MISSFIX-IT

EmmaHart

ForAlexia-BelleandCobie.

Theveryrealinspirationbehindallmyveryfictionalkids,

butinthisbookmorethanever.

ThankGod,you’renottwins.

Nopartofthispublicationmaybereproduced,distributed,ortransmittedinany

formorbyanymeans,includingphotocopying,recording,orotherelectronicor

mechanicalmethods,withoutthepriorwrittenpermissionofthepublisher,exceptinthe

caseofbriefquotationsembodiedincriticalreviewsandcertainothernoncommercial

usespermittedbycopyrightlaw.

Thisisaworkoffiction.Names,characters,places,andincidentseitheraretheproductof

theauthor’simaginationorareusedfictitiously,andanyresemblancetoactualpersons,

livingordead,businessestablishments,events,orlocalesisentirelycoincidental.

ChapterOne

Stereotypeswereabitch.

Iknewit.I’dliveditwithitmywholedamnlife.Asachild,it’dbeen,“Aw,it’sso

lovelythatKeithbringshisdaughtertowork.Sonicethatshe’sinterestedinhelpinghim,
too,eveninthatprettydress!”Asanadult,itwas,“Huh.She’sabuilder.Howstrange.
Doesn’tsheworryaboutbreakinganailorruininghermake-up?”

Well,screwstereotypesandyourpreconceivednotions,youdick.

Andfortherecord:Iwasn’tsoworriedaboutthemake-up,butthenailthing?Yeah.

Itotallyworriedaboutbreakinganailnowandthen.Chippingpolishwasjusttheworst.

TherewasadamngoodreasonalltheadvertisingforHancockHandymanCo.

eliminatedthefactIwasawoman.Whenmydadsemi-retired,I’dlearnedprettyquickly
thatpeoplewerewillingtooverlookourcompanyjustbecauseIwasawoman.

Severalsurpriseslater,wordhadgottenaroundoursmall,coastaltownofRock

Bay,andmostoftheresidentswerenolongersurprisedwhenKali,notKeith,showedup
ontheirdoorstep.

Thepeoplejustoutsideoftown?Stillsurprised.Stillfunforme.Especiallywhen

wivesandgirlfriendsandmomsconvincedtheskepticalmanofthehousetogivemea
chanceandIgottoblowthemaway.

Thatwouldnevergetold.

“Igotacallfromthemayortoday,”Dadsaid,absentlyflickingthroughtheTV

channels.

“Mhmm,”Ireplied,focusedmoreonthecatarticleonBuzzfeedthananotheroneof

themayor’scomplaints.

“HethinksyouneedtomakeitknownonTheFacebookthatyou’rethe‘K’inK.

Hancock.”

“Sohe’sbeensayingforeighteenmonths.Andit’sjustFacebook,notThe

Facebook.”

“Kali,youshouldconsiderit.”

Iglancedupwitha,“No.”

Hesnorted.“CanIhavehimcallyounexttimehewantstocomplain?”

“Youcanhavehimcallme,”Isaid,closingtheapponmyphone.“Butthatdoesn’t

meanI’llanswerit.IhaveotherthingstodothanlistentoMayorBennet’scomplaints.”

“Kali—”

“Dad,whenhefixesthefive-inchwidepotholeonMainStreet,thenI’lllistento

him.HeshouldbedoingthatinsteadofscrutinizingmyFacebookpage.”

Dadsighed,mutingthetelevision.“Ishouldhaveknownyou’dgetyourmother’s

stubbornstreak.”

Right.Becausehewasthemostagreeablepersonintown.“Sheobviouslyleftit

behindwhenshedied.Yougotthemoneyandthehouse,andIgottheattitude.Ineeda
good,strongstubbornstreaktodealwithyours.”

Hislipstwitched.“Mineisnecessary.IhavetofieldMayorBennet’scalls.”

“LikeIsaid.Hecanfixthepothole,thenwe’lltalk.”Ipaused,tuckinghairbehind

myear.“Plus,everyoneintownknowsyou’resemi-retired.Theonlypersonwhoforgets
isoldMr.Jenkinsandthat’sbecauseofhisdementia.Hell,Isawhiminthegrocerystore
thismorningandhecalledmeCoralandaskedmehowmypetclownfishwere.”

Dadopenedhismouth,thenobviouslydecidedagainstwhathewasgoingtosay.A

thoughtfullookcrossedhismind.“Atleasthemadetheconnectionbetweencoraland
clownfish.That’sbetterthanlastweekwhenhetoldIrmaDarlingthatMr.Picklesneeded
tobeinazooallbecausethecatbrushedupagainsthisankle.”

“Stupidnameforacat,”Imuttered.“Andthatthingdoesbelonginazoo.She

shouldhavecalledhimMr.Prickles.DamnthinghissesatmewheneverIcomewithin
fiftyfeetoftheregister.”

IrmaDarling—no,really,itwashername,andsheinsistedallgentlemenoverthe

ageoftwenty-fiverefertoherassuch.ExceptshewantedtobeIrma,darling.Shewas
alsoasmadaboxoffrogsonatrampoline…andutterlydelusionalifshebelievedMr.
Pickleswasassweet,cushy,cuddlycat.

“That’sbecauseyoualmostranhimoverwhenshegothimlastmonth,sweetheart.”

Iheldupmyhands.“Iwasunderthelimit.Don’tblamemeifthedumbcreature

jumpedinfrontofmytruck.”

Dadofferedmeawitheringlook.“Youjusthatecats.”

“No,Ihatethatcat.There’sadifference.”

“ArewetalkingaboutMr.Picklesagain?”Mystep-motherwanderedintotheroom,

pastasaucedecoratingthefrontofherwhiteshirt.Herblueeyesscannedthepairofus
frombeneaththick,darkeyelashes,andherpale,pinklipscurved,wrinklingattheedges.
“ThatdemoncatscratchedmylegwhenIwenttothestorethismorning.Irmatoldmenot
tostandonhistail,andItoldherthatifhercatattackedmeagain,I’drelievehimofthe
damntail.”

Dadbroughthishanduptohisface,closinghiseyesbeforehepinchedthebridge

ofhisnose.

“Thankyou,”Isaidlookingather.“ThethingsolditssoultoSatan,nodoubtabout

it.AlongwithMayorBennet.”

“Ohdear,”shesaid.“Hashebeenharassingyourfatheragain?”

Inodded.

“Themanneedstofocusonourpotholes.Ihavehalfamindtowriteastrongly

wordedlettertothecouncil.”

“I’llco-sign,”Ioffered.

“Ineedadrink,”Dadsaid.“Portia,honey,ifyouwriteanotherlettertothecouncil

thisyear,theymight…Well,Ihavenoideawhatthey’lldo,butCouncilorJeffrieswilllose
hismind.”

Momwiggledherfingerathim,thebrightredofhernailaquickflashofcolor

throughtheair.“Youcan’tloseamindifyoudon’tpossessoneinthefirstplace.I’vehalf
amindtorunforcouncilnextyear.”

“Excellent,”Daddrawled.“Youhavehalfamindtorunforcouncil,andtheother

halfisfocusedonwritingthemaletter.Doyouthinkyoucouldsparealittletofocuson
notburningdinner?”

IbittheinsideofmycheeksoIdidn’tlaugh.

“KeithHancock,I’llwashyourmouthoutwithsoapifyoukeepsassingme.”

“You’dhavetocatchme.”

“Thatwouldn’tbehard,dear.Youhaven’tmovedfromthesofaforthreehours.”

Iburstoutlaughing,quicklycoveringmymouthwithmyhand.Dadshotmealook

thatwasacrossbetween“shutup”and“don’tvalidateher.”Ofcourse,Ididn’tstop
laughing—I’dstoppedbeingafraidofthatlooktenyearsago—andgotawinkfromMom
formytroubles.

“CanIhelpyouinthekitchen,honey?”Dadasked,nowallsweetnessandlight.

“Youcanlocktheworkshop.Don’tthinkIdidn’tnoticethedooropen,andyou’re

notsittingthereuntiltwointhemorningbuildingthatcoffeetableagain.”

“Ooh,”escapedmymouth.“Areyoualmostdone?”

Dad’sexpressionbrightened.“Iam.Doyouwanttosee?”

Inodded,gettingupasheheavedhimselfoutofthechair.“Ihaven’tseenitsince

youstartedcarvingthefirstleg.”

“Thefirstthreearedonenow.Theyjustneedabitofsandingandvarnishing.Come

see.”

IfollowedhimoutoftheroomtoaneyerollfromMom,butitwasafondone.After

all,she’dcomeintoourliveswhenIwasthirteen.Sheknewmyfather’struepassionwas
carpentry,andsheknewthatalltheaspectsofbuildingandhandiworkwereengrainedinto
myverysoul.

Andmydad?Well.Hewasthebestdamncarpenterinthewholestate,andthis

coffeetablehadbeenhispetprojectformonths.

MyphonebeepedwithanotificationrightbeforeIcouldenterthebarn.Iheldupa

fingersoDadknewI’dbeinsideinaminute.Thenotificationbarshowedanewemailto
myworkaddress,soIclickedittoopenit.

To:HancockHandymanCo(khancock@hancockhandymanco.com)

From:BrantleyCooper(brantley-cooper@gmail.com)

Subject:re:WebsiteContactForm

DearSir/Madam,

I’mcontactingyoutodiscussthepossibilityofaconsultation.Irecentlymovedto

townandIwouldliketohavesomeonecomeinandfixupmychildren’sbedrooms.
They’renotingreatconditionatpresent.

Iwasrecommendedyourcompanybysomeoneearliertoday.Becauseofthe

conditionoftherooms,Iwouldneedsomeonetocomebysoonerratherthanlater.Isthis
somethingsomeonefromyourcompanywouldbeabletoaccommodate?

Ifnot,Icompletelyunderstand,andwouldappreciateanyrecommendationsfor

otherlocalcompanies.

Regards,

BrantleyCooper

Iclickedmytongueandresponded.

To:BrantleyCooper(brantley-cooper@gmail.com)

From:HancockHandymanCo(khancock@hancockhandymanco.com)

Subject:re:WebsiteContactForm

DearMr.Cooper,

Manythanksforyouremail.Couldyouprovidesomemoreinformationastothe

conditionofthebedrooms?Perhapspicturesifpossible?

Bestwishes.

K.Hancock

Itapped‘send’andheadedinsidetoviewDad’scoffeetableproject.Thelegswere

alllaidoutontheworktable,andonewasnoticeablyless-carvedthantheothers.Still,that
didn’ttakeawayfromtheintricacyofhiscarpentry,andIranafingerovertherough

surfaceofoneofthecompletedlegs.

“Theystillneedsandingandtreating,butIshouldbeabletostartthatnextweek.”

Dadpickeduptheunfinishedlegandstaredatit.“Ihopeso,atleast.”

“They’rebeautiful,Dad,”Isaidhonestly.“Thisisgoingtobeincrediblewhenit’s

finished.”

Hesetdownthelegandsmiledatmebeforehepulledmecloseandkissedmeon

thecheek.Thesalt-and-pepperwhiskersthatdottedhisjawandchintickledmyskinwith
thesweepingpeck,butIsmiledallthesame.

Myphonebeepedagain.

“That’salotofbeeps,”heremarked.“Anyoneimportant?”

“Potentialnewclient.Justmovedtotownandwantshiskids’bedroomslookingat.

Apparently,they’rerundown.”

“Howrundown?”

Iwavedthephone.“That’swhatI’m,hopefully,abouttofindout.”Idroppedmy

attentiontomyphoneandopenedthenewestemail.

To:HancockHandymanCo(khancock@hancockhandymanco.com)

From:BrantleyCooper(brantley-cooper@gmail.com)

Subject:re:WebsiteContactForm

DearK.Hancock,

Pleaseseetheattached.

Regards,

BrantleyCooper

Idownloadedtheattachmentsandpulledthemuponmygallery.Dadpeeredover

myshoulderasIswipedthroughthem.Theyweremostlypeelingwallpaperandcracked
paint,alightinneedoffixing,thefloorsinneedofdecentcarpetingorflooring,butthe
lastfewweretheonesthatheldtherealproblem:themoldonthewalls.

“That’sprettybad,”Dadsaid,tiltingthescreen.“Theymightneednewwindows,

andtheycertainlycan’tsleepinthoseroomsorthey’llgetsick.”

Inoddedinagreement.“Anditcouldbehisluckyday.Well,he’dhavetowaita

week,butIcandoitnextSaturdayandprobablystartthefollowingMonday.”

“Quietonthebooks?”

“OnceI’mdonewiththerepaintofSusieMichaels’guesthouse,yep.That’snobad

thing,though.Icouldhaveusedthebreak,butheobviouslyneedsmyhelp.”

Dadpattedmyshoulderandmovedaway.“Suredoes,Kali.Wantmetocomeand

helpyouchecktheplaceover?”

“No,it’sfine.I’mnotsureMomwouldbetooimpressedifIdraggedyouawaynext

Saturday.”

Apuzzledlookflittedacrosshisface.“Why?”

Iblinkedathim.“Uh…Dad?It’syourweddinganniversary.”

Hefroze,eyeswideningatmywordssankin.“Oh,shit.”

Ismirked,leaningagainsttheworktable.“There’sabunchofherfavoriteflowers

reservedatNovaforyoutocollectatsevena.m.,andIbookedyouatableatTheCoastal
Boulevard.Seven-thirtyreservation,andyes,theyalreadyknowit’syouranniversary.”

Hevisiblydeflated,sighingoutinrelief.“WhatwouldIdowithoutyou?”

“Getinalotoftroublewithyourwife.”

“Ican’targuewiththetruth.Talkingof—weshouldgobackinsidebefore.Dinner

isprobablyready.”

Inodded.“Letmejustreplytothisemail.I’llberightin.”

Dadleftmetoit,andIopenedmyemail.

To:BrantleyCooper(brantley-cooper@gmail.com)

From:HancockHandymanCo(khancock@hancockhandymanco.com)

Subject:re:WebsiteContactForm

DearMr.Cooper,

Thanksforthephotos.Icanseeyourproblem.Unfortunately,I’mbookedthisweek,

butI’mfreeforaconsultationnextSaturday.Isthatsoonenough?

Icanpointyouinthedirectionofotherrelativelylocalcontractors,butIdoubt

manywouldbeabletogetyouinsoquickly.

Hopetohearfromyouonthissoon.

Bestwishes,

K.Hancock

Hisresponsewithinseconds—beforeI’devenlefttheworkshop.

To:HancockHandymanCo(khancock@hancockhandymanco.com)

From:BrantleyCooper(brantley-cooper@gmail.com)

Subject:re:WebsiteContactForm

DearK.Hancock,

That’ssoonerthanIwasexpecting.Doestena.m.workforyou?

Regards,

BrantleyCooper

Iresponded,confirmingthetime,andadvisinghimtonothavehischildrensleepin

theroom.Ialsoofferedacommonsolutiontoremovethesurfacemoldonthewallsand
thewindowsill.Herespondedappreciatively,soItuckedmyphoneawayandheadedback
insidefordinnerwithmyfamily.

***

Momhandedmeaglassofwine.Ihadtohandleitcarefullythankstohertendency

toactuallymakeaglassofwineafullglass,andIwasnevermorethankfulthanrightnow
thatIcouldwalkhomefrommyparents’.

“Anynewsonthedatingfront?”sheasked,takingtheotherseatonthesofa.

Dadhadlongretiredtotheworkshoptoplaywithhistableleg,soshewasableto

askmethequestionsshereallywantedto.Iwastwenty-six,butthatdidn’tmeanmyfather
wascomfortablearoundthesequestions.

“Doyoumeannewsotherthan“oh,look,anotherdatewithafuckboy?””Ireplied,

sippingmywine.

“Atthispoint,honey,fuckboysaren’tnews.They’rethenorm.”

Igroanedinagreement.“It’sallthesame,allthetime.AndtheguyIwentoutwith

onWednesday?Hejustprovedhedidn’treadmybioatall.”

“Oh,dear.”

“Oh,dear?Oh,shit,ismorelikeit.”ThethingIlovedaboutmystepmother:She

hadapottymouthtorivalasailor’s,andwhileIhadtowatchitmostofthetime,whenwe
discusseddating,allbetswereoff.

Besides,crapboyjustdidn’tsoundasgoodasfuckboy.

“Thatbad?”Shelookedatmewithsympatheticeyes.

“Theworstyet,maybe.”Ipushedmyhairfrommyeyes.“First,hewaslate,whichI

forgavebecausehesaidhe’dgotcaughtintraffic.”

“InRockBay?Wasthetrafficseagullsontheroad?”

“Hesaidhelivedoutoftown,sowhatever.Eventhoughheneverapologized.”I

sippedagain.“Then,fiveminutesin,heasksmewhatIdo.ItoldhimIranthefamily
buildingbusinesssinceDadissemi-retired,andhegoes,“Oh,you’rethesecretary?””

Hereyeswidened.

“Isaid,“No,actually.I’mthebuilder,”andifIcouldhavecapturedthelookonhis

face,I’dhaveblownitupandtapedittothesideofthemayor’sbuilding.”

“Whatdidhesaytothat?”

MyfacewrinkledupasIsaidit.“Hecomplimentedmeonmyexcellentbicep

musclesandwentto“takeaphonecall.””

“Hestiffedyouwiththebill?”

Igrinned,shakingmyhead.“He’dbookedthetable,andyouknowhowMarcie

startedcollectingaddressesofbookerssincetheCoastalbecamethe‘it’place?”

“No!”

“She’sforwardedhimthebill.Igottoenjoyagreatdinnerforfree.”

“Howdidshedothat?”

“Apparently,hebookedonthewebsite,andthere’ssmallprintthatstatesthe

bookingpartyisliableforthebillintheeventofadategonewrong.Well—probablynot
that,butenoughtocoverpoorlittlewomenlikemewhogetstuffedbecausetheguyisa
dick.”

Momshookherheadandsighed.“AtleastMarciehasaplaninplaceforthose

dicks.”

“Onlybecausethelastguyshedatedthoughttheirdatewouldbefreebecauseitwas

atCoastal,”Iremindedher.“Marciethoughthe’dbegentlemanenoughtopay,butnope.”

“I’msogladIdon’thavetodatenow,”Momsaid.“Idon’tthinkIcouldstandit.I’d

likelybelockedupformurder.”

“You’vebeenmarriedtoDadfortenyearsnextweekend.Isn’tthatsimilartojail?”

She’dbeendrinkingherwinewhenI’dsaidthat,andshesnorted,clappingherhand

overhernose.Iburstoutlaughingasshesquealedandchoked.

“Damnit,Kali.HowcanIdrinkproperlyifyoukeepmakingmelaugh?”

Igrinned.

“Andfortherecord,no,marriageisnotlikejail.”Shepaused.“Mostofthetime.At

leastinjailthere’dbearotationofwhoseturnitistoloadthedishwasher.”

“Mom,please.EverytimeDadloadsit,youredoit.”

“It’snotmyfaultifhedoesitwrong.Ikeephopinghe’lltakethehint.”

Itappedmyfingeragainstmychin.“DoyouthinkifIwrote,“NOTTHE

SECRETARY”onmybioonthedatingsitepeoplewouldgetit?”

“No.Ithinkyoushouldsayyouarethesecretary,thenshockthemwhenyoucan

buildIkeafurniturewithoutswearing.”

“Andwithouttheinstructions.”

“That’sjustcocky.”

“Exactly.”

Sherolledhereyes,butherwineglasshidasmile.“Whoevermarriesyoubetter

havethepatienceofasaint,KaliHancock.”

“They’dbetterhavemorethanthepatienceofasaint.IwantthecockofaGod,

too.”

Sheblinkedatmeforamoment.“DoyoueverthinkIshouldbelessofthebest

friendkindofparentandmoreofthe“don’tspeaklikethat”parent?”

Itwistedmylipsinawrysmile.“Youtriedthatonce.Itlastedaweek.”

“Maybeit’stimetotryagain.”

“Fiftybuckssaysyoulastthreedays.”

Shetappedherfingersagainstherknee.“You’reright.Besides,youhaveyourdad

forthat.”

Onceagain,Igrinned,thankfulforhavingamomandbestfriendwrappedintoone.

ChapterTwo

Oneweeklater

Notetoself:agirls’nightoutthedaybeforeaconsultationwithapotentialclient

wasnotthebestideaI’deverhad.

Neitherwasthevodka.

Really,Iknewbetter.Meandvodkaweren’tfriends.Bythispointinmylife,I

shouldhavebeenabletosaynotheallureofanycocktailwithitin—andIdefinitely
shouldn’tbegivingintopeerpressurewhenit’stheshotsround.

Allthingsconsidered,Iwasaprettylousyadult.But,hey.Mybestfriendwasback

fromaworktripthattookherawayforamonth,andthenightouthadbeenplannedlong
beforeIgotBrantleyCooper’semail.

Thankfullyforme,rightnow,I’ddrankenoughwatertoquenchthethirstofaherd

ofelephants,hadscarfeddown—ahem—threebagels,showered,andbrushedmyteethat
leastfivetimestokillthealcoholgrimethedrinkingsessionhadleftbehind.

Iwasfeelingalmosthuman.Almost.

MyprofessionalheadwouldtakeoverwhenIwalkedinsidethehouse.Ihadmy

toolbox,eventhoughIdidn’tthinkIwouldneedit.Itwasmostlyforthetapemeasurethat
IwouldundoubtedlyloseifItookitoutofthebox.

Iwasalwayslosingthedamnthing.Iwasaboutreadytobuytheminbulkandstore

theminmybasement.

IswallowedamouthfulofwaterbeforeIstartedupmytruck.Thebright-pin

freshenerswungfromtherearviewmirrorasIpulledoutofmydrivewayandawayfrom
mymodest,two-storyhouse.

TheaddressBrantleyCooperhadgivenmewasn’ttoofarfrommyownhouse.A

fiveminutedrive,atenminuteorsowalk,sinceyoucouldcutthroughtheparkthat
separatedourneighborhoods.Ialsoknewittobepartofablockofhousesthathadmold
issueseversincetheywerebuilt.Theoriginalbuyershadbeengivencompensationforthe
problemsithadcaused,butthatdidn’tcountwhenyouwerebuyingitfromoneofthem.

Inotherwords,BrantleyCooperwasinforthelong—andpotentiallyexpensive—

haulifhe’dboughtthishouse,andIwasalmostcertainhehad.

Ipulledontohisstreet.Itwaseasytopickoutwhichhousewashis.Flattenedboxes

werepiledonthegrassbythemailbox,stackedsomewhathaphazardly.Ipulleduptothe
curbandkilledmyengine.AnotherdrinkofwaterandIgrabbedmytoolbox—anddrill
case,justincase—andheadedforthefrontdoor.

Irangthebell.

Ascreamanswered.

Itookastepback.

“No,Ewwie!”ayoungvoiceshouted.“Nooooo!”

“Eleanor.Elijah!”adeeper,gruffervoicesaidoverthenoiseofthemfighting.“Can

youstopfortwominutessoIcananswerthedoor?”

“Butshesaid—”

“Buthe—”

Thedoorswungopen,revealingtomethemanIpresumedtobeBrantleyCooper.

Holymotheroforgasms.

Dumbly,Istaredathim.Atthedarkhairthatcurledoverhisforeheadandears.At

theturquoise-blueeyesthatwerecurrentlysizingmeup.Atthesharpcheekbones,thefull
lips,thestubbledjaw…Thearmsthatlookedliketheycouldliftatankoverhishead.

“CanIhelpyou?”hesaidinalowvoicethatIcouldhearovertheunrulyfightingin

thehousebehindhim.

Mymouthwastoodrytoanswer.

Hecockedaneyebrow.“I’msorry,Ihaveanappointmentin…”Helookedatthe

watchonhiswrist.“Anymoment,actually,andIhavetosortmykids,so…”

“Mr.Cooper?”Thankgod.Hiagain,voice.Niceofyoutoshowup.

Hestopped,mid-turn,andpeeredatme.“Yes…”

Iheldoutmyhand.“KaliHancock.I’mheretoconsultwithyouonyourchildren’s

rooms?”

“KaliHancock.”Hesaidmynameslowly,rollingitaroundhismouthasifhewere

tryingitonforsize.

Deep,rumbly,and…suspicious.

Herewegoagain.

“TheK.HancockI’vebeenemailingwith?”

“That’sme.”

“Isitcommonforyourcompanytosendsomeonewhoisn’tthebuilderforthe

consultation?”

Itookadeepbreathandmotionedtothetoolboxbymyfeet.“Notatall.Iamthe

builder.”

Hestaredatme,eyebrowsdrawingtogetherinconfusion.Icouldseetheexact

momentunderstandingsettled,becausehiseyebrowsshotupandhislipspartedoh-so-
invitingly.

Damnit,no.Ididn’tgetattractedtostereotypicalpeoplelikehim.

Someoneneededtotellmyvaginathat.

“You’rethebuilder,”hefinallysaid,slowly.

Agut-wrenchingscreamcamefrominsidethehouse.

BrantleyCoopershookhishead.“I’msorry—comein.I’llbeaminute.”

“Thanks.”Ipickedupmytoolboxanddrillandsteppedintothehallway.There

wasn’talotofroom—he’deitherdownsizedtremendouslyorhe’dfailedtounpackalot
ofstuff.Howlonghadhebeenherefor?

“Eleanor,Elijah,that’senough.”Heclappedhishandsinthenextroom.

IleanedtothesidesoIcouldseethroughthedoor.

What?Iwasnosy.HowelsedidIfindstuffout?

Hestoodinfrontoftwochildren,aboyandagirl.Despitethefactthelittlegirl—

Eleanor—wasaninchtallerthanherbrother,Elijah,itwasobvioustheyweretwins.

How?

Theybothhadhairthatwasagolden-browncolorthatglintedalmostcopperinthe

sunlightthatstreamedthroughthewindowbehindBrantley.Theybothstoodinidentical
positions,too.Legsapart,armsfolded,andthescowlsthatmarredtheiradorablelittle
faces…Well,youcouldhavemergedphotosofthoseexpressions,andyouwouldn’tbe
abletotell,evendowntothefrecklesthatappearedtodottheirnoses.

“Imeanit,”Brantleysaid.“Thebuilderisheretotalkaboutyourbedrooms.I’ll

sendherhomeifyouaren’tgoingtobehaveyourselves.”

Inperfectsync,theydroppedtheirarms,andtheirscowlschangedintohorrified

expressions.

“No,Daddy!”Eleanorrushedtohimandtuggedonhisjeans.“No,no,no,Ineed

mypwincesswoom!”

“No!”Elijahcopiedhissister.“Ineedmysuperhewowoom.”

“No,Ineed—”

“Ineedyoutostopshouting,”Brantleysaid,extractingthetwinsfromhim.“Next

time,you’rebothintimeout,doyouhearme?”

Twopairsofwideeyesgazedupathim,andgolden-brownhairbobbedasthey

noddedinunison.

Man.Thatwascreepyasfuck.

“Now,”hecontinued.“Iwantyoubothtositdownwiththepaintchartsandpick

outthecolorofyourwalls.”Hepulledtwochartsoffthepractically-emptybookcaseto
thesideofhimandhandedthemoneeach.“I’mgoingupstairswithMs.Hancock,andthe
secondIhearfightingisthesecondElliegetsthesuperheroroomandEligetstheprincess
one.Okay?”

IfEllielookedhorrified,Eliwaspositivelybesidehimselfatthepossibility.

NeverhadIseentwochildrensitdownandstareatpaintchartssointentlyinmy

entirelife.

Brantleyblewoutabreathandranhishandthroughhishair,joiningmebackinthe

hallway.“Sorry.WejustmovedfromDenver,andthisisabitofachangeforthem.No
preschool,theylosttheirnanny,myparentsaren’taroundanymore…It’shard.”

Nomentionoftheirmom.

Hmm.

Washesingle?

Damnit,Kali.Putyourthirstyvaginabackinitscage.

“Don’tworry.”Ismiled.“Shallwegoupstairs?”

Heglancedbackinthelivingroom.“Whilethey’restillquiet?Absolutely.Idoubt

it’lllastlong.”

Iswallowedalaughandgrabbedmythings.I’dbeenherelessthanfiveminutes,

andalreadyIcouldtellthatwastotallytrue.

Ifollowedhimupstairs,andIswear,Itriednottolookathisass.Itwasliterallya

mantrainsidemyhead.

Don’tlookathisass.Don’tlookathisass.Don’tlookathisass.

Itdidn’twork.Itwashardnottolookathisass.Itwasroundandpeachyand

goddamnit,Iwasaheathen!

Whatwasgoingonhere?Wasitahangovereffect?

Thatwasit.

Itwasalingering,painfultraceofthatfuckingvodka.

Still…Itwasareally,reallygreatass.AndIwasanassgirl.Andanarmgirl.And

aneyegirl.Andamouthgirl.Andacock-like-a-godgirl.

Basically,Iwaseasytopleaseunlessyouspokelikeacock.

“…reallyworked,”Brantleysaid,reachingthetopofthestairs.

Oh,shit.Ihadn’theardawordhe’dsaid.

“Good.”Wasthattherightthingtosay?Goddamnhismesmerizingass.

“Yes—themoldonthewallsisalmostcompletelygone,butIthinkit’sjuststaining

now.”Hepushedopenadoor.“ThisisEllie’sroom.Her’swasalittleworsethanEli’s.”

Isteppedinsidetheroomafterhim.Thepicturesreallyhadn’tdoneitjustice—the

paperwasripping,thefloorwasindesperateneedofanoverhaul,andthewindowsstill
heldthesignsofthemoldinthewayitwasetchedintotheedgesofthewindows.

Iputdownmythingsandwenttotakeacloserlook.“It’sjuststaining,”I

confirmed.“Ineedtolookmore,butIthinkit’sjustblackmold,whichisaproblemallthe
housesinthisneighborhoodhave.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.Theoriginalcontractorsscrewedsomethingup,butsinceyouboughtfrom

someoneelseandnotthem,managementisonyou.”

“Great,”hedrawled.“Isthereanythingyoucandoforit?”

“Honestly,”Isaid,turningaround.“Ifit’sjustsurfacemold,no.Itreallyisjust

management.Makingsuretheroomisairedout—especiallyincoldermonths—andthat
yougivethewindowsawipedownwiththesolutionyoualreadyused.”

“Really?That’sit?”

“Well,sinceI’mpainting…Thereisamixtureyoucangetthatyoucanputinto

paint.Itwon’thelpthewindows,butit’llcounteractthemoldtryingtoformonthewalls.”

“Canyoubuythat?”Histurquoisebluegazesettledonmeintently.

“Ican,but…”Ipaused.“Itcanbeexpensive,andifyouneeditformorethanone

room…”

“Ican,but…”Ipaused.“Itcanbeexpensive,andifyouneeditformorethanone

room…”

“Icanwriteyouthedepositchecktoday.”

Well,thatchangedthings.“Icanorderitassoonasit’scashed.”

Henodded.“Perfect.ShallweseeEli’sroom?”

Inoddedandfollowedhim,feelinglikeoneofthosestupidbobby-headdogspeople

putintheircars.

Eli’sroomwasmuchthesameasEllie’sintermsofwhatitneeded.Newfloors,

newwalls,moldtreatment.Thatwasallstandard,though.ItwaseverythingelseIneeded
toknowthatwasn’t.

“Whatelseareyouthinking?Icanseeyou’rehopingformorethanjustabitof

paintandnewcarpetfitted.”

Awrysmiletwistedhislips.“Howdidyouknow?”

“It’smyjobtoknow.”

Hemotionedtowardthestairs.“Ineedtocheckthetwins.CanImakeyoua

coffee?”

“Sure.”Webothwentdown.Bysomemiracle,atleastjudgingbyhisrelievedsigh,

thetwinswerequietandstillpickingtheirpaintcolors.Whoknewitwassucha
complicatedjobforsuchtinypeople?

Heledmeintothekitchenandwavedhishandatthetable.“Takea—holdon.”He

shiftedtwoboxesfromachairandputthembythebackdoor.“Sorry.Unpackingisdamn
hardwithtwokidsaround.”

“Areyoubyyourself?”

Henoddedbrisklyandturnedonthecoffeemachine.

“Youdon’thavefamilyhere?”Ifrowned.NobodymovedtoRockBayifthey

didn’thavefamilyhere.

Hegrippedtheedgeofthecounter.“Nofamily.Thetwins’mompassedawaytwo

andahalfyearsago.”

Iopenedmymouth,closedit,andopeneditagain.Nothingcameout.

Oh,that’sright.Nothingcameoutbecausemyfootwasinmymouth.

“I’msorry,”Ifinallymanagedtoekeout.“Ishouldn’thaveasked.”

Hewavedhisarmdismissively,settingamuginfrontofme.“Twoandahalfyears

isalongtime.

“I’msorry,”Ifinallymanagedtoekeout.“Ishouldn’thaveasked.”

Hewavedhisarmdismissively,settingamuginfrontofme.“Twoandahalfyears

isalongtime.Youdidn’tknow.Icanseewhyyouasked.RockBayisalittle…quieter…
thanI’dexpected.”

Awrysmileassuredmehewasn’ttooannoyedatmyquestioning.

“Creamandsugar?”

“Please,”Isaid.“Sorry.I’malittlenosyandsometimeshaveahabitofputtingmy

footinmymouthandchewingonmytoes.”

“Hopefullynotliterally.”

“NotsinceIwasatleastthree.”

Hehalf-grinned.“Gotanytipstostopthat?Eliisafanofhistoenails.”

Iwrinkledmynoseup.“Oh,gosh.”

Brantleypulledhismugfromthemachineandsatoppositeme.Hepiledthree

sugarsandadashofcreamintohiscoffee,thensmiledagain.“Ifsomebodyhadwarned
mehowgrosskidsare,Imighthavereconsidered.”

“Well,that’sthereasonI’mnotakidperson,”Iadmitted.“Ican’tdealwiththe

toenailsthing.”

“Elliedoesn’tdoit,sothere’sthat.”

“Yeah,no.Haveyoueverbeenateenagegirl?”

“I’monehundredpercentsureIhaven’t.”

Ibittheinsideofmycheek.“Well,myapologiesforwhatwillhappentoyouinten

years.”

“Thanks.”Hefoughtanevenwidersmile.“So,theotherstufffortheirrooms…”

“Sure.Goonahead.”IpulledmyphonefrommypocketandopenedmyNotesapp.

Heglancedatitwithaquirkedeyebrow,butdidn’tacknowledgeitotherwise.“The

roomsaren’thuge,soI’dliketogetthemahigherbed,butnotareallyhighone.”

Technical.

“Amid-sleeper?Withroomforadeskorsomethingunderneath?”

“That’sit,butIthinkElliewouldpreferadress-upwardrobewithspaceforbooks,

andEliwouldprefera“bat-cave”typething.”

IsmiledandnoddedasItappedthatontotheapp.“Icandefinitelydothat.Mydad

isanexcellentcarpenter,andhe’dbethrilledtotakeonthatchallenge.”

“Really?He’sacarpenter?”

“Familybusiness.”Mysmiledturnedwry.“Don’tthinkyou’rethefirstpersontobe

confusedwhenIshowup.”

“TheK.Hancockthrowsyou,that’sforsure.”

IsuckedmylipbetweenmyteethsoIdidn’tgrinevenwider.“Isthereanyother

furnitureyou’dlikebuilt?Dadcanbuildbedstomatchanythingyou’dbebuyingfroma
store.”

“Iactuallyhavetheirfurniture.Iplannedtobuildit,butthenthemold…Then

parentinghappened,andI’mstartingtofeellikeI’llneverhavetime.”

Iheldupmyhands.“Don’tworry.Icanhandlethatforyou,too.AllI’llneedisyou

togetmephotosofthefurnitureorlinkstothem.I’llpassitontomyfather.”Ipaused.
“Youknowthat’salittleextra,right?Thebeds.”

Henodded.“It’sfine.They’vehadaroughtime,andIwantthemtobehappy.”

Somethingdeepinsidemewarmedatthatstatement.“Whydon’tyougivemeyour

phonenumber?IcanpassallthisontoDad,andhecancallyouwithaquote.”

“Sure.Doyoumind?”Hepointedtomyphone.

Ibroughtupthecontactsandhitthebuttonforanewone.

Heinputhisnameandnumber,thenslidthephonebacktome.

Well.ThatwastheeasiestI’devergottenahotguy’snumber.

“Whendoyouthinkyoucanstart?”

“Monday,”Ireplied,finishingmycoffee.“I’llneedtocomebyacoupletimesthis

weektotakesomemeasurementsforthebiggerthingsanddropoffsomebrochuresfor
you.I’llcallaheadtoletyouknow,butI’llbehereateight-thirtyonMondaymorningto
starttearingoutthatwallpaperandflooring.Isthatgoodforyou?”

“Thatworks.Canthekidsgointheirownroomsnowthemoldisgone?”

Istood,tuckingmyphoneinmypocket.“Wipethewallseverydayandleavethe

windowopensoitcandryout.Ifyoudothat,Idon’tseewhynot.”

“Perfect.Ineedsomepeaceback.Talkingofpeace…”Hegotupanddartedintothe

frontroom.

IhoveredawkwardlybeforeIgrewthecouragetopeekinsidetheroom.

“Ohmygod.”Brantleycoveredhisfacewithhishands.“Wheredidyoufindthe

pens?”

“Ewididit,”Elliesaid.

“No!Ewwiedidit!”herbrotherreplied.

Iedgedalittlefurtherinside.Onthelovely,creamwallofthelivingroomwasa

dodgylookingfairywithonewing,alldrawninpink.Nexttoherwasastrangedinosaur
withpurplespotsthatwerehalf-colored.

AsifheknewIwasthere,Brantleydroppedhishand,blinked,andlookedatme.

“Canweaddthelivingroomtopainting?”

Helookedsohelpless,so…exhausted…yetalsolikehewastryingnottolaughat

theirartisticstreak,thatittookeverythingIhadnottolaugh,too.

“GoodthingIhavealotofdustsheets.”

ChapterThree

“So.”Jaydaleanedbackonmybedandwriggledhertoesinherstripysocks.My

bestfriendhadskippedoutearlyonabaddate,promptlydecidingtoshowupatmyhouse
withwine,ice-cream,andcandy.“Howaboutyoutellmeaboutyourlastdate?”

“Nuh-uh.”IpulledaTwizzlerfromthepacketandbitofftheend.“Youknowabout

mylasthorrordate.You’retheonewhoranawaytonight,andifyoushowedupwithall
this,itmusthavebeenbad.”

“AsidefromthefactIknowbetterthantoshowupatyourhousewithoutTwizzlers

—”

“Truestory.”

“—You’reright.Itwasterrible.Probablytheworstoneever,actually.”

IturnedmyheadawayfromtheFriendsre-runandstaredatherprofile.Shewas

theblondtomybrunette,andIhadnoideahowshewassinglewithhercutebuttonnose,
fulllips,andlarge,blueeyes.

“WorsethanJohnnyKnox?”

Shegroaned,leaningherheadrightbackagainsttheheadboardandreachedforher

wineglass.Insteadoftheglass,shegrabbedthebottle.Ismirkedwhenshetookonelook
atit,shrugged,andswiggedstraightfromit.

“Wow.”Wowwastherightreactionhere.IfitwasworsethanJohnnyKnox,Mr.

Handsyhimselfwhotriedtogetheroffrightthereinthemiddleoftherestaurant,itwas
bad.

“Itwasastringofbullshit,Kali.Firstup,heshowsofflate.”

Beenthere.

“Then,hedidn’tlookanythinglikehispicture.Claimedtheonlydifferentwasthe

facthedidn’thaveabeardordarkhairanymore.”Shewavedthebottleandputitdown,
switchingitfortheglassbeforechanginghermindagain.“Fine,whatever.Hewasstill
cute.IsuckedupthefactI’dspentthirtyminutesgettingsympatheticlooksbecause
everyonethoughtIwasbeingstoodup.Youknowwhat?IwishIhadbeen!”

Oh,boy.

“So,hefinallysitsdown.Weordertwodrinksandourmeals.Herefusestoget

startersoradessertbecauseoftheprice,andthat’sthefirsthinthe’satotalfuckboy.”

I“hmmed”inagreement.

“Hedoesn’taskwhatIdoorhowIam.Hedoesn’tevenapologizeforbeinglate.

Insteadhelaunchedintoamonologueabouthowstressedheisatworkandhowlonelyhe
issincehispetrabbit,Cheeto,died.”

“HenamedarabbitCheeto?”

Sheheldupapink-tippedfinger.“Nottomentionhisbudgies,BenandJerry,are

fightingcolds.”

“Budgiesgetcolds?”

“Apparently.So,he’sheartbrokenoverCheeto,BenandJerryaresick,and

honestly,IwantedtoaskhimifhehadanantfarmcollectivelynamedtheSourPatchKids
orsomethingequallyridiculous.”

“Youdidn’t?”

“No.”

“Youmissedatrickthere.”

“We’renotallunfilteredlikeyou.”

“I’mnotunfiltered.”Ipaused.“I’m…quick-witted.”

Sheraisedaneyebrowatme,settingthewinebottledown—andleavingitthere

insteadofpickingitbackuplikeshedidbefore.“Sure.Quick-witted.That’sonewayto
describeit.”

“WhydidIletyouin?”

JaydawavedtheTwizzlerpacketatme.

“Shutup,”Imuttered,snatchingitoffher.“Tellmetherestofthedate.”

“WheredidIgetto?Oh,yeah—thesickbudgies.”Shewedgedthetubofice-cream

ontoherlapandwriggled.“So,Iapologized,butbeforeIcouldaskhimanything,hedove
intoaspielabouthowhismotherneverlovedhim.”

Ohdeargod.

“Whatdidyoudo?”

“Idownedmywineandexcusedmyselftothebathroom.Marciesentthenewbar

girlintotellmetorunonhersignal.”

“What?Why?”

“Marciecorralledhimtowardthebarwiththepromiseofafreedrink,because

she’dheardhissadtale,andneededanewwhiskeytriedout.”

“Diditwork?”

Jaydanodded.“IlefttothesoundsofhimregalingMarciewithataleabouthowhis

motherkickedhisfirstcat,Noodles.”

“Idon’tknowifthebiggerconcernishisobsessionwithanimalsorhismotheror

thewayhenamesthem.”

“Thenames.Nogrown-assmanshouldeveradmittohavingacatnamedNoodles

unlesshissisternamedit.”Shesighed.“IthinkI’mdestinedtobesingleforever.”

“No,you’rejustlookinginthewrongplaces.I’mstartingtofigureoutthatonline

doesn’tmeansuccess.”

“Starting?”

“Wantmetomakeyoufeelbetteraboutyourlife?”

Shenodded.“That’salwayshelpful.”

Sighing,Igotupoutofbedandwenttofetchmylaptopfromdownstairs.WhenI

hadit,Iwentbackupandsatonthebed,loadingitup.“IcheckedmymessagesbeforeI
wenttoworkthismorning.Someofthemweresobad…Andnotevenjustbad,butsome
ofthemwerethegrossestthingsever.”

“Well,Ihaven’thadthosethisweek.Iguessthat’saplus.”

“Nokidding.Okay,here.”Iloggedintothedatingwebsiteandwenttomymessage

box.“Lookatthisguy.“Kinkysubforyoutokeepinchastityandmakeyourlittlebitch.”
Andifitwasn’tenough,checkthepictures.”

Iclickedononeandlookedaway.

“Ohgod,myeyes!Theyburn!Getitoff!”

Iwincedatthe…portly…gentlemanwearingnothingbutleatherstrapsandacollar

onhiskneesandhitthe‘x’buttononthepop-up.

“Ihavetwoquestions,”Jaydasaid,peeringatthescreenfrombetweenherfingers.

“Thefirstoneis,whydoyougetthoseandIdon’t?”

“Doyouwantthem?”

“Shit—please,no.”Shesnorted.“Mynextquestionis,whydotheykeepcomingto

you?What’sinyourprofilethatisn’tinmine?”

“Dunno.Doyouthinkit’sthebuilderthing?”

“Maybe.Mr.KinkySubsoundlikehewouldn’tmindyouscrewinghimintoa

wall.”

Istilled.

Turningtoslowlymeethereyes,thetwinkleinthemkilledmewithinseconds.We

bothburstoutlaughing,andIreachedformynow-emptywineglass.

“Damnit.”

Jaydawavedthebottle.“I’llpouritifyoutellmeaboutthenewguyintown.”

“BrantleyCooper?”

“Ishethetwinsguy?”

“Uh,yes.”

“Jesus,”shemuttered.“Evenhisdamnnameishot.”

Isnatchedthewineoutofherhand.“Youshouldseehisass.”

“Doyouneed,uh,anassistantnextweek?”

“HiskidswerefightingwhenIgotthere,thendrewonthewallsrightbeforeIleft.”

Jaydawrinkledhernoseup.“Hmmm.Letmeknowontheassistantthing.Imean,I

mightbebusy.”

Imaginethat.

ChapterFour

Afteraweekofrunningbackandforthbetweenmybookedjobsandtaking

measurementsatBrantley’s,IwasmorethanreadytogettoworkonEllie’sroomtoday.

I’dworkedoutafullgameplanwithmydadatFridaydinnerandseenhisplansfor

thebeds.He’dbeenthrilledtoworkonsomestuffforlittlekids,andhadpromptly
remindedmethathe’dbeenmarriedtomymotheratmyage.

Mystepmomhadthenreassuredme—outofearshot—thattherewerewaymore

fuckboysinmygenerationandnottoworryaboutit,butbabieswouldbenicesoon
enough.

So,withthelittlenuggetofinformationthatmyparentswantedmetohousea

humanbeinginmyuterusprettysoon,IgotintomytruckandheadedtowardtheCooper
house.

IwasarmedwithallthethingsIneededtosoakoffwallpaper.Notonlywaseight-

twentypracticallythemiddleofanightonaMonday—andcertainlynotatimemybrain
wasabletofunctionpast“coffee”—butremovingwallpaperwastheworst.Tedious,
messy,andtime-consuming,Ihatedit.

Nobodytellmydad.

Still,Iwasready.Attheveryleast,themonotonousscrapingagainstthewallwould

hopefullydothesamethingtomybrain.Scrapeawaythedreadfulandslightlypainful
messagesI’dbeenreceiving.

Oh,that’sright.

Mr.KinkySubasJaydahadnamedhimwasn’tinfacttheworst.

Nope,thatwasMr.Hammer,whomessagedmeaveryslick,“You’reabuilder.I’m

abuilder.Wannahammeraholethewalltogether?”

Andtothink—I’dalmostbeenexcitedabouttheacknowledgmentthatIwas,in

fact,abuilder,andnotasecretary.

Ishouldhaveknownitwouldbetoogoodtobetrue.

ItookadeepbreathasIpulledintotheemptydrivewayoftheCooper’shouse.It

didn’tlookasifanyonewashere,andthathadbeenparthecourseforthepastweek.
We’dcollidedonce,briefly,andthathadn’tevenbeenatthehouse.I’dbeenusingthe
sparekeyunderthepotofflowersnexttothedoorallweek.

Ihatedthat.Ialwaysfeltlikesomeonewaswatchingmepickitupandputitback.

Thismorningwasnodifferent.

Ihoppedoutofthetruckandcheckedmyphone.I’dbarelyglancedupfromitwhen

IsawMr.AckermanwalkinghiselderlyDoberman,Dixie.

“Goodmorning,Kali,”hesaidinhisthroaty,shakyvoice.“Workingforournice,

youngneighbor?”

“Goodmorning,Mr.Ackerman.”Ismiled.“Yes,sir,Iam.”

“Good,good.Lovelyyoungman.Cutekids,too.He’dbegoodforyou.”

Ahh,thereitwas.“Thatwouldbecompletelyunprofessionalofme.”

“Onlywhenyou’reworkingforhim.”Hecackled,winked,andtippedhisever-

presenttweedcapatme.“Haveagoodday,Kali.”

“You,too,Mr.Ackerman.”Ismiledashewalkedpastthecar,awhistlefillingthe

air.Whenhe’dgonefarenoughthathecouldn’tseemeandnobodyelsewasaround,I
bentdownandretrievedthelittle,silverkeyfrombeneaththealmost-emptyflowerpot.

Itclickedinthedoor,andwhenIpusheditopen,Idroppedthekeyinthebluedish

onthesidetableandheadedbackformythings.SinceIknewitwouldtakemethebest
partofthedaytostripoffthewallsandfigureoutthestateofthembeneaththatpaper,I’d
onlybroughtthatstuffwithme.

Idraggedtheboxinside,shutthedoor,andheadedupstairs.Iwasusedtothehouse

beingquiet—aBarbiedollonthestairs?Notsomuch.

“Fucker!”Isnapped,hissingasthesharpfeelofthedoll’snosedugintotheballof

myfoot.

Youknowwhat?EveryonealwayssaidaboutLegobeinghelltostepon—they

neversaidadamnwordaboutBarbie’sface.

IwonderhowshefeltwheneverKenwantedheronhisface.

Ouch.

Igentlynudgedthebitchdolltothesideandfinishedmyjourneyupthestairsand

intoEllie’sroom.

MakingsuretherewerenooffendingBarbiesonthefloorinhere,Iputmybag

down,andgottowork.

***

“ButIwannajooooosh!”

Istartled,turningtowardthedoor.

“Getinside,please,”Brantley’svoiceechoedupthestairs.

“I.Wanna.Joosh!”

“ElijahCooper,getinsiderightthissecond.”

“No!”

Wide-eyed,Iscrapedapieceofwallpaperoff.

“Fine,thenyoucanstandoutsideonthefrontstepsandeveryonewillseehowsilly

youare.”

Thedoorshut.

MyjawdroppedandIlookedEllie’sbedroomdoor.

Didhejustshuthimoutside?

Bangingagainstsomethingdownstairsconfirmedthattobetrue.

“Dad!Daddy!Daddy,pweaseletmein!”Eli’svoicegrewthicker.“Daddy!”

Thedooropened.“Areyougoingtocomeinnicelynow?”

Ididn’thearhisresponse,butIheardBrantleysay,alotquieter,“Now,asknicely

forajuiceandI’llgetyouon.”

Iheardnothingmore,soIwentbacktoscrapingthepaperoffthewall.

“IsthatKawi’scaroutside?”Ellie’slittlevoiceasked.

“Yes.”ThesoundofcupboardsopeningandclosingaccompaniedBrantley’svoice.

“She’sinyourroomrightnow.”

Shegasped.“CanIgosayhi?”

Hesitation,andthen,“No,letherwork.”

“Iwannasayhiiiiii.”

“Iwanttoputthegroceriesaway,butsometimesitsucks,okay?I’msureshe’ll

comedownandsayhisoon.”

“Iwannasayhinow.”

Isqueezedmyeyesshut.Ugh—Ididn’tlikekids.Ineverhad,evenwhenIwasa

kid.ButhereIwas,contemplatinggoingdownthererightnow,becauseherlittle,lispy
voicewasmakingmewantto.

“Ellie…”

Iputdownmyscraperonthewindowsillandturnedtogodownstairs.Honestly,I

neededsomewateranyway,soitkilledtwobirdswithonestone.

“Daddy…”

“Hey,”Isaid,steppingslowlyintothekitchen.“DoyoumindifIgetsomewater?”

Brantleyturnedtolookatme.Reliefflittedacrosshisface,mixedwiththehintof

happiness.“Hi—ofcourse.Therearesomebottlesinthefridge.Didwedisturbyou?”

“Notatall,”Ihalf-lied.“Thanks.”IgrabbedabottleandlookedatEllie,smiling.

“Hey,Ellie.Hey,Eli.”

Eli’seyeswidened.“Hi.”Helookedaway,atthefloor.

“Hi,Kawi!”Elliebouncedontheballsofherfeet.“Areyoudoingmybedwoom?”

“I’mpullingallthehorriblepaperoffthewalls.”Iuncappedthewater.“Doyou

wannacomesee?”

Elinarrowedhiseyesandansweredbeforeshecould.“Didyoudomywoom?”

“Notyet.Oneroomatatime.”

“WhyyoudoEwwie’sfirst?”

“Eeniemeenieminymo,”Ianswered,keepingmyexpressionstraight.“Nexttime,

I’lldoyoursfirst,okay?”

Heside-eyedme,puttingthestrawofhisjuiceboxinhismouthandsuckingonthe

applejuiceinsteadofansweringme.

Ellierolledhereyes.“He’ssogwumpy.CanIseemywoom?”

Theirinabilitytosay‘r’correctlywasnothinglessthancompletelyadorable.

Justlikethedimplethatindentedherrightcheekwhenshegrinnedhopefullyatme.

IglancedatBrantley.

Heshruggedashoulder.“Aslongasit’snotdangerous.”

“NothingcanbemoredangerousthanmyshockwhenIstompedonBarbie’sface

thismorning.”

“Welcometomylife.”Hesmirked,histurquoiseeyesglintingenticingly.

Lord,Ihopeditwasn’t.

“Comeon,Ellie.”Imotionedforhertofollowme.“Justlook,okay?Don’ttouch.”

“Okay,Kawi.Notouching.”

“That’sright.”Ifoughtthesmileashertinystompsfollowedmeupthestairs.“See?

It’snotgreat.Justthepaperfromthewalls.”

Shesighedheavily.“Ifortyoumightbedone.”

Ilaughed.“No,notyet.It’sgoingtotakeacoupleofweeks.”

“Howmanysweepsisthat?”

“Sweeps?”

“Yeah.Sweeps.”Sheputherhandstogetherbetweenhershoulderandheadand

fake-snored.

“Ahhh.Sleeps.”Inodded,pickingmyscraperupinmyrighthandandmysponge

frommybucketintheleft.Isqueezed.“I’mnotsure.Sometimesitdoesn’tgorightsoit
takesabitlonger.CanItellyouwhenI’mnearlydone?”

Sheblinkedatme.“’Kay,butnottoowong,okay?”

“Okay.”

“Areyoudoingmywoomfirst?”

“I’mdoingbothyoursandEli’satthesametime.”

Shewrinkledupherface,causinghernosetocrinkleinthemostadorableway.“I

wantminefirst.”

IpressedmyspongeagainstthewallandputitbackinthebucketbeforeIscraped

thepaper.“Sorry,Ellie.It’sfairifIdothematthesametime.Besides,Ineedtoletyour
wallsdrybeforeIcangetthemreadytopaint.It’salotofwork,soit’seasierifIshareit.”

Shesniffed.“Whatareyoudoingwightnow?”

“Gettingridofthisoldpaper.See?”Ipulledthescraperawayandtooktheedgeof

thedamppaperbetweenmyfingers.Ipulleditdown,tearingitawayfromthewalland
dumpingitontothefloor.

“Wow,”shewhispered.“CanIhadago?”

Thewayshespokekilledme.“Atpullingthepaper?”

“Allofit.”

Ishookmyhead.“Thescraperissharp.Comesee.”Ibenttoonekneeandheldit

up.“Muchtoosharpforlittlegirls.Whydon’tyouhaveagowiththesponge,I’llscrape,
thenI’llletyouripsomepaperoff?”

Sheclaspedherhandsinfrontofherbody,swayed,andlookedaway.

Contemplationcrossedhertinyfeaturesbeforeshegrabbedherdress.“Mydwessmight
getdirty.”

Theprincessroommadealotofsense.

“Nope.Andifyou’recareful,itwon’tevengetwet.”

“Areyousure?”

“Sureassurecanbe.”

Shesighed.“Okay,butifmydwessgetswetordirty,I’mtellingDaddy.”

“Ican’targuewiththat.Grabthesponge,”Iinstructed.“Andsqueezeitreally,

reallyhard.”

Ellieliftedthespongeashighasshecouldandsqueezed.

Watersplashed.

Everywhere.

Shesquealedasitsplattedherdress.

“Okay,notthathigh.”Iloweredherhands.“Rightthere.It’sokay,it’sjustwater.

It’lldry.”

Shelookedatmedubiously,buttriedagain,albeitwithafewscathinglooksatthe

wetspotsonherveryprettydress.“Likethis?”

“Yes!”Ismiledasshesqueezedthesponge’sexcesswateroutacoupleinches

abovethebucket.“Now,rubthisbitofwallhereandgetthepaperwet.Youmighthaveto
doitacoupletimes.”

Shescootedover.

Shekickedthebucket.

Ijustcaughtitbeforeitsplashedeverywhere—notthatitsavedmybootedfeet,of

course.

Awesome.Inowhadtospendtherestofthedaywithwetshoesandwetboots.

“I’msowwy!”Ellielookedatmewithwideeyes.“Ididn’tseeit!”

ReasonnumbertwoIdislikedkids.Theydidn’t“see”anything.

“It’sokay,”Isaid,movingthebrightredbucketoutofthetinytornado’spathof

destruction.“It’sjustwater,right?Youshouldwashthewallnowbeforethespongegets
toodry,okay?”

“Okay.Here?”

“Rightthere.”

Elliewipedthespongeacrossthewallafewtimes.“Wetenuss?”

Itouchedmyfingertipstoit.Onlyjust.“Perfect,”Isaidtoher.

Shegrinned.

“Fingersouttheway,”Iinstructed.“Justincase.”

Sheheldherarmsaboveherhead…Anddroppedthespongeintothebucket.Water

splatteredupmyleg,butIignoreditandscrapedthedamppaperdownthewalluntilit
wasbigenoughforhertograb.

“Okay,now,grabit.”Igentlyhelditout.

Shepincheditwithherfingerandthumb.Slowly,shepulled,leaningbackwardsas

sherippedthepaperfromthewall.

“Careful.You’regoingto—”

Thud.

Shehitthegroundwithherfullweight,herbuttslammingintothefloorandrocking

thealready-unsafefloorboard.Shestaredupatmewithwideeyes,thebitofwallpaper
tuckedsafelyinthepalmofherhand.

Footstepsthunderedupthestairs.

“Whatthe—”Brantleystormedintotheroom,stoppinginthedoorway,gripping

eitherside,andstaringatusbothbeforehisgazehomedinonEllie.“Ellie!”

“Look,Daddy!Ihelping!”Shegrinnedandheldupthebitofwallpaper.“Kawisaid

Icouldpullthepaperofft!”

Heblinkedather—againandagain.Finally,heturnedhisgazetome.Itwasn’t

angryorannoyed,just…mildlyamusedandcurious.

“Shewantedtopullthepaperoff.Itriedtotellhershe’dfall,thenshefell.Shetore

italittletoofast.”Ipinchedtwofingerstogether.

Hesighed,runninghishandthroughhishair.“Damn,”hebreathed.“Thatgirl.I

swear.”

“Areyouangwy?”Elliewhispered.

