CHAPTER ONE:

I’m not entirely sure why Karma hated me. I felt I was a pretty decent person most of the
time, yet bad things kept happening to me.

When I was fifteen, my mom, Renee, was killed in a car crash. She was driving home to us
after work one day and a truck driver, who had logged too many hours and should have been
resting and not driving, blindsided her and by the time my dad made it to the scene, she was
gone, her car completely obliterated.

That was probably the hardest day of my entire life. Or so I thought at the time.

My parents shared a deep spiritual connection and when she died it was like a part of him
died. We were sitting at home when it happened, laughing and waiting for her to get home at
any minute. Suddenly, as if out of nowhere, Charlie’s mood was sullen and worry lines
creased his once smooth forehead. Our phone rang seconds later and we were told that there
was an accident. He said I shouldn’t go because he didn’t know the severity of the accident.
But I knew he did, he was just trying to shelter me and keep me safe.

My childhood died along with them that day. I was forced to grow up before I should have. I
had to take care of Charlie. He was beside himself and didn’t eat for weeks. He took leave
from work with the Forks Police Department, but had to go back eventually once his
bereavement leave was over since we needed the money to put food on our table and to make
ends meet.

The next year of high school was filled with my rebellion against everything and everyone
because I felt the world owed me.

I ditched my best friends in the world when my mom died. Why? I’m not entirely sure. My
best friend, Alice Cullen, was like my soul mate. She was more a sister to me than a best
friend. Her older brother, Edward, while we weren’t friends we flirted on occasion, had gone
off to college at Dartmouth the year my mom died, so I never really saw him much after that,
and then never again after Alice and I stopped hanging out. Rosalie Hale and her twin brother
Jasper stuck with Alice through my insane downward spiral. And who could blame them? Not
me, that’s for sure. I could hear a tiny part of myself crying out for help through it all, but no
one seemed to hear it, so I kept on doing everything I could to self destruct.

I had a multitude of boyfriends that I hooked up with and then ditched when I got bored.
Don’t get me wrong, I was far from a slut, I left that up to Lauren Mallory, the Raging Slut
Queen of Forks High.

I experimented with a few drugs. Nothing hardcore, just the more ‘naturals’ like pot. Of
course that was until Charlie smelled it on me and caught me holding. Needless say, even my
own father wasn’t above putting his baby in a night of lock up at the Forks PD.

I swore I’d never do it again and I didn’t. But I still went out and partied with all my friends
and had a few beers. I made sure to stay at a friend’s house after since I knew Charlie would
likely lock me up again and, this time, throw away the key.

I had lost my virginity at sixteen at a party, though, to a guy I didn’t even know. James, I
think his name was. Apparently he was from the high school in Port Angeles and he came to
the party with a friend who attended Forks High. I woke up with serious regret the next
morning since I had drunk sex with this guy and didn’t even know him from Adam.
Thankfully the fact that I was on the pill kept me from getting pregnant and I could only hope
that the opened and empty condom wrapper on the night stand meant that we had played it
safe. I did go to the Doctor to get checked just to be on the safe side.

It was that one night stand that woke me up to the destructive life I was leading. I had to stop,
or be stopped. I had hit rock bottom and I had finally understood that. I made a vow to myself
that I was done and that I was ready to be the person I was meant to be before everything in
my life was ruined. I was terrified to think about what my mother was possibly thinking as
she watched down over me as I single-handedly destroyed my life.

I apologized to my father for my behavior and he, of course, forgave me. Because that was
Charlie. He loved me unconditionally.

Next on my list was to apologize to Alice, Rosalie and Jasper. Sadly, they were less forgiving.
This killed me, but sadly, I had it coming. I was really horrible to them, and all I could do was
hope that one day they could forgive me. Sadly, they didn’t. We never saw each other again
after graduation.

During my time of reflection, I was introduced to Jacob Black. He was a sweet guy and he
was so into me. We began dating shortly after that and we fell in love. He was my first true
love.

Sure, like every teenage couple we had our fights, but they were more about what movie to go
and see or what concert to buy tickets to. It was all stupid and juvenile…exactly what I
needed.

We graduated high school the same year and were engaged shortly thereafter. Jacob
completed me in so many ways that I didn’t even realize I wasn’t whole before.

By the time we were twenty, we had said our vows in front of our closest family and friends
in my dad’s backyard and moved into our first home. Just a small house a few doors down
from my father, but it was ours. We were happy and in love and trying to have a baby.

And then it happened. Karma bit me in the ass again for some unknown reason. I thought I
had made amends for everything I had put my friends and family through in high school, but
yet, here she was again; tearing me down a few more inches and making me feel completely
inferior against her wrath.

Everything was black. Literally. I couldn’t see anything. All I could hear were machines
beeping and the panicked voices around me. I felt like I was floating through the air at super
human speeds. I tried to move my head, but my entire body was weighed down and I couldn’t
move a muscle. My brain wanted me to panic, but I was surprisingly calm and felt pretty
carefree.

Finally the blackness disappeared and was momentarily replaced with a blinding light. I
instantly closed my eyes and let the blackness take me again. It seemed much less painful that
way.

I heard my name being called out frantically from all directions, but couldn’t answer back.
My throat felt raw and I couldn’t move my mouth, even if I wanted to.

And then I heard it. Something that brought me out of this so called tranquil state I was in.

“Come on, Jake. Pull through. Don’t quit on us now! Get the crash cart! We’re losing him.”

I don’t know who was saying it or where the Hell we even were, but I knew what those words
meant, and upon hearing them, something feral ripped through my body and I screamed, my
whole body fighting against the restraints that held me in place upon this gurney. I opened my
eyes and everything became clear.

We were in the hospital. I felt the intubation tube being ripped from my throat as I turned my
head to see Jake laying on a gurney six feet away from me, his clothes cut open as they placed
the defibrillators on his chest to shock him.

There was another gurney between us with another man around our age on it. I couldn't see
his face through all the blood, but he was alive and breathing. I could only assume this man
was involved with whatever happened to me and Jake.

My eyes refocussed on Jake a little further away as they shocked him again. I heard Jake's
heart monitor make a single ‘blip’ and then flat line. They tried again, only to be met with the
same sounds.

Hot tears streamed from my eyes as I screamed, “Jake! JAKE! JACOB!” I kept pulling
against my restraints, trying to free myself, but it was no use. I felt the gurney almost tip over
before a familiar face caught it. I looked up into the golden eyes of Dr Carlisle Cullen.

He placed his hands on the side of my head, “Bella, sweetheart, you have to calm down,” he
told me in his soothing voice.

I looked around him, trying to see what was going on with Jake. I saw them replace the
defibrillators on the machine when one of the Doctors that was working on him said, “Call it.”

Fresh tears spewed forth from my eyes and that same feral animal that ripped through me last
time came again as I struggled even harder, and this time felt the restraints cutting into my
flesh.

Carlisle tried to hold me still, while I screamed profanities at him and all the hospital staff
around me. I had no idea what I had become, all I knew is that I had no one left.

“Sedate her!” Carlisle cried out to one of the orderlies as they came around to hold me down.
I felt a tiny pin prick in my leg and then my body felt heavy. I lied there on the gurney as the
hot salty tears fell from my eyes and down into my hair until sleep took me.

***

I don’t know how long I slept for, but when I awoke my throat felt raw. I felt the sunlight
streaming in from the window and I smiled as I rolled over onto my right side and wrapped
my arms around--nothing. I opened my eyes and as they adjusted I realized I was in the
hospital. And then it all came flooding back to me.

Jake was gone.

Tears escaped my eyes again as I laid on my side and bawled into my pillow.

I felt strong hands on my shoulders from behind me and I jumped. I turned around and found I
was staring into the deep brown eyes of my father. I sat up and threw my arms around him. it
was then that I realized that my right hand was in a brace.

“Daddy! He’s gone!” I cried as I held onto him tightly.

Charlie ran his fingers through my hair, “Bells, it’s going to be okay.”

“I don’t understand.” I said as I finally released him.

He sighed heavily and sat back on the chair behind him, “You were on your way into Port
Angeles for your anniversary when some kids were goofing around on the highway in their
vehicle. They hit you guys head on going at a ridiculous speed. The car couldn’t handle the
size and impact of the truck.”

And it all came flooding back like a bad dream…

Jake and I were in the Rabbit and we were laughing and joking around and having a great
time. He wouldn’t tell me where he was taking me for our anniversary, so I was guessing,
knowing that there were only so many things to be done in Port Angeles.

“Movies?” I asked.

He shook his head at me. I crumpled my face, “Live Theater?” I guessed again. I was met
with more head shaking. “Dinner at that really fancy restaurant that we can’t afford?” This
time I was met with his hysterical laughter.

“Bella, we could eat for a month at home on the price they charge for their lobster platter
alone,” he told me as he looked over at me.

We laughed together. Happily. Because that’s what we were. We were happy. This was going
to be the best anniversary, because I was going to tell him that I was pregnant.

And that’s when I saw it. Bright lights, headed straight for us. And fast.

“LOOK OUT!”

“Oh God,” I whispered as I brought my hands to my mouth. Then as realization hit, I brought
my hands down to my stomach. “Daddy, I was going to tell him I was pregnant,” I announced
as my lip quivered. “He never even got to know.”

Charlie’s eyes filled with tears and they spilled onto his cheeks. He hung his head, unable to
look into my eyes.

“What? Daddy, what? Did I lose it?” Charlie couldn’t look at me. I felt my eyes burn as the
tears came again. I shook my head as if this was all just some bad dream. I placed my hands
over my ears and clenched my eyes shut trying to block everything out as best I could.

I felt Charlie’s strong arms wrap around me once again and we cried together.

***

Two weeks had passed since the accident. I was staying at Charlie’s place. I couldn’t step foot
inside my own home because of the memories. Charlie had gone over and packed a bunch of
my clothes for me and brought them over. Not that I changed much. I practically lived in my
pajamas.

I didn’t do much. I didn’t go to work. I didn’t watch TV. I did, well, nothing. When I woke up
I would go to the bathroom and then go back to bed and hide under the blankets for most of
the day. If I got thirsty I would grab a glass of water and then retreat back to my fortress of
solitude.

The phone rang off the hook since the funeral. Billy was calling to see how I was holding up.
He wanted to talk to me, but I wasn’t in the mood for talking to anyone. Flowers came to the
door. But of course I didn’t get up to answer the door, because that would involve me coming
out of hiding long enough for the world to see what I mess I had become.

Plus, I didn’t understand why people sent flowers to someone who’s loved one just died. To
remind them that something beautiful only lasted so long before it wilted, died and then began
to rot? Nice sentiment. Assholes.

Alright, so I was a little bitter. Can you blame me? Not only did I lose my husband but also
the only thing that could tie me to him forever. Our child. To say I was merely bitter would be
the understatement of the century.

I didn’t even know what day it was most of the time. I lost track after the funeral, which I
knew was on a Sunday. Now today? No clue. I think it may have been May fifteenth.

I heard the muffled sound of the front door open and close and then my father’s heavy, booted
steps coming up the stairs. My door opened and I felt the dip in the middle of my bed where
my knees were.

“Bells, you have to get up,” he told me in his soft voice.

I shook my head, even though he couldn’t see it beneath my blankets, “No,” I told him firmly.

“Come on, you haven’t eaten anything substantial in weeks. You need to have some dinner.
Mrs. Crowley stopped by the station today and dropped off a casserole for us.” He said, trying
to pry the blankets from my iron-clad vice grip.

I allowed the blankets to be pulled off of my head. My rat’s nest that I called hair was a little
staticky as I turned my head to him, “I’m really not hungry, Dad.”

“Bella, you look awful. You have no color left to your face and your cheeks are sunken in.
You need to eat. Please get up,” he pleaded as he dropped his head into his hands, “I can’t
lose you too,” he confessed quietly.

Tears stung my eyes as the reality of his words sunk in. He was right. I was all he had left and
he was ultimately all I had left. It was like I was in high school all over again and self
destructing before his eyes. The tears fell and I threw my arms around his neck and hugged
him.

“Daddy, I’m sorry. I didn’t even think about you in all of this,” I admitted.

He wrapped his arms around me, “Bells, I understand. I’ve been there. I just don’t want to go
there again. I get that you have to heal. It’s completely natural, but can we do it together?”

I pulled away from our embrace and forced a smile as I nodded. I stood up, “I’m going to go
and clean up for dinner. I’ll be down in a bit,” I said as I headed for the bathroom.

I heard Charlie retreat down the stairs. I heard some light banging in the kitchen as I got
undressed to take a long over-due shower. I looked in the mirror and noticed that my once
slender, but curvy body was nothing more than a skeleton covered in skin. My hip bones
jutted out and my ribs were protruding. I could see almost every bone in my spine when I
turned around and I couldn’t believe what a mess I had become. I was slowly killing myself in
front of my father and I was disgusted with myself.

I hopped in the shower and got cleaned up. Every time my hands passed over my prominent
bones I felt queasy. Once I was cleaned up I dried off and decided to try and remember what
it felt like to wear clothes and not flannel.

I put on a pair of my favorite jeans and was disgusted with the way they loosely fit on me.
They used to tightly hug my curves, and now they hung loose off my waist and held no shape
what so ever. I put on a looser fitting t-shirt and then headed downstairs to the kitchen where
Charlie had set the table and was just getting dinner out of the warm oven.

I sat in my seat and my stomach growled really loud as the smell filled my nostrils.

I cut out a large piece of the casserole and I’m not even sure I tasted it I ate it so fast. I
debated a second piece, but figured I should give my body time to adjust because I didn’t
want to gorge and then make myself sick.

I sat for twenty minutes while Charlie still worked on his first piece. After twenty minutes I
realized I could definitely go for another piece. So I took a smaller piece and ate it, trying to
be a little more lady-like.

I listened as he filled me in on the goings on in Forks. For that moment while we sat there and
ate our dinner I felt as though things had gone back to normal. I offered to clean up dinner,
and when I was finished I told Charlie I was going to go for a walk. I pulled on my brown

spring jacket and walked out the door. It was lightly drizzling so I pulled my hood up and
walked around the neighborhood with my head down.

I tried to enjoy the fresh air, but it was hard. The memories were flooding back in rapid
succession and before I knew what was happening I was sitting on the lawn in front of the
Weber’s house. I could feel my pants soaking through from the moisture on the lawn, but I
didn’t care. I felt my body temperature drop as I sat there and the rain came down harder,
soaking me to the bone, again, I didn’t care.

When I was finally sure I was cried out, I stood up and continued walking, this time back
towards my dad’s house. I arrived at my final destination in less than ten minutes and I sat on
the front porch, out of the rain, not that it mattered considering I was already soaked. I pulled
my hood down and sat there looking at all the traffic that passed by. Okay, so looking at ANY
traffic that passed by.

Suddenly my eyes saw a silver blur drive by at an alarming speed, pretty gutsy especially
when the cruiser is parked right there on the street. I shrugged and headed back into the house.

As I entered I heard my shoes make that ‘squish’ sound and I cringed. I removed my shoes
and socks and rolled my pants up so I didn’t make a horrible mess as I slowly climbed the
stairs.

I changed back into my flannels and then went downstairs and laid on the couch to watch TV
with Charlie.

I was going to try to make the effort, but I made no guarantees. I didn’t know how long this
would take, all I knew is it would take time.

CHAPTER TWO:

Well another lonely week has passed. Charlie and I hung out at random when he didn’t have
to go to the station to work. I swear some of his deputies were a little dense because it seemed
like Charlie was called in constantly.

I had to go into the hospital today for my weekly appointment with Dr Cullen. I decided to
walk since everywhere in Forks was just a hop, skip and a jump away. Plus, I still couldn’t get
behind the wheel of a vehicle. I actually found it hard when Charlie would drive us to the
diner on Thursday’s for dinner. I felt as though the vehicle walls were closing in on me and I
became short of breath. Thankfully it was a quick drive and usually bolted from the car before
it had come to a complete stop, which was usually met with my father’s very stern glare.

When I arrived at the hospital I went straight to the admittance desk so I could let them know
I was there to see Dr Cullen. I was scheduled for weekly checkups with him about my arm
and to make sure everything else was going okay. Apparently I had a pretty bad concussion
after the accident and I was pretty touch and go when it came to my consciousness. Plus, with
losing Jake and the miscarriage he wanted to be sure that I was doing okay emotionally as
well. I mean, I was starting to come to terms with what had happened, but the pain over
everything that I had lost was still as raw as that first day.

He was a great Doctor and I loved him dearly. Carlisle took care of me whenever I went into
the hospital. Just because I wasn’t friends with Alice and Edward anymore didn’t mean I had
to cut them all from my life. Carlisle and his wife, Esme, had always been there for me and
even tried to talk to Alice for me when she wouldn’t accept my apology. But it was no use. I
had hurt her far beyond anything I could even imagine myself ever being capable of. Of
course, judging from the way my life had turned out so far, I was apparently entirely capable
of such evil doings after all.

I waited for the receptionist, or whatever her job title was, to look up at me before I spoke to
her. She finally looked up from painting her nails some ungodly shade of neon pink and stared
at me blankly.

“Um, hi. I have an appointment to see Dr Cullen. I’m Isabella Swan,” I told her, fidgeting
with my hair and looking around nervously. I noticed her face brighten at the sound of Dr
Cullen’s name. Every single female at this hospital had a crush on him, so I could only
imagine the butterflies they felt when they got to call him or page him to tell him that his next
appointment was here.

She picked up the phone in a hurry, forgetting about her wet nails until it was too late and she
had neon pink polish all over her palm. She silently cursed before smiling and talking into the
phone in a hushed, flirtatious voice. She paused momentarily, “Mmm hmm. Of course. Will
do. Bye-bye,” she purred into the phone in a disgusting display of flirtation with a happily
married man.

I don’t know how he did it. Hell, I wasn’t entirely sure how Esme tolerated it. If women ever
cooed and purred at my husband like that, I’d rip their throats out. Well I would have before--

She waved me away as she picked up a tissue and her nail polish remover and started to clean
her polished palms. So glad to see where my Health Insurance money goes. I rolled my eyes
as I walked down the corridor to Dr Cullen’s office.

As I walked with my head down, counting the tiles on the floor as I walked. I crossed my
arms across my torso and dragged my feet. My head perked up as I heard Dr Cullen’s voice
when I walked past a room to my right. I looked into the room that his voice was coming from
and noticed the curtain was drawn and I could see the silhouette of someone in the bed and
heard the monitors beeping at a slow and steady pace. I could hear a ventilator which, I could
only assume, meant that the patient was being assisted in breathing in order to stay alive.

If that was me, I wouldn’t want to be kept alive that way. I couldn’t imagine being that
person’s family. Knowing their loved one is technically dead and being kept alive by a
machine. It wasn’t right.

I knew, deep down, that this was so incredibly wrong of me, but I couldn’t help but to stop
and listen. I usually wasn’t a nosy person, but his voice was so soft and mesmerizing, for
some reason I couldn’t help it.

Carlisle was standing at the edge of the curtain and just past him I saw another man’s lower
body as he was leaned over the end of the bed. I couldn’t see his face since it was hidden by
Carlisle’s body, but I noticed his arm was bandaged as he held onto the railing at the end of
the bed while his body was slumped over. I could hear the softest of sobbing and it brought
back memories of when I was lying in one of those beds three weeks ago, mourning the loss
of Jake. And my heart broke for this man.

Carlisle stepped forward and laid a hand on the man’s back. I took a step forward to hear what
they were saying, but my shoe squeaked and Carlisle turned around and saw me. I
immediately blushed, “I’m sorry. I’ll go to your office.” And I hurried back down the hall
towards his office. I sat down in the chair across from of his desk and inwardly scolded
myself for being so damn intrusive. What the Hell is wrong with me?

I don’t know how long I sat there for, talking to myself about how stupid and inconsiderate I
was, but finally the door opened and in walked Carlisle. I smiled sheepishly at him as he sat
on the edge of his desk in front of me, my chart in his hand.

“Bella, sweetheart, it’s so good to see you today. I look forward to our little visits,” he said
quietly.

I looked into his golden eyes and smiled apologetically, “I am so sorry. I don’t know what
came over me.”

He just shook his head at me and smiled as if to dismiss the entire episode, “How are you
feeling today?”

“Fine. I mean, as well as can be expected after what happened,” I told him.

He nodded his head and wrote in my chart, “How are you sleeping? Not having any bad
dreams, I hope.”

I shrugged, “I sleep okay. I dream sometimes, but for the most part it’s pretty peaceful.”

He continued busily writing something in my chart. I was curious to see what he was writing,
but then quickly remembered how curiosity bit me in the ass just a little while ago.

“I’m going to take a look at your arm now, if that’s alright,” he told me as he took my arm
and removed the brace. It didn’t hurt as much, but I had a feeling he would tell me to keep it
on a little longer. He replaced the brace and smiled, “Well it’s healing nicely, you have good
mobility and the swelling is less. It can probably come off in a few more weeks.”

He stood up and walked over to me, “I need to check your head to make sure the contusion
has healed.” He began sifting through my hair before finding it. He made a positive sound as
he fixed my hair, “Looks good. Stitches are gone and there is no sign of infection. You are the
picture of health, Bella.”

I smiled up at him as he grabbed my hand and gave it a squeeze. “I have to go and check on
some other patients, but I will see you very soon, dear, alright?”

“Yeah, not a problem. Thanks for seeing me again. I will book another appointment for next
week then.” He simply smiled at me and placed his hand on my cheek before placing a kiss
atop my head. Like I said earlier, he was a great Doctor and I loved him dearly. I considered
him one of my closest friends and definitely as a second father figure.

“See you later, Bella,” he said as he exited his office. I breathed a sigh of relief that
everything with me, at least physically, was looking fine. Sadly, I wished there was something
he could do for my mental well-being. Maybe I would talk to him next week about seeing a
therapist to talk about all the crap in my life lately. I heard talking about it could help.

I gathered up my things and then went to the front desk to see the receptionist so that I could
book my next appointment with him. Her nails must have been dry because she seemed pretty
confident and carefree about sifting through the pen holder to find “the” pen. When she found
it she marked my next appointment down on a business card for me and entered me into the
hospital’s computer. I looked at the appointment card and noticed the pen color she had
chosen was the same neon pink that her nails were and she dotted the “I” in my name with a
heart. And this simple little thing infuriated me because the only “I” in my name was the first
letter and it should have been capitalized. And there was nothing I HATED more than
improper spelling, punctuation, and grammar. UGH!

I left the hospital with my blood practically boiling over something so severely insignificant
and headed towards home. I put my hands in my pockets and walked with my head down the
rest of the way, familiarizing myself with the sidewalks of Forks.

***

I arrived at home to find Charlie sitting in his recliner watching television. He was watching
some sports show. I wasn’t really paying attention. I decided to sit and watch TV with him. I
sat on the couch and tucked my legs up to my body.

Charlie spoke up, “Hey Bells. How was your day?”

I shrugged, “It was alright. I saw Dr Cullen today. He says I am the picture of health.”

“Dr. Cullen takes such good care of you. I’m always so happy to hear that you’re doing well.
If we have to go through this mess, at least we have him to help you through it.” I smiled and
nodded in response before turning my attention back to the television.

I tried to watch the baseball game with Charlie, but I just couldn’t get into it. I didn’t
understand sports and there was a good chance I never would. My stomach growled and
Charlie must have heard it because he looked at me and smiled.

He cleared his throat, "I don’t know about you, but I’m starved. For what it's worth, I wish I
could cook so I'd know you were eating right. You need to keep your strength up, Bells."

“Actually I’m pretty famished. How about I go and make us some spaghetti?” I suggested as I
stood up and headed for the kitchen. I took some ground beef out of the freezer and defrosted
it in the microwave for a few minutes. I chopped some vegetables and put them aside for
when the meat was cooking.

When the microwave beeped I grabbed the beef and put it in the sauce pan. As I began to
cook the beef and vegetables, I put a pot of water on to boil. Once the meat and vegetables
were cooked I added the sauce and spices and let it simmer while the noodles cooked.

This was probably one of the least complex meals I could make. I always used to really enjoy
cooking and figured maybe I could try and cook a little more to get my mind off of things and
try to move on. I used to find it really therapeutic, so I guess it was worth a shot.

I tried to think of other household things I could do to help aid in moving on and trying to
learn to live a normal life again. There was cleaning and laundry, grocery shopping and yard
work. I could do a ton of stuff around the house to keep me occupied while Charlie was at
work. I started to get a little excited at the prospect of doing all these things.

I decided that a trip to the market would be in order since our fridge was looking pretty bare.
So I grabbed a pen and a pad of paper and decided to make a grocery list. That would occupy
a few hours of my day tomorrow. I definitely didn’t want to do everything in one day or I
would be bored stupid for the rest of the week.

When dinner was ready Charlie came into the kitchen without any need for me to call him. He
sat at the table and we dished up. It was an unusually quiet meal with the occasional comment
from him on how his day at the station was.

“Jessica asked about you today,” he laughed nervously, “You know, I thought it would be a
mistake to hire her to work the front desk at the station, but she’s actually pretty personable.
She says she wants to come by one day if that’s alright,”

I swallowed the bite of pasta in my mouth, “Yeah. That would be great. I haven’t seen Jess in
forever. It would be nice to see her again.”

Jessica Stanley and I became friends after I was horrible to Alice and Rosalie. Jessica is
actually the one who introduced me to the party scene. Sure, probably not the best choice in
friends, but she was all I had. And she was very understanding when I stopped going to her

parties in favor of hanging out at home. She was a pretty good person most of the time. We
had our differences, but that was only when it came to her on again off again boy-toy, Mike
Newton who always had a thing for me, even though I was never interested. I think she was
just jealous of all the attention he showed me every time they were ‘off again’.

We finished eating our meal and then I cleaned up the dishes while Charlie went back to the
living room to watch TV. I decided to sit at the kitchen table with a crossword puzzle before
turning in for the night.

I was in the middle of my puzzle when Charlie entered the kitchen, “I have to head back to
the station for a bit. I may not see you until tomorrow, so have a good night.” He crossed the
room and kissed my forehead before heading out the front door.

I finished the puzzle and then decided it was time for bed. I was physically and mentally
drained. I went into the bathroom and brushed my teeth, washed my face and brushed my
hair. When I was done my evening routine I found my way to my room and changed into my
shorts and t-shirt for bed.

I snuggled deep down into the warm duvet that covered my bed and turned off my night side
lamp and waited for the sleep to claim me.

***

I’m not sure how it happened or where exactly I was, but I found myself standing on the side
of a winding forest road in the dead of night. Like I said, I wasn’t sure where exactly I was,
but it was raining and the roads were slick with a layer of water. I should have felt a chill,
considering I was in a knee length strapless green dress and the rain was falling down from
the sky in sheets.

I had to put my hand over my eyes to shield them from the rain so I could try to see what was
going on. I heard a loud engine coming from one direction and loud music coming from the
other. I tried squinting my eyes to see if I could recognize any familiar markings so I could
narrow down my location, but the rain made it hard to see much of anything.

Then I saw lights, and they were coming fast. As they approached I could hear the music more
clearly. I strained my eyes as I tried to see if I could recognize who it was, but they were still
too far away and the rain was still too thick.

I heard the loud engine coming closer from behind me. I turned and saw a second set of lights
coming around the bend even faster than the other vehicle. I tried to wave to get their
attention, but the darkness paired with the rainfall made it near impossible for anyone to see
anything. I screamed, but even my own voice got lost in the rain and wind. I pushed my wet
hair back off of my face hoping I’d be able to see a little bit better, but it didn’t help.

I looked in one direction at one of the approaching vehicles and then turned frantically in the
other direction towards the other one. Screaming and waving, hoping that someone would see
me and stop or even slow down. They were both going far too fast for these weather
conditions.

I had this feeling of impending doom and heartache looming over me as I watched this
happening before my very eyes. And I felt so damn helpless since I couldn’t do anything to
stop it.

I turned back in the direction of the vehicle with the loud engine as it approached me and I
recognized it immediately. It was a red VW Rabbit.

Shit! It was Jake!

Realization dawned on me as I figured out what I was about to witness. I ran towards the car
waving my arms in the air wildly and screaming as loud as I could only to be met with the
thundering engine and the whistling wind carrying my voice in the opposite direction.

The two speeding vehicles were approaching each other more rapidly than I could stand. I
didn’t understand why both of them were going so fast. I ignored the other vehicle in favor of
the VW Rabbit so I could save Jake. Even with the rain soaking me to the bone, I could feel
the hot tears falling from my eyes and onto my cheeks.

And then it was as if the entire world seemed to slow down around me. I felt as though I was
still going at a normal pace compared to the rest of the world. The wind slowed down and the
rain felt like a light drizzle on my skin as I watched Jake’s car crawl past me at a slow
leisurely pace. His eyes connected with mine. Our eyes stayed locked as he passed me. I
temporarily froze in fear before I snapped out of it and remembered what was about to
happen in the next few minutes.

“LOOK OUT!” I shrieked.

Then time sped up again and I heard the screech of tires and the crunch of metal on metal as I
fell to my knees, grabbing at the hair on the sides of my head and screamed.

“NOOOOOOOO!”

CHAPTER THREE:

I awoke from the dream with tears streaming down my face. I climbed out of bed, sniffling
and wiping at my eyes. I hugged my arms around my body and walked quietly to my dad’s
room to see if he was home yet. His bed was still made and empty, which meant he was still
at the station.

I felt so alone and so incredibly scared. I didn’t know what to do or how to deal with this. I
needed to talk to somebody, anybody. But it was after midnight, and no one would be up. So I
descended the stairs and went to the living room where I sat on the couch and hugged my
knees to my chest and waited for Charlie to get home. I turned on the TV in hopes that
something would be on to distract me.

I flipped the channel to TBS and it was some car racing show. Nope. I changed the channel
and there was a happy couple holding their newborn baby. Double nope. Third time’s a
charm, right? I changed it again and found a show with a bunch of girls laughing and being
BFF’s. Fuck me. I shut off the TV and just sat there in the silence, hoping that Charlie would
be here soon.

***

“Bella, wake up, please,” a soft voice called out to me, threatening to pull me from my sleep. I
felt fingers lightly graze the back of my hand as I lifted my head, my eyes felt heavy. I was
met with a white, blinding light as my eyes adjusted to the sunlight streaming into the room.

As they adjusted I realized I was still on the couch with my legs tucked up into my body.

“Well, kiddo. Sorry I didn’t make it back last night, you know how things are at the station
some nights. I feel awful.” Charlie said as he sat in his recliner across from the couch.

I yawned and looked at his tired looking eyes, “No, it’s okay. I tried to watch a little TV, but
fell asleep.”

“It just feels like there’s so much to do anymore and I don’t know that I am handling any of
what has happened to the best of my ability. I feel like I’m letting you down in the worst way.
I don’t think I have ever felt like more of a failure when it comes to you,” his voice broke and
tears fell from his eyes.

Charlie didn’t cry often, but when he did, my heart ached. I stood up and went and sat on the
arm of his chair and wrapped my arms around him and tried to reassure him that everything
was fine.

“Daddy, you’re not a failure. You are doing everything you possibly can. It’s me that’s
completely messed up.”

Charlie laid his hand upon mine and smiled at me, wiping his eyes with the other hand,
“You’re my baby, Bella. Always have been and you always will be. I just wish this wouldn’t
take so damn long to get through, you know? I feel like it’s slowly killing me, and I’m really
trying to be strong for you, to help you pull through this. We need a miracle, Bella.”

I hugged him again, “Our miracle will come. We just need to give it time. You do what you
have to do and I will try my hardest to do what I have to do. Everything will be okay, I can
feel it.”

We sat there in silence as I hugged him. I heard him curse under his breath, “Shit, I didn’t
realize what time it was. I wish I could stay and talk some more, it pains me that I can’t be
here for you more. I just came to check in and make sure you’re doing alright. I have to head
back out for a bit,” he said, his voice heavy with regret, I assume for leaving me alone so
much.

I shrugged, “That’s okay. I have to run to the market for groceries anyways,” I told him as I
stood up and kissed him on top of the head and then started to walk away.

“I love you, Bells,” he said as he looked up at me. Seriously, the man looked completely
wiped and exhausted. He was working far too much. I hoped they cut him some slack soon
and let him have a few days off to rest. What good was the Chief of Police if he was too tired
to do his job? I’m thinking, no good at all. And I didn’t need my father getting shot because
he was too tired to take the necessary precautions. I couldn’t lose him too. I would probably
die if anything happened to him.

I smiled, “Love you too, Dad.” I walked up the stairs and headed to the bathroom. Once I
locked the door, I turned on the hot water and got undressed. I climbed under the hot spray of
water and tried to scrub away my nightmares.

Once I felt I was clean and my skin was rubbed raw I climbed out and dried myself off. I
headed to my room and found a pair of jeans and a t-shirt in my closet. I grabbed my bra and
underwear from my dresser and proceeded to get dressed.

I quickly ran a brush through my hair and then piled it atop my head with an elastic and
rushed out the door. I was walking down the sidewalk when I realized that I was going to
need a vehicle to bring the groceries home.

Shit! I so didn’t think this whole thing through.

I paused and stared at my decrepit old truck that I hadn’t driven since the week of the
accident. I put on my resolve face and ran back up the stairs to grab my keys from the hook by
the door.

I re-locked the front door and walked very slowly to my truck. I eyed it up and down
nervously like it was a wild animal preparing to strike, which it sort of was.

I stood by the driver’s side door with the key in the lock. I held my hand on the key, but
couldn’t find the strength to turn it. I let go of the key and stepped back as though it had
suddenly burned me. I put my hands over my mouth and stood there, staring.

Then I heard loud music coming in my direction really fast. I turned in the direction it was
coming from and before I knew what happened the vehicle whizzed past me in a silver blur.

I shook my head in disbelief that that driver had so little disregard for others on the road. This
was not the first time I saw this “blur”. In fact I saw it just about every damn day. It drives by

my house at some ridiculous speed and I’m sure never gets caught. I’d have to talk to Charlie
about this person.

“You can do this, Bella. You have to do this. It’s okay,” I told myself as I tried to prepare
myself to get into my vehicle.

I took a deep breath and stepped forward and turned the key before taking it out and opening
the door. I exhaled and then stepped closer to the inside of the truck. I stood beside the truck
with the door open. I could smell the old leather interior and it brought back a flood of
memories, but this time, they were pleasant memories. We’d go on dates a majority of the
time in this truck.

I took another tentative step forward and ran my hand along the leather interior, I guess,
familiarizing myself with the truck again. I’m sure I looked like a complete moron to anyone
that passed by me, but I had to do this in my own time. I had to make sure I was ready.

I closed my eyes, grabbed the steering wheel, inhaled a deep breath and hopped in, quickly
closing the door behind me. I kept my eyes closed as I exhaled and inhaled slowly a few
times. I slowly wrapped my good hand around the steering wheel and opened my eyes. I
gripped my key in my braced hand and slid it into the ignition and turned it while double
pumping the clutch to get it to turn over, just like he had taught me.

The truck roared to life like the giant beast that I remembered it to be. I smiled at myself, at
the progress I had made today. I was still a little nervous and hadn’t put it into gear yet, but
this was the first step, and I was pretty damn proud.

I sat there listening to the engine for a while, getting used to it. I put my seat belt on and then
put the truck into gear and pulled very slowly away from the curb.

I couldn’t help the smile that spread across my face as I slowly made my way to the market. I
am sure I was going fifteen miles below the legal limit, but I was trying to be careful, plus this
was HUGE for me, I wanted to enjoy every second of it.

I reached the market and found a prime parking spot close to the doors. I hopped out of my
truck and put my keys in my pocket before I headed in.

I found a cart and pushed it into the store before pulling out my grocery list. As I walked up
and down the aisles, I pulled items off the shelves that were on my list, and a few that
weren’t. I was poking around in the fresh produce section and I was looking at the fruit
selection when I heard a tiny voice behind me.

“Bella?” I turned in the direction of the familiar voice.

I was staring right into the sea green eyes of my old best friend, Alice Cullen. I was shocked. I
couldn’t believe it.

“Alice,” I said, not doing a great job at concealing my shock at running into her in the market,
of all places. She looked amazing as usual. She was wearing the latest designer fashion. Her
short raven colored hair was styled immaculately, as it always was.

“How are you doing?” she asked apprehensively. Which could only mean she’s talked to her
father about my accident. I shrugged in response and she smiled at me, “Well, you look well,
so that’s something I guess.”

I couldn’t help but stare at her and wonder why she was talking to me. Out of pity? Did she
want to try and re-mend our long lost friendship? I was so confused. I mean of course I
wanted Alice and I to be close again, but was she doing it because she wanted to truly be my
friend or simply because she knew what I was going through because her dad told her. I
couldn’t be too sure about anything anymore. I had turned into such a skeptic about
everything lately.

“I’m sorry I didn’t get to see you sooner. We just moved to Seattle and were settling in. We
hurried in as soon as we could though.” She reached out and grabbed my hand.

Still extremely confused, I started to ask, “Alice, why--”

She shrugged, “I figured you could really use a friend right about now. We're all just so
worried about you, especially Edward. He misses you so much.”

I hadn’t seen these people in almost ten years all because I was a horrible bitch to them after
my mom died. Alice was being so nice it made me feel even worse about what I had done to
her. I looked at her and smiled, “Thanks. That really means a lot to me.”

Alice smiled at me, “I miss you so much Bella,” she said, her voice cracking and tears
streaming from her eyes.

“Oh, Alice! I miss you too!” I pulled her tiny frame into my arms and hugged her as though I
was afraid I’d never see her again or that I’d wake up and realize this was all just one big
dream.

I let Alice go and she walked with me as I finished my shopping. We both poked and prodded
at the fresh fruits and vegetables before moving onto the bread section of the market.

Alice was talking about their new place in Seattle when I heard a man’s voice from behind us.

“Alice?” I turned and was looking into the grey-blue eyes of Jasper Hale. Alice smiled
brightly when she saw him. She and Jasper were soul mates. We all knew this from the day
they met on the playground in kindergarten.

“Hey, Bella. You look great. I hope things start looking up for you soon. We all miss you
terribly and would really love to catch up soon,” he told me. I always felt at ease when Jasper
was around. He was such a good friend and I could only hope that he wanted to forget all that
I had done to them in the past as well.

“Al, I really hate to break this up, but your mom called and said she needs us to stop by the
house,” he said, looking at me apologetically.

Alice looked up into my eyes, “I’m sorry, but you know how Esme can get,” she said
laughing. “Maybe we could hang out tomorrow.”

I nodded and pulled her into one more hug.

“It was really good seeing you again, B. See you soon, alright?” he said as he reached forward
and gave my arm a light squeeze.

I watched as they walked towards the checkout to pay so they could leave, and I couldn’t
believe that Alice and Jasper were really ready to try and forgive me. I felt like a tiny sliver of
sunshine was trying to break through the dark cloud that had been hanging over me since the
accident.

Of course, my life seemed to be plagued with nothing but thunderstorms and torrential rain
lately, so I couldn’t help but hold myself back from getting too excited. It seemed all too
likely that something horrible would happen to tear me back down just when I was starting to
feel hopeful again. I hated having to shield my heart like this, but it was the only thing I knew
right now.

I finished grocery shopping and loaded them into the truck and drove home, once, again going
way below the speed limit. I had people honking at me and passing me and flipping me the
finger, but I didn’t care.

