The Heat of the Night - Section I

By Emma Elizabeth Ann

Section I, Next Section

Part One ~

Posted on Thursday, 1 April 1999

~Ellie's Story~

Chapter 1

Every dawn on the Kenyan plains, a spectacular and ancient miracle takes place. The darkened horizon begins to glow - almost imperceptibly at first - with a delicate yellow light. Like magic, the glow seems to seep through the sky, slowly spreading warmth and illuminating the world. Conventional time is replaced by a rhythm far more ancient as the sun rises, slipping quickly over the horizon and bathing the endless brown plains with ever-intensifying golden light.

Such pure, soul-cleansing beauty, and me too exhausted even to turn my head. I sat in the dew-wet grass, groaning and swearing softly to myself, with my face buried in my arms and every muscle aching, past caring that the moisture was seeping through my jeans. Jumbled memories of the night I had just spent swam blurred and dark through my sluggish mind - stress, pressure, frustration and exhaustion featuring as common themes throughout.

There was some consolation, at least - the tiny cheetah cub with the broken rib which we had fought so hard to save was sleeping now, and the prognosis was looking good. I don't know how I could have endured it if the little creature had died after all of my desperate efforts.

I was in no mood to look on the bright side, however. When you worked on an under-staffed wildlife reserve, taking a day off was not an option, sleepless night or no. And the early cool of morning was already fading as the dew evaporated in preparation for another scorching day.

"Hey! Ellie!" I recognized the shouting voice as that of Sam Forster, the head ranger on the Reserve, and with a conscious effort I raised my head and looked around. Sam emerged from the small cluster of staff cabins and facilities, and crossed the rough, tawny-grassed ground that separated us. Sam could have been anywhere between 40 and 60. His face was brown and weather-creased, and his squinting blue eyes gave the impression that he was always on the verge of giving you a friendly wink. He was generally slow to anger, but once aroused, his temper was infamous. His work was his great love, and incompetence was his pet hate.

"Morning, Sam," I greeted him with a weary smile as his burly form lumbered up. He didn't smile, but he ruffled my hair in an absent, fatherly sort of way. I bit back a snappy comment, because I knew he didn't mean in it patronisingly, and besides, he was just as tired as I was.

"Ellie," he mumbled, as if the 'morning' part was just too much effort. "Last night was a tough one. You did a good job."

"Thanks." I replied, he just stood there, nearly asleep on his feet. I empathized completely.

"Still no clues as to who shot the mother?" I asked presently.

Sam shook his head dismally. "Not a sausage."

"She was the third this month!" I cried, frustrated.

"I know. And Jonathan tells me the Massais have discovered two more elephants this morning."

"Dead?"

"Of course."

"Poachers?"

"Yep."

"$#!T."

"My sentiments exactly."

I punched the hard brown earth in frustrated fury. I was a vet - my whole life went into saving these lives and yet other members of my race seemed to be killing them off faster than I could heal them. I felt like I was fighting a losing battle - wasting my time.

Sam seemed to understand, although I made no attempt to voice my feelings. He sighed. "Yeah, we all feel a bit like that sometimes." I didn't look at him. He sighed again.

"Well, I guess it must be about time for you to get off your butt and hit the road."

I groaned, and recalled with a renewed wave of exhaustion that this was the morning I was supposed to drive to the DC's office in town - four horrible hours away by ute - and pick up some American student who had arranged to study at the Kalerian wildlife reserve station. We were in desperate need of qualified staff. I working on the station because of my veterinary qualifications, and this student was supposed to have some experience in the handling of African big game.

I was stuck with the job of picking him up because I was the only member of staff with a car capable of making the journey there and back without breaking down.

It was soon after the rains, and as I rattled my way into the main street of town I was feeling grimly grateful that I had gotten myself bogged only twice on the way. Usually I managed a much higher figure.

I marched into the D.C.'s official quarters caked with mud, muscles aching and my head throbbing with heat and weariness. I was met with the unhesitating white smile of Charlie, the D.C.'s native secretary-cum-assistant, and I was shown straight to the office.

I stood in the open doorway. No one noticed me straight away, so I snatched a few minutes to compose myself before I announced my presence.

Lucas, the well-meaning, if rather pompous District Commissioner, was seated at his desk, and was just going over the staff list at the wild life reserve with a dark-haired young man who sat with his back to me.

The young man caught my attention immediately, and I noted his broad shoulders and straight back appreciatively. You don't get out much when you live 600km from the nearest metropolis.

Suddenly, the man interrupted Lucas in a voice not as deep as I had expected, but with an attractive and pleasantly fluid accent.

Lucas had just reached my name on his list.

"Elizabeth Benson? Elizabeth?" He spoke incredulously, with just the faintest hint of amusement. "They have women working out here?"

Lucas did not respond, but his face turned a little red and his eyes bulged in apprehension. He had noticed me in the doorway, and he knew my pet-hates - and my temper - only too well. I was struggling to keep my rage contained.

"Gnh - " managed Lucas.

"I mean, what can a female do in a place like this?" The stranger continued, oblivious. "Oh, I respect women's rights and all, but surely this is not a place for weaknesses. An organization that performs such a grueling role in such a harsh country as this has no room for femininity."

To my surprise, my voice was diffused with sweetness as I took advantage of the ensuing pause in conversation.

"Good afternoon, Lucas. Pray introduce me to this budding young intellect, with his fascinating opinions on the role of women in contemporary Africa."

The young man started and turned around. I was too angry to appreciate his arresting physical attractiveness, but I noticed with satisfaction that he at least had the grace to blush.

He stood up hastily and offered me his hand.

"Will Darcy," his voice was calm and friendly, despite his embarrassment. "Pleased to meet you."

I gripped the proffered hand so hard that I heard some of the bones crack.

"Ellie Benson," I responded, "The Kalerian wildlife reserve's resident useless female."

Lucas gulped, and tried to put on a cheerful face. He succeed in looking remarkably like a discomforted fish.

"Well, Mr. Darcy and I were just finishing up, Ellie, so if you like, I'll call Charlie, and he'll help you get Mr. Darcy's gear into your ute."

We made our way back onto the street where Charlie had already arranged Will's luggage. I stepped forward to take the largest trunk and pack it first, when Will moved in front of me and suggested that I let him take it.

I cut him off with icy sarcasm.

"Oh that's right, I keep on forgetting that I'm an incapacitated woman. Well thank you kindly for your attentions, good sir, but I can bloody well do without them."

He backed off without a word, and I heaved the case into the ute. A tiny part of me regretted speaking so harshly, but there was nothing to be done now. I got behind the wheel and Will climbed into the passenger seat.

We drove back to the camp in silence.

And so it began.

Chapter 2

Posted on Friday, 2 April 1999

The horizon was burning up. Orange light flared across the deepening dusk, but the heat of the day was fading by very gradual, almost imperceptible degrees, as the sweltering air was soothed by a light cool breeze.

I stood outside what we laughingly call the Research Lab, (it was really just a small demountable), and let the basketball in my hands drop, then rebound off the hard ground back to my fingertips. The dull, heavy beat of the pounding ball was somehow soothing to me. Every now and then I paused to take aim, and potted the ball in an old rusting hoop which some member of the camp staff had mounted on the outer Lab wall one year. I was grateful to him, whoever he was.

I usually liked these times. The Lab was a little removed from the central cluster of buildings on the Reserve, and all the busy clangs and voices of the camp were slightly muffled, becoming nothing more than a comforting murmur in the distance.

The ball thudded again.

Lately, however, it seemed like the troubles of the world were falling on my shoulders. The escalating crisis with the poachers, for example. And the finances of the Reserve. That wasn't going to be such a problem anymore, I reminded myself, but I bit my lip and wondered briefly whether the price being paid for that financial security wasn't too high.

I took another shot at the goal. It rattled the hoop, but missed. I retrieved the ball and went into a brief shooting/rebounding frenzy, letting the quick expenditure of energy clear my mind of all the gnawing worries. It had been a tough few days.

A sudden voice behind me and I spun around, clutching the ball. No one had ever disturbed me here before, but even so, I surprised myself with the highly-strung nature of my own reaction. I hadn't realised my nerves were so taut.

It was Will Darcy, dressed in clean jeans and a white shirt, obviously straight from a shower. His tousled curls were still damp and I could just sense the cool scent of his aftershave. For a moment, the scent cast a wave of dizziness over me, but I blinked quickly and the sensation disappeared. My eyes flicked over man opposite me once more. He was, in short, the perfect opposite to me - I was still dressed in my grubby work jeans and an old green shirt, my face flushed from my exercise. For some reason, it rankled that he should see me like this while he stood there looking like a damn model in a magazine shoot. What was he doing there anyway? Probably making a critique on my playing style, knowing him.

I was tired, and not thinking terribly clearly. Some childish part of me was angry that he should have the audacity to invade my personal space during my personal time. Especially looking like that when I was feeling insecure enough already. Bloody inconsiderate!

Over the two and a half years I had been on the Reserve, I had somehow come to claim this time and this place as mine and mine alone, and the rest of the staff had come to know it and respect it. Of course, Will had no way of knowing that. Anyway, with all factors combined, the look I gave him was most decidedly hostile.

He met my cold stare without a flicker, and I'm sure I saw the corner of his mouth lift, just for a moment, as he calmly accepted the challenge I was offering.

"You're pretty good," he commented, impervious to the look in my eye and smiling.

Flattery will get you nowhere, I thought, determined to resist the charm he was radiating from every pore. I turned back to the hoop and took another shot. Perfect goal.

"For a girl, I guess I am." I replied coolly, to show him that I was certainly not willing to forget what he had said when we had first met.

I felt some muscles in my shoulders tense as I waited for an affronted remark, or perhaps a startled silence. To my surprise, all I heard was a low chuckle. "Yeah," he agreed, and I could hear the smile in his voice, "For a girl, you're not too bad at all."

Shocked, I turned back to face him again. His face was quite serious, but his eyes were laughing at me! Incensed, I bounced the ball at him as hard as I could, and he caught it easily.

"OK, you're on," I said sharply, "One on one. Prove yourself."

He looked from me to the ball in his hands, then back again. Then he shrugged, and stepped forward.

Suddenly we were on. The moment he began to play, the energy started crackling between us. In the first few minutes he surprised me by taking three goals before I managed any, but as I warmed to his style, I was soon gaining on his score. For a while we were battling on even, both intensely seeking the upper hand. It was just a game, but for Will and I, it quickly became more than a game, as if we each had something to prove to each other.

Half an hour later, the fiery orange sunset had faded into a blend of dark, bruised purples and reds, and it was too dark to play anymore.

For a moment or two, we both collapsed against the Lab wall, catching our breaths. As soon as I could speak, and with more than a little triumph in my voice, I informed him of the score.

"38 to 34, Darcy. I win."

He looked up, then leaned over and shook me by the hand. "Congratulations," he said sincerely, "It was a good game. I hope we can play again sometime." Then he collapsed back against the Lab wall and looked out at the brightening stars.

I regarded him with a strange mixture of admiration and annoyance. I had wanted something more than that. I wanted to prove to him that I was equal to, if not better than him, and that being a woman did not make me any less capable in my job. Had I really expected that winning a basketball game could prove all of that? It didn't seem to mean anything to him at all.

I bit my lip, then stood up hurriedly. "Good night, Will Darcy."

He was sitting comfortably now, his hands linked behind his head as he leaned against the wall and watched the sky. His gaze flicked back to my face as I spoke, and I turned to walk away.

"Good night," he said replied easily, and I was certain I could feel his warm, laughing eyes boring into my back as I made my rather stiff retreat. When I snatched a look back over my shoulder, however, I saw that his attention had turned back the stars, glittering ever more brilliantly in the darkening night sky.

Chapter 3

Posted on Sunday, 4 April 1999

One evening, about a week after Will's arrival, I knocked on the door of Sam Forster's little office and let myself in, only to find him at sitting at his desk with his head in his hands. His elbows, I noted, were resting on the Reserve's financial accounts, open on the desktop.

"Sam! Are you OK?" My voice seemed to wake him out of his reverie. He looked up.

"Ah, Ellie," he said, and tried to give me one of his old smiles, but once again, the effort fell flat. "Is there anything you wanted?"

"Oh, just something about the Stable arrangements, it's not important... Sam, is something the matter?"

He opened his mouth and took in a breath to lie, then released it, perceiving from my expression that I was not about to be fobbed off with a half-hearted fib. "Things aren't too good, El." He told me wearily, "If we can't convince the government to help us - even a little - with funding this place, then I'm afraid we may have to start laying people off."

I was shocked. "Laying people off?! But we're so short of man-power as it is!"

Sam nodded. I wasn't telling him anything he didn't already know.

I hesitated. "Sam..." He looked at me, expectant. "Sam, you shouldn't worry so much. If certain promises are made good on... Well, let's just say things should get better. A lot better."

Sam looked torn. "Are you sure you know what you're doing, Ellie? It's a pretty dangerous game you're playing."

I nodded with a firmness I did not feel. "I love this place as much as you do, Sam." I told him softly, "And besides, it's not as though I don't - "

The phone on Sam's desk buzzed shrilly, cutting me off. So I just smiled reassuringly, and left him to his caller. I stepped outside and blinked in the bright midday sunshine, then I made my way toward the Stables, on the far side of the station.

We called it the Stables, which had struck me as a very strange name when I first arrived. 'The Stables' sounded so English, so "country manor"-ish. The big old barn-like structure in the middle of the African savanna could not have made a more contrary statement.

Inside the old building it was much cooler, and dimly lit. The shadows were deep and velvety, and never threatening. I had sat many long vigils on the floor of the Stables, often right through the night. It was divided into many stalls of varying size, and in these stalls were placed any animals being held for research or treatment. At this time of day, thin bands of dusty yellow sunlight streamed through gaps in the slats, and most of the animals slept.

I shut the door quietly behind me, and made my way carefully up the aisle, seeking the final stall - the one which held our fast-growing cheetah cub. She had rewarded all my hard work ten fold by proving that not only was she ready to fight for her recovery, but she had a gorgeous personality.

I reached the stall I had sought, and my fingers found the latch on the gate. I swung it open, and stepped into the shadowy recess.

When I realised I was not alone, I could not contain a startled gasp.

Will looked up at me from his seat in the corner of the stall. In his lap lay the cub, sprawled on her back and purring blissfully, a sound rather like a domestic cat on steroids. Will smiled.

"Hello, Ellie," he said softly, as if the kit were a sleeping baby he might disturb if he raised his voice too loud.

"What are you doing here?" I blurted out, then blushed at my unnecessary rudeness. I couldn't help it. Will Darcy disconcerted me, and I didn't like it one bit.

Ever patient, Will only smiled again. "I'm becoming acquainted with my work mates. Most of the two-legged ones seem very agreeable, and I'm beginning to like the ones on four legs just as much."

"Most of the two-legged ones?" I had to ask.

His eyes sparkled at me in the darkness. "I'm working on it." His attention dropped back to the pathetically blissful bundle of straw-coloured fur in his lap. "Does she have a name?" He asked.

"Spritz," I answered shortly, wondering what excuse I could use to escape from his company. How had he got Spritz to sleep in his lap like that, anyway? Before now, she had only ever trusted me. Hmph.

"What happened to her?"

"Her mum was shot by poachers. We found her with a broken rib after we disturbed hyenas who had found the abandoned den of cubs. She was the only one out of a litter of six that survived."

Will seemed surprised. "Abandoned, attacked by hyenas and left with a broken rib? She survived all that? She must have had a good carer. I didn't know we employed anyone full-time for that sort of job."

"We don't. I operated on the rib, and I raised her."

He frowned. "You? But you've got a full-time job on your hands just around the Reserve! A cub like this is like a baby!"

I shrugged, and unconsciously ran a tired hand over my eyes in remberance of all the nights of broken sleep, and exhaustingly full days. "I raised Spritz. Someone had to care for her. So I did."

"That's pretty impressive."

"Yes it is, especially considering the handicap of my gender."

Damn. Why couldn't I just let that issue go? It was so childish of me to keep throwing it back in his face like this. We didn't get along, so fine, leave it at that. It was so unlike me to hold on to a grudge like this. I didn't understand it. I didn't understand anything about me anymore.

For the first time, Will exhibited just a tiny bit of discomfort. "Yes," he cleared his throat slightly. "I don't think I ever apologised properly for that original comment. It got us off to a pretty bad start."

"Ding, that's correct, but I'm sorry, there's no cash prize."

Will gave a low whistle. "Sarcastic little soul, aren't we?"

I put my hands on my hips, ready to blast him for that comment too. Just in time, I got a hold on myself. What was I doing? OK, so I was having a difficult time right now, but what right did I have to take it all out on Will Darcy? After all, I hardly knew the guy. He deserved a second chance.

I let out the breath I had taken, and slid down the opposite wall of the stall. "Sorry," I said humbly, "You must think I'm an utter bitch. I'm not usually like this. It's just that I - " I stopped myself quickly, and put a hand to my forehead, then let it drop and turned my gaze to Will. I smiled at him in the darkness. "Anyway, like I said, I'm sorry too. We'll have to work together quite a lot in the future, and we all have to do our best to get along. I hope we can be friends."

"Yeah. Yes, I hope so too." There was a funny tilt in his voice, but when I looked up I could see no trace of it on his face.

"So, Ellie," he continued, the humour having returned to his voice, "Where are you from?"

And so I started to tell him all about my family in Australia, and about how I ended up in Africa. He listened, then told me something of his childhood in America, and how he learned his love of animals off his father, who had lived just long enough to see his son enter the kind of profession he would have loved to have taken on himself.

To my delight, I discovered I could make him laugh almost as much as he could me. For a good hour, we managed to avoid argument through animated conversation. Inevitably, however, the tension returned.

"Do you enjoy your job?" It was a harmless question.

"Yes, most of the time," I laughed, "But there are always times when the going gets really tough that I curse the day I decided to become a vet."

"You do an incredible job, but how do you cope with the really heavy labour?"

My smile dropped away. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, handling the really big game; lifting; carrying. The really manual stuff."

"OK, so we're back to this," I said slowly, keeping a very close reign on my temper, "I concede that on a scale of sheer brute strength, a man might have a small advantage over me..."

"But that's almost all there is out here," he interrupted, "Brute strength pitted against brute strength. Sun. Dirt. Sweat." He shook his head. "I'm sorry if I offend you. I respect women - my mother was stronger than my dad in a lot of ways - but I still believe that this line of work is just incompatible with a woman's constitution."

I couldn't believe I was hearing him right. "A woman's constitution?" I echoed, incredulous. "What, do you think I'll faint in the heat, or cry if I break a nail, or require smelling salts if a lion bares its teeth at me? What are you trying to say?"

"Just what I have said: that in my experience, for all their competence in other areas, women just don't fulfill the same role out in this type of country that a man could in the same position."

I pushed myself into a standing position and stalked to the doorway. A small voice in my head warned my that I was probably over-reacting again, but I didn't care. I turned back, my voice shaking with anger. "If I were a man, I suppose I'd have to hit you for that. That'd be tough. That'd be a fine display of that testosterone-soaked brute strength you seem to think so essential to everyday survival out here. But I'm not a man, so I'll pass on that option. You are quick to offer friendship, I notice, but I think you should work a little harder at keeping it. All that I'm going to do is tell you what a pity it is that you feel the way you do. If it weren't for that one tragic flaw in your personality, you might almost have qualified as a reasonable person. What a shame. Good bye, Will Darcy!"

And as the latch clicked shut behind me, I felt all of the anger I had felt just a moment before drain away, and I put my face in my hands.

So much for making an effort to get along!

But there was something undefinable about Will Darcy that made me just a little bit afraid. Of him or of myself? That, I did not know.

Chapter 4

Posted on Monday, 5 April 1999

It seems that whenever I manage to establish myself with any kind of dignity, something happens to tear my carefully constructed facade into shreds. It would have been unrealistic to expect anything different in the case of Will Darcy.

The Kalerian Wildlife Reserve was quite large, even relatively speaking. Yet our camp station was disproportionately small, and ridiculously under-staffed. Thus, when Sam called a general meeting and presented us with a new Patrol roster, I bit back my exclamations at being partnered with Will Darcy. Just my luck, I thought, but I didn't want to draw attention to the strained relations between myself and the new man. What if someone was to guess... I bit my lip, and sat tight.

Yet I couldn't resist snatching a quick look to see what Will's reaction was to the announcement. Unfortunately, he caught my glance and threw me a mock salute, accompanied by a teasing smile. I quickly averted my gaze, then wished I hadn't. Damn it!

And so it was written: Ellie and Will, first Patrol, Eastern Quarter, Friday the eleventh.

I was up at dawn, wanting to be the first to the ute - the assigned meeting point for Patrol. As I approached the old vehicle, however, I saw through the thinning early morning mists that someone was already there and waiting for me. I paused and swore softly. There was nothing to do but to lift my chin and keep walking. I would just have to get through it.

Will climbed behind the wheel of the ute. I decided not to question it, and accordingly positioned myself in the passenger seat.

The purpose of the routine Patrol was basically a weekly check up, making sure that all was as it should be on the Reserve. The standard route for the Eastern Quarter was a winding dirt road that carved a dusty path through the savannas all the way to the outer boundary, marked by the Husani water falls. The Reserve was too big to tour everything in one day, so Sam divided it into quarters and they were checked in a random order.

I was concentrating on the grasslands we passed, looking for signs of an injured or diseased animal that could be treated, or for any signs of human interference that should not have been present - that is, poachers.

The rough, muddy roads combined with the roar of the diesel engine made conversation impossible, but after about two hours of bumping and sliding around inside the violently vibrating ute, Will suddenly slammed on the brakes.

Unprepared for the sudden halt, I was thrown forward and bumped my forehead against the dashboard. I directed a death-stare in his direction, but it was a wasted effort because he was already clambering out of the cab.

