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ESL Podcast 859 – Attending an Ex’s Wedding

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1

GLOSSARY

wedding – the ceremony that brings two people together in marriage
* Derek wants a small wedding, but his fiancée wants to invite hundreds of
people.

ex – a former romantic partner; a person with whom one used to have a romantic
relationship
* Frank never dates colleagues, because he doesn’t want to be in the position of
working with an ex.

to have the nerve – to be very bold and arrogant; to do something that is
shocking and rude, without being sorry about it
* I can’t believe Sheila had the nerve to ask me to pay for the meal after she was
the one who suggested we go to such an expensive restaurant.

to invite – to ask someone to come to an event or to participate in something
* How many people are you inviting to the party?

water under the bridge – something that happened in the past and has been
forgotten and no longer has any importance or influence
* When Bryan and Kai were younger, they fought a lot, but now those arguments
are water under the bridge and they are best friends.

no hard feelings – without any anger or resentment; not holding a grudge; not
spending a lot of time thinking about how another person hurt oneself or did
something bad in the past
* I’m sorry I dated your sister without asking for your permission first. No hard
feelings, okay?

breakup – the end of a romantic relationship; the moment when two people
decide to stop dating each other
* A lot of people have horrible stories about breakups that happened via text
messaging or email.

mutual – done by two people, usually at the same time; in the interest of two
people; experienced by two people
* They shook hands as a sign of their mutual agreement and said they would put
everything in a written contract on Monday.

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ESL Podcast 859 – Attending an Ex’s Wedding

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these materials on another website or distributing them in any way is prohibited.

2

to have a soft place in (one’s) heart for (someone) – to have sweet, kind, and
possibly romantic feelings for another person; to like someone
* Peter has always had a soft spot in his heart for Mikayla. I wonder why he has
never asked her out on a date.

to harbor – to continue to have hopes or fears, but keep them secret and hidden
from other people
* How can he still be harboring anger over what happened four years ago?

to never come to pass – to not happen; to not occur
* Some economists are predicting an unemployment rate of 20%, but I hope that
never comes to pass.

to move on – to continue with one’s life, no longer worrying about some past
event or letting it affect one’s decisions and actions
* Janelle’s husband died 10 years ago, and she has finally decided that it’s time
to move on and start dating again.

to wish (someone) well – to hope that one has a good life and finds peace and
happiness; to have only good feelings toward another person
* We’re sad to see Kaitlynn leave the company, but we wish her well in her next
job.

match – one half of a pair, sharing many characteristics or interests with the
other person or thing; part of a set
* Do you think this skirt would be a good match for this sweater?

to hold out on (someone) – to not fully share all the available information with
another person; to keep a secret, at least partially, and not tell everything to
another person
* Did something happen at work today? It seems like you’re holding out on me.

do tell – a phrase used to ask someone to share information or to invite
someone to speak, especially about very exciting or interesting news
* How was your date with Sarah? Do tell!

English as a Second Language Podcast

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ESL Podcast 859 – Attending an Ex’s Wedding

These materials are copyrighted by the Center for Educational Development (2013). Posting of
these materials on another website or distributing them in any way is prohibited.

3

COMPREHENSION QUESTIONS

1. What does Andy mean when he asks, “He had the nerve to invite you to his
wedding?”
a) He thinks Jamal would be very nervous to invite Yuka.
b) He thinks Jamal’s invitation was inappropriate.
c) He thinks Jamal’s should have invited him, too.

2. What does Yuka say about Jamal’s new wife?
a) She seems to have a lot in common with Jamal.
b) She is very beautiful.
c) She is very kind and thoughtful.

