"YOU'RECOMINGTOSANANTONIOWITHME."BesslookedatJudeindisbelief."I'mwhat?"
"Youheardme."Hesetdownhiscup."TheonlywayIcancontrolthatstockisbymarryingyou.So
that'showwe'lldoit."Shestaredathimuncomprehendingly.ItwassolikeJudetotakethedirect
approach."I'vewaitedyearstogetmyhandsonthoseshares,andI'mhavingthem.Ifyoucomealong
withthedeal,I'lljusthavetomakethebestofit.""Whatmakesyouthinkyou'reanyprize?You're
coldandhardanddon'tcareaboutanybodyintheworld!""That'sgospel,"heagreed."Butyou'llgo
tothealtarwithmeifIhavetotieyouupandgagyou,exceptforthepartwhereyousay,'1do.'""Ido
not,"shecorrected."Youcan'tforcemetomarryyou.""Thinknot?"

DIANAPALMERTHERAWHIDEMAN

ChapterOne

ThunderwascrashingwildlyoutsidetheelegantmiddleGeorgiahouse,butthepoisedyoungwoman
standingintheparlorwastoonumbtobefrightenedofit.Theordealofthepasttwodayshad
strippedhernervesofallfeeling.ElizabethMeriamWhitewastwenty-twoandfeltfifty.Hermother's
lingeringillnesshadbeentormentenough,butshehadn'texpectedthelosstobesotraumatic.
Wishingonlythepeaceofoblivionforherbelovedparent,shehadn'trealizedhowemptyherown
lifewasgoingtobecome.Nowshehadnoone.HerstepsisterhadleftthatmorningforParisina
whirlofexpensiveperfumeandchiffon,withhershareoftheirmother'sestatefirmlyinhand.They'd
neverbeenclose,butBesshadhopedforsomethingmoreaftertheordeal.Sheshouldhaveknown
better.Crystalhadneveronceofferedtohelpnurseherdyingstepmother.Afterall,she'dtoldBess
carelessly,therewasplentyofmoneytohiresomeonetodothat.Plentyofmoney.Besscouldhave
cried.Yes,therehadbeen,untilBess'sfatherdiedandhermotherremarriedtoJonathanSmytheand
turnedherfather'sbusinessinterestsovertohim.Carlahadneverbotheredwithfinance,exceptto
makesurethattheRawhideMancouldn'tgethishandsonthatpreciousblockofsharesintheTexas
oilcorporationhisfatherandBess'shadpioneeredtogether.BessshiveredatthethoughtofJude
Langston.She'dalwaysthoughtofhimasrawhidethroughandthrough,becausehewaslikethat--lean
andtoughandverynearlyinvulnerable.Hehadn'tbeenatthefuneral,butBesshadseenhermother's
willandsheknewhe'dbealong.Evenindeath,Carla'sobsessionwithbestingJudewenton.

Withalongsigh,Besswalkedtothewindowandwatchedtherainbeatingdownoutsideonthebleak,
barrentrees,whoseautumnleaveshadonlyjustdisappearedascoldDecemberhoveredoverhead.
Sheleanedherforeheadagainstthecoldwindowpaneandclosedhereyes.Oh,Mama,shethought
miserably,Ineverknewwhatlonelinesswasuntilnow.Ineverknew.

Ithadbeenalongyear.Alongtwoyears.Carlahadhadaprogressivekindofbonecancerthathadn't
respondedtoanykindoftreatment,notradiationorchemotherapy.ANDCarlaherselfhadrefused
anydiscussionofbonemarrowtransplants.Soherdeathhadbeenbyinches,whileBesshadtotobe
braveandnurseherandnotgotopiece.Ithadn'tbeeneasy.Hermotherhadademandingand

perverseandirritableimpatient.ButBesslovedher.Andshetookcareofher,upuntilthefinal
hospitalstay.ShediditwithoutanyhelpfromCrystal,becauseCrystalwashavingamadwitha
Frenchcountandcouldn'tbebotheredtocomehome.Excepttograbhershareofthepitifulamount
ofmoneythatwasleft,ofcourse.Besshadremindedhercoldlythathospitalanddoctorbillshad
drainedthefamilyresources.AndthenCrystalhadaskedabouttheoilstock____Bessrubbedthe
backofherneckwhereitfeltstrainedtothelimit.Shewassickalloverwithgriefandthelackofrest
andfood.Thestock,Crystalhadsaid,mightpullBessoutofthehole."Evenso,you'llhavetosellthe
house,Bess,"Crystalhadsaid,oddlysympathetic."It'smortgagedtotherootsofthegrass.""The
minutehehearsfromtheattorneys,JudeLangstonwillcomedownonmyheadlikejudgment,"Bess
returned,"andyouknowit.""Thatsexyman,"Crystalsaid,noddingdreamily."MyGod,whatawaste,
tolooklikethatandbeashardasheis.Hecouldhavewomenbythebarrelful,butallhewantstodo
isplayaroundwithoilandcattleandthatbabyofhis.""Katy'snotababyanymore,"Bessreminded
her."She'salmostten."

"That'sright,yougototherancheverysummer,don'tyou,tothosereunions?Butyoudidn'tgothis
summer____"Crystalremarked.Besscoloreddelicatelyandturnedaway."Ihadtotakecareof
mother,"shesaidshortly.''Yes,Iknowitwashard.I'dhavehelpeddarling,reallyIwould,but..."Her
delicatefeaturestwisted."Whatwillyoudoaboutthestock?""IwishIdidn'thaveit,"Besssaid
levelly."Idon'trelishhavingtofaceJude.Ionlywishmotherhadn'ttiedupthestockthewayshedid."
"Oh,shehatedhim,allright,"Crystalsaid,laughing."Evenwhenshewasable,she'dnevergotothe
reunions,becausesheknewhe'dbethere.Whyweretheysuchenemies?"''Becauseshewasasociety
girl,"Besssaidbitterly,remembering."Andthere'snothingintheworldJudehatesmore.Katy's
motherwasone,youknow.ShebroketheirengagementwhilehewasinVietnamandmarried
someoneelse,eventhoughshewascarryinghischild.Hestilltakesthathatredoutonanyonehandy.
Mother.Orme.Ijustwishthebattlehaddiedwithher.""Ithinkyou'llmanage,sweet,"Crystaltold
her,sizingupherstepsister'stall,elegantcarriage.Besswasn'texactlypretty,butshewasaladyand
shehadclass,anditstuckoutalloverher,fromhersilverblondhairtohersoftbrowneyesand
creamycomplexion."AgainstJude?"Besssmiledsadly."Iwatchedhimbackdownanarmedcowboy
once,whenIwaswithDadattheLangstonranch.Iwasaboutfourteen,andoneofthehandsgotmad
atJudeforsomething.HetookacoupleofdrinksandwentatJudewithaloadedgun.Judedidn'teven
flinch.Hewalkedstraightintothegun,tookitawayfromthecowboyandbeathimtohisknees."
"Youreyesflashwhenyoutalkabouthim,"Crystalobserved,watchingBess."Heexcitesyou,doesn't
he?""Hefrightensme,"theoldergirllaughednervously.Crystalshookherheadslowly."You're
awfullynaiveforawomanyourage.Itisn'tfear,butyouaren'texperiencedenoughtoknowthat,are
you?"sheaskedabsently.Thensheshruggedandwhirledaway."Havetorun,pet.Jacquesismeeting
meattheairport.Letmeknowhowthingsworkout,won'tyou?"Andthatwasthat.Besswasleft
aloneinthehouse,anditwasgettingdark.Shehadnofamily,noclosefriends--therehadn'tbeenthe
opportunitytomakefriends,withaninvalidmotherwhoneededconstantcare.Soshewasalone.
InvoluntarilyhermindwentwanderingbacktoJudelikeapuppythatwouldn'tmind.He'dbealong,
allright.AssoonasherealizedthatBesshadcontrolofhispreciousstock,he'dbeatherthroat.He
hadn'tmanagedtorunoverCarla,though,andhewasn'tgoingtorunoverBess,either.Shehadthe
sharesandshewaskeepingthem.Theywereallthatstoodbetweenherandstarvation,andtheypaida
highdividend.Sheletthecurtainfallandturnedawayfromthewindowtooquicklytocatchtheflash
ofcarlightsagainsttheglass.Theforceoftherainmuffledthesoundofapurringenginecoming
closer.Besswentintothebarehallandsatdownonthesteps,rafflingherdisheveledblondhair.She

touchedherfacelightly,mentallycomparingitwithCrystal's.Hernosewasarrowstraight;her
mouthhadabee-stungappearance,fullandredandsoft.Herbrowneyeswerewidespacedand
appealing.Shewasn'tbeautifullikeherstepsister,butshewasn'tugly,atleast.Ofcourse,shewasvery
thinandsmallbreasted--notvoluptuouslikeCrystal.Butsomedayshemightfindamanandget
married.AndagainshethoughtofJudeandcursedherstubborn,stupidmind.Judewouldnever
marry.Forheaven'ssake,he'dneverevenbotheredtomarryKaty'smother!Bessstaredaroundherat
theopulenthome,whichhadbeenpartoftheWhiteestateforoverahundredyears,survivingeven
theCivilWar.Howsadthatithadn'tbeenabletosurvivetheSmythes,shethoughtwithasurgeof
humor.Crystalwasright,ofcourse.Itwouldhavetobesold.Dividendsfromherstockswould
provideenoughtosupportherifshewasfrugal,butnottomaintainthehouseaswell.Withaweary
groanshegottoherfeet.Shemightaswellgetbusyandcleanoutsomedrawersorsomething.It
wouldhavebeenablessingifshe'dhadajobtogoto,butshe'dbeentrainedfornothingexcept
managingthismonstroushouse.Andsoonshewouldn'thaveeventhat.Shelaughedalmost
hystericallyatthethought.She'dhavetogetajob.Thesuddenclangofthedoorbellmadeherjump.
Shehadn'texpectedvisitorsinthiswildrain.Sheglancedatherhairinthemirror.Itlookedasifit
hadbeencaughtinawindmill,buttherewasnotimetofixit,andshewasn'twearingmakeupatall.
Shelookedpaleandplainandsickly.Shehopedthiswasn'tgoingtobeanotherbillcollector;shebad
enoughtroublealready,andthephonecallsanddemandsforpaymentweregrowing,hourlysincethe
newsofhermother'sdeathhadbeenmadepublic.Whenitraineditpoured,shethoughtdesperately.

Awildshudderwentthroughherwhensheopenedthedoor.Themanoutsidewastheimageofevery
woman'ssecretdream.Tall,broadshoulderedandlonglegged,dressedinanexpensivegraypin-
stripedsuitwithmatchingStetsonandboots,helookedlikesomethingoutofasmartmen'smagazine.
Buthisface,deeplytanned,wasasinscrutableasastonecarving.Hismouthwasrigid,asfirmashis
jaw.Hiseyesweredeeplysetunderthickblacklashesandtheywereaglitteringpalegreen.His
scowlingeyebrowswerethesamejetblackasthehairsheglimpsedunderhishat.Andthewhole
portraitwassoformidablethatsheinstinctivelysteppedback."You'vebeenexpectingme,Iimagine,"
JudeLangstonsaidcurtly,justatraceofaTexasaccentinhisdeep,measuredvoice."Oh,yes,along
withflood,earthquakeandvolcaniceruptions,"sheagreed,usingtheprotectiveguiseofhumorthat
hadalwayssavedhernerveswhenshehadtodealwithhim."Iwon'tevenbotheraskingwhyyou're
here.Obviously,you'veseenthewill."

Hemovedforward,andsheknewhimtoowelltostandherground.Heclosedthedoorroughly
behindhim,andraindrippedfromthewidebrimofthegrayhatthatshadowedpartofhisface.
"Wherecanwetalk?"Sheturned,rememberingthatshewasstillMissWhiteofOakgrove,andled
himintotheshabbyparlor."Stillthesocietygirl,Isee,"hetaunted,droppingdownontothesofa."Do
Igetcoffee,MissWhite,oraren'ttheservantsworkingtoday?"Sheblanched,butherchinliftedand
herbrowneyesaccused."Mymotherdiedtwodaysago,"shesaidpointedly,"socouldyousaveyour
sarcasmforaspecialoccasion?Yes,there'scoffee,andno,therearen'tanyservants.Therehaven't
beenforanumberofyears.Ordon'tyouknowyetthattheonlythingstandingbetweenmeand
imminentstarvationisthatblockofoilsharesyou'resohottogetyourhandson?"Helookedasif
she'dactuallysurprisedhim,butsheturnedaway."I'llgetthecoffee,"shesaidcurtly.

Whileshewasgone,shecooleddownherhottemper.Itwouldn'tdoheranygoodwithJude;theonly
chanceshehadwastokeepherheadandnotgoforhisthroat.Bythetimeshecarriedthewornsilver
serviceintothelivingroom,he'ddiscardedhistopcoatandhatandwaswanderingaroundtheroom,
glancingdistastefullyattheportraitofCarlaandBessabovethemantel.Heturnedandwatchedher
settheheavyserviceonthecoffeetablewithoutofferingtohelp.Thatwaslikehim,theoriginal
chauvinistwhohadnotimeforwomen."Thankyou,"shesaidelegantly,"foryourkindofferof
assistance.""Isthedamnedthingheavy?"heaskedcarelessly.Shealmostlaughed.Thesituationwas
unbelievable.Shesatdownandpouredoutthecoffee,handinghimhisblackwithoutrealizingwhat
thatlittleslipgaveaway."ShouldIbeflatteredthatyourememberhowItakemycoffee?"heasked,
leaningbacktostudyherinsolently,runninghiseyesovereverycurveoutlinedbythesimplegray
jerseydressshewaswearing.

"Don'tputonyourcowboydrawlforme,mister,"sherepliedquietly,liftinghercuptoherlips."I
knowyou.""Youthinkyoudo,"heagreed,hisgreeneyesnarrowing."How'sKaty?"sheasked.He
shrugged."Growingupfast."Hisgazefocusedonher."Sheaskedaboutyouwhenthefamilygot
togetherthissummer.""I'msorryImissedit,"shesaid."Icouldn'tleaveMother."Heflexedhisbroad
shouldersandleanedforward.TheactionstretchedthefabricofIn-,pantsoverhispowerfulthighs
andBesshadtolookaway."That'senoughsmalltalk,"hesaidsuddenly,piercinghereyeswithhis.
"You'regoingbacktoSanAntoniowithme."Shehardlyhadtimetocatchherbreath.iinwhat?"You
heardme."Hesetdownhiscup."TheonlywayIcancontrolthatstockisbymarryingyou.Sothat's
howwe'lldoit."

Herbodyjerkedasifhe'dhither,andshestaredathimuncomprehendingly.Shemightavethoughtof
thisbefore--itwassolikeJudetotakethedirectapproach."No,"shesaidshortly."Yes,"hereplied.
"I'vewaitedyearstogetmyhandsonthoseshares,andI'mhavingthem.Ifyoucomealongwiththe
deal,I'lljusthavetomakethebestofit.''Shewentredinthefaceandsatupstraight."Whatmakesyou
thinkyou'reanyprize?"sheaskedinhercoldesttone."You'recoldandhardandyoudon'tcareabout
anybodyintheworldexceptKaty!''"That'sabsolutelygospel,"heagreed,staringatherunblinkingly.
"Butyou'llgotothealtarwithmeifIhavetotieyouupandgagyou,exceptforthepartwhereyou
sayIdo.'""Idonot,"shecorrected."Youcan'tforcemetomarryyou.''"Thinknot?"Hestoodup,his
greeneyesglitteringwithcoldhumor,hisfaceconfidentandfrighteninglyhard.Helefttheroom,
andBessstoodup,staringhelplesslyaround.Whatintheworldwashedoing!

Minuteslaterhewasback,withhercoatinonehandandherpursedanglingfromhisfingers.He
slungthemather."I'veundonethefusebox.YoucancallarealestateagentSanAntonioandputthe
houseontheauctionblock.Anylittlethingsyouwantcanbeshippedout.Nowputonthatcoat."She
couldn'tbelievethiswashappening,itmustbeahallucinationbroughtonbythestrainshetold
herself.Butaminutelater,alwaysimpatient,hewasstuffingherintothecoat.Hejerkedthehoodup
andthrustthepurseintoherhands."Iwontgo!"shecriedout."Likehellyouwon'tgo."Hebentand
swungherintohisarmslikeasackoffeathersandcarriedheroutintotherain.

ChapterTwo

Thisisn'thappening,BesstoldherselfanhourlaterasshesatbesideJudeinthecockpitofhisbig
Cessna.Itsimplyisn'thappening!Butthesoundoftheenginewasveryreal,,andsowasJude'sset,
humorlessfaceasheconcentratedonflyingtheplane.Characteristically,hewasn'ttrustinghis]lifeto
anotherpilot.Helikedhavingtotalcontrol--ineverything.Thatwaswhyhewasflyinghimselfand
thatwaswhyhewantedtheblockofsharesthatBessnowowned.Iwasalso,Besssuspected,whyno
womanevermanagedtogethimtothealtarinconventionalway.Fallinginlovewouldbegivinga
measureofcontroltosomeoneelse,too.Sheleanedbackintheseat,staringblanklyattheclouds
ahead,andwonderedhowshewasgoingtogetherselfoutofthispredicament.Surelysomeother
waycouldbefoundtogivehimthestock,ifhereimbursedher.Shebrightened.Untilshe
rememberedtheexactwordingofthewill.Shemutteredunderherbreath.Carlahadtakencareofthat
angle,too.TheonlywayJudecouldpossiblygetthestockwastomarryBess.Andthat,Carlahad
smuglythought,he'dneverdo.HedislikedBess.Everyoneknewit,too.Theyfoughtlikecatsand
dogs,andpeoplemovedoutofthewayatLangstonfamilyget-togetherswhentheywerepresent.The
reuniontwosummersagowasthereasonBesshadstayedawayfromthemostrecentgathering.She
andJudehadgottenintoahorriblefightaboutKaty.Shecouldstillblushatthelanguagehe'dused;
thefactthattherehadbeenbystanderspresenthadn'tslowedhimdownoneiota.

KatyhadtoldBessaboutafightshe'dbeeninatschool,statingproudlythatshe'ddonejustlike
Daddy,she'dpoundedthehelloutofaboytwicehersize,andwasn'tthatsuper?"Super"hadbeen
Katy'slatestword;itdescribedeverythingfromherdog,Pal,tothecalfJudehadgivenhertoraise.
For4-H.Besshadn'tthoughtitwassupernowthatKatywaseight.She'dthoughtitwasterrible,and
she'dtoldJudesolaterastheyweresittingtogetherhavingdinnerwithsomeoftheotherfamily
membersatarestaurantonthePaseodelRio.Traditionally,theyalwaysconcludedtheannualpicnic
androdeoattherestaurant,whichJudewouldbookforanarmandalegandthefamilywouldfill.
"What'swrongwithKatystickingupforherself?"he'ddemanded."Thedamnedboyhitherfirst."
"She'sagirl,"Besshadburstout,exasperatedwithhim."Forheaven'ssake,shealreadydressesand
talkslikeaboy.Whatamyoutryingtodotoher?''

"Teachhertostandupforherself,"he'drepliedcoolly,andhadgonebacktosippinghiswhiskey,
raisinghishandasanothermalememberofthefamilyenteredtherestaurant."Teachinghertobea
freak,"Besshadsaidunderherbreath.Thathadsethimoff.Shecouldstillseehimrising,asslowly
asarattlesnakecoiling,hiseyesglitteringanddangerous,hisfacetaut."Katyismydaughter,"he'd
saidwithagoldsmile."Idecidewhat'sgoodorbadforher,andIdon'tneedhelpfromsomedainty
littlesocietyladywhocouldn'tfightherwayfightherwayoutofaneclair!Whothehelldoyouthink
youaretotellmehowtoraisemydaughter?Whatqualifiesyoutobeanybody'smother?"Hisvoice
wasraisedjustenoughtocarrytotheothertables,andtherewasasuddenhush,brokenonlybythe
soundofriverandthemuffledvoicesofstrollingpassersbyontheriverwalk.Besshadwantedto
cringe.Peoplearestaring,"Besshadsaidunderherbreath.

"Well,myGod,letthemstare!"he'dboomed,scowlingdownather."Ifyou'resofreewithyour
damnedadviceonchildraising,let'stelleverybody.Goahead,MissWhite,doadvisemeonthe
behaviorofmychild!"Herfacewaswhitewithembarrassmentandhumiliation,butsheheldherhead
upandstaredbackathim.''Idon'tthinkIneedtorepeatit,"shesaidverycalmly.Itmadehimeven
angrierthathecouldn'tmakeherlosehercomposureentirely.Thatwaswhenhe'dstartedcursing.
"Youdamnedlittleprig,"he'dtackedonattheend,andbythattimeherfacewasasredasithadbeen
whiteearlier."Whydon'tyougetmarriedandhavekidsofyourown?;Can'tyoufindamangood
enough?"He'dlaughedcoldlyandlookedoverherbodywithcontempt."Orcan'tyoufindaman?"!
Andhe'dturnedandwalkedaway,leavinghersittingtherewithtearsstinginghereyes.Thefamily
hadlostinterestthenandgoneontoothertopics.Besshadgonebacktoherhotelandpacked.Itwas
thelasttimeshe'dhadanycontactwithJude,untilnow!

