits. I just thought it would take longer. Wes and
I have been talking about having kids since I asked her to marry me
three years ago. We just wanted to finish school and get settled into our

jobs before we really started a family.
"Did you follow me?" Rachel asks. I blink a few times since I've been
staring at the door for like five minutes. "That's kind of weird, that you
followed me. "
I turn to look at her and I smile softly. "When I see you being the
woman I grew up with, until you become the sister I know again, I' m
going to follow you. "
She makes a face at me and crosses her arms over her chest. "I'm just
sad, okay? I'll get over it, especially when they find Donovan. Plus, I
feel incredibly stupid that I let it happen in the first place."
I stand up and turn towards her. Then I pull her out of her seat. I wrap
my arms around her shoulders and smash her against me. "We are all
sad. And I wouldn't be me if I wasn't overly worried about you. Plus,
you're growing my new niece or nephew. So that just makes it worse." I
lean away a little bit and look down at her. "I love you, Rach. And
you're hurting so I'm hurting."
"I love you too, you big oaf." She raises her hand to wipe away a tear.
"One day I won't hurt. One day I'll be fine and I hope the same is
for Court. "
"He's going to be fine as long as you are. I can't imagine what he's
going through. His brother hurt you and he can't do anything about it.
And he couldn't do anything about it when it happened. It hurt the place
he holds the closest." I help her wipe away some of the tears. "His
family, and it'll take awhile for everyone to be clear of it."
"Make You Feel My Love" the Adele version plays from Rach's phone
and she backs away to answer. "Hey. "
I start to pace around the waiting room while she talks on the phone. I
want to tell you I'm not nervous or scared to death but I am. I'm a big
guy and Wes is a tiny thing. The first few times we had sex I was scared
to death I was going to hurt her. But she's tough and can take anything.
She just had to show me that.
I' m just worried our kid is going to be too big for her and there will be
complications. I probably wouldn't have wanted kids if she hadn't
wanted it so bad. My first thought is to protect my wife, not hurt her.
And now she has to grow a human being for nine months and then go

through hours of labor and pain to give birth. This shit is going to give
me acid reflux.
"Everything's fine. It was just a check up, I told you that this morning."
Now I have to worry about Wes and my sister. I wasn't so worried last
time Rach was pregnant, but then again I was a teenager and I had no
idea about having a kid. Then I had to listen to Pierce talk about it. He
told me the things that could go wrong and I seemed to focus on that
instead of the happiness of it all.
"Listen, I have some more good news."
The one thing I' m worried about the most is Channing. This should
have been him a year ago. Getting married and finding out he's going to
have a kid. I hope this doesn't hit him too hard, especially with him
fucking Paisley all the time. I don't know whether to be mad at him for
that or be a little happy. I know them though. They aren't working it out
like they should. They're letting their bodies do the talking. But one day
it's all going to blow up in their faces.
"Wesley is here too. She just went in to have it confirmed. So yeah
she's most definitely pregnant too."
I hope Pierce doesn't hit me like I hit him. Though it would serve me
right. At least I waited until we were married to knock up his cousin. I
know he thinks of her as a sister and she feels the same. Now I feel bad
for spitting in his face, but in my defense I was fucking pissed. Pissed at
Rach for getting pregnant in the first place before she even graduated
high school. Then I was pissed at her for sleeping around with Pierce
while she had attachments to Kellan. Pierce isn't the enemy anymore
but he was at the time. Well, to me anyway. But he didn't deserve what
I did to him. What I said to him. I should probably apologize again.
"He's pacing. Knowing him he's worried about the baby being too big
for Wesley, how Channing is going to handle us being preggers while
he's on the outs with Paisley, and he's probably worried you're going to
hit him since he hit you when I got pregnant with Asher. Then again
he's the worrier out of all of us."
I stop pacing and glare at her. Sometimes I swear she can read my
mind. I remember when we were little we used to sit in front of each

other and try to hear the other's thoughts. We watched some dumb
movie where some twins could communicate telepathically. We
thought we could do it since we were twins ourselves. It's amazing the
things you come up with when you're a child.
"He's glaring at me now." She covers up the phone and says to me,
"Court isn't going to hit you. He said you did it right and not to worry."
I roll my eyes and finally sit down next to her. She gets off the phone
with Pierce after a few more minutes. She grabs my hand and holds it in
hers while we wait on Wes to get done. My heart beats erratically and I
can't seem to stop sweating. This might be way too much stress for me.
Another twenty minutes later Wes walks out of the door with a huge
smile on her face. She's holding a little picture in her hands and I swear
I stop breathing. That has to be a picture of our baby. Oh my god we are
going to have a baby.
Wes stops in front of me and turns the picture over. I have no idea what
I' m looking at but Rach gasps and her grip tightens on my hand.
"The doctor said I'm nine weeks. I just thought I missed my period
because of the stress of the wedding. I asked for an ultrasound since
Dad will most likely give me one anyway." She pauses and takes a deep
breath. "We're having twins, Royal."
That's about the time I realize there are two little blobs in the picture.
And then I fall out of the chair I'm sitting in.
And everything goes black.
***
Someone slapping my cheek wakes me up. I look up into smoky blue
eyes and see a grinning Channing. "Twins huh? Sounds like you' ll be
paying for your raising. "
I slap my hand out at him missing him by a mile. So I'm a little out of it,
you would be too if you found out the baby you thought you were
having turned into two babies. At one time.
Wesley kneels down next to me and runs her fingers through my

hair. "I know it was a shock but I didn't expect you to faint."
"Well I was thinking about the fact we'll have two babies instead of
one. That doesn't sound like much fun." I sit up and pull Wes into my
lap. "Though I' m seriously happy about it too. Being a twin myself, I
know it's pretty fucking epic."
"I love you." She laughs as she leans in to kiss me. "And hopefully
they're boys. I don't think you could handle two girls. That might be too
much excitement. "
"One boy, one girl. That way I have another guy to protect the girl. And
I'll have someone else to look after you, Duchess." I kiss her, making
sure my tongue goes into her mouth. Her hands go back into my hair. I
know it's a little much since we're in a doctor's office but hey, I just
found out I'm going to be a father. I'm allowed to celebrate with my
wife a little. "I love you too, girl," I whisper when we break apart.
She climbs off of me and heads over to the reception desk. I assume she
has to make another appointment or pay. Who knows? When Grayson
finds out, he's probably going to take over, like he did with Rach's
pregnancy. I'm surprised she didn't go to him this time.
"Why didn't you go to Grayson this time?" I ask Rachel as I climb to
my own feet.
"Because he's out of town this month. I wanted to make sure I keep up
with my appointments." She goes over to her seat and picks up her
purse. "I'm surprised you didn't know that, considering he's your
father-in-law."
"I did know. I just thought you had one doctor and that was all. "
She huffs and starts striding for the front door. "You' re supposed to
yeah, but I' m under more stress this time and I wanted to make sure
everything was all right. And I wasn' t going to Dad. It was bad enough
the last time and him having to deliver Asher like no one else was good
enough."
"Dad is going to look after both of us. He'll insist since I'm having
twins. God forbid another doctor who is an actual gynecologist looks
after his daughter. Or his niece-in-law. " Wes states with her face a
little green.
"You okay, Duchess?" I ask, crossing over to her.

"I think I might be sick." Then she heads over to a potted plant and up
chucks into the thing. Luckily it's fake or it probably would have died. I
hold her hair back until she's done. A nurse comes out with a glass of
water. They take the fake plant away and I find it kind of funny.
"You killed the fake plant, girl. Good job. "
When she finishes her water, she throws the little plastic cup at me. It
hits me on the side of my head and I find that even funnier. "Stop
laughing! It's not funny one bit, Royal!"
"Don't you just love it when she gets mad at him? All her fire comes
out. I think she could take down an army of hell hounds when she's
pissed off," Rachel remarks to Channing who's holding in his laughter
as well.
I grab Wesley up before she can do any more damage to me. Not that
she actually did any damage. "You got sick in a fake plant Wes, laugh a
little. It' s funny. Besides we all know you' re pregnant. Morning
sickness comes with the territory. "
"Well, no matter what, it' s not funny or to be laughed at. " She looks
over at Rach and smirks. "Besides, I remember when Rachel' s bladder
let loose one night while we were at the grocery store. That was very
funny. "
Rachel' s cheeks heat up. Though her embarrassment doesn' t last long.
"See that reason right there is why I took a picture of you throwing up
in that plant. If you keep bringing that up I'm posting it to Facebook,
then the entire town of Meadows can laugh at you. "
Wesley leaves my arms and goes at Rachel with her pointer finger out.
"I'll tell everyone how many hot dogs you ate in one sitting at Six Flags
while you were pregnant with Asher! "
Rachel gasps. "You bitch! You promised you would never repeat that
number! "
Channing moves to stand beside me with a grin on his face. "This is
highly entertaining. Too bad they' re both pregnant or we could
challenge them to mud wrestling. "
I slap him on the back of the head while Wes and Rach continue to go at
it. Seems they are both going to be a handful. "I'll also tell Royal about
the time you fucked Kellan Dean in his bed. "

"Okay, that's just gross. And FYI, I can hear you Wes." Now I feel like
I' m going to be sick.
"I'll tell Court about the time you got shitfaced drunk and used his skate
ramp as a bed and a toilet." Rachel looks like she won until Wesley
jumps out at her and starts pulling her hair.
Channing and I sigh and go to move them apart. Wesley starts kicking
and screaming at Rachel while Rachel just laughs because she got the
last word in. Or the last word we would let her have. Once they start
getting physical we separate them. Even when they're both not
pregnant. They don't need that in their friendship. And in case you were
wondering, they fight like this sometimes. Not all the time since they
are best friends. In all honestly I think they like it.
Once everyone calms down we head towards the door only to come up
short when Paisley Vaughn walks into the office.

Channing
I' ve always had a problem with talking to people. And looking at
Paisley right now, I know I should have talked to her. It's one of those
things you think about right at the last minute. We haven't discussed
birth control and I know that first night, Royal's wedding, I didn't use a
condom. I have been since then, but that doesn't change that first night.
I always thought I'd have babies with Paisley. I had hoped we'd have a
little girl that would look just like Paisley and hopefully a boy without
red hair. I wanted to be married though and completely in love with her.
Those two things I don't have right now.
"You have got to be kidding me," Rachel whispers next to Royal who
has his mouth wide open. It was a complete shock to come into the
doctor's office and find that Wes is pregnant along with Rachel.
Now Paisley is here.
She looks so small standing there and old feelings come to the front of
my mind. I have this urge to protect her even though she doesn' t
deserve it. I used to stand in front of her, taking the hits life throws at
you. I didn't care then because I knew she loved me. I knew she loved
me up until the day she left me at the altar.
And you can't come back from that.
"Paisley Vaughn," a nurse says from behind us, making Wesley jump. I
only know because she's standing so close to me.
I'm watching Paisley though. I can't seem to stop looking at her. All
that auburn hair down around her shoulders and her blue-green eyes
guarded and scared. That fear gets to me. It tells me what she's here to
find out.
This must be how Pierce felt when Rachel announced she was pregnant
with Asher and that the baby was his. Complete shock and no idea what
to do. Paisley and I aren't together. We fuck every night and I can't even
begin to explain that to you. I just know I have to be next to

her at night or I get tight feelings in my chest and the urge to scream. It'
s a calling I don't want to answer but I have to.
Paisley takes a deep swallow and moves through my group of friends.
Wesley reaches out and squeezes her arm but doesn't say anything.
Paisley gives her a trembling smile. Then she walks through the open
door and disappears when it closes.
"Dude," Royal says, smoothing a hand over his face and staring at the
door Paisley went behind. "If she's pregnant I'm having the water
checked around here. Or I' m going to pass out disinfectant so no one
else catches it. "
"No, we' ll have to share it with Ash," Rachel whispers. I guess she's
still in shock because I haven't heard her this quiet on any subject, ever.
I don' t want to stay here. I want to run out the door and never look
back. I keep thinking if I had just opened my mouth, this wouldn' t be
happening to me right now. Instead of running like I want to, I sit down
on one of the chairs and I watch the door, waiting for her to reappear.
Royal, Wesley and Rachel sit down around me; I guess also waiting for
her to return. I don't know why, we all know what's going to happen.
It's more than a coincidence that three of the women in my life showed
up at the same time to the same doctor. It's fucking fate.
The only problem is Paisley and I aren't married like we should be. I' m
twenty-three years old. I should know better than to fuck anyone
without a condom. But this was Paisley and I was used to going bare
back. She was on birth control when we were together.
The four of us sit in complete silence for thirty minutes. A nurse comes
out the door and looks Royal and I over. Then she points at me. "You're
the father right? We need you to come back, please."
I just stare at her. I knew what the answer would be I just didn't prepare
myself. I'm going to be someone's father. I'll have to share a kid with
the woman I love and hate the most out of all the women in my life. I
hate her more than my mother; simply for the fact Paisley knows how I
am. She knew I would be crushed; yet she still chose not to talk to me.
She just left. But I love the memory of the girl I met in high school. The
one I thought had been sent to ruin my life but instead gave it purpose.

Little did I know she would ruin my life eventually.
Wesley grabs my arm and attempts to pull me up. I swat her away and
get up myself. I walk with the nurse behind the door that seems to be
separating me from those I need, only to bring me to someone I don' t
want to need or want.
I' m taken to a room near the back of the office and I hear her sobbing
before the door even opens. When I get a look at her, my heart breaks. I
might be cold and calculated but that doesn't mean I don't feel. Paisley
is a contradiction for me. When I look at her I see love and hate,
passion and coldness, scars and beauty. She's wearing a little paper
robe and she's curled into a ball with her hands over her face.
"She's been like this for ten minutes. I assume she didn't like the news
we gave her. I thought you might be able to get her calmed down, " the
nurse tells me. Then she leaves and shuts the door behind me.
The crying is what does it. Opens that door I've been keeping closed. I'
ve been pretending for the last month that she doesn' t matter. That her
feelings don' t matter mainly because my feelings didn' t matter when
she left me at the altar.
I cross the floor and stand right over her. I lift a hand and place it on her
head. I smooth my fingers through her silky locks, much like I did last
night while I was inside her. She looks up at me with clouds in her eyes.
She's scared and so am I. I have no idea what to do here or how to
handle any of this. But I'm going to try because if I know anything, my
kid won't have an absent father. I grew up without mine and thankfully
I had Richard. He might not be my blood but he's my father in every
sense of the word. Yeah, it's not his fault my father died, but even
before that he wasn't around. Maybe it was because Lily isn't my
mother. Maybe it's a whole lot of reasons; I just know he never really
gave a damn about me.
I refuse to be that way towards my own child.
"It's going to be alright, baby," I tell Paisley. I wipe some of the tears
from under her eyes as I look down on her.
"Don't call me that," she states, even though she doesn't tell me to stop
touching her. "I hate when you call me that now. You use it as a
weapon."

