5-Minute Chemistry
5-Minute Chemistry
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 The Inner Game of
 The Proven Formula
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2 ©Sinns of Attraction 2011
Table of Contents
INTRODUCTION ....................................................................................... 4
THE INNER GAME OF CHEMISTRY ............................................................. 5
What is Social Comfort? ........................................................................................................................ 6
When Does Social Comfort Happen?.................................................................................................... 8
Breaking Social Comfort ...................................................................................................................... 10
Attraction ............................................................................................................................................ 14
The Four Characteristics of Attraction................................................................................................ 15
Creating Likeness................................................................................................................................. 18
The Three Subjects for Creating Likeness ........................................................................................... 20
Section Recap: ..................................................................................................................................... 22
Exercise No1: Creating Natural Chemistry......................................................................................... 23
CONCLUSION ......................................................................................... 24
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INTRODUCTION
Hi, I'm Jon Sinn. First and foremost, I want to welcome you and thank you
for making the decision to invest in yourself by taking place in the 5-Minute
Chemistry Program.
This program is going to teach you how to never run out of things to say
ever again, as well as how to create instant chemistry with any woman
anywhere.
It's so exciting! 5-Minute Chemistry is literally going to change your life!
What is Chemistry? Chemistry is what happens when you meet a woman,
and everything just feels right. Have you ever had it happen where you were
introduced to a girl, or you met a girl randomly, and you just hit it off and
everything you said seemed to be exactly what she wants to hear and
everything she says is exactly what you're looking for?
This is what happens when you find yourself effortlessly connecting with the
woman you're attracted to and compatible with all at the same time. Chemistry
works at a little bit of a higher level, because chemistry brings in the idea of
compatibility.
Anyone out there can teach you how to meet women that you have nothing
in common with, and lie or misrepresent yourself in order to get her into bed.
But what we are talking about here is real chemistry. It's creating this feeling
that the two of you are together and compatible very, very quickly.
Today I m going to teach you everything you ever wanted to know about
chemistry.
In this e-book we will break down the inner game of chemistry. This means
the science, the actual science behind what creates this feeling that I've just
described. This feeling of effortlessly making a connection; effortlessly and
easily getting along and having these great conversations that go forever.
I know a lot of you have emailed me over the years, saying,  I really am
struggling with getting out there to talk to women because I just run out of things
to say. I started the conversation and then it just trails off and I end up feeling
even worse about myself than I did before . That will be a thing of the past very,
very soon.
There is a very simple formula for chemistry, and once you learn it, and you
learn the tactics and techniques to create it, you will be able to create it at will
anytime you want. Let s get started!
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THE INNER GAME OF CHEMISTRY
So, what is the inner game of chemistry? In talking about the inner game of
chemistry I'm talking about understanding the scientific process that creates
the seemingly random feeling.
For most guys, getting chemistry with a woman is a numbers game. It's a
matter of approaching enough women until you run into the type of woman who
naturally is into you, and then hopefully you don t mess it up. But, when you find
that woman, one out of ten, or one out of a hundred, or whatever, and you have
this feeling, there is actually something systematic and scientific going on.
There is a formula, so to speak, for chemistry and a way to consistently
create that feeling over and over and over again whether or not you have
anything in common with the woman. Because it all comes down to a few
different elements, a few different emotions, and in this section I'm going to
break down what creates chemistry, and teach you why it works the way it
does.
I said, it's very, very exciting if you ve ever worried about having
conversations, especially if you ve ever worried about running out of things to
say. If you ve ever felt like you end up in a friend zone a lot, this course is going
to do a lot for you.
I've talked around this three-step formula for chemistry quite a little bit, but I
want to now get into it and explain first why we call the course 5-Minute
Chemistry. The reason we call the course 5-Minute Chemistry is because, like
in chemistry, there is a reliable and repeatable formula for creating chemistry
with a woman.
The same way that two hydrogen plus one oxygen equal water, we have a
formula that I'm about reveal and walk through with you in great detail that will
create chemistry with a woman, that will create that feeling of effortlessly
connecting, and having those amazing conversations. So if you are ready, I will
now reveal the formula.
Chemistry equals this feeling that you ve known the person forever, that you
have a million things in common, that the two of you feel like you ve known
each other all along and are very alike. It is caused by social comfort, which we
are going to talk about.
Social comfort is making people comfortable. It's basically, not creeping
people out. A good definition of social comfort is to just not creep people out;
not do anything that makes you weird. Plus attraction attraction is a part of
chemistry, absolutely.
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There are some things we need to do to build attraction in order to get
chemistry going on. Chemistry is not felt without that attraction. Attraction is one
of the elements: If a girl is comfortable with you, she's attracted to you.
And lastly, we add in likeness. And likeness we are going to hold off on
explaining a little bit because I know some of my competitors are reading this
section and they are probably thinking,  What the hell is that? I've never heard
of this before. And I want you to wait a little bit longer to know how much more
advanced my teaching is than yours.
So now what I want to do is, I want to break down this formula and show you
how it works. Show you what's going on at an equation-based level, how all
these things combine together. And we are going to talk about each one of
these individual pieces of this equation social comfort, attraction and likeness.
WHAT IS SOCIAL COMFORT?
It's all about making people comfortable with you. This is something that a lot
of the pickup stuff does without realizing it.
If you look at opinion openers, the goal of an opinion opener is to get people
talking to you, to get women reacting to you socially without putting any
pressure on.