"Soquiet,MissWhite,"hetaunted,jerkingheroutofherreveries."Soladylike.Youdidn'tevenkick
andscream.Isthatkindofbehaviortoohumanforyou?"Sheliftedherchin,herperfectcomposure
intact,andlookedathim."Lookwho'stalkingaboutbeinghuman,"shesaidwithacoolsmile.Oneof
histhickeyebrowsjerked."But,Ithan,Ineverclaimedtobe,didI?"Sheavertedhereyes."IfI'dhad
anydoubtsaboutit,youquelledthemtwosummersago."Hemadeasounddeepinhisthroat."You
ran,"herecalledcurtly."Somehow,Ididn'texpectthat.You'veneverrunfrommebefore.The
wordingwasunusualanditmadeherfurious,butshewasn'tinthemoodtostarttryingtounravel
Judeagain."Ididn'trun,"shereplied,tellingthelieverycalmly."Isimplydidn'tseeanyreasonto
stayanextradayandgiveyouanymoreshotsatme."Heglancedather."ImeantwhatIsaidabout
Katy,"hesaiddarkly."Idon'twanthermadeintoaminiaturedebutante,isthatclear?Youlayone
handonherwardrobeandyou'llwishyouhadn't."Therewasnoarguingwithhimwhenhewasin
thatmood;sheknewthelookfrommemory.Sheturnedherfaceaway."Don'tworry,Iwon'tbe
aroundlongenoughtodoanydamage.""You'llbearound.Nowshutup,"headded,glaringherway.
"Idon'tlikeconversationwhenI'mflyingthisthing.Youwouldn'twanttocrash,wouldyou?""The
airplanewouldn'tdare,"shemutteredangrily,glancingathim."Likemosteverythingelsearound
you,it'stoointimidatedtotakethechance!''Surprisingly,helaughed.Butitwasbrief,andthenhis
facewasthefamiliarhardoneshewasaccustomedto.TheylandedattheSanAntonioairportlatethat
night,andBesswasexhausted.Shebarelynoticedhersurroundingsuntiltheywereheadingtoward
theexitandshegotagoodlookatthewalls.Theywerehungwithpaintings,allforsale,allexquisite,
andmostofWesternsubjectmatter.

"Oh,howbeautiful!"sheexclaimedoverone,whichshowedaranchhouseandawindmill
overlookingavastexpanseofdesertland.ItlookedlikeWestTexasmighthavelookedahundred
yearsago,andshewasinstantlyinlovewithit."Comeon,forGod'ssake,"Judemuttered,dragging
herawaywithasteelyhandonherarm.Thetouchwentthroughherlikelire."Couldyoustop
grumblingforoneminute?"sheaskedhim,glaringup,anditwasIlongwaydespitehertwo-inch
heelsandherlivefeet,seveninchesofheight."Andglaringandscowling____"Heliftedaneyebrow
andlookeddownhisnoseather."Whydon'tyoustopcriticizingeverybodyaroundyouandtakea
lookatyourself,societygirl?"hetaunted."Whatmakesyouthinkyou'reperfect?"Sheknewshe

wasn't,butithurt,comingfromhim."Iwon'tmarryyou,"shesaidWithcontrolledferocity.''Notif
youkillmefirst.""IfIkilledyoufirst,therewouldn'tbeanypointinmarryingyou,"hesaid
conversationally.Hepulledheralongwithhim.''Andyoumightaswellstoparguing.You'regoing
tomarrymeandthat'stheendofit."Theysteppedoutintothenippyairandshetuggedhercoat
closer.Itwasn'traininghere,butitwascoldallthesame.Thepalmtreeslookedchilly,andthe
mesquiteandoaktreestheydrovepastinJude'sblackMercedeshadnoleavesonthem.Theylooked
asstarkasthepecantreesbackhome.Pecansremindedheroffood,whichremindedherthatshe
hadn'thadanythingtoeatsincebreakfast,andthensherememberedwhathe'dsaidaboutturningoff
thepower."Mygosh,youidiot!"sheburstout,turningintheseat."Youcutoffthepowertothe
refrigerator!"Heglancedather."Don'tstartnamecalling.I'vegotanedgeonyouinthatdepartment.
Sowhatifitspoils?Youwon'tbetheretoeatit.""Itwillsmellupthewholehouse!""I'lltakecareof
it,"hesaidcalmly."Youcangivemethenameofarealtor.''

"Youcan'tordermetosellOakgrove!"sheburstoutirrationally,thoughearliershe'dmadeupher
mindtodojustthat."It'sbeeninmyfamilyforoverahundredyears!""You'llsellitifIsayso,"he
returned,givingherahardglare."ShadesofScarlettO'Hara.It'sjustapieceoflandandanold
house."Shethoughtbacktoallthefamilypicnics,theridesthroughthewoods,thebeautifulsprings
andsummersandthelovingcarethateachgenerationhadlavishedontheestate.Suddenlyitwasclear
toherthatshewouldn'tsellit,afterall."No,"shesaid,"it'salegacy.Iflandissounimportant,whydo
youholdontoBigMesquite?""That'sdifferent,"hesaid."It'smine."''Oakgroveismine.''"God,
you'restubborn,"hegrowled,glaringacrossthepassengerseatather."Whatdoyouwanttheplace
for?""It'smyhome,"shetoldhim."Whenyoucometoyoursenses,I'mgoingbacktheretolive."
AndI'llfigureoutsomewayinmaintainit,sheaddedtoherself.

Heturnedhisattentionhacktotheroad."Ineedthosedamnedshares.Yourmother,"headdedcurtly,
"hasverynearlycostmethecorporationI'veworkedallmylifetobuildup.Bydenyingmethe
sharesthatwererightfullymine,she'stiedmeupinaproxyfightthatI'vealmostlost.""Aproxy
fight?"sheaskeddully."Ihaveanenemyonmyboardofdirectors,"hesaidshortly,asifitirritated
himtohavetotellhereventhatmuch."He'sshrewdandcunning,andhecanswayvotes.We'realmost
evenrightnow.I'vegottohavethatblockofsharesyouownorI'lllosecontrolofthecorporation."
"Can'tyoufindsomeotherwaytogetthem?"sheaskedbitterly.Hesighed."I'vegotmyattorneys
workingonitrightnow,goingoveryourmother'swillwithafine-toothcomb.Buttheyaren't
optimistic,andneitheramI.She's!madesurethatIcan'tbuythosesharesfromyou.Undertheterms
ofthewill,youcan'tgivethemtome,either.Itlooksasiftheonly:wayIcancontrolthemistomarry
you/'HeIglancedsideways,hiseyeshotandangry."Itwouldalmostbeworthlosingthe
corporation,"hemuttered,"tosendyouhome."Shedrewinawearybreath."Thecorporationisyour
problem.Ifyoucanfindawaytogetthestocks,wellandgood,butI'mnotmarryingyou.I'drather
starve.""Thefeelingismutual,butneitherofusmayhaveanychoice.""Ihave,"shereturned."Not
withme,"herepliedcalmly."Notachanceinhell.Ifittakesmarriage,you'llmarryme.""Ihateyou!"
sheburstout,rememberinggraphicallythehumiliationshe'dsufferedfromhim."Givemeonegood
reasonwhyIshouldevenconsiderbeingtiedtoyou?""Katy,"hesaidsimply.Sheleanedbackagainst
theseat,feelingutterlydefeated,andclosedhereyes."Youdon'twantmearoundKaty,you'vesaidso
oftenenough.I'llcorrupther."Helitacigaretteashedrove,staringaheadatthestreetlitexpanseof

thesprawlingcityofSanAntonio."Sheneedsamother,"hesaidfinally."I'vedonesomethinking
aboutwhatyousaidatthatreunion.I'mnotagreeingthatyouwereright,"headdedwithaglare."But
I'mwillingtoconcedethatyouweren'ttotallyoffbase.She'sgrowinguptough.Maybetootough.A
softeninginfluencewouldn'tbesuchabadidea.Andshelikesyou,"hegrowled,asifthatwastotally
incomprehensible."Ilikeher,too,"shesaidquietly,andlethimchewonthat."Butwhatareyou
offeringme?You'dbegettingcontrolofmysharesandamotherforKaty,butwhatwouldIget?"His
eyebrowswentup."Whatdoyouwant?Tosleepwithme?"Helethiseyeswanderoverherwildly
flushedface."IsupposeIcouldforcemyself....""Damnyou!"sheburstout,hurtbythesarcasticway
he'dsaidit.Heturnedhisattentionbacktotheroad."Comeon,wildcat,tellmewhatyouwant."She
shiftedrestlessly."Nottobeforcedintomarryingyou.''"That'saforegoneconclusion."Hepuffed
awayonhiscigarette."Tellyouwhat,societygirl.Ifworsecomestoworstandwehavetogothrough
withit,I'llmaintainthatantebellumdisasterforyou,andyouandKatycanspendsummersthere."She
turnedherheadandstudiedhisunyieldingprofile."Youwould?""Iwould."Andhemeantit,she
knew.Whenhegavehisword,hekeptit.Shepursedherlips."Wecouldn'tjusthaveaquickmarriage
andaquickerannulment?Tosatisfythetermsofthewill?""WhatwouldthatdotoKaty?"heasked
suddenly.Shedrewinaslowbreathandletitout."Oh.""Yes,oh.She'ssodamnedexcitedabout
havingyouhere,she'shalfcrazy,"hesaid."Itoldher,"headdedwithacoldstare,"thatyouwere
comingoutheresothatwecoulddecidewhetherornotwewantedtogetmarried.""She'llnever
believeyouwanttomarryme,"sherepliedtersely."Won'tshe?"Amockingsmilecurledhislips."I
toldherIwasnursingasecretpassionforyouandhopedtowinyouover.""Youbast---!"

"Uh,uh,uh,"hecautioned."Noneofthoseunladylikewords,ifyouplease.You'llembarrassme."
"Satanhimselfcouldn'tdothat,"sheshotback."Oh,Jude,letmegohome,"shemoaned."Ican'tfight
you.I'mtootired.""Thenstoptrying.Youwon'twin."Shelaughedbitterly."Don'tIknowit?"She
turnedawayandlookedoutthewindowattheflathorizonastheyheadedsouthoutofSanAntonio.
Tearsprickedathereyesasshethoughthowfarawayfromhomeshewas.Fromhermother.Asob
caughtinherthroatandtearsburstfromhereyesasthecontrolshe'dmaintainedsovaliantlyslipped
andbroke."MyGod,youdon'tevencrylikeanormalwoman,"hegroundout."Stopthat!"Sheshook
herheadanddabbedatthetears."Ilovedher,"shemanagedshakily."It'sonlybeentwodays,for
God'ssake,Jude...!""Well,allthetearsintheworldwon'tbringherback,willthey?"heasked
irritably."Andintheshapeshewasin,wouldyoureallywantto?"

Sheshiftedontheseat.Hecouldn'tunderstandgrief,shesupposed,neverhavingfeltit.Hismother
haddiedwhenhewasaninfant,andhisfatherhadneverbeendemonstrative.Hehadbeenevenmore
unapproachablethanJude,worldsharder.Whichwassayingalot,becausetheRawhideManwaslike
steel.Shedashedthetearsawayandtookadeepbreath."Idon'twanttolivewithacold-heartedstatue
likeyou,"shesaid."You're...you'relikerawhide.""Butyou'lldoit,ifitcomestothat.You'lldoitfor
Katy'ssake."Heturnedontothelongroadthatledtotheranch."I'llrunaway!"shesaiddramatically.
"I'llcomeafteryouandbringyouback,"hesaidcarelessly."Jude!"shegroundout,exasperated.
"Rememberthatsummerwhenyouwerefifteen?"herecalledwithachuckle."Youwentoutintothe
brushwithJessBowman,andIrodeallnighttofindyou.Youwerehuddledupinhiscoatwitha
twistedankle,andhewaswalkingdowntheroadtryingtoflagdownacar."

"Iremember,"shesaid,shuddering."Youbrokehisnose.""IhitwhenIgetmad,"hesaid."Heriled
meplenty,leavingyououttherealoneatnightwithrattlerscrawlingandcougarsontheloose.""He
couldn'thavecarriedme,"sheprotested."Idid,"heremindedher."AndIwasn'tasheavyinthosedays
asIamnow."No,he'dfilledoutandfirmedupandhewasdevastating.Allman.Sherememberedthat
briefwalkinhishardarms,thestrengthandpowerofhisframeashestrodealong.Itwasthesafest
she'deverfeltinherlife--andthemostafraid."ThatwasthesummerafterElisedied,beforeIgot
Katyawayfromherstepfather.Thelastsummer,too,thatyoueverspentanylengthoftimeatthe
ranch,"herecalled."Thatwaswhenyoustartedavoidingme."Shefelthercheeksgohotatthe
memory.She'dfeltsomethingthatlong-agonightthathadhauntedhereversince.Andbecauseithad
frightenedher,she'davoidedtheranchwheneverpossible,exceptforflyingvisitstoseeKaty.Andthe
familyreunions,ofcourse,whichcamefrequentlyduringtheyear.Notthattheywerereallyfamily,
butbecauseofthepartnershipofherfatherandhis,shewasalwaysincludedandexpectedtotakepart.
"Whydidyoustayaway?"heaskedquietly."We'vehadourdisagreementsovertheyears,God
knows,butI'veneverhurtyou."Thatwastrueenough.Shestareddownatherhands,foldedinherlap.
"Idon'tknow,"shelied.Heliftedacarelesseyebrow."WereyouafraidI'dmakeapass?"Sheflushed,
andhethrewbackhisheadandlaugheddeeply."Youwerefifteen,"heremindedherwithachuckle.
"Andyouhadevenlesstodrawaman'seyethanyoudonow."Hiseyeswereonhersmallbreasts,
andshewantedtodivethroughthewindow.Defensivelyshefoldedherarmsoverherchestand
loweredhereyetothefloorboard,soembarrassedthatshewantedtocry.

"ForGod'ssake,stopthat,"hegrowled."You'dappealtosomemen,Isuppose.Youjustdon'tappeal
tome."Wasthatconscience,shewondered'numbly?Ifitwas,itdidn'tconsolehermuch."I'llget
downonmykneesandgivethanksforthatsmallblessing,"shesaidcoldly."You'retheonewiththe
smallblessings,allright,"hemurmuredwickedly.Shehalfturnedintheseattoglareathim,andhe
chuckledatherfury."God,you'resomethingwhenyougetmad,"hesaidwithraremischief."All
darkeyesandwildhairandteethandclaws.Itsureashellbeatsthatso-elegantcoolnessyouwear
aroundyoumostofthetime."Sheregainedhercomposurewithaneffortandstaredathimcalmly.
"Mymotherraisedmetobealady,"shetoldhim."You'rethat,"heagreedcoldly."Butyou'dbeahell
ofalotmoreexcitingifshe'draisedyoutobeawoman,instead."

Therewasnoreplytoablatantremarklikethat,sosheturnedherattentionbacktothedarkened
landscapeandignoredhim.Whichseemedtobeexactlywhathewanted.ChapterThree

AggieLopez,Jude'shousekeeper,mettheminherdressinggown,yawning."IsBess'sroomready?"
Judeasked!curtly."Yes,SenorLangston,"Aggiesaidagreeably,givingBessabriefbutthorough
appraisal.Thenshegrinned."Youneed;somefeedingup,senorita.Afewweeksofrefritosand
enchiladasandmygoodTexaschiliwillputmeatonthosebones,Ipromiseyou.Come,Iwilltake
youuptoyourroomandthenI'llbringyousomefood.Thelittleonehasonlyjustgonetosleep.She
wassoexcited...!"

"Butit'saftermidnight,"Bessexclaimed."Goahead,"Judegrowled,glaringatherwithpiercing
greeneyes,"saysomethingaboutherbedtimehour.You'vemanagedtodisapproveofeveryother
damnedthing,whynotthataswell?"Sheglaredbackathim,herchinlifted."Childrenneedtheirrest
justlikeadultsdo,"shethrewathim."Andspeakingofrest,lookatyou!""What'swrongwithme?"
heaskedpugnaciously.''Oh,Lord,justgivemeafulldaywithnointerruptionsandI'llbegladto
giveyouanitemizedlist!"Aggiewasstaringatthemwithherjawinaslightlydroopingposture,her
small,plumpfiguregluedtothebanisterofthelongstaircasethatranuptothesecondstory.Jude
glancedatAggie."Well,whatthehellareyougapingat?Areyougoingtoshowherupstairsornot?"
!"Youare...reallygettingmarried?"theolderwomanasked,liftinghereyebrowsuntiltheyalmost
touchedthesalt-and-pepperhairthatwasdrawnintoatightbun."It'salovematch,too,"Bessassured
herwithatightsmileatJude."HelovesmystocksandIlovehisdaughter."Judesaidsomethingrude
underhisbreathandturnedonhisheeltostompoffintohisstudy.Heslammedthedoorwith
hurricaneforcebehindhim.Aggieflinched."Somedayhewillbreakallthewindows,"shesaid,
sighing."Ay,aylifeissoexcitingsinceIcametoworkhere.SheeyedBess."Itisnoneofmyaffair,
youunderstand,butyouarenotthepictureofahappybride.""Idon'twanttobeabride,"she
muttered.''He'stryingtomakeme.''"AsIthought,"Aggiesaid.Sheshookherhead."Iwillnotask
whyyoudonotrefusehim.SixmonthsIhaveworkedforMr.Langston.inthattime,Ihavenever
knownhimnottogethisownway.Haveyouknownhimlong,senorita?""I'veknownhimmostof
mylife,"Bestgrumbledasshefollowedtheolderwomanupthestaircase.

"ThenIdonotneedtotellyouanythingabouthim,"Aggiesaidquietly.SheglancedatBessasshe
stoppedinfrontoftheroomwhereBessalwaysstayedwhenshevisitedtheranch."Hesaidthatyou
havelostyourmother.Iamverysorry."TearswelledupinBess'seyesandherlowerliptrembled
precariously."Yes."Impulsively,Aggieputanarmaroundher."Senorita,griefpasses.I,too,lostmy
mothermanyyearsago.Idonotforgetthehurt,buttimeiskind."Bessnoddedjerkilyandtriedto
smile."Here,now.Katyinsistedonredecoratingtheroomwhensheheardyouwerecoming."Aggie
ledBessintothespaciousroom,Whichboastedanewbedspreadandmatchingcurtainsofcreamwith
beigeandblueflowers,adeepbluecarpetandelegantwallpaper.Therewerefreshflowers,mums,in
aonthechestofdrawers."It'sbeautiful!"Bessburstout."Oh,Ihopedyou'dlikeit!"cameajoyous
voicefromtheconnectingdooracrosstheroom.

Bess'seyeslitup.''Katy!"sheexclaimed,'andheldoutherarms.Katyranintothem,laughing.She
wastheimageofherfatherpalegreeneyesframedbyblackhairandastubbornsquarejaw.Shewas
goingtobetall,too.ShealreadycameupalmosttoBess'sshoulder."Yousmellnice,"Katyremarked
asshedrewbacktolookattheolderwoman."Likeflowers.Youalwayssmellsogood,Bess!""I'm
gladyouthinkso,"Besssaidwithagrin."How'sschool?"Katymadeaface."IhatemathandEnglish
grammar.Butbandisgreat.Iplaytheflute!AndIlikechorusprettywell,andartclassisneat.""I'd
lovetohearyouplay,"Besssaid.Sheruffledtheshortdarkhair."You'rethenicestwelcomeI'vehad
sofar.""BeenatitwithDadagain,huh?"Katymurmuredwithawickedsmile."Iheard,"she
confessed.Besscoloreddelicately."We,uh,hadaslightdisagreement."

"Theyhaveslightdisagreementsoverthecolorofthesky,"KatytoldAggiewithoutblinkinganeye,
andshelaughed."DadlikestogiveordersandBessdoesn'tliketotakethem.""Now,Katy..."Bess
began."Iknow.'Now,Katy,mindyourownbusiness.'"Katysighed.Shearchedhereyebrows."But
you'regoingtobemymom,soitiskindofmybusiness,isn'tit?"Atthesoundoftheword,Bess's
eyesglitteredagainwithunshedtears.Shewasgoingtohavetostopthis!"Oh,I'msorry,"Katysaid
quickly,afteraspeakingglarefromAggie."I'mverysorry,Iforgot!""It'sallright,"Besssaid,
brushingawaythetears."It'sjustsofresh,youknow.Ilovedherverymuch.""Ineverknewmy
mother,"Katysaid,"butDadsaidshewasafirst-classbit--""No!"Aggieburstout,horrified."You
mustnotsaysuchthings!"Katy'slipspouted."Daddoes."

"Yes,butyoushouldn'tspeakthatwayyourmother,"Besssaidgently."Besides,ladiesdon'tuse
languagelikethat."Katyjuststaredatherblankly."Huh?""You'llhavetoshowmearoundtheranch
tomorrow,"Besssaidquickly,decidingtoletitdropforthetimebeing."It'smorethanayearsinceI
visited.I'msuretherearealotofchanges."ThatbroughtthesmilebacktoKaty'syoungface."You
bet!Unless...youwouldn'tratherDadshowedyouaround?"sheaskedwithacalculatinglook,and
BessknewshewasthinkingaboutthatdreadfullieJudehadtoldher."Hecanshowmearoundlater,"
Besspromisedtheyounggirl."Now,howaboutbed?I'msosleepyIcanhardlystandup.""Whereare
yourthings,senorita,andIwillunpack,"Aggievolunteered."I'mwearingthem,"Besssaidgaily,
openinghercoattodisclosethedressunderneath."JudedecidedthatIcoulddowithoutclothes,
makeup,andallthoseotherfrivolousthings."