“No,princess.No.”Brantleycameovertoherandcroucheddown,kissingthetop

ofherhead.“Iheardabangandgotscared.Maybeyoushouldcomedownforasnackand
letKalifinishherworknow.”

“WhatifKawi’shungry?”

“Ihavealunchdatewithmybestfriend,”Ireassuredher.“Don’tworry.I’llgofor

anhourthenI’llberightback.”

Ellielookedatme.“CanIhelpyouaster?”

IlookedtoBrantleyforconfirmation.Iwasn’tafanoftheidea,butifsheagreedto

pullthepaperslowlyandcarefully,Icouldn’tsayno.

“Paperonly,”hesaidtoher.“AndyoudoexactlywhatKalisays.”

Inoddedtoagree.

“AndyoueatyourfruitsnackandallyourlunchupbeforeIsayyes,”Brantley

agreed,slidingherhairbehindherear.“Isthatadeal?”

Elliesighedheavilybeforeholdingoutherlittlehand.“That’sadeal.”

ChapterFive

AndthatwashowIendedupwithtwohelpersonTuesdaymorning.

Apparently,justtakingonetwinwasn’tenough.ThankstoEllie’shelpyesterday,

I’dbarelygottenthroughherroom,nevermindstartingEli’sthewayI’dplannedto.

However,todaywasanewday,andthatnewdayinvolvedBrantleyjoiningmewith

ascraperandspongewhilethekidsusedtheirfaceclothsandplastic,toykniveshe’ddug
outofoneofthemountainsofboxes.

Itwasawkward.Ididn’tenjoyhavinghelpwhenIwasworkingunlessitwas

someoneinthebusinessormydad,butitwasevenworsewhentheguyhelpingmewas
ashotasBrantley.

AllthehotguysIknew,I’dknownforyears.Wewerefriends,andasidefrom

misplacedteenagecrushesandafew—ahem—slightlyinappropriateadultfantasiesI’d
sincegrownoutof,Icouldn’tseethemthatwayanymore.Ourrelationshipwasmostly
businessnow,anditwasprettyobviousthatmydatinglifewasseverelylackinginthehot
guydepartment.

Well,thedecenthotguydepartment.

Nottomentionwehadnothingtotalkabout.Ididn’tknowadamnthingabouthim,

andaftermyfoot-in-mouthmomentyesterday,Iwasafraidtoask.

Honestly,I’dprobablymeantosay,“Howareyou?”anditwouldcomeout,“How

bigisyourcock?”

That’sjustthewayitwasforme.

Anditwasn’ttheleastbitappropriatewiththetinypeopleontheothersideofthe

room.Whoweremakingabsolutelynoprogresswiththeirpaperscraping.Butthenthey
wereusingbrightpinkandblueplasticknives,sowhatdidIexpect?

“So,”Brantleysaid,breakingtheagonizinglyawkwardsilencethathadlingered

betweenusforalmostanhour.“Whatmadeyougointobuilding?Handywork?Whatdo
youcallit?”

“Handywork,generally,becausewedoabitofeverything.”Ipeeledalongstripoff

paperoffthewall.

God,itwassosatisfying.Almostcomparabletoanorgasm.

Jesus.Ineededtogetlaid.Oralife.

PreferablyalifeinwhichIgotlaid.Regularly.

“Interesting.Yourdadisacarpenter?”

Inodded.“Helovesitall,butthat’shistruepassion.He’sthereasonIdothis.”

“It’sdifferent,don’tyouthink?I’venevermetanywomanwhowantedtogointo

thisfield.”

“Differentisawordforit,”Isaidslowly.“Idon’tthinkit’sthecareerIchose.More

inthatitchoseme,andIfellinlovewithitasayounggirl.Now,Icouldn’timaginedoing
anythingelse.Idon’tthinkIcoulddoanythingelse.”

“Really?Youwouldn’tdoanythingelse?”

“I’mgonnabeasuperhewo,”Elisaid,knockingtheknifeagainstthewall.

Ellieblewaraspberry.“Youcan’tfwy,”shesaidinthatwayonlyfour-year-oldscan

—sarcasmandsasswrappedupininnocence.“Superhewoshavetofwy.”

“Nottrue,”Brantleyreplied.“Mostofthemcan’tactuallyfly.”

Eligrinned.“IneedacapeandthenIcan!”

“Capesdon’tmakeyoufwy!”Ellieshouted,pointingherplasticknifeathim.

“Magicmakesyoufwy!”

“Superhewosaren’tmagic!They’resuper!”

Well.Thatwasagoodargument.

“Superhewosarestupid,”Elliecarriedon.“Whowantstobebeatenupbybad

guys?Youshouldbeapwincessinstead.”

Eliwrinkledhisfaceupasiftheideawascompletelydisgusting.“Onlygirlsare

pwincesses!”

“ThenI’llbeapwincessandyoucan’tcomeinmycastle!”

“I’lldestroyyourcastle!”

“Okay!”Brantleyputdownhisscraperandsteppedbetweenthem,thencrouched

down.“Ellie,ifyouwanttobeaprincess,beaprincess.Butit’sonlynicetoletyour
brotherinyourcastle,okay?AndEli—ifyoudestroyhercastle,thatmakesyouasuper-
villain,notasuper-hero.”

Elifrowned.

“You’llbeLokiandnotThor.”

“Idon’twannabeWoki,”hesaidinasmallvoice.“Ewwie,ifyouwetmeinyour

castle,Iwon’tbreakit.”

Ellienarrowedhereyes.“Willyousavemycastlefromsuper-viw—super…bad

people?”

Brantleyfoughtasmile.

“Onlyifyouhavecandy.”

“Okay.Ihavecandy.”

“Shakehands,”Brantleyordered.“Thenit’sthelaw.”

Iraisedmyeyebrows.Thelaw?Wasn’tthatslightlyextreme?

Theirlittlehandsmetinthemiddleandtheyshookthreetimes.

“Dotheyevernotfight?”Iaskedwhenherejoinedme.

Heopenedhismouthtoanswer,thenpaused,lookingfromthetwinstome,clearly

consideringhisanswer.“Idon’tknow…It’sbeenalongtimesincewehadadaywithout
fighting.They’resosimilar,Idon’tthinktheyknowhownottodisagree.”

Thatmadesense.“Well,Ihavetoadmitthat’sthestrangestargumentI’veeverbeen

privyto.”

Hedippedhisheadashepickeduphisscraperandlaughedquietly.“Don’tputyour

expectationssolow.There’severychanceyou’llhearsomethingwayweirderthanthat
beforeyou’redonehere.”

“Really?”

Helookedmedeadintheeyeandsaid,“Lastnight,afterbathtime,wehadan

argumentoverwhohasthebestgenitals.”

Iblinkedathim.“Thebest…genitals,”Iechoed.

Whatthehell?

“Eliinsisteditwashisbecausehecanplaywithit.Itoldhimwe’drevisitthis

conversationintenyears.”

Isnorted,quicklyclappingmyhandovermymouthtodisguisethedreadfulnoise.

Brantleyhadcaughtit,though,andheflashedmeaquicksmirk,histurquoiseeyes

shiningwithmirth.Then,heturnedaway,backtothewallhe’dbeenworkingon.

Mystomachflippedcompletelyinappropriatelyatthebriefeyecontactwe’dhad

then.

Iswallowedhadandfocusedbackonmywork.

Thesoonerthisroomwasdone,thesoonerIgotmyspaceback.

***

Hourslater,allthepaperwasoff,andthefirstcoatofbasepaintwasonEllie’s

room.Anobnoxiousshadeofgreenhadbeenthepaintbeneaththepaper—yellowandred
inEli’sroom—anditwasgoingtotakeseveralcoatsofwhitejusttocoveritup.

Ihadn’tbeenanticipatingthat.Andthatlittledetailhadscrewedwithmyplan,

becauseIneededatleastonemoredaytogetthatdone,whichpushedbackmytimeline
byprobablytwoorthree.Therewasn’tachanceinhellIwasputtingthatfloorinuntilthe
wallsweredone,done,done.

IyawnedasIdumpedmystuffinthebackofmytruck.I’dleftthepaintandroller

aftercleaningitinthebathroom,becauseIknewthatwouldbemydaytomorrow:
paintingandmorepainting.

WhatIneededrightnowwasahotshower.Myshoulderskilledfromallthe

scrapingandholdingmyarmsabovemyhead,andmyneckwasachingfromit,too.

Andanap.God,Ineededanap.Orthree…orfour…

ThemostterrifyingthingaboutthiswasthefactIkeptwondering…WouldIhaveto

battlethekidsallthetime?OrdidBrantleyhearmysilentquestionstokeepthemaway?
Soonenough,I’dbedoingmoreworkandbringingotherpeopleintofitthefloorsanddo
theelectrics.Ihadmyfriend,Eric,cominginonWednesdaytolookovertheelectricsof
theirrooms.

Withanyluck,he’dkeepthemoutoftheway.

Ihadaburningquestion:Whatthehellwashedoinghere,inRockBay?

Iknewhiswifedied,butwasthatenoughofareasontomovehere?Coloradoto

Californiawasn’texactlytheothersideofthecountry,butitwasfarenoughfromhis
family,whomIpresumedstilllivedinDenver.

Ihadnoplacewonderingit.Itwasnoneofmybusiness,butIhadabigissuewhen

itcametowhatwasmybusinessandwhatwasn’t.Moretothepoint:Ididn’tcare.Iwas
likeadogwithabonewhentherewasinformationtobehad,andIblamedthatonliving
insuchasmalltown.

Ialwayskneweverythingabouteverybody,sowhenIwasfacedwithasituation

whereIdidn’t…Ididn’tlikeitmuch.

Infact,Iwaskindatwitchyaboutit.

Brushitoff,Itoldmyself.Forgetaboutit.Itreally,reallywasnoneofmybusiness.

ItappedmyfingersagainstthesteeringwheelasIpulledintomydriveway.I

pushedthestickintoneutralandkilledtheenginewithatwistofthekey.Theechoofmy
keyringsastheyjingledthroughthecabofthetruck,andIsighed,sittingbackinmyseat.

Afterstaringatthesideofmyhouseforamoment,Ipulledmycelloutofmy

pocketandtextedJayda.

Me:Areyouatwork?

Jayda:Abouttostart.Got5.What’sup?

Me:TellmethatHotDad’sreasonsformovingherearenoneofmybusiness.

Jayda:HotDad’sreasonsformovingherearenoneofyourbusiness

Me:THANKYOU

Jayda:Buttheyaremybusiness

Me:Itakeitback

Jayda:WhydidHotDadmovehere?

Me:Idk.That’sthepoint

Jayda:Findout

Me:You’resupposedtobemakingsureIDON’T

Jayda:It’sHotDadorMr.KinkySub’s

Me:Don’teven

Jayda:IknowyourMatchPluspassword

Me:You’reabitch

Jayda:*devilemojis*

Ugh.

Ilockedmyphone,refusingtoreply,andhoppedoutofmytruck.Thiswasn’twhat

Isignedup.HadJaydaevenseenhim,orwassheoperatingsolelyontheRockBay
GossipVine?

Wait—no.Iknewtheanswertothat.She’dprobablybeengroceryshoppinganhour

afterhimandnowshewasafuckingexpertintheHotDad.

Damnmylife,Ineededtostopcallinghimthat.Itwasn’tgoingtohelpthe

awkwardnessIfeltaroundhim.

Ididn’tknowahotguythatwasn’tmyfriend.AndIabsolutelyhadnotimeinmy

lifeforsomeonewithchildren.

Hadn’tIjustturneddownaguyonthedatingsitebecausehehadakid?

Yes.Yes,Ihad.Iwasshallowandselfish,andIwasokaywiththat.Ididn’tpicture

mylifewithkidsinit.Iwasthepersonwho,whenasked,“Whenareyouhavingkids?”
said,“Never.Idon’twantthem.”

Atleast,notrightnow.Maybethatwouldchangeinthefuture,butrightnow,inthe

placeIwasinmylife,Iwashappywithmychoice.JaydawasdesperatetomeetMr.Right
andsettledown,butallIwantedwasMr.Oh-Right-Thereunlesshedidn’twantkids
either.

Iwasweird,andIwasokaywiththat.AtleastaccordingtoeveryoneinRockBayI

wasweird.

ButIwasahandywoman,soIwasautomaticallyweirdintheireyes.

Iletmyselfintomyhouse,dumpedmykeysonthesidetable,watchinglamelyas

theyslidoverthebackofthetableandontothefloorwithaclink.

“Whatever,”Imutteredtomyself,leavingthemthereuntilIhadtolockthedoor

later.

ThiswasRockBay.Theclosestthingtorobberythathadeverhappenedherewas

whenMr.Jenkinsforgothispants—outerandunder—andrandownthemiddleofMain
Streetwithhismanhoodswingingsidetoside.

Whatwasstolen?

Myeyesight.Albeitbriefly.

Actually,nowIthoughaboutit,Ididn’tthinkI’dbeenabletolookhimintheeye

fortwoyears.

Maybethatwasforthebest.

Ipulledwaterfrommyfridgeandstaredatthebottlebeforeopeningit.Iwastoo

tiredtoevendothat.Theworkhadbeenmorerigorous,mostlythankstothetwins’major
failatgettinganypaperatalloffthewallsandBrantleyhavingtofinallyleavemealone
togetitdone.

Brantley.

Turquoiseeyesflashedinmymind.

Ishookoffthethoughtandswiggedtheice-coldwater.BythetimeIswallowedit,

thememoryofhiseyeshaddisappeared,andImadetheexecutivedecisionintheLifeof
Kalitoorderpizzafromthelocalpizzaplace.

Tenminuteslater,Iwasonmysofainyogapants.Discardingthewaterforwine—

I’dgiveJesusarunforhismoneyifIdidn’thavetousemyfridgetochangeit—Iputmy
achyfeetonmycoffeetableandleanedrightbackagainstthebackcushions.

WithFriendsseasonfiveonmyTV,Isetmyphoneonmylapandtappedthedating

site’sapp.

Thatwasmyfirstmistake.

Mysecondwasreadingmymessages.

Thefirstwasokay—cringey,butnotbad,asfarasitwent.

Thesecond?

“Hot,hornycuckoldforyouandyourdompartner.Willletyouchainmetoyour

floorwhilehefucksyouandpretendsI’myourboyfriend.”

Ihitdeletebeforemyfacehadwrinkledindisgust.

Yep.

ThatwasenoughMatchPlusfortonight.

Maybemyentireweek.

ChapterSix

TwodayspassedwithoutmeseeingeitherBrantleyorthetwins.Bythetime

Thursdaylunchtimerolledaround,I’dfinishedthebasecoatonEllie’sroomandwas
abouttostartthefinaltwocoatsinEli’sroom.EricwasinEllie’sroommeasuringher
floorandweighingupwhatheneededtodotofixitup.

“Kali?”HepokedhisheadinEli’sroom,hisdark-blondhairswishinginfrontof

hiseyes.“Ihavealunchmeeting.DoyoumindifIcomebackwhenI’mdone?”

Iputdownthepaintcanandlookedathimwithasmile.“That’sfine.You’re

workingonyourtime,notmine.”Iwinkedathim.“I’djustlikeEli’sfloordonesoIknow
whenIneedtofinishpainting.”

Heheldhishandsup.“Don’tworry,babe.I’vegotyoucovered.Itdoesn’ttakeme

halfaslongasittakesyoutofigureoutsomeflooring.”

“DoIlooklikeflooringismyexpertise?”

“No.”Hegrinnedlopsidedly.“Plentyofotherthings,though…”

Ithrewmycleaningragathim.Hecaughtitwithoneswiftmovementandtossedit

backtome.

“Don’tmakemetellmydaddyonyou,”Iwarnedhim.

“Yourdaddywouldmarryyouofftomeinaheartbeat.”

“Aslongasyoucouldabstainforsixmonthswithoutsexwithotherrandom

women.”

Hepaused.“Pointwellmade.Seeyouinninetyminutes?”

Ha.

Irolledmyeyes.“Seeyouthen,Eric.Comealone,won’tyou?”

“Ican’tpromiseI’llcomealone,butI’llsureshowupalone.”Hetossedmeawink

beforeheheadedoutofthedoor.

Somuchforthatbusinessmeeting.

Ishookmyheadanddippedthepaintbrushinthepaintandbeganthearduoustask

ofedgingaroundthebaseboardsbetweenthewallandfloor.Itwastheworstjob,andnot
oneIcouldscrewupevennow.Ihadtopaintthebaseboardseventually,andcleaning
themupwasnojoke.ThelesspaintIcouldgetonthemnow,thebetter.

I’dbarelytouchedbrushtowallwhenIheardthesoundofthedooropeningand

muffledvoicesdownstairs.SinceErichadn’tleftyet,ithadtobeEricandBrantley.

Crap.IhopedBrantleydidn’tmindI’dhadhimherewithouttellinghim.In

fairness,hewashappytoletmegetonwithit.AndbygetonwithitImeantnavigate
boxesuntilIreachedthetwins’rooms.

Imademyselffocusontheedgingabovethebaseboardsbeforethedoorshut

again.Silencereignedforafewmomentsbeforefootstepssoundedonthestairs.Itwas
suspiciouslyquietforthemiddleoftheday.

Wherewasthesquabblingofthekids?Whyweren’ttheyyellingateachother?

ThatwastheirM.O.,afterall.

“Hey,”Brantley’svoicecamefromthedoorway.“Howareyoudoing?”

Ishiftedfrommykneestomyassandlookedoverathim.Damnit,helookedgood

inawhitepoloshirtandlight,rippedjeans.“Hey—good.You?”

“Good.”Hepaused,pursingthosefulllipsofhis.“Shit,it’squiet.”

“Thatwasmynextquestion,”Isaidteasingly.“Didyouleavetheminthecandy

aisleatIrma’sstore?”

Helaughed,adeep,richsoundthatsentgoosebumpsupmybarelegs.“No.I’m

sureshewouldn’tappreciatethat.”

“Idon’tknow.It’dgiveMr.Picklessomethingelsetochasethancustomers’

ankles.”

“Mr—oh,thatcat.”

“Ah,you’vemetthetown’sresidentsweetheart.”

Anotherlaugh.“Fortunately,Iwaswearingjeans.Protectedmyselfwell.”

“Smart,”Iagreed.“Wherearethetwins,ifnotterrorizingMr.Pickles?”

“Trialafternoonatdaycare,”hesaidslowly.“NopreschoolinRockBay

apparently.”

Ishookmyhead.“NothinguntilKindergarten.Notenoughkidsinthearea.Are

theyatSummer’s?”

“Howdoyou—nevermind.Smalltown.”Hislipsquirked.“Wouldyoubelieveshe

kneweverythingaboutmebeforeI’devenwalkedthroughthedoor?”

Idraggedmylowerlipbetweenmyteeth,grinning.

Hiseyesflickereddown.

Ithink.

Damn,I’dbeenlookingatplainwallsfortoolong.

“Absolutely.Halfthetownprobablyknowyoursecuritynumberandbirthweight

bynow.”

Hiseyeswidened,makingtheturquoisehueofhisirisesseemtentimesbrighter.

“Seriously?”

Theshockthatsaddledhisexpressionmademegiggle.“No.I’mmessingwithyou.

Butdon’tputitpastIrma…OrMarcieattheCoastal.”

Herelaxed,shouldersslumping,buthelaughedlightlyatthementionofMarcie.

“Ah,yes.Wejustmetforthefirsttime.Isawshedidtake-outlunchonmywayoutof

Summer’splace,andstoppedin.”

“Mycondolences,”Ioffered.“It’salwaysstressfultomeetMarcieforthefirsttime.

SoIhear.Andseewhenshedealswithpeople’sunrulydates.”

“Unrulydates?”Hequirkedadarkeyebrow.“Experiencewiththat?”

Iheldupahandandflutteredmyeyesshut.“Don’t.Just,don’t.”

Helaughed.“Storyforanothertime,right?”

“Sure,ifby‘anothertime’youmeannever.”

Alopsided,half-grintookoverhisface,makinghiseyessparkle.“Sheheardyou’re

workingforme—butyou’renotsurprisedatthat,areyou?”

“Aboutassurprisedasifyoutoldmethetemperatureoutsidefeelslikewe’re

halfwayupSatan’sass.”

Thatgrinturnedintoanotherboutoflaughter.Goosebumpstripledinquantityatthe

soundastheytookovermyarms.God,Iwouldn’tlookcolderifIwerenakedinthe
Arctic.

“Well,shegavemetwicetheamountoffoodsheshouldhave,andorderedmeto

makesureyouwerewellfed.Apparently,she’sabletomakemewishIwasneverbornifI
don’t.”

“She’sfeisty.”

“Nokidding.Thanksforthewarning.”

“WritemealistoftheplacesyouneedtogonextandI’llgiveyoutherundown.”I

grinned.

“I’llmakesureIdo.”Hefoldedhisarmsacrosshischest.“So,Ihavelunchforyou

downstairs.Itbeatseatingalone.Caretojoinme?”

Iglancedoverhimquickly.

I’dhadworseoffers—anddates,lately.Notthatthiswasadate.No,thiswasMar—

Shitthebed.Sheknewwhatshewasdoinghere.

IwasgoingtokickherassnexttimeIsawher.

Justnottoohard.‘Cause,youknow.Shesavedmyassmoretimesthansheneeded

herskicked.

“Letmefinishupthisedging,thenI’llmeetyoudownstairs,”Isaid.“Isthatokay?”

Henodded.“Shesaidit’syourfavorite.”

“Ohmygod,shemadeherpasta?”

“Iaskedherwhatwasthebest,andshesaidthepastayoulove.”

Ibittheinsideofmycheek.“IsitunprofessionalifIsayscrewit,I’llfinishthis

afterpasta?”

Asmilecreptbackontohisface.“Iwon’ttellifyoudon’t.Takeitasmyapology

formykidsterrorizingyouatthestartoftheweek.”

“Iwouldn’tsaytheyterrorizedme,”Isaidslowly,layingmybrushonthesideof

therollertray.IsetthelidonthepaintcanandpusheditinjustenoughI’dbeabletopop
itoffagainwithouttrouble.

“You’retoonice.”Hiseyestwinkled.“Youcansayithowitis—Iwon’tbe

offended.Fuckknowstheyterrorizemeatsevena.m.everyday.”

“I’mmaintainingmystance,”Ireplied,tryingnottomeethiseyes,becauseIknew

I’dgetbutterfliesifIdid.

Therewassomethingaboutthewayhisdamneyessparkled.

“It’sbestifIfinishthisedging.”Ipickedthebrushbackup.“I’llbedowninafew

minutes.Idon’thavemuchleftonthiswall.”

HeglancedatthewallandwhereIwassitting.“Soundsgood.Ihavesomeworkto

handle—I’llkeepitwarm.”

“Youdon’thavetowaitforme.”

“Kali,”hesaid,smirking.“BythetimeIgetstuckintomyemail,you’lltheone

waiting.”

“Wow.Youknowhowtocharmalady.”

Helaughed.“Comedownwhenyou’reready.”Heturnedaway,givingmeanother

viewofthattightassofhis.

Isighed,turningbacktothewall.

Damn,thatass.

***

Twentyminuteslater,Imademywaydownstairs.

Brantleysatatthekitchentable,hisphonewedgedbetweenhisearandhis

shoulder,typingathiscomputer.“Yes,wellIcan’tdealwiththiscurrently.Ihaven’tyet
beentotheofficehere…Istillhaveaweek…Iunderstandthat,but—”Heglancedatme.
“Yes,sir.Understood.Canwecontinuethis?Ihaveaprivateappointmentrightnow…
Yes.Goodbye.”

Hepulledthephonefromitsperch,tappedthescreenandplaceditface-downon

thetable.Offeringmeatightsmile,heclosedthelaptopandpointedtothemicrowave.
“Sixtysecondsandit’llbeperfect.”

Iraisedmyeyebrows.“DidIinterruptanimportantcall?”

Hisnostrilsflaredasheinhaled,butheshookhishead.“Mybosstryingtogetme

backtoworkatmynewofficebeforeI’mableto.Theofficemanagedbeforeme,theycan
waitafewmoredaysuntilIcangetthere.”

“Thetwins?”Iaskedsoftly.

Hehitthebuttononthemicrowave.Thelightcameonwiththewhirrofthe

machine,revealingtwoofMarcie’spotsofpasta.“Yep.Itriedtosourceanannyaround
herebeforeImoved,butthatwassurprisinglydifficult.”

“Yeah,thereisn’talothere.”Islidintoaseatatthetable.

“Letmeguess,”hesaid,amusementtinginghistone.“There’snotamarketforit.”

“Ohmygod,howdidyouknow?”

Heglancedoverhisshoulder,darkhairalmostflippingintohiseyes,andsmirked.

“Luckyguess.”

Ilaughed,restingmychinonmyhand.Thetablewashardonmyelbow.“Summer

iswhowealluse.Itwashermombeforeher,andIthinkhermombeforeher.”

“IsthereanythinginRockBaythatisn’tafamilybusiness?”Brantleypulledthe

twotraysoutcarefully.Hespilledthepastaontotwoplatesbeforesettingtheminfrontof
mewithcutlery.

“Thankyou.”Iflashedhimthehintofasmile.“Actually,that’sagreatquestion.I

basicallytookaftermydadbecauseIdidn’thavemuchchoice.Ithinkthesamewasfor
Summer—herdadworkedalotsoshewasalwayswithhermom,thenworkedforher
whenshegotolder.Hmm.”Istabbedmyforkintosomepasta.“HaveyoubeentoCorkys?
TheIrishBar?”

“No.Ican’tsaythat’saplaceI’dlikethetwinstoexplore.”

“Becauseit’sabarorbecausethey’dterrorizeit?”

“BecauseIliketodrinkinpeace,”herepliedwryly,asmilematchinghistone

stretchingacrosshistone.

IfoughtnottosnortasIateandlaughedatthesametime.“Well,Corkysisn’t.

Paddy—nothisrealname,bytheway—openeditaboutfiveyearsago.Gotpissedoff
withallthefakeIrishintheNorth-East,apparently.”

“IthoughttheywererealIrish.”Brantleypaused.“Andisn’tthatironicgivenhis

fakename?”

“Kinda,buthe’sactuallyIrish.Accentandeverything.”

“Fairenough.Whatabouttheotherbusinessesintown?”

IateasIthought.“There’sDelia’sDiner.She’smoreontheroadoutoftown,but

stilltechnicallyinRockBay.HergrandmawasDelia,hermomDelilah,andherDella.”

“Iseethepatternthere.”

Irolledmyeyes.“It’sliketheKardashiansheardofthemandtriedtoout-name

them.”

“IcanhonestlysayIcouldn’tgivearatsassaboutthatfamily.”

“Youshouldtryit.It’sagreatstressreliever,becauseaslongasyouwatch,you

knowyourlifewillneverbeasmuchofatrainwreckastheirs.”

Brantleylaughed,sippingsomewater.“I’llrememberthat.Sorry—didyouwanta

drink?I’mnotusedtoguestswhodon’tdemandeverythinginsight.”

“I’mfine.”Mylipstwisted.“Anyoneelseintownyouwanttoknowabout?That

mightbeeasier.”

Heinclinedhisheadtome,eyestwinkling.“Mrs.SimpsonatthePostOffice.”

“Ah!Familybusinessthere,too.NobodybutaSimpsonhasrunthatofficefora

hundredyears.”

“Seriously?”

“AskMr.Ibetgeratthelibrary.”

Brantleyfinishedhislunchand,pushingittotheside,wipedathismouthwithhis

thumb.“Ihavenointentionofgoingnearalibrary,withorwithoutmykids.”

“Shame.HeknowseverythingthereistoknowaboutRockBay.”

“Areyousayingyoudon’twanttotellmeeverythingaboutthistown?”

Istilled.WhenImethiseyes,thenow-strangely-familiartwinkleofamusement

shinedbackatme.

Hewasteasingme.

Theshit.

“Absolutely,”Ianswered.“Thisconversationispositivelydreadful.Infact,if

Slughorn’shourglasswassittingbetweenus,it’dbemovingslowerthanasloth.”

“YetthesandwillstillfallquickerthanwhenIarguewithmykidsaboutthebenefit

ofdrinkingwateroverapplejuice.”

Oh.HejustPotteredme.

Sigh.

“Wellplayed,”Ireplied.Then,Isighed.“That’sreallyafightyouhave?”

“You’renotaroundkidsmuch,areyou?”Hesmirked.“It’sadailyconversation.I

couldrecordmyresponsesandshowerwhiletheargumenthappensatthispoint.”

“See—that’swhyI’mnotaroundkidsmuch.”Iputdownmyforkandwipedmy

mouthwithanapkinfromthecenterofthetable.“Thankyouforbringingbacklunch.”

Hehelduphishands.“ThankMarcie.Idon’tthinkIhadasayinthematter.”

“You’llfindyougenerallydon’twhereshe’sconcerned.Don’tworry.You’llget

usedtoit.”Istoodandpickedupmyplate.“Ineedtogetbacktoworknow.”

“Letmetakeit.”Hischairscrapedalongthefloorwhenhegotup.“Here.”Hetook

theplatefrommeandsetitnexttothesink.“Bytheway,Kali?”

“Yeah?”Ipaused,onefootinfrontoftheother.

“You’vegotalittle…”Hemotionedtohischeek.“Sauce.Onpaint.Righthere.”

Frowning,Irubbedatmycheek.

“No.Shit.Theothercheek.”Hetappedhisleftone.

Irubbedthere,too,butheshookhishead,clearlyfightingasmileifthetwitchingof

hislipswasanythingtogoby.

“No,holdon.”Heswipedanapkinandmovedtowardme.Mybreathhitchedwhen

hestoppedrightinfrontofme,justinchesfromme.Hissteadyhandheldthenapkin,and
myeyesfolloweditspathasitcamecloserandclosertomycheek.

Gently,hewipedovermycheek,rightbymyear.Hisgazeglancedtowardminefor

asecond.Onethatwassomehowlongenoughtomakemyheartstutter.

“Well,”hesaid,tiltinghisheadtogetabetterlook,“Igotthesauce.Ithinkthe

paintisdry.”

“Howdidthatevenhappen?I’mright-handed,”Imuttered,touchingmyfingersto

wherethenapkinhadjustbeen.

Lipscurved,hesteppedback,crumplingthepapertowelinhishand.“That’swhat

I’dliketoknow.”

“Letmeknowifyoueverfindout.”Imovedawayfromhim,closertothedoor.

“I’llbepainting.MaybeabitofdrillingtogetridofsomestuffinEli’swall.Letmeknow
ifIdisturbyou.”

Hewavedhishand,settinghisplateonthecounter.“Ifyoudisturbme,I’llgoout.I

canworkanywhere—youkindaneedtobehere.”

Overhisshoulder,heshotmeastomach-flippingsmilethatreachedhiseyes.One

thatmadehiseyesflashwithlaughter.Onethatputitselffirmlyinmy“MustResist”
book.

“Goodpoint.”

Heturned.

Oureyesmet.

Hewinked.

Me?

Ibasicallyranupthestairs.

ChapterSeven

“How’sitgoing?”Momputaboxofchocolatecookiesinhercart.Itlookedoutof

placeamongallthegreen,leafyvegthatshecurrentlyhadinthere.

Yes,Iwasgroceryshoppingwithmystepmother.Iwasguiltedintoitbymyfather

whoinsistedIputchipsinmycartthenputtheminhercar.HowhethoughtI’ddothat,I
didn’tknow.

“That’snotonyourdiet,”Ipointedout.

Shefluffedherhair.“Whatyourfatherdoesn’tknowandallthat.”

Igrabbedabagofhisfavoritechips.“Youknowthesearegoinginyourtrunk,don’t

you?”

“AndIshallpretendnottoknowwhenheunpacksthebags,”sherepliedsmoothly.

“That’smarriage,honey.Wepretendwedon’tknowthattheotherischeatingonour
agreedupondiet.”

Isnorted.“Ihopeweddingvowsarerewrittentoincludethat.”

“Youandwomeneverywhere.Now,tellmehowthisnewjobisgoing.IbelieveI

sawhiminthestoreyesterday.He’sveryhandsome,isn’the?”

“Ididn’tnotice,”Ilied,examiningthenutritionalvaluesofabagofCheetos.

Atleast,Ipretendedtoreadit.

Momsnatchedthebagoutofmyhand.“KaliHancock,don’tyoulietome.”

“I’mnot.”

“Yourearsareredderthanaboilinglobster.He’scute,huh?”

“He’salittleyoungforyou.”ItookbacktheCheetosanddumpedtheminmycart.

“Weallhavealittlecougarinus.”Shechuckled,grabbingabagforherself.

Wow.Talkaboutcheatingonthediet.

“One,ew.”Iwaggledmyfingerather.“Two,yes,okay,fine.He’shandsome.Are

youhappynow?”

“What’shedoinginRockBay?”

“Ah,well,thatIthinkIcananswer.”Ipaused.“Ikindaputmyfootinitthefirst

timewemet.”

Shemock-gasped.“Andyoudidn’ttellusatdinnerlastweek?”

“Ofcoursenot.YouweretoobusydroppinghintsatDadaboutyouranniversary.”

“Thanksfortheevening,bytheway.”

“You’rewelcome.Atleasthepaid.”

Shelaughed.“Alwaysabonus.Now,backtoBrantley.”

Iwasn’tevengoingtoaskhowsheknewhisname.Iwassurprisedshedidn’tknow

whyhewashere.“WeweretalkingafterI’dseentheroomsandIaskedhowheendedup
inRockBay.Hedoesn’thavefamilyhere,andhedoesn’thavearing,sonaturally…”

“Ohdear,Kali.”

“Ohdearisanicewaytoputit,”Iagreed.“Iputmyfootinmymouthandchewed

uptomydamnankle.Thetwins’momdiedtwoandahalfyearsago.”

“Poorthing,”shemurmured.“Andthosepoorbabies.Ishehereforafreshstart?”

Ishrugged.“Ididn’texactlycarryonthatlineofquestioning.IfiguredI’dscrewed

upenoughforonemeeting.Besides,it’snoneofmybusiness.”

“Doeshework?”

“Hementionedittoday.Somethingabouthisbosswantinghimtogoback.He’s

strugglingwithdaycareoptions.Ithinkhe’susedtohavinganannybackinDenver.”

“Hmm.”

Iside-eyedher.“What’sthatmean?”

“Ananny.Ifhecanaffordthatasasingleparent,hemustbequitefinancially

comfortable.”

“No.”Istoppedsmack-banginthemiddleoftheaisleandpointedmyfingerather.

“No,absolutelynot.Donotevengodownthatlineofthinking.”

Shegiggled,afake,tinklylaughticklingtheairbetweenus.“Whatlineofthinking,

honey?Iwouldn’tdare.”

“Work,Mom.It’sjustwork.Besides,IhaveadateonSaturdaynight.”

Shestoppedandjerkedherheadtowardme.“Youdo?”

“Yes.Iwasgivinguphopeafterabuilderaskedifwecouldhammersomethingelse

intothewall—”

“Ha!”shebarkedout.“That’sagoodone.”

Ishotherawitheringlook.“—WhenIgotanemailfromaperfectlyniceyoung

man—”

“Yousoundseventy.”

“—Whomightactuallybeworthtwohoursofmytime.”

Sherolledhereyes,carefullylayingeggsattheendofhercart.“Whateveryousay,

Kali.YouknowaswellasIdoyou’llrejecthim,too.Idon’tknowwhatyou’rewaiting
for,butunlessyouloweryourexpectations,Idoubtyou’lleverfindit.”

“What’sthepointofloweringmyexpectations?I’mworthmorethanthat.Lookat

me.Anyonewouldbeluckytohaveme.”

“Yourself-confidenceisadmirable,”sheadmitted.“Butyoushouldmakesureyou

don’thavepaintinyourhairbeforeyouproclaimthattotheworld.”

Istopped.Again.“Idon’thavepaintinmyhair…DoI?”

Momleanedoverandpickedaloosecurloutfrommylowponytail.“Righthere.”

Igrabbedthesamelockofhairandtuggeditintomyeyesight.

Damnit.Shewasright.Andthebright,whitepaintstoodoutlikeasoredamn

thumbagainstthedarknessofmyhair.

Sighing,Iflickeditbackovermyshoulder.“Well,Ican’tbeperfectallthetime.”

“Yep,”shesaidtoherself,grabbingabottleofwine.“You’reyourfather’sdaughter.

Nodoubtaboutit.”

Ismirkedatherback.

Really…Sheshouldn’thavebeensurprised.

Iwasn’t.

***

Fridaycameandwentwithoutfanfare.Ididn’tseeBrantleyatall.Thatwasn’tideal,

sinceI’dtakenoverorderingthefurnitureforhimtomakesureDadcouldmatchit,andit
wasallduefordeliverythenextday.

Aweekaheadofmyschedule.

Thehousewasstillcoveredinboxes,andIwasatotallossofwhattodo.Therewas

nowheretoputit,asfarasIknew.Ihadnoideawhatthegaragewaslikeoriftherewas
anyroomthere.Itwasobvioushiscross-countrymovehadbeendonebymovers,soIhad
noideahowmuchstufftherewasinthishouse.

Saturdaymorningdawnedbrightandearly.Tooearly.Mymomhadpliedmewith

herhomemadesangriaatfamilydinner,andonceagain,I’dmadebadchoices.

AtleastIdidn’thavesuchahugeheadache…Thistime.

Atextmessageatnine-thirtyalertedmetothefactthefurniturewouldbedelivered

inanhour.Thiswasatodds—surprise,surprise—withthethree-to-fivep.m.window
they’doriginallygivenmewhenthey’dtoldmeitwouldbedeliveredearly.

Becausewhynot?Ilovedgettingmywholeschedulescreweduptwice.

Ifilledmytake-outcoffeecupandtuggedupmyshorts.Itwashotashelloutside,

andIwasn’thappyabouthavingtoworktoday.I’dplannedtonotactuallydoathing
excepthelpDadwithEllie’sbed.

IsighedasIgotinmytruck.IdialedBrantley’snumberagain,butthecallrolled

overtovoicemailafterringing.

Awesome.Ilovedshowingupatclient’shousesunannounced.Unexpectedguests

wereaboutasenjoyableasaboutofhemorrhoids.

God,Iwaspessimisticthismorning.

Tenminuteslater,IpulledupoutsidetheCooperhouse.Hiscarwasinthedrive,

andmystomachrolledasIgotoutofthecar.

Ihopedthatwasbecauseoflastnight’ssangria.

Deargod,letitbethesangria.

IgrabbedmycoffeebeforeIshutthecardoorandwenttothefrontdoor.Itswung

openbeforeIcouldknock.

“Kawi!”Elliegrinned.“Hiya!”

“Ellie!”Brantleystalkedoutfromthekitchen,wearingnothingbutgraysweatpants,

slunglowonhiships.Hefiddledwithat-shirt,turningittherightwayaround.“What
haveItoldyou—Kali.Hi.”

Ifroze.

Jesus,wasthereapartofthismanthatwasn’tcompletelydelicious?

IblinkedseveraltimesasItookinthesightofhislean,tonedtorso.Perfectpecs,

lightlyshadedabs,adangerous‘v’thatteasedwaybelowthewaistbandofhissweats…

Hepulledonhist-shirt,coveringuphisbodyandforcingmetocomebacktothe

hereandnow.

“Hi,”Isaid,shakingmyselfoutofthedaze.“Sorry—Itriedtocall,butyoudidn’t

answerthephone.”

“Inside,”hesaidtoEllie,graspingherbytheshouldersanddirectinghertothefront

room.“Comein.Yeah,sorryaboutthat,”hesaid,gesturingformetofollowhiminside.
“Eliwasplayingagameonitthismorningandputitdownsomewheresafe,apparently.”

“Ah.”Isteppedinsideandclosedthedoor,thenwentwithhimtothekitchen.“I

havealotofsafeplaces.Notentirelysurewhereanyofthemare,though.”

Hesnorted,stirringinamug.“Ifyouwereafour-year-oldboywhohadtogive

backyourdad’sphone,wherewouldyouputit?”

Iblinked.“Wherealllostchangegoestodie.Downthebackofasofa.”

Brantleypaused,mid-stir.“Holdthatthought.”

Thespoonclinkedagainstthecountertopashedroppeditandwenttotheliving

room.Iwatchedhimgo,mygazedroppingtohisasstwotoomanytimesforittobe
appropriate.

Oh,whatever.Evenoncewasinappropriate,butstill.

Graysweatpants—sentfromthegodsfortheviewingpleasureofwomen

everywhere.

“You’reagenius,Kali.”Hereturned,phoneinhand.“Yougotalistofsafespaces

forfuturereference?”

Ilaughedandshookmyhead.“IfIhadalist,I’dknowwheretofindallthestuff

I’veputsomewheresa—damnit.IjustrememberedwhereIputmycreditcardbillsoI
wouldn’tloseit.”

Hislaughwasdeepandrich.“Whichis?”

“Myunderweardrawer.That’swhatIgetforbeinglazyandnotputtingthelaundry

away.”Isighedandleanedagainstthecounter.“Holdon,letmeemailmyselfthat.”

Morelaughter.“I’dofferyouacoffee,butIseeyoucameequipped.”HepausedasI

tuckedmyphoneaway.“Iwasn’texpectingyoutoday.”

“Well,Iwasn’texpectingtocomeeither,”Ireplied.“Butthefurnituredelivery

companyletmeknowthey’redeliveringtodayandnotnextweekasplanned.”

Heblewoutalongbreathandlookedaroundhelplessly.“Shit,”hewhispered.“I

havenoideawherethat’sgonnago.”

“Icalledthem,butit’salreadyonthetruckandit’sgonnabeherewithinthehour,

sotheyrefusedtoredeliver.”

“Didn’tyouspecificallypickthedatesoitcouldgorightupstairs?”

“Yeah…Uh,asasidenote,youshouldprobablygreetthemwhenitgetshere.Ithink

thedeliverynotemightbeawarningaboutthecrazy,angryladywhoorderedit.”Ibitthe
insideofmycheekwhenheraisedaquestioningeyebrow.“Offtheprofessionalrecord,
mymommighthavepliedmewithsangrialastnightandtheycontactedmeveryearly.”

Hestaredatme,turquoiseeyesshiningashislipscurvedintoanoh-so-sexysmile.

“Youdon’tlookhungover.”

“I’llwritetoSephoratothankthemfortheirflawlesscoverage.”

Hechuckledquietlyandshookhishead.“Allright—Ithinkwecandothis.Would

youjustgivemeahandinthegaragetomovesomestuffaroundtomakeroomforit?”

“Sure.Ipromise,I’llgetoutofyourhairassoonasit’sdeliveredandI’vechecked

itall.Itwon’ttakelong.”Ismiled.

Hehelduphishandsandbackedtowardthegaragedoor.“Don’tworry—Iplanto

donothingbuttrytogetthroughsomeoftheseboxes.Ifigureweshouldhavemorethan
onecupinthecupboardatthispoint.”

Thatwasahardfacttodisagreewith.“Youdogiveofftheimpressionyouplanto

leaveatanyminute.”

“Yes,well,aftermeetingthatdamnedcatatthegrocerystore,it’stempting.”

“Ah,you’vemadetheacquaintanceofMr.Prickles.”Isteppedintothegarage.

Fuck,itwaslikeasaunainhere.

Brantleywhackedaunitonthewall.Alightflashedanditwhirredtolife,instantly

shootingoutcoldair.“Damnthing,”hemuttered.“Prickles?IthoughtitwasPickles.”

“Itis.”Ismiled.“Pricklessuitshimbetter.”

Heliftedhissweatpantlegupandshowedmehisankle.Anangry,redscratch

decoratedit.“Nokidding.”

“Didyousteponhistail?”Iglancedatthescratchbeforemeetinghiseyesagain.

“No,Idaredtowalkinfrontofhim,”hesaiddryly.

“Ah.Yes,suchathingwillangerHisHighness.”

Hesnorted.“ItmightnothavebeenmyfinestmomentwhenItoldIrmathatifhe

scratchedmeagain,I’dkickhim.”

“Beenthere,donethat.”Inodded.“Accidentally,ofcourse.”

Hiseyestwinkled.“Ofcourse.”Weheldeyecontactforaminute—aminutethat

sentashiverdownmyspine.“Allright,”hesaid,breakingitandlookingaroundthefull
garage.“Ihavenoideawheretostart.”

Ipickedmywaybetweenboxes,goingupontomytiptoesandbalancingsoasnot

toknockoveraprecariouslybalancedstack.“Well,usuallyI’dbesnarkyandsaywe
shouldstartatthebeginning,buttheredoesn’tappeartobeone.Oramiddle.Oranend.”

Hislaughechoedoffthewalls.“You’renotwrong.Iwouldn’trecommendmoving

withtwins.Inhindsight,IwishI’dleftthemwithmyparentswhileImovedeverything
here.”

“Icanimagine.”Ismiledandstraightenedapileofboxes.“Okay.Let’sjustshift

somestuffaroundandseewhatroomwecanmake.”

“That’sexactlywhatIwashopingyou’dsay.Letmecheckonthetwins,thenI’ll

startatthisend.”

“Itissuspiciouslyquiet,”Isaidovermyshoulder.

“Exactly.”Brantley’slaughlingeredwhenhesteppedbackintothekitchen.

Ihadnoideahowhedidit.

Igotstartedonmovingtheboxes.Somewerelight,soIstackedthosefirst.They

werelabeledthemostrandomthings—towels,babyclothes,pillows,stuffedtoys.Itwas
chaos,toputitsimply.

Mindyou,ifIwerehim,it’dbechaos,too.Iguesskeepingtinyhumansalivewas

moreimportantthanunpackingstuff.

Ishiftedaboxagainstthewall,hittinganotherintheprocess.Ijustaboutmanaged

tograbitbeforeitfell,andsomethingclinkedinside.Thisonewasn’ttapedlikethe
others,andmyawkwardgraboftheboxhadthetopgapingopen.

Isetitdownontopofanother.Moreclinkingcamefrominsideit,andIpaused.

Apartofmewantedtocheckit,butatthesametime,itfeltlikeabitofaninvasion

oftheirprivacy.

Ipeeredovermyshoulder.Brantleywasstillinthehouse,soifIlookedquickly…

IopenedtheboxbeforeIcouldquestionmyself.Itwasfullofunwrappedphoto

framesandacoupleofvases.Pullingthevasesouttocheckoverthem,Idislodgedthe
frames.Onefellflatforwardwherethevaseshadbeen.

Iputthembothonthefloorandstraightenedtheframe.Then,Ipaused.Ayoung

womanwasinthephoto,clutchingtwobabiesinherarms.Ifeltnorecognitionatlooking
atherface,soIpulleditoutandlookedatitproperly.

Thebabiesweredressedinpinkandblue,andasIlookedoverthephoto,itdawned

onme.Thiswasthetwinsasbabies—withtheirmom.

Shewasbeautiful.Short,honey-blondhairshowedwherethetwinsgottheirnow-

golden-brownlocksfrom.Bigeyes,aroundface,lightfrecklesonhernose.

Yet,thetwinslookednothinglikeher.Exceptforthefrecklesandthetintintheir

hair,theywereboththedoubleofBrantley.

“Right,Icanhelpnow.Sorry.It’slikebeingarefereesometimes.”

Ijumped,droppingtheframe.Thankfully,itfellintotheboxandnotonthefloor.

“Areyouokay?”Brantleyasked,peeringoverthegarageatme.

“Yeah.I—”Istopped.“You,uh,youhavefrostingonyournose.Justhere.”I

rubbedthesideofmine.

“Shit.”Hewipedhishandoverhisface.“DidIgetit?”

Inodded.“ShouldIask?”

Hislipscurledtotheside.“BarbieandIronMangotmarried.Apparently,

Supermanstartedacakefight,andBatmantookoffensetoit.RainbowDashtriedtosave
her,andthat’sapparentlyhowfrostingendedupalloverthesofa.”

“YouhadmeupuntilRainbowDash.”

“MyLittlePony.Stupidnames,”hemurmured,thenshookhishead.“Thanks.For

thefrosting.”Hetappedhisnose.“Howareyoudoingoverthere?”

“Oh,I…”Ipaused.“Ialmostknockedthisoneover,thensomethingsoundedlikeit

smashed,soIwasjustcheckingitover.”

Hefrowned.“Didanything?Smash?

“Oh,no.”Ibentdownandpickeduponeofthevases.“Allfine.”

HepickedhiswaythroughtheboxesthesamewayIhadandjoinedme.Ihesitated,

holdingthevaseclosetomychestashereachedforthetopandopenedit.

Hesitantly,hepickedupthephoto.Ipeeredupathimthroughmylashes,watching

asaslightsmiletoyedwiththeedgesofhismouth.“You’reprobablywonderingwhy
there’sawholeboxofphotosofher,right?”

“No,”Ilied.

Helookedatme,oneeyebrowraised.

“Ididn’tknowallofthemwereofher,soIdidn’t,butnowIam,”Iadmitted.

Helaughedquietly,settingtheframebackinthebox.Hetookthevasefromme,

replacedit,anddidthesamewiththeother.Then,hefoldedtheboxflapssoitwas
completelyclosed.

ChapterEight

“It’seasier,”hesaid,movingaway.Heliftedupaboxmarked‘gymstuff’and

moveditlikeitweighednothing.“Thetwinsdon’trememberher,eventhoughtheyknow
theirmommyisanangel.Imovedushereforafreshstart,andfornow,keepingitall
together,outoftheway,ispartofthat.”

Ididn’tknowwhattosaytothat.So,Isaidnothing.

Heturned,half-smiling.“Youlooklikeyoupityme.”

“Idon’tknowthatpityistherightword,”Isaidquietly,straighteningthepicture

frameboxup.“Ifeelbadforyou.Andthetwins,obviously.”

“I’veacceptedit.Honestly,thehardestpartofeverythingwastheadjustmentafter

she’ddied.ShedidmostoftheparentingwhileIworked,andallofasudden,Ihadthese
twopeoplewhonowneededmetodostuffI’dneverdonebefore.Ihadhelp,but…”He
sighedandshruggedashoulder.“Everytimemyfamilyorfriendslookedatme,itwas
withpity.I’dproposedtoherbeforeshegotpregnant,thenwhentheywereeightmonths
old,wefoundoutabouthercancer.”

“I’msorry.”Iletmyfingersfallfromthebox.

“Iwasreadyforit.Itwashard,butnowIfinallyfeellikewe’vesettled.”Heshifted

anotherbox.“Whenthey’rereadytoknowabouther,I’lltellthem.Untilthen,it’seasier
tostartfresh.”

“Itkindasoundslikeyou’rekeepingherlockedawayforyourself.”

“Iam.”Heturnedandmetmyeyes.“LikeIsaid—easier.I’llnevermoveonifI’m

surroundedbyher.”

“Didyouevergetmarried?”

“No.Honestly,we’dneverevenplannedit,pastgettingengaged.Weird,right?”

“Notreally.Mybestfriendgotengagedwhenshewasnineteenandstraightupsaid

sheneversawthemgettingmarried.”

Heraisedhiseyebrows.“Thenwhydidshesayyes?”

“Shelikesshinythings.Oh,andshewasreallyshallow.”

Brantleylaughed,thegenuinesoundwipinganytraceofsadnessfromhisface.

“Fairenough.Isshestillshallow?”

Ipinchedmyfingerandthumbtogether,leavingasmallgap.“Littlebit.Andshe

stilllikesshinythings,althoughshetendstocollectthemherselfnow.Bitlikea
blackbird.”

“Isn’titcrowsthatlikeshinythings?”Hetiltedhisheadtotheside.“Alongwith

smallchildren,ofcourse.”

“Crowslikesmallchildren?”

“What?”

“Youaskedifcrowslikeshinythingsalongwithsmallchildren.”

Hestaredatme,confusioncloudinghiseyes.“No,Imeantthatsmallchildrenlike

shinythingsaswell.”

Iblewoutabreath.“Oh,thankgod.Iwasabouttohavenightmaresovercrows

eatingsmallkids.”

“You’renotthesharpesttoolintheboxthismorning,areyou?”

“Hey.I—”Ipointedmyfingerathim,mouthopen,andstopped.

Ihadnoresponsetothat.

Actually,Idid.

Iskirtedtheboxesandjabbedmyfingertipinhisarm.Damnit,thatbicepismade

ofrock.“Moveyourownboxes.”

HeburstoutlaughingandreachedformewhenItriedtomoveaway.“Kali—”

“I’mgoingtocheckonthesuperheroweddingparty.”Isteppedback,wavingmy

armoutofhisreach.

Andtripped.

AsquealleftmymouthasItrippedoverabox.Stilllaughing,Brantleydarted

forwardandgrabbedmebeforeIcouldhittheground.Hishandswerehotonmywaist,
andmyheartthunderedagainstmyribs—fromthenear-fallorhishands,Ididn’tknow.

Hepulledmeuptostandingstraight,andtheonlythingstoppingourbodiesfrom

touchingwasthewayIheldmyarmstomychest.Myfingersgrazedmyneckandthe
skinbeneathmychin,andIswallowedhardwhenIlookedupandmethiseyes.

Inches.

Thatwashowmuchdistancetherewasbetweenourmouths.Betweenmyglossy,

redlipsandhissoft,pinkones.Soclosethathisbreathtickledacrossmycheekwarmly.

SoclosethatIcouldseethehintofdarkerblueflecksintheturquoiseofhisirises.

SoclosethatIcouldseetheshadowhiseyelashescastoverhisskinwheneverheblinked.

ThatIcouldseethedimple,half-hiddenbythescruffonhisjaw,ashislipspulled

tooneside.

“Sadly,”hesaidquietly,stillsmiling,“Youhavetobeasuperherotojointhe

weddingparty,andyoujustprovedyouaren’t.”

“RainbowDashdoesn’tsoundlikeasuperhero.Unlessit’sasuperheroonasugar

high.”

“Butshecanfly.”Hiseyesdancedwithlaughter.“Youwerenotevenclosetothata

secondago.”

Iopenedmymouthtoreply,butstoppedshortasthewordscaughtinmythroat.

Hewasteasingmeagain.

Exceptthistime,hewastouchingmewhilehedidit,andmyheartwasgoingcrazy.

Boom,boom,boom.Itbeatfasterandfasteruntilmypulsethunderedinmyears,andI
drewinasharpbreath.Allitdidwasdryoutmymouth,andmylipsfollowed.

Iwetmylipswithmytongue.

Heglanceddownatmymouth.Hejustbarelytightenedhisgriponmywaist,his

fingerstwitchingashefoughtthebattlebetweenlookingatmylipsandmeetingmyeyes.

Ohgod,thisiswrong.

Iwantedhimtokissme.Rightnow.Outofnowhere.Inthemustygaragewherethe

airconditionerhadstoppedworkingyetagain,becausethatwassofuckingromantic.

Whatwaswrongwithme?

“Noooo!Ewi!BwingbackTwiwight!Noooooooo!”Ellie’svoicereacheda

crescendothatslammedintomeasthescreamgotcloserandclosertothedoor.

BrantleyandIpartedliketheotherwasonfire.Iranmyfingersthroughmyhair

andlookedaway,mycheeksheatingupfuriously.

“WhatonEarthisgoingon?”

“HestoleTwiwight,”ared-faced,sobbingElliesaidbythedoor.Shesniffed.“He

won’twetBarbiegetmarried,andIneedTwiwightbecauseshethebwidesmaid.”

Atleast,that’swhatIthoughtshe’dsaid.Itwashardtotellbetweenthesnotandthe

crying.

Outofthecornerofmyeye,IsawBrantleygetononekneeandsitEllieonthe

step.AsIpretendednottolook,heliftedthehemofhisshirtandwipedathereyes.Then,
hepulleditoff,andwipedhernosewithit.

Damnit.Thatshouldnotbeasweetthingtodo.

Shamemyheartdidn’tgetthemessage.Itswoonedrightoutofthegarage.

“Okay,”hesaidsoftly.“Isthatabitbetter?”

Shewipedhernoseandnodded.“IwantTwiwightback.”

Hestoodup.“Eli!Comehere.”

Therewassilence.

“I’mgoingtocounttofive,”Brantleycontinued.“Andifyoudon’tcomehereby

thetimeIgetthere,yoursistergetstheremotecontrolallafternoon.”

Irolledmyeyes.“Suchamanthreattomake.”

Helookedoverhisshoulderandwinked.

Okay.Backmuscles,winking,andgraysweatpants?

ShootmedownandcallmeSally.IthinkIjustcameonthespot.

Iwascertainlyalittleuncomfortabledownthere,thatwasforsure.

Ipeeredathimashestartedtocount.Yup.Definitelyuncomfortable.Fromthe

shouldersrightdowntothedimplesatthebaseofthisspine…

“No!IamnotwatchingSofiaallday!”Eliappearedasiffromnowhere,andI

suspectedhewasalotcloserthanhe’dpretendedtobe.

Brantleyfoldedhisarmsacrosshischest,thesnotty,tear-stainedt-shirthanging

fromonehand.

Igaveupallpretenseofnotwatchingand,well,watched.

“PleasegiveyoursisterbackTwilightSparkle.”

Elifrownedandheldthepurpleponyclosertohim.“No.”

“I’mnotgoingtoaskyouagain.”

“Shewon’tgivemeEye-onMan!”

Eye-onMan.Oh,mygod.

Brantleysighed.“Ellie,BarbieisgoingtohavetomarryKen.”

Elliefoldedherarmsacrossherchest.“ButKenwaskissingherfwiend.”She

frowned.“BadKen.”

IbittheinsideofmycheeksoIdidn’tlaugh.

“VerybadKen,”Brantleyagreed.“He’llhavetostopkissingherfriendsohecan

marryBarbie.IfyougiveEliIronMan,he’llgiveyouTwilightSparkleback.”

Shetiltedherchinup,peeringdownhernoseatBrantley.Asherlittlelipspursed

intodispleasure,youcouldalmostseethecogsofhermindwhirringtomakethedecision.

Then,sheslumped.“Fine,”shesighed.“EwicanhadIronMan.”

God,Ilovedthewayshetalked.

“Hereyougo.”Eliheldoutthepony.

Elliescrambledandtookit.“Fankyou.”

“Now,gogetIronMan,andleaveeachotheralone,okay?Youcanhaveasnack

soon.”

Theybothnoddedinperfectsync.Theyeventurnedandraninsync.

“You’dthinkI’dbeusedtothat,”Brantleysaid,turningtomewithaspeculative

lookonhisface.“But…Nope.Notatall.”

Icouldn’thelpthesmilethatstretchedacrossmylips.“Itmakesmewanttorunfor

thehills,honestly.It’sreallyweird.”

