How To Be Uber-Feminine And Ladylike
(And Attract High Value Men)
By: Melina Dean
Table of Contents
Preface - 1
Introduction - 4
Imagine…
Fantasy to fact, mediocre to majestic
Why you are reading this course
What this course will do for you
What this course will not do for you
Finding femininity - 11
You are a woman
Defining femininity
The feminine mindset
How to be more feminine
How to feel more feminine
How to look more feminine
Attracting, captivating and connecting with your alpha male - 28
Traits of the alpha male
Attracting and connecting with your own high value alpha man
Mistaken intent
The desires of the alpha male
How to captivate your high value man
How to keep your high value husband attracted to you and in love with you
Case Study - 47
Is it OK to be a “high maintenance” woman on the path to femininity?
How to be ladylike - 52
Ladylike behavior and manners
Ladylike etiquette
The mindset of an uber-feminine lady
Benefits of being feminine and ladylike - 74
Common misconceptions about femininity - 77
Modern challenges to being feminine and ladylike - 81
The path to femininity - 85
Are ladies born or cultivated?
Things young ladies should know
Finishing school for refined femininity - 92
Conclusion - 95
Preface - Page 1
The words of my ever-loving grandmother echo in my ears even today: “A lady does not “grab” the whole hand to shake it. Rather, she politely extends her hand and gently holds the other person's hand with her fingers. At no time should you shake a person's hand, but instead provide an acknowledging, but minimal squeeze.”
I smile even today whenever I recall the pride with which my grandmother spoke the words.
It was something that she had been taught at “finishing school,” and was something that had no doubt been passed down the line from the ladies in the family.
My grandmother smiled, appreciative that she could pass on the knowledge of a period that accepted and expected ladies to act accordingly, and to be feminine and ladylike as they went about their business.
Mind you, dove, it was not during some demure period of time that I was privy to receiving this significant learning. This was the late 1980's, a time in which the manner of ladylike behavior began to experience its many challenges.
Of course, it is important to recognize that the way in which people present themselves is easily influenced by the time in which they live and the experiences in which they find themselves.
It is, however, not unreasonable to appreciate that ladylike conduct should and does hold a special reverence in any society in any period of time.
Preface - Page 2
There is a special elegance and charm that ladylike and feminine attributes contribute to both the personal household, the workplace and the social occasion with friends, although it's unfortunate that some people still don't actually seem to “get it.”
In some ways, society diminishes the subtleties of femininity and ladylike behavior - by associating it with near ankle-length skirts, tucked in shirts, mini cardigans and short white socks aka the Hollywood movies of the fifties.
However, would there be anything truly wrong with that, given that it signified a time in which femininity was more greatly aligned with the expectations of that period?
Today, there are many women like me and you, dear heart, who appreciate the values of past eras and continue with the style of appearance from those by-gone eras. :)
They are a wonderful reminder of when being “feminine” and “ladylike” was a natural state rather than a thought-provoking topic.
Times do change though, and sadly, natural styles and traits of feminine characteristics face greater challenges to maintaining the role of being ladylike in a modern era.
The influences around young women in particular to “party like the boys” and to encourage public displays of raucous outburst, disrespect and a showing of poor self-worth, all require an effort and personal commitment from them to switch off the noise and regain that level of self-respect that is found from within.
Unfortunately, the terms “feminine” and “ladylike” today tend to conjure images of weakness and frailty, perhaps even `daintiness' depending on a person's experience with the subject.
Preface - Page 3
These are not terms or phrases that are widely handed around in Western society, where both sexes in our world are actively encouraged to speak their mind, know their rights and aggressively pursue anything they want in a “winner-takes-all” fashion.
Society - with its progressive lifestyles - certainly influence the way in which people interact and engage with each other, which in turn impacts the way in which we feel about ourselves and how we want to be perceived by others.
Sadly, in our modern world now, women vying for high-powered jobs must be “tough” in order to be able to match it with the men.
Many professional females wear mannish looking power-suits, are highly-paid and independent, delay commitment and snub family life in exchange for the red sports car, the lofty apartment and the freedom to be themselves and to do what they like, regardless of what others may think.
Today, many women believe that offensive action is the key to getting what you want, dove. :(
Even my grandmother's feminine and ladylike ways and demure handshake have retreated, making way for an upfront, “no nonsense” manner, and a full hand grip that signifies the assertiveness of the modern world.
Yet that in no way does that minimalize the contributions of my grandmother, and others of her generation who have carried the torch for femininity and ladylike charm from one generation to the next.
It may be necessary to adapt to changing social dogmas, but the values of being a lady can indeed be everlasting!
By following the information that is shared in this course, you may surprise yourself at just how open you are to the wonderful discovery which reveals how you can be “uber-feminine” and ladylike and attract high vale men - regardless of your past or the period in which you now live!
Introduction - Page 4
Imagine…
You hesitate briefly in the doorway entrance to the decorated room. Your gentleman partner for the occasion looks at you with appreciation and approval. You glance casually around the room, your poise apparent.
You catch the eye of another guest, a woman loudly engaged in conversation with a small group of distinguished looking men in suits. You offer her a polite yet confident smile.
She awkwardly returns the gesture and stares at you, seeming to momentarily forget her place in the scene in which those around her appear bored with her manner.
You feel calm and relaxed, and you make your entrance into the line of sight of other guests.
Heads turn toward you.
People fixate their attention on you, but this is now a normal occurrence.
You are used to the interest and admiration that naturally finds its way to you from both friends and strangers.
The room is yours to own, and you know how to effortlessly work it.
Your presence attracts regard and more than a hint of curiosity.
When in your company, you are someone that women secretly need to emulate and gentlemen openly desire to meet.
Introduction - Page 5
You have an air of distinction, and a spirit of genuine and ladylike elegance.
You are a feminine, high value woman who is comfortable in any situation, a characteristic with which you capture your audience and command their respect.
The room compliments you, and those with whom you engage in conversation feel better about themselves.
You are interested in people, non-judging of them, are generous of your time with them, and sensitive to any concerns that they may share with you.
People find you to be beautiful in appearance, dear heart, but more beautiful by nature, and you leave a lasting impression on the occasion because of the uber-feminine and ladylike woman you have become. :)
“You do not need to tell people that you are feminine and ladylike. They already know.”
Fantasy To Fact, Mediocre To Majestic - Page 6
The lady in our illustration is not from the pages of a small girl's novella, nor is it from the deeply hidden desires of a young woman's diary.
It is the real life story of many women who have aspired to be more than ordinary, and who have taken the steps necessary to change their fairytale of femininity to fact!
Feminine women are majestic in their approach to life. They are giving, unselfish, and their thoughts are always for the betterment of others.
It is a special type of woman, lovely, that resonates with the path of femininity and ladyhood.
Femininity and ladyhood is not something that can be forced upon anyone and as such, no person can push a book in front of you and demand that you follow its teaching.
What a person can do however - and which is my desire for you with this course - is to share with you and make you aware of the wonderful values that you are blessed to experience each day that you are in the feminine mindset. :)
Why You Are Reading This Course - Page 7
You may already have the nuances that make a lady feminine and distinct from those around her.
You may just now be embarking on a personal journey of self-discovery to understand how you can bring out your femininity and the best in everything you have to offer.
You may be responding to that call which comes from deep within many a woman, and resonates within her a desire to explore her femininity to the greatest levels.
You may be feeling a core need to accomplish more in your relationships and your daily life, and have an aching desire to reach new milestones in who you are as a woman and what you represent!
Whatever your personal reason for being guided here, dear one, it is important that you know that you will find what it is that you need at this turning point in your life.
From the instruction that is lovingly contributed inside these pages, you will discover that there is so much more that you can achieve as a lady of substance, class and femininity - in looks, attitude and behavior. :)
What This Course Will Not Do For You - Page 8
This course will not feed you pages of random musings that you can print out and hang on your wall.
It will not try to persuade you to bother your female neighbor to follow you along your path to becoming an uber-feminine and high value lady.
It will not judge you or be critical of your beliefs or where your decisions or life choices have positioned you today.
It will not mock you if you are skeptical of its content, dove.
It will not lie to you and suggest trickery that you can cheat your way to being feminine, and it will not infer that you can become ladylike in an instant without allowing for the proper attention to detail or without the correct instruction.
This course will not in any way suggest, that you cannot, without thoughtfulness and consideration, be the best woman that you can be within yourself and for those with whom you share your life. :)
What This Course Will Do For You - Page 9
This course will serve you.
It will provide clarity to those on the path of femininity and ladyhood.
It will inspire you to explore your abilities, to believe in yourself and to trust in a higher power.
It will highlight your right to self-confidence, and it will encourage you to accept that you are a high value woman of substance with everything to offer yourself and your loved ones.
It will reveal the unique qualities that are ladylike, and it will inspire you to challenge and educate yourself to become and to live the brilliant and self-assured life of value that you deserve.
It will show you how to be comfortable in your role as a sound, capable and desired woman for whom there is a definite purpose in family and society, lovely.
This course will, with your honesty, enable your feminine mindset and empower you to stand strong and ladylike in a modern and challenging environment. :)
Finding Femininity - Page 10
You are woman, however…
Do you believe that all women are feminine?
Maybe a clearer perspective would be obtained by asking that question to a man. :)
In any case, it is true that you are woman by birthright, by virtue of being female.
However, if you believe whole-heartedly that by being a woman, you are elevated to the status of being feminine without challenge, dove, let me ask you to consider the following…
“Woman” and “feminine” - they are identified as separate entities for a reason.
If your response is that “woman” and “female” are also separate from each other in wording, remember that “feminine” is also a separate term from “female.”
We do not think of a woman and say “she looks female.” However, we will make note of a woman who “stands out” because by dress, personality, or both, she has presented herself as feminine.
You were born female, and because of nature you grew into a woman.
Finding Femininity - Page 11
The type of woman that you are determines if you have earned the title to be described as an “uber-feminine and ladylike woman.”
A feminine woman may be politely referenced at social occasions as being a “lady,” given her cultured behavior and the particular refinement in the way that she presents herself.
A feminine woman is indeed ladylike and refined in stature, cupcake. :)
“A lady is both woman and feminine, however a woman is not always feminine and ladylike.”
Around 1900 a lady was defined in terms of what one does or does not do. For example, “A lady never smokes. Only actresses and foreign women smoke.”
Where people tend to get confused with the feminine ideal is that they feel it is a “slight” on women who have not engaged the passion to pursue femininity as a lifestyle. (This is not the case. The true feminine woman considers herself to be “above” no other.)
The days of the Victorian era in which ladies were of privilege and class have been replaced by a modern world in which feminine women are instead “class ladies.” (The distinction is subtle in wording, but clearly defined.)
The feminine woman of today can be, and generally is, a class lady without the influence of wealth or social standing.
