SAY IT

AGAIN

Jasmine Black

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Cover Artist: Reese Dante

Editor: Marilyn Morris

Say It Again © 2010 Jasmine Black

ISBN #

978-1-920468-16-3

All rights reserved.

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This literary work may not be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any

means, including electronic or photographic reproduction, in whole or in part, without express written permission.
All characters and events in this book are fictitious. Any resemblance to actual persons living or dead is strictly
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Chapter One

The evening approached at rapid speed. Too fast for Wade. He took a deep breath and
straightened his tie, trying to gain the confidence to walk out on that stage.

It was the annual fireman‟s charity auction. No big deal. He‟d participated for

the last five years. Some woman would bid, they‟d go to dinner, and maybe she‟d
want sex and maybe she wouldn‟t. But all of that was before he‟d come out of the
closet a month ago. This year he feared no one would bid. Or even worse, people
would boo or throw things at him.

How could he be gay? After all, he was a big, beefy fireman and everyone

knew gay men were fashion designers or hairdressers, right? Well, at least that‟s what
everyone in town had asked him over the last few weeks. His last girlfriend called him
up crying, wanting to know if she had turned him on to men. Why didn‟t people
understand he was just attracted to the same sex? Always had been, but never acted on
it.

“Wade, you‟re up,” the chief‟s wife, Maggie, called to him. Maggie organized

the event every year to raise money for the department and plenty of women showed
up, cash money in hand. “You‟ll do fine. And if no one bids, I will.”

He gave her a kiss on the cheek. “Thank you, Maggie, but I‟m not sure Chief

would be happy about that.”

“Oh, poo. Mrs. Harold‟s already put the word out that she‟s bidding on Eddie.

If he can go out to dinner with another lady for charity, I can spend the evening over
lobster with you.”

Wade laughed but fidgeted with his tie again.
“Stop fussing. You look great.”
The auctioneer looked down at his program. “Next up, we have Wade

Hartman.”

Wade walked up the stairs and stepped into the lights. The crowd grew quiet

and all eyes bore into him. Taking another breath, he walked to the center like every
other year, took off his jacket, and tossed it over his shoulder.

“Standing at six-foot-two-inches with black hair and green eyes, Fireman

Hartman benches two-fifty and runs the mile in five minutes flat.” The auctioneer
looked up from his note cards and cleared his throat. “Let‟s start the bidding at one
hundred. Do I have one hundred?”

Wade forced a smile to charm the crowd, but inside his nerves screamed to run

that mile now, out the door, down the street, and never come back. Last year they‟d
started the bid at two hundred and he went for six hundred.

No one spoke up.

He looked over at Maggie who gave him a reassuring thumbs up. Turning back

to the crowd, he walked down the catwalk and modeled for all it was worth, smiling
and winking at the women.

“How about seventy-five? Can I get seventy-five?”
Anger began to boil in his veins. For Christ‟s sake it was for charity, after all.

The men needed new equipment for their safety. And he did risk his life for these
people every day.

The auctioneer cleared his throat again and frowned. “Fifty? Come on, people.”
Maggie appeared at the side of the stage, mouth open, about to speak when a

voice boomed from the crowd. “One thousand!”

The crowd oohed, and he scanned to see who had bid.
“Could you say that again?” The auctioneer strained to find the bidder.
A man, decked out in an Armani suit, light brown hair, tall, with broad

shoulders, stepped forward and lifted his number. “One thousand dollars.”

Jared?
He‟d met Jared a couple of years ago on the golf course. They‟d hit it off from

the beginning and had been playing a round every Tuesday ever since. Only, Jared
hadn‟t shown up lately.

Wade nodded his thanks to Jared and stepped off the stage.
“See, I told you someone would bid. And wow, what a price.” Maggie patted

his arm as he passed her.

Yeah, a pity bid. He should be happy Jared saved his ass out there, but he

wasn‟t. He‟d wanted a real date tonight. A date with a man. Someone who might
understand and appreciate him. However, he‟d gotten a friend to take pity on him. A
rich friend, but a friend nonetheless.

Oh, Jared was hot but straight. The best he could hope for was food and a beer

and then another lonely night.

He watched a few more bids and then made his way to the bar. In case Jared

backed out on buying dinner, he‟d have his beer anyway.

“A beer, please.” He tapped the bar and nodded to the bartender.
The man placed a longneck bottle in front of him and opened the top. The cap

hit the bar with a clink.

“Thank you.” He tipped the bottle and drunk half in one swig. Why had he

come out of the closet before the auction? He could have suffered through one more
date with a woman. They weren‟t that bad to have around for company. But he‟d
hoped someone out there would step up and let him know they wanted to date him.
Plenty of the guys had gotten hitched from the charity event. Most just had wild sex.
Still, he yearned to be happy and had thought…what did he think? Mr. Right would
swoop in and declare his love for him?

Finishing off his beer in a couple more drinks, he spun the cap on the bar.

Disappointment settled in his stomach. The evening wasn‟t turning out how he wanted
it to. Maybe he should grab a cab and call it a night.

“There you are. Are you trying to duck me?” Jared sat down on the stool next

to him.

Wade glanced at him, breathing in the smell of cologne. His skin tingled

thinking about how his night might have turned out if Jared had really purchased a
date with him. “No. I thought you were ducking me.”

Jared laughed. “I just wrote a check for a thousand dollars. I expect you to put

out.”

“Ha ha. Very funny.” He spun the cap again, not ready to forgive being stood

up on the course.

“Well, at the very least, you owe me a dinner.”
Wade quirked a brow. “Are you serious? You‟re buying me dinner?”
“I did just buy the pleasure of your company for the evening. You are hungry,

aren‟t you?”

“That I guess you did. All right, yeah, I‟m starving.”
“Then let‟s get out of here.” Jared didn‟t wait for an answer as he made his way

out the door.

The man was the CEO of his own company and used to getting his way. Rich,

powerful, and hot. The man had women lined up, throwing themselves at him. Wade
wasn‟t sure they had anything in common other than golf, but he took pride in the fact
that every Tuesday he beat the powerful Jared Kessler by a few strokes. He‟d dreamed
of him a few times as he‟d stroked himself at home after those Tuesday outings.

Rain poured as they stood under the awning to the hotel. “Where‟s the „vet?”
“I didn‟t drive it tonight.”
“Oh.” He‟d hoped to get to ride in it. Jared knew cars, and they were his toys.
“Don‟t be disappointed. I rented a limo.” Just then a black, stretch Hummer

pulled up to them and stopped. Jared opened the door. “After you.”

Wade ducked inside and stretched out on a couch. Sweet ride. A flat screen TV,

leather seating, and mini-bar.

“You approve?” Jared asked as he settled on the couch opposite him.
“Yeah, it‟ll do. So where‟re we going?” Wade glanced around, trying to keep

his gaze from lingering on the handsome businessman.

“Some place nice and quiet. Away from the crowd.”
“I see.” Somewhere where no one would recognize them. People might begin

to talk about Jared with a fag. Anger boiled inside Wade again. Why couldn‟t his
friends stand beside him in this? It wasn‟t like he had hit on any of them or stared too
long in the showers. Maybe he had stared a bit too long at Jared when he‟d bent over
on the course. Or the way his muscles flexed with each stroke he took. But Wade
knew the boundaries and he‟d never crossed them.

They rode in silence most of the way besides the TV turned on low tuned to the

sports channel. Rain continued to pour, and with the tinted windows, he could hardly
make out the town to know which direction they were headed. Jared must have really
been taking him to some out of the way place, because it took forever.

The silence grew deafening. He faced the screen, but watched Jared out the

corner of his eye. He‟d never seen him dressed in a suit, and it turned him on more
than normal. The air grew hot as he fought his attraction. He couldn‟t say or do
anything about it, though. Jared hadn‟t talked to him in a month, and he didn‟t want to
scare him away. He missed his golf buddy. Jared should know they could be friends
without any funny business.