Aggiescowled."Iwilllendyouoneofmygowns,"shesaid."Men,theyneverthinkaboutthese
things,"shemutteredasshewentoutthedoor.Katywaswatchingherclosely."Whydidn'tyoupacka
suitcase?"sheaskedslowly."BecauseyourfatherpickedmeupinwhatIhaveonandcarriedme
bodilyoutthedoor,that'swhy,"shesaid.Katytriedtostiflealaugh,butitburstoutanyway."Good
night,Bess!"shesaid,andteatahastyretreatbacktoherownroom,closingthedoorquickly.Behind
it,therewashystericallaughter.BesshadforgottenjusthowbigBigMesquitereallywasuntilshe
walkedaroundthegroundswithKatythenextday.Thehouse,whichshe'dalwaysloved,wasveryold
andveryVictorian,withaturretandexquisitegingerbreadwoodwork.Judehadobviouslyhadit
paintednottoomanymonthsago,becauseitwasblisteringwhite."Iremembersummerslongago
whenIusedtoswinginthatfrontporchswing,"Bessrecalleddreamily,hangingontoasmall
mimosatreeinthefrontyardasshestaredtowardthehouse."Andyourgrandmotherwouldmake
icedteaandbig,thicktomatosandwichesandI'dswingandmunch.""DidyouandDadusedtoplay
together?"Katyasked,alleyes."No,darling,"Besssaid,laughing."Yourfatherwasalreadyagrown
manwhenIwasbarelyinmyteens.Ihardlyeversawhiminthosedays.Hewasawayatcollege,and
theninVietnam.""Oh,yes,Iknowallaboutthewar,"Katysaidseriously."Dad'sgotanawful--"
"Katy!"Aggiecalledoutthedoor."Deannewantstotalktoyouonthetelephone!""Okay,Aggie!"
Katymovedawayfromthetree."Deanne'smybestfriend,"sheexplained."Iwon'tbelong.""Don't
hurryonmyaccount,"Besstoldher."I'lljustramblearoundandlookatthestock.""Don'tgocloseto
thecorral.Dad'sgotBlanketinthere,"theyounggirlcautioned."Whataname.Doesitbelongtoa
bull?"

"No,ahorse."Katylaughed."Theycallherthatbecauseshelikestofallonpeople--likeablanket."
"I'llwatchmystep,"Besspromised.KatyranintothehouseandBesswanderedquietlyaroundthe
yardinthesamejerseydressshe'dwornthedaybefore.ShehadoneofJude'sWindbreakerswrapped
aroundherselftokeepoutthecold,andshehatedthepleasureitgavehertowearsomethingofhis.
Shewasreallygoingtohavetostopfeelingthatway.Ifheeverfoundouthowheaffectedher,it
couldbeadisaster,inmorewaysthanone.Asshewasthinkingabouthim,hecameoutofthebarn
withahalterinhishand,headingstraightforBlanket.Bessclimbeduponthefenceandleanedher
armsoverthetoprail."Goingtobouncearoundalittle?"sheasked."Don'tfalloff,now.""No,I'm
notgoingtobouncearound,"hesaidcurtly."I'mgoingtoputheronahaltersoBandycanworkher."
Shewatchedhimapproachthehorse,talkingsoftlyandgentlytoitinatoneshe'dneverheardhim
useexcept,infrequently,withKaty.Hemovedcloserinchbyinch,soothingthehorse,untilhewas
nearenoughtoeasethehalteroverthejetblackmuzzleandlockitinplace.Hecontinuedtostroke
thesilkyblackmanewhilethehorsetrembledinthechillair,notfromcoldbutfromnervousness.
Bessdidn'tspeak.Shedidn'tdare.Judewouldclimballoverherifshespookedthehorse.Buthe
glancedatherwarilywhenthelittlebowleggedcowboynamedBandycameoutofthebarnwitha
lungingreintoattachtothehalter.Judesaidsomethingtothecowboyandthenclimbedoverthe
fence,perchinghimselfonthetoprailnearBess.Hewaswearingdenimsandtheoldbatteredgray
Stetsonheusedontherareoccasionswhenhewasaroundtheranch.Helookedgoodindenim.He
lookedgoodinanything,thatlong,muscularbodysheerelegancewhenhemoved."Don'ttrusther
toofar,Bandy,"Judesaidashelitacigarette.HeglancedatBess.

"She'salotlikesomewomen.Alllonglegsandnerves."Herchinlifted.She'dputupherhairtokeep
itoutofherface,andshelookedchicandeleganteveninhisleatherjacket."Wheredidyougetthat?"
heasked,indicatingthejacket."Aggiegotitoutforme,"shesaiddefensively."Youwouldn'tletme
pack,"sheremindedhim."Itdoesn'tdomuchforyou,"heremarkedderisively."Itkeepsmewarm,"
shereturned."Butifyouwantitback...""Oh,hell,stopplayingJoanofArc,"hegrowled,hisgreen
eyesglitteringatheroverawispofcigarettesmoke."It'sanoldjacket.IhaditwhenIwasin
Vietnam."Andprobablyitbroughtbackmemorieshe'drathernotdredgeup,shethought,feeling
guilty.Sheavertedhereyestothecowboyworkingtheyoungfillyontheleadingreininalong,wide
circle."Youdidn'thitthefloorscreamingbloodymurderthismorning,"heremarked."Doesthat
meanyou'vestoppedfightingtheideaofmarriage?"Shedrewonelong,polishedfingernailacross
thetoprailofthefenceandwatcheditscartheoldwood."Katywassoexcited,"shesaidquietly."Yes,
Itoldyouthat."Herdarkeyespinnedhim."Idon'tlikeyouverymuch,JudahBarnettLangston,"she
said.Hetookalongdrawfromthecigaretteandpursedhischiseledlips."Whatadisappointment,"he
saidafteraminute,andhiseyesweremocking."Ithoughtyoumightbeharboringasecretpassion
forme.""Sorrytodashyourdreams,"shereplied."I'dratherlustafterarattlesnake."mHechuckled
softly,andhiscoldgreeneyeswanderedoverherslimnessslowly."You'dhavebetterluckthere,all
right,"heremarked."Hell,you'retoofragileforsex."Shegaspedattheunexpectedlyintimateremark
andfeltherfacegohot.Hiseyebrowsliftedatherexpression."Well,myGod,Idoknowwhatsexis,"
hesaid.

"Ididn'tsayaword,"shechewedoff."Youwerethinkingit,"hesaid.Hesmiledtauntingly."Ididn't
findKatyunderacabbageleaf."Hereyesfellawayfromhis.Thediscussionwasgettingfartoo

intimateforhertaste.Sheknewhardlyanythingaboutintimacyexceptforwhatshe'dread.Andthe
lastpersonshewantedtolearnthatkindoflessonfromwasJudeLangston.Shecouldn'tpicturehim
beingeitherpatientortenderwithawoman."IsKatymatchmaking?"heaskedafteraminute."She
desertedyou.""HerfriendDeannecalled,"shemurmured.Hescowled."Deanneisacitykid.Very
sophisticatedforherage.Idon'tlikeKatyassociatingwithher.""Why,becauseshewearsdresses?"
sheasked."IsKatygoingtoruntheranchforyouwhenshegrowsup,bullwhipandall?"Hejust
staredatheruntilshedroppedher

�yes.She'dneverbeenabletooutglarehim,notever,andit

rankled.

"Iwishshe'dbeenaboysometimes,"hesaid,surprisingher."Butthatwasn'therfault.""She'sgoing
onten,"shesaidquietly."Theageofpartiesandprettydressesandboysiscomingalongdownthe
road.Itwouldbesadifshewasexcludedfromallthosethingsbecauseshewastootoughtofitin.
Wouldn'tit?"Heglaredatherandthrewdownhiscigarette."Whydon'tyoumindyourown?damned
business?Goarrangesomeflowersorsomething.That'sallyou'regoodfor!"Hegotdownoffthe
fence,andtearsstunghereyesasshedidlikewise.Sheturnedonherheelandstompedbackoff
towardthehouse.Apiercingwhistlesplittheairandshestoppedandwhirled."What!"sheyelled."Go
intotownandgetsomeclothes.I'veopenedanaccountforyouatJoske's."Shecaughtherbreath.
Thingsweremovingfast.Toofast."Idon'twantany,thanks."

"Suityourself,"hesaidcarelessly."Ifyouwanttobemarriedinyourslip,it'syourbusiness."He
turnedbacktoBandy."I'mnotgoingtomarryyou!"sheyelledatMm."YouareifIcan'tfindanother
waytogetthoseshares!"Atthat,shealmostscoopeduparockandthrewitathim.ButsheknewJude
toowell,soshedidn't.Bytheendoftheweek,itwassadlyapparentthattherewerenoloopholesin
Bess'smother'swill.JudecameinFridayafternoonlookingasifhe'dliketotiehertoastakeand
roasther.Instead,heorderedherintothelivingroomandclosedthedoorbehindthem."There'sno
wayoutexceptmarriage,"hesaidwithoutdressingitup."Wecan'tbreakthewillunlesswecanprove
mentalincompetence,andyourfamilyattorneyassuresmethatwecan't.""No,"Besssaid,"shewasin
herrightmindupuntiltheveryend."Hepickedupabookonthetablebythewindowandabruptly
slammeditdownonthehighlypolishedsurface."Damnit,Ion'twantmarriage!"hecursed,glaring
atBess."Well,don'tblameme,"sheshotback."Ididn'tdragyouoffouthereandtrytoforceyouinto
it.I'djustassoonforgetthewholething!""SowouldI,butI'vegottohavethosedamnedshares,and
soon.It'snousefightingme,Bess."Herammedhishandsinthepocketsofhisgrayslacks."I'lltalkto
aministerabouttheceremony.WecanhaveitatSanJose,ifyoulike.""Atthemission?"sheasked.
Hereyesbrightenedalittle."Thatsoundsnice.""Thenyou'llagreetothemarriage?"heaskedquietly,
andsheknewhewasindeadlyearnest."Idon'tseemtohavemuchchoice,"shereplied."Andyou're
right--Katydoesneedawoman'stouch.AndIneedher.Idon'thaveanyoneelsetolovenowthat
Mother's..."Shebrokeoff,tryingdesperatelytokeepthetearsfromfalling."ShewasallthefamilyI
hadintheworld."Heturnedaway,obviouslyuncomfortableathershowofemotion."You'dbettergo
totheprinterandgetsomeinvitationssentout.I'llhavemysecretarymakeyoualistofpeopleto
invite."Heglancedather."Doyouwantyourstepsistertocome?""No,"shesaidwithoutthinking.He
laughedshortly."Somehow,Ididn'tthinkyouwould.Butyouoweherthecourtesyoftellingher
aboutthemarriage.Sheisyouronlylivingrelative.""Iwill."Severalweeksfromnow,sheadded
silently.Hestudiedher."Youdon'tlikeCrystal,doyou?'"Neitherwouldyou,ifshedidn'tworshipthe

groundyouwalkon,''shesaidwithbittersarcasm."Crystal'smainambitioninlifeistokeepCrystal
happyandcomfortable.Butmendon'tnoticethatveryoften.""No,"heagreed,"they'retoobusy
noticinghowmuchwomansheis."HiseyeswentupanddownBess'sslenderfigure."Sheputsyouin
theshade,doesn'tshe?"Notfortheworldwouldshehavelethimseehowmuchthathurt.Shesmiled
coollyandturnedtoleavetheroom.

"Soproud,"hechided."Sopoised.Doesanythingeverruffleyou,societygirl?I'llbetyou'dbethat
wayinbedwithaman,allcooldisciplineand--""Stopthat,"shebitout,glaringathim."HowI'dbeis
noneofyourbusiness."Shestopped,hereyesuncertain.Helaughedshortlyashereadthefearin
them."Don'tgetyourhopesup,Bess.Youdon'tturnmeon.Itwon'tbeamarriageinthatrespect."
"ThankGod,"shemuttered,openingthedoorwithherbacktohimsohecouldn'tseeherhotcheeks.
"Ican'timagineyoublazingwithpassion,"hesaidthoughtfully."Somewomenareborncold,I
expect."Sheclosedthedoorsharplybehindherandwenttoherroombeforehecouldseethetears
thatrefusedtobeheldatbayanylonger.TwodayslaterBessandKatymadeatripintoSanAntonio.
Joske's,whereJudehadsetupanaccount,wasoneofthebiggestdepartmentstoresintown,crammed
fullofdeliciousclothesandaccessories.Bess,determinedtomakethebestofthesituation,threw
herselfintotryingtodecidewhatshewanted.Katylookedboredwiththewholething,andwantedto
stayoutintheparkinglotacrossthestreetwithBandy,who'dbeenvolunteeredtodrivethemtotown.

"ButIhavetohavehelp,"Besshadprotested.''It'spartlyyourwedding,too.Afterall,you'regoingto
bebridesmaid."Thathadcaughttheyounggirl'sinterestmomentarily,butafterBesshadworkedher
waythroughhalfthedressdepartment,Katywasgettingrestless.Oneofthesalesladiesfinally
suggestedadresswithaMexicanflavor,agauzywhitecreationwithhand-crochetedlacearoundthe
neckandtheshortpuffysleevesandaroundthebottom.Itwaslikeapeasantdress,butexquisite.
Perfect.WhenBesstrieditonandposedforKaty,theyounggirlcaughtherbreath."Blondessure
lookgoodinwhite,"Katysaidwithasmile."Gosh,you'repretty,Bess!""Thankyou,darling.Now,"
shesaid,"nextwe'vegottofindsomethingforyou."

Katyprotestedloudly,butBesswasstubborn.Finally,moretogetoutofthestore;thanforanyother
reason,Katydecidedonafrillybluedress.Bessboughtherapalebluevelvetribbontowearwithit,
andwhiteshoesandadaintybagandgloves."Everybodywilllaughatme,"Katy1wailed."Notin
church,"Bessassuredher."Besides,it'sgoingtobeinoneoftheoldmissions."Katyfrowned
slightly."Itis?""Yourfathersaidso.""Well."Katybrightened."Itmightnotbetoobadafterall."I
hope,Besssaidsilently.Shecouldn'timagineherselfandJudeevergettingalong!together.She
wonderedhowKatywasgoingtoreacttolivinginaconstantstateofwar.Butoddlyenough,thelittle
girlseemedtobemoreamusedthandisturbedbythewarringadults."Whatdidyoubuy?"Judeasked
thatafternoonwhenhecamebackfromabudgetmeetingatacollegewherebewasatrustee.

"AwhiteMexicandress,"KatysaidbeforeBesscould."AndIhavetowearablueonewithyucklace,''
sheaddedmiserably."Gosh,couldn'tIwearmybootsandjeans?""Afraidnot,tiger,"Judesaid."But

youcanalwaysputthemonafterit'sover.""Iguess."Shegotupfromthetable."Well,I'dbetterget
myhomeworkdone,Iguess.Ihateschool.Can'tIquit?""Sure,"Judeagreed."Whenyou'reeighteen
orgetyourdiploma,whichevercomesfirst."Katystuckouthertongueathimandwentupstairs.
"Showmethedress,"Judesaidunexpectedly."I'llbringitdown.""Wearit."Sheglaredathim."It's
badluck."Hedrewinadeepbreath."IguesshavingtomarryyouisallIneedofthat,"hereplied.She
raisedherhandandhesitated.

"Goahead,"hesaidwithaninsolentsmile,staringather."Butyouwon'tlikehowIgeteven."Her
handfellandsheleft.Hewasstilldrinkingcoffeewhenshecamebackdownwiththedressoverone
arm.Sheheldituptoherselfandlethimscanitwithcold,bardeyes."White?"hescoffed,hisgreen
eyespiercing.Herchinrose."Idorealizethatinthispermissiveage,anythinggoes.ButIstillhave
therighttoawhiteweddinggown,andI'mwearingone."Hefrownedslightly,searchinghereyes.
"You'reavirgin?""Well,don'tfaint,"shesaidcurtly."Thereareafewofusleft!''"IsupposeIshould
haverealizedit."Hesighed."You'resodamnedcontrolled.""Saidthepottothekettle,"sheagreed.
Hereyesranupanddownhimcoldly."ThankGodIdon'thavetosleepwithyou."Sheturnedtoleave
theroom,buthewasonhisfeetbeforeshecompletedthemotion.Hecaughtherarmandjerkedher
aroundwithagriphardenoughtohurt,andpulledhersoclosethatshecouldseethedarkgreen
circlesaroundhispalegreenirises."Pushalittleharder,societygirl,"hesaidharshly,"andseewhat
happens.""You'rehurtingme,"shewhispered,shakenbythesudden,viciousmotionofhisfingers.
"Youcut,too,inyourownway,"hereplied.Hisnostrilswereflaredwithanger,andhiseyeswere
gutteringinawaythatwasalittlefrightening."Youstartedit,"shesaidchildishly,clutchingthe
weddingdressinonehand.Hesighedheavilyandthehandonherarmslackenedalittle."IguessI
did."Hesearchedherfaceforalongtime."Yousetmeoff,Bess.Youalwayshave.""Idorealizethat
you'dratherdiethanhavetomarryme,"shesaidtightly."Ihopeyourealizethatthesamethinggoes
forme,double.ButitmightbeagoodideaforKaty'ssaketotryandgetalong.""Iam,"hesaid.

"Withme!""Thatpresentsaproblem."Henoticedhishandonherupperarmandseemedfascinated
withit.Hedrewhisfingerssoftlydowntoherelbow,feelingthewarmthofherskin,andhefrowned.
"MyGod,you'rethin.""It'sfashionable,"shesaidtightly,disturbedbythatslow,caressingmotionthat
heseemedhardlyawareof."Soissex,"hereturned,catchinghereyes."Butyouhaven'tfollowedthe
crowdinthatrespect.Ifyou'retellingthetruth."Hedroppedherarm."Frankly,itdoesn'tmattertome
onewayortheother,sinceI'llneverbeconcernedwithyourvirtueoryourlackofit.Thisisa
merger.""Socold-blooded,Mr.Langston,"shesaidunderherbreath,herpridestingingatwhathe'd
said."Andsohard.You'rearawhideman.""Sticksandstones,lady,"hesaidcarelessly."Bytheway,
Katydoesn'tlikegoingtobedateight."HemusthavenoticedthenewhoursBesshadimplemented.
"Shetoldmeso."

Heliftedaneyebrow."Butshe'sstilldoingit.""Asyousaidonce,shelikesme,"shetoldhimsmugly.
Hestartedtospeakbutsheglareduntilhechangedhismind.Hejerkedoffhistieandopenedthetop
buttonofhisshirtwithahardsigh."Wantadrink,debutante?""Idon't-""Drink,"hesaidforher,
glancingoverhisshoulder."Ishouldhaverememberedthat.Nobooze,nosex,nobadhabits...allthe
virtuesofasaint."Hewanderedoffintohisstudywithoutanotherwordandclosedthedoor.Without

understandingherownactions,shepickedupasmallearthenwarepotfromaplanterinthehalland
threwitstraightatthecenterofthedoor.Itdisintegratedwithapleasinglyloudsmash.Judejerked
openthedoorandglaredather,hiseyesfallingtothepolishedwoodfloor.Hiseyebrowsrose.
"Plantingagarden?Aren'tyouafewmonthsearlyandinthewrongspot?"

"IknowsomethingI'dliketoplant,"shereturned,andhereyesmeasuredhimfromheadtotoe.She
drapedtheweddinggownacrossthebanisterandbenttopickuptheshardsofpottery.Hebenttohelp
herandtheirheadscollided.Hecaughthershoulderstostopherfrompitchingoverbackwardand
heldherinfrontofhim.Shelookedintohiseyesatpoint-blankrangeandtimeexploded.Shecould
feelhisbreathonhermouth,hewassoclose;shecouldsmelltheexpensivecolognehewore.Itwas
likeadance.Theybothrosetogethertotheirfeet,withhislean,hardhandsgrippinghershoulders.
Hiseyessearchedhers,andhisthumbsmadewildpatternsontheinsidesofhershouldersasthey
movedinvoluntarily,findingthesmoothskinunderthebeigetopshe'dboughttogowithmatching
slacks.Hisdarkeningeyeswentslowlydowntohermouthasherswenttohis.Hislipspartedandshe
couldseetheirchiseledperfection,thehard,firmlinesofthemwiththefaintdarknessabovethe
upperonewhereheneededashave.Itwasexcitingtofeelhisbreathminglingwithherown,toseehis
mouthsoclosetohers.Foralong,longtimeshe'dwonderedhowitwouldfeelifhekissedher.Part
ofherhadfearedit,butanotherpartwashungryforit.Hishandsuddenlycaughtthethickbunofher
hairandpulledherheadback.Hiseyesglittereddownather;hisnostrilsflared.Hewaswatchingher
mouthwithanunblinkingintensity,andhisfingersonhershoulderandinherhairwerehurting.But
shecouldfeelthelong,hardlineofhisbodyagainsthersanditfiredahungershe'dneverfeltbefore.
Justthetouchofhimmadeherweakandshaky,andshecouldn'tgetherbreath.Hecouldn'teither,if
hisraspybreathingwasanyindication.Hemutteredsomethingandabruptlybenthishead.Butevenas
hismouthwasopeningtotakehardpossessionofherown,Katy'svoiceburstoutfromthetopofthe
staircase."Holycow,whathappened?"Judejerkedasifhe'dbeenhit,almostthrowingBessaway
fromhim.Sheturnedandpickedupherweddinggown,feelingshakenandconfusedandmorethana
littleangryatherownresponses."Yourmother-to-bewasplantingflowers,"Judesaidcurtly.He
turnedandwentbackintohisstudywithahard,darkglareatBess.Asifitwereherfault,shethought
wildly.Aggiecamein,andBessranforit,dressinhandandwatchedbyagigglingKaty.Besskept
outofJude'swaythenextday,buthewasathomeandhiseyeswatchedheraccusingly.Sheknewhe
wasn'tgoingtoletherescapesoeasily,butshestillwasn'tquitepreparedforwhathappened.Katyhad
goneouttogroomhercalfandAggiewaswalkingonlunchwhenJudestrodeangrilyintotheliving
roomwhereshewasbusyaddressinginvitationsforthewedding."There'ssomethingyouandIneed
togetstraight,"hesaid,ramminghishandsintothepocketsofhisslacks,lookingsodarkly
handsomethatshehatedthesightofhim."Idon'tlikehavingflowerpotsflungatmyhead."