Defining Femininity - Page 12
Femininity is about improving yourself as a woman so that you can be the very best high value woman for yourself and for those closest to you, with particular effort made for the special man in your life.
Defining femininity
How then, do we define “femininity?”
Being feminine is not something that you can identify as an object with a label. (Society encourages that we label everything because that helps to maintain order within the grand scheme. You cannot, however, label something that comes from a calling within.)
Femininity is not an attribute that is connected to being pretty or dressing well.
A feminine woman can certainly be and do those things, but the outer shell is a reflection of what is coming from the internal core of the woman.
Femininity is an essence that radiates from women who have a vibrant understanding of who they are, dove, and what they can contribute to the world in which they exist.
The feminine essence is soft, gentle, kind, and giving.
It is a consciousness that fills a woman with a love for herself that she can share with family, friends and strangers alike. :)
Defining Femininity - Page 13
It is a woman's understanding that she is important and that she matters, and it is an awareness that allows her to embrace her feminine power without reservation or hesitation.
A feminine woman has insightful clarity of what it means to be a “high value woman.”:)
She is self-confident, organized, educated, intelligent, and ladylike.
This high value woman is genuine, charming, creative and happy. She is the perfect match for her ideal man; where he is dominating and controlling, she is nurturing and cooperative.
She has standards by which she conducts herself, but of course she is slave to none of them!
“A feminine woman is exactly who she wants to be, and she can be anything that she wants.”
The Feminine Mindset - Page 14
A feminine woman has the mindset of a high value lady, dear heart.
It is only the quality of class ladies who can naturally project how they feel innately, without needing to force any degree of positivity. It is just a part of their natural being.
As a feminine and high value woman, if you were to try to reject your need to be feminine, you would be hiding an essential part of who you are, which would ultimately impact your personal happiness and your relationships with others.
The Feminine Mindset - Page 15
The feminine mindset is one that has no desire to discard her natural personality.
It is displayed eagerly, very aware of its attraction of those with whom it encounters. :)
As a feminine and high value woman, you treasure relationships above material gain.
You enjoy interacting with people and it is something that you do with ease. It is a part of your femininity that naturally draws people to you.
Men in particular find you captivating, which in itself is exciting to you, but not at all surprising.
As a lady with a high feminine energy and persona, you know how capable you are of being seductive and attracting men from all levels of value.
You know that you do not need to be stunning to gain their attention, dove, you just need to project your sensuality and feminine essence to produce the desired effect.
The feminine mindset is one that projects this confidence and knowledge.
Unlike those women who see femininity as a prisoner to protocols, you feel alive and free, dove, and you can not imagine living your life to any other standards!
As a feminine and high value woman you are not dictated to by anyone, and the image that you convey and the manner with which you conduct yourself are the standards that you have determined for yourself.
The Feminine Mindset - Page 16
Your image and manner represent an established set of conscious morals, and they usurp the alternative that encourages females to take on the roles and characteristics of the masculine energy.
As a genuinely feminine woman, you are not doing anything that is foreign to you or with which you feel uncomfortable.
You really are a high value woman because that is what you need to be, and the rewards of such are what you deserve. :)
You respect the rights of others to be as they wish.
You do not denounce them or consider yourself “better.” (You simply have chosen a different direction which meets your needs and to which you can contribute. )
The path to femininity allows you to be emotional, vulnerable and at times chaotic, but it is one on which you are authentic and self-assured.
You are confident, particular about your personal presentation, and you are spontaneous and exciting.
Your feminine nature is one that has an openness and weakness about it, yet it is far from being weak in the traditional sense.
This is what makes this brand of femininity so attractive and alluring. (It may sound somewhat complex to outsiders, yet it is very natural to those who embrace it.)
It is trusting of others and it is giving to others, and it chooses to believe only in the best of other people.
The feminine mindset and nature is one that is adaptable, yet dependent on its masculine counterpart to which it is submissive without being subservient.
The Feminine Mindset - Page 17
It enhances its partner's energy of power and strength, and awakens and stirs the male energy to care for, protect and respond to its seductive charms.
The feminine nature favors a controlled manner, and is unique yet deliberate in the way that a lady speaks, walks and gestures.
The feminine and high value woman is poised at all times, and delightful and always smiling!
Her mannerisms are in no way forced; it comes from a natural state.
The feminine and ladylike woman has an “air” of lightness and softness, lovely, and she is contented and grateful to be a woman who is refined and has so much to offer. :)
A feminine woman avoids cursing and swearing, and she is never a burden to those around her.
She is polite and never intentionally ignores anyone who seeks her attention.
She is very much aware that her outward appearance is a reflection of her queenly nature, and as a result is not one to scowl or frown - even if her mood is not ideal at the time - and she will not display arrogance or speak harshly.
The feminine woman is sensitive to the needs and delicacies of others.
She is proud to be a woman.
She is happy with being a wife and mother, and enjoys her career as a homemaker if she is married and not required to work.
How To Be More Feminine - Page 18
How to be more feminine
When you are committed to traveling the feminine path, your journey will not always be completely unchallenged.
You may at times find yourself disappointed at the actions of those females who are not as enlightened as you with what it means to be a high value and ladylike woman.
You may feel undermined, and sometimes under-appreciated. (I understand, sister!)
While I have already covered in detail what it means to be a feminine woman, the following applies if you are in need of some reassurance and want to work on your femininity, or if you are new to the lifestyle and require some fast start guidance. :)
Be playful
A young girl is naturally playful, lovely. (So wisely take up any opportunities to flirt with your man and to be playful with him and your girl friends.)
Being feminine is about enjoying yourself as a female.
Walking on your light and playful side when you can keeps your spirits high and remind yourself how blessed you are to be a feminine and high value woman.
How To Be More Feminine - Page 19
Be accepting
Appreciate not only the values of those around you, but more significantly, appreciate yourself, and all that has been given to you.
Enjoy the body that was designed for you and reward it with feminine clothing, healthy eating and beneficial exercise.
Accept and be proud of your accomplishments and excited for what your future holds. :)
Be confident
Nothing makes a statement that boldly shouts “high value woman” like one who beams with confidence, dear heart.
Your confidence shows in your walk, the way you speak, your posture, and your total demeanor.
Being a feminine woman is all about being confident in your place in the world and what you have to offer it.
Be of faith
Some people may call you “mysterious,” and that you should be to a certain extent as a feminine and high value woman, but you should also be a calm, polite, gentle and spiritual woman.
You should have your faith, and you should be unresponsive to criticism.
You should never speak out of turn, and your expression should be one of a serene “knowing” of why you are here.
How To Be More Feminine - Page 20
Allow your faith and spirituality to continue to guide you on the path to femininity, and remember that you are a significant part of a much larger plan!
“We may define a feminine and ladylike woman as a woman of fine quality, who God made and polished.”
Be uncompetitive
As a feminine and high value woman you have no need to compete with other women.
Instead, enjoy being supportive of other women and encouraging them, and you will benefit from their reciprocity as you build yourself a greater circle and alliance of friendships. ϑ
How to feel more feminine
Whether you are just now beginning your journey along the wondrous path to femininity - or you are already a lovely “uber-feminine” woman enjoying the spoils of your giving to those around you - there are days when we could all feel a little more feminine, cupcake.
To help you with this, I have compiled a brief list of approaches that you can use to help you to re-engage with your beautiful feminine side. :)
How To Feel More Feminine - Page 22
Listen to music
Music is great for changing moods and revitalizing energy levels dove. You will find it helpful to listen to music that you find uplifting, yet soothing, peaceful and grateful.
Meditate
Taking just 5 minutes from a busy schedule can improve your focus and enable you to reconnect with your feminine energy and spirit, and with the essence, that makes you such a feminine and high value lady.
Do stretches
Do some moving with stretching, yoga or music. This will help to ground you, reconnect you with your body and ultimately with your feminine side, dear heart.
Immerse yourself in beauty
Surround yourself with flowers, beautiful paintings, ornaments and fabrics, and other works of art.
Read some classic literature or poetry, or do other creative activities that you find inspiring.
How To Feel More Feminine - Page 23
Dress femininely
Wear feminine and romantic structural designs and uber-feminine fashions such as:
A silhouette cut to reveal your beautiful figure or to add softness and femininity to your figure
Off the shoulder designs
Dresses that are low cut
A dress/top/sweater with a softly draped bust-line
Full gathered or draped skirts
Graceful flowing curved lines with an emphasis on the bust-line and hip-line
Soft, full gathered or fine pleated skirts graceful in motion
A straight skirt, with nipped in waist, flared peplum with soft curved detail at waist
Informal or formal balance in dress
Feminine and romantic styles have both feminine and feminine qualities, dove, as well as dramatic qualities as found in any soft, lustrous, delicate and rich fabric
Romantic and feminine materials for clothing and accessories are:
Lace
Crocheted
Satin
How To Feel More Feminine - Page 24
Chiffon
Velvet
Soft woolens
Furs and feathers
Feminine and romantic necklines are:
A low rounded neckline with gathers
A high sheer gathered neckline
A sweetheart neckline
Any soft curved effect
Off the shoulder necklines
“Allow yourself to feel the femininity of the garment draping your skin. This will tickle your senses and stir the feminine goddess within.”
Appreciate yourself
Allow yourself to fall in love with you, and why you are here.
Your feminine energy radiates from within you and projects outward to your exterior body.
Take notice of the beauty of your being that exists because of the uber-feminine and ladylike woman you have become, lovely. :)
How To Feel More Feminine - Page 25
Focus on others
A feminine woman is at her best when she concerns herself with the plight of others that she can assist.
Giving and helping are such important attributes of a high value woman, that when you remove your focus from yourself, you again embody the qualities that make you unique.
Speak beautifully
We cannot all afford to pay for elocution lessons, but we can all have free elocution lessons.
When we go to church or to a lecture, to a club meeting or listen to the news, we can listen attentively to the women who speak well and try to learn from them what qualities to cultivate. (Especially listen to the newsreaders.)
A soft and low voice is an excellent thing in woman, dear one. :)
It may be that you have naturally a loud voice, but it is quite within your power to moderate and modulate your voice.
If you cannot perfect your voice, you can at least improve it. (We learn not only by studying success, we also learn by taking note of failure.)
Though we shall learn more from the good speaker, we shall learn something, too, from the bad speaker.
We can learn to be on the lookout for the same faults in ourselves and try to overcome, or at least to modify, them.
How To Feel More Feminine - Page 26
It is far more important for the average woman that she should speak well than that she should sing well.
People are not forced to listen to your singing, but your man, friends, family and fellow citizens must hear you speak.
Think of your voice as a thing that is capable of being made either an exquisite and refined instrument of pleasure, or an instrument of torture. (We all know female voices that give us pleasure and others that give us positive pain!)