“That’snothing.Notreally.”

“Whatdoesthatmean?”

Hethrewhist-shirtthroughthedoorandmovedforabox.Hismusclesflexedashe

pickeditup,andshit,thiswasnotinmycontract!

“Theydidn’tspeakuntiltheywerethree.Notproperly.Isweartheycan

communicatewitheachotherwithoutspeaking.”Hecheckedthesideofaboxand
gruntedwhenhepickeditup.

“Isn’tthatathing,though?Don’ttheysaythatsometwinsdohavesomeweird

connectionwheretheycancommunicatewithoutwords?”

“IthinkIheardthatsomewhere,too.”Hehuffedasheputdownthebox.“It’s

weird.Idon’tknowiftheycouldn’tspeakuntiltheywerethree,oriftheysimplychose
notto.Whateveritwas,whentheystartedproperly,ittookthemabouttwoweekstogo
fromsayingtwentywordsadaytohavingconversationswitheveryone,nomatterwho
theywere.”

“Ican’timaginethemdoingthat,”Isaiddryly.“They’resoquiet.”

Helaughed.“Andtoaddinsulttoinjury,theycan’tpronouncethe‘L’sound,butif

youaskElitonamedinosaurs,hecansayhalfoftheirnamesperfectly.Atsevena.m.,he
toldmehewasa“vewociwaptor”with“fedders”onhisarms.Idon’tevenknowwhata
velociraptoris.”

Ipaused,handsonabox,andgazedoverathim.“It’sadinosaur,”Isaidslowly.

Hestaredbackatmeflatly.“Shutup.Ithoughtitwasabreedofdog.”

Itriedtoglareathim,buttherewasaplayfulglintinhiseyethatmadeitimpossible

nottogrin.“Hasanyoneevertoldyouyou’reprettysarcastic?”

“It’showIweedouttheidiotsfromthepeopleworthtalkingto.”Hewinkedand

pickedupapinkbike.“Theidiotsdon’tgetsarcasm.”

“Huh.ThatexplainswhyIbarelyhavefriends.Mostofthepeopleinthistownare

idiots.Now,Ifeelbetter.”

“Idon’tbelievethat.”

“Ohno,theyreallyareidiots.”

“Notthatpart,”hesaidthroughgentlelaughter.“Thepartaboutyounothaving

friends.”

Ishuddered.“Ispendallmyworkinghoursdealingwithpeople.Idonotwantto

havetodothatafterwork,too.”

Thatgentlelaughtergotlouder.“Then,I’mhonoredyou’rehereandtalkingtome

whenyoushouldn’tbe.”

Imock-curtseyed.“Asyoushouldbe.”

Heheavedalargeboxfullofclinkingthingsupandsetitontopofanotherone.He

lookedoveratme,ahalf-smilecreepingontohisface,andshookhishead.“Howlong
untilthatfurniturearrives?”

Iopenedmymouthtoanswer,onlytobeinterruptedbythesoundofsomething

largepullingupoutside.“I’mgonnagowithrightnow.”

“Shit,”hemuttered,lookingatthegarage.

***

“Youtheangryladywhocalledanddemandedwenotdeliverthistoday?”

Iglaredatthedeliverydriverandheldoutmyhandforapen.

Hiseyeswidened,andheextractedapenfromhischestpocket,clickedit,and

handedittome.

IscrawledmysignatureonthebottomofthepaperontheclipboardtoconfirmI’d

receivedthedelivery.

“Wasn’titobviouswhensheinsisteduponcheckinginsidealltheboxestomake

sureeverythingwastherebeforeshe’ddothat?”BrantleynoddedtotheclipboardasI
passeditback.

Thedeliveryguymadeeyecontactwithhimandgaveaquickraiseofhiseyebrows

asiftosay,“Yeah,itshouldhavebeen.”

IshotBrantleyahardlookbeforeclickingthedeliveryguy’spenandpassingit

back.“Thenyourcompanyshouldpayattentiontoitscustomers.Ibookedthedeliveryfor
acertainday,andthat’swhenIexpectedit.Notadamnweekearly.”

Deliveryguyshrugged.“Sorry,Miss.Ideliverwhattheygiveme.Takeitupwith

themanager.”

“Itried.Henceyourdeliverynote.”

Brantleypushedoffthesideofthegaragedoorwherehe’dbeenleaningasI

checkedalltheboxes.“Thankyou,”hesaidtothedriver,takingholdofmyshouldersand
steeringmebackinsidethegaragethewayhehaddonewithElliewhenI’darrivedan
hourearlier.

Hejabbedthebuttontoshutthegaragedoor.

“Whyareyoushuttingthedoor?”Iasked,doingmybesttoignorethewayhis

fingertipssenttinglesacrossmybareshoulders.

“So,youdon’tterrorizethedeliveryguyanymore.”

“Iwasn’tterrorizinghim,”Iinsisted.“Iwassimplyinforminghimofallthethings

hedoeswrong.”

“Wecanagreetodisagree.”Hereleasedmeandstretchedhisarmsoverhishead.

“Let’sgetthisfurniturestackedagainstthewallwesomehowmanagedtoclear,thenyou
cangetonwithyourweekend.”

Ileanedagainstthewall,foldingmyarmsacrossmychestwithasmirk.

Brantleylookedaround,thenstilled,sighing.“Thefurnitureisoutsideonthedrive,

isn’tit?”

Mysmirkgotalittlelarger.“Yup.”

“Shit.”

ChapterNine

I’dmadeaterriblemistake.

Sure,Declanwashandsome.Hehadthatdark,broodinglookthatwasthereasonso

manypeoplewereattractedtoIanSomerhalder.Hewasdefinitelythekindofguyyou’d
lookatfourtimesinthegrocerystoreandproceedtoleavewithatinglyclitorisanda
hankeringforalittletimetoyourselfandTumblr.

Also,hewasperfectlynice.Thirty-twoyearsold,hadagreatjobinaccounting,

visitedhismomonceaweek,lovedtovacationinthemountains,andlikedHarryPotter.

Yep,hewasperfect.

So,whyhadImadeaterriblemistake?

Simple.Hewastooperfect.Perfecthair,perfectteeth,perfectlaugh—evenhisnose

wasperfect.Notafreckleoramoleorablackheadinsight.

Andwithperfectguyscameperfectproblems.Therehadtobesomethingburied

deepdowninsidehim,waitingtobubbleup.

Iwatchedhimashetalked.

Iwasn’tlistening.

IwasthinkingaboutthewayBrantleycaughtmewhenItrippedearlier.

Abouthowhothishandshadfeltthroughtherelativelythinmaterialofmytank

top.Abouthowfirmhe’dgrippedme,howwarmhisbreathhadbeenasitflutteredover
mymouthandcheek,how—

“Kali?”

IjerkedbacktothehereandnowasMarcieplacedthecheckonthetable.

“Areyoudonewiththat,honey?”Shepointedtomyhalf-eatendinner.

Crap.

“Oh,yeah,sorry.”IofferedDeclanasheepishsmile.“I’msosorry.I’vebeena

terribledate.”

Hesmiled,likehedidn’tmindatall.

Hmm.Maybehewasapsychopath?

“No,it’sfine.I’vehadworsedates.Besides,yousaidyouworkedtoday,right?We

probablyshouldhaverescheduledsoyouweren’ttired.”

Mhmm.Weretheythinkingaboutanothermanonyourdate,though?Someonethey

hadnoplacethinkingabout?

Ibettheyweren’t.

Also:hewasrespondingtomewaytoopositively.

WasInitpickingforthesakeofitnow?

Ugh.

“You’reright.I’msorry.Here—I’llpaymyhalfofthecheck.”

HewavedhishandatmewhenIreachedformypurse.“Absolutelynot.Ifyou

must,youcanpayfordatetwo.”Heflashedmeagrinandslippedhiscardinthebook
withoutcheckingthetotal.“Excuseme—Ineedtherestroom.”

Ismiledtightly.

Boy,hewaspresumptuous.

Ipeekedatthebill,pulledoutcash,andslippeditinthebook.Andran—rightinto

Marcie.

Shewinked.“Yourdadcalled.Therewasafamilyemergency.”

“You’remyfavoritepersonintheworld,”Itoldher,squeezingherhand.

Thistime,Imanagedtoescapetherestaurant.

Itwasstillhotandstickyoutside,butI’dhadtheforesighttowearalooserdress,

andnow,Iwasglad.Declanhadpickedmeupfrommyhouse,whichnowmeantIhadto
walkhome.

Notabadthing.

IfonlyI’dbroughtflatsinmypurse.

Oh,well.Icouldn’twinthemall.I’dlistentomyfeetscreamatmeallnight,butfor

now,Ineededtogetawayfromtherestaurant.

ImadeitontoMainStreet,awayfromtheseafrontwheretheCoastalwas,and

heardacarbehindme.Mystomachdropped—Declanwouldhavelefttherestaurantby
now,andifthiswashim,itwasabouttogetrealawkward,realfast.

Iwincedandpeeredovermyshoulder.Afamiliar,blackRangeRovercrawledtoa

stopnexttome,andthewindowonthedriver’ssidewounddown.

Brantleypokedhisheadoutofthewindow.“Alone?”

Ifrowned.“Wherearethetwins?”

Henodded.“Sleepingintheback.It’seasiertoshopwhenit’squieter.Whatareyou

doingwalkingthroughtownbyyourself?”

“Anotsogreatdate,”Ireplied,tuckinghairbehindmyear.

Slowly,hisbrightgazeranupanddownmybody,lingeringonmybright-redheels

foramomenttoolong.“Andyoudidn’tdrive?”

“Hepickedmeup,andI,um…”

Hehalf-grinned.“Wantaridehome?”

“No,it’sfine.It’soutofyourway.”

“It’sthreeblocksover.NotLosAngeles.”

“Still,youhavetogothereandthenback.”

Herolledhiseyes.“Thenatleastletmedriveyoutomyhouse.Walkfromthere.”

Ipaused,runningmyteethovermylowerlip.

“Getinthedamncar,Kali,”hesaidfirmly.“It’sgettingdarkandyou’rebyyourself.

Ican’tleaveyouinthemiddleoftown.”

“I—”

Helookedatmedeadintheeyeandrepeated,“Get.In.The.Damn.Car.”

Icheckedtheroadand,afterseeingitwasclear,gotinthedamncar.

“Thankyou.”Hesmirkedatmeandquicklylookedoverhisshoulderwhenoneof

thekidssnort-snoredintheirsleep.

Ipeeredbackatthem.Bothwearingpajamaswithdogson,theyeachclutcheda

stuffedtoy—Ellieamonkey,andEliabluedinosaur.Theybothsleptsoundly,withEli
suckinghisthumb.

Brantleyreachedbackandgentlypulleditoutofhismouthbeforepullingaway

fromthecurb.“Damnthumbsucking,”hesighed.Heglancedatme.“Abaddate,huh?”

“Notsomuchbad,”Isaidslowlyandcarefully.“Morethathewassuspiciously

perfect.”

“Ah,thedecentguy.Terriblebunchofpeople.”

Irolledmyeyes.“Stopit.Ididn’tconnectwithhim,that’sall.”MostlybecauseI

keptthinkingaboutyou.“Ikindaranoutwhenhewenttotherestroom.”

“Youstiffedhimwiththebill?”

“No!He’dlefthiscard,butIputthecashformyhalfofthebill.Whatdoyouthink

Iam,cheap?”

“Well,thatescalatedquickerthanIthoughtitwould.”Heglancedatme,lips

tuggingup.“Notatall.Iwasonlywondering.”

Iwantedtorollmyeyesagain,butintheinterestofnotgivingmyselfaheadache,I

decidedagainstit.

“HethoughtIwastiredfromworkingthismorningandapologizedfornot

rescheduling.”

“Andthat’stooperfect?”

“Yes.Iwasbeingadreadfuldate.”

“Atleastyoucanadmitthat.”

“Heassumedwe’dgetasecond.Saidasmuch.”

“Ooh.”Brantleywinced.“Didn’task?”

Ishookmyhead.

“You’vehadabadday,huh?Getwokenupearlyaftertoomuchsangria,haveto

spendtheentiremorningatmyplacethankstoanassholedeliveryservice,witnessa
disputeoveraponyandasuperhero,thenyouhaveashittydateandhavetobedriven
homebyyourclient.”

Well,whenheputitlikethat…

“AndIhaveblistersonmyfeetbecausetheseshoesarenew.So,justaheadsup,I’ll

bepaintinginflip-flopsthisweek.”

“They’regreatshoes,though.”

Ilookeddown.“Yeah,theyreallyare.Shamethey’repainful.Maybethey’rethe

kindofshoesyouweartowatchTVandfeelgoodaboutyourself.”

“Yeah.They’rethosekindashoes.”Hisdrytonehadmestaringathim.

“Whatdoesthatmean?”

Hepulledupintohisdriveway.Theheadlightsilluminatedthesideofthehouse,

andhesmiledatme.“Nothing.Iwasagreeingwithyou.”

Iwouldhavecalledbullshit,buthegotoutofthecarandpulledouthisfrontdoor

keybeforeIhadachancetorespond.

Whatever.I’dletitslide,mostlybecauseIshouldhavetakenhimuponhisoriginal

offertotakemehome.Theblisteronthebackofmyfootwasnowdangerouslypainful.

Well,likehe’dsaid,I’dhadabitofashittyday,sowhatwasonemorethingtoadd

tothelist?

Igotoutofthecar,wincingasIputweightonmyrightfootandmyshoerubbed

thesoreblister.“Shit,shit,shit,”Iwhispered.

“Here.”Laughing,Brantleywalkedaroundthefrontofthecar,holdingasmall,

long,rectanglesomething.“ABand-Aid.Forthatblister.”

Igasped,takingitfromhim.“Ohmygod,Icouldkissyou.”

Heraisedhiseyebrows.

Ifroze.

“Imean,”Istarted.“Not—youknow.Kissyou.Icouldkissyou,butIwon’tkiss

you.Ohmygod,Ihavetostopsayingkissyou.Crap.Nevermind.I’mjustgoingtoshut
upnow.”

Hesaidnothing.Hesimplygavemeaway-too-sexysidegrin,andhiseyesflashed

withlaughter…andsomethingthatlookedalittlebitlikedesire.

Ilookedaway,cheeksflaming,andgotbackinthepassengersidesoIcouldapply

theBand-Aid.

Meandmybigmouth.

WhythehelldidIsayIcouldkisshim?AsidefromthefactIcould—andthatwas

beforetheBand-Aid.

Ugh.Tenidiotpointsforme.

IcrumpleduptheBand-Aidwrapperandgingerlysteppedoutofthecar.Itwasn’t

perfect,butitwassureashellbetterthanithadbeenbefore.

“Sssh,”IheardBrantleywhisperfromtheothersideofthecar.“I’mtakingyouto

bed,El.It’sallright.”

“Mmk,”shegroaned.

Iturnedandpeekedoverthetopofthecarjustasitrockedwhenheshutthedoor.

Elliewasdrapedoverhisbody,herheadfloppedonhisshoulder.Herplaitshungdown
herback,andshehadhermouthopenlikeshewascatchingflies.

Brantleyhadonearmunderherbutt,holdingherup,andsecuredherwithhisother

arm.ThestuffedmonkeyhungwithitstailwrappedaroundBrantley’spinkyfinger.

Ismiledashecarriedherin.Eliwasstillfastasleepinthebackseat,andIwatched

himthroughthewindow.AlthoughIknewhewouldbefine,Ididn’twanttoleavehim,
especiallywiththefrontdooropenandthecarunlocked.

So,Ihoveredawkwardlyoutsidethecar,probablylookingfarcreepierthanIever

intendedto.Afterall,itwasn’teverydayyouhadanicelydressedwomaninheelsstaring
atafour-year-oldthroughacarwindow.

Notonewhowasn’ttheirmom,anyway.

Elirolledhisheadtotheotherside,scrunchinghisfaceup.Hetriedtostretch,but

theconfinesofhischildseatdidn’tallowhimto,andapparently,thiswastheendofthe
world,becausehestartedtocry.

Istilled.Ididn’tknowhowtodealwithacryingchild.Especiallynotanexhausted,

half-awake,cryingchild.MygazeflittedbetweenEliandtheopenfrontdoor,butwhenhe
criedlouderandBrantleystilldidn’tcomeback…

Imuttered,“Shit,”andsetmypursedownsoIcouldopenthedoor.

“Hey,Eli,”Isaidsoftly,brushinghiscrazyhairawayfromhiseyes.“Sssh.Daddyis

justputtingEllietobed.Hey.”

Hiseyes,justashadedarkerthanhisdad’s,openedwideandstaredatme,glassy

withtears.Itwasalmostasifhewaslookingatmewithoutseeingme,becausethetears
carriedonfalling.

“Kawi,”hewhisperedthickly,sleepcloudinghisvoice.“Out.”Hetuggedatthe

strapsthatkepthimsafeintheseat.“Pwease.”

Uhhhh.

“Okay,”Isaid,Ithinkmoretomyselfthanhim.

Like,woohoo,Kali!Yougotthis!It’sonlyachild!Goget‘em,Tiger!

Iwasamess.

Ileanedintothecarandpressedthelittlecliptoundothestraps.Eliwriggledoutof

thembeforeIhadachancetomove,andwithatightgriponhisdinosaur,hegrabbedhold
ofmeandhungoffmyneck.

Awesome.

NowwhatwasImeanttodo?Iwaswearingfour-inchheelsforastart.Forafinish,

whatdidIdo?

See,IreallyneededacousinorsomeonetopopababyoutsoIhadsomeideaof

howtocopewithachild.

Iwaswoefullyunderpreparedforthisawkwardturnofevents.

“Okay.”Again,whowasItalkingto?MeorEli?We’llneverknow.Oneoflife’s

greatestmysteries.

Isteadiedmyselfontheslopeddrivewayandusedthemomentumwithwhichhe

wastryingtoescapethecartopickhimup.Thesecondwewereclearofthecar,hecurled
himselfaroundme.Armstightaroundmyneck,legswrappedaroundmywaistasfaras
histinyoneswouldgo.

AllIcouldthinkasIsteppedbackwasthatIwasgladhe’devenlybalancedhis

weight.AndthatIhadonlydrunkoneglassofwinewithdinner.

Thankgodforsmallmercies.

Inudgedthecardoorshutwithmyelbow,holdingtighttoEli,andcarefullymade

mywayupthedrivetothefrontdoor.AnothersmallmercyIrealized:thedrivewaywas
clearlybettermadethanthewindowsinthishouse,becauseitwasperfectlysmoothand
therewasnowayIcouldtrip.

Aftermyday,thiswasatotalsilverlining.

I’djuststeppedinsidethehousewhenBrantleycamedownthestairs.

“Oh,crap.I’msorry.Shewasfussing.”

“It’sfine,”Iwhisperedscratchily.“ButIcan’tbreathe.”

Hedippedhisheadwithaquietlaughandcametomyside.“Hey,buddy.Come

here.”

Elishookhisheadandcurledrightintome.

Aw,shit.

Nowwhat?

“Comeon,letmeputyouuptobed,”Brantleytriedagain.“LetKaligohome.”

Again,heshookhishead,thistimeburyinghisfaceinmyneck.

Isighed.“Helpme.”Leaningagainstthebottomofthebanister,Ikickedalegup.

“Takeoffmyshoes.”

Helookedatmefunnyforamomentbeforegrabbingtheheelandpullingitoff.

“Oop,”IbreathedwhenIputmyfootdownandshrunkseveralinches.“Otherone.”

Anotherkickup,anotherheelgrab,anothertug.

Barefoot,IpaddedupthestairswithBrantleybehindme.

“He’sinmyroom,”hesaid.“Left,theenddoor.”

Sweethell.NowIwasgoingtoseehisbedroom?

IreadjustedmygriponEliwhenBrantleypassedmeandopenedthedoor.

ThankGod,thisroomwasalotclosertotherestofthehouse,justhowI’dhoped

it’dbeen.Boxeswerepiledeverywhere,buttherewasaclearspacewherehiskingsize
bedwasnexttoasmall,singlebedwithBatmanbedding.

IwalkedaroundthelargebedwithbeddinginshadesofgrayandblacktoEli’s.

“Hereyougo,buddy,”Isaidsoftly,layinghimonthebed.

Hereleasedme,finally,andcurledupintoaballonhisside,huggingthedinosaur

closetohischest.Ipulledthecoverupoverhim,andhemutteredsomethingunintelligible
beforeatinysnoreescapedhim.

Icoveredmymouthwithmyhand,stiflingatinygiggleattheadorablesound.

Brantleysmiled,leadingmeoutoftheroomandshuttingoffthelight.Iwentdown

thestairsbeforehim,breathingoutslowlyandrunningahandthroughmyhair.

“Thankyou,”hesaidsoftly,joiningmeatthebottomofthestairs.“It’sbeenalong

timesincesomeonebutmeputoneofthosetwotobed.”

Ismiled,slidingmyfeetintomyshoes.AtleastIdidn’twincewhenthebackofthe

shoehitmyblister…“You’rewelcome.I’mnotusedtokids,solet’ssaythatwasafirst
forme.”

Thesmilethatstretchedacrosshisfacewasgenuineandwarmanddamnmyheart

forpickinguponthatandskippingabeat.“You’reanatural.”

“Ineverythingbutmypatience,I’msure.”Igrinned.“Ah,crap,Ileftmypurse

outside.”

Hesteppedpastmeandwentoutside.WhenIjoinedhim,hewasholdingitup,

staringatit.“It’snotreallymycolor,”henotedofthescarlet-redclutch.“Butit’s
definitelyyours,Ithink.”

Ilaughedandtookitfromhim.“Thankyou.”Ipeekedinside.“Everythingishere.

Thankgodforouralmostnon-existentcrimerate.”

“Idoubtanyonewillbetrollingthisneighborhoodforpursestosteal.”

“Idon’tknow.Anything’spossible.Wedidhaveasuspectedmurderafewyears

ago.”

“Wasitmurder?”

Ipulledoutmyphone.“No.Notevensuicide.Theguywasn’tevenfromhere.He

justdiedinhisrentalapartment.”

“Howthrilling.”

“Hey—youdon’tmovetoRockBayforthedrama.Actually,peoplejustdon’t

movetoRockBay.”Ibroughtupmymom’snumberandhitdial.“You’reanenigma,
BrantleyCooper.”

Hesmirked.“Speakforyourself,Ms.Handywoman.”

IlaughedrightasMomanswered.

“Yes?”shesaid.“DoIneedtorescueyou?”

“Notexactly.I’matBrantleyCooper’sandhavetheworstblisteronmyfoot.Can

youpickmeup?”

Silence,andthen,“Whyareyouatyourclient’shouse?”

“Longstory,”Isaid.“Please?”

“Iwantafullrun-downofthedateandwhythehellyou’reatBrantleyCooper’s.

Thenyou’vegotyourselfadeal.”

Isighed.“Fine,fine.Deal.”

“I’llbethereinfiveminutes.”Shehungup,killingthelinewithaclick.

Brantley,withfourgrocerybagsinhishands,staredatme.“Youjustcalled

someonetodriveyouthreeblocks?”

“Uh,yes.Butthat’smymom’sjob.”

“Lord,Ihopemykidsdon’tsaythatintwentyyears.”

Igrinned.“Sheonlywantstoknowaboutmydate.”

Helaughedandnoddedtowardthetrunk.“Well?Ifyou’rewaiting,makeyourself

usefulandcarrysomeofthisin.”

“Uh.”Ilookedatmyshoes.“I’mnotexactlyequippedforgrocerycarrying.”

Shakinghisheadashepassedme,hesaid,“Standthereandlookpretty,then.But

thisisbasicallythecornerofthestreet,andthere’severychancesomeonemightget
confused.”

“Damnyou!”Ituckedmyclutchinsidethetruckandgrabbedabag.

That’sright.Abag.Justone.

Iwasn’tgoingtotakethiscrapsittingdown.

WhenIwalkedintothekitchenwithmyonebag,heblinkedatmeseveraltimes.

“MyGod,”hemuttered,probablytohimself.“Idon’tevenknowwhattosaytoyou.”

Iputthebagdown,smirked,andfoldedmyarmsovermychest.“Youaskedmeto

help.YouneversaidIhadtocarrymorethanonebag.”

Hislipstwitched.Hepursedthem,buttherestrainedlaughtershoneinhiseyes.

Thosegoddamnbeautiful,bright,expressiveeyes.

Shit,whatwaswrongwithme?

“Youaresomethingelse,Kali.That’sfordamnsure.”Hetuggedonabitofmyhair

ashewalkedpastme.

Ifollowedhimoutside.“Ofcourse,I’msomethingelse.Iwouldn’tbenearlyas

interestingifIwasthesameaseveryoneelse,wouldI?”

“I’venevermetanyoneasconfidentasyou,”hesaidhonestly.“Idon’tknowifit’s

arrogantorrefreshing.”

Ishruggedasthefamiliarrumbleofmymom’scarsoundedaroundthecorner.I

grabbedmyclutch.“IfIdon’tbelieveinmyself,isanyoneelsegoingto?”

“That’saverygoodpoint.”

Oureyesmet,andwesharedasmile.

Asmilethatmadeashiverdanceitswaydownmyspine.

“Hi!”Momgotoutofhercar.

Oh,no.

“Hi,”Brantleysaid,turningaround.“YoumustbeKali’smom.”

Mombeamed.“PortiaHancock.YouhavetobeBrantleyCooper.”Sheheldouther

hand.

“It’sapleasure,Mrs.Hancock.”Hetookherofferedhand,butinsteadofshakingit,

kissedit.

Momraisedhereyebrowsinan“ooh,hello,”kindofway.

“CallmePortia,”shereplied.“Mrs.Hancockismymother-in-law.”

“Anddoesn’teveryoneknowit,”Imuttered.

Momlaughed.“IhopeKaliisn’tbotheringyou,Mr.Cooper.”

“Brantley,please.OrBrantifyoulike—I’mnotpicky.Andno,she’snotbothering

meatall.”Heslidhisgazetomewithaslysmile.“Infact,IthinkIsavedherasstonight.”

Irolledmyeyes.“Myveryownsuperhero.WhydoesElineedBatmanwhenhe’s

gotyou?”

Momlookedbetweenusquestioningly,butBrantleyonlylaughedmeetingmygaze

fully.

“Idon’thaveamaskoracape.OraBatmobile,forthatpoint,”hereplied.“When

youfigurethatout…”

“I’llkeepitinmind,”Isaiddryly,steppingforward.“Mom?Shallwego?”

“Yes,”shesaidslowly,takinghergazefrommetoBrantley.“Itwaslovelytomeet

you,Brantley.I’msureI’llseeyouaroundsoon.”Shegavehimhermostdazzlingsmile,
whichwasn’thardconsideringshewasoneofthemostbeautifulpeopleIknew,and
turnedtothecar.

“I’llseeyouonMonday,”Isaidquietly.“Didthetwinspicktheirbedroomcolors?”

Henodded.“I’lltextyoutheirselections.”

“Thankyou.IwanttogetthatboughtonMonday.”

“Noproblem.I’llsendittomorrow.”Hepulledagrocerybagoutofthetrunk.“I’ll

seeyouMonday,Kali.”

Ibittheinsideofmycheek,smilingandnodding.“Oh,andBrant?”

Hesmirked,turningbacktolookatme.“Yeah?”

“Thanksforsavingmetonight.”

Hislaughwaslikeallthebestchocolates—richandsmoothandoh-so-satisfying.

“You’remorethanwelcome,ma’am.”Hefinishedwithawink,andwalkedinside.

Isighed,turningaround.

Momsatinthecar,windowsdown,andstaredatme.“Getinandtellme

everything.Now.”

ChapterTen

Rollingmyeyes,Ididexactlyasshe’dsaid.Irecappedthedateinrecordtime,and

whenIgotdone,shegroanedandsaidalltheappropriatethingsasshepulledintomy
driveway.

“Well,thanksfortheride!Talktoyoutomorrow!”Iwenttomakeaswiftexitfrom

thecar,butshejabbedabuttonand—“Ican’tbelieveyoujustchild-lockedmeinyour
car.”

Shegrinnedmanically.“Ohno,Kali.Ifyouthinkyou’regettingawaywiththis

withouttalkingtomeaboutBrantleyCooper,youcanthinkagain,child.”

“I’mtwenty-six.”

“And?You’restillaspottythirteen-year-oldwhohatesmeinmymindsometimes.”

“Ineverhatedyou.Youknowthat.”

“Iknow.”Shecurvedherlips.“Butitstillworksasaguilt-trip,doesn’tit?”

Igroaned.“Fine,comein,havecoffee,questionmeallyoulike.”

“Andyou’llanswereveryone,”sheclarified.

“Fine!”Irattledthecarhandle.“Letmego.”

Laughing,sheturnedoffthechildlockandgotoutwithme.“God,he’shandsome,

isn’tit?”

“Mom!”IlaughedasIpulledmykeysoutofmypurse.

“Well,heis!”

“Ohmygod.”IblushedasIunlockedthedoor.WhywasIblushing?Ugh,Ineeded

ado-overfortoday.

Momsnortedandfollowedmeinside.“Heisveryhandsome,Kali.Justadmitit.”

“Allright,fine.He’shotasfuck.There.Areyouhappynow,Mom?”

“Ecstatic.”

Iturnedonthecoffeemachineandignoredherlaughter.Isighed.Sometimes

havingamom-figurewhowasalmostclosertoabestfriendwasn’tagoodthing.

“Now,tellmemoreabouthim.Andbymore,Imeaneverything.Isheavailable?

Single?Hiskids?Theirmom?”

“WouldyoulikemetoGooglehispenissizewhileI’mhere?”

“Ifitwouldhelpyou,feelfree.”

Ipulledoffmyshoes.“Well,”Isaid,puttingthemtotheside.“Yes,he’ssingle.Yes,

he’savailable.Hiskidsarehilarious—four-year-oldtwins.Theirmomdiedofcancertwo
andahalfyearsago.”

“Oh,dear,”shesaidsoftly.“Howterrible.”

Inoddedinagreement.“HesaidRockBaywasafreshstartforhimandthekids.

Heliterallylefteverythingbehindtocomehere.Nofamily,nonothing.”

“WhyRockBay?”

Ishrugged.“Iguesshegotatransferwithhiswork.He’sbeendoingsomestuffthe

pastcoupledaysI’vebeenthere,andhesaidhisbosswastryingtogethimtogointothe
office.Theyseemprettyflexiblewithhim.”

“ArethetwinsgoingtoSummer,then?”

“Ofcourse,theyare.Whereelsewouldtheygo?”

“Goodpoint.Now,backtohimbeingsingle…”

“Mom.”

Shesighedandproppedherchinuponherhand.“Iknow,Iknow.I’mmessingwith

you.He’saclientandthat’snotexactlyanidealsituationforanywomantostepinto,is
it?”

Ilookeddownandfidgetedwithmybracelet.“Youdidit.”

Sheheldupafinger.“Honey,thatwasdifferentinamillionways.One,youwere

thirteen.Two,ithadbeenalotlongerthantwoyears.Three,therewasonlyoneofyou.”

“WouldithavemadeadifferenceifIhadabrotherorsister?”

Shegotupandcrossedthekitchentome.Shetouchedherhandstomyfacewithall

thewarmthofawomanwhodeservedtobeamother.Thegentlenessofhertouchmade
memeethereyes.

“Kali,never.”Hergazeneverwavered.“Iadoreyourfather—allhisidiociesand

all.AndIloveyou,honey.Itneverwouldhavematteredtome.”Shekissedmyforehead
thensteppedback,loweringherhandswithasmile.“Ifyouneedtotalk,callme.Okay?”

Inodded.

“Turnoffthatmachine.ThelastthingyouneedistospendyourSundayhalf-dead

becauseyoudrankcoffeewaytoolate.”Sheblewmeakissassheleft.“Talktoyousoon,
honey.”

“Bye,Mom.Loveyou.”

“Loveyou,too!”

Thedoorclickedbehindher.

Iletoutadeepbreath,lockedit,andwentuptobed.

Shewasright.

Ineededtosleep.

Ifonlytostopthinkingaboutthehot,singledadwhohadsomehowinvadedmy

thoughtstothepointofcrazy.

***

Brantley:Ineedtoaskafavor.

Ifrownedatmyphone.

Me:…?

Brantley:Elliehasitinherheadthatshewantswallpaper.She’sdemandingwego

tothehomestoretolookatit.

Me:Ithoughtshewantedpinkandpurple.

Brantley:Shedoes…pluswallpaper.Shewon’tletmetalkheroutofit.

Me:Areyouathome?

Brantley:No.

Me:You’reatthestore,aren’tyou?

Brantley:Yeah.

Irubbedmyhandacrossmyforehead.Ineededtogoanywaytogetthepaint,but

therewasnothingworsethangoingtoHarvey’sHomeonaweekend.Mostlybecause
that’swheneveryoneandtheirdamnmotherwent.

Nobodywentatninea.m.onaMonday.

Isighedandhitreply.

Me:Betherein20.

***

Thirtyminuteslater,IpulledupintheparkinglotofHarvey’s.AsI’dsuspectedit

wouldbe,itwaspacked.Iwasbarelyabletogetoutofmytruckwithoutdooringthecar
nexttome.

Inmydefense,thelinewasthereforareason,anditwasn’tfortheirfuckingtireto

goon.

AftersqueezingmywaybetweenmytruckandtheHondanexttome,Iblewouta

longbreathandhauledmypurseupontomyshoulder.Judgingbythecarshere,Iwas
walkingintoalevelofhellI’dpromisedmyselfI’dneverexperienceagain.

Harvey’ssatjustonthebrinkoftown,intheareawherenobodycouldevertruly

agreeonwhetheritwasinRockBayornot.Ilikedtobelieveitwasn’t,butthatnever
changedthefactthattheonlytwotimesI’dventuredinhereonaweekend,ithadtaken
methreehourstogetout,becauseeveryonehadaquestiontheywantedmetoanswer.

Because,apparently,Iknewbetterthanthepeoplewhoworkedthere.

Idid,butthatwasbesidethepoint.

Iyankedacartfromoutsidethedoorandputmypurseinthechildseat,making

suretokeepthestrapsloopedaroundonewrist.Iwasn’tgoingtomakethistriptwicethis
week,andsinceErichadtheflooringundercontrol,Ionlyneededthepaint.

IpushedthecartintothestoreandblinkedasIlookedaround.

Yep.

Packed.

Withasigh,Iduckedmyheaddownandmademywaythroughtothesmallcafé

whereIknewBrantleywaswaitingformewiththetwins.Luckilyforme,thecaféwas
rightbythefrontdoor,soImadeittherewithoutbeinginterceptedbyanyonewitha
hundredquestionsfortheresidentbuilder.

“Kawi!”ElliebeamedupatmeasIslippedintotheemptyseat.

“Hey,you.”Ismiledandchuckedherunderthechin.“Hey,Eli.”

Hesankdowninhisseat.“Hey,”hemumbled,lookingaway.

Brantleyrolledhiseyes.“Thankyouforthis.Idon’tthinkIcantakeanotherdebate

abouttheprosandconsofDisneyPrincessesorflowersandhearts.”

“Well,theentiredebatewouldberenderedvoidifyousimplysaidno,”Isaid.

“That,Iknow.Ijustcouldn’tbebotheredwiththeargumenttoday.Somebodywoke

upatfour-thirtythismorning.”Hiseyesslidtoaverysheepish-lookingEli,whoseown
gazewasnowfirmlytrainedonsomethingveryinterestingonthefloor.

IgesturedtothegiantcoffeeinBrantley’shand.“Thatexplainstheentirecarafe

youhaveinthatcup.”

“Ifonly,”hemuttered.“Ineedit.”Hebroughtthecuptohismouthandfinished

whateverwasleftofit.“Areyoureadytogetthisdone?”

Ipointedtomycart.“Readytobuythepaint.Weneeditforthelivingroom,too,

right?”

Henodded.“I’mconsideringnewcolors.Mycartisjustaroundthecorner.Kids,

comeon.”

Elliegotupandtuckedherhandintomine.“CanIshowedyoumybedwoom?”

Iraisedmyeyebrows.“Thecolorsyouwant?”

Sheshookherheademphatically.“Thepaper.”

“Idon’tknow,”Isaidslowly.“Paperisn’tgreat.Yourememberhowwepeeleditall

ofthewallsbefore?Ifyougetpaper,thatmighthappentoyourprettywalls.”

Hereyeswidened.“Areyousure?Idon’twannahadapeewywoom.”

“Exactly.Wouldn’tyoubesosadifthathappened?”

Shepouted,herbottomlipjuttingoutreallyfar.

Iputmypursebackonthechildseatandmovedherhandfromminetothecartto

holdonto.

“Oh,no,”shesaid,pointingattheseat.“Iwannasitdere.”

Brantleycameupnexttome.Elisatononesideofhishalf-fullcart.“Ellie,come

here.”

“No,Iwannasitdere,”sherepeated,pointingatmyseat.

Hestaredbackather.“Doyouwantthetiararug?”

Onceagain,hereyeswidened.“Yeah.”

Hepointedattheseatinhiscart.

Elliesighedandheldupherarms.Brantleyscoopedherupanddepositedherinthe

seatnexttoherbrother.

Thelookheshotmegaveawayhisexhaustion.

Man,someoneneededtointroducehimtothewonderofshoppingonline.

“Okay,”Isaidquietly,meetingBrantley’seyes.“Ifanyonetriestostopus,you’re

hereasmyclientandI’mworking.Gotit?”

Hiseyebrowsdrewtogetherinafrown.“But,youare?”

“No,Imeanofficially.LasttimeIcameinhereonaweekend,ittookmetwohours

toleavebecauseeveryonewhorecognizedmewantedmyadvice.”

“Ahh.Isee.Don’tworry—Idon’thavethepatienceforthattoday.Shallwegoto

thepaint?”

Inoddedandpushedmycart.

Hefollowedsuit.“Iforgottotextyoutheirchoices.”

“Tobehonest,itsoundslikeElliedoesn’thaveaclueanyway.”

“Iwannapinkandpurtlewoomwifheartsonthecurtains,”shesaidconfidently.

“Yougaveuponthewallpaper,then,huh?”Brantleyaskedwearily.

Shenodded.“Inowantittopeel.”

“Goodchoice,”hesaidtoher,rightbeforeheturnedtomeandmouthed,“Thank

you.”

Igrinned,turningdownthepaintaisle.

“Iwantwed,”Elisaidquietly,playingwithBrantley’swatch.“Wedandbwoo.”

“Redandblue?”Iaskedhimsoftly.

Henodded.

“YouwantbrightlikeSuperman?”

Helookedatme,hisentirefacelightingup.Henoddedenthusiasticallybeforehe

realizedhe’dmadeeyecontactandquicklylookedawayagain.

Iscratchedmycheek,hidingmysmilebehindmypalm.Hisshynesswasso

endearing—sounlikethechildwho,thenightbefore,hadlatchedontomeandrefusedto
letgountilhe’dbeenputtobed.

Brantleybrieflymetmyeyes.“Supermanblueandreditis.”

“Thatwaseasy,”Isaid.“Hey,Eli,thisred?”Ipointedtoascarletredthatstoodout.

HepeereduptowardthecanIpointedtoandfranticallynoddedhishead.

“Done.”IwavedBrantleyawaywhenhetriedtogetit.Ipulledtwocansoffthe

shelfanddumpedtheminmycart.“Aaaaand,theblue…”Imovedbackward,runningmy
handalongtheshelf.“Thisone?”

Heturnedrightaround,sawit,andnodded.

“Done.”Anothertwocansmadetheirwaytothecart.Theyweren’tthebiggest,and

I’dratheroverbuyandknowthepaintcouldbeusedagaininthefuture.Ialsograbbeda
verysmallcanofbrightyellowand,ignoringBrantley’squestioningraiseofhiseyebrow,
putthatwiththecans.“Ellie,yourturn.”

Muchmoreanimatedthanherbrother,sheturnedaroundalmostfullyinthecartand

lookedtotheothersideoftheaislewherethepinksandpurpleswere.

“Thatone.”Shepointedtoabubblegumpinkcolor.“Andthatone.”Shepointedher

otherhandtoamuchsofterlilacthatwouldcomplementthebrighterpinktoperfection.

“Allright,done.”IgrabbedtwoofeachcolorandputthemwithEli’scans.Turning

toBrantley,Iheldoutmyhandsandsaid,“Done!”

Hemutteredsomethingbeneathhisbreaththatsoundedalotlike,“Damnkids

behaveforeveryonebutme.”

Ilaughed,pushingmycartforwardsoitwaslevelwithhis.“I’mprettysureIread

ontheinternetthat’ssomethingyouhavetoacceptasaparent.”

Heslidhisgazetome.“Yeah?BenjaminFranklinalwayssaidyoushouldn’tbelieve

everythingyoureadontheinternet.”

Openingmymouth,Ipaused.

Wait.

“Funny,”Isaid,lettingthesarcasmseepintomytone.“Icomesaveyoura—butt,”I

correctedmyself,“Andhereyouare,screwingwithme.”

Brantleygrinned,bumpingmyelbowwithhis.“Yousoundsurprised.”

Inarrowedmyeyesathim.“Watchyourself,BrantleyCooper.OrImightjustleave

candylyingaroundwhenyouleastexpectit.Exactlywherecertaintinyhumansmayfind
it.”

“Youplaydirty,KaliHancock.”

Ipushedupthesleevesofmyplaidshirt,onebyone,andsmiledslowly.“Stop

teasingmeandnobodygetsasugaroverdose.”

Heskippedinfrontofmeattheregister,andwithhisbacktohiskids,letaneasy

smilestretchacrosshisface.“Thatsoundslikeathreat.”

“Actually,there’severychanceI’llforgetthisconversationtomorrow,butsure.It’s

athreat.”

Heburstoutlaughing,puttingadivideronthebelt.“Yourhonestyissorefreshing.”

Heputaruguponthebelt.“But,yourwarningisdulynoted.I’malmostentirelysurethat
stoppingteasingyouisn’tonthecardsrightnowbecauseit’ssodamnfun,soI’lltakemy
chances.”

Isighed,andwasabouttoreply,whensomeonetappedonmyshoulder.Ijumped

andturned,onlytolookintothefamiliareyesofHarvey,theowner.

Thecornersofhiseyescrinkledashesmiled.“Kali.HereonaSunday?”

“Shh.”Ipressedmyfingertomymouth.“ThePeopledon’tknowyet.Canyouget

meoutofhere?”

Harveylaughed,takingcontrolofmycart.“Anythingformyfavoritehandywoman.

ComeovertothecustomerservicedeskandI’llgetyousortedout.”

“Thanks,Harvey.”Itouchedhisarmwithasmile.Then,turningtoBrantley,I

grinned.“SeeyouMonday.”

Hesighed,buthisfightagainsthissmilewassoobviousitmademelaugh.

IwavedgoodbyetothetwinsandfollowedHarveytothecustomerservicecounter.

“Businessorpleasure?”heasked,ringingupthepaint.

“Business,”Ireplied.

“Lookslikepleasuretome.”

Irolledmyeyes.“YouwatchtoomuchTV,oldman.”

Hissmilewaslopsidedashetookbothmyloyaltycardandmydebitcard.“ButI

canseethelookofagirlwithacrush.”Heswipedmyloyaltycard.“He’shandsome,no?”

“You’vebeenspeakingtoMom,haven’tyou?”

“Imighthaveseenherinthegrocerystorefirstthingthismorning,”headmitted,

swipingmydebitcard.“Youseemverycomfortablewithhim.”

ItookbothcardsfromhiswrinkledhandandshothimthehardestlookIwas

capableof.“No.”IwaggledmyfingerathimtheexactsamewayIhadmymom.“Don’t
gothere.It’sbusiness,Harvey.Allright?”

Hegrinned,revealinghispearly-white,slightlycrookedteeth.“Surething,sweet

girl.Surething.”

Iputthelastcanofpaintbackinthecartandpursedmylipsathim.“Stayoutof

trouble,Harvey.”

“Me?Never.”

ChapterEleven

IftherewasonethingIwasn’tpreparedforonMondaymorning,itwasBrantley

Cooperhustlinghischildrenlikeabosswhilewearingasharpasfucksuit.

That’sright.

ThefirstthingIwascoherentlyabletoseeonMondaymorningwasasuitedand

bootedguy,herdingtwotinyhumansthewayadogherdedsheep.

Istoodjustinsidethefrontdoor,blinkingatthesightbeforeme.

“Eli!Getyourdinosaur.Ellie,I’veaskedyouthreetimesnowtoputonyour

shoes.”

“Ican’tfinddem!”

“Youhadtheminyourhandsfiveminutesago!”

“Ewistoledem!”

“Eli,didyoutakeEllie’sshoes?”

“No!Idon’twanthershoes.Ican’tfindmydinosaur,Daddy.”

“It’sonyourbed.Eleanor,putdownyourjuiceandfindyourshoesnow!”

“ButI’mfirstyyyyy!”

“Shoes,Eleanor!Dinosaur,Elijah!Now!”Heleanedagainstthebanister,pinching

thebridgeofhisnose.Hisnostrilsflaredashetookadeepbreath,andwithhiseyesshut,
itwaseasytosayhewasalreadyoverthisday.

Allright,sohewasn’thustlinglikeabossofherdingthemlikesheep.Hewasmore

kindathrowingoutinstructionsandhopingsomethingwouldstickandthatoneofthem
wouldlistentohim.

Huh.Maybeitwaskindalikeherdingsheep…

“Morning,”hesaid,muchbrighter,droppinghishandfromhisface.Hiseyes

sparkledalittlewhentheymetmine.“WelcometoHell.Atleastthere’saircon.”

Icouldn’thelpit.Iburstoutlaughing.Ittookallmyconcentrationtocovermy

mouthwithmyhandtocontrolit.“Youlooksmartthismorning.”

Smart.Sexy.Panty-melting.Theywereinterchangeable,right?

Hesighed,tuggingatthelapelofhissuitjacket.“Workwontoday.Ihavetogoand

introducemyselfandheadupabigmeeting.Easiersaidthandonewhenyouhavetoget
kidstodaycarefirst.”

“Ican’tfindshoeeeees!”Elliescreamed.“Ewistolethem!”

“Ididnot!”Elishoutedback.“Youwon’tgivememydinosaur!”

“Youcanhaditwhenyougivememyshoes!”

IslidmyeyestowardthelivingroomwhereWorldWarThreewasapparently

starting.“Wow.That’sfun.”

“Don’t,”Brantleygroaned.“Eleanor,giveElijahthedinosaur.Elijah,returnyour

sister’sshoestoherrightnow,oryougowithoutthedinosaurandwithoutshoes!You
havetwominutes!”

“Shoeless.Pullingoutthebigguns,”Inoted.

“Desperatetimescallfordesperatemeasures.WhichiswhyI’llbebuyingwhiskey

onmywayhomefromworkformycoffeenexttimeIhavetogointotheoffice,”he
added,stalkingintothefrontroom.“Elijah.”

“Idon’thadhershoes!”Eliyelled.“Sheputthemunderthecoffeetable!”

Ibittheinsideofmycheek.Ha!

Ellienarrowedhereyes.“No,Ididn’t!”

Brantleysighedandgotonhisknees.

Boy,ifIthoughthisasswasgoodinjeansandsweats…

Iclearedmythroatandlookedaway.

“Dinosaur,now.”Hedemanded.

IpeekedbackintimetoseeBrantleyswapthedinosaurforhershoes.

“Car,Elijah.Now.”Hepointedtowardthedoor.

Elimutteredsomethingaboutitnotbeingfairbecausedaycaresucked,buthe

stompedoff,stormingrightpastme.

“You.Shoes.”BrantleygaveEllieadeathstare.

Wordlessly,sheputthemon,redoingtheVelcrofourtimesbeforeshewashappy

withit.

“Car,please.”Brantleypointedtothedoor.

Elliestaredathim,herheadturningasshewalked.

“Sofa!”

Shejumped,movingoutofthewayofthesofaandwalkingintoit.

Brantleyrubbedhiseyes,blowingoutalong,slowbreath.“Ineedanapalready.”

Ilaughedashescootedpastmeandputbothkidsinthecar.Allright,Ienjoyedthe

viewashebentoverinsidethecar,too.

Heslammedthedoorshut.“Youhearthat?That’ssilence.It’lllastfor—”

Amuffledscreamcamefrominsidethecar.

“Thatlong,”hesighed.Hereachedinsideandgrabbedthetwobackpacksonthe

floorbythedoor—plusEllie’smonkey.“Okay,uh—”

Anotherscream.

“Godfuckinghelpme,”hemuttered,thenmetmyeyeswithawrysmile.“You’llbe

donebeforeIgetbacktonight,buthelpyourselftocoffeeorwaterorwhat—”

“Goaway!”

“Go.”Ibarelymanagedtokeepmylaughterinside.“Igotit.”

Hesmiledgratefullyandheadedforthecar.

Ihadnoideahowhedidit.

***

Iwascoveredinpinkpaint.Honestly,IlookedlikeBarbiehadthrownuponme.

Forwhateverreason,todayhadnotbeenmyfriend,andtodaywasthereasonIneverput
theflooringinbeforethepaint.

Itwaseverywhere.NotonlyhadIaccidentallysteppedintotherollertray,but

sometimearoundlunch,I’ddroppedthepaintbrushIwasusingtoedgearoundtheceiling
andithadhitmesquareintheforehead.

Thebristlesideofthebrush,thatis.

So,therewasbubblegum-pinkpaintonmyforeheadandinmyhair.Iwaspretty

sureit’dmanagedtodripdownbeneathmyshirtatsomepoint,somyboobshadgottena
makeover,too.

Ihadn’tdaredtouchEli’sroom.NotthatI’dtimewithTheGreatMondayBattleof

thePaint.

Drivinghomebarefoothadbeenajoy,too.ThebootsIalwaysworetoworkhad

becomemymostcomfortableshoes,andI’dneveractuallydrivenbarefootinmylife.

Ineverwantedtodoitagain,either.

Islammedmyfrontdoorshutbehindmeandinstantlywentupstairstomy

bathroom.TheonlythingIwantedwasashower—Ineededit,too,sinceIwassupposed
togotomyparents’toseehowDadwasgettingonwiththetwins’beds.

Thehotwaterwasamazingasitbeatdownonme.IscrubbedandscrubbeduntilI

wasredalloverandtherewasn’tsomuchasadropofpaintonme.

Itfeltsodamngoodtobeclean.

Isteppedoutoftheshowerandwrappedmyselfintowels.Isecuredatowelturban

ontopofmyheadandkilledthewater.Withtherushofsilenceasthewatershutoffcame
thedistantsoundofmyphoneringing.

“Shit!”Ijumpedfromthebathrugtothecarpetedhallway,onlyjustmakingit.The

lastthingIneededrightnowwastoslipandfallonmyassandbreakabone.

IdarteddownthestairstowhereI’ddumpedmyphoneonthehallwaysidetable

withmykeys.It’dstoppedringing,butIgrabbeditanywayandcheckedthecalllist.

Threemissedcalls:Brantley.

Ifrowned.

Thatwas…overkill.

Iwasstillstaringatmyphonewhenitbuzzedviolently,followingupwitha

shriekingring.

Jesus.Ihadtoturnthatvolumedown.

Brantley’snamewasonthescreen,andIswalloweddownthemildpanicatthe

numberoftimeshe’dtriedtocallme.HadIdonesomethingwrong?Troddenpaint
throughhishouse?

Iwasn’tsure,but…

“Hello?”Iansweredonthefifthring,onlyjustgettingitbeforeitwouldgooverto

voicemail.

“ThankGod.Kali?”Hewasrushed—histonetight,frustrated,helpless.

“Yeah.Issomethingwrong?Ihaveabunchofmissedcallsfromyou.”

“Yes.No.Ineedyourhelp—doyouknowanyonewhowouldbeabletogetthe

twinsforme?”hesaidquickly,almosttooquickly.

Iclutchedmytowelatmychest.“Whoa,whoa.Slowdown.Whydoyouneed

someonetogetthetwins?”

Thelinecrackledasheexhaledheavily.“Mymeetinggotpushedback.Theother

companywasflyinginfromoutofstate,andtheirflightgotdelayed.We’realmostdone,
butit’srushhourandI’llnevergetbacktotownontimetogetthem.”

Crap.

“Can’tSummerkeepthemalittlelonger?”

“No.Somethingabouthergrandparentscomingtotownforherparents’anniversary

dinnerorshewould.”

Doublecrap.

“You’retheonlyotherpersonIknow.Canyouthinkofanyone?”

Inibbledtheinsideofmylip.Itstungslightly,andIthoughtofhowI’dhaveto

explainthisonetomyparentswithoutmymomgettingideas…

“Icangetthem,”IsaidbeforeIcouldchangemymind.“Theyknowme,right?I

knowwherethesparekeyis.Icantakethemhome.”

“Areyousure?Fuck,no,Kali.Ican’taskyoutodothis.”

“You’renotaskingme.I’moffering.You’llbewhat,anhour?Two?”

“TwoifI’mlucky.”Hepaused.“Howsooncanyoubethere?”

“Uhh…”Ipulledmyphoneawayfrommyearandcheckedthetime.“Atleasthalf

anhour.Iwasintheshowerwhenyoucalled.”

Silenceforamoment.

“Brantley?”

“Sorry.Someoneyelledatme.”

Hmm.Ismelledbullshit.

“Halfanhourshouldbefine.Jesus,Kali.Thankyousomuch.”

“It’snotaproblem,”Ireplied.“I’llheadoverthereassoonasIcan,okay?”

“Thankyou.Hey—there’sgroundbeefinthefridge.Iwasgoingtomakethem

spaghetti…”Hetrailedoff.

“Stoppanicking.AsidefromthefactElibarelyspeakstome,I’msureIcanmanage

fortwohours.”

Helaughed,albeitabitnervously.“Keepthatconfidence.You’llneedit.”

“Reassuring,”Isaiddryly,headingupstairs.“CallSummer.Don’tpanic.Igotthis.”

“Bravewoman.”Then,heclickedofftheline.

Istoppedatthetopofthestairs.

WhatthehellwasIdoing?

***

Brantley:Summerhassparecarseatsandshe’llfitthem.I’mtryingtogetoutof

here.

Me:Itoldyou.Igotthis.

AndIdid.SummerwasfittingthoseseatsinthebackofmytruckasItextedhim

back.Itriednottoputhispanicintoaboxthatsaidhedidn’ttrustme,becausehehadto
knowthey’dbesafewithme.

WhetherI’dbesafewiththemwasanothermatterentirely.

No,hewasn’tpanickingbecausehedidn’ttrustme.Hewaspanickingbecausehe

didn’twanttobethatpersonwhoimposedonanother.

Hell,I’dalreadyliedtomyparents.

No,it’sfine,I’dsaid.JustsomethinginworkthatIhavetodealwith.I’llcomeby

tomorrow,I’dpromised.

SomethingelseIwoulddotomorrowwouldbetogetbacktobasics.Justdotheir

rooms.Nothelphim.Showupafterhe’dleftandleavebeforehegothomewhereIcould.

Ihadtoputsomedistancebetweenmyselfandthisfamily,becauseasIwatchedthe

twinsgrinasSummerusheredthemovertomytruck,myheartsoftened.

Iwasgettingalittleattachedtotheseadorablekids,anditwasnowonder.They

foughtlikecatanddog,buttheywerethesweetestthings.

Yeah,shit.Ineededdistance.Soon.

“Kawi!Where’sDaddy?”Ellieboundeduptomeandhuggedmylegs.

Awkwardly,Ipattedhershoulder.“Daddy’sstuckatwork,soI’dsaidI’dtakeyou

homeandmakeyouspaghetti.Isthatokay?”

Shenoddedenthusiastically,eyessparklingwithalargerthanlifegrinonherface.

“Yes!Arewegoinginyourbigcar?”

“Sureare.MissSummerputseatsinthebackforyou.See?”Ipointed.“Climbup

andover.”

Ellieexaminedtheheightofthetruckforamoment.Then,shecockedaleg,puther

footonthedoor,andtriedtoheaveherselfup.

Summerburstintolaughter.“Comehere,chickee.You’renevergettingyourselfin

there.”SheleftElistandingontheedgeofthegrassandhelpedgiveEllieafoot-upinto
mytruck.“Eli?”shesaid,turningbacktohim.“Comeon,sweetie.I’llhelpyouintoKali’s
truck.”

Silently,hewalkedoverandwaitedforSummertolifthimupandintohisseat.She

didthestrapsthatwentoverhisarms,clippedhimin,thenshutthedoorandwenttodo
Ellie’sseat,too.

Iswallowedhard.

Thegravityofthesituationweigheddownonmequicklyandheavily.

Ihavenoideahowtolookaftertwochildren.

Imean,I’dknownthatbeforeI’dagreed,butitseemedlikeagoodideauntilthey

wereinmycar.Now,Iwasactuallyinchargeofthem,andJesus—Icouldn’tkeepahouse
plantalive!

HowdidIkeepchildrenalive?

Twohours,butstill.

Alotcouldhappenintwohours.

Likeregret.

Summerhalf-smiledasshecamebackaroundtomysideofthecar.“You’re

regrettingthisalready,aren’tyou?”

“Let’ssayIagreedbeforeI’dthoughtitthroughandleaveitatthat,”Isaidwarily.

“Idon’thavethetiniestcluehowtolookafterkids.”

Shelaughed,atiny,tinklygigglethatmademejealousofthefactItendedtosnort

moreoftenthannotwhenIlaughed.“Don’tworry,”shesaid,tuckingherbright,blond
hairbehindherears.“You’llbefine.Theyknowyou,right?Ellie’sdonenothingbuttalk
aboutyoualldaylong.”

Oh,boy.

“Shehas?”

“Yousoundalarmed.”

“Iam.”Ilaughednervously,glancinginmytruck.Elliebobbedherheadfromside

toside,singingsomethingIcouldn’tmakeout.Elisatquietly,pokingthespotsonhis
dinosaurone-by-one.Hislipsmoved,butifhewascountingoutloud,Icouldn’thearit
overhissister’sdin.

Summer’ssmilebecameawidegrin.“He’sacutie,isn’the?Shyasanything,

though.They’retotaloppositestosaythey’retwins.”

Inoddedinagreement.“Ifhesaysanythingaboveawhispertometoday,I’llcount

itasawin.”

Morelaughter.Shetouchedmyarm.“You’llbefine.Honestly,havealittlefaithin

yourself,Kali.You’lldoperfectly.”

“Havefunatdinnertonight.”

