Brave New World of Toil and Trouble ~ Section I

By Beth M

Beginning, Next Section

Posted on Wednesday, 7 May 2008

Part One - London, February 1808

Chapter 1 - Innocent Abroad

Elizabeth Bennet sat on the edge of her seat. She leaned out and held tight to the rail of the theatre box. She was totally focused on the stage below. Her eyes sparkled and she unconsciously licked her lips like she was savoring something delicious. Her face was a panoply of emotions - smiles of delight, merry giggles, hearty laughs and occasionally she would even pant slightly with anticipation and intense pleasure. She was mesmerized by the performance of Shakespeare's The Tempest. Elizabeth had read the play numerous times and knew much of the dialogue. She had been thrilled when Lady Hughes, a school friend of her Aunt Gardiner, suggested she and her aunt and uncle join her and Lord Hughes for this performance.

One moment Elizabeth shivered in horror at the portrayal of Caliban and the next she was curiously drawn to him. She laughed at the drunken antics of Trinculo and Stephano but most of all she identified with Miranda. The actress playing Miranda was small in stature and had long chestnut curls like Elizabeth. Lizzy pondered Mr. Bennet's similarity to Miranda's father Prospero. Mr. Bennet had few expectations of Elizabeth but those he had she felt duty bound to honor. She should remain chaste and not be too silly. Like Prospero, Mr. Bennet never explained his past, the causes of his lackluster marriage and the families' precarious economic situation in the event of his demise. He owned a prodigious library and allowed Lizzy to learn things that many other young women did not know but she had no idea how to apply the knowledge or how it helped her in her quest to remain chaste and escape silliness. She smiled as she remembered her father teaching her French while reading Perrault's fairy tales at five. Le Petit Chaperon Rouge or Little Red Riding Hood contained the essence of her understanding of remaining chaste. Stay away from the big bad wolf.

Her father's small estate, Longbourne in Hertfordshire was beginning to make her feel confined. She wanted something more but could not put her finger on what she desired. She wasn't sure she wanted to rush into marriage just to please her mother and guarantee her economic security. Being in London and experiencing its diversions was at least allowing her to see other possibilities.

In December when Elizabeth turned fifteen, her mother began pressuring her to come out in the local, Meryton society and of course start the hunt for a husband. In Hertfordshire, she had chafed at her mother's obsession with marriage but watching the performance she wondered whether there was a Ferdinand for her. Was she being silly when she dreamed of loving someone intensely? She could envision herself gazing on him with wonder as Miranda did. He would love her with extreme fervor and free her from the mundane life of gossip, embroidery and the four and twenty families that were Meryton society. The scenes between Ferdinand and Miranda caused Elizabeth to get a dreamy, far away look on her face.

The reality was that Mr. Bennet unlike Prospero knew no magic and Elizabeth was never going to become acquainted with or loved by a prince or even an earl. A baronet was a possibility. If Tom had not died, Jane would have married a baronet. Wasn't she right now in the box of Lord Hughes who was a baronet?

Even though she would miss her long walks in the country, she could imagine a marriage like the Gardiners' with a house in town and access to London's cultural wealth. She would like being mother to lively, well behaved, attractive, intelligent children. A husband in trade with a prosperous business would definitely be tolerable. Her aunt and uncle seemed loving and content unlike her own parents.

Mr. Bennet locked himself in his library and seemed to take no responsibility for his children's conduct or future. His pleasure came from his books, his port, his tobacco and his delight in making sly, cynical comments about the foibles of his family and friends. Deriding Mrs. Bennet and her nerves seemed to be one of his main sources of enjoyment. Lizzy had often found her mother exasperating and had developed a closeness with her father. He had taught her to read at three, play chess at four and over the years they had spent hours reading and playing chess together in his library. Sometimes they read to each other and often would discuss what they read. Lately Lizzie read almost exclusively to her father as his eyesight diminished with age. More and more he relied on her to help him with accounts and correspondence.

Mrs. Bennet's one goal in life was to see all five of her daughters married. This single-minded pursuit did not seem to give her much pleasure as she was always complaining about her nerves. Mrs. Bennet's nerves and her vexation with the unmarried state of her daughters even though most of them were too young to be married was one of the major sources of Mr. Bennet's entertainment. Mr. Bennet's estate was entailed on the male line and when he died his wife and daughters would have no security.

Mrs. Bennet had developed her obsession with marriage soon after her fifth daughter was born and it only became more urgent after the death of their neighbor's son. She had hoped to be blessed with a male child and later was sure Master Trent would marry Jane and ensure some security. At least once a day since Tom's death, she reminded her daughters of the need to make advantageous matches and they heard their mother's admonition of their father, “How can you laugh at that which makes me weep?” Lizzy appreciated her father's humor but as she became more knowledgeable about estate business she concluded that her mother's concerns were real and should not merely be the butt of his jokes. She wished she could find a way to calm her mother and make her feel secure.

Her older sister Jane was already out and quite the most beautiful. She was blond, blue eyed, tall, statuesque with regular features and a serene countenance. Even with Jane's looks entering into an advantageous marriage would not be easily accomplished. The Bennet girls were practically without dowries. They each had one fifth of Mrs. Bennet's original five thousand pound dowry. They were all attractive but with such a small bridal prize they were not even going to be the first choice for local men in the marriage market. The local gentry usually needed an infusion of cash just like the larger estates to ensure prosperity. Thomas Trent would have been the exception. He and Jane had loved each other since they were practically infants. Nothing would have kept them apart except what did. He died of a trifling cold at fifteen.

Elizabeth's aunt and uncle noticed Lizzy's distress with her mother's prodding when they were at Longbourne for Christmas. She clearly was not comfortable with being out and unlike her sister Jane at fifteen, Lizzy still looked childlike. Despite her girlish appearance, she was by far the most intelligent of the Bennet girls and the most resourceful in solving problems. Just as she had been writing letters about estate business for her father since she was thirteen she often helped him to resolve problems between tenants. She was the diplomat of the family. She loved her sisters and often was called upon to advocate on their behalf with her father or mother and she found ways to settle disputes among her sisters by using humor to dissolve the tension.

Elizabeth had long been a favorite of the Gardiners and they soon found a solution to the animosity between mother and daughter that pleased both Mrs. Bennet and Lizzy. They offered to have Elizabeth come to London for an extended period ostensibly to help Mrs. Gardiner with her two older children. Mrs. Gardiner had recently given birth to her third child and her other two children, seven year old Thomas and four year old Marianne, adored their cousin.

Lizzie read to them and was very talented at doing the voices of the different characters. Witches were her specialty and she even did a credible dragon. Marianne would bury her face in Lizzy's lap during the scary parts but Thomas refused to even flinch when his cousin let out a cackle. She made up exciting stories of knights and princesses that had both her cousins enthralled. She was using Perrault to teach her cousins French. Both Thomas and Marianne liked Puss in Boots best and Elizabeth was a master at capturing the tricky cat's personality. Despite his less than ethical actions, Thomas and Marianne thought Puss clever, funny and he certainly knew how to survive by any means necessary. Together Elizabeth and the children went for long walks in the park, built snowmen and made kites in anticipation of the spring. Elizabeth had taught Thomas to climb trees but promised her Aunt Gardiner she would not indulge in the activity in front of Marianne and that she and Thomas would restrict their tree climbing to Hertfordshire.

Chapter 2 - Cruel Intentions

Edmund Fitzwilliam, the Viscount Wolfbridge, eldest son of the Earl of Matlock and heir to the earldom was in London for the winter. None of the rest of his family was in town so in the interest of economy...ah yes, the ever present need to economize...he was staying at Darcy House with his cousins Fitzwilliam and Anne Darcy. They were spending an evening at the theatre in the Darcy box.

The theatre was not one of Lord Wolfbridge's favorite diversions but it did afford him the chance to peruse the spectators. As he looked out he was arrested by a sight that set his blood tingling. He could not take his eyes off the young woman practically hanging out of Lord Hughes' box. She was oblivious to every one else in the theatre except the players. This was not someone from the ton hoping to be seen and admired. There was no coyness in her demeanor and she had the look of the country about her. The style of her gown was not the latest even though the couple with her was dressed more fashionably. The woman was too young to be her mother so he assumed she was not with her parents. Perhaps she was with an older brother or sister or an aunt and uncle hosting their country relative in London. She would be vulnerable with out the familiarity of her surroundings. He felt pleasure thinking of her look of mortification if she knew he was watching and the tingling he was feeling increased when he envisioned her look of panic if she knew what he was thinking.

Her facial expressions as she watched the play reminded him of women in the throes of passion but unlike most of those he had observed this one was very young. She was tiny with a mass of chestnut curls in a very girlish style and her figure was not at all womanly. The modest and girlish cut of her gown told him she was not out. Her countenance was dominated by large, expressive eyes the way children's faces are before they grow into their features… eyes so appealing... he wanted to see them helpless. But he must be wary as there was intelligence in those eyes. Intelligence meant danger but then again danger made the game more enjoyable. Of course she was a female so how much of an adversary could she be. It had been a long time since he had seen such an exciting creature.

Lord Wolfbridge was bored with London but he did not want to go home to Matlock. His father the Earl urged his first born incessantly to get married and produce an heir. He ordered him to find a young woman with a large dowry. Lord Matlock did not care what kind of connections had produced the wealth he just insisted that she bring at least fifty thousand pounds. Their family was an ancient titled one and could stand money from trade as long as there was plenty of it. The Viscount had met a young woman through his brother Richard, Eleanor Harding, who fit that requirement. His brother seemed to be quite fond of her so she couldn't be a harpy caring about nothing but improving her family's connections. Richard preferred pleasant, amiable women who loved dancing and witty discourse. Yes, Eleanor would do nicely as a wife for him. She was even small, not very curvy and moderately pleasant looking.

Edmund at twenty six was resigned to please his father...that meant being resolved to pursue Eleanor when she came to town in April. Richard was not as handsome as he was and he was after all a second son. Edmund was sure with his charm, good looks and title he would be successful. Until then the little bird across the theatre could be a charming diversion. Maybe he could even smile and flatter her into being a diversion for a while after he married. The problem with all his fancies was they were short lived. Unfortunately little girls just get bigger all the time.

It was time to start planning his immediate pursuit. Lord and Lady Hughes estate was next to Pemberly in Derbyshire and it would be rude for the Darcy's not to speak to their neighbors. He just had to be present when the introductions took place. He needed a beard and Anne would do nicely. It would be simple to encourage her to befriend the little country lass.

Anne was very susceptible to his charm and easy to manipulate. In an unguarded moment, she once told him she wished her mother was set on a marriage for her to him instead of Darcy. He had briefly thought about a marriage of convenience to Anne but Darcy acquiesced to Aunt Catherine's wishes after only one season in the marriage market. Anne met some of Edmund's physical requirements. She was tiny but her smallness was the result of lack of health and she just seemed sickly and not the child-like appearance he preferred. Also Anne would not have been as indifferent to a marriage with Edmund as she was to Darcy and that could have been trouble for him. Edmund did not need the family discussing his peccadilloes at every gathering. Of course Darcy was never going to commit any indiscretions. Darcy and Anne seemed to be moderately happy with each other although joy did not seem to be the most important commodity to Darcy. Very little seemed to elicit passion in his cousin except duty and honor. He was kind to Anne and very protective of his sister Georgiana.

Chapter 3 - The First Time Ever He Saw Her Face

Darcy's attention was drawn to the same vision his cousin was contemplating. The vision made him smile with remembrance. The young woman's joy was palpable even across the darkened theatre. She would occasionally mouth Miranda's dialogue and her face expressed an amazing array of emotions. She obviously knew The Tempest well. He thought back to the first time he had seen Shakespeare performed. He had been thirteen and was in this very theatre and this very box with his parents. They had brought him to see Hamlet. He had also known much of the dialogue and he had identified with the brooding Danish prince and his obsession to uphold the honor of his family and expose the murder of his father by his uncle.

Darcy experienced something when he looked at this young woman that he could not identify. Nothing similar had ever happened to him before. He felt a kindred spirit. He was moved by her unaffected manner, her lively enthusiasm, her joy, the beauty of her eyes shining with intelligence. He wished he could know her better but was unnerved by his cousin's fascination. He knew it was not stemming from an admiration for her love of Shakespeare. He was appalled to think that his feelings could stem from someplace akin to Edmunds. He was after all a married man and any breach of propriety or commitments was abhorrent.

She was sitting in the box of his Derbyshire neighbor, Lord Hughes. He wondered if he should talk to him of his fears for the young woman with regard his cousin. Yet the idea of exposing his families' secrets and perhaps creating a scandal was unacceptable so he immediately rejected the thought. Surely the young woman had adequate supervision to protect her from rakes even if they were viscounts.

Darcy knew his cousin was by far the most handsome and charming of the eligible bachelors of the ton. As he looked out over the theatre he saw many a woman looking at his cousin behind their fans. Edmund could woo and wed any woman he wanted but instead he liked the sport of hunting women who were either safe or outside his circle. Darcy had only heard of his liaisons with married women and widows. He had always been discreet and resourceful in arranging the capture but the way he was looking at this young woman made Darcy cringe.

Darcy, Edmund, his brother Richard and Darcy's friend George Wickham had played together as boys at Pemberly. Edmund had been the oldest with his brother two years younger and Darcy and Wickham three years younger. Edmund had been the leader of their group often deciding what they would play. He usually displayed a selfish recklessness that made Darcy uncomfortable. Over the years Darcy and Richard became closer than even Edmund and his brother. Their personalities were much more compatible even though to the outside they seemed opposites. Darcy was quiet and aloof and many thought him arrogant. Richard was amiable, perhaps even jovial and sometimes Darcy thought his openness bordered on the indiscreet. Richard had a similar charm to Edmund but like Darcy he was very serious about his obligations. Richard was now a Captain in the regulars and Darcy was married and the master of a vast estate. Mr. Darcy senior had passed over Edmund and the Earl and appointed Richard to share guardianship of Darcy's twelve year old sister, Georgiana with his son

Darcy became estranged from George Wickham while they were at Oxford. He was a favorite of Fitzwilliam's father and Mr. Darcy had paid for Wickham's education. The rumor was that Darcy did not approve of George's dissolute ways. Darcy neither confirmed nor denied the rumor but when Wickham came to him shortly after his father's death, he paid him off for the living Mr. Darcy had promised. Fitzwilliam knew the man should not be a clergyman. Darcy knew Edmund considered Wickham a protégé and they had spent time carousing together over the years. While at Oxford they had shared a liking for young innocents usually the daughters of shopkeepers. Wickham was the son of Pemberly's steward and his lack of consequence gave him more latitude. Edmund being the son of the Earl of Matlock had to be more careful about his liaisons than George but he had much more of an ability to impress and bribe than Wickham. Over the years they had shared more than once.

Darcy probably would have become estranged from Edmund as well except than he was family. Darcy was in agreement with his uncle the Earl that family harmony and unity was important to preserve. Concealing any whiff of friction was of the uppermost importance to the Fitzwilliam and Darcy families.

Chapter 4 - God Bless the Child that's Got Her Own

Anne felt a surge of jealousy when she noticed both her husband and her cousin were watching a young woman across the theatre. It did not surprise her that her cousin was watching since she was definitely his type. This one could not possibly be older that fifteen and she could be even younger. She was not sure what her husband saw in the young woman. He had never expressed much interest in any woman including Anne and avoided social interaction at all costs. He had been miserable the one season he had attended and at twenty he proposed to Anne just to avoid having to attend a second time.

At the time of his proposal, Darcy had been the most eligible bachelor of the ton followed by his cousin. Darcy was not titled like Edmund but he was much wealthier. He had also been seen by the matchmaking mamas as much more reputable than Edmund and consequently would be kinder to their daughters even if a trifle indifferent. The daughters actually preferred the Viscount because he was much more charming than his dour cousin. The cousins looked very much alike with dark curly hair and penetrating brown eyes but Darcy only measured up to Edmund's looks when he smiled and his dimples were displayed. That was a rare sight...Darcy had been interminably serious for as long as Anne could remember and he had become more so with the death of his father six months ago. He had numerous obligations and was uncomfortable with all company outside of his family and close friends. This aspect of his personality was what perplexed Anne. Why was her husband expressing an interest in a totally unconnected young woman...a little girl really?

Anne really couldn't complain about their marriage. She had desperately needed to get out of her mother's house and out from under her thumb. She enjoyed living at Pemberly and Georgiana was a pleasant little girl. Her father-in-law had not said much about their marriage but Anne felt he did not completely approve. George Darcy had married her mother's sister Anne because he was in love with her. He had pursued her until she agreed to marry. Anne always suspected that Mr. Darcy thought his son should have married for love rather that convenience.

Anne handled her responsibilities as mistress adequately but was beginning to have doubts about her ability to produce an heir. An heir was a necessity - more for her estate Rosings than for Pemberly. Georgiana could always produce an heir for the Darcy estate. Her mother was always reminding her about her duty to provide an heir for Rosings as well as to inherit the considerable wealth her father had left to Anne. Anne did not enjoy her marital obligations. Fitzwilliam was a gentle lover but Anne was petrified of giving birth. She refused her husband more than she should if she was serious about becoming with child. To her relief Darcy did not pressure her. He was too immersed in running Pemberly and being guardian to Georgiana. A year after his father had become ill her husband still struggled to keep up with all his responsibilities and she knew the grief he felt for his father weighed heavily.

Perhaps the young woman awakened a feeling of nostalgia for his youth. Both of Darcy's parents had instilled a love of literature in their children. She often found Fitzwilliam and Georgiana in the library and Darcy would be reading one of Shakespeare's plays to her. He was an excellent reader and even did voices for the different characters. Georgiana loved the voices he gave to the witches in Macbeth. Each one was different and more frightening than the last.

Anne was relieved they had come to London for the winter and was pleased her cousin Edmund was staying with them. Anne enjoyed his company. He was able to tell her all the gossip of the ton. He was adept at flattering and teasing Anne and he was willing to be available for visits from and to her acquaintances. Anne had very little experience making calls or accepting calls and Darcy was not much for participating in the social niceties. Edmund gave Anne confidence and while he was with her she became very popular among the ton.

Chapter 5 - First Impressions

During the break the Darcy party went to get some refreshment. As Edmund expected they encountered Lord and Lady Hughes, the unknown couple from their box and Shakespeare's ardent fan.

“Lord and Lady Hughes are you avoiding the Derbyshire winter as Mrs. Darcy and I are?” Darcy said.

Lord Hughes gestured to the couple and said, “May I introduce Mr. and Mrs. Edward Gardiner and their niece Miss Elizabeth Bennet who is visiting from Hertfordshire. We are here in town because Lady Hughes is Godmother to the Gardiner's new baby girl and we are here for the baptism. Mrs. Gardiner is from Derbyshire and went to school with Lady Hughes. Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner, these are our nearest neighbors in Derbyshire Mr. and Mrs. Fitzwilliam Darcy of Pemberly.”

Everyone bowed and curtseyed appropriately and Darcy said “It is a pleasure meeting you Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner and Miss Bennet. I would like to introduce you to my cousin the Viscount Wolfbridge.”

Edmund stepped forward and bowed and then gave all a spectacular smile. Elizabeth had never seen anyone as handsome as the Viscount. He was tall with an athletic build, dark curly hair, penetrating dark eyes and the straightest, whitest teeth she had ever seen. She immediately blushed. Mr. Darcy looked a great deal like his cousin but he seemed more severe and his looks were not enhanced by that brilliant smile.

Edmund was pleased he got to see the hoped for blush but felt he should not be too obvious in his admiration in front of the young woman's aunt and uncle.

Darcy began the conversation by asking Mrs. Gardiner where she was from in Derbyshire.

“I am from Lambton. My father owns several shops, a haberdashery, a gun shop and he buys wool from the estates in Derbyshire. He does the washing, carding and spinning and sells the yarn to knitting workshops in Manchester and several places in Scotland. I was privileged to meet your mother once when she came into the haberdashery. She was a beautiful and elegant woman.”

“Thank you for your kind words. Lambton is not five miles from Pemberly. Is your father Mr. Davies?”

“Yes he is. Do you know him?”

“Not well but I do sell wool to him occasionally and your cousin, Mr. Wilder has recently become our family physician.”

Mrs. Gardiner was unable to discern whether Mr. Darcy was cognizant of her Cousin Jamie and Aunt Maddie's history so she said very little. “That is right; I do remember my father mentioning Cousin Jamie had become the physician for the Darcy family. I believe it was Lord Hughes who recommended him. I also remember him mentioning that your father passed away recently. Please let me offer my condolences.”

“Thank you again for your kindness. Mr. Gardiner are you also from Derbyshire?”

“No, I am from Hertfordshire but now have my business here in London.”

“What is your business?”

I also supply yarn to those making textiles. I import linen, silk and cotton. I have just recently expanded my business and have begun importing indigo from the Americas and spices from Asia.

Mr. Darcy continued making conversation with the Gardiners and was impressed by their intelligence, taste and good manners. He finally turned his attention to the young woman who had captured his attention during the performance.

“Miss Bennet is this the first time you have seen Shakespeare performed by a professional troupe?”

Elizabeth's face lit up and her eyes sparkled at his question. She breathlessly replied, “Yes Mr. Darcy and it has so far been one of the most extraordinary experiences I have ever had.” Her mouth broke into a lopsided grin as she gushed, “Of course I have been in Hertfordshire my whole life and have not had many experiences but I do so love Shakespeare and The Tempest is one of my particular favorites. I was ecstatic when I heard that Lord and Lady Hughes had extended an invitation to my aunt and uncle and me to join them in their box.”

Darcy was amused by her exuberance and candor and he was unable to help himself. He smiled at her and his dimples were evident to all.

Elizabeth now thought he was as handsome as his cousin. She blushed again and looked down at her feet for a few seconds but then continued the discussion in the hopes of seeing that smile again. “I hope to see more of Shakespeare performed in the future but my most fervent dream is to see Moliere's Le Misanthrope performed at the Comédie Française in Paris. However with the situation between France and England I doubt I will get my wish anytime soon.”

Darcy smiled again and said, “What does one so young know about misanthropy and hypocrisy?”

“My father is a great studier of human folly and enjoys mocking other's failings. I have enjoyed his barbs over the years and was struck when I first read Le Misanthrope and Le Bourgeois Gentilhomme at the similarity between my father's and Moliere's humor. The irony is that my father is a bit of a misanthrope and I even now and then see a bit of the misanthrope in myself. That is what I like about the theatre. It helps us all to become more self aware while indulging in an entertaining evening with friends - and not to slight my mother's legacy - it gives me an excuse to dress up.”

It had been such a long time since Darcy had engaged in such stimulating conversation. He decided to challenge this young woman. In an almost conspiratorial voice he asked, “Do you feel comfortable with Moliere's satirizing the hypocrisies of the French aristocracy considering the results of the French revolution?”

Elizabeth was enjoying her conversation with this man. She moved quite close to Darcy and was speaking directly to him as the others conversed around them, “In truth, he poked fun at both the bourgeoisie and the aristocracy. You are unfair to blame him for the Jacobins.” She glanced toward the Viscount as she said, “I have no connection to any aristocracy so I am free to be much more egalitarian in my outlook and hopefully still keep my head about me. The corruptness of the society created its critics even within the ancien regime or how do we explain Laclos or the duc d'Orléans?”

Darcy's mouth dropped in amazement, “You have read Les Liaisons Dangereuses? How old are you?”

Elizabeth whispered, “I just turned fifteen and please be discreet. I would not like my aunt and uncle overhearing that I read one of the forbidden books my father keeps on the top shelf of his library. Besides the threat to my morals from the risqué contents, I almost broke my neck climbing. How delightful that would have been for the gossips in my village. Can you not hear their whispering about the young woman who died in pursuit of improper and lascivious reading material?”

Darcy threw back his head and laughed at this young woman's delightful impertinence.

Edmund and Anne looked at each other and neither could believe that the dour Darcy had not only treated a stranger to one of his rare smiles but then proceeded to laugh out loud. Anne could not even remember the last time Darcy had smiled at her like that. She also was struck by just how handsome he was when he smiled.

The time had come for the two parties to return to their boxes.

Elizabeth Bennet was flushed with excitement as she reviewed the recent interactions with Lord Wolfbridge and the Darcy's. She was pleased with her ability to converse easily with such important personages. She thought both the Viscount and Mr. Darcy very handsome. She hoped her Ferdinand could look like them. She thought about how tall they were...and oh, those broad shoulders, narrow waists and slim hips. Luckily it was dark in the box because she was sure she had turned bright red at the thought of their bodies. Elizabeth had watched them as they walked away and sighed at the elegance of both men. Oh my, she should not be thinking about this. She was sure it was highly improper. Elizabeth concentrated instead on Lord Wolfbridge's smile and brilliant teeth and Mr. Darcy's dimples and the fact that they had both seemed to be pleased with her...these men's smiles made her feel special.

Lord Wolfbridge smiled lasciviously in the darkness. What an innocent. She admitted she had been nowhere beyond Hertfordshire. He liked her impertinence and would enjoy matching wits with her. Was she knowledgeable enough to pick up on any sexual innuendos he might throw into the conversation? He knew if she did he would get to see her blush but he needed to be careful. He did not want to scare her off. Who was this Laclos fellow she had read that she and Darcy were laughing about? He would have to find out. He was not totally fluent in French but was pretty sure the title translated to Dangerous Liaisons. And he probably should brush up his Shakespeare and get ready to start quoting him now. Ah there she was leaning out of the box again. This was going to be delicious.

Fitzwilliam Darcy was confused about what had just happened. He had never been so relaxed - not to mention charming - and charmed when talking to a total stranger. She had the most beautiful eyes he had every seen. They were green with flecks of gold and they sparkled as though they reflected an inner light. He could barely remember any other feature other than her delightful chestnut curls glimmering in the candlelight. Why was he fixated on a child? Yes she was a child - a very intelligent, literate and witty child with beautiful hair and eyes. He remembered her lopsided grin when she admitted she had climbed to the top shelf of her father's library to retrieve Les Liaisons Dangereuses. She was so refreshing. There was no disguise of any sort. However, what did it mean that he found her so delightful? He was married. It would be totally inappropriate and he was sure gossiped about in great detail among the ton if he befriended a child who was not at all within his realm. He would forget her immediately after tonight but for the duration of the performance he would indulge himself and watch her reactions. Maybe vicariously he could gain just a bit of her joy. It had been so long since he had felt such joy.

Anne Darcy was intrigued by this young woman who had enthralled both her husband and her cousin. She seemed so at ease in conversation for one so young. Maybe they could become friends. Anne had never been allowed to have friends outside of her family. The only women she related to with any intimacy were her mother, her aunt the Countess and Georgiana. Her companion when she was growing up, Mrs. Jenkinson, was a very quiet sort of woman and not lively like Miss Bennet. Perhaps some of this young woman's ease in social situations would rub off on Anne. She was currently relying on Edmund to help her in society while in town. Miss Bennet had almost no connections but perhaps through confidences shared she could understand how to gain assurance and élan. As Mrs. Darcy she garnered respect among the ton but always there was that anxious feeling that everyone knew that hers was a marriage of convenience and that he was indifferent to her. If she projected a more assured image perhaps she could quash the gossip and gain esteem in her own right.

Posted on Wednesday, 14 May 2008

Chapter 6 - PG 13 - Great Expectations

Within days of the meeting at the theatre, Lady Hughes, Mrs. Gardiner and Elizabeth had been invited to tea with Mrs. Darcy. Lady Hughes picked up her friends at Gracechurch Street and they arrived at Grosvenor Square a short time later.

Darcy House was an imposing structure. Elizabeth was in awe the minute they walked into the entrance hall. It was larger than the drawing room at Longbourn and had a beautiful hexagonal table in the center with the most unusual arrangement of flowers. Lizzy had never seen such flowers…they looked tropical, exotic and more than a bit unreal. The flowers were on thin stems with large multiple blossoms on each. There were two different varieties displayed. One was white with a purple center and what looked like a tongue. The other was a beautiful purplish pink with just a hint of yellow at the center. Spiky green leaves and willow branches in their first buds augmented the blooms.

Once past the large entrance hall table, Lizzy noted the grand staircase and a series of three beautiful landscapes on the first landing. From there the staircase split with stairs going up both sides. One of the paintings was of a country town that reminded her of Meryton. Another used light in a most amazing way, and she felt the wildness of the approaching storm it depicted. The third painting was a watercolor of a town from the prospect of a hill. Lizzy would have loved to look at the paintings close up.

The room like the table was hexagonal with the staircase and the front door making two sides and arched entryways into other rooms were the remaining four sides. The floor was a beautiful white marble with a black and gray marble inlaid border. Above her head was the most beautiful chandelier she had ever seen. She was sure it held at least a hundred candles, and thought it must be amazing to behold the light reflecting off the lead crystal tear drops dangling from the three crown-like golden tiers. Her impression, despite the grandeur, was of an understated elegance highlighting the few extraordinary elements of the room.

The footman took the women's outerwear, and the three women were shown into another unbelievable room. It was almost entirely glass, and housed an incredible assortment of plants. It ran most of the length of the house, but in the front of the room, furniture was arranged as in a drawing room. The fragrance wafting from the plants was intoxicating. She and Jane had been making sachets and toilet waters from flowers since they were ten and twelve respectively. Elizabeth was envious of this remarkable room and not being restricted by the seasons for blossoms. There were lemon trees and orange trees laden with fruit, and there were numerous other varieties of the same flowers she had seen in the entrance hall. One of the plants had very large blossoms with petals that looked like a spotted leopard with a white center and a purple tongue or lip. Jane would be in heaven in this room.

With her eyes even larger than normal, she gushed her praises of the room to her hostess. “Mrs. Darcy, I have never seen anything like this room. How lucky you are. With this room you would never have to suffer the doldrums of winter.”

“Yes, Mr. Darcy's mother, my aunt, had this built, and a similar one at Pemberley when he was just a boy. They are very special rooms to him, and I quite like them as well. The house I grew up in seemed perpetually dark to me. It was a very grand house with beautiful grounds, but it did not have any place like this where you could miraculously escape winter.”

