Table of Contents
Other books by Nicolette Day
Dedication
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Epilogue
Acknowledgments
About the Author
Discover the Falling for You series...
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O
THER
BOOKS
BY
N
ICOLETTE
D
AY
YA
BOOKS
WRITING
AS
T
ARA
F
ULLER
T
EMPTED
BY
THE
S
OLDIER
A
F
ALLING
FOR
Y
OU
NOVEL
N
ICOLETTE
D
AY
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the
author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons,
living or dead, is coincidental.
Copyright © 2014 by Tara Fuller. All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce, distribute, or
transmit in any form or by any means. For information regarding subsidiary rights, please contact the
Publisher.
Entangled Publishing, LLC
2614 South Timberline Road
Suite 109
Fort Collins, CO 80525
Visit our website at
Brazen is an imprint of Entangled Publishing, LLC. For more information on our titles, visit
Edited by Nina Bruhns and Kari Olson
Cover design by Heather Howland
ISBN 978-1-62266-495-5
Manufactured in the United States of America
First Edition February 2014
For my beautiful, brilliant, and supportive mother. Thank you for always being my biggest fan.
Chapter One
C
HARLOTTE,
N
ORTH
C
AROLINA
J
ULY
“I can’t believe I’m doing this.” Lilly Grayson tapped her heel against the floor under the Starbucks
table and sipped on her third cup of coffee that morning. Across the table her roommate, Paige, gave
an answering grimace.
A nauseating mixture of caffeine and apprehension buzzed through Lilly’s veins as she watched the
glass door to the coffee shop. Any minute the bane of her existence was going to walk through that
door, and she was going to be expected to play nice and rely on him for help. Walking on broken
glass sounded more appealing. In her experience, the only thing you could rely on Nate Jennings for
was a mind-melting orgasm. Expecting anything more only led to disappointment.
Outside, the source of her current crisis was whipping the trees into a frenzy and filling the sky with
ominous-looking clouds.
Tropical Storm Cindy.
More like Tropical Storm Pain-In-My-Ass.
Didn’t Mother Nature know Lilly was not to be screwed with this weekend? She had a wedding to
get to. And not just any wedding. This was Hayden’s wedding. Her former boss was going to
annihilate her if she didn’t get her camera to Vermont by Saturday to document the Jace Jennings
saying the big “I do.” An event like this deserved a spot in National Geographic, for God’s sake. She
could see the headline now.
W
ILD
J
ENNINGS
B
ROTHER
T
AM ED
AND
W
ED!
And her neurotic, obsessive-compulsive friend trusted Lilly to be her wedding photographer. When
that friend was a photographer herself, an award-winning Time Magazine photographer, that meant
something. This wasn’t just any job. This was a job that neither tropical storms, canceled flights, nor
douchebag ex-Marines could get in the way of. Hayden hadn’t just been a boss to Lilly for three
years. Somehow she’d wormed her way past the barriers Lilly kept around her heart and become one
of her closest friends. Which meant letting her down wasn’t an option. Even if that meant she was
going to be stuck with the jackass half of the Jennings brothers.
For fifteen hours.
In the cab of his truck.
Honestly, she couldn’t believe he’d even agreed to it. Especially since every time they’d been
forced into the same room together for the past year, all they’d managed to do was exchange heated
glares and cutting insults. Not that she understood what he had to be pissy about. She was the one
who’d been left a wad of cash on the dresser in lieu of a good-bye after what she had interpreted—
clearly mistakenly—as a bone-deep connection and night of life-altering sex. Then, after she’d shown
up at the club he co-owned with his brother to tell him what she thought of him and his cash, he’d had
the balls to tell her she’d been nothing more than a convenient distraction on a shitty night. And that
he’d thought a girl like her would understand a night of casual sex.
Excuse me? A girl like her?
The asshat was lucky she hadn’t introduced his nuts to her spike heels and ruined his chances at
procreation right then and there. In that fatal declaration, Nate had done the one thing she could never
forgive. He’d made her feel like a whore. And she was hell-bent on never letting it happen again.
She ripped apart a helpless Sweet’N Low packet, envisioning Nate’s smug, too-handsome face. If
she didn’t find a way to rein in her emotions, this road trip was doomed to end in disaster. Or death.
Nate’s, to be exact. And there was no way she could go to prison. She looked terrible in orange.
Guess she’d just have to get creative when hiding the body.
“I can’t believe I dragged my ass to the airport at four a.m. during a tropical storm only to find out
your flight was canceled,” Paige said. “I told you we should have checked before we left.”
Lilly tapped the shredded packet against the table and cast a withering look at her roommate. “I
was hoping for a miracle.”
Hell, it didn’t even have to be a full-blown miracle. Just a helping hand from the Big Man upstairs.
An available car at the rental desk. For Super Storm Cindy to get her panties out of a twist and go
wreak havoc anywhere other than the east coast. Anything to avoid being stuck in a vehicle for fifteen
hours with the one man she couldn’t stand.
She nearly groaned at the memory of Hayden’s words.
It’s just a ride, Lilly. One day out of your life. Besides, it’ll be good for you two to work out your
issues. You’re both going to be in Jace’s and my lives. You have to find a way to coexist.
The only issue to work out was that Nate Jennings suffered from a severe case of assholeitis.
Unless they’d found a miracle cure, she didn’t see a future that included her playing nice with soldier
boy.
Paige checked her watch. “Private Panty-Melter better show up in the next five minutes. I’ve got to
get to work.”
Lilly set her coffee down and raised a brow. “Private Panty-Melter? Really?”
Paige yawned and tucked a few strands of the long dark hair that was piled on top of her head back
into her messy bun. “Better than your names for him.”
Lilly flipped through the mental directory of colorful names she had reserved for Nate. Colonel
Cranky. Sergeant Douchebag. General Jerk.
“Nope. I still like mine better.” She pushed aside her coffee and groaned. “Maybe I could fake an
illness. Tell Hayden I came down with the Ebola virus.”
“Sounds like a good plan. I’m sure you won’t have a problem telling an award-winning Time
Magazine photographer that she’s going to have to hire Photos-Are-Us to do her wedding portraits.
You want me to try to find a coupon in the paper? It might soften the blow.”
Lilly emptied another tattered Sweet’N Low packet into her coffee and stirred. “Very funny. I pull
that, and Hayden will go all bridezilla on a tiny unsuspecting town in Vermont. Think of the carnage.”
“You do realize that your problems are my fantasies,” Paige said with a sigh. “You get offered a
road trip with a sex-on-a-stick ex-Marine with deeply repressed emotional issues who is just waiting
for some lucky girl to kiss it and make it better. And you actually expect me to feel sorry for you?”
“I don’t care if he is an American hero, or on the verge of being related to one of my best friends,
or hot enough to melt steel.” Lilly’s heart stopped when the door dinged and she looked up to find an
elderly man with a cane strolling in. She blew out a frustrated breath. “He’s still a complete jerk.”
Paige shrugged. “Maybe you should try again. People change.”
The fact that he was an hour late proved he hadn’t. He didn’t respect her time any more than he’d
respected her as a person.
“No. They don’t.” Once an unreliable asshole, always an unreliable asshole. She’d been subjected
to too many to count. Her mother had paraded enough of them through their home to last a freaking
lifetime. All just meaningless substitutes for the one man who had never wanted her for more than a
quick lay. Her father.
Lilly quickly put the lid back on that depressing box and blinked the memory of her mother’s face
away. “Why do you care so much, anyway?”
Paige folded her arms across the table, concern crinkling the space between her brows. “Because
you ate like two tubs of Ben & Jerry’s over this guy, Lil.”
“Your point?”
“My point is you’ve never stuffed your face with ice cream over a guy,” she said. “I’ve never seen
you let someone in like that. I’m just saying, I think that says something.”
“It’s not happening, Paige. Get over your sexy soldier fantasy. Trust me, I have.”
Another round of people poured through the door, none of them her ride.
Paige was right. Lilly had let Nate in. She’d let him in because for the first time in a very long time,
she’d actually found someone she liked. And in return, he’d proven that he was just like every other
male on the planet—who thought with his dick instead of his brain. Lilly followed Paige’s interested
gaze to two men standing in line. Cute. But neither sparked even a flicker of interest inside her. No
one had since her night with Nate.
Yet another reason to hate him. The bastard had broken her libido with his wonder penis. Jerk.
Without permission, her mind wandered to the memory of Nate’s mouth against hers, his shoulders
bunching under her fingertips. No one had ever kissed her that thoroughly. Touched her like he
couldn’t get enough. Made her pulse pound and her panties wet with nothing more than the perfectly
placed rumble of his voice against her ear.
She squirmed and rubbed her thighs together. Damn Hayden for doing this to her! She’d put all that
behind her. Moved on. She was perfectly happy hating Nate from afar. But she feared that being with
him in such close quarters for that long with no escape was going to put a serious chink in her self-
control.
“At least tell me you packed the clothes I laid out for you,” Paige said as she sat up straight and
tightened the red bandanna keeping her hair in place. As if she needed the touch-up to grab any man’s
attention. She was a yoga instructor, for God’s sake. The woman could bounce a quarter off of her
abdomen. Or anywhere else, for that matter. “I had to dig through your boxes for an hour just to find
them. Which brings me to my next point. You are a terrible packer.”
As if Lilly needed the reminder that in three short weeks she was going to be out of a home. With
Paige moving across town to open her new yoga studio, there was no way Lilly could afford the rent
on their apartment alone. If she didn’t find something soon, she was going to end up on her brother’s
sofa. God help her.
“Hey, I have a system,” she said. “And you better have packed those boxes back the way I had
them.”
“Stop changing the subject. Did you bring the outfits or not?”
“You mean the groomsman bait?” Lilly raised a brow. “You know I can’t show up to this wedding
looking like I’m headed to a nightclub. There may actually be some opportunities to do some
networking. I need to make a good impression.”
Paige tore her attention away from a guy with a sleeve tattoo who was returning her smile, and
faced Lilly. “Who said you have to wear it at the wedding? Why not now?”
Lilly frowned down at her leggings and off-the-shoulder pink shirt. “What’s wrong with what I’m
wearing?”
Paige shrugged and sipped her latte. “Nothing. Unless you were interested in dishing out a little
torture on Private Panty-Melter. He is an hour late. It’s not like he doesn’t deserve to be messed
with.”
Lilly tapped her coffee cup, considering. Paige had a point. While she may not be interested in
giving him any more ammunition, the idea of giving Nate a set of blue balls to match those bedroom
eyes of his sounded too good to pass up. She couldn’t let him get away with making her wait. Not
after the way he’d treated her this past year. If she let him have the upper hand this early in the trip,
she’d never live it down. With Nate it always felt like a battle, and she was in no mood to lose. The
door dinged and Lilly looked up. Not Nate. Again. As a woman in head-to-toe floral-print scrubs
walked past their table, Paige met Lilly’s gaze and raised a questioning brow.
She took a deep breath and grabbed her cup, purposely sloshing a few drops of coffee onto her
shirt. “Oh! Would you look at that? I guess I’m going to have to change, after all.”
Paige grinned. “Wear the white one. He won’t know what hit him.”
Lilly stood and rolled her carry-on toward the bathroom. When she emerged, she was clad in a
wispy white dress that brushed the back of her thighs, a snug military-green jacket and a pair of sky-
high heels that she knew made her legs look phenomenal. Not exactly the most comfortable ensemble
for a long road trip, but hey, everyone had to make sacrifices in war. Right?
She sank back down on her seat and pulled a tube of lip gloss out of her purse and swiped it across
her mouth. Paige gathered up her purse and coat, watching her with a little smirk.
“What?”
“Are we going to talk about the possibility of you screwing your archnemesis six ways to Sunday
by the time you get to Vermont? Because in that outfit, I can’t see this trip ending any other way.”
Lilly’s mouth dropped open and her face flushed with unwanted heat. “That is not going to
happen!”
Paige shrugged as she stood up to leave for work. “Never say never. Those words will always
come back to bite you in the ass.”
Lilly checked her watch, severe irritation chasing away the last vestiges of doubt in her mind.
Seventy-two minutes late. She folded her arms across her chest and glared at the entry door. “This
isn’t a seduction, Paige. It’s a war. And you can bet your last dollar that I’m going to win.”
Chapter Two
You’re so fine and you’re mine. I’ll be yours till the end of time…
Nate Jennings swept his arm across the messy nightstand on a search-and-destroy mission.
Whichever electronic device he owned that was dragging him back into consciousness was going to
die a slow and painful death. Was that…Madonna?
He slammed his fist down on what he guessed was his phone and the music ceased. With a groan he
collapsed back onto his sweat-drenched pillow. He was in the ninth circle of hell. Or maybe that was
just the hangover he’d inflicted on himself beating the shit out of his brain. Jesus H. Christ. How
much had he drunk last night?
He cracked an eye open and the empty fifth of whiskey sitting next to his bed answered his
question.
Note to self: Whiskey is not our friend.
However much he’d had to drink, it hadn’t been enough. Despite the black fog that the alcohol had
created, the nightmares had still found a way through. They always did.
He closed his eyes, trying to ignore how cold and wrong the dog tags around his neck felt against
his bare chest—especially with the memory of charred flesh and death still fresh in his mind. He
wanted to rip off the damned metal tags…but even that felt like a betrayal. The weight of them around
his neck kept him grounded. Made sure he never forgot—I’m the one who survived, and this is my
fucked-up life.
An empty fifth of whiskey. An empty bed. Everything just…empty.
He felt sick.
Like a virgin. Touched for the very first time.
The music had started up again from the floor beside his bed. Motherfucker. Nate leaned over the
mattress and grabbed his cell phone off the floor. A picture of his brother flipping him off with a shit-
eating grin on his face flashed across the screen.
“You’ve been fucking with my phone again,” Nate snapped into the receiver.
“It could have been worse. I could have gone with Miley Cyrus.”
He sat up and threw his legs over the edge of the bed, pinching the bridge of his nose. His head
throbbed, pinpricks of pain that mimicked the steady beat of helicopter blades slicing through his
thoughts.
“You’re a sick bastard. You know that, right?” he muttered.
“I’ve been trying to call you all morning. I thought I was going to have to send a search party.”
“I was sleeping.” Nate pushed himself off the bed and lumbered to the bathroom where he put the
phone on speaker and set it on the counter. Jesus. Couldn’t he have one night of getting shit-faced and
sleeping away his demons without the rest of the world beating down his door? He twisted on the
cold water and splashed his face in an effort to wash away the remnants of his nightmare.
“Why do I get the feeling ‘passed out’ is the more appropriate term here? You sound like crap,”
Jace observed. “You okay?”
Okay? Nate braced his hands on the counter and stared at his dripping reflection in the mirror. His
scars were on full display, the ridges of white flesh a cold reminder of the crash that had turned his
life upside down and inside out. He ran a hand over the tattoo on his bicep that had once been the
marine insignia his father had worn on his skin. Now the ink was broken up and unrecognizable
where hot metal and flames had licked his flesh. The nerve endings were long gone, leaving the area
numb, but days like today, he could still feel the burn.
His hands shook against the counter and he clenched them into fists to calm them. The haunted eyes
that stared back at him in the mirror made him feel like he was looking at a stranger. A stranger who
was pissing away a second chance at life. A chance he didn’t deserve . He grabbed the dog tags
around his neck and gritted his teeth, painful pressure pressing against his ribs, his heart, his skull.
Hale. Clemmons. Keller. Puckett. Rivera. Hanson. Lopez.
He blinked, and turned the water off. “I’m fine.”
Jace paused and blew out a breath on the other line. “You know…it’s okay if you’re not. You could
talk to me about it. God knows, it would be nice to talk about something other than fucking flower
arrangements and seating charts.”
Nate scrubbed a towel over his face and bit his tongue. Lashing out wasn’t going to help. It would
just make Jace feel like shit and make Nate feel even worse. They’d done this dance too many times
to count in the beginning…back when he hadn’t yet figured out how to hide just how fucked-up he was
inside. Since then he’d learned. Smile. Nod. Give Jace shit at appropriate times and keep a tight lid
on the darkness that was eating him alive. Most days he felt like he was on autopilot. But at night,
inside the quiet confines of his apartment, he crashed. Over and over again. Jace didn’t know that.
Couldn’t know that. Nate refused to drag his brother down with him. Especially when he’d finally
found the happiness he deserved. The less Jace knew, the better.
“Did you call just to bust my balls or are you getting cold feet? If you’re looking for a getaway
driver, you’ll have to look somewhere else. I’m suddenly not feeling very brotherly.”
Jace hesitated. That was always a bad sign. His brother was usually pretty straightforward…unless
he was about to drop a bomb that he knew would piss him off. Nate tensed, wondering if he’d found
out he was leaving again. God, he hoped not. That shit was something that needed to be dealt with
face to face. Man to man. And definitely not a few days before his wedding.
“I need a favor.”
“Am I supposed to be surprised?” Nate tossed his towel in the hamper, feeling awash in guilty
relief. A favor, he could handle. In fact, he’d become all too familiar with the I-need-a-favor call
from Jace over the past eight months. But then, it was a probably a real bitch trying to run a business
from the Sudan. Nate had been doing everything from slinging drinks to handling payroll at the club
they owned together while his brother was jet-setting across the globe. Nate couldn’t complain. He
had encouraged him to go after Hayden, after all. He’d just expected him to bring their girl back home
a little sooner.
“You need me to swing by the bar on my way out of town?” he asked.
“No. Nothing like that.” Jace paused. “I need you to go home.”
“I am home, jackass.”
“No…I need you to stop by Mom and Dad’s on your way to Vermont. I want to give Hayden the
necklace Grandma left to Mom. I know we never discussed how everything was going to be divided
up, but…”
Discussed? They never even mentioned it. That old house in Cedar Springs, Virginia, was like a
museum—everything they’d known from their childhood locked up, frozen, and forgotten. Neither of
them had ever had the heart to sell the place. To pick apart and pack away what was left of their
parents.
Nate stared at the floor, hating the crushing pressure in his chest. “It’s yours,” he finally said.
“Mom always loved Hayden. She would have wanted her to have it.”
Silence stretched across the line before Jace cleared his throat. “Yeah. I think so, too. I left all of
the stuff in Mom’s room the way it was, so it should be in her jewelry box. The wooden one with the
blue doves on it.”
“Consider it done.” Just the thought of setting foot in their hometown again made his stomach roil,
but he owed his brother at least this much.
“I know I’m pushing my luck here, but I need one more favor,” Jace said. “I need you to give Lilly a
ride to the wedding.”
Just hearing Lilly’s name caused Nate’s stomach to clench even harder. Memories of strawberry-
flavored lips doused the awful flames in his mind with desire and his cock stirred with interest.
No. He wasn’t going there. Cedar Springs and Lilly? Make that a hell, no. He had enough shit to
deal with at the moment without that particular walk down memory lane. Like finding out a way to
tell his brother he’d been recommissioned…
He glanced over at the official papers taunting him from the dresser across the room. Everything
was done. The date was set. He had two weeks left in civilian life, and then his ass belonged to the
United States Marine Corps again. He could still see the look on his former commander’s face when
he’d told him he wanted back on active duty. Who would have blamed him for thinking Nate was off
his rocker for wanting back in when he had the safety net of his own business and a supportive
family? Not to mention the disability checks they’d started sending him after he’d been med boarded
out. Most men would have moved on, taken the money and started a new life. But Nate couldn’t do it.
Getting those checks in the mail every month was like a slap in the face. Men were in the ground and
he was getting paid to sit on his ass.
“You have a good thing going for you, Nate. Your whole life ahead of you. Why the hell would
you want to take this kind of risk again?”
Because it was time to make things right.
He wasn’t delusional. Search-and-rescue pilots had the shit end of the stick. Nine times out of ten
you were flying into conditions that could go from bad to cluster-fuck in the blink of an eye. None of
that mattered. He needed this chance for redemption. He needed this chance…to escape.
There was nothing for him left here. He was done pretending that he wasn’t completely fucking
ruined inside. He’d led a civilian life best he could. But in the end…he didn’t fit into this world
anymore. He never would. Not until the world he’d left behind stopped haunting him. Not until he
stopped running from the ghosts on his heels.
It was time to go back.
Time he started to sort out the shit tying his head into knots.
He may not be able to bring back the men he lost, but he could, at the very least, go back and do his
part to save the lives of the rest of his brothers who were out there risking their lives every day. And
if he didn’t make it back alive this time, at least the torment would be over. At least he would have
died doing something that would make his father proud.
Being stuck with a woman who did nothing but remind him of everything he couldn’t have…well,
that would do nothing but hinder his progress. He had a plan. And Lilly was a detour he didn’t have
the time or energy for. He’d already said good-bye. Put her out of his head. Buried the undeniable
attraction to her so deep it would never see the light of day.
“I can’t do that,” he finally said.
“I already told her you would.”
“Are you high?” Nate choked out. “Why would you do that?”
“Because her flight got canceled due to the storm. She’s stranded with no way to get here,” Jace
said, and pushed out a breath. “I guess I was foolish enough to think you’d man up and do the right
thing.”
“Trust me. I am doing the right thing,” Nate said. “Neither of us would survive the trip.”
He squeezed his eyes shut trying to quell the pounding inside his skull. He couldn’t deal with this.
Hell, they couldn’t even be in the same room together for five minutes without pissing each other off.
And Jace expected them to take a road trip together?
Worse, seeing Lilly again would lead to wanting her. And wanting her would lead to kissing her,
touching her, ripping her panties off with his damn teeth. Things Nate had no business even dreaming
about when he had a countdown clock to departure hanging over his head.
That was the problem with Lilly. She pushed him, tempted him, challenged him, until he was ready
to break. She had from the first time Hayden brought her into the bar. She’d given him that sultry smile
around the mouth of her beer bottle, called him Soldier Boy, and then spent the next two hours shaking
her perfectly sculpted ass on the dance floor until he was sure his hard-on was going to rip through
his jeans. His intense reaction to her only served to make him angry. To feel out of control. He’d
never had a problem refusing the women who teased and flirted with him across the bar. He’d never
had a problem, because none of them had ever so much as stirred his interest. But not Lilly. She had
managed to awaken something inside him that he didn’t have the right to feel. Men were in the ground
because of him, and all she had to do was run her smart mouth and flaunt her body, and he was ready
to drag her into the back room and slake a lust that hadn’t been quenched in years.
Finally he had. He’d brought her to his apartment and proceeded to have the most mind-blowing
sex he’d ever experienced. Afterward, he’d known he fucked up. He’d known because instead of
wanting to throttle her as he normally did, he’d wanted to hold her. He’d actually wanted her to stay.
And that spelled nothing but trouble.
So, he’d done what he thought was the decent thing. He’d left her cab money on the dresser and
gotten the hell out of Dodge before she could wake up.
Unfortunately, she took the cash to mean something else altogether.
“Look, are you sure she even wants to do this?” he asked. “I really can’t see Lilly agreeing to go
anywhere with me. The last time I saw her she all but threatened to castrate me if I came within
twenty feet of her again.”
“I think you’re being a little dramatic,” Jace drawled.
“Dramatic?” Nate barked out a laugh. “Her exact words were ‘Come near me again and I’ll put
your nuts in a wood chipper.’ It’s going to be kind of hard to keep that kind of distance if she’s sitting
in the cab of my truck.”
“Only because you’ve been a complete dick to her since whatever happened between you two last
year. If you could get over your shit and be civil, be the guy the rest of us know and love, then it
wouldn’t be an issue. She used to actually like you.”
“She doesn’t need to like me.” Which was exactly why he’d had to be a cold bastard to her every
time they’d run into each other since that night. Pushing her away was the only way she’d escape him
unscathed.
That night had been a cold splash of reality to the heat she’d sparked within him. He couldn’t give
her what she wanted. Deep down, even then, he’d known his stay stateside would only be temporary.
It was just a matter of time before the chaos in his head won out. Whatever part of him that might once
have allowed him to love and commit to a woman…that fragile part of him had been seared away
with the layers of his skin when that helicopter had crashed. Walking away from her had been his best
—his only—move. She may have been hurt, but it was better than letting her be destroyed later.
“You’re my best man,” Jace said. “Which means making my bride happy is your responsibility as
much as it is mine. This falls into your line of duty.”
Nate snorted. “That’s funny. I thought all I had to do was show up and look better than you in a tux.
”
“Joke all you want, but when I’m the one kissing the pretty girl in white, you might want to
reevaluate who the more alluring brother is.”
“Right. It only took you, what, fifteen years to close that deal?” He smiled, picturing the irritated
look scrunching up his little brother’s face. Despite all the ink on his skin and the cash in his bank
account, Jace would always be a kid to Nate. The same kid he’d taught to throw a curveball. The
same kid he used to find asleep on his bedroom floor in the middle of the night for months after their
father died.
The same kid he’d left alone when he’d needed him the most…
Nate brushed off the memory, laden with guilt, when he heard Hayden’s voice in the background.
Half Pint didn’t get upset too often, but by her tone, she sounded primed and pissed now. Something
covered the phone, muffling their voices, and Nate rolled his eyes. He would have been annoyed by
his brother’s pussy-whipped behavior if it hadn’t been like this ever since they were in middle
school. Jace had been trailing after Hayden since they were kids. It wasn’t until last year that his
brother had pulled his head out of his ass and realized he was in love with the girl he’d called his
best friend since before puberty.
“What did you do to piss Hayden off this time?” Nate grabbed his well-worn duffel with the USMC
logo and tossed it on the bed. “Leave the toilet seat up? Forget to use a coaster? Leave the throw
pillows on the wrong side of the couch?”
Jace uncovered the phone and sighed. “She’s not pissed at me. She’s pissed at you.”
Nate halted his packing and raised a brow. “What the hell for?”
“Oh, nothing,” Jace said. “You were just supposed to pick up Lilly. Two hours ago.”
Chapter Three
When Lilly spotted Nate’s truck screeching into the parking lot, two hours late, a fresh wave of anger
shattered her momentary relief. If it hadn’t been for the fact that she was wearing her favorite pair of
s she’d scored off eBay, she would have walked her ass home, torrential
downpour or not. Some things in life you just didn’t risk, and Louboutins, imitation or not, topped that
list.
She should have swallowed her pride and called Paige back to pick her up, but the truth was, she
was humiliated. Sitting in a public café waiting on some arrogant, unreliable prick to save the day
was something her mother would have done. Following in her mother’s footsteps went against
everything Lilly had worked so hard to become. Everything she’d spent the past eleven years trying to
escape. If she hadn’t exhausted every other option, no way would she have lowered herself to Nate’s
level. But as much as she hated to admit it, Hayden was right. This wasn’t only the most logical
option, it was her only option if she wanted to get to the wedding.
The door dinged and, clenching her jaw, Lilly looked up to find Nate brushing rain off his black
leather jacket. Six foot three of Marine-made muscle filled the entry door, looking like the shiny new
toy most mothers warned their daughters not to touch. And Lilly wasn’t the only one to notice. She
ground her teeth in annoyance as half the women in the café stopped talking to stare. The only one
who didn’t seem to notice was Nate.
The last time she’d seen him, his hair had been buzzed military-style, so close she could’ve traced
the exact path of the long white scar on his scalp. But now his hair had grown just long enough to
mask the evidence of the hell he’d survived overseas. His electric-blue eyes looked up, doing a quick
scan over the room, only taking two seconds to find her.
At least the bastard had the decency to look guilty. Not that it helped the violent urge she had to
pick up the nearest blunt object and pound him with it. He started across the crowded space, and
Lilly’s grip nearly crushed the to-go cup that held her Frappuccino. She couldn’t help but wonder if
he was taking his sweet time on purpose, or if his snail-like pace was just a product of her
imagination and the five cups of coffee she’d consumed waiting on him.
At last he ambled up and braced his hands on the back of the chair across from her. “Hey. Need a
ride, Princess?”
She tensed at the mention of the nickname he’d saddled her with the day they met. He’d taken one
look at her polished exterior and assumed she was just some spoiled brat who’d never experienced a
hard day’s work for fear of breaking a nail. If only he knew how far he was from the truth. She’d done
everything from work as a professional pooper scooper in an animal shelter to sweeping floors in an
auto body shop just to survive after her mother had died. Lilly was as far from a princess as you
could get. Unless you counted Cinderella and her floor-scrubbing days…
“Well, look who finally decided to show up.” Lilly stood, smoothing her dress over her thighs.
“Sergeant Unreliable is alive and kicking, after all. And here I was hoping you’d fallen down a well
or something.”
“You know, Lil, when I think about fifteen hours of you busting my balls,” Nate said, “I gotta say,
the well sounds tempting.”
Lilly took a deep breath and plastered on a fake smile. “You can rest easy, Nate. I have absolutely
no interest in your balls. Just your truck.”
Ignoring the dangerous glint in his eyes, she turned and bent over at the waist to grab her suitcase,
knowing exactly what he would see. She felt immensely gratified when she heard the choked sound
behind her. Her lips twitched with a satisfied smile as she slowly stood, deliberately giving him a
good look at the body he’d never have the pleasure of touching again. When she turned around,
luggage in hand, his eyes blazed, still lingering on the hem of her dress.
“Enjoying the view?” She raised a brow.
He lifted his gaze unapologetically, and anger lined the hard edge of his clenched jaw. “The view is
a little hard to miss in that dress, Princess. I wasn’t aware Kleenex had come out with a women’s
fashion line.”
Lilly inhaled, silently counted to ten, and gave him a tight-lipped smile. “As much as I’ve missed
your uncanny talent to insult me, I’d really like to get on the road, if it’s all the same to you. The
sooner we get started, the sooner we can part ways and never see each other again.”
“For once we can actually agree on something,” he muttered.
She turned her back on him before she did something extreme. Like pour her Frappuccino over his
head. He followed, reaching out to grab the handle of her suitcase. She tightened her grip, refusing to
let go.
“Come on, Lil.” He held the door open for her as she struggled through to the parking lot, hands
full. “I’m not a total dick. Let me take your bag.”
