Marked 2 Becoming Noah Baxter J M Sevilla

Marked.

Part II:

Becoming Noah Baxter

By J.M. Sevilla

manner whatsoever without written permission, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in

critical articles and reviews.

This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are

products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living

or dead, or actual events is entirely coincidental.

Marked.

Part II: Becoming Noah Baxter

By J.M. Sevilla

Book Two of a Two part series.

For those who wanted to know Jay and Lily's story just as desperately as I wanted to tell it. I wish I

could meet you all and personally give you a heartfelt thanks for all your love and support.

Jay

Chapter 1

Friday, January 24
2:36pm

“He'll find out about her too,” Lazra's last words are still ringing in my ears. “He'll find out about

her, and he'll take great joy in killing her with his claws as you watch. The same way he did with your
mother and fath–” I shot her before she could finish. I look down at my hands, still covered in my
blood, and remember the way they had trembled while she spoke and when I pulled the trigger. I don't
remember them ever doing that. They're still a bit shaky.

I open the door to the Escalade, stopping to stare up into the sky to catch one last glimpse of the

jet that is taking Lily home, where she belongs.

I rub a palm over my chest, trying to take some of the sting out, but it does no good. I can't

believe how much this hurts. I press my palm in deeper, digging it into my flesh. The pain of her
absence makes me even more aware of how much she's become a part of me. How did this even
happen? How did I let myself fall in love like this? I don't understand how the absence of her makes it
hard to breathe.

I bend over to rest my palms on my thighs, but the searing pain from my gunshot wound makes me

almost blackout.

I think I popped a stitch. Motherfucker.
I stumble into the Escalade and tell the driver to have Vault get the doctor back.
Goddamn, I'm in a world of pain. My emotions are too much for me to handle right now. I focus

on my injury, being more comfortable with physical wounds than emotional ones.

A picture of Lily's tear-streaked face looking out the jet's window flashes to the front of my mind.
I'm in agony now.
A pained moan leaves my lips. The driver thinks it's from the popped stitch and speeds up,

informing me we're almost there.

I keep causing her pain and I keep vowing to myself to never be the cause of it. Well, I fucked

that up. Again.

I continually rub my chest, thinking the pain of this might be what kills me.
Where's the air in this fucking car? I can't breathe. I roll down the window, but it does no good;

my lungs won't suck it in.

I knew this girl would be my undoing. I knew it from the moment she came back to my place with

that damn pie in her hands and rambling shit I didn't even hear; all I could focus on was her sinfully
perfect lips. I had never had the urge to kiss someone before that moment.

I might never get to kiss her again.
I'm hyperventilating now. I'm not strong enough to handle everything transpiring inside me. This

is why I kept shutting her out. She brings forth too many parts of myself I've tried so hard to lock away
and pretend don't exist.

The doctor is ready and waiting for me when we make it back to Vault's. I ask him to hit me up

with as many pain killers as he can without killing me. He's hesitant, so I harshly let him know he
doesn't have a choice. The doc quickly gets to work injecting me. I mumble something to Vault about
making sure his men are still searching for Arianna as my eyelids droop. I pass out in minutes,

relishing the relief of not drowning in my emotions.

Chapter 2

Tuesday, February 4
10:54pm

“Ready?” Charlie asks, opening the security room door and poking his head in.
I've been in here all day. Well, really I'm in here for most hours of the day, watching the monitors

and looking at the bank's layout, trying to go over all possible ways that The Marker could try to
enter.

“Yeah, let's do this,” I respond, getting up to follow him. Charlie's one of the only guards

working for Vault that I tolerate. He keeps things simple and to the point, never looking to make
conversation beyond what's necessary. He's also one of the best I've seen at his job; so good, in fact, I
want to suggest that Vault starts training him to one day be his head of security.

We walk down the hall, exiting the door that puts us directly into the waiting area to Vault's

office, which is on the second to top level of Cole Private Bank and Trust. The top level is where
Vault lives. I thought I lacked a social life, but at least I've traveled all over the world. Vault seems to
have locked himself away in his own building.

We're meeting Vault and the rest of his men to make the final preparations to extract Arianna

from where we believe she's being held captive.

Walking past Vault's two assistants, I give a slight nod of my head and a small upturn of my lips,

which is more than they usually get out of me; hell, that's more than most people get. I'm trying this
new thing were I'm not a complete ass to everyone. Most days I fail.

I'm doing this to try...well, I'm not exactly sure what I'm trying to do, I just know that if I want a

life with Lily I've got to learn how to “play well” with others. It's a lot harder than I thought it was
going to be. Most people annoy the shit out of me, and the more I try to be nice the more annoying they
seem to get. Especially if you smile at them; it's like an invitation for them to start yakking away at
you.

Take the other morning for example: I needed to get out of here for a few minutes and went

across the street to get coffee. The line was long (I do surprisingly well with long lines, they don't
bother me; it is what it is) and the girl behind me smiled and I awkwardly gave her one back. For
whatever reason, this gave her permission to start a one-sided conversation. I don't give a flying fuck
what drink you're ordering as we wait in line for coffee, and I especially don't care about hearing
your debate whether to go for your usual sugar-free, non-fat vanilla thingy, or if you should splurge
because it's Friday and you've been staying on your diet all week. I had politely nodded my head and
told her to go ahead and splurge, she deserved it. For a minute I feared she was going to hug me.
That's the first and last time I'm ever going to a place outside of my own for a damn cup of coffee.

It's ridiculous, but if I had that conversation with Lily I'd be grinning the whole time with how

adorable she is.

Is it possible for me to not think of her every other second? It's making it hard to concentrate,

especially when my mind decides to remind me of what she looks like naked.

Man, she has great, perky tits.
Great, just what I need – a hard cock as I enter Vault's office.
When we walk through the double doors to Vault's main office, Asswipe is standing in front of

the wall of screens, glaring at me, looking like he doesn't understand why I'm still around.

Funny, I was wondering the same thing about him.
I hate that guy. Besides him being shitty at his job, he threatened to put a bullet through my girl's

head. That shit doesn't fly with me.

He hates me for getting his own gun out of his hand while I had him locked around the neck. I'd

hate me for that too; that shit would be embarrassing with your boss right there, seeing the whole
damn thing.

The rest of the guards who are helping extract Arianna are here too. I can never remember their

names, so I just say “hey” to get their attention. All together, there are seven of us to get her out.

It's taken longer to figure out where Jaxon Henley's men took her than I would have liked. We had

to be careful who we contacted and make sure they wouldn't let it leak what we were up to. Word had
already spread like wildfire about the shootout at The Fairmont and the death of Lazra and her men.
Unfortunately, everyone seems to know that Link (I hate that fucking name) was involved and was the
one to kill her with the help of Vault's men, just nobody knows why.

After I found out everyone in my circle had heard what had happened, I had a full-blown panic

attack. What if they find out about Lily? Even thinking about it now has my anxiety building, but as far
as we know she's still a secret. Thank God for that. I really don't want to have to go and hunt down
every contract killer and their employers, but I will if it means she's safe. I know that sounds arrogant
of me to think I could kill them all. I'm not stupid, I know I could never pull it off, but I sure as fuck
would try. I'm that overprotective and paranoid when it comes to her.

Eliza Raine, or Lazra if you ask anyone from my world, had made a large sum of money from

owning brothels and kink clubs in the parts of the US that allowed them. We found out from her
(before I shot the crazy bitch to death) and from some of Vault's contacts that Jaxon Henley was one
of her major clients, but not in the way one would think. Lazra uses her clubs to hide the services she
really offers: a place for people to act out their darkest desires (and by darkest I mean full on twisted
and satanic, both sexually and physically). She has men and women you can rent for the night to do
with whatever you please, even in the sickest of ways. I thought I had issues, but the people who use
Lazra's private services make my need for revenge seem like a healthy outlet.

We checked Lazra's kink club in San Fransisco, but it didn't show any signs of being more than

that. Word is she has secret passageways to her other chambers.

Charlie's the one who volunteered to hopefully find a worker or member who might accidentally

slip out a clue. He came across a man who was bragging that he currently had the highest bid for a
gorgeous woman his buddy had recently acquired, and would be offering her out soon for others to
try.

We dug a little deeper, and it turns out that Jaxon motherfucking Henley had made arrangements

to sell Arianna to a business partner of his who had wanted her since the minute they met during an
event Arianna had accompanied Jax to. Henley saw it as a way to have the man be in his favor, and to
keep Arianna from sharing what she had learned about him.

We're going to the man's house who bought her tonight, hoping that's where he's keeping her.
While we wait for Vault to join us, Asswipe and I have ourselves a little stare down. I decide to

unleash the demon inside me and have it come full force on my features, crossing my arms and flexing
to make my muscles expand. His eyes flinch in response to my demeanor. He tries covering it up as
though he didn't react, but we both know he did.

Vault finally decides to grace us with his presence, appearing as cool and aloof as ever, one

hand always holding a glass of expensive-ass whiskey. He leans against his desk, unbuttoning the

jacket to his three-piece suit, waiting for our attention.

A few men sit on the couch. I move to the wall of monitors, wanting to stand closer to Asswipe,

hopefully pissing him off like his existence does to me.

Charlie joins me, the only guy I've met besides Vault and Malik who was never intimidated by

me. I think he also likes that I never try to engage him in conversation, us both having a mutual need to
keep our distance from people, oddly making it so most of our time is spent together.

“You all know your roles for tonight, correct?” Vault's head of security asks.
I wait impatiently while everyone else nods. I'm the one who organized this fucking thing.

Besides, what's so hard to remember about ambushing a place and to follow orders? This is one of
the many reasons I would go insane working for Vault long term.

We break and head for the gold elevator.
I hear Asswipe make a mumbled comment behind me that has me turning around, slamming him

against the wall with my forearm pushed into his neck, “You care to fucking repeat that?”

His face is slightly red from my hold but I don't let up.
“I said,” he croaks, “I'm tired of waisting our time on Lincoln's pussy.”
I work my jaw, trying to find reasons it's a bad idea to knock him out.
“Don't fucking come then,” I seethe, finding it hard to hold in my rage. “It's not like you'll be of

any use, unless we want our targets to get a hold of your gun.”

Asswipe has the fucking nerve to try and swing his fists at me, and I lose any reason I might have

come up with.

A forceful jab to his ribs has him curling over. If he wasn't Vault's cousin I'd have done a lot

worse. I'm not so sure I won't before my time here is done.

As we make the drive, I realize that this will be my last hit before The Marker. It seems surreal,

like this part of my life can't possibly be coming to an end. Am I ready for all this to be over? To
never again experience the kind of adrenaline rush that's already amping me up?

Do I even know how to be normal?
No, I sure as fuck don't.
I'm going to try though, I have to try. I have to win. I don't have a choice, Lily owns me heart and

soul. I will fight to protect her, keep her safe and secure. Forever. I could honestly spend the rest of
my life content trying to see that she's happy and safe. It really wouldn't be that hard, and I'd fucking
love it.

I quickly scrape the grin off my face before the others can see, but it's pointless; Lily makes me

feel almost human, with real emotions and feelings.

The Escalade stops a few houses down from the one we're hoping Arianna's being held at.
Immediately adrenaline surges through every vein in my body. I can't imagine drugs being a better

high than this.

I shut Lily off for the time being, knowing she'll resurface the minute this shit is over and done.
Game time.

Chapter 3

11:59pm

Charlie locks eyes with me, letting me know it's time.
I nod and we all put our black ski masks on. This is not the norm, but I don't want anyone seeing

my scars – which are hard to forget. I'm trying to work away from this life – so far it's obviously
going great (that was sarcasm in case you missed it).

I make sure my silencer is in place before I get out. I'm going in with a flak jacket for the first

time in my life. I'm not ready to take the chance I won't make it out. Death has never scared or
bothered me before; I've seen too much of it, experienced too much of it to have any affect on me.

Until now. Until Lily.
More of Vault's men join us from the other SUV and we make our way to the front entrance, not

hiding that we're here.

Vault has already informed his contact at the police station to make sure any calls are ignored

regarding our location.

I'm about to kick the door in when Charlie stops me, shaking his head and rolling his eyes. He

reaches for the door knob and twists it open.

I guess that's one way to do it. Personally, I think my way is more fun.
The door creaks loudly as it opens the rest of the way. I keep my nine aimed and ready. We ease

our way into the dark foyer, checking our corners. The stillness and quiet has me on high alert. It
makes it seem like we've entered a haunted mansion and ghosts are lurking around every corner,
ready to materialize and spook you. Not that I ever get creeped out...

My ears strain in the silence to pick out any noises that will warn me of what's to come.
Nothing. I hardly even hear our breathing.
Charlie motions that he's going to hit the lights and I nod.
It's a relief to have sight in our favor and we spread out in pairs. Charlie and I head to the back,

checking any rooms or closets along the way, giving each other questioning glances because it
appears no one is here. Either we're about to get ambushed or they've abandoned the place already.

Both options fucking suck.
We search the place from top to bottom, knocking on walls to find passageways, but we don't

find anything.

The basement is the last place we look. I take point, prepared to find a battle waiting for me at

the bottom.

It's empty.
They obviously knew we were coming. Does that mean she was once here? Where the hell is she

now?

Back to square fucking one. I thought for sure we would find her here. I can't seem to trust my gut

like I used to.

We head out, defeat not sitting well with me. Why would they have traveled with her? Where did

they go? They have to know she's connected to Vault, Arianna would make sure they did. Who would
take the chance of messing with someone as powerful as Vault? You'd have to be a fucking idiot. If I
was them, I'd leave her behind.

This is what I hate about dealing with idiots, they always complicate things and still manage to

get themselves killed.

I try to put myself in their minds, thinking of possible scenarios a moron would come up with.
Charlie slaps my chest with the back of his hand and points to a shed out back.
I nod. It couldn't hurt to look; at this point we have nothing to lose.
As we get closer I notice the heavy duty security chain and lock. No way can we get the lock

open quickly. I shoot instead, and it takes an additional one to pop it off.

We kick it open together, both wanting to keep our nines aimed and ready.
Fucking garden supplies. Not even good ones. Why the hell would you lock up a cheap rake and

some fertilizer with a lock of that size. Unless...

I scan the tiny shed's floor, looking for any signs that part of it comes out. It's nothing but smooth

cement.

Charlie has his back to me on the lookout for any surprise attacks – he's obviously put off by this

place too.

I lean back to inspect the outside, then stick my head back in. I do this two more times.
It's bigger on the outside.
Not by much, but definitely bigger.
I tilt back again to look to the left and right sides.
Bingo.
I move inside to the left wall and shove with my hands. Damn, what the hell is this wall made of?

I actually have to put some muscle into it. The wall moves back a good foot to reveal one long slit of
open floor. I hesitate to peer down, not knowing what to expect. I gesture to get Charlie's attention and
point to what I've discovered. He goes back and forth from watching the outside and leaning in to get
a better view.

I'm not sure how to get down there. I can guarantee I would get stuck, and Charlie's almost my

same build.

I motion for Charlie to hand me a pebble next to him. I drop it down, listening for when it hits the

ground. My guess it's only a few feet. Yeah, no way in hell can I fit in there. Even if by some crazy
miracle I squeeze down, I'd have to travel on my stomach. There's no way I could protect myself that
way, let alone help Arianna if she's even in there. This might only be a place for drugs, weapons, or
money. It certainly doesn't seem big enough to fit a human.

If anyone's in there I'm sure they heard me scooting back the wall. No matter how quiet it

sounded out here, it had to have echoed in there.

“Arianna,” I whisper the best I can, wanting her to answer but at the same time not wanting to

think that she's been in there with less room to move than a coffin.

No response. I wait a few seconds because I really don't want to leave until I know what this

place is for.

“Jay?” I hear a dry, hoarse voice.
Relief hits me at the same time the guilt does. I just pray she hasn't been in there long.
I lift off my mask so the words will be clearer, “Yeah, A, it's me. Are you alone?”
“Yes.”
“Can you get out?”
“Where are they?” She asks.
“The place's empty.”
“Are you sure?”

“Yes. Vault's men are in there now doing a second sweep.”
“Promise?” She's scared. Well great, doesn't that make me feel even more like shit.
“I promise. You're safe. I won't let anything happen to you.”
She lets out a cynical laugh.
That stings, but I deserve it.
“It's too dark for me to see in there. Can you get to me?”
I hear her body sliding.
“Is it safe for me to put my hand in?” That's when I see her fingers poking up through the dark.

Dirt is caked under her nails and covering her hands. I hear a sob of relief escape as our fingers meet.

I officially feel like the shitiest human being alive.
“I'm going to pull you out.” I'm hoping if they could get her in, I can get her out. “Give me both of

your hands.”

Fuck, her hands are like icebergs.
Once I have a good hold of them I begin pulling her up, careful not to yank too hard not knowing

the state she's in. My gunshot wound isn't healed and I pray I don't pop another stitch as it stretches,
crying out for me to stop. I'm going to pay dearly for this later.

Her arms make their way up and I see the top of her head as she turns it to fit through the opening.
Afraid I might dislocate her fragile, weak arms, I grip her under the armpits to pull her the rest of

the way out.

I cringe as I hear her skin scrape against the cement and the pained cry she lets out as it

unnaturally pushes her breasts flat.

I hold in my fury, when inch by inch I see her naked flesh and the bruises and gash marks

covering her filthy skin.

Somebody's going to pay for this.
Guilt punches me in the gut. That somebody should be me.
Arianna clings to me when she makes it all the way out, her whole body shaking. I want to take

off my shirt to cover her, but she's holding me too tight.

A shirt is shoved in my face. I take it from a bare chested Charlie and get Arianna to let go

enough that I can pull it over her freezing skin. This shirt will do nothing in the way of warmth, but I'm
sure she doesn't want the other men seeing her naked body when I carry her out.

I begin to stand and my wound screams in protest, buckling my knees. I hold in the urge to roar

out a curse from the pain.

Charlie bends down to extract her from me.
“No!” She objects, holding on to me tighter, her teeth chattering in my neck.
I have to shove down my anger, knowing there's only one reason she doesn't want men to touch

her.

“It's okay, you're safe,” I reassure her. “Charlie would never hurt you.”
“Jay's recovering from a gunshot wound. He might damage himself if he carries you,” Charlie

speaks, rubbing circles on her back and lifting back his mask. “If it helps, I'm gay. I have no interest in
what you have to offer.”

He's not, but man, I'm hoping this is the reassurance she needs. Carrying her would hurt like a

bitch.

“I'll be right next to you,” I add. “Nothing will happen.”
She reluctantly lets go and allows Charlie to cradle her in his arms.
“Oh, you're warm,” she whispers, pressing herself closer to him. “I'll make sure Jay kills you if

that hand travels up any further.”

Charlie softly chuckles, “The thought never crossed my mind.”
“Good.”
“Yeah, A, he'd much rather get a good squeeze out of mine,” I tease, making Charlie smile for the

second time since we've met.

“Nah,” he continues our banter that has Arianna smiling and her body relaxing, “Your ass isn't

plump enough for me, and all those muscles? Disgusting. Who would find that attractive?”

Arianna lets out a small giggle and Charlie has a satisfied grin for a fraction of a second.
One of the guards pulls out a blanket from the house and hands it to me before we get inside the

SUV. I place it over Arianna, Charlie tucking it around her. She buries her face inside it, hiding away,
staying on Charlie's lap as we drive back to Vault's.

I grab a water bottle and bring it to her chapped lips. She takes a few small sips, keeping the

blanket up to block the side of her face from the others. The Arianna I know could hardly wait to see
men dissolve around her.

“How long were you in there?” I ask, even though I don't really want to hear the answer. I'm

afraid it will be another memory that plagues me.

“A couple days, when he heard Vault's men were on the hunt. That's where he liked to keep me

when he was done,” she mutters, voice stifled by the blanket, her body trembling some more.

“Shh, we can talk about this later. First, we need to get you checked out and fed.”
“No, please, Jay!” She cries, burying herself away in the blanket. Charlie's whole body locks and

I can tell he's wanting to murder the man that did this to her, “I don't want anyone touching me. Please,
I can't let another man touch me.”

“We can get a woman, but you need to be checked out.”
The blanket moves from what I assume is her head nodding in agreement.
The rest of the trip back to the bank, I take my self-loathing to another level. I now know with

certainty I don't want this life anymore, not any part of it. I want to be able to live with myself.

Chapter 4

Wednesday, February 5
3:36am

I'm sitting on my couch, mindlessly watching television. Arianna's in the shower after the female

doctor checked her out and cleaned up her wounds and gashes brought on by the man who had had
her. The doctor told me she had been raped in every place you can rape a person. I'm pretty sure
nobody can hate themselves more than I do right now.

Arianna told me everything she could, which wasn't much, but I relayed the details to Vault. He

can decide if the people involved are worth going after. I'm done with that life.

She comes out in the sweats I had found for her and sits on the opposite end of the couch. We

both pretend to be paying attention to what's on. Halfway through the program Arianna scoots over,
sitting right next to me, placing a hand on my thigh.

“Thanks for rescuing me.”
I wince because it's my fault she was there in the first place, and she's looking at me like I'm a

goddamn hero.

I place my hand over hers, happy that there is some warmth to it again, “I'm sorry for not getting

you out of that hotel room when I had the chance.” I'm not usually one for apologies. You live with the
actions you make and move forward, but telling her that was almost freeing. I give her hand a
squeeze.

Her eyes fill with tears. “Oh, Jay,” she says with the first amount of happiness I've seen from her.

She climbs over me and wraps her arms around my neck.

I freeze in response and place both hands next to my sides on the cushion. I don't think I'll ever

enjoy being this close to someone. Except Lily, but she seems to be the exception to all my rules.

“I knew you just needed to see how much I matter to you. Now you finally understand how I've

felt all these years.”

What the fuck is she talking about?
I try pushing her back to her seat but she won't budge.
Arianna groans in my ear and grinds down on me, reaching her hand down to massage between

my legs, “I've missed this. I've missed us.”

I grab hold of her biceps and lift her off of me and onto the seat she first occupied.
Frowning, she reaches over again for my cock. I grip her wrist to stop her.
She seductively lowers her voice and gives me her sexy, coy smile, “What's the matter?”
“Seriously?” I sneer.
“Is it because of her,” she spits out her like it's venom in her mouth.
“Of course it fucking is.” I'm not even going to deny it anymore and pretend Lily means nothing to

me. “I thought you liked her. You two seemed to be the best of friends,” I say this sarcastically,
because their new friendship (or whatever the fuck it is) bothered me then and it bothers me now. No
one wants the woman they had dirty, kinky animal sex with to be friends with the woman they want to
spend forever with. That's a recipe for disaster if I ever heard one.

“You don't miss what we have, what we've had?” Her voice is soft and almost vulnerable, not a

common trait for her.

No, I didn't, but I couldn't tell it to her like that. The old me would have, but since Lily I've

realized you can word things so you don't come off like a complete jerk. I still don't understand what's
so wrong with being straightforward, but whatever, I'll play by the rules for her.

I try softening my voice to sound more compassionate, “Arianna, we were kids when we met...”

more like horney fucking teenagers. “Can you even tell me anything about myself that doesn't involve
The Marker or jobs?”

“Nobody can. You're locked up tighter than Vault's...vault,” she grins.
“Lily can. She knows me better than anyone.” Sometimes I think she understands me better than I

do myself.

“You can tell me things too, you always could. I would practically beg you to open up to me.”
She did. I actually feel a little bad about that. I basically would roll into whatever town she was

currently conning, look her up, fuck the shit out of her, and if she tried talking or cuddling after I
would get up and leave. I'd used her to get laid because I didn't like dealing with people I didn't
know. Human interaction and contact was too awkward for me – still is, but I'm working on it.

“I get what you like about her,” she continues when I have yet to answer her, “I really do, but

she's not like us.”

Thank God for that. The fact that Lily's the exact opposite of me is one of the things that drew me

to her. I wanted to figure out how someone close to my age could still be so naïve and innocent; it
fascinated me. She's trusting of others and lets her vulnerability show, exposing her emotions for
everyone to see. Something Arianna and I could never do.

“You wanted me at the club when she was there,” she points out, remembering the way I'd looked

at her and danced with her.

I'm going to sound like a jackass, but I'm not sure how else to put it, “I was faking it. I was afraid

if I didn't pretend to still want you, you'd see right through me and how I really felt about her. I'm
extremely paranoid when it comes to her safety.”

“I'm more beautiful than she is,” Arianna adds, like that should be reason enough, completely

ignoring what I said.

“There's different kinds of beauty. You can never be Lily's kind of beauty.” No one can, at least

not to me. Lily's beauty makes my stomach and heart do funny things. Her smile alone knocks me on
my ass. When she looks at me with those eyes, so trusting and full of love, it makes me want to be the
kind of man she deserves, the kind of man she believes I am. Arianna's beauty is that rare gem you put
on display to tease others with and remind them of their imperfections.

“You're the only one I've ever met that my looks have no affect on,” she whispers. The sadness I

see is unnatural for her; she's just as good at hiding her emotions as I am.

What she said isn't entirely true. I always thought she was hot and couldn't wait to get my hands

on her body, but I also wouldn't have cared if she had told me to fuck off and leave her alone.

“You ever wonder if the only reason you had feelings for me was because I never viewed you as

a trophy?”

Her lips curve down for a brief second as the tears in her eyes begin to well up, “That's the only

reason I survived for so long with him,” she says “him” in a tortured, pained voice, wiping away a
fallen tear. The darkness she just stepped into can be felt. “I was too pretty to dispose of. That's why
my face was left unharmed. I'd almost prefer it if it wasn't, if somehow my beauty could have been
taken away.”

“That's all I've ever been to anyone,” she continues, her body slightly curling into itself while her

eyes turn vacant and haunted. “A pretty face, one to bend and fuck however they want. What's worse

is I would let them. I would let you, needing any kind of attention I could get to make the loneliness go
away.” The laugh she lets out sends a chill down my spine, because it's the most depressing, sad
noise I've ever heard, “Be careful what you wish for. I don't think I'll ever be able to get past what
was done to me.”

Aw, shit. I lean forward into my hands, cradling my face. I broke someone who's already broken.

I just secured my place in hell. But really, who am I kidding? I was destined for that trip a long time
ago.

“Did I really just try to throw myself at you?” She chuckles in an awkward, forced way.
I let out a laugh, which is muffled in my hands, “Yeah, I think you did.”
“I'm really fucked up in the head right now. Can we please pretend I didn't just do that?”
“Yup,” I quickly respond, lifting my head to see she's staring out the window in front of us.
“How do I get past what I'm feeling? How do I move forward with my life, remembering what's

been done to me?”

“You don't. You just try and find a way to live through it.”
“Will you help me?”
“Yeah. Yeah I will,” I promise, perking up for the first time since watching Lily get on the

elevator to get Vault's stupid-ass fucking file. Maybe I can redeem myself, if it's possible. Even if it's
not, I can know I died trying to be a better man, a better person. For Lily, and more importantly, for
myself.

I'm not sure how to help Arianna, or that I even can, but I can at least try to help her glue the

broken pieces back together.

At least it's a start.

Lily

Chapter 5

Friday, February 14
10:16am

“Lily!” Martin barks, pushing through the door to his photography studio.
I automatically extend both hands out over my desk: latte in one hand, today's schedule in the

other.

He snatches the paper first, almost giving me a paper cut, then his latte. He glances down to read

what the schedule is while he sips his drink.

Martin is an average height, average weight, average looking man, with an above average

grouchy disposition that seems permanently carved into his brows. He's either scowling, sneering, or
showing his disdain for whatever you are doing. He's curt, rude, and neurotic at most hours of the day.
This makes him an asshole of epic proportions, but I find as long as I get my work done and avoid
talking to him, he leaves me alone.

I go back to stuffing envelopes reminding clients about getting spring portraits and the various

packages he offers.

Naomi (who happens to be his assistant) got me this job a few days after my return, when the

former receptionist walked out – she got sick of Martin being a dick. Despite Naomi's warning I'd
snatched the job up, needing something to do besides sitting at home worrying about Jay. I'd also
thought it would be fun to work with Naomi, but Martin gets pissed any time he sees us conversing. It
ended up working out in my favor; Noami's been trying to set me up with one of her brother's friends
who recently expressed interest in me. She doesn't understand why I keep refusing, especially since
he's a great guy and I used to have a fat crush on him. The hard thing about Naomi is once she has an
idea about something she doesn't let up, pestering you until you cave and do what she wants. I
anticipate this being a never-ending battle until Jay returns. Oh, joy.

“Noami here yet?” Everything that comes out of Martin's mouth makes it sound like he's angry

with you, even if it's asking you to hand him something as simple as a pen.

“Here,” she pops her head around from hiding behind a gigantic fresh flower arrangement she

picked up for today's shoot. The couple arriving soon have booked Martin for their engagement
photos. The bride thought it would be romantic to have them done on Valentine's Day.

Martin starts rattling off photography lingo I'm not familiar with while Naomi stands there

nodding her head in understanding.

I don't know how she bites her tongue all day. Keeping opinions and thoughts to herself is not

something she does well, but her passion and love is photography so I guess it's a sacrifice she's
willing to make. She wants to run her own studio someday, and despite Martin being an arrogant
asshole, he's damn good at what he does. She even leaves her leather boots and jacket at home in
favor of wool pants and button-up tops, although I have a feeling the minute she's her own boss the
leather will go back on. Naomi's not Naomi without her riding boots on.

The engaged couple arrives and I greet them, offering a place to sit and any refreshments. I can

tell the groom would like a cup of coffee from our Keurig but his fiancée won't allow it, not wanting
their newly bleached teeth to be stained. I resist the urge to tell them it can be photoshopped out – I
already made that mistake once before. Never contradict the bride-to-be, the term Bridezilla was

made for a reason.

I go over to Martin and Naomi to let them know the appointment has arrived, then go back to

work at my desk, every so often glancing up to watch. I can already tell the groom will have a lifetime
of his wife telling him what to do.

I spend an hour on the phone with a woman who wants to go over every little detail that each

package offers while she reads it to me from the website. Most would find this frustrating, but I don't;
I relish any distraction right now.

Close to lunchtime, Martin, Naomi, and the couple head out for the pre-approved locations the

bride wants to try. Naomi makes a face at me as she passes and it's hard to hold in my laughter. I'm
not sure who she's ready to strangle first: Martin or the bride. I think she'd like to clunk their heads
together and be done with it.

Shortly after, I lock the shop to go get lunch. The walk to the nearby deli is refreshing. The sun is

beating down on my skin, the air smells fresh – it's just what I needed.

As the deli comes into view I can already taste it in my mouth. I'm about to open the door when I

spot my new neighbor, who's occupying Jay's old place, smoking a cigarette across the street. He
moved in a few days before my return. I'm not sure where he works, but he's always around so I
assume it must be somewhere downtown.

I wave because he's watching me. He lifts his head in acknowledgement.
If I'm honest, there's something about this guy that creeps me out. He seems to be everywhere I

am. The grocery store, restaurants, he even has his breaks at the same times I do. Quite a few times
I've caught him sitting at the bench across from the studio, talking on his phone, staring through the
studio window straight at me.

I hurry inside, putting off figuring out if being in Jay's world has made me paranoid or if my gut's

trying to tell me something.

When I come back out he's still there. I was going to eat at one of their outside tables, but I think

I'll eat at my desk instead. I scurry back, having that feeling his eyes are on me as I go.

1:24pm

My phone rings in front of me on my desk while I'm eating. I recognize my home number on the

screen, so I answer it knowing Seth's home sick today.

“Can I have some of your pie?” He asks.
“What pie?” I don't remember us having any pie in the house.
Seth lets out an exasperated sigh, “You know, the one that came for you this morning.”
I bolt straight up in my seat, “When was this?”
“You didn't know?”
“No, Seth, I didn't.”
“Sorry, I thought you did. It's from that fancy pastry place.”
“Is it pumpkin?” I hold my breath in suspense.
“Yeah...” he trails off, sounding wary and somewhat accusatory. “Who sent this to you?”
Jay's alive! Hallelujah! I mean, I figured he was. I figured Ben would let me know if he wasn't,

or I'd see news about the CEO of Cole Private Bank and Trust being dead and I would know Jay was
too. I push those thoughts back. I'm not souring my mood with them. Not when I have pumpkin pie
waiting for me at home sent from the man I love. I didn't think Jay would even know Valentine's Day

existed.

“Yes, you can have some, and by some I don't mean the whole entire thing,” I threaten.
“Alright, alright, I'll save you a slice.”
You would think Seth's teasing but he's not. I can guarantee most will be gone when I get home.
“Before you eat it take a picture of it for me.”
“You want me to take a picture of a pie?” He asks, like my request is the most bizarre one he's

ever heard.

“Yes.”
“Man, girls are weird.”
We hang up and I do a little happy dance in my seat. I needed this. I needed some kind of

confirmation that he was out there, and it makes it better knowing he's thinking of me. I sigh and rest
my cheek on top of my fist on the desk, staring dreamily into space, thinking of Jay and pumpkin pie.
Yummy yum yum.

Chapter 6

4:31pm

“Hey Lily, it's me,” Stevie cuts in when I answer the office phone. “Can you tell Naomi to have

her girlfriend stop calling here when she's at work?” Naomi started dating Nina, the bartender from
The Recovery Room, not long after I gave Naomi her number.

“Sure–” I start to say, but she's already hung up. Geesh, Stevie sure has been grumpy since I got

home. I keep trying to talk to her about it, but she always snaps at me that nothing is wrong. I consider
calling her back, but I would most likely just piss she and Martin off.

When Naomi passes by I discreetly slip her a piece of paper about the phone call. She quickly

reads it, rolls her eyes, crumbles the paper in her hand, and tosses it in the wastebasket next to my
desk.

“She has been such a cranky bitch lately,” she grumbles.
I dart a glance at Martin's office in the far back to make sure his door is closed before

responding, “What's going on with her? Did something happen while I was gone?”

“Yeah,” Naomi huffs, “I got a girlfriend.” Then she practically storms off.
Okay, wow. I'm way out of the loop with my friends.
Since when does Stevie care if Naomi has a girlfriend? I remember when Naomi first started

dating women Stevie got all weird about it, but that was years ago. I definitely need to find out what's
going on. I've been so self-absorbed about Jay that I've been ignoring my friends. Not good best friend
material.

I made plans to hang out with Stevie after work at she and Noami's place, since we are both

alone on Valentine's Day. Hopefully I can get her to confess what's been bothering her.

5:21pm

I drive to the two bedroom apartment Naomi and Stevie share. They keep trying to get me to

move in, but I'm hesitant because of Jay. I don't want to put my life on hold for him, but I also don't
know what the future holds.

I twist Jay's ring around my middle finger all the way to their door, loving the comfort it brings

me and how connected it makes me feel to him.

Stevie answers the door with barely a hello. Normally she's the first person to greet you with a

warm hello and a happy-to-see-you smile. She's already in her ice cream cone flannel pajamas, face
clear of makeup, and her glasses on.

I close the door behind me. I can already smell whatever she has cooking. My dad taught Stevie

how to cook. I'd never tell him this, but I think she might be better at it than he is.

“Have you stopped wearing contacts?” I ask, following her to the kitchen. Since my return I

haven't once seen her in her usual colored ones.

She points to the glass of wine she poured for me before answering with a shrug, touching the

side of the frames and pushing them up, “I'm tired of not revealing my true eyes.”

She still has a sad frown on her face.

“Are you going to tell me what's going on with you?”
“Are you?” She tests.
“Fair enough,” I grumble. How do I even begin to explain what I've been through? At times, I

hardly believe it myself.

Leaning against the kitchen counter, I stare down at my hands (something I seem to do a lot

lately), remembering Jay's blood on them and the four men I killed.

I had stared down at the dried blood on my hands the whole limo ride home from the airport,

wondering what my family would think when I showed up in a housekeeping uniform with spots of
Jay's blood on it. I'd tried cleaning myself, but the blood refused to come out of the fabric.

Drinking almost a whole bottle of champagne on the plane ride home had helped. I wasn't as

paranoid or freaked out as I might have been for my family to see me like that.

Cody had been the one to answer when I knocked on the door. He only stared at me, mouth

dropped open. Lucky for me, he was the only one home and I quickly ran to take a shower. When I got
out, my parents, brothers, Jill, Noami, and Stevie were all congregated in the living room, wrapping
me in hugs.

Cody has yet to tell anyone about my appearance when I first arrived; not even Seth, which

surprises me. When I asked him about it, he only told me, “It's not my place to tell.” I guess I can't call
him a kid anymore.

I had kept my story simple, making it easier to remember and not being sure how much I was

allowed to tell. I couldn't have Jay be the bad guy, so they believe Jay was found but quickly
released, not being the man they were looking for. I'm not sure how I'm going to explain him to my
family when he comes back for me, but I'll figure that out when the time comes.

