Dishwater in My Eggs

By Eliza Christine

Beginning, Next Section

Posted on Wednesday, 16 May 2001

Author's Notes: My inspiration for such a story? You write what you know. I know about high school and I know about sports. And yes, I even know about getting dishwater in my eggs. It doesn't taste good.

Prologue

October 20th, 2000, Mt. SAC Invite

"I'm telling you, Jane. I don't feel good at all."

"What did you have for breakfast?" Jane wasn't really listening. After all, she only had five hours till race time and she had to go to the bathroom bad.

"Dishwater."

"Excuse me?"

"Okay, at first, I was skeptical, but when I took a few bites..."

"What are you talking about, Haze?" Jane rolled her eyes. Sometimes, she couldn't understand that girl. Actually, most of the time, she didn't understand a word that came from her mouth. Just smile and nod. Smile and nod. That was the key.

"I got dishwater soap in my eggs this morning. At first, I thought it was silly but they were an odd color and when I tasted it..."

"Why didn't you stick to bagels?"

"I wanted eggs." Hazel blinked as though that was the obvious answer.

"Watch out!"

Hazel and Jane backed up along the railing in time to see a teenage Adonis in dark shades run by. He was pulling off his Letterman's jacket, revealing tone arm muscles. Hazel tilted her head to read the name 'Darcy' written in script along the back. She elbowed Jane in the side. "Now, that's what cross country is all about!"

"You can say that again," replied a breathless Jane. Never mind she already had a boyfriend.

Chapter 1 - Help Save the Youth of America from Exploding

February 5th, 2001, Netherfield High

And just outside I can hear the
Sounds of the early morning
Street becoming way too loud and
The hum of the engines of the
Cars on the street.*

"What's that ruckus?" muttered Lydia as she snapped her gum.

"I don't know. I think it's that guy in front of us." Elizabeth made a face. She hated punk. She didn't like Backstreet Boys either, but that was courtesy of Lydia. There was nothing she could do about that.

She turned into the parking lot and was obligated to take the spot next to the guy with the loud music. She had never seen him before, but she didn't like him already. He had one of those vintage cars. It looked like a '65 Mustang. What she would give for a car like that!

"Hey, do you think you could shut that up?" Lydia yelled, mimicking her mother's voice.

He turned it off, but then the tunes of "I Want It That Way" penetrated the air instead. He rolled down his window and yelled in return, "How about you shut that bubble gum pop up yourself?"

Elizabeth frowned. No one talked to her sister that way. Even though Lydia was the one who initiated the whole thing... But then again, that guy had been ready to blow everyone's ear out with that trash.

"Who do you think you are? I mean, what kind of crap were you listening to anyway?" Elizabeth got out of her '95 Corolla and walked over to face this stranger. She found that he was pretty cute from up close. As a matter of fact, if Lydia hadn't been in her way, she would've realized that this guy was hot stuff. Darn Lydia!

"Nick Carter's personal agent," he replied, walking away.

Elizabeth was startled. She had been moded by a guy she didn't even know. And he had a great butt, too.

"I wonder who he was." Lydia said, snapping her gum again. "He was pretty cute."

"Yeah," muttered Elizabeth as she shot her sister a dirty look.

* Help Save the Youth of America from Exploding ~ Less than Jake

Chapter 2 - Everyone Trips Over the Beautiful People

Posted on Thursday, 24 May 2001

"It's amazing how many people trip over beauty when they see it." ~ Charlotte Rampling

Elizabeth crept to her seat as quietly as her Docs would allow. Unfortunately for her, they weren't very quiet boots.

"Class starts at eight, Miss Bennet. Not five minutes after eight."

She cringed. Another tardy to clear. "Sorry, Mrs. Bryant."

"I'm sure you are. Maybe you should get some sneakers, so you can sneak in."

Elizabeth cringed again. Why, oh why, did teachers insist on making bad jokes?

"Liz, you should really show up on time. You're going to have a lot of hours to clear before prom." Richard leaned across the table and smiled at her.

Richard Fitzwilliam: Mr. Popular. Reputation has remained intact despite bright Hawaiian shirts. Tremendous ego well hidden by charms. Type of guy who likes Jennifer Love Hewitt but insists that admiration stems from supposed acting abilities. Wandering eye which he claims is merely lazy. Wandering hand which he claims is merely restless. Has cried during both 'The Little Mermaid' and 'Lion King.'

"Who says I'm going to go to prom?" She lifted an impertinent eyebrow and matched his leering grin.

"It's the first day of the semester. Could you please not mention that word?" Hazel turned around to give them a dirty look. No one should mention prom before April. There were rules, rules to be followed about that sort of stuff. Even people who were in actual relationships (ha, actual relationships in high school!) knew about these rules.

Hazel Lee: Compares herself to lasagna ("There's so many layers. And it seems really complicated until you get inside of it."). Finds nothing wrong with showing up in pajamas once in awhile. Curlers, however, would be a serious violation of upperclassmen code. Loves skaters and punks; therefore, any guy in Dickies who head bangs. Can't pronounce 'idea' or 'longitude.' Distorted mind may consist of ricotta. Must change laces on Converses monthly.

"C'mon, just ask James and get it over with!"

"Elizabeth Milla Bennet! I can't believe you just said that!" She tilted her head toward Richard. Did she have to write up a set of rules for Liz?

"Which James?" Richard scooted his chair closer to the two. "Is it James DeLuca?

"James DeLuca? You mean, the guy who hangs out with Billy Collins?" Hazel was appalled. Of course not James DeLuca!

"Children...I don't mean to interrupt..." Mrs. Bryant was going into her disciplinary voice. Slow and boring.

"Excuse me?"

All eyes turned toward the voice at the door.

"It's him!" Hazel exclaimed, breaking the silence. She quickly covered her mouth and ducked, as best as she could, behind Richard.

"May I help you?" Mrs. Bryant didn't look very helpful. In fact, she just stood behind her desk and stared at him.

"Um, my name is Will Darcy. I just transferred to Netherfield High." He walked up and not a few female heads tilted to get a good look at him.

Mrs. Bryant, much to the amusement of her students, straightened her graying hair before taking a look at Will's schedule. "Right, right. Okay, sit next to Ms. Lee there."

Hazel immediately turned to look at Richard and Elizabeth. She grinned and clucked her tongue. "Maybe I don't want James after all."

Elizabeth made no reply. This was that Punk guy from this morning. 'I bet he's an idiot. He'll drop out of Physics in no time,' she thought, making circles on her desk with her finger.

"Hey." His knuckles hit the surface of the table in quick succession. What, was he a musician, or something? "Nice to see you, Pop Princess."

Elizabeth scowled at his smiling face. He had a great smile. It pulled at the corners of his lips and reached his dark eyes. She couldn't help but notice he had these long gorgeous lashes, so dense it brushed his cheeks. She scowled again. 'I wish I had lashes like that.'

"Pop Princess?" Richard was grinning like a Cheshire cat but Elizabeth was in no humor for any of his wry comments.

"Shut up, Richard."

"Is she always so anal?" Will asked.

"Worse. Hazel Renee Lee. Friends call me Haze." She stuck out her hand.

"William Andrew Darcy. Some people call me hot."

"I'll be one of them," Hazel laughed at his out-right arrogance.

"Hey, we better start paying attention. We don't want our grades going down the toilet on the first day." Elizabeth interrupted.

Hazel rolled her eyes. She was going to get an A, no question. Just like Richard was going to get a C. Another golden rule.

"We're going learn about rotational motion today. Does anyone know what that is?" Mrs. Bryant asked without so much as looking up.

Hazel leaned over. "So, where are you from?"

"Michigan."

"Anywhere near Rockford?"

Will smiled. "I went to Rockford."

"Did you know Dathan Ritzenhein?" Hazel joked. Dathan was a two-time National Champion and she had bet good money against Richard that he would be one of the top three milers in the nation. Richard had been saying he was too much of a long distance runner, and they were waiting for the outcome.

"I ran with him."

Behind, Richard was leaning in close to listen.

Hazel felt a rush of adrenaline. She looked at Mrs. Bryant. She was drawing oblongs meant to be circles. "Did you run cross country?"

He nodded. "I came down to the Mt. SAC Invite last fall."

"I saw you!"

Will lifted his eyebrows. He didn't remember her, but then he had been upset when his father revealed the reason for attending the meet. They were moving. In the middle of his junior year, he was going to some obscure town in the suburbs of Los Angeles. What if he didn't have anyone to train with? What if there was no challenge?

"...the radian is a pure number. It has no dimensions."

"What's that suppose to mean?" Elizabeth muttered, frantically taking notes and trying to listen to the conversation between Will and Hazel.

"She means it doesn't have any units," Will replied nonchalantly.

"Are you going to do distance track?" Hazel silently prayed under her breath for a positive answer. She wouldn't mind seeing him sweat in California heat.

Will nodded. "And maybe some other events."

"What's your best mile?" asked Richard, practically on the table.

"Mr. Fitzwilliam, what do you think you're doing?"

"Um, I was asking Will here...um..."

"I was trying to differentiate for...what's your name?" Will swiveled around to face him.

"Richard."

"Yes, I was explaining to Richard the relationship between angular and linear qualities. He seems to comprehend the meaning of angular acceleration as the difference between the angular speed within the time interval in which the change occurs but he was a bit confused about how that ties into the tangential." Will spoke rapidly, leaning back and using his hands in a sophisticated manner. It was almost like a preppy boy surfacing. "I think he needs a visual to aid him in the understanding of why angular acceleration would be required for the consideration of the tangential and yet, in the centripetal, the speed...is...um, used."

Mrs. Bryant nodded with wide eyes before turning back to the board.

"Wow," whistled Hazel, who really didn't know how to whistle so it sounded like blowing wind...which it was.

"She only took that because you're pretty." Richard grinned.

"Why, thank you, Richie. I hope it doesn't mean you're hitting on me though. I don't swing that way."

Chapter 3 - Your Hands Are Coming Through the Needles

Posted on Wednesday, 30 May 2001

"Hey Ed!"

"Oh, Elinor!" Ed dropped his books on her feet. "Oh...so terribly sorry."

"It's okay!" she laughed as he tried to pick up his books and brush her feet while his glasses slipped down his nose.

"I didn't mean to..."

"Here, let me help you." Elinor picked up his books for him while Ed stood shyly by, shifting his feet.

"What did you think about that new kid?"

"Oh, Will Darcy?"

"Yeah, hot as heck." Elinor watched as Ed's cheeks burned. "Sorry, you don't want to hear girls say stuff like that. Richard tells me he's going to be joining track."

"That's good."

"Well, I'll see you."

"Uh huh." Ed watched Elinor leave. She was so pretty and popular. Why would she ever want to talk to him?

Edward Ferrars: Completely ignorant of his status as the cutest geek of Netherfield High. Fumbles about like...what a surprise, Hugh Grant. Wild about Elinor, whom he believes is the most popular girl in school. Or, at least, deserves to be most popular girl in school. Wears bumblebee socks once a month. Hurdles without any sense of form, like a gazelle on steroids.

Elinor Dashwood: Not the most popular girl in school, but well known among peers. Is in fact pretty. Secretly wants to be Prom Queen alongside John Willoughby. On a more conscious level, wants to be on Prom Court and go with Edward Ferrars. Considers him a cute commodity and works well on her arm, like a handbag. Was a cheerleader but couldn't make Varsity her senior year.

"Hey, Ed."

"Oh...hi, Marianne." Ed slid into the seat next to her before drifting off into a daydream about Elinor.

"Thinking about my sister?"

"Hmm..."

"I'll take that as a yes."

Marianne Dashwood: Pretty in that librarian sort of way. Probably because dressed like librarian. Very smart and knows it. Carries a laptop and a laser. Flosses six times a day. Only likes sophisticated men. Has used laser against John Willoughby and has consequently, scared off any further advances by all guys, except Chris Brandon. Likes him very much but will never admit it because of his 'coarseness' (aka football player).

"Marianne, do you think...?"

"No."

"I haven't even asked the question yet."

"Whatever it is, Ed, the answer is no."

"Fine." Ed really couldn't stand her. He only tried to gain Elinor's favor by being the one person at school who could tolerate her sister as a human being, but he was doubting whether such a sacrifice was worth it. For one thing, she was a sophomore and he was a senior in the same math class. She also threatened him with a laser.

"Hey, aren't you in my Physics class?"

Ed looked up. It was Will. Hot stuff Will. He was walking toward Ed with that lazy sort of stride that said, 'Yeah, I'm cool.'

"Oh, yeah. Will Darcy, right?" Ed frowned. Guys that looked like that were always trouble. They always had the girls and he wasn't particularly keen on Will having Elinor.

"Yep," he replied, sitting behind Ed. "What's your name? I didn't catch it."

"Edward Ferrars."

"Nice to meet you."

"Yeah..." Ed muttered under his breath.

James Wallace came in and sat down next to Will. He was the kind of guy who introduced himself to everyone. James was a handsome guy... Why was there an abundance of good-looking guys at this school? There weren't any strange deformities or anything! Ed was considering a transfer.

Will started drumming on his desk, and mild-mannered Ed gripped the edge of his own slab of fake wood, hoping to save himself from the consequences of turning around and forcing him to shut up. How embarrassing to be pulled out of class! Ed was never pulled from class and he wasn't about to start now.

"Hey, I know that tune!" James started drumming along.

"What do you think you're doing?" Marianne turned around and gave the pair an evil eye sort of look. Unlike Ed, she didn't mind taking the initiative.

"Don't you recognize it?" Will said, continuing to drum in quick precision.

Marianne looked at him over her tortoise shell glasses. Another idiot... "No, it doesn't seem like I do recognize it."

"You walk this world like you're a ghost. Your hands are coming through the needles." Will sung, keeping beat with the song. "Sick of your tragic and the evils... I am the keeper of the songs of everyone."

Marianne turned around and opened her laptop.

"Man, I was dissed."

"Don't worry. She's always like that."

"It seems like there's a lot of girls like that at this school," Will mumbled, before continuing to sing in his throat. "Look into the sun and see your soul is dying. Used to feel the flame but now you're tired of trying. Should've left alone what you stolen from everyone. How are you feeling?*"

* Prophecy ~ Remy Zero

Chapter 4 - Well...what do you think?

Posted on Monday, 4 June 2001

"Oh, you mean him?" Jane took a quick look around campus, hoping that she would recognize his great backside...er, particularly tall form.

Jane Bennet: Beautiful and most popular girl at school. Figures, huh? Has long standing relationship with Chaz Bingley, much to the cringe of every other guy she comes across. Dazzling, Colgate smile. Known for serenity (which also happens to be another name for sea cow, but only Hazel has made note of such a connection). Loves to turn up Terry Clark's "No Fear" or Limp Bizkit's "My Way" and dance with reckless abandon. (Of course, no one is around. Has only been caught by Richard Fitzwilliam and has duly threatened him with a pen knife.)

"Don't worry. He's coming out to track."

Jane nodded, sharing a secretive glance with Hazel. Elizabeth caught it nevertheless and frowned. "Is he the guy you two always talk about?"

"The one we saw at the Mt. SAC Invite?"

"Yeah."

"That would be him," Jane replied quietly. Her boyfriend was approaching.

Elizabeth frowned again. How could her cousin be obsessed with Will Darcy? She had a great boyfriend. (Okay, resembles golden retriever but treats her very well.) Punk Guy wasn't that hot. No, no...those deep-set eyes and structured jaw, crooked grin and dark liberty spikes, casual manner of dressing and laid back attitude...

"Liz?"

Elizabeth shook her head, trying to clear all images of that arrogant snoot. "Yeah?"

"Are you okay?"

"Fine, Jane. Just fine."

"Hey, did you guys hear about that-" Chaz began.

"Will Darcy. Yeah, yeah, yeah," muttered Elizabeth. "I'm leaving."

"What's with her?"

Charles Bingley: Defined as a ruffled cutie. Messy dark blond curls. Goofy smile, but really irresistible. Follows Jane around like puppy dog. Joined cross-country and track for the sole purpose of following her around like a puppy dog. Turns out to like it, and has only gone against Jane in refusing to wear bright purple running shorts. Jane insists they accent his muscular thighs but much too high for even his compliance. Pouts like puppy dog.

Jane shook her head. She didn't know what was wrong with her cousin, but she figured that Will didn't make a good impression on Liz.

Chapter 5 - For the Love of the Sport

"I don't know why you kids are out here. You all have your own reasons. Maybe you want to lose weight. Maybe you want to get out of P.E. Maybe you have a crush on the captain of the distance team-"

Mr. Bennet was interrupted by several swoons. He rolled his eyes at Richard. If only he could attract real runners, not the frosh-soph cheerleading squad. Which included his own flesh and blood: Lydia.

"If we could all quiet down..." he muttered, looking directly at his daughter who only rolled her eyes in the same manner he did. "For those of you who are in it for the long haul, there's only one reason why you're here. There's only one reason why you come down rain or shine. Why you train no matter what. Why you never make an excuse for yourself or anyone else. It's the same reason I'm out here everyday to help you do your best. It's not all about winning. You're here for the love of the sport."

There were some sporadic cheers from the hard-core crowd. Mostly distance runners. But of course, Bennet was their coach.

Coach Bennet: Uses tweezers to pluck out gray/white hairs. Doesn't realize that 300 sit-ups each day doesn't do anything for the Ding-Dongs he eats during class (also Bio teacher who basically sits back and dishes the homework). Always a good idea to pull up pants... Disappointed that both daughters, Elizabeth and Lydia, are not distance runners. Ecstatic that Jane is an elite middle distance runner. Disappointed that Jane is not his daughter. Tends to forgo correcting people who mistaken her as his daughter.

