COUNTDOWN UNTIL THE
END OF THE WORLD

A TIGERS AND DEVILS SHORT

by SEAN KENNEDY

COUNTDOWN UNTIL THE END OF THE WORLD: A TIGERS AND DEVILS SHORT

SEAN KENNEDY

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For Kristobel

TEXT © SEAN KENNEDY, 2012

COUNTDOWN UNTIL THE END OF THE WORLD: A TIGERS AND DEVILS SHORT

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APPROX. 14 HOURS UNTIL DOOMSDAY

“So, when is the end of the world meant to happen, anyway?” Roger asked. “Is it like New

Year’s?”

“You mean does that little island get wiped off the planet first?” I replied. “What’s it called

again?”

“Kiribati,” said Fran. “And they’re islands, not an island.”

“Show off.” I topped up her ginger beer. She was still refraining from any alcohol, although

she had said that if the world did end she would have one last gin and tonic.

“This conversation is really morbid,” Declan said.

“Poor baby,” I said, rubbing his arm. “Dec is scared of the upcoming apocalypse.”

“I am not,” he said. “You’re just obsessed with it, and I’m sick of hearing about it.”

“You have been a bit full on,” said Roger.

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They were all ganging up on me. The bosses at the station I worked for had made me in

charge of an “End of the World Marathon”. For two hours each night, starting in the first week of

December, we had been showing films and docos about doomsday theories and conspiracies. My

head had been full of them for the past two months as I researched, picking out the best selections

our budget could afford. All my friends had suffered as a result as I regaled them with each new

thing I had found out – my personal favourite being that various cosmic forces would align and the

human race would gain superpowers. Much better than the world being hit by a rogue planet or

meteor. Plus, Dec would look good in spandex. Me, on the other hand…

“Well, if the world ends you won’t have to hear me talk about it anymore, will you?”

“I’m praying for an apocalypse,” Fran said through a mouthful of nuts.

“What I would like to know—“ I began to say, and everyone groaned. “No, really. Nobody

can figure out the time all the shit is meant to go down. I mean, is it like New Year’s, and as soon as

it is a minute past midnight on the Kirabati Islands, meteors will fall from the sky and zombies will

arise from their graves? Or do we go by the time in Peru, where the Mayan calendar was produced?

Well, I assume Peruvian time as that is—“

“Ugh, turn him off,” Roger moaned from behind a couch cushion.

I continued, un-thwarted. “Anyway, all I’m trying to say, is that it may not happen at 9pm

tonight for us. We could well survive into the second half of the 21

st

.”

“Yay, more time to panic.” Fran stared morosely at her ginger beer, like a lonely alcoholic

wishing for it to turn into real beer.

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“And—“

Dec’s hand clamped over my mouth, and I tried to speak through it but all that resulted was a

garble. I gave up.

“Thank you,” Roger said.

“You’re welcome,” Dec replied, but his lips ghosted over my cheek with affection.

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APPROX. 11 HOURS UNTIL DOOMSDAY

“Can you make me a promise?” Dec asked as he shucked out of his jeans and then proceeded

to hang them up.

Now he was clad only in his boxers, he could practically get me to agree to anything.

“Sure.”

He jumped into bed beside me, and Maggie was disturbed by the motion and jumped off,

glaring at us before disappearing into the kitchen in search of biscuits. “When life goes on

tomorrow, as it always has and always will, until we’re both dead—“

“Now who’s being morbid?”

“—let us just raise a glass to surviving, and never speak a word of the apocalypse until the

next threat of world destruction, okay?”

“Deal,” I said.

“Now,” he said with a grin, “if it’s the last night on earth, let’s make sure it’s a good one.”

And he wasn’t talking about eating ice cream in bed.

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APPROX. 4 HOURS UNTIL DOOMSDAY

I was rudely awakened from a deep sleep by the landline ringing.

Dec groaned beside me. “Leave it.”

I was tempted. Dec was warm beside me, and his hand was clamped to my thigh as if he

wouldn’t let me go.

“Stay here.”

“Fine by me.”

He hadn’t even opened his eyes.