Why did guys get so weirded out over it, anyway? Like Donald at the station.

He‟d taken Wade aside and threatened if he ever saw him looking at him in any way,
he‟d beat the crap out of him. Not that Wade was scared; he could kick his ass in a
heartbeat, but the nerve of that guy! He‟d made it perfectly clear to Donald that fat,
hairy, and overly sweaty was not his type. Not to mention ugly. Some of the guys had
laughed at Donald and that just made him madder. Oh, well, Wade didn‟t give a fuck
what Donald thought. They never had been pals anyway. But Jared…he did care.

They made a turn and Wade made out the shape of a gate as they passed

through it. When the Hummer stopped and they exited, they were in front of the
biggest house Wade had ever seen. It wasn‟t a mansion per se, but close enough.

“You brought me to your house?”
“Yeah.” Jared dashed for the front door. “Come on before you get soaked.” He

called out from the doorway.

Wade shook his head as he sprinted after him. Someplace quiet, my

ass. Someplace where no one at all will see. Maybe Jared needed some time. It had
taken Wade thirty-two years to tell his secret. Well, more like seventeen since he
didn‟t discover it himself until he was fifteen. He could let things go for a while.

He stepped inside the foyer. A grand, oak staircase swept up to the second

story, branching out into two; one to the east and one to the west. A massive, crystal
chandelier hung from the cathedral ceiling, and a Persian rug in browns, greens, and
golden hues covered the marble floor.

Wade‟s gaze darted around, taking in everything he could.
“You like?”
“It‟s all right, if you like flashy.” He tried to play it cool and hoped Jared didn‟t

see the envy seething inside. Or the embarrassment over his little apartment. Firemen
didn‟t rake in enough cash to rent a room at a hotel as grand as this place.

Jared laughed. “Come on.”
They walked through a living room decorated in masculine tones, leather

seating, and a massive, stone fireplace. Jared didn‟t stop to let him take in the view,
but continued to walk into the dining room. The huge table that could seat twelve was

set for two, complete with steak dinners. The whole works: Salad, bread, veggies, and
wine.

“Wow. When did you do all this?”
Jared sat down and grabbed his napkin. “I called my cook from the hotel and

had her toss it together.”

“Right. How nice to just have all this stuff lying around.” Wade sat and dug

into his food.

“All right. You got me. I confess. I planned on spending my thousand dollars

on a lovely fireman and spending the evening back here.” Jared looked down at his
plate, his voice solemn.

“Well, you could have waited for Raine or Linda. They hadn‟t gone on the

stage yet.”

“And what? Miss out on an evening with your pleasant demeanor and all this

interesting conversation?”

“I‟m sorry.” He tossed his napkin down, unbuttoned his jacket, and slumped in

his chair. “I just had high hopes for tonight. I mean, I was nervous, but I still had
hopes.”

“Hopes for what? Did you expect a bidding war over you like last year?”
“Well, maybe…yeah. Why not? It‟s still a charity function.”
“Yes, and did you stop to think that those women who fought over you last year

had hopes of their own? Hopes to get laid by the handsome, single, fireman, Wade
Hartman. Only this year they knew better. So they saved their money and bid on
someone else with the same hopes of getting laid this year.”

He‟d really dreamed of having a bidding war from other handsome men. “Did

you ever think that I wanted sex tonight, too? Or at least a blow job out of the deal?”

Jared frowned. “I‟m sorry I ruined your night. I didn‟t know you had someone

in mind to bid. Maybe I shouldn‟t have come in waving my check around.”

“Ah, Christ. No, I‟m sorry. You saved my ass up there, so…thank you.”
“You‟re welcome. Now let‟s eat before everything gets cold.”
Tension settled over their meal, and they finished in silence. What was wrong

with him? Every time Jared had tried to be friendly, he‟d about bit his head off.
Maybe Jared was a man who didn‟t know how to apologize. Or maybe he liked to
sweep things under the rug after a certain amount of time passed. They were just golf
partners, and they shared the occasional beer at the nineteenth hole after a round. They
didn‟t know very much about each other.

A few moments later, Wade pushed back from the table. “Wow. That was

wonderful. Please tell your cook I said thank you for me.”

“Sure. Would you like to retire into the den for a cigar and a Scotch?”
After the disastrous ride here and the dinner conversation, Wade figured he‟d

better go home. He might have just enough energy for a hand job if he called a cab
and left soon. “I better get going.”

“But, it‟s still early.” Jared‟s eyes pleaded, and the man had dropped a grand on

his ass tonight.

The least he owed him was an after dinner drink. “All right.”
“Great.” Jared stood. “Just leave everything. The staff will clean up.”
Wade followed Jared back through the foyer to the other side of the house into

another masculine decorated room. By the looks of things, the thirty-five-year-old had
never been married, or if he had, all traces of femininity had been erased. He was
strong and confident, commanding. Wade would hate to see the inside of a boardroom
with Jared.

“Have a seat.” Jared motioned towards a leather, wingback chair while he

walked over to the built-in oak cabinet and poured two glasses. He slammed one
down and handed the other one to Wade.

“Is there something wrong?” Wade took off his jacket, unbuttoned his vest, and

loosened his tie.

“No. Why would you ask?” Jared‟s voice cracked as he poured himself another

drink.

“Because you had two glasses of wine with dinner, you just downed a Scotch,

and you‟re about to have another.” He‟d never seen Jared so unnerved.

“Ah, yes, so the great Jared Kessler has to have liquid courage every now and

then.”

Courage to be in the same room with me. He was a shark in the real estate

game, but he couldn‟t have a drink with his friend after said friend admitted to liking
men. “Just tell me why.”

“I don‟t know. I guess it helps build my confidence.” Jared tugged at his jacket

and sat down in the chair opposite him.

“I meant…why did you stand me up for the last four weeks and then save me

from embarrassment tonight?”

“I wasn‟t sure what to do. How to behave around you. I‟m sorry. When I saw

the article in the paper about how this year the annual fireman‟s auction would feature
a gay man, well I freaked a bit. I needed some time to collect my thoughts.” Jared
crossed and uncrossed his legs, took another drink. “I know I ruined your night and
that I‟m not the date you were looking for tonight, but…” He ran his fingers around
the rim of his glass, hand trembling. “I‟d like to make your wish come true.”

“What? What are you blabbering about?” Wade reached over to take Jared‟s

drink. “I think you‟ve had enough for the evening.”

Jared grabbed his hand. “No. What I‟m trying to say is…I‟d like to give you

that blow job.” Jared stared him dead in the eyes. “I want to pleasure you, Wade.”

Wade swallowed hard. Was he serious? Did Jared really want him? Had he

really bought a date with him? A date with the powerful Mr. Kessler. The hot, sexy,
man-of-his-dreams—Jared. Thoughts of the limo, dinner, and Jared‟s confession to

wanting a date with a fireman came rushing back. “Oh, God.” Stunned, Wade dropped
Jared‟s wrist.

“I‟m not what you had hoped for.” Jared hung his head. “Have you ever been

with a man?”

“No, and,” Wade lifted Jared‟s chin, “you are so much more than I had hoped

for, but…you‟re…straight.”

Jared shook his head. “No. I‟m not. Deep down, I‟m not.”
Wade licked his lips. Tonight was his night. And Jared would be his first. His

every desire sat before him, deep brown eyes pleading to be loved. He leaned in and
brushed his lips across Jared‟s.

Strong, soft lips tentatively responded under the pressure of his own. Desire

flared in him like never before. Breathing became difficult, as the air grew stifling.
His cock hardened instantly, something that had never happened before with a
woman. “Damn, Jared. Your lips are perfect.”

Jared reached out, slipped the clasps of his tux pants free, and unzipped the

zipper. “Let me taste you.” Jared tugged on his pants, and Wade lifted his hips,
allowing the pants to slide down to his ankles. Jared knelt before him and licked his
lips, desire flared in his eyes. “God, you‟re big.”

