“Listsarekindofmything.”

“Trustme,Taylor,Iremember,”Alexsaid.Ashetookaswigofbeer,henoticedtheopennotebook.
Hepulleditcloser,intriguedbywhathadtobeherprecisehandwriting.

Requirements

1.Driven

2.Intelligent

3.Successful

4.Considerate

5.Well-respected

6.Conservative

7.Neat

8.Optimistic

9.Polite

10.Health-conscious

Requirementsforwhat?”heasked.“ABillGatesclone?”

Shecrossedherarms.“It’salist.”

“Yes.Wearmyguysmayseemdense,butIfiguredoutallbymyselfit’salist.What’sitfor?”

Shestaredathim,hercheekspink.Theidealmale.Which,itoccurstome,isafictitiousbeing.”

“So,whatifyoumeetsomeonewhogetsyourheartrateupbuthe’sanup-and-comingartist?Notyet
successful?”

“ThenIhavenointerestingoingoutwithhim.”

Henoddedincompletedisagreement.“Blackandwhite.”

“Precisely.”

DearReader,

WhenpeopleaskmewhatkindsofbooksIliketoread,Iusuallyanswerromanceandmilitary
nonfiction.Sometimestheygivemeanoddlookatthecombination,butthenI’musedtooddlooks.

Iespeciallylovereadingromancesthathaveamilitaryhero.IfinallydecidedI’dtrymyhandat
writingone,andAlexWorthwasborninmyimagination.He’satough,competent,been-through-
hell-several-times-overguywhosehelicopterwasshotdownincombat.Hisbestfriendwaskilledin
thecrash,andAlexisleft,seriouslyinjured,tolivewiththeaftermath.Everconsciousofhisduty,he
feelsobligatedtowatchoutforhisbestfriend’syoungersister,TaylorMcCabe.

Mostoftheheroinesofmybookshavebeenself-confident,sometimesmouthyorwitty(atleastin
theirminds),sociallyadeptpeople—thetypeofwomanAlexWorthwouldnormallygofor.Ithought
itwouldbefuntogivehimtheexactopposite.

Taylorisasuper-intelligent,sociallychallengedcomputerandmathgeekwhoneverknowswhatto
say,especiallyaroundthesexy,virilehelicopterpilot.Toaddtoherunease,she’shadacrushonAlex
sinceshewasateenager.

Ihopeyouenjoyreadinghowthearmypilotandthecomputergeekfallinlove,becauseIhadagreat
timewritingtheirstory.Pleasefeelfreetowritetomeatamyknupp@amyknupp.com.Learnmore
aboutmybooksandwritinglifeatwww.amyknupp.com.

ThankyouforpickingupBecauseoftheList!

Bestwishes,

AmyKnupp

BecauseoftheList

AmyKnupp

ABOUTTHEAUTHOR

AmyKnupplivesinWisconsinwithhertwosons,fivecatsandherveryowncomputergeek,inthe
formofahusband.ShegraduatedfromtheUniversityofKansaswithdegreesinFrenchand
journalismandfeelsluckytouseverylittleofeitheroneinherwritingcareer.She’samemberof
RomanceWritersofAmerica,MadCityRomanceWritersandWisconsinRomanceWriters.Inher
sparetime,sheenjoysreading,collegebasketball,addictivecomputergamesandcomingupwith
betterthingstodothancleanherhouse.TolearnmoreaboutAmyandherstories,visit
www.amyknupp.com.

BooksbyAmyKnupp

HARLEQUINSUPERROMANCE
1342—UNEXPECTEDCOMPLICATION
1402—THEBOYNEXTDOOR
1463—DOCTORINHERHOUSE
1537—THESECRETSHEKEPT

1646—PLAYINGWITHFIRE

1652—ALITTLECONSEQUENCE

1658—FULLYINVOLVED

1702—BURNINGAMBITION

Sincerethanksgooutto

LarissaIoneandherhusband,LieutenantBryan

Estell,forsowillinglyansweringmynumerousodd

questionsaboutthemilitary.

DaynaHughesforhelpingmewithphysicaltherapy

questionsandscenarios.

JimDaviesforsettingmestraightonguns,or

wholeheartedlytryingto.

SharonMuhaforembracingmyplanstowritea

femalecomputergeek.Herenthusiasmpushedme

ondaysIneededanudge.

MelanieScallonandfamily,forlettingmegivetheir

catscameorolesinmystory.

JeannieWatt,KayStockham,EllenHartmanand

KimVanMeter,whowereinvolvedinthebirthof

thebook’shero.Hemayhaveevolvedabit,buthe

stillhashisrootsinrogue-ness.

VictoriaCurranforchampioningthestoryfrom

theveryfirstversionofthefirstproposal,andfor

makingit,andeveryotherbookI’vehadpublished,

strongerwithhermadeditingskills.

CHAPTERONE

SSOMEONEWHO’D

recentlyvowedtofindherselfaman,TaylorMcCabeshould’vebeenatleasta

smidgeonexcitedtodiscoveragood-lookingoneonthebackdeckofherhouse.

Butno.Excitedwasn’tthewordshe’duseasshedrovehercarpasthimandintohergarageafter

alongdayatwork.

Dread.Thatwastheword.Itrosesteadilyinhergutasshesatsummoningthecouragetoclimb

outofthefrontseatandfacehim.

Twofactsheldherback:A)ShewasTaylorMcCabe.B)HewasAlexWorth—thetargetofan

impossible,embarrassingschoolgirlcrushthatshe’dkeptsecretalltheseyears.

Toavoidthehumiliationofbeingcaughthiding,sheslippedthestrapsofherpurseandleather

laptopsatcheloverhershoulderandopenedthedoor,mutteringapeptalkassheforcedherselfout
ofthecar.

Eyesgluedtothecrumblingdriveway,sheemergedfromthesafetyofthegarageanddidher

bestnottofocusontherugged,virilearmyhelicopterpilotwhowasmostlikelywatchingherevery
stepandwonderingwhyshewassuchaperpetualmisfit.

Asshenearedthedeck,shemanagedtoraiseherchinandpeerathim—orrather,justbarely

pasthim—asheslowlystood.

“Lookatyou,”hesaidwithahintofamusementinthelowvoicethatalwayssurprisedherwith

itssmoothness.“Nearlynineo’clockatnightandyou’rejustaslaced-upandproperasyouwere
whenyouwenttoworkthismorning,I’llbet.”

Sheglanceddownatherwhiteblousewithmother-of-pearlbuttons,khakipleatedslacksandher

latestnodtotheshoemonsterthatragedinsideher,dark-brownzebra-printslingbackswiththree-
and-a-half-inchheels.Acquiredatakillerclearance,thankyou.

Whenshelookedbackupathim,shenoticedhe,too,wasstaringathershoeswith…distaste?

Confusion?

Hercheekswarmedandnodoubtreddened.Shenudgedherglassesuponhernoseandcouldn’t

thinkofaresponsetohiscomment.“Whendidyougetbacktotown?”

“Yesterday.Youmissedtheparty.”Hefrownedashestaredabsentlyintothedistance.
Drat.Hadsheforgottensomething?“I’msorry,Alex.Ididn’tknow—”
“Kidding,Scarlet.”Thenicknameheandherbrotherhadalwaysusedforhercausedasharp

pain.NoonehadcalledherScarletsincebeforetheaccidentthathadkilledQuinn.Andthoughshe’d
neverlikedthename,there’dbeenrecentdayswhenshewould’vegivenanythingtohearherbrother
sayitagain.“JustmymomandsistertryingtoactlikeIbelonghereinMadison.”

Somethinginhistonedistractedherfromtheacheinherchestandshefinallydaredtoreally

lookathim.Hisdarkhairhungoverhisforehead,makinghimlessclean-cutall-Americanandmore
overgrownandshaggy,reminiscentofthedevil-may-careattitudehe’dprojectedinschool—andyet
itdidn’tquiteringtruetoday.Thegunmetal-graycargopants,blackT-shirtandcombatbootshewore
weretheoff-dutydressofasoldier,butsomethingwasmissingfromhisstance.Confidence,maybe.
Thespirithe’dalwaysbeenfullof.

Atwo-inchscarmarredthesideofhisface,notfarfromhisleftear,andthoughithadobviously

beencausedbythehelicoptercrashsevenmonthsago,shewonderedpreciselywhathadslicedhis
skin.

Theireyesmetand,thoughshewasembarrassedtobecaughtexamininghimsoclosely,shewas

takenbyhisuncustomaryweariness,theedginessdeepinthosesteelygrayorbs,sounliketheguy
who’dbeenherbrother ’sbestfriendsincejuniorhigh.

“Areyouback…permanently?”She’dgottenacoupleofupdatesonhisconditionrightafterthe

accidentandknewhisleghadbeenseriouslyinjured.Butshehadn’theardanythingformonths.She
didn’tknowhisfamilywellenoughthatshefeltcomfortablecheckinginonhowhewasdoing.

“That’swhatthearmydocswouldhaveyoubelieve.”Heshruggedoneshoulder.“They’dbe

happytoturnmeintoadeskjockey.”

“Don’ttakethiswrong,butyoudon’tseemlikeyou’denjoyadeskjob.”Fromwhatsheknew,

helivedtofly.Quinnhadlovedbeinginthemilitaryand,infact,hadconvincedAlextoenlist
originally,butonceAlexhadstartedlearningtoflyBlackhawks,Quinnhadcommentedrepeatedly
thatAlexhadfinallyfiguredoutwherehebelonged.

“That’dbeanaccurateassessment.”Therewasquietangerunderlininghiswords.“Ihaveevery

intentionofflyingagain.”

Taylorjerkedhergazeaway.“Whyareyouhere?Atmyhouse?”
“Quinnwouldwantmetocheckonyou.”
“True.”Somegirlshadtoworryaboutanoverprotectivefather,buteversinceshewasfiveand

theirdadhadwalkedoutonthefamily,herolderbrotherhadtakenonthejob.“He’snotheretoforce
theissue,though,andI’mfine.You’reoffthehook.”Shesmiled,butimmediatelyfeltself-conscious.

“Youknowyourdeckneedssomework?”
Hegesturedtotheoppositesidewheretherailingandbenchthatranaroundtheperimetergot

themostdirecthitfromtheweather.Thebenchwasrottinginplaces,shesuspected,butshewasn’t
surebecauseshetendedtoignoretheproblem.

“Addittothelist,”shemuttered.“I’mnotmuchofahome-improvementguru.”SheandQuinn

hadinheritedthehousewhentheirmotherdiedeightyearsago,andTaylorhadalwaysbeenthankful
forit.ButwithQuinnonactiveduty,theupkeephadfallentoher—anareashedidn’texcelin.

Beforehecouldrespond,sheduckedherheadandslippedbyhim.Shejoggedupthetwo

woodenstepsandunlockedthebackdoor.Sheturnedtothankhimforstoppingby,knowingthey
wouldbothberelievedwhenheleft.Whatshesaw,however,strucksomethinginsideher.Itwasn’t
thathewasfollowingherup,thoughanyothertimethatwould’vecausedaminipanicattack.Itwas
thewincethattwistedhisruggedfeaturesintoamanshedidn’trecognize.Itlastedonlyaninstant.She
turnedaway,somehowknowinghedidn’twantheroranyoneelsetoseehispain.

“Comeinforadrinkifyouwant,”shesaidawkwardly,halfhopinghe’drefuse.
Hegrabbedthescreendoorandhelditforherassheremovedherkeyfromthelockandpushed

theheavywoodendooropen.

“Haveaseat.”Taylorindicatedthescarred,roundkitchentablethatwasalmostasoldasshewas

asshesetherbags,keysandsmartphonedownonit.“Whatwouldyoulike?”

He,ofcourse,didn’tsit.She’dbetheignoredofficialordersasoftenashecouldgetawaywith

it.

“I’lltakeabeerifyouhaveone.”
Abeer.Naturally.Asifsheregularlystockedthestuff.Sheshouldprobablybreakdownandbuy

asix-packjustfortimeslikethis,butshefeltcertainshewouldn’tchoosetherightkindanyway.And
therewasthesmallmatterthatsherarelyhadvisitorsandevenrarerweretheymales.Butifshewas
goingtostartdating…Shehadlotsofchangestomake.Maybestockingbeerwasoneoftheeasier
ones.

LEXWASOFFHISGAME

inmorewaysthanone.

Notonlywashesuddenlyamanwithhiscareerintheshitterandenoughself-blametochokean

entireplatoon,butit’dbeenaneternityandahalfsincehe’dbeenwithawoman.

TheevidenceofthiswasneversoclearaswhenTaylorbentovertosearchalowershelfofthe

fridge.Hecaughthimselfcheckingoutherbacksideandconsideringthatbeneaththoseno-frills,all-
businessclothes,shewashidingsomeintriguingcurves.

TaylorMcCabe.Hisbestfriend’slittlesister.
QuinnwouldtrackhimdownwithanM16ifheknew.Ifhewerealive.
“IdohaveacoupleofQuinn’sbeersleftinhere,”Taylorsaid,reachingtothebackoftheshelf

andpullingouttwobottlesofhisdeadfriend’sbrand.Justlikethat,hewasthrownpainfullybackin
time.“Willthatwork?I’mafraidit’sallI’vegot.”

“Worksfine.Thanks.”Hetookthebottlesheheldout,twistedoffthetopandswiggedthecold

beerpastthelumpinhisthroat,doinghisdamnedesttoignorethelabel.

Ofcourse,Taylorhadn’tboughtherownbrand.Shewasn’tabeerwoman.Shewasaboutthe

furthestthingfromit.GirlswithIQshigherthanGod’sdidn’tkillbraincellswithhopsandmaltona
regularbasis.Asiftohammerthatfacthome,shetookoutapitcherofsun-brewedtea,probably
somemind-boostingformula,andpouredherselfaglass.Thenshedugaroundinthebottomofthe
refrigeratoragain—hemadeapointofnotlookingcloselyatherbodythistime—andaddedawedge
oflemon.ThatwasTaylor,wholesomeandhealthy.HeandQuinnhadoftenribbedherforexactly
that,butitdidn’tseemrightnowthathisbuddywasgone.

“Beerisn’ttheonlythingIhaveofQuinn’s,”Taylorsaidhesitantlyasshesetherglassdown.

“I’vegivenawayhisclothesandbooks,sortedthroughhissportstrophiesandpersonalthings,but
I’mdowntothehardstuff.Guns,fishinggear,exerciseequipment.Allthetestosteronegear.Ineedto
gothroughit,decidewhattosellandhow.”

“Iknowathingortwoabout‘testosteronegear.’Icanhelpifyouneedit.”
Weekendofsuck,anyone?SittinghereinthekitchenwhereQuinnhadgrownup,theonlyplace

he’dlivedbesidesarmybasesandcamps,wasmanageablethankstosomehard-coredenial.Going
throughhisbelongings…There’dbenoignoringreality,uglyandincriminatingasitwas.

“Isuspectyouknowmorethanathingortwo.I’dappreciatethat.Maybethisweekend?”
“Prettyfullscheduleofsittingaroundandfeelinguseless,actually.ButIcantrytopencilyou

in.”Heattemptedsomethinghehadn’tdonemuchinthepastfewmonths—asmile.

Taylorreturnedanotherself-consciousgrin,thenlookedaway.Shetookapackageoffig

cookiesdownfromthecabinet,openeditandbeganarrangingthesquaresonayellow-rimmedplate.

Alexeyedthechairshe’dofferedhimastheacheinhislegagainmorphedintoastabbingpain.

Sonofabitch.ThetripfromD.C.toWisconsinwaskickinghisass.Hedidn’twanttotakeanymore
pills,butthehellifhewasgoingtobethecrippledmantakingthechairineveryroom.

“Doesithurtalot?”Taylorasked,andhejerkedhisheadtowardher,silentlyswearingat

himself.

“Doeswhathurt?”Histonewascurt.Unfriendly.
“Idon’tknow.Yourleg?Yourhead?That’stwicesinceyou’vebeenherethatit’shappened.”
“What’shappened?”Sowhatifhewasavoidingherquestion?
Sheshookherheadandlookeddownagain,insomewaysstillsomuchliketheunsureteenager

heandQuinnhaddefendedmorethanonceagainstschoolbullies.Andnowherehewasbeingthe
asshole.

Hisconstantcompanion,guilt,wastheonlyreasonhetookoneofherhealthybiscuitswhenshe

heldouttheplatetohim.

“Thesearen’tthatbad,”hesaidashechewed.
“Icouldseeonyourfaceyouwereinpain,Alex.”Hervoicewasquiet,but,foronce,notunsure.
“It’snothing.Justaflashhereandthere.Badday.”Thephysicalstuffwastheleastofitwhenyou

gotdowntoit.

Shestudiedhim,asifdoubtingwhathesaid.Heshutouttheacheinhislegandforcedhimselfto

thetable,awayfromthosepryinggreeneyes.Asheloweredhimselftotheladderbackchair,he
avoidedbendinghisleftkneeasmuchaspossible.

“Whatexactlydothedoctorssay?”shepressed.
“ThatI’dbeluckyevertohaveenoughmusclecontroltoflyahelicopteragain.”
Maybehesnappedthewordsoutather.Tough.Hismedicalfile,threegoddamninchesthick

thoughitmightbe,washisbusiness.Besides,whatdiditmatterwhatthedoctorssaid,anyway?He
hadn’thadanyintentionofacceptingtheiropinions,notthreemonthsagowhenthey’dexaminedhis
progressandnottoday.

“Sorrytopry.I’mnotstupid,though.Thatwasn’tnothing.”Taylorturnedherbacktohimand

adjustedthesetofthreecanisterssotheywereperfectlylineduponthecounter.

Oh,yeah,compulsivestraighteningmeantshewaspissed.Quinnusedtoneedleheraboutit

whenevershewentonanOCDbinge.ThetendencyhadamusedAlexinthepast,buthedidn’tlike
beingthecauseofit.

“Thetripworemeoutisall.”
Shedidn’trespond,didn’tturntofacehim.Justkeptstraighteningthestuffonthecounter.
AlexagainmadeapointofnotlookingtoocloselyatQuinn’ssister.Insteadhecheckedoutthe

kitchenasifhehadn’tbeenhereamilliontimesbefore.Noticeddetailshehadn’tinthepast.The
placeneededsomework.

“Whydon’tyouletmedoalittlerepairandupkeepforyou.Iseesomeofthetrimaroundthe

floorismissing.Splinteringoutwardoverthere.”Hepointed.

“That’snotyourresponsibility.I’llhiresomeoneoneofthesedays.”
Hegotupandwalkedtothespot.Withoutbendinghislegtoomuch,heinspectedthedamaged

trim.“Iknowhowtoreplaceit.WhypaysomeonewhenIhaveloadsofsparetime?”Hestraightened
andmethergaze.

Sheshookherhead.“Iknowyou’reofferingbecauseyoufeelobligated.You’renot.”
“I’mnotobligated,I’mbored,Scarlet.Comeon,I’msurethere’sotherstuffbesidesthedeckand

thetrim.Right?”

“It’salonglist.”
“Idon’thaveajob.OnlythingIhavetodoformonthsisphysicaltherapyafewtimesaweek.”
Shebitherlipandexaminedthetrimherself.“I’vebeenthinkingaboutsellingthehouse.Maybe

movingontosomethingofmyveryown.Thefamilyhomehassomanyghosts…”

“No-brainerformetospruceitup,then.Youcanpaymeifitmakesyoufeelbetter.”
Taylorwentbacktothecounter,pickedupacookieandtookabite.Sheclickedherfingernails

ontheFormicaasshechewed.

“Ifyou’lltakepayment,thehelpwouldbeappreciated,”shefinallysaid.
“Doyouactuallyhavealistofeverythingthatneedstobedone?”Heheadedbacktothetable

andsat,thinkingmaybeoneofthepainpillshe’dbeenavoidingwouldn’tbeabadideatonight.Only
tonight.

Sheshookherhead.“ButI’llmakeone.I’vebeenindenial.Ignoringasmuchaspossible.It’s

suchahassle.”

“Notifyouknowwhatyou’redoing.”

“Thankyou.IknowQuinnwouldappreciateit,too.”
She’dhitpreciselyonthereasonhe’dvolunteered.Thatandthedesperateneedtodosomething,

anythingusefulwhilehewasstuckhereintown.HeplannedtodoPTasmuchashecouldbutthat
wouldonlypassafewhoursatatime.

Sowhatifhisreasonswereselfish.Itwaswin-win.“Havethelistreadybythisweekend.Ican

comeoverandfigureoutsuppliesandgetstartednextweek.”

“I’lldothat.Listsarekindofmything.”Shebowedherheadasifembarrassed.
“Trustme,Iremember.”
Absently,Alextappedoutarhythmonthetabletobreaktheawkwardsilencethatfelloverthem.

Ashetookaswigofbeer,henoticedforthefirsttimethescreenonherphonesittingnexttohim.He
pulleditcloser,intriguedbywhatappearedtobeachecklistonavirtualyellowlegalpad.Itwas
numberedonethroughten.

REQUIREMENTS

1. Driven
2. Intelligent
3. Successful
4. Considerate
5. Well-respected
6. Conservative
7. Neat
8. Optimistic
9. Polite

10. Health-conscious

“Requirementsforwhat?”heasked.“BillGatesclone?Youforgotphilanthropic.”
Taylorrushedovertohimandtriedtograbthephoneaway,buthehelditontheoppositeside,

hisarmoutstretchedfully.

“Howdidyougetthat?”
“Itwasjustlyinghere,beggingformyattention,”heteased.“Relax.Ialreadyreadit.Whatisit

anyway?”

Shecrossedherarmsandstraightened.“It’salist.”
“Yes.Wearmyguysmayseemdense,butIfiguredoutallbymyselfit’salist.What’sitfor?”
Shestaredathimforagoodtwentyseconds,hercheekslightpink.“It’sajoke.Traitsoftheideal

male,which,itoccurstome,isafictitiousbeing.”

“Isthisforyou?Areyouseeingsomeone?”
“Youdon’thavetosayitlikethat.”
“Likewhat?”
“LikeitwouldbethemostastoundingthingifIwentonadate.”Taylormorphedfromshyto

quietlyoutraged.

“I’veneverknownyoutogooutmuch.”
Itwasthewayshewas,thewayshe’dalwaysbeen.Quinnhadoncesaidherdisinterestindating

suitedhimfinebecauseitgavehimfewerassestokick.

Shedroppedherarmsandwalkedtothecounterandtheplateofcookies.Hershoulders

slumped.“I’mtwenty-six.Ilivealone.Ihavenosociallifeandnofamily.Ineedtogetoutofthis
housemoreoften.”

Hestudiedherback,andthefleetingthoughtaboutthebodyshehidsnuckitswayinagain.Her

longauburnhairhungpasthershouldersinherusuallowponytailandhestoppedtothinkwhenhe’d
lastseenherwithherhairloose.Hecouldn’trecallglimpsingitoutofitsusualstyleforyears,at
leastnotsinceshe’dbeenanadult.Shewasn’tugly—notatall.Shewasjust…unadorned.More
concernedaboutbitsandbytesorwhateverthehellaprogrammingwizarddealtwith.Fromwhat
he’dseen,shewasobsessedwithherwork,andasfarasheknew,thathadalwaysbeenenoughfor
her.Ofcourse,thatwasbeforetheaccidentthathadclaimedheronlyfamily.

“Sowhatareyougoingtodowithalist?”heasked.
“Isn’titobvious?That’swhatI’mlookingfor.”Shewavedahandtowardthephone.“Ididalot

ofthinkingaboutwhatIwantinacompanionandthat’sit.”

“It’sso…scientific.”
“I’mascientificgirl.”
“Whatifyoumeetsomeonewho…”Heglancedatthelist.“Getsyourheartraterampedupbut

he’sanup-and-comingartist?Notyetsuccessful?”

“ThenIhavenointerestingoingoutwithhim.”
Henoddedhisheadinspiteofhiscompletedisagreement.“Blackandwhite.”
“Precisely.”
“Howareyougoingtomeetallthesemen?Theremustbealotofsingleguysat—whereisit

youworkuntilallhoursofthenight,anyway?”

“HalversonSystems.I’mleadinganartificialintelligenceprojectrightnowforthe…”She

pausedandpushedherglassesup,moreoutofnervousnessthannecessityifhehadtoguess.“You
don’twanttoheardetails.No,Iwon’tlookfordatesatwork.I’llstartonline.”

Hedidn’tsayaword,thoughhehatedtothinkwhatafull-timejobitwouldbetosortthrough

theidiotsandcreeps.

“What?It’saviablemethodoffindinglove.”
“Quinnwouldgointocardiacarrest.”
“He’snothere,aswealreadydiscussed.”
ThatfactthrewAlexintooneheckofadilemma.Quinnwasn’there—somecouldeasilypoint

outbecauseofAlex—andthereforenoonewaslookingoutforTaylor.Noonewasheretoensure
thatshewasn’ttakenadvantageoforhurt.Hehadayoungersisterhimself.Hewasplentywell-versed
intheartofplayingwatchdog,but…

Damn.
AsQuinn’sbestfriend,he’djustgottenapromotiontoheadass-kicker.

CHAPTERTWO

NEPROBLEMWITH

stayingattheWorthfamilyhome,eventemporarily,wasthelackofpeace.Livingwith

twowomen—especiallywhenthosetwowomenwereAlex’salways-on-the-gomotherandhis
overachievingsister—requiredastrongconstitution.

AlexsatatthekitchentablelateSaturdaymorningfinishingthelastofthebaconandeggshe’d

friedashetriedtomakeheadwayonhissearchforavehicle.Hehadn’townedoneforyears,hadn’t
neededto,anddidn’tcarefortheideaofpurchasingonenow.Butitwasthatorbeathissister ’s
mercy.

He’dbuythreecarstoavoidrelyingonherwhimsandinsaneschedule.
Atthatmoment,Vienna,whowasalsothebabyofthefamily,stormedintotheroom,hertypical

hurricaneself,andwentstraightfortherefrigerator.Sheemergedwithatwenty-four-ouncecanof
RedBull.

“You’reupearly,”hesaiddryly,glancingathiswatch.Itwasnearlyeleven.Normallyhissister

wasawakeintimetocoaxthesuntorise.

“HugemarketingstrategiesprojectdueMonday.Iwasworkingonittillsixthismorning.”She

openedthecanandchuggedseveralgulps.“Cavedforashortnapandendedupsleepingthroughmy
alarm.”

Beyondbedhead,therewerenoexternalsignsofsleepdeprivation.Alexhalfchuckled.“Sure

youneedcaffeine,Vee?”

“IneedanIVofit.DoubtI’llbesleepingfortherestoftheweekend.”
“You’lldofine,”hetoldher,meaningit.
Alexhadlongagofiguredthat,atfivefeettallwhenshestretched,hissisterhadtobluster

aroundasshedidtomakepeoplenoticeher.Andnoticehertheydid.Thoughshewashalf-pintinsize
andworeherdark-brownhairshortandpixie-style,shehadenoughdriveforallthreeWorthsiblings
—andyoucouldtellthatjustbylookingather.Ofcourse,Alexwastheonlyoneofthemwhohad
everbeenshortondrive.

Thatwaspre-army.Thingshadchangedsincehe’dlastlivedhere.He’dchanged.Ithadnever

beensoevidenttohimaswhenhehungoutinthesmallhubofthefamilyhomewiththecountry-
Frenchdecor.Hislongframedwarfedtheround-backedwoodenchairhenowsatin,makingitcreak
wheneverhemoved.

Viennasetherdrinkonthecounterandopenedthepantrynexttotherefrigerator.Without

hesitation—hewasn’tsuresheeverhesitatedaboutanything—shepulledafamily-sizeboxof
chocolate-and-marshmallowcerealdownfromtheshelf.Insteadofbotheringwithabowl,shecupped
herhand,pouredinapileofsugar-coatedcrapandshoveditintohermouth.Onewouldthinkhaving
adentalhygienistinthefamilywoulddictatealesssugarygrocerylist,buttheirmomhadalways
jokedthatpeoplelikeherchildrenkeptheremployed.

“Getabowl,Vienna.”CherylWorthmarchedinandbeelinedforthefridgenext.
“Notime,Mom.”Viennarefilledherhandandpouredmorecerealdownherthroat.“Whatare

yourhourstoday?”

“Noontonine.I’mgoingtothepostofficeandthebankontheway.”

TheirmotherhadworkedweekendsatadepartmentstoreinadditiontoherMonday-through-

FridaydentalgigforaslongasAlexcouldremember.Thoughthere’dbeenatimeaftertheirdadhad
takenoffwhenithadprobablybeennecessary,shemaintainedthatshediditnowbecauseshe
wouldn’tknowwhattodowithoutit.Wouldn’tknowwhattodowithouttheemployeediscountwas
morelikeit.

Cheryllaidanassortmentofveggiesoutonthecounterandslicedafatcarrotintoaplastic

container.Thewomencontinuedtodiscusssales,shoes,schedulesandGodknewwhatelseasAlex
pushedhisnow-emptyplateasideanddrewthenextfreebienewspapercloser.They’dbothdisappear
soonfromthesoundofit.

Thesidedoortothegarageslammedshutassomeoneelseenteredthehouse.Alexcouldn’tsee

thehallwayfromwherehesat.

“Whathappenedtoyou?”Viennaaskedwhoeverhadjustcomeinside.
“Biteme.”Marshall,theoldestWorthsibling,saunteredintotheroom,makingitseemcrowded.
Alexgapedathisdisheveledbrother.“Yourshowerbroken?Somebodydie?”
“Goodtoseeyou,too,soldier.”
ThemonikerneverfailedtograteonAlex’snerves.“That’sofficertoyou,bigguy.”Whocould

blamehimforreplyingwiththenicknamehe’dcomeupwithyearsagoasasubtlereminderhehad
aboutthreeinchesandtwentypoundsofmuscleonhisbrother?“Youlooklikehell.”

Marshallgruntedinresponseandtookhisturnatthefridge.
“Helpyourself,”Alexsaiddryly,feelingterritorialoverthegrocerieshe’dpickedupthis

morninginaboutofsympathyfortheirmom.ShewasonlyusedtohavingoneViennatofeedand,
thoughshemeantwell,herforagingattemptforAlex’sreturnhadn’tbeensufficient.

“Welcomehome,”Marshallsaidasheclosedthefridgedoor,ashiny,darkredappleinhishand.

Withoutrinsingitoff,hesankhisteethnoisilyintoitandleanedagainstthecounter,chewing.His
eyeswerehollow,perpetual-stressstyle.Hishair,normallyshortandneat,coulduseatrimby
Marshall’spretty-boystandards.Hispaleblue,button-downshirt,hisversionofcasual,lookedasif
he’dsleptinitandhunguntuckedoverhisdarkbluejeans.

“ApparentlyI’vemissedalot,”Alexsaid.
“Goingtowarwilldothat.”MarshalltookthechairnexttoAlex,fallingwearilyintoit.
“Amongotherthings.”Alexregisteredtheacheinhisleftlegthatwasalwaysthere,soconstant

healmostmanagedtoforgetitatmomentslikethiswhenitwasn’tflaringup.

“I’mgoingbackin,”Viennasaidafterreturningthecerealboxtothepantry.“IfIdon’tresurface

bytomorrownight,sendinnourishment.”Shespeddownthehallwayandupthestairstothebig
bedroomabovethegaragethatshe’dtakenoverwhentherestofthemhadleftthenest.

“I’llbegladwhenshefinishesherMBA,”Cherylsaid,shootingaconcernedglanceoverher

shoulderatheronlydaughter.“Idon’tknowhowsheexistsonsolittlesleep.”

“Likemother,likedaughter,”Alexsaid.
Theirmomreturnedthevegetablebagstotherefrigeratorandcoveredherlunchcontainerwith

aplasticlid,thenstuffeditandacanofpopintoherpink,insulatedlunchbag.Sheflittedaroundthe
house,collectingeverythingshe’dneedforaneight-hourshift.“Therearechickenpattiesinthe
freezer.Bunsinthebreadbin,”shecoachedfromthehallasiftheywereteenagersstayingwithout
parentsforthefirsttime.“Maybeyouboyscancatchuptoday.”

“Later,Mom.”
AlexandMarshallweren’tbestbuddiesbutAlexcouldhandlehisbrothermostdays.Marshall

wascalmer,quieterthanthewomen.

“Forgothowmuchnoisethetwoofthemcanmake,”Alexsaid,standingslowly,takingtimeto

stretchhislegnowthathismomwasn’taroundtowitnessit.Hewenttothecounterandpreppedthe

coffeemaker.“Wantsomecoffee?”

Marshallranhishandoverhisfaceandnodded.“Extra-strength.”
Alexeyedhisbrotherashescoopedgroundsfromthelargecan.Somethingwasdefinitelyup.

EitherMarshallhaduncharacteristicallytiedoneonlastnightorsomethingwaseatingawayathim.
Alexwasn’tonetopry,though.

“What’swithallthebird-cageliners?”Marshallindicatedthestackoffliersandnewspapers.
“Ineedsomewheels.”
“Youstickingaround,then?”
Alexstartedthepotbrewingandturned,leanedagainstthecounter.“Areyoukidding?What

wouldIdohere?”

“Whatchoicedoyouhave?Thoughtthealternativewaspaper-pushingstateside.”
“WouldbeifIacceptedthearmydoc’sopinion.”
Marshallstudiedhim,headtiltedslightly.OldhabitsdiedhardandAlexbecameantsyunderthe

scrutiny.Amazinghownine-plusyearsintheservice,buildinganadmirablecareerpriortothecrash,
couldgooutthewindowwhenyouwerestareddownbyyourolderbrother.

“Sowhat’stheplan?Somekindofsurgeryyouhaven’thad?Wonderdrugs?”Marshalldidn’t

soundjudgmental,toAlex’ssurprise.

“Nobigmiracle.JusthardworkwiththePT.It’sbeenthreemonthssincethearmyevaluatedmy

legandI’vebeenworkingoutthewholetime.”

“Howlongdoyouthinkit’sgoingtotaketogetbackuptospeed?”Marshallactuallyseemed

interestedandfullyalertforthefirsttimesincehe’dstumbledin.

“CoupleofmonthsifI’mlucky.Itsohappensoneofthebesttherapistsinthecountryisa

womaninChicago.”

“Youplantocallher?”
“Iplantomeethernextweek,”Alexsaid,takingapairofmugsfromtheancientmugtree.

“WhichiswhyIneedwheels.”

“Ifyoudon’tfindanything,I’lltakeyou.”
Alexpouredcoffeeandraisedhisbrowsathisbrotherashesetthemugsonthetable.Marshall

wasn’tknownforgoingoutofhiswayforAlex.Chicagowastwohourseachwayonagoodday.

“Noneedtotaketimeoffwork,”Alexsaid.“I’llfindacar.”Hecrossedtheroomagaintograb

thesugarbowl.Hecouldn’tstandunsweetenedcoffee.Backatthetable,hespoonedintwoheaping
pilesofthewhitestuffandstartedtostir.

“IhadtoshutdownWorthPublishing.”
Alexfroze.“Whatdidyousay?”Hisbrainwasn’tprocessingright.
“Addittothelong,sadlistofbelly-upbusinesses.”
Alexturnedtoscrutinizehisbrother ’sfacebutitonlytookhalfasecondtoascertainthathewas

deadserious.

WorthPublishingwasMarshall’slife.Hedidn’thaveawifebecausehewasmarriedtohisjob,

clichéornot.Fromthetimehewasnineyearsold,he’dinundatedthefamilywith“magazines”he’d
createdhimself,orsothestorywent.He’dplannedonajournalismdegreefromninthgradeonand
followedhisplantostartuphisownpublication.Ayearandahalfafterhegraduatedfromcollege,
thefirstvolumeofLakeLife,afull-blownhoity-toitybimonthlymagazinefocusedonWisconsin
living,wasreleased.ThelastAlexknew,thecompanyhadsomethinglikenineortenfull-time
employeesandhadmovedtopublishingeverymonth.

“Whatthelivinghell?”
Marshallpushedhischairbackashestoodabruptly,anditslammedintothewallbeneaththe

windowsill.Hetookoffdownthehallandoutthedoortothegarage.Alexsworeoutloud,hesitated,

thenfollowedhim.Hefoundhimonthedriveway,shootinghoopswithanoldbasketballthathadlost
itsbumpytexture.

Alexreboundedhisbrother ’sshotandtookoneofhisown.Theycontinuedwithoutspeakingfor

severalminutes,politelytakingturns.Thatgraduallyledtoaone-on-onebattle,duringwhichAlex
schooledMarshall.

“I’moutofpracticeandoutofshape,”Marshallsaidastheyhuffedforbreath.
“Ihaveabumleg,man.I’dbeatyoublindfolded.”Alexwipedsweatfromhisforeheadwiththe

bottomofhisT-shirtandsteeledhimselfagainstthepaininhisleg.“Sowhatareyougoingtodo?”

“Do?Aboutmycareer?”Marshalldribbledtheballhard,punishingit.“HellifIknow.Ihearfast

foodisalucrativefield.”

“Youhavemoneytogetby?”
Marshall’sjawtightened.“Ihaven’ttakenapaycheckforfourmonths.”
AlexsworeagainandMarshallsaid,“Amen,brother.”
“DoesMomknowanyofthis?”
Marshallshookhisheadasheblewoutatensebreath.“Haven’tfiguredouthowtotellher.I’m

thinking‘Ineedtomovebackhome’mightbeastartingpoint.”

“She’llbesohappytohavebothofhersonsbackshewon’tknowwhattodo,”Alexsaid

sarcastically.Theirmomlovedthemplenty,hefullyacknowledged,butwhowantedacoupleof
grown,joblesssonsbunkingandtriplingthegrocerybill?

“NeverthoughtI’dbeinthisposition.NoideawhereI’mgoing,whatI’mdoing.Nodirection.”
“I’velivedlikethathalfmylife,”Alexreplied.“Guessitdoesn’tmatterwhetheryouknowwhat

youwantallalongorifyoufigureitoutwhenyou’renineteenyearsold.Losingitisabigpileof
crap.”

Eitherhellwasfreezingoveror,forthefirsttimeinhistwenty-nineyears,Alexandhisolder

brotherhadsomethingincommon.

“Truerwordswereneverspoken.”Marshalldrilledtheballintothegroundagain,forcingitto

bounceoffthepavementsoharditwentashighasthetopofthetwo-storyhouse.“IbelieveI’ve
figuredouttheonethingI’lldofirst.”Hecheckedhisoverpriceddesignerwatch.“Closeenoughto
noon.ThinkI’llhavemyselfabeer.”

“NeverthoughtI’dsaythistoyou,bigguy,butthat’sadamngoodidea.IbelieveI’lljoinyou.”

CHAPTERTHREE

OING

OCRY

ODAY

Taylorkneeledonthebathroomfloornexttothetub.Shestretchedherfingers,takingabreak

fromscrubbingtheshowergroutwithanoldtoothbrush.Scrubbingittowithinaninchofitsbloody
life,asQuinnhadalwayssaid.

Notears,notears,notears.
She’drepeatedthewordslikeamantra.Alldaylong.Maybeifshesaidthemenough,she’d

believethemandgetthroughtheafternoonwithouthavingacompletesystemfailureinfrontofAlex.

WhyincreationhadsheagreedtohavehimhelphersortthroughQuinn’sremaining

belongings?Therestofit—theclothes,high-schooltrophies,yearbooks—that’dbeenatraumatic
task.Intruth,sheprobablycould’vefigureditoutherselfifshe’dtried,butshehadn’tfeltupto
tacklingit.Really,thetaskcouldwaitanotheryear…ortwelve.

Sheknewwhyshe’djumpedatAlex’soffer,though.Shewasacoward.Terrifiedoffacingthe

basementalone,becauseifshedid,hercontrolcouldslip,andshe’dalreadycriedhereyesoutfora
weekstraightwhenshe’dsortedthroughhisbedroom.Theloneliness,theemptinessofQuinn’s
downstairsworkoutroom,wherehealsokepthisguncollection,mightjustkillher.Shemightnever
stopcrying.Havingsomeonewithherwasasafetynet.

HavingthatsomeonebeAlexWorthwasthedumbestplanshe’dformulatedyet.
Taylorcheckedherwatchthroughtear-blurredeyes,cursingthepainfulballinthebackofher

throat.Fifteenminutestillhe’dsaidhewouldarrive.Maybeifshebawledhereyesoutnow,she’dget
itoutofhersystem.Yeah,andthenshecouldgreethimlookinglikeshe’dbeenstaringatacomputer
monitorforaweekstraight.

Bitingherlowerlipandshakingherheadresolutely,sheattackedthegroutagain.Itwasdifficult

totellwhereshe’dstoppedcleaningbecause,truthbetold,itdidn’tneedtobedone.Therewasno
markeddifferencebetweenbeforeandafter.That’swhatadeathinthefamilycoulddotoa
cleanaholic.Acoupleofmonthsago,she’dconsideredreplacingtheoldtubandallthetilearoundit
—originaltothefifty-five-year-oldhouse,shewascertain—withoneofthoseone-piece,tile-free
models.Butthenwhatwouldshedofortherapy?Ifshewasreallygoingtosellthehouse,though,
she’dhavetolookintothepossibility.

Aknockonthebackdoorstartledher.Shedroppedthetoothbrushinthetubandjumpedup.

Checkedherwatchagain.Drat.Hewasearly.Normallythatwasatraitsheappreciated,buttodayshe
neededeverysecondshecouldgettoforcethelumpoutofherthroat.Steelherself.Startbelieving
thatmantraofhers.

Theknockcameagainasshehurriedthroughthelivingroomintothekitchen.
Lordhelpher.Notgoingtocrytoday.
Shegavethecornersofhereyesonefinalswipewithherindexfingersandhoardedoxygen.

Openedthedoor.AndforthethousandthtimewasjoltedbythemeresightofAlexWorth.Those
broadshoulders,thenarrowhips.Thestubbleonhischinthatpartiallycamouflagedhisscarand
somehowmadehimevenmoreattractive.Thesharpgrayeyesthatcould’vebeendreamyonanother,
softerface.Onhistheywerearresting.Toher,disconcerting.

HisvirilityseemedtosuckoutherIQlikeastrawinthelastdropsofchocolateshake.
“H-hi.You’reearly.”
“You’reflusteredandyousmellfaintlylikebleach.”
Heatfloodedhercheeks.“Sorry.Iwascleaning…”
“Noneedtoapologize,Scarlet.Ididn’tintendtobeearly.Wasn’tsurehowlongit’dtakemeto

walk.”

“Youwalkedfromyourmom’shouse?Isn’tthatacoupleofmiles?”
“ThreeandahalflasttimeIchecked.”
“Withyourleg?Ifyouneededaride—”
“Ineededawalk.MayIcomein?”
Shejumpedbacksohecouldenter,theblushnotrecedingatall.Alexbrushedbyandshemade

themistakeofbreathinginjustso,catchinghismasculine,woodsyscent.

“Wouldyoulikeadrink?Somecookies?”Tayloropenedthecabinetandsearchedforanything

shecouldfeedhim.“I…didn’tgetmorebeeryetbutIhavetea.”

Alexchuckledbehindher—shewasn’tsurewhy—andsaid,“No.Notea.Thanks.”
“Water?Cookies?”SowhatifshewastryingtoputoffwalkingdownintoQuinn’s“man

room”?

“I’mgood.Doyouhavethehome-improvementlistdone?”
Gratefulforthestall,shetookthelistfromthesideoftherefrigeratorwhereshe’dhungitwith

amagnetandhandedittohim.“That’stheexhaustiveversion.Idon’texpectyoutodoallofthat,”she
said,regrettingwritingeverylasttaskdown.

Heperusedit,flippeditovertotheback.“Lookslikeyou’relosingyourtouch.”
Alarmed,shemovedcloserandreadoverhisshoulder,orrather,nexttohisshoulder,tryingto

figureouthererror.

“Iexpectedyoutohaveeachoneweightedforpriority,”hesaid,shovingthelistintohisback

pocket.

“Oh.Ididconsiderthat,butI’dratheryoujustdothethingsthatyouwanttotakeon.Ididn’t

knowifyourlegwouldholdyouback…”

“Mylegisn’tgoingtoholdmeback.”Hiswordscameoutharshly,asifdrivenbyangeror

frustration.Orboth.

Atthatmoment,Taylorbelievedhewouldflyahelicopteragain.Soon.ThisAlexwasdecidedly

differentfromtheapathetichigh-schoolkidsheremembered.

“Let’sgetstarted,”hesaid.
Taylorsuckedinafortifyingbreath.“Okay.Yes,let’sgetstarted.”

LEXFOLLOWED

AYLOR

downintothebasement.Ashetookthelaststepwithhisgoodleg,hewas

blindsidedbythedank,dimfamiliarity.Thewood-paneledfamilyroomseemedtovibratewith
Quinn’spresence.

They’dspenthoursdownhere,inhighschoolandafter.Summers,weekends.Thereweretimes

whenAlexhadpracticallyliveddownherehimself.They’dplayedvideogames,Ping-Pong,worked
out,watchedTV…whentheyweren’tfishingorplayingsports,chancesweregoodyou’dfindthemin
thiscave.

AlexswallowedhardandfakedasmilewhenTaylorglancedbackathim,apparentlynoticinghe

wasslowgettingdownthestairs.Thistimethepainwasn’tsomuchinhisleg.Hisheadthrobbedand
threatenedtoexplode.

“Doesithurt?”sheasked,frowning.
Likehe’dbeenflattenedbyagoddamntank.“I’mfine.”Hewastiredofbeingaskedhowhewas,

ifhisleghurt,ifhewasokay.

Taylorpausedatthedoortotheotherfinishedroom,straightenedhershouldersandthenforged

inside.

Atthedoorway,AlexsteeledhimselfagainstthefeelingthatQuinnshouldbesittingthereonthe

benchwaitingforhimtospotwhilehelifted.Heshutoutthepangofsharpgriefashescannedthe
roomheknewsowell.Nothinghadbeenmovedaninch.Theworkoutequipment,coverednowwitha
thickblanketofdust,stillloomedinthecenterofthepolishedconcretefloor.Hetriednottonotice
theweightlevelstillsittingatthreehundredpounds.RefusedtothinkaboutthetimeQuinnhadfinally
hitthatgoal.

Theguncabinetwasinthefarcorner.Thelargeheavy-dutycontainerwhereQuinnstoredhis

fishinggearwheneverhewasn’tintownstoodnearthedoortothefurnaceroom.Thestereoonthe
foldingtable,consideredgargantuanbytoday’sstandards,datedbacktotenthgradewhenQuinnhad
savedhisallowancetobuyit.Alexknewwithoutlookingthatthebanged-upcardboardboxnexttoit
heldtheCDsthathadn’tmadethecutwhenQuinnhadgoneintobasictrainingyearsago,pre-MP3
era.

Shit,thisblew.
Oritwouldifhehadn’thadmonthsofpracticeshuttingitalldown.
“Theguns,”Taylorsaid,hervoicehoarsewithsadness.“Let’sdothosefirst.”
Shetookakeychainoutofthepocketofherbaggyhoodiesweatshirtandattemptedtounlock

thecabinet.Thethirdkeyworked.Oncesheopenedit,shestoodbackandgesturedtowardit.

“Goahead,”Alexsaid.
“No,thanks.Idon’tlikeguns.”
“Healwaysmadesuretheywereunloaded,youknow.”
Taylorshrugged.“You’retheexpert.That’swhyyou’rehere,right?”
Somethinglikethat.Alexopenedthedoorshe’dunlockedandpulledonQuinn’sglovestokeep

oilfromhishandsofftheguns.HetookouttheWinchesterriflefirst.Hewasn’tthegunfanQuinn
hadbeen,buthecouldappreciatethecollectionjustthesame.

“Whateveryouwantisyours,”Taylorsaid.Sheslidherbackdownthewalltositonthefloora

fewfeetaway,whereshecouldseebutwasn’tcloseenoughtohandletheguns.

“Don’tyouwanttokeepanyofthem?”
“I’veneverlikedhavingtheminthehouse.Ifyoudon’ttakethem,I’lljustsellthem.Postthem

onlineorsomething.”

“No.”
“No?”
“Absolutelynot.Youcan’tputagunupforgrabsontheinternet.Youcouldgetallkindsof

craziesshowingupatyourdoor.”Hecringedtothinkwhataclusterthatwouldbe.ThankGodshe’d
broughtthesuggestionupsohecouldpreventit.

“Oh.”Hecouldseeherimaginingthepossibilitiesasshefrowned.“Ihadn’tthoughtaboutthat.

SowhatdoIdo?”

“Ifyoureallywanttogetridofthem,I’lltakecareofitforyou.Iknowsomeguyswhomight

beinterestedinacoupleofthem.TherestIcantaketogundealers,seewhowillgiveusthebest
price.”

Alexcontinuedtounloadthecabinet,inspectingeachone.Heleanedtheriflescarefullyagainst

thewallandsetthesmallergunsonthefoldingtablebythestereo.Fornow,hetreatedtheprocess
likebusiness.Hewasn’tanexpertandhadn’tpurchasedagunhimselfforacoupleofyears,buthe

silentlyestimatedwhatshecouldgetforeachone.Notthatsheneededthemoneywithherall-
powerfulcomputer-wizardjob.

“Whataboutthisone?”heasked,pullingoutQuinn’sAR-15.“Itwashisfavorite.Theonehe

boughthimselfforChristmasthreeorfouryearsago.Rememberthat?”

Taylorglancedatthegunheheldandnodded.“Iremember.Youshoulddefinitelytakethatone.”
Alexlookeditover,admiringthebluingofthemetal.“Idon’tknow.”
Itdidn’tseemrighttakinganyofthem.TheywereQuinn’s,dammit.He’dspentyearsacquiring

these,startingwhentheywerestillinschool,withMarshall’shelpwhentheyweretooyoungtomake
thepurchase.

AndQuinnwasnolongerheretocleanthem,usethem—hell,evendecidetosellthem.
“Ifyoudon’ttakeit,somestrangerwillendupwithit,”Taylorsaid.
Henoddedslowly,thinkinghowthatwould’vemadeherbrothercrazy.“Imight.Letmeknow

beforeyoudoanythingelsewithit.”HewenttohandtheAR-15tohertosetonthetable.

Taylorstaredupathimbutdidn’ttakethegun.
“What’swrong?”Hesteppedclosertoher.“Youwon’ttouchit?Really?”
“Gunsscareme,”shesaidquietly,andhissurprisedisappeared,theoldprotectivenessreplacing

iteventhoughshewascompletelysafeandtherewasnothinghere,rightnow,thatcouldharmher.

“Thinkofitasjustabunchofmetal.Noammo.It’ssafe.”
Sheeyedtheweaponasifitwasacobradancingoutofabasket.“No,thanks.”
“Ifyouwanttogetridofthem,acoatofoilmightbeadvisable.Whichpresentsachallengeif

youdon’twanttotouchthem.”

Shestaredupathimhesitantly.“Iwashopingmaybeyoucouldhelpme?”
“Youwerehoping,huh?”
Thiswasoneofthosetimesshelookedsoyoung,likeanunsurelittlegirlwhocouldeasilyget

hurt.ItwasdifficultforhimtosaynotothatversionofTaylor.

Shesatforward,andbeforeherealizedwhatshewasdoing,shetouchedthesideofthegunhe

heldwithonefingerthenquicklyretractedherarm.

“There.”Shelookedsmug.
Alexalmostgrinned.“Really?”
“Itouchedit.Nowwillyouhelpmeoilthem?Please?Ordoyourequirefurtherbribery?”
“Whatdidyouhaveinmind?”
“I’doffertodoyourmathhomeworkbut…”
Hecouldn’thelpcrackingagrinatthat.Eventhoughshewasthreeyearsyoungerthanhimand

Quinn,there’dbeenplentyoftimeswhentheyhadconvincedhertodoexactlythat—andshealways
hadbeenmorethancapable.Ofcourseshewasthewhizkidwho’dgraduatedearlyfromhighschool
andalreadyhadcollegecreditsunderherbeltwhenshedid.

“Home-cookedmealsholdalotofleverage,”hesaid,reactingtotherumbleinhisstomach.
Shestaredathimforamoment,maybetogaugewhetherhewasserious.
“I’llhelpyouwiththeguns—nocookingrequired,”herelented.He’dconvinceViennatotake

himforcarry-outwhenhegothome.

Hershouldersseemedtorelaxandhewonderedwhyshewasalways—still—sotentativearound

him.They’dknowneachotherforyears.Thishousehadbeenlikeasecondhometohim.

“Nothingtoworryabout,Scarlet.I’llhandleit.OkayifIkeepthemdownhereuntilIfindhomes

forthem?”

“Ofcourse.Thankyou.I’mmakingalistofthemforyou.”Sheheldupherphonetoshowhim

she’dtypedtheheadingGunInventory.

“Listtime,isit?”

Shefrownedandheresolvedtotrytostopteasinghersomuch.
“Tellmewhateachoneis,”shesaid,“andI’llemailyoutheinformation.”
EvenifAlexhadn’tknownmuchaboutguns,hecould’vegivenheradetailedsummaryofevery

oneQuinnowned.He’dgonewithhimtopurchasemostofthemandhadlistenedtoQuinndebate
withhimselfeverytimehe’dgottentheurgetoaddtohiscollection.Herattledofftheinfonow,
slowly,asTaylorentereditintoherphone.

“What’snext?”heaskedwhentheywerefinallythroughthelistofriflesandhandguns.
Taylorblewoutalongbreaththatmadetheloosewispsofhairaroundherfaceflyupward.

“Takeyourpick.Exerciseequipmentorfishing.”Shestoodslowly,wearily,andtypedsomethingelse
intoherphone.

Alexmightbeblockingoutthesignificanceoftheirtaskbuthecouldtellitwastakingatollon

Taylor.“Wanttotakeabreak?”

Hereyesflutteredshutandsheleanedherheadbackagainstthedarkwoodpaneling.Herlong

lashesbeneathherglassescaughthiseyeandhetookasteptowardherwithoutthinking,instinctively
wantingtoreassureher.Ofcoursetherewasnoreassuring.Quinnwasgoneandtherewasnowayto
makethateasiertoswallow.

Sheopenedhereyesandmethisgaze,determinationsuddenlyemanatingfromher,takinghim

bysurprise.Momentslikethisservedtoremindhimshewasafullycompetentadult,notjustQuinn’s
kidsister.

“I’dliketogetthroughallthemanstuffwhileyou’rehere,ifyouhaveenoughtime.”
“Let’sgetitdone,then.”
Theworkoutequipmentwasquick,sincemostofitwouldbesoldasaset.Theywipeditdown

andmadesureeverythingworked.Quinnsuggestedapriceandshemadeanotetoputanadonline.
ThentheymovedontoQuinn’sfishinggear.Rodsandreels,tackleandtherestofit—evenmorethan
theguns,thiswaswhoQuinnwas.Hispreferredbrandofrods,storedverticallyinonesectionofthe
cabinet.NeonorangeandyellowbobbersthatQuinnhadswornwereluckierthanothercolors.An
entiretackleboxfullofnothingbutline,organizedneatly,securedwithwires.Ifyoucomparedhis
geartoAlex’s,itwasimmediatelyevidenttheywereopposites,atleastinthis,andyou’dwonderhow
thehecktheycouldbefriends.

Alexlaughedquietly.“Mytackleboxalwaysmadehimcringe.”
“Hementionedthat.Acoupleoftimes.”
“Coupleofhundred,morelikely.Hewasn’toverlyneatinanyotherareaofhislifebuthis

fishinggearmademethinkhehiredyoutoorganizeit.”