Without saying,  Hey, I think you're hot. Or,  Hi, my name is... , and having
the expectation that this is a pick up. The great thing about opinion openers is
that they're socially neutral. The whole goal of social comfort is to be neutral. It's
not to be aloof or rude. It's not to be cool. It's not to be anything other than
friendly and neutral.
You are being nice, you're talking, you're a talkative person, but you're not
putting any pressure on them. You're not telling her you like her, you're not
putting any expectations on her. You're not expecting her to talk to you all night.
And the reason that social comfort is so important is that attraction cannot exist
without comfort.
I have a lot of analogies that I like to use for this one of them is a vacuum
and a flame. If you have a flame, attraction is similar to a flame, right? It sparks
up very quickly, it can get out of control, and make people do crazy things they
never really fully intended to do. It can make crazy things happen. But if you put
a flame in a vacuum, and you take away the oxygen, then the flame eventually
goes out. And so the thing about attraction in its relationship to comfort is that,
without that oxygen, without that social comfort, the flame can't exist.
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Another way to think about it is this. Years ago, I was in London and I was
walking out of a club and I saw a really hot girl and she was down this shady
alley. She was saying,  Come down this alley, come talk to me . And I said,
 No, come talk to me out here . And she was saying,  No, no, no, come down
here , and I don t know if it was sinister or not, but I never went down because I
didn t feel safe.
And it made me think that unless you feel safe, unless you feel comfortable,
that even if you're attracted, it won't work because safety, comfort, is our first
priority. That s one of the reasons people say,  Don t talk to strangers .
It's one of the reasons people are hesitant early on, because they're not
comfortable. They're being pushed out of their comfort zone, and so when we
approach someone, our goal is to get them back in their comfort zone as
quickly as possible, to get them into having the conversation.
The goal of social comfort is basically to get people more comfortable having
the conversation than they are not having the conversation. They don t need to
love you; they don t need to be attracted. They just need to want to keep talking
to you.
Here is where I have to make my public service announcement. All social
skills are not created equal. A lot of the times when I'm talking about social
comfort, I'm talking about basic social skills. Things that sound very simple or
simplistic, but are different when you are approaching a stranger, like when
you're on a sales call, or with your friends.
So, a lot of the time, when I do phone coaching with my private coaching
clients, I have to break this down to them. And these guys are really successful.
And on boot camps that I used to do, guys are like,  I'm really good at sales , or
 I have a lot of friends , or  I'm really outgoing . All those things might be true,
but it doesn t mean you know how to build social comfort with a stranger. Just
because you are outgoing and you like talking to people, it doesn t mean those
people necessarily like talking to you, or that those people were necessarily
comfortable when you approached them, or when you were talking to them.
Just because they didn t run away doesn t mean that they were necessarily
comfortable. The same thing with sales; just because someone buys from you,
it could be need they had, rather than the fact that you made them socially
comfortable.
So don t take it personally. Don t ignore the stuff on social comfort because
you have quote/unquote "good social skills". It doesn t mean you're a loser. It
doesn t mean that you suck and that you're not actually outgoing and social. It
just means that you don t have to practice on cold approach.
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Social skills and cold approach are a little bit different. Not a ton different, but
they're just a little bit different. There are these unwritten rules that we have to
be aware of that I'm going to be teaching you in this course.
WHEN DOES SOCIAL COMFORT HAPPEN?
Social comfort happens from the second you finish your opener until the girls
would rather you stay and talk, than leave. So, I don t like to give timeframes,
but in general, social comfort is going to be the first three to five minutes of the
interaction.
So, you are going to meet a girl. You are going to see a girl you want to talk
to. You're going to walk over to her, you're going to start a conversation, and
then assume...no matter what you say, if you say,  Hi, my name is Jon . If you
say,  Hey, I need a quick female opinion on something , the first three to five
minutes, you just want to get her comfortable with the interaction.
Now after that, we are going to start moving forward into attraction. We will
talk about that in a second, but I want to make a brief note here. If you have
been talking to a girl for 10 minutes and they haven't gotten to the point where
it's hooked, and what I'm saying when I talk about hooked is that the girl would
rather you stay and talk to her than leave, meaning she's contributing to the
conversation, she's enjoying herself, she's comfortable, she's got good body
language, the group is embracing you maybe you're not attracted, but they at
least think you are a nice, normal, person.
When I used to teach boot camps, the way I would define social comfort is
this: If you go up and talk to a girl for 5, 10, 15 minutes, and I walk over
afterwards and say,  How would you describe that guy? And they just say,  He
was a nice guy, he's normal. That s social comfort that s fine. That s all you
want in social comfort. You don t need to have them attracted to you. You don t
need to have them wanting to have your babies. You just need to have them
socially comfortable. Because once they re socially comfortable, then you can
start to move forward.
So this is what we call the crossover point. And the crossover point is where
you are going to break the social comfort. Once you ve established social
comfort, it's now time to break it, ironically. And ironically, this is also why
Mystery Method is flawed.
In Mystery Method, you are taught to run your opener, then use the false
time constraint, which is where you say something like,  I have to go in a
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second , and then use a tease, or a neg as they call it negative hit, which in
my opinion, more hardcore than a tease, it's almost an insult.
The problem here is that openers take about 30 seconds, time constraint
takes about 2 seconds, tease takes about a second or two. So it's like 35
seconds of conversation. In 35 seconds, most people are not going to be
comfortable with you. If you have great basics and fundamentals, if you are
good-looking, if you have a lot of social proof, maybe 35 seconds is enough that
you can get away with doing something that disturbs the social comfort. But
what usually happens when you break social comfort too early is that the
people just don t care.