Speech is the thing that links us with our kind - uber-feminine and ladylike women! Therefore, let us try to improve our speech. :)
I also want to add a little about making noise as a woman, lovely. If you want to be an uber-feminine and ladylike woman avoid making unnecessary noise.
Be as nearly noiseless in your house as you can be, so that your neighbors will bless you and your property owner will refrain from raising your rent.
Never yell out or screech at your children or your assistants. (If they are in another part of the house, either ring for them or go and find them.
A screech is an offense against womanhood and humanity!
If you are in a hotel, train or in any public place, maintain that golden silence which should be the ideal of every traveler.
How To Look More Feminine - Page 27
Wear feminine colors
Colors will always make a woman look more pretty.
As nice as some plain blacks, whites and earthy colors can look, you will look far more playful and interesting at casual outings or at home if you add a splash of color without overdoing it.
Typical colors of the feminine and romantic style are light to deep tones of rose and violet, as well as pink, pale blue, mauve and any very flattering color.
Of course, you are not simply restricted to the colors for the clothing that you wear on an outing, dear one. You also have the option of accessorizing your furniture and draperies with your clothing.
It will certainly make your home look feminine, cupcake. :)
Attracting your Alpha Male
One of the greatest gifts that you can give yourself as a feminine and high value lady is to allow yourself to attract your own high value man, or alpha male.
This is an area of focus that not only arouses a great level of interest with women, but one which serves as a source of apprehension and misunderstanding amongst numerous feminine women.
Attracting And Connecting With Your Own High Value Alpha Male - Page 28
Many of you feel uncertain about how a strong male figure will respond to your ladylike characteristics, which comes from the misconception that dominant men prefer to be with females who reflect the male persona.
This view is unfortunate because it means that if you think like this, then you may be retreating from a position in which your perfect male complement could otherwise easily connect with you.
If you have a man of interest in your life, but hold back on allowing mutual feelings to be explored based on ill-conceived beliefs, then you risk letting him slip through your fingers which then encourages him to seek a partnership elsewhere.
How then, do you attract your perfect high value man with confidence, dove, and how do you hold onto him to secure the relationship strongly enough so that he eagerly desires to become your husband?
First, you need to recognize exactly what it is that defines a man as an “alpha male.”
When you understand the traits of your high value man and alpha male, then you will appreciate why it is that these men are attracted in particular to the feminine woman. :)
Traits of the alpha male
It is easy enough to distinguish a high value alpha male from the run-of-the-mill style men that so many younger women of today tend to settle for and attract.
Attracting And Connecting With Your Own High Value Alpha Male - Page 29
An alpha male commands attention simply by his presence.
He is confident, well-groomed, and has no need to seek approval from those around him.
He takes the position of leader, and people are comfortable, even expecting of him, to make the hard decisions.
The true alpha male is not egotistical though, and welcomes responsible people into his life through his considerate nature and genuine friendship.
The alpha male knows that he is the center of attention.
He is neither needy nor possessive, and he enjoys ladies for their company and companionship.
The true alpha male does not try to lure women into sex, lovely, though he is dominant in their presence without being aggressive.
He expresses his initial interest in a woman through his body language toward her, and he has a personality and strength of character that makes any woman feel as if she would be forever safe with him and held protectively within his embrace.
An alpha male is decidedly masculine and very attractive to the opposite sex. :)
He does not need to try to get women to like him, nor does he need to demonstrate his class by trying to impress you.
The alpha has no need to validate his value to anyone.
Attracting And Connecting With Your Own High Value Alpha Male - Page 30
When he is addressing a female, he maintains eye level contact, communicates well on any topic, and his focus is on providing and giving value to the conversation, social occasion or romantic date rather than being concerned with what he can receive from it in return.
Attracting and connecting with your own high value alpha male
The alpha male may sound like someone with characteristics that simply cannot be found in any one individual. In fact, however, the opposite is quite true.
When you have the attention of your high value man, he is in it for what he can do for you.
There are numerous qualities that high value men prefer in ladies to ladylike manners, dove, and one quality worth more than others is femininity and a certain womanly feeling. :)
A high value alpha wants a woman to be feminine and womanly, and well-educated, highly accomplished and good principled.
He enjoys a pretty and feminine appearance and a tasteful way of dressing.
A high value alpha likes to see a lady with interest join a conversation, and is fond of listening to her sound and good remarks.
Attracting And Connecting With Your Own High Value Alpha Male - Page 31
But, for all this, he likes his lady more than anything to be a woman with a feminine woman's heart, and with a womanly feeling and manner!
A high value alpha likes his lady to be sweet and gentle.
He does not like a woman to be dominant or unfeminine in behavior and he would not like to see her take a sharp look at him or be aggressive with people.
A high value alpha does not think it ideal for a woman to give a heated opinion on politics and state matters, which he would rather leave for the men to debate.
He likes a woman to understand a little of cookery, and of the domestic arts.
A high value man does not like a woman who makes him feel she is independent of him, nor does he want her to rule the whole show, and arrange matters without asking for his opinion.
He wants a woman who sees him as number one, cupcake, and her, as number two.
The alpha male sees himself as the leading head, and the woman in his life, the soothing heart of the domestic realm.
Nevertheless, he is always ready to give a woman the preference when she can conquer and rule him - not by her sharper intellect and stronger mind, but by her feminine gentleness, influence and all-sacrificing love. :)
Attracting And Connecting With Your Own High Value Alpha Male - Page 32
A high value alpha thinks that a wife should always be the helper, comforter and consoler of the husband - whom she consults in all domestic affairs and matters. (But his wife will not be the leader and principal manager of affairs, nor his adviser in matters of greater importance.)
The high value man sees a feminine and ladylike woman as a woman who has attained that ideal of behavior and bearing while struggling, stumbling, falling, getting up and going on again, and striving always, in spite of her failures.
(The chivalrous heart of lady never accepts defeat, dear heart, but time after time leaps to battle for the ideal!)
That being said, if you approach your perspective of a man by trying to “tick all the boxes,” then you will appear distant and disinterested in him as a person, and your alpha male will move along to the next group of highly interested women.
Instead, your focus needs to be on the extent to which you resonate with a man who is in your company.
By nature of being feminine with your own ladylike traits, you have already established in your mind the type of high value man that you require.
If you “connect” with a man who is attractive to you, it will become apparent quickly if you have found your own high value man who appreciates you, who can protect you, and who is driven enough to be successful both in the real world and as head of your family household.
It is not difficult for a male to fit the mold as a high value man. There is a problem in that they are in high demand, however.
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You will find that quite often that masculine men are in a similar situation that you are as a feminine woman. They too need to “hold out” for someone who matches their high standards and commitment to personal, family and community spirit.
Mistaken intent
Whilst it is the desire of every feminine woman to attract her alpha male, there are some mistakes that have become commonplace in the way in which many go about trying to win their man.
These mistakes can be categorized according to the intention from which they have occurred:
Demeaning behavior
The unfortunate trend in today's culture is for females, particularly women in the younger generation, to believe that in order to capture the attention and hearts of a genuine man, they need to mimic what they perceive to be the male approach to typical behavior in any social environment.
From their conduct, these women expose themselves to be dominating, brash, irresponsible and even repugnant - with their excessive drinking, swearing, stripping and willingness to “get” with a man out of desperation, or in the pretext of having a good time. :(
In addition, lovely, men often speak of a ladylike woman as a “model of good form” to their girlfriends and wives, which explains why jealous and resenting women look at her with darkening orbs and dub her “sly” and demean her.
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“Easy women are not what high value men find appealing or a `turn on.'”
Selecting a low value man
Whilst it is true that there are men who look for the fast and easy way to gratification, the girls that provide that scenario for them are generally unappreciated by them and ultimately held in little regard by them as a potential long-term partner.
Men who willingly accommodate or encourage this lower level of self-respect in females are also not the type of male that is worthy of you as a woman of significant class and substance!
A high value man places greater importance on his experiences with a woman, and will instantly dismiss one who is obvious in trying to win him over through unsavory means.
Taking over his role
Women who work hard to obtain the affections of a high value man are at risk of losing him through their lack of understanding of his intentions.
Remember that a high value man is all about giving, dear heart. (Like the high value woman.)
A high value man wants to please you, and he falls in love by being able to give to you and to provide value to your life.
So if you are the one who insists on “doing” everything, then you are taking on his role and turning him away from you!
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Whenever you take the role of primary provider in the relationship as a woman, you are removing yourself the feminine side of your being, and depriving a man of your sensual, feeling and playful nature that teases yet feeds his need to be masculine.
Acting the feminist
Women who believe that to be feminine means to be weak and frail, or essentially to be a man's doormat, are missing the attraction that a high value man feels for the feminine energy.
A high value man in no way considers himself to be superior to his mate.
This is a concept instead popularized by feminist activists who promote their quest to emasculate men, and misrepresents the balance that needs to exist between the power of the man and the femininity of the woman.
Where feminine women are denounced by others for being submissive to men, dove, many feminist supporters are taking the extreme position and distorting the true nature of the term, suggesting that it means being dictated to by an overbearing and hyper-sexual type cave man.
Personal presentation
Women who gossip or speak unfavorably of others will not win themselves any favors with an alpha male.
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Finding fault in people is as unattractive to men as women who talk too much, incessantly interrupt a conversation, present themselves in an unkempt manner, and overdo the use of make-up and perfume.
Men like women who are instead comfortable in and of themselves, who do not play silly and complicated mind games, and they reject those who only show an interest in his model looks, bulging wallet or chain of successful companies.
Men like women who know how to move properly. A feminine and ladylike woman treads firmly yet lightly on the ground, and glides down the stairs and dances gracefully.
A high value man likes a woman who is not afraid of a gentleman, cupcake; and why should she be afraid of her devoted servant? :)
He likes it, too, when a feminine and ladylike woman joins a gentleman's conversation with great pleasure.
Always seeking approval
If you are constantly seeking a man's approval, then you are indicating to him that you are desperate and needy and low value, thereby showing him that you have low self-esteem and significantly reducing your level of appeal to him.
Some women tend to require a man's constant attention by repeatedly asking him if they “did anything to upset him,” simply because he is in a pensive frame of mind.
Nothing repels a high value man more than a woman who has such insecurity and such little belief in herself!
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This message also applies if you are unable to look a man confidently in the eye, and if you struggle to maintain a conversation with him due to your lack of confidence in yourself.
A high value man likes it when a lady gently shakes hands with him while smiling warmly, when she writes in her in her bold hand a letter to him when she wants anything of him or wants to thank him.
He likes it when she gives her opinion about art, science, music, painting, home, foreign countries, education and traveling, and even about church and state matters, without making any excuses for her boldness.
“A lady is not afraid to have an opinion of her own, and be sure, an English lady always has an opinion of her own!”