Herglanceskimmedthefloorshyly.“SomehowIthinkthatmightbeaninsult.”
Heshookhisheadabsently,fortifyinghimselfagainagainstthegrief.Overthenextforty-five

minutes,astheysatonthecool,hardfloorandsortedthroughmorefishinggearthantheentirearmy
couldmakeuseof,hekeptaneyeonTaylorforsignsshewaslosingit.Awomanintearscouldlevel
himasahandgrenadecouldn’t.Ifshewasgoingtobreakdown,hewantedasmuchheads-upashe
couldget.

Taylorhadkeptittogethersofar,though.She’dbeenfightingtearstheentireafternoon.

Fightingthemhardanddoinganimpressivejobofit,inhisestimation.

Shecontinuedtomakethesortingasbusinesslikeasshecould.Efficient.Organized.Listsonher

phone.Andthenheopenedthehingedlidofthelastplasticbox.

Alexdidn’timmediatelynoticeherreaction.Thenaknotformedinhischestasrealization

dawned.

“Thisistheboxhealwaystookwithhimwhenhefished.”
Itwasn’tasneatastheothers,buteverythinginitreflectedthelastjauntQuinnhadtaken—a

rivertrip,Alexguessedfromthegear.

Taylor ’sthin,palearmcameintohisviewasshereachedacrosshimandgrabbedsomething.

Shehelditinfrontofhercarefullytoavoidgettingslicedbyoneofthemultiplehooksontheneon
pinklure.Helookedatherfaceintimetoseeatearescapeandtraildownherlightlyfreckledcheek.

Damn,butheneededtogetoutofhere.
Instead,hetouchedherforearmbriefly,helplessly.
“IgavehimthiswhenIwasseven,”shesaidinachokedvoiceafterquicklydryingherfacewith

thebackofherhand.“Idon’tthinkheeveronceusedit—forallIknowit’sonlygoodforcatching
salmonintheBeringSea.”

“Itwashisgood-luckcharm,”Alextoldher.“Hetookitwithhimwhereverhewent.Lakeshere

locally,rivers,atripupnorth.Healwaystriple-checkedtomakesurethatlurewasinthebox.”

“Youcanhaveeverythingelse.ThisisallIwant.”
Hemadethemistakeoflookingherintheeye.Thedepthofthesadnesstheredidit.Didhimin.
He’dbeenoverandoverthecrashthathadkilledQuinn.Couldremembereverysecondofit,

recallhiseverydecisionasthehelicopterhadcomeunderattackandhe’dattemptedtobringthe
disabledBlackhawkdownsafely.He’dthoughtthroughitadnauseumduringthenever-endingweeks
he’dspentinthehospitalandthenrehab.He’dthoughtaboutQuinneverydaysincehe’dbeenbackin
theStates.Torturedhimselfwithquestionsanddoubts.Butdespiteallofthat,therepercussionshad
neverbeensopainfullycleartohimastheywereatthismoment,whenhelookedintoTaylor ’s
haunted,desolateeyes.

Hewasultimatelyresponsibleforthepainthatwastearingthiswomanapart.

CHAPTERFOUR

LEXWENTFROM

onesilentemotionalwomantoonefrantichystericalonewhenheansweredhiscell

phoneonthewalkhome.

“Yo,”hesaid,forcingalightnesshedidn’tfeel,knowingbythenumberonthescreenitwas

eitherhismomorhissister.

“Alex,whereareyou?”Viennaspokeevenfasterthanusual.
“Onmywayhome.What’swrong?”
“You’renotatTaylor ’sstill?Mycomputer,it’sfreakingout.Dead.Idon’tknow.Ican’tfixitand

myprojectisdueinlessthantwodays.I’mgoingtodieifIcan’tgetittowork—”

“Vee,stop.Breathe.”
“Ican’tbreathe,Alex!DoyouknowhowlongI’vebeenworkingonthisthing?OnmyMBA?It

allridesonthisproject!IfIcan’tturnitinontime,it’sFcityforme.”

“Don’tyouthinkyourprofessorwouldunderstand?”
Shelaughedbuttherewasonlycrazeddesperationinthesound.“Notafreakingchance.This

guy’smottois‘Noexcuses.’Ithinkhe’sadirectdescendantofHitler.He’sbeenrubbinghishands
togetherallterm,justwaitingforustofail.”

“Whatdoyouwantmetodo?”Alexasked,knowingtherewasnotalkinghissisterdownwhen

shewassoworkedup.

“Fixit!”
“Youwantmetofixacomputer.”
“It’s…electronic.Youcanfixanything,Alex.”
Heknewhiswayaroundhelicopters,afewmilitaryplanes,andhemightbeabletofakeitona

caraslongasitwasanolderAmericanmodel.“Icanbarelyturnacomputeron,Vienna.”

“ButTaylorcan,right?Yousaidshe’sgotahigh-powercomputerjob.Canwecallher?”
“Idon’tthinkcomputerrepairisherstrongpoint…”
“Canyouask?Ifshespendseighthoursadaywiththesestupidthings,maybesheknowsmore

thanyouandmecombined?”

Morelikeeighteenhoursaday,hethought.
“Aren’ttherecompanieswhowillcometoyourhouseforproblemslikethis?Mobilegeeksor

something?”

“It’sSaturdaynight.”Hervoicewasstartingtosoundgenuinelypanicked.“Please,canyouat

leastaskTaylor?Whereareyou?I’llcomepickyouupandwecantakemylaptopover.”

Callhimaselfishbastardbuttheprospectofnothavingtowalkanotherthreemilesonalegthat

wasnowthrobbingafterbending,stretchingandsquattingallafternoonhaddefiniteappeal.And
maybeTaylorcouldhelp.

“I’llcallherandask,”hesaid.“Waittohearbackfromme.”
“Thankyouthankyouthankyou.”Shedisconnectedbeforehecouldtellhernottogetherhopes

up.

AYLORGAZEDATHER

reflectionasshecombedthroughherwethair.Herskinwaspinkfromthescalding

showershe’dtakeninanattempttowashoffallthebasementdustaswellasthesoul-deepsorrow
that’dbeendoggingherallafternoon.

Althoughshedreadedthelongemptyeveningthatstretchedbeforeher,shewasrelievedAlex

wasgone.Hispresenceputheronguardasnothingelsecould.Shecouldn’texplainit,really,butshe
feltasifheconstantlyscrutinizedhereveryclumsymove.Logically,sheguessedmostofitwasin
herhead,butthatdidn’tmatter.Hemadeherfeeledgyandinadequatejustbybeinginthesameroom.

Still,shecouldn’thavegottenthroughtoday’staskwithouthisassistance.Atleastnotsoquickly.

Itwould’vetakenherweekstoresearcheverything,lookupmodelsandbrandsandretailpricestotry
tofigureoutwhatpricestoask.Plusthebitaboutbeingnaiveenoughtoconsidersellingtheguns
online.Honestly,withouthim,eitherthegunswouldsitinthebasementforeternityorshe’dendup
deadfromacrazedkiller.

Thepileofdustyclothesonthebathroomfloorbeganbuzzingandsherealizedshe’dforgotten

toremoveherphonefromthepocketofhersweatshirt.Lorien,herbluepointSiamese,hadsneaked
inandcurledupontheheap.Taylortossedthecombonthebathroomcounter,tuggedhersweatshirt
outfromunderthecatandduginthepouchforthevibratingcell.

“Hello?”Shedidn’trecognizethenumber.
“Hi,Scarlet,it’sAlex.Isthisabadtime?”
“Um,no?”Wasthereagoodtime?Shefeltshakyjusthearinghisvoice.
“Sorrytobotheryou.Mysister ’shavingacrisisandIpromisedherI’dcall.”Shelistenedashe

explainedaboutVienna’sgrad-schoolprojectandherpotentiallydeadcomputer,andtheshakiness
graduallywentaway.Shecoulddealwithcomputerssomuchbetterthantestosterone-laden,stormy-
eyedhelicopterpilots.

“IcanseeifIcanfigureitout.Mydiagnosticskillsaremediocre.”
“Apparentlyshedoesn’thavemanyoptionsatthispoint.I’llcallher.Iimagineshe’llbethereas

soonasshecandriveoverifthat’sokay.”

“It’sfine.”Patheticasitwas,thethoughtofcompany—lessintimidatingfemalecompany—

brightenedheroutlookfortheevening,evenifitmeantfightingwithamachine.“Anytime.”

“Thanks,Scarlet.”
Taylorfrownedatherselfinthemirrorasshesetthephoneonthecounter.Shewasforever

Scarlet,Quinn’sredheadedlittlesisterwhoneededtobelookedafter.ShewonderedifAlexwould
everseeherasmorethanthat.Asacapablewomanwhocouldwritesomeprettyworld-rocking
computercode.Notlikely,sincesheseemedstuckonstutteringandblushingwheneverhewas
around.

ShethrewonapairofblackleggingsandanoversizeT-shirtshesometimessleptin,thinking

onlyofbeingcomfortableasshetriedtosolveVienna’scomputerproblem.She’dseenAlex’slittle
sisterfromtimetotimeovertheyearswhentheirfamiliesranintoeachother.ThoughTaylorwasn’t
well-acquaintedwithher,sheknewonethingforcertain—Viennawasalotlessnerve-rackingthan
Alex.Easytotalkto,relativelyspeaking.She’dcometoQuinn’sfuneral,alongwiththeirmother.
AlexhadbeenstuckontheEastCoastatthetime,unabletowalkandinprettybadshape.Vienna’s
warmembraceatthevisitationhadseemedgenuineinalonglineofuncomfortablehugsof
obligation.

Taylorhadjustfinishedblow-dryingherhairwhenthedoorbellrang.Elanor,Lorien’sseal

pointsister,beatahastypathtoTaylor ’sroom,nodoubttohideunderthebed.“Cowardcat,”Taylor
calledout,shakingherhead.Lorienpeeredupatherwithdisinterestasshelefttheroom.

TayloropenedthedoorandgreetedVienna.Again,somethingaboutthegirl’smannerwasopen,

friendly,andanynervousnessTaylorhadharboredlessened.

Viennawasdressedindenimshorts,aplainwhitetanktopandglitterypurpleflip-flopsthat

Taylorcovetedonsight.AfaintdarknessbelowVienna’seyeswastheonlyhintthatshewasn’tontop
oftheworld.WhatTaylorwouldn’tgivetolookhalfasput-togetherwithsolittleeffort.

“Taylor.”Viennapulledherintoafriendlyone-armedhug,holdingherlaptoptoherchestwith

theother.“You’reanabsolutedollforagreeingtolookatthisthing.Ifmylifedidn’tdependonit,I
would’vewingeditintothestreetbynow.”

“It’snoproblem,really.IjusthopeIcanfindtheissue.Iloveyourshoes,bytheway.”
“Brand-new,”Viennasaidenthusiastically.“SalesatLaurel’sarethebest.”
“Myfavoritestore.”Taylorsmiled,hertwofavoritesubjects—computersandshoes—relaxing

hertoadegree.

Theancient,rusted-around-the-edgescarbackingoutofherdrivewaycaughthereye.
“IsentAlextopickuppizzasforallofus.Youhaven’teaten,haveyou?”
“No,”Taylorsaid,suddenlyself-consciousathowsloppyshelookedinheralmost-pajamas.

ChangingnowwouldmakeitseemlikeAlex’sopinionmattered,andreally,itdidn’t.

“Ispizzaokay?It’stheleastIcoulddo.”
“Pizzasoundsdeliciousbutyoureallydidn’thaveto.”
“Ha!Youdon’trealizehowmuchmyassisinaslinguntilIcangetthisthingworking.”Vienna

energeticallyenteredthehouseasTaylorwatchedAlexspeedoffdownthestreet.

“Let’sseewhatwecanfigureout.”Sheclosedthefrontdoor,tookthelaptopfromViennaand

headedtothekitchen.Thesoonershegotstarted,thesoonershecouldfinishandthelesstimeAlex
wouldbestuckhangingoutwithher.

Twentyminuteslater,thefrontdooropenedandTaylortensedautomatically—whichwasstupid.

Whyshouldsheworrywhathethoughtofher?

Backtothetaskathand,shetoldherself.ShewasmakingprogressonVienna’sproblem,bitby

bit.Losingherselfinthechallengeagainwasn’thard.ShebelatedlylookedupwhenAlexenteredthe
kitchenandnoticedhewaslimpingsubtly.Hisbackwastoherashesettwolargepizzaboxes,two
smalleronesandapapersackonthecounter.Heopenedthesackandtookoutasix-packofbeer,a
differentbrandfromQuinn’s.HeturnedaroundanddidadoubletakewhenheglancedinTaylor ’s
direction.

Sheself-consciouslyranherhandoverherloosehair,adjustedherglassesandtuckedherbaggy

shirtmoretightlyunderneathherrear.“I’djustgottenoutoftheshowerwhenyoucalled,”she
explained,realizingasshespokethewordshowinanetheysounded.

“Don’tknowwhenI’veseenyouwithyourhairdown,”Alexsaid.
Taylorstudiedthescreen,unsurewhattomakeofhiscomment.Histonesoundedaboutahalf

stepfromteasing.

“Itlooksgooddown,”Viennasaid.“Gorgeouscoppercolor.I’mjealous.”
Taylorfeltheatclimbingupherneckatthecompliment.“Yourhairalwayslooksgood.Itmust

beeasytotakecareof.”

Viennarananonchalanthandoverhershortlocks.“Itworks.Idon’thavethetimeorpatience

foranythingelse.”

“Hatetointerruptthehairfest,”Alexsaid,“butI’meating.Anyonewantabeer?”
“No,thankyou.”Taylorreturnedherattentiontothestubbornhunkofplasticinfrontofher.
“What’syourrush,brothermine?”Viennastoodandwalkedovertothecounter.Shehelped

herselftoabeerandaslice.“Gotahotdatetonight?”

Alexscoffed.“Hellno.”Heputtherestofthesix-packintherefrigeratorthentookouta

breadstickandshovedhalfofitinhismouthatonce.“Taylor ’stheonewhomighthaveahotdate.”

Shepretendedshedidn’thearhimandtypedinacommand.

“Areyougoingouttonight?”Viennaasked,not-so-subtleexcitementunderliningthequestion.

Shesatbackdownatthetable,pullingonefootuponthechairandhuggingherknee.

“No.”LorienrubbedupagainstTaylor ’slegasifofferingmoralsupport.
Alex’ssistercontinuedtostareatherexpectantlyandTaylorfeigneddeepabsorptioninthe

computerscreen.

“Areyoudatingsomeone?What’shetalkingabout?”
Taylorbittheinsideofherlowerliphard.Closedhereyesbrieflyandconsideredhowtomake

thislessembarrassing.“I’mreadytomeetsomeone.Therightsomeone.Ihaven’tdatedmuchandI
justdecidedit’spasttimetogoforit.”Hervoicegotstrongerasshespoke.Shedaredtomeet
Vienna’sgazeandbracedherself,justincaseViennawasasamusedasherbrotherbytheprospectof
Taylorfindingaman.

“That’sawesome,Taylor.”Vienna’sceruleaneyesshonewithencouragement.“Someguyout

therewillbeluckytofindyou.”

Taylorcouldn’thelpherself.SheshotavindicatedglanceatAlex,wholeanedagainstthe

counterstuffingpizzainhismouth.Shecouldswearhemomentarilyfrozewhenhespottedthecatat
herfeet.

“Soyoudon’thavesomeonealreadypickedout?”Viennaasked.
“Actually,maybe.Isignedupwithoneofthoseonlinedatingsites.Oneofmycoworkersmethis

wifeonline.”Shewastalkingtoofastbutcouldn’thelpit.“I’vekindofmetaguyonthissite.”

Alexgaveadisapprovinggrunt,stillstaringatLorienuncertainly.
“Excellent.”Viennaleanedforwardandpracticallyrubbedherhandstogether.“Soyou’regoing

tomeethiminperson?”

“HeaskedmetogooutthisTuesday.”Hercheekswarmedandshecursedtheblushinggene.
“Youcan’tgooutwithsomeguyofftheinternet,”Alexsaid.Lorienpaddedtowardhimand

rubbedagainsthislegs.Hesteppedtotheside.Thecatfollowed.

“Whynot?”Taylorhadstartedaprocessonthelaptopthatwouldtakeafewminutes,soshewent

tothecounter,pickedupapaperplatefromthepizzaplaceandgrabbedasliceoftheveggie-heavy
piefromthebottombox.

“Howdoyouthinkserialkillersmeettheirvictims?”
“Nice,”Viennascoldedhim.“Shutup,killjoy.Don’tlistentohim,Taylor.”
“Lorien,leaveAlexalone.He’safraidofyou,”Taylorscoldedhercat.
“Amnot.”
Taylortriednottolaugh.“You’vebeenstaringather.Catsalwaysgotosomeonewhostaresat

them.”

“Idon’tlikecats.”
“Don’tlistentohim,”Taylorsaidtothefeline,mimickingVienna’swordstoher.
“Comehere,kitty,”Viennasaid,holdingherhanddown.Lorien,beinganattentionhog,strutted

overtoViennaandallowedhertopether.“Backtotheinternetguy.Haveyouseenhispicture?”

“Doeshelooklikeaserialkiller?”Alexactuallysoundedworriedasopposedtojustgivingher

ahardtime.Heglancedatthecat,caughthimselfandlookedaway.

“Heisn’twieldingaknifeinhisphoto.”Taylorgrabbedaplasticforkandcutherselfabiteof

pizza.

Shehadmanyconcernsaboutmeetingthisguy—anyguy—inperson,butbeingoffedwasn’tat

thetopofherlist.Noteveninthetopten.Shewastoofixatedonwhatshewouldsay,whatshewould
wear,whatshe’ddoifheturnedouttobeajerk…whatshe’ddoifheturnedoutnottobeajerk.

“I’msureshe’sbeingcautious,”Viennatoldherbrother.
“Whereareyouplanningtomeetthisguy?”

“It’snothingformal.JusthappyhouratIan’s.”Shecutanotherbite,leaningoverthecounterto

popitinhermouth.

“See?”Viennatoldhim.“Taylor ’ssmart.Big,busypublicplace,daylighthours.”
TaylorwastornbetweenfeelingannoyedthatAlexwastryingtofilltheconspicuouslyvacant

big-brotherroleandbeingateenybittouchedthathecaredenoughtonotwanthermassacredby
somepsychopath.Thatwastwiceinoneday,cometothinkofit.Firstthepotentialgunnutsandnow
theserial-killerdate.Shefinishedchewingandstraightened.“I’mabiggirl,really.”

Alexstoodupstraightaswellandpeereddownather,toweringoverherandemphasizingtheir

eight-ornine-inchheightdifference.“No.You’renot.”

“Bully.”Taylortookherplateandreturnedtothetabletocheckonthecomputer ’sprogress.

Settingherplatetotheside,shetypedrapidly,hersuspicionsabouttheproblembeginningtobe
confirmed.“Itlookslikeyourharddriveisdying.”

“Thatdoesn’tsoundpretty,”Viennasaid,frowningandtakingaswigfromherbottle.“What

doesthatmeanexactly?Canitbefixed?”

Taylortypedsomemore,checkingonelastpossibility.Itconfirmedherdiagnosis.“Itmeans

you’llneedtoreplacethecomputer.”

“Tonight?Isitcompletelydead?”
“I’vegotitworkingfornow.Youneedtosaveeverythingonanexternaldrivejustincase,but

youshouldbeabletofinishyourproject.Iwouldn’trelyonitformorethanafewdays.”

Viennaleanedherheadbackandgroaned.“Nooo.This,”shetoldAlex,standingandtakingher

platetothetrashunderthesink,“iswhyI’msofrantictosecureajobforthefall.I’msickofbeinga
brokegradstudent.Tiredofaskingmomforanotherlumpofcash.”

“Icanloanyouthemoneyforanewcomputer,”Alexsaid,addinghisplatetothetrashafter

devouringatleasthalfofthefoodhe’dbrought.

“Ha,youthinkIwanttobeindebttoyou?”
“Iwon’tchargeyoutoomuchinterest.”
“Good,becauseIwon’tpayyouany.”Viennacrossedherarmsoverherchest,hershoulders

sagging.

ThetwoofthemremindedTaylorofhowsheandQuinnusedtogetalong.Theygaveeachother

ahardtime,butwhenyougotdowntoit,theywerethereforeachother.Family.Asharppangof
longingstruckher,tookherbreathforalongsecond.

“Ihaveseveraloldlaptopsthatstillwork,”Taylorsaid,pushingtheoverwhelmingwaveof

emotionasideasbestshecould.“You’rewelcometoborrowoneforaslongasyouneedit.”

“Taylor,you’vedonetoomuchalready.”
“They’resittingintheclosetinmyofficewastingaway.Nothing’swrongwiththem,justthat

newermodelscomeoutand,well…nevermindaboutthat.I’vebeenmeaningtodosomethingwith
thebetteronesbuthaven’tgottenaroundtoit.Please.Takeoneoffmyhands.”

“Whenyouputitthatway…?.”Viennasaid.“Ifyou’rereallysure,I’lltakeyouupontheoffer.”
“I’lldigoutoneoftheneweronesthisweekandgetitcleanedoffforyou.Justletmeknow

whenyoucanpickitup.”

“Letmegetthisstraight,”Alexsaid,lookingslightlyincredulous.“Youhaveacomputer

collection?Enoughto‘dig’through?”

“Yes.IguessIdo,thoughit’smoreofanoccupationalhazardthananintentionalcollection.”
“Howmanycomputersdoyouhave?”
Taylorthoughtabouttheclosetinherhomeoffice.Itwasheronelapseinneatness.Amilitant

clutterremoverineveryotherway,shehadadifficulttimepartingwitholdlaptops.Itwasodd,she
realized,butshecouldn’tseemtohelpherself.“Morethanahandful,”sheadmitted.

“Ten?”
Shesmiledsheepishlyandshookherhead.
“More?”
Itwasclosertofifteenbuthedidn’tneedtoknowthat.Sheshruggednoncommittally.
“Alexisallergictocomputers,”Viennaexplained.
“Damnstraight,”hesaidproudly.“Fishinggearandgunsaremyspeed.”
“Ah,that’swhyweloveyousomuch.EveryfamilyneedsaNeanderthalfish-catchingbear-

killer.”Viennapattedhimaffectionatelyonhisverytightabdomen—notthatTaylorhadnoticed.

No,shehadn’tnoticedatallwhenhe’draisedhisarmstoliftsomethinginthebasementearlier

andhisshirthadriddenup.Notmorethanadozentimes,anyway.

Alexgrabbedhissisterandpulledhertohisside,rubbingthetopofherheadroughly.There

wasnomistakingthebondbetweenthem.

TheemptinessinTaylorswelledandshelookedawaysotheywouldn’tnoticethewetnessinher

eyes.

Shemissedherbrother.Thoughhe’dspentthepasttenyearsinthemilitary,thishadstillbeen

theplacehelandedwhenhehadtimeoff.Taylorhadtreasuredthefewdayshereandtherewhenhe
camehome.

Shelongedtohavesomeonearoundnow,someonetokeephercompany,teaseher.Yearnedto

havesomeoneelsebreathinginthehousebesidesfurrycritterswholackedconversationskills.She
wasachingforsomeonewhocouldloveher.

AssoonasAlexandViennaleft,she’dgoonlineandtellDanyestoTuesdaynight.Having

companyherethiseveningwasararity.Shewasn’tsurehowmanymorenightsshecouldfaceinthis
silent,somberhouse.

CHAPTERFIVE

RUMMONDWAS

decidedlynotwhatTaylorwaslookingfor.

Ifshehadtolistentoonemorewordaboutvideogames,guildsorlevels,shewasgoingto…

well,shedidn’tknowwhatshe’ddo.Shehadn’tgottenthatfarinherpre-blinddatefreaking-out
sessionbecauseshe’dbeentoocaughtupinimportantmatters,likewhetherornottoputonlipgloss
andwhichpotentialconversationtopicsshe’duseincaseofawkwardsilences.

Anhourandfifteenminutesintothedateandthere’dbeenplentyofawkward.Notenough

silence.

Danwasnotherdreamcompanion.Andshehatedtobeprematurelyjudgmentalbuthewas

crawlingclosertonightmarestatus.

Sheclosedhereyes,savoringthebreakinhisincessantchatter.He’dgonetothebartoget

himselfanother“fullyleaded”soda.Ashe’dexplained,hehadplanstoplaytheonlinegamethat
apparentlyruledhisexistencelatertonightandneededtobeabletostayawaketillallhours.Ifshe
wasn’tsorelievedthathedidn’tintendtotakeuptoomuchofherevening,she’dbeannoyedbyhis
doubleplanning.

Maybeitwasjustnervousnessonhispart,Taylorthoughtasshepickedupthelastpieceoffried

mozzarellafromthecombinationappetizerplatterthey’dshared.Maybeshejustwasn’ttryinghard
enoughtoaskhimquestionsthatdidn’tinvolvehisbelovedgame.Shewas,afterall,rustyondating.
Hadneverbeengoodatsmalltalk,either.

Thesightofhimheadingthroughthehappy-hourcrowdbacktowardtheirtablehadherstifling

agroanofdread.Surelythiscouldn’tlastmuchlonger.Shecouldgetthroughafewmoreminutes,be
pleasant.Actinterested.Well,notinterestedinterested,just…polite.

“So…”Shesearchedhermindforoneofthosetopicsonthelist,somethingtheyhadn’tcovered

inthefirstfiveminutes—theslotoftimebeforehe’ddelvedintohisdisturbingvideo-game
obsession.“HowlonghaveyoulivedinMadison?”

Hesatontheraisedstoolandsetdownhisthirdnon-alcoholicdrinkaswellasabasketof

cheesefries.“Couldn’tresistalittlemorefood,”heexplained.

Beforehecouldanswerherquestion,hetookhisphoneoutofhispocket.
“Excusemejustasecond.Atextfromoneofmyguildguys.”
Fortheloveofallthingsholy…
Taylorglancedaround,desperatelywishingforagracefulwayout.Cometothinkofit,graceful

wasn’tthatimportantatthispoint.Shejustneededtocutherlossesandescape.

Shedidn’tknowwhatshewaslookingfor,butshedidknowpreciselywhatshewasn’tlooking

for.Orwho,morespecifically.HerpulsepickedupwhensherecognizednoneotherthanAlexWorth
sittingatthebar.Hestareddirectlyatherandshewantedtothrowherheadbackinfrustration.Even
better,toduck.

Wasitcoincidencethathewashere?No.He’dpriedoutofherwhenandwhereherdatewas.

Priedwasn’ttherightword—she’doffereduptheinformationlikeanaivelittlelamb.Washespying
onher?Really,whatdidhethinkshewasgoingtodo?Sheprayeddesperatelythathewastoofar
awaytoascertainhowhorriblyherrendezvouswasgoing.

Shepretendedshehadn’trecognizedAlexandreturnedherattentiontoheroh-so-engagingdate.
“Oh,no.”Dan’sfingersmovedoverthelettersonhisphoneinafrenzy.Hefrowned,hisentire

facefalling.

“Iseverythingokay?”Sheleanedforwardandnearlyreachedoutbutcaughtherself.
Hedidn’tanswerrightaway,justkeptpunchingtheminikeyboard.Thenheseemedtorealize

she’dspokenandhelookedather.“I’msorry,Taylor.I’mnotusuallythisrude.Gotabitofa
situationhere…?.”

Hisphonevibratedagainandhereadthenewmessage.“Well,crap.”Hetappedinanother

response.“Yeah.Taylor,I’mreallysorrybutI’mgoingtohavetocutthisshort.”

“What’swrong,Dan?”Shewasstartingtowonderifsomeonehaddiedorhadsomehorrible

catastrophe.

“Oh.”Hesurprisedherwithagrinandwavedhishand.“Justaguildemergency.Butwe’vegot

totakecareofitrightawayoroneofourmainguysisthreateningtoleavethegroup.”

Herjawmusthavedroppedtothefloor.“A…guild…emergency,”sherepeatedslowly.
“Theseguysaren’tapatientlot.Thisoneiskeytooursuccessandheknowsit.”
“Oh,well,thenheholdsallthecards.”Sarcasmwasn’tnormallysomethingsheusedaloud,but

ithadbeenbuildinginherforthepasthour.Shecouldn’tcarelesswhatDantheGuildManthoughtof
her.

“Exactly.”Hepickeduptheglassofcolaandswiggedathirdofitdown.“Thanksforbeingso

understanding.I’llbeintouch.”

Notifshecouldhelpit.
Beforeshecouldwishhiminsincereluckwithhiscrisis,hewasgone.
Fantastic.
Shecouldfeelthepeopleatthesurroundingtablesglancinginherdirection,asiftheyknewher

datehadwalkedoutonher.Herfaceheatedasshepickedupherpurse,readytomakeaquick
getaway,butthenthestill-hotbasketoffriescaughthereye.

Oh,lord.Hadhepaidforanyofthis?
Humiliationballedinherthroat.Sheloweredherchintoherchest,squeezedhereyesshut

tightlyandwilledhottearsaway.Whenshe’dcomposedherself,sheraisedherheadtotrackdownthe
waitresswho’doriginallyservedthem.

JustintimetowatchAlexstepupnexttothestoolSuperDanhadoccupied.
Someonereallyneededtoinventawaytodisappear.
“Isthisseattaken?”Alexsaidwithasympathetichalfgrin,andshecouldtellhe’dseenwhathad

happened.

Thiswaswheresheshouldhaveacute,sassylinetothrowbackathim,toshowhimitdidn’t

matterthatshe’dbeenwalkedouton.Unfortunately,intypicalTaylorstyle,shehadnocatchylines
anditdidapparentlymatter.Shesimplyshookherheadinresponse.

Hesatonthestoolandindicatedthefries.“CanIstealone?”
“Stealthewholebasket.Mytreat.”Shetriedtosmilenonchalantlybutjustwasn’tfeelingit.
“Didthatbastardreallyleaveyouhere?”Allhintofamusementwasgoneandtheangerinhis

tonesurprisedTaylor.

“Itappearsso.”Taylortookasipofhersodamoreforsomethingtodothanbecauseofthirst.

“Whatareyoudoinghere?”

“It’shappyhour.Greatdrinkspecials.”
“Right.Ian’sdoesn’tseemlikeyourkindofplace.”
Hestuckanothercheese-drenchedfryinhismouth.Whenhe’dfinishedchewing,hesaid,“What

ismykindofplace?”

Somethingwithaless-sedateclientele,shethought.Aroomfullofbeautifulwomendressedto

kill.Evenathappyhour,Ian’scateredtothebusinesscrowd.GuysinDockersandwomenwithnon-
trendyhairstyles.

“Whydon’twejustgetthisoverwith,”shesaid.
“Getwhatoverwith?”
“ThewholeI-told-you-solecture.‘Can’tdateaguyyoumetonline.’Etcetera.”
Hestartedtospeakbutthenstoppedhimself.“Iwasworriedaboutyougettinghurtphysically.It

didn’toccurtometheassholewouldgoAWOLonyou.”

“Ihadn’tanticipatedthat,either.”Sheswishedherstrawaroundinhernearlyemptydrink.“It

wasn’tabadthing,frankly.”

“Hewasn’tworthyourtime,Scarlet.”Hecontinuedtodevourthefries.
“Ifyouonlyknew…”
Thewaitressstoppedbytheirtablethenandaskedifshecouldbringanythingelse.Shedida

doubletake,asifnoticingAlexwasn’tthesameguyasbefore.ThenTaylorwatchedherwhole
mannerchangefrombusinesstoflirty.

“Justthecheck,please,”Taylorsaid,unwillingtowitnessAlexlandingadatewithouteven

trying.

Themanatthenexttablegesturedtothewaitress.“Yougotit,”shesaidtoTaylorandhurried

off.

“Seriously?”Alexsaid,staringatherindisbelief.“Heleftyouwiththetab?”
“Hewascharming.”
“I’vegottoask…whatmadehimretreat?”
“GuessI’mjustascarydate.”Thetruthseemedworsethantakingtheblameherself.
“Sureyouare.Terrifying.Idon’tbuythatforasecond.”
Thewaitressreappeared,movingincloserthannecessarytoAlexandputtingherhandonhis

shoulderasshesettheblackvinylsleeveinfrontofhim.Really?Ittookalotofnervetobeso
forwardwhenhewaswithanotherwoman.Ofcourse,thatwomanwasTaylor,andobviouslyaman
likeAlexwouldn’tbeonadatewithher.

ToobadforthewaitressthatTaylorwastheoneleavingthetip.
Alexsmiledblandlyathisnewfriendandshetoldhimtohaveagreateveningbeforewalking

away.

HetookouthiswalletandwasslidinghiscreditcardintotheplasticpocketbeforeTaylor

realizedit.Shereachedoutandgrabbeditawayfromhim,handinghiscardback.

“Nowayareyoupayingadime,”shesaid.
“Youdon’tdeservetobeleftwithit.”Heheldouthishand.
“I’mhumiliatedenough,”shesaidinalowvoiceasshecountedoutenoughcashtocoverthe

totalplusameaslytip.“Ijustwanttoleave.”

Hebackeddown,asifheunderstood.
“Thankyou.”Shewasn’tsurewhyshesaidit,butthenshe’dneverbeenaccusedofbeing

smooth.

“I’doffertogiveyouaridehomebutIdon’thaveacaryet.”
“Tellmeyoudidn’twalkhere.”
“Ididn’twalkhere.”
Shedidn’tentirelybelievehim.“I’llgiveyouaridehomeunlessyouplantostay.Ineedtoget

outofhere.Immediately.”

“I’mnotstaying.Notmykindofplace,youknow.”Hesmirkedwhenshemethisgaze.
Nooneshouldhaveeyesthatalluring,shedecided.Inthislight,theylookedmorebluethan

gray.Therewasnoquestionmanywomenhadgottenlostinthosedepths.

Taylorwasn’tgoingtobeoneofthem.Sheslippedoffthestoolandheadedthroughthethrongs

towardthedoor,notallowingherselftocheckwhetherAlexfollowed.

Hefellinbesideheroncetheyhittheparkinglot.Theywalkedinuncomfortablesilenceas

TaylorflippedthroughherlistofconversationstartersforDantheDork.Noneofthemwere
adequate.Shecouldn’timagineAlexwantingtodiscusstheNewYorkTimesarticleaboutCloud
computingorthelatestelectronictabletreleases.Andshealreadyknewabouthisfamilyandhis
background.

Theclickofheropen-toedhot-pinkheelsonthepavementseemedmagnifiedbytheirlackof

conversation.Shecompulsivelycountedthelaststepstoreachthedriver ’s-sidedoor.Punchingthe
remotetoopenthelocks,sheclimbedinandstartedtheengine.Alexsqueezedintothepassengerseat
andsliditallthewayback,drawingherattentiontohislong,cargos-cladlegs.Hismuscularthighs
stretchedthematerialtightandshemomentarilyimaginedthoselegswithoutthepants.Shesuspected
theywouldmatchthetautnessofhispicture-perfectabs—oratleasttheywouldhaveatonetime.She
wascuriousabouthowhisinjuryhadaffectedhisleg.

“What’swrong?”heasked,andshewhippedherheadawayandputthecarinReverse.Whatwas

wrongwithher?Shetriedtorationalizewithherself,getherselftobelieveshehadmerelywondered
aboutscarringorotherevidenceofthetraumahe’dbeenthrough.Shewasn’talustypersonand
didn’ttendtowardfantasiesinspiredbysix-packabsorsculptedpecs.Nowthatshethoughtaboutit,
though,she’dbetalargesumthathischestwasphoto-worthy,aswell.

“Yougoingtotellmewhythewonderasswalkedouttonight?”Alexaskedassheturnedoutof

theparkinglotontothestreet.

“No.AreyougoingtotellmehowyougottoIan’s?”
“Viennadroppedmeoffonthewaytosometalkforoneofherclasses.”
“Niceofher.Shegotherprojectinontime,Iassume?”
“Ofcourse.Nothingwillstandinthatgirl’swaywhenitcomestoschoolorgettingajob.She’s

obsessed.”

“Thereareworsethingstoobsessabout.”
“Determinedisabetterword,”hesaid,loweringhiswindowtolettheearly-summerairin.
“Whatkindofajobissheinterestedin?”
“Herconcentrationisinmarketing.Idon’tknowexactlywhatshe’slookingfor,butsheclaims

shewantsmorethanarun-of-the-millentry-levelassistant-peonposition.”

“Doesshehavealotofconnectionsaroundtown?”Taylorasked.Sheturnedtheairconditioner

off.

“Beatsme.Itrytostayoutofherway.”
“Icouldintroducehertosomeofthemarketingpeopleatmycompany.Idon’tknowiftheyhave

anypositionsopenbutitcouldn’thurt.”

“She’deatitup.Don’tgototoomuchtrouble,though.”
“Notrouble.”AnideapoppedintoTaylor ’sheadthatwouldservebothherandViennawell.“I’ll

talktoheraboutitwhenshecomesbytogettheloanerlaptop.”

Theyfellintoanothersilenceasshestoppedataredlight.Shestaredstraightaheadatthebread

truckinfrontofthem,hyperawarethatAlexwaslookingrightather.Heartpounding,shefidgeted
withthesideview-mirrorcontrols,minutelyadjustinghers.Sheloweredherwindowhalfwayand
tappedthesteeringwheel,willingthetrafficsignaltoturngreen.

“Areyougoingtotrytheonlinedealagain?”Alexaskedoutofnowhere.
“Imight.”
Shewouldn’t.Becausehewasright.Danhadbeenabletohidehisweirdnessfromherinspiteof

severallongemails.Whowastosayanotherman’shiddeninterestwasn’tcollectingcorpses?After
tonight’sepicfailure,shewasn’twillingtotakeanotherchanceongoingoutwithsomeoneshehadn’t
previouslymetinperson.Itmightworkformillions,butnotforher.

ButAlexdidn’tneedtoknowthat.
Shecouldn’tbringherselftoadmititoutloud.Toownuptoherpoorjudgment.
“What’sitgoingtotaketoconvinceyou?”Alexasked.“WhatifIintroduceyoutosomemen.

GuysIknow.”

“Firstproblem,whocouldyoupossiblyknowthatwouldbewillingtogooutwithsomeonelike

me?”Shecouldjustimaginewhathisfriendswouldsayifhebroughthernameup.

“What’sthatsupposedtomean?”heasked.
“Nevermind.”
“Scarlet,I’mtryingtohelpyou.Idon’tagreewiththewayyou’regoingaboutthemanhuntthing

soIofferedtointroduceyoutopeopleyoucantrust.That’sall.”

Shefelthimstaringatheragainandtriedtoignoretheneedtosquirm.
“Idon’tgetyou,”Alexsaid.
“Youdon’twanttogetme.”
ShepulledintotheWorthdriveway.
“YourememberedwhereIlive.Impressive.”
“Ihaveanabove-averagebrain,”shemuttered,onlyhalfpayingattentiontothepointless

conversation.

“Someguywillfallinlovewiththat.Justnotsomeoneyou’llfindonthecomputer.”
“Alex,”shesaid,keepinghergazefixedstraightahead.“Couldyou…gonow?Please.”He

continuedtostudyherthenshrugged.

“SeeyouSaturday.”
Saturday.Tostarttheworkonthehouse,sheremindedherself.
Sheshouldcancelthatwholearrangement,oratleastAlex’spartinit.Butnotrightnowbecause

shehadabouttwentysecondsbeforeshebrokedownandcriedhereyesout,andfranklyshewas
maxedoutonhumiliationfortheevening.

CHAPTERSIX

NSPITEOFEVERYMUSCLE

inhisbodyscreamingathimafterfortygruelingminutesofphysical-therapy

hell,theneedtohitsomethingrumbledthroughAlexlikeavolcanogettingreadytoerupt.

ThenewsfromHelenVossmeyer,thehighlyrespectedphysicaltherapist,wasn’trosesand

unicorns.Shehadn’tsatacrossfromhim,afterporingoverhismedicalfilesandputtinghimthrough
aworkout,andsmiledhopefully.Noneofthemeverdid,andheunderstoodthattheycouldn’t
guaranteeanything.Didn’twanttogetsomeone’shopesuptohavethemcrushedyetagain.Hewasn’t
anidiot.Butwasanoptimisttoomuchtoaskfor?

Because,dammit,hewasgraspingontohopethewayanorphanclungtoarattyoldteddybear.
Heenteredtheparkinggarage,walkeduptothepassengersideofMarshall’seggshellAcura

andopenedthedoorbeforenoticinghisbrothersatthere.

“Whatthehell?Moveover,”Alexsaid.
“Youcandrivehome.”
Alexsworeathim.“Yousaidyou’dgivemearide.Thatsuggeststhatyoudrivethecar.”
Heshiftedhisweightoffhisbadlegandleanedheavilyagainstthebackdoor,waitingfor

Marshalltogetoutofhisway.Insteadofclimbingout,hisbrotherliftedhisrighthand,whichhelda
bottleofJackDaniels.Athirdoftheamberliquidwasgone.

“Youboughtwhiskey?”Alexdidn’tknowwhethertobeimpressedwithhisforesightor

disgustedwiththeimplications.

“Liquorstoredowntheblockandacrossthestreet.I’dofferyousomebutyou’redriving.”
Thiswasnottheperpetuallymotivatedbrotherheknew.Nothinglikehim.Marshallwasn’ta

completeabstainer,buthisversionoftyingoneonwashavingasecondglassofwineatabusiness
dinner.Alexhadneverseenhimhitthehardstuff.Maybethatwaswhyhepushedoffthecarand
headedaroundtothedriver ’ssidewithoutanotherword.

Hegotin,foundthekeyshangingfromtheignitionandstartedtheengine.
“Youbetterbeabletoholdyourliquor.Idon’twanttohavetopulloverifyougetsick.”
“Idon’twanttomessupmycarevenmorethanyoudon’twanttostop.”
TheyweresilentuntilAlexhadmergedwiththerelatively-light-for-Chicagomidafternoon

trafficonI-90.

“Sohow’ditgo?”Marshallaskedaftertakinganotherswig.
Alexwasjustaboutpickingupabuzzfromthesmellalone.“Itwent.”Withonehandsteering,he

tappedthebottomofthewheelagitatedly,tryingtoreleasesomeofhispent-upenergy.

“What’dshesay?Wassheencouraging?”
“Somewhat.Moresothanthearmydocthreemonthsago.”
“Shethinksyoucanrecoverfully?”
“Saidit’spossible.I’vemadealotofprogresssinceMarch.”
Marshallnoddedandtookanotherdrink.
“Keepthatoutofsight,wouldyou?”Alexsnapped.“I’mnotlookingtobepulledovertoday,

either.”

Marshallloweredthebottlebelowwindowlevel.“So?”

“Sowhat?”
“Whatdoyouthink?Yougoingtogiveitachance?”
“Ithinktohellwith‘possible.’I’llgetitallback.Ihaveto.”
Silencefilledthecarforseveralminutes.
“I’mtheonewitheverythingatstake,”Alexsaid,maybemoretohimselfthantohisbrother.

“That’swhattheydon’ttakeintoconsiderationwhentheygiveyoutheirofficialopinion.Willpower.
Determination.I’vegottogetback.”

“Whyareyousobentonreturningtothathellhole?”
“Just…needto.”Hishandstartedtappingonthesteeringwheelagain,withouthisconscious

thought.

“Army’snotexactlyrunningafour-starhoteloverthere.You’vegotacompelling,

understandablereasontowalkaway.Whatgives?”

“It’sjust…whatIdo.WhatIknow.”
Marshallstaredathimagain.Alexforcedhishandtostillonthewheel.HehittheCDplayer ’s

powerbuttonandwaspleasantlysurprisedwhenthecacophonyofRobZombieblaredthroughthe
expensivespeakersystematabrain-bustingvolume.Suitedhisstateofmindperfectly.

Aftertippingthebottleupagain,Marshallreachedoverandkilledthemusic.“Youcando

somethingelse.”

“Likewhat?”
“Whateveryouwantto.You’retheonlyonewhoboughtyouractofdriftingarounduselessly

beforeyoujoined.”

“Flying’sinmyblood.”
“Don’thavetobemilitarytofly.”
Itwasallsodamneasy,wasn’tit?“Iknowthat!”Alexexploded.Ifhecouldn’tpunchsomething,

yellingwouldhavetodo.

Hisbrotherdidn’ttakethebait,didn’tgivehimthefighthewasitchingfor.Marshalljustsat

there,infuriatinglycalm,sippinghisJacklikeababywithabottleofmilk.Irritationbuilt,welledup
fromdeepinAlex’sgut.Hecouldfeelhisbloodpressuretickingupward.Heletoutastreamofcrude
obscenitiesandagainMarshalldidn’tevenflinch.

“Ihavetogoback,”Alexfinallysaid.“ForQuinn.”Speakinghisdeadfriend’snamehada

soberingeffect.Tightnessgrippedhischestasoxygenseemedtoleakoutofthecar.

TheycrossedtheWisconsinborderwithoutaword,thesilencetense,expectant.
“Idon’tunderstandthat,”MarshallsaidjustwhenAlexthoughthewasgoingtogetawaywith

theadmission.“What’sgoingbacktohellgottodowithQuinn?”

“Quittingnow…”Alextookhistimetoformananswer,maybebecausehewasfiguringitoutas

hewentalong“…istheeasywayout.IjustgetaguykilledandthengogetajobatRadioShackand
liveeasy?”Afoultastefilledhismouth.“Idon’tthinkso.”

“Soit’slikepenance?”
“HellifIknow.”Hewasn’tinthemoodtobepsychoanalyzedbyhiscerebralbrother.“No.It’s

notlikepenance.It’sgoingbackanddoingwhatIdobecausethat’swhatQuinnwould’vedone.Ifhe
could’ve.Hewasoverthereforareason,moreofareasonthanme.Ijustwantedtofly.Hebelieved
inthecausetohiscore.Ioweittohimtokeepdoingitbecausehecan’t.”

Marshallchewedonthatforagoodfiveminutesbeforespeakingagain.“Youdon’thave

anythingtomakeuptohim,youknow.Theenemyshotyoudown.Youdidthebestyoucouldtoland
safely.”

“Easytosay,”Alexsnapped.“Hardtoprove.Idon’texpectyoutounderstand.”
“Igoddamnunderstandmorethanyouknow.”TherageinMarshall’svoicetookAlexby

surprise,butbeforehecouldquestionhim,hisbrotherpoundedontheCDplayerandRobZombie
serenadedthemwithhisangrygrowlingonceagain.

Suitedhimjustfine.
Itwasn’tuntiltheyhittheoutskirtsofMadisonthatMarshallreachedoverandswattedthemusic

offasviolentlyashe’dturnediton.

“Iscrewedthehellup,”Marshallsaidquietly,butwithsomuchconvictionitdrippedfromthe

words.

Alexknewhisbrotherwasn’ttalkingabouttoday,buthedidn’taskanyquestions.Morethanhalf

thebottleofwhiskeywasgone.MaybethiswasMarshallworkingthroughsomehard-corecrap.

“Ninepeopleareoutofworkbecauseofmymistakes,”Marshallcontinued,self-loathing

evidentinhistone.

“Businessesgounder.I’msureyoutriedtopreventit.”
Marshallscoffed.“TwoyearsagoIhadacompanytryingtogetmetotakethemagazine

electronic.‘Wherethefutureis,’theysaid.DidIlistentothem?”

“I’llguessno.”
“Hell,no.Iwasoneofthosefoolswhosworeprintwouldnevergoaway.Couldn’timagine

newspapersgoingunder.Andhigh-endglossyfull-colormagazinespeoplecouldholdintheir
hands…they’dneverchooseacomputermonitoroverthat.”Helaughedbitterly.“Iknowathingor
twoaboutself-blame.”

“Thatsucks,”Alexsaidsympathetically.
“Screwingthehellupsucks.”
“Agreecompletely.”
“It’shumiliating.”Marshall’svoicehadlostallitsblusterandhewasbarelyaudibleoverthe

soundoftheroad.

Alexnoddedonce,understandingalltoowellwhatMarshallwastalkingabout.
Wasn’titfunnyhowthingschanged,hemused.Afteralifetimeofbeingthefamilymemberwho

neverreallybelonged,Alexnowhadmoreincommonwithhisbrotherthanhecouldeverwant.He
wasn’tgoingtoacknowledgethatoutloud,though.Whatwasthepoint?

Instead,hewasgoingtofunnelalltheself-blame,alltheangerandthedoubtintoPT.He

couldn’tchangewhathadhappenedortakeanythingback,buthewasgoingtosomehowmovepastit
allbyhonoringhisdeadfriend.ThebestwaytodothatwastogetbacktotheMiddleEastand
continuetheworkQuinnhadbelievedsoferventlyin.

CHAPTERSEVEN

AYLORBREATHEDEASIER

thefarthersheandViennagotfromthecrowdnearthelakeshoreparkonFriday

evening.

Anotherworkfunctionsurvived—theannualpicnicandconcert.They’denduredthedinnerpart

andhadescapedasthelocalbandwassettingup.Taylorhaddoneherduty,madeherappearance,and
nowshewasdoneinmorewaysthanone.Readytowiltintoapuddleanddecompressforthenext
hourortwo.

Readybutnotabletoquiteyet.
ThoughViennawasfriendly,Taylorstillfeltabitill-at-easewithher,especiallynowthatitwas

justthetwoofthem.Itwasn’tVienna—that’sjusthowTaylorwas.Onceasocialfailure,alwaysa
socialfailure.

Theyopenedhercar,climbedinandsatwiththedoorsajarforafewsecondstoletthe

remaininglate-afternoonheatescape.Taylorwasjuststartingtobecomeantsy,thinkingsheneededto
saysomething,whenViennabrokethesilence.

“Thatwasexcellent.Thankyousomuchforintroducingmetopracticallyeveryoneinthe

marketingdepartment,Tay.Awesomeconnections.”

“Itwasnoproblem.Ihopeitgoessomewhere.Didtheysaywhethertheyexpecttobehiringin

thefall?”

“Itsoundspromising,actually.They’reworkingoncreatinganewpositionthatwouldbea

perfectfitforme.HughSamuelssaidhe’dcontactmewhenit’sconcrete.”

“That’sencouraging.Heseemedinterestedinyou.”
TheshakeofVienna’sheadwassosubtleTaylorwould’vemissedithadshenotbeenlooking

directlyatthewoman.

“NotthekindofinterestI’mlookingfor,youknow?”
No,Taylordidn’tknow.ThemarketingvicepresidenthadbeenovertlyfriendlytoVienna.Had

maybeheldhergripatouchlongerthannecessarywhenthey’dshakenhands,butyoucouldn’tprove
itbyTaylorwhetherhe’dcrossedaline.She’dneverhadanyonebeanythingbutprofessionalwith
her,soshewouldn’tknow.

TheybothpulledtheirdoorsclosedandTaylorconsideredturningontheradiotoavoidthe

needtotalk.Wouldthatberude?

ShedecidedagainstmusicandsettledfortheairconditioneronHigh.Shebackedoutofthe

parkingspaceandheadedtowardtheirsideoftown.

“What’swrong,Taylor?You’repracticallywhite-knuckled.Somethingbadhappenbackthere

thatImissed?”

Taylorforcedherfingersintoastretchonthewheel,unawareuntilViennahadspokenthatshe’d

beengraspingitsohard.“Workthingslikethataren’tmyfavorite.”

“Youweregreatwhenyoudidalltheintroductions.”
“ThebusinesspartIcanhandle…”Shenervouslypushedthestrandsofhairthathadcomeoutof

herponytailbehindherear.“You’regoodatthesocialthing,”shesaidsimply.

Viennalaughed.“Ifonlyyouknew.IwassonervousItalkedfivehundredmilesanhour.About

nothing!I’mnotusuallysuchamessbutIfeltlikeacollegestudentamonggrown-ups.”

TheadmissionrelaxedTaylorabit.“Ineverwouldhaveguessed.Youseemedatease.Enviably

so.”

“Ihesitatedtoshakeanyone’shandbecauseminewassosweaty.”
“I’dsayyoumadeagoodimpression.”
“Thanks.Youknow,weneedtorecover.Thatwastrying.”
“Recover,”Taylorrepeateddumbly.
“Absolutely.Let’sgohaveadrink.It’sFridaynight,we’vebeenthroughtrauma.”
“Wh-where?”
“Nothingfancy.Theopposite,infact.There’sabartwoblocksfrommyhouse,SaintPatty’s.Do

youknowit?”

“I’mafraidnot.”
“Mostpeopledon’t,whichisthebeautyofit.It’ssmackinthemiddleofabunchofhouses.No

ideahowitgotzoningapproval.It’saboutasbigasthebackseatofyourcar.Low-key.We’llprobably
betheonlytwothere.”

Taylorhadnevergoneouttobarswithgirlfriends.Shedidn’thavegirlfriends,neverhad.Kind

ofafactoflifewhenyouweretwoyearsyoungerthanyourclassmatesand,well,ageek.

Sheapparentlyhesitatedtoolong.
“Patty’safamilyfriend.Shemakesawickedwhitechocolatemartini.”
“I’membarrassedtoadmitI’veneverhadamartini.”
“Doyoudrink?”Viennaaskedinarush.
“Some.Usuallywine.MostlybecauseIdon’tcareforbeerandIdon’tknowwhatelsetodrink.”
“YouhavetotryPatty’smartini.Shedoesn’tadvertiseit,onlymakesitforsomeonewhoknows

toask.It’snotreallyamartinikindofplace.”

Taylordidn’texactlyknowwhatamartinikindofplacewas,butastheywalkedtowardthefront

ofSaintPatty’sfiveminuteslater,shecouldseeclearlythatthiswasnottheclassiestwateringholein
town.Likelynotinthetopfivehundred.

“Toldyouit’sadive,”Viennasaid,holdingthericketyscreendooropenforher.“Don’tworry,

it’ssafe.”

Theexteriorwaswhiteandindesperateneedofacoatofpaint.Centeredoneithersideofthe

entrancewasasmallwindowwithanempty,weatheredflowerboxhanginghaphazardlybeneathit.
Theonetotheleftwasmoreverticalthanhorizontal.Theconcretewalkwascrumbledinplaces,and
Taylorwasthankfulshe’dworntwo-inchfloralwedgestothepicnic.Shewasn’tsureshecould
navigateitinheels.

Thiswasn’taplacewhereheelswerecommonplace,shesurmisedastheywentinside.

Motorcycleboots,workboots,maybe.

Ashabbybarwiththreesixties-eralightfixturesstretchedalongthenearwall,perpendicularto

thefrontdoor.Smalltableswerescatteredthroughouttheroom—sixofthem,Taylorcounted.
Nothingmatched,notevenfourchairsatasingletableandTayloritchedtorearrangethemtoachieve
atleastsomedegreeofsymmetry.

“Tableorbar?”Viennaasked.
“Youchoose.”Taylorfeltthetwomenatthefartablewatchingthemandlongedforherown

kitchenandafresh-tossedgreensalad.

Viennatookoneofthestoolswithabackmidwaydownthebar.Tayloruneasilysattoherright

onasimpleroundstoolwithnoback.

“It’sthebabyWorth,”awoman’svoicecalledout.Therewasaservicewindowinthewall

behindthebar,andthoughnoonewasvisible,that’swherethesoundcamefrom.