Alarmed, I followed suit, and ran to catch up with him. He had stopped at the foot of a large clump of shrubbery, and was crouching to examine something that looked like a large lump of grey rock, partially hidden by the long grass. Moving closer, I saw that the rock was moving slightly, and when it released a throaty squeal I recognised it for what it was: a newborn white rhino, one of the rarest of all Africa's big game.

My first reaction was one of excited wonder, which was quickly replaced by concern that the baby was not moving away from us - perhaps it was injured somehow. But an answering bellow from the shrubbery wiped my mind of all these reflections as I realised that Mama was obviously not far away, and there are few creatures quite as maternally protective as the mother rhino.

"Will!" I screamed, although he needed no warning. He backed away from the bushes so fast that he stumbled and fell on his back, just as the mother's hulking grey form came charging into view in defence of her baby.

"Stay down, stay down!!" I cried. I was further away from the furious rhino than Will, and had some chance of a get-away, while any move from him would see him impaled on the creature's tusk, or trampled by under its fatal bulk. Picking up on my voice, the rhino ignored Will's unmoving form and turned toward me.

Living in Africa and working as a vet had taught me one or two things about the native wildlife, and one thing I had had impressed on me a thousand times was never to annoy a buffalo, a bull elephant or a rhino - but rhinos especially. They are temperamental, unpredictable, violent, insecure and almost blind. They are also impossibly fast on their feet when the need arises.

Before the mother rhino even began her furious charge, I turned on my heel and started to sprint for the ute. Suddenly it seemed a very long way away. The earth was vibrating under my feet, and I knew the lumbering beast must be gaining on me. I could hear its laboured breathing right behind me, and even as I threw myself behind the car I was expecting to feel its horn pierce my back.

For a moment I lay in the grass, stunned to find myself still in one piece. The momentum of the rhino had carried her some distance past me, but she had not given up and was slowing down to turn back for another pass.

Fear spurred me into action once more, and I scrambled to my feet, wrenched open the cab door, and started the ignition before I was even inside. Again the ground was shaking, the grey bulk was looming... Shoving the engine into first gear, I slammed my foot down on the accelerator and the car roared forward out of the path of the charging rhino.

She wheeled after me, but the change in direction cost her much momentum. Thwarted for the second time, the rhino seemed to reconsider her options. I stopped the ute and watched her carefully, hoping she would decide to call it a draw and return to her calf, when I remembered with a shock that Will was still in danger of re-igniting the mother's rage. My heart was pounding as my eyes left the recovering rhino for a moment to scan the grass near the bushes for any sign of my companion.

The passenger door clicked open and I jumped, every nerve taught.

Will grinned boyishly from the seat beside me. "Nice moves back there, partner. Let's not hang around though, huh? This party's getting rough."

I was still in shock, but I found myself grinning back. I sensed immediately that the last few minutes had subtly altered something of the rivalry present in our relationship.

"For once I agree with you," I shouted over the noise of the engine as we roared away, "But you do realise, don't you, that partners are equals in all situations?"

His grin disappeared and he met my gaze seriously.

"Yes. I realise that." There was a small pause before he added: "Thank you." And I knew he meant it.

I smiled at him, and he returned my smile. My heart lurched, and for the first time it struck me right to core just how good-looking he really was. Blind to things right in front of my eyes, I pondered. What an effect our emotions have over the truth. I was not yet able to appreciate the irony of my own thoughts.

Chapter 5

Being friends at last with Will Darcy was an unprecedented experience. At twenty six, I was the third youngest staff member at the Station. Below me were Matt and Gem, two African hands in their late teens. They were the closest to me in age, but we never really developed more than a passing acquaintance. At twenty eight, Will Darcy's arrival spelled the end of this loneliness.

And I had been lonely. I just hadn't recognised it until now. At the Station I was surrounded by friends, but they were more like an extended family of uncles than anything else. But now there was Will, and he was anything but avuncular! He was lively and active and fun to be around. He helped me and laughed with me, and understood what I meant when I said I was sad to miss the social life being enjoyed by my old school friends back in Australia. Every day was that little bit brighter because he was there. We were mates. And that's all we are, I reassured myself, lying awake in bed some nights, We're just good friends.

Unfortunately, this Utopic truce could not last forever. To explain the circumstances of our second break-down, I must introduce Jason de Bourgh.

Jason was the richest man under thirty in all of East Africa. Jason was the most handsome and sought-after bachelor in eight countries. Jason was an up-and-coming political prodigy.

And Jason was the man who had paid for the ring that I wore on my engagement finger.

I had been doing some very heavy work during the first weeks of the rainy season - it was always a busy time of year on the plains. It was also a very dirty time of year, during which mud infiltrated every aspect of camp life. This was why I had not worn my engagement ring while working around the station. But when Jason made one of his rare and brisk phone calls to say that he would be arriving at the reserve within the next twenty four hours for a quick 'stop over', I was careful to slip it on in the morning.

The diamond was huge - so large I was sometimes a little embarrassed by it. But as I approached the mess hut for breakfast that morning, I was beset by confusion as I realised suddenly that I did not want Will to see it. Another thought struck me. Will had become practically my best friend over the past month. I had done everything with him, told him my whole life story... And yet I had never once mentioned Jason. How could that never once have come up? So strange. So very strange. I pushed the inexplicable notion away, and joined the camp staff at the long, cluttered table.

I smiled my greetings, and took a place opposite and slightly to the left of Will. He saw me come in and nodded his acknowledgment.

"Will you come out to the back-sheds with me today?" He inquired casually, some minutes after I sat down. "There's some things I need to do out there. Some elephants have been causing damage to the water tanks again. I think your advice might come in handy."

"Come on, you can say it," I teased, "Admit it: you haven't got a clue about plumbing and you're scared witless of elephants, so you need to drag some extraordinarily talented individual along with you. I know the truth."

Will grinned, and joined in the game. "OK, OK, you caught me out. But I'm having terrible difficulties locating any extraordinarily talented individuals around here, so in the end I just had to resort to - " he broke off in mid-sentence. I traced his gaze and realised it was trained on my hand, which was resting lightly on the table top. Or to be more accurate, on the ring which glittered ostentatiously in the morning light. I tucked my hand away in flustered embarrassment.

With unlucky timing, Benjamin, an experienced tracker and handy-man about the camp, chose just that moment to call out down the table: "And how is that young man of yours, Ellie?"

Feeling slightly ill for no clear reason, I cleared my throat and made myself speak.

"He's just fine, Ben. He'll be here today, in fact. You'll get to meet him."

"And how long you been engaged for now? When exactly are you two getting hitched, may I ask?"

I risked a look at Will, still feeling incredibly reluctant to talk about Jason in front of him. He was still staring at the same place the ring had been. His face was completely blank.

"Two months, Ben," I hesitated, then added, "Probably."

And that was that. I left the table without eating.

Will did not mention the water tanks again.

Chapter 6

Posted on Tuesday, 6 April 1999

Jason arrived that day, right on one PM and by helicopter, no less.

The entire camp staff gathered to see the chopper land, holding on to hats and breathing through cloth to filter the dust that was stirred up by the whirring blades. I sensed Will's gaze on me from where I stood, but I could not bring myself to look at him. Would he be angry that I had not told him about Jason? How could he not be? I should have said something, I should have explained about Jason. Explained what? Why did I feel I had to justify Jason to Will? Thankfully, I was saved from my own reflections by the noisy proximity of the landing chopper.

As it landed, a man in a smart-casual grey suit jumped down from the cabin. He was actually wearing a suit in the middle of the African savanna. I couldn't believe it... and yet somehow, I wasn't terribly surprised either.

I stepped forward as the roar of the helicopter engines faded. I was dressed in jeans and a tailored white blouse. I had thought it quite appropriate for the occasion and I hoped fervently that Jason would approve. He was very particular about appearances. I had tied my hair back from my face, conscious that Jason didn't like my wild brown curls 'all about my face'. All I could see from the corner of my eye was my ring, flashing and glittering tauntingly in the sunlight.

Every time I saw Jason de Bourgh, it was as if I was seeing him for the first time. Whenever we parted, I could never quite remember what he looked like until I saw him again. This occasion was no different - it was with mild surprise that I absorbed the image of an immaculate man of medium height, slim and very blonde. He slid off dark, expensive glasses as he approached, and slipped them into the top inside pocket of his jacket.

When he stood in front of me, he took both my hands in his, and kissed them both in a manner that seemed ridiculously formal. I tried not to show my discomfort. He then leaned forward and kissed me chastely on the cheek. I smiled uncertainly, and he returned one of his own cool blue-eyed smiles that so excited the women of his general acquaintance. A brief image of sparkling brown eyes filled my sight, but I just as quickly blinked it away and allowed myself to be lead over to the camp staff, who were quite eager to be introduced to the Jason de Bourgh, a man who was practically a celebrity in their country.

Will's Story

I watched the 'happy couple' as they moved amongst the small crowd, accepting the congratulations and holding hands. Ellie I observed most closely. She certainly smiled a lot, and laughed where she was supposed to, but I was sure that the humour never once touched her eyes. Just for a moment, I saw her look around and she caught my gaze. Her lips parted as if there was something she wanted to say, but the very next moment her attention was demanded by the man beside her.

So what the hell was going on?

Ellie's Story

He was angry with me - I suppose I should have expected that. It was well within his rights to be angry. As my friend, my engagement was something he should have known about. I had always meant to tell him. How had it never come up in conversation? Well, I would just have to apologise when I got the chance. For some reason, my gut clenched in apprehension of the confrontation.

Jason's hand felt cool in mine. He always felt cool. It was very hot out in the midday sunshine, but he didn't seem to notice - he was not even sweating. Why am I picking up on these things? Somehow, I felt so distanced from all of this. It was not really me on the arm of the handsome young politician with the ice-blue eyes, and it was some other girl who was wearing his ring. I was smiling and playing the happy fiancee so naturally that I was impressing myself with my easy deception. As if I were watching everything happen from the outside.

Sam stepped forward for an introduction. I knew he would be watching me closely, so I shook off my strange mood, and tried to concentrate on Jason.

Because I loved Jason. I did.

We had met eight months ago, at a convention for the Conservation of the African Grasslands. Nervous about the speech I had been asked to give after the dinner, I stood on the sidelines of the pre-dinner drinks and dancing, clutching a champagne glass and talking sporadically with a rather slimy young man who unfortunately seemed to have taken a liking to me. I was quite unprepared, but pathetically grateful when we were approached by the handsome young politician, the main celebrity of the night. He introduced himself (although he must have known that we already knew exactly who he was), smiled a charming smile, and with a perfect Eton accent he asked me to dance. Naturally, I fell willingly into his arms.

I told him about my work back on the Reserve and he seemed very genuinely concerned with my cause. He told me all about his party's policy for environment action, and I was enthralled. He was a champion of my cause.

That was the beginning. He asked me out again, and I lengthened my stay in Nairobi to comply. He behaved just like a fairytale knight - chivalrous and charming in every respect. Not to mention handsome and rich. The glitter and swirl of his luxurious way of life was a complete novelty for me, and very seductive, but that was not what won me over.

Over intimate candle-lit dinners, he would listen and ask questions as I told him all about the position I filled at the Kalerian Reserve, and my idealistic motives of healing sick animals and conserving the endangered species. He would nod understandingly, then explain again what a difference his party would make to my cause once he was elected. I felt like we were sharing a dream.

And then suddenly, on the night before I was finally due to return to my job on the Kalerian Reserve, Jason turned to me and asked why we shouldn't get married. Momentarily confused, I could only reply, rather stupidly - "What?"

When he explained it, everything sounded very reasonable. I was quite a high-profile conservationist now. He was a very strong supporter of my cause, and our marriage could only re-enforce our stand in the eyes of the world. And now that I had shown him just how much the wildlife parks were suffering from a lack of funding, he was quite prepared to invest some substantial donations in them himself, once we were married.

He filled my head with all the dreams we had dreamed, explaining how we could achieve them together, but something was missing. I felt like a wet teenager when I turned to him asked, "But Jason... Do you love me?"

He gave me a look that was at first surprised, and then indulgent. "Of course I love you, Eliza. And you love me." And that was that. The ring was quickly procured, and he saw me off at the airport the next morning. I returned to the Kalerian Reserve with my head spinning and my hand weighed down by a diamond, a sort of promise of what was to come.

Chapter 7

Posted on Wednesday, 7 April 1999

As the minutes ticked by, I was both longing for and dreading the end of those ghastly introductions. I could immediately perceive that everyone present was completely charmed by Jason's style and confidence, which he balanced skillfully with a carefully perfected "I'm-still-one-of you" approach. He seemed to know just how to behave toward different types of company in order to get them on his side. I guess that's what made him such a good politician, but the whole affair made me feel slightly ill. Every time I saw him playing a different part, I was more confused. Everything he did, he wore a mask. It was falsity, it was deception. How was I supposed to know what he was really like? Was my fairytale knight just another role he played to get what he wanted? I felt a headache coming on, but on the outside, my bright smile never faltered.

At least, not until we reached the last man waiting patiently for an introduction.

"Will!" My glass-smile shattered, and Jason looked at me inquiringly.

"That was a most unusual introduction, my dear," he said, with a hint of amusement and perhaps something else as well. I looked up at him, and quickly replaced my smile, determined not to blush and embarrass myself still further.

"Yes, I'm sorry," I gave a little laugh, which was very unlike me, "It's just that... I wasn't expecting to see him." I glared at Will, blaming him for my sudden discomposure. "I thought you were going to be out at the back-sheds today, Mr. Darcy."

Will met my gaze with a blank expression that was completely inscrutable. "And miss meeting the Jason be Bourgh, Miss Benson? You can't be serious."

I gave him a sharp look. Surely that was sarcasm, but his face was enigmatic and his tone quite sincere. And he had already turned to offer his hand to Jason.

"Good to meet you, Mr. de Bourgh, and congratulations on your engagement." He did not look at me. "I hope you'll be able to achieve at least a moderate degree of happiness together."

And then he excused himself on the grounds of some urgent task, and was gone again. I stared after him, trying to understand his strange behaviour. Were we all playing games?

Jason followed my gaze, then squeezed my hand a little tighter. "What a strange young man," he commented, as he led me away, "Friend of yours?"

I was still looking over my shoulder to watch Will walk behind a building and out of sight, my brow furrowed in confusion. "What? Oh, yes. He's a friend. At least, I thought he was..."

Jason laughed, a short, patronising sound. "Poor boy," he commented, "Probably had a crush on you. He didn't know you were engaged, did he?"

My gaze shot back to Jason, my face reflecting all my surprise. "A crush? On me? Will?" I shook my head emphatically. "I doubt it!" Then another thought occurred to me. "How did you know that I didn't tell him about our engagement?" And why is it always 'our engagement' and never 'us'? And why can't I stop thinking like this?

"Lucky guess." He replied. That amused lilt with the hard edge was still present in his voice.

We walked on, hand-in-hand, engaging in neutral chit-chat. Presently, Jason remembered to compliment on my appearance. I blushed a little, inordinately pleased by the scrap of praise. Suddenly, he caught me around the shoulders and pulled me to face him. Before I could ask what the matter was, his lips were pressed down hard on mine. I was surprised to say the least, but I let him kiss me. He was quite good at it, after all.

Finally, he broke away, and as I opened my eyes, I caught his gaze fix upon something behind me, and he gave a quick, tight little smile. I looked over my shoulder, but saw nothing. I gave him a questioning glance, but he just took my hand again and patted it in a reassuring sort of way.

"Eliza," he began, but I interrupted him.

"Ellie."

"I beg your pardon?"

"Ellie. Not Eliza."

"I like Eliza. It's more dignified."

I frowned, but let him continue.

"Eliza, we really ought to discuss arrangements for after our marriage."

I was confused. "What arrangements?"

"Well, what to do about your job here, for a start."

"What about my job?"

"Well, it isn't very befitting of the wife of this country's next Prime Minister, is it? Certainly, you can continue to support the organisation here, but I really think it's time that you stopped playing about. Come to Europe with me on my next trip. My mother is quite insistent about meeting you before the wedding. She can't understand why I've let you carry on with all this animal business for as long as I have, but of course, she doesn't understand you like I do."

I had stopped walking. When I spoke, the words emerged very slowly. "What are you saying, Jason? What do you mean, 'Playing about'? You want me to abandon everything I've done here, on the Reserve I love, doing the work I've always dreamed of doing, making a difference to the world..." My voice accelerated out of control. "...So that I can go the cities and meet your mother and learn how to serve cucumber sandwiches to other politicians' spoilt society wives? Is that it? I can't do that, Jason! It would kill me! You must know me well enough to know that!"

Jason blinked, as if my outburst had been entirely unexpected and unreasonable. "Eliza, darling, you must admit that it is quite impossible for you to stay out here. I should have thought that quite obvious to you from the moment you agreed to become my wife."

"No it was not obvious to me! I never even considered giving up my work here! I love this Reserve, Jason, and I love what I do here! You can't take that away from me!"

Jason regarded me coolly, then reached out and touched my face very gently. "But if you don't get those funds, dear," he said softly, "There won't be a Reserve."

For a moment I stood completely still, unable to move as the words impacted on my mind. Suddenly I stepped backwards. "Why are you doing this?" I whispered.

He did a remarkable job of looking as though he did not understand me. "Doing what?"

"This... blackmail! Jason!" I ran a frantic hand through my hair and tore out the band which held it back. "Look at me! I'm not beautiful! I'm not dignified! I would make a terrible politician's wife! Why are you marrying me? What is it you want from me, Jason?"

"Ellie, Ellie, sweetheart, calm down..." He spoke soothingly, and though I resisted at first, he took me into his arms. I put my head on his shoulder, but refused to cry. "No body's blackmailing anybody," he whispered comfortingly into my hair, "Where did you get that word? I want to marry you because I love you, darling. Isn't that a good enough reason? And you must understand that there has to be some sort of compromise between us. I understand that you have your cause to work for here, but you could do so much more good if you sent cheques rather than staying here and working while you watch everything you work for collapse from lack of funds. See? If we get married, everything works out great for everyone. Now let's not have any more outbursts. I suppose it's just pre-wedding nerves, wouldn't that be right dear?"

I nodded dumbly, then smiled, breathing a shaky inward sigh of relief. Jason loved me. He always put things into back into a reasonable perspective. I put all of the worries that had been nagging at me these past few weeks out of my mind. Everything would turn out fine, because Jason was here, and he was capable. He would make sure that everything was fine.

"Now then, why don't you put that hair back up and we'll go and see that lion cub you told me about."

"Cheetah..."

"Yes, that's what I meant. Come along."

I went.

Chapter 8

Posted on Friday, 9 April 1999

Jason spent the night, and left early the next morning. He was already up and dressed when I sleepily opened my eyes, and sat up in bed.

He gave an affectionate farewell, but did not wait for me to dress and see him off properly. He explained that he was very busy, and assured me he would be back to see me again as soon as he could.

I went to breakfast alone.

As I stepped into the mess hall, my gaze flicked quickly over the rows of familiar faces. I realised suddenly that I was looking for Will. He was no where in sight.

All that day, I went about my work with half my mind trying to adjust to the idea of leaving it all behind. Would I be able to make the break? My throat constricted at the thought of it. But Jason is right, I reminded myself firmly. I could do so much more good from the city by raising funds, as the wife of the influential politician, than I could out here sweating on a Station that won't even be able to afford to pay its staff if I stay.

The other half of my mind was worrying about Will. Was he avoiding me? It would appear so. I really should seek him out and offer him some kind of apology. I mean, how would I feel if I suddenly found out he was engaged, and he hadn't told me? The immediate wave of tangled emotion that washed over me at the mere thought gave me my answer. I would have to find Will.

I saw him twice in the distance around the camp. The first time, I called out and began to walk in his direction, but either he didn't hear me or he didn't want to talk to me, because he swiftly disappeared. The second time, my pride prevented me from humbling myself again, and I made no attempt to speak with him.

That night, I lay alone in my cabin bed, wondering what I could do to redeem our friendship. I missed Will. I missed the way he made me laugh. I missed... Anyway, did not want to lose what we had.

It was with a sudden sense of relief and apprehension that I remembered our routine Reserve patrol. We were scheduled together the next morning. And it's the Eastern patrol, I thought with a tiny, wry smile. We could talk then. He would listen. He had to listen.

With a sigh, I rolled over and turned out the light.

The next morning, however, Will was not at the ute. I was more than a little concerned: he had always made a point of being early. I walked toward Sam's office, meaning to ask him if he knew of a problem, but as I reached for the door knob I heard Sam's voice. He sounded bemused.

"...got on so well. I still don't understand, Will. What's gone wrong?"

I stopped in my tracks, and listened for Will's reply. His voice was strained. "I just don't feel that we are... suited as work partners, Sam. Just take me up on this one. Please."

There was a pause. I could almost hear Sam's yielding sigh. "OK, Darcy. It's too late to change anything today, but I'll have the roster changed by tomorrow. Now get on your patrol, you're late."

"But Sam - "

"I said there's nothing to be done today! You can cope with a couple of hours. Now go."

I heard the door knob rattle too late to make an escape. Will stepped out of the office and straight into my accusing stare. As he realised that I had overheard his conversation, his expression flickered with guilt. Just as quickly, it was blank again.

"Good morning," I said coolly. He nodded slightly in acknowledgment. We walked side-by-side in the early morning light and climbed into the ute in hostile silence.

I was driving. It struck me suddenly that the scene was remarkably similar to that day when we first met, and I had driven him back to the Reserve, except today the silence was even worse.

The fates had it in for me that day. I was not terribly surprised when I caught sight of the wheeling vultures, which indicated a kill. I pointed them out to Will, and altered our course without a word.

The elephant had not been dead long, but the hyenas had already been at work. I recognised the large, healed nick in the old bull's leathery ear, and realised we had lost the Reserve's oldest resident, a grumpy old grandpa of a tusker, nick-named 'Bert' by some ranger back in the sixties. The curving ivory tusks had of course been hacked out now, and the tail severed to be sold as an ornamental fly-whisk. What remained of Bert's splendid bulk had been left to rot in the hot African sun.