“First of all, yes, you are.” She stopped and turned to face him. “And second, the only way you’re
getting my bag is if I shove it up—”
His hard chest collided with hers and her coffee cup exploded between them. She screamed and
jumped back, allowing him to take the brunt of the Frappuccino eruption.
He looked up, eyes wide, and held his dripping hands out to his sides. “What the hell?”
“Seriously?” She shook her fingers, splattering him with more of the sticky-sweet excuse for
coffee, and scowled at him. “Weren’t you in the army? Didn’t they teach you grunts to look forward
when walking?”
Tension stiffened his big frame and a muscle in his jaw ticked. “Marines.”
“Yeah, well the Marines must have skipped the watching-where-you-walk chapter along with the
lesson on punctuality. Or maybe you just bailed that day. You seem to be good at that.”
Anger flashed in his eyes like a storm warning. He took a slow step forward, and without thinking,
she took a step back on the asphalt and into the rain, cringing when her heels landed in a puddle.
Damn it. Less than ten minutes in his presence and already he had her tripping all over herself. It
wasn’t supposed to be like this. She was supposed to be teaching him a lesson. She needed to take
control of this situation, and fast.
A few more steps and her back hit the side of a truck. His, thankfully. He stopped in front of her and
stripped off his coffee-soaked shirt, tossing it in the bed of the truck without taking his eyes off her.
She froze, the sight of his chiseled bare chest enough to make her brain short-circuit. What in God’s
name was he doing, stripping in a parking lot? If Paige could see this, her panties would be melting
all the way over on Fifth Avenue.
“W-what are you doing?” Who the hell did he think he was? Matthew McConaughey?
Nate braced his hands on the truck roof above her and leaned in, his jaw tight, his gaze intense.
“Setting some ground rules.”
Heart racing, she tilted her head back to look up at the man towering over her, blinking away the
light rain falling from the sky. This close, she could see every speck of gray in his cobalt eyes. His
gaze darted down to her mouth and heat sparked low in her belly, igniting the need to give in to the
white-hot connection burning between them. She didn’t know what she wanted more. To douse that
connection with ice water and extinguish it forever, or keep it burning bright just to torture him for
pretending it didn’t exist.
Being this close to him felt too familiar. Too intimate. Too…good. She swallowed, knowing she
should tell him to back the hell off, but she couldn’t seem to find her voice through the tangle of
emotions clogging her throat.
Her gaze dropped to the dog tags dangling on his chest and a flash of her gripping the chain as he
dragged her in for a hot, wet kiss flashed across her mind. She wriggled against the truck, wanting,
no, needing to put some space between them. His heat, his fresh-from-the-shower masculine scent, it
was all over her, making her stomach tighten with want.
Wait…want? No. She did not want Nate Jennings.
What she wanted was to give him a swift kick in the family jewels to get him to back the hell off.
“Does this rule-setting require you to be shirtless?” she said in an unsteady voice.
“What’s the matter, Princess?” Nate smirked. “Afraid you can’t control yourself around me?”
“If you’re referring to my burning desire to physically harm you, then yes. That is something I’m
concerned about.”
His gaze drifted over her dress, which was slowly but surely going nearly transparent from the rain.
“First rule. No more smart-ass commentary. I was late. I apologize. I want to get to Vermont with my
sanity intact. That’s not going to happen if I have to listen to you run your mouth for fifteen hours.”
She shrugged. “I make no promises.”
His nostrils flared and she could hear his hands ball into fists against the truck. “Fine. But know
that every time that pretty little mouth pisses me off, I’m going to retaliate.”
She raised a brow. “I might actually feel threatened if I thought you’d keep your word,” she said.
“But I think we both know how good you are at that.”
“I think I might be motivated enough to follow through this time.”
“Oh yeah? And what exactly do you plan to do? Spank me?”
His smirk curled. “As tempting as that sounds…” He leaned in close enough to share the air
touching her lips. “I’ll do the one thing I know terrifies you the most.”
She lifted her chin a fraction, refusing to be intimidated. “And what is that?”
“I’ll kiss you.”
Her lips parted without permission and she sucked in a breath. “You wouldn’t.”
“Princess, I’d do just about anything to shut you up.” His voice lowered, the sound sending
delicious vibrations down her spine. “If memory serves correctly, the last time I shut you up, you
liked it.”
“I was faking it,” she snapped.
Fire lit behind his eyes and he pressed her into the side of the truck, his gaze raking over her
suddenly trembling body. “Well, since you hated it so much, it should be decent motivation for you to
keep quiet.”
Her pulse kicked up a notch as she tilted her head back to look him in the eye. This was the first
time they’d been this close in a year. Hell, this was the first time they’d been alone without Hayden,
Jace, or a bar full of people to create a buffer between them. She straightened her spine, refusing to
let the arrogant bastard know how much he affected her.
His palm pressed into the truck door above her and he closed his eyes as if he were fighting for
control.
“Are you sure you want to do this, Lil?” he whispered.
“Do what?”
“Take this ride. With me.”
He opened his eyes and the deep timbre of his voice sent a shock wave of unwanted heat through
her. Anger burned right behind the desire, determined to snuff it out.
“Trust me, if I had another option, I’d take it,” she said.
“You remember what happened last time you got into my truck, don’t you?” he said. “Do you really
want to risk that happening again?”
He dropped one hand to wipe a tiny smear of whipped cream from her collarbone that the rain
hadn’t managed to wash away. Her body’s reaction to that simple touch was unreal. An ache bloomed
between her thighs, and her nipples strained against the thin lace cups of her bra.
No. Her body was not reacting this strongly because of him. If it was, what did that say about her?
She could barely stand to hear his freaking name. She blamed it on her sexual drought. She hadn’t
been with a man in a really long time. That was all. Her body was just starved for any kind of
attention. By this point, a bum could probably have elicited this same reaction.
She swallowed the lie and sucked in a breath. “You know, I don’t remember that,” she said. “Must
have been too underwhelming to leave an impression.”
His eyes narrowed and one of his fingers lifted a lock of her hair. “I don’t remember you
complaining. If anything, I remember you begging for it.”
Her spine stiffened. With all the back-and-forth sniping between them over the past year, neither of
them had ever mentioned that night. And now a year later, he was using it against her?
“You didn’t stick around long enough to hear the complaints,” she gritted out. “Maybe next time you
decide to do a fuck-and-dash, you should leave a comment box next to your bed instead of a wad of
cash. I have a feeling the feedback would be helpful to an inconsiderate tool like you.”
She gave his chest a firm shove, pushing him back a few steps, then pulled the truck door open,
climbed in, and shut it in his face, before he could retaliate.
She rolled the window down a smidge. Just enough to get a good look at the dangerous glint in his
eyes and the erection filling out his jeans.
“So. Are you going to stand out there all day, or are you going to get this rig on the road?” She
flashed him a satisfied smile. “Clock’s ticking and Vermont’s waiting, Soldier Boy.”
Chapter Four
Beyond the driver’s-side window, the cluttered city had disappeared, giving way to long stretches of
wheat and tobacco fields. If Nate had been alone, he’d have taken the time to appreciate just how
beautiful the state he’d called home for the past two years was. But focusing on anything other than the
woman torturing him from the other side of the cab was damn near impossible. Only a half hour
outside Charlotte, and Nate was already going crazy. Without Lilly even uttering one damn word.
Unfortunately, she had other weapons at her disposal…and she was using them. Any second now,
his head was going to explode. Or possibly, other parts of his anatomy.
She’d ditched the high heels and now her bare feet were propped up on his freshly Armor All-
waxed dash, her perfectly manicured pink toes tapping out the rhythm to a silent tune. The hem of her
dress seemed to slide another inch up her thigh every time the truck rolled over a fucking pebble in
the road.
If only he could find a speed bump to fly over or a curb to check. Maybe then he’d finally get to see
what color her panties were, and his cock would stop punishing him for wondering.
Half an hour in the car and he could already smell her on his clothes, bringing back memories that
needed to stay buried if he wanted to have a chance in hell of keeping his dick in his pants on this trip.
He pushed his Ray-Bans up his nose and forced his attention back to the road.
He’d meant what he’d said. If she kept giving him shit, kept teasing him, he would retaliate with
that kiss. His dick was literally begging for her to smart off, just to give him an excuse to taste her.
Would she taste the same? God, he hoped so. Her taste had ruined him. He still couldn’t eat a
strawberry without sporting a damn hard-on. She might push him past his breaking point and irritate
the hell out of him, but damned if he could fight back against the desire she sparked in him.
He needed to fight it, though. He really fucking needed to, if he knew what was good for him…and
for her. He had too many battles to fight in his life, and this was one he didn’t have the energy for. Or
the will. Even now, the darkness and anger inside him were beating on his skull, demanding he allow
his emotions to implode. They were always there—reminding him of the people he’d failed. And the
mistakes he’d made.
Hale. Clemmons. Keller. Puckett. Rivera. Hanson. Lopez.
Nate gritted his teeth and rubbed his dog tags between his fingers, trying to focus on the road and
not the ghosts fighting for space in his head.
But it was no use. As the only survivor of that hellish day, as the one who had brought that helo
down, he owed it to the dead. What he wanted didn’t matter. They mattered—the men who had
counted on him to save their lives. The men he’d failed. And making their deaths mean something by
going back to continue what they no longer could. That mattered.
Getting caught in the tangle of emotions that Lilly stirred up would only distract him from his
mission. Would only make him want something he couldn’t have. And put even more strain on the thin
line of self-control he teetered on day to day.
He couldn’t go there with her. Which meant it was time to banish the ongoing film reel of fantasies
in his head starring him, Lilly, and a year’s worth of sexual tension set free.
“Could you get your feet off of the dash?” He scrubbed his fingers through his hair with his free
hand, forcing patience into his voice. “I just waxed it.”
“What a coincidence,” she innocently mused. “I just waxed, too.”
Kill me. Kill me now.
He clenched his jaw so tight it popped. He forced a mental block to beat back the images of
smooth, pink skin hidden under her barely there panties. But his dick wasn’t taking no for an answer.
It rose to attention, making him shift in his seat.
“Are you going to take your feet down or not?” he snapped.
“I’m quite comfortable like this. But thanks for your concern.”
She leaned over and flipped the radio on, severing the tense silence between them. She scanned the
presets, then went rogue and landed on a pop station. She sank back into her seat with a smirk on her
face and Nate cringed, losing his train of thought in the barrage of shitty music rattling his dash. Was
that…Britney Spears?
Oh, hell no.
“I don’t think so.” He punched a preset and the twang of good country music filled the cab. He
preferred silence, but anything was better than the teenybopper crap Lilly was trying to force on him.
“Hey! I was listening to that.” She switched the station again and cranked up the volume.
The pain throbbing behind his temple flared back to life and he gritted his teeth. Why the hell
couldn’t anything with this woman be easy? Was she deliberately trying to make his life hell? As if
he needed anyone to help him with that. He managed to find himself there every night all on his own.
He looked over at the smart-mouthed temptress taking up the other half of his bench seat. Of course
she was. She wouldn’t be Lilly if she wasn’t being a colossal pain in his ass.
“My truck. My music.” He punched the preset again, reviving George Strait’s voice, and Lilly made
a frustrated sound. When she reached out again he grabbed her wrist before her fingers could reach
the button.
Immediately, he regretted the decision. After all her teasing, that little bit of skin-on-skin contact
was all it took to send a hot shiver of desire down his spine, lighting a fire under his cock so hot, he
didn’t think he could ever snuff it out.
“What are you going to do?” She smirked. “Retaliate?”
He could think of a hundred ways he’d like to retaliate for all of the torture she’d unleashed on him
over the past year. Shaking her earth-shattering ass in those tiny dresses at the club while he was
forced to stand behind the bar and watch. Twisting him up inside with her smart mouth until he didn’t
know the difference between anger and lust. He released her wrist, ignoring the heat in her eyes, and
returned his attention to where it belonged.
The road.
“You’d like that, wouldn’t you,” he said like it wasn’t a question.
“Fine,” she shot back. “Listen to your honky-tonk torture. But if my ears start bleeding, I’m blaming
you.”
“Can’t be any worse than the sound of your voice, Princess, and you live with that every day.”
“Asshole,” she muttered, dropping her feet back into the floorboard and folding her arms across her
chest.
He frowned over at her. “Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?”
Lilly stiffened and stared out the window. “My mother’s dead.”
Ah, hell. Nate flickered his gaze across the seat, wishing he could take the words back and make
her forget he’d said them.
He knew what it was like to lose a parent. Hell, he’d lost both of his. That shit wasn’t something to
be taken lightly. He and Lilly may take jabs at each other for a lot of things, but even he knew he’d
crossed a line. The haunted look in her eyes told him he’d just dredged up a memory that cut deep.
Maybe they were more alike than he wanted to admit…
“I’m sorry,” he said. “That was a shitty thing to say.”
Her expression turned surprised a second before she answered. “Whatever. You didn’t know.”
He tapped his fingers against the wheel, knowing damn good and well the last thing he should do
was dig deeper. Deeper with Lilly wasn’t going to lead to anything good. They were good at pissing
each other off, right up to the point of wanting to tear each other’s clothes off. And they were experts
at avoiding anything below the surface. They weren’t good at…deeper.
He stole another glance in her direction and caught the sadness in her reflection in the window. The
sorrow in her eyes made him feel as though someone had punched him square in the chest. If she knew
he’d seen that, she would hate it. She would hate him for getting even a tiny glimpse of the
vulnerability she always kept locked up tight.
Before he could stop himself, he found himself asking, “How did she die?”
“She slit her wrists in our bathtub when I was fifteen,” Lilly said matter-of-factly. “How did your
mom die?”
He swallowed the thick sensation coating his throat. “Cancer.”
Saying it out loud like that tore down the dam holding back the sea of guilt and grief inside him.
Lilly’s mother may have given up, but not Maggie Jennings. She’d fought, and fought hard.
And what had he done? He’d run away. Put an ocean between himself and her life-and-death
struggle. It had been too easy to forget that the woman he’d loved more than life was withering away
when he was flying loads of bloodied, destroyed soldiers to safety every day. He’d almost been able
to justify not being there to help Jace take care of her.
Almost.
Until the day he couldn’t even do that right. After the helicopter crash, and leaving his dead men
behind, suddenly none of it felt worth it. He’d sacrificed his chance at saying good-bye to his mother,
his chance to take care of her, all for nothing. Worse than nothing.
He swallowed hard and let the chain of his dog tags slide through his fingers, rubbing the thin
slivers of metal between his fingers to ground himself.
“Still feel like sharing?” Lilly asked, watching him guardedly from across the seat.
“No.”
After a brief hesitation, she said, “Good,” then closed her eyes and rested her head against the seat
back. “Neither do I.”
Chapter Five
Lilly watched the odometer turn over another mile. Virginia seemed to be a never-ending state. A
never-ending state filled with windy roads, nightmarish tunnels, and scarily spectacular views. She
tensed and squeezed her eyes shut as Nate rounded a curve and the road dropped off into nothing on
the passenger side. Beautiful? Yes. Terrifying for someone afraid of heights? Double yes.
Just a few more hours, and they’d be back on level ground where they belonged. She checked the
map on her phone just to make sure. Yes. Flat land was where this girl belonged.
The fact that she’d desperately had to pee for at least thirty miles wasn’t helping matters. Her
bladder screamed at her to open her stubborn mouth.
She peeked at the clock on the dash. Already past two. They’d left North Carolina and made the
turn onto I-81 ages ago. How long did Nate plan to drive before stopping for a bathroom break?
She’d watched the man consume two bottles of water and a full cup of coffee. Surely his body had
needs.
She wiggled in her seat and peeked over at him. He’d been even more tense and on edge than usual
since she’d shut down their little heart-to-heart. So they both had dead mothers. It wasn’t as if they
needed to bond over it. She’d already experienced firsthand what happened when you opened up to
Nate Jennings, and she didn’t intend to make the same mistake twice. Trusting him would be asking
for heartache.
“I have to pee,” she finally said when her bladder reached the point of no return and she spotted an
exit up ahead.
“You just went a couple of hours ago,” he said.
“What are you, the pee police?” she retorted. “I wasn’t aware you were keeping a chart of my
bladder function. Are you tracking my fluid intake as well?”
His knuckles blanched white around the steering wheel and he blew out a frustrated breath, flipping
on his blinker at the next exit. “This is why I travel alone,” he muttered.
She rolled her eyes. “Please. You travel alone because no one is desperate enough to sit in a
confined space with your surly ass for an extended period of time.”
“Nobody but you, right, Princess?” He whipped into a truck stop before she could respond—or
object—and threw the truck into park at a gas pump. He looked at her expectantly as she took in her
surroundings.
“You have got to be kidding me.” She watched a trucker in a flannel lumberjack shirt walk past her
window carrying a ginormous soda cup. This was not one of the usual neat and clean freeway rest
stops. This was a grungy and oily off-brand service station attached to a questionable diner with
yellowing windows that hadn’t been washed in decades, on a no-name exit in the middle of nowhere.
They hadn’t even opened the truck doors yet and the cab was already inundated with the disgusting
aroma of diesel fumes and fryer grease. Crinkling her nose, she held a hand over her nose to block the
stench. There was no telling what kinds of poor defenseless animals were being slaughtered and fried
in that place. Visions of Deliverance danced through her mind.
Nate unbuckled his seat belt and raised a brow. “You said you needed to use the bathroom. I
provided you one.”
“I said I wanted a bathroom, not a place where I have to wear a biohazard suit just to touch a door
handle,” she said, eyes wide with horror.
He popped his door open and climbed out, stretching his arms above his head. A sliver of tanned,
scarred skin peeked out where his shirt rode up, and she averted her gaze.
“You’ll survive,” he said, dropping his hands to his sides.
He slammed the door shut, and Lilly watched his perfect backside, encased in snug denim, waltz
into the truck stop.
Damn that ass. No. Damn her and her weak willpower for being unable to stop salivating over it.
She whacked the visor back into place and groaned. She had to stop letting him get to her. She was
allowing him to win. That wasn’t an option.
She hopped out onto the parking lot and hurried into the store, ignoring the leering looks from a
couple of creeps she passed on the way. Sweet Jesus. If possible, the smell was even worse inside.
She hurried to the counter and wanted to weep at the menu hanging from the ceiling. Frog legs.
Double bacon cheeseburger. Shredded pork sliders . Her stomach rolled and she clutched her
abdomen, trying not to envision Babe being fried up and served on a paper plate. She loved living in
the South, but some things a vegetarian just never got used to.
“Can I help you, darlin’?”
She turned to the cashier, who had a gravelly smoker’s voice and a name tag that read D
ORIS
. “Yes,
where is your restroom, please?”
Doris dug for something under the counter and came back up holding a key…with a dingy, chipped,
toilet seat attached to it with a chain.
“What is that?”
“The key.” Doris dropped the toilet seat–key combo onto the counter and sighed. “Bathroom’s
outside, around the side of the building.”
Lilly stared at the toilet seat in disgust. “Can you take the toilet seat off?”
“It’s a safety measure,” Doris said evenly. “Take it or leave it.”
“Do I look like someone who would steal your disgusting bathroom key?”
The cashier shrugged, and Nate reached over Lilly’s shoulder, grabbing the key. “She’ll take it.
Thanks.”
Lilly spun around, nearly colliding with his broad chest, and glared up at him. He dangled the key
in front of her and scowled.
She snatched it out of his hand and scowled right back. “I was handling it.”
“You were being a prissy brat,” he reprimanded her. “Haven’t you ever been in a truck stop?”
She stepped out of the line of people who were starting to stare at them. “No.”
He followed her out the door into the misting rain. “How is that possible?”
“I’ve never traveled,” she said. “Didn’t do a lot of family road trips when I was a kid.”
She rounded the corner of the dilapidated building and groaned when she spotted the bathroom.
Was he really going to follow her all the way to the door? She turned on him and he stopped, a
curious expression on his face.
“You’re telling me you’ve never been out of the state of North Carolina before?” he asked. “Not
even once?”
“Not even once, Soldier Boy.”
He slammed his hand against the door to keep her from shutting it, and his nostrils flared.
“Isn’t there anything else you could call me other than that stupid, fucking nickname?”
She reached up and patted his cheek when he scowled. “Oh, honey. You really don’t want to hear
the other names I have for you.”
She removed his hand, then slammed the bathroom door in his face and turned to catalog the tiny
room. Questionable-looking toilet, broken mirror, out-of-order condom machine, and an empty paper
towel holder. Dear God. It was even worse than she’d expected. She inspected the menagerie of
phone numbers and perverse messages scrawled across the walls and an idea began to form.
If Nate wanted to play dirty, she was game. This was war, after all. She dug a pen out of her purse
and scrawled Nate’s number across the wall under her carefully composed ad.
B
URLY
TRUCKERS
LOOKING
FOR
A
FINE
PIECE
OF
MAN
MEAT
AND
A
GOOD
TIME
CALL
N
ATE
.
Satisfied with her handiwork, she conducted the rest of her business and escaped the bathroom as
quickly as possible. She went back inside the diner and tossed the key onto the counter.
“See? The toilet seat worked,” Doris drawled. “You didn’t steal it.”
“It was tempting,” Lilly deadpanned. “Thanks.”
She hurried back to the truck and climbed into the euphoric scent of sun-warmed leather and Nate.
He raised a brow, watching her slather her hands with antibacterial gel from her purse, then took a
bite of the hot dog dripping ketchup all over his hand. He pulled away from the gas pumps one-
handed, and found a parking spot that overlooked the freeway to finish his meal.
“You hungry?” he asked.
She cringed at the smell of the mystery meat on a bun. “I can’t eat that.”
He set a paper bag in her lap and took another bite. “Which is why I got you that.”
She dug through the bag and pulled out a plastic fruit cup, a packaged salad, and a bottle of water.
She looked up at him, surprised. “How did you know I was a vegetarian?”
“Jace’s Super Bowl party last year,” he said.
She blinked. “You remember that?”
He uncapped his bottle of water. “You brought your own hummus dip and called the pigs in a
blanket barbaric. Kind of hard to forget.”
She managed a smile and popped open her salad, which looked surprisingly fresh for coming out of
a place where you could purchase gasoline and a Duck Dynasty T-shirt with your meal. “You’re
obviously a meat man.”
“Yes. I eat meat. I’ve even been known to dream about a good steak. Are you disgusted?”
“No. Not disgusted,” she admitted. “I know my culinary preference is not for everyone.”
“And why is it for you?”
She thought back to her childhood and the countless hurt and homeless animals she and her brother
had carted home. How many times had a little ball of fur been the only comfort they’d had in their
screwed-up world of dysfunctional love? That was the thing with animals. Their love was pure and
unconditional.
Unfortunately, some of the humans in her life still didn’t have that one figured out quite yet. She
poked at her salad. Make that most of the humans in her life.
She avoided Nate’s probing gaze. “I’ve always loved animals. I just can’t bring myself to eat
something with a face, even if it is the logical thing to do,” she admitted, giving her full attention to
the cherry tomato she’d speared with her fork. Tomatoes were far easier than memories. “My brother,
Sawyer, and I used to adopt all the strays in the neighborhood. Dogs, cats, raccoons. We even brought
a skunk home one time, thinking if we gave it a bath it wouldn’t stink so badly.”
Nate choked on his drink, but he was grinning. “Why in God’s name would you do that?”
She shrugged. “Poor thing looked so lonely sitting on the side of the road all by himself.” Her lips
tugged up at the memory. “I had a hard time talking Sawyer into that one, but by that time we were
nine, and I had him all figured out. All I had to do was cry, and he’d knock down walls to makes the
tears stop. It also helped that we were twins. We usually stuck together. If one of us got into trouble,
the other usually wasn’t far behind.”
Nate regarded her, a dozen indecipherable emotions warring on his face. In the end, amusement
won out. “So what happened next? I can’t imagine this story has a boring ending.”
She laughed, thinking Sawyer would not find this story half as funny as she did. She could picture
the pissed-off scowl on his face even now as he’d walked out of that emergency room. “Well, as soon
as we got it into the tub and turned on the water, it bit Sawyer and sprayed us both. He had to get
rabies shots, and we both had to take baths in every concoction known to man. It took weeks to get
that smell out of our house.”
Nate shook his head, laughing out loud with her. “Your brother sounds like he loves you a lot.”
“I think it took him a while to remember just how much, after getting seventeen rabies shots because
of me.”
“What about your parents?” Nate asked.
Clearly, the man was unaware of the dangerous waters he was treading in.
When she didn’t respond, he said, “I can’t even imagine the forms of punishment my mom would
have come up with for a stunt like that. Hell, she made Jace and me mow every lawn in the
neighborhood for a month just for busting a window with a baseball.”
Lilly swallowed the sudden lump in her throat, wondering what it would have been like to have a
parent who cared about you that much. Her heart hurt so badly in that moment she wished she could
cut it out. Life would be so much easier without the pain such a small but vital organ caused.
“My mother wasn’t around much.” She pressed her lips together, instantly wishing she hadn’t said
it. She didn’t want to let Nate in, and yet she felt even in what had started out as an innocent
conversation, he was unintentionally worming his way under her skin.
“Are you okay?” He touched her hand across the seat and heat sizzled over her skin where his
fingers made contact, causing her breath to catch.
She nodded and pulled away. “I’m fine. Sorry. Just…ignore me.”
He refused to look away no matter how hard she willed him to; the intensity in his eyes was hot
enough to burn her. “Not possible.”
“You haven’t had a problem ignoring me for the past year,” she blurted out before she could stop
herself. She bit the inside of her cheek to keep her mouth shut and looked away from the pissed-off
man behind the wheel. For a moment, she thought he might actually drop the subject, but instead he
leaned across the seat to invade her space with his heat and his smell and…oh, God.
“I wasn’t ignoring you to hurt you, Lilly,” he said, his voice low and gruff. “You didn’t…you don’t
want me in your life. Trust me. I did you a favor by walking away when I did. I’m not a good guy. I’m
not the guy you need.”
She swallowed, remembering what Nate had tasted like the last time they’d kissed. Lemons and
mint. Even a year later the taste of him lingered on her tongue.
He held her gaze and inhaled sharply. His fingers brushed her hand resting next to her thigh. A jolt
passed through her at that one tender touch of skin on skin. That, and the heated look in his eyes, made
her want to run like hell.
Or maybe meet him halfway and crush her lips against his…
Would he still taste the same?
His phone buzzed, breaking the spell, and he leaned back to grab it. His brow furrowed as he read
the text message. “Who the hell is Earl and why is he responding to my offer on the bathroom wall of
the Flying Pig Truck Stop?”
It took a second for the implication to sink in.
Oh. Shit.
He glanced up at her, and she nearly choked on the tomato she’d just popped into her mouth. He
narrowed his eyes and held up the phone. “Really?”
She whipped on her most innocent expression. “What?”
He clenched his jaw, dropped his phone back into the cupholder, and pushed open his door. Oh,
God. She’d pushed him too far. Damn that horny trucker! She thought there’d be at least a day before
someone responded. Long enough for her to be laughing far away from him and his retaliation. He
pinned her with a don’t-even-think-about-running-Princess look through the windshield as he
rounded the front of the truck, and apprehension had her cringing back into her seat. She considered
locking her door, but he jerked it open before she got the chance.
“W-what are you doing?” she asked.
He grabbed her knees, and in one smooth move, turned her so that he was wedged between her
legs. “Retaliating.”
“Wait a min—”
He kissed her, muffling the rest of her sentence…and oh, God, she was in trouble.
The kiss started hard and punishing, almost as if he were tying to keep himself detached, but it
wasn’t long before the heat caught up with them both. Her lips parted of their own accord, and the
taste of him flooded her mouth. He didn’t taste the same. He tasted…better. Addictive.
A surge of lust drowned out all rational thinking and she found herself kissing him back, flicking
her tongue to meet his. He groaned and cupped her jaw, tilting her head, deepening the kiss. His body
leaned into hers as if drawn in by magnets. She felt her body respond, arching, searching for contact.
A small, irritating part of her mind whispered that this was the part where she should push him
away. Tell him to go screw himself. But what was supposed to be a retaliation was escalating into
something hot and uncontrollable, like wildfire burning out of control. When he pulled her bottom lip
between his teeth, she whimpered and grabbed on to his shoulders to keep from melting into him.
That seemed to snap him out of it. He broke all contact, breathing hard, looking like he was fighting
for control as much as she was.
Oh my God.
What had she just done? How the hell had she let herself get that caught up in the moment? With
him?
She reached up and touched her swollen lips, too shocked to find any words. His gaze dropped
back to her mouth and he shook his head once, as if forcing himself out of a daze. He cursed under his
breath and raked his fingers through his damp hair, then made his way back around to the driver’s
side, where he climbed in and slammed the door shut. He started the ignition without looking at her.
“For the record. Every text I get after this, I’m giving them your fucking number.”
Chapter Six
So much for getting ahead of the storm.
Nate flipped the windshield wipers to high and watched a bleary Virginia pass by outside the rain-
streaked window. The drizzle they’d been driving through had turned into an all-out downpour now
that they were closer to the coast. A gust of wind caught the side of the truck and he tightened his hold
on the wheel to keep it steady. At least traffic was almost nonexistent. Most people weren’t stupid
enough to be traveling during one of the strongest tropical storms the east coast had seen in years. He
checked the light outside, already dimmed from the storm. If he had to guess, they only had a few
hours of daylight left at best. Then he’d be knee-deep into Tropical Storm Cindy with only the few
feet of visibility his headlights would give him.
Oo-fuckin-rah.
As if he needed the added stress. He’d fucked up. Bad. Losing control like that and kissing Lilly
had been a colossal mistake. Because now he couldn’t get her taste out of his mouth. Couldn’t get that
sexy fucking half whimper, half moan out of his head. It had taken everything in him to pull away. And
now it was taking even more not to pull the truck over and finish what he’d started. That shit was the
last thing he needed to be thinking about. He should be preparing for what he was about to walk into
—a hornet’s nest of memories that were going to rip him wide open.
He grabbed his coffee and took a scorching swig, trying to burn away her taste.
“You just passed the exit we needed to take.” Lilly looked up from the map on her phone and turned
in her seat to peer out at a big green highway sign.
