- Just stay calm. Maybe he'll come talk to me.

- Just stay calm. Maybe she hasn't seen America's Most Wanted.

I've got great news! Your appeal successfully reduced your six life terms to one.

- Dad, I'm considering a career in organised crime.

- Government or private sector?

Friends call me 'Fat Tony'. Others call me 'please, please God, don't shoot.'

- I don't know where we went wrong with you son...

- I'm over here dad!