Think about it like this: You walk up to a girl who doesn t want to talk to you.
She didn t approach you, she didn t make eye contact with you, she didn t give
any sort of approach invitations, and she probably just doesn t even know
you're alive. She doesn t hate you, she doesn t think you're a loser, she just
didn t notice you.
You start talking to her, and she still doesn t. She's just neutral, she's not into
the conversation, she's not hooked, she hasn t reached the point where she'd
rather talk to you than not talk to you. And then you insult her, or you do
something that she can take as an insult. You might as well shoot yourself in
the foot with a bazooka, because you can't disqualify someone who is not
interested.
The whole point of Mystery Method is that you disqualify them before they
can disqualify you. But until the girls are committed to the conversation, until
they ve decided that you are in fact someone that they want to talk to, and that
they would rather talk to you than not talk to you, breaking social comfort tactics
like negs is bad because it's the same as if you were talking to a homeless
person and he just called you a loser. You wouldn t really care. You can't
disqualify someone who doesn t like you. You can't make people feel bad about
themselves; if they don t care about your opinion.
The first step is getting to the point where they care about your opinion, and
social comfort is the best way to do that because then they say,  Oh, this
person is cool . Maybe not attractive cool, but you're at least normal and fun to
talk to. So then when you break that social comfort, they actually care, and that
is how you actually can use disqualifiers, negs, teases whatever.
We will talk about the actual ways you do this in a minute, but breaking that
social comfort can only happen once it's already been established. If there is no
social comfort you can't just assume it, you can't just assume the girl wants to
talk to you. Sometimes you might be right, but when you're wrong you're
throwing away perfectly good interactions, and that s really one of my major
problems with Mystery Method.
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So breaking social comfort means simply to do something to upset the social
comfort you ve established. Usually it's done by teasing. When you break social
comfort with someone you have already established that social comfort with,
they respond by chasing the social comfort, which then allows us the time and
attention to begin to focus on attracting her. And this is actually how Mystery
Method would work, except they don t explain it correctly. They shrink the
timeframes down and they don t fill in the space between the tactics. Social
comfort, one of its big points, is that it fills in the stuff between the tactics.
Guys come in with very unrealistic expectations of how this stuff works. They
think they need seven million tactics to get a girl into bed. You need 10 to 12,
tops, but you ve got to be able to fill in the silence between those tactics and
techniques with stuff that isn't weird, that s fun and neutral, and that doesn t
make the girls uncomfortable. And that s a big part of social comfort. But when
you build on social comfort, when the girl thinks,  Oh this guy is cool and the
group thinks,  This guy is cool , and then you break it, then they are going to
chase it.
That s when the thinking turns into,  Okay, everybody likes this guy, he has
just kind of teased me a little bit, but I'll show him  that s where that mindset
comes in, but you can't do that until you first make her comfortable. You can't
get someone to chase something they don t want, and that s really the issue.
BREAKING SOCIAL COMFORT
So once you ve got them hooked, once they're socially comfortable and they
are contributing to the conversation, that s when it's time to break social
comfort. The three most common ways to break social comfort are:
1. Teasing. Teasing is basically a way of competent flirting. When you tease
a girl, you are saying something that, on the surface, is slightly rude or funny at
her expense, but the underlying meaning, the thought, the emotion behind the
sentiment, is  I like you . That s the way you want to think about teasing.
Notice I don t put disqualification on here; disqualification can break social
comfort, but it's a very hit-or-miss technique. You have to be a little more
advanced, whereas teasing, just using a non sequitur tease that doesn t have
anything to do with anything and that doesn t make her feel bad about her
flaws, is a much more effective way of breaking rapport, from my experience.
2. Push-pulls. The second thing is push-pulls. Push-pull is sending mixed
signals; being ambiguous, keeping her on her toes, being unpredictable,
whatever you want to call it; it's the alternating of hot and cold. Push-pull uses a
lot of the apposition of opposites; where you do something that s physically
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warm, like I might hug a girl and tell her I hate her. Or I might push a girl away
and tell her I love her. Or I might compliment a girl and then take the
compliment away with a tease. Push-pull is very, very powerful because there
have been studies done on reward that is not consistent. There is a specific
term for it, but I'm blanking on it.
Basically what happened was, they did an experiment with pigeons. I think it
was Milgram, and he put food in a pigeon container and they had to push the
thing for a food pellet, and when the food pellet came out, the pigeons would
basically just eat until they were full, and then got bored when it came out every
time. When it came out every three times, the pigeons basically sat there all day
pecking at it, because they couldn t figure out how to get it to work.
That s part of why push-pull works, because it's unpredictable. The power of
unpredictable responses is very, very, very powerful. It allows you to really keep
women interested and engaged because they are always thinking of what's
coming next. Be careful, though, when you do push-pull. You don t want to be
too extreme. You will want to basically keep the woman swinging between
validation and de-validation. You don t want to de-validate her too much and
you don t want to validate her too much because then she's going to lose
interest with push-pull.
3. Physical Teasing. And lastly, physical teasing pushing the girl away,
spanking her, slapping her lightly on the hand, flicking her, thumb wrestling,
stuff like that. Fun, light, not heavy, not touching like,  Oh, I'm trying to get into
your pants , but just touching like,  Oh, get out of here . Think about the stuff
you would do with your sister when you were kids, or the rough-housing you
would do with a little girl nothing sexual, nothing groping about it.