Elizabeth continued to bubble over with enthusiasm. “My sister Jane loves flowers. She would be in heaven if we had a room like this. You will have to tell me about all the types of flowers, especially the ones that smell delicious. Jane and I make sachets and toilet waters as gifts.” Elizabeth noticed that Lord Wolfbridge was in the room and was introducing her aunt to an older couple. Lady Hughes seemed to know them.

The viscount walked toward his cousin and Miss Elizabeth. He had his smile turned on full force. “Miss Bennet, I am delighted to see you again.” He took her arm and directed her to the older couple. “Miss Bennet, these are my parents, Lord and Lady Matlock. Elizabeth curtsied. Lord Wolfbridge continued, “Father, Mother I would like to introduce you to Mrs. Gardiner's niece, Miss Elizabeth Bennet of Hertfordshire.”

Elizabeth realized that Lord Wolfbridge had inherited his looks from his father...including the smile. His mother was a pleasant looking woman who smiled sweetly at Elizabeth. She said, “What a pretty young girl you are. Your hair and eyes are quite extraordinary.”

Elizabeth gave the Countess her signature grin and said, “You are very kind Lady Matlock. I rarely get compliments when I am home in Hertfordshire. My older sister, Jane, is the beauty of the family. She is tall, blond and serene, with exquisite features and quite the perfect figure. None of the rest of the Bennet sisters get noticed when she is around. I would have left home sooner if I had known that once out of her presence, I would receive such compliments.”

Lord Wolfbridge and Lord and Lady Matlock smiled at her humour. Anne and Lady Matlock walked away toward Lady Hughes, leaving Elizabeth alone with the viscount and the earl.

Lord Matlock said, “I asked your aunt if your family is related to Charles Gardiner. There is talk of his being elected a representative peer from Ireland. I understand he is a prominent member of the Protestant Ascendancy and has extensive estates in Ireland. Your aunt said she had never heard of their being any connection to any Gardiner's in Ireland, even though she herself had relatives with estates in Ireland. Have you ever heard your mother or your grandfather mention a connection?”

Elizabeth grinned at the earl and said, “No, my Lord, I have never heard any connection. My grandfather was but a country lawyer in Hertfordshire, and he died when I was ten. I am sure had he known of a connection, he would have mentioned it to my mother, my aunt or my uncle…and if there had been a connection, my mother and my aunt would have told everyone in Hertfordshire about it.”

Lord Matlock smiled back, but inwardly considered her impertinence a bit disdainful of the aristocracy. He had expected her to fawn over a possible connection to the peerage...even if it was through Ireland.

Lord Wolfbridge turned to the earl and said, “Father, Miss Bennet is a Jacobin. Darcy got her to confess she is always on the hunt for the heads of the aristocracy. You must be careful around her or she may try to take yours.”

Lord Matlock got a very odd smile on his face. It was beautiful like his son's, but somehow seemed a little off kilter. He had decided he would get back at this disrespectful little chit. He smiled at Elizabeth and then turned to his son and said, “As you know son, it depends which head she is after. One I will guard with my life, but the other I may ardently consent to let her borrow.”

Elizabeth had no idea what he was talking about with his comment about two heads. She thought maybe he meant the heads of the father and the son. She was afraid they would think her slow witted if she let on she did not understand, so she smiled sweetly and said, “Your son is teasing me, Lord Matlock. I am neither a Jacobin nor a Girondist. The confusion, I am sure, comes about because I am widely known for preferring mountains* to flat land. Oakham Mount in Hertfordshire is my most favorite place. Rest assured sir, I am not out after either of your heads.”

Lord Wolfbridge and Lord Matlock gave each other knowing looks and laughed heartily.

Elizabeth blushed and felt they were laughing at her and not with her. She knew she had not understood their humour, but she was just as sure they did not get her bon mot. She was no longer as sure of her ability to charm peers or potential peers. She quickly excused herself and went to find Anne to ask for a tour of the conservatory. Learning about flowers seemed a safe occupation. Anne was not that knowledgeable about the types of flowers, but promised someday she would have Mr. Darcy give Elizabeth a tour. She did know that the flowers Lizzy thought were so beautiful and exotic were called orchids.

Over the next month, Elizabeth and Mrs. Gardiner were invited to tea at Darcy House five times. Mrs. Gardiner invited Mrs. Darcy three times. Mrs. Darcy was very gracious and came to Gracechurch Street as though it was nothing unusual. She met Thomas and Marianne and thought them delightful children and thought baby Susan was the prettiest baby she had ever seen. She expressed her desire to have children, but only she knew how frightened she was of the event. Elizabeth and Mrs. Gardiner both thought they were developing a true and close friendship with Mrs. Darcy. Elizabeth was hoping the friendship could continue once she returned to Hertfordshire, and Mrs. Gardiner was keenly aware that a friendship with Mrs. Darcy would be advantageous for her family's businesses.

They were never invited for dinner, nor was Mr. Darcy ever present at tea. The earl and the countess were present on one other occasion and the viscount on two. Elizabeth still thought Lord Wolfbridge the most handsome man she had ever met, and was proud she seemed to please him. Sometimes she would think about him romantically in private but she also felt as though she did not truly understand what he was thinking. He made her blush a great deal, and he asked the most peculiar questions when no one else was close enough to hear. She knew she was not of his sphere and was not becoming infatuated, but she did think highly of herself because he would sometimes be attentive.

* The Jacobins were sometimes known as the mountain because they sat on the highest benches of the Legislative Assembly. La Montagne was a political grouping within the Jacobin Club led by uncompromising men of action such as Marat, Danton, David and Robespierre.

WARNING: This chapter has a rape scene.

Chapter 7 - PG 13 - Lord Wolfbridge, Has Such Teeth, Dear…and He Shows Them Pearly White

Elizabeth and her Aunt Gardiner had been invited to Darcy House for tea on March 15th. The day of the engagement, Lizzy awoke thinking about Julius Caesar and the significance of the Ides of March. Was it truly a day that forewarns disaster, or was it just the stuff of theatrical allusion. She tended not to believe in superstition, but then again, she had her own history with which to contend.

A year ago on this date, she had gotten her courses for the first time. She had known to expect it because of her late night talks with Jane, but she was shocked by her mother's reaction. Mrs. Bennet was elated that Lizzy could very soon become a candidate for matrimony - since she could now bear children. This was the beginning of her conflict with her mother. Elizabeth would have liked some compassionate explanation of this life transition. She endured severe pain both the first time and several other times during the past year. Jane never had pain as intense as Lizzy's, but after her initial interaction with her mother, she had decided to suffer in silence. Since arriving in London, she had been able to talk to her aunt about such things, and she was mollified that her experiences were not unusual. The former Madeline Davies had attended a school for young ladies in Derbyshire and was much more knowledgeable about such things than her mother.

At breakfast, her aunt informed her that the baby, Susan, was croupy and teething. She felt it unwise to leave her, but encouraged Lizzy to visit Mrs. Darcy anyway. Mrs. Darcy had offered to come by to collect them. Mrs. Gardiner was confident Elizabeth would be well taken care of.

Elizabeth dressed carefully. She wore her yellow frock with the embroidered violets and lily of the valley around the neckline. The design was by Kitty, and Jane had executed the embroidery. Even though Kitty was only eleven, she was developing into a talented artist. Since Anne was picking her up in a Darcy carriage, Elizabeth decided to wear her new kid slippers. She looked at herself in the full length mirror and was pleased with her reflection.

Spring was still a week away, but the day was sunny and had the promise of the fine weather to come. Elizabeth felt her ensemble reflected that promise. She assumed they would take tea in the solarium and was quite looking forward to feeling the sun on her back as was wont to happen in that extraordinary room.

Anne had given the Gardiners some lemons and oranges, and Elizabeth had told her aunt she would give some of Jane's sachets and toilet water to reciprocate. Jane's sachets were a gift that all their friends enjoyed receiving. The sachets were dried blossoms enclosed in small squares of handkerchief linen. Jane would embroider the flower of the scent on the sachet and tie the bundle with the appropriate slip of ribbon. The two most prized by recipients were lavender and rose. They complimented the toilet waters Jane created by crushing the blossoms to release their oils and then steeping the mixture in spring water and a minute amount of the liquid Tom and her father used for killing beetles and butterflies for their collections. Jane had seriously occupied herself with this endeavor after Tom died, and it had grown steadily over the years. The products were much prized in both Hertfordshire and Cheapside as gifts. Lately their Uncle Gardiner had found a source for glass bottles with stoppers. Kitty had designed the image of the flowers that Jane embroidered on the sachets, and their uncle had the same image etched onto the bottles.

Anne often complained of feeling anxious, so Lizzie prepared a basket of some of the lavender sachets, lavender toilet water and a special chamomile tea blend. It tasted quite pleasant, as Jane had added bits of dried apple and cinnamon. Lizzy told Anne how Jane had created the tea for their mother. Throughout their acquaintance, Lizzy had entertained Anne with her descriptions of her mother's nerves and how they would come and go with spectacular speed depending on what was happening. The tea was quite helpful to calm her nerves, but the best thing to dispel her mother's flutterings was a visit from her Aunt Phillips with delicious gossip.

Anne and Elizabeth enjoyed comparing their mothers' idiosyncrasies. They had been in each other's company quite often in the past month, but had to remain circumspect in their discussions of their mothers when in company. Today they could be much more open out of the hearing of aunts, uncles and cousins.

Once alone together in the carriage, Anne told Elizabeth she could call her by her given name and asked if she could do the same. Elizabeth readily agreed. She felt Anne was already a close friend. She both envied her and felt sorry for her. She had great wealth and an incredibly handsome husband. On the other hand, her husband seemed a bit indifferent, and Anne seemed to lack confidence in her ability to win friends. Elizabeth was quite looking forward to corresponding with Anne once she returned to Hertfordshire.

Their discussion rapidly got on to their favorite topic…whose mother was the most distressing. Lizzy knew her mother was just mildly obsessed with marrying off her daughters while Anne's mother had felt the need to control every aspect of her daughter's life. She even interfered with what she ate and what she could learn. Anne's mother had decided she was not healthy enough to learn to play the pianoforte, never let her attend the season in London and only allowed her to socialize with her family. Elizabeth was not sure love was the motive for Anne's mother's behavior. Somehow it just seemed she had a need to be in charge and cared not for her daughter's happiness. Elizabeth realized her mother's preoccupation with marrying off her daughters had at its core love and wanting to protect them from a life of reduced circumstances.

Elizabeth suddenly felt a surge of homesickness and wished she could hug and kiss her whole family. She realized that despite their financially precarious situation they were lucky girls to be so loved by both their parents and each other.

When they arrived at Darcy house, they did not go to the solarium, but instead went upstairs to a sitting room in the family quarters. For the first time, she was able to observe the three landscapes up close. Anne was knowledgeable about the artists.

“My husband inherited a love of art from his mother. She started a collection, and he continues to add to it. These are three recent additions. The one on the left of the country town is by Constable and the one on the right is by a man named Turner, it is Oxford from the prospect of a hill overlooking the city. The larger, middle painting of the approaching storm is by another man named Turner.

My father-in-law collected first edition books and Fitzwilliam also enjoys adding to his collection. I have not yet decided what I should collect. Do you have any suggestions?”

“My father collects beetles and books. He has a few first editions, but he is more interested in reading the books than preserving them. Thankfully he is very generous in letting his children share. Papa uses his beetles to illustrate his favorite theological point. When someone asks him what he knows about God. He always answers that the only thing he is positive about is that God seems to be quite fond of beetles since he made so many of them*. He then proceeds to tell them he is attempting to capture every species in order to ensure his entrance into Heaven. Most people do not know what to make of his reply. My sister Mary thinks his remark borders on the sacrilegious. She is very devout and collects sermons.”

Elizabeth got a nostalgic look on her face as she continued, “My childhood friend Tom, aided by my sister Jane, collected butterflies and moths before he died. I collect voices. I try to learn to imitate unusual voices I hear, and then I use them when I tell stories to children. I am particularly good at scary voices. My youngest sisters collect ribbons. I am sure you have realized by now that our collections are suited to people with limited funds. You have many more options than we.”

Anne laughed at her lively friend. “If you ever meet my mother, you will be able to collect a prime specimen with her scary voice. Lately I have been thinking I might help Mr. Darcy with his collections. You already know he collects orchids, and I might like helping him with that.”

Elizabeth looked at the painting of the approaching storm one more time. The way the artist used light made the storm both beautiful and menacing at the same time. She shivered with a feeling of something akin to impending doom as she looked at the painting. She wondered if it was a premonition that it was going to rain.

Anne and Elizabeth were served tea and chatted for a while. Anne was encouraging Elizabeth to accompany her the following week on a shopping expedition; thinking Elizabeth should buy a few gowns before she went back to Hertfordshire.

“Elizabeth, you must see this new gown I had made. I think the style will suit you well. I am just going to take your wonderful presents into my room, and I will return shortly with the gown. You will see what I am talking about...the fabric is luscious, and the cut of the gown is most flattering. I will only be gone a short time.”

Elizabeth thought it odd Anne left by the door to the hall, but assumed maybe the sitting room was not one that was exclusively hers. Elizabeth wandered around the sitting room while she waited for Anne to return. She noticed a pile of books on a table and decided to indulge her curiosity and see what the Darcy's were reading. She noticed one was Les Liaison Dangereuses. She wondered who was reading it, since she knew Mr. Darcy had read it before. While she was wondering, she heard the door to the hall open and close. She turned around expecting to see Anne, and instead saw Lord Wolfbridge. Lizzy smiled, but suddenly became nervous. She had felt slightly uncomfortable around the viscount and the earl ever since their exchange about the French Revolution the first day she came for tea. She was not sure why she felt their remarks improper. What they said had made no sense to her, but she felt their laughter had somehow been at her expense. The viscount had also asked her very odd questions about whether her father had to punish her often. She wished Mrs. Darcy would return soon. She did not wish to be in the room alone with Lord Wolfbridge, but she also did not want to offend him.

The viscount smiled and said, “Miss Bennet, what a pleasure to see you. You are certainly very spring-like today. I hope you will be warm enough going home. The weather has taken a turn for the worse. It has gotten quite windy outside, and it looks like a storm is moving in.”

“You need not worry about me, Lord Wolfbridge. I have worn my cloak. I am experienced enough to know how changeable the weather is this time of year.”

“Oh yes, old enough...but you must promise me, Miss Bennet, that you will not get any older. You are quite perfect as you are.”

Elizabeth was determined to do something about the impropriety of her current situation. She continued to smile at the viscount but said, “Lord Wolfbridge, I think I must be leaving.” She cautiously, and she hoped casually, walked toward the hall door. Lord Wolfbridge continued to smile at her as though she were daft. However, he did not try to stop her. He seemed to be holding his breath, waiting for a desired reaction. React she did when she turned the knob and realized the door was locked. The look of panic on her face was worth the wait for Lord Wolfbridge.

Elizabeth was unsure what to do. She could feel tears welling up in her eyes, but she knew she had to stop them from flowing. He seemed to like her distress, and she was sure tears would make him even happier. She could not figure out what he wanted with her. He was a man ten times her consequences. Surely he was not planning to propose. Was this the way men seduced women? If it was, why did he seem to enjoy seeing her suffer? She would have thought the object would be to charm her into forgetting what was about to happen. He kept smiling at her with those teeth she had thought so beautiful. How silly she had been to think it was because he found her someone worthy of knowing.

“Lord Wolfbridge, why are you here?'

“I want you.”

“What do you mean, you want me? Surely you do not mean you want to marry me.”

“Oh silly girl, of course not. My situation in life, my title, my connections are entirely too substantial to consider marriage with someone like you. As I am sure you have noticed with your snooping, I am reading Les Liaisons Dangereuses, and I know you are aware that sometimes viscounts seduce young women. I want to be your first. You are a little girl in need of education and possibly punishment. I am just the man to do that for you.”

Elizabeth shuddered. “Please do not compromise me. I have four sisters and a scandal would be disastrous for their prospects. We have very small dowries. Please, I beg you, let me go home. I will never tell anyone what you just said. Please, I am only fifteen. Please, Lord Wolfbridge, I just want to go home. Please, I am afraid.” Lizzy realized immediately she had said the wrong thing. She saw the look of pleasure that crossed his...could she have really thought him so handsome...face.

The viscount came over to her and put his hand around her upper arm. His hand was huge compared to her arm. She smelled port on his breath. With practically no effort, he pulled her toward the connecting door. The door led to a bedchamber that smelled of pipe smoke.

Elizabeth realized Anne had not taken her to her own, but instead to Lord Wolfbridge's sitting room. She thought Anne had been her friend. With that realization, she knew her situation was hopeless. She was petrified, and was struck by just how large he was. He was more than twice her size…perhaps even three times as large. She was afraid to try to fight him...she was afraid to scream. The Darcys' servants would come to know she was alone with him in his bedchamber. Because of Anne's role, she was positive they would think she had agreed to be here with him. She was still fighting back tears when she came to a decision. If she went along with him, perhaps an opportunity to escape might present itself. Her first priority had to be to ensure no one found out what was happening to her.

Lord Wolfbridge calmly sat down in a chair and proceeded to light his pipe and sip his port. “Now, little girl, I think it is time for you to disrobe. I want to see just how deliciously girlish you are.”

Elizabeth was horrified at his suggestion. Suddenly she realized there was an avenue of escape she had not explored. She ran to the hall door and turned the handle...it was also locked. She began to have trouble breathing, her knees felt weak, and she was afraid she was about to collapse.

A horrifying thought streaked through her foggy mind. For the first time, she became aware of what would happen if he ripped her gown. She had to keep her wits about her. Now that she was convinced there was no escape, she quickly changed her tactics. Her new priority became making sure no one learn of her violation. How could she leave without the Darcys' staff seeing that her frock had been torn? How could she explain the state of her clothing to her aunt and uncle if he forcibly removed them?

Before acquiescing, she tried one last ploy. “Please sir, I do not want to remove my clothes. My body is not pleasing to men. My mother says I have not developed yet, and no man will have me.”

“What do mothers know? Oh no, little one, I like you undeveloped. You are most pleasing to me. Maybe I should disrobe you myself.” With that he walked over to her.

Elizabeth wished he would stop smiling and showing those teeth. Instead of thinking it the most beautiful smile she had even seen...she kept thinking of the big bad wolf. She was sure he was going to eat her or do something quite horrifying. She said, “I will help with the buttons. Please do not rip my gown.” The dress wrapped in front with buttons on the side. Luckily she could reach them. She quickly unbuttoned her gown and pulled it over her head. She carefully placed it on another chair. She stood before him in her chemise.

He had gone back to his chair, port and pipe. With a leer, he said, “Do you want me to help you with the rest?”

She hung her head and nodded, no. She proceeded to remove the rest of her clothing. She saw the look he gave her and heard the words he spoke to describe her when she was naked. She realized nothing she had ever read prepared her for this humiliation. She closed her eyes and began thinking about anything but her current reality. She thought of dawn on Oakham Mount. She thought of Jane...oh, how she wished she were at Longbourn with Jane.

“The time has come, Elizabeth, “Lord Wolfbridge said, “to move on to other things.”

Elizabeth thought about the impropriety of his using her first name and then choked back a hysterical laugh. What a ridiculous thing to worry about. She would allow him to call her anything...or say anything about her if she could just stop him from doing what she was certain he was about to do.

The minute he put his hand around her arm again and started dragging her, Elizabeth receded once more into memories of her life in Hertfordshire. She thought of her childhood…Tom, Jane, Charlotte and Becky...walking the fields...making flower wreaths...Tom teaching her to climb trees while Jane, Charlotte and Becky looked on in horror because they were sure she would fall. She remembered their teasing because she was afraid of horses and she focused as much as she could on the evening she and Jane caught the Luna Moth for Tom's collection.

When he was finished with her, she was unaware of exactly what he had done. Her eyes had remained closed throughout her ordeal and she desperately tried to stay focused on pleasant images. She had felt tremendous pain occasionally and let out involuntary cries and moans. Somehow she had been conscious the sounds she made were pleasing to him. However, the most devastating thing was his running commentary on her body.

After it was over, she lay perfectly still for quite some time. She heard the door open and close. After a while, she opened her eyes and realized he was gone. She walked to the door to the hall and tried the handle. It was unlocked. She saw blood on the bed linens and realized she could see blood and something else on her thighs. She wished she could wash, but was afraid to go searching for water. Instead she quickly dressed and tried as best she could to tidy her hair.

When she got downstairs, she asked for her cloak. She was surprised the footman also gave her the basket in which she had brought Anne's gifts. Once again she was struck by the complicity of Mrs. Darcy in the attack by her cousin. What kind of people were they? They were as depraved as the French aristocracy if not more so. Neither cared whether they ruined her life or her sisters' lives…and probably assumed when they were thrown out in the hedge-rows and couldn't afford to buy bread they could always eat cake. Lizzy let out an involuntary giggle. Lord, she sounded like her mother.

She managed to get out of the house with no one seeing her except the footman. She would walk home and never tell another living soul what had happened to her, and if she was lucky, never see anyone from this most despicable family again. Her most fervent wish at this moment was when he read the end of the Laclos he would feel fear. Elizabeth knew there was no one who would ever avenge her, but maybe some other young woman would have a loved one who would kill him.

*This is a paraphrase of a very famous remark made by the scientist J.B.S. Haldane more than a century later.

Chapter 8 - Hey There Little Red Riding Hood the Man in Black is Following You

Mr. Darcy was just arriving home when he saw a diminutive figure with a red cloak coming down the steps of his townhouse. There was mist in the air, and the tiny woman pulled the hood of her cloak over her chestnut curls. It was the young woman from the theatre, but he could not remember her name. As she passed him, she seemed to be quite agitated. She kept mumbling to herself what sounded like, “beware the Ides of March”. She did not acknowledge him, even though he was standing beside his carriage. She began walking away from the house, and he noticed her shoulders would slump and then she would straighten herself as though a war was going on in her body between sadness and determination. He ran to catch up with her...he could not remember her surname but finally remembered her first name. “Miss Elizabeth, where are you going?”

She did not look at him, but in a voice that was barely audible said, “Home”.

“Is a carriage coming to pick you up?”

“No”

“Where is home?”

“Cheapside”

“You plan to walk from here all the way to Cheapside?”

“Yes”

“It is raining and very blustery.”

“I have a cloak.”

“But you are not wearing boots, only slippers.”

“I am a good walker. I will be fine.”

“Do you know the way?”

“I have made the trip five times, and I remember most of the directions. I will ask the first constable I see if I become unsure.”

“Miss Elizabeth, it is dangerous for you to walk by yourself. Where are your aunt and uncle?”

“My uncle is at his warehouse working, and my aunt had to stay home with baby Susan because she is sick. Mr. Darcy, please leave me alone. I do not want to talk. I just want to go home.”

“Let me take you home in my carriage.”

“No”

“Why not?”

“Because I do not want to...Why will you not leave me alone?”

“You are too young to be out alone in London.”

The young woman slumped once again and said in a profoundly defeated voice, “You are right. I am too young and too silly. I should never have left Longbourn. But please, I still want to be alone.”

Mr. Darcy followed behind the young woman who looked very much like Little Red Riding Hood. She was even carrying a basket. For a tiny thing, she could walk very fast. He caught up to her and asked once again, “Please let me take you in the carriage. I am very worried about you. At least let me walk with you.” He attempted to take her arm.

Her response was loud and fearful, “Mr. Darcy, do not touch me!” She paused as though she realized she had been too sharp in her reply. She continued with, “I am very dirty, and I fear I must reek.” She turned and looked at him. Her face seemed haunted and consumed with sadness. He could see tears pooling in her eyes, but there was some inner fortitude that stopped them from rolling down her cheeks. When he met her, she had seemed to have an inner light that gleamed out through her eyes. The light was gone...Where did it go?

What did she mean she was dirty? She didn't look dirty, but there was a peculiar odor about her. He remembered when he had met her at the theatre, she had smelled of lavender, and that fragrance always reminded him of his mother. Her odor today was something he had smelled before, but could not quite place. One thing he discerned was the acrid smell of blood...and he thought he smelled tobacco smoke. He wondered if the blood meant she was injured. He would have liked to ask, but she had made it clear she did not want to talk. Had she been smoking? That would be very improper...a young woman of fifteen smoking. He dropped back and decided to follow her and motioned his driver to follow him.

For the next hour, they made a strange procession...A demented Little Red Riding Hood, trailed by a very tall, elegant man in black, holding on to his hat to keep it from blowing away, followed by a very fancy carriage with the Darcy crest. For most of the time she appeared to be having a conversation with herself. Her arms would periodically gesture erratically or she would smack her head. Oftentimes she hugged herself as if she was cold. He was very concerned that something terrible had happened. However, he had only met her that night at the theatre. He knew Anne had developed a friendship with her, but she had not told him much about the young woman. He had determined that his interest in her that night had been improper and had tried to excise her from his memory. Maybe she was unstable and Anne had not been in her company long enough to perceive her true nature. She looked back several times to check whether he was following her. Finally as they were getting quite close to Cheapside, she whirled around.

When he was in front of her she spoke, “I have changed my mind. I will take a ride for the rest of the way. It is only about five blocks. I left Gracechurch Street in one of the Darcy carriages… I should arrive back in one in order not to arouse suspicion. He had no idea what she was talking about, but decided to accommodate her. He motioned to the driver and opened the door to the carriage.

Darcy attempted to take her hand to help, but she quickly pulled it away from him. “I am perfectly able to get in without your help.” She scrambled into the carriage, holding on to the door and pulling herself up and through the opening. The maneuver was decidedly unladylike, but she seemed determined to have no human contact.

“Mr. Darcy, please stay here. I do not want my aunt and uncle to think I was alone with you in the carriage. It is only a few blocks. Your driver will be back very soon to pick you up and take you home. It is very kind of you to let me ride in your carriage for this last short distance.”

Once again he thought her behavior odd. She had walked from Grosvenor Square to Cheapside without any qualms...well not quite without qualms as she had seemed agitated the entire way. Now, after more than three miles, she was concerned about raising suspicion by being alone in a carriage with him. Did she not think her aunt and uncle would be suspicious at the condition of her slippers? She had been limping the last ten blocks or so, and he was sure she had blisters. Maybe Anne could shed some light on why she seemed so erratic today. More and more he was convinced she was an unstable young woman and it was probably the result of inheriting bad characteristics combined with improper supervision. She admitted she read forbidden books. He would never allow Georgiana to act so improperly. If Miss Elizabeth behaved like this in the future, something dire was sure to befall her. Hopefully this would be the last time he would ever see her. He struggled to remember why he had been so intrigued when they first met. He had thought about her quite often in the last month despite his efforts to forget her. This encounter should wipe her out of his mind and then he could get back to what his life was like before he met her.

Posted on Tuesday, 20 May 2008

Chapter 9 - Secrets and Lies

Elizabeth arrived at her aunt and uncle's house, and decided to let the footman help her down, as she did not want to call attention to herself. She was disgusted by his touch, but knew she had to pretend she was exactly as she had been before she went to Darcy House, so as not to arouse suspicions. Standing erect, with her head held high as she entered the house, she was relieved that her aunt was not downstairs. Aunt Gardiner was probably still up in the nursery with baby Susan.

Elizabeth asked Mrs. Jones, the housekeeper, if she could have a bath arranged for her. Once undressed, she put her gown and underclothes aside to be laundered, knowing she would never wear any of them again. Discarding them would draw attention… and what about the blood stain? Would it be noticed, and should she worry? Helplessness was threatening to overpower her... if only she could talk with someone. Jane was the only person she could ever trust with her confession. Elizabeth desperately wanted her sister.

No, the best thing was to never reveal the incident to anyone, and she would be spared the humiliation. She had learned her lesson, and now had to prepare to return to Hertfordshire and refuse to be out. Lord Wolfbridge's despicable actions had convinced her she was not mature enough to understand the motives of men... and maybe never would be. What arrogance to think that her extensive reading made her knowledgeable about the human condition and people's motives. In the future, she would also stick to the company she knew from real interaction. Her father had read Chaucer's Chanticleer and the Fox to her when she was only five, and she had always been a big reader of the bible, though not as much as Mary, however, she had not heeded either's advice. Had she listened, she could have avoided what she now decided was her major sin... `Pride goeth before a fall.' She had been so proud of her ability to charm a viscount and an earl. Oh, what a fool she was. She was sure she was the silliest of all her father's daughters.

Elizabeth braced herself - it was time to go downstairs and face her aunt and uncle. She was glad their fears for Susan's welfare were their main concern today, and it was easy to divert attention from herself by asking after her cousin. Her face was schooled with the appropriate look of worry as she listened to the account of Susan's prognosis, but she could not concentrate, and hoped her inattentiveness was not noticed behind her mask.

Dinner was uneventful, but afterwards during tea, her aunt asked her about her visit with Mrs. Darcy. Elizabeth had prepared a response before coming down for dinner. “I am sorry, Aunt, but I had a quarrel with Mrs. Darcy, and she will likely not invite us for tea again. I sent a note to apologize for my behaviour, but I doubt she will forgive me. She found me too familiar in criticizing her mother. Though we have gossiped about our mothers in the past, it was clear she thought I overstepped the bounds of propriety and was entirely too disrespectful with my remarks about someone so much above me.”

Mrs. Gardiner thought Elizabeth's explanation rang false. She found it unbelievable that Mrs. Darcy had been annoyed about something Elizabeth had said of her mother. It was clear from her experience with her that she was a young woman with great animosity toward her mother.

Elizabeth continued her rambling explanation. “My feelings of inadequacy about being out have been proven correct. I have not mastered how to speak to those outside my narrow society.” Elizabeth saw her aunt's face, and she knew she was not entirely successful. Perhaps it was a case of protesting too much.

Elizabeth felt tears welling with her falsehood, but hoped her aunt would think she was distraught about her lack of social graces.

Mrs. Gardiner scrutinized her niece intensely, but was unsure what she saw. Something was wrong… Elizabeth was not telling the truth. She saw the pooling tears, and decided not to probe her niece tonight. There would be time before she went back to Hertfordshire for heart-to-heart talks. Elizabeth was so young, she thought, recalling the angst of her youth. Had Elizabeth become enamoured of the viscount, or even Mr. Darcy? Infatuations were something all young women went through.