I rub her arm up and down as I contemplate what she just said. It comes
naturally to me to call her baby. All the other pet names I could come
up with aren't nice and people would probably take it the wrong way.
But do I use it as a weapon now?
Probably.
"I'll call you what I want. At least with you angry and sad, I know
you're feeling something." All her tears have dried up now, so I move
away from her and sit down in the doctor's chair.
She sits up and holds the robe closed over her body. "I feel everything.
And that's really hard when you're the fucking robot."
I shrug my shoulders. "I am what you made me."
And that's when she looks at me with a look I haven't seen in over a
year. Her eyes go a little glary and her lip sneers up a bit. She wants to
hit me. When we first got together, she thought about hitting me all the
time. She never said anything but I knew her then, unlike now. This is
the first time I'm seeing the old Paisley.
She drops the look after a minute and sighs. "What are we going to do
now?"
"Whatever needs to be done. You won't disappear again and we'll be
parents to our kid." I refuse to promise her anything else. I don't like to
make promises I'm not sure I can keep.
"But we won't be together." It's not a question and I'm happy for that.
At least she knows that much.
I shake my head. "No, we won't be together. You made it perfectly
clear you didn't want to be with me a year ago."
I'm not watching her because I can't bring myself to look at her right
now. But when I hear her sobbing again I get up. She's curled into a ball
again but I pick her up and plant my ass on the table with her in my
arms. It's a foreign and familiar feeling. Even the past month while I've
stayed the night with her, I've refused to cuddle after we fuck. I refuse
to form another emotional attachment to her. This is different though.
"I' m sorry," she whispers, planting her face in my neck. I wait for more
but that seems to be all I'm going to get.
I rub my hand up and down her back waiting for her tears to dry

again. Then she does something that shocks me and makes me want to
run screaming from the room. She lifts up in my arms and plants her
forehead on mine. Up close those blue-green eyes pull me in and all I
can see is her. All I can feel is her. "I didn't leave you to hurt you. I just
couldn't show up in that dress in front of all those people. I knew
though that you would never forgive me. Now I can't tell you where my
head was at. It just scared me to death to walk down that aisle." Her
hands come up into my hair and I want to close my eyes and sigh. "It
had nothing to do with you, Channing. I've always been fucked in the
head. You know this. I mean come on, it took me three times to even
say yes to marrying you. "
She stops talking for a second and just looks at me. "You've always
been the most beautiful man I've ever met. I just couldn't grasp the fact
you wanted me and that I could spend forever with you. I've always
been a little scared of you but I still thought I could do it. I thought I
could walk down that aisle and everything would be okay. But I
showed up that day and all I could think about was what my parents
went through, what Papaw went through. I couldn' t do that to you. I
couldn't do that to myself."
I never understood it. The reasons why she left me. I always thought it
was because I wasn't good enough for her. But in fact, this whole time
the answer has been staring me in the face. Paisley built a wall around
herself when she was very young. And the only people who truly ever
get behind that wall are Carly, BeeBee and I. It took me way longer
than the other two but I did it. But she also built another one that only
Paisley lives in.
"You should have talked to me." I put my hands around her face and
move her back a little. "You know you could have talked to me. "
She nods. "I knew inside, deep inside that I could always talk to you.
But that day, that day I felt totally alone. I couldn't bring myself to talk
to you about anything. I couldn't even look at you."
That hurts. God does it hurt. I close my eyes to block out the pain but
it's still there. Festering inside of me just like every other hurt I feel
from her. She's my savior and my destroyer. I wanted answers to all the
questions I would never ask but here I am in more pain than I started

with.
I stand up and slowly drop Paisley's feet to the floor. "We should
probably get out of here. I'm sure they'll need the room soon."
Her eyes widen and she takes a step back. "I didn't intend to hurt you
with this Channing. I just wanted you to know. I've been keeping it
inside for the past month. I thought you were ready to hear it. "
"Well, I'll never be ready to hear any of that. You'd feel the same way.
We both know what it feels like to not be good enough." Then I move
away from her and out of the room. I stride down the hallway and then
out into the waiting room.
Her words echo around in my head and I can' t take the noise. I can't
take any of this and I just need to leave. Rachel and Wesley are gone
when I get out but Royal sits in a chair, his head in his hands. He looks
up at me with only an inch of the pain I feel. "I wish it wasn't so,
brother."
"I wish it wasn't so myself," I say before walking out the front doors,
Royal on my heels. We get into his car and drive away all before
Paisley comes out of the building.
***
I've discovered over the past year that I'm a closet stoner. Outside in
normal life, I'm fine. I don't need it around my friends and family. But
inside, when it's just me, I need it more than anything. I need the
weightless feeling and the peace it gives me.
I don't destroy things when I'm stoned. I don't want to hurt myself or
anyone else. I can forget what it's like to be me for a couple of hours.
Though this time it didn't help all that much. I keep seeing Paisley on
that table, sad, alone and crying. She only wants peace and I can't give
it her. Hell, I can't give it to myself.
I used to love everything she stood for. I didn't have to hold her hand
through life, I only had to stand beside her. That's the thing about it
though; she was never standing beside me. I always thought she was
but, in fact, we stood worlds apart. I liked that I didn't need to protect
her, I

just wanted to. I liked that we were different, yet exactly the same. I
only ever wanted to spend the rest of my life with her.
I loved the fact she was a prude outside of bed, but in between the
sheets she was free. She didn't hold back when we were naked. We
were equals there and we still are, but now we don't have that
connection. It died along with my heart when she left me.
I miss the way she used to watch Netflix on her Kindle while I wrote
for hours. She never wanted to be away from me. I didn't want to be
away from her. And excuse me for wanting to make her an honest
woman by giving her my last name.
I loved the fact she would hole up and ignore me when she was mad at
me. I'd have to use poetry or a silly note to get her to forgive me.
I miss the way she would cook me anything I wanted and never
complain. She would set out a beautiful tablecloth, candles and have
glasses of wine ready for me when I got done writing. She never once
complained about all the time I spent in my office.
I loved when she'd come in covered with grease and smelling like
motor oil. She'd get so excited, she'd tell me in detail what she fixed
that day. I know she still owns her garage over in Dallas because I used
to drive by to see if her Camaro was there. Though I never stopped to
get a look at her.
I set my joint down and turn to stare out of the window. I can't stop
thinking of the stuff that made me happy when I was with her. I can' t
stop picturing us in those days. I want that back so bad and I know I can
have it. I just can't bring myself to forgive her. I just can't do it. What
happens down the road when I want to get married and she refuses? I
can't take any more of that rejection. But now I'm stuck with her for the
rest of my life. We're having a kid.
A baby.
There's a knock on my bedroom door. I don't bother to open it or say
anything. It's Pierce or even Royal. Rachel hasn't come home yet,
which isn't surprising. You can't make Rachel do anything and I think
out of everyone in that situation, she needs the alone time the most.
Pierce did kind of bring it upon himself. Not that he ever intended for
Rachel to get hurt. He loves her more than life itself.

The door opens and in walks Paisley. In my fogged over brain I don't
comprehend that it's really her. Like maybe I wished her into being or
something. I even smile at the sight but she doesn't return it.
"Really Channing? Getting stoned in the middle of the day?" She walks
into my room and sets her purse down on the end table near the door.
She closes the door and walks over to the bed where I'm sitting against
the wall. "I would have thought you had more sense than that. "
"If you were me, you'd do it too," I tell her, watching as she sinks into
the bed and places her head against my shoulder. I even find the
courage to put my arm around her back.
"I probably would." She snuggles into me and her cold nose hits my
neck making me cringe.
"What are you doing here?" I hear Asher run down the hallway
followed by the sound of a small female, I'm assuming is BeeBee.
"When I get scared or when I need to be held, I've always come to you.
Now's not any different." Her arms come around my stomach and my
body breaks out into chill bumps like it does every time she touches
me.
I find myself putting my head on top of hers because I can't help it.
"What did you do for the past year?"
"I bought bottles of your cologne and spray your pillow with it." I close
my eyes at that confession. "It's not the same as this, but it helped. I
guess deep down I knew I wasn't ever going to get you to forgive me. I
wanted to come over here so many times. I wanted to scream and shout
that I was wrong and take it all back, but some thing's you can't go back
and do over. "
I don't say anything because her words seem to crack the place inside of
me I hardened against her. Hearing the person who hurt you is in pain,
just like you, makes it easier to deal with. I know she could have
prevented the pain, but she's also right in we can't go back and change
it. Things are how they are.
She clears her throat and I look down at her, only to see her looking up
at me. "I love you Channing. That was never in question. I could never
love anyone the way I love you. I haven't even tried to love anyone else.
I only ever wanted you. But I couldn't get past my own

insecurities." I see her hand curve around her stomach out of the corner
of my eye. "This baby makes everything different. I don't want to be
like my mother. I want you to be with me and help me through this. I
know that's a lot to ask considering our past, but I'm ready to be
whatever you want me to be. "
I don't answer her because I don't know what to say. I love her but I hate
her too. And life isn't that simple. I can't go from not being with her to
being with her. I have to think about things and make the best choice
for me. Though, me being in her life to help with this kid has never
been in question. I will be here for all of it.
I tip her chin up and lean over to kiss her. It's gentle at first but soon my
tongue finds its way into her mouth and my hand snakes under her
shirt. This is what we do. It's what we've always done. We don't solve
our problems by simply having a heart to heart. Our bodies always get
involved. Sex is our way of talking it out. That's probably why we've
been having so much of it lately.
Paisley pushes me onto my back and straddles my hips. Then she
undoes my belt buckle. My zipper goes down and she reaches in to grab
my dick, which is hard for her. I groan, never taking my eyes off her.
Her lips are wet and her eyes are bright. Just the way I like it. I reach up
to pull her down to me. I push her skirt up around her hips. My fingers
make their way to her sex, where I find her hot and wet. I hook my
fingers into her panties and move them to the side.
This is when she moves her hips to sink down on me. The whole time
she rides me with her eyes open and her forehead on mine. My hands
stay in her hair, drawing her closer and closer. You can feel it in the air,
all the anger leaving. The hurt lingers but it's not nearly as bad.
Sometimes you just need the things that hurt you the most. They make
that hurt go away, sometimes forever or sometimes not at all.
She rides me hard and slow. Switching between them, driving me
insane. Then I watch in those blue-green eyes how her world breaks
apart and comes back together as her slick walls squeeze around my
dick. Then I explode deep inside her.
She falls down on me and we just lie there. No talking, just heavy
breathing. It's the best I've felt in the past year. And then I have the urge

to explain what I felt.
"When Margret came out with that letter. I lost it. I couldn't see, I
couldn't hear, and I couldn't feel. I just started destroying whatever I
could get my hands on. The church looked like a tornado hit it by the
time they got me sedated. I vowed that day to never forgive you. Royal
and Rachel did too. Pierce didn't know what to do, but he's always been
only worried about me. He's got a big soft spot for you." I pause and use
my hands to smooth up and down her back. "I used to look at pictures
of you all day the first month. The second month I pretended they didn'
t exist and I smoked pot all day every day. Rachel joined me when
Asher went to bed. Then the third month I started to regain some of the
things that made me who I am. So I pretended I didn't need you and I
refused to say your name. No one else would say it either. Royal called
you the Redhead and Rachel and I referred to you as the bitch. Pierce
simply pretended you didn't exist.
"I was a shell, baby. I wasn't anyone anymore because you weren't next
to me. Then I got so fucking excited but tried to hide it when I found
out you were in the wedding. Then you were there, standing right in
front of me. And I knew I wanted you to hurt as much as I did. " I pause
and look down at her. "But I could see it, even if I didn't want to. You
hurt just as much as me and I was happy. But I was happier to see you.
And even if I couldn't admit it right then, I knew everything was going
to be okay. "
We don't speak after that. She falls asleep pretty quickly and I find
myself whispering, "I love you, too." Right before I drift off.

Rachel
This morning I decided I was going to stop being a complete idiot and
go home to my husband and my son. I don't think it was just one thing
that sent me in this direction but lots of little things. You spend five
years with someone you start to miss everything about them when they
aren' t around.
Court and I are fine in relationship terms. We talk every day and he
always lets me know how much he misses me. Though being the
wonderful man that he is, he doesn't push me to come home. He knows
what happened with Donovan has put me in a mindset I don't want to be
in. Things are confusing now and I don't know what to do about it.
So I decided to go home and get over it. Yes, I was drugged and almost
raped, but I have a man who loves me with his whole heart. It wasn't his
fault or my fault that this happened. Donovan let his anger and
resentment fester and grow into something evil. He could have talked it
out with Court or with a professional but he chose not to.
I can understand it though, if only a little. I now want revenge for what
he put me through, what he put everyone I love through. I want to
punch him in the face and cut off his balls. Then feed them to him.
My mom stands at the doorway while I pack up the rest of my clothes.
"I'm not going to lie, I'm going to miss you. It's been so familiar and
now you're moving out again. Plus, you come with Asher and it's
always a joy to be around him."
I sniffle a little bit at that. We haven't always had the easiest
relationship but now that I' m grown and have a kid, I understand her. I
get why she did the things she did. Plus, she's a shrink and I've learned
a thing or two about how the brain works. She was protecting herself
and us from pain. She almost died and we had no idea. She lost a few of
our years growing up and she didn't want to come back into our lives
and

then have to leave again. Women.
"You act like I live miles away. It's only a few blocks, Mom. Plus, we
are over here a lot. Quit being a girl about it." I hear her laugh behind
me and it brings a smile to my face.
"You and that mouth." I turn to look at her and she shakes her head.
"I'm happy to see you go though, you need to be with Courtney. I'm
sure he's been a mess without you."
I bark out a laugh and zip up my suitcase. "I think we've been a mess
without each other. But somehow I think this whole ordeal will make
us stronger. "
I hug her tightly before I walk down the stairs. "I'm going home Dad.
I'll see you later!"
He appears at the doorway to the living room and grins at me. "You go
make it right, Rach. We'll be here if you need us." I set my suitcase
down and cross over to him. We wrap our arms around each other. He
squeezes me a little too tight but I don't mind. There's nothing like a
loving hug from your Dad.
I tell Dad and Mom I love them as I walk out the front door. I stop in the
driveway and turn around to look at my childhood home. I know this is
the last time I will ever live here. I let a tear fall for that and then I put
my big girl panties on and head to my house.
Paisley's Camaro is parked in the driveway and I find that odd. Though
she is pregnant now, so I guess Channing and her will work out their
problems. I hated her for a while for what she did, but I also knew she
had big issues. And they aren't the kind of issues that make themselves
known. Having been friends with her for years, you never would have
known she felt abandoned by her mother and then betrayed by her
grandmother. She hides it so well she doesn't even know she has the
issues. Plus, finding out how crazy her mom really was and what she
put her father through, I'd be scared of getting married too. Though she
should have known Channing wouldn't ever do anything to hurt her.
So in fact Paisley was scared of herself and I can forgive that. I think
we are all a little scared of ourselves. You never know what you're
capable of until the time comes.

I didn' t tell Court I was coming home. It is our anniversary today, so I
decided to make it a surprise. I use my key to unlock the front door and
I slowly enter the house. I hear children's voices in the living room. I
hear noises from the kitchen along with voices. I set my suitcase down
and peek into the living room. Asher and BeeBee sit on the floor in
front of the TV. They bicker at each other while they run around on
screen as sock puppets. Little Big Planet is one of those games you
really get into.
They both look up at me when I laugh. Asher throws his controller
down and screams, "Mommy!" and shoots up off the floor. He runs at
me and crashes into my legs almost knocking us over. "You're home! I
can't believe you're home!"
"Well you best believe it. I'm finally home for good." I lean over and
kiss his hair and take in his scent. I've seen him every day but that still
doesn't make up for the fact I wasn't living at home with him and Court.
"Rach?" Court asks from the doorway into the kitchen. I look up from
Asher and beam at him. My big strong man, the one I love so fucking
much. He strides down the hallway and picks me up and twirls me
around a little bit. "So did you finally put your head on right?"
I nod with tears in my eyes. I normally wouldn't cry right now but the
hormones are making me crazy lately. "Yes I finally stopped being
stupid."
He kisses my cheek and then puts his face in my neck. "So happy to
have you home." His voice is gruff and I wonder if he's on the verge of
tears himself. The big baby.
"I hate to break this up but the pancakes are burning," Channing says
from down the hall. I look over at him and see him smiling like an idiot.
Court growls. "Paisley can cook, make her take them off. Can't you see
I'm busy here?"
Channing barks out a laugh and walks towards us. "I can. I wanted my
hug is all. Paisley took care of the pancakes without being asked." He
winks at Court and then wraps his arms around me. "The lady of the
house is finally home. Maybe now we'll have clean clothes." He kisses
me on the cheek and I smack his arm.