______________


WHAT ELSE DOES IT MEAN?

to have the nerve
The phrase “to have the nerve,” in this podcast, means to be very bold and
arrogant, or to do something that is shocking and rude, without being apologetic:
“How could Lola have the nerve to tell me I don’t dress well enough, when she
was wearing shorts in the office?” The phrase “to be a bundle of nerves” means
to be very nervous and anxious about something: “Damian is always a bundle of
nerves before his presentations.” The phrase “to steady (one’s) nerves” means to
calm down and stop being so nervous: “Maybe taking a five minute break would
help her steady her nerves.” Finally, the phrase “to lose (one’s) nerve” means to
become very nervous or worried and lose confidence so that one is no longer
able to do what one had planned to do: “Mike was going to ask Mariah to marry
him, but then he lost his nerve.”

to harbor
In this podcast, the verb “to harbor” means to continue to have hopes or fears,
but keep them secret and hidden from other people: “Are you still harboring
hopes that someone will find your dog?” The verb “to harbor” can also mean to
protect a criminal or someone else, giving him or her a safe place to stay: “This
home harbored many slaves as they left the southern United States in search of
freedom.” Sometimes “to harbor” means to have or contain something, especially
if it cannot be seen and is dangerous: “Kitchen sponges often harbor germs, so
it’s a good idea to replace them frequently.” Finally, as a noun, a “harbor” is an
area of calm water in an ocean or sea, where ships are safe and able to avoid
large waves: “As soon as they left the harbor, Jacques became seasick.”

English as a Second Language Podcast

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ESL Podcast 859 – Attending an Ex’s Wedding

These materials are copyrighted by the Center for Educational Development (2013). Posting of
these materials on another website or distributing them in any way is prohibited.

4

CULTURE NOTE

Traditional Weddings

Wedding “receptions” (parties after the wedding ceremony) can be “elaborate”
(with many parts or details) events, especially when they include all of the
traditional “components” (parts).

Normally, there is a lot of music and dancing. Traditionally, the “bride” (the
woman who has just been married) has the “first dance” (dancing to the first song
played) with her father, and then with her “groom” (the man who has just been
married).

The “newlyweds” (the two people who have just been married) usually hold a
special knife together to cut the first “slice” (piece) of the cake. They feed the first
bite to each other with their fingers, but many couples actually “smear” (put
something down and move it to make a mark) over the bride’s or groom’s face as
they feed it to each other, having fun by making a mess on each other’s faces.
They also might drink their “champagne” (special white wine with bubbles) so
that their arms wrap around each other as they each drink from a “champagne
flute” (a long, narrow glass used for drinking champagne).

Later in the reception, the bride sometimes puts her right foot up on a chair and
“raises” (moves higher) the “hem” (bottom sewn part) of her dress to “expose”
(allow to be seen) much of her leg. The groom then removes a “garter” (a small
piece of elastic worn around the “thigh” (upper part of the leg), traditionally used
to hold up stockings). The groom throws the garter toward the “single” (not
married) men and the bride throws her “bouquet” (a collection of flowers held in
one’s hands) toward the single women. The man who catches the garter and the
woman who catches the bouquet “are said to be” (are talked about as if they are)
the next ones to marry.

______________

Comprehension Questions Correct Answers: 1 – b; 2 – a

English as a Second Language Podcast

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ESL Podcast 859 – Attending an Ex’s Wedding

These materials are copyrighted by the Center for Educational Development (2013). Posting of
these materials on another website or distributing them in any way is prohibited.

5

COMPLETE TRANSCRIPT

Welcome to English as a Second Language Podcast number 859: Attending an
Ex’s Wedding.

This is English as a Second Language Podcast epsiode 859. I’m your host, Dr.
Jeff McQuillan, coming to your from the Center for Educational Development in
beautiful Los Angeles, California.

Our website is ESLPod.com. You know that, but did you also know that you can
become a Learning Guide member and download? That’s right, a Learning Guide
for this episode.

This episode is a dialog between Andy and Yuka about going to the wedding –
the marriage ceremony – of someone who used to be your boyfriend or girlfriend.
Sounds pretty interesting. Let’s get started.

[start of dialog]

Andy: What did you do last weekend?

Yuka: I went to Jamal’s wedding.

Andy: Jamal?! Your ex Jamal?

Yuka: Yes, that Jamal.

Andy: He had the nerve to invite you to his wedding?

Yuka: I actually thought it was nice of him to invite me. Whatever happened
between us years ago is water under the bridge. There are no hard feelings on
either side.

Andy: You told me that the breakup was mutual, but I always thought you still
had a soft place in your heart for him.

Yuka: The truth is, when we first broke up, I did harbor some hopes of the two of
us getting back together, but that never came to pass. We both moved on and I
wish him well.