Who calls on a landline, nowadays? As soon as I had that thought, the ringing stopped. I

stopped in my tracks. I was more awake now, and more aware of my environment. There was a

strange atmosphere in the room, the closest I could compare it was with the charge in the sky before

a lightning bolt appears. The hairs on my neck were raised, and I could now see that the lounge was

bathed in a sickly yellow light. I turned slowly to look out the window---

---and jumped as my mobile began ringing.

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Dec was right. I had been watching too many crappy apocalypse docos.

But I still had an uneasy feeling as I picked up my mobile. The skies outside our window were

a strange yellow, hence the gloom in the lounge. I didn’t have time to think about it too deeply.

“Simon!”

The voice was panicked, and so distorted that I could barely make it out. I pulled the phone

away for a moment so I could look at the screen, and an old photo of Nyssa smiled up at me.

“Nyssa? Hi—“

“Simon! It’s happening! It’s crazy over here – sirens on the street—“

“Nyssa, calm down!” But I didn’t sound that calm myself as I said it.

“There’s nothing we can do, Simon. Not enough time. It’s all---“

The line cut off.

“Dec!” I yelled, immediately punching the keypad to get Nyssa back.

He appeared at the doorway. “What’s going on?”

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“Either Nyssa is playing the best prank ever, or shit’s really going down.” The line wouldn’t

connect, and all I got was a maddeningly calm computer voice telling me there was a problem.

“Or you’re playing the prank,” Dec sighed.

I turned on him in a fury, trying Nyssa’s line all at the same time. Dec actually started when he

saw my face. I must have looked frenzied.

He ran over to the couch, scrabbling for the television remote.

“I can’t get her back, Dec!”

“What did she say?” he asked, flicking through the channels to get to ABC24.

“She just sounded…” I trailed off. I couldn’t do justice to just how terrified Nyssa sounded.

“—Zealand,” the reporter said as she faded in on the television screen.

I moved to stand beside Dec, and my hand of its own volition crept around his waist.

“The first reports started coming in around twenty minutes ago. This is how quickly things

began to happen. Contact has been lost with both islands, and atmospheric conditions have made it

difficult for satellite imagery to be accessed. Currently we have no idea exactly what is going on, but

there were some reports of tidal waves and earthquakes—“

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My grip on Dec tightened, and I felt him sag against me.

“If there’s tidal waves—“ he finally said.

“They’ll be coming here,” I agreed.

“We’re pretty high up.”

“Depends how big the waves are.”

“Simon!”

“Sorry.” I didn’t like seeing Dec starting to lose his shit. But him being worried kind of turned

me into the calm one. We both couldn’t panic. I had to put Nyssa out of my mind. I couldn’t even

think of her being dead---

No, I had to stop thinking.

“I’m calling my family,” Dec said, and disappeared into the bedroom, leaving me alone in front

of the telly. The reporter was close to breaking point, much like Dec had been, and I didn’t know

which scared me more.

My hand shaking, I tried calling my parents but got a similar impersonal voice to what I did

before, this time telling me all lines were busy.

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Dec came back into the lounge, phone in hand. “I can’t get through to anybody.”

“Neither can I.”

“What are we going to do?”

I wanted to yell, you expect me to know? You tell me! But I couldn’t do it to him.

“We could run,” I said. “But everybody probably has the same idea now and we could get

stuck in traffic before we even got out of the city and got to the hills. Maybe we’re better off staying

here, and getting up to the roof.”

“What about our families? Abe and Lisa? Roger and Fran?”

That was when I lost it. “I don’t know!” I had no idea what we were going to do, let alone

anybody else. I couldn’t even guess what they were feeling at this time, unable to get through to

everybody they were worried about as well. Dec and I were lucky – we lived in a twelve storey

building – everybody else we cared about was on the flat plains of suburbia.

“They at least have to get here.”

“We don’t know how long we have!”

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How long did a tidal wave take to travel, anyway? I should have done sciences in high school,

not history. Did learning about the past prepare me for the future in any way? What the fuck was I

thinking?

Seeing me stalled threw Dec into action. He hurried to the kitchen and started rooting around

in the cupboards.

“What are you doing?”

“Water and food,” he said while in action. “We don’t know how long we’ll be on the roof for.”