"No such luck. I'm the pregnant one here. I ain't doing any house work
and y'all can kiss my butt." I stick my tongue out at him.
I move down the hallway and go into the kitchen. Paisley is pouring
more batter into the pan. She almost drops the bowl when she spots me
in the doorway. "Seems I'm not the only one to come home." I raise
both eyebrows waiting to see if she becomes badass Paisley or gentle
Paisley.
"Well, I had a lot more to be forgiven for. Unlike you who didn't do
shit." Then she raises both eyebrows at me.
I laugh and wrap an arm around her shoulder. "All that matters to me is
that you're here and you're trying to make up for it."
"Well you know me. I can't stand it when everyone is mad at me." She
lets me go to scoop out the pancakes and move them to plates.
BeeBee and Asher come running into the room. BeeBee stops next to
me and beams up at me. "I' m going to be an aunt! Can you believe it? I
can play dress up with a real baby! "
"You are? That's very exciting. But what happens if it's a boy? You
can't play dress up with a baby boy." I bite my lip as she frowns.
Then she puts her hands on her hips. "Then I'll pretend it's a girl and
still dress him up. "
I wink at her and nod. I hate to break it to the kid but no one is going to
play dress up with Channing's son. Not that I know it's a boy, I' m just
saying.
"Y'all should enjoy breakfast. Rach and I will be back later this
afternoon," Court walks up next to me and announces. I roll my eyes at
him but wave goodbye as I follow him out of the kitchen.
The poor boy hasn't gotten laid in a little over a month. He's got to be
hurting. But we need to talk about a few things before the fun happens.
I know, I know, being an adult sucks!
He carries my bag upstairs and then into our bedroom. He sets the bag
down at the foot of the bed on the floor. I close the door behind me.
Then we just stand there staring at each other. I missed him every hour
of every day.
"I shouldn't have been so blind. I shouldn't have let any of this happen.
If I had just ignored him, none of this would have ever

happened," I tell him, moving to sit down on the bed.
He sits down next to me and wraps his arm over my shoulder. Then he
falls backwards taking me with him. I curl into his side and turn my
head to look up at him. His green eyes meet mine and I find myself lost
in their depths. They say you can see into someone's soul by looking in
their eyes, and that's true for Court. I see everything in his eyes. All the
love he has for me and all the pain he holds for the shit that happened
with his brother.
"I should have talked to him about it when Annabella first pulled her
shit. I shouldn't have listened to him when he said he wasn't mad at me.
And he probably wasn't, but over the years it's had time to grow and
fester making him do horrible things." His hand, not attached the arm
behind my head, moves up to glide over my cheek. "You are not at fault
for this. He approached you and you thought he was lonely and needed
a friend. I wasn't around much then with practice and games. You were
probably lonely a little too. "
"I thought he needed a friend. He kept saying how he didn't have
anyone to talk to and how I was always such a nice person." I shiver
thinking about walking into his house. "Then I went into his house and
I realized how much he had lied to me. He has friends, he made a lot of
them when he was at college. "
"That's what happens when you join a fraternity. It doesn't matter
though. This is all on him. I see that now and I hope you do too. He
could have chosen a different path than he did. He could have talked it
out with me, hurt me to my face instead of going after you. He made his
choices and he has to live with the consequences. "
We stare at each other for a while just lost in thought. Then I have
something to say. "I' m sorry I ran away for so long. I should have been
here with you and Asher. I just didn' t want to believe that Donovan
would actually do something like that. I thought I had brought it all
upon myself. I didn' t want it to be true and when it was, I had to get
through the horrible thoughts that followed. " I pause and take a deep
breath, swallowing down all the vile thoughts that took over my brain
for a while. "I didn't want you to see me like that. I didn't want you to
have to hurt even more for what he did. And I shouldn't have done that
because I

still hurt you by staying away. "
I look away from him but he catches my chin and makes me turn back
towards him. "I can't imagine how it was Rach. I probably reminded
you of him, considering we look a lot alike. And if I hadn' t slept with
Annabella while she was with him, none of this would ever have
happened. "
I shake my head. "We can go over and over all the things that we did to
make this happen. And we shouldn't do that anyway. This is his fault.
There's a time and a place for revenge. Like five years ago when you
started sleeping with Annabella. Not now when you're married and
happy. I think that's what messed him up the most. You are happy and
he isn't. He doesn't have a steady girlfriend and hasn't had one since
Annabella. That should tell you a few things there. "
Court pulls his arm from under me and rolls over my body. He stares
down at me for a minute. "I love you so much. I spent every night
wanting you beside me and it killed me that I was a part of the reason
you couldn't be next to me at night. But I swear to God I will never be
away from you again. "
I open my mouth to say something but he stops me with his lips.
Tingles start up along my body centering at my sex. He can always turn
me on by kissing me. The kiss is slow. His tongue comes into my
mouth and then leaves, making me groan at the teasing. I hate to be
teased. His hand comes up under my shirt and he kneads my breasts.
My nipples come up into sharp little points stabbing into my bra.
He leans back long enough to help me get rid of the shirt. Then he
pushes down my bra and his mouth suctions onto my nipple. I arch my
back at the sensation trying to get my hips closer to his hips. He raises
his head and laughs at me when I growl at him for going so slow. Then
I shut him up by ripping his shirt over his head. I kiss his neck and
down his chest. He stops me before I get to his dick because he knows
that' s where I was headed. He pushes me onto my back and takes off
my knee-high leather boots. Then my pants come off, followed by my
panties. I start panting when his face goes right for the good stuff. His
tongue plays at my clit and he uses a finger to sink inside of me. I arch
my hips for a closer contact and he obliges.

My hands are in his hair and I think again how much I love that he grew
it out. I tug on it hard and he growls against my swollen wet skin. He
sucks at me, making me cry out. Though he stops before I reach the
finish line. I glare at him as he rises on his legs. He runs a hand through
his hair giving me a sexy smirk. Then he trails the hand down his chest
oh so slowly. I try to tighten my legs together but he's in-between them
so I can't. He uses that hand to unbutton his jeans and pull the zipper.
Then his dick is free and I really start panting.
He lays over me, never breaking eye contact. "I want to be inside of you
when you come. I want you to whimper my name while you clutch at
my cock." He kisses me hard, making me taste myself. "I love it when
you whimper my name. "
Then he reaches down to guide his erection into my body. I arch my
back at the entrance because it's been so long and it feels so fucking
good. He uses his hand to raise my leg against him so he can penetrate
me harder. His hips thrust, gliding him in and out of me. I feel
everything and it sends me higher and higher. Our eyes stay locked the
whole time, never once leaving the other's. It feels like the closest we
have ever been and maybe it is.
"That's it G. I wanna feel you milking my cock," he says as he sinks
into me and stays to grind his hips against mine. It sends my clit into
overdrive and I find myself rolling my eyes into the back of my head.
"Court..." I whimper into his neck because he's used his hand to bring
me closer to his body. He pounds into my body until his orgasm takes
over and he stills inside of me. I' m still coming down from my own
climax so I just lay there still and content. I can' t believe I ever thought
for one second I could actually cheat on Court. It doesn' t make any
sense at all. No one could ever make me feel this way.
He nuzzles my face, never stopping skin-to-skin contact. I feel all
warm and fuzzy inside.
"Don't ever leave me again."
"You kicked me out," I laugh.
"Yeah, don't listen to me. I'm a fucking idiot."
We lay like that for a while. Just the two of us, always touching.

But I finally start to feel uncomfortable and he lets me get up to clean
up. I leave the bathroom door open so he can see me. This is a little
known fact but we chose this house because the bathroom door sits
perfectly in the room so the bed can be seen.
I like it when he looks at me. I feel beautiful and sexy. The more and
more I think about it, I know I made the biggest mistake of my life and
luckily everything turned out okay. I don't know what I would do
without Court. I don't think I would ever have been a normal sane
person again. He's the other half of me and I should never have
forgotten that.
***
Court told me how yesterday Channing and Paisley stayed in
Channing's room all day. Court had to take care of both kids and get
them ready for bed, so he decided we are going to do the same today.
So that's what we did. We made love, we watched TV, and we talked.
We got back to being us instead of being him and me. We found a way
to live with what happened. Though we will always have it out for
Donovan. And hopefully the day will come where we get to confront
him about it. I' m going to beat the shit out of him.
Women are precious. I mean come on, we give birth to kids and we
aren' t built to beat off attackers. You are a sick, stupid asshole if you
take advantage of a woman, but since I'm a woman, my opinion might
be biased. I'm just saying, it's seriously hard to rape a guy, and it's not
so hard to rape a woman. As much as I hate to admit that, it' s true. And
as women, we shouldn't have to take special classes to defend ourselves
against men; the men should be protecting us. But instead they are
hurting us more and more every day. Maybe one day a woman will be
president and she'll make it a law that every man convicted of rape has
to have their dick cut off. It'll serve the assholes right.
I know I wasn't raped but it's scary how close I came. Channing will
always be a little more precious to me now. He saved me from a lot
more pain and he didn't even have to try. I'm happy I made the decision
to let him live with us.

Court and I are laying in bed watching Game of Thrones when there's a
banging on the wall in the next room. I look up at Court to see him
smothering a laugh. That's when my lip curls up. "So we have to listen
to them fuck now?"
Court finally just lets the laugh burst out of his mouth. "Yeah. It was
horrible last night. I'm happy I let you talk me into this bed with the
entire base on the floor. It doesn't rock like his bed."
I purse my lips and I go back to the day I told Court what happened
with Donovan. Channing was banging on the wall because he thought
we were fucking, instead of arguing. I climb out of bed and cross the
room. I start banging my fist against the wall. "Hey, asshole! I'm home
now! I'm not going to let you get away with all this noise! " Then I bang
some more.
I hear Channing and Paisley's smothered laughing behind the wall and
that just pisses me off more. I bang again. "You have a fucking house
Paisley, that no one else lives in! Why must you torture me?"
Court sneaks up behind me. We're both naked because putting clothes
back on seemed pointless. I feel his erection hit me on the butt and I
gasp. He starts kissing my neck, sending tingles straight to my sex. He
snakes a hand around my body and starts playing around until I' m wet
for him. Then he knocks my legs apart and slowly enters me.
"Fuck," I gasp out, laying my head against the wall. He moves slowly,
way too slowly. "Harder," I yell out in frustration.
Court molds his front to my back, pushing me into the wall. Then he
gives it all he's got, causing me to slam into the wall over and over
again. I throw my head back and let out a shout when I come, hard.
Court is right behind me.
We lay against the wall breathless and sweaty. "I think it's time to take
a shower. We're starting to stink," I say.
Court bangs against the wall. "How you like it up close and personal,
Channing?"
Channing bangs against the wall and I laugh. "You two are fucking
sick," comes muffled through the wall.
I think we' ll have our house back to ourselves quite soon.

Five
Royal
A little foot kicks me. I pop open my eyes and look down to see Wes's
stomach pressed up against me. I smile at one of my kids even though I
know they can't see. She's gotten big the past couple of weeks. But
there are two kids in there instead of one. Grayson has been hovering
over her like a mother hen. I have been too so Wesley is about to go
crazy.
This week marks her thirty-four weeks pregnant. Or however you say
it. Wes is a bit peeved since Paisley and Rach aren't as big as she is.
You can't explain to a pregnant woman, especially one with twins, that
she's going to be bigger because there are two kids in there.
"Hi," she says while I'm looking down at her stomach.
I look up and grin at her. "Royal junior kicked me. I guess he decided it
was time to get up. "
Wes rolls her eyes at me. "We aren't naming one of our kids Royal
junior. They'll have their own names. I just haven't decided what those
are yet. "
She gets an ultrasound every week but the babies refuse to get in the
right position to tell what sex they are. It's a lot harder to pick out four
names than it is to pick out two. Wesley wants to wait anyways
considering she wants to meet them before naming them. I guess I can
see the sense in that.
"You can take your time. You still have six weeks." I kiss her on the
temple and climb out of bed. The carpet is nice and soft but cold so I
race over to my dresser to pull out some socks. I seriously hate the cold.

"Dad said I'll most likely go into labor early. At some point there really
won't be any room for these babies to move around." She rolls around
until she gets into the right position to get off the bed. I move around it
to help her but she waves me away. "I can do it. All the hovering is
really starting to get under my skin. I'm not an invalid."
I grab her shoulders and use a finger to make her look up at me. "No
one thinks you're an invalid. But you are a tiny woman and you're
pregnant with twins that come from half of me. They are big and you 're
more at risk with twins than you would be with one kid. I know you
don't like all the hovering but I'm scared shitless. Remember that,
please, girl. "
She blinks up at me and then the tears start rolling down her face. When
Wes and I first became friends she used to cry all the time. She thought
she was hiding it from me, from everyone, but we saw it. So her crying
all the time now brings back horrible memories for me. She' d gained
enough weight to be healthy before the pregnancy, but I remember
when she was stick thin and gaunt. It took everything in me not to force
feed her eight times a day. Then I remember seeing her in the hallways
at school after she had her breakdown. She was covered in Band-Aids
and she was limping because her feet were fucked up. Not to mention
she looked haunted. I don't blame her for all that because losing Trey
like she did would fuck anyone up. I just don't want her to end up in that
place again. She doesn't handle strong emotions all that well.
"You don't have to worry, Royal. I'm not going to go nuts simply
because I have a lot of hormones in my system right now." She takes a
deep breath and leans in to kiss my shoulder. "Right now I'm just
happy. I love it when you get all-stern with me and put me in my place.
It lets me know I'll always have you there to fix me."
I swallow down the tightness in my throat and pull her into my arms. I
hold her for a little while and then I start swaying in a slow dance. I sing
"Make You Feel My Love" the Adele version. It' s Wesley's favorite
song.
It's true though, there isn't a thing I wouldn't do for her. I'd cut off my
own foot if it made her happy. But with her sweet gentle personality I
doubt she'll ever ask me to do that.

"I love that song," she whispers when I'm done. "You do Adele such
sweet justice. "
I bark out a laugh and bend down to kiss her cheek. "I don't know about
that. That lady has some pipes. "
"Yeah she does. But you love the music and it shows when you sing. It
makes it so fucking magical." She beams up at me while she heads into
the bathroom. We have a baby shower to get to. The girls decided to
have a huge one for all four babies. At least Paisley and Rach know
what they' re having. Unlike us.
"Come on, I need you to wash my legs! " Wes shouts from the
bathroom.
I shake my head and walk into the room. She has pulled her nightgown
over her head and is now completely naked. She's sexy as fuck when
she's not pregnant but while she's pregnant? I guess since they' re my
kids, I find her irresistible. I want to do it more now than I did when we
first got together. And back then it was a lot. I remember the weekends
we used to get away with staying in bed all day.
I take off my boxers and climb into the shower behind her. I wash
myself as Wes washes all the places she can reach. When we' re done I
get down on my haunches and wash her feet and then her legs. While I'
m down there I decide she should have a very happy morning so I stick
my face right at the apex of her thighs.
She gasps above me and her hands go right into my hair. It took me
months to get her to let me eat her out. I didn' t understand why she
didn' t want to try it. Turns out, Trey wasn' t a fan. Back then I had to
remind her that Trey and I are different people. I'm only glad she knows
the difference now.
I throw one of her legs over my shoulder and use my mouth to suck on
her clit. I hear her panting and moaning above me. I use a finger to sink
in and out of her tight channel. It helps speed things up. I use my other
hand to stroke up and down on my dick. Her hands damn near rip the
hairs out of my head when she comes. Pregnancy has its advantages.
Like Wes gets off faster and harder.
I stand up and watch as she opens her eyes to smile up at me. "Did you
like that Duchess?" I murmur, splaying my hands on her hips.