I pulled up into my spot to see that Charlie still wasn’t home. But that was okay, I planned to
make him one of his favorite meals for when he got home and hope that it would help him
relax. I just hoped the morons down at the station didn’t need to call him in. He needed some
long overdue sleep. I was seriously worried about him.

I put a roast in the oven and then started to put the rest of the groceries away. I couldn’t
believe how bare our cupboards had gotten. It was actually pretty sad.

I was putting stuff up in the junk food cupboard when I pulled a box of mint chocolate chip
cookies out of the bag. I immediately dropped them onto the floor. I couldn’t even believe I
had bought them. I HATED mint chocolate chip cookies. And Charlie didn’t eat them either.
There was only one person in the world I knew that liked them. And he wasn’t even here to
enjoy them.

Fuck. Even in my attempt to try and do everything I could think of to keep me from turning
into the zombie I feared I was becoming, I did these things without even thinking. Which just
further cemented my zombie status.

I fell to the floor on my knees and dropped my head into my hands and cried. I felt so stupid.
To someone on the outside looking in it probably only looked like I was crying over dropping
a box of chocolate chip cookies, but no, I was completely and utterly destroyed about how
different my life had become in a matter of seconds. That’s all the time it took to take
everything from me. It didn’t seem fair. I thought I was making some sort of progress today,
only to be met with this damn box of motherfucking cookies to bring me crashing back into
the reality that was my fucked up existence.

I wiped the tears off my cheeks and stood up, putting the cookies in the cupboard and willing
myself to carry on with what I was doing. I refused to stay broken. Sure this was going to take
time. I didn’t know exactly how much time it would take, but I was determined to take the
time I needed in order to move on.

I would always be sad over the loss of Jake and our unborn child and I couldn’t guarantee that
I would never cry over it again, but I didn’t have to let it consume every part of my being for
the rest of my life. I needed to try and get the old Bella back for Charlie. And more
importantly, for me.

I finished putting the groceries away while dinner cooked. I finished fairly quickly and
decided I needed something to do to keep me busy. I didn’t want to do any other household
chores since I wanted to make sure I saved some stuff for tomorrow, so I decided to whip out
the crossword puzzles.

As the hours passed and the roast cooked, I sat at the table and worked on my puzzles while I
waited for Charlie to get home. I think I made it through two puzzles by the time dinner was
ready. It was now six and Charlie was still not home. I was starting to grow concerned since
he usually called if he was going to be late.

I was afraid that maybe something had happened and was just about to call the station when
the front door opened and he walked in through the front door. I breathed a sigh of relief as I
heard his heavy footsteps enter the room.

“Hey, sweetie. Sorry I’m late. I didn’t mean to get so caught up today.” He sat at the table and
I brought him his dinner and set it in front of him.

“No worries. I got some quality puzzle time in, so all was good,” I told him.

We ate dinner while he talked more about his day. It was all pretty routine for him. Patrolled,
caught a couple of vandals spray painting the back of the hardware store. Pulled over a few
speeders. Nothing too dangerous, which made me happy.

After dinner was done I cleaned up as he sat at the table and read the paper he never got to
read this morning because he couldn’t stick around. When the kitchen was all clean I turned
around and noticed he wasn’t reading the paper anymore, but rather he had slumped over onto
the table and fallen asleep. I smiled at this sight and tried to wake him, but it was impossible.
He was so tired. So, instead, I walked to the table and sat beside him and laid my head down
and held his hand, and I too fell into a blissful, dreamless sleep.

CHAPTER FOUR:

Well, another week had passed. I was making more and more progress each and every day.
Sure, I still had my issues, like when I watched TV and certain shows or commercials would
bring everything flooding back, but it had only been a week, so I was happy with ANY
progress. I wasn’t setting any unrealistic goals for myself.

Charlie was able to start being home a little more, and that was nice. We resumed our
Thursday night ritual of eating at the diner now that he wasn’t working as much. He said he’d
try to be around more for me, and he was staying true to his word. So now I had to do my part
and try my best to let him help me through this.

Alice had stopped by a few times and we would just sit and visit. We talked about old times
again. We didn’t bring up any of the awful things that had happened in high school, since I
am sure neither one of us wanted to be reminded of that. We would talk for what seemed like
hours before she had to go. I was always sad to see her go. It felt as though I would never see
her again as soon as she walked out that door.

I was getting more comfortable behind the wheel. Some days I found myself remembering
everything and feeling the same apprehensions I was before, where I felt locked in and
claustrophobic, but that usually only happened after one of my nightmares. I was having them
a little more frequently than I’d like. So far, it was always the same dream, only I was in
different perspectives each time.

There was the one where I was on the side of the road and watching it happen, that was the
most popular. Other times I was in the Rabbit with Jake pleading with him to slow down, but
it was as if he couldn’t hear or see me, so he kept up the speed. I tried warning him of what
was going to happen, but again it was like talking to a brick wall.

But the most recent was also the most unnerving of them all. I was actually in the other
vehicle. I tried looking at the driver to see if I could recognize them, but I only saw a faceless
person. They were completely unrecognizable. I honestly couldn’t even tell if it was a male or
a female. I tried pulling on their arm to get their attention. I tried to turn down the music, but
it was like I was a ghost and my fingers just passed right through the dial. It was a completely
messed up dream and I awoke more upset after that one than the one where I was in the
vehicle with Jake.

The dreams all ended the same way though. The crash that claimed Jake’s life. And I always
awoke the same way. Crying into my pillow, so that Charlie wouldn’t hear, and willing my
brain to forget what I had just witnessed and been unable to stop. Even my own dreams
betrayed me. Some nights I fell back into a dreamless sleep, but others I found myself wide
awake and staring into nothingness, no matter what I tried. I can’t even remember the last
time I dreamed a happy dream.

Today, I was on my way to see Carlisle for my weekly appointment. I was hoping that we
could remove the brace today. My hand and wrist felt great, I was having no issues with them
whatsoever.

I pulled into the parking lot at the hospital and climbed out of my truck. Today was a good
day so far, so I was pleased and I could only hope it would get better. I walked into the

hospital and the receptionist wasn’t at her desk. I waited for ten minutes but she didn’t return,
so I just headed straight for Carlisle’s office, hoping that was okay and that he wasn’t with
anyone else.

As I was walking there, I looked to my right into that same room I saw Carlisle in last week to
see the curtain was still drawn and I could hear the ventilator still going. I didn’t stop walking,
but I slowed my pace. Behind the curtain I could see the silhouette of two people standing
side by side, next to the bed. It appeared as if they had their arms around each other, trying to
console one another while they faced whatever obstacle that was put in front of them
concerning their loved one. I faced forward and continued on my journey to Carlisle’s office.
I knocked on his partially closed door and it swung open. I saw Esme sitting at his desk with
him.

My face brightened. I hadn’t seen Esme in what seemed like forever, even though in reality it
had only been a little over a month. She turned her head to me and she was positively radiant,
just as she always was.

“Bella,” she said as she stood up and walked towards me. I felt her warm hand on my cheek
before she pulled me in for a tight embrace. I wrapped my arms around her as tightly as I
could, inhaling her jasmine scented perfume.

She was the closest thing to a mother I had known in the last ten years and I promised myself
in this moment that I was going to try and do my best to see her more often, as well as the rest
of the Cullens.

Esme let me go and looked into my eyes as she tucked my hair behind my ears, “I can’t even
begin to tell you how much we all miss you and how worried we have been since this all
happened. Alice tells me she stopped by for a visit. I can’t tell you how much that pleases me.
She’s been so worried about losing touch with you again now that she and Jasper are living in
Seattle.”

I smiled as I looked at her. She was stunning, a complete knock out. I know remembered why
she didn’t worry about all the women around here flirting with Carlisle. Because he already
had the best there was to be had waiting for him at home. Her green eyes and dark blonde
hair. Her perfect hourglass figure. She was absolute perfection in human form.

“I missed her so much. And I miss you, too. All of you,” I told her.

Carlisle stood up and came to my side, “Bella, I’m going to remove your wrist brace to see
how your wrist is, if that’s alright,” he told me quietly. Esme took my left hand in hers and
gave it a gentle squeeze. I squeezed back and smiled at her as Carlisle lifted my right arm and
removed my brace.

He smiled as he moved my wrist up and down and then side to side, “Well, everything looks
great here. I don’t think we need the brace anymore.”

I smiled and breathed a sigh of relief. I felt as though one huge weight had been lifted off my
shoulder. And that weight was the only piece of physical evidence that this stupid accident
ever happened at all. I was hoping this was the thing I needed to help me put it behind me
once and for all. I mean, I’m not completely naïve I knew that it would take more than just

removing the brace, but it seemed that having to face that uncomfortable piece of blue
material covered plastic that wrapped around my wrist every day, just reminded me of what
had happened. So if it wasn’t there, what was left to remind me?

Besides the dreams and the occasional shit TV channel, I mean. I felt like this could be a huge
step in my healing process.

“I trust that you have been well otherwise, lately?” Carlisle asked.

“Yeah. I’m doing great.” I told him ecstatically.

Carlisle and Esme both smiled at me. Esme leaned into me, “Edward didn’t want me to say
anything to you, but I think you should know that he’s having a really hard time dealing with
everything that’s happened. He sees you every day, but he can’t bring himself to talk to you
yet; he just doesn’t know what to say. I don’t mean to go against his wishes by telling you
this, but I wanted to reassure you that he’s here and that he cares about you. Ok?” Esme told
me, almost in a hushed whisper, as if Edward were here and she were telling me the secret to
life.

What did she mean ‘he sees me every day’? I thought about it and then realization dawned on
me. I remembered that Edward drove a silver Volvo in high school, and he was rarely one to
obey the speed limits. Did he really still drive it? The silver blur was really the only daily
constant in my life right now. It had to be him.

I stood there, frozen, trying to process this revelation. I was completely stunned. Why didn’t
the loser just pull over and come talk to me? Was I really that unapproachable? What was he
afraid of? No one else was afraid to talk to me.

I know we were never close, but Alice kept telling me how much he missed me, and I had to
admit I missed him, too. The few times we did hang out in high school, we had fun. And now
to hear that he was practically stalking me but couldn’t bring himself to talk to me? What the
shit was that about?

Esme looked at her watch and then back at me with deep regret, “Oh dear. I have to get
running. I thought I had more time, but I have to meet a client in a half hour. Bella, we need to
do this more often.” She kissed my cheek and then rushed out the door waving at Carlisle as
she left.

I turned my attention back to Carlisle as he waved to the chair indicating for me to have a
seat. I did and we sat in silence for a few minutes before he cleared his throat.

“There’s no easy way to say this, so I’m just going to lay it out there for you,” he began.

I didn’t like where this was heading. We were back in ‘doctor mode’. I hated ‘doctor mode’.

“Clearly, I’m worried about you. We all are,” he began as he pinched the bridge of his nose,
and in that moment I was reminded of Edward, he used to do it all the time when we were
younger and he was upset or frustrated. I now knew where he got that from.

Carlisle continued as he leaned forward on his desk, lacing his hands together in front of him,
“Your father has expressed some concern about your recovery. I have assured him we are
doing everything we can, but he is sure that there is more we should be doing.” He exhaled a
big breath before he spoke again, his voice quiet, “I need your help, Bella. Please.”

I nodded, I just wasn’t sure what else I could do. From where I was standing in this life I was
living, Charlie seemed to be doing better lately than he was in the past few weeks. Did he hear
me crying most nights after my dreams? That could really be the only explanation to why he
would come to Carlisle concerned about my recovery.

I mean, I didn’t expect either of us to just get over this shit over night and I couldn’t imagine
it was easy to see your child go through what I had been through. Especially when that child
was all you had left in the world. I figured things were going great. Well, comparatively to
how they were going a few weeks ago, anyways. To be told they weren’t upset me more than
words could express.

“I’m not saying this with the intention of putting pressure on you or even to upset you in your
condition, but we are all so incredibly worried about you. We love you so much Bella,” he
said, his brow was marked with worry. And we were now out of ‘doctor mode’ and into
‘over-protective second father mode’.

I leaned forward and laid my hand upon his, which were still clenched together in front of
him, “I will try my best to do what I can to get through to him that this sort of thing just takes
time,” I assured him as I stood up, “Thank you. I’ll see you next week.” I turned to leave his
office.

I was almost out the door when he spoke again, “Edward will come around soon, Bella. He
just needs time to deal with this in his own way. I’ll have a word with him and let him know
how much it would help you to hear from him, but please be patient with him in the
meantime. You mean more to him than you know. I'll see you soon.”

I nodded in his direction and left his office. As I was walking down the hall, I looked into that
room again. It was empty save for the patient lying in the bed. I faced forward and kept
walking. I booked my next appointment, the receptionist not speaking a word to me, just
writing down my appointment for me and putting me into the computer.

I climbed in my truck started driving towards home, all the while thinking about what Carlisle
had said to me and how I would broach the subject with Charlie. I stopped at a red light and
remained there, lost in my thoughts. When it turned green I proceeded to go. I was halfway
into the intersection when I heard a loud blaring honk as some asshole driver flew through the
intersection in front of me, running a red light. He was driving at a ridiculous speed in a green
car screaming profanities at me and giving me the finger.

I completely froze. My hands were at ten and two on the wheel and were so tightly gripped
that my knuckles were white. I stared ahead, not blinking, and couldn’t bring myself to drive.
All that was running through my head was that I was almost involved in another accident, all
because some jerk didn’t notice his red light.

I heard honking from behind me and I snapped out of my comatose state long enough to put
the truck in drive and remove myself, very slowly, from of the intersection. I pulled over as

soon as I was through and shut the truck off. I pulled the keys out of the ignition and threw
them across the truck as if they were a poisonous snake poised to attack. I heard them hit the
passenger side window and then clatter somewhere onto the floor as I began to hyperventilate
and tears fell from my eyes.

I couldn’t regain control, it’s as if the entire morning just went to Hell and took me right along
with it. First hearing that Charlie really wasn’t doing as well as I thought he was and then me
almost getting into an accident again, exactly one month after the last accident I was in. It’s as
though any and all progress I had made was long gone and I felt as though I was starting over.

“No!” I screamed at myself. I would not let myself be defeated this easily. I couldn’t. I had to
be strong and prove to Charlie that everything WAS going to be okay and completely
disprove everything he had said to Carlisle. I wiped the tears from my eyes and sat in my
truck for a few minutes trying to regain any composure that I could.

I wasn’t ready to drive anywhere just yet, so I figured since I was on Main Street I may as
well go for a walk and kill a little time and try to clear my head. There wasn’t much to be seen
in Forks, but I needed to do something to keep my mind off of everything that had just
happened.

I unbuckled my seat belt and leaned towards the passenger side and fumbled around on the
floor until I found my keys. I picked them up and stepped out of the truck, locking it. Not that
anyone would steal this beast.

I stepped onto the sidewalk and was walking along looking into the windows of the various
shops. There was the hardware store, the Newton’s sporting goods store. Seriously, nothing of
great interest. I began to wonder why I stayed in this town. Why Jake and I didn’t move
somewhere a little bigger. Had we done that, none of this would have happened and he’d still
be here with me.

I shook my head free of that ridiculous thought. I knew that regardless of where we were, with
my luck, this shit would still have found me, so I decided not to dwell on the ‘what could’ve
beens’ and decided to just focus on what to do right now to try and get the most out of my life
that I could.

I saw the library up ahead and decided to go in. Maybe I could find a good book to read. I
always found reading more therapeutic than cooking since I could actually escape into the
worlds that the authors created. Hopefully curling up with a good book would help bring me
out of my funk.

I was just outside the door when my cell phone rang. I fumbled around in my jacket pocket
for it and found it. I didn’t recognize the number, so I answered it apprehensively, hoping it
wasn’t a sales person trying to upgrade my cell phone package or a telemarketer or a survey
taker. Those calls pissed me off.

“Hello?” I said into the phone.

“Bella?” I heard a quiet voice reply, “Bella? Can you hear me?”

“Yeah. Who is this?” I asked. I thought I recognized the voice, but he was so quiet and held
back, it was hard to be sure, especially over the phone.

“I knew this was a bad idea. Shit, I feel so stupid, I don’t even know if you’re there or if you
can even hear me,” he mumbled, “But I just wanted to tell you that I miss you, so much.” It
was then that I was sure I knew who it was.

“No! I can hear you. Edward? Is that you?” I yelled into the phone, plugging my other ear in
order to hear him better.

I hated cell phones for this reason exactly. I always got the crappiest reception on my cell
phone and lately I was having more and more dropped calls or calls where the other party
couldn’t even hear me. It was really frustrating and I planned to call my cell phone provider
about it this afternoon.

“I’m so worried about you and I hope that you can hear me. Actually what I really want is for
you to respond. To talk to me and let me know that you are alright,” he said quietly.

“UGH! Edward, I’m here! Hold on, let me see if I can go somewhere where my reception is
better,” I told him as I started to walk away from the library. I felt like such a moron as I
totally mimicked that ‘Can you hear me now’ guy from the cell phone commercials. People
were looking at me strangely as I passed them. I tried to not pay any attention to them.

“Look, I have to go for now. I’ll try his again later though, okay? I promise. I really hope
you’re doing alright. I couldn’t bear it if you weren’t. I’ll see you later.” And with that, he
was gone and I was met with dead air.

I pulled the phone away from my ear and yelled directly at the phone, “Son of a bitchin’ piece
of shit!”

His last words were ‘I’ll see you later’ which just solidified that he was more than likely my
mystery silver blur. And tonight, I’d be waiting for him.

However, until then, I decided to head back to my truck, completely forgetting about the
library in my suddenly foul mood. I was going to have to call the cell phone company later
and give them a piece of my mind.

I unlocked my truck and climbed inside, too angry about the bad reception to be nervous
about driving again. I started the truck and pulled back out onto the street and drove home.

The whole drive home I tried to think about what I would say to Edward when I saw him. I
was pissed that he was practically stalking me and didn’t have the balls to say anything to me.
But a part of me was grateful that he wanted to be friends with me especially after how I
treated his little sister.

I didn’t know what I would say to him or if he would even stop to talk to me.

All I knew is that I wanted every part of my old life back that I could have, and I was willing
to rebuild it piece by piece.

Even if that took an eternity.

CHAPTER FIVE:

That night I sat on my porch waiting to see him. He said he’d see me later and I was going to
hold him to that. No more of this pseudo-stalker bullshit. I sat on the bottom step and just
stared at the street. It was barely six in the evening and Charlie still wasn’t home. Which was
probably good, because I still hadn’t cooked dinner. I parked myself on this step as soon as I
got home. I hadn’t even been inside yet.

And then, as if out of nowhere, I heard it. The music. I stood up and looked in the direction
the music was coming from. And then I saw it…or rather didn’t see it. The familiar blur. It
didn’t stop, so I took off down the sidewalk after it to see where it was going. I knew I wasn’t
going to catch it, but instinct took over and I just ran.

I ran eight houses down and stopped dead in my tracks when I saw it. The silver Volvo,
sitting two more houses down the block. I was shocked. I walked towards it slowly, suddenly
very nervous. I had no idea what I was going to say or do, but I wanted to know why he drove
by every day without talking to me.

I was standing right next to the passenger side door as I took a deep breath and leaned forward
and peered inside. It was empty. I stood up and ran my fingers through my hair. I was so
confused. I was ready to admit defeat when I turned around to head back home and found
myself face to face with Edward Cullen.

I sucked in a deep breath and shoved my hands into my jacket pocket as I kicked at nothing
on the ground. I found myself suddenly speechless and for some reason, I felt as nervous
around him now as I did in high school.

“Hey,” he said in his husky voice. I looked up into his emerald green eyes and he looked
worried as he took a few tentative steps towards me, “I’m sorry for not saying anything for all
this time. I just didn’t know what to say or how I could make any of this better for you.”

I looked up at him and the words just fell out of my mouth, “So instead you decided stalking
me was the best way to get my attention?”

He looked at me as though I had just slapped him, “I’ve never been through anything like this
before, so I guess I sort of panicked.”

I stood there just looking at him as he took a few more steps towards me. He finally reached
me and took my hands into his and looked into my eyes, “I miss you so much,” he told me as
his thumbs stroked the back of my hands.

I felt a jolt of electricity from his touch and a part of me liked it. But I suddenly felt as though
I was betraying Jake, so I quickly jerked my hands away and stepped back a few feet.

My body froze as the memories of Jake came flooding back. The beginning of our
relationship, our engagement, our wedding. All of it came in flashes.

I don’t know how long I was stood there, completely unresponsive, but suddenly I felt a warm
hand on my cheek and I looked up to see Edward right in front of me again, “Snap out of it,
would ya?” he said, smiling that crooked smile I remembered so well.

I smiled back at him, “Sorry. I got caught up in my thoughts there for a second.” I paused for
a minute, leaning into his touch before rationality came back to me and I pulled away. I
decided to turn the focus back to him, “So, what have you been up to?”

Edward looked at me and smiled, “I’ve actually put in a lot of hours at the hospital lately.
Feels like I’m always there anymore,” he told me as he ran his fingers through his hair
nervously.

I was impressed, but couldn’t for the life of me remember Carlisle or Esme telling me that
Edward had become a Doctor. It seemed like something they would want to brag about. I
couldn't think of anything to say, so I pulled my lower lip in between my teeth before I turned
to start walking towards the house, Edward followed, catching up in a few strides until he was
by my side.

We walked in silence for a while, neither one of us able to think of anything to talk about,
when suddenly Edward spoke up, “Alice and Jasper are thinking of moving back to Forks for
a while,” he told me quietly, trying to find anything to talk about.

I giggled softly at hearing this, “They want to move back to Forks from Seattle? They just
moved there. That shocks me. Alice always dreamt of leaving Forks. It excited every part of
her being.” And it was true, for as long as I had known her, she said she always hated this
town and couldn’t wait to move onto bigger and better things. She always told me Seattle was
only the beginning.

His smile faded as he frowned and worry lines creased his forehead, “A lot has changed
recently and they don’t like being too far from home right now,” he told me quietly. Alice and
him were always so close, I could only imagine that her choice to move back to Forks had to
do with whatever Edward was going through.

I suddenly felt a twinge of guilt because I realized I was inadvertently prying and I hardly
knew this man anymore. I decided to stop while I was ahead. I saw a little concern seep into
his eyes. I couldn’t figure out why he was so distraught, but I felt this unquestionable urge to
reach out to him and comfort him. To tell him that whatever was going on in his life would be
okay and that things would work out for the better.

But to tell him that would make me a complete hypocrite, since I couldn’t even heed my own
advice on the bad shit in life bringing you down most days.

We walked in complete silence until we reached my house. He turned to me and looked back
and forth from me to the house. I decided I didn’t want to be alone since Charlie still wasn’t
home, “Do you want to come in for a cup of coffee. Maybe we could catch up a little more?”

Edward smiled at me and nodded. He followed me up the stairs and through the front door.
We headed to the kitchen where I put on a pot of coffee. When the coffee was done brewing I
poured two cups and took them to the small kitchen table and we started talking about old
times.

While we sipped our coffee, he started talking about the time we saw each other before he
went off to college and I found myself actually laughing at the memories. I mean really
laughing.

It was the summer following his senior year. He was leaving for Dartmouth in a month. I had
gone over to see Alice, but she was hanging out with Jasper. Edward said I could hang out
with him, but I felt like a burden.

“Bella, don’t be ridiculous. How many times have we hung out, just the two of us?” he asked,
poking my arm and then my ticklish sides.

I folded into his touch and frowned at him, “Apparently too many since you seem to have
forgotten that everyone has a personal bubble they don’t like penetrated,” I told him as I
punched him lightly on his right arm. This didn’t please him, he cocked that eyebrow and
smiled at me in that wicked way and chased me around his house.

His house was like a maze. Thankfully, I had practically grown up there and knew my way
around and where to run to hide so he couldn’t find me. Sadly, though, he was far more
graceful than me and faster. I ended up tripping over my own feet and went crashing into a
table beside the couch in the great room. I wound up with a large gash on my forehead. I sat
there holding the gaping head wound while Edward kneeled in front of me to assess how bad
it was.

“Well, it doesn’t appear to be too deep, you probably won’t need stitches. I’m going to go and
get the first aid kit though and fix you up.” He got up and ran to the kitchen to grab the kit
while I sat there and tried to not look at the blood that was running down my arm.

He rushed back into the room and he pulled my hand away so he could gain access to the cut.
He cleaned it up and put some antiseptic cream on it before placing two of those tiny butterfly
tapes across the cut to aid in the healing. He leaned forward and kissed me right above the
cut as if to make it all better.

My eyes closed as his lips connected with my flesh and I felt the blood rush to my cheeks as I
blushed. When I opened my eyes he was smiling at me and staring into my eyes with an
intensity that I had never seen there before. He leaned forward and I was SURE he was
finally going to kiss me.

But then his parents walked into the room. Carlisle saw me and panicked when he saw the
blood on my arm. It took a lot of convincing on my part and a lot of wiping my arm clean on
his to finally get through to him that it was all from my head.

He looked at the cut on my head and made the same assessment that Edward had and said
that I wouldn’t need any stitches. Edward rolled his eyes and smiled at me as I giggled.
Carlisle helped me up off the floor and then proceeded to scold Edward and me for running in
the house and that ‘this never would have happened if…’ He was such a dad.

Carlisle and Esme left the room and Edward and I sat on the couch facing each other in
awkward silence before he looked at me and spoke, “I am so sorry.”

I laughed, “For what? Did you trip me? Set up a booby-trap that I got my clumsy-ass feet
entangled in before I went crashing head first into your mother’s antique end table?”

He chuckled and then tucked a strand of hair behind my ear as I dropped my head and
blushed. He lifted my chin and looked into my eyes and smiled, “Do you want to do something
tomorrow night? Just you and me?” he asked.

I was in shock. Was Edward Cullen asking ME out on a date? I nodded emphatically as he
laughed. I was just about to say something when my cell phone rang. I answered it. It was my
mom asking me to come home because she had a special evening out planned for the family. I
hung up the phone and apologized for having to leave so soon.

“No worries. I’ll pick you up tomorrow at eight,” he told me as he walked me to the door.

I walked to my ancient truck and waved at him as I hopped in. I couldn’t help but smile all the
way home.

Of course the next day was the day my mother died in that horrific car accident, so my date
with Edward would never happen.

I looked up at Edward and I had a tear escape my eye and trail down my cheek.

He looked at me and smiled, as he reached across the table to wipe the tear away, “Bella?
You’re crying. That was supposed to be a happy memory. I didn’t mean anything by it.” He
seemed a little shocked by my reaction. Maybe he didn’t remember what had happened the
next day.

I smiled and waved my hand at him, “No, it was a happy memory; it’s just too bad it was
shadowed by such an awful one. Not to mention how I treated you all after that day.” I said as
I dropped my head in shame.

Realization must have dawned on him as he looked at me. He lifted my chin so I could look at
him. He had a look of frustration and resolve on his face, “I need you to do something for me.
I need you to look at all the bullshit that has happened in your life and face it head on. I want
MY Bella back, what happened to her?”

I shook my head. I really didn’t know what to say to that. How could I not dwell on all the
badness in my life? First I lost my mother, then I lost all of my friends because I was a
complete and utter asshole and felt that the best way to mourn her loss was to push everyone
away and be alone. Then, to top it all off, I lost the only man I ever TRULY loved.

“I’m trying,” I said quietly, “It’s just hard. I feel like a zombie most days. I want to put it all
behind me and just move on and come out of this nightmare that I seem to be living day after
day for the last ten years.”

Edward offered me a supportive smile, “Please, let me help you.”

I nodded my head, accepting his help, in silence.

He placed his hand over mine on the table and this time I didn’t pull away. I decided I needed
a friend right now, and Edward wanted to be there for me. I wasn’t going to push him or
anybody else away like I did before. I learned last time that going through the grieving

process alone was not the best way to do it. I wanted to get better and if I was going to do
that, I was going to need all the help I could get.

We sat there in silence a bit longer until I heard the front door open and Charlie came
stomping through the door. I pulled my hand away from Edward’s and sat back in my chair
smiling at him as I took another sip of my coffee.

Charlie came into the room and saw Edward and me sitting at the table. He smiled towards
Edward, “Edward. How are you, son?”

Edward turned to look at Charlie, “I’m doing alright, Chief.” Edward turned back to me and
stood up, “Well, I’m going to get going. Let you and Charlie have the evening together. I’ll
talk to you tomorrow, alright?”

I stood up and walked him to the door. He was just about at the door when I grabbed his wrist
and stopped him. I pulled myself closer to him and wrapped my arms around his neck and
gave him the tightest hug I could, “Thank you for talking to me. It means a lot that you want
to be here for me. I appreciate it. Your entire family has been more than understanding
through all of this.” As we hugged, I inhaled deeply. He smelled amazing and it was as
though I couldn’t get enough.

I pulled out of his embrace and saw him smiling as he placed his hand on my cheek,
“Goodnight. I’ll talk to you tomorrow morning.” And with that, he was gone down the steps
and in the direction of his car.

I closed the door behind him and headed back into the kitchen to see Charlie sitting where
Edward once sat. He looked up at me as I entered the room and he smiled. It was a smile I
hadn’t seen in awhile. He looked happy, which just means that all of the smiles I thought were
his happy smiles were forced. But this one was so much different. I sat down at the table with
him.

“I’m glad to see he’s finally talking to you. I think he was taking this worse than the rest of
us. You have no idea how hard this was on him, especially after everything the two of you
have been through.” Charlie told me.

I couldn’t help but scoff at my father’s comment, “Dad, that was all so long ago. I didn't think
he and Alice would ever forgive me after everything I put them through, but they did and I
feel like we can really move on and put it all behind us now.”

Charlie just continued to smile at me, “You’re looking a little better today,” he said, looking
into my eyes.

I smiled, “Honestly? I feel a lot better today. I thought this day was going to go horribly after
the way it started, but I have been pleasantly surprised.”

I suddenly realized I hadn’t started dinner yet so I hopped up from the table and headed to the
fridge to find something suitable for dinner while Charlie filled me in on his day and I
cooked. This was the best part of every day. It was as though nothing bad had happened.

***

We finished dinner and watched a bit of TV…well Charlie watched Baseball and I did some
crossword and Sudoku puzzles while sitting in the living room with him. When the game was
over we decided to turn in for the night.

Tonight was the first night I went to sleep feeling good about myself and especially about the
day. Usually I fell asleep thinking about Jake and the accident and all the bad things that had
happened in my life. But for some reason, today was a positive day and I couldn’t help but
feel as though talking to Edward is what made this day better.

I changed into my shorts and t-shirt and crawled into bed. I turned off my lamp and before I
had realized it, I had drifted off into a blissful sleep, for the first time in weeks.

CHAPTER SIX:

Well, two weeks had passed. It was now the middle of June and Edward and I were together
every day. As soon as Charlie would leave in the morning, Edward would show up and we’d
just hang out. It was as though they had come to an unspoken pre-determined agreement on
who got which shift when taking care of me. It was cute, and not completely necessary, but
sweet all the same.

Some days we would go for walks around Forks, others he’d take me for a drive in the Volvo
through the countryside. It was gorgeous this time of year. The green leaves, the colorful
flowers. This is why I loved living in the Pacific Northwest, even if it did rain a lot. That just
promised lots of greenery.

Day by day I could feel my defensive walls crumbling brick by brick and I am pretty sure I
had Edward to thank for that. I don’t remember the last time I truly enjoyed life. Even with
Jake, sure we had fun and I loved him and being with him, but I always had that looming
feeling hanging over me like if I got too comfortable that something awful would happen to
make me regret being happy. It was a shitty way to live, and I was glad that I wasn’t having
that feeling now. Maybe it was because the worst of the worst has already happened. Who
knows. All I know is I was happy, and I was really trying to live life in the moment. Carpe
Diem and all that.

I’m not exactly sure when it happened, but we began acting like we did in high school with a
little bit of innocent flirting. And even though I wasn’t, in any way, looking for a relationship,
I felt a familiar desire for him. Which, of course resulted in me having a panic attack and
remembering Jake. So I would push Edward away from me and then move across the room,
leaving him looking sullen and apologetic for his actions or words. I tried to tell him it wasn’t
him, that it was me, but he was always silent at that point and wouldn’t say anything for a
while after that. And when he did speak, he didn’t speak of the incident. He probably wanted
to pretend it didn’t happen, which was fine by me.

The problem was, this happened almost daily where we would find ourselves in an awkward
situation and then my brain forced me to react negatively, even though my heart and body
wanted me to react the exact opposite. But which was I supposed to listen to?

One gorgeous day Edward and I were in the house and were just sitting around doing nothing.
Seriously, we were sitting on the couch and nothing was being said. It was kind of…strange.
Especially for us.

I couldn’t take the silence much more. I opened my mouth to speak, but was met, instead,
with Edward standing up and dragging me from the house. He took me to the Volvo and
opened my door for me before ushering me inside. I began to ask where we were going, but
he simply shook his head as soon as my mouth opened and indicated for me to remain quiet.

I was confused, sure. But I trusted him wholeheartedly. He climbed into the driver’s seat and
looked over at me with a huge Cheshire Cat grin on his face as he waggled his eyebrows. I
laughed at how ridiculous he looked.

He took off at a speed I was incredibly uncomfortable with. He looked over at me and noticed
that I was gripping my seat so hard that there was a good possibility I would ruin the leather,
so he slowed the car and placed his hand on my knee as if to say he was sorry.

The silence was killing me. Seriously, it was unbearable.

We drove for about a half hour through the country until he finally stopped. I had no idea
where we were. Edward opened my door and pulled me from the car and led me through the
forest. It took me a while before I noticed that he had grabbed a blanket from his car before he
helped me out. I was confused, intrigued and excited. I had no idea what he had planned, and
for once the uncertainty was a welcome change in my life.

We finally came to a stop and I looked around. I gasped at the beauty that surrounded us.
How had I never been here before? We stood in the middle of a gorgeous meadow. The lush
grass was like a soft green blanket covered in colorful wildflowers. The trees stood hundreds
of feet tall and were fully leaved and swaying in the gentle breeze. The leaves made a calming
rustling sound as the wind pushed its way through them.

I watched as Edward spread the blanket onto the ground. He kneeled before me before taking
me by the hand and pulling me down next to him. He laid down on the blanket and I followed
suit. We laid next to each other, not touching, as we stared up at the fluffy white clouds that
floated through the baby blue sky.

I was in complete awe of this magical place and couldn’t believe that such a place existed on
Earth. I couldn’t help but forget all about my problems in life and focus on the beauty that
surrounded us. I felt as though I were being stared at, so I turned my head towards Edward
and he had himself propped up on his elbow and was smiling at me. I felt foolish, what with
my huge grin and all and I felt the blood rush to my cheeks as I turned my head from his and
stared up at the sky again.

I heard him sigh as he broke the longest silent streak that had ever occurred between the two
of us while in the same vicinity of one another, “What I wouldn’t give to be inside your head
right now to know what you are thinking.”

I looked back over at him and smiled, “It’s nothing, really. I’m just basking in the beauty of
this hidden paradise. I can’t believe this place has been under our noses this whole time and I
had no idea.”

He smiled at me and brushed the hair from my forehead before he laid back down next to me
and moved his head closer to mine. I felt butterflies in my stomach, but at the same time there
was that internal conflict that said it was too much too soon. I didn’t want to insult him, so I
stayed where I was, but decided that if things went any further that I would have to stop it. For
my own personal sanity.

We sat in silence a little longer, just enjoying each other’s company and the tranquility of the
meadow around us. Finally his deep voice broke through the silence once again, “Do you
remember the time that you and Alice had that fight in your Freshman year?” he asked.

I couldn’t help but laugh, “Which one? There were so many.” It was true. Alice and I had had
a lot of fights in our years as friends. It’s what girls did. We couldn’t help it. We always came

around a while later and forgave each other. Of course, this was usually after some coaxing
from one of our parents.

Edward continued, “It was the one where you confessed to having a giant crush on me. And
she thought that you would abandon her for me.” I was instantly mortified. I had no idea that
he knew about that. My cheeks felt as though they were on fire and I wished that the Earth
would open up and swallow me whole in that moment so I didn’t have to hear what else he
knew.

But it didn’t and as disappointed, and slightly afraid, as I was, I listened as he continued, “I
remember when Alice came home that day telling mom that you guys had a fight. I didn’t
mean to eavesdrop, but whenever anything ‘Bella’ came up, I couldn’t help but pay attention.
Even now…Especially now.”

I turned my head to him and watched as he told his story. His eyes were a darker shade of
green and they weren’t sparkling with happiness in the sunlight like they usually did. It was as
if what he was about to tell me was painful for him in some way.

“When she told mom that you had a crush on me I couldn’t help but be absolutely overcome
with joy. I have never told anyone this before, but Bella, in all my years I have only ever had
eyes for you. No other woman has ever compared to you. Ever. I just needed you to know
that. It’s always been you,” he told me quietly, suddenly embarrassed by his admission.

I was left speechless. I couldn’t think of anything to say. So I did the next best thing. I took
his hand in mine and held it as we laid there staring up at the sky. To hear him lay his feelings
out like that was incredibly flattering and warmed my heart. It was far too soon for me to
reciprocate these feelings. I mean I cared very deeply for him, but my internal conflict was
still there telling me that it was too soon, and it was. But at least it gave me hope that when I
was ready, he would likely still be there for me. That thought calmed me to the core, knowing
that there was someone else out there that cared about me that deeply, and that I knew I cared
for just as deeply.

I could feel his thumb moving softly over the back of my hand as we laid there and it was the
most soothing feeling on this planet to me. I couldn’t even remember the last time I felt this at
peace. Ever.

It was such a soothing feeling that I didn’t even notice my eyelids getting heavy as I fell
asleep in the middle of this beautiful place. I’m not sure how long I was asleep, but I
awakened to warm lips on my forehead and the soft words spoken into my ear.

“It’s time to wake up, Bella. Please,” he pleaded as I felt his lips on my cheek next.

I kept my eyes closed as I squirmed next to him, smiling, “Mmmmmm,” I groaned, “But I like
it here.”

I opened my eyes to see him looking down at me. I smiled until I realized I was pulled right
up against his body. I must have shifted over to him while I was sleeping. I sat upright and
nervously ran my hands through my hair. I didn’t know how long I was asleep for, but my
brain was telling me it was clearly too long.

“We should go,” I said, standing up. Edward stood up after me and gathered up the blanket.
We walked back to the car in an awkward silence that we both knew far too well as I tried to
make sense of what transpired out there, and why I was struggling between what my brain
knew to be right and what my heart was telling me to do.

We drove slowly back to Forks, still silent. I didn’t know what to say to make the situation
less awkward. I tried to think of something, but before I knew it we were parked outside my
house. I looked down at my hands still thinking.

Edward was the one to make the first move though. He placed his hand on my clasped hands
in my lap. I looked up at him and he was smiling. I returned his smile, even though mine felt
forced.

“As much as I hate to leave you, I have to go. I had a great day today though. I’ll see you
tomorrow?” he asked, hopefully.

I smiled a genuine smile, glad that today’s awkward encounter didn’t affect anything…or at
least it didn’t seem to. I looked him in the eyes, “Tomorrow would be excellent.”

I opened my door and stepped out of the vehicle. I watched as he pulled away from the curb
and I waved, hoping he could see me in his rearview mirror. As soon as his car was out of
sight, I turned around and headed towards the house.