"Well, anyway, welcome to Track 2001. It's my hope that we'll be League Champions this year. No, correction. It's my absolute belief that we'll come out on top. In the history of our league, only Rosings and Netherfield have had the honor of holding that title. And for the past three years, it has been us. Let's make this year our best year. Everyone run hard!" He clapped his hands together before nodding toward Elizabeth, rather reluctantly. "And yeah, those in field, do whatever it is you do."

"Isn't he just the best?" Elizabeth smiled.

"Hey, don't let it get you down."

"Who says I'm down, Richard?"

She was shooting daggers at him. Richard just shrugged. He didn't know what to say. Liz pretended not to care but he knew she did.

"Do you guys know anything about this new kid, Will Darcy?" Mr. Bennet came up to the pair with his customary clipboard and baseball cap.

"He's supposedly fast. Trained with Dathan."

"Serious?"

"He's probably lying," muttered Elizabeth, crossing her arms. Another dumb jock that her father could indulge in.

"You want to put money where your mouth is, Pop Princess?"

"Sh*t." Elizabeth screwed her face up in anger. Not only did she cuss unnecessarily but she did it in front of her father and Punk Guy. She immediately went down to do ten push-ups before she was scolded for foul language.

"I would assume you could prove yourself capable of those times," Mr. Bennet was saying.

"I'm not here to prove anything. I'm here to run."

'Yeah, whatever.' Elizabeth thought to herself. Suck-up! She started to walk away. It was her job to help the new jumpers get the hang of things. It was also her job to make sure the underclassmen were shoveling the pit. It was pretty darn good to be a junior.

"Hey."

"What is it now?" Elizabeth turned to face Will. She noticed the stark difference in his looks. His hair was no longer spiked with gel but ruffled by the wind. Instead of navy Dickies with a belt hanging over the side and a red Ataris shirt, he had on long running shorts with a white shirt.

Will pulled off his sunglasses. "I know we didn't get off on the right foot..."

"We didn't get off on any foot."

"Alright..." He bit his lip. He never knew what to say to girls without sounding, well...too much like himself. "I just wanted to apologize."

"For what?" For being a beautiful jerk, that's what.

"Look, never mind." He put on his sunglasses and walked off, leaving Elizabeth in the middle of the field, not knowing whether to kick herself or kick him.

Chapter 6 - No Escape from Reality

Posted on Friday, 15 June 2001

March 1st, 2001, Netherfield High

Is this the real life?
Is this just fantasy?
Caught in a landslide
No escape from reality
Open your eyes
Look up to the skies and see
I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy*

Will pulled into the junior parking lot, his '65 Mustang receiving approving nods from the guys and himself receiving the customary glances from the girls. Same old story...

He turned off his radio as Liz passed by. She only looked at the car.

"Just wait! That Corolla will be a classic when you're 50!"

"And that thing will be a piece of junk when you're 50!" she retorted, sticking her tongue out at him.

Will only smirked at her capable comeback. At least he could count on Elizabeth Bennet for not falling on her knees for him. She probably thought he was some ugly jerk. (Nah, just a jerk.)

"Hey, Willy!"

"Oh, hi Lydia." He cut his ignition and quickly jumped out.

"So, where are you going?"

"Class."

She giggled in that bubbly sort of way. Elizabeth rolled her eyes the same time Will did.

"Are you running today?"

"I intend to..."

"You look great when you're running," Lydia smiled, moving closer to him.

"I tend to look like crap."

"I agree!" Elizabeth immediately put in.

Will moved away from Lydia. As he passed Liz, he leaned in. "And you defend her because..."

"She's my sister!"

"She's a cheerleader."

"Well...so was Elinor Dashwood!" Elizabeth muttered, lost for words. It had almost been a month since Will Darcy stormed into Netherfield High and turned just about every girl's head in a 360 spin, but still he alluded the cheerleading squad and the drama department. Maybe he was gay!

Ugh, awful thought. Even Elizabeth couldn't believe it despite her attempts to find flaws beyond his exterior.

"Hey, Elizabeth, have you seen-"

"No, I haven't seen Elinor, Ed," she replied as she pushed all thoughts of Will to the back of her mind.

"How did you-"

"Because everyone knows, Ed."

"They do?" he looked at her with wide eyes.

Liz, feeling sympathetic for the density of his mind (why do all girls have to hit their respective crushes over the head with a lead pipe?), pulled Ed's arm. "C'mon, let's go to Physics. She'll be there."

"Okay," he nodded, comforted by the hope he would see her soon.

"Elinor!" Ed ran toward her the second he walked through the door. Unfortunately, he didn't see her backpack. Before he knew it, he had careened across the tile floor and into the wall.

"Ow..."

"Ed? Are you okay?" Elinor bit her lip. This was so embarrassing.

"I'm just..." He stood up, trying to kick the backpack away only to trip on it again. He hit the floor with a resounding thump. "Fine, just fine."

Will walked over and untangled the straps from his foot. "You can get up now, Ed."

"You know...I think I rather stay down here."

"Yeah, maybe, Ed," replied Elinor, already moving her seat over to keep him away from plain sight.

"Is he okay?" Hazel leaned over, falling from her own chair just in time for Will to catch her.

"Fine he says with his face plastered on the floor."

Hazel nodded before she sat down, firmly, and pulled out an Oatmeal container.

"What coordination! You just sat down and pulled that from your backpack at the same time," Will smirked.

"Thank you." She held the container under his nose. "Do you know what this is?"

"It holds oatmeal."

Hazel gave him that you're-being-an-idiot look. "It's going to be our camera."

"Looks promising," Will replied.

"Hey, I thought we were doing the camera project together," Elizabeth demanded. No, no, no! Hazel was her partner. Hazel had always been her partner. That meant she would have to work with Richard and he wasn't exactly cream of the crop.

"I'm sorry, Liz. I thought you were working with Rich."

Elizabeth walked across the room. "Elinor, do you have a partner yet?"

"Yup, I'm working with Ed."

Of course. Ed. This was so horrible. How did she not have a partner? Who else? Robert? No. Helen? Worse than Richard. John. Working with Annabel. Josh. Working with...who was that? There was a Peter in this class? "George, do you have-"

"I would love to work with you, Lizzy," he replied to her chest rather than her face.

Elizabeth nodded, feeling a little queasy about her choice. So, Richard was a lazy bum with a 72% but George Wickham... well, he did have a B and maybe, together they could get a good enough grade to boast them both up to A territory.

* Bohemian Rhapsody ~ Queen

Chapter 7 - I Just Want to Be a Cowboy, Baby!

Posted on Saturday, 7 July 2001

"Nice hat, Chris!" John Willoughby cracked, patting his friend on the back.

John Willoughby: Considers himself a professional player. Key word: considers. Frightened of Marianne Dashwood after laser incident but thinks she's hot anyway. Really enjoys beef jerky and lime Jell-O. Position on football team: second towel boy. Can belch the alphabet backwards. Secretly baby talks with dog, Little Princess. ("Who's my Princess? Who's my Little Princess? Yes, you are.")

Chris Brandon adjusted the rim of his cowboy hat. "Do you think so? Lisa thinks it looks stupid."

"Are you going to let Lisa tell you what to do?"

"She's not telling me to do anything. She just says it looks stupid."

"And now you're considering never wearing it again."

"Well, I wouldn't say never," Chris muttered, taking the hat off.

"Put it on," John cried, doing it for him. "You have to be a man about this. Wear your hat. Don't listen to what women say!"

Chris blinked. If he didn't do that, how was he supposed to get a girlfriend? Rule number one: anything a girl says goes.

Chris Brandon: In one word: Tex-Mex. Wore red leather boots with steel toes first quarter. Second quarter, tight jeans. Started new semester with giant belt buckle. The only Eagle Scout on the football team. Tries to impress ladies but has gotten most of his pointers from John (yes, that's a very bad thing!). Likes Marianne but has failed to win her over (spilled chili down the front of her shirt). Settled upon entertaining Lisa who he considers "a very nice girl, I'm sure."

"She has you eating out of the palm of her hand!"

"I don't eat from her hand," replied a very confused Chris.

"Never mind," John cried, throwing his hands up. "You don't even like her! What's the point of stringing her along?"

"I'm not stringing her anywhere. She's not my girlfriend."

"But she wants to be and she has hopes, man. Hopes. Do you know how awful it is when a girl starts hoping?"

Chris thought for a second, but only a second. He had to warm up a bit when he thought, being a football player and all, but that went out the window when Lydia walked into the senior quad. To the girls, it was a serious violation of policy. To the boys, well...they were happy to see her, especially in a plunging red halter which happened to show off some of her midriff as well.

"Hey Chris!" She waved to him, batting her fake eyelashes.

Now Lydia could be a distraction, but even Chris knew better than to get tangled with the likes of her. Why were the freshmen bolder than the seniors anyway? It wasn't logical but Chris did get a C in Algebra, so maybe it was.

John, on the other hand, didn't take math. And he didn't mind a bit of trouble, especially when it was decked out in a miniskirt. "Liddy, baby!"

Chapter 8 - The Whole Cake

"A cupcake? No, no, no, this guy is the whole cake, with chocolate frosting and icing!" ~ Silly Friend of Mine

"Billy Collins? Now, he's a crumb."

Fanny Price, the ultimate nice girl, wrinkled her nose. She didn't think Billy was so bad. "He's crust at least..."

"What? Crust?" Elizabeth jumped up, her arms flailing. "Look at him! That is not even crust!"

All the girls turned toward Billy, who lacked the decency to walk about the track with his shirt on. Granted, many of the guys were shirtless on this humid day, but most of the guys had less reason to hide their bodies behind sweaty T-shirts anyway.

"That's something less than a crumb," muttered Marianne, who came down to take pictures for the yearbook. Though many people thought this was odd since she wasn't on staff. Like she would ever admit that she only wanted to scrutinize Chris Brandon and Will Darcy with their shirts off! Anyway, the pictures could come in handy.

"What do you think of Charles?" Jane asked earnestly. "He's definitely chocolate."

Jane's sister, Kitty, protested. Charles was too cute to be simply chocolate. If only her boyfriend (if she had one) could be as cute as Chaz. "You don't think he's cupcake?"

Kitty Bennet: Has always wanted to be like Jane, mainly because of Charles Bingley. Very neat and organized. Makes her bed every morning without fail. Has some portraits in underwear drawer of Jane's head cut out (stacked in chronological order, of course). Sings Britney Spears in front of the mirror with comb. Portraits of Charles hidden behind posters of N'Sync. Lines her Barbies in alphabetical order across window sill (very difficult task as all dolls are named Barbie).

"Not quite. We've already established that, haven't we, Haze?"

Jane awaited her reply but none was forthcoming. "Haze?"

"Hmmm?" Hazel turned toward Jane with absent eyes. She had been busy with Will and James Wallace. She couldn't decide which would be a better investment of her time.

"Oh, never mind."

"I think Ed would be chocolate as well," Elinor said.

A crash interrupted the conversation in mid-field. Everyone turned around to see Ed trying to untangle himself from a hurdle. "I'm fine. Really, I-" The observers cringed as he tripped over the hurdle again.

"You were saying, Elinor?"

"Well, I didn't say he was Godiva chocolate. More like Hershey's..."

One of the non-descriptive freshmen piped up. "I don't get it..."

Even Lydia had to roll her eyes at that one. "There's sure a lot of cupcakes out there!" To no one in particular, she squealed, "But then there's also cake!"

"Cake?" Hannah, a sophomore high jumper, piped up.

"Yeah, cake!" replied Lydia, pointing to where Will was finally pulling off his shirt. It was a long anticipated event on the track. He was always the last of the distant runners to do so and many of girls sat around after practice to casually observe (or stare).

The usual crowd included Lydia and her cheerleading friends, Hannah, Sophie, Claire, Kayla, Leslie, and Jessica. Some brave sophomores would show up, giggling and pointing at the many six-packs that cluttered the track. Even a few upperclassmen sneaked in, pretending to chat with various coaches or runners. Occasionally, Marianne would take pictures. Elinor was there for Ed-of course! And Lisa would twirl her hair as she watched Chris take on the hurdles.

As for Liz, she always stuck around to work on her form or help her father time. Anyway, Hazel and Jane were always the last people to leave the track. When everyone was gone, the distant runners were sure to be there. Elizabeth, having few opportunities to spend time with them, would catch up on everything when they all went to Starbucks for some much-needed caffeine.

"C'mon, Haze, break's over," Jane said as she got up.

"He really is cake," mumbled Hazel.

"What ever happened to James?" asked Lizzy sharply. She couldn't understand why everyone had to love Will. It was just so...trendy.

"Can you deny it, Liz? He's cake with chocolate frosting and icing...he's got Godiva shavings and dripped with caramel..."

"Jane, you have a boyfriend, remember?" Elizabeth hissed quietly.

"Double layered," she continued, more to cause her cousin angst than anything else. "With thick frosting and strawberries in-between."

"Sounds good, don't you think so, Chaz?" Will's voice startled the girls.

"Yeah...I hope she's talking about me, though," replied a befuddled Charles. She was talking about him, wasn't she? But he couldn't possibly be all that either, could he?

Before any other comments could be made, Coach Bennet sent the boys into their eighth 400 sprint. Richard immediately took the lead, but it was always Will who pulled ahead in the last stretch.

"You don't know who's going to win the race this Saturday. Not yet." Hazel said as the boys swept by them as they finished.

"I want some cake," moaned Elizabeth.

"What sort of cake are you talking about?"

Chapter 9 - Everything to Everyone

Posted on Sunday, 15 July 2001

You put yourself in stupid places
Yes, I think you know it's true
Situations where it's easy to look down on you

Liz turned up the radio before she reset her hand on the gear. Her left hand was on the wheel.

I think you like to be the victim
I think you like to be in pain
I think you make yourself the victim
Almost every single day

George casually placed his hand on the gear as well. Liz slapped it.

"Ouch! What did you do that for?"

"What did you do that for?" muttered Liz. She couldn't believe George couldn't drive! He was a senior! How did he go on dates with freshmen girls?

"You're beautiful when you're angry."

"Shut up." Liz rolled her eyes. She had to put up with George for the past half-hour. It was Friday night and she wanted to hang out with her friends. But no...George insisted upon working on the Physics project tonight. And he needed to be picked up from the mall! So right after practice, Liz had to pick him up. She was outside Sears for forty minutes. Just when she was about to leave, he came out with a false smile and apology. After that, it was nothing but sleazy lines.

"Are you tired?"

"No." Should she ask? Against her better judgment, she did. "Why?"

"Because you've been running through my mind all day."

Liz turned up the radio again.

You do what you do
You say what you say
You try to be everything to everyone
You know all the right people
You know all the right games
You always try to be
Everything to everyone*

* Everything to Everyone ~ Everclear

Chapter 10 - Missing Link

March 3rd, 2001, Foothill Invite

"If I put him in the 4x8, would he have enough time to recover? But then...distance medley. I could put John...no, stronger runner. What about Chaz? Where the h#ll is that boy? Stupid seniors!" Mr. Bennet was in a frenzy. And he had reason to be.

Sure, there were bigger things than the Foothill Invite but this one kicked off the season. This one determined a lot of boasting between rival teams Netherfield High and Rosings Prep. They would not meet for another three weeks after this Saturday, but their marks always proved they were head-to-head. Netherfield had brought home the Championship last year, but it only made Rosings' coach, Catherine DeBourgh, more determined to have it.

Elizabeth walked pass her father. She knew it was best not to talk to him at this time. She didn't want to talk to him anyway. It wasn't like he would notice the redness in her eyes.

"Okay, they're starting with girls 4x8. Hazel, Krista, Jackie, Jane. A-team. Grace, Mel, Zoe, and...Elizabeth, you're going to run the 800 on the B-team. Go warm-up. You're running in that order. Make sure you check in at the clerk of the course." Mr. Bennet called up to the stands.

The girls made their way down to the warming area. Elizabeth, who didn't want to talk to anyone, muttered as she went towards the left, "I need to go to the triple jump pit first."

Jane noticed a lack of enthusiasm in her tone but shrugged it off. She must be tired.

Elizabeth never quite returned. The girls looked for her everywhere. She was not in the bathroom. She was not scooping out the guys from Don Lugo. She didn't even sign up at the pit. (No one even thought of the fact that Coach only brought his distant runners and an occasioned few to this invite and Netherfield wasn't competing in any field events or sprints.) They went back to the bleachers.

"What do you mean you don't know where she is?" Mr. Bennet fumed. Ten minutes till race time! Even though it was the B-team, he couldn't stand the thought of any of his runners not performing their best. "Alright, Grace will anchor. Mel will start...Kitty! You're running second."

"I-I'm running what?" stuttered Kitty.

But Mr. Bennet wasn't paying attention anymore. The girls grabbed Kitty and went to the clerk of the course.

"Don't worry, Kitty," Jane said quickly with her arm around her sister's shoulder. "It's just two laps. Just remember don't go out too fast, but clear out quick enough so that you don't get caught up in the crowd. Of course, you probably won't have a problem. Keep a steady pace throughout. It's best to speed up along the straightaways and lean into the curves. If you hear anyone behind you, speed up. But don't burn yourself out. You'll need that second wind for the last stretch. Did you get that? See, absolutely no problem." She turned away from Kitty for a second. "Jane Bennet, Hazel Lee, Krista Barrios, and Jackie Leeves, Netherfield."

"Lane 1."

"And most of all, do NOT drop the baton." She held Kitty by her shaking shoulders and glared into her eyes.

Kitty whimpered. "But I'm a jumper."

"You're also a Bennet. Tough toenails."

Tough toenails indeed!

Despite a missing Bennet, everything went fairly well with the race. As a matter of fact, everything went fairly well with the entire invite. Netherfield had proved to be a top contender, beating Rosings Prep by 23 points on the girls' side and 18 on the boys'. Catherine DeBourgh was furious and attacked an official. Mr. Bennet was leaping with joy, almost causing himself a hernia.