Nate blinked as the sign flew past, then checked the GPS. “No, I didn’t.”
“Yes. You did,” she insisted. “I mapped out the fastest route before we left.”
He jerked his gaze back to the road and blew out a breath that did nothing to help the tension
coiling in his shoulders. The woman was making him nuts. “We’re taking a detour, so no need to play
navigator. Believe it or not, I know what I’m doing.”
“Detour?” She sat up, panic flashing behind her wide eyes. “Hayden didn’t say anything about a
detour.”
“Maybe that’s because I don’t give Hayden a play-by-play of my schedule before I plan my day.”
Especially since it was a surprise.
The sign for exit 209 to Cedar Springs came into view and a sick feeling brewed in Nate’s gut. It
had been nine years since he’d allowed himself to take this exit. Nine years of running from a
lifetime’s worth of mistakes. His instincts told him to blow past the off-ramp as if his life depended
on it, but he knew in his heart that wasn’t an option. His brother was counting on him to pick up their
grandmother’s necklace. God knew how many times Nate had already disappointed Jace in this
lifetime, and he refused to do it again.
“What kind of detour?” Lilly sounded worried. “How long will it take?”
“Not long.” Not if he could help it. He didn’t intend to spend a second longer in Cedar Springs than
he had to. There were way too many ghosts lurking around every corner. He’d grab the necklace and
get the hell out of Dodge. They’d be back on the interstate within the hour.
Flicking on his blinker, he veered to the right to take the exit.
“Watch out!”
He jerked the wheel to take a hard right, frantically looking over his shoulder for the source of
Lilly’s meltdown. Judging by the ear-piercing pitch of her scream, anyone would have assumed he’d
nearly run down a bus full of kindergartners. Tires skidded as he fought to get control of the
fishtailing truck. Lilly yelped. Something sizzling hot and wet spilled down the side of his leg.
He cursed as they swung onto the exit. “Son of a bitch!”
He grabbed at his jeans to pull the scalding wet fabric away from his skin. God damn it! He’d
known stopping for that coffee was going to bite him in the ass. Now he had a hangover, no coffee,
and third-degree burns.
“What the hell are you doing?” Lilly pushed her hair back from her face and clutched her chest as
he straightened the truck on the road.
“You screamed to watch out! You made me think I was going to hit somebody!”
“I said to watch out. I didn’t say to roll the freaking truck.” She huffed. “Are you trying to get us
killed?”
He stepped on the brake but the pedal didn’t budge. “No. But keep talking, and I might reconsider.”
“You need to slow down. The speed limit dropped to thirty-five back there.”
“That would be a great plan”—he reached down under his legs and the truck nearly swerved off the
road—“if my coffee cup wasn’t stuck under the damn brake pedal. I can’t reach it. You want to give
me a hand here?”
She eyed the floorboards warily, her eyes drifting over his lap…no doubt thinking about just how
up close and personal she was going to have to get to reach the cup. He was thinking about it too,
despite his best efforts not to. With that kiss still fresh in his mind, it was impossible not to think how
close she was going to be to the hard-on he’d been sporting since they’d left the truck stop.
“Anytime this week, Lil.” Damn. He had survived a helicopter crash and two tours in A-stan that
would’ve had most grown men pissing their pants and running home crying to Mama. How fucking
embarrassing would it be if a Flying Pig Truck Stop coffee cup was finally the thing to take him out?
Lilly finally scooted across the seat and bent over his lap. Her long hair draped over his legs and
he sucked in a sharp breath. This…was not going to work. Her cheek brushed his thigh and he cursed.
With her taste still fresh in his mind, his dick considered this a call to stand at attention, and there was
nothing he could do about it. For fuck’s sake, he wasn’t a saint. He was a man. And with her ass stuck
up in the air and her face between his—
“Almost…”
She wiggled and his gaze drifted to her hips. He threw his arm over the back of the seat and fisted
the jacket hanging over it. All the blood in his body was headed south, and if she kept this up there
wouldn’t be any left north of the border to keep him going. The light pressure she was unintentionally
applying to his cock was driving him insane. Her head slipped between his legs, beneath the steering
wheel, and he bit back a groan.
A car accident wasn’t going to kill him. A massive heart attack was.
“Got it!”
Her head slid back up into his lap and he shoved his hips backward into the seat, fighting the urge
to thrust forward. Gravel crunched under the tires and he jerked the vehicle back onto the road.
When he finally regained full control of the truck, he exhaled a shaky breath, and said, “Why the
hell did you tell me to watch out, anyway?”
“You almost ran over a turtle crossing the road.” Her muffled voice rose from his lap.
“A turtle? You almost got us killed for a turtle?”
She reached up and tugged on her hair, and he glanced down to see what was taking her so damn
long.
“You would have killed it! What if it had babies it was trying to get back to?”
She was insane. Certifiably in-fucking-sane. He opened his mouth to tell her so, but before he could
speak, sirens blared. Red and blue flashing lights reflected from the rearview mirror. Son of a bitch.
“Lil…you might want to get up now.”
“I’m trying.” She wiggled, pulling her head up from his lap, and stopped. “Oh, no.”
She tugged on her hair again and he eased off to the side of the road, thankful to have control of the
brakes again. “I’m not fucking around, Lilly. I’m getting pulled over. By the cops.”
“My hair is stuck,” she squeaked.
Her face dropped back onto his thigh and he slammed the gear into park. “In what?”
“Your zipper!”
She slid forward, trying a different angle. Her mouth grazed the inside of his thigh and his cock
twitched. He gripped the steering wheel. “Less moving, Lil. Way less moving.”
She gasped. “Oh, my God. Are you—”
Hard as a fucking oak? Yes. Yes, he was.
“Jesus, Lilly! I’ll explain the inner workings of the male anatomy to you later. Can you just sit the
hell up?”
He watched the cop cautiously approach the driver’s side of the car and cursed under his breath.
How the hell was he going to explain this? Of all the times he’d imagined Lilly’s lips so close to his
cock, this particular scenario had not been in any of his fantasies.
“Afternoon, Officer.” Nate smiled at the highway patrolman who approached the window, sliding
his sunglasses down his nose as rain poured off the brim of his hat. He did not look amused. “It’s not
what it looks like.”
The cop leaned in to survey the situation. A look of instant recognition lit up his face when he lifted
his gaze to Nate.
“Nate Jennings?” A smile split his face as he tucked his sunglasses in his pocket. “Never thought
I’d see you again. Especially not like this.”
Nate squinted at the familiar face, scrambling for a name. “Wyatt?”
Damn it! He was still an hour outside the Cedar Springs city limits and already he was running into
people he knew.
“Oh, my God,” Lilly groaned into his lap. “Please tell me you don’t know him.”
Nate rested his hand on her hip and leaned back. “Lilly Grayson, meet Wyatt Sutton. We went to
high school together.”
“Does he have a gun?” Lilly asked. “Just tell him to shoot me now. I’m totally fine with that.”
Wyatt peered into the car and laughed. “Do I even want to ask?”
Nate sighed. “I swerved to miss an animal back in the road and my coffee cup fell onto the
floorboard. It rolled under the brake pedal. She was trying to get it and—”
“And my hair got stuck in his zipper. Okay?” she snapped. “Now that we’re all caught up on the
situation, can we go back to discussing putting me out of my misery?”
Wyatt laughed. “Well, I can’t give you the gun, but I do have something else that might be able to
help you out.”
…
“Well, that could have gone worse.” Nate sighed and tossed his sunglasses onto the dashboard,
watching Wyatt’s police cruiser disappear through the heavy sheet of rain. “At least he was amused.
Got us out of a ticket.”
Lilly inspected her hair in the mirror and tried not to cry. “Are you serious? You cut off my hair
with his pocketknife! And you know him! How in God’s name could that have gone any worse?”
“Your hair will grow back.” Nate leaned down to inspect his leg and let out a hiss between his
teeth. “Do you have any idea how hot that coffee was?”
She scowled at him, heating at the memory of the tantalizing hardness that hid behind his zipper.
He’d been that affected by her just being close to his—
She didn’t know whether to be flattered or worried. She tucked her ragged hair behind her ear and
frowned when a curl, now shorter than the rest, slipped free and fell back into her face. Great. At this
rate she was going to be disfigured by the time she got to Vermont. So much for bagging a hot
groomsman. Reluctantly, her eyes wandered over to the one groomsman she had no intention of
bagging. That kiss had been a mistake. A mistake she wasn’t going to repeat.
Right? Right.
He slid his seat all the way back and was rolling his pants leg up to inspect the damage.
“Does it really hurt that bad?”
He grunted. “I’ll be fine.”
She sighed and grabbed her purse, fishing for the first aid kit Hayden had given her for Christmas
last year. “Take your pants off.”
He stilled and turned his wide-eyed gaze on her. “Excuse me?”
“Take your pants off so I can take a look at the burn. You can change into dry ones before we get
back on the road.”
She didn’t wait for him to answer. Instead, she grabbed the little black kit and looked up to find
Nate standing out in the rain, shimmying out of his jeans. Once he had them off he jumped back in and
shut the door to block the rain out.
“It’s just a coffee burn.” He wadded up his pants and tossed them in the back seat. “I think I’ll live.
No need to play Florence Nightingale.”
She sighed. “Has anyone ever told you that you’re as stubborn as a mule?”
“Well, look at that,” he drawled. “We do have something in common.”
“Just slide your seat back and shut up.”
Amusement in his gaze, he obeyed and slid his seat back far enough for her to get a good look. She
had the feeling that not many women gave orders to Nate Jennings. And it was even less likely that he
obeyed them. A thrill of pleasure ran through her that he’d given in so easily. Not that she expected it
to happen again.
“You carry a first aid kit?” He raised a brow as she ripped open a packet of burn gel. “Why does
this seem eerily familiar?”
“I worked for Hayden Summers for two years. Her neurosis was bound to rub off on me.”
The laughter died in his throat when she slipped her hand under his thigh to pull his leg up, then
rubbed the gel over the red mark on his muscular calf, soothing the burn. She peeked up at him and his
eyes were half-lidded, watching her with an intensity that sparked a burn low in her belly. God…that
really was all it took from him. One look that stripped her bare and she was overwhelmed with want.
Why couldn’t she be this attracted to someone safe? Like her dentist. Or the guy at the coffee shop
who kept writing his number on her caramel macchiato.
“I really am sorry about your hair,” he said.
She slapped a gauze pad over the burn a little harder than necessary. “You didn’t seem very sorry
when you were going at it like it was a log and you were in a lumberjack competition.”
He chuckled. “Hey, I tried to unzip. But I ran out of options when you started screaming like a
banshee.”
“You pulled my hair! It hurt.”
“There was a cop staring at us while your face was planted in my lap. I was working under
pressure, Lil.”
“A cop?” She scoffed. “He showed you pictures of his kids and told you stories about the high
school reunion you missed. I doubt you were in danger of doing hard time.” She leaned back and
zipped the kit back up, forcing her gaze to stay on his face and not on the considerable bulge inside
the black boxer briefs he was wearing. “There. How does that feel?”
Grabbing an extra pair of jeans out of his duffel bag, he shrugged, then fought to pull them on in the
cramped space that the truck provided. “Like I said, I’ve had way worse injuries.”
Without thinking, she reached out and touched the white scar peeking out from under his sleeve. He
stilled, hands on his jeans zipper. Damn her weak willpower. She knew getting this close to him was
a bad idea, especially after that kiss, but she couldn’t help herself…or the curiosity that had taken
control of her hand. His gaze dropped to her fingers, which were tracing the jagged raised flesh. The
sound of the rain beating the roof of the truck only seemed to intensify the moment.
“Like this one?”
“Yes. Like that one.” His voice sounded gruff.
Amazed that he wasn’t stopping her, she slipped her fingers up into his sleeve to follow the ridge of
flesh. “How did it happen?”
“Souvenir from my last tour.” The muscles in his biceps twitched under her touch. “Helicopter
crash.”
Lilly’s heart clenched and something painful tugged at her stomach imagining him in that much pain.
A helicopter crash? How did a person even survive something like that? She glanced at the dog tags
he always wore around his neck. She couldn’t make out the name from this angle, but she could see
that it wasn’t his. Had someone died? Had he almost died?
“You must have been really lucky to survive something like that,” she said.
Nate pulled away abruptly and tugged his sleeve back down into place. “So they tell me.”
“You don’t feel lucky?” She blinked up at him and his jaw clenched.
“Depends on what day you ask me.”
“What about today?”
His gaze slid over her face and down the column of her throat, making her pulse jump. When it
came back up and landed on her mouth, something flared in his blue eyes. “Yeah. I’d say today I’m
feeling pretty lucky.”
Chapter Seven
Rain pounded furiously against the truck roof and lightning streaked across the dark-gray Virginia sky.
He thought they might be close to Cedar Springs, but the heavy rain and lack of light were making it
hard to recognize anything out there. He remembered this old highway went straight through town at
some point, but right now it just looked like they were in the middle of nowhere. Nate ground his teeth
to the rhythm of the windshield wipers. Between the jackknifed semi that had turned their one-hour
detour into a three-hour detour, and the sexy-as-fuck little sounds Lilly made in her sleep, he was
completely on edge. Every moan and whimper did nothing but remind him how badly he wanted her.
And the fact that the storm had intensified and the sun had set didn’t help matters, either.
“Nate…” Lilly’s soft moan pulled him from his thoughts. She was sleeping, face pressed against
the truck window. Little puffs of breath fogged the glass around her lips. Her hair, all tousled honey
curls, hid half of her face. He liked seeing her like this. So quiet and vulnerable. He liked it way too
much.
An image of her curled into his side, lips pressed against his bare chest instead of that frigid
window, flashed through his mind, making his chest ache. He clenched his fingers, resisting the urge
to reach over and brush the hair away from her pretty face.
What the hell was wrong with him? He’d never entertained fantasies like that before. He knew
better. Knew that letting a woman get so close would never work in his world. So, why couldn’t he
get his shit under control now?
Her thighs rubbed together as she whimpered his name again, and he had his answer.
Motherfucker. What the hell was she dreaming about? His cock had plenty of ideas. He rubbed the
heel of his palm down his erection before forcing his hand back to the wheel.
Shit. He was never going to make it to Vermont without touching her again. The attraction was too
strong, overriding the last shred of common sense that hadn’t already flown south for the winter.
Suddenly, the thoughts were jarred from his head when the truck hit something hard. The cab and
its contents lurched forward as the tires squealed and spun out of control. He cursed, and shot his arm
across the seat instinctively to protect Lilly. He lifted his foot off the brake, grabbed the wheel tight,
and rode it out until the truck jerked to a halt halfway down the muddy ditch on the side of the road.
Lilly woke with a gasp, clutching at his hand on her chest. His vision pinwheeled and his heart
pounded against his ribs, making it hard to breathe. Shoving aside the instant panic, he blinked away
the sound of helicopter blades spinning and stalling in his mind.
They were okay. They were okay.
“What happened?”
He pulled his hand from her death grip and gritted his teeth. What had happened?
His inability to show even an ounce of self-control around her, that’s what had fucking happened.
He could have gotten them killed because he couldn’t stop thinking with his dick.
“We hit something,” he said, popping open his door and leaning out to get a look at a mammoth-size
tree branch embedded in the front bumper. “A big fucking tree. It must have come down in the storm.”
He pulled himself back in, shook off the rain, and slammed the door shut again.
“A tree fell across the road, and you didn’t see it?” she asked incredulously. “What the hell were
you doing?”
Thinking of all of the things I could do to make you moan like that while you’re awake.
Pain spiked through his right temple and he sank back in his seat, consternation clouding his
thoughts. There was no way they were getting out of that ditch without a tow. Hell, he’d be lucky if he
hadn’t broken the damn axle.
Which left him stranded in the one place he’d been avoiding for nearly ten years.
He grabbed his cell out of the cupholder. No service. Perfect.
“What’s wrong?” She sat up, worry creasing her brows as she pushed her sleep-mussed hair out of
her eyes.
Heart sinking, he stared at the dark truck gauges that had been lit up just moments before. “Please
tell me you have cell service.”
“You’re messing with me, right?” Her gaze frantically inspected the dashboard. “Tell me we’re not
stranded out here.”
“We’re not stranded out here.”
“You’re lying, aren’t you?”
“Yes. Now could you check your phone? Please.”
She dug her phone out of her bag and frowned. “Nothing.”
He cursed under his breath and leaned across her to grab a flashlight from the glove compartment.
“Stay in the car.”
“Wait! You can’t go out there.” She grasped his arm, eyes wide as they darted to the windshield
and back to his face. Her delicate fingers pressed into his skin.
Heat sparked under her touch, awakening an overwhelmingly intense need that overshadowed the
ache in his skull. “Why not?”
“What if you get struck by lightning or something?”
The ache settled deep in his belly. “Are you worried about me, Lil?” He shone the light on her,
letting the beam coast down her body, highlighting all of the spots that would mold perfectly into the
palms of his hands.
She huffed out a breath, grabbed it out of his hand, and clicked it off. “Not hardly. I just don’t want
to be left alone out here in hillbilly hell.” She folded her arms across her chest and peered out the
window. “I’m pretty sure this how every Texas Chainsaw Massacre movie begins.”
He snatched the flashlight back. “I used to fly six-ton helicopters in conditions worse than this for a
living, Princess. I think I can handle a little rain.”
“But—”
He cut off her response by throwing his door open again and stepping out into the rain. Seeing the
concern shining from her eyes for him, together with her tender touch, was a dangerous combination.
One he didn’t think he’d be able to resist much longer. He only hoped the rain would be enough to get
rid of the hard-on he’d been sporting for the better part of the day. How she could set off this kind of
lust with nothing more than brushing the hair off her neck or moaning in her sleep was completely
beyond him. It was time for him to get his shit together. Giving in to this lunacy wasn’t an option.
She deserved better than him. Besides, he was leaving the country in a matter of days. Nothing and
no one was going to change that.
He rounded the front of the truck and kicked the big-ass branch that was wedged under the front
end.
“Son of a bitch!” He kicked it once more for good measure, and raked the wet hair back from his
forehead. How the hell had he let this happen? One weak moment, and he’d managed to not only fuck
his truck beyond immediate repair, but he’d put Lilly in danger.
Jace had only asked him for two simple things: bring the necklace and the photographer safely to
Vermont, and he was screwing it up royally.
A clap of thunder split the sky and he clutched the hood, taking deep, steady breaths to calm
himself. He’d fix this. They weren’t far from town. He’d find a tow truck and a mechanic and be good
to go. He would not miss this wedding. He would not let Jace down again.
He couldn’t. Not when he was on the verge of telling him he was abandoning him all over again.
He had to get at least this one thing right.
“Nate?”
The soothing touch on his arm yanked him from his depressing thoughts. On pure reflex, he jerked
away, and opened his eyes to see Lilly watching him warily. Rain slipped over every inch of her,
soaking her white sundress to the point of being translucent. He could make out every damn detail of
the lacy bra she wore underneath. Wet strands of hair stuck to her collarbone and neck. The woman
was drenched.
Jesus…how long had she been standing there?
“Are you okay?” she asked, her eyes filled with concern.
Shit. He tore his gaze away and slammed the hood shut. “I thought I told you to stay in the truck.”
“I wanted to help.”
“You can help by listening to me for once.” He stalked away but she followed.
“I could help if you would stop being an asshole for five minutes,” she shouted over the pelting
rain.
They were insane for standing out here when there was a dry cab five feet away. No. Scratch that.
She was crazy, and she was driving him crazy by association.
“Regardless of what you might think, I’m good for things other than sex,” she informed him through
a clenched jaw. “I helped my brother work on cars for an entire summer. I even took a class in auto
mechanics. I’m not a moron.”
He narrowed his eyes, his anger spiking. She was breathing hard, the movement pressing her
breasts against the wet white fabric of her dress. Rain pooled in the groove of her collarbone before
cascading down the smooth expanse of her chest. She took a step closer and blinked up at him, the
challenge clear in her gaze.
Desire prowled beneath his skin as if his insides were a cage. Desire that demanded to be let free.
That quickly, anger morphed into white-hot lust that had his cock hardening all over again in his
jeans.
“I know you aren’t a moron,” he ground out. He also knew there was more to her than her beauty.
Knew there was an interesting, funny, caring person beneath the surface and snarkiness. But didn’t she
fucking understand? He didn’t want to see it! He didn’t want to want her.
“Then don’t—”
His fingers curled into fists at his sides and he forced his feet to stay planted in the mud. “Don’t
push me, Lil.” He gritted his teeth, his resolve cracking as he raked his gaze over her shivering body.
“Don’t push me unless you’re ready for me to push back.”
She took a step closer to him, erasing the distance between them. Something more electric than the
storm raging above crackled in the air between them. Without breaking her gaze she reached out and
placed her hand against his chest…
And pushed him.
…
Before Nate’s brain could remind him of all the reasons this was a really, really bad idea, his body
reacted. He grabbed her wrist and swallowed her gasp as he crushed his mouth against hers. His
tongue parted her lips, demanding entrance, and when she melted into him with a whimper, he was
lost.
Fuck good intentions.
He kissed her hard, hungry for the taste of her. He dug his fingers into her waist, starving for the
feel of her. She fisted the wet fabric of his T-shirt, twisting and tugging at the front. Shock nearly
numbed him to the fact that she was responding to his touch like this.
He walked her backward until the back of her legs slammed into the truck, and slipped his hands
under the hem of her dress to hoist her up to sit on the fender. Her legs immediately wrapped around
him and he groaned at that first touch of heaven. Fuck… Even through his jeans he could feel the heat
of her.
He pressed his hips forward in a slow grind that had her moaning into his mouth, pulling his bottom
lip between her teeth. He felt that sharp bite of pleasure-pain all the way down to the tip of his cock.
“You like doing this to me, don’t you?” he said against her lips. “Making me fucking crazy for you.”
He dragged a hand from the warmth of her hips up to cup her breast, and slid his lips along the skin
just below her jaw. Damn, if touching her like this didn’t feel like coming home . Her head fell back
and she moaned, arching into his touch, and he had to keep his other hand planted on her hip to keep
her from slipping off the wet metal.
“Nate…,” she whimpered, working her hands under his soaked T-shirt, tracing every dip and ridge
of his flesh as if she were memorizing them.
That little bit of skin-on-skin contact had his cock throbbing like mad. He thrust against her, unable
to stop himself. Rain beat against his back and flavored their frenzied kisses. Somewhere in the back
of his mind, he knew this needed to stop. He couldn’t fuck her out here on the side of the road. Hell,
he shouldn’t be touching her at all.
Lilly didn’t deserve to be another casualty in his life. She deserved more. Much more, of things he
could never give her.
He grappled for a single scrap of self-control, just enough to pull away, but it wasn’t there. She
fucking owned him.
“Tell me to stop,” he pleaded against her mouth. Even as the words left his lips, his hand inched its
way under her dress, slipping inside the silk panties to find her wet and ready. “Fuck, Lil…please tell
me to stop.”
“Why?” she nearly sobbed. She moved her hips, searching for that perfect friction until his fingers
slid through her slick folds.
He tore his mouth away and pressed his forehead against hers, shuddering. Why? Because he was
leaving. And if he let himself sink into the sweet heat his fingers were getting a taste of, he wasn’t
sure he’d ever be able to walk away from her again.
He was too fucked up to give her what she really needed. And there wasn’t a doubt in his mind—he
was going to hurt her.
The last thought was enough to summon his wits. He broke contact and took a step back from her,
peeling her legs from his waist, then plowing his fingers through his hair. Fighting for control.
She straightened, clinging to the edge of the truck fender, eyes wide. “W-what’s wrong?” Rain
sluiced down her face, sheeted off the truck, and bounced off the pavement.
He raked his teeth across his bottom lip, feeling the loss of her taste far deeper than he should. “I
can’t do this, Lil. I’m sorry.”
She stared at him for a split second, then slid off the bumper and jerked her dress back down into
place. She was shaking. “Are you trying to humiliate me, Nate? Do you really hate me that much?”
His gaze snapped to meet hers. “Don’t you ever fucking say that. I don’t hate you. I would never
want to humiliate you. That’s not what this is about.”
“Then what is it about?” she asked, her voice breaking. “What was it about a year ago?”
“What happened between us that night was—”
Amazing. Terrifying . Like nothing he’d ever felt with another woman, and it had only been one
night. A night that had pulled him under deep enough to scare the shit out of him and make him run like
a hail of bullets were at his heels.
“A mistake,” she finished for him, moisture glinting from her eyes that had nothing to do with the
shitty weather. “Just say it, Nate. I was a mistake.”
When he didn’t respond she spun around and headed for the passenger side of the truck, where she
grabbed her purse and slung it over her shoulder. Then she whirled and stalked down the road.
Panic gripped his chest. That’s how badly she wanted to get away from him. She’d put herself in
danger just to do it.
This was what you wanted. Right, asshole?
Hell, no.
“Lilly, wait!” He took off after her. “Will you stop for a minute and talk to me?”
“I don’t see the benefit for me in that,” she snapped. “I’ve made a fool of myself enough for one
night. And I think you’ve made it perfectly clear what you want from me.”
“Lil—”
“So let me be clear.” She stopped to face him, and the hurt in her eyes made Nate’s chest twist with
a sharp pain. “I don’t want anything from you either. Including this damn ride.”
She spun and started walking again, her heels sloshing through the water running across the road.
He rubbed a hand over his jaw and went after her. “Princess. You’re going the wrong way.”
“If it’s away from you, it’s the right way,” she muttered. “Stop following me. And don’t call me
princess.”
“You’re acting like a child. Damn it, Lil! Can you not come back here and let me explain?”
That stopped her. She turned, the gritty pavement scraping beneath her ridiculously high heels. Her
eyes narrowed to angry green slits. “Child? Have you ever heard the expression ‘You can catch more
flies with honey than with vinegar’?”
“No,” he lied, irritated.
She threw her hands up and started marching down the road again. “Google it!”
“This is your last warning, Princess.” He strode forward, tension banding his chest. “You’re not
going to like what happens if I have to chase you down.”
She didn’t stop. Without turning or breaking stride, she lifted a hand and flipped him off, putting a
little extra swing into her hips.
He took off after her, his feet pounding the wet pavement. When he reached her, he caught her
around the waist, swung her up, and tossed her over his shoulder.
She screamed and beat on his back with her fists, but he just turned back toward the truck and
started to whistle. Not because he was feeling especially jovial, but because he knew it would piss
her off. And right now, pushing her buttons the way she pushed his felt too fucking good to resist. He
was vibrating with a dangerous combination of anger and lust. If she wasn’t careful, she was going to
feel the brunt of both.
“Is this you actually trying to get away from me?” He caught her calf just before she kneed him in
the chin. “It’s cute. In fact, now that I think about, the nickname Princess might not be so fitting. I
should call you something more appropriate. Like Tinker Bell.”
She gasped, and swung her purse at him. So he snatched it away from her and tossed it into the cab.
Then he beeped the doors locked, shoved his keys into his pocket, and started walking.
He was getting her off the side of this damn highway and out of the storm if he had to carry her the
whole damn way to Vermont.
“Put me down you…you…Neanderthal!” She pushed at his back and kicked her legs, but he held
her firm. “You are so going to regret this. You have to sleep sometime. And when you do, you’re
going to wish you’d never closed your eyes—”
He slapped her hard on the ass, just once, silencing her. She was lucky he hadn’t bitten it instead.
The way that perfect curve of delectable flesh was swaying right in front of his eyes made him want
to sink his teeth into her, then kiss the sting away.
“Did you just…spank me?” Outrage colored her voice.
Even now his palm ached and his cock twitched, daring him to do it again. “Words weren’t
working,” he said, trying to judge by the light in the distance how far the next road was. A mile. Two
maybe. Definitely too far to be walking in this kind of storm, but he didn’t see another option. If he
had to get back into that truck with her, he only saw it ending one way. With him between her thighs.
“That’s because I have absolutely no interest in what you have to say!”
“Well, maybe when you see my handprint on your ass tonight, it will serve as a reminder to pay
better attention.”
He bounced her on his shoulder to get a better grip, and a gentle oomph rushed from her lips. “To
what? To the fact that you’re an asshole? FYI, I don’t need a reminder of that. The giant chip on your
shoulder kind of gives you away.”
He gritted his teeth and tightened his grip around her thighs. “Then make it a reminder not to piss
me the hell off. Because if you keep up with the lip…”
“You’ll do what, Nate? Spank me some more? Retaliate again?”
Tempting. All too tempting.
“Keep talking, Princess, and you’ll find out.”
Chapter Eight
“Dirty Dick’s Brew and Grub?”
Lilly hesitantly stepped out of the rain and walked past the steel door Nate was holding open for
her.
Oh. Now he decided to be a gentleman. After he’d spanked her, and carried her over his shoulder
caveman-style all the way to Fox Creek Road.
She could still feel his damn handprint on her ass. If he thought he was getting away with that, he
was sadly mistaken. She wasn’t blind, or stupid. He wanted her. Maybe not all of her, but he wanted
her in his bed again. That kiss they’d shared hadn’t lied.
She was done with being on the receiving end of his mood swings every time he got a damn hard-
on. If this was how he wanted to play it, then game fucking on.
“It’s dry inside, and they must have a phone we can use,” he said. “This isn’t the time to be picky.”
She shivered as a breeze from the air-conditioning swept over her sopping-wet dress. He shook the
excess water out of his hair and guided her toward the surprisingly busy bar. A jukebox played a
twangy tune in one corner and a few couples were actually dancing. Laughter and the clank of beer
bottles echoed through the room. There were only a few barstools open, and Lilly slid onto one while
Nate remained standing beside her, his eyes scanning the place as if he were casing it.
“Holy hell, what happened to you two?” a perky bartender asked as she propped her elbows on the
bar, giving her girls a boost. The move seemed practiced, and had probably earned her enough tips to
buy a new car. She tossed her long black hair over one shoulder and her eyes skidded over Lilly
before eating up the sight of a dripping wet Nate Jennings. Lilly had to give him credit. He didn’t
seem to notice the woman’s blatant perusal, or if he did, he chose to ignore it.