And as if on cue, Charlie’s cruiser pulled up and parked where the shiny silver Volvo once
was. It’s like they have this practiced down to an art, I thought to myself as I smiled and
shook my head.

I entered the house and headed to the kitchen to start on dinner.

***

As six more weeks had passed, we found ourselves in the beginning of August. Edward and I
were getting more comfortable around each other. And I was also finding that the things that
would cause us to act awkward before were not so bad now. We would sit on the couch and I
would lay my head on his shoulder or he would come up behind me and hug me. We’d hold
hands occasionally. We were getting closer, but definitely taking things slow.

Now, don’t get me wrong, there were still a few times that these things would set off my
internal alarm, but I was really trying to work past it. I knew that Jake would want me to be
happy, and I was. Edward made me happier than I had felt in a long time. So I was really
trying my hardest to let him in.

Today we had decided to take a trip to Port Angeles to see a movie. Needless to say, I was
more than nervous since it was the highway to Port Angeles that Jake and I had our accident
on. But this was something I felt I needed to do to face the demons that haunted me about that
fateful day. Edward was really very good about it all though. He drove slowly, it was the
middle of the day and the sun was shining.

During the hour and a half drive I wound up falling asleep. You’d think I was well rested
considering I hadn’t had a bad dream in almost three weeks. I was sleeping soundly for eight

to ten hours a night. It didn’t make sense why I was still so tired and could barely keep my
eyes open.

“Bella? Bella?” I could hear a voice pulling me out of my deep slumber. I felt a hand gently
touch my shoulder and then trace a line up to my cheek, I shivered. The voice called again,
“Bella, I need you to wake up. Please. Please, wake up.”

My eyes fluttered open and I was staring into Edward’s eyes. I smiled, and rubbed my eyes,
“Hey. Sorry about that.” I took in our surroundings and realized we were in the parking lot to
the theatre. I sat up and stretched while Edward exited the car and opened my door for me.

He really was quite the gentleman and I felt myself falling for him a little more each and
every day. And while the thought of that scared me shitless, it also excited me that I could feel
this way about another man again.

Edward held out his hand for me and I smiled up at him as I took it and stepped out of the car.
I decided that I didn’t want to let go of his hand, so I laced my fingers through his and we
walked into the theater together. He smiled widely at this small gesture on my part. This was
really the first time I had initiated any form of public affection with him.

We stood in line and Edward bought our tickets to the new Judd Apatow movie that was out. I
didn’t want to see anything romantic and I definitely wasn’t ready for some blockbuster
action movie, especially not if it involved car chases and explosions on a huge screen.

We grabbed popcorn and drinks from the concession and made our way to our theater. We
found seats in the back row and waited for the movie to begin. Once we were seated we broke
our connection so we could eat our popcorn freely.

The lights went dim and the previews began to roll before the movie. It was a sick, twisted
and yet hilarious movie. Exactly what was to be expected from an Apatow film. I don’t think I
have laughed so hard in all my life at a movie.

A few times during the movie I found myself looking towards Edward for no particular reason
except that I just felt I had to be looking at him. He would turn is head to me and I would
quickly look away, even though I knew he saw me. Which just made me feel like a pathetic
loser. It was probably on the third attempt at looking at him and then turning away like an
idiot that he took my hand in his and laced our fingers together once again. I couldn’t help the
smile that spread across my face.

I felt that familiar spark that for some reason seemed to resonate between the two of us. I had
never experienced it with anyone else, ever. Only Edward.

When the movie ended Edward and I walked back out of the theater hand in hand as I leaned
in close to him. I could smell his cologne and I inhaled deeply, memorizing it in case this was
all just some wonderful dream and I woke up at any minute to find out that none of it was
true. We got to the car and Edward, as usual, opened up my door for me.

Before I got in I stood up on my toes and kissed him lightly on the cheek, “Thank you for
today. It was great.”

He smiled and nodded as I got into the car. He rushed around to the other side and climbed in
before starting the engine and peeling out of the lot. We headed back to Forks since it was
almost dinner and I wanted to make sure I had dinner on the table for Charlie when he got
back from work. He was pulling double shifts at the station again and it was really taking its
toll on him.

We pulled up to the house and I sat there for a few minutes with my hands in my lap. It felt
exactly as it did in high school when we’d sit in his car for what seemed like hours, just
talking. My hands were sweaty and I was incredibly nervous.

Edward got out of the car and came over to my door to help me out. We walked up to my
front door, and suddenly this felt more and more like a first date. We stood in front of the door
in silence for a few minutes before he spoke.

“Bella, I just wanted to say that I had a great time hanging out with you today. Even if we
didn’t do a lot of talking, even just sitting with you is great and the highlight of my day. Every
day. I’ll see you tomorrow, alright?” he said.

He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me into his body for a hug. I stood up on
my tip toes and folded my arms around his neck and squeezed tightly. We held our embrace
for a few minutes before I felt his grip loosen, but not let go of me completely. I pulled back
and looked up into his eyes.

His emerald green eyes were mesmerizing. My eyes trailed over his features. His slightly
tousled bronze hair, his smooth forehead, his slight five o’ clock shadow that was creeping
across his jaw line. And then my eyes fell upon his soft lips.

My body heated in desire and my heart quickened as I noticed him lick his lips and lean down
towards me. I felt his lips graze softly across mine as a test. He pulled back and looked into
my eyes, almost as if asking permission. I pulled my lower lip between my teeth. I felt my
fingers weave into his hair and I stood up as high as I could on my toes and kissed him.

His lips were soft and attacked my mouth with fervor. I pulled his face closer to mine as I felt
his tongue graze my lips. I opened my mouth, allowing him entrance. Our tongues danced
with each other and I felt lust and desire shooting through every fiber of my being.

I didn’t want this to go too far, so I pulled back from our kiss and smiled at him. He rested his
head against my forehead. I sighed softly and giggled, a light blush creeping across my cheek.

He spoke first, “I’ll see you tomorrow. I truly had a great time today.” He pressed his lips to
mine, softly, one final time and then he was gone down the stairs to his car. I waved one final
time as I watched him drive away.

I unlocked the front door and once inside, I closed the door and leaned up against it.
Suddenly, it didn’t feel “too soon”. It felt right. Edward and I, together, felt perfect.

Today was the biggest step in my recovery and I felt nothing but optimism as I embarked on
this new direction my life was about to take.

CHAPTER SEVEN:

Edward and I arrived at his parent’s place by seven, on this unusually cold mid-August day. I
was told that Alice and Jasper would be here for dinner. I was excited to see them. They
weren’t able to get back to Forks the last couple of weekends because they had been wrapping
up the last few loose ends and trying to find someone to sublet their condo so they could
move back home.

I didn’t ask for the details as to why they were coming back, it felt too intrusive. I figured if
they wanted me to know, they would tell me in their own time. Edward wrapped his arm
around my waist and led me up to the huge familiar house. I smiled remembering the last time
we were here together. Then remembering, again, what happened the day after.

I shook my head. No, I told myself, this was a happy night. I would not ruin this. I was doing
so well and I didn’t want to take three giant leaps back. I was finally at peace with what
Edward and I were. We were in a relationship. We were still taking it slow, but I could feel it
was becoming more and more serious as the days and weeks went by.

Edward led me into the house and took my jacket and draped it over the bench in the foyer.
He leaned down and kissed the top of my head and then took me by the hand and led me to
the great room where his grand piano was kept.

He pulled me to the bench and smiled at me, “I want to play something for you,” he told me.

I nodded and then watched as his long graceful fingers danced along the ivory keys. The
sounds that came out of this magnificent instrument were beautiful. Which, wasn’t too
shocking. I had heard him play before, just nothing this beautiful. It started off soft and
beautiful. And then it became slightly lower and…darker? As though something dark and
ominous had contaminated his life while he was composing it.

I could feel the tears brimming at the edge of my eyes as I watched his expression go from
light and happy to sad. The song then lightened up again right before it ended, as though he
had weathered whatever storm had interfered in his life. He hung his head and I heard him
sigh.

“I wrote that for you. Sorry the middle was so…intense…but I’d been going through a hard
time without you and I guess it just conveyed into the music.”

I pulled his face up towards me and leaned forward and kissed him softly, “Thank you. It was
beautiful. And it was very fitting. I was in a pretty dark place until very, very recently. And I
have you to thank for pulling me out and showing me the light.”

He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me closer, which I didn’t think was possible
until I was situated sideways on his lap. He began nuzzling my neck and I could feel my
desire for him burning in the deepest depths of my stomach. I threw my head back as his lips
trailed up my neck and along my jaw until he stopped at my ear.

“Every minute I’m not with you, I miss you terribly. I can’t bear to be away from you again. I
need you,” he whispered and I felt a familiar, and yet missing until very recently, pulse

between my legs as my desire crept lower. He pulled his face back from my ear and looked
into my eyes before cupping my cheek, “But I am willing to wait until you are ready.”

Hearing him tell me he needed me, but was willing to wait was probably the sweetest thing I
had ever heard. I couldn’t help my next impulse. I pulled his face to mine and attacked his
mouth. I lightly dragged my tongue along his lips and felt him open his mouth and our
tongues tangled passionately. I felt goosebumps all over my flesh as he pulled my body closer
to his.

I sighed into his mouth before pulling away and resting my head on his forehead. We sat there
for a few minutes before we could smell dinner. My stomach growled and he smiled as he
stood us up and led us out of the room and into the dining room.

“Mom, Dad.” Edward said in acknowledgement to his parents.

Esme smiled and walked over to us. She wrapped Edward in a tight embrace before coming to
me and hugging me and kissing me on the cheek, “We heard you playing, but we didn’t want
to interrupt.”

“Bella, how are you feeling today? You look well,” Carlisle stated as he pulled me into his
arms.

I smiled up at him, “Pretty good. Better than good, actually.”

Alice and Jasper walked into the dining room together and I heard Alice squeal in delight. She
skipped across the room and hugged me tighter than anyone would think was possible from
someone her size.

“Bella! I’m so glad we could actually make it this weekend. Sorry it took us so long to get
organized. But we finally found someone to sublet, so within the next couple of weeks we
will be moving here and all will be as it should be. I just know it. I can feel it,” she said,
speaking at a mile a minute.

Jasper was next in the lineup of people to hug me, and when he folded me up in his arms I
suddenly felt any stress just ooze out of my body through my toes.

“Hey, B. We missed you so much. Honestly Seattle just isn’t that great, especially when we
can’t be with the ones we love.” He let go of me but kept his arm around my shoulders for a
few minutes. I felt so at ease with Jasper, like we had been best friends for the longest time
and I hadn’t treated him like an utter asshole all those years ago. It was nice to finally put it all
behind us.

Jasper finally removed his arm from my shoulder as Esme brought dinner into the dining
room one dish at a time. Edward led us to our seats and was even courteous enough to pull my
chair out for me. Which didn’t shock me at all. He was always doing that sort of thing. His
parents raised him right.

We were all seated at the table when Esme spoke, “Well we are just about all here, right?”

I was confused, “Just about?” I asked, not being able to contain my curiosity. And as soon as
the words left my mouth I heard the front door slam and a big booming voice.

“Alright, who missed us?” Emmett came barreling into the room, a huge familiar grin on his
face. I hadn’t seen Emmett in more than ten years. He and Rosalie had been dating since he
was a senior in high school and we were freshmen. He had gone off to college a year before
Edward on a football scholarship.

I am pretty sure my jaw hit the floor and my eyes all but bugged out of my skull as he and
Rosalie stepped into the room. I jumped out of my seat and nearly sent my chair clattering to
the floor. I ran towards him, not even sure if I was entirely welcome. I mean I haven’t seen or
spoken to him in longer than the rest of my friends, and I definitely hadn’t spoken to Rosalie
since I pushed her and Alice away in high school, so who knows how she’d react.

But I was so completely happy to see them both. I felt as though my family was complete
again. We were all together and nothing could ever break us up again. I ran towards Emmett
and he enveloped me in one of his trademark Emmett hugs and lifted me off the ground. He
was always like a big brother to me when we were younger.

“Baby Bella. I can’t even begin to tell you how much we missed you. We are so sorry we
couldn’t get back into the states any sooner. We tried to hop on a flight the week everything
happened, but couldn’t get the time or money together. You can’t even imagine how awful we
feel. Rose was caught up with work in Italy and we couldn’t just leave or we’d have lost
everything. God, can you ever forgive us?” he asked. I am fairly certain I sensed deep pain
and regret in his words and possibly even heard him sniffle. Yes, Emmett McCarty, sniffling.

Of course the tears were already streaming down my face, so it was highly probable that it
was me sniffling, who the Hell even knew anymore. He put me down and I looked up into his
eyes while I wiped my own. He was smiling at me. My eyes drifted from him to directly
behind him where Rosalie stood. She was holding a beautiful bouquet of flowers in her hand.

She smiled warmly at me and held them out to me, “These are for you. I know they don’t
make up for everything, and especially for us being a few months late, but I was hoping
they’d be a good ice breaker.”

I smiled and ran to her and wrapped my arms around her and smiled, “Rose, they’re beautiful
and completely unnecessary, really. I should be the one to apologize to the two of you for
everything,” I blurted out in a millisecond.

We laughed and then sat at the table to eat before dinner got cold. I didn’t say much the entire
meal, I just sat there and listened to them all talk and reminisce about old times.

Rosalie was a photographer and was just on location in Italy for the last four months. She was
under contract which is why she couldn’t just leave. Emmett had taken time off to go with
her. He ran his own contracting company. So he had the luxury of leaving for a few months
and having his VP take care of everything.

Dinner was absolutely delightful, honestly, I don’t think I even ate that much, I was too
involved in watching these people that I missed so dearly for ten years talk and learn all about
what they had been up to all this time.

After dinner and dessert, it was finally time to go. I didn’t want to, I wanted to stay forever,
but I knew that wasn’t going to happen. I hugged everyone again as we said our goodnight’s
to one another, promising to get together soon and often.

Edward and I walked to the car and drove through the darkening countryside and back into
Forks. We drove up to my house and we headed up the stairs and inside.

Charlie was still working. I was really starting to miss him. I only saw him for, at most, one or
two hours a day. I was going to have to talk to him and set some time aside to spend with him.
Just the two of us.

Edward and I went into the living room. I sat on the couch while he started a magnificent fire
in our fireplace. I pulled my knees up into my chest and waited for him to join me on the
couch. He sat next to me and slipped one arm under my knees and unbent them across his lap.
I leaned forward and leaned my head on his shoulder and we just sat there in silence as the
fire roared. We were happy and content.

The next thing I knew I was being carried up the stairs toward my bedroom. I realized I had
fallen asleep…shocker. I stared into his eyes as he carried me and I felt a blush creep across
my cheeks at the inappropriate thoughts I was now having about him.

I didn’t know what those thoughts meant. My brain wanted me to stop and think, but the rest
of my body wanted to go with what my heart was telling me was so obviously right. He cared
for me and I cared for him. Did I love him? Honestly, I think I did. I didn’t know when
exactly this happened, but I think I definitely felt love for this man.

Edward laid me on my bed and then turned to leave, I grabbed him by the wrist and as he
turned to look at me, I stood up and lifted my shirt over my head, my eyes never leaving his,
except when my shirt crossed their path. I saw him swallow thickly as my hands moved down
to unbutton my jeans. He crossed the room quickly and laid his hand on mine, stopping me
from doing something I may regret.

He didn’t speak a word vocally, but his eyes spoke volumes. He wanted this. Me. All of me.
But he wanted me to be ready, just as he had told me earlier.

I slipped one of my hands out from under his and laid it on his cheek, “I’m ready. I’m sure.
Edward, I want you.” I stood up on my toes and kissed him gently. His body was still tense,
but as soon as I deepened our kiss I felt him relax and his hands wrapped around my bare
waist, pulling me closer to him. His hands traveled down to “unknown to Edward” territory as
he gripped my backside and lifted me off the ground. Feeling unbalanced, I wrapped my legs
around his waist as he carried me back to the bed and gently set me down.

He continued to kiss me as his hands roamed down my body and stopped at my breasts. He
palmed them over my bra, occasionally pinching and rolling my stiff nipples between his
finger and thumb. I moaned into his mouth and arched my back into his touch. With my back
arched, I felt his hands wrap around and struggle slightly to undo my bra. But he succeeded
and slowly slipped the straps down my arms and tossed it to the floor. I could feel the
moisture begin to pool between my thighs in anticipation of our first time.

The throbbing between my legs intensified and I needed to feel relief, so I pushed my hips up
into his and could feel his arousal through our jeans. My hands slipped between us as I found
the hem of his shirt and lifted it over his head, tossing it to the floor.

This was the first time I was going to see Edward Cullen naked. The thought, both, excited
and terrified me. I had only ever been with one person before and I was pretty sure, Edward
had been with an insane amount of women. I could only hope I measured up to what he was
used to, sexually.

I forgot what I was thinking about as Edward’s mouth found my breasts and began nibbling
and twirling his tongue around my nipples. I remembered my quest to get this gorgeous man
naked in my bed and my hands found the buttons on his jeans. I made short work of them and
plunged my hand inside to be met with his impressive shaft. I wrapped my slender hand
around him and began stroking as he ground his hips in time with my ministrations.

His hands traveled down and slipped inside my already undone pants and slipped his fingers
between my already slick folds. He found my clit and began rubbing small circles on it,
causing my body to tremble in intense pleasure.

I removed my hand from his pants and looped my hands into the waist of his jeans and slid
them down as far as I could before bringing my feet up and replacing my hands and removing
his pants the rest of the way.

He brought his eyes up to mine, still unsure of how far we should be going. I only encouraged
him by bringing my hand back to his erection and stroking it a few more times. He trailed
kisses down my neck, chest, stomach and them looped his fingers into my pants and pulled
them down slowly. He tossed them aside and then hovered over me again.

And there we were. Edward and Bella. Completely naked and in bed together. I had had this
fantasy so many times in high school, but I never once thought it would come to fruition. I felt
him at my slick entrance and I moved my hips up ever so slightly, inviting him to continue.

He entered me slowly and deeply and I moaned with pleasure. As we moved together I could
feel a familiar pressure building within my body as my climax drew near, and then, I’m not
exactly sure what the Hell happened, but in that instant, flashes began playing back before my
eyes.

Jake.

Edward.

Edward.

Jake.

The accident.

My life with Jake.

What my life with Edward could be.

It was too much. Too much, too fast.

I began pushing at Edward to get off of me, “No. Wait. Please. I’m so sorry. Stop,” I cried as I
apologized to him. He removed his weight from my body immediately and was kneeling on
the bed, completely and utterly confused, I launched myself off the bed and stood in the
middle of the room. My hair disheveled from rolling around on my bed. I was completely
naked and trembling as I stood there reprimanding myself for letting my past get to me in this
way, at this precise moment. I felt completely insane.

I thought I was ready, but I was severely mistaken. Edward kept his distance, still clearly
confused as to what just happened. I tilted my head to the side and tried to smile at him
through my tears. I shook my head, “I’m so sorry. I thought I was ready. I don’t know what
happened. I can’t even begin to tell you--”

He cut me off by hopping off the bed and racing to my side. He brought my blanket with him
and wrapped it around me, along with his strong arms. I cried into his chest as he rubbed my
back over the blanket.

He lifted me off the floor and carried me back to the bed and then grabbed his boxer briefs
and put them on before grabbing his jeans. I sat up, “No! Don’t leave. Please, don’t leave
me,” I said, my voice growing quiet towards the end of my plea.

He cradled my face in his hands and leaned forward to kiss me softly as he smiled. He
dropped his jeans to the floor and crawled into bed behind me and wrapped his arms around
me, making me feel safe and secure.

He inhaled deeply and then sighed, “Bella, I’m going to wait for you for as long as this takes.
I’m not going anywhere, I promise. It’s always been you.”

Edward kissed the top of my head and pulled my naked body closer to his warmth. And we
fell asleep in each other’s arms. All the badness between us forgotten for the moment.

CHAPTER EIGHT:

It was the day after my failed attempt to seduce Edward. I awoke when the sunlight streamed
in through the window momentarily blinding me. I rolled over to face Edward, but was met
only with his scent on my other pillow. I propped myself up on my elbows, disappointed that
he wasn’t in bed with me anymore. I felt as though last night hadn’t really happened…which,
I guess wouldn’t really be such a bad thing considering my momentary lapse in sanity. I was
instantly relieved when I turned around and saw him walking back through my door with
fresh coffee.

“Good morning,” he said, setting the coffee on my night stand. I pulled the blanket up and
tucked it under my arms, so as not to expose my naked body first thing, as I sat up.

I smiled as he leaned down and kissed the top of my head. He sat next to me and pulled me to
him as he spoke, “I have to go for a bit, but Rose and Alice are on their way over for a girls’
day. I hope you don’t mind?” he trailed his fingertips up and down my exposed spine as he
spoke, and I instantly felt like putty in his hands.

I laughed softly, “Not at all. You’ll be back later though, right?” he kissed my head in
reassurance as he nodded.

I stood up keeping my blanket wrapped around me, suddenly very self conscious around him,
even though he saw all there was to see the night before. I walked to my closet and grabbed a
pair of jeans and a t-shirt and then a fresh pair of panties and a bra. I hesitated before dropping
the blanket in front of him not sure if I should just expose myself…especially in broad
daylight. But eventually, I just did it. I looked over my shoulder and saw as he quickly turned
his head away, afraid of being caught. I giggled to myself and finished getting dressed.

I headed to the bathroom to freshen up a little bit before he had to leave. I wasn’t sure when
the girls would be here, but I didn’t need them seeing me looking like a total train wreck.

When I was finished, I turned around and headed back to my room to find him lying back on
my already made bed. This man is too much. I smiled and walked over to him and straddled
his lap before kissing him deeply. He tasted heavenly. Like a little bit of mint and a little bit of
coffee all in one. I felt his hands trail up my thighs and stop on my backside, gripping me
softly. I felt my desire for him as the wetness pooled between my thighs and my core ached
for him.

We deepened the kiss before he pulled back and smiled at me, “I hate to leave you like this,
but I have to go to work so I can keep up the payments on the house so the bank doesn’t seize
it.”

I smiled, “Yeah, that would probably be pretty bad,” I sighed as I sat up straight. “Alright.
You go, I’ll wait for the girls and I’ll see you later.” I removed myself from his body and
pulled him up with me. He stood up and walked out of my bedroom with me in tow. I walked
with him to the front door where I gave him one last kiss goodbye and then watched as he left.

I headed to the kitchen to start on breakfast. I figured I should eat something before they got
here, just in case they had something planned that didn’t involve eating. I decided to scramble
a few eggs and make some toast. Quick and easy.

I finished eating my breakfast and was just cleaning up my dishes when I heard the front door
open and Alice and Rose walked right in laughing and gossiping. I dried and put away the last
dish and turned to see them walk into the kitchen with a bottle for wine. I wondered
momentarily if they realized it was barely noon yet.

“Bella! You look positively radiant today. I have a good feeling that today is going to be a
great day,” Rose announced as she sat at the table and opened the wine.

I smiled, wondering if maybe Rose pounded back a few cocktails before coming over this
morning. I reached into the cupboard and grabbed three wine glasses and brought them to the
table. Alice sat between us and poured the wine. We all took sips from our glasses and then
continued talking about all that was going on in our lives. Well, they spoke, I didn’t feel like
being the downer of the day, so, I simply listened and smiled and laughed along with them,
just basking in the feeling of being back in their lives again.

As they talked, my guilty conscience took my thoughts and drifted back to the days when I
pushed them away. I had lost so many years with both of them.

I didn’t return to school for two weeks after my mom died. It was important to me that I stay
home with Charlie. We needed each other more than anyone could understand. Rose, Alice,
Jasper and the rest of the Cullens all tried to come and visit and help us grieve, but we both
were hermits for the time being and turned away any form of human contact.

We didn’t eat hardly anything for the first week, but then I realized that if I didn’t do
something about it, then Charlie wouldn’t eat at all. That second week was a bit better and I
was looking forward to getting back to school and meeting my life head on.

That first day back was excruciating. I regretted going as soon as I stepped foot onto the
pavement in the parking lot. I walked with my head down all the way to school as I heard the
whispers and felt every pair of eyes on my back as I retreated.

I made it to my locker and found flowers and cards attached to it, and while there was likely
no ill will meant, I snapped. Tears flowed freely as my heart raced and I screamed while I
ripped the flowers and cards from the locker and tossed them to the floor behind me. I hated
when people felt sorry for me. I was trying to move on with my life as best I could, but no,
instead I was being met with constant reminders to the worst day of my life.

Alice was the first person to actually approach me while I was freaking out over the shit on
my locker. She tried to wrap me in a hug, but I forcefully pushed her away, “Don’t! Just leave
me the fuck alone!”

The look on Alice’s face was excruciatingly painful, almost as though I had slapped her. But
at that moment, I can say that I really didn’t care, because I didn’t. She didn’t understand
what I was going through. When she went home at the end of the day, both of her parents
would be there for a big, happy family dinner.

“Bella,” she began.

I narrowed my eyes at her, “Save it, Cullen. What the fuck would you know about what I am
going through? Your mom will be home waiting for you when you get home tonight and every
night after this. So don’t for one second think that you get what I am going through.”

Alice furrowed her brow at me in anger. This was one person that normally you wouldn’t
mess with. Sure, she was tiny, but when she unleashed her fury you’d better watch out, “Look,
Bella, I care about you. I know you are going through something terrible and I never once
pretended to understand how you must feel. So don’t lay this shit on me. I’m sorry for your
loss, I really am. I loved Renee like a second mother and I can’t believe she’s gone. But to
treat me like this is completely uncalled for, especially since you could really use someone to
talk to and lean on. I’ll be around when you are ready to talk.”

And then she turned to walk away as I huffedquietly, “Don’t hold your breath.”

I noticed that Rose and Jasper were right behind her, they had witnessed the whole thing.
Jasper looked at me empathetically before he turned and followed Alice down the corridor.

I felt bad for unleashing my anger on Alice. I know she was just trying to be there for me
through this, but for some reason, my brain didn’t register this. It was as though the grief I
was feeling overshadowed every other emotion I used to know.

I grabbed my books for my first class and as I was walking towards the room I overheard that
Jessica was having a party this weekend. I smiled inwardly thinking that that sounded like a
great way to forget about my troubles.

I went about the rest of my day as normally as I could, just wanting this day to be over and
the whispering to stop.

Alice never tried speaking to me again that day. She shot me a few looks in the hall as we
would pass one another, but I chose to ignore her, not wanting to deal with her crap, or in
hindsight, maybe not wanting to put her through any more of my crap.

I headed home after that horrifying day and made dinner for Charlie and myself before doing
my homework and going to bed and crying myself to sleep.

The rest of the week was pretty much the same. But when Friday came, I had this feeling of
excitement knowing that the party was tonight and I planned on getting right messed up and
forgetting everything. I was looking forward to just passing out and not crying myself to
sleep, for once.

And so, that’s what my life had become. I had become that high school party girl who made
out with guys at parties and drank until I passed out. Jessica and I had become close and
Alice and I had drifted apart. It was after the first month of the new Bella that Rosalie had
pulled me aside to confront me.

“Bella, what the Hell do you think you’re doing?” Rose demanded, pulling me aside at a
party one Friday night. I nearly dropped the beer I was holding because she pulled me so
hard.

“Watch it!” I bellowed as I ripped my arm out of her grasp.

Rose was a person who didn’t take shit from anyone, and I had given Alice so much grief over
the last few weeks that she stopped dealing with me, so Rose decided to take matters into her
own hands. She looked at the drink as I was about to bring the cup to my lips and she swatted
it out of my hand.

I immediately saw red, “What the FUCK?”

“Oh, grow up, Bella. You are making an ass out of yourself. Let’s go before you force me to
call your father,” she threatened.

I glared at her as I advanced on her, “You wouldn’t dare.”

She leaned in so that her face was mere inches from mine, “Try me.”

In that instant I lost it on her, “Why can’t you just mind your own fucking business? What I
choose to do with my life is none of your concern!”

“Wrong. Bella, you have always been like a sister to me and I love you. I can’t watch you
throw yourself down the path you are headed. It kills me to have to watch this,” Rosalie said,
tears were now streaming down her cheeks. I should have felt bad, but for some reason I
didn’t. Maybe it was the alcohol.

“Well, no one is forcing you to watch. Walk away, Rosalie. Just leave me the fuck alone.” I
pushed past her and headed back towards the keg to grab another beer.

She followed me and turned me to face her again, “So that’s it then? You’re going to throw
away 13 years of friendship for this?” she gestured to her surroundings which included drunk
teenagers who were slobbering all over each other, puking on the floor or passing out in
corners.

Now, while this sight should have freaked me out and had me apologizing and begging for
forgiveness, I just couldn’t seem to care. I grabbed my beer and pushed past her again. I was
tired of listening to her.

I heard her yell behind me, “Fine! I get it. Don’t worry, we will stop trying to be there for
you. You can let your new friends be there for you and help you cope with everything. Just
don’t come crawling back to us when you figure out what a big mistake you’ve made.”

Her words cut me deep, and as I turned around to talk to her, she was already gone. I felt like
an ass, but my feelings were soon forgotten after a few shots and a few more cups of beer.

Another week had passed and neither Rose nor Alice spoke to me again or even attempted to
be nice to me. And this was all fine and dandy with me, for some reason. I had a new circle of
friends. I hung out with Jessica mostly, but I would join Lauren outside for the occasional
smoke. Still can’t believe I did that.

I was minding my own business one day when Jasper made his attempt. Even though I can
only assume both his girlfriend and his sister told him to leave me alone, he and I always had
a special connection and I guess he wanted to try.

“What do you want?” I had asked him, clearly annoyed that he was invading my personal life.

He looked at me and took me by the hand and pulled me to the space beneath the stairs so we
could be alone, “Bella, I’m so worried about you. I can’t keep watching you do this to
yourself.”

“Well, like I told Rosalie, no one is forcing you to.” I turned to walk away, but he had
grabbed me again and held me to his chest. I struggled against his strength.

“Bella, why are you doing this? Why are you pushing away everyone that loves you when they
only want to help you through this?” he asked, and I am pretty sure he was crying.

“Why? WHY? Because none of you can possibly understand what I have been through, what I
am going through.” I told him, finally breaking free.

He looked at me, “Maybe not, but you think that Stanley and her pack of goons understand?”
he asked.

“Well, no…but they also don’t want me to open up and talk about it like the rest of you do. I
want to forget it ever happened and move the fuck on, but I can’t when I am constantly
reminded by you people.” I yelled.

Jasper paused, “It helps to talk about it,” he began.

“Oh stop with the psychobabble bullshit, Jasper. Leave me alone. I’m not going to tell you all
again. Just fuck off and leave me to do what I want with MY life.” I turned on my heel and
walked away.

I didn’t come to my senses for most of that year. But by that time, I had fallen too far and they
had moved on with their lives and had no need for me and my crazy behavior. Nothing anyone
could say to them helped. And that’s when I met Jake. He was my savior. My constant.

I snapped back to the present and realized that while lost in thought Alice was curling my hair
and Rosalie was painting my nails. I felt like we were back in high school and they were
primping me and trying to force me to be something I wasn’t. I couldn’t help but laugh at how
oddly familiar all this had felt. It was a great feeling. I was more than okay with it.

We sat around for hours just talking and laughing about this, that and the other thing when
Edward finally came back, Charlie was right behind him carrying two large pizzas.

“Eddie, how’s it going?” Rosalie asked, calling him by his most hated nickname.

He laughed and came and kissed my forehead, before sitting next to me, “Well work was a
bore, but needed to be done. I’m just glad to be done and back here.”

I smiled and leaned into him, inhaling his musky cologne, “I’m glad you’re back too. I missed
you.” I leaned up and placed a gentle kiss on his lips and then rested my head back onto his
shoulder.

Charlie set the pizzas on the table and then grabbed plates. Everyone dug in and began talking
some more about their days while we ate.

It was getting late and Alice and Rose had to leave, but they promised to come back and we’d
hang out again. This excited me because I really enjoyed hanging out with them the way that
we used to be, without any awkwardness about the past and how I had treated them.

Edward, Charlie and I went to the living room and watched TV together for a bit before
Charlie retired for the evening. It was good to see him again for more than an hour.

Edward and I stayed on the couch, lying wrapped up in each other’s arms as the TV blared in
the background. I was facing him and he was tickling my back with his finger tips and placing
soft kisses all over my face. We laid there in silence staring into each other’s eyes, gently
caressing and kissing one another as well. Not a word was spoken, but nothing needed to be
said. I felt completely at peace in his arms and all my troubles seemed to melt away when we
were together.

I felt my eyes getting heavy and I let them drift closed as I snuggled in closer to Edward’s
body, inhaling his scent as though I would never smell it again. I smiled as I felt his arms
wrap around me tighter, keeping me as far from the edge of the couch as he could.

I sighed as I felt his lips press tightly to the top of my head and then I heard him exhale as he
spoke softly, “I love you, Isabella Swan. I can’t live my life without you. You are the reason
for my entire existence. I need you.”

I opened my eyes and looked up into his, “I love you too, Edward.” And then he leaned his
head down and placed his lips against mine and we kissed. I laid my head back down and felt
him wrap me back up in his tight embrace as I drifted off into a dreamless sleep.

CHAPTER NINE:

Sigh.

This was nice. Edward and I were lying on a blanket in the middle of our meadow staring up
at the clouds. I had my head upon his chest as he ran his long fingers through my hair. I had
the top few buttons of his shirt undone as I lightly trailed my fingers along his defined chest
muscles.

Edward had brought me here for a picnic lunch. It was so romantic. He had packed
sandwiches on some fancy bread that I had no idea even existed and a bottle of red wine. It
was just the two of us in the middle of the best place on Earth.

It had been two weeks since our ‘encounter’ and he was such a gentleman about it all. He
didn’t try to push me any further than I was willing to go, and I was grateful to him for it.
Every day I felt closer and closer to being ready to take that step with him, but I didn’t really
trust my judgment after what had happened last time. So I figured I would just take it easy and
let it play out and hopefully I would just know. I’d hate to put Edward through another
episode of rejection mid-way through sex, even if he was super understanding about it.

And that’s what I loved most about him. The fact that he loved me so completely and
unconditionally that he had waited all this time for me to be ready. Most guys would have just
given up and moved onto the next available piece of ass. But not Edward. He was constantly
reassuring me that he was going to wait for me no matter how long it took for me to be okay.
It was the most calming and settling feeling on the planet.

I thought back to two weeks ago when we told each other that we loved one another. It made
me feel the happiest I have been in the last four months, since the accident. When he said
those three little words…well five if you include the use of my first and last name…, it was as
though I could feel his emotions as he spoke. His love for me just radiated off of him. When
we touched and that electric current coursed through his fingertips, it was as though I could
feel his love pulsing through my veins and I felt more than complete once again in my life.

I looked up at his face as he stared up at the sky and I’m not sure why, but I felt an incredibly
familiar and intense pull towards him and had to be as close to him as possible without any
barriers between us. I leaned up on my side and as I did he turned his head to face me. He had
a look of confusion on his face, which was soon remedied by my lips on his. His eyes closed
as he brought his hand up behind my neck and pulled my face closer to his as my tongue slid
into his mouth. I could feel a familiar ache between my legs as I grew more and more aroused
for this man lying by my side.

Just kissing him wasn’t enough, though. I needed to be closer. I needed to be touching every
inch of his body at once. It felt as though if I weren’t touching him right this second, that I
could be dreaming all of this and that none of it would be real. I needed him more than I could
even vocalize to anyone, including myself. It was almost as if I needed to be with him
intimately to guarantee the reason for my existence.

I shifted my body over and straddled his hips, my lips not once leaving his. I felt his strong
hands massage my thighs and work their way up to my backside as I pushed my hips down

against his growing arousal. I moaned into his mouth as I felt his fingers dig into me, pulling
me closer into his erection, which was straining against the confines of his jeans.

My fingers fumbled with the remainder of his shirt buttons so I could get it undone. I needed
to feel his skin against mine again. I needed that electric pulse to course through my entire
being all at once and from every inch of his body, instead of just where his fingertips chose to
touch me.

His hands drifted up from my ass and I felt them on the bare flesh of my waist. His warm
hands roamed up my back, under my shirt and pulled me closer to him so that my breasts
were pressed firmly against his chest. I felt him lifting my shirt slowly up my back until it
rested right above my bra. I pulled my face away from his and looked into his emerald green
eyes as I sat up and lifted my shirt over my head. I took one quick look around to make sure
we were definitely alone before I threw my shirt to the side and then reached behind me and
undid my bra, tossing it to join my shirt.

I watched as his eyes traveled down from my face and rested on my exposed chest. They
didn’t linger long before he sat up and crushed my body to his and our lips found each other’s
once again. This time I kissed him less tenderly and replaced that tenderness with more
intensity and need. I began to pull his shirt down and off his shoulders roughly, trying to get
his body as exposed to me as possible.

His kisses became more eager as he laid me back onto the blanket and hovered over me,
positioning himself between my legs. He pushed his hips into me, eliciting a moan from
somewhere deep within my body as his concealed erection ground against me again and
again.

I raked my nails up his back as he pushed into me once more, growling as he did it. The
sounds he made caused me to ache even more for him and I could feel the dampness between
my legs continue to pool. One of his hands traveled down to my breasts where he stopped to
roll and pinch my nipples between his fingers, making sure to pay equal attention to each one,
as I threw my head back and cried out for him not to stop.

My hands moved from his back to the front where I worked hurriedly to undo his jeans to free
the rest of his body. He pushed into me one more time before I thrust my hands into his now
open jeans and wrapped my hand around his length and began to stroke him. He broke our
kiss and looked into my eyes with a look that told me he thought we were about to go further
than I was ready for.

I couldn’t think about that. All I wanted to think about was Edward and what we were about
to do. I didn’t know what to say, so I simply brought my face back up to his and kissed him
again, showing him…no proving to him…that I wanted this. And that I was more than ready
for this step in our relationship.

I felt his hands move down my body and begin to undo my jeans. He sat up and began to slide
my jeans and panties off slowly, still watching my every expression to make sure this was still
okay. Once my pants had been discarded he was hovering over me once more as I began to
push his pants down his solid thighs. I slipped my feet into the waist of his pants and
continued to push them until they were at his ankles where he continued to push them off the
rest of the way.

He lowered himself back down over my body and brushed my hair away from my face. He
leaned down, slightly apprehensive, as he kissed me softly. I deepened the kiss and pulled his
body closer to mine so that every inch of our bodies that could touch was doing just that.

His hands traveled down from my face, to my arms, then down my sides which made me
shiver slightly in delight. Then they trickled over my hips and moved to my thighs. He lifted
his weight, ever so slightly and slipped one of his hands between us and ran his fingers
through my slick folds. His fingers passed over my aching nub and I cried out in pleasure,
bucking my hips up into his hands, begging to be touched again and again and again. He
moved his fingers back towards my hot, wet core and slipped a finger inside. He pushed in
and out of my body slowly, testing my readiness before slipping another finger inside and
teasing my clit with his thumb. I felt a shiver run through my body as my climax drew nearer.

I could feel my walls tightening around his long, talented fingers as he slid in and out of me.
Whenever he was deep within me he would gently curl his fingers towards my front and it
sent my body into near convulsions each time he did it. He kept constant pressure on my clit
as he continued his ministrations within my body.