I hadn’t even thought of such a necessity. It was like I had already convinced myself we

weren’t going to survive the day. And that was no way to go out of this world, already having given

up.

I was about to join him when my mobile rang. Both Dec and I looked at each other, surprised

that somebody was actually getting through, and I dove for the phone before I lost whoever it was.

“Simon!” Roger’s voice, like Nyssa’s, like mine, like Dec’s, was shaky and uncertain.

Desperate, in case the call cut out, I yelled, “Try and get over here. We’ll be safer on the

roof.” I didn’t know if I was lying, but I didn’t believe myself.

It was lucky I was curt; the call dropped out.

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“Keep filling these bottles,” Dec said. “I’m going to run downstairs and see if Lisa and Abe are

home.”

“Hurry up,” I said. I didn’t want him to be out of my sight, but I knew he wanted to check on

them. He grabbed me for a hurried kiss, and then was gone.

Even though the news was still blaring, a silence fell in our apartment once Dec was out of it. I

felt terribly alone, and all I wanted was him to come back. To distract myself I started filling the rest

of the water bottles and grabbed a green bag to start stacking them in. Once that was done I looked

through the cupboards and started adding boxes of crackers and fruit.

Once that was done, I felt like I was going even crazier than before.

Stepping into the hall, I was stunned by the silence. I thought maybe there would be mass

panicking by the other residents of the building, but it was just me waiting for Dec to return.

The door across from us creaked open. Mrs. Gupti stared at me. I said her name, and she

nodded slightly. She looked crushed, and I realised that she had nobody.

“Come with us to the roof, Mrs. Gupti. It will be the safest place.”

She shook her head. “There is no safe place now.”

“We don’t know that.” I was trying to convince myself now, more than anything.

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“I’m just going to stay here, with my things.”

“Please, Mrs. Gupti.”

She began closing the door. “Say goodbye to Declan for me. You were both good men.”

I had always thought she hated me. I wanted to leave her with words of hope or wisdom, but

she closed the door before I could even think up something. The fire escape door flew open at the

end of the hall, and Declan emerged out of breath and sweaty.

“They’re not home,” he gasped. “I don’t know where they are.”

Miraculously, my mobile rang again. We both ran into the lounge and I picked it up.

“Fran? How did you—“

Her voice was faint, and was even worse than Roger’s had been before. “Simon—“

“Fran! Are you okay?”

“We tried – getting to you – but someone crashed into us – oh god, Simon, he’s not breathing,

he’s not breathing—“

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I heard her start screaming Roger’s name, as the world had already ended for her. The line

cut out – I don’t know whether it had dropped out or she had just hung up.

“What is it?” Dec asked.

“Roger and Fran aren’t going to make it.”

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APPROX. AN HOUR UNTIL DOOMSDAY

There are some things that doomsday just has to wait for. And that’s skin against skin, kisses

that should last forever, that last full-on intimacy with the person you love as your bodies fit

together one more time, whispered I love yous and those last five minutes of lying together, naked,

fully exposed both physically and emotionally, and letting the tears come as you hold each other.

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APPROX. 30 MINUTES UNTIL DOOMSDAY

In the end, it is only Dec and I on the roof, with our pitiful supplies should we survive the end

of the world. We don’t know where everybody else in the building has gone, but there is utter panic

on the streets below. The traffic is gridlocked, people are screaming and running in every direction.

Nobody knows where to go. I can see other people on the tops of buildings, having had the same

idea we did. There is nothing left to do but wait.

Dec and I sit on the ledge of the roof, our feet dangling high above the ground. I should be

scared, but I’m not. Maybe it would be a blessing if we both fell now, holding hands all the way

down.

As it is, we still hold out hope. There is nothing more to say. We sit without words, but rely

upon touch. We never stop touching each other, whether it is holding hands or resting our heads on

each other’s shoulders, or kissing just to remind ourselves we’re still alive.

For now.

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DOOMSDAY

The screams escalate. On the edge of the bay we can see the wave coming. It is bigger than

we imagined, so much bigger. I think it is bigger than our apartment building.

Dec and I stand, retreating from the edge of the roof, still holding hands.