The first few days of my return seemed to merge together, making it hard to distinguish what day

was what while I came to terms with the four deaths I had caused. I don't think I'll ever get over it, but
the guilt gets less and less every day. Being home has helped. Normalcy helps. Being around family
really helps.

Stevie snaps her fingers in front of my face, “See? There you go again, zoning out, lost in

thought.”

I take a long sip of wine, ready to turn this back around on her, “Okay, so let me ask you this.

What's got you so upset over Noami being with Nina? You never seemed to care before.” I remember
the huge crush Stevie had had on Naomi, but I thought she'd gotten over it. Over the years she'd
become so uncaring about who Noami saw or brought home with her. Maybe her being so carefree
about it was really her covering up her true feelings?

“Lily,” she sighs, “I've been in love with Naomi since the day she defended me. I thought she was

the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. Still do. She's just never felt the same about me.”

Huh. “Have you guys talked about this?”
“Every morning that she wakes up in my bed instead of her own.”
Okay, wow, this is news to me. I thought they only did stuff when one or both of them were

drunk. I've asked them about it before and they always made it seem like it's no big deal, just an
added bonus to their friendship. I should have known better. Intimacy always adds extra emotion to a
relationship.

“Why have you never talked to me about this before?”
“What's the point? I've been insanely in love with that woman since I met her, but all I've ever

been is a place to go when she has 'needs',” she uses air quotes and a disgusted face with the word
needs. “And I welcome her every time like a fucking idiot, thinking maybe this time she will fall in

love with me too. I don't know what to do, Lily.” She takes her glass of wine and finishes half of it
before checking the oven and asking casually, “Has she said anything to you about her and Nina?”

“You really want to know?”
She closes the oven and turns around, “No, but I live for self-inflicted pain.”
“She likes her. A lot.”
“Yikes,” Stevie mumbles, and I can hear her playing with her tongue ring.
“I think I may need to get drunk tonight,” she informs me.
“Please do.” I wouldn't mind a few drinks myself. I take another sip of the wine she left out for

me and she does the same.

Stevie looks like she might start crying. I walk closer to grab her hands in mine, letting her know

I'm here for her, “I never knew you felt this way.”

“She was the first girl I ever kissed. Really, she was the first person I've done anything with. I'm

the reason she realized she was definitely a lesbian. She told me she thought she might be and wanted
to find out, so we kissed. At first it was only our lips, but we both loved it and kept wanting to do it
again and again, exploring more of the other each time. It was awesome. I can't tell you how many
nights we shared a bed together. She wants you to believe it's only when she's drunk, but she still
comes to my room to fool around – sober I might add – and I let her every time because I'm a glutton
for punishment, only to wake up to an empty bed and her pretending like it means nothing more than
her being horny. Breaks my heart every goddamn time.”

“Maybe she's worried you won't be happy with only a woman?”
“That's bullshit. She knows if she wants me I would never want another human being again. I

swear it.”

I can tell she does. Stevie doesn't play games.
“Stevie, I'm so sorry you've been living with this. I'm sorry you never felt you could come to me

about it. I promise to start being a better friend.”

Stevie lovingly rubs my back, “What are you talking about? I couldn't have asked for a better

friend. You have never seen how amazing you are.” She wipes at her moistened eyes, “My whole life
people have judged me. They think because I dye my hair crazy colors and cover my body in tattoos
that I must be a freak. Then when they find out I'm attracted to men and women, they think I must have
issues. I'm judged all the time for how I look and the way I choose to live my life. But not by you. I've
never been judged by you. You have always accepted me just as I am.” Tears start to brim around her
lashes and her voice sounds constricted, “That makes you rare and special. I love you, Lily. I wish
everyone had a Lily in their life to accept them for who they are. I'm sure that's why your neighbor
took such a liking to you.”

The mention of Jay feels like someone took all the oxygen out of the room and my lungs start to

cave in from the pain of needing air.

“You weren't interested in his exterior,” she stops and we both start laughing because we know

that's a lie. She saw the way I would drool over him. “It mostly had to do with what you saw on the
inside. That's how you've always been. That's what makes you so beautiful. You are a rare gift to this
world, and I thank God every day that I'm one of the lucky few who found you.”

Tears are now falling down both our cheeks. Stevie wipes away hers and mine, “What ever

happened while you were gone hurts you. I can tell. I can also tell there's a lot more to the neighbor
story than you're willing to share. I'm okay with that. I truly believe it will work out for you, that life
will give you what you want. You will find your happily ever after. I have to believe that. I have to
believe people like you get rewarded, because what's the point otherwise?”

“You're a better person than me, Stevie.” She lets out a “pfft” and a dismissive wave of her hand,

never seeing that I'm the lucky one to have her as a friend. “You have always been there for me, my
family, Naomi, her family, even your crazy drunk dad – you still give him money and take care of him.
You volunteer at the women's shelter every free chance you can, always organizing ways to get them
clothes, food, jobs, whatever they need. Every Thanksgiving and Christmas you spend the day
cooking and serving the hungry. I don't know a single person who gives to others as much as you. You
deserve a happily ever after just as much as anybody else.”

Now we are both crying, trying to clear away our tears.
“Okay, we need to stop this. I want to have a fun, relaxing night with my best friend,” Stevie

sniffles, “So let's share the amazing dinner I cooked that's going to blow your mind, and start our Die
Hard marathon.”

“That sounds like the best Valentine's Day ever.”
We high five and carry on with our evening, both keeping it light and fun, neither one of us

wanting to sober the mood.

Chapter 7

Sunday, February 16
3:36pm

Noami and Stevie have been bickering all day. This isn't normal for them. They always have fun

together, but Nina is causing a rift in their friendship. And if Noami mentions one more time about me
going on a date with Nate (her brother's friend) I'm going to sock her. Silly me had thought it would
be fun if we spent the day together shopping, but what we should have done is go to the movies,
where you have to be quiet.

My phone rings in my purse on our way to their apartment, where we're going to make dinner

together and hang out some more. I'm crossing my fingers we don't end up strangling one another.

“Can you get that for me?” I ask Naomi, pulling into their parking lot.
She grabs the purse handle down by her feet and places it on her lap, unzipping the top, and

rummaging around until she finds the still ringing phone.

“Hello,” she answers.
“Hello?” She tries again, giving Naomi's signature “don't waste my time” expression and tone.
“Helllooo,” she repeats, her tone showing how irritated she is that the person hasn't responded.
I park the car in a visitor's space and extract the phone from Naomi before she has the chance to

give whosoever is still there a piece of her mind. Naomi's fuse is even shorter than Jay's.

“Hello?” I ask like a broken record.
I hear a sharp intake of breath that causes me to do the same.
I exhale slowly to try and steady my nerves, but it's pretty hard to do when my heart has just

started galloping around inside my body.

What do I say? Is it even him? Do I say his name? Why doesn't he answer? I pull the phone away

from my ear and see that it's a number I don't recognize and have missed twice before.

What if it is him?
How many questions can I ask myself before actually opening my mouth and letting sound come

out?

Why am I nervous?
Say something, Lily! I scream at myself. But what if it's not him?
Grr, I'm annoying myself with all this internal dialogue.
Okay, be cool. Don't start professing your undying love for him. Remain calm, you're not even

sure if it's him.

“Hey,” is my ever cool response.
“Hey,” comes the familiar, deep, warm voice I'd know anywhere, sounding just as nervous.
The biggest smile I think the world has ever seen plants itself on my face.
“Who is it?” Noami questions, getting closer to hear while Stevie pokes her head between the

seats to see me better.

“Damn, I bet the glow from Lily's smile can be seen by the sun,” Stevie teases, poking my arm.

“Who is that?”

“I would pay good money to see that smile,” Jay speaks, causing a dip in my stomach and making

me forget how to breathe.

“Lily, you there?” Jay wonders after a few seconds of silence.
“It'ssogoodtohearyourvoiceI'vebeensoworrieddoesthismeanyou'recominghomeisitoverareyoucomingbacktome,”

I blurt out in one big whoosh, completely forgetting the need for coherency and oxygen.

Smooth. Way to play it cool.
I slap my shaking head to my palm. I'm such a dork.
“Uh, what?” I hear Jay swiping his head. I thought if only I could hear his voice it would ease

some of my misery, but I'm finding that it's only making my heart hurt more and the longing I've been
experiencing intensifying.

Naomi and Stevie's faces are in my personal space, trying to hear who's on the other end. I get

out and walk away from the car, hoping for some privacy. I hear car doors slam behind me, followed
by Stevie's heels and Naomi's boots trying to catch up with me.

“Jay?” I whisper, my feet picking up their pace, trying to escape my nosy friends.
“Yeah?” He breathes out in a mixture of trepidation and relief.
“Is it over?”
“No.”
“Bummer.”
“Yeah.” Is his throaty response, and I get the feeling he's experiencing all the same emotions I am

right now.

“I needed to hear your voice,” he reveals, making my huge smile return.
“But you can't call me back,” he quickly adds.
“Okay.” Besides my embarrassing ramble, I still can't form words.
“I'm serious, Lily,” his demanding, rough voice almost has me laughing.
“Got it, no calling,” I reciprocate, biting into another humongous smile.
“Do you?” Jay implores, probably remembering the times I've ignored him.
I let out an over-dramatic sigh, “Yes, dear.”
He lets out a low, rumble of a laugh and I have to place a hand over my heart, thinking it might

help steady it. It's feels so incredibly good to hear his voice.

There's some clattering in the background and a woman's shrill screech.
“I have to go,” he rushes.
My heart deflates, “Okay.”
“I'll call you tomorrow.”
He hangs up at the exact time my friends catch up to me. I extend the phone out and stare at it as

though I'm ninety and still trying to figure out how these darn things work.

Stevie runs her hand down my hair, “Everything okay?”
Naomi crosses her arms in frustration, “Are you ever going to tell us who that was?”
“No,” I answer them both, shoving the phone in my pocket. “Let's get dinner started. I'm

starving!” I hurry to their apartment, trying to push back my heartache and tears.

I avoid answering questions all night, pretending like I had never gotten a phone call. Tomorrow

I'll have to ask Jay how much I can reveal to my friends. I don't like keeping things from them and it's
all I seem to do since I met him.

Chapter 8

Thursday, February 20
7:49pm

“You totally cheated!” Seth accuses, throwing his cards down in a huff.
“How? How did I cheat?” I inquire after winning a round of Kings Corner. I'm at home hanging

out with my younger brothers. I try to spend time with them at least once a week, not only because I
want the memories, but also because they are a blast to be around. It's a guarantee you'll be laughing
the whole time, which is exactly what I need right now.

“I don't know,” Seth mumbles, never taking defeat well. “You just did.”
“Oh, well thanks for the concrete evidence.”
My phone starts ringing from the kitchen counter but I make no move to answer it.
Cody gathers up the cards to shuffle, “That's getting really annoying. Are you ever going to

answer it?”

I briefly let myself acknowledge it's presence, “I'm letting him sweat a little.”
Cody starts dealing the cards, “Do you have a boyfriend?”
I twist the ring around on my middle finger under the table, not sure what the best response is.
The phone stops ringing, only to start again right after.
Seth peers at the seven cards in his hand, “Geez, Lily. What'd the guy do to deserve you ignoring

his calls all night?”

“He took four days to call me back,” I grumble. The calls started at four this afternoon and have

come every half hour after that. For the past hour it's been every fifteen minutes, but I keep ignoring
them. The first two calls I missed because I was at work. When I realized I'd missed Jay's call I was
in tears, rejoicing that he was okay, but then I got pissed. I don't like that he promised to call and
didn't, causing me to be worried for four straight days. He's not another average guy, he's Jay, and a
man that wants to kill him is planning to attack at any time. Him not calling possibly means he's not
around to call anymore. Therefore, I'm letting him experience how much it sucks to not talk to the
person and hear that they're all right.

We start our game and my brothers have decided this round we can only speak with British

accents. The previous round could only be done in pirate slang. Seth tries to impersonate Sean
Connery, and when I inform him he's Scottish, he gives me an exasperated sigh and a glare that lets
me know I'm turning too much into an adult and to just go with it. So I do.

I've decided to go with Cockney, sounding like Audrey Hepburn in My Fair Lady. This earns

their respect back and they laugh every time I speak. I'm considering only talking this way around
them if it gets them laughing this hard. Cody's decided to be Austin Powers. That's what I love about
being around those a decade younger, adults would try and be serious about getting it right. Well,
scratch that. Adults wouldn't even do that, but non-adults don't care about being silly and goofy, the
more so the better. It's refreshing to be around.

Cody wins this round and Seth starts accusing him of also cheating, and that maybe we're

conspiring against him. I start to defend myself when the doorbell rings.

“I'll get it!” Seth yells, jumping up and causing his chair to tip back as he dashes to the door.
I try and make out what is being said, but am only getting muffled voices.

Shortly after, Seth comes back, “The neighbor's having Internet trouble and was wondering if we

are too?”

“The Kincaid's?”
He shakes his head, “No, the guy who's renting the place scarface stayed at.”
“Don't call him that!” I snap louder than I should, making both my brothers jump. “Go tell him I'm

checking to find out. Don't let him in,” I tack on, having learned that one the hard way. Won't make
that stupid-ass mistake again.

It doesn't take long for me to see that it's working just fine, maybe even a little faster than usual.
I go to the front door, not liking the tension my body is experiencing at the idea of being up close

to him.

I open the door to find him talking on his cell, his side leaning against the house. He looks up

when he sees me, but doesn't say anything.

I don't know if it's my imagination or not but he looks annoyed with me, like I'm the one wasting

his time.

“Ours isn't working either,” I shrug, hoping I'm coming across as baffled. I'm worried if I tell him

it's fine that he'll ask to use ours.

He scans me from top to bottom; not suggestively, it's almost like he's doing it to reassure himself

I'm in one piece, “Okay, thanks.” Then he leaves back across the street, continuing his phone
conversation and lighting up a cigarette.

Is that house a magnet for strange, standoffish men or something?
I come back to the kitchen and the boys have decided it's time for a snack. They pull out

everything that sounds appetizing and try to figure out what kind of crazy concoctions they can create.
I fear for the day they discover pot.

My phone rings again. I decide to finally answer, more because I want to hear his voice than

thinking I've made him suffer long enough.

I grab my phone and one brother mutters a “thank god,” while the other states, “It's about time.”
I roll my eyes at them and head down the hall to my room, tapping the answer button as I do.
I don't speak, waiting for Jay to go first.
He doesn't and we're both silent for an agonizing few seconds.
We both start talking at the same time.
I say, “When you say you're going to call, call!”
While Jay says, “Why aren't you answering your phone?!”
I close my bedroom door a bit to forcefully while we go back to our silent tiff.
I hear him let out a long sigh at the same time I do.
“I'm sorry, Lily. I meant to call. I wanted to call, but there was never a good time and I didn't

think you'd appreciate me waking you up at three in the morning.”

“You scared me when you didn't call,” I crawl onto my bed and lay down on my back. “I didn't

know if it meant something bad had happened.”

“Shit, I didn't even think of that.”
“I almost called you a hundred times. I don't understand why I can't call.”
“Just don't.”
“Your vague answers are so frustrating!”
“I'm frustrating!” Jay roars back, “What about you ignoring my calls? That's not cool, Lily!”
“I wanted you to know what it felt like to worry.”
“I worry about you every goddamn second of my fucking day!”

That shuts me up and turns off my anger. I open my mouth to apologize for my catty behavior but

he speaks up first, “I have to go.”

“Already?”
“Yeah.”
“Are you going to call me again?” I ask, but he's already hung up.
Well, shit.
I want to beat the crap out of myself right now. I'd start with my throat and force it to stop

constricting.

I wish I could call him back and apologize. I don't want to fail so I decide to call for back up.

Just as I'm about to call Stevie it rings. I see Jay's number, making my heart jump into my throat.

“Hi,” I answer warily.
“Hi,” he responds with the same amount of caution.
“Can I apologize and you'll forgive me and we'll pretend the last phone call never happened?” I

plead.

“I'd like that.” I can hear the smile in his voice.
“I'm sorry for being a child. This whole situation's been really stressful.”
He grunts, “That's a huge understatement. I'm sorry too. I should have called sooner. I wanted to,

Lily. You have to believe me when I tell you that you're on my mind all the time. It's just...sometimes
it gets crazy around here, and I didn't want to call and wake you in the middle of the night.”

“I don't mind, it's worth it to hear your voice.”
“Okay. Every chance I can I'll call, no matter the time.”
I sigh out my relief, “Thank you.”
Jay also lets out a long, heavy exhale, “God, baby, it's so fucking good to hear your voice.”
I almost lose it and start crying, but I don't want to waste this call by him comforting me and my

silly tears.

“Yours too,” my voice cracks and I take a sip of my bedside water to take some of the edge off.

“Did you find her?” I have to ask. Not knowing if Arianna is all right is just one more thing to keep
me awake at night.

“Yeah, she's here.”
My muscles release some of the tension they've been carrying.
“She has some issues to work out, but I think she'll be okay. I know you want to know what

happened and I promise to tell you, but it's been a long day and I'd rather not talk about that shit right
now.”

Okay, I can respect that. “Hey, you remembered Valentine's Day.”
I can hear him scratching his scruff, “Yeah, well...” He clears his throat and his awkward, shy

vibe can be felt through the phone. I wish I could see how cute he must look right now.

“Thank you, it meant a lot to me. I took my time eating it, savoring every bite.”
Jay groans, “Don't say things like that. I can only imagine how fucking sexy it would have been to

watch you.”

There's a long pause on the phone and I'm not really sure why I'm feeling so shy myself.
“I wish I had a picture of you,” I confess, needing something to say even if I'm embarrassing

myself.

Jay laughs.
“What? Too cheesy?”
“Yes, but that wasn't why I was laughing.”

“Okay?” I coax.
“You know those pictures Quake had of us?”
“Yes.”
“I look at them a hundred times a day.”
“You kept those?”
“Why do you think I put them in the back pocket of my pants at the diner? I never wanted to forget

what you looked like.”

I smile, letting the warmth of his voice and words travel through me, “You're really just one big

softie, you know that?”

He lets out a grunt, making me laugh.
Someone's voice calls out his name from the distance.
“Gotta go.”
Then he hangs up. No I love you, no talk to you later. He has the worst phone manners. Who am I

kidding, he has no manners.

Chapter 9

Friday, February 21
10:46pm

My phone vibrates on the side table next to me. A quick glance tells me that it's Jay.
My family is currently engrossed in a movie and doesn't notice when I duck out of the room,

scurrying to my bedroom.

“Hello?” I whisper as I shut the door behind me.
“Lily,” Jay breathes out like he's been waiting his whole damn life to hear my voice.
I hop onto my bed, “Hi, I'm glad you called.” I'm keeping my voice low, hoping to not disturb my

family and make them aware I left.

“Oh, god, baby,” he moans in complete distress, as though my voice physically torments him.
I sit rigid on my bed, “What? What's going on? Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I am now,” the words seem to strangle out of his mouth into the speaker.
I can tell he needs me, that something is not right, “How can I help?”
“You. All I need is you,” he says, more as an exhausted sigh. “Tell me about your day. All of it.

Every last detail.”

I tell him every minute detail, from what I ate for breakfast to the clients I'd encountered to the

movie I had started watching. I could practically feel his stress releasing with every word that left my
mouth. I intentionally leave out our new neighbor who continually happens to be everywhere I am, not
wanting to make his mood worse, figuring I'll tell him when he's not so stressed.

“Jay?” I ask when I'm finished.
“Yeah?”
“I love you,” I say, wanting him to know.
He makes a strangled grunting noise.
“You can tell me about your day too. It's okay,” I encourage.
“I...it's just...”
I can tell he wants to, but he doesn't know how. He's not used to opening up to someone.
“Did somebody piss you off? Do I need to come there and kick some ass?”
The sound of his laughter is rainbows and unicorns all tied up into one perfect bow sitting under

a glistening Christmas tree.

“The waiting,” he starts, voice deep and gruff, “this waiting for him to arrive. My life is at a

stand still. How much of it can I waste over him? I'm so fucking tired of it all. I just want to be home
with you. I'm over it, Lily.” The whole time he talks he's on the verge of cracking, making me want to
leap through the phone and cling tight to him. “I'm so fucking tired. I can't remember the last time I
slept. I mean truly slept, like when you're in my arms.”

Every part of me hurts, needing to comfort and love him.
“Where are you right now?” I ask.
“On a bar stool in my kitchen.”
I resist the urge to ask for details about his kitchen; now is not the time for my inquisitive mind.
“Are you dressed for bed?”
“Yes...” his voice has turned husky and I do my best to ignore the desire it invokes in me.

“Good,” I remain level, not wanting him to get the wrong idea despite my sudden arousal

protesting. “I want you to get into bed and then I'm going to tell you every little detail of my life since
I returned. Every last agonizing detail until you pass out from boredom.”

And that's just what I do until I hear the comforting sounds of his light snoozes echoing into the

phone. I lay with my ear pressed to the speaker, hearing them until I pass out too.

Chapter 10

Wednesday, February 26
10:54pm

The sound of my phone ringing wakes me on the couch, my Kindle laying on my stomach. I

blindly reach around until my fingers hit the plastic cover of my cell.

“Hello,” I mumble, somewhat incoherently.
“Hey,” comes the raspy, gruff voice of Jay, “Did I wake you?”
“It's worth it,” I reassure him. He could wake me at three in the morning, anything to know his

heart's still beating.

It's silent for a few awkward seconds.
“Everything okay?” I ask, the silence making me uncomfortable for some strange reason; I should

be used to it by now.

“Where are you?” Jay's voice has turned into that low, husky sound that I love.
“On the couch,” I whisper back, sliding up enough to see down the hall and if there are any lights

shining under the doors.

Pitch black.
I become aware of the stillness, that sense of mystery only night can bring.
“Alone?”
“Yeah.” Why do I sound nervous?
“Good,” he rasps out, still managing to shift the mood of the room when he's all the way in

another state. “Where's everybody else?”

“Asleep.”
“I need you, Lily,” Jay confesses in a way that has me instantly aroused.
“How do you need me?” I try making my voice seductive but it comes out in different pitches,

making me come across as the inexperienced girl that I am.

“I need to hear your moans...your cries of passion,” he stalls for a moment, but I hang in

anticipation for his next words. “I want you to touch yourself...I want to hear it. I want to hear it all.”

I love that Jay doesn't seem fazed by my inexperience, knowing I've never done this before.
I try not to be afraid and shy, because I want this too. “Okay. Let me go to my room first.”
A soft growl of approval faintly transfers through, spiking my desire and clenching my sex in

anticipation. I lock my bedroom door and get under the covers of my bed, eager and excited for
wherever this is headed.

“Where do you want me to touch first?” I sound anything but confident.
“Anywhere,” he almost sounds like he's begging me, making this even hotter. I love the passion

he has for me, how he'll take any part of myself I'll give to him, no matter how little it is, and it's more
than enough; he's just thankful to have a piece.

How did I get so lucky to find a man that loves me like this? That believes everything I am,

everything I have to offer is more than he could ask for?

I slide my hand down my stomach, skimming the cotton of my night shirt. Goosebumps are

already covering my skin before I've even made contact with it. I roll the material up enough to feel
the waistband of my pajama bottoms. I stop there, explaining where my hand is resting, wanting him

to tell me where to go next.

“Slide it under your panties–”
“I'm not wearing any,” I cut in, knowing the image will drive him insane.
The low growl of approval that rumbles out of him tells me I've hit my mark.
“Touch yourself...god baby, touch yourself and let me hear how good it feels.”
Any shyness is long gone at how turned on this is making him. I like having this kind of control

over him, how much of himself he entrusts in me, knowing there is nobody else he gives himself to
like he does for me.

I slide under the fabric, hitting the spot I know always gets me wet and ready. My whimper

causes him to let out a hum of his arousal.

“I want you to do this with me.” I get wetter imagining him stroking his cock while he pictures

me playing with myself.

“I already am,” he replies, his desire made clear in the way he breathes out the words.
“I can almost taste you on my tongue,” he tells me, knowing what this is doing to me. “Damn

baby, you taste so fucking good. I want to start at your toes and nibble, suck, and bite my way up,
stopping between your legs, making you scream out my name over and over again until you can't take
any more. Then I'll travel to your breasts that fit perfectly into my hand, playing, teasing, enjoying the
way your nipples harden as I take them into my mouth. I'll give them the attention they deserve,
making you beg for me to be inside you. I'll end with your mouth as I slam so hard into you that every
part of you hands itself over to me, knowing I'm the only man that can satisfy you like this.”

I rub myself harder and harder with every word he delivers.
“I want it rough, Jay. I want it so deep inside me that there is nothing else to think about but how

you overtake my body and consume me.”

I hear him groaning and panting, vigorously stroking himself.
“Lily, baby,” he's breathless in a way that tells me he's close.
“I want you to pull out and come all over me. I want to see how good I make you feel.”
“Oh, fuck,” Jay moans and his release has mine shortly following. I pull my pillow to my mouth,

biting into it to keep from crying out loud.

“That was hot, Lily,” he pants. “But I think somehow I want you more than I did when I called.”
I know what he means. It has only reminded me of how our bodies connect when they are

together, how incredible it feels to have his hands, body, and lips on me and inside me.

We stay silent for a few minutes, content just to hear the other breathing, then we start talking

about random mundane things until we start to nod off. I think we both might finally get a good night's
rest.

Chapter 11

Saturday, March 1
7:19pm

“Is that guy going to be there? The one Naomi keeps trying to set you up with?” Jay asks when I

tell him I'm getting ready for a party at Naomi's brother's place.

“Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's why she was so persistent that I go.” I'm very close to Naomi's

family and go to most parties they have, so I know the only reason she kept pestering me about it had
to be because of Nate.

“It's really fucking hard for me to not get on a plane right now and take you to that party, making

sure every male there knows you're mine,” he grinds out, working his jaw. “Seriously, Lily, my
temperature's rising at the idea of some guy even looking at you.”

“You know it doesn't matter, right? That I'm not interested in him, or anyone? I only want you.”

Sometimes Jay's possessiveness is hot and sometimes it makes me wary, afraid he'll try to control
where I go and who I talk to.

He doesn't answer and I can hear him pacing the floor.
“Do you not want me to go?” I'm fearful to ask, but it's important I know his answer in case I

need to make it clear that nobody controls what I do but me.

“No,” he sounds confused. “Why wouldn't I? I mean, do I like that you're going to a party with

other guys? Hell fucking no. Am I going to be thinking about who's hitting on you all night? Every
fucking second. But I wouldn't want you not to go just because I have jealousy issues.”

“I think I just fell more in love with you, Jay.” And I have. It's overwhelming, the ferocity with

which I love him, how rooted into me he has become in such a short amount of time, but I'm not sure it
could have been any other way with him.

“Lily.” Jay's voice turns dead serious and I can hear he's stopped pacing, “I need you to be

honest with me.”

“Of course.”
“Why does Noami want you with this guy so bad?”
I hadn't a clue what Jay was going to ask, but that sure wasn't it.
“Softened truth or the hard truth?”
“With you? Hard. Always.”
I laugh at how suggestive he made that.
“He recently broke up with his girlfriend and was asking about me. Naomi remembers the mad

crush I had on him and thinks it's time I started dating again.”

“Didn't you say Noami doesn't approve of anyone? So why him?”
“Yes, but he's been her brother's longest friend and she knows what a great guy he is.”
“Oh,” is Jay's quiet reply. “What makes him so great?”
This is an awkward conversation to be having with Jay. I don't understand why he wants to know

all this. Inquiring too much about something is my thing. “Um, well, he owns and runs a martial arts
studio and twice a week gives free lessons at the women's shelter Stevie volunteers at, and gives any
child who can't afford it free lessons. He's basically always been a really personable, giving, kind
person.”

The silence that follows makes me wish that I had toned down my honesty.
“He's who you would have ended up with if I hadn't been selfish and had kept my distance from

you,” he utters, dry and matter-of-fact.

Shit, I should have known Jay would turn this into him not feeling good enough for me. How do I

make him understand he's all my heart wants, that's he's the only man I could ever love this deeply?
We complete the other in ways no one else ever could, teaching one another things about ourselves
we wouldn't have known otherwise.

Just as I'm about to share all this and pour my heart out to him, Stevie and Naomi come bursting

into my bedroom, giggling and ready to go party.

I wave them out of my room so I can finish talking to Jay, “Give me a minute. I'll meet you at the

car.”

Of course they ignore me and come closer.
“Is that the guy you keep secretly talking to?” Stevie questions, trying to sneak a peak at the

screen.

I shoo her away with my hand as Naomi comes tromping over, “No way, Lily. I'm not letting

whoever that is to make you depressed and ruin our evening.”

Naomi snatches my phone, “I don't know who you are or why you keep calling her, but it needs to

stop.”

I claw at her to get the phone back, but she's quick and heads out of my room.
“She lives for these calls, and doesn't want to leave the house on her free time in case she misses

one.”

“Naomi!” I cry, chasing after her. Damn her, I'm sick of her thinking I need her to hold my hand

through life.

“Then when you do call,” she keeps going, ignoring me and walking further away, “she's

depressed afterwards. If you care for her, let her live her life. Stop making her pine away for you.
You don't know her. I do. She has the biggest heart out of anyone I know, and you're playing tug of
war with it. There's this great guy that's genuinely interested in her, and I think she'd be interested too
if you didn't keep messing with her head. Let her go–”

I finally snatch it back.
“Baby, please don't listen to her. It's not like that,” I quickly explain into the phone, desperate to

make things right, but Jay's already hung up.

I blink at the phone, opened-mouthed in disbelief Naomi just did that, and then I get angry.

Furious, really. A seething ball of rage.

I snap my head and burn Naomi down with my heated glare.
“What gives you the right to fucking do that!” I yell, taking she and Stevie by surprise. “Just

because your love life is all over the place right now does not mean you need to take me and Jay
down with you! Who gives a fuck if I miss him and I get sad after our phone conversations. You had
no right!” I've never yelled like this before. My skin is inflamed and I can feel my veins bulging out of
my face and neck, “Get out of my fucking house!”

Naomi covers her mouth and her eyes get wide, “I'm so sorry, Lily. I thought I was helping–”
“Figure out your own damn life before you fuck with mine! Now get out!” I scream unnecessarily

loud, pointing at the door, “OUT!”

“Lily, I'm sorry, please–”
“Out!”
She doesn't try any more and quickly exits.

Stevie goes to follow her but stops at the door. “This isn't me choosing sides...” she trails off,

conflicted in what is the right thing to do.

I take in a deep breath and pinch the bridge of my nose, “I know. You love her. I would do the

same thing. Go make sure she's okay. I understand.”

“Thank you. I love you. It's been Jay this whole time, huh?”
I shrug and let the tears fall. “I love him,” I choke out, more upset with the way I yelled at my

best friend.

Stevie runs to me and gives me a tight hug, “Let me go check on Naomi, then I'll come back and

we can take away our relationship trouble with the only two men who are always there for us.”

“Jack and the Captain?” I sniffle.
Stevie laughs, “I was thinking more like Ben and Jerry, but that works too.”
Once she leaves I collapse on the couch, staring down at my phone, praying he'll call me back.
He never does.

Chapter 12

Saturday, March 22
8:16am

I shuffle into the kitchen to get my morning coffee. It's been three weeks with no phone calls. If

Naomi thought I got depressed after our calls, well that's mild compared to how I'm doing now. Sure I
desperately miss him, but more importantly, those calls let me know he's alive. Now I haven't a clue
and it's slowly eating away at me.

Seth's already ransacking the fridge for food.
I pour myself a mug and fan out yesterday's mail that I was too tired to look through last night.
“Did my skateboarding magazine come?” Seth asks, chomping into an apple behind me.
“Doesn't look like it.”
“Bummer.” He goes to walk away but stops, pulling up an envelope. “Why is a private bank in

San Fransisco sending you mail?”

I shove aside the catalog I had started leafing through and snatch the envelope from his hand.
It's from Cole Private Bank and Trust.
With shaky hands I rip the top off.
Seth's dangerously close to my personal space, his chomping echoing in my ear, his breath hot on

my neck – it's really hard to not smack him right now.

I pull out the folded papers. From the thinness of it I'd guess it's only two or three pages.
It's a statement.
It's a statement for my bank account that holds fifteen thousand dollars.
“Is this for real?” Seth leans forward, squinting. “How the fuck did you get that?”
I'm too flabbergasted to respond or scold him for his language. I have to blink a few times to

make sure I'm seeing this right.

Why do I have this money?
This isn't sitting well with me, not one bit.
I hurry to my room and grab my cell, dialing the bank's number at the top of the page.
Customer service answers.
“I need to speak with Mr. Cole, please?”
“You need to contact him through his direct line, ma'am.”
“Can you transfer me?” I plead, desperation pouring out.
“No ma'am, you need–”
I cut her off, not needing to hear the rest, “Can I have the number?”
“I'm not at liberty to do that. I can get my supervisor for you?”
“Mr. Cole knows me,” I try, needing her to understand how important it is I speak with him.

“Tell him Lily Evans needs to speak with him immediately.”

“Sorry ma'am, but we aren't permitted to do that.”
I try not to cry out in frustration, she's only doing her job. It wouldn't be fair to her if I lost my

patience.

“Okay, maybe you can help me out. Can you tell me when my account was set up?” Please be

when I was in San Fransisco and not recently.

“Of course, can you please give me your account number?”
I read off the numbers and anxiously wait for her to pull it up.
Seth has been standing at my door, watching me acting like a crazy person this whole time, but it

doesn't stop the madness that's threatening to overtake me.

“Okay Ms. Evans, I'm going to transfer you to Mr. Briggs. He handles your account.”
I open my mouth to ask her why she can't just tell me, but I'm already on hold listening to

classical music.

Don't freak out. This is most likely what Jay had you secretly sign, it doesn't mean anything.
“Ms. Evans,” a friendly man's voice picks up, “Andrew Briggs, your account advisor. What can I

help you with today?”

“I need to know why I have this money and when it was activated.” I skip any pleasantries,

needing answers.

“Oh, I'm sorry, was that not what you had wanted? I have here that you wanted fifteen transferred

to your account from your trust every month, but I can talk to your investors about more if you'd like?”
He sounds nervous, thinking I'm upset with him, that this isn't how I wished my money to be handled.

“My trust?” My voice squeaks, my nerves in shambles.
“Yes, the one set up for you last month.”
I swallow into my dry, thick throat, “How much is my trust for?”
“Well, it's new so you can't be expecting much return yet. It's still close to the original three

million you put in.”

“Excuse me?” I practically choke on the words – clearly I heard him wrong.
“Well, these things take time Ms. Evans. You have made interest, but you won't really see a

significant change for awhile,” he continues, still sounding fearful I'm upset with my account.

“It doesn't show you how I got my trust does it?” I almost hang up, not wanting to hear the

answer.

“No ma'am. That's confidential and I don't have access.”
“Is it possible for you to transfer me to Mr. Cole?”
“I'm sorry, but I don't have that authority.”
Of course he doesn't.
“Does anybody I can talk to?”
“I can leave a message with his assistants, but they won't get back to you until Monday or later.”
“Can I talk to one of them?”
“Sorry again Ms. Evans, but Mr. Cole doesn't take part in the main banking and doesn't allow us

access to himself. The only thing I can do is forward a message.”

“Fine. Find a way for him to know Lily Evans wants to speak with him ASAP.”
“Yes, ma'am. I'm sorry if you're not happy–”
I quickly interrupt, “You've been great. I just have a personal matter I need to discuss with him.”
He becomes relieved, “I'm happy to hear that. Anything else I can do for you?”
“No. Thanks.” I hang up. Is that why Jay was so secretive? He knew I wouldn't accept this

money? My brain keeps trying to make me believe the worst has happened and that he wanted me to
have this money if something happened to him, but I won't allow myself to go there. Not yet. It can't be
because he's gone, it just can't. Wouldn't Ben have the decency to inform me? What if he's dead too?
No, I would think the bank would know at least that.

Oh, shit.
I quickly go to the living room and fire up the computer, ready to do some research that might

give me clues to if anything happened to Jay or Ben.

Seth follows, intrigued with what's going on, while I search for answers on the world wide web.
“Who's Benedict Cole?” Seth munches in my ear, increasing my insanity level.
I continue ignoring him, scanning if any sites mention an injury or death. After twenty minutes of

searching I find nothing out of the ordinary.

I do another search, browsing San Fransisco news sites for anything suspicious.
Nothing.
Well that's good, but it doesn't ease my worry that something happened to Jay.
I'm calling. I don't care if I promised Jay I wouldn't. It's worth having him yell and get pissed at

me.

The line rings once before taking me straight to the Cole Private Bank and Trust automated

system.

Goddammit! Nothing is simple when it comes to that man!
I turn to Seth, “What would you do if you couldn't find the answers you were looking for, but

desperately needed?”