His mouth left mine as I moaned loudly and he began to trail kisses down my jaw, to my
neck, then across my collar bones. He continued to ravish every inch of my upper body with
his mouth and tongue until he reached my breasts. He drew my right nipple into his mouth
and began to swirl his tongue around it, licking it and occasionally nipping it.

I arched my back into this feeling as his fingers once again hit my g-spot, this time though, he
didn’t release the pressure. He kept his fingers on that sweet spot, stroking it ever so slightly.
He bit down a little harder on my breast as my walls tightened around his fingers and I came
hard against his hand. I cried out, and my voice echoed in the emptiness of the meadow.

He released my breast from his mouth as he looked up at me, flashing me that crooked smile
of his that drove me wild. He was clearly pleased with himself, and he should have been. I can
honestly say I have never felt anything quite that intense in all my life. He slid his fingers out
of me and moved himself until he was directly above my heaving, glistening body. He leaned
down and we kissed softly before he pulled back and looked into my eyes.

“Bella,” he began in a husky voice I barely recognized. I placed a single finger over his mouth
to silence him. I was ready. Had I not just proved that? I needed to be with him in every way.
I had already given him my heart and my soul. Now I wanted him to have my body and
anything else I had to give.

I pushed on his chest and he rolled over onto his back, pulling me with him. I was straddling
his hips and I could feel every inch of his manhood between my wet folds. I shifted my hips
slightly and watched as his eyes rolled back and he moaned. I lifted my body, reaching
between us to guide him into my waiting opening.

I lowered myself down onto his impressive shaft and felt as he filled me completely. It was as
if we were made for each other. I adjusted to his size and then began to move above him. His
hands fell to my hips and gripped me tightly as I moved up and down above him.

I leaned my body forward a little and placed my hands on his chiseled chest as I moved. I
watched as his eyes hooded and I could feel his body tense. I could only assume his orgasm

was near. I quickened my pace above him and pushed myself into him trying to find friction
to bring myself over the edge with him.

He brought one of his hands around and began making circular motions on my clit,
intensifying my pleasure. It was as if he always knew what I was thinking or needed.
Sometimes it felt as though he knew me better than I knew myself. Which wasn’t a bad thing.

Edward flipped us over so he was on top again and began thrusting into me with fervor. I
moaned and cried out as my climax built within my body. I brought my hands around his
body and gripped his ass, trying to pull him deeper. My legs instinctively moved up his body
as my heels dug into his backside as well. With every thrust I tightened my legs around him,
trying to pull him even closer, if that was even possible.

I felt his length hit my g-spot repeatedly, bringing my orgasm on even faster, and quite
possibly stronger, than before. I arched my back again and cried out, “Oh God, Edward. Yes.
Don’t stop. Please, don’t stop.”

I closed my eyes as my abdominal muscles tightened as my climax began and then my
muscles tightened all around him as he thrust into me several more times, letting our orgasms
slam through our bodies simultaneously.

“Open your eyes, Bella. Please. I need to know you are here with me,” he said as he continued
to slide into me. I obeyed and opened my eyes, looking into his hooded green eyes as he
pushed into me one final time, as we both let out one final moan.

He relaxed his body above me and rested on his elbows, our sweaty bodies sticking together
as we tried to catch our breath. He brushed the hair from my slick forehead and placed a
single gentle kiss on my lips. I sighed in contentment and smiled up at him.

He laid one more kiss on my forehead before rolling off of me, relieving my slender body of
his weight. He laid next to me with his arm draped across me for a few more minutes before I
grabbed his wrist and looked at the time on his watch.

I was shocked to see that we had been in the meadow for six hours already. I was curious to
know how much of that time was spent making love. It didn’t seem like we were here that
long before we started groping each other like a couple of horny teenagers.

I groaned as I sat up against the weight of his arms. I leaned over his naked body and grabbed
my discarded clothes from the pile we had created. At least we had the decency to throw it all
in the same general area and not everywhere in the meadow.

I slid my jeans on, forgoing my underwear, considering how damp they still felt from our
foreplay. I reached for my bra next and I noticed Edward’s blissed out face transform into a
pout as I covered more and more of my naked body.

As if accepting defeat, he sat up and reached for his clothes and began to get dressed.
Watching him cover up his marvelous body made me feel as though I was losing a little piece
of him with each inch of his flesh that got covered. I think I undoubtedly understood his
earlier pout.

I fastened my bra and slid the straps up my arms before slipping my sweater on. I looked over
as I combed my fingers through my tousled hair and saw him buttoning the last few buttons
on his shirt, covering up his perfect chest.

He began to pack up the remnants of our picnic lunch date into the basket while I sat and
watched. I pulled my knees up to my chest and rested my head on my knees as I smiled at
him. I felt fantastic. Every part of my being was relaxed and calm.

Edward looked over at me and winked as he fastened up the basket and I felt a blush creep
across my cheeks. Which was something only he could make me do with a simple wink. It
had been that way since high school.

I stood up as he did and I picked up the blanket and we folded it together. He tucked it under
the handles of the basket before he took my hand in his and led me from the meadow and
back to the spot where we had parked the Volvo. He opened the trunk of the Volvo and placed
the blanket and basket inside before coming back to my side and opening my door for me.

I stepped one foot in the car and was just about to bend down to climb in when Edward
grabbed my wrist and pulled me back to him and kissed me passionately, almost as if in
thanks.

“I love you so much, Bella. You know that, right? Please tell me you know that,” he said.

I smiled and placed my hands on his cheeks, “Don’t be silly. Of course I know that. And I
love you too. I can’t imagine where I would be right now without you.” I kissed him softly
and then got into the car.

Edward ran around to his side of the car and climbed in, closing the door behind him. He
started the car and then took my hand in his as we drove away from our spot. This spot was
special before today, but after today it became the most special place on the planet for me. I
didn’t think it could get any closer to heaven-like, but now I wasn’t so sure.

As we drove I looked out the window at the scenery as it all passed by in a blur. I would
occasionally catch a glimpse of a deer or two before they bolted back into the forest. I
occasionally stole glances towards Edward who was smiling non-stop and I couldn’t help the
grin that was spreading widely across my face.

He looked over at me, catching me ogling him and he lifted my hand to his mouth and kissed
it. I laid my head back on the seat’s headrest as I continued to look at him, memorizing in
vivid detail every one of his facial features.

As my eyes drifted over his lips, my thoughts couldn’t help but revisit where those lips had
kissed, where that tongue had licked and where those teeth had nipped. Suddenly, I could feel
my arousal awakening once more, and had to shift in my seat to try to quell these feelings.

As I thought back to this afternoon I couldn’t help but smile at the fact that I had no regrets to
what we had just done. No memories came flooding back at all. All I saw was Edward and I
and how great we were together.

I felt as though I had finally moved on.

CHAPTER TEN:

After that glorious day in the meadow, I couldn’t help but be in a good mood. Can any of you
blame me? I had finally made love with Edward freaking Cullen. He was my first crush and
now he was so much more to me. I loved him more than even mere words could say, and he
felt the same way and had no problems telling me at every opportunity.

Our passion for one another didn’t end that day in the meadow, either. He was always so
caring and attentive and made sure that my every need was met each and every time we were
together. I couldn’t imagine being any luckier.

My dreams were filled with nothing but happiness most nights. I couldn’t even remember the
last time I dreamt of the accident, and honestly, I was more than okay with that. The longer I
could go without thinking of it, the better off I was.

I awoke the morning of my birthday wrapped up in his big, strong arms. Since the meadow,
Edward and I didn’t spend a night apart, especially since he was having to work so much
during the days. He would come over for dinner with Charlie and I and stay the night. Charlie
was uncharacteristically understanding about the whole thing. Though, I’m pretty sure he still
shot Edward a few looks before heading off to bed. He wouldn’t be Charlie without being a
little over protective of me. Gotta love him.

I pushed my body back into Edward’s as his arm tightened around me. I groaned happily and
turned my head to be met with his lips on the tip of my nose as I smiled and closed my eyes
again.

“Good morning, love. Happy Birthday.” I felt his arm loosen around me, so I rolled over and
wrapped my arm and leg over his body, pulling him closer to me, not wanting him to get up
and go to work. I wanted to spend the entire day in bed with him. It didn’t matter if we had
sex or not. Just having him hold me was more than enough. Though, the sex was goo-oood,
and I wouldn’t mind if that’s all we did all day either. It was my birthday after all, I could
probably ask for that.

He wriggled free of my grasp though and sat up, reaching for his clothes. I pouted as I
watched him cover his naked body, “Ugh. Do you have to go to work today? Can’t you play
hooky, just this once? It’s my birthday.” I played up my puppy dog eyes and made a pretty
decent pouty lip, hoping he couldn’t possibly turn me down.

He answered with that crooked smirk of his and the shake of his head. He placed a kiss on my
forehead as he stood to pull his pants up. He grabbed his t-shirt and headed to the bathroom.

I fell back onto my pillow, sad that he had to go to work for my birthday. Normally, I was not
one that enjoyed celebrating my birthday. I hated being the center of attention. But this year, I
felt like I owed it to myself to change that and keep living life to its fullest. I took way too
many things for granted in years past and I wasn’t about to keep doing it.

By the time he had gotten back, I hadn’t moved from my position on my bed. I furrowed my
brow and tried to pretend to be mad at him, but all he had to do was smile at me and I melted.
He sat next to me on my bed and leaned over me. His breath was minty fresh and I was

silently praying he didn’t want me to kiss him fully on the lips, because the thought of my
morning breath made me a little nauseous.

“Listen, I’ll be back after my shift, I promise. I don’t want to leave you, especially on your
birthday, but I have to. I will try and get out of there early though and make it back to you.”
He leaned forward and kissed me lightly on the lips. I smiled against his lips and then he
stood up and left the room. I heard him let himself out and then I heard the Volvo start and
peel away from the curb.

I sighed as I sat up and looked around my room. I realized it was probably good that he left,
because I was seriously behind in my house work. My room was a disaster. Our clothes were
thrown onto the floor from our late night fits of passion. Thankfully Charlie was working
most nights, and even the nights he wasn’t, he was a pretty heavy sleeper…at least I really
hoped he was.

I climbed out of bed and grabbed my t-shirt and shorts from the floor beside my bed and
pulled them on. I stood up and began piling all of the clothes scattered on the floor into my
hamper so I could take them downstairs and do the laundry. Once my floor was cleared, I
made my bed and then took my hamper downstairs and started the laundry.

Once I had my first load of laundry in, I decided I should probably eat and then try to think of
a plan for today. Charlie had tonight off for my birthday, so he was working a few extra hours
today, after last night's shift, to make up for it. So I had until dinner before Edward and
Charlie would be back, so I had to keep myself busy or go crazy, and considering I just got
over feeling crazy, I figured busy was better.

Then I got a simply delightful idea. I would surprise Edward at the hospital with lunch. And
maybe a little dessert. He would love that. I ate my eggs and toast and then decided to go
upstairs for a quick shower. I climbed in under the hot spray of water and just stood there as
the bathroom filled with steam.

I washed my hair and body and then shaved my legs. Nothing worse than a little leg stubble
to kill the mood. When I finished cleaning myself up, I shut the water off, wrapped my big
fluffy blue towel around my body and climbed out of the shower and headed over to brush my
teeth. I kept my towel wrapped around me as I headed back to my room to find something to
wear.

I stood in front of my closet looking at my wardrobe choices. If I was planning to seduce him,
I was thinking it would have to be pretty revealing and have easy access. I decided on a short
denim skirt and a royal blue button up blouse. I headed to my dresser to find a bra and panties.
I found my blue bra with a front clasp and the matching blue thong. Perfect.

I got dressed and then towel dried my hair before blow drying it. I pulled out my curling iron
and plugged it in so I could put a little wave in my hair. When my hair was done to my liking
I exited my room and headed downstairs to begin prepping our lunch.

I had an hour and I wanted this lunch to be as good as the picnic he had prepared for us. I
packed some grapes and strawberries before I started preparing some sandwiches for us. I
found a bottle of wine that I had bought a few weeks back for dinner one day and I packed
that along with two wine glasses for us.

I grabbed the basket I had packed everything in and then headed for the front door. I put my
jacket on and grabbed the keys to my truck and slipped out the front door. I climbed into my
rickety old truck and headed for the hospital.

The entire way there I couldn’t help but smile as I thought about all the naughty things we
could do to one another over the next hour. This excited me in so many ways and I found
myself having to think about other things so I wouldn’t get myself too worked up before I got
there. That was a task in itself.

I pulled into the hospital parking lot and spotted the Volvo right away. I parked as close to the
doors as I could. I grabbed the basket and headed for the front doors, adjusting my skirt so I
wasn’t inadvertently flashing the entire hospital on my way in.

I passed by reception, which was empty anyways. I was actually beginning to wonder if
anyone ever worked here anymore. Anytime I was here anymore the receptionist was always
away.

I walked down the corridor towards Carlisle’s office, hoping Edward’s was down in the same
area. As I walked in that direction, I again felt a familiar pull towards a particular room that I
hadn’t been near in months. As I drew nearer I heard two familiar male voices coming from
inside. I looked inside and I saw the curtain drawn and Edward and Carlisle were both in their
white doctor’s coats and were talking while standing about ten feet away from the patient’s
bed.

I could still hear the ventilator and I couldn’t believe this person was still on it after this long.
I stood out of sight, for some reason feeling the deep desire to eavesdrop on their
conversation.

“Edward, you have to have faith that things will look up. I know it’s hard to stand by and feel
completely helpless in this situation, but you have to try and focus on the good in your life
right now to get through the bad.” I heard Carlisle say.

Edward sighed, “I know that, dad. But I can’t stand to see someone I care about be hooked up
to that machine when I know that they’d be so against it to begin with. It kills me that this is
all because of me.”

Who was he talking about? My curiosity had been peaked, so against my own better
judgment, I continued to listen.

“This is no one’s fault, least of all yours. We are doing all we can. The rest is up to her. Just
give it time. Things are beginning to look up,” Carlisle said. “Listen, I have a few other
patients I have to look in on. You should take a break.”

“Thanks. I will.”

I heard footsteps and I panicked. I walked the rest of the way down the hallway and found
Edward’s office next to Carlisle’s and let myself in. I was still having issues coming to terms
with what I had just heard. He said he cared for this person. I felt this deep desire to know
who this woman was that Edward felt so responsible for her being in here, but at the same
time, I didn’t want to pry.

I took my jacket off and placed it over the arm of one of the leather chairs as so many
scenarios were running through my mind. Was she a patient that didn’t make it through
surgery ideally? Someone Edward knew in his personal life before me? A friend? A lover? I
began to panic and my breathing became erratic, tears were fighting to flow freely down my
cheeks. It was almost as though I felt that this was my wake up call to end a horrible
nightmare.

Just as soon as my panic attack came on, I heard the office door open and a sad, husky voice
filled the room, “Bella?”

I wiped the few tears that had fallen and turned to face him. I pushed my mouth up into a
smile, “Hey. I thought maybe I’d bring you lunch today,” I told him, indicating towards the
basket I had set on his desk.

He closed the door behind him and quickly made his way across the room, closing the gap
between us in seconds. He pulled me up into his arms and held me close, inhaling deeply.

I heard him sigh against my neck before he spoke, “I love you so much. I don’t know what I
would do if we couldn’t be together again.”

My brow furrowed upon hearing the tone in his voice. He was so sad and lost. I could tell he
was still upset about this patient. Actually, I couldn’t just tell, I could feel it. And in that
moment, I only wanted to comfort him the way he had comforted me these last couple of
months.

I pulled back from his tight embrace and cradled his face in my hands, “Well then, let’s not let
that happen.” I tilted my head up and pulled his face towards mine as I kissed him.

His arms tightened around my waist again as we deepened our kiss. I laced my fingers into his
silky, bronze hair, pulling him even closer to me. Edward’s tongue slipped between my lips
and fought with mine for dominance over the kiss.

He began to move us backwards until I hit his desk. He reached behind me and moved a few
items off to the side with the sweep of an arm, not wiping it all clear to the floor, even though
that would have been extremely hot. I figured he just didn’t want to deal with the mess
afterwards. He grabbed my hips firmly and picked me up, setting me on the edge of his desk.

I brought my legs up and wrapped them around his waist, pulling his body closer to mine. My
hands moved from his hair and down to his shoulders where I began to push his white lab coat
off his shoulders and let it fall to the floor. I then began to hurriedly unbutton his shirt as he
worked the buttons on mine. Soon his shirt was open and my hands were clawing and tracing
the lines of his upper body.

When my shirt was undone he broke away from the kiss to look at me. He looked down at my
almost bare chest and then brought his hands down and palmed both of my breasts. I threw
my head back and moaned. He found the front clasp and snapped it open, freeing my breasts.
He took them in his hands again and began to roll my nipples between his fingers. I felt them
harden under his touch as my panties became even more dampened from the feel of his hands
on my bare flesh.

He brought his mouth down to my neck and began to kiss and nip at the flesh just below my
ear. My hands traveled down his chest until I found his pants. I quickly undid his belt and
unbuttoned his black dress pants. As soon as they were undone, I worked them down his
thighs and let them fall to the floor. I wrapped my hand around his erection and began to
stroke up and down his length, eliciting growls and moans from deep within his throat.

Edward hands left my breasts and traveled down my bare stomach before they quickly slid
over my skirt and down my thighs to my knees where he began to massage my flesh in tiny
circles as he slowed his pace and worked his way back up my thighs and under my skirt until
he found the lacy fabric of my panties. I felt as he slid his fingers into the fabric and was met
with my hot, wet sex. He ran his fingers up and down through my lower lips as I brought my
head down to his shoulder and moaned at the sensations that were beginning to rock through
my body.

“I need you,” he told me.

I looked up into his eyes and smiled, “I’m yours.”

He bent his head down and kissed me with a burning intensity that I was afraid might
incinerate the entire the hospital. He removed his hand from my panties and then reached
further up to the waist of them and began to tug them down my thighs. He removed himself
from between my legs and I whimpered at the loss of his heat. As soon as he had discarded
the lacy blue piece of fabric to the floor, he had quickly taken his place again.

I sighed in contentment as I felt the tip of his erection resting at my opening. I lifted my legs
back around his waist and pulled him closer with my feet on his backside.

Edward’s hands found my hips and gripped them firmly as he slowly entered me. Once he
was deep within me he shuddered and withdrew a little ways before pushing even deeper. I
moaned as he hit new depths at this angle. I wrapped my arms tightly around his neck as his
thrusts became more manic and he slid easily through the ever accumulating wetness between
my legs.

With each thrust deep within me I could feel my orgasm building as all the muscles in my
body tightened. I dug my heels into the flesh of his ass, forcing him to push harder into me.
He tightened his grip on my hips and quickened his pace. The only sound to be heard, apart
from the moans and groans, was the slapping of skin on skin as the sweat beaded on both of
our foreheads.

I dropped my head against his shoulder again as I felt my climax crash through me and my
walls tighten around his shaft as he continued to push into me a few more times, moaning and
whispering my name as he came.

We were still in that moment. I continued to hold his body against mine. I wasn’t ready to be
apart from him just yet. He finally inhaled deeply and pulled away from me. I dropped my
legs from around his waist and refastened my bra and shirt while he pulled up his pants and
began straightening himself out. He bent down to grab his coat and at the same time grabbed
my thong and started to slide it up my legs for me. When he got to the tops of my thighs I had
to hop off of the desk so he could get them up the rest of the way. He then readjusted my skirt
for me and pulled me back into his arms for a few more minutes.

I inhaled his scent, which was now a mixture of his cologne and sex. He was simply
intoxicating and I couldn’t believe just how much I loved this man. Four months ago I figured
that I was alone, other than Charlie, and now I had all these friends who were back in my life
as if nothing bad had ever happened to separate us.

It seemed far too good to be true, and I hated to even think it, but what if it was?

CHAPTER ELEVEN:

Edward and I ate the lunch I had made for us. We sat on the brown leather couch in his office
and picked at the fruit and ate our sandwiches. We didn’t end up drinking the wine, so it sat in
the basket still full. It hadn’t really occured to me at the time that it probably wasn’t in
anyone’s best interest for a Doctor to be drinking on the job. I hadn’t really thought that part, I
was really just trying to be romantic. I decided to save it for dinner tonight instead.

We talked a little and I was able to get him to laugh a bit here and there. Nothing like I
usually could, but it was a start, and he was having a rough day, so I wasn’t expecting any
miracles or anything. Carlisle had popped his head in at one point to let Edward know he was
taking his lunch and to page him if he needed anything, to which Edward shooed him away.

When lunch was finished Edward helped me pack it all up before I walked to the door. I
opened his office door and turned to him as I gave him one more kiss before I left his office
with my empty lunch basket. I waved to Edward one more time as I walked away from his
office. I watched as he closed the door so he could get back to work. I turned around and kept
walking towards the main exit.

Once again I felt that familiar pull as I passed that room. I stopped at the doorway and looked
in to see the curtain drawn. She had no visitors for the first time that I had noticed, and it
would have been the perfect time for me to go in and see for myself who it was that had
Edward so worked up earlier. I looked around to make sure I was completely alone before I
took several apprehensive steps into the room and reached out.

My finger tips were barely touching the curtain when my spidey-sense began tingling. I
withdrew my hand and decided it was best to just keep walking. As much as my curiosity was
eating away at me, snooping around wasn’t the best way to get my answers. I figured if
Edward wanted me to know about this person he would eventually open up to me on his own.

I had to accept that maybe he had parts of his past he didn’t want to talk about, just like I had
parts of my past that I didn’t want to talk about. And he was more than understanding about it
all, too. He never once pressured me about any part of my past, even though he clearly knew
about it. So I had to show him the same respect and back off until he was ready. Which,
clearly, he was not.

I exited the hospital and walked out to my truck and climbed in. It didn’t take long before I
was grinning from ear to ear as I remembered our pre-lunch activities. I loved the way he
could make me feel when he was touching me. Even just the memory of it gave me shivers
and caused my skin to break out in gooseflesh. It was as if the rest of the world just slipped
away into a black abyss and it was just the two of us each and every time we were together.

What happened in his office was the first time we had ever been together out of pure need and
desire and not just about love. He needed me and I needed to show him that I wasn’t going
anywhere, because for some reason, completely unbeknownst to me, he had this crazy
inclination that I wasn’t going to stick around. It was as though he had been jilted in a past
relationship. And if I ever met the person who made him feel this way…

I drove home slowly, taking the scenic route around town. I didn’t really want to spend the
rest of my birthday afternoon alone. So I just drove and thought about everything that had
happened today. The good and the bad.

I wasn’t sure how long I drove for, but I finally decided to head for home because I still had to
get my laundry done before Edward and Charlie came home for dinner. I drove up to the
house and put my truck into park. I grabbed the lunch basket and headed towards the house. I
didn’t realize it right away, but I was still smiling from ear to ear.

I skipped up the front steps and pushed my key into the door and unlocked it. I opened the
door and stepped inside and turned on the entry way light. I nearly jumped out of my skin at
what happened next.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” cried a group of people. My hand clutched at my chest and I’m
pretty sure I felt my heart stop dead in my chest. I looked around and saw everyone I loved
was gathered in the living room. Esme, Alice and Rosalie stood in front, with Jasper, Emmett,
Edward, Carlisle and Charlie behind them.

There were balloons and streamers everywhere. As well as flowers and presents and I even
saw an elaborate cake that could easily feed about twenty people. I couldn’t believe they had
put this much effort into today. I was in complete shock. I didn’t even see anyone’s cars
outside when I pulled up. I even opened the front door again to double check.

How would they have done this if I hadn’t left for the day? I guess it was lucky for them that I
decided to leave for lunch. And even luckier that I took the scenic route home. I mean, I had
left Edward at the hospital along with Carlisle after all.

I couldn’t help the smile that spread across my face at the sight of everyone gathered in my
living room. Like I said before, I am not one that usually enjoys celebrating my birthday. And
to be surprised with a party was definitely not on my list of top things that I enjoyed in the
slightest. But for some reason, seeing everyone I loved come together for me today, warmed
my heart and made this the best day ever.

Edward pushed through the crowd and wrapped me up in his arms. I could still feel his earlier
tension while he embraced me and a large part of me wanted to pull him aside and tell him to
talk to me about it, but the other part of me told me not to pry. If it was any of my business he
would tell me. Right?

He pushed his forehead against mine, “I hope you don’t mind everyone being here. Alice had
this crazy idea that this party was a good idea to bring a little normalcy back into your life,”
he whispered.

I couldn’t help but laugh, “Yeah. That sounds like Alice.” Alice loved any excuse to plan a
party, so this had "Alice" written all over it.

Edward shifted his head and kissed me on the forehead before releasing me to greet the rest of
my guests.

Alice and Rose embraced me in one giant group hug and I hugged them back as hard as I
could. I loved these girls so much and was so happy to have them back in my life. I hated that

we had lost so many years, but they seemed to carry on as though nothing bad had happened
at all, and I loved them even more for that. I totally deserved to have my nose rubbed in it for
all of eternity, but they were able to just forgive and forget.

Esme approached me next and gave me one of her famous mom-hugs. I didn’t want to let her
go as I inhaled her jasmine scented perfume and squeezed her just a little bit tighter. She
wished me a happy birthday and kissed me on the cheek before Carlisle stepped in.

“Happy birthday Bella. I do hope this isn’t too much of an inconvenience for you,” he said as
he hugged me.

I simply shook my head and smiled, “It’s fine, really.”

Emmett and Jasper each hugged me and said happy birthday before they retreated to the
kitchen, where I assumed there was a full buffet spread out. I giggled. Typical.

And then there was Charlie. He wrapped me up into his arms and I squeezed him tightly. I
heard him sigh deeply, “Happy birthday, Bells.” And then I felt him press his lips to the top of
my head just before he ended our embrace to join the boys in the kitchen.

I continued to mingle with my guests and eventually found myself parked on the living room
couch with Alice, Rose and Esme as we sipped wine and talked about all the girly things in
life.

I listened as they talked about what they had been up to the last few days. I was really trying
to listen and join into the conversation as best I could, but I just couldn’t help but look around
the room to see where Edward had disappeared to. I found him over by the stairs with Carlisle
and they looked like they were having a heated discussion. I tried to tune out the girls, as rude
as that was, so I could maybe overhear what Edward and his dad were talking about.

I saw Edward pinch the bridge of his nose, and in that instant, I knew that whatever it was
they were talking about wasn’t good. He was upset about something and whatever Carlisle
was saying to him wasn’t helping.

“Son, you need to stop blaming yourself. You are not doing anyone any good like this. Just
enjoy today and we will discuss this later,” Carlisle told him as he laid a hand on Edward’s
shoulder.

I watched as Edward shrugged out of his father’s grasp, “You don’t understand. How can I
enjoy myself when all I have done for the last four months is blame myself for putting her in
this situation to begin with?”

Was he talking about his patient again? Shit, I really had to stop eavesdropping, all it did was
drive me crazy that I couldn’t ask him about it without feeling like I was prying.

“Edward. Stop. What happened couldn’t be helped. Everything happens for a reason.”

Edward was annoyed and he lashed out, “Oh don’t feed me that bullshit. The only ‘reason’
this happened was because of my stupidity. I fucked up and multiple people are being forced

to pay the price.” Edward’s voice had escalated and now everyone had fallen silent and was
looking at them.

Carlisle looked at everyone around the room apologetically and then back at Edward, “Son,
maybe we should talk about this later. Go to Bella. Enjoy the day.” And with that Carlisle
turned and headed to the kitchen for food.

Edward came and sat next to me on the couch and pulled me into his arms. I hated that he was
so torn up about this. I just wished he would talk to me about it. It might help.

“I’m sorry. I really don’t want to ruin this day for you,” he told me.

I placed a hand on his cheek and looked into his eyes, “No. Don’t be sorry. It’s fine.”

He placed a kiss on my forehead and then smiled, “I love you so much.”

I laughed, “You better.”

And then the party continued on as if nothing had happened. Edward still seemed a little
tense, but that was to be expected, I suppose. I tried to cheer him up multiple times, but it was
like he couldn’t hear me at all. I was a little disheartened by the whole situation, but was
willing to work through it. I would make him smile by the end of the night, even if it killed
me.

It was getting late and everyone decided that it was about time to call it a night. I said
goodnight to everyone and thanked them for a lovely party. I closed the door and it was just
Charlie, Edward and myself for the evening. We decided to sit and watch a bit of TV together
before turning in.

An hour had passed and I noticed Charlie yawn. I giggled and watched as he stood up from
his recliner and stretched, “Well, I’m going to give you kids a little privacy. Hope you had a
good birthday, Bells. I love you. See you in the morning.”

I watched as Charlie retreated upstairs and headed to bed. I turned to Edward who sat on the
couch sipping his wine. He seemed like he was in a slightly better mood, but still far from the
Edward I knew from the last few months.

I decided to snuggle up to him, still hopeful to brighten his mood. I moved closer to him on
the couch after placing my wine on the coffee table. I took his wine glass from him and set it
next to mine before I straddled him. He placed his hands on my hips and began to draw lazy
circles with his thumbs.

He sighed as I ran my fingers through his silky hair and began to massage his scalp, hoping to
relieve a little of his stress. He closed his eyes and moaned. He opened his eyes after a few
minutes to look at me, “I really didn’t mean to be such a downer tonight. I just have so much
on my mind and I don’t want to burden you with it until I know a little more. It’s bad enough
I have involved others.”

I saw his brow crease with worry and this saddened me. I ran my hands across his forehead,
“Shhh. It’s fine. What’s important is we are together. You will tell me when you are ready.

You have been more than patient with me the last little while, I can do the same for you.” I
rubbed his scalp a little harder and he moaned again as he laid his head back against the
couch, “All I ask is that if you need anything, anything at all, to let me know.”

“I just want you to hold me like before,” he said quietly.

I smiled and wrapped my arms around his neck. I leaned my face closer to his and whispered,
“Oh, I think I can handle that.” I leaned down a little further and kissed him softly on the lips.

I decided it was time for us to turn in so I could do what he had asked, so I stood up and took
him by the hand and led him up the stairs to my bedroom. I closed the door so we could get
ready for bed. I climbed in under my comforter and waited for Edward to join me. He climbed
in beside me and turned his body to face me as I faced him. We pulled each other close and I
ran my fingers through his hair, still gently massaging his scalp while he traced lazy designs
up and down my back until finally we were both sound asleep.

***

All I saw was darkness and all I could hear were the machines beeping and a horde of
panicked voices around me. I was being pushed on a gurney through the hospital. I tried to
move, but my entire body felt paralyzed.

I opened my eyes momentarily before they rolled back into my head. My name was being
called from various places in the room, but I couldn’t answer. I was numb to absolutely
everything.

“Come on. Pull through. Don’t quit on us now! Get the crash cart!”

I screamed, my whole body fighting against the restraints that held me in place. I opened my
eyes to see Jake laying on a gurney across the room from me, his clothes cut open as they
placed the defibrillators on his chest to shock him. I heard the monitor make a single ‘blip’
and then flat line. They tried again, but nothing changed.

The wild sounds that ripped from my throat were nowhere near human.

My eyes focused on the body between us, as it lay there motionless. His face was covered in
blood and he had stitches holding together a six inch laceration in his neck. They had to
shave some of the blood encrusted hair from his head so they could stitch up a huge head
wound. I couldn’t see his face through the mass amounts of trauma, but I felt as though I had
to know who this person was that took absolutely everything from me.

I tried to get a closer look when his eyes opened.

And that’s when I woke up in a cold sweat, and screaming in real life as well as in my dream.
My clothes and sheets were soaked with sweat. Edward sat up, panic and confusion in his
eyes as he took in his surroundings and let things register.

He must have realized it was me screaming after a few seconds, even though those few
seconds felt like an eternity, because suddenly his arms were wrapped around me and he had

pulled me into his lap. He ran his fingers through my hair and rocked us back and forth on the
bed, trying to calm me down.

Tears were streaming from my eyes as I clenched my arms tightly around his neck and buried
my face into his chest. I sobbed uncontrollably against him as the memories of the dream and
that horrible night finally came flooding back. I thought I was over it all and that nothing
could ruin my happiness. I didn’t understand it. I needed someone to help me understand why
this kept happening.

Every time something finally started to go right in my life, something horrible had to seep its
way back in to darken everything good and pure.

There was only one thing left to do. I had to figure out what this dream meant. There was
obviously some kind of significance to this dream and why it happened now. I just didn’t
know what it was.

But I was going to find out.

CHAPTER TWELVE:

It had been a week since that awful dream, and I would love to say it was a onetime
occurrence, but sadly I had that dream almost every night since. I was terrified to go to sleep
every night for fear of seeing that scene replay again and again. I knew it was insane to think I
could stay awake indefinitely, but at this point I didn’t see much else as an option unless I
resorted to prescription sleeping pills. But that wasn’t a guarantee to get rid of the dreams.
Instead, it could just keep me from waking up.

I needed to see if I could find anything on dream interpretation. Knowing Edward had to go in
to work today, I told him I was going to go to the library for the day. I didn’t want to tell him
about the dream until I could hopefully figure out what it possibly meant. I wasn’t purposely
trying to keep it from him, I just knew he was going through something and I didn’t need to
burden him anymore than he already was.

It was a surprisingly beautiful day so I decided I was going to walk to the library. I didn’t feel
like being cooped up in my truck, even if it was only a ten minute drive. I grabbed my book
bag, just in case I might need it, and slung it over my shoulder as I headed out the door.

I arrived at the library after close to twenty minutes. I found an open computer so I sat at it
and began to type in my search information. I found a few results and was pleased to see that
they were not checked out. I immediately headed to the sections they would be found in and
grabbed them. I took them back to one of the long library tables and opened one up and began
leafing through it.

I was deep into my reading and I had completely lost track of the time. I was leaning on one
elbow while I flipped through the pages of this book. I was really hoping I could find
something that would explain the reappearance of this nightmare and at the same time, I
wished that the memories of that horrendous night would just leave me alone forever.

I was just slipping back into my memories, when I felt a warm hand, ever so lightly, graze my
cheek and a soft voice whisper, “Hey, snap out of it, would ya?”

I shook my head, coming out of my near comatose state, and when I looked up to see Edward
in front of me. I looked at my watch and realized it was seven o’clock already. I had been here
for nearly seven hours already. I couldn’t believe it.

“Oh! I didn’t realize what time it was,” I told him as I began to shut the books and stack them
so I could sign them out and take them home to read them, which was originally my plan, but
I was so impatient and felt the need to read them as soon as I could.

I looked up at him and smiled. He looked absolutely perfect, and I basked in the fact that he
was all mine. My eyes roamed over his gorgeous face. I looked at his mussed bronze hair as it
shone in the sunlight that was streaming in through the large windows of the building. My
eyes then traveled down his neck to his chest. The t-shirt that he wore showed off his amazing
physique. The man was a God among men.

After I was done gawking at his obvious perfection, I smiled and reached for the books, “I’m
so sorry. I must have been daydreaming again.”

He gave me a sympathetic smile, “I’ve been trying to get you to respond to me for what
seemed like forever,” he joked.

I melted a little bit when he flashed that crooked smile at me, and I felt a spark that I hadn’t
felt in a few days…well since the dreaming started again. I had been so preoccupied with
figuring out what it meant that I had been sort of neglecting his needs.

He was able to break through my thoughts again as he asked, “I hate to even ask. I hate to
pressure you, but I was wondering how much longer you think you’ll be?”

I looked at him and smiled, “I just want to sign these books out and then I’m definitely headed
home.”

He looked at the clock and then back at me, “I’m going to step out for a few minutes. I’ll wait
for you.” He laid his hand upon mine gently and I felt sparks as his thumb rubbed the back of
my hand.

I grabbed the stack of books and headed to the front desk to sign them out before putting them
in my bag. It didn’t take too long since today wasn’t a particularly busy day. I slung my bag
over my shoulder and headed outside to see if Edward was still here. Sure enough he was
right outside the door, leaning against the hood of his silver Volvo. And he looked absolutely
edible. I felt a deep feeling of desire creep into my belly just looking at him. By breathing
picked up as I continued to walk towards him and I knew what I was going to do to him when
we arrived at our final destination.

His eyes looked up at me as I approached and he smiled. I returned his smile, and for the first
time in the last few days it was a genuine smile and not one that was so forced it hurt my face
to do it.

Edward opened my door and I stepped in. I fastened my seatbelt and waited for him to run
around to his side and hop in. He started up the Volvo with one more look towards me and
threw the car into drive and sped off down the street.

I had no idea where we were headed. I didn’t recognize the roads once we left Forks. We
drove the winding roads of the country and my curiosity peaked higher and higher with each
mile we drove. Finally the car began to slow and he turned off onto an incredibly secluded
driveway. It was long and winding and just when I thought it wasn’t going to end a gorgeous
wooden house came into view.

It was absolutely breathtaking. It stood in the middle of the forest. It was green and lush here,
blocked off from the rest of humanity, and I could definitely see myself living here.
Whoa…slow down, Bella. You JUST started sleeping with the man. Don’t go crazy here.

Edward pulled the car to a stop as I stared up at this huge two storey home with huge picture
windows along every wall. I didn’t even realize that he had gotten out of the car and had
opened my door for me. He took me by the hand and helped me out of the car as I continued
to gawk at his house.

I don’t know why I was so shocked. He was a doctor after all, so he had to make decent
money. Plus coming from an incredibly wealthy family I am sure he had some sort of a trust

fund set up. It just seemed like such a big house for one person. I followed him up the steps
into the front door and the inside was even more breathtaking than the outside.

It was so light with the sunlight streaming in from the huge windows. His decorating skills
were impressive. Wait, remember his mother is an interior designer. I smiled as he pulled me
through the rest of the house.

On the main floor was the dining room which had a huge solid oak table that seated eight. I
wasn’t sure why he needed that many seats. Future planning, maybe?

Just off the dining room was the kitchen. It had all stainless steel appliances and a black
marble countertop. There was an island in the center of the kitchen and the steel pots and pans
hung above it.

His living room was not the typical ‘bachelor pad’ that you would assume an unattached guy
would have. He had a huge micro-fiber espresso colored sectional couch with a matching
ottoman. It looked so comfortable and I could just picture Edward and I curled up on it
watching old movies together on the wall mounted TV that hung above the fireplace.

There was a half bathroom with a huge antique mirror above the pedestal sink. And lastly,
there was a gigantic great room that housed a grand piano. Of course his house has a piano.
This wouldn’t be Edward’s house without a piano. The piano sat in the center of the room and
was bathed in the sunlight that streamed in from the windows.

He pulled me upstairs where he showed me all three spare bedrooms, which all had their own
ensuite bathrooms. There was a library that housed thousands of books. Classic and new.

Then lastly, Edward’s master suite. It was huge and absolutely stunning. There was a huge
king sized, four poster bed with sheer curtains pulled back against the four wooden posts.
Across the room from the bed was the balcony. It was huge and had two lounging chairs on it.
And the walk in closet was the size of one of the spare bedrooms. And practically empty since
he didn’t have enough clothes to fill it up. We moved onto the ensuite bathroom and he had a
huge jet tub in the corner that could easily fit four people and a glass encased shower in the
corner. The counter tops were made of a grey marble and there were two sinks in front of the
long mirror.