“Hey,Patty,”Viennahollered.
Thewomanappearedinthedoorwayatthefarendofthebar,wipingherhandsonapowder-

bluetowel.Shewasinherlatefifties,Taylorguessed,withshort,russethair,roundcheeksanda
genuinesmile.Wide-shoulderedandample-chested,shecarriedextrapoundsaroundhermiddle.Her
pinkT-shirtdeclared,I’mnotgoodatempathy,willyousettleforsarcasm?

“Howyoudoing,honey?”ShecamearoundontheirsideofthebarandhuggedVienna.
“Fantastic.”ViennaswiveledtoincludeTaylor.“ThisismyfriendTaylorMcCabe.Taylor,Patty

Wyman.”

Taylor ’sstooldidn’ttwistsosherotatedpartwayaround,extendingherhandpolitelyandsaying

hello.Pattythrewheroffbyignoringthehandandpullingherintoaquickhug.“Welcome,Taylor.
Haveyougirlseatenyet?”

Viennanodded.“We’reherefordessert,ifyouknowwhatImean.”
AconspiratorialsmilespreadacrossPatty’sface.“Whitechocolateforeachofyou?”
“Youin?”ViennaaskedTaylor.
“Ihavemycar—”
“We’llmakesureyougethomesafely,sweetie,”Pattysaid,somehowbrashandwarmatthe

sametime.“Idon’tletanyonedriveouttaherewhocan’t.”

Taylorlikedthiswoman.ShewaswelcomingandmotherlyandyetTaylorsuspectedshecould

andwouldknockskullstogetherwhennecessary.“SaintPatty’swhitechocolatemartinisoundslike
somethingIhavetotryatleastonce.”

Pattyslappedthecounterlightly.“Ontheirway.Yougirlssittight.”
“Howyoudoing,Vee?”oneoftheguysatthetablecalledcasually.
Viennasmiledandwavedathim.
“Howoftendoyoucomehere?”Taylorasked,surprisedAlex’ssisterknewtheman,whowore

somekindofuniform.

“Iworkedherelastsummer.Hadtoquitwhenschoolgottoointense.Imissthetips.”
“You’llgetajobeasily,”Taylorsaid,“withmuchnicerpaychecks.”
“Hopeyou’reright.”
Pattycameoutcarryingthreefullmartiniglassesandsetthemonthecounterinfrontofthem.“I

onlyallowmyselfoneofthesebabiesaday.”ShewinkedatTaylor.“Keepsthedoctoraway.”

ViennaheldherglassuptoTaylor.“Tosurvivingcorporatepicnics.”
“I’lldrinktothat.”
“Youdidn’ttellmethat,”Pattysaid.“SoundslikeIshould’vemadethesedoubles.”Sheheldher

glassupaswellandallthreeclinked.

Taylortookatentativesipandraisedherbrowsinsurprise.“Thattastesamazing.Likewhite

chocolatechips.Areyousurethere’salcoholinthere?”

Pattychuckledandnodded.“Andatwo-drinklimitonthosefornewbies.”
“Theykindofsneakuponyou,”Viennaconfirmed.
Halfadrinklater,Taylorfeltwarmandmorerelaxedthanshe’dbeeninalongtime.
AndthenitallblewtopiecesasthedooropenedandViennalookedpasther.
“DearestAlexander,”shesaid,andTaylorstiffened.
Sureenough,AlextookthestoolonTaylor ’sright.
“How’sourfavoritehigh-flyertoday?”Pattyasked.
“Notflyingtoohigh.Physicaltherapy’skickingmyass.”
Taylorangledtowardhimingreeting.“Alexander,huh?”Itdidn’tfithim.
“OnlyinVee’smind.Sheknowsitannoysme.”
“Whichisahobbyofmine,”Viennasaid.

PattytookAlex’sorderforfriedcheesecurds,aburgerandabeer.Shedrewthebeerfromthe

tapandsliditthreefeetdownthecountertohim,thendisappearedagain.

“Whatareyoutwodoingtogether?”Alexasked,notbotheringtohidehisbafflement.
ThatwasallittookforTaylor ’sinsecuritytorageonceagain.She,too,wonderedatVienna’s

motivesforhangingoutwithher.“Ithinkyoursister ’stryingtothankmeforsubjectinghertomy
companypicnictomeetmarketingtypes.”

“Nah,wejustbothneededgirltime.”
“Soyoumetmarketingtypes?Didyoumeetany‘list’types?”Heleanedhiselbowsonthebar

andstaredpointedlyatTaylor.

Shestudiedthecounterinfrontofher,thankfulthelightinginherewastoopoorforanyoneto

tellwhethersheblushed.SheprayedViennahadmissedwhathe’dsaidorwouldignoreit.

“What’salisttype?”Viennaaskedaftersippingherdrink.
Alex’sgazerestedonTaylor—thetopofherhead,tobeprecise,becauseshecouldn’tbring

herselftolookathim.Couldn’tthinkofwhattosay.

“Youdidn’ttellher?”heaskedgently.“Ifiguredthatwasfodderforgirltalk.
“Youhavetotellmenow,”Viennasaid.“What’salisttype?”
BeforeAlexcouldtwistitaroundorsaysomethingelsethatembarrassedher,Taylorjumped

intotheexplanation.“ImadealistofthetraitsIwantinanymanIgooutwith.”

Viennanoddedslowly.“Icangetbehindthat.Kindoftheideal-manthing.”
“Exactly.Ifaguydoesn’tmeetoneofmyrequirements,whyshouldIgooutwithhim?”
“Amen,sister.Sowhat’sonthelist?Whatarewelookingfor?”
Taylorpulledherphoneoutofherpurseandopenedthelist.Shecouldprobablyreciteitfrom

memorybutnotwithAlexsittingsocloseandjudgingher.

PattycameoutandsetaplasticbasketofsteamingbarfoodinfrontofAlex.
“Thanks,Patty,”hesaid.Hepickeditandhisbeerupandstood,hoveringbehindTaylorandhis

sister.“Yougirlsmakeitsoundlikeyou’relookingforastudatanauctionortheperfectjob
applicant.”

“Taylordefinitelyneedsastud,”Viennasaidwithawickedlaugh.
Taylorsmiled,Vienna’senthusiasmbolsteringherconfidence.“Anditisajobpositionwhen

yougetrightdowntoit.”

Heshookhisheadgravely.“Enjoyyourgirltime.Ifthebeergogglesmakeanappearance,refer

tothealmightylist.”

CHAPTEREIGHT

“I

COULD’VEGOTTENHOME

bymyself,”Taylorinsistedassheclimbedoutthepassengersideofherowncar.

Herboldness,theveryfactshe’dfoundthecouragetoarguewithhim,provedtoAlexhe’dbeenright
toinsistondrivingher.

“Everbeendrunkbefore?”heaskedastheyemergedfromhergarage.
“Notreally.I’mnotdrunknow.”
“Haveyouseenthepublicserviceannouncementsthatexplainyourbloodalcohollevelcanbe

abovethelegallimitevenwhenyoudon’tfeelloopy?”

Shewentupthetwostepstothedeckandopenedherscreendoor.
“Youhadhowmanymartinis?”hecontinued,holdingthescreenwhilesheduginherpursefor

herkeys.

“Two.”
“Andyouweighabouteighty-sevenpounds.”
Taylorlaughedfreely,nohesitationorinhibition.Alexwasn’tsurehe’dheardthatfromher

before.

“Themoreyouarguewithme,themoreyouproveI’mright,Scarlet,”hesaidwhenshewas

abouttospeak.

Stillgrinning,sheshookherhead,thenfinallylocatedherkeys.Severalsecondspassedandthey

stoodthere,Alexbehindher,holdingthedoor.

“Youpassoutalready?”Helookedoverhershoulderandwatchedherrepeatedattemptstoget

thekeyinthehole.

“It’sdark,”shesaid,determined.Stubborn.“Didn’tplanongoingoutsoIdidn’tturnonmy

light.”

“SoIsee.”Hegentlytookthekeysfromherandunlockedthedoor.
“Hey!”Taylorburstintothekitchenaheadofhim.“I’mnotdrunk.Tipsy,maybe,butIcoulddo

constantcoefficientlineardifferentialequationsrightnowifIwanted.”

“Youcoulddodifferentialequationsinyoursleep.”
Shestaredupathimandopenedhermouthasifshewasabouttoargue.Thenshelaughed.“You

gotmethere.NowifIcanjustfindaguywhoisn’tscaredbythat.Thatismyidealdate.”

“Betteraddthattoyourlist.”
Thatdamnablelist.
Sheactuallyswattedhimonthearm.Alexcaughtherhandbrieflybeforeeasingastepback.He

likedthisrelaxedsideofher.

“Whyareyouhere?”sheasked,tiltingherheadslightlyasshepeeredathim.
“Originallyitwastobeagentleman,butnowthatI’mhere,I’mgoingtomeasureforthekitchen

trim.We’restillonforthehardwarestoretomorrowmorning,right?”

“Brightandearly,likeyousaid.”
“Ifyou’reupforit.”
“Thesecret,”shesaidasshetookaglassdownfromthecabinet,“ishydratingtogetthepoison

outbeforeyougotobed.”Shefilledtheglasswithwaterandgulpeditdown.

“Excellentadvicefromanobviousauthorityonthesubject.”
“It’sscience.”Shefilledtheglassagain.“Icandoscience.”Oncemore,shechuggedallthe

water.“Theotherthingistostandunderastreamofhotwatertorinseitalloff.”

“Justwashoffyourdrunk,huh?”Hecouldnolongerhideagrin.
“Notdrunk.Goingtotakemyshowerandgotobed.Justlockthedoorwhenyouleave.Good

night.”

Eithershewasmoreintoxicatedthansheseemed—shedidn’tslurherwordsorhavetrouble

walking—orshetrustedhim.Whethersheshouldornot.

AlexopenedtheonedrawerintheMcCabekitchenthathadalwaysbeenlessthanmilitarilyneat,

theonethatheldanassortmentofrandom,non-kitchenitems,likeatapemeasure.Hesearchedfora
pieceofpapersohecouldwritethemeasurementsdown.Typically,Taylorhadn’tleftmuchlying
around.He’dgrownusedtoSpartansurroundingsoverseas,buttherewasadifferencebetweena
neatnessinspiredbylackofbelongingsandspaceandthatdictatedbyacompulsiontokeepallthings
intheirplaces.ThatwasTaylor,hethought,chucklingtohimself.

Therewasnothingtowriteoninthekitchen,whichsurprisedhimuntilherememberedshe

peckedeverythingintothatphoneofhers.Surelyinheroffice…Hewalkedintothelivingroomand
spotted,inthedimwashoflightfromthekitchen,anotebookononeoftheendtables.Hegrabbedit
andreturnedtothekitchen.

Astheshowerturnedon,Alexfoughttoblockoutthesound.Hedidn’twanttoconsiderwhatshe

wasdoingontheothersideofthewall.Strippingherconservativeclothesoffand…

Longingforhisearbuds,hewhistled,loudlyandtunelessly,ashemeasuredthefirststretchof

wallthatrequirednewtrim.

Theshowerstopped,snappinghisattentionbacktothetaskathand.Heturnedtothefirstblank

pageandjotteddownthemeasurement.Thekitchenwassmallanditdidn’ttakehimlongtofinish.He
addedallthenumberstogetanideaofhowmuchtrimthey’dneedtobuyinthemorning.

HetooktheprojectlistTaylorhadwrittenforhimoutofhiswalletandskimmedittomakesure

therewasn’tanyotherinformationheneededtocollect.Replacekitchenlightfixtures,repairdeck,
replacetriminkitchen,newshowerandcountertopinbathroom,closetdoors,basementceiling,paint
interior…

AlexwasinthelivingroomjottingdownestimatesofhowmuchpainttheyneededwhenTaylor

emergedfromthesteamybathroomwearinglightgreenpajamas.Acamisoleandshorts.He
swallowedhardandraisedhiseyestoherface.Eventually.

Shestartledwhenshesawhimandcrossedherarmsoverherchest.“Ithoughtyouwere

leaving.”

Heruneasinesswasbackbuthebarelynoticed.Henoticedallthewrongstuffinstead—wet

strandsofherauburnhaircurlingaroundherface,nearlyperfectcirclesofpinkonhercheeksfrom
thehotwater,themoistshineofherlips…

“Iam.AssoonasIfigureouthowmuchpaintweneed.Everyroom,correct?”
Shenodded.“Ihadn’tthoughtaboutcolorsyet…?.”
“Ifyou’restillthinkingaboutselling,youneedtokeepitneutral.”
“You’reright.”Shestudiedthewallsthoughtfully.“Doyouknowalotaboutsellingahouse?”
“Mymom’saddictedtothehomechannel.Igotsuckedintheothernight.”
“Aneutralcreamcolorwouldlooknice,don’tyouthink?”Shestoodnexttohimnow,surveying

theroom,squintingslightlyassheimaginedsomethingotherthanthelightgreencurrentlyonthe
walls.

“Cream,white,whatever.”
Ashebreathed,hecaughtherscent.Applesandsugar.Sweet,pure.Morealluringthanhewould

haveguessed.Hewatchedher,intrigued.Shewassoconsumedbyherplansforthewallsthathecould
justaboutseethegearsinherheadturning.He’dalwaysadmiredherintelligence.Neverbeen
intimidatedbyit,evenwhenshe’dpassedhimandQuinninmathandbeendoingscienceprojectsthat
wereoverhishead.

Notscaredoffbyherbrain.
Gofigure.ThatwasthesinglequalificationonherlistthatAlexmet,andshehadn’teven

botheredtowriteitdown.

Hereyesshottohisasifhe’dsaidthewordsoutloud,andtheirgazesheld.Goldfleckssparkled

intheemeraldassecondstickedbywithneitherofthemmoving.

Alexclosedthespacebetweenthemwithasinglestep,payingnoheedtothevoiceinthefar

cornerofhismindthatwasscreamingtoslamonthebrakes.

Faintfrecklesdustedskinsocreamyhelongedtorunhisfingersoverit.Herlipswerepartway

open,andthesubtlesexinessofthatcontradictedthesimplepuritythatwasTaylor.Hefollowedthe
curveofhermouthwithhiseyes,entrancedbythedipatthetop,thenaturalcoral-pinktint,thehintof
moisture…?.

Heleaneddownandbrushedhislipstohers,unabletoresisttheurgetotouchthem,tosample

thesoftwarmth.Ajoltwentthroughhim,jump-startedhispulseatthewhisperofcontact.Hepulled
backjustenoughtogaugethelookinhereyes,expectingtoseeconfusionorblamebutfinding…
hunger.Needtangledwithahintofvulnerability.Thecombinationdidhimin.

Hecuppedthebackofherneckandpressedtheirlipstogether,breathingherin.Hetrailedhis

handsdownhersides,tantalizedbythecurveshe’dpreviouslyonlyguessedwerehidingbeneathher
modestclothes.Herestedhishandsathertinywaistandcaressedherribswithhisthumbs.

Herhandwassuddenlyonhischest,grippinghisshirt,drawinghimnearer.Shewoundboth

handsaroundhisneck,intohishair.

Urgencypoundedthroughhimtotasteher,knowher.Hepartedherlipswithhistongueand

Taylorwastherewithhim,responding,hertonguetanglingwithhis,twistinghimintoablindsiding
lust.

HeneverwouldhavesuspectedTaylorhadthiskindofresponseinher.Shy,unassumingTaylor.

Hisbestfriend’slittlesister.

Alexabruptlybroketheircontactandmovedbackastep,reeling.Heclosedhiseyesasregret

floodedhim.HewasdamnluckyQuinnwasn’taround.

Whatthelivinghellhadhedone?He’dmadeprotectingTaylorfromthebadguyshisjob,ina

sense…andhewastheonewho’dmovedinonher.

Thatdidn’tflywithhim.Atall.
Shestaredathimhard,searchingforanexplanation.
“That…”Hewasstraddlingathinlinehereandstruggledfortherightwords.
“What?”Heatstillemanatedfromhereyes.
“That…compatibility.”Herefusedtousethewordchemistry.Thattookthingsdownaroadhe

wasn’tabletotravel.Hepacedawayfromher.“Imeetveryfew,ifany,ofthecriteriaonyourlist.”

Shefrowned,lostinthought.“You’reintelligent…”
“NotinaTaylorMcCabeway.”
“Youseemtobedriventogetbacktothearmy.”
“Scarlet.You’remissingthepoint.”
Hesawtheexactmomenthehurther—hereyesflutteredshutforafractionofasecondandher

shouldersdroppedalmostimperceptibly.Thatwasn’thisintent,dammit.

“Whydon’tyouenlightenme?”Hervoicewassoftbuttightlycontrolled.
“AllI’mtryingtosayisthatyourlistisnottheanswertofindingwhatyou’relookingfor.

You’retryingtomakeitblackandwhitebutrelationshipsare…gray.There’salotoffactorsbesides
traitsonachecklist.Webothknowtherecan’tbeanythingbetweenyouandmebut…”Howmuch
morecouldhefumbleoverthis?“Mypointisthatyoumightbeattractedtosomeonewhodoesn’t
meetyourqualifications,andthat’sokay.”

Shenoddedonce.Dismissedwhathesaid.Didn’tevenconsiderit.
Hell.He’dscreweduptwentytimesovertonight.Instincthadhimwantingtotouchher,tomake

herunderstand,buthe’dalreadydonetoomuchtouching.“I’msorry,Taylor.I’llletyougetsome
sleep.”

Hereyeshaddoneaone-eightyfromheattohurt,andthattoldhimmorethananythingwhyhe

wasn’ttherightmanforher.

“That’s…forthebest.”Shewalkedtothedoorandopenedit,nohesitationwhatsoever.
ThatwasTaylor…alwaysthesmartestgirlintheroom.

OTTEARSBURNED

AYLOR’S

eyesassoonassheclosedthedoorbehindAlex.

Wasn’tshejustthedumbestgirlalive?Maybepatheticwasamoreappropriateword,but

nuancesofvocabularyfailedherrightnow.

Shesaggedagainstthedoor,eyesclosed,thensliddownituntilshelandedhardonthewood

floor.

WhywouldamanlikeAlexWorth,withallhismusclesandbraveryand,lord,thoseeyes,ever

kissher?Moreimportant,whywouldsheeverfallforitandletherselfbekissedbyhim?

Andthentogetintoitlikeshehad?Thefirstinstantofcontacthadsparkedthroughher,turned

herintoaquiverymassofneediness.Insteadofactingshockedandbackingawayassheshouldhave,
she’dletherselfleanintohim.Kisshimback.Beaffectedbyhistouchlike…

Shehitthedoorwiththebackofherhead,forciblyandintentionally.ThreeminutesofAlex’s

lipsandhandsonherhadaffectedherthewaynoothermaneverhad.

She’dbeenwithmenbefore—okay,oneman,really,butshe’dbeenkissedbyseveral—and

she’dnevergonefromzerotoallovertheminthree-point-fiveseconds.

Andwithamanwhojustwantedtoproveapointtonaive“Scarlet,”tosavehisarmybuddy’s

littlesisterfromherinexperienced,misledself.

Shecouldn’tevenblameitonalcohol.Theslighttipsinessthathadnecessitatedtheridehome

hadbeenwashedawaycompletelybythetimeshe’demergedfromtheshower.She’dbeentiredbut
clearheadedasthey’ddiscussedpaintcolors.

Nowitwasobviousthatteachingheralessonaboutthefoolishnessofherchecklisthadbeenhis

reasonforstickingaroundandtakingmeasurements.Sheshould’veguessedsomethingwasupwhen
hedidn’timmediatelyleaveaftergettingherandhercarsafelyhome.

LorienandElanorstruttedintothelivingroom.
“Beasts,IsupposeyouthinkyouneedfoodeventhoughI’mdyingaslowdeathofhumiliation,

huh?”Thesealpointsat,pear-shaped,inthedoorwaytothekitchenwhileLorienclimbedupon
Taylor ’slap,fullofself-entitlement.Shescratchedbehindthecat’searsandstood,pickingherupand
carryinghertothekitchen.“Everyoneshouldbesopampered.”Bothfelineswovearoundherlegsas
sheopenedacanofsmellyseafooddelightanddivideditbetweentwobowls.

Assheabsentlysetthebowlsdown,shecouldseeAlexinhermind,thewayhe’dbeenlookingat

herjustbeforehekissedher.She’dthoughtshe’ddiscernedsomethinginhiseyes,somekindof
emotion.Hunger.Obviouslyshe’dthoughtwrong.

Thewholedebacleprovedtwothings.One,shehadanoveractiveimagination.Two,shewas

wayoutofherelementwithsomeonelikeAlexWorth.He’dbeensetonprovingherlistwas
“wrong,”buthe’ddonetheopposite.Shewasconvincednowmorethaneverthatshe’dbemore
comfortableandhaveamoresuccessfulrelationshipwithamanwhometeachofhercarefully
thought-outqualifications.

CHAPTERNINE

LEXHATEDHIMSELF

morethanusualwhenhewokeupthenextmorning.

Thefirstthinghediscerned,beforeheevencrackedhiseyesopen,wasthepaininhislower

bodyfromyesterday’sPTsession.WhichveeredhisthoughtsdirectlytoQuinn,whowasneverfar
fromhisconsciousnessanyway.Andthat…Hebitoutacrudecurse.

Taylor.
Herolledontohisstomachandpoundedthepillow.Hisheadthrobbedandalltheshitthat’d

gonedownlastnightfilteredthroughhisbrainasifhe’dbeendrunkandonlyhalf-conscious.Talk
aboutirony.Onlythinghe’ddrunkwastheonebeerwithhisdinner.He’dmadeapointofstaying
sober,maybeasanattempttocounteractalltheliquorMarshallwassuckingdownlately.Seemedlike
oneoftheWorthsiblingsoughttobeabletowalkastraightline.Assoonashe’dfinishedhisburger
atPatty’s,he’dgonehome.WastedseveralhoursinfrontoftheidiotboxuntilViennahadcalledand
askedhimtodriveTaylortoherhouse.

Heshouldneverhavewalkedthroughherfrontdoorlastnight.
Alexdraggedhiswristnearhisfacetocheckhiswatch.Nice.Who’dbesurprisedthathe’d

oversleptandwastwohourslateforthehardware-storedatewithTaylor?Hegroaned.Datewas
entirelythewrongword.

Hekickedthesheetoffasheturnedovertheotherway,diggingdeep,tryingtofindareasonto

gethisassoutofthesack.ForTaylor?Yeah,thatwasaplan.Becausehe’ddonesomuchforTaylor
already.

He’dkissedherwhenhehadnorighteventothinkaboutkissingher.Worse,he’dlikedit.
Hecouldn’thaveherthinkingtherewasanythingbetweenthem,oreventhepotentialfor

anything,becausetherewasn’t.Shewasn’tthekindofgirlwhoplayedaround.Alexwasn’ttheguy
forher,couldneverliveuptowhatshedeserved.Awell-educated,suit-wearingcomputergeekor
financegeekorwhatever,thatwasthetypeTaylorneeded,eveniftheguyonlymethalfthetraitson
herlist.Aquarter.Tohellwiththelist—itwasirrelevant.Taylordeservedtheverybest,andAlexwas
ajackassonagoodday.

Embracingthatundeniabletruth,heturnedoverandwentbacktosleep.

AYLOREVERNEEDED

anewcareer,carpentryofferedsomesurprisinglyattractivepossibilities,evenif

shedidn’tparticularlyhaveagiftforit.

Thankstothedo-it-yourselfbookthemanatthehardwarestorehadrecommended,shewas

gettingthehangofbeatingthelifeoutofthenailsasshedrovethemthroughthekitchentrim.Andif
shehappenedtopictureAlex’sheadasshepounded,whocouldblameher?

Asthehammerconnectedwithherthumb,sheyelledandgrowledherfrustrationloudly.Darn

thatmanforgettinginherthoughtsandmakingherloseherconcentration.

Someoneknockedatthefrontdoor.Shetossedthestupidhammerdownandgotup,suckingon

herthumbasifthatwouldtakeawaythepain.

Shecheckedoutthepeepholebeforeopeningandgrowledagain,morequietlythistime.

WhydidherheartspeedupatthesightofAlexstandingonherfrontporch?Wasitrage-

induced?Lingeringembarrassment?Theusualnerveshebroughtout?

Yeah,sure.Lyingtoherselfwasfineaslongas,inthebackofhermind,sheknewshewaslying.

Right?

Heknockedagain,harder,andshejumped.Lord,whynow,whenhe’dblownheroffallday?

Shelookedtired,dirtyandgenerallyawful.Atnineo’clockthismorningwhenhewassupposedto
pickherup,she’datleastsmelledclean.She’devenconsideredputtingonsomelipglossand
mascarabutthatideahadfizzledwhenshediscoveredherrarelyusedmascarawasdriedandcrusty.

“Iknowyou’reinthere,Taylor.Iheardyouyellingyourheadoff.”
Sheopenedthedoor.“Ididnotyellmyheadoff.”
“Heardyouclearouthere.”
“You’reelevenhoursandseventeenminuteslate.”
Heshovedhishandinthepocketofhiscargosandglancedtowardthedrivewayatnothing.Dusk

wasfalling,spillingstreaksofpinkandlavenderacrossthesky.“MayIcomein?”

Shepressedherlipstogether,moisteningthem.Whenhisgazeloweredtothem,shetookaquick

stepbackandlethiminside.Theystoodintheentry,twofeetandaheavysilencebetweenthem.

Onewouldthinkshe’dmadepeacewithawkwardmomentsaftertwenty-sixyears,butno.She

pushedloosestrandsofherhairbehindherearandfumbledforwhattosay.“Youdon’tneedtohelp
mewiththehouse,”waswhatfinallycameout.

“IthinkIhavesomeonetobuyQuinn’sWinchester.”
“Okay.”Thatwasthelasttopicshe’dexpected.“Youknowwhereitis.”
“That’snotwhyI’mhere.”
“Oh.Thenwhy?”Shewascurtwithhimanditfeltgood,butnotasgoodasthehammeraction.
Hecranedhisnecktoseeintothekitchen.She’dpushedthetabletothemiddleoftheroomto

accessthewalls.“Whatareyoudoinginthere?”Hestalkedpastherwithpurpose,asifheneededto
savetheday.

“I’mgettingmyhousereadytoputonthemarket.”
“You’redoingthetrim?Byyourself?”
“Myselfwastheonlyonearoundwhentheworkneededtobedone,”shesaidpointedly.
Theonlysignheevenrememberedhewassupposedtohavehelpedherthismorningwasthe

flickerofhislidsdownward.Ormaybehewasjustblinking.

“Whatdoyouknowaboutreplacingtrim?”
“Beforetoday,hardlyanything.”Shetookthehard-coverbookfromthetableandwaveditinthe

air.“But,amazingly,whenthere’ssomethingagirlneedstolearn,there’salwaysabookouttherethat
willteachher.”

“Howareyoucuttingthepieces?”
Shewasn’tyet.She’dputthatpartoffforaslongaspossiblewhilesheremovedtheoldtrim,

thenstartedwithalongpiecethatdidn’tneedtobecut.“Withasaw.”

“Whatkindofsaw?”
“Therightkind.Irentedone.”
Helookedaroundforit,butitwasoutinthegarage.
“Itwouldn’tbeverybrighttobringitinhere,wouldit?”shesaidsmugly.“It’sbig,messy.I

don’twantsawdustinmyorangejuice.”

“Garage?”
Shenoddedandheheadedoutthebackdoorbeforeshecouldsayanything.Baffled,she

followedhim.

Thelightinthegaragewason,thedoorclosed.Alexopenedthesmallsidedoorandwentin.

She’dlefthercarinthedrivewayandplacedthesaw,thetrimandeverythingelseshe’dboughtthis
morningwherehercarwasusuallyparked.

“Youleftthegarageunlockedwithallthisstuffinhere?Whatisitworth,acoupleofgrand?”
“Incaseyouhadn’tnoticed,Iwasstillworking.I’lllockupwhenI’mdoneforthenight.”
“I’lldothecutting.”
Shewasdyingtohavesomeone,anyonebuther,workthesaw.Thatsharpbladeterrifiedher.But

herstubbornstreakwasevenstrongerthanherfear.“I’vegotitcovered.”

Heturnedandstaredather,disbelievingatfirst.Thenhisshouldersdroppedanotch.“You’re

reallypissed.”

“No.”Okay,maybe.
“Youhaveeveryright.”
“Youthink?”Apparentlyshewaslooseningupwithhimenoughtosayexactlywhatpoppedinto

herhead.Thatwasprogress,inatwistedway.

“Scarlet…”Heturnedaway,rubbedhispalmstogether.
Sheleanedagainstthewoodstudoftheunfinishedwall,studyinghim.Somethingwasup.He

was…nervous?Aroundher?Maybejustcontrite.Asheshouldbe.

Alexturnedaround,lookingatthecrackedconcretefloor.“I’msorry.”
“Thiswasneveragoodidea.You’retryingtorecover,getyourleghealed.ImeantitwhenIsaid

Icoulddothis—”

“That’snotwhatI’mtalkingabout.”Hewalkedoverandstoodinfrontofher.Crossedhisarms

overhischest.Madeeyecontact,andshefelttheimpactofthatgazedowntohertoes.“I’msorryI
kissedyou.”

Hemightaswellhavepunchedherinthegut.Shetookinashakybreath.“That’snotexactly

whatagirlwantstohear…”

“That’snotwhatImean.Don’ttwistitaround.”
“‘SorryIkissedyou’isprettystraightforward.”
Hereachedout,squeezedhershoulder.Lethishandlingeronherupperarmforasecondbefore

droppingit.“Itcan’thappenagain.I’m…look,IknowQuinn’snothere.God,doIknowthat.Every
secondofeveryday,Ihavetolivewiththat…”

Hebrokeoffandhisthroatmovedasheswallowed.
“It’saguything,”hecontinued.“Becauseofmehe’snotaroundtodowhatbigbrothersdo.

Carrytheheavystuff,workthesaw,scareoffassholeswhocouldhurtyou.LastthingIwanttodois
betheasshole.”

“Whatdoyoumean,Alex…”shebarelyheardthelastpartofwhathesaid“…it’sbecauseof

you?”

Heshookhisheadandlookedaway.“Notgoingthere.”Beforeshecouldargue,hestormedout

thesidedoor.

HewasblaminghimselfforQuinn’sdeath?
Shestoodamoment,stunned,tryingtowrapherbrainaroundthat,thenrushedoutafterhim.He

satonthedecksteps,inthesamespotshe’dfoundhimwhenhe’dfirstcomebacktotown.Thistime,
insteadoflookingsmug,heseemeddefeated,hisshoulderssaggingwiththeweightofsomuch
sadness.

Hiswidesoldierbodytookupmostofthesteps.
“Moveover,”shesaid,forgettingtheinsecuritythatnormallyplaguedheraroundhim.
Equallyshockingwasthathedidwhatshesaidandmaderoomforher.Taylorsatnexttohim,

theirthighstouching.

“Quinndiedincombat,Alex.”Shespokequietly,asifsayingittooloudlywouldmakeitmore

painful.Insteadoffocusingonherownheartbreak,sheneededtogetthispointacrosstoAlex,who’d
gonecompletelysilent.“Theothersidetriedtoblowupyourhelicopter.Youcan’treallythinkitwas
somehowyourfault.”

“Youdon’tknowthefirstthingaboutit.”
Shegrittedherteethandusedhershortthumbnailtoscrapeawaydirtthathadcakedaroundthe

baseoftherailingsupport.Shedidn’tremembereverfeelingtheurgetopunchaman,didn’treally
knowhowtothrowapunchwhenyougotdowntoit,butsheclenchedherleftfistagainstthe
temptationnow.Withherright,shecontinuedtoassaultthedrieddirtonthestep.“Whydon’tyoutell
meaboutit,then?”shesaidtightly.“I’dliketounderstand.”

Thelaststreaksoflighthaddisappeared,thesilhouetteoftheleavesagainsttheskybarely

visible.Cicadasfilledtheduskwithsoothingmusicthatcontrastedwiththestormofemotion
containedintheirlittlecorneroftheuniverse.Acrickethidsomewherenearbyandpipedoutasolo.

Alexsupportedhiselbowsonhiskneesandhadhishandssteepledinfrontofhisface.
“Youcanbethestrong,silent,manlymananothertime,”Taylorsaid,abandoningherdirt-

removalprojectandsearchingforawaytomakethisstubbornmantalk.“Hewasmybrother.Ifit’s
reallyyourfault,Ihavearighttoknow.”

Shedidn’tbelievehewastoblameforasecond,buthowelsecouldshegetthroughtohim?
Hestretchedhisleftlegoutandmassagedhisthigh,seeminglywithoutnoticinghewasdoingit.

“MybrainknowsI’mnottoblame,”hefinallysaid.“I’vebeenovertheaccidentathousandtimes.
Thearmy’sbeenoverit.IfI’ddonesomethingundeniably‘wrong,’youbetterbelievethey’dmake
meawareofthat.”

“Andyoudidn’t.Youmanagedtobringthehelicopterdownsafelyenoughtosaveeveryoneelse

onboardfromwhatIheard.”

“Youcan’tmakethisblackandwhite,Taylor.”
“Actually,Ican.”
“TheendresultisthatIwasn’tabletobringitdownsafelyenoughtosaveeveryman.”Hisleft

legbouncedathummingbirdspeed.“Andyourbrotherisn’therebecauseofthat.”

Alumpswelledinherthroat,forQuinn,forAlex…forherowngrief.“Hedieddoingwhathe

loved,Alex.Forsomethinghebelievedpassionatelyindyingfor.”Thesewerewordsshe’dclungto
intheweeksafterherbrother ’sdeath.Wordssheknewwithallherheartweretrue.

Hestoodabruptlyandwentinsidethehouse,leavingTaylortherewithherjawhangingopen.

Again.Forbeingsuchatoughguy,hesuredidrunawayalotfromwhatshehadtosay.

Whenshegotintothekitchen,Alexwasbendingovertheonepieceoftrimshe’dalmost

completedbeforehe’dinterrupted.

“Weneedtoanglethisendoff,”hesaid.“Makesithardertoseetheseams.”
“Standupandfinishourconversation,”shesaid.
Hehesitatedtheneasedhimselfup.Turnedtofaceher.“WhathappenedtoshyScarlet?”
“Shegotmadandhadtoleave.You’restuckwithticked-offTaylor.”
Onesideofhismouthcurvedupandheshookhishead.“Shescaresme.”
“Sheshould.”
“I’mgoingtohelpyouwiththehouse,likeweagreed.SorryIflakedthismorning.”
Shestaredhimdown,debatingwithherself.She’dwelcomethehelpfromsomeonebut…
“Idon’twanttobeanobligationtoyou,”shesaidquietly.
“You’renotanobligation.You’remybestfriend’slittlesister.Iwanttodoit.”
“WhatifQuinnwasstillalive?Wouldyoustillinsist?”
“Ican’tsaywhatI’ddoorwhereI’dbeifQuinnwasalive.I’dgiveanythingtofindout.”
HisvoicewassothickwithsadnessthattearsfilledTaylor ’seyes.Withoutthought,shestepped

forwardandwoundherarmsaroundhim,achingforhim.Forbothofthem.Forseveralseconds,
Alexstoodstiffly,motionless.Eonslater,shefelthishandsonhertorso,hesitantlyatfirst,andthen
hepulledhercloseandburrowedhischinintoherhair.

She’dinitiatedthehugtocomforthim,but…lord,shemusthaveneededitjustasmuch.More.

Sheclosedhereyesandpressedintohissolidchest,lettingthetearsthatspilledoverbesoakedupby
hisshirt.Theystoodlikethat,unmoving,notsayinganythingforsometime.Seconds?Minutes?She
shouldfeelawkward.Self-conscious.Butshe’dbeencravingthis,thecomfortofanotherperson,
withoutevenrealizingit.NotspecificallyAlex,shetoldherself.Butbeinginhisarms…

Stopthinkingsomuchandjusttakethecomfortwhileit’sthere.
Alexloosenedhisholdonherandranahandoverhermessyhair.“Thewholethingisscrewing

withmyhead.”Shefelthisbreathathertemple.“I’mtryinglikecrazynottodwellonit.Tryingto
moveforwardbutnotsurehow.AllIcanfigureoutisthatIneedtogetbacktowhatIdo,whatQuinn
did.Whathebelievedinsostrongly.”

Reluctantly,shepulledbackenoughtolookhimintheeye.“Aslongasyou’redoingitasa

positivething.Nottryingtopunishyourselforsomething.”

“Idon’thaveanydamnideawhatI’mdoingmostdays.Fixingupyourhousegivesme

somethingtothinkabout.”

Heseemedlost.Vulnerableandunsureofhimselfforthefirsttimesinceshe’dmethim.Hewas

nolongerthegodlikebeautifulmanwhocoulddonowrong,whomadeherfeelinadequate.Allthose
yearssinceQuinnhadfirstbroughtAlextotheirhouse,she’dneverbeenabletoseepasttheveneer
tothemanbeneath.Nowshedid.

Ashiseyesmethers,shewasn’tsureifthatwasagoodthingornot.Wasshebetteroffgettingto

knowAlexorkeepinghimintheuntouchablecategory?Becausethemoresheknew,themoreshe
cared.

Anditdidn’tseemwisetocaretoomuchaboutsomeonewho’dneverthinkofherasmorethan

hisduty,asadebttoamanwhowasnolongeralive.

CHAPTERTEN

LEXKNEWFORAFACT

Taylorwasstillalive.Sheleftlittlesignsaroundherhouse:thedishwasherrunning

whenhelethimselfintoworkonhisnon-therapydays,apartiallyeatenfreshapplecoffeecake—
locallymadeandorganicofcourse—onthecounterwithanoteforhimtohelphimself.

Healsoknewshe’dbeenavoidinghimeversincethenightaweekandahalfagowhenshe’d

insistedtheytalkaboutQuinn.

Atfirsthe’dbeenrelievedbyherdisappearingact.Thatsceneinherkitchenhadlefthim

exposed.Insteadoffixingthetrimthenandthere,he’dgottenasparekeyfromherandpromisedto
getstartedTuesdaywhileshewasatwork.Theplanwastolethimselfintoworktwoorthreedaysa
weekuntiltheprojectlistwasfinished.

Yeah,sohe’dplayedtheavoidancegame,too,butitwasforherowngood.Nowhewasdone

withit,though,oratleastwantedabreakfromitsohecouldseehowshewasdoing.Thatwasallhe
wanted,hetoldhimself.Tomakesureshewasokay.Thatshehadn’trevertedtobeingupsetthathe’d
kissedher,stoodherup,beenageneralall-aroundprick.

Whentheheckwasthatwomangoingtocallitquitsatthedayjobandcomehome?Itwas

almostnine-thirtyatnight.Hadshegoneonanotherdatewithsomejackwad?

Heclimbeddownfromthestepladderwherehe’dbeenreplacingdamagedceilingtilesinthe

basement.Hislegnearlygaveoutonhimwhenheputhisweightonitandhebitoutacurse.

OneofTaylor ’scatsseemedtothinkthefactthathewasonthegroundsignifiedawillingnessto

petit,soitwalkedoverandrubbedagainsthislegs.

“You’regettingmypantsallfurry,cat.”
Thefelinestoppedandlookedupathim.Itgotuponitsbackfeetandpawedhisthigh

expectantly.Alexstareditdown,thengaveinandpetteditsheadforafewseconds.Whenhemoved
towardhistoolbox,thecattrottedalongwithhim.

“That’sallyouget,cat.Don’tbesogreedy.”
Alexhadpushedhardtoday.ThedecisiontohangarounduntilTaylorgothomehadbeena

subconsciousoneuntilthepasthourorso.Nowhecheckedhiswatcheveryfiveminutes,wondering
whereshewas.Whoshewaswith.

Heputawayhistoolsandsuppliesforthenightandmadehiswayslowlyupthestairs,concern

andjealousybattlinginhisgut.Heneededtocanthejealousyonceandforallandjustfocusonthe
concern.

Theupstairswasdark—thesunhadsetsincehe’dbeendownstairs—soheflippedonthedim

lightabovethekitchensink.Theapplecoffeecakesittingthereremindedhimhe’dworkedthrough
dinner.Hesatatthetablewithhisnewfriend,thecat,andtheremainingthree-quartersofthecake.He
dugintoitwithafork.

ThecakewasnearlygonewhenthebackdooropenedandTaylorwalkedin.Notyetspotting

him,shegreetedthesecondcat,who’dwalkedovertomeether.Whensheturnedaround,ascream
slippedoutandsheputherhandtoherchest.

“Whatareyoustilldoinghere?”
Heheldupthelastbiteofcoffeecakeonhisfork.“Dinner.Ioweyouone.”

Shecheckedherwatch.“It’snine-thirty.”
“Didyouhaveadate?”
Foraninstant,shelookedconfused,thencoveredwithafrown.“WhatifIdid?”
“Theguybetterhavetreatedyourightthistime.”Alexgotup,threwawaytheemptyfoil

containerandputhisdirtyforkinthedishwasher.

Taylorstoodeighteeninchesaway,watchinghiminsilence,hergentlegreeneyeshidingbehind

thespecs.Herhairwaspulledbackathernapeasusual,notasinglestrandoutofplace.Herclothing
wasvintagebuttoned-upTaylor—plainblackpantsandashort-sleevedpeachsweaterthatrevealed
verylittleofhermilkyskin.Onceagain,she’dputallherstylefocusonherfeetwithimpossiblyhigh
snakeskin-patternedblackheelsthatcametoawickedpointinthefront.Theylookedaboutas
comfortableasbrand-newcombatbootsasizetoosmall.

“Well?”Hesuddenlycaredtoomuchaboutherresponse.
“Ididn’tgoonadate,”sheadmitted.“Iworkedlate.Youknowme,MissSocialLife.”
Aknockatthebackdoorstartledbothofthem.ThedooropenedandViennacalledout.
“Hellooo?Tay,it’sme.”Shestuckherheadinsideandgrinnedwhenshesawthem.“Hey,guys.

SawyouturndownthestreetandthoughtI’dstopby,”shesaidtoTaylor.

“Hi.”Taylorsmiledbutseemeduneasy.
“Whatareyoustilldoinghere,Alex?Earningsomeovertime?”Hissisterwaggedherbrows

suggestively.ThankfullyTaylormissedit.

“Gotonarolltoday.Didyouworryaboutme?”
“Always,”shesaidsarcastically.“I’vebeenpiningaway,waitingforyoutocomehome.”She

walkedallthewayintothekitchen.“I’vebeencampedoutatthelibrarytryingtofinishsomereading.
MomwasdoingaWheelofFortunemarathonwiththeweek’srecordedepisodeswhenshegothome
fromwork.Ihadtobail.AndI’vegotsomethingforyou,Taylor.”SheheldoutaLaurel’sShoesbag.

“What…?”Taylorhesitantlytookthebagandopenedit.“Oh,mylord!”
Alexwatched,curiousashell.Shepulledoutapairofgreenglitteryflip-flopsthatlookedjust

likehissister ’spurpleones.

“Arethese…”Taylorexaminedthemfromeveryangle.
“Foryou.Seriousclearance,butmywayofsayingthanksforeverythingyou’vedone.The

laptop,theintroductionsatyourcompany…”

“Thisisweird,”Alexmuttered.
“Notweird.”Taylorsettheshoesonthefloor,slippedashoeoffandtriedonasandal.
“Sevenandahalf?”Viennaasked.
“You’regood.Thankyou.Ilovethem.”Shescuttledovertoadrawerandtookoutscissors.

Bendingover,shecuttheplasticringholdingtheshoestogether,thenslidherotherfootintothe
secondone.“I’dofferyousomecoffeecakebutyourbrothertookcareofitalready.”

“Ican’tstayanyway—stillhaveabunchofreadingfortomorrow.Youwantaride,armyguy?”
“Affirmative,marketinggirl.Givemefivetofinishcleaningup.”
Ashewalkedthroughthemainfloorofthehouseinsearchofanytoolshemighthaveleft,he

couldhearthetwotalkingcasuallyinthekitchen.Hecouldn’thelpnoticingthatTaylorseemedshy,
uneasywithVienna.He’dthoughtthey’dbeengettingalongfinewhentheywereatSaintPatty’s.

HeglancedinTaylor ’sbedroomeventhoughhehadn’tworkedintheretoday.Orever.Her

closetdoorshadtobereplacedandthewalls,likeeveryotherroominthehouse,neededtobe
painted,butforsomereasonhe’davoidedgoinginherroom.Herbedwasneatenoughtopass
militaryinspection—exceptforsilky-lookingpajamasfoldeduponherpillow.Thesightstartedhis
bloodpumpingfasterandmadehimrecall,indetail,theskimpyonesshe’dwornafterher
shower…?.Thiswaswhyhehadn’tworkedonherclosetyet.Heneededtogethislibidounder

control.

Aquickcheckthroughtheothertwobedroomsassuredhimhehadn’tleftanythingbehind.He

headedbacktothekitchenandfoundTayloralone,fixingherselficedtea.

“Didsheleavemehanging?”Alexasked.
TaylorshookherheadjustasVeelaidonthehornoutside.
“Doesshefeelsorryformeorsomething?”Taylorasked,stoppinghimshortonhiswaytothe

door.

“Feelsorryforyou?”Heturnedtowardherandsearchedherface.“Whywouldyouthinkthat?”
“SheboughtmeshoesandaskedmetoSundaydinner.”
Alexprocessedthatidea,imaginingTaylorathisfamily’stable.Growingup,Quinnhad

frequentedtheironesit-downmealeachweekandhadfitinlikeanotherWorth.Hismomwouldlove
havingaguest.NowthatMarshallhadofficiallymovedbackhome,it’dalmostbelikeoldtimes.

Taylornervouslytappedthecounterwiththefingernailsofherlefthandwhilesqueezinglemon

juiceintoherglasswithherrighthand.

“Mysisterlikesyou.Sheappreciatesthehelpyou’vegivenher,butmostlyshe’sjusttryingtobe

yourfriend.Gowithit.”

Hestoodnexttoheratthecounter,watchingherfromtheside.Taylordidn’tlookathim,just

wrinkledherforehead.

“What’swrong?”heasked.
Sheglancedsidewaysbutnotdirectlyathim,shakingherhead.“Justmebeingme.Ilikeyour

sister.”Shestirredherteaabsently.“I’mnotverygoodatfriends.”

ThehornhonkedagainbutAlexignoredit.Thoughtbacktowhenthey’dbeenkids.Teens.He

didn’trememberhereverhavingafriendovertothehouseorgettingphonecalls.Atschoolshe’d
beenaloner.He’dfigureditwasthetwo-yeargapbetweenherandherclassmates.Taylorwas
different,withoutadoubt,butithadn’toccurredtohimthatshe’dnevermadeaclosefriendortwo,
especiallyincollege.

“Vienna’seasy.Justbeyourself.”
Shetriedtosmilebutitwasmoreofagrimace.“Thanks.Iwouldn’texactlysayIwasmyself

drinkingtwomartinis.”Sheshookherheaddismissively.“Youbettergobeforeshedesertsyou.”

Whatwasitaboutthiswomanthatevokedsomekindofprotectiveresponseinhim?Hestaredat

heramomentlonger,wantingtoreassureherbutsettlingforsqueezinghershoulderlightlyonhis
waypast.

Shereallydidn’thaveaconceptofwhatanamazing,likablepersonshewas.Toobadhewasn’t

inapositiontomakeherbelieveit.

CHAPTERELEVEN

TWASDUMBFOR

AYLOR’S

insidestobetiedinknotsbeforedinnerattheWorths’house.Sheknewthem

wellenough,oratleastfiftypercentofthem.

Shepulledherhybriduptothecurbandturnedtheengineoff.Sattheretryingtocalmherself.

ReplayedAlex’swordsaboutViennagenuinelylikingher.

Logically,Taylorunderstoodherfearswereunfounded.Viennawasasincere,warmperson

whohaddonenothingbutbefriendly.ItwasthatunsureteenagegirlinsideofTaylor,theonewho
usedtothrowupeverymorningintheschoolbathroombecauseshedreadedwhattheday,whatthe
meankidswouldhaveplannedforher.

Viennawascute,put-together,instantlylikable.Theembodimentofa“popular”girl.Butthey

weregrownupnowandTaylorneededtoreprogramherselftoacceptthatcliqueswereathingofthe
painfulpast.ViennahadseensomethingshelikedinTaylor—thegrown-up,competent,computer-
programmerversion—andrecognizedthethingstheyhadincommoninsteadofthewaystheywere
different.

Still…trustdidn’tcomeeasilyforTaylor.Trustinothersorinherself.
Asshewalkedupthedrivetowardthefrontdoor,sheprayedtoGodshedidn’tmakeafoolof

herselftonight,didn’tsaythewrongthing,spillsomething,generallymakeherselflooklikethe
socialdorkshewas.

Beforeshecouldturnupthewalkway,Viennapokedherheadaroundthecornerofthehouse

fromthebackyard.

“Hey,Tay.Comeonbackhere.”
Taylorsmiledandrelaxedslightly.“Hello,”shesaidasshesteppedontotheexpansivetiled

patio.Anoutdoorfireplacedominatedonecorner,surroundedbywrought-ironbenches.Another
corneroverflowedwithbarrelsandpotsoffloweringplants.Viennasatataroundglass-toppedtable
inthecenterofthespace,anewspaperopenedinfrontofher.“Ineverknewyouhadsuchapretty
spacebackhere.”

Viennashrugged.“It’sonlyacoupleofyearsold.Idesigneditandfinallyconvincedmymomto

footthebilltohavetheworkdone.It’smysummerhideout.”Shegesturedatthechairnexttohers.
“Makeyourselfcomfortable.”

Thetablewasshadedbyatoweringelmtree.“Thisisbeautiful,”Taylorsaid.“I’mnotsure

you’devergetmeinsideifIhadsomethinglikethis.”

“Ifyoueverwantoneyourself,I’dbehappytoplanitoutforyou.I’mnotaprobutIcansave

yousomebucksonoutrageousdesignfees.”

“IfIwasn’tplanningtosellthehouse,I’dhaveyoustarttoday.”
“Yournewplace,then,whereverthatendsupbeing.”
“Deal.Readinganythinginteresting?”Taylorrecognizedthelocalweeklybusinesspublication.

Shepickeditupwhenshecouldandalwaysmeanttosubscribe.Thoughshewascontentatherjob,
shelikedtokeepuponwhatwashappeningwithothercompanies.

“Asamatteroffact…”Viennaflippedbackafewpages,hereyescomingalive.“Checkthis

out.”ShetappedthepaperemphaticallywitheachwordandsetthearticleinfrontofTaylor.

“‘Madison’sBrainiestBachelors,’”Taylorreadaloud.Sheglancedoverthedouble-pagespread,

scannedthephotosforanyonesheknew.“O-kay.WhatamIlookingat?”

“These,”Viennasaidexcitedly,“areyourlistguys!They’reperfect.Exactlywhatyou’re

lookingfor.”

Taylorfrownedandstartedreading.Thefeaturewasthefirstinaweeklyseriesthathighlighted

localeligiblebachelorswhoweresuccessfulintheirfields.Andallegedlybrilliant.Itpromisedthat
femaleswouldbehighlightedthefollowingmonth.

Thefivemenweren’tGQ.Theywerewell-groomedandconfident,though.Somewerebetter-

lookingthanothers.Mostworesuits.Eachoneradiatedsuccessinhisownway.

Taylorskimmedthetextthattoldeachman’sposition,hisinterests,age,professionalaffiliations

andbusinessphilosophy.Shesatupstraighter.

“You’reright.TheseareexactlythekindsofmenI’dliketomeet.IjustwishIknewhow.Ibet

theydon’tleavetheirofficesveryoften.”

“Suretheydo.”Viennapulledthepaperbacktowardher.“Andthistellsusexactlywherethey

go.BillhereisvicepresidentofthelocalchapterofEntrepreneursandInventors.Greggfounded
MadisonMathematicians.AndlookatJoel.He’sidealforyou.Notonlyishethebest-lookingbuthe
belongstoInformationTechnologyProfessionals.”

“I’mprettycertaintheydon’thangoutatbarsanditdoesn’tlistthegrocerystoresthey

frequent.”Taylorlaughed.“Theyprobablyhaveadeliveryserviceanyway.Idon’tknowhowtofind
guyslikethese.”

Vienna,whoselegshadbeenproppedonthechairoppositeher,droppedherfeettotheground.

“Wetrackthemdownintheirnaturalhabitat.Stalkthemattheirextracurricularmeetings.”

“Wedon’tbelongtoanyofthoseorganizations.”
“Butwecouldjoin.I’mbettingmostofthemallowanyonetobecomeamember,exceptmaybe

theMidwestManufacturersGuild.”

ThethoughtofdroppingintoprofessionalmeetingstomeeteligiblementiedTaylor ’sstomach

inknots.

“Whatdoyouthink?”Viennaasked.
“Terrifying.”Taylorshookherhead.
ThebackdoortothehouseopenedandCherylWorthappeared.“Dinner ’salmostready.Icould

useyourhelp,Vienna.Taylor…”Warmthfilledhervoice.“It’ssogoodtoseeyou,honey.Howare
you?”

Taylorforcedasmile,stillrattledbyVienna’sidea.“I’mdoingwell,thanks.”SheandVienna

stoodandheadedtowardthedoor.“Dinnersmellsfantastic.”

“It’sanoldfamilyrecipeforbaconmacandcheese.Haven’tmadeitforages.Ijusthopeit

comesoutokay.”Sheclosedthedoortokeepthecooledairinside.“Isuddenlyfindmyselfwithafull
nestagain…andanexcusetocookarealdinner.”

“Thanksforincludingme,”Taylorsaid.Ifshewasdisappointedthatthekitchenwasempty,she

didn’tacknowledgeittoherself.OnepartofherwantedtoseeAlex,buttheother,thesocially
cluelesspart,didn’t.Butterfliesflutteredinhergut.Eventhoughshe’dmadeprogressandingeneral
feltlessineptaroundhim,hestillsetherbalanceonedgeinadifferentway.Awayshedidn’tcareto
examineatall.

“WhatcanIdo?”Taylorasked.
“Yougirlscansetthetableandgetdrinks.”
ViennatookfivedinnerplatesdownandhandedthemtoTaylor.“Silverware’sinhere.I’lltake

drinkduty.”

Taylorwasrelievedtohaveameanstooccupyherself,evenifitwasamindlesstask.Shecould

hearsomeoneupstairswalkingaround,andshewonderedifitwasAlex.Someonethunderedupthe
basementstairs,aswell.

“Jeez,Marsh.Remembertheshower?”Viennasaidasherunkemptbrothertrundledinsilently.

“Woulditkillyoutonotsmellfordinner?”

“Ismellfine,princess.”Heopenedthecabinetandtookdownacocktailglass.
“Gotyouwateralready,”Viennasaid.
“Notlookingforwater.”
Taylorwatchedtheinteractionbetweenthetwoasshefinishedsettingthetable.Shecouldfeel

thetensionbetweenthemandwonderedhowuncomfortablesittingdowntogetherwouldbe.

Herpulsepickedupasfootstepsdescendedthestairstowardthekitchen.Sheplacedthelastknife

justasAlexenteredtheroom.Shetookinhisappearanceinmereseconds—fadedbluejeansinstead
ofhisusualcargos,aplain,darkgreenT-shirtstretchingacrosshischest,blacktennisshoes.His
grayeyeszeroedinonhersforaninstant.Shelookedawaybutnotwithoutrecordingtheimagein
hermindtoappreciatelater.

“Hey,”hesaidtotheroomingeneral.“Ismellfood.”
“Don’tyouthinkyoucouldwaittillafterdinnertostartyourdailydrinkfest?”Viennaasked

Marshall,standingnexttohimatthecounter.