Fitzwilliam Darcy arrived back at Darcy House, and immediately searched out his wife. He found her in her sitting room, instructing her maid to put some sachets into her drawers. He could smell lavender. Anne looked shocked when he asked about her visit with Miss Elizabeth. How had he known Elizabeth had visited that afternoon? She stammered as she replied, “It was eh, it was pleasant, but I started feeling unwell, and the visit was cut short. How did you know about her call?”

“I saw her leaving the house. She was distraught about something, acting very agitated and walking almost all the way to Cheapside - in slippers - in the rain and wind. She seemed very unstable and was gesturing quite wildly the whole way. I offered her a ride home in the carriage, but she refused. She seemed particularly averse to being touched. I think she might have been wounded. I smelled tobacco smoke. Were the two of you smoking?”

The whole time Fitzwilliam was speaking, Anne became paler and paler. She was caught, and had to figure out how to recover from this disaster. “Of course we weren't smoking. You must be mistaken about what you smelled. She gave me some lavender sachets and toilet water she helped her sister make. They have been making them since they were quite young. She told me how the occupation had been a solace to them after a tragedy. Your mother always smelled of lavender.” She forced a little smile. “I think I shall like smelling like her. I miss my aunt. It is hard to imagine she was my mother's sister. She was always so cheerful and loving, always laughing a great deal. Miss Elizabeth also gave me some special chamomile tea. She thinks the lavender and the tea will help me feel calmer.”

Fitzwilliam was aware Anne was babbling and trying to divert the conversation away from Miss Elizabeth's state of mind. He decided he would drop the accusation of smoking and ignore her remarks about his mother in the interest of finding out why Miss Elizabeth was acting so irrationally. “Is there anything that happened that could have upset her?”

Anne gripped the back of a chair, hoping she could keep her trembling from being noticeable. She tried to think of something to say to him that would end his queries. She stammered several beginnings, and finally settled on, “I think... I believe... I have noticed for a while that she had become enamoured with Edmund, and I might have said a little too strongly that there could never be anything between them. She did seem quite unhappy with the news and became very quiet, which I thought strange because she is usually so lively. I was feeling unwell and decided it was better to leave her alone with her disappointment. I excused myself, and when I came back ten minutes later, she was gone.”

Darcy thought about Anne's revelation and decided it was plausible. He had thought Miss Elizabeth too sensible to fall for his cousin's suave glibness, but then again, she was very young. She had indicated she had been silly about something. Importance, power and wealth were always very attractive to those from the lower circles, even if they came in the package of an intelligent, joyful, little girl on the brink of womanhood.

Anne Darcy noticed that her husband seemed to momentarily accept her story. She resolved to confront Edmund... if for no other reason than to ensure their stories were in agreement. She would try to get to him before Fitzwilliam decided to ask him if he had been home and seen Miss Elizabeth. The first thing she needed to accomplish was getting rid of her husband. If she was to hide her allowing Edmund to be alone with Elizabeth from Fitzwilliam, she needed to think, and she needed to talk to Edmund.

“I am still feeling unwell. I think I am going to lie down and have a tray sent up for dinner. Miss Elizabeth is very young; she will get over her infatuation soon. If you will excuse me, I will see you tomorrow.”

Mrs. Jones asked to speak with Mrs. Gardiner before she retired. She explained that Molly had shown Mrs. Jones a bloodstain on Miss Elizabeth's pantaloons. She had been afraid she was hurt, but was unsure whether she should mention what she saw. Molly was only fourteen, and she did not notice the other substance that was on the underclothes, but Mrs. Jones did.

When Mrs. Gardiner was shown what her housekeeper had seen, she collapsed into a chair. She finally found her voice and said, “Mrs. Jones, please do not mention what Molly found to anyone else on the staff. Perhaps you could remove the stains before you give them over to be laundered. I am not sure what it means, and I want to ask my niece about this without causing any undue suspicion.”

Mrs. Jones and Mrs. Gardiner were very close. She and her husband had served Mr. Davies while his family was growing up. Mr. Jones had died just before Miss Madeline Davies married, and it was decided that Mrs. Jones would go with her to her new home in London. “Rest assured… no one will know what we found. Miss Elizabeth is a good, respectful young woman. I promise you complete discretion.”

Together they decided that Mrs. Jones would tell young Molly that occasionally there would be spotting between cycles of courses. Molly would be cautioned not to mention her findings to Miss Elizabeth because it would mortify her employer's niece.

Mrs. Gardiner asked Mrs. Jones, “Did Miss Elizabeth send a note to Darcy House this evening?”

“No, Mrs. Gardiner, she did not. There is one other odd thing about her clothes. Her brand new kid slippers are practically worn through the soles. It appears she has walked considerably in them.”

“That is odd, as I know today is the first day she wore them.” Mrs. Gardiner did not have the heart to mention these findings to her husband that evening. She needed to have another conversation with Elizabeth about what happened at Darcy House. Men always wanted to insist on revenge or marriage when women were compromised. There was no one to avenge Elizabeth except her husband. Elizabeth's father could barely see, and she had no brothers. The Gardiners' children needed their father.

Elizabeth was such a good, sensible girl. She had to get to the bottom of what had happened before she involved anyone else in the family.

Chapter 10 - Good Morning Heartache

Elizabeth Bennet finally gave up trying to sleep just before dawn. She sat on the ledge of the window and stared out at the last of the night sky. If she were in Hertfordshire, she could go walking. Hopefully the weather would be pleasant today, and she could go to the park with Thomas and Marianne. Avoiding her aunt and the questions she was sure to ask was uppermost in her mind. She hoped her explanation last night would stop the questions about why Mrs. Darcy did not call or invite them to tea. She hoped Anne was not so cruel that she would try to continue their friendship and bring her into company with the viscount again.

When it was light, Elizabeth wrote to her sisters and parents. Each one of them got their own letter. She made sure the letters were joyful, even though she felt anything but. She told her mother and sisters of the latest London fashions, and how many women no longer wore bonnets, but instead wore hats with a decidedly Oriental look. Shawls with ornate embroidery were very fashionable again, especially in an Indian motif. Copies of periodicals showing the latest fashions were promised. She told her father of seeing the Rosetta Stone and amazing sculpture from Egypt, Greece and Rome at the British Museum. She told everyone how much she missed them and hoped she would return to them soon.

Once her letters were complete, it was still half an hour before anyone would be down for breakfast. Lizzy sat at her dressing table, looking at herself in the mirror, and continued her thoughts from the night before. All night she had struggled to make sense of what had happened and tried to envision how she could gain control of her life. Yes, she had lost her chastity, but more important she had lost control; not that she had a great deal of control before, but at least she had been able to go about in the world and feel confident she would not be harmed.

Marriage was now out of the question. How would she ever convince her mother she could not marry? She dreaded the first time she had to embrace her uncle or even her father... and she loved them. She would never be able to allow a man wholly unconnected to her to touch her other than getting in and out of carriages; but how would she avoid calling attention to her aversion. How did women bear the marital bed? It seemed a very high price to pay for financial security.

Spinsterhood would be enjoyable if only she had a little money. Perhaps once her sisters were married, she could talk her parents into letting her be a governess. She laughed at herself in the mirror. What a daft idea. She would not be able to risk going into the home of a wealthy man... totally unknown to her. She could never again go through what she endured yesterday. She even wondered whether she should end her despair. Her family would rally, and her shame would definitely die with her. She chastised herself for such dark thoughts; with time she would conquer this despair.

For some unknown reason, her thoughts drifted to Mr. Darcy. He had never been present any of the times she had met with Anne. Was he part of her entrapment? Was he licentious like his cousin, and as she had come to believe… his uncle? He had seemed concerned about her yesterday. Had he walked the whole way to Cheapside to protect her; or to make sure his family was not exposed for their depravity?

Lord Wolfbridge slept late. Once fully awake, he remembered his conquest of yesterday. He had decided to act immediately because he had heard from Anne that the little one would be going back to the country soon. He had always charmed his prey in the past, but this time he was forced to pounce. Her fear had been great, but she had not reacted exactly as he had hoped, and the experience was not as pleasant as he had anticipated. She did not struggle. He had wanted her to struggle. There were a few times she had cried and moaned... that little bit was enjoyable.

Now he had to deal with Anne… what a nuisance she was. She had confronted him and asked him what had happened. He assured her he had just talked with Miss Bennet, but Anne would not desist. She told him Darcy had confronted her, and she was worried he would find out she had allowed him to be alone with the young woman. She told him Darcy had come to her quite agitated because the young woman was very distraught, and might possibly have been injured. Anne accused him of tricking her, and asked why Miss Elizabeth would act so strangely if they only talked. Because of years of practice, he was able to quickly find a plausible lie. He told his cousin how unhappy Miss Bennet was when he told her there could be no future for her with him. Next she told him not to tell Darcy he was in the house yesterday during Miss Bennet's visit. How did Darcy even learn of the chit's visit? He was such a prig. The last thing he needed was his cousin pestering him about whether anything had happened between him and Miss Bennet.

How was he to find some little girl he could have as a mistress once he was married? On the other hand, a little girl mistress was both a contradiction in terms, and about as likely as a pig with wings. He would just have to keep his hunting practices alive and well after he married. His father had accomplished a whole series of seductions since he had married... of course he was not interested in little girls. He had much more mundane interests... His father enjoyed demure, tall, blond statuesque young beauties. His father had wasted so much money over the years on his dalliances... now Edmund had to economize. On the other hand, at least he did not have to waste time with an occupation like Richard. Miss Harding's dowry would give him some much needed cash to play with.

Just then, he had a delightful thought... he would get dressed and go to White's. He would enjoy telling his cronies about the little country girl who helped with her buttons. That was the best part of yesterday. He remembered watching the wheels turn in her silly little low class brain as she tried to figure out how to save her gown. Good God... she had said she was worried about her sisters. When would women understand they were created for only two purposes... playthings and broodmares?

He was lucky it was March. He had a tremendous desire for oysters.

Fitzwilliam Darcy had slept very poorly. He wished he was in Derbyshire. If he was, he could go riding and exhaust himself. He knew he could ride in London, but it was not the same. He was very disturbed about yesterday. It was his house, and he was responsible for the well being of the guests. She was a child. He was sure Anne had not told him the truth. She knew something more about the incident, and she felt guilty about it. He knew he should pursue the truth, but he did not want to create unpleasantness within his family.

How sad such a lovely young woman would be so unstable. She was allowed to come to his house without a chaperone. He wondered whether her parents had been as lax with her as her aunt and uncle had been. Anne had hinted Miss Elizabeth had become enamoured with his cousin as many women had and implied the realization he was too much above her in consequences probably caused her to become disheartened. He had never gotten a definite answer whether Edmund or Anne had told her there could be nothing between them. Anne had insisted Edmund was not home yesterday.

He decided to go for a walk, and found himself tracing the path of their journey to Cheapside. He had forgotten to inquire of his driver her exact address. He had no intention of visiting her, but he was somehow drawn to the vicinity. He wished he could find out if she was well.

He saw a small park on a residential street called Gracechurch. It was lined with pleasant houses... not grand like those around Grosvenor Square, but well maintained and quite large. The day was pleasant, but still a little breezy. He decided to sit on a bench to rest before walking home. About ten minutes later, he saw a young woman enter the park with two children… a boy and a girl. They were entering from the opposite side and did not notice him. It was Miss Elizabeth. She was without a bonnet, and only had a shawl over her frock... no red cloak today. They had a kite, and she showed the boy how to run to let the wind catch the sail, and then let out the string as it began to soar. He smiled when he saw they had made the kite look like Puss in Boots. Puss had a long tail attached that swung jauntily in the breeze. The little girl clung to Miss Elizabeth's skirt and watched with fascination. Once the boy had the kite flying, he offered to let the little girl fly it for a while. She clapped her hands and twirled around with excitement before doing a very credible job for one so small.

Miss Elizabeth seemed somewhat subdued, but determined the children in her care would enjoy themselves. It was obvious to Darcy the children loved her. He was momentarily overcome with a desire to have his own children...to make and fly kites with them. Sadness came over him as he watched the trio. What if he and Anne never had children?

On the way back to Grosvenor Square, he decided to stop in at White's. Maybe he would meet up with some acquaintances. He suddenly felt the need to be distracted.

Anne Darcy had been unwell most of the night, and decided she would stay in her room today. She did not want to be questioned by Fitzwilliam, because she was sure Edmund had hurt Elizabeth. She could see the truth in his eyes when she had confronted him last evening. It was not guilt she saw, but some kind of smug satisfaction that she did not understand. Somehow she knew enough to realize something had happened that had pleased Edmund and caused Elizabeth to become distraught.

It was only yesterday they had given each other permission to use their first names. She knew instinctually she would have to give up her friendship with Elizabeth. She started to cry... she had never had a young woman for a friend. She was such a sweet, supportive person, and Anne knew it would be hard to find anyone like her among her acquaintances within the ton. Anne suspected she had been beginning to accept her as part of her inner circle that included her sisters and her friends, Charlotte and Becky. She had mentioned corresponding... now that would never happen. Why had she let Edmund convince her to do such a horrible thing, and what should she do about it?

She was petrified Fitzwilliam would find out she had left Miss Elizabeth alone in Edmund's sitting room. She knew the honourable thing to do was to confess her guilt and tell her husband what she suspected their cousin had done... but she was not sure what he had done. He was a viscount, and an honourable and respected member of the the highest circles. She could not believe he would compromise a fifteen year-old girl.

He had related events of yesterday that luckily coincided with what she had told Fitzwilliam. He had told Miss Elizabeth how much he admired her, but as he was talking, she misunderstood and became overly excited and embraced him. He pushed her away and told her there could be no future between them. She collapsed, and he had given her some water and tried to console her. When she appeared to have herself under control, he suggested she leave.

Anne asked, “Cousin, did you order a carriage for her?”

Edmund smirked at the question and answered, “I did not think it necessary. I assumed she had come in her own carriage.”

Anne could not believe how callously uncaring Edmund was. She wanted to be out of his presence, so she concluded their interview and returned to her room to ponder what had happened to Elizabeth. Edmund said she had embraced him…that would explain the smell of smoke. He positively reeked of it... that and the port on his breath. She had never noticed his odour before. His teeth, smile and flattery had always dazzled her, but now she was struck by the fact that for such a charming, handsome man, he did not realize that smell also played a role in how one was perceived.

She hoped Fitzwilliam would not be able to put the smell of smoke together with Edmund. If he did, she would have to admit it was possible Edmund had been home and might have been in Miss Elizabeth's presence for a few moments. What would explain her injury? Edmund had said she collapsed…maybe she hurt herself when she fell.

Anne had tossed and turned all night... she had been tortured by the loss of Elizabeth's friendship and feelings of guilt. Their friendship had been giving her confidence, and she had looked forward to their trip to the modistes the coming week. Now they would never shop for gowns together. Elizabeth would go home and have her sisters and her friends. Anne, on the other hand, would be left with an indifferent husband, a sister who was still a little girl, and she was now sure, a thoroughly disreputable cousin who smelled of tobacco smoke and port.

Anne thought about Elizabeth's cousins. Mrs. Gardiner had let her hold the baby. Even though she was petrified of giving birth, she had to admit it was pleasant cuddling baby Susan. The baby had looked up at her with big blue eyes, broke into a smile and gurgled. Perhaps it was time to become serious about producing an heir. She was determined she would not be like her mother. If she had a child, she would make sure he knew he was cherished. She felt sure the baby would be a boy, and he would love her in a way that no other person ever had. He would love her as Fitzwilliam had loved his mother. She wanted to spend the rest of her life loving him and letting him learn and have all kinds of experiences. Yes, she would protect him, but she would not smother him. He would grow to be a great man who controlled two estates.

If Anne encouraged Fitzwilliam to come to her more often, maybe he would forget about trying to find out what happened to Miss Elizabeth. With this thought in mind, she finally drifted into sleep.

Continue on to Next Section

© 2008 Copyright held by the author.

Brave New World of Toil and Trouble ~ Section II

By Beth M

Beginning, Section II, Next Section

Chapter 11 - Don't They Know it's the End of World?

Mrs. Gardiner said nothing to her husband in the beginning. She had so little evidence of something happening that day at Darcy House that she originally decided her best course of action was to observe. Not wanting to force a confrontation with the Darcys or Lord Wolfbridge if it was not necessary was uppermost in her mind. Elizabeth was definitely not herself. In those first weeks, she asked numerous times if anything was wrong, and each time the answer was the same. Elizabeth assured her aunt she was fine and evaded the truth by saying perhaps she was just a bit homesick.

Elizabeth played with the children as usual, but Mrs. Gardiner was certain she was simply going through the motions. Even Marianne noticed and asked her mother what was wrong with Cousin Lizzy. She told her mother that when she told them a story, she did not use any voices.

About three weeks after the day Lizzy went to Darcy House alone, she tried to eat breakfast, and almost immediately had to excuse herself. Her aunt went to her and found her lying on her bed with a cold compress on her head.

“Aunt Gardiner, I feel quite sick this morning as well as being fatigued. Would you mind if I stayed in my room for a bit?”

“Do not worry, Lizzy, the nurse and I can manage the children. Get a good rest, and we will see you later in the day.”

During the next three weeks, Mrs. Gardiner observed that Lizzy was both nauseous in the morning and excessively tired on an almost daily basis. Elizabeth assumed it was part of the sadness and guilt she felt at allowing herself to be violated. She should have fought. Honourable women fight when they are about to be compromised. She was sure she had read that in novels.

Mrs. Gardiner asked Mrs. Jones to inquire of Molly when was the last time Miss Elizabeth had her courses. Mrs Jones told Molly she needed to make sure she had the proper supplies on hand. Luckily Molly did not seem to find the question unusual, and readily answered that it was two months ago. Mrs. Gardiner knew the situation had reached a point where she had to inform her husband about what she feared had happened to their beloved niece.

She told him in the privacy of his office after dinner. He asked numerous questions about the circumstances, which of course Mrs. Gardiner had no knowledge of, other than the stains on her clothing, the despair she exhibited and the very recent physical symptoms. Mr. Gardiner was devastated at first, and then ranted at the nameless person who had hurt his niece. He despaired over telling his sister and brother. Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner felt certain Lizzy had been violated, but both instinctually knew she had not been to blame.

Once calm, Mr. Gardiner began thinking of next steps. He knew the Darcy and Fitzwilliam families were formidable opponents if it came to a confrontation. He decided to have an acquaintance make some discreet inquiries to see if a young woman was being gossiped about by the servants at Darcy House or in any of the clubs about town. They agreed they would wait for the results of the inquiries and perhaps more definitive evidence of a baby before confronting her.

Four weeks later, the first results of the inquiries had been favourable for avoiding a scandal. There was no gossip at Darcy House, but the physical evidence definitely kept building to support her being with child. The morning sickness and fatigue had not abated, and Lizzy's spirits were still depressed.

Despite her distress, she continued to entertain her cousins. She could not deny them the pleasure of the park as April showers gave way to the beauty that was May. Marianne had become proficient enough to fly the Puss in Boots kite by herself. Lizzy and Thomas launched the second kite they had made... a spectacular red dragon, spewing fire from his mouth and possessing a magnificent tail with a spike on the end. They had affixed scales all over the dragon that flapped in the breeze. Uncle Gardiner had found some kind of sparkly material from which to make them. They named the Dragon, Llywelyn, after their Grandfather Davies. Thomas and Marianne told her he was a very kindly man, but looked quite frightening with eyebrows that grew in every direction and silver hair as bushy as a lion's mane. He did not spew fire, but his voice boomed.

While keeping her cousins occupied with kite flying, Lizzy was allowed to rest on a bench and just observe her cousins. Several times in the distance, she thought she saw a tall man in black across the park. The thought of being watched by someone who could be Lord Wolfbridge made her heart race, and her breathing become laboured. Whenever she would look again, the man would be gone.

Two and a half months after Elizabeth's visit to Darcy House, Mr. And Mrs. Gardiner asked Elizabeth to join them in Mr. Gardiner's study. Elizabeth was hoping they would talk about her returning to Longbourn. She needed to confide in someone, and knew the only person she could even consider sharing her humiliation with was Jane.

“Elizabeth, what happened to you the last time you visited Mrs. Darcy?” Mrs. Gardiner tried to keep from looking accusatory.

Elizabeth had become adept at keeping a placid countenance over the last two and a half months. She said, “I do not know what you mean. Nothing happened except the quarrel I told you about.”

“You are not telling the truth. I know something happened to you.”

“How do you know that?”

“Because I fear you are with child.”

Lizzy looked uncomprehendingly. “That is impossible. I am not married.”

“Elizabeth, you do not have to be married to have a child.”

“Aunt, cannot we talk about this alone? I do not want to talk about this with my uncle here.”

Mr. Gardiner gave her a stern look. “Elizabeth, I need to be here so we can find a solution for your dilemma.”

Elizabeth looked nervously at her uncle. “But I do not have a dilemma, and I am uncomfortable talking about such things with you present. I think it is improper. I have never talked about these things with anyone but Aunt Gardiner and Jane, and a very little bit with Mama.”

Mr. Gardiner continued to look at his niece with an unyielding gaze. “I am not leaving, Lizzy. Your aunt and I both need to find out what is going on.”

The standoff between the two lasted several minutes, and finally Lizzy spoke in a tremulous voice. “How is it possible to have a baby if you are not married? I thought first you become a woman when you get your courses, and then you are ready the way Mama said. Then when you are married and come together in the marriage bed, you are able to have a baby.”

Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner looked at each other in the stark realization of the naivety of their favourite niece. Mrs. Gardiner said, “People who are not married can do the same things married couples do.”

“Yes, but God would not bless it and give them a child.”

“Unfortunately, making a child does not require God's blessing.”

Elizabeth looked stunned for a few seconds, and the Gardiners watched as her certainty disintegrated. She collapsed on the floor sobbing. They watched in horror as she began rocking back and forth and pounding her head against her uncle's desk. Mr. Gardiner got on the floor and pulled her to him in an embrace. She struggled to push him away. She pounded her fists against his back, and shouted “let me go” but her uncle steadfastly refused to remove his arms. He was determined to keep her from hurting herself. She continued to fight him, but he was in the end stronger, and she finally settled and sobbed quietly.

After about ten minutes, she pulled back from her uncle and stood up. She spoke quietly as she paced - more to herself than her aunt and uncle. “How could God abandon me and my family? I have been good. I have always honoured my parents... I have not stolen nor murdered. I did have private thoughts that Lord Wolfbridge and Mr. Darcy were handsome, but I do not think I lusted. I am not even sure what lusting is. It doesn't seem fair that he would punish me for something I did not even know I was doing. I know... it is because I was proud... oh so very, very proud, and I should have fought... God must have wanted me to fight. If I had fought, God would have protected me. I was just a prideful girl and had no faith in him. The whole time I never once prayed... just thought about hiding my humiliation.” Lizzy started another chorus of keening and rocking. When she calmed a second time, her next words were punctuated by hiccups and sniffling. “I have ruined my family, and oh, oh, oh, my poor sisters. How will Mama and my sisters survive when Papa dies? No one will want to marry any of them now that I am a disgrace.”

“Elizabeth, I know you are distraught, but you must tell us what happened.” Her uncle guided her to a chair. “Would you like some water?” She nodded, and he poured her a glass from the carafe. “Niece, did Mr. Darcy do this to you?” Mr. Gardiner asked. She looked uncomprehendingly at him with big round eyes still laden with tears.

His wife was annoyed with his assumption. “Husband, why do you assume it was Mr. Darcy? Why do you not question Lord Wolfbridge's honour?”

“Because Lord Wolfbridge will one day be a peer, and he will play a role in shaping the policies of our nation. More importantly, Mr. Darcy paid a great deal of attention to Elizabeth that night at the theatre.”

“Yes, but Mr. Darcy has not been seen by either Elizabeth or myself since that night, and Lord Wolfbridge has. I am also not as certain as you that his rank makes him honourable.”

Elizabeth drank the water while her aunt and uncle sparred. When she had finished, she put down the glass and began her narrative. She told the story beginning with Mrs. Darcy coming to pick her up, and finished the story by telling of her walk from Grosvenor Square to Cheapside with Mr. Darcy following her.

Her aunt and uncle were momentarily speechless. Her aunt spoke first. “Mrs. Darcy left you alone so you were accessible to Lord Wolfbridge? How despicable.”

With the haunted look of the Ides of March on her face, Lizzy said, “Aunt, Uncle, I need to lie down. I am overwhelmed by the news, and I must think about what this means. I promise I will talk to you again soon, but right now I am going out of my mind with fear and anxiety, and I need to rest. Her head was throbbing, and it hurt as badly as she had ever experienced. Lizzy slept, or tried to sleep, through the entire day and night. She awoke the next morning with a tear soaked pillow and a resolution for her future. She hoped she could persuade her aunt and uncle to go along with her plan.

Posted on Wednesday, 28 May 2008

Chapter 12 - I'd Rather Be a Hammer than a Nail…Yes I Would…if I Only Could

“Aunt, Uncle, you must help me. I do not want to marry Lord Wolfbridge; and you must agree it is unfair to this child to ever know who its parents are. I have thought of nothing else but this baby since yesterday. At first, I just wanted it to go away; but the more I pondered my dilemma, the more I realized that was not possible. I soon came to feel that this child is innocent and deserves the same chance as other babies with parents who would care for and support it. It needs a chance, regardless of the foolishness of its mother or the cruelty of its father.”

Lizzy's countenance hardened, her eyes narrowed into slits, and she practically spat out her words. “I was silly to be flattered by the attention I was receiving from such prestigious personages, but I committed no impropriety. Lord Wolfbridge is a predator. He told me he wanted me because I looked like a child.”

Mrs. Gardiner shuddered at her statement. Lizzie softened and gave her a sad smile. ”I know I am young, but even I know that is depraved. When I think back, he purposely waited until everyone was occupied somewhere else to ask me questions about whether I was naughty as a child and whether Papa often had to punish me. I thought he was teasing me. Like a foolish child, I thought his teasing and his smile meant I was special. I will always hate him… hate... not be indifferent to... I mean truly hate. I know this is a very unchristian thing to say and feel, but I would kill him if I thought I could get away with it. I do not want this babe to know the truth about how much its mother hates its father.”

Elizabeth bowed her head. Her uncle was sure if he could see her face, he would see tears. His wife was openly crying, and he could feel tears welling in his own eyes. She was right - Lord Wolfbridge was depraved. He had taken this beautiful, lively, happy, girl, and tried to break her spirit. The next moment, Lizzy lifted her head, and he saw not tears, but determination. Mr. Gardiner was sure she would never be the same joyful spirit from before; but her look showed she was not broken.

Elizabeth continued, “All last night I tried to decide what was most important. My priority is to give this baby as good a life as I am able; and I know that a good life can never be with me. I am requesting your help to find a way to cover my disgrace, not for my sake, but to preserve the good name of our family and give this child the chance it deserves. I am reconciled that I will never be able to have the life I hoped for - but you, my cousins, my sisters, my parents and this babe must be allowed to enjoy all that this exciting new age has to offer. Please help me find a place I can go for my confinement that will protect our family from scandal. Do you have any ideas about who could take the baby?”

Mrs. Gardiner looked at her husband before she started talking. “Elizabeth, your uncle and I have also given considerable thought to your dilemma. We both feel the most prudent thing to do would be to at least try to get Lord Wolfbridge to marry you. However, your point about concern for the child is valid. Even though I think marriage would be the best thing, I am quite positive he would refuse, and we would risk exposing your circumstances to a wider public. If that happened, his family would weather the storm of scandal and disapproval, but ours would not. Those from the highest circles are always forgiven their indiscretions... particularly if the compromised is from a lower stratum. You are right to be concerned about your sisters.”

Mr. Gardiner scowled as he said, “I had an acquaintance, Mr. Thatcher, make some inquiries. I wanted to find out whether Lord Wolfbridge had mentioned compromising a young woman to anyone. He did talk about the incident at White's, but did not mention your name. None of the staff at Darcy House has been heard gossiping about his taking advantage of a young woman. If your father and I confront him to force him to marry you, we definitely run the risk of exposing the incident. Your aunt is right that our family, and particularly your sisters, would suffer much more than the viscount if your violation became public.”

Mrs. Gardiner smiled at her niece and said, “Elizabeth, your uncle and I have thought of a plan to raise the baby as our own. You, Susan and I will go to Derbyshire to my family. My Cousin Jamie is a physician and can deliver the baby. He and my Aunt Wilder have a small and loyal staff, and have no near neighbours. My family is very adept at keeping secrets. My father, aunt and cousin will all be very sympathetic to your plight... particularly when they learn you were violated by a viscount.”

Her smile turned to a more serious demeanour as she continued. “Before we leave, we will disclose to family, staff and friends that I am with child, and that you are needed to help me through what is proving to be a difficult confinement. Once I am in Derbyshire, we will communicate that my cousin thinks it unwise for me to travel, and you and I must remain in Derbyshire until I have given birth. You have been very persuasive, and your uncle and I plan to concede to your wishes and not tell your father the truth. Once you are back in Hertfordshire, no one will ever know. Is that acceptable?”

“Oh Aunt, Uncle, you are truly wonderful to help me, and your plan is perfect. With remarkable parents like you, this baby will grow and thrive in such a loving home. I do have one request... I want to confront Lord Wolfbridge and the Darcys and make them pay. You should have help raising this child, and I would like to force them to give enough, that something can be set aside for Mama when Papa dies. I was thinking of asking for three thousand pounds from each for my silence.”

Mr. Gardiner put his arm around his niece, and this time she did not flinch. “Lizzy, you run the risk of having your situation exposed. My business is thriving. Your aunt and I can afford to raise this child, and I am prepared to help my sister when the time comes.”

“Uncle, you have always been kind and generous to our family. Your way is to always look forward and plan for any eventuality... unlike my father. I love Papa, and I am glad he has taught me so many things, but you are who I plan to strive to be like in the future - protective, loving, devoted to my family, and most importantly keeping my pride under good regulation. I will be proud of what I accomplish, and not who I know. With this six thousand pounds, I know you and I can make it grow and prosper to help with the babe's and Mama's future.”

The Gardiners conceded to Elizabeth's wish. Mr. Thatcher made additional discreet inquiries to find out useful information about both the Darcys and Lord Wolfbridge. Mr. Gardiner wrote a note to Mr. Darcy requesting a meeting with Mr. and Mrs. Darcy and Lord Wolfbridge. He thought about using his solicitor to make the request, but Lizzy felt strongly that no lawyers be involved to ensure secrecy. Within two days, Mr. Darcy agreed to the meeting for the following Tuesday.