Alright, so let's get a little more in-depth and I'll give you some examples. So
teasing like we talked about before, the art of saying something rude, but
communicating,  I like you . It's highly competent flirting. This is the kind of
counter-intuitive stuff that girls really like, and that really shows that you speak
the Insider language of women. So I'll give you a couple of low-caliber teases
that you can always use that are never going to blow up in your face; that are
never going to get you insulted, but that are always going to break that social
comfort a little bit.
The first one is the classic Mystery line.  I can already tell you and I are
never going to get along. You will want to expand that you can, and I'll give you
my expanded version here.  I can already tell, you and I are never going to get
along. You're not going to take my shit; I'm not going to take your shit, like
where is the fun in that? We are going to fight all the time and I'm always going
to win and then you are going to get like really low self-esteem. I just don t want
to do that to you.
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So again,  You and I are never going to get along ,  I can already tell you
and I are never going to get along ,  I can already tell you and I are never going
to get along, we re going to fight all the time, we are too similar . That s a great
line easily the best tease of all time I still use it; learned it from Mystery
seven years ago; still using it today.
The next one you are trouble. You are trouble. If you are feeling a little
bolder, you can say,  You're naughty; you are trouble ,  you are naughty, you
are bad .  You are an issue, you are a problem child . Just the idea that she's
trouble, makes her think you are trouble.
And the last one, which is one of my favorites: This is a pushback line, a
pushback tease. It gives the girl something to push back against, so she
qualifies herself. Teasing, you say  I can already tell, you're too much of a nice
girl for me. You're too nice for me. I would probably corrupt you and have you
down on the track, like, turning tricks and smoking crack cocaine, so you should
run away!
It's not rude. The big thing I think scares guys about teasing is,  I want to be
a nice guy, I don t want to insult women . You don t have to. Teasing is not
about insulting; teasing is about saying,  I like you , in a way that s low-
pressure. In a way that s fun, in a way that makes the girl comfortable.
So we talked about push-pull a little before, but here I want to introduce the
idea of the seesaw. Push-pull is all about balancing the seesaw. If you think
about it, on one side of the seesaw we have teasing and insulting. Like just
basically saying things that are ball busting. If you ve ever bust balls with your
buddies, and you tease them or your family everyone does it to someone,
and on one side we have teasing.
If you tease a girl 100 percent of the time, all you do is tease, and you can
go out and do this. If you're just like,  Yeah, I can already tell you and I are not
going to get along you are such a dork, whoever your last boyfriend was, did
not spank you enough. You are a problem, you are bad, you suck, I hate you,
you're cute  but if you just keep doing that, eventually the girl is going to think
you are an asshole. Some girls may even sleep with you before they think that,
but those girls have a host of psychological issues that we are not going to get
into here.
On the flip side of that, you have complimenting. You just compliment a girl.
If you just say,  Oh, my God, you're so pretty, we have so much in common. I'm
so glad I met you, you're so great, you're so amazing, like you're the coolest girl
ever; I was touched by a rocket ship when I found you , and whatever. The girl
is going to just think you're kind of lame and possibly manipulative because
you've just complimented her too much. She ll think,  Okay, what is it that this
guy wants? , so we want to think about this as balancing.
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Push-pull is where you balance. For every time you tease, you give a
compliment. For every time you compliment, you give a tease. So, for example,
I could say,  You know what, you're really cute. I hate cute girls. You are really
cute compliment. I hate cute girls tease.  You know, you are really smart
and down to earth, I just hope you're not boring. You're really smart and down
to earth compliment. I hope you're not boring tease.
Tell her she's adorable.  I think you are absolutely adorable. It's kind of
gross, leave me alone. Hug her and tell her you hate her, I mentioned that. If
you can switch the physical with the verbal, that s very, very powerful because
then you're communicating on multiple channels, and you're also throwing her
off.
If you can physically reject a girl while telling her you like her, it's extremely,
extremely powerful. Like, for example,  You know what, I kind of like you  and
I push her away a little bit, not hard you're not like shoving the chick, but you
know, you push her away a little bit. You'll find that they come back twice as
hard, like a boomerang, because she's like,  Wait, you like me, why are you
pushing me away , and then now she's going to feel compelled to escalate.
The cool thing about push-pull is that it can make women escalate, because
they want to. They're like,  I know he kind of likes me. I'll just make a move or
something  very powerful.
And lastly use physical teasing. This happens when you specifically,
PLAYFULLY, PLAYFULLY, PLAYFULLY (notice it's capitalized), reject a
woman physically. That s the key to playfully, physically teasing her. There are
a lot of ways to do this, but some common things to do are: putting your arm
around her, then pushing her away.
You know, I used to go out with a guy who had a routine where he would
approach a group of girls and when it was starting to go well, he'd put his arm
around the girl he was interested in and then go,  Hey, do you guys think we
make a good couple? Do we look good together? And inevitably the group
would be like,  Yes you do . And then he d be like,  No, I don t think so , and
push her away. It s a great thing to do a great, great thing to do.
Back turns. Back turns are under-rated. Back turns are old School Mystery
Method, like very, very old school. I don t think anyone really teaches them
anymore, but back turns work, if you are doing them in a playful way.
If I just turn my back on the girl like I'm mad at her, I'm pouting and I'm being
a little bitch, then obviously it's not going to work. But if I'm talking to her, and
I'm like,  Oh, my God, I can't believe you don t eat tacos , and I humph and turn
my back on her like it's obviously playful, she's going to be like,  Oh, come
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back . But it's still going to get the idea that I turned my back on her, it still
breaks that social comfort. I'm still playfully rejecting her which makes her chase
my validation, that s the whole point of breaking rapport I'm sorry, breaking
social comfort I used to call it breaking rapport.