“Toolate,”hesaid.
Marshallturnedtowardthetableandmadehiswayacrosstheroomwithaglassfullofgolden-

brownliquid.ViennashookherheadandrolledhereyeswhenAlexlookedather.

“He’sokay,”Alexsaid.“Lethimbe.”
Viennagavehimalookthatseemedtoaskwhenheandtheirolderbrotherhadgottensobuddy-

buddybutshesaidnothing.Alexhadmentionedhisbrotherhadlosthiscompanyrecently,andit
appearedhewasn’thandlingitverywell.Ormaybehewasjusthavingabadday.

“YourememberTaylorMcCabe,”Mrs.WorthsaidtoMarshallassheputasteaminghot

casseroledishinthemiddleofthetable.“Quinn’ssister.”

RecognitionflashedinMarshall’seyes,quicklyfollowedbysympathy.
Taylorwasmostlyfineuntilsomeonefeltsorryforher.
“Nicetoseeyou,”shesaid,hopinghewouldn’tbreakintothetypicalspielabouttragedy,being

sorry,etc.Shewantedtobelieveshewasn’therecompletelyoutofsympathy,butdoubtnaggedather.

“SorryIdidn’tshower.Didn’tknowwe’dhaveaprettyguest.”
Mrs.WorthsetabowlofgreenbeansonthetableasViennaputaglassofwaterateveryone’s

place,plonkingMarshall’sdownharderthannecessary.Alexwanderedoverandsatnexttohis
brother.HenoddedtoTaylortositonhisotherside.

“Asfarasyou’reconcerned,Taylor ’soffthemarket,”Alexsaid,andshebracedherselfforher

oldcompanion,embarrassment.“She’sdoingtheonlinedatingthing.Right?”

That’swhatshegotforpurposelynottellingAlexshe’ddroppedtheideaandclosedher

account.“Notexactly.”

Marshallsmiledather.
“Imean,theonlinepart.Notanymore.”ShewassureMarshallwasaniceman,butcleanliness

wassuchagivenwithher,shehadn’tevenbotheredtoputitonherlist.Maybethiswasn’thistypical
statebutshefeltnoattractiontohim.

“Nothavinganyluck?”Alexasked.Obviouslyhewasstilltryingtokeeptabsonherdatinglife

outofamisplacedresponsibility,notbecausehehadanyinterestinherasawoman.Fortunatelyfor
him,keepingtrackofherdateswasaneasyjob.Theywerenonexistentatthemoment.

“Idecidedonenightmarewasenough,”shesaid,avoidingeveryone’spryinggazes.
“Someofmygirlfriendsswearbytheonlinedatingscene,”Mrs.Worthsaid.Whenallthreeof

herchildren’sheadsspunherway,shewidenedhereyesunapologetically.“What?Fifty-somethings
needlove,too.”

“Idon’twanttohearaboutthat,”Alexsaid,helpinghimselftosomefruitsalad.
“Isecondthat.”Viennapickeduptheservingspoonandheapedsomemacandcheeseonher

plate.

“Ididn’tsayIwasdoingit,”hermothersaid.“Yet.Whatkindofbadexperiencedidyouhave,

Taylor?”

TheverythoughtofDanDrummondkilledTaylor ’sappetite.“Justyouraveragemiserable

date,”shesaid,notabouttogointothedetails.“Itprobablywasn’tbecauseoftheonlineaspect
specifically,butIfeelbettermeetingamaninpersonbeforesubjectingmyselftoseveralhourswith
him.”

“Smart,”Mrs.Worthsaid.
“WehavenewplansforTayloranyway,”Viennaannounced.
“Maybe.”Itwasobviousthisfamilysharedalotatthedinnertablebutthatdidn’tmeanTaylor

wascomfortablewithit.

“Whatkindofplans?”OfcourseAlexcouldn’thaveletthecommentslideby.
“Well,”Viennasaid,finishingamouthfuloffood.“Thebiggestchallengeismeetingthekindof

menTaylor ’slookingfor.Youdon’tfindalotofintelligent,successfulguyshangingoutinbars.So
we’rethinkingaboutinvadingtheirterritory,sotospeak.”

“Onlythinkingaboutit,”Taylorinsisted.
Viennaexplainedtheideaofjoiningprofessionalorganizations.Taylorwantedtohugherfor

notgoingintothebrainiestbachelorarticle.Somehowjustthetitleofthefeaturemadeitan
embarrassingendeavor.

“Letmegetthisstraight.Youjoinallthesebusinessgroupsandgototheirfunctionstotrollfor

geeks?”

“Notgeeks,armyguy.Intelligent,professionalmen.Singleones.”
“Ifthey’resoindemand,whyaretheysingle?”heasked.
“Whyareyousingle?”Viennashotback.
AlexignoredherandTaylorfelthimstaringather.“Andyou’recoolwiththis?”
Shetookhertimechewingthefoodinhermouth.Tookadrinktowashitdown…andstall.

Whenshecouldn’tavoidhimanylonger,shemethisgaze.

Hiseyesburnedintohers,andforaninstant,shesawthesameheatinthemaswhenhe’dkissed

her.Thefeelofhismouthonhers,hisarmsholdingherclose,allofitcamebacktohernowin
sensualdetail.

Shewantedthatagain.CraveditthewayachocoholicyearnedforaSnickers.She’ddoneher

besttoblockoutmemoriesofthateveningandnormallymanagedtoonlyletthemsneakinlateat
nightwhenshewasatherweakest.Loneliest.

Nowwasnotthetimeforthemtoslippastherdefenses.
“Well?Areyou?”herepeated.
Taylorhadtothinkhardtorecallthequestion.“I’mconsideringit.”
“It’snotabadidea,”hismothersaid.“Ifyouwentwithher,Vienna,youcouldmakesome

valuablecontacts.”

“That’strue.”Vienna’senthusiasmgrew,ifthatwaspossible.
Mrs.Worth’spointwasavalidone,butstill,Taylorwasn’tabouttoagreetotheplanwithout

weighingallthevariables.

“Can’tbelieveyou’rereallyconsideringthat,”Alexmumbled.
“Youdidn’tliketheinternetdatingidea,either,”Taylorremindedhim.“Sotellmewhatyou

wouldsuggestasawayofmeetingeligiblemenwhodon’tspendeverynightdrinkingmoreounces
ofbeerthantheyhaveIQpoints.”

“Don’taskhim,”Viennasaid.“He’sbarelyleftthehouseinthemonthsincehe’sbeenhome

otherthantogotoPToryourplacetowork.”

“Youmustbeconfusingmewithhim,”Alexsaid,noddingtowardMarshall.
“Gotohell,”wasMarshall’sfirstcontributiontothediscussion.
ItwasobviousMarshallwasn’tinthemoodforthisconversation,andthelastthingTaylor

wantedtodowasannoyhimmore.ShedidherbesttodrawtheattentionbacktoAlex.“Something
tellsmeyou’veneverhadtroublegettingadate,anyway.”Caseinpoint,thewaitress’sinstantinterest
atIan’s.

“Doesthatmakemeabadperson?”Alexasked.
“Youregomakesyouabadperson.”Viennahelpedherselftoasecondservingofmacand

cheese.

“Icouldintroduceyoutoafew‘badpeople.’”
“Whydon’tyoutakeitastepfurtherandgooutandmeetsomeoneyourself,”hissister

suggested.“You’resoopinionatedaboutTaylor ’slovelife,butreally,youcan’ttalk.”

“MaybeIcouldtagalongtoGeeksAnonymouswithyoutwo.”
“Wewouldn’tbecaughtdeadwithyou.”Viennagrinnedsmuglyatherbrother.
“SowhatdoyouthinkIshoulddo,MissMarketing?”
“Gotoabar.Meetagirl.Infact,takehimwithyou.”ShenoddedatMarshall.“Meettwogirls.

Thehousehasshrunksinceyoubothmovedback.”

“Whatdoyousay,Marshall?Youdon’thavetoworktomorrow.Upforanightout?”
Marshalllookedmorelivelyandinterestedthanhe’dbeensincecomingupstairs.“I’mgamefor

awomanhunt.”

Theirmothershookherhead.“Imighthavetodisownyouchildren.”
“Ididn’tmeanyoushouldgotrackdownaone-nightstand,”Viennasaid.“Nastyboys.”
“Notdinnerconversationmaterial,”Mrs.Worthsaid,puttingherhandup.
TaylorbecameoverlyinterestedintherestofhermacaroniandcheeseastheWorthsreminisced

aboutcontroversialdinnerdiscussionsfromthepast.Shetriedtopayattention,butshecouldn’thelp
turningasinglethoughtoverinhermind…WasAlexplanningtopickupawomantonight?

Undoubtedlyhehadbefore.Hewasamale.Inthemilitary.Shedidn’trememberhimhavingany

long-termrelationships.Butthensheprobablywouldn’thaveknownanywayunlessQuinnhadsaid
something.

Thethoughtofhimgoinghomewithsomeonehebarelyknewtonight…Shesqueezedhereyes

shut.

“Areyouokay,Taylor?”Mrs.Worthasked.
Taylor ’seyespoppedopenandsheflashedanoverzealoussmile.“I’mfine.”
Shewasn’tfine.Shewasjealousofapotential,trashy,one-nightstandthatAlexmightdecideto

hookupwithtonight.Thatwasbadnewsonsomanylevelsthatshe,themathwhiz,couldn’tcount
themall.

JealousywhereAlexwasconcernedwasnotaviableoption.Caringabouthimasmorethanjust

afriendwasn’t,either.Hefailedtomeetmorethanoneofthequalificationsonherlist.Andtherewas
thesmallmatterthattheonlyreasonhespenttimewithherordidthingsforherwasbecausehewas
beatinghimselfupoverQuinn’sdeath.

AssoonassheandViennawerealone,theyhadsomeresearchtodo.Specifically,sheneededto

choosewhichbrainiestbachelorhangoutshewasgoingtotargetfirst.

CHAPTERTWELVE

LEXHADEVERYINTENTION

ofmeetingawomantonight.

HewassickanddamntiredofworryingaboutTaylor.Heronlinedates,hernewestschemeto

meetmen.Hecouldhandlekeepingtabsonherinaprotective,look-out-for-creepsway,thekindof
“worrying”he’dsetouttodooriginally,butthethoughtshe’dhadatdinnerwerenotbrotherlynor
weretheywelcome.

Thefactwasamancouldn’tgomonthsonendwithoutsex.Notwithoutitmessing,hard-core,

withhismindandeveryotheraspectofhislife.Itwasthatsimple.Itwastime,pasttime,forAlexto
endhisdryspell.

Marshallsetabeerandacocktailonthehigh,stool-lesstablewhereAlexstood,thencaught

holdoftheedgetosteadyhimself.

“Placeisfinallyfillingup,”Marshallsaid,managingnottoslurhiswords.“Lotofchickshere

foraSundaynight.”

“Mostlycollegegirls.Youcouldbetheirfather.”
“Betteryet.Prettyyoungthings.”
“Youthinkyoubetterslowdownalittle?”Alexasked.Itwasearly.Atthisrate,hisbrotherwould

befacedownonthetablebeforetheendoftheBrewersgamethatplayedonthelarge-screenTVs
aroundtheroom.

“DidyoubringMomwithus?”
“MaybeIshouldhave.”
“That’dseriouslycrampmystyle.”
“LastIknew,sloppydrunkwasn’tyourstyle,dude.”
“Thingschange.”
AchorusofcheersrangthroughthebarandAlexcheckedtheclosestbigscreen.Outofthe

cornerofhiseye,hesawMarshallpickuphiscocktail—likelystraightwhiskey—andturntolookat
thescore.Theamberliquidsloshedoutofhisglassandendedupontheshoulderofthewoman
standingclosesttotheirtable.Marshalldidn’tevennotice.

Alexmetthewoman’seyesassheturnedtowardthem,herannoyanceclear.Hereachedacross

thetableandswattedMarshall’supperarm—theonenotholdinghisdrink—togethisattention.His
brother ’sreactiontimewasdelayedbutwhenMarshallfinallyacknowledgedhim,Alexnodded
towardthewoman.

“Majorpartyfoul,Marshall.”
IttookseveralsecondsforMarshalltofocushiseyesonthewomanandunderstandwhathad

happened.

“Ooh,sorry,honey.”Hetookthecocktailnapkinthat’dbeenunderhisdrinkandwentforthe

spotonherT-shirt.Thatwasn’tgoingtodoaquarterofthejob.

Alexsearchedthesurroundingtablesforrealnapkins.Hespottedastackonanearbyledgeand

grabbedahandful.Heheldthemouttothewoman,buthismoronbrothertookthemfirstand
clumsilyattemptedtodryhershirtasheagainrambledoutsomelameapology.

Thewomanwasobviouslynotinthemoodforadrunkasstofondleherunderanypretense.She

snatchedthenapkinsfromMarshallandscowledathim.Marshall,evertheidiot,straightenedand
stuckhishandsintheair,surrender-style.

“Sorry.Sorry.Noharmintended.Didn’tmeantotickoffaprettygirl.”
Oncethewomanturnedandsteppedaway,Marshalltookanotherswigofliquor.
“Thatwasugly,man.Youneedtoslowdown.”
“Youjustneedtopickupthepace,”Marshallsaid.“NeverthoughtI’dseethedaywhenmylittle

brothercouldn’thangwithme.”

They’dneverhungouttogetherinthepast.Marshallhadneverbeenthebartype.
“Comeon,it’sbrothertime.We’rebothgoingthroughrottentimes,mightaswellhavesome

fun.”

ApparentlytherewasapartofAlex,burieddeep,thatwantedtoconnectwithhisolderbrother,

andthatpartsurfacednow.Theideaofthetwoofthemflippingthebirdtotheircrappycircumstances
andtippingonebacktogether…Thiswouldn’thavehappenedfiveyearsago.Miserydidlove
company.

Alexremindedhimselfhisbrotherneededtocutloose.Hell,heneededit,too.Herelaxedand

tappedtheneckofhisbeerbottletoMarshall’snearlyemptyglass.“Cheers,bro.”

Marshallfinishedhisdrinkandlookedtowardthebar.
“Givemeaminutetocatchup,”Alexsaid.Sharedmiseryornot,hisbrotherneededtoslowthe

helldown.Tellinghimthatdirectlywasn’tgoingtodoanygoodtonight,though.“I’llgetthenext
roundifyouwait.”

HemanagedtodragouthisbeerforeightminutesbeforeMarshallgotantsy.
“Youneedanippleforthatthing?”Marshallasked.“I’llgetthisround.Youcangetthenext.”He

stalkedtowardthecounterbeforeAlexcouldstophim.

AlexbecameengrossedintheballgameandwasjuststartingtorealizeMarshallhadbeengone

toolongwhenheslidanotherbottleofbeeracrossthesmalltableandsethishalf-fullwhiskeyglass
downhard.

“Longline?”
“Nah.Wastalkingtoawomanatthebar.”
Justthenalargehandslammeddownontheirtable,sloshingwhiskeyoverthesideoftheglass

andmakingAlex’sbeerbottleskitteraninchtotheside.

“Thatyoutalkingtomygirlfriendoverthere?”Alargemanwithasleeveoftattoosoneacharm

andadeathglintinhiseyesglaredatMarshall.

Shit,whathadMarshalldonenow?
“IfIdid,itwasanaccident.”
Marshalldidn’tseemasconcernedasthesituationwarranted.Alexcouldholdhisowninafight,

butthisguy…helookedlikethetypethatdidn’tplayfair.Thekindthatcarriedaswitchbladeand
wouldn’thesitatetouseit.

Alexwatchedtherestoftheexchangewarily,readytojumpintothefrayforhisbrotherif

necessary.

TattooManthreatenedsomemore,andMarshallpleadeddrunkeninnocence.Theguystaredhim

down.Marshallwastoofargonetorecognizethedangerinhiseyes.

“He’sleavingsoon,”Alexsaidtothebigguy,whothenturnedtowardhimandscowledashe

sizedhimup.Alexstraightenedandcrossedhisarms.

ThethugsaunteredoffandAlexconsideredbeatinghisbrotherhimself.“Badjudgment,man.”
“Saiditwasanaccident.GodzillawasnowherenearwhenItalkedtoher.”Heshruggedas

thougheveryonewasbeingunreasonable.“Youowemeadrink.”

Alexstaredathim,disbelieving.“Forgetit,man.You’reonyourown.”

“Worksforme,”MarshallsaidasAlexstalkedoffwithhisfullbeer.
Hecouldunderstandtheneedtoblowoffsomesteamwithafewdrinks,buthedidn’thaveto

standaroundandwatchhisbrothermakeanassofhimself.

Withnoparticulardestinationinmind,Alexscannedtheroom.Hisgazefrozeonlongcopper

hairthathungdownthebackofawomansittingatthebar.Hisfoolheartracedwithouthis
permission.Walkingcloser,hecouldeasilytellitwasn’tTaylor.Besides,shewouldn’tbecaughtin
publicwithhersexyhairdownlikethat.Sadly.

Hetooktheonlyavailableseatatthebar,severalspotsdownfromher,andkeptaneyeonthe

woman.Hedidn’tplantomakethesamemistakehisdumbassbrotherhadbymovinginonsomeone
withaboyfriend.

Whensheswiveledinherchair,hefinallygotaglimpseofherface.Pretty.Thirtysomething.

AndnothinglikeTaylor.Allgood.

Hemadeeyecontact.Smiled.Shesmiledbackandhisconfidencesurged.Hemightbealittle

rustybutconnectingwithagood-lookingwomanwaslikeridingabike.

HebidedhistimeuntilhesawMarshall’sthugwalkoutwithashortblonde,thenmadehisway

towardhisredhead.

LEXWASMESSEDUP

inthehead.

Fatraindropsstartedtofallashewalkedhomejustbefore1:00a.m.Insulttoinjury.Hebriefly

wonderedwhereMarshallhadendedupandwhetherhewasfacedowninthegrasssomewhere.The
goodnewswasthatthedumbasshadn’thadaccesstoacar.

Alexhadmadeitallthewaytotheredhead’s—Allison’s—livingroom.Nice,flirtygirl,

intelligent,unlessyouwentbyTaylor ’sstandards.Definitelyattractive.Sexyinasubtleway.

Andhehadn’thadanydesiretomakeamoveonher.
He’dkissedherseveraltimes,atthebar,onthewaytoherplace,inherkitchen,hopingtoget

carriedawaybylust.Butwhenhe’ddrawnawayafterthelastkissandopenedhiseyes,he’dexpected
—wanted—toseeadifferentwoman.Andthatrealizationhadbeenlikeabucketoficewateroverhis
head.

EscapingfromherapartmentwasamorecomplexstuntthanextractingahostagefromaMiddle

Easterncave,buthe’dfinallygottenoutwithouthavinganythingthrownathim.

Itwasn’tthatTaylorwastheoneforhim.Shewastopofmind,yes,butonlybecausehe’dbeen

aroundhersomuchlately.Justbecausehedidn’thaveanydesiretofollowanearstrangerintoher
bedroomandhavewildmonkeysexdidnotmeanhewashunguponanyone.

Itjustmeantthatnexttimehewentoutwiththeintentionofmeetingawoman,hewasgoingfora

blonde.

CHAPTERTHIRTEEN

AYLORHADDONEIT

.She’dlandedadatewithamanshe’dmetinpersonwho,atthisearlystage,appeared

tohaveseveralqualitiesonherlist.Andnovideo-gameobsessionstospeakof.

Evenmoreamazing,herdatewasJoelCavelli,oneofthe“brainiestbachelors”inthebusiness

journal—theoneViennahadcommentedonbecauseheseemedliketheperfectguyforTaylor.

ShewalkedupherdrivewaytowardthebackdoorafterViennadroppedherofffromthe

InformationTechnologyProfessionalsmeeting.Asshecrossedthedeck,shestoppedattheplanter
she’dboughtonarecenthardware-storevisitandpluckedoffthebiggest,pinkestdaisyatthebaseof
thestem.Settingherpurseandsatchelbythedoor,shewanderedtotheedgeofthedeck,noticingthe
brand-newwoodinpassing,andforoncetakingthechancetostopandenjoythemoment.She
consideredrelaxingontheoldwoodenbenchswingatthebackoftheyard,butdidn’twanttogether
newclothesdirty.Nexttime.

Viennawasagoddess.Fashiongoddess,hairgoddess,socialgoddess.Withouther,Taylor

wouldstillbeattheoffice,slavingoversomebrain-bendinglineofcode,stilldateless.

TheInformationTechnologyProfessionals’happy-hoursocialatMickey’sPubthiseveninghad

beenTaylorandVienna’ssecondundertakingforOperationChecklist.Thefirsthadbeenon
Wednesday.They’dgonetoaMadisonMathematiciansmeeting.Themathboys,asVienna
affectionatelycalledthem,wereatoughcrowd.Morebusiness—ornumbers,rather—andless
socializing,probablybecausetheyseemedtohavefewersocialskillsoverall.Date-wise,it’dbeena
bust,butTaylorhadbeenenthralledwiththeformaldiscussiononmultivariablecalculusandhad
enthusiasticallypaidforayear ’smembership.

Sheneverwould’vehadthenervetodoanyofthiswithoutVienna’sguidance.Afterthey’d

researchedseverallocalorganizationsSundaynightandchosenwhichonestohitfirst,Taylorhad
madeapanickedlate-nightcalltoViennaregardingherongoingwardrobedilemma.

She’dneverputmuchenergyintobuyingclothesorkeepingupontrends.Talkabout

monumentallyoverwhelming.Databasedevelopmentshecouldhandle.Skirtlengthsandhairstyles
shecouldnot,withtheexceptionoftheshoepassionshe’dbeenblessedwith.Afewyearsago,when
she’dfinishedhermaster ’sdegreeandlandedarealjob,she’dbeendeterminedtodemystifythe
worldofstyle.She’dboughteverymagazineontherackthathadanythingremotelytodowiththe
subjectandspenttheweekbeforeshestartedherjobporingoverthem.Intheendshe’djustbeen
moreconfusedandintimidatedandhadpickedoutafewclassic,versatile—inotherwords,nontrendy
andbland—piecestobuildon.Unfortunately,shewasstillrelyingonthosesamebasicstoday.

Buthavinganexperttogowithher,helpher—okay,justaboutdoitforher—thatwasenoughto

makeTaylortakeaction.

Twomarathonshoppingtripsandasmallfortunelater,shehadamonth’sworthofclothesin

herclosetthatactuallyhadstyle,currentstyle,plusanewlookforherhair.She’dalsodugoutthe
contactssherarelyworeandwasadjustingtousingthemeveryday.Shehadtoadmit,shedidn’tmiss
herglasses.ViennacomplimentedthechangesTaylorhadmaderepeatedly,untilTaylorhadhadthe
confidencetosetfootinthemathmeetingandtonight’scomputergeekget-together.

Endresult:adatefordinnerandthesymphonynextTuesdaywithaseeminglyveryniceman.

Taylorletherselfinside,alittlesurprisedtofindthedoorunlocked.Alexmuststillbehere

working.Shecouldnevertellbecausehehadn’tgottenaroundtobuyingacar,decidingitwasn’t
worthitwhenhe’donlybearoundforafewmonthsifhistherapywentasheplanned.Heapparently
eithercaughtaride,walkedorjoggedbackandfortheachday.Shedidn’treallyknowbecauseshe
hadn’tseenhiminoveraweek.NotsincetheSunday-nightWorthfamilydinner.Whichsuitedher
fine.Hedistractedhertoomuch.Madeherthinkaboutthingsshe’dpromisedherselftoforget,like…
kissinghim.

JoelCavelliwasn’tdrop-deadgorgeousordrippingwithrawmasculinitythewayAlexwas.He

didn’tturnherintoatongue-twistedidiotjustbylookingather.Theseweremajorpointsinhisfavor.

Shetookaslendervasedownfromthetopshelfofthekitchencabinets,filleditwithwaterand

addedthedaisy.Itwasjusttherightsizetogoonthewindowsilloverthesink.Listeningforahintto
Alex’swhereabouts,sheopenedtherefrigerator,hopingsomethingsuitablefordinnerhadmagically
appearedwhileshewasatwork.Nosuchluckoneithercount…themostappetizingthinginthefridge
washalfacantaloupe.AndifAlexwashere,hewassilent.Maybehe’djustforgottentolockupwhen
heleft.

Shepokedherheadaroundthecornertothebasementstairs,listening,butthelightswerealloff.

Shrugging,notallowingherselftoacknowledgeevenadropofdisappointment,shelockedtheback
doorandheadedtoherbedroomtochangeoutofhernewclothes.

Whenshe’dtakentwostepsintoherroom,herheartnearlyjumpedoutofherchest.Alexlay

diagonallyacrossherdoublebed,soundasleep.

Thatwastherawmasculinityshewastalkingabout.Lordabove.
Hewassprawledonhisbelly,givingherallthetimeintheworldtoadmirethewayhisblack

cargosfitoverhisperfectbutt.Evenmoredistractingwashislackofashirt.Hermouthwentdesert-
dryasshestudiedthebulgeofbicepsdisappearingbeneaththepillow—herpillow—andtheridges
andvalleysofendless,beautifulbackmuscles.

Somuchfornotthinkingaboutkissinghim.Thetemperatureseemedtoclimbtwentydegrees

andasmallpartofherwantednothingmorethantoshedherclothesandclimbinnexttohim.Maybe
inadifferentlifetime…ifshewasadifferentperson.

LEXKNEWTHESECOND

Taylorenteredtheroom.He’dbeensleepingbutheneversleptdeeply,especially

whenhewasnotinhisownbed.

Hehadn’tintendedtodriftoffinherebuthisPTsessionyesterdayhadbeenharshandhe’d

bustedhisbuttgettingthedeckrepairedtodayinspiteofscreamingmuscles.Thecoolnessoftheair-
conditionedhouseandparticularlyherbedroom,aswellasthehintofTaylor ’sscent,hadlulledhim
tosleep.

Damnhersweetscentofapplesandinnocence.She’dbeeninhisdreamsthewholetime,

preventinghimfromgettinganytruerest.Consequently,hewasrock-hardanduncomfortableashell.
Hedebatedrollingoverandallowinghertoseejustwhatshe’ddonetohim.Besttokeepitto
himself,though…hecouldn’tpromisewhatwouldhappenifhegotanymoreturnedon.

Heopenedhiseyesandlookedoverhisshoulder.Taylorhadherbacktohimasshetookher

earringsoffandsettheminthejewelryboxonherdresser.Hiseyeswidened.Herpantswere…sexy,
outliningherbody.Herclotheshadneverdonethatinthepast.Samewithhershirt.Insteadofher
usualfrumpyblouse,suitableforaseniorcitizen,theshirthuggedher,showedoffherslenderness.
Andherhair…theboringponytailwasgone.Instead,silkylockshungfreely,justlikehisbrainhad
conjuredherinhissteamydreams.

“You’rehomeearly,”hesaid,hisvoicegravelly.
Shestartledandwhippedaroundtowardhim.Staredathimforamomentasiflostinthought,

andherealizedshe’ddoneawaywiththeglasses,aswell.“It’sinterestingtocomehomeandfind
Goldilocksstillinmybed.”

“Notbad,”hesaid.“Kindofflirty.”
Hereyesgotbiganddartedtothenightstandbyhishead.Mortificationwashedoverherfaceas

sherealizedhe’dfoundherFlirtingBasicsbook.

“Yoursecret’ssafewithme,Scarlet.”
“Whyareyouinmyroom?”
Hepointedatthenewclosetdoors.“Justdoingmyjob,ma’am.”
Hershouldersrelaxedandshewalkedtothecloset.Openedandclosedtheaccordion-styledoors

afewtimes.“Somuchbetter.Thankyou.”

“Atyourservice.”Hefinallyrolledoverandsatup.“Youlook…different.”
Sheheadedbacktothedresserandrearrangedthealreadyorganizedthingsontopofit.Okay.

Apparentlythattopicwasoff-limits.

“Whatbringsyouhomesoearly?”heasked,massaginghisleftthigh.
“Let’ssee,howwouldyouputthis?ViennaandIwent‘trollingforgeeks’atthelocalGeeks’

Anonymousmeeting.”

Helookeddownatthefloor.“Icomeacrosslikeabastard,don’tI?”
“Thosearen’ttheexactwordsI’dchoose…”
Alexshookhishead,halfgrinningatherattempttosoftenthetruth.“I’msorry.”Hestoodand

walkedovertoher.“Here’sthething,Scarlet.Iwantyoutobehappy.”

“Ifthat’strue,thenyou’llbethrilledtohearthatImetsomeonethisevening.Heaskedmeout.”
Hewasn’tthrilled.
Hebeatdownthejealousjerkthatreareditsheadlikearuttingcaveman.Remindedhimselfhe

wasnotthemanforTaylor.Hewasattractedtoher,yes.Hewantedtogotobedwithher.Buthewas
notherlong-termman,notherlistguy.

Helivedwithdemonsthatpreventedhimfrombeingthemanwhocouldlethimselfloveher.
“What’shelike?Isheadecentguy?”
Shestaredathim,narrowedhereyes.“Ithinkwhatyoumeanis,‘That’sgreat,Taylor.I’mhappy

foryou.’”

“I’mhappyforyouaslongashedoesn’tturnouttobeadouchebag.”
Shesmiled.Sortof.“That’salmostsweetofyou.Heseemsperfectformesofar.He’stheIT

manageratKohlEnterprises.EnjoystheHistoryChannel,photographyandbaseball.Novideo-game
obsessions,andyes,Iasked.”

Alexnodded,bitinghistongueonanythingnegative.Shewasright.Thisguycouldbetheone

forher.Itwasalongshotbuthe’dgivehimachance.Hisdecisionmustnothaveshownonhisface,
though.

“Iknowyoudon’thaveanyconceptofwhatit’sliketohavetroublegettingadate.”
“That’snottrue—”
“Stop.”Sheshookherheadresolutely.“Youhavenoideawhatit’sliketocomehometoan

emptyhouseeverysinglenight.Togotomoviesbyyourselfjusttogetawayfromthemocking
quiet…”Sheglancedatthetidystackofmailonthedresserbehindher.“Toalwaysbethesingle,
datelessgirlateveryofficeparty,everybusinessfunction.”Shepickedupthetopitemfromthepile.
“Thiswedding?Oneofmycoworkers?MaybeI’llhaveadate.I’msurethatsoundslikenobigsappy
dealtoyou,butjustonceI’dliketohavesomeonetositwith.Someonetodancewith.”

Herhairhadfallenacrosshercheekduringherimpassionedminispeechandhecheckedhimself

frombrushingitoutoftheway.“Fairenough.Ihopethisguyworksout.”

“Thankyou.”Herwordswereforceful,stillcarryingthemomentumofherdiatribe.
“Youdon’tseemsonervousaroundmeanymore.”
Sheopenedhermouththenlookedaway.Hercheeksreddenedandheheldbackasmile.
“Asmuchasyou’vebeenhangingaround,ittooktoomuchenergy,”shefinallysaidwithahint

ofdefiance.

Thatmadehimlaugh.“WhenareyougoingoutwithListGuy?”
“NextTuesday.”Sheregrettedtellinghim.Hecouldseeitonherfacethesecondshegotthe

wordsout.“That’sallyouneedtoknow.”

“Alwaysdidcatchonquick.”
Showinguponherdateagainwouldbetoomuch.Hewouldn’tblameherforblowingupathim

ifhedidthat.He’dhavetodohisreconsomeotherway,becausehefullyintendedtomakesurethe
guywouldpassabrother ’sapproval.

Brother’s.
HelookedacrossthenarrowhallwaytothebedroomthathadbeenQuinn’s.Uglyblackcurtains

thatQuinnhadchosenduringhishigh-schooltough-guyphasestillhungatthewindow,blockingout
thelasttracesofeveningsun.

Alexletthepainhithim.Forcedhimselftostandthereandstareatthefamiliarroomwhere

Taylor ’sbrotherwouldneversetfootagain.Didn’ttrytobrushittothesideorignoreit.

Griefclosedhisthroat,nearlyblockedhisairway.Throbbedinhischestandmadeeverybreath

hurtashishalf-destroyedlegneverhad.

Thiswaswhathedeserved.NotsomethingasgoodasTaylor.

CHAPTERFOURTEEN

LEXMADERECORD

timerunninghomefromTaylor ’s.Hecouldtellevenbeforehelookedathiswatch—

hismuscleswerescreamingathim.Sureenough,hisbestpost-accidenttimeyet.Andhewasclosing
inonwherehe’dbeenpre-injury.Hewincedatthestabofpainthroughhisleg,allowingittodrown
outeverythingelseinhismind.

Hismusclesshookashelethimselfinthehousethroughthegarageentrance.He’dhopedto

comeinunnoticed,grababagofchipsanddisappearupstairstohisroom,but,ofcourse,thatwas
toomuchtoaskinthishouse,atleastwhenthetwofemaleswerehome.

“Armyguy’shome,”Viennacalledoutasheshutthedoor.“JustintimeforMom’sspaghetti.”
Damn.Hecouldn’tresisthismom’sspaghettievenonafullstomach.Asitwas,it’dbeenhours

sincehe’deatenlunch.Hedidn’tstandachance.Hetookarightturnintothekitcheninsteadofgoing
lefttowardthestairsandhisrefuge.

“Lookwhoitis,”hismomsaid.
“Smellwhoitis.”Viennawrinkledhernose.“Whydidn’tyoucallforaride?”
“Didn’twantaride.”Hesaiditmoreharshlythanhe’dintendedbuthereallywasn’tinthemood

forthefeel-goodfeminineyammer.“Where’sMarshall?”

“IwishIknew,”theirmomsaid,soundingconcerned.“Hehasn’tbeenhomesinceyesterday

afternoonasfarasIcantell.”

“He’sabigboy,”hesaidautomatically.Abigboygoingdownabadroad.Alexwasstartingto

suspectalcoholwastheeasywayoutfromashittyplace.

“Yourlegmustbedoingprettywellasmuchasyou’reexercisinglately,”hismomsaid.
“Yeah,how’stherapygoing?”Viennaaskedasshepouredmilkforallofthem.
“Makingprogress.”
NotfastenoughforhistastebutHelenrefusedtolethimincreasePTtofourtimesaweek.She

insistedhewasdoingextraordinarilywell.Admittedhe’dsurpassedherexpectations.

“You’restilldeterminedtogobacktothearmy,huh?”hismomaskedquietly.Shespoonedthe

garlic-ladensauceintoaservingbowlthencarriedittothetable.

“It’smycareer,Mom.I’mgoingbacktoit.”Hefinishedwashinghishandsandcaughtthe

concerninhismother ’seyes.“I’llmissyouandyourcooking,ofcourse.”

“Nicecatch,”Viennasaid.Shemeantwell,hewassure,butthecheerinessgratedonhisnerves

tonight.

Hetookthebowlofpastafromhismomandsetitonatrivet.
“Thisisit,kids,”theirmomsaid.“Let’seat.”
Thethreeofthemsatintheplacesthey’dclaimedyearsago—Cherylclosesttothestove,Vienna

toherleftandAlexacrossfromher.Theypassedthefoodaround,theclinkingofsilverwareon
dishestheonlysound.

“WereyouatTaylor ’sallthistime?”Viennaneverhaddonewellwithquiet.
“Yes,ma’am.”
“Didshetellyouthegoodnews?”
Hegruntedasheshovedaforkfullofpastainhismouth.

“Whatgoodnewsisthat?”theirmomasked.
“OperationChecklistwasasuccesstonight!”
“You’vegottobekiddingme.”Alex’sfoodwentdownwrongandhenearlychoked.“Operation

Checklist?Youhaveanameforthenonsense?”

“Maybenotasfar-reachingasOperationEnduringFreedomorwhatevertheheckthecurrent

wariscalled,butprettyexcitingforTaylor,nonetheless.”

“Goodforher,”theirmomsaid.“Shedeservesaniceman.She’sbeenthroughsomuchlately.”
“Youknowyou’rejustsettingheruptogethurtwiththisridiculouslistthing,don’tyou?”he

saidtoVienna.“Maybenottodayornextweekbutsometime.”

“Aren’tyouMr.Positive?”
“Really,Alex,whendidyoubecomesuchanay-sayer?”theirmomasked.
“Youtrytoforcethiswholedatingthing,measureeveryguyuptothatdamnlist,it’sgoingto

endbadly.It’snotrealisticandrelationshipsaren’tniceandneatlikethat.”

“Maybe,”Viennasaid,takinganotherbite.“Maybenot.Whyareyousoconcerned?”
Itwasadamngoodquestion.Maybehewasn’tthatconcernedafterall.Maybehewasjustina

foulmoodandneededtotakeitoutontheclosestcheerfulperson.

Viennadroppedherforkonherplateandstaredathim,hermouthopen.“Oh,myGod.”
Alexmadethemistakeofeyecontactandimmediatelylookedbackdown.
“Youwantherforyourself,”Viennasaid.
Withoutlookingup,hesensedthathismomwasstaringathim,too,herforkhalfwaytoher

mouth.

“That’snottrue.”Notexactly.
“Itexplainswhyyou’redoingallthatworkforher.Whyyou’reovertheresomuch…”
“She’spayingmeforthework.”
“Alex,doyouthinkthat’swise?”Theirmomfinallyloweredherfork.“You’releavinginthe

nearfuture.Iwouldhatetoseehergethurt…”

“Mom.I’mfixingupherhouse.She’spayingme.Endofstory.”
“Exceptit’snot,”Viennasaid.“That’swhyyoushowedupatIan’swhenshewasthereonablind

date.Andwhyyou’resogrumpytonight.Itallmakessensenow.”

Everymuscleinhisbody,depletedornot,coiledwiththeneedtojumpoutofthechairand

protest.Hefoughtithard,knowingfullwellthatwouldconvincehisbusybodysistershewasright.
Anythinghesaidrightnowtosetherstraightwouldhavethateffect.

“ThinkwhatyouwantbutIhavenointentionofgettinginvolvedwithTaylor.Oranyoneelse,

forthatmatter.”

Hissisterstaredathim,deepinthought.Hehatedthatlook.
“Ican’thelpbutthinkshecoulddoalotworse,”Viennasaid.
Hecouldn’thelpbutdisagreecompletely,buthewasdonewiththisconversation.Heshoved

backfromthetable.

“I’mtakingyourcar,Mom.GoingouttofindMarshall.”
Andifhefoundhimkeepingcompanywithabottle,Alexwasgivingseriousthoughttojoining

him.

“Y

OU’REDOING

WHAT

?”KarenFleming,thereceptionistinTaylor ’soffice,utteredthequestionloudly

enoughthatsurelyeveryoneinthenearbycubiclesandofficescouldhear.

“I’mleavingfortheday,”Taylorsaidsoftly,stronglyconsideringreturningtheweddinggift

she’dboughtforthiswomanwhomshe’dlikedupuntilthisverymoment.

“It’squartertillfive,Taylor.Isn’tthataboutwhenyouusuallybreakforlunch?”
MauryPetersonwalkedtowardthemailroom.“What’stheoccasion,Taylor?”heaskedashe

passed.

“IhaveanappointmenttoplanKaren’sfuneral,”Taylormuttered,herfaceundoubtedlybright

pink.Thankgoodnessshehadn’tconfidedtoanyonehereaboutherdate.She’dneverheartheendof
it,andthatwassayingalotforanofficefullofrelativelyantisocialcomputergeeks.

“You’renotgoingtotellmewhat’sgoingon,areyou?”Karensaidatamorereasonable

volume.

“You’reperceptive.”TaylorsmiledandslidhermagnettoOutonthebigwhitestatusboard.

“Haveagoodevening.”

“Oh,you,too,Taylor.”Karen’svoiceoverflowedwithconspiratorialexcitement.“I’llexpect

detailstomorrow,whateveritis.”

“Goodbye,”Taylorsingsongedassheescaped.
Mostpeoplewithadinnerdatewouldleaveworkfifteenminutesearlyinordertogohomeand

taketheirtimegettingreadyfortheouting.Taylor ’sreasoninghadmoretodowithA)avoiding
vomitingintheworkplace,andB)givingherselftimetodefragbeforeJoelshowedupsoshe
wouldn’tembarrassherselfmorethanusualonasocialouting.

Shehurriedoutofthebuildingandacrosstheparkinglottohercar.Onceinside,shestartedthe

engine,blastedthecoolairandnoticedshewasshaking.OveranhourtogobeforeJoelhadsaidhe’d
pickherupandshewasalreadyatthisadvancedstageofpanic.

She’dnevermakeitatthisrate.
Practicalmatters,shecoachedherself.Focusonpracticalmatters.Shepulledoutherphoneand

clickedonthepre-dateto-do/considerlistshe’dmade.Settingherphoneonherthigh,shebackedup
andheadedhome,makingaconsciousefforttobreatheslowly,deeply.

Numberone:chooseoutfit.Check.ThanksonehundredpercenttoVienna,sheplannedtowear

herlongblackdresswiththeempirewaist.Shewasgoingconservativeonhershoeswithsimple
blackthree-inchheeledsandals—oneofherfavoritepairs.Security,inatwistedway,andlordknew
sheneededsecurityofsomekind.

Numbertwo:jewelry.Check,againduetoVienna’sassistance.Orrather,Vienna’sdoing.She’d

pickedoutadelicatesilverchainwithadanglingpurplestoneandsilverearringsthatcoordinated.

Numberthree:conversationtopics.Sub-listsforcarride,dinnerandwaitingforthesymphony

tobegin.Check…

Assheturneddownherstreet,thenauseahadsubsidedmarginally.
WhenshepulledintoherdrivewayandsawAlexthroughthewindow—shirtless—paintingher

living-roomwalls,theintenseneedtohurlincreasedtenfold.

CHAPTERFIFTEEN

DATEWITH

ONDERFUL

mustbetheonlythingthatcouldgetTaylorhomebeforefive.

Alexwasrelievedtohearhercarinthedriveway,though.Bothsheandhissisterhadbeentight-

lippedaboutthedetailsoftonight’sdate,sohisonlyoptionwastostaylatehimselfandseeiftheguy
pickedherupathome.

Thebackdoorclosed.Theshyercat,who’dbeenwatchinghimsuspiciouslyfromthedoorway

allafternoon,dartedintogreetitsmistress,andAlexheardTaylorsetherbagsdownonthetableas
shealwaysdid.Hedippedhisrollerinthepanandsloshedmorepaintonthewall.Waited.

Andwaited.
Hestoppedrollingpainttolistenforaclueastowhatshewasdoing.
Nothing.
Thinkingmaybeshe’dgonebackoutsideordowntothebasementforsomething,headdedone

moreroller-fullofpainttothewall.Whentherollerwasempty,he’dstillheardnothingsohesetit
downontheedgeofthepanandwenttothekitchendoorway.

Taylor ’sbackwastohim.Sheleanedonthecounter,supportingherweightwithherelbows,her

handsoverherface,felineatherfeet.

“Taylor?Areyouokay?”
Sheshookherhead.
Alexshotforward.“What’swrong?”Heleanedoverthecounternexttoher,hishandonher

back.

Sheexpelledalong,shakybreath.Straightened,butavoidedlookingathim.“I’mnotgoing.I

can’tdothis.”

Andherehe’dbeenexpectinghertomarchinsideandrakehimoverthecoalsforhanging

around.She’ddonesowellatkeepingherinsecuritieshiddenlately,hehadn’tanticipatedthisatall.

He’ddonehisbesttohardenhimselftowardherwhenhe’dgoneoutlastFridaynight.He’d

attemptedtopurgeherfromhissystemwithhelpfromhisthree-sheets-to-the-windbrotheranda
bottleofbourbon.He’dsteeledhimselftowatchherwalkoffwiththegeekofherchoosingtonight.

Realityfoundhimflounderinginthefaceofhervulnerableside.
“You’regoing,”hesaid,facingher.
Herlidsremainedlowered,herjawfirm.“Ican’tdoit.”Sheturnedawayfromhimagain.“This

mustseemsostupidtoyou.”

“Notstupid,no.Wasteofyourenergy,yes.Becauseyou’regoing.It’llbeokay.”
Shenarrowedhereyesathim.“WhoareyouandwhathaveyoudonewithAlex?”
“Paintfumes.Comeon.”Hegrabbedherhandwithoutwaitingforheracquiescenceandpulled

herthroughthekitchen,downthehall.Toherroom.

“Whatareyoudoing?”sheasked.
Hewentfortheclosetdoor.Therewasadresshangingontheoutsideofit.“Thiswhatyou’re

wearing?”

“That’swhatI’dplanned.”Uncertaintyfilledhervoice.
Hetookitdownfromthedoor.Slidthedressoffthehangerandtosseditather.Spottingthe

blackheelslineduppreciselysquaretothefrontoftheclosetdoor,hesmiledtohimself.“Iseeyou
haveyourshoesready,too.”

Shealmostgrinnedback.“Myjewelry’slaidoutonthedresser.”
Helikedawomanwhocouldembracehercrazy.
“That’sasmuchasIcando,Scarlet.Ifyouneedhelpgettingthaton,I’llhavetocallVienna.”
“Icandressmyself,thanks.”
Shedidn’tsoundentirelycommittedtothecause,butheheadedforthedoor,pullingitclosed

behindhim.Hepausedandstuckhisheadbackin.“Fiveminutes.Dress,shoes,jewelry.Nodithering
aroundinhereabout‘I’mnotgoing.’”

Shestaredathimasifhe’dgrownasecondhead,andhepulledthedoorallthewayclosed.
Hewenttothekitchen.Maybethethreebottlesofwineintheminirackonthecounterwere

meanttobeadecoration—he’dneverseenTaylordrinkanythingalcoholicathome—buthegrabbed
theredinthemiddle,easilyworkedthecorkoffandhuntedforawineglass.Afterafutilesearch,he
pulledajuiceglassoutandfilledithalfwaywithmerlot.Etiquetteortraditionorwhateverbedamned.

Thedoorwasstillclosedwhenhereturned,soheleanedagainstthewallandwaited.Ten

minuteshadpassed.Eleven.Heknocked.

Sheopeneditafootandshieldedherbodywithit.Hecouldtellshe’dchangedclothes,though,

becauseshe’dgrownbyseveralinchesthankstothosestiltsshe’dsetout.

Hewordlesslymotionedwithhisheadforhertocomeallthewayout.
“MaybeIshouldchangetoblackslacks,”shesaidassheemerged.
Alexswallowedhardandbittheinsideofhismouth.“Youshouldn’tchangetoblackpants.”
Thedressaccentuatedherslenderwaist,gatheringunderherbreastsandmakingthemdamn

toughtoignore.ThenecklinewasmodestbutthecreamyskinthatTaylordidn’tnormallyexposegot
hispulseandhisimaginationworkingdouble-time.Thedelicatependantaroundherneckgavehima
newfascinationwithcollarbones.

Shenervouslygraspedtheloosematerialathersides.“Idon’tweardressesoften…?.”
Hewaitedforhertomeethisgaze,andwhenshefinallydid,thedoubtinherprettygreeneyes

faltered.Foramoment,amutualneedseemedtostretchpalpablybetweenthem.

“Youlook…good,Taylor.”
Damnhehatedthat.
“Thanks.”Themomentpassedasshelookedatthefloorandfidgeted.Checkedherwatch.
“Whatelse?”Hecrossedhisarms,carefulnottospillthewine,andtriedtokeepfromstaringat

her.“Whatelse?”

“What’slefttodo?There’snowayawomancouldbereadyinlessthanfifteenminutes.”
“Oh.Yeah.Hair.Makeup.ToldyouI’mnotgoodatthis.”
“Getinthere,”hesaid.Heheldtheglassofwineouttoherasanafterthought.“Drinkthiswhile

yougetgorgeous.I’mgoingbackouttheretopaint.”Orbreaksomething.

“Alex.”
“Yeah?”
“Thanksfor…whateverthisisyou’retryingtodo,butyoucangohome.Really.”
“Nicetry,”hesaid.“Paintfumeswearingoff,though.”
Heexpectedhertoargue—shewasnothingifnotpersistent—butshelookedatherwatchand

shookherhead,distracted,beforebrushingpasthimtowardthebathroom.

“W

ANTMETOGETTHAT

?”Alexcalledwhenthedoorbellranghalfanhourlater.

“No!”Taylorcamerushingouttothelivingroomandhewonderedhowsheavoidedtwistingan

ankleinthoseshoes.“Iwantyoutodisappear,”shehissedassheheadedtowardthedoor.

“JusttellhimI’mthehiredhelp.”
Shestoppedatthedoorandstaredathim.Alexsmiled,tryingtoactasthoughhedidn’thavethe

overpoweringurgetoknocktheguy’steethdownhisthroatbeforeheevenmethim.

“Pleasebehaveyourself,”shewhispered.Shedidn’twaitforhimtorespond—justaswell

becausehecouldn’tmakeanypromises.Sheturnedaway,stoodtwoinchesfromthedoorwithher
foreheadpressedagainstit,andinhaleddeeplybeforeopeningit.

“Taylor,”afaceless,unimpressivevoicesaidfromthefrontstoop.“Youlookbeautiful.”
Alexclenchedhisjawharderanddippedtheroller.
“Thankyou,Joel,”shesaid,steppingbacktolethiminside.
Alexdidn’thavetolooktoknowshewassmilingwidelyattheflattery.Beautiful?Wasthatthe

besttheguycoulddo?

“Imadereservationsatanewplacedowntownthatspecializesinlocalorganicfood.Ihope

that’sokay.”

Andtherewasthehealth-consciousfromherlist.Suck-up.
“It’sperfect.Joel,thisismyfriendAlexWorth.He’sdoingsomeworkaroundthehouseforme.

Alex,JoelCavelli.”

Alexfinallyturnedandgotalookattheguy.HewasthreeorfourinchesshorterthanAlexand

asscrawnyasateenager.Hishairwasthinning—he’dbehalf-baldintwoyears,max.Inhisfavor,he
didn’thaveapocketprotectorortapeonhisglasses.Hiswardrobewasnondescriptbutneat…wasn’t
thatanothercriterionontheholylist?

“Ijustneedtograbmypurse,”Taylorsaid,apparentlyconvincedthetwomencouldplaynicely

forsixtyseconds.Shewalkedouttothekitchen,herdeath-wishshoesclickingonthehardfloors.

TheguywasalittleoverzealousashetookthreestepstowardAlex,handextended.
Alexnoddedinanattempttobepolite.“Handsarecoveredwithpaint,”hesaid.
“HaveyouknownTaylorlong?”Joelasked.
“Mostofherlife.”
“Soyou’re…ahandymanbytrade?”
“Iflyhelicoptersandblowupal-Qaedabytrade.”
Joel’seyeswidenedasTaylorcamebackin.Shesmiledatherdate,oblivioustothetensionthat

buzzedbetweenthemen.

“Itwasnicetomeetyou,Alex,”Joelsaid.
“Likewise,”helied.
ThecomputerdudeheldthescreendooropenforTaylor.Asshesteppedoutside,sheturned

towardJoeltothankhim.Alexhappenedtolookatjusttherightmomenttoseeit—hereyescame
aliveastheyhadn’tin…forever.

Hesatdownhardonthesecondstepoftheladder,realizingwhatajackasshewas.
He’dbeensoself-involved,he’ddisregardedthemostimportantthing:whatmadeTaylorhappy.

Judgingbythatlookjustnow,ithadnothingtodowithhimandeverythingtodowithJoelwhat’s-his-
name.

CHAPTERSIXTEEN

HENYOUSPENTASMUCH

timealoneasTaylordid,youtendedtogetprettyskilledatkeepingthebadstuff

toyourself.Embarrassments.Disappointments.Thistime,however,itwasastruggletoactasif
nothingwaswronginfrontofAlex.

Thepasttwoweekshadflownbyinanexcitingblur—untilyesterday.Sheshookherhead

againstthethoughtofit.

Thismorning,Taylorhaddeliberatelyhadthecarstereoonfromthemomentshe’dpickedAlex

up.Ithadworkedtokeepconversationbetweenthemtoaminimumfortheentireridetothehome-
improvementstore.Now,astheyenteredthestore,shemadeabeelinetothebathdepartment,
dodgingaroundtheSaturday-morningthrongs,justwantingthiserrand—theday,asamatteroffact
—overwith.

“Yo,Scarlet,”Alexholleredafterher.“What’swiththewoman-on-a-missiondrill?”
“Sorry.”Sheslowedbutdidn’tlookathim.“IguessI’mjustovertheromanceofthehome

projects.”

Alexhadbeenchippingawayatthelistforseveralweeksandshecouldnolongeravoidthe

loomingprospectofputtingherhouseupforsaleandhuntingforanewone.

Ofcourse,she’dbeenquitehappilyotherwiseoccupiedlatelyandit’dbeeneasytoprocrastinate.

SheandJoelhadseeneachotheracoupleoftimesfordinnerordrinksonweeknights,thengoneout
ontheweekendstomovies,tofarmers’markets.They’demaileddaily,slowlygettingtoknoweach
otherbetter.

Taylorwouldn’tcallitahot,passionateaffair,butthatwasn’twhatshewaslookingfor.He’d

kissedherafewtimesandithadbeennice.Butshewasn’tinahurrytotakeitanyfurtherrightnow,
andneitherwashe.

Hewasperfectforher.
Sheranthroughthelistinherhead—again.BecauseitsatisfiedhertorevisitjusthowidealJoel

was.Therewasn’tasinglecriterionthathedidn’tmeet.

Thiscurrentthing—itwasjustasmallbumpintheroad.Nothingtogetupsetabout,andreally,

shewasn’tupset.Justdisappointed.

“Countertopsfirst?”Alexasked,thankfullynotseemingtonoticeherpreoccupation.“Flooring?

Tubs?”

“Whichever,”shesaid,unabletocaremuchaboutanyofit.
“Let’sgettheshowertakencareoffirst.They’rethisway.”Hepointedtoanaisleinthebackand

theywalkedtowardit.

Halfwaythere,astheycrossedthewideperpendicularaisle,Taylorglancedtoherleftandfroze.
Herheadfeltlight—andnotinagoodway—andherchestseemedasifitwasfillingupwith

water,takingawayherabilitytobreathe.

Joelstoodthreerowsawayatoneoftheend-capdisplays,withashort,slightlychunkybrunette.

Hisarmrestedatherwaistandhislipsbrushedherear.

Atoncepanickedandheartbroken,Taylorrushedforwardtothesafetyoftheshoweraisle

beforeAlexcouldfigureoutherworldhadjustcomecrashingdownaroundher.Unfortunately,Joel

lookedherwayjustbeforeshewashomesafe.

Bileburnedherthroatandshetrulythoughtshemightemptyherstomachrightthereinoneof

thedisplaytubs.Air.Sheneededoxygen.Sheheldontotheedgeoftheclosesttub,whichstoodon
end,andconcentratedoninhalingdeeplyandevenly.Alexwasabouttwomodelsdown,inspectingthe
showerasiftheworlddependedonthisdecision.

Taylorcouldn’tcarelessaboutashower.
AclerkapproachedAlexthenandtheybegandiscussingoptions,installation,whoknewwhat

else.

Assoonasshewassureshecouldmakeittothefrontofthestorewithoutembarrassingherself,

shecaughtAlex’seye.“I’mgoingtothecar.Don’tfeelwell.Takeyourtime.”

Itwasprobablycrappytoleavehimtodoherjob,butshehadtogetoutofthere.Immediately.
Shemadethemonumentalbutunavoidablemistakeofcheckingtheenddisplayagainonherway

past.Andagain,Joelnoticedher.Sherushedawaywithoutacknowledginghim.