Shebeamed.“Thanks!Havefunwiththosesweethearts!”

Ismiled.

Honestly,Ithinkitcameoutmorealarmedthananythingelse.Ifshewasreferring

tothemassweethearts,they’dobviouslysnappedoutofthismornings’dreadfulmood.

Igotintothetruckandstartedtheengine.“Right.Readytogo?”

“Woohoo!”Elliethrewherarmsintheair.“Yes!Wet’sgo!”

Elinodded,amoveIsawinmyrearviewmirror.

Itookadeepbreathandpulledaway.

Andsaidalittleprayerwe’dallmakeittobedtimewithoutanyonegettinghurt.

ChapterTwelve

“Okay,no.”Iwavedmyarms.Literallywavedthem.IimaginedIlookedlikea

babybirdtryingtoflyforthefirsttime.“We’renotfightingovertheremotecontrol.”

Theybothswiveledtheirheadstowardme.Theirexpressionswereidentical—wide

eyes,partedmouths,redcheeks.

God,itwassoweird.

“It’sbeentwentyminutes.We’renotfightingalready.I’mtryingtocook.So,here’s

whatwe’lldo.We’llpickashoweverybodylikes,andthenI’lllookaftertheremote.”I
pluckedthecontrollerfromtheirhands.

Or…Itriedto.

WhatreallyhappenedwasthatIwrestledit.

I’mnotproudofthat.

Severaltugsandgentlechopsontheirwristslater,Imanagedtoextracttheremote

fromtheirsurprisingly-tightgripsandheldituphigh.

“Okay,”Isaidslowly,goingtotheTVguideandfindingthe‘Kids’section.“What

arewewatching?”

“Sofia!”Ellieshouted.

“No,Twansformers!”Eliyelledather.

“No,Sofia!”

“No,Twansformers!”

Help.Someonehelp.

“Well,youcan’tbothwatchdifferentshows,”Italkedoverthem.“Youhavesixty

secondstoagreeonashowI’llreadouttoyoubeforeImakeachoiceforyou.Deal?”

Theybothgrumbledaboutit.

“Okay.ThereisSofiatheFirst,PeppaPig,Calliou—”

“We’renotawowedtowatchCawiou,”Elisaidsoftly.“Daddysaidhe’snaughty.”

Ellienoddedenthusiastically.“DaddysaidCawiouisalittleshit.”

Ifroze.

Didshejust—

Ichokedbackamixtureofshockandlaugh.“Well,Daddyisverynaughty,too.

That’sabadword,Ellie,andyoushouldn’trepeatthat.”

“Itis?”

“Yes.It’sonlyforgrown-ups.”

“CanIsayitwhenI’mfirteen?”

“Youcansayitwhenyoutouchtheceilingwithoutclimbingonfurnitureorgoing

onyourtippy-toes,”Isaidtoher.

Elilookedatmeandthentheceiling.“Canyoutouchtheseewing,Kawi?”

Hey.Hewasn’twhispering!

Iglancedupward.“Uh,Idon’tknow.”

“Twy!”Theybothsaid,clappingtheirhandsthreetimesinunison.

Ihesitated,buttheexpectantwaytheybothgrinnedatmebrokemedown.“Okay.

I’lltry.”IreachedupasfarasIcould,stretchingrightout,butmyfingerscameaninchor
twoshortoftheceiling.

Damnit.

“You’renotawowedtosaythenaughtywords!”Ellieexclaimed,climbinguponto

thesofaandgettingacloserlookatthegapbetweenmyfingertipsandtheceiling.

“You’retoosmall,”Elisaid.“Yougottagrowsomemore.”

Iwasscrewed,then.

“Lookslikeit,”Iagreed.“HowabouttheTV?NotoCalliou.There’sSpongebob

Squarepants—”Hey,ashowIknew!“—Or…PawPatrol.”

“PawPatrol!”theyshouted,scramblingtosittogetheronthesofa.“PawPatrol!”

ThankGod.

Ihitthatchannel,andwhenanincrediblyannoyingthemetunefilledtheair,Ileft

theroom,takingthecontrollerwithme.

Iwasn’tgoingtocopewithanymorefighting.Notthissoonintomybabysitting

session.Nope.

Thegroundbeefonthebaseofthepanhadburnedslightly.Nowonder—their

fightinghadoverriddenmyabilitytomakethechoicetoturnthedamnheatdownbefore
I’dgoneinthere.

Withasigh,IscrapedtheburnedmeatthebestIcouldanddraineditallofoilover

thesink.Ithrewthejarofsauceintothepan,thenreplacedthemeat,andstirred.

Thespaghettibubbledover,soIturneditdownsoitdidn’tsplasheverywhere.

Therewasstillsilenceinthefrontroomwhichwasbothwelcomedandslightlyworrying.
Idashedquicklytopeek.

Theywerecuddledtogether,Elisuckinghisthumbastheywatched.

IknewBrantleydidn’treallylikehimsuckinghisthumb,butIwaspickingmy

battles,andthiswasnotoneoftheonesIwantedtofight.

Ijustwantedtofeedthem.

IfIcoulddothatwithoutanotherargumentbetweenthem,I’dbeokay.

Right?

Right.

IstirredtheBolognesemix.Itsmelledgood,andImentallypattedmyselfonthe

back.

Untiltherewasascreamfromthefrontroom.

Idroppedthespoon,splatteringsauceeverywhere,includingonmyself,andran.

EllieandEliwerepushingandshovingateachother,andhehadholdofafistfulof

Ellie’shair.

“Hey!Whoa!No!”IrushedtothemandremovedEli’sclawedhandfromEllie’s

hair.“What’sthatallabout?”

“Hepinchedme!”EllieshoutedatthesametimeElisaid,“Shehitme!”

Icoveredmyfacewithmyhands.“Okay,comeintothekitchen.Oppositeendsof

thetable.Yourdinnerisdone.”

“ButIwannawatchPawPatrol,”Elliewhined.

“Nope.Wetriedthat,butyoufought.Kitchenfordinner,please.”

Theybothslopedoffthesofaandsulkedtheirwaytothetable.Theydidasthey

weretold,takingtheirseatsattheoppositeendsofthesofa.Iblewoutalongbreathand
searchedfortheirplates.

“Nexttothefwidge,”Elliesaid.

“Huh?”

“Ourpwates.”Shesmiled.

“Oh,thanks.”Icrossedthekitchenfortheplatesandpulledtwoout.

Minuteslater,theywerebotheatingsilently,slurpingspaghettiup.Thesaucewent

everywhereexceptintheirmouths.Overtheircheeks,ontheirnoses,downtheirnecks…
Rightdowntheirshirts.

“Good?”Iasked.

Theybothturned,grinningatmewithhalf-orangefaces.

ItwaslikeWillyWonkahadlethisOompaloompasfreeinRockBay.

Ellieevenmanagedtogetitinherhair.

Oh,dear.

Theyweregoingtoneedabath.

***

Inhindsight,whatIshouldhavedonewascleanedthemupwithawetclothand

waiteduntilBrantleygothomefromwork.

Inhindsight,Iwasafuckingidiot.

Iwasafuckingsoakingwetidiot,tobeprecise.

Whoknewthatsaying,“Pleasestopsplashing!”meant,“Hey,splashsomemore!”

Notme.Nobodyevertoldmethat.

Evenreversepsychologydidn’twork.IpretendedIdidn’tcaretheysplashedmore,

andsotheysplashedmore.

Itwasprettyinconvenient,actually,giventhatIwaswearingawhiteshirt.Ishould

haveknownbetterthantodothat,becauseitwasdecidedlylesswhitethanithadbeen
whenI’dputiton.

Spaghettisauceandbathtubwaterwerenotfriendsofwhiteshirts.

Ormysanity.

So,hereIsat,onthetoilet—withtheseatdown—watchingthemastheysplashed

eachotherandcausedtheGreatFloodofMonday.Theydidn’tcareabit,ofcourse.

Me?Well,Ikeptcreepinglooksatmyphone.Thetime?WasBrantleyhomeyet?

Wouldheretrievehisdemonsfromme?

Timepassed.

Sodidthetwins’abilitytokeepwaterinthetub.

Until,finally,throughtheirshrieksofdelight,adoorsoundeddownstairs.

Itopened.

Itclosed.

Istaredatthewall.

“Daddyyyyy!”Elliescreamed.

“Daddy!”Elifollowedsuitwith.

“Help,”Iwhispered.

Theysplashedeachotherextraloud.

“Oh,hell,”Brantleysaid,stormingupthestairs.

Slowly,Iturnedmyfacetohis.Iwassoakingwet,frommylittlesockstomyhair

andeverythinginbetween.“Imadeabadchoice.”

Herubbedhishandoverhismouth.Hiseyesflittedacrossthebathroom,fromthe

soakingtwinstothedrippingwallandtheminiatureswimmingpoolthatwasnow
formingonthebathroomfloor.

WhowasIkidding?It’dbeenformingforthepasttenminutes.

Severalemotionsflittedacrosshisface,buttheoneIwasn’texpectingwastheone

hehitmewith.

Amusement.

Pure,raw,silentlaughter.

“How’sthatconfidenceworkingoutforya,sweetcheeks?”Hegrinned,leaning

againstthedoorframe.

Iglaredathim.

“Daddy!”Ellieshouted.“Kawigaveusskettiandabaff,look!”

“Iclean!”Elishouted.“Soshiny!”

“Sowet,”Brantleysaid,pushingofftheframeandshruggingoffhissuitjacket.He

tuggedathistie.“Youreadytogetoutnow?Cleanhair,cleantummies?”

Theybothlookedattheirstomachs.“Clean,”theysaid.“Cleanhair,”Ellieadded.

Brantleylookedatme.

“Cleanhair,”Iechoed.

Helaughed.“Allright.Ellie,Eli,one,two,out.”Heturned,openedadoor,and

brandishedtwotowelsfromacupboard.“Let’sgetwarmanddryandintobed.”

“But—”theybothsaid.

“No.”Brantleywiggledatowel.“Out.”

Elliewasthefirsttogetout.Hertinybodywastintedpinkwiththewarmthofthe

waterdespiteknowingitwasn’ttoohot,andherhairhungdownherbackinstringy,
lightlycurledstrands.

Brantleywrappedherinatowel,andIavertedmyeyesasEliclimbedoutafterhis

sister.

“Bedroom,”Brantleysaid.“Underwearandpajamas.Givemefivesecondsto

change,okay?”

Bothtwinsnodded.ElliedisappearedintowhatIknewwouldbethespareroom,Eli

intoBrantley’sroom.

Brantleyleftmealoneinthebathroom.Ipulledthepluginthebathroomandslowly

mademywayacrossthehall.Ineededanothershower,thatmuchwasforsure.

“Kali.”

Istoppedatthetopofthestairsandlookedovermyshoulder.“Yeah?”

“Here.”Brantleythrewalight-grayt-shirtinmydirection.“Don’tstayinawet

shirt.”

Um,thatwashisshirt.

“Ican’t.”Ihelditouttohim.“Thisisyours.”

Heclosedhishandovermine,eyesonmine,andsaid,“They’llbeinbedinfifteen

minutes.Youwannawaitfifteenminutesinawetshirt?”

“No.Iintendedonleavingrightnow.”

“Don’t.”Deep,husky,raw.“Wait.Okay?”

Iswallowedhard,lookingdownattheshirtinmyhands.

“Kali?”

“Okay,”Ireplied,clutchingittighttome.“I’llwait.”

“Eli!”Brantleyusheredhimoutofhisroom.“Intoyoursister’sroom.Let’sget

changedrealquick.”HewinkedatmeandpointedtohisroomwhenElihadleftit.

Ismiled.Iwasgratefulfortheoffer,butitfeltalittlewrongtowearashirtthat

clearlybelongedtohim.Alotwrong.Hewasmyclient,notmyboyfriend.

WhywasIagreeingtothis?

Still,thesensationofwetfabricagainstmyskinwasgross,soIshutmyselfinhis

roomandchangedfrommytanktopintohisloosert-shirt.Itwashugeonme,soItiedthe
sideintoaknotatmyhip.Itmademefeelbetter,andalsohadmestaringdownatmyself
alittlelongerthananormal.

Softgray,theshirthuggedmytitsbeforelooseningaroundmystomachand

tighteningattheself-craftedhipknot.Thematerialmetmyshortsatthemostflattering
point,andIswallowedasIpushedmywetbangsawayfrommyforehead.

TonighthadshownmeexactlywhyIdidn’twantchildren.

IopenedthedoorandalmostcollidedwithBrantleyinthehall.Webothstilled,

eachofushalf-gaspingaswealmosttouched.

“IneedtoputElitobed,”hesaidsoftly.

“Right.Sure.”Islippedtotheside.“Goodnight,Eli.”

HepeeredoutfrombehindBrantleywithashysmile.“Night,Kali.”

Ismiledalittlewiderandgrippedthebanister.Hisgolden-brownhairwasstill

damp,butBrantleyusheredhimintotheroomallthesame.Heworenothingbutfitted,
navypantsandawhiteshirt.He’dunbuttonedtheshirtandrolledthesleevesuptohis
elbows.

Awkwardly,Ihoveredhalfwaydownthestairs.

DidIstay?DidIgo?Iwaswearingmyclient’st-shirt.Somanythingswerewrong

withthissituation.

“Daddy?”Ellieshuffledoutofherroom.“Ineedapwat.”

Brantleypokedhisheadoutofthedoor.“Canyougivemeacoupleminutes,

princess?”

Shepouted.

“Youwantaplait?”thewordsleftmymouthwithoutwarning.

Ellienoddedatme.

“Icandoyourhair,”Isaidsoftly.

Ellie’seyeswidenedandshelookedatBrantley.

Heshrugged.“IfKalicandoit,thensure.”

Inoddedandsmiled.“Comeon,Ellie.GrabmeahairbrushandtieandI’lldoitfor

you.”

Ifollowedherintoherroomandsatontheedgeofherbedwithmylegsparted.She

stoodbetweenmylegslikeshe’ddoneitathousandtimes,handingmethebrushandtie
withoutmovingherhead.

Gently,Ibrushedherwethair.Itmovedinthickstreaksuntilallknotshadgone,

andIseparateditintothreetobraidit.Left,right,left,right,leftright,left,right.Lockby
lock,Ibraidedherhairuntiltheperfectplaitlaydownthecenterofherback.

Itiedtheendofit,endingthebraidwithafewswifttwistsoftheband.

“Allright,”Brantleysaidsoftly.“Intobed,princess,okay?”

Ellienodded,turningbrieflytosmileatme.IfoughtmysmileasIstoodandheaded

backtowardthestairs.

Sheranherhanddowntheone,longbraidthatnowhungoverhershoulder.“Fanks,

Kawi.”

“You’rewelcome.”Ismiledandduckedoutoftheroom,headingdownstairssohe

couldputthemtobedinpeace.

Ituggedatthehemoftheshirt.Itwassoftandcomfortable,amilliontimesbetter

thanthewettanktop,therewasnodoubtaboutit.

Reachingthebottomofthestairs,Isighed,hoveringatthebottom,grippingonto

thebanister.Ididn’twanttoleave,butIalsoknewIcouldn’tstay.WhatdidIsay,though?
DidIoffertowashtheshirtandbringitbackthenextday?

God,whydidIacceptthatidea?

Iwanderedintothekitchen.FloorboardscreakedabovemyheadasBrantleymoved

around,andIleanedagainstthecounter,pickingmyphoneupandcheckingit.Ihada
hundredandonenotifications,includingemailsfromclientsandpotentialonesandtexts
frommymomdemandingtoknowtherealreasonIbailedtonight.

Fuckingawesome.

Thewomancouldseerightthroughme.

Iignoredthemessageandrepliedtoanemailrequestingaquoteforacustom-made

bookshelf.ThatwasDad’sterritory,butIdidn’tthinkmymomwouldappreciateme
ignoringherandtextinghim,sothatwouldgoontomorrow’sto-dolist.

“Hey.”Brantleyappearedinthekitchen.

Ijumped,almostdroppingmyphone.Myheartthunderedwiththeshockofhis

arrival.

Hefoughtalaugh.“Sorry.Ididn’tmeantoscareyou.”

Ipressedmyhandtomychestandwavedmyphoneinadismissiveway.“Working.

Ihaveemailsoutmyass.”

“That’saninterestinganalogy.”Hepausedrightinfrontofme.“Ihavetoadmit,

that’sthefirsttimeI’veseenashirtofminewornthatway.”

Iglancedattheknotatmyhip.“Oh—sorry.Ididn’tmeantostretchit.Ididn’t

think.”

Imovedtoundoit,buthegrabbedmyhand,laughing.

“Don’tworryaboutit,Kali.It’sanoldshirt.Wearithoweveryouwant.”

Myskintingledwherehishandhadholdofmine.Upanddownmyarm,acrossmy

palm,acrossmyknuckles…Ipracticallybuzzedwiththesensationofhishotskinagainst
mine.

Ipulledmyhandfromhisandtookatinystepback.“Thanks.I’llwashitandreturn

it,Ipromise.”

“Don’tworry.”Hislipstuggedtotheside.Onceagain,hiseyesrovedoverme,

flickingdowntothefadedimageonthefrontoftheshirtforasecond.“Iwantedtosay
thankyouforhelpingmeouttonight.YouhavenoideahowmuchIappreciateit.”

Mycheeksheatedslightly.“It’sokay.Imean,IhavetobehonestandsayIprobably

won’trushtodoitagain…”

Hislaughtercutmeoff.“Don’tworry—Itoldthemthatiftheydothisagain,they’ll

havetoreschedule.”

“Andtheydidn’tcare?”

“They’renotallowedtocare.I’mtheheadofthedepartment.Theyhavetodowhat

Isay.”Hegrinned,pushingoffthecounterandheadingforthefridge.

“Ah,well,Icanseehowthatwouldbeuseful.”

“Youcouldsaythat.”Hepaused.“Hey…Ididn’tgetachancetoeatyet.Iwas

goingtoorderin.Doyouwanttojoinme?”

Fordinner?

That’snotinmy“distance”plan.

“I…Ireallyshouldbegoinghome.”Iswallowed.“But,thankyouforasking.That’s

sweet.”

Hesmirked,pullingabeerbottlefromthefridge.“Okay,I’llrephrase.I’mordering

pizzabecausethereisn’tasingleboneinmybodythatwantstofuckingcook,andyou
shouldtellmewhatpizzayoulike,becauseI’mbuyingyoudinner.”

“Oh,boy,that’sthemostromanticproposalI’vehadallmonth.”

“I’mguessingyou’reapepperonigirl.”

“That’spresumptuous.”

“AmIwrong?”

Ihesitated.“Yes.”

Turquoiseeyesflickedacrossmyface.“You’reaterribleliar.”

“Itry.”Ipushedmystill-damphairbehindmyear.Kids.“Honestly,it’sfine.”

HepushedthefridgedoorshutandusedamagnetintheshapeofColoradostateto

uncaphisbeer.Hereplaceditonthedoorwithaclick.“Didyoueattonight?”

Iwenttoanswer,butnothingcameout.

Brantleyraisedaneyebrow.“I’lltakethatasano.”

“It’sfine,”Iinsisted.“Icangohomeandheatsomethingrealquick.Youmightnot

besurprisedtoknowthatmystepmomregularlyhandsmeTupperwaretubsoffood.”

Hepaused.“Yourstepmom?”

Crap.Hedidn’tknowPortiawasn’tmyrealmom.Iforgotthatnoteverybodyknew

that.

“Um,yeah.”Isetmyphonedownandmyhandsinstantlywenttofidgetwiththe

hemofmyshirt.“Mymomisn’tmyrealmom.”

Heblinkedatme.“Now,I’mdefinitelyorderingpizza.”

“No,you—”

HelefttheroombeforeIcouldfinishmysentence.Ichasedafterhim,butbythe

timeIjoinedhiminthelivingroom,Iwasgreetedbythesoundof“Hi,yes,I’dliketo
placeanorderfortwopizzas,please.”

I’dlostthisround.

Fine.

Iwasared-blooded,humanwoman.

Iwasn’tgoingtoturndownfreepizza.

Myasswouldn’tthankmeforit,butyoucouldbetyoursthatmysoulwouldthrow

afuckingparty.

Brantleysmirkedasheplacedtheorderandhandedoverhiscarddetails.Honestly,

hewasluckyIhadaterriblememory.IfIhadabetterone,I’dbeabletobuymorethan
justpizzaonhisdime.

Asitwas,Icouldn’tevenremembermyownphonenumber.Nevermindanycard

details.

Hehungupandputhisphoneonthecoffeetable.“Domeafavor?”

“Ialreadyletyoubuymedinnerwithoutcausingafuss.”

“Sitdownandletmegetyouwine.”

“Thatsoundsmorethananorderthanafavor.”

“Favor…Order…Interchangeable.”

Istaredathim.No,no,theyweren’t.“Actually,they’recompletelydifferent.A

favorissomethingagreeduponbetweentwopeople.Anorderissomethinggivenbyone
personandfollowedbytheother.”

“Interchangeable,”hereplied.”

“No.Thepersononthereceivingendoftheorderdoesn’thavetoagree.”

“Areyoualwaysthispedantic?”

Ipaused.“Onlyifthepersontellingmethingsisincorrect.”

“Byincorrect,youmean‘idiotic,’right?”

“Ah,look—youunderstandmemorethanyouthought.”

Laughterfilledtheroom.Thatdeep,raw,roughsoundthatforcedgoosebumpsonto

myarmsmadethehairsonthebackofmyneckstandonend.

Slow,easystepsclosedthedistancebetweenus.

“Kali.”Brantleysaidmynameslowly,sexily,temptingly.Hesethishandsonmy

shoulders,pullingmeforwardasifmyfeetwerenothingmorethanhisslaves,untilI
stoodinfrontofthesofa.“Sit,”hesaid,pushingmedown.

Isat.

Heleftmethere,sittinginsilencewhilehewenttothekitchenandintothefridge.

Acupboard,aclink,theswishofafridgeclosing.

Returningtothefrontroom,Brantleyputaglassofwhitewineinfrontofme.He

droppedhimselfonthesofa,hisbeerdrippingwithcondensationasheputitonthetable.

“Justone,”hesaid.“Iknowyoudrove.It’stheleastIcandoafteryoulookedafter

myhellions.”

“They’reweren’ttoobad,”Isaidhonestly.“But,shit.IfeellikeIcouldrefereean

internationalsoccertournamentafterthis.”

“Don’t.Theydivealot.”

“They’reongrass.Howcantheydive?

Hestaredatme.“Youdon’twatchsoccer,doyou?”

“No.Baseballiswherethetightpantsareat.”

Heleanedbackonthesofaandlaughedatme.“Ofcourse.Allright—nevermind.

Tellmeaboutyourmom.Stepmom?”

Ishifteduneasily.IneverreallytalkedaboutPortiaormymom.Everyonehere

knewaboutmyfamily,soitwasneveranissue.

“Yeah,”Isaidslowly.“Butshe’sjustmymom,really.”

ChapterThirteen

Helookedatme.Notjudgingly.Notevenexpectantly.Patiently.Waitingformeto

elaborate.

Iwasreadytorespondwhentherewasaknockatthedoor.Iknewthatwasthe

pizza—therewasonlyonepizzaplaceinRockBayandtheypridedthemselvesonsuper-
fastdelivery.

Freaky-fastdelivery,actually.

Brantleygotupandtooktheboxesfromtheyoungguywhowasresponsibleforit.

Thedoorclickedshut,andItuckedmylegsbeneathmybuttashesettheboxesonthe
coffeetableinfrontofus.

“Eatit,”hesaid.“It’smythankyouforhelpingme.Iknowyou’rehungry.”

Iglancedbetweentheboxandhim.Iwashungry,nodoubtaboutit,buttherewas

somethingabouthimbuyingmefoodthatdidn’tsitright.Nothingnefarious,butitfelt…
weird.

Still,Islidtheboxfromthetabletothesofainfrontofme.

Silently,Ipickedoffasliceofpepperoni,watchingasthehot,stringycheese

desperatelytriedtokeepitsprisonersafeontheslice.

Weate.Bothofus.Questionsfadedinthesilenceweshared.

Or,soIthought.

“Portia.Yourstepmom?”Brantley’squestioncameagainafterthreeslices.

Man,hewasn’tgoingtoletitlie,washe?

Ishutthelidofmyboxandoutitbackonthetable.“Yep.”

“Youdon’twanttotalkaboutit,doyou?”

“Ineverhaveto,”Iadmitted.“Everyonehereknowseverythingaboutme.That’s

whatlivinginasmalltowndoestoyou.”

“Idon’tknow,”hesaidsoftly.“ButI’dliketo.”

Icastmygazeoverhim.Overthatdarkhairandthosefulllipsandthatstubbleand

thosestrongshoulders.

Thosecompellinglybrighteyes.

“MymomdiedwhenIwasfive.”Ipulledmywineglassontomylap.

Brantleytookadeepbreath.“I’msorry.”

Idrainedtherestofthewineandlookedattheemptyglass.Wordsdancedonthe

endofmytongue,teasingandplaying.Inthetimethey’ddonethat,Brantleyhadgotten
upandreturnedwiththebottle.

Hefilledmyglass.“Ididn’tknow.”

“Whywouldyou?”Icradledthenow-fullglassinmyhands.“Youjustmoved

here.”

“True.”

Ilookedawayfromhim,sippingslowly,focusingonanythingbuthim.Anything

buthisgraysweatsandwhiteteesandmusclesthatwantedtodistractmefromreality.

“Whendidyoumeether?Yourstepmom?”Brantleyasked,voicesoftlikesilk.

“Howoldwereyou?”

Ididn’tevenglanceathimwhenIsaid,“Thirteen.”

“Really?”

Inodded.Once.“Ihatedherforthreemonths,thenshebecamemybestfriend.

She’sbeenmymomeversince.”

“YoucallherMom?”

Side-eyeinghim,Ismiled.“Ofcourse.Iwassoyoungwhenmymomdied.Meand

Dadwerealoneforyears.PortiacamealongwhenIneededhermost,andit’sjusthowwe
are.She’smymom,butshe’sadifferentkindofmom.She’llneverreplacemymother.”

Brantleytiltedhisheadtotheside.“Interesting.Iloveyourperspectiveonit.It’s

very…openandhonest.”

Ibroughtmyglasstomylipsandsipped.“Idon’tthinkit’smyperspective.It’sjust

howitis.”

“Yousayitlikeit’snothing.”

“Onthecontrary,it’severything.”Ipulledbothlegsupontothesofaandcrossed

them,Indian-style.Thebaseofmyglassrestedonmyankles,andIstaredintothe
swirlingmassofmywine.“Portiawastherewhennobodyelsewas.Sheguidedmewhen
Iwasalone.ShewasthefriendandsupportIneededwhenmyfatherwaslost.Our
relationshipisn’tperfect,butshe’sthebestfriendI’veeverknown.”

Brantleynoddedslowly.Hetippedhisbeerbottleup,drainingwhatwasinsideit.

Wordlessly,hegotup,retreatingtothekitchen.Icradledmyglassandstaredatwhere
he’dleftuntilheappearedagain.

Hehandedmethebottleofwine.

Againstmybetterjudgement,Ipoured.

Isetthehalf-emptybottlebackonthetable.

Hepoppedthecapofanotherbeer.Settledback.Sipped.Sighed.Breathedeasy.

“Movingonishard,”hesaidquietly,staringintothebrown-tintedneckoftheBudweiser
bottle.“Sometimesitseemsimpossible.Youjustmademefeellike,oneday,mykidswill
feelsomekindofhappiness.”

“Youthinktheyaren’thappy?”

“Iknowtheyaren’t.”

“You’rewrong.”

Hehitmewithhisbrightgaze.“Youthink?”

“Iknow.”Iglancedintomyglassbeforeoureyesmetagain.“Lookatthem,

Brantley.Theyloveyou.”

“Sure,theydo.Buthappinessissomethingelse.”

“They’rehappywithyou.Anyonewithabraincellcanseethat.”

Hestaredatme.

Reallystaredatme.

Movedclosertome,closingthedistancebetweenus.

“You’reagreatdad,”Isaidsoftly,cradlingmywineglass.“Youhavetoknowthat.”

“Ido,”hereplied.“ButIhavenochoice.I’magreatdadbecauseIhavetobe.

Becausewithoutmetheyhavenobody.”

“Youdon’tbelieveinyourselfenough.”Iturnedmyheadandfinishedwhatwasin

myglass.Itclinkedagainstthecoffeetable.“You’reanamazingfatherbecauseyoulove
thembeyondanythingIcouldeverunderstand.”

Hemetmyeyes.“Youknowlove,Kali.Iwatchedyoubraidmydaughter’shair

earlier.”

“Outofkindness.”Iswallowedhardandputmyglassdown.“Youwerebusy.She

wantedherhairbraided.Itwaseasy.”

Weird,tobeprecise.

Buteasy,sure.

Brantleyswiggedhisbarely-touchedbeerandputitdown.Hissighechoedoffthe

walls.

Ishouldn’tbehere.

Iputmyglassonthetable,closingmybarely-touchedpizza.Ihadtogohome.His

intentionshadbeengoodinbuyingmedinner,butthiswaswrong.MostlybecauseIdidn’t
reallywanttoleaveatall.

IlookeddownasIshuffledtowardtheedgeofthesofa.“Ishouldgo.I—”

“Kali.”Hereachedformeashesaidmyname.Hisfingersbrushedmylowerarm,

andItookadeepbreathin.

Brantley’shandraisedthenfell,hoveringclosetomyhairalmostasifhewasgoing

topushitbehindmyear.

Itookadeepbreathin.

Iwantedhimtokissme,butatthesametime,Iknewthatifhedid,I’dprobably

neverbeabletolookhimintheeyeagain.

“Don’t,”hesaidsoftly.“Youdon’thavetoleave.”

“Ido,I—”Thewordscaughtinmythroat.

Heglancedatmylips,andmytongueflickedoutacrossmylowerone.Hisjaw

twitchedashebroughthisgazebackuptomine.

Myheartthunderedagainstmyribs.

Yeah.Ineededtoleave.ButIcouldn’t.Iwasbasicallyfrozeninplace,eyesfocused

firmlyonthemesmerizingblueofBrantley’s.

Then—hedidit.

Touchedhislipstomine.

Kissedme.

Hishandsframedmyface,holdingmeinplace.Notthatheneededto.Icouldn’t

moveawayevenifIwantedto,becausehereIwas,leaningintohim,intothekiss,intohis
touch.

Hepulledback.Hislipshoveredinchesfrommine.Idrewinasharpbreath.His

handswerestillonmycheeks,andtherewasnowayhecouldn’tfeelthewaytheyheated
beneathhistouch.

Brantleymetmyeyesforasplitsecond,thenhekissedmeagain.Thistime,one

handslippedaroundthebackofmyneck.Myscalptingledashewoundhisfingersinmy
hair.

Thiskisswasharder,needier,moreinsistentthanthelast.

Likehe’dtestedthewater,andnow,hewasreadytodrown.

Ileanedrightintohim.Myfingersfoundhisshirtandrestedonhisstomach,fisting

thesoftcottonofhistee.

Closerandcloserwebecame.Hisotherhandtraineddownmybody,slidingaround

myback,pullingmeagainsthim.Histongueflickedattheseamofmymouth,andIlet
himkissmedeeper.

LethimdragmefurtherintotheregretIknewI’dfeelthesecondthisstopped.

Ididn’tcare.

Mywholebodywasalive.Skintingled,mychestburned,myheartbeatsocrazily

fastmypulsethunderedinmyears.

Everythingelsehadmeltedaway,justaslongashislipswereonmine.

Islidmyhandsuphisbody,cuppinghisneck.Ibarelyswallowedawhimperashe

draggedmylowerlipbetweenhisteeth,leaningbackonthecushionsandpullingmewith
him.

Hishandswentlower.Histhumbbrushedthebarestripofskinatthebaseofmy

backwherethet-shirtdidn’tquitemeetthewaistbandofmyshorts.Ishiveredatthe
fleetingtouch,and—

Ascreamrippedthroughtheair.

Agut-wrenching,ear-splittingscreamthathad,quitepossibly,justwokenthe

occupantsofthenearestgraveyard.

Theotherthingit’ddone?

BroughtbothmeandBrantleycrashingbackdowntoEarthwithonehellofa

fuckingthump.

“Fuck,”webothsaid.

But,Ibetitwasfordifferentreasons.

Ishuffledupthesofaashestoodandranoutoftheroom.Myheartwasstill

thumpingagainstmyribs,andIburiedmyfaceinmyhandsastherealityofwhathadjust
happenedfelldownontome.

Shit,shit,shit!

I’djustkissedmyclient.

Oh.

My.

God.

I’djustfuckingkissedmyclient,andLordabove,mybodydamnwellknewit,too.

Swollenlips,astruggletocatchmybreath—anachingfuckingclitoristhatthrobbed
insidemylittlelacypanties.

WhatthehellhadIdone?

Igrabbedmyphoneandstoodup.Icouldn’tseemyshirt,notthatIcouldwearit.

AtleastIhadn’tdrunksomuchwineIcouldn’tdrive.

God,IwishI’dhadmorewine.ThatmighthavemadethefactIjustkissedmy

clienteasiertobare.Blameitonthewineandnotmyinnerslut.

Yup.

Shit.

Iclutchedmyphonetomychestandwenttothehallwaytograbmykeysfromthe

bowlwhereI’dthrowntheminmyefforttohustlethekidsinsidewithoutlosingoneof
them.Theyclinkedandscrapedagainsttheglassbowl.

Thestairscreaked.

Ihesitated,handonthedoorhandle,andturnedmyheadbacktowardthestairs.

Brantleystoodhalfwaydown,leaningagainstthewall.Hishandgrippedthe

banister,makinghisknuckleswhite.Hishairprobablylookedinbettershapethanmine,
andhisshirtwasstupidlycrinkledwhereI’dgrabbedit.

“Everythingokay?”Iaskedlamely.

Henodded.“Ellie.Thoughttherewasacrocodileunderthebed.”

Mylipsstilltingledwherehe’dkissedme.

Four-year-olds:takingyoufromkissingtocrocodilesinunderasecond.

“Right.Gladshe’sfine.I,um…”Ipaused,glancingawaybriefly.“IthoughtI

shouldgo.It’sgettinglateandstuff,so…”

Christ,Kali.Justsaygoodbyeandbedonewithit.

Hedidn’treply.Juststaredatmewithhisunnaturallyturquoiseeyes—eyesthat,ifI

stoodthereformuchlonger,wouldprobablybeabletoseerightthroughme.

So,Ileft.

IwalkedthroughthedoorasquicklyasIpossiblycouldwithoutrunning,gotinmy

truck,andgotthehelloutoftherebeforeIdidanythingelsestupid.

ChapterFourteen

Jaydablinkedatme.“Well,you’reanidiot.”

Igroanedandwrappedmyhandsaroundthecoffeecup.“Iknowthat.Itoldyou

thatlikefivetimes.”

Sheleanedbackagainstmykitchencounter,pickingupherownmug.“Ican’t

believeI’mhereatsevena.m.inmypajamasbecauseyoucan’tkeepyourmouthto
yourself.”

Idroppedmyheadsomychintouchedmychestandclosedmyeyes.“Ididn’tkiss

himdeliberately.”

“No,no.I’msureyouslippedonabananapeelandyourmouthlandedonhis.”

“Hekissedme.”

“Thatmakestheworldofdifference.”

“Iknowitdoes.Thankyou.”

Shestaredatme.“Kali…That’scalledsarcasm.”

“Iknow.”Iproppedmychinuponmyhand.“I’mpretendingitwasn’tsoIfeel

betteraboutmymonumentalfuckup.”

Jaydapushedoffthecounterandjoinedmeatthetable.“Isitreallythatbad?So,

youkissedtheguy.He’shandsome,he’ssingle—you’resingle.Whoareyouhurting?”

“Well,nobody,but—”

“Suckitup,buttercup.Ifyoudon’twantittobeawkward,putyourmouthbackin

itscage.”

“It’sthenumberonerule,”Isaidbeforeshecouldcarryonwithherspeechthat

wouldultimatelyendwithtellingmetopullupmybiggirlpanties.“Don’tmixbusiness
withkissing.”

“You’renotverygoodatfollowingtherules.”

“Noshit.Sherlockbetterwatchout,oryourabilitytostatetheobviousisgoingto

puthimoutofajob.”

Shewavedherhand.“Cumberbatchwilltakeonelookatmeandnotmindatall.”

Irolledmyeyes.“Still,thepointremains.Don’tgetinvolvedwithclients.Italways

endsindisaster.”

“Um,didn’tyourdadmeetPortiaonajob?”

Ipaused.

Sheraisedaneyebrow.

“Yes,”Isaidslowly.“Buttheydidn’tgetinvolveduntilafterhewasdone.”Another

pause.“I’mprettysure.”

“Youbelievethatifitmakesyoufeelbetter,honey.”

“Don’thoneyme.Theonlypersonwhodoesthatismymomandshe’snota

sarcasticbitchlikeyou.”

Jaydagrinned,hermake-upfreeeyescrinklingattheedges.“Yourcomplimentis

heardandaccepted.”

Iflippedherthebird.“WhatamIsupposedtodonow?Ihavetoshowuptodayand

startpaintingandhe’sgoingtobethere.WhatamIsupposedtosaytohim?”

Shetappedablood-rednailagainstthetable.“I’dstartwithgoodmorning.”

Ohmygod.Shewassofuckingsarcastic.Iwasgoingtopinherdownandforce

somegenuineshitoutofhersoon.

“Thanksfortheadvice,Dr.Phil.Ihadn’tthoughtofthat,”Isaiddryly.“Butafter

that?“SorryIletyoukissmelastnight?Itwon’thappenagain?Howdareyoukissme
youbastard?””

Shetoyedwithalockofherhair.“Intheinterestofkeepingthisjob,nixthelast

idea.”

“Atleastyoufinallyansweredsensibly.”

Sherolledhereyes,plantedherforearmsonthetable,andleanedforward.“Kali.

Youkissedhim.Sowhat?You’ddonehimafavor,hethankedyouwithpizza,andyou
bothgotcarriedaway.It’snevergoingtohappenagainbecauseyou’retooprofessionalfor
that.Youweren’tworkingwhenyoukissed,soyoudidn’tbreaktherules,technically
speaking.”

“Ilikehowyou’velaidthatout.”

“You’rewelcome.”Shenoddedwithasolemnlookonherface.“Now,yougetover

it.Showuplikenothinghappenedanddoyourjob.Ifhe’satwork,problemsolved.Ifnot,
hehaskidstolookafterandwillleaveyoualone.”

Yeah,no.Shedidn’tknowEllieandEli.

“Justdealwithit.You’rebothadults,you’reunattached,andyou’refreetokiss

whoeveryoulikeinyourpersonaltime.Endoffreakout.”

Thatwaseasyforhertosay.

Itookadeepbreathandslowlyletitgo.“Allright.Whatyou’resayingis,showup,

actlikeitdidn’thappen,andpraylikefuckhe’sworkingintheofficetoday.”

Shewassilentforamoment.Then,shepursedherlipsandnodded.“That’sthegist

ofit,yeah.”

“Ugh.”

“Hey,itcouldbeworse,”shesaid,swipingthescreenonherphonetounlockit.

“CheckthismessageIgotfromawannabeCasanovalastnight.”

IslidherphonetowardmeandswiveleditsoIcouldread.““Hey,sawyourprofile.

You’rehot,””Iread.““Wannahavedinner?Don’twearunderwear,youwon’tneedthem
wherewe’regoing.””Ifinishedinaslowertone.“Hewantedyoutogocommandoona
date?

“Right.”Shetookherphoneback.“WhenImessagedhimback—”

“Whydidyoudothat?”

“Curiosity.Whydidn’tIneedunderwear?Wereweseeingagyno?That’stheonly

reasonIthinkunderwearisuseless,”shesaid.“Duh.So,Imessagehimback,andhetells
mehehasaleathersofaperfectforfuckingon.”

Ifrowned.“Hewantedyoupanty-lessonhisleathersofa?”

“Basically.”

“Doesn’theknowourvaginascleanthemselves?There’snothingremotely

comfortableaboutnotwearingpanties.Andyousureashelldon’tneedtobepanty-less
onaleathersofa.Nobodywantstocleanthatup.”

Jaydamadeagunwithherthumbandtwofingersandpointeditatme.“Boom.

There’smyreply.Thanks.”

Iblinked.“He’snotgoingtodateyouafteryousaythat.”

“Oh,Iknow.That’sagoodthing.But,hey—atleastyou’renotfreakingoutabout

HotDadanymore.”

Famouslastwords.

***

Ohmygod,Iwasgoingtobesick.

Iwasadreadfuladult.Iwasaterriblebusinesswoman,adreadfuladult,andan

inconsideratehumanbeing.

Allright,no,Iwasn’t.ButIfeltlikeit.

Iwasdefinitelygoingtobesick,though.

Nodoubtaboutit.

Thatwasdramatic.Anduntrue.Ohmygod,whatwaswrongwithme?Jaydawas

right.Wewereadultswhokissed.IwastheretodaytodoajobandIhadtodothat.

Iwishdoingthingswereaseasyassayingthem.

Thenagain,ifthathappened,IwouldhavegivenupTwizzlersyearsago.

IpulledupnexttoBrantley’scaronthedrive.Thefactthecarwastherewasn’t

evenremotelyreassuringtomyhopethathe’dbeattheofficeagaintoday.

Mindyou,himgoingtotheofficehadledtothekiss…

Man,Iwasbetweenarockandahardplace.AndtheonlyhardplaceIlikedbeing

upagainstwasapenis.

Itookadeepbreathandgotoutofthecar.Iworemyusualuniformofdenim

shorts,awhitetank,andaplaidshirt.Ihadtoownmoreplaidshirtsthantheguysin
Outlanderdidkilts,butIlikedthem.Forwork,thatwas.

IrememberedtograbBrantley’sshirt—thatI’dwashedanddriedovernight—from

thepassengerseat.Foldingitupsmaller,IhelditagainstmystomachasIlockedthetruck
andheadedtowardthefrontdoor.

Knock,knock,knock.

“Comein,Kali!”Brantleyshoutedfromsomewhereinside.

Istaredatthedoorhandlelikeitwantedtoeatme.

Thedoorswungopenofitsownaccord.

And,standingthere,infrontofme,wasEli.Wearingnothingbutstripedunderwear,

rainboots,andasuperherocape.Aredmasktheexactcolorofthecapecoveredhiseyes.

Iblinkedathim.

“Kawi!”hesaidenthusiastically.“Comein!”

“Um,thankyou?”Isteppedinside.“Nice…outfit?”

HebeamedatmelikeI’dpaidhimthegreatestcomplimentever.Then,hepulled

someninja-moves,slicinghisarmsthroughtheairbeforeheliftedhislegandkickedthe
doorshut.“Kachow!I’mNinja-Man!”

“Eli!”Brantleygroaned.“WhathaveItoldyouaboutkickingdoorsshut?”

Elispedintothefrontroomandheldhishandsbeforehiminaready-to-attack

position.“Ninja-Mandoesn’thaverules!Zoom!Zoom!Zoom!”Heranaroundtheroom
incircles.

Elliesatinthearmchair,wearingaglitterytutuandacrown.Satiny-lookinggloves

coveredherhandsandarmsuptoherelbows,andbothwristsandseveralfingerswere
adornedwithplasticjewelry.

Ah.

Theywereplayingdress-up.

WhyEliwaswearingunderwearandrainbootswassomethingIwasinterestedin,

though.

“Hi.”Brantleyshotmeawearyandawkwardsmile.

“Hi.ShouldIask?”

“Asarule…no.”

“Hi,Kawi!I’mapwincess!Youhastocurt-sawtome.”

Brantleyclappedhishandagainsthisforehead.“Curtsey,Ellie.See,notsaw.”

Shefrownedandlookedathim.“Curt-sawingismorefun.Looksee.”Shejumped

upandbentherknees,thenrockedsidetoside.“See?That’sacurt-saw.”

Iblinkedather.

Shehadapoint.

Brantleyclearlyfeltsimilarlytome.“Awesome.WouldHerHighnessenjoyafruit

snack?”

“Acandysnack,”Elliecountered.

“Zoom,zoom,zoom!”Eliheldhisarmsoutwide,grippinghiscape,andranright

betweenwhereElliewasstandingandBrantleywaskneelingonthefloor.

Brantleyeyedhim.“Someonealreadyfoundthecandy,soit’sfruitornothing,I’m

afraid.”

Ahh.

Thatmadesomuchmoresense.

“Allright.Well,then.I’mgoingtoheadonupstairsandgetstarted.”Icockedmy

thumbovermyshoulderinthegeneraldirectionofthestairs.“I’llleaveyouto…this.”

Brantleycoughedtocoveralaughandshotmeathumbup.“Thanks.Yoursupport

isnoted.”

Ishrugged,smirked,anddisappearedupstairs.

Thankgodforthat.

TherewasonlysomuchIcouldtakeoflookinghimintheeye.Especiallywhenhe

wasparticularlyexasperatedwiththetwins—andtherewasnowayhewasn’tgivenEllie’s
curt-sawsandEli’sapparentlyintensesugarhigh.

Hell,Icouldstillhearhimzoom-zoomingaroundtheroomandBrantleyaskinghim

to“Pleasestopzoomingforamoment.”

Ihadalittlechuckleatthat.Hewasadifferentpersonwhenhewasovertheir

games—funnyyetserious,andtotallyadorableinhisfrustration.

Shit.

Wait.

No.

Abortthatlineofthinking,Kali.That’snotgoingtoleadanywhere.Nowheregood,

anyway.

Iretrievedmybrushes,roller,andtrayfromthebathtubandwentintoEllie’sroom.

Thepaintwas,obviously,completelydry,butnotasevenasI’dhaveliked.Thewallshad
beeninsuchbadconditionfrombadpaperingandpeelingpaperthatitwasgoingtotake
moreeffortthanI’dplannedtopaintitproperly.

Still,Igotstarted.

Mytoolsandthingswereinapileinthemiddleoftheroom.Iopenedmytoolbox

andpulledoutaflatscrewdrivertoopenthecanofpaint.Islippeditbeneaththelidand
pusheddown,poppingitopen.

Thebubblegum-pinkwasalmostpainfultolookout,evenforsomeonelikemewho

likedpink,butIpoureditintothetrayandgrabbedaroller.

Iglancedatthedoor.Therewassomekindofaruckusdownstairsaboutwhowas

better,princessesorsuperheroes.

Hmm.

Thatsoundedlikeitwasonlyamatteroftimebeforeaprincessinfiltratedmywork.

Rollerfirmlyinhand,Icrossedtheroomandshutthedoor.Thenshiftedmy

toolboxinfrontofit.

There—itwasnowchildandBrantley-proof.

Hopefully.

***

Knock,knock.

“Kawi?”

Irolledpaintontothewall.

“Kaaaawwwwiiiii?”

Igrittedmyteeth.

Moreknocks.

Quicker,endlessknocksthatwentonuntilIfeltlikemybrainwasreadytoexplode.

“Yes?”Icalled.“I’mbusy,Ellie.”

“Iwannaseemywoom.”

“It’snotdone.”Ithadbeentwohours.Ihaven’tevendonethetwobiggestwalls

yet.

“Pwease.”

Judgingbythemuffledhuffandbangagainstthedoor,she’dslumpedagainstit.

“Where’syourdad?”

“Makingmeachocwatsammich,”shereplied.“Iwannasee.”

“Youshouldgocheckonlunch,”Ireplied.

“I’mapwincess,youknow.YouhadtodowhatIsay.”

LasttimeIchecked,thiswasarepublic,butwhatever…

Isettherollerinthetray,pushedmytoolstotheside,andopenedthedoor.

Shestoodthere,poutingforallitwasworth,armsfoldedacrossherchest.Hertutu

stuckoutalmostataninety-degreeangle,andshehadnowadoptedsomeplastic,backless,
dress-upshoesthat,inthecolorblue,wereatoddswithherpinkoutfit.

“Ellie,”Isaidsoftly.“Ihavetogetmyworkdone,okay?”

“Paintingisn’twort.It’sfun.”

“Ifyou’refour.”Itappedhernose.“Butpaintingroomsispartofmyjob.So,it’s

work.Canyouletmedoit?”

Sheleanedtotheside,hertinyhandgrippingthedoorframe.“Okay,butIdon’t

wanna.”Shepoutedandstalkedoff,sulking.

Idroppedmyhead.Ifeltguilty,buttherewasnowayIcouldhaveherinhere.

Turningbacktomyroller,Icoateditinpaint,andpickeditup.

“Ellie,”Iheardmyselfsay.“Comehere.”

Damnit,self.

Sheappearedasifbymagic,ahuge,hopefulgrinstretchedacrossherface.“Yeah?”

Isighed.“Youcanstay,butyousitquietly,andyoumustputonsomeproper

clothes.”

Frowning,shestareddownatherself.“Oh.”

Shelookedsosad,Iwasprettysureshewasgoingtochangehermindabout

wantingtobeinherewithme.

“Okay,”shesaidafteramomentofsilence.“Igetchanged.”

Iblinked,watchingherasshedisappeared.

Aglobofpaintfellofftheendofmyrollerandhitmybarefoot.

AndthatwasreasonnumberonewhyIdidn’twantEllieintheroom.

Icouldn’tfocusforthelifeofme.

AnothersighescapedmylipsasIturnedandwipeditoffmyfootwithmyfingers.I

awkwardlyflickeditbackintothetray,beforewipingmyfingersonmythighawkwardly.

Icouldhavegonetowashmyhandsinthesink,but…Actually,Ihadnoreasonfor

whyIdidn’t.OtherthantheriskofElliebeinginthisroom,alone,withpaint,Iwasjust
beinglazy.

“Hey—didyousayElliecouldcomeupherewithyou?”

Isquealed,droppingtheroller.Itlandedsmackontopofbothofmyfeetbefore

flippingontothefloorandcoatingtheoldwoodintheteeth-gratinglysweetpinkpaint.

“Shit!”Iturned.“Oh,crap!Issheuphere?”

Brantleysurveyedmyfeet,thenthefloor,thenranhiseyesupmybody.They

lingeredalittleonmythighs,andIwasgoingtobelieveitwasbecauseoftherandom
pinkstripesonthem.

Imean,itprobablywas.WhywasIeventhinkingthatitwouldn’tbe?

Hislipspulledtooneside.“No,she’snotuphere.You’reallgood.”

“ThankGod.”Ibentoverandputtherollerbackinitstraysoitcouldthinkabout

themessit’dmadeofmyfeet—twice.“Yes,Ididsayshecouldcomeupherewithme.I
swearshehassomefreakyvoodoothatsendsmeonaguilttripeverytimeshedoesn’tget
whatshewants.”

Henoddedsolemnly.“Yeah.That’ssomethingtheyshouldreallymentionbefore

youhavekids.Thatyou’llspendtherestofyourlifefeelingguiltyforanythingfrom,
“No,youcan’thaveapuppy,”to“Youcannoteatthemoldycookieyouhidbehindthe
sofasixmonthsago.””

“Whywouldyoufeelguiltyaboutthat?”

“Theeyes.Theygetyoueverytime.Whichiswhythey’renotallowedapuppy.I

can’thavethreepeopletoguiltmeintostuff.”

“Thepuppywouldprobablyeatthecookie,though.It’dsolvethatproblem.”

“Thereisthat,”heagreed.

Wesharedasmile.

Itwasalittletoointimate.

Icoughedandbroketheeyecontact,gettingmyrolleronceagain.

“Doyouwantatowel,or…”Hepaused,andIpeeredoverathim.“Thepaint.It’s,

um…You’recoveredinit.”

Iglancedatmyfeetandmylegs.“Ithappens.Todaymorethanusual.”

“Youknowyoudon’thavetohaveEllieuphere,don’tyou?Youcantellherno.I’ll

eventellhernoandtaketheguilt-tripforyou.”

Ilaughedandstartedpaintingagain.“It’sfine.She’llprobablygetboredof

watchingmeanddisappearwithoutmeknowingit.”

Hemetmyeyesandheldmygazeforalong,hardsecond.“Youroptimism.Itkills

me.”Then,heturnedandleft.

“Whatdoesthatmean?”Ishoutedovermyshoulder.

Hisanswer?Abarkinglaughthatmademeshiver.

AtleastIwasn’ttooawkwardinthatconversation.Thatwasawin.

ChapterFifteen

“AnnenItoldDaddythatifhewon’tbuymetheCindewewacastleformybirssday

IcryandaskSantabutSantaisbeforemybirssdaybutIdon’twannawaitforSantaormy
birssdayIweallywantitnow.”Elliepausedtotakeadeepbreath,andbeforeIcould
interjectsomebullshitcommentaboutpatience,shestartedagain.“Ewigothissuperhewo
caveandthetwiceratops.It’snotfair.”

Istaredather,paintbrushdrippingintothetray.

Now,Ihadtwooptionshere.Icouldresumemyoriginalattemptattalkingtoher

aboutpatience,butIhadthefeelingitwouldbefallingondeafears.

Maybebecauseshe’dstartedtalkingagain,whileIstoodhereandblinkedather.

Mysecondoptionwastomakesoothingnoisesofsympathyandagreementandnod

myheadalongwithherthatitwasn’tfair.

Or,athirdone,Icouldturnaroundanddomyjobandletherwhine.

Thatlastoneseemedright.Afterall,I’dalreadytunedherout.Asidefromadull

buzzing,Iwaswatchingherlipsmovingatthespeedoflight,butIwasn’thearingwhat
shewassaying.

Now,thatwasaskillIwasinterestedindevelopingfurther.

Iturnedbacktothewall,fakinganod,andfinishedmyedgingaroundthe

doorframe.Shetalkedtheentiretime.Momentaryflashesofpayingattentionsaidshe’d
gonefromcomplainingtotalkingabouthowrealunicornswereorthevalidityoffairies.

Itwasalong-asshalfanhour.

“Done!”Isaid,steppingawayfromthedoorwithaflourish.

Elliestoppedtalking.

Oops.

“CanIsweepherenow?”Sheturnedherheadsidetoside,staringoutoverthe

room.

“Uh…Notyet.Youneedanewfloor,andcurtains,andabed…”

Shehuffedfromherseatinthemiddleofthefloor.“CanEwisweepinhis?”

“Nope.I’mgoingtopaintitnow.”Iputthebrushinthetrayandpickeditup.Then,

Ipaused.“Doyouwanttohelpmecleanup?”

Shepursedherlips.“Cweanup?”

“Yeah.Ihavetowashthepinkpaintoffofthisstuff.”Igavethetrayaslightshake.

“Doyouwanttodothebrushesinthesinkforme?”

Sheclambereduptoherfeet,rushedtome,andpeeredintothetray.“Awwfwee?”

“Nottheroller.That’shard.Butsure,youcandothebrushes.”

Shehesitatedforonlyasecondbeforeshenoddedherheadandran.I’dbarely

steppedfootoutsideherbedroomwhenIheardhershout,“Ewi!Getoffthetoiwet!”

Okay.

MaybeIwasn’tgoingintothebathroomrightnow.

“No!I’mpooping!”Elishoutedback.

Thatwastoomuchinformation.

“Well,stoppooping!”cameEllie’sresponse.“Yousmellbad!”

Stilltoomuchinformation.

“Ican’tjuststoppooping,Ewwie.There’sstillpooinmytummy!”

“Okay!”Brantleycameupthestairs,takingthemtwoatatime.“That’syour

weeklyquotaofthe‘p’wordusedinabouttenseconds.Eleanor,letyourbrotherusethe
toilet.Elijah…Pleasestoptellingtheentireneighborhoodwhatyou’redoinginthe
bathroom.”

Isnorted,dippingmyheadsinceIwasstillholdingthetray.

Brantleyturnedtolookatme.“Oh,Jesus.I’msorryyouhadtohearthat.”

“SoamI,”Ireplied.

“Here,letmetakethis.I’llcleanitdownstairs.”Hegrabbedtheotherendofthe

tray.

“Icandoit.”Igentlytugged.

Hiseyebrowsshotup.“Youjustheardthatconversation.Letmedoit.Honestly.

Thinkofitasmyapologyforit.”

“It’sfine,honestly.It’lltakemeaboutfivesecondstodo,andI—”

Hegavethetrayagoodyankandpulleditrightoutofmyhands.“Thankyou.”

Myjawdropped.“Ididn’t—hey!”

Heignoredmecompletelyashewentdownthestairs.Istaredathisretreatingback

untilIcouldn’tseeitanymore.Iwasfrozenatthetopofthestairs,andwhileapartofme
wantedtochasehimdownandforcehimtoletmecleanthestuff,therestofmedidn’t
wanttobealonewithhim.

Wasitanywonderwhy?

Ileftit.TurnedandheadedintoEli’sroomwheretheblueandredcansofpaintand

afreshsetofbrushesandarollerwerewaitingforme.Afterall,Ididn’tneedthedirty
rollers,butIjustlikedtocleanthemwhiletheywerewet.

Ipouredtheredpaintintothetray.Elihadbeenveryclearhewantedthebigger

wallsredandthesmalleronesblue,soIlumpedatonofpaintintothetray,readytoget
started.

Itouchedtherollertothewall.Thesquelchingnoiseitmadeasittransferredthe

painttothewallalwaysmademecringeatfirst.Butnotquiteasmuchasthesoundof
EllieshoutingatElitowashhis“poopyhands.”

Yep.

ThatwasdefinitelytheworstthingI’dhearallday.

Ishudderedandcarriedonwiththepainting.I’dpushedthedooralmostclosed,and

theboardsoutsideinthehallcreaked.Therewasmuffledwhispering,andIbracedmyself
fortheonslaughtoftwotinypeople,butthen…

“Ellie.Eli.Downstairs!”

“But—”

“Down.Stairs!”

Therewasapause,thentherewastheunmistakablesoundoftwopeoplegoing

downstairs.

Ibreathedasighofrelief.

Thankyou,Brantley.

***

Thedoorcreakedopen.

Kneelingonthefloorwithmybrushdippedinthetrayfullofredpaint,Ipeeked

overmyshoulder.Elihoveredinthedoorway,hiseyeswidewithdelightashelookedat
thetwobright-bluewalls.

“Hi,”Isaidslowly.

Hejerkedhisattentiontomeandheldoutabottleofwater.“Daddysaidyoumight

wantsomewater.”

Actually,Idid.

Isetdownthebrushandmotionedhimtocomein.“I’dloveone.Thankyou.That’s

soniceofyoutobringmeit.”

Heblushed.Quickly,hehandedmethebottleandshuffledback.Hiseyesflitted

sidetosideagain,neverreallymakingeyecontactwithme.

