Now And Through The Years

By Ally M.

Posted on Saturday, 7 August 2004

"Oh come on, Darce! It will only be for a couple of hours and I promise you will have a good time!" It was the last game for the Pemberley University women's basketball team, and Charles Bingley was urging his friend to attend with him. "You know you may not get another opportunity."

"I don't know, I could always come back," Darcy replied, but his friend gave him a bit of a skeptical look. He didn't really like going to school sponsored events, the huge crowds often made him queasy. And anyway, he wanted to spend the last few weeks in familiar territory in his own peaceful way. The times were changing and he wanted to embrace whatever he could, and his idea of a good time was definitely not what Charles was proposing.

His last weeks back home. Just thinking about it really brought the reality back to him. It was 1952 and he had just been drafted into the army to fight in Korea. Charles had gotten out because of a broken leg he had sustained while playing in an intramural football game. On the whole, Darcy was a bit envious of his friend.

"Please! It's only for a couple of hours!"

"But you know how I am at social events! Why don't we just do something quiet, like go to the coffee shop or something?"

"Will!" Bingley groaned. "Let's do something different tonight! Let yourself go for just a bit, it won't hurt!"

Darcy heaved a resigned sigh. Although his friend usually deferred to his advice, Will knew that when Charles stuck his mind to something, there was no dissuading him. Reconciled, he said, "Fine, Charles, but the only reason I'm doing this is because you're forcing me," though Bingley wasn't listening.

"I'll see you at seven then! I'll come pick you up!" Charles ran out to his Ford coupe and sped off back to his apartment.

Darcy sighed and prepared to ready himself to the night's events. He took the steps of Kokernott Hall two at a time up to his room. Rummaging through his drawers, he picked out a casual, yet good looking pair of jeans and a t-shirt. The clock on the wall showed it to be 6:30, so Darcy sat down and breathed deeply.

He was worried. For his sister, for himself, for the family company, for his entire life in America. His draft term started at the end of the month, and there was still so much to work out before his going. Georgie was going to stay with their aunt and uncle Fitzwilliam, but he was still nervous. She relied on him so much, and leaving a nine year old who looked up to you as almost a father for an indefinite period of time was not his definition of a shoulder to lean on.

And the company. The one that his father had worked so hard to build from the ground. He had worked hard on it in joint agreement with his uncle ever since his father passed away. William had decided that it would probably be best in the hands of his elder cousin, Richard. Richard had proved himself to be a good businessman, but no matter who was in charge, Darcy would always be wary of anyone's work besides his own.

Of his own material possessions he was barely concerned. He had rented an apartment in the town, Lambton, which surrounded Pemberley. The rent had been paid for a full year and a half, so he had plenty of leverage in case his term was extended. Everything except for the bare essentials had been moved from this dorm room to that apartment last week.

He sipped at a glass of water and turned to stare out of the window.

It was the summer, so night had not quiet fallen yet, and traces of the sun could still be seen on the horizon. If only he could spend every day looking at the sun this way from this very window. But soon, the sun would be a foreign one. He would not be able to look at it and know that Georgiana was doing the same. It was a disturbing thought, and managed to occupy his mind until he heard the honking of a horn beneath his window. Recognizing it as Charles's, he grabbed his keys and jogged down the staircase to the car below.

They arrived at the gymnasium with thirty minutes to spare before tip-off. Charles and William collected their tickets and sat down, their seats fortunately being fairly close to the floor. A couple of men were finishing dusting the court when the first lady for the Pemberley team stepped onto the floor.

There was truly nothing spectacular about the girl's features, she was actually rather plain. But when a greasy young man from the stands stood up in the stands and yelled down to her, "I love you, Charlotte!" an angry and embarrassed, yet becoming blush overset her features.