Andy: Well, how was the wedding?

English as a Second Language Podcast

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ESL Podcast 859 – Attending an Ex’s Wedding

These materials are copyrighted by the Center for Educational Development (2013). Posting of
these materials on another website or distributing them in any way is prohibited.

6

Yuka: It was very nice and Jamal’s new wife seems to be a good match for him.

Andy: And you didn’t mind seeing them together?

Yuka: Not at all, especially after I met Lorenzo.

Andy: Lorenzo, huh? You’ve been holding out on me. Do tell!

[end of dialog]

Our dialog begins with Andy asking Yuka, “What did you do last weekend?” Yuka
says, “I went to Jamal’s wedding.” A “wedding” is an official ceremony where two
people promise to, well it depends on the people, but typically, they promise to
be married to each other until they die. That doesn’t always happen. I
understand. Yuka says that she went to Jamal’s wedding. Andy says, “Jamal?!
Your ex Jamal?” “Ex” (ex) means my ex-boyfriend or my ex-girlfriend. It could
also mean my ex-husband or my ex-wife. We just use the letters “ex” sometimes
in informal conversation when we mean ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend. Here, it’s
Yuka’s ex-boyfriend.

Yuka says, “Yes, that Jamal,” meaning that’s the Jamal I’m talking about. Andy is
obviously surprised. Andy says, “He had the nerve to invite you to his wedding?”
The expression “to have the nerve (nerve)” means to do something very
surprising, very surprising, but also very rude, very unkind, and to do it without
being sorry about it. We might also use the adjectives “bold” and “arrogant” when
trying to define this expression. “You have the nerve to tell me that my hair looks
bad, when you’re bald yourself” – when you don’t have any hair yourself? That’s
what I said to somebody the other day. Well, Andy is surprised that Jamal had
the nerve to invite Yuka to his wedding. “To invite” means to ask someone to
participate or to come to some sort of event.

Yuka says, “I actually thought it was nice of him to invite me.” So, Yuka was
happy that her ex invited her. “Whatever happened between us years ago is
water under the bridge.” Yuka is saying that no matter what happened, even if
bad things happened many years ago, that is now all “water under the bridge
(bridge).” The expression “something is water under the bridge” means
something happened a long time ago but it’s no longer important and I’ve sort of
forgotten about it, really. It’s not something that bothers me anymore.

Maybe you and your brother had an argument and you’re mad at each other for
many months or even years. And then, you decide to forgive your brother or he
forgives you or you forgive each other, and you forget about that thing that

English as a Second Language Podcast

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ESL Podcast 859 – Attending an Ex’s Wedding

These materials are copyrighted by the Center for Educational Development (2013). Posting of
these materials on another website or distributing them in any way is prohibited.

7

happened. You say, “Oh, that’s water under the bridge.” You can think about a
river, of course, full of water and the water is always moving past. So, when you
look down it’s not the same water that you would’ve seen five seconds ago or
five minutes or five days ago.

Yuka says “There are no hard feelings on either side.” “To have hard feelings”
means to have anger or resentment about a situation or a person. “No hard
feelings” means that you’re not thinking about how this other person acted, or
whether they may have insulted or hurt you. “No hard feelings” means I’m not
mad at you. “Please don’t be mad at me” could also be a way of interpreting that
expression. Yuka says “There are no hard feelings on either side,” meaning
neither she nor Jamal is angry at the other.

Andy says, “You told me that the breakup was mutual.” A “breakup” is when you
end a romantic relationship, usually a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. You could
also use the term, however, for a marriage. “They broke up their marriage.” They
ended their marriage. They got a divorce. So, breakup could be used in that
case, too.

Andy says that Yuka told him that their breakup was mutual. Something that is
“mutual” (mutual) is something done by two people. You both agree. “The feeling
is mutual” is another expression we have. That means “I feel the same about that
person as that person feels about me.” It could be a positive thing. It could be a
negative thing. “Mutual” just means something done by two people or done at the
same time. Andy is saying that although Yuka told him that their breakup was
mutual, he always thought that Yuka still had a soft place in her heart for him.