I balled my fists so tightly I could feel my nails cutting into my palms. It was just too much. I looked to Will, who was still refusing to acknowledge that I existed.

Looking from him to the old elephant carcass, I decided suddenly that I would be glad to marry Jason and leave all this behind me. It wasn't worth it. Everything hurt too much. Angry tears sprang to my eyes, but I brushed them away in case Will caught them. It would only renew his prejudices against womens' weakness. Not that I cared what he thought of me now.

Will's back was turned, and for a few moments I found myself staring, trying to memorize his physique, the way his hair curled, how he stood. Perhaps because I knew that when I did leave, I would want to remember the good times.

Abruptly, he turned to face me, and just as quickly I let my gaze fall to the ground so that he would not know I had been looking at him. I pretended I was studying the churned up earth for clues, and to my surprise I actually saw something glimmer. I crouched down and brushed some dirt aside, then picked up two cartridge shells. I looked up at the elephant, which was actually some distance away. I straightened up and walked towards it.

"Ellie, don't go near there."

Well! Look who's finally decided to open his mouth.

"Why not?"

"The hyenas will still be around."

I shot him a mocking look. "You're a big tough man with a big tough gun, aren't you? Am I still worth a bullet to you? I want to see something."

I turned my back on him once more. I didn't care to see his reaction.

As I got closer to the carcass, I had to put one hand over my nose. The stench was beginning to build. but I could see what it was I had wanted to make sure of - two bullet holes, buried deep in the cranial vortex. Hmm.

I slipped the cartridge shells into my pocket. I would talk to Sam about them later. I checked my watch - 11am. And already it was sweltering hot. I looked up. There were heavy clouds gathering over the mountains in the distance, but the sky above us was still blue. There was a helluva storm brewing, but it probably wouldn't break until late in the afternoon. Even so, better get on with the Patrol.

I returned to the ute and got into the passenger seat. I wanted to think about some things. Will took over the driving. Before starting the engine, he leaned across me to retrieve his sunglasses from the dashboard. I felt my body stiffen and his arm brushed my shoulder. It burned and I caught my breath. He straightened up and the motor roared into life. We bumped our way back onto the dirt track.

The silence returned.

Chapter 9

Posted on Saturday, 10 April 1999

Our next landmark destination was the Husani Rock Waterfalls. As we drew closer, the vegetation grew thicker and greener. The waterfalls themselves were hidden by a thicket of forest, and the cascades fed the Eastern boundary of the Reserve: the Husani River.

We were still a good half hour from the actual falls, however, when the engine spluttered suddenly. I looked sharply at Will. The motor choked again, then gave out. The car rolled gently to a stop.

"Oh, you're kidding..." I heard Will mumble, "Oh you have got to be joking!"

"Problem?" I raised my eyebrows questioningly.

Will rested his forehead on the top of the steering wheel. "Would you believe - no fuel?"

"So? I always keep a spare jerry in the back."

But when we piled out and threw back the cover on the tray of the ute, we found it bare except for an empty cage and a spare tyre. The jerry can was gone. It was my turn to mumble in disbelief.

"But how? Who?" I groaned.

"Don't look at me," growled Will, sounding even more disturbed, "And just to lighten up the party, have you ever seen a storm move that fast?" He nodded behind me and I spun around.

"Oh no!"

I turned back. "Move it! We can still make it the caves if we move fast!"

I started walking, taking wide brisk steps.

"What?" Will caught up quickly, "Don't be stupid, it's safer just to sit it out in the ute!"

"For God's sake Will, you see that there?" I thrust my hand in the direction of the Husani River, which carved a muddy brown course through the middle of the tree-scattered plain. "Those waters are still swollen after the last rain we had. And you know where you stalled the ute, don't you? Right the middle of the bloody flood plain, that's where!"

"I stalled the ute? It ran out of gas, Ellie! You can't blame me for that. Besides, isn't it your job to fill the tank before we leave? Or were you too caught up in love's young dream to concern yourself with such mundane matters!" There was such bitterness in his voice that it almost took my breath away. I had never heard him speak like that before.

"What is your problem, Will?" I snapped, "I know I should have told you about Jason, and I'm sorry, OK? But it doesn't give you the right to treat me like dirt!" I accelerated my pace still further, trying to get ahead of him.

"Treat you like dirt? I treat you like dirt?" Will kept up effortlessly. "What about your precious Jason, then? If you ask me, he's the one that's treating you like dirt!"

"What are you talking about, Will? Jason is and always has been a perfect gentleman to me, unlike some other people I know!"

"Oh, a gentleman is he? Well, I suppose you're just the right kind of lady to match his calibre of gentlemanly behaviour!"

I stopped and swung abruptly to face him. "And what the hell is that supposed to mean?"

Will stopped too, and thunder rumbled in the distance. When he spoke, his voice was much softer. "Why are you marrying Jason de Bourgh, Ellie?"

"I don't know what you mean."

"You don't love him."

My jaw dropped in astonishment at his audacious statement. "How dare you presume to tell me what I feel?"

"Oh, I dare all right. Why are you doing it, Ellie?"

"I don't need to explain myself to you!" I caught his pointed stare, and realised how pitiful that had sounded. I tried again. "I'm marrying Jason because I love him very much, and he loves me, and because he wants - we want - to get married! Is that so unreasonable to you?"

"No. If, as you say, he loved you and you loved him, then it would not be unreasonable at all. But I know that's not true, Ellie, and so do you. You're marrying Jason de Bourgh because you've got it into your stupid little head that it would be noble to sacrifice your whole damn life to your precious Reserve! Jason is a cold-hearted bastard, and you know it. But he's a rich cold-hearted bastard, and he's promised you cash to save this floundering Station. That's the real story, isn't it Ellie? You don't love him. You're nothing but another gold-digger!"

I cried out in protest, but Will would not be interrupted. "Oh sure, your motives are better than most. Very unselfish. But just don't fool yourself that this marriage you're so determined to carry through is anything more than a sham! At least go into it with unclouded eyes!"

My head and my heart were screaming as he threw the accusations at me one after the other. I put my hands over my ears and shook my head frantically to keep the words out of my brain. "Shut up! Shut up! I don't have to listen to this, you bastard, I hate you!" I snatched a shuddering breath. "Why are you doing this to me? Are you jealous, is that your problem Will?"

"Jealous?!" His tone and expression seethed with incredulity. "Jealous of what, exactly? Of Jason de Bourgh? Coveting his lying fiancee, perhaps. Or maybe I'm jealous of you, and all the lonely years you have to look forward to in your marriage to a cold-hearted snake of a man who doesn't even know what it is to love, unless he's looking in a mirror!"

"I love Jason!" I screamed at him.

"Like hell you do!"

I raised my hand and swung to slap him, but he caught my wrist and held it in an iron grip. And suddenly he stepped forward and brought his lips down on mine.

Every thought in my head burned up. Someone had opened a furnace door and the flames were shooting all over my body. His mouth was bruising mine, and yet my body was yielding - betraying me - as I swayed involuntarily toward him. His one free hand was buried in my hair. I couldn't have pulled away - even if I had wanted to.

How long did that kiss last? I couldn't tell you. All I know is that when he stopped and stepped back at last, my breath was coming in ragged gasps and legs were trembling beneath me.

Will's eyes bored into mine. "That's what a real kiss feels like, Ellie," he whispered sneeringly, "Did Jason ever kiss you like that?"

He still held my right wrist in his grip, but my left hand he either didn't see or did not care to duck. The sting of my palm was testament to the force of the slap.

"You're an arrogant bastard, Will Darcy," I hissed, "I'm getting married in four weeks time and I am completely in love with my bridegroom, what ever twisted speculations you may have entertained." Thunder rolled again, almost overhead. The first heavy splotches of rain began to fall. "Now let go of my wrist or we are both going to be drowned when that river bursts its banks."

I wrenched my hand away and turned to run. I didn't look behind me. I don't know whether he followed or not.

Chapter 10

By the time I stood panting at the foot of the waterfall cliff-face, my clothes and hair were running with water. The rain was coming down in true tropical torrents, and the wind sent great squalls sweeping across the plains and smashing against the great rock wall before me.

I glanced behind and saw Will approaching behind me, slipping a little as he ran through the deepening brown mud. So he had decided to follow.

"Ellie," I heard him call my name over the roar of the storm, "Ellie, wait! I - "

"There isn't time!" I didn't want to hear it now. He could have nothing more to say to me, and if he did, I didn't want to hear it. "They say the waterfall has hollowed caves in the rock face. We'll have to climb."

"Are you crazy?" Will reached the place where I stood, but still had to shout, "You'll kill yourself!"

"And better that than a loveless marriage, right Will?" I shouted back. A blinding flash of lightning forked down from the blackened sky and a shower of sparks cascaded from a nearby tree. The thunder clap was ear-shattering, and we both jolted in shock.

For a moment I had to struggle to breathe: the shock had winded me. "Come on!" I cried breathlessly, as soon as my heart seemed to function again. I clawed my fingers in the pock-marked rock, and began to climb. My foot slipped on the slippery rock face, and few small stones rolled down behind me. My breath caught in my throat, and for a moment I thought I wouldn't able to climb another inch.

Come on, Ellie. You have to do it. I swallowed hard, and reached up for another handhold.

I questioned nothing when a little higher up, I discovered a tiny, worn path which could be followed if you flattened your stomach against the cliff-face and edged sideways, clinging to the wall with your fingertips. Everything I touched was slippery and black, and the pummeling rain was blinding me.

My heart was pounding painfully as I alternated between praying out to God and telling myself not to look down. There was another lightning flash, and I couldn't contain a tiny whimper.

Then suddenly, as if in answer to my prayers, the path widened again onto a small plateau, and when I wiped the water from my eyes I could make out a small dark hollow in the rock wall. I fell on my hands and knees on the plateau, and turned my body to look behind me. Will was still making his way on the narrow part of the path, clinging to the cliff. He had been behind me all the way.

For a moment I thought that everything would be OK after all. I thought too soon. Now as I watched, the small outcrop of rock beneath his foot crumbled. People say that when things like this happen, everything starts happening in sickening slow motion. I could have told them otherwise. Things were happening very fast.

Even as I lunged forward, I heard his head crack on the rock as he fell. My grasping hands clasped a handful of cloth, which promptly began to tear with a terrible staccato ripping sound.

"Will!" I screamed uselessly. Some how I flailed again with one hand, and caught his arm, beneath the shoulder. I let go of the shirt and used both my hands and all my strength to haul him desperately onto the plateau.

I don't know how I did it. I'm not weak, but Will wasn't light, either. If I had ever tried to perform the same feat again under different circumstances, I know I could never have done it. But some how I found myself collapsed back on the plateau, with Will's body a dead weight across mine.

I was crying now, tears of shock and fear, but the torrents of rain flushed them into insignificance. For a few minutes, I just sat there in the storm, crying and shaking. It was the low roar of the river as it burst its banks that forced my consciousness back to reality. By linking one of Will's arms around my neck, I managed to struggle backwards, dragging him with me into the relative shelter of the small cave.

Once inside, without the constant wash of water, the wound on his forehead began to bleed in earnest.

"Will," I called softly, but his head lolled limply across my shoulder and he gave no response. The blood began to soak into my shirt. There wasn't much room to maneuvour in the hollow, but I managed to complete the tear in Will's shirt to obtain a bandage of sorts. I pressed it firmly against the already-purpling laceration. I had hoped that would stir him into consciousness, but to my consternation he gave no response at all.

"Will," my tears were beginning to flow again. "Will, you have to hear me. Come on, Will, don't do this..." The scrap of cloth was already saturated with blood. He needed a doctor, but I couldn't get him one for many hours yet. Awkwardly, with Will's body still supported against mine, I tore another bandage. This one was slower to absorb. The flow of blood was subsiding. I breathed an inward sigh of relief, but I was not so medically ignorant to believe that the danger was all past.

Will still showed no signs of regaining consciousness. Outside, there was another crack of thunder and another violent squall of rain swept over the deepening flood plain. The storm was getting worse.

I sat back against the far wall of the cave, holding Will's upper-body in my arms. There was nothing to do now but wait.

Chapter 11

Posted on Sunday, 11 April 1999

When I opened my eyes, everything was very quiet and very still. I was lying in a dim hollow, but when I tried to look around, the sunlight at the entrance of the little cave burned my eyes. Something heavy lay across my legs and stomach. They felt numb with the weight. I took a deep breath, and inhaled the warm, damp, earthy smell of the plains after a heavy rainfall.

Still sleepy, I tried to sit up, but something else stirred against me.

"Will!" I blinked, and the events of the night before came crashing over me like a wave of icy water. The storm! Will! How could I possibly have fallen asleep?

With some difficulty, I dislodged my body from under his, and felt hot blood rush back into my limbs. I lifted his upper-torso gently into a sitting position so that I could see the wound on his forehead clearly for the first time. As I leaned close, I felt his warm, gentle breath on my cheek. At the time, my only thought was - Thank God he's still alive.

Very gently, I fingered the dried blood that prevented my discerning the depth of the wound. He moaned softly, and turned his head away. That was a response - I took it as a good sign.

"Will." I don't know why I whispered. His head moved again, but he still did not open his eyes. "Will!"

His eyelids flickered briefly, and he mumbled something I couldn't quite catch.

"Will?"

His lips moved again. "Ellie..."

I don't know why it should have affected me so much, but suddenly a sob caught in my throat, and a tear dropped on to his face. "I'm here, Will. It's OK. I'm here..."

His eyes flickered open again. Very slowly, he raised one hand to touch my face. His fingertips sensed my tears, and with his thumb he very gently wiped them away. I caught his hand between both of mine, and kissed it impulsively.

"Ellie..." I saw his eyelids flicker once more as he struggled to cling to consciousness. But the dizziness proved too strong, and he succumbed again to his involuntary sleep.

I clung to his hand for another hour, whispering to him, trying to make him open his eyes again, trying to coax him back to consciousness. The sun was rising higher in the sky, and I soon realised that Sam was sure to have sent out a search party by now. They would never think to look for us up here. If we were ever to be rescued, I would have to leave Will behind and return to the ute.

For another half-hour, I procrastinated, telling myself that Will would wake up at any moment and I could tell him what I intended to do. I did not want him to open his eyes and find himself abandoned. More than anything, I wanted to stay there with him, but that was not a viable option.

Finally, there was nothing left to do but to place another gentle kiss on his hand as a means of silent farewell and crawl out into the bright morning sunlight.

I slithered down the cliff face, falling the last few feet and landing on my hands and knees in a few inches of muddy water - all that remained of the swirling flood waters of the night before. When I stood again, wiping my hands on my jeans, I looked back at the rock face and was surprised to see how high we had actually climbed.

I turned in the direction of the open plain, and began the trek. After about an hour on foot, I reached the ute. The force of the flash flood had turned it on its side and probably carried it along for a few feet. The water had all but drained away now, but the river itself was a raging torrent of muddy storm water.

I tried to roll the ute back onto its tyres, but my strength alone was insufficient, so in the end I simply leaned against the cab and waited.

Within half an hour, I heard the sound of another engine approaching. I looked up in the direction of the sound, surprised that Sam's rescue squad should have found us so early.

It was not a rescue squad. It was actually two vehicles, neither of which I recognised. There was a large brown truck followed closely by a small army jeep, but they were much too far away for me to discern number plates or identify drivers.

Without even thinking about it, I ducked out of sight behind the ute. Poachers! Cried a voice in my head. Had they seen me? I was jumping to conclusions, yes, but who else could they be? I stayed hidden.

Thankfully, the sound of the motors faded into the distance, and my heart rate slowly returned to normal. Another hour dragged by. Again, my ears picked up the drone of an engine. Very wary this time, I snatched a look.

A moment later I was on my feet and waving my arms. "Sam! Sam, over here!"

Another five minutes and I was surrounded by friends, all talking at once. Over the clamour of concern, I managed to explain about Will. Sam immediately assigned two men to follow my instructions and see what they could do for him while proper first aid was on the way. I tried to go with them, but no one would hear of it, and I was bustled into the car with a blanket around my shoulders. That struck me as a rather humourous gesture when the temperature was already creeping up past 30 C, but they meant well so I accepted it.

I had not thought myself tired, but I suppose the shock of the whole scenario must have been delayed. I was asleep before we reached the Station, and I'm told I had to be carried to bed.

Chapter 12

Posted on Sunday, 11 April 1999

According to Rick ("Denny") Densen, Will was awake when our rescuers reached him. Feeling slightly embarrassed, I couldn't help enquiring whether he had asked after me. I suppose I deserved the response I received - a rather strange look, as Denny replied in the negative. No, Will had not mentioned me at all.

I didn't like to ask any more questions of Denny. He already seemed to be reading too much into my interest in the welfare of Will Darcy. Next, I went to Benjamin, and learned that Will had been flown to Nairobi General Hospital for treatment. He had received four stitches in his forehead, but the results of the precautionary CAT scans were all very positive, so he would be back on the Reserve within the next week. With Ben's words of reassurance ringing in my head, I felt the heavy knot I had been carrying in the pit of stomach unwind a little, and my throat felt less constricted. Will was going to be OK.

Once I knew that Will was going to recover, my emotional state inevitably geared itself in apprehension of his return. No matter how I tried to write off our argument in the storm as empty words spoken in anger, I still couldn't escape the incessant echo of his voice in my head. All the words I had managed to keep at an arms length for so long! Now Will had gone and ripped that dam apart and the doubts he had forced upon me assailed me mercilessly. Everything I thought and felt was tangled and painful. I didn't know what I felt anymore.

At least I had a few days before facing Will. Perhaps I could sort out into some semblance of sanity what it was I was feeling: about Jason, about Will, about everything,

The very next day, however, I drove into camp from a job out in the Western quarter, and heard that Will was back - sooner than anyone had expected. Too soon! I couldn't face him yet! I didn't know what to do. My heart twisted at the thought of confronting him now, after all that we had said to each other, and all that waited to be resolved between us...

Immediately opting for a cowardly escape, I turned on my heel and walked swiftly toward the Stables. I had to check up on Spritz anyway, and I ought to be safe there for an hour at least. I would have to collect my scattered thoughts fast if I was to be at all equal to seeing Will again.

Yet it was not to be. Just as I reached the tall, wooden door of the Stables and put out my hand, it swung open of its own accord, creaking. I stopped dead with horrified premonition. Will almost walked into me.

He looked up and caught my disconcerted gaze, and stepped back quickly.

"I - " We both began, then broke off quickly.

There were a few moments of painful silence.

"I... didn't know you were back..." I managed at last, fibbing unconvincingly.

"I... returned a day early..."

"And how are you feeling?"

"Good, now. Thanks."

Silence.

"I see you're still engaged," he said finally, nodding slightly in the direction of my ring. His lips twisted slightly, though his voice was neutral.

"Yes. I am." His tone and expression immediately ignited a flame of anger inside me. This wasn't fair. "Are you surprised?"

"No, not really," his voice was equally cool. "You always did have a blindly stubborn streak." The flame leapt higher, and I opened my mouth to throw back a stinging retort.

Will cut me off as he shrugged. "Ellie, I don't believe you'd marry anyone if you didn't believe that you loved them."

The flame of fury dimmed a little. "So you've accepted that I love him?"

"No," he spoke very calmly. "I've accepted that you've done such a good job of lying to yourself and to the world that you've convinced yourself. And there's nothing anyone can do about it, is there?"

The flame ripped back into life. "You really think I'm marrying Jason for his money, don't you??"

"Yes, I do."

"So we're back to this! What right do you have to tell me what I ought to feel, who I ought to marry?"

"The right of friend who cares enough to learn the truth."

"Friend? What kind of friend are you..." I stopped. "Truth? Learn what truth?"

"How much do you know about the de Bourghs, Ellie?"

"Why?"

"Just tell me what you know."

I threw up my hands in exasperation. "I don't know... I know they're an old family... Jason's the last... They've got property in England and France... Look, why do you care?"

He lifted his gaze to meet mine. For a moment I thought I caught a look of earnest concern and pain his eyes. For a moment I could almost believe that he still cared about me. He leaned forward slightly and his hands were lifted toward me. I could almost see the words forming on his lips... and a split second later he had replaced the cool mask I was coming to know so well.

It occurred to me suddenly that I hadn't seen him smile for... how long? I hadn't realised how much I missed his jokes, his laughing eyes, that crooked grin... until I realised they were gone. Oh Will, what's happened to us?

"Never mind." His voice was as calm and cold as ever. Inexplicable disappointment welled inside me. "You're absolutely right. It's none of my business. Good bye, Ellie."

And he stepped around me and walked away.

Chapter 13

I changed my mind about entering the Stables. The Stables were cool and silent. I needed to run. I needed to go where could scream at the sky. Where I could dig down and figure out why I felt like my heart was caving in when I should have been so happy. Why I hated Will and yet couldn't bear to live knowing that he hated me. Why Jason's love was costing me so much. What Will had meant when he said 'The Truth' about the de Bourghs. Why nothing was simple anymore, why I was so damn miserable, why Will was being so hurtful. Why what he was doing should be so damn hurtful.

I started walking fast. In no time I had left the cluster of buildings that formed the Station behind me, and I began to run.

The afternoon sun was only slightly mellowed, and the baked brown earth shimmered under the sun's onslaught. The air was thick with heat. Within a couple of minutes I could feel the perspiration running down my temples and between my shoulder-blades. My breath came in short, gasping heaves. But I wouldn't let myself slow down. I wanted to run until I couldn't think, run until I couldn't feel. I wanted to run until I dropped, and then never get up again.

Finally, my legs gave way beneath me and I rolled into the rough grass. I didn't cry but my breaths ripped from my chest in dry sobs.

I don't know how long it was I lay there under the fierce brightness of the clear blue African sky. Slowly but surely, I began to breathe normally. I lay in the grass and stared up at the sky. My mind felt still. The turmoil of my the past few months had been left behind, or wiped out, or something. I don't know, but somehow I was calm now. Thoughts came clearly.

