Bad Choosers
By K.L. Casado
	The tired clich� has rung throughout the halls of maternity wards and law firms for
years.  "The Battle of the Sexes" as it is called; the everlasting struggle for supremacy
among men and women.  However, in the wider scope of events, how easy one's life is
would ideally be more important than how supreme one is.  Just ask Colin Powell or
maybe even a reincarnate Kurt Cobain.  It does not matter much if you're the top dog if
your a top dog with an uncomfortable life.  Maybe the important conflict is not which is
superior, but rather which gender proceeds through life more easily.  The question remains
then: Which?
	It would be impossible here, given the talents of even this writer, to name a clear
victor.  Scholars and philosophers for years have attempted to do so, yet no gender has
ever been definitely identified.  However, the clear victor here should be the female.  From
start to finish, with a layover at child birth, women tend to live easier lives.  Men run the
government.  Men go to war.  Men encounter more obligation inside and out of the
family.
	When looking at specific instances, life may equally challenge the two.  Both must
acquire food.  It is noteworthy that men generally eat more than women.  United States
law mandates that both complete a certain amount of schooling.  Both must toil through
the identity crisis of adolescence, followed by the mid-life crisis of aging, and lastly, the
mortality crisis in their elder years.  There is a great possibility that both must appropriate
wealth, provided they are not substinence farmers living in some foreign country that does
not tax (In which case, the man would slave away in the fields from dusk until dawn while
the woman would wash a dish, tie their eighteen ignorant children down to a chair and
show them the beauty of using a hula-hoe).  Men and women share many hardships
throughout the progression of their lives.  However, men have generally acknowledged
them and taken responsibility accordingly, while women have continually inflicted even
more troubles upon themselves.
	The familiar fancy of a fellow goes as follows:  The man works, makes a living to
support his family, provides food and shelter and accepts a position as the head of the
family.  A majority of jobs are not fulfilling.  A man's existence at work is scarcely a
spiritual uplift and ordinarily may be draining and exhausting.  Even more distressing is a
man's dependence on such, for bearing the responsibility for his naked family's hunger
might be a bit disheartening.  Exempting the guttedly-challenged, a man must also assume
leadership of his home, governing and supervising the affairs therein (an action necessary
as the dominant gender, but this topic shall be saved for a later time).
	  A man endures many calamities outside of family-lock as well.  The natural
pursuant of companionship is the man.  That is not to say that women do not do their
own, voluntary, share, but who is  typically the initial solicitor, delivers the flowers and
eventually looked upon for a proposal?  This aspect of male life is among the most trying
of all.  A man rarely finds emotional companionship here.  He serves as his own confidant
and council.  He must deal with his significantly stronger sexual tendencies, especially,
given today's society, in the workplace.  In the working world, an aspiring young man's
employment is most likely flushed down into the likes of McDonald's or High School
"Janitorial Administration."  Although, one must acknowledge the glaring exception of
those promoted to fry-boy or window washer.
	In direct contrast to the dismal drudgery endured by the conventional male, there is
the potential luxury of being a woman.  It is stereotypically a woman's position, while the
children go to school, to stay home, go shopping, watch television (including her favorite
soap operas), and do whatever comes to mind the rest of the day.  Theoretically, a
woman's day is complete and satisfying.  Should she feel sheltered or isolated, she is fully
welcome to venture out and about among society.  Should she feel incomplete or hollow,
she is wholly able to stay home and reinforce her roots and foundation.  A woman may
indulge herself at a local mall or in a gallon of ice cream.  In contrast to men, women are
known to find serenity in accessible material goods, such as a new blouse or fresh shade of
lipstick.  Men, on the other hand, want a Ferrari or they want to cry like a little girl. 
Women are more easily pleased.  A woman's obligation to the household is minimal. 
Thanks to modern conveniences, she no longer has to cook.  Rather, dinner may be
defrosted.  A couple of buttons need pushing and so ended is her daily onus.  Breakfast for
the kids?  Pop Tarts and Nutri-Grains, maybe an egg if she feels generous.  The invention
of paper plates and plastic silverware (bare hands may be a bit barbaric and uncleanly) has
put an end to washing dishes, given that whatever was defrosted did not come with one. 
The washer and dryer have reduced the laundering of garments from washboard and suds
to dropping them into a basin and turning a knob.  Furthermore, once the children reach
five or six years of age, they can be expected to wash their own clothing.  To maintain a
sanitary environment, a woman might find an annual house cleaning necessary.