"Yes," she replies as I slowly spin her around. It's difficult to have sex
with her belly but we make it work. Most days we end up standing up in
the shower because it's the best fit for both of us.
I place my foot on the side of the tub and slowly enter her from behind.
She's bent a little at the waist so her belly doesn't slam into the wall.
She's wet and hot and it feels so fucking good. I feel her all over and it
brings tingles to my spine. I'm worked up real good this morning. I
thrust into her gently because I don't want to hurt her.
"You can...you can go faster...you won't hurt me...I promise." Her
hands leave the wall and reach behind her to reach for my ass.
I stick my face into her neck and thrust faster. She starts crying out and
I clench my teeth to stop myself from coming. I move my hand down
her body and end up right between her legs. I flick her clit back and
forth until I feel her convulsing around me. Then I let go, throwing my
head back and everything.
We lean against the wall in the aftermath, panting and trying to catch
our breath. "You' re going to kill me," I state, nuzzling into her neck.
She chuckles and rubs her hands up and down my sides. "You started it.
You can' t just stick your face near my vagina and expect nothing to
happen. "
I laugh hard at that one and finally move to turn the water off. "Let' s go
get ready. If we' re late to the shower, Rachel might bite both our heads
off. "
My sister has gotten quite bitchy during this pregnancy. I think all the
stress of what happened with Donovan is a part of that. Add in the fact
that no one has heard from him, makes her even more unhinged. She
isn' t scared if that' s what you' re thinking. More like she wants to plant
her foot up his ass and cut off his sack. I don' t blame her one bit. He
could have destroyed her relationship with Pierce and Asher. He could
have done a lot more damage than he did. Hell, he almost did. I never
thought she was going to go home to Pierce. Even after she found out
about the new baby it still took her a month to get back to him.
"Do you think Donovan will ever show back up? " I step out of the
shower and grab Wes' s towel. I look at her while she bites her lip. I

won't get mad at her for asking the question we've all been asking in our
heads. He used to be her friend and they are cousins. It's only natural
for her to worry about what will happen to him. I just know she'll never
stop what' s bound to happen nor will she hide information from the
rest of us.
"You'll be the first to know. You know you'll be the one he contacts
first." And that's true. Wes will be the only person in his family that
will handle him with care. She won't accuse him of anything and she
won't fight him. But then again she was never in any kind of danger
from him.
"That's what I'm worried about." She starts chewing on her fingernail
and I smack her hand away. "Sorry. I just get so nervous about the
whole thing. I want to tell him to run away and stay away, yet I want to
beat the shit out of him. It's all very conflicting. Plus, I want to watch
Rach hand him his ass. That should add up to some good drama. We
haven't had any of that in a while."
I wouldn' t say that. Channing and Paisley are still at odds even though
they are bringing a kid into the world. It seemed they were going to
make it work and they were together all the time when she first found
out, but now they barely speak to each other. Between Wesley, Rachel
and Channing it's a wonder I haven't run screaming in the opposite
direction.
"I think we'll have plenty of drama today. Channing said he was
coming to the shower. Who knows how Paisley will take that, since he
won't answer her calls anymore."
Wesley sneers at me. "Those two need to grow the fuck up. They have a
kid on the way. So what she won't marry him. We have that figured out.
Kiss and make up because we all know neither one of them will ever
love anyone else. I'm about fed up with all this stupid shit." She tugs on
her shirt with a little more force then she should have used.
I cover a laugh and sit down on the bed next to her. "One of these days,
they will figure it all out. Look at what having Asher did for Rachel.
She got all mature and shit real fast. Plus, she's had enough of it herself,
so it's bound to get fixed by her. There's only so much crap she's willing
to let them put themselves through."
It took Rach and I a long time to forgive Paisley. I don't know if

we truly have. Channing has been a huge part of our lives for years; he'
s like the third to our triplets. And Paisley hurt him more than he's ever
been hurt. But she's come back and asked for forgiveness. She's put the
effort in to making everything alright. Channing just has a stick up his
ass, not that I blame him. I just know I want him to be happy and he
needs her for that. Plus, we don't need another tragic story like Lily and
Channing's dad. The circumstances are different but if either Channing
or Paisley chose to move on, they would only hurt that person. Those
two could never stay away from each other forever. They'd die of a
broken heart.
We finally get dressed and I play Candy Crush on my phone while
Wesley does her makeup and hair. Then we head down to the car and
drive over to my parent's house. The driveway is full of cars so we have
to park on the street.
"You want me to go get the golf cart?" I ask once we get out of the
car.
Wesley huffs. "You're supposed to walk while you're pregnant. It helps
when it's time to give birth. So no, I do not want you to go get the golf
cart." Then she starts striding up the driveway like it's nothing.
My girl is crazy. But I love her no matter what she throws at me.
My mom greets us at the door and she gives Wesley an extra long hug.
She knows what it's like to be pregnant with twins. They have a bond
the rest of us can't understand. So I guess I share one with my Dad since
he had to go through it too. He knows it too since he hands me a beer
the second I see him in the living room.
There are three chairs in front of the fireplace. One is pink, one is red
and the other is green. They have balloons tied to the armrest and each
one has a name. The pink for Rachel, the red for Paisley and the green
for Wesley. There are pink and blue wrapped presents everywhere plus
three huge cakes made out of diapers.
Channing heads right for me when I walk into the room. I nod at him
and he stops to stand next to me. "I thought there would be actual cake.
Not ones made out of diapers. I'm disappointed."
Channing chuckles and points to the other side of the room. "The real
cake is over there. It has the girls standing with their feet on our

stomachs while we lay on the ground. "
I make a face at him and move over to the other side of the room. There
is in fact a cake with Rachel, Wesley and Paisley standing over Pierce,
Channing, and Me. I try to figure out how that makes me feel but I
guess as funny cakes go, it works. It certainly does make me laugh.
Kellan and Brody walk over to us, Brody holding a screaming two year
old. I can't believe how many kids him and Lola have. It's made his
grandfather really happy to have a house full again. "She doesn' t look
happy at all," I tell Brody, referring to his screaming daughter.
Brody sighs and sets the kid down, only to hold onto her arm. "She
wants to eat the cake. "
Haven, his daughter, screams really loud and wrenches out of his grip.
"And now she's gone," Channing states as we watch the little girl run
for the cake.
Brody runs after her while the three of us laugh our asses off. "I don't
know what you two are laughing at. That's you in the future." Pierce
walks up to us, Asher riding on his back. I stick my fist out and the little
boy bumps his into mine.
"Dad said I could eat three pieces if I left it alone until after Mommy
gets some." Then Asher gives me a cheesy grin.
"That's probably a wise decision, considering she's a bit grumpy all the
time," Channing says, rubbing the kid on his head.
Asher frowns and looks over at his mom. "The new baby makes her
that way. I can't wait until he's here. Then maybe she'll be less
joyful."
I look at Pierce and see him wince. "I accidently called her bitchy in
front of him the other day. Then I had to explain to him for an hour that
we can' t call Rach bitchy. We should call her joyful. "
Channing and I snicker while Pierce glares at us. Channing opens his
mouth to say something when someone lets out a shriek. Chills race up
my spine and I whip around to see Wesley falling to the floor. I don' t
even think I just run to her. I shove a few people out of the way but I
don't notice who it is. "What's wrong, girl?" I ask once I get to her.
"My water broke. Oh my god this shit hurts!" she screeches, causing a
few of the kids in the room to cry. "Don't just stand there, you

idiots! Get me to the hospital! I need drugs!"
I blink at her for a few seconds and hold back my laughter. "Okay
Duchess. You need to get off the floor first. "
Grayson appears at my side and I can tell he's holding back his laughter
too. "I told you that you'd go early. Them babies are getting too big to
be in there." He grabs one of her hands and I grab the other. Then we
help her off the floor.
People part like Moses and the Red Sea but mostly because Wesley
cusses them out of the way. I forgot she has such a dirty mouth
sometimes. When we finally make it out the front door Wesley states,
"Now you can get the fucking golf cart. "
I chuckle the whole way into my parent's garage. When I pull it to the
front steps Wesley waddles to the thing and Grayson helps her into the
seat. Then he looks up at me. "Get her to the hospital. The rest of us will
be right behind you." And as he says that, Mom runs out of the house
with a bag, followed by Rachel and Pierce. Channing follows them out
the door holding Lily's purse while she carries Asher.
I help Wesley into the car once we make it there. She cusses at me the
whole way to the hospital for every bump or curve in the road. I calmly
tell her I can't help how the road is made. Then she bitches at me
because I'm going too slow when, in fact, I'm going over the speed
limit.
This is about the time I find blue lights shining in my rearview mirror. I
groan and pull over to the side of the road. "What the fuck are you
doing? I'm in fucking labor here, Royal!"
I take a deep breath before I cuss her right back out. "Well since there's
a cop behind us, I had to pull over or there'd be a high speed chase to
the hospital. "
She turns around in her seat and looks behind us like I'm lying or
something. Women. "Okay. Okay. "
I roll my window down as the officer approaches the vehicle. "Sir, did
you know you were going twenty over the speed limit? "
I give him a tight smile and point at my very unhappy wife. "Her water
broke. I'm sorry about the speeding but she's having twins and my
father-in-law, who's her doctor, would have a fit if I didn't get her to the
hospital as soon as possible. "

He grins at me while Wesley softly curses under her breath. And by
softly I mean she's using her outside voice, instead of screeching. "No
problem there, sir. We'll get you there." He turns to leave but stops and
looks back at me. "I assume these are all for you?" He points behind the
car.
I stick my head out the window and look back, only to see three cars
parked behind the officer's car. "Yes, sir. Those would be our family,
we were all at a three-person baby shower. "
He chuckles and walks back to his car. He waves me on ahead of him
and I pull back into traffic. He turns on his lights and his siren. "This
one will be a good story for our kids. They got an escort to the hospital.
You don't hear about that one every day."
"Just shut up and drive! Oh my god this fucking hurts! " She starts
breathing in through her nose and out her mouth. "They better give me
some fucking drugs and soon! "
I roll my eyes but only at the screaming. I know she's in pain simply
because she' s screaming. Though I don' t think it' s all that necessary.
We'll get there when we get there.
Five minutes later we pull through the emergency driveway and I stop
the car. I wave at the officer as he passes us. Dad comes out of nowhere
and we help get Wesley out of the car. Then he takes my car to the
parking lot while Wesley gets checked in. They put her in a wheelchair
and we have to take an elevator to the birthing floor or whatever they
call it.
They take her into her own room and ask me to wait outside while they
get her changed and checked over. I don't like that too much but
Grayson shows up shortly after in his scrubs and goes into the room.
That makes me feel better.
Channing comes through the door next, followed by Pierce, Rachel and
Paisley. Pierce and Channing stand on either side of me while the girls
find some chairs to sit in.
After ten minutes the nurses come out and let us into the room. I move
a chair next to Wesley's bed while the others move to the back of the
room where there is a table and chairs. Then we play the waiting game.
Wesley wants to do everything possible to have them naturally

because she read a cesarean can cause things to be wrong with the
babies breathing because it doesn't get pushed out during vaginal birth.
I don't know if that's exactly what she told me but I know it was along
those lines.
I love my wife and I love my kids but you can't expect me to remember
everything she tells me or that I read.
About six hours after we got here, Wesley's dilated enough for an
epidural. After that the screaming and carrying on stops. She actually
seems pretty stoned to me but I don't tell her that. She wanted the pain
to stop and it did.
Six hours after that it's time for her to push. Grayson kicks everyone out
of the room except for Wes's mom and me. Bentley sneaks his way into
the room and Grayson pretends not to see him. The four of us are
terrified for Wesley. I just hope nothing goes wrong at this point.
I hold one hand while Jenny holds the other. Bentley stands above her
mopping sweat off her face. She pushes and she pushes for what feels
like years but can only be twenty minutes. Then Grayson says he can
see a head. Wesley gives a huge push and out comes the most beautiful
little girl I've ever seen in my life. Grayson clears her mouth and she
starts screaming. "We have one girl." He hands her off to the waiting
nurse and they take her over to this table thing with a light over it. They
measure her and check her over.
I just can't stop staring at her. She has brown eyes just like me, but she's
so small like Wesley.
Wesley looks exhausted. I bend over her and give her a long kiss.
"Have you thought of a name yet?"
She glares at me and then gives me a look. "Dad another contraction."
I move out of the way and grab her hand while Grayson asks her to
push. Four minutes later Wesley pushes out another little miracle. This
time it's a boy. Grayson clears his mouth but he doesn't start screaming
like his older sister. He just looks around him until he finds me. Then
he takes a leak all over his grandfather. Which has Bentley and I
bursting out laughing.
Grayson takes the little boy over to the nurse who has his sister.

The little girl finally stops crying when her brother is laid next to her.
"Are they okay?" Wesley asks, looking around her legs at them.
"The boy has a little bit of jaundice. Nothing too serious. Other than
that they are perfectly healthy." Grayson beams at her. "You did good,
baby bear. "
The afterbirth is not worth even talking about. Pierce told me it was like
watching Rach give birth to an alien pod. So I chose to focus on my
kids during that part.
Much later, after everyone has gone home and it's just the four of us,
Wesley finally agrees on names. "Maribel Adele Sanders and Maximus
Adam Sanders." I send it out in a mass text to all the people waiting on
my wife to pick out the names.
Then as Wesley falls asleep I hold them both in my arms. Max holds
onto my finger the whole time while Mari drools on my shoulder.
It' s the happiest day of my whole fucking life.

Channing
I walk into Royal and Wesley's house to find them both bouncing a
baby in their arms. The twins seem to be asleep but they still shush me
when I enter the room. I stand in the doorway while Royal lays baby
Max into his bassinet. He backs away slowly keeping his eye on the
sleeping baby. When it seems he's going to stay asleep he waves me
towards the backyard.
We sit down in the wicker chairs sitting right off the back porch. Royal
groans once his ass hits the seat. "I know they are only two days old,
but shit, they seriously don't want to sleep."
I want to laugh but that seems inappropriate. Plus, it seems like bad
karma considering I have a kid due in a few weeks. "I can imagine. "
Royal leans all the way back in the chair and closes his eyes. "Wes says
they'll start at some point. Just not any time soon. I'm so glad I got a few
weeks leave myself. This is going to be hard to get used to."
"I was wondering the other day how you got stuck with the twins
considering Rachel was always the worse one. Seems she should be
paying for her raising, not you." And that is seriously true. Royal and I
didn' t do a whole lot that we could get in trouble for. We mostly played
cop and robber or swam in either of our pools. Rachel threw tantrums
constantly and followed us everywhere. She used to wear her good
clothes outside to play with us and get them covered in dirt. And she
used to pull pranks on everyone. She was a down right terror.
Royal shrugs. "Years ago I would say it's because she married Pierce,
but I like the guy now so I won't say that. It's probably because she
could handle it with her arms tied behind her back. She's badass like
that."
I smile and lean my head all the way back into the chair. That's about
the time Royal decides to get serious. "You need to go and fix

everything with Paisley. And I mean all of it. Not just some of it, all of
it. You two will never love anyone else, no matter what you do. And
you have a kid coming and I know it will be an infant, but they sense
things and you two not being together is just wrong." I open my eyes
and turn my head to look at him. His soulful brown eyes stare back at
me with all the secrets I thought I was holding. "We all know you love
her. We all know you want to be with her. You' re the only one holding
back. Yes, she hurt you, but we've all been hurt by our women. Hell,
Rach left Pierce while she was pregnant and with no good excuse other
than he didn' t want to share some seriously painful memories. Wesley
almost went to the underworld because she couldn't let go of a dead
guy. Yeah, Trey was a good dude and she didn't deserve to lose him,
but I was alive and breathing. I was standing right in front of her trying
to fix her. Look at Ash and Damien. I could keep going on and on. You
deserve to be happy, Channing. It's been over a year and she's paid
enough penance. Pull your head out of your ass and go get back
together." Then he stands up out of the chair, pats me on the shoulder
and walks back into the house.
When she first found out she was pregnant, Paisley and I spent a lot of
time together. But I couldn't just let it go. It kept eating at me. I don't
care what she says, you leave someone at the altar, you refuse their
hand in marriage, and it's a hard pill to swallow. That kind of rejection
is serious. It's one thing to turn down a proposal, but to commit to that
proposal then back out on it without even talking to the other, is a
serious offense.
She hurt me, more than I ever thought she could. It put a lot of things
into perspective for me. I realized how much power she had over me,
how much she meant to me. I knew I loved her. I knew I'd loved her
pretty much since the moment I met her, that's why I ran in the opposite
direction. She scares the shit out of me, more now than when we first
met. What if she hurts me again? What if she hurts our child by taking
off?
I couldn't handle all those thoughts so I ran. I stopped going over to her
house and I stopped answering the phone. I shut her out just the way
she shut me out. Love is a fickle son of a bitch. I think I know down

to my bones I could never love anyone else. Not with my whole heart.
Paisley will always own a huge chunk of it and that will just get in the
way of another relationship. She's my one and only.
I hate that and I love it. She's still so confusing and I don't know what
she's thinking. I used to be able to read her like a book but now it's like
she's closed herself off to me. Or maybe I just close myself up to much.
I get up off the chair and walk through the gate to go back to my car. I
see Wesley standing in the window holding Mari. She grins at me and
waves when I get into my car. I blow her a kiss and shut the door. Then
I back out of the driveway and head to Paisley's house. I always find
myself heading to her house. Though I don't have the guts to get out of
the car and knock on her door. I associate Paisley with love and pain
now. She isn't just love. She has a shroud of pain around her now too.
And the both of us put it there.
I park in her driveway and I stare out into nothing. I don't even know
what to say. How do I fix this and how do I let her know I want her but
I'm scared she'll hurt me again? I see a napkin sitting on the floor of my
car. I bend over to pick it up and then I dig around in the center console
for my pen. I always have a pen so I can write down ideas I have about
my books.
Then I write down the words I can't say in person. I write her a poem;
much like I did the night I realized she was the one.
Why is it so hard to be in love with you? I see all the future I need in
your eyes Yet I'm lost and adrift at sea Maybe that's your fault or
maybe it's mine Ijust know I love you
I've loved you with all my heart since the moment I met you You took a
piece of me and I've yet to get it back The piece that's missing is the one
that trusted you How do I get that back?
I wanted you to see the damage you' ve inflicted