“We broke down a couple of miles back,” Nate said.
“And you walked here?” The bartender hiked a perfectly manicured brow. “In that mess?” She
jerked a thumb toward the entry door where rain sprayed inside every time it opened. Thunder
rumbled, adding another layer of sound over the music, and the lights flickered.
“Unfortunately, yes. Do you have a phone we could use? I need to get a tow and find us a place to
bunk for the night.”
The woman’s lips slid into a slow smile that said she had just the place for Nate to bunk down
tonight. She called over her shoulder for someone named Hank to take over.
“Sure thing, sugar. Right this way.” She motioned for Nate to follow her around behind the bar.
“Hang on.” His gaze slid over Lilly and he hesitated, looking torn. His jaw tensed as he scanned the
crowd. “Think you can stay put?”
She crossed her legs, allowing her wet dress to slide up her thighs, and leaned forward on her
elbows putting her girls on display. She knew she was creating the desired effect when Nate’s eyes
darkened as they drank her in, inch by soaking inch.
“What if I don’t?” she asked innocently. “Are you going to spank me again?”
Without another word, he stalked away toward a dark-haired woman on the dance floor. Surprised,
Lilly watched him, trying to quell the unreasonable jealousy that burned her up inside at the sight of
the friendly smile he flashed the other female.
What the hell? Surely, he wasn’t trying to score a hookup now. Not after he’d just kissed her—and
rejected her—on the side of the road.
She scowled as she watched him pull out his wallet and hand the woman two hundred-dollar bills.
The brunette smiled brightly and slid off her denim jacket and handed it over. What was he up to?
He strode back to Lilly and draped the jacket over her shoulders, a frown making lines between his
eyebrows that she wanted to reach up and smooth away. “Put your arms in,” he ordered.
She obeyed—but only because she was freezing. “Did you just…buy that woman’s jacket?”
“Yes.” He tugged the material closed over her chest and took a step back.
“Why?”
He planted his hands on her knees, the touch like flames compared to the clammy temperature of her
skin, and leaned in until his lips brushed her ear.
“Because you’re giving every man in here a hard-on, including me,” he growled. “And I’m too
fucking tired to get in a fight tonight. So do me a favor and keep yourself covered with the damn
jacket.”
She gasped as the heat from his hands and his words slowly heated her to the point of blushing. He
then turned without another word and disappeared behind the bar with Lady McBoobs, leaving her
speechless. She looked down at her dress and groaned.
Of course she would be wearing a white dress the day she was forced to walk through a torrential
downpour. Or rather, to be carried through one. She’d be willing to bet that anyone who’d looked
would be able to identify her bra and panties in a lingerie lineup.
She swiveled on her bar stool, feeling the weight of the day wearing her down, and waited for
Hank the bartender to come back and put her out of her misery. She needed a drink. Or four.
She didn’t notice the young man who had sat down next to her until he spoke. “Excuse me, miss?”
She turned her head to face him and was met with an infectiously crooked smile. Brown curls were
tamed by a Virginia Tech baseball cap and red flannel shirtsleeves were pushed up past his elbows.
Cute. Not in the smoldering panty-dropping way that Nate was…but cute. Paige would have liked
him.
“Yes?”
“I’m sorry to bother you, but I was wondering if you could help me out? I seem to be having a
problem with my phone.” He slid his cell phone across the bar in front of her. “It doesn’t have your
number in it.”
She chuckled and slid it back to him. “I don’t think that’s your problem.”
“Oh, really?” He grinned. “Then what is my problem, beautiful?”
“That pickup line.”
Hank approached the bar, looking quite a bit more gray and worn than the woman Nate had
sauntered off with. Lilly once again shoved aside a stab of irrational jealousy and ordered a club
soda. As much as she wanted to drown her sorrows in something fruity and mind-numbing, that
probably wasn’t the best idea. Drinking herself into oblivion would have to wait until she made it to
Vermont.
If she ever made it to Vermont. At this rate she didn’t know if they ever would.
She turned back to Virginia Tech who was watching her with amused interest. “So tell me,” she
said. “How many times has that line worked?”
He shrugged confidently, taking a sip of his beer. “Enough to keep me busy.”
The bartender came back and slid her club soda across the bar. She stirred her drink and took a sip,
wondering what was taking Nate so long. Really, how long did it take to call a tow truck? She hadn’t
seen Lady McBoobs return either. Hmmm…
“So, the guy you came in with. Boyfriend?”
“No. Just a friend.”
A friend she desperately wanted to get naked with. Or choke the life out of. She still wasn’t quite
sure which would be more satisfying.
“Uh-huh.” He sipped his beer, watching her.
“What?”
“He looked a little possessive, that’s all.” He set his beer down. “Not many men would drop two
hundred bucks to cover up something unless they considered it theirs.”
She flushed, and squirmed under the jacket that smelled faintly of cigarette smoke and something
floral. “How did you know he did that?”
VT nodded to the girl on the dance floor, who was now just wearing a white T-shirt and skinny
jeans. “My cousin.”
“Well, you’ll have to give your cousin my thanks,” Lilly said. “Normally I wouldn’t have accepted
something like this, but as you can see, we’ve had a little bit of bad luck tonight.”
He sat back, flashing her a lazy smile. “Why don’t you tell me how I can make it better?”
She refrained from rolling her eyes, and glanced down at his cell phone. She smiled sweetly. “You
could let me use your phone.”
“And what do I get in return?” he asked, his voice dipping low.
“You get my eternal friendship,” she said, leaning forward. “And if you’re really nice, I might even
leave my best friend’s number in your phone. She’d like you.”
He looked at her, considering, then leaned in conspiratorially. “Your friend, is she as hot as you?”
Lilly leaned back and laughed. “She’s a yoga instructor. What do you think?”
VT handed the phone over and winked. “Okay. Deal.”
Lilly checked the time and sent off a text to Paige as she made her way to a quiet alcove in the front
of the bar. By the time she made it there, the phone buzzed. She picked up on the first ring.
“Why are you texting me from some random phone number?” Paige demanded.
“It’s a long story that starts with me making the biggest mistake of my life and ends with me
deciding not to make any more damned mistakes. I need you to come get me. I’m somewhere on the
corner of Redneckville and Trucker’s Paradise.”
“You’ve only been gone half a day. It can’t be that bad,” Paige said.
“Trust me. It can,” Lilly said, peering around the corner, looking for Nate.
“You’re going to want to lower your hips more for this position,” Paige said in a muffled voice.
“That’s it. Relax your lower back and breathe.”
Lilly pulled back around the corner and out of sight. “Are you seriously talking on your phone
while you’re instructing a yoga class?”
“You texted me
911
.”
“No. I texted you ‘
911
SEXY
SOLDIER
SITUATION
,’ so you wouldn’t think I was injured or dead.”
Paige sighed. “If you were dead you wouldn’t be able to text.”
“Are you going to help me or not?” Lilly snapped, peeking around the corner again.
“Okay, now we’re going to transition into downward dog,” Paige said. “Take a deep breath and—”
“Paige!”
“I’m here! Okay! Look, you’ve already been through worse than anything Private Panty-Melter
could possibly dish out. You can make it through this, too.”
Lilly closed her eyes and groaned. “I kissed him, Paige.”
“You what?” she said on a gasp. “What happened to teaching him a lesson? For the record, sticking
your tongue down a guy’s throat doesn’t usually count as a punishment.”
“You think I don’t know that?” she muttered. “Why do you think I can’t be here with him another
minute?”
Paige sighed. “It’s okay. All you have to do is keep it in your pants. You can do that, right?”
Lilly let her head fall back against the brick wall and sighed. “Yeah, I guess.”
“Say it,” Paige instructed sternly.
Lilly groaned, and closed her eyes. “I can keep it in my pants. I will keep it in my pants.”
“Good to know.”
Lilly yelped, and jumped away from the wall to see Nate watching her with an amused look on his
face.
He pursed his lips. “Maybe you should say it a few more times, just to be sure.”
Her face flamed and her stomach dropped like a lead sinker. She said a hasty good-bye to Paige
and ended the call. “That wasn’t— I wasn’t—”
God, just kill me now.
“I found a guy to tow the truck to a garage,” he said. “I want you to wait here. The storm is getting
bad. It’s not safe out there.”
“Fine.” She brushed past him, heading back to the bar. “But know that if you bail and leave me
stranded here, I will hunt you down and crush your manhood.”
Nate grabbed her arm and pulled her to a stop. The firm touch of his fingers sent a flurry of
butterflies reeling in her stomach. She looked up, surprised, and swallowed when she saw the intense
look in his eyes.
“Enough.” His voice dropped so that only she could hear him, the rumbling tone doing things to her
insides she wished she could fight. She licked her lips and his gaze dropped to her mouth. “I would
never leave you like that. Ever. Got it?”
“Yes,” she whispered.
He searched her face, seemed satisfied with what he saw, and nodded. “Good.”
Without another word, he released her arm and stalked back through the bar and out into the storm.
She touched her lips, forcing her wildly thudding heart to calm.
She had to get away from that man.
Now. Before she did something really, really stupid.
Like kiss him again.
Or not keep it in her pants.
…
The tow truck’s headlights spilled over the entrance to Dirty Dick’s Brew and Grub as they pulled
into the parking lot. Nate was anxious to get back to Lilly. He shouldn’t have left her alone. When
he’d walked away from her at the bar, he’d had only one thought in mind. Putting some distance
between them. After that kiss on the side of the road and then renewing his intimate acquaintance with
the perfection that hid beneath that wet, translucent dress, he’d needed to back off. If he hadn’t, he
would have done something insane. Like drag her back to the restroom and make her come loud
enough for every leering fucker in the bar to hear.
He nodded his thanks to the driver and checked his watch. Shit. He’d been gone an hour. There was
no telling what kind of trouble she’d gotten herself into in that amount of time.
He’d been lucky. All he’d needed was a winch to get his truck out of the muddy ditch, but even with
a jump they weren’t able to get her up and running. He was going to have to leave it at a shop. There
was no getting around it. They were stuck.
He strode into the bar like a man on a mission and stopped cold when he didn’t spot Lilly. The
barstool he’d left her on was empty. The jacket he’d given her draped over the back.
Fucking hell.
Panic gripped his chest in a tight fist as he grasped the back of the barstool and scanned the bar.
The bartender who introduced herself earlier as Jessica cleared away a half-empty glass in front of
the stool. Lilly had been drinking? Had she accepted a drink from a man she didn’t know? A thousand
nightmarish scenarios bled through his mind. He had to find her.
He slapped his hand down on the bar to get the two bartenders’ attention. “Hey, have either of you
seen the blonde I came in with?”
“Denny was buzzing around her for a while. I think I saw them leave together,” Jessica informed
him.
A sickening mixture of jealous rage and uncontrollable worry clouded Nate’s mind. No. Lilly
wouldn’t have left willingly with someone she didn’t know.
Would she?
She’d do anything to get away from you, remember? You made sure of that, dickhead.
“Who’s Denny?” he ground out.
Jessica shrugged as she wiped down the bar, leaning over in a way that made her look obvious and
pathetic in her attempts to attract his attention. He’d already told her earlier he wasn’t interested.
“He’s a regular,” she said. “He owns a farm up on County Line Road. Comes in a few times a
week. Usually leaves with one pretty blonde or another.” She chuckled at his murderous expression
and rolled her eyes. “Don’t worry, sugar. She didn’t look like she was going anywhere she wasn’t
willing to go. Denny tends to have that effect on the ladies.”
Nate dropped the denim jacket and stormed out of the bar, his heart hammering in his chest so hard
he’d probably have bruises on the inside tomorrow. He was two seconds away from completely
losing his shit. Why the hell would she do this? Had he pissed her off that badly, to the point she’d
put herself in danger just to escape him?
She didn’t know this Denny fucker. What if he hurt her? What if he—
He heard her voice. He froze. A laugh? He was going out of his mind and she was somewhere
laughing?
He stomped around the corner toward the source of the mirth and stopped when he saw her. Lilly
was huddled under the eave, sheltered from the rain, with some douchebag in a Virginia Tech
baseball cap. He was guessing this was Denny.
Well, Denny was about to get the beat-down of his life if he didn’t remove his goddamned hand
from the small of her back. Nate would be damned if he stood by and let another man touch her so
intimately when his handprint was still branded on her ass.
If she kept pushing him like this, he was going to give her another to match it.
Douchebag Denny whispered something in her ear and she laughed, the sound light and free. Her
damp dress now clung to every dip and curve of her lithe little body. And that bastard had his paws
all over her.
Lilly crouched down and he spotted the source of her joy. A little scruffball of a mutt was lying in
front of her chewing on a bone. It paused only to look up and burrow its head into the palm of her
hand as she scratched its ear. A dog? She was out here feeding a damn stray dog?
“I’ve always wanted a dog,” she murmured. “We couldn’t afford it when I was little. And now my
apartment complex doesn’t allow pets.” She pushed out a breath. “Not that I’ll have an apartment in a
few weeks.”
“Falling out with the roommate?” Denny asked.
“No. Nothing that serious,” she said. “She’s opening up a new yoga studio across town. There’s no
way I’ll be able to afford our loft on my own.”
“Maybe it’s a blessing in disguise. Who knows, maybe you’ll find an even better place. One that
allows pets, then you can have a little mutt like this to call your own.” Denny draped an arm around
her, brushed a hair from the side of her face.
She smiled up at him. “Yeah. Maybe.”
Nate saw red. She might be out here for the mutt, but this asshole had his own agenda.
Nate strode forward, accepting the fact that he might go to jail tonight. If she’d been trying to make
him jealous with this little stunt, good for her. It had worked. But jealousy was an ugly emotion, and
one he didn’t deal well with.
Lilly looked up at the sound of his footsteps, and her face paled.
“That’s right, Princess,” he said evenly. “You want to play? We’ll play.” He folded his arms over
his chest to stop them from doing something foolish. On second thought, he was done with the fucking
games. He’d take her to a damn motel and lock her in if he had to. “Time to go.”
“I don’t think she wants to leave with you,” the jerk in the hat drawled.
Nate looked at him with murder on his mind and the douchebag loosened his hold on her. She
looked up as if surprised the other man had gotten so close, and scooted out from under his hand.
“She came with me,” Nate said, voice harsh. “She’s leaving with me.”
She stood up and scowled at him. “Fine. Let’s go, warden.”
She leaned over and nuzzled the dog’s nose, whispering something soft and sweet to it.
Nate nearly groaned at the sight of that damp dress stretched across her backside. Jesus H. Christ.
Clearly, she had no idea what she was doing to him. Or hell, maybe she did.
He shot a look at D-Bag, who was enjoying the view, as well, and made a warning sound. “I’d
avert your eyes, motherfucker, unless you want one of them black.”
The bastard cursed under his breath, nodded at Lilly, and stomped back into the noisy bar.
Lilly glared at Nate as she stormed past and he followed, hot on her heels. When her fancy high
heels hit the gravel parking lot, she stopped searching for the truck, and he grabbed her by the arm.
She spun right into his chest. He felt dizzy from her proximity, her warmth. He closed his eyes and
breathed her in. She was intoxicating, and this was where she belonged.
With him.
“Are you trying to give me a damn heart attack?” he demanded. “Or do you just want to be
kidnapped or killed by some sick fuck?”
She jerked out of his grip. “I was feeding a stray dog. I wasn’t out dancing on a pole. And for the
record, last time I checked I was a grown woman. I don’t need your permission. Denny is a nice guy.
He was just keeping me entertained while I waited for you to finish whatever it was you were doing
in there with Lady McBoobs.”
“Do you even have a clue what could have happened to you?” he said in exasperation. “You’re in a
strange city, wearing a dress that’s certain to lure every lecherous creep within a five-mile radius like
a moth to flame. And you decide it’s a good idea to wander into a dark alley with a complete
stranger? You didn’t even know that guy, Lil. He could have—”
“Nothing happened,” she said between her teeth. “Nothing was going to happen. He was nice. He
asked if I wanted to go with him to feed scraps to a dog that always hung around the bar, so I went.
End of story.”
Nate opened his mouth to launch into another tirade, but she stopped him with a shake of her head.
“Don’t. You don’t get to do this, Nate,” she snapped. “I’m not yours to protect. I can take care of
myself. So leave it alone. Leave me alone. I can find another ride.”
He pinned her with a hard glare and shook his head. She was right. She wasn’t his. She wasn’t
going to be his. “Not a fucking chance. Get in the truck.”
He motioned to the tow truck that had agreed to give them a ride to a motel and take his ride to a
shop.
She gritted her teeth. “Fine.”
Jesus. This road trip was definitely going to kill him.
After this, active duty would be a damn picnic.
Chapter Nine
Lilly chewed on her bottom lip as Nate rang the bell in the lobby of the backwoods motel where the
tow truck driver had dropped them. Nate’s black T-shirt stuck to his skin like paint, every muscle and
dip visible as he rested his fists on the counter, refusing to look at her. Damn him for looking so good.
It made him so hard to hate. And right now, she really wanted to hate him.
While his caveman routine had the potential to be white hot in the bedroom, it was going to have to
stop. This was just supposed to be a ride. Plain and simple. Black and white. And everything was
getting twisted. She didn’t need a damn bodyguard. Or a quick roll in the hay, she reminded herself
firmly. What she really needed was something he would never be willing to give.
More.
She blinked away the last of her humiliation and exhaustion, and fought against the urge to drag
someone out of the motel office to give her a room. She needed a wall between herself and this man.
And a solid door. With a deadbolt. Or three. Maybe then she’d be able to keep her panties in place
and her fantasies to a minimum.
She smoothed her hands over her wet, wrinkled dress as an elderly woman came out of the back
and asked, “Can I help you?”
“We need two rooms, please.” Nate pulled out his wallet and tossed a card on the counter.
The woman took his credit card and the ID he slapped down beside it and typed something at a
snail’s pace into the laptop sitting on the counter. “We only have one room available.” She slid her
glasses up her nose and looked him up and down.
Lilly’s heart dropped into her stomach and she exchanged a wary look with Nate. No. There had to
be some kind of mistake. “How is that possible?” she asked incredulously. “We’re in the middle of
nowhere.”
“We’re the Happy Campers Lodge, not the Waldorf Astoria, sweetheart,” the woman said. “We
only have six rooms and most of them stay booked with regular tenants.”
Nate rubbed the back of his neck and sighed. “It’s fine. We’ll take the room.”
Lilly gaped at him. “I’m not staying in a room with you, Nate. No way.”
He turned to face her so fast her head spun. “It has a bed and it’s dry. If you want to take another
hike through the rain, be my guest.” He turned back to the counter.
She gritted her teeth. He was right. Damn it. Hayden always told her the universe worked in
mysterious ways. Lilly didn’t agree. The universe didn’t work in mysterious ways. It worked in really
fucked-up ways. Like sticking her in a hotel room with the man she’d been deliberately teasing,
torturing, and flaunting her ass to all day. She may as well have been thrown into a cage with a lion
she’d been poking with a stick through the bars for hours. Except, of course, he’d already made it
clear he wasn’t hungry. Not for her, anyway.
Humiliation complete.
While he retrieved the room key, she counted raindrops streaking down the window, letting the
soothing rhythm of the patter calm her frayed nerves. She could do this. They would sleep in separate
beds. It wasn’t as if she was some out-of-control teenager running high on hormones. She was a
grown woman who was in complete charge of her actions. She would just ignore him. Go straight to
bed and sleep. Yes. That was an excellent plan.
Rubbing her hands up and down her arms, she tried to chase away the chill that ran so deep her
teeth chattered. She probably wouldn’t have survived another hike through that storm, anyway.
Nate came up behind her and touched her elbow. “Come on,” he said. “Apparently we’re in the
Hunter’s Delight room.”
“Hunter’s Delight?” She closed her eyes and shook her head. “You know what? Never mind. Let’s
get this over with.”
A muscle in his jaw ticked and she grabbed the room key out of his hand and pushed out through the
doors, back into the cool night air. It was past ten, and despite the fact that it was July, the stormy
late-night temperatures had dropped enough to make her wish she was wearing something dry.
Ducking under a dripping gutter, she started searching for room 5. She could feel Nate behind her, his
very presence making it hard to focus on what she was looking for. When she spotted their room, she
fumbled with the key, shivering so badly she was unable to get it in the lock.
Nate planted his hand on the door and leaned in from behind, placing his lips at her ear, his chest to
her back. A tremor rolled down her spine and butterflies took flight in her stomach.
“Let me do it.”
She sighed and released the key into his waiting hand. The lock clicked and the door swung open.
She walked in first, flicking the light on, and her heart sank.
Oh, hell no.
A rustic-looking desk and chair sat on one side of the room, and big framed picture of a moose hung
on the dark wood-paneled wall over the queen-size bed. A Jacuzzi tub was tucked into the corner of
the room, surrounded by mirrors. Her eyes gravitated to a set of large antlers that adorned the spot
above the dresser. A bearskin rug was the focal point of the room, complete with vacant eyes and a
wide mouth filled with sharp teeth.
Lilly gasped in horror. Dear God. She was in a vegetarian’s nightmare. How many animals had
been slaughtered in the name of decor for this awful room?
Nate closed the door behind them with a final-sounding click. His breath fanned across the back of
her neck and she closed her eyes. He wasn’t even touching her, yet she could feel every inch of his
heat.
“There’s only one bed,” she said.
“And?”
“And you’re sleeping on the floor.”
“Fine.” His tone was clipped, and she flinched at the anger lacing it.
The jangle of his belt buckle and zipper going down echoed through the room.
Oh, God. Was he seriously getting naked? Now?
“What are you doing?”
“Getting out of these wet clothes,” he said. “You should probably do the same unless you want to
get sick.”
Oh, man. Distraction. She needed a distraction.
She scowled fiercely. “You owe me an apology first.”
Nate stalked across the room in nothing but a pair of skin-tight boxer briefs and her mouth watered
momentarily before she gave herself a mental slap upside the head. He tossed his jeans over a chair
to dry, then jerked back the sheets to grab a pillow.
“For what?” he asked.
“Oh, I don’t know.” She tapped her finger to her lips. “For manhandling me on the side of the
highway?”
He smirked, going to the closet and opening it. “If memory serves, you handled me right back.”
Her cheeks flushed and anger lit her up from the inside. “I meant after that. Do you not recall going
all caveman and throwing me over your shoulder?”
Nate pulled out an extra blanket, turned, and shook it open, refusing to look at her. “You weren’t
being cooperative. I did what needed to be done to control the situation, to get you to a safe place.”
She jerked the blanket out of his hands to get his attention. “And what about the handprint on my
ass?” She stuck a hand on her hip. “Was that necessary to control the situation?”
Nate grabbed the blanket back and finally met her gaze. “No. That was just because you pissed me
off.”
“You have serious issues. You know that, right?” she ground out. “Don’t you ever get tired of trying
to control everything?”
“Don’t you ever get tired of talking?”
Frustration boiled under her skin, and Paige’s words whispered through her mind. Show him what
he’s been missing.
Fine. If the man insisted on manhandling her and ordering her around, then she had her own brand
of torture in mind. One that would leave him with a lethal set of blue balls that would hopefully keep
him up all night.
“Speaking of tired…” Sending him a return smirk, she nonchalantly slid one strap of her dress
down her shoulder, then the other.
Nate froze beside the bed.
The dress slid down her body to pool at her feet, leaving her in her bra and panties. Wet, nearly
transparent bra and panties.
Make that completely transparent.
He hissed in a breath on a curse. “What are you doing?”
She shrugged. “Just following your orders and getting out of these wet clothes.”
She reached for the front clasp of her bra, pausing when a growl rumbled deep in his chest like a
warning. “Lilly…”
The gravel in his voice and the fire igniting behind his eyes made her feel as if she’d just raked a
stick across the bars of that lion’s cage. This time the lion looked hungry.
Really hungry.
She swallowed, and projected a calm mask of confidence. “I’m going to take a shower.” She hiked
a brow. “Or do I need your permission to do that? Maybe you’d feel more comfortable if you gave me
explicit instructions?”
She knew she was playing with fire. And she’d been burned by this particular flame before. But she
didn’t stop herself. Couldn’t. She needed a reaction out of him. She desperately wanted him to regret
turning her away. Because she refused to believe that she meant absolutely nothing to him, while he
consumed her every thought.
His heated gaze traveled over her nipples straining against the wet, lacy bra, then dipped to the silk
between her legs. His hands clenched into fists at his sides.
She turned around, giving him her back, and unsnapped the clasp of her bra between her breasts.
No way did he deserve that view. The scrap of lace slipped off her arms and fell to the floor. Cool
air washed over her sensitive breasts and stomach, making her shiver.
She couldn’t see his reaction, but she felt the sound that came out of his chest all the way down to
her core. Damn it! Her plan was backfiring. This wasn’t supposed to affect her.
But even as she fought against it, desire licked at her insides like a flame and spread a warm flush
over her skin. An undeniable ache throbbed between her legs, and she realized she was subtly
rubbing her thighs together to ease it.
“Fuck.” Nate was suddenly behind her.
Her heart tripped over itself, giving her the wake-up call she needed. “Good night, Nate.”
She quickly strode into the bathroom, feeling herself crack apart inside, and slammed the door
behind her.
Bracing her hands on the counter, she stared at her reflection in the mirror. Her hair hung in damp
curls around her face and her cheeks were scarlet. Her green eyes held a quiet desperation that
looked too familiar for comfort.
For the first time in her life she could admit it. She looked like the one person she swore she’d
never become. She looked exactly like her mother.
Wasn’t this just the kind of crap she would have pulled? Hadn’t Lilly learned anything through her
mother’s mistakes? Or her own? It didn’t matter if Nate wanted her. He’d still walk away once he’d
gotten what he wanted.
Damn it.
Shame washed over her, extinguishing the heat completely.
“What the hell are you doing, Lilly?” she whispered in anguish. When her reflection offered no
good excuse for her behavior, she twisted the knobs in the shower until the tiny room began to fill
with steam, blurring the tears she refused to let fall. Tomorrow she had to get away from Nate. Even
if it meant taking a damn bus the whole rest of the way to Vermont.
She jumped at a sudden knock on the bathroom door, and grabbed for a towel off the rack, hastily
clutching it to her chest. He might have seen a good portion of her just moments before, but she’d be
damned if he got the whole picture for free.
She pulled the door open.
He had one hand braced on the doorframe, head hanging low. Electric-blue eyes peered up at her
and she swallowed.
“What do you want?”
His eyes flickered down to the towel, then he dropped his hand and pushed his way into the
bathroom, forcing her backward until her bottom hit the edge of the counter. He braced his hands on
either side of her hips, caging her in. Her breaths kicked up a notch—matching the frantic beating of
her heart.
“You,” he growled.
That one word was the only warning he gave before his mouth crashed into hers.
He took advantage of her gasp of surprise and his tongue swept between her lips. Her moans
mingled with his. Their tongues dueled for dominance. Nate grabbed the towel she had clutched to her
chest and ripped it away, instantly replacing the cool air that rushed over her skin with the warmth of
his bare chest. Wet heat spread between her legs, giving away just how much she wanted him.
He grabbed her by the hips and roughly sat her on the counter. The spark created by the simple act
of him putting his hands on her forced the breath from her lungs. His touch burned her. Branded her.
He wedged between her legs and his lips trailed down her throat as he shoved his palms up her
thighs. His thumbs swept so close to her center that she almost came.
“Oh God…what are we doing?” she gasped.
“If you want me to stop, say the word, Princess.” His breath, all lemon and mint, danced over her
lips, teasing, tempting.
“What do you want from me, Nate?”
“I want you, Lilly,” he said again. “I want your taste in my mouth. I want you riding my cock.
Screaming my name. Begging me for release.”
“Nate—”
“Tell me, then.” His voice dissolved into a rumble of heat when he reached her breasts, stopping to
stare while his thumbs teased the edge of her panties. “Tell me you don’t want me. Tell me you hate
me.”
She trembled under his touch, knowing those were the exact things she needed to say to keep this
train from going off the rails. But they would be lies. The way her body was vibrating with need for
him was proof of that.
“I can’t,” she whispered.
His mouth descended on her aching nipple and he sucked. She arched up off the counter, moaning,
and slid her fingers through his short hair. The way his hands dominated her body stole her breath.
Every caress, every kiss, every touch of his tongue demanded she relinquish control and give him
everything. And oh, God, did she want to give it to him. With the taste of him on her lips and his
fingers bruising her hips, she couldn’t think of anything she’d ever wanted more. Her nails bit into his
scalp and he growled against her breast, his teeth grazing her nipple.
“Sorry,” she said on a groan, and loosened her grip on his hair.
“Do it again.” He swirled his tongue around her other nipple. “Do it again or I’ll fucking stop.”
Without a second thought she dug her nails into his scalp again, scraping over the white scar that
carved a path through his dark hair.
“Fuck, yes.” He raised his gaze to hers.
Hungry…and possessive.
He pulled her against the hardness that only scraps of silk and cotton separated. They both moaned
at the contact, and he kissed her hard enough to steal away every remaining ounce of common sense.
The common sense previously screaming at her to keep her panties on. Now all she could think about
was Nate ripping them from her body and burying himself in her so deep she’d feel him there for a
week.
His tongue traced the seam of her lips, then his mouth trailed down to nip at the underside of her
chin. Gripping her thighs, he spread her wide open for him, and her head fell back against the mirror
as she moaned.
“This is your last chance to tell me to stop.” His voice rumbled against her throat while his fingers
teased the edge of her panties. “Once these come off, I’m going to be in you so deep you won’t
remember your own name. You’ve teased me for too long, Princess. I’m not going to be satisfied until
I hear you beg.”
“I told you,” she managed breathlessly, “I’m not begging.”
His lips curled into a cocky grin. “Want me to prove you wrong?”
“Are you going to threaten me all night, or are you going to do something?”
His fingers curled past the elastic of her panties. She knew from his heated expression he must feel
how wet she was. She refused to be embarrassed. He needed to see what he did to her. Needed to see
what he’d been doing to her for a year.
“Up.”
She didn’t hesitate to obey, lifting her hips to allow him to slide the silk down her legs.
