I cried

by Denise Williams
Denise Williams is currently a senior teacher in a Leicester secondary school. She has previously worked as an Advisory Teacher for Black & Mixed Heritage Achievement or EMAG consultant in Leicester, Nottingham and Warwickshire. Email: [e-mail]

I cried

Denise Williams

Yesterday I cried

I spoke to some people about what it's like to be black

Most of them weren't the same colour as me

They didn't see me

I don't know what they saw

But they didn't see me

I wanted to help them see

that my colour is an essential part of who I am, and what makes me, me

If they don't see colour

Then, they don't see me

Being black is core to who I am

And what I am

Like being a woman

Like being a mother

Like being a wife

Like being a sister

They're all part of my identity

I don't wear labels with `wife' or `mother' around my neck

But I wear my colour

I walk around in my skin

It's part of me

It's who I am

Yesterday I cried

I cried for every racist name I'd ever been called

I cried for my dad being a `black bastard'

I cried for my aunt being `Kunte Kinte'

I cried for my brother being a `nigger'

I cried for my parents sharing a house

With what seemed like a million other people

And warming themselves on an old paraffin heater

(They were the lucky ones)

I cried for my uncle being told, `No vacancies here'

I cried for every black boy and black girl in school

Left unchallenged and not confronted for poor behaviour

I cried for every black child who begins with such promise

And ends up a `failure' according to the system

I cried for every black child who is demeaned, put down and humiliated

For every black child who is ignored

I cried for every ancestor who was

Kidnapped

Raped

Enslaved

Tortured

Beaten

Murdered

Cheated

I cried for my son not wanting to be black anymore

Because black people don't get good jobs and

Because he was tired of being called `poo face'

I cried for my children

I really cried for my children

I cried for my daughter calling herself brown

And my son telling her she's black

I cried for so little changing over so much time

I cried for every little box that ever needed to be ticked

So I can be an ethnic group

And be assured that services are fair and free from discrimination

I cried for any person that can't or won't see colour

I cried

Racing to English

Photocopiable only for use in the purchasing institution. Advice for Staff: Race