Jason. Will. Me. The Reserve.

I sat up in the grass and looked around me. It was as if I were seeing it all for the first time. About 200 metres to my left, a herd of wildebeest grazed on the new growth left over from the rains. If I listened carefully, I knew I would soon hear the distant, rasping roars of the lions as they welcomed the approaching dusk. I closed my fist in the dirt beside me, and lifted it to my face, breathing in the warm, ancient smell of the earth.

Did I love Jason? The image of his cool blue-eyed smile surfaced in my mind.

In the still, empty plains, there was no place for anything but the truth. Human deceptions, masks, lies, bargains, stolen kisses, bundled bank notes: they were all part of a foolish game that belonged to a different world.

Did I love Jason? The truth came, unobstructed. Not as much as I loved this land.

I loved him only because I thought he could help me save this place. Only because he was Jason de Bourgh, who could have any woman he wanted, and he had wanted me. Only because he demanded that I love him, and that I wear his ring, to help me hold on to what I really cherished. How had I been so blind as to convince myself that I was truly in love? It was blasphemy to call it love.

This sudden clarity of perception bought with it strong feelings of disappointment and disgust, focused mainly on myself. Had I really been so heartless? So callous? So shallow? With a stab of guilty pain, I recalled a girl with loose brown curls and bright, dreaming eyes who always swore that she would never marry for anything but the deepest love. I felt a wave of sadness and regret at her naiveté. That girl had believed in fairy tales, but this was real life. The Reserve was real life. My choices: all real life.

So did Jason love me? No. Well, maybe. But not with the kind of love that I had once dreamed of. True love Knows. True love Understands. Jason didn't understand me, he didn't know me at all. The girl he knew had been a girl who was flattered at his attention, who had bitten her tongue and tied back her hair to stay in his favour, but who was really in love with the cause he claimed to stand for. He was a means to an end, a cheque written out to what she really loved. God, that was a crass way of putting it, but I couldn't keep circling the truth.

And so there it was. The truth. I didn't love Jason. He didn't love me. Yet another voice questioned it. How do you know? What do you know of the kind of love a woman feels for a man? Perhaps this is it. Perhaps all your passion has gone into the Reserve, perhaps what you feel for Jason is all you will ever know of love for a man.

No. With a sudden bittersweet pain a much greater truth blossomed in my heart. I did know what it was to love a man. And yet, with a twist of bitter paradox, I realised that now I would never really know.

Time to let go of the dreams.

Chapter 14

Posted on Tuesday, 13 April 1999

I lay awake for most of that night, as my mind and my heart slowly processed many months' accumulation of tangled emotions. Very carefully, I weighed my feelings one against the other, with the silent despair of an alchemist who knows deep down that no matter how he measures things out, he is never going to end up with gold. That night, I knew for certain that my childhood was over. The fairy tales were dead. There could be no happy ending.

Rising early the next morning, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and quite literally started in fright. Overnight, I had changed. My eyes looked darker and sadder. My skin seemed pale and drawn, and delicate purple smudges framed my eyes. Yesterday I had looked 26. Today I looked 36. I tore my eyes from my reflection, bent my head over the sink and calmly splashed water on my face. What else could I do?

A few hours later I was filling troughs at the water mains. The central tap was a rusting circle of metal set on a short concrete support. I gripped it firmly and twisted as hard as I could, but it only grated a few centimetres then jammed again. It had given me trouble before. I bit my lip, wiped my hands, and tried again, closing my eyes and I tried to force it to turn. Suddenly there was a heat at my back and strong arms reached around me. I started, but I knew by the way my skin tingled and my heart jolted that it was Will. I ducked quickly from what was dangerously close to an embrace.

"Hey, I'm just trying to help. A little jumpy, aren't we? Funny, I never pictured you as the nervous bride." His cool teasing was like a shadowy glimpse of the old Will, but it was strangely humourless now. If only we could turn back the clock...

"Please don't, Will." My voice was quiet and cool, without a trace of anger or fire or life. I didn't recognise it. Neither, it seemed, did Will.

He looked at me in surprise, then saw my face properly for the first time. Surprise deepened to shock. "My God, Ellie, what's the matter?"

I turned my face away. "I didn't sleep well last night. That's all."

"But that's not all! Ellie, tell me what's wrong!"

I looked at him sadly. What's right? I wanted to ask, but I stayed silent.

His brown eyes reflected confusion and concern into my empty ones. "Ellie?"

I looked at him, and couldn't find any words to explain what I really wanted him to know. In any case, it was probably better left unsaid. I turned to walk away, but he caught my arm. "Ellie, please! What's happened to you? Was it Jason? Has he hurt you? Tell me!"

"It's nothing to do with..." I stopped. I couldn't just leave it like this, I was a fool if I believed I could. He deserved more than my silence. I corrected myself softly. "Actually, it is to do with him. But nothing he's done, specifically." I looked up at him, very conscious that his hand was still on my arm, but I did not shake it off.

"Will, I'm leaving the Reserve on Saturday to prepare for the wedding. I wanted to say good bye."

I heard his sharp intake of breath. His grip on my arm fell away abruptly. "Ellie," His voice was slightly thick, but it cleared quickly, "Ellie, please don't do this. You're making a mistake. I'm not just saying that because I'm trying to make you think badly of Jason, I know - "

"Will," I interrupted, but he cut me off: "No Ellie, you have to listen to me. Let me finish. I know I've said some awful things to you these past few days, and I'm sorry because I know they hurt you, but I'm only trying to - "

"Help me see the truth?" I supplied calmly, "Yes, I know. Thank you. I understand what you were trying to do and it's worked. I'm going into this with 'unclouded eyes' now, thanks to your... I guess we could call it 'frankness'." I gave him a wry smile, a shadow of old. "You know, it hurts more this way, but at least it's less confusing."

Will did not smile. His stare was barely comprehending. I couldn't meet that gaze. I averted my face again, and took a few steps away from him.

"You were right, Will," I admitted quietly. "You were right about everything. I'm sorry."

There was a pause. Will broke the silence, speaking slowly. "What do you mean, 'sorry'? Ellie, I don't understand this. I don't... You're saying that you know you don't love him, you know he doesn't love you, but you are going to marry him anyway? Is that...?"

"Yes." The word felt filthy in my mouth.

"Why?"

There it was. The question with an answer that stemmed from a world of withheld pain that the world would never see. Never. I swore it silently to myself.

"Because," I paused, and closed my eyes firmly against tears. I kept my face turned away so that he would not read the contents of my heart in my eyes. "I've dreamed my dreams, Will. From ages 6 to 26 I truly believed in unconquerable love and happily ever after. Every girl does. But every little girl has to grow up some day. Fairy tales are all very well, but eventually you get slapped in the face with reality. Perhaps for some, 'happily ever after' comes true, but not for me. Not for me."

I made myself look at him. He had to understand this. "You were right, Will. I don't love Jason. But if I don't marry him, this Reserve will close. That is my choice, pure and simple." I gave a wry smile, remembering something else he had once said to me. "I may be a 'stupid, stubborn martyr', Will, but I do have some sense of perspective. This Reserve, all the animals, the future... On a scale of things, it's a thousand times more important than one girl's marital bliss, don't you think?"

"So you will marry Jason for his money."

I hesitated, and my voice faltered as I answered, "Indirectly, yes, you have the right to put it like that. For his money. Sometimes you have to make sacrifices to save what you love most." I met his gaze then looked away again.

A moment later I felt his warm fingers touch my face, and though I did not move to encourage him, I could not bring myself to push him away.

I heard his whisper as he gently pushed my chin up to bring my gaze level with his own.

"Do you love me, Ellie?"

The tears which I had been holding back so long spilled silently over my cheeks. I shook my head. "Will, you have to understand..."

"But I do understand. I understand more than you think. Ellie, look me in the eye and tell me you don't love me. Your dreams don't have to be fantasies, if you'll only trust me, please Ellie, just for a minute..."

"No, I won't... I won't trust you, I can't even trust myself. Please, let me go. You're making everything even worse..." I pulled away from him. I recovered enough to add in a whisper: "The fairytale is dead, Will."

An eternity of silence.

"Yes, Ellie. Perhaps you're right." Will straightened up and began to walk away. He turned back, and something in his voice sent shivers down my spine.

"But you are the one who killed it."

Chapter 15

Posted on Wednesday, 14 April 1999

Tuesday evening. I took my basketball and went out to the hoop, but I didn't play. Instead, I sat down with my back against the old Lab and watched the sun sink into a fiery sea of brilliant colour.

I would see this miracle three times more - then never again. Well, maybe some day, but it would be different then. Now I was here, I was part of it, it was part of me. When I was Mrs. Jason de Bourgh, I would be nothing more than the woman in the neat suit who was married to the benefactor. Yesterday, I had been able to view that prospect with a cool, numb detachment. Today, emotions washed over me in heart-wrenching waves, but I knew I could not go back on my resolution.

Because the Reserve would survive, and nothing - nothing - could matter more than that. I could bear the weight of a gold band on my finger because I would always know, at the back of my mind, that somewhere in the world the sun was rising and the elephants were bathing ... and the wildebeest were migrating ... and the sun was setting ... and the lionesses were beginning their hunt .... and the hippos were dozing ... and the rains were moving over the open plains... and the next generation of leopard cubs were emerging, blinking, from their dens... These things had to go on. I would endure much worse than marriage to Jason if it meant that this place survived, and went on surviving. Much worse.

So I would say good-bye to all of this. I would make my farewells to the sunsets, the animals, the plains, to my friends, to Will... I bit my lip, and squeezed my eyes shut to fight down another wave of wretchedness.

I did not cry. Instead, I sat and waited for the stars to come out. I was sure there could be no where else in the world that they burned so brilliantly. It was late when I finally returned to my cabin, undressed, brushed my teeth and my hair, turned out the light and curled up tightly into a foetal position to wait for sleep.

Sleep must have come eventually, because when someone pounded on the door, I remember waking up with a start.

I rolled out of bed on to my feet and stumbled across the cabin in alarm. I pushed my hair out of my face and swung open the door.

I focused on the figure before me, and my mouth went dry. Will stood in the doorway, his dark hair hanging in wet locks over his forehead, and his bare, well-muscled torso shimmering with perspiration. His chest was heaving, and he leaned against the doorframe for support.

"What - " I began, but he stopped me, and managed to gasp: "The Stables - are on fire - we need your help - hurry!"

I noticed for the first time the acrid smell of smoke drifting on the balmy night breeze. I didn't need to be told anything more. I snatched an old over-coat from a peg on the wall, and bolted for the stables, stumbling over tufts of grass and rocks in the dark, with Will following close behind.

I heard the fire before I saw it. I heard the crackling of the flames, the splintering of wood, the cries of men and the screams of frightened animals. I rounded the mess huts and the blaze came into view. I paused in shock. It wasn't just a fire, it was an inferno! Wood and metal didn't burn like that naturally, this fire had been lit deliberately. Someone must have doused the walls with fuel to create a hell-fire like the one I saw before me.

Someone touched my arm and I jumped, startled.

"Come on," came Will's voice, impatient in the dark. He had his breath back. The skin where his fingers had touched me burned with a pleasant heat. I took a deep breath, and then had to struggle not to cough as smoky grit filled my throat. This was no time to dwell on what could never be.

"The hoses and extinguishers are already being used. We'll have to use buckets. Use the ones outside the kitchen hut. We can still beat this if we're fast."

He began to move away, but I called after him, and he turned back.

"What is it?" His voice sounded oddly gentle this time. The swelling hope that might not despise me so entirely as I had assumed he must, knowing all that he did about my ruthless mercenary core, almost wiped my mind of the question I had to have answered. I remembered:

"The animals, Will! What's happened to the animals?"

His hesitated, and I felt panic rise in my throat.

"We got most of them out. The zebra, the dik-dik and the baboons are all safe."

"What about the cheetah? What about Spritz?"

There was no reply.

"The cheetah! Will, tell me you got her out!!" My voice was rising with my growing hysteria.

"Spritz - Spritz is trapped, Ellie. I know how you feel about her, but it is just a cat, El, and we can't reach her without endangering more lives. But - Ellie, Ellie wait! Elizabeth, don't!!"

But he was too late. I couldn't explain it, but Spritz was somehow the embodiment of everything I had done here, all the good I had hoped to achieve, and all that I was trying to preserve by leaving it behind. Of course, I was not thinking too clearly to begin with - the incredible intensity of all the feelings I was keeping bottled inside was taking its toll on my mind. At that moment, I felt that I didn't really value what was left of my life anyway.

I ran directly under an arch of roaring flames.

The heat stuck me like a broiling wave, and my eyes stung and watered in the thick smoke. Somewhere to my left, a burning rafter snapped, and crashed to the ground. I tried to take shallow breaths as I ran to the far end of the enclosures, which was not yet burning quite so fiercely as the southern end. As I reached the very last stall I was barely able to draw breath and my lungs and throat were burning with all the smoke I had inhaled. The floorboards, although not actually alight, felt like red-hot coals against the soles of my feet.

With my eyes narrowed against the heat and grit, I tried to unfasten the latch which held the door closed, but the blackened metal seared my fingers. I heard a tiny feline whimper from behind the door, and my desperation heightened. I began throwing myself against the aged wood, ignoring the pain in my shoulder and praying that it would weaken and give way.

The hinges seemed to loosen slightly, but my frenzied efforts achieved nothing more. My head began to feel light as I breathed more and more smoke, and all my aches and fears began to seem a long, long way away. The orange flames were leaping all around me, but I could barely feel their heat, and I felt curiously light-headed. I began to slip toward the floor.

I was only very vaguely aware of someone else beside me in the flames - someone who took only a few hacks with a jack to smash the latch and retrieve the cowering cub. Some marvelously strong person who then lifted me over his shoulder, and carried me dangling and semi-conscious through a crackling world of bright yellows and reds.

All those events were very dream-like and uncertain in my memory, but my next recollection was very clear indeed.

Will's face hovered above me, and his lips were pressed to mine. Someone's hands were on my chest and they were pumping so desperately that it hurt.

Reluctantly, I pushed Will away and rolled over on my side, coughing. Cheers rose up all around me.

I looked around, blinking blearily from the smoke. In the light of the still-blazing fire, I could see the entire camp-staff crowded around, clapping and looking down at me. What about the fire?

"The Stables...?" I croaked, questioningly.

"It's too late to save it now," I was vaguely aware of Sam's voice from somewhere above me, "We've decided to let it burn itself out. The animals are all safe now."

I was barely listening. All my attention was focused on Will, who still knelt beside me. His face was flushed and desperate, and his eyes blazed into mine, lit with a different kind of fire.

I saw his lips move - "I thought you were dead," he whispered, so softly I could barely decipher the words, but there was a world of pain and relief in his voice. Then he rubbed a hand roughly across his face, and I realised I wasn't supposed to have heard at all.

I banished a sudden desire to draw his face toward mine once more and relive the feel of his lips against mine. No Ellie. You leave in three days. Let him go...

I remembered suddenly, and pushed myself up on my elbows: "Is Spritz OK?" I asked, apprehensive of the reply.

"She's - she's OK," Will's voice still sounded a little odd - vague, as though my question had just woken him up, "Thanks to you."

"No," I fell back on the grass, and smiled up at Will, watching the flickering light catch in his beautiful eyes. "Thanks to you."

He looked away. My heart dropped. Then I scolded myself silently for being so ridiculous. I was getting married in three weeks. I was leaving here in three days. I had to put Will out of my mind. I had to.

I rose unsteadily to my feet. Will reached out a hand to help me, but I brushed it impatiently aside. Some childish part of me was hurt by his refusal to hold my gaze.

"I - I'll go and make us all some coffee." I croaked haltingly. I caught a few worried glances, and as usual my stubborn independence flared. "I'll be all right!" I snapped, and stalked off toward the kitchen hut, hoping that my legs did not look as weak as they felt.

Chapter 16

Posted on Thursday, 15 April 1999

I recovered my strength quickly over coffee, and one by one the camp staff rinsed their mugs and retreated to their cabins for a much-needed rest.

I made my way to the bathroom, and my lips twisted slightly when I saw the wild state of my hair. I also needed to wash my face, which I discovered was smeared with soot. I momentarily regretted that Will had seen me so uncomposed, and then squashed the thought in irritation.

Damn Will. Damn him for those eyes, damn him for that voice, damn him for those hands.

He haunted me now. And I knew he would always be there, no matter how far I tried to run, no matter who I married. A permanent ghost, a shadow in my heart forever.

I closed my eyes and pictured myself in ten years time. Surrounded by a clutch of blonde-haired children perhaps... but unable to look at them without wishing their flaxen curls dark, and their cool blue eyes a laughing brown. I would be unable to step outside without searching for his face in every crowd, turning my head after every dark-haired masculine figure, knowing all the time that he would not be there. Lying awake at night in a cold bed, reliving over and over the brief brushes with passion I had known in the arms of a man who had long since disappeared from my life.

Perhaps one day we would run into each other again. At a party, perhaps. I could see the scene already. Our eyes would meet and we would both smile politely, while my heart wrenched in my chest. "I don't believe you've met my wife..." He would say, and something in my soul would die. I would congratulate him and his beautiful partner with a false smile, perfected through years of playing the ideal society hostess. I would compliment Mrs. Darcy on her appearance, and pretend to learn the names of their dozen gorgeous, happy children. I would feel Will's eyes on me, and his silent reproach would burn through my skin. I would insist that they come to dinner sometime but make no date, and walk away, just overhearing the inevitable: "Who was she?" "Oh, just some girl I used to work with... Married some politician... Funny, I even can't recall his name now..." ...And my heart would weep.

Fate was a cruel mistress. I sighed, and examined the ring on my engagement finger. The diamond solitaire was so large it seemed to weigh my hand down. What kind of ring would Will have chosen, I wondered, and then shook my head wryly and wandered back toward the kitchen to turn off the lights.

To my surprise, someone was still seated at the tiny table. The person had their back to me and their head hung low, as if in despair, but I knew at once that it was Will. I paused in my step, debating hurriedly whether or not I ought to turn around and return to bed, but my legs seemed to have taken on a life of their own and I moved into the kitchen.

Fool! Accused my head. My heart pounded.

He heard me enter, and stood up to face me. His face reflected my own surprise. I knew he had not expected me to return.

"I - "

We both started to speak at once, then blushed like shy school children.

"You go," he said.

"I - well, I just wanted to thank you." I stumbled, "For - for saving my life, I guess."

He looked uncomfortable. "I s'pose that makes us even, then?" He grinned crookedly, and my heart lurched uncontrollably. If you don't hate me...

I smiled back. I could almost hear the warning sirens going off in my head, but my heart refused to listen.

...Then say you forgive me, Will...

The air between our bodies was crackling with intensity.

"Would you like me to take your mug for you?" I offered, noticing he still clutched his empty coffee mug. I eased it from his unresisting fingers, and turned my back on him to rinsed it at the sink. I felt his gaze burning my back. Tense apprehension blurred my thoughts. Why did I come back? This was a bad idea, this was a very bad idea...

I tried to fill the electrified silence with irrelevant small-talk. "It's very late, you know," I observed inanely, "And there will be so much to do in the morning. Temporary shelters for all those animals... You must be tired, I expect you want to get me to bed. I mean - " I faltered and my cheeks burned as I realised how poorly I had phrased my innocently intended sentence. I picked up a tea towel, and didn't try to say any more. I didn't trust my voice to speak.

I dried the mug with my back turned to him, trying not to think about how the perspiration gleamed on his bare skin. Trying to block the fantasy of his strong brown hands touching my body. Trying and failing.

This was too much. I had to get away from here before I did something truly imbecilic.

I turned suddenly, intending to begin some bland, brief conversation and then retire and end this torment, but found that he was standing directly behind me. With his closeness, the words died on my lips.

I was trapped in his gaze like a gazelle in a search-beam, and I could not break away. My breath came in short gasps, and my body was quivering with restrained desire.

"Your shoulder..." he murmured huskily, after a moment, "You've hurt it."

He raised his hand and ran his index finger down my upper arm, so gently that I barely felt it, but his touch left a trail of fire. My knees began to tremble.

"It's nothing..." I tried to keep my voice level, but the words came out as a breathless murmur. Get a grip, Ellie, come on, you have to leave, leave now! But it did no good. My legs gave out beneath me.

Instinctively, Will opened his arms to catch me, and I fell against his bare chest. For a moment I could hear his heartbeat - it was thumping as though he'd just run a race. I recovered myself and looked up into his face intending to apologise. His eyes burned into mine, and my breath caught in my throat.

Before I knew how it had happened I was pressed against the bench with Will's mouth fastened on mine, and I was kissing him back with a hunger that matched his own. His hands were everywhere, igniting fires of passion in places that I hadn't even known existed. My fingers buried themselves in his hair, and I pressed myself to him.

I was past thinking now. Jason didn't exist. The Reserve didn't exist. We were both completely oblivious to everything except each other. The only coherent thought I could grasp was: Will... I love you... I love you... I love you... So much... Will... Understand me... Forgive me... I love you...

I did not say it aloud, but with every kiss and every touch I tried to show him what I felt. I prayed that he would understand. I prayed that he could forgive me what I was doing. And I prayed that some day, I could forgive myself.

To be Continued...

Author's Note: ...eventually. I'm sorry, but I'm afraid that's the end of the 'Season'! My holidays are over, (were over as of Tuesday actually) and I have to embark upon the most important few months of study of my life. That means - (horror!) - no recreational writing. Tune in for next Season's continuation - my next holidays begin on the 19th of June! That is the next date I can guarantee that regular posts will begin again. I apologise again, but until then, Ellie and Will can enjoy a very long embrace...

PART II ~ Will's Story

Chapter 17

Posted on Tuesday, 4 May 1999

I know, I know.

I should have told her the truth right from the beginning. I shouldn't have let it come to this. But it's too late now - we're in so deep... too deep.

It wasn't meant to be like this. God knows, I never intended to fall in love. In fact, I accepted the position at the Kalerian Reserve desiring nothing further to do with women, ever again. Not after ...