“Good girl.” He tossed them aside as he dropped to his knees and grabbed her legs, draping them
over his shoulders. A gasp of surprise slipped past her lips, then dissolved into a moan.
He gave one hard, flat lick up her center, and then latched on to devour her. He flicked her clit with
his tongue, teasing her, then sucked it between his lips, growling against her flesh. The vibration the
sound created only added to the overwhelming sensations pulling her under.
God, how long had it been since someone had touched her like this? If her body’s out-of-control
response was any indication, way too freaking long.
“Do you like that, baby?” He blew against her wet center and she bucked up off the counter,
desperate for the friction his mouth offered.
“You know I do,” she moaned.
“So do I.”
His teeth grazed over her most sensitive part as he slipped two fingers inside her, adding to the
maddening pressure. He was keeping her right on the edge. Drawing out the torture when all she
wanted was for him to finish her. “Oh, God, Nate…”
“You taste so good. So fucking sweet. I don’t think I’ll ever get enough of you.”
“I’m so close. I need— I need—”
He paused, his breath heaving against her sex. “You know what I want to hear, Princess. Say it and
I’ll give you everything you need and more.”
His fingers continued to pump in and out of her, but it wasn’t enough. Not nearly enough. He had
her so crazed she couldn’t identify the emotions running wild inside her. Love, hate, pleasure, pain.
They all felt like one big, living, throbbing knot of desire taking over her body. In that moment,
nothing was more important than finding the orgasm that hovered just outside of her grasp. He reached
up and cupped one of her breasts, rubbing a rough thumb over the peak of her nipple. “Say it,” he
whispered.
The words exploded out of her. “Please,” she begged. “Please make me come, Nate. Please—”
He stood and his mouth slammed into hers. He shoved down his briefs and fisted his cock, placing
the tip at her entrance. Dragging his length through her wetness, he groaned, and pulled her bottom lip
between his teeth.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck.” He stayed poised at her entrance but didn’t go any further.
She pulled away to take in his pained expression. “If you tell me you can’t do this now, I swear to
God, I’ll drown you in this sink.”
He peered down at her, shaking with misery and restraint. “Not a fucking chance. I just don’t have
any condoms.”
She gaped at him. “You didn’t bring condoms to a wedding?”
“I wasn’t planning to get laid.”
“I’m on the pill. Can…I trust you?”
“Yes.” He closed his hand over hers. “In this, you can trust me. But, Lil…I can’t promise anything
more.”
She blinked back the moisture in her eyes. She could trust him with her body, but not her heart.
Whatever. Fine. She didn’t want to hear it. She just wanted him. Now. Even if it meant losing him
afterward. She’d deal with the shame of humiliation later. Right now, she didn’t want to feel that. She
wanted to drown all the future bad with everything good he was offering her now.
“Nate. Stop talking and just fuck me.”
Heat flashed in his gaze and he plunged inside with one hard thrust. He pulled out and slammed
home again. Then buried his face in her neck and groaned as he kissed her there and grazed her
shoulder with his teeth. Out and home. Out and home.
In this position, she still couldn’t get the friction she wanted. Needed. Every time he thrust into her
she inched farther away from him on the slick countertop. She whimpered, scooted forward, and
ground against the base of his erection.
“Hold on to me,” he ordered, sensing her frustration, and slipped his hands under her bottom to pull
her off the counter.
She locked her legs behind his hips and he spun them around. Her back slammed against the closed
door. She moaned at the way he filled and stretched her from this angle. Perfect. The door rattled
under the force of his unrelenting thrusts. The sounds of skin slapping against skin and their mingled
grunts and moans filled the tiny space, driving her even higher and hotter than she thought possible.
She caught their reflection in the bathroom mirror and her stomach tightened at the erotic image—
Nate pinning her against the door, his muscles flexing, straining, powering her toward release. The
intense pressure built between her legs with every sensual thrust of his hips, until it came crashing
over her in an instant. Her breath caught in her throat and stars winked across her vision. She opened
her mouth on a silent cry as her thighs trembled around him. He pressed his forehead against hers and
his pace increased until she was bouncing on his cock.
“That’s it, baby. You’re going to come for me. You’re going to come for me so hard that every time
you close your eyes you’re going to see this. See me giving you the fucking ride of your life.”
“Oh, God. Nate!”
He crushed his mouth against hers, smothering her scream as he pounded, drawing out the
aftershocks of her orgasm as he sped toward his own. He groaned, and a second later she felt his
muscles tense under her fingertips. Then the force of his release exploded and throbbed inside her.
When she finally caught her breath and opened her eyes, he was still holding her up against the
door. Breathing hard, he reached up and swept the damp hair away from her face, then rubbed his
thumb over her bottom lip. The tenderness in his eyes killed her. He shouldn’t be looking at her like
that. That’s not how a man looked at a woman he was just using for sex.
She blinked and looked away. “I probably need that shower now,” she murmured. “You don’t have
to stay.”
He watched her for a few seconds in tense silence, then turned and carried her over to the shower.
Without a word, he set her on her feet under the spray, then stepped in to join her.
“Nate…what are you doing?”
“Right now?”
“Yes?”
He kissed her once, slowly worshiping her mouth with his lips and tongue, then dropped to his
knees. He kissed the spot just below her belly button, and gripped her calves. He peered up at her
with renewed desire in his eyes. “I’m tasting every fucking inch of you.”
Chapter Ten
Nate knelt down in the dew-covered grass of the cemetery where his parents were buried. Muted light
poured over the two headstones in front of him, and his heart throbbed in pain. He fisted the dog tags
around his neck and swallowed a belly full of guilt as he stared at his mother’s name. There was so
much he needed to say to his parents, but all of it just sounded like bullshit when he played it out in
his head. No words were ever going to be enough.
It had taken him ten years to get here. Ten fucking years, and he’d only ended up at her gravesite on
a whim, after he’d stumbled out of his hotel room before the sun had even broken over the horizon. He
hadn’t slept at all, for fear that Lilly would witness one of his hellish nightmares. The last thing he
needed was her seeing firsthand exactly how fucked up he really was. So, when the glowing numbers
on the alarm clock had flashed five thirty, he’d climbed out of bed, not realizing his early-morning
walk would land him in the one place he was nowhere prepared to visit.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered to his father’s headstone. “I’m sorry I let you down.”
He tightened his jaw and pulled a weed that was growing next to his mother’s headstone. “Damn it.
I should have brought you flowers, Ma.” He tossed the weed away and grabbed the back of his neck.
“I’m sorry. You’d think that after ten years I’d start getting some of this shit right.”
She’d told him once that sometimes you had to lose your way to find the right path. Of course, she’d
also told him he was just like his father. At one time he’d believed that. He’d believed it enough to
give up civilian life to chase after his father’s dream. Or his ghost. Nate still wasn’t sure which had
driven him to enlist the first time around.
Either way, she was wrong. He was nowhere near the man his father had been. His father had been
a hero. Colonel Bradford Jennings had never run from a fight in his life. He’d met it head-on. It’s how
he had died, defending his men, fighting for what was right until the last ounce of life drained from his
veins.
And now here Nate was, ten long years after their deaths. Still running. From Lilly. From the storm
of emotions she was stirring up in him.
He swallowed another rush of self-recrimination. He should not have given in to her. To the
overwhelming temptation to touch her. To be with her. To pretend, for just a few precious moments,
that he could be a normal man and live a normal life with the woman he was falling for.
He’d known what would happen if he let himself give in. He’d known it would be hell leaving her
behind.
He had been very careful the past two years. Careful not to become attached to anyone or anything
he couldn’t in good conscience leave behind when the time came. Because he’d known all along that
day was coming.
Soon.
Too soon.
He blew out a breath and stood. How the fuck was he going to walk away from her now?
Because he still had to. What was he supposed to do? Ask her to wait for a man who might very
well come back in a pine box the way his father had? No way. Fuck that. He couldn’t do to someone
what had been done to his mother.
He turned at the sound of footsteps, and saw Lilly approaching him as one might approach a
wounded animal. Her gaze bounced between the two headstones before finally settling on him.
She wrapped her arms around her middle and a breeze whipped the stray hairs that had escaped her
ponytail into her face. “Nate?”
“What are you doing here?” His voice sounded broken, even to himself. He hated it. He hated her
seeing him like this.
“I thought you were leaving me there,” she admitted. “So I followed you.”
She could have slapped him and it would have hurt less. She’d thought he’d abandoned her in a
dumpy motel in a strange city—after they’d slept together?
He would never do that. He wanted to be pissed at her for even thinking it, for seeing him as that
kind of guy, but he couldn’t. Not when he’d never shown her anything else. In that moment, he wanted
to show her something different. He wanted her to see a man she didn’t regret sleeping with the night
before. He wanted her to see someone other than the asshole who had done nothing but hurt her over
the past year.
“I wouldn’t leave you,” he said. “Not like that.”
Lilly nodded, her eyes searching his face, looking for things he didn’t want her to find. She stepped
up beside him and inspected the headstones. “Who are they?”
“My parents,” he said.
Lilly dropped to her knees and pulled a few weeds that had grown around the graves. At seeing her
tending to them, no questions asked, something he’d never felt before flooded his chest. Something
warm and sweet and painful, all at once. He sank down beside her to help, and they worked together
in peaceful silence until every last weed had been removed. Afterward, she walked across the street
and came back with two bunches of wildflowers, and placed one at each headstone.
“Thank you,” he managed to get past the giant lump in his throat. “You didn’t have to do that.”
“My brother and I take turns,” she said, quietly. “Taking care of Mom’s.”
Nate watched her try to hide the pain etched on her face. She wasn’t pushing him like she normally
did. Instead, she was giving something of herself, from a place that brought back a pain all her own.
And she was doing it for him.
She was too good for him. She belonged with someone who could take that pain away, not add to it.
“How long has it been since you’ve visited them?” she asked.
“Ten years.”
She glanced up at him. “Why so long?”
Spouting some lame-ass excuse was something he couldn’t stomach right now, so he just said,
“History.”
“What kind?”
“The kind that reminds me what a bastard I am that I couldn’t be bothered to stick around when my
own mother was taking her last breath.”
Lilly picked a blade of grass between them. “Be glad you weren’t there to see it. You get to
remember her in a way she would have wanted. Alive. Healthy. Free.”
He slipped his hand over hers, lacing their fingers, and surprise lit her eyes.
“Is that how you remember your mom?” he asked.
A sheen of moisture glistened in Lilly’s eyes, but she quickly blinked it away. “No. My mom didn’t
care how anyone remembered her after she was gone. Inside, where it mattered…she’d been gone for
a long time before I ever found her in that tub.”
Jesus. She’d been the one to find her mother like that? What kind of a monster set her kid up for a
nightmare like that? A sick feeling swirled in Nate’s gut just envisioning Lilly having to deal with
such a horrific thing. Small and afraid. Devastated by loss. Terrified for her future.
He wanted to hurt someone for her making her go through that.
She tugged on his hand, and he realized he was squeezing hers too hard. He loosened his grip, but
refused to let her free. “What about your dad?” he asked.
She laughed, a lifetime of bitterness carried in the sound. “What about him? I’ve never really
known him. I know he owns a big company. Mom used to be his secretary, and was screwing him
behind his wife’s back. After she got pregnant with twins, I guess the affair lost its appeal. He paid
her off to keep us a secret. She tried to find another man to replace him, but it never worked out. He
was the only man she ever really wanted, but he didn’t want her back. In the end, Sawyer and I…we
just weren’t enough for her.”
Nate gritted his teeth, fighting the urge to wrap her in his arms, so they could both forget how
fucked up their lives had been. “Who took care of you and your brother? You said you were fifteen
when she died.”
She shrugged. “We took care of each other.”
And there, in a nutshell, was the difference between them. Lilly wasn’t someone who ran. She was
someone who stuck around. She was loyal and good and strong. And she was the most beautiful
fucking creature he’d ever laid eyes on.
He swallowed hard and released her hand to grip the dog tags around his neck. “Why are you here
right now, Lilly?” he asked. “After everything I did to you…why are you still sitting here with me?
You could be on a bus to Vermont right now.”
She gave him the strangest look. “Because…I want to be.”
“You shouldn’t,” he said, and turned away. “You shouldn’t want anything to do with me. You’re a
good person, Lil. I’m… I’m just not.”
“Why would you say that?”
He stood, the crushing pressure in his chest almost too much to bear. “Why? Because I’m the kind
of guy who leaves his kid brother to take care of his cancer-ridden mother when she’s dying. I’m the
kind of guy who doesn’t even come back for the funeral.”
“You were overseas,” she whispered, looking stricken. “You can’t blame yourself for that.”
“I can when I knew she was sick when I enlisted,” he admitted. “I overheard her talking to her
doctor on the phone. I knew, and I chose to leave. I didn’t just leave. I ran.”
Lilly slowly stood, concern and understanding and things he didn’t deserve shining from her eyes.
“You were a kid. You can’t blame yourself for a decision you made when you were a scared
eighteen-year-old kid, Nate.”
Sharp pain throbbed behind his temple, blurring his vision. She didn’t know the half of it.
Hale. Clemmons. Keller. Puckett. Rivera. Hanson. Lopez.
Fuck. He didn’t need the reminder. The truth lived in him every second of every day. He didn’t
need the scars or the pain. The memories of what he’d done and the people he’d failed never left him.
Not for a minute.
“That’s not enough?” She needed to see him for who he really was. She needed to hate him as much
as he hated himself for all the damage he’d caused. He stalked over and leaned down right in her
face. “Seven men are dead because of me, Lilly. Seven. Men. And I wasn’t a kid when it happened.”
He expected her to step back from him, but her feet remained planted to the spot. She blinked.
“What are you talking about? Your accident? The crash?”
“I was flying that helicopter. I was Search and Rescue,” he said. “It was my job to get them back
safe. But I didn’t—”
He slammed his eyes shut and swallowed the burning sensation in his throat as he took a step
backward and turned away. “I loaded them up, promised them safety, and then everything went
wrong. The investigators said it was mechanical, but I know I could have done something. I panicked.
I missed something. I fucked up. And now they’re all dead.”
Hale. Clemmons. Keller. Puckett. Rivera. Hanson. Lopez.
He hadn’t just brought that chopper down. He’d left them strewn across that field like rag dolls.
He’d jumped out and tried to pull his men to safety, but it had been an ambush. Shots had rained down
on them like shrapnel, and someone had pulled him out of the fire. Pulled him to safety and held him
down, before he could finish the job.
He grabbed his dog tags and tugged them hard enough that he felt the bite of the chain on the back of
his neck.
Lilly stepped forward, erasing the distance between them, and cupped his face in her hands. “Look
at me,” she whispered, her thumbs smoothing the lines on his face that lack of sleep had put there.
“Look at me.”
He opened his eyes and looked into the shining pools of green gazing back him. The warmth of her
hands seeped into his pores, soothing the pain. God, he was tired. Tired of living with this
overwhelming grief. Tired of fighting the want and the need to be with this woman standing before
him. He was just…tired.
“It’s not your fault,” she said. “Say it. Say it, even if you don’t believe it yet.”
He looked at her for a long moment, then said unconvincingly, “It’s not my fault.”
Total bullshit. He didn’t believe that for a minute.
But even as he doubted, he felt something deep inside start to stitch together. Under Lilly’s soft
touch…he finally began to heal.
Chapter Eleven
“Well, another pair of shoes bite the dust,” Lilly muttered wryly as they approached the house that
held so many memories for Nate it was busting at the seams. She pulled off one of her high heels and
shook the mud off. “Remind me to bring walking shoes the next time I take a road trip with you.”
He forced a laugh, and didn’t dwell on how good it felt to hear her talk about a next time. That was
a can of worms he did not need to open. He wasn’t going to be around for a next time. And he didn’t
have room for any new raw emotions right now. In that moment, standing at the steps to his childhood
home, he felt too full of them already. Emotions bubbled inside him fighting for space.
He stared up at the white two-story colonial where he and Jace had grown up.
“So, where are we?” Lilly asked.
“I used to live here,” he said. “When I was kid. Haven’t been back in a long time.”
She nodded. “Ten years. I remember.”
He found himself surprised by how good the place looked. He knew no one was living there. But
other than a few downed tree limbs from the storm, the place looked pristine. The roses his mother
had once so lovingly tended were in full bloom, and the shutters and lattices were freshly painted.
The yard was mowed. The windows clean. He’d expected a hollow, empty shell, but this place…
looked lived in. When Jace had said he didn’t want to sell the place, he hadn’t expected him to go to
these extremes to keep it preserved. He’d obviously hired a groundskeeper. It was a smart move, and
guilt crashed over him that Jace hadn’t felt comfortable enough to tell him about it. That Nate hadn’t
been man enough to step up and help.
“It’s beautiful,” Lilly murmured, drawing his attention to the woman beside him. Her hair was
pulled up in a loose ponytail, and she was wearing a simple navy dress that showed off her sun-
kissed skin. A pair of designer heels covered in mud dangled from her fingers, but she didn’t seem to
care. In fact, the entire walk here had been muddy and miserable, but she hadn’t complained once.
Instead, she’d held his hand. And cracked jokes to take the edge off a situation she must realize was
fraught with chaotic feelings for him.
Looking at her, he could almost forget where he was and what he was about to face. Almost. But he
had to stop running sometime, and it may as well be today. Jace might have pushed him into doing this
errand, but now that Nate was here, no way he could turn away.
“I have to go inside and get something. Wait out here. Okay?”
Knowing she’d likely argue, he didn’t wait for her to answer. Instead, he made his way up the
porch steps and pulled the key he’d never used before from his pocket. He only hesitated long enough
to take a deep breath, then stepped inside the house that smelled faintly of Pine-Sol and cedar.
One by one, the memories pulled him under. His mother playing the piano on Saturday afternoons in
the family room. His father’s boots sitting next to the staircase. He stopped in front of the staircase
and an ache bloomed in his chest. They were still there—the boots. He sank down onto the bottom
step and ran a trembling hand over his face, fighting for control. He rested his elbows on his knees
and hung his head between them, taking deep breaths.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered to the people who were no longer alive to hear it. “I should have
stayed.”
He should have stayed and cared for his mother. For Jace. That one crap decision had created a
domino effect that had decimated his world. If he’d never enlisted, would those men still be alive?
Would Jace have had an easier life?
Nate shook his head, not wanting the answers. Here he was, doing exactly what Jace had always
pushed for—facing his damn demons—and all he felt was an avalanche of guilt. Thinking about this
shit was not doing him any good. There was no closure to be found here. He wasn’t sure if it even
existed for someone like him. He’d come to accept the fact that there would always be gaping wounds
filled with regret inside him. He couldn’t change the past.
But…maybe he could change the way he lived his life going forward.
He touched the laces on his father’s boots and stood. He’d half expected Lilly to be there watching
him. But for once she’d actually done as he’d asked. He didn’t know if he felt relieved or
disappointed. He didn’t want her to see him like this…but Jace was right. Nate had to let someone in.
He wanted to let someone in. Wanted someone to see the real him and not just the hard, unfeeling
façade.
He could tell himself that what he had with Lilly was nothing more than sex…but he knew that
would be a damn lie. He knew, because he didn’t want to be in this house alone. He wanted to share
it with her—the bad and the good. She’d lost her mother, too. Gone through something no young girl
should ever have to go through. If anyone would understand him, it would be Lilly.
He looked at the front door, and something deep inside clicked into place. He may not be ready yet,
but being with her the night before, feeling her heart beat against his ribs as she slept…he desperately
wanted to be ready. To be there with her. Fully.
He took a deep breath and stepped out on the front porch to find her sitting on the bottom step. He
sank down beside her, the old wooden board creaking under his weight, reminding him of all the
times he’d sat in this very spot with his father.
“Did you get what you needed?” she asked.
Funny. He’d totally forgotten about the necklace.
“Not yet.” He tipped his head to look at her, the sun glinting off the gold strands framing her face.
One tendril, shorter than the rest, tickled her temple. “You actually listened to me for once.”
She nibbled her lip. “I figured you needed a minute. I get it.”
Nate swallowed down a lump of apprehension. This was new for him, letting someone this close,
wanting someone this close. And not just anyone. Lilly. Only her.
Which terrified him to the core.
He also knew he shouldn’t let her in. Shouldn’t give her hope. Or himself. He was leaving for a
tour that went way past the realm of dangerous. Doing a job that would only allow him to come home
for a year at a time at best. What kind of relationship could they have like that?
Maybe a normal couple might have a chance. But he was still a big pile of fuck-up, and after the
way he’d treated her this past year it would be a damn miracle if she ever fully trusted him again. He
felt like an utter fool for the hope unraveling inside him.
Instead of ending it, as he knew damn good and well he should, he heard himself say, “Will you
come inside with me?”
Her eyes softened, and she nodded. “Of course I will.”
He stood and pulled her up with him, almost dragging her up the stairs, and paused at the front
door.
Slipping his fingers through hers, he pulled her through the front door. Inside, he flicked a light
switch, but nothing happened. Damn. “Power must be out.” He left the door ajar to light their way to
the master bedroom.
She tugged him to a stop in the foyer to look at a few framed photos hanging on the wall. She smiled
and wiped away the dust from one.
“Is this you and your brother?”
He squinted at the old photo of him and Jace when they were kids. Jace was missing his two front
teeth and Nate was all gangly limbs and floppy hair. He smiled, remembering the day his mother had
taken it. “Yeah. That’s us.”
He followed her gaze to a family picture and his chest squeezed. It was the last one they’d had
taken, before his father died in combat. It had been so long since he’d really looked at it. He plucked
the frame off the wall and looked down at his mother’s smiling face. She looked so healthy. So alive.
The four of them standing together, like one strong unit, bound together by love. They looked
unbreakable. What the fuck had happened? How had it all been taken away so quickly?
“Jace said she stayed here at home until the end,” he said, not recognizing his own voice. “She
didn’t want him spending so much time in a hospital. She wanted him to still feel like a kid. He was
only seventeen when she died.”
Lilly touched Nate’s arm, and he flinched at the contact. She started to pull away, but he grabbed
her hand and held it in place. He might not know exactly what to do with that comfort, but he felt
instinctively he needed it.
“Sometimes, I wonder if she could have lasted longer, even beat the cancer, if I’d been here to
help. Maybe then she would have stayed in the hospital and gotten the treatment she needed.”
“No.” Lilly touched his chin and forced his gaze to meet hers. “You have to stop thinking like that.
Those kind of thoughts…they’ll eat you alive.”
“Can’t help it,” he murmured.
Her eyes glistened and she wiped them with the back of her wrist and looked away. “If you had any
idea how many times I thought like that as a kid—what if I’d walked a little faster coming home?
What if I’d have taken the time to see she was sad and broken and irreparable, and gotten her some
help instead of being pissed at her all of the time?”
Nate wiped a tear from her cheek and his heart thumped painfully in his chest. “Sweetheart, don’t.”
She shook her head and her teary gaze clashed with his. “It took me a long time, but I realized there
was nothing I could have done,” she said. “My mother went so long thinking the only way she could
be happy was with my father. But he never had any intention of being with her, or loving her, or
giving her the life she deserved. When she realized that…no one was going to stop her from doing
what she did. Just as no one, especially an eighteen-year-old kid, could have stopped that cancer from
taking your mother. Don’t tarnish your memories of her with regret, Nate. She deserves better than
that. You deserve better than that.”
Had he really hurt this amazing, wonderful woman? How could he have done that to her? And how
could he hurt her even more by leaving her again in a few days, abandoning her, just as both of her
shitty parents had done?
Fuck. He was in too deep with her. Way too deep.
Normally, this was the part where he’d run like hell…but…he just couldn’t do it.
He leaned in and kissed her softly. He knew this shit wasn’t easy to talk about, and he was guessing
she didn’t do it often. Her honesty gave him courage.
“Thank you,” he said.
She nodded, and he led her up the stairs, his heart beating against his ribs as he climbed each step.
He stopped outside his mother’s room and braced his hand on the doorframe. She’d died in this room.
Fuck. He was shaking like a damn coward.
Lilly touched his arm and he turned. “I need to get something from this room, for Jace,” he said. “I
don’t want— Can you…?”
“I’ll wait here.”
He nodded and breezed through the door, half expecting it to still smell like his mother. The fact
that time had robbed him of her special scent split his chest with disappointment. He quickly located
the jewelry box on the dresser, right where Jace had said it would be. The pretty wooden box had
blue doves carved on the lid. It had been a Christmas present from his father, handmade somewhere
on the other side of the world.
Nate grabbed the necklace from inside and strode from the room. He couldn’t linger here with the
walls closing in on him. Not yet. Maybe he could work up to it later.
Lilly straightened away from the banister where she’d been leaning and approached him slowly.
“You okay?”
He nodded and showed her the necklace. “Jace is going to give it to Hayden as a wedding gift.”
Her lips parted and her fingers caressed the gold chain and the small locket, and she smiled fondly.
“She’s going to love it. Your brother is a smart guy.”
Nate chuckled and rolled his eyes, carefully slipping the necklace into his pocket. “Please don’t tell
him that. I’ll never hear the end of it.”
“Oh, you have some good qualities, too, Mr. Jennings.” She smoothed her hands over his chest, and
to his surprise, desire sparked under her touch, drowning out the rest of his chaotic emotions. Giving
him a much-needed reprieve from the pain.
“Oh yeah?” He raised a brow, took her delicate hand in his, and held it against his heart. “Like
what?”
She blinked up at him and the air between them suddenly felt charged. Heated. That bone-deep
connection between them flared to life, making him crave the feel of her skin against his.
Her heartbeat sped against his. “You’re a good man, Nate Jennings. You’re a royal pain in the ass,
but you’re still a good man.”
His chest squeezed tight. He wanted so badly to believe her. “I don’t see it.”
She touched his face, traced his lips. “I do.”
His heart twisted painfully. God, he needed her. More than the air in his lungs. More than he
needed to get to this damn wedding. He needed her.
Now.
“I want to show you something,” he murmured.
“What?”
He leaned in close and whispered, “My room.”
He took her by the hand and led her down the hall, and held open the door for her. She walked in
and stopped next to his bed, glancing around with a nervous laugh.
“What?” He shut the door behind him and leaned against it.
“It’s just…very mature. Not what I expected.” She touched a model plane on his dresser and spun
the little propeller.
“And what did you expect?” he asked, coming up behind her and sliding his hands around her hips.
He rested his chin on her shoulder.
“I don’t know… Posters of Heidi Klum taped to your ceiling?” She inspected a picture of him and
his father fishing at the lake. He took the photo and placed it facedown on the dresser. No ghosts. Not
in here, and especially not right now. Right now, all he wanted was to lose himself in her and forget
everything else. Make her understand how sorry he was for hurting her.
“Jennifer Love Hewitt,” he corrected. “And my mom must have taken it down after I left.”
Lilly turned in his arms and looked up at him, amused. “So…you had a thing for brunettes, huh?”
He reached behind her and wrapped his fingers around her ponytail, giving it a tug to tilt her head
back. Oh, he was going to enjoy her hair like this.
She gasped as he leaned down to drag his lips up her throat. “I was young and foolish. Now I have
a thing for smart-mouthed blondes with a penchant for pissing me off.”
He felt her body tremble. “You do?” she whispered.
“I do.”
He lowered his lips to meet hers in a slow, languid kiss that left him wanting so fucking much more.
He took his time, tasting and savoring every whimper and moan that escaped her mouth. His hands
gripped her hips, probably too hard, but she wasn’t stopping him. If anything, she was urging him on,
rocking into him, searching for the contact that would take them both over the edge.
Damn it, he needed her. He needed the closeness, the connection, the comfort he found when his
skin was against hers. He knew this wasn’t a good idea. He was already on the edge, and he should
tell her he was leaving before things went too far.
But he couldn’t stop. Not when he knew she wanted him, too.
He backed her up to his old bed and pushed her down onto the mattress. “Smart-mouthed and
gorgeous.”
She gazed up at him and pulled her bottom lips between her teeth. “So, am I the first gorgeous,
smart-mouthed blonde you’ve ever had in this bed?”
He popped open his belt and unbuttoned his jeans. “You’re the first and only girl I’ve ever had in
this bed.”
She sat up, surprise in her gaze, putting her mouth level with his cock. He released a shaky breath
as she slid her palms up his thighs. “You never brought a girl home?”
“Never,” he said, and had to clear his throat. “Do you really want to talk about my old girlfriends
right now?”
Her gaze dropped to the erection straining against his unbuttoned jeans and she shook her head.
“Nope.”
She crawled up onto her knees and he met her halfway, kissing the breath out of her, pulling her
against his body, every part of him fitting perfectly against her.
This was the feeling he needed. This—the way she fit him like a damn puzzle piece. Like she
belonged here. She belonged with him, as part of him.
But he was leaving. And she was going to hate him when she found out.
Chapter Twelve
Nate lost count of the downed trees and power lines they passed on their walk back to town. Seeing
the storm damage firsthand made him thankful he’d gotten Lilly out of the elements last night. She
might have been traumatized by the sleazy motel room, but at least she’d been safe. Hell, he wasn’t
even a vegetarian and no way could he have fallen asleep with that damn dead deer staring down at
him. If they couldn’t get the truck back today, he had to find somewhere better for them to stay. He
wouldn’t subject her to that again.
He knew getting his truck repaired quickly was a long shot, but maybe if they camped out in the
garage’s waiting room, the guy would get his act in gear and they could make it to the wedding before
Jace and Hayden left for their honeymoon. He hated that he was missing out on the extra time he’d
wanted to spend with his brother. It had been the entire reason for his driving up three days early.
God knew he wasn’t going to get another chance anytime soon.
If ever.
“What’s going on?” Lilly asked as they approached the small auto shop. He released her hand and
strode forward, toward the chaotic sea of people gathering outside the volunteer fire station next
door.
“Looks like disaster relief,” he said, stopping her at the open garage door. A sight that was all too
familiar.
“Oh, my God. Do you think anyone got hurt in the storm?”
“I hope not,” he said. “Wait here.”