Wade‟s dream guy ran his hands up and down his thighs, caressing the tense

muscles before he licked his shaft. His dick jerked at the soft, strong tongue. Jared
wrapped his lips around his shaft and sucked. Tight. Hot. Wet. Perfect mouth of
Jared‟s.

Fuck, yeah!
Slipping his hands in the short, brown locks, Wade pumped into his mouth. A

dream come true, his cock brushed across Jared‟s throat with each stroke. The man
knew what to do.

“I‟m…not your…first…am I?” He panted as pleasure ripped through him.
Jared looked up at him; the sight of Jared‟s mouth on his cock almost enough to

send him over the edge. “Are you upset about it?”

He ran a finger over the strong jaw wrapped around his shaft. “No. Not at all.”

He threw his head back and groaned. His hands roamed over the hard planes of
Jared‟s broad shoulders. A man. He couldn‟t believe his luck.

Jared licked, sucked, and worked his balls in his hand like a pro. Much more

and he‟d explode in his mouth. He slipped his hands in the brown locks and stilled the
movements. “Stop.”

“What‟s wrong?” Jared sat back on his heels and looked up at him. “Didn‟t you

enjoy?”

“Ah, too much.”
“Then let me finish you.” Jared pumped his hand up the shaft and over the tip

and back down.

Wade trembled as he fought for control. “Stop. Please, I want to be inside you.”

Jared swallowed hard as his eyes widened. “Okay.” He stood and completely

undressed before Wade‟s eyes like a slow, seductive dance. Then he dropped to his
knees again and bent over the second leather chair, his sweet, tight ass in the air.

Wade‟s mouth went dry at the sight, and his cock jerked. But it didn‟t feel right

to him. He wanted his first time to be slow and loving. Heaviness settled in his heart.
“Jared, don‟t you want lubrication? You have some, right?”

“Upstairs in the bedroom.”
Wade ran his hand down the hard muscles in Jared‟s back, rippling under the

fiery hot skin. The man must work out. “Fuck, you‟re sexy as hell. Come on.” He
pulled up his pants and took Jared‟s hand. “Show me the bedroom.”

Jared‟s tight, naked ass led the way upstairs, to the right, and down the massive

hallway with marble floors. They walked through enormous, double doors into
another room decorated with hard woods, leather, and deep tones. Silks covered the
four-poster king sized bed.

Settling on the bed, Jared pointed to the antique armoire and swallowed. Wade

watched the lump in his throat, slowly move down his neck. “In there.”

Jared seemed scared.
Wade stopped. “If you don‟t want to do this, we don‟t have to.”
“It‟s fine,” the deep voice came out in a whisper that had Wade‟s cock back to

full arousal.

He kicked off his shoes and stripped down to his boxer briefs. Then he opened

the armoire. The thing housed a plethora of lubes, lotions, and sex toys. Taken aback,
he picked out a condom and searched through the bottles until he found one
compatible with latex. When he turned around, Jared lay on his stomach face buried in
a pillow.

That uneasy feeling twisted in his stomach again. Maybe Jared hadn‟t really

accepted his own sexuality yet. Lying next to him, he caressed his back, stroked his
hip. “Are you sure about this?”

“Yes. Do what you want with me, Wade. I‟m yours tonight.”
“Then turn over here and kiss me.”
Jared flipped and moved to take Wade in his mouth.
“Not that. Kiss my lips.” His heart dropped. Had someone hurt Jared, or did he

just want to get this over with? His first night with a guy and the man didn‟t seem to
want him.

Their lips brushed, and Wade deliberately took things at a leisurely pace,

licking and nipping, dueling with his tongue in slow, circular movements. His hands
roamed over Jared‟s chest, played with the small patch of curly hair. “You‟re
beautiful.”

“I think you are, too. Exquisite, like a fine antique.”
Wade took Jared‟s cock in his hand and found him hard, long, and thick. He

stroked him a couple of times until Jared moaned, soft and low, almost too quiet to

hear. Flipping the top of the bottle open, he squirted some lube in his palm and
stroked Jared a few more times. The first dick he‟d ever touched besides his own; he
could love it all night long.

Using a little more of the warming liquid, he rimmed Jared‟s anus. The

puckered hole drove him wild with need, made him want to slam inside, but he
wanted Jared to enjoy it too. Taking his time, he made sure Jared was well coated on
the outside as they continued to kiss. He pushed one finger inside. Jared tensed. Wade
pulled his finger out and applied more lube to the tips of his fingers.

“I don‟t want to hurt you. Tell me if I do.” He kissed Jared‟s neck, nipped at his

earlobe.

Jared swallowed. “It‟s fine.”
Wade pulled back and sat on the edge of the bed. He wanted the night to be

special, but Jared seemed uninterested, not responding to any of his touches or words
of endearment.

“Come back. What did I do?” Jared‟s hands caressed his back, shoulders, and

chest from behind him. “I‟ve ruined things for you.”

“No, Jared. I‟m afraid I‟ve ruined them for you.” He spun to examine deep,

brown eyes filled with pain.

“Me? Do you really want me, or would any man do?”
“Is that what you‟re worried about? God, yes, I want you.” He captured his lips,

fast and hungry. He‟d wanted Jared from the first time he saw him standing by the
golf cart when the clubhouse had paired them together. They‟d been full, and singles
had to double up. His heart had flipped at the man‟s beauty.

Jared crawled to his knees and pushed his ass in the air. Wade‟s cock throbbed

in anticipation. He squirted the lube on Jared‟s ass and rubbed, slid a finger inside and
coated him well. He found Jared‟s prostate and massaged it until he felt Jared push
back against him. Then he slipped on the condom and coated it also.

On his knees behind the sweetest ass he‟d ever seen, he rubbed the head of his

cock around the pink, puckered hole. The smell of lube and their arousal—the smell
of hard, ready, male—mingled and about sent him over the edge.

Taking hold of Jared‟s hip, his slipped the tip inside. He moaned and fought to

stay clear headed. “Am I hurting you?”

“No,” Jared whispered.
The muscular, tight ass was relaxed, and he pushed deeper, buried himself in

the sweet heaven. This was what he‟d missed with a woman, the strength and
masculinity he craved. Brawny hips to grip and touch.

He pulled back and thrust again, long and slow strokes. Taking his time, he

explored with his hands. Hips. Ass. Thighs. The whole time, loving Jared with his
cock. He twisted and bent so his dick stayed inside while his lips kissed and caressed
the hard plains of Jared‟s back. Salty from a thin layer of sweat.

He felt tremors rip through Jared. He wanted to give him as much pleasure as

possible. Reaching around, he squeezed Jared‟s sack, gripped his shaft, and stroked.
Jared bucked and gasped. One hand on the small of his back and one pumping his
cock, Wade speed up the pace, fighting for breath. “Oh, yeah. I‟m in heaven. So hot.
So fucking tight.”

Jared whimpered and tensed. Hot liquid gushed over his hand as Jared lost the

battle. “I‟m sorry. God, I couldn‟t stop myself.”

Jared shook and his ass checks clenched, sending Wade to the other side. He

emptied himself into the condom. “Oh, baby.” His eyes closed and white lights
flashed behind his lids. The climax rushed over him and swept him away like he‟d
never had before, more power, more force, and more dirty, raw, pleasure. He pulled
out and sat back on his heels, staring at the most beautiful creature he‟d ever seen.

Only Jared cowered to the headboard, shaking.
“What‟s wrong? Did I hurt you?” He reached out, but Jared flinched.
Biting his lip, Jared fought for breath. “I didn‟t mean to do that, but you made

me.”

“What the fuck?” He jumped off the bed and started to pace. “I didn‟t force you

to do anything. Are you kidding me?” After the most wonderful experience of his life,
Jared was going to accuse him of forced sex. Rape! The man had been willing. Wade
even asked him repeatedly if he wanted to. How could he destroy what they‟d just
shared?