The rest of the team soon filed in as the opponents, a school known as Hartfield, started shooting on the side of the court opposite their bench. Darcy looked at Charles, and discovered him to be entranced with something down on the court. He followed his friend's gaze and found it resting on a tall, willowy blonde who was practicing her lay-ups and post moves. Her features were striking, and held a sweetness in them that one would not normally expect to find in a serious college athlete.

But then, glancing past the object of his friend's admiration, Darcy found himself looking into the shockingly golden-brown eyes of one of Pemberley's wing players. He caught her eye for only a moment before her focus returned to the rim and she swished a free throw.

Darcy watched her intently throughout the warm-up, admiring her quick moments and her fine skills. She was not tall in the least; to be honest she was probably a good six inches shorter than her teammates. But what she lacked in size, she made up for in skills. Watching her weave her way easily through her teammates was like watching a dance. She never wavered, never questioned her own decisions. This went on for some time, but a couple of minutes later he was rudely awakened by a buzzer signifying for the teams to get ready to start the first quarter.

The game began, and Darcy reluctantly turned his attention to the play which was going on. For some reason his mind kept switching back to stare at the young lady who had quickly gained his favor even before any kind of introduction.

He attempted to conceal his interest in her by looking at other parts of the gym. He glanced at Charles and realizing he was trying for no such mask to hide his true feelings. Chuckling, Darcy turned back to his business of watching the girl on the court. What he did not know however, was that Bingley was a bit more cognizant of events happening that night than one would usually expect. Indeed, he smiled to himself and made a mental note of the girl with the dark, curly hair and bright eyes.

Both of the men continued on in this vein until the final buzzer was struck and Pemberley was declared the victor. The stands erupted, and the ladies down on the court congratulated each other on their victory.

William quickly stood up and nearly rushed down the stairs to try and catch the girl before she left through the doors to the locker room. As can be expected, Charles was right on his heels, though his inspiration was quite different from his friend's. As he ran, Darcy could see the brunette talking with the blonde at the far side of the court. The two girls smiled at each other, and he saw her walk away, while the object of Charles's affection was walking towards them. William picked up his pace and was at the rails when her wavy ponytail whipped out of the gym.

"Hey!" he yelled stupidly towards the locker room, hoping she might hear him and turn back. He waited for an entire minute, but she didn't return, and he felt an emptiness and longing inside him that he would have thought impossible for a mere stranger. He grasped the railing with his hands and bent over a bit forward, at first contemplating jumping over it, but then becoming cognizant of the ample amounts of attention he was receiving from the other spectators and came back to reality.

He breathed out slowly, chiding himself for being so foolish and impulsive. Surely it was just a passing infatuation, because heck! He didn't even know her! He laughed a little at himself and turned back to look at Charles, and realized for the first time that his friend was nowhere in sight. Roving the stadium with his eyes, he could not place him, but looking back to where he had just come from he found Charles leaning over the railing about twenty feet from him trying to talk to the blonde that had so caught his attention earlier.

Sighing, William caught his friend's attention for just a moment and signaled that he was heading back to the car. Charles just nodded, and then turned back to the bewitching talk of the girl.

It was almost ten o' clock when the two men finally got back to their respective dorms, both of their heads filled with thoughts of a different woman. Darcy knew that he would probably never see her again, but even if he did, a pretty girl like her probably already had a boyfriend. Those thoughts were satisfactory enough to allow him to sleep that night without too much turmoil.

The next few weeks before his departure were very quiet for William. Small 'going away' dinner parties with friends and quiet evening spent at home listening to old swing music on 45's. He got out from time to time, but his main object in doing so (although he would not admit it to himself) was not to break himself of anxiousness or cabin fever, but to perhaps once again stare into those golden-brown eyes that he had glimpsed only once. Every night he went to bed trying to convince himself that she meant nothing to him, but every night his last thought was, I want to see her again...