Elizabeth dressed carefully once again for her trip to Darcy House. This time she chose to be more sedate and hopefully businesslike. She chose a new gown of beautiful green silk. It had no ornamentation, and only caught the eye because of the novelty of the fabric. It appeared to have a wavy, watery pattern woven into the material. Her Uncle Gardiner had come across the silk at one of his friends' warehouses and brought some home in ivory and green. He was hoping to get one of the textile mills where he had contacts to duplicate the fabric. It was imported from France and called moiré, and she and her aunt had been allowed to have gowns made. Elizabeth chose the green because it enhanced the colour of her eyes and set off her hair. The only adornment she wore was the garnet cross her father had given her for her fifth birthday.

Once settled in the carriage, Elizabeth asked, “Uncle, please allow me to conduct the negotiations. I know Mr. Darcy and Lord Wolfbridge will think it inappropriate for me to speak, but I am hoping if I tell the story, I can at least get Mrs. Darcy feeling guilty. I think she was very thoughtless, but I also think she is afraid of her husband finding out what she did. I do not know why, but I am hoping Mr. Darcy is at least slightly honourable. According to Mr. Thatcher, Mrs Darcy is quite wealthy, and I am hoping Mrs. Darcy will be particularly susceptible to my appeal. As you know, I have rehearsed my approach numerous times, and with the intelligence Mr. Thatcher provided about Lord Wolfbridge, I think I will be able to convince them to give me six thousand pounds.”

“Lizzy, I have confidence in you, and I know you are persuasive. You convinced your aunt and me not to tell your father. I should not be letting you do this, but I am aware how much anger you feel. I hope you are successful so you might be able to feel at least slightly vindicated. I too want something on your behalf from Lord Wolfbridge and Mrs. Darcy, and this is certainly preferable to fighting a duel. Please tell me one last time what is most important.”

“I have not forgotten… even more important than getting reparations from Lord Wolfbridge and Mrs. Darcy, is the necessity to maintain the honour of our family. I love my sisters too much to jeopardize their futures. In the past week, I have thought a great deal about the necessary steps to ensure secrecy. Most important is that all correspondence and settlements should go through you because there will be much less suspicion of what the money is for. I do not want the name Bennet to be used at all, even as an address to me. Both today, and in the future, I will only identify myself as Miss Elizabeth.”

Elizabeth grinned at her uncle and said with bravado, “Lord Wolfbridge needs Miss Harding's fifty thousand pounds. He has a lot to lose if this affair comes to light, and Mrs. Darcy is culpable.”

Chapter 13 - Her Pound of Flesh

Mr. Gardiner and Elizabeth were shown into Mr. Darcy's study. Lord Wolfbridge and Mr. and Mrs. Darcy were surprised to see Elizabeth. Mrs. Darcy looked worried, Mr. Darcy looked confused and Lord Wolfbridge looked irritated. Mrs. Darcy and Lord Wolfbridge were sitting in chairs on one side of the fireplace, and Mr. Darcy was sitting behind his desk. Elizabeth was relieved to see no lawyer present. The fewer people who knew about what had occurred in this house three months ago, the less likelihood of a scandal. It was not a matter of her own reputation. She thought of her life as unimportant in the scheme of things, and was already planning to spend the rest of her time on earth doing what was best for her sisters, parents, the Gardiners, and of course, this babe she was carrying.

“Miss Elizabeth, Mr. Gardiner, please have a seat.” Mr. Darcy gestured to the two chairs on the other side of the fireplace.

Elizabeth and Mr. Gardiner sat, and the others in the room looked expectantly at Mr. Gardiner. Elizabeth waited a few seconds and then began to speak. Mr. and Mrs. Darcy and Lord Wolfbridge were startled that Elizabeth was to address them.

In choosing her dress that morning, she had debated whether she should call attention to her childish looks or appear more sober and mature. She had settled on appearing somewhere in between. Her gown was modest, but she noticed Mr. Darcy looking intently at her... possibly even admiringly. She was unsure at what he was staring. Was it her audacity to be speaking or was it her recently increased bosom that was capturing his attention. It was hard to tell with him, since he seemed to be trying to keep his expression regulated; but she did notice that he would move his eyes away from her only to have them return a few seconds later, and more often than not they were riveted on her décolletage. Good Lord, having him admire her had not been part of her plan! She had hoped to appear businesslike. The last thing she needed while she was carrying out these negotiations was to be worried about the other cousin getting lascivious thoughts. One likes them small, the other likes them big. What was wrong with this family?

She had practiced for days... schooling her face to show no emotion. She did not want to become emotional and let her words betray the anger she felt. “Lord Wolfbridge, Mr. and Mrs. Darcy, I am with child. I was violated by the viscount three months ago in this very house. The baby I am carrying is the result of that encounter. I told no one of what happened here last March until my aunt and uncle made me tell them. I very much wanted to keep the incident secret from everyone. My father had only two expectations of me. He wanted me to remain chaste and not be silly. I experienced the ultimate humiliation that afternoon; I failed my father on both counts. Obviously I am no longer chaste. Even worse, I was incredibly silly.”

Elizabeth let her face relax into a very slight sneer; nothing too impertinent, but something that allowed her audience to know the disdain she felt for their status. “My silliness was exhibited in the pride I felt to be receiving attention from such great persons as you. All three of you come from prestigious and ancient families, and you, Lord Wolfbridge, will one day be a peer. I was flattered you would want to associate with a country lass like me. All I have to recommend me is a father who owns a minor estate and numerous relatives in trade.”

Her face went back to her unemotional mask as she continued. “I was not knowledgeable enough at the time to realize that a child could be the consequences of Lord Wolfbridge's attentions. My aunt first noticed what was happening to me. I thought the sickness in the morning and the constant tiredness was caused by my sadness at failing my family. Unfortunately, the fact that I will soon be increasing forces me to disclose my circumstances to the three of you.”

The Darcys looked shocked, and Lord Wolfbridge merely looked annoyed at the news. Elizabeth did not hesitate, but focused a steely glance on the viscount and continued with, “You need not fear that I intend to force you to marry me, Lord Wolfbridge. I can assure you that event would be much more repulsive to me than it could ever be for you. My aunt and uncle thought marriage between us would be the best solution, but I was able to convince them that this baby deserves a better life than being saddled with a mother who will forever entertain fantasies of the father meeting Madame Guillotine, and a father who has already acted on his fantasies and now thinks the mother has as much significance as the last pheasant he shot.”

Elizabeth stood and positioned herself so Mr. Darcy could see her better. “The Gardiners and I have devised a plan which will allow the world to think this child is theirs. My parents know nothing, and will never know what happened here in this house three months ago, or that a baby was the result. Never fear - my uncle and I are both firmly rooted in the 19th century. We think it quite proper that duels have been outlawed. They are really only fashionable amongst those who are unable to see beyond the past. No one will ever call you out. I have no brother, and my father can barely see. I am, however, demanding six thousand pounds for my silence. You will give me my pound of flesh, or I will go to the Earl and Countess of Matlock and tell them all the sordid details of what happened between us. I will look and act as much like a child as possible. As you know, I love the theatre. I am a very good actress; and I will cry - I will blush - I will stammer - I will have trouble describing what happened; but believe me, in the end they will know just how depraved you are.”

Lord Wolfbridge smiled at Miss Elizabeth. He was trying to convince himself that he need not be afraid of this silly little girl taking her tale to his parents. His father knew of his indiscretions, just as he knew of his father's, and he had always been able to convince his mother of his innocence in the past. Any women who had threatened exposure in the past were always clearly from outside their circles, and most were older. In his Oxford days, many were young, but then he was young, and none of those indiscretions were ever brought to his parents. He had paid whatever small remunerations were demanded out of his own spending money. It was only recently, he had become emboldened to lower the age of his prey. Each time he had felt compelled to make the game more dangerous.

In the past, his parents had just enough arrogance to believe the others had been avaricious in their intentions from the beginning. His father always admonished him to be more careful in his associations because they did not have the money to pay off every chit he compromised. On the other hand, his mother had originally believed he had just foolishly associated with the wrong people, but each time it happened, she became less forgiving. His mother was a Darcy, and was cursed with that ridiculous code of honour that had been passed down from generation to generation. She and his father were forever arguing over how to treat the tenants. Plus, she was a typical woman, and not much of a thinker.

Miss Elizabeth's age and status was a concern. Her father was a gentleman. She was not a shopkeeper's daughter as most of the others had been. She did look extremely young, and his mother would probably be influenced by her looks and the fact that she ended up with child. He was afraid, knowing his mother, she might insist he do the honourable thing and marry her; she was anxious for grandchildren. Miss Elizabeth was much more intelligent than any of his other conquests, and he was sure she could be very convincing. His mother had liked Miss Elizabeth when she met her. Oh well, he would just have to be a bit more facile and persuasive in his explanation. He was still quite adept at charming his mother.

Elizabeth looked right at Mrs. Darcy when she spoke next. “They will know how I happened to be in this house that day. They will be told how I happened to be alone with Lord Wolfbridge.” Anne Darcy turned deathly pale and gripped the arms of her chair. She looked at her husband and saw that he was looking at her questioningly. She quickly averted her eyes.

Anne was consumed with guilt. Over the months, she had convinced herself that Miss Elizabeth had not been compromised that day... she was just disappointed in love. She now steadfastly tried to believe the viscount had not planned to violate Miss Elizabeth. Why had she foolishly arranged for them to be alone? Edmund had told her he admired Miss Elizabeth and wanted a few moments for a private conversation. He had said he knew there could never be anything between them, but she deserved to know of his admiration. She was still very young, and knowing that a viscount thought her charming would be good for her confidence. Anne suddenly felt nauseous... what a fool she was for believing Edmund's ridiculous lie.

Miss Elizabeth had always exuded confidence. She did not need Lord Wolfbridge to tell her she was charming. She was like no one Anne had ever met. She was an odd combination of ease and liveliness in conversation with new acquaintances of both sexes. She had confided in Anne that she thought herself too young to be out for the purpose of securing a husband... and marriage had clearly not been on her agenda. Why had she allowed her cousin's charm to convince her to do something she knew to be nonsensical; only to find it was utterly dishonourable and immoral? What would Fitzwilliam think of her? There had to be a way to keep her role in this quiet.

Elizabeth's next statement wiped the smirk from the viscount's face. “My uncle does a great deal of business with a Mr. Harding. He is a wealthy manufacturer of textiles from Manchester. My uncle will make sure that Mr. Harding knows that you are not an honourable man, Lord Wolfbridge. He will particularly make sure he knows that he should be concerned for his daughter.”

Fitzwilliam Darcy could not believe the cold, calculating look in Miss Elizabeth's eyes. They were still that amazing green colour, but the gold flecks seemed extinguished, and instead, her eyes glittered like emeralds. Her body was changing as well. Was that because she was with child? What an irony - the child becomes a woman as she carries the child. Five months after he met her, she looked much less like a child and much more like a woman... a calculating, mercenary but increasingly sensuous woman.

He had gone to the park on Gracechurch Street several times in the past months. He would sit on a bench on the other side of the park from where they generally played and just watch them. He had noticed she was not very lively and seemed to have to sit down much of the time while her cousins played. Twice he was sure she had seen him, so he left immediately. Why could he not conquer his concern for her? If only he had never met her, his life could go back to being predictable.

Anne had used the last few minutes to come up with a plan. She jumped up and said, “Lord Wolfbridge, will you take Mr. Gardiner and Miss Elizabeth to the drawing room? I need to talk to Mr. Darcy alone.”

With a slight sneer, Elizabeth looked from Lord Wolfbridge to Mrs. Darcy to Mr. Darcy and said, “I refuse to go to anywhere with Lord Wolfbridge. If you do not object, I will take my uncle to the solarium and show him the orchids. We will be there when you are ready for us to return.”

Darcy was annoyed and amazed at her audacity. She was going to show her uncle the orchids in the midst of this tempest.

Posted on Wednesday, 4 June 2008

Chapter 14 - A Good Man is Hard to Find

Once they were gone, Anne said quite forcefully, “I want to give Miss Elizabeth twenty thousand pounds, and I want to raise this child as our own. Do not try to dissuade me; you know I brought much more than that into this marriage with my inheritance. Nobody else needs to know. She said they were not even telling her parents.

“Please stop looking so sceptical. We have been married for three years, and I have not become with child; and as you know, I am petrified of giving birth. This child is of our blood and can be our heir.” She spoke in a rush, not allowing Darcy to stop her words from tumbling out.

She took his hand and looked at him beseechingly. “Please Fitzwilliam, I want this child. Miss Elizabeth said they have a plan. We should be able to substitute ourselves for the Gardiners. You must also help me to coerce Edmund into giving Miss Bennet three thousand pounds. He will insist he can not afford such a large sum, but we both know the money is there if he economizes. What he has done is despicable. Please, please Fitzwilliam, this baby deserves to be part of our family.”

Darcy had indeed been looking quite sceptically at his wife. “Anne, what happened that day? What did she mean she would tell Uncle Henry and Aunt Cassandra how she came to be here that day?”

Anne tried to remain calm and give her answer nonchalantly. “I told you what happened when you questioned me before - the day she insisted on walking home. I had no knowledge anything had transpired. She came to see me, but I was not feeling well and left the room for a short while. When I came back, she was gone. I assumed she had left. I was unaware Edmund was in the house. I am bewildered as to why she thinks that news will have an impact on the earl and the countess.”

Darcy noticed that Anne seemed nervous and more than a little guilty - just as she had when he had first questioned her about Miss Elizabeth's visit. He was sure he was not being told the full story, but he did not know what to do. Anne was probably right… they should raise the child. He felt a need for children; and it seemed as though he and Anne were not going to produce any in the near future… or maybe ever.

He was sure that this horrible event happened because of lack of supervision by the Gardiners; and it was now evident Miss Elizabeth had not been given proper guidance by her parents. She had given him some excuse why she was alone that day, but he could not remember. Edmund's mother was his father's sister, so this child had both Fitzwilliam and Darcy blood. It would be unconscionable to have this child raised by people in trade. The Gardiners had seemed intelligent, were dressed tastefully and had excellent manners when they met; but in the end, breeding always tells.

“I will agree, Anne; but I think the amount excessive. We should only give her ten thousand pounds.”

“Please, Fitzwilliam, do not argue with me. I want this baby, and I want to give her twenty thousand pounds… and I think it only right that Edmund give her three thousand.” Anne thought to herself that he may think twenty thousand excessive, but she knew it would truly be more appropriate to give her thirty thousand pounds… wasn't thirty pieces of silver the price for betrayal?

Fitzwilliam shrugged his shoulder in acquiescence. “I will agree; but I want to spend as little time with Edmund as possible in the future. He will not be welcome to stay with us anymore. Regardless of whether the young woman agreed to be alone with him, helped with her buttons or consciously hoped to wrench filthy lucre from a viscount with poor control… I feel he has acted ungentlemanly. She is very young, and he had no business agreeing to whatever scheme her unstable mind concocted.”

“Fitzwilliam, I could not agree with you more. I wish I never had to see Edmund again. He is not honourable; and I can not believe I had always thought him so charming.” She turned her face away from her husband and fought back tears. She thought to herself… and I am as dishonourable as he is.

Mr. Darcy sought out Miss Elizabeth and her uncle in the solarium. As he entered, he overheard the two talking about what would be needed to build such a room. Darcy was annoyed that it appeared she was so sure of her success extorting money from them that she was already planning what she would do with her bounty. What a ridiculous extravagance. Miss Elizabeth obviously had no financial sense. It did seem strange that Mr. Gardiner seemed to be sharing her enthusiasm. He had seemed to be a particularly savvy businessman.

Elizabeth and Mr. Gardiner followed Mr. Darcy back to the study. Anne was waiting for them with an apprehensive look on her face. She and Darcy had agreed that he would present their proposal. Anne held her breath waiting for husband to begin.

He put on his most serious and haughty mask and said, “Miss Elizabeth, Mr. Gardiner, we would like to present an alternate proposal. My wife and I would like to substitute ourselves for the Gardiners and raise this child as our own. This child would be our heir and have all the advantages we can provide. Just as with your plan, this child would appear to the outside world as ours. We are prepared to compensate you twenty thousand pounds and convince our cousin to contribute an additional three thousand pounds. We will also ensure complete secrecy. It would not be in any of our interest to have our plot known beyond ourselves.”

Elizabeth felt a surge of fury run through her body at Mr. Darcy's words. For the first time that day, she could not keep her face from displaying her emotions. How dare they think she would sell this child to them? She had come to demand her due in return for her silence about the vicious and dishonourable behaviour of their family. Now he was standing here, casually proposing that she give them what had been conceived so brutally. She could tell by his demeanour that he cared nothing about what she had endured; and he and his disreputable wife only thought of solving their need for an heir for a measly twenty thousand pounds. Who did they think she was that she would allow this innocent and helpless child to be raised in a nest of vipers?

Elizabeth reined her features back to a placid countenance before she spoke. However, she was unsuccessful in keeping the fury from her eyes. “Your proposal is quite out of the question. You are not worthy of raising this child. I miscalculated. I thought you to be honourable; and would see the justice of paying me for my silence, but obviously I was wrong. If you are not willing to give me six thousand pounds for my silence, my uncle and I will be on our way. I hope I can at least expect you to be honourable enough to keep silent about my disgrace at the hands of your cousin.” Elizabeth noticed that her uncle appeared to think she was being too abrupt. Mr. Darcy looked confused and then angry, and Mrs. Darcy looked about to collapse.

Anne Darcy had tears in her eyes as she captured Elizabeth's hand. “Please do not reject our proposal so quickly. I know there are many things that have not been said to explain why you should accept our proposal. Please, Mr. Gardiner, go with my husband. Leave me alone with Miss Elizabeth. I have things I need to tell her; things I should have told her long ago.”

The two men left Anne and Elizabeth in Mr. Darcy's study. Mr. Gardiner gave Elizabeth a look that advised her to listen and not act precipitously as he left.

His look encouraged Elizabeth to allow Mrs. Darcy her private audience. She did not think there was anything she could say that would convince her to give this baby over to the Darcys, but perhaps she had acted hastily, and she should at least keep channels open in order to be successful in getting payment for her silence.

Anne twisted her handkerchief and looked forlorn as she began speaking. “Elizabeth, I want to apologize.”

Elizabeth stiffened at the use of her Christian name. She had given her permission, but was amazed she assumed she was still allowed despite her betrayal.

Anne saw her reaction and started again. “Miss Elizabeth, I want to apologize. I did not know what my cousin intended. He told me he wanted a private audience in order to tell you of his admiration. He knew there could never be anything between you; but he said he felt knowing of his admiration would give you confidence.”

Lizzy looked at Anne with utter contempt, and shook her head in disbelief.

Anne's tone became one of pleading. “Miss Elizabeth, I know I should have been more discerning in acquiescing to my cousin's request. I am not experienced in the ways of the world. My mother refused to allow me to have friends or attend the Season. I did not even have masters to teach me to be accomplished. My cousins were my only companions when I was growing up; and I was usually only in their company at Easter and Christmas. The two summers I spent at Pemberley were the most magical time of my life.”

Lizzy stared intently at Anne as she continued her explanation, but did not allow her face to register any emotion. “I went from my mother's home to my husband's. Mr. Darcy agreed to come to town with me this winter, but he eschews visiting acquaintances because he feels very ill at ease in London society. Lord Wolfbridge volunteered to help me become more comfortable. I have no experience with rakes, even though my husband did confide some rumours he had heard about our cousin. I knew not what to make of his disclosure since my cousin was always very charming toward me.”

When Anne's pleading came to an end, Lizzy looked her straight in the eye and said, “Mrs. Darcy, I find your explanation oddly touching, but I think it a lie.”

Anne looked at the ground while she struggled to figure out how to convince Elizabeth she was not totally dishonourable and could be trusted with this baby. Her apology was sincere; but convincing her to relinquish the child was her main objective.

Elizabeth looked stern as she began making her speech. “Mrs. Darcy, I say you did not tell the truth because even if you believed your cousin, you can not convince me that you do not know the rules of propriety with regard men and women. It was totally improper to allow me to be alone with Lord Wolfbridge… even if all he did was talk to me and tell me of his admiration.” Lizzy rolled her eyes and sneered at the absurdity of Mrs. Darcy's contention. “Being alone in his presence was enough to compromise me. If a servant had come in while we were alone together, we would have been gossiped about, and my reputation would have been in tatters. I have four sisters, and my father's estate is entailed. Unlike you, we are not wealthy. Scandal would severely diminish my sisters' chances of marrying; and without secure marriages, they would face reduced circumstances, possibly even poverty, when my father dies”.

Elizabeth noticed that Anne had looked back up, and she saw tears in her eyes, but was unmoved. She had shed enough tears to float one of Lord Nelson's frigates in the past three months. She continued berating her, “Mrs. Darcy, my uncle had some investigations done; and he tells me you brought a great deal of wealth to your marriage, and I am sure you have a very generous allowance. You have opportunities I will never have. Once you were out of your mother's house, you could have hired your own masters, made as many friends as you desired, and if nothing else… you could have read books about proper behaviour. Your husband is guardian to his sister. Surely he must know about propriety and could have answered your questions. Did you ask him if I should be left alone with Lord Wolfbridge?”

Anne looked frightened at the mention of her husband. “No, I did not ask him. He did not know much about our friendship, and did not know we were having tea that day. I once told him I liked you and hoped we could become friends; but he knew none of the particulars. My impression was that he did not want to talk of you. Never had I related what the circumstances of our friendship were and I fear he would be very angry with me if he knew what I had done. I do not want to lose his favourable, albeit, indifferent opinion. He is the opposite of Lord Wolfbridge. He takes honour and obligations very seriously. He is much like his father was; a very good man.”

Anne sat down and put her head in her hands. For several minutes there was silence. Finally, she spoke again. “I know you think I would not be a fit mother; and you would possibly be correct if I were to raise the child by myself. I am not alone though, and Mr. Darcy would be an excellent father, just as he is an excellent guardian to his sister. May I tell you about Mr. Darcy?”

Lizzy nodded and sat down in anticipation of Mrs. Darcy's tale. Her anger toward Mr. Darcy had subsided. She still thought his arrogant manner unforgiveable; but for some reason, she had a desire to know about him. From the moment they had conversed at the theatre, she had felt some unknown emotion for him. It was more than thinking him handsome, but she could not discern what it was. She was unable to sketch his character.

Chapter 15 - A Tale of Two Families

“My mother's sister, Lady Anne, was my husband's mother, and Lord Matlock was their brother. The Fitzwilliams are an arrogant group, with a few exceptions. Lady Anne was an exception, as is Lord Wolfbridge's brother, Richard. Lady Anne was publicly loyal toward her siblings; but my mother says in private she voiced her disapproval of both. She spent her youth reading, becoming proficient on the pianoforte, learning to sing and applying herself to becoming an accomplished young lady.”

Anne's face became distorted by something bordering on contempt. “My mother thought those things unimportant. She decided she did not have to apply herself because she would be desirable as a marriage partner because of her appearance and her position. She now loves to tell everyone how she could have been supremely accomplished, but circumstances did not allow for that. What she should say is she was arrogant and indolent.”

Anne's faced registered some misgiving as she continued. “I do not want to give you the impression that Lady Anne was not proud of her family. She was, and she had been my mother's constant companion when they were young. As they grew older, they drifted apart because they wanted different things. Lady Anne wanted a loving husband and children, my mother wanted prestige and wealth, and their brother felt he was entitled to just about anything he desired. He was somewhat of a rake, and Lady Anne thought his behaviour toward women reprehensible. However, it was not the way in their family to talk about his actions outside.”

Anne pointed to a painting of a beautiful young woman dressed in the style of thirty years before that hung facing her husband's desk. “That is she. My grandfather had this portrait and one of my mother painted just before they were presented at court. The artist was George Romney, and it certainly captures her beauty. I prefer the painting of Mr. and Mrs. Darcy and a five year-old Fitzwilliam by Gainsborough that hangs in the portrait gallery at Pemberley. The three of them look so happy, and Gainsborough even included their dog, a beautiful spaniel that Fitzwilliam named Puck because he was so mischievous.”

Anne smiled at the painting for a few seconds and then turned to Elizabeth. “Mr. Darcy asked Lady Anne four times before she agreed to marry him. She was prejudiced against him because her brother wanted them to wed. Mr. Darcy and the earl had been acquaintances at Oxford. Lord Matlock wanted to marry Mr. Darcy's sister, Cassandra, because she had a dowry of thirty thousand pounds. In order to facilitate his goal, he wanted his sister to marry Mr. Darcy because despite not being titled, he was very wealthy. The Fitzwilliams' wealth had been diminishing with each generation; unlike the Darcys'. My uncle promoted the marriage between my parents for much the same reason.”

Anne chuckled at a memory from her youth. “According to my mother, Lady Anne enjoyed being in company with Mr. Darcy because they shared similar interests, but that did not stop her from refusing him. They were great readers, they were passionate about the theatre and they loved to ride; but she was convinced no friend of her brother could be honourable. She never disclosed to Mr. Darcy the source of her reluctance, so he just kept proposing. Each attempt was different.”

Anne got a sort of a dreamy look as she told the tale of her father-in-law's final proposal. “Finally Uncle George won her over with his fourth proposal. He recited a detailed list of everything he loved about her. He counted the ways. I think there were at least twenty on the list. I do not remember all of them, but I remember several that she particularly liked. She loved to tell the story, and her eyes would twinkle as though there was something naughty about it. He told her he loved that she never came late to the theatre, and when there, she was not afraid to laugh out loud. He told her he loved the way she sipped her tea and he loved that she refused to bother with people of her sphere she did not find worthy. Her favourite one was, and she really twinkled when she related it, that he loved her excellent seat, and how impressive that was considering she had to ride side-saddle. He won her because not once on the list did he mention how beautiful she was. He had waxed poetic on her beauty numerous times in the other three proposals.”

Elizabeth thought the tale of Mr. Darcy's parents interesting; but she really wanted to hear about Anne's husband, so she decided to try humour to hurry her along. “Mrs. Darcy, this is all very interesting, but you told me you were going to tell me why Mr. Darcy is a good man, and why he would be a good parent. So far all you have told me about are his parents, your mother and the earl. Is this your way of turning the tables to get me to accede for your silence?”

Anne could not help herself and laughed at Elizabeth. “I apologize for the delay, but Mr. Darcy's parents influenced his character just as my mother bears some responsibility for my failings.”

Clearing her throat, she began her tale again. “I told you earlier that I spent two magical summers at Pemberley. It was glorious because my mother was not there either summer, nor was the earl; but my Aunt Cassandra, the countess, came with Edmund and Richard. Those summers I got a glimpse at what family life could be like. The Darcy family was truly like the Gainsborough painting. They were happy. They rode together every morning and they took long walks together with their dogs. Lady Anne played every evening, and we all sang. My aunt and uncle would read to us, and they made the stories come to life by portraying the different characters. Fitzwilliam started reading with them when he was very young; and he would sometimes be a part of the story. Both summers we had a Midsummer picnic, and my aunt and uncle would be Titania and Oberon and the rest of us would be their fairy subjects. My husband let Edmund be Puck to get him to participate, but even with that plum role as an inducement, by the second summer he thought it unseemly for him to be a fairy. My cousin Richard and I thought it glorious; especially since my Aunt Cassandra made wings for us to wear.”

Anne noticed that Elizabeth was enjoying the depiction of the scene she had painted of their idyllic summer. She smiled at Elizabeth as she continued. “Mr. Darcy still grieves for his parents. I barely remember my father, so I have no idea what he feels. I do know if my mother died tomorrow, I would probably feel some sadness because she was my mother, but it would not last long. Mr. Darcy's sadness is magnified by the extent of his loss. His longing to get back the joy he once felt consumes him at times.”

Anne made very sure she kept Elizabeth's eyes focused on her as she continued. “He has tried to recreate that kind of joy for Georgiana, but he has not been altogether successful. His wounds have not healed, so he walks around with a face of stone. I think you have mistaken that look for arrogance. Currently, Georgiana is the only one who gets his love. Both of them need someone wholly unconnected to the past to take away their sadness. They need someone who could join them in their Darcy rituals of playing chess, reading Shakespeare, telling stories, doing voices, enjoying music, walking and riding. A baby would be both an obligation and a source of joy for Fitzwilliam. He is a man who rigidly honours his obligations; and I have seen him when he is joyful. I know he wants to be that way again. Remember back to the night he met you. That was the Fitzwilliam Darcy I knew before his mother died. He so dearly loved to laugh.”

Elizabeth was convinced. She prayed she was making the right decision. Her instincts were telling her she was. Mr. Darcy was a good man, and he would make sure this baby was both well provided for; and more important, loved. She felt a pang of regret that the child would not be in her life as it would have been had the Gardiners raised it. She was quite sure her pain would decrease… out of sight, out of mind… or at least she hoped that was the case. Her family needed this money. This was an enormous amount, and would solve many of their financial dilemmas. She had to be practical. The twenty three thousand pounds would allow her to take care of her mother and increase her sister's dowries.

Posted on Wednesday, 11 June 2008

Chapter 16 - The Unsinkable Elizabeth Bennet

Mr. Gardiner had written to Mr. Bennet, telling him of an opportunity for Elizabeth in Derbyshire. An elderly widow friend of Mrs. Gardiner's father and aunt, one Mrs. Thomas, needed a lively companion to read to her and write letters. She had been told of Elizabeth's talent for reading and telling stories using voices by Mr. Davies; and once she had heard of her abilities; she had been determined to have no other. Elizabeth would be paid a thousand pounds to be her companion until just before Christmas. The widow Thomas was quite wealthy, and Aunt Gardiner's cousin was her physician. She had been diagnosed with a chronic and degenerative illness and was not expected to live long. The unprecedented sum Elizabeth was to be paid was due to the finality of her circumstances and a desire to enjoy her last days. Elizabeth would be in a remote area of Derbyshire and would not be in any company but that of Mrs. Thomas and Mrs. Gardiner's family. Mr. Gardiner assured his sister and brother that this opportunity would leave no stigma of being in service on their daughter.