Thebrightsunnearlyblindedherassheexitedthestore,butthefreshairhelpedmarginally.

UntilsheheardJoelcallhernamerightbehindher.

No.Nothere.Shedidn’twanttofaceuptohimintheparkinglot,withcarsdrivingbyand

peoplegawking.Withoutconsciousthought,shetookaleftturndownthesidewalk,towardthelawn
andgardendepartment.

“Taylor,waitup.”Joel’sfootstepsweren’tfarbehindher.
Shehadnoescape,soshestoppedatthefirstpatiotableondisplay.Heldontoittosteady

herself.

“Taylor,I’msorry,”Joelsaid,comingupbesideher.
Shemovedtotheside,awayfromhim,keepingherhandsonthetabletop.
“Ineedtoexplaintoyou,”hesaid.
“Itdidn’tlooklikethere’smuchtoexplain.”Vaguelyconsciousofothershoppersnearby,she

loweredherselftooneofthepatiochairsasiftotestitscomfort.

“That’sSheila,”hesaid,takingthechairacrossfromher.“Myex.TheoneItoldyouabout.”
Wasn’tthiscozy?JusttwopeoplesittingoutintheSaturday-morningsun,discussingthisman’s

ex-girlfriendasifitwerenothingmorethanthecolorofseatcushionsandumbrellas.

“Yousaidyoucouldn’tcomewithmetotheweddingtonightbecauseyouweregoingoutof

town.LastIchecked,thisispartofthemetroarea.”

Helookeddown.Leanedforwardnervously.“I’msorryIsaidthat,Taylor.Whathappenedisthat

SheilaandIstartedtalkingthisweek.Tentatively.Wetalkedaboutmaybegettingbacktogetherbutit
wasnothingconcrete.”

“That’snice.Congratulations.”Herchestfeltasthoughsomethingwascompressingit.
“Ididn’thidethatshewasstillimportanttome.”
Butshe’dblownitoffbecausetherelationshipwasover.Orsohe’dsaid.
“Shesawusatthesymphonythatnightofourfirstdate,”hecontinued,eventhoughTaylor

didn’treallywanttohear.Therewasnowayshecouldstandupandwalkawayatthismoment,
though.“Iguessthatgottoher…”

Sheregisteredwhathewassaying.“Youknewshewasthere,didn’tyou?That’swhoyoukept

staringat.”

Henodded.“Inevermeanttohurtyou,Taylor.Ilikeyou…”
Anewwaveofnauseastaggeredher,would’veknockedheronherbuttifshewasn’talready

sittingdown.Aparticularlypainfulideaoccurredtoher.“Tellmeonething,Joel.Behonest.Didyou
askmeouthopingtomakeherjealous?Isthatwhyyoutookmetothesymphony?”

Hisgazeflittedaway.Wouldn’tmeethersnomatterhowlongshestaredathim.

“IaskedyououtbecauseIlikedtalkingtoyou.”
“Andthesymphony?Didyouknowaheadoftimeshe’dbethere?”
“Yes.ButI…”Hedidn’tfinishthesentenceandhedidn’tlookather.
Taylorrealizedagapingoversightatthatmoment—she’dneglectedtoaddhonestytoherlist.
Shestood,unseeing,blindedbytearsandhumiliation.“Bettergetbacktoher,”shemanagedto

saybeforeshewalkedofftohercar.

She’dnosoonerclosedthepassengerdoor—nowaywasshecapableofdrivinginthis

condition—thanAlexopenedthedriver ’sside.

“Whatthehell?”hesaidashegotin.Thenshefelthisgazeonher.Hisconfusionwastangible.

“Taylor,whathappened?Isawwhat’s-his-nameoutthere.Whatdidhedotoyou?”

That’sallittook—Alex’sconcern,thewayhewasautomatically,unquestioninglyonherside

withoutknowingwhathadhappened—andthetearsstartedfalling.Sheshookherheadandcovered
herburningface.

“Canwejustgo?”sheaskedwhenshecouldgetthewordsout.
Hestaredatherforanotherfewseconds.Touchedherthighlightly.“Youhavethekeys.”
Taylorsqueezedhereyesshutanddriedherface.Nodded.Shetookherpursefrombesideher

ontheseatanddugthekeysout.

Alexstartedthecarwithoutfurtherquestionanddrovetoherhouseinsilence.Shewould’ve

preferredforhimtodrivetohishouseandgetout,butshedidn’tthinkofthatuntilthecarwasinher
driveway.

Sheclimbedoutbeforehecouldquestionheragainandheadedinside.Shewenttoherroomto

takehershoesoff.Hide.HopelikecrazyAlexdidn’tfollowher.Maybehejustwantedtorunhome
forsomeexercise.

Ormaybenot.
Sheheardthebackdoorshutanddecidedactionwasthebestthing.Thehousecoulduseagood

cleaning.Anotherone.IfthatscaredAlexoff,somuchthebetter.

Sheslippedouttothehalllinenclosetwhereshekeptsomeofhercleaningsuppliesandpicked

upadustclothandthebottleofwoodcleaner.BeforeAlexappeared,sheduckedbackintoherroom
andclearedoffherdressertodustit.

WhenAlexsaunteredinandplunkedhimselfdownonthedecorativeantiquechairinthecorner,

sheignoredtheneedtotellhimthechairwasn’tverysturdy.Managedtoignorehim,aswell.She
wentovertheentiresurfaceofthedressertwice.Shetookhertimerearrangingeverythingonceshe
wassatisfied.

“Youaboutdone?”Alexsaid.
“Donewithwhat?”Stretchingoutthechoresforseveralhourswasadistinctpossibility.An

appealingone.

“Avoiding.”Heshiftedandthechaircreaked.“Talktome,Scarlet.I’mnotleavinguntilyoutell

mewhetheryouneedsomeonetogobeathimup.”

Hewasattemptingtogethertolightenupbutitwasn’tworking.
Shewentaroundthebedontheoppositesideoftheroomfromhimandattackedthenightstand.

Beforeshewasevenhalfwaydone,shesatheavilyonthemattress.Alexwasn’tgoingtoletitgo.
Wouldn’twalkawayuntilshetoldhimwhathadhappened.

“YesterdayJoelcanceledonmefortheweddingtonight.Hesaidhewasgoingoutoftown.”
“Hedidn’tlookveryoutoftown,”Alexsaid.Herbackwastohimbutsheheardhimlean

forwardinthesqueaky,delicatechair.

“Apparentlyhisdefinitionofoutoftownissomethingsimilartogettingbacktogetherwithhis

ex.”

AlexletlooseacrudebutpoeticstreamofswearwordsinJoel’shonor.Inatwistedway,it

tuggedatsomethinginsideTaylor,madeherfeellessalone.Hestoodandcamearoundtoherside,
satonthebedafewinchesawayfromher.

“He’sajerk,Taylor.Hedoesn’tdeserveyou.”
“Idon’tthinkhe’squiteseeingwhataprizeIam,”shesaidsadly.
“That’sthefirstclueheisn’tgoodenough.”
“Somethinglikethat.”Shewasfarfromconvincedofanythingofthesort.
“I’mokay,Alex.”Shestoodandputspacebetweenthem.“Weweren’treallyexclusivelydating

oranything.Iwasjust…surprised.Don’tfeellikeyouneedtobabysitme.”

“Iwasgoingtoworkonyourbathroom.”
“Yeah.Iguesswe’lldothatanotherday.Sorrytowasteyourtime.”Shewalkedovertothe

windowandadjustedthecurtainssotheyweresymmetrical,waitingforhimtoleave.

“Whattime’sthewedding?”
Thecurtainontheleftwouldn’tfallquiterightsoshefoughtwithit.“Six-thirty.”
“I’llpickyouupatsix,”hesaid,standing.
Taylorwhirledaroundtosearchhisfaceandgaugehissincerity.“No.Absolutelynot.”
“I’llcleanup,”hesaid,actinginsulted.
“It’sabigformalto-do,Alex.You’dhateit.”
“PrettysureIhaveasuitinmycloset.Itshouldfitfine.”
Sheranoutofargumentsbecause,lord,thethoughtofhiminasuit,andofbeingtheluckyone

holdingontohisarm,wasimpossibletoresist.Evenknowingitwouldonlybeforonenight.

“Whywouldyoudothat?”Shecouldn’thelpaskinghim.
Hestudiedherforseveralseconds,andherheartpoundedsohardshesworehecouldhearit.

“BecauseIknowhowmuchyouwanttogotoaweddingwithadate.”

Taylorblinked.Forcedagrin.
Shehadn’ttrulythoughtitwasbecausehe’dwantedtobewithher,andafterthemorningshe’d

alreadyhad,shefiguredthisshouldjustbouncerightoffher.Itdidn’t,though.Itstung.

Thatwasokay,shetoldherself.Shedecidedthenandthereshewouldtakewhatheofferedand

pretendforonenightshewasn’tsomeone’sobligation.

CHAPTERSEVENTEEN

ANCINGWITH

AYLOR

allnighthadbeenhell.

Touchingher.Breathingher.Catchingprivateglimpsesofcreamyskinbeneaththenecklineof

hergown.

He’dtriedtotellhimselfhewasonlytheretodoTaylorafavor,triedtotwistitintosomewayto

honorQuinn,butheknewbetter.Quinndidn’thaveadamnthingtodowiththereasonAlexhad
cateredtoherallnight,spoiledher.Quinndid,however,haveeverythingtodowithwhyhewas
tryinglikethedeviltokeepheratarm’slength.

Followingherinsideherhousenowat—hecheckedhiswatch—quarteraftermidnightwas

probablyadumbidea.Butthey’dorderedpizzawithinfiveminutesofdrivingawayfromthe
weddingreception,bothofthemstarvingafterpickingatstrange,unidentifiable“gourmet”creations
allevening.Alexwasprettyadventurouswhenitcametofoodbuthehadn’tseenanythingquitelike
thestuffthathadbeenservedtonight.SomeofthedisheshadmadehimlongforMREs,themilitary’s
versionofcombat-readyTVdinners.

Atthebackdoor,heheldouthishandforherkeyandunlockedit.“Pizzashouldbeherewithin

five.”

“I’mgoingtochangeclothesbeforeImovethewrongwayandsplitthisthingopen,”Taylor

said.

Thisthingwasalongmidnight-bluedresswiththickstrapsandamodestnecklineinfront,but

thatdippedtothemiddleofherbackandlookedamazingonher.Hellyes,itwastimeforherto
change,preferablyintosomethingfrumpyandold.

Whenshedisappearedintoherroom,Alexremovedhistieandtosseditonthecounter.
Taylorpaddedbackintothekitchenafewminuteslater,stillinthedressbutminusthestilts.

“Goodthingyoucameinside,otherwiseI’dbestucksleepinginthis.Wouldyoumind?”

SheturnedherbacktohimandAlex’smouthwentdry.Holdingherhairoutoftheway,she

backedastepcloserandwaited.Hepushedasidethematerialthathidthetinyzipperpullandfumbled
around,hisfingerssuddenlyclumsy.Atlasthemanagedtograspthesliverofmetalandeaseitdown.
Anddown.Hiseyeswidenedandhewonderedwherethezipperwasgoingtostop.

Rightinthemiddleofherass,asitturnedout.Ifhewasagentleman,hewould’vetriedharder

nottogetaglimpseofthewhitesilkwithpinkpolkadotsbeneath.Buthe’dneveroncebeenaccused
ofbeingagentleman.

“There.”Hisvoicedidn’tquiteworkright.
“Thankyou,”shesaiddemurelyasshewalkedawayagain.ThatwasTaylor,primandproperto

theend,evenafterflashinghimherpanties.

AlexhadabstainedfromdrinkingalleveningsoTaylorcouldenjoytheweddingwithout

worryingaboutdrivinghome.Now,though,hewentstraighttothefridgeandtookoutoneofthe
beershe’dleftthere.Hetookthecapoffanddownedhalfofitatonce.

Pizzaandhome.Thatwastheplan.

AYLORHADDRUNKONLY

enoughwineandchampagnetokeepherconfidenceupthroughouttheevening.

HersenseswerefullyfunctioningandthecoolairthathitherbacksidewhenAlexunzippedhermade
hershiver,butnotbecauseoftheloweredtemperature.Itwasmoreduetothefantasies—delusions,
really—she’dallowedherselfallnight.ThatAlexwashers.Thathewaswithherbecausehewanted
tobe.Thattheywouldcomehometogetheranddomorethaneatpizza.

Nowthattheywereatherhouse,shefeltlikeCinderellaaftermidnight.Backtoherinsecure

self.Orperhapsshewasevenmoreinsecurethanusualbecauseofthedirectionshe’dallowedher
thoughtstogothroughouttheevening.

Shebrushedherhair,washedoffthegodforsakenmakeupthatmadeherfeelslimy,andchanged

intoyogapantsandatanktop.Comfybutnottoorevealing.

Whenshereturnedtothekitchen,Alexwasstandingwithhisbacktothecounter,leaningagainst

it.Shirt-sleevesrolledup,topbuttonsundone,hebelongedinamagazineadvertisement.He’dshaved
tonight,andthoughshelikedhisoftenshadowedchin,shewastransfixedbyhissmoothskin.
Wonderedwhatitwouldbeliketotouchit.Hiseyeswereonherasshecrossedtheroomtothepizza
boxonthecounter.Shetriedtoconcentrateonservingherselfbuthekeptstaring.

“What?”sheasked,wonderingifshe’dmissedablotchofmascaraorsomething.
Heshookhishead,nearlysmiledandtookaswigofhisbeer.He’dbeenbusywhileshewas

changing—therewasalreadyanemptybottlebythesink.Adrinkseemedlikeanexcellentideatoher,
butlikelyfordifferentreasons.GodknewAlexwasn’tnervousaroundher.Wasn’thavingthesame
R-ratedthoughtsshewas.

Shepulledoutthebottleofredwinehe’dopenedbeforeherfirstdatewithJoelandpoured

herselfaglass.

Theybothhelpedthemselvestoslicesofpizza.Taylorhoistedherselfupontothecountertoeat.

Maybetheevening’salcoholwasaffectinghermorethanshe’dthoughtbecauseshe’dalwaysbeenthe
sit-at-the-tabletype.

Theyatewithoutspeakingatfirst,bothofthemshovinginthepizzaasfastaspossible,thenthey

graduatedtosmalltalkaboutthewedding,thebride,alittleaboutthedynamicsofTaylor ’soffice.
Whenshewasdoneeating,shesetherplateaside,knowinghe’dbeleavingsoon.Wishinghewanted
tostay.TheideaofbeinginthisemptyhouseafteranearlyperfectnightinAlex’scompany
depressedher.

“Alex,”shesaid,takingasipofmerlot.“Thankyou.”
Hestuffedthelastbiteofpizzainhismouthandwrinkledhisforehead.“Forwhat?”heasked

whenhe’dswallowed.

“Forgoingtonight.Dancingwithme,eventhegoofysongs.Beingokaywithbeingstuckwith

mewhentherewereplentyofprettysinglegirlsaround.”

Hewipedhishandsonanapkinandtosseditinthetrash.“Iwasn’tstuckwithyou,Scarlet.”
Shestaredatherhandsasshefoldedandunfoldedthemrepeatedly.“Iknowitwasn’ttheway

youwantedtospendyourSaturdaynight.”

Hesethisbottledownhardonthecounter.“Whydoyoudothat?”
Theharshnessinhisvoicemadehersnapherheadupandlookathim.“Dowhat?”
“You’resodamnhardonyourself.”
“Iliketothinkofitasbeingrealistic.”
“No.”Hepushedhimselfawayfromthecounter.“Realisticisthatyou’reahellofaperson.”
Taylorinhaleddeeply.Herthroatfeltasifatennisballwasstuckinit.“Thanks.TellthattoJoel.”
“Iwouldn’twastemybreath.Hemaybeintelligentbuttheguy’sdumberthanaMarine.Howcan

Igetyoutoseehisopinionisworthless?”

“Maybeifitwasjusthimyoucould,butit’sbeenkindofingrainedformostofmylife.”She

loweredherselffromthecounterandsetherplateinthesink.“I’mgoingoutsidetogetsomeair.”

HESADNESSIN

AYLOR’SEYES

asshesliddownfromthecounterfueledthestorminsideAlex.He’dlike

nothingbetterthantotrackdowntheloserwho’dscrewedheroverandshovehisfistdowntheguy’s
throat.Theonlythingthejerkwasgoodforwasprovingherlistcompletelyuseless.

Battlingwiththeviolenturgewashissoftspotforthewomanwho’djustwalkedouttheback

doorwithhershoulderssagging.Heknewwithoutadoubtshedidn’tbelievewhathe’dsaid,butwhat
thehellcouldhedotochangehermind?Andhewasinnopositiontodosoevenifhedidknowhow.

Heputtheleftoverpizzaintherefrigeratorandcleanedtherestoftheirmess.Turnedoutthe

overheadkitchenlight.Thoughtaboutstartingthewalkhome.

Shakinghishead,hewentoutthebackdoortofindTaylor.
Thedeckwasempty.Hecheckedtoseethathercarwasstillinthegarageanditwas.Thenhe

sawmotionatthefarendoftheyard.Withouthesitation,heheadeddownthestepstowardthebench
swingonthelawn.

Taylorwaslyingonitonherback,herkneespointingtothesky.Theswingrockedslightly,

almostimperceptibly,asifthebreezecarriedit.Alexloweredhimselftothegrassandstretchedout.
Staredthroughthedarktreebranchesabovetothefewstarsvisiblefromthemiddleofthecity.

“You’llgetgrassstainsonyourwhiteshirt,”shesaid.
“Ifthat’stheworstthingthathappenstoday,I’llcountmyselflucky.”Hesilentlysworeat

himself,rememberingshe’dhadanall-aroundshittymorningwhenshe’dfoundherguywithanother
woman.

Minutespassedandneitherofthemspoke.Theswingrocked,thecricketschirped.Alexbeganto

wonderifshe’ddriftedofftosleep.

“IknowyouthinkI’mhypersensitive,”shesaidoutofnowhere.“It’skindofathingwithme.

FeelinglikeI’veneverbeengoodenough.”

“You’vealwaysbeenthebestofthebest.Brains.Alistofachievementsamilelong.Youhavea

killercareer—”

“I’mnottalkingaboutthatstuff,”sheinterrupted.“Ilovemyjob.KnowIhaveadecentbrain.

It’s…Idon’tknow…overall,Iguess.Wholeperson.”

Heruseofdecenttodescribehermindmadehimsmileinspiteoftheseriousnessofthe

conversation.ShehadadecentbrainlikeAfricahadadecentdesert.

“YouknowmydadleftuswhenIwaslittle.Yoursdid,too,didn’the?”sheasked.
“WhenIwaseleven.”
“Didyoueverwonderifitwasbecauseyouweren’tgoodenough?Like,ifyou’dbeenalittle

smarteroralittlemorehelpfularoundthehouse,hewould’velikeditenoughtostickaround?”

Henoddedeventhoughshecouldn’tseehim,herwordshittinganinsecurityhe’dburieddeep.
“BetweenthatandthewayIwastreatedatschool…Iwould’vedoneanythingtohavealesssuper

brainandbeamorenormalkid.”

“Kidsareharsh.”Thatwasanunderstatementfortheteasingandbullyingshe’dundergone.Kids

hadbeendownrightugly.

“MaybeIshould’vebeensmartenoughtoknowthingswouldbeokaybutIneveronceinmy

childhoodfeltokay.”

Hesatupandrestedhisarmsonhisbentknees.“You’reanadultnow.Adamnsuccessfulone.”
“Insomeways.”
Itwaswhatsheleftunsaidthathungpowerfullybetweenthem.Taylorbelievedeverythingshe

wassaying,regardlessofwhatheorothersthoughtofher.

Shesatup,too,theswingcreakingsoftlywithhermovement.
“I’venevertoldanybodythis…”shehesitated“…notevenQuinn.Everytimeourmomlefton

oneofherresearchtrips,Iwentthroughthishorribleanxietything.Iknewtherewasalwayssome
dangerinvolved,anditscaredmetodeaththatshe’dbelikemydadandnevercomeback.”

He’dbeenwellawarethatMrs.McCabe’s,aprofessorattheuniversity,frequentlytraveledout

ofthecountry,usuallytoSouthAmerica,todoresearchinthefieldofwomen’sstudies.She’dusually
goforacoupleofweeksatatime,leavingQuinnandTaylorwitharandomcollege-agedbabysitter.
WhenheandQuinnhadbeenintheirearlyteens,theironlyinterestwaswhetherthesitterwasa
female,andifso,howgood-lookingshewas.There’dneverbeenahintthatTaylorhadsomuch
awfulstuffgoingoninsideher.

“Thatwasprovenalegitimatefear,I’dsay.”JudyMcCabe,hadbeenkilledinColombiaor

Brazilorsometension-filledplacedownthere.It’dbeenafterheandQuinnjoinedthemilitary,after
TaylorhadbeenatMITforacoupleofyears.Aftershe’dturnedeighteen,heremembered,because
Quinnhadbeenconcernedaboutherandshe’dreassuredhimshewaslegallyanadultandcouldtake
careofherself.

“IalwayswonderedhowIcouldbeenoughtohertomakeherstayhome.”
Hemoveduptotheswingnexttoher,tookherhandinhis.“Yourmomlovedyou.There’sno

questioninmymind.”

“Oh,Iknow.Now,anyway.”
Itkilledhimtoimaginewhatshemusthavegonethroughallthoseyears.Thebullyingandthe

schoolthinghadbeenbadenough,andheandQuinnhadmadeittheirmissiontoshieldherfromitas
muchastheycould.

HeandQuinnhadmetinseventhgrade,whenthey’dhitjuniorhigh.Everydayafterschool,

Quinnhadbeatenapathtotheelementaryschooltowalkhissisterhome.Beingatypicalpreteenjerk,
AlexhadribbedQuinnaboutit.Once.Quinnhadhauledoffandpunchedhim.InAlex’swarped
twelve-year-oldexistence,thathadgeneratedrespectandthey’dbeenbestfriendseverafter.Insteadof
razzinghisbuddyforlookingoutforhislittlesister,he’dadoptedthecausehimself.

They’dthoughttheywereallkindsofheroicforsettingthelittlegrade-schoolcreeps—andlater

thejuniorhighones—straightwhenitcametoTaylor,andyet,they’dbarelyscratchedthesurfaceof
whatshe’dgonethrough.

Herrevelationnownearlyburnedhisinsidesoutwithregret.Imaginingwhathadbeengoingon

inTaylor ’smindmadehimwanttoholdheruntilherdemonsweregone,buthesettledforjust
continuingtoholdontoherhand.Heknewherwellenoughtorealizesympathywoulddonothing
butpushheraway.Probablycauseacleaningfrenzyattwointhemorning.

“That’ssomeheavyshitgoingoninsideofyou,”hesaid.
Shemadeanoiseinresponse,halflaugh,halfscoff,andremovedherhandfromhis.
“Idon’tknowwhyItoldyouallofthat.”Nowshesoundedembarrassed.
“WishIknewhowtomakeyouseewhatacoolchickyouare.”Hekepthistonelight,butdamn,

therewasnothinghewantedmorethantodoexactlythat.

Shelaughedquietlyagain,andthistimeitsoundedalittlemorereal.“IwishkickingJoel’sbutt

wouldactuallysolvemyproblems.”

“Yousureitwon’t?”Hestoodabruptly,causingtheswingtoswayunevenly,andtookseveral

stepsawayfromher.ThethoughtofthescrawnyloserhadAlexclenchinghisfist.Thegood-for-
nothingjackwaddeserveditforwhathe’ddonetoTaylor.Sheshouldbetreatedlikeaprincess,not
liedto.

Hestaredoffintotheneighbor ’syard,intothedarknight,torn.HewantedtoshowTaylorhow

amazingshewas,tomakeherseeherselfthewayhesawher.Toholdher,makeherforgeteverything
else,everyoneelse.ButhewouldultimatelyendupjustlikethecomputerdorkbecauseAlexcouldn’t
bewhatsheneeded.Hewasn’therlong-termkindofguy.Hell,whowashekidding?Wasn’therkind
ofguyatall.

Whenheturnedbackaround,hefoundherinchesawayfromhim,andhemomentarily

wonderedhowrustyhe’dgottenthatshecouldapproachwithouthimhearingher.Allrational
thoughtsslippedawayasshetookahesitantstepevencloser.Tentativelytouchedhischestandranher
handsupward,aroundhisneck.Shepressedhercheekintohischestandhisarmsinstinctivelycame
upandaroundher.HoldingTaylorfeltlikethemostnaturalthingintheuniverse.Hepulledher
closerandhisbodywentwherehe’dtriedtokeephismindfromgoing.

Hewantedthiswoman.Wantedtoholdher,protecther.Makeallthebadstuffgoaway,ifonly

foranight.Hewantedtomakeherbelieveshewassexy,beautiful,insideandout.

Andhecouldacknowledgethatagoodfiftypercentofthatwasselfish,aswell.Whichwaswhy

hewould’veputspacebetweenthem—ifshehadn’tpeeredupathimandclumsilyrisenonhertoes
withtheveryclearintentionofkissinghim.

Hewastoast.
Hemetherhalfway,alltracesofsympathyandsadnessimplodingwhentheirlipstouched.There

wasonlyheat,likefire,arcingbetweenthem.Heatandtoomuchspace.

Hewoundhishandsaroundher,overher,upanddownherback.Slidthemfartherdowntothe

softnessofherassanddrewherevencloser,leavingnoquestionaboutwhatshedidtohim.

Again,shesurprisedhimwiththedepthofherresponse,herhandsinhishair,herslenderbody

pressedintohim.Thelittlesoundsthatcamefromherthroat,needygaspsforair,turnedhiminside
out.

Hishandswerealloverher,underhertank,onherbaby-softskin.Herapplescentenveloped

him.

Helosthismindalittlebit,letallthoughtsdisappearandmatchedherintensity.Thiswasn’tthe

lonelylittlegirlwho’dtwistedhisheartupminutesearlier,wasn’ttheinsecurewomanwho’devoked
hissympathyorhisprotectiveurges.ItwasjustTaylor.Andrightnow,shewaseverything.

Alexslippedhishandsbacktoherassandliftedheruphisbody.Shewrappedherlegsaround

him,slidingintohimandfittinglikethelastpieceinapuzzle.Needpoundedthroughhim.Hewason
thevergeoflosingeverylastshredofcontrol.Hebrokethecontactoftheirlips,forcedhimselfto
breatheinthecoolairandattemptedtograspontoanyhintofreasoninghehadleftinhim.There
wasn’tmuch.

“Taylor,”hesaid,hisvoicehusky.“Wecan’tdothis.”

CHAPTEREIGHTEEN

AYLORNIPPEDNEEDILY

athislips,eachtouchkillinghim.“It’sonenight.”Shebreathedthewordsintohis

ear,thewhisperofherbreathhavingacrazyeroticeffectonhim.“Iknow.Iwantonenightwithyou,
Alex.”

Maybeasaintcouldhavewalkedawayfromher,buthewasaboutasfarfromasaintasaguy

couldget.

“Yousure?”heforcedout.
Sheansweredbykissingherwayalonghisjawbacktohislips,teasingthembrieflybefore

kissinghimfullon.Shepressedhertongueinsidehismouthconfidently,asifknowingshewasabout
twosecondsfrombeingabletogetanythingandeverythingshewantedfromhim.“Absolutelysure,”
shesaidbetweenkisses.

Thatwasalltheconfirmationheneededandthensome.Hewalkedtowardthedeckwithher

wrappedaroundhim,kissingher,nearlystumblingoverabumpintheground.Laughingwithher,
theirbreathmixing,theirbodiestwistingtogether.Hemadehiswayupthedecksteps,obliviousto
anypaininhisleg—thelastbodyparthewasconcernedwithjustnow.

Hecarriedhertoherroom,toherbed,setherdownasheeasedontopofher.Something

movedonthemattresstotheleftofthem,startlingthecrapoutofhim.

“Elanor,”Taylorsaid,laughing.
Heheardthefelineraceoutoftheroomanddownthehallthenquicklyforgotaboutit.
Taylorinsistentlypulledhimtoherbytheneck.Devouredhislipswithhers.God,thiswoman

madehimwildwithneed.

Shepulledhisshirtoutofhispants,unbuttonedit.Sliditoffhimonearmatatime.Sheranher

handsoverhisbarechest,thenwoundthemaroundhimandagainpulledhimtoher.

Heneededtofeelherflesh,tasteherskin.Hesatupinanawkwardstraddle,hisleftlegangled

outslightlysincehestillcouldn’tsupportalotofweightinthatposition.Hisconcernwasfleeting,
though,ashetookTaylor ’stankoffher.Shearchedupwardsohecouldunfastenherbraandshe
tosseditoverthesideofthebed.

Faintlightcameinaroundtheedgesofthecurtains,andhefeastedhiseyesonhermilkyskin,

herperfectbreasts.Heranhishandsovereveryinchofherbeforereadjustinghislegandbending
overhertotasteher.

Hetookherbreastintohismouth,suckledher,teasedher.Firstone,thentheother,untilTaylor

pressedherlowerbodyinsistentlyintohim.Hepeeledherpantsandpantiesdownherlegsasoneand
threwthemaside.

Thesightofher,nakedinthemoonlight,herdarkredhairsplayedonherpillow—holyhell,he

couldnevergetenoughofher.Hepressedhislipstohernavelandkissedhiswayslowlyupherbody,
thenshiftedslightlytotheside,brushinghisfingersalongherinnerthigh.Whenhegrazedhercore,
sheeagerlyliftedintohistouchandmoaned.

“Youblowmymind,”hewhispered,nippingandkissingherear,allthewhilestillexploringher.

Learningwhatdroveherwild.Hewatchedhereyesmeethis,thenfluttershutasshelethisnameslip
out.

AYLORHADNEVERRESPONDED

sowildlytoaman’stouch.Notthatshehadmuchexperience,butinstincttold

herthathadnothingtodowithherreaction.

Sheshouldfeelshyer,trytoholdherselfback,butthiswasAlex.Hedidamazingthingstoher

andshewasjustgoingtogowithit.Asifshehadanychoice—inagoodway.Hetouchedherbodyas
ifheknewallthesecretsofit,onesshe’dneverrealizedherself.

Whenhekissedhiswaydown,tohernavelandthenfartherstill,hereyespoppedopen.The

instanthistonguetooktheplaceofhisfingers,heatshotthroughher,hadherdroppingeverylast
ounceofinhibition.Sheclungtohim,encouragedhim,beggedhimwithhermovementsandher
words.Shedidn’tknowthiswomanhe’dunleashedandcouldnolongerfindherinnershygirl.No
longercared.Justneeded.

Hecarriedhertotheedgewithhistongue,repeatedly,untilshethoughtshewoulddie.Thenat

last,release.Herbodyexplodedandshecouldn’tholdontoasinglethought.

Slowlysheregainedtheuseofherbrain,awareofAlexcaressinghereverywhere,hishandsand

mouthfeastingoneveryinchofherskin.Itoccurredtohershe’dbeennothingbutselfish.He’dmade
hercravehimsomuch,needhimmorethanair,andhehadn’tevengottenhispantsoffyet.

Withaself-consciousgrin,Taylorreachedforhisfly.
“Thesearesupposedtobeoff,”shesaidapologetically,unzippinghispants,slidingthemdown.
Sherosepartwaytobetterreachhim,butinsteadofhelpingher,hetookhernippleinhismouth

again.“Youhavethiswayofdistractingme.”

Asexydeeplaughcamefromhisthroat,vibratedonherbreast.“Good.”
Shecouldn’treachanyfarthertogethispantsoffandhemadenomovetohelpher.
“Don’tyouwant…?”
“Taylor,Iwant.Likeyouwouldn’tbelieve.”Heworkedhiswaytoherotherbreast.“I’ma

patientman.”

Hefinallyshiftedtothesideandquicklydispensedwithhispants,thenresumedwherehe’dleft

off.Hishardnessjuttedheavilyagainstherleg.Shetouchedhimandhesuckedinhisbreath,making
hersavorthisunfamiliarpower.

Afewsecondslater,hereachedforherhand.“Goingtomakemeloseit.”Hewovetheirfingers

togetherandkissedhergently,asifitwastheirfirstkiss.

“Taylor…”Hisvoicesoundedstrained.
“Yes?”Hadshemessedsomethingup?
“Idon’thaveprotection…”
Shegrinned,relieved.“It’sokay.I’monthepill.Formedicalreasons.”Shedidn’tknowwhyshe

felttheneedtoexplainthatnow.

“Idon’tcarewhatreasons,”hesaid,kissingherurgentlyagain.“I’mjustthankful.”
Hewastednotimeinshowingherexactlythat.

LEXACKNOWLEDGEDTHATNOT

beingwithawomanforgoingonayearmeantthatalmostanysexwouldbe

good.Butthoughhemadeapointofnotthinkingtoomuch,anaggingalarminthefarreachesofhis
mindtoldhimthiswasmorethansimplyaphysicalrelease.ThiswasTaylor.

Thethoughtdisappearedastheincrediblethingsthiswomanwasmakinghimfeeltookover.

He’dsaidjustonenight,butloveofGod,heneverwantedthistostop.Hecouldn’tgetenoughofher
lips,herbreasts,herskin.Thesoundsshemade,thelittlethingsshesaiddrovehimwild.

Yetagain,heruninhibitedpassionblewhismind.Well,okay,everythingaboutherwasblowing

hismind.Shewaseverybitrighttherewithhim,asifthey’dhadyearsofbeingtogether.

Heheldonforaslongashecould,butshedidhiminwhensheutteredhisnamerepeatedly,and

hecamealongwithher.

Hekissedthesideofherporcelainface,theirheartsthunderingtogether.Hetriedtocatchhis

breath.Eventually,heregisteredthecoolnessoftheairontheirsweatybodies.Theyhadn’teven
managedtopullbackthecovers.

“Ihadnoideayouwerecapableofthat,Taylor.”
“NeitherdidI.”Shesoundedgenuinelysurprisedandalittleself-conscious.
Chuckling,heshiftedtotheside,pullingherwithhim.Hecaressedhertousledhair.Drankinher

scent.Ittookseveralminutesforhimtoregisterthethrobbinginhisbadleg,buthedidn’tgiveita
secondthought.Thinkingwasoverrated.Dangerous,infact.Becauseheknewifhethoughttoohard
aboutanythingrightnow,itcouldruinthemoment.Andthismomentwastoodamngoodtomess
with.

AYLORKNEWBEFORESHE

openedhereyesthenextmorning,beforesheevenstirred,thathewasgone.

Shelaywithoutmoving.Refusedtoopenhereyes.Maybeshecouldgobacktosleep.Putoffthe

inevitable.Ignorereality.

Ifshetriedhardenough,shecouldimaginehisbodybesideher,socloseshecouldfeelhisheat.
Whowasshekidding?
Sherolledontoherback,tookinventoryofhersoremusclesasshestretched.Savoredthat

sorenessinseldom-usedplacesbecauseitprovedithadbeenreal.Alexhadbeenhere,inherbed,
doingallkindsoflovely,wickedthingstoherbodythroughoutthenight.She’dpracticallyhadmore
orgasmsinthepasteighthoursthanshe’dhadinherentirelife.

Warmthspreadthroughherassheallowedherselftorememberinslow,minutedetail

everythinghe’ddonetoher.Everythingshe’dbrazenlydonetohim.Maybeshe’dfoundthecourage
becausesheknewitwasonenightonly,thesinglechanceshehadwithhim,andshe’dneededittobe
asspectacularlymemorableaspossible.Maybeshe’dthoughtthatbylettinggoofherinhibitionshe’d
findspendingthenightwithherhardtoresist,betemptedtopullarepeat.

Ormaybejustbecauseitwashim,andthat’showheaffectedher.AlexWorthmadeherloseher

everlovingmind.

Thewarmthmorphedintoanembarrassedflushassheshiftedbacktoherside,awayfrom

whereAlexhadslept.Shedrewherkneesintoherchest,huggedthetangledblanketstoher,pulling
themsecurelyaroundherchin.Themotiondidnothingtocombatthesensationofutternakedness.So
muchmorethanherbodyhadbeenexposed.

Sheleapedoutofbed,takingthetopblanketwithherandsecuringitatherchestwithonehand

whileshepickedoutcleanclothestoputon.Inthebathroom,sheturnedtheshoweronanddropped
theblanket.Shestaredatherselfinthemirror,atherface,herbody.WonderedwhatAlexhadseen
whenhe’dlookedather—and,oh,lord,he’dhadampleopportunitytolook.Hercheeksreddenedas
shestudiedherself.Hadheseenherasalover,asawomanwhocouldfulfillhisneeds—atleastfor
onenight?OrhadheseenScarlet,hisfriend’syoungersister,whoneededprotection,guidance?

Howmuchoflastnighthadbeenoutofsympathyorsomegallantattempttobuildherself-

esteem?

Shakingherheadandturningawayfromthemirror,sheclenchedherjawdefiantly,battlingher

owndoubts.

She’dknowngoingintothisthatitwasjustsex.Shewastheidiotwhowastryingtobring

feelingsintoit,tryingtomakeitsomethingitwasn’t.

Itwasjustsex.
Exceptional,toe-curlingsex,granted.
Taylordistractedlysteppedintothestreamofhotwater.Thetrickwouldbenottogetmorehung

upbecauseofthesex.She’dbeenwithAlex.She’dadoredeverysecondofit.Butitstillcamedownto
thefactthathewasnotherlistman.Notevenclose.

ThebestwaytostopthinkingaboutAlexwastofindsomeoneelsetooccupyhertimeandher

brain.Thatwouldneverhappenifshespenteveryeveninginthismausoleum-likehouse.

Itwastimetostepupthemission.Timeforasociallife,evenifshehadtofakeit.
Crashingprofessionalmeetings,hittinghappyhourwithcoworkers…atthispointshe’dresort

tochurchandthegrocerystoreifshehadto.

Allsheneededwasonedecentmanwhodidn’thaveahang-uponanex,didn’thaveavideo-

gameobsession,anddidmeethersimplelistofqualifications.

CHAPTERNINETEEN

ALLINGASLEEPON

theancient,more-for-looks-than-comfortsofainthelivingroomwasabadmove,but

ithadnothingonwhathe’ddonelastnight.

Alexsatupandrubbedthesleepfromhiseyes,cussingupastorm.Adamncotonthearmybase

wasmorecomfortable.

He’dmadethewalkofshamehomejustbeforedaybreak,wearingsuitpants,adressshirtand

dressshoessouncomfortablehe’dbeentemptedtotosstheminthetrashuponarrival.Hissuitjacket
wasstillinTaylor ’scarandcouldstaythereforthenextdecadeasfarashewasconcerned.He
dreadedseeingheragain.

She’dagreedtoaone-nightthingandthathadsoundeddamngoodatthetime,whenhehadher

inhisarms,herhungrylipsonhis.Butrealitythemorningafterwasadifferentstory.Taylorwasn’ta
one-nighttypeofwoman,regardlessofwhatshe’dsaid,andhenevershould’vetreatedherlikeone.
Butwhatthehellcouldhedonow?

He’dblownit.
ThedoortothegarageslammedshutandheheardwhirlwindViennasweepintothekitchen.He

stood,intendingtoescapetohisbedroom,buthisdamnleglockedupandpainshotthroughit.
Apparentlydancing,sexandwalkingthreemilesinshoeswithsupportslightlylessthancardboard
hadtakenatollonhisrecuperatingmuscles.

Hesatbackdownonthecouchfromhell,stretchinghislegoutinfrontofhimandmassaging

histhigh.

“You’reawake.”Viennapokedherheadaroundthearcheddoorwaybetweenthekitchenand

diningroom,whichgaveheradirectviewofhim.Shedisappearedforasecond,thencarriedafast-
foodsackintothelivingroom.“Ibroughtyoulunch.”

Shesatacrossfromhimonanoverstuffedchair,tookoutacheeseburgerandfriesforherself,

thenpassedthesacktohim.

“Thanks,”hesaid,takingoutadoubleandfries.“What’stheoccasion?”
“Lookedlikeyouhadahardnight.Whattimedidyousneakin?”
“Ididn’tsneakin.”Much.
“Alex,Iwasuptillfour-thirtystudying.Youweren’thomewhenIwenttobed.”
“LastIcheckedIdidn’thaveacurfew.”
Sheeyedhimknowingly,anannoyinggrintuggingathermouth.“Ihopeitwasgood.Yousure

gotdeckedoutforher,whoeversheis.”

“Whatareyoustudyingfor?”Hetookalargebiteofburgerandchewed,nottastingit.Not

listeningtoheranswer.

Hissisterwouldhaveafielddayifshefoundoutwherehe’dspentthenight.ItwasTaylor ’s

choicewhethershefessedupornot,buthewasn’tabouttodiscusshismistake.

Hellofamind-blowing“mistake”itwas,too.Butnope,notgoingdownthatroad.Couldn’t

affordtorecalldetailsofTaylor,notnow,notever.

“…asifyou’reevenpayingattention,”Viennasaid,anddamnifhecouldn’trecallathingshe’d

beenyammeringonabout.

“Sorry.I’msureyou’llaceyourtest.”Ifshehadatest.“HaveyoutalkedtoTaylorlately?”
“Notforafewdays.She’sbeenpreoccupiedwithJoel.Seemslikehemakesherhappy.”
“Yeah,uh,youshouldcallhertoday.Shecouldprobablyuseafriend.”
“What’swrong?”Viennascowled.“Didsomethinghappenwithhim?”
“I’lllethertellyou.”
“Ifheturnsouttobealouse…”
“That’sapositive.”
ShesworeandAlexnoddedinagreement.Thewomeninthisfamilyhadalwaysbeenableto

holdtheirownwhenitcametofoullanguage.Hecouldn’tthinkofamoredeservingrecipientthan
thatscrawnypunk.

“I’llheadoverthereinafew.Whendidyouseeher?”Viennaaskedbeforeshovingfriesinto

hermouth.

“Wentovertodosomeworkyesterdaymorning.”Alltrue.Allshewasgettingfromhim.
“Speakingoflouses…lice?Whatever.Marshallneedsacome-to-Jesustalkfromyou.”
“What’dhedonow?”He’dbarelyseenhisbrotherforaweek.Theyhelddifferenthoursthese

days—Alexthoseofaworkingman,andMarshalladrunkard’s.TwicelastweekAlexhadmanaged
totakehisbrother ’scartoChicagoandbackfortherapywithoutMarshallevenrealizingit.

“Haveyoubeeninthebasementlately?”
“Haven’thadanyreasonto.”Marshallhadturnedthefinishedlowerlevelintohisdomainsince

movinghome.

“Itsmellslikeadistilleryandlooksevenworse.”
“Sowhatareyouwaitingfor?Tellhimtocleanitup.”
“Itried.Hewon’tlistentome.I’mhisbabysister—whatthehelldoIknow?”
“Goodquestion.”
Shecrumpledherburgerwrapperandnailedhimwithit.
“Mom’striedtotalktohimandhebasicallytoldherwheretogo.”
“Classy.”Alexstood,slowlythistime,stuffedhistrashintothesackandheldouthishandforhis

sister ’semptyfrycontainer.“I’llgiveitagobuthe’sgotnoreasontolistentome,either.”

“Wrong.You’reagoodman,armyguy.”Shegrabbedthebagfromhimandheadedtothe

kitchen.“Seeyoulater.”

Agoodman.Likehell.Agoodmanwouldn’tbeweakenoughtogiveintoTaylor.Hescoffedat

himself.Giveinmadeitsoundasthoughshe’dhadtoconvincehimtotakehertobed.

Shakinghishead,hepacedtowardthefireplace,bracedhisforearmonitandrestedhisheadon

hisarm.TriedtofigureoutwhathewouldsaytoTaylorwhenhesawheragain.It’dbealoteasierif
hedidn’thavetoseeher,butthatwouldbethecoward’swayout.Aftertheirconversationinher
backyardaboutherinsecurity,heknewexactlyhowshewouldseeitifhecutheroff.She’dtakeitas
confirmationthatherself-doubtwasjustified.It’dbeachallengefindingtherightbalance,though.He
couldn’tgiveherhopethattheycouldbeanythingmorethanfriends,butneithercouldhemakeher
believeheregrettedwhathadhappenedbetweenthem.Thoughsleepingwithherhadbeenabig-time
screwupandhewasalowlifeforlettingithappen,hecouldn’thonestlysayheregrettedit.Howcould
aguyregretsomeofthebestsexhe’deverhad?Yep,hewasapatheticbastardthroughandthrough.

Jawclenchedsotightitached,Alexliftedhisheadandstaredattheclusterofframedphotoshis

momusedtodecoratethemantel.Ittookseveralsecondsbeforeheregisteredwhatwasdirectlyin
frontofhisface.ApictureofhimandQuinn,takenthedaybeforethey’dleftforbasictraining.They
wereskinny,youngguys.Naive.Readytotakeontheworld.

Sodamnfulloflife.
Thesuddentighteninginhischestnearlychokedhim.

“Sofreakingsorry,man,”hewhispered.
Heflippedtheframeforwardandsetitfacedownonthemantel,unabletolookhisbestfriendin

theface.

AYLOR’SMOTIVATION

toputherhouseonthemarkethadbeenlagginguntilnow.Today,thelongestday

ofherlife,thehouseseemedtohavecomealiveandactivelytauntedherwithremindersofAlexat
everyturn.

Evidenceofhimandhisworkexistedinalmosteveryroom.Thetrimandcountertopinthe

kitchen.Ceilinganddoorsinthebasement.Closetdoorsinherroomandlightfixturesinher
bathroom.Etcetera,etcetera,etcetera.Shecouldn’tfindpeacetoday,nomatterwhereshetriedto
settle.

She’dendedupdoingwhatshedidbest—startinganewlist.Acomplex,multicolumnedonethat

wouldtakeupawholenotebookpage.

Whilethemajorworkwasjustaboutdone,withtheexceptionofthehallbath,therewasdeep

cleaning,decluttering,andprepackingtodobeforeshecalledaRealtor.Lotsofbusywork.

Busyworkwasgood.
Aknockcameatthedoorandshehaltedmidwordinherscrawling.HerfirstthoughtwasAlex,

butsherealizedbeforeherheartevenstartedbeatingagainthathe’dbethelastpersontoshowupon
herfrontsteps.He’dshownherexactlywherehestoodbysneakingoutthismorning.

Shetossedhernotebookonthekitchentableandwenttothefrontdoor,relievedtoseeVienna

outthepeephole.

“Hey,stranger,”shesaid,lettingherin.
“Longtimenotalk.”Viennasmiledandbreezedinside,asalways,fulloftangibleenergy.“Alex

saidIshouldcheckinwithyou.NotthatIwouldn’thaveanyway.What’snew?”

BetweenAlexandJoel,Taylorhadmanagedtodoquiteanumberonherlovelifeinamere

twenty-fourhours.Noneofitgood.ThenithitherexactlywhatViennahadsaid.

“WhatdidAlexsay?”Herstomachnosedivedandthewallsseemedtocloseinonher.
“Justthatyoumightneedafriend.So.HereIam.What’sgoingon?”
Taylorturnedawayandescapedintothekitchen.OpenedtherefrigeratorsoViennawouldn’tsee

hersqueezinghereyesclosed.Sherandomlygrabbedtwobottlesofwater,tryingtoregaincontrol.

Hesneakedoutandthensenthissistertocomfortme?HemustthinkI’mterriblypathetic.
ViennaenteredthekitchenasTaylorshutthefridgedoor.Taylorspunaroundwordlesslyand

handedherfriendoneofthebottles.Shespottedherletter-perfectscript,theprecisecolumnsofher
to-dolistsittingonthetable.Vintage,tangiblesignsofhertroubledmind-setthisafternoon.

Alexknowsmeandmyweaknesseswell.
Forsomereason,thattickedheroffevenmore.
ShemarchedintothelivingroomonherwaytothefrontdoorthenrealizedViennamustthink

she’dlosthermind,oratleasthermanners.

“Iwasjustgoingtotakeawalk,”shecalledoverhershoulder.
Viennafollowedher,takingadrinkfromherbottle.Asshereplacedthelid,shetiltedherhead

andnarrowedhereyes.“Let’sgo,then.”

ThewordswerebarelyoutbeforeTaylorshovedthescreendooropenandstormedoutside,

attemptingtoreelinhercrazy,out-of-controlemotions.

“Doyouhaveakey?”Viennaasked.
Taylorshookherhead.“Justleaveitunlocked.”SheforcedherselftowaitwhileViennapulled

theheavydoorclosedandletthescreendoorspringshut.

Theysetoffdownthesidewalkataquickpace.Halfablocklater,Viennajoggedafewpacesto

catchup.“Tay,shortlegshere.Isthisawalkoradrill?”

Taylorforcedherselftoslowdown.“Sorry.”
TherewasasmallparkupaheadthatTaylorusuallyforgotabout.Sheheadedforitnow,

knowingifshekeptwalking,shewouldagaininadvertentlyzoomoffwithoutVienna.Shewent
straightfortheswings.Choosingthehigherofthetwo,shesatinit,noticingthesethingsweren’tas
wideassheremembered.Shestraightenedandpushedherselfbackward,thenpumpedherlegstogain
altitude.Viennajumpedontheswingnexttohers.

Youcouldn’ttalkverywellwhenyouwereswinging.
Theyslippedintoanunspokencontestofwhocouldgohigher,andTaylorgraduallybreathed

easier,releasedtheemotionaltensionthathadballedupinsideherthroat.Flyingbackandforth
throughtheair,stomachdippingateachcrest,hadawayofchangingagirl’sperspective,evenif
onlytemporarily.

Tenminutesmusthavepassed,theonlysoundbetweenthemasporadiclaughorholler.Taylor

wastakenbacktoanothertime,asimplertimewhenaswingintheparkwastheobjective,notan
escape.Atimewhensupportingherbodyweighthadn’tmadeherarmmusclesacheorherbuttfeel
likeithadbeenwedgedintoatoo-smallharness.Insteadoflettingherselfslowdowngradually,she
wentfortheinstantdismountandjumpedoffasshe’dalwaysdonewhenshewassix.

Thelandingwasharderthansherememberedandsheendeduponherside,momentarily

stunnedintosilence.

“Areyouokay?”Viennaholleredfrommidair.
Taylorrolledontoherback,soakingupthesunandthesmelloftherecentlycutgrass…and

startedlaughing.WhenViennalandedwithaclumsythudandan“Oof”nearby,shelaugheduntilher
stomachstartedhurting.SheheardViennadothesame.TearsfilledhereyesandTaylorgaspedfor
air.WhenshefinallylookedatVienna,thatsetthemoffevenmore.

AtlastViennaletoutalong,loudsigh.“Thelandingisn’tquitethesameaswhenyouweighfifty

pounds.”

“IthinkIhavebruises,”Taylorsaid,crackingupagain.“ButIhaven’tlaughedsohardinages.I

neededthat.”Sherosetoherelbows,glancingaround,relievedtoseetheparkwasstilldeserted.She
pusheduptoasittingposition,supportingherweightonherhandsbehindher.“That’sit,Vienna.
Yourtickettothebigtime.”

Viennasatupnexttoherwithaquestioninglook.
“Youneedtomarketswingingintheparkastherapy.Trademarkit,giveitafancyname.You’ll

makemillions.”

“You’reagenius.”Viennacrossedherlegsandpointedherfaceattheclearsky.“Speakingof

careerstuff,Ihavenews.”

Taylorsatupstraighter.
“Well,areyougoingtotellmeorjustsittheresmugly?”
“Ihadaninterview!”
“Yesss!Where?Withwhom?When?”
Viennapracticallybounced.“WithHughSamuels.”
“MyHughSamuels?YouhadaninterviewwithoneoftheVPsofmycompanyandyoudidn’t

warnme?”

“YourHughSamuels?IstheresomethingIshouldknow?”Viennagiggledwickedly.“Andmore

important,doyouhaveanyinfluenceoverthisman?”

“Youdon’tneedanyoutsideinfluence.I’msureyoudidwellonyourownmerits.Andmy

relationshipwithhimispurelyprofessional.ThelastthingIneedismoremaledramainmypersonal
life.”Shesoberedatthereminder.

“Ithappenedprettyfast,otherwiseIwould’vetoldyou.Orgivenyouthethirddegree,more

accurately.HecalledWednesdayafternoonandwantedtomeetFriday.MyThursdaywasnutsandI
rememberedyouweregoingout.”

WithJoel.My,howquicklythingscouldchange.
“Howdiditgo?Iwantdetails.”TaylorknewhercompanywasonVienna’slistofdreamjobs—

withgoodreason.Itwasconsistentlyrankedoneofthetopplacestowork,bothlocallyandon
nationallists.

Viennasmiledwidely.“Reallywell.Ithinkthatmangetsme—we’reonthesamewavelength

marketing-wise.”

TaylorrelaxedasViennawentonandonabouttheinterview.Sheletherselfforgetabouther

ownmiseryforafewminutes.

“HesaidtheyexpecttofillthispositionquicklysoIhopetoknowmorewithinacoupleof

weeks.”

Itwasanewposition.Oneoftheassistantmarketingmanagers.Notentrylevel,buttherewasno

questionViennawasidealforit.Taylorwouldhavetoseeifshecouldgetanyinsideinformationon
Hugh’simpressionofVienna.Putinanothergoodwordforher.

“Sothat’sthat,fornow,”Viennasaid.“Inotedthatmentionofmaledrama.Areyougoingto

spill?”

Drat.Theinterviewwasamuchbettertopic.Taylorclosedhereyes.
“AlexhintedthatJoelwasinthedoghouse.”
Taylorlaybackonthegrassagainandrolledtoherstomach.
“Doghousemakesitsoundlikethere’sachancehecouldredeemhimself.”
“Thatdoesn’tsoundgood.”Viennastretchedoutonherside,proppingherselfuponherelbow.
Taylorshookherhead.“It’stooembarrassing.”
“Embarrassing,mybutt.Thisisme.We’refriends.Itgoeswithoutsayingthatwhatever

happenedwastheguy’sfaultonethousandpercent.”

ThatalmostmadeTaylorsmile.She’dspentsomanyyearskeepingthingstoherselfthatthis

opening-upbusinesswashardtogetusedto.Especiallywhenitconcernedherdisastrousdatinglife.

“WhatdidAlextellyou?”shesaid.Astall?Morethanlikely.
“Absolutelynothing.Infuriatingman.”
Taylorchewedontheinsideofhercheek,gatheringhercourage.“Weweresupposedtogotoa

weddingtogether.”

“Iremember.Wepickedoutthebluedress.”
“Fridayafternoonhecalledtocancel.Hesaidhewasgoingoutoftownfortheweekend,last-

minute.Somethingabouthisdadneedinghim.”

“No,”Viennasaid.“Youweresolookingforwardtogoingwithadate.”
Oneofhermanymistakes.
SherecountedwhathadhappenedatthehardwarestoreSaturdaymorninginpainfuldetail,

includingthesuspicionthattheonlyreasonhe’daskedheroutinthefirstplacewassohisexwould
seethemtogether.

“Unbelievable,”Viennasaidwhenshe’dfinishedthestory.“Idon’tcareifhewasusingyouto

gethisex’sattentionornot,he’sacreep.Youdeservesomuchbetter,Tay.”