“No, you‟re right. I should‟ve had better control.”
He stopped and fixed him with a cold stare. “Do you regret what you did?”
“Yes. Very much so.”
Hurt, he shook his head. “All right then.” Grabbing his clothes, he dressed in a

huff.

“You‟re leaving now, aren‟t you?” Jared‟s words implied he wanted him to

leave, but his tone said otherwise. He really needed to work out his issues with his
sexuality.

What he wanted to do was crawl in bed and hold Jared through the night. Kiss

him. Caress him. Maybe let Jared have a turn later. But the terror in Jared‟s eyes said
it all. “Yeah, I guess so.”

Jared nodded.
Wade hesitated as he watched the man of his dreams, tears flowing down

Jared‟s cheeks. “What happened here tonight—”

“Is between us. No one will ever know.”
He‟d wanted to discuss what had happened. Not cover it up. “I see.” So much

for starting a loving relationship. Without a backwards glance, he stalked out of the
bedroom and called a cab. Happy to be rid of Jared and his accusing looks.

Chapter Two

Three days had passed and still Jared refused to answer Wade‟s calls. What had
happened between them? He couldn‟t stop thinking about Jared‟s mouth wrapped
around his cock, or Jared‟s tight ass wrapped around his dick. But then came the look
of horror on Jared‟s face and the accusations.

He frowned as he bit into a slice of garlic bread. The buttered carb melted in his

mouth. He‟d work it, the pasta, and his frustrations off later tonight with the guys in
the station‟s gym.

“Mind if I sit down?” Raine dropped her plate on the table next to his and sat

down before he could protest.

“Sure. Help yourself.”
She sprinkled Parmesan cheese on her spaghetti. “Ugh. Pasta and bread. I‟ll be

on the treadmill for two hours tonight, or this shit with go straight to my hips and
thighs.”

“What else besides work out do we have to do?”
“For starters, you could tell me how your date went the other night with that

hottie who dropped a thousand dollars on you.”

“Oh, that.” He acted like he‟d forgotten. “That was an old friend I play golf

with. He felt sorry for me.”

“I bet you two play golf,” Donald yelled out from the isle in the center of the

station‟s kitchen. “I bet you two stroke each other‟s putters.”

“Shut it, Don, or I‟ll shut it for you,” Raine yelled back. “Don‟t worry about

him.”

“I don‟t.” He huffed.
“Well, hey, don‟t get depressed. It‟s hard to find a good man these days.” She

bumped his arm and giggled. “Why don‟t you come with me and Linda and get a
pedicure Thursday. It‟ll be fun hanging out.”

“Damn, Raine, I might be gay, but I‟m still a man.” He shoveled the last of his

pasta in his mouth and chewed. Is this what his life was going to be like from now on,
outings with the girls? What happened to beer at Ernie’s with the guys?

“Such a pity for us girls to lose a man like you from the market.” She grimaced

and shook her head. “Anyway, pedicures feel great. And plenty of guys get them.”

“Yeah, fags,” Donald yelled again.
“Mother fucker, don‟t make me come over there and kick your ass.” He stood,

his chair crashing to the floor. The room grew quiet and the other guys on duty stared.

“Better I fuck someone‟s mother than you fuck someone‟s father.” Donald

stood from his stool as well. “Bring it on. I‟m not scared of a cock sucker.”

“Gentlemen, enough.” The chief came out of his office. “Donald, my office.

Now!”

“Fucker,” Donald mouthed.
“Prick.”
Raine tugged on his T-shirt. “Sit down before you get called in next.”
Slowly, he righted his chair and sat. “I don‟t think I‟ll be going with you on that

outing.”

“Oh, come on. Because of Don? I wanted you to meet my manicurist. Her

brother saw the ad in the paper about the auction, and he wanted to go, but he was out
of town on business and had to miss it. He really wants to go out with you.”

“Really?”
“Believe it or not, you‟re hot.”
He smiled and felt the heat rush to his cheeks. “You never said anything like

that before.”

“Yeah, well, I can now because you‟re safe. Before you might or might not

have rejected me. Or worse, slept with me and never called back. Now I know I‟m
just not your type.”

Somehow he understood the not getting a call back feeling. “You‟re pretty cute

yourself, Raine. Some lucky guy is going to snag you up. How did your date go? I
didn‟t stick around to see who the winning bidder was.”

She frowned. “Terrible. It was Donald.”
“Eeww!”
“My thoughts, exactly.”
They both broke out laughing.
“So what do you say? You want to go out with this guy?”
“A blind date? What do you know about him?”
“His name‟s Travis. He‟s a salesman for some software company. Twenty-

eight. That‟s about all I know, but he was really into you.”

“Maybe.” What could it hurt? Jared had refused to talk to him. Wanted to deny

the time they‟d spent together. He had to meet men somehow. It wasn‟t as easy as
meeting women. “Why not?”

“Great. He‟s in town this weekend, and you‟re off on Saturday. I‟ll call and

arrange it.” Raine grabbed for her phone.

“All right. Saturday at Ernie’s.” He gathered up his dirty dishes.
“Ernie’s? Not that dive.” Raine pouted.
“Miguel’s then, at eight.” And like that, he had a blind date with Travis the

salesman.

* * * *

Saturday night, Wade sat across from a blond-haired, blue-eyed Travis in the

Mexican restaurant. He stood about five-seven and was a bit skinny for his tastes. But
that wasn‟t the problem.

Wade took a long drag of his beer and then dug into his fajita. Travis, on the

other hand, had ordered a margarita and a salad. It was like having a date with a girl.
But, again, that wasn‟t the problem.

“So, I said to this insignificant, fat—and I mean huge—lady behind the

counter, „Lady this software will do more for you than your vibrator.‟ Her mouth
dropped open as if she didn‟t have one or know what one was. And I said, „Don‟t look
at me like that. There isn‟t a man on this planet who‟d tap that.‟”

And that was the problem—his mouth. He just kept on talking. The more he

talked, the more offensive he got. And the more Wade wanted to punch him in said
mouth.

The night dragged on, and he vowed to kill Raine. That was the last time she

was allowed to fix him up.

Miguel’s was hopping and Wade found himself watching the door for

entertainment. Anything to block out the buzz of Travis‟ voice. But in the midst of
door watching, he spotted Jared with a slinky blonde on his arm. Son of a bitch. His
heart dropped at the sight, and jealousy coursed through his veins. That’s my man,
ho.He wanted to claw her eyes out. Okay, that wasn‟t very manly, but what was he
going to do, punch her? He would kill her if he did. And he didn‟t hit
women. Shit!This dating thing was getting complicated.

“Um, hello? Earth to Wade?” Travis buzzed in his ear.
“What? I‟m sorry.” He turned back to Travis and smiled. Let Jared think he

was having a good time. Served him right.

“Someone you know?” Travis nodded at Jared and his date sitting at the bar

having a drink.

“He used to be a friend.”
“A friend or a friend?”
He shook his head. “We played golf together, until the newspaper article. Now

he acts like I don‟t exist.”

“Oh. That kind of person.” Travis reached over and took his hand. Wade

wanted to snatch it back, but just then Jared glanced at them. “Listen, you can‟t worry
about what other people think. I‟ve been out of the closet for ten years now, and
believe me, it wasn‟t easy at first. Your true friends will stick around and the others
will leave. But it gets better. And I‟m happier for it. You have to be you.”

He took a drink and snuck a quick peek at Jared. “You‟re right. I have to do

this for me.” And he had. But raw pain slashed his heart when he thought of never
holding Jared again. He‟d felt right, fit perfect, and knew how to please him. They had
so much more in common than he had thought at first. And they enjoyed each other‟s

company on the course. They were both athletic, loved cars, and apparently liked the
same restaurants. Why couldn‟t they work things out?

His lips tingled with remembrance and his cock stirred. He shifted so he

couldn‟t see Jared, leaned into Travis, and faked interest as the man drank another
margarita.

“You want to get out of here?” Travis asked as he slurped down the last of his

drink.