Anyway, as I said, I had no desire to go falling in love with Ellie Benson. It just happened! I was in the middle of it before I knew I had even begun.

I remember that first time I saw her, covered in mud in the doorway of Lucas's office, hands on her hips and green eyes blazing with fury. I remember the thoughts that flooded my mind, each conflicting with the next. There was embarrassment, of course, at being caught out. Concealed surprise, and even a little disdain perhaps, at her rough, muddied appearance: the women I was accustomed to were almost obsessively well-groomed. And there was also relief. Relief that there was nothing about her to remind me of a face I wanted to forget.

Even as I reached out to shake her hand, I found myself taking note - her hand was warm, the nails were short and unvarnished. They were practical, capable, skillful hands... and yet I couldn't help comparing them with the cool, white slender fingers that stalked my memory.

Even as my desire to forget and my compulsion to compare fought for dominance in my head, I couldn't help a small twinge of reluctant admiration: smears of dirt may have obscured the harmony of her features, but her eyes were fascinating. So green and bright! They made me think of cats in the night and emeralds in the sunlight. Perhaps they cast their spell on me that very first day, because they have burned relentlessly in my memory ever since.

Ironically though, it was her coldness towards me that set me on the path towards falling in love with her. Had she been friendly or flirtatious, the danger bells would have sounded, and I would have backed off right away. But the fact that we were off to a bad start, and probably weren't going to get along lulled me into a false sense of security. I gradually lowered my defenses against her. Our animosity meant that I could appreciate her beauty without putting my heart on the line.

I confess that I took to deliberately teasing her, trying to provoke her into anger, just so that I could watch those incredible eyes burn and flash.

By the time friendship formed between us, however, I had grown immune to the danger. I was so confident, so pleased with myself. The weeks had passed. I hardly ever thought about ... about her any more, and I was strong enough to work side by side with an incredible woman - admire her, respect her, enjoy her friendship - and yet keep my heart walled in, safe, untouched...

Well, what a joke that turned out to be. What a sad, deluded joke.

I wish now that I had been more honest - more honest with everyone, including myself. But how could I have known what was to come? And how could I explain now the sordid facts that had lurked so long in the dark that they had grown into explosive secrets?

Somewhere along the way I had screwed up badly - that was all I knew for certain now. And Ellie was the one who would suffer for it. Well, others would suffer too, but hell, we deserved to. Ellie was the last person in the world I wanted to hurt. She wasn't completely innocent, but on the scale of things in this filthy, deceptive business, she was on par with a Saint.

She lay beside me now, sleeping peacefully, her hair spread out across my pillow. How often had I dreamed of us like this? With the sun shining, the warm world sprawled outside our door, turning on while we lay, entwined, enveloped in warmth of our own creation. Now it was reality. I reached out and let my fingers trace gently a curl. Was there any hope for us at all?

She stirred.

I was watching her face when she opened her eyes. She blinked once, as though trying to focus on me. Her hand reached up and her fingertips brushed my face. I smiled down on her, clamping a mask over the pain which I knew had been written clearly in my eyes only moments before.

"I'm sorry..." I whispered, stroking her hair very slowly, very softly, "I didn't mean to wake you..."

Her eyes glowed in the morning sunlight as she gazed up at me. My heart contracted painfully. I loved her so much. "I'm glad you did," she whispered huskily, and guided my head down until our lips met in an exquisitely slow and tender kiss. My hands slipped up to caress her cheek, then moved down her back as I leaned in to deepen the kiss.

A few moments later, I winced suddenly as something rough and sharp raked across my shoulder. Ellie felt me flinch, and broke our embrace quickly.

She went still in my arms. I followed her gaze.

Her engagement ring had scratched a short red welt on the skin of my shoulder. The gem stone glittered spitefully in the sunlight.

Her gaze jerked up to meet mine, and her expression hurt me far more deeply than the diamond had. She looked dazed, horrified - stricken.

"Oh my God..." she mumbled, almost incoherently, "Oh my God."

I reached out in an attempt to calm her, but she shook me off, scrambling clumsily out of the bed and snatching up her night-dress from where it lay crumpled on the floor.

"What have I done? What have I done?" She asked it again and again, muttering in an undertone: a tormented penance, as she pulled the dress over her head.

"Ellie..." I reached out to her, but she backed quickly out of my grasp.

"No, Will! Don't touch me, don't come near me! Don't you know what I've done? What we've done?" She spoke quickly, with a barely concealed sob in her throat.

"Ellie, listen to me." I spoke calmly, trying to break through her near-hysteria.

"No!" She made suddenly for the door. "No, I can't listen to you! It's too late, it's - " she had her hand on the door handle, but I was already upon her. My patience gone, I grasped her firmly by the arms and pulled her back to face me. Fear for losing her again made me forceful. I shook her.

"No, Ellie! It's gone too far now. This time you listen!"

She made a small sound in her throat, and I realised my hands were gripping her upper-arms tight enough to bruise. I released her quickly and guiltily, and this time she made no attempt to bolt. She looked up at me and I knew I had to speak, and fast.

"Ellie. You can't save this Reserve by marrying Jason."

Her gaze barely flickered as she stared at me, uncomprehending. Mistrustful.

I took a deep breath and kept going. "I don't know what he's promised you, El. But I do know that he won't be making any contributions to this station." I paused again. "He can't."

Still she seemed not to understand me. My voice dropped. "It's all gone, Ellie. The de Bourgh fortune. Jason has no money."

Ellie sat down heavily. Her hands were shaking as she raised them to her face.

I added softly, "It's been gone for years."

Chapter 18

For a long moment, silence reigned.

"How long have you known?" Her voice was strained. Quiet.

"I - " I hesitated. "When I first heard his name, I thought I remembered him from somewhere, but I wasn't certain... But when I saw his face, the day he came to the Reserve, I couldn't believe I had forgotten..." My mouth twisted bitterly - I might have forgotten his name - I had only heard it once - but I could never forget his face. That mocking grin, the cold eyes, triumphant across the crowed room... I blinked quickly and continued. "Anyway, I knew his face, and I had heard... Well, I couldn't be sure, so when I was in Nairobi, I talked to some... old friends..." How much of the truth can I tell her? When did it get so complicated? "...And they confirmed it - Jason's father gambled away what remained of the family's 'old money'. They still have their estates, but only because they're protected by entailments and can't be sold to pay off the debts. Other than that, Jason is destitute... He can't possibly afford the sums he's promised you." I paused once more, then added in a voice softened by shame, "So I've known since then." This much was true, anyway.

Ellie's chest and shoulders were trembling with every breath. She looked away, and when she looked back, her eyes were wild and her gaze was burning with incredulous loathing.

"You - You - " She couldn't speak - the words were tearing in her throat.

What could I do? What could I say? How could I possibly explain?

"Ellie..." I reached out, trying to show her by my touch what she had to understand. Words could explain nothing now.

"NO!" She screamed, turning on me with sudden violence, pounding viciously and randomly on my upper-body, anywhere her fists could connect. "Do you know what I've been through?" She demanded, almost incoherent in her hurt. I raised my hands in defense, and the blows rained down on my upraised arms.

"Ellie! Ellie, stop!" I managed to catch her wrists in my grasp but she struggled furiously against me and wrenched herself free. And then she was gone.

Very slowly, I walked back to the bed and sat down on the crumpled sheets. For a minute, all I could do was stare numbly at the empty, open doorway.

The shock was like a wave - the interval of numbness was simply a pause in which it gathered force. Then the reality of it all crashed over me, smashing the air from my lungs, and I began to drown.

Chapter 19 ~ Ellie's Story

Posted on Thursday, 6 May 1999

How could he do it to me?

I had trusted him! I - I had loved him! And he had let me put myself through hell, utter hell, thinking I had to marry Jason, making me love him, letting me torment myself... He had known that Jason was lying to me. He had known it all along and he had said nothing! Why? Why hadn't he told me? Just a word from him, and I would have been free of all my obligations, freed of my despair, free to... to love him...

I ran back to my own hut, crying the hot, furious tears of betrayal. I stormed about, ripping clothes and a towel out of my closet, and dashed to the shower block. Under a fierce stream of cold bore water, I scrubbed my skin clean of his touch.

Emerging, I checked my watch. Thankfully, it was still very early - I needed to walk, I needed to breathe again. I went and found Spritz, let her loose, and set out, walking fast. Spritz trotted easily ahead.

"Spritz." She was getting too far away. "Spritz, get back here!" She stopped about 100 meters from me, glanced back, then changed her direction and ran west, nose close to the ground like a sniffer dog. I rolled my eyes impatiently and jogged to catch up to her. She had found something in the grass. I expected another meerkat burrow, or something of the like.

It was not a burrow.

It was a small patch of charcoal, marking the site of a tiny fire. There wasn't much left of it now, so it had to be fairly old. A week or two at least. But who would come out here and light a fire? It had to be someone from the Reserve - natural fires didn't start so soon after the rains, and -

Wait a moment.

It was Will. It had to be. Suddenly I remembered with startling clarity calling out to him as he walked past the huts, Tuesday before last, reminding him that 'It was his turn to muck out the stalls, and where had he been, anyway?' He had started at the sound of my voice, but recovered smoothly and stopped to throw back a taut salute and a brisk 'Yes, Ma'am, right away Ma'am,' before grinning and going on his way. That salute, though. There had been soot on his hands. I hadn't questioned it at the time. Why not?

Curious, I raked my fingers through the dusty ashes. Paper. He had burned papers, but there wasn't much left of them. A fragment or two still bore legible writing, but the fragmented sentences made no sense. Letters, then? Why was he burning letters? Who were they from? What did they contain that made it necessary for him to destroy them completely?

More secrets! I felt the anger well inside me again. I had thought I understood him, I thought I had known him inside out. Lively, funny, carefree Will, who never seemed to have more than 73 cents in his pocket, - no close family, no worries. Now I began to wonder if I knew him at all.

I brushed aside some lumps of charcoal and again took a handful of ashes, sifting them between my fingers. Something solid lay in my hand. What was this? I wiped the little object clean on my shirt.

A ring. Tarnished from the heat of the fire, but very much intact. I rolled it between my finger and thumb. It was very beautiful. Stupidly oblivious the truth, I sat trying to figure out why Will should be burning letters and a ring. Until I caught sight of the inscription.

Squinting, I could make out the letters, engraved in a fine, flowing script on the inner-rim.

"Will + Patricia ... Love Forever More..."

It was a wedding ring.

Something was crushing my chest. The ring dropped from my nerveless fingers and I pressed both palms over my heart, as though I could somehow tear out the pain with my hands.

"Do you love me, Ellie?"

YES!!

...No.

Everything was lies.

Chapter 21

Posted on Sunday, 9 May 1999

Ellie's Story

It was a day of frantic activity at the Station, and I was glad of it. I saw Will, but would not look at him. I was very careful that we should never be left working alone together.

I knew my eyes were still slightly pink from crying, but when anyone enquired I told them it was from the smoke the night before, and they all seemed to accept that. On one occasion Will was nearby when I gave the excuse, and I saw him look up sharply. I hurried away, determined to avoid a confrontation. I knew what such a scene would bring - the accusations were already forming in my throat. Who's Patricia, Will? Why have you lied, Will? Why did you let me think you loved me, Will?

And I would end up breaking down, crying before him again. I didn't want that. I couldn't handle that. Because the pain went too deep - I would accept whatever excuses he gave me, even though nothing could possibly justify what he had done, because I would not have the strength to fight his lies. I would want to believe him.

All morning I pressed on, labouring furiously in the ever-intensifying heat, trying to force the pain down, trying to numb my thoughts with work. By mid-day, the sun was flaming overhead, and I was exhausted - but the ring I carried in the pocket of my shorts was still burning into my thigh, and the same thoughts seared in endless circles in my brain.

Will and Patricia ... Love Forever more ... Will and Patricia...

I swung my hammer again. THUD.

Who's Patricia? My heart twisted sharply every time I thought the name.

THUD.

And why didn't you tell me about Jason? Why?

THUD.

Damn it.

I stood up suddenly and threw down the hammer. I couldn't take it any more.

I went to find Will.

Chapter 22

He was not in his cabin.

Sam hadn't seen him.

Nor had Gem, nor had Denny.

Where the hell was he then?

It was more by fluke than anything else that I heard his voice at last - a low mumble from behind the Lab. I approached quietly, but stopped out of view.

I snatched a look around the corner - he had his back to me, one hand buried in his hair in a gesture of stress, the other pressing a slim black mobile to his ear. Who was he talking to? Why was he hiding? There was a pay-phone in the Station kitchen, which I had seen him use to call his sister in Boston. I hadn't even known he owned a mobile!

And on that note, do I even know there is a sister in Boston? It's probably his mistress in Portugal, or his wife in LA...

I stifled a wave of weary frustration. What was it with this man? At every turn - a new mystery, a new conspiracy, a new lie. How many more secrets did he have?

"...Yes... That's right..." He had been speaking in brisk monosyllables so far, letting his correspondent do most of the talking.

I felt no guilt at eavesdropping. I had a right to find out the truth as best I could on my own, since Will was obviously not the straightforward source of honest facts I had thought the was. A large hibiscus plant grew beside the north-facing wall. I was well concealed behind this corner.

"...Peterson's Gap?" I heard him say, "...How many?" He gave a low whistle. Peterson's Gap was a gully to the south. I'd only been down there twice, I didn't know it well. "... No ... Well, it depends how big. Probably about 20,000. Maybe 30 if the market's good. Quite a haul ... Yeah, OK. I'll be there. Yes, Shekai Water Hole, I know it... Right. Be careful, Cole."

And he rang off. My ears were burning, unwilling to absorb what I had heard. Insanely, all I could think of was that line from Shakespeare - Beatrice, was it? What fire is in mine ears?

Some instinct warned me to stay hidden. Without hesitation, I slipped into the narrow gap between the hibiscus and the Lab wall. A moment later Will strode past and I caught my breath, though he looked neither left nor right.

But his face I barely recognised - it was hard and cold.

And suddenly, I was afraid.

Chapter 22

Posted on Wednesday, 12 May 1999

I was jumping to conclusions. Making assumptions. I would laugh at myself later.

Think about it, Ellie. There has to be some other explanation. Something perfect reasonable, something justifiable. Will, a poacher? Impossible. Ridiculous. Think of him with Spritz, hands so gentle and clever. Think of his eyes - kind, laughing eyes. Think of him making l - no! No, don't think about that.

And yet... His eyes when I had seen him last were not kind nor laughing. His hands had taught me to love him, but they had borne the weight of another woman's ring. If you had asked me yesterday, I would have said that deception was alien to Will. Yesterday I would have entrusted my soul to him without a second thought. Today... Today, everything had been turned upside down. Right was wrong, black was white. And Will was not what he had seemed to be.

The only thing I knew for certain now was that nothing was certain - nothing was fact.

I had to see Sam, though I was resolved to say nothing about my suspicions regarding Will yet. Voicing them aloud would make them too real. And besides, who would listen me? Everyone liked Will, everyone knew that he would never... At that stage, I guess I was still unable believe in my heart that Will was capable of such deception and depravity. In my heart, I couldn't let go.

I arrived at the door of Sam's office and entered without knocking. Sam looked up from his desk, but he did not greet me with his customary smile. Instead his brow furrowed and he put down his pen.

"Ellie. Come in, I'd like to have a word with you if you don't mind."

I nodded and shut the door behind me, seating myself in front of his desk.

Sam opened a drawer in his desk and extracted a slip of paper. "Charlie brought in the mail from town this morning. I received a letter which has - er - astonished me exceedingly."

A hundred possibilities rushed through my head, but none of them seemed feasible. "What is it?"

"A cheque." He paused.

"A cheque for half a million dollars, made out to this Reserve."

My head was already spinning from all the blows I had received today, and now this. The room blurred and I swayed in my seat. Only by gripping the arm-rests I did manage to stay upright.

"Ellie? Ellie, are you all right?"

I inclined my head very slightly.

"I take it by your silence that you knew nothing about it?"

"I - I wasn't expecting it. No." My mind struggled to reorganise my thoughts. "Who - who signed it, Sam?"

As he opened his mouth to reply, the phone on his desk shrilled loudly. He excused himself and snatched up the receiver.

"Hello? ... What? ... Where did you say? .... Damn. OK ... Yes ... Yes, all right. Good-bye."

He stood up hurriedly as the receiver clattered back into place. "I'm sorry, Ellie, I have to - "

But he did not get a chance to finish - a second later the door of his office flew open to admit a frantic Station hand. It was Matt. "Sam, the utes! And Ellie," he saw me, "It's your Land Rover too! Someone's been in the sheds, the tyres have all been slashed - even the spares. And there are parts missing from the engines - they've been sabotaged."

Oh my God!

After a moment of shocked silence, Sam, to his credit, did not waste time. "Is anything else damaged?" He demanded. Matt hesitated. "Well?" He raised his voice impatiently.

"Not damaged, exactly. But the rifles, sir. All the guns we have. They're - well, they've disappeared."

Sam closed his eyes slowly, and leaned against his desk for a moment. Then he said - "And no one has been on the Station - no strangers have been reported?"

Unsurprisingly, Matt shook his head. The approach of a stranger to an out-post this remote would be detected instantly. I knew why Sam had asked, though. He had been hoping, as I had, to hear that the blame could be placed outside our little community. Now we knew that there were enemies within out midst, among our friends. Among our lovers.

"Well, it has to be an inside job," Sam's voice was dull. The Reserve was precious to him too, and the Station staff were like his family. The betrayal obviously affected him deeply, but he rallied with admirable determination, resuming his business-like approach. "Who had access to the fire-arms?"

"We already checked that. There are officially three keys. You have one, and Ben and Will accounted for the other two. But Will says that he left it in his cabin, and it's possible someone could have taken his key, used it, and put it back where he left it, because none of us bother locking our doors. So that doesn't really help."

All three of us spent a few moments absorbing this information in silence. Suddenly, Sam said - "Look, I don't have time to deal with this right now. Matt, you continue to find out whatever you can. I'll call a meeting as soon as I get back."

Matt nodded eagerly, then asked, "Where are you going?"

Sam slapped his hat on his head and replied - "There's been another slaughter - they only just found it. Peterson's Gap." He glanced to me, "Ellie, can we finish our talk another time?"

"Yes, but..." Peterson's Gap!? "Sam, wait!" He was already half-way out the door, but he paused and looked back. "Just one thing, Sam. When these kills are discovered, are you... I mean, is there any way that other people around the camp here could find out about them before the call comes through to you?"

He gave me an odd look. "No, I'm always the first one notified - security protocol. I have to take the first inspection."

"Oh." Like a punch in the chest. "Thank you Sam."

The door slammed and he was gone. Matt nodded at me, and a moment later the door slammed again.

For a few minutes I sat in silence. The little office was very hot, very still. Slowly, I reached into my pocket and drew out the tarnished ring.

Will + Patricia. Love Forever More.

I stared at it, lying innocently in my hand. Suddenly I clenched my fist tightly, crushing it until I could feel the dull edges of the metal cutting into my skin.

Will + Ellie. Love for Never More.

There were no more excuses. I clenched my fist a little tighter still, and faced the truth.

Chapter 23

Posted on Wednesday, 2 June 1999

Why did it have to make such perfect sense? I half-wished there could be uncertainties - a chance that this was all a misunderstanding, a terrible mistake. The more I thought about it though, the more my heart hardened in dread certainty.

Will was or had been married, but he had kept it concealed - so he was capable of deception.

He made mysterious arrangements over the phone, discussing profits and markets in connection with the site of a poaching operation he should not have known about unless he was somehow involved.

He had known about Jason's financial affairs for many weeks before he chose to tell me - an action for which there was no conceivable explanation, except... I balked as my train of thought took me in a direction I couldn't quite bear go.

Now a cheque had arrived, made out to the Reserve. Half a million!

I realised that Sam had never answered me when I asked who had signed it. I stood up and leaned over his desk to rummage in the top drawer, hoping he had not taken it with him. No, here it was - my fingers closed eagerly on the slip of paper, but as my eyes swept over it, I realised that it was referenced to some company I had never heard of. That was no help. But I remembered that Jason had always been on the phone to various corporations and stock brokers... I had never understood it all, but it had seemed that he had fingers in many different pies. It was possible that the money had come through him...

I put the cheque in my pocket anyway. Considering the circumstances, I felt it would be safer there than lying in an unlocked drawer.

I pushed all emotion to the side and looked at the situation coldly and rationally.

So perhaps... Perhaps Jason was not broke at all. For who else would be making out cheques of such sums to the Reserve? And if his family fortune was gone, then how was he affording to live the lifestyle I had witnessed, how was he funding his political career...?

OK, let's say Jason is still as wealthy as he has ever been. Why would Will say that his money was gone?

Because of what he stands to gain from that lie.

If I were to refuse to marry Jason, the Reserve would not receive its funding and the Station would slowly grind down to a state of complete ineffectiveness. Poachers everywhere would have practically a free run of the place. If I did marry Jason, money would be poured into the Reserve, and we would finally have the resources to drive the poachers out for good.

Will was a poacher.

My stomach turned violently, but my head held onto facts. It explained everything. The inside job on the utes and guns, which rendered everyone on the Station immobile and virtually powerless. The mysterious phone conversations.

And if Jason had really been broke, and if Will had really been in love with me, he would have revealed Jason's deception the moment he knew of it. But if Jason was not in financial trouble at all, then it would explain why Will had employed 'other methods' of inducing me to leave Jason. Like making me fall in love with him. He had managed that much, but when I still wouldn't abandon the marriage plans, he had to make up the money lie as a last resort to stop the wedding.

God, I was such a fool! I had been manipulated at every turn. An agony of pain and humiliation washed over me.

The irony of it! Ellie Benson, fanatical conservationist, falling in love with the leader of a poaching ring. And, inevitably, getting her heart torn to pieces in the process. I had always associated pain with steel and blows. Now I knew otherwise - broken dreams, cruel hearts and false promises are the most effective instruments of torture of all.

