THE FATHER OF HIS BABY

Joanna Neil

Her baby, her secret…

It had been a struggle, but Bethany wouldn’t change a thing about her life -- she had a rewarding job as a GP and an adorable little boy, Sam. But now Dr. Connor Broughton was back in town…

The high flying doctor was only going to be around for a short while. Was it really worth telling Connor about her baby? In the end she didn’t have to -- he found out all on his own. Which caused Connor to raise the one question she didn’t want to answer -- who was Sam’s father?

CHAPTER ONE

'How long is Connor planning to stay around, now that he's back in Devon, do you know?'

Her mother's softly voiced question caught Bethany completely off guard. She was in the middle of the usual morning battle of trying to tug two-year-old Sam's T-shirt over his head while he was doing his utmost to resist her best efforts, but now her mind was dragged abruptly away from all that.

'I'm not really sure, Mum,' she said carefully, while Sam took advantage of her distraction and managed to wriggle free of the shirt once more. 'He rang the surgery and spoke to Martin, so I don't know very much about what he has in mind, only what Martin has told me.'

Ever since she'd heard the news she'd tried not to think about Connor coming back to his home town... It sent her mind into turmoil, into a tailspin...but she wasn't going to be able to avoid it for ever, was she?

By now, Sam was making an all-out attempt to squirm out of her arms. 'Mummy...' he said, making an exaggerated grimace, his pink mouth widening to show his perfect white milk teeth, '...me want go and play.' He said it as though he thought she didn't quite have a grip on the situation.

Bethany looked down at him and smiled, her heart full up with love for this lively little bundle of mischief. Gently, she stroked her fingers through his fair, silky hair, easing it away from his eyes in a tender gesture.

She said softly, 'We'll soon be done, Sam. Just let me get your shirt on and then you can go and find your toys.'

He huffed, but gave way reluctantly, putting his arms stiffly through the offending garment, and Bethany glanced up at her mother, Sarah, a small frown working its way into her brow.

After a little more than three years, Connor was finally coming home. It made her nervous just thinking about it, and her fingers shook a little as she struggled to put on Sam's trousers.

'Martin seems to think that he's taking up a temporary contract of some sort,' she muttered, 'so I don't imagine that he intends to stay around for very long.' Wasn't he always on the move? It was typical of what she might have expected. 'He didn't give any details, but as far as I know he's supposed to be starting work today.'

'I'm surprised he hasn't spoken to you, or tried to make contact in some other way,' her mother murmured thoughtfully, starting to clear the breakfast dishes from the dining table.

Bethany made a face. 'Why would he? It's been more than three years, Mum. His life has probably changed tremendously in that time. I don't suppose it even occurred to him to get in touch with me.'

She lowered her head to hide her suddenly fraught expression. It wouldn't have taken much, would it, for him to have made a simple phone call? She had waited, and wondered, and it hadn't happened, and then she'd become angry with herself for letting him get to her.

'I can't believe that...not when he took the trouble to speak to Martin,' her mother pointed out with a shake of her fair head. 'Besides, he sent letters and cards to you while he was away, so he must still be thinking about you.' She was pensive for a moment. 'Maybe he thought you would be at the surgery when he phoned.'

Bethany gave a small shrug. 'Perhaps. I was the doctor on call that day, though, and I was doing the home visits.' It didn't alter the fact that he still hadn't made the effort to speak to her since then, did it? 'I expect he would have wanted to talk to Martin, anyway. After all, they have been friends for a long time...even before they were at medical school together, and they have an awful lot in common.'

'I know they have,' her mother said. 'They used to play cricket together on Sunday afternoons, didn't they?'

Bethany pushed back the shining tendrils of golden hair that had tumbled about her face. 'That's right...and they were both in the rugby team at med school.' Athletic, vigorous, she could picture Connor now, his powerful, lean frame filling her vision. Annoyed with herself for daydreaming, she pushed the image away.

By now, Sam was thoroughly fed up with being restrained and made another all-out attempt to escape. Coming back to earth, she gave him a quick smile. 'OK, Sam. You're all done now. Why don't you go and look in your toy box and see if you can find something to play with?'

He nodded with a sudden rush of enthusiasm. 'I will.' Happily, he beamed at her. 'I go find my cars.' Free at last, he ran off towards the space under the open staircase and began to rummage noisily through the toys that were stacked there.

Her mother's mouth curved in a smile as she watched her grandson make his gleeful escape. Then she turned to glance back at Bethany. 'Whatever Connor's intentions are, he's going to have a lot of catching up to do.'

Bethany pulled in a sharp breath, her green eyes clouding. 'Maybe... We'll see.'

'He's bound to have a lot of questions. Have you thought about what you're going to tell him?'

'Not yet.' If he stayed away, she might not need to say anything at all...

'Brmm...brmm...' A bright red sports car shot past her feet. 'Look at that—see that?' Sam came skidding back into the room, following the car.

'I did,' Bethany said, giving him a smile. 'It's a racer, isn't it?' She glanced down at the watch on her wrist and then, alarmed to see how quickly the time was slipping away, said to her mother, 'I ought to be setting out for the surgery. Will you manage all right here?'

'Of course I will. You go off to work.'

Sam's face puckered. 'You no go work, Mummy,' he demanded in a quavering voice, pulling at her skirt with his small fist. 'You stay. Play wiv me.' His expression pleaded with her and tugged at her heart at the same time.

'I wish I could stay with you, sweetheart,' Bethany murmured shakily, crouching down next to him and wrapping her arms around his little body. 'But I can't today, I have to go to work at the surgery.' She cuddled him, holding him tight. 'I won't be too long, though, I promise, and I'll be back here at lunchtime to see you.'

His lip quivered and she said gently, 'Why don't you go and get your garage and see if you can make the cars go down the ramp? You like doing that, don't you?'

He thought about it, and must have decided that it was a good idea because with the fickleness of a two-year-old he ran off to search through his toys once more. Watching him go, Bethany got to her feet, a small frown hovering about her eyes.

'He'll be fine with me, don't worry,' Sarah said quietly. 'We'll take a walk down to the beach later on if the weather stays fine. He always likes to look at the boats and throw pebbles into the sea.'

Bethany smiled. 'I'm glad you're looking after him, Mum. I don't know how I would come to terms with it if I had to leave him with anybody else. With you, I know he'll be safe and happy. That's the only way I can get through the day.'

Sarah's mouth curved. 'I love having him with me, you know that.'

'I do.' Bethany gave her a hug, and went off to search for her medical bag. Just a few minutes later she went out of the house, waving goodbye to her mother and Sam as she walked to her car.

It was always a wrench, leaving Sam like this, but being a single parent didn't leave her much choice, did it? She needed to work, to keep a roof over their heads. And besides, it had taken her years of sustained effort to become a GP and it would have been a terrible waste if she hadn't been able to get on with the career she had planned.

It didn't stop her from feeling guilty, though, and sometimes she thought that perhaps she would feel like this for the rest of his young life.

As always, the journey along the coast road helped to soothe her a little. The bay was bathed in sunlight this morning, promising a glorious day to come. The sea was a vivid blue, tranquil, reflecting the sun's rays in diamond streamers that spread out across its surface.

Turning inland, she drove the remaining couple of miles to the surgery, along winding roads that were bordered by beautiful thatched cottages, some of them with roses scrambling round their doors and their walls hung with colourful baskets. It was a pretty sight, calming, and gradually she began to feel much better. Sam would be all right. He was in good hands.

Martin was already in Reception when she arrived at the surgery. He was engrossed in studying a letter that must have arrived in the post that morning, but as Bethany walked into the room he lifted his head and greeted her cheerfully.

'Hi, Bethany. You look like a breath of fresh air this morning.' He waved a hand towards the waiting room. 'Looks like we might have a busy day today. The waiting room's filling up already. There must have been an influx of tourists over the last week or so—I don't recognise some of the faces out there...'

He paused, looking distractedly down at his letter once more, his brow creasing in a dark line.

'Is something wrong?' Bethany asked.

He shook his head. 'This is from the public health department. It looks as though we're going to get a visit from one of their officials some time today.'

'Why is that, do they give a reason?'

Martin grimaced. 'Something to do with a potential problem that could affect the area we cover. They don't specify what, but apparently they need to make some kind of investigation.'

Bethany sighed. 'That's all we need in the middle of the tourist season.' There were just three doctors in the practice, herself, Martin Colby and Jeff Harrison, and they had their work cut out providing cover for this part of the sprawling Devonshire market town and the surrounding hamlets.

'Too true.' Martin put' the letter to one side and glanced at her once more. He must have noticed that she wasn't her usual self today because a hint of concern came into his grey eyes. 'Are you OK? Have you had a difficult weekend?'

'No, nothing like that. I love the weekends. They're the one chance I get to spend time with Sam.'

He nodded. 'I can understand that. I just thought you looked a little tired, that's all. Is Sam OK? You said last week you thought he might be coming down with a cold.'

'He's all right. He had a couple of restless nights, but he seems to be fine. It was probably just the heat that kept him awake, and the lack of sleep probably reflects on me after a while.'

Martin was sympathetic. 'If there's ever anything I can do to help, you know that I'm always here to give you a hand—we could rearrange the schedules if it would make things easier for you.'

She shook her head, so that her hair shimmered in a golden cloud about her face. 'Thanks, Martin, but you don't need to do that. Anyway, you have enough on your plate as it is. I'll be fine, don't worry about me.' She knew that any alteration in their arrangements would only cause more work for the other members of the practice, and she didn't want that on her conscience.

'That's easier said than done,' he said wryly. 'You know that all I ever want is what's best for you.'

'I do,' Bethany murmured sincerely, giving him a smile. 'You've been so good to me over these last few years. You're a great friend to have around.'

He grinned. 'I'm glad you think so.'

He turned away to check his list of morning patients, and she studied him surreptitiously for a moment.

He was tall and good-looking, with fair hair framing an honest face, and she felt a surge of affection well up in her. He was a good, kind man, and he had always been on her side. He would never let her down, she knew that, just as she also knew that she only had to say the word and he would be only too happy to be more than a colleague to her.

Pensively, she chewed at her lip. She couldn't make that move, and it made her sad to disappoint him. They had dated a few times in the past, but there had been no tremendous spark of feeling on her part. She liked him as a friend, that was all.

He seemed to accept that, but he still wanted to spend time with her and they would go out together occasionally for a drink or a meal. She guessed that he would make someone a wonderful partner but, as far as she knew, there was no one special in his life.

A phone trilled, bringing her sharply out of her reverie. The receptionist, Anna, hurried to answer the call, and Bethany nodded to her.

'Morning, Anna,' she said brightly, once Anna had put the phone down again. Bethany scanning her list of patients for the morning. 'I suppose I had better make a start,' she murmured.

Anna returned the greeting with a cheery smile. She, above all others, kept the place going. A brunette, in her thirties, she was invariably bright and bubbly, full of energy, and she could be relied on to keep both the doctors and the patients in order.

She went on, 'Mrs Finch came in early to see you, Bethany, and I've put her name down first on your list. From the look of her, she seems to be in a bit of pain this morning.'

Bethany glanced over at the waiting room and frowned. 'She does, doesn't she? I'll get started right away. Just give me a minute to get settled in my room, and then you can send her along to me.'

Anna nodded. 'Will do. Do you want me to bring you a coffee in ten minutes or so?'

'That would be lovely, thanks.' Bethany picked up her list and went along the corridor to her room.

A few moments later, there was a knock on her door, and Maureen Finch came into the room, a dark-haired woman in her mid-forties.

'Hello, Maureen,' Bethany said with a smile. 'What can I do for you today?'

'I've been having trouble with my stomach again, Dr Vaughan,' Maureen answered, wincing and rubbing a hand over her midriff. 'I wondered if you could give me some medicine for the pain. It makes me catch my breath sometimes.'

Bethany checked her notes on the computer screen. On Mrs Finch's last visit to the surgery she had complained of similar pain, and the doctor she had seen then had prescribed an antacid medicine.

'I think I'd better examine you,' Bethany murmured. 'Would you lie down on the couch for me so that I can have a look at you?'

'Oh, do you really need to do that? I'm in a bit of a hurry this morning,' Maureen demurred hastily. 'It's just indigestion, you know. I only need a bit more of the white medicine that I had before.'

'Does it help?' Bethany asked.

There was a brief hesitation, followed by a faint shrug. 'Well, it does sometimes.'

Bethany glanced at the computer screen once more. 'You saw Dr Harrison last time,' she commented lightly, 'and from the notes he made it looks as though you had previously seen Dr Colby about similar symptoms.'

'That's right.' Mrs Finch nodded. 'I've been having trouble for a while, but it's nothing serious, I'm sure. It's just that I get a bit stressed sometimes and that starts it off.'

Bethany nodded. 'Even so, Maureen, I think it's important that we investigate the problem a little more, just to make certain that we've not overlooked anything.'

Maureen sighed. 'Well, if you really think it's important... I suppose you can't just keep on prescribing the same thing, can you?'

Bethany made a quick but thorough examination and discovered that there was some abdominal tenderness and that Maureen's temperature was slightly raised.

'Have you been sick at all?' she enquired lightly.

Maureen shrugged. 'Once or twice. Nothing too bad, you know. It's just that I get upset every once in a while—my husband works long hours, seven days a week, and he tends to be irritable and argumentative when he's at home, and I think that makes me feel worse.'

'Hmm. It might be stress that's causing your symptoms,' Bethany said cautiously, 'but I think we need to make sure. I believe it would be best if you go to the hospital and have some tests so that we know what we're dealing with.'

'Tests?' Maureen's eyes widened. 'I thought all I needed was some medicine to put it right. Aren't you going to give me anything?'

Bethany nodded. 'I will, of course, but it's important that we find out exactly what is wrong with you.'

Maureen didn't look at all happy with this situation and Bethany knew that one of the biggest problems she had to face was whether a patient would go along with whatever course of action she suggested. In the end, all she could do was give her opinion, and the rest was up to the patient.

'Well, if that's what you think I must do, then I suppose I'd better go to the hospital,' Maureen said at last, resignedly. 'I'm sure it will be a waste of time, though.'

'I don't think it will, and I'm glad you've decided to take my advice,' Bethany said with a smile, as she began to fill in the necessary form. 'In the meantime, if you're finding that your relationship with your husband is causing you problems, have you thought about asking him to work fewer hours?'

'Oh, yes.' Maureen nodded. 'But it isn't as easy as that. He works for agencies, and if he didn't work all the hours the firms want, they would lay him off. We wouldn't be able to pay the bills if that happens.'

'It's a difficult situation to be in, I can see that,' Bethany murmured, 'but going on this way isn't helping either of you. Could he perhaps take an occasional weekend off?'

'Maybe.' Maureen pulled a face. 'I'll suggest it, but I don't hold out a lot of hope.'

At least she wasn't dismissing everything out of hand, Bethany mused when Maureen had left the surgery.

For the next couple of hours, she worked steadily through her list of patients, and then carefully tidied her desk and went back to Reception.

'There are one or two hospital forms which need to be sent off,' she told Anna, 'and I've dictated a couple of letters to consultants. Do you think you could deal with them for me today?'

'I'll do that,' Anna said. 'You have a visitor, by the way,' she added. 'He wanted to see Dr Colby earlier, but Martin had to go out on an emergency. I sent the man off just a moment ago to get himself a cup of coffee from the lounge. I told him I didn't think it would be too long before you could join him.'

'Is it the man from the public health department?' Bethany asked, a small frown creasing her brow, and Anna nodded, turning away to deal with a patient who had come to the reception window.

'Yes, he wanted to see both of you, but of course he understands that you're busy and you won't be able to see him together.'

Bethany quickly glanced through the post in her tray and then started to head for the lounge. There was still some half an hour before lunch, time enough to deal with her visitor, she hoped.

Opening the door to the lounge, she thought at first that the room was empty. But then her gaze travelled to the window and she saw that a man was standing there. Sunlight glinted on his dark hair.

His back was to her but there was something about him, something about the way he stood, confident and in control, at ease with himself, that made her catch her breath, and caused the skin to prickle along the back of her neck. She knew that stance and she instantly recognised that long, lean, achingly familiar figure.

He must have heard her come into the room, because he turned and looked steadily into her eyes.

'Hello, Beth,' Connor murmured in that slow, infinitely attractive deep drawl that even now had the power to make her knees go weak. 'It's good to see you again. It's been a long, long time, hasn't it?'

She gazed at him, drinking in the sight of him. Too long, she thought. An eternity would be more like it.

His blue eyes were as compelling as ever and she watched him, stunned, unable to say a word because of the way her heart was fiercely pounding, drumming so that she felt the pressure of it coming right up into her throat.

His glance travelled over her, moving from the crown of her head down over the gentle curves of her body, faithfully moulded by the cashmere sweater and the smoothly fitting narrow skirt that finished at her knees.

'You look good,' he said, satisfaction lacing his words. 'Even better than I remembered.'

He came towards her, his long strides covering the space between them in seconds, and then he reached for her, his arms circling her in a sensual caress that made every nerve ending she possessed come to tingling, vibrant awareness.

In the next instant his mouth was seeking hers, his lips pressuring the softness of her own and sending her blood to race in a heated flood tide throughout her entire body.

Her soft curves meshed with his hard muscled body as he drew her closer, and she felt her limbs begin to tremble as she melted into that heated, passionate embrace.

A pulse started up in her throat, hammering so forcefully that she was sure he must be able to feel it. Every ounce of breath seemed to have left her body and she was suddenly intensely vulnerable, desperate for the feel of him, for the touch of his hands on her body. Hadn't she always felt this way around Connor?

After a while he reluctantly ended the kiss, dragging his lips from hers. She gazed up at him dazedly, feeling lost and deprived. Nothing had changed, had it, even after all this time? She still went to pieces at the sight of him.

Now that he had let her go, some small part of her mind slowly began to function again, and a frown began to form around her eyes. How could she have let him shatter her carefully constructed defences so easily, so effortlessly? Had she no pride whatever?

And what was he doing here, anyway?

He looked at her quizzically. 'You seem surprised to see me,' he murmured. 'Didn't Martin tell you that I was back in Devon?'

Bethany struggled to find her words. 'He did, but I didn't know you were coming here,' she managed at last. 'To be honest, I thought you were just someone from the public health department.'

His mouth widened, curving at the corners. 'I am,' he said laconically, stepping back from her a little.

Now that there was at least some small distance between them, she felt her head begin to clear. Her brows met in a furrowed line. 'Then you're here because of your new job?' She felt the tension rise in her all over again. This was just an opportune visit, wasn't it, not something that he had specifically planned?

'I need to sort out a problem that has arisen,' he admitted. 'I'm the new acting head of department—the man who should be in charge is off sick, so I've been appointed to take his place, temporarily.'

'Oh, I didn't know that... Martin didn't say.' It had always been Connor's ambition to do well in the area of public health, but she hadn't realised he'd managed to climb so far up the ladder. 'Perhaps I should have guessed.'

She made an effort to gather her wits. 'So, this isn't just a friendly visit?'

Connor made a wry smile. 'It's unfortunate that I have to combine business with pleasure. I'd much rather this was a social call.'

'That's the way it goes sometimes.' Her mouth was suddenly dry, and she lightly moistened her lips with the tip of her tongue before asking, 'How long are you here for—in Devon, I mean?'

He gave a faint shrug. 'It depends—just a couple of months, probably. The man I'm replacing was taken ill quite suddenly, so the department was caught unawares and had to act quickly. It was a suspected heart attack, but the doctors are still doing tests to confirm exactly what happened to him. If it turns out that he's likely to be off work for any length of time, they'll make another appointment because I've other commitments for the long term.'

It sounded as though he might be on the move again, after his temporary contract came to an end. She tried to absorb the disappointment and said carefully, 'You must be highly thought of if you've been asked to step in. I expect you're well on your way to heading your own department. That's something you've always wanted, isn't it?'

He nodded. 'It is.' He slanted a glance over her. 'And what about you? Are you happy here?'

'Oh, I couldn't have asked for a better situation,' she told him. 'I've been really lucky. We have the best of both worlds here, on the edge of town. We look after some of the local villages round about and we see quite a few tourists who come to stay by the coast in the summer season, so there's a lot of variety. I love it here.'

'It must have been even better for you when you realised that you could work with Martin,' he said, narrowing his gaze to take in the gentle curve of her mouth. 'How did that come about?'

'Jeff Harrison set up practice here a few years ago,' she explained, 'and for a long time it was a one-man show, just catering for the people who lived on the outskirts of the town. The practice expanded quite a bit over time, though, taking in some of the outlying villages, and eventually he found that he couldn't manage on his own. Martin came to work with him and then their workload grew even more when they took in the neighbouring practice after the elderly GP retired. That's when I joined them.'

'Martin seems to be thriving on it, anyway. He looks well, I thought.' He gave her a considering glance. 'You always wanted to be a GP, didn't you, from when you were just a child? Though when we were together last, you were upset about losing a patient and thinking about giving it all up.' He smiled faintly. 'Have you toughened up at all since then?'

A flush of heat ran along Bethany's cheeks. She remembered all too well how distressed she'd been at the time, and how she'd confided her feelings to Connor. She'd always done that, gone to him first and foremost in times of stress. He was someone she could rely on, and he'd always been there for her when she'd needed him.

'I was newly qualified then,' she murmured. 'I hope I'm stronger now.'

It had happened just over three years ago, around the time of her sister's wedding. She had gone to check on a patient in hospital, someone she had come to know and like over the time she had been treating him. He had been admitted for surgery, and after the operation had appeared to be making a good recovery. On the day she'd visited him, though, she'd been shocked to discover that he'd fallen earlier and had suffered a fatal haemorrhage as a result.

'I think it was the suddenness that made it worse,' she said quietly. 'It was so unexpected.'

In fact, there had been much more on her mind than the loss of her patient at the time. Connor had told her that he was going away, to places as far distant as America and Switzerland, where he was to study different medical systems, and she'd found the thought of his departure almost impossible to bear.

They had grown so close over the years, and she'd come to realise just how much he'd meant to her. Those last few months their relationship had moved into new territory. He'd kissed her, let her know that he wanted her, and she'd been consumed by need for him.

Even so, she'd struggled to hold back from anything more. It had been hard for her, because there had never been anyone in her life who'd mattered to her as much as he had. Perhaps she'd been trying to protect herself from being hurt too badly because she'd always known that he would be going away at some point. He hadn't asked her to go with him, and maybe that had been because he'd known that she'd been in the early stages of her GP training.

'It still hurts if I lose a patient,' she went on. 'I suppose it always will, but I think I'm more able to hide my feelings now.'

Back then, she hadn't wanted him to know how desperately upset she'd been about him leaving, but when he'd sympathised with her over the loss of her patient, it had all been too much for her and she'd finally broken down.

He had taken her in his arms, gently soothing her, and the closeness had been her undoing. She had realised then that her life would be empty without him.

'It affects us all, one way or another. There's nothing you can do but learn to accept it.'

'I suppose so.' They had gone on to her sister's wedding, she recalled, where the wine had flowed freely, and they had both indulged a little too much before they'd decided to escape from the crowd to the relative quiet of the summerhouse.

Connor had held her in his arms and kissed her, and it had all been too much for her... The joy of simply being with him had gone to her head and overcome her common sense far more swiftly than any of the alcohol she'd consumed.

Even now, after all this time, the memories of that hot summer evening had the power to make her blush.

All she'd been able to think of then had been that he was going away in the morning, that she wouldn't be able to see him again for a long, long time. Her only consolation had been that at least she would have this one night to remember him by.

Afterwards, though, when the explosive heat of their tumultuous love-making had finally ebbed away, he'd seemed to regret what had happened.

'I'm sorry, Beth,' he'd said. 'That should never have happened...not here, not now...not when I'm leaving for the States tomorrow. I don't know why it did—I couldn't have been thinking straight, and perhaps I was a little crazy for a while.' He'd studied her intently. 'Will you be all right? I mean, you're not likely to get pregnant, are you?'

Connor must have believed that she'd been on the Pill, like many young women, and she remembered shaking her head and saying, 'It's all right. You don't have to worry about that, it doesn't matter.'

He'd seemed relieved. 'That's good,' he'd said, and had added with a rueful smile, 'I don't think I'm ready for fatherhood just yet. I have too many other plans to see through first.'

He'd been ambitious, he'd had ideas for a great future, and that hadn't included taking on a wife and family. That weekend he had simply wanted her. He'd been driven by desire, and when she'd turned to him in love and passion he had let his hunger overcome any normal restraint that he might have had, and she had responded to him in equal measure, needing him desperately.

Bethany realised that he was watching her closely now, curiosity in his gaze as though he was trying to gauge the tension that tightened her jaw, and she wondered frantically whether he could read her mind.

She had to shake off the memories and make an effort to get herself back together. It had all happened a long time ago, and her life had changed dramatically since then. So had his, more than likely.

Now that Connor had come back, she knew in her heart that she still felt the same about him as she had always done. She had loved him from as far back as she could remember, but that just compounded her foolishness, didn't it?

The bitter fact was that he didn't return that love, and she would need to remember that if she didn't want to risk being hurt all over again.

CHAPTER TWO

'I thought we might have lunch together, if you're free,' Connor said. 'I could get us a table at the Haven, if you would like that.'

His words brought Bethany back to the present with a crunch and left her feeling thoroughly off balance. Why had he come back here after all this time, putting temptation in her way?

'I'm sorry,' she said, 'but I can't, not today.' Sam would be waiting for her at home, and there was no way she was going to let him down.

Aware that Connor was looking quizzically at her, she added, 'I've already made arrangements. Perhaps we could meet up for lunch some other time?'

'Of course, if that's what you want,' he said with a faint frown. He wasn't used to being turned down. 'Is it a business meeting?'

He studied her, his head tilted slightly to one side. 'Can't you get out of it?' he asked in a coaxing tone. A hint of a smile lifted the corners of his mouth. 'I really wanted to talk to you some more, and I was hoping we might be able to catch up on old times.'

Old times. He made it sound like a cosy friendship that they'd shared, as comfortable as a well-worn glove. No hint of how he had turned her life upside down and then walked away.

'No, it isn't business,' she said huskily, threading a hand distractedly through the bright mass of her curls, 'but it isn't something that I can change. I'm sorry.'

She was going home to see her little boy and, while it might not seem all that important to anyone else, to her it was an arrangement that was set in stone. She had promised Sam. She didn't see enough of him as it was, and any time that she could spend with him was precious.

'It isn't your fault,' he said ruefully. 'I should have given you some warning.' He looked at her thoughtfully, his blue eyes taking in every detail of her features. 'So tell me, what's happening this lunchtime? Is it something special?'

Bethany sent him a guarded look. 'Not really. It's just that I told my mother that I would be going home today. She'll have prepared something, and I don't want to let her down.'

'Can't I come along with you? Would that be a problem?' He was frowning, and she could understand why. There had been a time when it would have been perfectly natural for him to go home with her—he wouldn't have needed an invitation—and he must think it very odd that she was hesitating now.

She bit her lip. 'Of course,' she murmured, 'you're welcome to come along if you want to. There won't be anything special, though, and I've got to be back in an hour for afternoon surgery.'

He looked startled. 'Don't worry, we'll go in my car and I'll drop you back on time. And it doesn't have to be anything special. I might have been away for a long time but I'm still the same person I've always been, you know. It will be good to see your mother again and to be able to spend some time with you. That's all that matters.'

She wondered if he would still feel the same way when he came face to face with Sam, but there was nothing she could do about that now. She would simply have to deal with that one when the time came, and perhaps it would be just as well to get it over with. He was bound to find out sooner or later.

'Well, if you're sure you don't mind taking pot luck...' she said quietly. 'I'll just go and get my jacket.'

They went out to the car park and Connor led her towards his car, a large silver saloon which gleamed in the sunlight. He held open the door for her, and she slid into the luxurious, enveloping comfort of the passenger seat and tried not to think about what would happen when they reached her home.

'I hadn't expected that you would still be living at the cottage after all this time,' he remarked casually as he started the engine. 'You were always independent, and I thought you had it in mind to get a place of your own. You obviously must have decided against doing that.'

Bethany gave a small shrug. 'There didn't seem much point in moving out after my dad died. It would have meant that Mum would have been living there on her own after years of having us with her, and she wouldn't have been happy, even though she has good neighbours and Mends. We've always got on very well together, and we're company for each other. I didn't want her to have to live alone.'