I never meant to hurt you as well
I only wanted you to hurt but I never wanted to follow through
I look at you and only see love and pain
Broken hearts and battered brains
Can we fix ourselves?
I think we can, if only I get that piece back
So have trust in me to have trust in you
When I finally get the nerve to get out of my car, Maggie comes
running up to me. I bend down and stick my face in her neck. I wasn' t
supposed to have a dog considering Margret is allergic to them, so I
talked Kellan into letting his grandparents take her in so she would still
be close enough. I just never thought she would become more Paisley' s
than she was mine. I used to sit out in the woods with her and I'd talk to
her for hours. Once upon a time she held all my secrets.
I find a paper clip in my car and I pin the poem to Maggie's collar. Then
I have her scratch at the front door. I move away from the door and
crouch behind a bush. I peek through the limbs and find Paisley
opening the door. Her belly is fucking huge now and I almost worry she
has two babies in there instead of one. She bends down to pet Maggie
and takes the napkin off her collar.
She reads the poem and I see tears leaking out of her eyes. I hate it
when she cries. It's like someone took my heart and decided to play
kickball with it. She stands up and looks around. I take a deep breath
and I stand up from behind the bush. She's wearing a pair of yoga pants
and a black sweater. The sweater might be a little too small for her
considering a little of her stomach is peeking out from the bottom.
I move towards her and I find my hand lands on that part of her
stomach. "Let's get you inside before you catch a cold."
She takes careful steps backwards but I have a tight grip on her. That
makes me feel a brick load of regret. Even if I'm pissed at her, that
shouldn't be an excuse not to make sure she's okay. I mean she is
carrying my kid. It's my job to protect her and the kid. I'm such a
douchebag.
That's about the time she slaps me across the face. I want to say it's

the slap heard around the world but she starts yelling at me long before
anyone else can hear it. "You douche canoe!"
"What the fuck did I do?" I shout back, watching as she sits down on
the couch.
"I'm pregnant. I'm scared. And you can't get your fucking head on
straight." She huffs out a breath and crosses her arms over her chest. "I
know I hurt you. God do I know that. Everyone and their mothers have
let me fucking know how much I hurt you. But we're about to have a
kid, you'd think I would deserve a little more courtesy than I've been
getting." She puts her head in her hands and sobs.
I feel like a truck hit me. It's hard to understand anyone else is in pain
when that's all you feel. I didn't realize I could be hurting her this much.
I was too selfish. I sink down to my knees in front of her. I wrench her
hands away from her face and make her look at me. "You broke my
fucking heart Paisley. None of this shit is easy. I want to be with you
most days but others I kind of wish you'd disappear and never come
back. I can't simply let all that pain go because you got pregnant. That's
not how life works. Life is complicated and feelings matter."
Her hand comes up and lands on the cheek she slapped, this time
gently. "What you can't seem to understand is I hurt myself as well. I
left you behind and you are my other half. I'm not a whole person when
I'm not with you. I feel like I've spent the past year and nine months
looking for you when you were right here. I just didn't know it at the
time."
"That's the problem. I've always been here. I never left, you did. And
everyone expects me to forgive and forget that just because you 're
pregnant. That' s just not how I see it. " I reach up and wrap my hand
around her wrist. I stare into her blue-green eyes and I lose a bit of
myself. "You promise me, you promise me on everything you hold
dear in this world that you'll never leave me again, and I won't ever
walk out that door without telling you when I'll be back."
I use my other hand to wipe away a few tears leaking out of her eyes. "I
promise you. I don't ever want to leave again, no matter what happens.
I'm so fucking sorry I did in the first place."
I put my forehead on hers and I stare at her. "I won't ever ask you to
marry me again. That ship has sailed, but if you feel like having my

last name, we can go to the courthouse and get married that way. But
there won't ever be another big affair like everyone else had."
She looks sad for a second but I know it's because she lost out on that
chance. And that's the reason I got hurt in the first place. "Maybe one
day I'll have enough courage for that."
"I don't care about that any more. I just want you to be with me. Living
in the same house and sharing my life. It's the same fucking deal
anyway." I don't let her reply, I just start kissing her.
We go to the bedroom and we make love as a soft rain starts to fall
outside. It's almost like the first time we did. With the rain outside and
the new way her body feels. Every touch feels like the first time and
every whimper or moan from her mouth is like new music to my ears.
I missed the way she tastes and the way she is in bed. No one could ever
possibly measure up to her. I was stupid the past six months. Just the
way she was stupid when she left me in the first place. Somehow
though I' ve learned to let it all go. I' ve learned that pain and love are
one in the same. The person you love the most in the world has the
power to destroy you or make you.
And Paisley Vaughn has always made me.
***
"Ohhh," Paisley moans beside me in the early morning light.
Then I feel something kicking into my back. The feeling is strange
considering it's coming from Paisley's stomach.
I turn over in our bed and stare down at her. With the soft light I can see
a little foot imprinted under her skin. I can't help it when I reach down
to touch her there. I feel it then, something I've never felt before. She's
gotten to carry our kid with her for the past nine months but I have yet
to feel like the kid was a real thing.
I'm going to be someone's dad. There's a little person in there that will
put all their hopes and dreams in my hand. I'll be responsible for all
their happiness and love. It's a humbling thing to think about. And I
realize I can't find a memory in my head that makes me more happy
than

right now.
"Does the baby wake you up like this often? " I ask softly, watching as
my kid's foot slides along my palm from under Paisley's smooth skin.
"She does. She's a very active little thing. Plus, I keep having these
crazy dreams that make no sense at all. Those wake me up more than
she does." She yawns and smothers her mouth with her hand.
I know she knew what we were having but I never thought to ask. Not
because I didn't care but mostly because I didn't want to speak to
Paisley. It might be heartless of me but I wasn't ever clear headed while
Paisley and I weren't together. Pain and remorse seemed to guide all
my actions.
"So we're having a girl?" I ask when she gets done yawning.
She smiles at me then and lifts a hand up to run through my hair. "We're
having a girl. I haven't picked out a name yet. I wanted to do that with
you. "
"I wanna name her Ashley. And I want the older Ashley to be the
godmother." I have yet to move my hand from Paisley's stomach. I just
feel so goddamn proud and I haven't even met my daughter yet.
Paisley's hand comes down to lay over mine. I look up at her and see
her grinning at me. "Ashley will love that. And I've always liked the
name. So Ashley Margret Southerland finally has a name. "
I raise an eyebrow. "So she gets my last name?"
She laughs and the baby kicks me again. "Well duh. She's your
daughter and just because we aren't married doesn't mean she should
have my last name. "
I rise up a bit and smack a kiss on her lips. "That makes me incredibly
happy. "
Later, after she's fallen back to sleep, I gently get off the bed and walk
into the living room. I find my pants along the way and pull out my cell
phone. I almost start dialing a number but then I realize I'm naked. You
really shouldn't call your sister while you're naked. I put my pants on
then I call her.
"Oh, who is this? I seem to have forgotten just who Channing is.
Damien do you know?" is how my sister answers the phone. I hear
Damien's muffled laughter in the background.

I roll my eyes. Ever since she got with him, she's been a completely
different person. One I like a whole hell of a lot more than who she was
pretending to be with Victor. "You' re really funny there. I was calling
to tell you some good news but since you want to be an asshole about it.
"
"Wait! Now you've peaked my interest. Spill it all out to your sissy
Ashley." I hear her laugh but it's followed by something Damien says.
I take a deep breath all while smiling. "Well, Paisley and I have finally
put the past behind us. And she told me we're having a girl."
"Squee! It's about time we get some more girls around here. What with
Rach having another boy. That poor girl. I can't imagine having to live
with Courtney and then two mini little Courtney's. Their house must be
the most brooding place ever! " She giggles at herself and I find myself
snorting.
"It's actually not all that bad. But I have another little piece of info you
need to hear." She stops laughing long enough for me to tell her the rest
of it. "We picked out a name. Are you ready for this? "
"Yes! Just fucking tell me already! "
I roll my eyes and spill the beans. "Ashley Margret Southerland. And
you get to be the godmother. "
She screeches in my ear and I take the phone away from my face and
make sure I'm not bleeding. "Jesus. Was the screeching all that
necessary?"
"Yes you big idiot! This is the best news ever. There's going to be a kid
named after me. That makes me righteous! "
"You've always been righteous. It just took the rest of us a long time to
see it. Plus, I wanted to thank you for always trying to do what' s best
for me. I know I haven't always been the best brother in the world, but
I'm so happy you've let me make up for that."
I hear her sniffle. Then she says, "I'm not crying unhappy tears! These
are happy tears stop threatening Channing. He's made me more happy
than you today. "
I sigh as the two of them start bickering on the phone. Paisley comes
out of our bedroom with a pink shirt that states, "My kid has a hot
Daddy, so she already looks better than you," and some yoga pants.

"That's an interesting shirt," I tell her and she smiles. "What's an
interesting shirt?"
"Nothing Ashley. Paisley just got up so I'm gonna go. I love you and I'
ll see you later. "
She sniffles again. "Love you too lil bro! " Then we disconnect.
"I take it she was happy about the name? " Paisley asks as she sits down
next to me with a huge glass of milk.
I nod and place my hands on her stomach and turn her to lay against
me. "She started crying and all that shit. And Damien probably
threatened to kill me, so she told him I made her happier than him
today. I don't want to even imagine what in the world she meant by
that."
"She probably meant sex." I lean in and bite her neck for that remark.
"Ouch. You bastard. "
"Don't talk about my sister's sex life. That's more than I need to hear,
ever." I shudder just having one thought in my head.
Paisley giggles after taking a sip of her milk. "Can I ask you a
question?"
"You can ask me anything," I whisper into her ear.
She takes a deep breath and moves out of my arms. Then she looks at
me with serious eyes. "I know I have made some serious mistakes in
my life when it comes to you. But I should have seen that they were
mistakes and I could have handled it all better. I should have just told
you I didn't want to get married instead of taking off and pretending I
didn' t exist for an entire year. "
I lift my arms to cup her cheeks. "Baby, we need to put all that behind
us. The past is the past and right now we're so fucking happy. I want to
stay that way for as long as possible. "
She smiles and moves in to put her forehead on mine. "I know, I just
want us to be happier. So I was thinking we could go to the courthouse
today and get married. No big fuss or anything. We'll have to bring
everybody of course because they'll all get pissed if we do it without
them. "
"Are you sure that's what you want? I mean, I've wanted to marry you
for like the past seven years but you have all these horrible thoughts in
your head about marriage, I don't want you to make a mistake." I

really don' t want her to hurt me again. And the only way that would
happen is if she got scared and she only seems to be scared of marriage.
Go figure.
She nods against me. "You want it. And I want to make up for the shit
I've put us both through. I swear this time I'll be standing there with
you. I won't run. And I couldn't get very far anyway because it's very
difficult to run with this baby belly. "
I pretend to think about it for a few seconds but then I grin. "As long as
you hold my hand the whole time. That way if you need to run, I can
run with you. "
"Deal."

Rachel
Don't ask me how I ended up riding to the courthouse with Channing. I
guess it's because he was at the house getting ready since most of his
clothes are still there. He was ready and I was ready so I rode with him.
Court took his lunch break to go, so he came straight from the school.
I'm happy I did though. I never would have made it through the day
without Channing. I swear he's my guardian angel or something.
Heaven knows I need one.
We were late, probably because Channing had to stop at a gas station so
I could go pee. This baby seems to want to lay on my bladder and I
literally have to go every five minutes. It's gotten incredibly
inconvenient.
So I'm trying to get my fat ass out of Channing's jag. The damn thing is
so low to the ground and I'm having trouble lifting myself out. Plus, I'm
wearing a dress so I can't just throw my legs out without showing off all
the goods.
Channing races around the car and I finally get out of the car by using
him as a lever. I give Channing brownie points considering he didn' t
make a noise while he lifted me out. No grunts or groans. Hell he didn'
t even take a big breath the athletic fucker.
When we start going up the stairs is when my problems come to a head.
Luckily I' m nine months pregnant and full of rage hormones, or this
day could have ended a whole lot worse.
I'm looking down at the steps because I can't see my feet and I don' t
want to trip. That would be very bad. I want to get this kid out of me but
not before he's ready. And yes, I'm having ANOTHER boy. Since I
plan to have only two kids, I guess I don't get my dream of a little
Rachel running around. Oh well, beggars can't be choosers.
Channing stops me about halfway up the stairs. "Rachel, get behind

me," he says, his voice the most serious I've heard in a very long time.
I look up to see what's made him this way and look straight into the
green eyes of Donovan Pierce. He looks so much like my Court, or
maybe it's the other way around considering he's the older Pierce
brother. It doesn't really matter. I see one brother when my eyes are
open and the other when my eyes are closed. Only one of those is a
good thing. Nightmares come with pregnancy and I' m having horrible
ones thanks to the trauma this asshole inflicted on me.
"Donovan, just let us pass," Channing says calmly, like I'm not right
beside him freaking the fuck out. I want to walk right up to that asshole
and punch him in the nuts, but I also want to run in the opposite
direction as fast as my swollen feet can carry me.
"I' m glad to see you and Courtney worked things out, " Donovan states
while we have this strange stare down. I feel my lip curl up in complete
disgust. He should be glad I worked it out with Court or I'd kill him
dead right here.
Channing stiffens next to me, and it's surprising because I didn't think
he could get stiffer. It's like the boy hasn't taken a shit in a week. Now
he's inching in front of me like Donovan is going to pull out a gun and
shoot us. The guy might be an asshole but I doubt he's going to shoot
us. I didn't go to the cops with what he did, mainly because I know
emotionally he wasn't in his right mind. All that hate and revenge
festered in his soul for five long ass years. That kind of anger can make
you do unspeakable things. Donovan was a good man before Annabella
walked into his life. I think both the Pierce men were amazing before
that bitch became a part of them. She did things to them emotionally I
just can't understand.
Donovan's green eyes aren't filled with hate anymore. No, they look
downright regretful and sorry. What happened was awful but it could
have been so much worse. "You can say you're sorry for what
happened, Donovan. And know I forgive you but I'll never forget and
I'll never heal from the wounds you inflicted upon me. I didn't deserve
to get pulled into your revenge. I wasn't even around when the shit with
Annabella happened. "
Donovan sighs and then he takes a step closer towards us.