When you break social comfort, the girl feels compelled to chase. The same
thing happens with playfully pushing her, flicking her, bumping her, with your hip
to her hip, play-fighting. One thing I'll sometimes do is grab the girl's hands and
then playfully slap herself in the face. I would be like,  Why are you hitting
yourself? like a big brother.
The kind of fun like picking her up, and putting her down; like patting her on
the head very patronizingly. There is a lot of stuff that you can do. But again, it's
the idea that you are playfully rejecting her physically.
ATTRACTION
Alright, so we ve talked about social comfort. Now let's move on to the
second one in chemistry, which is attraction. Attraction is the feeling of wanting
more of someone or something. Attraction is really nothing more than an
emotion. It's the emotion that says:  I like this, I want more of it .
Attraction is not a choice, that s something that is said a lot in the pickup
community, but rather it's a psychological mechanism that women use to
assess potential partners. That s what's going on. You don t need to understand
the red queen, or sperm wars, or any of that stuff. You don t need to waste your
time reading a ton of evolutionary biology to understand the attraction process
between fish and birds, and read about stuffed grouses and all this bullshit. You
need to understand that attraction is just an emotion. It's just a feeling. It's a
feeling that women use to assess physical partners, to assess potential
partners for sex.
 Does this feel like someone that I want more of, or is this someone I don t
want any of; or is it someone I'm just neutral on. One thing to keep in mind is,
there is no prize for attraction. There is no prize for having the best attraction
game in the world. There is no prize for being better at attraction. Attraction is
just a means to an end; that s why we talk about it as one of the elements here
in creating chemistry. Attraction by itself is not chemistry. Attraction by itself
does not get you laid. Attraction by itself does not get a girl to return your phone
call.
The obsession on attraction in the pickup community, in my opinion, is
strange because attraction is just a tool, it's just a feeling. It's a feeling we need
to make a woman feel, but it is not the be all and end all of everything. So you
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don t want to be attached to creating attraction just for attraction sake.
Sometimes the girl is physically attracted to you and you don t need to do
anything for attraction. So don t feel that you have to run through all the stuff to
do attraction. Understand that it's just a feeling.
Now I want to talk about the four naturally attractive characteristics. There
are four characteristics that cause attraction when you display them, and for the
sake of this course, this is how we are going to deal with attraction.
THE FOUR CHARACTERISTICS OF ATTRACTION
The four characteristics are being fun, being interesting, being masculine
and being confident. So we are going to go through these one by one and I'll
give you a brief overview on them so that when we start to give you tactics in
the third section, you will understand that  okay, this is a fun tactic, this is an
interesting tactic, this is a masculine tactic, this is a confident tactic  because
demonstrating these characteristics, for some guys, they get it right away, and
they're like,  Okay, I'll do those four things and I'm good . For other guys, it's
more difficult.
So let's go over the FOUR characteristics of attraction.
1. BEING FUN
Being fun fun is the number one attraction switch. Fun is just positive
emotions. It's something that is enjoyable. If anything is enjoyable, it's fun. Fun
equals enjoyment. If talking to you and hanging out with you and making out
with you and hooking up is the most fun option for the girl, then Johnny Depp
with a fucking barrelful of cash and unlimited supply of alcohol can't steal that
girl away. Being fun is the ultimate attraction source. Women just want to have
fun. Or girls just want to have fun, like Cindi Lauper singing in the '80s, that s
what they want. They just want to have a good time. They just want to have
positive emotions.
When I think about fun, I think about being a source of positive emotions.
Being that someone that doesn t bring the vibe down. Being that someone that
lifts the girls to another level; that the girl always has a better time when you are
around. She always has a better time when she's talking to you, and every time
she's around your presence, there is a nonstop cycle of good emotions; just
good emotion after good emotion, after good emotion. And if you can do that
value, all of the other stuff that we are going to talk about melts away. If you
can be fun, you can create chemistry and you can get laid. That s the big, big,
big, big secret.
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2. BEING INTERESTING
The second thing, being interesting. One of the issues with the school of pick
up is it suggests that inner game is all game, and that getting into the right
emotional state and then just going out and talking to girls is the way to do it.
They run into an issue with being interesting.
When it comes to approaching strangers, they don t have any social
obligation to talk to you. You don t have friends in common. If you're not part of
the same church, you don t have any potential job offerings for them, nothing
like that. You ve got very, very little in common, so unless you interest them in
addition to being in a good emotional state, they are not going to keep talking to
you. And you have to remember this: that you approached them, they didn t
approach you.
So the burden of being fun and interesting is on you, not on them. That s one
of the reasons that interview pickups don t work. You just don t go out and ask a
girl a bunch of questions, because you're not contributing anything. She doesn t
feel like she's getting to know you, she feels like she's getting a lot of
conversational pressure to keep things going, which she doesn t care about,
because she wasn t that interested in meeting you in the first place.
So you ve got to have things that are interesting to say, and the bar for
interesting is set much lower than you think it is. Your competition is not super-
interesting mother fuckers like myself, it's the  where do you...where are you
from, what do you do, where did you go to college guy. Most guys who
approach women in bars and clubs or on the street, or wherever, just ask a ton
of questions or they try to impress the girl by bragging about stuff.