Connor nodded. 'I can understand that. I was really sorry to hear about your father, you know. I wanted to come back for the funeral, but I was snowed in, and it took two days for them to get out to clear the roads with the snowplough. By the time the roads were passable again, it would have been too late to get to you.'

'I know. It's all right, we knew how difficult it must have been for you, and we got the flowers that you sent, and the letter. My mother was glad to have both of them. She knew that you would have come over if there had been any way you could have managed it.'

'It must have been hard for you and your mother to cope when your father was taken ill.'

'Yes,' she said, with a hint of sadness in her voice. 'It was a bad time. My mother was devastated. The first heart attack was bad, but we thought of it as a warning and we helped him through it as best we could. I was there when it happened, and I managed to keep him going until the ambulance came and the paramedics took over. They got him to hospital, and they helped him on his way to recovery.'

She pulled a face. 'When he came home he was quite frail, but he was on medication and having physiotherapy and he seemed to be making headway so I felt more confident about starting my GP training year. Then, out of the blue, he had a second attack and I knew he was in trouble. I asked for compassionate leave so that I could go home to be with Mum. She was in a terrible state.'

'Hadn't she just taken early retirement from her job with the health service so that she could be with him more?'

Bethany nodded. 'Yes, she had, but Dad collapsed within a couple of months and everything they'd planned for their retirement went out of the window. His illness affected her very badly. Her nerves were shattered.'

'I can imagine it.' Connor gave his attention to a junction ahead of them, then turned the car onto the lane that led towards the coast. 'Was there any problem with you getting leave?'

'None at all, thankfully. Luckily for me, the practice I was with was very understanding. It was a difficult, dreadful time for all, of us, though in the end my father's death didn't really come as such a shock, considering how ill he had been.'

'How's your mother coping now?'

Her mouth moved in a faint grimace. 'All right, I think, though she has found it hard adjusting to life without him. My parents had a good marriage, you know, and at least Mum has a lot of happy memories to keep her going.'

'That's true. They were a remarkable couple, weren't they? I've always liked your mother.' Connor said with a smile. 'She was very good to me in the past—and I think she deserves all the happiness she can get.'

'She's always asking about you, and how your career's working out,' Bethany said softly. 'I'm never quite sure what to tell her. Even now I'm not certain what your plans are... You mentioned being in this job for a couple of months—is this just a flying visit to Devon?'

'It is in a way,' he said, nodding, and even though his answer had been what she'd expected, she felt her stomach clench. 'Of course, my parents are based here, so I shall be back to see them from time to time. I want to make the most of the time I'm here. I really wish I didn't have to go back to work this afternoon,' he said, throwing her a lopsided grin, 'but this is my first full week in the job and I have to get on top of things. Things have been pretty chaotic with the head of department leaving suddenly, and I've been up to my eyes in work.'

A small line furrowed her brow. 'Do you have something else lined up for when this job finishes?'

He gave a slight nod. 'I've been offered a place in Cornwall. I went for an interview and took a look around and I must say that I was pleased with what I saw. I signed the contract within a day or so of the interview, because it was really too good an opportunity to miss.'

Bethany's heart gave a sickening lurch. Hadn't she known that was how it would be? Connor had never been one to let the grass grow under his feet, and she'd suspected all along that he would be on the move again sooner or later. He was like a genie that came out Of nowhere and promised everything your heart could desire and then vanished in a flash.

'So this is another promotion for you?'

He nodded. 'Yes, it's certainly another rung up the ladder.'

She managed a brief smile. 'You've done well for yourself. Martin felt pretty sure that you might come back from America with a wife and family in tow, but I always knew that you were ambitious to get on.' She hesitated slightly, then added, 'A family would slow you down, wouldn't it?'

He frowned slightly. 'Settling down isn't on my agenda at the moment. I'm still too busy trying to get on the next rung of the ladder. It's competitive out there, and you have to be focused if you want to get on. Besides, I don't even have a home of my own right now,' he added on a rueful note. 'That's why I'm staying with my parents at the moment.'

'They must be glad to have you back with them after all this time.'

He grinned. 'Maybe. At least it's a big enough house so that we don't keep getting under each other's feet, and hopefully it won't be for too long.'

'Will you be looking for a place of your own?'

'Yes. I'm already searching for a property to buy in Cornwall, but I haven't had a lot of time with being plunged straight into this job.'

Bethany tried not to let the news disturb her. Instead, she sat back and watched in silence as he turned the car along the coast road, his glance flicking appreciatively over the wide bay. She marvelled at the way the powerful car smoothly ate up the miles. Connor drove with confidence, his hands resting lightly on the wheel as though he was totally relaxed and at ease, but she knew that he was also firmly in control the whole time.

He had always been like that. Calm and confident and apparently laid-back, but you could rely on him to be always ill the driving seat.

A minute or so later, Bethany looked around with a small frisson of surprise and realised that they had arrived at her house already. A wave of apprehension washed over her. What would his reaction be when he saw Sam? Would he guess that he was his son? A small pulse began to thud in her throat. She had no idea how she would deal with that situation.

Connor cut the engine and sat for a moment, glancing up at the cottage, his gaze moving over it in satisfaction.

She pulled in a deep breath to calm herself. She could appreciate his reaction. It was an enchanting house in an idyllic setting. The long sloping roof was neatly thatched, with little dormer windows peeping out from under the eaves, their tiny leaded panes gleaming in the sunlight. The stone walls had been freshly colour-washed and looked clean and bright.

'It's as beautiful as ever,' Connor said with a smile.

Bethany nodded. It was picturesque. A large-flowered clematis scrambled over the porch in a riot of colour, vying with the baskets that hung from the walls on either side and overflowed with petunias and fuchsias. The garden was in full bloom, with flowering shrubs bordering a small patch of green lawn.

Connor turned to her. 'Who looks after the garden now? Do you have someone come in to see to it? I know your father always took care of it before.'

Bethany shook her head. 'It was his pride and joy and it bothered him a lot when he wasn't able to keep on top of it. We did what we could to lend a hand, of course, but we never had his green fingers. Now we just try our best to take care of it the way that he would have done.'

'You've done very well between the two of you. It looks lovely.'

As they got out of the car, the door to the cottage opened and Bethany's mother stepped outside. Her eyes widened when she saw the silver saloon and she came forward to meet them.

'Connor! Is it really you?' She was smiling, her eyes sparkling with pleasure, her pale blonde hair gleaming in the sunlight. 'I heard you were back, and I was hoping that we would see you soon. Will you stay to lunch? It isn't anything grand, but you're welcome to share what we have.'

'I'd like that very much, thank you.' Connor hugged her and Sarah responded happily as though he had been her own son.

'Why don't you go inside?' she suggested, pushing the door open wider so that he could go through. 'Go along to the kitchen and help yourself to a cup of coffee. I've just made a fresh brew.'

He went in ahead of her, and Sarah waited for Bethany, her eyes full of questions. 'You haven't said anything to him about Sam, have you?' she muttered.

Bethany shook her head. 'Not yet. Where is he?'

'He's outside, in the back garden, riding his bike up and down the patio.' She frowned. 'Haven't you left it a bit too late? Surely, Bethany, you're going to have to make up your mind what you're going to tell him? It's going to come as an awful shock.'

'I know, Mum, I know...but it isn't easy,' she said under her breath. 'I need to work out whether it's going to do any good to tell him the truth. So far, all I've found out is that Connor's going to be on the move again before too long. What good is that going to be to Sam? If he's going to have a father come into his life after all this time, he at least needs one who can be around all the while and not disappear after a month or two. I want whatever is best for Sam. I don't want him to end up being totally confused by a father who comes and goes as he pleases.'

Her mother sighed. 'I just hope you know what you're doing.' She turned and went into the house, leaving Bethany to follow her more slowly a moment or two later.

Her mother was right. She ought to have worked out by now what she was going to say to Connor.

When she walked into the kitchen she saw that Connor had found a mug on the Welsh dresser and was pouring himself a coffee, and her mother was laughing at something he'd said.

'Have I missed a joke?' Bethany looked from one to the other with a faint lift of her brows.

'I was reminding Connor about how you two first met,' Sarah said, going over to the cooker and taking plates from the grill where they had been warming. She began to set them out on the table.

'He said he doubted whether you had changed much since then. Do you remember? You couldn't have been much more than eight years old and you had gone down to the shop on the green with your pocket money. Some boys had tried to take it off you.'

Bethany nodded. .'I remember, all right,' she said with a grimace. 'I was getting ready to batter them. I was mad as hell that they could even think of trying to take it from me.'

'And you were madder still when I came along and tried to defend you,' Connor put in. 'They were much bigger than you, but you were quite prepared to take them on. I just couldn't stand by and watch the massacre of the innocents, but I didn't get any thanks for my interference,' he added with a grin. 'I thought you were going to lay into me as well.'

Bethany attempted a smile. Any moment now, Sam was going to make an appearance, and the butterflies were starting up in her stomach already. 'I was grateful to you when I had time to think about it afterwards. It was just that you took over and I didn't get the chance to vent my anger on them, and it was boiling up inside me.'

Her glance went to the kitchen door as she heard a scuffling sound. A second or two later, the door burst open and Sam came in with a clatter.

'I been riding my bike...' he announced to all and sundry, his eyes wide with excitement. His cheeks were flushed after his exertions, and Bethany looked at him fondly, her heart making an odd little leap in her chest.

He came running towards her, and flung his arms around her legs. 'Mummy!' he exclaimed, and Bethany was all too conscious of Connor's sudden sharp intake of breath. 'We went to beach...and I played in sand.' He giggled, remembering, and then his eyes grew large as he thought of something even more important. 'The sea maked me all wet!'

Bethany put her arms around him. 'Did it? Did you have a lovely morning, sweetheart?' She lifted him up and hugged him tight to her chest while all the time Connor was staring at Sam as though he couldn't believe what his eyes were telling him.

Sam nodded. 'Yes... Nanna had to change all my clothes.' He waved his arms in a wide arc to show her the enormity of that.

'Oh, my goodness...' she said huskily, burying her face in his soft cheek. 'What a lot of work for Nanna.'

Her mother brushed at a fleck on her skirt. 'That reminds me,' she muttered, 'I must go and change out of this—I spilled something on it earlier. Excuse me for a minute, won't you?' She sent Bethany a quick glance. 'Will you take over lunch for me? I shan't be long.'

She didn't wait for a reply but hurried out of the room, and Bethany guessed she was making herself scarce on purpose. She didn't know whether to be relieved or apprehensive.

She brushed past Connor and took Sam over to the sink, sitting him down on a stool. 'Shall we wash your hands for lunch?'

Connor was looking as though someone had just hit him full force in the stomach. He said in a strained voice, 'You didn't tell me that you have a child.'

Bethany sent him a fractured glance. 'No,' she managed thinly. 'I meant to tell you, but you were out of the country, moving about from one place to another and involved in getting on with your own life.'

Sam glanced up at Connor, then shyly looked away. Eager to have his hands in water, he seemed to have forgotten about him a moment later, absorbed in making bubbles with the soap.

Connor shook his head as though to clear it. 'You could have said something, surely?' he muttered. 'You didn't even say anything back at the surgery, or on the way here.'

'It didn't come up...and anyway I didn't see the point. You were going to find out soon enough.'

'For heaven's sake, Beth,' he said with a rasp, 'we're talking about a child, not some scrap of news that you can read quickly and forget about.'

His jaw clenched, and he threw her a glance that might have been dipped in hot steel before turning his attention back to Sam. He studied the boy intently, taking in the shining fair hair and blue-grey eyes, the determined jut of his small chin as he concentrated on moving the soap bubbles about.

Was he wondering who it was that he took after? He looked a lot like her—Sam had her own gold-tinted hair, but to her mind his strongly angled jaw was unmistakably Connor's.

Sam must have picked up on some of the tension that had arisen between them, because he looked up from the sink and returned Connor's gaze curiously. 'All done,' Sam said, lifting his hands out of the water and spreading his fingers so that the water trickled off them.

Bethany fetched a towel and quickly dried his hands, then lifted him down and took him over to the table. 'Sit down and eat your pizza,' she murmured, putting a plate of food down on the table in front of him and acting as though everything was perfectly normal, while all the time her world was doing somersaults. 'You like that, don't you?'

Sam nodded, looking again surreptitiously at Connor.

'You should eat, too, Connor,' Bethany muttered. 'Mum will be upset if you don't have something. Help yourself to salad...and there's fresh-baked bread to go with it.'

Connor ignored the food. His gaze was still fixed steadily on Sam, and after a while he said under his breath, 'A child is hardly something that you would keep to yourself, unless you had good reason.'

'I've hardly done that,' she muttered tautly. 'I don't know why you're making so much of it. You must have known that it was on the cards that I would have a child sooner or later.' She busied herself, slicing crusty rolls in half and spreading them with butter.

'No. I hadn't expected this. Not at all.' His eyes narrowed as suspicion dawned. 'You didn't want me to come here today, did you? You tried to put me off because you knew that I would see him.'

She let out a soft sigh. 'Maybe I did. Maybe I guessed you would react like this, and take it badly.' She saw the anger blazing in his eyes—anger born of shock, most likely—and winced. 'I don't see why you're getting so hot under the collar about it. A lot of things have happened in the last few years while you've been away.'

'So I can see.' His glance homed in on her, laser bright. 'Who is the father?'

She sucked in a taut breath. 'I'd rather not say right now.'

'Why not?' His brows drew together in a dark, harsh line.

Resentment bubbled up inside her. He had gone away without a backward glance, and now he expected everything to be laid at his door, neatly packaged.

'Why should I lay my life bare for you? This is totally my concern. You were away for over three years and you weren't there for any of it. My father died, I qualified as a GP, I started a new job. What was I supposed to do—keep a diary, catalogue everything for you?'

As soon as the words were out, she regretted them. Was she being too hard on him? They had shared so much before, their friendship had been beyond question, yet now she felt spiky, confused, her whole body bristling in self-defence. He had come back, and everything that was precious in her life could be overturned with just one simple admission. She couldn't do it. Not yet. Not until she knew that he could give her the commitment she needed for herself and her son.

Sam was giving his attention to the pizza, taking a bite out of the middle and giving himself a tomato moustache. From time to time he glanced up through his eyelashes at the stranger.

Connor's eyes narrowed, homing in on Bethany's hands. 'There's no ring on your finger.'

Bethany shrugged lightly. 'I'm bringing him up on my own. It was my decision to do that. He's a happy child and well looked after, so I don't see that there's any problem.'

'Doesn't he ask about his father?'

'No.' The word came out as a cracked whisper. She shook her head. Hadn't she debated this point with herself over and over again? She was denying her child a father, and that made her feel wretched.

Making an effort, to compose herself, she glanced quickly at Sam. Was he taking any of this in?

It was doubtful that he knew what they were talking about. He was too engrossed in his pizza, taking an overlarge bite and helping it into his mouth with the heel of his hand.

'He's probably too young for that just yet,' she said. 'Perhaps when he's old enough for playschool and he gets to meet lots of other children he'll want to know more...but up to now he hasn't been curious.'

She didn't need Connor to remind her that Sam would one day start asking questions. She was constantly wondering how she would explain things to him and hoping that she would be able to find the right words when the time came.

Sam licked away the tomato moustache with the tip of his tongue, and then began to pick all the red peppers out of his pizza and put them on the side of his plate. 'Don't want it,' he decided, and started to wriggle off his chair.

'If you've finished with that, you can go and play,' Bethany said, her throat constricting as she went to help him down from his seat. She was glad of the diversion. The tension that had arisen in the room was making her more than nervous. She could feel it vibrating through the atmosphere, like a tangible thing.

Sam wound his arms around her neck and held onto her. 'I make picture, Mummy?' he asked, and she nodded.

'All right,' she murmured huskily, kissing his soft cheek and lowering him to the floor. 'Go and see if you can find Nanna and she'll give you some paper and crayons.'

He scooted off, and she pulled in a deep breath, trying to quieten her jangled nerves.

Connor wasn't about to give her any space at all, though. As soon as Sam had left the room he turned on her, his blue eyes glittering dangerously.

'Is he mine?'

'He's my child,' she said firmly. 'That's all that matters.'

'Tell me,' he growled. 'I want to know.'

'Do you? What gives you the right to breeze in here and start making demands after all this time? Besides, it's not as though he even looks like you.' Guilt washed over her as she saw him flinch.

'That doesn't necessarily mean that he isn't mine,' he muttered. 'You have to tell me. I have the right to know.'

'You have no rights at all where he's concerned,' Bethany said with a bite. 'You weren't around when he was born, and you weren't here while he's been growing up.'

'I want to know the truth.' There was a hard edge to his voice. 'You and I had a relationship, we were lovers—'

'Once,' she said tautly. 'We made love once, and it was a mistake, it should never have happened. You said so yourself.' She watched the sudden ebb of colour from his face and tacked on, 'Besides, a lot of water's gone under the bridge since then. You went away, you had other things to occupy you, and I got on with my own life. If I wanted someone to be a father to my child, believe me, I wouldn't have to look very far. I don't need you to come barging in here after all this time challenging me to explain myself.'

His brows shot up. 'Just how many men have you been involved with?' he said, sounding incredulous.

'That's none of your business,' she snapped. 'You don't have a monopoly on me.'

'Who else is in your life right now?' His eyes were diamond sharp, homing in on her like lasers. 'Martin?' He bit out the name.

She hesitated before answering him. 'Martin has always been dear to me. He's been more than just a friend over the years and we've grown very close. He was there whenever I needed him.'

He looked shocked, as though she had hit him. A darkness came into his eyes and she knew that he was thinking about Martin's fair hair and debating the possibilities with himself.

'I knew there was always something between you and him, but not this, I can't believe this—are you telling me that Sam is Martin's child?'

'Why is that such a shocking thought?' she said cautiously. 'He's a good man, one of the best.'

He seemed to reel at her answer, but came back sharply enough. 'Yet you haven't married him.'

'I chose to keep my independence,' she retorted. 'A lot has happened this last few years. My father died, and my mother needs my support. I've a career and a child to look after. I've made mistakes, and I need to be sure of myself before I take on anything else.'

His mouth tightened. 'Are you saying that Martin is the father but you prefer being a single mother?'

'I'm saying that you should back off,' she said tightly. 'You can't come here after all this time and throw your weight around and start demanding answers. It doesn't matter who his father is. He's mine, and that's all I care about.'

She glared at him from across the table and he looked back at her with fury raging in his eyes.

Sarah came back into the room and glanced from one to the other. 'Good grief,' she said in dismay. 'I've only been gone a few minutes and here you are at loggerheads...' She looked down at the table and shook her head. 'And neither one of you has eaten anything. Can't you at least get a cup of coffee and go outside and talk things through quietly out of Sam's way?'

'I think we've said all that there is to be said,' Bethany muttered.

'Oh, no, we haven't,' Connor threw back, his expression like a thundercloud. 'Not by a long way.'

CHAPTER THREE

'Sam will be back in here in a minute,' Sarah said with a frown. 'I really don't think it's a good idea to let him see you arguing. Why don't you both go outside, into the garden, and talk there?'

'There's no point,' Bethany persisted. 'I'm not going to say any more until Connor has calmed down. Anyway, I should be getting back to work soon.

'But neither of you has eaten anything yet,' Sarah pointed out again. 'I wish you would at least have a taste of something. You shouldn't try to work on an empty stomach.'

She turned to Connor and pushed a dish of potato salad towards him. 'Sit down and help yourself,' she urged. 'And tell me about your new job—is it something to do with environmental health?'

Connor seemed to give himself a mental shake. 'Public health, actually, Sarah,' he told her, accepting the change of direction with reasonable grace.

He sat down at the table and, conscious that Sarah was looking at him expectantly, added, 'We're responsible for improving the health of the local population, so we look into things like the control of communicable diseases and work with various groups to decide what services are needed.'

'Is that why you spoke to Martin the other day— because you have to work with the local surgeries?'

'In part, yes. There were some health issues we needed to sort out.'

Bethany shot him a glance. 'You still haven't told me why you had to come to the surgery this morning,' she said, trying to keep a level tone. Her mother was keeping a guarded eye on both of them, and she made an effort to keep things calm.

She spooned grated cheese on to her plate and added a heap of mixed salad. 'The letter Martin received said that there was a problem you needed to talk over with us. Is there a health hazard that we should know about?'

Connor didn't answer straight away. He picked up his fork and dipped it into the food in front of him. He was distant, withdrawn from her, and she guessed that the shock of finding out that she had a child was still riding uppermost in his mind. Even so, after a moment's hesitation he pulled himself together and seemed to prepare himself to make a fresh start.

'We're concerned about a small outbreak of tuberculosis that started recently in the Midlands.' A frown started up around his eyes, causing tiny lines to form in the corners. 'I expect you've heard about it?'

'Yes, I have.' She looked at him worriedly. 'It was in the news, and we had a circular sent to us about it at the surgery.'

Satisfied that they were no longer at each other's throats, Sarah left them to go and busy herself emptying the dishwasher, then disappeared briefly to check on Sam.

Bethany followed her mother's movements, then turned back warily to Connor. 'Do you think there's any likelihood that we might have an outbreak down here?' she asked. Her shoulders were stiff as she braced herself against any further questioning. She wanted desperately to keep things neutral between them, at least while her mother was close by.

His gaze narrowed on her, but he, too, must have thought better of reverting to personal issues because he answered carefully, 'I hope not, but it's a possibility. It's my job to trace someone who may have come down here from the Midlands recently. We're not sure whether he came here for a short break, or whether he may be planning to move down south permanently. There's a chance that he might have been infected before he left home, so you can see why we're concerned.'

'I can.' Bethany winced. 'I don't think I like the sound of that at all.'

Connor laid his fork down on his plate and said tautly, 'You could be right to be worried. From the small amount of information we have, we believe he could have rented a place here in Devon while he's looking for a house to buy. It's one of the problems of working in public health. We sometimes lose track of people when they start to move about the country without leaving a forwarding address, and then if they are infectious they could present a danger for anyone who has any close contact with them.'

'So what do you want us to do? Apart from checking our records to see if he visited the surgery, of course.'

'That's the main thing, and also look out for anyone who presents with symptoms of TB.' He appeared to be cool and collected, but the flicker in his eyes as his gaze travelled over her belied his manner. 'I'll leave some leaflets and posters with you so that you can make patients aware of what's going on. I'm going to notify the local press as well, so hopefully we might have more people on the lookout for potential problems.'

His glance made her nervous, but she did her best to keep things businesslike. 'Are you going to instigate a screening programme?'

He shook his head. 'Not at this stage but we will, of course, if we find more people presenting with symptoms.'

'I'll take a look at our records when I get back to the surgery,' Bethany said. 'I don't think anyone has presented with a persistent cough and chest pains and sweating, but I'll check with Martin and Jeff to see if they have come across anything unusual in the last week or so. 1 suppose it's possible that we might have misdiagnosed bronchitis, but it's unlikely.'

Sam came into the room and waved a paper under her nose. 'I made picture,' he told her, and she looked down at the colourful swirls and squiggles admiringly.

'That's wonderful,' she said with a shaky smile. 'You're a clever boy to do that.'

'It's you and Nanna.'

'I thought it might be.' She stood up. 'I have to go back to work in a few minutes, so I'd better clear the table, hadn't I?'

'Leave that,' her mother said. 'I'll see to it. You and Connor should go and get some fresh air while you can. Take your coffee out on to the patio for a minute or two.'

'Me come.' Sam curled his hand into Bethany's.

'All right.' Conscious of Connor's blue eyes fixed on them, she led Sam out into the garden, where he broke free and sped across the terrace towards the picket fencing that separated the patio from the rest of the garden.

'Open gate, Mummy.'

All too aware that Connor had followed them, Bethany opened the gate and stepped onto the lawn, watching as Sam ran towards the rockery, whooping exuberantly. She glanced over to where a bench seat rested in the shade by the shallow pond and said quietly, 'Shall we go and sit down over there? It will be cooler.'

He nodded, tension showing in the hard line of his jaw as he walked with her across the grass. He put his cup of coffee down on a low stone wall at the side of the bench and watched Sam practise climbing up and down the steps that led to the terrace above.

Bethany sat down and gazed at the waterlilies that floated on the surface of the pond. The delicate fragrance of tea roses drifted across to her from a stonewalled terrace, and she slowly breathed it in and tried to remain calm.

'I see you've put a safety rail around the pond,' he commented shortly, coming to sit down beside her. 'Does that keep Sam away from it?'

'It doesn't keep him away, he's far too curious for that, but at least it stops him from falling in. We thought about filling in the pond, but it's not very deep and with the rail we can at least keep a check on him.'

'You should put a mesh guard over the water.'

His brisk tone caused her to look up at him. 'We had one,' she said coolly, 'but the frame weathered and split and I've had to order another one. Anyway, the fence and gate at the edge of the patio keep him away from this part of the garden when we're not out here with him.' Did he think his suspicions about Sam's parentage gave him the right to interfere? 'I do know how to look after my son.'

Sam squatted down by a flower border to watch a bee settle on a plump dahlia. He reached out with a finger to touch it, then drew it back quickly as the bee took flight.

'It can't have been easy for you, bringing Sam up on your own.'

'I haven't been alone.'

He shot her a hard stare. 'You haven't?'

'My mother's always been there to help me out. She loves Sam dearly and she loves looking after him. I honestly don't know how I would have managed without her. It would have been difficult for me to go out to work if she hadn't offered to have Sam for me.'

'Didn't you realise that you were risking everything by letting yourself get pregnant? You had a career, you were set on being a GP, and yet all of that could have been lost.' He studied her, a frown forming around his eyes. 'You were on the Pill, weren't you? What happened? Did you suddenly decide to come off it?'

'I had problems with the Pill...it didn't suit me.'

'Didn't that make you think twice about what might happen?'

She looked at him steadily. 'I could have spent my life working, and the time might never have arisen for me to have a child. I've come to realise that I need fulfilment as a mother, too.'

'Are you saying that you made a deliberate decision to have a child?' He sounded horrified by the thought.

'I'm not saying that at all. But being a family doctor allows me a certain amount of freedom. My work schedule is much more compatible with family life than if I had worked in a hospital.'

His frown deepened. 'Didn't you give any thought to the fact that your child needs a father?'

'He's managed well enough up to now without one,' she retorted. 'At least he has me as the one constant in his life, the one person, apart from his Nanna, that he can rely on. I didn't see that it was absolutely necessary for his father to be around.'

'All children should have a father,' he said with an edge to his voice. 'A boy needs a man about the place, a role model.'

'Isn't that a rather chauvinistic remark?'

A muscle flicked almost imperceptibly along his jaw. 'I didn't mean it to sound that way. Of course the ideal would be for a child to have both parents caring for him or her, but a girl at least has a mother to guide her. Boys can be difficult to handle at the best of times, and a man's influence can make all the difference as they're growing up.'

'I don't think he's missing out on anything. He sees his Uncle David regularly enough, and Martin is always around to act as a father figure. He's always been there if ever I needed him.'

Connor scowled. 'Has he? How very convenient. Somehow I never saw Martin in the role of stud before. Now I see that all things are possible.'

She frowned at his sarcasm. 'I'm sure he would make an excellent father.'

'But you don't want him to play his part in bringing up your son?'

'I'm still trying to make up my mind about what I want.'

'Has he asked you to marry him?'

She took a deep breath. 'Yes, he has,' she said shakily. It was true, Martin had offered to marry her, wanting to help her through the months after Sam's birth, but it wouldn't have been right for her to accept without love.

'And you turned him down... You'll live apart, even though Sam is his son?'

'I've already told you my reasons. There have been too many changes in my life just lately arid I need a period of calm to sort myself out. Things might be different soon. I'll make up my mind one way or the other.'

She glanced down at the watch on her wrist. 'Look, I don't have any more time for this,' she said. 'I should be getting back to work. It's getting late, and I have afternoon surgery at two o'clock.'

He got to his feet in one fluid movement. 'I should be getting back to the office myself. Things have been in a state of upheaval since my predecessor was taken ill, and I've a stack of work to get through to reorganise things.'

His tone was stiff and she glanced at him warily. 'I'll just go and say goodbye to Sam and my mother.'

'Of course.' His blue eyes held the cold glitter of an arctic sea, and she almost shivered.