From a distance Charles watched his friend become even more reserved and reticent than normal, and fought himself to keep the information he knew under wraps. It is all for the best. It would only hurt him if he knew about her. Ever since that fateful night at the Pemberley women's game, Charles had been dating Jane Bennet, the tall, almost lanky blonde player that he had watched from the sidelines. He of course knew that the short, brown-haired girl that William had also admired was Jane's sister, Elizabeth. But unfortunately, it didn't look like things would work out quite as well for his friend in his pursuit it had for him.

Rain, fog, and drizzle just a week after the last term ended saw the departure of William Darcy from America. As he climbed aboard the Hum-V donning his standard issue infantry uniform, he caught sight of Charles's face in the departure crowd. He called out to him, and slowly Bingley struggled his way through the crowd.

"I will expect some letters from you, Charles! Don't think that an ocean will prevent me from pestering you!" His cheery voice disguised from many the true turmoil of his inner heart, but his best friend since childhood could easily see through him.

"Don't worry Will," came his response reassuringly, "You will be the one wanting to get rid of me by the end of all this."

William smiled at his friend's playful modesty and assured him that this would never be the case. Just then the final bell rang for all remaining men to get in their places, and he and Bingley broke off their conversation. Realizing that any more attempt to talk to his friend were futile, Charles stepped back and put his hand across his brow to block the sun streaming through the few clouds above.

He was just turning around, preparing himself for the journey ahead when he heard his name being called by the one person he most wished to see at that moment. "Wills! Wills!" cried Georgiana as she jumped out of a car and came running up to hug him fiercely. "What were you thinking, trying to leave without saying goodbye to me?" was all she could mumble into the lapel of his jacket.

Holding her out just a little ways so he could get a good look at her he smiled, "Well, I couldn't very well ask for a refund and the next jet could I?" His face became serious again, "But I'm very glad that you could make it. I don't have much time, but please be safe, and know that I love you. I'll try to write and talk to you as often as I can, alright?"

Georgiana nodded, but a couple of tears escaped her and rolled down her cheek and she once again buried her face into her brother's jacket. They stood there, embraced until a bell sounded and a military man was heard shouting for the men to get on board.

They let go of each other and William leaned down to give his sister a kiss on the cheek before tousling her hair a bit and saying his final goodbyes. Turning around, he made his way away from his sister.

William let a long stream of breath out which calmed his rising nerves somewhat. He stepped up the ramp and into the Boeing which would then fly him to a small base in a godforsaken end of the earth that he would call home for the next year of his life. His family pictures would be his only reminders of a life back home.

The first month was difficult for Will. Adjusting to new surroundings, and the physical training and stress from hours spent on duty were slowly wearing him down. But his distress went far deeper than merely a physical distraction, it cut to his core emotions and mental state. He had never before realized exactly how much the support of his close friends and family really meant to him before that moment. Of course he still made monthly calls to Georgie, Charles, and Richard to see what the goings-on back home and with the company were, but that certainly was not the same. He didn't have the cheery optimism of Bingley, the affectionate adoration of his little sister, and the gentle teasing and jarring of his favorite cousin to guide him through each day.

But though no matter how hard he tried to focus his attention on those three, there was always a fourth party that stood silently in the background, and seemed to taunt him at every turn. Her golden-brown eyes seemed etched delicately in his minds eye, and at some times during the day he could not be blind to them any longer. He kept telling himself that it was unrealistic and foolish to dream for someone whom he knew nothing about. She is probably just another gaggling girl wishing to hang off my arm and show me off to all of her friends as a prize, just like every other female out there, he kept telling himself. But there was a nagging at the back of his mind that told him that this was not the case; that this girl was special, and at the end of it all, the amount of sheer contemplation of her had merely increased his fascination!

'Twas a hopeless business.

He suffered thus all the way through his second month in his year-long draft term. His correspondents back home could tell that something was a bit awry, but the just attributed it to the war. At one point Charles had a fleeting idea that it might have something to do with Elizabeth, but threw it out as quickly as it had come in, believing it to be utterly impossible. And things were going so well with Jane that all thoughts of William's troubles deserted him the second he set down the phone.