	Before marriage, women can enjoy an accommodating and comfortable lifestyle. 
If not, at least one which is more agreeable than that of men.  At this stage, a large
majority of women are approached and sought after for their young, attractive bodies,
keen ability to defrost, and companionship (in no apparent order of importance).  Such
instances are undoubtedly flattering to women.  Consequently, morale is substantially
boosted.  Those not routinely sought after, admittedly, may be paling in self-esteem, but
remunerate their grievances by eating however much of whatever they so choose.  Women
are known to have considerably more intimate relations with friends, especially out of
wedlock.  Those individuals serve as emotional outlets, an opulence foreign to a vast
majority of men.  Not only does this explain man's extensive knowledge of beer, but also
why women are more emotionally sound and content at this point.  A female, contrary
once again to a male, has no trouble financially supporting herself in a respectable manner
by recording telephone messages and brewing coffee, officiating senior citizen
shuffleboard competitions, or possibly exploiting men for their natural inclinations at a
local entertainment tavern.
	The facility of the woman's life trickles down from marriage and pre-marital life all
the way to adolescence.  Boys must endure the painstaking and humiliating transition to
manhood.  The male cannot hide his cracking speech or his sullied lip.  Undoubtedly, this
will be noticed and vocally editorialized at home.  "Hey, look and listen, Mom!"  Father
will exclaim.  "The boy's hit puberty!"  Any man can attest to the wretchedness of this
situation, or perhaps the time he forgot to lock the bathroom and his little sister just had to
take a shower.  He must also request shaving equipment, a guaranteed public
announcement, one that might as well be published in the classifieds.  Females, on the
other hand, are far more sheltered and protected at home.  "Aw, look, honey," Mother will
sigh, "Your daughter is blooming (heaven forbid she receive the ever so viscious
"developing")  into a beautiful, young lady."  She asks, as discreetly as a Central
Intelligence operation, for an extra piece of clothing, a piece of cotton, and a pill.  No one
ever knows the difference.
	School arises as an even more dire situation.  For every boy except the mutant
freak who was done in sixth grade, the junior high locker room is a merciless and perverse
place.  The heartless jokes there do not even meet appropriateness standards of this paper. 
Females do not fare quite as badly.  Although I can not admit to any first hand knowledge
of the junior high girls locker room, it is my understanding that as long as one maintains
healthy and clean hygienic habits, they are not harassed, at least not to the extent of those
across the gymnasium.  
	The troubles for women arise when they refuse to accept the comfortable position
as people with easy lives and choose to complicate them.  Many women choose to assume
authority in their household.  This is not necessary.  The men, power hungry and
dictatorial when feasible, often can perform the task adequately themselves and sometimes
have no problem accepting this duty.  For many, there is no true need to work if they are
married.  An immeasurable amount of women choose to cook for their family, routinely! 
Some even proceed to prepare breakfast.  In today's society, food is readily purchased,
many times, for a price less than cooking.  "Microwaveable Dinners, The Wave of the
Future!"  the announcements read.  They choose to make use of actual dishes.  Sheer
foolishness!  Microwaveable dinners come on disposable trays.  No dishes, no mess, no
nothing.  Women choose to adopt the washing of their family's clothing as yet another
unnecessary chore.  As if clothing needed routine washing, they do not even force their
children, grown-up or not, to do it themselves, further instilling ideals of discipline in
them.  Women are irresponsible in many of the choices they make.  
	Despite already thrusting hardships upon themselves, they decide to go further. 
Women routinely maintain the cleanliness of their house.  The reason for doing so
confounds all laws of practicality.  Dirty houses are more comfortable.  Whenever
something is needed, one can look on the ground somewhere.  It is done usually to
improve the parental image, whether that image be a guest's or their own.  There are few
guests, it would seem, who would be worth cleaning your house for.  If one receives more
respect for tidiness, the source of that respect needs to be very closely examined.  As far
as personal image goes, it would seem practical to base one's image of herself on
something maybe more significant than having one's clothes picked up and the dust off
one's piano.  The sentiment that women offer extraneous credence to self image and thus
bring troubles upon themselves is further reflected with the habitual use of cosmetics. 
This is not necessary.  Especially to household prone women, cosmetics are wasted energy
and money.  Unbetrothed women not applying cosmetics are not always avoided, but
rather pursued even more vehemently by men who find practicality attractive.  Even worse
is the state of mind dedicated cosmetic users put themselves in when unable to apply them. 
"I look like crap," they'll whine.  Whose job is it to r