Channing stops inching and actually jumps in front of me. "Calm down
Channing. I'm not going to do anything. I think I've caused enough pain
for one lifetime. "
"I don't really care. You took the trust of a great person and you used it
against them. You know I can hear her whimpering and moaning in her
sleep through the walls at our house. I hear what you did to her every
night while she relives it." He reaches down and grabs my hand. Maybe
he can feel me shaking from the adrenaline or maybe he just needs my
hand to stop his own fears. "You stay over there and we'll stay over
here. Someone will come out here eventually considering I' m
supposed to be getting married right now." And like fate is shining
down on us, both our phones start ringing. Neither of us check them. If
we don' t answer, our family will come out here. Either to make more
phone calls or to come looking for us.
I sense it in Donovan that he just wants me to understand. I never will
though. Maybe if I had been through what he did, maybe. But I didn' t
and I never will. Court was a different person when he was around
Annabella. She sucked all the good out of him and turned him into an
awful person. The second she was out of his life, everyone started
seeing the good in him. Especially me, since I'd had my eye on his
gorgeous self for quite some time. I'll never admit that aloud though,
that I had fantasies about my husband before we were even together.
Court's head is already big enough.
"You think she's actually here, Channing? What if she leaves you at the
altar again? Will it finally turn you into a monster? " Donovan' s words
bite but I know he just wants Channing to leave so he can say what he
needs to, to me.
I put my hand on Channing's shoulder and lift up a little bit. God he's
tall and you don't notice that until you're standing right behind him.
"Donovan just say what you need to say. Leave Channing out of this. "
His green eyes finally look back at me and I know he truly feels bad for
what he did. "I don't know what came over me, Rachel. I just couldn't
live with it anymore. I had to do something to get it out of me. I know I
handled it wrong. "
I nod. "You should probably think about talking out your problems

with the person who caused them. You and Court are brothers; it
shouldn't have been like this. He loves you and he will never
understand this. I' m his fucking wife. I' m not that crazy bitch slut
Annabella. And thank God for that. "
Donovan lifts up his hands and runs his fingers through his hair. "I
loved her, you know? I don't know why. Maybe all the bad in me liked
all the bad in her. She always had this spell over me and I couldn't ever
see what was truly in front of me. Then Courtney got a happy life and
Annabella did too." He looks up at me with tears in his eyes. "Where's
my happy ending?"
And just like that I feel bad for my attacker. Pain, grief, anger, take
your pick. They all cause us to do things we wouldn't normally do. I'm
not condoning his actions, believe me I would never do that. But I
understand his actions. It would be hard to look at the happy people
around you when you're so lonely and sad. I get that. It's the thing that
made me run to Court in the first place the night I got pregnant with
Asher.
"You should have been out looking for it, not dwelling on the past and
present. Yeah everyone is happy. You could have been too if you
weren't out looking for revenge. I hate it for you, I really do. But only
you can fix it, not me. All I can do is forgive you. And I do, I promise
that I do. But I, along with everyone else, will never let you be a part of
this family. You could have been happy with all of us, but now you get
left out in the cold. Because I promise you that no one else will ever
forgive you." I feel a tear slip out of my eye because I do feel bad for
him. We can blame it on pregnancy but that simply isn't true. This man
had his future ripped from him by the two people he loved the most.
That would make anyone crazy, but where others would be strong and
move on the right way, Donovan didn't.
I move around Channing. He looks down at me and nods. I move up the
stairs slowly, headed straight for Donovan. He looks surprised yet
scared. I don't really blame him. He should be scared of me. I have a lot
of anger inside of me because of this man.
"I spent a month away from my husband because of you. I pride myself
on knowing if someone is a bad person or a good person. I

always thought you were a good person. I couldn't comprehend that I
was wrong. I thought I brought that on myself, but in reality I didn' t do
anything wrong." I clench my fists by my sides and hold back the tears
I want to cry because of all this. It's frustrating that Paisley finally made
it to the "altar" and Channing hasn't. This is his big day finally and
Donovan stops it because he's a selfish fucking bastard. "You took
something from me that day and I'll never get it back. I'll be less
trusting of people and I won't ever drink at a bar again. You did that to
me."
He opens his mouth to say something but I can't hold it back anymore. I
throw my arm out and sock him right in the eye. He falls back and lands
on his ass while he covers his eye. Then I start kicking him while he's
down. I'm happy to report that his balls got a seriously hard kick.
Channing comes up behind me and pulls me away from him about the
time my husband and my brother come running out of the courthouse.
It's about time too. Only they got to miss the best part.
Court stares down at his brother with surprise on his face. Then he
looks up at me and smiles. "I always knew you were badass." Then he
literally walks over Donovan to get to me. His lips meet mine and I
smile. "God, I fucking love you. "
"I fucking love you too," I say against his mouth while he tries to stick
his tongue down my throat. Horny boy. I push him away from me and
look up at his face. "Paisley and Channing are finally at the right place
at the right time. Let's let them get married, please. We can worry about
Donovan later. "
Except there's a police officer walking over towards us. He looks both
awed and angry. "Ma'am I'm not quite sure what's going on over here,
but I saw you assault this man. I can't just walk away from that."
Royal moves down the steps until he's close to the officer. "This is my
twin sister. The man on the ground fell. Rachel just couldn't get out of
the way so she kicked him a few times trying to move. "
The officer raises both his eyebrows and looks down at Donovan. "Is
this true sir?" Donovan doesn't speak he just nods his head while he
cups his junk and groans.
"Alright then, y'all have a wonderful day." Then he grins and walks
away. Funny how he was here to watch me beat up Donovan yet

he didn't see Channing standing in front of me in a protective stance.
You'd think that would raise a few red flags.
Once he's out of sight, Royal reaches down and helps Donovan up. This
has me surprised until he cold clocks him in the head. Donovan goes
down like a ton of bricks. Then Royal spits on him. "You ever fucking
come near my sister again I'll fucking kill you."
"He's out cold, Royal. I don't think he can hear you," Channing states
while Court looks from Donovan to Royal and back again. "That was
my job!" he exclaims very loudly. Royal looks a little sheepish. "Sorry.
I thought once she got married and had kids I wouldn't feel this
overwhelming need to protect her. I guess I won't ever get over it."
I just shake my head. Then I look up to see Paisley waddle out of the
courthouse followed by a very slimmed up Wesley. It's seriously not
fair that she got pregnant after me yet she's already giving birth. But
then again thankfully I'm not having twins. I really don't want a little
pair of twins running around like Royal and me.
Wesley moves in by Royal and looks down at her cousin. "Jesus, how
long have y'all been out here beating him up? He looks like he got hit
by a fucking car!"
And she gets some brownie points when she kicks him in the gut.
Channing moves around all of us to get to Paisley. He puts his forehead
on hers and I grin real big. I never thought I'd see him do that again. It'
s a silly little thing but I have a romantic in my heart and she loves to
see things like this. It's like they block out the rest of the would and
have their own little private place. They would need to, considering
who they hang out with. "I'm sorry I'm late."
She nods and wraps her arms around his shoulders. "I was a little scared
you were going to leave me here, but when Rachel wouldn' t answer her
phone, I knew something was wrong. "
"I promised I wouldn't leave you today. And I seriously plan on
keeping that promise." Then he's kissing her and I look away because
that' s just creepy to be sitting here watching them make out.
"What do we need to do with him? " Royal nods down at Donovan
while he wraps an arm around Wesley's shoulders.

Court sighs and rubs a hand down his face. "Is Ma still inside?"
Before anyone can answer we hear Ashley call out behind us. That's
when I move in front of Donovan like that will hide him. I know I' m
big but I' m not that big. Maybe if I could get Paisley over here then
maybe it would work.
One thing I don't want to happen today is for Damien, Ashley's
husband, to take Donovan off somewhere and kill him. There' s a slim
chance that will happen. But then again you never know. He's fond of
me but he's got the biggest soft spot for Wesley. If it had been her,
Donovan would have been dead a long ass time ago.
Ashley' s black hair shines in the sun and her smoky blue eyes glitter
with a little mischief and a lot of happiness. "I see we aren' t-" Then she
gasps and covers her mouth.
Damien walks up behind her. Let' s just say Damien is MEGA hawt.
Like, he should be on the cover of every magazine that exists. His
blonde hair is cut close to his head but I've seen it longer. He's built like
a brick house and you just want to run your hands over all the muscles.
Plus he's got "Ashley" and "Glossy" tattooed on his neck. Glossy being
his nickname for Ashley.
Yeah so sue me, the guy is fucking hot.
"Who beat him up?" Damien asks, raising a brow and looking down at
Donovan.
Everyone points to me, even though half these people weren't out here
when that happened. "Royal knocked him out. And spit on him. "
Damien nods his head and looks impressed. "Gotta say, Rach, it's pretty
impressive you beat him up with that kid in the way. "
I forget how hot he is when he opens his mouth. His southern accent is
pretty thick considering we live in a huge ass city. We all still have one
of course but it's like he grew up on a farm in the middle of nowhere.
And he always seems to insult me when he talks to me. "Yeah well I
could beat him up while holding both my kids. And I could beat you up
too, jackass. "
Royal, Channing, and Court hold back laughter as Damien bites his lip
and grins at me. "Alright there, princess. No need to get your panties in
a wad. "

This time I sneer at him. "Don't talk to me anymore. I'm pregnant and
you're pissing me off."
This time Ashley bursts out laughing. "Careful there Rach, he'll start
getting ideas." Then she walks over to Channing and wraps her arms
around him. "How about we get someone to clean this up and go get
you married. I'm sorry we're late."
"We know," all of us say at the same time. These two are always late. I
don't want to know the reason even though Royal says they can't stop
fucking. This comment has gotten him backhanded a few times by me.
And Channing might have elbowed him in the gut.
Donovan comes to about then and looks up at us all. He doesn't say
anything though. There's not much he can say. Everyone knows what
he did and they now know he's sorry for it. That doesn't mean we'll
open our arms and welcome him back. In fact he's really lucky if his
mother doesn't kill him once she finds out he's here.
"You gonna live, Van?" Court asks, holding his hand out to help his
brother up.
Donovan nods and tentatively accepts his brother's hand. Court pulls
him up and they stand eye to eye. "I'm not going to hit you or yell at
you. You didn't do those things when I fucked up. Plus, you probably
have brain damage from the Sanders twins." Court puts his hands in his
pockets and looks at Donovan from under his lashes. "You could have
avoided all of this. You just had to talk to me, beat me up or shoot me.
Any of those would have done it. Hell, everyone would've forgiven you
for shooting me." He steps closer to Donovan and Donovan swallows,
hard. "You went after my wife. You made her feel like shit about
herself. You made her think it was all her fault. I'll never forgive you
for that. No one will but Rach herself because she's a good person like
that. The rest of us fall short when compared to her. And just know you
brought this on yourself. I didn't make you do any of this; so don't
blame me for it. There's a time and a place for revenge. And you missed
both." Then my husband turns around and walks back into the
courthouse.
The rest of us take his cue and leave Donovan standing alone on the
steps. I turn to see him staring down at his feet. Something tugs at my
heartstrings but I don't let it win. He really did bring this on himself. I

find I don't mind it so much after that. He'll find someone to love him.
He'll find happiness because he finally let all that anger go.
He walks away in one direction and I go in the other. I'll never see him
again, most of us won't. And just maybe I'll sleep a little better at night.
***
"You doing okay?" Wesley whispers to me while we stand at the back
of the room filled with all the people who love Channing and Paisley.
I smile at her and nod. I wasn't sure I would be. I spent months trying to
get over all of it. Then the second I saw him, the second I knew he was
remorseful, I knew there was hope for everything else. You can do
something horrible but the only way you can have redemption is by
being remorseful. If you feel bad for what you did and who you did it
to, you can get back to a normal place in your life. Those who don't feel
remorse and guilt, well I feel bad for them on judgment day.
Paisley and Channing hold hands the whole time. They started when
they met up outside and they haven't let go since. No one says anything
about it considering Channing's probably making sure she doesn' t bolt
for the door. From where I stand I don' t think she' s going anywhere.
She looks incredibly happy.
And I'm standing here in the middle of their little wedding when my
contractions start. I have to clench my teeth together to stop from
crying out. Wesley looks at me funny but I give her a strained smile.
She knows though, when she takes in how I look. She knows I'm about
to go into labor. Well, hopefully after this wedding. I really don't want
to ruin it for them.
Court stands next to Channing holding the rings. Royal probably would
have been up there but Court and Channing haven't gotten to spend
their whole lives as brothers. Most of those years were spent as
enemies. And that's funny how life flips on you like that. My husband
spent most of his life with one brother as an enemy and the other as his

friend. Now his best friend used to be the enemy and his friend is now
the enemy.
I start panting because these contractions are killer. My water hasn't
broken so there's no need to head to the hospital. They wouldn't admit
me anyway. Not until my water breaks or my contractions are closer
together. I hope one of those happens soon because this shit hurts.
Lily turns around and looks at me with an eyebrow raised. She moves
closer to me, trying not to draw attention to herself. She grabs my hand.
"Squeeze my hand. We'll get you through this. How close
together?"
God I love that my father is a doctor and my mother-in-law is a nurse. I
leave all the professional shit in their hands and all the worrying.
"Every eight minutes. "
I don' t listen to the words going on with the wedding; I just stand there
holding Lily' s hand. Finally they kiss and everyone cheers. That' s
about the time my water goes. "Oh thank god!" I screech out loud. This
startles everyone. "My water broke! Let' s go people!"
"I hate when she gets bossy. It means she's in a lot of pain," Court
mutters and I glare at him. "What? It's true G." He makes his way to me
and steers me out of the room while I hang on to his mother's hand. "Let
Ma go, Rach. We gotta get to the hospital. Everyone will meet us there.
"
I let Lily's hand go, only because there's a door coming up and all three
of us aren't going to fit.
Before we make it out of the building I turn around and spot the newly
married couple. "Congrats you two! I knew you'd make it to this day at
some point! "

Epilogue
Eighteen years later. . .
Max
She took it. I can't believe she actually took it. It's one of those things
that makes you want to punch a fucking hole in the wall. It' s not like I
could punch one into her face, considering my entire family would kill
me.
Maggie has been a pain in my ass since the day she was born. Not that I
remember much from then considering she' s a few weeks younger than
me and my twin sister Mari.
We' ve always had this hatred and rivalry between us. It' s always been
a game too. We always see who blows first or who tells on the other
first. I hate to say that she wins just as much as I do.
"Earth to Max! " I blink my eyes to see Seth snap some fingers in my
face. I glare at my first cousin. "Maggie took it didn't she?"
We have to call Seth and Maggie by their middle names since it gets
confusing. Seth is actually Channing Seth Pierce born to my Uncle
Pierce and Aunt Rachel. Maggie is actually Ashley Margret
Southerland born to Channing and Paisley Southerland.
I nod and slam my locker door shut. Luckily we only have three weeks
until graduation. I hate this school but mostly I hate that Maggie goes
here. It isn't bad enough she's a part of my huge ass family; I also have
to see her here. And she messes with me hard core in both places.

It probably doesn't help she looks just like her MILF momma, Aunt
Paisley. Long ass red hair, blue-green eyes full of fucking mischief,
and those legs that go on forever. Yeah, I've had the hots for Maggie
almost as long as I've hated her. I won't ever admit this to anyone out
loud but she gets inside my head in the worst way. I have trouble trying
to hook up with other girls because it feels... wrong somehow.
"You know you got to go get it. She'll ride this one for weeks if anyone
finds out." He opens his locker, which is right beside mine and almost
smacks me in the face with it.
I glare at it like maybe Seth can see through the damn thing. He looks
like a mixture of both his parents. Dirty blonde hair like his dad, brown
eyes like his mom, built like his dad but has his mom' s personality.
Which is awesome because I love my Aunt Rach to death.
I open my mouth to speak but I see the object of my torment turn the
corner and head towards us. She doesn't notice like she should because
she's probably digging around in her bag for her charcoals. The ones I
took while Mari distracted her in fifth period chemistry. My twin sister
is the best partner to have in any situation. She's up for anything and
she knows when to get away.
Now I know we're two different genders but I feel like she's my
identical twin. I always know where she is, it's a feeling I have. I can
map it down to when she's going to walk around a corner. I just sense
her. Mom says it's because we were so close together while she was
pregnant with us. I guess that could be true considering my mom is the
size of a Barbie. Plus Mari and I both have blonde hair and brown eyes.
While I' m tall like my dad, Mari is short like mom. Though our
features mix both of our parents well, we still look almost exactly alike.
Except my hair is short and Mari's is long.
Maggie stops in front of me when I put my foot out. She jerks her face
up and she glares daggers at me. "You took my charcoals, didn' t you?"
Then she puts her hands on those flared out hips. The ones I have an
itch about holding onto while she rides. Yeah so sue me, I'm a horny ass
teenage boy. What else is new?
I smile at her and wait the five seconds it takes for Mari to walk around
the corner. She stops, looks at us and bursts into a grin. "Maybe,"