Such was the day when William Darcy finally decided to put a little of his pride aside and talk to Bingley of his daily torture. He sought out the camp phone and waited until the man in front of him had finished before rushing over and quickly dialing Bingley's apartment number. It rang twice before his friend picked up. "Charles Bingley," said the easy voice at the other end.

"Charles!" William burst, unable to contain himself any longer. After an exclamation of surprise by Charles, William continued, "Do you happen to remember that basketball game that we both went to just before I got shipped?" Following the positive reply at the other end, he continued, now the words coming a bit harder to him, "I know that you were completely enamored by that 'angel', but, well, do you happen to remember the shorter guard with the brown hair that played such an excellent game?" He couldn't yet bring himself to say 'The girl that had caught my attention', but that was good enough.

Charles smiled at the end of the line knowing exactly what was going through Darcy's head. But that smile quickly changed itself into a frown at the knowledge of what he was going to have to impart. "Yes, I know her quite well, she's my girlfriend' sister. Why?" Bingley knew, of course, but he was still holding onto that shred of hope that maybe he wouldn't have to dash his best friend's wishes.

"Uh, well, I was thinking that maybe when I got back home I could take her out for dinner or something," he managed to get out. But when he heard a gloomy sigh from his friends his guard was immediately put up.

"I was hoping that I wouldn't have to do this to you, but I have to tell you; she is engaged to a handsome fellow from downtown named George Wickham. The wedding is next June, the week before you come back, I believe. I'm sorry, Will."

The blow hit William like a dagger to his back. Never had he even thought to think that maybe she was taken by some other man. How stupid of him! And he didn't even have the chance to win her since he would be stuck in this damned position for the whole of her engagement! But even so, he still had to know one thing; "Bingley, you didn't mention her name. Please, at least tell me that!"

His voice held such a tone of desperation that Charles didn't have the heart to refuse him this simple request. "Bennet, her name is Elizabeth Bennet."

Elizabeth , he mentally pronounced. Never had a name so common sounded so beautiful to him before. But then he shook himself and was quickly reminded that his hopes were all in vain. This Wickham must be a lucky devil to be getting a girl as nice as her. But the time had come and he had to finally rid his mind of her. "I'm sure you have some important work to do tonight, I'll let you go," he sighed. After exchanging a farewell, both men hung up and returned to their daily routines with slightly gloomier miens.

The rest of his term ended in the same, uneventful way, with minimal skirmishing which was quite agreeable to everybody. As he had figured out very early on, he was unable to banish thoughts of Elizabeth, and merely resigned himself to never being able to see her as his own. It was easier for him that way. In his conversations with Bingley there seemed to be an unspoken agreement to avoid that topic of gossip.

It was the day he was to leave the hell of battle and fly back home to the little town of Lambton which was home to Pemberley College. William mentally kicked himself when his mind began to trail on the fact that Elizabeth would be a married woman the next time he would see her, if there was a next time.

For the most of the trip he was able to expel these images as he participated in playful banter with the other draftees aboard. It was a nice feeling, and he felt that maybe he was finally coming to terms with the whole affair. And anyways, what was all this thought towards? As he had mentioned to himself numerous times before, he hadn't even met the girl. He was setting her up on a platform of perfection that would be near impossible for any real woman to achieve. It was easily possible that when they met he would not even like her in the slightest, no matter how slim that chance may be.

The plane landed at eleven that night and Will hailed a taxi to take him back to the apartment he had taken in Lambton. He made the mandatory call to his sister to tell her that he had made it home safely, but had not had the energy to stay up and converse with her. He quickly undressed and flopped into bed, pulling the string on the lamp that sat next to him. Without another thought, he fell into an exhausted and troubled sleep.