He gives me a mischievous wiggle of his brows, “I'd go to the source, of course.”
I jump up and wrap my arms around him, “Brilliant!”
Jay never forbid me from coming to him. Sure, it was implied, but this is what he gets for only

giving me the bare minimum of information and not contacting me for three weeks.

I look up flights to San Fransisco. The next plane leaves Phoenix airport in two hours, giving me

plenty of time to get there. I order the ticket, talking to Seth as I do, “Can you tell Mom I'm having a
girl's weekend?”

“You want me to lie to Mom?”
“We both know this wouldn't be the first time.”
“I know, I just wasn't expecting that from you. You've always been the follow the rules, do what

you're told person.”

“Mm,” I mumble, half listening as I type in my credit card information. “So will you or won't

you?”

“Of course I will.”
“Good,” I rush to the front door, grabbing my car keys and wallet.
“Hey, sis?”
I stop right before slamming the door, frustrated that he's slowing me down, “What?”
“Be careful, okay?”
The worried expression on Seth's face has me going to give him a big squeeze, squishing him in

my arms, “I will.”

“And you're still wearing your pajamas,” he snickers.
I look down. Oops, it appears that I am.
Inside my bedroom I throw on underwear, jeans, and long sleeve shirt, stuffing my wallet in my

front pocket, stopping to brush my teeth and pull my hair back.

I hop down the hall putting my shoes on while I go, almost knocking Cody over on my way

through the door. As I'm backing out – tires screeching, the whole dramatic bit – I slam on my brakes
to stare at Jay's old place.

First things first: find out if this fucker really is following me and if I'm going to need to ditch

him.

I drive my car at the speed limit, my leg bouncing with the adrenaline flooding my body. I park at

the nearby grocery store and wait a beat before getting out. I casually look around, but don't see his
car. I pull out my phone to call Seth and ask him if the neighbor's car is still in the driveway when the
car pulls into the lot.

Holy shit, I think he really is following me. I kind of expected to get in a good laugh for being

paranoid.

Okay, new plan.
I stroll into the grocery store, hoping that my nerves aren't visible. I head towards the toilet paper

aisle, thinking that would be a good reason for rushing here. You can't live without TP, right?

Every so often I sneak a peek at the mirrors on the ceiling. The third time I lock eyes with my

neighbor, who's a few rows over. I quickly advert mine, pretending I wasn't paying attention.

My neighbor appears so normal, his looks pleasant but not memorable. His demeanor's always

distant; however, it never would have made me think anything other than him being an anti-social kind
of guy. It makes me wonder how many dangerous people you pass in a day and don't even know it.

Hmm, well that's not really something I care to think too heavily on.
I feign interest in comparing the cost of two brands, finally deciding on the one I want.
I keep expecting my heart to beat erratically but it never does, almost as though it's getting used to

the adrenaline surges and isn't phased anymore. I mean, don't get me wrong, it's still frantically
beating, but it's nothing like it would have been before Jay. I'm not sure if that's a good thing. I don't
like the idea that this kind of situation is something my body is growing used to.

I don't look back as I pay or when I get into my car. I'm glancing in the rear view mirror the

whole ride home, but my neighbor never comes into view.

Once I'm safely inside my house, I look out my kitchen window just as the neighbor's pulling

back into his driveway.

“Boys!” I shout, turning around to find my brothers.
“Yeah!” They yell in unison from the living room.
I go to them, a plan formulating, “I need your help.”
“With what?” Cody pauses the video game they've started.
“I need you to be my diversion.”
This now has Seth's full attention.
“Okay...” I lick my lips, ready to reveal more than I probably should, “The new neighbor has

been following me.”

Seth's eyebrows raise and his eyes twinkle in excitement. Cody looks like I've finally let my

brother's antics rub off on me.

“I'm not sure why he is, but the last time someone followed me I was kidnapped.”
I watch Cody register what I'm talking about while Seth yells out, “I knew it! I knew those guys

weren't who they said they were! I even told mom that she shouldn't have let you go! Ha!”

I give him a glare that has him shutting his trap.
“I need to get to the airport and I don't want him following or knowing where I went.”
“So what do you want from us?” Cody asks apprehensively.
“You're going to distract him enough that I can get away.”
“Sweet!” Seth fists the air.
“I was thinking you guys could go over – but not enter,” I warn, “for a reason I haven't come up

with yet, then when you have him distracted I can get away–”

“What if he has a tracking device on your car?” Seth points out, getting restless with excited

energy.

“I already thought of that. I'm going to get Stevie or Naomi to come pick me up and take me

there.”

Seth nods in approval.
“Who the hell are you?” Cody questions, completely taken back. “I'm beginning to think Seth was

right about alien abduction.”

Seth shoots him a scowl, “Hey, alien abductions are a very serious matter and shouldn't be taken

so lightly.”

“I wasn't abducted, I just fell in love.” There's probably not much of a difference.
They both begin flipping out and twenty questions flood me, both wanting to know why some

dude is following me, why I was kidnapped, and who our old neighbor really is.

My only response to their ambush is, “Our old neighbor is not a man you want to fuck with and he

taught me to be the same.”

This has them staring at me as though I'm Marty McFly and I just arrived in a DeLorean from the

future.

I use the moment of silence to call Stevie and get her voice mail, stupidly forgetting she works

most Saturdays. I then call Naomi, who answers, surprised it's me as we are having a bit of a rough
patch in our friendship. She forgave me for blowing up the way I did, but then got mad at me because
I stood firm in my belief that it wasn't her place to get involved. I tried getting her to talk about her
feelings for Stevie, but Naomi doesn't do feelings, which caused another argument between us. We've
never fought like this before, but then again I used to take what ever was thrown at me.

“I need your help,” I get straight to the point, not having time for anything else.
“Okay, what's up?”
“I need a ride to the airport, like right now.”
“Uh, sure. Why–”
“Come. Now.” I hang up, not to be a bitch but my flight leaves in less than two hours and it can

take a good thirty minutes to get to the airport, and then I have to check in and all the hassle that goes
with that.

I hand Cody my phone, “I won't be bringing this with me. Text Mom later that I'm at the girls' for

the weekend and keep it silent in your room to respond to any texts she or Dad might send.”

He nods, still not sure who I am.
“Now go distract our neighbor.”
My brothers rush to the door.
“Wait, guys. We need a reason for you to go over there,” I holler after them.
Cody opens the door, “Relax, Lily. We've totally got this. Wasting peoples' time is what we do

best.”

Very true.
“Okay, but text Naomi when you're safely back inside and if the neighbor gets in his car to

follow.”

They nod, pausing to look each other straight in the eyes and share some kind of silent

conversation that has them nodding and fist bumping before opening the door and joking around like
they always do. I just hope whatever just happened between them doesn't make me regret involving
them.

I wait a few minutes before exiting, heading to the trunk of my car like I'm looking around for

something in it while waiting for Naomi to arrive, making it easier to immediately take off.

I can hear my brothers enthusiastically telling the neighbor all about the scary guy who lived here

before and if the landlord told him about the old man who died inside a decade ago and how they
believe he's still haunting the place. They could go on and on like this, taking truths and twisting them
into crazy stories.

The familiar sound of Naomi's motorcycle comes around the corner and I shut the trunk. My

brothers' arms are moving wildly around as they inform the new neighbor all about our mysterious,
paranormal cul-de-sac.

Noami goes to turn off the engine but I stop her, “We're leaving.”
I pull the extra helmet out, put it on, and hop on the bike.
Noami speaks at the first light, “What's this about, Lily? You've got me worried.”
“I'll explain more when we get there.”
We don't hit any traffic and make it to the airport with forty-five minutes to spare.
I swing a leg off and put away the helmet, “Thanks Naomi, I really appreciate it.”
“Does this mean we're done fighting?”
“Please, I hate it.”
She jumps off her bike to bear hug me.
“Naomi, I don't need you taking care of me,” I say into her curly hair. “I'm a big girl, I can do

things on my own.”

“This must be what it feels like when a parent realizes their child doesn't need them anymore.”
“You're one of my best friends, I will always need you. I just don't need you to handle my

problems anymore.”

She nods, letting me go, “I know, I think it's left over guilt from not stepping in last time.”
I don't respond, because I'm glad she didn't; I wouldn't have met Jay otherwise or discovered the

strength I had within me.

I stop her before she turns on the engine to leave, “Can I ask you something?”
“Anything.”
“You know you've been breaking Stevie's heart, right?”
The look in her eyes is the only answer I need.
“Do you feel the same way? Honesty here, Naomi. You owe me that.” Where is this

assertiveness coming from? I hardly recognize myself.

“I've had a crush on her since the third grade,” she reluctantly reveals. “That's why I stood up for

her at school, besides what they were doing being wrong. I was so pissed and wanted to protect her.
Those feelings have only gotten stronger since then.”

“I'm not going to step in, it's not my place.” I pause to give her a look because that's what she

would do, “But you need to talk to each other. Share what you're really feeling and figure out where
to go from there, because what ever is going on right now isn't working. I'm not losing my two best
friends because one of them doesn't know how to express what's going on inside of her. For once in
your life Naomi, open up to someone.”

“Jesus, Lily. When did you grow up?”
I shrug, not really sure, feeling like I still have a lot of growing up to do.
She gives me a one-dimpled smile, “When you get back, you better still have this attitude you've

acquired.”

I wave a finger at her, “When I get back, you better have your shit together.”
Naomi gives a curt nod, “Deal.”
I do the same, “Deal.”
Then she gives me a huge two-dimple smile that I return just as big.

“Love you,” I declare, blowing her a kiss good-bye.
“Ditto,” giving back the usual she's used ever since we were kids. We had watched the movie

Ghost and she became excited to find a way to say she feels the same, without ever having to say the
words.

At that moment my brothers send a text that they are home and the neighbor took off ten minutes

ago.

I head inside to check in, knowing I won't feel safe until the plane takes off and my neighbor

hasn't gotten on.

Luckily I'm one of the first to board, and I keep an eye at the entrance, breathing easier when he

doesn't show.

I have a feeling the two hour flight will be the longest of my life. In the past couple of hours my

nerves have gone from shocked by the bank statement, fearful the worst has happened, adrenaline rush
over my neighbor, and now...well, now I'm getting pissed that I'm flying all the way to San Fransisco
just to get some answers. This is the last time I let Jay Lincoln shut me out. I can hardly wait to give
him a piece of my mind.

Chapter 13

1:39pm

I barge into Cole Private Bank and Trust like I own the place. I stand directly under the four

cameras centered on the door, making sure he has no doubt I'm here, and that I'm here to see him.

It's barely been a minute before a single guard pushes open the door that leads to the stupid gold

elevator. I don't wait for him to reach me, heading straight for him and leaving behind a trail of
wildfire. I don't acknowledge him when our paths meet, continuing my tantrum to the door, stopping
inches from the ridiculous elevator waiting for my inspection.

The guard enters, avoiding eye contact as he places his hand on the scanner and enters his

personal code. He eyes me to do the same. My brows scrunch together, wondering why he doesn't
inspect me. He jerks his head toward the scanner, expression clear that he wants me to move it along.
I do what he wants and we repeat it on the other side.

“Uh, I have a gun on me.” I so totally don't, but I'm very confused right now and I'm not taking any

chances that they think I'm concealing anything on my body, giving them an invitation to shoot me in
the head.

He ignores me.
“And extra ammo,” I add, expecting a reaction, expecting him to demand a strip search.
Still no response.
The doors open and the guard steps aside for me to walk through, arms extending out in a

welcoming manner as though I'm entering the iron gates of heaven and not a short hallway.

I nervously glide one foot out, half expecting it to be some evil trap. When both feet are safely in

the hall I turn around, watching as the elevator door closes and takes the guard with it.

What the hell is going on? It was made very clear last time that I would get shot for any

shenanigans, and this time they could care less? My confusion has my adrenaline spiking, fearing
what's behind the door leading to Ben's office.

I take in a deep breath before I turn back around to face the end of the hall, where two men are

guarding the door I plan to enter. I take a hesitant step forward and flinch back when one of them
draws a hand, but it's only to open the door for me to enter.

Again – what the hell is going on?!
I walk through the passageway warily, and this time instead of Ben's two assistants ignoring me,

they look up with smiles full of sunshine and ass-kissing.

I stride past them, ready at any minute for someone to stop me from entering Vault's office.
Nobody does.
For the third time – what the hell is going on?! I should have guns pointed at my head by now.
I barge in waving the bank statement in the air, not paying attention to anything but the figure

sitting behind the massive, dark wood desk and it's magnificent backdrop of the one-of-a-kind view
that captivated me over eight weeks ago.

“Benedict Vault Cole, what the hell is this?” I demand as I continue barreling through the room

towards him, ready to be ruthless until I get answers that satisfy me.

His lips tilt up, tugging on the outskirts, trying to remain level, “Benedict Vault Cole?” Now he's

trying not to laugh.

I puff the hair out of my face, “I didn't know your middle name and I needed you to know I meant

business.”

Ben smirks, leaning back in his chair and resting his hands on the arm rests, “Nobody's ever tried

to scold me in my office before, not even my own parents. Another first for you, Ms. Evans.”

“Lily,” I clarify sternly before shoving the paper as close to his face as I can get, “Do you mind

explaining this to me?” I slap it down on his desk, ruffling the papers under and around it. I step back
and cross my arms, giving him my most ferocious glare.

He takes a sip from his crystal tumbler, trying to conceal his laughter. I'm not finding this

situation humorous. I tap my foot to let him know I'm waiting for a reply.

He gives me another dimpled smirk, lifting the paper to examine it, “It's your monthly statement.”

He places it back down, not understanding my outrage.

I lift my brows, imploring him to be more forthcoming, “I need more information than that. Why

do I have this money?” My voice cracks and threatens to lose it at any moment. Dammit, I refuse to
lose it.

“Jay never explained it to you?”
I swallow the lump in my throat and shake my head no.
“He wanted to make sure you were secure for life. Had me set up a trust in your name, with a

specific amount to be transferred to a main account that you could live off of.”

My Darth Vader breathing returns, fear stabbing it's way in. I lick my lips and bite into the bottom

one, pulling it all the way in, hoping to bite hard enough that the pain will stop my mind from going to
that dark place it's been avoiding for the past six hours.

“Is...” I suck in air through my nose, squeezing my lids so tightly that it almost has my brows

touching the apples of my cheeks. “Is...is he...” I can't get the words out. Maybe it's better if I don't
ask. I can turn around right now, leave, go home, and pretend like I never got that statement. I'll wait
for Jay to come for me. I could go through life for a long time in denial, pushing back any negative,
foreboding thoughts.

I could drink. Yeah, I could just drink all day, every day, letting my emotions and mind go numb.

Brilliant. Except it's not. It's a horrible idea...but none the less an appealing one.

For a moment I let myself feel the impact of his absence, of a life without him, but I can't do it.

Jay is my future. If my future has been taken I need to know.

“Ben,” I quietly ask, finally opening my eyes, hoping they reveal what my deepest fear is.

“Please, tell me. Why do I have this money?”

His eyes soften in pity and his lips curve down in sympathy. It's worse than if he took a blade and

cut out my heart.

“Sweetheart,” he's too loving and compassionate, I can't take it. I need a cold, straightforward

answer.

“Stop,” I half sob, half choke on the word. “Tell me the truth. Is he gone?” The last word tumbles

out of my mouth, forcing my hand to slap over it, eyes wide, wishing I could take it back.

Silence overtakes the massive room.
“Ben?” I challenge, needing a response but at the same time not wanting one, “Please tell me

what this money means?”

The axis of my existence stills and then tilts towards the man who can bring me answers.
That is, until I hear the gruff sound of an overly infuriated man behind Benedict Cole's office

doors.

“What the fuck do you mean you don't know where she is?! FIND HER!!!” The voice explodes,

making my whole body tremble. Not from fear, but from relief; a relief that almost brings me to my
knees. “I don't give a fuck how you lost her!”

I can almost feel his fury from here. I slowly turn to face the front doors, wide eyed, hand to my

throat, praying that I'm not delusional enough in my love that I'm imagining all this.

“Find her, or pray I don't find you!” The voice shouts into the phone as it throws open the doors

to the CEO of Cole Private Bank and Trust.

The ironclad form of Jay Lincoln stands in the doorway, phone inches from his mouth, skin a

raging curtain of red, veins popping, murder flaring in his eyes. “Vault, we have a fucking
prob..lem...” his voice lowers and comes out slow and robotic as he takes in his surroundings and
sees me staring at him. His maddened features slip into stunned silence.

We both stay rooted in our spots, eyes glued to the other.
“She's here you shithead,” he growls into the phone. He shoves it into his pocket, eyes never

leaving mine.

I try to hush the choir singing in my veins at the sight of him, but it doesn’t help when the high

soprano is hitting a five-octave in the center of my core. I didn't realize how much I missed everything
about him; I've missed him so much that even though he's standing in front of me I still hurt, worse
than before. I've missed his beautifully sculpted body that screams destruction; his northern light eyes;
the three scars that mark his face, determining his destiny; everything right down to his uniform of
jeans, gray shirt, and black combat boots.

He looks bigger. Is that even possible, or has it been so long that I don't remember just how huge

he is?

He definitely looks tired. His eyes droop in the way people's do when they are emotionally

spent. Other than that he looks exactly the same, cursing and easily letting his anger erupt.

How long have we been standing here staring at each other? I don't think one of us has blinked.

Why hasn't he come to me? Why haven't I gone to him?

I'm the first to blink and that draws us out of our trance. Jay's expressionless face hardens and his

jaw grinds back and forth, a scowl working his upper lip. I'm having a flashback to the day we first
met, except this time I don't cower back. I stand up straighter and match his features.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” He grinds out.
“It's good to see you too,” I snap, pretending that he didn't just twist the shit out of my heart with

his words and demeanor. I seize the paper off Ben's desk.

I begin my tantrum stomping, ready to give Jay a piece of my mind. Like why the hell do I have

three million dollars in my name! Not once in my life did I ever think I would be pissed off to be a
millionaire.

I open my mouth as I'm fast approaching him, but I recall his anger that brought him into this

room.

My feet skid to a stop, “You were the one having me followed!”
“Babe...” is his reply, his face showing me the answer is obvious.
“Think you could have let me know that? Dammit, Jay!” I stomp my foot, pointing an angry finger

at him with the same hand that's clutching the paper, crinkling it in my grasp, other hand at my hip, “I
was seriously freaked out by him! All you had to do was have him say, 'Jay sent me.' That's it!”

“Babe,” he has the nerve to say again, with the same expression of this being self-evident.
“Don't you babe me, mister!” Now my hand has formed a full fist, showing him I'm ready to take

him out if need be.

He looks up to the ceiling as though he's asking for the strength to deal with me, “If you knew

why he was there, you would have been over there every day with pie, trying to become his new best
friend.”

Humph, he thinks he knows me so well. I don't care if he's right.
Jay's trying to suppress his entertainment over my tantrum.
I'm glad he's enjoying this.
Jerk.
My fingers scrunch even tighter together, crinkling the paper further and reminding me why I'm

here.

I make my way closer, stopping a few feet away and tilting my head back, almost giggling at how

it keeps having to tilt further and further until the crown of my head hits the start of my spine.

“Care to explain this to me?” I slam the statement into his chest, giving it a push, but of course he

doesn't budge. Damn him and his muscular awesomeness.

His hand clutches over mine, crumpling the paper and my hand. The outer edges of his lips break

out across his face into a smile that makes his eyes glow, “You're so fucking cute when you're mad.”

I try to rip my hand away but Jay holds on tighter, pulling me into him and wrapping his arms

around me, bringing his nose and mouth to the top of my head. He groans as he inhales me. I become
limp in his warm arms, pressing my body closer to his, willing myself not to become a blubbering
mess. I inhale him just as deeply, allowing his arms to cage me in.

Mm, he smells the same, like masculinity with a dash of mystery and a spice that I've never been

able to figure out.

I can't believe I'm in his warm, powerful arms again.
One of his hands moves up to feel the side of my face, his thumb trailing my lips before bringing

it around to comb through my hair and then compress my head firmly against his body. I wrap my arms
around him and hold on for dear life.

“I'm just going to go to my office,” Ben informs us as he walks across the marble floor.
I pull back just enough to turn my head in his direction, “This isn't your office?”
Jay laughs his deep barrel laugh that rumbles inside his body, shaking mine, “You should have

been a reporter. I've never met anyone that asks as many questions as you do.”

“No, sweetheart. My real office is over there.”
I follow his finger to the only door on the right wall. My body curves around Jay, holding onto

his biceps for support to watch Ben retreat behind it. I want to follow him and see what his real office
looks like.

“I'll show it to you later,” Jay offers, reading my thoughts.
I curve back in and beam up at him, “I love how well you–”
I'm cut off by Jay's mouth attacking mine, forcefully and rough, his scruff grating my skin.
I drape my arms around his neck and pull my body up. Jay takes hold of my ass, giving it a firm

squeeze before lifting it so I can wrap my legs around him, smashing our bodies as tight as they can
get.

My arms circle his neck to the point that I can practically clasp my hands together in the front.

His arms do the same, crushing me so hard to him that the air almost gets knocked out of me.
Somewhere during all this our tongues have laced together, working their magic. Eventually we have
to stop or we'll pass out from lack of oxygen, but neither of us does. Air seems unimportant right now;
kissing is way more vital.

I'm surprised when I'm the first to break away. Both our chests are hitting the other from our over

excited breathing. I begin kissing every square inch of his face, his scruff like sandpaper on my chin

and lips; I love it just as much now as I did the first time I felt it.

I didn't even know we had been moving until my back is slammed down on one of Ben's couches

with Jay crashing down on me. His calloused hands feel the skin under my shirt and an “ah” escapes
my lips. I had forgotten the pleasurable tingles his touch brings me. Another one slips out when he
sucks and bites along my neck. His mouth and tongue move along my jaw, his hands going from light
strokes to kneading into my flesh as they re-familiarize themselves with my body. My nails are
digging into his shoulders, fighting the overpowering urge to rip his clothes off. His mouth's sucking
hard on the skin under my ear, no doubt leaving a mark. I wonder if he's purposely doing that, marking
what's his? Does he even view me as his anymore? I hate the uncertainty I always seem to have with
our relationship. I need to get over my insecurities.

There is a rapping noise from the main door, but Jay doesn't stop his mouth from finding mine.
The door handle clicks and a male clears their throat, “Sir?”
“Fuck off!” Jay growls into my mouth.
A hiccup of a giggle escapes from my mouth and he smiles along my lips.
“Main level security has some question about the memo you sent out.”
“Of course they fucking do,” Jay mumbles. He pushes himself up and off the couch, swiping his

head, eyes grazing my entire body before giving his attention to the man at the door. “I'll be out in a
second.”

The door clicks shut and Jay scrubs his facial scars, scrunching his eyes closed, causing his

forehead to wrinkle. He grumbles words that sound like “eight fucking weeks,” but I'm not certain
that's what I heard. He drops his other hand to his hip and peers down at me, “I'll be right back. Vault
should have his computer on, so you can use the Internet or whatever if you get bored.”

He admires my body again before making his way to the door. I sit up and view his broad back

and lick my lips at the muscles that bulge out of his shirt.

He pauses to speak to me, never looking back as he does, “Be prepared to tell me why the fuck

you're here and not at home.”

The door slams shut behind him. Did he seriously just have the audacity to slam a door at me?!

It's been eight weeks since we've seen each other and he acts like I'm a nuisance from the moment he
sees me.

My fingers trail along my swollen lips. I smile behind them. Well, maybe not the whole time. The

middle part of our reunion, I can say with certainty, I wasn't inconveniencing him; I'm pretty sure he
liked that part.

I fall back onto the couch, my smile hurting my cheeks. I was just in Jay's very alive arms. I hug

myself in happiness. He has some explaining to do to, like why the hell he gave me three million
dollars, but what I really hope is that we can finish what we started. Eight weeks is a long time to go
without those lips.

Chapter 14

4:09pm

Dear God, I'm bored. I guess telling someone you'll be right back doesn't mean the same to Jay as

it does to everyone else. Then again, I can't really be all that surprised. Jay has his own way that
usually contradicts the average person.

I browsed the Internet for awhile and almost checked my email, but I wasn't sure if it could be

traced. It seems silly to be paranoid about it, but Jay's already pissed at me and I don't need to add
more gasoline to the fire. I drank some of Ben's whiskey from his crystal decanter and came very
close to knocking on his office door, but he has that office for a reason and one of them might be for
privacy.

I spent a fair amount of time watching the wall of security screens. I had pulled up Vault's desk

chair that felt like I had my own personal ass cloud. I keep wondering if I can get away with stealing
it. I watched the screens show the happenings of the building from the main lobby, the offices on
various floors, and this level. It wasn't as exciting as I thought it was going to be, just people going
about their banking business. Vault's level is oddly very boring. The waiting area that houses his two
assistants has had zero action, and the two girls hardly glance away from their computer monitors,
busy at work. I don't look at the screen that displays this room; it's too weird seeing myself sitting
alone in this big room.

I want to check the two doors on the left wall to see if one of them is a bathroom, but I'm afraid

I'll get caught and they'll think I'm snooping.

I decide to go out the main door and see if one of Ben's assistants can tell me. I poke my head out

the door, so I can technically say I never left.

Wait a second. I'm not a child. Jay can't scold me for stepping outside to ask about a bathroom.
Well, okay, he can, and he probably will, but I'm an adult (something I continually feel the need

to remind myself).

I slide my foot hesitantly out the door, testing the water before I decide if I want to dive right into

the pool.

I'm being ridiculous, just step all the way out.
As I do I can't help but feel like a teenager sneaking out of her bedroom window.
The girl who's desk is on the right side of me is concentrating on entering information from the

paper next to her, unaware that I've entered. The other desk is vacant.

I clear my throat. “Uh, hi,” I lamely mumble. I hate how this whole situation makes me feel like a

kid needing to ask an adult for permission.

She scrunches up her nose and pushes up her glasses with her index finger as she looks up to

examine me.

Her eyes get wide and she jumps up, knocking over some paper and pens, hitting her knee on the

desk, and grimacing in pain.

“Miss Evans, what can I do for you?” She nervously squeaks, pushing up her glasses again with

her index finger before sweeping away the stray auburn strands that have fallen over her face from her
loose ponytail.

“I just wanted to know where a bathroom is?”

Her skin turns bright red, “I'm so sorry. Please, let me show you.” She awkwardly scurries

around her desk. There's something about her you can't help but smile at. She's so awkward it's cute.

“No need to show me, just point the way.”
She points a finger to the door on the left side of the empty desk, “It's the last door on the right

before the hall turns. Directly across from it is the door to Mr. Cole's office. Don't confuse the two,”
she warns, then taps her index finger to her lips, “Never mind, Miss Evans. I'm sorry, I forgot you
have Portkey access.”

What the hell is that? I'll have to ask after I finish in the bathroom. I rush out a thanks and hurry

towards the bathroom, closing the hall door behind me. There's only one door on the left wall, which
means that whole side is Ben's. Now I'm even more curious. I have to see it before I go.

All the doors I pass on my right are closed. One of the doors flies open and almost smacks me.

The guard Jay stole the gun from is standing there, the man Jay has told me he calls Asswipe.

Asswipe eyes me, a sneer shaping part of his lips, “Miss Evans, if you're looking for Lincoln he's

with his girlfriend right now.”

“Well good for him. I was headed for the bathroom,” I'm detached, successfully coming across as

uncaring despite the mental punch to my gut I just took.

I brush past him, heart revving into full gear, battling with myself to not ask him what he meant by

that, but I don't think I could handle it if he gave me an answer I didn't like.

I close the bathroom door behind me and lean against it.
Has Jay been dating another woman? Please no, please don't let him have found someone else

while we were separated.

Is that why he was so cold to me in the beginning and end of our encounter? Despite my jealousy

radar beeping, I have a hard time believing it.

I become aware of my fingers twisting Jay's ring around my middle finger. I stare at it and

remember what it meant for Jay to give me something like this. I remember how he told me he loved
me and saying something like that didn't come easy to him; it's huge that he expressed that to me. I
remember the phone calls and the words he spoke, expressing how much I mattered to him.

Trust me.
His words ring clear in my ears. How many times did he tell that to me? More than a handful.
He's right, I need to trust him and would want him to do the same for me. Getting jealous and

insecure without hearing the full story will only cause arguing, heartache, and unnecessary pain.

Trust: it's a bitch of a word.
I do what I came in here for and hurry back out, hoping to not encounter anyone else.
Ben's assistant is busy at work when I reenter the waiting area. I don't want to go back inside that

office where I'm alone, so I decide to engage her in conversation, “Thanks for the help.”

She jumps and pushes her glasses up. She gives me what I think is supposed to be a friendly

smile, but it's more of a twitchy grimace. “Of course, Miss Evans. Can I get you something to drink?”

“No, thank you. I had some of Ben's whiskey.”
A gasp starts in her chest and her eyes get wide. I can't tell if it's because I called him Ben or I

helped myself to his whiskey.

“And please, call me Lily,” I extend my hand out to her.
She rubs her hand on her thigh before offering it to me. Her hand sits loosely in mine, shy and

unsure of herself, “Harriet.”

I smile warmly at her and notice she relaxes, giving me a half-smile that's more genuine than the

first, “It's nice to meet you, Harriet.”

“Hattie,” she shrugs, shifting in her seat and pushing up her glasses like I'm making her nervous,

“Everyone calls me Hattie.”

“So, Hattie, how long have you worked for Ben?”
She blushes and looks down at her hands resting on her lap, “About eleven months.”
“Is he a cool boss? He seems like he could go either way.”
“Um...” her eyes dart around the room and she runs her top lip under her teeth, slowly dragging it

along.

I shake my head, feeling like an idiot, “I'm sorry, that's a really stupid question when you're at

work in a room full of cameras.”

Hattie looks relieved that I understand.
The door from the hall opens and we both jerk our heads around to see who's entering. A

beautiful platinum blond in a tight black business suit appears, sashaying over to her desk.

“Hey, Hattie, did you finish entering in–” she stops when she's behind her desk and notices me.

She plasters on a welcoming smile, “So sorry, Ms. Evans. I didn't see you there. Was I interrupting
something?”

What's with all the ass-kissing I'm receiving?
“Not at all. I was bored so I thought I would introduce myself.”
“Can I get you anything to drink?”
“No, thanks. Hattie already offered.”
She nods her head in approval, “Good. Please let us know if we can assist you in any way.”
“What did you mean earlier when you said I have Portkey access?” I remember to ask.
Hattie's nose bunches up, “That's the term we use for people who are free to come and go from

this level as they please.”

I poke myself in the chest and lift my brows, “I have that?”
She scrunches her face in confusion, “Well, yeah?”
“Are you a relative of Mr. Cole's?” The other one asks.
“No, just a friend.”
She leans forward in her desk, smirking, “Oh, really? I just assumed you were family because the

only people with that level of clearance are his personal guards and his parents. Oh, and his
siblings.”

I shrug, not understanding either.
“This is completely unprofessional, but are the two of you dating?”
The door next to her desk opens and once again all heads in the room jerk to see who it is.
Ben strolls in with papers in one hand and a crystal tumbler of amber liquor in the other. He

plops the stack on top of her desk, “I need this done before you leave today.”

She nods and gets straight to work.
Ben faces Hattie's desk and the stern, serious face he entered with vanishes when he sees me.
“Lily, you're still here,” his face breaks out in a dimple-showing grin that would make any

woman's heart skip a beat. “I was about to order something to eat. Do you have time to join me before
you leave?”

Oh god, am I expected to be on a plane ride home already?
“Sounds great,” I manage to say. I need some questions answered and I'm hoping Ben's the man to

answer them.

“Good. Hattie?”
She jumps, pushes up her glasses, and faces Ben, avoiding actually looking at him, instead

focusing on the edge of his shoulder, “Yes, sir?” Her voice timid and shy.

“Order my usual and show Ms. Evans the menu so she can choose what she would like.” He's so

curt with them, not at all like the Ben I know. I guess there's nothing like almost getting blown up and
shot down with numerous rifles to really bond you to a person.

Hattie nods and pulls out a binder full of menus.
“Come join me for a drink when you figure out what you want.”
“Okay, thanks Ben.”
He gives me another knee-buckling smile and heads to his office.
Hattie hands me the menu, her eyes glued to the back of Ben, cheeks getting rosier the longer she

stares.

I glance over the extensive menu, “What's good here?”
“I'm not sure. I've never eaten there, but Mr. Cole always gets the salmon.”
“Hattie?” Ben pauses, holding the door open, “Order something for you and Jessica too.”
Hattie turns twenty different shades of red. “O-o-kkay,” she stutters. “Thank you.”
He winks at her and I'm pretty sure if her hands weren't resting on the desk she would have

dissolved to the floor.

I think little Miss Hattie has a crush. Can't blame her. Ben has that way about him that probably

gets all women lusting after him. I know I would be if I wasn't so insanely in love with Jay.

The door closes and Hattie exhales like she's been holding her breath this whole time. She

swoons back into her chair, almost missing it and falling on her ass.

I hold in a giggle.
Jessica joins us, peering at the menu in my hands. I hand it over to her and she gives me a smile

of thanks, “He never offers us lunch, you should stop by more often. How long did you say you two
have been dating?”

“We aren't.”
Jessica cocks her head to the side, “And you're not family?”
“Nope.” I kind of like how confused I'm making them with who the hell I am. Nobody would ever

say Lily Evans is a woman of mystery and intrigue. Ever.

I can tell they're both waiting for me to expand, but I don't. I'm certain this is the only time this

will ever happen to me. It's silly, but it's kind of fun. “It was nice meeting you both.” I smile before
heading back to Ben's office. As I open the door I say over my shoulder, “I'll have whatever Ben is
having.” With that, I enter what I've decided to call Vault's office.

Ben's sitting in the same spot as the first time I met him, drinking from his tumbler. I get the

impression it never leaves his right hand. He's looking over a paper with the other.

When he hears me approach he sets the paper down next to him and gestures to the couch

opposite him, my drink sitting on the coffee table. “I used the same glass from earlier. Hope thats
okay,” he smirks and I blush.

I take the drink and sit, “You don't mind, do you?”
“That you helped yourself to my thirty-eight-year-old scotch?”
I can't tell if he's teasing me or not.
I sip the drink, but now I'm nervous and suck back more of a gulp, burning my throat and tearing

up my eyes.

“Careful, it'll knock you on your ass. Jay would probably like that though.”
The sip I just took comes spraying out in front of me, shocked that he just said that.
Ben only smirks, “You should know you just spit out about fifty dollars.”

“You know how ridiculous it is to pay that much for alcohol, right?”
“I have expensive tastes and more money than I know what to do with.” He takes a sip, “How

long are you here for?

“I'm not sure, I only bought a one way ticket. I guess it depends on the flight schedules.” This is

so awkward.

“Don't be ridiculous, Lily. You can use my jet.”
“No way.”
“Why? That's the whole reason I have one. And you are the woman who saved my life, after all.

Let me know when you plan on going and I'll make sure it's ready for you.”

“Are you mad I helped myself earlier?” I ask, tapping my glass, avoiding the subject of me

leaving. I need more Jay. A lot more.

“Not at all. You can buy me a new bottle for Christmas.”
I snort, “Like I could ever afford it. The best I can offer you is some Jack.”
He raises a brow, “Have you forgotten you're a rich woman now, Lily? My investors are quite

good at what they do. That amount will only grow over the years.”

At the mention of the money I take a few more sips, starting to feel a little fuzzy from the alcohol

and an empty stomach.

“Why didn't he just tell me about the money?”
“Jay doesn't talk about that money. I think he doesn't want to think about how his dad got it. He

won't even discuss how it's handled, always telling me to have my men do what's best. I think that's
foolish on his part, but I don't think he cares if someone loses it all. He doesn't touch that money
unless he has to.”

Ben gets up to refill my almost finished glass.
I hold on to it, “You don't have to do that, I'm capable of it myself.”
He maneuvers it from my grasp, “My mother raised me to be a gentleman. If a lady's in the room

and her glass is empty, you refill it.”

“I thought it was supposed to be the other way around.”
“Sweetheart,” Ben begins, low and sensuous, handing my drink back to me and sitting down.

“That's what men who are insecure in their manhood expect. A gentleman takes care of a woman,
ensures they feel important, and that all their needs are met before his own, because a gentleman is
fully aware of his manhood, and is reminded of it every night when his woman screams out his name
in ecstasy.”

Oh boy, Ben's definitely learned the art of seduction. I don't even know how to respond right

now.

Something drops to the ground and it shakes me from being completely enthralled with Ben and

getting lost in his arctic eyes.

“I'm so sorry,” Hattie mumbles, dropping to the floor to pick up the food she dropped, skin

flaming red, looking beyond mortified.

I wonder how much of that conversation she heard? Obviously enough to make the food slip out

of her hands.