Taylorpulledthegrassupbytheroots,onebladeatatime.
“Sodidyougototheweddinganyway?”
Drat.It’dbeenhardenoughtotalkaboutJoel.Nowaycouldshebringherselftoconfideabout

Alex.“Yes.Ihadto.Ihadthedress.”MaybehumorwouldsidetrackViennafromfurtherquestions.

“Waitasecond.”Viennasatupquickly.“Alexwaswearingasuitlastnight.Hetookyou,didn’t

he?”

“Hewaswithmeatthehardwarestoreandfeltsorryforme,”Taylorexplainedquickly.“What

elsecouldhedo?Theweddingwasbeautiful.Theyhadthereceptionatthebotanicalgardens.”

Viennawasn’tsoeasilydistracted.“Alexwasoutlatelastnight,Taylor.Washewithyou?”
“No.”Theliecameoutbeforeshecouldconsiderit,butitwasjustaswell.Nowaycouldshe

admitwhathappened.Noneofit.

“Hmm,”wasallViennasaid,thoughTaylorknewherbrainwasspinning,probablytryingto

figureoutwhoAlexhadpickedupattheweddingandhowhe’dmanagedtoditchher.Letherpuzzle
overit.Itwaspreferabletohavingherfigureoutthetruth.“So…areyoudonewithJoel?Moving
on?”

Didsleepingwithyourbrother ’sbestfriendconstitutemovingon?
Taylorchuckledsarcastically.“Idon’tappeartohaveanysayinthat.Joel’sdone.Butyes…my

illusionshavebeensuitablyshattered.Iwouldn’tgooutwithhimagainifhegotdownonhisknees
andbegged.”

“Amen,sister.”Viennawatchedalargeblackantcrawlupherarmandtheywerebothquietfor

severalminutes.“You’llfindyourguysoon,Taylor.I’msuretherightoneisouttheresomewhere.”

ThoughTaylor ’sconfidencewaslagging,shewassurehewas,too.Theonlyquestioninher

mindwas:DidsheneedtofindtherightguysothatshecouldstopthinkingaboutAlex,ordidshe
needtostopthinkingaboutAlexsoshecouldfindtherightguy?

CHAPTERTWENTY

NETHINGBEINGINTHEARMY

hadtaughtAlexwasthatifyouhadtodosomethingyoudreaded,thebestway

tohandleitwastojumprightinandgetitoverwith.

SeeingTayloragainwasnotthatbigofadeal,notwhenyouputitinarmytermsandcompared

itwithsomeofthehellacioussituationshe’dfoundhimselfoutthere.Nobigdealatall.

SowhythehellwerehispalmssweatingandhisheartbeatingerraticallyasheparkedVienna’s

shit-mobileatthecurbandwalkedaroundtoTaylor ’sbackdoor?

BecauseTaylorwassensitive.It’dbetooeasytodamageherself-esteemifhedidn’thandlethis

justright,andthatwasthelastthinghewantedtodo.HeneededtosaytherightthingsaboutSaturday
nightwithoutsayingtoomuchortoolittle.

Nopressurewhatsoever.
Hecaredwhatshethought,aboutherselfandabouthim.Caredhowtheirnighttogetherhad

affectedher.Thatwasmostimportantnow.

Hisfootstepsonherdeckseemedloud,exaggeratedagainstthebackgroundbirdsymphonyat

thisbutt-earlyhour.He’dhadtohustletogettothegrocerystorefordonutstomakeupforthecoffee
cakehe’ddevouredacoupleweeksback.Thenhe’drushedtoherhousetotrytocatchherbeforeshe
leftforwork.Thoughhewasn’tsurewhatinsanehourthatwas,knowingherknackforbeingearly
everywhereshewent,hefiguredhe’dbeluckytoseeherifhegothereassoonafterdawnas
possible.

Heknockedonthedoorandscannedthesurroundingbackyardsforsignsoflife.Nooneonthe

blockseemedtobestirringyet.Bythethirdknock,hewassurehe’dmissedTaylor.Crazywoman
muststartherworkdaybeforeseveno’clock.Maybehewasgoingtogetoffeasierthanhe’d
expected—fornow,anyway.

Thepastrieswouldn’tbeasfreshbytomorrowmorning,sohewouldjustlethimselfinand

leavethemonthecounterbeforeheadingtoChicagoforhisPTappointment.Afterheunlockedthe
door,helistenedforanysignofher,butthehousewassilent,obviouslyempty.

Ashesettheboxdownnearthesink,oneofthefurballssaunteredinandrubbedupagainsthis

legs.Itgazedupathimeagerly.Hesidesteppedit,shakinghisheadandsearchingforapieceofpaper
toleaveanote.Hewasalmosttothelivingroomwhenheheardthesuddenblareofpopmusicfrom
thebackofthehouse.Analarmclock?Taylormusthaveforgottentoturnitoff.Hefollowedthe
soundtoherbedroomandnearlypissedhimselfwhenhesawher.

Shewasstretchedoutonherstomach,thecoversthrownaside,givinghimonehellofaviewof

herslender,sexybody.Itwasbarelyhiddenbytheshortestpajamabottomshe’deverbeenlucky
enoughtoseeonawomanandaloose,matchingpeach-coloredcamisoletopthathadworkeditsway
halfwayupherback.Herhairsplayedwildlyonbothsidesofthepillow,hidingherface.Thewide
swathofcreamyskinbetweenshortsandtopbeggedhimtotouchit.

Imagesoftheothernight,ofhernaked,ontopofhim,beneathhim,inthemoonlight,

bombardedhim.Kickedhispulseuptodoublespeed.Allthebloodinhisbodyseemedtoheadsouth.

Beforehecouldmovefromhisspotinthedoorway—whethertoapproachthetemptingwoman

infrontofhimortobackawayandrespectherprivacy,hecouldn’tsay—shestirred.Slowlyrolledto

herbackandgroanedsleepilyassheflungherarmtowardthestill-blastingalarmonthenightstand.
Hereyesremainedclosedasshefeltaroundforit,hittingitseveraltimesuntilthemusicstopped.

Alexswallowedhard,unsurehowtoavoidscaringthedaylightsoutofher.Unabletokeepfrom

feastinghiseyesonthisnew,evenmorerevealingviewofher.

Herscreammadehimjumpguiltilyandhemovedtowardher.“Taylor,it’sme.”
Shewhippedherextrapillowagainstherbodyandclungtoitasshesatup,twopinkspots

appearingonhercheeksbeneatheyesthatshotfireathim.

“Whatareyoudoinginhere,Alex?”Hertoneleftnodoubtthatshewaslesshappytoseehim

thanhewastoseesomuchofher.

Topreventherfromnoticinghisblatantarousal,hetooktwolargestepstothefootofherbed

andsatdown.

“It’sokay,”hesaid.“SorryIstartledyou.”
Shescootedtowardtheheadofthebed,leaningagainstonepillowandstillcoveringherbody

withtheother.“Startled?You’reluckyIdidn’tgointocardiacarrest!Whyareyouhere?”

Withoutthinking,hereachedoutandtouchedherankle.“Ibroughtyoudonutstopayyouback

forthecoffeecakeIowedyou.ItriedtogetherebeforeyouleftandthenthoughtI’dmissedyou
whenyoudidn’tansweryourdoor.”

Hermouthhungopenasshestaredathim.“Diditnotoccurtoyoutocheckformycar?”
Hestaredbackandfoughtasheepishgrinathisownstupidity.“Inmydefense,it’searly.”
Shethrewthepillowshe’dbeenhuggingathim,catchinghiminthehead.Hecouldtellshe

regrettedgettingridofhercoverassoonassherealizedwhatshe’ddone,butinsteadofbeing
chivalrous,heheldontothepillowandcheckedhiswatch.

“It’sfiveafterseven,Taylor.Aren’tyoulate?”
“Istartworkateight.”Shecrossedherarmsoverherchestandraisedherchin.“I’mnotmuch

ofamorningperson.”

“MissEarly-for-everything?Notamorningperson?”Hecouldn’twraphisheadaroundit.
“Well,technicallywedon’thavetobeatworkuntileight-thirty,so…”
“That’smorelikeit.Yourlateistheirearly.”
“Alex?”
“Yeah?”
“CouldyougetoutofmyroomsoIcangetupandshower?”
Hestudiedher,allowedhimselfthreesecondstoconsiderwhathe’dratherdo.Gettingoutof

herewasawiseidea.

Hestood,tossingthepillowbacktothebedandtryingtohidehowaffectedhewasbythe

intimacyofbeingherewithherfirstthinginthemorning,withheralltousledandsexy.

“Fortherecord,I’vealreadyseeneverything,”hesaid,noddingtoherbody.Beforeshecould

nailhimwiththepillowagain,heescapedandshutthedoorbehindhim.Thenhewenttothekitchen
tofigureouthowtoreelhimselfinandestablishsomeboundariesinhishead.

NCEHERBEDROOMDOORCLOSED

,Taylorgrabbedthepillowagainandsqueezedittoher,buryingherfacein

it.

Shewasburningup.Hadsheforgottentoturntheairconditioneronlastnight?Butno,ithad

nothingtodowithroomtemperature.Shecouldn’tsaywhetheritwasembarrassmentandself-
consciousnessor…

Sheloweredthepillowandexhaledloudly.Yeah,that.Itwasimpossibletodenythatapartofher

hadwantedhimtocrawlintobedandspendthedaywithher.Abigpartofher.Closetoninety-five
percentofherifshehadtoquantify.

Inthefouryearsshe’dworkedatHalversonSystems,she’dtakenexactlyonesickday,twoyears

agowhenshe’dgottenfoodpoisoningsosevereshe’dbeensureshewasgoingtodie.Today,ifAlex
hadstrippeddownandjoinedher,shewouldn’thaveblinkedaneyeatplayinghookytobewithhim.

Whichwaspathetic.Theironenightwasover.
Equallypatheticwasthewayshewasstillsittingherepiningoverhiminsteadofgettingready

forwork.

Shehoppedoutofbedandheadedtoherbathroom.Lockedthedoorbecauseshewouldn’tbe

surprisedifhewasstilllurkingoutthere,waitingforher,andturnedonthewater.Avoidedcatchinga
glimpseofherselfinthemirrorassheslidherpajamasoff,alltooconsciousofhowherbodyhad
reactedtohavingAlexinherbedroomagain.

Hehadtobetotallyawareofwhathedidtoher,whatshefeltforhim,afterSaturdaynight.Had

toknowthatagreeingtoone-time-onlysexwasn’ttypicalbehaviorforher,whereasshewaspretty
certainitwasn’toutoftheordinaryforamanlikeAlex.

Whywashehere,really?Diditamusehimthatshe’dletherlifelongcrushtakeoveron

Saturdaynightandeagerlydonewhatwasunheardofforher?Whathadgonethroughhisheadthis
morningashe’dsatonherbedandseenhersoflusteredshecouldhardlybreathe?

Enoughofthat.Shecouldn’tchangewhathadhappenedovertheweekend,butshedidn’thaveto

yearnforamanwhoonlyhungaround,onlycheckedonherbecausehefeltheowedittoherbrother
tomakesureshewasokay.

Shewasokay.
Taylorstoodstraighterintheshower,determinednottobeinsecureScarletanymore.Atleast

notinAlex’spresence.

Hewasnotatallsuitableforher,sheremindedherself.Anarmyguysteepinginself-

recriminationwassofarofffromtheclean-cutgo-gettertypesheenvisionedspendingherlifewith.
Saturdaynighthadbeenfunand,well,naughty,butthatwasn’twhoshewas.

Afteraspeedyshower,shetookherclothesfortheday,whichshe’dhungonthebackofthe

bathroomdoorlastnight,andpulledthemon.Haircombedbutstilldamp,sheremindedherselfwith
everysteptowardthekitchenthatAlexwasnotthemanforher.He’dsneakedoutbeforethesunhad
comeoutyesterday,obviouslyunabletoownuptowhathe’dlethimselfdo.

Shesmelledcoffeebeforeshereachedthekitchenbutsherefusedtoacknowledgeanysoftening

towardhim.Shecouldn’taffordto.Bitingtheinsideofhermouth,sheblusteredintotheroom,
straighttothecoffeemaker,withoutsparinghimaglance.

“Taylor,”hesaidfromthetablebehindher.“AboutSaturday…”
Herbackstiffened.ShewasnotgoingtostandherewhilehegavehertheI’m-sorry-about-what-

happenedspeechandremindedheritwouldn’thappenagain.

“Yeah,”shesaid,fillingatravelmugwithsteamingcoffee.“I’msorryaboutthat,Alex.Ihope

wecanjustcallitmygetting-over-Joeladventureandletitgoatthat.Itdidn’tmeananythingtoeither
oneofus.It’sallgood.”

Shetookasip.Thecoffeescaldedhertongueandmadehereyeswaterbutshedidn’tmoveaway

fromthecounter.Didn’tdarelookathim.Couldn’tlethimdiscernthateverythingshe’dsaidwasa
lie.

Alexwassilentforseveralnever-endingseconds.“Okay,then,”hesaidslowly.“Aslongaswe

havethatclearedup.”

Sheheardhimstand,bithercheekagainashejoinedheratthecounter.Sheforcedherselfto

meethisgaze.

“Everything’scool?”heasked,hiseyes,greenish-graytoday,boringdownintohers.
Taylornoddedonce,emphatically.
“Good.”
Heplacedhishandgentlyonthebackofherneckandkissedherforehead.Releasedherasshe

foughtnottoletthatsimplegesturegettoher.Shecouldn’thelpnoticinghisreliefatbeingoffthe
hook.

“We’llgobacktothewaythingswere.”
“Right.”Shesomehowmanagedtofliphimanunconcernedsmile.
Thewaythingswere.Fabulous.
Sheturnedawayfromhimandtookherphoneoutofherpockettocheckherschedule.Tonight

washappyhourwithViennaandagroupofgradstudents.Viennahadassuredhertherewouldbemen
there.Smartmen.Driven,intellectualmen.Thoughtheoddswerelowthatshe’dmeettheoneforher,
she’datleasthavesomewheretogobesidesherempty,echoinghouse.

Thatwassomething.

LEXHADN’TINTENDED

towalkoutofherhousehardasarockandrejected.Notthathe’dexpectedor

wantedanythingtohappenbackthere.Buthesureashellhadn’tforeseenhergivinghimtheblow-off
line.

Didn’tthatjustservehimright?
Anhour-and-forty-minutecarridehadn’tdoneathingtoeasehisagitation.Nordidthirty

minutesofintensephysicaltherapy.Whichonlyannoyedhimfurther.

“I’dtellyoutogoharder,Alex,butI’mafraidyou’dactuallytry.”Helenwasn’tknownfor

showinganykindofapersonality.Thetherapistwasallbusiness,allthetime,sotheattemptat
sarcasmwassomewhatremarkable.

Hedidn’tanswer,justchanneledallhisunrestandfrustrationintohislegmusclesandmanaged

tolifttheweightagain.

“Isthatit?”Helenasked.Despitethequestion,hertonesaidthesessionwasover.
Shewasmoremotivatingthansherealized.
Alexwentforonemorerep,squeezinghiseyesshutagainstthepaininhismuscles.Hislegs

shooklikeaBlackhawk’svibrationsandhewasn’tsurehecouldmovethemanothermillimeter.

Damnthehelicopterthatcrashed.DamntheenemythatcausedthecrashandtookQuinnaway

fromthem.Damnallofit.

Heforcedtheweightupward,usingthepainandtheanger.Helengrabbeditandmotionedfor

himtoletgososhecouldloweritherself.

“We’redone,”shesaidabruptly.
Hecheckedhiswatchandlookedatherquestioningly.“We’vegottenmoreminutes.”
“Nottoday,”shesaid.“I’mallforpushingyourself,butyouhaveadeathwishtoday.You’re

goingtoendupreinjuringyourself.Thatkindofsetbackisnothappeningonmywatch.”

Hepacedovertothewallandpickeduphissportsdrink.Pouredsomedownhisthroatashe

triedtosettlehimself.HemoppedhisfacewithatowelandsaunteredbacktoHelen,whowasmaking
notesonapieceofpaper.

“Wednesday?”heaskedtoverifytheirnextmeeting.
Helennodded.“Takeiteasy,Alex.Idon’tknowwhat’sgotyousobotheredtoday,butIhopeyou

canworkitout.”

Hethankedherhalfheartedly,gothisstufftogetherandwalkedout.Normallyhechangedclothes

beforethetrekhome,buttodayhejustneededtogetoutofthesefourwalls.

Helenwasright.Hewastiedupinknotsandforwhatgoodreason?ThevisittoTaylor ’shouse

hadgonebetterthanhe’dexpected.Thereasonshe’ddreadedithadn’tpannedout.Sowhatthehell
washisproblem?

Whateveritwas,itwastimetogetoveritrightdamnnow.Thesoonerhegotbacktoactiveduty,

thebetteroffeveryonewouldbe.

CHAPTERTWENTY-ONE

T’DBEENNEARLYTWOWEEKS

sinceAlexhadseenTaylor.

Aftertheblow-offMondaymorning,hehadn’tfeltobligatedtogooutofhiswaytoprove

everythingwasfineinspiteoftheirnighttogether.Ifitwas“nobigdeal,”thentherewasnoneed.He
hadn’tspecificallyavoidedher,buthehadn’tstayedlatetorunintoheronthedaysheworkedather
house,either.

Frankly,it’dbeentoolongforhisliking.Thatwastheprotectivepartofhim,wantingtocheck

onher.Atleastthat’sthestoryhetoldhimself.

Ashestrolledupthedrivewaybetweenhercarandthesideofthehouse,hetriedtoignorethe

subtlerelief,borderingonanticipation,atthesightofhercar.

Okay,damnitall,he’dneverbeenonetotellhimselfstories.HewantedtoseeTaylorforthe

merefactthathe’dmissedherandhelikedlookingather.Likedher,period.Whichwasperfectly
fine.They’dforgedastrangesortoffriendshipoverthepastcoupleofmonths,andthatwas
acceptable.QuinnwouldbehappytoknowhissistercouldcountAlexasafriend,andVienna,aswell.
Thatwashisdutytohisbuddy,right?

Notadutyatall,hecorrected.MakingsureTaylorwasokaywassomethinghefeltheowed

Quinn,butnothingmore.Hewasherebychoice.Her…friendbychoice.Whichmadeitokaythathe
waslookingforwardtoworkingonherbathroomalldayalongsideher.

Heknockedandwentoninsincethedoorwasopen.Oneofthecatswasrightthereintheentry,

soakingupthesunlight.Itraiseditsbacksideandlookedeagerlyupathim.

“Hey,furball.”Hereacheddowntoscratchitsears.He’dlearnedtotolerateTaylor ’sfelines

afterallthetimehe’dspentaloneinherhousewiththem.They’dneverquitefiguredouttheywere
enemiestostartwith,andsomethingabouttheirquietpersistencehadwornawayhisresistance.They
weren’tsobad.

“Helpyourselftocoffee,”Taylorcalledfromthebackofthehouse.
Ashewaspouringhimselfamugfull,shecamebustlingouttothekitchen.Heturnedtogreet

herand—shewasn’tdressedforworkingaroundthehouse.Notunlessshesuddenlydidn’tmind
dirtyingthedenimskirtthathitjustaboveherkneesorthetankandbutton-downshirtsheworeover
it.Andasmuchasshesupposedlyadoredthosegreenflip-flopshissisterhadgivenher,hewassure
workinginthemwasn’tonheragenda.

“DidViennabringyouover?”sheasked,notmeetinghiseyes.
“Wasshesupposedto?”
Taylorshrugged.“SheandIaregoingshopping.Ijustfiguredyoumightcarpool.”
Shopping?
“Ithought…”Heshookhishead,silentlycallinghimselfanidiot.“Bathroomsuppliesget

delivered?”

“Inthegarage.”Shegrabbedahalf-greenbananafromabunchonthecounterandpeeledit.

“Everythingyou’llneedtoreplacethecountertopandtilethefloor.”Shetookabiteandchewed.
Lookedstartledbyathought.“It’sjustaone-personjob,right?Youdon’tneedmetohelp?”

Need,no.“Godoyourgirlthing.”

He’dstayhereanddohisman-fix-itthing.Alone.Nobigdeal.

HEONLYREASON

LEX

perkedupatthesoundofhissisterandTaylorthunderingintothehouselouder

thanaherdofelephantswasthehopethattheymight’vepickedupsomedinnerforhim.

Yep,hungerwashisonlyconcern.Nothingtodowithacertainredheadwhoapparentlyreally

wasunaffectedbythenightthey’dspenttogether.He’dbehard-pressedbeforehe’dadmittoasoul
thatthatveryredheadhadinfiltratedhisdreamsonanightlybasis.Usuallynaked.

IfsomeoneweretosuggestitwasgettingtohimthatTaylorhadsoeasilydismissedhimafter

sleepingwithhim,well,hehadnothingtosaytothat.Peoplecouldthinkwhattheywanted.

Thebathroomdooropenedaboutafootuntilithithisbackside,andTaylorstuckherheadin.

“You’restillhere?”

“Tile’sgoingslowerthanIexpected,”hesaid,ensuringthepiecehe’djustlaidwassquarewith

theothers.“I’llstickaroundandfinishit.”

“Oh.”Hertonemadehimcranehisnecktolookather.
“Thataproblem?”
“Youcangohome.You’vebeenworkingalongtime.”
“Idon’tmind.Justaseasytofinishitnowasitistocomebacktomorrow.”
“Viennawouldprobablytakeyouwhensheleaves.”
“Idon’tneedViennatotakeme.”
Hissister ’sheadappearednexttoTaylor ’s.“She’sgotadate,armyguy.Shewantsyouto

vamoose.”

Heturnedbacktohistileandscrutinizeditunnecessarily.Thewomentwitteredoffdownthehall

towardTaylor ’sroom,gabbingabouthowtheshoeswouldlookwiththeoutfitorsomeotherall-
importantmatter.Alexclenchedhisjawandconcentratedonfinishingtherow.

WhenTaylorandViennacameoutofthebedroomagoodwhilelater,hewasmidwaythrough

thenextrowoftiles,closeenoughtothedoorthathewasforcedtoworkwithitopenalltheway.

“Alex…”Taylor ’stoneleftnoquestionshewasn’tthrilledthathewasstillthere.“No.You’re

notdoingthatagain.”

“Doingwhat?”
“HangingaroundsoyoucanjudgeBrian.Please.”
Brian?Judgewasn’tthefirstverbthatcametomind.
“Iwasn’t—”
“Comeon,Alex,I’vegotastudygroupformylasttestintwentyminutes.I’lldropyouoffat

homeonmyway.”Viennastoppedinthedoorwayagainanddaredhimtoarguewithalookshe’d
pickedupfromtheirmother.

Hestoodandglareddownather.
“Givemefive,”hesaidandturnedtocleanupfortheday.
Bothwomenwereinthekitchenwhenheemerged.“Iclosedthedoorandturnedonthefanto

getridofthefumes.Keepthecatsoutandusetheotherbathroom.”

Taylornoddedassheflittedaround,tidyingthealreadyneatcountertop,andhecouldtell,

thoughshefoughttohideit,shewasonceagainscaredashell.Instinctmadehimwanttosoothethat
fearashehadbefore.Hehadtoremindhimselfthatwasn’thisrole.It’dbetwistedforsomeone
who’dsleptwithhertocalmherdownbeforeadatewithanotherman.Besides,Viennawashere.

Alexwenttothesinkandscrubbedhishandswithmelon-scentedsoap.Ashewasdryingthem,

Taylorcameupbehindhim.

“Here,”shesaid,handinghimanenvelope.“Imeanttogiveyouthiswhenyougotherebuthad

toruntothebankfirst.”

Hewasjustthehiredhelp.
HetooktheenvelopewithatightnodandheadedtoVienna’scarwithoutaword.

ARSHALL’SCARWAS

theonlyoneinthegaragewhenViennadroppedAlexoffathometenminuteslater.

Theirmommighthavetoldhimwhereshewasgoingtonightbuthecouldn’trecall.Didn’tmuchcare
aslongassheandhissisterwereoutofthehouseandhe’dhavesomepeace.

Heslammedthefrontdoorharderthannecessary.
Marshallwasinthekitchen,andAlexheadedthatway.Later,he’drealizethathadbeenhisfirst

mistakeuponreturninghome.

“Hey,”Marshallsaidfromhisspotatthetable.Hebentoveragrilledcheesesandwichandtook

anoversizebite.

Alexautomaticallyscannedforliquor.Yep.Hisbrotherwasusinghismannerstonight,drinking

thebrownstufffromacocktailglassinsteadofstraightfromthebottle.Hebitdownanyinsulting
comments.Mightaswellbroachthesubjectofhisdrinking,asViennahadrepeatedlyaskedhimto
do.

“Makeasandwichforme?”Alexaskeddryly.
“Whatdoyouthink?”
“Ithinkifit’snotaboutmeetingMarshall’simmediateneeds,it’snothappening.”
“Whatthehell’sthatsupposedtomean?”
“Nothing.”MaybeAlexwasn’tintherightframeofmindforaseriousdiscussionbutwhatthe

hell.HeslatheredbutterontwoslicesofbreadandlinedupthelasttwopiecesofAmericancheese
betweenthem.Theburnerwasstillswitchedtohigh,andthehotskilletsizzledwhenhetossedthe
sandwichin.“Youtryingtoburnthehousedown?”

Marshallgrinned.“Notintentionally.”
“Well,thatmakesitokay,then.”
“WhatdidyouandQuinn’ssisterdoallday?”
“Iworked,”Alexsnapped.“HernameisTaylor.”
“Wealittletesty?”Marshallasked.
“Iamjustdamnfine.Youareonceagainlit.”
Alexturnedtheheatdownacoupleofnotches.Somethinghadtochangebecauseifhehadn’t

comehomewhenhedid,whoknewhowlongthestovewould’vebeenlefton.

“YouandTayloraregettingprettycozynowthatQuinn’snotaroundtostopit.”
Alexliftedthepan,flippedthesandwichandslammedtheskilletbackdownontheburner.He

clampedhisjawshut.Blowingupwouldn’thelpMarshallseewhathewasdoingtohimself.Thiswas
forhismomandVienna’ssakes,Alexremindedhimself.

Heeyedthebottleonthetablenexttothenear-emptycocktailglass.Morethanhalf-full.Maybe

itwasearlyenoughhecouldgetsomewhere.

“Whatareyoudoing,Marshall?”
“Eatingagrilledcheese.What’sitlooklikeI’mdoing?”
“Lookstome…”Alexsaidasheturnedtheheatoff,tookaplatedownandslidthesandwich

ontoit“…likeyou’repissingyourlifeaway.”

“Cheers,bro.”Marshallliftedhisglass,asmirkonhisface,eyesbloodshot.
Alexsatdownheavilyatthetable,reininginhistemper,thoughtheurgetopunchthestupidout

ofhisbrotherjustaboutmadehimtwitch.“Whenareyougoingtofindajob?”

Marshallfinishedoffthewhiskeyinhisglassandsetitdownhard.Hepushedtheglassasideand

slidthebottlecloser,obviouslyintendingtodoawaywithformalities.“That’smybusiness,”hesaid
quietly.

“Whenyou’relivinginMom’shouse,it’sherbusiness,too.”
“Youherspokesmannow?”
Alexstaredathim.“Lookslikeit.ThewayIunderstandit,MomandViennahavebothtried

talkingtoyou.”

“Thewomendon’tgetit,Alex.Ididmybesttobepolitewhiletheyhadtheirsay,buttheyhave

noideawhatitdoestoamanwhenheloses…”Marshalllookedaroundthekitchenasifsearching
forthewordhewanted“…damnneareverything.”

“Itsucks.Igetthat.”Alex’sangercooledslightlybecausehedidunderstand.Hewaslivingthe

samething,toanextent.“Butyou’vegottopickyourselfup.Moveforward.”

“There’snothingforwardthatIcansee.”Marshallswiggeddownseveralgulpsofwhiskey.
Hecouldn’tevenstopdrinkinglongenoughtodiscussthis.
“Ifyouwon’tdoitforyourself,doitforMomandVienna.”
“Whatthehelldotheyhavetodowithanything?”
“Theyhavetolivewithyou.”Alex’svoiceroseinvolume.“You’reruiningyourownlifeand

makingthemwatch.That’snotgoddamnfairtothem.”

“Yeah,well,excusemeifI’mnottoofreakingconcernedaboutthem.They’llbefine.”He

shovedhischairoutandstormedovertothecounter,grippinghisbelovedbottleasthoughhislife
dependedonit.

“Notifyouburndowntheirhouse.”Alexstood,sethisplateinthesinkwithaclatter.“Youthink

they’llbeokayifyoudrinkyourselftodeath?”

“Guesstheywouldn’thavetoworry’boutmeburningtheirhousedownthen,wouldthey?”A

sloppy,self-amusedgrinspreadacrossMarshall’sfacebeforehetookanotherlongdrawofwhiskey.

Beinginashittyplacewasonething,butnotgivingadamnaboutthetwopeoplewhowoulddo

justaboutanythingforhim…

SomethingsnappedinAlex.HewhippedthebottleoutofMarshall’shandbeforehecouldlower

itfromhismouth.MarshallsworeathimasAlexspuntowardthestainless-steelsinkandpurposely
hitthebottleonthesideofitashardashecould.Theglassbroke,shardslandinginthesink,andthe
vileliquidrandownthedrain.

“Whatthehellareyoudoing?”MarshallyelledashelungedforAlex.
Alexheldhimoff,butasheturnedtodroptheneckofthebottleintothesink,Marshalllanded

anoff-centerpunchonthesideofhisjaw.Alexshovedhimaway,sendingMarshall,whowasshort
onbalanceanyway,intothecounterontheoppositesideoftheroom.

AlexrandownthebasementstairstoMarshall’sbachelorcave.Thestench,likethatofafilthy

bar,wassostronghiseyeswatered.Dirtydishesandtake-outtrashlitteredthelivingarea,alongwith
countlessemptybottlesandpilesofwrinkledclothing.

HesearchedforanyfullbottlesasMarshallthunderedunevenlydownthestairsafterhim.A

singleonestoodontheendtable,lidstillsealed.Alexwingeditwithallhisstrengthagainstthe
concretewallsixfeetawayasMarshallhitthefootofthestairsandroundedthecornertowardhim.
Thecrashofglassshatteringwasminutelysatisfying.

“You’velostyourdamnmind!”Marshallwentforhimagain.
Alexeasilysidesteppedhimandshovedhimontothedisgustingcouch.“Youhavetoquit

drinking,man!You’regoingtokillyourself.Orsomeoneelse.Wherethehellareyourcarkeys?”

MarshallgotupforanotherroundasAlexsearchedtheclutter.ThenherememberedMarshall’s

idiotichabitofleavingthekeysintheignition.Hetookoffupthestairstocheckforthem,hisbrother
railingathimtheentireway,lumberingmoreslowlybehindhim.Alexrushedoutthedoorintothe
garage,openedtheAcuraand,sureenough,therewerethekeys.HeyankedthemoutjustasMarshall
burstoutthedooranddownthetwowoodenstepstowardhim.

“Youcanhavethemwhenyou’resober,”Alexsaid,slippingthemintohisfrontpocket.
MarshallleaptatAlex,awildlookinhisredeyes.Hethrustallhisweightonhim,knocking

Alexintothesideofthecar.

“Idon’tknowwhothehellyouthinkyouare!”Marshallyelled,catchinghimwithapunchnear

hiseye.

Alexeasilymanagedtothrowhissmallerbrotheroffhimagain,landinghimonthehardgarage

floor.Thatdidn’tfazeMarshall.HemovedfasterthanAlexwould’vethoughtpossibleandcameup
swinging.AlexclockedhimunderthenoseandMarshallgrabbedhisface,stumblingtotheotherside
ofthegarage.Heleanedagainstthewallandtheairwasfilledwiththesoundsofbothofthem
gaspingforbreath.

Marshalltookhishandawayfromhisnose.Bloodpoureddownhisfaceandoverhishand.He

calledAlexacrudename.“ThatMcCabegirlmakesyoucrazyorsomething.”

“Thatwasallcausedbyyou,”Alexsaidinadeceptivelycalmvoice.“Taylorhadnothingtodo

withit.”

“Youneedtostaythehellawayfromher.”
“Yougetyourdamnlifetogether,man.Untilthen,I’mnotlisteningtoathingyouhavetosay.”
Alexstrodepasthim,refusingtoentertaintheideathathisbrothermighthaveavalidpoint.

CHAPTERTWENTY-TWO

ATURDAYEVENINGWASPERFECT

foraromanticdinnercruiseonthelake.Notacloudinthesky,enoughheat

leftoverfromthedaythatthecooleraironthewaterwasrefreshing.Boattraffichaddwindledas
sunsetapproached.

Ajazzquartetfilledtheairwithsoothingmusicfromthedeckasaformallydressedwaitermade

hiswayaroundtheenclosedlowerleveloftheboattakingafter-dinnerdrinkorders.Taylorscooped
thelastbiteoftherichest,densestchocolatecakeshe’devertastedintohermouth.

Herdate,BrianPaulsen,orderedeachofthemanotherglassofwine,thencontinuedtheir

friendlydebateontheimpactofcruisessuchasthisonthelakeanditsenvironment.

Overthepasttwohours,sincetheirdatehadbegun,conversationhadbeenongoing,intelligent,

provocative.Taylorhadn’tbeenforcedtodipintoherreservelistoffill-the-awkward-silencetopics
once.Whichwasarelief.Ifanything,Briantalkedtoomuch.However,shecouldoverlookthatminor
pointinexchangeforthesecuritythatthismandidnotplaymorethantheoccasionalcomputergame,
andhehadn’tbeenseriouslyinvolvedwithanyoneforalmostayear.

Ashe’dhumblyadmittedthathisdatinglifehadbeenalmostnonexistentoflate,Taylorhad

smiledandnodded.Sheignoredthefleetingvoiceinherhead—theonethatsoundedalotlikeAlex—
cautioninghertobewareofamanwhowillinglyadmittedtohavingtroublegettingadate.Until
recently,she’dbeeninthesameposition,shereasoned.

Brianwasalistguy,throughandthrough.Thechiefoperationsofficeratanationalnot-for-

profitorganizationbasedhereinMadison,hewasdrivenandsuccessful.She’dmethimataChamber
ofCommercehappy-hourmixershe’dtakenViennatoearlyintheweek—he’dnervouslyapproached
herduringanuncomfortablemomentwhenViennahadbeenoffintroducingherselftosomeonein
thepublicrelationsdepartmentofthecity’sbaseballteam,leavingTaylorbyherselfandfeeling
conspicuous.

Aftermorethanahalfhourofthetwoofthemstickingtogetherinanunspokenalliancethat

savedthemfromhavingtomingle,Taylorhaddonesomethingshe’dneverdonebefore.Something
sheneverwouldhavebelievedshecoulddojustmonthsago—she’dsuggestedtheyshouldgoout
sometime.Brianhadenthusiasticallyagreed,andhe’dcalledherthenextdaywiththeinvitationto
tonight’scruise.

Asthewaiterreturnedwiththeirwineandbeganclearingthesmalltable,sheallowedherselfto

reallyobservethemansittingacrossfromher.Hewastellingherastoryfromhischildhoodabout
hisauntandaboatshe’downed.Taylorwasonlyhalflistening,absorbedasshewasinherpost-
dinnerassessmentofherdate.

Heworeajacketandtie,appropriateforthisparticularcruise,andshenotedhowpreciselyhis

tiewasknotted,howitrested,perfectlystraight,onthepin-stripeddressshirt.AnimageofAlexafter
theweddingtwoweeksagocrowdedintoherhead.Shecouldn’thelprememberinghowhe’dthrown
histieaside,rolledhissleevesup.Howcomfortableinhisskinhe’dlooked.Drippingwithblatantsex
appeal.

Butwhatkindofmandidshewanttospendherlifewith?Thetie-thrown-on-the-countertypeor

thetie-in-perfect-positiontype?

Andthentherewasthesmallmatterthatthechoicewasn’therstomake.Thiswasherveryfirst

datewithBrian,sowhoknewwheretheywouldendup?Andshewasn’tanymoreAlex’stypethanhe
washers.

SherealizedBrianwaslookingatherexpectantlyandgatheredhe’daskedheraquestion.Lord,

shehadn’theardathinghe’dsaidforthepastfewminutes.

“I’msorry,thewinemustbegettingtome.”Shefelthercheeksflushing.“Imissedwhatyou

asked.”

“Nobigdeal.Shallweseeaboutseatsonthedeckbythemusicians?”
Relievedthathedidn’tmakeanissueofherinattention,shenoddedandstoodalongwithhim.

Hegrabbedhernearlyfullwineglassandhelditouttoherand,foraninstant,shewonderedifhis
planwastogethertipsy,tolowerherguard.Admittedly,thethoughthadnobasis.Hewasjustbeing
polite.

Politewasonthelist.
Asshetooktheglassfromhim,shehadaflashofAlexhandingherajuiceglassofmerlot

beforeherfirstdatewith…

Noneofthatborethinkingofrightnow,whenshewaswithamanwhowasso…idealforher.
Brianledherthroughthedoorwaytothefrontdeck.Itwasmorecrowdedouthere,buthe

managedtoscorethemtwostoolsatthenarrowcounteralongthewallseparatingthedeckfromthe
dinnerarea.Hesatontheoneclosesttothewaterandshesettlednexttohim.Thoughhepartially
blockedit,shestillcaughtthebreezecomingoffthewaterandshivered.Hersleevelessdresslefther
armsexposed,andnowthatthesunwasfallingfasttowardthehorizon,shewishedshe’dbroughta
wrap.

Brianrestedhiswarmhandonherarm,whichhelpedmarginally.Astheylistenedtothe

relaxingmusic,shestudiedhishand.Itwaswhite-collaralltheway,nailsneatlymanicured,wispsof
lighthaironeachthinfinger.Gentlestrength.Reassuringinaway.Unlike,say,Alex’shands,which
wereroughandcalloused.Brimmingwithrawmasculinitythatcouldmakehersquirm.

Whatwaswrongwithher?
ThiswasnotthetimetobethinkingofAlex.Itwasjustthatshewasmorecomfortablearound

himthanBriansimplybecausesheknewhimbetter.It’donlytakenseventeenyearsorsoforherto
relaxwithAlex.

Brianbentcloseandcommentedonthemusic,hiswarmbreathbrushinghercheek.Taylor

glancedupathimandcaughthisgaze.Hesmileddownather.Hehadanicesmile.Hewasanice,
considerateman.

Forsomeonewhowassupposedlysosmart,shewasactinglikequitetheidiot.BrianPaulsen

wasalistman.Sofar,hehiteverylastoneofherrequirements.Sheleanedintohimandvowedto
banishAlexfromhermindfortherestofthenight.

UNDAYSWERETHEWORST

.TheyhadbeeneversinceQuinn’sdeath.Well,beforethat,too,Taylorsupposed.

Itdidn’treallymakesensethatlosingQuinnhadmadethedaylonelier—he’dbeenseventhousand
milesawayforyearsbeforetheaccident.But…itwastheknowing,sheguessed.Knowingshewas
totallyalone,withnofamily,norealfriends.

NowshewasluckytocountViennaasafriend,andshealmosthadwhatonemightconsidera

sociallife.Halfofone,attheveryleast.AndyetSundaysstillfoundherrestlessandlonely.

Shewandereddownthehallway,theclosedbathroomdoormakingherwonderwhyAlexhadn’t

shownuptodaytofinishthefloor.Confidenthe’deventuallydoit,shemovedon,wentfromroomto

room,lookingforacleaningprojectorsomethingshe’dmissedinherpreparationtocallaRealtor.
Shewasnothingifnotthorough,though.Quinnwouldhaveafielddayifhecouldseehernow.She
smiledsadlyasLorienfollowedherintoherofficeandwovearoundherlegs.

“You’vebeenfed,beast,”shesaid.“Whichmeansyouwantlove.”
Didn’ttheyall?
Shepickedupthecatandcuddledherclose.Thesoundandvibrationofeitherofherpets’

purringwasnormallyasourceofcomfort,buttodaynothingseemedtoalleviateherdiscontent.

ShecarriedLorientothekitchen,callingElanorasshewentandnearlygettingtrampledbythe

secondcat.Onceinthekitchen,shesetthebluepointonthefloorandservedupgourmetkittytreats,
astheyknewshewould.Whilethetwocatsburiedtheirfacesintheminipiles,Taylorwalkedout,
headedforthefrontdoorwithoutadestinationinmind.Thehousewasclosinginonher.

Shegrabbedherkeysonthewayandfeltinherjeanspocketforhercellphoneoutofhabit.

Pullingthelockeddoorshutbehindher,shebreathedinfreshairandfeltmarginallybetter.Shehada
longwaytogotoanythingresemblingcontentment.

Sheignoredthenaggingthoughtthatitwentbeyondthedayoftheweek.
Mr.Petrowski,herelderlyneighboracrossthestreet,wasoutinhisfrontyarddiggingup

dandelionsonebyone.Heslowlystraightenedwhenherdoorclosed,wavedather.Taylorwaved
back,consciousofherlackofpurpose.She’dstormedoutsideand…what?Wherewasshegoing?

Thepark.Shewalkedtotheendofthedriveway,noticingtheweedsthathadpoppedupinthe

pavementcracks.Shetookoutherphoneandstartedafreshlistofoutdoorchores.She’daddtoit
later.Asshetookarightturnonthesidewalk,herphonevibratedinherhand,startlingher.Sherarely
gottextsontheweekendswhenshedidn’thavetokeepincontactwithhercolleagues.

Lastnightwasperfect.Thankyou.

Brian.

Shesmiled.Maybehergrinwasalittlethin,butshewastired.They’dbeenoutuntilcloseto

eleven,takingadriveandtalkingoncethedinnercruisehadended.

Hewasagoodguy.
Havingtoremindherselfofthatrepeatedlysignifiedaproblem.
Taylorstuckherphonebackinherpocketassheturnedintotheparkandwentfortheswings.

She’dthinkofareplylater.Maybeflyingwouldhelpherstateofmind.

Pumpingherlegsbackandforth,shegainedheight.Gotthatfunnyfeelinginherbellyatthetop

ofeachswing.Itwasn’tnearlyasmuchfunwithoutafriend,though,andsheletherselfgradually
decelerateuntiltheswinglostallmomentum.

Laughterandshoutsofchildrendrewherattentiontotheplaygroundontheothersideofthe

park.Twoboys,maybetenorelevenyearsold,playedrowdilyontheteeter-totter.Shecouldtell
fromherethey’dmadeabattleofit,eachofthemseeingwhocouldlandhardenoughontheground
tomaketheothergoairborne.Witheachbounce,theybothholleredcompetitively.Up.Down.The
effectwaslikewatchingaverticalPing-Ponggame.

Shepushedoutoftheswingandwalkedtothefattrunkofanold,toweringtree.Sittingagainst

theroughbarkwasconsiderablymorecomfortablethanbeingwedgedinaplasticform-sucking
swing.Theboyswerestillinhersight,stillbouncingupanddown.Likeherrestlessmind.

Shepulledoutherphoneagainandopenedablanknotepadscreen.TypedinBrianatthetopand

hitReturn.

Yes,listswouldalwaysbehercomfortzone,herlittleislandofsecuritywhenevershefeltoutof

control.Justaddingthenumber1nowcalmedherslightly.Sheenteredhisattributes.

1.Meets10/10listcriteria(or9.5…jury’soutonhealth-conscious.)
2.Goodconversationalist.
3.Attractive.
4.Creativedateidea.
5.Well-off.(Notthatthisisnecessary!)
6.Easytobewith.
7.Safe,respectablecareer.
8.…

Shestaredattheboysinthedistance,thinking,tryingtocomeupwithmorepositivepoints.But

hermindkeptgettingsidelined.Afterseveralreturnsonthescreen,shetypedagain.

Alex.
1.…

Shepickedatthegrass,lostinthought.Theboysranoff,thesilenceseemedtobuzzinherears.

Tiltingherheadbackagainstthetrunk,sheabsentlywatchedabirdflitaroundinthebranchesabove.
Shetossedherphoneintothegrassbesideher.

Itwasnouse.
ShecouldsithereandtrytoconvinceherselfthatBrianwouldmakeherhappyuntiltheleaves

felloffthetreeandthesnowstartedfalling.ShecouldtellherselfAlexwaswrongforheronpaper
andinreallife.Shecouldrepeatthewordstillhervoicewashoarse,butitwouldn’tchangethetruth
thatwasstaringherintheface.

She’dfalleninlovewithAlex.
Taylorclosedhereyes,feelingnoneofthelightnessthatloveshouldbring.
Denyingithadgottenherbyforonlysolong,andnowtherewasnoavoidingthetruth.Ifshe

couldchoosewhoshefellinlovewith,she’dpicksomeonelikeBrian.Someonewhomadeagood
matchwithher.Someonewhocalledtheirnighttogether“perfect.”

Notsomeonewho,mostdays,couldn’tstopfeelingresponsibleforherduetoarandomtragic

accidentthatheblamedhimselffor.

Sonowwhat?
Sonow…nothing.
Becauseitcamedowntothefactthat,whileAlexmightnotfitonherlistorbehertypeofguyat

all,theevenbiggerissuewasthatshewasn’tAlex’stypeofgirl.Tohim,shewashisbestfriend’s
littlesister.Itdidn’tmatterifhecalledherScarletorTaylor.Hewouldneverlethimselfloveher.

CHAPTERTWENTY-THREE

OMEWHATAPPROPRIATELY

,TaylorsaidaprayerMondayeveningonthewaytoSaintPatty’sTavernthat

Alexhadalreadyleft.

Shehadn’thadenoughtimetogethereverything’s-fine-we’re-just-friendsfaceonyet.Buthe’d

saidViennaneededher,sohereshewas.

She’djustgottenhomefromwork,ontimeorclosetoitforonce,exhaustedafterasleepless

night.Whenshe’dseenhisnumberonhercallerID,herhearthadflippedoutandthenshe’dtold
herselfthatwasapointlessreaction.Shewasproudofhowquicklyshe’dtalkedherselfdown.

Navigatingthebar ’scrumblingfrontwalkwastrickythistime,asshehadn’thadachanceto

changeoutofherthree-and-a-half-inchblack-and-whiteleopardslingsorherworkclothes.Her
whitepencilskirtandblackruffledshellweredefinitelyoverkillforSaintPatty’s.

Whensheopenedthedoor,ittookallofthreeseconds,whilehereyesadjustedtothedarker

interior,tofigureoutherprayershadn’tbeenanswered.Alexstoodatthebackoftheroomnearthe
doorwaybetweenthebarandthekitchen,talkingtothemalebartender.Facingthefrontdoor.Staring
atTaylorashespoke.Shecouldn’thearhiswordsoverthejukeboxbutshecouldmakeouthisvoice.
Andidentifyhisbodyfromamileaway.

TheMondaydinnercrowdwasbiggerthantheFriday-nightoneintheseparts.BesidesVienna,

whosatatatableintheoppositebackcornerfromherbrother,andwhodidn’timmediatelynotice
Taylor,twoothertableswereoccupied,andthreepeoplesatatthecounter.

Taylormadeherwaytowardherfriend.WitheverystepshewasawareoftheweightofAlex’s

gazeonher.Ridiculouslyself-conscious,shefeltasifshewasjustlearningtowalkinheelsand
fearedshewouldenduponherfaceanysecond.ShemadeitallthewaytoVienna’stablebeforeshe
weakenedanddartedaglanceinAlex’sdirectionagain.Attemptedanonchalantsmileathim,ashe
stillwatchedher.WhensheturnedtoVienna,shefoundherfriendgaugingtheexchangewithtoo
muchinterest.

“Whatareyoudoinghere?”ViennaaskedasTaylorpulledachairoutandsatdown.
Vienna’susualcheerfulnesswasmissing,thoughshewastryingtohideitwithahalfhearted

smileofgreeting.Twobeercanssatonthetableinfrontofher,herhandononeofthemasifdaring
someonetotrytopryitfromher.

“Alexsaidyouwereupset.Icamerightover.”
Sheshotaglareatherbrother.“WhendidyoutalktoAlex?”
“Fifteenminutesago.Hecalledme,”Taylorexplained.“What’sgoingon,Vee?”
“Youdidn’thavetocallTaylor,”ViennasaidasAlexstrodeuptothetable.“Must’vedoneit

whenIwasinthebathroom.”Shemutteredthelasttoherself.

“Ifsomething’swrong,whydidn’tyoucallme?”Taylorasked.Clearlysomethingwasup.
“IfiguredyouwereattheITProfessionalsmixertonight.Whyaren’tyou?”
TayloravoidedAlex’sinterestedgazeashetookthechairnexttoher.“I…I’mtakinganight

off.”Atleastone.Thethoughtofforcingherselftogooutandbesocialagainwaspainful.She
neededabreak.

“HowwasSaturdaynight?”Viennaasked,perkingup.“Everythinggookay?”

Taylorshouldhavecalledheryesterdaytoreport.Thenshewouldn’thaveAlexgivingherthat

lookrightnow,waitingforhertotellall.

“Itwentreallywell.”Sheansweredthequestionhonestly.Somaybeitwasmisleading,butshe

wasn’treadytoconfessthattherehadbeennospark.NotyettoVienna,anddefinitelynottoAlex.

ShemadethemistakeofglancingatAlexthenandsawhisjawtighten.Orthoughtshedid,

anyway.Maybehewasn’tpayinganyattentiontothem.

“YouknowIneeddetails,”Viennasaid.
“Firstyouneedtotellmewhat’swrong.”Taylorfrowned,fiddledwiththenapkinholderinthe

middleofthetable.“I’llfillyouinlater.”

Herfriendexhaled.“It’snotthatbigadeal.IjustheardfromHughSamuelsthatIdidn’tgetthe

jobwithyourcompany.”

“What?”TaylorputherhandonVienna’sarm.“Nooo.I’msosorrytohearthat.Whatdidhe

say?”

“Standardlines.Blahblah,impressedwithyou,someonewithmoreexperiencethistime,yada

yada.”Viennapickedupherbeerandtookaswallow.Shestaredatthecanasshesetitbackinfrontof
her.“I’mokay.Justdisappointed.Youdidn’thavetocallTaylor,”sherepeatedtoAlex.

“I’mnotgoodathandlingthiskindofthing.Youknowthat.”
“There’snothingtohandle.Youorderedmeabeer.Two.That’sallanyonecando.”Viennatried

tomakehervoicelightbutitdidn’treallywork.

“Where’sthewhitechocolatemartini?”Taylorasked.
“Patty’snotheretonight.Shewon’ttellanyonehowshemakesthem.Theyalltrybutnoonecan

doitright.Kindofabeersituationanyway.”Shetookanotherunladylikeswig.“Speakingof…you
needadrink.”

“Whatdoyouwant?”Alexasked,standing.
Taylorallowedherselftolookdirectlyathimandnoticedthebruisingaroundhislefteye.

“Whathappenedtoyou?Didyougetinafight?”

“Brotherlylove.”
“Youshouldseetheotherguy,”Viennasaid.“Luckyme,Ilivewithbothofthem.”
“Beveragechoice?”Alexclearlywasn’tgoingtodiscussmore.
“Justtea.”
Onesideofhismouthhitchedupwardinahalfsmirk.“Gingkoblend?”
“Dotheyhaveone?”
“Theyhaveajarofinstantcrystals.”
Shenarrowedhereyesathim,takingasecondtograspthathewasmessingwithher.Hissteel-

coloredgazewasamused,andshecouldn’thelpthinkinghowshelovedthatlook.Forwhatevergood
itdidher…

“Dotheyhavewater?”shethrewbackathim.
Appreciation—approval?—flittedacrosshisgazeashestudiedherforamoment.Ormaybeshe

imaginedit.Regardless,asurgeofemotionhither—onethathenodoubtdidn’tshare—andshe
glancedquicklyatVienna,hopingshe’dmissedthesilentback-and-forth.

Shehadn’t.AsAlexwalkedofftogetTaylor ’swater,Viennalookedbetweenthem.Thankfully

shesaidnothing.

“Anotherbeerforme,please,”Viennacalledoutafterhim.
“Ican’tbelievetheydidn’thireyou,”Taylorsaid,itchingtogetthespotlightoffherself,butalso

genuinelyshocked.“ItalkedtoHugh.Heravedaboutyou.”

“He’saman,”Viennasaidmatter-of-factly.“Stupidmen.”
“Yousaidit.I’ddrinktothatifIhadadrink.”

“What’supwithwater?”
“It’sMondaynight.I’malloverthesupportthingbutI’vegotameetingfirstthingtomorrow

andIcan’tbefuzzy-brained.”

“Youcouldalwaysjustwashthedrunkoffintheshower,”Alexsaidasherejoinedthem.
“Youhaveapoint,”Taylorconceded,keepingastraightface.Shetookthebottledwaterfrom

him.“I’llbethedesignateddrivertonight.You,”shesaidtoVienna,“dowhatyouhavetodo.”

Viennafinishedoffbeernumbertwoandtookthenextcanfromherbrother.“I’monit.Stupid

men.”

Taylorchuckled.
“ThisiswhyyouneededTaylor,”Alexsaid.“I’mnotupfortheman-bashing.”
“You’retoogoodtome,armyguy.Haveaseat.”
Heshookhishead.“I’mtakingoffinacouple.I’mconfidentScarletherewilllookafteryou.”
ShewasinlovewithhimandhewasbacktoScarlet.Fabulous.
Pathetically,Taylorwasdisappointedwhenhedidn’tglanceather.Evenmoresowhenhe

headedbacktothebarandpickeduphisconversationwiththemanbehinditwithoutanotherwordto
her.

Whatdidsheexpect,though?Nothinghadchangedbetweenthem.This—havinghimcallherto

comforthissister,runningintohimatahole-in-the-wallbar—wasasgoodasitgot.

ShetriedtoignorehispresenceassheandViennahashedoverHugh’searlierphonecalland

thendiscussedtheothercompaniesViennahadtargeted.Taylorcouldn’thelpherself—shemadealist
ofthemonherphoneasherfriendrattledthemoff.

“You’vegotalotofexcellentprospects,”Taylorsaid,typingaway.
“Thankstoyou.”
“IguessOperationChecklistwasgoodforsomething.”
Alex’svoiceroseashecalledoutagoodbyetothebartenderandheadedforthefrontdoor.No

glanceather.Notthatshewaswaitingforone.Much.

“Okay,spillit,”Viennasaid.
Drat.Taylorwasn’tsurewhatViennawantedhertospillbutshecouldeasilyguessitwasn’t

somethingshewascomfortabletalkingabout.

“I’mempty,”shesaid,liftingthedepletedwaterbottle,fullyawarethatplayingstupidwouldn’t

distractherfriend.Shecouldn’ttalkaboutAlex,though.Toanyone.

“Tay,thisismehere.What’sgoingonbetweenyouandmybrother?”
“Nothing.”Shetookthecapofftheemptybottle.ScreweditbackonwhileViennastaredather.
“Thatwasn’t‘nothing.’Theteasingbackandforthisonething,butthelooksbetweenyoutwo?

I’mnotblind.”

Taylorfelttheslowburncrawluptohercheeks.She’dalwaysbeenopenwithViennaaboutthe

guysshe’dgoneoutwith,eventhoughitwashardforher.ButAlex…Viennawastooclosetohim.
AndTaylor ’semotionsweretooraw.Shewasinunchartedterritoryandhadnoideahowtonavigate
it.Shewouldn’tevenknowwhattosayifshewereabletostart.Alumpblockedherthroatandshe
shookherhead.