The desires of the alpha male
Your high value male wants a woman who is not like him. That is, he is not interested in a female who feels the need to challenge him on a masculine level.
By way of natural attraction, a man is drawn to feminine energy, dove, and it matters not what you are wearing or how pretty you look in the moment, it matters only that you are feminine. :)
While it is important that a man finds you to be pleasing to the eye, your surface garments are temporary fixtures and your beauty is only skin deep.
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It is your innate femininity that a man needs to experience in order to make that connection so that your two opposing yet exclusive masculine and feminine energies can bond together.
Your alpha male will prefer you to be physically attractive. However you do not need to be beautiful looking.
He will want you to be unselfish, honest, genuine, sincere and intelligent.
You should take on the supporting role in the relationship, be agreeable, and not be critical or questioning to the point where you are challenging.
You should be submissive in that you both give to each other willingly and openly.
While a high value man is about giving and maintaining control, your energy is accepting, passive and receiving.
Your high value man desires a feminine woman who will make him proud, lovely. :)
You should hold strongly to your morals, and treat others with kindness and respect.
You should be acutely aware of your own desires and expectations.
You should stand your ground for the cause of others and, more than anything, you should integrate your life with your man's, wanting always to walk by his side.
Remember this…
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“A high value man requires a feminine woman that he can take home to meet his family. She is one with whom he can plan to make his life term partner.”
How to attract your high value man
You are a feminine, high-value woman. You are ladylike, cultured, educated, refined, intellectual, gentle, kind, and you know that you make an impression.
These are amazing qualities that set you apart from other women at any time in the same space, cupcake! :)
Your man is a masculine, high value alpha male who also holds the spotlight. He is strong, impressive, eye-catching, inspiring and exciting.
What does it take then, to bring the two of you together?
When the time comes for you to meet your perfect match, or if he is within your social sphere right now, there are several priority things along with those already revealed that you could do to ensure your path to courtship has an unhindered chance of success:
Leave the past behind
Holding onto past baggage about yourself as a person or a past love will present as a very unattractive trait to the alpha male.
The only thing to be gained from the past is to learn from it, forgive yourself for any wrongdoings, and join the here and now with a clean slate and a positive outlook.
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Be authentic
When you are being authentic as a woman, you leave an impressionable imprint as a lady who is truly original and genuine.
You radiate confidence and convey a memory in the mind of potential suitors that you really are a classy woman, who is worth exploring further.
You never need to pretend to be anything you are not.
A facade is too difficult to maintain, and it is beneficial to both of you if you begin a relationship with your true nature on show.
Show your positive nature
Confident ladies who exude a positive attitude are attractive to all men, dove. :)
It is within the feminine lady's nature to be generous with her personality, even if she is a little shy.
Let your potential high value man experience your vibrancy so that he knows you are interested!
Be playful
Reveal to your alpha male your fun and flirty side. Men appreciate playful ladies who are not too bashful to show them attention.
The more attention you give when you select him over others, the more he likes it and the more responsive he will be to you.
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Lead a full life
It is important that your man knows that you have enough interests and exciting activities happening in your own life so that you have no need to be clingy or smothering.
Look like a feminine woman
A flowing dress or skirt is more the exception than the norm now, so by wearing one you are adding to your attractiveness and sex appeal which captivates a man.
Wear your hair long and loose, in a ponytail or an elegant braid.
Pull it up into an elegant chignon to expose your neck.
Color your nails, and wear shoes with heels.
These actions are `girly' and desirable to a man, cupcake, and he loves every part of it! :)
Feminine and romantic accessories
High heeled dainty pumps
Very sheer hose
Rhinestones, ziconias or precious stones in dainty, but lavish effects
Gathered pouch bags
Long lace or sheer gloves
Veils and feathered hats
Flowered picture hats
Soft furs such as squirrel or fox. (Ethically harvested.)
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Fabric flowers such as orchid, camellia and red roses
Accessories, handbags and shoes with bows
Smile generously
Your smile makes a very big statement about you, and to an alpha male it paints you as happy, confident and in control of your emotions.
These elements are intensely attractive to a high value man.
Take pride in yourself
Look after your skin, hair and nails, stay in shape, smell nice, and moisturize your body. (Including hands and feet.)
A woman who takes pride in herself will also take pride in her man, lovely!
Frequent the same places
Enroll in day and evening classes, engage your local church, join clubs and cultivate friendships as places to find ideal men with the same interests.
How to keep your high value husband attracted to you
There is an almost traditional teasing amongst single (and some married) men towards one who is about to wed…
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They predict that once the honeymoon is over, the lady in his life will change her ways because she no longer needs to retain appearances.
The mocking derives from the suggestion that a lady minds herself completely, and gives to her man unrelentingly, in order for his attraction to her to magnify to the point where he can no longer imagine life without her as his bride.
Then, because the lady has “won her way” and no longer needs to concern herself with winning a husband, she “lets herself go” in the looks department and becomes selfish in her view towards giving affection and attention to her man.
The taunting that is done in order to worry the single man that his fun ceases after marriage is unfortunate, and paints a rather selfish picture of the married woman.
It represents the married woman as self-seeking, conniving and manipulative in order to get her own way, dear heart.
Of course, there are women in the modern world who will lower themselves to achieve their only goal of winning a husband.
But the women who play such games generally only attract low value men, and as a result it is very often that those partnerships last only a short period of time.
As a high value woman, this scenario is not something that you need to concern yourself with, unless of course you find yourself slipping in the duties that you aspired to uphold when you were still a single lady searching for her high value man.
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When you have made the commitment to be with your alpha male for the remainder of your life, it is essential that you are aware of the importance of keeping the interest and attraction alive, and that you help him to play his part in the existence of a happy and fulfilling marriage.
There are many things that you can do to please your husband so that your special “spark” as a woman retains its light.
I have listed these below as a refresher for those who have been married for some time, and as a guideline for those who are soon to take their husband's name in marriage.
Show him that you still care
Your husband likes to know that you still care enough to retain his attraction, and that you continue to place enough value in yourself, to maintain your appearance and feminine style during the marriage.
Do not be afraid to seek your husband's opinion on matters of clothing and hairstyles, as it shows him that you are presenting yourself with him in mind.
Allowing your husband to see you repeatedly in tracksuits, baggy t-shirts, “sweats” and old slippers is out, cupcake!
Instead, look inviting and pretty to him whenever possible. (Even at home.)
Make the best effort that you can to maintain the physique with which he fell in love.
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Accept him now and forever
You were attracted to your high value husband for his qualities before marriage, so do not try to change him afterwards.
Continue to appreciate him for who he is, and if improvement is a requirement, allow him to do so on from his own discovery and to do so on his terms.
If you were to pester your man to change to meet your ideals, then you are encouraging only resentment by both of you toward one another.
Support him
Whatever your relationship at home with regards to work and family, support your husband in his decisions and inspire his growth.
There is nothing to gain by competing with your husband, cupcake, but much to look forward to by encouraging him to be his very best!
Communicate with him
By maintaining an open dialog with your husband, you effectively iron out any little annoyances or misunderstandings before they escalate unnecessarily.
Avoid the “we need to talk” scenarios which have aggressive overtones, and instead approach any issues respectfully and without blame.
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Treat him like he matters
Neglectful attitudes towards your husband after the arrival of children can often lead to his resentment of you.
Remember that it is your high value male that requires less of your time when children arrive, but he still requires quality attention and time, and to feel included as a significant and dominant member of the growing family.
Maintain the tease
Continuing to flirt with your husband is an incredibly successful way in which to keep your marriage romantic and your husband interested, dove.
It boosts his ego that you still find him attractive and that he is the only man for you.
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Is it ok to be `high maintenance'?
For privacy reasons, I have changed all personal details here. The scenario however is very real.
I had known Joanne for several years. She was 26 years old when we first met, and through knowing the same people and attending the same social scenes, we came to trust in each other and respect one another's opinions.
Joanne had a magnetic personality. She was a lovely looking woman, intelligent, and very articulate. She dressed nicely, spoke well, knew her manners, and was generally charming to be around.
She was confident, held a respectable job, and could hold her own when addressed in any conversation.
Another appealing feature about Joanne was that she knew what she wanted to achieve in her life, and had her goals written down with an outlined path by which to get there.
To me, however, Joanne's most redeeming feature was that she was always positive, and would be the first one to “pep talk” any friends that were caught giving out any kind of negative energy.
In many ways, Joanne was the model for living life as feminine and genuinely ladylike, dove.
Except for one concern…
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Joanne's demeanor was largely for show.
I became aware of this when catching up with her for a chat at a cafe one afternoon.
Joanne had asked to see me and when she began speaking I noticed that her eyes began to water. It was at this point that she stopped mid-sentence and the words almost stumbled out of her mouth;
“Do you think I'm high maintenance?”
This really caught me by surprise. It was not something that I could respond to without knowing the source for this line of thinking. To me, Joanne was one of the most grounded ladies that I had known.
I guess that was the issue for me; I only knew one side to her.
To paraphrase Joanne, she had been desperate for some time to fill what was for her a significant void in her personal life; she wanted a boyfriend.
At this point, I would like to reiterate that a lady can absolutely be a complete person with a very fulfilling life if she does not have a partner.
However, when she is attached to a man, she knows (or learns) the etiquette for maintaining a workable and lasting relationship.
This is where Joanne let herself down, dear one.
Joanne had no problem in attracting men. (Moreover, they were the right type of men; honest, manly, attentive, attractive and ambitious.) But these perfect qualities were still insufficient to satisfy Joanne's feelings of insecurity.
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From what Joanne told me about her situation, she would begin dating a man, but would then become needy. She would send them up to 15 text messages a day, then practically yell at them when they would not respond.
She would interrogate men when they wanted to go to the gym or do other things without her.
She would use sex as a way to keep them interested and even when they were tired.
She would pout and punish them with silence if they were occupied elsewhere when she wanted to go to dinner.
She would constantly remind them of her need to receive compliments and public displays of commitment to show others even unknown to her that she was “taken.”
Joanne had all of these “stipulations,” dove, yet when she was in a relationship, she would openly flirt with other men because she liked to tease and make her man jealous.
This was not a one-off scenario for Joanne. It was a repetitive pattern, and one that scared men away very soon after they started dating her!
In addition, she had been told by the last two men in her life that they considered her to be hard work and high maintenance.
I wanted to share Joanne's story with you because it highlights that while we can appear to the outside world to be one thing, it is our emotions that very often decree who we are in reality.
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In our social scene, Joanne was the epitome of a very “in control” and self-reliant lady. Yet, to the men she dated, she was considered more of a lurker than a lady.
When I questioned Joanne about the difference in “relationship Joanne” to “regular Joanne,” she told me that it was easy enough to put on a show, as she defined it.