“I really need to be getting home.”
Travis smiled. “Oh, do you need a ride, sexy?”
“No, I walked. I just live a couple blocks up.” He pulled out his wallet and paid

the bill while Travis left a tip. A nice one at that. At least he was good for something.

“I‟ll walk you.”
Great!
The guy blabbered the entire way home. More about his sales abilities and his

quick talking to make a sale. This man couldn‟t sell a bottle of wine to an alcoholic.

“Well, this is me.” Thank, God! He stood on the stairs leading to his apartment

building. “It‟s been an interesting evening.”

Travis moved in, rose on his tippy-toes, and zeroed in on his lips.
“Whoa. Slow down. I don‟t kiss on the first date.” Lord, now I sound like a

girl.

“Oh. Well. Can I call you sometime?”
Hell, NO! “Yeah, sometime.” He creased his brows. “Good night, then.”
“Night.” Travis waved as he headed back towards the restaurant.
“It‟s about time.” Jared‟s deep voice resonated from the shadows.
“How long have you been standing there?” Wade scratched his head. This was

turning out to be a very draining evening.

“Long enough to hear you shut squeaky down cold. Don‟t kiss on a first date,

my ass.” Jared laughed. The smell of alcohol oozed from his pores, but he looked
damn good in gray slacks and a simple, green button-up shirt.

“You‟ve been drinking.” But I want you, anyway.
Jared stepped closer. “Some. Can I come in?”
Wade punched in the code to the building and walked up the stairs to the

second floor, Jared following. “Where‟s your date?”

“I ditched her when I saw you pay the bill.”
Wade stopped in front of his apartment. “How did you get here so fast?”
“Drove the „vet.”
He unlocked the door and switched on a light. “Sorry it isn‟t much. Not like

your place.” Embarrassment took hold. The eight hundred square foot, one bedroom
apartment would fit in Jared‟s foyer.

“There‟s nothing to apologize for. You work hard for what you have. I‟d never

belittle you for that.”

“Thank you. That means a lot to me.” And it did. More than Jared would ever

know.

He emptied his pockets on the breakfast bar. Jared, only a couple of inches

shorter than himself, slipped behind him and kissed his neck. Tingles slithered over
his skin. Fuck. It felt too good, his hands roaming his back, hips, and ass.

Swallowing, he gathered his nerve and spun on his heels. “Where have you

been? I‟ve called you every day for the past week.”

Jared sighed and stepped back. “I‟m sorry. I had business to attend to.”
“Were you out of town? I called your cell phone.” He gripped Jared‟s wrist and

refused to let him retreat any farther. God help him, he wanted this man in his life and
in his bed. “You could have told me, and I wouldn‟t have had to go out with that
nightmare tonight. Lord, what a fucking jerk. I have a headache from listening to his
shit.”

“I said I was sorry. Can‟t we just make up? I missed you and thought about you

a lot, but I needed to focus on a deal I‟m trying to close. I‟m putting in overtime on
this deal and it‟s almost done. Don‟t be mad at me. I‟ll suck you off.” Jared clamped
his lips over his; ran his fingers through his hair, making his temperature rise.

“You taste like Scotch.”
“I drank it for you. I thought you liked the taste.”
“I like the taste of you.” He grabbed Jared‟s face and kissed him back, hard and

hungry. “I missed you, too. Come on.” He led him to the bedroom. “It‟s not much.”

“It‟s fine. Really.” Jared kicked off his shoes and stripped. Then he worked

Wade‟s buttons on his shirt open until he pushed it to the floor. Hardened hands
explored Wade‟s chest, traced the lines of his muscles. Fingertips skimmed over his
nipples, sending a rush of heat through his body. “You‟re spectacular. Of course, that
prick wanted to sleep with you.” Jared bit his lip, eyes wide. “I‟m sorry. You have the
right to do whatever you want.”

Wade took the moment to do what he wanted—kiss Jared. He swept his lips

softly over his, nipping with his teeth. Jared tugged at his fly on his jeans until they
came undone.

“You want me to suck you?” Jared pushed Wade‟s jeans to the floor.
“No. Get on the bed.”
Jared breathed deep and positioned himself stomach down.
“Damn. Why are you always in such a rush to get your ass fucked? Slow down.

I don‟t have a lot of toys like you, but I do have lube and condoms.”

“Tell me what you want then. I‟m yours tonight. I‟m trying to make things up

to you.”

“Then turn over and let me taste you, baby.” He jumped on the bed, flipped

Jared‟s tight ass over, pinned him down, and locked gazes with him. Their cocks
brushed and his heartbeat sped up. “God, you‟re sexy. I struck gold with you.”
Loosening his grip, he slid down until his mouth was inches from Jared‟s hard shaft.

Wade licked his lips. He‟d never done this before, but he wanted to love Jared with
his mouth.

“Please don‟t.” Jared begged.
“Are you scared I‟m going to hurt you? I mean, I know I‟ve never done this,

but I‟m smart enough not to drag my teeth. Let me try. Please, baby.” He licked a line
from the base to the tip. Wow. Strong and hard, yet silky smooth. Repeating the
action, he swirled his tongue around the ridge of the head. Jared tensed and his
breathing hitched. So he likes it.

After licking a few more times to wet Jared‟s gorgeous cock, he wrapped his

lips around the head and sucked him in deeper. A musky scent mingled with Irish
Spring filled his nostrils and increased his own arousal. He‟d always received before.
Whenever a woman gave him head, he‟d close his eyes and pretend she was a man.
Sometimes he dated women with short hair just to help with his fantasy when he‟d
slide his hands in their locks. But this was different, powerful and heady.

Gripping Jared‟s hips, his strokes grew longer and soon the long cock hit the

back of Wade‟s throat. He brushed the head again and again; each time making sure
his wet tongue slid the length. He wanted to watch Jared‟s face, but found it hard to
do and concentrate on his technique at the same time. Maybe it would become easier
with practice, and he sure as hell wanted to practice on Jared‟s delicious cock.

Jared threaded his fingers through Wade‟s hair and stilled him. “Stop, Wade.

Please, I‟m about to come,” he whispered his plea.

Wade pulled back and looked at Jared. While he‟d moved his hips the slightest

bit, Wade had had no clue the man had enjoyed it except for the increased breathing at
the start. That had been quickly controlled.

“You liked?” Wade smiled and rubbed his hand over Jared‟s muscled thigh.
Jared turned his head and closed his eyes. Then he flipped over and wiggled his

ass in the air. Wade fumbled with the side drawer, grabbing a condom and lube. After
rolling on the protection and preparing it for smooth entry, he went to work on Jared‟s
hole, fingering him until he was good and wet, finding his prostate and tapping it a
few times. “I love your ass,” he whispered the words across the small of his lover‟s
back. “And your strong thighs.”

He sat down on the bed, and drew Jared onto his lap and entered him at the

same time. Seizing his hips, he pumped Jared‟s ass over his dick. “Ah, God.”
Squeezing his eyes shut as the intense gratification took over; he fought to remember
Jared‟s pleasure. The man hadn‟t cried out, sighed, or anything all night. Maybe Wade
wasn‟t as great as a lover as he thought.

Cupping his lover‟s balls, he squeezed and worked his way up to grip his shaft.

As that sweet ass clenched Wade‟s cock, he pumped the long, thick shaft jutting out
between Jared‟s legs. Jared whimpered at the contact. “Do I make you feel good?”

“I‟m going to come, Wade. I can‟t stop.”

As warm liquid squirted over his hand, more cum filled the condom. He cried

out at the simultaneous explosion. Possessiveness and desire coursed through him.
This was his man. His Jared. He wrapped his arms around Jared‟s waist and hugged
him close, drinking in the masculine scent, feeling the rigid plains of stomach muscle.

He wanted to hold him, but Jared wiggled free and his own dick fell limp and

stated. Feeling the tenseness between them, Wade excused himself to clean up and
then brought a warm rag back to the bedroom. “You can use the bathroom if you‟d
like.”