Viennastaredather.Leanedbackinherchairandcrossedherarms.“Ifyou’renotgoingtotalk

tome,let’sgetoutofhere.”Hertoneleftnodoubtshewastickedoff.Shepushedherchairbackand
angledtowardthebar,askingtheguybehinditwhatsheowed.

“Alexcoveredit,”thebartendersaid.“You’regood.Takecareofyourself.”
Hatingthatherfriendwasupsetbecauseofher,Taylorfollowed.Whensheclearedthebuilding,

shesawViennaheadingtowardthesidewalk,obviouslyintendingtowalkhome.

“Vienna,comeback.I’llgiveyouaride.Please?”

Viennatiltedherheadasifconsidering,thenturnedaroundandapproachedTaylor ’scar.“Can

wegetsomefood?”

“Soundsgood.Yourchoice.”

WhenTaylorsaidViennacouldchoosedinner,shehadn’tguessedshe’dfindherselfonthe

lakeshoreatamostlydesertedpublicbeacheatingChunkyMonkeyicecreamfromthecontainerwith
aplasticspoon.Thebananasinithadtogiveitsomehealthbenefits,right?

They’drunintothegrocerystoreandthenstoppedatTaylor ’ssoshecouldchangeclothes.

Viennahadn’tspokenmuch,andTaylorwasn’tsureifshewasmoreupsetaboutthejoborannoyed
withTaylor.

Theysatonsmoothgraybouldersatthewater ’sedge.Viennahadkickedoffherflip-flopsand

dippedhertoesinthewaterassheshoveledicecreamintohermouth.Theeveningsunstillwarmed
theairandTaylorbrieflyconsideredthatitwashotenoughtoburnherfairskiniftheywereoutfor
morethanafewminutes.Shewatchedalonegooseswimgracefullypastthemafewfeetout,leaving
atinywake.Thebirdmadegoingsoloseemsopeaceful,soeasy.

“I’mnotreallyusedtohavingsomeonetoconfidemysecretsto,”Taylorsaid,herspoonlodged

uprightinhericecream.“I’msorry.Ididn’tmeantohurtyourfeelings.”

Viennashookherhead,gazingoutatawaterskierinthemiddleofthelake.“It’syourbusiness,

Tay.Ifyouwanttokeepittoyourself,that’syourdecision.”Shescoopedanotherspoonful.“Just
knowthatIwouldn’ttellanyoneormakefunofwhateveryousay.”

TaylorthoughtbacktothefirstnightViennaandAlexhadsatinherkitchenasshetroubleshot

Vienna’slaptop.AlexhadblurtedouthergoaloffindingadateandTaylorhadexpectedViennatobe
amused.Shehadn’tbeen.NotonceinTaylor ’swholesummerpursuitofalistguyhadVienna
violatedthattrustormadeherfeelridiculous.

Logically,Taylorrealizedherfearswereunfounded.Convincingherselftospeakupwas

anothermatterentirely.

Sheplayedwithherspoon,draggingitaroundinthepartiallyemptypintcontainer,diggingout

avalleyinthemiddle.Realizingshe’dlostherappetite,sheleanedoverandsetthepackageonthe
ground.Whenshestraightened,shefollowedVienna’sleadandstareddirectlyahead.

“Isleptwithyourbrother.”
Viennamadeachokingnoise,hereyespoppingwideopenasshefacedTaylor.Shepattedher

chest.“Letmegetpasttheickfactorofknowinganythingaboutmybrother ’ssexlife…?.”

“Sorry.”
“Don’tbe.I’moverit.”Sherotatedonherrockandmanagedtocrossherlegswithoutfalling

off.“Iknewsomethingwasgoingonbetweenyoutwo.I’vesuspecteditforweeks.”

“Weeks?”Taylorwonderedjusthowtransparentshe’dbeen.
“IstoppedbuyingtheprotectiveolderbrotherroutinefromAlexlongago.He’seasytoread.”
Taylorstaredatherfriend,confused.“Um,Alexisprettyindifferent,actually.”
Viennashookherhead.“Oh,honey,Idon’tthinkso.Sotellmewhat’sgoingon.Iwantdetails…

withoutdetails,ifyouknowwhatImean.”

Taylorbalancedherselfandpulledherkneesuptoherchest.“IguessI’veprettymuchalways

hadacrushonhim.HeandQuinnweremyknightsinshiningarmorgrowingup.”Shewentinto
detailaboutthetimesAlexhaddefendedher.“Heroworship,Iguess,”shesaid,smilingwistfully.
Thoughshewouldn’tgobacktothosedaysforanything,they’dbeensomewhatsimplertimes.

“He’sagoodguy,”Viennasaid.“Deepdown.Sometimeshecoversitupprettywell.”

“Itwasthenightofmycoworker ’swedding…”
“Aha!Ishouldhaveguessedthat.Iknewhowlatehewasthatnight,andthenyoutoldmehetook

youtothewedding.Duh.”

“Youaskedme,actually.SorryIlied.Iwasjust…itwastoomuch.”
“Idon’tknowhowImissedthat.Soyouguyshavebeensupersecretloverseversinceorwhat?”
Taylorshookherhead.“No.Notatall.Justtheonenight.”
“That’swhenyoudoubledyoursocialefforts,right?Rightafterthewedding.Youwentkindof

nutsaboutgoingoutandmeetingpeople.”

TaylorfilledherinonBrianandthe“perfect”date.Howshecouldn’tstopcomparinghimto

Alex.Couldn’tgethimoutofherhead.

“You’vegotitbad,”Viennasaid.Therewastoomuchexcitementinhervoice.
Taylordidn’tsayanything.Shecouldn’tquitebringherselftoadmittotheL-wordoutloud.But

judgingbyVienna’sanimation,shedidn’tneedto.

“Whatareyougoingtodoaboutit?”herfriendasked.
“Notathing.He’snotintoit,Vee.ImaybesociallydensebutIcanspotthatfromamileaway.”
Viennashookherhead,ascheminglookonherface.“Ithinkyou’rewrong.Hecaresabout

you.”

“Hedoesn’tloveme.Won’tloveme.”
“Howdoyouknow?”
“Ijust…do.Lookatme,Vienna.I’manawkwardcomputergeek.He’s…hecoulddosomuch

betterthanme.Andthat’sifhewasn’tbeatinghimselfupdailyaboutmybrother.”

Viennahoppedoffherrockandstartedtopace.“Youdidnotjustsaythatbitaboutdoingbetter

thanyou.You’regorgeous,Tay.AndAlexiswayawareofthat.”Shesmiledconspiratorially.“This
couldbesomuchfuntowatch.”

Taylorwasn’tfeelingherglee.“There’snothingtosee.”
“Haveyoudiscussedanyofthiswithhim?”
“Lord,no.”
“Whynot?”
“WhywouldI?”
Viennaclutchedathershorthair.“Taylor!Whatifyoucouldhaveafuturewithhim?”
Icouldn’t.Shedidn’tsaythewordsaloudbuttheyrangthroughherheadloudandclear.
“He’llbegoingbackoverseassoon,”shesaidinstead.
“So?That’snotforsure,andevenifhedoes,whoknowswhenitwillbe.”Viennastopped

pacingandsettledbackonherrock.“Iunderstandthatyou’rescared,Taylor.Allofusgothrough
that.”

Shedoubtedit,butkeptsilent.
“Okay.”Viennastoodagain.“Forgetthefuture,sincewhoknowswhatthatwillbring.What

abouttherightnow?Can’tyouhavefunwithhimnow,foraslongashe’shome?”

“Definefun.”
“Gooutwithhim.Takehimtothenextworkpicnic,amovie,thesymphony.Idon’tknow.Sleep

withhim.Takeshowerswithhim.Okay,havetostopthere.He’sstillmybrother.”

Taylorsmiledinspiteofherself.
“IguesshemustnotthinkI’mrepulsiveifhespentthenightonce…”
“Ofcoursehedoesn’t,dork.Helikesyou,Taylor.Hechoosestospendmoretimeatyourhouse

thanathome,andIdon’twanttohearanythingaboutyoupayinghimtowork.”

“It’strue.”
“Hedoesn’tneedthemoney,honey.Trustme.Hetalkedaboutpayingcashforanewcarwhenhe

firstgotbackandI’mprettysurethatwasn’tgoingtobreakhim.”

Taylor ’smindwasspinning.ViennahadapointaboutjusttryingtoenjoybeingwithAlexwhile

shecould.Itdidn’tmeanhehadtobethemanshemarried.Maybehewouldn’tflat-outrejectherfor
justspendingtimetogether.Lowstakes.“Thethingis…Idon’tknowifIcaninitiateanything.”

“Youdon’thavetoaskhimoutonarealdate.Haveamoviesittingonyourkitchencounter.Ask

himtowatchitwithyou.Gooutforburgersonthefly.You’recomingtomygraduationpartythis
weekend,right?”

“Ofcourse.”
“HangwithAlex.Hangalloverhimifyouwantto.”Awickedlaughedescapedher.
Thatsoundeddoable.Thehangingoutwithhimpart.Plusitwouldsolvetheproblemofnot

knowinganothersoulattheparty.“Imight.”

“Suityourself,”Viennasaid,scoopingaspoonfulofmeltedicecreamintohermouth.“Butstop

beingsoabsolute.Doesn’thavetobeallornothing.”

Relationshipsaregray,Alexhadsaid.Hefrequentlyaccusedherofseeingeverythingasblack

andwhiteandsheacknowledgedthat’sthewayshewas.

Butmaybeshecouldmakeanexceptioninthiscase.Learntoembracethegraysideinorderto

bewithAlex.Fornow.

“Iknowyou’vegotplentyonyourplatetogetreadyforyourpartybutI’lltryhangingaround

Alex.Ifyouhelpmefindsomethingtowear.”

“Inaheartbeat,”Viennasaid.“Let’sgo.You’regoingtoknockthatarmyguydead.”

CHAPTERTWENTY-FOUR

HECONVENIENTTHING

aboutkeepinganelectroniclistonherphonewasthatTaylorcoulddeletethe

wholedocumentwithasingleclickassoonasshecompletedit—ordecideditwasawasteofvirtual
space.

Likenow.Oralmostnow.
Deckedoutinafloralcream-and-peachsheathandfive-inchplatformheelswithlittlebowson

thefront,sheflippedthroughthevarious“notes”onherphoneasshewalkeddownthehardwood
hallway.Asshehitherhomeoffice,shefoundwhatshewaslookingfor:TopTenCharacteristics.

Shedidn’tbothertoreadthem.Shedid,however,emailthelisttoherself.Maybeshewasgoing

overboard,butthismomentfeltimportantsomehow.Itrequiredacertainamountof…drama.

Flippinghercomputeron,sheopenedheremailaccount,locatedthelistthatshe’djustsentand

hitPrint.Themultifunctionlaserprinteronthesidetableclickedtolifeandspatoutacopy.

Backonherphone,sheclickedonthetrashcaniconandsaid,“Bye-bye,”asthedigitallist

disappeared.

Lorienjumpedontheofficechairandpeeredupatherasthoughshe’dlosthermind.
“I’mjustgettingstarted,kitty.”
Bothcatsseemedtosenseimpendingchange,forgoodreason.Thehousehadbeenonthe

marketforthreedays.Severalpartieshadbeenthroughitandonewasdrawingupanoffer.

Thingsweresuddenlymovingsuperfast,andTaylorwasdeterminedtomakesomepersonal

changes,too.

Shegrabbedthepaperofftheprinterandsetthephoneaside.Herheelsechoeddownthehallto

thekitchenandElanordartedoutofherway.Onceinthekitchen,sheopenedthecatch-alldrawernext
tothestoveandhuntedthroughitlikeamadwoman.

Aha.Matches.
Tonightcalledforfire.
Shewalkedovertothekitchensink.Withthepaperonthecounterrightnexttoher,shestrucka

matchonthesideofthematchbox.Aflameshotupwardand,handshaking,shepickedupthepaper
andheldthematchtoonecorner.

Thepapercaughtimmediately,curlingintonothingnessasthefiredevouredit.Shestaredatthe

glowwithfascinationandahealthymeasureoffear,thinkingitwasluckyshedidn’thavesleevesthat
couldcatchfire.

Bitbybit,thetoptencharacteristicsdisappearedandtheflamesgrew.Atthefirsthintofheaton

herhand,shedroppedthepaperintothesink,readytoturnonthefaucetifnecessary.Shefoughtthe
urge,though,empoweredsomehowbythesightofthelistvanishing.

Shestaredattheashinthesinkafterthepaperwasgone,theburningscentintheairgivingher

theoddestsatisfaction.WhenLorienjumpeduponthecounter,Taylordidn’tevenscoldher.

“Well,kitty,heregoesnothing.”

IENNAHADALOTOFFRIENDS

.Alotofprettyfriends,AlexthoughtashelookedaroundtheWorthbackyard

frombehindtherentedbarcounterthey’dsetuponthepatio.Thecrowdedgatheringwasacross-
samplingofherlife,frompeopleherememberedfromkindergartentothoseshe’dintroducedas
grad-schoolbuddies.

AndyettheonlyonewhoreallycaughthisattentionwasTaylor.
Thedresssheworegavehimanalluringviewoftheslender,sexylegsthathadbeenimprinted

inhismemory—stretchedoutbesidehimandwrappedaroundhiminthemoonlight.Herheelswere
sohighitwasawondershecouldwalk,buttheydidamazingthingsforher.Theflowereddresswas
modestcomparedtosomeofthegetupshere,buthehadtroubletakinghiseyesoffthewayit
followedthecurvearoundherhips,cinchinginatthewaist.

Heitchedtorunhishandoverthatcurve,inthedressifhehadto,buthe’dpreferasmooth

expanseofpaleskinbeneathhisfingers.Herhairwaspulledupinacarefree,sexystyleunlike
anythinghe’deverseenonher.Fortunately,hewasstuckbehindthebardolingoutbeerandwine.

Theirmomhadgonealloutforherlittlegirl,asVeedeserved,puttingnocapontheguestlist.

Thefoodandbeveragespreadwasimpressive,withthreeexpansivetablespositionedaroundthe
yard,eachofferinganassortmentofappetizerssuppliedbyacateringcompany.She’dsprungforan
ungodlyamountofwineandbeerwiththeagreementthatAlexandMarshallwouldserveas
bartenders.OfcourseMarshallhadyettoshowhisface.Everyonewouldbebetteroffifhe’descaped
tosomebarfarfromthefestivities.

Alexsuspectedthiswas,inadditiontoacelebrationofVienna’sachievements,hismom’s

unofficialsalutetothebeginningofherempty-nestyears.Therewasthesmallissueofher
overgrownboysbunkingwithher,butAlex,forone,hopedtobeoutoftheresoon.Marshall—well,
itmightbebestifhewaskickedout.

CherylWorthwasinherelement.She’daddedseveralofherownfriendstotheguestlist—those

who’dknownViennasinceshewasborn.Neighbors,coworkers.Alexhadn’tseenherpulloutallthe
stopslikethissinceMarshallhadfinishedschool,backwhenAlexwasrelativelynewtothearmyand
hadmadeithomeonleavefortheparty.Alexwasthelonechildwhohadn’tdoneherproudwitha
degree,advancedorotherwise.Hehadahunchthattheirmotherwouldthrowabashthedayhe
resignedfromtheservice.

AshewasfillingaredplasticcupwithbeerfromthekegandgazingtowardTaylorinsteadof

thetap,hissistercameupontheothersideofhimandbumpedhimwithherhip.

“Guestofhonorisn’tsupposedtobebehindthebar,”hesaid,bumpingherback.
“Guestofhonorcanhelpherself.Especiallywhenthebartendertypeisstaringatoneofthe

guests.”

Alexfeignedintenseconcentrationongettingjusttherightheadonthebeer.Hehandedittothe

guyontheothersideofthetall,surprisinglysturdycounter,abookworm-hippy-looking
twentysomethingwhowasnodoubtfromthegrad-schoolcamp.Theguysaid,“You’rethebeer
master,man.Thanks.”

“Anytime.”AlexwatchedhimwalkoffthenturnedtoVienna.“Friendofyours?”
“Ofcourse,”shesaidenthusiastically.“Theyallare.”Shegiggledandheguessedshewas

alreadyfeelingthewine.

“Morechardonnay,princess?”Hetookherglassandpickeduptheopenedbottleofwhite.
Viennanodded.“IlikehowyouignoredthebitaboutmygoodfriendTaylor.”
“Whatbitwasthat?”Hefilledherglassthree-quartersofthewayfullandhandedittoher,then

turnedtothefemalepartygoerholdingoutanemptywineglass.

Hebusiedhimselfpouringthecabernetsherequested,hopingViennawouldwanderoffany

minutenow.

“Shelookshottonight,doesn’tshe?”hissistersaid.HecouldtellhereyeswereonTaylor,

thoughheavoidedlookingatherhimself.

“Somethingyouneedtotellme?”heasked.“Isthiswhyyounevergoondates?”
Viennaslappedhimlightlyonthearm.“Ilikeboys.Justnotnow.Ineedtoestablishmycareer.”
“Lotsofthemtochoosefromtonight.”
“They’remyfriends,Alex.Quitdiverting.”
“Diverting?Isthatafancymarketingterm?”Helaughedashehandedashort,curvyblondea

coldbeer.

Viennasetherglassasideandservedthenexttwopeopleatthesametime.
“Showoff,”Alexsaid.
“So.”Viennafacedhimnowthattherewasnoonewaitingforadrink.“YouandTaylor.”
“Thisagain?”Hehelpedhimselftoanunusedcupandcarelesslyfilledit.Tookagulpand

frownedattheamountoffoamontop.Heneededtobefiredfromthis“job”ifthatwasthebesthe
coulddo.Heflickedasmuchofthefoamoutofthecupashecould.

“It’sobviousyou’reattractedtoher,armyguy.”
Hesqueezedtheplasticcupuntilitmadecrackingsoundsandthebeveragewenttothetop.“It’s

notthateasy.”

Viennanonchalantlywavedatagroupacrossthepatiowhohadjustarrived.“You’remakingit

moredifficultthanithastobe.”

Twowomencameuptothebar,makingnosecretofthefactthattheywereeyeingAlex.Hewas

relievedfortheinterruption.

“WhatcanIdoforyouladies?”heasked.
Thebrunetteonhisleftleanedonthecounter,givinghimafront-rowseattoherampleand

exposedcleavage.Shedefinitelyknewhowtoaccentuateherassets.Hedidhisbesttokeephiseyes
onherbrownones,thinkingtheywereprettyeyesonceyoufinallynoticedthem.“Ifyoumeandrink-
wise,I’dlikeaglassofwhitewine.”Sheleftnoquestionthatshehadotherpossibilitiesonhermind.

“Page,yougirlsaretrollingfortroubletonight,”Viennasaid,amused.“Ihavetocautionyou,

though,thisismybrother.”Shewavedtowardthebackyard.“Manyotherbetter-adjustedguysout
there.”

“You’vebeenholdingoutonus,Vienna,”theotherwomansaid.Shehadshort,spiky,two-toned

hairandroundcheeks.Thoughlackingthecleavageofherfriend,heroutfit,atight-fitting,lacy
camisole,commandedattention,aswell.

“Pickyourpoison.”AlexheldabottleofchardonnayandoneofRieslingbeforePage.She

pointedattheRieslingandshothimaflirtylook.Inanothertimeandplace,maybeshewouldhave
sparkedhisinterest.

“You?”heaskedherfriendashepouredthefirstglass.
“I’mabeergirl.”Shewalkedtothesideofthehouseandcarriedoneofthebarstoolsthey’d

broughtupfromthebasementbacktothebar.Shesetitinfrontofthecounter,offtotheside,and
climbedontoit.Extendingherhand,shesaid,“Kylie.Nicetomeetyou…?”

“Alex,”hesaid,becausetherewasnowayoutofthis.Yet.Hewasstuckondrinkdutyuntil

Marshallshowedup.

“Wethoughtwe’dkeepyoucompany,Alex.”

HALFHOURLATER

,thelovelyladieswerestillkeepingAlexcompany.He’dplayednice,flirtedbackhere

andthereforthefirsttenorfifteenminutes.

AllthewhilePageandKylietriedtodrawhimintoconversation,he’dsubtlywatchedthreemen

monopolizeTayloroutnearhismom’sbirdbath.Theymadeherlaugh.Oneofthemhadtouchedher
damnarm.

Andherehewas.
Hetookadrinkofhisnow-warmbeer.JustaswellthattheBobbseyTwinswerecampedout.It

preventedhimfromstormingoverthereanddoingsomethingimpulsive.

IfViennahadinvitedtheguystoherparty,theyweremostlikelynotserialkillers.SoTaylor

wasn’tinanydanger.Whomshedecidedtotalktowasneitherhisbusinessnorhisproblem.

Hemanagedtocontinuetointeract—albeitinahalf-assedway—withhisapparentfanclubwhile

makingagameofprivatelyratingthewomenwhocameuptothebaronascaleofonetoten.He
probablywould’vegivenPageandKylieasevenandasixandahalfwhenthey’dfirstapproached,
butthey’deachhadapointdeductedforwearingouttheirwelcome.

Thesunhadsetandtheyardwasilluminatedbytikitorchesthatdoubledasbugrepellent.

Stringsofoutdoorlightsintheshapeofflip-flopswerestrungbetweentreesandaroundthewindows
ofthehouse.Thelaughtergotlouderasthelevelinthesecondkeggotlower.Theroaroftheparty
wouldprobablybebothersomeforthesurroundingneighbors,but,inageniusmove,hismomhad
invitedeverylastoneofthem.

Alex’stopratingsofarwasaneight,awardedtoaprettywomanwithlongblondhair,and,

wouldn’tyouknowit,shewaswithaskinny,academic-lookingguyinHarryPotterspectacles.Not
thatitmattered.Alexwasn’tonthehunttonight,merelydesperateforentertainmentwhilehetended
bar.

AshedrewanothertwobeersfromthekegfortheMooneys,wholivedtwodoorstothesouth,

hefeltafemininearmtrailacrosshisbackandaroundtohisside.Hebrieflyclosedhiseyes,
guessingKyliehaddisembarkedfromherstool.

“Hey,babe,Imissedyou.”
Taylor?
Callinghimbabe?
Makingamoveonhiminpublic?
Hewonderedwho’dslippedamickeyintothebeerhehadn’tmanagedtofinish.Ormaybeinto

herdrink.

GlancingaroundtoconfirmitwasinfactTaylorandnotanoveractiveimaginationonhispart,

hefinishedpouringthebeersandhandedthemtotheguests.Heturnedandlookedquestioninglyat
her.Taylorwidenedhereyesmeaningfully.Beforehecouldgraspherscheme,shesmiled
sympatheticallyatPage.

Shewasrescuinghim.
“Thereyouare,”hesaidwarmly,finallyplayingalongwithher.Heleaneddownandkissedher.

Addedsometongueactiontomakeitconvincing.Allpartofthecharade.

Likehell.
Whenhestoppedtogethisbearingsandremindhimselfthiswasforshow,Taylorsurprisedhim

againbypullinghimbacktoherlips.Whowashetorefuseher?

Page,who’dstillbeenhangingoverthebar,nowlatchedontoBillCopperfield,aneighborwith

abouttwentyyearsonher,butsingle.Maybethey’dmakeeachotherhappy.

“Youdidn’tmentionyouhadagirlfriend,”Kyliesaid,startingtosoundsloppy.
“Youdidn’task.”AlexbarelysparedheraglanceashesentTaylorathank-youwithhiseyes.
KyliepointedlylookedTaylorupanddown.“Iwouldn’thavepeggedherforyourtype.”
“Youwould’vebeenwrong,”hesaid,feelingTaylorstiffenatthecheerfullydeliveredinsult.He

pulledherclosetohissideandtherewasnocharadeinvolvedintheprotectivemove.Itcamewithout
thought,justasnaturallyaskissingherhadbeen.

Dangerousground,hetoldhimself.
“Wouldyoumindgrabbingmeanotherbeer?”KyliespoketoTaylorasshehandedoverher

emptycup.

AlextookitbeforeTaylorcould.“Mypleasure.”
Taylornarrowedhereyesmomentarily,thensmiledathimasshepickedupthebeertap.She

helditup,silentlyofferingtofillthecupwhileheheldit.Hechokedbackalaugh.WhoknewTaylor
hadsuchawickedsidetoher?

Whenthecupwasfull,hehandedittoKylie,whohadclimbeddownfromherself-madethrone.
“Thanks,sexy,”shesaid,thenturnedonherstilettoandstalkedofftofindhernextprey.
AlexturnedtothankTaylorbutfoundhertakingdrinkrequests.Inthepastfiveseconds,aline

hadappearedoutofnowhere.Hefellinbesideherandrefilledatleastadozenbeercupsasfastashe
could.

“Youdon’thavetohelp,”hesaidinTaylor ’sear.
“Iwantto.”Shehandedoverashiraztooneofhismom’sfriends.“I’veprettymuchexhausted

myparty-talkrepertoire.Havingajobisgood.”

Theyspentthenexthourservingdrinksalmostwithoutapause.Taylortookcareofpouring

wineandAlexwasthebeerguy.Hetappedthethirdandfinalkeg.

“Veehangsoutwithabunchofdrunks,”Alexsaidashewipedupthespilledbeerfromthe

counter.

Taylorshiftedherweightfromonefoottotheother.HergazelandedontheemptystoolKylie

hadoccupiedandshepulleditbehindthecounterandinchedherwayuponit.Crossingonelegover
theother,sheflexedhershoes.“Theylookalotbetterthantheyfeel.”

Hemeanttorespond.Maybehenodded.Buttheviewofhercalfandlowerthigh…
Itwasn’tarevealingglimpse.Justsexyskinandperfectleg.Hehadaheckofatimekeepinghis

eyesoffherastheywereonceagaininundatedwiththirstyguests.

Thecasesofwinesoonranout,andnotlongafter,thelastkegwasrunninglow.Wordspread

quicklyandtherewastalkofmovingthepartytoabar,whichsuitedAlexfine.Heleanedhisback
againstthecounterandpulledhisshirtawayfromhischesttogetittostopsticking.“I’dsayVienna
owesusbothabig,expensivedinner.”

“Soundsgoodtome,”Taylorsaid,standing.“I’mbeat.It’stimeformetogohome.”
“Speakingofowing…”Alextouchedherarm.“Ioweyouoneforyourheroicrescue.”
“Youlookedsortofmiserable.”
“Scaredformylife.”
“Youdokindofoweme,”shesaid,grinning.
“Yeah?”Hecouldthinkofsomechoicewaystomakeituptoher…?.
“Itappearsyourhandymanworkistop-notch.I’vegotafamilyinterestedinbuyingmyhouse.

I’mgoinghouse-huntingwithaRealtortomorrow.”Shebitherlip,hergutsyplayfulnessgone.“I’ve
neverboughtahousebefore.I’d…lovetohaveamalepointofview.Youknow,fix-itstuff,opinions
onfurnacesandfireplacesandwhoknowswhatelse.”

Thatwasn’tquitewhathehadinmindbut,funnything,hehadn’tyetlearnedhowtosaynoto

her.Besides,house-huntingfittedsecurelyintotheroleQuinnwouldexpectofhim.

“Soundslikeyoushouldmakeachecklist.Toptencharacteristicsyouwantinahouse.”Hewas

onlypartiallyjoking.

“No.I’mtryingsomethingnew.”Shestraightenedandexhaled.“I’mgoingtopayattentiontomy

gutinstincttomorrow.Goingtotry,anyway.”

“Inthatcase,you’reon.Whattime?”
“Brightandearlyifyou’reupforit.”Hisexactwordswhenhe’dstoodherupfortheirfirst

hardware-storetrip.“Nine.”

“Yougotit.”
“I’llpickyouupthistime.”Shegavehimameaningfullook.
“Yes,ma’am.Thehigheryourheels,thescarieryouare.”
“I’lltrytowearflip-flopstomorrow,justforyou.”
“S’thereanymorebeer?”Kyliedrapedherselfoverthebarandheldoutherlipstick-stainedcup.
“There’salittleinthere.Helpyourself.”Hegesturedtowardthekeg.“Bartender ’sofficiallyoff-

dutyandIhavetowalkmygirlfriendtohercar.”Hetriednottohesitateoverthewordgirlfriend,but
truthbetold,Kyliewastoofargonetonoticeifhedid.

“LetmesaygoodbyetoVienna,”Taylorsaidasshehurriedtooneofthepatiotableswherehis

sistersatwithtwoofherfriendsfromgradeschoolwho’dcomebacktoMadisonfortheparty.

AlexpackeduptheremainingemptybottleswhileKyliefoughttogetafewlastdropsoutofthe

tap.Beforeshecouldcallitquits,Taylorwasback,smilingathim.

Hetookherhand,weavingtheirfingerstogetherastheyheadedtowardthedriveway.Neitherof

themspokethewholeway,asiftheybothknewtheyshouldacknowledgetherusebutpreferredto
holdontotheexcusetotouchwhiletheycould.Bythetimetheygottohercar,parkedhalfwaydown
theblock,nervousnesshadovercomehim.

Nervousness.
Him.
Badsign.Bad,badsign.
“Seeyouinthemorning,”hesaidassheopenedherdoor.Ittooksteelywillpowerbuthebacked

awayfromher.Waved.Wentonhisway.Nonchalantly,ofcourse.

Ashewalkedbacktothehouse,handinhisfrontpocket,headdown,hekickedarock

repeatedly,followingitstrailbeforeblastingitforwardagain.

Iftherewasanaggingvoiceinhisheadthatwassetonpointingouthowcozyanddomestic

house-huntingwas,hepaiditnoheed.

CHAPTERTWENTY-FIVE

AYLORDIDN’THAVE

alotofpracticetrustingherinstincts,buttheywerescreamingatherrightnow.Or

somethingwas.

Shestoodonthebackscreened-inporchofahouseshe’dneverexpectedtolike.Onethat,on

paper,wasn’tthemostpractical.Butshenotonlylikedit…shewasfallinginlovewithit.

Itwasaseventy-year-oldbungalowwithsomuchcurbappealit’dmaketheperfectChristmas

card.Thickcolumnssupportedawide,welcomingfrontporch,andthecurrentownerhadfilledlong,
handmadeflowerboxesthatstretchedalongbothsideswithdozensofpink,purpleandwhiteblooms.

Theinsidewascuteandwell-maintained,andthekitchenandbathroomshadbeenremodeled

recently.Thefirstfloorwasfullofwindows.ShecouldpictureElanorandLorienperchingonthe
sills,infelineheaven.Thetwobedroomsonthemainfloorweredecent-sizeandonewouldmakea
cozyhomeoffice.Butthecrowningfeatureofthehousewasthemasterbedroom.Thesuitestretched
overthesecondfloorandincludedtwowalk-inclosetsandabathroomwithaclaw-foottub.Dormer
windowsatthefrontandbackletinsunshineandfreshair,andTayloradoredthecushionedwindow
seats.

Thiswastheninthhousethey’dbeenintoday.Genevieve,theRealtorKarenatworkhad

recommended,hadthepatienceofanold,loyaldog.ShehadawayofappearingwheneverTaylor
hadquestions,butotherwisesheletTaylorandAlexwanderaroundwithoutfeelingstalked.

Alexwasdoingexactlywhatshe’daskedhimto—checkingconstructionquality,plumbing

systems,heatingandcoolingandotherdetailsitwouldn’toccurtoTaylortoinspect.He’dbeenabig
help,practicallyspeaking,butthatwasall.

Aftertheirboyfriend-girlfriendgamelastnightatVienna’sparty,andthechemistrythathad

sizzledbetweenthemonthewalktohercar,Taylorhadletherselfgetsweptawayinfantasy.Again.
She’dwantedhishelponthehousesearch,sure,butmorethanthat,maybeapartofherwastesting
him.Seeinghowhereactedtothedomestic,personalquestoffindingahome.

Sofar,hehadn’t.Atall.
Whilesheravedaboutavaultedceilingorastonefireplace,theonlyinputhegaveherwas,

well,blackandwhite.Facts.Theflueofthefireplacewasjammed.Theconcretewallofthebasement
wascracked.ThegaragewassealedwellandwouldstanduptoWisconsinwinters.

Itwasmoreapparentthaneverthatthismovetowardthefuturewashersandhersalone.Intruth,

italwayshadbeen,butmaybeshe’dhoped.

Thecurrentownershadexcellenttasteinfurniture,evenhereonthebackporch.Asturdywhite

rattanloveseatwithcheeryyellowcushionslookedoutoverthebackyard.Taylorcouldn’tresist
sittingonit,imaginingherselfrelaxingonasummerevening.

Thebackyardwassurprisinglyexpansiveforanold,residentialneighborhood.Agrand,

picturesquetree—shewasn’tsurewhatkind—shelteredthebackhalfoftheyardfromthesun,anda
visionofawoodenplaysetappearedinTaylor ’smind.Onewithayellowplasticslide,aropeladder
andasandboxononeend.Aswing,definitelyaswingortwo.Shecouldimagineaboyandagirl
playing,climbing,hollering.Laughing.

“Whatdoyouthink?”

ShestartledatAlex’svoicefrombehindher.Thescreendoorcreakedasheopenedit.Hewalked

sixfeetinfrontofher,gazingoutattheyardasshejusthad,butnowherattentionwasfullyonhim.

Suchaneasy,naturalthingtoaddhimtothesceneinhermind.Standingbehindtheswing,

pushingtheboyuntilhesquealedinexcitement.Orcrouchingatthesideofthesandbox,steeringa
minibulldozerwiththepigtailedgirl.RisingwhenTaylorjoinedthem.Kissingher.

“It’sasturdy,well-builthouse,”hesaid,hisbackstilltoher.“Ithinkit’dgetyourbrother ’s

okay.”

Themake-believescenarioinTaylor ’sheadvanishedwithanalmost-audiblecrash.
Whenhadshebecomesuchadreamer?
Sheshookherhead.Shehadn’tandshewasn’t.
She’dneverbeendeludedenoughtothinktherewasafutureforherandAlex.Itwasjusteasyto

dobecausebuyingahousemadethefuturesotop-of-mind.

Notsomethingshewouldletruinherday.
ShehadAlex’scompanyforthetimebeing.Eventhoughhe’dbeennoncommittalsofar,having

himwithherhadmadehouse-huntingfun.

Theyweredefinitelydeeplyimmersedinthe“grayarea”—somewherebetweenfriendsand

lovers.

Definitionsweren’tnecessary,sheremindedherself.
Taylorstoodandwalkedupnexttohim,theirarmsnotquitetouching.“Beyondthenutsand

boltsandpracticalissues,”shesaid,“whatdoyouthinkofit?”

“WhatIthinkshouldn’tmatter.”
“Oh,itdoesn’t,”sheassuredhim,grinningwhenhefrowned.“Myopinionisalreadyformed.

I’mjustcurious.”

Heturnedandperusedtheporchthoughtfully.“IfIweregoingtosettledownandbuyahouse,

thisonewouldbeatthetopofmylist.”

Hisassessmentshouldn’thavecausedthelightnessinherchest,theirrepressiblegrin.Whathe

thoughtreallydidn’tcount,intheory.Butshesmiledathimanyway.Nodded.“Foronce,we’rein
agreementaboutsomething.”

ShewenttofindGenevievetodiscusshowtomoveforward.

IENNAWOULDBEPROUD

SofarTaylorhadstretched“timewithAlex”intoanalmosttwelve-hourspan.He’dbeeneasily

convincedtocomebacktoherplacewithjustthreewords:home-cookeddinner.

Itturnedoutcompletelygoingoninstinctwithoutsecond-guessingherselfwouldrequirealittle

practice.AftertouringtwomorehousesonGenevieve’slist,Taylorhadwantedtoseethebungalow
onemoretime.Bythenit’dbeenwellafter6:00p.m.

They’dstoppedatthegrocerystoreonthewaytoherhouseandshe’dmadeoven-bakedpork

chops,scallopedpotatoesandfreshgreenbeans.ShewasnogourmetchefbutAlexhadbeensweetly
enthusiasticaboutthefood.

She’dforcedhim,inspiteofhisprotests,outtothenewlyfurnisheddecktorelaxwhileshe

hastilycleanedupthekitchen.Assheclosedtherefrigeratoronthelastoftheleftovers,shesurveyed
theroom.Notuptoherusualstandards,buttherewasasexymaninherbackyard.Agirlhadher
priorities,andwhiletidinesshadalwaysbeenoneofthem,sometimesthoseprioritieschanged.

Taylorwentoutside,closingthedoorbehindhertokeepthecooledairin.Shelefttheporch

lightoffinanattempttokeepthebugsatbay.Alexhadlitthecitronellacandleonthesidetablenext

tohim,shenoticed.

Thoughduskwassettlingin,itwasstilluncharacteristicallywarmforWisconsininlateAugust.

Taylortuckedherselfintooneofhernewteakpatiochairs—withthemostluxurious,comfortable
outdoorcushionsshe’devercomeacross—andhuggedathrowpillowtoherchest.

Alexhadclaimedthelounger,thefocalpieceoftheadmittedlyextravagantpurchase.When

she’dlistedTaylor ’shouselastweek,Genevievehadsuggestedcreatingacozy,welcoming
atmosphereonthenewlyrepaireddeckaspartofthestaging.Taylorhadhadnointentionofgoing
overboardwhenshe’dhitanearbyhomeandgardenstore,butonceshe’dlaideyesonthisset,onthe
loungerspecifically,she’dwantedittobepartofhernewhome—whereverthatmightbe.Shehad
visionsofgettingViennatocreateahavensimilartotheoneattheWorthhouseforher,andthis
furniturewouldserveastheinspiration.

“Youmightnevergetmetoleave,”Alexsaid,hisheadbackagainstthecushion,eyesclosed.

“Thisthingmakesmybedfeellikeawoodencrate.”

Taylorwatchedhimwithasmile,thinkingit’dsuitherfineifheneverleft.
Onenightatatime,shechidedherself.
“Theplantsaddtotheexperience,”shesaid.
Twogiantpottedpalmsandaficusfilledthecornerbehindhim.Gavethespotashelteredfeel.
“Definitejunglevibe.”Heraisedhisarmsandcradledthembehindhishead.“Dinnerwaskiller.

IfIdidn’tknowbetterI’dthinkyouweretryingtogetmetomovein.”

Thecommentwasmeanttobefunnybutithitstrangelyclosetothetruth.Hedidn’tseem

disgustedorthreatenedbytheidea.

Thatwassomething.
Somethingthat,combinedwiththesingleglassofwineshe’dhadwithdinner,gavehercourage.

Shestoodandnoiselesslycrossedthedecktothelounger.Bythetimehesensedherclosebyand
openedhiseyes,she’djumpedoveranimaginarylineandwasloweringherselftostraddlehislap.

“Alwaysgoodtohaveahandyfix-ittypearound,”shesaidnervously.
“Hel-lo.”
Hel-lowasright.Shehadn’tthoughtabouttheeffectofherlong,loosegypsyskirtinthis

particularposition.Nowshecouldn’tthinkofanythingelse.Therewasalotmorebreezethan
materialbetweenherlegsandhiscargos.

“Ifyouwantedthelounger,allyouhadtodowasask,”hesaidwithasexy,all-knowingsmile.
Sheswallowedandmethisblue-grayeyes.“It’snotthechairI’mafter.”
“What,exactly,areyouafter?”Thesmilefaded,hismannerbecameserious,andsheknewher

answerwoulddictatewhathappenednext.Whathappenedfortherestofthenight.

“Well…”Theroughgrowthofhaironhischinheldherattention.Shetracedherfingeruphis

jawandbackdownagain.“Ourone-nightthing?Inmyopinionitwasaverynicewaytospenda
night.AndIwasthinkingwecouldmaybe…haveanother‘onenight.’”

Shewasnoexpertondesirebutshecouldswearhiseyeswenthot.
“Idon’tpossessyourmadmathskills,”hesaidinahusky,alluringvoice,“butI’mprettysure

thatwouldmakeittwonights.”

“You’rethinkingtoohard.”
Hechuckled.“That’snotsomethingI’moftenaccusedof.Soundsmoreupyouralley.”He

caressedherbareupperarmgentlywithonehand,givinghershivers,andrestedhisotherather
waist.

“I’mtakingtheeveningoff.”Hershynessandfearwereslowlybeingreplacedbytheneedtoget

closertohim.Shelookedathislips,touchedthemwithherfinger.Leanedforwardwithoutthought.

Alex’shandcameuptohernapeandhepulledhertohim.Thecontactoftheirlipsshotheat

throughherallthewaytohermiddle,thenlower.Shebreathedhimin.Tastedhim.Wasovercomeby
thesensualoverloadofkissinghimagain.Justasbefore,ittookmeresecondsforhimtodriveher
overalinefromtentativetovoracious.

Maybethiswasonlyforonenight,oronemorenight,buthewasintoit.Alexwantedher.Taylor

hadneverbeensureaboutthatbeforewithanyotherman,buttherewaslittlelefttodoubtgiventhe
hardnessthatpressedbetweenherlegsandthegrowlthatrumbledfromhischest.

Hepulledherskirtfromwhereit’dbeenservingasasemi-barrierbetweenthemandadjusted

herbody,centeringheronhim.Thethinstripofherpantiesallowedhertofeeleverycontourofhis
cargos,everyshiftofhimbelowher.Madeherburnformorecontact.Sherubbedherbodyagainst
his,shootingelectricneedthroughher,makinghergasp.

Sheeasedawayenoughtoaccesshiszipper.
“Taylor.”Hisvoicehadgonelower.Rougher.
“Yes?”
“We’reoutside.”
Shelaughedintohismouthasshekissedhimagain.“Weare.Inmybackyard.”
“Areyouokaywith…?Yougomuchfurtherandthat’sit,baby.Outsideitis.”
Sittingbackonhisthighs,feelingflushedandnotgivingaflyingfigaboutwheretheywere,she

undidhiszipperwithshakingfingers.“Well,Icouldstopandcomposealist.Prosandconsof
intimaterelationsonthebackdeck…Butitmighttakeafewminutes.”

Shereachedinsidehisboxersandtouchedthesilkyhardnesssheachedfor.
“Afewminutesisn’tanoption,”hesaid,leaningforwardtokissheragain.
“It’sdark,”shewhispered.“Mostofmyneighborsareelderly.Theygotosleepnotlongafter

WheelofFortune.”

“Shh.Istoppedarguingminutesago.Getoverhere.”
Alexbrushedherhairoffhercheek,ranhisfingersthroughherlong,tousledlocks.Their

tonguesmetagain,hungrily.Ashekissedhersenseless,shefelthisrough,strongfingersunderher
skirt,inchingupthebacksofherthighs.Overherrear.Theydippedinsideherpantiesfromthetop,
easedthemdownoverherhips.Taylorleanedtothesidetohelphimremovethemandthrewthem
towardthebackdoor.

Beforeshecouldsettlebackontopofhim,heremovedhiswalletfromthebackpocketofhis

pantsandtookoutasquarepacket.

“Justlikeanarmyguy,”shesaidbreathily.“Alwaysready.”
“Preparednessisoneofmymanyvirtues.”
Herippedopenthecondomandsheleaneddowntokisshim.Thepackageflewtothedecknext

tothem.Heslippedhishandsunderhershirtandguidedherbackontopofhimuntilhefilledher,
takingherbreathaway.

“Youfeelamazing,Taylor.”
“Soyou’resayingtheone-more-nightthingwasagoodidea?”Itwasdifficulttotalkasshe

moved,grindingintohim,teasinghim.

“Oneofyourbest.”
Hemadehiswayupherribcagewithhislargehands,slidhisfingersunderherbra,overher

breasts,hernipples.Shegaveuptalkingandlostcontrolofherthoughts.Letinstinctandneedtake
over.Workinghisshirtupward,sheranherhandsoverhistightabs,hishardchest.Sheliftedtheshirt
offandtosseditaside.Thesightofhisdogtagsonhistoned,tannedbody,whilehewasdoingwicked
thingstoherbody…Sexwouldberuinedforherafterthis.Itcouldneverbeasamazingasitwas
withAlex.

Sheclungtohim,kissedhim,breathedhim.Promisedherselfshewouldn’tlethimleaveuntil

morning,wouldbarelylethimsleep.She’dtakethedayoffandtheycouldextendonenightintoa
twenty-four-hourperiod.Whatever,aslongasthisdidn’thavetoend…?.

Alexwhisperedthingsintoherear,droveherhigherwhenshealreadythoughtshewasgoingto

die.Seemingtosensethemomenthepushedherover,hekissedherhard,quietingthemoansshe
couldn’tholdback.Hegrippedherrearunderherskirtandarchedintoher,notreleasinghermouth.

Graduallytheirkissesgentled.Theyexhaledshakilyasone.Spent.Sated.Soamazinglysated.
Taylorcurledintohim,stillintimatelyjoinedtohim.Hisarmswerearoundher,holdingherto

hischest.Cricketchirpseventuallyworkedtheirwayintoherconsciousness,addingtoherfeelingof
contentment.Sheranherfingeroverthemetalrectangleshangingfromhisneck,notallowingherself
toconsiderwhattheyrepresented.

“Thatwasn’twhatIhadinmindwhenIboughtthepatiofurniture,butI’mtryingtoembracethe

less-plannedlifestyle,”Taylorsaidseveralminuteslater.

AlowlaughrumbledfromAlex’schest,vibratedbeneathhercheek.“Iheartilyapproveofthe

less-plannedlifestyle.”

Hekissedthetopofherhead.Caressedherback.Abreezerustledthroughtheleavesofthetrees,

andthesheenofperspirationonTaylor ’sskinmadehershiver.

“Isthereroomfortwoinyourshower?”heasked.
“Youtellme.Youinstalledoneofthem.”
“Doyouthinkweshouldconductanexperiment?”
Shecouldtellhewasgrinningbythesoundofhisvoice.“Youdoknowthewaytogetascience

girltosayyes.”

Taylorcrawledoffhimandpickeduptheclothingfromthedeck.Hewasslowstandingand

puttinghimselfbacktogether,butoncehedid,shelethimsweepheroffherfeet.Literallyand
figuratively.

CHAPTERTWENTY-SIX

LEXCOULDN’TSAY

exactlywhatmadehimcancelhisMondayPTappointment.Spendingthenightwith

anamazing,willingwomaninhisarmsmadeamandocrazythings,tobesure,buthistherapytime
wassacred.Hedidn’tskipit,period.NotevenwhenMarshallhadflakedonthedealthey’dmadethat
gaveAlexaccesstohisAcurathreetimesaweek.Alexhadendeduppayingacabsomuchtogetto
hisappointmentthatbuyinganewcarontheflywould’vealmostbeencheaper.

Andthismorning,whenTaylorhadannouncedshewastakingthedayoffwork—whichhe

suspectedwasamonumentaloccurrenceitself—he’dapparentlycaughtthetemporaryinsanitybug.

They’dstayedinherbedformostoftheday,emergingfromherroomexactlytwice,both

incidentsfood-related.Taylorhadputherrobeononcetobringthemailin—andsystematically
sortedandeitherstackedorthrownawayeachpiece,openingherselfuptoanOCDjokeortwo.
They’dsleptalot,andinterruptedtheirsleepwithsex.

Allinall,everyman’sideaoftheperfectday.
Whatwasthesaying?Somethingaboutgoodthingscomingtoanend?
Theclockwasticking.Alexwashavingahardertimeignoringreality,theworldoutsidetheir

lustcave.Heknewthelongerhestayed,themorelikelyTaylor—okay,bothofthem—wouldgettoo
usedtobeingtogether.Thoughthepastdayandnighthadrockedhisworld,hewasbeginningtoget
antsy.

NHOURLATER

AYLOR

climbedoutoftheshowerwhileAlexstayedintorinsethelastofthesoapoff.It

turnedouttwocouldindeedfitintoboththenewshowerandtheoneinthemasterbath.Alittle
crowdedbutthat’djustmadethingsmoreinteresting.Forcedthemtogetmorecreative.

Asshedriedherself,sheknewtheirmind-blowingloveretreathadtoendsoon,eventhough

neitherofthemhadmentionedthesubject.OnceAlexwalkedoutofhere,therewasnotellingwhen
she’dseehimnext.Beforeheleft,therewassomethingsheneededtoaddress,andshetriedtofigure
outthebestwayofhandlingit.

Nakedwasnotit,shedecidedwithaflushedsmile.
Shepeekedbehindtheshowercurtaintofeasthereyesonhisbeautifulbody—scarsandall—

onelasttimeandhurriedoutofthebathroombeforeshelostherresolvetogetdressed.She’dnever
hadsomuchsexinherlifeandyet…shewantedmore?WithAlex,itwouldnevergetold.As
inexperiencedasshe’dbeenbeforehim,sheinstinctivelyknewthis.

TaylorthrewonjeansandaplaincoralV-neckT-shirtbeforeheadingthroughthehouse.She

wentdownthestairstothebasementandopenedthenowneatlyorganizedclosetinthefamilyroom.
Quinn’sduffelbaghungfromahookandshegrabbedit.Wentintotheotherroomtotheguncabinet.
Herhandshookassheunlockedthedoor.

Thecabinetwashalfempty,asshe’dexpected.AlexhadmanagedtosellfiveorsixofQuinn’s

gunstopeopleheknew.Theoneshesoughtwasonthefarrightsidebyitself.Shehadnoideawhat
exactlyitwasotherthanscaryandugly,butsheknewithadbeenQuinn’sfavorite—theoneAlexhad
pointedoutthedaytheytookinventory.

Alexhadhesitatedtotakeitthenbuthewastheonlyonewhoshouldinheritit.It’dbeenoneof

Quinn’smosttreasuredpossessions,andwhileTaylorcouldappreciatethesentimentalityofit,she
hadnodesiretoownit,lookatit.Touchit.

Shenoticedtheglovesontheshelfandputthemon.Shewasn’taltogethersurewhyitwas

necessarybutshe’dneverseenQuinn—orAlex,forthatmatter—skipusingthem.

Remindingherselfthegunwasunloaded,shepickeditup,awedandmorethanalittlefreaked

outbythethoughtofwhatthishunkofmetalandplasticwascapableof.

Shecarefullyplacedtheguninthebag,zippeditandhurriedupstairs,eagertogetridofthe

goods.Yes,itwasirrationaltobescaredtotouchanunloadedgun,butthesamecouldbesaidfor
touchinggartersnakes.Neitherwasherthing.

WhenAlexcameoutofherbedroom,dressedintheclotheshe’dwornonthemarathonhouse

touryesterday,shewassittinginthelivingroomonthecouch,thebagatherfeet.

“What’sgoingon?”heasked,walkingdownthehalltowardher.
“I’vebeenmeaningtodothisforawhile.”Taylorleanedoverandwidenedtheopeningofthe

bagasheloweredhimselftothecouchnexttoher.Sheforcedherselftopickupthepieceofkilling
steelinsteadofmakinghimgrabithimself.Sheheldouttheguntohim,carefultopointitawayfrom
bothofthemjustincase.

Alexstaredatitthenlookedaway.
“Takeit,Alex.It’syours.He’dwantyoutohaveit.”
“Whytoday?”
Shecouldn’tface,evenprivately,thenaggingfearthathemighttreatherdifferentlyaftertoday.

Mightdistancehimselffromher.Withthehouseprojectsfinished,itcouldbeweeksbeforeshesaw
himagain.Sheblinkedandswallowedagainstthatpossibility.

“I’llbemovingsooniftheofferonmyhousecomesthrough.Timetotakecareofthingslike

this.”Justbusiness.Sure.

Shehalfexpectedhimtoargue,buthenodded.Tookthegunfromher.Noddedagain.
“Thankyou.”Heraiseditandlookedthroughthescope.“It’sahellofarifle.”
“Ifyousayso.”
Heloweredit,helditinbothhandsabovehislap,examineditmoreclosely.Shesawhim

swallowhardandunderstoodalittleofwhathewasgoingthrough.Holdingsomethingthathadbeen
somuchapartofherbrothermadeitseemasifQuinnhimselfshouldcomestruttingthroughthe
doorwithasmart-aleckremark.

Wishingshecouldsparehimthepain,sheputherhandonhisthigh.
Alexpointedthegundown,pulledthebackpartofitandlookedintothechamberontheside.

Sheassumedhewasdouble-checkingforammunition.Apparentlysatisfiedwithwhathesaw,heset
thegunonthefloorbythebag.

HesatbackanddrewTaylortowardhim,soshecrawledonhislap.Armsaroundeachother,

theyquietlygrieved,andforthefirsttime,Taylorfeltthatmaybethepainwouldn’tsuffocateherif
sheletherselfthinkaboutherbrother.Shefeltasif,together,sheandAlexcouldgetthroughthe
darkesttimes.Closinghereyes,sheclungtotheconnectionthathummedbetweenthem.Minutes
passedwithoutthemmovingorspeaking.

ThenAlexwentfromstillandcomfortingtofidgety.Taylorreluctantlyuntangledherselffrom

him,movedtotheside.Besttogettherestoverwith.

“Iknowyou’reprobablyreadytogethome…”shebegan.Sheclearedherthroat.“Butwould

yougosomewherewithmefirst?”

“Where?”Alex’seyesweredamp.
Seeinghimlikethattwistedherupinside.

Ifsheansweredhisquestion,hemightrefusetogo.“You’llseewhenwegetthere.It’snotfar.”
Heshrugged.“I’vegotnothingplanned.”
She’dtakethatasayes,lackofenthusiasmornot.Itwasn’tahappyerrandanyway.But

somethinghadchangedintheairbetweentheminthepastfiveminutes.Somethingthatshecouldn’t
name,butitscaredher.Theclosenessofthepastdayhadvanished.

Herhairwasonlyhalf-dry,butshemerelyranacombthroughit.Theyputtheirshoesonand

Taylorgrabbedherkeysandpurse,allwithoutawordbetweenthem.

Fifteenminuteslater,whensheturnedhercarintotheboat-storagelotlocatednearthe

lakeshore,Alex’seyesboredintothesideofherhead.Sherefusedtomeethisgaze.Heundoubtedly
rememberedthiswaswhereQuinnstoredhisfishingboat.Still,hedidn’tsayanything.

Taylorhadn’tbeenherebeforeandhadnoideawheretofindQuinn’sshed.Shetookarightat

thefirstrowanddroveslowlysoshecouldseethenumbers.

“It’stheotherway,”Alexsaid.“Rowclosesttotheshore.”
Sheturnedthecararoundandfollowedhisdirectionstofindnumberseventy-three.Pulledup

rightoutsideofitandturnedofftheengine.Itwasn’tuntilshewasoutthedoorandabouttotrythe
keyinthegaragelockthatshenoticedAlexhadn’tmoved.Hesatwithhisheadbackagainstthe
headrest,eyesclosed.

Taylortrudgedtothepassengersideandopenedthedoor.“Areyoucoming?”sheaskedgently.
Alexsatthereforseveralmoresecondswithoutmoving,withoutopeninghiseyes.Taylor

leanedontheframeofthedoor,waiting.Finallyhenodded,methergaze.Shewantedtoholdouther
handforhimbutdidn’twanttoberejected.Instead,shestoodbackwhilehepulledhislongbodyout
ofthecompactfrontseat.

Shebentdowntothelock,stuckthekeyinandturnedit.Togethertheyraisedthemini-garage

doortorevealthefishingcraftsittingonatrailer.Thesightofitdidn’thitherthewaysomanyother
ofQuinn’spossessionshad.She’dseentheboatwhenitwasnew,yearsago,buthadneverbeenout
onthewaterwithhim.QuinnandAlexhadalwaysbeenfishingenthusiastsbutshe’dhadnointerest.