A gaping chasm had opened up between them, an icy cavern that threatened to swallow her up at the slightest wrong move. It made her heart feel heavy, like an insufferable weight in her chest.

The drive back to the surgery didn't take much more than ten minutes and it was virtually a silent one. He left without looking back.

She felt empty inside as she watched him drive away. Everything had gone wrong. That wasn't at all how she had dreamed of her first meeting with Connor after all this time, and she went into the building feeling a deep chill of despondency.

The waiting room was empty, and Martin was in Reception looking through his appointments for the afternoon, but when he saw her expression he came over to her.

'What's wrong? Anna told me that you'd gone off with Connor. What happened? Did you tell him the truth about Sam?'

Bethany shook her head and said in a small voice, 'No, I couldn't bring myself to tell him.'

'Why not? Don't you think it would be for the best if he knew that Sam is his child?'

'I don't think so. Not yet, anyway. I couldn't have told him just now. He was too shocked, too taken aback when he found out that I have a son. His whole attitude was abrasive.' She pressed her lips together in an agony of uncertainty, 'Anyway, how could it be for the best to tell him? He's going away again. He's only going to be here for a little while. And he doesn't want a family to slow him down—he more or less told me so. A family would get in his way, stop him from doing what he wants to do.'

Martin pulled a face. 'That isn't your problem, is it? Don't you think that he should be made to face up to his responsibilities?'

Bethany shook her head. 'It isn't as cut and dried as that. I'm sure he would do whatever he thought was right, but I don't want him to think of Sam as a responsibility. Sam deserves a whole lot more than that. He needs to be loved and cherished, and I want the very best for him, not some half-measure.'

'So what have you told Connor?'

'Nothing specific yet.' She looked at him, biting her Up. 'Actually, Martin...there's a slight possibility that he might have come away with the idea that Sam is your child.'

'Mine?' Martin's eyes grew large. He stared at her in disbelief. 'I don't think I want to ask how he came to that conclusion. I might not like the answer. Are you quite sure that you know what you're doing?'

'I didn't tell him that,' she hurried to explain. 'I didn't actually lie to him, Martin...he came up with it by himself because I made a mess of things. Then I thought he was just being sarcastic, and I...' Her voice dropped. 'I didn't put him right. I know it was wrong of me, but I was angry with him at the time, and too flustered by having him turn up here out of the blue to think clearly for a while. It was a stupid thing to do, I know that. I'll tell him the truth, of course I will, but I just need to think things through for a day or so, to get my head straightened out.'

He looked at her curiously, concern written in his eyes. 'Is that really what you want him to think, that Sam is someone else's child—my child?'

She didn't answer, and he said softly, 'You know I'll do whatever I can to help you, Bethany. You only have to say, and I'd do anything for you. I won't tell him the truth unless you want me to.'

He reached out and took her hand in his. 'In fact, I would ask you again to marry me if I thought that was what you wanted. I know you don't feel the same about me, but I would always stand by you. I would always be there for you.'

A sudden haze of tears filled her eyes. 'Oh, Martin, you're such a lovely man.' She dashed the moisture away with the back of her hand. 'I thought you would be angry with me, and here you are saying such kind things to me. I don't deserve to have such a good friend as you.'

She squeezed his hand and hoped that he would understand how she felt. 'I don't know what I want right now. I'm feeling very confused at the moment.'

'And you love Connor.' He gave a rueful smile. 'I suppose I've always known that. I've seen the way you look at him.' Seeing her stricken expression, he said gently, 'It's all right, I won't say anything to him if you don't want me to. Just remember that if there's anything you need, you can count on me.'

'Thank you, Martin. You're a dear, dear man.'

She was almost thankful that she had to take afternoon surgery just a few minutes later. It helped her to keep her mind focused on problems other than her own.

Jack Hetherington was her last patient of the day, a man in his late twenties.

'Hello, Jack,' she greeted him. 'Come and sit down and tell me how things are with you.'

'I think I'm having a flare-up again,' he said miserably. 'I try to watch what I eat so that different foods don't upset me, but sometimes it doesn't work, whatever I do.'

He suffered from Crohn's disease, a chronic illness that caused inflammation of the gastrointestinal tract. Observing him now, she noted how the illness had left him looking thin and had hollowed out his cheekbones.

'What kind of problems are you having?'

'Spasms of pain after I eat, and diarrhoea. I've been feeling tired as well, but that's nothing really unusual.'

'We'd better do a blood test to check up on that. You might be anaemic. I'll give you a form, and you can hand it in at Reception today. The nurse will do the test for you this afternoon.'

She examined him briefly, and said afterwards, 'You're a bit feverish, Jack, and there's some obvious tenderness, so it looks as though you're right, and it is a flare-up of the condition. I think you need to take a course of corticosteroid drugs to calm things down.'

He nodded. 'Thanks, Doctor. It'll be good to get some relief from the pain. I don't want to end up with another abscess.'

She nodded. Some years ago, Jack had needed hospital treatment for a nasty complication, and it had made him wary ever since. Any period of inflammation might result in further damage.

'Are you seeing the consultant at the hospital on a regular basis?' she asked.

'Yes. Twice a year usually.'

'Good. When is your next appointment, do you know?'

'Not for some time. Last time I went, he said to keep on with the sulphasalazine.'

'Yes, I think that's wise advice. If you're not feeling any better in a week or so, Jack, come back to me and I'll arrange for you to see the consultant earlier.'

'I will.'

He left the room a moment or so later, and Bethany reflected that it was a pity there was no identifiable cause for the disease as yet. Research was being carried out all the time, but although various ideas had been put forward, such as the measles, mumps and rubella combined vaccine, there was no conclusive information up to now.

Over the next few days Bethany tried to concentrate on the work in hand. She hadn't seen Connor again since he'd learned about Sam, and she wondered whether he was staying away deliberately. What must he be thinking? Did he really believe that Martin was Sam' s father, or did he harbour some doubts?

She sighed. It hurt that things had turned out so badly between them. Either way, there was no point in dwelling on the way things had turned out. Life had to go on.

Perhaps the best way out of the situation would be to let him go on thinking that Sam was Martin's child. Martin had said that he had no objection, and at least Connor could go on to fulfil his ambitions without a family to hold him back.

The poster that he had left with her was pinned up on the wall in the waiting room, and the leaflets were put out on tables alongside other information boards, so that patients would be encouraged to take them whenever they came to the surgery.

'There's always the worry that we might be accused of scaremongering,' Jeff said. 'I don't want to cause any panic, especially among parents of school-age children.'

'I don't think we'll do that,' Martin commented. 'All we're doing is giving out information about the symptoms of tuberculosis. We're not saying that it's rife in the community. People will have heard of the outbreak in the Midlands, and if there's anyone around here who has come from that area we can at least hope that we'll hear from them or from someone who knows anyone who might have symptoms.'

'Let's hope you're right.'

Occasionally someone would ask Bethany or the other doctors whether they needed to be concerned about a TB outbreak in the area, and they were able to reassure them. Word would soon get around, and Bethany hoped it would bring results.

None of them had come across anyone with symptoms that gave them cause to believe that the disease might be about to erupt in the town.

Today, about a week after Connor's visit, Bethany came back to the surgery towards the end of the lunch-time break for a meeting that had been scheduled earlier that week. She had been out on call, doing the rounds on the edge of town and in the surrounding villages, and she was running a little late.

They usually closed for an hour at lunchtime, and the place appeared deserted when she came in through the main doors. A short time later, though, Martin came out of his room to say hello as she was hanging up her jacket in the cloakroom outside the coffee-lounge.

'I thought I heard you come in. Did the visits go all right?' he asked, and she nodded.

'Nothing too complicated today, except that Mrs Castlemaine has been having some bad angina attacks. I've referred her to the hospital for tests.'

'Sounds sensible. I've been telling her for ages that she needs to see a consultant, but she wouldn't have any of it.' He put an arm around her in an affectionate gesture. 'You obviously have the magic touch.'

She gave him a smile. 'Stubbornness, more likely. I don't like to accept defeat when I know there's a solution to hand. I've seen Mrs Castlemaine on a number of occasions lately, and I've been trying to gradually bring her round to my way of thinking.'

'That's my girl.' He gave her a squeeze and asked gently, 'How are things at home? Is Sam OK?'

'He's fine.'

The door to Martin's room opened just then, and she was startled to see Connor walk into the corridor. He looked every bit as powerful and confident as he had ever been, an expensively tailored suit sitting well on his tall frame. It was made from a fine, dark grey material, cut to emphasise his broad shoulders and long legs. His hair had been cut recently and was styled perfectly to frame his square-jawed face. Her throat went dry, just looking at him.

His gaze moved slowly over her, taking in the way she and Martin stood together, the warm intimacy of their embrace. Something unreadable flickered in his blue eyes.

Straightening her shoulders, she turned to face him properly and Martin let his arm fall to his side.

'Connor...I wasn't expecting to see you here today,' she said.

'Weren't you? I thought we were going to sit down together and sift through some of the background issues concerning your patients who have asthma.'

She blinked. 'Is this so that we can look into any preventative measures we might have overlooked?'

'Exactly.'

'Oh, I see.'

'It's all my fault,' Martin hurried to explain. 'I postponed the practice meeting so that we could fit in Connor's session. Sorry, I forgot to make a note of the change in the appointments book.'

Still taken aback by Connor's unexpected arrival, she made a belated attempt to pull her thoughts into some kind of order. 'That's all right,' she murmured. 'I thought for a minute that I'd muddled things up in my head.'

Connor interrupted crisply, 'I realise that you both have a hectic schedule, but do you think we could get the meeting started? I've several more visits to make this afternoon and I would appreciate it if we could get on.'

Martin's glance was apologetic. 'Of course. Shall we go into my room?' He laid a hand lightly around Bethany's waist and ushered her gently towards his room. She felt the touch of his hand on her hip and wondered briefly what was making him so attentive today.

Connor's cool glance followed them and she felt distinctly unnerved by it.

'I wanted to check with you first of all on the percentage of patients on your list who are suffering from asthma,' he began briskly once they were all seated. 'The department is trying to gauge whether the level is changing from what it was a few years ago. We suspect that it might be rising and, if so, we would like to do something to remedy that, for instance by persuading the local authority to designate more traffic-free areas.'

They spent half an hour going through their records with Connor. He kept things cool and businesslike, and Bethany found herself wishing that things could be like they were in the old days, before all this upset had blown up between them. In the years before Connor had gone away, there had been a gentle camaraderie between three of them, and they had been able to laugh together, to relax in each other's company. Not now, though. That had all vanished in the chill of Connor's discovery that she had a son.

'I think that's probably about it for now,' he said eventually. 'I've more than enough details to be going on with. I'll let you know the outcome in a week or so. We'll probably put out a poster campaign and issue notices for the press and so on to make the public aware of the issues.'

Martin checked his watch. 'It's almost time for afternoon surgery, but there's still coffee in the pot if you would like another cup before you go.'

'No, thanks. I should be on my way.' He got to his feet.

Bethany wasn't prepared for the quick wave of disappointment that flowed through her, but she steeled herself not to let it show. Of course he wouldn't stay. He hadn't called her in the last week, so why had she imagined he might want to spend time with her, to talk to her?

'I expect we'll see you again before too long, anyway,' she murmured, trying to keep an even tone.

'I imagine so.' He reached into his jacket pocket and drew out three envelopes. 'My parents asked me to give you these.' He handed one to her, and one to Martin. 'There's one for Jeff, too.' Martin took charge of it.

Bethany looked at her envelope curiously. 'What is it?'

'An invitation to a charity bash for the neonatal unit. My mother's really anxious for you to come along. She hasn't seen much of either of you in a long time, especially since they moved house, and she wants to make it a dual occasion—an event that will bring in funds for her favourite cause, as well as a welcome-home party for me.'

The fact that it was a charity event would make it difficult for her to refuse gracefully, Bethany realised. A good many of the staff from the hospital where his mother worked would be going to the party, and it would be churlish of her to try to avoid it.

'It sounds like fun,' Martin said. 'Thanks for the invitation.'

'You're welcome.'

Connor started to head for the door, and Martin excused himself from seeing him out, saying that he had things to attend to before surgery began.

Bethany sent him a swift glance. Was he leaving her alone with Connor, giving them some space? It was the sort of thing he would do. She walked with Connor back to Reception.

'Do you think you'll be able to come to the party?' he asked briskly. 'I know you have some reservations about my father—he can be a bit overbearing at times—but I'm sure he'll be too busy with all the other guests to pay you any undue attention.'

She gave a wry smile. 'Maybe, but I wouldn't bank on that. Anyway,' she added on a cautious note, 'I'll need to check with my mother about the babysitting situation. It depends whether she has anything planned for that night.'

Perhaps she shouldn't have reminded him about Sam. A harsh glint came into his eyes momentarily, but then he said in a bracing tone, 'That's the difficulty with having children, isn't it? You suddenly find that you're not so footloose and fancy-free any more.'

He grimaced. 'Let me know if you can make it, anyway, and if all's well I'll come and pick you up on Friday evening.'

'I will.'

He sent her an oblique glance. 'It must have been a bonus for you to find yourself working alongside Martin. I expect the two of you make a good team.' He paused, then added, 'It isn't often that you get to be with people you know you're compatible with from the outset. You and he were close from the moment you first met, weren't you?'

'I suppose we were, but, then, all three of us are friends from way back, aren't we? We practically grew up together. That's part of what you get from living in a small community, isn't it?'

'Maybe. I know that he had a soft spot for you right from the beginning.'

Bethany smiled. 'He's a good, kind man. He hasn't changed very much over the years.'

'No, he hasn't,' he said dryly. 'As I recall, he's always had the hots for you.'

He left her with that, not even stopping to wave goodbye, and Bethany tried to get on with her day as best she could. Difficult, because now her concentration was shot to pieces.

CHAPTER FOUR

Her mother said she was happy to babysit, and refused to listen to any reasons why Bethany shouldn't go to the Broughtons' party. So when Friday arrived, she had to frantically hunt through her wardrobe for something suitable to wear.

Her reflection mocked her as she gazed in the mirror and held a smooth-fitting cocktail dress in front of her. Who was she kidding? These days Connor barely glanced her way. Would he even notice what she was wearing?

In the end, she settled for a long, floaty dress in a pale blue material that fell in soft layers over her hips and made her feel ultra-feminine. It skimmed her shoulders, leaving them almost bare, and clung gently to her curves and swirled about her legs as she walked.

The doorbell rang as she put the finishing touches to her lipstick, and she hurried barefoot to answer it, grabbing her shoes on the way.

'Have I arrived too soon?' Connor drawled, studying her with guarded interest as she hopped precariously on one foot, trying to slide her toes into one strappy shoe, and then struggled to regain her balance. He reached out a hand to steady her.

'No,' she murmured, straightening, 'not at all. I've just this minute finished getting ready.' The touch of his hand was doing strange things to her nervous system, and she stared up at him, absorbed by his strongly etched features, taking in every nuance of his expression.

'Amazing—you always used to take for ever.' His mouth moved in a familiar way that held Bethany mesmerised. He had an attractive mouth, firm and well shaped, and when she thought about how he had kissed her not so long ago a flush of colour ran along her cheekbones.

How was she going to get through this evening? He was bound to want to talk to her about Sam, about what had happened between them, and what could she say? I want you to stay and be my love and be a father to him? It wasn't going to happen, was it?

She stared at him unhappily. Was she doing the right thing in not telling him the truth? Did he have a right to know about his son? But he was still ambitious, and work had always come first with Connor, hadn't it? Where would Sam fit into his busy schedule?

She looked him over once more. He was dressed in an immaculately tailored suit, the jacket lying perfectly on his broad shoulders, the trousers emphasising the length of his powerful legs. He looked wonderful, she thought, a quiver of unbidden excitement. running through her.

'What's the matter? Have I suddenly grown horns and a tail?' he queried in a darkly mocking tone, his eyebrows lifting.

'Oh...' Jolted out of her reverie, she blinked and groped for the doorhandle once more. 'Sorry,' she muttered under her breath. 'I was miles away.' Pulling the door wide open, she beckoned him in and looked around, expecting to see Martin and Jeff.

Connor was alone, though, and she looked at him questioningly. 'Aren't the others with you? I thought you were going to pick them up, too.'

'Jeff and his wife are going out to dinner this evening. Apparently it's his parents' golden wedding anniversary today.'

'Oh... I see... I'd forgotten about that. Jeff mentioned something about it a week or so ago. I didn't realise the celebration was this evening.' She frowned. 'What about Martin?'

'He wasn't feeling too well—he's been vomiting and he said he had the beginnings of a migraine headache and needed to go and lie down before it got much worse. He said he had tried to ring you earlier, but there was no answer.'

She nodded abstractedly. 'I was probably in the shower. I wouldn't have heard the phone in there.' Her brow furrowed. 'Do you think he'll be all right? He doesn't get these headaches very often, but when he does they can be pretty bad. They affect his vision and sometimes his balance, too.'

'I'm sure he'll be fine,' he said coolly. 'He said he had taken a migraine tablet and was going to bed, and he doesn't want you to let it spoil your evening.'

Her green eyes, were troubled. 'Even so, perhaps I'll phone him later to see if he's feeling any better. Sometimes if he doesn't take the tablet soon enough his digestive system shuts down and the medication doesn't work very well.'

'I offered to give him an injection to stop the sickness, but he said he would be OK. He has a follow-up dose of the tablet to take in a couple of hours if he needs it, and I arranged for his neighbour to look in on him and make sure that he's all right.'

'That's a relief. I'm glad you did that, otherwise I would have been worrying all the time.'

'Try not to. He wants you to go out and have a good time.'

'That sounds like Martin.' She gave a brief smile and tried to gather her thoughts.

Frowning, Connor followed her through to the kitchen a moment later, where she gathered up her bag from the table and then hunted around for her wrap.

'Do I look all right?' she asked, having sudden misgivings. 'Your folks have such formal gatherings...I don't want to look out of place.' She pulled a face. 'Perhaps you should make my excuses...say I've come down with a virus, or something...I could always make a postal donation to the charity.'

'You agreed to go,' he said tersely, 'so why bother trying to get out of it at this late stage? This is difficult for me, too, remember. Let's just make the best of it, shall we, and try to behave like reasonable adults in each other's company?'

'You're right, of course.' Bethany bit her lip. It was understandable that he found it a problem, being with her. He had thought he might be the father of her child and the knowledge had horrified him. Believing that she had a child by someone else was probably equally disturbing. 'I know I can't let your parents down. It was just panic talking. I'm still not sure about this dress—whether it's good enough,' she said awkwardly.

Connor's glance travelled over her, slanting over her softly rounded curves and the smooth shapeliness of her legs before flicking up to dwell on the burnished gold of her hair.

She didn't know how to react to his lingering scrutiny and her skin warmed in response. She shouldn't have asked him. It only put him in a difficult position. Even if he thought she didn't look right for the occasion, how could he actually say that he thought she ought to change into something else, without appearing churlish?

'It's perfect. You look lovely, and you really don't need me to tell you so.' He seemed tense as he glanced around. 'The house is quiet,' he muttered tautly. 'Are Sam and your mother out?'

She nodded. 'They went to visit my sister Meredith this afternoon. She has a little girl of her own now— Becky—and I think they were planning a trip to the park together this afternoon. Sam gets on well with his little cousin, and we try to visit as often as we can. I expect Mum has stayed to have supper and she'll be coming back later,'

'Then you should have no worries for rest of the evening. Are you about ready to leave?'

'Yes, just give me a second.' He had always been one for good timekeeping, but things didn't always go the way you wanted them to, did they? Life tended to get in the way. 'I need to go and find my watch and my mobile.'

She came back to him a moment later and looked around to see whether she had forgotten anything.

'Is that it? Can we go now?' He placed a hand in the small of her back and firmly shepherded her to the door. 'Not that I'm hurrying you,' he said with a strained smile, 'but I left my parents organising the band and making last-minute preparations, and I don't want to leave it too late or they're quite likely to send out a search party.'

'We can't have that, can we?' she said huskily. She felt the heat of his hand as though it rested on her bare skin, and her senses had erupted, shooting all over the place in frantic disorder. Heavens, he only had to touch her and she felt as though every nerve ending in her body had sprung to life and all her limbs were as insubstantial as water. How on earth was she going to cope with spending a whole evening in his company?

He was right, though. This wasn't easy for either of them, and all they could do was try to make the best of it.

As they headed across town, she tried talking to him about the new job in Cornwall. 'You've always had this urge to get on, haven't you?' She looked at him curiously. It was part of his nature to be ambitious, and it was certainly nothing to do with a quest for a good salary. He had been born into a wealthy family, and the investments made on his behalf must have made him a considerable fortune of his own by now. 'What is it that's given you this drive to get ahead? Is it because your parents were always keen for you to do well?'

He gave that some thought, and then said carefully, 'It's possible, I suppose, but I think it's something that has always been in me. I'm passionate about what I do. I want to change things, to do my best for people and make sure that they have the chance to live in a healthy environment, and I've come to think that I can really make a difference if I'm in a position of authority.'

He sent her a brief glance. 'You're right in a way, though. My parents have always wanted me to be successful, that's true enough. My father, especially, doesn't know what it is to fail. He thinks everyone should go after what they want to the best of their ability and not look back. I suppose he managed to instil that in me, too, over the years.'

Bethany leaned back against the smooth, warm upholstery of the car, and made herself relax. She had always known that Connor was ambitious. What she hadn't bargained for was that his drive to make a name for himself would take him further and further away from her. She ought to be used to it by now, though. Connor hadn't been part of her own life for a long time, and he probably never would be again.

'When do you think you will feel that you have achieved all you want to? When you're the head of a regional department?'

He pulled a wry face. 'That's probably about right,' he agreed.

'Will the job in Cornwall qualify?'

He shook his head. 'Not exactly. I would be second in command, but there would be the prospect of promotion in a year or so.'

He would always strive for more. She knew it. It was part of him, the thirst for success that had made him the man he was now.

'You're still young,' Bethany pointed out lightly. 'You're only in your mid-thirties. There can't be many men who've moved ahead so quickly.'

'Maybe.' He scanned her face briefly before turning his attention back to the road.

His parents' house was some ten miles from the coast, on the northern fringe of the town. When they arrived there just a short time later, it was just as Bethany remembered. Set high on a hill, overlooking a wide sweep of the countryside, the Broughtons' home was like a mansion. It was built of mellow sand-coloured brick, a wide and imposing building that was lit up now with pools of golden light spilling out onto the large drive where several expensive cars were parked.

'Your father's done very well for himself over the years, hasn't he?' she said with a wry expression as she gazed up at the house. 'I can't imagine how vast his business empire must be. By now I should think it must stretch throughout the UK.'

'Even further than that, lately. His company is international now. It's not surprising that he's made a go of things, really. He's always been fascinated by new technology, so setting up his own electronics business came as second nature. By all accounts he worked day and night in the beginning to make it work.'

Connor sent her a quick glance. 'You've always been a little bit in awe of my father, haven't you? I don't know why—he's quite easy to get on with once you get to know him. It's just that his bark's worse than his bite.'

'Is it? I don't think I'd like to put that to the test.'

His smile was crooked. 'If you were to spend more time with my family, you wouldn't feel so intimidated by them.'

Bethany wasn't at all sure about that. Their lifestyle was way out of her league, she acknowledged as they approached the heavy oak doors at the front of the house. The building was set back in splendid isolation and surrounded by acres of land that the Broughtons owned. Inside, she recalled, it was sumptuously furnished, and on the few occasions she had visited there she had felt uncommonly nervous.

'I suppose I get on well enough with your mother,' she admitted. 'She's always made me feel welcome.'

'She's fond of you,' he murmured, as they passed through the doors and into the spacious hall. There was music and the sound of people talking, milling about, and he added, 'It looks as though we have a house full already.' Bethany stood and looked around for a moment, taking it all in.

The floor was thickly carpeted, and there were attractive floral displays in alcoves and on small tables, and chandeliers glittered overhead. It was luxurious and awe-inspiring, and she couldn't help feeling out of place, as though she didn't quite belong here.

Numerous rooms led off at angles from the hall, and waiters walked from one to the other, serving drinks and canapés. Friends nodded to Connor and cheerfully exchanged greetings with him.

'How many people have been invited?' Bethany asked him in a low voice, as a-uniformed attendant approached them, waiting to take their coats and usher them through the main hall to the ballroom.

'Around a hundred and fifty, as far as I know. There will probably be a large number of my father's friends here, and I expect for a good part of the evening he'll be engrossed in talking business. I think my mother wishes she could have a change from all that occasionally.'

Bethany smiled. 'I expect you're right. Does she still work at the hospital?'

'Yes. She's working in the neonatal unit at the moment, and I think she's finding that very satisfying. It can be traumatic, of course, when tiny babies are very ill, but I know she feels a real sense of achievement when she's been able to help them to recover.'

'I'm sure she does. I don't think I could do the work she does, though. I'm afraid I would get too involved, and then there would be no separating my working day from my private life. It's bad enough now, when people I've known for years become seriously ill, children especially.'

He nodded. 'That's the worst thing about being a doctor, isn't it? We just have to focus on the good we can do, and push the negative bits to one side, otherwise it would be horrendous.' He glanced across the hall. 'Shall I take you to meet my folks first of all? It might be as well to get that bit over with.'

'All right.' All at once she felt faintly apprehensive. This was Connor's territory, his home ground, and more than ever she felt the overwhelming barrier of the differences between her background and his.

He glanced at her briefly. 'Are you nervous?'

She attempted a shrug. 'It's been a while since I was here last and it's all a bit overwhelming... so much glitter and formality. Most of the people here are either immensely wealthy or high-powered.'

'You'll be all right.' He slid an arm around her waist and urged her forward. 'I think they must be in the ballroom.'

His palm was warm and reassuring, and she tried to tell herself that while he was by her side everything would be fine. He was at least being pleasant to her but, then, he would want things to go smoothly tonight, wouldn't he? It wouldn't do to let their personal disagreements spoil his parents' evening, so it stood to reason that his manner towards her would be agreeable.

He led her towards the far side of the hall, where double doors had been left open to the room beyond and the sound of music spilled out from there into the rest of the house.

'Things seem to be in full swing in here already,' he said as they went into the ballroom. A band was playing at the far end of the room on a raised dais and couples were gliding around the dance floor like exotic butterflies in accord with the music.

Donald Broughton, Connor's father, was standing to one side with a small group of men who looked to be about the same age as himself, and from their expressions and expansive gestures Bethany guessed they were talking business as Connor had said they would be.

They went up to him and he excused himself from the group, murmuring an apology to his friends as he moved away from them.

'Connor,' his father said, drawing them to one side, 'I'm glad you made it back here so quickly.'

He was tall, like his son, with steel-grey hair that had been cut short to frame an angular face, and he was wearing an impeccably styled lounge suit that made him seem even more formidable.

He greeted Bethany with a smile and took her hand in his as he said, 'It's been a long time since we saw you here, Bethany. How are things with you? I understand you're a GP now, with a practice by the sea.'

'It's a couple of miles inland, in fact,' she murmured. 'I've worked there for quite a while now, and we seem to be getting busier all the time. We've gone from a one-man practice to having three partners now.'

He nodded. 'That will be the tourists. This was a sleepy little place at one time, but it's getting much more popular as the years go by.'

He glanced at his son and added, 'There was a time when Connor wanted to be a GP, you know, but in the end he thought that he needed more of a challenge. He decided to spread his wings and see what there was to offer in the world of public health. His mother and I encouraged him to do that and I don't think he's ever regretted that choice.'

'A GP's work is just as important,' Connor said in a level tone, 'and probably every bit as difficult.'

'Of course.' Donald frowned. 'I didn't mean to suggest otherwise.' He gave his attention back to Bethany. 'Has being a GP worked out as you expected? You didn't ever think about going in for any other branch of medicine, did you?'

'I didn't. I knew from the first that I wanted to be a family doctor. I felt pretty sure that I would be happiest if I could get to know the people that I come into contact with on a daily basis. You aren't so likely to get that working in hospitals or in public health.'

Connor frowned. 'I do get to meet patients face to face—if I'm trying to piece together the events surrounding an outbreak of some sort, for instance, I might need to go and talk to them. I can give them advice and decide on the best course of medication and so on.'