I turned to him and shook my head, “It’s absolutely breathtaking,” I told him. I opened my
mouth to say more, but his lips were soon on mine.

A week’s worth of pent up sexual frustration was evident in the way we kissed each other in
that moment. Our tongues crashed against each other and I pulled Edward’s face closer to
mine by his hair and I felt his hands travel down and grip my backside roughly. I moaned into
his mouth as he pulled my body towards his and I felt his very obvious arousal against my
stomach. I was instantly wet and I needed to get this man naked…NOW.

I moved my hands quickly to the hem of his shirt and began to tug it upwards as he tore my
blouse open, sending the buttons flying in every direction. Apparently he felt the same need
for me to be naked, and I really couldn’t find it in myself to care at that moment that I didn’t
have a second shirt here with me. He yanked it roughly down my arms until it hit the floor. He
lifted his arms for me as I pulled his shirt over his head and threw it across the room. His

hands then unfastened my bra and tossed it aside as well. I'm not even sure where our clothes
were landing amidst our passion, and I couldn’t seem really give a shit, either.

I trailed my hands down his chest until I found his jeans and I began to undo them. Once they
were undone I slid them down, along with his boxer briefs, and he furiously kicked them off
before he pushed me back towards the bed and lifted me onto it. He kissed me again as his
hands pulled open the button on my jeans. He removed his lips from my mouth and began to
trail kisses down my body as he slowly pulled my jeans and panties off and discarded them
onto the floor.

He stood before me, completely naked and it was the worst form of teasing in the world. I laid
on his bed, just waiting for his hands to be touching me again, but he just stood there. I rubbed
my legs together looking for any form of friction I could get, and when that didn’t work, I sat
up and grabbed his wrist and pulled him towards me.

He placed himself between my legs and began kissing me again. He kissed my lips and then
my jaw before he began to trail his lips down my neck, over my collar bone and then down
the center of my chest until he found my breasts. While one hand palmed my left breast, his
mouth ravished the other. I felt his tongue swirl around my hardened nipple before he gently
nipped at it. I arched my back into his touch, begging for more.

His hand left my breast and traced an uneven line down my body until he slipped it between
us and slid it through my wetness. My breath caught in my throat as he swirled his finger in
circular motions on my aching nub, while slipping two fingers into my waiting center. He slid
his fingers in and out of my body while keeping up his ministrations on my clit. I could
slowly feel my climax building within my body and it would only be a matter of time before I
felt it explode through my body.

Edward pushed his fingers deep within me and curled his fingers, hitting my g-spot and at the
same time he increased his pressure on my clit. And that was it. My body tensed and my
muscles tightened around his fingers as I felt myself come against his hand while he
continued to stroke me from deep within.

He removed his fingers and continued to slide them through my lower lips, my body shivered
as he did this because my clit was still hyper sensitive after my earth-shattering orgasm. I
moaned as he removed his hand from between us, and I lifted my head to look at him as I
whimpered a little at the loss of his touch. He didn’t leave my body for long though, soon his
hand was replaced by his cock as he slid it back and forth through my increasing wetness. On
each pass up through my folds, the tip of his erection would stroke my clit and I would moan
loudly with intense pleasure.

I hitched my legs up higher and wrapped my legs around his waist. I shifted my hips in time
to meet his movements and with every pass of my clit I felt myself grow closer and closer to
my second release. His lips found mine and we kissed passionately as he pushed through my
folds, bringing me just a little bit closer before he finally entered me. I moaned into his mouth
at the sensation of him filling my body completely. My legs tightened around him and I
pushed my heels into his backside a little harder to pull him deeper into me. My nails raked
down his back as he thrust into me repeatedly.

I opened my eyes and saw him staring at me with such intensity that I thought I would melt
right there beneath him. I watched his expressive eyes as he pushed into me over and over,
bringing us both closer and closer to our release. His eyes darkened as his climax neared.

Edward rolled us over until he was in a sitting position and I was straddling him. His legs
were hanging off of his bed and his hands gripped my ass firmly, helping to guide me up and
down his shaft. Our bodies were slick with sweat as we slid against one another. I threw my
head back as I moaned and I felt his hot breath on my neck as he kissed and licked my flesh. I
ran my fingers through his hair and pulled his face closer to me until I felt his teeth bite me,
hard. It didn’t hurt, but actually sent a wave of ecstasy rocking through my body.

He pulled his face from my neck and looked into my eyes, not once breaking eye contact with
me. We continued to move against each other slowly, not wanting this to end anytime soon,
but with each thrust deep within me I felt my muscles begin to tighten and I knew I couldn’t
hold off too much longer.

Edward helped move my body above him at a quicker pace and then it happened, my walls
tightened all around him and we came together. Edward pulled my face to his and kissed me
passionately as our climaxes exploded through our bodies. Our eyes remained open as I
wrapped my arms tightly around his neck and he pulled my body closer to his as I continued
to move above him a few more times as I cried out against his mouth. My body shivered
above him as my orgasm came to an end.

Our bodies stilled and Edward’s fingers tickled lightly up my spine as we sat there. Edward
dropped his head to my shoulder and I felt his increased breathing on my chest and my heart
felt as though it was going to pound its way out of my chest. He kissed my collarbone before
raising his eyes back to mine and smiling.

I sighed and rested my forehead against his. I smiled and kissed him lightly, “That was
amazing.”

He smiled at me before lying us back on the bed. We disjoined our bodies and he moved his
body up behind mine and pulled me up against him as we just laid there in complete silence.
There was nothing to be heard for miles. No cars. No people. Just the rustling of the wind
through the leaves and the birds singing in the distance.

I don’t know how long we had laid there, basking in the feeling of being with each other, but
finally my stomach rumbled and I realized I had to eat something. We sat up and Edward
went to the closet and returned wearing a pair of black flannel pants and no shirt and had a
white bathrobe in his hand. He handed the robe to me and pulled me back through his house
and down the stairs to the kitchen while he whipped us up some dinner.

It was then that I realized he had never cooked for me before, so I sat in one of the stools
surrounding the island and watched in silence as he sliced the chicken and cooked it in the
pan, adding various vegetables and spices. He cooked some noodles in a separate pot and
once they were cooked, he tossed them in with the vegetables and mixed it all together.

He plated two dishes for us and then set them on the island while he poured two glasses of red
wine. He handed me the wine and he carried the plates and left the kitchen. I followed him
through the house and into his living room where he sat on the couch. He placed the plates on

the ottoman and pulled it a little bit closer. In the center of the plush ottoman was a wooden
tray where our wine could sit without tipping over and staining the fabric. I placed the wine
on the tray and took a seat next to him.

He switched on the TV and found the classic movie channel. Gone with the Wind was on. It
was one of my favorites and had been since high school. I looked at him, wondering if he
knew that about me and he winked. Clearly he did know this little fact.

I sat back as he handed me my dinner and we ate in silence as we watched the movie.

I wasn’t sure why, but I finally felt like I was home.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN:

The last two weeks I had been spending the night here, at Edward’s house. I would go home
on the days that Charlie had off so we could spend some time together. And we would go to
the diner, just the two of us, every Thursday.

Today I had big plans for Edward and me. He had no idea, but I planned to take us into Port
Angeles tonight for dinner and a show and then I had reserved us a hotel room so we could be
alone. I mean, we could be alone at his place too, I just figured this would be more romantic,
plus we wouldn’t have to drive an hour and a half back into Forks in the middle of the night.

I had awakened this morning in his strong arms, just as I did every morning. I rolled over and
snuggled deeper into him and tried to hide my eyes from the light that was beginning to
stream through his window. He loosened his grip on me and got out of bed.

I flipped the blankets off of my head, surely causing every one of my hairs to stand on end,
and watched him walk out of the bedroom completely naked. I couldn’t be too mad. It was a
pretty sweet sight. I laid back onto the bed and heard the shower start, and then realized that
actually wouldn’t be such a bad idea. I stood up and quickly made the bed before darting from
the room to join him.

I opened the door as quietly as possible and proceeded to brush my teeth before hopping in
the shower with him. Morning breath was not one of my turn-ons. When I was done, I placed
my toothbrush back onto the counter and then opened the glass shower door a tiny crack. I
looked him up and down while his back was to me.

His back was muscular and glistening under the water that was falling over it. My eyes trailed
down to his ass…suddenly I could barely hold myself back. I was so turned on.

I cleared my throat, “Hey, you want any company?” I asked him seductively as I cocked an
eyebrow at him and bit my lip.

Startled, he turned around and smiled wickedly at me. He grabbed my wrist and pulled me in
with him. He pulled me to his body and kissed me, his hands traveling up and down my back.
I wrapped my arms around his neck and stood up on my tip toes as I deepened our kiss.

I felt his hands travel down my back and grip my ass firmly, as he roughly pulled my hips into
him and I could feel his erection between us. I moaned into his mouth and was suddenly
throbbing between my legs. Suddenly one of Edward’s hands was moving down my front and
found my aching center. He began to rub back and forth through my folds, as I instinctively
began to rock my hips in time with his ministrations.

I felt as he pushed one finger into my waiting opening and slid it in and out of me slowly a
few times before adding a second finger. I pulled his lower lip into my mouth and bit down
gently causing him to groan.

His strong hands pushed my hips away from his and he turned me around and pulled me up
against him again. I brought my right arm up and wrapped it around his neck and twisted my
fingers through his hair as he brought his mouth to my neck and began biting my neck lightly.

One of his hands traveled up my body and began fondling my breasts one at a time, while the
other one traveled back down to my soft mound and began fingering my clit once more.

I pushed my backside back into his hips and could feel his throbbing erection between us. I
reached my left hand down and behind me and began stroking him. I heard him inhale sharply
before he pushed me forward a little bit and slid into me. Both of his hands gripped my hips
as he thrust into me repeatedly. I moaned at the sensation of him being inside of me.

He pushed into me harder and harder and I could feel my release coming on strong. He
increased his speed and then I felt his arms wrap tightly around me as my walls tightened
around his length and he came deep within me, our cries of passion echoing off the bathroom
walls.

I felt his lips on the back of my neck as he pulled us both completely upright again and
withdrew from me. I turned to him smiling as he bent down to kiss me. He then pushed me
under the spray of water and got my hair wet. He then continued to wash and condition my
hair, giving me the world’s best scalp massage ever. Then he grabbed the body wash and
began to lather me up, paying extra close attention to every inch of my body.

When we were done cleaning up…after getting a little dirty…we climbed out of the shower
and wrapped our towels around our bodies before heading to the bedroom to get dressed.
Which, of course, just led to more groping once we both dropped our towels.

It was as though we wouldn’t get the chance to be together again.

***

The afternoon passed fairly quickly and by the time four o’clock rolled around it was time for
us to head out. I told Edward we would be taking my truck, and while he didn’t look overly
thrilled with this idea, I told him it had to be this way because he wasn’t to know what I had
planned for us.

We stepped out of the house and were met with miserable weather. Since it was Mid-October
the sky was darker earlier. But to be met with rain and cloud coverage over the little sun we
did have just made it that much darker.

The rain was coming down in sheets. It was going to make driving tough, but I was okay with
that, I would just take it slow and steady. Everything would be fine.

I climbed in behind the wheel and Edward jumped into the passenger seat. This felt weird,
actually. I almost offered to let him drive because of how off it felt.

I pulled us out of his driveway and we made our way through town until we hit the highway.
The rain was coming down even harder now and my poor wipers were struggling to keep up. I
was stupid not to ask if I could drive the Volvo.

As we drove I kept looking over at Edward, who was also stealing glances over at me
occasionally. He had grabbed my hand and intertwined our fingers as I drove. I could tell that
the suspense was killing him, but I refused to tell him where we were going, so we drove in
silence for a bit before he decided a little music was in order. He turned it to a classic rock

station and turned up the music. He was singing along with a few of the songs and I couldn’t
help but look over at him and laugh.

Then it happened. One of the street lights passed over us and caught on something on the left
side of his neck. A scar about six inches in length.

Then the flashes came on hard and fast. So fast I could hardly think straight.

The hospital.

The body between Jacob and myself.

A face unrecognizable due to the amount of blood.

Hair shaved from one part of his head for stitches.

And finally, a six inch laceration in his neck that had recently been stitched up.

My mouth fell open as I stared at him as he sat there, completely unaware of what he had
done. Or maybe he was aware and he just didn’t care. Or maybe he thought this was some sort
of game. Or maybe he was only with me out of guilt over what he had done.

My mind was whirling as I looked back out the windshield, trying to place my thoughts. I
couldn’t see the road in the blackness of the night. And the rain was still not helping, or
showing any signs of letting up. My hands tightened on the steering wheel and my knuckles
went white from the strength of my grip. My breathing picked up and all I saw was red.

He finally looked over at me, a look of sheer bewilderment on his face, “Bella?” he asked,
hoping for me to say something.

I didn’t know exactly what I felt in that moment, but I could guarantee you it was far from the
loving and carefree mood I left his house in a little over a half hour ago. My foot hit the
accelerator a little harder, not that I meant to, but all I felt was rage coursing through my body
as I spoke, “It was you.”

He looked at me, completely confused. I wanted to laugh at this. How could he possibly be
confused?

“You were the one that crashed into us. You were going too fast around that corner. You
killed Jake.” I managed to choke out, tears spilling out over my cheeks.

I turned to look at him again and saw that the look on his face was full of empathy, but he
didn’t look sorry. What the fuck was that about?

“Are you going to deny that you were involved in the accident that almost killed me?” I asked
as the rage increased, along with the speed my old truck was gaining.

He simply shook his head. He didn’t speak a word. Not one. This infuriated me even more.

“Don’t just sit there. Talk to me. NOW!” I demanded. I had never taken this tone with him
before. Of course I never thought he was capable of anything quite this horrible before either.
And it wasn’t just the act of the accident that was so horrible, but the fact that he had kept it
from me for five months. He knew what I was going through and yet, he said nothing.

He looked back out the windshield and his eyes opened wide in terror and he braced himself
against the dash as he yelled, “BELLAAAAAA!”

I looked out the windshield in time to see nothing but lights coming around the bend. And
then I heard the crunch of metal before the truck began to spin wildly out of control and
slammed into a tree on the opposite side of the road.

My head hit the side window. I groaned as I lifted my hand to the side of my head. When I
pulled my hand away I saw the blood. I suddenly felt incredibly dizzy. I weakly looked over
at Edward who was sitting up, but his head was slumped forward. Blood was oozing from his
neck and somewhere on his head, completely soaking his face.

The smell of the blood in the air was too much. I started to feel nauseous. And then
everything was black.

***

I couldn’t see anything. Nothing at all. Everything was enveloped in pure darkness. All I
could hear were machines beeping and the panicked voices around me and I had an
overwhelming feeling of déjà vu.

I felt as though I were floating through the air. I tried to move my head, but my entire body
felt weighed down and I couldn’t move a muscle. It was then that I realized it wasn’t that my
body was heavy, but rather strapped down.

I was able to open my eyes, only to be met with bright lights that caused my head to pound. I
closed my eyes, hoping to make that stop.

I heard my name being called out frantically from all directions, but couldn’t answer back.
My throat felt raw and I couldn’t move my mouth, even if I wanted to. I began to gag.

I opened my eyes and everything came into focus. We were in the hospital. I felt the
intubation tube being ripped from my throat as I turned my head to see another gurney a few
feet away from me and one further back. I couldn't see the face of the person closest to me
through all the blood.

I didn’t have to. I felt him. It was Edward.

Hot tears streamed from my eyes as I screamed, “EDWARD!” I kept pulling against my
restraints, trying to free myself, but it was no use. I felt the gurney almost tip over before
someone caught it. I looked up to see Carlisle.

He placed his hands on the side of my head, “Bella, sweetheart, you have to calm down,” he
told me in his soothing voice.

I looked around him, trying to see what was going on with Edward. I saw them stitching up
his neck. And then his eyes opened.

And just as he turned his face to me the darkness took me again. I felt my entire body tense as
the convulsions took over.

The last thing I remember hearing was the panicked voices of the doctors in the ER and
Edward’s feral scream.

“BELLAAAA!”

“Sedate him!” Carlisle cried out.

And then all I saw was a beautiful white light. I began to walk toward it, finally feeling at
peace.

***

I laid in the middle of an open meadow, the lush green grass all around me. Colorful wild
flowers surrounded me. There was a gentle spring breeze that swayed the leaves on the
branches, causing them to make a soft rustling sound. It was so peaceful here. So foreign to
me.

I stared up at the blue, cloud filled sky and smiled.

“What are you smiling at?” a voice called from my right. I turned to look towards the voice
and was met with irresistible green eyes. I turned onto my side and propped myself up onto
my elbow.

“I was just thinking about how perfect this spot is. It’s so calm and peaceful here. I don’t ever
want to leave.” He pulled me into his arms and I laid my head on his chest. “I just want to
stay here with you forever.”

He sighed, and it was not a happy sigh. He unwrapped me from his hold and stood up. He
began to walk away into the trees until I couldn’t see him anymore. Confused, I stood up and
started after him until I heard a deep voice come from behind me.

I turned around and was face to face with Jake.

“It’s no use,” he told me.

I should have been happy to see this man standing before me, but I felt so completely
unattached from him, almost as though I didn’t even recognize him.

Confusion washed over my face once more, “What do you mean?” I asked.

“He can’t stay here with you forever. Neither of you can stay here forever. It’s just not
possible,” he continued.

“Jake, I don’t understand.”

He huffed, “It’s a dream Bella. You can’t stay in a dream forever. You need to wake up. He
needs you now!”

I looked at him a little more closely, still confused. Jake approached me and grabbed me by
the arms and shook me gently, “Wake up.”

I pulled out of his grasp, “No. If I wake up then everything is wrong and nothing makes sense.
I can’t go back to that.”

Jake huffed and grabbed my arm roughly and pulled me with him, “Come with me,” he
grumbled as he pulled me through the trees that Edward had slipped through.

Suddenly we were in the hospital. I turned around, wanting my meadow back, but was only
met with the institutional white wall of one of the many hospital rooms.

As I looked around for an exit back to the meadow, I realized I recognized the room instantly.
It was the room I had passed many times in the past few months. I was now on the inside. I
couldn’t believe it. My heart began to race as I was one step closer to solving the mystery that
had plagued me for months. I took one apprehensive step forward and reached out to pull the
curtain back.

“Bella, don’t,” Jake warned. I looked back at him and furrowed my brow. I didn’t listen,
instead I gripped the curtain tightly and took a deep breath before pulling it back.

I gasped and took several steps back until I backed right into Jake’s solid form. His hands
gripped my arms gently, “I warned you.”

“How—why—how is this even possible?” I asked, not believing my eyes. I stared at the body
in front of me and I was completely stunned.

I was looking at myself, only a weaker version of myself. I was pale and immobile and I had
been intubated and…dear Lord…kept alive by a ventilator. I shook my head, not wanting to
believe what I was seeing, but instead, I wanted to do as Jake asked me to earlier and wake
up.

Then I remembered. Edward and I were on our way to Port Angeles and we had gotten into
an accident because I had found out he was the careless driver that took my life from me.

Wasn’t he? Suddenly, I wasn’t so sure. Something felt…off. And yet, so very familiar about
how it all went down.

I stood there, unmoving, barely breathing when all of a sudden monitors started blaring and I
watched as my body started convulsing. I stood by helpless as I watched this happen to my
own body. Suddenly a swarm of people flooded in, starting with Carlisle. He reclined the bed
and began chest compressions because my heart had stopped.

I looked towards the door and saw Alice, Jasper, Rosalie, Emmett, Esme and Charlie
standing there watching this scene unfold in front of them. None of them looked well. They all
had bags under their eyes and looked as though they had really been through the absolute
Hell. I wrapped my arms around myself as I watched the tears flow from their eyes.

And then they were being parted like the Red Sea and I couldn’t believe my eyes as a
completely unscathed Edward pushed through them. This isn’t how I remember seeing him
last. He wasn’t bleeding or cut up from the shattered glass or anything.

I was even more confused than before. If I was in this bad of shape, how was it that he was
walking around as if nothing had happened? Then I looked at myself a little closer. I looked
fine, other than how pale I was and all the machines I was hooked up to. How was this
possible?

“Bella?! Bella, sweetheart!” he cried out as he ran to my side. He looked over at Carlisle,
“Carlisle, what’s going on?”

Carlisle looked completely shocked, “I have no idea, son. She’s coding. I can’t understand it.
She was doing so well.”

I shook my head, not wanting to hear any of this. Edward had tears flowing from his eyes as
he gripped my hand. “Bella? Bella, please wake up. I can’t lose you. Not now. Not after
everything we’ve been through. I love you. Come back to me, my love.” He looked back at
Carlisle, “What about the baby?”

Wait…what? I looked back towards Jake, completely bewildered. He only nodded and smiled
at me.

“They need you,” was all Jake said before he disappeared, leaving me standing there alone,
watching as I died.

And then I heard it. The faint blip of my heart monitor. My head started feeling fuzzy and I felt
as though I was about to pass out, but when I looked at myself lying on that hospital bed I
noticed my eyes begin to flutter open.

Suddenly, everything seemed more clear and I was staring into the emerald green eyes of the
man I loved.

Edward Cullen.

My husband.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN:

EPOV

123 days.

2952 hours.

177,120 minutes.

10,627,200 seconds.

That’s how long it had been since my life was turned upside down.

It was our five year wedding anniversary. Bella had planned an evening out for the two of us
and insisted on driving her decrepit old truck. I couldn’t understand why she wouldn’t let me
buy her a new vehicle. She had some twisted attachment to this old thing. Granted she didn’t
drive it often, we usually took the Volvo places, but tonight, of all nights, she wanted to drive
her truck. I even offered to let her drive the Volvo…but she didn’t want to. So I let it go.

The day started out normal enough. The sun was shining…okay, so that was a tad unusual.
But we had woken up and taken a shower together. Of course, like any other time the two of
us were within a two foot radius of one another while naked, we couldn’t keep our hands off
of each other.

Just remembering the touch of her hands on my skin as she caressed me and kissed me sent
shivers up and down my spine. Had I known that was going to be our last time together, I
would have done so much more to please her.

We spent the day lounging around our house and just enjoying the day. We ate lunch out on
the patio and listened to the birds in the trees and spotted a couple of deer come out of the
woods and onto our property to graze.

By the time six o’ clock rolled around, Bella told me it was time for us to go. We opened the
door, only to be met with a torrential rain storm.

I was instantly nervous to drive the hour and a half it would take us to get to Port Angeles
when we couldn’t even see four feet in front of us. “Bella, maybe this isn’t such a good idea.
Let’s take the Volvo,” I remember suggesting.

She laughed at me, “Edward, we live in the Pacific Northwest. I’ve driven my truck in the
rain before. It’s going to be fine,” she told me confidently.

I had my doubts, but she assured me everything was going to be fine. I should have fought
with her more on the matter. But before I realized it, she was down the stairs and almost at
the truck. I raced after her and we climbed into her truck and she started it up. She drove us
down the winding driveway that led up to our secluded home and turned out onto the
highway. She headed in the direction of Port Angeles and didn’t say a word.

I couldn’t take the silence anymore. I turned my head to her, “Okay, can you please tell me
where we are going?”

“Sure. Port Angeles,” she said in her cocky tone.

I shook my head and smiled at her, “You are such a smart ass.”

She shrugged her shoulders, her eyes never leaving the road, “Better than being a dumbass.”

“Well, can I at least guess?” I asked her, hoping to have even an inkling of what our evening
entailed.

“Sure, why not.” There was something in her tone that left me quizzical.

“If I guess right, are you even going to tell me?” I asked her, raising one eyebrow at her.

She laughed, “I guess we’ll have to wait and see.”

“You don’t play fair, Isabella,” I told her, reaching for her hand and kissing the back of it.

She turned her head to me and smiled, “You knew that the day you married me, Edward
Cullen.”

I couldn’t argue with her there. I sat back in my seat and thought about what my first few
guesses would be.

“Movies?”

“Nope.”

“Live theater?”

“Negative.”

“Dinner?”

“Well, we do have to eat, maybe we can stop by a drive thru somewhere,” she joked.

I looked at her, “Really romantic.”

“Hey, not once did I say this was a ‘romantic’ outing,” she told me.

I looked at her expression a little more closely to see if I could pick up on anything. She was
such hard woman to read most days. While I was staring at her and looking for clues I
couldn’t help but notice how strikingly beautiful she was.

Her long, wavy, dark brown hair cascaded loosely down her back and over her shoulders.
Her smoldering brown eyes were trained on what little we could see of the road. The way she
pulled her bottom lip between her teeth in concentration. The slope of her long neck. She was
absolutely gorgeous.

There seemed to be something different about her the last couple days, though, and I couldn’t
figure it out. She was usually a pretty upbeat person, but the last few days she had been even
happier.

I had gotten home from work one day and she was practically floating through the house
while she tidied up for our family dinner with my parents. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but
something was different. And not in a bad way.

I looked back out the windshield and couldn’t see anything. The sky had darkened and the
rain was coming down so hard and fast it created a curtain of water in front of our eyes.
Bella’s wipers could barely keep up.

“Love, maybe we should go home and do this another day,” I told her, concerned about the
increasingly horrible road conditions.

She sighed, “Edward, it’s our anniversary TODAY. I’ve had this planned for weeks and I am
not about to go and lose our money by cancelling all the wonderful things I had planned.”

“Bella. This is ridiculous. We can’t even see the road two feet in front of us,” I pointed out.

“I’ve driven in worse, Edward. It’s fine. Just have a little faith,” she said, giving my hand a
reassuring squeeze.

I let it go and we sat in silence for a few more minutes before I decided I needed to listen to a
bit of music. I turned on the classic rock station.

Bella wasn’t going to tell me where we were going or what she had planned. She was
stubborn like that. It was one of the many things I loved about her.

We drove a little longer, just listening to the music. Bella had released my hand and had both
hands on the wheel as she stared intently out the window. This just meant she was struggling
to see the road.

And then it happened.

“BELLA! LOOK OUT!” I cried, even though I didn’t have to. She had seen it.

Out of nowhere there was a set of bright lights speeding around the bend. But it was too late.
The driver was going so fast that his vehicle started to hydroplane and headed straight for us.
Everything after that point happened in slow motion. I saw Bella’s body tense up, as did my
own. I braced myself for the impact against the dash and Bella sat as far back as she could so
she didn’t collide with the steering wheel and I stretched my arm out and placed it across her
chest, to her to help ensure that didn’t happen.

The sound of metal on metal as we crashed into this small, old car was horrifying. But
nothing could compare to Bella’s terrified screams as the truck fishtailed a few times before it
began to hydroplane on the layer of water that had accumulated on the blacktop as it started
to spin wildly out of control and off the road into one of the large trees.

The windshield shattered and I heard the sickening crack as Bella’s head smacked against
her side window. I felt a shard of the windshield slice into my neck and another felt as though
it had lodged itself in my head. Things were starting to get fuzzy as I noticed Bella lift her
head weakly, holding her head.

Through my hazy sight, I noticed the large amount of blood on her window and her hand was
gripping her head. She pulled it away and all I saw was her palm full of blood before I
slumped forward and passed out.

***

I don’t know what happened after that. I came to a few times in the ambulance to see the
paramedics. I was alone in the ambulance, on a gurney, and I could smell the blood in the air.
I could only assume it was my own.

I called out for Bella and tried to sit up, but they held me down. I wanted my wife and they
were keeping me from her. I became irate and hurled profanities at them, while struggling
against them.

They ended up sedating me. And I fell back into a drug-induced slumber.

***

I remembered bright lights and my father’s voice next, as well as other voices and the sounds
of machines beeping. We were in the hospital.

I couldn’t see anything, I couldn’t move. It was as though I were paralyzed and was only able
to hear what was going on around me.

Then I heard her, “EDWARD!” and I was relieved that she was okay.

“Bella, sweetheart, you have to calm down,” my father told her.

I could feel a slight pinch on my neck repeatedly and I could only assume they were stitching
me up. I opened my eyes after what seemed like an eternity and I turned my head and made
eye contact with Bella. And then her eyes rolled back into her head and she began seizing.

My entire body strained against the straps holding me on the gurney and it began to move. A
raging animal ripped its way from deep within my body and I definitely didn’t recognize the
voice that cried out.

“BELLAAAAAAA!”

I saw my father turn his head towards my screams as he continued to work on my wife,
“Sedate him!”

I saw the orderly come over with a syringe. He plunged it into my arm just as I heard more
voices.

“Come on. Pull through. Don’t quit on us now! Get the crash cart! We’re losing him.”

I looked to the other side of me and saw an incredibly large man on another gurney. They had
brought out the defibrillators and tried to revive him as his heart monitor flat-lined. They
tried a number of times only to be met with a faint blip and then nothing.

“Call it,” one of the doctors said, and then everything started to get fuzzy before I was
enveloped by the darkness once again.

***

I awakened in a dark room. I don’t know how long I was out for, but when my eyes finally
adjusted to the dim lighting of the room I was in. I saw that I was in one of the private
hospital rooms. I had an IV hooked up to my left arm. I tried to sit up and felt a shooting pain
up my right arm.

I immediately dropped my body back down and clutched my bandaged arm, sharply inhaling.
And that caused my neck to throb in pain as I strained the skin around my stitches.

“Take it easy, son.”

I looked around the room and saw my father sitting in one of the chairs to my right. He leaned
forward and dropped his head. He looked completely and utterly defeated. I have never seen
him look this way before.

My worst fears suddenly came to the forefront of my mind. Bella. Something happened. She
didn’t make it.

“Dad? Where’s Bella?” I asked, barely choking out the last question, completely terrified of
what his response might be.

“She’s in the ICU, Edward,” he told me quietly.

I sat up, this time remembering not to use my right arm, “I want to see her.”

Carlisle sighed and looked up at me, his golden eyes boring into mine as he spoke, “I would
love nothing more than to take you to her right now, son. But first we need to talk. You need
to hear a few things that went down while you were unconscious.”

From the way he was speaking, this wasn’t going to be good, and I knew it. I was in the
medical profession, he was in doctor mode right now. I slowly nodded my head in silent
encouragement for him to continue.

“She slipped into a coma after her seizure.” He dropped his head again and sighed, “She
stopped breathing, Edward. We had to put her on a ventilator. We can’t get her breathing on
her own right now.”

I felt tears spring to my eyes as he told me all this. My Bella was being kept alive by a
machine? I remembered back to a previous conversation we had had the last time she was
here for lunch with me.

She had seen a patient’s family completely torn up and they had chosen to put their daughter
on a ventilator. She told me she was vehemently against that and that if anything were to ever
happen to her that she wouldn’t want to be kept alive that way. She felt it was torture to the
rest of the family that was still alive to see their loved one struggle.

As her husband I felt I had to honor her wishes, even if that meant losing her forever. I looked
at Carlisle and cleared my throat, tears springing to my eyes. He looked up at me as I spoke,
“We need to turn it off. She wouldn’t want that.” I could barely hear myself my voice was so
quiet. I didn’t even want say those words. But I knew it’s not what she would want.

“Edward,” my father started.

I just shook my head, “No. Dad, she told me that that’s not what she would have wanted.”

“She’s pregnant, Edward,” he told me.

My eyes widened at this new piece of information. I couldn’t believe it. To say I was in shock,
well that would have been a huge understatement.

“How far along? Did she even know?”I asked. I don’t know how my father would possibly
know if she knew or not, but in my current state of shock, I wasn’t really thinking as I spoke.

Carlisle sighed again, “She’s about eight weeks along. And yes, she did know. She came to
me a few days ago to get some blood work done. She told me not to tell you, that she was
going to tell you on your anniversary,” he paused, “The baby is doing remarkably well. It’s
very strong.”

This changed everything. I couldn’t tell him to take her off the ventilator as long as the baby
was alive and thriving. I was so torn on what to do. So many different thoughts went racing
through my mind in that instant.

“Son, you don’t have to decide anything tonight. Take it easy, we’ll talk more tomorrow,” he
told me as he stood to leave.

“I want to see her.”

Carlisle looked back at me, “Tomorrow. You both have been through so much tonight. Rest.”

It took me one long, excruciating month before I could even muster up the courage to talk to
her in her current state. As a doctor we always told our patients’ families to talk to them, that
it helped them. But I found it hard to believe it now that it was us in this situation.

Charlie was here every day to see her, and he was completely distraught. I couldn’t apologize
enough for what had happened. He assured me that this was not my fault at all, that the
weather and the speed of the other car were what contributed to this horrendous outcome.

The other car. A red VW Rabbit. The driver, a man named Jacob Black, was alone in the car,
from what the police could tell. We couldn’t ask him, because sadly, he had passed away in
the ER the day of the accident. So not only was I responsible for Bella being in this situation,
but this poor man’s death as well.

However, I found it difficult to take into account anyone’s word when they told me that this
whole situation was beyond my control. I could have stopped her. We could have taken the
Volvo. There were so many things I could have done to prevent this, but I didn’t. Why?
Because I wanted to make Bella happy. And now, here she was. Pregnant and being kept alive
by a machine.

My mother and father both told me every day to talk to her so that she’d at least know I was
here. I just sat there and listened to them. I rarely left Bella’s side. Even though I never spoke
to her, I was always there, holding her hand and praying for a miracle.

I was sitting there one day when my parents stopped by. Bella was lying there, looking even
more pale than usual with each and every day that passed. My mother was talking to her as if
nothing was wrong. I didn’t get how they couldn’t see what I saw. Bella wasn’t here. It was
just her shell. And it was all my fault.

Then, my mother leaned in close and started saying how I was having a hard time dealing
with everything and that I see Bella every day, I just couldn’t talk to her yet. But that I was
here and that I cared for her. I couldn’t believe she would do that with me sitting right here.

She said her goodbyes and headed off to work and gave me that stern “mom” look. And then
to top it all off, Carlisle interferes and does pretty much the same thing. After they were both
gone, I sat there in silence with my comatose wife and tried to think of what I could say to her
to possibly make any of this better.

I felt like such a moron as the words fell from my mouth, but I spoke to her. I told her that I
missed her and was worried about her. I could feel my eyes burning with the tears so I
decided to end my attempt at a one-sided conversation for now and try again later.

Over time, though, talking to her got easier and easier. There were still times I felt it was
hopeless, but seeing everyone try and get through to her made me feel a little less ridiculous.

As the months passed I watched her belly swell with the life that grew inside of her. And it
broke my heart that she couldn’t experience it the way any mother should be able to.

I told her stories from our past. I reminded her of the summer before I left for college. And I
swear I saw a tear fall from her eye. As a Doctor, I was certain it meant nothing and was
probably just an overabundance of fluid dispelling itself from her tear duct.

But there was a small part of me that finally had a spark of hope that maybe, just maybe, she
was going to come back to me.

I brought up some other happy memories of our past. The first time we attempted to make
love. I chuckled at the memory.

She was eighteen, I was twenty-one. I had come home for Christmas and we had been
hanging out every day. She was in her senior year at Forks High. Our relationship began
when she had called me in her sophomore year and apologized for any ill will I may harbor
for her after the way she treated Alice and the rest of my family.

Of course, I harbored no ill will towards her. I could never. She was going through a very
difficult time, I could understand that. We talked almost every day on the phone or through
email and we had grown closer than ever before. It was the summer before her senior year
that we decided to be together, that fighting the inevitable was completely asinine. She and
Alice reconnected shortly after that summer, much to Bella’s relief. Rosalie and Jasper were
not too far behind.

That Christmas I had snuck into her room by scaling that tree outside her window, just as I
did most nights. Usually we just made out or talked all night and I would slip out before
dawn, when her father woke up. One night we were kissing and things got even more heated
than usual. Our clothes wound up scattered all over the floor and we took that final step.

We were making love. But sadly, it didn’t last as long as either of us would have liked because
her father came barreling into the room when he heard her lamp fall to the floor and shatter.
I rolled off of her, and I am not sure if he really knew what we were doing, but I can tell you
he looked less than pleased to see me in his daughter’s bedroom at two o’ clock in the
morning.

Yes, it was an awkward moment.

Of course, there was the time I truly consider our ‘first time’.

I had taken her to our meadow one spring afternoon for a picnic, and she had begun to kiss
me and before I knew it, she was on top of me, removing her clothes. It was a beautiful
moment between the two of us and I could have stayed there all day. Feeling her hands on me.
Feeling her warm flesh under my hands, the way it felt being inside of her as we climaxed
together. The way the sunlight bounced off of her chocolate colored hair as she moved above
me. It was probably one of the happiest memories I had of us.

So many other happy memories over the years. I tried to think of a new one each day to share
with her.

Alice and Jasper moved back to town from Seattle. They had moved there because Alice got a
great job offer. But after the accident and what happened to, Bella she couldn’t bear to stay
away from her for any length of time. I spoke to them on the phone nightly, and Alice was
really upset by the idea of having to stay away and only come home on weekends to visit.

When I called Rose and Em in Italy, they tried to get home sooner. But Rose was under
contract in Volterra and couldn’t get out without losing everything they had. They flew home
as soon as they could though, but they still felt awful for not coming back when everything
had happened.

Things were still looking pretty bleak, but I was trying not to let anyone see how hard a time I
was still having, even three months later. I was really trying to keep hope alive, but I couldn’t
help but feel more and more responsible for the way things were happening.

It hit me hardest the day of her birthday though. She was turning twenty-six. Alice insisted on
throwing a party. I was having a particularly shitty day that day, and I told her repeatedly it
wasn’t appropriate or even necessary. I didn’t feel like getting into it with her, so I tried to just
let it go. But when everyone was together and I saw Rose, Alice and my mom all sitting

around Bella and smiling and laughing as they talked to her as if nothing was wrong, well I
just lost it.

Then of course, I got into a disagreement with my father over it and ended up raising my
voice and drawing attention to myself. I felt like an asshole for ruining what was supposed to
be a celebration of sorts…even though the only thing that we should be celebrating was Bella
waking up. But that likely wasn’t going to happen.

And then, one month later, it happened. Of course it wasn’t the beautiful moment I had
envisioned all these months.

I had left the room for five minutes to go and do my rounds and when I came back, she was
coding. I pushed through my family who was blocking the doorway and I ran to her side.

I watched as her eyes slowly fluttered open, and then she began to gag on the intubation tube
that was in her throat for the ventilator. I took it out as gently as possible when working on
someone who was awake, and she coughed harshly before looking back at me.

She lifted her left hand and placed it on my cheek. I could see the tears welling up in her eyes,
threatening to spill over.

Her hand moved around my face and then down my neck and arms until she found my hand.
She lifted my hand and placed it on her cheek and closed her eyes and leaned into my palm.
Her tears finally betrayed her and they spilled over onto her cheeks.

“It’s real. This is real,” she said before her sobbing became uncontrollable.

I enveloped her in my arms and refused to ever let her go again.

CHAPTER FIFTEEN:

BPOV

Edward pulled me into his arms as I wrapped my arms around his neck and squeezed my eyes
shut as tightly as I possibly could, trying to stop the tears from flowing. But it didn’t help. I
greedily breathed in his familiar scent as I moved my hands up and twisted my fingers
through his hair. I realized that nothing had changed in however long I was out of it.

He finally loosened his hold on me and when I looked into his eyes, they were a light shade of
green as the tears slid down his cheeks freely. He leaned down, tentatively, and laid his soft
lips against mine. That same electric energy that pulsed through us every time we touched
was there and every inch of my body was on fire. This wasn’t even a kiss filled with any form
of passion we had ever known. It was just a simple, loving kiss.