I put my hands to my face and realised that my cheeks were streaming with tears. Disgusted with my weakness, I wiped them away. Pitiful.

I closed my eyes, and concentrated my resolve. Crying was not my style and I had done far too much of it over the past few weeks.

Someone had screwed with my heart - now they were going to pay. Will had underestimated me. So far, he had got everything he wanted at the cost of everyone else. But things were about to be made difficult for him.

Real difficult.

Chapter 24

Posted on Friday, 4 June 1999

"Matt!"

His head jerked up at the sound of my voice. I broke into a jog and covered the last few feet to stand before him.

"Yes?"

"I wanted to talk to you about the utes and the guns. Have you discovered anything more?"

He shrugged wearily. "Not really. We think it happened during the fire, though. You know that jerry-can of petrol that disappeared from the tray of your Rover a few weeks back? The day of the storm?" I nodded. "We found it in the grass nearby the gutted Stables. Empty."

I thought about that. "So you think they lit the fire as a distraction?"

Matt nodded. "They were pretty damn serious about their little operation. Setting fire to the Stables was taking quite a risk just to ensure that they would not be noticed."

I ran the scenario in my mind. Will must have waited until darkness fell, crept out to the Stables and spread the petrol, then lit the fire. Then while everyone was going crazy trying to put it out, he would be able to creep about uninterrupted and unmissed, wrecking the utes and stealing the guns...

But Will was with me that night! All that night!

Just for a moment, my heart leapt in sudden hope that I had been wrong about Will's involvement in all of this. He was innocent!

But how difficult would it be for him to secure an accomplice? Easy... The hope was crushed.

I bit my lip and thought some more. Something big is going down. Someone wants us completely immobilised, helpless...

"Matt, have you seen Will?"

"No, not for a few hours now. Why?"

"Oh, nothing it doesn't matter..."

But my mind was whirring. It's tonight! Whatever has been planned, they're going to do it tonight. If they wait any longer they're giving us a chance to bring in more vehicles and more guns, and make obsolete all their efforts to ensure our helplessness.

What's the other place Will mentioned? A water hole... Shekai! That was it. Something is happening at Shekai Water Hole. And that's where the southern game populations go to drink in the evenings, it'd be perfect for an ambush... But Will has to get out there, and if the utes are down, I want to know how he intends to do it...

"Matt, can you think of any mode of transportation around this Reserve besides the utes?"

Matt considered my question, then nodded. "Yeah, the 'bikes, remember? In the back-sheds -- Sam bolted them up in there 'cos we weren't going to use them til the rains ended and the ground dried out a bit."

"Can we... I mean, are they accessible?"

"Nope. Gem and I have already been out there. Whoever took the guns and wrecked the utes remembered they were there, and tried to break in. He didn't quite manage it, 'cos Sam's the only one with a key and the locks are pretty hefty. But he's been at it with a crowbar or something - the padlock and chain are mangled."

"How many bikes are there?"

"Three, I think..."

"I'm going to check them."

"You're wasting your time, Ellie. I told you, I've already been out there with Gem, and with the state of the locks you can't get into the sheds now, even if you have the key."

I shrugged. "Matt, whoever the infiltrator is, he's not going to want to hang around here on the Reserve. Something big has been planned to warrant all this sabotage, and he won't want to be here while it happens. If the 'bikes are the only mode of transport left, then I want to make sure that they stay unavailable!" I started walking.

Matt hesitated, then seemed to agree with me. He fell into step with me and we walked in the direction of the back-sheds.

It was about a ten minute hike from the central Station area to the sheds on its far outskirts. As we approached, my apprehension increased. I broke into a light jog and arrived at the door of the shed a few paces ahead of Matt.

My heart beat faster when I saw the mangled chain and padlock that had secured the old door lying in a distorted heap in the grass. I pushed at the door and it swung open with a drawn out creak of protest.

"How the hell did they - " Matt cursed to himself as he saw the broken lock, then and came up behind me. His voice died away when he saw what I was looking at. Or rather, what I wasn't looking at.

In the dingy shadows of the old shed, we could make out only one bike of the three that belonged there. Matt seemed incredulous and furious, but I felt quite calm and unsurprised.

My eye was caught by a strange pattern in the dusty earthen floor. Crouching, I took a closer look at the crazy muddle of sneaker prints intermingled with tyre treads on the floor of the shed.

I surprised myself when I realised I recognised the zigzag design of Will's sole. I suppose I must have noticed it during our weeks of working together on the muddy plains. Things were drying up again now that the rains were over. But another print overlaid his - one whose owner I could not identify, although I was able make out the impression of a Nike tick.

The Nike print partially obscures Will's - that means Will was here first, and took the first bike, and the second man followed him. I wonder if they were together... Or is Will unaware that he was followed?

He was probably aware, I decided. It was likely his accomplice, whoever that might be...

"Matt," I straightened up once more, "Matt go back to the Station and call the general meeting. I want you to find out who's missing besides Will, Sam and me."

I stepped into the shadows and prodded at the wheels of the bike, checking for a flat.

Matt nodded seriously, "But where are you going to be?"

"Me?" I swung one leg over the saddle and kicked away the stand, "I want to call in on some old friends of mine -- see what they're up to these days..." I revved the motor and it spluttered to life.

"But Ellie - " I roared past him, forcing him to leap aside from the narrow doorway to get out of my path. "How do you know where you're going? You aren't armed, you can't - "

His words were drowned by the roaring engine as I accelerated toward the open plains.

Chapter 25

I kept the setting sun to my right, which ensured that I was heading due south. Shekai Water Hole should be dead ahead.

The open plain became scattered with trees and clumps of vegetation. I tried to picture in my mind the layout of this part of the Reserve. It wasn't far from Petersons's Gap. The water hole itself, I recalled, was a long, shallow trench-like depression, which was only used by game during and for a few weeks after the rainy season. After that, it dried up into a pool of crusty black mud for another year.

A dense thicket of dry scrub was set back from the banks of the water hole, leaving a ring of open space which the animals had to cross to reach the trench. It was a poacher's dream. I was only surprised that it had taken them until now to take advantage of the situation.

The motorbike roared and jolted over the rough ground. I grew nervous about all the noise I was making -- I had a feeling that I was drawing near to the water hole. Would the poachers be there already, waiting? Dusk was still an hour away, at least. Were they already aware of my approach? Sound carried incredibly well on the open plains... Hopefully the increasing density of the scrub in this area would help insulate the noise of the motor.

Nonetheless, the seed of fear had been planted and I quickly applied the brakes and shut off the engine. I left the bike lying on its side in a bush, and continued on foot. My ears were still resounding from the constant thundering of the motor, and the sudden silence of the scrub disconcerted me. Perhaps I was already surrounded. Perhaps someone was lining up a rifle even as I took my next step.

Somewhere behind me, dry leaves rustled furtively and I froze, my heart pounding against my ribcage.

A light breeze swept on through, and I relaxed very slightly.

What was I going to do now, anyway? I didn't know exactly. Matt was right, it was foolish of me to dash headlong into the fray, defenceless. But, I reminded myself firmly, I would be damned before I sat caged in safety at the Station, aware of what was going on around me and yet making no effort to intervene. Will must not be allowed to get away with what he planned.

Through a gap in the stingy, rough-barked trees, I caught a glimpse of sunlight reflecting on water. I moved stealthily toward the water hole, and dropped into a crouch at the fringe of the scrub. A couple of gazelle had their heads lowered at the water's edge, but despite my attempts at silent movement, they looked up nervously and a few moments later, bounded away.

At first I was concerned and confused. What had frightened them? Was there another threat nearby, one to which I was oblivious? Would the next moment see a bullet tearing into my body?

Then I felt like kicking myself as I remembered suddenly that the breeze was coming in from behind me. The gazelles would have sensed me before I was within twenty feet of them.

Mentally berating myself for my novice's error, I rose slowly to my feet. I would have to take the long way around to the other side of the water hole, then approach again, this time into the wind. Then I would lie low and wait for dusk. That would give me some time at least to assess the situation and decide what was best to be done.

I moved away from the fringe scrub and sought the relative security of the slightly denser bush set further back from the water hole. Dry twigs snapped under my feet, setting my nerves on edge. It was practically impossible to move silently in this kind of terrain, but in the silence my every step seemed twice as loud. I paused uneasily. A soft crunch echoed my final step, then all was quiet.

Again, my heart began to pound. Blood thumped in my ears.

I took a few more tentative steps, then stopped abruptly. Again, the echoing footfall from behind.

Sometimes, back when I lived in the city, I would be walking home alone at night and start to imagine that someone was following me. Deep inside, however, I never really believed that they were.

This was not one of those times. This was very different. Someone was behind me. Stalking me. Hunting me down. I could sense them there.

My whole body began to tremble as I turned around. My gaze was met with the coarse pastels of the surrounding scrub, silent and still. I was so alone... and yet not alone.

After a few moments of facing backwards, it occurred to me that my stalker might be circling me, the way the lioness circles her kill, launching her attack from the direction she is least expected. Abruptly, I turned again, but was met with an almost identical sight of deathly still bush land.

Hysterical fear twisted my insides and muddled any coherent thought. At that moment I understood the mindless panic I had seen exhibited by animals of prey. I choked on a sob as I spun again, trying desperately to anticipate an attack. Over the pounding of my heart I heard another crackling step nearby, then silence once more. And suddenly my nerve shattered and I broke like a rabbit, pounding through the bush and disregarding the noise I was making as I ran.

A few seconds later I could hear feet pounding behind me as my stalker also abandoned stealth and gave chase. My breath tore in my throat and incredibly I accelerated still faster as pure terror took over my body and fueled my limbs. I don't believe I have ever run so fast and I doubt I ever will again.

Perhaps I would have made it, if it hadn't been for the fallen branch. If I had seen it in time to jump. If I had been able to right myself after stumbling. If I hadn't gone smashing down to earth in a fear-streaked scramble of sky and dirt and pain. Even as I tried to scramble to my feet, a rough weight barreled into me from behind, knocking the breath from my body a second time.

Strong arms pinned me to the ground, though I bucked and struggled violently. It did me no good -- my assailant had every advantage.

Finally I lay with my cheek against the earth, breathing heavily. I could hear his breath above me - he too was panting for air - but I could not see his face. His voice, when he spoke, I did not recognise.

"Two questions, girl," he growled, " 'Who are you', and 'Why are you here?' "

I was silent. He grunted, as if it was the reaction he had expected.

"Stand up."

I was reluctant, but he had both my hands pinned together behind my back and heaved me painfully to my feet.

I faced him furiously, tossing my hair out of my face and narrowing my eyes. I supposed I looked quite a sight, with my clothes torn and my face smeared with dirt.

The man who stood opposite me looked equally displeased to see me - his features, roughened with stubble, were creased into a heavy scowl. He was not much taller than me, and I guessed his age in the early thirties. His thick-set frame was clad in army fatigues and I could smell the sweat on his body. He had been living rough.

"Well?" He demanded again. "Who are you? What are you doing here?"

"Funny, I was just thinking of asking you the same question!" I snapped, "Although I think I can probably guess!"

He narrowed his eyes, and I saw his hand drift to his hip. For the first time, I noticed the revolver sheathed there, and quelled a wave of fear. "I don't like this," he muttered, apparently to himself. "Girl, either you answer my questions or you deal - with - me."

"Don't call me 'girl'." I hissed.

"Tell me your name then."

Again, I was silent. I saw him set his jaw. "Right."

A second later the gun was in his hand. I hadn't even seen him reach for it. This man was good at what he did - I was kidding myself if I thought I stood a chance.

He held it level with my chest, and flipped the safety catch. My eyes widened and my mouth went dry.

"Don't - "

Chapter 26

Posted on Sunday, 6 June 1999

"March." He said flatly.

"What?"

"March. Raise your arms, turn around, and start walking. You're coming back to Camp with me."

Very slowly, I did as he asked.

"Faster."

I picked up my pace, and stumbled a little on the rough ground. A cold metallic point nudged me between the shoulder blades, and I righted myself quickly. I did not stumble again.

For ten minutes at least, we walked in silence. Guided by small taps with the tip of the gun, I led the way around the water hole, then deeper into the scrub on the other side. As I walked, my mind seethed desperately in search of a plan. Nothing feasible occurred to me. I was, for want of a better expression, in deep shit.

I strangled the cry of surprise that rose in my throat when a second armed man stepped from the bushes directly into my path. He held a rifle tense and ready, diagonal across his chest, and was dressed head to toe in khaki. His eyes flicked over me, then over my shoulder to my captor. Though his face showed no expression I saw one eyebrow lift in inquiry.

"She was skulking around the north side of Shekai. Put up quite a fight. Sir." Informed the man behind me.

"Does she know about the operation?" Demanded the other.

"She must. Why else would she be out here now?"

"She wouldn't have come alone. Did you see any others with her?"

"None, sir."

His gaze cut back to my face. "You. Where are your companions?"

I raised my chin defiantly and refused to answer. I didn't want them to know I was out here alone.

"She won't answer any questions. Not who she is, not what she's doing here. Makes her look guilty if you ask me, sir."

"No one did ask you, Reynolds," snapped the new man sharply, his eyes not leaving my face. His brow creased slightly in his first expression of emotion of any kind. Then his shoulder twitched in an almost imperceptible shrug as he said, "We'll see what Darcy makes of you then. Meanwhile, you'll have to stay at Camp."

I started and my blood ran cold. "Will?" The name came out as a whisper. My head told me that I shouldn't be surprised, it was what I had known all along, but my heart twisted painfully.

My captor raised his eyebrows mockingly. "Will Darcy. Know him, do you?"

My voice failed me. I gazed stupidly at him, mouth slightly open in horror.

"Well, the name means something to you, that's certain. Reynolds," he nodded at his accomplice, "Escort her to the camp. Darcy should be here any minute."

"What? I thought he was supposed to be here an hour ago!"

"Well he hasn't arrived!" The man's temper seemed very short. There was obviously a lot on his mind.

"What could have gone wrong?"

"How the bloody hell should I know!" He exploded. "I've sent Johnson to search for him but I can't spare any more men, not so close to sundown! Anything could have happened. This is no picnic. Now hurry up and get the girl back to - "

That was when I did a very foolish thing. For the first time, attention was distracted away from me as the two men argued. I felt certain it was my only chance of escaping alive.

I broke to the side and bolted. Of course, I never stood a chance that time. I didn't make ten feet before rough hands grabbed me from behind. I swung my fist violently and felt it connect painfully with someone's face. Another moment later my arms were pinned tightly once more and I had to stop struggling before his grip snapped a bone.

The officer approached us calmly, apparently unruffled by my pitiful escape attempt. He stopped before us and put out his hand toward the man behind me. His fingers moved back into my line of sight marked red with blood. He held out his other hand. "Release her right arm."

I felt one hand drop free. The man took it in his own, his fingers cool, and turned it over so that our hands lay palm to palm. I did not dare resist.

"That's a very beautiful ring, ma'am," he commented calmly. The diamond on my engagement finger glinted maliciously in the afternoon light, despite the fact that it was smeared with blood. "Quite useful in a fight, too. Reynolds will have a nasty scar. May I take a closer look?"

I closed my fist quickly, but the man slowly prised my engagement finger straight and pulled off the ring.

"EB and JdB." He said, reading the inscription. His gaze lifted to meet mine.

His face was expressionless as ever, but his eyes now seemed to have hardened.

"Jason de Bourgh. You are de Bourgh's fiancée."

I could not deny it. But how did this man know Jason?

The officer looked again at the ring, then to the man who still held my left arm in a vice like grip. He flung my hand away and made a jerking signal with his head.

"Right." Was the response from behind, and I felt my right arm taken up once more, then...

"Oh no, no don't please don't!" I begged ineffectually as I felt the roughness of rope coiling at my wrists.

"Shut up."

What had Jason done to them to make my association with him warrant this treatment?

Jason's anti-poaching regime! Of course! Only they must think that Jason knows about them, they think I'm working with Jason against them.... Nothing I say now will convince them otherwise. Oh God, oh God, they'll kill me!! I'm going to die! Will! Help me now...

I bit my lip as the rope jerked tighter, burning my skin.

The officer watched impassively, and when my wrists were bound so tightly they ached, he said - "Do her ankles too, then blindfold her and carry her the rest of the way. She must not know how to find us again."

"No!" Blindfolded? Helplessly bound? I began to struggle again as fear washed over me.

"No please!"

The blindfold slipped over my eyes. What if I never saw the light of day again? I felt more rope pulling tight about my ankles and kicked blindly, connecting with nothing. I lost my balance and fell heavily against one of the men, I couldn't tell which.

"Let me go! Let me go!" I writhed ineffectually as the ground fell away from my feet.

"Gag her too. We don't know how many of her kind might be around." I felt bitter despair well inside me as a piece of cloth was fitted in my mouth like a horse's bit. I struggled again, but only half-heartedly. I knew I was defeated.

I was carried awkwardly like a child, cursing and crying alternately. My bindings cut cruelly into my skin and my muscles ached from my awkward position. My blindfold was wet with tears of fear, shock and pain.

Very soon I heard more voices - we were obviously close to the camp. I smelt the canvas and felt my mode of transport duck as we entered a tent of some description. A moment later I was dumped unceremoniously on a low-slung camp bed, my hands still bound beneath me and every nerve screaming for release.

"Unghh!" I begged indecipherably. Please don't leave me like this! But there was no response of any kind. For all I knew, the tent was empty once more.

Chapter 27

Posted on Tuesday, 8 June 1999

Seconds dragged out in the darkness. A cramp in my shoulder crescendoed into agony, then faded again, leaving behind a dull ache.

God, what now? How long would I be left like this? What would happen when the inevitable slaughter at the water hole was pulled off? Would I be killed? That seemed likely. They couldn't just let me wander free with all that I knew. But... could Will give that order? He seemed to be their leader, they were apparently waiting for his verdict on my fate. Would he... could he have me killed?

The thought made my stomach turn, but then another fear overtook my first - Will had not arrived. He had taken a bike before me, yet I had arrived earlier. Something was wrong. I thought again of the prints which had over-lain his in the shed. He had been followed, I assumed by an accomplice, whoever that might be... But what if it was not an accomplice? What if it was an enemy of his, someone trying to stop him, trying to stop the operation...

And suddenly my emotions were thrown into conflict. That Will should be kil - I couldn't even think the word. To think that he should even be hurt filled my heart with sickened horror. But the only people who would want to hurt him would be those who stood with me, fighting for the cause I had devoted my life to.

What Will planned to do, his deceptions, his capabilities - all had been proven despicable and loathsome. Anger had driven me to hate him. Pain at his betrayal had seen me cry bitter tears. The righteousness of my cause in the face of his profit-hungry cruelty had made me determined to stand in his way. But if I was truly honest with myself, there was an element of revenge tainting the 'nobility' of my righteous stand. - revenge for the way he had used me, played me for the fool and broken my heart.

Because I had not been able to disentangle my heart. I had not been able to cut off my feelings, or prevent them from distorting my perception of this situation. Only now, the love I had felt for him now felt corrupted and destructive inside me.

Because even now, amongst all this bitterness, I still found that the thought of his being hurt in any way could make my insides tighten in horror. Could it be that I still ... I still ...

Voices, just audible, somewhere outside: "Johnson! Time?"

"0550, sir."

"Are the men in position?"

"Yes, sir."

"And has de Bourgh arrived?"

WHAT?

"Not yet been sighted, sir, but Riley has tapped in on the radio frequency being employed by de Bourgh's men. He's expected within a quarter of an hour, perhaps even sooner."

"And Will?"

"No sign, sir."

I bit my lip in the darkness when I heard this reply, and a few more tears soaked into my blindfold. Will, where are you?

"I don't know about that," Out of the blue, another voice joined the conversation and my heart, despite all my turmoil, flipped dizzily in relief. "If this isn't a 'sign of him', then I don't know what is."

"Will!" The original speakers seemed to share all of my surprise and much of my joy. "Where have you been, dammit? What happened? The men are all place, the show starts in ten minutes maximum!"

"I got held up, peak hour traffic, you know how it is. I'll tell you the story sometime - I get hit very hard several times in it, so you'll probably enjoy it." And suddenly the humour was gone from his voice and he was the intensely serious, hard-toned man I had never realised existed. "How many of ours are out there?"

"Seventeen. Twenty when we three join them."

"Where's Cole?"

"Waiting to give the signal, but now that you're here ... "

"Right. You expect de Bourgh in 10 minutes you said. Are they approaching from the west, as we predicted?"

"Yes sir, so there's no chance of them coming across the camp. If they follow the pattern they used at Petersons's Gap, which we expect they will, then everything should go smoothly. In fact, it's all going exactly as you predicted, except - "

"Sir," the subordinate's voice interrupted hesitantly, "Sir, the girl - "

"I'm getting to the girl!" retorted the officer sharply.

Will's voice was tight. "Girl?"

"She's the one thing that makes me uncertain of our success, sir. Reynolds ran her down on the north side of Shekai. She won't say who she is or what she was doing there, and Trevor here has just been back to scour the area for possible spies feeding back information to de Bourgh. It could be that he's been tipped off and anticipates the ambush."

"What makes you think she was with de Bourgh?" Will demanded sharply.

"She was wearing this ring."

A moment's silence. I lay in my dark cocoon, crossing my numbed fingers in hope of I didn't know what.

Will's voice again, strangely hoarse: "Is she ... Where - where is she now?"

"We didn't trust her, so she's been bound and placed in the Med tent..." His voice trailed off and he called out, "Will!"

And a moment later there was a swish of canvas and one word which nearly broke my heart all over again -

"Ellie!"

And then fumbling at my ankles... The other man must have followed Will into the tent, because Will's voice rang out sharply. "Who did this? Who tied these ropes? Whoever it was he's fired, hear me? Fired! Now get out. Find Cole, tell him I've arrived." The awful pressure dropped away from my ankles, and I felt Will's arms move around me as he lifted me toward him to reach my wrists. I whimpered softly at the pain of the loosening ropes chaffing my raw skin.

