My Funny Valentine
Sarmistha pulled the last of her clothes out of her large suitcase and placed them on the bed before turning to open the drawers her fiancé had designated for her use. The couple had recently become engaged and although she'd managed to carve out a bit of space for the few things she'd been keeping at his place before then, she was now starting to move into what would eventually become her home. The move would not become official until her own apartment was sold, but Sarmistha and Richard decided that since she was at his apartment half the time, anyway, she may as well begin moving her things in.
Her side of the large dresser had three large drawers and one small one at the top. Sarmistha decided to use that for her underwear and, after disposing of the rest of her things in the larger drawers, she pulled the top drawer completely out of the dresser so she could arrange things in it more easily. As she tugged at the drawer, she saw something fall to the floor. She placed the drawer on the bed and went to look at it. It was an envelope approximately five inches square, and it was heavy for its size. Curious, Sarmistha opened it and slipped out the Valentine's Day card inside. It was a few days before Valentine's Day, but she assumed that Richard had meant to give her an early surprise. The card was blank inside and it was unsigned, but Sarmistha smiled and pulled out the CD that was inside the envelope. It bore a red label, but no information as to what it contained. Wondering what Richard was up to, she took the CD over to the player on the nightstand and put it on.
My funny valentine, sweet comic valentine
You make me smile with my heart
Your looks are laughable, un-photographical
Yet, you're my favorite work of art...
Richard came home a half hour later and found Sarmistha in tears. She was packing her things back into her suitcase and it was obvious that she'd spent some time going around the apartment and collecting the things she'd added to the place. The bed was covered with her possessions and there were shopping bags and newspaper on the floor beside it for taking home the things that wouldn't fit into the suitcase.
“What's going on?” her bewildered fiancé demanded. “What the hell are you doing?”
“I'm packing!” Sarmistha shouted as she flung her hairbrush into the suitcase. “What does it look like I'm doing?” Richard recoiled in shock. He'd never heard Sarmistha raise her voice before. But then he'd never seen her angry before and she was clearly infuriated about something.
Is your figure less than Greek?
Is your mouth a little weak?
“Tell me, something, Richard! If you thought so little of me, why did you ask me to marry you?” Sarmistha demanded, rising to her feet and invading his personal space. Richard gulped and took a step back. He looked around as though he wanted to make sure he was in his own apartment and being yelled at by his own fiancée.
“What are you talking about? I love you, Mish, you know that!”
“Then why did you give me that, that--?”
“That what? What did I give you?” the bewildered man asked.
“This!” Sarmistha said as she stormed over to the nightstand, removed the CD from the player and hurled it at him. Richard immediately ducked the flying object, which was aimed at his head.
“I wouldn't stay if you were the last man on earth!” Sarmistha screamed as Richard bent down to pick up the disk.
“Where did you find this? I've been looking all over for it,” he said as he carefully dusted it off. Sarmistha glared at him.
“It was right there in my drawer where you left it for me.” Richard frowned.
“No it wasn't. I never put it in that drawer and I certainly didn't leave it for you. I burned this CD for my mother a week ago.”
“What?” Sarmistha said in a tiny voice.
“My mom wanted a recording of it and asked if I could download it for her. I was going to send it to her in a Valentine's Day card.”
“Why?” Sarmistha asked as she sheepishly folded her arms and avoided his gaze. She would later to have to confess to destroying the card.
“I have no idea why. She asked me for it so I did it. May I ask a few questions now?” Richard asked, calmer now that he was beginning to figure out what had happened. Sarmistha turned away as tears began to well up in her eyes once again. She nodded, however, and Richard sighed.
“I was very hurt,” she said before he could ask the question. “I thought you were mocking me.”
“I wasn't.”
“I know that now.”
“It's just a song, Mish. Hell, it was written almost seventy years ago...when women were apparently less uptight and insecure about the men in their lives,” Richard said gently.
“And women were more tolerant of insults?” Sarmistha replied as Richard enfolded her in his arms and nuzzled the back of her neck. “It's a stupid song.”