He jogged through the crowd, his search-and-rescue instincts kicking in. A few men were
attempting to manage the crowd, handing out bottles of water, blankets, and cleaning supplies. A crew
of weary firefighters who looked as if they’d been working through the night were offering medical
aid under a Red Cross tent.
“What’s going on?” he asked an older man with graying hair.
The man took off his baseball cap and wiped the sweat from his brow as he pointed down the
street. “Storm hit hard. That half of the town is without power. A few neighborhoods were flooded.”
He glanced at Nate’s dog tags. “You based at Quantico?”
“No, sir. Camp Lejeune. My father was based out of Quantico, though. I’m just in town visiting.”
“Greg.” He offered his hand and Nate gave it a firm shake.
“Nate Jennings.”
“Have time to give a hand, Nate?”
He glanced back at the entrance to see Lilly watching him, a proud little curve to her lips. She gave
him a nod, then turned and headed toward a group of women sorting donations.
Nate looked back at Greg. “Yes, sir. Put me to work.”
An hour later, Nate was drenched in sweat, hauling supplies off the third truck to come in, and
helping distribute everything from food and water to cleaning supplies. For the first time in ages, the
darkness had faded to a barely noticeable pulse in the back of his mind. Seeing so many people
helping one another, and knowing he was a part of it, hit him deep. This was something his father
would have been proud of him for.
They’d only endured one storm when he was a kid, but his father’d had their whole family on a
cleanup crew before the clouds had cleared. For so long, Nate had been lost and mired in his
mistakes, and he hadn’t taken time to do anything that really mattered.
Watching the Marines who had come in from the base to lend a hand reminded him of how much he
missed being part of a team. Existing for something bigger than himself.
Hungry for the sight of Lilly, he dropped the last box from the truck into waiting hands, and scanned
the crowd. When he spotted her, he halted in his tracks. She’d jumped in to help, too, and was
handing out drinks and snacks to the displaced families and the exhausted volunteers looking for a
cool drink and a spot of shade. She’d piled her hair on top of her head and threaded a pencil through
it to hold it in place. Dirt smudged her cheek. She’d never looked so beautiful.
Even amid all of the chaos, he couldn’t get over the need to kiss her. To touch her. He was
completely consumed and blinded by his need for her. He could still smell her all over him, hear her
cries of pleasure in his ears. Jesus, he’d never get enough of her.
He didn’t know what direction their relationship was headed, but he knew the thought of being
halfway across the world from her was nearly enough to bring him to his knees.
He watched her kneel down to a little girl and offer her a cookie, a smile lighting her up from the
inside. That smile…he could wake up for the rest of his life to that smile and be a happy man.
The thought shook him to the core. He didn’t deserve that kind of happiness. He didn’t even know if
he’d ever be healed enough to have a chance at it. But damned if he didn’t want it crazy bad.
Resisting Lilly when she hated his guts had been hard enough. Now that he’d seen the possibilities
between them, he didn’t have a chance in hell of staying away.
God, he needed to touch her.
He hopped down from the truck and came up behind her, sliding his hands over her hips. She
stiffened for a moment, but when he pressed his lips to the back of her neck she melted back against
him.
“I don’t think we’re offering what you’re looking for, sir,” she teased. “But I have cookies if you’re
interested.”
“Oh, I’m very interested in your cookies.”
She turned in his arms and grinned up at him, holding an oatmeal-raisin to his lips. “Your wish is
my command.”
He waggled his eyebrows. “Mmm. I’m starving.” He bit the cookie in half.
She rolled her eyes, laughing. “Animal.” She brushed a crumb from his lip with a finger and backed
out of his arms. “I talked to the mechanic. He said he won’t have the truck ready until morning.”
Nate puffed out a breath of frustration. “Well, if he didn’t hurry it up for you, I’m definitely not
going to get anywhere with him. I’ll call Jace. Explain the situation.”
She nodded and looked away, but not before he saw the disappointment in her eyes.
He touched her chin and turned her face to him. “We’ll make it there in time. Okay?” He couldn’t
stop himself from leaning down to taste her.
Her lips moved against his, soft and slow, making his blood heat and his chest pound. If they kept
this up, he was going to have a very embarrassing situation in front of God and half his hometown. He
groaned and pulled away, seeing the desire he was feeling reflected in her eyes. That was a comfort,
at least.
“Let me help these guys with one more truck,” he said, “then we can go find a better place to stay
for the night.”
She grinned. “You mean no more Hunter’s Delight?”
“I owe you at least one good night on this trip.”
He owed her more than that. He owed her a year’s worth of good nights, to make up for the ones
he’d ruined. If only he had more than two weeks to give her…
Chapter Thirteen
Lilly awoke suddenly, enveloped in darkness. She rubbed her eyes and blinked, allowing them to
adjust to the unfamiliar room. Oh, thank God. No deer head. After they’d finished up with the relief
effort, Nate had scoured the town until he found a quaint little bed-and-breakfast for them to stay at.
Not only were there no animal carcasses to contend with, there had been cute little shell chocolates
on the pillow and a breathtaking view of the canal that led to the sea outside the window. It was
perfect.
She could only hope that when they reached their destination the cease-fire between them would
continue. Because as much as she enjoyed pushing Nate’s buttons, she enjoyed this so much more.
Now that she’d seen the man behind the hard, closed-off façade, she’d never be able to go back to
looking at him as a coldhearted jerk. He wasn’t coldhearted. He was just…broken.
She knew she couldn’t be the one to put him back together. That was something he had to figure out
within himself. But she wanted to be there, helping him find the pieces, holding him together when he
couldn’t do it alone. She could only hope he’d let her.
Beside her, Nate tossed and turned. Moonlight seeped in through a crack between the drapes,
illuminating the hard line of his jaw as he slept. His limbs were twisted in the sheets and he fought
against them as if he were tied up with ropes.
It was the first time she’d seen a sign of life out of him since she’d gotten out of the shower and
found him asleep on the bed. It was the first time she’d actually seen him sleep. She’d quietly crawled
in next to him, hoping he’d stay out long enough to wipe away the exhaustion from his face.
“No…” His gruff voice split the silence, jolting her fully awake.
She sat up and squinted through the dark, watching his features twist with dread. “Nate?” she
whispered.
“I can’t… Fuck, we’re going down. God, no!” He groaned, and the sound slammed into her chest
like a wrecking ball. He was in pain. He was terrified. God, what was he seeing? Or worse,
reliving?
She scrambled to her knees and cupped the side of his face, and gently brushed the moisture from
his temple. “Nate,” she repeated, a shade louder, but not wanting to startle him. Her heart pounded
against her ribs. “Wake up, baby. Please wake up.”
“No, no, no!” A sob broke free from his chest.
Tears spilled down Lilly’s cheeks. In that moment, his pain was hers, and she would have done
anything to pull him from whatever hell he was experiencing.
“Nate.” She shook him firmly by the shoulders.
His hand shot out and grabbed her wrist. His eyes flew open, looking glassy and dazed. Relief
washed through her as they slowly cleared and focused on her face. A few of her curls slipped over
her shoulder and brushed his bare chest.
“Lilly…” His voice broke, and he loosened his grip on her wrist but didn’t let go.
“You were having a nightmare,” she said worriedly. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know what to do.”
He looked away, and tension filled his frame as he sat up, trying to pull away from her.
She grabbed his hand to stop him. “Please, don’t leave. Nate, talk to me.”
“I… I can’t.”
His shoulders shook, and he squeezed his eyes shut as if still seeing the horrific scene that had
plagued his sleep. He looked like he was falling apart.
Hold him together. Make him let you.
She pushed herself up on her knees and wrapped her arms around him from behind, pulling him
back against her body. He exhaled a shaky breath and grabbed her hands, holding them against his
chest. His heart beat a fast, steady rhythm against her open palm.
“Okay. Then don’t talk,” she murmured. “Just stay with me. Don’t run away.”
His thumb caressed her wrist, creating a delicious heat that spread across her skin like melted
honey. He turned in her arms, so close his breath teased her lips. He reached up with his free hand to
wipe a tear from her cheek. The way he was looking at her, his blue eyes burning with need, made her
knees weak. The way he was touching her…she felt as though she was falling.
Gone was the cool and collected Lilly she’d vowed to be during this trip. She’d never been further
from cool and collected in all her life. Raw desire was rushing through her, scorching all rational
thought from her brain. Again.
“Do you need something?” she asked softly.
Was that her breathy voice?
Her fingers trembled against his skin, afraid of what he might say. Surprisingly, even more afraid of
what he might not say.
His heated gaze dipped lower, lingering on her thin tank top before dropping down to her panties.
He groaned, and slid a hand up her thigh. “Yes.”
“What?”
His head fell forward and he shut his eyes, pressing his forehead against hers. “Too much. I need
too fucking much.”
His fingers stopped just before they reached the edge of her panties and dug into her skin, tense, as
if he was fighting for control.
She didn’t want him to have to fight anymore. She wanted to give him peace.
She slid her hands up his chest and he shuddered at her touch.
His gaze met hers, searching, conflicted, and, oh, so heated. She leaned forward, heart racing, and
pressed an openmouthed kiss to his chest. If he wasn’t ready to take what he needed, she’d give it to
him. His heart was pounding so fiercely she could feel it against her lips. She moved down and
kissed his stomach. His muscles tensed under her and he fisted the bedsheets. Looking up to find him
watching her raptly, she slid her hands up his thighs, thumbs brushing the rigid erection pressing
against his zipper. His eyes blazed with heat, passion, and raw need.
Slowly, she drew down his zipper and his erection sprang free. She rubbed her cheek against it
lovingly, before kissing the tip.
“Is this what you need?”
“God, yes.” He bucked forward and she swallowed him to the hilt. He hit the back of her throat and
she slid her mouth up, and back down, repeating the process over and over, loving the taste of him,
the feel of him coming apart because of her touch. She brought her tongue and teeth into play, and his
head fell back on a strangled moan. “Fuck, baby…you have to stop or I’m going to come.”
She sucked him harder, and his fingers threaded through her hair as he groaned, tugging her up to
meet his mouth. They lingered there, with only an inch separating them, looking into each other’s eyes.
“Tell me what you want, Nate.”
“You,” he whispered, voice cracking with emotion. “It’s always been you.”
He brought their lips together in a kiss so tender it felt like an apology, clutching her so desperately
against him, the air between them was lost. He’d touched her so many times, but never like this.
Never as though it would break him to let her go. So fast her head spun, he had her on her back, never
breaking the seal of their lips for even a second.
She poured everything she had into that kiss. Showing him the things she was too afraid to say out
loud.
She let him have control, knowing it was what he needed. His hands slid up her sides, taking her
tank top with them. He tossed it into the darkness. Planting his fists on either side of her head, he let
his gaze drift over her face, as if memorizing each individual feature.
“You’re so fucking beautiful, Lil,” he whispered. “So perfect.”
She reached out, and her fingers traced the scarred flesh that split his tattoo into pieces. She leaned
in and placed a gentle kiss to his damaged skin, and whispered, “So are you.”
He raised up on his palms and his lips captured hers in a desperate, hungry kiss that consumed her,
pulled her under, and broke her wide open. She clutched at his shoulders, digging her nails into his
skin, and he groaned into her mouth. The sound was a perfect vibration against her lips. Words
weren’t needed. She wanted this. Needed it.
Anything to soothe his wounds. Give him peace.
His hands moved over her desperately, igniting every cell in her body until they were screaming for
more. He straddled her hips and unsnapped her bra, tossing it somewhere behind him to join the tank
top. She shoved her hands up his chest and his head fell back on a moan as she explored hard dips
and ridges of his abdomen.
“Christ…I want you,” he breathed. “I want you more than I want my next breath.”
“Then take me.”
He rid himself of his clothes and stretched out over her, so that every inch of his body pressed
against hers, branding her in a way she’d never forget. He linked their fingers together, pinning her
hands to the bed, and slid inside her in one long, brutal stroke. She cried out, and he muffled the sound
with another scorching kiss. She was lost in the all-consuming, almost devastating way she needed
him. It wasn’t enough. She needed to be closer. She clutched at his ass and hauled him against her, the
move seeming to push him over the edge even further. They moved together in a frantic joining that
had nothing to do with technique and everything to do with connection. She was overcome with
emotion, with desire.
They melted together until she couldn’t tell where one feeling began and the other ended. There was
no keeping this separate anymore. No keeping her emotions out of it.
She loved him.
She loved him so much it hurt.
She arched up, needing him deeper. Needing him to tattoo her soul with this experience. He buried
his face in her neck and moaned as he brought her closer and closer to the edge. Grunting. Thrusting.
Driving.
“Nate…I need you,” she whimpered, wishing he knew just how much.
“Oh, God, baby,” he breathed, panting, pounding. “I need you, too. So much.”
She wrapped her legs around his waist and he rolled his hips, grinding against her. She tensed, and
her orgasm ripped through her in a hot, wet flash of intense pleasure. She cried out, and he pressed
his forehead to hers, groaning as he pulsed and throbbed, finding his own release.
Afterward, he collapsed on top of her, his heart pounding against hers. The sound of their labored
breathing echoed through the room. She smoothed her fingers through his hair and he buried his face
against her neck.
“I don’t want to hurt you, Lil,” he whispered against her sweat-slicked skin.
Her fingers paused and her heart nearly stopped. “Why do you think you’re going to hurt me?”
It took him a long time to answer, but at length he said, “Because I hurt everything I touch.”
Chapter Fourteen
Tell her.
Nate pushed away the thought and watched Lilly lie back across the picnic table at the scenic
overlook where they’d decided to stop and stretch their legs. Her blond hair spilled over the edge of
the table. Late-morning sunlight kissed her skin. She was so fucking beautiful it hurt to look at her.
And he was a total bastard for standing there enjoying the view when he still hadn’t had the balls to
tell her the truth. That he was leaving.
How the hell was he supposed to tell her when happiness and hope shone from her eyes every time
she looked at him? How was he supposed to tell her he was going to abandon her just as her shitty
parents had done?
He shook his head once and blinked away the exhaustion threatening to take over. He wouldn’t be
able to keep this up much longer. The past two nights were catching up with him. He needed sleep.
Last night he’d lain in the darkness for what seemed like an hour waiting for Lilly to drift off. When
he’d finally heard her deep, even breathing, he’d slipped out from under her arm and made his way
across the room to drop into a chair, then sat awake until the sun lit the window. As tired as he’d
been, he couldn’t allow her to see him like that again, caught in the throes of his terrible nightmares.
Couldn’t take the risk that he might somehow lose control and hurt her.
She’d seen him at his worst, and still…
She wanted him. Had cried for him. Had done everything she could to help heal him.
And he didn’t deserve any of it.
He scrubbed his hand over his face and fought the urge to throw something just to see it break…the
way he was breaking inside.
What was this woman doing to him?
He felt…overwhelmed. The thought of leaving her, of saying good-bye… God, he felt like he was
spinning out of control. It was too fucking much.
He wanted her so damn much. No, he more than wanted her…he cared about her. Really, soul-deep
cared. And for a moment last night, he’d actually let himself believe they could work. It was so easy
to see how she could fit into his life, how she actually wanted to be there. Even knowing how fucked
up he was, she loved him anyway. She hadn’t said it, but he could see it in her eyes. Feel it in the way
she touched him.
This wasn’t supposed to happen. She was supposed to hate him. She was supposed to see who he
really was, and run like hell in the other direction. Not this.
For a moment he let himself imagine what it could be like with her if they made a relationship
work. The letters she might send him when he was away overseas. Her smart mouth taunting him from
thousands of miles away, making him laugh. Pictures tucked between the pages, making him want.
How complete and perfect those homecomings would be. Having her in his bed, his home, in his
heart. He’d never had that. Never had someone he felt so desperate for. But, fuck…he wanted it. He
wanted it all.
He wasn’t supposed to want it. He was supposed to want escape.
He slashed a hand through his hair. Who the hell was he trying to fool? He couldn’t even sleep in
the same room with her without worrying he’d hurt her. Not when every dream was plagued with the
horrific images of the seven men he’d left behind. He’d never be able to give her what she needed.
What she deserved. And what if he didn’t make it back this time? What if that homecoming ended
with him in a pine box? What would that do to her? He couldn’t take that chance. Not with Lilly.
Once again, he’d selfishly chosen to live out a fantasy…and now she was going to get hurt all over
again.
He thought about the look in her eyes last night, so much understanding and compassion. How
would she look at him after she found out he was leaving? He knew how she would look. She’d look
betrayed, that’s how.
“I think I’m in love with Pennsylvania,” she said, holding her camera up to her eye and snapping a
picture of the puffs of white clouds meandering across the sky.
Nate took a moment to mask his emotions and walked over to brace his hands on the table on either
side of her head, blocking her view. “You’ve barely seen it. After spending the last two days in the
pouring rain, I think you’re more infatuated with the sun.”
She clicked a picture of his face and grinned. “Maybe I’m just infatuated with you.”
The smiled dropped off his face and he stepped back out of her line of sight, dread settling in his
gut.
Now. Now was the time to say it.
“Hey…what’s wrong?” Lilly was suddenly in front of him, concern shining from her eyes, camera
slung around her neck.
“I…”
She frowned. “Did you get any sleep at all after I went back to bed last night?”
“Yeah,” he lied. “I’m fine. We should probably get back on the road. Hayden will kick my ass if
we miss the rehearsal dinner tonight.”
She didn’t look like she believed him, but she didn’t push any more, either. She gave him a quick
kiss on the cheek and headed back to the truck.
Get to the wedding. That’s all he needed to focus on right now. He’d tell her tomorrow night after
the reception. Somehow, he’d find a way to say good-bye.
Chapter Fifteen
“Oh, my God…I thought they were having this wedding at a bed-and-breakfast,” Lilly said in awe as
she leaned forward to get a good look at the sprawling property and towering nineteenth-century
mansion in front of them. “This is amazing. I can’t even imagine what it’s going to look like in the
daylight.”
A catering truck was parked around the side of the estate house and music drifted up on a breeze
from the back veranda. She checked the clock. They’d actually made it in time for the rehearsal
dinner. Thank God.
Nate turned off the ignition, his gaze fixed on the steering wheel. Silent. The same way he’d been
for the past eight hours. At one point in their relationship she would have welcomed that silence, but
now it was unnerving. She’d thought that after the way they connected last night they’d be on solid
ground, but she’d never felt more uncertain.
She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth and her heart hammered out a nervous rhythm.
Suddenly, she didn’t want to get out of the truck. She wasn’t ready for the fragile bond between them
to break. Something wasn’t right.
“Nate…”
“We’re going to be late,” he said abruptly.
Before she could respond, he was out of the truck and pulling their bags from the back. She blinked
back tears, focusing on the beautiful garden lanterns that blinked from the trees surrounding the
Summer Valley Bed and Breakfast. It had been a hard trip and he hadn’t gotten much sleep. That’s all
this was. Right?
She chanced a glance at him in the rearview mirror. The hard, distant look in his eyes held none of
the tenderness from the day before. He’d put the wall back up. She wanted to scream and rail and
break it back down. But he wouldn’t even look at her.
She shut her eyes, hating the desperate feeling constricting her chest. It was too familiar. And she
refused to succumb to it.
Unable to sit still another moment, she grabbed her camera from the seat and slung it around her
neck, thankful they’d stopped at a fast-food place to change before arriving. She couldn’t look at him
right now. Not when she didn’t know where they stood.
She climbed out of the truck and took a moment to smooth her hands over the simple black pencil
skirt and silky white button-down blouse she’d chosen for the rehearsal. It was simple and
professional, without being too overdressed. She slipped on her black pumps, took a deep breath to
calm herself, and rounded the truck.
Nate grabbed the last of the bags and hesitated, his gaze wandering over every dip and curve of her
body. Just when she thought he’d walk way without a word, he dropped the bags in his hands and
backed her up against the side of the truck.
“You look good, Princess,” he said, voice gruff.
She blinked up at him. “Thanks. You don’t look so bad yourself.”
She smoothed her hands over his dress shirt and rested them on his abdomen. He lowered his face
and pressed his lips to hers in a hard, hungry kiss that ended too soon. When she started to pull at his
buttons, he removed her hands and backed away, a sad smile on his face.
“Good luck tonight.” With that, he grabbed their bags and disappeared inside the inn, leaving her
alone and confused in the dark.
Focus, Lilly. Just focus on the job. You don’t have time for this. Hayden needs you.
She adjusted her camera strap around her neck and followed the lights and music into the picture-
perfect white barn that stood tall and beautiful behind the bed-and-breakfast. Twinkle lights were
strewn from the rafters and soft candlelight glowed from the picnic tables and the rustic bar. About
twenty-five of Hayden’s and Jace’s closest friends and family were scattered about, chatting and
clinking glasses of champagne, looking just as polished as the venue. It was all too perfect for words.
A server passed by with a platter of mini crab cakes and she followed after him to snap a pic.
“You do know the food is for eating, right?”
Lilly smiled at the sound of Hayden’s voice behind her, and spun around to embrace her friend in a
big hug. She pulled away to inspect the photo-perfect bride-to-be. In a summery blue-and-white floral
dress and yellow pumps, Hayden looked every bit as bright and beautiful as the fairy-tale wedding
she’d created here. “You have no idea how much I’ve missed you,” Lilly said.
“I’ve missed you too.” Hayden smiled, checking over Lilly’s shoulder, searching. “So…where is
my future brother-in-law? Should we be checking the back roads of New York for his body?”
Lilly rolled her eyes, but she also wondered when Nate was going to join the party. The insecure
part of her brain said he was avoiding her. Or possibly jumped ship and hightailed it back to North
Carolina to escape her. But she quickly bitch-slapped the negativity back into the dark hole it had
crawled out of. This was his brother’s wedding. He wouldn’t do that. Besides, she and Nate had been
together nonstop for the past two days. She just needed to give him some space. He’d get there when
he got there.
“No. I spared him. You can tell Jace he owes me a drink for that. On second thought, make that five
drinks.”
Hayden grinned and grabbed her arm. “Well, now that we know we don’t need to file a missing
persons report, come on. I want to show you something.”
Lilly followed her out across the damp grass behind the inn to a path that took them through a
densely wooded area. Somewhere close by she could hear water rushing through the dark. Finally she
spotted an old wooden bridge that stretched across white water crashing over stones. Even in the dark
she could see its charm. The potential that hid between every board and every shadow that the willow
trees on either side provided. Twinkle lights that matched the kind in the barn were woven between
the rails of the bridge, casting a sparkling glow out onto the flowing creek below. Hayden spun a
circle in the middle of the bridge and held her hands out.
“What do you think? They usually do weddings at the gazebo, but when I saw this…it’s just so
beautiful. It just feels right.”
“I think it’s perfect.” Knowing Hayden, she’d seen this bridge on location, taken one perfect shot,
and had built her entire wedding around it. She ran her hand along the railing and smiled. “The
wedding is going to be beautiful. We’ll be able to get some great shots out here of the wedding party.
But you knew that already.”
Hayden nodded. “As long as the weather holds out.”
“It will. Nothing is going to ruin your day.”
Lilly lifted her camera to flash a picture of the bride-to-be on the dark, empty bridge, but paused
when she spotted her expression through the lens. Hayden sighed and folded her arms across her
chest, taking in the surroundings. She looked nervous. Which made Lilly nervous. She lowered her
camera. “What’s wrong?”
Hayden looked over at her. “Let’s hope everything is perfect. Because the shots you take are going
to be featured in New York Bridal Magazine.”
Lilly froze. “What?”
Hayden hopped up to sit on the railing, her eyes glittering with excitement. “Apparently they are
doing a feature on career-driven women’s weddings and they picked mine to be in it,” she said. “I
told them I had already booked the best wedding photographer on the east coast, and they were
intrigued. I sent them your portfolio and they think your work is brilliant.”
Lilly floundered for words, but came up empty. Was this real? It couldn’t be. Nothing ever went
this smoothly in her life. Nothing ever came this easily.
She blinked back tears and pressed her hand to her suddenly jittery stomach. “Are you serious?”
Hayden’s brows pulled together, concern shining in her eyes as she hopped down and met Lilly
halfway. “Of course I am. You’re one of the most talented people I’ve ever met, Lil. I wouldn’t have
done it if I didn’t think you deserved it. You do. You deserve to be happy and successful.”
Lilly threw her arms around her friend’s neck, the weight of the past two days crushing into her.
Emotions swirled around inside, filling her with a confusing mixture of hope and uncertainty.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” Hayden pulled back to look her in the eyes. “I thought you’d be thrilled.”
Lilly wiped her eyes and looked away. “I am. This is amazing, and you are amazing. Thank you so
much, Hayden. I swear, I won’t let you down.”
Hayden studied her for a moment and she squirmed under her stare until her friend finally said, “It’s
Nate, isn’t it.” It wasn’t a question. More of an observation, and there was no way that Lilly could
deny it. Especially when Hayden saw them in the same room.
Lilly had gone and done the one thing she’d sworn to herself she would never do—she’d fallen for
him. And now she was spiraling out of control, not knowing up from down.
This was supposed to feel good, feel life-changing, but all she felt was terrified. Terrified that
she’d invested so much of herself in someone who might just walk away. Because he’d done it
before.
“Tell me.”
Lilly choked back the feeling that had been suffocating her for eight hours on the road, and her eyes
misted over. “It’s your wedding weekend. I’m not letting my drama ruin your day.”
Hayden sighed. “All I’ve talked about for a week is this wedding. Trust me when I say, as long as it
has absolutely nothing to do with flowers or place settings, I want to hear it. Nothing you have to say
could ruin the fact that I’m marrying my best friend tomorrow. Now spill.”
Lilly twisted the silky fabric of her blouse in her hands. “I slept with him. More than once.”
Hayden surprised her with a grin. “I figured you might.”
Lilly glared at her in outrage. “You did this on purpose, didn’t you? Forced us together to see if
something would happen.”
Hayden threw her hands up. “Is it so wrong for me to want you both to be happy? We all knew you
two would be great together. It just took a little nudge to get you guys to realize it, too.”
“And what if we’d killed each other instead?”
“Oh, please. We both know you were more in danger of losing your favorite pair of panties than
you two harming each other. I’ve see the way you look at each other,” she said. “So, does this mean
you’re together now?”
That was the question of the day, wasn’t it?
After everything they had been through the past year, did Lilly even want that with Nate?
Yes. She did.
And now that she had him, she couldn’t imagine going back to a life of hating him. She wanted to
trust him so badly, but he was making it hard.
“I don’t know,” she finally said. “I hope so. I honestly don’t know what he wants. I do know he’s
hurting, and I want him to be happy…whatever that means for us.”
“You love him.”
That wasn’t a question, either. Her feelings were obvious—to everyone except the man on the
receiving end of that loaded emotion. Despite her best effort, a tear spilled over and slid down her
cheek. Damn it. “Yes. I love him.”
Hayden grabbed her hand and beamed, her eyes glistening. “I’m happy for you, Lil. So happy. For
both of you. Maybe this is exactly what he needs to finally pull his head out of his ass.”
Lilly chuckled, wiping her eyes. “I don’t know. I think it might be shoved up there pretty deep.
Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.”
They both laughed, and Lilly thought about the gift she’d brought for Hayden. She was so lucky to
have a friend like her in her life. It wasn’t often Lilly let people in, and even more rare for them to
feel like family, but Hayden definitely fit into that category. She couldn’t imagine what she would do
without her.
“I brought you a present,” she said. “After everything you’ve done for me, I’d really like to give it
to you early.”
“Are you kidding?” Hayden bounced up and grabbed Lilly’s hand. “I would love that.”
Lilly led them to the truck where she’d left the package, thankful that Nate hadn’t locked the doors.
She reached onto the back bench for the present wrapped in silver paper with a blue bow, and handed
it to Hayden.
Her friend eagerly tore open the wrapping paper, revealing the book inside. Wide-eyed, she lifted
the cover and gingerly touched the pages filled with photo after photo of Hayden and Jace. Some
were the posed engagement photos they’d hired Lilly to do. The rest were candids that dated back to
when they were just two friends who couldn’t see what was right in front of them.
Hayden brought her hand to her mouth and moisture flooded her eyes. “Oh my God…”
Lilly smiled. “I know what love is, Hayden. I know what it is, because I see it every time I look at
the two of you. I’m so happy for you, babe.”
Hayden looked back down at the book and a smile touched her lips. “You’re going to have it, too,
Lil. Just wait.”
Chapter Sixteen
Empty.
Nate sank down onto a white rocking chair on the front porch of the bed-and-breakfast and tipped a
bottle of Jack up, opening his throat to let the bitter liquid slide down. He lowered the bottle to his
chest and coughed. That shit burned.
He was going to regret this tomorrow. But not right now. Right now, he was going to put a fucking
lid on all the shit that had been building up inside his head for the past two days.
The chair beside him creaked, and he looked over to find Jace watching him. His brother’s blue
dress shirt was untucked and the sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, showing off his ink. Nate was
guessing Hayden had gotten him into a tie at one point in the evening, but most likely Jace had ditched
it after the first half hour of feeling like he was being choked.
His brother held up a bottle of water and nodded to the Jack. “Want to trade?”
Nate handed him the bottle and Jace took it and set it down on the porch beside him, out of Nate’s
reach.
Nate grabbed the water and scowled at it. “Sorry I missed the rehearsal,” he said. “I just… Fuck.
I’m sorry.”
Damn it. He pinched the bridge of his nose and his head throbbed. Was he ever going to stop
fucking things up?
“What are you doing out here getting piss-drunk on these people’s front porch?” Jace asked, his
brows raised in amusement. “You realize there’s a party going on right over there?” He motioned to
the decked-out barn where music hummed from the open doors and people milled around outside
laughing.
“Fuck you,” Nate said. “What are you doing out here? Shouldn’t you be in there with your bride?”
“She’s been hijacked. She dragged Lilly off a little while ago. Thought I’d come see who was
holding you hostage.”
“You know I don’t like crowds.”
“I know.” Jace leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees, and glanced over at the bottle he’d
just taken from Nate. “I’m guessing it was a rough trip? You look like you haven’t slept in days.”
Nate shook his head. “You have no idea.”