Hewaslookingatthewallsagain.

“Doyouliketheblue?”Iaskedsoftly,tracingmygazeoverhisface.

Henodded.“Wots,”hewhispered.

Hisshynesssucker-punchedmeinthegut.NeverhadIknowntwinssopolar-

oppositeintheirpersonalities.

Thenagain,Elliespokesohedidn’thaveto.

“Doyouwanttoseethered,too?”

Henoddedagain,stuffinghishandsinthepocketsofhisshorts.

“Comehere.”Icappedthewaterbottle,setitdown,andshiftedoverforhimtosee.

“There’snotalot,becauseIjuststarteddoingtheedges.”

Hebentforwardatthewaist,lookingatthebottomcornerandwhereI’dstartedto

edgethecornerofthewall.“Whyareyoudoingthat?”

“Justattheedges?”

Morenodding.

“Well,it’squitetricky.It’stostopmegettingalotofpaintontheotherwallorthe

ceilingorbaseboardswiththeroller.Look—watch.”Iremovedexcesspaintfromthe
brushandgentlypaintedalittle,gettingthebristlesinatthecorner.“SometimesIusetape
tohelpme,butthisbluemightstillbealittlewet.”

“Isthatthetape?”Hepointedatthetapedbaseboards.

“Itis.Idon’tliketotakeitoffuntilthepaintisdry.Ithinktheotherwallmightbe

done.Wanttosee?”

Noddingagain.“Howdoesitwork?”

Idroppedthebrushandshuffledacrosstheroomonmyknees.“Ithelpsmegetthe

linesright.Idon’thavetobeascareful,becauseifIgetpaintonthetape,itdoesn’t
matter.”Ipinchedtheedgeofthetapeandslowlypulledit.“See?”

HebasicallyleanedrightontopofmeandwatchedasIgentlypeeledthetapefrom

thebaseboard.HemovedwithmeasIcrawledacrossthefloor.

“Yousee?It’saperfect,straightline.”Nearenough.

“Wow,”hebreathed,awefillinghistonewithlightness.“That’s‘mazin’.”

“Itis.Mydaddytaughtmethattrick.”

Eliturnedtome,eyeswidewithdelight,cheeksflushedwithexcitement.“Doyou

thinkmydaddyknowsthetapetwick?”

“Maybe.Ithinkalotofdaddiesknowit.”

“Wow,”herepeated.“Istheudderoneready?”

“Thetapeontheotherwall?”

Henodded.

“Notquite.Didyouwanttohelppeelitoff?”

Anothernod.Howdidhenothaveaheadache?

“HowaboutIcomeandgetyouwhenIthinkit’sready?”Ioffered.“It’llbebefore

bedtimetonight.”

I’dhavetore-tapetheseboardstomorrow,butohwell.

Eligazedoutatalltheboards.“Okay,”hesaidquietly.“Deal?”Hestuckouthis

tinyhand.

Itookitandshook.“Deal.”

“CanIwatchyoupaint?”

Ihesitated.Icouldn’tsayno,couldI?I’dletEllie.“Sure,”Isaid.“Aslongasyou

don’ttouchanything.”

Noddinghisagreement,hedroppedtositexactlywherehewasinthemiddleofthe

room.Hecrossedhislegsandputhishandsinhislap,staringatmeexpectantly.

Mylipstwitchedathisinterestinmywork.

IrememberedwhenIwasacoupleyearsolderthanhim,sittinglikethat,and

watchingmydaddoexactlywhatIwasdoingrightnow.

Iwassis.Mymomhaddiedninemonthsbefore.It’dbeenthefirstweekofsummer

andDadcouldn’tgetasitter.I’dbeenbroughttoworkundertherulesIwouldn’ttouch
anything,Iwouldn’tgoanywherewithouthim,andifIwasreallybored,Icouldpasshim
tools.

ThatwasthedayIgrewarealinterestineverythinghedid.ThedayIwasfirst

amazedthattwohandscouldchangeahousesomuchwithnothingmorethanloveand
dedication.

IglancedbackatEliandpickedupmybrushwithasmile.HesatsilentlyasI

painted.Ididn’tevenhearhimcough—notevenacreakofthefloorboards.IfIdidn’tturn
andcheckonhimeverynowandthen,Iwouldn’thaveguessedhewasthere—ormoving
togetabetterviewofwhatIwasdoing.

Itwaspeaceful.Andfun,almost.

UntilTornadoEllieblewin.

“Whatchadoooooooooing?”shesang,hoveringinthedoorway.

Elisighed.

“Painting,”Ireplied.

“CanIwatch?”

“No,”Elisaid.“Youwatchedyourwoom.”

“Iwannawatchyours,too.”

“No.”

“Kawi!”

Ishrugged,rollingthepainton.“Sorry,Ellie.It’suptoEli.Ithinkhe’shavingfun

watchingme.”

“Ihadfunwatchingyou,too!”

“Youaweadywatched,”Elisaidquietly.“Iwannawatchnow.”

Elliestompedherfootonthefloor.

“Ellie!”Brantleyshoutedfromdownstairs.“Youbetternotbeupstairs!”

“I’mnot,”sheshoutedback.

“Goaway,Ewwie,”Elisaid.

Ishookmyheadasshestompedherheadagain.Iwasfocusedonapatchofwallby

theceilingand,inmyattemptnottogetredonthewhiteceiling,Ididn’tknowuntilitwas
toolate.

“Nooo!Ewwie!Nooooo!”Elishrieked,stompingandthumpingashegotup.

Iturned.

And,fuck.

“Ellie!”Ididn’tmeantoshout,Ireallydidn’t.Butseeingherdeliberatelyand

spitefullyplantherred-paint-coveredhandsalloverthebluewallbecauseElisaidno
mademe.

Elicriedashepulledherawayfromthewallandpushedherover.Theybothwent

down,kickingintothetrayofbluepaint.

Ithappenedinslowmotion.

Theyhittheground.

Thetrayflickedupandover.

ThepaintsplatteredoverthefloorandthewallIintendedtobered.

Istoodthere,coveredinpinkandblueandredpaint,ontheoppositesideofthe

room,rollerinhand,drippingpaintonthefloor,andstaredatthetwins.

Theywerestillstruggling.Elliewasscreaming.Eliwasshouting.Andtheywere

bothcoveredinpaint.

“Whatthe—”Brantleystoppedinthedoorway,cheeksred.Slowly,heswunghis

gazefromthefightingtwinstome.“Whatthehellhappened?”

“Areyousureyouwantthatanswer?”Ireplied.

Hetookadeepbreath.Pickinghiswaybetweenthepaintsplatters,heseparatedthe

twins.Holdingthembothbythearm,oneinhislefthandandtheotherinhisright,he
kneltdownandstaredatthemboth.

Ellie’sfacewasbrightredfromscreaming.Eliwasstillcrying,andasanumberof

emotionsdancedoverBrantley’sexpression,Icouldseehewastornonhowtoreact.

“IjustwantedtowatchKawipaint,”Elisobbed,hiccuppinghalfwaythroughthe

sentence.

“Whathappened?”Brantleydemanded,turningtoEllie.

Myeyeswidenedabit.

Boy,thatwashard.

EvenIwantedtotellhimwhathappenedandhewasn’ttalkingtome.

“Elihitmefirst!”

“No,hedidn’t,”Iinterjected.Iputtherollerinmytray,foldedmyarmsovermy

chest,andraisedaneyebrowather.“Didhe,Ellie?”

Shesniffed.“Hepushedmeover.”

“Andwhydidhepushyouover?”Brantleyasked.“Itwouldn’thaveanythingtodo

withtheredhandprintsonthewallnow,wouldit?ThewallKalihasspentallday
painting.”

“ItwasEli!”

Brantleyturnedoverherhands.“Really,”hesaidflatly.

Ellieshrunkback.

“YouhavetensecondstotellmethetruthbeforeIgoandputbluehandprintson

yourwallsandseehowyoulikeit,younglady.”HedroppedherarmandpulledEliinto
hisside.He’dalmoststoppedcryingnow,buthelookedlikehe’dgotteninafightwitha
Smurf.

Ellieglancedacrosstheroomatme.

Ididn’tmoveorchangemyexpression.ShehadtoknowI’dtellthetruthevenif

shedidn’t.

“IwantedtowatchKawipaint,too,”shefinallystarted.“ButEwiwouldn’twetme.

So,Ipainted,too.Butthenhepushedmeoverandfrewpaintonme.”

“Didnot!”

“Letmegetthisstraight,”anow-paint-coveredBrantleysaid.“Youdisobeyedmein

comingupstairs,youliedtome,andyoudeliberatelyruinedyourbrother’swallbecause
youdidn’tgetyourownway,althoughyoualreadyspentthemorningupstairswithKali
whilehehelpedmeinthekitchen.”

Ellielooked,forasecond,asifshewasgoingtodenyit.Instead,herbottomlip

trembled,shedroppedherchin,andshenodded.

Brantleyputafingerunderherchinandmethereyes.“Don’tfakecry.It’snot

goingtoworkthistime,Eleanor.Whatyoudidwasverycruel.Isuggestyougoandsitin
thecornerofthebathroomandthinkaboutwhatyou’vedonewhileIputEliunderthe
shower.Youcanhaveonewhenhe’sclean.”Hepointedinthedirectionofthebathroom.

Shesniffed,butshewent,trudgingacrossthehalltothebathroom.

ElituggedonBrantley’sshirt.“Daddy,areyoumadIpushedherover?”

Hetookadeepbreath.“I’mnotangryaboutit,Eli,butI’mnothappy.You

shouldn’tdoitagain.Iknowsheupsetyou,butyoucouldhavereallyhurther,okay?Plus,
nowthere’spainteverywhere.Maybenexttimeyoushoutformeinsteadofhurtingher,
okay?”

Hehesitatedforamomentbeforenoddinghishead.“CanIhadashowernow?”

“Yep.”

“Oh.”Hestoppedandlookedatme.“Kawi,areyoumadatthewalls?”

MuchlikeBrantleyhaddone,Iinhaleddeeply,andlookedatthewalls.Iwas

frustrated,annoyed,feelinghelpless,butnotangry.TheextrafewhoursI’dnowneedto
coveritup,nottomentionrepaintthebaseboards,weretottingupinmyhead,butIwas
moreresignedtoitthananything.

“Weneedtogetyouintheshower,buddy.”Brantleystoodand,takingholdofEli’s

shoulders,directedhimtowardthebathroom.

“Isowwy,Kawi,”IheardElisaybeforeBrantleyshutthebedroomdoorbehind

him.

Iletgoofalong,shakybreath,slumpingdownasIwasabletofullytakeinthe

sightofthemessthathadbeencreatedbyEllie’stantrum.

Then,Iturned,andforgetting—ormaybejustnotcaring—thattheredpaintwas

stillwet,pressedmyforeheadagainstthewall.

Groundrules.

No.More.Kids.Near.Paint.

ChapterSixteen

Fivep.m.rolledaroundbeforeIknewit.IwasprettysureIstillhadpaintonmy

head.Isureashellhaditjustabouteverywhereelse.Iwasalldryandcrustyandgross.

I’dbarelybeenabletofixthemesscausedbythekidswhentheyfought.I’d

managedtowipethesurpluspaintoff,butotherthanthat…Let’sjustsayIhadacouple
morecoatsofwhitepainttodotomorrow.

Ifinishedcleaningtherollersandtraysoffinthebathtub.Themixofblueandred

asitswirledthroughthewaterbeforedrainingawaywasalmostheadache-inducing.Itwas
muchbrighterwet,andmixedwithwater…Ugh.

Iturnedandcaughtaglimpseofmyselfinthemirror.Ilookedlikeacomplete

mess.Redpaintinmyhairandovermyforehead.Therewerestreaksofblueandpink
acrossmyneckandchest.ThesamehappenedwhenIlookeddown.Iwasawalkingart
exhibition.

Oneday,Iwouldbeabletopaintawallandnotcovermyselfinit.

Itwasamazing.Icouldinstallakitchenwithoutgettingasplinter,butpaintinga

wallwithoutgettingcoveredinpaint?

Notachanceinhell.

Iglancedaroundforaclothtowipemyfacewith.Ididn’tseeone,soIswitchedon

thetapanddidthebestIcouldwithmyfingers.Itwasn’tgreat,butImanagedtogetthe
majorityofitoff,andascrubwithatoweldidtherest.Therewasn’tmuchIcoulddo
aboutmyhair.

Igrippedtheedgeofthesinkandtookadeepbreath.Iwasexhausted.Icouldfeelit

asitsnakeditswaythroughthebody.Thelastfewhoursoftodayhadbeenhell,andEllie
hadessentiallywipedouteverythingI’ddoneinEli’sroom.

Forthat,IwantedtodoEli’sroomfirst.Tomakeherwait.Butthatwasspiteful,

too,anditdidn’tmakeme,asatwenty-six-year-oldadultanybetterthanheratfour-years-
old.

Ihuffedandstraightenedup,thengrabbedmystufffromthetub.Shakingoffthe

excesswater,Iputonetrayinsidetheother,thenstackedtherollersandthebrushesinside
topickupeasily.

AndwalkedrightintoBrantley.

EverythingI’djustpickedupclatteredtothefloor.

“Shit,”Iwhispered.

“Igotit.”HegotonhiskneesandpickeditallupasIranmyhandovermyface.

Standing,heflickedhereyesoverme.“Youlookexhausted.”

“Damn.Ishouldhaveleftthepaintonmyfaceifit’sthatobvious.”

Hesmirked.“ShouldIpretendthatthepaintontherestofyouhidesit?”

“Couldyou?Thanks.”

“InEli’sroom?”Heliftedthetrayslightly.

“Oh,er,yeah.Thanks.”Ifidgetedwiththehemofmyshirt.“Hey,Iwantedtotalk

toyouaboutsomething—”

Heheldhishandsup.“Don’tworry.Theywon’tbugyouanymore,Ipromise.I

calledSummer.They’regoingtohereverydayuntilthewallsandfloorsaredonesoyou
canworkinpeace.Attheveryleast.”

Iopenedandclosedmymouthlikeafish.

“I’msorry.”Hemetmyeyes.“Theynevershouldhavebeenwithyouinthefirst

place.IwasworkingwithElliewatchingamovie,thenthenextthingIknew,shewas
upstairs.Iwasonmywayupwhen…”

“WhenthegatesofHellopenedupandswallowedmyafternoonwhole?”

“WhenthegatesofHellopenedupandswallowedyourafternoonwhole.”

Igrinned.“Ithappened.There’snopointindwellingonitrightnow.Ican’tchange

it,butIcanfixit.”

“You’reveryoptimisticaboutthis.”

“Hey—fixingthingsiswhatIdo.IfIgotannoyedeverytimesomethingwent

wrong,I’dnevergetmyjobdone.”

Hefoldedhisarmsacrosshischest,smiling.“YoureallyarearegularlittleMiss

Fix-It,aren’tyou?”

Imock-curtseyed.“That’swhatyou’repayingmefor.”

Helaughed.“True.Thankyoufor,well,yourbrightoutlookonthebullshitmy

childrenbroughttoyourday.”

“You’rewelcome.”Iskirtedaroundhimandslowlymademywaydownthestairs.

“I’llseeyouateighttomorrow.”

“Kali?”

Mynameonhislipssentatingledownmyspine.

Istopped,grippingthebanister.

“I,er…Imadeabittoomuchpastatonight.Wouldyou…wannastayandhelpme

eatit?Thekidsarereadyforbed,anditjustneedsreheating…”

Dinner?Again?

Didwenotestablishlastnightthatwasnotagoodidea?

“Idon’tthinkit’sagoodidea,”Isaidslowly.“Imean…”

Brantley’slippedthinned,hiseyesflashingwithsomethingIcouldn’trecognize.

“Right.Forgiveme.I’llseeyoutomorrow.”

Iraisedmyhandinanawkwardwave.Willpowermademewalk,notrun,downthe

stairs,butthesecondmyfeethitthehallway,Iwasoff.Ileftthehousebeforeeitherofthe
kidssawmeorIchangedmymind.

Ipulledmykeysfrommyasspocketandgotintomytruck.Myphonewasinthe

glovebox,andIretrievedit,stickingmykeysintotheignitionatthesametime.Then,I
pulledupmymessagesandtextedJayda.

Me:Hejustaskedmetostayfordinner

Jayda:Callmerightnow

Isighedand,stillsittinginhisdriveway,didjustthat.

“Heaskedyoutostayfordinner?”sherambledthesecondIansweredmyphone.

“Whyareyoumessagingmeandnoteating?”

“BecauseIsaiditwasn’tagoodidea.”

“Ofcourse,it’saterribleidea!But,first,freefood.Second,he’shot.”

“Youthinkthefacthe’shotandgivingmefoodnegatesthefactit’sabadidea?”

Silence.“Yeah,prettymuch.Isithome-cookedfood?”

“Doesthatmakeadifference?”

“It’shome-cooked.”Shesighedheavily,thelinecracklingatherexhale.“Damnit,

Kali.Justhavedinnerwiththeguy.Whatharmwillitdo?”

“Whatgoodwillitdo?”Myvoiceraisedafewdecibels.

“Withanyluck,it’lltakeyoualittleclosertogettinglaid.You’rebasicallya

virgin.”

“I’mdonewiththisconversation.”

“Wait!Maybeheneedsafriend!”Shequicklyspatout.“Haveyouthoughtabout

that?Doesheknowanyoneelseintown?Hespendsallhistimewithpint-sized,puny
humans.You’re,like,aunicorn.”

Ipaused.Shehadapoint.AndifJaydahadapoint,wewerealldoomed.“Youthink

that’sit?Heneedsafriend?”

“Ithinkyoushouldseeifthat’swhatitis.”

“Whatifhekissesmeagain?”

“Kisshimbackandhopeyougetlaid.”

“Byenow.”Ihungupbeforeshecouldcontinueonanyfurtherdownthattrack.

But,damn.She’dplantedtheseedofanideainmymind,andnowIcouldn’tshakeit.

AsfarasIknew,hedidn’tknowanyoneintown.Certainlynotanyoneonanything

morethananacquaintancelevel.Wewerepracticallyfriends,Iguess.Ifyouconsidered

weknewstuffabouteachotherandtalkedeveryday…

Andkissedonce.

Sadness.

ThathadbeenwhatpassedthroughhiseyeswhenI’dsaidno.

Aflicker.Thebaresthintofsadness,andloneliness,too.

Iturnedmyphoneoverandtappedhisnameinthecontacts.

Me:Justhowmuchis‘abitextrapasta?’

Brantley:Areyoutextingmefromthedriveway?

Me:…yes.Isthisnotnormal?

Istaredatmyphone,waitingfortheresponse.WhenIdidn’tgetone,Ihoppedout

ofthetrucktogoknock.

Thefrontdooropenedasmyfeethitthefloor.Hewalkedoutandtomytruck,

eyebrowquirkedinamusement.

Iblushed,shuttingthedoorandleaningagainstit.“Notnormal,huh?”

Hislipstwitched,andhestoodnexttome,elbowonthewingmirror.“Definitely

notnormal.Whyareyouasking?”

“A‘bitextrapasta’isrelative.Youeitherdidenoughforonepersonorenoughto

feedanotherfamily.Ididn’tconsiderthatwhenIsaidno.”

“EnoughtotakeittothetownhallinanhourandfeedeveryoneatBingo,”he

admitted.“And,youdidn’tsayno.Yousaiditwasabadidea.”Hiseyesmetmine.“And
I’mhard-pressedtodisagreewithyou,whichiswhyIdon’tunderstandwhyyou’restill
here.”

“Let’sjustsayI’mverygoodatmakingbaddecisions.”

Eyes.

Droppedtomymouth.

“Youandmeboth,”hemuttered.

Iclearedmythroatandglancedawaybriefly.“Ifyoucangivemehalfanhourto

showerandchange,I’dlovetohelpyoufinishthatpasta,”Isaidquietly.

“Halfanhour.Really?”

“Forty-fiveminutes.”

“ShallIhaveitreadyinanhour?”

Inodded.“That’sagoodidea.”

Hegrinned,pullingbackfromthetruck.“Allrightthen.”

“I…Holdon.Didyou…shower…afterallhellbrokeloose?”

“No.Icleanedup,butIdidn’thaveachanceyet.Why?”

“You’vegot…”Istopped,bitingtheinsideofmylowerlipasIsmiled,eyes

followingthegiant,bluestreakthatcoloredhisdarkhair.

Heblinkedatme.“Gotwhat?Whyareyougrinningatmelikethat?”

Isteppedforward.“Paint.”Liftingmyhandtohisface,Iranmyfingeralongthe

sideofhishead,fromaspotjustabovehisear,throughhishair,anddowntothesoftspot
justbeneathhisair.“Rightalongthere.”

Hisgazeshiftedfromtheinsideofmyarm.Oureyesmet,andItookadeepbreath.

Iwasstilltouchinghim,myfingersjustbarelyghostingdownthesideofhisneck.

Ashortbreathjudderedoutofme.Stutter-likeandharsh,Iforcedmyselftotake

anotherdeepbreathinorIknewI’dlosecontrol.

Especiallywhenheraisedhishandtomineandcurledhisfingersaroundmywrist.

Hotlittleburstsofdesiredancedupmyarmwherehisfingertipspressedagainstthe

tenderskinthere.Italmosttickledastheytraileduptheinsideofmyarmwhenitlowered.

“Goodtoknow.”Hisvoicewasdeepandlow,almostrough.“I’llgofixthatnow.

You’llbebackinanhour?”

Inodded,pressingmyhandsflatagainstthehotdoorofmytruck.“Anhour,”Isaid

scratchily.Iswallowed,thenclearedmythroatagain,pretendingnottoseehowhiseyes
droppedwhenmythroatbobbed.“Right.Anhour.Seeyouthen.”

Brantleytookafewstepsback,lipstwitchingashebackedaway.“Seeyou,Kali.”

***

IdressedascasuallyasIcould.Yogapants,alooseshirt,andanold,zip-up

sweatshirt.Myhairwasstill-dampandinitsnaturalstateofloosecurls,allpulledupinto
aponytailontopofmyhead.Ibarelyevenworemake-up.Alightlayeroffoundationand
somemascarawasallI’dputon.

IwantedtobelievethatthenuggetofbullshitJaydaplantedinmymindwasreal.

Apartofmedid.Icouldn’tbegintoimaginehowlonelyBrantleyactuallywas.My

wholelifehadbeenlivedhereinRockBay.He’duprootedhisentirelifeinfavorofanew
one—ofonebetterthantheonehe’dbeenexistingthroughbefore.

Hewanted,maybeevenneeded,afriend.Sure.

Buttherewasmorethere.

I’dfeltitwhenhe’dkissedme,andI’dfeltitanhouragowhenI’dmadethe

mistakeoftouchinghispaint-coveredhair.

Iwasanidiot,thatmuchwastrue.Idon’tknowwhathadpossessedmetodothat.I

couldhavejustsaidandpointed,butno.Ipracticallyranmyfingersthroughhishairand
downthesideofhisneck.

Whatwaswrongwithme?I’dspenttheentiremorningberatingmyselfforkissing

him,andI’dallowedmybestfriendtoguiltmeintohavingdinnerwithhim.

Iwasanidiot,buthereIwas,readytogetfreepasta.

ThedoorswungopenbeforeIcouldknock.“Comein.Sorry.It’sburning.”

Myeyebrowsshotup,andIstifledagiggleasIclosedthedoorbehindme.Sure

enough,asIjoinedhiminthekitchen,Icouldsmellthefaintyetdistinctscentof
somethingburning.

“Fuckit,fuckit!”Brantleysweptahugepanoverthesinkandditchedthecontents

inadrainer.“Goddamnhob!”

Ileanedagainstthetable,takingamomenttonoticethatitwasset.Plates,cutlery—

thehalf-fullbottleofwineIhadn’tfinishedthenightbefore.

Um.

“Havingproblems?”Igrinnedathisback.

“Iknowyou’resmiling,sostopit,”hesaidwithoutlookingatme.

Ismiledwider.

“And,yes.Problems.Thisdamnthingdrivesmecrazy.”Hewavedhishandinthe

directionofthestove-top.“ItheatsupquickerthanIcanturnitdown,andnowIcan’tturn
itoff.”

Ileanedover.“Thechild-lockison.”

Hefroze,lookingoverhisshoulderatme.“Ithasachild-lock?”

Closingthedistancebetweenmeandthehob,Ipressedthekey-shapedpadonthe

topuntilitbeeped,thenturneditoff.

“Well,fuckme,”Brantleymuttered.

Okay.

Wait,no.

Ishookmyheadandtookaseatatthetable.Hechuckled,and…Ohmygod.

Oh.My.God.

Ishookmyhead.ItlookedlikeIwasansweringhisquestion.

This.ThiswaswhyIshouldn’tbehere.Icouldn’tevenplanagoddamnheadshake

thatwastheequivalentofaneyeroll.

Hepouredthespaghettibackintothepanandmixedinsomesauce,thistime,

operatingthestove-topverycarefully.Istifledalaughashejabbedfranticallyattheflat
buttonshopingthey’dregisterhistouch.

“Motherfucker,”hemuttered.

Bitingtheinsideofmycheek,Igotupandnudgedhimouttheway.“Gentlyisthe

key,”Isaid,wipingoffthetouchpadwiththebottomofmyshirttoclearhisprints.Ihit
thepowerbutton,thenthebackcircle.“Whatnumberpower?”

“Uh…”

“Fiveitis.”Ipressedthe‘down’keyuntilitwasonthemiddleheat.“You’re

jabbingatittoohard.Justtouchit,likeyourphone.”

“Myphonedoesn’tbeepatmeangrilyeverytimeItouchit.”

“Yoursisbetterbehavedthanmine.”

Helaughed,pullingaspoonoutoftheutensilpot.“Thankyou.Idon’tthinkI’ll

evergetusedtothiskitchen.”

“Well,ifitcomestoit,Iknowsomeonewhocanfityouanother.”

Hisgazeslidtome.“Pimpingyourselfout?”

“No.Iactuallyknowsomeonewhocanfixthis.”Icircledmyfingerintheareaof

thestove.“But,ifyouwantnewcabinets…”Iclickedmytongueandpointedtomyself.
“I’myourgirl.”

“Goodtoknow.”Heheldmygaze,spoonstilledinthecenterofthepot.

Iblushed.

“Didyouknowthatyoublushalot?”

Iblushedharder.“Didyouknowthatyoudidn’tputthesauceinthatpastaand

you’reburningitagain?”

“Shit!”

Ididn’ttrytohidemylaughterthistime.Ilaughedoutloud,pressingmyhandto

mystomachasIgrippedtheedgeofthecounter.ThiswastheveryfirstimperfectionI’d
seeninBrantleyCooper,anditwasbothwonderfulandcurious.

Wonderfulbecausehe’dbeenalmosttooperfectuntilnow.

Curious,becausehowhadhekepthimselfandtwootherpeoplealiveifhewas

burningpasta?

“Stoplaughingatme.”Hepouredthesaucefromtheotherpanintothepasta.“I

swear,I’mnotaculinaryidiot.”

“Youcan’tworkyourstove!”

“That’sasimplematterofelectronicsemantics.”

“Electronicsemantics,myass!It’sasimplematterofmaleimpatience.Andyou’re

stillburningthepasta!”

“Fuckinghell!”

“Ohgod,move.”Ishovedhimoutoftheway,literallypluckingthespoonfromhis

handandshiftinginfrontofhim.Ipulledthepanofftheburnerandstirreditthen,
scrapingthepastaoffthebottomofthepan.“Sauce.”

Brantleyslidpastme,hishandbrushingmylowerbackashewent.Iignoreditthe

bestIcould,ifweconsideredthefactIwasbitingtheinsideofmycheekandavoidinghis
eyes.

Heputthesauceintothepan,hischestbrushingagainstmyarmasIputitback

ontotheburner.Iclearedmythroatandstirred,mixingitallintothepastaandchicken
carefully.Thecreamy,whitesaucesplatteredasIlostmyholdonthespoon,andIwinced,
screwingmyfaceupasitspatatme.

Brantleylaughed.“Painting…cooking…it’sallrelativeforyou,isn’tit?”

“Shutup,”Imuttered,wipingmyforehead.

Heleanedoverandswipedhisthumbalongmycheekbone.“There.Nowit’sall

gone.”

Iblushedandturnedofftheburner.“It’sdone.”Isteppedbackfromthestoveand

wentbacktothetable.

Heside-eyedmewithahalf-smileashetookover,pullingtwoplatesfromthe

cupboardclosesttohim.

Iturnedaway,lookingoutofthewindowasheserveditup.ThiswasexactlywhyI

hadn’twantedtohavedinnerwithhim—thisattraction.

Itwasundeniable.Forusboth.Itwastheelephantintheroomeverytimeoureyes

met,anditwasgettingharderandhardertohidemyreactionswheneverwetouched.

Theproblemwas,I’dscrewedallmyownattemptsatputtingdistancebetweenus.I

wassittingonthewallthatdividedprofessionalandpersonal,onelegoneachside,staring
downthelineuntilitdisappeared.

IhadnoideawhatIwasdoingwithmylife.

Brantleysetaplateinfrontofme,andImurmureda“thankyou”ashetookhis

seat.

Whatwerewegoingtotalkabout?

Didwehaveanythingincommon?IdoubtedheenjoyedFriendsre-runsas

enthusiasticallyasIdid,andtherewasn’tachanceinhellI’dbedrawnintoaconversation
aboutsports.ThelastsportsIwatchedwaswhenIwasaseniorinhighschool,andthat
wasonlybecauseIhadacrushontherunningbackonourteam.

Sidenote:showingupinshort-shortstotallyworked.

Allthatsaid,relieffloodedthroughmewhenBrantleybegantoeatinsilence.I

followedsuit,diggingintothedelicious,creamy,cheesypastadishinfrontofme.

Amazing.Heburnedpasta,yetcookedthesauce.

Mymindboggled.

Theminutestickedby.HadJaydabeenright?Wasitjustcompanyhewanted?If

so…Imean,thiswasbetterthananythingIhadthepatiencetocook.I’dbehisdinner
friendanydayifhe’dfeedmelikethis.

Iwasalmostdoneeatingwhenheputdownhisforkandsippedathiswine.

“I’msorryifImadethingsawkwardwhenIkissedyouyesterday.”

ChapterSeventeen

Ialmostchokedonmyfood.Igrabbedmywineandwasheditdown,thankfully

withoutgivingintotheurgetospititeverywhere.

Thatcameoutofnowhere.

“I’msorryifImadeitawkwardapologizingformakingitawkward,”headded,lips

twitchingashegazedoveratme.

“Nope.You’regood.Justsurprisedme,that’sall.”Itookanothermouthfulofwine,

swillingitaroundbeforeIswallowedit.“Notawkward.Imean,alittle,butmostly
becauseit’sagainsttherules.Nocompany-clientrelations.Youknow?”

Henodded.“LikeIsaid,I’msorry.Itwasaspur-of-the-momentthing.Itwon’t

happenagain.”

Oh.

Whydidthatsuck?

Goddamnit,itdidn’tsuck.Thatwasabsolutelytherightchoice.Itcouldn’thappen

again.Noway.

“Right.Ofcourse.Youknowyoudidn’thavetoinvitemefordinnerjusttosaythat,

right?”

“Iknow.Ithappenedtoworkinmyfavor.I’llnevergetthehangofcookingthe

rightamountofpasta.”Hefrowned.“Idon’tknowhowpeopledoit.”

“Mymomisoneofthoseweirdos.Like,shejustknowshowmuchpastatocook.I

generallycookenoughforasmallarmy.”

Brantleywavedhishand.“Speakforyourself.IthinkIhaveenoughforlunch

tomorrow,too.”

Ilaughed,restingmyforearmonthetable.InudgedmyplateasidesoIhadroomto

cupmywineglassinfrontofme.“Justletthetwinseatit.”

“They’reatdaycaretomorrow.Doyouhaveanyideahowamazingit’llbetohavea

daytomyself?”

“Really?YoumeanIcanpaintwithoutchaos?”

Hissmilereachedhiseyes.“Youcanpaintwithoutchaos,”heconfirmed.“Imight

bugyouifIgetbored,butIpromisenottoscrewupthewalls.”

“Ifyoucomeandbugme,I’llbehandingyouarollerandtellingyoutostart

painting.”

“Icandothat.”Hetappedhisfingersagainstthetable.“AfterI’vebeentothestore

andhadmyanklesrippedtoshreds.”

“Idon’tknowwhywestillshopthere.There’saTargethalfanhouraway.”

“That’stheproblem.Targetishalfanhouraway.Irma’sisfiveminutesforanyone

intown.”

Sighing,Iproppedmychinuponmyhand.“Andyouwon’tgetthelocalgossipat

Target.”

“Smalltowns,”hemuttered.“Soineachother’sbusiness.”

Inodded.“Everyonewillassumewe’redatingtomorrow.Justsoyouknow.”

Hiseyebrowsshotup,andhestood,grabbingbothourplates.“That’sabitofa

jump,isn’tit?”

“Notreally.They’resimplyputtingtwoandtwotogetherandgettingfive,asthey

generallydo.It’snotmuchofajumpwhenyouconsiderthatI’msingleandyou’resingle
andhot.”

Heglancedoverhisshoulderatme,amusementcurlinghislips.

“I…Um…Iwasn’tsupposedtosaythatoutloud,”Isaidslowly.

Crap.

“YouthinkI’mhot,”hesaid.Hedidn’task,hejustsaidit.

“I,well,I,er…”

Hequirkedabrowatme.

Itookadeepbreath.“Yes.Youdon’t?”

“IhavetoadmitI’veneverreallylookedatmyselfthatway.”Hisrestrained

laughtermadehisshouldersshake.“I’llconsideritnexttimeIlookinthemirror.”

“There’snoneedtobesarcasticaboutit.”Ifinishedmywineandgotup.Thechair

squeakedagainstthefloor.“AndnowI’mtheonewho’smadeitawkward,soooo,Ithink
I’mgoingtomakelikeabananaandsplit.”Iputthewineglassonthesidebythesinkand
turned.“Thankyoufordinner.Itwasgreat.Let’spretendthisconversationnever
happened.”

Hestoodinfrontofme,blockingmyway.Hisbicepsclenchedwithhowhehadhis

armsfoldedacrosshischest,andthewhitematerialofhist-shirtstretchedoverhis
shouldersinawaythatwasmorethanalittledistracting.

Butitwashiseyesthatmademestop.Thewayadarknessthathintedatdesire

tickledtheedgesofhisgaze.Thewaytheyshonebrightwithlaughteratthesametime
theyrevealedhowhewasfeelinginthatverysecond.

Iswallowed.

“Wecouldpretenditneverhappened,”hesaidinalowvoice.“Orwecouldjust

admitthatwe’reattractedtoeachotheranddealwithitfromthere.”

“Idon’t—Imean,I’mnot…Attractedtoyou,”Ifinishedstupidly.

“Youmeanyou’renotverygoodatlying.”

“Yeah.That,too.”

Hedroppedhisarmsandapproachedme.Ibackedupuntilmybackhittheedgeof

thecounter.

Shit.Idiot.Now,you’retrapped.

Igrippedtheedgeofthemarblecounterandtookadeepbreath.

Hestoodinfrontofme,toweringovermebyafewinches,andrestedhishands

eithersideofmybody.Histhumbsbrushedmypinkyfingers,settlingwhereIcouldjust
feelthetickleofthemthroughtheair.

“Dealwithit,”Iechoed,mymouthdry.“Whatexactlydoyoumeanbythat?”

Heglancedatmymouth.

Deargod,howwasheabletoanswermyquestionwithoutspeaking?

“Okay,but,um,here’sthething.”Icouldn’tbreathe.Isoundedlikeapantingidiot

tryingtogetthewordsoutbetweeneachshort,sharpbreathItook.“This,”Imotioned
betweenus,“isbad.”

“Bad.”Hislipstuggedtotheside.

“Yes.Because,”—help.Someonehelp—“becausethisisn’tallowed.Company

rules.Nocavortingwithclients.”

“Nocavortingwithclients.”Thathalf-smileturnedintoafull-blowngrin.“That’s

very…proper.”

“Well,Ican’texactlyput,“Nofuckingtheclients”now,canI?”

“Youcouldhave,butitwouldhavebeenunfortunatelyprecise.”

“Ishouldchangethat.”

“Idisagree.”

Ilickedmylips.“Youshouldagree.Becausethisis—”

“Bad.Yousaid.”Moreliptwitching.

“Ithoughtyouweresorryyoumadeitawkwardbykissingme.”

“ThatwasbeforeIfoundoutyouwereattractedtome.Now,I’malotlesssorryI

kissedyou.”

Oh.Well.Fairenough.

“ShouldItakebackmyacceptanceofyourapology?”Iasked.

“YoushouldstoptalkingandseehowyoufeelwhenI’vekissedyouagain.”

“Kissedme—”

Hesilencedmewithhislipsonmine.Ahugeshiverwrackedmybody,andhe

smiledagainstmymouth,handsslowlyslidingupmyarms.Hegrazedhisteethovermy
lowerlipashepulledaway,andmyheartpoundedagainstmychest.

Therewasonlyabreathofairbetweenourlips.Icouldtastehim,andalthoughI

knewI’dhatemyself,Icouldn’thelpit.

Iplacedmyhandseithersideofhisneckandkissedhimrightback.Firmly.Ikissed

himthewayhehadmethenightbefore,withforceandunfightabledesire.Ashewound
onehandintomyhair,Ipushedupontiptoes,myassnowdiggingintotheedgeofthe
counterasheleanedagainstme.

Myheadspun.Itfeltsofuckinggood,probablybecauseIknewitwaswrong.But,I

couldn’tstop.Icouldn’tstopmyheartfrompoundingormybodyfromreactingtohim
thewayitwas.Theskintingles,thechesttightening,thelustthatpooledbetweenmylegs
andmademyclitache…

Noneofit.

Itwasoutofcontrol,andallbecauseofhim.

Hisbodywashardagainstmine—andsowashiscock.Itpressed,fightingagainst

theconfinesofhisjeans,againstmylowerstomach.Thisonlyturnedmeonmore,sent
moredesirerunningatafastpacethroughmyblood.

Iwantedhimtofuckmerighthere,rightnow,upagainstthekitchencounter,andI

nolongerfuckingcaredaboutit.

Ijustwantedmore—moretouching,morekissing,moreofhim.

Hislipsmovedoverminesosmoothly.Hisfingerstoyedwithmyhairjustenough

thattinystingsradiatedovermyscalp,andhistonguefoughtwithmineasthekissgot
deeperanddeeper.

Rougher.Moredesperate.More—

Thefloorboardsaboveuscreaked.

Ipulledbackwithahalf-gaspandlookedattheceiling.

Brantleystayedwherehewas,perfectlystill,untiltherewasanothercreak.Itwas

followedbythesoundofhollowfootstepsonthetopstairs.

“Fuckit,”hemuttered,brieflypressinghisforeheadagainstmine.Withadeep

breath,hereleasedmeandpushedaway.Idroppedmyeyestohiscrotchwherehis
erectionwascompletelyvisible,andheadjustedhisjeansinanefforttohideit.

Iburiedmyfaceinmyhands.I’ddonethatalotlately,butIcouldfeelthetingles

acrossmylipsastheheelsofmyhandspressedagainstthem.

Brantley’svoicewasmuffledatthebottomofthestairs,andIheardthedistinct,

sleepytoneofElimutteringsomethinginresponse.Therewasashuffle,thenthesoundof
thestairscreakingastheywentupstairs.

Idroppedmyhandsandblewoutalongbreath.Therewasnodenyingthatthis

time,I’dbeentheonewho’dcrossedtheline.Icouldhavesaidno,keptupdenial,butI
didn’t.I’dgivenin,and,oneagain,beensavedbyoneofthetwins.

WhoknowswhatwouldhavehappenedifElihadn’twokenupjustnow?

Iwouldn’thavestopped.ThatmuchIdidknow.

Ihadnothingwithmebutmycarkeyswhichwerestillinthepocketofmysweater.

Ipatteditjusttomakesure,andtheyansweredwithareassuringjingle.

Theurgetoleaveovercameme,butitwouldn’tsolveanything.Itwouldjustputoff

anotherconversationaboutthefactwe’dkissed.

Aconversationthathad,ultimately,ledtouskissingagain.

ThatandthefactmeandmybigmouthhadletslipthatIthinkhe’shot.

Really,Ionlyhadmyselftoblame.Iwassuchanidiot.

Mymouthwasdry.Igrabbedaglassfromthecupboardandfilleditusingthe

dispenserfromthefridge.Idrankitinone,thecoolnessofthewatersoothingasitslid
downmythrough.

Settingitbythesideofthesinknexttomyemptywineglass,Itookyetanother

deepbreath,exceptthisonewasasteelingone.Onethatstraightenedmyspineandgrew
meapairofballsfortheconversationIwasabouttohave.

Brantleystoodinthedoorway,armscrossed,leaningagainstthedoorframe.His

eyesranupanddownmybody,andthoughIshouldn’thave,Iglancedathiscrotchagain.

Yep.Stillnoticeable.

Ilookedbackupandmethiseyes.Hehadoneeyebrowcockedinamusement,andI

bittheinsideofmycheeksoIdidn’tjustifythefactI’djustblatantlylookedathis
erection.

Imean…therewasnojustifyingit,wasthere?Notreally.Iwasn’tgoingto

apologizeoranything.

“Ihalf-expectedyoutoberunningoutthedoor,”hecommented.

“Idecidedtobeanadultaboutittonight,”Ireplied,fidgetingwithmyzipper.

“Isthatwhyyoucan’tstandstilllikeatoddler?”

“Prettymuch.”

Helaughedandpushedoffthedoorframe,droppinghisarmstohissides.“Areyou

stillheresowedon’thaveanotherawkwardconversationwithsemi-sincereapologies
tomorrow?

Thatwasaboutright,yeah.“Basically.”

“Don’tworry,Kali.Ididn’tintendtoapologizeagain.Youcertainlydon’tseemto

wantone.”

Iopenedmymouth,thenpaused.Hewasright.Ididn’twantone.Hedidn’tneedto

apologize.“Youdon’thavetoapologizeagain,”Isaidquietly.“But,thisisagainstmy
companyrules.Ican’tgetinvolvedinanywaywithclients.So,this…”Iwavedmyhand
betweenus.“Nomatterhowattractedwemightbetoeachother,itcan’thappenagain.
Okay?”

Heleanedbackagainstthecounter,onceagainfoldinghisarms.“Okay.”

“Okay?You’re…okay?”Iblinkedathim.

“Whatelsedoyouwantmetosay?No,Iinsistyoucontinuetobreakyourrules?”

Hesmirked.“I’msorryImadeyoubreakaruleyouobviouslystandby…Mostofthe
time.”

“Uh,allofthetime,exceptforyesterday.Andjustnow.”Andprobablythenext

timehedecidedtokissme.

“Ofcourse.”Thesmirkdidn’tleavehisface.“So,I’llseeyoutomorrow?”

Thisconversationhaddoneaone-eighty.

Idecidedtotakeitandrunwithit.“Tomorrow.Right.Bye.”Islippedpasthim,but

heshotanarmout,stoppingme.

Hiseyessearchedmine,almostasifhewereaskingpermissiontosaywhathe

wantedtonext.SomethingIdidn’tknowifI’dlikewhenitlefthismouth.

“I’mnotsorryIkissedyou,Kali.AndIwon’tapologizeforthefactIwantyou.”

Boom.Boom.Boom.Mypulseechoedinmyears,andIknewthen,stayingwasa

mistake.Ishouldhavegonewhenhewasupstairs.

Becausethosewordschangedalot.

Isaidnothingashereleasedmyarm.Iheldhisgazeforamomenttoolong—a

momentthatsaidhewasn’tlyingaboutwantingme—andleft.

AndasIgotinmytruckanddrovehome,asIpulledupinmydriveandletmyself

intomyhouse…AsIlockedthedoorandranupstairstomybedroomandslumpedonto
theendofmybed,hiswordsechoedaroundmymind.

Iwantyou.

ChapterEighteen

Jayda:Youhavegottolearntokeepyourtongueinyourownmouth.

Me:You’retheonewhomademehavedinnerwithhim.

Jayda:Ididn’tmakeyoudoanything.Idangledaguiltbaitinfrontofyouandyou

tookit.

Jayda:Besides,Ididn’tmakeyoushoveyourtonguedownhisthroat,didI?

Me:Itjusthappened.

Jayda:Youknowwhatjusthappens,Kali?Droppingaglass.Kickingtheremoteoff

yourtable.Forgettingaboutthepeppersinthebottomdrawerofyourfridge.Thosethings
justhappen.Kissingsomeonedoesnotjusthappen.

Seriously.Youforgetaboutpeppersonetime.One.Time.Andyou’revictimized

overitforyears.Pfft.

Me:Itdoesjusthappenanditdidjusthappen.NowIhavetopainthishouseall

daywhenhiskidsareatdaycare.

Jayda:Kisshimagainandfinishthejobwhenyouwon’tbeinterrupted.

Me:Againstcompanyrules!

Jayda:…Whichyou’vedoneastellarjoboffollowingsofar.

Me:Fuckoff.

Jayda:Getfucked.

Jayda:No,literally.Literallygetfucked.

Me:We’redonehere.

***

WhileIdidn’tdisagreewithJayda’srecommendationofgettingfucked,itwas

inappropriate.We’dalreadycrossedthatline,butIwasn’tsurecrossingitevenfurther
wasawisethingtodo.

Fornow,Iwasgoingtofocusonmyjob.Nothingelsebutmyjob.Thatwasmy

plan,andIwasgoingtostickwithit,nomatterhowharditseemedattimes.

Afteraquickcallwithmydadtocheckontheprogressofthekids’beds,Igotstuck

intopainting.I’dcalledEricandhadhimdelaythefloorsbyanothertwenty-fourhours.It

wasannoying,andhehadn’tsoundedtooimpressed.

UntilI’dexplainedwhy.

Thenhe’dlaughedforagoodfiveminutesbeforetellingmehe’dwaivetheextra

deliveryfee.

Gee,thanks,friend.

Itoldhimifhereallywantedtomakeitbetter,togethisassoverhereandpaint.

Naturally,herefused,sohereIwas,bymyself,painting.

Insilence.

Itwas,actually,quitenice.Asidefromthefirstfewdays,Ihadn’tbeeninthehouse

alonetogetworkdone.Therehadalwaysbeentheundercurrentofnoisefromthekids
downstairs—iftheyweren’tuphere.

Inanoddway,though,Imissedthatsamenoise.Itwasalmosteerietobealonein

theemptyhouse,soIsetmyphoneonthewindowsillinEli’sroomandopenedSpotify.
Thequiethumofmusicmadeitalittleeasiertocopewith.

Ipaintedandpaintedandpainted,goingoverandoverthespotsthathadbeen…

affected…yesterday.ThatwasthenicestwayIcouldputitinmymind.

WhilethewhitepaintdriedonthosebitsinEli’sroom,Iwashedmyhandsand,

withmyphonebetweenmyteeth,movedintoEllie’s.Herpainthaddriedevenly—more
sothanI’dthoughtitwould—soIknewthatwithonemorecoat,herwallswouldbedone.

IpulledmyphonefrommymouthandtextedEricquicklytoconfirmhecouldget

theflooringinatleastEllie’sroomtomorrow.Withouthangingaroundforhisresponse,I
crackedopenapaintcanusingascrewdriverandpoureditintoatray.

Iwouldbegladtoseetheendofthispinkpaint.

Shamelessly,IsangalongtoJustinBieberasIpainted.Itcycledthroughmy

favorite,bigplaylistonshuffle,takingmefromthecountrytwangsofLukeBryantothe
latestMaroon5.

Ihummedalong,notknowingthewords,untilitflippedovertoSamHunt.Trading

myrollerforapaintbrush,IdippeditinthepaintandsangalongtoBodyLikeaBack
Road.Betweendips,thepaintbrushactedasmymicrophone.

Ohmygod,I’dneverhadsomuchfunpaintinginmylife.

Istood,wipedpaintfromthebrush,andcontinuedmypersonalconcert.Themusic

flippedoverfromSamtoDemiLovato’sInstruction,and,well,Igotintoitalittletoo
much.

Thebrushwasmymic;thewindowmyadoringfans.Islidleftandrightandback

justlikethesongdemanded.MybraidswungaroundmyshouldersasIdanced.

Ispun.

Andfroze.

Open-mouthed,mid-chorus,Istoppedontheballsofmyfeet,staringatBrantleyin

thedoorway.

Oh,shit.

Thegrinthatstretchedacrosshishandsomefacewasdisarming,anditwasclearto

seethathe’dbeenquietlylaughinghisassoffashewatchedme.

Itookasteptotheside,mybarefootkickingthepainttray.“Ouch!”Igrabbedmy

ankleandhoppedtotheside,leaningagainstthedrywall.“Um…Hi.Ididn’tseeyou
there.”

Hejustgrinnedatme.

“Howlonghaveyou,um,beenthere?”

“Longenough.”Hiseyessparkled.

Ohgod.

“Ohgoddddd,”Imoaned.

“Ifthisbuildingthingdoesn’tworkoutforyou,canIsuggesttheX-Factor?”He

rubbedhishandoverhismouth.

Iblushedfuriously,mycheeksburningrightred.

“Ihavetobehonest.IfIknewI’dbegettingashow,I’dhavecomehomehalfan

hourago.”

“Iwasjusttakingabreak.Stretching,youknow.”Iletgoofmyankleandgingerly

putmyfootdown.“Gettingridofsomecramp.”

“IsdancingtoDemiLovatoconductivetogettingridofcramp,then?”

“Howdoyouknowit’sDemiLovato?”

“Ilistentotheradiointhecar,youknow.”

“Right.‘Course.”Iturnedandpausedthemusic,takingasecondtorealizewhyI

didn’tknowhewascoming:I’dturnedthevolumerightup.“I’lljust…”Iwavedmy
brush.“Getbacktowork.”

“Areyousureyoudon’thavetheMacarenaonthatlist?”

“Onesong!”Ithrewmyarmsout.“Onesong.God.Everyonedoesit.”

“Generally,notwithpaintbrushes.”

“Iimprovised.Sueme.”

Helaughed,pressinghishandagainsthisstomach.“Comeon.It’slunchtime.I

stoppedintotheCoastal.Igotlunchandaninterrogation.”

Inarrowedmyeyesathim.“Didyouaccidentallybuytoomuch,or…?”

“No,Ideliberatelyboughtyouasandwich.Marcietoldmeyourfavorite,then

proceededtointerrogatemeaboutdinnerlastnight.”

“Ohno.”ThatmeantmymotherknewandIcouldexpectavisittonight.“What,

um…Whatdidyousay?”

“ItoldherIcouldn’ttellheranythingbecauseagentlemandoesn’tkissandtell,but

thatyouleftlaterthanshe’dbeentold.”Hewinkedandranoutoftheroom.

Myeyeswidened.“No,no,no!Youdidnotsaythat!”Iranafterhim.“Brantley!

Brant!No!Tellmeyoudidn’tsayit!”

Hehadhishandsflattenedonthekitchentable.Heleanedforward,laughing.

Ipointedmypaintbrushathim.“Tellmeyou’remessingwithme!”

“Nope.Sorry.That’swhatItoldher.”

“No!Ohmygod!Mymomisgoingtokillme!”

Helaughedevenharder.

Idartedaroundthesideofthetable.

“Oh,shit!”escapedhislipsasheranaroundit.

Istoppedwherehe’djustbeen.“Iswear,Iwillpaintyouwiththisbrushifyou

don’ttellmeyou’remessingwithme.Icannotcopewiththis.”

“Igavethemsomethingtogossipabout!”Heheldhishandsup.

Myheartskippedabeat.Ohno,no,no.“Youhavenoideawhatyou’vejustdone!”

Iranbacktomysideofthetable,andhewentbacktohis.Iwasstillwavingthe
paintbrushmenacinglyinhisdirection.“I’mgoingtokillyou!”

Hewaggledhiseyebrows.“You’llhavetocatchmefirst.”

Iglaredathim.

Clearly,hehadnoideahowdeterminedIcouldbe.

Threetimes.Ichasedhimaroundthetablethreedamntimestothesoundofhis

laughterandmyfrustratedshouts.

“Stopit!ComeheresoIcanpaintyou!”

“That,”hewheezed,grippingachairtocatchhisbreath,“wouldbesomuchsexier

ifyouweren’tchasingmearoundmykitchentable.”

“Urrrrr!”Ihalf-growled,half-groaned.

Ifeintedtotheright—butwentleft.TheexactsamedirectionBrantleywentin.

“Ha!”Igrabbedhisarmandslappeditwiththepaint-coatedbrushbristles.

“Damnit,Kali!”Hereachedforthebrush,andbeforeIknewit,hewaschasingme

aroundthetable.

Therewasn’tachanceinhellIwasgoingtogivehimthebrush.Whoknewwhat

messhe’dmakeinanefforttogetmebackforthatmeaslymarkonhisarm?

Judgingbythemessthetwinswerecapableof…He’dmakemeregreteverpointing

mypaintbrushathim.

“Givemethebrush.Now.”Hedad-voicedme,holdinghishandoutexpectantly.

Ifoldedmyarms,carefullykeepingthebrushclosetomybodywithoutgetting

paintonmyself.“No.Thatvoicewon’tworkofme.Ihavetwenty-six-yearsofpracticeof
resistanceagainsttheDad-Voice.”

“Worthatry.But,still…Givemethebrush.”

Ishookmyhead.“I’mnotgivingyouthebrush,becauseIknowexactlywhyyou

wantit.”

“Allright.Igaveyouachance.”Hedartedforward.

Ascreamleftmymouth.Iranaroundthetableonce,beforemakingagraveerror—

Iranoutofthekitchen.Intothelivingroomandaroundthecoffeetablebeforerunning
intothehallway.

AndrunningsmackintoBrantley,who’dapparentlybeenwaitingforme.

“No!Nooo!”Iwrestledtokeepcontrolofthebrush,buthehadme.Onestrongarm

clampedaroundmyback,andhisotherhandfoughtforthebrush.Iwriggledandtugged
withallmymight,bothhandsonthebrushhandlewhileIlaughed.

Iwasn’tgivingup,butneitherwashe.

AfactIrealizedasheangledthebrushandswipeditdownmyface.

“Ohmygod!”Ireleasedthebrushwithonehandandwipeditoverthepaint.

HelaughedharderthanI’deverheardhimlaugh,andmywholebodyvibratedwith

thesound.EventhroughtheannoyancethatIwas,onceagain,coveredinpaint,Icouldn’t
denytheattractionthatpooleddeepinmytummy.

“Itoldyoutogivemethebrush!”

“Never!”Ifoughtback,justmissinggettingamouthfulofpaint.Imanagedtoget

thebrushacrosshisjaw,turninghisstubblepinkbeforeheregainedcontrolandwipedit
overmycheek.

Honestly,Ihadtowonderwhatsomeonewouldthinkiftheycouldseeus.Two

grown-assadultsfightingoverapaintbrush,bothcoveredinpinkpaint.

“Ohmygod,stop!”Igiggledashetickledthebrushdownmyneck.Wriggling

away,heclampedhisarmtighteraroundmeandheldmeagainsthim.Imanagedtoturn
awayfromhim,almosttwistingmywristasIkeptmyiron-cladgriponthebrush.“Letme
go!”

“No.Iwarnedyou,andyoudidn’tlistentome.Thisisyourpunishment.”

“Beingcoveredinpaintisn’tapunishment.It’sadailyoccurrence.”

“You’reright.Thisisbackfiring.Canyoustopwriggling?”

Mymouthformedatiny‘o’asrealizationstruck.Myasswassnuggledcarefully

againsthiscrotch,andIwasn’ttheonlypersonstrangelyturnedonbythispaintfight.
Then…“Letmego.”

“That’snothowthisworks.”

“You’reright.It’snot.”Ideliberatelywriggledmyassagainsthim.“Now,letme

go.”

Hegrittedhisteethandslidthebrushdownmycheek.

“Ahhh!”

“Stopmoving!”

“Letmego!”

Hesighed.“We’reatastalemate,aren’twe?”

“No.”Iwriggledagain,pokingmyassoutalittlefurther.

“Stopit.”Hepaintedmycheekagain.

Iwipedmyhandonmyshirtandcoveredmyeyes.Iwouldkeepthisupaslongas

hekeptuphispainting.Itwasalreadygoingtoendbadly,andtherewasnowayI’dbe
abletolookhimintheeyeafterhavinghiscockrubagainstmyass,sowhatdiditmatter?

“Kali…”Hisvoicewaslower,almostdangerousinitsroughness.“Ifyoudon’tstop

moving,I’mnotgoingtoberesponsibleforhowhardIshoveyouagainstthewalland
kissyou.”

Thatalmostsoundedlikeachallenge.

“Againsttherules.I’mworking,”Ibreathed.

“Giventhatmycockistwitchingagainstyourass,andit’syourfault,Idon’tthink

youcanusethatasanexcuse.”

“Ifyou’djustletmego…”Idroppedmyhandfrommyeyessinceheseemedto

havegivenuppaintingmyfacefornow.

“Youwouldn’tbecoveredinpaint.”

“Youwouldn’thavearaginghard-on.”

“Araginghard-on,eh?”

“Ishouldstoptalkingrightnow.”

Hereleasedthepaintbrush,finally,andwalkedaround.Hishandslidacrossmy

stomachashemovedsohewasstandinginfrontofme.

“Iagree,”hemurmured,brushingtwofingertipsacrossmytemple.

Myscalptingledwhenhesoftlypushedhairbehindmyear,hiseyesfollowingthe

movementofhishand.Ishiveredasthepadsofhisfingersbrushedmyearlobe,andthat
movementbroughthisgazebacktomine.

Indecision.Itwarredinhiseyes,asIwassureitdidinmine.

Iwantedhimtokissmeagain.Iwantedtofeelthatbliss,thatescapefromreality

forjustafewseconds.

Attheverysametime,Iwantedhimtoletmego.Tostopmakingithardformeto

resisthim.Tobethealoofguyhewasthefirstcoupletimeswemet.

Heleanedin.

IdidtheonlythingIcouldthinkofdoing.

Iswipedmypaintbrushdownhischeek.

“Fuckit!”

Ilaughedandduckedunderhisarmasheraisedittowipethepaint.Iranintothe

kitchenandgrabbedthebrownpaperbagwiththeCoastal’slogoonit.

“No.”Hepointedatme.“Youdon’tholdfoodhostage.”