Her back is facing us and she's on all fours gathering what fell. Normally around a man like Ben I

would assume if a woman's bent over with their dress tightly curving around their ass that it was done
on purpose, but with Hattie I think she only did it to hide her embarrassment.

Ben's eyes are zeroed in on it, drink half tilted to his lips, suspended in place.
Hattie hurries over and places the bag on the table, bending over and giving us a nice view of her

amble breasts while she checks to make sure the food suffered no damage during it's descent to the
ground. I peek over at Ben again to see him taking them in. He wets his lips, making his scrumptiously
full bottom lip glisten and appear even more suckable.

Ben clears his throat, “Did they include utensils this time?”
Hattie straightens and pushes her glasses up, “Yes, sir. Anything else I can get for you or Ms.

Evans?”

Vault looks to me and I shake my head no.
“We're fine,” he's curt and doesn't look at her when he responds, busy inspecting the food for

himself. “I need you to make sure the jet is ready for whenever Ms. Evans is ready to leave.”

“Yes, sir,” Hattie swiftly twirls around and walks at almost a run, tripping but able to use the

doorknob to steady herself. She barely opens the door to slide out of it.

I take the food Ben offers to me, “She has a nice ass.”
He rests back into the couch, ready to eat, “Who? Hattie?” He takes a bite, keeping his eyes on

his food.

“Mmhm,” I mumble with my mouth full.
“You were checking out her ass?”
“My two best friends like women. I've checked out many ladies asses in my time.”
Ben responds with a nod, as though that makes perfect sense and every girl's best friends are

lesbians.

“Is she always so timid and awkward?”
He laughs, “Yes, but she's brilliant at her job. My men always try to find ways to mess with her.

I'd feel bad if it wasn't so funny to watch her get flustered and red faced.”

I frown, “That's a little mean. You don't think she's been getting that kind of shit her whole life?

The girl can't take two steps without tripping on herself. And the whole,” I impersonate the nose
scrunching and glasses pushing, “isn't helping her any, although I think it's super cute on her.”

Ben is now frowning, “I suppose you're right. I never thought about it like that.”
We sit in silence eating our lunch. The way his brows are knitting together I can tell what I said

struck a cord with him.

“Can I get personal with you, Ben?”
He looks up at me from his food, “I don't do personal.”
Geez, where have I heard that one before.
“That's fine, but I'm still going to ask my question, and if you choose not to answer I won't bring

it up again, deal?”

Ben looks up to the ceiling as though he's praying for patience, “I see what Jay meant about you.”
“What? What'd he say? He talks about me?” I sit up straighter, eager to hear what Jay said.
“Lily,” Ben exhales, sounding exasperated, “Do I seem like someone that wants to sit around and

gossip with you?”

“No, not really.”
He's relieved that I understand and goes back to eating.
“So, what'd he say?”
Ben drinks more of his whiskey, trying to hide a grin, “The first day I met you–the day Jay came

to me for the dagger–he briefly told me about you. Said you didn't know when to keep your mouth shut
and mind your own business.”

Ouch, that kind of stung (even if it's true).
Ben continues, “The whole time he told me this he was grinning, and Jay doesn't grin. That's

when I had to meet you. I had to meet the woman that could make Jay Lincoln smile like a lovesick
fool.”

My smile lights up my whole face.
“I didn't think he would ever let himself find his one. I figured he would either die before he got

the chance, or he and Arianna would work out some kind of partnership. She's been in love with him
since the day she met him and the two of them could never keep their hands off each other, always
finding ways to meet up.”

Just like that my smile vanishes. I'm not so sure I want to get personal with him anymore, “Okay,

you made your point. I won't ask. I see you don't play fair.”

“You're right, I don't.” Ben stares at me for what feels like eternity. I focus on my food like it's

the most fascinating thing ever created. “I'm sorry, Lily. I was being a jerk. I usually try to turn the
cards against whoever I'm talking to, always bringing it back around to them.”

“It's fine,” I mumble, taking a bite of the food that I once found delicious but now tastes like

cardboard.

“Lily,” Ben starts, scooting to the end of the couch and placing his food on the table. “Lily, look

at me.”

I don't, not sure if I like this side of Ben (or I guess I should say Vault in this instance).
“Ask me your question, any question you want, and I will answer it,” Vault offers as an apology.
I look at him through my lashes, very tempted by this offer, “You sure? It's about as personal as

you can get.”

“Christ,” he mutters, dabbing his mouth with a napkin and sitting back, taking a long sip, unsettled

by my words. “Ask. Let's get this over with.”

“Why don't you blame Jay for your wife's death?” It's something I have wondered numerous times

as I reflect back on the things Jay has told me.

Ben looks relieved that this was my big question, “What's the point? Death's the only inevitable

thing in life, I just didn't expect it to happen so soon for her.” His shrug comes across as aloof and
uncaring, but I watch a mammoth lump travel down from his swallow, stopping halfway as though it
got lodged inside, and then he knocks back the rest of his whiskey.

His statement depresses me and his demeanor makes me incredibly sad for him. So far I'm not

seeing what's so great about living in Jay's world, especially when death is so easily brushed aside.

Ben gets up to refill his drink, continuing the conversation, his back to me while he does,

“Besides, if we hadn't been arguing that night she wouldn't have needed to find a restroom far from
the party for privacy. If I hadn't been my usual self-absorbed ass I would have been dancing with her,
enjoying her company and infectious laugh. Instead I let her walk away, knowing she was upset and
off to cry, knowing I was the reason she was crying, and that I was always the reason she cried.” He
turns back around, and for a moment he lets himself show his mourning and sorrow over her loss,
“That's just life. It's full of moments that have you analyzing and wondering what could have been,
especially when it comes to death. I've been around enough men like Jay to learn it's not worth
holding on to that kind of anger. Her death destroyed enough of me, I don't need to let it ruin me.”

What a complex enigma Benedict Cole is.
“Are you happy?” I blurt out, slightly embarrassed from not intending to have asked.
“I'm not sure I've ever been happy. At least, not the kind of happy where you wake up to the sun

shining, birds chirping, and you want to sing to the world; I'm thankful for that though.”

“Why is that?”
Ben curses under his breath, scrubbing the scar on his temple, “What is it about you that makes

someone overexpose themselves?”

I don't offer an answer, not knowing myself, but I've always been someone people tended to turn

to, for reasons I've never analyzed.

Ben lets out a long exhale, his mouth speaking almost against his will, “What goes up must come

down, right? Well, my lows aren't much different from my highs, and because of that I've never had to
experience the kind of 'crash and burn' that elated happiness can bring.”

“But those moments can be some of the best parts about life,” I argue.
“But the fall is always the worst,” he points out.
It's true. Sad, but true. How would he know that if he's never experienced it?
Food is dropped on the table between us, startling us both.
Confused, Ben and I look up to find Jay standing there, his jaw clenched and his arms tightly

crossed, “Thought you'd like to eat with me, seeing as how we haven't seen each other in eight
weeks.”

I'm momentarily stunned from him popping up and how the sight of him has my insides demanding

to assault every square inch of him.

“Guess I was wrong. Maybe one of the girls will want this.” Jay lifts the bags and takes long

strides out the door.

What the hell? In all the ways I'd daydreamed for our reunion to be, today has been nowhere near

it. I thought we wouldn't be able to keep our hands off each other while making declarations of love
every other second.

“Excuse me,” I say, apologetically. “I don't want to be rude.”
Ben waves his hand at the door, “Go, I understand.”
Jessica is taking a bag from Jay when I enter the waiting room.
“Oh, Ms. Evans,” Hattie says when she sees me, “I was just going to let you know that Captain

Jim's ready any time you need him.”

“What the fuck?” Jay clips, ferociously staring me down.
My sentiments exactly.
“VAULT!” Jay roars, making Hattie cower back, looking like she desperately wishes to hide

under her desk.

Ben comes out, unfazed by the rude calling.
“I'm done for the day. There's only one reason I want my phone to ring,” Jay informs him.
Ben nods, “How long are you out?”
Jay leers down my body, “I'm going to need at least until tomorrow morning.”
“I'll give you until Monday.” Ben winks at me before retreating back inside.
“Lets go,” Jay demands, storming out the main door without checking to make sure I follow

(which of course I do).

By the time I reach him he's already at the gold elevator getting his hand scanned, “Eight fucking

weeks, Lily.”

He grabs my wrist, places it on the scanner, and shoves me from behind when the door opens.
“Eight weeks,” he repeats again when he has my hand scanned on the inside.
He hasn't looked at me even though I know he can feel that my eyes haven't left him.
“Are you mad at me?”
He grunts.
When the doors open I'm surprised to find we are on another level of the building. It's a long

stretch of hallway, numerous doors on each side. We exit and I follow Jay to almost the end of it. He

has his hand scanned by the door and gestures for me to do the same. He opens it and waits for me to
enter first.

Holy shit, it's a studio apartment. This has to be the strangest bank in existence.
“This whole level is housing for Vault's personal guards. It came furnished,” Jay answers,

knowing my confusion. His response to my unspoken questions makes me remember how much I've
missed him, and incredibly sad that he's close enough to touch but he feels just as far away as when I
was back home in Mesa.

The studio's an open floor plan that has a masculine ambiance to it. The kitchen to the right has

the refrigerator and stove (stainless steel) and granite counters against the wall with a really cool
looking textured tile. A long island runs the length of the kitchen and has a sink and more granite
counters. The cabinets are a cherry wood with chrome knobs. A bathroom's at the end of the wall
closest to the door. To my left is a rectangle six person dining table sitting on top of a warm, rich rug.
Past that is a coffee table surrounded by a long, brown leather couch and two leather armchairs, all
sitting over a plush burgundy rug. A gigantic flat screen on a wooden stand can be viewed from the
couch. The back wall is a huge window overlooking the city. It stops more than halfway to a brick
wall that has a king size bed, night stands on each side, and a long dresser against the wall. The walls
don't have pictures but are brick, the floors hardwood. It's quite a welcoming, cozy place, which
makes it even more bizarre that it's in a freaking bank.

Jay goes to the kitchen, taking a seat at a bar stool and pulling out his food to eat. I stay standing

by the door, twisting his ring, not sure what to do next.

I stay put the whole time he's scarfing down his food. When he's done, he dumps it in the trash,

gets a glass of water from the sink, and gulps it down, his eyes briefly flickering in my direction.

“I need a shower,” he gruffly informs me.
As he passes me his eyes watch my fingers twist his ring around. I wait for him to say something

or smile at the sight of it. He doesn't.

I definitely think I may cry at any minute. This yo-yo game we always play is exhausting.
“Eight weeks, Lily!” I hear him shout, turning the water on. “Eight fucking weeks!”
I smile, because I hear the longing in his voice and know this day has been just as confusing and

shitty for him too.

I strip off all my clothes, leaving them in a heap on the floor.
Inside the bathroom I start to get self-conscious about him seeing me naked, which is silly; he

probably knows my body better than I do.

The glass is clear, making his backside visible.
Oh wow, I forgot how beautiful his body is. The way his muscles move as he works a washcloth

along his body has me desperately wanting my hands to take over.

I open the shower door and slide in. I stand with my back against the tiled wall, arms against it.
Jay slowly turns, the water falling down on him and getting stuck on his lashes and lips, rolling

down his chest and abs ripple after ripple.

He makes me feel so small and vulnerable, his width and height appearing double my own.
“Hey,” I say with shyness and apprehension.
“Hi.”
I watch him leisurely admire my body, inspecting me as though this is his first time seeing the

curve of my hips and the roundness of my breasts. A mischievous smile breaches the indent of his
mouth, indicative of all the things he's imagining doing to me.

I hope he does it all and more.

When his eyes finally meet mine I start to smile, but he's looking at me as though I'm his prey and

he can hardly wait to devour me, so instead I try and remember how to breathe.

“I've missed you,” his tone eliciting the same truths and desires of my own.
“Oh god Jay, I've missed you so much. At times it was hard to breathe.”
“I know,” his gruff voice agrees, affirming the darkness our separation caused. He steps closer to

me to rest his forearms on the tile above my head. He brings his lips inches from mine, making my
restless yearning turn volcanic, “I'm going to kiss you now, and then I'm going to fuck you because
that's all I'm capable of right now. I need you so bad I can't be anything but rough. Then we'll clean
each other and spend all night and tomorrow making love in my bed. Yeah?”

“Okay,” is my lame response.
He grins, “Good.”
His lips lightly brush mine, but it awakens my body and I attack. My fingers and nails drag along

his skin at every part they can reach; I can't seem to get close enough or pressed hard enough against
him.

Jay has me pinned, suctioning me to the cold tile, but it feels good against my heated, flushed

skin. Steam from the shower mingles with the steam from our bodies, making the room a blurry, hazy
fog of lust and yearning.

My ass is pinched and pushed up, running my back along the smooth tile, feeling the brief friction

of the grout as it passes. My legs naturally go around his waist, knowing where they belong.

His lips are sloppy and wet on my neck, going everywhere and anywhere, like I might disappear

any minute and they need to taste every part of me before I'm gone.

“I need you, Lily,” his gruff words carrying more meaning than I have time to analyze.
“Then have me. I'm yours.”
That's the only confirmation Jay needs as he slides into me. The bow of my spine curls into him,

burying him further inside, laying my hands on his shoulders for support as his hips embed with mine.
Jay rests his forehead to the tile, tilting it to the side and smashing his face with the bend of my neck.

His thrusts are slow and torturous, the opposite of what I was expecting.
He uses his firm hold of my bottom to glide me up and down, his hips following with devotion

and an eagerness to please.

The only sounds leaving his mouth are occasional pants and grunts of pleasure; mine are silent,

but my breathing is uneven and fast, leaving no doubt where his movements are taking me.

My fingers coil with the blades of his shoulders, feeling every thrust and stretch of my walls,

getting lost in the sensation, never wanting this moment to end.

This is the reunion I'd anticipated; not the sex, but the undeniable connection our bodies share,

the way they naturally sculpt themselves into the other.

“I should have told you how good it was to see you again instead of lashing out,” Jay mumbles

into my throat, his lips gliding along the skin as I move up and down. “How often I thought of you and
missed you. That even though you should be home, I'm so fucking glad that you're here–”

I smash my lips to his, silencing his thoughts, wanting only heavy breathing and the exchange of

air to be heard.

“Lily,” Jay groans into my mouth, picking up his pace.
His muscles flex the closer he gets, sweeping my skin, rippling with my flesh, searing us

together.

“You ready?” He's barely audible from his winded gasps of air, so close I can feel him widen

and enlarge.

“Yes,” I moan, even more breathless than him.
We explode together, pressed tight, both afraid that when it's over the other will be gone.

Chapter 15

6:02pm

We don't move while we wait for our emotions, heart rates, and breathing to stabilize.
Jay has his forehead resting above my chest along my collarbone, tilted to the side so his face can

be buried in my neck the way he seems to favor.

My arms are pressing around his head, not letting it move, bobbing it up and down with every

unsteady breath I take.

He pulls out of me and glides me down, still keeping me pinned under his massive body.
“Did you get bigger?” I murmur as my hands move along his chest to take hold of his biceps,

“You're huge.”

“You're getting better with the compliments,” he teases through a grin.
I look up at him and smile with a warmth and happiness I know has to be radiating out of every

pore.

“So beautiful,” Jay whispers, eyes glued to my smile that has widened and taken over most of my

face. “That guy...” he starts before moving his face back into the safety of my neck. “The one Naomi
was talking about...” He stops and his breathing gets heavier. I can feel his heartbeat start to pick up
again. “Did you?...dammit,” he growls, pushing off the wall. His hands scrub his face, “Never mind.
It doesn't matter.” He picks up a bar of soap and a washcloth to resume cleaning himself.

I watch his stiff body working the suds along his skin, his features scrunched together.
“Jay,” I reach for him but he turns his back to me. I wrap my arms around him and rest my cheek

on his back, “We never went out. I never even ended up going to the party. I want you. Only you.
Agreeing wasn't even a possi–”

Jay twists around to take hold of my lips before I can finish. He lifts me into his arms bridal

style, turning the nozzle off and carrying me through the threshold of the shower door. We go out the
bathroom, past his kitchen and lounge area to the far back where the king size bed is tucked away. He
lays my naked, wet body on top of the covers, his body pressing me further into the mattress.

His eyes search mine, looking for answers he's too afraid to ask. I can see the misery and torment

he's suffered since that phone conversation.

I frown and stroke his scruffy jaw, ready to force him to open up to me and tell me why he let

himself worry about another guy instead of asking me about it.

Before I have the chance to rectify any misgivings, he buries himself deep inside in one hard

thrust, taking me by surprise, causing a gasp to expel from my lips.

“That's the last time I'll step aside,” he growls into my ear.
I open my mouth to respond but the air catches in my throat when his hips slam harder into me,

trying to go as deep as my body will let him. He repeatedly crashes into me, claiming my body.

This barbaric fucking is making my head spin, but then I remember why he's claiming me like

this.

The thought infuriates me and I jackknife up, using all my strength and force to push him onto his

back. I get on top, needing to be the one in control. Both our expressions mirror the other: anger,
longing, and most importantly, greed.

“I can't believe you would think that.” I slam down with incredible force that almost has me

climaxing, “You're it for me, Jay. Forever. No one else. Only you.”

His nails dig into my ass, massaging and moving it around. Mine are digging into his shoulders,

my hips slamming down on him, slapping our skin, riding and grinding him as hard as I can. Sweat
begins replacing the water on our skin.

Jay's hands move to cup my breasts, taking a firm hold and forcefully squeezing them. I lean over

so he can take them into his mouth. He eagerly accepts, pulling and sucking as though he's punishing
them, but it's driving me mad with pleasure.

I cry out from the pain when he nips the sensitive tip. I push my breasts together more, needing

the way the pain adds to the sensation of me fucking his cock. I take one of his hands and force it
between my legs, wanting as many sensations as he can give me. One of my hands slithers behind me
to work between his legs. This has his head rolling back and lifting up his ass to push further inside
me, a savage groan rumbling the back of his throat.

It doesn't take long for me to come, Jay shortly following. I fall forward, draping my body over

his. He strokes my back and I listen to his erratic heart and breaths.

“Was that pissed off sex?” I ask.
Jay silently chuckles, “Yeah, I think so.”
“I have to say, I kind of like it. Way more fun than fighting.” And I oddly don't feel so pissed off

anymore. “Were you mad because of our shitty reunion or because you thought this whole time I've
been dating someone else?”

“Both,” he honestly replies, still stroking my back.
“Why didn't you call, Jay? You tore me apart. You need to talk to me about this kind of stuff

instead of shutting me out.”

Jay shifts us to our sides to enclose his body over mine. He rests his cheek against my hair,

pulling me into him as tight as I can go, “I didn't mean for you to worry and I wasn't trying to shut you
out. I wanted to give you space, time to think about what you've been through, and give you the chance
to figure out if I'm what you really want. You've never had time to digest the kind of man I am.”

“Jay–”
“No, let me finish,” he cuts in. “You're beautiful and perfect and so fucking special that I keep

waiting for you to wonder what the hell you were thinking falling in love with me.”

I twist my head enough to make our eyes meet, “You need to believe I'm yours and that you

deserve me.”

“That's never going to happen. I will never be good enough for you.”
“You hold me too high up on a pedestal.”
He tucks my hair behind my ear, “So?”
“So, the only place left to go is down.”
He smirks, “But I like it when you go down.”
I can't stop my laughter from erupting, “Okay, well what if I had dated someone else?” No way

that will ever happen.

“I'd have to kill him,” Jay jokes, but I think he'd strongly consider it. He confirms it with his next

sentence, “I was tempted quite a few times over the last few weeks, going insane with the idea of
another man thinking he had the right to touch you or even think about it.”

“See? Then you're stuck with me.”
“That's a damn same,” he growls, flipping me so I'm on my back. His mouth starts trailing down,

burying his head between my legs, “I think it's about time I start redeeming myself.”

I feel his warm breath right before his tongue begins.

If this is his way of making himself feel good enough for me, I can live with that.
Wow...yeah...I can definitely live with that.

Chapter 16

Sunday, March 23
3:18pm

“Omigod Jay, you're so hot,” I verbalize into his mouth as I feel his muscles sweep my skin right

before screaming out my orgasm.

“Oh shit, Lily,” Jay gasps, his hips thrusting deep inside, pouring into me. “Damn Lily, just

damn.” He falls to my side, keeping half his body wrapped over me, nuzzling behind my ear. “You're
turning me into a addict. I can't seem to stop wanting you.”

“Mm, good,” I sleepily reply. I'm exhausted. Ever since the first shower, we have not stopped

having sex. The minute we stop one of us will innocently caress or kiss the other and it starts the
frenzy all over again. We are both sore, spent, and tired, but it's not slowing us down. I think it's both
from the pain of missing each other and wanting to get the most out of our time together before I leave,
which I'm sure is sooner than I care (or want) to admit.

Jay kisses the spot he's nuzzling before lifting himself off the bed.
“Bathroom break,” he informs me over his shoulder as he walks away.
I admire the view, getting tingles and flutters that that beautiful creature is mine.
I am so hopelessly in love with that man I can hardly think straight.
I flip to my stomach and curl into a pillow. My hand slides under the pillow, ready to cozy up

and call it a day – for at least a few hours. Soft material hits my fingertips. I tug it out to find one of
Jay's gray shirts in my hand.

Must be his sleeping shirt. I go to shove it back under when I catch a whiff of a floral scent. I

stop mid-shove and pull it back out to sniff it. It smells like a woman. Not just any woman, it smells
like me.

I sit up and lift the shirt when Jay is close to the bed, “What's this?”
Jay swipes his head and I'm pretty sure his skin flushes, “It's nothing.”
He comes over to retrieve it and shove it into a dresser drawer.
“Is that the shirt I wore when I was here last?”
Jay turns crimson on every part of his beautiful, naked flesh.
Jay kept a shirt that smelled like me under his pillow.
Holy shit.
I'm stunned, overwhelmed with how utterly romantic that is, never expecting to have that strong

of an affect on someone, never mind a man as masculine as Jay Lincoln.

He lets out a deep, heavy sigh, “I missed you, baby. At times it was almost unbearable–”
My mouth cuts off any further conversation when I leap from my spot to pounce on him.
Fuck sleep, it's overrated.

Chapter 17

Monday, March 24
9:24am

Jay gets out of bed and I get lost in admiring his naked form. I'm even drawn to the scars on his

body, knowing how he got them and how they shaped the man he is today, the man I fell in love with.
Would we be here in this moment if he hadn't lived through what he had? I doubt it.

Jay cocks his head to the side, “What's the frown for?”
I chew on my lip and stare at his shoulder, not sure if I want to respond, remembering what

happened the last time we thought about if things had happened differently.

I decide to answer, not wanting to hold back my thoughts from him, “I was wondering if we

would have found each other if you had had a different past.”

I meet his eyes and am surprised to see him contemplating this, lost in thought. His hands are on

his hips, eyes clouded over, searching his mind for answers.

Now it's Jay's turn to frown, “I sure would hope so, Lily.” His tone and expression take on a

seriousness I haven't seen before, “I can't imagine a life without you in it. You make life worth
experiencing, worth living.”

Wow. Good answer.
Jay grins and swipes his head, “I thought so.”
I throw a pillow at him for looking like he purposely said that because he knew that's what I'd

want to hear. All he does is laugh.

“I have to go upstairs for a good part of the day,” he sounds apologetic.
“This isn't the speech where you send me home, is it?” This will so end in an ugly argument. I'm

not ready to leave him yet, it's too soon. I even secretly called Naomi last night to explain to Martin I
had a stomach flu, hoping to buy me a few more days.

“No. As fucking stupid as it is, I can't let you leave yet. I just feel bad that you'll be here by

yourself.”

“Can I go with you?” I ask, even though I already know the answer.
“It's pretty boring.”
“I don't care.” I want more time with him, but I'm even more curious about the bank and what

other surprises it holds.

Jay shrugs, “Sure.”
“Really?” That seemed way too easy.
He chuckles and comes over to peck me on the lips, “Really. Now get dressed, we leave in ten.”
“I need a shower–”
“Not enough time–”
“–With you,” I finish, stuffing down the irritation I'm experiencing from his bossiness.
He looks to his watch-less wrist, “You know, I think we have more time than I thought.”
I start to roll my eyes, but don't have time to finish because he has lifted me over his shoulder and

is leading us to the bathroom in full strides. I giggle at how eager he seems to get us there.

11:03am

My legs are wrapped around Jay, back pressed against the elevator wall. His face is planted in

my neck, sucking and biting, his erection pressing against my center, one hand tweaking and playing
with my nipples under my shirt.

I try concentrating, but all I can think about is how I can't let Jay go again. There is no way I can

do it a third time, no way in hell. I know I can't stay here, but every time we're separated our bond
gets broken. How many times can we afford to have it severed?

“Remember when you said we were forever and you were never giving me up?” I remind him.
Jay doesn't respond, his mouth preoccupied.
“Be that man, Jay. Be the man who fights for us and will never let anything destroy what we

have. Don't doubt the love we share. Know that if there's one thing true and real in your life it's us, it's
our love. Please don't let me go again. Fight for me, Jay. I need to know nothing can take you from me,
that you would never allow it.”

Jay lifts his head, moving a hand to cup the side of my face, holding it in place to lock his eyes

with mine, “From this moment on you will never question if I'm in this with you. This is me promising
you that what we have will never be broken by us or anyone else.” He follows his vow with a kiss
that further binds him to me and has my mouth pledging to do the same, our lips and tongues a more
suitable contract than anything tangible.

The elevator door pings open, ruining the moment.
Jay growls his irritation, shooting daggers at the door as though it's his sworn enemy, “You still

got that money I gave you?”

“No, I already spent it all,” I sarcastically reply.
He smiles, still glaring at the open doors, “We're running away, finding an island nobody knows

exists.”

“Excellent plan. Any idea where one might be?”
“Not a fucking clue,” he pouts.
I can't stop myself from taking his puffed out bottom lip into my mouth and sucking it in.
Jay's palm slaps the wall of the elevator above my head, thrusting his hips into me, groaning his

approval.

I tug it out with my teeth.
“Jesus, Lily,” Jay mumbles, one hand fumbling with the zipper of his fly. “I have to be inside

you.”

“The doors are open,” I remind him, remembering the two guards that are always standing guard

in front of the main door to Vault's level.

He lets out a curse, zips his fly back up, pinches a nipple, and twists one last time before placing

me on the floor.

We walk hand in hand through the door. I keep expecting him to drop it and distance himself from

me but he doesn't, not even when Jessica and Hattie look up from their desks.

Jay gives them a smile that surprises me, “Good morning, ladies.” He chuckles when he sees the

look of shock on my face.

Hattie mumbles a morning while she hunches over her screen,
“Morning, Jay,” Jessica chirps. Taking note of our conjoined hands, she smiles – a genuine one

that isn't forced, “Good morning, Ms. Evans.”

I beam for multiple reasons, thinking I might combust with happiness, “Good morning, Jessica.”

“Arianna start yet?” Jay inquires.
“She's with HR filling out paperwork.”
Jay nods his approval, “Good.”
He leads me to the back through the door by Jessica's desk.
“Arianna's working here?”
“Yeah. She has no work experience and can't stand sitting around, so I asked Vault to do this for

her. It's simple stuff like helping out Vault's assistants or doing any shit work other levels may have.”

“That was nice of you.”
He shrugs, uncomfortable with the topic, “I kind of owe her. Vault's only condition is she doesn't

have her own password and therefore must have a guard travel with her to and from levels. Oh, and
no computer access.”

“Why is that?”
Jay gives me a quizzical look, “Lily, she's a con-artist – or was one. He's not about to let her

have clearance to any kind of data.”

Ah, yes. I keep forgetting that side of her.
He leads me into the room that the guard from yesterday almost knocked me over with.
It's a security room full of monitors and other fancy looking equipment.
Only one person is inside, a man almost as enormous as Jay. He's wearing a suit like the rest of

them always have on, but his jacket and tie are off, the sleeves rolled up, and the first couple of
buttons undone. He has a shaved head and a strong jaw line, making him come across as a rough and
tough kind of guy (which he probably is).

Jay leads me to the only other seat, sits down, and pulls me onto his lap with his arms wrapping

around my center, kissing my shoulder.

The other guy hasn't even acknowledged us.
I nod my head in his direction, wanting Jay to introduce us. He only mouths “Charlie,” a name I'd

heard him mention when rescuing Arianna and know he respects him in the weird way Jay does.

I watch the screens and the boring mundane happenings of a bank while I listen to Jay converse

with Charlie. It reminds me of what Neanderthals must have sounded like.

“Anything?” Jay asks, both men observing what's going on.
“Nah,” Charlie responds..
“Meeting?”
“Late.”
Jay frowns at this and gruffly asks why.
Charlie grunts in a way that I assume he's letting Jay know he hasn't a clue.
Jay lets out a dissatisfied snort.
I'm holding back my grin. This is the only man Jay has respect for and I'm beginning to think it's

because they both speak caveman.

Charlie points to something on the screen. Jay leans over me to get a better look. His upper lip

curls, disapproving of what he sees.

I squint and also lean forward more, trying to see what they do, but it looks like two men having

a meeting in someone's office.

Jay lets out a few more grunts, followed by a few from Charlie.
I silently laugh.
Jay grabs my hips and starts bringing us to standing. He places me back down on the chair, “I'll

be back. Need to check on something.”

I nod, hoping he doesn't take as long as he did the last time he said that.
“Keep an eye on her,” Jay requests, as though I need looking after.
Charlie doesn't respond, but Jay doesn't seem bothered by this.
Charlie shuts the door behind him, never once having glanced my way.
I think I've just discovered who Jay would be if he had gone to work for Vault instead of going

after his revenge.

“I'm Lily,” I offer, uncomfortable sitting here with someone I've never met before.
“I know,” Charlie replies, still not looking my way.
He doesn't make me feel unwelcome, but he doesn't exactly make me feel comfortable either.

Normally I'd try and strike up a conversation, but I have a strong sense that that wouldn't go over very
well with him.

I watch Jay get on the gold elevator and my cheeks redden, wondering how much of our earlier

groping Charlie saw. When Jay gets off I try figuring out what screen he's now on.

Charlie points to the screen in front of me, “Watch that one.” He then pushes a series of buttons

that has the screen in front of me popping up another security room and Jay walking into it.

“Thank you,” I tell him. That was really sweet.
Of course he doesn't acknowledge I spoke.
“Is there volume?” I wonder, wanting to hear what Jay's saying, or I guess barking at the poor

men who are in the room.

“Yes,” Charlie answers, making no move to turn it on.
I guess that means he doesn't want me listening.
“Has anyone ever told you you talk too much?” I tease, trying to lighten the mood.
A grin threatens to come out the side of his face I can see, “All the time. Just tell me to shut up if

it starts getting on your nerves.”

I laugh, “You kind of remind me of Jay.”
Charlie snorts, “Is that supposed to be a compliment?”
I laugh again, “Not sure, but it's definitely not an insult.”
Charlie gets distracted by something, ending our brief conversation, and I continue watching Jay.

Charlie changes the screen in front of me every time Jay moves, which again I find really sweet,
considering he seems busy with what ever he's doing. Jay has taken a few of the guards to where the
two men from before are having a meeting and is talking to them outside the closed door.

There's a light knock on the door but Charlie makes no move to open it.
A second knock has me asking if he wants me to answer it.
“Nah, it's just Hattie.”
“How do you know that?”
“She's the only one who knocks.”
The third time I get up to answer it, not sure if this is one of their ways of teasing her, which does

not please me.

Charlie holds his hand up to stop me, “I've told her not to knock. I want her to learn to just come

in.”

I sit back down, “So you're not messing with her?”
“No. If she's going to survive this bank she needs to toughen up.”
I don't understand his rationale, but then again I don't understand this bank. At least he appears

genuine, so I don't say any more.

The door slowly slides open and a timid Hattie pokes her head in, “Sorry to bother you, but I

have the papers you requested.”

“Hattie,” Charlie exhales. “How many times do I need to tell you to just walk in?”
Her face turns bright red as she steps all the way through the door. She hands Charlie the papers,

“Next time.”

He grunts like he doesn't believe her. Their hands briefly touch as he takes hold of the papers and

a flush creeps up Hattie's neck.

Okay, so maybe it's not just Ben. I think she's just shy around men in general.
Charlie meets her gaze, “Thank you.”
“Sure,” Hattie half croaks, clearing her throat before scurrying out.
I watch Charlie try to hide a grin as he looks over the papers.
A few minutes later Ben opens the door, ready to speak, but stops when he sees me sitting there.
I open my mouth to say hi, but stop from the expression on his face.
He looks pissed and not like a man you want to mess with right now, or even talk to.
Without acknowledging me Ben speaks to Charlie, “Is there a reason she's in here?”
Charlie keeps working, “Lincoln had to take care of something.”
“That doesn't answer my question,” Ben's abrupt, his vibe not one to be taken lightly. He has

always made me feel comfortable, but at this moment he's not; it's the exact opposite. I guess this is
another side of Vault I'm meeting.

Charlie's jaw locks, “Talk to Lincoln, just following orders.”
“Why are you the only one in here?”
“Because I can handle it on my own,” Charlie quips.
“I want another man in here,” Vault orders. “When Lincoln gets back, inform him that I may have

allowed her clearance, but he's not to abuse it.” He finally looks my way, “Come with me, Lily. You
shouldn't be in here.”

I quickly follow behind, somehow always managing to let this place make me feel like a child.
Vault leads me to his office, opening the door for me, “Stay in here. Jay will get you when he's

done.”

I step inside and have the door shut behind me.
Well that was incredibly awkward. Why does it seem like I've been put on a timeout?
I decide to lay down on the couch to try taking a much needed nap.

Chapter 18

12:58pm

The main door opens, awakening me from my nap. I groggily sit up to find the guard who seems

to hate me, the one Jay calls Asswipe.

It could be my imagination, but his features seem to have a devilish excitement to them when he

finds me alone.

“Hello, Ms. Evans,” he greets, more out of formality than anything else.
I stiffly smile, “Hello.”
I don't want to be in here with him. I should go find Jay, or at least go talk to Ben's assistants for

awhile.

I begin to rise at the exact moment he comes to join me on the seat Ben usually resides, throwing

a few words my way, “Please don't leave on my account. Besides, Lincoln's busy with his other
woman right now.”

I sink back into the cushion, wanting it to be clear that he can try to bully me, but it doesn't mean

he'll be successful at it, “Good, hopefully she wears him out. His stamina is off the charts and I could
use the break.” My gaze slithers down to his lap before meeting his “I'm up to no good” stare that I
challenge with my own “hit me with your best shot” arch of my brow, “Something I'm sure you know
nothing about.”

It's clear his hatred for me just went up a notch (not that I really give a shit).
“Can't say that I blame him,” Asswipe feels the need to carry on. “You're not much to look at.”
I roll my eyes, his words laughable, “What's your deal? Why do you hate me so much?
“Well for starters, you belong to Lincoln, and second, you shouldn't be allowed the level of

clearance you have because of it, but that was one of Lincoln's conditions for working here while we
wait. As if Vault allowing him to use his bank wasn't enough of a request, now his pussy is all over
the place for no apparent reason other than he wants them here.”

I get up to leave, “I'm done here.” I'm not going to sit and listen to he and Jay's childish feud.
In one swift movement he's up and towering over me, his arms pinning me back into the cushion.
His face is inches from mine, “I say when this is over, not some little fucking girl.”
I try pushing him away, “Do you really want to be in my face right now? This will seriously piss

Jay off.” Not to mention how angry it's making me. Where do men get off thinking they can treat
women like this?

“He doesn't run this fucking place,” Asswipe sneers. “I can't wait for Mark to arrive and slit

his–”

This would be the moment my fist comes out and introduces itself to his mouth.
Shit! I forgot how much that hurts.
Pain instantly stings my cheek from Asswipe's backhand. His hands tightly grip my arms and

bring me to standing.

Uh oh, no good can come from the veins popping out of his temples. I don't regret punching him,

no matter the consequences. I couldn't let him finish that sentence.

“Get your hands off of her!”
We both swivel our heads in the direction of the main door.

Arianna is standing there with her arms crossed.
I light up with a huge smile and try to wave, “Hi, Arianna. I was hoping to get to see you today!”
I'm greeted with the same level of excitement, “I'm so excited you're here. Don't leave without

saying good-bye, I want to hear what's been going on with you.”

“Definitely!”
Arianna looks considerably better than I thought she would. Jay had described her as looking

worn down and having lost too much weight. The woman before me is thicker than when we first met,
and of course on her it's evenly spread, making her even more curvy in the best of ways. She's
wearing wool pants with a blouse and sweater vest. She doesn't appear to be wearing any makeup, a
side braid resting over a shoulder, soft wisps of hair framing her face. She's stunning. I think even
more so now because it's just her natural beauty and not the false advertisement of cosmetic
enhancement.

