Rating

7

Qualities
Applicable
Overview
For Beginners

The Most Powerful Woman in the Room Is You

Command an Audience and Sell Your Way to Success

Lydia Fenet | Gallery Books © 2019

Learn how to sell from a Christie’s auctioneer who’s raised half a billion dollars at charity
benefit auctions. Lydia Fenet urges women to prepare, show up and work hard, negotiate
fearlessly for their compensation and build broad, diverse networks to sustain them personally
and professionally. Fenet emphasizes the importance of resilience and integrity as she outlines
ways to make the connections that lead to success (and name drops quite a few of them). She
advocates rigorous time management, a can-do attitude, and a commitment to pursuing and
achieving milestones along a “road map” of lifelong goals.

Take-Aways

• The “Strike” is a signature move that helps you focus, prepare and gain confidence as you make

a pitch or a speech.

• The most effective salesperson is genuine and tells a story that creates a relationship with the

buyer.

• The only person who can ensure that you get paid what you deserve is you, so negotiate.
• At some point, you will fail at something that really matters to you. What you do afterward is

what counts.

• Activating community is a great way to achieve your goals: “Network or die.”
• Public speaking gives you a voice: Prepare thoroughly to convey your vision to an audience.
• To fulfill your goals, have a destination in mind and a road map in hand.
• Effective selling depends on a human connection.
• Cultivate social graces, charm and a strong will to get things done. Sell with integrity.
• Personal confidence and the ability to reach out to and support others are the hallmarks of a

woman in charge of her own life.

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Summary

The “Strike” is a signature move that helps you focus, prepare and gain confidence as

you make a pitch or a speech.

Hard work, preparation and relentless focus are essential to achieving your goals. If you want to
persuade or influence others or make a sale, you need to discover your authentic way of taking
charge and establishing yourself as a person to whom others should pay attention. Your initial
Strike matters, but you must follow up with a clear, compelling “opening line” that demonstrates
your command of the material and the situation.

The most effective salesperson is genuine and tells a story that creates a relationship

with the buyer.

To be persuasive, be yourself and sell as yourself. Potential customers and clients want to hear
a relatable story from an authentic person. They also want to be part of that story. Charm and
humor focus people’s attention. Laughter opens their wallets.

“When you are trying to sell, the human connection – and understanding the objectives of
the person you are selling to – is the piece that can make or break your pitch.”

When you share your true personality, you offer your audience the opportunity to enter into a
relationship with you. Rather than devise some “persona” for your pitch, convey your belief in
yourself and what you’re selling.

The only person who can ensure that you get paid what you deserve is you, so

negotiate.

Being good at your job is no guarantee you’ll be paid what you’re worth. You must fight to get
the compensation you merit. Find out what others in your position earn, get feedback from your
friends and peers about your performance, and go ask for that promotion and raise. You are
responsible for your financial well-being. Learning how to use, save, earn or invest your money is
important. Understanding how money works is a key source of power in business and in life.

“Only when you are confident in yourself and what you want will you have the clarity
and focus to look ahead and figure out your next steps.”

When you prepare to ask for a raise or negotiate a salary, remember that you work for a business
that will pay you only as much as it has to offer. Don’t make it personal; shed your tears and
emotions before you negotiate. Never apologize for asking for what you’re worth. Ask your
colleagues and mentors who got the salaries they wanted how they made that happen. When
you’re in their position, pay it forward to someone who needs advice and support.

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At some point, you will fail at something that really matters to you. What you do

afterward is what counts.

No one gets through life without rejection and failure. What you do after things go wrong is what
matters. Failure can help you learn something new and take a new path.

“You never know what opportunity…failure will bring or how it will open a door that you
didn’t even see because you were so focused on the intended outcome.”

Let failure and rejection teach you how resilient you can be. Consider journalist Deborah Roberts.
As an intern at a TV station, she failed to record even a minute of tape during a day full of
interviews. When the station’s management let her redo the shoot, she focused on every detail.
Roberts later became an award-winning ABC News correspondent.

Activating community is a great way to achieve your goals: “Network or die.”

Strong women lift others up and carry them along as they succeed. They see themselves as part of
a community. A group will respond to a challenging goal when members believe they can achieve
their ambitions together. Building a supportive, diverse network is the most important thing you
can do for your career. You must network in person. Do your research before you reach out to a
new contact. Use your Strike to make a positive first impression. Arrive with a well-crafted list
of questions. Introduce yourself with a story that gives insight into your life trajectory. Ask one
intelligent question before your time together ends. The people you connect with early in your
career or in a new job are the foundation for your future career. A strong network is diverse and
includes people from different fields.

“There is no shame in selling yourself, your vision, or something you built or created. No
one will ever know your strengths and weaknesses as well as you do.”

The larger your network, the better. Accept every assignment and invitation that allows you to
meet people. If you’re new, learn names and faces. Your network expands when you join someone
else’s network. Take calls from people who want to connect. Schedule specific actions to build
your network, and follow through with new contacts. Strive to make a substantive personal
connection. This matters to sales. Emotion, connection and mutual support – elements of
community – are critical to the selling process. Women often feel uncomfortable selling. They see
selling behavior as unfeminine and find self-promotion unpleasant. Don’t let this attitude hold you
back.

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Public speaking gives you a voice: Prepare thoroughly to convey your vision to an

audience.

To be an effective public speaker, practice. Train for it as you would work out at a gym. Everyday
life offers opportunities to practice elements of public speaking. Chat up strangers as you wait in
line, trade quips with co-workers and try out a joke with a new acquaintance.

“When I try to make a point, it comes in the form of a story. Life. Story. Everything seems
better with a setup at the beginning, an interesting middle and a grand finale with a little
flair.”