This elaborate charade would lay the basis for the inheritance Elizabeth would receive. The widow Thomas would be so taken with Lizzy that she would leave her a large sum that Mr. Gardiner would invest in order to secure Mrs. Bennet's future.

Mr. Bennet had replied to Mr. Gardiner with doubts, but grudgingly agreed to let his favourite daughter, right arm and eyes delay her return to Longbourn. He agreed that the compensation was too great to be ignored. Elizabeth, sensing his displeasure, had written to her parents before leaving for Derbyshire with the hopes of assuring them this was the right decision.

July 14, 1806 - London

Dearest Mama and Papa,

I have heard from my aunt and uncle that you are concerned about my taking this position with the widow Thomas. I miss you and my sisters, but I am of the opinion this opportunity is fortuitous.

Mama, I know you will be angry with me, but I feel I am not ready to be out. London taught me that I am not yet comfortable in the presence of strangers. I know I would be a disappointment to you. I am not even sure I ever want to marry, but I do know for sure I am not ready now.

As Mrs. Thomas' companion, I will be paid handsomely. The one thousand pounds in compensation will be a welcome addition to Jane's dowry, I am sure. She deserves to make a great match because, unlike me, she is both good and lovely.

I am looking forward to seeing the peaks. Aunt Gardiner has promised me that her family will ensure I see some of the spectacular views in this country. You know how I love looking out from a high prospect. It always makes me wish I had learned to draw. If I had Kitty's talent, I would be able to share the sights with you when I return for Christmas.

Papa, I am glad to hear Mary is such a success as a substitute for me. I am suspicious though, since I am sure she wrote your letter and is reading you mine. How am I to trust those are your true feelings? Please, for the good of the estate, you two should limit the time you spend arguing theology. One thing I am positive about is that she is even better at the accounts than I ever was. She has always been able to add things so quickly in her head, and as you know I always have to do my sums on paper.

Not to forget Lydia, please give her a kiss for me. Aunt Gardiner tells me Mr. Davies, her father, has a wonderful store that sells all manner of delightful things. Tell her I will be bringing gifts when I return.

Christmas will be here sooner than you know. It will be especially joyful to be reunited with my beloved family. We will truly have ourselves a merry little Christmas.

Your loving daughter,
Elizabeth

Elizabeth knew she would have to be the consummate actress when she returned. It would be hard with what was ahead of her to be joyful at Christmas.

In the last week of July, the entire Gardiner family and Lizzy set out for Derbyshire. Mrs. Jones had left the day before with their luggage. Elizabeth had not had any additional clothes sent from Longbourn. Elizabeth's bump was still quite small, and her gowns hid the evidence of her fall from grace quite well. She would have to deal with her wardrobe at some later juncture.

Thomas and Marianne had barely slept in anticipation of the journey. They had paraded around the house the night before, singing of the trip. “We are off to Derbyshire in the morn, in the morn” and “to Taid's house we go, to Taid's house we go, our trip will be delightful, to Taid's house we go. Both Thomas and Marianne had a penchant for repetition. Mrs. Gardiner explained that Taid was an affectionate Welsh term for grandfather. The children had begged their parents to be allowed to take the dragon kite they had made to show him. Marianne had confided in her mother that she was looking forward to the journey because Cousin Lizzy, while still sad, had started using her voices again when telling stories.

Lizzy, for her part, had been reading up on Welsh mythology to add to her repertoire of stories. She particularly liked the story of Rhiannon. Even though she would have preferred to be home in Hertfordshire, her circumstances dictated the trip to Derbyshire, and she was determined to enjoy her time with Aunt Gardiner's family.

Her aunt had prepared her by telling her a little about Mr. Davies' Welsh heritage, his deep religious convictions as part of the Welsh Methodist revival movement and her family's love for music. Lizzy learned that Dr. Wilder and his mother had been forced to abandon their estate in Ireland and seek refuge with her brother. There was a mystery about their departure that she had not been told, but she assumed all would be revealed in time. She was to live with the Wilders until the end of her confinement, when she would be secretly taken to Pemberley for the birth.

The trip was enjoyable with two stops at Inns for the night en route, as well as numerous stops to allow the children to run around and expend energy. Miraculously, the sickness in the morning and the excessive tiredness had disappeared. She was feeling much as she had before April, except she definitely was getting larger in places… not just her belly, but also her bosom, and even her hips and bottom. It was as if this child was forcing her to become womanly.

Lizzy and the children used their leg stretching time to full advantage. The weather was fine, and they played tag and leapfrog, and at one of the stops they watched a young man playing with a wooden disk on a string. The young man could make the disk magically go up and down, and Thomas was fascinated. The miraculous object was called a bandalore. When Thomas pointed out the young man to his parents, he was surprised to find that his father knew of the toy. He promised he would get one for him, and together they would learn how to make it spin up and down the string. Of course, Marianne insisted she too should get to play with the toy, and even Lizzy wished she would be able to learn to create such magic that seemed to defy Newton's laws of gravity.

On one leg of the journey, the children napped and Elizabeth had the chance to peruse her letters from home. Despite the letter to her father from Mr. Gardiner and her letter to her parents, her family continued to be concerned with her absence. Jane, in particular, seemed perturbed. She chastised Elizabeth for not being at home to be her confidante. Her relationship with Jane was what Elizabeth regretted most about her situation. Before she learned she was with child, all she dreamed of was being home and unburdening her soul to her sister. Now that would never be.

Elizabeth was excited when the first sight of the famous peaks came into view. She knew they were getting close, and she wondered at the myriad of changes that had happened to her in the last five months. She thought about all that she had lost, but was resolved that she would not allow herself to be defeated. She would never have the life she dreamed of that night at the performance of The Tempest, but she would prevail… she would survive. She was apprehensive of what she would experience next, but whatever it was, she was determined to become stronger because of it.

When they arrived at Mr. Davies house, there was a letter waiting for Elizabeth from Jane. Lizzy put the letter in her pocket to wait until later to read. She was anxious to hear her sister's news. Her last letter had told her of Mr. George Trent, who was Tom and Becky's cousin. The thought came to her that her relationship with her sister would prove to be another example of collateral damage from the viscount's violation.

Mr. Davies was just as her cousins had described him. He was not a particularly large man, but his presence seemed huge. Elizabeth thought it was because his head was very leonine; and his voice did indeed boom. She could almost hear him singing the hymns Mrs. Gardiner had told her he loved so dearly. The house was as large as Longbourn and was called Taliesin. The housekeeper was Mrs. Jones' daughter. She herself was also Mrs. Jones, and she looked like a younger version of her mother. Old Mrs. Jones, as everyone in Mr. Davies house now referred to her, had arrived the day before from London.

Elizabeth asked her aunt if Mrs. Jones was offended by being called Old Mrs. Jones. Elizabeth soon got a lesson in Welsh culture when Mrs. Gardiner explained that since there was a paucity of surnames in Wales, it was not at all uncommon to put some identifier in front of or behind the name. She told the story of her grandfather, who had emigrated with her father from Merthyr Tydfil when her father was a young man. Her Taid had been known in Merthyr Tydfil as one-eyed Mr. Davies because he had lost an eye due to an accident when he was a child. The whole practice seemed a bit rude to Elizabeth, but she decided when in Rome, do as the Romans do, should be her outlook.

Within hours, everyone in the household had taken the liberty of calling her Betty bach. Her aunt told her it meant little Betty which was a favourite diminutive of Elizabeth in Wales.

Young Mrs. Jones showed Elizabeth to her room. She was to stay here only a few days. On Sunday, she would go with the Wilders to their house. She wondered what kind of adventures she would have there. Young Mrs. Jones had told her that her sister Mrs. Hinton was both the Wilder's housekeeper and a midwife who worked with Dr. Wilder.

When she retired for the night, she took out Jane's letter.

July 20, 1806 - Longbourn

Dear Sister,
I hesitate to even call you dear. I do not understand why you have abandoned me. I need you desperately, and you are off enjoying yourself in Derbyshire. I know you told Papa that you would contribute the money you receive to my dowry, but I would much prefer to have you here to help me make sense of all the emotions I am experiencing. Mama says you are off on your contrary way, proclaiming you do not want to be out. I had so hoped after a brief sojourn in London, you would come home, and I could rely on you to help me navigate this unfamiliar terrain. You are so wise about evaluating the motives of others. I am sure it is all the reading you have done..

Elizabeth scoffed at the absurdity of her sister's statement. If she only knew how poorly she had judged the motives of Lord Wolfbridge and Mrs. Darcy.

Tom's cousin, George Trent, has come back to stay at Netherfield. He intends to stay through Michaelmas. As you know, he will one day inherit the Baronetcy. I am sure you remember from his last sojourn in Hertfordshire two years ago, that he looks and has mannerisms much like Tom. Just as before, he has paid a great deal of attention to me at the assemblies and the house parities. If you were here, you would be able to sketch his character and tell me whether he is sincere or not. This time with the pain of Tom's death less pressing on me, I must admit I find him very pleasing. Mama is forever telling me how much he admires me, and she is sure he is going to make an offer. She gushes on about how I will be the Mistress of Netherfield as I was always intended to be.

Unfortunately, I am not certain he is going to make an offer. I have this doubt about his intentions. You remember the last time he was here, he wrote some lovely sonnets for me, and he was and is forever telling me in poetic terms about my great beauty. He loves to read poetry to me, and I must admit he does have a beautiful voice. He puts great feeling into the words, but somehow it is not the same as the expressions of love I received from Tom. Please don't chastise me. I am aware both of us were very young and propriety would dictate against expressions of love, but they were made nonetheless.

Elizabeth stopped to ponder Jane's comment on propriety. Lately she had been thinking how ridiculous most of the conventions of proper behaviour were. They seemed to be at odds with reality. Elizabeth knew there had been the deepest love between her sister and Tom since they were four and five respectively. She was very sure they had never had any intentions of violating God's holy ordinances, but she was also sure they had needed to tell each other of their love and admiration… even when too young by society's standards for such confidences. She returned to her sister's letter with a feeling of regret that she could not help her with her dilemma.

In this way, George Trent is the opposite of Tom, and it confuses me. I think I could have been quite plain and Tom still would have loved me. He was not overly romantic, and he was so very practical; but the things he told me made me feel very sure about the depth of his feelings. He told me the Luna Moth you and I caught for him was the best present he had ever received. He told me someday we would make a wonderful life together and that we would make Netherfield a great estate again. He once left a note for me in the tree that was our childhood hiding place for treasures. He had written that he thought the goodness of my soul shone from my eyes. He left a rosebud with the note. Because of my love for the scent of flowers, he told me he was going to take me to Grasse some day. I will forever cherish the last thing he ever told me as we were out riding the day he became ill. It was such a small compliment, but so dear because he truly meant it. He told me he admired my seat, and he admired it all the more because I had to ride sidesaddle. After he complimented me, I could see the happiness on his face thinking of riding together for the rest of our lives.

Her last statement shocked Lizzy. Jane had never revealed this piece of information to her sister before. It was almost word for word what Mr. Darcy's father had told his mother in his final proposal. This thought distracted Elizabeth from her sister's plight and brought to mind the couple that would raise her child. She wondered why Mr. Darcy, whose parents obviously loved each other deeply, had decided to marry for convenience.

Mr. Thatcher had revealed to the Gardiners and Elizabeth that Mrs. Darcy's mother had been telling anyone who would listen since shortly after her sister's death that she had wanted the two to wed. Rumour had it that Mr. Darcy's father disputed her contention. Mr. Thatcher further told them that both Mr. Darcy and Mrs. Darcy had inherited great estates, and that Mr. Darcy had recently taken on the responsibility of running both of them. Was it greed? Would her child be raised to value wealth above all else? What did Mrs. Darcy mean that the way he was that night at the theatre was what he was like as a young man? Why had he stopped smiling and laughing, and why had he given up trying to attain joy and love? Not being able to come to any kind of resolution to the conundrum caused Elizabeth to put those thoughts aside and return to Jane's letter.

Elizabeth, please come home. I need you. Mama is putting so much pressure on me to encourage George Trent, but Becky says that I should be careful. She thinks her cousin admires me, but she also says she fears he needs to marry for money. I have great anxiety that my heart is going to be broken again. If that happens, what will I do without you to comfort me.

Your loving sister,
Jane

PS, I am sorry I said I hesitate to call you dear. You are the dearest thing in my life.

Elizabeth crawled into bed and sobbed. Yes, Lord Wolfbridge had robbed her of much more than her chastity. When there were no more tears, she lay there waiting for sleep, and thought about asking Mr. Davies to help her in procuring something she had been thinking about for some time. She wanted a sturdy knife she could carry with her wherever she went.

Chapter 17 - Lizzy Gets by with a Little Help from her Friends

Elizabeth took to the Wilders immediately. Dr. Wilder and his mother, along with Mrs. Jones' other daughter, Mrs. Hinton, and her husband and children came to Mr. Davies' on Sunday afternoon. All the family at Taliesin had gone to church that morning, but the afternoon would be devoted to another service in Mr. Davies home. Their society or fellowship was still a part of the Church of England, but definitely at odds on many tenets of faith. They were known as Jumpers because of their habit of jumping for joy during services. Elizabeth had heard of Quakers and Shakers, but never Jumpers.

The sermon Mr. Davies preached for the group seemed much more passionate than any she had encountered at Longbourn church. He preached in Welsh, so Lizzy had no idea what he was saying. She periodically looked over at her Uncle Gardiner, and they exchanged quizzical glances. Thomas and Marianne had been given permission by their mother to join in the jumping of Mrs. Hinton and her two children as well as several other members of the fellowship.

Mrs. Hinton's children were Griffith, a boy slightly younger than Thomas, and a girl, Angharad, slightly older than Marianne. Old Mrs. Jones had taken possession of her newest grandson, Morgan, only a month old. Lizzy was fascinated by how tiny he was. She was particularly amazed by his fingers and realized in less than five months, she would hold a baby even smaller.

Music was also very important to the service. Young Mrs. Jones played the hymns beautifully on the pianoforte. The tunes all seemed to be in a minor key and were beautiful with a haunting, melancholy sound. Mrs. Wilder accompanied her on the harp, and Dr. Wilder contributed with an instrument he called an Irish whistle.

Mrs. Gardiner took her cousin Jamie for a walk after the services. She did not want to be overheard by anyone, especially Lizzy. “Jamie, I am very worried. She is very young, and so very small. How much danger is she in? Her parents will never forgive us if anything happens to her.”

“She is small, but she looks sturdy, and her rosy complexion is an indication of health. Maddie, tell me about her mother.” Jamie led his cousin to a bench around the side of the house.

“Her mother had five babies, and she told me before Thomas was born that they were all relatively easy births. All were born within six hours of her pains beginning. Her mother likes to complain about imaginary ailments, but she has always seemed quite proud of her ability to deliver easily. What she was always saddened by was that she never had a male offspring. She felt very much that she failed on that score.”

“Has Lizzy ever been ill?”

“I think my sister said that she had measles when she was two. In general, all of the Bennet girls are remarkably healthy. I would not worry about Lizzy, except that she is young and tiny. She is very sad about her circumstances, but we have seen her rally a bit since she got the assurance of a significant amount of money from the Darcys. What is your opinion of them?”

Jamie Wilder looked thoughtful as he said, “He appears to be a very good man, and very serious about being honourable. I was surprised when you wrote about this business. The Darcy family is very well respected in Derbyshire. I am sure you remember the same from when you lived here. Both of Mr. Darcy's parents were greatly loved by their tenants and staff… the same is true of the son. I have not heard much about the present Mrs. Darcy. The prevailing gossip in the area wonders why he made a marriage of convenience, especially since his parents were gossiped about because they appeared to everyone to be very much in love with each other.

Madeline Gardiner laughed at her cousin. “Jamie, how did you become so knowledgeable of all the gossip in Derbyshire, and particularly about the goings on at Pemberley?”

Jamie's eyes could not hide the mirth he felt at his cousin's question, but he tried to answer her with a sober face. “It is a hazard of my profession. People just seem to want to tell me things. They are sick, or a loved one is sick, and they feel vulnerable, so they talk. As you know, Lord Hughes is one of my closest friends, and his steward, Mr. Reynolds has also become a friend. Mr. Reynolds is Mr. Darcy's housekeeper's brother. He is very knowledgeable about the goings on at Pemberley. He does not talk about anything improper, but he definitely is very aware of how the staff and tenants feel about Mr. Darcy.”

“Well, Cousin, the information you have imparted makes me hopeful the child will have a good life. I hope Lizzy is able to come to terms with the advantages of the Darcys raising the baby. I worry that she will come to regret the decision; and at times I catch her with her hand on her stomach and a faraway look on her face. I know she has bonded with this babe, even before she has felt it move. However, my biggest fear is that something will happen to her during childbirth.

Jamie gave his cousin a hug and when he released her, a huge grin crossed his face, and he said, “Do not worry, Bronwyn Hinton will feed her the most delicious food and make her strong, Mother will play for her and soothe her savage breast, I will charm her with my delightful Irish wit and she will be so distracted she will forget her troubles.”

Madeline Gardiner punched her cousin's arm and he doubled over in feigned pain. She was glad he seemed much more cheerful about his own sadness than the last time she had seen him.

Elizabeth was tearful in the carriage after she said goodbye to her aunt, uncle and cousins. She knew she would see them once more the following Sunday, before they returned to London, but she also knew moving to the Wilder's house was one more door closing. She was in the wilds of Derbyshire, among strangers, and knew not what to expect of the future. She turned her head so that Dr. and Mrs. Wilder could not see her tears.

Dr. Wilder knew she was crying but did not disturb her. He was very familiar with the need of those in pain to shed tears as a way to find comfort. She was a very courageous young woman. Mr. Gardiner had told him the story of her confronting the Darcys and Lord Wolfbridge to demand money. He liked that she had a bit of the rebel in her.

The Wilders' house appeared to Lizzy to be something out of a children's storybook. It looked like a cottage, but was much larger. Again the house was almost as large as Longbourn and was made entirely of grey stone. The front door was surrounded by an arbour of pink roses and there were beds of colourful flowers on both sides of the door. Elizabeth saw Holly Hocks in the back, fronted by Sweet William, Lilies, Alyssum and Fox Glove to name just a few. Mrs. Wilder told her that the flowers were her indulgence, and that Mrs. Hinton had a serious vegetable and herb garden in the back. She alluded to the fact that Mrs. Hinton was an amazing cook.

The house was shared by the Wilders and the Hintons. There also seemed to be little in the way of distance between master and servant. They seemed to function quite cooperatively, with a division of labour to keep the house running. Mrs. Hinton cooked, tended the kitchen garden and did some of the cleaning. Mrs. Wilder did some of the cleaning, kept the accounts and ordered supplies. Actually, she made lists and Mr. Hinton would go into Lambton and get what they needed. A woman came in twice a week to do laundry. The two men did the heavy lifting such as carrying the buckets of hot water for baths.

Reliable transportation was crucial to Dr. Wilder's practice. They had two carriages, a curricle and six horses because of Dr. Wilder's needs. Keeping everything running smoothly in the stables was Ferrell Hinton's main responsibility. He was the son of the blacksmith in Lambton. His brother was due to inherit his father's business, but Ferrell had learned from childhood to be a master blacksmith and ironworker. He could fashion almost anything from iron, and got many orders for decorative gates and even specialty cookware.

He had made his wife a Madeleine pan. She had learned to make the delectable little sea shell shaped cakes while working in the kitchens at Bryn Mawr, Lord Hughes' estate. Elizabeth quickly grew to love the cakes, and Mrs. Hinton made them a regular at tea to please their Betty bach.

Mr. Hinton's fifteen year-old sister had been staying at the house after Morgan's birth to care for Griffith and Angharad. In order to ensure secrecy for Elizabeth, she had been sent back to Lambton, and Elizabeth was given the job of watching the two older children. Elizabeth was pleased when she was requested to help with Morgan. She felt proud she was contributing.

Elizabeth enjoyed being a part of this household. There was a calm atmosphere that was missing from Longbourn. Their existence seemed to be ruled by Ecclesiastes and the verses she had loved since childhood. “To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven.” This was a house that brought life into the world and eased the pain of those who were about to leave.

Elizabeth quickly came to admire Dr. Wilder. He was not the most handsome of men, but he was in many ways the most pleasing man with whom she had ever been acquainted. He was of average height, with very dark hair and eyes. He explained the concept of “Black Irish,” but said his colouring probably came from his Welsh ancestry. Both his mother and Mr. Davies had the same colouring before their hair had become silver. Like both of them, he had an imposing mien with very pronounced features. In the end, he seemed one of those personages that were larger than life.

Elizabeth best liked the fact that he always knew how to accommodate his demeanour to fit the mood of his audience. Elizabeth determined it was an important trait for a physician. He was forever pulling her out of the doldrums with his wit and humour.

When he found out she was interested in the French Revolution, he gave her book after book to read, and spent much of their time together giving her history lessons. He related history much the way she told stories. It was not something dry and boring, or even her father's cynical interpretation; instead it was interesting and exciting. She also came to realize he was passionately partisan to one side or the other in the information he relayed.

Within days of her arrival at his house, she became Lizzy to him, and he became Jamie to her.

Dr. Wilder and Mrs. Hinton visited Mrs. Darcy once a fortnight to reinforce the belief that she was with child. The first time they visited after Elizabeth's arrival, Mr. Darcy invited Dr. Wilder to join him in his study for a conference.

Mr. Darcy looked a bit uncomfortable as he asked Dr. Wilder a few questions. He started by asking after Miss Elizabeth's health and whether the trip to Derbyshire had been taxing for her; but then he began asking what Dr. Wilder considered to be very inappropriate questions. He knew he must not allow Mr. Darcy to know he disapproved, but it was the first time in his acquaintance with the man that he thought him to be less than honourable. Dr. Wilder kept his face immobile as Mr. Darcy asked, “Does Miss Elizabeth seem happy about the circumstances of receiving payment? Does she talk about what she plans to do with the money?”

Dr. Wilder replied, “No, I have not heard her refer to the money at all. We have been quite enjoying ourselves discussing history. She spends her time looking after Mrs. Hinton's children and reading. Did you know she is an amazing story teller? I am not sure what the children will do when she goes away; they have quite fallen in love with her. She is still able to run and play with them, but I assume that will be coming to an end soon.”

Dr. Wilder continued, his face devoid of the disapproval he felt. “She is reading Edmund Burke's Reflections on the Revolution in France. I get the feeling she does not agree with him. She grimaces as she reads, and sometimes she even mumbles something about his ridiculous theory of prejudices and snorts.” Dr. Wilder smiled inwardly as he decided he would take a little liberty with his reflections. He said, “She is a very courageous young woman, and she seems to be determined to come through her ordeal stronger. I am sure that your investment will be safe.”

Mr. Darcy stiffened at his disclosure. He was very aware that Dr. Wilder's comments made him appear to be somewhat less than gentlemanly.

During the following week, Mr. Davies brought over two bandalores that Mr. Gardiner had sent for Elizabeth and Jamie to learn to use, and perhaps then teach Griffith and Angharad. It took them a few days to master the toys, but soon they had gotten quite proficient at making the disks fly up and down the string. Elizabeth had even developed a technique where she would spin the disk out horizontally. The children had been promised that they could begin to learn on the morrow.

Lizzy and Jamie were practicing their bandalore skills in the front yard to be prepared for their students the next day. Besides practicing, they were discussing the slave revolt in Saint-Domingue that had eventually led to the establishment of Haiti, the first black republic, two years before, in 1804. They discussed the tremendous fear that the successful slave rebellions and the retaliation against the white plantation owners had sent through the colonies. Jamie told Lizzy about the slaves great military commanders Toussaint L'Ouverture and Jean-Jacques Dessalines. As they talked, unconsciously both would punctuate their comments with the bandalore.

Lizzy was deep in thought as she started to comment on what Jamie had told her. “I would think the success of the slave revolts in Haiti would hasten the abolition of the slave trade, and maybe even slavery itself in the colonies. They are, I have heard, debating these issues in Parliament. Some day slavery will be gone with the wind… and to my mind, whenever it happens will not be a moment too soon.”

Just as she said, “not be a moment to soon,” she unleashed her bandalore, and it flew out on a swift horizontal flight and then came back to her with a snap. They had been so engrossed in their conversation, that neither had seen Mr. Darcy arrive. Elizabeth's bandalore just missed hitting Mr. Darcy at a spot about six inches below his waist. She was mortified. Dr. Wilder could tell she was mortified, but he also realized she was too naďve to understand the significance of her target. Dr. Wilder could barely repress a smile at the thought of her actually hitting that spot. Silently he chastised himself… he was, after all Mr. Darcy's physician.

A startled Mr. Darcy jumped back. Once again, Miss Elizabeth had bewildered him. He had expected to see her gleefully making plans to build her solarium or perhaps talking about buying gowns and bonnets galore, but instead she was discussing slavery and slave rebellions while being amazingly competent with a toy he had never seen before. She wore no bonnet, and her complexion glowed with health and a slight tan. He could see the slight protrusion in the front of her dress, and once again noticed she continued to look more womanly.

Elizabeth's look of mortification gave way to a look of confusion as to why Mr. Darcy was there, and Dr. Wilder wondered if there was something he did not know about this arrangement.

Chapter 18 - Strange Fruit

Posted on Wednesday, 18 June 2008

Elizabeth, once recovered from her mortification, said, “Mr. Darcy, I am sorry I almost hit you; but we were quite preoccupied with our conversation and our practice. We are to teach the children how to use these new toys tomorrow… I hope everyone at Pemberley is well.”

Mr. Darcy also was now recovered from the surprise of his near miss and said, “No, Miss Elizabeth, all are well. I thought I should come and welcome you to Derbyshire. Have you been to the peaks yet?”

“Oh yes, Jamie… eh Dr. Wilder and the Hintons took me last week. It was heaven being up so high and surveying the surrounding countryside. I have a favourite spot near my home, Oakham Mount, where I go when I need to think. I make all my best decisions there. It is not nearly as high as the peaks. I am sure if I lived near them, I could make truly spectacular decisions.”

Mr. Darcy, who was wearing his stone face, was inwardly perturbed that she called Dr. Wilder, Jamie. As usual, he did not understand why; but he felt the emotion all the same. By the time Miss Elizabeth had finished her observation of the peaks, her irreverent enthusiasm had caught him unawares, and a slight smile with dimples broke through his mask. He said, “What else have you been doing to occupy your time out here in the wilder part of Derbyshire?”

Elizabeth's face broke into her signature grin and she said, “Mr. Darcy, I do believe you made a pun. We are just enjoying the summer, and luckily for me, there are no neighbours around to observe and wonder at my presence.”

Darcy continued to smile slightly as he said; “I think it is lucky for me as well.”

Elizabeth was unsure how to react to his statement, so she ignored it and continued with, “As to what I have been doing precisely, I must admit most of my time has been taken up with the Hinton's children. Mostly we play traditional games, and I tell stories or read to them. Lately, because of the heat, I have been accompanying them to a swimming hole in a creek that runs through the woods in the back. Grif and Ang are great swimmers. I have never known children who swim so often. Back home, it is a stolen pleasure; but Mr. and Mrs. Hinton encourage them to play in the creek. Dr. Wilder or Mr. Hinton always accompanies us because I do not swim and would not know how to help them if something went wrong. The most I do is take off my shoes and stockings and wade.”

Elizabeth was disconcerted by the fact that he continued to smile at her ramblings. She remembered Mrs. Darcy's observation that as a child he had dearly loved to laugh. Suddenly she had a totally misplaced desire to continue to see his dimples; and even more, see if she could make him laugh. “I was quite startled one evening when Mrs. Hinton told me that Welsh babies who can not sing are drowned. She then told me with a very wicked smile that neither Grif nor Ang can carry tune; but she expected it explained why they were great swimmers.”

Elizabeth was successful. Mr. Darcy laughed, and for the second time in their acquaintance, she thought to herself how handsome he was.

Mr. Darcy was also indulging in thinking her delightful when suddenly her eyes went round with alarm. He heard her say, “Ooh” quite loud and grab her belly. Without thinking, he moved toward her. As he moved in her direction, she moved back.

She put up her hand with fear in her eyes, and said quite forcefully, “I am fine. I am just startled. It is the first time I have felt the baby move. I think it kicked me quite hard. Jamie has been telling me for the last several weeks to expect it, but I thought it would be much more gradual. This seemed as though it has been thinking and planning the best way to get my attention… perhaps even chastising me.” Elizabeth said the last thinking of her thoughts just before the baby moved.

Elizabeth allowed Dr. Wilder to approach her. He wanted to make sure it was a kick she felt, and not something more problematic. He stood quite close to her and asked her quietly to describe the feeling precisely. She answered him just as quietly. For a few moments they ignored Mr. Darcy

Mr. Darcy slipped back into his mask. Inwardly, he was annoyed she had acted afraid of him, and he resented that she did not have the same fear of Dr. Wilder, and what was more, she had slipped back into calling him Jamie.

Soon both Elizabeth and Jamie turned their attention back to Mr. Darcy. Dr. Wilder asked him if he would like to come in for some tea, but Mr. Darcy declined. He knew he needed to leave, because he did not like the way he was reacting to something that was not his concern. For months he had not understood his feelings for Miss Elizabeth, and he suddenly was overwhelmed with just how inappropriate it was for him to be here.

His words were abrupt, and addressed only to Dr. Wilder. “I must be getting back. My reason for coming was to bring Miss Elizabeth some volumes of Shakespeare from my library. I know how much she loves him, and I remembered you saying at your last visit to Pemberley that reading was one of her main occupations.”

Elizabeth tried not to frown. She was standing right in front of him, and he was talking as though she were not there. Once again, her impression was that he was displeased with her. He had seemed to admire her only moments before, and then just as quickly he seemed to disapprove. She had no idea what she had done.

She thanked him for the books, smiled, and curtsied to him as he left. He bowed, but said nothing as he mounted his horse. Elizabeth sighed once he was gone.

"Lizzy, what is there between you and Mr. Darcy? You and he seem to have a simultaneous attraction and antipathy for each other."