“Yes, thank you.” Head hung, Jared left the room.
Wade pulled the covers back and slid underneath. Unease settled over him.

Something was wrong. Both nights had stated with Jared throwing himself at him and
ended with Jared solemn. Had Wade disappointed him? He‟d come both times. Wade
had made sure to give as much as he took. So why the sad mood?

Jared came back to the bedroom. He glanced between the bed and his clothes.

“I better get going.” Quickly he grabbed for his pants.

“What? Jared.”
Jared stopped and looked at him. “I shouldn‟t have come. It was wrong, but I

couldn‟t stop myself.”

“Are we back to that?” He closed his eyes and took a deep breath to calm his

nerves. “I don‟t want to fight. I‟m tired, and I‟d like you to…to stay.” He threw the
covers back in invitation. “I‟d like to hold you.”

“Seriously?” Jared scoffed.
Pain stabbed at his heart. How could he be so cold and callous after what they‟d

just experienced. Is that what women put up with from men? No wonder they thought
men were all scum. Get their jollies off and disappear.

Hurt, he dropped his head and pulled the covers back up. “Forget it.”
“Wade?” Jared tipped Wade‟s chin. “You were really serious.”
“I wouldn‟t have asked if I didn‟t mean it. But don‟t worry about it.”
“Oh, God. Fuck, I‟m sorry.” He climbed in next to him and kissed him. “I

thought you were joking and the alcohol is wearing off.”

“What does that mean?”
“Nothing, I‟m blabbering.” Jared nestled his head against Wade‟s chest.
He wanted answers, wanted to understand these mood swings of Jared‟s, but he

caved with his gorgeous body cuddled next to him. After all, he had gotten his way.
Jared lay in his bed and had decided to stay through the night. His heart melted as he
wrapped his arm around the most incredible and, at the same time, infuriating man
he‟d ever known. Life was good.

Chapter Three

Wade had fallen asleep with Jared in his arms Saturday night. Drifting off to sleep,
he‟d planned to cook his specialty hangover breakfast and then sit down to a long talk
with Jared. Then maybe they could spend a lazy Sunday together, catch a movie or
something. He didn‟t get a lot of Sundays off, and Jared worked like a slave through
the week: meetings, trips, and dinners.

But when he‟d rolled over Sunday morning, Jared was gone. He‟d searched the

apartment, only to find Jared had completely disappeared.

When he didn‟t show up for golf -- again -- on Tuesday, Wade had become

pissed, spending the next eighteen holes cussing and fussing. No one really cared;
most people did that anyway. One guy had offered him a couple of tips. Another
recognized him from the article and gave him his phone number. If he hadn‟t been so
hung up on Jared, he might have called the guy. But no matter what, he couldn‟t get
Jared out of his mind.

Wade pumped the dumbbell faster, trying to get a better workout, or just let off

some steam. A week and a half had passed with no word from Jared. The weekend
had dragged, but he‟d had to work anyway. They wouldn‟t have been able to see each
other, as he had to live at the station for days at a time.

“Hey, man, you want a spot?” Tom nodded to the workbench.
“Are you offering?”
Tom laughed. “Um…yeah. Why wouldn‟t I?”
He checked the weight and lay down on the bench. “Because no one else has

since I came out. They‟re all afraid of their crotch being too close to my face, like I‟ll
reach up and bite them or something.”

“You never did before.”
“And I‟m not going to start.”
Tom lined the bar up and passed it off to him. He pumped the two hundred and

fifty pounds, working up a good sweat.

Still he couldn‟t stop thinking about Jared. The man had physically invaded his

space, and now he couldn‟t mentally get rid of him. For a moment, he believed the
man had stolen his heart, but that was crazy. Right?

He pressed up one last time, and Tom took the bar.
“Good workout, man.”
“Thanks, Tom.” He sat up and swiped sweat from his brow.
“You looked like you needed it. Something wrong? Guys giving you a hard

time?”

He shook his head. “Not really. No one besides Donald.

“Tom?”
“Yeah?”
“We‟re still friends, right?” He wiped his hands on a towel.
“Of course we are. I‟m not homophobic like Donald. Besides, I‟ve had my

suspicions for years. I‟ve just been busy getting settled in my new place, but you
should come over soon and have a beer. So…” Tom rocked back and forth between
his heels and toes. “How was your date with Mr. Kessler? That man‟s pretty scary.”
He sat down on a second bench.

“It wasn‟t a date. He‟s just an old friend who didn‟t want to see me crash and

burn.”

“Really? Because…I‟ve heard that…he‟s gay. That he dates women, but never

sleeps with them. I was just wondering if it was true. I guess that‟s one untrue rumor.”

“What rumors?” He‟d never heard any, and he‟d known Jared for years.
Everyone knew him. He‟d grown up with his grandfather and inherited the old

man‟s company after he died. They were responsible for half the apartment complexes
on the waterfront. They‟d also either torn down most of the old buildings and erected
new ones or remolded them. Jared alone had created more jobs than the mayor and
governor together.

“That the old man who raised him was crazy and abused him, shut him up in

some big house and home schooled him. They say that‟s why he‟s so cold and
uncaring in his business dealings. He‟s adopted, too. But I guess you know that.”

“Oh, yeah, that crap. You can‟t believe things people say. Jared‟s a good guy.”

He rolled his eyes and hoped Tom didn‟t notice the surprise in his voice. How did I
never hear any of that crap? Had he lived under a rock?

“Well, if you ever need a spot, just ask.”
“Sure thanks.” His heart sank lower than it all ready was. Jared had been cold

towards him outside the bedroom. Come to think of it, he‟d been pretty cold in the
sack too. Maybe Wade needed to be more aggressive with him.

Yes, that’s it.
Jared commanded a room when he walked in. Took charge of things. He

needed a man he could respect. A man who took action. Not someone who pestered
him with phone calls. No, Jared needed more, and Wade was going to show him just
that.

* * * *

Wade straightened his tie and ran his hand through his hair one more time

before he rang the doorbell. Standing on the landing to Jared‟s house, he looked
around. Dusk had settled in, but enough light shone to show off the meticulously
manicured lawns. The enormous drive circled around a stone fountain, and well

tended flowers and bushes lined the outskirts of the drive. He‟d missed so much in the
dark.

Tonight, there were at least half a dozen cars parked around the circle. Jared

must be entertaining. If there was a party, Wade was going to be pissed he hadn‟t been
invited. On the other hand, one part of him hoped he hadn‟t interrupted a business
meeting. The other part of him took it as an opportunity to show aggression, take
action.

The door swung open. An old man in a stiff suit stood on the other side. “May I

help you, sir?”

“Hello. I‟d like to see Ja…Mr. Kessler, please.” He wasn‟t sure how much he

wanted the staff to know right now. After all, their relationship was so very new.

“I‟m sorry, Mr. Kessler is having a business dinner. And since all of his guests

have arrived, you‟re not on the list.”

“You don‟t even know who I am.”
“It doesn‟t matter. Good evening, sir.” The butler turned to shut the door, but

Wade stuck his foot out.

“I‟m not leaving until I see Mr. Kessler, sir.”
“You will remove your foot and leave, now. Mr. Kessler can be reached

through his secretary during normal business hours.”

Like hell I’ll leave. He pushed his way inside and stormed through the foyer to

the living room on his way to the dining room, the butler on his heels.

“You can‟t go in there, sir.”
Before he made it to his destination, Jared appeared in the doorway. “Thank

you, Winston. I‟ll handle it from here.”

“Very well, sir.” Winston sneered at him and stalked off.
“Mr. Hartman. What can I do for you?” Dressed in a black evening suit with

gold and diamond cufflinks, Jared stood tall and proud. His expression was as cold as
stone.

Wade‟s cock stirred. He wanted to strip Jared and fuck him right there. Fuck

him against the wall, on the table, in front of the fireplace. Anywhere. Everywhere.
All night long.