Our lips parted as he laid his forehead against mine and smiled, “God, how I missed you.”

I laid my hand on his jaw and stroked my thumb over his cheek slowly, still trying to tell
myself that this was real. That everything I had lived up until this moment was nothing but a
lie my subconscious mind had created for some reason. Though, no matter how many times I
repeated that to myself, I found it hard to believe.

I was about to say something to him when I heard another soft male voice, “Bells?” I looked
past Edward and more tears sprung to my eyes. Charlie took a few steps forward. I removed
my hand from Edward’s face as he stood up straight and made room for Charlie to stand next
to me.

I felt more hot tears spill over onto my cheeks and as soon as Charlie was next to me, he
wrapped me up in one of his famous dad hugs that I had, apparently, gone so long without. I
had never felt safer in my life than when I was in his arms. I squeezed him as hard as I could,
but you know that feeling when you first wake up and your strength just isn’t what you
remember it to be? Yeah, magnify that by about a thousand.

“Oh, God. Daddy. I’m so sorry,” I sobbed into his shoulder as I clutched onto the back of his
shirt to pull him closer to me, not ever wanting to let him go.

I felt tears fall onto my back, soaking through the thin hospital gown that I was wearing, and
heard him sob and sniffle as he ran his hands through my hair and squeezed me just a little bit
tighter. This just made me cry even harder and pull him closer as some of my strength started
to return.

He began to speak, but it sounded like he was stuttering due to his sobbing, “No…No. You
have nothing to apologize for. I can’t even tell you how lost I was without you, Bells.” He
sniffled a few more times before he pulled away and looked at me, a small smile was starting
to spread across his face.

I looked into his dark brown eyes and really took a good look at his face. His cheeks were
sunken in, he was pale and unshaven. He looked as though he hadn’t been taking care of
himself to the best of his ability, and this broke my heart.

I caused this. Me. All my fault.

He must have seen the conflict in my eyes because he took my face in his hands and looked
me dead in the eyes, “Bella. This was not your fault. None of what happened then even
matters now. What matters is that you are back.”

I didn’t know what to say. How could I not feel responsible? I didn’t want to upset him
further, so I simply nodded my head in agreement and sniffled. He wrapped me back up in his
arms and held me tight.

I’m not sure how much time had passed, but at this point, was time really relevant? I suddenly
felt exhausted. Which seemed absurd considering I had just awakened from months of sleep.
My eyes felt heavy as I looked back towards Edward, who was still by my bedside, and for
some reason it felt as though he rarely ever left. My heavy-lidded eyes then looked and took
notice that all of my loved ones had stepped further into the room, smiles were on their worn
faces and tears stained their cheeks.

Edward cleared his throat and brought my attention back to him. Charlie loosened his hold on
me and kissed the top of my head before standing back up and wiping his eyes. I laid back
down on my pillow and couldn’t help but feel completely wiped out as my eyes began to
flutter closed.

“We need to let Bella rest for a bit. I will let you all know when she wakes up again and is
ready for visitors,” Edward told them.

One at a time they all took a step forward and hugged me before leaving the room with
promises to be back as soon as they could. I smiled and nodded weakly, not really wanting
any of them to leave and feeling absolutely silly for being tired after sleeping for so long and
missing so much.

Once the room was cleared, except for Edward and Carlisle I felt my eyelids flutter a little
more. I tried to fight it, but it was hard.

Edward’s hand caressed my head and cupped my cheek, “Love, sleep.”

I placed my hand over his and shook my head, “No. I just slept for…well, I don’t even know
how long. I just--I don’t want to risk…”

“Nothing is going to happen. Sleep,” he told me, as he kissed me lightly on the lips again.

An overwhelming sense of fear tightened like a vise around my heart and tears fell from my
eyes as I bit my lower lip, “You don’t know that,” I told him, my voice barely above a
whisper.

Carlisle looked at me, “Bella, Edward is right, you need to rest.” He laid a hand on my
shoulder before giving Edward one more look and leaving the room.

Edward and I were alone. The room was filled with an awkward silence, and suddenly I
wasn’t as tired as I thought I was, and I was beyond thankful for that. I wasn’t ready to rest

before I got a few answers. I couldn’t take the silence any longer, “What happened?” I asked,
looking down at my hands as I fidgeted.

Edward sat on my bed next to me and took my hands in his. He gently kissed them one at a
time and sighed, “You don’t remember?” he seemed concerned and I could only assume he
thought I had some form of memory loss due to the accident.

“Well, it’s not that, exactly. But everything seems a little blurred between what was real and
what was in my head.” I told him as we twined our fingers together. I continued to stare at our
hands as my brow furrowed at my own confusion.

Edward looked at me, clearly confused by my statement, “What do you mean?” he paused a
moment and then it was as though he remembered something, “What did you mean earlier,
when you said ‘this is real’?”

I flashed back a few moments to when my eyes had first opened and remembered the
overwhelming emotions upon seeing him standing beside me as my hand traveled over his
face and down his neck until I found his hand and placed it against my cheek.

Tears threatened to spill over onto my cheeks as I tried to find the words to tell him what I
had experienced. I was silent a few moments longer, “It was as if I was living an entirely
different life. I remembered everything from the past, but for some reason I thought I was
married to Jake Black,” I tried to laugh it off, “Which is just insane since I haven’t seen or
heard from him since we were sixteen years old.”

I continued to tell Edward about my ‘life’ and he listened in silence. Every time I brought up
Jake he got this look on his face that I didn’t quite understand. I told him everything, how I
thought that we were still estranged, and how we reconnected. I was telling him everything,
trying to make sense of it all when suddenly I felt a ‘thump’ from inside my stomach and it
made me jump in shock.

“Whoa!” I cried out as I bolted upright. My hands instinctively went to my stomach. I looked
at Edward and then back at my swollen abdomen. I had completely forgotten. I was still
pregnant. I didn’t lose the baby.

Tears flowed from my eyes, again. I didn’t know how much more I could cry, but it couldn’t
be a lot, could it? I ran my hands across my stomach and felt a kick. I couldn’t help but smile
and laugh while the tears fell from my eyes.

Edward smiled and wiped my tears from my cheeks, “He’s strong.”

I looked at him and raised an eyebrow, “He?” I inquired.

Edward shrugged, “Well I don’t actually know. It’s just my guess.”

I looked back up at Edward as the baby settled, “I thought I lost him.”

“And I thought I had lost you. I didn’t even know you were pregnant,” he told me as he pulled
me back into his arms.

I smiled weakly, “Well, it was supposed to be a surprise.”

“And it definitely was. I can’t even tell you how shocked I was. Not to mention the guilt I
felt,” he told me as I heard him inhale deeply.

I pulled my head away from his chest and looked up into his green eyes, “Why would you feel
guilty?”

“Bella, I shouldn’t have let us leave with the weather the way it was. I should have fought you
on it,” he told me with a heavy sigh.

“Would that really have done any good?” I asked him. He didn’t answer. He just sat there in
silent contemplation. I smiled, “Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

I was staring at him pretty intently when I noticed the scar on his neck. So that part was real.
It got me thinking of what else was fact and what else was fiction. I ran my fingers lightly
across the scar and his hand trailed up my arm and found my hand. He didn’t remove it from
his neck; instead he gently caressed the back of my hand with his fingertips. After a few more
moments of silence, I finally got the courage to ask him again about that night.

“We were driving into Port Angeles in the storm and a car came around the bend and started
to hydroplane. It hit us and we started to spin and then crashed into a tree. You took a nasty
blow to the head and I was struck by a few fragments of the windshield. One through my neck
and one in my head,” he paused. “I don’t know who called 911 or whatever, but when I woke
up in the ER my worst fear came to life. You were seizing and then…you just didn’t wake up.
Dad said he had to put you on a ventilator and I almost had you brought off of it because I
knew you’d be against it,” another pause as he laid his hand across my stomach, “until he told
me that you were pregnant. Bella, I’m sorry, but I was so conflicted. I didn’t know what to
do.”

I couldn’t think of anything to say. Did he think I was mad about being on the ventilator? Of
course that was ridiculous. He had good reason to keep me on it.

He spoke again, refocusing my attention back on him, “I sat by your side every damn day,
praying you would wake up, but a part of me felt like it was never going to happen. I couldn’t
bring myself to talk to you for a month. I felt as though it was a lost cause. That you were
already gone,” tears flowed from his eyes as he told me all this.

“Edward, it’s okay. It’s completely understandable. I get why you chose to do what you did,”
I told him as I lifted his head so his eyes could meet mine. It pained me to see this much guilt
in his eyes.

My thoughts went back to that horrific night and I suddenly thought about the other car, and I
couldn’t help but be afraid for his answer to my next question.

“The driver of the other car? Are they okay?” Edward looked at me with more sadness in his
eyes, and I knew the answer wasn’t what I wanted to hear, but rather what I expected to hear.

He dropped his eyes from my stare and I barely heard the next words that fell from his lips,
“It was Jake,” he told me and once again, tears fell from my eyes.

I shook my head, not wanting to believe what he had just told me, “No. No, you’re wrong.
Jake’s fine. That part was in my head. Tell me that part wasn’t real!” I sobbed, “Please!”

“Love, I’m sorry. I wish I could tell you that it was all part of a bad dream. I’m so sorry,” he
told me as he took my hands in his once more, but my thoughts were no longer on him. They
went back to that night…

It was May first, our five year wedding anniversary. I had planned an evening out for the two
of us and I remember insisting on driving my truck. For some reason, Edward seemed
perplexed as to why I would want to drive that old thing; he just didn’t understand how much
I loved that truck. He was always offering to buy me something newer, but I had issues letting
go. I didn’t see what the big deal was; we took the Volvo everywhere anyways and rarely
drove my truck.

The day started out normal enough. The weather was unusually gorgeous for a spring day.
We had woken up and taken a morning shower together. That ended with us groping each
other and having passionate sex in the shower, of course, because like any other time the two
of us were naked and in the same room with one another, we couldn’t keep our hands off of
one another.

We lounged around the house the rest of the day and just enjoyed it. We ate lunch out on the
patio and listened to the birds in the trees and spotted a couple of deer come out of the woods
and onto our property to graze. I loved this house and when Edward brought me here for the
first time to show it to me I fell instantly in love. It was so secluded and peaceful. We had put
an offer on it right away and soon, we were moving in to our very first house.

Six o’ clock rolled around and I instructed my husband of five years that it was time to go. We
opened the door, only to be met with a torrential rain storm. It didn’t really shock me. The
weather was always so unpredictable.

“Bella, maybe this isn’t such a good idea. Let’s take the Volvo,” Edward suggested.

I could only laugh at him, “Edward, we live in the Pacific Northwest. I’ve driven my truck in
the rain before. It’s going to be fine.”

And in true form, Edward was worried. He wouldn’t be the man I married if he wasn’t
constantly worried about my well being. Before Edward could continue to argue with me on
the matter at hand, I raced down the stairs and to the truck, he quickly followed. I drove us
down the winding driveway that led up to our secluded home and turned out onto the
highway. I turned in the direction of Port Angeles and didn’t say a word. I had so much on my
mind. Tonight I was going to tell Edward I was pregnant.

I had seen Carlisle last week and gotten blood work done earlier in the week. Of course, with
him as my Doctor, and also being Edward’s father and boss I had to swear him to secrecy
when he told me the results were positive. He was beyond elated for us. He had kept his word
so far, and I was grateful.

Edward spoke, bringing me out of my thoughts, “Okay, can you please tell me where we are
going?”

“Sure. Port Angeles,” I told him, smirking.

He shook his head at me, “You are such a smart ass.”

I laughed and shrugged, my eyes never leaving the road, “Better than being a dumbass.”

“Well, can I at least guess?” he asked. It just killed him that I was doing something for HIM
and he wasn’t in the know.

I decided to humor him, “Sure, why not.”

“If I guess right, are you even going to tell me?” he cocked an eyebrow at me.

I laughed again. I couldn’t tell him what we had planned so there was a good chance I wasn’t
about to tell him if he did in fact guess correctly, “I guess we’ll have to wait and see.”

“You don’t play fair, Isabella,” he told me as he kissed the back of my hand.

“You knew that the day you married me, Edward Cullen.”

He began his guessing, “Movies?”

“Nope.”

“Live theater?”

“Negative.”

“Dinner?”

“Well, we do have to eat, maybe we can stop by a drive thru somewhere,” I joked.

“Really romantic.”

“Hey, not once did I say this was a ‘romantic’ outing,” I informed him.

The weather had taken a turn for the worse and I had to return most of my focus to the road
ahead of me to avoid any potential accidents. Edward was silent while I drove in the thick
sheets of rain that were coming down in front of us.

“Love, maybe we should go home and do this another day,” he told me. He seemed really
concerned about the increasingly horrible road conditions.

Deep down I knew he was just looking out for our well being, and any other day I would have
been open to his suggestions, but TODAY. No, we were doing this. I sighed, “Edward, it’s our
anniversary TODAY. I’ve had this planned for weeks and I am not about to go and lose our
money by cancelling all the wonderful things I had planned.”

“Bella. This is ridiculous. We can’t even see the road two feet in front of us,”

“I’ve driven in worse, Edward. It’s fine. Just have a little faith,” I told him as I squeezed his
hand.

He was silent as I regained my focus on the road again. Through my periphery, I saw him
turn on the radio. He tuned it to a classic rock station.

We drove a little longer, just listening to the music. I had to release my hold on his hand and
place them both on the wheel as I stared out the window. I was really having a hard time
seeing the road, and was just about to admit defeat when it happened.

“BELLA! LOOK OUT!” he cried, even though he didn’t have to. I had seen it.

Out of nowhere there was a set of bright lights speeding around the bend. But it was too late.
The driver was going so fast that his vehicle started to hydroplane and headed straight for us.
Everything after that point happened in slow motion. My body tensed up. I sat as far back as I
could so I didn’t collide with the steering wheel and break my ribs. I felt Edward’s arm across
my chest in an attempt to aid in my efforts.

The sound of metal on metal as we crashed into this small, old car was horrifying. I screamed
a bone-chilling scream as the truck fishtailed a few times before it began to hydroplane on the
layer of water that had accumulated on the blacktop as it started to spin wildly out of control
and off the road into one of the large trees.

The windshield shattered and I heard the sickening crack. I couldn’t figure out what it was.
My head hurt though. I lifted my head from my side window and pressed my hand to the
throbbing area on my head. I looked through hazy eyes towards Edward who seemed groggy
but awake. I saw blood coming from somewhere on his head, the wound was concealed by his
mussed hair. My eyes traveled down and I noticed a shard of glass in his neck.

I turned my gaze from Edward and looked across the highway at the other car. I recognized it
instantly.

It was a red VW Rabbit.

My vision blurred and I pulled my own hand away from my head and looked at it. It was
covered in blood. The smell began to permeate my nostrils and I grew queasy before I passed
out.

***

The next thing I remember is being in the ER and seeing Jake lying on a gurney and the
Doctor’s trying to resuscitate him. It didn’t work though, and he was gone in a matter of
minutes.

***

It was just like how it happened in my ‘life’. For some reason it had all played over into my
subconscious somehow. More tears fell from my eyes as I remembered all of it.

Jake was gone. And it was all my fault.

Suddenly I felt nauseous. I threw the blankets back from my body and went to stand up, but
was met with an even more confusing new development.

I looked up at Edward, panic stretched across my face, “Edward, my legs don’t work.”

CHAPTER SIXTEEN:

EPOV

I can’t say I was too surprised when Bella said her legs didn’t work. I had prepared myself for
this, in the event that she ever did awaken.

It wasn’t entirely uncommon for comatose patients to have to relearn basic motor skills upon
awakening. Bella had been out for just over five months, after all. She hadn’t been using her
legs at all in that time. Her muscles would need to be rehabilitated before she could walk
again.

I looked down at her panic-stricken face as her eyes glistened with fresh tears. I offered her a
reassuring smile and laid my hand upon her cheek, “Love, it’s alright. Keep in mind you have
been asleep for five months. This was to be expected. We can start your rehabilitation as soon
as Carlisle gives the okay, alright? You have a good chance of regaining the use of your legs.”
She leaned towards me and wrapped her arms around me.

I heard her sniffling as she cried into my shoulder. I ran my fingers through her hair in a
soothing manner and listened as her breathing deepened and I heard her familiar gentle snore.
I smiled softly before laying her gently back onto her bed. I pushed her hair out of her face
and watched her face scrunch as she sighed and her head lulled to one side.

I pulled myself up next to her and wrapped her up in my arms as she slept. I rested my chin on
the top of her head. I felt her curl her upper body towards me and snuggle in deeper. She
placed her tiny hand against my chest and sighed in her sleep.

I swear my heart skipped a beat in that instant. It had been five and a half long months since I
felt her touch me in any way. I felt a slight pulse of electricity flowing from her fingertips and
into my chest. Just the slightest touch sent my mind whirling and made me the happiest I had
been since our wedding day.

She was going to be okay. She was almost taken from me, but now…she was back and going
to be okay.

I smiled and let my eyes close, “I love you, Bella,” I whispered to her, placing my lips against
the top of her head. She hummed into my chest as I drifted off into a deep sleep next to her.

***

“Move, damnit. Move.”

I awakened to angry whispers coming from beside me. When I opened my eyes it was dark in
the room, save for the light coming from the hall of the hospital. I rubbed my eyes and looked
to my side to see Bella propped up against her pillows, tears streaming down her cheeks,
brows furrowed and her legs uncovered.

I sat up and looked at her, “Bella, what are you doing?” I asked her, running my hand through
my messy hair.

She jumped when she heard my voice. “Oh. Sorry. I didn’t realize I had woken you.” Her
gaze shifted back t her feet and she sighed in defeat as she fell back onto her pillows, “I was
trying to wiggle my toes.”

I forced a smile and nodded my head in understanding. I took her hand in mine and kissed it,
“Love, don’t strain yourself. We will talk to Carlisle in the morning about when to start
working on it. You just came out of a coma. Let yourself adjust to that. You don’t want to
push yourself too far, too fast.”

Tension instantly clouded the room. It was so thick you could cut it with a knife. Frustration
had taken its hold over her and her head snapped to face me. Anger was evident in her eyes,
“What the fuck would you know about it?” she snapped at me.

I was taken aback by her words and, most certainly, by the tone in which she had chosen to
deliver them. I sat up even further and looked her dead in the eyes, “Excuse me?”

She turned her head away from me and rolled her upper body to join it, “You fucking heard
me.”

I bolted out of the bed and raced to the other side to make her face me. This was not my Bella.
I knew this Bella. This was what I referred to as “dark Bella”, and she only came out to play
when Bella was stressed or upset. And while she had every reason to be upset, she had about a
million other reasons to be overjoyed.

I looked down at her as the tears flooded from her eyes. I knelt at her side, and I wanted to be
gentle and understanding, but I’d be damned if she was going to pull this shit again after ten
years together. We had been down this path before, and she was not going to go down it
again.

My tone was less than compassionate as I spoke my next words to her, “You’re right. I did
hear you. But I can tell you that you are not going to pull away from me again,” I paused,
“Damnit Bella.” I pinched the bridge of my nose and clenched my eyes shut in frustration.

When I opened my eyes again, I saw Bella roll her eyes and use the back of her hand to clear
her tears from her cheeks. She sat up and glared at me, “Just leave me the fuck alone. I need
time to think.”

“Fuck. That.” I pushed myself up and stood in front of her with my arms folded across my
chest as I stared down into her intense, yet sad, brown eyes. “I’ll be damned if I let you push
me and the rest of your loved ones away again. I get that this must be hard for you. I do. But
can you even imagine what we all went through the last five months without you? Not
knowing if you were going to come out of this or if we had truly lost you. It was Hell, Bella.
And now, you want to just push away everyone that stood by your bedside this whole time.
Fuck. That.”

She wiped her eyes again, “Please. Just leave me alone. I can’t deal with this shit too.”

“And what ‘shit’ would that be? Talking to your husband about what’s bothering you? Well, I
will tell you that I refuse to walk out of this room and leave you this way. So deal with it.”

Her eyes narrowed at me and she huffed in exasperation as more tears fell from her eyes, “I
don’t know what you want me to say, Edward,” she shouted, “I can’t walk. I’m completely
useless to you and our child this way.”

My face softened at her confession and I dropped to my knees and grasped her hands tightly
in mine, “Bella, this isn’t permanent. I guarantee you we are going to do everything in our
ability to get through this. You will walk again, I know it.”

She looked at me and furrowed her brows, “You can’t possibly know that. Feeding me false
hope right now is just cruel,” she paused and looked away from me, “You know what? I really
don’t want to talk about this right now. With anyone.” And with that, she turned her body
away from me again, as best she could, and sobbed into her pillow.

My head fell to the bed at her side. I was at a loss. I really didn’t know what else to say or
what to even do. I had gone the last five months without her, and then she awakened and it
was as if the clouds opened up and my one ray of sunshine was back. But now she wanted to
just give up and admit defeat.

I lifted my head and looked at her. My gaze wandered from her head, which was still turned
away from me, down to the long, delicate curve of her neck. I traced the lines of her arms as
they disappeared in front of her and fell across her swollen abdomen. My eyes fell upon her
hips and then trailed to her bare legs.

And I don’t know why I did it, especially without warning her or, at the very least, asking
permission. But my hand reached out and caressed her calf and her body jerked in response to
my touch. She snapped her head around and glared at me. My eyes were open wide in shock
as I met her gaze.

“What the Hell? Your hands are freezing,” she pointed out. It was then that the realization
must have dawned on her as the words escaped her lips. She sat up and smiled slightly, “What
do you suppose that means?” she asked.

I will admit, that a very large part of me knew that her paralysis was only temporary, but there
was a small part of me that was afraid it could be permanent. I couldn’t help that part of me. I
was a Doctor and had to prepare myself for the worst. But when she flinched at the touch and
cool temperature of my hand, I knew that she still had sensory feeling, and that in itself was
huge. It meant that her chances for a full recovery were astronomical.

I smiled back at her, “I think this means that everything is going to be fine and we should rest
and talk to Carlisle in the morning. Deal?”

Bella drew her pouty bottom lip between her teeth and dropped her gaze from mine in shame.
I could only assume she felt ashamed for how we had spoken to one another just moments
before. I can tell you that it definitely wasn’t my shining moment and I wasn’t proud of it one
bit. We had never spoken to one another that way. Ever. And now was really not the time to
start.

She nodded in agreement and shifted her body over a little, making room for me on the bed
next to her. I accepted her silent invitation and once I was situated next to her I wrapped my

arms around her and pulled her body close to mine. I laid my hand on her stomach and gently
rubbed it as I felt the baby moving within her.

Bella placed her hand on top of mine before she lifted her head to look at me, “I’m sorry I was
such a bitch. I guess I was just scared of the possibility,” she admitted.

I smiled, “Don’t worry about it. You weren’t the only one who snapped. I just can’t stand to
see you like that. It reminds me of…”

“What I did to you all after mom died. I know. And I hate that that is the first place I go to
when something doesn’t go the way I want or even expect it to. I promise to work on that,”
she said, dropping her eyes from mine once more.

I placed my fingers under her chin and lifted her gaze to mine. I placed a kiss upon the tip if
her nose and smiled, “Well, let’s just take this one step at a time. Let’s work on getting you
better physically first, alright?”

Bella smiled and leaned her head up and pressed her lips to mine. We held our lips together
for a few moments before I felt her lips part. I opened my lips slightly in response and felt her
hands reach behind my head and pull on my neck to bring me closer to her.

As much as I wanted to deepen this kiss and completely take her right then and there, I knew
we weren’t ready for this, not to mention we were still in the hospital. I pulled my face from
hers and rested my forehead against hers. Her cheeks were flushed and her lips swollen from
our kiss.

“I’m sorry,” we both said in unison before laughing at one another.

Bella smiled, “No, I’m sorry. I just couldn’t resist, and then once we started, well it was hard
not to get caught up in it, you know?”

I laughed, “More than you know.”

Suddenly, Bella was yawning and she laid her head on my chest. I ran my fingers through her
hair again and heard her inhale deeply. I leaned down and kissed the top of her head, “Sleep,
love. Tomorrow we will talk to Carlisle about everything. But for now, you need to rest.”

Bella hummed quietly before speaking, “Alright.” And then she was asleep. Listening to the
steady and soothing rhythm of her breathing brought me closer and closer to sleep until finally
my eyes closed.

***

The next day, Carlisle sat in the chair next to Bella’s hospital bed and explained her current
situation to her and what we could do to rectify it. Carlisle had referred us to Dr. Cheney, the
best physical therapist in Port Angeles. He had agreed to come out a couple times a week to
work with Bella. It was up to Bella and I to work on it in between his visits.

“So,” Bella started, looking down at her hands, “When can I go home?”

Carlisle looked at her, “Bella, sweetheart. We’d like to keep you just a few more days and
keep you under observation. You were in a coma for five and a half months, we need to make
sure everything is truly okay before we send you home.”

She looked into his eyes, “But Edward’s a Doctor too. He can take care of me from home.”

Bella looked up at me and I smiled at her, “Love, Carlisle is your Doctor and I think he’s right
about staying here a few more days. We will be home soon enough, I promise. We don’t have
everything at home to deal with anything, should it happen,” I paused, realizing my words
could have a negative effect on Bella’s recovery, “Which it won’t.”

Bella sighed, “Fine. I’ll stay, but I’ll have you both know that I don’t like being here. I want
to be at home, in my own bed.”

“It’s just for a few days, Bella,” Carlisle told her as he stood to leave the room. “Listen, Dr.
Cheney will be here sometime later this afternoon. He will walk you through your recovery
process and possibly get you started.”

Bella smiled at Carlisle, “Thanks. I really do appreciate everything you have done for me.”
Bella looked up at me again and took my hand in hers, “For us.”

Carlisle smiled at her, “Bella, you are a part of this family. I couldn’t stand by and do nothing.
You know that. Thanks are not necessary.” Carlisle leaned down and hugged Bella before
leaving to do the rest of his rounds.

Bella fell silent after my father left the room. I sat next to her on the bed and gripped her hand
tightly in my own, “What’s on your mind?” I asked her.

She sighed and looked at me, “It’s nothing. I’m just scared that this recovery will take far
longer than we have before the baby comes. I don’t want to be like this,” she indicated to her
unmoving legs with the wave of her free hand, “when he’s born. What kind of mother can I be
to him like this?”

“The best. Bella, things are going to be better than fine. I have faith that your recovery will
take no time at all. We just have to stay positive and work at it every day, no matter how hard
it is,” I told her.

She smiled at me and leaned her head against my shoulder, “Forever the optimist, huh?” she
laughed. I kissed the top of her head and she sighed.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door and when we both looked towards it we saw Rose,
Emmett, Alice and Jasper. Bella’s eyes lit up exponentially.

“Hey guys,” I welcomed them, waving my arm to come in.

Alice practically threw herself on the bed and threw her arms around Bella, who responded in
kind.

“Bella! I can’t tell you how much we all missed you. If you ever do something like this
again…” she began to threaten.

Bella pulled out of the hug and smiled at her, “Okay, so no more car accidents and comas. Got
it.”

Rosalie stepped forward and pulled Bella into a hug next, “You scared the shit out of us, girly.
I’m just sorry Emmett and I couldn’t get back from overseas sooner. I feel like such an awful
friend. We promised to never let anything come between us ever again and there I am, over in
Italy, and not able to get back here when you needed us the most.” Tears were now streaming
down Rose’s cheeks.

“Rose, don’t. You couldn’t help it. I understand that. What’s important is you are here now. I
missed you guys so much. All of you.”

Jasper and Emmett wandered further into the room and each hugged Bella. I got up and found
a few more chairs to pull up by Bella’s bedside so they could all stay and visit for a bit before
Dr. Cheney showed up.

I watched and listened as Bella caught up with everyone. They were all a little shocked to
hear that she could hear them all while she was unconscious, so she didn’t miss too much.

A couple hours had passed since everyone arrived and we were all sitting around talking
about old times when there was a knock at the door. We all turned our heads to see Carlisle
standing there.

“Bella, you have another visitor, if you’re feeling up to it,” he announced.

Bella smiled, “Yeah, sure. The more the merrier,” she exclaimed.

Carlisle smiled and then disappeared into the hall for a minute before returning with Bella’s
newest visitor.

Bella’s eyes opened wide in shock and I saw her eyes begin to fill with tears. “Billy,” she said
her voice barely above a whisper.

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN:

BPOV

When I couldn’t move my legs, I completely panicked. I didn’t know what to think or what
this meant. All I could focus on was the fact that I was completely screwed. How could I raise
a baby, and when the time came, chase a toddler around in a wheel chair?

Edward kept telling me not to worry, and sure, he was a Doctor, but he wasn’t the one whose
legs didn’t work. He just kept saying it over and over again and when I had finally heard
enough, I snapped at him. I instantly regretted it, having never spoken to him, of all people,
like that before, but for some reason, the angry words kept spewing forth as though that was
who I had become.

Then to hear him take that same tone and turn it on me, I had to say, it hurt…but it also
infuriated me and caused me to lash out even more in hope that he would just back off and
leave me alone. Only, he didn’t flinch, he kept fighting back.

I hadn’t behaved like this since high school. I didn’t know what the Hell was wrong with me,
but deep down, I knew I didn’t like it. So, why couldn’t I stop? I didn’t want to push anyone
away, but that’s exactly what I was doing. It was almost as though whenever something bad
happened, a switch inside my demented mind flipped and I became this completely different
person, blocking myself off from the rest of the world. And I have to say, I really didn’t like
who I became when it happened. Not even a little bit.

I needed to stop, but I was so confused and angry that that was the last thing on my mind. I
felt as though I needed to fight something, and Edward was the only physical thing I could
find to take it out on. I couldn’t fight my emotions, they were what they were, right?

After we exchanged a few more cruel words, I really didn’t feel like fighting with him further,
so I turned away from him in hope he would just leave me alone to think and I could stop
being such a…well…bitch, to him. But he kept running from one side of the bed to the other,
forcing me to open up to him every time I turned away. His persistence, which I once found to
be endearing, was really starting to piss me off in my current state of mind.

He was finally silent and I was relieved to be able to escape inside my own thoughts for a
moment. Then, he touched my calf, and his hands were freezing. It came as a shock and I was
a little upset that he even had the nerve to touch me while we were fighting, and to do so
when his hands were of sub-zero temperatures? Well that was just rude. However, my
feelings of resentment towards his actions only lasted as long as it took for me to realize that
he touched my leg and I could tell the difference in temperature. That had to mean something,
right?

He looked up at me from his kneeling position on the ground with such…hope…and I
couldn’t spit out the apologies for my behavior fast enough. I could only pray that he would
find it in himself to forgive me for my brazen attitude…and I was beyond shocked when he
did just that. I knew I didn’t deserve it, realistically, but that was just the way he always was
with me. He never gave up on me, not even when I had completely given up on myself, and I
tended to do that an awful lot.

I invited him back up onto my bed and he pulled me into his embrace, where I laid my head
on his chest and we fell asleep in each other’s arms that night. I finally felt at peace and like I
was exactly where I belonged.

The next day, Carlisle came to my room and the three of us discussed his ideas for my
rehabilitation. I admit I was completely terrified, but I knew this was something I had to do -
for Edward and our unborn child, and obviously, for myself. Carlisle had referred us to a Dr.
Cheney, and said he would be here sometime this afternoon to meet with us and discuss
treatment.

I was both nervous and kind of excited to start treatment and regain the full use of my legs
again. There was, of course, still a small part of me that was a little skeptical, but I think that
was just me trying to prepare myself for the worst. I did tend to live my life that way… “The
Eternal Pessimist”… yup, that was me.

What I wanted more than anything in the world though, was to go home. So, I was
disappointed when Carlisle told me I had to stay in the hospital a few more days to be kept
under observation. I mean, I guess it made sense, but I still would prefer to be at home, in my
own bed. I had seen enough hospitals in my lifetime and I hated being in them for prolonged
periods of time. Even though I didn’t really remember being here for the last five months, it
didn’t change the fact that I was here and didn’t want to be anymore.

Edward and I spent the morning alone in my room, just talking, when Alice, Jasper, Rose and
Emmett showed up. We all sat around chatting about what everyone had been up to. I started
to snicker and when Rose asked what was so funny, I had to tell her that I didn’t feel as out of
the loop as I thought I would, since I apparently could hear everything each and every one of
my friends and family were saying to me.

What happened next was definitely unexpected.

Carlisle poked his head into the door and cleared his throat. “Bella, you have another visitor,
if you’re feeling up to it,” he announced.

I looked over at him and grinned. “Yeah, sure. The more the merrier.”

Carlisle smiled and then disappeared into the hall before returning with the last person on
Earth that I ever expected would come to visit me.

When my eyes fell on his dark face as Carlisle pushed his wheelchair into the room, I could
feel the tears stinging my eyes, threatening to spill over onto my cheeks. I gasped, “Billy,”
and my voice was barely above a whisper.

He smiled at me and tipped his head in my direction as he took in the room full of people and
greeted them all. I tried to put a smile on my face and hold back my tears.

“Hey, Bells. How are you doing?” he asked, wheeling his chair closer to my bed and taking
my hand in his to give it a gentle squeeze.

I smiled weakly at him and felt a few traitorous tears fall onto my cheeks, where I quickly
wiped them away with the back of my free hand. My voice cracked as I answered him. “I’m

doing alright. How about you?” It was a stupid question to ask, especially after what I had
done to his son.

Billy only smiled and patted the back of my hand. “I’m doing just fine.”

My eyes wandered to my other visitors and I looked at them apologetically. “Guys, could you
give us a minute? I want to visit with Billy in private.”

Alice and Jasper immediately stood up and smiled before giving me a hug and vacating the
room with promises to return with cake. I couldn’t help but laugh. Rose and Emmett stood
next and hugged me before following Alice and Jasper.

The room was silent as I looked up at Edward, who was now standing at the head of my bed,
looking back and forth between Billy and me. I smiled at him. “Would you mind leaving as
well? Please?”

Edward looked down at me, shocked that I even had the audacity to ask him to leave. His jaw
hung open for a second or two before he snapped it shut and smiled at me. He placed his hand
on my cheek and stroked it with his thumb, “Of course, but only if you’re sure.” He sounded
as though he were forcing the words out. He didn’t really want to leave, but he would,
because I asked him to.

He leaned down and placed a kiss on my forehead before vacating the room, stealing one last
glance back in my direction to make sure I was going to be okay. I smiled and nodded at him
and he left the room.

I looked back over at Billy and we sat there in an awkward moment of silence before I finally
spoke, the tears now spilling out onto my cheeks in full force, “Billy, I’m so incredibly sorry.
I don’t even think I can come up with the words that can fully express just how sorry I really
am for what I’ve done to your family.”

Billy looked at me with a look of pure confusion on his face, “Now, Bells. What could you
possibly have to be sorry about?” he asked.

I broke eye contact with him as I nervously pulled my bottom lip in between my teeth and
cringed as the memories of that night came flooding back to me again. I put my face in my
hands as I sobbed, “Jake. I’m the one who is responsible for what happened to him that
night.”

I heard Billy’s soft release of breath before he spoke. “Bells, I didn’t come here today to place
blame on you, or anyone else, for what happened that night. I spoke with your dad last night
and he told me you were awake and I was beyond elated to hear such good news. I came as
soon as I was able to, just to visit with you and see how you were doing. That’s all.” He
smiled at me before continuing. “I don’t blame you, not one iota. The accident was not your
fault. The road conditions were atrocious. No one in their right mind could blame any of you
kids for the events of that night. And if anyone ever does, you just point me in their direction
and I’ll give ‘em what for.”

I couldn’t help but to pull my tear stained and puffy red face up from out of my hands and
look at him as though he were crazy to release me from feeling any guilt I felt from that night.
I furrowed my brow in confusion. “How can you be so forgiving?”

Billy chuckled, “Do you want me to hate you and tell you that this was your fault?” he asked.

I shrugged my shoulders and wiped more tears from my cheeks. “I don’t know. I just…I can’t
help but feel terribly guilty for what happened that night. Everyone keeps telling me not to,
but how can I not? I was the one behind the wheel and I was the one that crashed into Jake.”

“That may be, but he was also behind the wheel and the weather was so bad that night that I
don’t think this could have been prevented. I’m just glad he did what he did before he died.”
Billy’s head fell slightly and I saw a single tear escape his eye.

I looked over at him, “What do you mean?”

Billy looked back into my eyes and sighed. “Jake was the one to call your dad and 911 that
night. Had he not, there’s a good chance that all three of you wouldn’t have made it,” he told
me, his voice cracking as he spoke.

Fresh tears stung my eyes as I learned the truth - Jake saved us. Billy pulled me towards him
and wrapped me in his arms and held me while I sobbed into his shoulder. I could feel him
rest his hand on the back of my head and hold me tightly, trying to comfort me.

I pulled myself free as I felt my sobbing start to cease. Then I wiped at my eyes and smiled at
Billy, who returned my smile with one of his own. His hands enveloped mine once more.

“Bells, know that I never once blamed you or Edward for what happened that night,” he told
me, his warm eyes looking into mine.

I nodded my head. “Thank you. I can’t tell you how much it means to hear you say that.”

Billy and I visited a little bit longer before Edward returned with Dr. Cheney. The nerves took
over once again.

“Well, I should let you guys do what you have to do. I’ll see you soon though, Bells. You two
don’t be strangers now, you hear? Stop by for dinner one night,” he told Edward and me as he
wheeled himself towards the door.

I laughed. “I promise. Just as soon as I’m out of this place, we will come by.”

Billy waved one more time before leaving the room. And then it was just Dr. Cheney, Edward
and me. My smile faded as my nerves returned, stronger than ever.

Dr. Cheney was in his early thirties with dark hair and eyes. He seemed confident in himself
and his ability to do his job, which was obviously good for his patients. He approached my
bed and took a seat at my side, smiling warmly at me. “Good afternoon. You must be Bella.
I’m Dr. Cheney. I’ll be the one in charge of your physical therapy over the next few weeks.”
He held his hand out to me and I took it in mine, firmly shaking it.

When he released my hand, I tucked my hair behind my ears, out of sheer nervousness. I
pulled my bottom lip between my teeth and looked up at Edward, who was standing behind
Dr. Cheney. He crossed the room to stand on my other side while Dr. Cheney continued to
talk about the plans for my recovery process.

“You will meet with me five days a week to begin. During those sessions we will work on
regaining your mobility. On the off days you will be expected to work on it on your own, or
with the help of your husband here.” He nodded his head towards Edward.

Dr. Cheney stood up and went to the foot of my bed. “I am going to show you some stretches
the two of you can do together to strengthen the muscles between sessions.” He looked at my
covered feet and then up at me. “May I?” he asked, indicating to the blankets covering my
legs.

I shrugged. “Sure. Gonna have to eventually, right?”

Dr Cheney pulled the blankets back from my legs, and the chill in the air caused gooseflesh to
appear over them and my arms. He then placed one of his warm hands around my slender
ankle and the other behind my knee. He lifted my leg and bent it at the knee and pushed it
back as far as it could go towards my body. We did this several times before he moved over to
the other leg. He then proceeded to flex my ankles and move them around in circular motions.
I could feel everything, I just couldn’t move. It was the worst case of “dead leg” I had ever
experienced.