“To have a soft place in your heart for someone” means, really, that you still have
kind feelings toward someone, possibly even romantic feelings. It’s not always
romantic. You could have a soft place in your heart for your nephew or for your
grandmother, but it might be also romantic in some instances, when you’re
talking, of course, about situations where that’s likely.

Andy then thought that Yuka may have still liked Jamal. Yuka says, “The truth is,
when we first broke up, I did harbor some hopes of the two of us getting back
together again.”
“To harbor” (harbor) means to continue to have hopes about something or fears
about something. It could be a positive or a negative, but to keep those feelings a
secret from other people. Yuka had these hopes right after Jamal and she first
broke up, “But that never came to pass,” she says. For something to “come to
pass” means for something to happen. “Never come to pass” means something
did not happen, did not occur.

English as a Second Language Podcast

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ESL Podcast 859 – Attending an Ex’s Wedding

These materials are copyrighted by the Center for Educational Development (2013). Posting of
these materials on another website or distributing them in any way is prohibited.

8

Yuka says that she and Jamal both moved on. “To move on” means to continue
with your life, not to worry about some past event or not to let it affect your
decisions about what you’re doing right now. When two people breakup in a
romantic relationship, it’s usually better for both of them to move on, to find
another boyfriend or another girlfriend, or a dog. Dogs sometimes can be much
better companions, much better friends than a boyfriend or a girlfriend.

Well, Yuka says that she and Jamal moved on and that she wishes him well. “To
wish someone well” means to hope that that person has a good life, to have good
feelings towards that person, to want that person to be happy.

Andy says, “Well, how was the wedding?” Yuka said, “It was very nice and
Jamal’s new wife seems to be a good match for him.” “To be a match” (match)
here means to have some of the same characteristics, some of the same
interests that the other person has or simply to be a good fit, to be two people
that are good together, they’re good for each other. They’re a good match. Andy
says, “And you didn’t mind seeing them together?” meaning “It didn’t bother you
to see your ex-boyfriend with his new wife?” Yuka says, “Not at all, especially
after I met Lorenzo.”

Now we find out why Yuka is not angry about going to Jamal’s wedding, because
she has a new boyfriend named Lorenzo. In English, Lorenzo is “Lawrence,”
which some of you may know is my middle name, but I am not dating Yuka. I
want everyone to know that - especially my wife!

Andy says, “Lorenzo, huh? You’ve been holding out on me.” “To hold out on
someone” is not to give that person all the information that you have, to keep
some things secret, not to tell the person everything you know. Andy says, “Do
tell.” This is a somewhat old-fashioned phrase, meaning that you want the other
person to give you the information, the (usually) exciting or interesting news that
they have to tell you. “Do tell” – “Please tell me” is what that expression means.

Now let’s listen to the dialog this time at a normal speed.

[start of dialog]

Andy: What did you do last weekend?

Yuka: I went to Jamal’s wedding.

Andy: Jamal?! Your ex Jamal?

English as a Second Language Podcast

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ESL Podcast 859 – Attending an Ex’s Wedding

These materials are copyrighted by the Center for Educational Development (2013). Posting of
these materials on another website or distributing them in any way is prohibited.

9

Yuka: Yes, that Jamal.

Andy: He had the nerve to invite you to his wedding?

Yuka: I actually thought it was nice of him to invite me. Whatever happened
between us years ago is water under the bridge. There are no hard feelings on
either side.

Andy: You told me that the breakup was mutual, but I always thought you still
had a soft place in your heart for him.

Yuka: The truth is, when we first broke up, I did harbor some hopes of the two of
us getting back together, but that never came to pass. We both moved on and I
wish him well.

Andy: Well, how was the wedding?

Yuka: It was very nice and Jamal’s new wife seems to be a good match for him.

Andy: And you didn’t mind seeing them together?

Yuka: Not at all, especially after I met Lorenzo.

Andy: Lorenzo, huh? You’ve been holding out on me. Do tell!

[end of dialog]

Our scriptwriter always wishes us well and the feeling is mutual.

From Los Angeles, California, I’m Jeff McQuillan. Thank you for listening. Come
back and listen to us again, here on ESL Podcast.

English as a Second Language podcast is written and produced by Dr. Lucy Tse,
hosted by Dr. Jeff McQuillan. Copyright 2012 by the Center for Educational
Development.