Lizzy shrugged her shoulders and looked at Jamie sheepishly. "You are right; at least with regards me. From the moment I met him, I felt very strongly that I wanted him to admire me.” Elizabeth chuckled as she continued. “Of course, I also wanted Lord Wolfbridge and Mrs. Darcy to admire me, and I could not have been more mistaken in that desire. Somehow, I felt the interaction with Mr. Darcy was different."

Elizabeth's face reflected her introspection. “With Lord Wolfbridge and Mrs. Darcy, I was proud that persons so important would have an interest in me. I probably was more like my mother than I care to admit. I know I relished the thought that I could brag about my important acquaintances once home in Hertfordshire.”

Jamie could tell she was trying to come to terms with her feelings for Mr. Darcy. “With Mr. Darcy, however, I thought he was reacting to me as a kindred spirit. He seemed pleased by something that was much beyond the surface. Sometimes I think it was my wit, and sometimes I think he envied the joy I felt. That evening I never once thought he admired me romantically; and I did not think our conversation was at all inappropriate, despite his being married. But my ability to judge people's characters… something I always considered one of my best traits has proven to be woefully lacking. Now I am not sure what he sees when he appears to like me, or what he is repulsed by when he seems to be displeased. I do know that today I was trying to get him to laugh, and even to admire me, because it makes my decision to relinquish this child easier. It will ease my anxiety when I am back in Hertfordshire if I can believe he does not think ill of me.”

Jamie took Lizzy's hands and said, “Why were you afraid of him?”

“Because he looks a great deal like his cousin, and I panic at the thought of being touched by men. You are an exception. As soon as I met you, I realized I had no choice in the matter, so I decided to get over my fears sooner rather than later.” Lizzy grinned at him as she continued. “It helped that you are such a pleasant man.”

Jamie returned her grin with a smile and said, “Thank you for the compliment; but I have been meaning to ask you a very serious question. Elizabeth would you like to keep this baby? I will marry you if you would.”

Lizzy squeezed his hands as she answered and captured his eyes with her gaze, “How kind and compassionate you are to offer.”

Jamie looked searchingly at her and said, “Lizzy, from the moment my cousin told me of the circumstances of your being with child, I have wanted to help you in any way that I could. You are brave and courageous, and your actions have been amazing considering your youth and the rank of Lord Wolfbridge. I have heard from my mother and Bronwyn that you have nightmares. I want you to know you have this option.”

Elizabeth seemed to be collecting her thoughts. She stared at Jamie for several minutes before she spoke. “I must say no for several different reasons. First, I have responsibilities to my family, and our marriage would appear very suspicious to them. I prefer my family never know of my humiliation. Besides, it is August and it would not be very believable if I wrote to them and told them I was married and expecting a baby in December... and by the way, I plan to live in Derbyshire for the rest of my days. If I wrote them that news, it would create a rupture with my family that I am sure could not be healed. I need my family; and I made this bargain to solve a financial crisis for them; and that is what I am going to do.”

Elizabeth smiled at Jamie and said, “I am still very young, and I am spending my time here trying to make sense of what has happened to me, and what, given the circumstances, I can make of my life. I am not sure I will ever be capable of being a wife or a mother. My entire outlook was crafted by interaction with my father. He is a cynic and a misanthrope, and he thinks he is smarter than others. I was like that, and then I brutally learned I knew almost nothing of the world.”

Elizabeth spent time reflecting on the Darcys before she began speaking again. “Second, you have assured me that Mr. Darcy is a good man, and is honourable towards his obligations. I am convinced he will be a good father. Breaking the agreement at this time would not be good for your career or your family's financial security. Third, you deserve to have a marriage for love, or at least contentment. Before, when we were discussing Mr. Darcy's strange behaviour, I could not help thinking that part of the reason he acts oddly is that he is not completely reconciled to a marriage of convenience. He made a decision that I think he regrets sometimes; but then he gets angry with himself because he thinks those thoughts dishonourable. The truth is, not honouring one's marriage vows is wrong. We can chastise him for entering into a marriage without out the appropriate care; but he is right to fight against his feelings. Today, I think we were watching the different aspects of that conflict. I believe he should not have married for convenience; and I am equally convinced neither should you… even if it is for my convenience.”

Elizabeth once again looked deeply into his eyes. “If we had met under different circumstances, I think we might have fallen in love. Currently, you are the person I admire most in the world, and I wish you were my brother. Besides, with what has happened to me, I know I could never be a wife to you in the full sense. You deserve to have a marriage like your parents. I do not know the details, but I can tell from how your mother grieves that it must have been a very powerful love.”

Mr. Darcy thought to himself as he rode home that the heat had been quite unbearable the last several weeks. The Hinton children had the right idea to go swimming as often as possible. His thoughts strayed to their companion wading in the creek in her bare feet. As usual, he became annoyed with himself at the thought. He was perplexed why she teased him and tried to make him laugh… could he call her actions flirting? What did it mean that the very next moment she acted afraid of him? She bewildered him.

He would be glad when the baby was born and she was back with her family. He could forget her. His thoughts were totally inappropriate. Was he like his uncle? He had made his Aunt Cassandra's life miserable. Was he to be just as dishonourable and make Anne's life miserable? He had married her precisely because she was miserable with her mother. At the time he thought it gave him a noble purpose in life. Had he helped her out of the frying pan into the fire?

He was excited about the baby. They were planning to have an artist paint scenes from the Perrault book so loved by Miss Elizabeth in the nursery. Anne had told him how she had learned French by reading those stories. When he learned bits of information like that about the baby's mother, he became so perplexed. It was so much easier to believe her without proper feeling. As much as he was anticipating the birth, he sometimes wished they had not agreed to this bargain. If they had just given her the six thousand pounds as she asked, she would be out of his life now.

As Darcy arrived back at Pemberley, he came to the spot where he and Wickham had swum as boys. He needed to refresh himself, so he stripped himself down to breeches and shirt and indulged in as she had called it a stolen pleasure.

Lizzy noticed that Mrs. Wilder had retired immediately after dinner; she had seemed quiet and withdrawn most of the day. Elizabeth knew there was some mystery about their leaving Ireland, and she hoped she would be able to find out what it was. As they sat having tea, she asked him, “Sometimes your mother seems sad. Has there been some tragedy other than your father's death in her life? She seems very like her brother, except for that hint of sadness I see sometimes. It is as though she is remembering something painful. I think I recognize it in her, and you as well, because try as I will, I cannot shake my own sadness at times.”

“It is all about why we had to leave our estate, Holly Hill. What have you heard about the Irish?”

Lizzy looked thoughtful and said, “I have not heard much. I remember Sir William Lucas said once in my hearing that the Irish were at it again… whatever that meant. I think I remember some people in one of the shops in Meryton complaining that the Irish did not know their place.”

Jamie chuckled at her words. “In order to explain why we left, I have to start at the beginning. Are you prepared for a long story?”

Lizzy nodded and relaxed back in her chair in anticipation.

Jamie drank a sip of his tea and began. “My father's family arrived in Ireland with Cromwell. Since the time of the Tudors, there had been a policy of clearing and plantation in Ireland.” Jamie laughed as he said his next words. “The Irish got a break from English intervention during the Hundred Years War and the Wars of the Roses. After they were over, the eviction of native Irish from their land and confiscation of their property became the proscribed method to ensure that Ireland remained loyal to the crown. The enclosures in England left many without land, and to solve both that problem and the need to control Ireland for both revenue and conscripts, they turned Irish land over to Englishmen.”

Elizabeth noticed that Jamie had begun calmly, but was becoming more passionate in the way he was telling the story. He seemed to spit out the next bit of information. “Cromwell was no easier on the Irish. He personally sacked Drogheda and Wexford, and many were killed and transported. He said only armed combatants were killed, but history disproves his contention. How can you explain that thousands upon thousands of orphaned children were slave transported to the West Indies?”

“Why did they not fight back when their land was confiscated?”

“They did, and Irish history is full of reprisals against the English landlords. Did you ever read Edmund Spencer's The Faerie Queen?”

Lizzy wrinkled her nose at the name Edmund. She answered Jamie, “I did, but I can not say I remember much about it. It was not a favourite of mine.”

“Spenser had to flee for his life with The Faerie Queen unfinished, because raiders came and burnt down the confiscated house in which he was living.”

Elizabeth laughed at the image he had created. She imagined Spenser running across fields with the manuscript under his arm… perhaps in his stocking feet.

Jamie smiled at her laughter, but then became very serious, and with a hint of anger, he continued. “At the time of Cromwell, the country was left destitute with whole counties depopulated. The expression Get to Hell or Connaught comes from that time. Cromwell had once made a memorable reflection on the landscape of the west of Ireland. He said the area had neither water to drown a man, a tree to hang a man nor earth to bury a man. Now the expression has become the cynical reflection of what the Irish people felt were their choices at the time… no choice at all. For a period of time, because of the devastation, my ancestors were able to live peacefully on their confiscated land.”

Jamie smiled at some recollection. “It was a beautiful estate in County Wexford and my ancestors named it Holly Hill. It was near the town of Hollyfort and Annagh Hill overlooked the land. My great great grandfather, my great grandfather, my grandfather and my father were all very fair-minded individuals. They were kind to their tenants, and they were loved in their community, much like the Darcys are loved in Derbyshire. My family actually farmed their estate. They were not just landlords who lived off rent.”

Elizabeth looked at Jamie and smiled. She had never seen him look wistful. “Jamie, it sounds wonderful. Why did you leave?”

With a shrug of his shoulders, Jamie continued. “We had no choice. My family, over the one hundred and fifty years they were in Ireland, became Irish. Some of my ancestors were even native Irish and Catholics who converted because they had to in order to intermarry. The division between the Church of Ireland and the Catholic Church is not as intense as it is reported… at least not to the people. It probably is to the hierarchy and to the hardest elements of the Protestant Ascendancy, but not to neighbours and friends.

Jamie's face became hardened with the knowledge he was imparting. “In order to subjugate the Catholic population - that really meant the entire native Irish population - what became known as the Penal Laws, were enacted. These laws were a deliberate plan to stamp out, by starvation and force, every single trace of Irishness. It made the Irish population a race of beggars. For example, no meat could be exported except barrelled salted meat for the British Navy. No wool could be exported except to Britain. No Catholic could vote. Catholics could not teach school.”

Lizzy was looking quite distressed at his words. “Did no one protest the laws?”

“Jonathon Swift wrote some pamphlets. I remember one I read said that in 1727 five-sixths of the nation were beggars. There was an opposition that developed in the Irish parliament, and there were sporadic local riots and one large rising in resistance to enclosures.”

Jamie took another sip of tea and his face registered a certain determination. “The people of Ireland were both inspired and impacted by the revolt in the American colonies. The American Revolution had helped the Irish people, because some of those hated Penal Laws I told you about, were repealed.”

Lizzy said, “I have read Thomas Paine's Common Sense. I found it very stirring. I know that is not considered patriotic, but I felt that way nonetheless, when I read it.

Jamie smiled at Lizzy and said, “I quite agree with you, and ten years after the American Revolution, the Irish population was again eagerly embracing the concepts of democracy and republicanism exhibited by the French Revolution. Both Danton in France and Thomas Paine in America inspired Wolfe Tone, who eventually became the most important leader of the struggle in Ireland. He founded the Society of United Irishmen. The purpose of this society was to unite the different religions into one political union. Later it became the intention of Tone to establish an Irish Republic through armed rebellion.”

“The British aristocracy was alarmed, and saw the uniting of men from the Church of Ireland, Presbyterians, Catholics and other dissenters as a great threat to their power in Ireland,” concluded Jamie with a cynical chuckle.

His face quickly changed to introspection. “I was in my third year at Trinity. In early 1798, we all knew the time was coming for the rebellion. The plan was to wait for the French to come to our aid; but finally in May, fighting broke out without the French. I was a member of a group called the “Hist”. It was a history and debating society, and most of the members were in favour of an Irish republic. Wolfe Tone addressed our group several times as he was fomenting the rebellion. I was in communication with my father, who was part of a force being assembled in Wexford. The fighting did not go well in Dublin, and I left to go home to Holly Hill.”

Elizabeth knew Jamie was fighting back tears. She took his hands just as he had taken hers earlier in the day.

Jamie's voice became little more than a whisper. “Originally the forces in Wexford were quite successful, but the British sent in a force of 20,000 troops, and the United Irishmen were defeated. My father was taken prisoner, and like thousands of others, hanged. By the time I got home, he was dead. His body was left hanging, as a deterrent to any other would be rebels. Eventually his body would have been thrown into a croppy hole with his comrades; but I wanted to bury him at Holly Hill.”

The tears that had been held in check had started to flow. “I dug a grave and went out at night with a cart and cut him down. I brought him home and buried him in the grave before the sun rose. My mother was very frightened for me; so we fled and came to my uncle's with only my mother's jewellery and the cash my father had left for an escape.”

Oddly, Jamie got a resigned and stoic look as he related his next information. “My father had anticipated a possible defeat and had sent money to my uncle in case the inevitable happened.” Jamie smiled and shrugged his shoulders. “Our estate that we got through confiscation was confiscated from us. Our circumstances are greatly reduced; but I was able to continue my education at Oxford. I had been studying law at Trinity; but I switched to medicine at Oxford. I decided I would become a physician and try to put thoughts of Ireland behind me. I still believe it should become a republic, but for now my life is here. I have lapsed into a temporary apathy of despair, just like the Irish people.”

Lizzy waited a few moments and then asked, “Is there any other reason for your mother's sadness?'

“Yes, I think my mother would rally if it were only my father's death that causes her grief. She is, after all, proud of what he was fighting for; but she is particularly saddened because my two sisters are still in Ireland. One of my sisters is married to the Viscount Annagh. From the time she was ten, she wanted a title, and along with her title she got one of the most despicable men for a husband. My brother-in-law was a member of the local Yeomanry, and they were ruthless in their savagery toward the civilian population in the aftermath of the rebellion. It was he who was awarded my father's estate. My sister does not reply to my mother's letters. My other sister is also married to the owner of a local estate. Her husband is a supporter of the Act of Union, but at least he is not a vicious murderer. She communicates occasionally. My mother has six grandchildren she has never seen. You said earlier, you wished I was your brother. Well I wish my sisters were like you.”

Elizabeth squeezed Jamie's hands and said, “Now that I have heard your story, it allows me to put my tragedy into perspective. It is still a tragedy, but on a much smaller scale than what you, and the people of Ireland have gone through. My trial will soon be over, and I can resume my life. I have lost much, but the courtesy of friends like you has kept my reputation and my family intact. You should come to Hertfordshire some day. I have four sisters… perhaps you could become my brother.”

Lizzie laughed at the thought of Jamie married to one of her sisters. Finally, she asked, “Jamie, what do you miss the most?”

“I miss my friends, and I miss the laughter. The Irish are peculiar in that even in the face of tragedy, they have the ability to laugh; and they even laugh at the horrible events of a tragedy. Can you imagine an Englishman writing something like A Modest Proposal? My friends and I used to laugh because we heard some here in England thought Mr. Swift serious about solving the problem of poverty in Ireland by selling the babies of the poor as food for rich ladies and gentlemen. One song you will hear children singing in Ireland is about a mother killing her baby. I am sure the English sensibility would be horrified at such a sad subject becoming a song sung so jauntily. However, they have never experienced children starving at the rate they did in Ireland because of the Penal Laws. Regardless of its humour, it is a very moral song, because the mother gets hanged. The last line is the moral of this story is; don't stick knives in babies' heads.”

Jamie once again got a broad smile on his face as he remembered some other bit of the peculiarity of Irish culture. “Of course, there is that other side in Ireland which wallows in maudlin sentimentality… songs about my poor dear grey-haired mother, etc, etc. My favourites, however, are the songs of rebellion.” He became quite serious and said, “Many of the rebel songs can also be overly sentimental but some are hauntingly beautiful, and then the poetry of the Irish soul is revealed. The determination to be free comes through clearly in those songs. I will teach you some of the more beautiful ones before you leave.”

“Jamie, I will miss you and our laughter when I go back to Hertfordshire. I laugh with my father, but he loves to laugh at people's failings. You laugh with compassion and great feelings of love.” Elizabeth rose and put their tea things together to take to the kitchen to wash them. Jamie helped, and they soon had everything washed and put away.

As they were climbing the stairs to retire, Jamie said. “Elizabeth, do you remember the spot where you almost hit Mr. Darcy today?”

Elizabeth looked surprised at his query. “Yes, I do. What about it?”

“Besides the knife that my uncle is procuring for you, hitting a man in that spot is very good protection. It is very painful, and you would disable your attacker for several moments if you placed a swift kick or even a punch in that spot.”

Elizabeth blushed and then laughed. “Why thank you, Dr. Wilder for your astute medical advice. I will certainly remember your prescription for my safety.”

As they parted for the night, Elizabeth tried to keep from grinning as she made a request of Jamie. “You will look out for the babe once I am gone? Please take some of Bronwyn's madeleines to distract Mr. and Mrs. Darcy when you make a professional visit… just in case they might be thinking of eating the baby.”

This time it was Jamie's turn to laugh. “Elizabeth Bennet, I think you have an Irish soul.”

Continue on to Next Section

© 2008 Copyright held by the author.

Brave New World of Toil and Trouble ~ Section III

By Beth M

Beginning, Previous Section, Section III

Jump to new as of June 18, 2008
Jump to new as of June 25, 2008
Jump to new as of July 2, 2008

Posted on Wednesday, 25 June 2008

Chapter 19 - Anticipation

The oppressive heat of August was followed by a beautiful September. Just before Michaelmas, the air became crisp, and carried the delightful scent of the dying leaves. Elizabeth had always thought it odd that this season which prepared the earth for the hard winter ahead was so pleasant. The blazing of the trees in their death agony - or since it really wasn't death perhaps she should call it slumber preparation - was a last hurrah before the dead landscape of winter prevailed. From the time she was a child, she both loved and hated this season. Just when she was savouring every moment of the glory of autumn, the truth of what was to follow would encroach. She felt the same way about what was to happen to her. She played with Grif and Ang with passion, knowing full well that her time of playing childish games would soon end, and she would be forced by circumstances into full adulthood.

She allowed her play with the Hinton children to be strenuous. Jamie told her she should try to be as active as she could. He wanted her to be physically strong for the birth. She had no idea that his methods were a bit unorthodox until she had a long conversation with Bronwyn about what to expect during her last months and the birth. She discovered that most women who could afford to be leisurely had always been encouraged not to exert themselves during their confinement. That was not true of women who had obligations. Jamie and Bronwyn had observed both, and most were women who had to work through much of their confinement; sometimes right up until their labour began. The prevailing wisdom for women from these classes was that the exercise helped them have an easier time… provided they were not unhealthy or malnourished.

Bronwyn herself had consciously put their theories to the test with Morgan. She had gone about her business… doing her chores, and even delivering babies until just a week prior to giving birth herself. The seasons were different, because Morgan was born the end of June and Elizabeth's baby would be born in mid December, and the possibility of inclement weather would be a factor in her activities. Jamie had devised some exercises Elizabeth could do during the final time of her confinement. For Elizabeth, she truly would be confined to just a few rooms during the last weeks. The plan had her going to Pemberley at the beginning of November. All involved thought it prudent for her to spend her last six weeks there, so that weather would not get a chance to disrupt their plot.

Bronwyn was an unusual midwife. She was much younger than most. She had the practical experience of having three healthy children to guide her, but more importantly, she had Dr. Wilder to enhance her knowledge with science. They were a good team, and she was becoming highly valued in the community. She was particularly skilled at knowing those instances where Dr. Wilder should be called to intervene in an emergency. She had delivered her first baby shortly after Angharad was born, and since then had delivered thirty babies with no deaths of either mothers or babies. She dreaded the first time there would be a fatality.

One evening in September, Bronwyn and Lizzy were sitting, having tea. Bronwyn said, “Lizzy, please ask me any questions about the birth, or perhaps you would like me to describe what happens and then you can ask questions.”

“Please describe it. I do not even have a friend who is married, much less one who has given birth.”

Bronwyn described the stages, the pain, the widening of the opening and the appearance of the baby's head. Elizabeth listened with amazement at the intricate succession of events that allowed the baby to be born.

“I am apprehensive of the pain.”

“Do not be. It is something that I think is more manageable the more prepared you are. If you can remain calm, it will be easier. I will be there with you. Just remember to breathe. Many hold their breath during the pains, and I think that makes it worse. Make a plan now to remember to breathe, and what thoughts you will concentrate on during the birth.”

“What if something goes wrong? How often do mothers die?”

Bronwyn put her arm around Lizzy. “Jamie will be there. Usually he is not, but you are too important to him. He will be out in the hall. Between the two of us, we will take care of you. I do not know how often mothers die; but I do know I have delivered thirty and have not lost any mothers or any babies.”

With the cooler weather, the household spent more time indoors, enjoying music. Jamie taught Elizabeth how to play an Irish Whistle. As promised, he taught her several Irish rebel songs. She found her favourite to be The Minstrel Boy. She loved the melody, and was amazed at the images evoked by the lyrics. Jamie told her that it was written by a friend, Thomas Moore. Moore was part of the “Hist” at Trinity. “Thomas is one of those Irish poets that often slides off into sentimentality, but I do like this song. The tune is an ancient Irish air. It is a very personal song for me, since it was written to honour the fallen comrades from among our friends. One of whom, Robert Emmet, had organized a second failed rising in 1803. He was captured and hanged.”

Often of an evening, Mrs. Wilder would play her harp and Lizzy would play the pianoforte. Mrs. Wilder's taste in music leaned toward traditional tunes, and Elizabeth loved learning to play tunes she had heard all her life but for which she never had the sheet music. One tune in particular seemed familiar. Mrs. Wilder told her it was a traditional Welsh tune*1: but Lizzy was sure she had heard it when a travelling troupe performed John Gay's The Beggar's Opera a few years ago at the assembly hall in Meryton.

Jamie, who had seen The Beggar's Opera in Dublin more than once, said that it probably was either the same tune or one very similar, because the premise behind the opera was to have irreverent lyrics set to familiar and traditional tunes. The juxtaposition of the opposites was what had made the opera so memorable for him. He remembered that Greensleeves was used as well as several Scottish tunes.

Elizabeth was struck by how comfortable she was with Jamie and Mrs. Wilder. She wished her circumstances were different, and she could remain in this cocoon of love and contentment. However, with her next thought, she remembered Jane and her father. They needed her, and she loved them as well. She was eager to debate history with her father; he would be surprised how much she had learned. She hoped she was not too late to comfort Jane. George Trent had left Netherfield in pursuit of a Miss Green with a dowry of twenty thousand pounds. She missed her other sisters, and she even missed her mother. She knew she was loved by all. Hopefully they would never find out about her humiliation and change their good opinion of her.

In late September, Dr. Wilder took his mother and Lizzy to Lambton to have some new dresses made for Elizabeth, and to pick out Christmas presents for her parents and her sisters. Mr. Davies showed Lizzy the knives he had procured. One was quite plain, but the other one was silver with a filigree handle.

She laughed as she said, “The silver one is so beautiful. I have decided I would like both, Mr. Davies. I will carry the ordinary one as I go about my daily routine. The pretty one I will save for church, and if I ever decide to go to a ball.”

Mr. Davies gave Elizabeth a paternal smile and said, “Oh my, Betty bach your infectious humour will be missed in Derbyshire.”

Before they returned home, they stopped at the bookshop. Elizabeth wanted her own copy of Mary Wollstonecraft's An Historical and Moral View of the French Revolution. She had read Jamie's copy, but she wanted to take one home to Hertfordshire. She was anticipating reading it to her father and then discussing the ideas with him. She also wanted A Vindication of the Rights of Women by Wollstonecraft as well. This she would read when she went to Pemberley.

When they entered the shop, there was a young girl with an older woman talking to the bookseller. The young girl appeared to be about eleven, and looked vaguely familiar. There were two books on the counter, and the young girl was just concluding her purchase. She smiled broadly when she saw Jamie.

Oh, Dr. Wilder, how wonderful to see you without anyone in my family being sick.

Jamie looked anxiously at Lizzy and said. “Miss Darcy, what a pleasant surprise. How is your sister? I am due to stop in and check her progress next Tuesday.”

She is fine, and all three of us are immensely excited about this baby. I am here today to get these books my brother ordered. She showed them a copy of Perrault's stories in both English and French. My brother has hired an artist to copy the illustrations in the book onto the walls of the nursery. Mrs. Darcy had a friend who was taught French at a very early age by using these books, and my brother thought it an ingenious idea. The artist will include both the French and English titles as part of the illustrations.

Elizabeth was captured by the young woman's enthusiasm, and was honoured that Mr. Darcy would pay tribute to her father's teaching method for the baby. She realized the young woman seemed familiar because she looked like her mother. She was a younger version of the portrait in Mr. Darcy's study.

Jamie said, “Miss Georgiana Darcy, may I present my mother, Mrs. Wilder, and my cousin, Mrs. Bennet.”

Miss Darcy introduced her companion, Mrs. Watson. When the curtsies were complete, Miss Darcy noticed Elizabeth's stomach. Oh, Mrs. Bennet, you are with child as well. When will your baby be born?

Elizabeth answered carefully. “The baby is due the middle of December. I am visiting my cousin and my aunt, but will shortly have to return home for the final time of my confinement. I like your brother and sister's idea for painting the nursery. I remember fondly those stories being read to me as a child.”

“That is the same time my sister's baby is due. I hope she has a girl. I know since it is the first, I should hope for a boy; but I can think of so many things I would enjoy doing with a girl. Is this your first child? Do you want a girl or a boy?”

Elizabeth looked at Jamie and he saw her discomfort at the topic. “Yes, this is my first child; and I have not really decided which I would prefer.”

“Miss Darcy, I am sorry to say we must be going. Mrs. Bennet is leaving tomorrow to return home, and she must be packing.”

Georgiana Darcy smiled broadly and said, “Good bye, Mrs. Bennet. Have a safe journey home, and I will be thinking about you when my niece or nephew arrives. Perhaps I will remember to ask your cousin whether you had a boy or a girl.”

On the way home, Elizabeth was abnormally quiet, and Jamie realized she had been unsettled by their deception.

Jamie took Elizabeth to Pemberley just before dawn on November 1st. They entered through the tradesmen's entrance, and were met by Mrs. Reynolds. Elizabeth was taken upstairs to a suite of rooms… a sitting room, a dressing room and a bedchamber. The sitting room also connected to the nursery. Elizabeth saw the mural of the Perrault tales and smiled. It was another reassurance that she had made a correct decision.

For the remainder of her confinement, Elizabeth would stay in these rooms. She would see no one except Mrs. Reynolds and Mr. and Mrs. Darcy, and occasionally Mrs. Hinton and Dr. Wilder. She was in the family wing, and only Mr. and Mrs. Darcy were in residence. Mrs. Reynolds told Elizabeth that Miss Darcy and Mrs. Watson had gone to Matlock, and would remain there until Elizabeth had left.

As the sun rose, Elizabeth looked out the window to a glorious prospect. The view allowed her to see a ridge of high woody hills rising behind what she thought must be the rear of the house. In the front, a stream of natural appearance flowed, and she was pleased to see the banks were neither formal nor falsely adorned. Elizabeth was delighted. It was a comfort to know that her prison for the next six weeks allowed such a lovely view, and that her child would live in such a fair environment.

Elizabeth turned to Mrs. Reynolds and said, “I have never seen a place for which nature had done more, or where natural beauty had been so little changed by an awkward taste.”

“Yes, I consider myself lucky that I have lived here for almost twenty years. To my tastes, the grounds are the most beautiful of all estates.”

Mrs. Reynolds and Elizabeth were instantly drawn to each other. Elizabeth, for her part, felt the older woman accepted her without pity or disapproval. She knew she could not know the true circumstances of her disgrace, but yet she sensed no censure.

Mrs. Reynolds had known too many young women who had been compromised during her years of service. This young woman had found a way to come through the ordeal with some dignity, and knowing Mr. Darcy, she was sure with some cash. She did wonder whether Mr. Darcy was the father. It seemed unlike him, but everyone who knew him as a child questioned his marriage of convenience. Even his father had thought he was making a mistake. This young woman's personality was much more what she would have expected her master to favour. Even through the sadness of Miss Elizabeth's circumstances, it was obvious she was very intelligent and used humour and wit to compensate for life's hardships. Mrs. Reynolds could even see hints of joy when she talked of her sisters. It caused her to wonder where that joyful little boy had gone. Why had he not been as resilient as she?

The first time Mrs. Reynolds heard Miss Elizabeth having a nightmare, she was convinced of two things. This young woman had not been charmed into a comprising situation, and Mr. Darcy was not the father. She had known her master since he was four years old, and he would not hurt a fifteen year old girl who begged him to stop. She also determined that the violator was much above Miss Elizabeth's station. As she begged, she continually said please.

Elizabeth, who had at first been enchanted by the view out her windows, tried to avoid the sight the longer she remained captive in these rooms. Her desire to explore the lovely grounds enhanced her general melancholy. Mr. and Mrs. Darcy spent as much time with her as possible without drawing attention to their absence from their regular duties. Mrs. Reynolds brought her every meal and sat with her while she ate. They became friends and agreed to correspond. Elizabeth said she did not want to know about the child, but would like to be informed about how things fared at Pemberley, and she asked that all correspondence go through her uncle.

Other than her occasional visitors, reading and embroidery became her life. Mr. Darcy had given her three of Shakespeare's plays, and she started on them shortly after her arrival. The first was King Lear. It caused her to think of her father and going home, and the death of Cordelia and Lear from Edmund's duplicity made it difficult to read. She had never read the original text with their deaths; instead she had read Samuel Johnson's edition with the happier ending for Cordelia. She felt reluctant to tackle this stark tragedy; especially with a character named Edmund at the heart of the treachery.

She turned for her second selection to the well-worn volume of A Midsummer Nights Dream. The first page inside the book was not the original, but something added to commemorate the occasion of it being given to Mr. Darcy. It was from his mother, and the page had been decorated with cherub-like fairies around the edge. In the middle had been written…

To my dearest Fitzwilliam, even when my life is full of care and I am plagued by despair, I always know I have my joy of you.

She signed the dedication with the date, 8 September, 1792. Elizabeth wondered what age he had been, whether 8 September was his birthday, and what tragedy had just occurred in his mother's life. Was this his copy to be used during their Midsummer picnics?