Shefelttheaccusationallthewaytohertoesandherbodytingledwhenshemethiseyes."Ibegyour
pardon?"sheaskedstiffly."Don'tbehaughty,itwon'twash."Hemovedcloser,sothathewaslooming
overher."Youthrewthatpotdeliberately.""SowhatifIdid?"shesaidcurtly."Ineedyourdamned
sharesinmycorporation.That'swhywe'regettingmarried,remember?""That'swhyyou'regetting
married,"shesaid,straighteningaspridecametoherrescue."I'mgettingmarriedforKaty."He
noddedslowly."Okay.Let'sleaveitlikethat.Nocomplications.""I..."Shedroppedhereyestohis
chest,wherethegraypatternedknitshirtheworestrainedacrosshispowerfulmuscles.Underitwasa

shadow,andshewonderedabsentlyifhewashairyorsmooththere."Youwhat?"heasked."Ididn't
meanthattohappen,outinthehall.Youjustmakemesomad,Jude,"shesaidhelplessly,lookingup
intohiseyes.

"We'vealwaysmadesparkstogether,"heagreed.Hiseyesnarrowed."Butit'sgottostop.""Thenquit
baitingme,"shereturned."Treatmelikeahumanbeinginsteadofsomefesteringthorn.""Isthathow
Itreatyou?"heasked."IthoughtIwasbeingkind.Forme,"headdedwithahardlaugh."Idon't
imagineyoucanhelpbeingthewayyouare,"shesaidquietly,avoidinghiseyes."Doyouthinkyou
understandme,missdebutante?"heaskedwithamockinglaugh"Byallmeans,tellmeaboutmyself."
Hereyesmethisandwentbacktoherlist.Iwouldn'tpresumethatfar.''"Idon'thavemuchrespectfor
women,that'swhatyoumeant,"hesaid,bendingheadtolightacigarette."Katy'smothertaughtmea
lotaboutthem.""Allthebadthingsandnoneofgood,"Bessargued."AndhowcouldyoutellKaty
thathermotherwasa..."clearedherthroat."Can'tyousaytheword?Woulditsoilyourelitisttongue
tosayit?"hetaunted."Anyway,itwascrueltosayitinfrontofKaty.Agirlneedsatleasttheillusion
ofamother,andyou'verobbedherofhers,"shereturned."She'sdead,afterall.Shecan'tharmKaty."
"Hermemorycould,"hesaidflatly,hiseyesglittering."Iwon'tdiscussElisewithyou.""I'mnot
askingyouto,"shesaid,avoidinghisgaze."Butitwouldbekindifyoucouldstopsayinghorrible
thingsabouthertoKaty.""Ican'ttalktoyou,"hegroundout."EverythingIsaywindsupbeing
defensive.""Pardonmeforbreathing,"shesaidcalmly."Damnyou...!"Shejerkedatthehotwhipof
hisdeepvoice,andpushedherselfbackintothecushions,crushingthelistshewasfollowinginone
hand.Hetookadeepdragfromthecigarette."Youmakemybloodrunhot,"hesaidsavagely."I've
neverinmylifewantedtohitawomanasmuchasI'dliketohityou,sodon'tpressyourluck!"She
didn'tsayaword.Inthatwhite-hotanger,hewasmorefrighteningthanever.Shesat,stiff-backed,and
triednottobackdown.Hestudiedherpalefaceforalongtime."You'reafraidofme,aren'tyou?"he
askedsuddenly.Hiseyesnarrowed."Yes,Ithinkyouare.That'swhyyou'resomuchontheoffensive
withme.Offenseisthebestdefense,isthathowyouseeit?"Hesawaltogethertoomuch.Herattled
her.Sheputthelistasideandstoodup,movingquicklyoutofhisreach."IneedtohelpAggie,"she
saidnervously."No,youdon't.Youjustneedtorunoffandhide."Herlowerliptrembledbetrayingly
asshelookedathimfromthesafetyofthedoor."I'llbecarefultokeepmythoughtstomyselffrom
nowon,"shesaidwithdignity."Willthatsatisfyyou?"Hefrownedandstudiedher."Youareafraid,"
hesaid,asifitshockedhim.

Sheturnedandranoutthedoor,slammingitquicklybehindher.Afterthat,hewasstrangelyquiet
aroundher.Butwatchful,andfaintlycalculating.Itmadehermorenervousthanever.Meanwhile,she
wasreacquaintingherselfwiththeranchandlovingeverymileofitsawesomespread.Katyhadtold
herthatwildflowersbloomedprofuselyinthespring--Besshadneverbeenthereatthattimeofyear--
bluebellsandIndianpaintbrushandIndianblanket,pricklypoppiesonthecactus,andmaypopand
lantana.Therewouldbebeautifulyellowblack-eyedSusanswithblackcenters,andMexicanhatswith
theirfestiveyellow-fringedredpetalsaroundtallblackcenters.Rightnow,though,itwaswinterand
nothingwasbloomingexceptBess'sgrowingbutreluctantattractiontoJude.Shefoundherself
staringathimwhenhedidn'tseeher,hereyesgluedtohistall,powerfulfigureashewalkedaround
theranchandthehouse.Itwasgrowingincreasinglyhardernottostareathimoverthedinnertable.
Andallthetime,helookedatherwiththatstrange,calculatingexpression.

Ontheirweddingday,shedressedinthewhitegown,butwithallheruncertaintiesshowinginher
eyes.Wasshedoingtherightthing?Wasitsanetolethimforceherintoamarriagethatmight
destroyher?Shewasafraidofhim,allright,butnotforthereasonshethought.Shewasafraid
becauseshewantedhim.Thatwildencounterinthehallhadshownherjusthowmuchshewanted
him.Buthedidn'twantanythingfromherexcepthershares.He'dmadethatperfectlyclear.Couldshe
risklivinginsuchcloseproximitytohimandgofromdaytodaywithoutlettingeverythingshefelt
show?Hewasshrewd,andhecouldreadrocks,muchlessBess.Andifhefoundout,everytimethey
arguedhewouldtauntherwithherweaknessforhim.Shealmostwentdownstairsandbackedoutof
it.Butitwasfartoolate.Theguests,friendsofJude'sandmembersoftheLangstonfamily,were
alreadywaitingforthematthelittleSpanishmissionoutsideSanAntonio.Sowhatcouldshedobut
gothroughwithitandhopeforthebest?Butshefeltemptyinawayevenhermother'sdeathhadn't
madeherfeel.TolivewithamanlikeJudewasgoingtobeadailyordeal.Oneshewasalreadyhalf
dreading,halfanticipatingasshegatheredthebouquetofwhiteandpinksilkrosesKatyhadchosen,
andwentdownthestaircase.

ChapterFour

ThemissionSanJoseySanMigueldeAguayoliveduptoitsnickname,theQueenofTexasmissions.
Thetowering,imposingstonestructurehadagraceofdesignandasenseofhistorythatmadeBess
tingleassheentereditonthearmofJude'sneighborAdamTeague,atoweringgray-headedman
she'dknownforyearswho'dagreedtostandinforBess'slatefather.Therewereredandwhite
poinsettiasallaroundthealtar,anditwastrulytheseasonforthemwithChristmasonlytwoweeks
away.BesshadalmostaskedJudetopostponetheceremonyuntilthen,buthewasimpatienttogain
controlofthesharesandshe'dknownhe'donlyrefuse.He'dhiredMexicanmariachistoprovidean
evenmoreSpanishflavortotheceremony,andBessthoughtshe'dneverheardanythingsobeautiful
asthe"WeddingMarch"playedondozensofthrobbing,romanticguitarstrings.Themusicechoed
harmonicallyintheinteriorofthechurchasBesswalkedstifflybesideTeaguetothealtar,underthe
vaultedceilinganddome.Thethreevaultsofthenavewereoutlinedinbeautiful,richhues,butBess's
eyesneversawthem,rivetedastheyweretoJude'stallfigureinasomberbluepin-stripedsuitwitha
whitecarnationinthelapel.Herheartleaptwildlyashisheadturnedandhestaredatherwithcold
greeneyes.Inspiteoftheromanticsetting,hewashatingeveryminuteofthis.Hiseyestoldherso.

TeagueleftherbesideJudeandsatdown.BessstoodrigidlyatJude'sside,trembling,andonlyhalf
heardthebriefceremony.ShewasonlyvaguelyawareofKatystandingupwiththem,ofthefaint
movementsoftheguestsinthepews.Therewasasmellofstoneanddustandthedayswhenthis
missionwasabastionofcivilizationinanuncivilizedland.Thewordstheministerspokeechoed
aroundtheinteriorofthechurch,asothervowsmusthaveechoedoverthetwocenturiesofthe
mission'sexistence.Judeslippedaringontoherfinger.Morewordswerespoken.Shesaidtwoof
them.Judebenttotouchhiscoldmouthtoherlipsintheirfirstkissasmanandwife--soremoved
fromtheheatedconfrontationinthehallwhenhe'dlookedasifhe'dkillforhermouth.Andthey

weremarried.SheheardthemariachisbegintoplayasJudeledherouttothechurchstepswherethe
guestswerewaitingwithrice.Therice]stung.Shewascoldbecausethebeautifulwhitedresswasn't
meantforwarmthonacoolDecemberday.Butshelaughedand!pretendedthatitwasthehappiest
momentofherlifeasshecrawledintotheblackMercedeswithJudeandKaty.Theydrovetoward
home,andhereyesturnedbackforalastglimpseofthemissioncomplex.Nowthatitwasallover,
shewishedshecouldgobackandreallyseethehistoricshrine."We'llcomebackagainsomedayand
youcanseetherosewindow,Bess,"Katypromised.Sheblushed."Imean,Mother."Besscaughther
breathasshelookedovertheseatatKaty,whosefacewasradiant."Ilikethat,"shetoldtheyounggirl
withaffection."Oh,Ilikethatverymuch.Itsoundsjustright.""Itsoundsabsurd,"Judesnapped,
glaringatbothofthem."Sheisn'tyourmother."Katy'slowerhptrembledandshelookeddown."Yes,
sir."HereyeswenttoBess."Congratulationsanyway...Bess.""Thankyou,"Besssaid,ignoringJude's
deliberatecruelty.Therewouldbeplentyoftimelatertotellthesweetmanwhatacrude,unbearable,
insensitiveasshewas.Butinthedaysthatfollowed,Judemadeapointofstayingawayfromthe
house.IfhesawBessatall,itwasrarely,andhemadenoattempttocomenearheratnight.
Apparentlyhe'dmeantexactlywhathe'dsaidabouttheirmarriage.Itwastobeamerger,period,with
nointimacyofanykind.Besswasalmostrelieved;itpreventedanymoreofthehorrible
confrontationsthathadoccurredbeforetheirwedding.Withplentyoftimeonherhands,she
concentratedonpreparationsforChristmas."Weneverhaveatreeoranything,"Katysaidsadlywhen
Bessstartedtalkingaboutwheretoputone."There'snoSantaClaus,soDaddysaysit'sjustabunchof
nonsense."Besswashorrified.ShestoodinthemiddleofthefloorgapingatKaty."But,darling,don't
youknowwhatChristmasmeans?"Katyshifteduncomfortably."Theteachertellsusaboutit,"she
murmured."Butdon'tyougotochurchonChristmasEveand...?"Katylookedevenmore
uncomfortable."Daddysays--""Daddysaysentirelytoomuch,"Bessburstout,darkeyesflashing.
"Now,Katy,we'regoingtohaveatreeandpresents,atleastfromeachother,"shesaidfirmly."And
youandIaregoingtotheChristmas

Eveserviceatchurch,whetherornotyourfathergoeswithus.AndAggieandIaregoingtofixa
turkeywithallthetrimmings,andwe'regoingtohaveChristmas."Katy'seyessparkledandsheburst
outlaughing."Oh,Bess,youmakeitsoundsowonderful."Thenthesmilefadedandbecame
bittersweet."ButDaddywon'tletyou,I'mafraid."

"We'llsee,"shesaidfirmly."Now."Sheturnedherattentionbacktothelivingroomandpursedher
lips.Itwasamassiveroom,andthereweredoublewindowsfacingtheporch,whichinturnfacedthe
road."We'llputitrightthere,"shedecided,"sothatitcanbeseenoutside.Doyouhaveornamentsor
decorations?"Katyshookherhead.Bessfrowned."Haven'tyoueverhadatree?"Katyshookherhead
again.She'dbarbecueJade,Bessdecided.OveranopenpitonChristmasdaywithanappleinhis
mouth."We'llgotothestore,then,"Besssaid."Getasweater.AfterIspeaktoyourfather,I'llgetone
ofthecowboystodriveusintotowntogetatreeandornamentsandthings.""Youwill?""Icertainly
will."BesspulledonJude'sleatherjacketandwentouttofindhim.Shefoundhiminthebarntalking
withoneofhismen,andBesswaitedpatientlyuntilhefinished,enjoyingthenipintheair.Hecame
outaminutelater,wearingdarkslackswithawhitepulloversweaterandasheepskinjacketthatmust
havecosttheearth.HestoppedintheactoflightingacigaretteandstaredatBess."Didyouwant
something,Mrs.Langston?"heaskedwithdeliberatesarcasm,hisgreeneyesalivewithit."Yes,Mr.

Langston,Idid,"shesaidimperturbably."IwantyoutohavesomeoneIdriveustotownsothatIcan
buyaChristmastreeandsomethingtogoonit.""No,"hesaidcoldly."Notinmyhouse."Shehad
realizedalreadythatitwasgoingtotakeafight.Shewasprepared.Sheliftedherheadwiththeblond
haircoiledhaughtilyatopitandstaredathim.

"Beforewemarried,youagreedweshouldtrytogetalong,didn'tyou?"sheasked."Ihaven'tasked
anythingofyouupuntilnow.Notonesinglething.ButnowIwanthalfthelivingroom.Infact,Iwant
thehalfthatfacestheroad.Ithasadoublewindow.Then,"sheadded,watchinghiseyebrowsslowly
goupinastonishment,"Iwantatree--somethingbushy,Idon'tcarewhatkindandsomeornaments
andaturkeyandaham."''Areyougoingtoputtheturkeyandhamonthetree?"heasked.Sheglared
athim."IalsowantyoutobuysomethingforKatytogounderthetree.Apresentthatyoupickout
yourself,notthatyoursecretaryrunsouttogetonherlunchhour."Hetookoffhishatandidly
brusheditagainsthislegwhilehelookedather."Anythingelse?""No.That'sall."Hesearchedher
eyesandlaughedshortly."You'vesaidyourpiece,nowI'llsaymine.Christmasisforfeatherbrains
whohaven'tanythingbettertodo...."

"Youhush!"shesaidunderherbreath.''YouknowverywellwhatChristmasisandwhywecelebrate
it,andshameonyouforspoilingitforKaty!Howdoyouthinkshefeelswhenalltheotherchildren
aretellingherabouttheirChristmasesandalltheirpresentsandgoingtochurchtogethertothank
Godforthem?Whatdoyousupposeshesays?"Helookedstunnedforaninstant."It'onlyanother
day,"hesaiddefensively."Nottoalittlegirlwithoutamother,"she]saidquietly,andfeltherownloss
keenlyatthatmoment.Hedrewinaheavybreath."Allright,damnit,"hebitoff."Haveatree.Havei
turkey.Butdon'texpecttodragmetochurch,becauseIwon'tgo.""Don'tworry,"shereturnedhotly,
"Iwouldn'twanttohavetobeseenwithyouanyway!"Shewasturningonherheelwhenhecaughther
armandjerkedherback."Whereareyougoingforthetree?"Sheswallowed.Hewasmuchtoo
close.''Idon'tknow."

Hishandloosened,becameslowlycaressingontheleathersleeve."You'vegotKatyallhetupabout
this,Isuppose,"hegrowled."Sheonlywantswhatotherchildrenhave.""Allright.I'lldriveyouto
town."Sheturned,gapingupathim."I...IthoughtI'daskoneoftheboys.Ididn'texpectyoutogo."
Hiseyessearchedhersslowly."Don'tyouwantmeto?"Shecouldn'tanswerhim.Hergazecaughtin
hisandcouldn'tfreeitself.Foralong,hotmomenttheystoodinthecoldandjustlookedateach
other."Hell,ifwe'regoing,let'sgo,"hesaidirritably,throwingherarmaway."GetKaty."He
slammedhishatoverhiseyesandstalkedofftowardthegarage.Itwasastonishingthathe'dagreedto
it.Allthewaytotown,Besscastcuriousglanceshisway.

"Ineedtorunbytheofficeforafewminutes,"hesaidafterthesilentdriveintotown."I'llleaveyou
bothdowntownandyoushop.MeetmeinfrontoftheMengeaHotelatthree.""Yes,sir,"Besssaid
smartly.HeglaredatherassheclamberedoutwillagigglingKaty,andhiseyespromisedretribution
inthenearfuture.Bessgavehimhersweetestsmileandblewhimakiss.Thatreallysethimoff;he

leftrubberbehindwhenheaccelerated."Thepolicewillgethimifhedoesmuchofthat,"Besssaid
smugly."Heneverhasbefore,"Katymurmuredwithateasingsmile."My,my,hesureifstrangesince
youcame."Besslaughed,impulsivelyfreeingherhairfromitsbunandlettingitfallaroundher
shoulders."It'sniceouttoday,kindoflikeautumn."Shefrowned."WhatamIsaying,itisautumn
untilthetwentieth,isn'tit?""EverybodythinksofDecemberaswinter,"Katysaid."Bess,ishereally
goingtoletushaveatree?"sheaddedexcitedly."Yes,heis,"Besssaid,withoutaddingwhatafightit
hadbeen."Now.Let'sgetbusy."

SheandKatyboughtboxesofornamentsandtinselandatreestandandskirtwiththewadofbills
Judehadpushedintoherpurse.ShesentKatyintoabakerytogetbreadsandcookies,andwhileshe
wasgoneBessquicklyboughtsomeitemsthatthelittlegirlhadexpressedadesirefor.Beforeshe
couldregretit,sheaddedanewmodelofpocketcomputerthatJudehadbeenmutteringabout,along
withanasty-lookingtiethathewassuretohate.OnChristmasmorningshe'ddecidewhichofthe
presentstogivehim,shepromisedherself.Judepickedthemupinfrontofthehistoricoldhotelnear
theAlamoatthree,andBessglancedhopefullydownthestreettowardthebuilding."Nottoday,"he
saidflatly."I'vegotabudgetmeetingtonight.We'llonlyhavetimetobuythedamnedtreeandgo
home."Katylookedsad,butBesssmiledovertheseatather."YouandIwillgoanothertime,okay?"
Thecarjerkedsuddenlyandhegaveheralookthatwouldhavestoppedtraffic,butsheturnedaway
andignoredit.

"Sobrave,aren'twe?"hemurmuredasheflickedontheradio.Itwasplayingaparticularlymournful
songaboutlostlove,withalinethatwasrepeatedtothepointofmadness:"Ifeeeyulsooosickinmah
heartforyou."BessliftedhereyebrowsandsmiledatJude."Whatareyougrinningabout?"he
challenged.''Ifeeyulsooosickinmahheartforyou,"shedrawledoff-key,andKatyrolledoverin
thebackseat,mufflingherlaughter.OnecornerofJude'smouthactuallycurledupasheglancedat
Bess.He'dstoppedatatrafficlight,andhisleanhandshotouttocatchastrandofherloosenedhair
andjerkitroughly."Thorninmyflesh,"hemuttered,lettinggowhenshesquealed."Lifewasso
peacefuluntilIgottangledupwithyou."Shepushedbackthelonghairthathe'dtugged."Isthatwhat
youcallit?Iwasthinkingyouwereprobablyjustboggeddowninbadtemper."