I tell Maggie, sticking my hands into my pockets.
She sighs and takes out the object she took from me. "I don't know what
this is, but you can have it back. I need those charcoals. I have a project
due in my art class tomorrow. "
The object is an old ass copy of an Adele CD. I found it in Dallas a
couple of weeks ago. Adele is my mom's favorite singer and her
birthday is coming up. I wrapped it and put it in my locker because I
know she can't look there. I just didn't expect Maggie to break into my
locker and take it.
"No I don't have your charcoals." I walk right behind Maggie and make
sure I get all up in her personal space. My groin lines up perfectly with
her butt. I hear her sharp intake of breath. I lift my hand and point at
Mari who's almost upon us. "Mari has them, bad girl," I whisper against
her ear.
I don't really remember when it started but I've been getting up in her
personal space for a really long time. We've been screwing since we
were sixteen years old. I don't know how that happened. One day Dad
dragged me over to Maggie's house to hang out with her dad, my Uncle
Channing. He and his wife aren't really related to me, that's just what
Mari and I call them.
Maggie has a little sister named Bethany but she's twelve and no fun at
all. So I ended up messing with Maggie because I got bored hanging
out with Dad and Seth. I remember we got seriously pissed off at each
other and before I knew it, all our clothes were off and I was inside of
her. It's safe to say I freaked the fuck out and got out of there as fast I
possibly could. Though it kept happening. Over and over again and I
have no idea how to stop it. Not that I want to.
Maggie groans, from either the fact I'm pressed up against her or that
Mari has her stuff. Mari and Maggie really don't get along. It's funny
that' s how it worked out. Seth and I are best friends, have been since
birth. Maggie and Mari on the other hand? Can't stand each other. And
don't ask me why, it's some girly shit I'm sure.
"I'll make it easy on you," Mari says and crosses her arms over her
chest. Then she smirks and looks between the two of us. "One of you
has

to tell me the truth."
I swallow around the lump that has formed in my throat. Never once
has Mari asked about what Maggie and I do together. Not that she
knows anything to begin with. I've never touched Maggie when my
sister was around. She knew what was going on before I did.
Maggie raises both her eyebrows. Maggie doesn't take shit from
anybody. And I mean that. Everyone is scared of Mari BUT Maggie. I
think that's why they don't get along, really. They both think they're bad
bitches. Fucking ridiculous. "And what truth would that be?"
Mari's smirk grows bigger and she throws her arms out in all her
dramatic fashion. "That you've been screwing my brother for damn
near two years. "
My palms start to get sweaty and I wonder if I ran in the other direction
would I make it out of here before my entire life fell apart. Maggie
purses her lips and then shrugs her shoulders. "Can't say that I have. I
wouldn't touch Max if he was the last guy on earth." Then she walks up
to Mari and yanks her bag away. She digs around inside until she brings
out the little black box that holds her charcoal. "You should know I
have a little dirt on you. So I'd watch your mouth if you don't want
anything sordid spread around the school." Then she taps Mari on the
head and walks away.
"What the fuck just happened?" Mari whispers, looking at me. "I could
have sworn the two of you were getting it on. I mean, come on, even
Mom can feel the sexual tension between you two. "
I cringe at that one. My mom doesn't need to know who I have sexual
tension with. No one needs to know but Maggie and me.
I ignore her and Seth. I leave the school and head out to my truck. Mari
likes to tell people I' m over compensating for something with my
supped up truck but that's simply not true. I just like to have a vehicle
that has enough room for me. I'm a big guy; I don't want to feel
cramped in something smaller.
I head home in a bad mood. I can't believe my sister said that about
Maggie and me. I know it's true but it seems kind of like a betrayal.
Like she wants us to get caught or something. I would never rat her out
for something like that. Hell, I wouldn't ever rat her out in the first
place,

about anything.
My dad is the band director over at Meadows so he's probably got
practice scheduled this afternoon. My mom probably has a board
meeting or something to attend. They are hardly ever home before six
on the weekdays. Which means we always have to do something
together over the weekend. Before we head off to a party or something.
Don't tell them that though.
I' m not going to lie, I about shit my pants when I open my bedroom
door and Maggie is laying on my bed. Those blue-green eyes are so full
of mischief and secrets. She knows everything about everyone. I think
she would have to though, considering how much time she spends
drifting through the hallways, unnoticed.
"You here to bitch at me?" I ask, dropping my bag near the door. I look
down at my watch and see the time is only three thirty. We have plenty
of time for whatever she's in the mood for. When she shakes her head I
take a step closer to her. "You here to fuck?"
"Yeah," she says, sitting up and taking her shirt off over her head. She's
wearing the black and red bra I love so much. Not that I would ever tell
her that. I don't know what it is about us. I hate that we are like this
because the more time I spend with her, the more I want more than this.
I want to be with her and that scares the crap out of me.
Not only would my dad kill me, her dad would come after me as well. I
think my mom would cry in happiness or something though. She
always tells me how lonely I am, that I need to find a nice girl to go out
with. I hate to tell her I don't want to go out, I want to stay in with
Maggie. I think that's just the kind of jerk that I am.
My shirt comes up over my head and before I know it, I'm on top of her.
My lips meet hers in a rush and I'm shucking my pants down my legs
with my feet and one hand. Her hands go into my hair, pulling at the
strands just a little bit. I groan all the same though. When she touches
me, I lose my goddamn mind. I can't explain it in words, not really.
Fireworks go off, that's the closest I can get.
"How do you want it, bad girl?" I whisper against her lips. Then I pull
up to look down at her. Sometimes I can't think and I get distracted
because all I can see are blue-green eyes. Sometimes I know in my
heart

that she's more than a fuck buddy. Inside this body of mine, I know I'm
in love with her and that I always have been. Every good memory I
have from my childhood involves her somehow.
She's panting and moaning because I'm playing with her nipples, which
I've shoved aside her bra to play with. I can't tell you when I started
calling her bad girl. It seems it's always been her nickname. It's always
been a part of who we are. "Slow," she says, taking my hand away from
her breasts and moving it down to her jeans.
Maggie has this whole emo/Goth thing going on. She dyes the ends of
her hair black, she always has a black band t-shirt on and all this black
eyeliner on. I don't mind it though, because I know how fucking
beautiful she really looks, without all that shit.
Our lips meet again as I pull her jeans down to her ankles. Like most
days she isn' t wearing panties. I use my hand to glide along my dick
once, twice before I push it into her.
We might not always get along but we had the protection talk. We were
both virgins before we ended up here. And she' s been on the pill since
the third time we fucked.
I do what she asks and take it slow. As slow as I can what with her silky
walls clutching at me. Her hands move over my body, like they do
every time. She just can't stop touching me. I like it though; I've always
liked her hands on me.
I watch her pretty red nipples move with her bouncing breasts,
mesmerized by the sight. Her hand comes over my head and down my
face. Her finger ends up in my mouth and I suck it in. I thrust my hips to
the rhythm of my sucking.
After awhile I've had enough of this slow shit. So I sit back on my
calves and raise her legs up and on my shoulders. Then I hold her
against me while I pound into her. I watch as her eyes roll back into her
head while she comes. I join her because I can't hold it back anymore.
When I come back to reality I'm lying on top of her with her arms
around me. She's still touching me everywhere she can. It spreads
tingles up and down my spine. "Why do you think Mari waited until
today to say anything?" she asks me.
I lean down and kiss her gently. We have this tender thing going on

after we fuck. Like we actually sit here and talk and cuddle. It's fucking
weird. Sometimes Maggie feels more like my secret girlfriend than my
enemy. In fact, she hasn't truly felt like my enemy since the day before
we fucked.
"I don't know. But she is Mari so there is no telling." I roll off of her and
land on my back. I pull her against me and close my eyes. "I' m fucking
tired. Let's go to sleep."
"What about your parents?" She doesn't say what about Mari. Mari
already knows, she's just playing with us. I wouldn't be surprised if
everyone knows. We try really hard to hide it but there is only so much
a person can hide when you spend so much time with these people.
"They won't be home till six. It's four now. I'll set my alarm for an
hour." Then we fall asleep cuddled around each other. I like her like
this. All soft against me, smelling like wildflowers. And charcoal, she
always smells like charcoal.
Everything goes fine right up until this moment. The moment we have
to go from secret to out in public. This happens when my mom walks
into my room at four thirty. An hour and half before she is even
supposed to be home.
"Maximus Adam Sanders! Please for the love of god tell me that isn't
fucking Maggie Southerland!" My eyes pop open to see my mom
standing in the doorway looking horrified. Fuck.
Maggie is a very heavy sleeper, so she doesn't even flinch. "Mom, give
me a minute," I whisper. No need to get Ashley involved in this
conversation. She'd only make it worse or some shit.
Mom nods and leaves the room. I quietly pull my clothes on and head
out of the room, closing the door behind me. I pat the picture of Trey,
my mom's long dead boyfriend; it's actually a ritual I have. I feel like
he'll bring me good luck, considering he's the first guy to win over my
mom.
I find her sitting in the kitchen with a sad look on her face. In fact she's
got tears running down her face. I sigh and sit across from her on the
bar. "I know it's a big deal, but I don't think it's worth crying over." She
reaches across the space and puts her hand on top of mine. "I

just wasn't ready, baby. I wasn't ready to see you like that, not that I
would ever be, but I should have expected it. I thought I saw her car
down the road. "
"You expected to find us like that one day?" I ask confused. That's a
pretty big expectation.
She nods and wipes away some more tears. "You two, you've always
had it. Even when you were both tiny, it was there. It wasn' t always
sexual, at least, I fucking hope not. "
I raise an eyebrow and cross my arms over my chest, leaving my mom's
hand to fall to the bar top. "What have we always had?"
She gets up off the bar stool and crosses over to look out the window
over the sink. "This connection. I don't know what started it. But even
when both of you were little, you'd follow each other around. And as
you got older, you'd always be looking for her and she'd be looking for
you. It honestly scared me quite a bit. "
I think about what she says and I find she has a point. It has always
been there. I think that's why I always knew where Mari was going to
be. I had to hide it from Mari because she'd either make fun of me or get
jealous.
Wait.
"Is that why Mari and Maggie hate each other?" I feel like all the blood
has drained from my face. I can't be the reason for that. I just can't be.
That's ridiculous.
Mom looks at me over her shoulder and gives me a smile. "Among
other things. But yes, I think that's the reason it all started. They didn't,
and don't, know how to share you."
That just seems like so much wasted time. The two of them have a lot in
common, I hate that they can't be friends because of me. "Are you
going to tell Dad?" I ask. My dad is a big guy and he scares me. I don' t
think he'd actually hurt me, but since Maggie is his best friend's little
girl and his son took her virginity; I might be looking for the fight of
my
life.
"Nope. You two are. You two are going to sit down and tell your
fathers together. You two need to stop hiding behind closed doors and
come out in the open. Relationships are no fun when they 're secrets."

She leaves the sink finally and comes around to my side of the bar. She
wraps her arms around me and puts her nose in my hair. I have to smile
at that. She says she has to get a big whiff of me or she might forget
what I smell like before I'll let her hug me again. "I'm not so sure either
of your fathers will understand but I'll be there and so will Aunt
Paisley. We' ll set them straight. "
I nod and leave the kitchen after I let mom hug me again. I know I' m
eighteen years old but sometimes you just need to hug your mom.
Maggie is still asleep when I get back to my room. I lay down softly
next to her and just stare at her. And I know, I know that I've always
loved her. I was just scared. Scared of our parents, scared of what Mari
would think. But mostly I was scared because I shouldn't have felt so
strongly for this girl when I was so young. I wanted to live my life, you
know? Not spend it with one girl, but even I couldn't do that. I couldn't
ever be with anyone else. I feel it down to my bones.
Maggie shifts seconds before her eyes open. The blue-green orbs look
at me and while she doesn't smile, her eyes do. And that's when I blurt it
out like a fucking girl. "I love you, Maggie. "
She sits up so fast I'm worried she'll get whiplash. I sit up myself and
just stare at her while she stares at me, both in silence.
Then she does something she's never done before. She leans into me
and puts her head on my shoulder. "I've been waiting for you to figure
that out. "
I grin and look down at her. "You have, have you?"
She nods and gives me a little smile back. "I knew it a few weeks ago.
Mari was bitching at me for something; I probably stole something and
couldn't find it to return it. But that doesn't matter." She laughs against
me and I vow to always find a way to make her laugh, because it's such
a magical sound. "Then you walk by and somehow I just know. You
looked at me and smiled. Not your wicked grin, but a real smile like
you were happy to see me. Then you grabbed my hand when Mari
wasn't looking and I just knew. It's taken me a lot not to just blurt it
out."
I raise a brow. "Maybe you should have. I hate that I had my head
shoved so far up my ass. "

She rises in front of me and cups my face. "You would have ran in the
other direction. I know you though, I knew you'd come around soon
enough."
"I guess we can thank my mom." I raise my hands up and wrap them
around her wrists. "She walked in while you were asleep. She' s making
us tell our dads. "
"You don't have anything to worry about." She laughs at my confused
expression. "A long time ago, Daddy told me you were the only boy he'
d trust me with. I don' t think he was talking about the sex thing but you
get the point. "
"Oh so this should be fun? Are you serious right now? They are both
going to kill me," I tell her as she drops her hands from my face and
moves off the bed.
She makes sure she' s looking in my eyes while she pulls her jeans back
on. "I love you, Maximus. I have my entire life. He'll get over any
hang-ups he has real fast. I have the man wrapped around my finger
and I have since the day I was born. "
I love to hear the story about how the four of us were born. You see our
three sets of parents were pregnant at the same time. Mom went during
the baby shower that was being thrown for all three pregnancies. Aunt
Rach went during Channing and Paisley's wedding. And Paisley went
during their honeymoon.
I get off the bed and lean in and kiss her softly. "God I hope that's
fucking true. "

Mari
My parents seriously gross me out. I swear every time I walk into this
house they are making out somewhere. It' s a wonder Max and I don' t
have three hundred brothers and sisters. But I guess you can control
that kind of thing if you try hard enough. They just can't seem to control
their hormones. They are middle aged and have two eighteen-year-old
kids. You' d think they' d stop kissing and touching once they hear a
door open or close.
I put my hands on my hips and clear my throat. Daddy finally looks up
at me and grins like the idiot he is. "Mari, baby. When did you get
home?"
I roll my eyes. "Like ten minutes ago. I' ve been clearing my throat the
whole time. "
Mom giggles and moves away from my dad. He sticks his tongue out at
me and leaves the room. Mom' s stirring a huge pot and I nearly groan.
When she's cooking in that pot that means the entire family is coming
over for dinner. "Max and Maggie finally came out of the closet didn' t
they?" I sneer and finally drop my purse on the counter. The damn
thing is heavy.
Mom' s mouth pops open and she looks at me funny. "You knew? And
you didn't tell me?" She has a point really. I've known pretty much
since it happened. And I do tell Mom everything. Only this was Max' s
secret. And we made a pact when we were little.
Always tell the truth. Never spill a secret.
Now, Max isn't lying because I've never directly asked him about
Maggie. I've always hounded Maggie about it. I should really stop
being so mean to her. She's going to be my sister-in-law one day just
you wait and see. I just don't like having to share my brother. And ever
since he started screwing her, I've been left out more. Though that's a
part of

growing up.
"Who's all coming?" I ask, directing her attention somewhere else. I
love both my parents with all my heart but I'm not talking about Max's
sex life. I don't even want to think about Max's sex life.
Mom purses her lips at me but I just smile and sit down at the bar.
"Pierce, Rachel, Seth, Channing, Paisley, Ashley and Damien. I'm sure
Rachel will call Asher and he'll show up. Hopefully he'll bring BeeBee
and the baby. I haven' t seen him in a few weeks. "
With Ash and Damien coming I should probably run upstairs and
change. They might bring someone with them, like they usually do. Oh
what am I saying? I know he'll be here. He wouldn't miss a night to
show up at my house and drive me crazy all night because he's a douche
like that.
We' ll get to him later.
I leave my bedroom door open while I'm in the bathroom. That's how I
hear them when I come out of the bathroom. I race to my bedroom door
and see them in Max's room. Dancing around like a couple of idiots. I
can' t help but smile though, considering my brother looks so happy.
They make the oddest couple though. Max is a preppy jock asshole.
Maggie is the depressing emo artist. They have nothing in common but
sexual chemistry. And I' ve known that since Maggie grew boobs and
Max noticed. "You ready to finally admit you' re screwing each other?"
I call out across the hallway.
They both stop and look up at me. Maggie narrows her eyes at me but I
just tilt my head and sneer. It' s what I usually do. She leaves my
brother's arms and crosses to the doorway. "How did you know?"
I raise both of my eyebrows and look like I'm surprised by the question.
"How did I know the two of you were deeply in love? Because I have
eyeballs. Anyone can see that you know each other' s bodies. It' s
actually quite disgusting. " I smirk at my brother and then slam my door
shut.
That's something it'll take me a while to get over. He left me out of that
part of his life. He includes me in everything else, but when it comes to
Maggie, he keeps it all bottled up inside. It's why I resent Maggie so