Kitty ran a very capable 2:44 and collapsed on the infield as soon as the baton was safely in Zoe's hand. The A-team proved to everyone why they were the best. Hazel's early lead was certainly helpful, and her 2:32 was very satisfactory for the beginning of the season. Krista and Jackie both pulled in a 2:38, and Jane rounded it off nicely with a final push, outrunning Arcadia, with a 2:28.63.

While the girls were concerned over Elizabeth's whereabouts, they were also caught up in the guys' races. Hazel threw caution to the wind and placed her bet on Will. Jane and Kitty went on the safer route and chose the favorite, Richard Fitzwilliam. It was a close one. Even though the girls timed it, they weren't perfectly sure until they asked Mr. Bennet. Will started off with a 2:02. Charles completed the second leg in 2:10 and passed the baton to James who ran a personal best of 2:08. Richard ran a 2:02. Later, it was a discovered that Will was a mere one-eighth of a second faster. But he was faster.

It was all undeterminable, however. In the distance medley, Will ran a 2:03 in the 800 and Richard completed a 4:36 mile. Nevertheless, Hazel was glad and so were the Bennet sisters. The bet involved running across the field and screaming, "I'm wearing a Digimon thong!"

At the end of the day, the runners had cooled down and the trophies were awarded. Still no Elizabeth.

"I'm getting really worried," Hazel cried, shifting her weight from one foot to the other.

"She's probably pissed at him." Richard nodded toward Coach.

"But she would've told someone where she went!"

Everyone nodded in agreement. Yet, nodding around in a circle did very little to solve the problem at hand. Will, luckily, was not one to nod around in a circle. He decided to get in some extra mileage by running along the outside of the stadium. Okay, maybe he was worried too and was making excuses to go look for her. But who knows? Anyway, he knew very well that looking inside the stadium was stupid since they've been looking for over six hours and still they didn't find her.

Will was sweeping along the parking lot and turned left. He tripped over her.

"Ow!" He was lying on his back now. Somehow he had twisted in the air. It was a running thing really. You had to protect the knees and it was almost automatic for runners to put their hands out or twist around to land on the backside.

"Sorry," Elizabeth sniffled.

Will quickly stopped his complaining when he saw she had been crying. "What's wrong?"

"Go away." She brought her knees to her chest and curled up into a ball.

"Is it your father?"

"No. As if that's any of your business."

Will sighed and got up, brushing off the dirt from his fall. "I know we're not exactly friends, but if you need my help..."

"I don't need help."

He tilted his head. It would never work with two stubborn people such as them. But as it was with stubborn people, he continued on, "You need someone's help."

"Are you telling me that I need a shrink?"

"A shrink? What does that have to do with anything?" Goodness, were girls confusing!

"Just leave me alone, alright?" Elizabeth was getting annoyed. Actually, she was annoyed the second he found her. Of all the people to find her, it had to be him! She tried to keep the tears from flowing for the billionth time that day but she couldn't stop herself. She hated it when she cried. And she hated it more when it was in front of other people.

Being the dashing hero he was and this big ball of mush inside, Will sat down beside her. He was unsure if he should give her a shoulder to cry on, but he didn't need to offer. She took it.

"You have bony shoulders." Her voice was muffled. He could tell that she was talking into his sleeve.

"Yeah. When I look in the mirror every morning, I always say, 'Gosh, Will, you have the worst shoulders in the world. Look how scrawny they are. They're nothing compared to your butt.'"

Elizabeth smiled but didn't reply. Finally, after a few moments of silence, she mumbled, "I hate you."

"I'm glad the feeling is mutual."

"They're all really worried about you," Will said as they walked back.

"Are my eyes red?"

Will took a look, though he already knew the answer. "No, they're rather brown."

Elizabeth glared at him.

He unhooked his sunglasses from the back of his head and handed them over to her. "That bad, huh?"

"Nah, I just don't like your eyes."

"Excuse me, but I think I have rather fine eyes."

"Is your vision 20/20?"

"Shut up."

"What was it?"

"Why would I tell you of all people?" Elizabeth cried while putting on Will's sunglasses. They kept slipping off her nose.

"Because sometimes, it's easier to tell acquaintances rather than friends."

"That's not logical," Elizabeth pouted.

"Sure it is," Will argued. "You aren't going to tell your friends, are you? Because if you were, they would've known by now. But you opted to sit beside the parking lot by yourself and cry. After six hours, you haven't even released all of your pain. You need to tell someone. Someone who you don't know that well is perfect for such things. You don't want to tell a friend because it will become their burden. But if you tell me, it won't become my burden. We barely know each other. But then, it wouldn't be your burden anymore, either."

Liz was listening to this with some interest and much confusion. She shook her head. "It has to do with George."

"Wicky?"

"You're not particular friends with him, are you?"

"I would say not."

Elizabeth smiled at that response. "I'm glad we have something in common."

"We have a lot in common," Will replied, his head down and his hands in his pockets.

He looked quite desolate in such a manner and it wrenched something in Elizabeth's chest. Heartburn? She hadn't eaten in awhile, though. "Do you want to hear this or not?"

"What does that matter? Do you want to tell me or not?"

Elizabeth did want to tell him, for some odd reason. "We were working on our Physics project. You know, the camera. Well, I was working on it. He kept dropping these cheesy pick-up lines. 'I've lost my teddy bear, will you sleep with me?' Do guys think that really works?"

"I don't know. I don't use pick-up lines."

Liz rolled her eyes behind Will's shades though she knew very well that this could be true. Why would Will Darcy need pick-up lines? Well, Richard used them quite often...but that was Richard of course. "Do you go for them?"

Will replied solemnly, "I think the best one I've hear is: 'If you were a booger, I would pick you first.'"

Elizabeth stifled a giggle. She was beginning to understand why Hazel was always telling her how funny Will was. She always thought he was just...well, a prick. "Anyway, I got fed up, so I decided to kick him out and told him to do his own work."

She paused. Will urged her to continue. "He got angry." She pulled down the shades and looked him straight in the eye. "He tried to take advantage of me."

"(Insert four letter word)-ing whore."

Elizabeth backed up, startled. She didn't know much about Will, but she did know he rarely cussed. As a matter of fact, she never heard him swear once. And the distant boys swore like sailors.

"Lizzy!" Hazel and Jane were running toward the pair.

"He didn't hurt you, did he?" Will whispered urgently.

"I think he was the injured party," Elizabeth smiled.

Will smiled back.

Oh man, is he cute! Elizabeth pushed up his sunglasses to hide herself from anyone's scrutiny and immediately greeted her friends as calmly as possible.

"Don't get lost again, Bennet," Will called as he left the girls.

She nodded. What would happen on Monday when she had to see George again?

Chapter 11 - The Rumor Mill

"Did you hear about Elizabeth Bennet?" smirked Billy Collins.

Billy Collins: Most undesirable senior possible. The complete toad. Sits in the back of the classroom and picks his nose. On occasion, wears a dirty sock on his left hand which he talks to. Carries rather disillusioned belief that he's a lady's man. Or rather The Ladies' Man. Hasn't master the arduous art of tying shoelaces. Hasn't master the arduous art of taking a shower on a daily basis, or a weekly basis for the matter.

Billy wasn't talking to anyone in particular. As a matter of fact, he wasn't really talking to anyone at all. No one was listening.

He looked around the library. The nearest person was Marianne Dashwood.

"Oh, Mary!" Billy oozed toward her.

Marianne looked at him and his sock with disgust. She walked briskly away, but Billy wasn't deterred.

"Did...gasp...you hear...gasp...about...oaf!"

Marianne had made a sharp turn, and Billy, not being the quickest of boys, had ran into the corner of the bookcase.

"Mr. Collins, do not address me in public. As a matter of fact, do not address me at all." Marianne made an about-face and hit bedrock, or rather William Darcy.

Her glasses fell off. Will and Marianne both reached down to get them and knocked heads...of course. It was rather inevitable that this event would occur if they both made the attempt, but they were high school students after all.

Will was the first to get up with his hand on his frontal lobe. Well, not directly on it. There was bone, fluid, skin, and all sorts of stuff that separated his hand from that particular portion of his brain, but the point has been clarified if any confusion had existed anyway. "Are you alright?"

It was so unsophisticated, using the slang: alright. But he just said it so well. Everything seemed so out of focus. His face hovered over her. Was this love?

"Oh, here are your glasses." He handed them to her.

Oh, so that was why everything was blurry. Marianne stood up and straightened her wool gray skirt. No, it couldn't be possible. He was a jock and she didn't like jocks.

"Thank you," she replied, trying to be brisk about it as she usually was. Nevertheless, she choked on her words and after a pause, left in a hurry.

"What was that about?" Will muttered as he rubbed his head. Marianne was never so clumsy, and her customary sour expression had been replaced by a look of utter confusion.

"Hey, that's one of my ladies you ran into. You better apologize to me."

Will looked down to see a rather slimy guy with long greasy hair parted down the middle and a dirty sock on his hand. He reeked so bad that Will had to pinch his nose.

"I don't know what you're talking about but I'm going."

"Hey, hey, I haven't finished talking to you."

"There's nothing you could possibly say to me," Will replied as he turned away.

"Just remember, Mary's my girl. You can have Elizabeth Bennet. You know what they say about her."

"Excuse me?"

"She's easy, you know."

Chapter 12 - Bubble Limit

Posted on Sunday, 22 July 2001

"That's ridiculous!" Hazel frowned. "Who would be spreading a rumor like that?"

"Well, Billy Collins is spreading it. I'm just wondering who started it."

Hazel was deep in thought. She didn't like hearing this slander about her friend, and she was deeply concerned. It barely registered in her mind that she was in Will Darcy's house, talking to James Wallace. It was almost perfect!

"Who..." She looked up to see James inches away from her. She immediately backed up. "Whoa! You were so in my bubble!"

Two seconds later, she mentally kicked herself. What was wrong with that? Of course she would want James in her bubble! Why did she back up? Stupid, stupid.

"Sorry, I know this isn't the right time, but..."

But...but what? C'mon, speak boy!

"Mr. Duvall, you know, the Psychology teacher, wants us to experiment with people. Find out how much personal space they need."

"Oh."

"It's really interesting, actually." James pulled out a sheet of paper from his cargo pants. He had a list of names. Will was the last one on it. "See, I tested Will just before you came. I walked up to him and I kept on walking. He started backing up when I was an arm's length away from him." James brought his finger up to the top of the list. "And Richard was one of the first ones. I got so close to him, I was uncomfortable."

James Wallace: Silly exterior but actually very serious and insecure. Has never revealed to anyone his childhood love of penguins. Has a collection stashed in his closet. Has never had trouble with fitting in but often times, shadowed by Richard Fitzwilliam in the girls' department. Likes to peel his banana backwards. Looks good all the time. Downside: cheesy smile. Oh, and needs to tie his swim trunks better.*

Will walked in, carrying Haze's Oatmeal container (aka camera) decorated as a dwarf with crossed eyes and uneven arms.

James jumped off the sofa and ran towards Will. Will instantly dropped the camera and backed away. "Hey, stay where you are! Bad dog! Bad!"

James did everything he could to get near Will. "Am I in your bubble, Will? Am I?"

Will started slapping him away, looking as though he were involved in a chicken fight. "Get out!"

Hazel laughed at the scene. She knew that Will was somewhat bothered, if not amused as well, by James but was reluctant to do anything other than run in the opposite direction.

Her laughter abated, however, when Will tried to jump over the couch and landed on her. James quickly followed.

"Hello! Petite-size girl here!"

Will rolled off, landing on the floor and knocking James off in the meantime.

Hazel, now being able to breathe, grabbed a pillow in vengeance. In a few moments, James and Will were in possession of pillows as well and no one was willing to give in.

*Based on crush who lost his shorts in the ocean

"How is this suppose to work?" muttered James as he picked up Will and Haze's physics project.

"Hey, aren't you going to help us pick up any feathers?" Hazel demanded, pulling one out of her hair.

James didn't respond. Will was already showing him how to work the pinhole camera. He pulled up the flap which served as the dwarf's nose. "See that there? It's a pinhole. When we expose it to the light, an image filters in. The light coming from the top slants down and the light from the ground slants up. We have black and white paper attached on the other side to capture the picture and it's all black inside, preventing any reflection which can distort the image."

Hazel, who already knew how the camera worked, impatiently plucked the goose feathers from the creamy blue carpet. She really wanted to go home. Not that she didn't feel uncommonly lucky to find herself in the company of two funny, good-looking guys who paid attention to her, but Harry had just discover the mystery of Tom Riddle in Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. What was going to happen next?

"Are you bored, Haze?"

Hazel looked up and smiled sheepishly, "Not really, but when we were having fun, I forgot all about..."

"Oh..." Will replied, knowing that Hazel had been reading Harry Potter under his recommendation. "Well, if you want to go, I'll drive you home. James, don't eat everything while I'm gone."

"Scout's honor." James replied, putting up two fingers. "Or is it three?"

"Four," Hazel corrected.

"And you wonder why I never let that guy into my bubble."

Hazel smiled, wondering why Liz never let Will into her bubble. She always spoke of him with such vehemence, especially since the Foothill Invite.

Chapter 13 - What a Web We Weave

William winced as he came to a stop after the last 400. His knee was bothering him again. And everything had been going so well! He had proved to Coach Bennet that he was champion material, competing with Richard to be the Number One runner.

Will had brought his 800 down to 1:58.4, two seconds faster than Richard's. And his mile was currently at 4:27, equal to that of his rival. Of course, there was a big gap between their two miles. Will had a 9:59 while Richard dominated with a 16-second lead. But then, they never ran against one another in the eight-lap race.

He hobbled over to the inside track, trying to look inconspicuous. Liz was there, but she turned away once he arrived. What's wrong with her lately? Is it the rumor?

He sat on the grass while Mr. Bennet went over the upcoming meets, placing emphasis on Rosing Prep, who they would compete against after Spring Break. He looked over at Chris Brandon on the other side of the track. Chris, who was suppose to be practicing his hurdles, kept glancing at Lisa and Lydia, trying to decide who he was obligated to listen to. The girls were both talking very loudly, trying to get his attention.

Lisa Dryner: Prissy. Spits a lot when she talks. Wears very short skirts. Has had her eye on Chris Brandon ever since he became football captain. Despises the color black. Twirls her hair constantly and only reads fashion magazines. Thinks of herself as the ultimate trendsetter and has the customary two sidekicks (with customary nose in the air) trotting behind her. Resembles a hissing cat, except nails are hot pink.

Lydia Bennet: Gives a bad name to cheerleaders everywhere. Gives a bad name to freshmen everywhere. Gives a bad name to teenybopper music lovers everywhere. Gives a bad name to girls everywhere. Doesn't believe in humility or bras. Lives by the motto that any attention is good attention. Does not own anything with sleeves. Doesn't own anything that covers her legs. Finds that other people's boyfriends are the best catch.

Lisa was getting really fed up with Lydia. She was just about ready to push her into the gate when Marianne walked down the steps toward the track, and Chris forget about the two of them.

Chris walked over to where Marianne was talking to her sister and Ed. Lisa and Lydia followed.

"...not like I expected anymore from you, Ed," Marianne was saying when the trio arrived.

"Oh hi, Chris," Elinor said pleasantly. "Who are your friends?"

"Friends?" Chris looked confused before he realized that Elinor meant Lisa and Lydia. He introduced them to her, Marianne, and Ed.

"I'm Chrissy's girlfriend," Lisa immediately offered. "We're going to the Sadie Hawkins dance this month-"

"We are?" muttered Chris.

"Are any of you guys going?" Lisa continued as though she was never interrupted. Her nails dug into Chris's arm and he flinched uncomfortably.

"I'm sure I'll be going with someone," Lydia piped up.

"And I'm sure Ed and El are going together," Marianne muttered, throwing up her hands. "What a great surprise!"

She walked away, walking straight into Will Darcy again. Marianne scowled. What's wrong with you girl? Why do you have to walk into him everyday?

"Where's your camera, Marianne?"

Marianne went pale. Her camera. She didn't have a camera. "Cam-camera?"

"Yeah, why else are you down here?"

"Well..."

"I thought you considered sports crude."

"No, no, not all..."

Will didn't understand why Marianne had been suffering from bouts of tongue-tie. He was actually starting to miss her sarcasm. Often times, he tried to provoke her but she would only stick her nose closer to her laptop screen every time he did so and type frantically.

"Um...do you have a date?" Marianne blurted out.

"Excuse me?" Will was thoroughly confuse. But then...he was a boy.

"I mean..." Marianne, what are you doing? But she couldn't stop herself. She had already gone this far. "Would you like to go to Sadies with me?"

"Oh...sure," Will shrugged, being dense and not realizing that Marianne was head-over-heels in like with him.

Chapter 14 - Mystery Girl

Posted on Monday, 30 July 2001

"I can't do it, Liz!" Hazel stormed into English and threw her pen. It bounced off Leslie's head. "Ooo...sorry about that. Can I get my pen back?"

Liz rolled her eyes. She was digging through a large stack of papers. "Can you believe he's actually returning some of our work? Hey, my summer assignment!"

Hazel took it from her. "Let's see...it's late March and we turned it in during the second week of September. Not bad," Hazel frowned in a mocking manner. "Only six months. Thoroughly impressed."

"Anyway, what were you talking about when you came in?"

"Tuna." That was James Wallace. His specialized code name. At least half of the boys worth mentioning in this story had been coded after a fish by the two juniors (though the universal rating system was sweets of course). Will was Tigerfish, though Elizabeth refused to use it and insisted upon Stonefish. Hazel still didn't understand. Richard was Jellyfish (they had used that one for years because Richard refused to believe they would call him that). Billy had been dubbed a Sand Crab. Ed, Flounder. John, Salmon. And so the list continued...