"Oh, no ... " I heard him curse under his breath. Perhaps the bruises from my capture were already showing on my upper arms, too. I couldn't believe how weak my limbs were. Apart from the pain, I could hardly feel them at all.

Next moment the gag was gone, and my jaw could move again. My lips were numb and aching. I reached for the blindfold, my arms screaming in protest as I tried to lift them above shoulder-level. I let them drop again as Will's fingers flew to the knot, completing the task for me. My neck was still and sore, and my head lolled weakly on his shoulder. His body was strong and warm, as he had always been. How I wanted to believe that nothing had changed!

And now I was looking upon him for the first time since the morning. Had it really been a mere matter of hours since I had lain in his arms, certain that nothing more could come between us?

He looked down at me, and though I did not dare to read the expression in his brown eyes, I knew suddenly that I still loved him. I couldn't help loving him. What I felt could be turned against me, but it couldn't be killed. I loved him, at the very least as much as I hated him. And that was a lot!

The tragedy and the irony tore at me. In love with what I despised. Hating that which I loved more than anything. Tears sprang again to my eyes, I did not try and wipe them away now - I was too far gone now to be ashamed of my weakness.

"Ellie... Please don't cry, Ellie, please... I'm so sorry Ellie, I'm sorry for everything... Can you forgive me?"

Forgive him? Could I ever forgive what he had done, what he still planned to do...

"Ellie, what are you doing out here? Why did you...? It doesn't matter! It doesn't matter, darling don't cry, don't..." His fingers brushed gently at my cheeks and he pressed his lips to my forehead. "I love you Ellie, please don't cry..."

It was the first time I had actually heard him speak the words, and a new wave of bittersweet pain welled up in my throat.

Will loves me... He loves me... Is it possible?

I couldn't help it. My voice was only a whisper, choked by freely flowing tears, but it was audible -

"As much you love your wife?"

Chapter 28

Posted on Wednesday, 9 June 1999

The effect of my question was immediate. I felt him stiffen against me.

"My. Wife." The two words were spoken woodenly, spaced far apart.

With strength lent to me by pride, I pushed back from him.

"Yes. Patricia. Your wife." I tried not to let the bitterness encroach into my tone, but it came involuntarily. My emotions were by no means stable at this point.

He stood up quickly. The blood was returning slowly to my limbs, and I found I could now sit upright without his support. I arched my back to stretch the aching muscles, swayed a little, but managed to swing my legs onto the ground.

"How do you know about Patricia?" He asked hoarsely.

I reached silently into my pocket and withdrew the ring. "Why does it matter how I know?" I asked softly, but I held out the ring to him. He put out his hand automatically, and I dropped it onto his palm.

For a moment he just looked at it, face expressionless. Then his eyes met mine.

"I should have told you." He said quietly.

He walked to the entrance of the tent and threw the ring with astonishing vehemence. It flew in a wide arc and dropped into the nearby scrub, lost forever.

He turned back and saw the questions in my eyes. In two strides he crossed the room again and kneeled, grasping my hand and stroking back my hair as he looked into my face.

"Ellie, I don't have time to explain now. I have to go... I have to go now. Promise me you'll stay here in the camp, out of danger."

I shook my head slightly in confusion. He had just told me he loved me, and yet he was going to leave me now and drive bullets into living flesh to make money ... "Don't do it Will!" I begged, "Don't kill ..."

"I won't kill unless I have to," He said shortly, standing up again and swinging a rifle-strap over his shoulder.

My fists clenched on the edge of the camp bed, the old anger flaring painfully. "How can you be so - "

"So what?"

"Inhuman! Two-faced! Lying! Cheating! Cruel! Barbarous!" I spat the words, "How can you be all that and still be who you are! I don't understand Will! Don't ask me to understand, because I never will. I don't understand how I can hate you for everything you are and everything you've done and still love the way I do!"

His expression was blurred by my tears, but I gave him no time to respond as I drew a shuddering breath and continued. "But if you do this, Will, I'll never forgive you. Never. I'll live with a broken heart but I'll live alone, away from you. I can't bear to be near you. You tear me apart!" I had to stop as a sob choked my throat.

He stared at me for a moment, shock evident on his features. Then his face hardened again. "I do not - "

"Will!!" A shouting voice close outside interrupted him. Will hesitated momentarily, then replied - "In here!"

A second later we were joined by yet another heavily-armed man in military gear. This one I did not recognise. "Will, Jason is - "

He saw me. "What's going on here? Who is - "

Will cut in - "This is Ellie, Cole. Ellie, meet Cole Fitzwilliam. An... old friend of mine."

Cole smiled tightly, and shifted his weapon into one hand to shake mine in an unexpected display of formality, even though he was obviously harried. "Wonderful to meet you, Miss Benson, I've heard so much about you, and none of the praise has been exaggerated, I assure you. I apologise for my haste, but - Will! You have to come now!"

Will nodded, but before he could reply I could not restrain a cry of frustrated confusion - "What is going ON? Why is Jason here? Why are you - "

"Ellie, there isn't time."

"NO! There has to be time!"

"We need you NOW Will!" Cole warned, ducking out of the tent and waiting just outside.

"Ellie, there's so much I should have told you, right from the start. It's so hard to explain now - "

"Will, we HAVE to get going!"

"So much you should have told me? What, things like your wife, your double-personality, your poaching career?? I don't know, Will, those are pretty minor details, I'm not surprised you never got around to them! No point splitting hairs, you know."

"My what?" He shook his head hurriedly. "Oh God. Oh God, I see. You think ... "

"Will, NOW!"

Will raked his hair back from his face in a rough, distressed movement.

"Dammit, Cole, give me one minute!"

"Jason is HERE, Will, we don't have a minute!"

Will ignored him and caught my chin in his cupped hand, forcing me to look into his eyes. I looked up, and my heart dropped to my feet. They burned, quite literally burned, with a passion I had never seen.

"Ellie," he whispered with soft intensity, "I - Love you. I love you more than anything, you're my life, my soul. My everything. Know that. Don't ever forget it."

"Will!" Another shout, but I barely heard. I felt only the warmth of his hand on my cheek, the heat of his gaze, heard only the sound of his voice speaking the words I needed to hear. Only him...

"Please darling, trust me now. I can't explain, there isn't time. Can you do that, Ellie? I know I've treated you shamefully, I've never given you any reason to, I don't deserve you... but oh God, please just say you trust me now."

I was drowning in his eyes, my sight blurring with more tears. Without even thinking about it, I found myself nodding slightly.

"I trust you." I whispered.

And I closed my eyes as he leaned in and placed one gentle, burning kiss on my lips.

When I opened them again, he was gone.

Chapter 29

Posted on Friday, 11 June 1999

It took me a moment or two to shake off the strange spell cast over me by the intensity of Will's gaze. For a few seconds there, all of my confusion and hurt had faded into obscurity, and I had honestly believed that so long as Will was by my side, nothing else could matter. Now my doubts assailed me once more, although not with the same force as before.

Trust me, he had begged. I trust you... I had replied. I trust you...

I had no reason to, and yet I had no choice, either. I trusted him, but I didn't know what I was entrusting to him. There were more questions than ever before.

I walked out of the tent, stretching stiff muscles, and looked around. It was just about dusk, and the western sky was starting to glow with orange light. The Camp was neatly arranged into a row of small tents and two larger tents, and one open-air eating area, all within a moderate clearing and surrounded by dense scrub.

All seemed deserted. Was I completely alone? It seemed so. I turned and ducked into the other large tent, seeking something to distract me from my nervous uncertainty, not to mention the ceaseless round of unanswerable questions searing circles in my brain.

The space inside the large tent was dominated by a large, rough trestle table serving as desk. A chair stood nearby, and the table supported at one end some complicated radio equipment. At the other sat a black lap-top and a scattered pile of papers. I picked up a sheet idly, then put it down again as I realised I was practically snooping, just minutes after I had promised to trust. But as I replaced the page, my eye was caught by the letter head. "William J. Darcy" it read, in dark black print, and under that "Pemberley, Co."

Pemberley. I had heard that name before! But where?!

I racked my brain, straining to remember... It was recently... It had confused me at the time... What was it...?

The cheque!

My fingers fumbled eagerly in my pockets, and brushed paper. It was still there! The cheque that had arrived this morning - $500 000 - made out to the Reserve. Donated by...? My eyes flew to the bottom line.

"Pemberley, Co."

I sat down heavily on the chair.

The cheque came from Pemberley. Will's company. Will sent the cheque.

Will had a company?

Unable to hold back now, curiosity overpowered guilt and I snatched up the letter once more and scanned its contents greedily.

Dear Sir,

Here, as requested, are the official financial statements pertaining to Mr. Jason de Bourgh. As you will perceive from the following data, his official accounts are inconsistent with ...

Blah blah blah... There followed a table of figures, all accounts containing minimums of cash.

Scrawled at the bottom of the page was a hand-written note, reading as follows:

Received this letter just hours ago. Seems you were right, Will. Jason is just about broke, but his expenses are enormous. He's receiving cash, but not through any above-board means. I think your second theory may also hold water. Investigations continuing.

Cole.

I checked the date. It was dated one week ago today: when Will had been in Nairobi. It made sense - it held with what he had said to me this morning: I knew his face... So when I was in Nairobi, I talked to some... old friends ...And they confirmed it ...Jason is destitute... 'I knew his face.'

How? What was the connection between Jason and Will? Why had Will been making investigations into Jason's affairs? It couldn't be all on my account! And why should Jason be out here now? As far as he knew, I was still his faithful fiancée, waiting back at the station for him to carry me away to 'a better life'... He was to have arrived tomorrow!

I threw the letter down and snatched up the next. The page I lifted was incomplete - it was the conclusion of another letter. This one, judging by the net addresses in the corners of the page, was the hard copy print-off of an email.

...very grateful for all you've done. I knew I could count on you, and there's no one else I'd trust. Corruption is rife amongst all the other organizations. It seems there's nowhere the De Bourgh cancer has yet to infect: his contacts are everywhere. Even, I suspect, on the Kalerian Reserve itself.

Cole, I know what you are thinking throughout all of this. You think that my determination to see Jason de Bourgh in jail is less than professional. You would be right, too. I have reason enough to despise de Bourgh, but they are not the reasons you suspect. Patricia means nothing to me now, Cole. The other day I took all of her letters and the wedding rings we never wore out onto the plains and burned them. Not out of spite, though. I just wanted to be rid of them forever. I never think of her now. The bitterness is gone and I am glad, so glad, to be free of it.

I will send a second email when I -

I never read the rest of that letter.

I had been so absorbed in the words that I never heard the stealthy footsteps behind me. I was completely unprepared when a hand slapped across my face, covering my mouth, and something cold and sharp pressed against my throat.

"Scream and you're dead." Hissed an oddly familiar voice.

I sat straight in my chair, every muscle taut with shock and fear. I did not scream - it hadn't even occurred to me. In any case, any sound would have stuck in my throat.

"Stand up - slowly."

Very gradually, I rose in my chair. The knife point flicked away from my throat, but a moment later I felt it pricking my back.

"Now turn around."

I turned.

Chapter 30

Posted on Sunday, 13 June 1999

"Denny?"

"You weren't expecting to see me, then?"

Rick Denison. The second-newest station-hand on the Reserve. Never in a lifetime would I have suspected him. I had liked Denny! Was no one who they seemed to be?

"What - " My voice caught, and I tried again: "What are you doing here, Denny?"

"I'm not here to answer your questions, Ellie."

"What do you want then??"

"Want? I want you to move. Now. We're going to pay your fiancé a visit."

"Jason?"

Denny grinned. I used to think he had a pleasant smile, but seeing it from the sharp end of a knife gave me a whole new perspective. His grin was more of a malicious leer. "Yeah, Jason. What's the matter Ellie, are you worried he might find out about your little 'affair'? Well, I'd be worried too. De Bourgh isn't known for his forgiving nature, and he's not into sharing either.

"I was pretty surprised when I observed your blossoming affair with the American. You should know, Ellie, that your loving fiancé isn't sort of guy you cross. Still, I'll imagine he'll be pretty happy with me!"

His grin became a wince, and noticed for the first time that his lip was cut and his right eye was coming up in a bruise. He had been in a fight... I suddenly remembered Will's reply when one of the men had asked him why he had been delayed: I'll tell you the story sometime - I get hit very hard several times in it, so you'll probably enjoy it...

And suddenly, like the missing piece in a puzzle, everything fell into place. My world re-arranged itself like the shifting colours of a kaleidoscope.

Jason's mysterious source of funds - poaching! And all that political crap about supporting the conservation cause: even getting engaged to the pretty conservationist... The perfect smoke-screen.

And the betrayer on the Station staff - not Will, but Denny. Denny, working for Jason. Denny lighting the fire, wrecking the cars - all on Jason's orders, no doubt - then stealing the second bike. I could picture the scenario - with the utes unexpectedly out of action, Will was forced to break into the shed and steal the first bike. Denny must have realized that he had gone, and followed on the second bike. I suppose he intended to stop him, or perhaps he meant to warn Jason of Will's ambush. Either way, they had crossed paths and fought. Seeing now the way Denny winced with each movement, I thought with a quick rush of pleasure that he had certainly come off second best.

And Will! He was innocent! Will and Cole and all these men, here not to carry off a poaching operation but to ambush one! How could I ever have believed the things I had believed? Waves of shame and guilt were tempered by a powerful surge of joyful relief and overpowering love.

"Now you get moving," Denny was saying, "And we may yet get to Shekai before - "

His words were cut off by the sharp cracking of gunfire nearby.

He swore viciously, and I winced as his knife sliced the air close by my stomach. "They've walked straight into Darcy's trap!! I knew it! I knew - " He cursed again, muttering in an undertone, "There's not one of those bastards that wouldn't name me the minute someone started questioning." He paused for moment, then turned his attention back to me.

Brandishing the knife wildly in my face he snarled - "Move it!! We might not get off with the goods this time, but something tells me there won't be too many arrests made today if lover-boy's bit of skirt has a knife at her throat!"

I didn't dare argue. For the second time in one day, I raised my hands and became the hostage.

Chapter 31

Having entered the Camp bound and blinded, I was completely disorientated upon leaving it. Denny, too, seemed a little uncertain. With another loud burst of gunfire, he changed his direction slightly to follow the sound and picked up the pace.

With my hands raised above my head, I stumbled frequently on the rough ground. On one such instance, I righted myself just in time to catch a brief flicker of khaki amongst the trees. A second later it had melted again.

Will's men wore khaki.

I couldn't understand it, though. What was he doing so far out from the water hole itself? Turning my head quickly, I saw another flicker to my right. Did they have us surrounded? Or was it the water hole they were ringing?

I stumbled on through the scrub for no more than five minutes when I caught a glimpse of water through the trees. Denny must have seen it at the same moment, as he stopped walking.

For a few moments, he stood very still, listening. For the moment, all was quiet. There was no sign of life any where.

"Get down," he whispered.

I hesitated.

"Get down," he hissed.

The pressure of the knife point in my side became a painful sting, and I saw a little blood come seeping through the white cloth of my torn shirt.

"Do as I say."

I dropped hurriedly into a crouch, pressing my hand to my side even though I knew the wound was not deep.

Almost crawling, we made our way to the fringe of the scrub. From this new angle, I could see more of the water hole. In the mud beside the shallows lay a young lion in his death throes. Other than that, the clearing was deserted. Angry and frustrated, I perceived that the problem faced by Will and his men was not preventing the slaughter, as the animals had fled upon the first round of gunfire. No, the difficulty and danger lay in capturing the armed criminals in dense scrub.

I looked back to the lion, whose painful thrashing had eased to a weak struggle. The fringes of the scrub must be concealing the poachers. To have fired at the lion, they had to have approached the water hole. To approach the water hole they would have had to filter through the ring of Will's men, as Denny and I apparently had. Why had they let the poachers slip right through their defenses?

I frowned, considering.

Then suddenly, the mists cleared and the whole plan was clear to me. The reason I had seen Will's men so far back from the water hole, the reason they had made no move to stop us, the reason they had not prevented the killing of the lion... They had wanted to let the poaching gang through their ring to the clearing. Once the poachers shot even one of the protected animals, they were automatically incriminated. If they had not killed anything, it would be very difficult to prosecute them. Now, though, the poachers were trapped. Netted in. Will's men surrounded the water hole and no doubt they were closing in at this very moment!

Denny, looking around furtively, cursed again.

"Now what?" I demanded sarcastically. My certainty of victory lent me new courage.

He glared at me. "Don't forget which one of us has the knife, bitch."

"Exactly! You've got knife! We're in the middle of a virtual war-zone and you're waving around a little kitchen knife like it's going to win you the battle!"

His gaze flicked quickly from me to the blade and back again. Opening his mouth to reply, he was cut off when there was a sudden shout from the scrub nearby and two men tumbled violently out of the bushes into the clearing.

We both twisted our heads to look, eager to see what was going on. Suddenly the blood in my veins turned to ice.

Struggling to gain an upper hand in the brawl was a man with startlingly blonde hair. His opponent managed a glancing blow to the stomach, and rolled clear, giving me a brief glimpse of dark curls in the dust.

Will! Jason!

Stupidly, I tried to run forward, but Denny held me back.

"No you don't!" He hissed, his grip painful around my already bruised upper arms.

Biting my lip so hard that I tasted blood, I watched in terror as a revolver went skittering away from the pair, bouncing on the rough ground. Jason lunged after it, but Will caught him a heavy blow to the side of the head that knocked him off-balance, and they fell to fighting again.

Jason made it onto his feet and managed to bury a violent kick in Will's ribs. I flinched and bit down on a whimper as I saw him jolt in pain. But Will caught his foot and a moment later Jason was flat on his back, his head slamming in the dirt. Nursing his injured side, Will managed to get to his feet and run for the revolver. Jason was only half way to his feet as Will swept it up and turned on him. Jason froze in a crouch.

I held in a cry of victory only with difficulty.

It did not occur to me that there might be other poachers left in the scrub who now had a clear shot at Will, but perhaps by now they all had guns to their heads. Will's men had been given time to draw their circle in tight. One of Jason's men, however, was yet to be subdued, and he certainly intended to take advantage of the situation.

I was caught completely off guard when I felt Denny bury his fist in my loose hair and wrench me to my feet. I stumbled as he dragged me forward into the open, and could not restrain a short cry of pain and surprise. I stifled it quickly as I felt the knife press against my throat once more.

Jason was in the process of placing his hands on his head in a gesture of surrender, but both he and Will looked up as they heard my exclamation.

"Eliza!" Cried Jason, in almost comic unison with Will's horrified - "Ellie!"

"Will!" I cried out, "Will, I'm so sorry!"

Denny's grip on my hair tightened painfully, and he jerked my head back even further, cutting off any more that I might have said.

"Drop your gun, Darcy!" He shouted. "Drop it, and tell all your men to do the same, or she'll get it! Don't doubt me, I'll do it!"

The expression on Jason's face might have been funny if things hadn't been so awful.

"Denny, what are you...?" He followed Will's gaze to me and then back again, taking in the desperate look that passed between us. And the realization dawned, like a black thundercloud drifting over his features.

His eyes locked with mine, but I looked away.

The look he shot at Will was filled with black hatred. There was pause, then he spoke, his voice surprisingly cool.

"Is this your idea of revenge, Darcy? A lover for a lover? A fiancée for a fiancée? It won't help, you know. It'll never bring Patricia back to you!"

Chapter 32

Posted on Monday, 14 June 1999

For a few awful moments, all was silence. My knees felt weak with dread and hurt. Again and again, I pushed the words away, but I could not escape their meaning. I squeezed my eyes shut, and opened them only when I heard Will's voice, low and furious.

"Don't bring Patricia into this, de Bourgh," he growled, raising his revolver a little higher, causing Jason to stiffen. "She has nothing to with this!"

"Nothing to do with this? She has everything to do with this! She didn't want you, Darcy, she never loved you. It was me that she wanted, all along. I should have expected your petty jealously would bring you to this!" Jason turned toward me and mocked, "How do you feel, sweetheart? Knowing that your precious lover here only took an interest in you to revenge himself on me! His darling wife left him for me at the alter, and you were the perfect means of repayment. I expected a little more from you, Eliza, but I hope you weren't fooled into thinking that he actually cared for you! You've been used. You're nothing but another pawn in his plans."

"That's not true, Ellie! You know that isn't true."

"He doesn't love you, Eliza!"

Denny followed the exchange back and forward like a nervous tennis spectator, before deciding suddenly that he ought to be more in control of this situation.

"Darcy! I told you to drop that gun! Do it NOW!"

His only response was a tense silence that dragged out over several long moments. I felt Denny shifting nervously behind me, and the knife pressed a little tighter against the skin of my neck as his breathing grew laboured in my ear.

"I'll kill her, I'll do it!" He screamed, almost hysterical now.

Part of me was crying silently for Will to give in to them, to save my life, to end this nightmare quickly. And yet the other half was determined that I should die before these men were allowed to walk free!

I saw no expression in his features, but had I been closer I knew that Will's struggle would be evident in his eyes.

Finally, I saw that he had reached a decision, and as his broad shoulders trembled and bowed, I knew what that decision had been. He began to lower the gun.

Jason saw it too, and I watched his face split into a leering smile of triumph. His gaze flicked toward me, and something in his look drove a spear of fury straight through my chest.

"NO!" I ground out the cry, and buried my elbow in Denny's stomach as hard as I could, turning at almost the same moment to raise my knee sharply. He made a breathless 'oof' sound, and almost toppled. I swung my fist furiously, but as I drove in he brought up his knife-hand in defense and I felt a burning sting race down my arm. Nonetheless, my punch connected and he crumpled to the ground

Turning back, I was just in time to see Will knock Jason to the ground for the second time. He stood over him, holding the gun trained steadily on his head.