In other words, she had no trouble displaying a facade so that people would see her the way that she wanted them to see her, in any given social setting.
This is not the approach of someone truly wanting to live by the graces of ladylike behavior. This is instead the attitude of someone who is trying to be two different people.
In Joanne's case, she is certainly being hard work for a man and she is creating that work for herself.
Tricking people into being something that you are not is not sustainable in the long term, dear heart.
If there is any situation that will untie your true persona, it is when you are hoping or trying to win the commitment of your perfect man.
This is not to be confused with the intentions of a young lady who is working on her graces and traveling along her path so that she can become a better person.
This young lady is working to perfect who she knows she is and desires to become. :)
In Joanne's case, she knew that she was acting as someone whom she never wanted or intended to be in her life.
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Women can certainly encourage the title of being high maintenance in a good way, but it is the way in which it is defined that determines its negative connotations.
If a woman is flirty with her man, seeking his attention and desiring that he treats her well and spend high quality time with her, he may indeed consider that to be a trait of high maintenance, but it is in a good way.
He appreciates that she is wanting only of his company. It provides a boost to his masculine ego. :)
A woman that dresses nicely for her man, has a high expectation of his standing and appearance, prefers nice meals with him at elegant restaurants, gives grooming tips, and lights up the room when she enters, that is a sign of a classy, yet high maintenance lady that any high vale man would be willing to engage with on a personal level.
In Joanne's situation however, the term “high maintenance” reaches into the “hard work” definition in which a woman has become over-bearing, predictably over-demanding and smothering, and shows her man little respect by taking over the direction of the relationship.
This kind of high maintenance is indeed negative, dove, and a turn-off for the partner on the receiving end of it.
In addition, a lady is never argumentative, but her principles are Medean in firmness. Moreover, bluntness - that hits with feline un-reserve - appalls a man (and true lady,) and rather than hurl a bitter truth or tip a dart with malice, a lady would rather opportunely faint!
Let me leave you with this thought;
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“A lady is never high maintenance to the point of being hard work!'”
Your position in society as a lady will allow you to be all that you can be with whatever it is that you desire to achieve.
When it comes to attracting your perfect mate, you only need to allow his desirability for you to grow naturally.
As a lady, it is your allure that initially garnered his interest in you, and it is your ladylike qualities that will sustain his desire to be with you always.
“Old men treat a feminine and ladylike woman with deference; young men, with awe.”
How to be ladylike
My friend Rebecca was visiting with me recently and she chose to sit on the lounge that I have in the living area. I have been meaning to replace it with a new lounge, cupcake, although it is still in quite good condition. At least it was.
My friend is not particularly graceful or, dare I say it, ladylike in her movements.
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Instead of seating herself in a calm and fluid manner, she “plops” herself onto the seat with such force that it recently broke a spring underneath. I admit that it was amusing to witness, but I did feel for her embarrassment.
I have known Rebecca for many years and as dear a friend as she is to me, she is the first to admit that she is lacking that special refinement that would identify her as a feminine woman of class.
There are particular ways in which ladies move and adhere to the accepted social standards of manners and etiquette, lovely.
While plopping into chairs is not to be found in any guidebook, there are elegances and secrets of poise that can certainly be acquired by any woman to show her quality in any given social arena.
Rebecca, while not particularly elegant, does have one thing in common with those of us who aspire to be ladylike. She is not trying to hide who she is, or to be something which she is not.
This is the attitude that ladylike women should have of themselves. :)
The difference between the two personalities is in the level of elegance that a lady is able to display.
The term “lady” is becoming so obsolete that often one asks: “What is a lady?” Well, one thing is certain, a lady always a feminine and refined woman of substance and “ladylike” in everything she does.
It is ladylike to be polished, cultured, and to have engaged in significant personal development learning for one's own benefit and growth.
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What made Grace Kelly a lady? Outstanding among the answers is: Grace had the class and manners of a lady. :)
The true qualities of ladylike attributes are those of a feminine, high value and “classy” woman who is considerate and well-mannered.
Like the late Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis, Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge and other high value women, a lady has set herself high standards and principles, is concerned about reputation, and is the same in attitude regardless of who is in her company.
Thankfully, a lady can be made in one generation, dove, while it may take three generations to make a gentleman.
A “common” woman could never have not enough money to buy what that a true lady possesses - such as class, delicacy and refinement.
A ladylike woman's elegance is never artificial, but instead comes from an extension of her kind-hearted nature and her “breeding.” (Or self-cultivation.)
A lady's “class” is her superior type of breeding/cultivation and refinement of personality.
A feminine woman who exudes ladylike qualities believes that proper conduct and finesse are at the heart of all that is necessary to exist within “polite” society.
A feminine and high value woman believes, as will you should you continue to follow this path, that manners and etiquette are without rival in providing the foundation for ladylike behavior.
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While it is not uncommon for the language of manners and etiquette to be confused or even mistaken to be one and the same, they are in fact separate and different contexts that a feminine woman embraces as expressions of who she is as a complete and purposeful lady.
“A lady knows that many women are not ladies; many are ambiguities; many need education - remarkably.”
Ladylike manners
A lady knows that being feminine, ladylike and well-mannered is the criterion of everything lofty, noble, virtuous and desirable in a woman.
However, it is not that ladies only are subject to the values of polite and proper manners, but rather that ladies are innately conscious of the importance to display good manners and virtuous behavior on all occasions.
Ladylike manners and ladyhood has little to do with heredity. Titular rights to the name may come through ancestry, but to be a “lady” in its truest sense is to be something higher.
You are by nature - or you try, by education - to become a feminine and ladylike woman in the highest sense of the word. :)
Ladylike manners are considered necessary for every educated woman who desires to move in good society, dear heart.
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What are the fundamental qualities which make a woman deserve to be called “a lady,” whether she stands at the wash-tub or sits on a throne? What are the qualities she can cultivate in herself and in her daughters that may make her worthy of the high title in whatever society she may find herself?
They are:
Unselfishness, gentleness and refinement. (And the greatest of these is unselfishness!)
In addition:
A lady is a decent, considerate and well-mannered woman. :)
Her heart is benevolent and pure.
A ladylike woman dresses nicely for her man.
She has a soft voice and a pleasant manner.
A lady has a high expectation of a man's standing and appearance.
She is a true woman to whom all reverence is due. (And she knows that and signals it to a man without a word.)
A ladylike woman prefers to go on real dates and for nice meals with a man at elegant restaurants. (She does not “hang out” with men, cupcake!)
She always sits with the base of her spine against the back of the chair.
A lady knows what a good image entails and gives others grooming tips.
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She lights up the room when she enters.
A ladylike woman has the possession of which is unfailingly adequate to meet all life's problems with serenity, to overcome all obstacles, to “lead the pack” as if by birthright, and to “rise to the top” as cream over milk. (Just like Grace Kelly, who was born a contractor's daughter. :))
If she is nervous, she does not show it. (She has courage - due to her faith in the Divine - of the finest sort, and the courage of her opinions and the moral courage to deny herself.)
A lady is defined by having “good taste” and good ethics, with the further implication that a woman either has it or has not by nature or heritage.
Since she has high ethics she would never have the bad taste enough to get drunk in public, smoke on the street, be indiscreet about promiscuity (which she would not be in the first place,) or haggle over the price of beef in a supermarket.
A lady believes that gentle blood counts, but personality wins. :)
She lives by the “old school” code of honor, dove. (And she is not embarrassed by that!)
A ladylike woman is the feminine antithesis to a vulgarian.
When her opinions are challenged, she speaks with calm.
A lady is not self-seeking. (She may be a de Stael in wit, a petti-coated Solomon, but she plants no thorns during her itinerary.)
She is not “a disturber of ancestral bones;” her grandmothers and grandfathers sleep well.
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A ladylike woman's preferences behind the closed doors of her mind she often keeps private.
She is never an egoist; neither over-rating nor under-rating herself; her poise is maintained.
A lady is not innocently ignorant, nor ignorantly innocent, so she escapes the quagmires.
She is essentially a peacemaker.
A ladylike woman is not a worshipper of personages and important people. (However, she is not a respecter of low-value people, rightly contending that in these days to be nothing is a blunder.)
Her greatest characteristic is tolerance, lovley. (Having found her own balance and discovering no clue for egotism, she values others more highly.)
Simplicity is a lady's metier; dignity, her shield.
Her simplicity, is not twin to stupidity. (She is a keen observer of things and of people and wears no blinkers over her eyes.)
In verbal repression lies a ladylike woman's strength. (She says, but half of what she thinks, and forgets half that she hears - if unpleasant.)
She wears her feminine dignity with charm. :)
From insult and impertinence a lady is immune. (Nevertheless, she is “broad-minded.”)
When a sister errs she often ignores the error and comfortingly indicates safer paths and brighter days.
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When a brother strays a ladylike woman tactfully leads him, without censure, from darkness out into the light.
When people talk badly of others she calms turbulent tongues or modulates inflamed vocabularies by gentleness.
A lady has feminine mystique. (She is never overly familiar with people or “easy to know.” With men she does not have the “come see me” habit. )
To admit strangers into her home means a card of admission at least to the vestibule of her regard. (Hence her invitations are not carelessly showered.)
Hospitality is a ladylike woman's delight, cupcake.
She may become very poor, but her welcome will be gracious and serene.
The cup of tea a lady serves you will be a perfect brew.
Even if her china is sans pedigree, it will be of a cleanliness positively “godly,” and you will “drink it down ” - as a goddess sips nectar. :)
Socially, a ladylike woman is an illuminating exception to the “crowd.”
She may old-fashioned notions that puzzle the majority, but delight the enlightened few.
A lady has no longings for a high power career in place of marriage or for feminism.
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She detests snobbery, but has standards and refuses to know anyone, but the “best people “for her to know. (Those who are high value or who give to the world the worthy products of her talents are among her “best people.”)
A ladylike woman does not look upon great wealth as a bar sinister to social eligibility. (What has money to do with true ladyhood?!)
She knows the need of money is the root of much evil; therefore among her friends are women whose millions are but golden addenda to their charming selves.
A lady is often born to money or acquires it herself or by marriage.
Many people are called upon, but few are chosen as her intimates.
To all a ladylike woman is careful to be polite, and so escapes the snare of petty attacks and public “roastings.”
She is not a one-idea woman, dove. (When musical, she is not music-mad. When literary, she does not eschew everything else.)
A lady may not be “stunning,” but she will always be stylish.
In fashion, behind “la mode” she would she rather lag, than herald it with trumpeting creations.
A ladylike woman is not a prude, but modesty is one of her innate qualities.
Aggression has no part in her nature.
A lady uses subtler methods to win converts to the better way.
A “tomboy,” “ball-busting” woman and/or a card-carrying feminist fills her with horror, but she is delightfully companionable.