Asswipe sneers down at me, reminding me that he still has a strong grip on me, “Look who it is.

The pussy that's actually hot.”

“Really? That's the best you can come up with to fire at me?” He really sucks at verbal

smackdowns.

“Totally lame,” Arianna agrees, coming closer.
I look her way, “I know, right?”
Arianna wiggles a finger at us, “You can let go of her now.”
“Why the fuck should I?”
Arianna points to a camera, “I don't think Vault will be too pleased when I tell him to view this.”
I'm dropped like a sack of potatoes, my butt bouncing off the cushion when they collide.
Ouch, I rub my side. For such a comfy couch that kind of hurt.
Completely ignoring Asswipe, I get up to hug Arianna, “You look great!”
She blushes and fiddles with the end of her braid, “Thanks. I feel good, you know, for once

where it matters, not where it doesn't...or at least I'm starting to.”

That makes me incredibly happy for her.
“It's thanks to Jay, Charlie, and Vault. They've really helped me to start finding out–”
“If you're making the rounds I wouldn't mind a piece,” Asswipe moves to pinch her ass, but

before it even makes contact Arianna has taken hold of him and abruptly pins him to the ground.

My mouth drops open.
Arianna smirks, “Jay taught me some moves.”
“Nice.” I'm surprised how unworried that makes me feel. I think I can officially say I'm secure in

the relationship Jay and I share.

“Yeah, he saw what a great effect it had on you and the confidence of knowing how to defend

yourself. He hoped it would do the same for me.”

I gesture with my chin to her secure hold, “I see that it has.”
Arianna goes to look down at the same moment Asswipe throws her off him. She goes flying, her

back smashing into the marble floor.

I rush over to her, knowing that had to have hurt.
A ferocious energy hits my back. I twist my body, fully expecting it to be Asswipe and ready to

kick his ass.

It's not. It's so much worse.
Not for me, but for him.
Things are about to get interesting.

Chapter 19

Jay, Charlie, and Ben are standing in the doorway–at this moment they should be called fury,

rage, and wrath. The three of them combined are emanating something that I'm not even sure the devil
would want to fuck with.

Jay's visibly trying to reign in the desire to kill, chest expanding with each enraged intake of air.
Charlie goes to make the first move, but Ben stops him by a slap to the chest.
Asswipe straightens himself, trying to appear like he isn't about to shit his pants, but his eyes

aren't hiding it very well.

Ben stops right in front of Asswipe, chest to chest, and leans in to whisper something into his ear

that has all the color draining from his skin.

Satisfied that he understands, Ben goes over to offer Arianna a hand up, his eyes softening with

compassion. Both his hands take hold of her face and they lock eyes. The two have a conversation
only they can hear. Arianna's looking at him like he's her entire world. When Ben kisses her on the
forehead, she closes her eyes and takes in a deep breath. Without further acknowledgement to the rest
of us, Ben takes a step back and heads in the direction of his private office.

“He's all yours,” he informs Jay and Charlie. “Just don't mutilate him so much that he can't work.

I have plans for him.”

This has Jay and Charlie sharing twin expressions of eagerness.
Both step forward and match strides over to us.
“Ready to defend your pussy, Lincoln?” Asswipe taunts.
Why would you provoke a man like Jay? You'd have to be an idiot. Oh, wait...
“I'd watch myself right now and start thinking about making smart choices that don't end with

your skull getting bashed in.”

I unconsciously nod my head in agreement.
Jay's eyes rest on my cheek. Something dark and sinister dilates his pupils, nostrils flaring, and

he takes a gigantic step to put himself directly in front of me. I know his anger isn't directed at me, but
damn if it still doesn't make my heart race.

The back of his hand lightly strokes the spot that still stings a bit.
“Did you do this?” Jay growls, deep and menacing, his eyes pinning Asswipe to the wall.
Asswipe doesn't answer, but there is no denying his fear. The hatred rolling off Jay and heading

towards him is the scariest thing I've ever seen...or felt.

Before Jay begins his annihilation, he bends down to tenderly place his lips over the backhand

mark.

Oh my, Jay sure knows how to turn me into mush.
“Lily, you need to get out of here. I don't want you seeing this,” Jay says over his shoulder.
I shake my head no, “Nuh-uh.”
“Lily,” he warns, grinding his jaw.
“You can't kill him, Jay.”
“I'm not planning to, but he's definitely going to wish I had.”
My stomach rolls from images of Asswipe's body after Jay's done with him. I'll spare the details,

it's too disgusting.

I look to Charlie, hoping he might help him see reason, but he seems to be just as ready to destroy

as Jay. His fists are squeezed so tight they are white, or maybe it's because all his blood has rushed to
his head, ready to detonate at any moment.

Jay takes Asswipe by the shirt and slams him against the wall, keeping a grip on the material.

Asswipe winces when his head bounces off it.

Jay raises a fist and readies it for his face, but pauses mid swing.
He lifts a chin to Asswipe's swollen, busted lip, fist still suspended in the air, “Who did that?”
“The little girl. I didn't know you like 'em so young–”
Jay's fist connects with the other side of his jaw, “Shut the fuck up.”
Jay looks at me, pointing to Asswipe's mouth, “You did this?”
I proudly nod, “Yup.”
His eyes twinkle in amusement, “And why is that?”
“I didn't like what was coming out of his mouth.”
“So you thought you'd punch him?” He asks in a shocked, almost pleased voice.
“Yes, at the time it seemed like my best option at achieving my goal.”
“Of getting him to stop talking?”
“That is correct.”
Jay smirks, “Nice choice.”
“Thank you, I thought so too.”
Jay turns his focus back on Asswipe, pulling back his arm and punching him in the gut, “That's for

giving my woman a reason to hit you.”

He looks back at me again, “Your hand all right?”
I caress it, “It's tender. His jaw's like concrete.”
Jay punches him in the gut again, sending Asswipe heaving over his fist, “That's for hurting her

hand.”

“She hit me.” Asswipe manages to cough out, still buckled over.
Jay takes hold of his shoulders and uses his knee this time, “You gave her a reason to. Don't ever

fucking do that again. You have a problem with me, take it out on me. Not Arianna, and definitely not
Lily. Got it?”

Asswipe straightens and spits out an, “I got it.”
“The only reason you're not dead right now is because she doesn't want you to be,” Jay explains.
I highly doubt Asswipe feels any sort of gratitude towards me as Jay lets him go.
Asswipe begins to walk away but Charlie steps in, “My turn.” Charlie's face is clear of any

expression, which makes it just as scary because you can't tell what state he's in or the extremes he's
willing to go.

Asswipe uses his shirt to remove blood from his lips, “Do your best. I dare you.”
The two start going at it like it's the MMA. Jay has to pull me behind him and back us against the

wall to make sure I'm not hit, forcing me to peek my head around his massive body. He yells at
Arianna to go out the main door and she quickly obeys, darting nervous glances at the two men
fighting.

Oh my god, they are really going at it. Whenever Charlie gets a good swing in I have a hard time

not yelling out in triumph.

I'm really surprised that's not Jay right now.
“It would be, but I wouldn't be able to control myself,” Jay answers to what I had accidentally

spoken out loud.

“I'm sorry,” I feel guilty for asking him to be somebody he's not.
“Don't be. This is good practice. If I can fight off this desire right now, I'm pretty sure I could do

it when I'm back home with you.”

I smile into his arm, liking his choice of words.
Ben throws open his office door, “That's enough.” It slams shut, both men instantly stopping, their

body's covered in sweat and blood, chests heaving from exertion.

Charlie and Jay silently communicate before Charlie opens the door to Arianna and Hattie, who

are deep in conversation, both pairs of eyes glued to the door.

Hattie gasps when she sees how bloody Charlie is.
Charlie gives Asswipe one last scowl, pointing to Arianna, “Don't ever think about touching her

again. I don't care if you're Vault's family, I will kill you.” He scans Hattie, “In fact don't touch any
woman that works here. Don't even look at them.”

I'm still trapped behind Jay who is watching Asswipe's every move, daring him to take a step

closer to us.

As Asswipe walks away he grumbles something about Mark not coming soon enough.
I lunge for him, somehow finding the strength to push past Jay, who extends his arm out and

causes my midsection to halt around it, “I appreciate the gesture, babe, but I'm rather fond of those
hands and what they can do. Save it for someone who's worth it.”

Good point.
Once the door is closed, Jay turns to me and strokes my cheek again, concern etched in his

brows, “You sure you're all right?”

“Does it look that bad?”
“No, it's hardly noticeable. I'm just making sure.”
I stand up on the tips of my toes and Jay has to lean down so I can give him a peck, “I sure do

love you, Jay Lincoln.”

Jay smiles along my lips, wrapping his arms around my waist to lift me up, making my feet

dangle in the air, locking me in his strong arms, wanting to be able to give my mouth more attention.
Our tongues thread together, getting entwined and lost in the other.

My arms circle around his neck as though their life depends on it. We increase the magnitude of

the kiss to a level that consumes me to my core.

When we finally break apart, I have to rest most of my face to the side of his, overwhelmed with

the level of intensity we can draw out of one another.

“Oh, Lily,” he exhales, his pulse quickening it's pace. “What am I going to do with you?”
“Ugh, you guys are sickening to watch,” Arianna playfully announces from the door.
Jay doesn't let me go as we turn our heads in her direction.
“It's kind of creeping me out to see Jay this way, however,” she points a finger at his face, “it's a

good look on you.”

“What?” Jay questions.
“Smiling. You're pretty handsome when you do.”
Color flushes his cheeks.
“Omigod, is Jay Lincoln blushing?” Arianna teases, earning a scowl from him.
“Whatever,” is his only argument. “Is there a reason you're here?”
“God, Jay, nobody knows how to do asshole quite like you.” She puts her attention on me, “I'm

done for the day. Do you want to come back to my place? We can hang out until Jay's done?”

“Yes!” I shout with excitement, wiggling out of his arms.

Jay looks back and forth between us, eyes wide with fright at the idea of us spending time alone

together.

What's wrong with me that I love to see him squirm?
“You can't leave the building,” Jay orders, letting us both know.
“I know the rules, Jay. Chill out,” Arianna sharply responds.
Jay scrubs his scars, “I'm warning you, A. Don't fuck me over.”
“Gee, thanks,” she mutters, taking offense. She grabs my hand and yanks me out the door. “Let's

hurry before your domineering boyfriend acts even more like a prick than usual.”

In the waiting area I find Charlie sitting on a leather chair with Hattie standing between his legs,

disinfecting his wounds. His eyes are wandering all over her face.

“I'm taking Lily to the studio,” Arianna informs Charlie.
Charlie ignores her or maybe he didn't hear, I'm not sure which.
“Charlie,” she snaps, getting his attention. “I need you to take me home.”
Charlie stands, thanking Hattie, who blushes. The three of us travel to the gold elevator.
As we descend, Arianna explains that she can't ride to any level without a guard, seeming almost

embarrassed by it.

“Thanks for sticking up for me,” Arianna quietly speaks, taking Charlie's hand in hers. “He

looked a hell of a lot worse than you do.”

His lips curve to the side, confidently displaying that this is information he already knew.
We arrive on the level Jay lives. He hadn't mentioned Arianna was living here too. I was

wondering how I was going to her place if we weren't allowed to leave the bank.

Charlie has to lead us all the way to the apartment door, which is closer to the elevator than

Jay's. He has his hand scanned before we can. Arianna explains that she also can't enter or leave an
area without a guard or she pays the consequences.

I don't ask what those are. I know it can't be anything good.
Arianna thanks Charlie once we're inside. He lifts his chin and leaves.
The studio looks identical to Jay's. It's a little freaky.
“Are you hungry? I thought I would make us lunch?” Arianna offers.
“Sure. Thanks.”
She signals to a bar stool, “Sit. I'll get it started. And don't even think about offering to help, I'm

trying to learn how all this works,” she waves her arms around at the kitchen.

“You and Charlie seem close...” I pry, hopping up on a stool.
“Oh, we are. He's incredible. He looks out for me, probably the only person in my life who ever

has. It's a shame he's gay.”

“What? Really?” Not that he has to fit a stereotype or anything, but this completely surprises me.
“I was shocked too. At one point I wondered if he was lying, but one day he came home early at

the exact moment I had gotten out of the shower and was walking to the dresser. His eyes barely
glanced at me, and not in an uncomfortable, quickly look away thing, but an actual I-could-care-less-
that-a-naked-woman-is-standing-in-front-of-me way.”

My jaw drops, “You two live here, together?”
“Yes, but he sleeps on the couch.”
“Ben doesn't care?”
She laughs, “No, at this point he's unable to say no to me.”
Oh, really...
“Not like that. I'm not interested in that anymore, with him or any man. I just mean he feels so bad

about what happened that I think he'd give me his villa in Italy if I asked.”

“Ooh, you should,” I joke.
“I agree.” She winks at me, “Maybe his beach house in Hawaii, too.”
“How long have you known Ben?” I try to casually ask, finding it a good time to weasel it in,

desperately wanting the juicy gossip.

“My whole life.” She points to the ingredients she pulled out, “Grilled cheese okay?”
“Yup.”
She gets to work making them, “I'm sure you want to know more; I would.” The bread gets

placed on the counter and she spreads butter over it, “He's fourteen years older than me, but from the
moment I saw him I was hooked. Can't really blame me, he's gorgeous.” She licks her lips, stopping
her cheese slicing to dreamily sigh, “My parents noticed how eager I always was to go to San
Fransisco and they knew the reason why. I had thought they were being nice when they allowed me to
go to this bank with them. It wasn't until I was at an age my parents thought was appropriate for me to
be sexually active – fifteen I might add,” she says with disgust, “that I found out the real reason they
liked to flaunt me around him. Basically, they wanted to sell my virginity.”

I unintentionally gasp, “Your freaking parents?”
“I know. It's sick, but I've only ever been a money maker to them; another way to con people.”
Jesus, that's horrible. I try to hide my revulsion, “Did Ben try to buy it?”
She looks mortified, “God no! He was pissed they even put the offer out there.”
That's a relief.
“Anyway, they made Vault promise to not ever touch me after he refused, afraid I would get

attached to him and want to stay in San Fransisco. At that point I had become a valuable asset to
them.”

“That's fucked up.”
“That's my parents.”
“I thought Jay was your first?” I seriously doubt Jay would pay for someone's virginity.
“He was. I had been crying...do you want to know this or is it too weird?”
“I want to know everything about Jay.”
“Okay. So, I was crying, telling Jay how my dad had just informed me about selling myself. I was

terrified. I hadn't even kissed a boy yet. Then Jay told me to just pick a guy and have sex. Even though
I wasn't ready, I liked the idea of it being my choice. I remember looking at Jay and thinking how I
loved that he never watched me like other men did. Even being that young I had men of all ages ogling
me, and it always made me uncomfortable. I liked that Jay looked at me like any other person in the
room. I wanted it over and done with, and at the moment he seemed like my best option, which sadly
he was. So I...” she looks down in shame, “I stripped down naked and kissed him. It was pretty hard
for a boy to say no to that.”

I don't even know how to digest the way these people grew up. It makes me even more grateful

for the constant affection and love my parents have given to me.

“Crapnugget!” Arianna cries, flipping over the burnt sandwiches with her fingers and sticking her

middle finger in her mouth. “I don't think I'll ever be able to cook something without burning it or
myself.”

Her obvious disappointment makes me smile, thinking of my mom.
I come closer to rest my arms on the counter, “Why are you trying to cook?”
She looks at the pan like it's the source of all her troubles and she's ready to kick it's ass.
“I'm trying to...” she crosses her arms and her eyes squint even harder before looking at me, “I

really don't know what the hell I'm trying to do. I just know I can't go back to my old life.” She shrugs,
now looking vulnerable and lost, “I always thought I was an independent woman who could take care
of herself, and in some ways I was, but I depended on others' success to get what I wanted. I want to
depend solely on me now. Does that even make sense?”

“It sure does.”
I don't like the look that is currently crossing her face, like things are about to get personal – and

not in a way that's in my favor.

“I need to confess something.”
Yup, there it is. I hate it when I'm right.
“I've never had a friend before, and I need to get this off my chest before the guilt kills me.”
I want to tell her not to; I'm not sure I like the expression she's wearing. I have a sinking

suspicion that whatever is about to leave her lips will forever change me and my relationship to Jay.

“I wish I knew how to explain my frame of mind when Jay brought me home – I assume he told

you about it?”

I nod.
“I figured. When I was in that dark slit underground I hated him, but at the same time I knew he

would find me, I knew I would survive. When we got back to his place, I had convinced myself to
believe he rescued me because he cared for me on a deeper level. I desperately needed to believe
somebody out there cared about me,” she looks down at her hands, unable to look at me, “I came on to
him. I'm so sorry. I'm incredibly ashamed and embarrassed about the whole thing.”

“It's okay,” I reassure her, placing my hands over hers. “Jay already told me about what

happened. Neither one of us holds it against you, we understand you were working through a lot.”

She peers at me from under her long lashes, “Really?”
I give her hands a squeeze before bringing my arms back to cross them over the counter, “Yes.

I'm not going to lie, I still have insecurities when it comes to you. You're so beautiful–”

“He has no interest in me, Lily,” she quickly cuts in. “He never has. The only reason he kept

coming back to me is because I knew his past and he didn't have to worry about making conversation,
he could just get the sex he needed out of his system. He used me and I let him. There was never any
form of passion between us.” She shakes her head, “I'm making him sound like an ass. I'm just trying
to let you know that whatever you think we might have had between us was nothing. I really want to
be your friend, and I don't want Jay to be any sort of issue between us.

“Be patient with him, Lily. He's still so much the child he never got to be and his love for you

confuses him, sometimes making his emotions all over the place, not always handling it in the best
ways. I think if Jay Lincoln ever has the chance to be the man he was meant to be, it will be because
you are by his side, offering your love and support.”

I jump off the bar stool to go around the island and hug her, “That was beautiful, thank you. Of

course we can be friends! Besides, you need someone to introduce you to pop culture.”

“Don't I know it!” She laughs, hugging me back, “Charlie was just as appalled that I didn't know

any music, movies, or shows. The only things I know are what I needed to woo whoever I was
conning. He's been educating me.”

I go to the fridge to see if I can find something to whip together since our grilled cheese is burnt,

“Yeah? With what?”

Arianna counts off on her fingers, “So far, we've watched Braveheart and The Godfather

trilogy.”

I roll my eyes, “Give me a piece of paper and pen.”

She opens a drawer and pulls them out for me.
I begin writing while I talk, “Those movies are awesome, but you need a broader range than your

stereotypical male favorites. Make him show you these.” I slide the paper over to her.

She reads them with curiosity while I make us a salad.
“If you see a name, it means you should just go ahead and watch anything that person has made.”
“Great, thanks!”
After we eat the salad we head to the couch to get nice and comfy for our gossip session,

spending the next few hours giggling and sharing about ourselves.

Chapter 20

6:21pm

I'm watching a rerun of Friends, waiting for Jay to return, when the front door slams shut and an

agitated Jay starts pacing around the kitchen and dining table.

I sit up straighter and twist my body to view him better, “Everything all right?”
He ignores me, and the more he paces the redder his skin becomes. His eyebrows pull together

as he grinds his jaw.

Normally I let him pace because it's how he thinks, but this is different. This seems like he's

doing it to stop from letting the rage take over.

I try thinking up ways to help him, but when he's like this he always ignores me. What would I

want if I had a bad day and needed to de-stress? That's easy, I'd want someone to listen to me vent
and then help take my mind off my troubles.

Jay's not like me though; he has a hard time unleashing verbally what's bothering him, but he

needs to know all the bad shit he experiences isn't for him to deal with alone.

“Jay,” I say, trying to capture his attention.
Nothing.
“Jay!” I shout.
Nada.
An idea pops in my head and I decide to roll with it.
I rise from the couch and hurry over to him, jumping into his arms and smacking my mouth to his.

He stumbles back in surprise. I slip my tongue through to meet his. After a few playful strokes, his
mood slightly shifts and he draws me in closer. I know the moment he lets himself connect to our kiss
and forget everything else. I mold myself into him until I know he's a hundred percent with me and
then I let go.

Without saying a word, I take him by the hand and lead him to the couch. I push his shoulders – or

at least give enough pressure that he gets what I want– so the bottom couch cushion frames his
exquisite derrière. Curiosity and intrigue are broadcasting from his features, wondering what the hell
I'm up to. I give him a quick peck before leaving to retrieve the essentials I'll need to hopefully get
him to relax and open up to me.

First stop is the bathroom to get body lotion, second is the fridge where I pull out two beers,

popping the caps off with a bottle opener.

Jay is watching me, a curious expression on his face. Whether this distracts him or not, at least I

have his full attention for the time being.

I stop in front of him, “Remove your shirt.”
Both brows lift in question before complying to my request. I do my best to not get lost in

admiration of his naked chest and abs. I can't stop my tongue from licking my lips though, he's just too
damn sexy.

I hand him a beer, clink it with mine, and take a swig, keeping my eyes to his, making sure he

does the same. He does, still confused with what I'm doing.

“Scoot forward a tad,” I request.
Jay immediately follows my orders and I can't stop myself from smiling, knowing I'm the only

person he puts this much trust into.

He sees my smile and his eyes shine in a way that will never make me doubt the love he has for

me, making me feel like there is no separation between our two bodies; that despite our separate
forms we still remain a whole, and no amount of distance can change that.

Reminding myself to stay on task, I climb behind his back, letting my bent legs hit his sides, my

bottom resting on the top of the couch. I gulp down more of my beer and encourage Jay to do the
same. I place my bottle between cushions to keep it from spilling over.

I turn the program's volume up before squirting lotion into my hands. I rub them together,

smoothing it over his shoulders and upper back, stopping only to get more lotion. My fingers and
hands start kneading and massaging. His muscles are rock hard and I doubt he feels my small hands. I
apply more pressure, paying extra attention to his neck and shoulder blades. I travel down his spine,
placing my forehead on the back of his head to reach down, his back automatically bending to my
touch to allow me more access.

I'm half listening to the show, half focused on what I'm doing. Whenever Jay chuckles and takes a

swig of beer my heart soars. Halfway through the show his tension releases. When I concentrate on
his neck, it rolls back and rests on my chest. He lifts his beer up for me and tilts it into my mouth so I
can have a drink. I kiss his forehead as a thank you and have never felt more content when his eyes
close, his lips curving enough to show how my kiss affected him.

I love the sound of us laughing simultaneously during funny parts of the show. When his beer is

finished I grab mine, gulp down half and hand it to him. He kisses my knee, and although the fabric of
my pajama bottoms is between us, it still makes me hyper aware that he's between my legs, his top
half naked.

During the commercial break, before the next show starts, I bring my lips to his ear, my hands

still massaging, “You hungry, baby? I can get you something to eat?”

“Yeah,” he gruffly responds. This noise is different than the previous gruffness I used to loath.

This one is the sound of a relaxed man.

My hands place extra pressure on his shoulders to help hoist myself up. I swing a leg over his

head to jump off the back of the couch. I put an extra sway into my hips as I walk to the kitchen,
sensing his eyes on me, making me feel girly and seductive.

Jay's fridge doesn't have much in it, so I have to settle on a turkey and avocado sandwich. I bring

the plate of food over with two new beers. I place them on the table in front of the couch.

Jay gives me a crooked grin before taking the plate and beer. I lay on my back, placing my feet on

his lap, drinking my beer and watching the next show.

When Jay finishes he delicately moves my legs to get up, placing them gently back down on the

couch like I'm fragile and might break. This sweetness has me glowing from the inside. He takes my
empty bottle, kissing my forehead, and heads to the kitchen, coming back with three new bottles. He
gives one to me, sets one in front of him on the table, sits down, and drinks the other. I eye the one on
the table before briefly meeting his gaze. He winks and continues watching the show, keeping a hand
absentmindedly running back and forth along my legs.

By the end of the show I have a buzz going and I feel relaxed. Jay takes away our empty bottles

and I'm glad when he comes back empty handed. Instead of sitting back down, he lays his body over
mine. A forearm resting above my head, his other hand trails up my body. He dips his face, tickling
the sensitive skin of my neck with his scruff. His wet lips and tongue fondle the area, working their
way along my neck. His fingers glide up my sides and I love that he can still make me shiver from his
touch.

While his fingers glide his thumb pushes up my top, one hand circling around to support my back

and lift me up enough so I can remove my shirt.

His lips circle around my nipple and my lips part to breathe out a sigh, my hand taking hold of the

nape of his neck as my back arches into it. His hand travels down to slip under my panties. His mouth
connects to mine, wanting the sound of my moan to transfer into his mouth when he plays between my
folds. The more he works it the more I pant and squirm underneath him.

“I want you inside me,” I declare as I get closer, wanting to share this with him.
He pulls back to remove his pants and I lift up my hips so he can do the same to me. He lays back

on top, eyes finding mine as he moves the hair from my shoulders and tucks it behind my ear. He
softly kisses me before taking my hands and holding them above my head, entwining our fingers. Our
eyes stay locked together as he enters me. He rocks his hips, making the movements slow and
torturous, deliberately taking his time, sending us to the brink of pleasure but never giving enough to
send us over.

Being brought to the brink while staring into Jay's eyes that are so full of love is almost too much.

It has me overwhelmed, not knowing how to handle this extreme of an emotion, but I can't seem to
look away. This raw connection we're sharing makes me feel incredibly vulnerable and terrified with
how much this man owns me, body and soul. Someone having this kind of power over you is painful
in a way, because it makes you aware of how they can shatter and destroy you like no one else ever
could.

Jay's brows pull together as though he's experiencing the same painful knowledge that I am.
“Oh, Lily,” he sighs, low and deep, his head falling down as though it weighs too much and he

can't support it any longer. It meets the cushion and the crook of my neck, his lips and warm breath
hitting my skin. Both our hips start picking up speed and I turn my head so half my face is covering
his, my cheek pressed against his temple. I desperately want to touch him, but at the same time not
being in control and allowing him to dominate my body is thrilling me in a way I never imagined.

I wrap my legs around him, digging my heels into his ass, pushing him in further and scrunching

my lower abs to raise me up, bringing him even deeper. We stay like this, rocking and circling,
neither of us ready to take the plunge that will send us over the edge.

“Come with me, Lily. Let's do this together,” he whispers into my neck, an unspoken promise that

we're in this together, no matter how terrifying and overwhelming it is.

The fact that I'm not alone, that he wants to dive in together, has me nodding my head and

breathing into his ear, “Don't let me do this alone.”

My eyes squeeze together as he grips my hands even tighter and starts slowly thrusting in and out.
“I'm right there with you,” Jay swears. “Lily,” he moans, our hips rocking and thrusting in unison.
“Now, Jay. I'm ready,” I breathe close to his ear.
One final plunge and we're both leaving the ground together, letting it take us to immeasurable

heights. We land in the ripples of our pleasure, gasping for air. Neither of us can move while we
recover from our breathtaking climax.

Jay's the first to move, getting the remote to change from some late night drama to an old episode

of How I Met Your Mother.

He sees my smile, “What?”
“This is one of my favorite shows.”
He grins, “Mine too.”
Jay pecks my lips before twisting his body to my side. I scoot over to give him more room. Half

his body drapes over me and he rests his head on my chest. I play with his soft hair, twisting it

between my fingers.

“Rough day?” I take a chance and ask, hoping he'll feel he can open up and let me in.
“Yeah,” he exhales with his whole body. “Figuring out all the ways he can get into here is

exhausting. The security system in this place is one of the best, but I know he'll find a way in and I
haven't a clue how. How am I supposed to prepare if I don't even know where to begin? And then
there's Asswipe always breathing down my neck, getting in my business. He thinks because he's
family it gives him the right to interfere, and after today I don't want him anywhere near me. There is
no way in hell I'm letting him help on this. Then Vault keeps having me take part in things, like I'm his
fucking employee. I can't say no, considering he's letting me use his place, putting his own life at risk.
He knows it too. I think he's enjoying watching me do shit he knows I hate, teaming me with Asswipe
just to see me having to force myself to not hurt him. I have to hold in my rage all day. When I got
home I didn't want to lose it, but I was so close to exploding.”

I'm not sure if I'm supposed to give him words of comfort, advice, or just keep stroking his back.

This is new territory for me. We still have so much to learn about ourselves as a couple and as
individuals, but I look forward to figuring it out together.

“Is this what normal is?” Jay asks as we continue to watch the show.
“What part?”
“All of it. Having a shitty day and coming home to someone who takes care of you. Making love

to that person. Sharing your day. Realizing every day can suck if it means your evenings end like
this.”

“I don't know,” I answer truthfully, “My parents either avoided each other or argued.”
Jay doesn't respond, just cuddles more of me under him.
“I hope this is our normal,” he quietly confides after a few more minutes.
“It'll be better,” I promise.
“Yeah,” he agrees, turning off the TV. He lifts me into his arms and carries me to his bed, where

we make love once again. This time the slowness of it doesn't scare us, but fuses us together even
more.

Chapter 21

Tuesday, March 25
8:53am

My eyes flutter open to find Jay staring back at me, face inches from mine. I start to smile and ask

him if he was watching me sleep, but pause after I take in the sadness he's conveying through his eyes.

I think I know what that look means, causing my expression to mirror his. We soak the other in,

memorizing all that we can.

I manage to get up the courage to speak, already knowing the answer, “You're sending me home

today.”

“Yeah,” his gravelly morning voice confirms, fingers running along my lips.
His eyes are killing me right now. The tortured sadness behind them is almost more than I can

bear.

“This sucks.”
He pulls me into him, “I wish I didn't have to.”
“I know,” I murmur along his neck. “Can I say goodbye to Ben and Arianna first?”
Jay nods against my head, holding me tighter to him. We stay this way a long time, silent tears

falling down my cheeks.

We break apart and mournfully go make coffee together, cuddling on the couch while we drink it.
“I don't want it to be like last time,” Jay confesses. “I don't want it to hurt like that.”
“How can it not?”
“Let's get out of here for a few hours, go for a drive and have some fun.”
I try not to get excited, “Really?”
Jay combs his fingers through my hair, “I'm hoping it will take some of the sting out if we have

some fun first.”

I jump up, “Okay! And let's pretend I'm not leaving, we're just two people in love and spending

time together.”

He grins, “I like it.”
I hurry to the bathroom to wash up and brush my teeth. I go back to the bedroom area and pull out

the summer dress Arianna gave to me last night (so I would have something else to wear besides what
I came here in).

Jay's coming out of the bathroom and walking towards me as I'm making sure the end is pulled

down and not stuck in my underwear.

He places a hand on the chest of drawers and the other over his heart, letting his knees bend a bit

as though the sight of me has knocked him off balance, “Where the hell did you get that, and where can
I buy you more?”

“Arianna,” I smile, loving his reaction and wanting to get a thousand more dresses just like it.
“I officially approve of your friendship.” He crooks a finger at me and I eagerly come closer. He

lifts me so I'm sitting on top of the dresser, nudging my legs open so he can come between them. His
hands trail up my bare thighs, lifting the dress up with them, sending a zing that starts at my head and
another at my toes, causing them to crash together and flutter my stomach.

“I've got it bad for you, Lily,” Jay confesses, as though he shouldn't be feeling this way, watching

his hands roam further up. “I didn't know it would be like this.”

“So consuming,” I whisper more to myself than to Jay, knowing what he means.
“Yeah,” he breathes, peering up at me, “It's intense, huh?”
“Yes,” I answer honestly, hoping the more I give to him the more he'll give back, “and scary, but

at the same time it couldn't be more wonderful.”

“Or perfect,” he adds, his mouth and tongue meeting my collarbone.
I want to agree, but his thumbs have slipped between the elastic of my panties and started

stroking and teasing. I grab hold of his biceps, scooting us closer, pressing his hard cock against me,
rubbing against his hands so I feel all three. My body lets out a shiver of pleasure.

“Why can't you say the words anymore?” I ask, knowing he understands what I mean.
“I don't know.” Jay places his forehead to mine, continually playing with me, and I'm barely able

to concentrate on what he's saying, “Last time everything was happening so fast, and I wanted to make
sure you knew I was feeling everything you were. I think now...” he sighs and softly kisses my lips.
“I'm afraid that somehow I'm cursed, and if the universe hears me something will happen and you'll be
taken away from me again.”

How does he always manage to break my heart in more ways than I thought were possible?
“I do though. You know that right?”
I nod, not wanting to get choked up if I try to speak.
“Good,” he gruffly lets out, his hands sliding around to get a better grip and tugging me so I slam

right up against him. He brings his lips to my ear, “I'm going to fuck you into oblivion now.”

10:53am

We're in the private parking garage a block down from the bank. I'm watching Jay do a sweep of

a black Aston Martin DB9 (I read it on the back), making sure it's safe after two guards did the same.

When we went to get the keys, Ben was back to being friendly and caring towards me, even

giving me a tour of his office, which to my disappointment was just an office, but this one had
windows all around and the only elevator that takes you to the top floor. I literally had to bite my
tongue to stop myself from asking what the top floor was.

I think I scared Ben when I hugged him goodbye. He stiffly patted my shoulder in response. I

made him promise to call me if something happened I needed to know about.

“I'm surprised you're not worried about something happening,” I admit.
Jay closes the trunk with a smug smirk on his face, “It won't be a problem, I'm driving.”
Cocky bastard, but damn if I don't want to fuck him over the hood of this car right now.
He opens the passenger side door and motions for me to get in. I sink into the leather seat in pure

luxury heaven. This has to be the sexiest car I have ever been in, probably because it's also the most
expensive car I have ever been in (or will probably ever be in again).

Flipping his shades down, Jay pulls out into city traffic.
“Do I ever get to find out what's on that file Ben desperately had to have?” The only thing I know

about it is the seven numbers used to identify it.

“Honestly, Lily, I don't even know. Vault's a private man, but from what I gather it's a list of

every bank that's similar to Vault's and their top clients. You hungry?” He adds on, signifying he's
done with this conversation.

I nod, slouching down, bummed.

“Good. There's a great place that has amazing eggs benedict. Does that sound good to you? They

have a bunch of other stuff too.”

“That's one of my favorites.”
Jay smiles broadly at me, “For being so completely different, I love how many things we have in

common.”

“That's because we were made for each other.”
I expect him to laugh at my response and how cheesy it is, but his smile widens. He relaxes back

into his seat, taking my hand in his and giving it a squeeze.

We drive out of the city and towards the coast, Jay's hand stroking the bare skin on the inside of

my thigh. I think he likes to feel the goosebumps that form from his touch and the occasional tremble
my body lets out.

I roll down my window to take in a deep breath of salty sea air. This moment is perfect: the sun

is shining, the waves of the ocean are calm and rippling, Jay carefree as he drives. A content sigh
slips out.

I don't allow myself to think about my departure; I want to enjoy the moment, because I'm not sure

when I'll see him again.

My throat forms a lump and tears burn the back of my eyes.
Crap, this is exactly what I don't want.
I turn on the satellite radio, searching for a station that plays the latest hits. I force Jay to listen to

me sing as loud as I can, making him laugh at how I can never seem to get the words right.

I can't wait for the day we can do this whenever we want, with no impending doom hovering

over us. When we can just be a couple.

“Fuck!” Jay cries out, startling me. His hand comes out to shove me against the seat at the exact

moment a car hits our rear. I would have whipped forward if he wasn't restraining me. He curses
some more, working the clutch and shifting to a higher speed, “Hold on.”

He pushes a button on the steering wheel and the inside of the car rings from a phone. The minute

it clicks he speaks, “I've got someone on my tail. Track us and send men out.” He pushes the button
again. “Lily, for once you're going to need to listen to me.”

Jay points to the glove box, “Take the gun in there.”
With a pounding heart I do what he asks.
“Are things about to get danger–” I don't get the chance to finish because the car behind us plows

into us again, lifting up the back end of our car. I bite my lip to hold in a scream, knowing that's not
going to help the situation.

My head jolts as the back end bounces back into the road, Jay keeping control of the car.
“What's going on?” I try to come out smooth, but I'm freaking out and there's no way of hiding it,

“Is that him?”

“I don't know,” Jay grits through his teeth. “Their face is shadowed behind the visor.” He slams

his hand on the steering wheel, “FUCK!”

I take in deep breaths, hoping to calm my nerves down. My heart is straining to burst out of my

chest.

“I can't catch a fucking break,” he mutters under his breath.
Our car has gained some distance from the other thanks to Jay's driving skill. We got lucky that

nobody is out today and the roads are clear. Or maybe we didn't.

A long stretch of road is before us and Jay slowly releases the gas.
“What are you doing?!” I screech, my side mirror showing the other vehicle catching up to us.

“I need to find out who I'm dealing with so I know how fucked we are.”
My stomach knots and I distract myself from going into hysterics by inspecting the gun, becoming

familiar with the weight of it.