"You bastard!" He growled, "Give me one reason why I shouldn't kill you now! Just one!"

And looking at the rage in his eyes, I really believed he might do it. Jason, lying still in the dust, made no reply at all, but I saw the fear in his gaze.

"Well?" I saw Will's hand trembling as his thumb moved to the safety catch. There was an ominous 'click'.

I caught my breath. He really meant to kill him!

"Will! No!"

Will looked up, but did not lower the gun. I ran towards him, and eased the weapon from his hand. He allowed me to take it from him, staring at me as if in a dream.

"You promised me you would only kill if you had to," I reminded him softly, laying one hand against his cheek. "You don't have to kill now. You don't need blood on your hands. Whatever he did to you is in the past, it doesn't matter anymore."

"But you," he whispered, "What he did to you..."

"No, that doesn't matter either. It's not worth dying for. Only one thing's worth dying for."

I turned my face slightly to see Jason, and I realized that the fear in his eyes had been partially overtaken by something else.

Something like... Jealousy.

Running high on shock and adrenaline, I turned back to Will and half-smiled at him. Then I leaned forward to whisper in his ear - "Kiss me."

His eyes registered surprise, and I met his gaze with a meaningful flicker towards Jason. I don't know whether Will followed my train of thought or not, but a moment later his mouth covered mine in a deeply passionate kiss.

My legs trembled and I very nearly dropped the gun which I still held trained on Jason's prostrate form.

I became dimly aware that a man in khaki uniform had come forward and to take the revolver from my hand. Jason was hauled to his feet and handcuffed men were being hustled out of the scrub all around us.

Still the kiss went on. I buried my freed hands in Will's hair, and he pulled me even closer to him. I think that someone started to clap us, but we were oblivious.

It was not until I accidentally bumped against one of his bruised ribs that he jerked sharply and brought us close enough to earth to remember where we were.

Very slowly, his lips left mine, but he still held me close in his arms.

"I love you," He whispered in my ear.

I moved my head from where it rested on his shoulder so that I could smile up into his eyes. "Yes," I said, grinning broadly.

"I know."

As we pulled apart, his hands traveled over my shoulders and down the length of my arms. Suddenly I winced, and his fingers came away marked red with blood.

"What...!?" His warm eyes snapped with anger and concern. "You were hurt!"

I stared in surprise at the drawn out crimson gash running from my wrist to my elbow. Blood was flowing copiously. The pain have been drowned by adrenaline. But how had I...? A vague memory returned to me: driving my fist forward, glimpsing a flicker of silver and then a long moment of stinging pain as the knife blade dragged across my skin.

I felt a little dizzy looking at it, even though the sight of blood had never affected me before. I must have swayed a little in Will's arms, because the next moment he was shouting for help.

That was the last thing I remembered before I went ahead and did the one thing I had vowed to myself I would never do out of weakness.

I fainted.

Chapter 33

Posted on Tuesday, 15 June 1999

It was warm and dark. With each breath I inhaled the scent of canvas and damp grass, and as my consciousness increased I became aware of a strong, warm pressure at my left hand. With a conscious effort, I shifted my body very slightly and opened my eyes.

Despite the shadowy light, I could make out the familiar outlines of the Med tent. I realised I was lying on the same camp bed that I had occupied earlier. Only this time I was not afraid. It was incredible how much had changed in the course of mere hours. How differently I felt inside.

Turning my head on my pillow, my eyes came to rest upon the one thing I most needed to see and feel.

Will.

As our eyes met, he leaned forward to brush some stray strands of hair out of my eyes. I opened my mouth to speak, but he quieted me again with a gentle, "Sshhhh... Everything's going to be all right now. Just rest."

For a few minutes we sat in warm silence, as I cherished the feel of his hand over mine, glorying in a warm glow of happiness.

Gradually, I re-collected my thoughts, and at length I softly spoke.

"What is happening now?"

"We're back at the Camp," Will replied slowly, "The Poachers have all been rounded up, de Bourgh with them. Their guns and vehicles have been confiscated, their rights have been read, and they're on their way to Nairobi to be held for trial as we speak."

"How long have I been... asleep?"

I saw Will smile at my refusal to acknowledge my faint. "Long enough." He replied easily.

Silence.

"Will?"

"Mmm?"

"I... I think that it is time."

"Time for what?"

"For the truth."

A long silence followed. Unconsciously I held my breath, uncertain of his reaction. In the dim light, I could not quite determine his expression. It seemed an eternity before I heard his voice, soft in the dimness -

"It is a very long story..."

I released the breath I was holding, and with a smile I held up my arm, now swathed from wrist to elbow in heavy white bandages. "I'm not going anywhere for a while."

I think he smiled too, but I couldn't be sure. He rubbed a hand across his face, and sighed.

"Where do I begin?" I heard him mumble, apparently to himself. I answered him anyway, with some hesitation.

"Begin with Patricia."

"Patricia." He paused again, then let his fist drop into his lap in a gesture of hopelessness. "I don't know how to tell you about her. I don't know how..."

"Was she beautiful?" I asked quietly. I didn't really want to know the answer, but I had to ask.

He sighed again. "Yes. Yes, she was very beautiful."

"Oh." I couldn't manage anything more than this. I had gotten what I deserved, really, asking a question like that. Will continued.

"I was twenty-seven years old when I saw her the first time. Last year. And within about twenty-seven seconds of meeting her, I was in love.

"I fell hard. She was very good at what she did. Two weeks after we met, I asked her to marry me. She said yes, and I was euphoric.

"Yes, I was a fool, and yes, I should have known better. But how could I have known what was to come?" He gave a wry smile, "That's no excuse, of course. I grew up surrounded by women of her kind - I ought to have been more careful, more sensible. But somehow she broke down my defences...

"Do you want to know what Patricia was like? I'll tell you. Patricia was ethereal. Everything about her was pale. Her skin, her hair, her eyes. Slender, fragile and delicate. When you talked to her, you got the feeling she might shimmer and disappear at any moment. Her voice was soft, her hands were cool and white. Her eyes were blue, like the sky on a winter's day."

There was a stabbing sensation in my chest. I could never compete with this woman he described. Refined and fragile and lovely. Everything that I was not. Yet Will was still speaking...

"So yes, she was beautiful. But she was utterly heartless. An Ice Queen, cold in every possible way, but with merciless powers of thrall. Of course, I never saw this - not until it was too late, anyway. She convinced me that she loved me just as she convinced me that I loved her.

"I certainly never thought of myself as naive, but now I know I was. Many women had pursued me for my fortune, and I had learned to deflect their advances. But you see, Patricia's family already had money - everyone knew that. But for some people, too much is never enough. It was naive of me never to consider that. Young love is blind, they say. They're right.

"Anyway, we were engaged about four months, and the wedding day had been set.

Now Patricia had always known that I had an interest in working in Africa, but I guess she thought it was a kind of joke, something that would never eventuate. Then I decided, once and for all, that I would start making enquiries after a position on a wildlife Reserve. I told Patricia what I was doing, and I remember the look on her face. It was probably the first time I ever saw genuine emotion in her expression.

"'What about the company?' She wanted to know. 'What about the money?' I told her that my sister was a conscientious business woman. I intended to leave Gina in control of Pemberley in my absence. I never had quite the same knack for business that Gina has, and after all, the company is half hers.

"But Patricia hated the idea. We argued - something that had never happened before. She left in a temper, but came crawling back the very next morning, leading me to believe that I had made my point and the argument was past.

"Little did I know, I had already been scrapped as prospective husband material - I was now more of a back-up financial safety-net. She certainly didn't want to become a station-hand's wife! She had gone out and immediately started searching for a more agreeable host to cater to her parasitic tendencies.

"I knew nothing about this until I attended the party of a mutual friend in New York. I hadn't even known she was to be there. She told me she was visiting her mother in Maine. But no - I strolled in from the balcony about half way through the evening and was slammed by the sight of her standing across the room, kissing another man."

"I didn't learn his name until later, but..." Will sent me a look that was slightly apologetic, "Well, it was Jason de Bourgh."

I frowned briefly. "And this was...?"

"Three months ago." Will replied, still hesitating. "You and he had been engaged six months at the time..."

Chapter 34

I blinked in shock, and felt a brief flicker of betrayal flare somewhere inside me. Just as quickly, the feeling was gone, and I wondered wryly at myself. After all, I had never truly loved Jason, and although the true extent of his vices continued to surprise me, they had no real power to hurt me. I had been naive in my relationship with him, but that was a mistake I had already paid for ten times over.

I tried to communicate all of this to Will, intending to reassure him. I realised that there was much to be confirmed and explored between us yet. Our relationship so far had been distorted and hindered by a hundred different circumstances. Before we even attempted to begin afresh, however, we had to clear the shadows. The secrets and lies and misunderstandings that had accumulated between us had all to be brought to light.

With this is mind, I begged Will to continue his story. There was so much that I was coming to understand about him - about us - and yet my head still buzzed with questions yet unanswered.

Will's eyes drifted away from me as he nodded, agreeing. They focused in the distance and he recounted the scene. "Jason saw me staring from the other side of the room, and I remember he just grinned at me. That's when Patricia turned around, and she actually laughed. It was like a glass world shattering, that laugh. All my stupid dreams, all my delusions, smashed to pieces."

I squeezed his hand a little tighter, feeling his pain.

"That was three weeks before our wedding. I wouldn't actually say that my heart was broken, but my pride had taken a terrible fall. It hurt. I didn't want to believe, I didn't want to let go. I kept the wedding rings, and all the letters that had passed between us, then packed up and climbed on the first plane to Nairobi. The night before I flew out of New York, Patricia turned up on my door step crying waterfalls of perfect tears, begging to be taken back. I shut the door in her face, but it occurred to me at the time that whoever her lover had been must not have been as rich as she thought he was.

"Anyway, I forwarded my acceptance of a position on a Kenyan game reserve, and I ended up here.

"With you.

"Perhaps you understand a little better now why I was so rude about you when I realised I was to be working with another woman? I wanted nothing more to do with your kind, and certainly not so soon after my experience with Patricia.

"In fact, I was all prepared to resurrect my old mask of cold indifference which I had perfected for dealing with over-zealous young women. But then you acted like you hated me, so it didn't seem necessary. In fact, you began to intrigue me.

"Finally, we managed to establish a kind of 'friendship' and I honestly believed that I was still safe. That it was all I felt for you."

Here he gave a small, rather bitter laugh. "Women think men aren't in touch with their feelings? They're right. I was completely cut off from my true heart... I never saw what was right in front of me until it was... well, until it was too late.

"The signs were there, of course. A hundred little things you made me do and feel that I managed to ignore, or keep locked away.

"But then the ring! Oh God, the ring. You can't ignore something when the lies you've built your world with come crashing down all around you.

"It was like a kick in the stomach - She's getting married. She's in love with someone else.

"You've lost her.

"You never had her.

"She... she doesn't love you.

"I didn't know how it had happened, how I could have let it happen, but that was the moment I knew."

"Knew what?"

"That I was in love with you, of course."

I couldn't help a small grin at the warm glow which bloomed within me when he spoke those words, but Will remained very serious.

"I knew that I was a fool, and that if I were sensible I would leave immediately - leave the Reserve, leave Africa, just get away from this situation. Of course I knew I couldn't.

"Because I couldn't dispel my hopes. Some things just didn't make sense to me. In all the weeks we worked together, why had you never mentioned a fiancee? What reason could you have for concealing it from me? And if you were so in love, then why did the two of you stand for such long periods of separation?

"So I stayed. I stayed, determined to put myself through the torture of meeting this man, partly to see for myself the nature of your relationship and partly to drive into my heart the certainty that you were out of my reach. Only then, I thought, could I wrench myself away.

"From the camp staff, I picked up the name 'Jason de Bourgh'. It sounded familiar to me, but I could not place it.

"Then he arrived on the Reserve, and that's when I remembered. How could I forget? He was the blonde-haired man in the expensive suit at the party - the object of Patricia's fleeting affair.

"You can imagine my shock. Surely, I thought, you must know what you were marrying. I could not conceive that you might actually love this man! I refused to believe it. I still refuse to believe it.

"Well, it didn't take me long to understand what you were doing. Jason was rich, the Reserve was in need of funds, you were fanatically devoted to the Reserve... It explained everything."

"But if you understood all of that," I protested, "Then why were you so angry? Why didn't you - "

"I'm coming to this. Give me a moment." He took a deep breath, and looked down at my hand which still lay clasped in his. His fingers tightened around mine, and he raised my hand to his lips in a brief, hot kiss, but just as suddenly the pressure was gone altogether. I looked at him in concern.

"When I first came to the Reserve," he began, "I wasn't just following a dream, I was running from a past. Patricia, and all her associations. And then there was you... so different. Everything that Patricia had been, you were her opposite. Every thing that she lacked, you possessed. Warmth, and strength, and brilliance, and vibrance. Goodness. I guess I... I raised you onto a pedestal. Patricia had hurt me in a way that I believed you never could. So while comparing you with Patricia, who was vile and mercenary in my memory, I made you into a goddess of perfection - too pure of heart to make a mistake.

"And then when I realised you were marrying without love in the pursuit money, it wasn't just the pain of loss, it was a kind of betrayal of everything I'd believed of you. It toppled the pedestal. That was not your fault, of course - it was my own fault. But that's how I felt, and it clouded my perspective. That's why I was angry. That's why I lashed out at you, even though I did understand your reasoning. I had believed... I had wanted you to be incapable of anything that reminded me of Patricia's baseness.

"And that is why I was so cruel to you. Out on the plain, even after I got back from Nairobi - I know I said terrible things to you. I was so angry. Jealous. Disappointed. Frustrated, too. You see, I almost... I almost believed... You'll think me conceited, I suppose, but there were moments when I was so sure that you loved me too. And yet you were so stubborn. You were so determined to push me back, in your pursuit of Jason's fortune. You can't imagine how that tormented me... or perhaps you can.

"Even so, there was more to it than just my feelings, because through all of this, there was a memory I couldn't shake. I told you that when Patricia came back to me that night, the evening before I left for Africa, I had thought to myself that her lover could not have been as rich as she had assumed.

"It was not until I actually met de Bourgh that I made the connection between his name and the man who lured Patricia away with a false veneer of wealth. This was where I based my early suspicions that Jason was not quite what he seemed.

"When I hit my head and was flown to Nairobi for treatment, I took the opportunity to get in contact with my friend, Cole Fitzwilliam. He used to be in the army, so he has a lot of military contacts. I don't know exactly what he does now - actually, I don't think he's allowed to tell me. But it seems that Jason's a pretty significant guy on the Kenyan political scene, so Cole was more interested than I expected him to be when I began to discuss with him all my suspicions.

"We discovered the truth about the de Bourgh's "Old Money". That is, that there was nothing left of it. But Jason was still the recipient of a major cash inflow, and the money had to be coming from somewhere. I left Cole to the task of tracing Jason's mysterious cash sources. He didn't need me, we could easily stay in contact, and I wanted to be back on the Reserve."

"You wanted to come back?"

He nodded.

"Yes. You see, at that point I wanted to tell you. I wanted to tell you everything. I wanted to be the one to make everything OK, I wanted to say to you: 'You don't have to marry Jason. Will you marry me instead?' "

I listened incredulously. "Well why didn't you? Why couldn't you explain it all? Didn't you trust me?"

"No! That wasn't the reason at all. It was just... Well, think about it. What could I say to you? 'Ellie, your fiancee is a crook and he's cheating you. He can't save your Reserve, so you needn't marry him. However, I have 17 million in the bank and I can save this place ten times over. So how about you marry me instead?' "

He shook his head. "So you see I couldn't tell you. Not because I didn't trust you, not because I wasn't aching inside for you, every second of every hour... But because I knew that if I told you the truth, things could never be the same between us.

"I was terrified of losing you, but after Patricia I couldn't fight off the doubts.

"You see, Patricia never loved me, she loved nothing but money. She never saw me for myself. But you had only ever known the Will Darcy I really wanted to be. The permanently impoverished station-hand with nothing to offer but himself. Once you knew the truth about my background, I had little doubt that you would accept me, but I couldn't bear the thought of taking you in my arms and never knowing for certain whether you were there because you truly loved me, or if you were there out of gratitude. After all, you had already proved that you were prepared to do anything, marry anyone, if they could save your Reserve.

"Now I believe that I was wrong not to be honest with you from the start - my deception inflicted nothing but pain on the both of us. If it hadn't been for Patricia, I would have been less cautious. And if I hadn't already seen evidence of your ability to coerce yourself into being in love for the sake of your Reserve... Ellie, if you were ever to tell me that you loved me, I wanted to know for sure that it was me you were in love with, and not my bank book or my company or anything else. That's the only explanation I can give."

"Oh Will..." I sighed, blinking at tears, "If only you had said something... I loved you from the first, you must have known that... If only..."

Will smiled tenderly, then leaned forward and kissed me gently.

"Have I told you recently that I love you?" He asked.

"I've a very short memory. You better remind me."

He smiled again, and I shifted myself into a sitting position on the camp bed. The dizziness lasted only a few seconds, and I hid the moment's unease from Will, eager now to hear the rest of his story.

Chapter 35

"Anyway," he continued, "I soon received word from Cole that confirmed our original hypothesis - that Jason de Bourgh was heavily involved with a notorious poaching ring. Of course, the real challenge was to be actually tracking down the group. As Cole got closer to his quarry, he formed a group of professional soldiers - I don't know where they came from, but he assured me that they were all trained and trustworthy. We couldn't use the Parks and Wildlife Service, or even the police. Jason isn't stupid, and he has his contacts everywhere.

"Well, Cole and his men were too late to stop the Peterson's Gap slaughter, but they knew then that they were 'hot'. The gang was close by, and they managed to tap into the radio frequency being employed by Jason's men to discover the location of the next planned operation."

"Shekai..."

Will nodded. "Yes. Remind me to ask you, by the way, how you knew about this sting. We were supposed to be operating in secret, but it seems now that every man and his dog was on to us!

"Anyway, I had intended to take one of the utes out to the water hole, but of course, as it turned out they were 'rendered unavailable'. That was when my suspicions that someone on the Station was working for Jason were confirmed. But there was no time to start interrogating Reserve staff. I was desperate, so I broke into the back shed, and took one of the bikes.

"I didn't expect that my absence or departure would be noticed, but apparently it was. Denny caught up with me about half way. He rammed his bike up against mine, and pretty soon we both came off. We fought, I won, I left him unconscious. I knew that I was running out of time, and fast. I thought I could send someone out for him later. Only it seems he wasn't so solidly out of it as I thought. He must have got back on his bike, followed my tracks to the camp... and of course, he found you.

"I'm sorry. If only I had been more careful! It seems I've been making mistakes all along, and you have always been the one to suffer from them."

Very slowly, he gathered my hand in his once more, and held it tightly.

"That is my story, Ellie. Do you think that maybe... one day... you can forgive me for the mistakes I've made?"

To say that I was surprised would be an understatement. Shocked comes a little closer, incredulous is even better. Could I forgive him?

Reaching out to him, I smiled as I overcame my initial daze. "How would you like to make a deal with me? I will forgive you all that you have done to me, and we will start anew. In return, I request that you forgive all that I have put you through. If you will agree, we can shake on it and leave all of this behind us forever."

A momentary cloud passed over Will's expression as I spoke this last phrase. A second later he was smiling again, but I could not let the instance go past.

"What's the matter?" I asked, concerned.

Will hesitated, then replied - "It's just that I'm not so sure this is the end."

"I don't understand."

"Jason will be back, Ellie. I'm pretty certain of that. He did love you, you know. In his own, selfish way, he always loved you."

I was even more confused. "But Jason will surely go to jail! How can he hurt us now?"

Will shook his head, his eyes well and truly troubled now. "I doubt very much that he will go to jail."

"What!?"

"Jason is a powerful man, Ellie. Living out on the Reserve, I'm not sure how conscious you are of just how powerful. Most of the poachers will go under the hammer, but Jason, I'm sure, will make things very difficult. His will be a media-swamped trial, he can hire top-notch lawyers, ensure reams of bureaucratic red-tape, and organise bribes left right and centre... He won't be easily subdued. Justice will not necessarily be served. It's not fair, but that's the way the world works."

I bit my lip and fell deep into thought.

"Well, what if there was some really incriminating evidence against him?" I asked presently. "Something that simply couldn't be denied."

Will shrugged. "It would certainly help," he replied, "Why? Do you have something in mind?"

I ignored that question for the moment and asked instead - "Will, is it possible to match bullet cartridges with the gun they were fired from?"

"I think it's probably possible. Why?"

"Hang on a moment. Tell me, that gun you brawled for - was it Jason's? And do you still have it?"

Will answered 'yes' to both questions. "The gun is definitely his. It's very distinctive, right down to engraved initials, believe it or not! It's powerful too. It has to be, seeing as he used it for poaching big game. It's just difficult to conclusively prove that he pointed the gun, pulled the trigger and broke the law. His word against ours, in many ways..."

As Will was speaking, I fumbled with one hand in the pockets of my jeans. I pulled out the crumpled cheque and gave a sheepish smile as Will raised an amused and questioning eyebrow. Digging deeper, I prayed that nothing had been lost when I put them through the wash.

No - here we go.

My fingers closed eagerly on what I had been seeking. I extracted my hand and opened my fist to reveal ...

Two tarnished metal cartridges.

"Remember?" I prompted, "That day of the storm, we found the massacred elephant on patrol. It was the morning after Jason had supposedly left the Reserve. I found these on the ground by the carcass. I don't think they're from a rifle. Do you think they might ... ?"

Will was grinning at me, a singularly attractive sight. My voice trailed away.

"Keep them safe, El. They just might make the difference."

He shook his head, still grinning at me in a strange, heart-fluttering way.

"You're incredible. Just... incredible." I returned his smile broadly, then heard - out of the blue - "Will you marry me, Ellie?"

I laughed out loud then, and leaned in to kiss him soundly.

"We'll see about that, Will Darcy. We'll just see."

THE END

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