"Yeah...so?"

"I tried to ask him..."

"Oh, that stupid dance."

"I thought you wanted to go." Hazel looked up in surprise.

The bell rang and so ended their conversation. Well, that is until Mr. Griffith stood up behind his desk. Everyone looked down. Mr. Griffith's shorts were definitely too short for his bulky 6'3" frame.

Liz quickly scribbled a note and passed it to her friend.

Oh, so gross!

Hazel immediately wrote back.

Tell me about it!

Before she handed it to Liz, she included another message.

Who are you going to ask?

I told you I'm not going. I don't want to go.

But we had a deal! You were going to ask someone and I was going to ask someone.

You haven't asked anyone yet.

I'm working on it!

Face it. You don't have the guts to ask Tuna. Why don't you just go with Stonefish?

Tigerfish, Liz. Tigerfish. Anyway, can't. He's already got a date.

Liz wrinkled her nose when she read Haze's response. Of course he's already got a date.

Who?

It was a rather sloppy scribble, even for Liz. She turned toward Elizabeth and mouthed, 'What?'

Elizabeth mouthed her response but Hazel didn't get it. Liz leaned across but leaned too far. She hit the floor and quickly got up, pretending nothing happened. A few people were snickering.

In the meantime, Hazel had figured out what Elizabeth had written and did not notice her friend's fall.

I didn't ask. There are so many possibilities. I saw him turn down eight girls though.

That was embarrassing!

What was? Being turned down? You don't suppose it's as bad as tripping on spaghetti sauce in the middle of a bowling alley and flying down the lane with the ball stuck on your toe, is it?

What does spaghetti sauce have to do with anything? Oh, never mind. Who did he turn down?

Well, your sister for one. She was very persistent. He had to say no to her six times.

When Elizabeth read this, she blushed. Oh, why did Lydia have to make a fool of their family? She shook her head. She hated Punk Guy. Why would she care what he thought?

Well, you know Lydia...

Yeah and so does half of this school. Sorry, no offense.

None taken.

Anyway, do you know that drama girl, Jolene? She asked him. Anabel did too, though I thought she's with John. Who knows? They break up all the time. Mallory Kinkles, Allison Chen, Lila Febbs. And half of the track team.

Sounds more than eight to me.

Well, I suppose it is. I wonder how much Richard has on his list.

I don't even want to know.

Who's he going with?

Some blonde, I bet.

Mr. Griffith was walking by, handing out practice exams for the early May AP tests. Hazel stuffed the note in her pocket and tried to concentrate on her mundane class work, forgetting to ask Liz why Will Darcy infuriated her so much and why she was interested in the girls who liked him.

Chris strolled into the AP Calculus class with his lower level math test in his hand.

"Can I help you?"

"Yeah, I have to take this."

Mrs. Grady pointed to the empty desk in front of Marianne. Chris walked over, noticing that Will had moved his desk next to her and they were deeply engrossed in conversation. He felt jealously rise in him. When he was close enough, he heard Will say, "...and the area under this curve would need to be solved by the integral from the range of zero to three..."

Chris tried to concentrate on his test. He needed a C at the very least, but he couldn't help leaning back and listening to Marianne and Will talk in their confusing terms. Then Ed interrupted them. "Do we have to dress for the theme?"

"No one's forcing you to. But that's the fun of it," Will answered.

"I'm going to be a shark," James smiled, then began drumming out the music for 'Jaws.'

"You look more like tuna," Marianne drawled.

"What are you two wearing?"

Chris broke his pencil. What did Ed mean? As in two, as you and you? Or as in two, as him and her?

"We'll see. We're going shopping at the mall on Friday."

Ed meant him and her! Him and her!

"You know, you should really tell more girls about this arrangement," Ed was saying.

"Arrangement? What do you mean?" Will frowned in confusion.

Ed smiled happily. He really did like Will, especially when he no longer posed a threat to him and Elinor. "Well, going to the dance with Marianne."

"I've told everyone who asked that I have a date."

"But you haven't said whom."

Marianne thought about that. Why didn't he? Was he embarrassed? Did he want to back out? Was there some odd growth from her head? Perhaps her fingernails were too square?

"I've learned from past experience not to mention the girl's name. My prom date freshmen year was harassed by so many other girls."

Marianne let out an audible sigh. All the boys were looking at her. "I solved it!" she cried happily then dug her nose deep into her book.

"You can go to prom as a freshmen at your old school?" Ed resumed.

"Oh no, I went with a senior. She asked me."

James muttered in an exasperated voice, "Have you ever asked a girl out?"

"No."

"You never had to, have you?"

"No."

"Why don't you?"

"I wouldn't know how to begin!"

"It's the librarian!"

Chaz looked at John. "The librarian? Will's going to Sadies with Miss Crankshaft?"

"No," John rolled his eyes in that oh-c'mon way. He waited for someone to say something, but everyone just blinked at him. He threw up his arms in exasperation and cried, "Marianne Dashwood!"

"Oh," Jane and Chaz uttered at the same moment.

"So, why all this secrecy about who it is?" Richard tilted his head. He had pounded Will with questions last week when they were in the ice bath, but Will had simply grinned and avoided the subject. He even ducked into the sub-42 degree water at one time to Richard's utter horror and amazement.

"Well, if it's my guess, there's something going on between Will and Marianne, if you know what I mean." John nudged Jane, who swiped him with her nails.

"Will Darcy is a Boy Scout. Who did you get this info from?" Chaz muttered, biting into his ham sandwich.

"Chris."

Everyone rose their eyebrows. "Okay, so Chris didn't come up with that theory. He said something about how most of the girls Will has ever gone out with were harass so he didn't reveal their names. Doesn't that sound so stupid?"

"It would if it weren't Will Darcy. Every girl on this campus has had a crush on him sometime this year," defended Jane.

This made Charles shift in his seat. He thought Will was a good egg...but...

Jane looked at her boyfriend. "Please don't tell me you're insecure. Have you been reading those self-help books I gave you?"

Charles blushed deep red.

Chapter 15 - Head Full of Ideas

March 31st, 2001, Netherfield Gym

He was a king 'til she laid waste
Now he cannot fill up the space
And I see him drifting
While he's drifting
On Bourbon Alley, feeling low
Just because she let him go
I don't think he even knows
He'll ever be fine

Lisa snapped at Chris. "I want some punch! I'm so hot in here!"

Chris blinked. How was that possible? She was barely wearing anything!

Lisa snapped again. "Chrissy!"

Chris scowled and moved toward the refreshment table. She was really starting to bother him. Maybe he should dump her... And look like a pathetic loser in front of Marianne? No, he couldn't.

He got her some punch, feeling really horrible. A prick in the back of his mind told him that he was using Lisa, and he didn't like that at all.

And he's got a head full of ideas
Let me tell ya, that you wouldn't believe
And he's got a heart full of pure gold
And something else, many tricks up his sleeve

Marianne laughed as she watched Will skank to the pumping music. He made her forget how conscious she was about her dancing, which didn't involve much more than moving her arms from side to side and swinging her hips on occasion. She never had so much fun.

Will was having a good time too. Marianne looked especially pretty with her long, curly auburn hair falling down her back. Her lack of sourness also revealed that she had a very enthusiastic and contagious smile.

Meanwhile, Elinor wasn't smiling so much. Ed had stepped on her Chinese Laundry shoes for the sixth time that night. And they had only been at the dance for ten minutes! This whole blubbering idiot thing was starting to get on her nerves.

You might think he's a jester
Because he'll make you laugh til' you cry
And what else, you better come with your best
If you test him, unless you're ready to die

And that wasn't the only trouble brewing. Jane and Charles.

"Look, why can't you exude some confidence?"

"What happened to all that serenity stuff you're known for? Why don't you just calm down?"

"I am calm!" she screamed.

Charles did something he never did before. He laughed in her face and stomped away.

A million people come and go
Through a person's ebb and flow
And faces keep on changing
While they're changing

Lydia pulled her skirt up. If that was possible.

"George, do you think this is too short?"

George glanced at her with dull eyes. She was starting to gain some weight. After all, hormones could swing one way or another for a person. And it swung the other way for Lydia. "Yes."

"What?"

Instead of answering, George walked away. Maybe he should find his date. What was her name, again?

A certain few will stay intact
When they're not, they'll do an act
I know this important fact
Don't get confused like that

Richard found Charles, Edward, and Chris sitting at a table together. Charles was scowling fiercely and staring out at the dance floor though there was no indication he was seeing anything. Ed was looking at his feet. Chris kept swiveling around, looking up, down, left, right, everywhere.

"So, boys..."

None of them looked up.

"Hey Clare, honey...why don't you get me some punch?"

Richard's date nodded and bounced off. She was already a Playboy bunny in the making. Richard grabbed a chair and sat at the table. "Why does this look like the ex-boyfriend club?"

Still nobody answered. Actually, it didn't even register in anyone's head that Richard was there, much less talking to them.

"Any lights on in there?" He waved his hands in front of Chaz's eyes. He didn't even blink. "Mufasa!" He poked Edward. "No, nothing, not even a shudder?"

First you love him, then you're loving him not
All the while, he just smiles, giving all that he's got
Do you find it in your heart to say he's not what you sought?
Do you want me to continue with this, or what?*

"So, do you?" Marianne asked shyly.

"Sure, why not?" Will shrugged with an easy smile. He took her hand, not noticing the way it shook and they walked over to the arch.

Coach Bennet saw Will and beckoned him to the front of the line.

"No, it's okay, Coach, we'll wait."

"Oh, c'mon, Darce, do you want to marry the girl or not?"

* You Wouldn't Believe ~ 311

Chapter 16 - Infinite Stupidity

Posted on Monday, 24 September 2001

"There are only two things in this world that I know are infinite: the universe and stupidity. And I'm not sure about the universe." ~Albert Einstein

"Marianne Dashwood! What are you doing in there?" Elinor pounded on the bathroom door. After the disaster on Saturday, she was in no mood to deal with her sister's sudden desire to monopolize the bathroom, especially when school was going to start in two hours! How would she do her hair in time? "Marianne!"

"I'm trying to floss!" came the muffled response through the door.

"Floss? But you've been flossing for half an hour!"

"Well, you can never floss too well!"

Elinor leaned against the door in frustration. Suddenly, it swung open and she found her back against the cold tile. Her sister rushed past her.

"Is that my skirt?" Elinor rubbed the back of her head. She must've hit the floor pretty hard to think that Marianne was wearing a knee-length, flowered skirt.

"Hey."

"Oh, morning and all," Hazel muttered before turning back to her notes.

"Haze, need I remind you it's only an extra credit quiz," Will said while he rolled his eyes and sat down. Wow, multi-task skills.

"But I want extra credit!"

"You don't need extra credit. And how are you suppose to study for a Fermi quiz anyway?"

"There's a way. There's always a way." Hazel arched an eyebrow. "And I know I don't need extra credit. I just want to beat you."

Will laughed.

"I'm going to. Just watch," she replied and stuck out her tongue.

"Hey, that reminds me!"

"Sticking out my tongue reminds you of something? What happened with you over the weekend?"

"Well, if you must know..." He paused with a smile. "I was wondering why I wasn't completely irritated by your presence at the dance last Saturday."

"Why, did I miss much?"

Will shrugged. "Not really. Except about everyone had some sort of break-up or another."

"Everyone?"

"Oh man, you can say that again!" Richard said as he slid into his seat. He slid a little too far and stumbled into Liz's vacant seat but tried to play it cool by leaning across the desk. Meanwhile, Will and Hazel leaned the other direction, trying to avoid looking directly at
his noisy orange shirt.

"Anyone I care to know?" Hazel asked.

"All of them." Richard leaned forward, forcing the pair to turn away. (He didn't seem to notice that shining like Apollo had ill effects on his friends, but then again...it's Richard.) "Let's see, Elinor was so mad at Ed that she ended up dancing with John for most of the night. Ed sort of sulked at the corner. But I don't see that ending too soon. Elinor has vested too much time in Ferrars to let him go that easily."

Will and Haze nodded in agreement, glancing at the pair who was turned away from one another but had their stools pretty close together.

"Then there was Chris and Lisa."

"Well, that was going to happen sooner or later," Hazel muttered.

"Yeah, I heard from Clare who heard from John while he was looking over Jane's shoulder that he overheard Eric Shadings say that some guy serving drinks at the refreshment table was talking to his friend when they changed shifts. And this guy had told this other guy that Lila was across the room when Angela came over and said that her date had been getting punch and he heard from Ms. Hurtz who was eavesdropping on Barry telling Monique about it all. And you know how Barry and Chris know each other through yoga so Barry must've known about the whole thing with Chris getting frustrated and throwing punch down Lisa's dress. I heard he was pretty mad."

Will, who was drumming absentmindedly on Liz's desk, stopped for a second and contemplated Richard for a moment. Then, he resumed.

"Oh...really?" Hazel managed to reply. "And what did you hear from Chris himself?"

"Oh, he didn't say a thing. Too upset about the whole thing, you know. But here's the real
shocker of the night. And I think it's for good too!"

"Who are you talking about?" Hazel questioned curiously.

Richard looked at Will. "Well, we know who it is, don't we, Darcy?"

"You mean, we know who they are."

"What?" Richard was confused.

"Well, you were referring to Jane and Chaz, weren't you? That's one, two people, so it would make sense if you-"

"Jane Bennet and Charles Bingley! You've got to be kidding with me!"

Just then the bell rang and Elizabeth was seen making a mad dash to her seat.

Mrs. Bryant looked at the flustered teen. "You're safe from me this time, Ms. Bennet. But one more tardy, and it's SWAPs."

"Yes, ma'am," replied Liz, a little short of breath.

"If you would only spend less time dancing in front of the mirror in the morning, Pop Princess, you wouldn't have such a problem rushing to school. But I suppose it's the
workout that counts."

Liz scowled at Will and used her book to push his hands off her desk.

The bell rang and everyone rushed out of their seats. Will and Hazel raced to the door.

Unfortunately for Will, he slid on the tiled floor and collided with a pretty girl in a flowered skirt.

"Oh, sorry! I didn't mean to..."

Will trailed off as he took in the sight before him. The pretty girl in the flowered skirt turned out to be Marianne. It (the skirt, of course) floated softly to her knees in a mixture of soft green and blue. She was wearing a sky blue V-neck top with quarter sleeves and her hair was worn in tight curls done half-up. (Oh yeah, and she had on her wedding ring from the dance.)

"Um...hi, Will. Walk me to class?"

Will nodded numbly and took her arm.

"Was that Marianne Dashwood?" Richard gaped as the pair walked away.

"I don't know what she went through all that trouble for. William Darcy, really!" Liz muttered under her breath only loud enough for everyone in the hallway to hear.

Chapter 17 - The Constipations of Life

"Chaz, if you don't stop eating all those Skittles, you're going to be constipated," Richard chided as he made a move for the bag.

"You only want my Skittles," he muttered sourly.

"Hey, can you give me some credit here? It makes you constipated!"

"And where did you here that? I know it wasn't in Bio."

"ER, baby."

Chris walked over holding a one pound bag of Skittles and sat next to Chaz.

"Not you too!"

"Will Darcy is going out with Marianne," was the reply Richard received before Chris started pouring them down his throat.

"You guys are pathetic," Richard muttered as he picked up the Skittles that fell in the dirt.

"You're the one who's eating Skittles off the floor," Chaz muttered.

"Ten second rule, man. They're still good."

"Girls are trouble," Charles moaned.

"Hear, hear!" Chris cried out.

"What are you boys talking about? I think you guys are the problem," Liz scowled as she sat between Chris and Chaz.

"And what's eating you?" Richard asked.

"Nothing's eating me, but I'll have some Skittles," Elizabeth replied as she grabbed some from both the boys.

"Now you're going to be constipated too."

"Be a dear and bake me some brownies with laxatives then."

"Is Wickham still bothering you?"

"Wickham. That idiot."

"So we'll take that as a yes," said Chris slowly in case Liz erupted. He was very frighten of eruptions.

"No...why would I care about him?" Elizabeth kicked at a Skittles in the dirt. "I meant Will."

"What...Billy Collins?" asked Richard. Chaz had thrown a Skittles in his ear. "Ooo...a green one!"

"Eww...no, Will Darcy."

"Hey, I've got problems with him too," replied Chris.

"Relationship problems?" Liz questioned doubtfully.

"Hey, this is high school, you guys. We're suppose to have fun, we're suppose to experiment with our lives. Why do you have to make relationships so complicated?"

Liz, Chaz, and Chris all looked at one another and with a mouthful of Skittles, said simultaneously, "That's probably the wisest thing you ever said Richard!"

"I thought the wisest thing I ever said was Skittles make you constipated."

Chapter 18 - Ice Princess

Netherfield Track, Spring Break

Will winced with pain as he slid into the ice bath. The sub-40 degree water made his feet ache. He clenched his teeth as the cold attacked his legs but numbed the sharpness in his left knee.

He closed his eyes, trying not to think of anything of all. He looked at his watch. Eight seconds...

He closed his eyes again and imagined himself taking long strides toward the finish line. Twelve seconds...

"At this rate, I'll never make it to twelve minutes," he muttered to himself.

"How long have you been in here?"

Will looked up and saw Elizabeth. That was probably the first time she addressed him voluntarily in a month.

Will glanced at his watch and sighed. "Thirty-six seconds."

Elizabeth seemed to stand there for a second, contemplating over what to do.

"It's not like I bite," Will muttered. "I'm not Richard. What are you waiting for?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," she replied curtly as she hiked up her shorts and stepped in. Or rather, stood on the stool and slid over the metal side. "Ah, sh*t, this is cold!"

"Ten push-ups, Pop Princess."