Every tidbit of information she gleaned about this man made her more and more sure of her decision. She hoped this child she was about to give birth to would be his joy.

One evening Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth were alone in the sitting room reading. They did not speak for thirty minutes, but instead read in companionable silence. She was reading Mary Wollstonecraft's book on the French Revolution, and he had been inspired to read Edmund Burke's Reflections on the Revolution in France in response to Dr. Wilder's description of her reaction.

Mr. Darcy kept stealing glances at his companion. The candlelight in the room caused him to notice the highlights in her hair. Her gown was a deep golden yellow. He thought he had heard that colour described as amber, but it reminded him of mustard. Regardless of the name, it caused him to think she glowed. She sat very still, and her concentration was intense. He thought back to his first vision of her. Her concentration had been intense then… and filled with joy. He was not sure how he would define her character; but he knew she did nothing carelessly or in half-measures. Her belly was ripe with this child she was giving to him, and he was suddenly saddened to realize her joy was gone.

“Miss Elizabeth how do you find An Historical and Moral View of the French Revolution?”

“It is much more to my liking than the book you are reading. I find the Burke book to be nothing more than a justification for conditions staying the same. He even uses the term relying on prejudices as the way we should live. As a woman, that is unacceptable to me. It is wrong that women are not accorded the same rights as men. I will admit that the absence of rights was not important to me a year ago, but due to the recent catastrophe in my life, I have been profoundly frustrated by my restrictions.”

Elizabeth noticed that Mr. Darcy looked perplexed and amazed once again. The denseness of his consciousness caused her to want to challenge him. “The French Revolution attempted to storm the heavens. As we know, it was not altogether successful, but I admire them, and feel we can learn from the attempt. They raised all manner of questions about the future of society. They discussed and debated the rights of women and the ending of slavery; something the American Revolution did not do. Women played a very important role in the revolution, and they tended to be the most insistent on doing away with the old ways. They made up the majority of the ranks of the enrage. They marched to Versailles and forced Louis back to Paris. It was unacceptable to them that he live in luxury while the mothers of Paris could not afford bread to feed their children”

Mr. Darcy stared at her in wonder. He had not expected to unleash such passion in her. He was not sure what to make of her reaction; but he was not altogether displeased. He asked, “Miss Elizabeth, I believe I agree with your assessment of the intentions of the revolution; but how do you justify the terror? Even William Blake, who was originally a proponent, pulled back in view of the terror.”

“What you say is true. Many did, indeed, pull back. I greatly admire both William Blake's poetry and his illustrations; but I think him wrong on his final assessment of the French Revolution. I think he tends, as many others do, to throw the baby out with the bathwater. Much of the fuss over the terror is to turn people's attention away from the conditions that gave rise to the revolution. It is much like the endless discussion of the savagery of the slave reprisals against the plantation owners in Haiti. Our attention is deflected away from the immorality of slavery and pulls at our heartstrings for the slave owners.”

Elizabeth remembered the explanation Jamie had given her for the terror. He had talked of two terrors, and she knew when he was talking that he included Ireland in his reflections. Elizabeth decided to use his argument on Mr. Darcy. She spoke distinctly and dispassionately, but her eyes betrayed the fervour she felt for her topic. “I am struck by the hypocrisy of those who mourn the victims of the terror. Many of those who rub our noses in the atrocities are afraid their actions, if closely observed, might be candidates for similar reprisal. In many ways, there were two Reigns of Terror. One, we are forever talking about… the one that murdered in hot passion, but never remember the other that killed in heartless cold blood. The first lasted mere months, the other lasted a thousand years. The first inflicted death upon a thousand persons, and the other upon millions. Our shudders are all for the momentary terror. Which is more horrible… swift death by guillotine compared to endless death from hunger, cold, insult, cruelty and heartbreak? A city cemetery could contain the coffins filled by the terror of the revolution. That terror we are encouraged to shiver at and mourn over; but all of France could hardly contain the coffins filled by the real terror of the ancien regime… that unspeakable bitter and awful terror which none of us has been taught to see in its vastness, or even pity the victims as they deserve.”*2

Mr. Darcy was both bewitched and bewildered by this young woman. He desired her to be gone because she tempted him more than any other. His feelings about her bothered him. Were he not married, he could imagine reading books and discussing ideas with her for the rest of his life. Even though he disagreed with her contentions, he admired her eagerness to be a part of the world. She had mentioned hypocrites, and all he could concentrate on as she was speaking was that he was definitely one in his thoughts toward her.

*1 The song Mrs. Wilder is playing is what we know as The Ash Grove. I think most know it. You definitely do if you were a Girl Scout for 12 years as I was. The song used by John Gay in The Begger's Opera is very similar. The song Cease Your Funning from his opera is set to that tune. Beethoven did an arrangement of Cease Your Funning.
*2 Jamie's words that Lizzy is repeating are a paraphrase of Mark Twain's reflections on the French Revolution in A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court

Chapter 20 - Bye Bye Baby, Baby Goodbye

Elizabeth was miserable. She had been miserable all day long. Her back ached, and no matter what, she could not find a comfortable position. It was the middle of the night when she finally got out of bed, put on her robe and went into the sitting room next door. She lit some candles and sat by the last of the fire and tried to read. When the pain kept interrupting her concentration, she put down the book. She decided to do some of Jamie's exercises.

She held on to the back of the chair and did knee bends. She did that until once again she realized just how much her back hurt. She stood on tiptoe and stretched with her arms over her head. Why didn't the babe come? She wanted to have this whole experience over with and to be back in Hertfordshire. She was tired of being cooped up in these rooms, she was tired of carrying this thing around and she wanted her back to stop hurting.

She walked around the room, occasionally squatting while she walked. She was trying to decide whether she really was making her legs stronger when she heard a knock at the door. With a sigh, she said, “Come in.”

Mr. Darcy came into the room and saw her walking about in a squat position. “What are you doing, Miss Elizabeth?”

Elizabeth did not even try to be civil when she replied. I am miserable and am just trying to do the exercises Jamie gave me.

Why are you miserable? I heard movement in here, and thought maybe it was time to get Mrs. Hinton.

“Unfortunately, I am not having those pains. Instead, my back hurts from carrying around this load.” Elizabeth patted her belly and replied with complete exasperation. “It aches if I lie down… It aches if I sit… It aches if I stand. I just want this whole ordeal to be over. I am unable to sleep… I have indigestion… Then there are the other things I experience that I should not mention in your company. I am tired of being in these rooms. I want to go for a walk outside in your beautiful grounds, but most of all, I just want to go home. Why, oh why did I ever leave in the first place? She started to cry and did not care whether he saw her or not.

Mr. Darcy looked stunned. He had no idea what to do for her. Finally, he hit on a plan. "Would you like to discuss some of the books you have been reading?"

Elizabeth laughed at his ridiculous idea, but then decided to go along. “Why not, Mr. Darcy? Maybe I will at least be distracted for a while. Do you mind if I lie down on the floor while we talk? I think the hard surface might provide some comfort.

He nodded his agreement and noticed how ungainly she appeared as she went down on all fours and then managed to lower the rest of herself onto the floor. Darcy wondered how she would be able to get back up. He then decided he would lie on his back at a respectable distance. He thought just how improper and ridiculous it would appear if someone saw them like this; but then he realized the only two people who could even possibly see them were Anne and Mrs. Reynolds. He had no fear that either would gossip about them discussing books, prone on the sitting room floor, in the middle of the night.

He started by asking her what she was reading.

I just reread The Merchant of Venice. It was one of the volumes of Shakespeare you loaned me.

“How did you find it?”

“I read it first when I was eleven. Portia became my favourite character in all of Shakespeare. She was beautiful, she was clever, and of course, she was wealthy, and had many suitors. She figured out how to win the day, and saved Antonio from the villainous Shylock. I hoped one day I could be like her. Oh, I knew I would never be wealthy, but maybe I would be thought beautiful, clever, and have many suitors.” Elizabeth chuckled at her childish thoughts, and then felt some discomfort as to what Mr. Darcy was thinking of her last statement. Almost immediately she remembered the pain in her back, and decided she really did not care whether he thought her mercenary; just as she did not care she was in her nightclothes or lying prone on the floor with bare feet.

Elizabeth stared at the ceiling and collected her thoughts. “This time when I read the play, I found myself sympathetic to Shylock. Antonio had spat at him and reviled him for his religion.” She thought of Jamie's tale of Ireland for a moment before she continued. “I was particularly moved by his scene in Act III. It had an entirely new meaning to me this time.”

Elizabeth who had memorized Shylock's speech began to say the lines. Her passion for the words was evident, as she said, “Hath not a Jew eyes, Hath not a Jew hands, organs, dimensions, senses, affections, passions; fed with the same food, hurt with the same weapons, subject to the same diseases, heal'd by the same means, warm'd and cool'd by the same winter and summer as a Christian is?”

Elizabeth looked over at Mr. Darcy as she continued. Her voice had gotten husky with emotion. “If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you tickle us, do we not laugh? If you poison us, do we not die? And if you wrong us, shall we not revenge? If we are like you in the rest, we will resemble you in that. If a Jew wrong a Christian, what is his humility? Revenge. If a Christian wrong a Jew, what should his sufferance be by Christian example? Why, revenge. The villainy you teach me, I will execute, and it shall go hard but I will better the instruction.”

She lay there in silence waiting for his reaction. She knew this was their great divide, and what kept him from having a good opinion of her. He could not see that she had a right to revenge. The norms of their society made her the villain. She had stepped out of her place, and he could not forgive her for her transgression.

Mr. Darcy said, “I am sorry for your pain.”

Elizabeth waited for him to say something more, but he did not. Finally she said, “Thank you for your concern. My ordeal will be over soon, and then I am sure I will be able to go back to keeping my emotions under good regulation. If you will help me up, I think I should try to go back to bed and get some sleep.”

For the first time in their acquaintance, Mr. Darcy touched her. He pulled her upright, and he could feel her stiffen a bit, but she did not recoil from his touch.

She pulled her robe tightly around her and walked toward the door to her bedchamber. Just as she touched the handle, she felt a pain. She turned to Mr. Darcy and said, “I just had a pain that is, I think, the kind I have been anticipating. Will you wait with me and see if there are others?

Of course I will. He got his watch out, and together they patiently waited for the next one. It came, and they waited for one more. At that point, Mr. Darcy arose and went to send a servant for Mrs. Hinton and Dr. Wilder, and to bring Mrs. Reynolds to Miss Elizabeth.

When Mr. Darcy returned with Mrs. Reynolds, Elizabeth was crying.

Mrs. Reynolds went to Elizabeth and put her arms around her. She had learned by comforting her during her nightmares that she liked to have her back rubbed. She rubbed her back in a circular motion, and Elizabeth melted into her arms, but continued to cry. “Miss Elizabeth, is the pain worse?” Lizzy shook her head.

Elizabeth answered Mrs. Reynolds very quietly because she did not want Mr. Darcy to hear. “No, it is the same; but I just realized that today is my birthday. I am sixteen, and I am going to have a baby today. This time last year I was home with my family; and my biggest worry was trying to convince my mother that I did not want to be out in society, or make myself pleasing to men in the pursuit of a husband. I just wanted to remain a child for a little while longer. I was suddenly overwhelmed with the fact that we do not always get what we want.”

Mrs. Reynolds whispered into Elizabeth's ear, “You will come through this. In the short time we have been acquainted, you have impressed me as a strong and courageous young woman. You will prevail. I have confidence in you.”

Elizabeth put her arms around Mrs. Reynolds and hugged her. “Thank you. I needed your words of encouragement.” She pulled back from Mrs. Reynolds and smiled as she said loud enough for Mr. Darcy to hear, “Never fear. I momentarily felt the need to wallow in self pity, but I will be fine now.”

Mrs. Darcy and Mrs. Reynolds assisted Mrs. Hinton. Four hours later, Elizabeth delivered a baby girl. Bronwyn Hinton was amazed at how easy the birth was. She had never attended one that went so quickly for a first time mother, nor had there been a mother who seemed to be in so little pain.

Bronwyn asked Elizabeth how she had managed to remain calm during the birth. Elizabeth whispered to her friend, “I did the same as I did when she was conceived. I concentrated on pleasant thoughts of things from my past. This time, however, I also spent a bit of time thinking about things I want to accomplish in the future.”

Ten days after the baby was born, Elizabeth rose early and dressed. She left an envelope with a note and her garnet cross on a table in the nursery. Jamie would come for her mid morning to take her to the post. He had argued with her to no avail that he should hire a carriage for her. She was adamant that she must arrive back in Meryton by post. She would be the source of much gossip among her neighbours if she came home all alone in a fine carriage. She had agreed that she would stay overnight at inns during the journey. She had her knives and the knowledge from Jamie of where to apply a blow. Together they gave her a newly acquired, albeit fragile, sense of bravado.

Unbeknownst to her, Mr. Darcy and Dr. Wilder had arranged for her protection by hiring a man to ride anonymously with her. Furthermore, Mr. Darcy had made sure the inns where the post stopped were reputable and had given instructions to the landlords that she be given the most secure rooms in the house. Her luggage had been sent earlier, so she only had to manage one small box.

She asked Mrs. Reynolds to arrange a conference with Mr. Darcy. Mrs. Reynolds told her he would come to the nursery after breakfast. While she waited, she decided to nurse the baby one last time. Jamie had a theory that her milk would make the baby strong because Elizabeth was so healthy. The wet nurse was to arrive today after she left. On Mrs. Wilder's advice, she had arranged for the new gowns she had made in Lambton to lap across in front and button on the side to facilitate nursing.

The Darcys had not decided what they were naming the baby. Elizabeth knew there was some kind of dispute between the two of them, but knew in the long run it was better that she not know what name they settled on. From the moment the baby was placed in her arms for the first time, she had settled on calling her baby duck. Her hair was like blond fuzz and it reminded Elizabeth of the down on newborn ducks.

When she finished nursing, she cradled the baby in her arms and began to sing to her. She quickly ran out of lullabies, so she decided to sing The Minstrel Boy. It had a soothing melody, and the baby would not understand the words… so why not? Elizabeth was sitting with her back to the door and did not see or hear Mr. Darcy enter.

He was once again bewitched and bewildered by her. She was singing a hauntingly beautiful song of a fallen rebel to the baby. She had tears in her eyes as she sang, “Land of Song, cried the warrior bard, Tho' all the world betrays thee.” The baby looked at Elizabeth with rapt attention, leading Darcy to imagine she understood. Elizabeth smiled through her tears as she sang the last two lines. “Thy songs were made for the pure and free… They shall never sound in slavery!” When she finished the song she brought the baby's tiny fingers to her lips and said, “I will always love you, my baby duck.”

Mr. Darcy cleared his throat to bring his presence to her attention. He felt uncomfortable that he had witnessed the scene and resolved to ignore the pathos of the tableau and instead to comment on the absurdity. “Miss Elizabeth, is it your aim to make the baby into a rebel?”

Elizabeth was unsettled that he had seen her kissing the baby's fingers and professing undying love. She decided that the best course was to go along with his jocular remarks. “I had not thought about it, but you might be right. Jamie has this theory that my milk would help her be healthy, so maybe it is possible my song will make her want to fight against injustice. Did you notice that she looked as though she understood?”

“I did indeed, Miss Elizabeth. Should I be on the watch for her organizing the staff in revolt against me?”

“I would not fear that… I have heard from Mrs. Reynolds and Dr. Wilder that both your servants and your tenants love you. In the short term, however, I would worry about battles over eating her vegetables and going to bed. Those were my first skirmishes with my father.”

“What were his tactics in the war?”

Elizabeth smiled at the memory. “He taught me to grow vegetables. He flattered me and made me feel mature and responsible by giving me the job of tending the kitchen garden. I took pride in my produce and felt the need to market their deliciousness to my sisters. In addition, all the work in the garden made me tired, and I went to bed quite willingly.”

“Your father has impressed me twice. I think his idea for using the Perrault to teach you French to be ingenious, and now you tell me of his exemplary parenting skills with regards rebellious children. He sounds to be a bright and resourceful man.”

Elizabeth became introspective at his complement of her father. “He was indeed, once.”

Mr. Darcy smiled. He knew from her conversation the day the baby was born that more than anything, she wanted her stay to be over. He was glad they had put the scene he had witnessed behind them. “Miss Elizabeth, Mrs. Reynolds said you wanted to see me before you left.”

“Yes, Mr. Darcy, I have two requests before I return home. The first is to ask whether you would help find a young man who could work as a steward in training with my father. We can not afford someone who already knows all, but someone you think could learn quickly and would be able to help improve our profits. My sister and I are able to help with keeping the books and correspondence. It is help with decisions about what we produce. We need someone who is creative, and forward looking… someone young, progressive and with a certain je ne sais quoi. My father, as you said a minute ago, can be bright and resourceful, but with his failing eyesight he has lost much of his confidence.”

Elizabeth became nostalgic thinking of her father. She realized in just a few short days, she would be home. She was smiling at that thought as she continued. “We can pay the young man a modest salary, but we will also be able to provide our home for his residence. He will be treated as one of our family, and my mother is known for her table. I see the opportunity as an apprenticeship of sorts; but one filled with the possibility to put his ideas into practice. If you know of a good candidate with those qualities, please send the information to my uncle.”

Elizabeth paused and struggled with how to make her second request. Mr. Darcy was looking at her with expectation. Finally she was determined to say her desire, regardless of the consequences. “Mr. Darcy, my second request is about your daughter. I want you to promise me that you will never let her alone with Lord Wolfbridge.”

Darcy looked startled at her statement and began looking at his shoes as he contemplated how to answer such a request. His cousin had shown little interest in the birth of the child. They had not even spoken to each other when he and Anne attended Edmund's wedding to Eleanor Harding in September. They had only agreed to the appearance for the unity of the family. He had heard from his Aunt Cassandra that Lady Eleanor had lost the baby she had just learned she was carrying on the same day Miss Elizabeth gave birth. His aunt had been annoyed with Edmund because he had been in town and had still not arrived at Matlock to give comfort to his wife, even though Richard had taken leave and come immediately upon hearing the news, with the hope that he could cheer his sister-in-law.

Elizabeth gave him a few moments, but when he did not reply she spoke. “Mr. Darcy, please look at me. I need to see your eyes when you answer my request. I am not putting any condition on you except this. I need to know that you will comply and protect her.”

He wondered whether her concern was that the child would learn of her parentage from Edmund, or was there something more sinister she was implying. Since the day she had confronted them at Darcy House, he had seen Edmund only once at his wedding. He had no plans to spend time with Edmund again; but he was family, and he was sure they would be thrown together. She was not saying Edmund could not be present with the child; her request was that they never be left alone. He was unsure why the request; but it was such a simple demand, he decided to comply. “Miss Elizabeth, you have my assurance, I will never let Lord Wolfbridge alone with my daughter.”

Elizabeth searched Mr. Darcy's eyes as she said, “Thank you, Mr. Darcy. I am very pleased with your agreement to my request. I will sleep better with that knowledge.”

Mrs. Reynolds came into the room with Dr. Wilder. Elizabeth smiled one last time at Mr. Darcy. “I have left an envelope on a table in the nursery. It contains the garnet cross my parents gave to me on my fifth birthday. Please put it away and give it to her on her fifth birthday. It is not a requirement, but it pleases me to think that she will wear it some day.”

Posted on: 2008-07-02

Chapter 21 - Atonement

Anne Darcy stared absent-mindedly out the window in the nursery. She could see Fitzwilliam and Georgiana talking as they walked the path that led to the stream. Georgiana seemed agitated. She had resented not being allowed to be at Pemberley at the time of the birth; not coming home until the day Miss Elizabeth left. It was very close to Christmas, and her ill temper made the prospect of a happy holiday doubtful. Anne's mother was due later today and that would be just one more bit of unpleasantness with which to contend.

Anne had feared Lady Catherine would show up unannounced once she knew of the birth. They had purposely waited until the day before Miss Elizabeth departed to send an express to tell her. She was sure to be livid when she learned they had waited more than a week to communicate the existence of her granddaughter. She would stay for Christmas, but luckily no one else in the family was coming. Lady Eleanor had lost her baby, and all the Fitzwilliams were staying at Matlock… well all except Edmund. He had yet to arrive home. She was sure that he had not given Fitzwilliam the three thousand pounds to include with their remittance to Mr. Gardiner on Miss Elizabeth's behalf.

Elizabeth had not been as gleeful as Anne had expected. She had seemed to deflect a discussion of what she would do with the money at every attempt. Fitzwilliam had told her the only thing he knew was that she was going to hire a young man to act as steward in training for her father. He was going to recommend Mrs. Reynolds' nephew, John. He had been working with his father for the last several years. Since her brother was Lord Hughes' steward, she imagined his son's presence would make it much easier for Miss Elizabeth's father. She had told Fitzwilliam that her father was losing his sight and had lost some of his confidence. Anne knew not what to make of that; she was surprised they did not have a steward.

Anne remembered her last conversation with Miss Elizabeth. She had watched her nurse, and then took the baby from her to hold and rock. Anne had wanted Elizabeth to forgive her.

“Miss Elizabeth I wish you could find it in your heart to forgive me. I know now it was completely wrong of me to allow my cousin to be alone with you.”

“Mrs. Darcy I forgave you after our conversation at Darcy House. That is, I forgave you for helping your cousin with his beastly scheme. I have not forgiven you, and I am not sure I ever will, for disregarding my modest proposal of demanding three thousand pounds each from you and your cousin.” Anne noticed that Elizabeth chuckled at something before she continued. She was unsure why she found it humorous.

“You played Portia to my Shylock. I came that day for reparations, and you instead forced me to sell you this baby. I was denied the revenge I had hoped to extract. The money you offered was too much for someone in my circumstances to ignore. I will have to live forever thinking myself Faustus, and selling my soul to the devil.” Elizabeth chuckled once again. Anne was unsure of her references and was unhappy she could not receive absolution from Elizabeth.

Elizabeth continued, “Mrs. Darcy, your first act was done thoughtlessly. I forgave you your carelessness because I determined you had not been given proper instruction with regards propriety between men and women. I also decided that you had suffered greatly being under your mother's thumb; and you were sheltered from interaction with both men and people outside your family. However, when you turned the tables on me at Darcy house, and thought the best solution for my dilemma was to take the baby; I came to realize that despite your mother, or maybe because of your mother, you had been raised to feel entitled. My existence has never allowed me to feel entitled to anything. It is true I am a gentlemen's daughter; but with the entail on my father's estate, our financial situation has always been precarious.”

Elizabeth was standing by the window, looking out at the beauty of Pemberley. “I am reconciled to my decision, because I think Mr. Darcy honourable, and believe he will make a fine life for the baby. However, I wish I could convince him to have a good opinion of me. I believe him to think me mercenary. It would be humiliating for me to tell anyone, especially a man, the details of what your cousin did to me; but I do feel it would help my case if you told him how I came to be trapped. Your confession to him is your decision. His loyalty to you would make it difficult for me to tell him; and I do not feel it in the interest of this child to sow dissention between her parents.”

“Miss Elizabeth, you are right. I promise I will tell him.”

Elizabeth looked out the window one last time and sighed. “Thank you. If you do that, I will be happy to forgive you. Your confession will enable me to feel confident that his feelings toward me will not colour the way he feels towards his daughter. My main concern in this whole affair is the wellbeing of this child. Ever since I was violated by your cousin, I have felt the absence of choices when making decisions. Recently, I have come to realize that there are many others in the world whose circumstances are much worse than mine. I leave here cheered that no one at home will know of my dishonour, and your husband will not think me mercenary. Furthermore, I am resolved that unlike Faust, I will not waste what I have been given for the bargain.”

“Do you have plans for a large celebration for Christmas? Ours will only be my mother in addition to Georgiana. My cousin's wife, Lady Eleanor, lost her baby, and none from their family will be coming to Pemberley.” She noticed that Elizabeth had gone from looking resolute, to appearing shaken at the news of her cousin. She assumed it was because Miss Elizabeth did not like being reminded of him.

Anne had promised that day to tell Fitzwilliam the truth; but she felt she should wait until after Christmas to broach the subject. She first wanted to resolve the issue of the baby's name, and besides he was currently occupied with addressing Georgiana's anger.

Georgiana had overheard Anne and her brother arguing over the name for the baby. Anne was insistent that the baby be named Elizabeth Anne. She wanted to honour the baby's mother by using her name. Fitzwilliam feared that it fuelled the fire of speculation about the child. It was gossiped about among the servants, and even some of their family, that there was some secrecy surrounding the baby's birth, and there was no one within the Fitzwilliam, De Bourgh or Darcy family named Elizabeth.

She had just gotten him to agree to the name, and now this afternoon she would have to deal with her mother's objections. She knew her mother would want the baby to be named after her. She could not imagine calling this child Catherine or Cathy.

On Sunday, March 15th, 1807, the baby was baptized Elizabeth Anne Darcy. They decided to call her Bethany. It was a concession to Fitzwilliam's fears; but Anne quite liked the name. As expected, her mother objected, but Anne was determined to honour Elizabeth. She refused to be moved on the question of the baby's name. Richard Fitzwilliam and Lady Eleanor were chosen to be the baby's godparents. Lady Eleanor was not well known to the Darcys, but Richard encouraged his cousins that she would be a good choice. He knew her to be kind and generous.

Four months after the baptism, Anne had still not fulfilled her promise to Miss Elizabeth. Every time she thought the time might be right for her confession, there always seemed to be some obstacle that arose. The latest obstacle was her belief that she was with child. She could not tell him now, for fear he may reject her and the baby she was sure she was carrying. After Bethany's birth, Anne had been determined to have the best marriage she could, and to be the best mother possible. She put aside her fears and encouraged intimacy.

Their days and nights settled into a blissful routine. Anne loved being a mother, and she could tell Fitzwilliam loved being a father to Bethany. They planned their days around being with her as much as possible. They sang to her and read to her, even though she could not understand. Georgiana had gotten over her anger, and she loved entertaining Bethany. She brought her in a basket to the music room, and played the pianoforte for her. Bethany had a habit of looking at her parents and Georgiana with an intense gaze, as though she understood their words. She smiled and laughed a great deal, and all three found her mood catching.

Anne had been present when Bethany was born, and had been amazed how easy the birth appeared. She determined it was her duty to give Fitzwilliam a male child. She now believed she had been selfish with her fears of childbirth. This was her initial justification for going to him every night; but when he seemed quite pleased, she gloried in feeling desired, and she was happier than she had ever been in her life. Their marriage became less one of convenience, and more one of mutual admiration. She could not call it love; but even so, she enjoyed their relationship too much to risk his disapproval by telling him what she had done.

It was not long after her changed outlook toward her marriage that her courses stopped; she began to feel tired and battled nausea in the morning. She told Dr. Wilder of her symptoms, and he told her he suspected she was with child. His advice was to try to improve her health as much as possible. Her mother had always tried to convince her that she was unable to do things because of her fragile health. Dr. Wilder, however, felt increasing her strength had been successful for Miss Elizabeth, and would be equally rewarding for Mrs. Darcy. He encouraged her to eat as much as possible since she tended to be frail. He promised to frequently bring her Miss Elizabeth's favourite treat to fatten her up - Mrs. Hinton's famous madeleines. As with Elizabeth, he encouraged her to get as much exercise as possible. They agreed she should tell Mr. Darcy, but make sure he understood that it would not be certain the baby was viable until she felt it move.

She and Fitzwilliam celebrated Bethany's first birthday and prepared for Christmas. This year, the whole family was coming, and they would have a joyful time; and soon after around Twelfth Night, her baby would be born. She was anxious to have it over, and continue the idyllic existence her life had become… this time with two babies instead of one.

On the night of January 5, 1808, Anne's pains began. Mrs. Hinton was called, and the birth was easy, but Bronwyn felt something was wrong with the afterbirth. She had Dr. Wilder summoned. Anne was unaware of their concerns as she cuddled her infant son. He was beautiful, and was born with a head of dark hair like his father. They had decided to name him Lewis George after both of his grandfathers. Anne nursed him for the first time, and tried as best she could to sing to him. When she ran out of lullabies, she sang the only other song she could think appropriate. She sang Bobby Shafto to him. He really seemed to enjoy the song, and she thought maybe he was trying to smile. She was supremely happy that all had gone well and he was a perfect specimen.

Twenty-four hours after the birth, Anne became quite feverish. Dr. Wilder told Mr. Darcy that the placenta had broken apart, and Mrs. Darcy had developed an infection. Within hours of that news, she began to slip in and out of consciousness. She was desperately trying to tell Fitzwilliam something. She kept trying to say, “She forgave me and I must confess. She said I thought myself entitled. Please Fitzwilliam, I need to tell you what happened that day. She forgave me. I promised her I would tell you the truth and I did not. I think God is punishing me. I need to atone.” The sounds that came out were unintelligible. He shushed her and encouraged her to sleep. He held her hand continuously and frequently brought it to his lips, whispering to her that he loved her.

Three days after Lewis George Darcy was born, Anne Darcy died. The last day of her life, she was not conscious at all. She was never able to confess her role in the violation of the only woman friend she ever had.

Chapter 22 - An Ideal Husband and Father

Fitzwilliam Darcy watched as his infant daughter slept. She had already brought such joy to their lives… He, Anne and Georgiana had all changed. It was as if she had completed some kind of circle, and had given all three of them a renewed purpose. They read to her, they sang to her, and Georgiana played for her. He was amazed at how she would look at them as though she understood. He remembered that look from the day Miss Elizabeth sang to her.

Anne had prevailed, and they had named her Elizabeth Anne, in honour of the woman who bore her. He had been apprehensive about using the name Elizabeth, and he convinced Anne they should not use her official name, but call her Bethany. It was a good compromise. He liked the name's biblical connotation, and he liked a reference he read to the town of Bethany as a little oasis laden with figs in a barren region. The literal translation from the Hebrew was house of figs,. Bethany was definitely a little oasis in what had, for many years, been a barren existence for him.

He still frequently called her `baby duck.' The name Miss Elizabeth had given her somehow suited her, even though the blond fuzz was gone and had been replaced by chestnut curls. He observed that in addition to her hair, she had Miss Elizabeth's eyes… green with flecks of gold. Even at only a few months old, they shone with intelligence.