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As a woman a ladylike woman behaves beautifully.
She may not be beautiful to look at, however, the daintiness of her is admired, and oh the sweetness of her smile and cheerfulness. :)
A lady's ways are ways of pleasantness, and yet no fool is she.
Her little “aloofnesses” enhance her prestige.
A ladylike woman is a “sweetheart” literally, and far removed from her are those senseless caprices that cheapen their possessor.
She wears no shoulder chips. (Nevertheless, a fine spirit has our lady and shows it when crossed.)
A lady is not selfish nor will she wed the brute - knowingly.
She drives to cover every little black beast that she sees trying to gnaw the fine fabric of feminine honor.
Nothing - save things that threaten future disaster - wakes a ladylike woman to opposition.
Trivialities she lets pass for the sake of harmony - a thing she adores.
Public endearments are not in a lady's category, dear one.
Being in a bar appeals in no way to her.
A ladylike woman seeks to improve her mind and to qualify for better motherhood and wifehood. (This goal takes up the major part of her waking hours.)
The opera, plays, concerts, musicals, educational pursuits, feminine hobbies, and an occasional function at home or with friends, occupy her leisure.
A lady makes time for worthwhile things - such as travel.
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Being receptive, she sees and hears infinitely more than “smarter” women.
The home life of a typical ladylike woman is the sincerest index of her ego. (In it she indelibly expresses herself. Here it is that she exercises to the maximum her potentiality and that her feminine personality scores.)
Even if she is well housed, has “married well” and is a mother of several children, she wields her ladyship with grace.
A lady's “rulership” is not iron-clad and her home is not a house of rigid discipline.
She rules her home with patience, thrift and skill.
A ladylike woman's husband safely trusts in her, cupcake, and her price is above her birth-stone. :)
Her “lord” is neither pedestaled nor door-matted.
A lady respects the individuality of every one - including the one she married.
She knows when a man is a “player” or devious.
A ladylike woman respects a husband's individual right to be heard, however, reluctantly she may suffer it at times. (Thus her husband, often through her courtesy, becomes his own dupe.)
Phoniness and pretense never finds a foothold in her me'nage.
Ostentatious display seems to a lady's well-poised mind not only belittling, but ludicrous.
She never confounds litter with furnishing, or junk with art.
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A ladylike woman's house is beautiful - even if she is on a tight budget - its atmosphere fine and clear.
She is never too busy to listen to her “boy,” advise her “girl” or to read to their father.
Young people en masse delight in a lady. (She is their ideal mother and friend.)
Laughter is never hushed in her home, and music is always welcome.
A ladylike woman is invariably courteous.
The quality of her politeness is rare, dear one, and it has its undertow in consideration. :)
Toward all our human frailties is a lady tolerant.
She knows that temperament rules the world and that the devil rules temperament; hence her judgments are lenient.
A ladylike woman is good and kind; though here and there is a more definite attribute - like feminine distinctiveness, charity, virtue, cleanliness and substance.
She is gentle and nice to every one.
A lady is honest, true and kind - even in the poorest classes
She is usually brought up to be a lady in habits and manners. (It can takes quite a long time to become a lady when one is not used to it.)
A ladylike woman knows that many women are not ladies; many are ambiguities; many need education - remarkably.
A lady tries to be a lady in all of her notions and in all her ways.
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She knows that to deserve the tile “lady,” a woman must always follow the Golden Rule, and “do unto others” as she would have them “do unto her.”
A ladylike woman knows that is not always easy to be kind, unselfish and considerate, but in that lies the crux of the matter; the real battle is with herself.
She knows that it is so easy to conquer other people, but it can be so hard to conquer oneself! (Like the struggle against dirt and disorder, it is not a battle that can be fought and won overnight, and must be continued to be fought.)
A lady knows that just as she must bathe, brush, comb and polish her body every day, so must she work away at curbing her selfishness, at polishing her manners, and at trying to deserve that comment said of her. (“She is a lady.”)
She knows that there is no more carelessly used word than “lady” in our language, unless it be the word “gentleman.”
That is a sign of a truly classy, yet high maintenance, lady, dove - that any masculine high value man of substance would be willing to engage with on a personal level!
A few DO'S of becoming a lady:
Study grammar; learn to write a better letter, even if you consider yourself educated.
Get experienced assistants.
Give generously to charity if you can and go on committees; you will meet there educated, well-bred women. (And ultimately men.)
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Keep your eyes open to the way classy women do things; if you are clever you can soon play the game.
Remember this game is no new game; it is the old game of life, and the qualities that make a woman popular in a small town circle will in the end make her popular in the larger, more formal circle of a great city.
Trust yourself first and last - and all the time - and remember that the great battle is always with yourself, never with outsiders.
In order to come up to the standard of a higher culture, lovely, you must first of all improve yourself. :)
Read and study, and keep the best company that you can find.
Find out what your own natural gifts and tastes are and cultivate them. (Perhaps your early years have been too busy for you to think much about your tastes. Now your time has come!)
If you love music, yet are musically very ignorant, study music, hear all the good music you can, and cultivate that taste.
The same applies to art; learn how to look at pictures, at statues, at beautiful architecture. (Cultivate, cultivate, cultivate!)
Make good use of your time. (The most precious thing that your money can buy for you is time - time to study and improve yourself as a woman and to love.)
Look at yourself as if you were a garden. (Learn what things will flourish best in the garden; weed and water and tend it as you would tend the roses and lilies in your earth garden. They will flourish.)
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Be learning something new every day. (When I hear people say that they are too old to learn something, I always want to tell them a fact that has been of great use to me.
My grandmother learned how to use Facebook, and opened up an account on there when she was 90 years old. Now, in her ninety third year, she is writing her second book!
My grandmother is fluent in French and Latin, too, and I think she gets the greatest intellectual pleasure in her day during her time spent researching for her books and cookery projects. It is never too late to learn!)
Learn to appreciate the classic wardrobe for a woman, lovely. (The Classic style still holds a most important part in a high value and ladylike woman's wardrobe.
It is one of the few styles of dress that never goes out of style and a woman with little means may afford if - as well as can women in more fortunate circumstances.)
A few DO NOTS in becoming a lady:
Do not pretend to be what you are not; you will be found out. (Be perfectly natural.)
Do not talk of how many assistants you have or how much you pay for things.
Do not dye your hair a crazy color or paint your nails in garish colors.
Do not use swear/cuss words.
Do not wear flashy clothes or too much jewelry.
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Do not spend too much of your thought, money and power on your wardrobe or on your home; let the great outlay be on yourself. (The art of dress is not by any means to be looked down on, but the real struggle for a woman comes in enlarging her thought and identity.)
Do not try too blindly to follow the fashion in tastes or entertainment.
Signs that impeach a woman as unladylike:
1. Too bold; forward; masculine; “do not care” attitude; “slap-dash” style.
2. Talks loudly; enters a room boldly; walks in a heavy and ungainly manner; laughs raucously; leads the rest.
3. Vocalizes thoughts often; asks no permission; assumes that others can do nothing better than listen to her.
Now let us move onto manners…
Manners are not something that are held in as high regard as they once were, which makes them even more valuable and appreciated when performed as part of our regular communication.
Manners are a display or gesture of kindness that comes from within, dove, and are offered with sincerity from one person to another.
Manners to a lady are as natural as breathing, performed without due thought or consideration as to whether or not they should be offered. (A prime example of this is was when Marie Antoinette - on her way to the scaffold - apologized for stepping on the executioner's foot.)
Like Marie, you should know that your manners are a direct reflection of your family and upbringing, your attitude and regard for other people, your level of class and elegance, and the type of person that you are in your thoughts and actions. :)
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Conventional manners
The golden rule with manners is that you should treat others as you would have them treat you.
A lady apologizes when she makes an error, but does not berate others when they make mistakes.
Greeting and fare welling people is expected of a lady, as is the politeness of “please” and “thank you.”
A lady offers praise when it is worthy, and encouragement when it is needed.
She is never rude, lovely, and gives her full attention to those with whom she is conversing.
A lady is able to remain calm in sensitive matters and never rushes others during important decisions.
She will hold a door for someone and help those in need wherever possible.
A lady can also say “no”, and she does so firmly without emotion.
Unlike manners, etiquette governs actions by expectations. That is, etiquette is obtained by learning instead of by feeling.
Etiquette is necessary because it assists with keeping actions, discussions and occasions orderly.
While many define these orderly processes by way of clearly defined “rules,” I prefer to think of them as guidelines on which ladies can rely to direct them in matters of social importance.
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There are helpful and established etiquette guidelines for practically every moment to which a lady may be exposed.
Short of writing a separate manual on the topic, there are particular settings that a feminine woman is more likely to encounter in which she will require an understanding of ladylike behavior…
Social media
It is not ladylike to be posting with fierce regularity on social media sites, or to be uploading sensual, very revealing or embarrassing photos onto them. A lady would not be involved in such incidents for those images to exist, dove.
You really need to be aware of what it is you are posting on the likes of Facebook and what it is that you are messaging on Twitter.
Do not accept friend requests from strangers, share your personal details, or become involved in arguments.
A lady prefers real and personal time with true friends to online messaging and obscure status updates.
When you are online, be respectful of people and encourage the same in return.
Dining out
Your understanding of restaurant dining will also assist the wait staff tremendously. This means that a lady treats them with respect at all times.
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Turn your cell phone off or to silent, and never use it to speak at the table.
Use your outermost cutlery first, and if you have bread, it is ladylike to take one piece and a small portion of butter to use directly from your plate.
Place your napkin on your lap prior to eating, dove, and keep your elbows off the table.
When you have decided on your order, place your menu on the table in front of you.
To conclude your meal, place your cutlery diagonally across your plate to signal that you have finished your meal.
The first date
Arrange for your date to collect you from home, otherwise meet him promptly at the location.
Show interest by asking questions about him.
Avoid foods strong in garlic and onion.
Politely gesture toward your purse at the end, but expect that he should pay for you.
Allow only a cheek kiss at the end, or a handshake if you have no further interest in meeting him again.
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Greeting people
It is acceptable to greet and farewell close friends with a hug.
New acquaintances should be received and parted with a handshake.
Public affection
Holding hands, hugs and gentle kisses are appropriate for displays of public affection.
Long, sensual or groping affection should be saved for the privacy of your home.
Meeting his parents
Use your common sense with this one, and dress modestly in skirt and blouse.
Show an interest in each family member, with particular attention to his parents.
Be aware of your table and eating etiquette.
Offer to assist with the dinner preparation, lovely, and clear it with the man if it is OK for you to take something to give his parents as a gesture of thanks for the invitation.
Party guest
If you can attend, graciously RSVP well before the due date, and never ask who else will be there.
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Unless it is a work function, avoid discussing work unless specifically prompted in a conversation.