The night did not seem to last long for William and he awoke almost as tired as he had fallen asleep the night before. Resigning himself to the fact that he wouldn't get back to sleep, he started getting ready at a painfully slow rate. The shower finally aroused him, and by the time he was dressed he was almost back to his normal self.

The air outside was crisp and cool for a summer's day, and Will decided that an early walk was probably exactly what he needed before he got back into his almost forgotten daily routine. He relished in the freedom of being able to walk the American city streets in civilian clothes, a pleasure that had disappeared with his departure for Korea. He turned a corner and decided that a visit to Charles would be in order, and that this time was as good as any. Charles's apartment was only a couple blocks from his current position, so he mere changed his direction and started off towards ---- street.

And that was when he saw her.

Her brown ponytail bobbed up and down behind her as she walked. Even after over a year of separation from a girl he had only seen once, and at a distance at that, he could still recognize her without any doubt in his mind. But then his throat tightened and he had to swallow several times before he regained his composure. She could never be his. By this time she would be married that Wickham man and he had no chance to fight for her. He repressed this thought as she came into range for speaking. He cleared his throat which caught her attention and then started in a somewhat tinny voice, "Excuse me Miss, I don't believe that you remember me, but I saw you play basketball about a year ago." He fidgeted and mentally berated himself for being unable to come up with anything more creative than that.

She smiled, a slight blush oversetting her features; "Now that's where you are quite wrong, I remember you quite clearly. You were sitting with Charles a few rows up from the railing weren't you? He has talked about you; your name is William, isn't it?"

William's eyes opened with surprise. Never in all his pondering had he ever considered that maybe she had noticed him at that basketball game as well. His lips turned up a little at the ends, still quite nervous, "Yes and yes. I'm William Darcy. And Charles has also talked about you before, well, as soon as he finishes raving about how wonderful your sister is." Here he let a real, albeit small and anxious smile poke through. "He says your name is Elizabeth Bennet," his voice sank here, "or rather Elizabeth Wickham now. I would like to give you my congratulations on your recent wedding. I understand that it was just within the past week." William struggled to keep any semblance of cheerfulness on his face, but his emotions soon turned to bewilderment as he observed a slightly puzzled expression on her face which soon turned to understanding.

"Well, yes, I suppose that the wedding was supposed to be a couple of days ago, but I called it off a little under a month ago due to some...issues I was having with my fiancé. Didn't Charles tell you about that?"

"I haven't called Bingley in a little over a month, so that probably explains it." Although it didn't carry over into his words, the delight and relief he found at this simple confession was keenly felt in his heart, and slightly sketched on his face. Elizabeth caught this look and let on a small smile that conveyed her own relief at the situation.

As his heart was doing somersaults, his head was in a quandary about what to do next. But in the end it seemed as though his head had no say over the matter and his mouth took over on impulse; "I know we have just met, but do you feel that you might be up to dinner this Friday night?" His voice conveyed all the apprehension that he felt at this declaration.

"Well," said Elizabeth, "I think I have a basketball practice that night, but," she saw the look of disappointment on his face and decided to take pity on him, "I believe that I can get out a little early and meet you around eight. Is that alright with you?"

The smile that had been creeping up his face before now broke out without much restraint. "Perfect," he said with feeling. I was just about to visit Charles as a matter of fact, do you think you would like to join me, or have you just come from there?"

"Well actually, he and Jane have gone out for an early breakfast date this morning, and so you won't find him at the apartment. Mine and my sister's apartment is just beyond his, so that's where I was coming from. It's just my customary walk"

"Then perhaps we would walk together, considering my plans were identical?" he offered hopefully.

Her golden eyes glittered. "I believe I would like that very much, William. Where shall we go?" She slipped her hand shyly into his and looked up to seek his permission only to see pure happiness reflected within the depths of her eyes.

"It doesn't matter, as long as you are with me." And with that they both strolled down the street, the slowly rising sun to their backs. Never before had each one felt so connected and safe with another person as they felt that dawn.

Finis

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