“Don’t let go,” he tells me.

“I never have.”

He gives me a brilliant smile, but there are tears in his eyes.

Buildings begin to fall, and they are taller than ours. Others are swamped by the water. A

shadow begins to pass over us, and I feel Dec’s grip tighten on me as I begin to scream and---

All is silence.

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APPROX. 8 HOURS UNTIL DOOMSDAY

I am still yelling as I leap out of bed, terrified. I thump against the wall and fall to the floor.

The light is switched on, and Dec is by my side.

“What the fuck?” he asks. “Are you okay?”

I am still unable to speak. All I can do is grab him and hold him close.

“Those fucking documentaries,” he muttered, his warm breath comforting against the sweat

on my forehead. “I told you.”

“I think it was the cheese,” I finally managed to say. “They say you should never eat cheese

before bed.”

“Yeah,” he chuckled. “That was probably it.”

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APPROX. 6 HOURS UNTIL DOOMSDAY

Neither Nyssa, Roger or Fran were impressed that I had called them to make sure they were

alive. Dec had gotten on the phone after I had allowed myself to experience the reality of their

voices and made placating noises. But I was still on the edge of that hysteria only borne from a vivid

nightmare that will never allow you to sleep again until you have convinced yourself that it was all

just a dream.

We were now having a beer in the kitchen. Alcohol was the only thing I thought would soothe

me again, and it took a couple for me to get through the details.

“So let me get this straight,” Dec said, hiding a burp behind the back of his hand. “You saved

Maggie from an awful death by erasing her entire existence from your dream, but you gave horrific

Hollywood-like deaths to your friends and loved ones?”

“It’s not my fault!”

“It was your dream, and it says a lot.”

“Thanks, Dec. Let’s focus on the big issues, here.”

He started counting them off on his fingers. “One, a drowned Nyssa. Two, a suicidal Mrs.

Gupti. Three, Roger killed in a car crash. Four, Fran presumably drowned. Our families, who knows

what. And then finally, you and me on a building toppling into the ocean.”

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“At least we were together.”

“That’s nice.”

“And Mrs. Gupti said I was a good man. Finally.”

“Now, there’s a sneaky bit of wish fulfilment contained within a dream.” He couldn’t help but

grin.

“Aha!” I said, triumphantly. “I knew she hated me!”

“She doesn’t hate you. She just… likes you less than me.”

“Oh, she loves you.”

Dec reached across the kitchen counter and took my hand in both of his. “It was just a dream.

The world isn’t going to end.”

“I know that.” And I did, but it didn’t make the dream any less unsettling.

“Unless of course, it was a prophetic dream.”

“You can shut up now, Dec.”

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“I guess we’ll find out in a few hours…”

“You really can stop now.”

“Let’s get you back to sleep. Christmas is in a couple of days, and you should be dreaming of

that. Of visions of sugarplums, and jolly St. Nick.”

“That does sound a lot better.”

We finished our beers, and made our way back to bed. I scooped up Maggie and nestled her

in close between us. In the darkness, with my family, I felt a little more at ease.

“Hey, Simon?”

“Yes?”

“I’ll be with you until the end of the world.”

“Same.”

It was approximately five hours until doomsday…

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AUTHOR’S NOTE

This is basically a crack!fic that was born over a get together with my good friend Kris only a

couple of days ago. Over your typical end-of-the-world Christmas conversation, Kris asked for a

special Christmas gift extra – how Simon and Declan would experience the apocalypse. It is a bizarre

concept, and one we had many giggles over. Writing it, however, was a much harder thing. Am I

ruining the Tigers and Devils world by writing it, and releasing it for you to read?

I hope not, and I hope you take it in the spirit it is meant to be taken – one crazy night in the

world of Simon Murray, when his dreams are affected by the documentaries he has had to collect

and watch for work. Like another gay icon who awakens in the real world after such a bizarre

dream, in which “you were there, and you, and you”, Simon is comforted by everything being put to

rights.

So that is all this is.

Unless of course… as I write this, it is officially one day until the apocalypse.

I hope I am still here to continue writing in a couple of days. And that you all are here as well.

SK

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th

December, 2012