"Go to h*ll."

"Twenty push-ups, Ice Princess."

Liz glared at him. "What's your problem?"

"What's my problem? What's your problem? You're the one with the attitude."

"My deepest apologies! I bet you didn't know easy girls had attitudes," Liz snapped.

"What are you talking about?"

"Oh, c'mon, Will. The rumor! Or have you forgotten?" Elizabeth's voice rose with every word she spat out. "You always play the dashing prince for the audience, but you're just a jerk like everyone else."

"The rumor!" Will replied incredulously. "What does that stupid thing Collins-"

"Sure, blame it on him. I know you were the one-"

"I was the one!" Everything was clicking together now. The reason why she would never talk to him. Why she was always ignoring him or scowling at him. Will scrambled out of the ice bath. "You need to get your priorities straightened out before you make false accusations."

Liz opened her mouth to speak but he had already left.

Chapter 19 - Bored With the Same Old Lines

Posted on Sunday, 21 October 2001

10 pm, April 9th, 2001, Dashwood Residence

Ed walked back and forth along the sidewalk, glancing at the light in the window. Not anyone's window but Elinor's. He took a deep breath and stepped across the lawn.

Getting down on one knee, Ed discovered the grass was very wet. The water was seeping through his Dockers (yes, he's that preppy!). "Oh no, these pants were only twelve days old!"

He pulled a handkerchief from his shirt pocket and placed it under his wet knee. Returning to his formal position, he placed his clarinet on his knee and started the chords for his serenade.

Got nothing to lose this time
And I'm bored with the same old lines

He saw the curtains rustle from above and continued to play.

I never know what to do or what to say to you
One look and you'll knock me out
You put me on the floor with a ten count
I don't wanna make a scene but I gotta make you see

"If you don't want to make a scene, you better move to the next window over before I throw something large and heavy at you!"

Ed looked up and saw Marianne glaring at him from the window. "Ooh, sorry..." he muttered quickly under his breath. Okay, maybe that wasn't Elinor's window.

Picking up his handkerchief, he counted the windows again. "One...two...isn't it the third one over?"

Marianne rolled her eyes and shouted, "The third one over from the right side, you dork!"

Ed shrugged his shoulders and moved towards the window she indicated. Marianne watched from above as he began to play. She pictured an anorexic hippo fumbling over the chords, blowing at odd intervals and spitting everywhere in place of Edwards Ferrars. But she thought it was sweet nevertheless.

That I've been waiting for a girl like you
And I know there's nothing I could do

Marianne turned away from the window and crept toward her sister's room. She peered around the doorframe and saw Elinor looking curiously out the window at the ruckus occurring below.

Don't wanna make you hurt
Don't wanna make you feel
Like the world ain't on your side
Like you're never gonna get it right

[Geez, what can possibly happen in the middle of the Hippo Serenade? Elinor can forgive Ed, but that's entirely too boring and conventional... She could cheat on him!! Dun, dun, dun, dun... She could be caught in the act of cheating on him!! Oooo...that may be interesting!]

[Oh, how very sad Eliza!]

[I know but the conflict can't simply end there. It must be dragged out and killed again...and again...and again...and again...]

No I can't fight, I can't sleep at night
Thinking about you girl

Marianne couldn't see her sister's reaction so she stepped into the room. And then...she screamed over Ed's last line:

I'm a fool for you*

"Ahhhhhh! You tramp! You tramp! Ahhhhhh! Ahhhhhhhh!"

Elinor turned towards her sister to see her screaming and jumping in the middle of her room. She never saw her sister so out of sorts before, unless she was being neurotic. "Marianne, calm down!"

"Calm down? Calm down?! My sister's a slut!"

Edward was disappointed when Elinor turned away from the window. But he was soon bewildered when he heard screams emanating from above. He strained to hear better.

"...slut...slut...slut...."

"Stop saying that! Stop saying that!"

"...slut...slut...slut...."

Elinor was ready to strangle her sister. She seemed to be stuck in some endless loop. "John, could you please come back tomorrow?"

"No!" Marianne grabbed John's arm as he tried to get by her. "Ed is down there! You can't let him find out that way!"

"Marianne, mind your own business."

Marianne ignored her sister's last comment and screamed, "You have to talk to him! You have to straighten things out before you shatter his heart completely!"

"Don't say that..."

"Then don't do it. Don't do that to him!"

John tried to pull away from Marianne's tight grip but she snatched the laser pen from behind her ear and waved it in his face. "Don't even think about it, buddy."

* I'm a Fool ~ American Hi-Fi

Chapter 20 - All the Wrong Things

April 10th, 2001, Netherfield Track

"How can she do that to him? It's completely unethical. There should be a code against it. Yes, a code! That's what we should have. I'm writing to the editor of the newspaper. We are going to put it in the school constitution! Is there a school constitution? I can't believe I don't know. That poor boy, did you see him? I wonder what she said to him. She wasn't too gentle was she? I bet that she-"

"Honey, I can't even follow you," Will interrupted mildly.

"Are you paying attention?"

"If I weren't, I wouldn't have said anything. I would've allowed you to rant and rave until the duck flew at midnight, having no audience except yourself."

"Glad to know you're willing to ditch me so easily," Marianne pouted.

Will just grinned in response, shifting the ice bags on his knees.

"You should've seen him playing the clarinet and singing to her like that. It was terribly sweet. Sounded like a-"

"-serenading hippo-"

"But it was sweet nonetheless." She ran a hand through her hair. "How could she trade sweet Ed for brainless John?"

"Ask the wise blowfish." Will placed several ice cubes in his mouth, making his cheeks puff out. "Eef ay hafe da antser."

"Say what?"

Will rolled his eyes and spit out the cubes, hitting Ed as he passed by. Ed slipped on the frozen water and went skidding into the wall. He simply turned around and went back the way he came. "Sorry Ed." Will shook his head. "That wasn't even funny anymore. Things are bad when stupidity is not longer funny. Ed doesn't look too good, does he?"

"I was surprised he showed up for practice today. I mean, it wasn't like Elinor was going to be here but I would think looking at John would be bad enough. She's treating them like toys. Like little Ken dolls that she can sport around. 'I'm Barbie and I'm going to play with Ken the Preppy Boy and Ken the Jock just because I can.' And the fact that they are letting her get away with it is even more frustrating." Marianne picked up some random pebbles off the floor and began throwing them. "I never thought she would be so cruel."

[Ow! Don't throw them at the writer! Do you want me to break you and Will up?]

"People can surprise you. And they can be misinterpreted by you too."

Elizabeth turned the corner just in time to hear Will's last comment. She saw the couple sitting against the bleachers, Marianne holding the ice bags to her boyfriend's knees. She turned back around and let her forehead gently thud against the wall.

Chapter21A (Birthdays Suck [Sometimes])

Posted on Wednesday, 14 November 2001

April 15th, 2001, Bennet Residence

"Happy, happy birthday. Happy, happy birthday," Lydia sang while waving her hands and generally getting into her sister's morose face.

"If you don't stop singing, I'm going to kick the living crud out of you."

"Geez, someone has her panties in a twist."

"Someone will find all her panties, including the 'granny' ones, hanging out the window for all to see if they don't leave me alone."

"I was only trying to wish you a happy seventeenth birthday," Lydia frowned. She didn't know was wrong with Liz lately but it certainly brought everyone down. She tossed her sister's birthday present from her on the bed and left, mumbling over her shoulder about going to the movies.

Elizabeth fell back on her bed and rubbed her head. She didn't understand why she was in such a foul mood lately and wasn't too keen on figuring it out. (Typical, huh?) She just hoped that it would pass soon enough.

She threw the newspaper-wrapped gift that Lydia had left there amongst a small pile of other presents yet to be unwrapped. The clock on her nightstand read 9:38 P.M. She had already cancelled all the plans she had that night and assumed that it was too late to make new ones. Everyone was probably out and about already. (Of course she was wrong!)

She rolled off her bed and decided to take a shower before she went through her newly acquired trinkets and what not she received on her birthday.

As this event was taking place, Lydia was letting some of Liz's friends in through the back door.

This should lift her spirits up! Lydia smiled as she ushered them in. Her smile became extremely wide as Will sauntered through the door and it turned wicked when she slapped his butt before she rushed out. (Not like she was going to stay at her sister's surprise party. Sure, she planned it but she had better things to do than hang out with her friends.)

Marianne's eyebrow twitched at Lydia's action but Will acted as though nothing happened. "I don't know, Marianne...Should we even be here?"

"You're the one who didn't like the awkwardness between you two."

"I know," Will pouted. "But this is her birthday. I don't want to be ruining her special day. Maybe we should do this some other time. And I need to pee!"

"There's a bathroom right there," Marianne pointed.

"There's already someone in there. I need to go now!"

"Baby."

"Upstairs, two doors to your right," Richard offered.

Will made a mad dash toward the stairs, forgetting that this was a surprise party. But his dilemma seemed to be more urgent anyway so we'll have to forgive him.

"I've never seen that boy run so fast," Hazel mummered.

Liz turned off the water and stepped out of the shower. But before she got out of the shower, she slipped because she didn't have one of those handy-dandy shower mats to prevent accidents in the tub. She grabbed onto the shower curtain to prevent herself from falling but she had one of those plastic ones with the rings instead of the sliding glass ones with those handy-dandy handlebars to hold onto. This caused her to fall backwards (well, I'm not sure if a faulty shower curtain forced her to fall in a particular direction but anyway...Did you know someone actually has a partial answer for why shower curtains billow inward?). Her arms and legs flailed helplessly in the air as she tripped over the wall of the bathtub and she landed herself head first into the toilet. And somehow, she managed to bring her hand down on the handle and flush. (I'm kidding, of course. You would think she's capable of getting out of the shower on her own, but you never know, I guess.)

Well, Liz had the genius to make it out all right without giving herself a swirly or anything along those lines. She however found her bathroom completely void of a towel. She was getting goosebumps on her skin from the cold and decided to walk the hallway down to her room. It wasn't like anyone else was home anyway.

She opened the bathroom door and...

...walked out into the hallway stark-naked...

...and was surprised to find...

...

...

(Where was this story going again? Oh yeah!)

...

...

...

(Wait, paused for too long. Forgot again.)

...

...

...

...

...and was surprised to find...

...

...

...

...

...

...

(Yes, I'm forcing you to scroll down!)

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...a wallet on the ground.

(Well, what did you expect? Will?! When he realized the bathroom was occupied, he figured it was Liz, of course! And went right back down the stairs. This is PG after all!)

Liz picked it up and headed into her room. She couldn't locate a towel and so grabbed a track sweater to dry herself. Not seeing a point of dressing up for her household walls, she threw on some warm-up pants (the ones that make that lovely swish-swish noise) and a plain gray sweater.

Who is Lydia going out with now? If she's actually going out with them that is... thought as she pulled the velcro apart on the navy blue Quicksilver wallet. She opened it up to find...

"What was that?" Elizabeth's head snapped up as she heard a sound from downstairs. She left the wallet on her bed and went down to see what was going on.

Chapter 21B - Regulate the Lighter Fluid on your Hot Dogs

Posted on Sunday, 16 December 2001

"Surprise!" Everyone shouted as Liz walked down the stairs.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" she screamed, clutching her heart. "You scared the living crap out of me!"

"Oh really?" Hazel replied as she ran up to hug her friend. "I didn't know your crap was a living organism. You might want to keep that to yourself. Who knows what the government would do to you if they found out."

"Ha, ha! Real funny." She looked at all her smiling friends. "Geez, you guys, this is great. But look at me! I look awful."

"Yeah, well, we all knew that already. But if you want to change, I could help you out," Richard offered with a grin.

"How kind of you. Give me five minutes, you guys. I'll be right back."

When Elizabeth came back down, everyone yelled "Surprise" again. She stumbled back up two steps but eventually fell down on the stairs.

"Stop doing that!"

They all laughed at her and Jane rushed forward to help her out. "C'mon, everyone, let's go outside."

"But I want to open my presents!" Elizabeth whimpered as her cousin led her to the backyard.

"Tough toenails, kid." Apparently, the puppy dog method didn't work.

The patio lights had been turned on and a radio was set up. A techno tune was playing and Phyllis, one of Liz's closer acquaintances, was pulling out all the stops. A few teens joined her in the dance while most of them stood on the side, watching and making snide remarks while wishing they had the guts or skills to bust it out that way.

"I never suspected a thing," Elizabeth said with a shake of her head. "I was going to spend the night gourging on ice-cream or something."

"Well, I guess you have Lydia to thank. She saved you from drowning yourself in Rocky Road."

"Lydia?!"

"Yeah, stayed long enough to slap Will's backside and then left, but she did organize it," Ed explained as he scanned the yard for Elinor.

"Elinor's not here. And she's not going to be here," Jane said with a roll of her eyes.

"I know that. Who says I was looking for her?"

"Oh, c'mon, it's obvious-"

"Will was here? As in William Andrew Darcy?" Elizabeth interrupted.

"Well, he was. He left with Marianne before you came down," Chaz shrugged. (He has adapted the 'I-don't-care' attitude since his break-up with Jane, by the way.)

A roaring flame shot up, catching everyone's attention. Richard leaned back, beating his chest. "I have fire!"

"You don't have Richard manning the fire, do you?" Elizabeth asked worriedly.

"The fire is dying down. We're out of newspapers," Charles remarked, peering at the black ashes of the pit.

"We're not out of lighter fluid," Richard smiled, holding up the bottle.

Chris wiped his mouth with a napkin and contributed it to the pit. "Does anyone have any plates we can put in?"

"Mine still has beans on it," said Liz.

"Are you going to eat them?"

"No."

"Then go ahead."

Elizabeth frowned but stuffed it into the pile of burnt logs and what not.

"I can't believe I'm actually eating these hot dogs!" Hazel exclaimed, gazing at the processed meat at the end of her hanger, straightened for the purpose of heating up her food over possibly toxic flames.

"Just think about fast food. The meat at Taco Bell is said to be on a lower level than dog food," Ed offered.

"Thanks, that helps," Hazel smiled insincerely.

Liz had been quite impatient about her hot dog and stuck it in the dying embers. It lighted up and she pulled it out, blowing out the flames after several puffs.

Richard eyed the black wiener. "I'm not sure I would even eat that," he remarked slowly. His tone shifted considerably at his next declaration, however. "Put some ketchup on it and I might."

"Okay," Elizabeth shrugged and used a bun to pull it off. Ashes fell from the dog as she was doing thus.

Jane walked up with a Friskies box. "Here, we could burn this." She tossed it in.

"Hey, not bad," Chris remarked as the fire became reanimated.

The ends of the box curled and turned black. When the flames reached the face of the box, it started to bubble. Hazel instantly retracted her hot dog.

"That, my friends, is a display of harmful substances entering the atmosphere." [So don't do it!!]

"But it was only cardboard," Jane protested.

"Obviously not," Chaz muttered. For this, he received an intensely angry glower from his former girlfriend. Not that he cared, of course.

"What we need is some trusty lighter fluid," Richard declared, dousing the fire and various hot dogs with it.

Everyone pulled out their meat as the lighter fluid set them in flames.

"We're doing the s'mores in the microwave," Hazel firmly stated.

Chapter 21C - Halfway Between Here and There

Most of the crowd had left as it approached two in the morning. Elizabeth's parents called to tell her that they would be staying at her uncle's house and they had picked Lydia up from a party and forced her to come with them. It couldn't had been more perfect.

The remaining stragglers that Liz couldn't kick out were, of course, her truest friends, even if they didn't get along all the time. (Of course, I'm not referring to Jane and Charles. Why would I be?)

Elizabeth rubbed her hands together in anticipation. "I finally get to open all my presents." She saw something in a plastic grocery bag and picked it up. "I'm going to assume that a guy got me this."

"Why would you say that? It's completely sexist to assume only a guy would be incapable of wrapping a gift," Richard said defensively.

"I wasn't making that assumption, Richard. I was assuming that guys don't put presents in sparkling gold bags if the need for a bag should arise."

"Yeah, she was assuming they would put them in grocery bags. After all, they're more economical," Hazel smirked.

"They are!" Richard frowned. Or was that paper bags?

'Paper,' Jane mouthed.

Richard didn't recall asking his question out loud. But then again, it was Richard. "Fine! I'll put it in a paper bag next year!"

"How considerate of you," Hazel said with a laugh.

"Could I?" interrupted an exasperated Elizabeth.

"Just open it."

"Well, I'm not really opening, am I?" Elizabeth replied as she dug into the bag, pulling out purple Play-Doh. And then red Play-Doh, followed by yellow, orange, green, blue. "Wow, Richard, this is something..."

"Keep going," he replied with a smirk and leaned back in his seat so far that he slid off and hit the floor.

Elizabeth calmly waited for Richard to return to his seat before digging through the bag carefully. Her fingers finally came into contact with cold metal. She pulled out a silvery chain with small charms attached to it. She looked at the bracelet carefully and saw that it read her name.

Liz laughed. She forgot that Richard always gave her jewelry. He was forever the typical romancer.

For about an hour or so, Liz dug through her presents and they are laughed and sighed at the outrageous and heart-felt things she received. Frilly bras and strips of material meant to be underwear piled up on one side. She placed random items, such as Richard's Play-Doh, to another side. In that heap she added a toy sword, courtesy of Charles, nerd glasses, bubbles, a plastic finger, a mouse trap (Elizabeth really raised her eyebrows on that one), a spatula, sticky hands, fake flowers and so forth.

Hazel picked up an orange feather boa. "I can understand why we give you random things but..." She trailed off, her face twisted in a disgusted look.

"When did giving gift certificates go out of style?" finished Jane, looking at the feather boa with grave consideration.

Liz laughed and picked up the last gift. "There's no card," she mumbled.

"It must be from Will."