His mother came to find them a moment later. Slender and elegant, she was dressed in an evening gown of rose-coloured organza shot through with gold thread, the material draping in soft folds around her legs. Her chestnut hair had been pinned up to frame the perfect oval of her face.

'You look lovely,' Bethany said, full of genuine admiration.

'Thank you.' Helen Broughton's lips curved in a smile. 'I'm glad you were able to come along and join us, Bethany. Connor said he had been working with you since he came back here. At first he wasn't sure whether you would be able to make it this evening. I suppose it must be difficult if you're likely to be on call.'

It didn't sound as though he had told them about Sam, and Bethany was glad about that. She didn't want to have to go into explanations right now. Besides, she wasn't at all sure that they would approve of her single-mother status.

'We have an out-of-hours service for night-time and the weekends,' she said, 'so it isn't such a problem to get out in the evenings. It must be more difficult for you, working in a hospital. Connor was just telling me that you're with the neonatal unit now. I hope you do well for the charity this evening. It's a good cause. I'm sure people will be happy to give what they can.'

'I hope so. I'd like to do something for the unit to ensure that the infants get the best possible care.'

'Are you hoping to specialise in neonatal surgery?'

'That was my plan,' Helen agreed. 'It has taken me a long time to get this far but, then, it's difficult for women to get ahead in surgery.' She grimaced. 'If you take time out to have children, your chances of promotion are very limited.'

Bethany nodded. 'I've heard that. The competition's fierce, and the hours are long. I don't suppose there are many women who have managed to get as far as you have.'

'Helen was working with Stephanie Rolleston until a month or so ago,' Donald cut in. 'Do you remember her? She won a scholarship and went on to do great things at university. Now, there's a girl who'll go far. She's already a registrar and she's still only in her early thirties.'

Bethany remembered Steph all too well. She was a confident woman, from a similar background to Connor's, and she had been friendly with his family for a number of years now. There had been a time when she and Connor had dated, and now Bethany tried to push that thought to the back of her mind. It left a bad taste in her mouth.

'I haven't seen Stephanie for quite a while,' she said, frowning. 'I used to see her when she was out riding sometimes at the weekends, but not recently. Perhaps she's been away.'

'Yes., she has,' Connor murmured. 'She went to the States for a couple of months to learn a new surgical technique. We met up while she was over there, and she came back on the same flight as me.'

'Did she?' She struggled to find her voice. 'That must have made the trip more pleasant for both of you.' She didn't want to think about Connor and Stephanie being together, or Connor and anyone else for that matter. He must have had plenty of opportunity to meet other women while he was away.

Donald flicked a glance at his son. 'She was telling me that she's due to start work at a hospital in Cornwall soon, so I expect you'll be seeing quite a lot of her before too long. She'll probably be able to give you some advice on the set-up there.'

'That's more than possible.'

Connor's father smiled. 'We suggested that she could stay here, rather than drive back tonight,' he told Bethany. 'She has a few days until her new job starts, so she thought that was a good idea. Saves her having to travel all the way to Cornwall.'

Steph had always had a thing about Connor. She enjoyed hanging around with him, and if she had found that she had him all to herself she wouldn't waste any time taking advantage of the situation.

Connor put in restlessly, 'Shall we go through to the dining room and see if we can get some supper?' His gaze narrowed on Bethany, and she came back to earth with a bump. Perhaps he had seen that her attention was wandering. She would have to get a grip.

'Sounds like a good idea to me,' she murmured.

They excused themselves and went out of the ballroom, leaving Connor's parents to go back to their friends.

They were good people, Bethany acknowledged to herself. Was she being fair in not telling them about Sam, in denying them the chance to be grandparents? How would they feel if they found out what she had done? Worse still, how would Sam feel, growing up without two sets of grandparents that were his by right?

A wave of guilt washed over her. There was nothing she could do to put any of that straight, was there, unless at the same time she created havoc in Connor's life? In the end, he wouldn't thank her for doing that.

They went through to the dining room, stopping to speak to friends as they made their way towards the food. Bethany's eyes widened when she saw the buffet that had been laid out on tables that stretched the length of the room.

'This looks wonderful,' she said appreciatively. 'Your parents have put on a wonderful spread.'

There was a delicious selection of hors d'oeuvres and delicate bite-sized sandwiches, together with all kinds of meats, arranged on silver platters. There was a cheese board with a selection of cheeses from all over the world. Alongside these there were savoury dips and rice dishes, and bowls of salad and little trays of grapes and pineapple.

'Help yourself,' Connor murmured, handing her a plate.

She took it, glancing up at him. 'I will, thanks. I'm starving.' He looked distracted, as though his mind was elsewhere, far removed from the chatter all around them. Was he regretting bringing her here? It had been his parents' suggestion after all.

She started to fill her plate. 'It seems like an awfully long while since I last had anything.'

He frowned. 'Why is that? Did you miss out on a proper meal?'

She nodded, taking a bite out of a spicy canapé. 'I was out on call today when one of my patients went into premature labour, and I spent what should have been my break bringing a new baby into the world.'

'Was the baby all right?' He helped himself to chicken and savoury rice.

'Not really. She was the tiniest thing, and her lungs were immature so that she was distressed, and for a time I was really scared that we were going to lose her. And I was concerned for the mother, too, of course.'

'How did you manage?'

'I made sure the mother was as comfortable as possible, and then I concentrated on the infant. I cleared her airways and gave her oxygen, and did my best to keep her warm.' She finished off a sandwich and wiped her fingers on a serviette. 'Then, thankfully, the ambulance arrived with an incubator, and we got them both to the hospital. I went with them and stayed until I could see that she was going to pull through.'

'That's not the sort of emergency you want on a regular basis,' he said with a frown. 'It's difficult enough to cope with the mother's needs when things happen suddenly like that.'

Bethany nodded. 'The midwife was held up with another patient. By the time she arrived it was all over.'

Connor looked at her empty plate a little later. 'Do you want some more to eat?'

She shook her head. 'I'm fine, thanks.'

He took her plate from her and put it to one side, and there was a tension in his movements that disturbed her. Why was it so difficult for them to have a simple conversation? For all the world she wished that there could be the same easy friendship and intimacy between them that there had been before he'd gone away. It wasn't possible, though, not now. His feelings for her had changed since he'd found out about Sam.

Shaking off her troubled thoughts, she sent him a rueful glance. 'If they feed you like this every day, you won't want to leave and go to Cornwall.'

'I have to go,' he said, and there was an abrupt note in his voice that made her look up at him sharply. 'Even though I might have good reason now to stay, it isn't going to happen. I've signed the contract.'

Bethany felt her stomach twist. Was he including her among his reasons for wanting to stay? Or was it because he still had doubts about who Sam's father was?

Either way, she wasn't going to fool herself into thinking that he felt any real need to be close to her. He had never offered commitment, never said that he loved her.

A waiter came and offered them glasses of pink champagne. Accepting a glass, she sipped at her drink. Connor's eyes darkened as he watched her, and a rosy flush of heat crept along her cheekbones. It was what they had been drinking at Meredith's wedding, and she hadn't tasted it since.

'It's hot in here. Let's go outside and get some air.'

Connor seemed edgy all at once, pulling at his shirt collar and tugging open the top button.

'OK.' His sudden mood switch made her feel jumpy inside, unsettled, but he wasn't giving her time to change her mind.

He placed a hand under her elbow and hurried her towards the open patio doors. She wondered uneasily what was driving him.

Others appeared to have had the same idea as them. Because it was such a fine summer evening, several sets of patio doors had been opened wide and the party had spilled out onto the garden terrace. People chatted easily to one another and there was a lot of laughter.

It was a large garden, landscaped with trees and shrubs to one side and a small rose arbour to the other. Winding paths led off through trellised archways as though they were inviting people to explore what lay beyond.

Connor didn't stop when they reached the rose arbour, but took her hand and hauled her along with him through an archway and along one of the paths.

'Where are we going?' she asked him. She was breathless from the headlong rush of trying to keep up with his long strides.

'I feel like stretching my legs. I thought we would walk down to the lake.'

The lake was at the far end of the long garden, secluded from the house by sloping meadow land that was dotted with trees. It was beautiful at this time of the evening, with the sun very low in the sky and spreading a rippling golden cloak over the water.

There was a wooden landing, built to give access to the boats that were moored on the water, and Connor helped her onto it, holding out a hand to her and drawing her up beside him.

'What's wrong, Connor? What's this all about?' she asked. She could still hear the music coming from the house, drifting softly on the air, and it reminded her so much of Meredith's wedding that she could hardly breathe.

'We need to talk,' he muttered fiercely. 'I'm still not sure that I'm absolutely clear about Sam's birth. When was he born? And don't tell me again that it has nothing to do with me, or I won't be responsible for my actions.'

The terse question shocked and startled her. 'In the winter,' she said huskily. That gave her some leeway at least. It had been a long winter, and for all he knew Sam might have been born at the end of it, instead of at the beginning of the year. 'He's only a little more than two years old.' Six months more. It wasn't exactly a lie, and at least it blurred the edges a bit.

He frowned. 'He seems older than that to me. He talks well, he's co-ordinated, sure of himself.'

'That's because he's bright and inquisitive, and his development is advanced. He's had a lot of encouragement.'

She stared at him unhappily, her conscience troubling her at the way she was deceiving him. 'Why do you torture yourself about his birth? I told you, you don't have to feel any responsibility towards him.' If she could believe that he really wanted Sam to be his son, if he genuinely wanted to love and care for his child, things might have been different. But he had made it clear long ago that he wasn't ready for a family, and even now he was planning a career move.

Hard eyes bored into hers. 'You admitted that the Pill didn't suit you. You might not have been taking it when we were together and that puts a doubt in my mind about whether he could be mine.'

'Why on earth should it?' He was backing her into a corner, and her defences kicked in, too late. She said jerkily, 'He doesn't even look like you. Hasn't it ever occurred to you that he looks like Martin?'

He sucked in a harsh breath. 'Martin? I know that you and he were always close—the best of friends, I thought—but I had no idea that you and he would ever be more than that to each other.' His jaw moved in a sudden tight spasm. 'So much must have happened between you after I went away. Did you turn to him when you were troubled—after your father died? The way you used to turn to me?'

Dismayed, she looked up at him through thick lashes. 'You weren't there, Connor. Three years is a long time, and things were bound to change.'

Sparks flared in his blue eyes. 'So much that you went straight into Martin's arms and had a child by him?' He shook his head as though that would clear it. 'I can't take any of this in. You and I had something special, didn't we? Something almost indefinable...a rapport, a meeting of minds...and yet suddenly I don't know you any more. I don't even know Martin, my best friend. I can't believe that he wouldn't have pushed for marriage if he was really that deeply involved with you.'

There was no way she could answer any of his doubts without making matters ten times worse for herself and Sam. It hurt to go on deceiving him, but she couldn't see any way out.

'We only had one night, Connor. What makes you think Martin hasn't pushed for marriage?' she managed huskily. 'Whatever I choose to do, it doesn't matter whether you take it on board or not, it's my decision in the end. It has nothing to do with you.'

She turned away from him but a powerful hand shot out and hauled her back to face him.

'Doesn't it? You're wrong about that, Beth, very wrong. If there's the slightest chance that Sam is my child, do you really think I would stand by and let another man be a father to him?'

'It isn't up to you to do anything. The plain fact is that you have no place in Sam's life. Martin was there from the beginning. He was with me through my pregnancy, through the early days. He says he loves me, he thinks the world of Sam, and he would do anything for either of us.'

Connor's mouth made a slashing, harsh line. 'Are you telling me that you feel the same way about him?'

'I'm asking you what you have to offer that could compete with any of that?'

All at once his eyes were storm-laden, as though her words had triggered something elemental in him. 'You're making a mistake, a big mistake, if you're content to settle for a cosy life with Martin,' he said tautly. 'He isn't the man for you. He won't make you happy. Sooner or later, you'll find that settling for comfort and peace of mind isn't enough—you'll want much more than that.'

'Will I? How do you know that I'll simply be settling for those things? What makes you so sure of yourself?' All the hurt and confusion that she had felt in the last few years welled up in her, clogging her throat, and she glared at him, angry with herself for letting him get to her. 'Why are you suddenly the one who has all the answers?'

It had been a mistake to bait him. As soon as the words had left her mouth she knew that what she had said would stir the sleeping tiger.

'I know how it was for us.' He dragged her to him, a hand sliding through the silk of her hair and tethering her so that she couldn't escape. 'That night, you came to me, you held nothing back. You melted in my arms, you were soft and sweet, and infinitely desirable. I can't forget that.'

She saw the heat flare in his blue eyes as he bent his head to her and bore down on her, his mouth crushing hers in sensual demand. It was a fiery, tempestuous kiss that dominated and pressured and was like nothing she had ever known.

His hands moved over her, knowingly, expertly, shaping her as though he couldn't get enough of her, pulling her into the cradle of his loins, and she responded instinctively, wanting him, needing him, a hot surge of excitement twisting through her and engulfing her in a scorching tide of longing. It was what she had dreamed about, being in his arms, being held so close that their bodies meshed almost as one.

'See,' he muttered heavily, 'this is how it was between us. I know the way your body responds to me, the way you tremble in my arms.' He slid a hand over her breast, his fingers seeking a hardening peak and lingering there, his circling thumb driving her to distraction.

The sensation was electrifying, mind-shattering, and she wanted it to go on for ever and ever. Her body quivered hungrily as his hands moved over her, stroking every curve and hollow, coming to rest warmly on the rounded swell of her hips.

It was true. He had always held this power over her, the power to turn her body to aching, trembling need.

'I remember how you felt in my arms,' he muttered harshly, 'how eagerly you returned my kisses. Nothing's changed.' His body pressured her into the rail of the deck, the urgency of his mouth serving only to feed her own hunger.

She didn't know him like this. He was like a man driven, a man who was caught up in a whirlwind of desperation, of need. She wanted him, too, every bit as much, her whole body tormented by feverish desire. She felt as though she were flying towards the sun, boneless, melting, and any moment now she would be consumed by flame.

His thumb brushed the line of her jaw and he tilted her face so that she had no choice but to look into his fiercely glittering eyes.

'I dare you to tell me that you feel this way about Martin. Do you tremble in his arms the way you do in mine?' he said raggedly. 'Do your lips soften and cling the way they do with mine?' His voice was deep, gritty, filled with burning intensity, but underneath she thought she heard a hint of uncertainty. 'Tell me you want him the way you want me... Tell me that you never cared for me...'

Her defences slammed into overdrive. He was trying to make her admit what she had truly felt for him, and if she did that, she would surely be lost. He wasn't going to sweep her off her feet and become part of her life once more, was he? He was filled with doubts about Sam's paternity and he'd been shocked to come back home and find that everything he remembered had been turned upside down and would never be the same again, but there was no answer to his dilemma.

'What do you really want me to say, Connor? That I don't love Martin? That he isn't going to be part of my life?' She looked at him steadily, making up her mind to set this straight at least. 'You're right, in a way. Martin and I aren't seeing each other now, but that doesn't mean that I'm prepared to get involved with you. You're not going to be around for long enough for us to make a go of things.'

Loving him was a painful, wretched way of going on. She couldn't go through all that heartache again, could she?

Shakily, she pushed her palms against his chest and twisted away from him. 'I must go now,' she muttered hoarsely. 'I should never have come here... I should have known it would be like this.'

'You don't mean what you said,' he muttered roughly. He tried to draw her back to him, but she resisted, backing away.

'What do you want from me, Connor?' she said huskily. 'A few more nights together before you move on?' She shook her head. 'I can't do that, I won't do that. I refuse to let you sweep me off my feet as if nothing has happened.'

'Why are you saying these things?' He stared at her, his blue eyes glittering like flame. 'You wanted me just now, every bit as much as I wanted you.'

'Isn't that the problem?' she asked huskily. 'What you're talking about is desire, a love affair maybe, something that will last only for as long as you happen to be around... And how long will that be? A few weeks? And then it will be out of sight, out of mind.'

His jaw tensed. 'I have a job to do. I can't stay here. I have to move on, Beth, you know that.'

'Yes, I know that. It's always been the same and it isn't going to change, is it? How long will you stay in the next job before you're looking further afield, before you're ready to move on again?'

He grimaced. 'I don't know what the future holds, Beth, and I can't make you any promises, except to say that I'm here now, and when I leave I'll only be in the next county. It's not as though it's a continent away.'

The next county? He made it sound as though it were bus ride away. Where he was going, a hundred miles would be more like it, and how could they make a relationship work on that basis?

Of course he wasn't making any promises. She wanted more than a simple affair, and it was madness to even think that he might want anything more...like a wife and family...

She straightened her shoulders. 'I think I should go,' she said through stiff lips.

'So you're content to settle for a life of half-measures? No relationships, no risk-taking, no hint of anything that might stir up the kind of feelings that you once might have had?' He spat out the words, a dark, angry flush staining his cheekbones. 'You're taking the easy way out, settling for what's comfortable and safe.'

Bethany bit back a sharp retort. He wasn't ever going to understand how much she wanted him in her life. He had no intention of staying to find out.

'I want to forget everything that happened before you went away,' she said huskily. 'That part of my life is over, finished. You should respect that. I'm not going to let my life be turned upside down because you came back and simply wanted to start again where you left off.'

CHAPTER FIVE

Connor wasn't giving her any argument. When Bethany started to walk back along the landing towards the house, he followed her, grim-faced.

'I think I'd better go and collect my wrap,' she muttered when they reached the terrace. 'It's time I was going.'

'You don't have to go,' he said curtly, 'not yet, not like this.'

'I do. I rely on my mother too much, and it's not fair to let her manage everything on her own. Sam will be tired after a day out, and sometimes he gets fractious. He might not settle.'

His mouth was hard. 'Then I'll take you home.'

She shook her head. 'No,' she told him hurriedly. 'There's no need for you to do that. You should stay here and entertain your guests. You can't leave.' She looked away from him because her eyes were beginning to blur with unshed tears and she didn't want him to see her vulnerability. 'You could perhaps ring for a taxi for me while I go and say goodnight to your parents.'

She walked away from him, leaving him standing there, his eyes boring into her. He wasn't used to not having things go his way, but she wasn't going to let him persuade her into something that she would live to regret. He would get over it soon enough.

Besides, Stephanie was staying overnight, and she would take his mind off things for sure.

He met her at the main door a few minutes later, and she said with creditable calmness in the circumstances, 'Did you manage to get me a taxi?'

'No,' he said flatly. 'I told you, I'll take you home.'

She bit back a retort and turned to go out onto the drive. She wasn't going to stand here and argue with him. It would be pointless.

They walked to his car in silence, and he started up the engine just as soon as they were settled, pulling out of the drive without a backward look.

It was virtually a silent journey. Neither of them was in the mood to say much. Fortunately, the roads were fairly clear at this time of night, and it wasn't long before they arrived at the cottage.

He stopped the car, and she looked up at the house and frowned. 'That's odd,' she said quietly. 'Everything's in darkness. We usually leave the hall light on in the evening because Sam doesn't like to go to bed in the dark. He has a night-light and we leave his door open so that the hall light shines into his room.'

'Perhaps they're not home yet,' Connor suggested in a brisk tone. 'Do you think it's possible that they would have stayed on at Meredith's?'

'It's possible, I suppose.' She felt chilled suddenly, despite the warmth of the summer evening. 'I'll check the answering-machine. Perhaps Mum will have phoned.'

'I'll come in with you.'

'Yes.' Even though things weren't good between them, Bethany was glad that Connor was with her. The house was in darkness throughout and it was empty and silent, with no sign of Sam or her mother, and she didn't have a good feeling about any of this. It wasn't like her mother to change any of the arrangements without letting her know, and she could have got in touch easily enough by using the mobile.

There was no message on the answering-machine, and she bit her lip, unsure what to do next.

'You could try ringing your sister,' Connor said levelly. 'They might still be there, or at least Meredith could tell you when they left.'

'Yes, of course. That might be what's happened. I'll do it now.'

Meredith was surprised that they weren't home. 'They left here an hour ago,' she said, and Bethany could hear the frown in her voice. 'I can't imagine what has happened to them. Perhaps they stopped to get a snack on the way,' she added doubtfully, 'but that wouldn't take this long—and we had eaten already.' She sounded worried.

'Look,' Bethany said quickly, 'I'm going to see if I can find out what has happened. I'll ring you back as soon as I know anything. As you say, it's probably nothing. I expect they've just decided to stop off somewhere.'

She tried to sound positive, but inside she was beginning to feel a terrible sense of dread. Her hands were shaking as she put the receiver down.

She looked at Connor with frightened eyes. 'I'm going to have to go and look for them. I know which way they would have come home, and I need to go and see if something's happened, to see if they've broken down...'

He nodded. 'I think that's a good idea.' He was already on his way to the door. 'I'll drive.'

'I...I'll manage... You should be getting back to the party...'

'I said I'll drive, and I meant it,' he said tersely.

'You're in no state to be behind the wheel of a car right now.'

That was true enough. Her hands were shaking so much she didn't think she could have handled it, and she was relieved that he insisted on going with her.

They hurried out to the car and Connor turned it out on to the road again, taking the route that led to Meredith's house. He drove slowly along the country lanes, and Bethany looked out of the window, peering into the darkness for any sign of her mother's car.

'Mum often comes this way,' she said huskily. 'She says there's not much traffic along here.'

'We're coming up to the hill now. If I remember rightly, there's a junction just as you get to it where the road forks around the base of the hill. It's not too far away. We'll take a closer look there.'

A pulse was beginning to throb in Bethany's throat, so strongly that it sounded in her ears and she could hardly breathe. It wasn't unknown for tourists to come along from the pub and forget to put a foot on the brake as they came to the bend in the road. There had been a few near misses along this stretch over the last few years.

Connor was slowing the car down, and she looked at him in consternation. 'What is it?' she asked. 'Have you seen something?'

He nodded, and she frowned. She had seen nothing. What was it that was causing him to stop the car?

'Over there,' he said tautly. 'I can see something on the verge, against the hedgerow. It looks as though a car has left the road...although it might just be an abandoned vehicle. We had better get out and take a closer look.'

Her legs were weak and trembling as she stepped down from the car a moment later.

Looking across the road to where he pointed, she could just about make out the outline of a car in the hedgerow. It was partially covered by the branches of a hawthorn, and as she moved closer she could see that it was a four-door hatchback.

Just like the car that her mother drove. Panic rose up in her throat and for a few moments she felt thoroughly nauseous and thought that she might be sick. Her legs began to buckle. It couldn't be what she thought... Don't let it be that... Please, no...

'Connor?' Her voice sounded thin and strained.

'I'm here,' he said at once, and she clung to the comfort of having him near. He came and put an arm around her, offering support as they slowly approached the car.

Bethany tried to steel herself for what they might find.

The front end of the car was crumpled against the trunk of an ash tree and as she peered in through the windows she gasped, unable at first to take in what she saw.

The driver was slumped over the steering-wheel, her softly waving fair hair covering her cheek, but Bethany knew instantly that it was her mother.

'Oh, no...' She turned to Connor, the blood draining from her face, her hands shaking as her fingers touched the window. 'Connor, it's my mother in there. She... she must be hurt.' Her voice dropped to a whisper. 'And what about Sam?'

'Let me get a closer look.' Connor quickly moved her to one side and she clutched at the sleeve of his jacket with clenched fingers. She looked at him with fearful, desperate eyes. 'We have to do something, we have to get her out of there.'

'I'll take care of her. You go and see to Sam.' His voice was deep and comforting, decisive where she had simply gone to pieces, and she thought once again that she was more than thankful that he'd decided to stay with her, that he was by her side.

She heard a faint sound coming from inside the vehicle, a child's muffled sobbing, and her heart seemed to turn over in her chest. In the background she could hear Connor on his mobile, phoning the Emergency Services.

'Oh, no...' she whispered. 'Sam, sweetheart, don't cry. I'm coming.' The sound of his cries clawed at her insides, making her more wretched than ever. She tugged at the handle of the door, trying to wrench it open and finding that all her efforts were useless. 'I can't do it, it's not moving,' she muttered anxiously.

'It must be locked from the inside,' Connor said, and she remembered how Sam liked to play with the lock mechanism whenever he was in the car, and for that reason it had always been all the more important that she made sure the child lock was on.

Why couldn't she think straight? She needed to act quickly, but there was a thick fog in her head, a heavy cloud of despair that was slowing her down and making her limbs feel like lead. She had to get rid of it and start trying to think clearly for Sam's and her mother's sakes.

Connor was already at the front of the car, trying the driver's battered door.

With a supreme effort he managed to haul it open. 'Sarah,' he was saying urgently as he tested her pulse, 'can you hear me? It's Connor. Beth's here with me and we're going to get you out of here.'

Bethany heard her mother mumble something, but she couldn't make out what it was that she was trying to say. Struggling to see through the night-time gloom, she reached inside the car and snapped on the interior light and then at last she could see that Sam was in the back, strapped into his car seat. When he saw her, his hiccuping sobs became increasingly loud.

'It's all right, Sam,' she said, trying to make her voice sound as soothing as possible. 'Mummy's here.' She released the child lock from inside the car and climbed through to him in the back and gave him a gentle hug. His fingers tangled in her hair as he held onto her, and she released the catch on his seat restraints and checked him over as best she could. As far as she could make out, he wasn't injured.

A huge tide of relief swept over her. 'I'm here now, sweetheart,' she said, taking him into her arms and hugging him tightly. 'Mummy's got you. We'll get you out of here, my baby. It's going to be all right.'

She kissed his soft cheek and wished that the mist that was swirling in her head would go away and allow her to concentrate on what she needed to do next. Sam didn't seem to be hurt, but what about her mother?

Connor was already busy, making a careful, thorough examination.

'How is she?' she asked in a shaky whisper.

'It looks as though she has a nasty head injury,' he answered in a grim tone. 'She's fading in and out of consciousness, and I'm not getting an awful lot of sense out of her. I'm worried about her condition. I'll need to get my medical bag from the boot of my car.'

He frowned, glancing hurriedly at Sam. 'How's he doing?'

'I think he'll be all right. It doesn't look as though he was hurt at all, but he's very shocked.'

He nodded. 'That's understandable. I'll go and get the things I need from my car.'

While he was gone, she tried to talk to her mother to try to assess her condition, but the responses she received were confused. Then Sarah began to vomit and Bethany thought anxiously that that was a bad sign.

She needed to put Sam down so that she could see to her mother, but he clung fiercely to her and wouldn't let her go, so she struggled to keep her mother's airways clear and hold onto him at the same time.

Sam's little arms were wound tightly around her neck. He was holding onto her as though he would never let go. 'Nanna poorly?' he whispered.

'Yes, sweetheart,' she said in a thin voice. 'Nanna's hurt her head.'

'Window broked,' he said, and she nodded, looking at the shattered windscreen and the slivers of glass that lay on the front seats and in the well of the car.

Connor came back to them at last, putting his medical bag and equipment down on the floor.

'I wish the ambulance would get here,' she said anxiously. 'I'm afraid it will be too late.'

'Your mother has both of us with her. Try not to worry.'

Connor worked hurriedly to put in an airway to help ease her mother's breathing, and Bethany took over the working of the ventilation bag that would deliver vital oxygen. Sam still wouldn't let her put him down, and at least this was something that she could do one-handed and still be able to hold him.

Connor set up an intravenous line in her mother's arm so he could give her drugs to quell the sickness and alleviate any pain, and Bethany comforted herself with the thought that at least they were doing what they could to minimise the damage that had already been done in the accident.

Head injuries like this one were always dangerous in themselves, but it was events that might build up afterwards that could add to the seriousness of the situation and leave a patient brain damaged or worse.

A few minutes later, her mother's body started to convulse, and Bethany watched in growing distress as the fit continued. Her eyes widened in concern. 'Connor, she's seizing,' she said anxiously. 'She needs an anticonvulsant.'

She was suddenly terribly afraid. At the forefront of her mind was the knowledge that one of the major problems with any head injury was the development of oedema, swelling that might fatally compromise blood flow. That problem could be made worse by lack of oxygen or events such as this.

'It's all right, I'm on it.'

She moved so that Sam was shielded from what was happening, and watched anxiously as Connor did what he could to stop the fits.

'Her condition's deteriorating fast,' he muttered tautly.

'Do you think there might be an intracranial haemorrhage?'