Only “tour” the house if invited and refrain from touching items.
Sitting
Keep your legs together without crossing, unless it is at the ankles.
Appreciation
A hand-written thank you note is required in return for an act of kindness or having something nice done for you.
Social drinking
Not a single person considers an intoxicated woman to be classy or a lady, dove.
Enjoy a drink and know your limit.
Entering and exiting vehicles
Ensure your legs are together at all times.
It is bottoms entering first and legs exiting first.
Common sense should also account in a large way for this scenario.
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Grooming
This should be contained to the restroom only. A lady does not touch or adjust herself in public view.
Learning etiquette is not a way to make you feel or appear to be better than other people, dear one.
In keeping with your ethos of consideration for others, the skills of etiquette simply add another element to your ability to think about others first. :)
Furthermore, etiquette skills only serve to enhance the know-hows that you can take with you into life situations now and in the future, as well as contributing to the grace and elegance of your established ladylike characteristics.
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When you embrace your true feminine nature, you are staking your position in the world in a way that ensures that you must be noticed.
There is no need for you to flaunt anything, or for you to feel the need to be loud or overbearing.
You do not need to draw attention to yourself - your presence is enough to attract those around you who are magnetically captivated by you.
On the one hand, there is nothing magical per se about the way people respond to you.
On the other hand, you are either willingly or unknowingly using your God-given ability through your ladylike stature to own the attention of anyone in your immediate vicinity.
Through your demeanor alone, people speak more kindly to you without the harshness that plagues most modern conversation.
From a behavioral point of view, you hold a position of power that is a mystery to most within your community.
Your inner strength works with you, lovely.
It allows you to maintain your reserve and to conduct yourself in a structured manner that often belies the understanding of others who, unlike you, cannot contain their own indulgences.
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As a feminine and ladylike woman, where the behavior of others is unpredictable, yours is composed and purposeful.
“Being feminine makes you unique - especially to men - and this maximizes your value to those with whom you make contact.”
Being feminine and ladylike, however, does more than just raise awareness about you or add value to those around you. Most significantly, it maximizes your own levels of self-worth and value.
Having ladylike qualities enhances your own levels of self-interest and ignites a generous appreciation for your own self-image.
Your level of self-confidence as a woman rises, cupcake. :)
You take pride in who you are and gain a poise that was distinctly absent in your pre-feminine existence.
You project a happier and welcoming character, from which you gain more recognition at work and approaches from gentlemen for outings and dates.
You delight in feeling womanly and pretty, and relish in knowing that you do not need to fit into many of today's stereotypical cultures that breed hardened, masculine women just to feel that you are inherently strong.
You do not question yourself as a woman, but rather embrace your role as a nurturer, wife, lover, mother and friend.
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When you listen to your true calling and act on developing your female energy, you remove the blinkered view through which you were previously seeing the world.
You understand that it is a sign of strength to allow other people like a partner to look after and do things for you.
You realize that it is not vain or greedy to accept compliments and gifts, and that a gentleman can warm you with his jacket or buy you dinner.
You stop sabotaging your chances for new friendships and relationships because you naturally welcome new people and experiences into your now expanding social and personal circle.
People will like you, dear heart. They think of you immediately for social invitations because they feel relaxed around you.
You have the ability to release the softer, more gentlemanly side from the most hardened male in one instance. In the next, you take a stand for a cause close to your heart or defend a weaker person who is in need of your support.
You feel secure, you are gracious, and you stand above the need for reacting to bad manners or for trying to impress others within your company. They are already impressed!
When you are feminine and ladylike, you are self-assured, gentle, decisive, kind and you believe only the best in yourself and in others.
You are a better YOU, and you naturally reflect your core values towards others to make them feel better about themselves.
Being feminine is not about being a martyr. You are simply being a woman of high and treasured value, and your world as a result is a much happier and more pleasant place in which to live.
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On occasion, you may hear an uneducated person - regardless of gender - make use of the term “lady” in a way that is intended to be derogatory or sarcastic.
When verbalized in this style, the offending party is generally implying that your manner or disposition is one of snobbery, “high class” and/or pretentiousness, and in such a way that you consider yourself to be above the need to associate with others.
As you now know, this impression of ladylike status is an untruth, lovely, and you should accept such pointed comments from the intending offender in the spirit from which they were derived; as a compliment that arose because that person was really hoping to be able to spend their time with you!
In addition, such taunts come from those who are then disappointed because they did not get their own way.
Ironically, such individuals fail to recognize that their expected insult is confirmation for you that you are traveling along your correct path as a popular and impressive lady who has a presence that attracts admirers.
Always remember that. :)
As revealed, this scenario implies that someone who is ladylike holds a certain social status that is above “common,” as related to the lives of most working people.
This can arouse jealousy.
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In this context, this is an ignorance that lingers from the perception held by many that being ladylike and feminine continues to hold ties to bygone eras - a time from the past in which women of society were of one with wealth and pedigree, and the chain of social communication was limited to those within your own class, noble or otherwise.
While the ladies of aristocratic times should be revered for the lessons in behavior, charm and grace that they have handed down along the line, it is a much different era in which we now live.
While we strive to maintain many of the dignities of those times as part of what we stand for and who we are, we also need to be appreciated and celebrated for a new and challenging set of modern standards which requires ladies to be unique, strong and independent.
We are so much more than place setters at the dinner table, perfect party hosts and advocates for rattling off rules in the latest ladies etiquette book.
We are charged with revitalizing a culture of dignified, elegant and well-mannered standards that define who we are as poised, classy, feminine and high value women.
This is as exciting to us as it is mysterious to those who find themselves struggling to grasp the concept of our art, cupcake! :)
Feminists, for instance, are charged with aggressively laying down demands for the political, economic and social “equality” of all women.
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Many feminists fight for their cause in a manner that is loud, abrupt and confronting. (Just look at the feminist activists, “Femen” and “Pussy Riot!”)
While we have never held ourselves to the patterns with which they make their point, the very closeness of the word “feminine” and “feminist” are regularly intertwined to confuse our identities, and lead us to be judged disparagingly for events in which we hold no influence.
More traditional misconceptions are that feminine and ladylike women are boring, are too meek to speak what they are really thinking, and are always taking queue from their stronger male partners.
Many feminists believe that feminine women and ladies are too feeble to be active or fun-spirited.
They believe that they are too conservative in their dress style to be fashionable or sexy, and must strictly adhere to all of the “rules” of etiquette and femininity in which they have received formal schooling.
They believe that ladies living in the twenty first century are “too old-fashioned,' dear heart - because in their minds, only elderly females should care about being in line with ladylike attributes!
Each of the above mentioned criticisms completely miss the message that is clearly delivered by one who is feminine as a woman and who chooses to be ladylike in her disposition.
A lady brings together the two halves in her relationships.
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A lady is capable and knows exactly where she `fits' within any given situation.
She is never confused by her role and, rather than being tied to outdated conformities, witnesses the positive experiences that flourish from practicing her patience, gentleness and softness. (All elements which are essential for remaining true to herself.)
When a lady is true to herself, she is not showing signs of weak vulnerability, cupcake. She is showing expressions of strength that are nourished by her capacity to be open, flexible and non-controlling.
“A lady is always authentic and never yields to criticism.”
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It would be irresponsible when offering guidance on the virtues of femininity to ignore or simply brush over the challenges that have become common place for the modern lady.
The traditional traits of kindness and consideration for others are being tested more now than has ever previously been required.
The personal value of self-respect - which is at the heart of every high value lady - is facing repeated confrontation from sources of modern living which attempt to encourage loose morals, jagged relationships, and a disdain for anything which represents structure, lawfulness or community spirit.
This century in which we live is achieving so much by way of technological advancement, lovely. However, it is doing so at a cost to the way in which people communicate with and act toward one another. :(
It is creating a rapidly expanding culture where the emphasis is on the “me” psyche.
The general population insists on receiving instant gratification for each of their immediate wants and needs.
People are much more aggressive in their ambitions and their attitudes.
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It has become increasingly the norm to be hostile and abusive to others, and to adopt a pack mentality, than it is to extend the hand of help and friendship.
Many women today are in danger of losing their way. I cannot call them feminine or ladies because the behavior displayed by them is anything, but feminine and ladylike.
For example:
A woman abuses a gentleman for holding a door open for her.
Two drunken teenage girls commence to hitting and kicking a seated elderly gentleman on a bus.
Women in hotels asking attached men for their contact numbers.
Women bedding their boss to get ahead at work.
Young women dressing and behaving as “ratchets.”
Young (and grown) women referring to each other as “B-tches.” (As if it is a title of honor!)
Women saying that a man has to be able to “handle” them. (As if they see themselves as wild creatures that need a zookeeper, loop leash and cage!)
These scenarios all sound rather fictional in nature, dove, but they are unfortunately very real incidents that have been revealed to me by friends or have appeared on the internet or on the local news.
The challenge that these types of occurrences create is one in which society's perception of ladies becomes downgraded, and when they are heard or experienced often enough, the picture is painted of a world in which women are labeled as specific types of females or as low-value.
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For example:
The hard-ball career chaser.
The rough and rowdy unsavory type that will provide a “good time” on command.
The types of women in these real-life scenarios have relinquished all respect for manners and etiquette, and even less respect for themselves.
While it is expected that the boundaries of etiquette and femininity will expand and change with the times, cupcake, these women diminish the charm and grace that should pass effortlessly from each generation to the next.
It is ironic that as high value ladies, we often contend with the opinion that we are weak and subservient, when it is these wayward women who give in to money and power, alcohol/drug abuse, foul language and sexual acts in the name of achievement and social conduct.
It is neither my intention nor desire to sit in judgment on the way that other women choose to conduct their affairs. I do, however, feel the need to increase your awareness of the contrasts in female influence and behavior, and the challenge that it creates for all women to be accepted as intelligent, cultured, elegant, and kind.
“This is a time in which a lady really needs to stand strong on her beliefs and provide stability and guidance.”
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While it is not our position to be “Joan of Arc” type heroines and right the wrong-doings of others, I do believe that we can - in our own independent way - act as feminine role-models and provide a guideline for others who seek to discover the ideal way to be ladylike in the current era.
Despite what may be happening around us, a real lady, especially today, will only gain the respect of others by first respecting herself, dear one.
As feminine and ladylike women we do not throw ourselves at men in the guise of flirting, nor do we need to repeat crude jokes.
We do not feel the need to aggressively chase a career or make it the prime position of our life.
We do not reveal ourselves in minimal dress, or sit with our knees reaching for opposite ends of the chair.
As ladies we do not participate in drunken parties or engage in casual sex.
This has never been the feminine way or lifestyle, and, modern times or not, it never will be for a lady.