Those are the two schools of approaching that happen when guys haven't
studied how to meet, attract and seduce women. So we want to be different, we
want to have interesting things to say.
We want to tell her things she hasn t heard before. We want to talk about
things that are interesting to us. One of the keys to being interesting, is being
interested in what you're talking about. The more interested you are in what you
have to say, the easier it's going to be for you to be interesting to women.
You can make almost anything interesting. I have talked to women about the
movie  V for Vendetta for almost an hour and gotten laid. I've talked to girls
about R. Kelly's  Trapped in the Closet, Hip Hopper . I've talked to girls about
kick boxing, boxing and MBA playoffs. Part of being interesting is just having
things that you are interested in and being enthusiastic about what you are
saying. And we will talk about some techniques for that in the third section.
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3. BEING MASCULINE
Alright, the third characteristic that we are going to talk about is being
masculine. This was actually my biggest sticking point among these four tactics.
Women are naturally designed to be attracted to masculine men. Now when
most guys think of a masculine man, they think of some big, steroid ripped,
long-haired Fabio mother fucker, and that s not what I'm talking about when I'm
talking about being masculine. Being masculine doesn t have anything to do
with looks, it doesn t have anything to do with physicality, or anything like that. It
has to do with internal strength.
Women want a man who is internally centered, who has things that are more
important than her, who is able to be a rock in her emotional storm. If you ve
ever heard of the idea of being non-reactive, being non-reactive is an extremely
male characteristic. Women are expected to get emotional. And there is the
stereotype of this hysterical woman who is completely at the whim of her
emotions, but there is something to that. That we want to display that inner
strength, we want to show that we are the rock in her emotional storm. That she
can have her emotions and indulge and we are going to be a calm, controlled,
patient, leader. You know, one of the most important qualities when it comes to
dealing with women, is the ability to lead, and that s a very masculine quality.
You can't ask the girl to lead the interaction. You can't ask the girl to lead the
conversation. You can't ask the girl to lead physically and take you to the
bedroom. You ve got to take control of that and not be afraid to move things
forward and be a leader. It's a very masculine trait, and it's something that
attracts women.
4. BEING CONFIDENT
And lastly, being confident! You ve heard this, I'm sure, in many, many
places, but confidence attracts people. They ve done studies on it. People who
are confident are more successful at everything. It is better to be a little over-
confident, than under-confident, and confidence actually has a formula.
Confidence is something that can be readily designed, and is something that
you can build. And the formula for confidence is not something I came up with,
it's something a friend of mine named Dave said to me years ago in a bar in
New York. And he said,  You know, confidence is easy , and I was like,  Okay,
what's confidence? He said,  The formula for confidence is fear plus survival.
If you find something that you're afraid of, where you have a lack of
confidence, the secret to building confidence is to do it anyway. Is to do it and
not even be successful. Confidence doesn t equal fear plus success; it equals
fear plus survival.
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If you do something that you're afraid of, you survive. You see that it's not
the end of the world. The girl is not going to kill you, she's not going to have her
boyfriend smash you over the head with a glass bottle or wait outside the bar or
club to shoot you like Tupac.
Even if you get embarrassed, even if you get rejected in front of a lot of
people, your world doesn t end. You're not bleeding; you're not going to be on
life support. You will start to build confidence, and then there are things you can
do that can display confidence. There are things that you can do that will make
people think,  Wow, he is a very confident person.
There are ways you can conduct yourself, manners in which you can interact
with people. Things that you can say or do, that display this confidence. But a
lot of people are afraid to do that, because they're afraid they're going to be
judged. But if you're going to be judged anyway, which you are, it's much better
to be judged as too confident.
So the four characteristics to recap are:
·ð Being Fun Being the source of positive emotions.
·ð Being Interesting Having things to say, being a good conversationalist.
All the things, routines& all that crap, falls into being interesting.
·ð Being Masculine Having that masculine core, that purpose, that rock in
the emotional storm.
·ð Being Confident Showing that you are not afraid, weeding that fear out,
showing that you have a plan, you have actions, and you are confident in
your success. Confidence is a belief in yourself, and when you survive
something you're afraid of, you build that belief in yourself.
And when you display these four characteristics fun, interesting,
masculine, confident  you will attract any woman anywhere.
CREATING LIKENESS
And lastly, we come to the final part of our formula: Creating likeness.
So what is likeness? Likeness is the idea that you and the women are very,
very similar. You have things in common. Likeness is all about commonalities,
corollaries. All of these things that exist; if you live in a city and you're in a bar or
club, you probably have more things in common with that girl who is also in the
same city and the same bar and club, than you have with things that are not in
common.
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It's just that most people don t know how to show the otherwise, unseen
conclusions. That s why a lot of the times when you see guys talking to girls,
they will grasp at straws by saying something like,  Oh, you went to college at
USC, did you know Sandra Cohen? or,  Oh, you work for DreamWorks, do you
know Jake Shields? .
I've been reading too much NLA stuff lately, but the way to build likeness is
not by doing those grasping for straws kind of ideas, but instead, by showing
the woman the otherwise unseen commonalities that exist in your city.
Such as restaurants you go to, people you know in common in the context of
the night. People you know in common in the club bartenders. Just knowing
the same bartender creates a likeness; knowing the same promoter creates a
little bit of likeness. Knowing the same door person; knowing the same owner of
a restaurant. Pop culture references create likeness. All of these things create
likeness.
Likeness is the key to chemistry, and no other dating guru is even aware of
this, let alone teaches it. In fact, if you look at all of the classic studies on
attraction, every one of them comes back to likeness.