He nodded. 'I think so. We need to get her to hospital quickly. There may be a blood clot forming.'

That would mean that her mother would need an operation to release the pressure. Bethany closed her eyes briefly and tried to gather some strength. Sam immediately registered the tension all around him and started to cry loudly, great gulping sobs that tore her apart.

She did what she could to comfort him, stroking his head and murmuring quietly soothing words against his soft cheek.

At last the seizure calmed as her mother's body responded to the medication, and Connor came to stand by Bethany's side and put an arm around both of them, saying quietly, 'Try to stay strong, Beth. We've done everything we can for her for the moment. All we can do now is wait for the ambulance.'

'I know. I'm just so thankful that you're here with me, and that you were able to take care of her,' she said shakily, close to tears. 'I don't know how I would have coped on my own.'

'I'm sure you would have managed just fine.' He drew her close to him, and held her tightly for a moment. Then he straightened and became professional once more. 'I'll take over the ventilation. You take Sam away from the car and try to keep him calm. The ambulance should be here soon.'

She did as he suggested, talking quietly to Sam while they waited, and to her relief it arrived just a few minutes later.

The paramedics swiftly transferred Sarah to the ambulance and Bethany climbed in and sat beside her, her arms still tightly wrapped around Sam. He leaned his head against her chest. 'Nanna 'o'pital?' he said tearfully, and she kissed him gently.

'Yes, Sam. We're taking her there so that the doctors and nurses can look after her.'

'I'll follow you,' Connor said. 'Try not to worry... there'll be a neurological team standing by to take care of her. I know the man in charge...he's good. She'll get the best treatment there is.'

Bethany heard his words and tried to accept the comfort he offered, but she felt numb inside. As they drove to the hospital, she suddenly remembered Meredith, who would be waiting and worrying, and she phoned her and quickly told her what was happening.

Meredith was obviously distressed, but Bethany said quietly, 'I promise I'll let you know as soon as there's any more news.'

At the hospital, when her mother was whisked away for tests, it was as though none of it was real. Bethany sat down on one of the chairs in the corridor outside the assessment room and felt every bit as though she were in the middle of a nightmare.

Connor stayed with her all the time, talking to her in a gentle manner, explaining to Sam that his nanna was poorly but that the doctors would be with her all the time and would do their very best to try to make her better.

Sam had stopped crying by now, but his face was pale, and Bethany was afraid that the shock had been too much for him. A nurse gave her a blanket to wrap around him, and then brought them hot drinks to take away some of the chill they felt inside.

'I don't know how it can have happened,' Bethany said unhappily to Connor as they waited for news. 'The accident, I mean.' She stroked Sam's head as he rested drowsily on her lap. 'The roads are dry tonight, and there's no mist. My mother's a good driver. She always keeps within the speed limit, she never takes risks.'

'Perhaps she'll be able to tell us what happened when she recovers,' he answered softly. 'From the angle of her car, though, where it came to a stop against the hedge, I'd say that she must have swerved to avoid an oncoming vehicle and that it clipped her and spun her round as it passed.'

A muscle clenched in his jaw. 'There have been problems on that stretch of the road before, with joyriders speeding around the bend. I should think that must be what happened tonight, otherwise surely whoever was responsible would have stopped to help.'

She sighed raggedly, still trying to take it all in. 'You're probably right. I don't suppose the police will have much luck catching them now. They'll be well away, and I doubt whether anyone would have seen what went on.'

After a while the door to the assessment room opened and the consultant in charge of her mother's case came towards them. Bethany tensed, suddenly desperately afraid of what she might hear.

He said quietly, 'We've done a CT scan, and I'm afraid your mother has suffered a fractured skull, Dr Vaughan. We think there may be a blood clot forming at the site of the injury and we need to excise it to prevent any further complications. We're preparing your mother for surgery now so that we can take her up to the operating theatre right away.'

Bethany gave a soft moan, and he went on hurriedly, 'We'll take very good care of her, you know. We'll do our very best to help her to pull through. The surgeon who will be doing the operation is an excellent man, and he's very experienced in dealing with this type of injury.'

He gave her a sympathetic smile. 'I'll come and let you know how things are going, but it may take a while, so you may as well try to make yourself comfortable in the meantime. There's a small waiting room just along the corridor where you can be private. You won't be disturbed in there.'

Bethany pulled in a deep breath to steady herself. 'Thank you. I know you'll do your best to help my mother.'

Connor led the way to the waiting room, and they were both relieved to find that it was empty as the consultant had said it would be. Bethany didn't feel like having to face strangers when she was in such a nervous, exhausted state.

She looked around briefly and saw that there were upholstered chairs and a comfortable-looking padded seat along one side of the room. She chose a seat in the far corner and sat down with Sam and tried to reassure him. It was really hard to do that when she was worried sick herself about how things might turn out, and when she wasn't sure how much he understood of what was going on.

Sam's eyes were heavy-lidded by now, but he wasn't giving in. He was exhausted, and fretful, and that was hardly surprising after what he had been through. The trauma had been enough to send him over the edge, and it was getting very late, too, way past the time when he would normally have been in bed.

Bethany was bone weary herself, but her mind was working overtime, and she forced herself to stay alert so that she would know what was happening.

'I'll go and see if I can get some coffee for us,' Connor murmured. 'It might help... It looks as though we could be in for a long night.'

'OK.' When he had left the room, she rang Meredith once more and told her about the operation. 'We shan't know anything for a while,' she said, 'and it'll probably be a day or so after she recovers from surgery before we know how the accident has affected her.' She didn't add the worry that played heaviest on her mind, the possibility that her mother might not come through at all. 'I'll keep in touch,' she said quietly. 'I'll let you know just as soon as I hear anything.'

Connor came back a short time later, carrying a tray laden with coffee in polystyrene cups, some packets of sandwiches, milk and a soft toy for Sam.

'They were selling these cuddly toys for a charity event,' he murmured, putting the tray down on a low table. 'I wasn't sure what you would like to eat, so I've brought a selection. There's cheese, and salad, and some ham. I thought Sam might like a bun.'

'Thanks, Connor.' She took the iced bun and showed it to Sam. 'Look what Connor's bought for you,' she said quietly, her mouth tilting at the corners. 'You like these, don't you?'

Sam nodded sombrely, his eyes going from the sticky bun to Connor.

'It's all right,' Connor said lightly. 'You can eat it. It'll fill your tummy up. It must be quite a while since you had anything to eat and you're probably hungry by now.'

He handed him the fleecy blue rabbit. 'I thought you might like this. Have you got a rabbit at home?'

Sam shook his head. 'Not got rabbit,' he said. 'Me got Sparky.'

Connor looked confused, and Bethany explained, 'He means his hamster. He loves pets, and he keeps asking if he can have all sorts of animals, rabbits, kittens, dogs—you name it, he wants it.'

Connor smiled at Sam. 'Your mummy had lots of pets when she was little. She had a dog and a rabbit, and we used to take her dog for long walks. Sometimes she would let her rabbit play outside on the lawn, and the dog would look after it and make sure it didn't run away. If the rabbit tried, to go into the flower border, the dog would chase it back onto the grass.'

Sam giggled at that. 'Doggy chase rabbit?'

Connor nodded. 'That's right, he did. I think he imagined he was rounding up sheep.'

Sam bit into his bun, and the white icing outlined his mouth with a frosting of sugar.

'Now you look like a snowman with a white mouth,' Connor said with a smile, and lifted him up to show him what he looked like in a mirror that was up on the wall.

Sam giggled again and licked all around his mouth until the icing-sugar had gone. 'That better,' he said. 'Gone now.' He looked at Connor, and waved the bun in front of his nose. 'You want some?'

Connor ducked his head out of the way just in time. 'No, thanks,' he said, chuckling. 'Why don't we sit you down here in the corner and you can drink your milk and play with your rabbit while I talk to your mummy?'

Sam seemed content to go along with this idea, and Connor went and sat down beside Bethany once more.

'Try to eat something,' he said, nudging the pack of sandwiches towards her. 'You won't do your mother any good at all if you start feeling faint through lack of food.'

'I'm not hungry and, besides, I ate something at the party.'

Connor glanced down at the gold watch on his wrist, and said, 'That was hours ago.'

'I wish they'd come and tell us what's happening.'

'The doctor said it would take a while.' He paused momentarily. 'Have you thought what you're going to do about Sam, now that your mother's not well enough to look after him?'

Bethany blinked, then shook her head. 'I'd forgotten all about work. You're right, I should think about what I'm going to do.' She bit her lip, trying to work out what would be for the best.

'Will you take leave from the surgery? You won't be able to think properly while your mother's in hospital, and I imagine she'll need someone to be with her when she's back at home.'

'Yes, that's true.' She frowned, then said thoughtfully, 'I'll have to take some time off, of course, and I need to talk to Meredith about what we're going to do.'

'Will you ask Martin to help out with Sam?' There was a cautious note in his voice.

'Martin?' Bethany was puzzled for a moment, before she realised that Connor must have finally come to believe that Martin was Sam's father. She shook her head. 'No, I don't think that's possible.'

'Sam's going to need a man around sooner or later, whether you want it or not. Have you thought any more about how he will feel, growing up without a father?'

His comment hit home. As though she hadn't thought about it almost every waking moment. What could she do, though, when his father had made it clear that his career came first?

'I don't want to talk about this now,' she said through trembling lips. She didn't want him to go along this route. It was difficult at the best of times, and right now she was even less able to handle the consequences of him discovering the truth. 'I'll face up to that when I come to it,' she said hoarsely.

'Will you?'

'Of course.' A sudden sheen of tears blurred her eyes, and she bent her head and hastily blinked them away. She didn't want Connor to see her doubts and fears.

Perhaps he sensed her distress, though, because he backed off, dropping the subject. She looked over to the seat where Sam was now dozing peacefully, the blue rabbit firmly clutched to his chest. How would Sam feel, not ever knowing his father? It was a thought she had battled with endlessly, but she simply didn't know the answer.

The waiting-room door opened just then, and she looked up in sudden apprehension, fully expecting to see the doctor arriving with news of her mother.

It wasn't the doctor, though. It was Meredith who was standing there, looking pale, her eyes reddened as though she had been crying. She pushed back her tawny hair with a shaking hand. 'Has there been any news?'

'Nothing yet,' Bethany said quietly, going over to her and giving her a hug. 'We're still waiting to find out what's happening.'

'I didn't know what to do. I left David looking after Becky and got a taxi and came straight over here.' She looked from one to the other and said haltingly, 'She will come through this, won't she? I mean, how bad is it?'

Connor got to his feet and went over to her. 'Come and sit down and have some coffee,' he murmured. 'I bought an extra cup, and it might help you to feel better.'

He put an arm around her and led her to a seat. 'These things are always difficult to predict, you know, but we did what we could for your mother before the ambulance came, and that means her chances are much better than they might have been. If the doctors can remove the blood clot and release the pressure on her brain, we hope that she'll come through it all right.'

'But there's a chance she could be brain-damaged as a result of the accident?'

Connor's expression was serious. 'That's always a possibility, yes.' He gently squeezed Meredith's shoulder. 'We might not know the full effects until a few days after the operation. She'll need time to recover, and then we'll be able to assess her condition better.'

Meredith got up and started to pace the room. 'If only I could get my hands on whoever did this. I feel so angry about it. To just leave them there, helpless... it's unbelievable that anyone could do that.'

She looked over to where Sam was now curled up, fast asleep in the corner. 'Thank heaven that he wasn't hurt, too.'

Bethany gently smoothed the blanket over the sleeping child and tucked it around him. 'Thank heaven,' she muttered thickly, her throat clogged with emotion, her eyes bright with unshed tears.

'I could take him home with me,' Meredith said. 'He'll be company for Becky, and they could go to playschool together. That would help you out, wouldn't it? I know you have to work.'

'Thanks, Merry. I'll look after him myself for the next few days, but you're right—I'll need to make some long-term arrangements.'

The door opened once more, and this time it was the doctor who came to see them.

'How is she?' Bethany asked quickly. 'Is the operation over?'

'The operation is finished,' he said carefully, 'and your mother has been taken to the intensive care unit. The surgeon managed to remove the clot and stem the bleeding, and now we just have to wait and see what kind of recovery she'll make.'

He hesitated for a moment, and Bethany was conscious of Meredith stiffening, waiting to hear the worst. 'As you know,' he went on, 'in any case where there has been trauma to the brain it's impossible to know straight away whether there has been any long-term damage. Our neurological team will be doing whatever is necessary to help your mother make the best recovery possible.'

'Thank you,' Bethany said huskily. 'Would it be all right if we go and see her?'

'You can, of course, but only for a couple of minutes. She won't be responsive, you do realise that, don't you?'

Bethany nodded, and Connor said quietly, 'I'll stay here with Sam while you and Meredith go up to the unit.'

Bethany gave him a tired smile. 'Thanks, Connor.'

She went with Meredith to where her mother lay, bandaged and hooked up to drainage tubes and drips, and surrounded by monitoring equipment. Bethany was used to seeing all of this, and she knew she had to be strong for Meredith, but even so it was hard when it was her own mother who was the patient.

They stayed for a few minutes, and then went back to Connor in the waiting room.

'I'll take you both home,' he said, glancing from one to the other. 'You both look about dead on your feet.'

CHAPTER SIX

Bethany's mother stayed unconscious for almost two days, and when she finally opened her eyes it became clear that there was some residual paralysis in her. arm and leg and that her speech had been affected.

Between visits to the hospital and caring for Sam, Bethany was finding it difficult to come to terms with what had happened. She was lost, trying to keep up a normal front for Sam and filling time by doing jobs about the house.

Connor had been supportive throughout, going with her each day to the hospital, fetching anything that she thought her mother might need. She was grateful to him, and infinitely glad of his presence, but the shock of seeing her mother like this was traumatising, and the days slipped by like a never-ending nightmare.

It was Meredith who persuaded her to go back to work. 'I'm going to take Becky out for the day tomorrow, and I'm sure Sam would love to go with us, too. You should go back to the surgery,' she said. 'You can't do anything to help Mum recover any faster, and staying at home will only make you feel worse.'

'You're probably right,' Bethany admitted. 'I feel helpless, and while she's in hospital at least I know that they're doing what they can for her. The physiotherapist is working with her every day, trying to help restore her speech and helping her to learn to use her limbs again.'

Martin and Jeff did what they could to make things easier for her when she went back to work a few days later.

'Any time you want to go to the hospital, just let us know and we'll cover for you,' Jeff said. 'And when your mother comes home, if you need to spend extra time with her, we'll arrange something.'

Martin hugged her. 'Jeff's right,' he murmured against her cheek. 'If you have any problems at all, tell me and I'll do what I can to help. If you want me to babysit Sam while you go and visit your mother, you've only to ask.'

'Thanks, Martin. Thanks, both of you.'

They were both being kind and helpful, but Bethany knew that they were under pressure at the height of the summer season and she wanted to pull her weight while she was at the surgery.

She would do whatever she had to do, with the minimum of disturbance to anyone.

Jeff gave her a reassuring smile. 'We mean it, Bethany. Don't try to get through this on your own. Just let me know if you need time off, and I'll do my best to arrange locum cover.' He glanced at his watch. 'I must go and make a start. I'm doing vaccinations this morning, and I can see that my first patient has already arrived.'

Left alone with Martin, Bethany remembered the night of the party and the migraine that had kept him away.

'How are you now?' she asked him. 'I was sorry not to see you the other evening and I meant to ring and find out if you were feeling better, but then my mother had her accident and everything else went out of my head. Did your tablets help?'

He nodded. 'It wasn't too bad. The tablets I take for the headaches nowadays are very good. Before, if I had a migraine it could go on for two or three days, but since I've been taking these new pills I've found that they usually clear up within a couple of hours.' He glanced at her thoughtfully. 'Actually, I had the idea you might appreciate being alone with Connor for a while. I know how you feel about him.'

She touched his arm in a gesture of friendship. 'That was considerate of you. I'm really not sure that there's any future for us, though,' she murmured on a sad note. 'He's not going to be around for long enough for things to work out very well.'

'I'm sorry about that.'

She gave a vestige of a smile. 'Yes, well, that's the way it is.' Straightening, she went over to the reception counter and checked her list of patients for the morning. A few minutes later she went to her room, ready to start work.

Jack Hetherington, the patient with Crohn's disease, was first on her list.

'How are you, Jack?' she asked, a slight frown on her face as she watched him make his way carefully to the chair by her desk. He looked unsteady on his feet, and that wasn't a good sign.

'I feel a bit odd, to be perfectly honest,' he said. 'A bit wobbly on my legs and tingly...not quite myself.'

'I'd better take a look at you.' She examined him briefly, then asked him to sit down again. 'Do you think the tablets I gave you have helped at all?' she murmured.

'Oh, yes. They've calmed things down a lot. Do you think the rest of it is just side-effects?'

'I wouldn't have thought so,' she said, glancing at her computer screen and checking the notes there. 'We have your blood test results back from the lab, and they show that you're quite anaemic, so that might be something to do with it.'

'Is it because of my diet?'

'Possibly, though it could be a result of the Crohn's. I think we need to look at the results a little more closely, Jack...which means that we need to do more tests, I'm afraid.'

'More blood tests, do you mean?'

'I'm afraid so. We need to be certain what's causing the anaemia, so I'll write out another form for you to give to our nurse. She'll look after you, and perhaps you can come back again in about a week so that I can let you know the result.'

'OK,' he said, on a resigned note. At least it will help you sort out what's going on.'

'In the meantime,' she asked, 'do you need your prescription renewed?'

'If you wouldn't mind.'

She wrote out a prescription for more corticosteroids, and watched him leave the room a moment later. If her guess was correct, it might be a lack of a certain B vitamin which was causing his problem. They would just have to wait and see.

Around lunchtime, she went to Reception where Jeff was busy putting away a few patients' envelopes.

Bethany checked through the post that Anna had put to one side for her, and saw that Maureen Finch's test results were back from the hospital.

Jeff must have seen her frown. 'Problem?' he asked, but she shook her head.

'No, but Mrs Finch is going to have to have an operation. She thought she had a simple indigestion problem but she has gallstones apparently, and they'll need to be removed. There was some confusion over the initial diagnosis when she came here because she also has gastritis, which is stress-related. At least now we can get her properly sorted out.'

'I dare say she won't be too happy about a stay in hospital, but I'm sure she'll feel much better after treatment.'

'I'm sure she will. I'll give her a diet sheet so that she knows what foods to avoid to prevent any more stones forming.'

She put the paper to one side after a moment or two and said, 'Have we had any success finding the man that Connor is looking for...the patient with TB?'

'Not yet. Perhaps we'll be lucky, and there won't be a problem.'

The rest of the day went by quickly for Bethany, and she was glad about that. It helped to have something to do to keep her mind occupied, to keep her from dwelling on her mother's condition and from wondering how Sam was getting on with Meredith and Becky.

When she was ready to leave for home, she went to Reception and discovered that Connor was there. He was leaning negligently against the counter, his long legs crossed at the ankle as he idly studied the pictures on the walls in the waiting room.

When he saw her coming towards him he straightened up and let his gaze flick over her, his blue eyes dark and unreadable.

'Hello, Beth.'

'Connor... What are you doing here?' Seeing him standing there was almost too much for her. Her heart began to hammer in her chest, and there was a fluttery sensation starting up in her stomach.

'I thought maybe we could spend some time together. We haven't really been able to talk properly since your mother was hurt.'

'I suppose not.'

A muscle flicked in his jaw. 'How is she? Have there been any more developments?'

Bethany shook her head. 'There hasn't been any great change. I saw her at lunchtime today, and the nurses thought she was making a little progress, but it's very slow. I get the feeling that she's depressed, but at least she seems to be co-operating with the physiotherapists. They say that it will take time, possibly months, before she's truly fit again.'

Connor grimaced. 'I don't suppose she's been able to give you any idea of what happened?'

'No, she's not well enough to tell us, but when I tried talking to Sam about it, he did say something about there being another car, and that it was coming very fast. It's difficult to know exactly what happened because he's not able to explain it properly, and I have to go carefully with him for fear of upsetting him. As far as I can make out from what he said, the other car hit them and knocked them off the road.'

His eyes narrowed. 'I expect he must still be traumatised to some extent. How is he coping?'

'He's getting by well enough, I think. I'm still giving him lots of cuddles arid as much reassurance as I can— that's probably about all that I can do—but I think he needs to see his nanna and find out for himself that she's all right.'

Her voice broke a little, and she took a steadying breath before adding, 'I'm going to take him to see Mum as soon as she's a little better, but it's too soon to do that yet.'

'It was a terrible thing that happened. All you can do is take things one step at a time.' He frowned. 'What about the police? Has there been any word from them? Have they found out who was responsible?'

'No.' She chewed her lip. 'There's been nothing from the police.'

She heaved a sigh, then glanced down and saw that she was still holding a bundle of patients' case notes. Carefully she slid them into Anna's tray for filing, then said quietly, 'That's those dealt with for now, anyway.' She looked around distractedly for her bag.

'So, have you finished here for the day? I wondered whether you might be out on call but Anna told me you had a heavy list of appointments.'

'I think I'm all done for now,' she said quietly. 'There are some letters and queries I need to deal with, but I think I'll tackle them tomorrow when I feel more up to it.'

Connor was watching her closely, and she wondered whether he knew just how upset she was feeling. He probably understood exactly what she was going through right now. It was one thing to put on a professional face for the patients, but it wasn't so easy to hide her lack of defences from him.

'What did you plan on doing now?' he asked. 'Are you going straight home? Or do you have to pick up Sam from Meredith's?'

'No, she's going to drop him off later. She's taken the children out today, to visit a farm. It's a lovely little place, where the goats and pigs and hens wander about freely, and Sam's been excited about going to see it ever since she mentioned it. I'm sure it will help to take his mind off things.'

'Children adjust much more quickly than adults do, don't you think? You're worrying about him, but it's quite likely that he'll have pushed everything that happened to the back of his mind. I expect he'll have a great time at the farm, though I expect Meredith will have her hands full with two of them.'

She managed a faint smile. 'More than likely. It was good of her to help me out like this. I don't know what I would have done if she hadn't offered.'

'Knowing you, you'd have thought of something.' He sent her an oblique glance. 'Do you want to stop for a meal on the way home?'

She paused as she went to retrieve her jacket from its hanger. 'I'd like that, thank you. As long as I'm back in time for Sam.'

'I'll make sure that we are.'

They went to a small fish restaurant that had recently opened up on the sea front. It was a warm evening and they decided to sit on the paved terrace overlooking the beach.

'How's your job going?' she asked him while they waited for their order.

'Well enough, I suppose. I'm snowed under with work at the moment because everything was at sixes and sevens to begin with when I took over, and now we're in the middle of the holiday season so we're short-staffed. It means that I'm working all hours to pull everything together.'

She gave him a brief smile. 'I'm sure you'll get it all under control. You always do. You've never been one to let things slide and get out of hand. After all, work usually comes first with you, doesn't it...above all else?'

Perhaps there was a faint edge to her voice because his head went back at that and he asked cautiously, 'Does that bother you?'

'Bother me? Why should it?' He had always been the same, cutting through the vagaries of the system and streamlining it to suit himself. He knew where he was going, what he wanted. Hadn't he always known that? His work was his driving force.

'Do you think I should simply abandon everything I've worked for...throw my career aside? Is that what this is all about, this barrier that has sprung up between us?'

'I didn't say that. You do what you have to do. It's the way you are, I understand that.'

His blue eyes raked her features. 'Are you any different? Would you have walked away from here without a backward glance?'

'I don't know. I was born here, and over the years I've lived here I've grown to love the place.' Besides, he hadn't asked her to go with him, had he? She looked beyond the terrace to the beach and watched the waves roll in to shore and break on the sand in frothy ribbons of foam. It always made her feel calm and more at peace with herself to sit and watch the sea.

'More important than that,' she murmured, 'I've always wanted to stay close to my family—my parents, my sister and her family. I don't think that will ever change. There's a bond that shouldn't be broken. That's how I feel, anyway.'

'And now your mother needs you more than ever.'

'Yes, she does.' A shiver of unhappiness washed over her as she thought of her mother, helpless in a hospital bed.

Shaking off the image, she glanced at Connor and said tautly, 'You'll be moving to Cornwall eventually, won't you? How is the house-hunting going? Have you managed to find anything yet?'

He accepted her change of subject without comment. Perhaps he realised that she was still struggling to come to terms with everything that had happened.

'I have seen a place that I'm interested in, but it needs a fair bit of work doing on it, and I haven't quite made up my mind yet about it. It was once a farmhouse and there's a barn that needs some renovation work if it's to be used for anything. There's an orchard, too. It's all a bit too big for me, really—a family house, with several bedrooms and a large garden.'

He had a rueful expression. 'I would rattle about in it on my own, but something about it appealed to me straight away—the fact that it's close to open countryside, I suppose, among other things. Anyway, it would be an investment for the future, the way property prices are rising.'

Bethany didn't know how to react to what he was telling her. Part of her had been hoping and praying that he might change his mind and by some miracle find a reason to stay on in Devon, but it didn't look as though that was going to happen, did it?

'Perhaps you should go with your instincts,' she said huskily. 'What happens in the meantime? Do you think you're going to be with your parents for a while still?'

'I'll stay with them while this job lasts. And if I decide to buy the house I would probably wait until the renovations are complete before moving in. I wouldn't want to commute from Cornwall.'

'No, of course you wouldn't.' She dipped a fork into her scampi and salad, and then in spite of herself she couldn't clamp down the demons that prompted her to ask, 'What is the situation with Steph? Has she started her new job yet? I expect she'll be going through much the same upheaval as you are.'

'She started work at the hospital a couple of days ago. She's bought herself a flat, fairly close to the centre, and everything's a bit upside down at the moment. I drove her over there last week and helped her move in.'

'She'll be near to the hospital, then?'

'Yes. She'll be on call some of the time, so it will make life easier for her that way.'

'That makes sense.' None of it was news that gave her any comfort. If Connor had helped her to move in, it meant that Steph was involving him in her change of home, making him part of it almost, and it was more than likely that he would be seeing a lot more of her.

Steph was probably everything that the Broughtons would want in a wife for Connor. She was intelligent, skilled, ambitious...and beautiful, there was no getting away from it...and she had oodles of style. Her taste in clothes was perfect, and she had a wonderful sense of what was fashionable.

Bethany thought of her own wardrobe, and knew that she would never have that sense of chic. She could never compete on those grounds, on any grounds really, and in her heart she knew that there was no future for her with Connor.

She simply didn't fit in with his family and their lifestyle. She wasn't a go-getter, she was a country doctor, content with trying to help the people she had grown up with and looking on as their families blossomed.

Her own way of going on was too haphazard, and her emotions ruled her head far more often than was sensible. And Sam was her own special priority. His needs came above-everything else.

'She'll have appreciated your help,' she murmured.

'It must make life easier to have someone with you when you're trying to get organised.'

He seemed wryly amused by that. 'Steph's very clear about what she wants. I've never known anyone who is as organised as she is.' His expression sobered as he glanced at Bethany. 'Perhaps it's just as well that you're settled at the cottage and have no plans to move on just yet. Your mother will need you to be with her even more when she comes out of hospital, won't she?'

Bethany nodded and paused as the waiter brought them coffee. 'Anyway, Sam feels secure at the cottage. It's what he's always known, and he likes to know that his nanna is around.'

He frowned. 'Has he asked about how long she'll be in hospital? I know you said that it would be better if he could see her.'

'He asks about her, of course, but he doesn't really understand what's happening. Like you said, he's probably a lot more resilient than I imagine. I just keep telling him that Nanna needs to be looked after and that when she's better she'll be coming home to us.'

He stirred his coffee thoughtfully, then took a sip. 'It's probably a good idea that Meredith's taking him out and about just now. It will keep him occupied, and having another child around is bound to help.'

'That's true. He likes being with his cousin Becky. There aren't many children of his age for him to play with locally.'

'Does that worry you?'

Her green eyes clouded momentarily. Sam ought to have a proper family around him, but that wasn't likely, was it? She visualised a little brother or sister for him, and they both had Connor's dark hair and his challenging blue eyes.

She tried to shake the image away. 'It's just that I can't help feeling guilty that I'm not the one who is doing all these things with him all the time. I do what I can, of course, at the weekend, but it's not the same.'