Be strong.
He took a calming breath. “We need to talk.”
“As you can see, I‟m in the middle of a business dinner. And you‟ve given poor

Winston a fright. He‟s retired now and only helps out when I‟m entertaining. I‟m
afraid of what you‟ve done to his heart.” Jared took a few steps closer.

“I know I‟ve interrupted, but we have our own business to discuss that you

seem to be avoiding. And I won‟t be ignored any longer.”

“Perhaps you should call my secretary and schedule an appointment. I‟d be

more than happy to fit you in within the next few weeks.” He dug inside his wallet
and handed him a card.

Wade grabbed it, brushed his fingers across Jared‟s hand as he fixed him with a

stare and slowly took the card. His erection grew from the contact.

Jared flinched.
“Get this loud and clear. I have no intentions of going through your secretary.”

He ripped the card in half, his arousal straining against his zipper. “You willgive me
that meeting. And I‟ll say when and where. Is that clear, Mr. Kessler?”

Jared swallowed hard. Closing his eyes, he hung his head. They were standing

so close, Wade felt Jared‟s breath on his neck.

“Yes, sir,” Jared whispered so only Wade could hear.
Wade‟s heart dropped to his stomach. What the hell? He‟d expected Jared to

fight back, call his bluff. Hoped it would turn him on beyond reason, like it had Wade.
Make plans to see each other tonight. “Jared, what‟s wrong, baby?”

Jared jerked his head up and straightened. “I‟ll tell my secretary to expect your

call. But it won‟t do any good. Our business dealings are over. Forever.” His voiced
boomed so the dinner guest could hear. “Please show yourself out.”

With that, Jared dismissed him as he rejoined his guests.
Damn it! That had been a disaster. The word forever echoed in his head. Had

Jared really just ended things with him? He couldn‟t do that. Could he? How could
he? The urge to drop to his knees and beg forgiveness swept over him hard and fast.

This couldn‟t be happening. He wanted that man. Needed him. Loved

him. What? Loved him? God help me, I do. And he‟d been an ass to him.

Defeated, Wade showed himself out the door and out of Jared‟s life.

Chapter Four

Jared tossed back a Scotch as he moved through his childhood room in the attic. He
choked back the tears forming. It would be so easy to blame them on the dust and
cobwebs covering every surface, but he knew that was a lie.

His heart ached. He wanted to run to Wade‟s apartment, beg forgiveness, and

rest in his strong arms. But he couldn‟t. It was wrong, dirty, nasty, and he had
destroyed Wade‟s life.

Two months ago, the man had been straight. Why didn’t I stay away from

him? Because he couldn‟t. He needed to be close to him like he needed air.

Tuesdays had become like a drug to him, getting a fix of the gorgeous fireman.

Lord, those green eyes turned him to mush, that sexy smile and goatee sent chills
through his body, and that tight ass... Oh, what he wouldn‟t do to slide inside and
make love to it.

He cried out, throwing the glass across the room. “Damn it!” The glass

shattered like his heart.

Taking a minute, he composed himself. This had been his room most of his

childhood. His parents hadn‟t wanted him. By the age of five, he‟d been in fifteen
different homes. Of course, he didn‟t remember, but his grandfather had told him
every chance he got. Told him how lucky he was to have a home there and how no
one else would want such a dirty little boy.

He wasn‟t really his grandfather. Truman Kessler. A multibillionaire who‟d

needed an heir. Said he‟d taken pity on Jared. But Jared was an evil, foul child. That‟s
why his parents had left him.

Evil. The word seemed to scream from the walls. The same walls that heard

him cry himself to sleep at night. Saw the nasty, dirty things that had happened in this
room.

Jared stared at the bed where the old man had rutted on him, night after night,

with no concern for the pain he‟d inflicted. The blood he‟d drawn.

He didn‟t want to be used for sexual pleasure ever again. He wanted love, but

the evil inside him ruined all that was good. Why can’t I just like women?Everything
would be fine if he did. But no, he liked men. And his evil had seeped out and sucked
Wade in like it had his grandfather. It made a man cruel, turned a good heart cold.

Wade! He‟d been nice, charming. But tonight…tonight he‟d been mean and

uncaring. He had to stay away from him. For both of them.

Jared knew he‟d never be able to do that. Not when he loved Wade. Had loved

him for the last year and a half. When he‟d read the article, he‟d frozen, angry at what

he‟d done to Wade. Happy he had a chance with him. Scared of what the future held
for them. Confused.

He was a grown man, for Christ‟s sake. Why did he believe any of the shit that

old pervert had told him? Because he‟d been brainwashed from an early age. And
circumstances had made it hard not to believe. Like all of his grandfather’s friends
taking their turns on him or Wade‟s brashness tonight.

Before long, it‟d turn to cruelty. Jared had half the thought to just let it happen

if he could steal any moment of happiness with Wade. A smile. A kiss. A soft touch.

Wade! Strong and brave. Hot and sexy. A sweet lover.
He looked at the brochure in his hand. A mountain cabin in Colorado. A couple

of phone calls and the two of them could be there this weekend. He‟d take anything
Wade dished out just to feel the fireman‟s arms wrap around him and hold him tight.

He ripped the pamphlet in two like Wade had the card and his heart tonight. He

couldn‟t see him ever again. No matter how much it hurt.

* * * *

Wade sat in the dark corner and waited. The cook hadn‟t been too happy when

he‟d pushed his way in and refused to leave, but she could deal with it. Wade didn‟t
care. Jared would have to come home from his business dinner sometime.

Just then he heard voices and footsteps. The doorknob turned, and the door

swung open.

Jared switched on a light and stared at him. He‟d never seen him looking more

handsome than he did then in his black power suit. Desire swept over him to take him
right there, but they needed to talk first. He couldn‟t let desire take over. Not this time.

Without a word, Jared strolled to the cabinet to pour a drink. “What the fuck?”

He spun and stared at him. He must have caught the glimmer of light off the decanter
of Scotch at Wade‟s feet, because he looked down.

“No alcohol. Not tonight. I want to talk.”
“Well, I don‟t. I‟m tired, and I‟m going to bed. Show yourself out, please.”
In lightning speed, Wade closed the door and blocked Jared‟s way. “I‟m sorry,

Jared. I don‟t know what happened last week. I tried…” He closed his eyes and
searched for the right words. “I tried to show you I could be a man of action. Someone
you could respect. I thought it might turn you on. But I failed terribly.”

“Wade—”
“No. I don‟t understand you, but I can‟t get you out of my mind. You‟re driving

me crazy.” He ran his hand over Jared‟s squared jaw. “You are so beautiful. All I do is
think about being with you.”

“If you let me have a drink, I‟ll do anything you want tonight.” Jared reached

for the fly on Wade‟s pants.

He stilled his hands. “No.”
“All right.” Jared began to unfasten his own fly.
Wade had never seen him look so defeated. “I don‟t want to fool around. I want

to talk.” He started pacing. “Damn it! You‟re up, you‟re down, you‟re all over the
place. One minute you‟re dismissing me and the next you‟re teasing me.

“My life has been turned upside down since the auction, and I can‟t have that.

I‟m losing my concentration at work and that puts lives in danger. Do you understand
that? Do you know what you‟re doing to me? You‟re making me crazy.” His voice
boomed louder than he had intended, but he couldn‟t help it. Jared turned him inside
out to where he couldn‟t think straight, anymore.

Jared slumped down in a chair, elbows on knees, hands cupping his face. A sob

tore from his throat. “I‟m sorry, Wade. I‟m so sorry. I‟ve ruined your life. I‟m dirty,
sick, and evil.” His body shook.

Wade stopped pacing and quirked a brow. “Jared, what are you talking about?”
“You were straight before I met you. But I couldn‟t keep away. I tried really

hard at first. We started playing golf every now and then, but I had to have more. I
had to see you every week. Then when I read the article, I knew how evil I was and
what I had turned you into.” Jared looked up, his eyes and nose red. “But, God, as
wrong as it is, I love you, Wade.”