much. Hell, at this point if he had opened up about it, I could have told
him ages ago that he was in love with her. And that I'm happy for him.
You see in the end, I don't care who he dates, just as long as she loves
him and is a good person.
Maggie I've known all my life. I know she's a good person and I know
she loves my brother. So I'm fucking happy for him. I'll have to be
friends with Maggie now. I can pull that off too because we were
friends when we were little kids.
Seth walks up the stairs about the time I'm going down them. "Why, it's
my favorite cousin ever!" I scream and throw myself at him. He grins
like the dork he is and catches me. He is so handsome I can' t stand it.
All that dirty blonde hair and those warm brown eyes. Plus, he looks
exactly like Uncle Pierce and Uncle Pierce is simply gorgeous.
"Did they finally spill the beans?" Seth asks as he sets me down.
"Yup. Or Mom walked in on them sleeping in his bed together. Then
they confessed their love for each other and now they will be happy
forever." I shrug because it's life and I wish nothing but the best for
them.
Seth hugs me again. "It sucks letting him go, doesn't it?"
I nod holding back tears. He's my twin brother and I love him. He's half
of me and he always has been. "Yeah. But I let him go two years ago. It
just took me this long to figure it out. "
Seth smooths the hair out of my face. "She'll take good care of him.
And one day he' ll feel like this too, when you find someone. " He
smiles at me and I feel so much better.
"You give good smiles," I state, grinning like an idiot. Seth will bring
that out in people. The bastard.
"Mari." At the sound of his voice I stiffen in Seth's arms. I hate the way
he says my name, yet it sends exciting chills up and down my spine.
Seth notices and gives me a questioning look. I shake my head at that
one. Jamie Daniels AKA Diablo is the one person in the entire world I
never wanted to see again yet I couldn't wait to. That's what happens
when you let someone in and they break your heart.
"Jamie," I say back, looking at him over Seth's shoulder. His black hair
is gelled away from his head and those blue, blue eyes look back at

me with all the desire in the world. "I fucking hate you," I state, giving
him a calm look so he knows I'm fucking serious.
Seth's jaw drops open and I lift a hand to push it closed. Jamie gives me
a tired look and moves up the stairs. "I'm going to steal her away for a
second." He nods at Seth who just rolls his eyes and goes back
downstairs.
"I was talking to him. You know it's seriously rude to cut someone off
like that." I'm posturing of course because I see Seth everyday of my
life. He's always around when I need him and vice versa. You grow up
like all of us did and you get to be a close-knit group. It's not a wonder
that Maggie and Max are in love. Everyone in this family is in love and
those two are products of their parents.
We enter my bedroom and he shuts the door before slamming me up
against it. His eyes stare into mine but I don't let him have an inch. You
can't pull the kind of shit that he did and expect me to just get over it. "I'
m sorry," he whispers seconds before he decides now would be a nice
time to kiss me.
Only I won' t fall for that trick because my IQ is pretty high. I move my
head and his lips find my cheek. He sighs and finally moves away from
me. He knows me, just like I know him. We'll always end up at a
stalemate because neither of us will ever give in.
"You know sorry isn't good enough." I fight back tears as he stands in
front of me. He's too old for me, he's too good looking for me and he's
too much of a bad boy for me. I didn't want this for myself but he fell in
front of me and I never wanted to look back. "Nothing you say will ever
be good enough. "
I pride myself on being a strong person and I find that it's actually true.
When he broke my heart, I didn't let it show. I kept on keeping on but
now it's so hard to do that. He doesn't come around unless Ashley
comes, probably because he knows it would bring up too many
questions.
"I'm sorry. I thought we were done. You said you weren't ever coming
back. " He lifts his hands to run them through his slicked back hair.
When he's done the strands stick up in all directions. "I thought we
were over. "

"What are you talking about? We are done. Hello, you slept with
another girl. Excuse me but I'll never get over that. I'll never trust you
again and I pretty much wish you would die." None of that is true
though. I already forgave him. And I trust him with my life; I just don' t
trust him around other women. There is a difference. You can be a good
protective man and love someone but you can still break hearts by not
being faithful.
"That day. You said we couldn't do that anymore." He's the one who
looks broken now. But I don't really care.
I shake my head. "See, I guess it was okay then." Though he has a
point. I did say that. I just didn't expect him to move on so quickly.
Hell, the only reason I caught him was because I left my fucking cell
phone there. I went back to get it four hours after I left.
"It's not okay. I just couldn't handle the fact that you didn't want to see
me anymore." I hate that I hurt him. I hate that he hurt me but there's
nothing I can do about it. "You can't be mad at me because I moved on
when you dumped me. That isn't fair."
I shake my head. "Less than four hours later? Really? Way to move on
super fast. "
He groans and before I know it I'm pushed up against the door again.
"You are the reason my heart beats, Goldie. I think about you all the
fucking time. I have for months. You left me and I couldn't handle it."
He uses his hands to force me to look at him when I try to look away. "I
love you. I had to get it out of me, but I couldn't. That sweet butt didn' t
help. Nothing helps but seeing you. "
I close my eyes and grit my teeth. I want to blurt out how much I love
him. But that's the reason I broke up with him in the first place. What
would I do with him? He's a biker boy and I'm a preppy rich girl.
Besides, I was so sure he didn't feel the same way.
"Listen to me, Goldie. I'm so fucking in love with you. The sun and
moon rise out of your ass for me. I can't live without you." I listen to
him but I try so hard not to.
In the end I didn't have a fighting chance considering. He's a gorgeous
man and when he tells you he loves you, you have to believe him
simply because you know what kind of man he is.

I open my eyes and look at him. "That's why I left you. You said once it
got to be too much, I could end it. And when I had to get up and force
myself to leave, I knew it was too much. I didn't ever think for one
second you felt the same way. "
He gives me his grin. One eyebrow goes up along with one side of his
mouth. It's fucking sexy. "So you do love me?"
"Yes, I love you." His lips touch mine softly, barely touching. His body
moves in closer to me until we are pressed tightly together. Then he
kisses me harder, his tongue sliding into my mouth, demanding I play
along. When his hands start to slide up my stomach, I pull away from
him. "We can't do this now. My entire family is downstairs."
"Come to my house tonight then," he asks while he kisses my neck and
slides his hand around on the skin of my stomach.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's all about the sex with you. Horny bastard." He
chuckles at me and I smile.
"You're the only chick that could get away with calling me names," he
says moments before someone knocks on my door.
I feel my eyes get wide and I know our time to hide is about to end.
Seems my brother's bad mojo got spread to me. Though, to be honest, I
didn' t really think I would be with Jamie ever again.
I make him stand back and open the door, only to see the most
over-protective members of my family standing there. All glaring at me
like I was the one who wanted to get caught or something. "Umm,
Jamie. I think now would be a good time to run."
"Boy, you better get out here," Damien says with his teeth clenched.
"Okay. Let's hold on a second here," I say to all the angry men standing
at my doorway. "I'm eighteen years old. And he never touched me
before I turned eighteen." I almost point out that Max couldn't even
wait until Maggie turned eighteen before they started screwing, but that
goes along with the fact I don't spill my brother's secrets.
My dad, who looks the most pissed off, crosses his arms over his chest
and glares down at me. "How long exactly has this been going on
then?"
I feel my cheeks heat at the way he says that and the way everyone

seems to be staring right at me. Then all of a sudden Max comes out of
nowhere and stands in front of me. Plus, Jamie walks out of my
bedroom because he finally got around the door I've been blocking.
They stand in front of me and I almost smile.
"It's none of your business Dad," Max states with his arms crossed over
his chest. He stands shoulder to shoulder with Jamie. My sexy biker
boy next to my preppy ass brother. What a pair they make.
Dad narrows his eyes and looks down at my brother. "I' m about fed up
with all the secrets around this house. You two don't have to keep all
your relationships secret. "
I poke my head in between my brother and my on again boyfriend.
"Um, yeah we do. Considering every penis-wielding member of my
family is standing in front of my door ready to beat up my boyfriend. It
seems a little extreme if you ask me. "
"We're just getting a feel for the guy," Channing states, glaring at my
brother. They will have their own reckoning in a little bit I assume.
I roll my eyes at that remark though. "Please. You've all known Jamie
since the day he was born. Quit acting like I brought him home from
the bar or something. He's not a piece of shit and he treats me good.
Well, most of the time." I have a problem when I get agitated. I blurt
out things I really shouldn't.
I feel Jamie tense against me and I cringe. "What does she mean, most
of the time?" my dad asks.
"I didn't mean anything by it, Dad. Can we please go eat dinner now?"
I'm about to lose all my cool. I've heard stories about each of these men
every day of my life. I'm going to start pointing out their own problems
if they don't shut up and take a chill pill.
"Maribel decided she didn't want to be with me a couple of weeks ago.
So I moved on a little too fast for her liking, but we've talked that
through and gotten over it." I close my eyes and put my face in his
back. I can' t believe he just admitted that in front of all these
overbearing men.
The silence is deafening around here now. Until I hear someone
coming up the stairs. We all turn our heads to see my Aunt Rachel
standing at the top of the stairs. "Really? Let the boy be. You all knew
this was coming, just like we all knew Max and Maggie were coming.

You're all idiots. I just can't." Then she throws her hands up in the air.
"Paisley! Wesley! Get your asses up here, right the fuck now! "
Then she turns back to us and locks eyes with me. She gives me a wink
and I grin. Aunt Rachel always saves the day.
Mom and Aunt Paisley run up the stairs. Now, Paisley and Channing
aren't really my aunt and uncle in case you were getting weirded out
because of Max and Maggie. We just call them that.
"What in the world is going on up here?" my mom asks with her hands
on her hips. She's a tiny little thing but she still splits the crowd as she
moves through them. When she sees me pressed up against Jamie she
bursts into tears.
"What the fuck, mom?" I say, freaked the hell out. If she doesn't
approve of Jamie then I swear I'm moving to fucking Alaska. No
Hawaii, Alaska is way too cold for me.
She grabs my face while Jamie turns around and gets me by the hips.
He doesn' t have to worry though. "I knew this day was coming. I just
wasn't ready at all." She smoothes those hands over my face and just
stares at me. "Both of my babies are grown up now. "
"I'm not moving out of the house, if that's what you're freaking out
over. Besides, I'll always need my mom. Even when I'm old and grey,"
I tell her, pulling her into my arms and snuggling against her. "I didn't
tell you because you can't keep anything from Dad. Max and I have
always had a pact, that we would never tell each other's secrets. And
Dad would have gotten all overbearing," I make sure I'm looking at him
and glaring, "along with everyone else in this family. You people make
it hard to do anything."
"We just care about you so much. But don't think for one second any of
these idiots will stop you and Jamie. Your dad just likes to posture. We
all knew you'd end up with him," she says into my hair.
"How did you figure that?"
She laughs and pulls away. "Because you two used to sneak eyes at
each other when you thought no one was looking. Though you and
Jamie were better at it than Max and Maggie. "
"Score!" I say, laughing. "Can we eat now? Seriously, I'm hungry," I
state, looking around at the five men standing guard between

my food and me.
My dad nods and I grab Jamie's hand and pull him down the stairs,
behind most of the women in my family, and into the kitchen. "You lie
so well. You had me convinced," Jamie whispers in my ear and I laugh.
Yeah, he's a year older than me and we've been together since I was
seventeen, as in my seventeenth birthday. Max isn't the only one good
at hiding something. Actually I'm better at it.
"Well, I don't want you to get castrated. Just be glad your dad isn't here.
There might have been a massacre. "
One by one the men in my life come down the stairs. First there's
Asher, my older cousin, who finds his wife and goes to her. BeeBee
holds their son in her arms. He's only four months old. She shows him
off to her sister Paisley and they laugh at the face he makes.
Damien comes down next and winks at me before going over to
Ashley. My cousin Cora is away at college and I know they miss her.
Hell, I miss the shit out of her myself. Damien and Ashley rub noses.
Then she whispers something in his ear that makes his eyes light up. I
shake my head.
Channing walks down next. He gets to Paisley and puts his forehead on
hers. They seem to be having a serious converstation. Then they both
look up at Max when he gets down the stairs and goes right to Maggie.
He grabs her hand and they stand close together. Her head falls to his
shoulder and I see a look I've never seen on his face before. Pure and
total happiness. He's always been happy but this is different. It's like he
finally found the thing he's been searching for the most.
Pierce jumps down to the bottom stair and finds Rachel in the crowd.
He kisses her neck and she bites her lip at him. They have a serious
problem with PDA themselves.
Finally my dad makes it to the bottom. He goes to Max first and puts
his hand on the back of his neck. He says something to him that makes
Max relax against Maggie. Then he comes our way. He picks me up in
a hug. I smile and throw my arms around his neck.
"I love you sweetie. Even when you're giving me grey hair and maybe
setting me up for a heart attack." He kisses my hair and then sets me
down on my feet.

"I love you too Daddy. Even when you're being a pain in my ass."
Jamie tenses behind me when Dad makes eye contact with him.
"You ever hurt her, I' m going to kill you, bury the body and pretend I
don't know shit." Then Dad nods at Jamie and goes to find my mother.
That's when they start making out again and I feel a little vomit rise up
in my throat.
"Do your parents make out all the time?" I whisper at Jamie while he
holds onto my stomach from behind.
I feel his head nod against my head. "They are worse actually. I can't
tell you how many times I've walked in on them fucking or about
to fuck. "
I feel my lip rise up at that. "Yeah you have it worse. At least mine
know how to lock a door. "
"I have that problem too. I even got home late one night while they
thought I had already made it inside. They were in Dad's car and they
were naked," Seth says right beside me.
"That's nothing. Did I ever tell you the time I was supposed to be in my
room but I snuck out? Yeah, when I got back they were in the pool and
they were more than just naked. I had to hide in the bushes until they
went back inside," Maggie throws in. "Two hours later. "
I look at Max and he shrugs. "Thank God we didn't have it that
bad."
Thank the lord we didn't.
Even though they are weird and disgusting, I love each and every one
of them. They had their hard times and their good times all before we
came around. We just made everything better. Or worse.
I do know they weren' t happy before they found each other. And now
they are so happy they subject their children to their sex lives. But what
did you expect with this group?
There is a kind of madness to their lives, what with all the drama, but
each of their children's childhoods were amazing and each of us knows
how much they love us. Each of us knows how they struggled for each
other and how they lost some people along the way. We are truly
blessed to have them as parents. I know I wouldn't trade them in for
anything.

The End

Acknowledgements
When it comes to thanking people, I get a little emotional. So many
people have helped me with this series. I remember while looking back
a year ago how much Make Me meant to me. I was in love with the
characters and I was so excited to write it out. So it's an honor to have
help from each of these people and thank you for enjoying this series.
Lisa Kane, who probably loves Channing and Paisley more than I do. I
thank you for checking up on me when I've gone radio silent. Thank
you for always sharing my books on your blog. Thank you for being an
amazing reader and fan. And hopefully you didn' t need too much
alcohol to read this book.
Tamsyn Bester you are simply the best. I know I haven't spoken to you
in a while but that doesn't mean I don't care about you. Thank you for
being there when I needed someone to lean on while writing Sleepless
Nights. And thank you for loving this series and always being excited
for the next book. <3 #Duchess
Nicole Bailey, I can't thank you enough for all that you do. Before I
found you, or did you find me? Either way you've been the biggest gift
in my author life. I've been cheated, bullied, and ripped off by every
other editor I've had. So thank you for being an angel. Thank you for
going over these books with their bad grammar and badly spelled
words. Thank you for always picking out the things I screwed up in my
plots. And thank you for being the nicest person I have met in this
industry.
Veronica Franco, thank you for your love of my books. Thank you for
anyways making my teaser pics because I can't make them to save my
life. Thank you for being my biggest fan and biggest supporter. You
mean the world to me!

For my family. Michele and Mom I know for a fact will probably read
this. Thank you for believing in me. Thank you for reading these books
and actually liking them. On the days I feel like a failure and I just want
to quit it all, I remember that you want to read what I write, so I have a
purpose again. I couldn't ask for anything else.