After showing us the stretches and a few of the exercises we could do at home, Dr Cheney bid
his farewell and vacated the room, promising to see us tomorrow for my first session. The
nerves settled as soon as he left the room and it was just Edward and me once more.

He sat himself next to me and pulled me into his arms. I couldn’t help but smile as I inhaled
deeply and breathed in every drop of his scent as greedily as I could. He ran his fingers up and
down my back and it sent shivers up my spine as we laid there, tangled up in each other’s
arms.

After a few minutes of silence I sighed and looked up at Edward, who was staring off into
space and seemed to be deep in thought.

“So, do you really think this is going to work?” I asked him, my voice quiet.

Edward looked down at me, appearing shocked that I would even ask this. He smiled. “Love,
of course this is going to work. Why would you think any differently?”

I looked away from him and nuzzled my head into his chest a little more while I absent-
mindedly picked at the invisible lint on his immaculately clean hospital scrubs. “I don’t know.
I just have this impending feeling of doom about the whole thing. My life always takes these
wicked turns for the worse and it seems like nothing will ever be right again. I don’t want to
get my hopes up just to have them come crashing down, you know? I don’t know that I would
survive the disappointment.”

Edward chuckled softly before placing a lone kiss on the top of my head. “Bella, you need to
think positively about this whole process. I know it will work. It’s going to be hard on both of

us, but we need to stay positive. For each other and for the baby,” he said as he laid his hand
against my belly. I smiled as the baby kicked in response to his gentle touch.

I placed my hand over his and smiled up at him. “You’re right.”

“I always am,” he told me as he leaned his head down and kissed me lightly on the lips. He
looked at me and smiled. “Okay, well you need to eat. Are you in the mood for anything in
particular? I can go out and grab you something.”

I hadn’t thought about all day, but now that he brought it up, I suddenly found myself
absolutely famished. I furrowed my brow and thought about what it was that I wanted. I
suddenly had a craving for Italian.

“You know, mushroom ravioli sounds really good right now. Would you mind?” I asked,
batting my eyelashes at him.

“Of course not. I will run out now, you just rest. I’ll be back shortly. If you need anything at
all while I am gone, just have Carlisle paged, alright?” he instructed as he stood up and kissed
my forehead.

“Will do,” I told him.

Edward left the room and I was left alone. I couldn’t help the smile that slowly crept across
my face as I laid back and thought about all that had happened in the last 24 hours.

While everything wasn’t perfect, I was trying to keep hope alive that it would be.

Little did I know how very wrong I was…

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

ChPOV

Sigh. Here I was again. Forks General. I pulled my cruiser to a stop in one of the few parking
stalls available and sat there with the engine idling as I became completely engrossed in my
thoughts. I had developed a distaste for this place, though I can say without a doubt that today
would be a good day compared to all the rest. Why? Because my baby girl was finally awake.
After five and a half long ass months, she finally woke up.

We were told that the odds of this happening were slim. I sat by her side daily and watched as
my baby faded away right before my eyes. Her already pale skin became more and more
sallow as the days wore on. Her cheeks became sunken in and she developed black circles
under her eyes. The only thing keeping her alive was a machine that breathed for her. But it
wasn’t the same. She was gone. Everything that made her Bella was just…gone. Her laugh,
her smile, all of it…gone.

Every day that passed, we all watched as her stomach grew with my first, and as it would
seem, last grandchild. Not that this was my only concern. But to see what was happening to
her body just reminded me that nothing was ever going to be the same ever again. Bella
would never get to know this little person growing within her.

I had always envisioned a house full of laughing grandkids that I could spoil rotten at
Christmas and every holiday thereafter while their parents sat back on the couch drinking
cider in front of the fire while Grandpa Charlie twirled them around and fed them candy
before shipping them back off to their home. But in the span of a few short hours, it was taken
from me. Not just me. From all of us. Edward, the Cullens, and all of Bella’s closest friends.

And I thought the day Renee died was the hardest trial I would ever have to endure. Boy was I
wrong. To outlive your children was truly one of the most heart wrenching things that could
ever happen to a person, and I couldn’t believe I had come so close to that becoming a reality.

Words cannot express the thoughts that went through my head when the phone rang that
night.

I was sitting at the dinner table after I finished my pan fried steak and baked potato, scolding
myself for not taking Bella up on her cooking lessons she offered to me before she moved out
and married Edward.

I rinsed my dishes and placed them in my empty dishwasher. I grabbed the newspaper off the
counter and headed back to the table where I began reading the most recent headlines for our
county.

I was just checking out the sports section when the phone rang. I set the paper down and
stood from the table and walked over to the counter where the cordless phone was hung on its
base. Bella had forced me to buy it so she could talk wherever in the house during those
difficult teen years, and might I add, she seemed to misplace it more than she used it. It was
missing so often, in fact, that when it died we couldn’t even page it to locate it.

I looked at the caller ID on the handset and instantly recognized the number.

“Hey, buddy! What’s up?” I called into the phone, happy to hear from him.

The voice on the other end was quiet, though. Much quieter than I had remembered.
“Charlie,” he rasped.

Something wasn’t right. I could feel it in the pit of my stomach. My grip on the receiver
tightened. “Jake? Son, what’s wrong?”

I heard a sputtering sound before he spoke again, “Bella.”

“She’s not here, Jake. What’s wrong?” I repeated.

There was a pause. “I think…her. Can’t…get to her. Stuck…so cold.” He was completely out
of it. I grew more and more worried.

“Jake,” I began.

“One-Oh-One, twenty miles out of PA. Hurry.” And then the phone was dead.

Dread filled every fiber of my being as I dropped the phone, hearing it shatter against the tile
floor. I lunged for the front door, grabbing my police jacket and the keys to the cruiser. I
don’t even remember if I locked the door. Hell, I may have not even closed it. All I knew, was
in the pit of my stomach I felt that something was wrong with Bella.

I flipped the siren on in the cruiser and peeled away from the curb. I realize I wasn’t
technically on duty, and I didn’t want people to think this was an abuse of power…but, shit.
My baby girl was somewhere between here and Port Angeles. Lord only knows what
happened. I needed to hurry. I was the police chief here; no one was going to question my
authority.

The rain was coming down in buckets. I could hardly see anything. Wait, was that rain? I
wiped my hand across my eyes and realized that I had tears of fear streaming from them. I
tried to calm myself. I could barely see the road through the rainstorm, let alone through my
own impaired vision.

As soon as I hit the highway I noticed the blacktop was slick with a thick sheet of water. I was
thankful that I had new tires put on the cruiser, and hoped that they would help me keep more
traction on the road while I was breaking every speed limit trying to reach my baby.

My baby.

Bella.

I experienced what I can only describe as a flashflood of memories while I drove.

The first time I held her in my arms and stared into her big beautiful, curious eyes. I knew I
would always do anything I could to protect her and to keep her safe. She was my life. There
was nothing I wouldn’t do for that kid. Absolutely nothing.

The first time she smiled at me. I could never forget that. Renee told me it was gas, but I think
she was just jealous that I got the first smile and she didn’t when she was the one that stayed
home with her all day.

Her first word. “Daddy”. When she uttered that one single word, my heart melted. I can’t
even explain how it felt to hear it. I was the proudest “daddy” in that one moment. I am pretty
sure I called each and every one of my friends to tell them. Of course, none of them really
understood, except for maybe Billy. But even he thought I was a little nuts.

When she was four she was adamant that she learn to ride a two wheeler like the Newton boy
down the street. So I took her out one day and we bought her a pink bike with handle bar
streamers and a bell. We worked all day long on learning. She fell the first time I let go, and
the guilt of letting her go almost killed me. I ran to her side as she sat on the sidewalk
hugging her scraped up knee. The tears were streaming down her rosy cheeks. She looked up
into my eyes, her brown eyes pleading with me to take the pain away. I did what any father
would do. I knelt down in front of her and placed my lips to her knee. She began to giggle and
told me that my mustache “tickled the owies away”. I helped her up and we brushed ourselves
off. I suggested we call it a day, but in true Bella form, she wasn’t going to give up. Of course,
her natural born clumsiness caused her to fall more times than I thought was humanly
possible. She had a lot of scrapes and bruises by the end of the day, but she was riding that
two wheeler in circles around Mike Newton.

The first time she saw monsters in her closet I went into her room and did the standard Police
Chief check under her bed and in her closet with my flashlight. She stood behind me, tugging
on my t-shirt and peeking out from behind me as I moved her clothes from side to side to show
her that nothing was there. I sat on her bed with her while she snuggled up next to me, her
tiny body trembling in fear that I was wrong. She would point out weird noises that I told her
were passing cars, or the furnace kicking in. Even the tree outside her window would tap on
the siding of the house, causing her to whimper and clutch onto my shirt just a little tighter.

The thought of the tree actually had me thinking in a few short years I would have to prune
those branches before the boys started scaling them to call on my precious little Bella.

She eventually got over the monsters, but thunderstorms had always freaked her out. Even to
this day, she hated them. I remembered sitting in a chair in the corner of her room, promising
to watch over her so she could sleep. Every time the thunder would boom her body would
jump. I wished there was something I could do to make it go away, other than just ride out the
storm in the uncomfortable wooden chair. But, as uncomfortable as it was, I would sit there
for an eternity if I had to, just to make her feel like she was safe.

When she was twelve, she started to take an interest in baseball. Or maybe she was only
taking an interest because it was my favorite sport. Either way, I found it endearing when she
approached me one day, wearing a ball cap and sporting one of my old gloves. She asked me
to play catch with her. So, I grabbed my cap and glove and we headed to the park. We played
for the afternoon, but her clumsiness shone through time and time again. She had no aim, and
couldn’t catch at all, but she was trying and she swore up and down she was having the time
of her life. She hit me in the shin more times than I could count and I hoped that it wouldn’t
bruise up too badly. We headed home for dinner and we laughed the whole way home about
how horrible she was at baseball. She didn’t disagree; in fact, she was the first one to admit
it.

When she went on her first actual date (I didn’t count those yahoos she dated before Edward),
I watched her walk out that door and I had to hold myself back. She made me promise to
behave. Edward was her first real boyfriend who picked her up at the house. I knew he was a
good guy, but I couldn’t help but be that over protective dad when it came to my baby girl. He
promised to take good care of her, but wasn’t that my job? I was her only parent, after all.
Her mother had died a year earlier, and Bella had just come back to me after her year-long
rebellion against any and all authority. I watched as they walked to his car and he opened the
door for her. It made me feel good that she was out with a nice respectable guy. I knew his
parents and I knew he was raised right.

When she told me she was getting married, I was without words. I didn’t know what to say.
She and Edward had been together for three years when he proposed. They sat me down one
day and told me that they were in love and they wanted to get married. I couldn’t not give my
blessing, Edward was a great guy and he treated my Bella like the queen she deserved to be
treated like.

When it came to walking her down the aisle, I have to say, it was far more emotional than I
would have thought. To see her standing in her white gown in the hall of our house was a
sight to behold. She was strikingly beautiful. Tears stung my eyes as I realized that she was
all grown up. She was no longer the baby I held, the toddler I snuggled, the little girl who
learned to ride a two wheeler, or the little girl who couldn’t play catch to save her life. She
was a woman. Soon to be married to the man she loved. In that moment I was that proud
“daddy” once again. I gave her to her prince and watched as they pledged their love to one
another in the backyard of our home.

My most recent memory was from the day before today. Bella stopped by and made me lunch.
She had called and said she needed to tell me something. She didn’t sound upset, so I knew it
couldn’t be bad news. While we were eating our lunch she smiled and told me that I was
going to be a grandfather. My jaw went slack and she began to laugh at me. She told me I was
not at liberty to tell anyone until after her and Edward’s anniversary because she hadn’t even
told him yet. I regained control of my mouth and smiled as I stood from the table and pulled
her into my arms.

I was jerked out of my memories as the lights of the cruiser fell upon a crushed up VW Rabbit.
Jake’s car. I pulled the cruiser off to the side of the road and heard the tires screech as it
came to a stop. I threw the car into park and jumped out. I ran to Jake’s car and noticed the
front end was completely obliterated. I saw him slumped over in the driver’s seat. I tried to
open the door, but it was jammed shut. I couldn’t get in. His cell phone was in his hand that
rested over the steering wheel and on the dash board. It was open and the light was on. I
noticed the numbers “911” on it, and suspected that he must have called them after he called
me. I wondered if he actually talked to them though.

Suddenly my thoughts drifted back to Bella. Where was their vehicle? My eyes scanned the
area for the Volvo. I couldn’t find it anywhere near the Rabbit, and with the rain coming
down it made it difficult to see anything at all. I grabbed my flashlight and began to scan the
area.

My eyes fell upon her truck, not the Volvo, on the other side of the highway. The hood was
completely wrapped around a tree and there was a large amount of blood on the driver’s side

window. My heart leapt into my throat as I dropped the flashlight and ran as fast as I could
towards the truck.

Any and all police and first aid training regarding accidents and crime scenes flew out the
window of my brain as I reached the truck. I yanked the door open and what I saw horrified
me.

Bella was slumped to the side, blood was everywhere. She had smacked her head on the
window as they crashed. When I looked past her I saw Edward was also in pretty bad shape.
His entire face and shirt was covered in blood.

I should have left Bella in the truck until the medics arrived to ensure she wasn’t injured too
severely. But my paternal instincts were so much stronger in that moment than my Police
Chief training. And in my books, instincts trumped training every time.

I reached across Bella frantically and unbuckled her seat belt. I pulled her from the truck,
tears streaming from my eyes, mixing with the rain that was still pouring from the sky. I
collapsed on the ground three feet from the truck and wept as I held Bella’s limp, lifeless body
in my arms. Her blood soaked through my jacket and shirt as we sat there in the rain and
waited. I could feel her pulse, and it seemed to be weakening with each passing minute.

I pushed the wet hair back off of her face and cried. “Bella! Bella, sweetheart. Can you hear
me? Daddy’s here, baby. Don’t worry. Daddy’s here.” I rocked us back and forth, and
pressed my forehead against hers. My eyes were clenched tightly as I tried to will this all to
be a bad dream.

I wasn’t sure how long I sat there in the rain, holding her body against mine, but I soon saw
the flash of lights as the paramedics, fire trucks and police cruisers pulled up. They seemed to
be coming from both Forks and Port Angeles.

I could hear the voices around me, but I didn’t understand what they were saying. My
thoughts were focused completely on Bella. I saw the shapes of what I assumed were people
running between me and the truck. There were more voices as they discovered another body
within its confines. I lifted my head for a moment to see them pull Edward from the car and
place him on a gurney. I was relieved to hear them say he was alive as they rushed him to one
of the ambulances.

I turned my head back to the highway where Jake’s car was. The firemen were able to rip the
driver’s side door off the hinges and pull him from the vehicle. His massive body was pulled
onto a gurney and they began to administer CPR as they ran to a second ambulance.

My thoughts and focus returned to my baby girl, who was in my arms, her breathing shallow
and her pulse weak. I wiped the water from her brow and pulled her closer to my body as I
tried to keep her warm.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and a quiet voice invaded my thoughts, “Chief?”

I broke my gaze on Bella’s face and looked up at the voice. It was one of my deputies from
Forks. I didn’t respond. I couldn’t find any words. Shock had set in something fierce.

“Chief, we need to take her to the hospital. Now,” he told me. I looked past him and saw that
there were paramedics from a third ambulance waiting to take her from me. I looked back at
Bella and then back at my deputy and nodded. I stood up, still holding Bella close to me. I
walked towards the paramedics and placed Bella on the gurney between them.

“Take her to Forks. Her Doctor is there. Dr. Cullen,” I told them as they nodded and wheeled
her towards the ambulance at a fast pace. As they were running I called after them, “Take the
men there too.”

I walked back towards my cruiser, fully intending on following them back into Forks. As we
left the scene of the crime, I picked up my cell phone and dialed Dr. Cullen.

“Dr. Cullen, here,” the voice from the other end called through the receiver.

“Carlisle, its Charlie. Listen, there’s been an accident,” I told him. I could barely choke out
the words.

There was a brief pause, “Charlie, what’s going on?”

I felt the tears fall from my eyes once more as I spoke, “There was an accident on the one-oh-
one tonight. Bella and Edward’s truck collided with Jake Black’s car. It doesn’t look good,
Carlisle. I was the first on the scene. I told the paramedics to take them to you.”

Carlisle was silent on the other end for what seemed like too long, but it could have been that
my sense of time was completely skewed right now.

“Carlisle?”

“Yeah, I’m here. Sorry, I just…” his voice trailed off.

I nodded, as if he could see me, “Yeah, I know. I am on my way. I am following the
paramedics. We should be there in about a half hour.”

“Sounds good. I’ll be waiting,” he said.

I sighed, “Thanks, Carlisle. We’ll be there soon.”

And the rest is history. We got there, Bella had woken up momentarily and freaked out before
she began seizing and then she was gone. It was almost as though her brain couldn’t handle
the seizure.

As I walked into the hospital and nodded my head towards the receptionist, I made my way
towards Bella’s room.

I stood out of sight of the open door for a moment and took a deep breath. After five and a
half months of bad news, I needed to mentally prepare myself, just in case.

When I felt ready, I turned the corner and entered the room, and the sight I saw made my
heart swell with happiness.

Bella had a healthy pink color to her face again and she was smiling as she ate pasta from a
take-out container. Edward was at her side smiling more brightly than he had in the last five
months. It was a refreshing sight. I hadn’t seen him smile in so long. Then I heard it. Bella
laughed. Her laughter rang out in the room. The sound was melodious and it had been far too
long since I had heard it.

I smiled as I watched them just be…them.

And for the first time in a long time I knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that my baby was
going to be just fine.

CHAPTER NINETEEN:

EPOV

“Bella, you’re doing incredibly well,” Dr. Cheney said as he gripped Bella under her left arm.
I looked at Bella from my place at her right side and smiled. The look on her face was not that
of happiness, it was one of frustration and sorrow.

“Stop,” she said, tears threatening the rims of her eyes.

Dr. Cheney smiled at her and gave her arm a reassuring squeeze. “Come on. You can do this.
Just a few more steps and we can take a break. You’ve already taken five steps. A few more
can’t hurt,” he said with a wink.

Normally, if another man were to have winked at my wife I’d have lost it, but he was just
trying to be friendly and get her to trust him.

My smile disappeared as Bella’s back went rigid and she spoke again, “No. I said stop. I can’t
do this. I need to stop. Now.”

The smile faded from Dr. Cheney’s face and he sighed, “Alright. Let’s get you back into your
bed. We can try again tomorrow.”

I held onto Bella as Dr. Cheney grabbed her wheelchair and she sat herself in it. I pushed her
back to her bed and helped her into it. She pulled the blankets up over her lower body and
sank back into the pillows. She just sat there, staring at nothing in particular. I placed a soft
kiss on her forehead before following Dr. Cheney out into the hall to discuss Bella’s progress.

Dr. Cheney was right outside the room waiting for me. He didn’t wait for me to say anything
before he spoke, “Edward, I am concerned for her recovery. The past three days of therapy
have been less than I had hoped for her. She seems to be giving up, and if we continue down
this road, I’m afraid her muscles will atrophy and heal incorrectly, forcing her to remain in a
wheel chair indefinitely.”

“So tell her that,” I told him, unsure why he was trying to scare me and not the one who
actually NEEDED the scaring at this point. I knew what would happen to her if she continued
down this path.

Dr. Cheney sighed again and ran his fingers through his hair, “I intend to. But I needed to
make you aware before I did. I have been instructed to discuss everything with you first
before her, since she is in a more fragile state of mind.”

I nodded in understanding as he continued, “Edward, I also need to make you aware that this
is not the first time I have seen a patient hold back in this way. It happens more times than I’d
like to admit, actually. But I want you to know that there is a good chance that Bella is going
to withdraw emotionally from the entire process. I need for you to be there as her husband,
not a doctor. Carlisle and I can handle the medical part of her recovery. She needs you to be
there for her to help her through this.”

Dr. Cheney and I spoke for a few more minutes before I re-entered Bella’s room to find that
she had not moved a muscle in the twenty minutes we were gone. I shook my head and tried
to remember what Dr Cheney had said about just being there for her.

I sat in the chair at her bedside and took her hand. I smiled and gave her hand a gentle
squeeze. “You did really well today,” I told her. I don’t know what I expected, but it wasn’t
this. She remained completely unresponsive and wouldn’t speak to me. Her eyes seemed to
glaze over as she stared at the wall straight ahead.

My mouth opened and closed as I tried to find the words, but nothing came out. Any words
would have been good at this point. I just wanted to get a response. But I couldn’t think of
anything. A tear fell from my eye as I let my head fall to the mattress by her hip.

I had never felt so defeated in all my life. But never mind my feelings, I couldn’t even
imagine how Bella must have felt at this moment. There were no words to describe how much
I wished I could read her thoughts at this very moment.

“Bella, come on. Please talk to me,” I pleaded. I looked up and noticed she still hadn’t moved.
I couldn’t understand it. Dr. Cheney warned me not ten minutes ago that this could happen,
but did I really expect it to? No. Less than a week ago we were talking and laughing like
everything was fine, and now she wouldn’t let me help her. I felt so incredibly powerless, and
this is not a feeling I handled all too well when It came to Bella.

Dr. Cheney’s words replayed over and over in my head. I needed to be here for Bella as her
husband not a doctor. She had enough doctors looking out for her. So, that’s what I was
attempting to do--“help her through this”. I sat at Bella’s bedside, holding her hand. My
thumb ran back and forth against the back of her hand as I spoke to her, but she remained
motionless and unresponsive.

I placed my thumb and index finger on her chin and gently turned her face to mine and looked
into her unmoving eyes. “Bella, I’m begging you. Please, talk to me.”

She blinked her eyes and focused on my face. I was shocked to get any form of response from
her and while I sat there staring at her, she turned her head away from me and sighed. She
rotated her body as much as possible so she was facing the other direction and began sobbing.
My heart wrenched within my chest as I listened to her muffled cries.

I didn’t want to upset her, so I stayed where I was and placed my hand on her shoulder and
squeezed in a reassuring manner as I spoke to her, “Love. What’s the matter?”

Bella wiped her eyes and sniffled. Her muffled voice was barely audible when she spoke, “I
know you and Dr. Cheney both think I can do this and you have so much faith invested in my
recovery, but what if I can’t? What if I never walk again?”

My mouth fell open. After everything she had overcome in the past few days, she was going
to go back to being negative again? I couldn’t let this happen.

“Don’t even talk like that. You are doing so incredibly well and I know you will make a full
recovery,” I told her.

Her body stiffened and I immediately pulled my hand off of her shoulder, sensing a change in
the atmosphere of the room. Bella’s body jerked upward as she sat up and looked at me, her
eyes red rimmed and tears spilled over, staining her cheeks.

“How can you stay so positive? You keep telling me that I am going to recover fully, but you
don’t know that for a fact. No one does.” Her head dropped as she tucked her hair behind her
ears and closed her eyes. She took a moment to calm herself and then continued, “I’m only
asking ‘what if’? Why can’t anyone ever give me a straight answer? I get being positive when
things seem their darkest. Believe me I get that. But what if things stay dark? I want to know
what’s going to happen then,” she explained as calmly as she could manage in her frustration.

I shook my head and stood up. I took her hands in mine and held them tightly as I sat on the
bed next to her. “Bella, I need you to understand that I have to believe that things will get
better. I don’t want to focus on the ‘what ifs’. I can’t. I spent five months thinking I had lost
you and that we were merely keeping you alive for the sake of the baby. I can’t go back to
that place. I need to live in the light.” I lifted her face to look at me and smiled at her, “IF you
never walk again, and that’s a big ‘if’--trust me, we will deal with it. I would rather have that
be the worst thing we have to deal with than not having you at all.”

Bella wiped the tears from her eyes and forced a smile for my sake. Her chocolate brown eyes
seemed to sparkle a bit more, showing me that her mood was changing for the better. Then,
just as suddenly, her eyes took on a worried expression as her smooth brow furrowed.

She pulled one of her hands from my grasp and placed it on my cheek, “I don’t want you to
assume that I think things were easy for you without me. I know it had to be hard for you. It’s
just; I hate it here and wish that we could go home. It’s depressing here and I guess that’s why
I’ve been so moody.” She paused momentarily, “When is your dad going to let you take me
home? I’d feel better there.”

“Bella, we’ve had this discussion,” Carlisle said as he made his way into the room. Bella and I
looked towards him as he moved towards Bella’s bedside.

Bella rolled her eyes. “I know, but I would just feel so much better--”

Carlisle interrupted her, “I need to know that you are okay and making progress here first.
You were in a comatose state for over five months. We need to be sure you are okay.”

“I’m FINE,” she said, emphasizing the word ‘fine’.

Carlisle made his way to her bedside and started checking her vitals, “Even so. I would like to
keep you here a couple more days before I even consider letting Edward take you home.”

Bella crossed her arms across her chest and narrowed her eyes. “Fine. But don’t think I’ll
make this easy on you.”

All Carlisle could do was laugh, “Bella, sweetheart, when have you ever made anything easy
on me in regards to hospital stays?” He patted the back of her hand and then moved out of the
room, leaving us once again.

“He’s a pain in my ass, you know that?” Bella said, turning her head back to me.

I chuckled and kissed her forehead, “Are you hungry? We can head to the cafeteria for a bite
to eat?” I suggested.

Bella sighed before smiling at me and nodded, “That’s a great idea.”

I helped Bella out of bed and into her wheelchair and we made our way down to the cafeteria.
I was happy that her mood had lifted and that she seemed to be a little more positive about
everything for the time being.

I just hoped it stayed that way.

***

Well, Bella really took what my father said about needing to see progress to heart. The day
following her chat with him, Dr. Cheney showed up and Bella was ready to start. Halfway
into the session she was walking around the room. With assistance, of course. She had done a
complete emotional 360 in just twenty-four hours, and she didn’t want to give up at all.

Dr. Cheney could tell when she was getting fatigued and ended the day’s session. Bella tried
to fight him on it, but she eventually gave in. The next three days were the same. Bella was
showing vast amounts of improvement each and every day.

One night, we had turned in early and I don’t know why I woke up, but I was glad I did.

I reached for Bella and was clutching nothing but sheets and blankets. I sat up alarmed that I
was alone in the bed. Panic quickly overtook my body as I scanned the dark room for my
wife. I finally found her about ten feet from the bed…walking.

I jumped out of bed and rushed to her side. “Bella, what the hell are you doing?” I demanded
as I gripped an arm around her waist.

“I couldn’t sleep,” was her only reply.

I turned us around and helped her back to bed. I shook my head as I lowered her onto the bed.
Just as I bent down to help lift her legs into bed, she had lifted them herself and twisted her
body onto the bed. I pinched the bridge of my nose in frustration at her carelessness.

“I get that you are all gung-ho to get out of here, but do you really think that being careless
and walking around a dark room in the middle of the night is the best idea? You could have
really hurt yourself or the baby. What were you thinking?” My tone was harsh, but in that
moment, I didn’t care.

Bella simply smiled. Here I was, reprimanding her like a child and she just looked up at me
and smiled.

“Did you see how far I got on my own?” she asked, sheer pride in her expression.

I looked at her in confusion, “Did you not just hear me?” I asked. “You could have really hurt
yourself or set back your recovery had you not been careful.”

Her eyes brightened and her smile widened, “Right. But did you see how far I got?” she asked
again.

It was then that I realized I couldn’t take this moment from her. Sure she could have set her
recovery back, but did she? No. She had walked halfway across the room on her own, with no
assistance from anyone. What she had done was huge and I was incredibly proud of her.

I smiled as I sat on the bed next to her. I pulled her into my arms and held her. She wrapped
her arms around my neck and squeezed. “I did. I’m amazed at how far you have come in the
last few days.”

Bella pulled out of the embrace, placing her hands on my chest. She looked into my eyes and
held her breath as she leaned forward and pressed her lips to mine. I closed my eyes and put
all of myself into this kiss.

I felt Bella’s hands run up my chest and behind my neck as she wrapped her fingers in my
hair and pulled me closer. My body willed me to continue, but my brain took over and forced
my mouth to stop kissing and start talking.

“Bella, we have to stop,” I mumbled against her mouth.

She responded with a groan as she pulled her face away from mine. In the natural moonlit
room, I could make out the faint blush that had crept across her cheeks as she tucked her hair
behind her ears.

“You’re right. I’m sorry.”

“No, don’t be. I just think we should get clearance before we take this next step,” I told her.

Bella cocked an eyebrow and bit her lower lip, “So basically, what you’re saying is, you want
to get permission from my doctor, who also happens to be your father, on when we can
resume our sex life?”

Shit, I hadn’t thought of it like that…but yeah, that’s exactly what I was telling her. Bella
shook her head and laughed. I climbed under the blankets next to her and pulled her close. I
kissed her gently on the top of her head. “Goodnight, Love.”

“Mmm, goodnight,” she hummed as I ran my fingers through her hair.

***

Two weeks had passed since that night.

We were sent home two days later and I don’t think I had ever seen Bella so happy. I’d say it
was a toss-up between that day and our wedding day for “happiest day of her life”. That’s
how ridiculously overjoyed she was. Not that I could blame her.

So, we had been home for the last two weeks. Bella was now 35 weeks pregnant and feeling
pretty great. She was getting around on her own for the most part, but because of her
condition she found herself feeling more fatigued sooner than usual.

Carlisle still felt it necessary to come to the house every other day to check on her so he could
phone in her progress to Dr. Cheney. She was doing well and neither of them had any cause
for concern.

Charlie had stopped by a few times to make sure she had settled in alright. He was elated to
see that she was doing just fine and seemed happier in her own element than she did within
the drab confines of the hospital. It was so nice to see him happy again after a long five
months.

I had decided it was a good night to celebrate. Bella and I had been in the hospital for so long
and she had come so far in the last three weeks that I wanted to take her out for a nice meal.
Not knowing how she would handle a trip to Port Angeles, I decided that our next best
solution would be the new little Italian eatery here in Forks. Sure it wasn’t as fancy as I would
like, but it would have to do.

My thoughts drifted back to the here and now as I heard the click of heels on the hardwood
floor overhead. I turned towards the stairs and saw Bella begin to descend them. She looked
positively radiant. Her long brown hair shone in the light. The loose curls bouncing with each
step she took. Her skin practically glowed next to the sapphire blue color of her satin dress as
it flowed loosely over her belly.

I met her as she reached the bottom of the stairs and took her by the hand, “Mrs. Cullen, you
look absolutely stunning,” I told her as I kissed the back of her hand. She dropped her head
and blushed.

I led her towards the front door, where I grabbed her shawl and wrapped it around her
shoulders. We stepped out of the house and down the steps. We reached the Volvo and I
opened her door for her. I raced over to the other side and climbed behind the wheel.

Dinner was nice. We were seated at a little table near the back window. It was nice to be out,
just the two of us. It was very reminiscent of how things used to be, and how they could be
again…well except for the impending arrival of our child.

All throughout dinner Bella kept shooting me a look I knew all too well. Having been given
the awkward go-ahead from my father, we wrapped up dinner before the dessert menu came
out and rushed home.

It took everything in me to keep my eyes on the road as I drove us home. I pulled Bella
through the front door and kissed her passionately. Her hands traveled up my body and behind
my neck as she pulled me into her. I felt her tongue trace my lower lip.

I pulled back and looked into her lust-filled brown eyes. “Wait here for a minute while I go
and do a few things upstairs. I just want tonight to be perfect,” I told her.

“It already is,” she told me as she tried to follow me towards the stairs.

I smiled and winked at her, “Just humor me, please.”

Bella rolled her eyes playfully and huffed, “Fine. But make it quick. We’ve waited long
enough for tonight.”

I couldn’t argue with her there. I ran up the stairs as fast as humanly possible and headed to
our bedroom. I took out all the pillared candles I had bought earlier that week and set them in
various places around the room, lighting them as I went.

I finished lighting he last one and was about to turn down the sheets and blankets on the bed
when I heard it.

“Edward!” Bella’s scream was followed by the sound of shattering glass.

My heart pounded in my chest as I raced out of our bedroom and towards the stairs. When I
reached the top of the stairs I looked down and saw Bella’s still form lying on the ceramic tile
in a pool of blood.

My heart leapt into my throat as I launched myself down the stairs towards my unconscious
wife. The table in the front hall had been overturned and the crystal vase that had been sitting
atop it had shattered when it hit the tile. My only guess is that Bella tried to steady herself
after too long on her feet today.

I picked her up off the floor and did a quick examination of her limbs to find the cuts from the
shards of crystal that she was lying in. I found nothing. It was then that I realized the crystal
vase wasn’t to blame for the blood.

The baby was in trouble.

CHAPTER TWENTY

EPOV

My vision blurred as I stood up. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath as I stood there,
holding my pregnant wife’s lifeless form in my arms. When I was finally able to block out all
the negative thoughts and let the rational ones back in, I made my way toward the door as
quickly as possible so I could get Bella to the hospital.

Correction…back to the hospital.

I hurried down the front steps to where we had left the Volvo before going into the house
to…Shit. I looked back toward the house as I stood right next to the Volvo. From where I
stood I could see the candle light flickering from our second floor bedroom window. Conflict
warred in my head. Do I go back upstairs and blow out the candles so the house didn’t burn
down? Or do I risk it and get Bella to the hospital NOW before any more damage is done?

Alice.

I opened the passenger side door and slid Bella onto the leather seat, buckling her in securely.
I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket and called my sister as I ran to the other side of the
car and slid behind the wheel.

“Hello?” Alice’s quiet voice answered.

“Alice! I need you to stop by the house right now and go to the master bedroom and blow out
all the candles,” I told her in a rushed voice.

“Why? Where the hell are you?” she asked.

“I’m just leaving the house right now. Bella collapsed and is bleeding. I need to get her to the
hospital, so there was no time to take care of it. Please, Alice.” I was about to start begging
her, but her love for Bella saved me from such embarrassment.

“Oh my God! Yes, of course, Edward. I’m on my way. We’ll meet you at the hospital after
we leave your place. Jasper!” The line went dead.

I dialed my father’s cell phone number and pushed the send button. It rang four times before
going to voicemail. “Damn it,” I muttered. I hit the disconnect button and then redialed. My
heart was racing and so many thoughts were going through my head, but I couldn’t
distinguish any one in particular.

Once again, it rang four times before it went to voice mail. “Son of a bitch!” I cried out,
tossing the phone onto the dash. It clattered against the windshield before it settled and slid
down toward Bella’s side. I glanced over at her. She was still passed out with her head
slumped against the window. Her arms hung loosely at her sides.

I looked back to the road ahead of me. The trees were all a blur as I sped past them. I jumped
as my phone rang. I looked across the dash and saw it sitting right in front of Bella. I steadied
my left hand on the wheel and leaned over as far as I could, keeping my eyes on the road. I

grabbed the phone and flipped it open, small amounts of relief washed over me like a cool
breeze on a hot summer day.

“Dad. Thank God,” I breathed into the phone.

“Edward, what’s going on? Are you okay?” he asked, concern lacing his usually calm voice.

I could feel my chest tighten as I began to get worked up again. I took a deep breath and tried
to steady my voice. “It’s Bella, dad. She passed out in our foyer. She’s bleeding.”

“Have you located the source of the bleeding and gotten it under control?” he asked,
automatically switching into doctor mode.

“It’s not from an abrasion or anything, dad. It’s the baby. Something’s wrong,” I told him, no
longer able to keep my traitorous tears at bay. They slid down my cheeks as more welled to
the surface, obscuring my vision even more.

I heard shuffling on the other end of the phone as though my father was running around
gathering things up. “I’m leaving the house now, Edward. I’ll meet you at the hospital. I’ll
call Charlie on my way; he should know.”

I breathed a sigh of relief. I knew we weren’t out of the woods yet, but knowing Bella was
soon going to be in my father’s capable hands was a relief. “Thank you, dad. I should be at
the hospital in about ten minutes.”

“I’ll be there,” he said before he hung up the phone.

I disconnected our call and placed my phone in the center console. I kept sneaking looks over
at Bella, hoping beyond hope that she would wake up and tell me she was okay. Not that I
would have stopped our trek to the hospital either way, but just hearing her voice would make
me feel better.

“We’re going to fix this, love. It’s going to be okay. I promise you’regoing to be okay,” I told
her as I reached for her limp hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

After what seemed like an eternity I finally pulled up to the hospital. I parked right out in
front of the doors, planning to move the car as soon as Bella was taken care of. I raced around
to Bella’s side and lifted her out. As I turned to rush her in through the automatic doors,
Charlie ran through them and toward us, taking my keys from me.

“Thank you,” I exhaled as he offered me a fatherly smile before getting into the car.

I raced through the doors and was greeted by my father. Carlisle already had a gurney waiting
for us, and I placed Bella onto it. Charlie came rushing back through the doors minutes later. I
turned to him and before I could apologize and tell him I would do anything I could to make
sure she was okay, he pulled me into his arms and hugged me. It was definitely an unexpected
gesture.

We ended our awkward embrace and he slapped me on the shoulder. “Now you go and take
care of her. Make sure she’s okay,” he told me.

I looked over at my mother as she moved to Charlie’s side and took his hand in a friendly and
supportive manner. They offered me supportive smiles and then waved me on my way. When
I turned back to Bella, I noticed that Carlisle and his assisting doctors were pushing her down
the hall to one of the ultrasound rooms. I followed them quickly.

Once in the room, Carlisle pushed Bella's blood-stained dress up to her breasts. The amount
of blood on the skirt of her dress made me cringe. I returned my focus to what was going on
in front of me right now. Carlisle squeezed a small amount of gel onto her stomach. He picked
up the ultrasound wand and placed it on her lower abdomen and began moving it around. His
brow furrowed, so I went and stood beside him to see what he was seeing.

I squinted my eyes at the monitor as I tried to decipher exactly what I was looking at. I wasn’t
an Obstetrician, so I didn’t have a lot of experience with reading ultrasounds. I felt somewhat
certain that I knew what I was looking at, though, so I offered my suggestion.

“Her placenta detached?” I stated in a questioning voice as I pointed at the screen.

Carlisle nodded slightly but continued to look at the screen as he moved the wand around.
“Mmm hmm. It looks that way. The baby seems fine for now, but with the level of the
placental abruption it would be wise to do an emergency Cesarean. It won’t heal back to the
uterine wall. It’s completely detached.”

As a doctor, I knew that a baby born at thirty-five weeks had a pretty good chance of survival.
The baby would likely be on the thinner side of the spectrum to start with, and his lungs may
not be fully developed, but he stood a pretty good chance of survival.

However, on top of all that, we were now throwing in the risks associated with an emergency
Cesarean. This just made everything a lot more dangerous for the baby and for Bella.

Before I could say anything, though, Carlisle had begun to give his instructions to his staff.
“Prep an OR immediately. We need to get her in there STAT.”

I had never seen these people move so fast in my entire career here. I looked at my father and
I was sure he saw the worry in my eyes. He placed his hands on my upper arms and tried to
offer me a smile. “She’s going to be fine. The baby is going to be fine. Everything is going to
be fine.” He looked down at my shirt. “You should go change.”