'Don't most mothers feel like that if they work? It's something that can't really be helped, given the circumstances.' He flashed her a hooded look. 'You and I could take him out for the day, if you like, on Saturday or Sunday, whichever suits you best. I don't have anything planned for this weekend. Are you free to go out for the day?'

Her heart jumped at the thought of spending a good part of the weekend with Connor. It filled her with warmth and expectation, but all the same a part of her was cautious.

Why was he offering? 'Are you sure you want to do that?' she asked hesitantly. 'Anyway, I'm working on Saturday morning—we have an emergency surgery then—and I'll need to visit my mother before I go anywhere.'

'Sunday, then. We could go out after we've been to see her at the hospital.'

She sent him a quizzical look. 'Why are you doing this? I thought you weren't all that keen on children, yet here you are, offering to help out. Have you had a change of heart?'

'I just thought that maybe I could help you out. I know things have been difficult for you lately. Anyway,' he added with a frown, 'I don't remember saying that I don't like children.'

'You said once that other people's children were fine, because you could hand them back at the end of the day.' Her smile was edged with pain. Would he feel that way about Sam? Would he simply want to hand him back?

'Did I?' He looked at her guardedly. 'I'm surprised you would remember something like that, a throw-away remark.'

'I take most people at their word,' she murmured. 'For myself, I wouldn't be without Sam for the world. I love having him around. He's everything to me.'

She finished off her coffee, then glanced at her watch. 'I ought to be getting back, he'll be home soon.'

'OK. I'll just get the bill and we'll be on our way.'

He drove her back to the cottage, and she asked him hesitantly if he would like to come in.

He paused for a moment before answering. They were getting on better now than before, but this was a tentative new start for them. Perhaps he was taking that on board.

'I have some work to do that must be sorted out before morning,' he murmured. 'Some press releases I have to draft.'

'Oh, I see. Of course, you must get on with them.' Things had been shaky for a while after he'd come back, but now at least he was more relaxed and she felt as though she was getting to know him all over again.

He sent her a brief nod as he made to leave. 'I'll come and pick you and Sam up on Sunday morning. We'll go over to Lakeside Park and let him spend the afternoon on the adventure playground if you like.'

'I'm sure he'll love that.'

Despite her misgivings, she was buoyed up with the thought of seeing Connor again. No matter that she wasn't the love of his life, she was coming to realise that she needed to be with him like a plant needed water to thrive.

The weekend couldn't come quickly enough, and she and Sam were both ready and waiting when he came to collect them on Sunday morning.

Sam was excited and fidgety, looking forward to the day out. He was pale, though, and not very talkative, and Connor looked at him narrowly and said softly to Bethany, 'He doesn't seem to be quite himself, today. Is he feeling all right?'

'I'm not sure,' Bethany said with a small frown. 'I can't put my finger on what's wrong with him, but he hasn't been his usual self since yesterday, the day after his visit to the farm.'

'Did something happen? Didn't he enjoy the visit?'

'Oh, he had a wonderful time, from what he told me...except for falling over. Meredith said it had been raining before they went, and he fell face first into a muddy puddle. She and David fished him out in a flash, but I'm just hoping that he didn't swallow some of the water. Yuck!'

She winced. 'It certainly gave him something to think about. He's been telling me all about it ever since, but then he's had lots to say about the animals and what a good time he had.'

She glanced anxiously at Sam. He was playing with his shoe fastenings, getting ready to go out to the car and not taking any notice of what they were saying, except to look up at them when he heard the word 'puddle' mentioned.

'He could be going down with a virus of some sort, I suppose, but he's been really looking forward to today and I don't want to disappoint him by saying we can't go.'

'I wouldn't dream of letting him down,' Connor murmured. 'We'll keep an eye on him, and we won't let the little chap get too tired.' He smiled at Sam, adding, 'And we'll keep you away from puddles!'

'Are we going in my car or yours?' Bethany asked.

'There's more room in mine, if that's OK with you.'

She nodded. 'Then we'll need to transfer the child seat from mine. It won't take a minute to fix it in place.'

'I'll see to it. Give me your keys and I'll do it now while you finish getting Sam ready.'

They visited her mother at the hospital first of all, and Bethany was relieved to find that she looked much better. There was more colour in her face and she seemed much more alert than she had been before.

Her mother managed to hug Sam with her good arm, and Sam was overjoyed to see his grandmother again.

'You come home, Nanna?' he asked.

'S-soon,' her mother said, carefully trying out the word, and that was a triumph because it showed that she was learning to speak again.

It was a beautiful day. The sky was brilliantly blue with not a cloud in sight and the sun was dazzling when they arrived at the park. On the lake, there were pleasure craft exploring the far reaches of the water and Sam watched them, his eyes widening with anticipation.

'Me go in boat?' he asked, and Connor nodded.

'If you like.' They hired a row-boat, and Connor took over control of the oars and manoeuvred them towards the centre island, where herons and other water birds had made their home. Sam looked at everything with fascination, while Connor talked to him about the different kinds of birds and told him how they made their nests in reeds or hidden parts of the island.

Sam took it all in with a kind of wonder, and Connor watched him in turn, studying every nuance of expression, every childish gesture with a kind of hunger. Bethany hadn't expected that, and it made her feel all the more anxious about what she was doing to him. Was she right to deny him his child and put him through all this doubt and uncertainty? But the drawbacks in telling him the truth were still too great. He was still determined to take up his new job some distance away from them, and how could she subject Sam to the bewildering reality of an absentee father?

They stayed on the water for half an hour or so, then made their way along the path at the side of the lake to stand by a low wrought-iron fence. Ducks swam towards them and Sam ran about excitedly, squatting down every now and again to peer at them through the railings.

Connor gave him bread to throw to the birds, and Sam's face lit up as the hungry mallards pushed their way forward to gobble up the crumbs that he tossed to them.

'See that?' he exclaimed. 'They catched it!'

Connor chuckled. 'Brilliant. You're good at throwing, aren't you? See if you can help those ducks at the back get some.'

Looking for a better vantage point, Sam raced to a place in the fence where the railings had been bent, and Bethany hurried after him, stumbling over a roughened edge of the path in her haste. Connor caught her, his arm tightening around her.

'Careful,' he muttered. 'We don't want you twisting an ankle, do we?'

She stared into his eyes, which were as blue and as deep as the waters of the bay near her home, and the world suddenly stood still. There was no sound, not even that of her own breathing, and no drift of air to cool the clamour of the swift surge of blood that sizzled through her veins.

'Connor, I...'

'Beth?' His voice was roughened, his hold on her firmer than ever as he drew her closer to him.

Then Sam turned to look at them and screwed his eyes up as he said curiously to Connor, 'You cuddle my mummy?'

'Yes,' Connor said on a ragged breath. 'Is it all right if I do that?'

Sam gave that some serious thought for a moment, then nodded.

'Good,' Connor murmured, laughing softly now as he drew Bethany close and extinguished any scrap of space that might come between them. He bent his head just a fraction and sought her mouth, brushing her lips with his own. It was a feather-light touch, like the merest drift of gossamer, but it left a searing trail, a spark that threatened to ignite every single nerve ending she possessed.

Bethany could feel the taut, powerful length of his body pressuring hers, making her intensely aware of her own vulnerable, soft femininity. She looked up at him in dazed wonder and saw that there was flame darting in his blue eyes. Did he feel the same shaft of awareness that she did?

'I wouldn't want to disappoint Sam,' he murmured in a low drawl. 'He seems to like us getting close.'

She wasn't about to disagree. In truth, she wanted nothing more than to feel his lips on hers, and he obliged deliciously, kissing her again until her legs threatened to turn to jelly, and then he reluctantly dragged his mouth from hers and she drifted slowly back down to earth.

She wondered dazedly why he had ended that bone-melting kiss, but then she looked at Sam and saw that he was frowning. Clearly, his attention span was short-lived, and he thought kissing was a complete waste of time. He had also grown tired of looking at the ducks.

'Play sand,' he said, his eyes on the playground a few yards way across the grass.

Connor kept his arm around her, thankfully, because her head was still in the clouds and otherwise she might have fallen. He said idly, 'Wouldn't it be good if life was always so simple, with nothing to do but watch the wildlife and enjoy the sunshine?'

'It would be heavenly,' she breathed, but she was thinking that life would be everything she wanted if only Connor could be always at her side. That kiss had stirred emotions in her that she hardly dared acknowledge. It gave her hope, made her wonder if maybe things didn't have to end after all. He still wanted her, even knowing that she had a child, that the child might not be his.

She cut off the flight of fancy abruptly before her longings could take root.

Sam started off along the path towards the sandpit.

Bethany made an effort to pull herself together. 'You can go in the sand in a little while,' she told Sam. 'I think you ought to have something to eat first.'

Sam shook his head. 'No want eat.'

In the end they compromised, and Bethany and Connor sat at a picnic table eating lunch while Sam played in the sandpit near by.

'He didn't eat breakfast,' she said, a small frown furrowing her brow. 'I'd have expected him to be really hungry by now.'

Connor was watching him busily fill a bucket with sand. 'He did tell me he had tummyache earlier, and he's beginning to look a bit feverish,' he said, 'though it could be just the heat and the excitement. You'll perhaps need to keep an eye on him for the next day or so.'

She nodded, beginning to feel concerned. It wasn't like Sam to be off his food for this length of time, and he was definitely beginning to look off colour.

The day came to an end all too quickly. Sam was growing tired by the end of the afternoon, becoming restless and fretful and unusually out of sorts.

'He's had enough for one day, poor little chap,' Connor murmured, lifting him up on to his shoulders and carrying him back to the car. Sam thought that was wonderful, holding onto Connor's head and objecting strongly to being gently lowered into his car seat a few minutes later.

They arrived back at the cottage as the sun was lowering in the sky. 'It was a great day out, wasn't it?' Connor murmured. 'I wish there could be a lot more of them.'

'Won't there be?' Bethany said the words on a wisp of air. She dearly wanted to spend a lot more time with him.

He gave a faint grimace. 'It's beginning to look as though I shall only be here for three or four more weeks.'

She felt all her new found happiness drain away. 'That soon?' Disappointment washed through her like a tide of ice water. 'I hadn't realised... Somehow, I thought you would be here for longer.'

'The man I'm replacing has said that he's feeling stronger than he was and now he wants to try to come back to work. Myself, I don't think he'll be well enough to cope, but apparently he has always been one to push himself to the limit. That's probably why he had the heart attack in the first place.'

'Does this mean that you'll be moving to Cornwall sooner than you initially expected to?'

'I think so. The department there is undergoing reorganisation, and things are in a bit of a state of upheaval at the moment. They will probably be glad of someone to take over as soon as possible.'

It was a blow, hearing the news, and for a few moments Bethany struggled to take it in. She had got used to having him around, and the knowledge that he might be leaving in just a few short weeks had come as a dreadful shock.

CHAPTER SEVEN

Bethany was almost glad to be back at work on Monday morning. Having to concentrate on her patients gave her less time to think about how she would miss Connor, but by then she had other things on her mind because Sam was also giving her cause for concern.

She took him to her sister's house and told Meredith, 'He had a tummy upset in the night, and I was in two minds whether to go to work today. He wanted to come here, though. He wanted to see Becky, and I thought that might cheer him up.'

'Don't worry, I'll take care of him,' Merry said. 'Actually, I was planning on taking both of them to the park for a picnic lunch today, so I'll see how it goes. He may be feeling better by then. You know how these things are with children—they're down one minute, up the next.'

'That's true enough.' Bethany nodded, but nibbled pensively at her lip, then said, 'If he doesn't improve at all today, though, or if he seems to be getting worse, give me a ring and I'll come straight home.'

Jack Hetherington was also feeling under the weather, she found when she arrived at the surgery a short time later. He came into her room, and she scanned his pale face, noting that he was still having some slight difficulty with his balance.

She said cautiously, 'From the looks of things, you're feeling the effects of the anaemia.'

'I've been feeling a bit breathless,' he said wearily. 'Is that another sign of anaemia, or have I got something dreadfully wrong with me?'

'I believe that it's all part and parcel of the Crohn's disease,' she told him. 'You've been losing weight again, too, our nurse told me.'

He pulled a face. 'I have been trying to eat properly, especially since the flare-up calmed down.'

'I'm sure you have,' she agreed sympathetically. 'I think it's time that we sent you to see the consultant again, so that he can have a look at you and decide on a course of action.'

'I don't suppose he'll tell me very much that's different from what you have to tell me,' Jack said frankly. 'I should imagine I know almost as much about Crohn's as he does. I've suffered from it long enough.'

He said it with a rueful expression, and Bethany laughed. 'I know what you mean. You get to know about the vagaries of your illness, don't you, after a while?'

He nodded. 'So, what's to do? What treatment do you think he'll decide on?'

'I think it's possible that with all the inflammation you've had over a period of time, you could have been missing out on essential nutrients, and that's what's led to your developing anaemia.'

She read the notes on her computer screen. 'According to your latest test results, you could be deficient in vitamin B12 and folic acid, so it's possible that the consultant will advise a course of vitamin injections and folic acid tablets.'

'So it shouldn't be too long before I'm feeling more on top of things?' he asked.

'Let's hope so,' she said with a smile. 'I'll ring the hospital and ask if the consultant will see you in the next few days.'

'Thanks.' He left the room looking much brighter than when he'd come in.

At lunchtime, Bethany phoned Meredith to see how Sam was doing, but there was no answer and she assumed that her sister must have taken the children out as she'd planned.

She made a quick visit to the hospital to check up on her mother, grabbed a sandwich for lunch and then started her early afternoon clinic, checking up on the heart patients on her list.

She had just seen the last cardiac case of the afternoon and was planning on having a quick coffee before starting the late afternoon appointments when Anna told her that there was a phone call from Meredith.

'Bethany, I'm worried about Sam,' Meredith said hurriedly. 'We went to the park, but he didn't want to eat and he's been complaining of pains in his tummy and a headache. I thought it was a simple case of sickness and diarrhoea, but he doesn't look very well at all. His skin has an odd yellow tinge and he seems to be going downhill very fast. Can you come home?'

Bethany's pulse quickened in alarm. 'I'll come straight away. Is Becky all right? She's not showing signs of coming down with anything, is she?'

'She's fine, her usual self.'

It didn't sound as if there was a bug going around, and that worried Bethany even more. She had been hoping that it was just a simple case of gastroenteritis, but now she wasn't so sure. She grabbed her bag and jacket, and stopped only to ask Anna to arrange locum cover before speeding off to be with Sam.

When she reached Meredith's house and saw him, she was shocked. He looked terrible. His breathing was shallow and he looked jaundiced, and he was barely responding to her quiet words. She stroked his head gently and kissed him on his forehead, frightened by the change in him.

'I did right to call you, didn't I?' Meredith said; looking worried. 'He seems to have got much worse just in this last half-hour.'

'Yes,' Bethany said shakily. 'He does look very ill. 1 think I'm going to take him to the hospital right away. I'll call and tell them that I'm bringing him in.'

'What's wrong with him?' Meredith asked anxiously. 'Can it be anything to do with the visit to the farm the other day? I shall feel just awful about that if it's anything I've done. Could he have picked up a germ of some sort when he fell? He just tripped and tumbled and we picked him up as quickly as we could and tried to clean him up.'

'It wasn't your fault. You mustn't blame yourself. Children have accidents all the time.'

'But I've been reading about infections from animals, and there were goats and pigs and all sorts running about on the farm. I just feel terrible to think that I might have had a hand in causing this.'

'You couldn't have stopped it from happening,' Bethany told her, trying to soothe Meredith while all the time her own panic was rising in her throat. 'What we have to do now is to get him to hospital, so that they can do tests and find out exactly what's wrong.'

She drove him to the hospital herself, deciding that it would be quicker that way. As soon as she arrived there, a doctor and nurse came to meet her and between them they quickly transferred him to a trolley and whisked him away.

Bethany felt tears sting her eyes. He looked so small and vulnerable. How could this be happening? How could her little boy be so ill, so helpless, while she had to stand by unable to do anything? It was an unbearable situation.

A nurse came out of the room a few minutes later, and Bethany said quickly, 'Is there any news? Can I see him?'

'There's no news yet, I'm afraid,' the nurse said. 'I promise I'll let you know anything there is to know as soon as I can. Why don't you go and sit in the waiting room? You'll be more comfortable in there.'

Bethany found the room and paced the floor, knowing that they would wait for the results of blood and urine tests before they could tell Her anything at all. The waiting seemed endless. She was dreading what they might say, and couldn't imagine what she would do if they wouldn't let her see him soon.

She would have to stay calm and collected, and let them know that she was in command of herself, that she could cope.

The door to the waiting room creaked open, and she looked up, steeling herself to take on board whatever she might be about to hear. She had to stay strong if she was to help Sam, and she would do anything if it would make him well again.

Then she saw that it was Connor who had come into the room, and she felt overwhelmingly glad to see his familiar figure, so tall and strong and infinitely dear to her. She rushed over to him, despair flooding her eyes.

Without a word he put his arms around her and held her tight, stroking her hair and folding her to him. She sensed the tension in him, and as she quietly cried against his chest he muttered words that she didn't hear against the silky fall of her hair.

After a while, she looked up at him and wiped away the tears that trickled down her face. 'I'm so glad you're here,' she said huskily. 'How did you know to come to me?'

'Meredith phoned me,' he said in a taut undertone. 'She thought you might need someone to talk to and she couldn't come herself because of having to stay at home with Becky, and Martin was out on an emergency call.' There were lines of strain around his eyes. 'Have they told you anything yet?'

'Not yet. They're still doing tests, and they won't let me see him. He's so tiny, Connor—it isn't fair that he should have to go through all this.' She started to cry all over again and he held her close to him once more, drawing her head against his chest.

After a while, they went and sat down, and she leaned against him still, absorbing the warmth and solid strength of his arms around her. He was her rock, her refuge, and she began to feel that while he was there with her there was always hope.

Some time later the doctor came to find her and she got to her feet and straightened her shoulders, looking at him with frightened eyes.

'Is he all right?'

'I want you to know that we're making Sam as comfortable as we can,' the doctor said quietly. 'He's very poorly, as you know. Unfortunately, the tests show that he has a nasty infection that is putting a big strain on his kidneys, and we feel that we should put him on dialysis right away to help him along.'

Bethany felt all the colour leave her face, and she was conscious of Connor coming to stand by her side, of the way his body tautened, of the way he listened with raw intensity to every word that was said.

The doctor paused for a moment in order for her to take on board what he had been saying, then added, 'His blood pressure is very high, and that's also giving us cause for concern. We're worried that if it's left untreated it could cause him to start having seizures so we're giving him drugs to lower it.'

Bethany's legs suddenly felt very weak and she reached behind her for a seat. Connor stared at the doctor, his jaw set in a rigid line.

'Are you all right, Dr Vaughan?' the doctor said with a frown.

'Yes, I'm all right,' she answered him in a voice that was barely above a whisper. 'I just need a minute to take it all in. This has come as such a shock. He's gone downhill so suddenly.'

'I know how hard it is to take it all in,' he said, 'and it's good that you have someone with you.' He glanced at Connor, then sat down next to her and said carefully, 'It will take some time before we know how Sam will respond to treatment.'

She nodded. 'I know that. I understand.'

He paused, as though he was searching for the right words. 'Sometimes, as you know, this type of infection can damage red blood cells and cause anaemia. If his condition worsens, it might be that we have to give Sam a blood transfusion.' He waited a moment, then added, 'Since we've found that Sam has a relatively rare blood type, it would be helpful for us to know if either you or his father has the same blood group as him.'

Bethany's face must have lost every bit of its colour by now. She felt as though every ounce of strength had drained from her and she was finding it impossible to answer him just then.

Her mouth and throat were suddenly intensely, shatteringly dry. Her own blood group was a common O-positive, and that meant that Connor might be the only one who could help Sam. He, too, had a rare blood group. The thought slammed home with all the force of a driving gale.

'Beth...?' Her name slashed harshly through the silence. Connor was watching her, never taking his eyes from her face. Had that thought occurred to him, too?

If only it didn't have to be like this. She passed the tip of her tongue over her dry lips and looked up at the doctor.

'Would... would you mind giving us a few minutes on our own? I really need to talk to Dr Broughton.'

'Of course. Come and find me as soon as you're ready. Just ask Sister to page me.'

He went out of the room, and Bethany pressed her lips together in an awkward, trembling movement.

Connor was frowning darkly. 'What is it you want to say to me, Beth?' His voice rasped edgily as he stood, facing her, waiting. 'Why did you send the doctor away?'

She dragged her gaze to his face and almost quavered at his grim expression. 'Because...because there's something I have to tell you.' She faltered. 'I should have told you before, I know that, but...'

'But what?' He sounded terse. 'I haven't yet learned to read your mind, so hadn't you better spit it out?'

She hesitated, looking at him with troubled eyes. 'This is really difficult for me... Perhaps it was wrong of me to keep it from you, but you have to know...' She pulled in a deep, shaky breath.

'What do I have to know?'

'You were right to question me at the beginning about Sam's birth. You had your doubts all along, and with good reason.' She swallowed,, trying to ease the constriction in her throat. 'The truth is, you are Sam's father.' The words came out on a thread of sound.

It was finally done...and there was no going back now. Anxiously, she waited for a response from him, willing him to understand and hoping that somehow he might find it in him to forgive her for what she had done.

His head went back as though she had hit him. 'I'm his father?' he said on a disbelieving note. He stared at her, his mouth making a taut, slashing line. 'How can that be? You told me that Martin was the one...'

She shook her head. 'No...no, I never actually said that. I never lied to you—it was just that, after a while, you began to believe that was the way things were.'

His eyes narrowed, glittering dangerously. 'Because you implied it.' He fired the words at her in an undertone of heated outrage, searing her to the core. 'Because that was what you wanted me to believe. You even suggested that Sam looks like him, that Martin had always been there from the beginning.'

'I...I know...' She hardly dared look at him. Anger was surging in him like pressure in volcanic cone, she could feel it throbbing in the air between them, and any moment now she was sure that it would erupt in a , blistering cascade. 'I'm sorry,' she said huskily. 'I'm sorry that I had to deceive you that way, but I didn't know what else to do... It was easier to let you think that Martin was his father... It made things less complicated, less liable to cause problems for Sam.'

'For yourself, you mean.' It was an indictment of burning censure. 'I'm his father and you say perhaps it was wrong of you to keep it from me?' He slanted her a look of pure dislike. 'Perhaps? Are you totally incapable of understanding what you've done?'

He glared at her, his eyes intensely blue, his mouth an angry, hard line. 'How many times did I ask you if I was Sam's father, and how many times did you tell me I had no right to ask? Only now do you condescend to tell me—now, when you have no choice.' He vented the words in a searing lava flow, as though he would pour all his bitter resentment and frustration over her head.

'I'm...I'm sorry.' She pressed her lips together to stop them from trembling.

'No,' he grated. 'Don't you dare say that to me. You don't begin to know the meaning of the word.'

He towered over her, wrath smouldering in his eyes. 'As soon as I saw Sam, I asked myself whether I might be his father, but you wouldn't admit it to me, not then, not as the weeks went by, and I couldn't understand why. You put doubts in my mind, and I had to watch him and wonder. You kept it from me from the moment you knew you were pregnant. For over three years you said nothing...not a single word.'

His anger spilled over in a molten tide of bitter recrimination. 'Now I find that I have a son after all—a son who, if things had been different, might have died without me ever knowing of his existence.'

He turned abruptly and she thought for a terrible moment that he was going to slam his clenched fist into the wall. Instead, with a supreme effort of control, he strode towards the door without a backward glance.

She ran after him. 'Connor, wait... Please, you have to listen, you have to understand...' She reached out and laid a hand on his arm, curling her fingers into the fabric of his jacket sleeve, desperate for him to turn around. He shrugged off the hand.

'How could I have told you?' she asked urgently. 'How would it have helped for you to know? Your contract was for three years and there was no way you would have been able to come back without losing everything that you'd been working for.'

'Don't you think that was for me to decide?' he bit out savagely. 'You were carrying my child and yet you decided to keep it from me and leave me in total ignorance. Didn't it even cross your mind that he was mine every bit as much as he was yours?'

'I didn't know what to do,' she said, distressed. 'You were halfway across the world, and I couldn't see how it would help either of us to have you come back and find out that one mistake, one night that should never have happened, had made you a father.'

He glared at her as though he would have liked to have struck out at her, and she staggered under the whiplash of that stare. She had never seen him so angry, as though it was taking all he had to keep the lid on his self-control.

'You had no intention of telling me the truth when I did come back, did you? You've had plenty of opportunity to tell me and yet still you tried to keep it from me. You were never voluntarily going to let me know that I have a son, were you? I would have gone away again without ever being certain about what was the truth.'

Distraught, she stared up at him. 'You...you said you weren't ready for a family.. .that you had too much to do to get to where you wanted to be. How could that be any good for Sam? He needs a father who can spend time with him and love him.'

He sent her a furious glance, as though he despised her, and she flinched under the lancing intensity of that dark, withering gaze.

'He's my son,' he bit out. 'I had every right to decide what I wanted to do about that.'

Connor's anger was making her nervous. She had known he would be shocked to find out the truth, but she had never in her worst nightmare bargained for this kind of reaction.

'Maybe I was wrong in what I did,' she said shakily, 'but I was trying to protect Sam. Can't you see that? I didn't want him messed about. I didn't want him constantly wondering where his father was and why he wasn't in his life. I...I'm sorry. I really thought it was better this way.'

'It wasn't ever going to be better this way,' he said grimly. He leaned towards her, his whole body a dark threat. 'I won't forget this. You have a lot to answer for.'

Bethany saw the moment when the glittering blue stare turned to something that she didn't recognise. Something cold and distant. He said in a tone that was deathly chilling, 'You'll come to rue the day you tried to keep my son from me.' He strode towards the door and flung it open.

'Where are you going?' she asked unsteadily.

'Why should it matter to you where I'm going or what I'm doing?' he said harshly. 'Haven't you just shown me that with you it's out of sight, out of mind?

You only told me about Sam because you had to, because you couldn't see any way out of it. My child is lying in a hospital bed, and you didn't even let me know. You left it to Meredith to tell me.' He scowled darkly. 'I have nothing left to say to you.'

He slammed out of the room and left her staring at the blank green door. She stood in the dreary hospital waiting room, totally alone, utterly bereft, and the tears that were just a blink away finally spilled over and ran down her cheeks in rivulets of despair.

It was some time before she pulled herself together enough to go and face the rest of the world. She went to the wash-room and tidied herself up and then hurried to the intensive care ward where Sam was being monitored by a team of dedicated nurses.

Sam was out of it, hooked up to the dialysis machine and various monitors, not responding to her gentle touch on his cheek, not stirring when she took his small hand in hers. She bit back the fear that rose up in her throat and told herself that she would stay strong for him. She wasn't ever going to let him down.

'I want to stay here with Sam,' she told the sister in charge. 'I'm going to phone my sister and ask her to bring some clothes and things in for me, and I'll stay with Sam until he's well again.'

'Of course you can do that,' the sister answered gently. 'We'll find you somewhere to sleep, and I'm sure Sam will be happy to know that you're here when he wakes up.'

Bethany spoke to the consultant who was caring for Sam and asked him whether there would be a problem over finding a compatible blood donor for her son.

'There shouldn't be any difficulty,' he told her. 'Dr Broughton was in a hurry, but he said that he believed his blood would be compatible and he let us take some there and then. He said he would come back and give more if we needed it.'

He gave her a faint smile. 'Of course, we hope that a transfusion won't become necessary.'

Thank heaven. She felt a rush of relief with that knowledge. Despite his anger, Connor had taken the time to give blood. No matter what his feelings were towards Bethany, he wasn't going to take it out on his child.

She went back to Sam's bedside.

It was heart-rending to stand by and be unable to do anything for Sam except to tenderly wipe his face and stroke his silky hair. She held his hand and read to him from his favourite storybooks even though he was probably too ill to take it in.

Time passed in a blur. Connor came and went. She hadn't seen him to talk to him since he had walked out on her, but she discovered that he had taken to visiting Sam whenever she wasn't around. He had probably checked with the nursing staff to find out when she went to eat or visit her mother in the stroke unit so that he didn't have to see her.