Elizabeth looked at Edward. "Will Darcy got me a present?"

"Why is he Will Darcy?" Richard yawned.

"What?"

"I mean, it's never Will. It's Will Darcy. It's like you're referring to a celebrity or something. Hey, it's Will Darcy."

Elizabeth frowned at him. "Well, he does seem to have a certain celebrity at school."

"Not that it matters to you," Richard replied.

"Of course," she said, fingering the box.

There was a moment of silence before Jane broke it. "Are you going to open it?"

"Nah, maybe later. C'mon, guys, help me clean up."

The clock read 5:12 in the morning. Liz looked at the ceiling. She could hear Hazel whistling in her sleep, the air passing out through her teeth. Jane was snorting quite loudly and even when she pulled the pillow over her head, she could hear her. Liz contemplated recording the sound just for the fun of it but figured Jane would turn purple with anger before cutting off her air supply.

Elizabeth looked at the dark forms of Jane and Hazel on the floor and slowly lifted herself up on her elbows. She slid off the bed and crept around them slowly. It was still quite dark, especially with the curtains drawn. Unexpectedly, she rammed her foot against a chair and let forth a string of curses. She grabbed her foot and hopped around on one leg, trying to avoid her friends. She tripped over Hazel, who simply grunted and pulled at her blankets. After hitting the floor with a thud and moaning for a few moments, she rolled off of Hazel and headed for the door.

"I wish I had my polar bear slippers," Liz murmured as her feet came into contact with the cold tile floor. She sat on the stool she had previously occupied a few hours ago. The gift was still there.

Of course, thought Elizabeth. It wouldn't just walk up and leave.

She stared at it, not thinking about anything in particular. She then thought it was nicely wrapped. Did he wrap it himself? No, Marianne probably did it... Grr... Why would it matter to her anyway? Why did he come to the party? Why didn't he stay? She then considered what he might've said if he stayed. Elizabeth, my love, I care not a thing for Marianne. It is you that I want. Liz suddenly jolted out of her half-conscious state. What had she been thinking? Elizabeth, my love? And why was Will talking like a nineteenth-century English gentleman in her fantasy?

Liz buried her face in her hands. She didn't want to think. She just wanted to be in his arms... What?! She needed sleep and she needed it quickly. She slid off the stool and turned purposely towards the stairs but halted, realizing sleep would not come if she did not open that gift.

She sighed and began to carefully unwrap. And I mean, she unknotted the ribbon and place it aside, pulled off the tape, unfolded the paper. The works. It took her a few minutes before she had in front of her a brown cardboard box.

She took off the lid and saw a note. It was written in a messy scribble that Liz noted was not Will's.

Hey Elizabeth,

I wanted to wish you happy birthday. I know we're not actually friends, more like acquaintances, but you've always been nice. Anyway, you're my sister's friend. Or was...or at least, I think you were. Sorry, I'm not sure. I must sound ridiculous.

(Indeed, you do, thought Liz bitterly.)

Well, anyway, happy birthday.

Marianne Dashwood

Lotion from Bath and Body Works. Elizabeth frowned and pushed the box away from her.

It was suppose to be a gift from Will Darcy. Liz almost laughed when she acknowledged the truth of Richard's earlier statement. He wasn't Will but Will Darcy.

She slowly picked through the different bottles without any interest and was surprised to see something at the bottom of the box. There was an envelope and she slid it out. A CD case tumbled out with it. There was an unfocused picture of a hula girl on the cover. "Halfway Between Here and There" by Rx Bandits. She quickly ripped open the envelope to see a birthday card. She didn't bother to read it but centered her attention on his written message.

Happy Birthday Pop Princess. You deserve to have the greatest day of your life (despite your ill treatment of me). Don't worry, I don't hold grudges for very long but if you try to apologize, I'm going to be so rude to you, you're going to be mad at me all over again. By the way, they're good. And it's ska, not punk.

Elizabeth stared at the card for a few seconds. She felt unbelievable giddy and didn't bother to sit there and analyze the reason for it. Instead, she grabbed the CD and ran upstairs. She was going to listen to it that instant.

Chapter 22

Posted on Saturday, 9 March 2002

Truth

"What is it?" John muttered, barely hiding his exasperation.

"I'm tired of this!" Elinor pouted, folding her arms over her chest.

"Of making out?" John croaked in surprise.

"Yes! Can't we do something else?"

"Like what?" he scowled. "Talk? You're never tired of talking."

"Okay, let's talk," Elinor replied happily. "I remember, when I was with Ed..."

"That's it!" he cried, standing up.

"John, sit down. You're ruining the movie for everyone!" Elinor hissed.

John looked around him in bewilderment. It was one in the morning. There was no one else in the theatre. "What are you talking about? There's no one else here!"

"Well, you're ruining it for me, then."

"You had no intention of watching the movie anyway! We came here to make out! But you don't want to do that anymore."

"I changed my mind. I want to watch the movie now." She rolled her eyes as though John was suppose to understand.

John was quiet for a moment. (Yes, he was actually thinking!) "Well, I change my mind too. But not about the movie, about you."

Elinor sat up. "Are you breaking up with me?"

"Yes."

She laughed, puzzling John and causing him to pout with resentment. 'Why wasn't she even mildly upset about it?'

"You're not breaking up with me, John."

"I'm not?" he asked. Realizing the stupidity of such a response, he continued bitterly, "What are you talking about? Of course I'm breaking up with you."

"Not if I break up with you first," she calmly replied. "I'm breaking up with you, John. Okay, goodbye, swoosh, you're gone."

"I don't know who you're kidding but I'm the one who dumped you."

"That's not what people are going to be saying the week we get back."

"Don't bet on it, honey," John countered. He walked toward the doors in the back but stopped suddenly and turned around.

"Crawling back already?" Elinor said with a self-satisfied smirk.

He returned the smirk. "No, I'm walking actually." He picked up the bucket of buttered popcorn and turned it over her head.

She shrieked, enraged by his act. "My hair!"

What if I told you
That you're a lovely girl
And I'd adore you if you'd just show me how, right now

The music was blasting out of the speaker with Liz accompanying it at the top of her lungs. Lydia had long since tired of her singing and left with some friends. All the better for her as she had discovered that the navy blue Quicksilver wallet she found last night belonged to none other than Will Darcy.

"Hello, Will. Looking mighty fine today," Liz drawled. She turned his driver's license around. "Looking mighty fine."

She frowned. This would work better if she had her driver's license. She took a quick look around and found her wallet on the dresser. Grabbing it, she pulled out her picture and had it saunter over to where she held Will's in her left hand.

"So, Will, where's Marianne?"

"Marianne, Marianne who?" she replied, lowering her voice to sound...well, manlier. (Though it sounded more like she had a bad cold.)

"My thoughts exactly, hot stuff."

She brought the pictures together in a pretend make-out session.

"You know, there's an RX Bandits concert this weekend," she said in her "manly/cold" voice.

"Oh, is there?" she replied in her normal voice.

"There is indeed. I was wondering if I could have the pleasure of your company. Maybe we could..."

"Yes?" she asked in the dramatic, heroine way, leaning her picture towards his.

"Mosh together."

"Oh, Will, that sounds like...heaven. Let's...head bang."

She commenced to put words into actions and began singing again at the top of her lungs as well.

What if I told you, I speak with honesty
You said yourself girl
Best things in life are free

She didn't hear the knock on her door. And she certainly didn't hear his poor attempts to cover up his laughter. Eventually, he walked up to her and tapped her on the shoulder.

Liz screamed and felt the blood drain from her face. "Hi...Will."

"Hello Liz," he said, grinning. "Do you like the CD?"

"Um...love it," she replied slowly, her mind frantically thinking about the likelihood of him witnessing the driver's license scene.

"Good to hear."

"Uh huh."

"How was the party?"

"Uh huh."

Will frowned. He didn't think it was the proper answer to his question so he asked again. Same response. He tried a different tactic.

"Are you on crack?"

"What?!"

"Response implies that answer is negative. Sorry, you seemed out of sorts."

"Out of shorts? I'm wearing shorts right now." The second she finished speaking, she realized her error. "Oh...you mean...I mean, but of course..."

"It must've been a wild party. Did you get anything good?"

"The CD," she smiled.

"That's not good. That's great. What did you get that was good?"

"What are you doing here?" she asked curiously.

"Geez, I guess I know when I'm not wanted."

"No!"

Will lifted an eyebrow at her outcry.

"I mean. I don't, I...I..." She threw up her hands in frustration. "I'm on crack!"

"Why aren't you sharing?"

"What?!"

Will laughed. "Elizabeth Bennet, I think you need a nice long nap. You're hardly coherent and you think all my jokes are accusations against yourself."

"No, I don't," she replied softly, thinking he was serious.

Will sighed. She was so strange. "But that's like the pot calling the kettle black," he muttered under his breath. "Hey! There's my wallet!"

He bent down and picked it up. "I came here for this."

"Oh."

"Okay, I came here for you then."

"Huh?"

"Liz, I'll see you later, okay? You'll be at practice tomorrow, right?" he said, turning to leave.

"Um yeah." She was still holding his driver's license in her left hand. She inhaled and pushed herself up by her fists. "Wait, Will."

She handed over the laminated card. "You might need this."

"Hmm, how did that fall out?" he said, frowning.

"Thanks." He seemed to pause for a second and then reached for her right hand. Before she could react, he had her driver's license in his hand and was scanning it under heavy brows.

Liz, horrified that he knew she was hiding it in her hand and that he was looking at it, tried unsuccessfully to get it away from him. "No, that's the worse picture ever!"

"That makes it all the more interesting. The worst picture ever."

"C'mon, Will. I look awful, my chin looks horrendously big."

"No, you look great. Except for that big chin of yours. I've never seen a chin like that in my life! You could be twins with Jay Leno."

Elizabeth gasped in horror, causing Will to laugh. He offered the driver's license to Liz, who swiped it from his hands.

Still laughing, he continued down the hall to the stairs. "Chins that big would impede photos of people from making out with photos of other people. Perhaps, you might look into chin size reduction."

Elizabeth froze. He had heard and even if he hadn't heard, he had seen, seen it all. Before her brain was capable of functioning in both sane and non-sane facilities, he was gone.

I can't see the life that's left in front of me, so drop me off
I can't do the things I was meant to do, so drop me off
Never better, never worse
Never better, never worse*

* What If ~ RX Bandits

Chapter 23 ~ Where to Go from Here?

Posted on Sunday, 14 April 2002

"Calm down!"

"Calm down?!" Elizabeth gasped. "I can't calm down. He saw!"

"Big deal. He knows you like him," Hazel replied. "....Wait, you like Will!"

Liz rolled her eyes. "I know!"

"Why didn't you tell me?" Hazel accused.

"Because I barely allowed myself to acknowledge that this disliked likeness existed in me and towards him."

"Well, you did and it does. Now what are you going to do about it?"

"I don't know. What am I suppose to do anyway?" Liz threw her hands up in exasperation and smacked Hazel in the face. So engrossed was she in her dilemma that she didn't notice her friend had let out a curse...or string of curses, and was gripping her throbbing face. (Liz was wearing a sterling silver ring by the way. It was not like she had some monster slap that took everyone out. Ironically enough, the ring was given to her by Hazel a few years back as a sign of friendship. Hmmm, smacked by the friendship ring.)

"I mean, he has a girlfriend! I couldn't possibly come between them." Liz furrowed her brow. "Could I? No, no, no...I won't even consider it. It's despicable to steal someone else's boyfriend. I would never stoop to that level. But do you... I'm not exactly his type. I don't even know what his type is! If Marianne is his type, I don't know if I want to be his type. All though... I mean it's not that much of a sacrifice if only... Ugh! You know, I think it's best if I forget about him. Completely forget about him because it would never work. I'm not even going to acknowledge his existence!"

"Whose existence won't you acknowledge?" Will said as he came around the corner with Richard. Both had their shirts off and were sweating profusely.

Elizabeth gasped. She half-expected the clouds to part, allowing a ray of light to shine upon his glistening body (and of course she didn't even notice Richard was standing right next to him). Then...it hit her. The possibility that he heard her entire rant... She started to panic. Her mouth went dry and all she could do was stare at him like a deer in headlights.

Will and Richard looked at one another and shrugged. They made their way pass her to the drinking fountains but after taking a few steps, Will called over his shoulder, "Oh...by the way, Liz, who were you talking to?"

"That was a horrible practice," Liz moaned as she rolled on the grass. "I'm not coming to another practice for the rest of spring break."

"It's going to be kind of hard for you to ditch workout when your dad's the coach."

"Thanks Haze."

"Well thanks for the mark on my face."

"It's not so bad." Liz grimaced as she spoke. There was a visible indentation of the ring on Hazel's cheek, surrounded by a blend of blacks, blues and purples.

"I can safely say, however, that James noticed me today."

"Will noticed me today," Liz smiled.

"Yeah, he noticed that you were talking to yourself."

"What am I going to do?"

"Nothing," Hazel replied as she sat down next to her friend.

"I really like him."

"I know, honey, but he has a girlfriend and Will isn't the type of guy to dump a girl just because another one likes him. And you wouldn't want him to be the type of guy to do that anyway."

"Are you sure?"

Hazel glared at her friend until she acquiesced. She wouldn't want Will to be the jerk she thought him to be.

"You need to push your feelings for him aside and treat him as you would treat any other friend. Is it going to hurt? Possibly. Will you wish things were different? Possibly. Will you feel the desire to pull out all of Marianne's hair? Possibly. Will you still check out his fine assets? Possibly. Will you be tempted to eat ice cream and listen to sad love songs? Possibly. Will you think about him constantly though you resolve to forget about him? Possibly."

"Haze...I get the point."

This did nothing to deter her friend. "Will you dream of him every night? Possibly. Will you surreptitiously take his picture? Possibly. Will you save the napkin he wiped his lips on? Possibly. Will you build a horribly extensive shrine for him? Possibly. Will you laugh at everything he says even though it's not funny? Possibly. Will you try to imitate his voice? Possibly. Will you cut your hair like his? Possibly. Will you gouge out your eye with a blunt object if I go on?"

"Possibly!" Liz cried.

"You know what, I thought you would say that exact thing." Hazel paused, as though she was contemplating the depth of their recent exchange. "Wow, my telepathic powers are kicking in. Did you notice that every question began with his name?"

Liz ground her teeth. "How could I not?"

"Look on the bright side. He doesn't treat you any different for liking him."

"I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing."

"It's probably nothing. He probably thought you were insane from the beginning."

Chapter 24 ~ Nachos, Late Night, and the Boys

Posted on Sunday, 5 May 2002

Last Day of Spring Break, Fitzwilliam Residence

"Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?"

Chris yawned and scratched his stomach. "Did you ever think of having a fondue party?"

The rest of the guys at the table looked at one other before turning back to Chris. In a chorus, they replied, "No."

"Why not? It would be like nachos," he said, gesturing toward the nachos at the center of the table. "But better."

"I'm happy with nachos."

"Me too." Richard said. Then, as an afterthought, added, "Though pizza would be nice."

"Yeah."

Ed grunted. This received a few astonished looks from the pack. Most of them didn't think Ed could grunt.

"We're a bunch of bums," Chris observed.

"And?" Chazz inquired.

"Why don't we go cruising for girls or something?"

"Because my girlfriend wouldn't like it," Will offered.

"Who said the invitation included you?" Richard grinned.

"Oh yeah, you wouldn't want competition."

"Who said you were competition?"

Will leaned back in his chair. "You're right. I'm not in your playing field."

"I don't want a girlfriend right now," Chazz mumbled.

"Who said anything about a girlfriend? It's not like we're going to give them our pen or anything! We're just out to have a good time."

"Did you just say 'pen,' Chris?" Ed questioned.

"Yeah."

"Even I'm not that much of a dork."

"Hey, I would like you to know that girls like the whole pen thing."

Richard almost spit his Gatorade back up. "Darce, would you wear my pen?" He wiggled his eyebrows and brandished a Bic ball point.

"Oh, Richard, it would be such an honor," Will replied in a simpering voice. "Oh, I love you."

"I love you too." He reached out to caress his hair.

"Don't touch me," Will said as he pushed Richard off him.

"Point proven," Richard laughed. "The pen has failed." He threw it behind him only to hear the cat let out a cry.

"I think you hit the cat," Chris muttered.

"Do you?"

"Why can't we have a fondue party?" Chris whined. "I mean, we have nachos every week."

"Because that's what women do," Chazz offered.

"I've had a fondue party before!"

"Then you're a woman. A hairy one but still a woman."

"Who's a hairy woman?" James asked as he walked in. Some of the guys grunted their greeting while others nodded at their compatriot.

"Chris. For having a fondue party."

"Well, did he host the fondue party or join it? Because those are two entirely different things," James said as he took a seat.

"Joined it."

"But he wants to host one now," Richard smirked.

James looked at his friend. "Can't help you now, buddy."

"He's a lost cause," muttered Ed.

"What's with you, Ed? You've been crabby all day."

"Oh, he called you a crustacean," Will howled. This caused Richard to spit Gatorade over everyone and the nachos.

Ed blinked, not even attempting to wipe the spit from his face. Chris, Chazz and James backed up and wiped themselves. Will leaned forward, lifting a soggy nacho chip from the pile. "You ruined the nachos."

"I couldn't help it," Richard laughed.

"What was so funny?" James queried, knitting his eyebrows together in confusion.

"C'mon, crustacean?"

"It wasn't that funny."

Chazz piped up. "What was funny was the Gatorade that shot out of his nose!"

"Great, we have Richard's snot-Gatorade all over the nachos," Chris sighed.

"Wow, you're pretty upset about those nachos, aren't you, Chris?" James asked, laughing.

The front door resounded loudly as it hit the wall.