The other car takes the bait and pulls along side of us, trying to swerve us off the road. I keep one

hand on the “oh shit” bar and the other around the gun.

Jay remains in control, not letting the car move us too much, “I need to focus, can you see who's

in there?”

I lean forward and actually sigh with relief, because it's some forty year old looking guy with a

bad comb over, “It's not him. It's only some other guy.” It's only some other guy? How can I sound so
casual about it? He's still trying to get us. I shake my head, finding amusement over the fact that this
brought me a smudge of comfort.

“Thank God,” Jay exhales.
The other car slams into our side, Jay having a harder time controlling it. I'm just thankful we are

not on the other side with the cliffs. Our side has hills, but I'd rather crash into those than go over an
edge.

“Okay, up ahead is a turn. I'm going drift it so you face his front. Do you think you can handle

shooting a tire or two?”

“You're shitting me, right?” Now it's my turn to be cocky.
Jay guns it and grins, successfully getting ahead of the car again, “That's my girl.”
I double check that the gun is ready to go and roll my window all the way down, “I'm going to

need to unbuckle.”

Jay swipes his head, “Shit, Lily, that makes me way too fucking nervous.”
“Worry about driving, not me, okay?”
He takes in a gulp of air, expanding his chest, and nods his head while letting it all flow out.
“Pretend I'm Charlie or something.”
“Charlie wouldn't wear that kind of dress, it doesn't have any pink on it.”
I can't tell if he's messing with me or not and I don't have time to figure it out.
I sit on my knees to make it easier to lean part of me out the window, waiting to aim until Jay

begins turning the wheels into the corner. The minute the back end drifts behind us my arms extend,
finger on the trigger.

Trying to focus with the wind blowing my hair into my face while we're drifting around a corner

is almost impossible.

The first bullet that leaves the muzzle hits the rim. I curse, take a deep breath, and remind myself

to concentrate and shut the world out, knowing the opportunity will be lost any second as Jay comes
out of the turn. I fire again, successfully hitting a front tire just before our car straightens out. I twist
my body to better see out the back window.

The other car spins out of control, only stopping when it smashes into a guard rail, it's side lifting

up. I hold my breath expecting it to flip all the way over, but it lands back down with a thud, glass
shattering.

Jay turns the car around to drive back towards the vehicle, parking a yard away from it. He pulls

out another gun and gets out, “Stay here.”

I watch him creep over to the other vehicle, gun aimed.
“What if it's a bomb?” I shout out the window.
“He wouldn't have come after us like that if there was. Besides, the impact would have set it

off.”

Okay, good. It still makes me anxious watching him.
I aim my gun up the road.
“What are you doing?” Jay yells over to me, feet away from the driver's side door.
“There's going to be another car.” There's always another car.
Jay chuckles, “It's not going to be exactly like last time, Lily.”
I don't care. I'm not taking any chances.
“Baby,” Jay's voice is calm, as though he's trying to talk someone down from the ledge, “The

guy's bleeding out, he's in a lot of pain. Are you going to be okay if I...you know...”

I glance over to an apprehensive Jay.
“Is there any way he can make it?”
He scratches his scruff before hollering back, “I really don't think so.”
“Really? Or are you also worried he knows of my existence?”
“Both,” he confesses, unashamed.
I groan, “Why do you have to make this my decision?”
“I'm not going to kill someone in front of you.”
“I can't make that kind of decision, Jay. Do what you think is best.”
A shot fires instantly, making me flinch.
Jay's busy inspecting something when I notice another car barreling down the road at an

incredible speed.

Without thinking I hop out of the car and move around to the front, readying my gun to take it out.

I hesitate as it gets closer, knowing it could just be a fast driver.

“Do it, Lily,” Jay commands. “Take the chance.”
My finger pulls the trigger the very moment he finishes the last word.
This driver appears to have better control of his car, not letting it spin out of control as it

fishtails. The driver seems to purposely turn it so he's heading straight for me.

Before I have the chance to react, Jay plows into my side and we're airborne, crashing back

down as we narrowly miss being hit by the car. It smashes into the metal guard rail, crumpling it's
front end.

Jay lifts up, staying on all fours above me, “Shit, baby. Did I hurt you?”
I can tell I might have some bruises and scratches, but nothing serious, “No, I'm fine.”
“I almost had a heart attack,” he kisses my head and stands, helping me to do the same, “I'm

checking on our new arrival.”

The driver's door opens as Jay gets closer.
“The little shit,” Jay fumes, pulling whoever it is out by the shirt and throwing the body to the

ground, kicking it in the ribs, “Were you trying to get us killed, motherfucker?!”

Jay bends over the body and removes their gun. When he takes a step back I can finally see the

man's face.

Asswipe.
He obviously doesn't have a desire to live.
Jay pulls a cell phone out of his pocket and explains what just happened to someone on the other

end, ensuring that they are close by to help clean this up before we get noticed.

Asswipe takes the opportunity to reach down his leg, revealing a holster and gun. He pulls it out

slowly to not bring attention to himself.

I automatically fire, shooting a bullet through his hand, effectively sending his gun flying over the

edge.

Jay looks over at me, eyebrows raised in surprise, “Thanks, babe.”
I shrug, like I do it all the time. With a shaky hand I wipe away the hair strands that have blown

in my face from the wind. My dress also whips around me and I like seeing the way Jay seems
momentarily paralyzed, eyes glued to the way it's clinging to my body.

“You're so fucking hot looking with that gun in your hands.”
Asswipe is moaning in pain, spewing a slew of curse words directed at me and how badly he's

going to make me pay, sadly distracting Jay from telling me how perfect I am.

Jay takes him by the throat, “Who else knows about her?”
Asswipe doesn't respond,
“I'll only help you if you answer.”
“Just the guy I hired,” he can barely get the words out from Jay's tight grip.
“You know what will happen to you if you're lying, right?”
“You'll kill me?” Asswipe stupidly mocks.
Jay gets right up in his face, “Worse. I will cut you limb from limb with a dull saw, taking my

time cutting through the bone.”

I scrunch up my face in disgust, “God, Jay, way to sound like a psychopath.”
Jay glares at me for interfering. I curl my lips in, realizing he's just saying that shit to scare the

hell out of him. Oops. That would be why he wants me keeping my mouth shut.

Asswipe goes to speak but Jay tells him to shut it.
“It's about time,” Jay mumbles in response to the black Escalade that arrives.
Charlie is the first to get out. I wouldn't be surprised if Asswipe's next few breaths are his last.

Charlie yanks a pained Asswipe, who's hand is bleeding all over him.

Charlie informs Jay to get me out of here, they'll have this mess dealt with.
“You tell Vault that he better not be an issue anymore, and Lily's safety better be guaranteed,” Jay

mandates.

“He won't be a problem, trust me,” Charlie reassures.
That seems good enough for Jay and he leads us back to the car.
As we take off, Jay is tapping the steering wheel with his fingers and his legs are bouncing, “I

can't believe he tried doing that!”

I still have a shit-ton of adrenaline flowing through me and can hardly sit still, “You're going to

be pissed at me for saying this, but that was fun!” If I ignore the dead guy. I just have to remind myself
he was hired to kill me, right? I can't even tell if that's right or wrong anymore.

“Jesus, Lily. You were so fucking hot back there. Especially when you were leaning out the

window, damn..” Jay grabs my hand and places it between his legs so I can feel how hard the length
of him is, “I've been this way since then. Someone's trying to kill us and I fucking want you.”

“I can't believe you were watching me and not the road!” I secretly love it.
“I couldn't help it, the dress came right up over your ass. And the look on your face when you

concentrate? Fuck me, it was sexy as hell.”

My hand cups him more and he groans, tightening his hold on me, putting more pressure over my

hand, assisting me in my strokes.

I'm hit with a sudden urge for sex so strong I might go insane. “Is this the adrenaline making me

feel this way?” I ask, unzipping his pants to get a better hold.

Jay's eyes roll back as he nods, his voice hoarse, “Yes.”
I stroke him harder while my other hand cups my breast, tweaking a nipple.
The car speeds up. Both our windows are down, the sea air whipping my hair around. I close my

eyes and let the high I'm feeling overtake my body. Jay places a hand between my legs and I roll my
hips into it, needing more friction. I feel everything to the extreme, like I'm on a drug that has
awakened my senses to the max.

Jay growls, “Jesus, you're so wet your panties are damp.”
A finger slides under, running between my folds. He brings it out and slowly licks it off his

finger. I watch, my arousal taking possession of my body.

I slide my hand down, wetting my fingers, Jay having a hard time concentrating on the road,

wanting to watch me. When I feel they are lubricated enough I reach over and stroke his cock. His
head falls back for a fraction of a second, his cock twitching in my hand.

“Lily, baby,” he pants, “I'm going to fuck you so hard you'll see stars.”
By the time we reach the garage and Jay has parked in the far back, we are both flushed, greedy

to rip the other's clothes off.

I slide out, ready to run to his place if I have to, never needing release so badly in my life.
Jay has other plans as he comes around to my side, slamming the door shut and hooking an arm

around my waist. His other hand wraps around my neck, backing me right up against his hard chest.
His teeth bite down on the sensitive spot below my ear, sucking in with his tongue.

“Jay,” I moan, grinding back into him. If there's ever a moment in my life I need to be fucked, it's

now. I want it hard, I want it rough. I want to lose myself in it, not once considering we are in a
parking garage for anyone to see.

The arm around my waist lifts me, bringing us over to the hood of the car before setting me down,

his mouth not once leaving my skin, taunting it with what's to come.

I flip the back of my dress over my ass, sticking it out and placing both hands on the hood of the

car.

A hiss gets sucked between Jay's teeth. He backs up enough that a cold chill passes over my

flesh. Material rips between my legs, Jay throwing my undies behind him. His warm hands roam over
each cheek, massaging them in circles, giving each a hard slap.

Jay's zipper comes down and material is moved. The flesh of his head rests between my cheeks,

daring to enter the back, “There's not a part of you I don't plan on claiming one day, making sure your
body never forgets who it belongs to.”

A ripple of pure, overwhelming desire passes through me, anticipating the day he completely

owns the very last of me.

I open my mouth to respond but lose air when he pulls my hips back and slams right into me. At

this moment he can't drive inside me hard or fast enough. I sense he feels the same way because he
starts pounding me without giving us a chance to catch our breath, adjusting my legs so I can take it
deeper than I ever have.

His lips are lightly touching the top of my spine, each puff of air he lets out adding to the thrill

and heat of the moment. His hands dig further into my hips, forcefully bringing them back into him.

Every nerve in my body comes alive, all ready to explode, my release shuddering my entire

body.

“Oh, fuck. Lily, yes,” he bites into my shoulder, holding in his urge to loudly vocalize what I'm

doing to him as I come, clenching tightly around him as I do. “Keep coming, baby. That feels so
fucking good.” One hand moves between my legs, coercing it into another one, “Milk my cock, let him
know who owns it.”

Those few simple words are all I need, sending me spiraling into another orgasm that rips

through my body. When Jay places a hand over my mouth to silence the scream I come harder, not

understanding how such a simple act could be so thrilling.

Jay erupts from my submission, giving me one last hard plunge that smacks us against the car,

assuring that every drop he has is buried deep, unable to escape.

“I love you,” he softly confides, falling over me, trying to dig himself further in, lost in the

moment where we have escaped into our own secluded bubble. “I love you so fucking much.”

Tears well at my eyes but Jay doesn't allow me time to succumb to them. He flips me around,

forcing my bottom to lay on the hood. He squats down, his massive hands overtaking the insides of my
thighs, massaging their way up, his mouth and tongue devouring me, eagerly catching any drop that
escapes.

Jay growls, his front teeth nipping, making me buck against his mouth, pushing his head in more

with my hands. He has me relinquishing one more time, vowing my love for him through it all.

When he's satisfied not a drop is left, he closes my legs and pulls me up by the bend of my back

with his forearms.

Instead of wrapping my arms around his neck like he's anticipating, I slide down to his still

opened pants and take him into my mouth, wanting to taste us together and clean him as he did me.

Jay lets out a whimper, knotting his fingers with my hair, trying not to force my face into him, not

realizing that I never want him to hold back on me. I crave the moment he unleashes himself and lets
himself feel, no matter what the emotion or desire is.

I pull him in deeper to find out what kind of reaction I can get out of him, hoping to unlock what

ever he keeps trying to hold back from me.

The more he grows in my mouth the firmer he takes hold of my hair, resisting the urge to force

himself further back.

I vibrate my throat, encouraging him. He loses control, pushing my face to meet his flesh, taking

himself to the back of my throat, thrusting in and out with his hips, head thrown back in ecstasy. The
cry he tries to stifle as he spurts into my mouth is the most erotic, sensuous noise I've ever heard.

He pulls me up, trying to wrap himself around me, pushing back my matted hair to bury his face

in my neck, “Please tell me you believe that I'll never give up on us. I swear it. I'm forever yours,
Lily.”

“I believe you, Jay.” And I do, more than I've ever believed in anything.

Chapter 22

3:33pm

Jay gives me a swift kiss before the elevator door starts to close to take him to Vault's level. He

wants to make sure everything has been taken care of, insuring my safety.

I slap my hand over the door to prevent it from sliding closed, “Hey now, I want a real kiss.”
Jay shakes his head, “Can't Lily, 'cause then I'm going to want to do other stuff.”
I pout, “But I like the other stuff.”
He gives me a wink while removing my hand, “Me too, and there lies the problem.”
The door slides shut and I walk back to his place in a dreamlike daze. There is not a part of me

that is not insanely in love with that man.

I scan myself in and continue my happy walk to my pillow to pull out my nightshirt.
Asswipe actually did me a favor. Jay won't be sending me home until tomorrow, needing to

confirm that nobody will follow me or know that I exist.

As I'm about to lift up my dress a cold chill creeps down my spine and along my skin. I have this

strange overpowering sense that I'm not alone, that there is someone else in the apartment.

I clutch Jay's shirt tighter to my chest as my body stiffens with every passing microsecond, afraid

to turn around. The evil that seems to be lurking all around me is getting closer, my nerves tingling in
a way that tells me I have become prey and my hunter is circling in on me.

I squeeze my lids shut and try to listen for other sounds: a footstep, breathing, but I don't hear

anything. Goosebumps are covering my exposed skin. I'm frozen in my spot, afraid to move in case
I'm right.

I can do this. I just have to turn around. I'll find the place empty and feel silly for acting so

ridiculous. A black form catches my peripheral mid-turn.

Oh shit.
I'm terrified right now, I mean really terrified. I've somehow become that girl in horror movies

that you are yelling at to turn around, the killer's right behind her while she's naked in her room getting
in her hot nightie.

That's me right now.
Except for the naked and hot nightie parts.
I force myself to turn the rest of the way around at the same time a figure takes a step forward. A

scream catches in my throat, my fear turning to horror at the cherry red lips that catch my sight first. I
swallow another blood curdling scream that is clawing and digging it's way up, hanging on to my
uvula like it's a tire swing.

My eyes travel up the pale skin, past a crooked nose that appears to have been broken once or

twice, and meet black spectacles embedded into two eye sockets.

My body has the good sense to stumble back and scramble over the bed, but now I'm flat against

the wall with nowhere to go.

“Hello, Miss Evans.” His voice is deeper than I expected on his long, thin, lanky body. It even

has somewhat of a rasp to it, like someone punched his windpipes one too many times. “I've been
watching you,” his voice doesn't quite have his sister's drawl. It's there, but faint.

Why am I focusing on all this?

I think it's because I'm trying not to freak out. I'm trying to distract myself from the fact that The

Marker himself is standing only feet away from me.

He steps closer, his legs knocking into the bed.
I press further against the wall, not having a clue where to go or what to do.
I'm still clutching the shirt, wanting to put it on for comfort but unable to do so.
His head tilts slightly to the side, a villainous curve appearing on his lips. He knows he's in

complete control over me and this situation; he's feeding off of it.

Jay is now the center of my thoughts. He doesn't even know he's here; that Kolme Dragoni is

here, and he's here with me.

Is this it? Was that tiny peck we shared our last kiss? The last time we would see each other?
No. It can't be. This can't be how it ends.
I try and remember where a gun is as I distractedly watch The Marker wandering around the bed,

inspecting the long dresser, running his index finger along the edges, pausing to touch different
objects.

A gun is on my nightstand, only a few feet away. It's just sitting there, antagonizing me, daring me.
Am I fast enough to grab it and shoot? Do I really have a choice?
No, unfortunately I don't.
I leap for it at the same time The Marker flies towards me. His bony fingers latch around my

ankles, bringing me down, but not before I successfully seize the gun. I twist my body enough to aim it
right between his brows and pull the trigger.

It only clicks. I try again, a whimper scraping my throat when it fails.
“Did you really think I hadn't inspected this place while you were gone?” I'm on my back, legs

bent, his bony, disfigured fingers firmly wrapped around my calves. It's enough contact to make me
feel like I'm being buried alive, that insects, spiders, and other creepy crawlers are welcoming me
into the dirt. “Did you think I wouldn't be watching...learning...waiting?”

“How long have you been here?” The words are barely forming out of my mouth.
His mischievous expression lets me know he'll never tell. This gives me an all new set of creeps

scurrying all over my skin at the idea of him watching us this whole time, fluttering around the
building.

He raises his left hand, the one with three gold claws at the end, and places it around my neck,

taking away air but allowing me enough to still breathe, “Let's go find Mister Lincoln. I want him to
see my first kill.”

This really can't be it; this can't be how it ends.
“He won't care,” I try, knowing it won't work but desperate to try something. “I'm another

Arianna to him, it's just fucking and good times.” I'm not sure if he even knows who Arianna is, but I
figure he probably knows everything about Jay.

He gives me another all-knowing smile that calls bullshit on my failed attempt to be let go.

Something tells me he knows exactly what I mean to Jay.

“Please don't do this,” I desperately plea. “Please just let us be. Let Jay live. Why can't you just

let him have a chance at a life?” Tears have now formed, but I don't allow them to take over.

“I can't do that, Miss Evans. I like the game too much,” his hand tightens around my neck.
I drop the gun to try and pry his fingers away, needing more oxygen. He pulls me up by the neck

while I get red-faced and am hysterically kicking, trying to remove his hold. Once I'm at a standing
position, he loosens his hold and I cough in the air my lungs are begging me for.

He whips his body around me so my back's against his front, his clawed hand still wrapped

around my throat, “Let's go.”

I plant my feet to the floor, trying to prolong the inevitable for as long as I can. The Marker tips

the ends of the claws, pricking my skin, his lips resting on my ear, “Play along, Miss Evans.”

Play along to the arrival of my death and the man that I love?
I don't think so.
“I'm not really giving you much of a choice,” his accent thicker than before as he responds to

words I meant to keep to myself.

I continue trying to prolong the inevitable, still hoping the most brilliant idea ever will pop into

my head.

“I was planning on making this as painless as possible for you, but don't tempt me to draw it out

and make you beg for death.”

Well okay. I quickly follow in step.
I let my legs move along with his while my brain searches far and wide for an idea, any idea at

all, even a crappy one. Anything is better than being led to my death and Jay's.

We're halfway to the door when it flings open and Jay carelessly strides in, unaware.
“Changed my mind!” He declares with a big, happy smirk on his face. He freezes, along with his

smile, horror evident in his eyes as they take us in. It distorts his mouth into a misshapen grimace.

A “no” expels from his lips as a puff of air that disappears as soon as it's made.
His eyes travel to the three gold claws that are slightly indented into my throat, causing blood to

pool to the surface.

His eyes lock on mine and his pain becomes palpable as it permeates the air, changing the

atmosphere so that there's not a sense left that does not feel his agony, his pain, his undeniable
suffering.

“So sweet, like a lily,” the mad man who has me drawls out, his lips brushing my hair while his

noses pushes into the strands, deeply inhaling through them. “Did I ever tell you how that's my
favorite flower?”

I try holding back a shudder, but his hot breaths are pouring down me like tar, it's blackness

suffocating my pores, filling them with fear.

I pray my face doesn't resemble how I'm feeling; it would only destroy Jay more. What makes it

worse is this evil man's purposely toying with him, provoking his anger and hatred knowing he can't
make a move or my life will be over.

The Marker's head dips down to lick a fresh drop of blood. His claws start to dig deeper as he

hums his satisfaction from the taste of my blood. Or maybe it's from causing more to pour out, I'm not
really sure which. It's most likely both.

“Mm,” he has the nerve to moan out loud, lifting his head, my blood coated on his lips. He licks

them slowly and hums some more. “Beautiful. I see why you have such a fondness for her.”

Nothing these gold claws could do to me would ever compare to how I feel watching Jay dying

inside, helpless with what to do.

“You're next,” the mad man's excited voice breathes out in pure satisfaction as his claws begin

dragging deeper and further across my flesh.

I mouth to the man across the room that I love him before squeezing my eyes shut from the pain

and wanting to remember Jay happy and not the look on his present face right before I cease to exist.

Jay

Chapter 23

3:49pm

I know what I have to do. I can't physically beat him, I've tried that already.
I take one last look at Lily, at the face that owns my soul, at the woman I will forever love. She is

the only thing that matters to me. If she dies, I might as well too. That is what determines my decision.
This is the moment it becomes clear what I have to do, a plan that if I can pull it off will finally end
all this.

I pull out my nine and bring it to my temple, “So this is how it ends.”
The Marker remains still, his claws coming to a halt before they have caused further damage,

trying to gauge if I'm bluffing.

I stand strong and sure. It's fucked up, but I would do it. I just hope he sees that and doesn't want

it to end this way.

“So I guess it is,” his claws threaten to dig deeper.
I ignore Lily, not able to look at her right now, needing to remain focused.
I pull the radio out of my pocket and bring it to my lips, “I can either get Vault's men down here

right now, or I can tell them to get the hell out of here so you and I can end this the proper way.”

His claws lighten up and I try to not let my relief show. I only want the monster inside me to be

seen right now, the side of me that The Marker feeds off of and craves.

“As long as I let the girl go, I presume?”
I don't answer; he doesn't need one.
“Hm, this certainly adds a new element to things,” he licks another drop of Lily's blood as it

continues to trickle down. I've never wanted him dead more than I do right now. “I was rather looking
forward to slicing her. The pretty ones are always the funnest to watch. Like your mother; she was
one of my favorites. So beautiful.”

He's provoking me, but I won't let myself be fazed by his words. I can't let anger take away my

focus. Not this time.

“Finding two more after her won't be a problem,” he continues.
“No, it won't.” My lack of emotion feels like reconnecting with an old familiar friend, the cold

bleakness of it inviting. I've missed it in ways I can never fully explain. The machine I've trained
myself to be is so uncomplicated and simple, only needing one thing out of life.

“I could kill you and come back for her,” he's stalling. I think he's trying to figure out my angle,

what plan I have in store for him.

“Then I better make sure you die.”
A slow, gnarled smirk takes form on his face, deformed and satanic.
“It would be a shame to have your life end so easily, and by your own trigger. I've been looking

forward to this day for a long time. I fear after you I won't meet another who gives me the same
pleasurable encounters.” He stops to play with her hair, sniffing it, contemplating in that warped brain
of his. “I knew you'd make me suffer. I knew you'd put everything you had into killing me, and that I
would get to do the same to you. Only worse, of course.”

“Of course,” my vengeful foreboding agrees, “nobody wants to see you suffer a slow, agonizing

death the way I do.”

I don't like the aura emanating from him. It makes me aware that I'm not facing a human with a

soul, just a man with his own demented desires far darker than I could imagine.

He lets out a sigh while he combs her hair, “Very true. I will come back for her, just so you

know. She might not die today, but she will die. I'm going to enjoy this one.”

“You're just as dramatic as your fucked up sister. I loved getting to put a bullet through her

fucking head, the crazy bitch,” I say with almost enjoyment to it, because truthfully I did.

This snaps his head up from savoring the woman trapped under his claws. I finally sense an

emotion from him, one I'd know anywhere: revenge.

If you don't think that can be an emotion then good for you; it means your life isn't a complete

fucking mess.

“Where's my dagger?” He snarls with rage, knowing I'd killed her, but hearing it from my lips

finally ruptured him.

“Vault's office,” I disclose.
“If you're lying, I'll make her death slow and painful.”
I press a button on the radio, “Mark's on level seven-twelve. Headed to level seven-thirteen.

Clear everyone out. I expect to find the dagger there and no one else, including Vault. Nobody is to be
on that level. Over.”

The Marker doesn't protest.
Charlie comes on, “Copy.”
“Nobody is to remain on that level,” I repeat, needing to make sure he understands the

importance of this. I need Vault off that floor if I'm going to pull this off.

“Copy,” he growls through his teeth, letting me know he doesn't appreciate me not trusting he'll

follow orders.

I know he will. Even if he has to drag Vault away, he'll listen.
The Marker nods to my gun, “Slide it towards me and anything else you might have.”
I comply.
“Your turn,” I say once I've slid over my last weapon.
He drops the girl to the ground and nothing else, daring me to object, but I don't. My focus is now

on my current plan.

I open the door and give him a look to let him know I'm ready to play.
When he reaches the door a shot rings out, grazing his ear, nicking the top off.
I hear it whiz by mine.
“Shit!” Lily cries from her miss.
I take a moment to remember the surprise that briefly flashed across The Marker's face, his hand

going to the part of his missing ear, feeling the blood and missing skin. Pride coats my insides that my
woman just did that, one of the few to ever throw him off guard. I wish she would realize how
incredibly brave she is.

I use the moment to my advantage, yanking him out and throwing him to the wall, his head

cracking back on it, denting into the paint.

I slam the door shut, scan my hand, and enter in the code that locks Lily in until she figures it out

on her own. I don't need her thinking she can win this for me.

As I'm entering the last two numbers Dragoni makes his way back to me, ready to fight.
And so it begins.

Chapter 24

4:03pm

We fight with everything that we have, saving any breaking of bones until we become light on

fuel and need the extra advantage.

I'm trying to make jabs and strikes that will cause him pain but buy time until we reach Vault's

office. My plan won't work unless we're there.

The punch I take to the throat as I scan my hand at the gold elevator has me wheezing and

coughing for air.

Holy motherfucker does that shit hurt!
Fighting in an elevator has some fear surfacing from the rocking, shaking, and creaking noises it

makes as we ascend. At least if we go down there is no way he'll survive the crash.

The door opens at the moment I have the advantage over him. I pummel through, slamming him

into the wall where I begin beating him like a punching bag, for no reason other than it feels really
fucking good to hit him like this.

This is the part of myself I can never share with Lily, that I can never share with anyone. The part

of me that enjoys these encounters just as much as he does. It's so fucked up and twisted, but a part of
me needs this too.

He wraps a leg around mine, using his arms and body as leverage to twist me.
My spine cracks so painfully I grind my teeth together.
He's already beginning the real pain, trying to slow me down.
Interesting, that means I've gotten better.
I use more defense moves than anything else, needing to lead him further towards Vault's office.
I have to stop at the hall door, leaving me vulnerable while I get my hand scanned. This time, I'm

the one who gets propelled through the open door, flying so I come crashing down on a coffee table.

Shit, he's gaining advantage.
On impulse, I grab the lamp on the side table to smash over his head. It's a cheap shot that I

wouldn't normally play, but my whole plan relies on me getting past another set of doors.

The Marker is momentarily stunned and I push past him to sprint inside Vault's office where the

dagger is resting, waiting for me on his desk.

I grab it and race to the wall on the left, to the door closest to the window.
Hand scan. Code. Door opens.
My hand is fucking shaking and my heart is pounding loudly against my chest as I turn around to

find Dragoni coming after me.

I smile, an evil one that matches his.
I pull the dagger up to make sure he sees it. All movement comes to a standstill. Dragoni stops

his pursuit, identifying the dagger as though it's the only thing left on this earth that matters. I
understand his obsession; he was once mine.

I raise it and swivel to face the entrance of Vault's panic room. I pull my hand back, gripping the

end of the gold dagger, and fling it through the open door, letting go at the exact moment it needs to
safely travel through the room. It plants itself in the back wall exactly where I'd hoped it would land.

I don't wait to see Dragoni's reaction, heading straight inside and sliding from view to the left,

hoping and praying to a God I didn't think I believed in that he follows.

The moment he enters the room I punch in the numbers Vault gave me to seal the door shut,

locking the two of us inside.

Whatever happens next, I will rest in peace knowing Lily is safe; that the man who murdered my

mother and killed my father is no longer roaming the earth and can't do the same to her.

The Marker whips around. Normally I rely on a person's eyes to know what they are feeling and

their reaction, but his are covered with black spectacles. Besides, I don't really give a damn. No
matter what happens next, whether I live or die, so will he.

It ends tonight no matter what.
Fuck me, this is it.
This is the moment I've wanted since I was six years old. I don't feel the sense of peace or

excitement I thought I would. Instead, I feel more tired than ever before.

I can't do this, I don't have it in me. I'm so fucking tired. I want to curl up in a bed wrapped

around Lily and sleep away the next few years. I slouch against the wall and slide down, cradling my
head in my hands, forgetting my purpose for being here, only wishing it was time to sleep. I feel like
an eighty year old man and I'm only twenty-fucking-five.

I remember another person's in the room with me when I feel the blade of a dagger drag along my

arm, reopening a wound made ten years ago. It's not as deep this time, but enough to catch my
attention. I look up to the face I always believed to be my destiny – Kolme Dragoni, known to some
as The Marker.

“You ready to finish this?” He drawls out in a faint southern accent.
Devoid of any emotion because I have nothing left in me to give, I answer, “No. I'm done. I won't

fight you.”

I've already won.
He retraces his dagger along my scar, making the cut deeper. Normally I would feel this, but I've

become numb. The only person left that I care about, that I love, is safe somewhere behind these
walls. It doesn't matter what happens next. I don’t have it in me to care anymore. I've tried for almost
twenty years to bring this man down and failed.

He will die tonight, and I will too. I'm okay with that, I'm ready. I have a reason to die. I have

someone who's life is worth so much more than my own.

Dragoni reaches out his hand, showing off the three gold claws that take up his middle three

fingers; the ones that always send a tremble down my spine, “Is that so?”

I look him straight in the eyes, not able to see his but knowing he can see mine, “Yeah. It ends

tonight.”

His bare hand clamps around my throat, strangling me, “I'm disappointed, I thought you'd put up

more of a fight. You're weaker than I had thought.”

“Maybe I am,” I hoarsely get out. For the first time in my life, having weakness doesn't bother

me, “but I've still won.”

He releases enough to allow me to further explain.
“Don't you realize that I've trapped you in here?”
The word trapped catches his attention, his body stiffening, his head moving all around the room.
“This is a panic room. I hold the number to unlock the door and have no intention of unlocking it

until you die, even if it means I die first.”

“So be it,” his grip tightens, raising his gold claws, ready to strike.
This is where I have him and need to explain before I evaporate into nothing, “Go ahead and do

it, but know I'm the last man you will ever kill.”

“It will end with my favorite,” he declares with a foreboding leer, his lips twitching to form a

smile that makes me feel six again, taking in the sight of a man that surpassed any villain I had ever
seen. I hold back a shudder, not wanting to give him more than he has already taken from me.

“You don't understand,” I further explain, keeping my expression bleak and unreadable, “I. Will.

Be. Your. Last. Kill. There will be no three. This is it. It's just us, and whether I die or not, you most
certainly will.” The more I talk, the looser his grip becomes, and I know from this point on every
word spoken, every action I make matters, and will determine both our futures. “Vault has designed a
panic room that will takes weeks to penetrate. Since there's no food or water in here, that's plenty of
time for whoever gets stuck in here to starve to death.”

The Marker's hand drops to my collarbone and I know I have him thinking. Nothing falters on his

face and I can't see his eyes from the spectacles indented in his sockets, but somehow I know, I just
know, he's trying to figure a way out.

He retreats to the other end of the room, curling into a ball and rocking, reciting a mantra I can't

understand. On the shoulder facing me is one of the heads from his three-headed dragon tattoo, staring
straight at me as though it's been dreaming of this day as well.

I can actually visualize him as a boy taking severe beatings from his father, and for once I feel

something for this man. He needs help. He needs salvation that he sadly will never receive. I can't let
him ever get past this room. The woman on the other side is what fuels me. I can't let her live this life.
She deserves everything that I'm not, but astonishingly I'm all that she wants. I don't deserve her, but
I'm eternally grateful I met her. She makes all this bullshit worth it. She makes finally dying worth it. I
finally have a purpose in this fucked up world that deals out more shit cards than winning hands. At
least I will leave this earth knowing that the man cowering in the corner will never touch her.

“Do it, but know I will be your last. Death may finally give me some peace, and hopefully a good

night's rest,” I dare, trying not to think about Lily and how soundlessly I sleep with her next to me.

Thinking about her right now is making my chest throb, but at the same time she is all I want to

picture as the Grim Reaper enters the room, ready to take one or two souls, depending on what the
twisted man in front of me decides.

I sadly having nothing left in me to fight him.
This is the man I've wanted to kill since I knew of his existence, and I don't have enough strength

or energy to kill him. I've wasted my whole damn life for this moment, and I don't give a shit what
happens next. Knowing this is the end is good enough for me.

Once again I picture Lily and that smile she has that makes the entire world melt away. I focus on

that, wanting it to be the last thing I see before the bleakness of death disintegrates me.

The moment I come to peace with the end of my life is the moment Kolme Dragoni lifts his head

and removes his spectacles, letting me see the astonishing pale blue of his iris and the gap where his
right eye should be.

He rubs his one eye before placing the dagger between his fingers, weaving the blade up and

around each one, “A part of me was hoping that you'd become a better fighter than me. Not once did it
cross my mind that you would find a way to beat me without your hands or a weapon.

“You see, I've been watching you over the years, needing to be near you, feeding off of your

hatred. I thought I would enjoy watching you think you had a chance at beating me; how you searched
and explored, looking for me, loving that you never knew I was never more than a few miles away
from you. I loved the sense of power that brought me.”

It's my turn to be surprised. I hadn't a clue how much I meant to him, how he needed me to hate

him.

“I watched you with her.” My skin crawls from this confession, not sure if I can bear to hear the

rest. “The way you cared for her and made love to her fascinated me. I thought you were just like me.
I thought I had created you, but you had something I never had the chance to create.” He stops
weaving the dagger to look at me, “A soul. It's still inside you. I wanted to believe I had taken that
from you. Oh the thought of it...” he rests his head back and closes his eye. “The thought that I had
turned something pure into something dark and sinister is the most pleasure I have ever experienced.

“Then when I saw you with her, I saw that you had only masked who you were. How everything I

thought I had taken from you had never left. You were the one that controlled your emotions, not me.”
He lifts his head back up and turns it towards me.

I'm not sure I want to hear what he has to say next. The black hole he's trying to suck me into is

not a place I care to go, but his one clear blue eye is trying to draw me in, yearning for me to follow.

“Watching the two of you begin to heal one another and become stronger together wasn't what I

wanted to see. I needed your cold heart that lived for it's desire for revenge, that craved killing just as
much as I did. I loved that the only killing you craved was me. Only me. The obsession I have for you
could rival anything in history.

“Jealousy over that girl tempted me to kill her a hundred times. The strongest was when I

watched you becoming consumed by her, as though she was the only thing that mattered; that she's
what you lived for, who you were created for. I'm supposed to be your only obsession, not her,” he
sneers loudly, his frustration causing him to mark some of his skin with the dagger.

My heart literally stops at the hatred he has for Lily, my stomach rolling with how much of us he

saw.

Dragoni stops to make sure he has my full attention, poking the dagger at his chest right were his

heart is, “The relief I felt when I watched you leave her behind was almost as satisfying as killing my
father...” A wicked grin forms, “Almost. It meant that your hatred for me had become so much a part
of you that nothing else mattered, not even a girl who had the power to transform you into the man you
were born to be–”

“Shut up,” I bite, interrupting whatever the hell he's trying to say. “I left to keep her safe. It had

nothing to do with you.”

He pauses to contemplate, cleaning his spectacles with his black undershirt, “You truly believe

that's the only reason you moved on?”

It wasn't, but I'm too ashamed to admit it; especially to him.
I wanted Lily in a way I never thought I could possibly need another, but a part of me – no matter

how much smaller that part had become – still needed my revenge. I didn't know how to let that part
of me go.

Strength comes in more ways than one. Muscle is the weakest form. Inner strength is the

strongest, nobody can break you there. Inner is what she has, and what I should have been striving
towards.

“I craved your hatred too much. I dreamt of killing her a thousand different ways, each time more

painful than the last. Instead, I let my dear sister know where you were, wanting to find out exactly
were your true loyalties lie. You disappointed me with your decision.”

All I can do is blink at him. I don't know where to go from here, what he expects me to say to

that.