"Careful,lady,"hecautionedashelitacigarette."Eventually,you'llbeunprotected."Sheknewwhat
hemeant,buttherewasawildsweetrecklessnessintauntinghim."Youdon'tscareme,maskedman,"
shereplied."Myancestorssurvivedcarpetbaggersandreconstruction.IreckonIcansurviveyou."
"OutherewehadApachesandComanches,"hesaid,glancingather."Asamatteroffact,my
grandmotherwasafull-bloodedApachewoman."Thatexplainedhisblackhair,darkcomplexionand
highcheekbones,shethought,studyinghim."Yes,itshows,doesn'tit?"heasked."We'vegot
photographsofsomedistantcousins.GetKatytoshowthemtoyou.""Oh,yes,"Katyagreed,alleyes,
"andthere'sabowandarrow,andaskinningknifeandabuffalorobe!""Iusedtoreadalotabout
CochiseandtheChiricahuaApaches,"Bessvolunteered."WesternhistorywasDad'spassion.Hehad
booksfullofoldphotosofthewarchiefs.Someofthemwerebeautiful,"sherecalled,memoriesof
thosesculpted,proudfeaturesflashingthroughhermind.Involuntarilyhereyesweredrawntothe

smoothskinofJude'sface,withthefaintshadowofnewbeardaroundhismouthandchin.Helifted
aneyebrowather."SomeApachementookwhitewomenfortheirlodges,youknow."Sheturned
backtoherwindow."There'saChristmastreelotoverthere,"shesaidquickly."Couldyoustop?"He
pulledintothesidestreetandparkedthecar.Katyranaheadoftheadultstothesmalldirtlotwhere
pineandsprucetreesweredisplayed."Thisisstupid,"Judegrowled,outofearshotofthecivicclub
menwhowereoperatingthelot."Whybuyatreewhenwe'vegotthousandsontheranch?"She
lookedupathim."BecausethemoneygoestoprovideChristmasforchildrenwhowouldn'thaveany
otherwise,"shesaidgently."SupposeKatylivedlikesomeofthefamilieswhosehouseswedrove
pasttogethere,Jude?"Hiseyesloweredtohersandthatsameodd,penetratinglookwasbackinthem
again.Itmadeherfeeltremblyallover."Moneydoesn'tbringhappiness,"shecontinued,"Irealize
thatalltoowell.Butthelackofitcancausealotofmisery."Heshiftedhisbroadshoulders
uncomfortablyandglancedtowardKaty,whowassignalingwildly."She'sfoundoneshelikes."He
glareddownatBess."You'llhavetodecoratethedamnedthing."Shebeamed."Ilikedecoratingtrees.
Weboughtallsortsofthingstoputonit.""Yes,Iknow,"hesaidwithararesmile."Aturkeyanda
ham."Shelaughedgaily,anditchangedhereyes.Theywerefilledwithwarmth,andhercreamy
complexionglowed.Shetossedherhead,andhersilvergoldhaircaughtthesunlightandshonelike
metal.JudestaredatherforalongtimebeforehemovedabruptlyandwenttojoinKaty.Thetreethe
littlegirlwantedwasahugepineovereightfeettall.Judetriedtosteerhertowardsomethingsmaller,
butitwastheonlytreeshewantedandshewouldn'tchangehermind.SoJudegavein,growlinga
little,andhandedthemanwiththecashboxalargebill.BessandKatyhadgonebacktothecar
becausethewindwascomingupanditwascold.ButBessglancedbackintimetoseeJuderefusing
anychange,andshewantedtocry.Itwasjustalittlevictory,butitwassolidgold.Judeputthetree
intothestandforthemandsetitup;thenheglaredatbothofthemandwentintotownforhismeeting,
announcingthathe'dhavedinnertherebeforeitstarted.Bessgiggled,andAggiecameinwitha
puzzledfrown."Henevereatsintown,"shesaid."Idonotunderstand.""He'sinasnit,"Bess
explained,laughingattheolderwoman'spuzzledexpression."He'sfuriousbecausehehadtobuyusa
tree."Aggielaughed."Butsuchamagnificenttree!"sheexclaimed,sighingoveritasshedriedher
handsonherapron."Ofcourse,athomewealwaysmadeanacimiento--&nativityscene.Butthetree
islovely,too."

"Weboughtalittlenativityscene,though,Aggie,"Katytoldherexcitedly."Andwegotlights,andall
sortsofstuff!IhavetocallDeanneandtellher!"SheranoffandBesssighed,smiling,asshestudied
thehugetree."She'sbeenlikethatallafternoon,"sheconfided."Sohappyandexcited.Icouldhave
cried."'"Thementellmethesenorhasneverlikedtoseecelebrations,senora,"Aggiesaidsadly.
"Well,we'rehavingonethisyear,"Besssaidshortly."Iinsisted.We'reevengoingtohaveturkey.And
aham,andallsortoftrimmings.Ihavearecipebook--Ihadarecipebook,"sheaddedonasigh."I
know,I'llcallthecaretakerandhavehimsenditouthereexpressmail!""Youhavesoldyourhome?"
Aggieasked."Oh,no.IhadJudehireacaretakerforit,"shesaid."It'sbeeninmyfamilyfora
hundredyears.Ijustcouldn'tsellit.Itwaspartofthemarriagecontract.Igavehimhisblessedshares,
andIgotmyhome.Andpartofthelivingroom,"sheadded,glancingtowardthetree."Hesaidhe
wouldn'thaveitinhishouse.Ifigurepartofthehousebelongstomenowthatwe'remarried,soI
toldhimIwantedhalfthelivingroom."Aggielaughed."Senora,youhavehimonhishead.Ihave
neverseenhimsoconfused.Hecursesallthetime.ButIhaveseenhimsmilewhenhelooksatyou.A
truesmile,thatofamanwhoispleasedwithwhathehas."Thatwasshocking.Besshadtorestrain
herselffrompumpingAggieaboutherremark.Butshedidn'tdarehope.Judewasdeterminedtokeep

heratadistance,soshe'dbetternotexpectverymuchfromhim.SheandKatydecoratedthetree,
finishingjustbeforeKaty'sbedtime.WhenBesspluggedinthelights,theyounggirlstaredatIitasif
she'dneverseenanythingsobeautiful.ShehuggedBesshard."Iloveyou,"shechokedout,andthen
ranawaybeforeBesscouldreply.Shestoodwatchingthetreewithtearsinhereyes.Who'dhave
thoughtitwouldmeansomuchtothelittlegirl?ShethoughtaboutChristmaseswhenshewasachild,
andthetroublehermotherandfatherhadgonetotomakethemspecialforher.Thetearsrolled
slowlydownhercheeks.They'dbeensuchahappyfamily,sohappy.Thenherfatherhaddiedandher
motherhadmarriedCrystal'sfather,andBess'sfragilehappinesshadcollapsed.Shecouldn'thelp
feelingsadaboutthepast.Ithadbeensolovelytohaveafamily,tobepartofthatwarmth.Thatwas
whyshewantedtomakeitbeautifulforKaty.Alittlegirlshouldhavesomesweetmemoriestolook
backonwhenshegrewup.

ItwasmidnightwhenBesswentuptobed,andJudehadn'tyetcomehome.Shewasstillamazedthat
he'dagreedtoherdemands.But,then,hewasfullofsurprises,andshewasn'tcertainyetthathe
wouldn'tgetevenwithherforforcinghishand.MaybeKaty'sexpressiononChristmasmorning
wouldbeenoughtostallhim.Asitturnedout,Judedidn'tmakeanysnideremarksaboutthetree;in
fact,hepretendeditwasn'tthereatall.Butshesawhimbringinabig,bulkypackageonenightbefore
Christmasandtakeitupstairswithoutsayingawordaboutittoanyone.Andsuddenlyherheart
soaredwithhappinessforKaty.TheonlyunpleasantnoteintheweekbeforeChristmaswasacard
fromCrystal,sayingthatshe'donlyjustgottenBess'snoteabouttheweddingandwouldcometo
spendtheholidayswithherandJude.Thatwasenoughtospoilthespiritofanticipationthatwas
buildinginsideBess.Crystalwasallsheneededrightnow,toshatterthedelicatetruceshewas
establishingwithJude.Shecouldhavecried.Crystalhadalwaystakenthingsfromher.Crystal,who
wasbeautifulandfragileandspoiled.ButBesshadnevermindedlosingbefore.Nowitwasa
differentstory.ShehadKatyandatleastthehopeofsomekindofrelationshipwithJudeifshewas
patient.WhatifCrystaldecidedshewantedBess'snewhusband?Ablackcloudsettledoverthe
holidaypreparations,likethedespairofthedaysbeforeBess'smotherhaddied.Shefeltoldsuddenly,
andafraid.

ChapterFive

Whatinthehellisthissupposedtobe?"JudeaskedBessasshewassettingthetableforsupperon
ChristmasEve.Sheglancedatthegracefullyfoldednapkinbesidehisplate."It'sanapkin,"shetold
him.Hegloweredatit,andabruptlylifteditinhisleanhandandshookitout."Ifit'sanapkin,suppose
youletitlooklikeone!ThisIsn'tyourplantation,littleGeorgiapeach."Sheglaredathim."You'll
findnapkinsdonethatwayinelegantrestaurantsalloverthecountry,"shesaidwithdeliberate
sarcasm."Ifyou'dratherwipeyourmouthonyoursleeve____"Hiseyesflickeredwithaburstof
emotion."Likeasavage?"hetaunted.Hethrewthenapkindownontohisplate."That'swhatyou've
alwaysconsideredme,Bess.Fromtheearlydays.""That'snotatalltrue,"shesaidquietly.She
stoppedliningupsilverwareandstooderect,herhairlongandsoft,floatingaroundtheshouldersof
thewhiteVictoriandressshewaswearing."Isn'tit?"Helaughedshortly.Hebenttocrushouthis
cigaretteinthebigceramicashtrayshe'dputoutforhim."Thenwhydo|youthrowpotsatme,and

trytoslapmyface,and...""Jude..."shesaidbeseechingly."Whycan'tweletbygonesbebygones?"
"Doyoureallythinkwecanignorethewaywereacttoeachother?"hesaidinsurprise,andeven
smiledalittle."MyGod,Ican'trememberthelasttimeawomanfoughtmelikeyouhave."The
remarkbroughtembarrassingpicturestomindJudewithawoman.She'dneverthoughtabouthimin
bedwithawomanbefore,anditshockedher.Unfortunately,theshockwasquitevisibletohis
piercingeyes."Thatisn'twhatImeant,"hemurmuredsoftly."Don'treadmymind,"shegrumbled,
turningbacktoherchorewithfingersthattrembled."WasI?Whatwereyouseeinginthatsuspicious
littlemindofyours?Ididn'tthinkladieseverdwelledonsuchsordidsubjectsassex."Sheignoredthe
deliberatetaunting."Katyshouldbedownanyminute,"shesaidquietly."Pleasedon'tmakefunofthe
dressIboughthertoweartotheChristmasEveserviceatchurchtonight."Helookedfranklyinsulted.
"Inevermakefunofmydaughter.""Ourdaughter,"shesaidcoolly,staringathim.Acornerofhis
chiseledmouthcurledupward."Excuseme.Ourdaughter."

Shefinishedarrangingthesilverware."Andwouldyousaysomethingniceaboutthewayshelooks?"
"Holdit,honey,"hesaidsilkily,noticingthewayherheadjerkedupatthecarelessendearmentthat
he'djustusedforthefirsttimeintheirstormyrelationship."I'veletyougetawaywithmurderforthe
pastweek,butthere'salimittomypatience.''"Doyouhaveany?"sheaskedconversationally.Hischin
liftedandhiseyesnarrowed."Giventherightcircumstances,Ihavequitealot,"hesaid,inatonethat
rippledalonghernerveslikeateasingfinger.Shehatedthehotsurgeinhercheeksandloweredher
handstorearrangeoneoftheplacesettings."That'ssomethingI'llneverknowabout,"shesaid.He
didn'treply,andshelookedupstraightintohisunblinkingstare.Itwaslikelightningstriking.She
couldn'thavedraggedhereyesawayfromhistosaveherlife,andtheintensityofthelooktheywere
exchangingmadehertingleallthewaytohertoes.Jude'snostrilsflaredwithaharshbreathandhe
movedabruptly,comingsoclosethatshecouldsmellhistangycologneandfeeltheheatofhim.He
slidonehandintothesmallofherback.Theotherpressedagainsthercheek,andhewatchedher
curiouslywhilehisthumbbegantomoveslowly,sensuously,acrossherlips,backandforthina
roughcaressthathadtheoddesteffectonherpulse."Cool,"hebreathed,"likeicetothetouch,even
yourmouth.I'vewonderedforyearswhatitwouldtaketounstarchyou.""Don'tthink...youcoulddo
it,"shewhisperedshakily.Buthecouldseetheeffecthishardthumbwashavingonher,hecouldsee
herlipspartinghelplessly,feeltheinandoutofherbreathonhischin."I'maman,"hesaidquietly.
"That'ssomethingyouseemtohaveoverlookedforalongtime.Ihavealltheusualneeds,andI'mno
virgin."Shefeltherheartbeatingwildlyandshewantedtomoveaway,butwhenshetried,thatsteely
handbehindherbroughtherlegsagainstthepowerfulmusclesofhisown."Stoprunning,Iwon'thurt
you,"hegrowled,watchinghermouth."Notthistime,atleast.I'mcuriousaboutyou.Iwanttoknow
whyyou'resodamnedcoldwithme.""Youmakemylifemiserable,"shesaidjerkily,"youcarryme
offfrommyhomeandforcemeintoamarriageIdon'twant,youinsultme...andthenyouhavethe
audacitytowonderwhyIbackawaywhenyoucometowardme!''Hiseyebrowslifted."Youwere
backingawayfrommelongbeforeIbroughtyouhere.Twosummersago.Thesummerbeforethat."
Hereyesfelltohischiseledmouthandshetriednottowantit."I'veonlytriedtodefendmyself."
"Afteryouattackedandsetmeoff,"heagreed.Hesighedquietly."IguessIamprettyhardonyou
sometimes."Thatadmissionwasstartling,becausehe'dneveradmittedanysuchthingbefore.She
glancedup,curious.

"Youdon'tknowwhy,doyou?"heasked,searchinghereyes.Shenodded."Becauseyoudislikeme."
Helaughedshortly."God,you'regreen,"hemurmured."Grassgreenandasoutofplacehereas
hothouseorchids."Hecaughtherchinandtiltedit."Thatremindsme.Iwantyoutostopputtingthose
damnedflowersinmystudy.Bandymadearemarkaboutitthismorning--andaboutthedamnedtree
youputinthelivingroom.Saidyouweresofteningmeup."Shegavehimhermostbelligerentglare.
"Andwhat'swrongwiththat,RawhideMan?You'resohardyoucan'tenjoythesimplepleasuresof
life."Thatmadehimangry."Wedon'tneedallthat,"hesaidgruffly."Christmastreesandwreathson
thedamneddoor...next,I'llfindlacesewnontheedgesofmydamnedunderwear!"Thethoughtofit
madehergiggle.Sheputupahandtomuffleherlaughter,buthecaughtitsavagelyandpressedit
againsthischest.

erfingersfelttheheavyriseandfallofhisbreathing.Thehandatherbackinvoluntarilydrewher
closer,andwithashocksherealizedthattheclosenessofherbodywasbeginningtohavea
noticeableeffectonhim.Apparentlyhewasn'tanxioustohaveherknowthat,becauseheimmediately
loosenedhisholdsothatseveralinchesseparatedthem.Hiseyeswentdowntotheslenderhand
restingonhiswhiteshirtfront.Hisownhandtoucheditlightly,tracingthepaleblueveinsonitsback,
runningoverherlongfingers."Youplaysomething,don'tyou?"heaskedinadeep,slowdrawl."The
piano?""Yes,"shewhispered."Youhave...lovelyhands,"hemurmured.Hisbreathingwasgrowing
moreraggedbythesecond.Slowly,almostabsently,heflickedopentwoofthetopbuttonsofhis
open-neckedshirtanddrewherfingersinside.Shewentrigidatthefeelofhim,atthehair-roughened
warmthandstrengthofthehardmusclesofhischest,justbelowhiscollarbone.Hislipspartedashe
watchedherhandagainsthisbody.Heopenedanotherbuttonandguidedherhandfromonesideof
hischesttotheother,lettingherfingersrestfinallyononerigidmalenipple.Shehadn'trealizedthat
ithappenedtomenthewayithappenedtowomen,andshelookedupwiththediscoveryinhereyes.
Hiseyesheldhersforalong,staticmoment.Hebenthisheadjustenoughforherlipstocomewithin
reachofhis,andshecouldfeelthebanked-downfireinhimlikeanimminentexplosion.''Openyour
mouth,andfitittomine,''hewhisperedinadeeptonethathypnotizedher.Sheobeyedhiminsilence,
athicksilencethatthrobbedwithnewemotions,newknowledge.Shestooduponhertiptoes,staring
athismouth,andopenedhersveryslowly.

Holdingherbreath,shefittedherlipsexactlytohishard,openmouth,andagaspcaughtinherthroat
attheexquisitesensationsthatrippledthroughherbody.Hisbreathmingledwithhers,comingquick
andharsh.Bothhishandsmovedtoherwaistandliftedhergentlyupagainsthishardbodywhilehis
mouthslowlyincreaseditsintimatepressure.Herhands,bothofthemexploringhishardchestnow,
tangledinthethickmatofhairoverthewarmmusclesandpulled,likeakittenkneadingasoftcover
inpurepleasure.Hemoanedsharply,andhismouthwassuddenlydemanding,hungryandrelentless,
forcinghersintoadeeperunionthatdrewamoanfromherownmouth.Sheslidherhandsuparound
hisneckandpressedherbreastshardagainsthischest.Shefeltasthoughsheweredrowninginnew
andexquisitepleasures.Allatoncehesetherbackdownonherfeetandstoodglaringather,hisface
showingmingledangerandreluctantsatisfaction.Shedrewawayfromhim,surprisedthathelether,
andturnedbacktothetable."Katy...andIaregoingtoservicesinafewminutes,"shesaid,shaken.
"Wouldyouliketogowithus?""No,Iwouldnot."Ifshehadn'tbeensoshaken,shemighthave
noticedtheraspingsoundofhisvoice,thequicknessofhisbreath,whichbetrayedhowmovedhe'd

been.Butshedidn't,andheturnedaway."I'mgoingoutfordinner,"hesaidcoldly."Youcangush
overKatyallbyyourself!""She'syourdaughter,Jude,"shesaid,hervoicesoftandhurtandshaking.
Hestopped,hisbacktoher,andsaidsomethingrough."Ican'tstayherewithyou,"hegroundout
afteraminute.Thatwasdeliberatelycruel,butshedidn'treact."Don'tworry,KatyandIwillbeoutof
thehouseforatleasttwohours,"sheretorted."I'dstillrathergototown.I'vehadaboutallthehigh
societyIcanstand,"headdedbeforeheslammedoutthedoor.Sheturnedherbackandwenttoward
thekitchentoseehowAggiewascomingwithsupper.Butshehesitatedoutsidethedooranddriedthe
tearsthatinsistedonfalling,nomatterhowhardshetriedtostopthem.Sheputonahappyfacefor
Katy,makingsomeexcuseaboutanunexpectedbusinessmeetingthatJudehadtoattend.Itpacified
thelittlegirl,butherdisappointmentshowed.Shehadherlonghairbrushedaroundhershoulders,
andshewaswearingtheruffledpinkdressBesshadboughtforher.Shelookedsolovely.AndJude
didn'tevencareenoughtostayandseeher.Besscouldhaveshakenhim.Later,whenitwasbedtime,
KatycameintoBess'sroomandtheysatintheirnightgownsonBess'sbedwhiletheolderwoman
toldheraboutChristmasesattheGeorgiaestatewhereshegrewup."Doyoumissyourmothera
lot?"Katyasked."Yes,"shesaid."Imissherterribly.Butshewasverysickandshe'ssomuchbetter
off.""She'sinheaven,"Katysaid,understanding.SheheldBess'shand."Youaren'tsorryyoucame
here,areyou?Youaren'tsorryyoumarriedDaddy?""No,I'mnotsorry,"Besssaidsoftly,and
smiled."LookwhatabeautifuldaughterIgot."

Katyblushedandgrinned."Bess,didyouhavepartiesatChristmaswhenyouwerealittlegirl?""Not
alotofthem,"Besssaid,sighing."Butwhenmystepsistergotbigenough,herfatherinsistedthatshe
havethem.Shehadlotsofboyfriends.""Didyou?"Bessshookherhead."No,darling.I'mveryplain,
youknow.""Daddydoesn'tthinkso,"Katysaid."IheardhimtellMr.Teaguethatyouwereavision.
Doesn'tthatmeanpretty?""Therearedifferentkindsofvision,"Besssaidsadly,thinkingJude
probablymeantshewasanightmare.Rememberingthewayhe'dkissedherdownstairs,shewenthot
allover.Whyhadhedonethat?

Shestretched,bringingtheelasticizedbodiceofhernightgownprecariouslylow,butshedidn't
notice."Darling,I'mtired,andtomorrowisChristmas.Let'sgetsomesleep,"shetoldKaty.
"Tomorrowwe'llmakesomeroastedpecanstosnackon,allright?""Allright,"Katysaid,gettingup.
"Bess,I'msogladyoucametolivewithus.""SoamI,"Besssaid,andwasabouttoelaboratewhen
Judewalkedin.Hehadn'tevenbotheredtoknock,andhelookedalittlewild.Hisblackhairwas
hanginguntidilydownonhisforeheadandhisgreeneyeswerehardandglittering."Haveaparty?"
heasked,hisvoiceslightlyslurred."Justsayinggoodnighttoeachother,"Besssaid,sittingup
straightereventhoughtheactionbroughtherbodicestilllower.Shefeltasenseofpoweratthe
expressionthatwentoverhishardfeatures,andshedidn'tfollowherfirstimpulse,whichhadbeento
pulluptheslippingfabric."Goodnight,Daddy,"Katysaid,standingontiptoeasheloweredhischeek
soshecouldkisshim."Youshouldhavecometochurchwithus,itwaslovely.TheministersaidI
lookedpretty,"sheadded,grinning."'Night,Bess."