Wade froze in his spot. Could it be true? Did Jared love him?
“Say something, please,” Jared begged.
“Holy shit. Jared, if you love me, why do you keep pushing me away? I swear,

sometimes I don‟t even think you like me.” He dropped into the second chair, so close
to Jared their knees almost touched.

“What? That‟s crazy. Of course, I like you,” Jared whispered. “You‟re

everything to me.”

“Then why are you so cold to me? You never return my calls. We never spend

time together. You‟re always out with other women. And those things hurt.”

“I need a clear head through the week. I can‟t…I don‟t want to ruin your life,

but I don‟t know how to stay away, either.”

“You‟re not making any sense. You love me, but yet you regret being with me.

And you blame me; say I forced you to have sex. I—”

“I never said that. And I don‟t regret one minute with you. So help me, I know

it‟s wrong, but it‟s the truth.” Tears streamed down his face.

“Fuck it. Your cum was still warm on my hand and you were regretting our

time together, accusing me of forcing you.”

“What? No, Wade. You misunderstood. I was apologizing for…for…I came.”

He bit his lip. “I lost control. Both times, damn it. But you…you touched me, took
time to make it easier for me. You were so tender and loving, and it felt so good. After
everything you did for me, I shamed you.” His words came out gargled and choppy as
his breathing increased. “I reminded you that I was a man. You have no clue how

sorry I am for that. I‟ll let you do whatever you want. Whenever you want from now
on, and I‟ll never lose control again. I just need to be next to you.”

“Oh, baby.” The chair scraped the floor, sliding back as Wade dropped to his

knees before Jared. He laid his head in Jared‟s lap, wrapped his arms around his waist,
and pulled him close. “Who hurt you? I swear, I‟ll kill him.”

“That‟s kind of a moot point.”
Wade looked into heartbreaking, sad, brown eyes. “They‟re true. Oh, no. I

didn‟t want to believe them, but…the old man Kessler locked you in this house and
sexually abused you.”

“From the age of five.”
Wade gasped. “No, baby.” His heart shattered into a million pieces. How could

anyone do such a thing to an innocent child?

“By twelve, I discovered I could get through the pain easier if I used alcohol.”
“He took you raw?” Fucking animal.
“Night after night. He said he‟d never done such a thing before I brought the

evil into this house. I was so evil, I tempted his friends—good men with wives—to
use my body. Two, sometimes three men in the same night would enter my room.
Men didn‟t have to lubricate women, and it proved that I was unnatural. If I enjoyed it
in the least or came, he‟d beat me.”

Wade fought to keep the vomit down. Anger, hurt, disgust all surging through

him. If the man wasn‟t dead already, by God, he‟d find him tonight, slice his balls off,
and put them in a glass case for Jared.

He pulled his lover out of the chair and onto his lap, wrapped his arms around

him, and held tight. “It‟s not your fault, baby. It‟s not your shame. It‟s his.” He wiped
tears streaming from Jared‟s face. “I‟ll never hurt you like that. Ever! You deserve so
much more. We‟ll get you some help.”

Softly, Wade kissed his lips. “I‟m so sorry I was mean to you. Oh,

baby…baby.” His own tears fell, staining his shirt. “I‟ll never order you around again.
And we don‟t have to do anything you‟re not comfortable with.”

“Wade?”
“Yeah, baby.”
“I en…joyed…being with you. You never hurt me once. I was afraid I‟d turn

my sweet Wade into a monster. So I tried to stay away from you. Tried not to
influence you.”

“Ah, for fuck‟s sake. You didn‟t make that scum a monster, and you didn‟t

make me gay. I‟ve known since I was fifteen. That prick adopted you for his sick,
twisted games.” He smothered kisses over Jared‟s face.

“Make love to me, Wade. Please? I want to feel loved like only you can do.”
Wade kissed him, slow and tender. Licking the crease of his lips. Passion flared

between the two of them. His heart swelled with love for Jared. Tonight had to be

perfect. He had to be the best lover he could: kind, patient, and giving. Taking
absolutely nothing. Giving his whole heart and soul.

“Baby? Did he ever hurt you in your bed? The one we made love in?”
Jared shook his head.
“Come on.”
Wade led Jared upstairs to the bedroom. He undressed first this time as Jared

watched. He needed to make him feel safe. Needed to let Jared have total control of
his body. With his clothes in a pile on the floor, Wade climbed onto the bed and
stretched out on his back. “It‟s okay. You aren‟t making me do anything I don‟t want
to do. I want this. I want you.”

Slowly, Jared undressed and climbed on the bed. He automatically moved in to

give Wade head.

“No, honey. You don‟t have to suck me.”
“Then how do I please you? What do I do?” Jared‟s eyes filled with confusion.
“Get a condom and the lubrication.”
Jared nodded and went to the armoire. He paused as his hand shook at the door.
“Baby, do you want me to do it?”
Jared‟s swallow echoed in the large space. Without a word, he opened the door,

grabbed the items, and came back.

“I liked how you touched me, Wade. Are you going to do that now?”
“No. You‟re going to touch me. Put the condom on and get me ready to accept

you.”

Jared‟s eye grew wide. “I‟ve never done that before.”
“Neither have I.”
The rip of the condom package sounded in his ear and turned him hard

instantly. But when Jared fingered his asshole, he moaned. “Ah, God. That feels so
good.” Knees bent, he angled his hips so Jared could reach him better. Once he was
fully coated in the warm liquid, he nodded to Jared. “Make love to me.”

“Don‟t you want to turn over?”
“No. I want to see your face when you cum in my ass. I want you to feel my

cock rub your belly. I want you to know that I‟m a man, and I want to be with you,
another man.”

Jared moved in position and pushed the tip of his dick inside.
Wade‟s eyes closed and he cried out as sheer pleasure took over. “Keep going.”
Jared thrust forward until he filled Wade completely. Silently, he moved in and

out, making sweet love to Wade‟s ass. Every nerve ending in his body tingled and
pulsed, especially the ones in his heart. How could anyone hurt this incredible man?
Intelligent, strong, loving man.

He opened his eyes to see the strain on Jared‟s face. His teeth ripping into the

tender flesh of his bottom lip. A trickle of blood ran down his chin.

Wade grabbed Jared‟s hips and stilled him. “Oh, fuck, baby, let it out. You can

scream, cry, moan, whatever you want. I want to hear your sexy voice. I want to know
you‟re enjoying this as much as I am.”

Jared opened his mouth, a soft moaned escaped.
“Louder. It‟s okay. You can do it.”
“Ahhh.”
“That‟s it, baby.” Wade moved his hips, encouraging his lover forward in their

passion. “You sound so sexy moaning in my ear.”

Jared set the rhythm again. This time he moaned and panted, the husky cries

filled the room. “Ah, Wade. Is this really happening?”

“Yes. Thank God, yes.”
Jared bit his lip again and stopped moving. He fought and wrestled for control.
“Oh, no. You will not do that. Stop listening to those lies in your head and

come for me. I want you to scream out when you shoot your wad in my ass. Scream
for me, baby.”

“Ah, fuck! Wade!” Jared groaned as his body jerked.
The sheer power of his lover‟s orgasm sent him over the edge and he came on

Jared‟s stomach.

Jared‟s eyes went wide, wild fear blazed in the brown depths.
“No. Come here.” Wade pulled him up next to him, held him, and stroked his

hair. “Don‟t go there. Just feel. Feel the wonderful sensations in your body from your
release. Feel how good it is. Good, Jared. Just plain good.”

Tears filled Jared‟s eyes. “I‟m sorry.”
“Hey, look at me.” He turned Jared‟s face. “Don‟t ever apologize for loving

me. I‟ve waited my whole life for this. For you. I want to be with you and only you. I
want to make you feel good always. I love you, Jared.”

“No one‟s ever said that before.”
“Then I‟ll say it again, I love you, forever and ever.”

The End