It doesn't seem to matter to him, he carries on anyway, “Your mother knew who I was. The only

thing she asked me was if she was the third. I told her yes, and she willingly came to me. Nobody had

ever willingly let me kill them. She baffled me at the time; it was the first and only time I thought
about not killing my mark.”

The mention of my mother and that horrible day brings back memories so fresh they could be

happening as we speak, a storm of events that will always haunt me.

The blame I placed on myself for not saving her, for being weak and not strong enough to push

away my fear, stabs me just as strong now as it did then.

This has me thinking of my father, who's death is as much on Dragoni's hands as it is mine.
How many people have died for my need for revenge?
I deserve to die tonight. It seems like a proper punishment. I shouldn't be allowed to carry on

when so many others can't because of me.

Dragoni is watching me, observing me while I come to terms with what's about to take place,

reliving the deaths of my parents and so many others.

“When I saw you as a little boy watching us, I understood her sacrifice,” he feels the need to

pursue, knowing I'm too absorbed in the past to protest. “She was keeping you safe the way a mother
should. Protecting you from bad men the way my mother never did for me; the reason I despised her
for never doing, never understanding how she could let her husband do the things he did.

“Your mother was my favorite kill because of that. I took away your innocence and unconditional

love. I had destroyed what she wanted to protect. The power and thrill that bestowed upon me has
remained. That's why I loved our fights more than the rest, knowing I took from you what I never had
for myself–”

“You've taken everything from me,” I inject.
“No, Mister Lincoln. You let me take it.”
Fuck. It's true, I did.
Which is why I hate myself as equally as I do this man, some moments even more so.
I point a finger back and forth between us, “I would do this all over again, every second of it, if it

meant she was brought into my life. So I guess that's my third win over you. We're even.”

He recoils back, not liking my choice of words.
“I've found something that matters more to me than your death,” I self-righteously declare. “I've

had the unconditional love of three people. How many have you had?”

“No one,” he states, with almost a sadness to it.
Kolme Dragoni holds the dagger out, appearing as though he's ready to throw it straight at me.
I don't budge, accepting my fate, thankful that for a brief moment in my life I had the opportunity

to discover what life was all about: the ability to love; the courage and strength it takes to love a
person, no matter how different they are. Forgiving that they have flaws and appreciating their
imperfections. Knowing those are the things that define them, forming them into something that cannot
be defined and shelved into a category. Understanding that's what makes them so remarkable.

Lily taught me that. She taught me many things, but that is what I want to remember the most.
I watch the man who has overtaken my youth and forsaken me a childhood, the man I thought had

turned my heart as black as his, take his family dagger and slit his own throat, but not before saying,
“You haven't won, but I haven't lost either.”

I try wrapping my mind around what just happened. That the man I had wanted vengeance on and

to destroy for almost my entire existence had willingly taken his life in front of me.

His last parting words will remain with me forever, knowing we are the only two who will ever

understand their meaning and how true they are.

I stay there, staring at the dead body of Kolme Dragoni, his blood pouring out of him and flowing

across the floor, creating a river that seems desperate to find me.

When his blood finally reaches me, I place two fingers into the murky, reddish-brown fluid,

rubbing the blood between my fingers and thumb, never taking my eyes from the man who still has his
one eye locked with mine, but now it's vacant in a way only death can cause.

I should feel something right now, but I don't. I don't feel anything. All I want is to sleep.
On shaky legs that feel like they will buckle underneath me as I stand, I punch in the code to open

the door, leaning my weighted body on the frame.

“Stay back,” I hear a foggy, familiar voice call out to someone. “Stay back,” it warns again. “I'll

let you see him once I know he's okay.”

A blurry Vault stands in the doorway. He's talking to me as I brush past, slouched over, my spine

curling forward, my head hanging, my feet dragging on the floor. I probably look like the walking
dead. That's actually pretty close to how I feel right now.

Two shots ring out in the distance and somehow I know Vault has shot Dragoni twice in the head,

just to be sure he's dead, and because it must feel good to do that to the man who murdered his wife.

Why didn't I care to do the same?
I make my way along the panic room wall to the other door at the end.
She's behind me, I can sense her. I can always sense her; my body has a natural pull towards her.
The room I enter is a bedroom. I fall face down onto the bed.
She removes my shoes and then joins me, laying down next to me. My head's turned away from

her, but I can tell she's hesitant to touch me even though I know she wants to.

She's the only one I would allow to touch me right now.
I turn my face so I can feel her sweet breath on me, my eyelids still shut from being too heavy to

open.

I want to ask her not to leave me, to stay with me, but I can't find words right now. I'm too damn

tired. I have twenty years of sleep to catch up on.

Her perfect plump lips kiss my forehead, causing something wet to drop out of the corner of my

eye and travel down my cheek.

She kisses that away and I can feel the moisture on her face, knowing she's been crying.
I hate it when she cries. I only ever want her to smile.
More wet drops fall down and she kisses every single one of them.
Somewhere through all of this I drift off, letting my body and mind finally get some rest, some

peace.

Lily

Chapter 25

Wednesday, March 26
6:19am

Jay has remained on his stomach, twisted in my direction, legs a few feet apart, arms resting to

the sides of his face for the past twelve hours. Occasionally a limb jerks or a finger twitches, but
other than that he remains still. I've never seen a person in such a deep sleep. It frightens me.

His face has become more youthful and his features remind me of a lost little boy in need of

sunshine, warmth, and reassurance that life can be just as beautiful as it is ugly.

What causes my heart to shatter are the tears that escape the corners of his eyes. Every one that

falls I kiss away before it hits his chin, sometimes kissing it away before it has the chance to fully
form.

He's completely breaking my heart.
No one knows what happened inside that room between Jay and the man I never want to mention

again. It looks like he killed himself, but I know it wasn't as simple as that. Words had to have been
exchanged.

Jay's old scar was reopened and his spine has bruising. Vault had a doctor come in and stitch it

back up, having him check that no real damage was made. Jay didn't so much as flinch and kept right
on sleeping.

The doctor also took a look at my neck. It only needed a few stitches and an ugly patch of gauze.
Vault had tried to get me to leave and let Jay rest, but I refused.
I'm not leaving his side until he wakes up, and even then they'll have to force me. He's my other

half; being next to him is the only place I'll ever need to be. I want him to know how loved he is, that
he's not in this alone, and that he'll never be alone again.

I slowly drift back into my wakeful sleep, not wanting to miss a fallen tear, sometimes moving

more of myself over him or stroking his back and hair, needing to have constant contact.

5:02pm

Jay still hasn't moved. I've become worried; it doesn't seem like someone should be able to sleep

this long. He hasn't had anything to eat or drink, not even waking to use the bathroom. His breathing is
shallow and I constantly place my hand on his back to feel the rise and fall, confirming to myself that
he's alive.

I asked Vault if he could be in a coma because it doesn't seem natural, but he assured me that he's

only recuperating from two decades of exhaustion.

The man that I love is hurting and all I can do is lay with him.
I've never felt more helpless.

Chapter 26

Friday, March 28
7:53pm

Jay finally woke up early yesterday morning, but he might as well still be sleeping. He's laid on

his back the whole time, vacantly staring at the ceiling or going back to sleep, wrapping his entire
body around me, refusing to let me go when he does.

He hasn't spoken a single word or acknowledged that he hears when I speak, only eating because

I force him to, only using the bathroom because I remind him that he needs to. I've brushed his teeth
and given him a warm sponge bath. I even went as far as putting his hand under my shirt to cup my
bare breast, but that didn't get a response. I even tried stroking him, but that didn't spur anything either.

I was successful in getting him to go back to his place, the journey taking much longer than it

should have because he rested most of his weight against me, taking slow, tedious steps.

I pull back to take his face in my hands, searching his eyes, hoping to find answers. He stares

back at me, but the vacancy I see sends chills down my spine.

What do I do? How do I help him?
Fat, long tears plop down my face, one at a time. He doesn't even make a move to stop them.
He hates my tears. I don't think this man even sees them.
I kiss him.
It's the only thing I can think of.
I kiss him from deep down in my soul and pour it all out into him, sending him all the love I have

inside me. My hands caress and roam, showing comfort and everlasting love.

His mouth goes through the motions but he's not there with me, responding how he normally does.
Jay's lost right now and I wish I knew how to get him back. For now I can only take care of him

and wait for him to come back to me.

Chapter 27

Sunday, March 30
9:18am

Something nuzzles under my ear and I naturally mold back into it.
“Morning, baby,” a gravelly voice rasps in my ear, hand trailing under my shirt, up my stomach.
I go stiff.
I haven't heard his voice in five days. I slowly turn around, and the minute I make contact with his

beautiful blue irises that are glowing with life and vitality, I wrap my arms tightly around his neck and
weep into it.

“You're back,” I sniffle into his skin.
His lips kiss along the side of my face, making sure not a part of it goes untouched, “I needed to

check out for a while.”

“I know, baby,” I sob into his neck, “ I know.”
He tucks me into his arms and squeezes me closer to him.
“Are you going to be all right now?”
He squeezes me even harder, “I think I am.”
“Can you tell me what happened?”
“One day, but not now.” He kisses my hair, “I will though, when I'm ready to.”
“It's over, Jay. You're free,” I sputter into his neck, my silent tears racking my body.
I get no response, but feel his shuddering that mirrors my own, convulsing so hard from his

violent tears that I wish he would cry out loud to further release his agony.

I hold him closer, my chest getting soaked in tears, his downpour showing no signs of stopping.

10:49am

Jay's face has been planted in the curve of my neck for the past ten minutes, making noises only a

person who has been heavily crying can make while they try to calm down, his hands clutching me,
afraid I will leave him. The more I reassure him I'm not going anywhere, the more intently he holds
tight, curling more of me under him.

I kiss each scar on his face, at a complete loss for how to help this broken man.
“You can't ever leave me,” his voice pleads in an almost shattered way.
I want to comfort him. I want to soothe away his worry and torment and what ever demons are

still cast deep inside, but I haven't a clue how or what to say to save him. I can only hold him tighter
to me. He has me scared right now; this isn't Jay. This isn't the strong, brave, overpowering man I
know.

I whisper the only words that come to mind into his ear, “Take me, Jay. Bind me to you. Make me

yours.”

He lets out a low, deep growl from the back of his throat. His lips urgently kiss along my

shoulder and neck, careful to avoid my bandage, biting and sucking, more forceful than he ever has,
almost to the point of painful.

His fingers loop around the waist of my pants and sweep them off along with his, at such a speed

that I barely feel them leave and drop to the floor. My shirt goes just as fast.

His body presses down on me, dominating it, giving it no choice but to trust in him, and I do. This

is what he needs, and if ever there was a person who wouldn't hurt me, it's Jay.

He pushes himself inside me, working himself in and out like a man possessed. His teeth bite into

the flesh of my neck, grunting and panting as he continues his motions.

I'll admit, I'm not sure how to handle him right now. This isn't making love, it isn't fucking, I'm

not sure what this is. It's as though he's claiming me, that nobody can have me, nobody can take me
from him. His movements are not fast or slow, but they are deep, all of his weight on me.

As I let him take from me what he needs, I find myself starting to respond to every hard thrust and

growl.

“Harder,” I gasp, getting caught up in the intensity of the moment, wanting him to declare me his.
“Mmm,” he growls into my hair, shoving his hands under my back to further engulf himself

around me and keep me in place as his movements become savage and uncontrollable.

I explode like I never have before, every single nerve-ending pricking my skin, making me hyper

sensitive to his skin as it runs along mine.

“Oh god, Lily!” Jay cries out before giving one last shove, burying himself as deep as he can,

letting it stay there as his body convulses around me and he releases himself, his hips trying to grind
further inside.

He stays on top of me while we recover, my intake of breath harder from his heavy body on top

of mine. The sweat from our bodies mingles together, the musky sent of us permeating the air, making
it heavier and thicker to breathe in.

I rub the back of his neck, which is drenched from his exertion, droplets running down his back. I

oddly want to lick them all. I never would have known this barbaric side of me if it wasn't for Jay – I
don't think I would have this side with anyone else.

“Shower with me,” he requires in the voice I'd once hated, but know now is a defense mechanism

to mask his emotions.

His arms are still caged around me and they pull me up, throwing me over his shoulder. I giggle

over his caveman antics and pinch his sexy tootsie.

I can sense him grinning even if I can't see it. I kiss everywhere my lips can reach, dragging my

tongue along his spine, causing him to pause his movement. A ripple of pleasure passes through him
and goosebumps cover his skin.

He keeps me over his shoulder as he turns the water on and adjusts the temperature, not letting

me down until it's to his satisfaction. I recognize from the sound of the water flowing that he's
drawing us a bath; a new experience for us to share together. I secretly hope that we never run out of
new experiences, and that despite the places he has been we'll still have a whole universe to explore
together.

The thought has me smiling like a fool; a fool desperately in love with a man I never would have

envisioned for myself, but that's what I love about life: it sometimes has it's own agenda, and I thank
God for that.

Jay gently places me into the warm bath, as though I'm made of the finest crystal; too expensive

and beautiful to handle more roughly, and he wants me to last a lifetime and beyond.

He slowly lets himself in behind me, trying to be graceful and not disturb the water and his

delicate crystal inside. I lean back into him, inhaling deeply, enjoying the peaceful quiet only we can
give each other. We could probably go days without talking and still feel verbally satisfied,

communicating in ways only two souls destined to be together can.

He then proceeds to cleanse me, taking great care and detail in getting every part of me cleaned,

his hand and washcloth sweeping across me with pure love and tenderness.

This is the side of Jay that always leaves me overwhelmed with emotions; the way he worships

me and pays reverence to my body. I'm not the most beautiful woman or the sexiest, but to him I am.
To him I'm above it all, something to be valued and treasured in the highest regard, respected above
anyone else. I don't know what I did to earn this kind of love, but I hope I never lose it.

Wanting him to feel everything he just showed me, I reach for his hand and grab the cloth.
“My turn,” I say in a voice foreign to me; it's sultry, deep, emotional, and raw.
He leans back into the tub, placing his arms on the sides and resting his head against the tile

behind him, his eyes never leaving my body as they shine with the love he has for me. It leaves me
temporarily spellbound, trying to decipher every emotion that is swirling in the aqua and gold of his
irises. For someone that tries so hard to hide them, it amazes me how many emotions he can express
in the blink of an eye – if you're lucky enough to be paying attention.

My hands have been softly caressing and nurturing, cleaning him the same as he did me, but my

eyes have stayed with his, not wanting to miss a single emotion that passes through them. When his
brows start to pull together, as though this moment is getting too overwhelming, I plant my lips to his,
letting my mouth, tongue, and hands take over and express everything that is transpiring inside me.

He immediately responds, an arm looping around me to pull me in, water sloshing all around us.
My arms snake around his neck, our lips desperately moving together. He glides me on top of him

and we begin to make love, this time almost painfully slow, taking our time, letting our skin get
wrinkled and pruny, knowing we have all the time in the world.

Chapter 28

Monday, March 31
7:13am

I wake to Jay's teeth playfully nibbling at my neck, “Time to wake up, baby. I need to talk to

you.”

I can't tell by his tone if this is the kind of talk I want to have.
I flip to my back, my face meeting a smiling Jay.
“You're so beautiful in the morning.”
This has me smiling, which in turn has Jay kissing me, and us getting tangled together.
Jay pulls back, “Wait, I can't get distracted.” His voice and face seem so young. “I need to go

talk to Vault and work some things out.”

“Anything I should be worried about?”
He grins, pecking my lips after every couple of words, “No. It's something I've fantasized about

since the first day you kissed me, and I think it's time I made it a reality.”

“I'm intrigued?”
He pecks my lips for the hundredth time, “You should be.”
“You seem better today, more you.” With a little extra something that's not quite him.
Jay lights up, “That's because I am. I stayed up all night thinking about our future and what I was

going to do with myself once we got home.” His lips smash down on mine and he holds them there
like he's trying to fuse them together. When he pulls back he looks like he can't contain his excitement,
“I wish I knew how to describe how incredible it feels to be thinking about that kind of stuff. I've
never had this before; I've never dreamed and hoped about what my future may hold. I'm only twenty-
five, Lily! I have so much time ahead of me, so much life to be lived!” His giddiness is pouring out of
him and I can't help but soak it up like a sponge. “I mean, wow baby, the future is ours. How fucking
cool is that?”

A tear escapes from the corner of my eye and his excitement slips while he frowns and wipes it

away, “Don't cry. Why are you crying?”

“It's a happy tear, Jay. I'm so happy right now. For you, for us, for the life that's going to be ours.

The fact that you called where I live home.”

“I know how much everyone means to you, so I figured you'd want to stay there. I go where you

go. Besides,” his overexcited energy is back, “it just so happens to be the perfect place for me to
live.”

“Why is that?”
He hops out of bed, darting around like a bouncy ball, trying to get himself dressed, “You'll find

out.”

“Jay...” I threaten, wanting no more secrets.
He holds his hand up, “Wait. I plan on telling you. Today, I promise. First let me go talk to Vault

and make a few calls. I don't want to tell you until I know it's happening.”

He playfully jumps on me, “I'll be quick.”
“Jay quick or everybody else quick?”
The confusion on his face tells me it will be in Jay time, not having a clue time works differently

for everyone else.

He sheepishly peers down at me, a flirtatious smile on the side of his mouth, “Can I borrow three

million dollars?”

My mouth drops open and the grin he gives me reminds me of my brothers.
“You want to take it back?” Not that I mind; I wasn't comfortable with him giving it to me

anyway.

He cheerfully nods his head, “Maybe, but I might not need it. I saved a bit for myself.” Another

quick kiss and he's flying out the door.

That was interesting. Now that he's expressing his emotions, they are all over the place; it's hard

to keep up.

11:36am

Jay slams the door shut behind him, a huge smile plastered over his face, removing his shirt

while he yells out to me, “Babe, I need you. Right now!”

I say good-bye to my mom on the phone, having just let her know I'll be returning home today.
I watch Jay kick off his shoes while he's unzipping his pants.
He barrels into me, lifting me off my feet, face diving into my neck to devour it. The minute I fall

onto the bed, he pulls back enough to raise my nightshirt over my head.

“It's happening,” his lips are traveling all over me. “We finally get to go home and start our lives

together.”

He's a completely different kind of possessed than he was yesterday. This time he's a man about

to explode with happiness. I haven't seen this playful side of him since we were back at his place
across the street from mine, except it's amplified like he's had one too many shots of espresso.

“Slow down, Jay,” I try getting him to come back up to me because his mouth's all over my body,

unable to decide where to go. “You're overwhelming me right now.”

He comes up on all fours and hovers over me, “What do you mean?”
“Look at you now, then look at you yesterday and the days before that. You're elevated to the

extreme, bouncing all over the place.”

His lips begin sucking all along my collarbone, “I know, but I've never experienced what it's like

to have something to look forward to. It's making my whole body come alive. I thought adrenaline
highs were the best, but I was wrong. Being crazy in love and knowing I get to stay that way, never
having to say goodbye and getting to start a life with you...Christ, Lily,” he buries his face in my
throat. “It's insane how good it feels.”

“Tell me what happened with Vault,” I encourage, having been anxious all morning to find out.
His smile gets bigger. It's a smile so big I didn't think Jay would have been capable of it. It shines

in his eyes and glows from his skin, “I'm buying the old racetrack! It's not official yet, but the owner
agreed. The fucker made me offer way too much for the place, but it's worth it; this is what I want.”

“What are you going to do with a racetrack?”
“God, I love your mouth,” his lips come crashing down on mine.
“Jay, focus,” I mumble along his lips.
“Right,” he shakes his head as if to clear it. “I want to start a drifting school. A place people can

safely learn and have amateur races for the pure fun of it.”

I ponder for a minute, taking in what he said before exclaiming, “I think that is an excellent idea!”

“Yeah ya do!” Jay lifts his hand and I high five it, laughing.
“Who are you and what have you done with Jay?” This guy's too playful and lighthearted.
His only answer is to attack my mouth with his.
I turn my head, not finished with our conversation, “Not to be mean, but you're not really a

people person. How are you going to handle that side of things?”

“Malik, he's going to help run it. I called him this morning and he couldn't say yes fast enough.

You haven't really gotten to know him, but he's one of those guys that seems to be everybody's friend.”

I believe it. I remember how at ease and comfortable he made me feel when we first met, and

how he has the kind of smile that instantly makes you like a person.

“I want in,” I blurt out before having really put any thought into it.
Jay tilts his head, “Really?”
The more I think about this, the more excited I'm getting. It has potential to be a lot of fun, “Yes, I

want to be a partner. I want to help run it.”

He rolls off me and onto his back to stare at the ceiling, “Like a family business?”
I turn to my side, wanting to see his eyes and what he truly thinks about the idea, “I think I would

be really good at marketing and the overall business aspect of it.”

“Lily?” He whispers and my stomach drops, expecting him to reject my proposal.
“Yes?”
In the same hushed tone he replies, “I think you'd be good at it too.”
“Why are you acting hesitant then?”
He turns his head to me, “I'm not, I'm just a little shocked at how perfectly things are fitting into

place.” He rolls back on top of me, “I can't imagine a better person to run a business with than you.”

I smirk, “Good, because I wasn't going to give you my money unless you agreed.”
Jay laughs, “Now that that's settled, I need to exert some of this energy I have bottled inside me

before we head home.”

Home. I like the sound of that.
I smile into his shoulder, my excited energy about to rival his.

Chapter 29

1:24pm

“I wish you guys would stay here and work for the bank,” Arianna sniffles into my hair as she

hugs me harder.

A part of me wishes that too. I love the people I've met and the mystery that surrounds them.
I try pulling out of the hug but Arianna won't let me.
“You're the first girlfriend I've ever had and I feel like I'm losing you.”
“You're not,” I reassure her. “We can talk all the time on the phone and visit–” Jay coughs to let

me know that's not a good idea. “–or you can visit me,” I slyly look over to Jay to make sure this
suggestion is acceptable. He reluctantly approves.

She sadly lets me go and turns to Jay, “I hope we can be friends too. We have a past, but I'd

rather start fresh. Do you think that's possible?”

“It's more than possible,” Jay affirms.
Arianna beams at us both, giving me another hug before exiting Vault's office.
I twist Jay's ring on my middle finger, “I can't believe this is all over. You're really not worried

about others looking for you?”

Jay takes hold of my hand, giving it a squeeze, “Vault got the word out that The Marker's dead.

We killed one another inside his office.”

I look over to Ben, “Will people believe that?”
“That's why Vault was the one to get the word out. Whether they believe it or not, if Benedict

Cole makes a statement he wants everyone to know, you better listen,” Jay answers.

Ben gives a nod of agreement.
“So is this really it? You're finally free to live your life?”
Jay swipes his hand across his head, staring off, “I think it finally is.” He looks to me, his eyes

big and wide, almost not believing it himself, the moment too surreal, “Shit, Lily, I'm still
overwhelmed with how awesome it feels. That heaviness I have always felt isn't so strong anymore.”

Before I can join in his newfound happiness I have more questions to ask, “Really?”
He pulls me into him, “Yeah baby, it really is. And nobody will go against Vault.”
“You're really not worried?” I can't seem to wrap my head around his freedom, needing all the

reassurance I can get.

“I didn't say that. I'll always worry, but it's different now; it's not so consuming. I can tolerate the

amount of worry I will have for you – for us – but as the years go by, they will forget about Jay
Lincoln. They will forget about Link.”

I look to Ben for confirmation, not that I don't believe what Jay says to be true, but it will help

ease my mind to get a second opinion.

Ben nods his head, understanding what I'm asking without me having to say it, “I couldn't agree

more with Noah. Nobody will go looking for him, and if they do,” he hands me a business card, “You
call me and it won't be a problem anymore.”

My eyebrows lift, “Noah?”
“Didn't you hear?” Ben asks, a mischievous smirk indenting his left dimple, “Jay Lincoln is

dead.”

I'm processing this, coming to terms with the fact that Jay can finally be the man he was born to

be. He can finally be Noah Baxter.

Ben hands a manila folder to Jay/Noah (I'm not sure what I'm supposed to call him), “This is all

of Noah's stuff. Your father had wanted it kept safe here. It's just a birth certificate, social security
card, boring things like that.”

Jay swallows as he stares down at the envelope.
“You ready for my plane?”
“I think I am. More than ready. Thanks, Vault,” Jay gives him a smile, the first I think he's ever

given him.

“I'm not Vault to you anymore. Noah would only know me as Benedict Cole,” he looks to me and

winks, “or Ben if I like you.”

I smile at this, a little sad that it could be the last time I ever see him; I've come to care about

him. I decide to share this with him, not wanting any regrets, “I don't want this to be the last time I see
or talk to you.”

“It won't be. After all,” Ben taps the card still in my hand, ”my bank is in charge of your assets.”
I look down to find he had handed me his personal business card, with the direct line to his

office. This has me wanting to cry.

“Call it any time, Lily,” his tone of voice lets me know that it doesn't have to be for business

purposes, and all I can think to do is hug him – and by hug, I mean squeeze the shit out of him.

Ben awkwardly pats my back, not being very comfortable with affection. I let go before I start

crying and make us all uncomfortable.

“I hope you know what you're getting yourself into by giving that to her,” Jay warns playfully.

“You can expect her to call that number just because.”

Ben gives me a genuine smile, “I'm expecting you to. I want to hear what's so great about the

other side.”

Okay, it's time to leave before the tears come falling down. I'm glad that Jay knows me so well

and begins leading us to the door.

“Hey, Ben,” Jay stops to turn around. “I'm sorry about Susanna. I mean really, truly, incredibly,

sorry.”

They both swallow at the same time, both their eyes appearing more moist than they should.
“I know,” is all Ben says in return, but there is a silent conversation that transpires between them

for a few seconds after. I can't begin to translate what I can't read, but whatever it is has Jay – I mean
Noah's – shoulders dropping a few inches, accepting that Ben means it.

Noah nods, not expecting forgiveness, just thankful that Ben knows the remorse and guilt he will

always suffer from Ben's wife being murdered.

“Make it worth it,” Ben adds as we start to leave through the office doors.
Noah turns his head, “I plan to.”
We leave Cole Private Bank and Trust, hand in hand, ready to figure out a life together.
Finally.

Chapter 30

Friday, April 4
6:02pm

I look at the clock on the stove to see it's two minutes past the time I told Noah to arrive. I'm

surprised he's not here yet; he was so nervous about making a good impression.

The story I had told my family was that Noah got hurt at his new security job working for Cole

Private Bank and Trust. The doctors didn't think he would make it and that's why I had to fly down
there, needing to say goodbye and to make sure he knew that I loved him. I then explained to them that
when Noah had left the first time, it's because I couldn't openly share how I was feeling, so he had
accepted the great job opportunity thinking I didn't feel the same. Now that Noah knows (and
survived), he has moved back to give us another chance. I have no clue if my family and friends
believe all that, but nobody is saying they don't.

I take a peek out of the kitchen window to find him sitting in the car he bought the day after we

returned (I thought he'd get a truck but he told me he doesn't have a need for one anymore, he's not
going any where), staring out the front.

What the hell is he doing?
I text him but he doesn't respond, doesn't even move to acknowledge he heard it. (Yup, he also

got a cell phone, wanting me to be able to always get a hold of him. He said I wasn't allowed to give
him shit for it, but I most definitely will.)

I leave my house and head to him. His body is rigid, expressionless, and his legs are lightly

bouncing. I rap on the driver side window. It takes me three times before he snaps out of his thoughts
and realizes I'm there.

He rolls down the window, “I can't do this, Lily.”
“It's just dinner, Jay,” I realize my mistake after I say it, but I don't correct myself.
“No, it's not. It's your family sizing me up to see if I'm good enough for you.”
I open the door and hold out my hand, “Give them a chance.”
Noah swipes his head before accepting my hand and following me inside. His hand has a death

grip over mine as we enter. You wouldn't know anything was wrong looking at him; if anything he's
giving off a “don't fuck with me” vibe.

My mom is the first to greet Noah, throwing her arms around him in a big hug, “It's so nice to

finally meet you. Lily goes on and on about how wonderful you are.” She tries tightening her squeeze
but can't from how huge he is. She laughs, “You are a big guy.”

She then takes his hand to lead him to the dining room, “I'll show you where you'll sit. Lily made

a special dinner for you.”

Noah looks back, lifting his brows and motioning with his head for me to follow.
“I'll join you in a second, I just have to finish in the kitchen.” I hold in a giggle as the color

washes away from Noah's skin. I have no sympathy for him. If I can survive his world, he can survive
mine.

I continue chopping the vegetables for the salad, listening to my mom introduce Noah to my dad,

brothers, and Jill. I kind of wish I was in there to see how uncomfortable he must be. I bet it's
hilarious. My dad and Jill are the friendliest couple. I don't think there's a person they can't make a

life long buddy out of.

“Your boyfriend's kind of scary. You know that, right?” Cody's voice makes me jump, having not

heard him enter the kitchen.

“He looks scary, but give him a chance. He's a really good man.”
He comes over to help me finish chopping, “I know. I have a good feeling about him.”
I pause, “You do?”
“Yeah. I didn't with the other douchebag, but I never said anything. I'm sorry, Lily,” his apology

comes out like he blames himself for what happened.

I gently nudge him, “Hey, it's over and done. We all learned from it, okay?”
He hangs his head down in shame and mumbles, “I'm your brother. I should have protected you.”
I place my hand on his shoulder, “You're an amazing brother. This was something I had to learn

on my own.”

Cody wipes his eyes with his shirt and sniffles. “Onion,” he explains.
Onions aren't a part of dinner.
I pull him in for a hug, “I love you, Cody.”
He pushes me away and makes a disgusted face, “Please don't get all mushy on me.”
“Keep making the salad and I won't.”
“Remember to come to me if this guy is ever a jerk. I'll put him in his place.”
I try to keep a straight face, because Cody is completely serious and I love the fact that he would

attempt to fight Noah for me.

“Some girl's going to be lucky to have you one day.”
Cody sets down the knife, “That's it, I'm done. I warned you: No mushy.”
I laugh as he goes back to join everyone else.
As I'm pulling out the main dish from the oven the doorbell rings. Seth hollers that he'll get it. I

freeze when I recognize my two best friends' voices.

Great, they better not be here to interrogate Noah.
I wipe my hands on my apron and pull them into the kitchen.
“I know why you two are...” I trail off when I notice their conjoined hands.
Noami sees my astonishment, “I took your advice. We're taking things slow.”
“We're having our first date on Friday,” Stevie informs me, glowing.
“I expect a full report from both of you. I want all the juicy details.” I point a finger at Noami,

“Be romantic. Stevie deserves romance.”

Naomi smirks, “I think I can manage that.”
Stevie tugs Naomi's hand, “Come on. Let's go meet...Noah, right?”
I nod that she's correct, “Did my mom invite you two?”
Stevie shakes her head, “We invited ourselves. We had to meet this guy.”
Perfect.
“Be nice. Please? For me?”
“I'll keep her in line, don't worry,” Stevie reassures me.
Now my stomach is in knots about how everyone will treat Noah, and nervous about him liking

the special dinner I've cooked. I'm worried I made the wrong choice, that I stepped over a line I'm not
allowed to cross.

I guess it's too late now.
I bring out the side dishes, happy to see that my dad and Seth are carrying most of the

conversation. Noah's body is stiff, but at least he's softened his expression a bit. His eyes light up

when he sees me and I take a moment to get lost in him, a goofy grin on my face, wanting to pinch
myself that we are finally together like this. He returns my same look. Everything and everyone
around us becomes forgotten. I'm not sure how long we stare at each other, but it's long enough for my
dad to clear his throat.

That's when I become aware that everyone around the table is staring at us.
Embarrassed, I swiftly turn around to get the main dish.
My steps back to the dining room are slow. I really wish I had chosen something else to make. At

the time it seemed like a good idea, but now I regret it.

I set the dish on top of a hot pad, nervously glancing at Noah.
His eyes are wide, staring down at it, “Is that macaroni and cheese?”
I swallow into my now very dry throat and nod, too nervous to speak.
“Lily's been working on it all day,” my mom proudly informs him. “She must have searched a

hundred sites trying to find what people believed to be the best recipe.”

Noah doesn't respond, his expression giving nothing away as he continues to stare at the dish.
Shit. This was a bad idea.
Everyone seems to notice the sudden tension, making the moment even more uncomfortable.
“We don't have to eat it. We can order pizza or something,” I quickly blurt out, hating the tears

that threaten to come out.

Noah finally looks up, his gruff voice returning, “No, it's perfect.” He gets up and closes the gap

between us, cupping the back of my neck and bringing his lips to mine, giving me a tender, sweet kiss.
“I love you, Lily,” he breathes into my mouth. “I can't believe you would do this for me.”

I wipe away a tear that betrayed me, “It's not overstepping my place?”
“No. It's the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me.”
More tears drop down and he wipes them away with his thumb, “Let's eat before it's cold.”

Taking my hand, he leads us to the two empty chairs.

Once again, everyone is staring at us.
Jill, Stevie, and my mom have a hand over their hearts, looking like they are watching a romance

movie.

Not wanting things to get awkward for Noah, I encourage everyone to dig in.
“Dang Lily, this is really good!” Seth declares, shoveling more into his mouth.
“Mmm,” Noah bobs his head in agreement, eating a huge forkful, “Lets have this at least once a

month.”

I take a bite.
Wow, it is really good. “We might have to do it two or three times.”
My dad sets down his fork and wipes his mouth with a napkin, “So Noah, this thing between you

and my daughter is pretty serious?”

Everyone stops mid-bite; my dad's not really the interrogator type. In the past, if I liked a guy it

was good enough for him, trusting that I knew my boundaries, but you wouldn't know it with the way
he's glaring at Noah.

My dad doesn't wait for a response, “She was serious about the last guy too.”
Noah stiffens next to me. I place a hand over his thigh and squeeze.
“Dad, this is different,” I begin to explain, but he talks over me.
“I suppose I don't need to explain about him?”
Noah's jaw locks, “She told me.” He's still the only one that knows the whole story. Everyone

else still thinks Will only hit me that one time and I left him. I don't know why I can't find the words to

share, but at least I can talk to Noah about it.

“I understand your concern,” Noah begins, taking in a deep breath. “I have a good idea of what I

must look like to all of you, but you need to know that I love your daughter. I'm not asking for you to
trust me, after what she went through. I can only hope that time will let me prove myself to you, and
you will come to see how deeply I care about her; that her love means everything to me.”

I look to my mom, who seems just as close to crying as I am.
“Okay,” is my dad's response.
“Okay,” Noah repeats, and they both go back to eating. What does that mean? Is everything cool

now?

“So what's up with the scars?” Seth asks, mouth full of food.
I kick him under the table but he ignores me, waiting for an answer. I guess it runs in the family.
Noah swallows his food, “Three headed dragon attacked me with his claws, almost killed me.”
Seth rolls his eyes, “Fine, if you don't want to tell me just say so.”
“It's true,” I pipe in. “I saw it with my own eyes.” I point to the three small scars on my neck that

are still healing, “Tried to get me too.”

The whole table is looking at us like we're nuts.
“How did you escape then?” Cody challenges.
“There's this old dagger,” Noah divulges. “It's been passed down through generations and was

the only thing that held the power to slay this particular dragon.”

Cody rolls his eyes, “Let me guess, you had to stab it straight through the heart?”
“Nope,” Noah takes a finger and slices it across his throat to show how it was done.
“Sweet!” Seth bobs his head forward with enthusiasm, “Cool story, probably more interesting

than the truth.”

“It is the truth,” Noah deadpans.
This is exactly how folktales must come to be.
Cody doesn't seem as impressed, “Did your other scars come from this supposed dragon?”
Noah contemplates, “In a way, yes, they did. They came from my adventures of hunting for this

dragon throughout his kingdom.”

Jill laughs,”I can tell you're going to fit right in, with an imagination like that.”
The conversations take off from there. It's mostly Noah asking questions, generally interested in

learning about everyone. They ask us a lot of questions about the business we are buying and what
exactly drifting is. My dad and Naomi still don't seem convinced that we are fully serious about this; I
think they're both expecting it to fail. Maybe it will, but we are at a time in our life to take chances.

By the end of dinner Noah is visibly more relaxed, an arm slung over the back of my chair,

playing with my hair. I've noticed he likes to touch me a lot. I'm hoping it's because I bring him
comfort.

“Who's ready for dessert?” My mom asks, clearing the table after we've all stuffed ourselves.

“Lily made her specialty.”

Seth can't fetch it from the kitchen fast enough.
Noah tilts he heads down to whisper in my ear, “Save a slice for later when you come over to my

hotel room.”

I hide my flushed face by taking a sip of water, ready to leave right now.
Noah smugly smirks, knowing exactly what images he'd brought forth.
My dad, Jill, and the boys leave shortly after we finish dessert. My brothers are already talking

about how they are going to start working out to get muscles like Noah, and are ecstatic when Noah

offers to show them what to do.