ButAlex…shewatchedhimashewalkedalongsideit,runninghishandoverthetopandjust

staring.Sheknewhewasbeingbarragedbyathousandmemories.Shewasn’tsureheevennoticed
whenshesidledupnexttohim,wishingthiswasn’thurtinghim.Thatwasn’tthereasonshe’dbrought
himouthere.

Shewaiteduntilheshifted,becameawareshewasthere,andthensheheldoutthekeystothe

storageunitandtheboat.“It’syours.I’mpayingthestorageforanotheryear,butifyouwanttosell
theboat,Iunderstand.”

“NotsureIcansellit.”Hisvoicewasheavywithsadness.“NotsureIcanuseit.”
“That’syourdecision.I’dforgottenallaboutituntilIgotthestoragerenewalbillinthemail

today.Ikeepwonderingwhatotherreminderswillshowupoutofnowhere.”

Heshovedthekeyringinhispocketandstrodeoutofthegarageasifshe’dsaidthewrong

thing.Ashehungaleftanddisappearedinsteadofclimbingintothecar,Taylorwiltedagainstthe
insidewall.

Emergingfromthegaragetwominuteslater,shesearchedforAlexbutdidn’tseehim.She

followedthelineofgarages,allofthemconnectedsotherewasnowheretogobuttheendoftherow.
Oncesheclearedthelongstructure,shespottedhimtwentyyardsawayontopofanoldwooden
picnictableclosetothewater.Hestaredtowardthemiddleofthelake,atnothingifshehadtoguess.
Sheheadedtowardhim,refusingtopayheedtoaheavysenseofforeboding.

Thetablewobbledwhenshesteppeduponthebenchseattojoinhim.
“Maybeit’stimeforadiet,”shesaid,tryingtolightenthemoodalittle.
Hedidn’treply.

Theysatsidebysidewatchingtheboatsinthedistance.Adeterminedbirdhiddeninthetreesto

theirleftserenadedthem,thesongmixingwiththeperiodicsloshofwaterontherocks.Thesunhad
starteditsfinaldescentfortheeveningandtheairhadcooledafewdegrees.Theeveningwouldbe
perfect—iftherewasn’tsomuchhangingunspokenbetweenthem.Itwentbeyondgrief,atleastin
Taylor ’smind.

Askiboatwithagroupofnoisyteensandanoldermanspedbythenturned,cutitsspeedand

madeitswaytotheboatrampfartherdown,justontheothersideofthestoragecompound.Taylor
andAlexbothwatchedasthegroupefficientlyloadedtheboatonawaitingtrailerandleft.The
absenceofraucous,happysoundsfromthewater-skiersemphasizedthequietbetweenthem.

“Thankyouforgivingmehisboat,”Alexsaidseveralminuteslater,stillstaringoutatthewater.

“Andtherifle.”

“Ididn’tdoittoupsetyou.”
“I’mnotupset.”Hewovehisfingerstogetherandcorrectedhimself.“Nomoreupsetnowthan

usual.”

“Iknow.”
He’dweatheredhispersonalstormofself-blameandsadnessformonthsbyhimself.Taylor

believedwitheveryfiberofherbeingthatshecouldhelphimworkthroughthingsifonlyhe’dlet
her.Butshedidn’tknowhowtostart.

“Alex.”
Herheartbeatseveraltimesasshewaitedforhimtoacknowledgethatshe’dspoken.Finally,he

shotafleetingglanceherway,notevenmeetinghereyes.

“Ifyoudon’tmind,Ineedafewminutesalone.”Hisvoicewasamonotone.Detached.
“Ifyou’dtalkaboutit,maybeitwouldhelp—”
“Nothingwillhelp,Taylor,”hesnapped.Hebowedhishead.“Please.”
Sheclampedherjawshutagainstthestingofhiswords.Staringathim,shegavehimample

time,endlesschancestosoftenwhathe’dsaid.Hedidn’tspeakanotherword.

Really?Aftertheirclosenessofthepastdayandahalf?Themonthsleadinguptoit?Hecould

shutherdownsocoldly?Notbeingreadytotalkwasonething,butshuttingheroutlikethat…

Taylorclimbeddownfromthetablewithoutawordandmadeherwaytothecar.Shesurprised

herselfwiththeforcesheusedtoslamthedoorshut,thenhittheinsideforgoodmeasure.

Slumpinginhersemireclinedseat,sheclosedhereyesagainstthetearsthatweregathering.It

didn’thelp.Theyspilledoutfromthecornersandrandownthesidesofherfaceintoherhair.

Ithadbeenriskytospendmoretimewithhim,especiallyafteradmittingherfeelingstoherself,

butshe’dthoughtshecouldhandleit.Hadthoughtthattherealizationthattheywouldn’tendupwitha
happily-ever-afterwouldleaveherprepared.Abletostaveoffthehurtwhenhewentonhisway,
whethertothearmyoranotherwoman.

Taylorallowedherselfthreeminutestopurgethetearsthathadbuiltup.SherefusedtoletAlex

findherwailingandlickingherwoundswhenhefinallyreturnedtothecar.

Whenherthreeminuteswereup,sheraisedtheseatandcaughtaglimpseofherselfinthe

rearviewmirror.Herhairwastangledfromdrivingwiththecarwindowsdown.Hergreeneyes
stoodout,partlybecausetheyweredampandpartlybecauseshenolongerworeherglasses.There
wasahintofcolorinhercheeksanditwasn’tfromanembarrassedflushforoncebutjustfrom
living.

Shebarelyrecognizedthewomanwhostaredbackatherforamoment,butthenshetuckedher

hairbehindherearandlookedmoreclosely.Thiswaswhoshe’dbecomeinthepastfewweeks.

Withoutreallynoticingit,she’dchangedinsidetomatchtheexternalmetamorphosis.She’d

workedherwayoutofhershell,pushedherself,withVienna’shelp,totrynewsituations.Forced

herselfrepeatedlyoutsideofhercomfortzone.She’dmetpeople,gottentoknowafew.Dated.
Survivedbeingtreatedlikedirtbyamanandnotblamedherselfassheoncewouldhave.She’dturned
intoamoreconfidentpersonwhowastedlesstimefrettingoverwhatothersthought.

She’dbecomesomeonesheliked.Onlynowdidithitherthatmaybeinthepastshehadn’tbeen

abletoloveherself.Nowshecould.Andshebelievedotherscouldloveher,aswell.

LikeAlex.
Youdidn’tspendthirty-somehoursstraightwithawomanunlessyouhadfeelingsforher.Sure,

sexskewedthingsabit,butithadn’tbeenjustsexforeitherofthem.

Therewerethethingshe’dsaidtoherinalowvoice,intheearly-morninghours,whenshe’d

jokedabouthercampaigntomeettheperfectman.Therewasthewayhe’dinsistedongettingupand
makingbreakfastforthem,refusingherhelp.Sheknewhehatedtocook,buthe’dcomebacktothe
bedroomwithabowlfullofscrambledeggsandastackofwhole-wheattoast.Teaforher,withthe
rightamountoflemon.

She’dnevertoldhimhowmuchlemonshelikedinhertea.
He’dletherchoosethemoviethey’dwatchedinbed,onherlaptop.Hadn’tgrumbledwhenshe’d

optedforaromanticcomedy.

He’dwatchedoutforheralltheseweeks.Beenprotectiveofher,borderingonoverprotective,

andwhilehemaintaineditwasallbecauseofQuinn,shenolongerbelievedthat.

Whatshebelievedwasthathecaredmoreaboutherthanhe’dleton.Morethanhe’dadmittedto

her…andmaybetohimself.

Shewasnolongerthegirlwhowasafraidtolovehim.Therewassomethingprettyamazing

betweenthem,anditwastimeforhimtofaceuptoit,aswell.

Forthefirsttime,sheallowedherselftobelievetheycouldhaveafuturetogether.Justassoon

asshetoldhimwhatshethoughtofhisowncowardice.

Taylorgotoutandslammedthedoor,anewdetermination—andanunderlyinghope—

propellingherbacktotheshore.

CHAPTERTWENTY-SEVEN

LEXHADSPENT

thetwenty-fiveminutessinceTaylorhadstormedoffdebatingwithhimself.Getthehell

outofhereonfoot,withouttellingher?Orstayandfacetheinevitableconfrontation?He’dbeen
secondsawayfromwalkingseveraltimes,butthethoughtofherfacewhensherealizedhewasgone
hadrootedhimtohisspotonthetable.

Nowhe’dapparentlywaitedtoolong.
Hedidn’tturnaroundwhenheheardherapproachingbehindhim,thoughhislegwasstartingto

stiffenup.Guessthatwasthepriceyoupaidforanightofmattressaerobics.Asorelegandawoman
withabonetopick,ifherquick,deliberatestepsthroughthesandygrasswereanyindication.

“Weneedtotalk.”
ThefourmostdreadedwordsintheEnglishlanguage.Hesupposedhedeservedthemseveral

timesover.

“Here?”He’dpreferanywhereelse.Tahoe.Brazil.AnythingtoputofftalkingaboutQuinn

again.Orlastnight.Orwhateverthehellitwasshewassointentondiscussing.Allthetalkinthe
worldwasn’tgoingtochangehowbadlyhe’dscrewedup.

Shesteppeddirectlyinfrontofhim,nearlyateyelevelwithhimbecauseofthewayhewas

hunchedover.Whenhemethergaze,therewasfireinthosegreeneyesofhersandheknewhewasin
trouble.

Heshould’vetakenoffwhenhe’dhadthechance.
“IsworetomyselfahundredtimesoverIwouldnevertellyouthis,Alex,”shesaid,touchinghis

kneelightly.“Butitoccurredtomethatthatwaslettingyouoffeasy.”Shelookedtotheside,herchest
risingassheinhaled.Thenshepeggedhimwithadirectstareagain.“IguessI’mnotafanofeasy
anymore.I’minlovewithyou.”

Heclosedhiseyes.No.Thatwasn’tsupposedtohappen.He’dbeenfoolishtostayoverlast

night,dumberstilltohangaroundallday,buthehadn’texpectedTaylortothrowthisathim.

Beforehecouldcomeupwithanacceptableresponse,shecarriedon.
“That’sexactlywhatIexpectedyoutosay.”
Hefurrowedhisforeheadinconfusion.“Ididn’tsayanything.”
“Exactly.Butthat’sokaybecauseIhavealotofthingstogetoutsoyoucanjustsitthereand

listentillyourearsbleed.”

Anyothertimehe’dnoticehowcuteshewaswhenshewasmad,butnowhewastoo

overwhelmedwithhatinghimselftothinkanythingpositive.

“Ihaveatheory,”shecontinued.“Isuspectyouactuallyloveme,too.Butyou’retoostubbornto

seeitoradmitit.Bigburlyarmyguywho’safraidofsolittleandyetwon’tfaceuptohisfeelings.
Ironic,isn’tit?I’mtheonewho’ssupposedtobeafraidofsomuch…?.”

Shecrossedherarmsoverherchest,andstaredhimdownexpectantly.
“Taylor…”
Shenoddedonce,asifhe’dprovedherpoint.“That’swhatIthought.”
“Stop…”
“Maybeitwouldbesmartformetostop,butthistimeI’mnotgoingtoplayitsmart.You’reso

worriedaboutwhatQuinnwouldthink,butyouhaveitallwrong.AllQuinnwouldeverwantisfor
metobehappy.”

“I’mnotthatguy,Taylor.”
“IfI’mwrongandyoureallydon’tloveme,okay.I’lleventuallyacceptthat.I’llbeabletolive

withmyselfknowingIleveledwithyou.”

“Ican’tloveyou,”hesaidquietlywhenshepausedtotakeabreath.“Ican’tloveanyone.I’m

tryingtofigureouthowtolivewithmyself.I’ddonothingbuthurtyou.Hurtyoumore.”

Narrowinghereyes,shestudiedhim,defiantatfirst,thenlessconfident.Shebitthecornerof

herbottomlipandhehadtolookawaybeforeherexpressionturnedtohurt.Thiswasexactlywhat
he’dhopedtoavoid.

TheoldTaylorwould’vebackeddown,butthisnew,determinedonesurprisedhim.
“YouknowwhatIthink,Alex?Ithinkyou’restuck.”Sheuncrossedherarmsemphatically.

Clenchedherjawmomentarily.“Yes,somethinghorriblehappenedtoyouandQuinnandeveryone
onthathelicopter.Welostareallygoodguythatday.”Hervoicecracked,butshepushedon.“It
wasn’tyourfaultandIsuspectdeepdownyouknowthat.Butit’stime—pasttime—toembracethat.
Youneedtostopusingtheaccidentasanexcusenottolive.”

Taylorstaredathimamomentlonger,shookherheadandwalkedaway.
“Don’tbotherwaiting,”hecalledafterher.“I’llfindmyownridehome.”
“Worksforme.”Shedidn’tevenlookbackwhensheanswered.

AYLORDIDN’TSHEDATEAR

onthedrivehome.NordidshefeelintheleastbitguiltyaboutleavingAlexby

thelake.

Shepulledhercarintothegaragedry-eyed.Walked,unseeing,acrossthedrivewayandthedeck.

Letherselfinthehouseandblewoutalong,shakybreath.Congratulatedherselfforhandlingthat
confrontationandtheaftermathsowell.

Thekitchenwasamessfromtheirslumberpartysoshesetherpursedownandimmediately

startedtidying,rinsingdishes,stackingtheminthedishwasher.Busywork.Blessedbusywork.

AsshemovedoneofthedirtyplatesAlexhadusedtoservetheirbreakfast,shediscoveredthe

eggcartonsittingonthecounterbeneathit.Sheflippedthetopopen.Threeeggsremained.They’dsat
outonthecounterallday,atroomtemperature.

Thatwasallittook.
SobsburstfromherwiththepowerofNiagaraFalls.Sheshovedtheremainingdishes—andthe

eggs—outofherwayandleanedoverthecounter,blindedbytears.

ThebackdooropenedandTaylorfroze,automaticallythinkingitwasAlex.Shewipedher

handsoverherfaceandturnedaroundbeforeshecouldreasonwithherselfthattherewasnowayhe
couldgetherethatfast.

“Taylor,honey,what’swrong?”Viennarushedtowardher,eyeswidewithalarm.
Atthesightofherfriend’sface,Taylorletgooftheounceofcontrolshe’dmustered,unableto

holdittogetherforanothersecond.

Viennapulledherintoahugandlethercry.“Whathappened,Tay?”
Taylortriedtogetafullbreath,triedtoslowdownsoshewouldn’thyperventilate.“He…he…

leftthee-eggsout.Ihavetoth-throwthemawa-a-ay.”

“Wholefttheeggsout?”
Shecouldn’tbringherselftosayhisname.ShefeltViennanodafterafewseconds.
“Alex?Didhedoit?”

Taylorcriedharder,ifthatwaspossible.
“WasAlexhereallday?That’swhyIcameover.Hewon’tanswerhiscell.”
Taylortriedtoconveyanaffirmativeanswer,pullingawayandcoveringherfacewithboth

hands.

“Comehere,”Viennasaid,guidinghertothelivingroom.SheeasedTaylorontothecouchand

satnexttoher,huggedherandletTaylorgetitallout.

Minuteslater—Ten?Thirty?—Taylor ’sembarrassingoutpouringhadslowedtoaperiodic

hiccup.

“I’msorry,”Taylorsaid,wipinghereyesonhershirt.
“I’mguessingthisisn’tabouttheeggs.”
Taylortriedtolaughbutitsoundedlikeadyinganimal.“Notabouttheeggs.”
SeveralsecondspassedandTaylorclosedhereyes,breathedasdeeplyasshecould.Thenshe

explainedaboutthepasttwodays,startingwiththegraduationpartyandendingwithherdeclaration
ofloveoutatthelake.

“Yousaidthattohim?”Viennaaskedwhenshewasdone.“Aboutusingtheaccidentasan

excuse?”

Taylornodded,arocksettlinginhergut.“Ilefthimthere.Maybeyoushouldgoseeifhe’sstill

stranded.”

Viennawavedofftheidea.“He’sabigboy.HecancallataxiforallIcare.I’mproudofyoufor

sayingallthat.Itneededtobesaid.”

“I’mnotsure.Iknewtherulesgoingintothis.Lovewasn’teversupposedtobepartofthedeal.”
“Seemslikethat’swhenitusuallyhappens.”
“HowstupidamItotrytotellhimhelovesme?”Shesqueezedhereyesshut,alltheconviction

she’dfeltearlierhavingseepedoutofher,leavinghermiredindoubt.

“Honestly,Tay?He’sthestupidone.”Viennapulledherlegsupunderher.“Hecaresaboutyou

big-time.I’dhavetobeanidiotnottoseethatfromwhereIstand.He’slettingthebestthingthatcould
everhappentohimslipawaybecausehe’stooscaredtomoveonwithhislife.Itmakesmesad.”

“Maybehedoesn’treallycarethatmuch.It’snotlikeIhaveallthisexperiencewithmentobea

goodjudgeofit.Maybeitwasjustaphysicalthingforhim.”

Viennashookherheadadamantly.“Ifhe’djustwantedsex,he’dpickupsomechickhe’dnever

seeagain.Mybrotherisstupidonmanylevels,butIrefusetobelievehe’sdumbenoughtogothere
withyou.”

“Well…Iguessitdoesn’tmatterintheend.Hemadehisdecisionanditwasn’tme.”
“I’msorry,Taylor.IneverwouldhaveencouragedyouifI’dknownthiswouldhappen.”
“Ihadtotry,”Taylorsaidquietly.
“Attheriskofsoundingcondescending,I’mproudofyou,girlfriend.Threemonthsago,you

neverwouldhavehadthenerveforanyofthis.Nowyou’retellingarmyguyswhat’swhatandwho’s
who.”

Taylorforcedahalfsmile.“Yayme.”Shedidn’teventrytosoundconvincing.
Viennahoppedupoffthecouch.“Comeon,”shesaid.“Youneedtocutlooseforalittlewhile.”
“Oh,no.Ihavetoworkinthemorning.Nohangoversforme.”
“Notalcohol.Justadrivewiththewindowsdown,themusicup,andchocolatetogetyou

through.”

ThelastthingTaylorwantedtodowasgoanywhere.Butthethoughtofhowquietthishouse

wouldbethesecondViennaleftpropelledheroffthecouch.“Ilooklikehell.”

“Wherewe’regoing,thatdoesn’tmatter.”ShelinkedherarmwithTaylor ’s.“Hairdoesn’t

matter,caloriesdon’tcount,andyoumightaswellpreparetolosealittlepieceofyourhearing,too.

Timeforadoseofbreak-uptherapy,Vienna-style.”

Taylorhadnohopeitwouldhelp,butitsurebeatlyinginherlonelybedandlisteningtothe

silenthouse.

CHAPTERTWENTY-EIGHT

LEXWALKEDOUTOF

hisdoctor ’sofficeontheeastsideofMadisonwonderingwhatthehellwaswrong

withhim.Dr.Henningshadfinally,afterallthesemonthsofhellacioustherapyandrehab,givenhim
theallclearonhisleg.He’dmanagedasclosetoafullrecoveryashewasgoingtogetand,more
important,wasgiventheokaytofly.Allthatremainedwasgettingthearmy’sflightsurgeonsto
agree.

ThejoyAlexhadexpectedtofeelwasseriouslyMIA.
Asheheadeddownthewidemainwalkwayfromtheclinic,heglancedaroundforVienna’scar.

Hisappointmenthadtakenlongerthanhe’dexpectedsosheshouldbewaitingtogivehimaride
home.

“Yourequestedadriver?”Marshallshotthesmart-aleckremarkfromthebenchalongthe

sidewalk.

Hell.Lastpersonhewasinthemoodfor.
“Icancallacab.”Alexwalkedafewstepsfartherthenpulledouthisphone.
Marshallfellinbesidehim.“Viennawasdelayedatthemallsosheaskedmetocoverforher.

I’mhere.Happytogiveyoualift.”

TheattitudewasgoneandAlexwaslowoncashsohelookedfortheAcura.“Youbeen

drinking?”

“I’msober.I’dbreatheonyoutoproveitbutIdon’tcaretohaveyoukickmyassagain.”
Alexstudiedhim.Marshall’seyeswereclearandfocused,albeitrimmedbyfaintyellow

bruising,courtesyofAlex’sfist,andhisstancewassteady.Alexshruggedandheadedforthecar.

Oncetheywerebothinthefrontseat,theysatthereinsilence.Thekeyswereintheignition,but

Marshalldidn’tstarttheengine.

“Well?”Alexsaid.
“Igaveupdrinking.Cleanedoutthehouse.Haven’thadadropforalmosttwoweeks.”
“Whathappenedtomakeyoustop?”
Marshallscoffed.“Assholebrotherofminebrokemynose,foronething.Hurtlikehell.Ispent

thenextthreedaysmedicatingwithJack.Wokeupthefourthdayandithitme.”

“Whatdid?”
“Everything.Thingsyousaid,Mompleadingwithme.Afterseventy-twohoursofnothingbut

drunk,Istillachedfromfightingyou.Theliquorhadn’tdoneathing.”

“It’sunreliablethatway.”Alexwatchedawomanandthreelittlekidswalkdownthesidewalk.

“Soyoujustdecided?Justlikethat?”

“Wentcoldturkey.I’vebeenlookingforajob.”
ThatmadeAlexturnhishead.“Yeah?”
“Gotacoupleofgoodleads.We’llseewhathappens.”
Alexnoticedhisbrotherhadgottenahaircut.Shaved.Maybehewasseriousaboutstraightening

up.

“Anyway,”Marshallsaid,“Justwantedtosaythanks.”
“Thanksforbreakingyournose?”

“No,I’mstillpissedaboutthat.”Marshallfiddledwiththekeysdanglingfromtheignition.“For

havingyouracttogether,Iguess.”

Alexlaughed.“Dude,I’mnottheWorthsiblingwithanythingresemblinganacttogether.”
“That’sbull.”
Hescowled.“Whathousehaveyoulivedinforthepastthirty-whateveryears?”
“I’llgiveyou,youwereascrewupinschool.Whenyouwentintothemilitary,though,you

figureditout.Madeupforlosttime.”

Alexreclinedhisseatenoughsohecouldputafootuponthedash,earningafrownof

disapprovalfromhisbrother.“Notsosureaboutthat.Iwasgivenapurpose.Ilearnedtofly
helicopters.That’sdifferentfromyouandVee.”

Marshall’sstareburnedintothesideofhisfacebutherefusedtomakeeyecontact.Thewhole

subjectmadehimuncomfortableashell.Whatmanlikedtotalkabouthisweaknesses?

“Youreallystillthinklikethat,don’tyou?”Marshallasked.
“Likewhat?”
“Likeyou’renotgoodenough.You’vealwayscomparedyourselftous.Soweknewwhatwe

wantedtodobeforewefinishedhighschool.Sowewenttocollege.Sowhat?”

Alexshookhishead.
“Forwhatit’sworth,Irespectthehelloutofwhatyoudo.”Marshall’svoicewasquiet.Sincere.
ItsurprisedAlexintolookingathim.
“What?”Marshallsaid.
Again,Alexshookhishead.
“Youwanttocompare?Okay,we’llcompare,andthenI’mshuttingthehellupbecauseIdon’t

wantyourheadgettinganybigger.Iwritemagazinearticlesaboutlakesandbirdspecies.You?”He
chuckled.“Youshootdownbadguys.”

“Untilabadguyshootsmedown.”Heforcedhismindnottogothere.Notrightnow.
“You’readamnhero.Withmedals.”
Somehero.Whatkindofa“hero”treatedhisbestfriend’ssisterthewayhe’dtreatedTaylor?He

wasn’tanydamnhero.

“Lookatyou,”Marshallcontinued,andAlexbegantothinkmaybeitwasbetterwhenthey

weren’tonspeakingterms.Theguydidn’tshutupwhenhegotadumbidea.“Lookwhatyou’vebeen
through.Ilostastinkingjob.Acompany.AndInearlyletitdomein.Youlostabestfriend.Maybea
career.Andyou’vebeenfightingyourwaybackthewholetime.”

“Mytherapistdischargedmeyesterday.Doctorjustagreedwithher.Allthat’sleftisconvincing

thearmydocs.”

“What’sthatmeanexactly?”
“MeansI’mrecovered.AsgoodasI’mgoingtoget.TheyboththinkIwon’thaveanytrouble

flying.”

“Andyou’rejustnowmentioningthis?”
“Youstartedinwithallthissappyrah-rahshit,”Alexsaid.“Couldn’tgetawordinedgewise.”

Helookedathiswatch,anideatakingshape.“Domeafavor.Drivemeovertotheairportinsteadof
home.”

“Whatfor?”
“BecauseIcanfly.I’vegotaconnectionthere,retiredarmyofficerwhogivesflyinglessons.

LongtimeagohetoldmeanytimeIwantedtotakeoneofhisbirdsout,tolethimknow.”

“Youreadyforthat?”
ThefirstbuzzofexcitementzippedthroughAlexandhispalmsstartedsweatingatthethoughtof

beinginacockpitagain.LiketherotorsofaBlackhawkwhentheyfirststartedup,hisheartgradually

acceleratedtillitwasracinginanticipation.“Readylikeyouwouldn’tbelieve.Youeverbeenina
bird?”

“No.”
“Wanttogouponyourfirsthelicopterride?”
Marshallstaredoutthewindshield,consideringit.“I’mmoreofadesk-jobkindofguybut…

maybeIcouldwriteanarticleabouttheexperienceorsomething.Let’sgo.I’llgiveitatry.”

Anarticle.Alexgrinnedandshookhishead.Heandhisbrotherwerebacktobeingdifferentas

dayandnight.Butforthefirsttime,herealizedmaybethatwasallright.

UTWITHTHEOLD

AYLOR

thoughtasshesurveyedtheendlessboxesinthelivingroomofthebungalow.

Theproverbhadreverberatedthroughhermindallday.

Thismovewasprobablylongoverdueanditreallyhadcometosymbolizebreakingtiestoher

past.Quinn.Hermom.Evenherdadtoanextent,thoughhermemoriesofhiminthathousewere
limited.

Alex.
Hisnameechoedinherheadwithoutherpermission,buthewaspartofthepast,aswell.A

fleetingpart.

Theoldhouseheldghostsandshe’dclungtothemforlongenough.ThesightofQuinn’sempty

bedroomeverydaydidnothingtolessenthelonelinessthathadbecomeevenworsethesepastthree
weekssinceshe’dblurtedherfeelingstoAlexandscaredhimaway.Ithadtakenherawhiletorealize
thatsellingitwouldn’tmakethegoodmemoriesdisappear.Shecouldtakethosewithherwherever
shewent.

Someoneknockedonthefrontdoorbehindherandshewonderedifthemovingcrewhad

forgottensomething.Theyhadhermoney—andtheirhelphadbeenwortheverypenny.Allshe’d
donewaswatchanddirect.

Beforeshecouldgettothedoorshe’djustshut,Viennaopeneditandpokedherheadin.
“Isitsafetoenter?”Viennaworeablackbusinesssuit,conservativeheelsandmoremakeupthan

usual.Shecarriedabagonhershoulder,likelysomecomfortableclothestochangeinto.

“It’sassafeasit’sgoingtoget,”Taylorsaid.“Thebigburlymovingmenjustleft.”
“Pity.Anylistguys?”
“Thelistisdead.Youknowthat.Thoughtheleadmoverwaskindofcute.Niceguy.”
“Oh?And?”Viennakickedoffherheelsandpushedthemtothewall.
“Andnothing.I’vebeenrejectedenoughforthenextdecade.InsteadofahusbandIhavethe

cutesthouseontheblock.”

“Andboxes.”Viennamadeafaceasshelookedaround.“Ican’twaittogetoutoftheseclothes.

Isthebathroomaccessible?”

“It’stheonebox-freeroominthehouse.”Onlybecausethefrontbathroomwastoosmallto

holdany.“Howwastheinterview?”

Viennaleftthedoortothebathroomopenasshechangedclothesandholleredherreply.“Itwas

fine,Iguess.ButIdon’thavegreatfeelingsaboutit.”

TaylorspottedaboxinthelivingroommarkedOfficesoshepickeditupandcarriedittothe

frontbedroom.“Whynot?”sheaskedasshepassedthedoorwaytothebathroom.

Viennajoinedherintheoffice-to-be,stilltyingthedrawstringonhershorts.Shewrinkledher

noseandshookherhead.“Just…feltlikethewholethingwascanned.IfIhadtoguess,theyhavethe
persontheywantandthey’rejustgoingthroughinterviewstofillaquota.”

“Ihateitwhentheydothat.It’sunfairandmisleading.”Taylorsatonherdeskchairandswiveled

tolookatalltheboxesinthisroom.She’dbeunpackingforaweekjusttogetherofficeinorder.
Alreadyshewasfeelingtwitchywithouthertrustycomputerhookedup,butfirstshe’dhavetolocate
it.

“Iwasn’tinlovewiththatjobanyway,”Viennasaid.“ThoughIamstartingtostressoutjustabit.

It’sSeptember,Taylor.Schoolhasstartedupagain.I’mnotthereand…I’mnotworking.Idon’tknow
whatI’mgoingtodo.”

“It’searlyyet.Wecouldstartupourroundsoftheprofessionalgroupsagain,onlythistime

forgetthechecklistpartofit.”

“Maybe.”Viennawanderedaround,readingthelabelsoftheboxes.“HaveyoutalkedtoAlexat

all?”

JusthearinghisnameoutloudshotasearingpainthroughTaylor.Shewastired,soverytiredof

hurting.“Whatdoyouthink?”

Viennafacedher.Tookadeepbreath.“He’sflyingoutMondaytoseeifthemedicalboardwill

approvehimtogobacktoactiveduty.”

Taylorpropelledherselfoffthechairandovertothetopboxonthecloseststack.Sheworked

herfingernailunderthetapeuntilshecouldripitopen,unawareanduncaringwhichboxshe’d
chosen.

Somanydifferentemotionsreeledthroughherandheldontotheentirestackofboxesand

closedhereyesforamoment,herbacktoVienna.Thenewsmeanthe’dgottenthroughhistherapyas
he’dhoped.Sheknewhowimportantthatwastohim,andshewasbothproudofhimandhappyfor
him.Buttwistedupwiththosepositiveemotionsweredarkones.

“Ididn’tthinkyouknew,”herfriendsaid.“ThoughtI’dtellyouincase…”
TheboxwasopennowandTaylorpulledoutitemsthatbelongedonthetopofherdesk.Pencil

holder.Mousepad.Pop-upsticky-noteholder.Noneofwhichshesawasshesetthemonthedesk.“In
casewhat?”

“Idon’tknow.Maybeyouwanttoseehimonemoretimebeforehegoes?”
Thethoughtoffacinghimmadeherstomachknotup.
“Vienna.”Shecontinuedtosetitemsonthedeskwithoutbotheringtoconsiderwherethey

belonged.“IdideverythingIcan.Itoldhimeverything.Imadeafoolofmyselfinsistingthathefelt
thesameway.”Shecouldn’thandleit.“Idon’twanttoseehimagain.”

Viennacameoverandstartedtohelpher.“I’msorry,Taylor.Iunderstandcompletely.Ijust

thoughtyoushouldknow.”

“Whatifhegetskilledoverthere?”ThefearpoppedoutbeforeTaylorcouldstopit.
Viennaletoutalong,noisybreathandsatonthetopofthedesk.“Iknow.Ihateit.ButAlexis

goodatwhathedoes.Hehastobeoreveryoneonthathelicopterwouldhavebeendead.”

Taylornodded,tryingtotakesolaceinwhatsheknewwasthetruth.Alexwouldbeokay.
Thebiggerquestionwas…wouldshe?
“It’sgoingtogeteasier.”
“When?”Taylorasked.
“Umm,nottoday,Iguess.”Viennahuggedher.“You’removingforward,though.Newhouse.

Newlife.You’regoingtobeokay.”

“I’mholdingyoutothat,”Taylormumbled.
Assoonasshegothercomputerconnected,shewasgoingonlinetofindaplaqueforherwall.

Outwiththeold,inwiththenew.

Shejusthopedthenewwasbetterthantheold.

CHAPTERTWENTY-NINE

SINGTHEACCIDENT

asanexcusenottolive.

Likehell.
Alexstalkedoffthewidedockwherehe’dtiedtheboat,thelate-afternoonsuncastingalong

shadowonthepavementinfrontofhim.

Hewasdoingeverythinghecouldtogetbacktohislife.Tomorrow,heflewouttobeevaluated

bythearmy’smedicalboard,andiftheyapprovedhim,thingswouldmovefast.Hefeltgoodabout
hischances.Hisdoctorherehadbeenamazedathisprogress,saidheneverwouldhaveguessedAlex
couldgetsomuchmusclecontrolback.

Sothefuturewaslookingpromising,likehe’dsoonbeexactlywherehe’dwantedtobe—flying

overseasinthemiddleoftheactionagain.

Hetoldhimselfhislackofenthusiasmwasjustnerves.Completelynormalafterwhathad

happenedthelasttimehe’dbeeninaBlackhawk.Allthecounselingintheworldwouldn’tbeableto
preventafewjitters.

Still,Taylor ’saccusationscontinuedtobotherhim,nomatterhowmuchheattemptedtoblock

themoutandjustgoonwithhislifethewayhe’dplanned.

Afterparkingtheboattrailerandthepickuptruckhe’dborrowedfromMr.Mooney,their

neighbor,AlexjoggedbackdowntothedockandhoppedintoQuinn’sboat.Hisboat.Heignoredany
trepidationabouttakingoutQuinn’sboatwithouthim.Hecouldfaceuptothisjustfine.

He’dbroughthistackleboxalongwitharodandreel,justincasehefeltinclinedtoputalinein,

butmostlythiswasaboutprovinghecouldgooutintheboat.Marshall,wholikedfishingaboutas
muchashelikedgettingarootcanal,hadofferedtocomealong.Alexhadrefused.Thiswas
somethinghehadtodoalone.

Hestartedthemotor,steeredawayfromthedockandstoppedthinking.Theworries,the

memories,theuneasiness,theyallfellawayasheslippedintoautopilotmode.Heallowedthepeace
ofbeingonthewaterafterallthistimetoenvelophim.Losthimselfinit.Didn’tmakeasingle
consciousdecision.Withinminutes,herealizedhe’dtakentheboattooneofthesecluded,brush-
coveredcovesthatheandQuinnhadfavoredforbassfishing.

Alexlettheboatdriftinthecalmwater.Leaningbackasfarastheseatwouldlethim,he

stretchedhislegsout,relaxed.Soakedupthesunshineandthefamiliarchirpsandbuzzesofbirdsand
insects,theperiodicsplashorrippleinthewater.Heabsentlyremovedthecoverfromthestorage
compartmentnexttohimandglanceddown.

I’llbedamned.
Quinn’shigh-dollaraviatorsunglasses,theoneshe’dthoughthe’dlostinanairportwhenhe

wasonleavelastyear.UgliestglassesAlexhadeverseen,andhe’dtoldhisfriendthatfrequently.
Pointedouthewasbetteroffwithoutthem.

Andheretheywere.
Alexchuckledaloudashestaredatthem.Hetookoffhisownshadesandputthemon.Lookedat

himselfinthereflectionoftheglasseshe’dtakenoff.Nope.Theywerestillugly.Quinnhadalways
maintainedtheywereuglyoneveryonebuthimandmaybehe’dhadapoint.

Alexswitchedglassesagainandtriedtoignorethathiseyeshadgonedamp.Hetookadeep

breathandlookedupatthebright-blue,cloudlesssky.

“Shittydayforfishing,”Quinnwouldhavesaid.Alexcouldhearhisvoice,clearasday,asifhe

wasthereintheboatbesidehim.They’dalwayspreferredcool,cloudyweather.

Alexshookhisheadandleanedforward,perchinghisforearmsonhisknees.Alumpthesizeof

ahandgrenadefilledhisthroat.Hesqueezedhiseyesshut,knowingsuddenlywhatitmustfeelliketo
haveanearbyexplosionknockyoubackahundredfeetandontoyourass.

Suckinginairandtryingtoignorethephysicalpain,hestoodupintheboatandgrabbedhis

pole.Hehadn’tplannedtoactuallydropaline,sohedidn’thaveanylivebait,buthehadalureortwo
thatwouldworkhere.Hepreppedhisline,thencastitclosetoabranchthatprotrudedfromthewater.

Hewasgoingtocatchenoughdamnfishfortwo.
Hespentagoodtenminutesslowlyreelinginthelineandcastingitbackoutbeforehegaveup.

Proppedthepoleupwiththelinestillinthewater,notcaringifittangledinthebranchesbeneaththe
water ’ssurface.Hedoubtedhe’dcatchathingthatway,butwhenyougotdowntoit,thatdidn’treally
matter,didit?Thereweren’ttwomenhere.Justhimandaghost.

Heswallowedseveraltimes.Clearedhisthroat.“I’msodamnsorry,man.”
QuinnwasburiedhereinMadison,Alexknew,buthe’dneverbeentovisithisgrave.Thiswas

why.

MaybeTaylorhadbeenright,afterall.
Hewasstuck.Notmovingon.Becausehewastoomuchofacowardtofacethememoryof

Quinn.Scratchthat,tofacehisownjumbleofguiltandregret.

Well,tohellwiththat.
HepickedupQuinn’ssunglassesagainandcrackedanothersadgrinjustlookingatthem.
“Youshouldstillbehere,”hesaidtonoone.“Godwilling,I’mheadingbacktofightthefight

soon,justlikeyouwould’vedone.”Hisvoicesoundedstrange,loudinthepeacefulsetting.

“I’llneverinathousandyearsbeasnobleaboutthewholethingasyouwere.YouknowI’ve

alwaysbeenmoreinterestedinplayingwiththebigtoysthanfightingforfreedom.”Hepaused,
needingtogetcontrolofhimselfeventhoughtherewasnoonearoundbutafewbirdstoseehis
breakdown.“Youwereonehellofasoldier.Thebest…”

Andhe’ddiedforthecause.Dieddoingwhathewasmadetodo,fightingforwhathe’dbelieved

inmorethanjustaboutanything.Taylor ’sinsistenceonthatpointcamebacktohimnowlikea
flamingboomerang.Nowayhecouldmissitthistime.

BeingKIAwaswhatitwasallaboutforQuinn.Notthathe’dhavechosentodie—he’dnever

beenoneofthosecrazySOBswhohadadeathwishandalwayspushedthelimits,tookunnecessary
risks.Quinnhadwantedtofightforhiscountrytillthefightwasover.Andhe’ddieddoingwhathe,
morethanjustaboutanyguyAlexknew,hadlivedfor.

Quinnwouldhavesatbackandgottenthatsatisfiedgrinonhisface,noddedemphaticallyatthe

waythingshadended.

Andhe’dkickAlex’sassfortakingthislongtounderstandthat.
“It’sawar,”Quinnhadsaidoneearlymorninginthisveryboat.“Peoplecandie.YouandI

coulddie.”He’dstaredoffatthetreesontheshore,lostinthought.“Hellofalotbetterthangetting
hitbyatruckcrossingthestreetonthewaytotheconveniencestoreifyouaskme.”

Alexrememberedtheconversationlikeitwaslastweek,notnineortenyearsago.Eventhen,

especiallythen,Quinnhadbeenallaboutthecause.Nine-elevenhadspurredhimon,madehis
patriotismburn.He’dcampaignedtogetAlextojoinwithhimandAlexhadfinallydecidedtogiveit
atry.ThatdiscussionhadbeenQuinn’swayofmakingsureAlexwascoolwithwhattheywere
gettinginto.He’dwantedhisbuddytoexperienceitwithhim,butonlyifAlexreallywantedto.

Atthatpoint,Alexhad.He’ddriftedaroundafterhighschool,knowingcollegewasn’tforhim

butnotknowingwhatwas,andwhenQuinnannouncedhisplans,Alexhadbeenreadyforachange.
He’dknowntherehadtobemoreoutthere,somethingthatclickedforhim,andhehadn’tbeenableto
findithereinMadison,Wisconsin.

He’dneverthoughtaboutflyinganythinguntilhe’dcomeacrossthepossibilityinbasictraining.

Theideahadsparkedsomethinginhim,aninteresthehadn’tfeltformuchofanythingbesideshigh-
schoolsportsandgirls.

Forhim,fromthenon,itwasallaboutbeingseveralthousandfeetofftheground,thecontrols

inhishandsandunderhisfeet.Whenyougotdowntoit,hedidn’tneedaBlackhawk.Hejustlovedto
fly.Armyornot.

SuddenlyhecouldhearQuinn’svoiceinhisheadagain,pointingoutthathecouldflyanywhere,

justasMarshallhadinsisted.Withoutsleepingonarock-hardbunkorcheckinghisbootsforcobras
orscorpions.Withoutmuchchanceofgettingshotoutofthesky.

Andevenmore,hecouldhearQuinntellinghimhewasadamnidiotfordoingwhatQuinn

wouldwanttodoinsteadofwhathewanted.

Alexstoodandrealizedtherewasnowheretopace.
Hesatbackdownandreeledinhislineuntilitgottangled.Insteadoffightingwithit,hecutit.

Thereweremoreimportantthingstoworryabout.

CHAPTERTHIRTY

AYLORWASKNOWLEDGEABLE

aboutalotofdifferentsubjects,butflowerbulbswasdecidedlynotoneof

them.Luckyforher,somegloriouspersonhadhadtheforesighttowriteabookonhowtoplant
them.

Liketheoldhouse,thelandscapingatthenewonewasminimal.Cared-forbutuninspired.Ithad

neverbotheredherbefore,butnowthatsheownedherveryownadorablebungalow,shewas
determinedtomakeitarealhome.

Shewasturninghersightsforward,makingasatisfyingfutureforherself.Lettinggoofpast

misconceptions,fromthefearofnotbeinggoodenoughtothebeliefsheneededamantobehappy.
Thepastfewmonthshadchangedher,andthoughthesummerhadn’texactlybeenabreeze,shewas
morecomfortablewithherself.Despitethedatingdisasters,shehadplentyofpositiveexperiences,as
well.

Shebelongedtoanewmathclubthatsheanticipatedgoingtoeverymonth.She’dgainedanew

confidenceforhandlingdates—notthatshe’dhadanylately.Butshewouldn’tgetsoscaredshe’d
wanttohurlthenexttimeshedid.Newhouse,newfriend,newattitude,newdecoratingchallenge,
newlandscapingobjectives.

Byspring,ifthehow-tobookcouldbebelieved,she’dhaveahostoftulips,irisesanddaffodils,

notnecessarilyinthatorder.Toher,thebloom-filledspringsymbolizedhope.Thenew,improved,
independentTaylor,whodidmorethanworktwelve-hourdaysandhideinheroffice.Theonewho
wasfinewithoutaman.

Shecoulddothis.
“Thathastobethebiggestmessyou’veevermadeinyourlife.”
Thefamiliarmalevoicefrozeherheartforamoment,thenreleaseditlikearacehorseoutof

theblocks.

Alex.
He’dcometotellhergoodbye.
Thestrong,independentrah-rahtalkshe’dbeengivingherselfthirtysecondsagowentoutthe

window,sotospeak.Squeezinghereyestightlyshutbeforefacinghim,shecoachedherselfto
breathe.Nottoletthisbreakherdown.She’dexposedherselfinfrontofhimalready—hedidn’tneed
toseehercryagain.

Taylorglancedaroundher,avoidinghim,andrealizedhewasright.Variousgardeningtools,

theglovesshe’dshedinfrustration,theprescriptionsunglassesthatwereoverkillnowthatshewore
contacts,andasportsbottlehalf-fulloficedteawerescatteredallovertheflowerbedandthe
walkwayinfrontofit.She’dmanagedtotrack,spreadandsplatterloosedirteverywhere.

“Theysaymessinessisasignofgenius.”Shekickedsomedirtbackintothebed.“I’vealways

wantedtousethatline.Neverhadthechancebefore.”

Everythingthey’dbeenthroughandhereshewas,babblinglikeafool.
Alexreachedherwalkwaythenandshefinallyfacedhim.
Drat.Hestillknockedheroffherproverbialfeet.Threeweekshadn’tdoneathingtodullthat

response.

Heworecargosagain,butforthefirsttime,theywereshorts.AnoldT-shirtshowedhehadn’t

putalotofthoughtintolookinggoodforher,eventhoughhelookedsogoodinheropinionshe
wantedtocry.Heheldasmallunmarkedpapersackinonehand.

Hishairlookedwindblown,hisunshavenfacetanned.Hiseyeswerejustaspenetratingas

always,thoughtheynolongermadeherfeeldisconcerted.Much.Hisdarkeyebrowsarchedasifhe
wereaskingifitwasokayforthemtotalk.

“Ioweyouanapology,ortwelve,”hesaidinalowvoiceasheapproachedher.Hethoughtto

glancearoundandensuretheirprivacy.

Shesilentlywilledhimtotalkfast,unsurehowlonghercomposurewouldholdout.Shehadhalf

amindtotellhimhedidn’toweheranything,butthiscouldbethelasttimeshesawhim.Itwasbestto
geteverythingoutintheopen—sheknewthatfromexperience.

“I’msorryaboutthedayatthelake,”hesaid,movingcloserstilluntilshecouldsmellhim,

outdoorsy,virile.

Shemustsmelllikesoilandearthworms.Theleasthecouldhavedonewaswarnedherhewas

comingover.Ofcourse,thenshewouldhavebeenhard-pressedtostickaroundlongenoughtosee
him.

“There’snothingto—”
“Yes.Thereis.Ididn’thandlethatwellatall.Icouldmakeadozenexcuses,butwhatitcomes

downtoisthatIhurtyou.Iregretthat.”

Hisvoicelulledher.Itluredherintorememberingthesoundofitintheearly-morninghours,

thefeelofhisbreathonherearasthey’dtalkedforhoursafter…

Yeah.Shewasnotgoingthere.
“I’malsosorryforusingyourbrotherasanexcusefornotlettingmyselfreallybewithyou.”
Oh,lord,shedidn’twanttogothroughthisrightnow.Righthere.Thelastthingsheneededwas

forherneighborstoseethenewgirllosingitinfrontofherhouse.

“It’sokay,Alex,”shesaidhoarsely.“I’mnotmadatyou.Youdon’thavetosayallthis.”
“AndI’msorryforsneakingawayfromyouthatfirstnightbeforethesuncameup—”
“Stop.Please.”
“I’mmessingthisup,aren’tI?”
“Messingwhatup?”
Helookedatthedirtyground,ahalfgrinonhisface.“Youusedtobetheonewhowastongue-

tied.You’renotthatgirlanymore,areyou?”

Shetiltedherhead,wonderingifhe’dbeensniffinghouseholdchemicals.“No?Imeankindof.”

Shesmiledinspiteofherselfatthewayshewastanglingherwordsnow.“Thatsamegirlisstillin
here.Obviously.”

Henodded,studyingherclosely.“Ilikeher.Bothhers.Thetongue-tiedTaylorandtheupgraded

model.”

“Alex,what…”
“Iloveyou,Taylor.”
Hermouthclosedandhereyeswidened.Shehadthesensationoffallingbackwardandhaving

thebreathknockedoutofher.

“You…what?”
Hetookherhandinhisemptyone,ranhisthumbgently,lovinglyoverherfingers.“I’man

idiot.”

“That’snotwhatyousaid.”
“Botharetrue.Iloveyou.AndI’manidiotfornotlettingmyselfloveyousooner.”
Allthebloodinherbodyrushedintoherchest.Chillsshotthroughher.Maybethiswashowit

felttoinhaletoomuchhelium,shethought.Thenshelaughed.

“Ouch,”hesaid,lacingtheirfingerstogether.“Andwomenwonderwhyguysdon’ttalkabout

theirfeelings.”

“Onemoretime,”shesaid.“Tellme.”
First,hetoldherwithoutwords.Heleaneddownandclosedthefewinchesbetweenthemashe

pressedhislipstohers.Itwassomehowthemosttender,emotionaltouchthey’dsharedyet,even
thoughitlastedmeresecondsandwaschasteenoughtheneighborswouldn’tgetthewrongidea.

“Iloveyou,TaylorMcCabe.Scarlet,too.”Hebreathedthewordsoverhertemple,intoherear,

andsheletthemsinkin.

“Umm…”Shefeastedhereyesonhisface,hisstraightnose,squarechin,angledcheeks.

Giddinesswasthreateningtoincapacitateherbutsheneededtounderstandbeforeshegavein.“You
saidyou…couldn’t.”

“Icouldn’tletmyself.Orthat’swhatIthought.Turnsoutyouwereright.”
“Iwasright,”sherepeated,tryingtoslowthehopethatwasblossominginsideofher.
“Iwasstuck.”
Aslowsmiletuggedatherlips.“DidIsaythat?”
“Iwasusingtheaccidentasanexcusenottolive.”
Thesmiledisappeared.“Andnow?What’schanged?”
“IfoundQuinn’ssunglasses,”hesaid,takingthemfromhisbeltlooporhisbackpocketwhere

he’dapparentlyhookedthem.

“Theoneshelost.HemusthaveemailedmetentimesaskingifI’dfoundthem.”
“Theywereintheboat.Inthesidestoragecompartment.”
“Okay.And…theyheldthesecrettotheuniverse?”
“Somethinglikethat.Didanyoneevertellyouyou’vegotalittleofyourbrother ’ssmart-

alecknessinyou?”

“Never.Alex?”
“I’mgettingtoit.”Hetookherbythehandandledhertothewidestepsofthefrontporch.He

satonthetoponeandpulledherdownnexttohim.“Let’sjustsayIfaceduptosomeghostsI’dbeen
avoiding.Figuredoutsomethings.TheabridgedversionisthatIwasgoingbacktothearmyforthe
wrongreasons.”

Herhopedipped.“Andnowyou’regoingfortherightreasons?”
“I’mnotgoing.I’mresigningmycommission.”
Shewaitedforhimtoexplain,onthevergeofjumpingoutofherskin.
“FlyingiswhatIlove,Taylor.Adistantsecondafteryou,”headdedquicklywithasheepishgrin.

“I’mnotlikeQuinn.Idon’tlovethemilitary.I’vegotacoupleofleadsonopportunitieshereflying
helicopters.Iwanttobewithyou.”

“You’reovertheQuinnthing?Thinkinghewouldn’tapprove?”
“It’slikehewasonthatboatwithmeandheknockedmeoverthehead.Iunderstandnowthat

there’sadifferencebetweenmessingaroundwithyourbestfriend’slittlesisterandfallinginlove
withher.Hewouldhavecalledmeonitlongago.Hewould’vebeenthefirstinlinetoseeus
together…aslongasImakeyouhappy.AsIsaidbefore,Iwasanidiot.”

“Youwere,kindof,”Tayloragreed.
“Ideservedthat.”
“ButI’vealwaysadmiredamanwhocanlearnfromhismistakes.Usuallyinmyexperienceit’s

beeninalaboronacomputer,butboatswork,too.”

Heangledtowardherandkissedher,deeply,thoroughlythistime.Shepulledhimcloseandthey

fellbackward,laughing,ontotheporchfloor,Alexpartlyontopofher.Toheckwithwhatthe

neighborsthought.

Thesackhe’dbeenholdingclunkedtothestepinfrontofhimandtheyignoredit,theirlips

seekingeachotherhungrily,playfully.Asseconds,maybeminutes,passed,andtheurgencybetween
themgrew,Taylorbecameawarethatshedidinfacthavelimitsastowhatshewantedtheneighbors
towitness.Shebrokethekissandproppedherselfuponherelbow.

“What’sinthesack?”sheasked,attemptingtobreatheevenly.
Alexlookedmomentarilyembarrassed,somethingshe’dneverseenbefore.Hesatupand

retrievedthesackbutdidn’topenit.“Well,it’sSundaynight,”hesaidunnecessarily.“Iwasplanning
onleavingtowntomorrowuntilabouttwohoursago,soIhadtothinkfasttodosomethingthat
might…meansomethingtoyou.”

“Okaaay.”Shenarrowedhereyesathim,curious.
“Ihaven’tpickedoutaringyet…”Hesetthebagonthestepnexttohimandtookherhandsin

his.

Hereyespoppedwiderandshemighthavemadeanembarrassingsquealingnoise.
“Willyoumarryme,Taylor?”
Shedefinitelysquealedandcrawleduponhislap,throwingherarmsaroundhim.“Yes.

Unequivocallyyes,Iwillmarryyou,AlexWorth.”Kissinghim,shesettledintohisbody,hisarms
aroundher,envelopingherinsafetyand,atlonglast,love.

“We’llpickoutaringasbeautifulasyoutomorrow,”hesaid,brushingherhairoffhercheek.

“ButIdohavesomethingforyounow.Somethingpractical.”

Hepickedupthebagandtookoutabook.
“WeddingPlanningBasics,”sheread.“Thebride-to-be’sguide.”
TearsfellfromTaylor ’seyesbeforeshecouldstopthem.SheburiedherfaceinAlex’sshirt.

“Youknowmesowell,”shesaidintohischest.“But…”

“What’swrong?”
“Nothing,”shesaidquickly.“Notathing.Butabookonweddings?It’skindofmakingitblack

andwhite.AndI’vebeentryingsomethingnew.Lessplanning.Moregrayarea.Someoneoncetold
methatloveisn’tblackandwhite.”

Alexlaughedandkissedhertemplesotenderlyshealmostexpiredrightthereontheporchsteps.

“Someone,huh?”

Taylornodded,unabletostopthegargantuangrinonherface.
“Soundslikeareallysmartsomeone.”
Shestaredintohiseyes.“Absolutely.He’sbrilliant.Sowhatdoyousay?Woulditbeokayifwe

putthebookontheshelfandtriedgoingoninstinct?”

Hetrailedhisfingeroverherlowerlipbeforepressinganotherkissthere.“Whateverittakesto

makemybrainybeautyhappy.”

“I’dgiveseriousthoughttocomposingalistforyouaboutthat,butactually,you’vegotit

covered.Perfectly.”

ISBN:978-1-4592-8241-4

BECAUSEOFTHELIST

Allrightsreserved.Exceptforuseinanyreview,thereproductionorutilizationofthisworkinwhole
orinpartinanyformbyanyelectronic,mechanicalorothermeans,nowknownorhereafter
invented,includingxerography,photocopyingandrecording,orinanyinformationstorageor
retrievalsystem,isforbiddenwithoutthewrittenpermissionofthepublisher,HarlequinEnterprises
Limited,225DuncanMillRoad,DonMills,Ontario,CanadaM3B3K9.

Thisisaworkoffiction.Names,characters,placesandincidentsareeithertheproductofthe
author ’simaginationorareusedfictitiously,andanyresemblancetoactualpersons,livingordead,
businessestablishments,eventsorlocalesisentirelycoincidental.

ThiseditionpublishedbyarrangementwithHarlequinBooksS.A.

Forquestionsandcommentsaboutthequalityofthisbookpleasecontactusat
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www.Harlequin.com

TheTexasFirefighters

Document Outline

LETTER TO READER
TITLE PAGE
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
BOOKS BY AMY KNUPP
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
CONTENTS
CHAPTER ONE
CHAPTER TWO
CHAPTER THREE
CHAPTER FOUR
CHAPTER FIVE
CHAPTER SIX
CHAPTER SEVEN
CHAPTER EIGHT
CHAPTER NINE
CHAPTER TEN
CHAPTER ELEVEN
CHAPTER TWELVE
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
CHAPTER NINETEEN
CHAPTER TWENTY
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
CHAPTER THIRTY
COPYRIGHT

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