The baby's presence created a new, intimate bond with Anne. She had lost much of her fear of childbirth while being present at Bethany's birth. She wanted to give him a son. He enjoyed the intimacy, and they settled into an enjoyable routine of days given over to enjoying Bethany and nights enjoying each other.

Colonel Richard Fitzwilliam convinced his cousins to make Lady Eleanor Bethany's godmother. Richard was very solicitous of his sister-in-law's well being. He had gone to comfort her as soon as he heard she had lost the child she was carrying, as they had been very close prior to her engagement to Edmund. Richard had not confided in him; but it seemed to him that her affections lay with Richard, and she had married Edmund to please her father. Mr. Harding was known to desire a title in his family, and Edmund and his uncle had definitely desired her fifty thousand pounds, even if it came from trade.

He observed, during Bethany's baptism, that both Richard and Lady Eleanor seemed miserable with their situation. As they stood at the altar, they exchanged glances full of remorse. Her marriage to Edmund would mean that even if the rascal died, they would never be able to marry.

Fitzwilliam was thrilled when he heard Anne was expecting a child. He listened carefully to Dr. Wilder about ensuring her health. He instructed the cook to make all her favourite foods; and then when they were served, he made sure she ate. He scheduled a walk with her every day. He made a sling for Bethany so he could bring her with them. She nestled into the sling facing forward, and watched birds fly past. His Pointer, Florizel, striking the pose his breed was named for, would cause her to gurgle with delight. As always, he was amazed at how interested she was in her surroundings. Of course, sometimes he carried her facing him, and it pleased him that in those instances, the thing she seemed to love most was his face and hair, followed closely by his neck cloth.

It was truly an idyllic time, and his marriage of convenience had miraculously become a relationship he treasured. In all honesty, he knew it was not love; but it was a wonderful substitute. He began to erase his doubts of keeping his vows from his consciousness. Now that she was gone, his struggle had become a distant memory. Sometimes he would look at his daughter and realize the sacrifice Miss Elizabeth had made. He had sent twenty thousand pounds to Mr. Gardiner immediately upon her departure. At Bethany's baptism, he had confronted his cousin about the three thousand pounds that was his part of the bargain. He refused to pay, and Darcy was both furious and chagrined. He was annoyed that his family would seem as though they did not honour their obligations.

One day, Anne begged off going on the walk because she wanted to nap. It was late October, and getting around was becoming more difficult for her, and each day her endurance waned. Darcy packed Bethany in the sling and they set out on a crisp day, redolent with dying leaves. For months, she had been babbling as though she was telling him something. She had her mother's lopsided grin, and she used it frequently to get his attention. They stopped, and he sat down with his back against the trunk of a huge chestnut tree. He took her out of the sling and cradled her in his arms. He wished he could remember the song she had sung. Instead he sang the song he had sung with his mother so many times… Scarborough Fair. When he finished, she smiled at him and said very distinctly… papa. For some irrational reason, the moment he heard her first word, he was resolved to send her mother the additional three thousand pounds for Edmund, and another three thousand, not part of the bargain, from him. He had been thinking of sending her some money just from him ever since he saw her kiss the baby's fingers and whisper her love.

The second Christmas with Bethany was the happiest one he had experienced since his mother died. He did not even mind that all the Fitzwilliams and his mother-in-law were present. He, Anne and Georgiana had concentrated on buying presents for Bethany. First they gave her presents on her birthday, and then turned around, and gave her more for Christmas. They got her a top, building blocks, three dolls and a puppy. Her godmother gave her a stuffed rabbit, and her godfather gave her a stuffed bear. Aunt Cassandra gave her several picture books. Her grandmother gave her a bonnet. She quite liked the boxes most things came in. One in particular made a fine hat that she preferred to the bonnet her grandmother had given her. The puppy was a last minute idea of Georgiana's. They did not have time to get her a proper housedog like Georgiana's Pug, Bianca. Instead they got a Foxhound pup out of the kennels. Bethany who was oblivious to the social stratification among dogs or humans, greatly appreciated her new companion. She was still crawling, so they had being on all fours in common. He father named him Bottom, but she called the dog Papa. She did not yet understand the true meaning of her first and favourite word, or that in the Darcy house, all pet dogs must be named after Shakespearean characters.

On the eve of Twelfth Night, Anne began her labour. To Darcy, it did not seem as though it took much time at all for her to deliver. The baby was a boy, and had a great deal of dark hair. They named him Lewis George Darcy. Fitzwilliam Darcy was very proud, and he was momentarily fearful his own child would diminish his affection for Bethany. He did not want that to happen, because he would think himself dishonourable, but as he looked at his son sleeping, he became certain that it was Bethany that had created the atmosphere that resulted in Lewis.

When Dr. Wilder told him that the infection from the ruptured afterbirth was probably going to be fatal, he was shocked that the euphoria they had experienced less than thirty six hours before, had now shifted to horror for him. She kept going in and out of consciousness, and he struggled to make sense of what was about to happen. He could think of nothing but finding some way to ease her departure. She kept trying to tell him something. She wanted to confess, and it sounded as though someone had forgiven her. If she had been forgiven, why did she need to confess? She was delirious, and then drifted into unconsciousness. All he could think to do was kiss her hand and tell her he loved her.

In the spring following Bethany's third birthday and Lewis' second, Fitzwilliam Darcy brought his entire family to town for the Season. His sister and Mrs. Watson were in town to allow Georgiana to spend time with a pianoforte master. His whole life was Georgiana, Bethany and Lewis, and he refused to be separated from any of them. While in town, he thought he should attend some balls and reacquaint himself with the ladies of the ton. There was always the possibility he would meet someone who could inspire passion of both mind and body in him and still be a good mother to his children. Perhaps this time he would not feel quite so much like horseflesh as he had six years ago.

Every day, while Georgiana was occupied with her lessons, he would take the children into the park across the street. Bethany was very precocious, and the most verbal child he had ever encountered. She was fearless in approaching strangers in the park and striking up a conversation. She had become fast friends with another child her age, named Elizabeth. She and Elizabeth Barrett enjoyed games of make believe. One day they would be pirates drawing on Elizabeth Barrett's family's history in the West Indies, next would be witches or fairies reflecting Bethany's love for the stories read to her by her father.

One day, as Darcy was giving Lewis a piggyback ride, and Bethany was waiting her turn, she saw an amiable looking young man sitting on a bench observing them. He had blond hair, and Bethany thought he looked like an angel. She was sure she must make his acquaintance. She pondered how best to approach him. Finally she decided and said, “My mama is dead.”

Darcy heard his daughter's inappropriate remark and hurried to apologize to the young man.

Just as he drew close, he heard the young man say, “so is mine, and my papa too.”

“Oh, Mister, sorry. I love my papa… I would cry… He would go away forever and I would never see him again. Did you cry?”

Yes, I did, and sometimes when I am all alone, I still cry.

Bethany hugged the young man and said, “I do not remember my mama. Ummm, Mister, you look like an angel. Are you from heaven? Can I be your friend?” My name is Bethany.” She got a thoughtful look on her face as though she was evaluating something about her new friend. She said, “My papa is teaching me to play chess. Do you play?”

“Yes, but not very well”

Bethany gave the young man a wickedly sweet smile. “Maybe you could play with me.”

Darcy apologized for his daughter, and began discussing her forwardness and competitiveness with the young man, whose name was Charles Bingley. They did indeed have grief in common, even though its appearance was radically different in each.

Their personalities were very different, but somehow their strengths and weaknesses as individuals complemented each other. Where Darcy was dour, standoffish and even a bit shy, Bingley was amiable, gregarious and comfortable in most social situations. Darcy was organized, conscientious and meticulously honoured his obligations. Bingley was quite disorganized, and known for his carelessness in many things. He could even be called fickle at times. His carelessness did not extend to his appearance, however. He was always beautifully dressed, and much more colourful than Darcy, who even though no longer in mourning, still favoured black. Darcy had once felt great joy, and now and again in the presence of his sister and children, he saw a glimmer of what he once remembered. Bingley often felt happiness, but he did not particularly dwell on his feelings. However, he did enjoy being in love, and tended to imagine himself in that state quite often. Darcy disliked being in the presence of pompous, supercilious, vain and shallow persons. Bingley did too, but unfortunately he had two sisters that fit that description.

That day they made a bargain. Darcy would accompany Bingley to many events of the Season with the hopes that his discomfort would be lessened. Darcy agreed for his part to help his friend locate an estate. Bingley's father had made a fortune in trade and had wanted his family to gain the status awarded those of the landed gentry.

All in all, it was the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

Chapter 23 - The Portrait of Lord Wolfbridge

Lord Wolfbridge surveyed the females at Almack's. He was sure there were none under seventeen, or at least none who looked young. He really did not care the age, if the look he craved was present. He was bored as usual, and his parents, even his father, were insisting he come home to Matlock. His apparent disregard for his wife was causing gossip that mortified his parents.

He had hoped once he was married, that his time would be his own, but instead the expectations had increased. Twice he had spent time with Eleanor and made her with child, and twice she had lost the baby. He had not thought of this possibility before they married. Once he had an heir, hopefully he would be free to do what he wanted.

He noticed that even though all the young ladies at the assembly tonight must know of his marital status, he still generated a great deal of interest as a dancing partner. If it was not against society's rules, he was sure many of these brazen young women would do more than ogle and insist he dance with them. As it was, the looks he received flattered him into believing that he would still be able to have most women present.

He did not want to leave London. He would send for Eleanor, and they would reside here until he was successful once again. In the beginning, she had exhibited some passion during their coupling, but the second time she was passive, the way Elizabeth Bennet had been. He had gone to her every night with the hopes of greater success; but she was barely a participant. Receiving him was nothing more than an obligation to her.

Both times she lost the baby, Richard had gone to comfort her. Obviously, he still cared for her, and he was quite sure she still cared for him. He had not thought his brother so constant to any woman, and he speculated whether they indulged their affections. Maybe his brother could perform his obligations, leaving him free to pursue his own inclinations. Unfortunately, there were natural facts to childbirth, and all would know he needed to be present at a certain time in order to qualify as the father. He needed to think of a scheme so all three of them were together.

He had observed their sad, longing looks as they stood as godparents to his bastard, and he was sure the entire congregation had been aware… not that the baby was a bastard, but that they had feelings for each other. Darcy had been quite successful at making the world believe the child was his and Anne's. Their deception was reinforced when Anne gave him a second child… and a male child at that. It was unfortunate she died; he truly had some affection for his cousin. What a lucky man Darcy was. He had two healthy children and no wife. He was free to pursue any interest with a minimum of gossip.

If he arranged a situation where he, Richard and Eleanor were all within close proximity of each other, maybe they could carry off a similar deception. He would not want there to be any hint of his not being the father, because he did not want to be thought a cuckold. What a dilemma. He could tolerate an affair between them, as long as the perception of him publicly was not in jeopardy. On the other hand, an affair could be a reason for divorce, and the fifty thousand pounds would stay with him. Then he would be free to pursue some other young… yes, very young woman with a large dowry.

Darcy had confronted him at Bethany's baptism, but he refused to even consider giving the chit any money. Anne and Darcy had made her a wealthy woman; she did not need any of his cash. She had said she had four sisters. He wondered what they were like. That could be an interesting pursuit… to see if he could capture all five sisters.

Lord Wolfbridge saw Darcy across the room. He was amazed he was attending any of the events of the Season. His cousin seemed enormously uncomfortable, but very popular. Perhaps that was the reason he was uncomfortable. What an idiot he was. It was true, the chatter was about his wealth, his beautiful estate and occasionally his looks thrown in for ballast. Most were in agreement that he would be more appealing if he would smile and not hug the sides of the room. He was with an amiable young man whose job it seemed to be to goad his cousin into minimal social interaction.

They also seemed to be accompanied by a young woman, who definitely wanted the room to think she was with Darcy. She would seek him out around the fringes of the assemblage and insinuate her arm in his. She seemed to be trying to win his approval through a running repartee. He wondered what her subject matter was. If it wasn't books or the theatre, he was sure she had not a chance. He hoped she was not filling him in on all the gossip or evaluating the participants as to clothes and appearance. That was not his cousin's preference. She was not unattractive, but he really questioned her style. Everything she wore was of the finest quality, but there was too much… lace, feathers, beads… she was a perfect example of gilding the lily.

A few days later, he saw Darcy and his blond friend playing with some children… two girls around three or four and a boy that looked to be two. The blond young man seemed to be engaging in swordplay with the children. They each had a paper tricorn hat and a patch over one eye. Obviously they were pirates. When they removed their garb, he saw the one girl had beautiful chestnut curls. He realized he was looking at his daughter, and she looked like her mother. He wondered what her eyes were like, so he decided to get a closer look.

“Hello, Darce. I saw you the other night at Lord Cleveland's ball. You did not seem to be enjoying yourself.”

“No, I was not, but I am making an effort this season to be sociable among the ton. I need to be open, for my children's sake, to the possibility of remarrying. My friend here is giving me moral support and advice in my pursuit. Charles Bingley, may I present my cousin, Lord Wolfbridge.”

Bethany walked up to the group of men, looked at Lord Wolfbridge and said, “You look like my Papa.” She screwed up her face and peered intently at him. “You smile more.” She thought to herself that somehow his smiling did not make him more pleasing.

He looked back at her just as intently. Her eyes were just like her mother's. They were green with those unique flecks of gold and gleamed with the same intelligence. She seemed larger than he would have thought her mother to be at three. Perhaps she would have his height. He said to the little girl who continued to stare unabashedly at him, “I am his cousin. My wife, Lady Eleanor is your godmother.”

For the first time, Bethany smiled. “Lady Eleanor is nice… so is Cousin Richard. I am lucky. They give me presents.” Once again she looked quizzically at him. “Are you Cousin Edmund that Papa talks about?”

“Yes, we have met. I was at your baptism and your first Christmas.”

“Hmmm… I must have forgotten. You met my dog, Bottom? He is back at Pemberley. I wish he was here… he would be a good pirate.” For the first time, she gave him a rather lukewarm smile. She was not sure she liked him. “This is my brother, Lewis. He does not talk good yet. We have to go back to playing with my friend.” She curtsied, and she and her brother ran off to continue playing pirate.

Edmund had done his duty and returned to Matlock. He and Eleanor had spent most nights together, and after six months, she once again was exhibiting signs of being with child. She seemed to conceive quite easily, but struggled to carry the child. His mother told him she thought her sadness contributed to her losing the babies. He remembered that his mother had lost several.

He was anxious to be out and about. Once he knew she was definitely with child, he would remove himself and indulge in some pleasure. He planned to find Wickham and enjoy some sport with him.

While he waited, he was spending his time doing something quite radical for him… he was reading. A friend at White's had recommended two books, he thought Lord Wolfbridge would enjoy. They were the Marquis de Sade's Justine and Juliette. He was indeed enjoying them.

Chapter 24 - Elizabeth Puts Away Childish Things

Elizabeth Bennet leaned toward the window of the post. The terrain was becoming more familiar. She would be home in a couple of hours. Her uncle, Dr. Wilder, and even Mr. Darcy had offered to arrange for her return to Hertfordshire by hired carriage; but Elizabeth felt the need to economize. She did not want the ladies of Meryton gossiping about how fine she had become during her year of absence. She would be glad to be back in Hertfordshire, but was concerned about keeping everything that had happened in the past year a secret.

Elizabeth was arriving just before Christmas, and she knew her youngest sisters, Kitty and Lydia, would only care about the presents she brought. Before she left Derbyshire, Mrs. Wilder helped her choose bonnets for all her sisters and her mother from Mr. Davies' store. In addition, there was an assortment of ribbons, new kidskin gloves for each and some very fine Irish linen handkerchiefs. She had spent the last month of her confinement embroidering them - forget-me-nots for Jane, lilies for Mary, violets for Kitty, daffodils for Lydia and roses for her mother.

She thought about the two knives… one sturdy and utilitarian, the other a beautiful silver dagger… one in her reticule and the other in her box. She wished she could have brought a knife home for each of her sisters, but she knew not how she could have encouraged them to carry a knife without disclosing her dishonour.

The Hintons, Jamie, Mrs. Wilder, and even Mr. Davies had contributed to a box of presents and supplies for her trip home. Mr. Hinton had gotten a beautiful wooden box from Mr. Davies. He inlaid iron scrollwork into the top and fashioned a lock and key. The design of both the lock and the scrollwork was a heart and Elizabeth got tears in her eyes when she first observed the box and its contents.

Bronwyn had contributed a supply of madeleines to eat during the trip. Jamie and Bronwyn had made her a sage tea to stop the flow of milk, and included strips of cloth she could use to wrap her breasts in the interim. Grif and Ang had included one of the bandalores with a note decorated with hearts telling her they would share the other one. Jamie had included sheet music for John Gay's A Beggar's Opera and an Irish whistle; but the gift that caused her to become most emotional was a beautiful silver Celtic cross from Mrs. Wilder to replace her garnet one.

For the last hours of her journey, her thoughts drifted to Mr. And Mrs. Darcy. She was pleased she had gotten a promise from Mrs. Darcy to confess her role that day at Darcy House. If he at least knew she had been trapped, perhaps he would not think her merely mercenary. She hoped he would realize her right for revenge and consequently not judge his daughter by her actions. The details of that day were too painful to remember, and she knew she would never be able to share them with anyone… she hoped one day she would simply forget.

The conversation she had with Anne made her realize how much she had wanted forgiveness. She had given it freely once Anne had promised to confess. More than anything she wanted to believe her baby would be happy, loved and well cared for. She chuckled to herself when she remembered speaking to Anne of her “modest proposal” and how she had seemed unfamiliar with the reference. A man who had been in the coach the entire trip stared at her as she sighed, remembering how her modest proposal of six thousand pounds had been usurped by Mrs. Darcy's truly modest proposal to take the baby… albeit not to eat.

Elizabeth remembered the other thing she had learned during that discussion with Mrs. Darcy. Lord Wolfbridge had, indeed, married Eleanor Harding. The surge of guilt she had felt at the time came back full force. She realized her pursuit of revenge had been at the expense of this woman's happiness. She and her uncle should have communicated how despicable the viscount was. Anne had agreed to confess her guilt; but how would Elizabeth atone for hers.

She needed to put thoughts of the Darcys behind her. Being cooped up in the coach gave her too much time to remember him in particular… his dimples when she made him laugh, his perplexed look as she lay on the floor in her bare feet quoting Shakespeare and his stolen glances he thought she did not observe when they were alone reading.

Elizabeth smiled broadly at her next thought. Hopefully, she would never see or hear from the Darcys again; but she eagerly anticipated hearing from the rest of her friends in Derbyshire. They had all promised to write. Mrs. Wilder would include letters from Jamie so her parents would not question the propriety of corresponding with a man. Bronwyn and Mrs. Reynolds had agreed to write, although Mrs. Reynolds would correspond through her uncle, so no association with Pemberley was perceived. She encouraged all to come to Hertfordshire to visit her. Jamie might be a good match for Jane. She laughed out loud, and the man in the coach was startled. Oh Lord, once again, she realized, she was not that different from her mother.

As arranged, the Gardiners came to Longbourn for Christmas. They arrived before Elizabeth. Prior to her arrival, Mr. Gardiner communicated to her parents the agreed upon story of the legacy from Mrs. Thomas. He explained that Lizzy had instructed the money be sent to her uncle. The amount was substantial, but not enough to make her wealthy. She had instructed him to invest the amount with the hopes that it would grow and be enough to ensure Mrs. Bennet was well cared for in the event of Mr. Bennet's demise.

Mrs. Bennet was initially ecstatic, but became less so when she realized the money could not be used to increase the finery of her daughters' clothes, but was partially mollified, when it was hinted by her brother that there might be enough to increase their dowries.

Mr. Bennet made no comment to his brother, but was resolved to question Lizzy when she returned. He felt relieved that their financial crisis was lessened; but Mr. Gardiner could tell he felt discomfort that the security of his family had been won, not by him, but by his daughter.

Upon Elizabeth's arrival at Longbourn, she was warmly greeted by her family. For the first time in a long time, she relaxed a bit, knowing she was back where she belonged. She felt loved as she shared hugs and kisses with her family. When her father embraced her, she instinctively stiffened. He smelled of tobacco and port… smells she had never minded before, but which now repulsed her because of the association with the viscount.

Elizabeth felt coolness in the greeting of Jane, and she was aware her father was unhappy with her reaction to his embrace. She knew she would have to talk to them privately to try to set their relationships right. She would catch Jane before bed tonight, and spend time with her father tomorrow morning. They had always been the two early risers in the family.

Her mother chattered on about the entire goings on in the neighborhood. Her competitiveness with Lady Lucas had not diminished. Lizzy learned that Charlotte Lucas was to marry Colonel Lawrence Forster next week. Charlotte had written of her engagement; but Elizabeth was a little disconcerted that she would be going away so soon.

Mary told her that Becky and Sir Walter Trent had gone to Bath to economize. Sir Walter had let Netherfield to an Admiral Calderwood. He was not young, and had a wife but no children.

Mrs. Bennett added to that bit of news by saying, “Yes, unfortunately there is no potential for husbands for any of you at Netherfield. I have heard Mrs. Calderwood might have a brother who is a captain in the navy, but currently he is at sea.”

All of her daughters including Elizabeth groaned in unison, and Lydia said, “But Mama, I am only eleven and Kitty is only twelve.”

Elizabeth wished she could chime in with the information that she did not want to marry… ever.

Mrs. Bennet ignored her daughters and continued to prattle on. “Now that Sir Walter is not in the neighbourhood, Longbourn becomes the most important estate. I am quite distressed because that means I should have precedence over our neighbours; but Lady Lucas insists that since she is the wife of a knight, she is the most important.”

At this all too familiar complaint, all of her daughters rolled their eyes. Elizabeth smiled and realized that at least her mother had not changed during her year's absence.

That night, Elizabeth went to Jane's room for a private talk. Jane was indeed cool, but as Elizabeth talked to her, she realized it was not because she was angry with her sister, as much as she had pulled into a shell like a tortoise. Her reticence was the armour she wore to keep from being wounded again. Elizabeth knew all too well, how strong the impulse to withdraw when unhappy was, and her heart went out to her sister.

“Jane, I know I should have been here to help you make sense of your feelings for George Trent, but you need to fight against your disappointment. You are by far the most beautiful of all the young ladies in the county. In fact, when I went to the theatre in London, I saw none who were as lovely as you.” Lizzy shuddered at the thought of that night, but composed her face to hide her true feelings.

Elizabeth continued to try to bolster her sister's confidence. “I do not want Mama to know; but I think there will be enough money from my legacy to establish a five thousand pound dowry for you. I know it would still not have been enough to compete with Miss Green; but I refuse to allow my dearest, loveliest sister to fall into deep despair. You have always been the joy of me, and I will not be satisfied until you are the most happily married woman in all of England. My job will be to teach your children to play musical instruments poorly but passionately, and to speak and read French. I am also excellent at making and flying kites, and you will not believe the skill I have developed playing with a new toy called a bandalore.”

Jane laughed at her sister's encouragement. Still she saw something in Lizzy's eyes that hinted at a sadness that had never been there before. She allowed Elizabeth to fold her into her arms and rub her back.

Later that night, Jane was awakened by noises from Elizabeth's room. She was asleep but thrashing about and begging someone to stop. She distinctly heard her say that she had four sisters. Jane crawled into bed with her sister and reciprocated rubbing her back. She quieted quickly under Jane's touch. Jane wondered what it all meant.

Elizabeth awoke at dawn and went for a short walk before knocking on the door to her father's study.

“Enter”

“Papa, I wanted to talk to you alone about what has happened to me.”

“Good, Elizabeth. I can tell you are changed, and I want to make sure all is well with you.”

Elizabeth realized she had used a poor choice of phrase, and consequently, he had surmised something had changed in her demeanour. That was not what she wanted to talk to him about. She had to think of some humourous way to deflect his probing. She said, “I think I am as I always was. I admit I am a little bit older, and I have acquired some amazing wisdom that I am in keen anticipation of exhibiting for you. To that end, I spent my time reading and reading, sometimes through both the night and the day until my eyes got weary, but luckily my hair did not turn grey. Other than that, the only things that have changed are, I am richer, and I have bosoms. Be aware, Papa, I have not played chess the whole time I have been gone, so you should challenge me immediately before I get my game back.”

Her father laughed at his daughter. “I noticed you had grown. Now tell me just how rich are you?”

“Not very, but I am rich enough to provide for Mama after you are gone. You may quit worrying about that, and concentrate on the estate. Uncle will be procuring a young man to help you. He will be a steward in training. He will live here with us, and he will, under your direction, help you with the management of Longbourn. Mary and I will continue to keep the books and read and write your correspondence. You have been without help too long.”

Mr. Bennet knew his most intelligent daughter had used her gift for humour to deflect his inquiries. He decided for the moment not to press her; but he was convinced something traumatic had happened to her. Even with his diminished sight, he could see sadness in her eyes. He became even more convinced when she asked him to help her with Mrs. Bennet. “Papa, I have decided I do not want to marry. The legacy that I received will allow me to live modestly, in addition to taking care of Mama. Please intervene on my behalf, and help me convince her that my decision is for the best. I also do not want to go out into company. I think I can abide house parties with our neighbours, but I would like to avoid assemblies and balls. I really do not want any wider company than the four and twenty families of our neighbourhood.”

Mr. Bennet agreed to her request, but determined he would ask one final question that had been nagging him since she arrived home. He would listen to her answer carefully, since he was sure it was somehow connected to the mystery “Lizzy, what happened to your garnet cross?”

Lizzy touched the silver cross at her neck, paused for a moment, then replied, devoid of emotion, but great sadness in her eyes, “I lost it along with a few other things while I was gone.”

Elizabeth was very pleased with the changes in her sister Mary. Before going to London, she had judged her younger sister as self-righteous and too stern in her outlook toward others. Her interaction with Mr. Bennet seemed to have taken the edge off her natural tendency to dismiss others for their failings. The irony of her evaluation of Mary was that she and her father had also been experts at condemning others. They, however, were skilled at reproaching with sly humour. Sometimes her father's sarcastic wit stung its recipient a bit too much, while Elizabeth had an archness combined with sweetness that was not as offputting as either his caustic barbs or Mary's sanctimonious criticisms.

Mary had developed a sense of humour during the past year. She told her sister it was the only way she could ensure harmony with her father. Every day he would almost reduce her to tears with his merciless witty attacks. His main target was her fervent religious beliefs. The day Elizabeth's letter had come advising the two of them to curtail their theological debates, she resolved to change. That night, as she lay in bed, she decided to fight wit with wit.

The next day, she launched her first successful foray into humourous attacks on his character. She asked him with a stern face whether he was reconciled to going to Hell. He looked at her, ready to pounce, thinking she was as self-righteous as ever, when she concluded that she could not imagine he would be able to collect all the needed species of beetles he had promised God. In fact, she was quite sure he had not collected even one in the last two years. Besides, she was beginning to doubt he would ever leave England, so how would he ever collect those in other lands. She told her father that maybe it was time to strike another bargain with God. Perhaps he could agree to be pleasant to his middle daughter until he was called. Mary knew she was successful when he threw back his head and laughed.

Elizabeth enjoyed working with her sister on the books and her father's correspondence. They would chat and laugh as they worked, and were pleasantly surprised that they were quite similar in many ways. Elizabeth was pleased that Mary, who had always been a great reader of sermons, had expanded her interests. Mary explained that she had recently become enamoured of Daniel Defoe. She had been reading some of his religious pamphlets when their father insisted she read his novels. She did, and now she was even reading Jonathon Swift's Gulliver's Travels, which was said to parody Robinson Crusoe. She was hooked. She still read sermons, but felt the additional reading expanded her horizons.

Mary shared with Lizzy the other experience that had changed her. She found that learning to enter debits and credits in her father's ledger had given her a new way of evaluating acquaintances. Before she made a judgment as to their character, she made a human ledger. She balanced all a new acquaintance's attributes against their flaws. She was amazed to realize that her first impression was often not what the ledger approach concluded. Elizabeth wished, as she listened to her sister's process for sketching a character, that she had learned such an important skill before she had gone to London.

About six months after Elizabeth arrived home, two events occurred. A young man, Mr. John Reynolds, came to fill the position of steward. He was eighteen, even taller than Mr. Darcy, and was Mrs. Reynolds' nephew. He was what she had heard referred to as gangly, and had a very quiet and calm personality. He reminded her of his aunt in both his personality and the air of efficiency he projected.

Mrs. Reynolds soon wrote her through her uncle to tell her how pleased she was that her nephew had taken the position. She assured Elizabeth that he knew nothing about their acquaintance. The only thing she told her about her daughter was that the Darcy's had baptized her Elizabeth Anne, and they called her Bethany. She communicated that Mrs. Darcy was with child. Elizabeth worried that a child of their own could jeopardize the treatment of Bethany; but decided she would trust Mr. Darcy to be honourable. Mrs. Reynolds reassured her of Mr. Darcy's scrupulous commitment to obligations.

The other event was that Elizabeth was adopted by a dog. She often walked early in the morning as an antidote to sleeplessness. She got to the top of Oakham Mount one morning, and there he stood like a sentinel, the ugliest ugly dog she had ever seen. He was big and looked to have some Irish Wolfhound in him. Sir Walter had several of those when she was younger. This dog's parentage must have been the result of one of Sir Walter's Wolfhounds getting out and visiting the gaming den on the far side of Meryton. She had heard that dog fighting and bull baiting took place there, and the dogs of choice for those sports were Old English Bulldogs. Somehow the characteristics of the two breeds did not blend, but instead seemed to exist as though the animal was put together with pieces of two dogs. The short hair of the Bulldog would stop abruptly to allow patches of the long wiry hair of the Wolfhound. He was brindled and had obviously been in numerous fights. Half his right ear was missing, and his right eye drooped from another injury. He was frightening looking, but Elizabeth was drawn to him. Instinctively she knew he was destined to protect and befriend her, and he knew she too was an outsider. She laid out her blanket and sat to watch the sun rise over the meadow. He lay down on the blanket beside her and put his head in her lap. She named him Caliban. She had sworn she would never think of The Tempest again, but she took one look at the dog's deformities, and knew there could be no other name. He would teach her to survive as Caliban taught Prospero

© 2008 Copyright held by the author.

---