Rough trip? More like a complete mind fuck. Nate leaned back in the rocking chair, accepting the
dizzy, numbing sensation flowing through his veins. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the
gold chain and locket that had been their mother’s, and handed it to Jace.
His brother studied the piece of jewelry with a wistful smile. “Thank you for this. I know it wasn’t
easy for you to go back. I probably shouldn’t have asked.”
“It was time.” Nate shrugged. “Besides, I didn’t have to do it alone.”
Jace nodded. “Speaking of…are you going to tell me what’s going on with her?”
How was he supposed to explain it, when he didn’t even know what the hell to think? The past two
days had felt like a damn tornado, spinning him around, twisting him, until he didn’t know if he was
coming or going. Everything he’d thought he’d needed and wanted had been turned upside down. He
scrubbed his fingers through his hair and shuddered as the memory of Lilly’s nails against his scalp
pulled him back under. Fuck. He couldn’t imagine never taking her again. Never making her laugh.
Never pissing her off, or making her smile. Being with her the past two days had been the single most
satisfying experience he’d ever had.
And now what? He was supposed to just walk away?
“I fucked up,” he choked out.
“Elaborate.”
Damn it to hell. He’d wanted to wait until after the wedding to do this. He didn’t want a cloud
hanging over his brother’s wedding day. But it had to be now. He couldn’t risk him finding out from
someone else. Nate owed him more than that. He owed him everything.
He sucked in a deep breath and sighed. “I’m leaving.”
Jace stopped rocking and gave him his full attention. “Excuse me?”
“I’ve been recommissioned. Paperwork came through last week. I’m shipping out in two weeks.”
“Shit…” Jace shook his head, staring at him in consternation. “Where?”
“I don’t know.”
“All right. Then, why?”
Nate didn’t even know anymore. When he’d signed the papers, he’d truly thought there was nothing
left for him in civilian life. All he could think about was getting his ass back in combat where he
belonged. Saving lives. Making up for the ones he’d lost.
He still wanted that. Needed it. But the idea of leaving Lilly behind made him feel like he was
collapsing on the inside. Would she forgive him? Would she wait for him? He didn’t deserve it, that
much he was sure of. He had so much shit to make up for with her, he didn’t know where to start.
“You know why,” he finally said.
“No. I don’t. How could I, when you don’t tell me anything anymore?” Jace sounded pissed. Nate
didn’t blame him. “All I know is you still carry around a misplaced case of survivor’s guilt. I know
you think you should have died out there with those other men. That you don’t deserve the breath in
your lungs. And I know that if you do this, you’re going to come back in a fucking box, just like Dad.”
There was genuine torment in his brother’s eyes.
Nate grabbed the dog tags around his neck to feel the cold metal bite into his palm. He gritted his
teeth. “You don’t understand…I have to do this.”
“You’re damn right, I don’t understand. Why would you risk your life again like this?”
“Because I’m fucking dying inside! I can’t keep slinging drinks at the bar and pretending that I’m
fine. I can’t bury the guilt anymore. And I can’t keep pissing away this second chance at a life that I
got and seven other men didn’t.”
He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to stop the porch from spinning around him. Fuck, that Jack was
hitting him hard. But even the liquor flowing through him didn’t help with the pain. It was too sharp.
Etched into his heart. He didn’t even remember what it felt like to live without that pain anymore.
“Damn it, Nate. Why didn’t you talk to me? Let me help.”
“Because you can’t fix this,” he said. “I know it’s in the past, and I know I can’t change what
happened. But I have a chance to get it right this time. If I don’t do this… Fuck, man. I want to get
better. I’m trying to get better. I don’t want this shit to own me for the rest of my life. I can’t live like
that. If I go back…maybe it will be what I need to heal.”
Jace pushed up from the rocking chair and paced across the deck, bracing his hands on the rail.
“How do you know doing this won’t just make it worse?”
“I don’t,” Nate said.
Jace stared silently into the night, watching people walk in and out of the party. Nate didn’t say
anything, either. What was there to say? He’d made his decision.
Had it been the right one? He didn’t know anymore. He hadn’t made a right decision in so long, he
wouldn’t know one if it bit him in the ass.
“You’re going to be an uncle,” Jace finally said.
Nate’s gaze snapped up and shock nearly stole his voice. “What?”
Jace turned around and gave him a strained smile. “Hayden’s pregnant. Three months along. We
weren’t planning it…but then again, I guess we weren’t really trying that hard to prevent it.”
Nate felt a rush of joy through his heart. He stood and grabbed his brother by the shoulders, reeling
him in for a hug. “I don’t know if I should be hugging you or punching you in the face for knocking up
the girl who’s been like a little sister to me for most of my life.”
Jace laughed, finally relaxing. “Let’s go with the first one.”
“Congratulations, man. You’re going to make a great dad.”
Jace looked uncertain. “You think?”
“I know.”
“I’m going to need you around, brother,” he said. “You’re my family, Nate. You and Hayden and
this baby. That’s it. Don’t you dare put me through another death. Don’t rob my kid of an uncle, when
he’s already been robbed of two grandparents.”
Raw emotions clawed at Nate’s throat, and his eyes burned. Jace was right. He didn’t deserve to
bury a brother. And that was exactly what was going to happen if Nate didn’t get his shit together. He
could deny it until he was blue in the face, but it was true.
“I won’t,” he said. And this time, he meant it. He had too much to live for.
Jace nodded, and some of the tension rolled away from his shoulders. His gaze moved to two
women walking across the grass toward the party. Lilly and Hayden.
The corner of Jace’s lips lifted in a crooked smile. “Looks like our girls are done with their
impromptu bachelorette party.”
“You should get back to your beautiful bride,” Nate said, and grabbed onto the porch railing for
balance, fighting the urge to go inside and climb the stairs right up to Lilly’s bed to wait for her. If he
were honest, that was the only place he wanted to be right now. The thought of curling up in cold,
strange sheets, alone, after this hellish day, made his stomach churn. He’d spent the entire day pushing
her way, trying to put some distance between them before he crushed them both. He’d seen the
confusion and hurt in her eyes when he’d walked away from her tonight. Was he actually going to be
able to walk away from her forever?
“What about Lilly?”
“What about her?”
Jace laughed. “Don’t bullshit me. You care about her.”
Yeah. He did.
Nate more than cared. He fucking loved her.
He stumbled back as the realization rolled over him like a ton of bricks.
He loved her.
And he couldn’t imagine a life going forward that didn’t include Lilly Grayson in it.
Nate knew he wasn’t perfect, but he wanted to be a better man for her. The kind of man she
deserved. For the first time in his life, he actually felt like that was possible.
He was still leaving. There was no going back on that, but if he explained, maybe she’d wait for
him. Be there when he came home, ready to give them a real shot.
He shook his head, trying to dislodge the hope he was feeling from taking root. It was no use. Why
would she want to? Not after the way he’d treated her.
“It doesn’t matter if I do care about her,” he said. “I’m no good for her.”
“You know… Nobody is asking you to forget your past, bro.” Jace grasped Nate’s shoulder and
gently squeezed. “We’re just asking you to give yourself a chance for a happy future. To let yourself
heal instead of drowning in guilt. Whether you want to believe it or not, you deserve happiness. You
deserve Lilly.”
Chapter Seventeen
Lilly stepped across the threshold of the carriage house behind the inn, thankful for a reprieve from
the whirlwind of action that the rehearsal dinner had been. It was past midnight and most of the group
had retired to their rooms for the evening, including the bride and groom. As exhausted as she was,
Lilly couldn’t find it within herself to go back to the bed-and-breakfast just yet. Not when Nate’s
room was right next door to hers.
He’d actually missed the rehearsal dinner. She didn’t even know what to make of that, but it had
cemented what she’d already suspected. Something was very wrong.
She cast off the cloud of uncertainty that had been hovering over her the entire night, and pointed
her camera at the open slats of the carriage house where stars peeked through the beams. She’d have
to come back for more shots in the morning when there was light. She wasn’t sure what kind of shots
they would want for the magazine, but it would be a crime not to capture every piece of this
breathtaking property.
It didn’t hurt that she’d finally found a place to be alone. She wasn’t sure how much more she could
have taken of Hayden planning out their futures—as if Nate had already put a ring on Lilly’s finger. At
this point she wasn’t even sure he wanted to speak to her, let alone have a lasting relationship.
She took in the rest of the space through her lens, appreciating the simple beauty of the stacked hay
bales and the antique-looking horse carriage. She spotted a ladder that led up to a loft and pulled off
her heels to investigate. Draping her camera around her neck, she stepped up onto the ladder, and
grabbed on to steady herself. She wasn’t a fan of heights, but her curiosity had won out. She climbed
a few more steps and—
“Lilly?”
Her heart suffered a jolt of surprise—and an unbidden prick of hurt—at the sound of Nate’s voice
behind her. She turned too fast, and her foot slipped off the narrow rung.
“Oh!”
She grabbed the ladder and felt it tip underneath her.
Oh, crap.
She squeezed her eyes shut and screamed, bracing for impact.
Nate’s outstretched arms caught her and he stumbled backward. It took a moment for her to realize
the world had stopped moving. She peeled open her eyes and found him staring down at her. He
pushed off the ladder, and it clattered to the ground beside them.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
She pulled out of his embrace, the anger that had been building for hours finally snapping free.
“You scared the crap out of me.”
He raked his fingers through his hair. “Sorry.”
She rubbed her ankle where she’d probably have a bruise tomorrow. Great.
“What happened to you tonight?” she demanded. “You just disappeared.”
“I know…” He stopped himself, and sighed. “I know.”
She took a few steps back to put some distance between them, and his gaze followed her
movements like that damn lion watching its prey.
“Did you need something?” she asked, rubbing her forehead. “I’m trying to get a game plan together
for tomorrow.” She fidgeted and played with the strap of her camera.
His jaw ticked and he took a deep breath, his gaze torn between her and the exit.
“We need to talk,” he said.
Famous last words.
Lilly swallowed the disappointment leaving a nasty taste in her mouth and straightened her spine.
She would not cry over this man. She would not waste another second on a man who didn’t want her
back.
“If you don’t want me, just say it, already,” she snapped.
He narrowed his gaze on her. “What?”
“That’s what today was about, right?” She laughed bitterly. “The minute we crossed the Vermont
state line, you checked out.”
“You have no idea what you’re talking about,” he said, voice low and dangerous.
“I don’t?” she scoffed. “Clearly, you’ve forgotten that we’ve been here before, Nate. The minute
things get too deep, you check out. It’s what you do.”
He scowled and strode forward, pushing her back until she landed against a wall. His lips slammed
over hers in a possessive, all-consuming kiss that she felt all the way to the tips of her toes. He
plunged his fingers into her hair and erased the space between them as he rolled his rock-hard
erection against her belly. He broke away from her lips and dropped his forehead to rest against hers.
A long breath shuddered out of him.
“Does that feel like I don’t want you, Princess?”
Her eyes fluttered closed and an unwilling moan escaped her lips when he thrust forward, rubbing,
teasing her with his hardness, when she wanted it all.
“Nate…wait…”
“Does it feel like I’m checked out now?”
She shook her head, getting lost in the escalating sensations he was creating between her legs every
time he ground his cock against her. Oh, God…if he didn’t stop, she was going to come.
“Jesus…you weren’t supposed to be like this,” he ground out between gritted teeth. “It wasn’t
supposed to be this hard to—”
Before she could ask him what he was talking about, he grabbed her blouse and jerked it apart.
Pearl buttons scattered on the ground and cool air touched her partially exposed chest. He cupped her
breasts through the lace of her bra and she arched into his hands. He groaned, and his mouth came
down on hers with an urgency that spiked her need to fever pitch.
“You have no idea how much I want you. How fucking addicted I am to you,” he rasped.
She reached up to loop her hands around his neck, hating the way her skirt restricted the movement
of his hips. As if he sensed her frustration, he slid his hands up her thighs, pushing it up, forcing the
tight fabric to bunch around her hips. Once the barrier was gone, he slammed against her and she
cried out, reaching between them to grasp his zipper and slide it down.
“Are you wet for me?” he breathed, shoving his jeans to his knees.
Her gaze dropped to where he was holding his cock in his hand, stroking, waiting. She licked her
lips. “Find out.”
He lifted her in one swift move, pinning her to the wall with his hips to hold her in place. She
expected him to slam into her, but he hesitated, rubbing the head against her clit, making her crazy.
She clutched two handfuls of his hair and squirmed, moving forward to force him inside.
“Nate…I need you,” she pleaded. “Make love to me. Please.”
He froze, breathing hard, and…he pulled away. He dropped her to her feet and took two big steps
back.
She blinked in surprise as she watched him tuck himself back into his jeans, wincing.
“What’s going on?” When he didn’t answer, fear began to douse her desire. “Nate?”
He stopped pacing and dropped to his knees in front of her, shaking.
“Nate?” she repeated.
“I’m sorry,” he murmured. “I’m so sorry, Lil. I didn’t want to hurt you. That’s why I fought so long
and hard against this.”
Ah, hell. He was going to dump her again. She could feel it. She’d been abandoned enough times in
her life to know the signs. She blinked up at the ceiling, fighting back tears as he brushed a kiss over
her stomach.
“I knew I’d hurt you. I knew I’d fuck this up.”
“Just say it,” she whispered. End it. Get it over with. She didn’t need the pain prolonged.
His shoulders tensed and he gripped her thighs as if he were holding on for dear life.
“I want to be rid of this fucking grief, and the guilt that’s eating me alive. I want it so bad…”
The pain in his voice cut her bone-deep. She wanted to take that pain away, extinguish it, but she
was starting to think that wasn’t possible. Nate was so broken inside, so hurt… Getting a glimpse of
the anguish he’d been living with made her want to cry.
Would he ever get past this? Would he ever be able to give them a real chance?
“I’m a selfish bastard,” he said. “If I were a decent man I’d walk away from you.”
“Why would you say that? You are a decent man. Do you hear me?”
He searched her eyes and a grimace passed over his face. “You’re wrong. If I were decent, I would
have told you the truth three days ago.”
Fear flooded her, and her heart skipped a beat. “What are you talking about?”
Regret filled his expression. “I’m leaving, Lil.”
She scrambled away from him and jerked the ruined sides of her top together. “You’re…what?
Leaving before the wedding?”
His jaw tightened. “No. I’m leaving the country. I’ve been recommissioned. I deploy in two
weeks.”
The world fell out from under her. He’d known this whole time that he was leaving, and he hadn’t
told her?
Pain exploded in her chest as reality hit her hard. He hadn’t told her because he’d never really
wanted her. Had the past year taught her nothing? Once again, she’d allowed herself to become a
distraction for him. An amusement to fill the time until he had something better to do.
Anguish decimated her insides. She wanted to scream. She wanted to cry. She wanted to hate Nate
Jennings for turning her into the one person she swore she’d never become.
But she couldn’t. She couldn’t hate him…not when she loved him so damn much.
“You never wanted me for anything more than sex, did you?” Her voice broke. “What was I? Just a
way to pass the time? One last fuck for the road?”
“God, no!” He shot to his feet, pulling her into his arms, forcing her into his embrace. He exhaled
against her hair. “You mean everything to me. But if I stay with you now, Lil…I’ll ruin you. I’m so
fucking broken inside. You deserve so much better than me. Can’t you see that? Can’t you see how
fucking good you are?”
She choked back a sob and held him close. She couldn’t help him. She couldn’t save him. He
wasn’t even going to give her a chance to try.
“All of those things I said to you last year…all of the times I pushed you away…I wasn’t trying to
hurt you, Lilly. I was trying to save you.”
“From what?”
He exhaled, and moved a hand up to caress her face. Her lips. He finally took a deep breath and
rested his forehead against hers.
“From me,” he whispered. “I was trying to save you from me.”
She swallowed the painful lump in her throat and tears blurred her eyes. She couldn’t do this
anymore. He was right. She had to walk away before he broke her, too. She pushed him away and he
fell back to his knees, looking up at her with so much pain in his eyes she had to force herself to keep
walking. She wiped a tear away from her cheek and looked at him one last time.
“You win. Good-bye, Nate.”
Chapter Eighteen
Lilly focused the lens of her camera on Hayden as the beautiful bride put the final touches on her hair
and makeup. The train of her ivory dress was spread around her on the floor, making it appear as if
she were floating on a cloud of silk. Lilly wandered around the room, mindlessly snapping pre-
wedding shots until she had to replace her memory card. It was good to have something to do. To
keep her from breaking down.
Her heart still ached over what had happened with Nate the night before. She would have given
anything for a chance to prove him wrong. For a chance to stay by his side. But he was hell-bent on
being alone. Her heart shattered all over again, thinking about the pain in his eyes and the regret in his
voice as he’d delivered the deathblow to their relationship. She still couldn’t get his words out of her
head.
He’s said he wanted to save her from him. Like her getting hurt was inevitable. Didn’t he
understand he was hurting her so much more by pushing her way?
She shook off her depressing thoughts and immersed herself in this perfectly romantic day. And on
her photography. She was good at her job, and the reason was that she focused on the details. Picked
out the good and discarded the bad, to find the perfect shot that captured what the person was feeling
in that moment in time. It wasn’t lost on her that she had a talent for picking up on something she
herself had never really had—love and happiness.
Maybe it was because, deep down, she wanted that more than she was willing to admit.
This wedding was going to be cake. There was nothing but love between Jace and Hayden. The
kind of love people wrote songs about. And she couldn’t have asked for a better canvas. The setting
was picture-perfect. She could see why Hayden had insisted on getting married here.
Lilly placed her hands on the windowsill and gazed out over the lush landscape. It looked like
something in a Thomas Kinkade painting.
“Okay girls!” Hayden’s mother clapped her hands, tears already smudging her mascara. “Let’s have
a wedding!”
Lilly snapped a picture just as Hayden turned to her and smiled. “Is this really happening?”
Clasping her friend’s hand, she swallowed the pesky lump clogging her throat. “Yeah, babe. It’s
real. And you deserve every minute of this beautiful day. Now, don’t you dare cry. You’ll ruin your
makeup. I can only do so much with Photoshop.”
Hayden’s gaze dropped briefly to the scar on her arm from a bullet that had grazed her last year
while she’d been on location in the Sudan.
Lilly put her hand over the scar and smiled. “That much, I can do. You’ll never know it was there.”
“Thank you, Lil.” Hayden gave her a hug and adjusted her veil. “Can you be sure to get some good
shots of Nate today?”
Lilly adjusted the focus in the camera, trying to hide the fact that she was dying inside. The man had
broken her heart, and now she was going to have to take pictures of him all day. “Of course. He’s the
best man.”
“I want to make sure to have some recent pictures of him, in case—” Hayden’s voice wavered and
she laid her hand over her belly. “I mean, to show the baby. He won’t be here when it’s born.” She
straightened and looked Lilly in the eyes. “I want him to know who his uncle is when he comes home
again.”
Lilly’s fingers froze around the lens and her heart stuttered in her chest. She squeezed the camera so
tightly her knuckles blanched white. “You don’t think he’ll come back, do you?” she whispered.
Hayden stopped smoothing her veil. “Of course he’ll come back. It’s just…” She swallowed. “Of
course he’ll come back.”
Lilly bit her lip and looked down at her camera, concentrating on one breath at a time. Being a
Marine was a dangerous job. He’d barely gotten out alive last time. What were the odds he’d have
that kind of luck again if things went wrong?
“He’s going to be fine, Lil,” Hayden assured her. “He’s already made it through two tours. He
knows the ropes.”
Lilly nodded, and slipped her camera strap around her neck, taking another deep breath. She
couldn’t break down. Not here or now. This was Hayden’s day.
Tomorrow. Tomorrow, Lilly would be back home where she could allow herself to crack wide
open. But right now she had a job to do, and she’d be damned if she let a man ruin the incredible
opportunity Hayden had set up for her with New York Bridal Magazine.
“Lilly—”
“Will you be pissed at me if I leave right after the reception?” she asked. “I’ll get all the shots you
need, but I want to get back to my computer as soon as possible to put together the package for the
magazine. So I reserved an early flight out. I won’t be able to stay to see you off on your honeymoon.”
Hayden searched her face for a moment, and sighed. “If that’s what you need to do, I support you.
But I really wish you would give him a chance.”
Was she really that transparent? Apparently.
But Nate had too many issues to take another chance on him. Lilly’s heart couldn’t bear another
rejection. He’d already hurt her too many times. Too deeply.
But the fact was, it didn’t matter if she accepted his flaws and forgave him. Nate was never going
to forgive himself. She quelled the anger and hurt rising up inside, and swiped a tear away from her
cheek. She forced a smile and leaned over to fluff Hayden’s dress.
“Come on, babe,” she said. “Let’s go get you married.”
…
Nate strode into the music-filled barn, his eyes immediately doing a quick scan for blond hair and a
lavender dress. He had to find Lilly. After the way they’d left things last night, he had to apologize.
He had to explain. Make her understand that he wanted more with her. He wanted everything, despite
the fact that he was leaving.
They could find a way to make it work. They had to.
Hearing her say good-bye to him had only proved what he already knew. He loved her. He needed
her. And there was no way in hell he was letting her go that easily.
He’d seen her flitting around the ceremony and reception, doing what she did best. It really was
amazing seeing her work. She was great behind the camera—the way she handled people, how easily
she brought out a smile or a laugh for the shot. The way she found light in even the darkest places.
Not that there were many dark places here today. Watching Jace say his vows to Hayden on that
bridge, seeing the pure joy on his little brother’s face, it was the happiest Nate had felt in a long time.
Finally, Jace had gotten a break. Gotten what he deserved. He choked back the emotion the day had
brought on and took a swig of his beer.
He just hoped Lilly would still be willing to see a little light in him. Because he was nowhere near
ready for this to be over between them. Not even close. A long-distance relationship wouldn’t be
easy, but he had faith in himself. In them. In what they could have together.
“Hey.” Jace clasped a hand on his shoulder and grinned. “Nice toast.”
Nate laughed, looking over his brother’s tux matched with Converse tennis shoes. “Yeah. A real
crowd-pleaser.”
“I especially liked the part about me being an inspiration. The bravest person you’ve ever met. You
forgot to mention my brilliant wit and panty-dropping good looks, though.”
Nate’s grin widened. “And be responsible for spreading lies at my own brother’s wedding?
Never.”
“I think you have half the bridesmaids ready to climb Mount Nate.”
Nate rolled his eyes, watching the crowd thin, still not seeing Lilly. “Not interested.”
“Can I give you a word of advice?” Jace asked. “If you really care, go get the fucking girl. All the
other bullshit will work itself out.”
Nate’s lips quirked at hearing his brother practically quote the advice Nate had given him last year
when he’d told him to go after Hayden. “Sounds like you’ve been listening to one smart bastard.”
Jace made a face. “He’s got his moments.”
Nate scanned the room again, tugging at his tie. The damn monkey suit was suffocating him. Hayden
danced over, laughing, and wrapped her arms around his neck.
He picked her up and spun her in a circle with a grin. “You look like something out of damn fairy
tale, Half Pint.” Her ivory dress was simple satin, styled like a corset in the back, secured by what
looked like a million strings and pearl buttons. He smirked, thinking Jace was going to have a hell of
a time unwrapping his bride later. He smiled fondly down at her, wishing like hell his parents had
been here to celebrate with them. He had no doubt they’d have been thrilled to have Hayden as part of
the family. “Just beautiful.”
She beamed. “Since I’m officially your sister now, I think we should vote.” Her gaze drifted over
to her new husband. “All those in favor of Nate banishing the nickname Half Pint from his
vocabulary, raise your hand.”
He and Jace exchanged a conspiratorial glance, and Nate clinked Jace’s beer bottle with his own.
Hayden was the only one raising her hand.
She pouted. “Not fair, guys.”
“Brothers rarely are,” Jace drawled.
Nate lifted his beer bottle in a toast to her, and smirked. “Neither are uncles, from what I hear.”
She gasped, and punched Jace in the arm. “Hey! You told him about the baby?”
Jace laughed, rubbing his biceps. “I had to tell someone.”
Nate smiled, thinking about a miniature Jace being a part of their lives. If he took after his daddy,
they were all going to be in for one hell of a ride.
He kissed Hayden on the cheek and patted her barely there bump. “This is going to be one lucky
kid,” he said.
Watching his brother and Hayden together made the hollow space in his chest throb—a steady beat
that pulsed out the name Lilly over and over. He cast another look around the reception hall. “Is Lilly
still taking photos outside?”
Hayden frowned and exchanged a look with Jace.
Nate frowned. “What am I missing?”
She sighed and laid her hand on his arm. Oh shit.
“Lilly left about an hour ago,” Hayden said. “She caught an early flight back to Charlotte.”
He took a step back. “What the hell? She’s the damn photographer!”
Hayden squeezed his arm, then dropped her hand. “I don’t know what you said to her, but she
seemed a bit upset.”
He stabbed his fingers through his hair and tugged. No. Fuck… Please, no. She couldn’t just leave.
It couldn’t end like this.
The floor seemed to drop out from under him and he was falling. She’d gone.
He thought back to everything he’d said last night, and cursed. She’d never trust him again. She’d
meant it when she said good-bye.
How the fuck had he let this happen? He should have gone to her sooner. He should have reassured
her.
He should have told her he loved her.
“Nate…are you okay?” Hayden’s concerned voice broke through the haze and he stumbled back.
Fuck this. Lilly wasn’t walking out of his life this easily. Not when he’d been agonizing all day,
trying to figure out a way to keep her in it.
He turned and took off, scooping the keys to the truck out of his pocket. “I’m outta here.”
“Nate!” Jace called after him. “Where the hell are you going?”
He stopped at the door, praying to any god that would still listen to a fuck-up like him that he still
had a chance to change her mind.
He tapped the truck key to his forehead and saluted his brother. “Taking your advice, bro. I’m going
after the girl.”
Chapter Nineteen
Lilly was so screwed.
She was in love.
With a man she’d been avoiding for nearly two weeks since the wedding.
A man who was probably already on his way overseas with the Marines. She buried her face in her
hands and a sob ripped out of her before she could stop it, echoing off the walls of her apartment
bathroom. Normally she avoided tears at all costs, but these couldn’t be contained. She had wanted so
badly to answer the phone when he’d called, but why would she? She couldn’t trust a word he said.
Not anymore. Nor could she bear to hear him reject her all over again. There was no way she would
ever tell him how she felt. Not when he was hell-bent on putting an ocean between himself and his
life back here—including her. He’d resent her for telling him. For ruining his plan to escape with no
strings attached.
She felt so inconceivably foolish that she had fallen for his shit all over again.
“Lilly.” Paige’s voice sounded from outside the bathroom door. When she didn’t answer, she heard
Paige sigh. “Okay, if you don’t answer, I’m going to call your brother and tell him to come bust you
out.”
With a silent groan, Lilly flipped open the lock on the door and sank back against the wall. There
was no point in arguing. Her twin brother was an overprotective, overbearing ass. If he heard about
her crying, she had no doubt he’d be over there with his police cruiser lights blazing, to save the day.
Hell, he’d probably bust the hinges to get in. And she didn’t doubt for a second Paige would call him.
If nothing else, it would give her friend one more chance to ogle him in his cop uniform before
moving out.
Paige peeked through the doorway, and stilled when she saw her.
“Lilly…” She sank down in front of her and grabbed her hands. “Come on, honey. You need Ben
and Jerry, stat.”
“Aren’t you supposed to be at work?” Lilly asked. “Your grand opening is tomorrow.”
“Probably.” She smiled and wiped the tears from Lilly’s cheeks. “But this is more important. Now,
talk to me.”
Lilly thought back to the anguish in Nate’s pleading voice as he’d begged her to answer the phone.
Then the door. To let him explain.
Didn’t he understand? There was no fixing their relationship. Every time things got serious, he
pulled away. How could they ever have a future when he allowed his life to be completely dictated
by his past? She believed he wanted her, but she also knew he’d always choose the seven men he’d
lost over her. And she couldn’t live like that. She couldn’t live the way her mother had, existing only
for the brief moments that he’d deign to pop into her life for a damn booty call.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” she told her soon to be ex-roommate.
She pushed herself up and peered at herself in the mirror to dab away the mascara smudges from
under her eyes.
“I don’t want to be like my mother,” Lilly choked out. “I refuse.”
Paige frowned and pulled her into her arms. “You will never be like her. Do you hear me?”
Lilly nodded, hating that Paige was seeing her cry. That anyone was.
“In case you’ve forgotten, I knew your mom,” Paige said, reminding Lilly of a time when Paige had
been her and her twin brother’s only saving grace when they were kids. “You are so much more than
she ever was,” she said gently. “You’re not weak. You’re not cold. You are one of the strongest and
kindest people I’ve ever known. If your brother heard you talking like that he’d kick your ass.”
Lilly glared at her. “Don’t you dare tell him you saw me cry.”
“What?” Paige batted her eyelashes innocently. “And throw away the first piece of blackmail
you’ve given me in years? Never.”
Lilly let Paige pull her to her feet and they wandered into the living room, where she collapsed
onto the couch. Paige went to the kitchen and came back with Lilly’s emergency pint of chocolate ice
cream and handed it to her with a spoon.
She took it with a sigh. “I should throw this right in the trash because it’s so damn cliché.” She
popped open the lid and her stomach growled.
Paige snorted. “But you won’t.”
“I thought yoga instructors were all about healthy living. I’m surprised you didn’t throw it out while
I was gone.”
Paige joined her on the couch and tucked her knees up to her chest. “I had a feeling you might need
it after that truck ride.”
She stabbed her spoon into the ice cream, her appetite dwindling. She stared at the answering
machine on the table. How many missed calls were there from Nate? How many messages? She was
afraid to look.
“Can I give you a little advice without you getting pissed?” Paige asked.
Lilly sighed. “Since when has me being pissed ever stopped you from giving me your opinion?”
“I think you should give him a chance to explain,” she said. “The guy I saw on the other side of that
door…he wasn’t a guy who wanted to use you. He was a guy dying inside over the thought that he’d
hurt you. He loves you, sweetie. Anyone with eyes can see that.”