"'Night,darling,"Besssaid,cringinginsidewhenKatywentoutwithawickedsmileanddeliberately
closedthedoorbehindher."Church,"Judegrowled."AndChristmastreesandturkeysandturningmy

damnhouseandmylifeupsidedown."Hewasbreathingroughly,andBesssuddenlyrealizedthathe'd
beendrinking.Herlipspartedonarushofbreath."Theservicewasverynice,"shesaidaftera
minute."AndKatydid...looklovely.""Sodidyou,"hegroundout,staringpointedlyatherbodice.
"Alllaceandruffles...didyouwearthatthingdeliberately?"Sheswallowednervously."Whatthing?"
"Thatgown,"hesaid,movingclosertothebedwithalittlelessthanhisusualeleganceofmovement.
Hesatdownheavilybesideher,stillstaringatthegown."I...couldn'thaveknown...you'dcomein
here,"shemanagedthroughtightlips."Oh,ofcoursenot,"hemuttered,glaringather."Butyouletit
slipdeliberately,honey,"headdedwithaglitteringsmile."Yousawmyeyesonyouandyoulikedit."
Hecaughtbothhernervoushandsinoneofhisandlockedthemtogetheroverherwaist,pressingher
backinasittingpositionagainstthepillows.Theotherhandwenttotheelasticizedbodice,andhis
eyesweresuddenlycruel."Ifyouwantmetolookatyou,Bess,youdon'thavetoplayteenagegames.
Justtellme."Ashespoke,herippedthebodicedowntoherwaist,baringhersmall,tautbreaststohis
hoteyes.Hestareddownatthemasifhehadeveryright,lettinghiseyestakeineachline,eachsoft
curve,eachcontrastofcolorfromsoftpinktomauve.Thehandholdingherstightenedashestudied
her,andhisfacewentcuriouslyrigid,leavingonlyhiseyestoexpresshischurningemotions.Bess
couldn'tmove.Hisintentstarekeptherstill.Hewaslookingatherinawaynomaneverhadbefore,
andtherewasanexpressioninhiseyesthatpuzzled,excited.Herbreathcameinunsteadygasps
whilesensationaftersensationwashedoverherlikeflames.

Finally,finally,hiseyeswanderedbackuptohers,toreadthewonderandfaintembarrassmentin
them."Yes,youdotikeit,don'tyou?"heaskedcurtly."Haven'tyoueverbeenlikethiswithaman?"
Sheshookherheadslowly,butwordswerebeyondher.Hiseyebrowsroseslightly."Never?"he
asked,asifthatwereincomprehensible."Asyou,yourself,said...myblessingsaresmall,"shesaidin
awhisper,turningherfaceaway."Don't,"hebreathed.Hefreedherhandsanddrewherfacebackto
hiseyes."Don't.You'reexquisitelyformed,asdelicateastheinsideofaseashell,pinkand
cream____"Hecaughthisbreathashelookedbackdownatherbody,hiseyesfiercelypossessive.

"MyGod,I'veneverseenanythingsosweetasthis!"He'dbeendrinking,ofcourse,shetoldherselfas
shewatchedhim.Buthewasmakingherfeelthingsshe'dneverexperienced,andshelovedhavinghis
eyesonher.Shewantedhimtobenddownandputhismouththere,there.Herthoughtsshockedher
andshecaughtherbreath.Hiseyescamebackuptoholdhers."We'remarried,"heremindedher
quietly."There'snoshameinthis."Herbreathstoppedinherthroat."Yes,I...Iknow,"shesaid.He
reachedoutagentlehandandtouchedhercheek,theneasedhisfingersintoherhair."You'reso
young,"hesaidintheten-derestvoiceshe'deverheardhimuse."Sountouchedbyuglinessandpain.I
shouldhavehadenoughhumanitylefttokeepyouawayfromme."Hedrewinanangrybreathand
stoodup,standingrigidlywithhisbacktoherashelitacigarette.Shelaytherehelpless,puzzledby
wordsshedidn'tunderstand."Jude?"sheaskedsoftly.Heturned,hiseyesgoinghelplesslytohersoft
bareness.Theyclosed,almostpainfully."Oh,God,willyoucoveryourselfup?"heaskedunderhis
breathasheturnedawayagain."I'vehadthreeneatwhiskeys,Bess,andit'sbeenmonthssinceI'vehad
awoman."Shetuggedherbodicebackinplacewithtremblinghands."Andyoudon'twantme.You
needn'tbotherrepeatingit,"shesaidinacooltonethathidherwoundedpride.Heactuallylaughed,
butbitterly."YoumightbesurprisedatthethingsIwant,butI'marealistthesedays.Iknowmyown
limitations."

"You,withlimitations?"shescoffed,draggingthecoverletoverherself."Howshocking."Heglanced
backandthenturnedaround,liftingthecigarettetohismouthashestudiedherflushedface.He
lookedsomasculineandsensuousthatshewantedtoclimboutofthebedandthrowherselfathim.
Thewayhe'dlookedatherbodyhadbeenunspeakablybeautiful,andsheknewthatdespitethefact
thathe'dbeendrinking,she'dtreasurethememoryofthisnightforever.Akissandthenthis....Itwas
likehavinghersecretlongingsallfulfilledatonce.

Youaren'treallycoolatall,areyou?"heaskedquietly."It'sakindofarmoryouwear,aformof
protection."Sheflushedwildly."Stoptakingmeapart."Heshookhishead."I'mnotdoingthat.You're
muchtoocomplex.But,downstairs--"hewatchedherflushwiththememoryofit"--youwerewith
meeverystepoftheway.Ihadn'texpectedyoutokissme,evenwhenItoldyouto.Iwas...teasing."
Oh,God,shethoughtmiserably.Sheclosedhereyesanddrewinasteadyingbreath.Please,please
don'tletmegivemyselfaway,shepleadedsilently."Wouldyoumindfindingsomeothermethodof
tortureinthefuture?"sheaskedunsteadily."Asyousaidyourself,I'mtoogreentoknowthe
difference.""Didithurt?"heasked,asifitmattered.Shelaughedbitterly."Iwouldn'tletyouhurtme.
Notinamillionyears."Hemadearoughsoundinhisthroatandcrushedouthiscigarette,even
thoughhe'donlyfinishedhalfofit."Damnit,whatIhadinmindforuswasasimplemerger,a
marriagebasedonbusinessconcerns,notemotion.Ihaven'tchangedmymind.Iwantedtheshares,
notimplications."Hereyesfelltothecoverlet,whichherfingerswereworrying."Thenstopcreating
them,"shesaid."Stophelpingme,"heshotback,glaringather."I'mhuman.Irespondtotemptation
justlikeanyotherdamnedman.""Iwasn't-""Tryagain."Hiseyesdarkenedashestudiedher,andshe
lookedawaybecauseshecouldn'toutstarehim."Iwon'tforget,"shesaidonasigh."Seethatyou
don't."Hepacedtheroomangrily.Shestudiedthecoverletasifitfascinatedher."Jude,whyhaven't
youeverhadaChristmastreebefore?"Heglancedatherbriefly."BecauseIneverrealizedhowmuch
itmeanttoKatyuntilnow."Helaughedshortly."Allthistimeshepretendedthatshedidn'tcare.AndI
wastoodamnedbusy."Heliftedhischinandstudiedherthoughtfully."Sheshineslikeanewpenny
thesedays.You'vegotherheartinyourpocket.Justdon'tsetyouratmine,lady.""Thatfrozenthing?"
sheaskedwithacalmshedidn'tfeel."WhyshouldIwantit?Anyway,youdon'twantme,"sheadded
quietly.Hiseyespinnedhertothebed."Iwyoudownstairs,"hesaid,shockingher.Herfacewent
bloodied,andhewaitwithliftedeyebrows."My,my,whataninterestingreaction,'hesaid."Very
virginal.''"Notexactlybychoice,"shesaidcoldly."Therewaslittleopportunityformetoattractmen
aslongasCrystallivedathome.""Tinselusuallyovershadowsgold,"hesaidthoughtfully,lookingat
her."Yourstepsisterisbeautiful,allright.Didshestealallyourboyfriends?""Everylastone.""Then
theycouldn'thavecaredverymuch,"hesaid."It'sprobablybetterthatyoukeptyourchastity."''Itwill
beagreatcomforttomeinmyoldage,"sheagreed.

Hiseyessearchedhers."Youwon'tchangealotwithage,Idon'tthink,"hemused."Youhavebeautiful
bonestructure."Shereturnedthelong,searchingglanceandslowly,poignantly,anideabeganto
forminhermind.Hewasn'tquiteasunapproachableasheusuallywas.Ifshecouldfindawayto
capturehisattentionbeforeCrystalshowedup,ifshecould...Herlipspartednervously."Jude...are
you...verytired?"sheaskedhesitantly.Hisdarkeningeyeswanderedslowlyoverher."Areyou

offeringmeyourbody?"Sheswalloweddownaquickdenialandcaughthernervousfingersinthe
coverlet."Do...doyouwantit?"Hischestroseandfellroughly."Oh,yes,"hesaidwithself-contempt.
"Iwantyou."Shestoodup,feelingwildlyrecklessandinhibitedatthesametime.Sheforcedherself
tofacehim.Herfingerswenttothegownandslowly,deliberately,easeditdownherwaist,overher
smoothhipsandontothefloor.

Judestaredatherasifhe'dneverseenawomaninhislife.Hisfaceflushedslightly,andhiseyes
explodedwithadesirethatdarkenedthemalmosttoblack."Graceandelegance,"hebreathed."I
imaginedyou'dbeproudevenwhenyouofferedyourself.Youaresolovely,Bess,"headdedwith
deepemotion."Solovely.Don'ttemptme,honey.I'mhungryandit'sbeenalongtime."Hestartedto
turnaway,butshetouchedhisarm,daringeverything."Would...woulditbesohard?"shewhispered,
hervoiceshakingwithembarrassment."No."Heshookhishead."Quitethecontrary.Butifyougot
pregnant..."Herfacebrightened,changed,andhereyessoftened."Oh,I'dlikethat,"shebreathed."I'd
likebeingpregnantwithyourbaby."Heactuallytrembled."Bess...""Don'tyouwantason,Jude?"she
asked,lookingupwithherwholeheartinhereyes.

Hereachedforher,crushingherbarenesstoeveryhardlineofhisbody,buryinghisfaceinhersoft
hair."Yes,"hegroundoutachingly."Iwantason.Iwantyou.But...""Butwhat?"Hisfingerstightened
atherback."Bess,youknowthatIservedinVietnam,thatIsawcombat?""Yes."Hesighedheavily.
"Myunitranintoanambush,andIcaughtalotofshrapnel.Myrighthipandthighlooklikearoad
mapofthemoon.Thescarshavefadedsomeovertheyears,butI'vehadwomenaskmetoputoutthe
light...."Helaughedwhenhesaidit,butBessachedforhispride.Howitmusthavehurt!"Iwon'task
youtoputoutthelight,"shesaidintohisear."Iwouldn'tcareifyouweremissinganarmoraleg...
you'dstillbeJude!"Hecaughthisbreathattheadmissionandshefeltashudderworkitswaythrough
him."Youmayregretthisinthemorning,"hegroundout.I'llworryaboutitinthemorning.Jude,
please...?""GoodGod,youdon'thavetobeg.Can'tyoufeelhowmuchIwantit?"Hebentandtook
hermouthroughly,possessively,andshegaveherselfuptothewildarousal.Shefelthimliftheronto
thebedandshelaywatchinghimasheundressedwithjerky,urgentmovements.Sheknewhewasn't
quitesober,butatlastsomeofthebarriersweredownandshewasgoingtotakefulladvantageofit.
Hereyesdidn'twaverwhenheturnedbacktoher;sheletthemlingeronthewhitescarsacrosshiship
andthigh.Hewaspalethere,probablybecauseheneverwentswimmingorworeshorts,andshe
couldseewhy.Itwasn'tpretty,butitwasn'tashorribleasheseemedtothinkitwas.Therestofhim
wasallhardmusclewhenhemoved.Hewasbroadchested,narrowhipped,asgracefulasacat."No
comment?"heaskedasheslidontothebedbesideher."Didyouexpectmetofaint?"sheaskedwitha
tinysmile."Ialmostdid,butitwasn'tbecauseofthescars."

Hiseyebrowsarchedandhemadeatiny,amusedsound."Haven'tyoueverseenamanundressed
before?"Sheshookherhead.Hisfingerstouchedhermouth,hercheek."I'lltrytobecareful,"he
said,bendingtokisshersoftly."ButI'mprettyrusty,Mrs.Langston.It'sbeenalong,longtimesinceI
hadawomaninmybed."Amazinglyuninhibitedwithhim,shereachedupwithlovingarmstohold
himwhileheteasedhermouth.Shefeltasifshewereseeingforthefirsttimethemanbeneaththe
hardveneer."Ididn'tthinkyoufelt.,.likethis,"shewhispered,tauteningwhenhetouchedher

unexpectedly.Heliftedhishead,frowning."Whynot?"Sheflushed,loweringhereyestohishairy
chest."You'realwayssnipingatme.""Don'tgetanyideasaboutit,"hesaidcoolly,hesitating."Idon't
loveyou,Bess.Iwantyou,butthat'sit."Shefeltacoldsicknesswellupinsideherandalmostjerked
awayfromhim.Buttherewassomethingdifferentinhismanner,inhiseyes.Sheknewshewasn't
goingtochangehimovernight.She'djusthavetobepatient.Andatleasthewantedher.Achildmight
softenhim,justalittle,ifhecouldwatchhergrowbigwithitandbethereinitsearlyyears--things
he'dmissedwhenKatywasborn."I'mnotaskingformiracles,"shesaidsoftly."I...I'lltrytoplease
youifyou'lltellmewhattodo."Hiseyesclosedforaninstantandhishpscompressed."Damn,Bess!"
"Whatisit?"sheasked,reachinguptosmoothherfingersoverhisbroadchestasshehaddoneinthe
diningroom.Surprisingly,heturnedoveronhisback."Don'tstopnow,"hesaidquietly.Herhands,
shyatfirst,smoothedoverhisshouldersandchest,rediscoveringthedifferenttexturesofskinand
hairandmuscleandbone.Hewatchedher,lyingbackonthepillowslikesomeMiddleEastern
potentate,faintlysmiling.Whenherhandsstoppedatthepowerfulmusclesofhisstomach,justbelow
hiswaist,heactuallygrinnedatherembarrassment.

"Coward,"hetaunted.Shesmiledback."I'mnewatthis.""You'lllearn."Hesatup,bringingherbody
againsthis,watchingherbreastsvanishinthethickhairoverhischest."Now,it'smyturn,"he
breathed,bendingtokissashockedgaspfromherpartedlips."Myturn,"hegrowledagain,easing
herdownontothemattress.Shefeltherbodyblazeupwithsensation.Hisstrollingfingerslearned
everysilkeninchofher,hislipssoonfollowingthesamepath.Theroomwasutterlyquietexceptfor
therecklesssoundstheymadetogether.Once,hereyesopenedandlookedstraightupintohisashis
powerfulbodyeaseddowntotallyagainsther."Afraid?"hewhispered."Yes,"sheagreedunsteadily.
Hisbodymovedandshegasped."Itwon'teverhurtagainafterthis,"hewhisperedgently,controlling
themotionofhispowerfulbodywithaneffortthatshowedineverystrainedlineofhishardface."Is
itbad?"

Itwas,butsheshookherhead,andaminutelatertheliebecametruth.Shearchedhelplesslyandthere
wasasuddentendernessinhiseyesashismotionsgrewdeepandurgentandhishandstaughtherthe
strangenewrhythm.Shelosttrackoftimeandplaceinthegripofsomethingsoexquisitelytorturous
thatshefeltasifsheweredyingofaparticularlyviciousfever.Herbodyburnedwithit,andthere
wasnorelief.Shewasslowly,agonizinglybeingstretchedinatensionthatwouldsurelykillher.
"No,"shewhisperedurgently,herfingernailsclutchingwildly,herteethagainsthisshoulder."No,I
can't!"Hewaslaughingtriumphantly...laughing!Hishandscontrolledherwildbody,forcingitto
complywiththedemandshewasimposing.Andthenitwasallsweetexplosionandconsuming
flames,snappingthetension,andshefellandfellandfell____Itseemedlikehoursbeforeshecould
breatheagain,beforehereyesstoppedmeltinginhottearsthatfellontohisdampchest.

Shewastrembling,andsowasheintheaftermathofsomethingsovolcanicthatsheblushedjust
rememberingit.Hishandbroughthereyesuptohisandhecaughthisbreathashewatchedher."Not
whatyouexpected,honey?"heaskedsoftly."I...thoughtitwould...hurt,"shewhispered.Hiseyes
wanderedslowlydownthelengthofherbody."Didn'tit?Youcriedout."Sheblushedwildlyandhid
hereyes,andhelaughedagain,softly.Heboreherdownontothemattresswithaglitteringwildness

inhiseyesthatshe'dneverseeninthem.Hisnostrilsflaredashebreathed."Lasttimewasforyou,"he
saidunderhisbreathashisfingersmovedinslowexploration."Thistime,"hewhispered,bendingto
hermouth,"isforme--"Thenightwasatoncethelongestandshortestshe'deverspent,andasdawn
slowlyerasedtheblacknessoutsidethewindow,sheachedpleasantlyfromheadtotoe.Shewas
astoundedatJude'sinexhaustibleardor.Sheflushedatjustthememoryofitandwonderedathis
staminaandherown.

Butthetender,hungryloverofthenightwassadlylackinginthebitter-facedmanwhodragged
himselfoutofbedanddressedinthedimlight.Shedidn'trememberwhenhe'dturnedthelightsout.
Hedraggedonhisshirtandflickedthelighton,standingquietlyinhisjeansandstaringatherwith
eyesshecouldn'tread.Self-consciously,shetuggedthesheetoverherbreastsandflushedatthe
intensityofhisgaze."Andnowyouknow,don'tyou?"heaskedwithamockinglaugh."Youknowthat
Iwantyoutothepointofobsession.Butdon'tthinkyou'regoingtoputaringthroughmynose
becauseofit,honey.Youwon'townme.Notevenifyougivemeachildoutoflastnight.Ihopeyou
meantwhatyousaidaboutwantingthatbaby,Bess,becauseI'mthroughkeepingmydistancefrom
you.I'llhaveAggiemoveyourthingsintomyroominthemorningandyoucansleepwithmefrom
nowon."Shestaredathimwithslowcomprehension."But...yousaidyou.,.wantedachild,too,"she
remindedhim.

"MyGod,Iwantedyou,youstupidwoman,"hegroundout,glaringdownather."I'dhaveagreedwith
anythingtoget..."Hesighedandturnedaway,runningarestlesshandthroughhishair."Ithadbeen
months,andIwashungryforsomethingfemaleinmyarms.Allthatwhiskeyandallthelonelynights
caughtupwithme."Hiseyesglitteredather."Andyoustrippedoffthatdamnedgownandcameatme
likeVenusrising.I'mhuman,damnyou!"Sheturnedherheadawayonthepillow,hereyesclosedas
thetearsranfreelydownhercheeks.Forjustafewhoursshe'dthoughthewasasinvolvedasshe
was,asfullofwonderaboutwhatthey'dshared.Butithadallbeenasham,liketheirmarriage.
"Regrettingitwon'thelpnow,"hesaidcoldly."Justremember,lady,itwasallyouridea."Butshe
didn'tanswerhim.Shecouldn't.Herheartwasbreakinginhalf.Hestoodbythebedforaminute,and
shefeltthathewantedtosaysomething.Butthemomentpassedandhelefther,slammingthedoor
behindhim.