Instead, a modern lady raises the bar for others - men and women - just by being her confident self. And because we are “owners of the raised bar,” the modern world is and will be as exciting for us as we choose to allow it…
“A modern lady is powerful, refined, and radiates elegance from within. She is charitable and generous, with a strong sense of purpose, and she knows exactly where she fits inside this modern world.”
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Question: Are feminine and high value ladies born (nature) or encouraged (nurture?)
Answer: Let the emotion-charged debate begin!
Are ladies born or cultivated?
You may recall this wonderful comedic saying by Professor Henry Higgins in the classic “My Fair Lady” movie:
“No, Eliza, you didn't “sy” that; you didn't even “say” that. Now every night before you get into bed, where you used to say your prayers, I want you to say “The rain in Spain stays mainly in the plain” fifty times. You'll get much further with the Lord if you learn not to offend His ears.”
In this fictional storyline experiment, Professor Higgins believed that he could take a very common woman from the streets and train her to be a lady.
My question to you then, is, do you agree that this is all it takes to enable someone to become ladylike?
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Admittedly, I am generally somewhat of a fence sitter in these nature versus nurture scenarios.
This is simply because it so easy to see the persuasion that our inherited genetics contribute to our character, yet the strength of that character is so very much determined by the extent to which it is allowed to flourish.
These questions typically cause raging debate from both sides of that fence of mine, with each base proffering a reasonable argument to support their stand on the matter.
Where then, do I stand on the topic of ladies being born or raised, lovely?
I believe that each high value lady has an innate kindness from birth.
She has that natural spark inside of her that realizes that she is something special, she has a unique desire to serve others with her giving and generous spirit. :)
I believe that what comes from the heart naturally cannot be learned. It is her genetic inheritance that provides her with the base from which to achieve results.
And now it is “however” time…
Hear me out on this.
I believe that the innate love that comes from our “inner feminine lady” is certainly something that needs to be nurtured to allow it to flourish, so that the lady inside can truly become all that she is meant to be in every aspect of her life.
I believe that within young ladies of virtue, those who are not privileged to be brought up in this manner will receive the direction that they need from a higher power in order to set them back on track to their rightful destiny.
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I believe with every ounce of my being that any woman who feels the call to transform herself to the ways of the modern lady, can and will receive the teaching that will change the way in which she thinks of herself and in how she views the world.
Every willing woman can - without fear - learn to be a lady through reading, imitating, and practicing her art.
Though she may feel awkward and clumsy at first, repetition and commitment will ensure that she becomes a lady of grace, balance and poise.
She will become educated and capable in every significant aspect of her life, and she will admire herself for new-found confidence, esteem and appeal. :)
Things young ladies should know
Young children are very dependent on their parents and those around them, so it is only natural that they absorb the things they see their grown-ups doing and saying.
Young girls in particular are easily swayed by the influences of their mother and the actions of their older siblings.
They may be sitting quietly on a small stool pretending to be at a tea party in one moment of time, and in the next, they can be outside attempting to follow their older brother up the branch of a tree.
In order to prepare your young princess for the advantages of life as a striking lady, it is essential that you start grooming her from an early age.
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You can begin your daughter's subtle training even earlier than pre-school age, at which time she will begin to understand that mommy is a nice person, and that being nice to others encourages others to treat you nicely in return.
Young girls regardless of age are very attentive to their mothers, so you will need to be her shining example of a feminine and ladylike woman, and of ladylike manners, speaking and dress.
Your daughter at every age is going to be subjected to the whims of the modern world which sends confusing signals, dove.
The way in which people act toward each other and the senseless way in which they behave toward one another will at times be contrary to the messages that you are instilling in her and enforcing at home.
To help your growing lady overcome the encounters that will challenge her developing femininity, there are particular ways in which you can prepare her for ladylike behavior in the exciting years that will follow.
Encourage words with meaning
Just as cursing and swear words are not a part of a lady's vocabulary, neither is gossip or hurtful comments about other people.
The passage of the feminine woman is one of kindness and respect, therefore teaching your daughter not to talk down about those around her is an essential part of her understanding.
The Path To Femininity - Page 89
Gratitude has value
It is essential to teach your young lady the value of gratitude.
Showing grace is a telling element of ladylike behavior and should be exhibited liberally when someone does something nice for her or when she receives a gift.
Manners are essential
Good manners are the most basic of ladylike behavior that should be one of the first lessons passed to your daughter.
There is no excuse for failing to say “please” and “thank you,” dear heart.
This extends to a daughter excusing herself to go to the restroom or other departures from a group, and other etiquette requirements like chewing with her mouth closed.
Mindset is engaging
Your daughter should be encouraged to smile as often as she is naturally capable.
A sincere and genuine smile will engage the good graces of others and heighten her attraction to them.
Your daughter should always look the other person directly in the eye to show that she is confident and interested in what they have to say.
The Path To Femininity - Page 90
Appreciation for self
Your daughter should appreciate her femininity and enjoy her youthfulness by showing modesty in her dress sense and use of cosmetics.
She should practice personal hygiene daily, and be reminded that her presentation will determine how she is treated by others.
Respect for others
Up-and-coming young ladies should be taught that it is ladylike to respect both the property and privacy of other people.
Ladies do not take what does not belong to them, nor do they ask questions regarding matters that are not of their concern.
Practiced listening skills
It is important for young ladies to be aware that they listen more than talk, lovely, and that active listening is an important and rare quality.
When young ladies need to speak to someone who is engaged in a conversation, they recognize that it is polite to wait until that person has finished speaking before engaging their attention.
Self-reliance
Encourage your daughter to help you around the house, with the focus chiefly on feminine tasks that will predominantly form the basis of her household duties as a wife and mother.
It is feminine to work hard to look after the family.
The Path To Femininity - Page 91
Greeting and fare welling people is expected of a lady, as is the politeness of “please” and “thank you.”
Be studious
As much as your daughter should be dedicated to her school studies, you should also introduce her to a life of culture outside of school.
It is feminine to be widely read, and opens doors for polite and educated conversation in social circles.
It is ladylike to study for traditionally feminine professions that include nursing, teaching, beautician and secretarial work in the unfortunate event that she is unable to be dependent on a husband to support her family.
A lady is a woman whose well-cultured mind has by true study and cultivation been refined, dear one.
Promote punctuality
It is ladylike to be timely for engagements. Punctuality is respectful to the time requirements of other people.
Praise your daughter and encourage her feminine learning with words and language that affirm her path.
You can help her to build her self-esteem with praise that ensures that she feels good about herself and all that she is going to achieve as an accomplished and upcoming high value lady.
Finishing School For Refined Femininity - Page 92
Finishing schools allow you to develop and improve upon your already innate abilities to be empowered, self-confident individuals who are comfortable and capable in any social situation.
With some schools accepting girls as young as ten years of age, the curriculums of today provide a well-rounded education in matters that extend beyond simple literature, numeracy and social media savvy.
Those who enroll are instead skilled in the art of academic, social, and professional relationships mastered through their inherent charm, discipline and self-assurance.
The mistake is often made that Finishing schools are meant to change you. This is simply a misunderstanding, dove. The role of a finishing school is quite basic…
“Finishing school enhances who you already are, transforming you more readily into the lady that you inevitably become.”
Finishing schools help to provide the polished appeal that is reserved only for ladies of class.
The advice I give you in this course is very much like what you will hear at a finishing school. However, I will be offering you finishing more advanced finishing school classes with a certificate in the future. :)
Finishing School For Refined Femininity - Page 93
A high value woman transcends beyond the mere ordinary and controls an unforgettable presence.
She commands respect and admiration by nature of her status.
Finishing schools contribute to refining these qualities so that a lady enjoys knowing that she is truly unforgettable.
Enrolling in a Finishing school should be considered an investment in yourself, cupcake. :)
It is an asset to your progression when you attend finishing school and receive instruction and guidance from those who have lived a lifetime dedicated to the higher standards of ladylike behavior.
When your formal training is conducted with like-minded peers in a friendly and supportive environment, it is ideal.
Finishing establishments are also known as etiquette or charm schools.
Changing times have decreed that the instruction given now differs to that in teaching from the early 1900's when women were schooled primarily in winning a man, followed by then maintaining his affections through accomplished cooking and competent housekeeping.
Today, ladies are still trained in the social graces, but there is a more rounded emphasis which accounts for the need that very often occurs for one to balance family, social and working obligations.
While it is common for finishing schools to vary in curriculum, you will find that most of them cover the necessities of living life more elegantly in response to social and cultural activities.
Finishing School For Refined Femininity - Page 94
Some will also include courses on learning a second language, cooking, dancing, and even balancing a family budget.
More specifically, the focus of finishing schools is on helping you to feel self-assured and happy with yourself as an elegant and noticed lady, lovely.
The classes that equip you to becoming more ladylike are those that engage you in the skills that we have previously addressed.
This includes: etiquette or personal conduct, personal finishing or grooming, deportment or personal style, and leadership or independence - to be able to confidently deal with a situation that calls for it.
Finishing school will address the qualities within you that make you gentle, generous, well-mannered and elegant as a woman. In other words, you learn the many qualities which make you feminine and ladylike!
By the way. I will be creating an online finishing school in the near future. :)
Conclusion - Page 95
As much as we love a happy ending, I have to report that Joanne has not yet found her alpha male. The reason for this is clear to me, but argued by her.
Joanne is an example in exposing that while you can “know” the manners and rules of decorum, dove, you really need to believe in what you are applying, or you will be foiled by your own efforts to pretend to be something other than yourself.
A feminine woman by contrast is one who is very true to herself.
To be feminine and ladylike requires more than just knowing about the rules of etiquette and a perpetual showing of impressive manners.
It is instead a journey of self-discovery that brings out the ultimate in women that outsiders could never really understand. And you could probably say that it is not completely their fault.
Modern times have created a shift away from elegant social standards to one that is centered almost entirely on the individual and how he or she can beg, borrow or steal a fast track to the good life.
Femininity however, does not stand in judgment of the way people choose to live their lives.
The role of the feminine woman is instead to be giving of those who are open to receiving, and to put the needs of others above hers whenever she can offer her hand.
Conclusion - Page 96
The feminine woman is ladylike in character, and by nature she is kind, sensitive and nurturing.
The feminine lady has direction and has the self-confidence to achieve her desires, yet is vulnerable enough to require the balancing of a masculine energy to which she can offer her support and submission.
You are now, at this point, aware of what is required to be feminine and ladylike, dear one. :)
It is not something that you can analyze and struggle to grasp, though I'm sure many try that approach.
There are elements which you can certainly learn and be taught, as femininity is not a one-time deal. Rather, it is a life of grace and charm, of passion and giving, of loving and being loved that rises within you.
When you honor it by following your feminine path, it is then that you are being true to yourself and experiencing being the best that you can be - elegant, feminine and ladylike!
Ever yours,
Melina Xx
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