"Who's here?" Ed pondered. The weekly get-togethers had consisted of merely Richard, Chazz, James and himself. They recently added Will and Chris who were both fairly new arrivals.

"I don't know," Richard shrugged. "My parents are out-of-town."

"Out-of-town? Then why aren't you throwing a party, man?" John cried as he strolled into the dining room.

"What the h*ll are you doing here?" Ed spat.

"Hey, hey, Eddie, what's with the bad attitude?" John said, putting his hands up in mock defense of himself.

"Er, John, what are you doing here?" Richard was as laid-back as a potato (if potatoes laid back) but he wasn't so sure about having John just waltz into his house uninvited. The last time John did that, he was drunk and threw up on the carpet.

"Thought I just hang out with the guys. I mean, you do this every week, right?"

"Yeah, how do you know?" Chazz asked with narrowed eyes.

"Oh, because you losers never have anything better to do," John smirked before picking up a nacho. He didn't notice they were all soggy. (No one bothered to warn him.)

Chapter 25 ~ Perfection Through Silence

Posted on Saturday, 15 June 2002

April 16th, 2001, Netherfield High

Elizabeth stared out of the windshield of her car. She had already seen Will since the driver's license incident but she was by no means more comforted by that thought than she was with being told she would have to catch flies with her tongue for her father's entertainment (which would make no sense whatsoever because her father would likely be highly embarrassed by such an ability as opposed to being amused by it). Though he did not ignore her or seemed disgusted by her obvious desire to make-out with him, she was still troubled by the fact that he knew.

She wanted to hit her head against the steering wheel but observed her sister flirting with John Willoughby instead. Jane had called her last night with the news of John's recent single status. This caused Liz to roll her eyes as she thought about it. John and Elinor breaking up. Inevitable. As inevitable as everyone whispering about it by the end of the week. As inevitable as Lydia attempting to make him her prom date only a few days after the split.

Alone at last
Together in a photograph

Elizabeth turned her eyes from Lydia's disgusting but highly successful display as she heard the strains of some punk rock band. Much to her own pleasure and chagrin, she was starting to recognize the differences between ska, punk, rock or a combination of all. The last few days of spring break had been spent worrying over Will's reaction, treatment of herself, his thoughts, or coming to know some of the bands he favored (which was pretty easy as he wore all of their shirts).

Our eyes are always open
Devoted to perfection through silence
What am I supposed to do?
Should I sit and wait for you?

Through the rearview mirror, she could see Will sliding his Mustang into a parking spot. She felt her stomach flip.

Listen to me screaming more
This story is old
Only to those that have no mold
The truth can be bought or sold
But what are we buying?
Nothing but silence
Fold the corners, break the silence*

He turned off the engine of his car, terminating the music as well. Elizabeth had to smile. Of course it was Will who was pulling into the junior lot with his music blasting. (Well, that wasn't entirely true but he was the only one who did that and listened to what he listened to.)

Adjusting her mirror, she settled back in her seat to watch his reflection. She was by no means going to restrict herself from staring at his butt but she wasn't going to be caught blatantly doing it as she had already been caught blatantly doing many other things. She noticed some of the freshmen girls running up to him. (And she used the term 'running' loosely by the way.) She was momentarily surprise that Lydia wasn't among the bunch but remembered that she was occupied with John.

Will hesitated. He also saw the flurry of girls heading his way. The usual crowd had died down as his relationship with Marianne progressed so he didn't understand why he was going to be mobbed today. He took a deep breath and was about to step out of the car when he caught sight of Liz staring into her rearview mirror.

He peered into his own rearview mirror, watching Liz intently. When she realized what he was doing, she gasped and quickly exited her car, hitting her head against the doorframe.

"Oh crap!" She grabbed her throbbing head and kicked her door out angrily. She ignored the looks from John and Lydia, grabbing her bag and quickly making her way to class.

Will sat in his car a little longer, contemplating the scene he had just witnessed. His contemplation didn't last long. A willowy blonde was knocking on his window. He smiled disarmingly and reluctantly exited his own car.

* Perfection Through Silence - Finch

Liz played with her keys as she waited for class to begin. Her intense concentration did not go unnoticed by her friends. Hazel and Richard exchanged looks. The latter arched his eyebrows in inquiry but Hazel only shook her head. Apparently Will hadn't shared his discovery with any of his friends. This made Hazel smile a little. Perhaps he didn't want to embarrass her. Or it didn't matter very much to him. Either way, she was proud of Will for not discussing his conquest over yet another girl's heart.

"Do you see Elinor pouting over there?" Hazel smirked, hoping to distract Richard from Liz and allow the latter to ready herself for Will.

The distraction worked perfectly. (After all, it was Richard.) He instantly turned in his chair to get a better look at the couple. Elinor was certainly dressed to impress but Ed refused to look at her. In fact, he was even chatting amiably with Annie. "Don't look at her," he laughed. "Look at Ed. The gumption on that guy."

"Wow, gumption, SAT word," Hazel paused as she took in Richard's sheepish smile. "What does gumption mean?"

"What does gumption mean?" Richard asked. "Why don't you know what gumption means?"

"I do know what gumption means!"

"Then what does it mean?"

"Why don't you tell me?"

"Because I'm waiting for you to tell me."

"Well, I guess I'll do the same."

They looked at one another for a few seconds, squinting menacingly.

"Because I don't know," Richard finally conceded. "I used it the wrong way, didn't I?"

"I don't know. Probably. I don't know what gumption means either."

They laughed at one another but Liz was not amused. She wasn't in the mood to be amused and found their conversation to be trite when it would've otherwise been funny to her. She muttered more to herself than anyone else, "Does anyone know what gumption means?"

"It originally meant common sense but sense is little to be had and not very common at all. I don't think that's why its meaning changed, probably manipulation of language, from standard form to American, maybe, but now it is defined as courage or initiative," Will explained as he sat down.

Richard grinned at his speech. "Is that the Webster version?"

"No, the Darcy one. If you want the Webster-"

"No, that's alright, Darce," Richard replied, putting his hands up as though shielding himself.

"What? Are you trying to protect yourself from knowledge?" Will mockingly asked.

"Yeah, ignorance is bliss, baby."

Meanwhile, Elizabeth took the opportunity to slide down in her seat. Suffice to say, her attempt to disappear from notice was utterly unsuccessful. (One might think it was a good thing to be noticed by Will Darcy but everyone has his or her priorities.)

"Is your head alright?"

"My h-head?" Liz spluttered. "What about it?"

"Well, it looked like you hit it pretty hard this morning."

"Oh." Her eyes wide and her throat dry.

"It didn't hurt too much, did it?"

"No, I did not head my hurt. I mean, I not did hurt my..." Liz closed her eyes. "Maybe a little."

"It's bruising," he said, bringing his fingers up to her hairline where her skin had purpled up. He touched it gently, his face close to hers. "You don't feel light-headed, do you?"

"Um...no," she replied after a long pause.

"Mr. Darcy, what grade do you have in this class?" Mrs. Bryant barked.

Will swiveled around and smiled. "An A, I believe."

"What percentage do you have?" she replied, her eyes narrow.

"Er, I don't know," he said, confusion making him look adorably cute and huggable.

"And why is that?"

"Because you haven't posted our grades yet," he retorted matter-of-factly.

"Well...in that case, I'll inform you right now." Mrs. Bryant pulled out her grade book and opened it forcefully. She scanned it for a few seconds before muttering 'Eureka!' "It looks like you, Mr. Darcy, have a..."

Her voice trailed off as she stared at the grade book. She suddenly snapped it close and glared at Will. All traces of smugness gone, only anger. "It doesn't matter what grade you have in this class. You should be paying attention, or at least, be pretending to pay attention, not flirting with Miss Bennet. The bell rang..."---she looked at her watch--- "almost three minutes ago. I expect more respect than that."

Will simply nodded while a few other students snickered. When Mrs. Bryant turned to the board, Hazel leaned towards him. "What crawled up her butt and died?"

Will simply shrugged in reply. He turned in his seat one more time to look at Liz but she refused to make eye contact. She found Mrs. Bryant's bald spot to be particularly interesting today and nothing could make her break her line of vision for the rest of the period.

Chapter 26 ~ Nursery Rhymes

Posted on Tuesday, 9 July 2002

Will was mildly surprised when he walked out of class and Marianne was nowhere in sight. It didn't really matter because it was Liz he wanted to talk to but she was nowhere in sight either. It seemed as though she made a mad dash out of Physics (which she did).

"Where's your girlfriend, Will? She's always waiting for you."

"I don't know. I guess she had something to do. Anyway, I'm proud of you, man," Will smiled as he clapped his companion on the back.

"For what?" Ed asked, confused.

"For what you did back there, with Elinor."

"Oh," Ed blushed. "I just thought I should move on. I mean, if she only wants me when she can't have John, then I'm not going to be her second fiddly-de-do."

"Er, I think it's just fiddle. But good for you."

"Yeah!" cried Ed, puffing out his chest and then running into a football player. "Sorry, so sorry about that. Um, what's up with Mrs. Bryant though?"

"Oh, that. I don't know," Will shrugged.

"Maybe she's jealous," Ed mused.

"What?"

"I bet that's it. She's jealous of your attentions to Liz."

"My attentions to Liz? What are you talking about? Liz and I are just friends."

"You two aren't even friends," Ed said with a laugh.

This caused Will to pause. Weren't he and Liz friends?"

"Hey stranger!"

Will started and turned to see Marianne on his arm.

"Oh, hey."

"Where were you?" she asked as she punched him on the shoulder. "Why didn't you wait for me?"

"I didn't know where you were."

"Well you should wait for me next time," she said with a fake pout, her lips thick with ruby red lipstick.

Will's eyebrows scrunched up as he looked at her. "When did you start wearing makeup?"

"When did I start? I've always worn makeup, silly," she replied with a giggle.

Will gave her a doubtful look but remained silent on the subject. He walked into Calculus feeling pensive. He didn't want to think. But then again, who wants to think? But what he really didn't want to think about was his girlfriend. But all those thoughts flew out of his head as soon as he took his seat behind Ed.

"Hey, listen to this, Will. James and I just figured this entire thing out." Ed flashed a confused Will a hand signal that resembled a Wu-Tang gang sign. "Do you dare to ask me if I care? Because I don't care about your hair, whether or not it's fair. We're no longer a pair and there are a lot of things we no longer share. Why not use some Nair and get rid of all your hair?"

"Wait, there's more!" James exclaimed when Will's eyes started to glaze over.

"Yeah, a lot more!" Ed chimed in. "How does the rest..."

"No, you really don't have to go on with the rest of it. I get the point!" Will shouted.

"But this is really good stuff," Ed insisted. He opened his mouth to begin again when the bell rang.

Relief swept through Will. An audible sigh escaped him and the clouds receded from his eyes.

James laughed at his friend's reaction. "This is far from over," he threatened.

Will grimaced in return. It was at this time that Marianne moved her desk back and next to Will's (as she had done every day since they pseudo-declared themselves a couple). She caught the look on his face and let flow from her Red-6 encased lips an entirely gag-worthy endearment, "Honey poo?"

Will stared at her without blinking. Then he shifted his gaze to his two friends. James looked disgusted and Ed merely shrugged his shoulders. He slowly turned back to Marianne again. "What did you say?" he asked cautiously.

"You look upset, munchkin. Is there anything wrong?"

This time, James was bent over, laughing his head off and Ed snorted before dissolving into silent laughter.

Will was not amused but nobody looked sexier than he did when he wasn't amused. His lips at a pout, his eyes dark and smoldering. Though, when he smiled, he looked even sexier because his eyes would light up and he had the cutest dimples. And he looked really, really sexy when he laid on the grass, staring at nothing at all with his hair tousled by the wind. Or when he was... oh yeah, back to the story...

"Er, nothing's wrong," Will lied. He leaned over so the guys wouldn't hear him. "Only...could you call me by my name?"

"Are you going to break up with me?" Marianne squeaked.

"What?" Will was puzzled. How did a request to be called by your name become translated into a break-up speech? "Marianne, I just want you to call me by my name."

Ed leaned backward and started chanting, "Oh, she may be fair, but sometimes your hair you want to tear. And you have to wonder how can you bear to be a pair. And you start to compare all the other..."

Will dropped his head and covered it with his arms. Suffice to say, his attempt to block out Ed's poetry, Marianne's endearments, and James' laughing was insufficient. <BR

Chapter 27 - And the Plot Thickens

Posted on Tuesday, 13 August 2002

We have digressed from the subject of running for quite some time, and while we are capable of entering into all sorts of venues, such as the romances of our main protagonist(s), we will remedy the neglect of long distance training at this time.

Due to the previous declaration, it would be no surprise to the reader that we find ourselves on the infield of the Netherfield track with the polo team. But I protest! It should be a surprise to the reader because the infield of a track would not be a sufficient location for the polo team. One has to ask himself or herself (to be grammatically and politically correct though that the latter has already been transgressed upon since the male pronoun appears before the female pronoun as opposed to appearing at the same place which would be literally impossible! Though special effects beyond my capability may be able to end our troubles but for now, I think we must accept that this sentence is simply politically incorrect and rather lengthy, no?) where are the horses to be stored? (Though I suppose one could use SUVs but then the dilemma of where all those vehicles would be stored within the field would be more problematic than horses.) And with the pole vault mat and the long and triple jump pits taking up half of the darn thing, where will one put the scoring posts? And most importantly, where are all the hot English guys in this story?? There are merely hot American guys with boring accents in "Dishwater."

Well, let us continue with the thickening of the plot without the polo team (sadly enough) but with the track team.

"This is a life or death matter! Need I remind you that Ro-"

"No!" exclaimed the entire track team, some in horror and some with a roll of their eyes. While they all had differing opinions of Coach Bennet (most of the distance team adored him for the tough love he showered them with while the rest of them were a little...well, peeved by his neglect...to put it lightly, they wanted to stick his head on a pole and use it as the passing baton), they all very much agreed with one another that he spoke of the rivalry between Rosings and Netherfield much too frequently. And I mean frequently. And I mean frequently. This guy spoke about it frequently. As frequently as he could. Which was like every second frequently. By the way, did I say frequently?

"Well, it sounds like you kids want to hear about it again!" he shouted over their moans and groans. "We have always been better than Rosings and that wrinkled smart-ass of a thing (and I say 'thing' because I assure you she's not human and she's certainly not a woman)..." Twenty minutes later... "But we haven't always shown that arrogant, conceited, rat-faced..." Thirty minutes later... "Since I've taken over this track team, a lot of things have been going right, such as..." Most of them had snuck off or dozed off by the time he reached this point of his speech. A few of them had gone to college and began a highly successful career that was completely unrelated to running and then, settled down, married, and had kids. "Next week, when we go head-to-head against Rosings, we're going to crush them like bugs, we're going to..."

Ed was curled up in a ball and sucking his thumb.

"It makes me want to punch him..." Chris muttered. "...and I will."

He punched Ed, who woke up with a start. "Mama! ...er, I mean, what's... going... on..., guys?"

Chazz choked back his laughter as he replied, "Well, we both missed a pretty eventful speech apparently. I slept up to the last ten minutes of it but I think Coach Bennet was mentioning something about Rosings, perhaps?"

"It's dark," Ed replied in a small voice.

"Don't worry, Ed. The Boogie Man won't get you," Chris said as placed a reassuring arm around his friend's shoulder. "But I may..."

Ed's eyes widen in true fear. "Don't even joke about that!" He blinked several times before his eyes could adjust to the coming twilight. "Hey, where's Darcy?"

"Oh sure...notice he's gone," Chris replied in a hurt tone.

"His girlfriend took him away," Hazel offered. Then, in a lower voice, muttered, "I wish I had a girlfriend who would take me away."

"Oh, do you?" Richard inquired, clearing intrigued.

Hazel looked Richard in the eye and smiled sweetly. Then she slapped him on the side of his head.

"Anyone up for a movie tonight?" James asked as he stood up.

"What about practice? We haven't even begun!"

"If you want to practice, Charles, go right ahead!"

Chazz shrugged. If no one else was going to practice, he wasn't going to either. They all started to walk up the stairs, toward the junior and senior lots. That is, until he noticed Liz wasn't following.

"I'll meet you guys later," he said, turning around. He ran back, waving his hands at Liz. "Hey, you're not coming?"

"Nah," she replied without looking up. Elizabeth continued working on her steps until finally, seeing that Chazz wasn't going to leave, said, "He expects us to be practicing."

"You mean, Coach Bennet?" he asked, confused.

"Yeah. He wastes our entire day, talking and talking about Rosings versus Netherfield and he doesn't even stay. He just expects us to continue on with practice."

"I know it must be frustrating..."

"I've become immune to it. Don't worry. It's just that-"

"Sometimes it gets to you."

"When I've had a bad day, yeah." Elizabeth looked up. "I love kicking the crap out of Rosings though."

"Yeah. And seeing de Bourgh's face twist up like a sour lemon when we do it," Charles replied with a laugh.

"You mean, Lady Catherine," she snorted, referring to the nickname the Netherfield team had given to the posh Rosings coach three years ago.

"Lady Dragon."

Elizabeth grinned. But it was a wicked grin. And Charles didn't understand it. But it was Charles. "Hey, Chazz...do you want to learn how to triple jump?"

"Er...sure."

Elizabeth showed him the steps. Right foot, right, left, land on both.