It was heartbreaking, and she only had herself to blame. The three people she cared most about in all the world were out of reach one way or another, and she had never felt more alone in her life.

CHAPTER EIGHT

'I haven't seen Sam for a while,' Sarah said in a halting tone, her words slurring a little at the edges.

She was sitting in a chair by the side of her bed in the stroke unit, and Bethany debated what she ought to tell her. Her mother was making headway with her speech, but she was still having some difficulty with her arm and her walking was a bit unsteady, and the last thing she wanted to do was upset her progress with news about Sam.

'I'll bring him to see you as soon as I can, Mum,' she told her, hoping that she wouldn't ask too many questions on that score. 'I don't want to tire you, and children get restless on the ward, don't they?'

'That's true.' Her mother looked sad. 'I miss him.'

'I know you do.' Bethany swallowed a lump in her throat and leaned forward and gave her a hug. 'You're so much better than you were, though. I'm sure it won't be too long before you're back home.'

'The doctor wants to see my walking get better,' Sarah said. 'I practise every day, but it takes a lot of effort.'

'You're doing very well,' Bethany said, giving her an encouraging smile. 'The physiotherapist is really pleased with you.'

It was probably her mother's determination to get out of hospital and be with her and Sam again which had been the major factor in her recovery so far, the physiotherapist had said. Her mother had done everything and more that they asked of her, and it was good news because every bit of improvement in the first few months was a real plus. The longer it took for a stroke patient to get back on her feet, the less chance there was of any radical improvement.

Bethany went back to Sam's bedside as soon as she had left her mother. It hurt her to see him looking so very ill. The infection had caused damage to the lining of small blood vessels in his kidneys, giving rise to small blood clots, and as a result of that his red blood cells had broken down and he had become anaemic, as predicted.

'We'll give him a transfusion of red blood cells,' the consultant told her, 'and we'll keep him on dialysis until his kidneys have recovered.' He added gently, 'You know, the outlook for children with this syndrome—haemolytic-uraemic syndrome—is much better than it is for adults with the same illness.'

Bethany did know that, but this was her child and, with Sam looking so small and helpless, it was hard for her to take that on board. It was difficult for her, too, being a doctor herself, knowing what the complications could be, knowing that in the worst cases patients sometimes had to stay on dialysis in the long term.

Martin came to the hospital to be with her that evening and offer support, and she was more than glad of his company. She needed someone to talk to, someone in whom she could confide her worries, and he was very willing to listen.

'How are things at the surgery?' she asked him. 'Are you coping?'

'We're doing fine. It isn't the same, of course, without you there, but we've managed to get a locum in to cover for you. Things seem to be going all right, so you don't need to worry.'

'I'm glad I didn't leave you in too much of a mess.'

'Can I get you anything?' he asked, after a while. 'Coffee, tea, something to eat?'

She shook her head. 'I usually go and get something around this time of the day, but I grabbed a sandwich while I was with my mother. I didn't want to be away from Sam for too long.'

He sat beside her and put an arm around her shoulders. 'It's a long day for you. Are you managing to get some sleep?'

'A little. I generally doze, rather than sleep. I want to be here with him if he wakes up or in case there's any change.'

Sam stirred and mumbled just then, and she leaned over and took his hand in hers, gently stroking her thumb across his soft skin and murmuring soothing words until he settled again. Watching him as he slept, she tried to relax a little. He would get better. He had to. She couldn't bear it if he didn't.

There was a sound behind them, and Bethany looked around to see that Connor had come into the room. His presence there startled her, and for a moment her heart seemed to stand still, nervousness constricting her throat.

His mouth tightened as his glance settled on Martin, but then he ignored him and said tautly to Bethany, 'Has there been any change?'

'Not yet,' she managed softly.

Martin stood up. 'I'll leave you two to talk,' he muttered, and went before she had time to get herself together.

Connor stared down at Sam, and she could see the raw pain in his eyes, almost feel the ragged edge of frustration as he watched Sam's still form huddled under the light covers.

'When he comes through this,' he said heavily, 'I want my rights as his father taken into account. He's my child and I will be a part of his life and have a say in what happens to him. I'm not going to stand by and watch another man take my place.'

'No one is taking your place,' she said on a faint breath of sound. 'Martin was just here as a Mend. He wouldn't do anything to stand in your way.'

Connor gave a harsh laugh. 'Believe me, he won't get the chance. If I have to, I'll take this to court to make sure that I'm recognised as Sam's father. I'm going to be there for him from how on, whether you like it or not.'

His words filled her with dread. What did he mean by asserting his rights? Was he planning to take Sam away from her? Panic swirled through her like an icy blast of wind. Surely he couldn't do that?

His family was influential, though, and if he carried out his threat and took it to court, she would have a nasty fight on her hands. With his parents' backing, he just might win a whole lot more than she wanted to give. He was going to live and work in Cornwall— where did that leave her and Sam? Could Connor take Sam away from her for weeks at a time?

'Have you—have you told your parents about Sam?'

'Not yet.' His eyes bored into her like flint, splintering what small scrap of confidence she possessed. 'Just as soon as he's well again, I shall tell them that they have a grandson.'

Knowing Connor, she could guess his reason for waiting, and that, too, was like a crushing weight bearing down on her. While there was a possibility that Sam wouldn't pull through this, he would spare his parents the knowledge that they had a grandchild. It would be too cruel to tell them the truth about Sam and then have their hopes and dreams dashed. Connor wouldn't knowingly hurt them.

He stayed by Sam's bedside for a long time, but there was no softening in his attitude towards her. She thought he might even have forgotten that she was there.

Some days later, as she looked down at Sam, she thought she could see a change in him. He was pale, but the yellow tinge seemed to be much less than it had been, and she went in search of the nurses and asked to see the consultant.

'I think you're right,' he told her. 'There does seem to be some improvement. If he keeps this up, we might be able to take him off dialysis in a day or so.'

Bethany hadn't realised how tightly she'd been holding her breath when he'd spoken to her, but now she let the air out of her lungs in a soft sigh.

Three days later, Sam was freed from the life-saving tubes and drips and was sleeping peacefully, still pale but no longer jaundiced.

Bethany phoned Connor at work the next morning and told him the news. 'The consultant has just been in to see him, and he thinks he'll be up and about in a couple of days,' she said. 'He could be at home by the weekend.'

Connor didn't answer straight away, but she heard his quickly indrawn breath and knew in her heart that he felt the same sense of joyous relief that she did.

'I'll come over,' he said.

Sam woke up a short time later and rubbed his eyes with his knuckles as Bethany lightly stroked his cheek.

'Where teddy?' he mumbled, and she tucked his battered teddy bear into the crook of his arm.

'Here he is, sweetheart,' she murmured. 'He's been here all the time.'

Sam smiled wearily, put his thumb in his mouth and curled up, snuggled against the bear, his eyes closing as he drifted back into a doze.

Connor walked into the room some fifteen minutes later, and Bethany realised that he must have dropped everything and driven straight to the hospital.

Her eyes widened. 'I wasn't expecting you to come right away.'

'I couldn't wait to see for myself.'

Sam woke properly when he heard the sound of their voices, and immediately tried to scramble out of bed.

'Not so fast, tiger,' Connor said, bending over him and scooping him up. 'You might be a bit wobbly on your legs to begin with. You've been in bed for quite a while. Take it slowly.'

He lifted him up and carried him over to the corner of the room where there was a play mat with a wooden train set and a box of cars. Sam must have thought he was in toy heaven when Connor sat him down in the middle of the mat and Bethany showed him how to build the train track in a figure of eight.

'Me do it,' he demanded, reaching for a bright red carriage and setting it on the track. It crashed into a blue engine and his eyes widened. 'See that?'

Connor leaned forward and showed him how to join the carriages together and shunt them over the little wooden bridge. Sam chuckled gleefully and took over, whizzing the train towards the station.

Bethany watched him, her heart so full up with love that she thought it would burst.

Connor glanced at her and said quietly, 'It's hard to believe that he's been so ill, isn't it, looking at him now?'

She nodded, unable to speak for a moment. 'I've been so afraid,' she whispered. 'It has been so difficult to sit and watch him and not know how things would turn out.'

Sam tired after a while, as they expected. It was still early days, and Bethany helped him back into bed and read to him until his eyelids began to droop heavily. She was conscious all the while of Connor watching her.

When she was satisfied that he was deeply asleep, she moved away from the bedside and sent Connor a cautious glance. 'Have you decided when you're going to tell your parents about him?' she asked quietly.

'This evening, I think, after work. I'll be able to spend some time with them then, hopefully with no interruptions, and we can talk things through.'

He glanced at his watch and became brisk once more. 'I ought to be getting back. I was in the middle of a meeting when you called, and I need to go and sort things out. We still haven't been able to find the man with suspected TB, and there's been another case confirmed in the Midlands. I have to get my team out to follow up the few new leads we have.'

She hadn't really expected him to stay and talk, but she had hoped that he might, and now she was feeling sadly let down. He left without saying anything more, and she sat and thought about things for a while before she went over to the stroke unit to visit her mother.

Sam was still sleeping and wouldn't miss her for a while.

The next afternoon, she phoned Connor's mother at the hospital where she worked. She wasn't sure of the reception she would get, but she wanted to tentatively invite his parents to come over to the cottage to see Sam when he was home again.

Helen listened to what she had to say, and her voice was strangely muffled when she finally answered. It took Bethany a moment to realise that she was probably fighting back tears.

'I'll tell my husband,' Helen said. 'We would like to come and see Sam.'

They came on the following weekend, when Sam had been home for a few days. He was a bit overawed at seeing two strangers, Bethany thought, but Connor had come with them, and that helped Sam, to get used to them being there. After a while he forgot all about them.

'It was thoughtful of you to invite my parents to come over,' Connor said in an undertone. 'They were in a difficult situation, and by phoning and talking to my mother you at least made life a bit easier for them.'

'I wasn't sure what to do,' Bethany confessed. 'It must have come as a real shock to them to find out that they had a grandson they had never seen. They probably have a lot of questions that they want to ask, and I thought it might break the ice.'

'It's a pity you didn't think about doing that three years ago,' he said curtly. 'You might have saved a lot of pain all round.'

She flinched at the sharpness of his words. The rebuke had been deserved, given everything that had happened, but it only made her feel all the more wretched and at odds with the situation, and to cover her dismay she went into the kitchen and busied herself making coffee.

When she came back into the living room, Sam had set out his toy soldiers on a rampart built of plastic bricks and was taking pot shots at them with a toy rifle, adding sound effects as he went along.

Bethany set the coffee-pot down on a table and handed around nibbles, but nobody was paying much attention. Connor's father seemed to be stunned, not taking his eyes off Sam, and when the fort collapsed because of Sam's over-enthusiastic shots, Helen got down on her knees and helped him to rebuild it.

She watched them, feeling a terrible sadness and overwhelming guilt for what she had done in keeping him from them. How could she have known they would react like this, as though he was the most precious thing in their lives?

Bethany realised that she was still holding the plate of food, and now she set it down on the table once more. Connor came over and reached for a sandwich and their hands brushed accidentally. His mouth stilled in sudden shock and Bethany jerked back as if she'd been stung, knocking a cup so that it rolled onto its side. The touch of his fingers stayed with her, though, a throbbing reminder that his nearness would always be her undoing.

'You startled me,' she said huskily, disturbed by her clumsiness. She put a hand on the cup to stop it from rolling. 'It doesn't look as though it's damaged, thank goodness. It's one of Mum's favourite china pieces.'

Her heart was the casualty here, though, wasn't it? Connor had always been the one steadfast element in her life until he'd gone away, and now that relationship was well and truly shattered. She bit her lip to stop it from trembling.

He watched her with narrowed eyes as she set the cup straight with shaking fingers. 'Have you thought any more about what I said to you the other day?' he asked in an undertone. 'About me being part of Sam's life?'

'O-of course,' she said weakly. 'I suppose it depends exactly what you have in mind.'

'I want to spend more time with him from now on.' He looked at her steadily. 'I want him to know that I'm his father and that means that at some point he should be told the truth. It isn't right that he should think I'm just a visitor in his life.'

For some time now, she had been expecting him to say that. She nodded and said carefully, 'We'll have to pick the right moment to tell him. I need to be able to prepare him for the news.'

'Yes, of course. It doesn't have to be done straight away...but soon, though. I would like to take him out on my next free weekend, and as part of that outing he can visit with my parents at home.'

She had to unglue her tongue from the roof of her mouth before she could speak. He wasn't including her in any of those plans, was he? 'He's only just come out of hospital,' she said coolly. 'It's too soon for him to be going here, there and everywhere.'

His glance was scathing. 'Do you think I don't know that? I'm a doctor, too. You don't have a monopoly on common sense. I wasn't intending to take him on a grand tour.'

She almost winced, but she wasn't going to back down. If Sam went anywhere, it would be under her supervision. She wasn't at all sure what Connor had in mind for the future, but it wasn't the time to go into it while his parents were around.

Anyway, whatever happened, she wasn't taking any chances that he might whisk her child away from under her nose. She opened her mouth to tell him that, but his father interrupted them before their skirmish could develop into anything more.

'Sam is a lovely child, Beth,' Donald said quietly. 'I had no idea how I would feel when I saw him face to face, but it has been a profound experience. I'm really glad that we were able to come and see him today. It felt strange, and unreal, knowing that I have a grandson, but now that I've seen him I'm finding it quite overwhelming.'

They left a short time after that, and Bethany tucked Sam up in bed, softly kissing his cheek, and wondered whether she would ever feel secure again.

'Dat man come 'gain?' Sam murmured, his eyes drowsy with sleep as he settled back against his pillow.

'Which man? Do you mean Connor? The man who took us to the park?'

He nodded.

'Would you like him to come here again?' she asked.

'Yes. Me like him. He buy me rabbit.'

Tenderly she stroked his hair. 'He did. So now you have teddy and rabbit to snuggle up with, don't you?'

He gave her a satisfied smile and closed his eyes, drifting contentedly into slumber. Bethany watched him, and sat with him for a few minutes more until she was sure he was asleep. She had come so very close to losing him. He was the most precious thing in her life and his happiness was everything to her.

* * *

A week later, when she was sure that Sam was back to his old self, she went back to work. The agreement was that she would do fewer hours at the surgery than before, easing herself back into it, so that she could spend more time with Sam.

'We've managed to find a doctor who can cover the afternoon appointments and clinics for us,' Jeff said. 'She's married with a young family, and she's looking to get back to work now that her children have started school. She seems a very capable person.'

'I'm glad. I didn't want to cause you any more problems.'

'You haven't. Don't worry about it. It's all worked out well enough in the end.'

Jeff and Martin were being supportive, and Bethany felt much happier about getting back into a work routine.

A patient she didn't recollect having seen before came into her room on Monday morning.

John Markham was in his mid-fifties, long and lean, with hair that was greying around the temples. He walked into the room slowly, and she noticed that he put out a hand to steady himself as he lowered himself into the chair next to her table.

'How can I help you?' she asked, giving him a smile.

'I've been feeling very sick and dizzy just lately, Doctor,' he said hesitantly, 'and I've been having to take to my bed. Actually, I felt ill a while ago, with something similar.'

Bethany quickly checked his notes on the computer. There was nothing to suggest that he had been to the surgery with a similar complaint before this. In fact, John had made no visits at all over the last year or so, and appeared to be a remarkably healthy individual.

'You didn't come to see us about it, John, did you? Does that mean it cleared up by itself?'

He nodded. 'It felt pretty terrible at the time, but I just rested and stayed in bed and it passed off after a few days. I don't like to call you doctors out...I know how busy you are.'

He looked at her, frowning, and went on, 'I thought the same would happen now, but it's getting worse if anything. It was all I could do to get here today.'

She could see that he was distinctly unwell. Even though he was sitting down, he was holding onto the table as though it helped him to keep him upright.

'Have you actually been sick?' she asked.

'Yes, I have, a couple of times this morning.'

'Has someone come to the surgery with you?' she asked.

'The wife came with me. She's driving.'

'That's good.'

He said awkwardly, 'She made me come here today. The thing is, I've always been all right up to now, you know. I'm a bit...well, I wondered if...if I was going to have a stroke or something, what with the dizziness and all. You hear so much about people keeling over, and I've always tried to stay healthy.'

She reached for her stethoscope. 'I'll just do a quick examination, John. You haven't been here for a while, so it won't hurt to give you a quick check-up.'

He undid his shirt and she listened to his chest. 'That seems fine,' she murmured. 'Any headaches?'

'Not usually, but I've got one now. A real head-banger.'

She swiftly checked his eyes. 'Just follow my finger with your eyes,' she murmured, moving her hand across the line of his vision. 'OK,' she said, 'now I'll just take your blood pressure, and while I'm doing that I'll take your temperature.' She popped a thermometer under his tongue.

When she had finished her examination, she said, 'I think you're suffering from labyrinthitis, John. It's an infection that causes inflammation of the inner ear.'

'Oh.' He seemed startled. 'It's not a stroke, then?'

She shook her head, and he looked immensely relieved. 'I'll give you some tablets,' she said, printing out the prescription. 'Go to bed and lie down for a day or so and you should soon start to feel better. Take one tablet three times a day. I'll give you a month's supply... sometimes these things can take a while to clear up.' She added her signature, then glanced up at him. 'Make sure that you come back and see us if you have any more problems.'

'I will, thanks.' He went out carefully, holding onto the furniture and then the door, but he Was still looking relieved.

She was on call the next morning and started on the home visits just as soon as she had seen Sam settled with Meredith. If she was lucky, she would be finished before lunch, and she would be able to go over to the hospital and see how her mother was getting on. She would take Sam with her this time, and give her mother a treat.

Her last call of the day was to a large house on the edge of town. Mrs Somerby, who had made the call to the surgery, was a widow, it turned out, a white-haired, neatly turned-out lady in her early sixties.

'Come in, my dear,' she greeted Bethany. 'I'm sorry to call you out, but I'm really worried about Jayesh.'

Bethany frowned a little at the foreign-sounding name. The notes Anna had made had led her to expect to see Mrs Somerby's son, but that seemed unlikely now.

'Is Jayesh a relative?' she queried. 'I thought I was here to see someone called James.'

'Oh, there must have been a mistake. The phone's been playing me up—it keeps crackling, you know.' She shook her head. 'I must get the engineer in to see •to it.' She smiled. 'No, my dear, it's one of my residents I want you to look at. I let a couple of rooms out, you see, to give me a bit of an income since my husband passed on. My boarders are very good, they're no trouble at all. I give them their meals, but mostly they come and go as they please. They have their own bathrooms, so they're no problem.'

She led the way up a narrow staircase. 'Jayesh's room is up here. He's not been well for quite a while now, but this last few days he hasn't even come down for his meals. I must say I'm getting worried about him. He didn't look well at all when I popped my head round the door this morning. He didn't want me to ring you but, you know, 1 thought I should. I thought it would be for the best.'

She knocked lightly on the door and then pushed it open. 'There you are. See, he's, too poorly to even get out of bed. I was right to call you, wasn't I?'

Bethany saw the huddled form of an Asian man lying on a crumpled bed. He looked pale, and his head seemed to be damp with perspiration. She nodded. 'I'll have a look at him and see what the problem is.'

'I'll just leave you to it for a minute or so, then, shall I?' Mrs Somerby made a discreet exit, going back down the stairs. 'Just give me a shout if you want me for anything.'

'I will.' She turned her attention to her patient.

'Hello, Jayesh,' Bethany said quietly, approaching the bed. 'I'm a doctor. I understand that you've not been feeling well?'

He didn't answer straight away, but after a while he muttered, 'It's a virus. No need to worry.'

'Even so, Mrs Somerby is concerned about you. Perhaps I could start by sliding this thermometer under your tongue?'

He made no objection, and when Bethany had finished taking his temperature, she asked if she could examine him. He nodded doubtfully, then began to cough.

'Have you had the cough for a long time, Jayesh?' she asked.

'Long time,' he said. 'English climate. No good for me.'

She smiled. 'I know what you mean. I feel that way too when it's cold and raining. Are you getting any pain?'

'In my chest.'

'OK. I'll just have a listen and see what's going on in there.' She used her stethoscope to listen to his chest sounds, and afterwards checked the lymph nodes in his neck.

'All right, Jayesh,' she said when she had finished. He was exhausted by the effort of sitting up, and she added, 'You can lie back down now.'

She waited for him to settle, then told him carefully, 'I think you have a nasty chest infection, and it's one that really needs to be treated in hospital, where they can do further tests to find out what's causing it. They'll probably do an X-ray to help with the diagnosis.' She gave him a moment to let that sink in. He looked shaken by the news, but was too weak to put up an argument.

Bethany added quietly, 'I'm going to call for an ambulance now and arrange for you to be admitted right away. Is there anyone you would like me to contact for you?'

'There's no one here,' he said, clearly short of breath.

'All right,' she murmured. 'You rest now, and we'll go into all that later. I'll just go and make some calls.'

She left the room and sat on a seat in the corridor outside to phone for the ambulance. When she had done that, she rang Connor.

'Beth? Is something wrong?' She could almost feel his frown. 'Is Sam all right?'

'He's fine. I'm calling about the man you've been looking for—the man you suspect has tuberculosis. I think I've found him. I've just examined a man who has a very bad chest infection, and he told me that he moved down here from the Midlands a few weeks ago.'

She sensed his sudden alertness. 'I'll be with you as soon as I can.'

He arrived at the same time as the ambulance. Seeing his tall, confident figure, Bethany had to steel herself to stay calm and professional.

'I'm glad you thought to call me right away,' he said, his dark eyes flicking over her in restless scrutiny.

Had he seriously believed she would leave it to someone else to let him know? She pushed her uneasy reflections to one side and introduced him to her patient first of all.

Connor spoke to him as Beth and the paramedics tended to him and then, as they prepared to drive away, Bethany introduced Connor to Mrs Somerby.

'I thought he had been under the weather,' the woman said anxiously, watching as the ambulance pulled away, 'but I didn't know that he was so ill as to have to go to hospital.'

'He is, unfortunately,' Connor murmured. 'Do you think we could we go inside the house and talk for a few minutes?' He glanced at Bethany, and added, 'Will you be able to stay for a while? You need to be in on this, because your surgery will most likely be dealing with any contacts in the area.'

'Yes, of course. I've no other calls on my list.'

'Good.' His brittle gaze moved over her, and she pulled in a deep breath. They had to work together, she acknowledged, and it was never going to be easy.

They went into Mrs Somerby's sitting room, and the woman asked fearfully, 'This is bad, isn't it? Am I going to end up in hospital as well? I mean, it's infectious, isn't it, TB? And he's been staying here for a few weeks now.'

'We'll need to examine you and do a tuberculin test to find out whether or not you've been infected,' Connor murmured. 'You'll also need to have an X-ray.'

The poor woman looked shocked. 'But what happens to me then? What if you find that I've got TB—will I have to have an operation? Will I lose a lung?'

'No, Mrs Somerby, that's not the usual course of treatment. What would probably happen is that you would take three or four drugs daily for a couple of months, followed by another two for a longer period.'

'All those drugs?' She looked paler than ever. 'That can't be good for a body, can it?'

'We would take blood samples from time to time to make sure that there are no toxic side-effects. Usually, provided people stick to the full course of treatment, the majority of patients make a full recovery.'

'Oh, my... I can't take this all in...' She looked close to tears. 'I only thought Jayesh had a nasty cough. Bronchitis, I thought. I didn't realise it was something much worse than that.'

'What we need to do now,' Connor said gently, 'is to ask you to give us the names of any other people who are living here, so that we can make sure that they aren't infected as well. I'll want to know about other people that you have regular contact with, too—family members and so on.'

'Oh, my... Just...just give me a minute while I think.' She looked up at Connor. 'There's Malcolm, he's upstairs now, I think, and there's Jane who comes in to do a bit of cleaning... And then there's...let me see... Would it help if I write them down for you?'

'That would be a great help.'

'I'll go and have a word with Malcolm if he's here, shall I?' Bethany glanced at Connor and he nodded agreement. She left him talking to Mrs Somerby and went to find Malcolm.

They left the house about half an hour later, when Connor had secured all the information he needed and had arranged for Mrs Somerby and her residents to be tested.

They were alone for the first time, and Connor seemed to straighten his shoulders as though bracing himself. 'I'll send a couple of people round to follow up and check whether there is anyone she has forgotten,' he said as they walked back to their cars.

She nodded, and he went on, 'I'm glad we've found the man at last. Apparently he was looking around down here for permanent accommodation. None of his family have been able to get in touch with him because he changed his mobile phone number, and Mrs Somerby's line is ex-directory. He hadn't told anyone where he was staying, and for the last week or so he's been feeling too unwell to contact anyone.'

'Thank heaven it's all sorted now.'

'Too right.' He glanced at her, and a muscle flicked in his jaw. 'Are you going back to the surgery now?'

Bethany shook her head. 'I'm going to visit my mother in hospital,' she said huskily. 'She's getting better every day, but she's restless now, wanting to come home, and she misses Sam dreadfully. I thought I would take him with me. Having visitors is the highlight of her life.'

His eyes darkened. 'I expect it won't be long now before she's able to go home.' He sounded distant all at once, and Bethany glanced at him quickly, her spirits sinking to a new low. Had she made a mess of things again by mentioning Sam?

Connor started to unlock his car, and she said hurriedly, 'Connor, we ought to talk. There are things we need to sort out.' It was one thing to work together and put up a professional front, but she couldn't stand this coolness between them much longer. It was tearing her apart.

'You're right, we should.' He grimaced. 'We need to know how we're going to arrange things between us so that I can have access to Sam. It's one thing while I'm staying with my parents, but I'll be moving to Cornwall soon and I want to finalise arrangements about the house before I can have him to stay with me over there.'

Her jaw must have dropped, because his brows drew together in a black line and he said briefly, 'Is there a problem?'

'No...no, it's just that I... He's never been away from home before—except when he was in hospital— and I'm not sure that he'll settle anywhere else.' She lifted her chin, gathering strength. 'Besides, I want to know where he's going to be staying. I want to see for myself that everything's all right before I let him go anywhere.'

There was going to have to be some discussion on how long he thought he was going to keep Sam with him, too, though that was a conversation she couldn't face right now.

He looked at her oddly for a moment, and she prepared herself for another sarcastic comment.

It didn't come. Instead, he said coolly, 'If you're free this weekend you could come along and look at the house. It will need some work done on it to get it the way I want it, but you should be able to get a general idea of things. Sam might want to see his room for himself—that way it won't seem so strange to him.'

'I can manage this weekend.' She hesitated, then added, 'Perhaps we should take the opportunity then to tell him that you're his father?'

'Yes. I think that would be a good idea.' His gaze flicked over her, searching her features. 'That's settled, then. I'll come for you both after breakfast on Saturday and we'll drive over there.'

She had to lower her head to hide her suddenly bleak expression. He had everything worked out, didn't he? Even down to what room Sam was going to have. That was hard enough to bear, but he was making it plain that there was no place for her in his life, and she hated this black void that was looming up between them. Worse still was the knowledge that it was all her fault.

CHAPTER NINE

Sam was thrilled to be seeing his nanna again, and Bethany felt a huge surge of affection for both of them as she watched them hug each other.

'I'm so glad you've come to see me,' she told him. 'It cheers me up to see all of you.'

'Lots of people?'

'You and your mummy, and Aunty Merry, and Connor.'

Bethany shot her mother a glance. 'Has Connor been to see you?'

'Yes, he's been here a few times. He brings me grapes and magazines and so on.'

'You not like 'o'pital?' Sam asked, and her mother looked at him quizzically, clearly wondering where that had come from.

'It's not too bad,' she told him. 'The doctors and nurses are helping me to get well again, and when I'm better I'm coming straight home.'

'Me not like 'o'pital. You come home today?' He wound his arms around her neck, and she kissed him tenderly.

'Not today, but soon,' she promised.

'Have they given you any idea when that might be?' Bethany asked.

'After the weekend, I hope. I need to see the consultant when he comes in on Monday, and he might give me the go-ahead.' She pulled a face. 'They've been asking if I have stairs at the cottage, and they seem to be worried about safety rails and so on.'

'I've made enquiries about having hand-rails fitted,' Bethany told her. 'A man came to look at the house and I showed him where I thought they would be useful. He's fairly busy just now, but he said he would try to come and fit them some time next week. They'll make life a lot easier for you while you're getting back on your feet.'