If you go to basic psychology classes, Psychology 101, Intro to
Psychology even before 101, anything you read in those text books says that
people like those who are like them. We tend to like people that are like us.
The best example of likeness comes in the form of people who share the
same name. They have done several studies, most famously, one at UCLA
where people were 70 times more likely to just like someone who had the same
name as them, or remember someone who had the same name as them, than
there were people who had different names.
So the more you can show the girl that you guys have a similar perspective
 you hang out at similar places, you have similar lives  the more that
chemistry is going to be instantly created, because that s what creates the ah-
ha switch moment. When the woman realizes that you and her have a lot in
common, and that it makes sense for the two of you to hang out, that is the ah-
ha moment. That s why it is much easier to set up a date with a girl when you
have an interest in common.
If both of you like to do karaoke, it's easy to set up a karaoke date. If both of
you like to rollerblade, it's easy to set up a rollerblading date. These little things
make a huge, huge difference. Without likeness, you just have attraction, and
social comfort. Maybe it will work, maybe it won't. With likeness, it works almost
every single time.
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So, likeness is important because it warms the cold approach. A cold
approach, by definition, is cold. It s when you don t have anything in common,
you don t know her, or you don t have any social ties.
There is really no reason for her to even be nice to you, unless you do things
to deserve it. But by showing her you like the same food, you go to the same
clubs, and you know people through one to two degrees of separation, even
famous people, you create likeness.
One of the best tools to create likeness is, discussing famous people in the
news. Like recently, we've had the Royal Wedding; recently we've had Charlie
Sheen. Historically we've had Britney Spears, and all of these people.
So by discussing these things and having a similar opinion with the girl to
which you build likeness, and you stop being a stranger, now the girl can
extrapolate,  Okay, he thinks this about X, Y and Z, he must be this type of a
person . And if she starts to say,  Oh, hey, I'm like that. I like that , and now,
there is chemistry.
THE THREE SUBJECTS FOR CREATING LIKENESS
So there are three magic subjects for creating likeness.
1. Schools, camps, childhood memories, anything in the area.
Don t get outside of your regional references. In the tactics and techniques
section, I'm going to teach you how to build up your stash of regional
references. You must learn what is going on in your area, who the movers and
shakers are, what's hot right now, what's not, what's a secret spot that nobody
knows about.
Especially know about schools. If you are from L.A., like me, I grew up in the
city. If you grew up in your city, then you know about people who went to certain
high schools. Talk about the reputation you had with this school. Talk about
camps that you may have gone to as a kid.
Childhood memories if you grew up in California and you never went to
Santa Monica Pier as a kid, you're fucking weird. There is stuff like this in every
single city; I don t care if you live in fucking bum-fuck Albuquerque. There is
stuff that everyone does that is just the things that you do in the area. The more
you reference those, the more you have likeness.
2. Food
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 Building likeness through liking the same foods, restaurants, diets, etc., is
money. Everybody eats. This is actually the technique I most loathe to give up,
because it's one of my personal favorites, and it's so easy to do. Everybody
eats. Everyone has favorite restaurants. Everyone has a place they think has
the best Chinese food, tacos, burgers, grilled cheese sandwich, whatever. The
more you can talk about that and connect with the girl, the more there is going
to be likeness. And I talk to girls about food a lot. So you can really mine that,
and then it's easy to ask them out, because you can then say,  Oh, you ve got
to go to the Mac & Cheese Truck  pretty easy.
3. Local Celebrities
Every area has local celebrities. They have people who are well known. I
call them the movers and shakers. For some people, it's people in the Chamber
of Commerce. In some cities, it s doctors, or famous business people. In the
club scene, there are promoters and deejays; sometimes celebrity bar people or
door guys.
In the yoga scene, there are celebrated teachers. In the networking scene,
there are organizers. By name-dropping these people that you have in
common, you establish credibility and commonalities that build likeness. I know
people who have probably told you not to namedrop, that it's bad fuck that
it's good.
Namedropping specific people in the right way, which I'll teach you in the
third section, will establish credibility and will show that you are of a certain
social status. And if you and her are of the same social status, then you're on
the same level, then it makes sense that the two of you have chemistry,
because you both have similar life experiences.
Before I actually give you an extra one, I'll give you two extra ones because
I'm fucking awesome; It s called  locals-only spots .
In every town there is a best hamburger or karaoke bar, a running trail, a cup
of coffee; by knowing what some of these places are, especially if you know
them and the girl doesn t, you're building a lot of likeness. If the girl doesn t
know the best karaoke bar you ve ever been to, and she likes karaoke, she's
going to have a lot of chemistry with you.
But even more so if you're talking about the best hamburger in town and the
girl doesn t know what it is. If you are building likeness and you both agree that
somewhere is the best, that s magic commonalities, and magic chemistry, right
there.
POP CULTURE
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 And lastly pop culture. Pop culture is a really, really powerful one because
if you hit the right pop culture commonality, it can create chemistry and
attraction.
I will always remember, on a boot camp in Scottsdale, they had a bar called
Martini Ranch. I was gaming this really, really hot girl, and her two friends were
literally talking shit about me, from like two feet away, and it wasn t going well.
And then I was like,  Alright, I'm going to go home and listen to Trapped in
the Closet, R. Kelly's Hip Hop. And she was like,  Oh, my God, you know
Trapped in the Closet? And from then it was super on, and I ended up going
home with her that night and hanging out with her for a couple months after that
when I came in from out of town; all because of the commonality.