ChapterSix

GettingupandpretendingthateverythingwasfinewasthehardestthingBesshadeverdone.Sheput
onthesoftbeigejerseydressthatshe'dcomefromGeorgiain,androlledherhairintoaFrenchtwist
athernape.ShehardlybotheredwithmakeupbecausenoonewouldseeherexceptJudeandshedidn't
carehowshelookedanymore.She'dwantedhimsomuch,lovedhimsomuch.She'dthoughthecared
alittle...andithadallbeensex.Shelaughedatherownnaivete.Andtonightshe'dsleepinhisarms
anditwouldallhappenagain.Butherresponsewouldn'tbeasuninhibited,shepromisedherself.He
wouldn'twringthatmadnessfromhertwice,notwhensheknewhewashatingherfor"tempting"

him.Shepickedupherbrushandalmostflungitintothemirrorinpurefury.Ifonlyshehadn'tbeen
sostupid,sotrusting.Shestraightened.ForKaty'ssake,shewasgoingtohavetoputonherbrightest
faceandpretendeverythingwasjustfine.ShewenttoKaty'sroomandknockedonthedoor.She
peekedherheadinsideandsmiledattheheadunderthecovers."Hey,"shecalledsoftly."SantaClaus
hascomebynow,Iimagine.Wanttogodownstairsandsee?"Katywasinstantlyawakeandalleyes.
"Oh,let's!"sheagreed,boundingoutofbedtograbherquiltedpinkrobeandslippers.Bessputan
armaroundherastheywenttothestaircase,dreadingtheconfrontationthatwouldundoubtedlycome
withJude.Thepresentsshe'dputunderthetreelastnightaftershe'dsentKatyupstairswerewhere
she'dleftthem,butsomemorehadbeenadded.Shefrownedatthesizeofoneofthem,abig
rectangularthingwrappedinbrownpaperwithafrillybowstucktoonecorner.PerhapsAggiehad
putitthere."Shouldn'twegetDaddy?"Katyaskedatthefootofthestairs."Yes,Isupposeso,"Bess
saidhalfheartedly."Whydon'tyougoupstairsandknockonhisdoor,darling?""Noneed,"Judesaid
fromthehall."Iwokeearly."Hehadacoffeecupinonehandandhewaswearingjeansandnothing
else.Hisbroad,hair-coveredchestwasbareandsowerehisfeet,andhelooked...odd.Besscouldn't
meethiseyes.ShewentintothelivingroombehindKaty,awareofJudenearher.Itmustbesomesort
ofradar,shethoughthysterically.Shealwaysknewwherehewas.''Iknewyou'dcometowatchme
openmypresents,"Katysaid,laughing,draggingherfathertothetree."Here,thisoneisyours.I
hopeyoulikeit!"Judesprawledonthecarpetandopenedthepackage,murmuringappropriatelyat
thespecialcigarettecaseKatyhadboughthimwithherownmoney.Bessknewitwassomethinghe'd
neveruse,butKatyhadinsisted."Oh,Dad,thankyou!"Katywascooing,assheopenedapresentthat
containedanautomaticcamerawithfilmandflash-cubes."Youremembered!""Itwashardtoforget,"
hemurmureddrily,andBessalmostlaughedassherecalledKaty'srepeatedhintseverymorningat
breakfast."Aren'tyougoingtoopenyours?"JudeaskedBess,glancinginherdirectionwithout
actuallylookingather."Yes,hereitis,Bess!"Katysaid,handingherasmallpresent."Thatwasn'tthe
oneImeant,butgoaheadandopenit,"hesaid.Besstoretheribbonsandpaperandfoundabottleof
herfavoritecologne.SheleanedforwardandkissedKaty."Thankyou,darling,"shesaidsoftly."It's
myveryfavorite.""Ihopedyou'dlikeit.Thankyouformine,"sheadded,huggingthemusical
computerthatBesshadgivenher.

Judereachedoutandtuggedthebig,rectangularpackagefromitsperchagainstthewallandhandedit
toBess."I...Ididn'texpectanything,"shesaid,avoidinghiseyes."NeitherdidI,"hesaid,holdingup
theasyetunopenedpackagethatcontainedthenastytie.Shetoreopenthepaper,andwhenshesaw
whathe'dgivenhershecouldn'tsayaword.Hereyesfilledwithtearsandshechewedhardonher
lowerliptokeepfromcrying.There,inthetornfoldsofthewrappingpaper,wasthepaintingshe'd
admiredthatfirstdayattheSanAntonioairportwiththewindmillandranchhouseagainsttheflat
horizon."Catgotyourtongue?"hetaunted.Shetookaslowbreath."Thankyou,"shesaidina
subduedtone,touchingthepaintinglightly,lovingly."I...Iwanteditverymuch."Hedidn'tsayaword,
butwhenhestartedtoopenhisgiftshetouchedhishandlightly."No,"shesaid."That'sjustatie.I
haveanother..."

Shejumpedupandranallthewayupthestairstotakethepocketcomputeroutofherchestof
drawers.Shewasbreathlesswhenshegotbackandthrustthesmallpackageintohishands.Puzzled,
heunwrappeditwithslow,deliberatemovementsofhisleanhands,andwhenhesawwhatitwashe

juststaredatBess."HowdidyouknowIwantedthis?"Sheshifteduncomfortably."Thesamewayyou
knewIwantedthis,Iguess,"shesaid,touchingthepainting.Hewasleaningbackagainstthearmchair
withonelegproppedup,andhiseyeswerecalculating.Halfdressedashewas,helookeddevastating.
"Well?"hesaidcurtly."Wellwhat?""Don'tIgetakiss?"heaskedwithraisedeyebrows."Yougave
Katyone.""Youmust,Bess!"Katyinsisted,hiswillingco-conspirator,bothofthemignoringthe
olderwoman'sblush."It'sChristmas."

"She'sshy,"hetoldKaty."Whydon'tyougogetAggieandtellhertocomeandopenherpresents?"
"Sure!"Katylaughed,leapinguptogoinsearchofthehousekeeper.Bessflushedwildly,lowering
hereyestothecarpetwhentheywerealone."Shy?"hetaunted."Thereisn'taninchofyouIdon't
knownow.""Oh,yes,thereis,"shereplied,liftinghereyes."Mymind.Andmyheart.Youdon'tknow
thefirstthingabouteitherone.""AndIdon'tcareto,"hesaidflatly."Yourbodyistheonlythingabout
youthatinterestsme.Comehere.""Gotohell.""It'sChristmas,"heremindedher,liftinghisarrogant
chinandsmiling,butitwasn'tafriendlysmile."Comehere,Bess,orI'lltellKatyyoudon'tlikeme."
"Goahead,it'sthetruth,"shesaid,hatinghim.Heleanedforwardandcaughtherwrist,propellingher
acrosshispowerfullegsandintohisarms.Heleveredherdowntothecarpet,loomingoverherand
pinninghertherewithhishandsonherwrists."Fightme,"hewhisperedwithahuskylaugh."Fight
me,Bess,andwe'llseewhowins."Shedrewinanangrybreathandlethereyestellhimhowfurious
shewaswithhim.Butshestoppedstruggling.Heseemedtolikesubduingher.Butthatwaslikehim,
too."That'smorelikeit,"hemurmuredashebenthishead.Hislipswerepoisedjustabovehers,so
thatshecouldfeelandtastehissmokybreath."Nowopenyourmouththewayyoudidlastnight,and
let'sgetdrunkonthetasteofeachotheralloveragain--"Hermindrebelledevenasherbodyobeyed
him.Shetriedtobecool,nottorespond,buthewashungryandshelikedtheroughnessandpowerof
hisembrace;shelikedthewayitmadeherfeeltoknowthathewasaroused."Oh,yes,"hebreathedas
hefelthershyresponse."Yes,likethat.Holdme,Bess."

erarmswentuparoundhimandshefeltwithasenseofawethefullweightofhisbodyonhers.
"Katy..."shewhisperedshakily."I'llhearthem,"hewhisperedback."Bess,"hebreathed,andshefelt
hishandbrushfromherwaistupoveronetaut,fullbreasttocupandcaressitwhilehismouthmade
herwanttoscreamwithitsslow,tauntingarousal.Histhumbwasstrokingher,drivinghermad,and
shetwistedtoescapeit,butitfollowed,easingunderherbra,takingfabricwithit,tofindthesoftness
ofher.Hiseyeswerewildwhenhedrewaway,glitteringlikegreenfireworksinhistautface."We'll
sleeptogethertonight,"hebreathedhuskily."I'llhaveyouagain.Andagain."Hismouthcrusheddown
ontohers."Oh,God,Iwantyou!"hegroaned.Hemoved,makingherawareoftheforceofhis
passion,andshegasped."Youcanfeelit,can'tyou?"heaskedroughly."Amancan'thidehishungers
thewayawomancan.I'vetastedyouandnowIwantmore,Iwanttomakeabanquetofyou.Youknew
Iwould,damnyou.You'rejustlikeeveryotherdamnedwoman____"Sheturnedherheadweakly
away,closinghereyes.Wouldhenevertireofhurtingher?

Herolledawayabruptlyandproppedhimselfbackupagainstthechair.Hepulledacigaretteand
matchesdownfromthecoffeetableandlitonewithfingersthatweren'tquitesteady.Besssatup,
straighteningherhair."Youlooktidyenough,"hesaidcurtly,glaringather."Nothingrufflesyou

verymuch,societygirl,notevenrollingaroundonthefloorwithme."Shegottoherfeetwith
exquisitegraceandturnedawaytopickupthewrappingpaperandstuffitintooneoftheboxesKaty's
presentshadcomein."Nocomment?"hetaunted,hisvoicecoldandhard."Whatwouldyoulikeme
tosay,Jude?"sheaskedquietly,turningtofacehim."I'mvulnerablewithyou.Ican'thelpit.Idon't
havetheexperiencetopretendIdon'tlikewhatyoudotome.Butitisn'tkindofyoutomakefunof
me."

Helaughedshortlyandavertedhiseyes."Butthen,I'mnotakindman.Ineverpretendedtobe.""If
youhatemesomuch,thenfilefordivorce,"shesaidproudly."Whatkindofsettlementwouldyou
like?"heaskedwithpursedlipsandbitingsarcasm."Anoilwellortwo?AnewminkandaFerrari
everyyear?""Idon'twantmoney,"shesaid,bendingtopickupastrayribbon."Ineverdid.Icanwork
forwhatIwant.""Icanseeyounow,waitingtables,"hechided.Shestoodup,regalandcool."There's
nodisgraceabouthonestwork.Icouldwaittablesaswellasanyoneelse.I'mnottrainedtodomuch,
butI'mnotafraidofhardwork.Keepyourmoney,Jude,"sheaddedwithafaintsmile."Idon'tneedit,
oryou."Hiseyesbegantoglitterandhegottohisfeetslowly,menacingly."Don'tyou?Icouldmake
youbegforme."Shestraightened."Yes,"sheagreedinasmallvoice."Iknowyoucould."

Hishandslicedthroughtheair,makingthecigarettetipglowwildly."Damnyou!Socooland
untouchable!''"Here'sAggie,"Katycalledassheandthehousekeeperjoinedthem.Shepaused,
glancingfromBess'swhitefacetoJude'sred-tingedone."I...wasjusttellingJudethatmysisteris
comingtospendsomeoftheholidayswithus,"Bessblurtedout,flushing.Jude'seyeswidened.
"Crystal?""Yes,"shesaidwithanervoussmile."Imeanttotellyousooner,reallyIdid,butIkept
wonderinghowtodoit.""Idon'tmindhavingherhere,"hesaidwithasmilethatonlyBesssaw.
"She'llbeanicedecoration.Howlongisshestaying?""Shedidn'tsay,"Bessmanaged.Hiseyes
wanderedoverherface."Afraidofthecompetition?"hechided.Sheturnedaway."I'veneverbeenany
competitionforCrystal,"shesaidwithquietdignity."Shetakeswhatshelikes."Judescowledather,
hiseyesstrangeandintent.Buthedidn'tsayaword.Heonlyliftedthecigarettetohislipsandturned
backtoKatyandAggie,whowereexclaimingoverthescarfAggiehadgottenfromBessandthe
hand-crochetedshawlshe'dgottenfromJudeandKaty.Later,Judewentupstairstodressfordinner
andKatyandBesshelpedAggiesetthetable.ItwasoverflowingwitheverythingfromSallyLunn
bread,whichBesshadmadefromtheoldhomerecipe,toambrosiaandhamandturkeyanddressing
andgibletgravywithhomemadepotatorollsandSoutherncornbread,cranberrysauce,greenbeans
andmashedpotatoesandsweetpotatosouffl6.Fordesserttherewasfruitcake,andapplepie,and
hand-dippedchocolates.Bessforcedherselftoeat,eventhoughshe'dlongsincelostherappetite.
Judemanagedtoputawayafilledplate,buthiseyeskeptlancingtowardBess,andshecouldn'tmeet
them.Hehatedher,andsheknewit.Buttherewasnothingshecoulddoorsayinherowndefense.
She'dtemptedhim,allright.She'dwantedhimdesperately.Shelovedthehorribleman,andhewanted
nopartofher.

Hereyesdrifteddowntoherblackcoffeeinitsdelicatechinacup.Whyhadhebotheredtobuyher
thepainting?shewondered.HaditbeenforKaty'ssake?Tokeeppeace?Shesighed,soundingso
lonelyandforlornthateveryonelookedather."Bess,whyareyousosad?"Katyaskedgently."Nina,

thesenorahasnomothertocelebratethisChristmaswith,"Aggiesaidgently."Wemustnotmindif
shefeelsasadness."BesslookedatAggieandsmiled."Thankyou,butI'mcopingverywell.Ihave
anotherfamilynowtocelebratewith."Judeabruptlythrewdownhisnapkinandgotupfromthetable,
strodeawaytowardbisstudyandslammedthedoorbehindhim."What'sthematterwithDaddy?"
Katyasked,shocked.Bessshookherhead."Hedoesn'tlike--"Shealmostsaid"me,'butcaughtherself
intime."Christmas,"shesaidinstead."I'mafraidit'sallcaughtupwithhim.""Buthesaidhelikedthe
tree,"Katytoldher.Shegrinned."Andhetoldmehowlongittookhimtofindthepaintingyou
wanted.Ithadbeensoldandhehadtofindthemanwhoboughtittogetitback."Howstrangethathe'd
gonetosomuchtroubleforsomeonehedisliked.ButbeforeBesshadtimetoreflectonJude'sodd
behavior,thephonerang.AggiewasbackinaminutetogetBess.Besspickedupthereceiver,feeling
asenseofimpendingdoombecausetherewasonlyonepersonwhomightbecallinghertoday.
"Hello?"shesaid."Hello,MerryChristmas!"Crystal'sbubblyvoicewasinstantlyrecognizable."Send
someonetotheairporttofetchme,love.I'vecometocheerupyourdrearyholidays!"

ChapterSeven

TheairportwasbustlingwhenJudeandBessgotthere,butitonlytookaminuteforthemtospot
Crystal.Shewouldhavestoodoutanywhereinthewhitesatinblouseandblackskirtshewore.With
herexquisitefaceandfigureandhertumbleoflong,straightblondhair,shewasabsolutelystunning.
"Darling!"shecalled,runningstraighttowardBessandJude.ButitwasJudewhosearmssheraninto,
andwhileBesswatched,horrified,Crystalkissedhimonthemouth,herardorrealandsickeningto
watch.Worse,Judedidn'tseemtomindatall.Hisarmscontractedandhelaughedashelethergo.
"Hello,bubbles,"hesaid,grinningattheyoungerwoman."Howlongcanwekeepyou?"Crystal
lookedecstatic,Bessthought.Alreadyshehadacaptivemale.Andwhocaredthatitwasdryold
Bess'shusband,anyway?"Aslongasyou'llletme,"shetoldJude,grinninggaily."I'vehadatiffwith
mycount,andImayneverleaveBigMesquite.How'sthat?"BessstoodrigidlywhileCrystalhugged
her.ShewascertainCrystal'saffectionwasallforshow."Hi,love,"Crystalmurmured."Bad
Christmasforyouthisyear,isn'tit,withCarladead?"Bess'seyesbegantowaterandsheturnedaway.
"I'mgladyoucouldcometovisit,"Besssaidtautly.Judewasglaringather,butshedidn'tlookhis
way."YoujustmissedChristmasdinner,butAggiecanfixyouaplate,"Besssaidgraciously,
rememberinghermanners.

"Lord,Icouldn'teatabite!"Crystalsaid."Ihaddinnerontheplane,youknow.Cardboardandallthat,
butitwasfilling,atleast.AndInevereatmuch.Havetowatchmyfigure!"Sodideveryoneelse,Bess
thoughtuncharitably,seeingthewaymaleeyesfollowedherflamboyantstepsisterastheyweaved
throughthetravelersontheirwaytotheparkinglot."You'reveryquiettoday,Bess,"Crystal
remarkedwhentheyweresettledintheMercedeswithCrystal,asBesshadexpected,inthefrontseat
andBessintheback."Shehadabadnight,"Judesaid,straight-faced,andfortunatelyCrystalturned
aroundbeforeshesawBess'swildflush."Well,IcouldhavediedwhenIreadthatnoteaboutthetwo
ofyougettingmarried,"CrystaltoldJude."Youusedtoswearyou'dneverletanywomangetahold
onyou.""Imeantit,too,"hesaidimperturbably,lightingacigarette."ImarriedBessbecauseofthose
damnedshares.Icouldn'tgetthemanyotherway,thankstoCarla.""Lord,shedidhateyou,didn't

she?"Crystallaughed."PoorJude.Ismarriageawful?"Bess,sittingignoredinthebackseat,could
haveshotthemboth.IfonlyJudehadallowedKatytocomewiththemsoshecouldhavehadsomeone
totalkto!"Ithasitscompensations,"Judemurmured,glancingintherearviewmirror."Doesn'tit,
Bess?""Yes,"shesaidsweetly."Katyisoneofthem."Hedidn'tlikethat.Hiseyesglaredather.But
Crystallaughed."Thatsoundslikeyou,darling,"shetoldherstepsister."Youalwaysdidlovekids.
Areyougoingtohavesomeofyourown?""Yes,"Besssaidcurtly,andhereyesdaredJudetoargue.
Hedidn'tseemtowantto."BessisgoodwithKaty,"hesaidasheturnedontothemainhighway.
"They'realreadypals."

"Ican'twaittoseeKatyagain,"Crystalsaidwithalazysmile."Shewasjustababythelasttimeatthat
familyget-together.""You'vemissedthemallforyears,"Juderemindedher."Oh,I'vebeenbusy."
Crystalsighed."Traveling,youknow."Andsleepingaroundandsuch,Bessthoughtvenomously,but
shedidn'tsayanything.Shejuststaredoutthewindow.Whentheyreachedtheranch,Bessshowed
Crystaluptotheguestroom.Hopingtotakeadvantageofthemomentofprivacy,shelingeredwhile
Crystalunpacked."Seriously,"BessaskedasCrystaldroppedhercosmeticbagcarelesslyonthebed,
"howlongareyoustaying?""Justalittlewhile,"camethesunnyreply."Youdon'tmind,doyou?
I...needsomeplacetostay,justuntilIcangetmylifeandmyfinancesinorderagain."Isthatit,orare
youaftermyhusband?Besswonderedbitterly,butshewasgearedtokeepingherworriesdeepinside.
Shefingeredthedoorfacing."You'rewelcome,ofcourse,"shesaid.

Crystalturnedfromthewindowandgazedather.Shemadeanoddlittlegesturewithonemanicured
hand."Marriagenotgoingwell?"sheaskedwithfainthumor."Mostrelationshipshaverockystarts,
darling."Bessonlystaredather."HowwasParis?"Crystallookedhaunted."Beautiful,ofcourse,"she
said,laughingnervously.Shestaredatthecoverlet."Bess,Iwish..."Sheglancedtowardherstepsister
hopefully,buttherewasnosoftening.Sheshrugged."Thanksforlettingmecome."Bessturned.
"Comeondownwhenyou'veunpacked.Katywillbegladtoseeyou.""Iwishyouwere,"Crystal
murmured,butherstepsisterwasalreadyoutofearshot.KatyhadbeencourteoustoCrystal,butBess
sensedthattheyounggirlreallydidn'tlikeherverymuch."She'snotlikeyouatall,isshe?"Katy
askedlaterthatafternoon,whenthetwoofthemwerewalkingaroundtheranchyard.Crystalhad
pleadedwithJudetoexplainhiscomputersystemtoher,andshe'dmanagedtogethimalltoherself.

"No,"Besssaid,tuggingherleatherjacketcloser."Wewereneverreallyclose.Wehadnothingin
common."Katysighed,snugglingcloserasthewindwhippedaroundthem."Bess,areyougoingto
havesomebabies?""Ihopeso,"shereplied.Sheglanceddown."Willyoumind?""Oh,no,"Katysaid
honestly."I'dliketohaveababytohelptakecareof.Ilikebabies.Theysmellnice."Besslaughed,
daydreamingabouthowitwouldbetohavealittlepinkbabytoholdandkissandsharewithKaty
and...Thesmilefaded.Judehadn'treallymeantitaboutwantingone.He'donlywantedBessandhad
beenreadytosayanythingtogether."WanttogowatchBlanketeat?"Katyasked."She'sworkingout
realwell,Bandysays.She'sgoingtobeagoodsaddlehorse.""Ifsheeverstopsfallingonpeople,"
Besssaid,smiling."Sure,let'sgolook."

Blanketwasmunchingoatswhentheywalkeddownthelong,wideaislebetweenthehay-filledstalls.
Shetossedhermaneandstaredatthemwithherbigsofteyesastheyapproachedthestallwarily.Bess
reachedoutahandtoher."Careful,"Katycautioned."Shebites.""Iknow.Butshe'sgototherthingsto
eatbesidesmerightnow."Besslaughed.Shestrokedthesilkymuzzlegently."Oh,Blanket,you'reso
pretty.Ialwayswantedahorse,butIneverhadthetime.Mamawassickforsolong,andIhadtotake
careofher.""Whatwasitlikewhereyougrewup?"Katyasked.Bess'seyesweredreamy."Green,
darling,"shesaidwistfully."WithgrovesofbigpecantreesandwisteriaandSpanishmosshanging
fromthetreesbytheriver,andfieldsofpeanutsandsoybeans.Ourhousewastwo-storiedwith
columns,andariver-rockpatiointheback.Mygreat-grandmotherwasborninthefrontbedroom."

Katywaswatchingher,smiling."DidyougotoaschoollikeIdo?"Bessshookherhead."Iwenttoa
boardingschoolupnorth.Ididn'tlikeitverymuch,butitwasfashionable.I'dmuchratherhavegone
toapublicschoolintownandbeenabletostaywithmyparents.""I'mgladIgotomyschool,"Katy
said."Ilikegoingwithallmyfriends.""Ineverhadfriends,"Bessconfided."Exceptone.Shedied
whenwewereintheeighthgrade,andImournedherforalongtime.I...don'tgetclosetopeople
easily.""You'reclosetome.""You'redifferent."Besssmiled."You'reveryspecial."Theyounggirl
huggedher."Soareyou.I'mgladyou'remymother.""Darling,soamI."Besskissedtheblackhair
thatwassolikeJude's,andthenreachedouttostrokeBlanket'snoseagain."Wouldyouliketogo
riding?"Katyasked."We'vegotalotofsaddlehorses,andBenny'sasgentleasalamb."Bess'seyes
litup."Yes!""Comeon."