“Idoholdfoodhostage.”Icarefullyconsideredmynextwords.“Youcanhaveit

backifyoupromisenottokissmeagain.”

Heblinkedatme.Lookedatthebag.Metmyeyes.Shrugged.“IguessI’mskipping

lunch.”

Myjawdropped.“Seriously?”

“What?YouwantmetomakeapromiseIcan’tkeep?”Heraisedaneyebrow.“The

onlyreasonyoujustgotawaywiththeshityoujustpulledisbecauseit’sduringwork
hours.”

“Chasingmearoundyourkitchentabledoesn’texactlyequalworkhours,now,does

it?”

“Careful,Kali.Youmighttalkyourselfintosomethingyoucan’tgetoutof.”

“Oh,I’mprettysureIalreadydidthat,”Imutteredtomyself.“Fine.Hereyougo.

But,Ican’tpromiseIwon’tkickyouintheballsifyoutryagain.”

“No,youwon’t.”

“Tryme.”

Hesmirked,takingthebagfromme.

Crap.TherewasmetalkingmyselfintosomethingIcouldn’tgetoutof…

ChapterNineteen

“IheardyoustayedlateatBrantley’shouse,”Momsaid,turningonmycoffee

machine.

Shehad,veryhelpfully,letherselfinbeforeI’dgottenhomefromwork.Afterway

toomanyquestionsaboutthestateofme,stillcoveredinpaint,I’dconvincedhertoletme
showerbeforeshewentdownherlineofquestioning.

Ireallyneededthatsparekeyback.

IchewedontheendofaTwizzler.“Ican’timaginewhotoldyouthat.”

Shepeeredatmeoverhershoulder.“Marcie.Istoppedintogetsomepastries.”

“Whydidn’tyougothebakery?”

“Idid.Shewasthere.”

Well,thatwasclear.“Right.Well,it’snottrue.Sorrytodisappointyou.”

Shepulledhermugfromthemachinewitharollofhereyes.“Whydoesshethink

thatifitisn’ttrue?”

“Becausehe’salittleshitwho’sabouttolearnthatsmalltownrumorswillcome

backtobitehimonhisveryfineass,”Ihuffed,stillchewingdowntheTwizzler.

“So,istheretruthtoitornot?AndhowdoesMarcieknow?”

Isighedheavily,puttingthecandydown.“Ihaddinnerwithhimlastnight—asa

friend,”Iaddedpointedly.“AndIguesstheBay-vinegotholdofthatinformation.Hegot
uslunchfromtheCoastal,Marcieasked,andheelaboratedtogiveeveryonesomethingto
talkabout.”

Mom’slipstwistedtotheside.“Isthathowyouendedupcoveredinpinkpaint?”

“Longstoryshort,yes.Iwasn’thappywithhim.”

“Nokidding.Youlookedlikeyougotinafightwiththepaintaisleinthehome

store.OrBarbie.”

“DefinitelyBarbie.”IwentbacktochewingonmyTwizzler.

“Itwasjustdinner,then?”

Shewasfishing.Honestly,shemayaswellhavepulledoutadamnfishingrod,

attachedaTwizzlertotheend,andbaitedmeintotellingher.

Well,shewasthemoronwhogavemetheTwizzlersfirst.So,ha.

“Justdinner,”Isaidbreezily.

“Kali.”Shemetmyeyeswithalookthatmakemebristle.“DoyouthinkI’m

stupid?”

“Itwasjustdinner!”Iinsisted,finishingthecandy.Iwasananimal,eatingwithmy

mouthfull,butIdidn’tcare.

“You’rebeingdefensive,andyou’reagodawfulliar.”

“I’veheardthatalotthisweek.”

“Starttellingthetruth.”

“Can’t.”Ipaused.“Thetruthisagainstcompanypolicy.”

Hereyeswidened,andshegrinnedlikeshe’dhitthejackpot.“Ipromisenottotell

yourdad.”

Sighing,ItooktheTwizzlerpacketandwentintothelivingroom.Momwashoton

myheelslikeapuppybeggingforscraps.Ithrewmyselfontothesofa,tuggedupmy
shirt,andyankedanotherbitofcandyfromthepacket.

“Talk.Now.”Shewiggledherfingersatme.

“Idon’twanna,”Imumbled.

“Kali.”

“Wekissed.Twice,”Iadmitted,lookingdown.“Almostthreetimes,butIattacked

himwithmypaintbrush.”

Momsnorted.“There’ssomethingyoudon’theareveryday.”

Ipeeredupatherthroughmylashes.“Itdoesn’tmatter.Itoldhimitcan’thappen

again.”

“Becauseit’sagainstcompanypolicy?”

“Exactly.IwaspartofmakingthatrulewithDad.Imean,Iknowyouguysmet

whenyouhiredhim,butstill.Hetoldmenothinghappeneduntilafter,andhimmeeting
youmadehimrealizehowimportantthatrulewas.”

Sheblinkedatme.“Hetoldyounothinghappeneduntilafterhewasdoneworking

forme?”

“Yes,”Isaidslowly.“Thatwasthereasonwemadetherule.”

“Ohboy.”Sheexhaledslowlyandputhermugonthecoffeetable.“Honey,I’mnot

surehowtotellyouthis,butyourfatherandIwerefuckinglikerabbitsbeforehewasever
doneworkingforme.”

Ifroze.Ididn’tevenfuckingbreathe.ThatwaswaymoreinformationthanI’dever

wantedtoknowaboutthem.

Ismackedmylipstogether.“AndnowI’mgoingtobesick.”

Momlaughed,tappingherfingersagainstmyknee.“Thatwasalittleblunt.My

pointis,heonlyaddedthatrulebecauseherealizedthatoneday,you’drunthecompany,
andhedidn’twantyoumixingbusinessandpleasure.”

Ifrowned.ThatchangedeverythingIknew.“But…isn’tthatmychoice?”

“Ithinkhewantedyoutostayonschedule.He…lostsometimewhenwemet.”

Holdingupmyhands,Ishookmyhead.“Nope.Enoughonthat,thankyou.”

Herlaughterfilledtheroom.“Pointtaken,honey.So…CanIaskaboutBrantley?”

“You’regoingtowhetherIwantyoutoornot.”

“True.”Shegrinned,pickinguphercoffeeagain.“Doyoulikehim?”

“That’saveryhighschoolquestion.Imean,I’mnotscribbling“Mrs.KaliCooper”

inanotebookoranything.”

“KaliCoopersoundsgood.”

“SodoesKaliHancock,”Iretorted.“Stoptakingthisplacesitisn’tmeanttogo,

Mom.I’mattractedtohim,butI’malsoattractedtoTomHardy.Thatdoesn’tmeanI’m
goingtomarryhimandhavehisbabies.”

“Youandeveryotherwomaninthecountry.”Shesipped.“YouknowwhatImean

whenIaskifyoulikehim.”

“Mom.”Iheldmyhandsup.“It’snot…easy.Youknowexactlyhowitistohave

feelingsforsomeonewhoalreadyhasafamily.I’mintheexactsamepositionyouwere,
exceptmymom’sdeathwasn’tasrawformeanddadasthetwins’isforBrantley.Two
andahalfyearsisn’tthatlong.EvenifIdidhavestrongfeelingsforhim,Icouldn’twaltz
intherelikehebelongedtome.Hisheartbelongedtosomeoneelse.Enoughthattheyhad
afamily.”Isankbackintothesofa.“Thatisn’twhatIwant.Idon’twanttobesecondbest
toamemory.”

“DoyouthinkI’msecondbesttoamemory?”

“That’snotwhatImeant.”

“Iknow.I’maskingyouarealquestion,Kali.IsthathowyouthinkIfeel?”

Imethereyes.Theyweresoftandgentle.Theywerehonest.Shereallywasasking.

“You’renottome,”Iansweredafteramoment.“Doyoufeellikeyouare?”

“Ineverhave,no.She’syourmom,butIam,too.We’rejustyourmomsatdifferent

timesinyourlife.Yourdadstilllovesher,butit’sadifferentlove.Iacceptedthatalong
timeago.Youcan’terasethememoryofsomeone,butthatdoesn’tmeanyouhavetobe
secondbesttothem.Andanyonewhomakesyoufeelthatwaydoesn’tdeserveyouinthe
firstplace.”

Ismiledsadly.“Thanks.Thatmakesmefeelbetter.But,still,you’reastronger

personthanIam.DoesitmakemeabadpersonifIsayIdon’tknowifIwantthebaggage
ofsomeoneelse’skids?”

“Notatall.Thatmakesyouhuman.”Shefinishedhercoffeeandputthemugdown.

“Fortherecord,Ifeltthesame.Sometimesyoudon’tgetachoice.”Shestoodandkissed
thetopofmyhead.“I’llseeyoufordinner,honey.”

Ismiled,andjustbeforesheleft,turnedaroundandsaid,“Hey,Mom?”

“Hmm?”

“I’mreallygladyoudidn’tgetachoice.”

Shewinked.“Me,too,Kali.”

***

Lunchtimepassedinpeace.ThecrazystartedwhenEricshowedup,armedwith

floorboardsandanythingelseyoucouldimagine.Together,weclearedEllie’sroomofall
mycrapandgotstarted.Thedelayinmyschedulemeanthewasbyhimself,andthat
meantIhadtogetmyhandsdirty.

Wewentthroughthemotions.Onebyone,welaidtheboardsandnailedthemin,

cuttingthemtosizewhereweneededto.Afteraboutanhour,itstartedtotakeshape.

Iwasgladweweredoingthistogether,intheend.Ittookmymindofthemonotony

ofthepaintingI’dspendthelastforeverdoing,andbeingwithEricwasalwaysfun.His
humormadethetimepassalittlebitquicker.

Hisconstantrequestsforadate…Notsomuch.

“Gonnadatemeyet,Kali?”

IlookedathimasIhammeredanailintoplacewithoneswiftwhack.“That’swhat

Ithinkofyouroffer.”

“Youwoundme.”Heshotmealopsidedgrin.

Irolledmyeyesandgotbacktowork.

Halfanhourpassedbeforehespokeagain,andwhenhedid,itwasbecause

Brantleyhadshownupandpokedhisheadthroughthedoor.

“Hey,”hesaid.“Everythingokay?”

Icouldn’thelpmyblushasIlookedupandoureyesmet.“Fine.Weshouldbedone

inheresoon,thenwecangetEli’sdone.”

Heheldmygazeforamomentwithasmile,thenlookedaround.“Itlooksamazing.

Ellie’sgoingtofreakoutwhenshegetshome.”

“Lord,IhopeI’mgonebythen,”Ericmuttered.

Ishotmylegoutandkickedhim.“Onlybecauseyoucanprobablyrememberthe

epictantrumsyouthrewasakid.”

“Ididnotthrowepictantrumsasakid!”

“Oh,really?”Islidoffmykneestositproperlyandlookathim.“Whenwewere

seven,yourmommadeyougetoutofthepooltoeatatyourbirthdayparty.You
tantrummedsohardyoualmostdrowned.”

“She’slying,”ErictoldBrantley.“It’snottrue.Thatwasher.”

Ikickedhimagainandgrabbedmyhammer.

Brantleygavehimatightsmile.“Oh,Ibelieveit.”

“Hey!”Ipointedmyhammerathim.“Whatdoesthatmean?”

Heheldhishandsup.“Thehammeriswaymoreterrifyingthanthepaintbrush.”

Iwavedit.

Helaughed,allthetensionfromhissmileatEricdisappearing.“Allright,allright.

Putitdown.DoyouneedanythingbeforeIwork?”

IglancedatEric.Whenheshookhishead,Ididthesame.“Thanks,butwe’regood.

Howlonguntilthetwinsarehome?”

Hecheckedhiswatch.“You’vegotaboutthreehours.”

Ericlookedatme.“We’renotgonnagetitalldonetoday,Kali.”

Aw,shit.

“Can’tyougetoneofyourguysin?Ican’tbeanymoreoffschedule.”

“Icantry.”

“Please.”Ishothimthesweetestsmileandheldmyhandstogether.“I’llpayyou

extra.”

Hepaused.“I’llwaivethatfeeifyougooutwithme.”

“I’llpayyouextra,”Irepeated.

Hesighed,puttingdownhishammer.“I’llseewhatIcando.”

“So,you’regood?”Brantleyreiterated.HiseyesswungfromErictome,softening

intheprocess.

Hmm.

“We’regood.Thanks.”Ismiled,andhereturnedit,somethingthatseemed

completelyatoddswiththelookinhiseyes.

Hedisappeared,andEricstoodup.Hestaredattheemptydoorwayforamoment

beforelookingatme.

“Somethin’goingonwithyoutwo?”heasked,eyebrowsdrawntogether.

“No,”Iansweredalittletooquickly,turningawaytolineanailuptobangin.

“Why?”

“Dunno.Igetthefeelinghedoesn’tlikeme.”

“That’s‘causeyou’reanasshole,”Isaidcheerily.Ihitthenail.

Henudgedmewithhisfoot.“Shutup.”

Igrinnedathimuntilhe’dturnedandlefttheroom.Then,Iletthesmilefallaway

andsighed.

IfEric,theguywhowasaboutasobservantassnowinalandslide,noticedthat

BrantleyandIhad…athing…thenIreallyneededtosortthisout.

Soon.

***

Elliegasped,clappingherhandsagainsthercheeks,hermouthwideopen.“It’s

‘mazin’!”

“It’s…afloor,Ellie,”Isaid,bringingherbackdowntoEarth.“Justafloor.”

“Iknow,butIcanputmywugonit!”

“Notquiteyet.I’mnotreadyforyoutodothat.”

“Whynot?”Shejuttedoutherbottomlipandputherhandsonherhips.

IkneltdownsoIwasatherlevel.Gently,Ituggedherhandsfromherhipsand

pokedherlowerlip,makinghergiggleinstead.“BecauseIhavealistofthingstodo.I
havesomeshelvestoputup,yourcurtainsneedtogoup,plusIhavetobuildallyour
furnitureandhangpictures.Ifyouputyourrugintherenow,it’llgetalldusty.”

“Oh.”Shetiltedherheadtotheside.“That’sokay,Isuppose.IsEli’sfwoordone,

too?”

Elilookedatmeexpectantly.

“Almost.Youwannaseeitsofar?”

Henoddedandtookholdofmyhand.Iledhimtowardthedoor,openedit,andlet

himtakealookathisthree-quarter-done-floor.IfEric’semployeehadn’ttakenanhourto
gethere,itwouldhavebeendone.Evenwithallthreeofusworkingonit,wehadn’tquite
managedtogetitdone.

Ericpromisedtoshowupateight-thirtythenextdaytodoit,andIwastakinghim

athisword.

“Wow,”Elibreathed,everthechildoffewwords.

“Youlikeit?”Iaskedhim,bendingdown.

Henoddedenthusiastically,hisdefaultwayofansweringintheaffirmative.

Ismiledandruffledhishair.

“Kids?Dinner’sready!”Brantleycalledfromdownstairs.

Elliesniffedtheair.“Ismellpizza!”

Thatwasallittook.Bothofthemwentrunningdownthestairsataspeedthatmade

mecringeandalmosttellthemtoslowdown.Ishutboththeirdoorswithashakeofmy
headandfollowedthemdown—atanormalspeed.

Ipokedmyheadinthekitchenandwaved.“I’llseeyoutomorrow.”

Ellielookedatmewithhorror.“Don’tyouwantpizza?”

Ismiled.“I’mgood.It’stimeformetogohomenow.”AndatleastIwasn’t

coveredinpainttoday.

Brantleysettwoplateswithabigsliceeachdowninfrontofthetwins.“Youcan

stay.There’splenty.”

I’dheardthatbefore.“Andhowmuch,exactly,isplenty?”

“Heboughtoneforyou,too!”Ellieshouted.

“Ellie!Hush!”

“No,youdidn’t,”Isaidtohim.“Hedidn’t?”IaskedEllie.

Eyeswide,shenoddedslowly,reachingforherjuicebox.

IglaredatBrantley.

“Ididn’tbuyitforyou,”hestarted.“Therewasanoffer,soItookadvantageofit.”

“Oh,amInotworthfullprice?”

“Don’tevengothere.”Heshookhishead.“I’mnotfallingforthat.”

Ismirked.

“So?Stay?Ordoyouhaveotherplans?”HisvoicetookonanedgeI’dneverheard

before,andmyeyebrowstwitchedtogetherinafrown.

“Otherplans?No.IwasgoingtowatchFriendsre-runswithoutpantson.I’dhardly

callthataplan.”

“CanIwatchTVwiddoutpants,Daddy?”Eliasked.

“Youneverwearpants.”Ellierolledhereyes,pokingthehotcheeseonherpizza.

“Neitherdoyou,”Brantleypointedout.“Areyouorareyoubothnotpantslessright

now?”

Oncue,theybothlookeddownattheirlegs.

“Nopants,”theysaidatthesametime.

“Right.So,thisconversationispointless.”

Imaginethat.Apointlessconversationwithafour-year-old.Whatanovelty.

“Pweeeasehadsomepizza,”Ellieasked,pullingsomeofthestringycheeseoffthe

pizza.Sheplaceditonhertongue.“Pwease.”

IglancedatEliwhogavemeashysmile.“Fine.ButI’mgoinghomeafter,and

there’snothingyoucansaytomakemechangemymind.Yougotthat?”

Theybothnodded,sippingjuiceatthesametime.

Seriously.Soweird.

Brantleyhandedmeaplateandopenedapepperonipizzawithagrin.

Iside-eyedhim,gavehimbacktheplate,andgrabbedthebox.

Helaughed.

Mystomachflipped.

Iwasanidiot.Again.

ChapterTwenty

“Idon’tunderstand.HowamIlosingatSnaptoafour-year-old?”Ilookedat

Brantley.

“It’soneoflife’sgreatestmysteries,”hesaid,frowningathisownpileof‘won’

cards.

Myplanstoleaveafterdinnerhadbeenthwartedbyeyesbiggerthanmybelly,

swiftlyfollowedupwithtwopairsofpuppydogeyesandabegthatifIstaytoplaygames
they’llneveraskagain.

Right.IbelievedthatlikeIbelievedit’dsnowinRockBaythiswinter.Onthe

SoCalcoast,thatwasaboutaslikelyaswhatthetwinswerepromisingme.

“Idon’tgetit,”Isaid,staringatthecardsinmyhand.“HowcanIloseatSnap?”

EllieandEligiggled.

“Youdon’tshout‘snap’kickenough,”Ellieexplained.“Ifasterthanyou.”

Yeah,nokidding.I’dfiguredthatmuchout.

Ihmphedandputanothercarddown.Ellieslappedoneontopofmine.Idid

another,thepicturematching,andbeforeI’devenopenedmymouth,Elliehollered,
“Snap!”

Withaslygrin,shewhackedherhandontopofthepileandslidthetwomatching

cardstowardher.

IstaredatBrantleywithmymouthopenina“Whatthefuck?”look.

HeglancedatEllie.“Areyoucheating?”

“Nope.”Shejuttedherchinoutandup.“IjustwealgoodatSnap.”

Nokidding.IftherewassuchathingasaSnapWorldTournament,shehada

positivefuture.

Eliputacardonthepilehehadbetweenhimandhisdad.Theyexchangedcardsfor

amomentbeforetwomatchedandEliscreamed,“Snap!”

“Ohmygod!”Brantleythrewhiscardsdown.“Thisisridiculous.You’refour!I’m

almostthirty!Howareyoubeatingme,dude?”

“Ohdear,Daddy.Areyouhadingatantwum?”Ellielookedathimwithher

eyebrowsraised.

“Doyouneedatimeout?”Eliasked,eyeswide.

Ibittheinsideofmycheekandlookedaway.

IwasprettysureI’dheardBrantleysaythatatsomepointduringthetimeI’d

knownthem,whichjustreaffirmedthatkidsreallyweretinyspongesinhumanbodies.

“Ineedabeer,”Brantleymuttered,sweepingallthecardsintoaneatpile.“Come

on,youtwo.It’stimeforbed.”

“Awwww,”theywhinedinchorus.“Butwenottired!”

Iglancedbetweenthem.

“Ofcourse,you’renot,”Brantleyagreed.“Butit’sstilltimeforbed.”

“That’snotfaaaair,”theycontinuedtogether.

Well,neitherwaslife.Bettertheylearnedthatearly.

“Bedtime,”hesaidagain,puttingbothsetsofcardsbackintheirboxes.

“Aw,Daddyyyyy.”

“No.”Hegotupandcrookedfingersatthem.“Let’sgo.”

“IsKawistaying?”

“No,”Isaid,standingup.“Ihavealotofworktodotomorrow,andIalreadystayed

andlostatSnap.Ireallydohavetogo.”

“Ohhh,butthat’snotfair,”Elimuttered.

Brantleyflappedhishandsatthem.“Go.Upstairs.Findyourpajamas.Itdoesn’t

matterifKalistaysornot,becauseyou’llbeasleep.”Heherdedthemoutintothehallway,
andIfollowed,clutchingmyphoneandkeys.

“But,Daddy,”Elliesaid,turninghalfwayupthestairs.“IfKawigoes,thenyou’llbe

alone.”

Hepaused.“Yes?”

“Doesn’tdatmakeyousad?”

No.Iwasn’tgoingtodoit.Nottonight.Notthistime.I’dspentmorethanenough

timewithhimlately,andsomethinghadtogive.Iwasnotgoingtobeguiltedintostaying
byher.

Nope.

Absolutelynot.

Ipulledawayfromthestairs,towardthedoor.

“No,”Brantleysaidslowly.“I’musedtoit.Kaliisright—shehasalotofwork

tomorrow,andyouneedtogetsomesleepbecauseyou’reatSummer’sagain.”

“Again?”Hereyesbugged.

“Shebakesnicecookies,”Elisaidquietly.“Ilikeitthere.”

Mylipstwitchedup.

Goddamnit,no,theycouldn’tbedoingthat.

EverytimeIsmiledatthosekids,theystolealittlepieceofmyheart.

“Let’sgo.”Brantleywavedhishands,usheringthemupthestairs.

“Night,Kawi,”Elishoutedoverhisshoulder.

“Night,kids.”Ismiledandedgedtowardthedoor.

Elliecaughtmyeyes,asadlookinhers,andwavedatinyhandingoodbye.She

dippedherheadasBrantley’shandtouchedherbackandpushedherup.

Itookadeepbreathandsigheditbackout.Thatrighttherewastheepitomeofa

guilttrip.Thesadnessinhereyesattheideaofmeleaving—

No.

Iwasn’tgoingtofallforit.Iwasn’tgoingtoletitwork.Icouldn’tletit.We’d

alreadycrossedtoomanytimesandifIstayed…

Ileanedagainstthefrontdoorandstaredthroughthedoorintothekitchen.The

smellofpizzastilllingered,andIknewtherewasatleastanentirepizzaintheboxonthe
sidethatwasprobablythereasonforitlingering.

Ihuggedmyphonetomystomach,thenpulleditoutinfrontofmeandtexted

Jayda.

Me:AtHotDad’s.DoIstayordoIgo?

Herresponsewasimmediate.Sheneededalife.

Jayda:Stay.

Inhindsight,shewasn’tthebestpersontoaskthatquestionto.

“Jesus,youscaredthecrapoutofme.”Brantleylaughed,handonhisstomach.

Ilookedathimwide-eyed.

“Ithoughtyou’dleft,”hesaidthroughhislaughter.“Issomethingwrong?”

“No,I…”Ipaused,narrowingmyeyes.“IthinkI’mfallingforEllie’sguilttrip.”

“Oooh.”Hewinced.“Myapologies.But,thatexplainswhyyou’restillhere.”

“Yeah,Ican’tdecideifIfeelbadforleavingandyoubeinglonelyorworsethatI’m

stayingandIprobablyshouldn’t,”Isaidslowly.

“You’restaying?”Hequirkedabrow.“You’rewelcometo.”

“IguessIam.Imean,Iwasonlygoingtogohome,putonFriends,andtakeoffmy

pants.”

“Youdon’tneedtogohometodothat.I’mnotthebiggestFriendsfanintheworld,

butI’dwatchitifitmeantyouweren’twearingpants.”Awolfishgrinspreadacrosshis
face.

Irolledmyeyesandpushedoffthedoor.“No.I’mnotgoingtotakeoffmypants.”

“Youwoundme.”Helaughed.“It’saniceevening.Wannasitoutside?”

“Sure.”AsIfollowedhimout,IrealizedI’donlyeverlookedattheyardfrom

Ellie’sbedroomwindow.

Brantleypushedopenthebackdoorontoawoodenporch.Alarge,rattansofatook

uponecorneroftheporch,andafewhalf-burnedcandlessatontheglasstableinfrontof
it.Theporchlookedoutoveralush,greenyarddottedwithkids’toys,everythingfroma
soccerballtoaswingsetwithaslide.

Hetookaseatononeendofthesofa,andIdroppedmyselfintothecorner,kicking

offmyshoes.Ituckedmyfeetupandsighed,leaningagainstthesquishybackcushions.

Itwasbasicallysilent.AsidefromthegentlehumoftheTVinside,therewas

nothing.Itwasincredible,becauseI’mnotsureIrealizedhowloudthetwinswereuntil
rightnow.

“Doyoufeellikethiseverydaywhentheygotobed?”

Brantleyquirkedabrow.“Likewhat?”

“Like,wow,shit,they’rereallyloud.”

Hestaredatmeforamomentbeforeburstingintolaughter.Iblinkedathim,

watchingashisshouldersshookwitheachdeepchucklethatescapedhislips.

“AmIfunnierthanIthinkIam?”

Heshookhishead,stilllaughing.“No.I’mlaughingbecauseI’veneverputthat

feelingintowordsbefore,butyoujustnailedit.Itreallyisexactlythat.”

“Theyarereallyloud,”Isaidagain,frowning.“Areallkidslikethatorisitjust

becausethere’stwoofthem?”

“Youhavenoideaaboutkids,doyou?”

“Notreally.I’mprettyignorantaboutthem,”Iadmittedwithashouldershrug.“I’ve

neverbeenaroundthem.TheclosestI’veeverbeenisinthegrocerystorewithJanie
Green’ssonwhoscreamedtheentiretrip.Iwantedtopunchhimintheface.”Ifrowned.
“Thatmakesmesoundlikeahorribleperson.”

“Nah,I’mprettysurewe’veallfeltlikethatonceortwice.”Hewinkedwitha

smirk.“It’sprettyamazing,though.You’resogoodwiththetwins.”

Ablushroseupmycheeks.“I’mjustnicetothem.”

“You’remorethannice.You’reweirdlypatient.Like,withthepaint.Kali,anyone

elsewouldhavelosttheirmindsandbeensofuckingangry,butyoujustbrusheditoff.”

“Iwasannoyed.”Ituckedhairbehindmyear.“Butmeshowingthemthatwouldn’t

haveachievedanything.Youhandledit.I’mjustthebuilder.Myangerhasnoplacehere.”

“Justthebuilder.”Hesmiled,meetingmyeyes.

“AreyousureI’mnotbeingreallyfunnytoday?”

Heshookhisheadagain,rubbinghishandoverhisforehead.“Ithinkit’sfunnythat

yourefertoyourselflikethat.Ithinkyou’remorethanjustthebuilder.”

“Youdo?”

“Doyouhaveanyideahowmuchfunyouaretobearound?”

“No,butifyou’reabouttogivemesomecompliments,I’llhappilylisten.”

Helaughed.“Ijust…Hell.You’rejustfun,Kali.Idon’teventhinkyourealizehow

muchofanamazingpersonyouare.Movingherewassohard,anduntilyoushowedup
onmydoorstep,IwassureI’dchangemymind.Youmakemelaughmorethananyone
everhas.”

“That’sbecauseI’manidiot,”Ipointedout.“Likethepaintbrushmicthing.

Idiocy.”

“You’reanadorableidiot.Itworks.”

“Aw,youthinkI’madorable.”Igrinned.

“Youarewhenyousmilelikethat.”

Anotherblushheatedmycheeks.Iclearedmythroatandlookeddown.

Brantleylaughedagain.“See?Stilladorable.”

“Allright,stopit.You’rejustsayingittomakemeblushnow.”

“Prettymuch.Isitworking?”

Iclappedmyhandsovermycheeks.“No.”

Hereachedover,grabbedmywrists,andtuggedmyhandsaway,revealingthered-

hotblushthatwascoatingmycheeks.Adisarminglysexygrinstretchedacrosshisface,
andIpoutedashisgazeflashedacrossmyface.

“Stopit.”Iwriggledmyhandsoutofhisgrip.“Iswear,messingwithmeisyour

newfavoritehobby.”

“Itis,”headmitted,eyessparkling.“You’resoeasytofuckwith,Idon’tevenhave

totry.”

Irolledmyeyes.“Andtothink—Iletmyselfbeguilt-trippedintothis.”

“Morefoolyou.Iwarnedyouabouther,andyouobviouslydidn’tlisten.”

“That’ssonotfair.Ididlisten,Ijustdon’thavefreakyskillstoavoidtheguiltlike

youdo.”

“Idon’tavoidtheguilt.Ipretend.”

“Wouldyouhavepretendedifyouwereme,knowingyou’dleaveapoorguytobe

lonely?”

Heraisedhiseyebrows.“Iwouldn’thavebeenlonely.I’dhavewatchedTVwith

mypantsoff.”

“Youdon’tgettousemyplansasanexcuse,”Iscoffed.“Andunlessyourdaughter

isamastermanipulator,youwouldhavebeenlonely.”

“She’sfour.Allfour-year-old’saremastermanipulators.Ifkidscamewithmanuals,

thatwouldbethetitleofthechapterthattalksaboutagefour,”hesaid.

“Therearetechnicallymanuals.They’rethesewonderful,futuristicthingscalled

books.”

“Noneofwhicharegearedtowardasingledad,”hepointedout.“ThelasttimeI

Googledsomething,IdiagnosedEliwitharare,deadlydisease,learnedthatthereareway
toomanystylesofbraidforanyhumanbeingtomaster,andalsofoundouthowtogetthe
kidsoutofthedoorbyeightandhavetimetodomymake-up.”

Ipaused.“Icanseehowthatlastonewouldbeofusetoyou.Yourmascaralooks

wonderfultoday.”

Hedippedhisheadandlaughed,hisshouldersshaking.

Ilookedoutoverthetreesattheendoftheyard.Thesunwasbeginningtoset,and

brightflecksbrokeinthroughtheleaves.

“CanIaskyouaquestion?”

Brantleyshifted.“Youmeananotherquestion,right?Sinceyoujustdid.”

Iquicklyflippedhimthebird,whichdidnothingbutmakehimlaughagain.

“Yes.Ihaveaquestion.”

Henoddedhisheadtowardme,restinghisarmalongthebackofthesofa.“Shoot.”

“WasitElliebeingEllie,ordoyougetlonelybyyourself?”

Heopenedhismouth,thenstopped.Closingitagain,hiseyebrowsdrewtogetherin

afrownthatmadedeepfurrowsacrosshisforehead.“Idon’tknow.Iusedto,rightafter
Katiedied.Now,IthinkI’msousedtobeingalone,thatevenifIwerelonely,Iwouldn’t
beabletotellthedifference.”

Ilookeddown,playingwithaloosebitofthreadonmyshirt.“Isithard?Like…Do

youeverthinkthatonedayyou’llwakeupanditwasallinyourhead?Thatshe’sactually
alive?”

“It’shard,butshe’sgone.There’snochangingit.Iknewshewasgoingtodie,andI

madepeacewithitbefore.”Hetappedhisfingersagainstthecushion.“But,no,Idon’t
everwonderifitwasn’treal.Toomuchchangedforittoneverbereal.”

Slowly,Inodded.“It’sweird.IusedtodreamthatwhenIwasakid.Thatmymom

hadn’tdied,andonedayI’dcomehomefromschoolandshe’dbebakingcookies.Ithink
Iconvincedmyselfshewasaspyonceandthat’swhyshewasn’taround.”

Hesmiled.“Griefisweird.WhenKatiedied,Ididn’tcry.Iwasnumb,butI

couldn’tshowanypain.EveryonethoughtIwasweird,andIswear,ifshehadn’tbeenso
sick,Iwouldhavebeenquestionedoverhermurder.”

Thatmademelaugh.“So,you’reapsychopath.Goodtoknow.”

“Don’ttellanyone.IthinkI’mstartingtomakefriendsandIdon’twanttoscare

everyoneoff.”

“Yoursecretissafewithme.Don’tworry.”

“ThankGod.Imightstillhavetokillyou,though.”Hesmirked.“Doyou…Thisis

probablyareallydumbquestion,butdoyoumissyourmom?Likereallymissher.”

“Imisshereveryday,”Iansweredsoftly.“Itdoesn’thurttomissheranymore,it

justkindais,youknow?It’smorelikeit’sbecomeapartofmeandisasnaturalasthe
delightIfeelwhenIfindanextraTwizzlerinthepacket.”

“ATwizzler.”

“Ah,youhaven’tbeenintroducedtomyobsessionyet.Everyonewhocomestomy

househastobringmeTwizzlers.You’dbesurprisedhowsteadythatcandystreamis.”

“Goodtoknow.”Hepaused.“Andthanks.Foransweringthequestion.Itgivesme

hopethatwhenthetwinsunderstand,maybeonedaythey’llbeabletocopewithit.”

“Doyoumissher?”

Heblewoutalongbreath.“Idon’tknow,honestly.It’sabitliketheloneliness.I

thinkifIdo,Imisswhatshewoulddo.Like,Ellie’shair,orcuttingtheirnails,orsewing
upthekneesofEli’sjeans.Doesthatsoundbad?”

“Ithinkitmakessense.”Ibentmykneeandhuggedittomychest.“Youmissthe

factthattheydon’thaveamom.Youmisswhatsherepresentsinsteadofherasaperson.”

Herubbedhishanddownhisfaceslowly.“God,thatsoundsbad.”

“Idon’tthinkso.”Iglancedawaybeforemeetinghiseyes.“That’swhatmydad

missed,too,Ithink.Ourliveschangedsosuddenly,andhehadtolearntodoallthisstuff
he’dneverdone.Idon’tthinkhe’deverthreadedaneedleinhislifeuntilafterMomdied.
Overtime,hereachedapointwherehemissedwhatshewasmorethanwhohewas.He
hadtolearntobeaparentalloveragain.”

“Learntobeaparentalloveragain,”Brantleyechoed.“That’sexactlywhatitis.I

neverimaginedmyselfplaitinghairorputtingsoftenerinBarbie’shairbecauseshegot
draggedthroughabushbackwards.There’sjustsomuch…stuff.Andthat’sallitis.Stuff.
AndIcan’tthreadaneedleforthelifeofme.Ijustbuynewjeans.”

“It’sreallynothard.Especiallyifyoupatchtheknees.”

“Whatpartof“Ican’tthreadaneedle”isconfusingtoyou?”

Iglaredathim.“I’mgivingyouadvice.Takeit.”

“Istillcan’tthreadaneedle.Itreallydoesn’tmatterifpatchesworkornot.Iwon’t

beabletoapplythem.”

“Honestly,you’remakingitsoundlikethreadinganeedleislikerunninganarmy.”

“Irunanarmyeveryday.Theproblemis,Icreatedthem.”

“They’renotanarmy.”Irolledmyeyes.“AndI’llteachyouhowtothreada

needle.”

“Can’tyouthreaditforme?”

“IfIheartheword‘thread’onemoretime,I’mliterallygoingtopunchmyselfin

theface.”

Brantleyleanedforward.“Thread.”

Ipunchedmyselfintheface,thenwinced.

“Thathurt,didn’tit?”Hegrinned.

“Lil’bit,”Ireplied,rubbingthesideofmynose.“Thanksforhurtingme.”

“Ididn’tdoadamnthingtoyou.”

“Yousaidthewordandmademepunchmyself.”

Heshrugged.“You’retheonewhosaidyou’dpunchyourselfintheface.Iwas

merelyconductinganexperimentonyourabilitytofollowthroughwithyourpromises.”

“Great.Itwasasocialexperimentintrust.”Irubbedmynoseagain.“Thatreallydid

quitehurt.”

Helaughed,thenleanedforward.Twofingersbrushedmyjaw,andheturnedmy

facetotheside.“There’snothingthere.Idon’tknowwhyyouhityourselfsohard.”

“BecauseI’manidiot.Weestablishedthisearlier.”Iturnedmyheadback.

“Anadorableidiot.”

“Stillanidiot.”

“Thebestkindofidiot,”hecorrectedme,asmallsmileteasingathislips.“My

favoritekindofidiot.”

Iside-eyedhim.“Ican’tdecideifyou’restillcomplimentingme.”

“Don’ttakeittoohighly,”hereplied.“IhaveEllieinthe‘adorableidiot’camp,

too.”

Ileanedforwardandsmackedhisshoulder.“JustwhenIwasstartingtolikeyou.”

“Startingtolikeme?”Hesnatchedmyhand,wrappinghisfingersaroundmywrist.

Hisfingertipspressedontheinside,andherubbedhisthumbalongthesensitiveskin,
sendingatingleupmyarmthatmademeshiver.Eyebrowsraised,hecontinued,“Ithink
youlikemealotmorethanyou’relettingon.”

Then,likethe—adorable—idiotIwas,Isaid,“Proveit.”

Heblinkedandtuggedmetowardhim.Ididn’tmoveatfirst,buthegrinned

wolfishlyandpulledharder.Myresistancewasuseless,andIknewexactlywhathewas
doing.Ishouldhavestoppedhim,butatthispoint,Icouldn’t.

Iknewwhathewasdoing,andIwassofucked,becauseIwantedhimtodoit.

ChapterTwenty-One

Brantleypulledmerightovertohim,grinningthewholetime.Mystomachflipped

asheliterallydraggedmeontopofhimsoIstraddledhim.Mykneesdugintothe
cushionseithersideofhiships,andheslidhishandsupmythighs,grippingmyhips,and
pullingmerightagainsthim.

Mycrotchwasnestledagainsthis,andIswallowedhard.Thiswasprobablythe

mostintimatepositionwe’deverbeenin.Myheartbeatsofastmychestached.Ididn’t
knowwhattodowithmyhandsorwheretolook—nothing.

“You’reblushingagain,”hemuttered,eyesfindingmine.“You’resodamncute

whenyoublush.”

“Firstadorable,nowcute.You’redishingoutthecomplimentstoday.Anythingelse

youwannacallme?”Myhandsfinallycametorestonhisstomach.

“Plenty,”hesaidinthatsame,lowvoice.

Iwaitedforhimtoelaborate,andwhenhedidn’t,Isaid,“Well?”

Hetiltedhisheadtotheside.“No.”

“Comeon!”Itappedhischest.“Youcan’tsaythatandthenstoptalking.It’sgoing

todrivemecrazy.”

Hesmirked.“Welcometomyworld.”

Ignoringthat.“One.GivemeonewordthatyouthinkIam.”

“Well,likeyousaid,idiotiswellestablished…”

“I’mdone.”Ipushedmyselfoffhim.

Laughing,hepulledmebackintohim.“Youasked.”

“Yes.I’mregrettingitnow,”Isaiddryly.“Areyougoingtobeseriousornot?It’s

buggingme.Comeon.Givemeonewordyouthinkdescribesme.”

“Okay,allright.Fine.”Hethoughtforamoment,meetingmyeyes,thenreachedup

andpushedmyhairbehindmyearinstrikinglytendermoment.“Ithinkyouare
remarkable.”

Whoa.

Thatwasaweightedword.AndnotatallwhatI’dexpectedhimtosay.

Iwetmylipswithmytongue.“Remarkable?”

“Yes.”Henoddedonce,hisgazeneverwaveringfrommine.

“Why?”

“Youmakemefeelalive.”

Itookadeepbreathin.WhatwasIsupposedtosaytothat?WhatIwantedtoask

washow—howdidIdothat?Ididn’tdoanythingspecial.Iwasjustme.HowdidImake
himfeelalive?

“Youmakemelaugh,”hesaidsoftly,asifhecouldreadmymind.“Sometimes,it

feelslikeI’mnothingmorethanDad.But,withyou…Whenyou’rearound…Youmake
mefeellikeI’mmeagain.Theperson,notjusttheparent.Almost…Happy.”

Imadehimfeelalive.

Likehimself.

Happy.

Thatwascrazy.TherewasnowayIhadthateffectonsomeone.

Iwasjustme.JustKali.Crazyandidiotic.

Notallthethingshewassaying.

“Stop,”Isaidsoftly,slidingmyhandsuphischest.“That’snotme—that’syou.

That’syoulivingagain.”

Hecuppedmyjaw,hisfingerscurlingovermyskin.Ourgazescollided,andthere

wasnocontrollingtherapid-fireofmyheartasmydarkeyesmettheturquoiseperfection
ofhis.

“Maybeitis,”hereplied,tiltinghisheadinacknowledgementofmywords.“But

I’dberemissifIdidn’tadmityouhadanawfullottodowithit.”

Iswallowedhard.Mythumbstrokedacrossthesoftmaterialofhist-shirt,eliciting

ashiverfromhim.Thereactionwassounexpectedmybreathhitched,becauserealization
fellatthesametime.

HowmanytimeshadIshiveredathistouch?

Iaffectedhimthesamewayheaffectedme.

Islidmyhandsuphischest,andwithouthesitation,cuppedthesidesofhisneck

andkissedhim.

IknewIshouldn’tdoit,butIdidn’tcare.Therewassomethingdeep

and…jarring…aboutknowingthatImadeadifferenceinhislife.Somethingthathitme
hard,thatmademenotcareanymore.

Thatmakemewanttobreakalltherules,evenifitonlylastedforrightnow.

Mylipsworkedacrosshisevenasthethoughtsspedthroughmymind.Ididn’twant

tostop—Icouldn’tstop.Inthatmoment,IwantedhimmorethanIeverknewIcould
wantaperson.

Iwantedtofeelhim,breathehimin,suffocatemyselfwithhistouch.

Ididn’tcareaboutanythingotherthankissinghim.

Andtheforeignfeelingtookoverme.Grabbedholdofeverycellinmybody,

pushingitswaythroughmyveinsuntilIfeltitfromthetopofmyheadtothetipsofmy
toes.

Consumed.

Iwasconsumedwiththetasteofhim—consumedwiththewayIfeltwhenwe

kissed.Kissinghimmademefeellikeallmynerveendingswerefireworks,andeverykiss
wasafuseburningdownuntil,finally,everythingexploded,blindingmewiththe
intensity.

Brantleyflippedmeoverontomyback.Hishardbodycoveredmine,andI

welcomedhisweightashesettledoverme.Ourlipsmetagain,andIsighedashistongue
foundmine.

Myfingerscombedthroughhissofthair.Hishandsliddownmybodyanddown

mythigh,pullingmylegupashisfingersprobedmythigh.Ashiverranthroughmewhen
heshiftedandhishardeningcockpressedagainstmyclitthroughmyshorts.Thepressure
wasintense,makingmegaspintohismouth,andhislipstwitchedintoashadowofa
smile.

Itlastedonlyasecond.

Theamusementwasquicklyreplacedwitharawneedthattingledthroughmy

veins.ThekissmovedfromdeeptodesperatequickerthanIcouldkeepupwithit,and
beforeIknewit,myhandshadslippedoutofhishairandwastuggingatthematerialof
hisshirt.

Up,up,up.Ituggedituphisbodyuntilitwasscoopedunderhisarmpits.Hefinally

gotthemessage,sittingup.Itsliddown,andhegrabbedthehemandtoretheshirtover
hishead.

Mygazeflittedupanddownhistorso,overthehardpecsofhischesttothe

shadowsthatlinedthepacksofmuscleonhisstomach.

Steadyinghimselfwithonefootonthefloor,hepinchedthecollarofmyshirt,

tuggingwithahalf-grinonhisface.Hisfingertipstuckedbeneathit,brushingmy
collarbones,beforehesatfullyupright,grabbedmyarms,andpulledmeup,too.

Hewastednotimeinslidingtheshirtovermyshouldersanddownmyarms.He

threwittotheothersideofthesoda,thengrabbedatmytanktopandpulleditup.Iraised
myarmssohecouldpullitovermyhead.

Ibittheinsideofmycheekashisgazesweptoverthewhite,lacybrathatcupped

myboobs.Iglancedup,and,justlikethat,oureyesmet.

Hekissedmeagain.

Hungrier.Harder.

Together,wesankdownintothesoftcushionsofthesofa.Hishotskinrubbed

againstmine,andIcuppedhisneck,strokedhishair,exploredthemusclesoverhis
shoulders.

Iwantedtotoucheveryinchofhim—mapoutthedipsandcurvesofhisbodyand

commithimtomemory.Revelintouchinghimandfeelingthesensationofmyfingertips
acrosshisskin.

Thehairthatdottedthelowerhalfofhisstomachandtrailedoffbeneathhis

waistband.

Thegentlebumpofhisshouldermusclesastheyconnectedhisneckandhis

shoulders.

Theroughnessofhisstubbleagainstmychin.

Thesoftnessofhishairbetweenmyfingertips.

Thepressureofhiscockbetweenmylegs…

“Daddy?”Thecallcamefromsomewhereinsidethehouse,snappingusbothoutof

it.

“Here.I’mcoming.”Brantleystoodquicklyand,afteradjustinghispants,quickly

walkedintothehouse.

Iclappedmyhandsovermyface.Mycheeksburnedred-hot,andmystomach

droppedwiththerealizationIwasbasicallyhalf-naked,andonceagain,we’dbeen
interruptedfromgoingfurtherbyakid.

Sittingup,Igrabbedmyshirtsandstood,coveringmychestwiththemasImade

mywayinside.Footstepssoundedfromupstairs,andImovedintothefrontroomtoput
myclothesbackon.Ihadnoideawheremykeysorphonewere,becausemymindwas
spinning.

Spinningwiththeimplicationsofwhatwealmostdid.OfwhatIwantedtodo—of

whatIneverwouldhavestopped.

Myentirebodybuzzedwiththeafter-effectsofourmake-outsession.Therewasn’t

evenenoughlefttoregretit.IthinkIwaspastthat.IthinkI’dlongacceptedthataslong
asIworkedhere,I’dhavetofightwiththeirresistibleattractionIfeltforhim,even
thoughhewaseverythingIdidn’twant.

EverythingIthoughtIneverwanted,thatwas.

Iranmyfingersthroughmymussed-uphairandsighedheavily.WhatwasIdoing?

HadInoself-control?

No,wait.Iknewtheanswertothat.Ihadnone.Nonewhatsoever.

Igrabbedmytanktopandputittherightwayaroundbeforerollingitupand

shovingovermyhead.

IwasjustabouttoputonearmintherightholewhenIpaused,catchingsightofa

still-shirtlessBrantleyinthedoorway.

Hequirkedabrowatme.“Goingsomewhere?”

Iclearedmythroat.“Um,well…”

Slowly,hewalkedtowardme.Step,step,step…Closingthedistancebetweenus

untilhewasabreathaway.“Goingsomewhere?”herepeated.

Imovedback.GlancingovermyshouldertomakesureInevertrippedonanything,

Iwasapparentlyunabletojudgethedistancebetweenmeandthewallandslammedback
intoit.

“Oh,shit,”Imuttered,flatteningmyhandsagainstit.IcouldonlyimaginewhatI

lookedlikewithmywhitetankhangingaroundmyneck.

Anidiot.

Anidiotwastheanswer.

“Yes,”Ireplied,sinkingagainstthewall.“Can’tyouseeI’mbusytrappingmyself

againstthewalllikeanidiot?”

Brantreachedforward.Hisfingerscurledaroundmyshirt,andheloopeditovermy

head,thenthrewitbehindhimtothesofa.

Therewasapredatoryglintinhiseye,onethatmademeshudderwithanticipation.

Mywholebodyshiveredwithit.Iwasonfirewherehisfingertipshadbrushedacrossmy
collarbones.

“We’renotdone,”hemurmured,steppingeverclosertome,closingthedistance

betweenuscompletely.“They’reasleepand,rightnow…”hetrailedoff,sayingnothing.

“Rightnow,what?”Iasked.

Hesitationhitchedhisbreath,makinghischestheave,buthisturquoiseeyesnever

leftmine.“Rightnow,you’remine.”

“For—forwhat?”Istuttered.Myheartthunderedagainstmychest,becauseIknew

exactlywhatfor.

Brantpressedagainstme,cuppingmyface,hislargehandsignoringtheblistering

heatofmycheeksentirelyashetookcontrolofmyface.“Iwantyou,Kali.Iwantyouso
badlythatI’monthebrinkrightnow.AndIknowyoufeelthesameway—Icanfeelit.”

“Andwhatdoyouwantmetodoaboutthat?”

“Givein,”hebreathed,holdinghimselfagainstme.“Giveintowhatyouknowyou

want.Youwantme.”

“Maybeso,but—”

Lips.

Mine.

“Ican’t,”Iwhispered.

“Youcan,”hewhisperedrightback.“Once,Kali.Justonce.Bemine.Rightnow.

Tonight.Stopfightingit.”

Hewasright.Iwantedhim.Iwantedthis.

Iwrappedmyfingersaroundhisneckandpulledhimintome.Itdidn’tmeanI’dbe

his,butfortonight,maybehecouldbemine.

Pushedagainstthewall,heheldmesolid,flat,stable.Imeldedagainstthesurface.

Heleanedintome,handsridingdown,andpressedhismouthtomine.

“Trustme,”wasallhewhispered.

TrusthimwasallIcoulddo.

Hishandssliddownmybody.Heexploredmybodyfrommyheadtothe

waistbandsofmyshorts.Hetuggedthemdownandletthempoolatmyfeet.Pullinghis
lipsaway,hisexpectantgazemetmine,andIchewedtheinsideofmylipasIsteppedout
ofthemandflickedthemtothesidewithmytoe.

Hetrailedhisgazeupanddownmybodyafewtimes.Isquirmedbackagainstthe

wallunderhisscrutiny—untilIlookedrightbackathimandthebulgeinhispants.

Hecuppedmyfaceandkissedme,pressinghishipsrightagainstme.Thekisswas

deepandhungry,andasdesirethrobbedthroughmyveins,Ireachedbetweenusand
undidthebuttonofhisjeans.

Hewasright.

Iwantedhim.

AndtherewasnothingIcoulddoaboutit.

Ishovedhisjeansdownoverhisass.Helaughedagainstmylipsasthejeansfell

downtohisfeet.HesteppedoutofthemandkickedthemawaythesamewayI’ddone
withmyshorts.

Withbothofusinourunderwear,thiswasthepointofnoreturn.

Fuckit.

Icuppedhishardcock.Myfingersbrushedoverhisballs,andhejerkedhiships

intomyhand.Hebasicallypushedmyhandawayfromhimandtrailedhisfingertipsup
theinsideofmythigh.

Ishivered.

Hisfingersgotcloserandclosertomyachingclit.Iclenched,squeezingmythighs

together,butwithoneswiftmovement,heslippedhisfingersbetweenmylegsand
brushedthepadofhisthumbovermylacythong.

Anothershiverranthroughme.

Itookadeepbreathashetoyedwiththematerial.

“Openyourlegs,”hemurmured,slippingmypantiestotheside.

Iobeyed.Shuffledmyfeetacoupleinchesapart,althoughwhatIreallywantedto

dowasclampmylegsshut.

Hepeereddown,brushingthebacksofhisfingersacrossthemoundofskinabove

myclit.Then,slowly,carefully,heranonefingeracrossmypussy.

Igasped,flinchingatthecontact.

“You’resowet.”Hedippedhishead,kissingmyneck,hisfingerjustpushinginside

me.“Andyouweregoingtoleave.”Anotherfingerjoinedthefirstinsideme.Slowly,he
movedhishand,hisfingerspumpinginandoutofmywetness.

Iarchedmyback,eyesclosed.

Hegrippedmychin,pullingmyheadbackdown.“Openyoureyes.Iwantyouto

lookatmewhenyoucome.”

Icouldn’tspeak.But,Ididashesaid.Openedmyeyesandmethisgazeashe

workedhisfingersinsideme.

Hepulledthemout,movingnowtomyclit.Iachedsobad,andnevermindthat

staringintohiseyeswhilehecircledhisfingertipsovermyclitwasthemostawkward
thingIthinkI’deverdone,Iwantedtocome.

Ineededtocome.

Iwasturnedonbeyondbelief.

NeverhadIwantedsomething—someone—asmuchasIwantedthis.Brantley.

Iclenchedandclenchedasherubbedmyclit.Mylegsshook,andhewrappedan

armaroundmywaistasifheknewtheywerereadytogiveout.Ipressedfurtherand
furtheragainstthewall,asifIcouldsinkintoit.

Tinymoansescapedme,minglingwithhisharsh,heavybreaths.Itwastheonly

sound,andittookeverythingIhadtostayasquietasIwas.

“Come,”hewhispered,lipsclosetomine.“Come,andI’llfuckyou.”

IheldonforallofthirtysecondsbeforeIgavein.

TheorgasmfloodedthroughmewithasweetnessIdidn’tknowpossible.Everypart

ofmybodywastouchedbyit,fromthehairsonthebackofmynecktomyachingthigh
muscles.Itfeltsofuckinggood—Iwasbothexhaustedandexhilaratedbyit.

Heheldmeforamoment,thenhekissedmeandreleasedme.“Givemeaminute.

TakeofftherestofyourclotheswhileI’mgone.”

Ididadouble-take.“Whereareyougoing?”

Hemotionedtohiscock.“Togetacondom.”

“Oh.I,um.”WhatwasIdoing?I’dneverhadsexwithoutacondom.“Youdon’t…I

mean…”

Spititout,Kali.

Awkwardly,Iheldupmyarmandpointedtothetinyscarwheremycontraceptive

implantwas.“I’mgood,”Ifinallysaid.“And…Imean,Itrustyou.”

Heraisedhiseyebrows.“Youdon’twantmetowearacondom?”

“Ifyouwantto.I’mnotstoppingyou.I’mjustsaying.I’mgood.”

“You’resoawkward.”Hecamebacktome,cuppingmyface.Hekissedmedeeply,

thenhookedtwofingersinthesidesofmythongandpusheditdownmylegs.

BythetimeI’dsteppedoutofthem,I’dunhookedmybraandtakenitoff,too.

Hekickedittothesideandkissedme.Deeper…harder…moredesperatelythan

before.Withonehandonthebackofmyneck,hefidgeted.Droppedbothhands.Grabbed
mylegs—

Heavedmeup,wrappingmylegsaroundhiswaist.Hisnow-freecockbrushed

againstmywetpussy,andIcircledmyarmsaroundhisneckashegrabbedmyass,using
thewallasleverage.

Hereacheddownandpositionedhimselftoenterme.Inoneslow,easythrust,he

didjustthat.

Ihalf-moaned,half-gasped.

God,hefeltsogoodinsideme.

Bothhandsnowonmyassandgrippingitsotightitborderedonpainful,hemoved,

inandout,andsoonenough,Iadjustedtohim,anditwaseasy.

Hekissedme.

Movedfaster.

Reallyfuckedme.Likehemeantit,likeheneededit,likehewasdesperateto.

Whateveritwashewasfeeling,hechanneleditintohismovementsandfuckedmeharder
andharder,hisgriponmyassholdingmeinplace.

Mybackarched,andImoaned,mynailsdraggingacrosshisshoulders.WhetherI

wastryingtoholdontohimorpushhimaway,Ididn’tknow.Iwashotallover,myheart
thundering,andallIwantedwastofeelthereleaseIknewwasbuildingup.

Desperation.

That’swhathiskisstastedlike.

That’swhathefuckedmelike.

AndIlovedit.

Icouldn’tgetenough.Iwantedmore.Moreoftheassgrip,ofthelipbite,ofthe

deepsatisfactionIfeltwhenheburiedhimselffullyinsidemeandpressedagainstmyclit
atthesametime.

Moreofhisdeep,gutturalgruntsofpleasurewhenIsqueezed.

Moreofthehard-hittingorgasmthathadmeburyingmyfaceinhisshoulder,my

nailsdiggingdeepintohisskin.Ofthepleasurethatwrackedmybody,headtotoe,
sendingmyheartbeatskyrocketingasIcamehardalloverhim.

Hethrustedfaster,then,deepinsideme,stilled,moaningintomyshoulder.Iswear,

Ifeltitashecame.

Itshouldn’thaveturnedmeon,butitdid.

Heheldmethereagainstthewalluntilwe’dbothregainedourbreath.Leaning

back,hepulledoutofmeandgentlyloweredmylegstotheground.Mytoestouched
downtentatively,andalthoughIwasshaking,InoddedtotellhimIwasfine.

Brantleycurledonehandaroundthebackofmyneckandkissedme.Atoddswith

thewayhe’dfuckedme,itwasgentleandsweet,andseemedtosaysomanythingsI
couldn’tfigureout.

“Ohno,”Iwhisperedwhenhepulledaway.

“What?”Alarmtingedhistone,andhemetmyeyes.

Isighed.“Now,it’sgoingtobeawkwardwhenIleave.AndIhavetoleave,or

everyoneandtheirmotherwillbediscussingthefactIdidn’t.”

Heblinkedatme,thenburstoutlaughing.“Isthatit?”

“ThatandIhaveahealthyamountofcomedrippingdownmylegrightnow.”

Hetiltedhishead,lipstwitching.“Letmegetyouatowelforthat.”

“Thatwouldbegreat,thanks,”Ideadpanned.Andsqueezedmylegsshut.

God,thatdoesn’thappeninporn,doesit?

Nevermindporngivingmenunrealisticideasaboutapairoftits—it’dgivenmean

unrealisticexpectationofhowcleanwallsexwas.

Whichwasnotatall.

“Here.”Brantleyhandedmeablacktowel,andIstuffeditbetweenmylegsinthe

mostunladylikewaypossible.Helaughedatmeagain.“Now,forthesecondproblem…
Sinceyouliketorun,wouldithelpifIusedthebathroomandbeintherejustlongenough
foryoutogetdressedandleave?Noawkwardgoodbyes,nonothingthatyoutendto
avoid.”

Huh.

Thatwasn’tabadidea.

Inodded.“Let’sgowiththat.It’llsavemedoingsomethingstupidlikethankyou

fortheorgasmonmywayout.”

Hepressedhislipstogether,shouldersshaking.“Right.Well,I’mgoingtousethe

bathroom.”

Inoddedagain,castingmygazearoundformyclothes.Bra…shirt…shorts…

“Oh,and,Kali?You’rewelcomefortheorgasms.”

Igrimaced.Ah,well.HeknewIwasawkwardanyway.

Thesoundofhislaughteraccompaniedhisexit,andIquicklywipedmylegsand

betweenmythighs.God,sexwasgross.Theyreallyneededtoteachthatinsexed.

