4 Marta

Teenage mood $mn$$ - sonie advice for parenf $

If it’s not “You just don’t care about me?”, it’s “Why can’t you leave me alone for once in my life!” A teenager’s mood swings can affect the whole

family.

Adolescence is a complex period of transition and mood swings are normal. Concerns about identity, pressures from school and worries about appearance and friendship are just some of the things that preoccupy adolescents. Add to this, the ebb and flow of hormones and you get a very volatile^:' mix; happy and outgoing one day, morose and depressed the next.

Don’t take it personally

If she’s having a bad day, the family is the most available target for her fru-stration and anger.Try not to take it to heart. Blaming parents can be an easy way out for an adolescent who’s having a rough time. Empathise with your daughter -many of the changes that she’s going through are things that you’ve experienced yourself, though she mayfind it hard to believe.

Take a step back and try not to overreact. Arguing back, shouting or criticising her only malces things worse. You may feel angry but avoid rising to the bait. Let the situation blow over until she cools down. If you find her behaviour unacceptable, discuss it calmly later.

Is there something bothering her?

Is it possible that there is something behind your daughter’s snappiness? Could she be worried or pressured about something? Ask her if there is something trou-bling her. If she wants to talk to you about it, make it elear that you are always willing to listen to her. Remember that adolescents can be very secretive and withdrawn, so don’t feel rejected if she doesmt want to open up to you. Take time out together to talk.

State your case

The family is an easy target, she knows you will still love and accept her even if she loses her temper with you. It’s very likely that outside the family, your daughter Controls her temper and is far morę easy-going. If s not unreasonable to expect her to exert some control over her temper at home and not excuse evervthing because she’sateenager.

Explain the effect that her moods are having on the rest of the family. Tell her that although you understand her situation, she is still part of the family and if she shouts and snaps, it makes the atmosphere unpleasant for everyone. State your case; say that you expect her to show morę control and not lose her temper so easily.

Adapted from www.raisingkids.co.uk