Lilly wrapped her arms around her middle to hold herself together. She could feel her insides
cracking, splitting, aching. She wanted that to be true so much.
But she knew better.
“He doesn’t want me, Paige.” She bit her bottom lip to replace the pain inside with another. “If he
really cared about me, he wouldn’t have lied. He wouldn’t have led me on, all the while knowing he
was leaving any minute.”
Paige grabbed a piece of paper from the coffee table and handed it to her.
Lilly glanced over what was written on the paper. A time, date, and address. “What’s this?”
“Well, if you’re not to going to listen to me, maybe work can take your mind off the man,” Paige
said. “Some people called needing engagement photos done tomorrow. I told them you’d try to fit
them in, but I couldn’t find your schedule book to be sure.”
Yes. This was exactly what she needed. Work. A distraction. Her camera in her hands.
And Nate Jennings as far from her thoughts as possible.
Chapter Twenty
“Nate!” Jace called from the other side of Nate’s front door as he beat the shit out of it. “Open the
damn door before I kick it the hell down.”
Nate dropped a stack of plastic cups into a box marked “
KITCHEN
” and opened the door.
Jace glowered at him, then pushed past him to stalk into the now half-empty apartment. “Why
haven’t you been answering your phone?”
Nate didn’t even know where his phone was. It didn’t matter. The one person in the world he
wanted to call never would. “Didn’t hear it. Sorry.”
Jace silently watched him pack for a moment before he picked up a box to help. “You should have
called me. I could have come over and helped with this.”
Nate swallowed another lump of guilt. “I know.”
His brother tossed a stack of books into a box. “Have you heard from Lilly?”
“No.”
He’d tried to call her. Stalked her apartment. Bribed her roommate. None of it had worked. She’d
cut him off, and for every second of every day he was feeling the withdrawal. The worst part was the
fear that he’d never see her smile again. The last time he’d seen her, she’d looked so hurt. So
betrayed. She’s put herself out there and he’d crushed her. Rubbing his chest where it ached, he
grabbed a roll of tape and sealed the kitchen box. Closing up another piece of his civilian life.
“You going to tell me where they’re sending you?”
Nate popped open another box and raised a brow. “You know I’m not allowed to say.”
Jace pushed out a breath and braced his hands on the sofa. “Have you at least found someone to
sublet the apartment?”
Nate shook his head. He knew he should just give in and get rid of the place. It wasn’t as if it had
ever felt like a home.
“You know who needs a place? Lilly,” he said. “She’s got to be out of her apartment in a week and
still hasn’t found anything.”
Just hearing Lilly’s name made Nate’s world implode all over again. He’d actually been lucky
enough to find a woman who accepted him, flaws and all, and he couldn’t accept himself enough to be
with her. He’d fucked up, and now he’d run out of time.
No. She was better off without him. Now she could be with someone normal, someone without all
his damn baggage. Someone who could make her happy.
He shrugged, feigning nonchalance, when really the thought of Lilly not having a place to live made
his protective instincts roar to the surface. He wanted to find her and drag her back here, caveman
style, and convince her to stay forever.
But he knew he couldn’t. It may hurt now, but this way was for the best. She’d been right to shut
him out.
“Why do you keep doing this?” Jace finally asked, hands on hips.
“Doing what?”
“Pushing people away.”
A fresh wave of pain rolled through Nate’s chest. He threw down the box in his hand and glared at
his brother. “Because all I do is disappoint everyone! Why do you even want me around, Jace? I
abandoned you when you needed me the most. You should have told me to go fuck myself a long time
ago.”
Jace opened his mouth and closed it again, shock flashing across his face. “You think I see you as a
disappointment?”
When Nate didn’t answer, his brother shook his head. “You’re the only one who believes that,
Nate. How could I think of you as a disappointment? Do you have any idea how many times you’ve
bailed my ass out over the past two years with the bar? Because I’ve lost count.”
Wordlessly, Nate picked up an empty box.
Jace knocked it out of his hand. “Listen to me for once.”
Nate gritted his teeth and took a step back to put some distance between them. Pain flared to life
behind his temple, pulsing, clawing at his skull. “What the fuck do you want from me?”
“I want you to pull your head out of your ass and beat this thing!” he shouted. “I know you’re
hurting. I know you’re going through a lot of shit. But you don’t have to do it alone.”
“You think I don’t want to beat it?” He pounded a fist on his chest. “You think I don’t want to get
past this shit and be a good brother to you? Stop being such a fuck-up?”
“You are a good brother,” Jace said, sounding suddenly tired. “You’re a good guy, Nate.” He
grabbed his jacket from the back of the couch and headed for the door. “You want to know what will
disappoint me?”
“What’s that?”
“Seeing you be an idiot and walk away from the best thing that’s ever happened to you.”
Jace stopped at the front door and picked up Nate’s apartment keys. He looked back at Nate and
gave him a half smile.
“These might make one hell of a gesture…just saying.”
He dropped them on the table by the door and walked out, leaving Nate staring at the keys as though
they were a lifeline. Hope sparked to life inside of him and a plan began to unravel in his mind. It
was a long shot…but he had to believe that it would work. Because life without Lilly—
No. It had to work.
…
Lilly slipped her camera strap around her neck and stepped out of her car, taking in the beautiful
Reynolds Gardens where she was supposed to meet her clients. She’d been a little afraid that the heat
of July would have dimmed the beauty, but it hadn’t. Flowers of every color were in full bloom and
the air smelled of orange blossoms and lavender and about a hundred other scents that she couldn’t
place.
She walked along the lush, grassy path to the clearing where she was supposed to meet her new
clients. Crumbling concrete cherubs and benches engraved with verses about love made the spot a
perfect choice for engagement photos. Whoever these clients were had good taste.
She sat down on a bench and traced her fingers over the faded verse. She heard footsteps and
looked up. Her heart raced before dropping to her stomach.
“Nate?” She froze in consternation.
“Hey.” He smiled, but something was different about him. Despite being in crisp jeans and a gray
button-down shirt that made him look absolutely delicious, he appeared as though he hadn’t slept in
days.
Also, he had a puppy on a leash trailing behind him.
His haunted blue gaze looked greedily over her.
Lilly rose on shaky legs. “What are you doing here?” Was that really her own breathy voice? She
shook her self mentally. She needed to get it together. Be strong.
“I, um…” He seemed at a loss for words.
Suddenly, it hit her. He’d set this up. She fought the urge to throw her camera at his ridiculously
handsome face. “You! You’re the client. You lured me out here under false pretenses, pretending to
need photos.” She sputtered. “Are you kidding me, Nate?”
He stepped toward her, and she backed away. He frowned. “I wouldn’t have had to do any of this if
you’d just answered one of my calls. Jesus, Lilly. I’ve been going out of my mind.”
Hell, no. She couldn’t hear any of this. Not now. She pressed a hand over her stomach and took a
deep breath. “You lied to me. That’s all that matters. I don’t want or need whatever apology you’ve
worked up, Nate.”
He halted his advance. He looked lost as he said, “I’m in love with you, Lil.”
Shock welded her in place. “What did you say?”
He stepped forward, backing her up against a large cherub statue. The concrete dug into her back.
He planted his hand on the stone behind her. His eyes blazed, and she trembled beneath his stare, heat
sparking a need so strong it took her breath away.
“I. Love. You,” he repeated, slowly. “I didn’t tell you I was leaving because…I didn’t know what I
wanted. Not in the beginning. And by the time I figured it out, I was terrified you wouldn’t stay with
me. That you would see my leaving as abandoning you.”
“Nate, I—”
“Shhh.” He pressed his forehead against hers and exhaled a shaky breath. “When you left after the
wedding— My world fell apart, Lil. I didn’t think it was possible for something that was already in
tatters to crumble like that. I’m sorry, baby. I want to do whatever it takes to make this right. I want to
try to make it work.”
Lilly’s knees gave out and Nate caught her. Her heart was pounding against her ribs so hard it had
to be doing internal damage. He…loved her? Tears burned her eyes as her mind replayed every
moment with him over the past year. All of those moments had led to this? The guarded part of her
mind screamed for her to run like hell. To lock herself back in the unfeeling tower she’d lived in for
so long. The rest of her melted into his warmth, knowing without a doubt that he was home. How the
hell was she supposed to walk away from him now? He grabbed her hand and laid her palm over his
chest. He looked down where his heart was beating against her palm.
“Can’t you feel it?” he whispered. “Can’t you feel how much I love you, Lil?”
Her head fell forward to lie against his chest and a sob ripped free from her throat. “Nate…I don’t
know—”
“I know I’m asking a lot,” he rushed on. “But I have a plan. Please, just hear me out.”
She sniffled and looked down at the tiny white dog with a brown spot around one eye licking her
ankle. “Whose dog is this?” she asked.
“Yours,” he said.
Her gaze snapped up. He had to be kidding. “I can’t have a dog in my apartment. Hell, I won’t even
have an apartment in a week.”
Nate pulled a key out of his pocket and folded it into her palm. “You do now.”
She frowned down at it. Oh, no. No, no, no. “Nate—”
“It doesn’t have to mean what you’re thinking,” he rushed to say. “You can pay rent if you feel more
comfortable doing that. And you can keep the puppy there…if you want him. Then when I come home,
we can see how you feel about things. About me.”
He’d said when he comes home. Her eyes watered as she peered down at the tiny scruffball
between them. “Of course I want him.”
“What about me?” he asked. “Think you could want me, too?”
A roaring ache in her heart refused to be quieted. Her desire for this man refused to be
extinguished. She felt alive from the heady mix of her emotions. She felt alive because he was
touching her. Wanting her. Needing her, the way she needed him.
“Nate,” she whispered, feeling herself sway against him.
“Tell me you want this, too.” His lips brushed against her temple, her cheek, her mouth. “Say
something, Princess. Anything.”
She swallowed heavily. “I—”
“Lilly, I fucked up big time. But you have to know I would never hurt you again, the way I did in the
beginning. I couldn’t walk away from you now if I wanted to. I can’t do anything about the fact that
I’m being deployed, but if you could just give us a chance. If you’d wait for me—”
“Nate, stop,” she cut him off before he could say any more. She smiled up at him. “I love you, too.”
…
“You love me?” Nate repeated, the words feeling foreign in his mouth. “Really?”
Lilly loved him.
He was being torn apart. He was being stitched back together. Shock and awe stole any words he
might have produced. He hadn’t gone into this meeting with any expectations. He’d known it was a
long shot, but…she fucking loved him. She still wanted him.
Her eyes glistened as she nodded, and his heart raced, overcome with joy.
He cupped her face with both hands and kissed her before she could take another breath. Or change
her mind.
Like magic, she melted into him, the tension leaving her body at the touch of his mouth to hers. She
parted her lips on a moan, and he took full advantage, his tongue sweeping inside to taste. To claim.
She belonged to him. And he belonged to her. He’d go to hell and back for this woman. And he was
going to make damn sure she knew it. Knew that he was never going to desert her.
He would never be the bastard her father was. He was going to give this woman everything he had.
Everything he was.
The tender, healing kiss he’d meant to give her turned urgent. Necessary.
He gripped her hips and she arched into him, groaning breathily. He broke away to leave a trail of
kisses down her throat.
“Nate. We should talk about this.”
“Later.” Right now his woman needed him. And he needed her just as badly.
He wanted to feel the connection that kept them tethered together. To feel the comfort of knowing
she was with him, that he hadn’t lost her, after all.
He slid his hands up under her skirt, taking the fabric with him.
She grabbed his wrists. “Nate!” She cast a nervous glance around. “Someone might see!”
He inhaled a deep breath, fighting for control, then lifted her up. Her legs locked around his waist
and he walked them back down the path to his truck. He opened the door, set her down on the back
bench, and grabbed the small dog crate from the front.
After loading the puppy into it, he set it back in the bed of the truck. “Sorry, little guy,” he said.
“Grown-up business.”
He climbed in and pulled Lilly onto his lap, his chest warming at the welcoming smile on her face.
Thank fuck for tinted windows.
Her hair fell forward as she twined her arms around his neck, framing her face in soft honey curls.
He twirled a shorter piece around his finger and smiled at the memory.
She sank her teeth into her bottom lip. “You don’t have to say these things—”
Nate silenced her by pressing his finger to her lips. “I love you, Lilly Grayson. And I intend to
spend the rest of my life making you believe it.”
He would, too. He’d live to make her happy. Giving her what she needed. And that promise started
here. Now.
Her eyes misted over, and she kissed him, rubbing her core over his erection, needy moans slipping
past her sultry lips. He grabbed her hips with a growl, and reached beneath her skirt to grab the lace
panties blocking him from what he wanted.
He wanted her on his cock.
He tore the material in two and tossed it onto the floorboard.
She gasped, her hands working the button to his jeans. Then his zipper. Once she had his cock free,
she wrapped her fingers around it.
He groaned. “I want you to ride me,” he grated out. “Now.”
He lifted her hips, and in one swift thrust, pulled her down onto his cock. They both groaned at the
contact, and his head fell back against the seat.
She began to move, and he reached for the buttons of her blouse. Fuck it. He ripped open the
blouse, buttons scattering across the seat. Her eyes widened on a sharp inhale.
Even better the second time.
He grinned. “I’ll buy you a new one.”
He pulled her bra down and drew her breast into his mouth, tongue swirling around her nipple until
she bucked against him, riding him so hard the truck rocked.
“Fuck, baby,” he groaned, and buried his face into her neck. He breathed her in. Ginger and vanilla.
Home. He’d never let her go. Not ever. “You’re mine,” he growled. “I want to hear you say it.”
“Oh, God. I’m yours, Nate. All yours.”
He thrust hard up into her, and that was all it took. She came apart in his arms, her inner muscles
clamping around his cock, demanding everything he had to give.
“I love you, Nate,” she cried. “Oh, God. I love—”
He smothered her words with a searing kiss, and exploded inside her.
“Lilly!” He stilled her hips, pouring himself into her.
Heart. Body. And soul.
…
Lilly lay across Nate’s chest and twined her legs through his, her heart soaring with happiness.
They’d been lying in the cab of his truck in comfortable, sated silence for the last half hour.
He loved her.
She burrowed her face into his neck, unable to keep the sappy smile from her lips. She could feel
his warm breath in her hair.
She laced their fingers together, the perfect moment marred by a spike of sadness. “You’re still
leaving.”
He shifted under her. “Baby, I signed the papers. There aren’t really a lot of options left.” He let
out a sigh. “But even if I could get out of it, I need to do this. For me. To be able to come back a
better man for you. I survived something that logic says I shouldn’t have walked away from. I was
given a second chance. I want to do something with that. I want to save lives again. I can’t leave it the
way I did. It can’t end like that for me.”
“What if something terrible happens to you?”
He gripped her chin. “That won’t happen. I won’t let it. I have too much to come home to.”
“What about Jace, and the bar?”
“The bar has always been Jace’s thing. Not mine. I’ll keep my shares, be a silent partner as always,
but that’s it.”
She leaned up on her elbow and kissed him. “And that’s what you want?”
He brushed the hair from her eyes. “What I want is you. I want a reason to live, not an excuse to
die.”
“You love me,” she whispered, kissing him again. “I can’t believe it.”
He grinned against her mouth, and caressed her hip. “Like I said. I have a weakness for smart-
mouthed blondes who like to push my buttons.”
She smiled, and trailed her fingers playfully down his chest. “And what buttons am I pushing now?”
she whispered, wrapping her fingers around his growing hard-on. She stroked it up and down, and he
growled, flipping her onto her back.
“Princess, you just pushed the best one.”
Epilogue
“You have got to stop pacing,” Hayden groaned. “You’re making me dizzy.”
“So video something else,” Lilly said, refusing to take her eyes off the escalator leading to the
airport baggage claim area where they stood. “You just happen to have the cutest baby in all of God’s
creation right over there. Tape him.”
Lilly pulled her bottom lip between her teeth watching people and suitcases trickle off the moving
stairs. Nate should be coming down them any minute.
He had been gone seven months. Seven long months of short letters and even shorter phone calls
with crappy reception. Seven agonizing months of worrying every night if he was going to come home
safe. And now he was in the same building with her. Somewhere.
In a few minutes there wouldn’t even be that space separating them. She’d be able to kiss him and
touch him, and know beyond a shadow of a doubt that he was alive and well.
Her heart felt like it was going to explode. She’d had enough of waiting. She was ready for the man
she loved more than life itself to appear so she could shackle him to their bed and never let him go
again.
Behind her, Jace chuckled. “Hayden’s right. You have got to chill out, Lil. You’re even making Ben
nervous.”
Lilly turned and smiled down at the one-month-old baby Jace was cradling in his arms. He and
Hayden looked exhausted. Blissfully happy, but exhausted. Ben blinked up at her and she grabbed his
little hand.
“You get to meet your uncle today,” she cooed. “I think you’re going to like him. I know I do.”
She looked up and caught Jace exchanging a worried look with his wife. He’d probably spent just
as many nights awake as she had, hoping and praying that his brother would come home safe.
Hayden lowered her camera and smiled. “It won’t be like last time,” she reassured him, and looked
to Lilly. “Right? Tell him.”
Lilly nodded, and stroked Ben’s tiny hand with a fingertip. “Right.”
Jace kissed the top of Ben’s head, tension still evident in the stiff set of his shoulders. “I hope to
hell you’re right.”
She knew his fears. The last time Nate had come home, he’d been utterly broken after having
narrowly escaped death. This time had to be different. Nate had told her this was what he’d needed to
do in order to heal, and she’d believed him. She’d trusted he would do everything in his power to
come home safely and give their relationship a real shot.
“Lilly! I think that’s him.” Hayden tapped her arm and Lilly darted her gaze to the escalator where a
pair of camo pants and black boots started to descend.
Her heart stopped, then sped into overdrive when the rest of him appeared. A black T-shirt
stretched over a chest that looked even more chiseled and toned than the last time she’d seen him.
Dog tags dangled around his neck, and his hair was buzzed even shorter than usual.
His lips split into a huge smile at the sight of her. He dropped his duffel at the bottom of the stairs
and took off at a sprint toward her.
She squealed in happiness as he plowed into her, scooping her up into his arms and crushing her
against his chest. She couldn’t stop the sob of relief that escaped her, but in a heartbeat it was muffled
by Nate’s mouth crushing against hers.
She vaguely realized he was walking them away from the crowd as he parted her lips with his
tongue. His two strong arms banded around her so tightly she had trouble breathing, but she didn’t
want him to let go. Not even for a second.
She kissed him back and fisted his T-shirt, hugging, tugging, hating the barrier between them. “God,
I missed you.”
He pulled away, breathing hard and laughing all at the same time. “I missed you, too, Princess,” he
said, wiping the tears from her face with the pads of his thumbs. “You have no idea how much.”
Behind them, a throat cleared. “You guys might want to keep this reunion PG-rated. We have a kid
now, you know?”
Nate smiled at Jace over her shoulder, and let her slip down his body at a slow, torturous speed.
When her feet hit the floor, he leaned down to nip her earlobe and his fingers curled around the hem
of her dress.
“I’m going to go make nice and meet my nephew,” he whispered. “But then I need to get you alone.
We have a lot of time to make up for.”
Heat flooded her body and she stifled a groan of need. He kissed her cheek and pulled away with a
satisfied smile, knowing exactly what he’d just done to her.
Jace handed the baby off to Hayden and pulled Nate into a back-slapping hug. “You look good,
bro.” Jace’s voice sounded muffled against Nate’s shoulder. “You look…better.”
“I am better.” He pulled back and punched Jace on the shoulder with a grin. “You, on the other
hand, look like shit, Pops. When was the last time you slept?”
Jace made a face. “We’ll see how well you sleep when you have one of these waking you up every
two hours.”
Nate’s gaze shifted to Hayden and the baby. “Aw, Hayden, he’s beautiful.” He gave her a hug and
took the baby.
Lilly’s heart melted at the look of pure awe on his face as he peered down into those little blue
eyes.
“Hey, little man,” he murmured softly. “You know…I thought I’d have all these words of wisdom
to give you, but somehow, I don’t think you’ll need any of them. You’ve got an awesome mom and
dad. They’ll steer you in the right direction. And it just so happens you also have an amazing uncle—
who’ll teach you how to give them hell. You don’t want to take it too easy on your old man. We don’t
want him going soft on us.”
Hayden laughed as he kissed Ben’s tiny hand, then passed the baby back to her. “You did good,
Half Pint.”
He turned back to Lilly, and a swarm of butterflies took flight in her stomach. The desire and
unbelievable love shining back at her from his eyes were enough to make her lose her breath. Before
she had time to comprehend what was happening, he took something Jace gave him, then dropped to
one knee in front of her.
Her hands flew to her mouth. What was he doing? He couldn’t possibly be—
Could he?
Nate looked up at her, his heart shining through his tender gaze. His lips curved up, and her eyes
flooded with tears for the second time that day. She let out a sob of happiness.
“Lilly, when I met you, I didn’t even know who I was anymore,” he said softly. “But you made me
realize who I wanted to be. You made me want to be the kind of man who deserves to wake up next to
someone like you every morning for the rest of his life.”
“Oh my God, Nate…”
“Being away from you the past seven months has only made me more sure of what I already knew. I
love you. I love that you know every one of my buttons and just how to push them. I love that you
challenge me and never let me get away with screwing up. I love how strong you are. How brave you
are. How beautiful you are, inside and out. And I love that when I look at you, I see the woman who’ll
be the mother of my kids someday. The only woman I’ll ever want, for the rest of my life.”
Joy filled her whole being. She wiped at the tears spilling silently down her face, and hiccuped
another little sob, unable to summon words.
The crowd that gathered around them let out a collective sigh as he grabbed her hand and held up
the open ring box.
“Marry me, baby.” He slid the ring from its velvet cushion. “Marry me, and I’ll spend the rest of
my life making you happy.”
“Yes,” Lilly choked out, her throat tight and her heart overflowing. “Of course I will. Yes!”
He slipped the ring onto her trembling finger, and the crowd cheered. He wrapped his arms around
her and then his lips were on hers, pouring a lifetime’s worth of love and passion into his kiss.
Beside them, Hayden’s camera flashed, and Jace walked up grinning, the baby over one shoulder
and Nate’s duffel bag over the other. “Hey. Get a room, you two.”
Lilly pulled away, laughing through her tears of joy. Nate rested his forehead against hers, and the
heat in his gaze ignited a need within her that she knew wouldn’t ever go away. A need that had been
waiting a lifetime to be met.
“Need a ride, Princess?” he asked, his voice low and bad-boy sultry.
“Oh, yeah,” she whispered. “Take me home, Soldier Boy.”
Acknowledgments
First and foremost, a huge thank-you to the three amazing editors who helped me turn this book into a
story that will always have a special place in my heart. Heather Howland, who I can always count on
to listen to me ramble about people and places that don’t exist and help me turn them into something
unforgettable. To Nina Bruhns and Kari Olson who helped to make this book shine, and gave it
exactly what it needed. Thank you and big hugs to Katee Robert and the Rabble for accepting me into
your awesome group, and giving me support, laughs, amazing excerpts, and pictures of sexy men
exactly when I need them. To my mom and dad for always being my biggest fans and for cheering me
on no matter what direction I decide to take in life. Thank you to my husband and two boys for taking
this crazy journey with me and loving me even when the laundry isn’t done and dinner isn’t cooked.
Thank you to my readers! You guys make all of it worth it. Thank you for loving my characters as
much as I do. And last but certainly not least, thank you to the men and women who serve and
sacrifice for our country every single day.
About the Author
A mom by day and a romance writer by night, Nicolette Day harbors a weakness for black and white
mochas and books that steam up her Kindle screen. She grew up in a one-stoplight town in Oklahoma
where, once upon a time, she only dreamed of becoming a writer. Nicolette now lives with her family
in North Carolina in a town that has at least three stoplights. Learn more about Nicolette’s books on
, or chat with her on
. And if you love young adult romance, check
out Nicolette’s alter ego,
Discover the Falling for You series...
She wants one night, but he wants her forever.
a Falling for You novella by Nicolette Day
Jace Jennings has a problem. His best friend isn’t just leaving the country, she’s risking her life—just
when he’s realized he’s in love with her. When fate traps them in the storage room of his bar, Jace
offers Hayden the one thing she wants: a night of hot sex, no strings attached. But when the night is
over, will Jace be able to let her go?
Other books by Nicolette Day,
writing YA as Tara Fuller...
Check out Brazen’s newest releases…
Four lessons, no strings…
a Dare Me novel by USA TODAY bestselling author Christine Bell
Detective Rafe Davenport makes Courtney DeLollis uneasy. She knows all too well what happens
when a man has too much control, but a deeper, darker part of her is fascinated by his need to
dominate in the bedroom. So when Rafe dares her to try four scenes, each designed to tease and
torment, Courtney reluctantly agrees. But once he has her on her knees, Rafe realizes that she might be
the one woman capable of bringing him to his…
His rival’s in his bed, and this rocker is ready to play.
a Shaken Dirty novel by bestselling author Tracy Wolff
Former rivals Quinn Bradford and Elise McKinney are not friends. But when Quinn—the keyboardist
for Shaken Dirty—hears about the car accident that shattered Elise’s career, he’s determined to make
things right. Elise wants nothing to do with an arrogant rock star, though, so he kidnaps the stubborn
little piano player. A little seduction might be just the thing to keep her under his care…and in his
bed. But when their past comes rearing back to haunt them, it might be more than either of them can
forget.
Competitors by day, lovers by night…
a Feel the Heat novel by Nicola Marsh
With her reputation on the line, reformed bad-girl Zoe Keaton heads to Italy to score a vital business
deal. Unfortunately, the guy she needs to convince is the wickedly hot—and totally closed-off—
Prince Dominic Ricci. When the queen’s matchmaking strands Zoe and the prince on the royal
family’s secluded island, Zoe vows not to mix business with pleasure. But the prince turns up the
heat, and the chemistry between them ignites. Is it just sizzling sex, or could an Italian prince with a
tragic past fall for a take-no-prisoners American?
Letting go might be the key that unlocks her pleasure…
by Tori St. Claire
All Brad Steele wants is a scotch before he has to play nice in the first face-to-face meeting with his
co-counsel in an ugly divorce case, but instead, he finds her—a lush, inviting stranger whose dark
eyes invite him to sin. Under Brad’s guiding touch, attorney Cassie Blaire indulges a need she’s long
denied, receiving an education in desire that breaks all of her old rules…and explores tantalizing new
ones. But when she learns that Brad is her arrogant co-counsel, all of her objections will be
sustained…
If you love sexy soldiers, you might enjoy…
He wants her. All of her.
a Line of Duty novel by Tessa Bailey
NYPD sniper Matt Donovan is in hell. Instead of driving his best friend’s little sister home from
college, he’s stuck with her roommate—a fresh-faced vixen with a body that makes grown men weep.
Matt’s attraction suits Lucy Mason just fine. He’s so hot that she lie d about her identity knowing he’d
never have his wicked way with his buddy’s sister. But Matt’s desires run deep—and dark—and
when her cover’s blown, he decides to teach Lucy what wicked really means.
She thought she’d sworn off military men for good…
a Front and Center novel by Tawna Fenske
Sam Kercher is every inch a wickedly hot Marine. But when his best friends call in a favor, Sam is
forced to face an entirely new line of duty—playing nanny for their newly divorced sister and her
seven-month-old twins. Problem is, Sheridan has sworn off overbearing military men, so Sam must
hide his identity. And that he’s been ordered not to touch her. Ever. But even the most disciplined
Marine has weaknesses...and Sheridan is one Sam might not be able to resist.
This soldier’s the perfect hoax…if she doesn’t fall for him first.
a Shillings Agency novel by NYT bestselling author Jen McLaughlin, writing as Diane Alberts
Stats whiz Kayla Moriarity is en route to her sister’s wedding—without the fictional boyfriend she
invented for her family. Fortunately, her plane comes complete with complimentary cocktails and
ridiculously hot ex-marine Cooper Shillings in the seat beside her. Soon, Kayla’s inhibitions are
sailing out the airlock. When he hears her predicament, Cooper offers to be her stand-in boyfriend.
All Kayla has to do is ensure her family falls for the ultimate bluff, without falling for it—and Cooper
—in the process...
Pretending to be in love has never felt so sexy.
a McCade Brothers novel by Samanthe Beck
USMC helicopter pilot Michael McCade has two goals: Get his damn back into alignment and stay
out of trouble until his commanding officer clears him to fly again. When his too-hot-to-handle
neighbor turns out to be his masseuse, he strays from the plan in a major way. But can a girl who
avoids attachments at all costs fake an engagement to a straight-arrow soldier without falling hard?
Fighting is just foreplay in these enemies-to-lovers books…
The blind date from hell is about to get hotter…
an Out of Uniform novel by NYT bestselling author Katee Robert
Air Force Pararescuer Ryan Flannery avoids his hometown at all costs, so he’s not thrilled when he’s
set up on a blind date…until meets mousy librarian Brianne Nave. Her sweet curves and kissable lips
are like a siren’s call, but her smart mouth? Not so much. How can two people have so little
chemistry outside the bedroom when they fit together so perfectly in it? Stranded in a cabin by their
friends, they’ll be forced to find out—if they don’t kill each other first.
The fighting was just foreplay...
a Line of Duty novel by Tessa Bailey
Brent Mason and Hayden Winstead can’t stand each other. Unfortunately, their two best friends are
deeply, disgustingly in love. Forced together, the mutual attraction simmering beneath the surface of
Brent and Hayden’s non-relationship grows with every argument until it explodes into a night of
mind-blowing sex. Hayden has a secret, though. To protect her wealthy family, she’ll have to forget
the dirty-talking cop, but Brent has no intention of being forgotten.
He’ll guard her body all night long…
a Wilde Security novel by Tonya Burrows
Former Marine Jude Wilde’s motto has always been “burn bridges and never look back.” But when
Wilde Security is hired to protect district attorney Libby Pruitt, the woman he loved and left, Jude
can’t ignore the heat—or the animosity—sparking between them. With her life on the line and a
grudge to break, can he win back Libby’s heart?