'Bless you,' Sarah said with a smile. 'You think of everything. I don't know what I would do without you.'

'That works both ways,' Bethany murmured. 'Sam obviously wants you back home as soon as possible, and so do I. I've spoken to Meredith about what we'll do to look after you when you're back at the cottage, and she says she'll come over while I'm at work in the mornings. In the afternoons I'll be able to be there for you, because I'm doing fewer hours now.'

'I always knew you wanted more time with Sam,' her mother said knowingly. 'I know it makes things more difficult financially, but I'm sure we'll get by.'

Bethany's mouth quirked ruefully. 'We'll do our best, anyway.'

Back at the surgery the next day, her work was fairly straightforward, and she was thankful for that because it was on her mind that she would be going to Cornwall with Sam and Connor on Saturday.

Jack Hetherington came in to tell her about the results of his meeting with the consultant at the hospital.

'I expect you've heard from them already, haven't you?' he asked.

'Not yet, Jack,' she murmured, frowning at her computer screen. 'It takes three or four weeks for correspondence to work through the system, I'm afraid. I should be getting a letter from them fairly soon, though.' She glanced at him. 'How did you get on?'

'I'm to have B12 injections for a while to see if the anaemia improves. They've already started doing them at the hospital, but they say I can have them done here if it's more convenient.'

'Is that what you want?'

'Yes. It suits me better, because I can get to work on time if I come here. It saves me a trip to the hospital.'

'Did they give you a form?'

He nodded and began to rummage in his pocket. 'Here it is.'

'Good. Give that to our nurse, and she'll organise things for you.' She looked at him, noting that his cheeks were less hollow now and he had more colour in his face than before. 'How are you feeling?'

'Better.' he said with a grin. 'A lot better than I did before.'

'I'm glad,' she told him. 'Keep up the good work.'

'I will.'

Saturday was on her almost before she was ready. Connor called for her and Sam just after nine o'clock in the morning and she invited him in, holding onto Sam's hand as she held the door open.

'Are you both ready to go?' he asked, looking doubtfully at Sam's grubby clothes as she led him through to the kitchen. There he stopped short, a brow lifting as he saw the chaos left over from the early morning rush, with breakfast dishes still on the table and a mess of broken crockery on the floor.

'Not yet,' she muttered, throwing him a harassed look. 'Sit down and pour yourself a coffee while you wait.' She let go of Sam's hand and scooted him towards a chair. 'Play with your tractor while I clear up,' she told him firmly, 'and keep away from the broken bits on the floor.'

Connor frowned, looking down at the shattered remnants of a cup and breakfast bowl.

'Did someone have an accident?'

'Sam wanted to learn to use a proper cup,' she explained distractedly, going to work with a dustpan and brush. 'Not a good idea, as it turned out, but I think it frightened him more than anything. He thought he had done something wrong.'

His glance went to Sam, who was watching her morosely, his back against the wall.

'Have you hurt yourself?' he asked, and Sam shook his head. 'That's all right, then. Accidents happen sometimes. Don't worry about it.'

'T-shirt wet,' Sam muttered in a truculent tone, plucking at the offending garment, and Bethany said crisply, 'I'll change it for you in a minute. I need to get these sharp bits up off the floor first.'

The day was getting off to a bad start, and her nerves were on edge already. If Connor dared to complain just once about her not being ready, she would blow a fuse.

He was eyeing her guardedly. 'Can I do something to help?'

She gave it some brief thought; 'His clothes are in a drawer upstairs,' she said shortly. 'I suppose you'll have to learn to dress him one day. Now seems as good a time as any.'

He glanced at Sam and lifted an eyebrow in query. Sam gazed back, and the look they exchanged was one of pure male collusion. A moment later Sam trotted meekly off with him and that made Bethany feel more fraught than ever.

While they were gone, she clattered pots into the dishwasher, swiped a cloth over the kitchen surfaces and tried to pull herself back together again. When Connor brought an angelically smiling Sam back into the kitchen just a short time later, though, neatly dressed in shirt and dungarees, she felt like throwing a teatowel at his head. He must think there was nothing to looking after a child.

'OK, I'm ready,' she said stiffly. 'Shall we go?'

Sam was fractious on the journey, impatient to be out of the car and running about, and she did her best to keep him occupied until he at last fell asleep.

'At least he's not afraid to go in a car after the accident,' Connor murmured, and she nodded agreement.

'Meredith and I took him out a few times, on short journeys mostly, and he was distracted with Becky being there. It helped.'

The drive to Cornwall took longer, though, over two hours, and Bethany was more than thankful when they finally arrived at their destination. Sitting next to Connor in the close confines of the car did nothing to calm her already chaotic nervous system.

He was calm, though, in control, and perhaps that was because things were going his way. He was making arrangements to be with his son, and for all her former doubts if seemed as though that was important to him.

The house wasn't far from the sea, she discovered. Connor drew the car to a halt in a parking place at the top of a hill and they got out to stretch their legs.

'The house is just a short way from here,' he told her. 'I stopped here so that you could see some of the area around it. There's a track leading down the hillside towards the beach. It's just a five-minute walk, and it's quite beautiful and unspoilt.'

That was true, she realised, gazing around at the rich green landscape and the rugged cliffs dropping down to the water's edge.

'Where we going?' Sam wanted to know, coming to a halt at the place where the track started and looking all around him. Bethany glanced at Connor. Was this the right moment to tell Sam what was uppermost in both of their minds? Connor must have read her thoughts because he gave an almost imperceptible nod.

She led Sam over to a bench seat that was set back against the grass verge. Sitting down next to him, she said quietly, 'We're going to look at a house, Sam. Connor thought you might like to see it.'

'Mummy's house?'

'Not Mummy's house, but sometimes you might want to come and stay here and go down to the beach to play on the sand and paddle in the sea.'

'With you?'

'Sometimes...and sometimes with Connor, because we'll be seeing more of Connor from now on. He's very special to us, you know...very special to you.' She paused to see how her explanation was going down. Sam was looking up at her curiously.

'Like Nanna?'

'Yes, like Nanna.' This was harder than she had imagined, perhaps the most difficult thing she had ever had to say to her son. 'Nanna's part of our family, and so is Connor. He's more than just a friend. He's your daddy.'

Sam looked perplexed. 'What's a daddy?'

'Someone who loves you, and wants the very best for you. Like Becky's daddy—he's part of their family.'

Connor said softly, 'Would you like that, Sam, if I was to be your daddy?'

Sam gave it some thought. 'OK.' He jumped down off the bench. 'We go see house now?'

'We will.' Connor held out his hand to Sam. 'Come on, then, tiger. Let's go.'

Sam curled his hand into Connor's and the three of them walked the short distance to the house.

It was perfect, not at all what she had expected. Connor had talked of it being large and an investment, and Bethany had imagined some faceless building dominating the area.

Instead, she saw a sun-tinted, stone-built farmhouse, with square-paned windows peeping out from under a low-slung slate roof. There were brightly painted shutters and colourful window-boxes, while russet-toned ivy clambered over the walls.

'What do you think of it?' Connor asked, and she simply stood there and drank it in.

'I think it's beautiful,' she said at last. 'I had no idea it would be as lovely as this.'

Sam ran to the front porch. 'Me go in?' he asked, and Connor unlocked the door and pushed it open so that they could go inside. Sam's feet clattered across the floor as he ran through the rooms, exploring everything.

'It's quite empty at the moment,' Connor said, 'so you have to imagine what it will be like when it's furnished. It echoes a bit with the beech flooring, but I thought I might put rugs down, except for the kitchen. Come on, I'll show you.'

The kitchen was huge, with a modern cooking range that a chef would have been proud of and glass-fronted cupboards that were a dream to look at.

Bethany turned to Connor and said in a puzzled tone, 'You said you needed to do some renovations before it was right. What kind of renovations?'

'More wardrobe space in the bedrooms mostly, and maybe I'll want to convert one of the bedrooms into an extra bathroom. If I decide to buy, I'll have to make up my mind fairly soon if I'm to get the work done without too much upheaval.'

'Haven't you signed anything yet?'

'Not yet. I put a deposit down on it to secure it while I gave it some thought. I wasn't sure what to do, but time's running out now because the agent has given me until next week to make the decision.'

'What's making you hesitate?'

He paused for a moment, and then said, 'A number of things, I suppose, but one is the large barn to the side of the house, which would need some work if I were to stay here.'

'I would have said yes to it straight away,' she said candidly, 'barn or otherwise. It's the loveliest house I've seen in a long time.'

His eyes warmed with satisfaction. 'I'll show you the upstairs rooms. I picked out one that I thought would be right for Sam, but he might have other ideas, of course.'

Sam's room. The very thought of it brought a huge lump to her throat as she followed Connor up the stairs. She had tried not to think about Sam being here without her, but standing here in the house made it seem such a strong possibility now, and the prospect made her miserable. It was so far away from the cottage in Devon, from all that he knew and loved.

And as to Connor, he would definitely be moving out of her life when he moved here, wouldn't he? The long journey had brought that home to her. The only time she would have any contact with him would be when she handed her son over to him. How often would that be? Just once would be too often. Despair and resentment washed over her in equal quantities.

'Do you think he would like it here?'

Connor's deep voice cut into her thoughts and she dragged her attention back to what he was saying. She looked around the sun-drenched room she found herself standing in. There was a window-seat, overlooking a sprawling lawn that lost itself in craggy apple trees at one side and was bordered elsewhere by curving banks of flowers. In the far distance she caught a glimpse of the sea between craggy promontories.

Sam was busy pulling open the doors of every fitted cupboard and peering inside. Then he took himself off to explore the neighbouring rooms.

'I'm sure he'll love it,' she said. 'He's making himself at home already.'

There must have been an edge to her tone, because Connor glanced at her sharply and said, 'Does that bother you?'

'It's difficult for me,' she said, sending him a troubled glance. 'You have to understand...he's my son, and he's been mine for almost three years. There hasn't been a day or a night when we haven't been together. I know it must sound as though I'm being possessive, but you're planning on taking him away from me and that makes me anxious.'

'Isn't that what you did to me? You kept him from me.'

'You didn't know him,' she said huskily. 'You weren't there for any of that time. You're not losing anything because you never had him. It couldn't ever be the same.'

'But I am his father and he needs to know that I care about him and have a place in his life. He has to understand that this is just as much his home as it is mine.'

She looked at him warily. 'Just how long are you planning on having him here with you?'

'I thought weekends to begin with, say Friday evening to Sunday evening, and then when I take my holidays he can stay with me for longer.'

'You have it all worked out, don't you? And where do I fit into all this? I work, too. Have you forgotten that? When I'm at home, I want to spend time with him.'

She shook her head, shooting him a glance of raw frustration. 'I still don't really understand your determination to have him with you. You always insisted that you weren't a family man, yet here you are, making plans for just that.'

He said coolly, 'I'm hardly making plans for a family. Though that could be a solution, of course. It would be much better for him all round if there were two people looking after him.'

Her eyes widened. Was he planning on having some other woman come here to act as a mother to her child? Incensed, she glared at him. Who did he have in mind? Steph?

'And who did you think might play the part of his mother? Steph?' She gritted her teeth. 'Don't even think about it.'

Connor's blue eyes glittered. 'You don't like that idea?'

'I've no intention of letting you play happy families with my son.'

He appeared to think about that. 'You know, there is another option that might appeal to you.'

'And that is?'

'You could come and stay here with him.'

Bethany stared at him, her mouth dropping open. 'Are you being serious?'

'Why wouldn't I be? I had no idea what it would be like to have a child, but now that I know I have a son I realise that he means more to me than anything else. He's my flesh and blood. He's also yours, so perhaps we should reach some kind of compromise.'

She said weakly, 'What did you have in mind?'

He gave a shrug. 'However you want to work it. We could make it legal, if you wanted.' He looked at her cautiously. 'If we were married, he might feel more secure because both of us would always be here for him.'

She was so stunned by the casual proposal that she asked huskily, 'You're asking me to marry you?'

'I'm saying that it's a way around the problem we have. You don't want to be away from Sam, and ferrying him between us would involve a lot of travelling and disruption. It seems to me that it would be a sensible solution for both of us if we were to live under the same roof.'

Her head was swimming. Suddenly it was difficult for her to think straight, almost as though she were wading through a thick, chilling fog. He made it sound such a cold proposition...a loveless marriage, on his part, at any rate, for the sake of their son.

Even so, she was tempted by the proposition for a moment. At least it was a way out of this terrible situation. She would be able to keep Sam with her, and she would be with Connor at the same time.

Was that what she wanted? He wasn't making the offer out of any feelings for her, he wasn't even pretending to love her, and she didn't think she could ever come to terms with that. How would she feel if he eventually found someone else he wanted to share his life with? It was a bleak, soul-destroying prospect.

'You haven't answered me,' he said, flicking her a dark glance. 'Is it such a difficult choice to make?'

'I think I need a little more time,' she answered huskily. 'I wasn't expecting that, and I need to think things through.'

All the while, her heart was saying, yes, take it while it's there on offer, but her mind was unhappily going over how things plight turn out. Would he come to resent her in the end? Would they become strangers, living out a cold, empty existence?

'What is there to think about?'

'My mother, for one thing,' she muttered, 'and how I'll be able to care for her now that she's coming out of hospital. I can't just abandon her.'

'Yes, that's true.' His gaze was thoughtful. 'She's getting better all the time, but I expect she'll need help for a quite a long while yet. I must come and see her when she's back home. Have you talked to the consultant about how she's going to cope?'

'Of course. He thinks she'll be back to more or less how she was eventually, given her progress so far, but it will take time, months probably. She might be left with a slight weakness in her arm and leg.'

Sam was back again, tugging at her skirt now, and she looked down at him distractedly and allowed him to pull her away.

'Play garden,' he said, and she followed him down the stairs and out on to the lawn.

Connor had changed the subject, moving away from thoughts of marriage to her mother's problems without the slightest bit of hesitation. It just went to show how he viewed the situation, didn't it? It was a practical solution to a vexing problem, nothing more than that.

He drove them back home an hour or so later, after they had stopped for lunch at a sleepy little seaside restaurant. Sam fidgeted the whole time and messed about with his food, but Connor was more than tolerant, not at all how she had expected him to be.

He dropped her and Sam off at home and she might have asked him in except that she, needed time to herself to think about everything he had said.

'I might go over to the hospital,' she murmured. 'There's still time for me to go and see my mother.'

'Let me know when she's coming home,' he said, as he made to drive away.

'I will.' Bethany watched him go and thought uneasily that the afternoon had left her with many questions in her mind. Surely there must be another way out of the situation she found herself in?

He had suggested that she go to live with him in Cornwall, but that would throw up as many problems as it resolved. She didn't want marriage on his terms, because he felt it was a price to be paid. She wanted his love, not a compromise.

Was there any reason why she couldn't find a place of her own in Cornwall—one where her mother could live, too? For a long time she had rejected the idea of moving house because of all the upheaval it would involve, not just for herself but for her mother and Sam, but now she was having to think again.

It wasn't an easy solution, but shouldn't she at least consider the option? She didn't like the thought of Sam making that journey on a regular basis. It was too far away for comfort, and if she lived nearer Connor, maybe they could work it so that Sam would be away from her for a shorter time.

She was back at work on Monday, on call again, and she had just about finished for the morning when Anna phoned to tell her of an emergency that had cropped up at a local hotel. She made that her next call.

'I'm glad you could come so quickly, Doctor,' the hotel manager greeted her. 'Six of our guests have complained of feeling ill since last night. I think mostly they're suffering from diarrhoea and abdominal pains. I hope it's nothing to do with the food here,' he said worriedly. 'It will be really bad for business if we have a case of food poisoning on our hands.'

'I'd better take a look at them,' Bethany murmured. 'I'll take the one who looks most ill first, if you can tell me who that is.'

'That will probably be Mr Ralston,' he said, looking anxious. 'Room 14, on the first floor.'

Bethany examined all the patients and discovered a variety of symptoms, which included headache and cough, along with feverishness. She was unhappy about their general condition, and when she had finished examining the last one she sought out the manager once more.

'I can't be certain what has caused the illness,' she told him, 'but it does appear to be quite serious. I don't think it's food poisoning, but there is an infection of some sort and we'll need to do tests to find the source. They all need to go to hospital.'

He blanched. 'Is it that bad?'

'I'm afraid so.'

'Does that mean that officials will be coming here to the hotel?'

'Possibly. We shan't know much until we have the results of the tests, which will tell us what specific bacterium is responsible. Once we've identified that, we will be in a position to look for the source. I'm sure that if your hotel is checked over, the people who come to carry out the investigation will be perfectly discreet.'

He wasn't at all happy with the outcome, but there was little he could do about it but to accept her judgement and arrange for the ambulance to come around to the back of the hotel.

Bethany left just as soon as she had seen the last of the patients off to hospital, and went back to the surgery to type up her notes. She had indicated to the paramedics what she thought the infection might be, and it was up to the hospital to take it from there.

Her mother came home a couple of days later, and Bethany left a message for Connor, letting him know. She watched her mother's careful movements over the next day or so and was glad that all the hand-rails were finally in place.

'They're a great help,' her mother said. 'They make life much easier for me.'

'The stairs are your biggest problem, though, aren't they?' Bethany murmured thoughtfully. She had been wondering how to broach the subject of moving house, but now she said, 'You know, it might take quite a while for you to recover properly, and I've been wondering if we would be better off moving to a bungalow. At least it would be easier for you to get around.'

Her mother looked startled, and Bethany said hurriedly, 'I know you've lived here for a long time, and that you love the place, but perhaps you could learn to be just as happy somewhere else.'

Sarah looked at her oddly. 'Did you have anywhere particular in mind?'

'I was thinking about Cornwall. Connor will be moving there soon, and he wants to be able to have Sam to stay with him sometimes, so I thought perhaps we could think about a move ourselves.' She sent her mother a troubled glance. 'I'm trying to work out what would be best for all of us.'

'I see. You mean that you want us to think about buying a house there, too?'

She nodded. 'I know it's a lot to ask of you.'

Her mother was thoughtful. 'If you think it's for the best, I won't stand in your way. I shall miss this place, of course, but if that's what you want to do, perhaps you should make some enquiries. I've no idea how much money we would get for the cottage.' She frowned. 'There's Merry and David to think about, too. It won't be so easy for them to drop by whenever they want.'

'No, it won't...but if we find that we can't afford a big enough house so that we have a spare room, perhaps we could buy a bed-settee and a single bed for Becky. That way we would be able to put them up over the weekend whenever they're free. We would probably see more of them that way—a whole weekend instead of just an hour or so.'

'You've thought this through, haven't you?'

'I've been thinking about it for the last few days, trying to work out what to do for the best.'

Her mother looked at her seriously. 'Is there no chance at all that you and Connor could get together?

I always thought you were well suited, and I was really hoping that things would turn out differently to this.'

Bethany shook her head, feeling close to tears all of a sudden, 'I don't think so, Mum.' She turned away, and her mother must have realised how upset she was because she said no more about it.

The next day, after work, she stopped off at the estate agent's office and asked for details of various properties. He gave her a sheaf of papers to take home so that they would be able to look through them at their leisure and perhaps find something that they liked.

Sam hurtled towards her at speed when she arrived home at lunchtime, and she bent down to give him a big hug and a kiss. 'Hello, sweetheart. Have you had a good day?'

He nodded. 'Me go park wiv Becky.' he said, his eyes shining. 'Me go now, minute.'

She had no idea what he meant by that last statement, but Meredith appeared in the hall and gave him an amused glance.

'He means he wants to know if that's all right with you...if we go now. I thought I'd take him and Mum out for a breath of air and let you have your lunch in peace.'

'Oh...well, yes, of course it's all right.' It was odd, because usually they would all have lunch together, and she had never known them to disappear as soon as she arrived home.

Meredith glanced at the bundle of papers she was holding. 'I see you've been to see the estate agent. Do you think there's anything there that you might want to look at?'

'Possibly. I haven't had time to do more than glance at them.'

Meredith smiled. 'You can take your time over lunch, perhaps, and sort through them.'

'Yes, probably. I'll go and say hello to Mum. Has she been all right?'

'She's fine. Trying to do too much as usual, but I put a stop to that.'

'Good.' Meredith seemed to be in a good humour, and that was a cheering thought. Bethany often worried about whether she put too much on her, but she always said it was fine, no problem.

She went through to the living room and came to a sudden stop in the doorway. Connor was there, talking to her mother, and now she realised why there was such a light-hearted atmosphere in the house. Connor had always known how to sweet-talk her family.

Recovering from the shock of seeing him, she went in and said hello to her mother, and wasn't really surprised when she murmured, 'I'll leave you two to talk for a while. Merry said she would take me out to the park so that I could sit and watch the birds for a while. We may as well make the most of this nice weather while it lasts.'

'OK, Mum. You have a good time.'

They were making themselves scarce, and it was so obvious that she could have curled up with humiliation.

Connor seemed to be finding it amusing. There was a glint in his eyes that said he knew exactly what was going on, and he wasn't fazed by it at all. He said calmly, 'Let me give you a hand, Sarah.'

He walked her to the door and called Meredith, who was ready and waiting with car keys in her hand. Sam and Becky were dancing around like eager puppies.

'I don't know what they think they're cooking up between them,' Bethany said dryly as the front door shut behind them.

'I expect they just want us to have some time to ourselves,' Connor said with a twist to his mouth. 'They were never very good at subtlety, were they?'

'I'm afraid not. I don't think they realised that you came to see Mum, rather than me.'

He gave her an odd look. 'I wanted to talk to you, anyway, to update you on the people you admitted to hospital the other day.'

'Oh?' She might have known there was nothing more he wanted to say to her, even though it churned her up inside to acknowledge it.

'We had the results of the tests on each patient, and they have Legionnaires' disease. I've had to send in a team to find out where the infection's coming from, but we suspect it's to do with the shower system. If it was the air conditioning that was causing the problem, it would have affected more people. Apparently these six had all used an antiquated plumbing system that was due for renovation.'

'I wondered if it was something like that.' A small frown drew her eyebrows together. 'How are they? I was particularly worried about the older man, the one in his sixties.'

'He's being given intravenous antibiotics to combat the pneumonia which developed, and he seems to be holding his own so far. The others were younger and are probably more able to fight off the illness, so the outlook for them is fairly positive. It's a good thing for all of them that you acted so quickly in getting them to hospital and pinpointed the possibility of Legionnaires'.'

His blue glance drifted over her and homed in on the estate agent's leaflets that she was still carrying. 'What's all this? Are you planning on moving house?'

'I thought it might be another solution.'

'May I see?'

'If you like.'

He sifted through the papers, and must have noted the location because he said softly, 'Do you think this is really necessary?'

She gave a ragged sigh. 'I can't think of any other way. I want to be close to Sam all the while, and I have to think about my mother, too. It seems the best idea so far.'

'It would mean that you'd have to find another job.'

'Yes, I know that, but I don't think that will be such a problem. There's a demand for GPs, from what I've heard.'

He studied her thoughtfully, his eyes darkening as he raked her features. 'You must be very concerned about me wanting access to him if you're going to these lengths.'

She sighed again. What an appalling mess she had made of things. 'I'm worried about him travelling all that way on a regular basis. All I ever wanted was for Sam to be happy. I didn't want you to come into his life after three years and upset everything and then disappear again. And that's exactly what you were planning on doing, with this new job coming up, wasn't it?'

'That's why you didn't want me to know that he was my son?'

'I knew it would cause endless problems, and what was the point in telling you about him when you didn't care enough to stick around in the first place?'

'When he was conceived, you mean?'

Hot colour swept along her cheekbones. 'I suppose I do. I thought you cared about me, I thought what we had was far more than a brief hot-headed night of passion, but I was wrong, as it turned out. You went away without a backward glance, and I was left to carry your child. You can't begin to understand how it feels to be abandoned that way.'

He said softly, 'I thought I was putting that right by offering to marry you, to keep you and Sam in my life.'

Her mouth twisted scornfully. 'What you offered me was a compromise, a way of carrying out your responsibility to your son. I don't want that kind of quick fix.'

He grimaced. 'Beth, I know it can't have been easy for you, bringing up a baby, but have you thought about how it was for me? How do you think I felt when I came back and saw you with Sam? I was desperate for him to be mine. I couldn't bear to think that he might be another man's child.'

Her eyes widened. Had he really felt like that?

'You meant so much to me,' he said quietly. 'I've loved you almost since I first met you when you were hardly more than eight years old, but I was never absolutely sure how you felt about me.'

Her heart missed a beat. She stared at him, hardly daring to breathe. Her eyes were wide, bright with unshed tears. Was he really saying that he loved her? She couldn't have heard that right, could she?

'You love me?'

'I love you. I hoped that you felt the same, but Martin was always there, in the background, and you cared about him so much, treated him like a dear friend. I didn't know how deep your feelings went for him.'

'He is a friend, a very dear friend, but he's never been more to me than that. You were the one I needed, longed for, but you went away...'

He returned her gaze, heat flaring in his blue eyes as he reached for her. 'I never wanted to leave you,' he muttered in a roughened tone, 'but I was offered the chance of a lifetime to go and study abroad and come back with a qualification that would virtually guarantee me the choice of where I wanted to be. I wanted to be able to provide the best for my future wife and family and I was hoping desperately that one day that woman would be you.'

She shook her head. 'How could that be? You didn't once say that was what you wanted.'

'I couldn't. It wouldn't have been fair to ask you to wait all that time. You were young and starting out on your career. You had everything ahead of you. My only consolation was that I felt in my heart that you loved me, and I hoped you would still feel the same way when I returned.'

His mouth made a rueful shape. 'Instead, when I came back, you kept me at a distance. You had a child, and you refused to acknowledge that he was mine. I felt terrible, I felt as though my whole world had collapsed in on itself.'

She said unhappily, 'When Sam was ill, you turned on me. I thought you hated me... I didn't blame you for that, I could understand it, but it hurt badly all the same.'

'His illness brought it home to me how close I was to losing him, to losing everything that I held precious. I'd been away for so long that I wasn't part of his life, and because of that you didn't even think to let me know when he was rushed into hospital. For a while I was so angry with myself, and with you, that I wanted to hurt you, the same way that I had been hurt. I'm sorry for that. Believe me, I'm sorry.'

He drew her to him, his mouth brushing her temple. 'It was like a madness, a way of venting all my rage and frustration. I should never have lost control like that. Can you forgive me for what I put you through?'

'I forgive you,' she whispered. 'I'm just as much to blame for keeping Sam to myself, for not telling you when I had the chance. I've always loved you, but I was so lost when you left. You had so many plans for when you came back, and I knew that you would be ready to move on again. I couldn't bear the thought of losing you all over again. It hurt too much.'

'I was hoping that when I moved on, you would go with me. I picked out the new house with you in mind, but I couldn't buy it until you had seen it and told me what you thought of it.'

He looked down at her, his eyes darkening. 'I know that you love being here, it has been your home for so long, but it was the only answer.'

'The house is perfect, but I need to think about my mother—'

'I know. I thought of that. There's room enough for your mother to live there with us, and we could convert the barn to a dwelling house for the times when she wants more privacy. Merry and David will be able to come over and stay there—there would be plenty of room.'

She smiled up at him, a choked feeling in her throat. 'You've thought of everything, haven't you?'

'I tried to. You were angry with me, though, and everything went wrong. I wanted to ask you to be my wife, but suddenly I wasn't sure what you wanted, whether you would agree, and I made it sound too cold, like a deal we could plan together.'

He looked into her eyes. 'I need you by my side, Beth. I love you,' he said raggedly, shaping her with his hands as though he dared not let her go. 'Will you marry me and be with me, by my side for evermore?'

'I will,' she answered huskily, losing herself in the sensual lure of his caresses. 'I love you. I've always loved you.'

He kissed her, long and hard, all the pent-up longing and aching tenderness merging into one in that sweet, endlessly loving kiss. She melted into his arms, desperate for the feel of him, for the joy of having his hands pull her close to him and caress her body to his with burning need.

They were still kissing when Sam clattered into the room some time later.

'You kissing my mummy 'gain?' he said, looking up at them with a curious expression.

Connor lifted him up and drew him into the circle of their arms. 'Yes, Sam,' he murmured with a smile. 'Again, and again, and again, for evermore.'