Rehearse your material; preparation prevents performance anxiety. Learn to use stage-fright
nerves and adrenaline to enhance your stage presence and energy. When you start your
presentation, your anxiety will ease. When you plan to use your Strike, memorize your opening
sentence so you can look out into the audience while staying present and engaging. With
experience, you’ll do without notes, and that will make your presentation more powerful. Weave
a theme or motif through your talk. End your time on stage with a memorable closing line.

“No matter how high someone ascends into the ranks of their job or in the stratospheres
of celebrity, they are still looking to connect through shared emotional experiences.”

Make sure you identify and tame any nervous physical movements or vocal mannerisms that
detract from your confident presence. Record your talk to friends and review it with them. Do you
like to use humor? Are you queen of the relatable anecdote? Can you pluck heartstrings and elicit
empathy? Call on those strengths to make your presentation more powerful. To deliver a notable
performance, keep these points in mind.

1.

Your energy and enthusiasm engage the audience – Prepare by exercising, listening to
music that pumps you up and reminding yourself why you’re there. Then go out and leave it all
on the field.

2.

The audience is rooting for you – They want you to succeed. Everyone knows public
speaking is hard. People are forgiving, especially if you ask for their help and understanding.

3.

Make your audience part of your presentation – Conscript audience members by
interacting with them. Your presentation will feel more like a conversation than a lecture.

4.

Flattery will get you everywhere – Let your audience know you see and admire what they
have to offer. Avoid negativity, and leave people feeling better about themselves.

To fulfill your goals, have a destination in mind and a road map in hand.

A road map can be as detailed as your schedule for the day, week, month or year – or it can be the
path you envision for your life. A road map keeps life’s daily demands from bogging you down.
A schedule helps you feel prepared, and boosts your confidence and focus. Your road map isn’t

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cast in stone. Revisit and revise it as your circumstances and goals evolve. Check in with it, and
celebrate every achievement along the way.

“There is nothing to be gained from leaving anything on the table – in a charity auction
or in life. So give it your all. Every time.”

A daily schedule lets you anticipate and make time for what matters to you: family, work, exercise,
networking, travel, even recreation. Curate your schedule for the satisfaction of accomplishing
what you sought to accomplish daily. Committing your daily, weekly and long-term road
map to paper provides an overview. This helps even if you use just the calendar app on your
phone or computer. Sharing your goals helps make the commitment more real and generates
accountability.

Effective selling depends on a human connection.

You don’t sell by telling someone what they need; you sell by figuring out what they want or need,
and then showing them how what you’re selling helps them get it. The most effective sales pitch
is in person, where you can experience how your potential customer receives your message and
adjust accordingly. If you can’t get a face-to-face meeting, follow the same principles you would if
you were in the same room.

“The crucial part of selling anything is understanding what the person on the other side
of the table wants and how whatever you are selling can help them achieve that goal.”

Do your homework and learn about prospects in advance of your pitch. Establish points of
connection and create friendly relationships. Respect their time, and pay attention to what they
say about themselves. This gives you information to build on for your next interaction.

Eliminate distractions: Get off your social media apps and turn the computer off. Give your
prospective clients your full attention. Hear and see what matters to them – what they care about,
how they speak. That allows you to draw on their interests and vocabularies to reflect matters to
them. Build a positive, two-way relationship; people always prefer to do business with someone
they feel they know.

“You are uniquely qualified to sell yourself and your vision to other people.”

New technologies play a supporting role in building that human connection, but they can’t replace
it. Still, be flexible and ready to adopt technology that enhances your selling.

Cultivate social graces, charm, and a strong will to get things done. Sell with integrity.

Good manners, great grooming, and a willingness to step up and set things right fuel your success.
The example you set trickles down to the people who work for you. Cultivate the skill of making
things look effortless while firmly steering things your way.

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“After so many years of practice, I find that each audience is like a puzzle without defined
borders, and it is up to me to figure out how to create a pitch so attractive that the pieces
all come together.”

Thank the people who give you their time, preferably by mailing a note card in an envelope. Dress
in a way that shows your respect for your colleagues and clients – and for yourself. The right
clothing boosts your confidence.

Don’t burden your boss with problems that you should be able to solve. Be the person who
figures out solutions. When things get difficult, keep an even keel and an upbeat manner – others
will take their cue from you. Just because you make it look easy doesn’t mean that you’re not
managing your responsibilities firmly.

“Work is no longer about going to an office where you grind at the same thing day in and
day out. Work is a place where you learn the skills that you can apply to other things that
interest you.”

In sales, you’re only as good as your reputation.

People will buy from you if they trust you – so tell

the truth. Your reputation depends on your history of accurately representing what you’re selling.
Playing fast and loose with the truth to make a sale will destroy your good name quickly.

Personal confidence and the ability to reach out to and support others are the

hallmarks of a woman in charge of her own life.

The people you admire or who intimidate you are still just people. They deal with the same
challenges you face, and work to overcome them and excel. If you do the hard work to get ahead,
your peers and the people you look up to will recognize their own effort in yours and respect
you. Use your hard-won confidence to take risks. Reach out and connect with people in high-up
positions who can help you succeed.

Don’t be afraid to explore outside the lines of your current job title or role. Reaching across
generational lines and occupational boundaries will provide you with new, valuable insight into
life’s possibilities. Build and contribute to a diverse and inclusive community whose members help
one another succeed in their professional and personal lives.

About the Author

Lydia Fenet is managing director and global head of strategic partnerships at Christie’s. She also
is a charity benefit auctioneer who travels widely, speaking on selling and the empowerment of
women in the workplace.

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