“And you were going to leave me because of it?” He turned her around and lifted her face to force her to look into his eyes. “Is what we built together so tenuous that you'd leave me because two guys wrote a stupid song and this stupid guy downloaded it and lost it and you found it and played it and--. Sarmistha turned in his arms and smiled up at him. The sight of that eased all his worries and he pulled her into a tight hug.
“I guess I overreacted.”
“I'm glad you don't hold the keys to a missile silo,” Richard teased. Sarmistha leaned her forehead on his shoulder and he could tell she was blushing with embarrassment and contrition. He was not about to let her get away with her misdeed, however. “You, my love, are so going to pay for this.” He lifted her face again. “If, that is, you still love me and you still want to marry me.” Sarmistha nodded solemnly and stood on her toes to kiss him. They kissed passionately for some time before the need for oxygen forced them apart.
“So what's my penance?” Sarmistha asked softly as she rested her head on his shoulder. Richard looked over her shoulder.
“Well, first you're going to have to clear off that bed. Then I'd like to lie down and think about it for a while,” Richard said with a wicked gleam in his eye. Sarmistha quickly cleared away her things, dumping the suitcase on the floor and carrying the more fragile objects to the dresser and placing them on it. By the time she was done, Richard had undressed. He slid under the covers and gazed up at Sarmistha lovingly. After a moment, he patted the mattress. She quickly stripped and climbed into bed to snuggle in his arms.
“You know, it's really not so bad a song, Mish,” Richard said as he stroked her silken hair. “Some parts of it do apply to you.” Sarmistha lifted her head from where she had buried it in his neck to nibble at his throat.
“What parts?” she demanded defensively.
“You're overreacting again. Are we getting hormonal here?” Richard asked carefully, knowing that she was in a fragile emotional state after what had happened and that even standing jokes between them might not go over too well at the moment.
“I'm afraid so,” Sarmistha admitted.
“In that case,” Richard said as he rolled over to carefully straddle his fiancée, “we'd better not waste any time.” He lowered his face to hers but Sarmistha clamped a hand over his mouth before he reached his target.
“What parts?” she repeated.
“Oh, the part about your being my favorite work of art,” Richard said when she released his mouth. He began to scatter kisses over her face and throat. “And the part about not wanting you to change--oh, and the part that begs you to stay.” Again, Sarmistha evaded his kiss, this time to look into Richard's eyes.
“I'm not leaving. If I ever get such a ridiculous notion into my head again, you should lock me up till it goes away.” Richard smiled.
“Good idea. You are hereby confined to this bedroom suite until you learn your lesson, young lady,” Richard said with mock sternness. He resumed his exploration of her body, stopping to look up when he realized that Sarmistha was crying again.
“I'm so sorry, Richard,” she sobbed. “I was stupid and self-absorbed and weak and I should have never opened the card. It wasn't addressed to me--.”
“I wonder where it's been all week?” Richard mused before he rolled over onto his back and pulled Sarmistha to his heart. “It's all right, Mish. I forgive you.”
“I don't deserve your forgiveness,” she managed between sniffs. Richard reached out and grabbed a tissue from the nightstand. Sarmistha sat up and wiped her eyes and nose.
“We should probably sit down and have a long talk about this at some point,” Richard said. “Right now, however, I'd very much like to forget about what happened earlier and make love to you.” He reached out for Sarmistha, but she evaded him.
“I must look a complete fright,” she said as she slid out of bed and headed for the bathroom. Richard sighed and laid back to await her return. “Do I look any better now?” she asked a few minutes later. Richard lifted his head to take in her red-rimmed eyes, pouting lips and disheveled hair. He reached out for her and as she climbed into bed he began to sing.
My funny valentine, sweet comic valentine
You make me smile with my heart
Your looks are laughable, un-photographical
Yet, you're my favorite work of art...
Is your figure less than Greek?
Is your mouth a little weak?
When you open it to speak are you smiling?
But don't change a hair for me,
Not if you care for me.
Stay little valentine, stay!
Each day is Valentine's Day!
Sarmistha smiled and kissed Richard sweetly, before she punched him hard in the stomach.
“We have to do something about those hormones of yours.”
“I have a few ideas for that,” Sarmistha said as she pulled Richard to her and rolled over.
The End.