The right pop culture commonality can turn everything around, especially the
more obscure it's. A lot of people like U2, a lot of people like Sublime. Not too
many people like R. Kelly's Trapped in the Closet, or Metalocalypse, or these
more obscure pop culture things, that if people know them, they are really,
really into them.
SECTION RECAP:
So those are five magic subjects for creating likeness, which brings us to the
end of this section. Let s take a look at what we learned:
·ð The inner game of my three-step formula for creating chemistry.
·ð The three-step formula is Chemistry = Social Comfort + Attraction
·ð Chemistry and social comfort, which is basically just not creeping people
out. It's being neutral. It's being friendly. It's getting the conversation to the
point where the girl would rather talk to you than have you leave. We also
defined and explained what social comfort was and breaking social comfort.
The different ways to break social comfort which are: teasing, push-pull, and
physically teasing, which is where you physically reject the girl.
·ð Attraction an attraction is simply a feeling. It's that feeling of,  I like this
person, I want to be around them more, I am interested in this, I want more
of this. But again, remember that attraction is not the be all and end all. Just
because you get attraction doesn t mean you have chemistry; it doesn t
mean you're going to get laid. You can get attraction with most people, it's
just a feeling. It's just a feeling of,  I want more of this. And because it's just
a feeling, it's transient. You can get a girl attracted, but if you don t build the
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likeness, you'll lose the chemistry. You will lose your ability to get chemistry,
because she might become less attracted to you down the line.
·ð The FOUR naturally attractive characteristics which are:
·ð Being fun
·ð Being interesting
·ð Being masculine
·ð Being confident
·ð About likeness likeness is having things in common, warming the cold
approach through commonalities, through knowing someone in common.
Knowing similar places, showing that you and her are on the same level.
Showing that you have things in common and that it only makes sense for
the two of you to get together because she's comfortable, she's attracted
and you have things in common. And now you just need a little bit of
qualification, a little bit of actual rapport, and some physical escalation and
you're off to the races.
EXERCISE NO1: CREATING NATURAL CHEMISTRY
Alright, now, it wouldn t be a  Sinns of Attraction section without an exercise
and some scantily-clad woman working out.
So what I want you to do is a fun exercise. I want you to take 15 minutes, set
a timer if you have to. Think back to a time when you had chemistry with a
woman naturally. I know it has happened for you, where you met a girl and you
just instantly hit it off with her. Where everything that you were saying, she was
into. Everything she was saying you were into. Write it out, write out how it
happened.
If you met her at a party one time & if you were introduced to her at work&
if your sister had a friend who came over when you were in high school and you
just hit it off. Write it out and see if you can fit that situation into the three-step
formula.
See how social comfort happened. If you were introduced by someone,
that s social comfort right there. That s an informal testimonial that you are a
good person, by introducing someone to someone else. You're saying,  You
two people are good I like both of you, meet each other. There is your social
comfort. If she got attracted because she liked your sense of humor and you
both had something in common, you will see your attraction.
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The likeness, see if you can find all of these characteristics and start to see,
 Okay, what does that look like, in the real world what do these three things look
like , because there is always a difference between intellectual understanding,
which is what I'm giving you in these sections, and I know you can see the
value in them. I know you're probably thinking,  Oh, my God, this is has
changed my whole view on approaching and the approaching process , but
there is a difference between intellectual understanding and the real world. So
we want to start to bridge the gap. We want to start to think when we were
successful, even if you didn t sleep with the woman, even if you screwed it up
down the line. You got to that point, you had that natural chemistry think about
it. Think how it fits into this model.
Alright, that s going to wrap up our section. I know that there is a lot of
information in this section, so I want you to make sure that you make me a
personal promise that you're not going to move on to the next section until
you ve done the exercise and you ve really understood the inner game of
chemistry, because from here on in things are going to get more advanced.
In our next section, we will be teaching you how to never ever run out of
things to say, ever again. So it's going to be very tactic-heavy. We are going to
be very focused on ways to keep the conversation going, to keep you from
stalling out, and to help you have conversations to build chemistry.
So I know you are very excited for that, but please, please, please, make
sure you do the exercise, and that you really understand this section before you
move on to the next one. You don t want to go too far too fast, because it will
end up biting you in the butt.
CONCLUSION
Now that you have a better understanding of chemistry, I want you to re-read
this section once more.
This program is designed to get you prepared to approach women. If you're
not going to go out and talk girls, this program is useless. So make sure that
you get out there and start using these techniques right away.
You work on understanding the inner game of chemistry. As you're talking to
girls, think about how it relates to the ideas in your head. Think about those
tactics and never run out of things to say, make sure you're prepared. You
should never run out of things to say ever again, and then you should have a
framework and an idea, especially if you do this exercise of what to say to build
chemistry, to create chemistry in 5 minutes.
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I want to congratulate you and thank you for going through the first part of
the 5-Minute Chemistry Program. I'm very, very proud of this program, and I
hope you get amazing results with it.
If you have questions, or you want to leave us feedback, we really do
appreciate success stories. I know we've gotten some of them from our test
group that we gave this out to before we put it on the market, but it always helps
if you have chemistry stories. If you want to tell us about your success, please
email me at: [e-mail] with the email titled: Success Story
with Chemistry.
I look forward to hearing about all of your success. Get out there, start using
this stuff and congratulate yourself for having the discipline to go through this
and to really work on building these skills.
Thanks, and I'll talk to you very soon.
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