I noticed it was covered in Bella’s blood. I followed the stain as it traveled across the front of
my shirt and up both of my arms, and it took me right back to when I picked up her lifeless
body in our foyer. My knees started to quiver and I collapsed to the hard hospital floor,
putting my face in my hands as I cried.

Carlisle knelt in front of me and patted my shoulder. “Edward, you need to get a hold of
yourself. She needs you to be strong for both her and the baby. Now, go and put your surgical
scrubs on. I want you to scrub in.” And with that, he exited the room.

I stayed there for what seemed like hours, when in reality only thirty seconds passed. I wiped
my eyes and went to get changed. Once I had my scrubs on and grabbed my surgical cap, I
headed out to the waiting room and was accosted by my mom and sister’s surprisingly strong,
collective embrace.

“Rose and Em are on their way,” Alice said as we broke away. I smiled and nodded my
appreciation.

I looked at them and then up at Charlie and Jasper. “We are going to be doing an emergency
Cesarean. I’ll keep you all updated.” I took one more look at Charlie. “I'll do whatever it takes
to bring her back,” I promised as I turned and left them all behind me.

I went down to the OR and stood in the scrub room beside Carlisle as he was scrubbing his
hands with the surgical soap. I put my surgical cap on, then ran my hands under the water and
grabbed a bar of soap to begin the same routine. The room had an intense and very familiar
smell of “clean”. The smell calmed me for a moment, until I looked up through the window
and into the OR.

Bella was strapped to the surgical table in a position that could only be compared to Christ’s
crucifixion. It was completely unnerving to watch as they hooked her up to heart monitors and
placed an oxygen mask over her mouth and nose. I watched as the anesthesiologist injected
something into the IV that was already in place. I could only assume it was a general
anesthetic to keep her unconscious during the surgery.

Carlisle finished up. He walked toward the door with his elbows bent at his side so his hands
were facing up and were at shoulder level. He was about to back through the doors when I
spoke. “Dad.” He looked over at me as I met his blue eyes. “Do whatever you have to do to
save her. If it comes down to having to choose between her and the baby, you save her, okay?
I can't lose her.”

He simply nodded and then pushed his way through the doors. I watched as the nurses helped
him into the surgical gown and then placed his gloves on his hands. I finished washing my
hands and then headed into the OR. Apprehension knotted in the pit of my stomach as I
walked closer to where my wife lay, unaware of what was about to happen to her.

Surgical drapes were covering her chest and legs, leaving only her stomach exposed for the
surgery. My eyes fell upon her pale face. She had lost so much color. The pink hue to her
cheeks had completely faded and her complexion had taken on a sallow tint.

I jumped as the nurses helped me into my surgical gown and gloves, their initial touch
shocking me out of my thoughts. Once I was ready, I went and stood on Bella’s left side while
my father stood on her right. My breathing became ragged and this situation suddenly became
all too real as I stood at my wife’s side, about to watch my father cut her open and take our
baby out before it killed her.

I watched as the nurses cleaned the site where the incision would be made. They wiped the
iodine-soaked sponge across Bella’s entire lower abdomen. I stood entranced as it stained her
pale flesh a bright shade of orange.

“Edward, you ready?” my father asked from across the table. I looked at Bella’s tranquil face,
then back at Carlisle. I took a deep breath and nodded my reply.

The nurse handed Carlisle a scalpel and he made the first cut across Bella’s pelvis. The
scalpel was steady in his right hand as it slid easily from Bella’s left hip to the right, creating
an incision that was no bigger than six inches in length.

I felt oddly uneasy as I watched him open up the incision gently and begin shifting a few of
Bella’s internal organs around so he could get to the lower part of her uterus to make the next
incision. I had witnessed and even performed a number of surgeries before today, but none of
my past experiences ever affected me the way this did. This was Bella. My Bella. It unnerved
me that this was being done to her.

Just as I was about to leave the room before I acted foolishly, Carlisle made his incision into
the uterus. Within a few minutes he was able to pull the baby’s tiny head out. I stood in
complete awe of how perfect it was. Small, sure, but perfect. The pediatric nurses rushed over
so they could take the baby to have him checked as soon as he was out.

I was so wrapped up in this tiny person that was coming into the world that I almost didn’t
hear Carlisle. “Edward, I need you to apply a bit of pressure to Bella’s stomach to help the
baby along,” he instructed.

I pressed down gently on Bella’s stomach as Carlisle pulled the baby farther out of Bella's
uterus, and in a few more seconds my son was born. The pediatric nurses began wiping him
down and suctioning out his mouth while Carlisle clamped the cord. He looked up at me, and
though I couldn’t see his mouth behind his surgical mask, I could tell he was smiling.

“Would you care to cut your son’s cord, Dad?” he asked me, his own voice laced with pride.

A son. I had a son. An intense feeling of relief and happiness surged through every fiber of
my being. I took the shears from him and cut through the thin umbilical cord. As soon as it
was cut, the nurses whisked him over to an awaiting warming center to be checked out and
swaddled. I found my concern now torn in two.

On one side, I had my wife who was still cut open and bleeding on this operating table, while
on the other was my baby boy, who still had yet to cry. Panic replaced my concern as the
minutes on the clock ticked by and he still had not cried. I had never been so glad for Bella’s
current state of unconsciousness. She would have been even more panicked than me.

I kept looking over at the table where the nurses and the pediatrician were hard at work trying
to suction everything out of my son’s nose and mouth. The quickened beeping of Bella’s heart
monitor drew my attention back to her. Carlisle was busily stitching her back up when I
looked back in their direction. Her heart rate had steadied again and apparently there was no
need to worry. Easier said than done.

With Bella stitched up and fully covered with heated blankets to bring up her core
temperature I felt my entire body relax. I hadn’t realized until this very moment that I had
been holding my posture so rigidly.

The next sound I heard was like a chorus of angels singing from on high.

My son cried. While most parents would think that to be a sound that evokes nothing but
frustration during long, sleepless nights, to me it was a melodious sound. I would remember it
as such for as long as I lived, because it meant he was alive and going to be fine.

“Edward, Bella’s going to be fine. We will take her to recovery and let her sleep this off. You
go and be with your son. I’ll go and update everyone in the waiting room,” my father told me
as he removed his gloves and slapped me on the shoulder.

I removed my mask and smiled at him. “You have no idea how grateful I am to you for what
you did here today. Words can’t even express how I feel about what you just did for us.”

“She is one of us, Edward. I would do everything in my power to ensure it stayed that way,”
he said as he pulled me into him and hugged me. “Now, go. Be with your boy.”

I turned away from him, with a stupid grin splitting my face from ear to ear as I ripped off my
surgical gown, letting it fall to the floor. I half walked-half ran to the door as the pediatric
team wheeled our son out of the OR.

When we arrived at the nursery, he weighed in at a small, but normal four pounds fourteen
ounces, pretty typical for a thirty-five weeker, and was a whopping twenty and a half inches
long. So he was long and skinny. I was assured that he would put on a bulk of his weight in
the first few weeks.

Once the nurses finished checking his vitals, they swaddled him up tightly and finally let me
hold him. The entire world slipped away as I held this tiny person that Bella and I created in
my arms. I didn’t think it could get any better than this moment.

I was proven wrong when he opened his eyes and looked up at me.

This was the best moment of my entire existence.

CHAPTER TWENTY ONE

BPOV

I opened my eyes and was blinded by the bright light streaming in through the window.
Confusion washed through me. This is not my room. My eyes wandered over the familiar off-
white walls, the generic paintings that adorned them and lastly the faded green curtain that
encircled the bed I was in.

With my eyes clenched tightly closed, I moved to sit myself up. It’s a dream. A horrible,
horrible dream, and I’m about to wake up at any minute. I winced in unbelievable pain as I
drew in a sharp breath. Nope, not a dream. This is painfully real.

“Bella! Don’t sit up to quickly.”

I looked to my right and saw Edward jump to my side from the chair he was sitting in. He
stood by me, taking my right hand in his and using his left hand to brace me under my elbow
as he helped me sit up.

I saw white as a searing pain shot across my lower abdomen. “Ow, shit!” I cried out. I winced
before looking back up at Edward. “I’m back in the hospital. What the hell happened?”
Edward poured a glass of water for me and I took it, drinking it slowly.

Edward pulled his chair closer to my bed and sat in it. He took my hand in his and kissed it.
“You passed out at the house after we got home from dinner the other day. I found you
bleeding on the floor in the foyer, surrounded by glass. When I realized the blood wasn’t from
the fall itself, I rushed you back here where we had to do an ultrasound,” he began.

The memories came flooding back.

Our romantic dinner…the drive back to the house…Edward wrapping me up in his strong
arms and kissing me before rushing upstairs…my unbelievable pain as I noticed the
bleeding…calling out for Edward…and then nothing but darkness.

My hands flew to my stomach, only to be met with nothing. Panic raced through my mind as I
looked down at my stomach and tears sprang to my eyes.

“Edward,” I wept. “What happened?”

“Oh, love. No.” He smiled as he squeezed my hand. “We got here and Carlisle did the
ultrasound. Your placenta had detached and that’s what caused the bleeding. He had to do a
Caesarian.”

My bottom lip quivered as the tears fell freely from my eyes. “And the baby?” I asked, not
sure I wanted to hear the answer.

“He’s beautiful, Bells.” My head jerked toward the door where Charlie was standing with a
tiny bundle in his arms. My hands flew to my mouth as a half-laugh, half-sob came out. Tears
fell from my eyes and my heart raced as I brought my right hand down to my chest, a smile

breaking out across my face. Charlie continued across the room toward me. “Do you want to
hold your son?” he asked.

Using both hands to wipe the tears from my cheeks, I nodded emphatically. I held my arms
out and Charlie lowered him into them before placing a kiss on my forehead. “You did good,
Bells.”

I moved the blanket slightly so I could see his whole, perfect little face. The room seemed to
fall away into an abyss as I sat on that hospital bed holding my baby boy. His eyes were
closed; his lips were tiny, yet full, and they did this tiny suckling motion that melted my heart.
His nose was round and didn’t really resemble anyone’s yet, and his chubby little cheeks were
absolutely squeezable. I moved his little knitted cap and noticed that he had a head full of
dark brown hair.

I leaned my head forward and kissed his forehead. “Hi, baby,” I whispered.

More tears fell from my eyes and I felt Edward’s hand on the back of my neck. “Beautiful,
isn’t he?”

I looked up into his emerald eyes and smiled. “He’s perfect.” I looked back down at our baby
when worry struck. “Is he okay?”

Edward tucked my hair behind my ear. “He’s fine. He was a little small, but his health is
immaculate. He’s a strong little guy.”

Relief washed over me as I looked upon this sleeping miracle and then back over at Charlie. I
was pleasantly surprised to see everyone else had shown up while I was lost in my moment.

Alice and Rosalie rushed to my bedside. Rosalie forced Edward to abandon his post as she
squeezed her way in between us and sat next to me. “Make room, Cullen,” she said. Edward
obliged and sat in his chair again, never far from my side. Alice gently slid onto the left side
of my bed and they wrapped their arms around me, holding me close, but being careful not to
cause me any pain.

“He’s beautiful, Bella. Just adorable,” Rosalie told me, peering down at the baby.

My baby, I corrected myself. A sudden wave of emotion crashed through my body as that
revelation came to light.

I looked over at her and smiled. “Thanks.”

“He really is. I see a lot of you in him,” Alice piped up.

I laughed. “Oh, I don’t know about that. He has my hair color, maybe, but I see a lot of his
daddy in him,” I said, looking back over toward Edward briefly.

I looked up to see Esme approaching with a bouquet of flowers that she set on my bedside
table. “Congratulations, Bella.” She leaned across Rosalie and kissed my forehead before
making room for Carlisle to sneak in.

His smile was warm and bright, as always. “You gave us all quite a scare,” he said with that
same friendly wink that I had grown accustomed to over the years.

Shrugging, I smiled. “Story of my life, I suppose.”

He laughed. “Yes, well. Any time you want to stop doing that, you just let me know.” He
paused momentarily. “How are you feeling?” he asked, quickly going from my father-in-law
to my doctor.

I smiled. “I’m good. I hurt a little, but I suppose that’s to be expected,” I said, shrugging.

“Let me get you something for the pain.” He turned from me and headed out of the room.

Emmett smiled as he walked toward my bed. “Alright girls, let the men have a turn here.”

Rosalie smiled at me before rolling her eyes. She hugged me tightly before standing up. “You
let me know if you need anything. We’re here for you.”

“Thank you. It means a lot to us,” I told her.

After Alice gave me one final squeeze, Emmett and Jasper each came over to congratulate
and hug me.

Charlie cleared his throat. I looked over at him, my smile still stretching across my face. “So,
what are you going to name him?” he asked.

I looked over at Edward as he sat next to me on the bed, “You didn’t name him?”

“No, I was waiting for you to come back to me.” He pressed his lips softly to mine and my
heart fluttered while my stomach flip-flopped.

I looked down at my son and tried to figure out who this little man would be. “EJ,” I said, my
voice barely above a whisper.

“EJ?” Edward asked, making sure he heard me correctly.

I tilted my head, still looking down at this tiny bundle in my arms and smiled. “Yeah. Edward
Jacob Cullen.” I looked back to Edward, suddenly realizing that I might have been out of line.
“Is that okay?”

He looked at me and then down at our son. A smile broke out across his face as he nodded his
approval. “He’s clearly an EJ.”

I looked up at everyone, smiling. “Guys, we’d like to introduce you all to EJ,” I announced.

I watched as everyone rushed the bed and stood around me. The conversation was flowing.
They were discussing everything from the baby to the latest Mariners game to the upcoming
presidential election.

Carlisle came back into the room with my pain medication. I handed EJ over to a very willing
Esme and took my pills. She sat in the rocking chair to my left and I watched in silence as she
rocked him back and forth and sang a lullaby, her voice beautiful and so soothing.

I reclined back onto the bed and relaxed into Edward. He leaned forward and kissed my
forehead again. “Do you want me to ask them to leave?” he whispered.

My eyes closed and I shook my head. “Mmmm. No. I want them all to stay.”

Edward chuckled softly. “Love, you’re falling asleep.”

A yawn broke free and my head rested on his chest. “That’s okay.”

Before I knew it, I had fallen into a peaceful sleep.

***

I pulled my hair up into a ponytail and fastened it with an elastic. From the washroom of my
private hospital room I could hear EJ begin to fuss. I was about to turn to leave, when I heard
Edward’s soft, velvet voice enter the room.

“Hush now, little man,” he cooed. I exited the washroom, somewhat slowly still, and stood
just outside the door as I watched Edward lift EJ out of the bassinet. He cradled him close to
his body and began singing to him.

Edward turned to me and smiled. “You almost ready to go?” he asked.

I took one last look in the bathroom before turning off the light. “You can’t even begin to
imagine just how ready I am to leave this place,” I told him, walking in his direction.

We had been here for two weeks following EJ’s birth. Carlisle and the pediatric team wanted
to make sure he was gaining weight fast enough to be released. Today when they weighed
him he had doubled his birth weight since the day he was born, so we were allowed to go
home.

I sidled up to Edward and kissed him lightly before I made my way to the hospital bed to
finish packing up my bag. I put my folded pajama pants into the bag before zipping it closed.

“Shit,” I whispered.

Edward made his way to the bed. “What is it?” he asked worriedly.

I sat on the bed next to my bag and sighed. “You do realize we have nothing ready for him,
right? I know you haven’t had time to do anything, what with EJ and me being cooped up in
here for the last two weeks and you having to work. There’s been no time.”

Edward smiled. “We’ll figure it out. We’ll make do for tonight and then tomorrow maybe we
will head out to pick up some things.” His lips pressed lightly against my temple and
immediately I felt calm. “But today, when we get home, I want you to just relax.”

I laughed. “Yeah, okay…because that’s bound to happen.”

“I mean it,” he told me firmly. He placed EJ in my arms and stood to grab the brand new car
seat that Charlie had dropped off for us this morning on his way to the station. “Has Carlisle
been by to sign your release papers?”

Edward placed the car seat on the bed beside me as I stood up. “Thankfully, yes. We are free
to go,” I told him. I placed EJ into the seat and strapped him in.

“Alright then. Are we ready?” he asked, taking one final look around the room for any
personal affects that we may have forgotten.

“Definitely,” I said, reaching for the car seat.

Edward snatched up the car seat before I could get my hand around the grip. He then
shouldered my bag and shot me a wink and that crooked half-smile of his. “I told you to relax
today.” He walked out of the room and I followed.

“To be fair, you did say something about being home when I did that,” I chided.

Edward laughed. “Minor technicality,” he shot over his shoulder.

We made our way down the long corridor of the hospital and around the corner into the main
waiting area. The sun was beaming in through the large windows making the large room
appear alive and inviting.

As we stepped out into the brisk November air, I noticed how fresh and clean everything
smelled. It was unusually warm for this time of year, with the sun shining in the clear blue
sky. It was a nice change from the usual grey and cloudy skies that Forks was accustomed to.

Edward opened the back door to a strange black SUV and placed the car seat in the base that
was fastened into the center seat.

“Ummm, Edward? Where’s the Volvo?” I asked him, cocking my right eyebrow.

Edward emerged from the vehicle and smiled at me. “I figured we’d need something a little
bigger. So I traded it in for a newer, bigger SUV. It’s still a Volvo,” he said with a wink.

“Oh,” was all I could say as Edward held the back door open for me to crawl in and sit next to
EJ. I smiled warmly at him and gave him a chaste kiss as I hopped into the back seat.

Edward climbed in behind the steering wheel and started the car. “Alright, last chance. You
ready to go home?” he teased.

“Just drive,” I told him as I fastened my seat belt.

We pulled out of the hospital parking lot and made our way out of Forks and down the
winding country road that led to our house. I didn’t think I ever truly realized just how
breathtakingly beautiful and vibrant the winter foliage was. It always seemed kind of grey to
me, but today the sun seemed to liven everything up.

The car came to a stop at the foot of our front porch and Edward raced around to my side to
open the door for me and grab EJ and our hospital bag. He held my hand as I stepped down
out of the vehicle and then grabbed the car seat.

Once inside the house, Edward set the car seat on the bench in the foyer and I took note that
the table was no longer across from it. I cringed as I remembered trying to brace my falling
body on it, instead pulling it down with me.

Edward looked up at me as he unbuckled EJ and smiled. “I have it being fixed. We needed to
replace the glass top and they preferred to have the actual table so it fit properly. Sam told me
it should be done this week,” he explained.

“Oh,” I whispered as I shrugged off my brown jacket and hung it in the closet.

“Come on, let’s go upstairs and put him down,” Edward suggested.

I nodded and proceeded toward the stairs, with Edward close behind me, carrying EJ. I used
the railing and slowly ascended the stairs. Once we reached the top, I walked to our bedroom
and opened the door. There, next to my side of the bed, was the most beautiful white bassinet.

Edward, still at my side, whispered, “It’s not much, but I figured it was good enough for
tonight.”

I turned to him and stood on the tips of my toes. I placed a soft kiss on his lips. “It’s perfect.
Thank you.”

Edward laid EJ on our bed while I headed to our closet to grab a pair of yoga pants to change
into so I could begin to relax. “Bella?” Edward called out to me.

“Hmmm?” I responded, turning back in his direction.

Edward’s eyes met mine. “Would you mind going into the spare room and grabbing me one
of the blankets so I can wrap him in it before we put him down?”

I closed the closet door, abandoning my initial mission, and turned to exit our bedroom. I
walked the short distance down the hall and opened the door to the room we had designated as
a guest room.

“SURPRISE!”

My heart leaped into my throat and I nearly jumped out of my skin as I noticed my family and
friends all gathered in the room. “What the…?”

Esme was the first to approach me. “Edward told me that you didn’t have the nursery ready
and I wanted to take as much stress off of the two of you as possible. Especially after
everything that’s happened these last few months. I hope you don’t mind,” she said as she
wrapped me up in her strong embrace.

Tears fell from my eyes as I looked around the room. The walls were painted with medium
and sky blue vertical stripes and a chocolate brown pin striping between them on the upper

half while the bottom was covered in white wainscoting. A white chair rail separated the top
from the bottom.

In the far corner sat a beautiful chocolate brown crib with baby blue bedding and a matching
rocking chair. “Esme, it’s beautiful. Thank you so much.” I wrapped my arms around her
again and she welcomed my embrace.

“It wasn’t all me. Everyone chipped in to help,” she told me, motioning her head toward
everyone else.

Carlisle stepped forward and hugged me next. “Welcome home…again,” he joked.

Hearing footsteps behind me, I turned to see Edward grinning like the Cheshire Cat as he
approached the room. I pointed my finger at him and narrowed my eyes in mock annoyance.
“You are so lucky you’re holding the baby right now.”

My focus again shifted to the beautifully decorated room and I laughed as Emmett stepped
toward me. His arms were wrapped around a teddy bear that was almost as big as him and he
had the goofiest grin on his face. It reminded me of a kid on Christmas morning that was
wound up on sugar.

Emmett set the bear down and wrapped his huge arms around me. “Congrats again, Bells. It’s
so good to have you back.”

“Thanks, Em. It’s great to be back, I said.

Charlie hugged me. He didn’t have to say anything; the tears in his eyes spoke volumes. He
had come so close to losing me and I could only imagine the relief he was feeling.

“I love you, daddy,” I whispered as I buried my face into his leather police jacket, pulling him
closer to me. I felt him kiss the top of my head before he released me. We smiled at each
other as I wiped away the new tears that had fallen over my cheeks.

Once I had thanked everyone for the effort they each poured into the nursery, we all headed
downstairs to the great room and enjoyed a cup of tea while EJ slept in his new room. I settled
into the couch next to Edward and he wrapped his arms protectively around me, letting me
know that he wouldn’t allow anything to ever cause harm to me again.

I let out a breath and sat there in awe while my family conversed back and forth about
everything that had happened recently, but more importantly how everything had turned out.

For the first time since that horrible day back in May, when I thought that everything I held
near and dear to me had been lost, I truly felt as though I was on my way back.

I was coming back to life.

CHAPTER TWENTY TWO

BPOV

“Well, everything looks great here. Your incision has healed up nicely,” Carlisle told me as he
moved over to the little table in the corner of the room where my file sat.

I looked across the room at Edward, who seemed extremely uncomfortable. I was sitting on
an examination table at the hospital, having just finished our post-partum checkup. I pulled
the little paper sheet tightly across my waist so it didn’t flutter to the floor should the A/C
kick in. Which would be just my luck.

“How have you been feeling? Any pain at all? Questions? Concerns?” he prodded as he jotted
something in my file.

“I feel great. Better than great, actually. EJ is sleeping in six hour stretches, so I’m well rested
and Edward is an amazing father and helps out with everything,” I said, smiling. “And for the
first time in a really long time, I feel at peace with everything that has happened. Like I can
finally move forward instead of dwelling on all the negativity that plagued my past,” I
explained as I clutched the flimsy excuse for a sheet as if it were my lifeline.

Carlisle smiled up at me from his stool. “That’s great to hear. You seem in good spirits and
you look rested and healthy,” he told me. “So, no questions, then?”

I glanced back over at my husband, who was still sitting as still as a statue. I drew my bottom
lip between my teeth and dropped my head to look at my feet. I took a deep breath, because
the question had to be asked. “What about sex?” I asked, looking up through my eyelashes.

Edward’s head shot up, his cheeks instantly flushing six shades of crimson. “Bella!” he
hissed.

“What?” I asked, smiling at his embarrassment.

Edward looked back and forth from Carlisle to me. “That’s my father,” he said through
clenched teeth, as if I didn’t know.

I laughed. “Aww, that’s cute. You’re all embarrassed.” I looked between him and Carlisle and
smiled. “He’s also my doctor and I’d like to know if we can resume other activities,” I said,
emphasizing that last word in hopes that it would ease his embarrassment a little. It didn’t.

Carlisle chuckled as he looked from Edward to me. “It’s fine. Everything checks out fine. Just
be careful. Don’t press your limits, and if something doesn’t feel right…”

Edward dropped his head into his hands as he rested his elbows on his knees. “Oh for the love
of God,” he mumbled.

I couldn’t help but laugh again. “Okay. Got it,” I said in understanding. “Maybe we should
stop talking about it before he has an aneurism,” I lowered my voice to just above a whisper
so Edward could still hear me.

“That would probably be best,” Carlisle said, giving me a friendly wink. “Alright, I’ll leave
the two of you alone so you can get dressed,” he said as he grabbed my file and left the room,
closing the large mahogany door behind him.

Edward stood and grabbed my jeans before coming to my side at the table and offering me his
hand to help me down. “I can’t believe you did that,” he exclaimed as he shook his head.

I grabbed my pants from his hand in mock anger. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you weren’t
interested in sleeping with me ever again.” I pouted. “That’s fine. I’ve gone this long….” I
pulled my pants up and fastened the button. I turned to grab my bag off of the floor when I
felt his strong hands on my hips.

He enveloped me from behind and rested his chin on my shoulder. “You know that’s not what
I meant. It’s just weird that you asked my dad. Don’t you think we should find you another
doctor?”

I laughed as I turned to face him. I pushed my body into his and wrapped my arms around his
neck as I stood on the tips of my toes so I could kiss him lightly before reasoning with him.
“Your father is the only Doctor in this town with my full medical history. Plus he’s really the
only one I feel comfortable going to when I wind up cracking my head open on a door frame
because I turned the corner too soon.” I cringed at the memory of that epic ER visit. “Or
something equally humiliating.”

Edward sighed, knowing he was defeated. “Fine, but next time could you not talk about sex
while I’m in the room? You may be comfortable with it, but I’m not.”

I stepped back and looked down at EJ, who was fast asleep in his car seat, sucking on his
pacifier, and arched an eyebrow at him. “Um, I’m pretty sure he knows you have sex, Dr.
Cullen.”

Edward smiled that crooked smile I loved so much and backed away in mock surrender.
“Hey. Who said he was mine?’’

My eyes widened and my mouth fell into an open smile as I playfully punched his upper arm.
He laughed as he draped his arm around my shoulder and pulled me into him, placing a kiss
on my forehead. I wrapped my arm around his waist as he leaned down and picked up EJ’s
car seat and we headed for the car.

En route to our home in the woods, we joked and laughed like we hadn’t in what seemed like
ages. I felt like the old Bella again. I was happy and with the man I loved. I felt bad for
putting him through so much misery, both while in the coma and during my recovery when I
was being less than cooperative.

I shook the thoughts from my head. No sense revisiting all that. It’s in the past. I have moved
on.

I turned my body slightly and rested my head on the back of the seat as I looked back and
forth between Edward and EJ’s car seat. I had everything I ever wanted. I was alive and
healthy. I had my husband and my baby. I couldn’t ask for anything more than that.

“So, I was thinking we could go out tonight. I would suggest PA…” My body stiffened at the
mere thought of driving along that highway again anytime soon. Memories of that fateful
night came crashing back through me with an intense rush of anxiety. Edward sensed my
discomfort and placed a reassuring hand on mine. “But, we could go to the little Italian
restaurant here in town again.”

I shook my head, letting out a long breath that I hadn’t even realized I was holding and willed
my body to relax. “No. Let’s go to Port Angeles. It’s something I need to do. I need to
overcome this one last hurdle,” I told him as I steadied my still shaking hands in my lap.

“Are you sure?” he asked.

I smiled at the thought of spending a romantic evening alone with my husband. “I’m sure.
Let’s go home and get ready and we’ll head out in a few hours.”

Edward smiled. “That sounds perfect. Let’s do it,” he said as he practically vibrated in his seat
out of sheer excitement. It was like he was a kid again. I couldn’t help but smile the rest of the
way home.

With EJ fast asleep in his room, we spent the rest of the afternoon relaxing on the patio after
lunch. It was always so peaceful out there. I was especially awe struck when a deer and her
fawn came out to graze on our land.

When four o’ clock rolled around I excused myself to go and get ready for our night out. I
walked up the stairs to our second level, stopping by EJ’s room to check on him only to find
he was still sleeping peacefully.

In that instant I had a thought. I raced into our bedroom and picked up the phone’s slender
handset and dialed.

“Hello?”

“Alice. Would you mind watching EJ tonight? Edward wants to take me to dinner in Port
Angeles and I would love to surprise him with a lavish hotel room,” I excitedly rambled into
the phone.

Alice squealed on the other end of the phone. “Of course we’ll watch him. Do you want us to
just stay there tonight?”

“Would you guys mind?” I asked.

“Nope. Not at all,” she told me. “What time do you want us there?”

“In an hour?” I suggested.

“Sounds good. I’ll let Jasper know and we’ll be there.” We said goodbye and I called the
fanciest hotel I could think of.

Once reservations were made for the nicest suite, I headed into our oversized closet. I started
flipping through the copious amounts of clothing that I had acquired. Alice had gone shopping

for me while Esme and the others were working on the nursery. I really had no need for this
many clothes. She always went a little overboard when it came to shopping.

I pushed aside dress after dress after dress after…Hello…

I pulled the hanger from the rack and looked at the front of the dress, smiling to myself.
“Perfect,” I whispered. I hung the emerald green, knee length dress on the back of the door
and turned to my pitiful shoe collection…which apparently had grown exponentially since I
was hospitalized as well.

There, next to my well worn Chucks and Vans, were several pairs of Jimmy Choos and
Manolo Blahniks. I sighed in disbelief as I grabbed a pair of black strappy Manolos and set
them aside with the dress. I would have to remember to hurt Alice when she arrived here
tonight.

Once my outfit for the evening was chosen, I positioned myself at my vanity in our master
suite. I sat staring into the mirror at my reflection as I tried to decide what needed to be done
in order to even compare to my unnaturally gorgeous husband.

I set to work applying light blue shadows to my eyelids to accentuate my chocolate brown
eyes and really make them sparkle and a light pink gloss to my lips to make them
look…inviting. Once my make-up was done, I curled my hair and left it down. Just how
Edward liked it.

I headed back to the closet and removed the gorgeous green dress from the hanger and slipped
it over my head. I pulled it down and adjusted it before struggling with the zipper. With my
arms bent at odd angles and a lot of grunting, I finally got it zipped up. I picked up my shoes
for the evening and went to the bed and sat on the edge as I slipped them on. The last thing I
needed was to fall and smack my head on the bed frame, landing us in the ER. Nothing was
going to ruin this night for us. We had waited far too long for this.

After examining the finished product of my efforts, I smiled and left the bedroom. I walked
carefully since I was completely out of my comfort zone in these heels. There was a moment,
six feet from the bedroom door, that I debated going back for my black Chucks…but with
Alice coming over she would definitely give me grief over my “fashion faux pas”, as she
would call it.

I reached the top of the staircase and watched as Edward’s breath hitched. It was still hard to
believe that I rendered him breathless.

He came to meet me as I approached the bottom of the stairs and took me by the hand. “Bella,
you look beautiful,” he told me, kissing the back of my hand. I felt my cheeks flush and I
dropped my head in an attempt to hide it from him.

“I’ll go change and get EJ ready,” he said. On cue, the doorbell rang and the door opened
behind him. Alice and Jasper walked in with an overnight bag in tow.

Edward looked at me in shock. “What are they doing here?” he asked.

“I asked them to stay the night to watch EJ. You and I are going to have a night out. Just the
two of us,” I explained.

Edward smiled and kissed me on the cheek before running up the stairs to change. I led Alice
and Jasper to the living room and we sat down.

I heard EJ’s cries as he began to wake up. I stood to go and grab him, but Jasper jumped up
and stopped me.

“I got him Bella,” he told me as he walked out of the room. I sat back down next to Alice.

“Thank you guys again for this. It really means a lot to me,” I told her.

Edward came down the stairs with Jasper right behind him. Alice and I stood up and walked
toward the entry where Edward was grabbing my jacket for me. I took EJ from Jasper and
snuggled him. I inhaled his scent as if I was going to forget it in one single night away from
him.

My chest started to get tight as the anxiety over leaving him for the night overwhelmed me.
Tears fell from my eyes as I kissed the top of his head. I felt Edward’s hands on my shoulders
gently squeezing them.

“Love, we have to go. He’ll be fine. This was your idea remember,” he whispered into my
ear.

I sobbed. “Oh, what the hell do I know?” I asked.

Edward chuckled. “Alice and Jasper have everything under control. We can call them every
hour if you want,” he suggested.

I realized just how insane I was being. I handed him back to Jazz and wiped my eyes. “No,
it’s fine. I’m being silly.”

“Feel free to call as often as you need to. I promise he will be fine, but if you have to call to
have peace of mind, please do,” Jasper told me.

I nodded as Edward helped me into my jacket. I gave EJ one last kiss and thanked Alice and
Jasper again before Edward ushered me out the door and down the wooden steps as we made
our way toward the Volvo. Ever the gentleman, he opened my door for me and helped me in
before rushing to the driver’s side and climbing in.

We drove through the countryside and I basked in the beauty of the trees as the sun set
beyond them. The amber skyline was brushed with shades of yellow and pink and I couldn’t
believe I had never taken the time to notice just how breathtakingly beautiful it was.

When we got to the accident site, my body stiffened and my breathing became erratic. Edward
grasped my hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. He slowed the vehicle until it was barely
crawling along the curve of the road where we lost control so many months ago.

“Are you okay?” Edward asked from beside me. I slowly nodded my reply as my breathing
began to regulate and my chest felt lighter.

“Yeah. I’m good,” I told him, and I was. I had a momentary lapse in the breakthrough I had
thought I made, but we made it through and I was fine. We were fine. I heaved a sigh of relief
and we continued on our way as the Volvo picked up its pace again.

The restaurant was beautiful. It had low lighting and a romantic color scheme throughout. The
hostess, after giving my husband the once over, found us a seat close to the front of the room.
I was going to have a seat when Edward gently took my arm to stop me.

“I was thinking something a little closer to the back would be more intimate for my wife and
me,” he told her. She looked at me, her lips drawn tight, before leading us toward a small
table in the back.

Edward pulled my chair out for me and waited for me to sit before he kissed the top of my
head and took his seat next to me.

We ordered our dinner and discussed anything that wasn’t baby related. This night was for us.
Of course, I couldn’t help it when my thoughts strayed back to EJ. Edward caught me a few
times, asking me if I wanted to call and check in. I assured him I was fine and then apologized
profusely every time.

Edward’s hand covered mine and he smiled that damn crooked smile that always made me
melt. “You have nothing to apologize for. This is completely normal and, to be honest, I’d be
concerned if you weren’t worrying about him.”

I returned his warm smile just before our food arrived. We ate as we laughed and talked about
all the things we still wanted to do around the house. During dinner we found ourselves
flirting a little bit. This is all we ever did anymore because of my recovery. It was frustrating.
Now that we had the okay from Carlisle I was ready to take things a step further.

Throughout the rest of our meal I would periodically run my foot up his leg or give my best
attempt at bedroom eyes. I didn’t know if it was working or even came across as sexy until he
asked for the check before our meal was even finished.

As we drove through Port Angeles I told Edward which hotel I had booked for us. The entire
way to the hotel, Edward kept stealing glances at me as he tried to keep his focus on the
streets. I, however, couldn’t keep my eyes off of him. I was unbearably excited about tonight.
It had been too long since we had been together in this way. Every time he kissed me it sent
fire shooting through every part of my body, but I knew we couldn’t act on it.

Until now.

When we reached the hotel, Edward bolted from the car and raced around to my side of the
door before I could even unbuckle my seat belt. He tossed his keys to the valet as we raced
into the hotel. We stood at the front desk as I checked us in.

Edward’s arms were wrapped around my waist, his head on my shoulder as I spoke with the
desk clerk. Once we had the key card in our possession we walked toward the elevator. The

doors opened and we stepped inside the large empty space. As we stood next to each other
waiting for the doors to close I could feel the energy coming off of his body in waves. I
looked over at him and noticed he was doing the same. His eyes were smoldering beneath his
hooded eye lids. I impulsively grabbed his shirt and pulled his body to mine. He pushed me
up against the wall of the elevator as he attacked my lips passionately.

Our bodies pressed into one another as his hands roamed up my waist and over my chest. I
couldn’t remember the last time we were this…animalistic with one another. He lowered his
mouth to my neck and began kissing and nipping it just above my shoulder. I cried out in
pleasure as his hand traveled back down to grab my thigh and hitch my leg up around his
waist, his erection pressing against me.

We were so lost in the moment that we didn’t notice the elevator doors open until we heard
someone clear their throat loudly. We turned our faces in the direction of the sound and saw a
little old couple standing out in the hall.

Edward released his hold on my leg and it fell, my heel hitting the floor with a heavy thud. I
smoothed my disheveled hair and straightened my dress as Edward grabbed my hand and
pulled me from the elevator.

“Evening,” he said curtly as we walked past the couple. He pulled me down the hallway
quickly as he scanned the numbers on the doors for ours. Once he found it he scanned the
keycard and opened the door. Once inside I shrugged my jacket off and slung it over the back
of the chair in the entry. He slid the “Do Not Disturb” sign on the handle outside the room and
reinforced the locks. He pressed me into the wall and picked up where he left off.

His mouth found my neck as his hands traveled up and under the skirt of my dress. He hooked
his fingers into the sides of my lace thong and slid them down my thighs. I kicked them off as
his hands moved up my back and unzipped the dress. He brought his face up to mine as he
slid the straps of my dress down my shoulders. It fell to the floor in a satin heap at my feet.

My hands were on his waist where I made quick work of the buttons on his pants. I pushed
them and his boxer briefs to the floor where he stepped out of them. I pulled his shirt up over
his head and stared at his naked body before I pulled him back into me, my tongue tracing his
lips as I tried to deepen this kiss. Edward’s hands travelled to my backside and he lifted me.
My legs encircled his waist as he slowly entered me. His thick shaft filled me completely as I
threw my head back against the wall, moaning my encouragement.

“Fuck, Bella. You feel so good,” he told me as he thrust into me slowly.

I brought my lips back to his and he walked us to the bed. Edward pulled his mouth from
mine, his green eyes shining with excitement, and he lowered our joined bodies to the bed. As
we moved together I could feel my body was on the edge of release.

I moved my hips to meet each and every one of his gentle thrusts and could feel my walls
begin to tighten around him. I gripped his tight ass and pulled him deeper inside of me.

“Shit, Edward. I’m so close. Come with me,” I gasped against his mouth. His slick body
moved above mine as he slammed himself into me repeatedly. My legs tightened around him
as my orgasm rocked through my body and we cried out as we reached our climax together.

His sweaty body collapsed on top of mine as we lay there, catching our breath. My legs were
trembling with the aftershock of pleasure that was rippling through me.

Edward kissed my shoulder gently as he laid above me. “I love you so much,” he told me
quietly.

“I love you, too,” I replied as he looked up into my eyes. There was a peace behind the look
he was giving me; a peace I didn’t think I had ever seen before. Not even after I first woke up.

It was then that I realized that this was never just about me learning to live again, but about
him as well. If Edward were to have lost me, the world would have lost Edward. Maybe not in
the physical sense, but my death would have broken him. So my recovery was his recovery,
too. We were in this together, every step of the way.

Edward lifted my body slightly to remove the quilt from under me so he could cover our
chilling bodies. He pulled my body closer to his and held me as my head rested on his chest. I
listened to the hypnotic sound of his heart as I lightly traced my fingers along his chest.

I sighed in contentment and closed my eyes. This was the beginning of a new journey for us.
The past months were just one big wakeup call for both of us to start living again.

Life had so much more in store for us.

***THE END***