STRONA GŁÓWNA | DARMOWE KONTA E-MAIL | SEKS W POLSCE | MUZYKA MP3 | FORUM | ANKIETY He's dead, Jim. -- Leonard McCoy You may find after a time that having is not nearly as fine a thing as wanting. -- Mr. Spock Excuse me, there is a multi-legged creature crawling up your shoulder. -- Spock These days it's hard to look at a poodle without thinking what a good meal he would make. -- Steve Martin I don't know what I'd believe in if it weren't for my lucky astrology mood watch. -- Steve Martin And the Lord did grin. And the people did feed upon the lambs and sloths and orangutans and breakfast cereals and fruit bats... -- The Holy Book of Armaments You can't expect to wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you! -- Dennis the Peasant When you're away, I'm restless, lonely, wretched, bored, dejected; only here's the rub, my darling dear, I feel the same when you are near. -- Samuel Hoffenstein Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent. -- Salvor Hardin Never attribute to malice what can be adequately explained by stupidity. There are all kinds of ways to forestall graduation. Taking a term off, getting suspended, not completing courses, all of these are valid. -- Zonker Harris I am endevoring to construct a pneumonic memory circuit using stone knives and bear skins. -- Mr. Spock Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proved it correct, not tried it. -- Donald Knuth Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved. -- Mark Twain A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read. -- Mark Twain Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. -- Mark Twain There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about. -- Oscar Wilde I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter. -- Blaise Pascal I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones. -- Albert Einstein A witty saying proves nothing. -- Voltaire It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both incisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is interrupted by twelve dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper. -- Rod Serling I realize that I've made some very poor decisions recently, Dave, but I still have the utmost confidence in the mission. -- HAL 9000 Listen---strange women lying around in ponds, distributing swords is no basis for a system of government! Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony! -- Dennis the Peasant, Monty Python's "Holy Grail" Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. -- Arthur C. Clarke There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to be a coincidence. -- Jeremy S. Anderson Gentlemen! You can't fight in here; this is the war room! -- President Mercan Muffly, from _Dr. Strangelove_ `Go on, try weasel, try squirrel; it tastes just like chicken, it tastes just like chicken!' If it tastes just like chicken, why don't you gimme some damn chicken? -- Bob Goldthwait Hobbes, I guess we learned a valuable lesson from the duplicating mess...and that is, um...it's that, well...Okay, so we didn't learn any big lesson. Sue me. -- Calvin You don't want a television with knobs marked `volume' and `brightness' and `contrast.' You want a television with knobs marked `sex' and `violence' and `political bias.' -- Nicholas Negroponte, Director of MIT Media Lab No matter where you go, there you are. -- Buckaroo Bonzai We must always remember that if there were not one thing that was not on top of another thing, our group would be nothing more than a meaningless body of men gathered together for no good reason. -- President, Society for Putting Things on Top of Other Things I always prefered the outdoor life: hunting, fishing, slaughtering a few of God's creatures. -- Bevis the Lumberjack/Barber A rock pile ceases to be a rock pile the moment a single man contemplates it, bearing within him the image of a cathedral. -- Antoine de Saint-Exupery "Of course the whole point of the Dooms Day Machine is lost if you keep it a secret! Why didn't you tell the world?" -- Dr. Strangelove People tell you to give them your two cents worth, then they say they want a penny for your thoughts. Somewhere someone's making a penny. -- Steven Wright "We are in danger of flunking most heinously, Ted." -- Bill "Bill, Strange things are afoot at the Circle K." -- Ted In Germany they came first for the Communists and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, but I did not speak up because I was not a Jew. Then they came for the trade-unionists, but I did not speak up because I was not a trade-unionist. Then then they came for the Catholics, but I did not speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me and by that time there was no one left to speak up. -- Rev. Martin Niemoller You can either call me by name, pronouncing it 'Veert,' or call me by value, 'Worth.' -- Nickolas Wirth Unix is the answer, but only if you phrase the question very carefully. What would happen in a battle between an Enterprise security team, who always get killed soon after appearing, and a squad of Imperial Stormtroopers, who can't hit the broad side of a planet? -- Tom Galloway It makes you wonder, doesn't it? Just how normal are we? Just who are the people we nod our hellos to as we pass on the street? A rather good question to ask---particularly in the Twilight Zone. -- Rod Serling I am your king, and you'd better do what I say or else I can't be king anymore. -- B. Kliban The definition of diplomacy is saying "Nice doggie, nice doggie" until you can find a stick. -- Will Rodgers Money won't buy happiness, but it will pay the salary of a large research staff to study the problem. -- Bill Vaughan `Freeways are the cathedrals of our times,' someone said. Not me, but someone did. -- David Byrne "Back off man; I'm a scientist." -- Dr. Peter Venkman, _Ghostbusters_ Okay, we got a full tank of gas, a half pack of cigarettes, it's 90 miles to Chicago, it's dark out and we're wearing sunglasses. -- Elwood Blues, "The Blues Brothers" Try? Do or do not. There is no try. -- Master Yoda And remember, a day without sunshine is like...night! -- Steve Martin I've given you no word to keep, Admiral. From my perspective, you simply have no alternative. -- Kahn One of the best things people could do for their descendants would be to sharply limit the number of them. -- Olin Miller I wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence. There's a knob called 'brightness,' but it doesn't work. -- Gallagher The victor will always judge the defeated, and always find him guilty. -- Goering, during the Nuremberg Trials California is a fine place to live---if you happen to be an orange. -- Fred Allen Rule of thumb number 26: When in doubt, power cycle. -- Joel C. Corcoran I belong to no organized party. I'm a democrat. -- Will Rogers Old soldiers never die. Young ones do. Whenever I hear anyone arguing for slavery, I feel a strong impulse to see it tried on him personally. -- Abraham Lincoln You've never been out of school! You don't know what it's like out there! I've worked in the the private sector. They expect results. -- Dr. Raymond Stantz, from _Ghostbusters_ A boy without mischief is like a bowling ball without a liquid center. -- Homer Simpson I can no longer sit back and allow communist infiltration, communist indoctrination, communist subversion and the international communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids! -- Col. Jack Ripper, "Dr. Strangelove" Sun Microsystems: Where we DESIGN the Star Fighters that defend the frontier against Xur and the Ko-dan Armada. -- Steven C. Neighorn I don't practice what I preach because I'm not the kind of person I'm preaching to. -- Bob Dobbes, in Newsweek What? Over? Did you say 'over?' Nothing is over until we say it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no! -- John Belushi, from "Animal House" When aiming for the common denominator, be prepared for the occasional division by zero. You are beautiful and angular, and if you were a gas you would be inert. -- Dieter, from "Sprockets" [SNL] I mean, what's the point of going abroad if you're just another tourist carted 'round in buses surounded by sweaty, mindless oafs from Ketching and Boventry in their cloth caps and their bardigans... -- Mr. Smoketoomuch [Monty Python] STRONA GŁÓWNA | DARMOWE KONTA E-MAIL | SEKS W POLSCE | MUZYKA MP3 | FORUM | ANKIETY