When my dad hugs me goodbye, I quietly request, “Give him a chance. He may not look the part

like Will did, but nobody is a better match for me than Noah.”

He kisses my forehead, “I know. It's just hard for a father to see his baby girl find the person he

knows she'll spend forever with.”

Geesh. I wipe my eyes. How many times can I almost cry tonight?
Jill hugs me next, “I think he's sexy, way to go.” I laugh, thankful for her lighthearted response. “I

also love the way he looks at you. There is no denying how much he loves you.”

Have I ever mentioned how much I love Jill?
“You like ribs?” Naomi asks as though this is a challenge, slapping Noah on the back as she and

Stevie make their way outside.

“Yeah,” he answers matter-of-factly.
“Sunday, join Lily for my family's barbecue,” and with that she heads towards Stevie's Jeep.
Both Stevie and I are stunned, our jaws about to hit the pavement.
“Nice, I love ribs,” Noah says so low and calm, having no clue this is a monumental moment. He

notices my still-shocked expression, “What?”

A smile slowly creeps up my face, “You're in.”
Stevie's smiling too, and we exchange a knowing eye twinkle.
“Still not following.”
Stevie responds while still smiling at me, “Nobody but family comes to those barbecues.”
“But I'm not family,” Noah states, confused.
“Family doesn't have to be blood,” Stevie points out.
Noah finally gets it and a smile tugs at the corners of his mouth.
“She's tough to crack, well done. Pretty much hates everyone,” Stevie directs her thumb at me.

“Lily being the exception; she's adored her from the start.”

“That's because Lily's special.”
Stevie throws her arms around an awkward looking Noah, “I think I'm really going to like you.”
“She's a hugger,” I inform him. “You better get used to it.”
Stevie pulls away from the hug I'm sure Noah wished was over ten seconds ago (it only lasted

about five).

She hugs me and goes to her car, yelling over her shoulder, “See you Sunday!”
Noah takes my hand and we go back inside, “So, what are these barbecues like?”
“Kickass food, drunk bikers, at least one verbal smackdown by a woman to her man after he tries

to get all macho-jerk on her, and a really awesome time.”

“And you do this every Sunday?”
“The first Sunday of every month since I was twelve.”
“I could live with that.”
We do the dishes together, laughing and talking about what ever comes to mind.
As I'm putting the leftovers in the fridge, Noah twirls a towel around in his hand, making it twist.
“You wouldn't dare,” I protest, backing away. He would, I can tell by the gleam in his eye and

his evil side-smirk.

He snaps it out in front of him, purposely missing me.
I still yelp and he laughs, enjoying the suspense and torture he's causing.
I go for the towel, grabbing it in my hands to try and tug it away, somehow having forgotten that

Noah's made of pure steel.

He laughs, tugging it towards him and bringing me with it, smacking me right into his chest. His

arms cage me in. His lips move to my neck. I stop wiggling to get free, anticipating where his lips
will travel. They brush along the side, sending a shiver down my spine. Then he surprises me with
one loud raspberry.

I stop mid-giggle when I can feel his warm breath against my ear, “Remember the last time I did

that?” Goosebumps trail down my body and all I can do is nod, my nails digging into his biceps,
trying to control my raging desire to strip him naked on the floor of my family's kitchen. “You tasted
so amazingly delicious.” His nose brushes along my jaw towards my chin. He has to help hold me up
from going weak in the knees.

How does he still manage to do this to me? It's insane.
His lips graze my skin, light as a feather. I whimper and feel his smile on my skin, enjoying

tormenting me. “I want to taste you like that again, Lily.”

Oh, god yes, please! Is what I shout in my head, but my outward response is barely a nod of

agreement.

He grazes my lips and the other side of my jaw to my ear, “Will you let me taste you like that

again?”

I lick my lips and let out a breathless, “Yes.”
“And then when I've licked you senseless...” I hold tighter to his biceps, thinking any minute now

my legs will give out, “...I want you to watch my face as I come inside your pussy.”

My eyes widen, growing ten times their size.
Noah silently starts laughing, his shoulders moving up and down before he goes into full blown

hysterics. He lets go of me to clutch his side from laughing so hard.

What the hell's so funny?
He's laughing so hard he has to bend over and rest a hand on his knee, the other still clutching his

side.

“Wow, babe,” he manges to get out between laughs, “I wanted to see what would happen if I

used that word. I didn't expect that look on your face.” He regains enough self-control to stand
straight, a smile cracking his face, still twitching with laughter.

“I'm glad I amuse you,” I huff, not thinking it's all that funny.
He tugs my arm into him and brings his mouth to rest just above my ear, ruffling the strands of my

hair as he speaks, “I can't wait to teach you the art of dirty talk. You're going to love it.”

My mom clears her throat and I'm nearly dropped to the ground as Noah quickly retreats back to

dish cleaning, trying to play it off as though he wasn't trying to get in my pants. It makes me feel like
we are in high school, trying to get away with things we aren't supposed to; but then again, this is all
new territory for him.

“I found Lily's old tapes. You interested in watching them tonight?” My mom asks, trying to hide

how excited she is.

I should have known my mom wouldn't have forgotten when Noah asked her about them at dinner.
Noah whips around, a huge smile on his face, “Fu–yes!”
I would protest if he didn't look so adorable, eager to watch. I can't tell if it's because he wants to

make fun of me or if he truly wants to see them. In this instance, I fear it's both.

“Please keep in mind I was in high school and nobody tried out for these things, so you pretty

much got what ever role you wanted.”

Noah pulls me to his side, leading us to the living room, “Are you trying to warn me that this is

going to suck?”

“Yes.”
“Perfect, I can hardly wait!”
I groan.
We take a seat on the couch, me in the middle. When my mom presses play and I make my first

appearance, Noah beams, wrapping an arm around my shoulder, “Aw, babe, look how young you
look! You were so cute!” He kisses the top of my head, eyes glued to the screen.

My mom nudges me and I look over at her. She points to Noah then places a hand over her heart,

loving his reaction to my play. He's leaning forward, resting his forearms on his thighs, taking it all in.
I become immersed in watching Noah and how captivated he is, the faint smiles he gives every time I
have a line, the twinkle that remains in his eyes. He looks proud and in love.

I know he feels he doesn't deserve me, but what woman wouldn't want to be loved like this?
I cuddle close to him, eventually falling asleep while Noah and my mom continue watching my

old plays and talking about how cute I was.

Chapter 31

Sunday, April 6
4:19pm

Noah stops the car right outside Noami's parents house, killing the engine and wiping his palms

on the top of his jeans.

“Why are you on edge?”
He looks straight ahead, “Bikers typically don't like me.”
“That's ridiculous.”
“It's the scars,” he scrubs them on his face, “and my size. They think I'm trouble. Put a few drinks

in 'em and usually one of them will try to start a fight.”

Hmm, I see his point. Noami's family has an overabundance of testosterone.
He lets out a long exhale, “Trying to control myself is getting exhausting.”
“So don't. Be yourself. If they don't like you, we leave.”
“I'm not taking you from your family.”
“You're my family.”
“That's cheesy.”
“It's true.”
Noah tries to hide it, but a smile wants to form.
I take my finger to the edge of his mouth and pull it up to form a flimsy smile, “You can smile at

my cheesiness, it's okay. Nobody's in the car but us.” I drop my finger. The side I held up stays in
place and the other joins it.

The rocking of his car and a loud pounding on my window startles us both.
Seth and Cody's faces are smashed to the window.
“Quit being all lovey-dovey and join the party,” Seth says with his tongue and mouth plastered to

the glass, causing the words to come out jumbled and hard to understand.

Cody nods his head in agreement.
They extract their faces, leaving behind smudged oil and saliva streaks.
Seth gives a tap to the glass, “You should really clean your car once in a while, Noah; you've got

shit covering your window.”

Noah chuckles, “I'm a little worried for mankind when he becomes an adult.”
I think we all are.
I open my door and join Noah on the sidewalk, our hands automatically finding each other.
Noah holds up my plate of brownies, “You forgot the food.”
“No, I didn't. What's the point of having a big, strong man if he can't carry the heavy loads?”
Noah grumbles something about being whipped.
We walk through the open gate at the side of the house and step into the backyard that's already

loud with music and people. We set the platter down with the other food before making our way to the
rest of the bunch.

Noah takes it all in, features hardening the more he looks around. He slides an arm around my

waist, tucking my side into him.

“You don't need to protect me here. I grew up around these guys,” I whisper under my breath.

“Get used to it. I'm never going to walk into a situation with this many beefed out, tattooed men in

leather, and not feel the need to let them know you're mine and nobody better touch you.”

I can live with that.
I have never felt awkward at one of these parties until now. Conversations have stopped and

eyeballs are following us as we walk further into the yard.

A few men stand, eyes narrowing on Noah.
Shit, he wasn't lying. Biker dudes really don't like him. I quickly scan for Naomi or her parents. I

spot her beer-bellied dad coming through the slider with raw meat on a platter.

“Jim Bob!” I call over to him, taking longer strides to reach him.
“Lilith!” He bellows, setting the platter next to the BBQ. He scoops me up into a big bear hug,

jiggling me in his arms. He drops me down but keeps an arm around my shoulder, smiling down at me
before lifting his eyes. They take in Noah and the smile vanishes from his face, “You the boy Naomi
said was coming?”

Noah extends his hand, “Yeah, Noah Baxter.”
Jim Bob ignores his hand, “You dating our Lilith?”
Noah takes back his hand and swipes his head. I know I'm the only one who noticed the brief hurt

that flashed across his pupils, “Yeah.”

Jim Bob looks him up and down. “Her first boyfriend turned out gay – not a fact that bothers me,”

he adds, turning to wink at his daughter, who is cuddled close to Stevie. They both smile back at him.
“She tell you about her last one?”

The muscles in Noah's jaw clench and his body tenses, hands fisting, “Yeah.” He hates being

compared to Will, and for good reason. I half expect to see storm clouds brewing over our heads
from the shift in his mood and demeanor, the protector in Noah coming out to defend me. Jim Bob is
stirring up shit he shouldn't be.

“This girl's like a daughter to me,” Jim Bob warns, tone emanating hostility. “I love her, but she

doesn't know how to pick a man.”

I push away, irritated that he's basing Noah on his looks and my previous boyfriends, “Jim Bob–”
Noah lifts a hand to silence me, “I get where he's coming from. I could bring up that if you love

her so much, how did that shit happen in the first place...” he explains, looking Jim Bob straight in the
eyes.

Jim Bob stiffens and steps forward.
Great, what the hell is Noah doing?
“Or I could judge you based on,” Noah uses his hand to make the motions of Jim Bob's peppered

goatee and ponytail. Jim Bob takes another step forward, as do the other men at the party who have
started to form a circle around us. “But that would be the same as you judging me for these,” he points
to his facial scars. “Or these,” he lifts up his shirt and a few gasps can be heard as the people around
us see all of his past wounds.

My brothers let out an “awesome!”
Noah grabs me and pulls me back into his side, “That being said, nobody knows more than I do

that she deserves better than me, but for some crazy reason she chose me anyway, and I'd be an idiot
to fuck that up. I'm not saying I won't ever be an ass, but let me be clear,” Jay Lincoln surfaces,
stepping forward, towering over Jim Bob, who almost cowers back. “These hands,” he lifts one up,
“will only give her pleasure, got it?”

Jim Bob crosses his arms, not backing down, “You the reason she wouldn't talk to my daughter

for almost a month?”

Noah scratches his scruff, “I think so.”
“You also the reason she's been so feisty lately?”
He shakes his head, “Nope.”
This answer doesn't sit well with Jim Bob and he steps closer, their chests almost hitting.
“That's all her,” Noah continues before Jim Bob can start. “She has a fire inside her, she just had

to ignite it.”

“The silent treatment she gave my daughter tore her apart,” Jim Bob informs Noah.
“It'd do the same to me.”
“Been trying to get my baby girl to bring down her walls and give her love for Stevie a chance,”

Jim Bobs takes a few steps back. “The only thing that got through to her was our sweet, loving Lilith
flipping out on her. So let me ask this again, you the reason Lilith has gained the confidence to speak
her mind?”

“I think I might be,” Noah reflectively responds.
Jim Bob gives a small nod of approval, turns to the grill, and hollers out, “Somebody get this boy

a beer and a shot of tequila.”

I pat Noah's back, relief loosening the knots that had formed, “Welcome to the family.”
He blows out a puff of air, “Shit, woman. Getting acceptance from the people who love you is

going to be the death of me.”

I start dragging him over to meet the rest of the bunch, “Quit being so dramatic.”
The next couple of hours consist of everyone scrutinizing Noah and handing him shots of tequila.

He doesn't talk much and deflects all questions back to the other person, avoiding having to really
share anything about himself. Nobody seems to notice, all commenting how laid back he is. It's hard
not to laugh. Nobody would have said that about Jay.

I catch his eyes roaming the yard in search of something. They land on me with a peaceful,

content smile forming on his face. He lifts his beer up to me and I wave before continuing my
conversation with Naomi and Stevie.

Noami notices and signals for him to join us.
He slightly stumbles on his way over, happily wrapping an arm around me.
“Noah, come meet my brother and his friends,” Naomi says, leading us over to a group of guys,

one of them being Nate.

This should be interesting. I just pray this isn't Naomi stirring up trouble.
“Be nice,” I warn Noah, not sure how his reaction will be to meeting them (really, a particular

someone).

He puts a palm to his chest, pretending to be offended, “When have I ever not been?”
He keeps me tucked to his side as we join the group.
Naomi introduces everyone to Noah, who she clearly states is my boyfriend. Stevie and I give

each other excited looks of triumph, knowing this is her way of declaring her acceptance and
approval. When she starts informing them about our soon-to-be business and how excited she is for
us, I know this is also her way of apologizing for interfering before.

All the guys become excited, asking Noah a thousand questions about drifting, eager to learn;

especially when he informs them it's popular on motorcycles too.

I give Noami an appreciative smile. She winks at me and continues finding ways to win Noah

over with the guys, creating him a fan club.

An all too familiar voice shouts behind us, “Come take a shot with me, Noah!”
I have to break away from Noah to make sure the voice I heard was correct. Sure enough, my dad

is sitting at a table holding up two shot glasses. Dad never drinks. A glass or two of beer or wine and
that's it. I don't think I have ever seen him drink hard liquor, unless you count margaritas on the
enchilada night he does about once a month (I don't; he puts about half a shot in each drink). My eyes
go wide and they dart to Jill, who shrugs and gives me a “just go with it” look.

Noah smashes his lips to mine for one hard kiss before making his way to my dad. I notice a

drunken sway to his step and it makes me smile gleefully. I know it's weird to be happy your
boyfriend's drunk, but for Noah to feel comfortable enough to let loose and relax is huge.

“Babe!” Noah calls out, waving me over, “Get over here.”
My walk has a spring to it from the overwhelming sense of happiness I feel. I reach him at the

same time Jim Bob and Rick, my mom's long time boyfriend, come over. Noah wraps his arm around
my shoulder and kisses the top of my head.

My dad pours shots for Jim Bob and Rick. I dart another wide-eyed glance to my mom, who also

shrugs before continuing her conversation with Jill.

All four men hold up their shot glasses as my dad proclaims, “To Lily and Noah!”
In the background I hear my brothers shout out in unison, “Noah's the shit!”
Both my mom and Jill give them The Mom Glare. They snap their mouths shut and continue

talking to some of Noami's cousins. I catch Cody shyly smiling at a girl who looks just as nervous
around him while my other brother continues being the center of attention.

My heart has just quadrupled in size from all the people that matter most to me accepting Noah as

a part of our lives, but more importantly, accepting Noah as a person and a friend.

Chapter 32

Wednesday, August 20
2:14pm

Noah removes the blindfold from my eyes. I blink for my eyes to adjust to the outside light,

looking around at our racetrack, confused as to how this is a surprise.

We've been here every waking moment since we officially became the owners, getting it ready to

run as a business (which I must happily report has it's grand opening Labor Day weekend). The
classes we are offering are already booked until the end of the year.

There isn't much of “Jay's” money left, having used it all to buy the track and the thousands of

repairs and upgrades it needed, but neither of us cares. Noah's excited to earn his money doing
something he's passionate about and can feel proud of.

I gesture around me, “I don't understand?”
Noah's rocking on his heels, jittery since we woke up this morning and he took me to brunch, “I

have something to show you that I've been secretly working on.”

“When did you have time to do that?” After spending the days working our asses off to get this

place ready to open, we usually end up passing out from exhaustion in the main building, where we
made one of the offices into a temporary bedroom, not wanting to waste money on rent.

He winks at me, “I have my ways.”
Noah turns me and leads me to the far back where the five car garage is that he and my dad

worked on together. My dad never allowed me to go over there, claiming he wanted “bonding” time
with Noah.

We go behind the building that faces the desert to the single door. He removes a key from his

pocket and hands it to me, motioning for me to unlock it.

I study his face for a moment, but he's not letting himself reveal anything.
Intrigued, I open the door, shocked by what I find.
I step inside, eyes roaming around, taking it all in. It's like I exited the racetrack and entered a

subdivision; the inside of this place exactly as you would expect a house to look (minus the furniture).
I remove my shoes, wanting to feel the new carpet under my feet. Noah remains a few feet back as I
roam the open floor plan, only speaking to let me know one of the doors opens into the garage.
Eventually I take the stairs to the second level that was added a few months ago.

The entire upper floor is bedrooms. Three to be exact.
I make my way to the last bedroom and look out the window. It's the only room that has a view of

the tracks, the rest view the desert.

“They have the blinds built in,” Noah informs me, sounding anxious.
I play with the levers, watching the blinds go up and down or open and shut depending on which

one you slide. That is really cool.

“That way there's no figuring out what curtains to buy,” he nervously explains.
Wow. He remembers.
“The kitchen already has all the appliances,” I say softly, back still to Noah.
“Yeah, I didn't want you dying of boredom,” he teases.
“The walls are primer,” Noah advertises, hoping to get more of a reaction out of me. “I thought

either we could figure out the color together...or I could just do it; I wasn’t sure where you stood on
paint.”

My heart and stomach do a flip-flop simultaneously before charging into each other.
“There's no lawn to mow anywhere,” he pursues, still waiting for a response, but I'm speechless.

“The windows are double pane and the walls are soundproofed, so cars can't be heard. For, you
know...kids...babies sleeping...that kind of thing.”

“You want kids?” I ask, still facing the window, afraid to turn around.
I'm pretty sure I just heard him swallow, “I'm getting there.”
“For me or for you?”
“Both.”
“I'm not in any hurry,” I clarify. “One day, but I'm still young.”
“Good. I'll get there, but I'm not there yet.”
I nod in understanding, hoping he knows that I don't expect him to jump right in from living a

solitary life to a family man.

“I know this is unconventional, and I don't expect you to want to raise a family on a racetrack. I

just wanted to show you that we can be abnormal and still be a family,” he stops to scrub his scars,
something he rarely does anymore. “Fuck,” he mutters, head hung low, his hands finding his hips. “I
don't know how to do this.”

“Do what?”
“I'm trying to ask you to marry me and I'm completely messing it up. I'm so fucking nervous,” he

confesses, dropping to his bottom. He bends his legs up and loosely hangs his arms over his knees.
His chin dips down while he stares at the floor.

“Dammit,” he hisses. “I was almost able to go a whole day without cussing. We're going to have

little toddlers waddling around the room saying fuck all the time,” he groans out the last sentence as
though he's going to be a father any day now and the stress is finally weighing down on him.

“Yes!” I half sob, half shout.
His head jerks up, not sure what my outburst is about, but his eyes are hopeful.
I fling myself forward and tackle him to his back, raining kisses all over his face, “I want all of

it. I want to be your wife. I want to live here. I want to laugh every time you accidentally curse in
front of our kids and look like you just committed a felony.” I stop my kisses to meet his eyes, “I want
you by my side for the rest of my life.”

A half smile tugs at his mouth, his eyes studying mine, “When?”
I cock my head to the side, not understanding what he's asking.
He goes to peck my lips, but all it does is make me want more and I pull his face in closer,

reinforcing how much I want him, how much I need him in a way more than I need air.

He returns my advances by wrapping his hand around my neck, forcing his tongue in deeper, his

other arm locking me in place.

He breaks our lips apart just enough to talk, “When can I make you my wife?”
“The sooner the better!” I'm about to erupt with happiness.
He smiles along my lips, “How long do you need to plan a wedding?”
This makes me push back to see his face, “You would have a wedding?” I can't picture him

enjoying people staring at him all day, showering him with attention. He'd be miserable.

“For you, I would do anything.” The gruff way he speaks, eyes devouring mine, swallowing me

in with the deep love he has for me becomes my undoing.

“You ever been to Vegas?”

His mouth curves into the most breathtaking smile I have ever seen on him or anyone, shining

from his entire face, “I may have...”

I match his features and his eyes keep darting to my mouth then back to my eyes, not knowing

where to place their attention.

He tucks my hair behind my ear, “You sure?”
I nod up and down so quickly the room spins for a second, “I want my parents and brothers to be

there.”

The mammoth smile still hasn't left his face, “Of course.”
“Stevie and Naomi, too,”
“Not a problem. How soon can we go?”
“This weekend.”
His eyebrows shoot up, “Really? What if they can't make it?”
“Trust me, they'll be there.”
He shifts us so I'm underneath him, “So, by the end of this weekend you'll be my wife?”
“And you'll be my husband.”
“I like that. I like that a lot.” He goes to kiss me but stops, turning serious, “But don't women

dream about their wedding day? I think I can survive one day if it will make you happy. Shit,” he
curses, lifting off me and going back to his previous sitting position with his arms dangling over his
knees and his head hung low. “I forgot about a ring. I've completely messed this up.”

“I don't care about a wedding,” I sit up and crawl between his legs, wrapping my arms around

his neck. “I also don't care about some silly ring. All I care about is that we were lucky enough to find
one another.”

He lifts his head up, mouth twitching, “Can Elvis marry us?”
“Of course, I want this to be classy.”
I can tell by his expression he thinks I'm messing around, but I'm dead serious. I want our

wedding day to be full of laughter and memorable moments that we will never forget and be talking
about until we take our last breaths. I'm even thinking of letting Stevie buy my dress. It sure as hell
won't be classy, but you can bet it will be hot and the sexiest thing I've ever worn. Appealing to my
husband is my top priority on my wedding day.

“What else?” Noah urges, voice low and husky in the way he knows drives me crazy.
“I want my brothers to film it all, but Naomi will take the pictures.”
He throws his head back and laughs, “We should get some interesting stuff from them.”
“I want us to get matching bands. No diamonds, no fluff. Just the simple representation that I

belong to you and you belong to me.”

“Forever,” Noah affirms, heartfelt and quiet, beginning to undress me.
“Forever,” I confirm, helping him.
And that's just what we do. Elvis marries us in a small, cheesy chapel in Vegas that Saturday

afternoon, with my family, Stevie, Naomi, Malik, his wife, and their son in attendance. Arianna and
Charlie even show up, along with a timid Hattie, who apparently is now close friends with the two of
them. Ben couldn't get away, but sent his private jet for us to use and paid for us all to have our own
suites at the Bellagio.

Not having a typical wedding didn't stop my Aunt Lisa from throwing us a huge reception months

later. Noah clung to my side the entire time, looking more frightened than if a room full of guns were
pointed at him.

For the first time in my life, I don't care that I don't know what the future holds. I look forward to

the adventures of the unknown; to Noah and I finding our version of happiness.

Epilogue

Seventeen years later...
Saturday, June 7
2:57pm

I tighten my iron-clawed grip around the cement guardrail, wanting to look away from the track

but my eyes refuse; they stay committed to the car that is taking a hairpin too tight. This is why I never
watch; my heart can't take it.

The car clears the turn, the back end skirting back and forth. It straightens out and comes to a stop

a half-yard away from me. I finally allow myself to breathe.

The first thing I see is my husband popping out of the passenger side door with a shit-eating grin.

He sees me standing there and his grin gets bigger at the sight of my pale face and horrified eyes.

“Did you see that, babe? Our kid's a natural!”
I shake my head in disapproval, ready to tell him how I really feel, but the driver's side door

opens and I hear a “hell yeah!”

“Mom, did you see that?” My thirteen year old daughter, Magnolia, hollers at me, standing on the

door frame and resting her arms over the roof. All I can see of her petite frame are her bony arms and
head that's barely peaking over, helmet still strapped on.

“That was sick, Maggie!” My other thirteen year old (and only) son, Wesley, cheers, jumping

over the guardrail to swoop her up into a hug.

“Can we go again, Dad?” Maggie takes off her helmet, giving Noah her best “aren't I just about

the cutest thing you've ever seen” look that usually gets her whatever she wants, and not just from her
dad.

Maggie's determined to be the best drifter, male or female, across the globe. Although I don't

approve, Noah has been letting our kids ride the track since they could reach the pedals, but only if
he's in the car with them. Luckily, our little Maggie has only gotten to drive for the past year, having
inherited my short height and tiny frame. She also got my big honey-brown colored eyes and her
father's dark blond hair, which she always keeps in a ponytail.

I reluctantly have to admit, she is a natural.
“No way, it's my turn!” Malik's second child, Xavier, proclaims, joining the group. He's a year

older than our kids and Wes's best friend. He believes that he'll be the best drifter, causing many
arguments between he and Maggie. It doesn't help that they are both too hot headed to ever back
down.

Maggie and Xavier start verbally insulting the other's skills and justifying why they should get to

go for a run. Both their fathers ignore them and start up a conversation of their own.

Malik and Noah have a close relationship. I think it's because Malik “gets” Noah and has never

tried to press information out of him, making an easy friendship form between the two.

Besides Malik helping to make our business successful, an added bonus has been his amazing

wife, who instantly became the missing fourth member to my friendship with Noami and Stevie. The
four of us have a blast together and take a girls night out at least once a month. We have date nights
with the six of us all of the time. It's also been great that all our kids are close, spending almost every
waking moment here. It doesn't get much cooler for teens than a racetrack to hang out at.

It's really surprised me how many people have an interest in learning to drift and having a place

to go to enjoy the sport. It took a few years to really see any financial gain, but now we've become big
enough that we have other employees and it's not just Malik, Noah, and I working seventy hour
weeks.

We're closed today, our kids wanting their birthday party to be held here, loving any excuse to

show off to classmates that their parents own this place and they live here.

“Where's Vi?” Noah asks, head moving around.
“Seriously, Dad?” Wes comes over to stand next to his dad, letting everyone see exactly what

Noah must have looked like at that age, except he also got my eyes. “Where do you think she is?”

Noah laughs, realizing it was a stupid question. Violet spends her days in our garage under the

hood of a car. She reminds me the most of her father, never one to enjoy socializing or engaging in
conversation, loving her solitude.

Violet is our other thirteen year old daughter.
That's right, they are all thirteen.
Today.
Triplets.
Yikes.
The day Noah and I found out, we both went into panic attacks for separate reasons. Mine was

because I had no idea how the hell my body could carry and give birth to three babies and then take
care of them simultaneously. Noah freaked out thinking no good could come from the number three.
He fussed over me the entire pregnancy, scared shitless that any moment something was going to go
wrong and we'd all be taken from him. It wasn't until he held Wesley (the first to come out) that you
could tell he'd just found another reason to live. Then he held his daughters and he was done for; it
was love at first sight for all of them.

I never doubted Noah would be a wonderful father, but he proved me wrong; he's sensational.

He's always patient, understanding, and the first to grab them into a big bear hug, giving them an
abundance of love and attention.

One of my favorite memories is when the girls were in kindergarten. They made him colored

macaroni jewelry for father's day. Violet made him a necklace, Maggie a bracelet (her attention
span's incredibly short and couldn't sit still for anything longer). Noah wore them every day for two
straight years with pride. He would still be wearing them if the noodles hadn't started breaking. He
had me glue them to a piece of paper with a picture of him wearing them from the day he received
them, each girl hugging him. It's now hanging in our living room.

Wesley and Noah have a special bond that's hard to define. It's not your typical father/son

relationship. Seeing them interact gives me a good idea of the way Noah's father was with him. Noah
treats his son as his equal, which in turn Wesley has never tried to test our boundaries, always coming
to us to openly discuss things that are bothering him or he needs guidance on.

The two spend a lot of time together. The thing they enjoy doing the most is sparring. Wesley is

determined to one day beat his father, so he's never allowed Noah to purposely lose (not that Noah
would). The major difference between the two is Wesley is extremely outgoing and can't stand not
being around people and socializing, something Noah still has a hard time with, but thankfully it
doesn't seem to bother anyone we're close to. They all accept that's just how he is.

“Hey kids, happy birthday!” My mom and Rick call out, having just arrived with platters of food

in their hands. They are still happily together, but neither one has a desire to remarry, and they keep
their separate places.

I quickly take a platter from each of them and head over to the table we have designated the food

area.

Maggie stops her verbal smackdown to run over and give them a hug. Wes comes over to do the

same, already towering over them. The doctor thinks he'll be as tall as his father, if not taller.

A minute later Noami and Stevie arrive with their two children, twelve year old Ava and

seventeen year old Parker.

Stevie had wanted to adopt an older child, hoping to give them a better life like Naomi's parents

had for her. They met Ava when she was seven and instantly fell in love with her, and when they
found out she also had an older brother they had adopted him too.

Ava is the sweetest, most soft spoken girl, who makes the best cupcakes in the entire world.

She's also Maggie's best friend. Just like Noami and I, they really seem to balance each other out. Ava
stops Maggie from doing crazy things, and well...unfortunately, Maggie is usually getting them both
into trouble.

We all excitedly greet one another. Ava and Maggie give each other a hug before Ava goes to be

by Wesley, who takes her hand in his.

The very moment Wesley had laid eyes on her, he turned to me and quite seriously professed,

“This is a life changing moment for you, Mom. You're about to meet my future wife.” Mind you, he
was eight at the time. What do you say to that? But that's Wesley, overly passionate and loyal. Ever
since then they've been a “couple.” Stevie, Noami, Noah, and I don't think they've reached an
appropriate age to date yet, but when the two are together they are as close as two people can get.
Just recently we've allowed hand holding, which I'm sure they were already secretly doing.

Parker only gives a lift of his chin to acknowledge us all. The only people he gives proper

greetings to are my mom (Naomi gets on his ass if he's not polite to her) and Noah, who gets his own
special nod.

Parker has been a handful from the start, especially at the beginning. He was a bitter, angry child,

and at twelve tested Naomi and Stevie every chance he could. Ava was the only one he showed any
kindness to. He's amazing with her. I think the only reason she doesn't have his anger issues is
because he's always taken care of her and made sure she's protected.

A few years after the adoption, Noah got tired of hearing about the hell Parker was putting Naomi

and Stevie through, so when Naomi called me sobbing after finding out Parker had been suspended
from school for fighting–his seventh one that year–feeling like she was failing him and running out of
options to try, Noah snatched the phone from my hand and asked if he could join her at the school and
drive Parker home. No one knows what happened between them during the three hours it took Noah to
drop Parker home. Noah says it's not anyone's concern but his and Parker's. After that day, Parker
started slowly changing. Twice a week since then Noah has picked him up and they do god knows
what for three hours; neither one has shared. At one point Noah told Parker his entire story, which
shocked me since I'm the only other person who knows, but he said he needed Parker to understand
that he wasn't the one who'd had bad shit happen to him, and that staying pissed off all the time wasn't
going to change anything. We still haven't told our kids the whole story. Noah figures we'll know
when the time is right; he doesn't want the story tainting their childhood, wanting them to be carefree
for as long as possible.

Naomi is now Noah's number one fan and believes he's God's gift to us all for how drastically

he's made those she loves most into better people.

After softly conversing with Noah for only their ears to hear, Parker makes his slow meander to

the garage, where he and Violet spend all their time working on old cars. The only reason they accept

each other into their space is because they spend the whole time without conversing, only music and
the clinking of tools to be heard.

Noah watches Parker, jaw grinding, “Tell Vi she has ten more minutes before I drag her ass out

here!”

Parker doesn't respond or acknowledge that he heard, but we know he did; he follows any orders

Noah gives him.

Noah looks to me, “In about five minutes, I'm going in there. I don't like them spending so much

alone time together; Violet's maturing too fast. ”

I step closer to him so I can warp my arms around his waist, “I thought you trusted him?”
He scowls down at me like the answer should be obvious.
I shrug and raise my brows to let him know I'm not following. This has never been an issue in the

past. The two have spent time alone together from the beginning, even when Parker was going through
his “pissed off at the world” stage.

“Our daughters have their mother's smile. Do you have any idea how much stress that causes me?

Especially now that they are getting older?”

I beam up at him, still feeling the effects of his compliments.
“See? That right there,” he pecks my lips, “gets me every single time.”
His words only make my smile bigger.
Noah brings his mouth to my ear and a hand to squeeze my ass, “Stop, unless you want me to take

you back to our room.”

I do want him to; however, our kids' birthday party doesn't seem like an appropriate time.
One thing out of a trillion that I love about Noah is he wants me just as much now as he did when

I was twenty-two. The first time we made love after my c-section, I was embarrassed for him to see
all the loose, wrinkled skin and stretch marks that carrying triplets did to my belly, and that to this day
are still mostly there. Noah acted as though he didn't even notice a change, kissing along it as though it
was still flat and smooth, giving my deflated breasts just as much attention as always. It's truly like he
doesn't even see a change, or maybe it's just that it doesn't matter to him.

“Parker would never touch her, she's like a kid sister to him,” I remind Noah, trying to get his

focus away from the garage. Noah will forever be over protective when it come to me and his
daughters, despite not a single threat having come our way.

Noah snorts, “Yeah, until she's not a kid anymore.” He kisses the three scars on my neck,

something he does at least once a day, “I need a beer.”

I laugh at him and he brings his mouth to mine. For a moment I forget that we're having a birthday

party and all our friends and family are here.

Noah breaks apart, resting his forehead to mine, his heart rate spiked and visible on his pulsating

veins, “You need to stop tempting me.”

“Stop kissing me then.”
“Not possible.”
I love it when he gets mushy.
My brothers arrive, along with my dad, Jill, and a bunch of our kids' friends. It's the exact

distraction I need to keep me from molesting my husband in front of everyone.

We greet them and ask how my brothers' skateboarding shop is doing, which to no surprise is

still doing well. They ask if Arianna will be here and are bummed that she can't make it this year,
both loving to playfully flirt with her. Once Seth started noticing girls, the two of them became the
biggest flirts. They still are, having no desire to settle down.

Arianna's still an employee at Cole Private Bank and Trust. She figured out not long after she

started there that she's a natural at drawing in new clients and has brought in accounts from some of
the wealthiest people in the United States, making her an asset to the bank.

At least once a year she comes to visit us, always bringing Charlie with her as her personal body

guard. She's never explained why she needs her own guard, just that Ben demands it.

We don't hear much from Ben. He's one of those people that will always remain a mystery, and I

think he prefers it that way. He sends each kid a check for a thousand dollars every year on their
birthday, so they think he's the coolest guy ever.

“I think I need to have a talk with that kid about limits,” Noah growls.
I turn to see what he's focused on.
Violet and Parker are heading over to the party. Noah scowls at how close they are walking,

arms brushing with every small step they are taking, prolonging their arrival, neither one wanting to
partake in the party.

Violet's the only one that got my hair color and Noah's northern light eyes, ironically sometimes

making them appear violet, depending on what she's wearing. Where Maggie's one of those girls you
just want to pinch their cheeks they're so gosh darn cute looking, Violet is beautiful, her skin
porcelain and cheeks always with a rosy glow, which you don't often see because she usually has oil
smudges covering her. She doesn't smile very often, but when she does you can't help but stop and
stare.

I tug Noah's arm to try leading him back to the party, “You know it's not like that with Parker.

Besides, you can't keep guys aways from our girls forever.”

He scoffs, fists clenching, “Wanna bet?”
“Let's go get you that beer,” I encourage, forcing him to follow me, knowing Parker would never

do anything to destroy Noah's trust.

We watch all the kids, plus my brothers, ride the go-karts. We got them around the time the kids

were old enough to ride them and made it something to offer at the track a few times a month, a way
for families to come together. It's been a huge success for us.

Violet even joins in, laughing and having fun with her siblings. The three of them may be very

different, but they remain each other's best friends and confidants.

Noah wraps me in his arms and I can feel his smile without having to see it.
“Thank you,” he breathes into my ear.
I rest back into his firm body and sigh contently, “For what?”
“For everything good in my life,” he tucks me in tighter and kisses my head, whispering an “I

love you” into my hair.

Noah and I have definitely had our fair share of struggles, as individuals and as a couple. Our

relationship has never been perfect, our parenting sure isn't perfect (despite how hard we try), but the
love we share is, and at the end of the day that is enough.

For more information on J.M. Sevilla visit

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