Igatheredmyclothes,shovingmybraandshirtonquickly.Myplaidshirtwasa

crumpledmessonthebackofthesofa,butwhatever.TheonlythingIcouldn’tfindwas
mypanties.

Wherethehellhadheputthem?

Anotherquicklook,andIhadtocringeandthrowonmyshortswithoutthem.

TherewasonlysolongBrantleycouldpretendtobeinthebathroom.

Igrabbedtherestofmythingsandpausedatthefrontdoor.

DidIshoutgoodbye?ThatI’dseehimtomorrowatten?

Shit.

IopenedthedoorandranbeforeIreallymadeafooloutofmyself.

ChapterTwenty-Two

Istaredattheceiling.Myalarmhadgoneoffanhourago,butI’dbarelymoved

frombedsince.Notthatitmattered,becauseIdidn’thaveanyworktodofirstthingthis
morning.

WhatIdidhavewasahealthydoseofregretforthedecisionImadelastnight.

Exceptthistimetheregretwasn’tbecauseofwhatI’ddone,itwasbecauseIdidn’tfeel
badaboutitatall.

No.ForthefirsttimesinceI’dmetBrantleyIwas…happy.Itfeltright.Theguilt

wastherebecauseitshouldn’thave,butnoamountofstaringattheplainwhiteceiling
wouldmakemefeelanydifferentlyaboutwhatwe’ddone.

Isighedandrubbedmyhandovermyface.IfIthoughtithadbeenawkwardafter

wekissed,Ididn’tknowwhatIwasgonnasaytohimtoday.

Moretothepoint,Ididn’tknowhowIwasgoingtocopewiththerealizationthatI

hadfeelingsforthisman.ItwasweirdthatithadtakensexformetorealizethatIhad
genuinefeelingsforhim,buthey,mylifewasweird,andsoIdidn’texpectthistobeany
different.

Thenextissue,ofcourse,waswhatIwasgoingtodoaboutthefeelings.Which

was,atthispoint,notadamnlot.WhatwasIsupposedtodo?Afterall,he’dmovedherto
escapethedeathofhiswife.Icouldn’texactlytrytoconvincehimtohavearelationship.

NotthatIwantedarelationship.

Besides,evenifIdidwantarelationship,fallingforamanwithchildrenwasnever

inmyplan.Except,ofcourse,theseweren’tjustanykids.EliandEllieweredifferent—
and,dammit.Iwasn’tjustfallingfortheirdad,Iwasfallingforthem,too.

Andthatwasthebiggestproblem.

AverytimeIlookedatthem,Isawmyself.Isawmyselfasthefive-year-oldgirl

wholosthermother.Granted,theylosttheirmotheralotyoungeragethanIhad,butit
didn’tchangethefactIknewhowitfelttogrowupwithoutone.

Notthatitmeantthatitwasmyjobtotakeoverastheirmom.

NotthatIthoughtIcould.Youdidn’tjusttakeoverajoblikethat,afterall.

See?ThiswasexactlywhyIdidn’twanttofallforsomebodywhohadkids.There

weretoomanyquestions,almostastrangekindofetiquettethatcameofthissituation.
AndIdidn’tknowhowtohandleit.Iwastooflightytohandleit.

But…wasthereawaytohandleit?Iknewmystepmotherhad.Portiahadneverhad

anissue,atleastthat’snotwhatitseemed.Tome,she’dsteppedsmoothlyintotheroleof
beingaparentalthoughsheneverhadanykidsofherown.Maybethatwaswhyshewas
ableto.Hermaternalinstinctshadbeenthereafterallandithadneverbeenherchoicenot
tohavechildrenbutonethattheuniverseisdecidedforher.

Thedifferencewas,I’dneverwantedtohavechildren.

Ithadneverevenbeeninmyplans.Neverconsidered,neverbeenanythingI’dever

particularlywanted.

Well,untilnow.

Atleast,IthoughtIwantedthat.

Maybe,IjustwantedEllieandEli.

Itwasastrangefeeling.IneverthoughtI’dfindmyselffallinginlovewith

somebodyelse’schildren.Theproblemwas,EllieandEliweresoveryeasytofallinlove
with.Sure,theyfought,butwhatkidsdidn’t?

No,thebestpartoftheirrelationshipwasthewaytheylovedeachotherevenwhen

theywerescreamingateachother.Nottomentiontheywerebothjustsoadorableit
wouldbehardnottolovethemanyway.

Withasigh,Ipushedthebedsheetstothesideandclimbedoutofbed.I’dlaidstill

longenough,anditwastimetogetupanddosomething.Evenifthatthingwasonly
walkingtothecoffeemachine.

Notthatwalkingtothecoffeemachinedidn’tachieveanything,and,honestly,itfelt

liketheonlythingIcoulddorightnow.

BecauseIstillhadn’tfiguredoutwhatIwasgoingtosaytoBrantleywhenIsaw

himthismorning.

Icouldn’texactlybelike,“Oh,hey,thanksforthesexlastnight,I’mgoingtobuild

yourkidswardrobenow.”

No.Ugh.

WhatwasIsayingaboutnotregrettinglastnight?

Stupidme.I’dspokentoosoon.

Iwalkedintothebathroomtoadoubletakeinthemirror.Thereweredarkbags

beneathmyeyesandmyhairwasmessedupbeyondbelief.

Honestly,IlookedlikeI’dbeeninafightwithabushandlost.

Iturnedontheshower,andstaredatmyselfinthemirrorwhilethewaterranbehind

me.Ilookedlikeshit.Mymake-upwassmudged,givingmedarkcirclesundermyeyes.
MydrylipsstillheldhintsofmyredlipstickwhereIhadn’tbotheredtowashmyface
beforegoingtosleeplastnight.

AndIdidn’tevenincludethezipthatwascominguponthesideofmynose.Great.

Justgreat.

Itookadeepbreathandgrabbedmyfacecloth.Idippeditundertheflowofwater

comingfromtheshowerandwipedmyfaceuntilalltracesofyesterday’smake-uphad
gone.

Isighedheavily,strippedoff,andgotintotheshower.

Lettingthewaterrushoverme,Itriedtorelax.Itwasn’tworking.Somanyhorror

theoriesaboutwhatwouldhappenwhenIsawBrantleywereswirlingaroundinmyhead.
Ididn’tknowwhyIwassonervous.WasitbecauseIknewhewasn’treallyinaposition
tohavearelationship?OrwasitbecauseIknewnomatterhowmuchIlikedhimthis
wasn’tthekindofrelationshipIwanted?

Wasitjustbecausehewasaclosetdirtytalker?

Ishiveredasthememoryoflastnightwashedoverme.Everythingisthoughtabout

himhadbeenprovendifferent.I’donlyeverseenasthisfunny,sexyguy,whowasagreat
dad.

But,lastnightsentmeadifferentsideofhim.It’dshownmethisalphamalewho

wasn’tafraidtotakecharge,andmakemedosomethingthathadmademeblushashard
asI’dcome.Icertainlyhadn’texpectedhimtogetmeoffandlookedmeintheeyewhileI
came.

Yeah.

DearGod.HowwasIsupposedtolookhimintheeye,knowingthatheknew

exactlywhatIlookedlikewhenIcame?

Jesus,Iwasamess.

IquicklywashedmyhairandsoakedoffbeforeIgotmyselfintoevenmoreofa

messthanIwasalreadyin.BythetimeIturnedofftheshowerwater,I’dgoneoverfifty
differentscenariosaboutwhatwasgoingtohappenwhenIfinallygottotheCooper
house.

Alloftheminvolvedmeblushinglikecrazyandhimsmirkingatme.Which,tobe

honest,wasexactlywhatwasgoingtohappen.

Withanyluckhe’dbetakingthekidsout,andI’dbeabletojustwalkin,go

upstairs,andgetonwithit.

Idressedinmyusualuniformandtoweldriedmyhairbeforeputtingthedamp

locksintoabraidthathungovermyshoulder.

Thebestthingtodowasgetthereandgetthisoveranddonewith.

Evenifitsucked.

***

Unfortunatelyforme,whenIpulledupoutsidethehouse,Brantley’scarwasparked

inthedriveway.

Great.

Isatinsidemytruckforaminutebeforetakingadeepbreath,gettingout,and

grabbingmytoolsfromtheback.

MyheartthumpedalittletoohardasIapproachedthefrontdoor.Itswungopen

beforeIcouldevenknock,andElliestoodinthedoorwaywearingnothingbutapairof
DisneyPrincesspanties.

Waell,IguessitwasbetterthantheinexplicabletimeElihadansweredthedoor

wearingasuperherocape,hisunderwear,andredrainboots.Atleastthisonecouldbe
explainedbyhergettingdressed.

“Ellie!”shoutedBrantleyfrominside.“Getbackinhereandfinishgettingdressed

orwe’renotgoinganywhere!”

“It’sKawi!”sheshouted,givingmeacheekygrinbeforerunningbackinside.

IhesitatedonlyforasecondbeforeIwalkedintothehallwayandshutthefront

doorbehindme.

“Iknowit’sKali,”saidBrantley.“Icanseehercaroutside.Willyounowplease

finishgettingdressed?”

Itookafewtentativestepstowardsthefrontroomdoor,mystomachturningasI

did.Lookingin,IsawthathehadhisbacktomeandwascurrentlywrestlingwithEli
aboutwhichholeyouarewentintowhichholeyourheadwentinto.Apparently,Elikept
puttinghisheadthroughthearmhole,meaningbothstrapsofhistanktopwereonone
shoulderandonlyonearmwasthrough.

“Daddy,wherearemyshorts?”askedEllie.“Deywerehereamimmitago.”

Brantleysighed,finallygettingEli’sheadandarmsthroughtherightholesofhis

superheroshirt.HeturnedtolookatEllie.“I’mgoingtosaytheyarewhereveryouthre
themfiveminutesagowhenyouwerehavingatantrum.”Heraisedeyebrowsather.

Ellieputherhandsonherhips.“Ididnothadatantwum,”shesaid.“Iwasjust

shawingmyannoyance.”

“Whateveryousay,”saidBrantley.“I’mcallingitatantrum.Idon’tcarewhatyou

wanttocallit.Justgoandfindyourclothes.”

Elislowlyraisedhishandpointinghismiddlefingerupattheceiling.Brantley

tiltedhisheadbacktolookupatwhathewaspointingat.I,too,followedthelineofsight,
andhadtostifleagigglewhenIsawwhatElihadspotted.

Ellie’sshortswerehangingfromthelightfixture.

Brantleyburiedhisheadinhishands.

Iguessitbeenthatkindofmorningforhim.

Withasigh,hestoodandpulledtheshortsfromthelightfixture.Hetossedthem

Ellie’sway,withasternlookforhertogetdressed.

Then,finally,heturnedtome,meetingmyeyes.Ittookallfortwosecondsfora

red-hotblushtoworkitswaythroughmycheeks.Hell,ifhewasthinkingwhatIwas
thinkinginthismoment—whichwashowitfelttobeagainstthewallwithhimfucking
me—thenIdidn’tknowhowhewasn’tblushinghimself.

HeglancedoverhisshouldertomakesureElliewasgettingdressedbeforewalking

towardsme.Aslow,easysmilestretchedacrosshishandsomeface.“Morning,”hesaid,

hisvoicelow.

Iclearedmythroatandscratchedthebackofmyneckawkwardly.“Morning,”I

replied.“Isalltheflatpackfurniturestillinthegarage?”

Henodded.“Sorry.Ididn’trealizethatwhatyouaredoingtodayorIwouldhave

takenupstairsforyou.”

Ishruggedoneshoulder.“It’sokay,”Isaid.“Iwashopingtobuildtheirclosets

today.”

Brantleynodded.“LetmehelpyoucarrythemupstairsbeforeItakethekidsout.”

“No,no.It’sokay.Icandoit.”

Hequirkedaneyebrow,smirking.“No,I’mhelpingyou.”

Iopenedmymouthtoarguefurther,butthewayhewaslookingatmetoldmethat

itwouldbefutile.So,insteadofarguing,Idecidedtogiveinandlethimhelpme.Hewas
goingtodoanyway.

Hepokedhisheadintothefrontroomtoseeifthekidswereokay.They’dboth

madetheirwayontothesofaand,theywere,fornow,sittingandwatchingTVnicely.He
motionedwithhishandtometofollowhim.

Iputdownmytoolboxatthebottomofthestairsandfollowinghimtowardsthe

doorinthekitchenthatledtothegarage.

Theboxeswerewherewe’dleftthemwhenthedeliverycameandIrifledthrough

themandthedeliverynotetofindtheboxthatEllie’sclosetwasin.

“Here,it’sthisone,”saidBrantley.Hetappedtheboxattheveryback.

Isighed.Ofcourse,itwouldbetheoneatthebackwherewe’dhavetomoveabout

sixboxestobeabletogettoit.“Allright.”Istaredatit.“Itlooksreallyheavy.”

Hesmirked.“That’sexactlywhyI’mheretohelpyou.

“AreyousayingI’mweak?”Iraisedaneyebrowteasingly.

Thesmirktransformedintoagrin.“No.Ifyouwereweak,thenmyshoulders

wouldn’tlooklikethey’dbeeninafightwithatiger.”

Onceagain,mycheeksflushedbrightred.“Yes,well,”Ipaused.Ididn’tknowwhat

tosaytothat.

Amusementdancedinhiseyes.Hegrabbedabox,hisbicepsflexingashemoved

it.“Asidefromnotraisingmychildrentobeassholes,Ithinkmylife’smissionistomake
youblusheverytimeIseeyou.”

“Itakeissuewiththatmission.”Ipushedaboxacrossthefloor.

“Why?What’swrongwithit?”

“Idon’tlikeit.”

“Youwantmykidstogrowuptobeassholes?”

Ifrownedathim.“That’snottheoneIwastalkingabout,andyouknowit.”

“Iknow.”HegrabbedaboxthatheldEli’sdresserandstackeditagainsttheother

wall.“But,you’realsoreallyadorablewhenyoufrown,soImightmakeyoudothat,too.”

“I’mnotadorable.Puppiesareadorable.Kittens,rabbits,hell,evenbabygoatsare

adorable.”Isniffedandrestedmyhandsontopoftheclosetbox.“I.Am.Not.Adorable.”

“Beautyisintheeyeofthebeholder.Personally,Idon’tcaremuchforrabbits.”

“NeitherdoI,butthatdoesn’tmeanthey’reugly.”

Heheldhishandsup.“Ithinkyou’readorable.Especiallyrightnow,whenyou’re

tryingtoglareatmewithyournoseallwrinkledup.”

Iclappedmyhandovermynose.“Canwenottalkaboutthis?Ihaveworktodo.”

“Wecannottalkaboutthisrightnow.Grabyourendoftheboxandliftitupon

three.One,two,three.”

Webothpickeditup.

Shit,itwasheavy.

“Thankyou,”Isaidaswecarrieditthroughthekitchentothehallway.

“Isaidrightnow,”Brantleycontinued,takingthefirststairandglancingoverhis

shoulder.

Iwasreallytakingthebruntoftheweightofthisbox,andmyarmswereshaking.

“Whatisrightnowsupposedtomean?”

“Itmeanswestillhavetohaveaconversation.”

“Aconversation?Aboutwhat?”

“Well,forastart,aboutthefactyourthongisinmywashingmachine.”

Ialmostdroppedthebox.

Hestopped.“Areyouallright?”

“Whythehellismythonginyourwashingmachine?”

Movingagain,hesaid,“Becauseyouforgottoputitbackonlastnightbeforeyou

left,andIthoughtyou’dappreciatemecleaningitforyou.”

Iexhaledslowly.“AndhereIwas,thinkingwecouldavoidmentioninganything

aboutlastnight.”

“Whywouldwedothat?Seeingyoublusheverytensecondsismuchmorefun.”

“Youhaveawarpedideaoffun.”

“Comingfromthewomanwhousesapaintbrushasamicrophone.”

WereachedthetopofthestairsandIletgoofthebox.“Look,”Isaid,puttingmy

handsonmyhips.“Firstofall,Ididthatonetime.One.Time.Second,Ihavealarge
hoardofveryadoringfansinyourbackyardwhowereincrediblyhonoredtohave
witnessedsuchafabulousdisplayofentertainmentfromme.”

Hislipstwitched.“Youhadonefaninthedoorwaywhoenjoyedwatchingyour

shakeyourassfortwominutesstraight.”

Iblinkedathim.“Imightbelatetotheparty,butwe’vedefinitelyshatteredany

illusionofprofessionalismhere,haven’twe?”

BrantleyshovedtheboxintoEllie’sroomand,then,veryslowly,turnedtomewith

oneeyebrowraised.“Yes.Ifiguredthatoutlastnight.RightaboutthetimeIwaseight
inchesdeepinsideyou.”

Icoughedonthinair.Mycheeksburnedagain,andhislipsformedasmirk.

“What’sthat?Threetimestoday?I’monfire.Likeyourcheeks.”

“Ohmygod!”Itookthelasttwostepsandsmackedmyhandagainsthischest.

“Youinfuriatingman.”

Hegrinned,leaningagainstthedoorframeasIpassedhim.“IfIkissedyouright

now,wouldyouslapmeagain?Itwaskindofhot.”

“Now,Iknowyou’remessingwithme.”Ipointedmyfingerathim.“Stopit.You

havechildrentotakeoutandIhaveahuge-ass,flatpackclosettobuild.There’snotime
foryourbullshit.”

HelaughedasIpassedhim,onceagain,butthistime,Ilefttheroom.Icouldn’t

builditwithoutmytoolswhichweredownstairs.Irandown,pokedmyheadintheliving
roomtoseethemiracleofthetwinsstillsittingnicelytogether,andgrabbedmytoolbox.

BrantleywasstillleaningagainstthedoorframewhenIgotbackupstairs.Hisarms

werefoldedacrosshischest,andhisgazefollowedmeasIekedpasthimintotheroom.

“Areyoujustgoingtostandthereandstareatme?”Isetthetoolboxdownnextto

thegiantbox.

“DoyoumindifIdo?”

“Yes.Ifyou’renotgoingtogoout,helpmeopenthisbox.”

“Areyouthisbossytoallyourclients?”

“No.Youshouldknowbynowyougetspecialprivileges.”Ipulledapocketknife

frommytoolboxandslicedopenthetapeholdingonesideoftheboxtogether.“Andnot
allofthemareenjoyableforyou.”

“Idon’tknow…”hetrailedoff.“Itisquiteenjoyablewhenyoutellmewhattodo.”

“It’sashameyoudon’teverdoit.”

Hegrinned.“Iwasonlygoingtothestore.Notsomewondrousdayoutwherethey

gettorunaroundlikehellions.Atapush,Iwasgoingtotakethemtothebeachtonight.”

“AllIhearfromthisisyouropinionthattheyneedtogosomewheretorunaround

likehellions.”Ipaused,andashoutcamefromdownstairs.

“Daddy!Daaaadddyyyy!”Ellie’sshriekgotlouder,andstompsonthestairsechoed.

“Ewihitme!”

Withoutblinking,hereplied,“Whatdidyoudotohim?”

“Nuffink!”

“Whatdidyoudotohim?”

Shemumbledsomethingunderherbreath,dippingherhead.

“Eleanor.”

“Pushedhimoffthesofa.”

Icoughedtohidemylaugh.

“Thenthelessonhereis,don’tpushyourbrotherandhewon’thityou,isn’tit?”

Brantleysighed.“We’vecoveredthisahundredtimes.”

“Butithurtedme.”Shesniffed,givinghimpuppydogeyes.

“Okay?So,let’sgodownstairs.I’llpushyouoffthesofaandyoucanseeifithurts,

too.”

Hereyeswidened,frompuppydogtodeerinheadlights.“No.I’mokay.Igosay

sowwynow.”

Brantleynodded,watchinghergo.

“Ican’tdecideifthatparentingtechniqueisbrilliantor…well,brilliant,”Iadmitted.

“Thankyou.”Hislipstwitched.“It’ssimple.Ifshedidn’tpushhim,hewouldn’thit

her.Afterthepaintfiasco,you’dthinkshe’dknowthat.Thestuffshedoesalwaysgetsa
reaction.”

“WhataboutEli?Willyoutellhimnottohither?”

“No.Ifshepushedhim,shedeservedit.Eventually,she’llgetthemessage.”

“So,basically,whatyou’resayingisthatyou’reraisingboththekidwhothrowsthe

firstpunchandtheonewhoalwayspunchesback?”

Hepaused.“That’sthemostaccuratedescriptionofmychildrenI’veeverheard.”

Ilaughed,openingtheboxfullyandpickinguptheinstructions.

Atleastthiswasn’tIkeafurniture.

Ilikedmypatience,andIwantedtokeepittoday.

“That’salotofpieces,”hemuttered,lookingatthebox.

“Aboutnormal.”Ipaused,thenlookedfromtheboxtohim.“Yousounded…weary.

Likethisisterrifying.”

“Idon’tbuildflat-packfurniture,”headmitted,droppinghisarmsandstuffinghis

handsinhispockets.“Ican’tbuildit,actually.”

Ilookedathimforamoment.“Noteven,like,atable?Orabookshelf?”

Grimacing,heshookhishead.“Myfatheralwaysusedtodoit.Forwhatever

reason,Ijustcan’tdoit.”

Iblinked.Severaltimes.“Youcan’tbuildflat-packfurniture?”

“Nope.Itdoesn’tmatterwhereit’sfrom.Whetherit’salocalstoreorIkea…”

“First,nobodycanbuildIkeafurniture.Well,Ican,butIdon’tliketo.”Iputdown

theinstructions.“But,this?Easy.Imightneedsomehelptoholdsomepiecestogether,but
honestly,it’slikestackingLego.”

“MorelikesteppingonLego,”hemuttered.

“Ican’tbelieveyoucan’tbuildflat-packfurniture.”

“Herewego.Inevershouldhavetoldyouthat.”

“I’mgoingtobringitupeverysingletimeyoumentionmeblushing.Ipromiseyou

that.”Ilaughed,sweepingtheinstructionstothesideandpullingoutthefirstbitofsolid
wood.“Every.Single.Time.”

Hepushedoffthedoor,smirking.“Rookieerror,Kali.”

“Whatis?”

“Whatyoushouldhavesaidisyou’llbringitupeverytimeImakeyoublush.Now,

I’llkeepmakingyoublush,andjustnotmentionit.”

Mylipsparted.“No,wait.That’snotfair!”

Hewenttostepoutofthedoor,thenstopped.“Youpromised.Youcan’ttakeit

back.Oh,andbytheway?Idreamedofyounakedinmybedlastnight.”

Igasped,movingforwardtobeonmyhandsandkneesasifIweregoingtochase

him.

“Whatacoincidence.”Hesmirked.“Youwerejustlikethat.”

Idroppedbackontomykneesimmediately.“Yourottenbastard!”Isnappedthrough

theburningofmycheeks.

Hewinked,and,onthatnote,left,shoutingforthekidstofindtheirshoes.

Istaredafterhimforthelongestmoment.

Thatsoundedlikeawardeclarationtome.

Mylipscurved.

Ifyoucan’tbeatthem…

Torturethem.

ChapterTwenty-Three

Look,Ididn’tmeantogohomeandgetchanged.

Well,notentirely.Ithadn’tbeenmyinitialidea,butwhenI’dbuiltthemain

structureoftheclosetandonlyhadtoaddintherailandtheshelves,andBrantleystill
wasn’tback,Imadeaflashchoicearoundlunchtime.

Inmydefense,he’dstartedit.Hewastheonewho’ddeclaredwaruponmeandmy

blushing.

Yeah.He’dstartedit,andIwasreadytofinishit.

Iadjustedmybraandglancedatmylegs.Thisskirtwasbasicallyindecent—like

hotpantsbutwithoutthestretchofdenimcoveringyourvagina.IhopedlikehellI
wouldn’thavetobendoveraroundthekids.

Jesus,thatwouldscarthepoorthingsforlife.

IslottedtherailintoEllie’sclosetandtookastepback.Thedoorswereopen,but

thepinkandwhiteclosetwaseverylittlegirl’sdream.Completewithcustomhandlesin
theshapeofatiara.Shewasgoingtofreakthehelloutwhenshegotbackandsawthis.

Iclosedthedoorsandgaveitapushacrossthefloorsoitwasagainstthewall.I

blewoutaheavysigh,thenturnedmyattentiontothemessofpackaging.MySpotify
playlisttickedovertothenextsong,andIhummedalongasthefamiliartuneofEd
Sheeran’sGalwayGirlfilledtheroom.

Itmadetheclean-upalittlebetter.Ijustwasn’tgoingtoholdanimpromptuconcert

thistime…justincase.

ThelastthingIneededwasforBrantleytocomeinandseemeusingascrewdriver

asamicrophonethistime.

Withallthetrashsortedandintheoppositecorner,Iheadeddownstairstothe

garageandfoundtheboxthathadEllie’sdrawers.Iwouldbuildherfurniturefirst,andget
herroomreadyexceptforthebedbeforeturningmyattentiontoEli’s.

Theboxwaslighterthanthecloset,andIwasabletomoveitmyself.Iheavedit

upstairsintoherroomandsetitdown.Iglancedaroundformypocketknifetosliceit
open,hummingalongtoanotherEdSheeransongIdidn’tknowthetitleof.Ifounditin
thetrashinthecorneroftheroom,grabbedit,andkneeleddowntoopenthebox.

“Jesus!”

MyhandslippedinshockandIslicedmyfingeropen.

“Shit!”Iimmediatelydroppedtheknifeandbroughtmyfingertomymouth.

“Ouch!”Imumbledagainstmyfinger.

“Oh,shit.”Brantleycrossedtheroomintwoquickstrides.“Iwasabouttotellyou

towarnaguyyou’rewearingnexttonothing,butnevermind.Letmelook.”

Ishookmyheadandpulledmyfingeroutofmymouth.“It’sfine.It’snotdeep.It’ll

stopbleedinginaminute.”

Itreally,reallyfuckinghurt,though.

“Letmesee.”Hegrabbedmywristandlooked.“That’snotgoingtostopbyitself.”

“Howdoyouknow?”Ibroughtitbacktomymouth.

Hemetmyeyesandsaiddryly,“Ihaveafour-year-oldson.I’veseenmorecutsand

scrapesthanyoucanimagine.ComedownstairsandI’llgettheFirstAidkit.”

“It’sfine,”Imumbledagainstmyskin.“Really,it’smyownfault.”

“Iwon’targuewiththat.”Hestood.“Comeon.”

Isighedandfollowedhim.Maybehewasright—myfingerwasshowingnosigns

ofslowingdownitsbleeding.

Justgreat.

“Ohno,”Elibreathed,sittingatthekitchentablewithappleslices.“Doyouhada

booboo?”

Igrimacedinpainandnodded.“Yep.Openingabox.”

“Openingabox?”Ellieasked,hervoicegettinghigherattheend.“Howdoyoucut

yourselfopeningabox?”

“Whenyourdaddystartsshoutinginthedoorwayandscaresme,”Ianswered

honestly.

“Oh,Daddy!”Elliestaredathim.“LookwhatyoudidtoKawi.”

Brantleyfroze,plastictubinhand.“Ididn’tdoanything.IfIknewshehadaknife

inherhand,Iwouldn’thavesaidanything.”

“Lies,”Imutteredundermybreath.

Hemetmyeyes.“Yourownfaultandyouknowit.”

“Youstartedit.”

“Whostartedwhat?”thetwinsaskedinunison.

“Nevermind.Eatyourfruit,”Brantleysaidwavingmeovertotheside.“Rinseyour

fingeroffanddryitcarefully.”

Ididashesaidashebasicallyemptiedthecontentsofahospitalstorageroomonto

thecountertop.IwasseriouslyimpressedbytheamountofBand-Aid’s,bandages,and
variousotherfirst-aidtypebitshehadinthere.

“Wereyouadoctorinapastlife?”Iaskedholdingthedarkredtowelaroundmy

finger.

“No,”hereplied.“I’maparentinthecurrentone.You’dbesurprisedhowoftenI

restockthisthing.”

IglancedatEliwhocurrentlyhadascrapeonhiselbow.“MaybetwoweeksagoI

wouldhavebeen.Now?Notsomuch.”

Helaughed,takingthetowel.“You’relearningfast.Restyourarmonthecounter

andI’llbandageyourfingerup.”

“Idon’tthinkI’mlearninganything,”Isaidslowly,puttingmyforearmonthe

towel.“Everythingjustmakesabitmoresensenow.”

“Whateveryousay.”Hegottoworkonwrappingmyfinger.

“Whatareyoudoo-win?”Ellieasked.“Upstairs.”

Iturnedmyheadtothesideandofferedherasmile.“I’mbuildingyourfurniture,

actually.Ididyourclosetalready.IwasabouttostartyourdresserwhenIcutmyself.”

“Ohno!Ismydwesserokay?”

Brantleysnorted.

“Perfectlyfine.Unlikemyfinger.”

“You’retheonewithbutterfingers,”Brantleysaid,wrappingabandagearoundmy

finger.

“Youscaredme,”Ishotback.“Ididn’tdoitonpurpose.”

“Canyoustillbuildmydwesser?”Ellieaskedaroundamouthfulofstrawberries.

Itwasnicetoknowwhereherprioritieswere.

Iwasfine,notthatshecared.

“Yes,Icanstillbuildyourdresser,”IrepliedasBrantleytapedmyfinger.

“Amazing.Youcandothat,butnotbuildabookshelf.”

Hesighed,droppinghisheadback.“IcouldbuilditifIhadto.But,Idon’thaveto.

Youdo.”

“Ithinkyou’relying.”Iadmiredhishandiworkonmyfingerbeforecrossingmy

armsandultimatelywincingasIputpressureonmycut.

“Daddycan’tbuildwego,”Elisaid.“HetwiedtobuildacastleforEwwiebut

couldn’t.”

“Okay,first,”BrantleywaggledhisfingeratEli,“Therewerebricksmissing.”

“Istoledem.”Elliegrinned.

Brantleyflickedhisgazetoher.“Exactly.Andsecond,IcanbuildLego,Ijust

choosenotto.”

“Becauseyoucan’t?”Ioffered.

“Don’tyouhavesomethingtodo?”

“Mandatorybreak,”Ireplied.

“Onwhatgrounds?”

“Myfingerreally,reallyhurts.”

Hestaredatmyhand,thenshookhishead.“Idon’tknowhowtoarguewiththat,so

I’mnotgoingto.I’mgoingtosayokayandleaveitatthat.”

Smartchoice.AndhesaidIwastheonewhowaslearningfast…

“CanIhelpyoubuildmydwesser?”Ellieasked,pickingupanapplejuiceboxand

sippingonitsohardhercheekshollowedout.Trailsofredjuicedribbleddownherchin
fromthestrawberries.

Brantleyhitabuttononthedishwasherandclosedit.“Whathappenedlasttime

someonetriedtohelp?”

“But,there’snopaintdistime,”shereplied.

Ha.Point:Ellie.

“Kalialreadyslicedherfingeroff.Icanonlyseethisendingbadly.”

“Ididn’tslicemyfingeroff.It’sjustascratch.”

“Ascratchthatwon’tstopbleeding.”

“Ohmygod,you’resopedantic.Whatever.”

Heburstoutlaughing.“You’refeistytoday.Isitthattimeofthemonth?”

“Youknowdamnwellitisn’t.”Iputmyhandsonmyhips.“I’mnottakingthis.I’m

goingtowork.”

MorelaughterfollowedmeasImademyexit,andIrealizedthatwasexactlywhat

hewastryingtogetmetodo.

Ipausedatthebottomofthestairs.“Wellplayed!”

Again,laughter.

“Ellie!Let’sgo!”Icalled,wavingmyhandtowardher.

“Yes!”Shethrewhertinyfistintotheairandjumpedoffherchair,scramblingafter

measIheadedupstairs.

***

Ellietippedatinybagofthescrewsintoherhand.Holdingitout,shepickedone

screwoffherpalmandhandedmeit.

“Thankyou,”Isaid.

Apparently,four-year-oldslikedscrewsifitmeanttheycouldhelp.Organizingall

ofthemhadkeptheramusedfortheentiretyofthisbuild—she’dtakenthemallout,
sortedthemintopiles,andthenputthembackinbags.

“Kawi,”shesaid,watchingmeasIscrewedtogetheradrawer.

“Yes?”

“Doyouwikemydaddy?”

Ipausedmid-screw.Thatwasaloadedquestion.“Whatdoyoumean?”

Sheshifted,thentuckedsomeofherhairbehindherear.“Areyoufwiends?”

“Sure.We’redefinitelyfriends.”

“Areyoufwiendswhokiss?”

Iblinkedather.ThiswasnotaconversationI’deverpicturedmyselfhaving.“Why

doyouask?”

“’Causehewaughswotsnow,andIknowhedoesn’thaveanyfwends.”

Itightenedthescrew,thensetdownboththecompleteddrawerandmyscrewdriver.

Thiswasoneobservantchild.

AndIhadnoideahowtohavethisconversationwithher.

“HaveyouaskedDaddythis?”

Sheshookherhead.“Idon’twannamakehimsad.”

“Whyareyouaskingme?”Isaiditgently,becauseIgenuinelywantedtoknow.

“Daddywassad.Denwemovedhere.”Shedroppedhereyesandplayedwiththe

screwsinherhand.“Denyoucame.AndnowDaddyishappy.And,and,sometimes,
whenI’msad,DaddykissesmeanddenI’mhappyagain.So,Ifortmaybeyoukissed
Daddyandmadehimhappyagain.”

Wow.

Kidlogic.

Prettyaccurate,actually.

Shit.

Itookadeepbreathandslowlyletitgoagain.HowwasIsupposedtoanswerthat?

HowwasIsupposedtoansweritinawaythatshewouldn’ttakeitandcomeupwith
somewildscenario?

Because,yes,IhadkissedDaddy—andawholelotmore—andhe’dalreadytoldme

thatImadehimfeelhappy.ButexplainingthattoElliewhensheobviouslyhadsomekind
ofhopeforsomethingwouldnotbeeasy.

Maybeitshouldn’tevenbeexplainedatall.

“Ilikeyourdadverymuch,”Isaidslowlyandcarefully.“Butthatdoesn’tmeanI’m

thereasonhe’ssohappy.Maybehereallylikesithereinyourlovelynewhouse.”

Sheshookherhead,hercurlsbouncing.“No.Hewaughsawotwiffyou.”

“MaybehethinksI’mfunny.LikeyouthinkthatdogonthatTVshowthat’sreally

clumsyisfunny.”

Shelookedup,ahintofagrinonherface.“Marshallisfunnywhenhecwashesinto

theelevader.”

“Right?See,maybethat’showDaddythinksI’mfunny.”

Thesmileslowlydroppedfromherface,andshenodded.“Okay.”

Imovedthedrawertothesideandgrabbedtwopiecestostartthenextone.Shewas

alreadyhandingmeascrew.Itookitandpaused.Therewassomethingelsebotheringher.

“Ellie?”Isaidsoftly.“Istheresomethingelse?”

Shelookedupandmetmyeyes.“AlltheudderkidsatSummer’shousehavea

mommy.”

Oh,boy.

“Yes,theydo,”Isaidcarefully.

“But,mymommyisanangel.”Shefrowned.“DoyoufinkIcanhaveanudder?”

Oh.

Boy.

Istartedscrewing.“Well,maybe.That’ssometimeshowitworks.Didyouknow

thatmymommyisanangel,too?”

“No.Whendidshegwowwins?”

“Iwasfive,”Isaid,takingthenextscrew.“Iwasverysad,butwhenIgrewupa

littlebit,mydaddymetsomeoneelse,andnowshe’smystep-mommy.”

“Doesshedofinslikebwaidyourhairandpaintyournailsandhelpyoupick

pwettydwesses?”

“Sheusedto.I’manadultnow,butshedid,yeah.”

“DoIhadtowaituntilI’mbigforanewmommy?”

“That’suptoDaddy,Iguess.Hehastofindsomeonewhomakeshimhappyand

wholovesyouandyourbrother.”

“Likeyoumatehimhappy?”

“Kindoflikethat.”Istopped.“Maybeyoushouldfinishthisconversationwith

Daddy.Hewillprobablyhavemoreanswersthanme,okay?”

Shefrownedagain,butshenoddedinagreementanyway.Thankgod—thatwas

rapidlyapproachingalineofquestioningIhadnoanswersfor.

IfIdidn’tstop,Iknewshe’dconnectthings.AndtheverylastthingIwantedtodo

wastobreakherheart.

BecauseIwasn’tevensureifI’dacceptedhowIfeltaboutBrantleyyet.

***

“Man,thatescalatedquickly,”JaydasaidwhenIwasdoneexplainingeverything

thathadhappened.Shetoreoffapieceofnaanbreadandtiltedherheadtotheside.“Did
sheaskBrantleyanything?”

Ishrugged,dippingmyownbitofnaanintothesauceonmyplate.“Idon’tknow.

Shehungarounduntilwe’dfinishedbuilding,thendisappeared.Iputupacoupleof
shelvesandleftquickly.”

“Wasn’titawkward?”

“Idon’tthinkheheard,honestly.WhenIwasdone,hewasonaworkcall,soIjust

motionedthatIhadtoleaveandcamehere.”Inibbledonthebread,thenputitdownand
reachedformywine.“It’sall…Shit,Idon’tknow,Jay.”

“It’sallfuckedup,”shefinishedforme.

“Basically.”Isighedandleanedbackonthesofa.

Shecradledherwineglassagainsther,nestlingherselfintothecorner.“Areyou

onlyfeelinglikethisbecauseyouseehimliterallyeveryday,though?Like,whenyou’re
donenextweek,howoftenareyougoingtoseehim?”

Thatwasagoodpoint.

“Andisheevensomeoneyou’dconsiderdatingifyouhadn’tmethimlikethis?No.

Becauseofthekidthing.Andtheonlyreasonyou’reinthissituationisbecauseyouknow
andlikehiskids.”

“You’retheonewhotoldmetoscrewhim,remember?”

“Yes,”shesaidslowly.“ButIdidn’tknowyouhadfeelingsforhim.”

“NeitherdidIuntilhefuckedmesevenwaystoSunday.”

Shesnorted.“Funnyhowthathappens.”Sherestedherglassonherthigh.“Imean,

thinkaboutthis,Kali.Ifyouactedseriouslyonthewayyou’refeelingrightnow,literally
everythinginyourlifewillchange.Youwouldn’tbesteppingintobabysitbecausehe’s
desperate.Thekidswouldbecomeyourresponsibility.Areyoureadyforthat?”

“YouassumeI’mgoingtotellhimthatIhavefeelingsforhim.”

“Well,that’sthefirstthingyouneedtodecide.”

“Iloveitwhenyoustatetheobvious,”Isaiddryly.“Idon’tevenknowhowIfeel.

Areyouright?Maybe.Maybeit’sjustbecauseIseehimeverysingledayrightnow.I
don’tknow.”Ileanedmyheadagainstthesofa.“Ineedtofigureitout.”

Jaydanodded,almostgrimacingasshedid.“Andyouneedtodoitquick.Isitjust

attraction,orareyoufallingforhim?”

“Thanks,Dr.Phil.”

“You’rewelcome.”Shegrinned.“Onethingyoucoulddoisgoonadateandsee

howyoufeelaboutitthen.”

Iwinced.“Ihaven’tcheckedtheappfordays.”

Sheraisedhereyebrows.

“Ihaven’thadachance!”

“Becauseyou’vebeengettingdrilledagainstawall?”

Isighed.“Shutup.”

ChapterTwenty-Four

Isweptthepencilacrossthewall,usingmyphoneasareferenceforwhatthe

Supermanlogolookedlike.I’dspentthelasthourdrillingandputtingupshelvesinEli’s
room.Thefloorwascoatedindustfromthedrilling,butIcouldn’tbebotheredtocleanit
upjustyet.

Iusedmyspiritleveltomakesurethelineswerestraightfortheoutsideofthelogo.

Thegoldwritingonthepencilread‘Don’tbeatwat,’andkeptcatchingmyattentionasit
glintedinthelight.

Nobodyreallyneededtwentypencilsthatread‘Don’tbeatwat,’butIhadthem,

thankstomymom.

Itwasagoodmottotoliveby,tobehonest.

ThesilenceofthehousewaswelcomeasIsketchedontothewall.Thelogowas

simple,butthestraightlineswerekillers.Still,Igotitdoneafterabouthalfanhourof
drawing,andmovedtopaint.

Ididn’tgettodothisoften,anditwasnice.Nicetobreakawayfromthenoiseand

occasionaltediousnessofmyjob.

IlovedwhatIdid,buttherewasonlysomanytimesyoucoulddosomethingbefore

yougottiredofit.Ifeltthatwayaboutpaintingingeneral,sodoingtheSupermanlogo
wasfun.

I’djustfinishedtheredwhenthefrontdooropenedandthenshutagain.Thetwins

wereatdaycare,andsinceI’dskippedoutlastnighttogotoJayda’s,thiswouldbethe
firsttimewewerealonesince…well,yeah.

Ikindahopedhewouldn’tcomeupandtalktome,butIknewhimbetterthanthat.

NosoonerhadIthoughtthatthanIheardhimonthestairs.

Ibentdownanddippedmybrushintotheyellowpaint.

“Hey,”hesaidfromthehallway.“You’renotholdingaknifetoday,areyou?”

“Ha.You’refunny,”Ireplied,gettingexcesspaintoffthebrush.“Justapaintbrush

today.”

“AmIinterruptingaprivateconcert?”

“I’mnevergoingtoliveanyofthisdown,amI?”

Brantleyfinallysteppedintotheroomwithawolfishgrinonhisface.“No,”he

said.“Notevenclose.”

Isighedandstartedpaintingagain.“Sounfair.”

“Howisyourfingertoday?”

“Painful,butitstoppedbleeding.JustanormalBand-Aidtoday.”Iwiggledmy

fingersinhisdirection.

Henoddedslowly.“Good.”

Igotmorepaintonmybrushandcarriedon.Neitherofussaidanythingfora

moment,andthesilencewasbothcomfortableandawkward.HowthatwaspossibleI
didn’tknow,butIdidknowthatIdidn’tmindbeingaroundhiminsilence.

“Doyouwanttogetlunchtoday?”

Ifroze.“Justlunch,or…likeadate,lunch?”

Hequirkedaneyebrow.“Doesitmatter?Lunchislunch.”

“Inarestaurant?”

“TheCoastal?Sure.”

“We’dbemorelikelytokeepourclotheson.”Welp.Ididn’tmeantosaythatout

loud.

Brantleyconsideredthis.“Icanorderin.”

Iwavedmyhandathim.“Stopthat.I’mworking,andI’mdeterminedtoget

finishedontimesotheycanhavetheirroomsinafewdays.”

Heglancedaround.“Areyoureallyalmostdone?”

Inodded.“Ijusthavetobuildtherestofthefurniture,mostly.Oh,andputupthe

curtainpoles.”

“Wow.”Hecasthisgazeovertheroom.“That’llbeweirdwhenyou’redone.I’m

usedtohavingyouhere.”

Ismiled.“You’lllikeitevenmorewhenI’mnot.”

Hedidn’trespond,justinclinedhisheadslightlyinmydirection.“So,lunch?Here

orout?”

Itwistedmymouthtotheside.“Whenever.Iplannedtostopinanhour.”

“Doyouhavetimelimitforlunch?”

“Notreally.I’lljuststayabitlater.”

Hebobbedhishead.“Let’sgoout.I’llcalltheCoastalandseeifMarciecansaveus

atable.”

“Soundsgood.”Ismiled,andhereturneditrightbeforeheturnedandleft.

Mybrushhoveredoverthewall.

Wasitadate?

Damnit.

***

Theroaroftherestaurantwasloud.Apparently,therewassomecompetitiondown

onRockBaybeachandtheCoastalhadpickedupallthepeoplewho’dturnedoutforit.
Everytablewasfull,andIwasdefinitelygladthatBrantleyhadcalledahead.We’dbeen
abletowalkrightinandgotoourtable,passingthepeopleinthefrontfoyerwhowere
waitingforonethemselves.

Marcieeyedwithmeraisedeyebrows,alookthattoldmeshewantedtoknow

everythingassoonasshepossiblycould.Sheputourcoffeesdownand,withonelast
glance,excusedherselftoanothertable.

Brantley’slipstwistedinamusement.“She’snotverysubtle,isshe?”

Igrimaced.“Aboutassubtleasanuclearbomb.”

Helaughedquietly,openingthesugarpacketsshe’dbroughtandpouringacouple

intohiscoffee.“Howmuchdoyouwanttobetshe’sgoingtocallyourmomandtellher
we’rebothheretogether?”

“Fiftysaysshe’salreadyonthephone.”Isnorted.“Whatever.Peoplearealready

talking.Itdoesn’tmatter.”

“Itreallybothersyou,doesn’tit?Thegossiping.”

“Itdoesn’tbotheryou?”Iquestioned,thenshrugged.“Iwouldn’tsayitbothersme.

I’musedtoit.Idowishpeoplecouldkeeptheirnoseoutofmybusiness,though.”

“IguessI’mstillatthestagewhereI’mcharmedbythissmalltownandallitslittle

idiocies.”

“Littleidiocies.”Ilaughed,finallypullingmymugtowardme.“That’sonewayto

describeit.”

“Well,theyare.They’rekindofcharming,inareallyweirdway.Thegossipis…

unusual,tome.I’mnotusedtoeveryoneknowingeverything.”

“Yeah,well,youstartedthatwithuswhenyoutoldeveryoneI’dstayedlateor

whateveritwasyousaid.”

Hefrownedforamoment.Iwatchedasrealizationdawned,andhelaughedhard.

“Oh,god.Inevertoldyou.”

“Nevertoldmewhat?”Inarrowedmyeyes.

Brantleyscratchedthebackofhisneck.“Ineversaidthat.Itwasajoke.Iwas

fuckingwithyou.”

Ileanedoverthetableandsmackedhisarm.“Ohmygod.Allthatstress,andfor

what?Youass!”

“I’msorry.”Hedidn’tlooksorryatall.“IforgotIneversaid.”

“Yeah,sure.Whatever.”

Thistime,hislaughterwassilent.“Well,thereyougo.Now,youknow.”Hesipped

hiscoffee,eyesshiningwithmirth.“Ididactuallywanttotalktoyouaboutsomething.”

“Ishouldhaveknowntherewasacatchwiththislunchthing,”Isaid.“Doesthat

meanit’snotadate?”

“It’sahalf-date,”hereplied.

“IthinkIcandealwiththat.Whatdidyouwanttotalkabout?”

Hepaused.

AndIknew.Iknewexactlywhathewasabouttosay.

“YouheardmyconversationwithEllie,didn’tyou?”Ibeathimtoit.

Henodded.“Iwascominguptocheckshewasn’tbeingapaininyourass.Idon’t

thinkIhearditall,butIheardenough.”

Iswallowed.God—whatifhethoughtI’doversteppedmybounds?HadI

overstepped?ShouldIhavejustnothadthatconversationwithheratall?

“I’msorry,”Istarted.“IfIshouldn’thavetalkedaboutitwithher,butIdidn’tknow

whattosay.”

Hisbrowstwitchedintoafrown.“What?No—it’snotthatall.Iwantedto,first,

thankyouforhowyouhandledit.Icouldtellshecameatyoufromleftfieldwithher
questions.”

Iblewoutalongbreathandslumpedbackalittleinmyseat.“Honestly,yeah.AndI

knewwhatshewasfishingfor,but…”Itrailedoff,lookingaway.

“Butthat’snotwhatyouwant,”hefinishedforme.

Notcoldly,notsadly,notanything.Justastatement.

Onethatwastrue.

Oronethatwas.

Was…

Maybe.

Ipickedatmynapkin.“Idon’tknowhowtorespondtothat,”Iadmittedquietly.“I

don’tknow,Brant.Thatwouldhavebeentrueevenaweekago,butIdon’tknowhowI
feelrightnow.”

Heraisedhiseyebrows,surpriseglintinginhisturquoisegaze.“Thatwasn’twhatI

wasexpectingyoutosay.”

“Well,I…”Isighed.WhatthehellcouldIsay?HowcouldIexplainfeelingsI

didn’tunderstand?“Idon’tknowwhattosaytoyou.”

Herestedhisforearmsonthetableandleanedforward.“Youdon’thavetosay

anythingtome.Youdon’towemeanykindofexplanation,nomatterhowmuchIwant
oneforthatvague-assanswer.”

Ihalf-smiled.“Therearealotofthingsinmyheadrightnow.I’mbasicallyarguing

withmyselfawholelot.”

“Careful.Idon’twantyoutothinktoohardandhurtyourself.”

Istaredathimflatly.

Hegrinnedatme.Arealboyishgrinthatsentbutterfliesthroughmystomach.“I

stilljustwanttosaythankyouforthewayyouhandledher.Shenoticesalot,and…it’s
notalwaysagoodthing.Fortherecord,youalreadyknowthatwhatshesaidistrue.”

Alumpformedinmythroat.“Iknow.”

Hetookadeepbreath.“AndIlikeyou,Kali.Ilikeyoualot.”

Myheartskipped.

“Iknowit’shardandit’scomplicated,butIwantedtomakethatcleartoyou.”He

paused,thenscratchedathisjaw.“ThelastthingIexpectedwhenImovedherewasto
findsomeonelikeyou.”

Hiswordscurledandcurvedthroughmybody,grabbingholdofme.

ThelastthingIexpectedwhenIknockedonyourdoorwastofindsomeonelikeyou.

ThatwaswhatIwantedtosay.But,thewordswouldn’tcome.

Iwassavedfromanimmediatereplybythearrivalofourfood.Afteraquickcheck

onwhetherwehadeverything,wewerelefttoourselvesandIfinallygrewapairand
askedthequestionaboutsomethingIhadn’trealizedwasevenbotheringmeuntilnow.

“CanIaskyousomething?”Imethiseyes.

“Anything.”

Ilickedmylips.“AmI…”Deepbreath.“AmIthefirst?Sinceshedied?”

Hestaredatmeforamoment,thennoddedhishead.Justonce.“I’mafatherbefore

anythingelse.Iwasn’tlookingtomeetanyonewhenImetyou.”

Iswallowed.“Igetthat.Iwasjustwondering.”

Hesmiledwryly.“Well,I’msogladwegottohaveanice,lightconversationover

lunch.”

Istaredathimforamoment,mylipstwitching,thenstartedtolaugh.“You’rethe

onewhowantedthischat.”

“True.Itescalated,though.”

“Isthatabadthing?”

Hepickeduphisforkandlethislipscurlintoasmallsmile.“Ihopenot.”

***

Elliestaredatme.“Areyoudoneyet?”

Iglancedupintothedoorway.“Nope.Notquite.”

Shesighedandleanedagainsttheframe.“Oh,gosh.It’stakingsowong.”

Ifoughtbacklaughter.“I’msorry.Maybethreemoredays.Fouratmost.Isthat

okayforyou?”

“Can’tyoudoitkicker?”

“’Fraidnot.IwishIcould.”Shehadnoidea.

“Dat’sokay.”Sheputherhandsinthepocketsofherskirt.“Daddy’sworkingand

Ewiisasweeponthesofa.Ibored.”

Itiltedmyheadtotheside.“Okay.Didyouwanttohelpme?”

“Whatareyoudoing?”

“I’mbuildingyourtoybox.Seethepinklid?”

Shenarrowedhereyes.“CanIdosomescwewing?”Hopeflashedacrossherface.

“Sure.Comesit.”Iwavedherover.“Here’sascrewdriverforyou.”

“Oh.It’spink,”shebreathed.

“They’reallpink.”Igrinnedandmovedthetoolboxbetweenus.“See?”

“Wow.”Wondercrossedherlittleface.“Dat’s‘mazin’.”

Igrinned.

“Howdoyouknowwhichoneyouneed?”

“Whichscrewdriver?”Iclarified.

Shenodded,clutchingholdofthehandlesotightherknuckleswentwhite.

“Thescrewsaredifferent.Look.”Ipickeduponeofthecrossheadscrewsand

showedittoher.“Ifyoulooktheheadofyourscrewdriver,itmatchestheshape.See?”

Shemadeagreatshowoflookingatboththescrewandthescrewdriver.

“Ifyouputitin,itshouldfit.”Ipinchedthesharpendofthescrewandhelditoutto

her.“Tryit.”

Shedidjustthat,pokingit.ExceptI’dgivenheronethatwasasizetoobig.

“Oh,holdon.That’stoobig.Theycomeindifferentsizes,see?”Ipointedatthe

screwdriver.“Youneedasmallerone.”

“CanIgetit?”sheasked.

“Sure.Seeifyoucanfindthenextsizedown.”

“Okay.”Sherifledthroughthem,checkingeachoneuntilshecametoaflathead

screwdriver.“It’sdifferent.”Shehelditup.

“Yep,therearetwotypes.Idon’tthinkIhaveanyscrewsthatitwouldfit,butnot

allscrewshavethecross.Somehaveoneline,andthat’swhatyou’duseaflathead—that’s
whatit’scalled—screwdriverfor.But,ifyouhaveacrossscrewanddon’thavetheright
crossheadscrewdriver,youcanuseaflatone.”

“Weawy?”

“Yep.Pokethescrewwithasmaller,flatone.”

Shegotoneofthesmallonesoutanddidit.Moredelightcrossedherface.“Okay.I

needacwossone,doe,wight?”

Ismiled.“Yes,youneedacrossone.Didyoufindityet?”

Shenodded.“Yousittin’onit.”

Ipluckedthescrewdriverfromnexttomythighwithagrin.“Hereyougo.”Iput

thescrewinthepre-drilledholeandtwisteditafewtimes.“Okay,comehere.”Ipatted
mythighs,andshecametositonme.“Now,verycarefully,putthescrewdriverinthe
screwandtwistitclockwise,okay?”

“Whycockwise?”

Ibitbackalaugh.“Clockwiseistotheright.That’showyoutightenscrews.

There’sevenarhymemydaddytaughtmewhenIwaslittle.”

“Whatisit?”

“Rightytighty,leftyloosey.”

“Wightytighty,weftywoosey.”

Ithadacertaincharmcomingfromher.

“That’sit.Turnrighttotighten,andlefttoloosen.”

“Okay.CanIdoitnow?”

“Sure.Doitastightasyoucan.”

Sheleanedforwardand,ohsocarefully,insertedtheheadofthescrewdriverinto

thescrew.Sheturnedthescrewdriver,stickinghertongueoutofthesideofhermouth.I
leanedaroundtoseeherface—sheworethemaskofcompleteconcentration.

Tongueout,eyesnarrowed,browsdrawntogether.

Itwasthemostadorablething.

“Dere,”shesaid,sittingback.“Ididit.”

“Amazingjob!”Isqueezedherlightly.“CanIpleasehavethescrewdrivertocheck

howtightitis?”

Shenoddedandhandeditovertome.

Ichecked.She’dbarelyturneditatall,butshewashavingfun,soitwaswhatit

was.Itightenedthescrewtherestofthewayandgrabbedthenextone.AtleastIwas
almostdone.

“Idoagain?”Ellieaskedhopefully.

“Sure.”

Sheworethesameexpressionassheturnedit.Thestickingouttonguewasmy

favoritepartofallofit.

“Ellie,you’requiet.Whatareyou—”Brantleystoppedinthedoorway,phonetohis

ear.“Oh.You’rehere.”

Ellieturnedtolookathim.“Ewifellasweep.KawisaidIcouldhelp.”

Helookedatmeforconfirmation.

Imotionedtothefactshewassittingonmylap.

Hislipstuggedup.“She’snotbotheringyou,isshe?”

“No,she’shelping.Look.She’sdoingthescrews.”Ipointedtowhereshewas

givingitagoodtryattighteningit.“It’salmostdone.She’senjoyingherself.”

“Okay.Ifyou’resure?”

“She’sfine.Ifshestopsbeinggood,I’llpickherupandhanddeliverhertoyouin

youroffice,okay?”

Helaughed,holdingupahand.“Okay,okay,fine.Ijustthought…Crap.Hello?”He

duckedaway.“Yes,I’mstillhere.”

Hisvoicetrailedoffashewentdownstairs.

Elliemadeaclickingnoisewithhertongue.“Daddysaidabadword.”

Ah.Crap.

“Hedid.NaughtyDaddy.CanItrythatscrewnow?”

Shenoddedandletmetightenit.Werepeatedthisoverandoveruntilallthescrews

wereinplaceandtight.SheevenheldthelidinplaceformewhileIattachedthehinges.

Whenitwasallsaidanddone,Elliegentlycloseddownthelidandwalkedaround

thebox.Then,shestoppedinfrontofit,andwithahuge,proudgrinonherface,shemet
myeyes.

“It’sperfeck,huh?”

“Itsureis,”Iagreed.“Youdidagreatjobhelpingme.Thankyou.”

Evenifithadtakenanextrahalfanhour.

Shebeamed.I’dneverseenhersodelightedaboutanythingbefore.“CanIhelpyou

tomorrow,too?”

“YoucanhelpmedoyourbookshelfwhenyougetbackfromSummer’s.Doesthat

soundgood?”

Shenodded.“I’mhungry.DoyoufinkDaddycookedmefoodyet?”

“Idon’tknow,butwecanfindout.”Iglancedatthetime.Itwasalmostsixp.m.No

wondershewashungry.

Ellierandownstairsandintothekitchen.Itookthetimetopackupmytoolsbefore

followingher,butIlefttheboxinherroom.

IwentdownandfoundEliawake,sittingonthesofa,andElliepoutinginfrontof

him.

Elilookedatme.“Daddy’sonthephone.Hekeepsshouting.”

IfrownedandwalkedtowardBrantley’soffice.Hesoundedsuperfrustrated,even

thoughhewasn’tshouting,buttherewassomethingaboutthe“damnintern”mentioneda
fewtimes.

Irejoinedthetwinsinthelivingroom.“Daddy’sworking,isn’the?”

Theybothnodded.

“Heprobablydoesn’tknowwhatthetimeis.”Ipaused.“Whydon’twegointhe

kitchenandIcangetyousomedinner?”

Morenodding.Theyranintothekitchen,andwhenIsteppedintotheroom,Eliwas

alreadytryingtogiveElliealeg-upontothecounter.

“Oookay!”Isaid,wavingmyhands.“Let’snotdothat.I’lllookinsteadofyoutwo

tryingtobreakabone.”

“Oh,”Elliesaidsadly.But,theybothmoved,climbingupontothetableviathe

chairsinstead.

Istaredatthem.

Eh.I’dwononebattle.Whystartanother?