"Doesn't seem too hard," Chazz said, scratching his head. He took a running start and leaped off his right foot. Now, before we continue our narration of his triple jumping efforts, let us take a brief hiatus and observe some universally acknowledged truths about the male ego. As Charles is a male and being currently free from one Jane Bennet, presumed to have part of his residing ego participating in activity (after all, he hasn't gone crawling back to her...yet), we will assume that he will support such universally acknowledge truths. One: male ego wants to show off. Two: male ego will show off. Three: male ego will fail in its efforts. With that said, let us return to Chazz, who is in mid-flight. Having taken the leap off his right foot, he landed on it again. But being untrained in the arts of this particular event, his landing was slightly wobbly. But he continued anyway. Remember, desire to show off is sure to be followed by the act of doing so. He landed on his left and took a stumbling jump forward. His propulsion was off-balance and the force he put into such an off-balance propulsion caused him to fall forward after his awkward landing from his awkward jumping and it can be clearly stated that Charles Henry Bingley ate it. Our third truth, sufficiently fulfilled.

He pushed himself up on his elbows and started spitting the accumulation of sand he ate in eating it. Elizabeth was on floor, laughing her head off.

Chapter 28 - You Won't Get a Lemon

Posted on Saturday, 4 January 2003

April 21st, 2001, Mt. Sac Relays

"Your marks weren't half-bad."

"Thanks, Dad," Liz replied in monotone. She pulled off her spikes and wiggled her toes. She despised spikes. They were not made for people with wide feet.

"I hate spikes, don't you?" Will said as he sat down and pulled them out of his bag.

Liz stood up, startled by his presence. He arched an eyebrow at her sudden movement, causing her to become even more nervous.

"Er, those are interesting spikes," she said, reaching for them. "They are...er, blue on one side and white on the other."

Will nodded in confusion. What in the world did she mean by that? "Sort of like yours," he said slowly, pointing at the one shoe still on her feet. "Red on one side and white on the other..."

"Yeah, neat, huh?" she said quickly before dropping the spike and turning away.

Coach Bennet began talking to Will, saving Elizabeth from further embarrassment. Or so she thought. Lucy Steele sauntered over with Carol Orange (and yes, it is meant to be a cheesy allusion, metaphor and symbol). They were both sprinters and jumpers for the Rosings team and though Lucy, usually staring at guys on the sideline, wasn't very good, Carol had always been competition. Long-legged, sporting a fake orange (yes, also a cheesy allusion, metaphor and symbol) tan, and never caught breaking a sweat, Carol was always out for a victory. Of any kind.

"Eliza," Carol said with a fake smile. "It's so good to see you."

"And your friend over there," Lucy added with a giggle.

Elizabeth rolled her eyes. She hated it when Carol called her Eliza. How would she like it if she called her Car-O or Car or Arol or Stupid? Or Ugly or Rat-faced or...

While Liz was thinking of all the mean names she could possibly call Carol, the aforementioned Rosings duo found themselves occupied by the dashing sight of Will Darcy. They were disappointed, however, that their ostentatious display of their legs (which included the rolling of the shorts into the resemblance of Speedos) failed to capture his attention.

"Eliza."

Liz decided it was best not to acknowledge Carol.

"Eliza."

She held firm to that belief.

"Eliza," Carol continued to whine.

"What?!" she finally erupted.

"My goodness, Eliza, what's the matter with you?" She pursed her lips and added, "Your marks were better than usual today."

Liz narrowed her eyes. Why didn't Carol just add, Not as good as mine, to be sure, but still adequate. Oh, that was right...Carol couldn't say something like that because she probably didn't know what adequate meant.

"They weren't the best but I think they were suitable," she replied through gritted teeth.

"Suitable for third place. I got first, you know. Thirty-three, seven-and-a-half."

"Don't you have better things to do?" she snapped.

"Actually," Carol replied, licking her lips. "I do, but you'll have to introduce us."

"Excuse me?" Liz responded with a lift of her eyebrows. Anyone with eyes could see that Carol was eyeing Will like a hawk. But she wasn't about to make an introduction between her arch nemesis and her Will. Her Will? Oh crap...

As Liz collected her thoughts and tried to compose herself (despite the electricity that seemed to sizzle between herself and Will...okay, it was probably just body heat but her thoughts were not exactly coherent where he was concerned), Carol and Lucy made their own introductions.

"Are your legs tired?"

Carol frowned when he didn't reply. She repeated herself. He was still tying his shoe. Lucy finally cleared her throat and he looked up to find himself cornered by the two girls.

"Er, hello."

"I was just asking you if your legs were tired," Carol said with a sickly sweet smile.

"No, I haven't even raced yet."

"Oh, really? You've been racing through my mind all day."

Will and Liz grimaced simultaneously while Lucy interjected with, "But you just met him!"

Carol glared at her friend (and I use that term rather loosely) before returning her gaze to Will. "Don't you think it's time we've met?"

"Er, who are you?" asked a very confused Will.

"Carol Orange," she said, sitting in-between Liz and him. She held out her hand. To her surprise, he didn't take it. He merely looked at it and then, back at her.

"Hello." He then turned to Lucy and politely asked her for her name.

Lucy squealed with delight. Someone...some very hot one, as a matter of fact, overlooked Carol. Overlooked Carol and looked at her instead! Well, at the very least, we can allow her to think that. Will couldn't care less about either girl. They both seemed a little too silly and superficial for his taste. He bit the inside of his cheek as he thought of his girlfriend as he made his assessment of the pair. Not the type of association that one would want his or her significant other to make.

"I hear that you're Netherfield's leading man," Carol said as she put a hand on his thigh.

Will stood up with a grimace. "Not really. I mean, there's Richard and that's only the distance team we're talking about."

"Oh, I'm sure you're only being modest," Carol replied, also standing up now that he was.

Will didn't know what to do. He felt trapped. Or as though he was about to be set up in one.

Elizabeth, finding it funny that Will looked like a caged animal but sorry for him nonetheless, came to his rescue. "Will, shouldn't you be warming up about now?"

Will looked at Liz in confusion. His race didn't start for another two hours. "Um..."

"Oh, do you have to go already?" Carol whined.

"Yeah, we've just met you," Lucy added.

"Yes. I have to go," he responded mechanically.

"What event are you running? We'll be sure to cheer for you," Carol interjected.

"Er...I don't remember. But thanks." Will gave the Rosings girls the most apologetic look he could manage at the moment. (It looked like a grimace.) He smiled slightly at Liz, took off...and tripped over the bleachers and ran into the railing.

Liz grimaced while Lucy cried, "Oh, thank goodness it's not the face."

Before anyone could rush to his help, he signaled for them to stay where they were. "I'm alright," he managed before he ran off again, a little more cautious about where he was going.

"He's kind of a dork," Carol said with a pout.

"Sort of reminds you of Ed Ferrars," Lucy said dreamily.

Both Liz and Carol seized at the thought. Ed Ferrars was by no means a Will Darcy. They looked at each other with disgusted expressions contorting their features. Then, realizing that they actually agreed with one another on a subject, they turned and ran away from each other with a little shriek.

Liz happened to run and shriek straight into Hazel Lee.

Taking her by the shoulders, Haze put a halt to Liz's frantic behavior. "What are you doing?"

"I don't know how it happened. I just don't know! But...I came into agreement with Carol Orange," Liz whimpered.

"What?!"

"I know!" Liz whined.

"This calls for some serious junk food."

"7-Eleven?"

"Of course," Hazel replied, giving her friend a comforting hug.

"Can I have the Super Big Bite?" Liz asked the man behind the counter.

"I'll just have the regular, thanks," Hazel added before turning to her friend. "Do you want to head back right now or just sit on the curb and eat?"

"Though I enjoy taunting everyone who hasn't finished their events, maybe we can scarf them down right now and then watch the rest of the meet. I want to cheer Kitty on. I can't believe you guys managed to convert her into a distance runner," Liz said, shaking her head.

"Well, you have to admit, there are a lot of incentives for a young girl in the world of long distance. James Wallace, Richard Fitzwilliam, Charles Bingley, John Willoughby-"

"John Willoughby?!" cried an appalled Elizabeth.

"What about John Willoughby?" Hazel asked as she selected relish for her hot dog.

"You just implied that John was...well, worth something."

"Did I?" replied an equally horrified Hazel. She ate some relish to calm herself down. "I must have started naming the entire team. I think I need to add some cheese to this. Cheese always help."

The girls commenced piling on various condiments and animal lard onto their animal lard...er, hot dogs. Hazel sprinkled on onions and added a strip of cheese. She grabbed packets of ketchup and mustard and stuffed tomatoes and relish into the side of the bun. Liz simply drowned her hot dog in cheese and chili before grabbing random items and completing her masterpiece. Forks and plenty of napkins in hand, they paid for their food and sat down to eat it in a way that paid ample tribute to shot putters.

After they were finished, they bought slurpies and returned to the meet. They watched Kitty run the mile at a respectable time of 6:03. Jane finished in third place at 5:36, her times improving as her time away from Chaz increased. After the girls completed their cool-down, they joined Liz and Haze on the sideline.

"Oooh, slurpies!" Kitty squealed, grabbing the refreshment from Liz's hand.

"Your welcome," she said with a wry smile.

"What flavor is this?"

"The yellow is banana, the red is cherry, the blue is blueberry, I think, and that brown stuff is Coke," Elizabeth replied as she pointed at the swirl of colors.

"Coke, as in Coca-Cola?"

"Yeah, Coke as in Coca-Cola."

"Ewww...." Kitty nearly tossed the drink back to Liz before she spit the offensive soda slush on the ground.

"Oh, c'mon," Liz lamented before rolling her eyes in Jane's direction. "Don't tell me you got her into this too!"

"Got her into what? Not drinking soda?" Jane frowned at her cousin. "You know, you should try it yourself. You're not missing much and it's good for you. Who needs the extra caffeine?"

Liz arched an eyebrow. "Are you actually lecturing me on my daily intake of caffeine? If I remember correctly, you visit Starbucks...how many times a day?"

"That doesn't mean I always buy a white chocolate mocha frappuccino with a shot of espresso and extra whipped cream every time I go in there," Jane shot back. "There happens to be a guy who works there..."

Hazel nodded, not really interested in the conversation. She liked the different colors that would present itself every time she spit.

When Liz finally noticed that Hazel would drink her slurppie to the brink of a painful brain-freeze like any normal adolescent but then, spit it on the floor, she queried (not merely asked but actually, made a query, showing her avid interest or perhaps fulfilling a morbid curiosity because with Hazel Lee, it was always morbid curiosity), "What are you doing?"

"Spitting," Haze replied matter-of-factly.

"But why?"

"What color do you think I'll spit out next?"

"I don't know!" Liz exclaimed.

"Exactly! Neither do I. It's a mystery every time."

"Can't you taste it?" Kitty asked in confusion. Kitty knew that Hazel was well...but she really didn't know.

"Well..." she began before Will bumped into her.

"Sorry," he muttered, pushing through them.

"What's wrong with him?"

"He had a bad race," Kitty replied with a shrug.

"A bad race?!" Jane snorted. "He had a horrendous race. I don't know what happened but I think you guys," she continued, turning to Liz and Hazel, "missed the burn-out of the century."

Hazel paused in mid-spit and pulled up to wipe her mouth with a sleeve. "What?"

"2:19."

"What?!"

"That's what everyone has been saying. You should've seen the look on Catherine de Bourg's face. I wanted to slap that smug-"

Elizabeth did not hear the rest of Jane's speech. William Andrew Darcy was walking away at an angry pace and she intended to follow him.

Chapter 29 - At the Stars

Posted On: Sunday, 26 January 2003, at 12:56 p.m.

Will considered himself a cross-country runner at heart. He was a good track runner, a better track runner than a cross-country runner perhaps, but he never considered track as anything more than training for the next season of true distance running. But it still hurt. It hurt to know that poor performance could mean poor performance later, and it hurt to know that all the effort that he put into running was all for naught. Not to mention his knee felt like it had been hit was a sledgehammer.

He grabbed his bag from the stands, ignoring words of comfort and obligatory 'good job's, and headed out of the stadium. He passed by the trainer and got a bag of ice. He could've gone home; his Mustang was across the street, in the lot but he turned left instead. He walked along the curb, and turned down a badly paved road. It led to one of the toughest courses in the nation, the legendary Mt. Sac course.

He walked to the intersection of two major marks on the course: the base of a steep 200 incline known as Poop Out and the bottom of Reservoir, which denoted the final 800 meters left in the race. He began jogging up the back of Reservoir despite the pain it inflicted upon his knee. He favored his left leg because of it and leaned to his left as he collapsed at the crest of the hill.

Rolling up his pants from the ankle cuff, he exposed a shapely leg (yes, the authoress realizes that shapely isn't the conventional terminology when one refers to a man's leg but she's just trying to be funny). He placed the ice over his knee and pulled out his headphones.

Standing in the rain, a broken window pane
The raindrops fall upon my head
Nothing left to do, repetition's turned me blue
And all my thoughts are dead

Will wanted to forget everything at the moment, especially the race. But he couldn't help thinking about it, thinking that if he pushed himself harder, through the pain, through the... He laid on his back and looked at the darkening sky.

I can see for miles in every direction
I can see your hell in your reflection

Elizabeth kicked Will lightly. He sat up in surprise and pulled off his headphones.

"Hey, there," she said with a nervous smile.

"Hi," Will responded, trying to give her his most winning smile but failing.

"Sorry I missed your race," she began as she took a seat next him.

"Glad that you did," Will muttered.

A tense silence ensued. Elizabeth started drawing patterns in the dirt. In her peripheral vision, she saw Will pulling his headphones back up.

"What are you listening to?"

Will grinned. "Guess."

Elizabeth shook her head, refusing to make a fool of herself by trying to solve the mystery that was William Darcy.

He poked her. "Guess." When she shook her head again, he poked her again. "It's an easy one."

"I don't know!" Elizabeth cried in consternation. "RX Bandits?"

Will smiled and handed her headphones over to her.

I can see you with your back to the wall
I will be there when you finally fall
Nothing witty seems to come to mind
You can't weasel out this time
I can see you with your back to the wall
Cornered with your back to the wall

"Cornered," Elizabeth said proudly.

"It's one of my favorite songs."

She was about to agree with him but stopped herself. What am I? His shadow? "I prefer What If."

"Noted," he said with a grin that faded quickly. "You're missing the end of the meet."

"You've been having a lot of problems with your knee," she countered softly.

"It's serviceable." He made a show of bending it, hoping she didn't hear the cracking of his kneecap. "See?"

"You're a really good runner, Will. You should take care of that knee."

"Sometimes you need to make sacrifices for what you want," Will said, standing up. He offered her a hand, smiling down at her and cracked, "Sorry. I didn't mean to sound so trite."

She placed her hand in his and smiled. "I actually love clichés. It's sort of a guilty pleasure."

"Guilty pleasure?"

"Hey, don't laugh! I just bared a part of my soul to you."

"Did you? Then I'll refrain from laughing but I have to admit that your soul humors me."

"My soul humors you?" she replied in a mixture of confusion and amusement.

"Indeed it does, so don't be embarrassed about your guilty pleasure. It...brings light into my world."

"Was that supposed to be a cliché?" Elizabeth laughed.

"I don't know," Will said with a shake of his head. "How about I try again?"

"Okay, go for it." Elizabeth crossed her arms over her chest and arched her eyebrows at him.

"You don't think I can do it," William accused.

"I'm just waiting to be completely 'wowed' by your cliché. C'mon, William Andrew Darcy, wow me with your triteness."

William grinned and stepped closer to her. Elizabeth almost stepped back but decided to retain her position. Why should she be scare of him anyway? Just because the mere sight of him made her uneasy. Just because she wanted to run away from him as much as she wanted to run straight into his arms. Just because...

"Yours eyes are beautiful."

Elizabeth almost averted her gaze but she was somehow mesmerized by his dark eyes. "Is that it?" she replied, hoping that her voice didn't sound as shaky as the rest of her. "Is that the best you can do?"

"They're as clear as the night sky, but you can't read them. You can see the stars twinkling in that dark blanket but you don't really understand it but it's incredible to see them light up anyway," he continued without really thinking about what he was saying. "Are those stars your soul shining through?"

"I don't think I've heard that one before," Elizabeth breathed. She looked at the floor. "I'm not saying that I don't like it...I mean, I like it...I mean, it was good. Real good..."

"Liz?"

"Yeah."

"Was there ever something you really wanted to do but knew you shouldn't?"

"Of course."

"What do you really want to do right now but you know..."

"Uh..." Elizabeth knew what she wanted to but she shouldn't do. She felt it. But she wouldn't allow herself to acknowledge it. She couldn't. She allowed her mind to go into a blank. It was the safest thing to do. Utter blank. Utter blank. "Utter blank."

"Excuse me?"

"Uh..." Did I just say 'utter blank' out loud?

"Liz..." Will paused. He really shouldn't. He really shouldn't. "I want to...."

"Yes?"

"I would really like to..."

"Uh huh?" she asked eagerly.

"Run down this hill at full speed and scream. And maybe at the end of it, tumble down. Just let myself fall and lie at the bottom of it."

"Oh..." That was certainly not what she expected. There was a moment, wasn't there? Elizabeth stared at him. There was a moment! Or was it just her? "There was a moment," she asserted quietly to herself.

"Yeah..."

"Excuse me?" Elizabeth's unfocused gaze at Will snapped into a more clarified view of the guy in front of her. He was grinning slightly, almost sadly really.

"Are you going to let me embarrass myself alone?" he asked quietly.

"Um, no..." Elizabeth replied, not entirely following their conversation.

Only after he grabbed her hand and began running down the hill did she understand what he was doing. She tried to resist but he was holding her tightly, practically dragging her with him, and already screaming at the top of his lungs. Elizabeth gave up and joined him. They ran as fast as they could and at the last turn, they tumbled down the dirt and at the base, laid there for a moment before laughter enveloped them completely.

"You're an idiot!" Elizabeth screamed as she playfully hit him.

"Shhhh!!" he said, still shaking with laughter. "Just stop."

"What?"

"Just stop and look at the stars," he said, looking into her eyes. "Aren't they beautiful?"

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