Ileftthemthereandopenedthecupboard.IhadnoideawhatIwaslookingfor.

Pasta?Spaghetti?Whatdidyoufeedthetinyhumans?

Thesoulsoftheelderlyorsomething?

Myeyesfellontwocansoftomatosoup.

Ah-ha.

“Howabouttomatosoupandgrilledcheese?”Iasked.

“Yes!”theyshouted,clapping.

“Okay.”Good.Icoulddothat.“Sitonthechairs,grabajuice,andletmegetto

work.”

Miraculously,theydidastheyweretold.

Well.I’llbedamned.

ChapterTwenty-Five

“Again?”Iquestioned.

Theybothnodded.“Pwease?”

Thatsimultaneousspeakwasstartingtogetabitlessweird.Maybe.

“Onemoretime,thenyouhavetogotobed.”

Theybothlookedatmewithwideeyesandnoddedagain.

“Okay,fine.Youtwistedmyarm.”I’djustopenedthefrontcoverofthebookto

readitforathirdtimewhenBrantley’sshoutof“Shit!Eli?Ellie?”sounded.

“Inhere,”theychorused.

Ishuddered.

Maybeitwasn’tgettinglessweird.

Herushedintothefrontroom,stoppingdeadwhenhesawus.Hishairwasamess,

andhehadthelookofsomeonewhowasbothfrustratedandconfused.

“Hi,”Isaidbrightly.“Welcomeback.”

Heblinkedatme.“I’msoconfused.”Hescrubbedhishandthroughhishair.“I

don’tevenknowwhattimeitis.There’snowayI’vebeenonthephonethatlong.”

Thetwins,blessthem,noddedsagely.“Hours,Daddy,”Elisaiddramatically.

“Weomoststarved!”Ellieadded.

“Oh,stopit.No,youdidn’t.Wefoundfoodjustintime,didn’twe?”Isaidtothem.

“Idon’tknow,”Elicontinued.“Itwascwose.”

“Close!Close?Oh,yes.Lookatyou.You’reskinandbone.”Igentlyproddedhis

sideandhedissolvedintoafitofgiggles.

Brantleyblinkedatus.“Idon’tknowwhat’shappeninghere.”

Tobehonest,helookedexhausted.

“Well,”Isaid,closingthebookandputtingitonthecoffeetable.“MeandEllie

finallygotdonewiththecoffeetablearoundsix.Wecamedownandyouwereonthe
phone,soaftersomeattemptedCirqueDeSoleilmoves,werustledupthedelicacythatis
soupandgrilledcheese,dranksomemilkandfoundsomepajamas,andreadabouta
dinosaurwhopoopseverythingout.Twice.Wewereabouttoreaditathirdtimewhenyou
graceduswithyourpresence.”

“Wait.Whatisthetime?”

“Seven-thirty.”

“Jesus.”Herubbedhishandoverhisface.“I’msosorry.Ididn’tevenrealize.”

“It’sokay.We’reallgood,right?”Ilookedatbothtwins.“Wehadfun.”

Theybothnodded.“Bedtimenow?”Ellieasked.

“Yes.Forsure.Comeon.I’lltakeyouup.”Brantleyblewoutalongbreath.“Say

goodnighttoKali.”

“Goodnight,Kawi!”theysang,scramblingupoffthesofa.Then,theybothstopped,

turned,andjumpedonme.IshriekedasIcaughtthem,andtheybothplantedabigkisson
mycheeks.

“Fankyou,”Elisaid.

“Goodnight,”Ellieechoed.

Isqueezedthembothwithalaugh.“Night,guys.”

Theygrinnedandgotbackup,runningofftothestairsagain.Brantleystaredatme

foramomentandheldupafinger.

“Willyouwaitformetocomebackbeforeyouleave?”heaskedtentatively.

“Sure.”Ismiled.

Helookedasthoughhewantedtosaysomethingelse,butchangedhismind.He

followedafterthetwins,andIlookedattheirpilesofdirtyclothesonthefloor.

Brantleylookedshattered,asifhecouldfallasleepstandingup.

Igotupandgrabbedthem,thenranthemthroughthebacktotheutilityareajustoff

thekitchen.Iputtheminthedirtylaundry,thenreturnedtothefrontroomandpickedup
thedinosaurswhohadbeenattendingBarbie’sweddingtoBatman.

Then,withmyhandaroundthetailofaT-rex,Ifroze.

Istareddownatthetoyinmyhand.

WhohadIbecome?

Notlongago,theideaofchildrenterrifiedme.Theyweretiny,loudhellionswho

shoutedandscreamed.Theyweregrossanddirtyandmessy.

Now,hereIwas.I’dtakenoverseamlessly,feedingthemandgettingthemreadyfor

bed,andnow,Iwaspickinguptoys.Puttingtheirdirtyclothinginthelaundrybasket.

Thescariestpart?

Itfeltcompletelynatural.

Sure,thetwinshadbeenscarilywell-behaved,butthatwasn’tthepoint.

Apartofme…ApartofmefeltlikeIbelongedhere.

ItookadeepbreathanddroppedMr.T-rexintothetoybox.Heroaredashecollided

withadumptruck,butImuffledthatbyslappingthelidontopofthebox.

Mymouthwasdry.WhenhadIchangedfromakid-hatertoplaying…well,playing

mom?Whenhadithappened?Wasthereapoint,orhadsomethingchanged?

WasitacceptanceoffeelingsforBrantley?

Wasithisacknowledgmentoffeelingsforme?

OrhadIjustfallensoirrevocablyinlovewithtwo,three-feet-tallpre-schoolers?

Withtinyhandsandsassygrinsanddimpledcheeks?

Imean,Ihadn’teventhoughttwiceaboutgettingthemreadyforbedtonight.I’d

justdoneit,likeIknewwhatIwasdoing,whenIdidn’t.Notatall.Ididn’tknowwhere
theirpajamaswere.Ididn’tknowwheretoputthatstupidpoopingdinosaurbookaway.

Ididn’tknowanything.

ExceptforthefactIwasscrewed.Stuckbetweenarockandahardplace.Between

breakingheartsandhealingthem.

Maybeevenbreakingmyown.

Shit.

Iranmyfingersthroughmyhair.Thebandfromthismorning’sbraidwasaround

mywrist,andIpulledmyhairintoarough,loosetwistontopofmyhead.

Ineededadrink.MymouthwassodryIdoubtedIcouldspeak.

Iwalkedintothekitchenandgotsomewaterfromthefridge.Idrankanddrank,

stupidlyhopingitwouldcalmtherapidbeatsofmyheart.

Kids.

Iwasinlovewithtwokidswhohadstolenmyheart.

Andtheirdadwasdoingthesamething.

Andnow,afterthisevening,myquestionwasn’t“couldIdoit?”

Itwas,“AmIgoodenoughforthisfamily?”

Ididn’twanttoaskit.Ididn’twanttoknowtheanswer.

“Kal—oh,thereyouare.”

Iturnedatthesoundofhisvoice.

Regretsettledoverhisexpression,andhewipedhishandoverhisjaw.“I’mso

fuckingsorry,Kali.Whatwasmeanttobeasimplephonecallturnedintoanintern
fuckingupthreeaccounts,andmehavingtocalleverymanandhismothertogetitsorted
outagain.”

“It’sfine,”Isaid.AndImeantit.“Theyweren’taproblematall.Theywereperfect

forme.”

“That’snotthepoint.I’vealreadyaskedsomuchofyou—Jesus,Ididn’tevenknow

thetime.Ithoughtit’dbeenhalfanhour,notovertwo.”Heleanedagainstthecounterand
rubbedhisface.Hewasfrustratedwithhimself,anditwasplaintoseehewastryingto
keepittogether.

NothingIsaidtohimrightnowwouldchangethat.

So,Iactedinstead.

Iputthebottleonthetableandwalkedtohim.Hestillhadhisfaceburiedinhis

hands,soIgentlyreachedup,claspedhiswrists,andpulledhishandsaway.

Guiltyeyesfoundmine.

Ileanedinandkissedhim.

Agentletouch,meanttodonothingmorethantakesomeofthefrustrationaway

fromhim.

Hewrappedhisarmsaroundmywaist,pullingmeintohim,andsoftlykissedme

back.Ididn’tknowifIwasdoingtherightthing,especiallyafterourconversationearlier,
butitwasallIwantedtodo.

IwantedhimtoknowthatIdidn’tcare.

ThatIwasn’tangryorannoyed.ThatIdidn’tblamehim,becauseshithappened.

“Pointtaken,”hemutteredwhenIpulledbackslightly.Hedidn’treleaseme,

though.“Weretheyreallygood?”

Inodded.“IcamedownandEliwaswatchingTV.Apartfromhimtryingtogive

Elliealeg-upintothecupboardandthemwatchingmecookwhilesittingonthetable…”

“Allinall,itwasasuccess.”

“Nobodygothurt,soyes.”

Hehalf-smiled,anditactuallyreachedhiseyes.“Youknow,it’sfunny.For

someonewhoadmitsshedoesn’twantkids,you’reamazingwiththem.”

Ilookedintohiseyes.“Yourkidsmakeiteasytobe.”

“Clearly,you’reforgettingthattimewhenyoubathedthem.”

“No.Ijustlearnedthelessonnottobaththem.”

Helaughed,andIcouldseethetensionleavehisbody.“Luckyyou.IwishIhad

thatoption.”

Igrinned.“Youneedtohavesomethingtoeat.”

“Areyoubossingmearoundnow?”

Nodding,Iflattenedmyhandsagainsthischest.“Yes.Youneedtoeatsomething.”

“Can’tIjusthaveyouinstead?”Heslidhishandsdowntocupmyass.

“Foodandsleepwouldbemoresensible,”Istarted,mybreathhitching.

“I’msensibleallday.Youmakemewanttobestupid.”

“Areyoutryingtosaythatbeingwithmeisstupid?”

Brantleypaused.“See,IfeellikenomatterwhatIsayherewillbewrong.Thisisa

trap,isn’tit?”

Iraisedmyeyebrows.“Idon’tknow.Doyouthinkit’satrap?”

“That’sdefinitelyatrap.”

Ididmybestnottolaugh,butI’dneverhadapokerface,sothatattemptlastedall

offivesecondsbeforeitcollapsedandIburstoutlaughing.

“Iknewit,”hemuttered.“I’mnothungry.”

“Lies.Youhavetobehungry.”

Heshookhishead.Then,withstrengththatshouldn’thavesurprisedme,hegripped

mywaistandpushedmebacktowardthetable.

“Whatareyoudoing?”

“Ssssh,”hewhispered,pushingmeuntilmybuttbumpedtheedge.Hepickedme

up,sittingmeontheedge,andsteppedbetweenmylegs.“Shutupandletmekissyou.”

“Ican’t.”

“Whynot?”

“IthinkIjustsquashedabitofgrilledcheesewithmyhand.”

Hepulledbackslightly.“That’saturn-onifeverIheardone.”

“Squishedgrilledcheese,”Isaid,pickingupmyhandandconfirmingmythoughts.

“Helpinglibidoseverywhere.”

Heremovedtheoffending,half-eatensandwich,anddidaquicksweepofthetable

tomakesurenothingelsewouldgetinthewayofwhatwasclearlyabouttobecomea
make-outsession.

Iwasokaywiththis.Especiallywhenhegotaclothwetandwipedoffmyhand.

“There.Now,willyoushutupandletmekissyou?”

“Areyougoingtodoitanyway?”

“Yes.AndIhavehalfamindtoendwithgivingyouanorgasmbecauseyoudeserve

it.”

Ieyedhim.“We’llsee.”

Hegrinned,thenswooped.Lipsonmine,hotashell,andalltooaddictive.His

handsmassagedupmylegs,overmyhips.Heflattenedoneonthetableandpressedthe
otheragainstmybacktostopmefallingbackward.

Histongueflickedagainstmylips.

Ibithislowerone.

Hechuckled,makingmegrin.Hishandcreptupmyback,andourbodieswere

pressedclosetogetherwhenhekissedmeagain.Histonguebattledmine,andIfeltthis
kissallover.Mynippleshardenedandmyclitached,andIknewwithoutadoubtthatI
neededhiminsidemeagaintonight.

Ineededmore.

IneededtomakesurethewayIfeltwasright—thatIhadn’tbeencloudedbysex.

Notthathavingmoresexwasthebestideatofixit,butstill.

Then,Ifrozeataknock.

Westoppedkissing,andatthesametime,turnedourheadssowewerefacingthe

doorway.

There,wefoundtwopairsofeyes,fixedfirmlyonus.

AndIhadneverseensuchalookofdisgustontinypeopleinallmylife.

“Ew,”Elimoaned.“That’syucky.”

Brantleyreleasedmeandclearedhisthroat.“Whyareyououtofbed?”

“There’saspiderinmywoom,”Ellieannounced.

“Andafwyinmine,”Elisaid.“Canweswapthebugs?”

“No.Wecannotswapthebugs.”

“CanIsweepinEwwie’swoom,then?”

“Sure,butIbetElliewantsthespidergone.”

Sheshookherheademphatically.“No.He’scalledBob.”

AspidernamedBob.

Howoriginal.

“Right,”Brantleysaidslowly.“Eli,grabyourstuffandgetintheoppositeendof

herbed,okay?Feettofeetlikeyouusedtodo.”

Henodded,andtheybothranbackupthestairslikeaherdofbabyelephants.

Brantleytookadeepbreathandlookedatme.“It’sliketheydon’twantmetoget

laid.”

Ilaughedandjumpedoffthetable.“Sodramatic.Youjustwentintooearly.Rookie

mistake.Andnowyouhavetoanswerallthekissingquestions.”

Hegroaned.“ThegoodnewsisthatIfinallyhavemybedroomtomyself.”

Helookedatmepointedly.

“Ohgod,no.That’sabadideaandyouknowit!”

“Stay.”Hepulledmeintohim.“Please.Staywithmetonight.”

Iwavered.Ononehand,itwasaterribleidea.Ontheotherhand…

“Kali,please,”hesaidinalow,huskyvoice,slidinghishandsdownmyback.

“Fine,”Iwhispered.“Butyou’recookingmebreakfast.”

Hekissedme,smiling.“Done.”

***

Wakinguptothefeelingofahard,hotbodybehindmineandaheavyarmovermy

waistwasanewone.It’dbeentwoorthreeyearssinceI’dbeeninarelationshipandspent
thenightwithanyone.

Iwasn’tsurewhatthiswaswithBrantley,butasIslowlyopenedmyeyesand

wriggled,Ilikedit.

“Stopwriggling,”hemurmured,slippinghisarmbeneaththecoversandhookingit

aroundmywaist.Hepulledmerightbackintohim,tuckingmybuttagainsthisgroinand
tanglingourlegs.

“Iwannaseewhattimeitis,”Iwhispered,leaningoverandblindlypattingmyhand

aroundthenightstandformyphone.Myfingersconnectedwithit.Ialmostknockeditoff,
butsomehowmanagedtosaveitbeforeitfellontothefloor.

Ihitthepowerbuttononthesideandwincedasthebrightnessblindedme.Quickly

unlockingitandchangingit,Iwasabletocheckthetime.

Six-thirty.

“Aw,shit,”Isaid.

“What?”

“Ihavetwelvemissedcallsfrommymom.”Idroppedmyheadbackdownontothe

pillow.“Andatextmessagedemandingtoknowwhymycarwasstillparkedoutside
yoursatelevenlastnight.”

Brantleyburiedhisfaceinthepillowandlaughed.

“Don’tlaugh.She’sinsistingonbreakfast.Sincethissleepoverwasyouridea,why

don’tyoucomeandexplainittoher?”

Heproppedhisheadup,hiselbowdiggingintothepillow,andlookeddownatme.

“WhatexactlyamIsupposedtosaytoher?“Sorry,Mrs.Hancock.Ikeptyourdaughterat
myhouseallnightsoIcouldfuckhersenseless?””

Ifrowned.“Alittlelessgraphicmightbethewaytogo.”

“Justbehonestandtellheryouspentthenight.Who’sshegonnatell?”

Hehadapoint.Whilemymomwasatthecenterofeverygossipcircleintown,she

onlyeverreceivedgossipaboutme.Shenevergaveitout.

“Mmph,”Ihmped.“Ineedtospeaktoheranyway.Mayaswellkilltwobirdswith

onestone.”

Henodded.“Now,putdownyourphoneandcomebacktosleepforanhour.”

“Hangon.”IquicklyrepliedtoMom’stextconfirmingI’dbehomeateightfor

breakfastandthenputmyphonedown.

“Thankyou,”hesaidwhenIsettledbackunderthecovers.

“You’regrumpyinthemorning.”

“Youwokemeup.Ihadaplantowakeupbeforeyouandseduceyou,butnowI’m

awakewithanuncomfortableerection.”

Ishiftedandrolledovertofacehim.“That’snotmyfault.”

“Yourbareasshasbeenagainstitallnight.It’sonehundredpercentyourfault.”

“You’retheonewhomademespendthenight.”

“Ididn’tmakeyoudoanything.”

“True,butyougavemeaverycompellingargument.”

Hehookedonearmundermyneckandhuggedmeintohim.“Mhmm.It’seight

incheslongandlikesyouverymuch.”

“Ican’tsaythefeelingisn’tmutual.”

Hechuckledandsqueezedme.“Stopit,orImightstarttothinkyoudon’twantto

gobacktosleep.”

Ileanedupandblinked.“MaybeIdon’t.”

“Mm?”

“What’sthepointofgoingbacktosleepforanhour?”

“You’reright.”Heeffortlesslyflippedmeontomybackandpositionedhimself

betweenmylegs.“Icanmakeyoucomeatleastthreetimesinthathour.”

“Ambitious,”Isaid,runningmyhandsupanddownhisarms.“Youthink?”

“Iknow.”Hedroppeddownandkissedme.Hiscockbrushedagainstmyclit,andI

wrappedmyarmsaroundhisneck,givinghimthechancetodeepenthekiss.

Hedid.

Desirebuiltaswekissed.We’dbothonlyhadafewhourssleep,sotherewasno

reasonformetobesoawake,muchlessthis…needy.

AllIknewwasthatIstillwantedmoreofBrantley.

Stillbothnakedfromthenightbefore,hemadeeasyworkofturningmeon,

travelingdownmybodyinasuccessionoftouchesandkisses,frommynecktomy
nipplesanddownmystomach.Hesliddownthebed,takingthecoverswithhim,and
partedmylegswithagentlegrip.

Heglancedupatmesecondsbeforeheflickedhistongueovermyclit.

Myhipstwitched.Itwascrazy,howsuchagentletouchcouldevokesucha

reaction.

Ithrewmyarmovermyeyesasheexploredmewithhistongue.Hewasamasterat

it—thewayhetookhistimeyetbroughtmeclosetothebrinksoquicklywasamiracle.
Hedangledpleasureinfrontofmeonlytotakeitawayagain,andIbothlovedandhated
that.

Because,whenIfinallycame,itwasthebestfuckingorgasm.Andheknewit,

becauseheslidbackupmybodywithasmugsmile.

Iblushedasoureyesmet.

“One,”hemurmured,holdingmygazebeforegoingbackdown.

Igaspedwhenheclosedhismoutharoundmyclitandsucked,flexinghistongue

againstit.Itwassotender,andIgrippedthesheetsasheatwashedthroughmeonceagain.

JesusChrist—he’dbeendowntheretensecondsandalready,Iwasontheedge.

Asecondoneslammedintome.He’dbarelydoneanything,andIwasbitingmylip

tokeepfrommoaningtooloudly.HekepthistonguethereuntilIstilled,whenheonce
againleanedoverme,thistime,withhiscockalreadypositionedatmypussy.

Heslidineasily,whispering,“Two.”

Notetoself:hetookachallengeseriously.

Long,slowthrustsintomecoveredbothourbodiesinathinsheenofsweat.

Thistimewasdifferent.

Notlikethefirsttimeagainstthewall—andnotlikelastnight,whereit’dbehard

andfueledbypurelust.Thistimewasgentle,almostsweet,andalthoughapartofme
wanteditquickerandharder,Iknewitwasn’tright.

Iknewthiswas.

Thisslow,easysexwasn’tarawfuck.Itwasrawemotion,andIfeltitintheway

thathekissedmeashemoved.Inthewayhisfingertipsmovedacrossmyskinalmost
reverently.

InthewaymyheartskippedabeatwhenoureyesmetandIgasped.

Inhiseyes,Isawsomething.

Itwasamereflash,ashadowpassingoverhisgaze,butbeforeIcouldgraspholdof

it,hekissedmeagain.Deeper,andhefuckedmealittleharder,too.Notmuchharder,but
enoughthatwitharaiseofmylegs,buryinghimselffurtherinsidemewitheachthrust.

Andprettysoon…

Iforgotallaboutit.

***

“Shit,”wasallIcouldsayasIpulledupinmydriveway.

Iwasanhourlate,andmymom’scarwassittingthere.Mycurtaintwitchedinthe

frontroom,soshe’dobviouslybroughthersparekeyandletherselfin.

Iwasreallyhopingtohavebeenabletogetinandshowerandnothavethis

conversationwhilewearingBrantley’st-shirt.

Damnit.

That’swhathappenswhenIhavethegreatideatohavesexandfallasleepright

after.

Ofallthetimesthetwinscouldinterruptus,wakingusupwouldhavebeenagreat

one.

Wewon’tevendiscussthefactIranoutwhileBrantleywasstrugglingtoexplainin

kid-speakwhyIwasinhisbedthismorning.

Ononehand,Iwantedtothankmymom.Ontheother…No.Notatall.

Igotoutofmytruckandwalkedtowardthefrontdoor.Hell,Iwastwenty-six,andI

feltlikeIwasabouttogetaninterrogationaboutwhereI’dbeenallnight.LikeIwas
eighteenandpastcurfeworsomething.

Iactuallyfeltalittleshame.

Deargod.

Ishutthedoorbehindme.Momwassittingonmysofa,legscrossed,andherhands

restingonherknee.

“Well,goodmorning,”shesaidwithoutturningaround.

WhichwaswhenIlookedinthemirrorandmadeeyecontact.

“I’mjustgoingto—”Ipointedtowardthestairs.“Yeah.”

“Kali!Getbackhere!”

Itookthestairstwoatatimeandslammedmyselfintothebathroombeforeshe

couldfollowme.Luckilyforme,thereweretwotowelsontherail.

Itookmytimeshoweringandcleaningup.BythetimeIfinallysteppedoutfrom

underthewater,IwassureI’dneverbeensocleaninmylife.Icouldpracticallyhear
myselfsqueakingwithcleanlinessasImadethedashintomyroomtogetdressed.

I’djustpickedupmyblowdryerwhensheknockedatmydoor.“Kali.Areyou

dressed?”

Istartedthehairdryer.

Itdidn’tdeterher.Clearly,she’dhadenoughofmyshit,andshewascomingin

whetherIwasdressedornot.

WhichwaswhyI’dhadalockonmydoorasateenager.I’dneverimagined

needingoneinmyownhome,though.

“Goodmorning,”Isaidbrightly.“Sorry,Iwaslate.Isleptin.”

Shetookthehairdryeroutofmyhands,turneditoff,andputitontopofmy

dresser.“Andjustwhywereyousleepingin,younglady?Andwhereexactlywasthat?”

Iwantedtotellherthereweresomethingsparentsdidn’tneedtoknowabouttheir

kids,butinsteadImumbledsomethingincoherentandtookastepback.

Shepointedtomybedinawordlessorder.

Isatdown.Likeadisgracedtoddler.

“ExplaintomewhyyourcarwasparkedatBrantleyCooper’shouseatelevenp.m.

lastnightandwasapparentlystilltherethismorning.Andwhyyoucameinwearing
somethingthatlookedsuspiciouslylikeamen’st-shirt.”

Ipaused.“Doyou,er…Doyoureallywantmetogointoit?”

Shewavedherhandsandsatnexttome.“Well,Iguessyoubrokethe‘nocavorting

withclients’rule.”

See?Thatwasarealline,nomatterhowmuchhelaughedatme.

“Coupletimes,”Ianswered.“Oops?”

Momlaughed.“Iknewexactlywhatyouweredoingthere.Sodidyourfather.”

“Oops.”Thattime,Imeantit.

“Oh,itwasobvious.EverytimeImentionedhimyougotalldreamy-eyed.Likethat

timeyouwereconvincedyouweregoingtomarryJustinTimberlakewhenItookyouto
seehiminconcert.”

“Thatmightstillhappen.”

Sherolledhereyes.“Talktome,honey.Icanseeyouhavesomethingonyour

mind.”

“Canwegetcoffeefirst?”

“Sure.I’llmakeussome.Comedownwithme.”

Isnaggedahairtiefromthepotonmydresser,alongwithmybrush,andfollowed

herdown.Itookaseatatthekitchentableanddidmyhairwhileshemadecoffee.

Afewminuteslater,shesettwomugsonthetableandsatdown.Shedidn’tsaya

wordasItoyedwithmybraid.Shesimplysat,drankhercoffee,andwaited.

“Iknowwealreadyhadthischat.Kinda,”Istarted.“But,howdidyouknow?That

youcouldtakeonsomeoneelse’schild?”

Sheraisedhereyebrows.Thesurpriseregisteredonherfaceforasecondbeforeshe

realizedandsmoothedoutherfeatures.“Ijustknew.Ididn’twakeuponemorningwith
anepiphanythatIwasMotherTeresaorsomething.”

“Damn.Ithinkthatwouldhavebeeneasier.”

Shenoddedonce.“Verymuchso.Thisquestiontellsmethatthewayyoufeelabout

acertainfamilyhaschangedanawfullot.”

Isippedmycoffeebeforesettingitdownandwrappingmyhandsaroundthemug.I

wasn’tcold,butgoosebumpsprickledovermyskin.“Idon’tknowhowithappened,”I
admitted.Iexplainedtoherwhathadhappenedlastnight,andhoweasilyI’dsettledintoa
rolethatlookedafterthembothwithoutblinking.

“Youlovethem.Thetwins.”Itwasastatement.

Inodded,lookingintomymug.“They’reeasytolove.Hardwork,buteasytolove.

But,whendoesthatstopbecominganovelty?IdiditbecauseIcould.NotbecauseIhad

to.”

“Idisagree,”shesaidsoftly.“YouknewBrantleywasworking.Youknewitwas

obviouslysomethingimportant—somethingthatcouldn’tbeinterrupted.Someonehadto
lookafterthetwins,andyoudidit.”

“But,theresponsibility.Whenitbecomesaresponsibilityandnotjustaone-time

thing,thenwhat?”

Momstudiedmeforamoment.“You’reafraid.”

“I’mnot…afraid,”Isaiduncertainly.“I’m…Idon’tknow.Thiswasn’tmyplan.I

didn’twantkids.Ididn’twanttowalkintothathouseandfallinlovewitheveryoneinit.”
Iburiedmyfaceinmyhands,takingadeepbreath.

There.

I’dsaidit.

Jumpedoverthecliff.

Momgavemeamomentbeforeshegentlyreachedoverandpulledmyhandsfrom

myface.Shelaymyhandsonthetableandsqueezedmyfingers,thensaidinalow,quiet
voice,“Youdon’tgettoplanwhoyoufallinlovewith.I’msorry,honey,butyoudon’t.
Youdon’tgettoplanwho,how,orwhenithappens.Youjusthavetogowithitwhenit
does.Ifyougottoplanit,Ineverwouldhavefalleninlovewithyourfather.”

“Youwouldn’t?”Isaidsoftly.

“Nope.I’djustgotdivorced.Itwasmyfault.Iwastheonewhocouldn’thavekids.

Myex-husbandcouldn’tdealwithit.Andletmetellyou,honey,Iwasfurious.”She
squeezedmyhandsagainasiftomakemeunderstand.“Ididn’twanttobearoundkids.I
especiallydidn’twanttobeastep-parent.IfIcouldn’thavemyownchildren,Ididn’t
wantanyoneelse’s,either.”

“Ineverknewyoufeltlikethat.”

“Iwasgrieving.Unlikeyou,afamilyisallI’deverwanted.Ihadthechoicetaken

awayfromme.UntilImetyourfather.”

“Howdidyougofromthat?Tobeingsoangrytobeingwhoyouarerightnow?”

“Ifellinlovewithyourdad,”sheadmitted.“Itsoundsfickle,butthat’sallittook.It

wasn’tlikeyouwereasecret—Iknewhehadyou,andalthoughIwasn’tinterestedat
first,thewayIfeltabouthimoutweighedallmyangereventually.We’ddatedformonths
beforeheintroducedus,doyouremember?”

Inodded.“Iwaspissedbecausehewouldn’ttellmeanythingaboutyou.”

“Andyoumadeitknown.”Momlaughed.“Untilthatpoint,Iwasstillindenial

abouthavingkids.Iwasstillangry.Then,Iwalkedintoyourhouse,andyoulookedup
fromyourhomework,staredatme,thentoyourdad,andsaid,“I’mbusy.I’veaskedfor
weeks,so,nowyouhavetowaitforme.””

Ibittheinsideofmycheek,smiling.

Iwaskindofanassholeteen.

“Ifellinlovewithyouthereandthen.”Shelaughedagain.“And,Kali?ThedayI

fellinlovewithyouwasthedayIacceptedIcouldn’thavechildren.Therewasnoneed
to,becausetherewasachildouttherewhoalreadyneededme,andthatchildwasyou.”

Thesmiledroppedfrommyface.

“And,ifI’dhadmyownchildren,Ineverwouldhavegottenthegreatestdaughter

ever:you.”

Alumpformedinmythroat.“Weren’tyouscared?Abouthowyourlifewould

change?”

“Ithoughtyouweren’tafraid.”Herlipstwitched.

“Hypothetically,”Isaid.

“Hypothetically,Iwasterrified.NotonlywasIenteringintoarelationship,Iwas

enteringintoarelationshipwithamanwhohadateenagegirl.Jeez.”Shewinked.“Iwas
afraidyouwouldn’tacceptme.That…Idon’tknow.Iwouldn’tbeabletobethekindof
personyouneededinyourlife.Ididn’tknowanythingaboutyouexceptwhatyourdad
hadtoldme.IttookalongtimebeforeIunderstoodwhatyouneededmetobetoyou.”

Ipulledmyhandsfromhersandtookadeepbreath.“Whatif…WhatifI’mnot

goodenoughforthem,Mom?WhatifIfuckupbecauseI’mnotthepersontheyneedme
tobe?”

“Goodenough?Whatisgoodenough?Howdoyoumeasurehowworthyyouareto

someoneelse?”Sheraisedaneyebrow.“DoyouknowhowmanytimesyourfatherandI
feltlikewefailedyou,yetyouturnedaroundandmadeitclearwehadn’t?That’spartof
beingaparent.Therewillalwaysbetimesyoufeellikeyou’renotgoodenough,butas
longasyougiveityoureverything,thenyoucan’teverbeanybetterthanthat.”

“It’sjustso…different.They’retiny.TheyneedsomuchmorethanIdidwhenwe

met.”

“Itsoundstomelikeyou’retalkingthroughyourexcuses.”

Itookadeepbreathandletitoutonashudder.“MaybeIam.MaybeIneedtotalk

myselfintoit.Idon’tknow.Ijust…you’reright.I’mterrified,Mom.Ofsomanythings.”

Shestaredatme,hereyespiercingintome,seeingrightthroughme.“You’re

terrifiedofnevermeasuringuptotheirmominhiseyes,aren’tyou?”

Dingdingding,wehaveawinner.

Inodded.“Helovedher,youknow?Reallylovedher.Howdoyoucopewiththat?

Knowingthattheylostsomeonetheylovedenoughtohaveachildwith?”

Shefoldedherhandsontopofeachotherandlookedmedeadintheeye.“Icope

knowingthatevenafterthat,eventhoughheseeshereverysingletimehelooksatyou,he
trustedmeenoughtoopenhishearttome.Yourdadstilllovesyourmom,Kali.
Understandthat.He’lleverstoplovingher,andthat’sokaywithme.It’sadifferentkind
oflove.”Shepaused.“Andthepartyou’reforgettingisthatbothofyouarestillyoung

enoughthatyouhaveyourlivesaheadofyou.Justbecausehelovedheracertainway,
doesn’tmeanhecan’tloveyoujustasmuchinadifferentone.Remember,he’stheone
whowashurt.”

“WhatdoIdo?”

“Youneedtothinkaboutwhatyoureallywant.He’stheoneputtingthreeheartson

theline,andhe’strustingyounottobreakthem.”

“Nopressure,then.”

“Listentoyourheart,Kali.Ipromiseitwon’tsteeryouwrong.”

ChapterTwenty-Six

Twodayslater,Dadhadinstalledthekids’beds,andtheirroomsweredone.

Ididn’tknowhowIfeltaboutit.

Ononehand,itwasamazingtoseetheroomscompleted.Allthatneededtobe

donewasbedding,curtains,andunpacking.Asfarasmyworkwasconcerned,though,I
wasdone.

Ontheotherand,therewasnothingleftformetodobutstareatthecompleted

roomswithmyheartinmythroat.

WouldIeverseethesebedroomsagain?

Ihadachoicetomake,andoneIknewIhadtomakesoon.Mymomhadbeen

right.Thiswasn’tanormalrelationship—thereweretwo,littleheartsonthelinehereas
well,andaslongasIkeptmyselfinastateofindecision,Iwasbeingselfish.

DidItaketherisk,ordidItaketheeasyoptionandwalkaway?

IfItooktherisk,everythingwouldchange.And,intheweirdestkindofway,Iwas

readyforit.Thethoughtofnotbeingaroundthetwinsandlaughingatthem…Well,that
sucked.

ThethoughtofnotbeingaroundBrantley?

Ididn’twanttothinkaboutthat.

IleanedagainstthewindowsillinEllie’sroom.I’djustmadethechoice,hadn’tI?

Walkingawaywasn’ttheeasyoptionatall.IfIdid,I’dleaveapieceofmyhearthere.

I’dleaveapieceinthepaintonthewallsandthenailsinthefloor.Inthedrawersin

thedresserandtheshelvesthatheldtheirpiggybanks.

Istaredaroundtheroom.Aboxsatattheendofherbed,andafrilly,tulleskirt

pokedoutofthetop.WhileBrantleyhadgottenmostofdownstairsunpacked—finally—
thekids’bedroomshad,understandably,beenleftbehind.

PinkhangershungfromtherailDadhadbuiltintothebed.Itwastheentirewidth

ofthebed,andslowly,Icrawledunderthemid-sleeperbedanddraggedtheboxwithme.

Onebyone,Ipulledouteachcostumeandhungitup.Cinderella.Belle.Tinkerbell.

Moana.Everycostumeyoucouldimagineafour-year-oldhaving,shehadit.

Ipaused,fingeringthesatin-tulleskirtofRapunzel’scostume.Dadhadlistenedto

me—he’dputhooksonthebedunderEli’s.

Forhissuperherocostumes.

IlinedEllie’sdressupshoesontheshelfbeneaththerackandusedasmalltubto

puttiarasandglovesin.Leavingtheboxinthemiddleoftheroom,IdartedintoEli’s.
Therewereboxesinthecornerofhis,anddamnit.

Excited,IrifledthrougheachoneuntilIfoundhisspecialbrandofdress-up.

Capes.

So.Many.Capes.

AgleefulsmilespreadovermyfaceasIpulledaBatmanoneout.Twocapeshung

fromeachhook,andIgrabbedasmalltubtoputhismasksin.Therewereacouplehats
thatsatcarefullyinthere,too.

Islidoutfromunderthebed,pressingmyhandsagainstmystomach.

Myheartskipped.

Seeinghiscapeshangingup.KnowingEllie’sdresseswereintheotherroom.Shoes

andmasksandglovesandtiaras.

Imaginingthesmilesontheirfaceswhentheysawit.

Ibitmylip.

Hard.

Something—somethinginsidemeflaredtolife,andtheseincompleteroomsweren’t

enough.Theseroomsneededcurtainsandbeddingandrugs.

Brantleywasatwork.

Thetwinswereatdaycare.

Ishouldhavebeenathome.

Instead…

Instead,Itoreopenboxes.Irifledthroughtheclosetinthehall.Ilaidrugsandhung

curtains.Ipluggedinlampsandfittedlampshades.Ibendedthelegsofactionfiguresuntil
theyweresitting,andItapedaposterofprincessestoawall.

Ifittedsheets.Ishookoutpillowcases.Iturnedbeddinginsideoutbeforegivingthe

quiltsadamngoodshake.Ibuttonedthesheetsandlaidoutsofttoys.Wriggledrugsand
setthemintheperfectplace.

Linedbooksonshelves.

StackedDVDsnexttoTVs.

Slicedthetapeonemptyboxesandflattenedthem.

Removedthemfromthespotsthey’doccupiedfortoolong.

Moreimportantly,Iinjectedalittlepieceofmyloveforeachofthosekidsintotheir

rooms.

Ihuggedemptyboxestomychestand,standinginthehallway,Ilookedintoboth

rooms.

Perfection.

Nothingmore,nothingless.

Justperfection.

***

Istackedthelastofthecardboardnexttothetrashcaninthefrontyardandheaded

backinside.Theclocksaidtheywerearrivinganytimenow,soIshutthedoorandtookup
myperchonthefifthstep.

Theywouldn’tseemewhentheycamein,butI’dbeabletoexecutethefinalstage

ofmymasterplan.

Well,thenext-to-final.

ThefinalwastheadmissiontoBrantleythatIwasinlovewithhischildren.Inlove

withhim.Inlovewiththe*mall.

AndIwas.

NevermindKeepingUpWithTheKardashians.

IwasinlovewiththechaosoftheCoopers.

Hammered.

Nailed.

Screwed.

Drilled.

I’ddoneallthosethingssinceI’dwalkedthroughthatfrontdoor,butnone

comparedtothethingsthisfamilyhaddonetomesincethatday.

Brantleyhadallbutfuckedmeintolovinghim,andhiskidshaddonethesame

thingsoeffortlessly,albeititinsomanydifferentways.

Acarrumbledintothedriveway.

IcoveredmysmilewithmyhandasthesoundsofBrantleygettingthekidsoutthe

carcreepedthroughthedoor.

I’dparkedmytruckablockawayacouplehoursago,andinsteadofwearingwhatI

normallydid,ablue,floraldresshuggedmybodyuntilitflaredatmyhips,anditdidthat
rightnow.SpreadoverthestairIsatonasmyheartbeattenmillionmilesanhour.

IwantedtoseetheirfacesasIsawtheirbedrooms.

IwantedtoseeBrantley’sfaceashesawtheirrooms.

Thedooropened,andItuckedintomyself.

“Ihungry,”Elliesaid.

“Cake?”Eliaskedhopefully.

“Sure.”Thedoorshut,butitdidn’tmeasureuptothetoneofBrantley’svoice.He

wasdowncast,almostsad…

Istoodup,bitingmylip.“Hi,”Isaid.

Thetwinsgrinned.

Brantleystilled.

“Ihaveasurpriseforyou,”Isaidsoftly.“Youwannasee?”

Theynoddedtheirheads.

“Okay,comeupstairsandcoveryoureyes.”

Oncue,theybothfollowedmeupandcoveredtheireyeswiththeirhandswhen

theygottothetop.

“Youready?”Iasked.

Theynodded.

“One…”IpushedopenEllie’sdoor.“Two…”DidthesametoEli’s.“Three!Open

youreyes!”

Theyboththrewtheirhandsofftheireyeswithaflourish.Giventhattheywere

staringintoeachother’srooms,theydidn’tmoveamuscleuntilInudgedthemintheright
direction.

Then,Eligasped,andElliescreamed.

Brantleyshotupthestairslikeabullet.“Whatis…”Hisfeettoucheddownjust

inchesbehindme,andhestopped.Imovedbackagainstthewall.Thekidswerealreadyin
theirrooms.Theywaitedfornothingastheytorethroughtoyboxesandscrambledunder
theirbeds.

Adeepbreathfilledmylungs,andIwrappedmyarmsaroundmywaist.

“Whatdidyou…”hebreathed,lookingfirstinEli’sroom,thenintoEllie’s.“Kali.

Whatdidyoudo?”

“Madetheirbeds,hungtheircurtains…”ItrailedoffwhenEliemergedfromunder

hisbedwearingayellowmaskandalime-greencape.“Hunguptheircostumes.”

Rightoncue,Ellieappeared,dressedasCinderella.

Elipointedather.“Youdamselindistwess!Iwescueyou!”

Shefrowned,lookinghimupanddown.“No.Iwescueyou!”

Hepaused.“Okay,”hesaid,scamperingintohisroomandclimbingupontohisnew

bed.“Help!Help!”

Brantleyrubbedhishandacrosshisforehead.“Idon’tknowwhattosaytoyou.”

“Letmemakeyouacoffeeisagoodstart,”Iadmitted.“I’vebeenhereallday.”

Heeyedmeforamoment,lipstwitching,beforehemovedtogodownthestairs.

Webothhoveredforasecondtocheckonthetwins,butseeingthemreenactingsome
greatrescuefromthemightytopofBedMountainobviouslyreassuredusboth,because

secondslatermyfeettouchedthefloorandwewereinthekitchentogether.

Awkwardnesstingedtheair.

Ileanedagainstthetableandtookadeepbreath.Iwasexhausted.Nobodyhad

botheredtotellmehowexhaustingitwastohangcurtainsandmakebeds.

No—nobodyhadtoldmehowexhaustingthelittlethingswere.

“Didanyoneevertellyou,”Istarted,“Thatfindingtapeinyourhouseis

impossible?”

Spoonfullofsugarinhand,Brantleypaused.“Everyonewhoeverneededtapein

myhouse.”

“Okay,so,forfuturereference,it’sonareddispenseronyourdesk.”

“Fornow.Ellielikestohangherdrawingsonherwalls.”

“Elliecanlearntoputitbackwhereitbelongswhenshe’sdonewithit.”

Again,hepaused.Onlyforasecond,butlongenoughtobepoignant.“Ifeellike

there’sapartofthisconversationI’mnotprivyto.”

Therewas.

“Thereis,”Isaid.

“Mostlythepartaboutwhyyou’rehere.”

“Well,that’safunnystory.”

“Isn’titalwayswithyou?”

“Asarule,”Iagreed.“So,meandDadgotdonewiththebedsprettyquick,andI

hungaroundtomakesureeverythingwasdone.AndIjust…couldn’tleave.”

“Soundsmorevoodoothanfunnystorytome.”

“Shutupandletmetalk.”

“Yes,ma’am.”Heturnedandgavemeacoffeewithagrin,thenrestedbackagainst

thecounterwithhisarmsfoldedacrosshischest.“Pleasecontinue.”

Itookadeepdrinkofcoffee,setthemugdown,anddidjustthat.Well…“Now,you

interruptedme.WheredidIstoptalking?”

“Youjustcouldn’tleave,”heremindedme.

“Oh!Right.Thanks.”Thiswasn’tgoinghowI’dplannedit.

Storyofmyfuckinglife.

“So,yeah.Icouldn’tleave.Then,IfoundEllie’scostumebox,andonethingledto

another.”

“Onethingledtoyoucompletingtheirbedroomsalmosttoentirety,”hepointedout.

“Right.Another.”Ishruggedandusedmycoffeemugasashieldtohidemysmile.

“Semanticsandallthat.”

Brantleyeyedmeforamoment.“Why?”Thequestionwasshort.Sharp.Tothe

point.But,notcruel.Stillkind—butsocurious.“Whydidyoustay?”

“Itoldyou.Icouldn’tleave.”

“That’snotananswer.”

“ItisifIwantedittobe.”

“Kali—”

“Icouldn’tleavebecauseIdidn’twantto,”Iblurtedout.Iputthecoffeemugonthe

tablenexttomeandsteeledmyself.“Icouldn’tleaveifIdidn’tgettosaygoodbye,”I
addedsoftly.

Hetookadeepbreath.“Right.So,goodbye?”

Ishookmyhead,dippingmygazeawaybrieflybeforeswingingitbackuptomeet

his.“No,”Isaidquietly.“That’snotwhatImeant.I—Ithoughtaboutwhatyousaid.The
otherday,intheCoastal.AndwhatIdidn’tsayandwhatIshouldhavesaid—”

Heclosedthedistancebetweenus.Hishandscuppedmyface,andhekissedme

rightasIhesitated.“Ididn’ttellyouenough,”hesaidasIcurledmyfingersinhisshirt.“I
didn’ttellyouthatIdon’tjustlikeyou.Ididn’ttellyouthatI’mfallinginlovewithyou,
andIshouldhave.Ididn’ttellyou—”

Thistime,thecut-offkisswasmine.

Ishuthimup.

“Ididn’ttellyouthatI’mfallinginlovewithyou,”Iechoed.“ThatIloveyourkids.

Thatyourfamilyturnedmefromsomeonewhoneverwantedthemtosomeonewhocan’t
imagineherlifewithoutthem.”

Hetookadeepbreath.

Pulledback.

Lookedmeintheeyes.

“Idon’tknowwhatI’mdoing,”Iwhispered.“Iwillneverbegoodatwhatyoudo

asaparent.Idon’tknowifitwilleverbenaturalorright.But,Iwanttotry.Iwanttotry
tobeenoughforthem.Foryou.”

Hetouchedhisforeheadtomine,smilingashedidit.“Baby,youalreadyare.More

thanyouknow.”

Iletmyeyesfluttershutuntilhepulledback.“Isitokay?ThatIwon’tbeperfect?”

Hestaredatmeforamoment,thenusedthefingertipsthatbrushedmycheeksto

sweepmyhairbehindmyears.“Afewdaysago,youlookedafterthemwhenIdidn’t
evenknowwhattimeitis.Idon’texactlyhavethemarketonperfectcornered.”

Well…therewasthat.

“Anditdoesn’tmatter,”hecontinuedquietly.“You’llfuckup.Ifuckupallthetime.

It’spartofthisrollercoaster.”

“But,whatif—”

Hepressedhisfingeragainstmylipsandshookhishead.“Don’taskit,Kali.Don’t

youdarecompareyourself.”

Tearsstungthebackofmyeyes.“HowcanInot?”

“Listentome.”Hisvoicewassosoftandsoothing,andhiseyesweresobrightand

openandrawintheiremotion.“You’redifferentpeople.Katiewillalwaysbetheirmother,
butthatdoesn’tmeanyoucan’tbewhoyouwanttobetothem.Apartofmewillalways
loveher,butthatdoesn’tmeanthattherestofme—allofme—can’tloveyou.Because,it
can.And,Idon’twantyoutocompareyourself.You—God,Kali.Youbreathesomuch
lifeintome,”hewhispered,leaninghisfacedowntomine.“Don’t.Iwanttoseeyou
singingintoapaintbrushandchasingmearoundatableuntilIdielaughing.”

Inodded,squeezingbacktheemotion.“CanIbescaredofthis?”

“Pleasedo.I’mfuckingterrified.”

Forsomereason,itmademelaugh.Knowinghefeltthesameasme…Idon’tknow.

Itflippedaswitch,andinsteadofcrying,Iburstoutlaughing,wrappingmyarmsaround
hiswaist.

Hisslidaroundme.Hisbodyshookwithsilentlaughter,andinthatmoment,with

mysoullaidbare,wrappedaroundhim,Iknew.

Iknewthatwe’dbeokay.

Because,itwasjustlikemymomhadsaid.

Ineverwantedkids.NotuntilImetthetwowhoneededmetowantthem.

And,I’dneverwantedtowantanyoneasmuchasIdidthosecrazykids.

“Voom,voom!”Elishouted,runningthroughtheroominaflashofcolorwithhis

fistraisedintheair.

“Ewi!”Ellieclobberedafterhim,herplayshoessmackingagainstthekitchenasshe

readjustedthetiaraonherhead.“HowcandIsaveyouifyoukeepwunningawayfromd
me?”

IglancedupandmetBrantley’seyes.

Theysparkled.

Myheartskipped.

“Eli,”Icalled.“Staystillandletyoursisterrescueyou!”

“Voomvoom!”camefromunderthetable.

“Pickyourbattles,”Brantleymouthed,releasingmesoElicouldpopupbetween

us.Hismaskedfacejerkedbetweenusbeforehegrinnedandtookoff,headingforthe
stairs.

“Okay,”Ireplied.“Youfightthisone,then.”

“That’snotwhatImeant.”Hislipstwitched.

“Ewiiiiiiiiiiii!”Elliecried.

Icradledmycoffeewithasmirk.

Brantleysighed,strollingoutofthekitchen.“Eli!”

Epilogue

Oneyearlater

Istaredatthepartyspreadinfrontofme,thendownatmystomach.

Ilookedfat.

Notevenpregnant-fat,justfat.Thehorrible,awkwardmomentwherepeoplewould

stareatyouinthestoreastheyfigureditout.

Toopregnanttohideit,toosmalltoconfirmit,mymomkeptsaying.

Although,ifshetouchedmybumponemoretime,Iwasgoingtokaratechopher

headoffherfuckingshoulders.

Handsslidovermywaistandacrossthepudge.“Lookatthat,”Brantleymurmured,

drawingmybodyagainsthis.“Youfinallypassedthefatstage.”

Ilookeddownagain.Ieventiltedmyheadtothesides.“Doesthismeanyourmom

willstopquestioningherexistenceifshecanseethebump?”

“Yes.She’llprobablytouchyouafewtimes.”

“Nope.”Ishovedhishandsoffmeandpointedmyfingerathim.“Iamnotan

interactiveexhibitionatamuseum!I’mgoingtochange!”

“Kali!”helaughed,followingmeupthestairs.“I’mfuckingwithyou!”

“Nope!Betweenmymomandyours—nope!”Ithrewmyhandsintheair.“Iamnot

doingthis.”Itoremyshirtoffovermyheadandthrewitonthebed.“It’sbadenoughI
canbarelyworkbecauseofsafetyregulationsonawholebunchofshit,”Icontinued.
“Now,Ican’tevenhostabirthdaypartywithoutmyfatbeingfondled?Nope.Noway.I
spentthreehoursinthatkitchentoday.Three.Hours!YouknowthelasttimeIspentthree
hoursinthekitchen?”

“Youweretryingtohidethefactyouwerebinge-eatingyogurtandcookies.

Together.”

“Youdon’tgettojudgeme.”Ijabbedmyfingerthroughtheair.“Iwashungry!”

Heraisedhiseyebrowsandsmiled.

“Ididnotspendthreehoursinthatfuckingkitchentohavepeoplepokemyfat.”

“Thatfatisourdaughter.”

“Stillfat!”Ipokedmybarebumptoprovemypoint,andgotkickedharderthanI

everhadformytroubles.“Hey!”Isaidtomystomach.“Whatwasthat?”

“Didshekickyou?”

“Kickme.Trytobreakout.Samedifference.”

Hecameoverandrestedhishandonmystomach.“Doitagain,”hesaidsoftly.

“Pokeher.Gently.”

Iproddedthefrontofmystomach,andshekicked.Rightwherehisfingertipswere.

Asmilespreadacrosshisface.“She’stellingyoutogetoffher.Justpokeherevery

timeamomtouchesyou.”

Iwastornbetweengrinningthathe’dfeltherandglaringathissuggestion.I

decidedtopullmyt-shirtovermyheadinstead.

I’dboughtitespeciallyforthismutualmeetingofourparents.

Brantleywalkedaroundmeandreadtheshirt.“Handsoffthebump,”heread.

“Iwantedonethatsaid,“TouchmeandI’llcutyoulikeafish,”buttheydidn’thave

thatonZulily.”

Herubbedhishandoverhisface.“Justaswell.Iseverythingready?Theyshouldbe

backanyminute.”

“Everythingexceptmypatience.”

“You’retestytoday.DidElieatalltheyoghurtagain?”

Istaredathim.

“Yetstillsovery,verybeautiful,”hetried.

Istillstaredathim.

Helaughed,drawingmeclose.“Comeon,fatty.Iknowforafacttherearecookies

inthekitchen.Ihidthemhighupwherethekidscouldn’tgetthem.”

“AndIjustfellinlovewithyoualloveragain.”

Hekissedme,fightingasmile.

Downstairs,thedoorslammedopen.“Mommmmmmmmmy!”Elishouted.

Isighed.“Theregomycookies.”

Brantleycuppedmyface.“Quick,distracttheminthebackyard,andI’llgetthem

foryou.”

“Ijustswooned,”Isaid,kissingthecornerofhismouthandheadingforthestairs.

“Mommy!Whereareyou?”Ellieshrieked.

“Coming!”Ishouted.“Letthefatladywalk!”

Brantley’slaughterchasedmedownthestairs.

ElliefrownedasIcameintoview.“Youlookfattoday.”

“That’snotnice!”Elishovedher.“Mommylookspretty.”

“We’renotfighting.”Iwavedmyhandsandcroucheddowntotheminthehall.

“WhereareNannyandGranddad?”

“Inthecar,”Elliesaid.“Youreallydolookfattoday.CanItouchit?”

“You,”Isaid,“areallowed.”

Istoodsoshecould.Sheevengotthehintofakickforhertroubles.

Hereyeswidened.“Whatwasthat?”

“Yoursisterhasyourattitude,”Ireplied.

“Thatwasweird.”Elliebackedoff.“Daddy!Mommy’sstomachhitme!”Sheran

upstairs.

Elitouchedmystomach,too,alookofmildcuriosityonhisface.Thatquickly

changedtosadness.“Whywon’tshekickme?”

“Shelikesyou.”Igrinned,restingmyhandoverhis.“Andyouknowthebestpart

ofhavingtwosisters?”

“Therewillbenothinggoodabouthavingtwosisters,”hesaidsomberly.

“No,therewillbe.”Igentlytookhishandfrommineandbentdown.“You’re

guaranteedtobemyfavoriteboy.Them?Whoknows.”

Hegrinned,hisbrighteyessparkling.“Thatsoundsfun.”

Ireturnedthatsmileofhisandkissedhisnose.“Happybirthday,buddy.”

Hehuggedmyneck.“Thanks,Mommy.CanIgoeatsomeofthatfood?”

“Don’ttouchthecake,”Iwarnedhim.

Onethingtheyhadn’tgrownoutofwastheirloveforsuperheroesandprincesses,

andI’dmanagedtoincorporatethatintoonecake.

Allright.

I’dpaidsomeoneto,butitwasbasicallythesamething.

Wasn’tit?

“Godown,”Brantleysaidfromthestaircase.“Andgetadrink,then.”

IlaughedasElliescootedpastmetothefridge.

Helookedatme.“Oneday,”hesaid.“Oneday,wewillbechildfree.”

“Eighteenyearsandfivemonths,”Iresponded.

“Shit,”hemuttered.“Shouldathoughtofthat.”

“Beforeorafteryouthrewmeoverthesofa?”Iwrappedmyarmsaroundhiswaist

andlookedupathim.

Hesettledhisarmsaroundmyshouldersandpursedhislips.“Iwasn’tthinking

straightwhenIthrewyouoverit,so…”

Iburiedmyfaceinhischestandlaughed.“CanIhavemycookiesnow?”

Hekissedthetopofmyhead,laughing,too.“Surething,baby.”

Hereleasedme,stilllaughing.

AlotofthingshadchangedsinceI’dmettheCoopers.

Theringonmyfinger?Thathadchanged.Sohadthefactmyuteruswasincubating

atinyhumanbeing.Sohadmyname—Iwasn’tKawianymore,IwasMommy.

Theonethingthathadn’t?

Brantleystilllaughed.

Everyday.

Sometimeswithme.Sometimesatme.But,alwaysbecauseofme.

IfI’dhaveknownhoweverythingwouldchangewhenIwalkedthroughthedoor,I

probablyneverwouldhave.Myfamilyquadrupledovernight.Christmasgotbiggerand
moreexpensive,andresponsibilityrainedonme.

I’dcomeintothishousetofixbedrooms.

WhatI’ddonewasfixafamily.

And,I’dneverbeensodamnhappy.

Well…MaybewhenIgotmycookies.

TheEnd

EnjoyMISSFIX-IT?TryBeingBrookeorMixedUp!Detailsat

www.emmahart.org

MakesuretosignupforEmma’snewslettertogetearlycoverrevealsandexclusive

excerpts!http://bit.ly/EmmaAlerts

AbouttheAuthor

EmmaHartistheNewYorkTimesandUSATodaybestsellingauthorofovertwenty

novelsandhasbeentranslatedintoseveraldifferentlanguages.Shefirstputfingersto

keysattheageofeighteenafterherhusbandtoldhershereadtoomuchandshouldwrite

herown.

Fouryearslater,she’sstillfiguringoutwhathemeantwhenhesaidshe‘readtoo

much.’

Shepridesherselfonwritingsmartsmutthat’sfilledwithdrywit,snappy,sarcastic

comebacks,butlotsofheart…Andsex.Sometimes,shekillspeople.(Disclaimer:In

books.Butifyoubugher,she’lluseyournameforthevictims.)

Youcanfindheronlineat:

www.emmahart.org

www.facebook.com/emmahartbooks

www.instagram.com/EmmaHartAuthor

www.pinterest.com/authoremmhart

Alternatively,youcanjoinherreadergroupathttp://bit.ly/EmmaHartsHartbreakers.

YoucanalsogetallthingsEmmatoyouremailinboxbysigningupforEmma

Alerts*.http://bit.ly/EmmaAlerts

*Emailssentforsales,newreleases,pre-orderavailability,andcoverreveals.Each

coverrevealcontainsanexclusiveexcerpt.

BooksbyEmmaHart

TheVegasNightsseries:

Sin

Lust

Strippedseries:

StrippedBare

StrippedDown

TheBurkeBrothers:

DirtySecret

DirtyPast

DirtyLies

DirtyTricks

DirtyLittleRendezvous

TheHollyWoodsFiles:

TwistedBond

TangledBond

TetheredBond

TiedBond

TwirledBond

BurningBond

TwinedBond

ByHisGameseries:

Blindsided

Sidelined

Intercepted

Callseries:

LateCall

FinalCall

HisCall

Wildseries:

WildAttraction

WildTemptation

WildAddiction

Wild:TheCompleteSeries

TheGameseries:

TheLoveGame

PlayingforKeeps

TheRightMoves

WorththeRisk

Memoriesseries:

NeverForget

AlwaysRemember

Standalones:

BlindDate

BeingBrooke

CatchingCarly

Casanova

MixedUp

MissFix-It

MissMechanic(comingDecember12)

TheUpsidetoBeingSingle(comingJanuary30,

2018)

Document Outline

Table of Contents
Title Page
Dedication
Copyright
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter Twenty-Four
Chapter Twenty-Five
Chapter Twenty-Six
Epilogue
The End
About the Author
Books by Emma Hart

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