Minuteslater,BesswasridingtheoldgeldingbesideKaty'slittlebuckskinmare,headingdownone
ofthetrailsontheproperty.Theairwasnippy,butitfeltgood."Ishouldhavewornboots,Iguess,"
Besssaid,glancingdownatherlow-heeledwalkingshoes."Nottomentionjeans.Thisisinsane,
ridingaroundinadress.Whatifsomeoneseesus?"KatylaughedatBess'sbarelegs."Nobodywill,I
promise."Theyrodethroughthewoodswherepinesandleaflessoaksandmesquiteshelteredthe
trail,andBessthoughtshe'dneverfeltsoalive.SheforgotCrystalandJudeinhisstudy;sheforgot
everythingbutthejoyofbeingalive,andgloriedinthestarkbeautyofthelandscape."Thecattlelook
cold,"Bessmurmured,watchingthemastheypausedbesideabarbedwirefencewherecactusgrewin
alineparallelingit."AndsoamI,"sheadded,glancingatherbare,chillylegs."We'dbettergo--""So
thereyouare,"Judegrowled,ridinguponhisbigchestnutgelding.Helookedferociouswithhishat
pulledlowoverhiseyes;hisveryposturespelledtrouble.HiseyeswenttoBess'sbarelegsandhe
caughthisbreath."Areyoucrazy?""Don'tbemad,please,Daddy,"Katyaskedgently."Wejustwanted
togoriding,andBessdidn'twanttogoallthewaybacktothehousetochange.""No,she'drather
catchpneumoniaandbewaitedon,"hegrowled."We'llgobacknow,"Besssaidquietly,turningher
mount.Allthesweetpleasureofthedayhadgone,andtheexcited,happyradianceofherfacehad
paledtonumbdisillusionment."Goahead,Katy.It'sgettingcold.Goplayinthehouse,"Judesaid
tautly."Yes,sir."Katytossedanapologeticglanceattheolderwomanandreluctantlyturnedback
towardthebarn.BesssatstraightinthesaddleandmetJude'shardeyes."Where'sCrystal?""Backat
thehouse,wonderingwhyherdamnedstepsistercan'tspareafewminutestotalktoher,"hesaid
coldly.

Youtookherintoyourstudyandclosedthedoor,"sheremindedhim."Iassumedthatmeantyou
wantedprivacy,andKatywantedtogoriding.""Didn'tyoumindthatIclosedthedoor?"heasked
withawatchfulexpression.Shehad,butshewasn'tgoingtolethimknowthat.Sheshookherhead.
"Dowhatyouplease,Jude.Idon'thavetherighttosayanything."Helookedasifshe'dhithim.She
coaxedhermountforward,buthisleanhandshotoutandjerkedthebridle,haltingher."ForGod's
sake,stoplookinglikealostorphan,"hesaidharshly."Iamanorphan,"shesaidquietly,searching
hishard,shadowedeyes."AndIfeellost.""Bess...damnyou!"Hewasoutofthesaddlebeforeshe
couldblink,reachinguptopullherdownwithhim.Andevenasshelookedup,stunned,hismouth
wentdowntotaketotal,absolutepossessionofhers.

"No,don'tfightme,"hewhisperedurgentlywhensheputherhandsagainsthischest.Hismouth
softenedonhers,coaxing,teasing."Iwasn'tgoingto,"sheconfessed.Herfingersunbuttonedhis
shirt,veryslowly,whilehismouthteasedherlipsandhisbreathraspedagainstthem.Theshirtcame
openandherhandswentinsideit,againsthiswarmbody,spearingthroughcool,thickhairtofind
smooth,hardmuscles.Hismouthgrewharderwiththeroughcaressofherhands,andshefelthim
shudder.Hepickedherupandcarriedheroffthetrailtoanopenspaceunderahugeliveoak,where
leavescarpetedtheground,andhelaidherdown.Hishandsslidunderhertofindthezipperather
backwhilehismouthbrushedoverhers."I'll...I'llcatchcold,"shewhisperedshakilyashedrewthe
dressdownherarmsandremovedherbra.

"I'llkeepyouwarm,"hewhisperedback,andmovedsothathisbarechesteaseddownoverherown
bareness,hishandsgoingunderheragaintobringherbodyupagainsthisinawild,hungryrhythm.
ItwasbecauseofCrystal,shethoughtwildly,becausehewantedherbutcouldn'tforgethismarriage
vows,sohewasventinghispassiononBess.Butevenasshewasthinking,herhandsweretwining
throughhisblackhair,dislodginghishattogiveheraccesstoit.Herbodymovedwildlyagainsthis.
"Please,"shewhimperedagainsthisdevouringmouth,herhipsarchingunderhisinhelpless
invitation."KeepthatupandI'llhaveto,"hebitoff.Hishandswentdowntoherhips,grindingthem
intohis."Feelme?"hewhisperedroughly."Iwantyou,too,"shewhisperedback,herhandsfeverish
astheytuggedhisshirtloosefromhisjeansandwentunderittofindthehard,smoothmusclesofhis
back."Oh,Jude,Iwantyou,Iwantyou...!"

"Allthatfire,"hebreathedunsteadily,liftinghisheadsothathismouthcouldreachherhigh,
tremblingbreasts."That'sit,honey,thatsit,"hemurmuredwhenherbodyleanedtowardhim,helping
him,ashislipsdrewslowlybackandforthoversoftcurves,openandmoistandroughintheir
hunger."You'reburningmealive,Bess,doyouknowit?Ilookatyouandstartaching.Eversincelast
night,whenyouletmeseeallofyouandIwentcrazyandtookyou...Iwantyou,righthere,Bess.
Rightnow."

Hewasoutofcontrol.Totally,wildly,helplesslyoutofcontrol,andsowasshe.Itwasinsane;Katy
mightcomeback;anyoneofthemenmightridepast...!Butminuteslatertheirclotheswereoutofthe

way;itwasbitterlycoldbutneitherofthemfeltit,theyweresohungryforeachother.Heliftedheras
hisbodyoverwhelmedhersinthecoolsilenceofafternoon,andshegasped,hertinycrymerging
withbirdcallsfromthedistantmeadow.Hewatchedherintently,hiseyesblazing,cloudywithdesire
andrecklessness,hishandshurtingherastheyheldhernarrowhipstohis,hisheartbeatpoundingas
theworldseemedtocatchfirearoundthem.Sheheardhisvoicerepeatinghernameinafeverishrush
untilitsplinteredoverher,andshefelthimlosecontrol,completelyloseit,whileherownbody
tautenedandtautenedandfinallysnappedinagloriousfury.Hefoughttocatchhisbreath,hisface
buriedinthedamphairatherthroat."MyGod,we'rebothcrazy,"hesaidinavoicethatshook."It's
damnednearfreezing.Hereyeswereclosed,herhandsdelicatelystrokingthehairatthenapeofhis
neckwhileshesavoredthisonemomentofcloseness,lovinghimwithallherheart,delightinginhis
insanity,andherown.Hepulledhimselfawayandrearrangedhisclothing,keepinghisbacktoher
whileshegotbackintoherownthings.Shewasshakingsomuchshecouldhardlydoit,andhehadto
zipthedressbackintoplaceforher."Here,"hesaidgently,helpingherintotheleatherjacket."You're
trembling."Shewas,butitwasn'tfromcold."Thankyou,''shesaidsoftly.Sheforcedhereyesupto
his,shywithhimallatonce.Hisleanfingersbrushedhercheekandhelookedatherstrangely,
quietly.HebentandMsmouthbrushedhersinakisssotenderthatitturnedherheartover."Every
man'sdream,"hewhispered."Aladyinpublicandawildcatinbed."Sheblushed,andhesmiled,butit
wasadifferentkindofsmilethanithadbeenbefore.Butonlyforaninstant.Hegottohisfeetand
pulledherupwithhim."Inthemiddleofthebridlepath,"hemused,glancingdownatthedisordered
leaveswherethey'dbeentogether."MyGod."Shewaspullingleavesoutofherhairwithtrembling
hands."They'llmissus,"shesaidshakily."Youweretheonewhowantedababy,"hesaid,alltheold
sarcasmbackashestaredather."I'monlytryingtooblige."Sheturnedaway,feelingemptyallover
againatthesarcasminhisvoice."Wasthatwhy?"sheaskedcoolly."Ithoughtyoumighthavegone
wildoverCrystalandwerelookingforrelief."Thelookonhisfacewasarevelation.Heglaredat
herback."AndwhydoyouthinkIwouldn'tlookforitwithCrystal?"hetaunted."Shemightnotmind
thescarsinthedark,youknow,andshe'snotinhibited,either."Herfaceblazedwildly.Shewhirled.
"Thenwhydon'tyoutryyourluck,RawhideMan?"shechallengedwithburningeyesandacool
smile."Shelikesmenwithmoney.""Allthebetter,ifshegivesfullvalueforit,"hereturned.He
movedtowardhishorse."NevermindwhatIsaidaboutmovingintomyroomandsleepingwithme,"
hesaidwhenhewasmountedandhishatwasbackinplace.''Youmightcrampmystyle.''Shefeltasif
shemightexplode.Butwithaneffortshecontrolledherselfandgotbackintothesaddle,grippingthe
reinstightly."It'sjustaswell,"shesaid."Youprobablysnore."Helookedasifshe'dsurprisedhim,
andhelaughedunexpectedly.Butbeforehecouldsayanythingsheturnedthehorseandcoaxeditinto
acanter.Shecouldn'thandleanymoresarcasmfromhimrightnow,oranymorethreatsabout
Crystal.Shewashurtingtoomuch.

ChapterEight

ThateveningatthedinnertableitwaslikeoldtimesforBessasshesatquietly,pickingatherfood,
whileCrystalheldcourt.Herstepsisterwascharming,therewasnodoubtaboutthat,shethought
miserablyasshewatchedher.AndJudewasrespondingtoallthatblondcharmlikeablindmanjust
abletosee."Wantsomemorecorn,Bess?"Katyasked,soundingconcerned.Sheshookherheadand
evenmanagedaconvincingsmile."No,thankyou,darling."

"Daddywasn'tmadatyouforgoingridinginyourdress,washe?"Katyaskedunderherbreath.
Rememberinghowithadbeeninthewoods,Bessflushedtotherootsofherhair."Uh,no,"she
whispered,andturnedhertotalattentiontoherplate."Bess,Isaid,'DoyouremembertheCochrans?'"
Crystalrepeated."IranintothemonthecoastofFranceearlyintheyear.Bert'sincollege,canyou
imagine?""That'sverynice,"Besssaid,refusingtobedrawnintotheconversation.Whatwastheuse
anyway?ItwasJudeCrystalwantedtotalkto,nother.Sheexcusedherselfassoonasshecouldand
wentupstairswithKaty,whileJudewatchedherfromhischairwithanintentstare.Thatnightsetthe
patternforthenextfewweeks,asCrystalsettledinandenlistedJude'saidingettingheraffairsin
order.Apparentlyshe'dinvestedsomeofhersmallinheritancefromCarlaandneededadviceonhow
toplaythemarket.Itwasaniceexcuse,Bessthoughtangrily,forhertogetude'sattentionasshe
askedhimquestionafterquestionaboutfinanceandinvestments.Forhispart,Judeseemedtospend
mostofhistimeawayfromhomeonbusiness,andifhespoketoBessatall,itwascurtly,reluctantly.
Hehardlyeverlookedatherthesedays,whilehelaughedandteasedCrystalasif...asifshewerehis
realwife."Whatisitlike,livingwithJude?"Crystalaskedunexpectedlyoneafternoonduringarare
fewminutestogether.Bessglancedatherwarily."Whydoyouask?""I'mjustmakingconversation.
Ortryingto,"cametheexasperatedreply."Bess,I'vebeenherejustshyofamonth,andwehaven't
reallytalkedyet!Can'twecommunicatewitheachother?Ifit'sbecauseofCarla,IrealizeIshould
haveshoulderedmoreresponsibility,butit'sagestoolatenow.Ican'thelpitthatIwasspoiledmy
wholelife,canI?"Besslookedaway.She'dhavelovedalittleofthespoilingthathadalwaysgoneto
Crystal,withherfinelyhonedbeauty."Beingbeautifulhasitsadvantages,"shemurmured.

"Anditsdisadvantages,"camethebitterreply."HasiteveroccurredtoyouthatIneverknowwhereI
amwithmen?Whethertheywantmebecauseofme,orbecauseofhowIlook?Beautydoesn'tlast,
Bess.It'sgoneinsuchashorttime.AndIdon'thaveanythingtoshowforallmine.Notahusbandor
childrenorafutureIwanttolookforwardto."Doyouwantmyhusband?Bessalmostasked.She
sighedwearily."WhataboutyourFrenchcount?''Crystallookedaway,herfeaturesgoingrigid."I
hatehim."Bessalmostaskedwhathadgonewrong.Shealmostdid,butthereticenceofyearsmadeit
impossibleforhertogothatonesteptowardcamaraderie.Shedidn'tknowhowtoapproachCrystal.
She'dnevertried."You'llfindsomeoneelse,"Besssaidinstead."Wouldyoulikesomecoffee?"
Crystallookedatherasifshedesperatelywantedtosaysomething,butBess'spracticedcoolness
wasn'tencouraging.Shelaughedshortly."Sure,I'dlovesome,isJudecominghome,bytheway?"
Bessfroze."Inafewdays,Isuppose.I'llhaveAggiefixatray,"shemurmuredasshe!lefttheroom.
"WhatdidIsaynow?"Crystalaskedthecoffeetablewithasadsmile.Besspausedinthehalltoget
herselfbacktogether.Whydidn'tCrystaljustgowithJudeifshewantedhiscompanysomuch?He'd
lether.Shelaugheduntiltearsrolled:downhercheeks.He'dletCrystalgoanywherewithhim,andat
thesametime,hewouldn'tnoticeBessifshedroppeddeadat|hisfeet!"Bess?"Crystal,hearingthe
unfamilarsoundofweeping,hadcometothedoorandwasstandingaghastatthesightofher
normallycomposedstepsisterintears.Bessdriedthetearswiththehemofher1blouse."Sorry,"she
muttered,"I...thinkaboutCarlasometimes,"shelied,lettingitgoatthat."Iknowyoumissher,
darling,'Crystalsaidgently.''Imisshertoo.Idon'tIrealizedjusthowmuchIcareduntilitwastolate
totellher.''

ShereachedouttowardBess,butdrewbackbeforeherfingerscouldmakecontact."Say,youdon't
reallymindmystaying,doyou?OrgettingJudetohelpmewiththisfinancialtangleI'min?""Of
coursenot,"Besssaidwithmagnificentcarelessness.Crystal,takingthestatementatfacevalue,
relaxed."Thankgoodness.Imean,Ihopedyouweren'tjealousoranything."Whichintimatedthatshe
hadreasontobe.Crystalcouldn'thavemissedthecoolnessbetweenhusbandandwife,thepointed
waytheyhadavoidedeachothereversincethatwildafternooninthewoods."I'llgetthecoffee,"Bess
saidtautly.Crystalstaredafterherquietly.Herlovelyfacewasstrained.ThedayJudecamehome
KatyandAggiehadgonewithCrystaltoshopinSanAntonio.Besswassittingintheporchswing
alonewhenhedroveup,andherstupidheartwentwildatthesightofhim.Hewalkedupthestepsas
ifhewasbonetired,hisattache'caseheldfirmlyinoneleanhand.

"Isn'titalittleearlyintheyearforswinging?"heaskedcurtly.Shewaswearinghisleatherjacket
withjeansthat,strangelyenough,wouldn'tfastenatthewaist,andapaleyellowsweater.Herhairwas
inaFrenchtwist.Shehadn'tnoticedthecold."Ilikeswinging,"shereturned."Yes,Iremember,"he
murmured,watchingherclosely."Where'sCrystal?"Herfaceclosedupandshestaredoutoverthe
bleaklandscape."GoneshoppingwithAggieandKaty."Hisfingerscontractedonthehandleofthe
case."Damnit,whydoyoudothat?"hegroundout.Sheglancedupathim,startled."Dowhat?"
"CloseuplikeaflowerwheneverIcomeclose,"hesaid.Hiseyessweptoverherface."DoyouthinkI
haven'tnoticed?Icanwalkintoaroomwhenyou'replayingandlaughingwithKaty,andthecolor
drainsoutofyouthesecondyoucatchsightofme."Sheloweredhereyestohischest."Whatdoyou
expectmetodo,runtoyou?"

Hewasrigidforaninstant,hiseyesnarrowed."Ican'timagineyoudoingthat,"hesaidheavily.Heset
thecasedownonthesetteeandeasedhimselfdownbesideBess,lightingacigaretteontheway.The
feelofhimsoclosewasunnerving.Ithadbeenweekssincehe'dtouchedher,sinceshe'dbeennear
himphysically.Shehadtoclenchherhandsinherlaptohidehernervousness."Youusedtospend
quitealotoftimeouthereinthesummer,"heremarked,leaningbacktorocktheswingbackinto
motion."God,youwereaprettylittlething,alllongtannedlegsandsmiles."Helookeddownather
assessingly."Awayfromyourstepsister,youblossomed.Buttheminuteyougotinthesameroom
withher,youturneditalloff.You'restilldoingit.""HowcanIcompetewithsomeonewholookslike
Crystal?"sheasked,asifshedidn'tmind.Hereyesstudiedherfoldedhands."Shecouldcharma
dragon.""Isupposeshecould.Butitisn'tbecauseshe'sbeautiful,Bess,"hesaid."It'sbecauseshehasa
bubblypersonality.Shereachesout."

"Isthatadigatme?"sheaskedcurtly,glancingup."Youdon'treachoutatall,"hereturned."You
neverhave.Isthatwhyyou'resoeatenupwithenvythatyoucan'tevenstayinthesameroomwith
Crystal?Becauseshecancommunicateandyoucan't?"Shehatedthatmockingsmile.Shehatedwhat
hewassaying.Herhandliftedtowardhisfacewithoutherbeingawarethatithadmoved.Hecaught
herwrist,andafierceheatblazedinhisgreeneyes,inthehalf-amusedsmileonhisdarkface."Didit
hurt?"heaskedcurtly."Letgoofme,yousavage,''shebreathedfuriously,hereyesglittering,her
facebrightwithangerandfrustration.Helaughedharshlyashejerkedheracrosshislapandheldher
theredespiteherstruggles.Hepitchedtheunfinishedcigaretteofftheedgeoftheporchandwrapped

hertightlyinhisarms."Jude!"sheprotested,wriggling.

"Keepthatup,honey,"hebreathedunsteadilyinherear,"andwe'llwindupthewaywewereinthe
woodsthatday.Can'tyoufeelwhat'shappeningtome?"Shewasstillinstantlyasthefeelofhisbody
gotthroughtoher.Shelayquietlyinhisarms,awareofthesharptangofhiscologne,thecleansmell
ofhim,thewarmthofhisbodyasheheldher.Thehandcurledaroundherwristwasstrongand
bruising.Thearmatherbackwasjustassteely.Andshewasawashinsensation.Helaughedsoftlyat
herembarrassment,andhereleasedherwristtotiltherfaceuptohishardeyes."Societygirl,"he
growled,studyingherquietbodyinhisarms."Doyouhateithere?Doyouhatelivingwithaman
whocan'treciteShakespeareanddiscussthelatestbestsellerwithyou?"Shegapedathim,stunned.
"You'recollegeeducated,"shemanaged."Itookmydegreeinbusiness,withaminorineconomics,"
heremindedher."Ididn'thavetimeforthearts."

Shesearchedhiseyesindeadsilence."I...Idon'thavemuchtimeforreadingthesedays,andIcan't...
reciteShakespeare,either."Heseemedtohesitate,andthefingersholdingherchinrelaxed,became
caressing."DoIknowyouatall?"hewonderedquietly.Herlipspartedonarushofbreath."Probably
not,andwhatdifferencedoesitmake?YouwantedamotherforKatyandmyshareofthestock.Isn't
thatenough?""Apparentlyitisforyou,"hesaid,hisvoicecutting.Hesearchedhereyes."Youcando
withoutmeverywell,can'tyou,honey?"Hereyesfelltohisjuttingchin."You'vebeenavoidingme
justashard,"shesaidcurtly."DoyoumissmewhenIgoaway?"hechallenged.Hetiltedherchin
backupandsearchedhershadowyeyes."No,hell,no,youdon't.""WhyshouldI?"shedemanded,her
voicebreaking.

Hisfacehardenedandacurtainfelloverhisdarkeningeyes."Ihaven'tbeenparticularlykindtoyou,
haveI,Bess?"heaskedafteraminute."Draggingyououthere,forcingyouintoamarriageyou
didn'twant,andforallthewrongreasons."Hisfingerstouchedherlipsgently,softly,andhelooked
atherasifhe'dnevertakenthetroubletoreallyseeherbefore."Married,butnotmarried.""Andwith
nowayout,"shesaidwithawearysigh."Yes."Hisvoicewascurt,asifhedidn'tlikeadmittingthat.
"Andupuntilnowneitherofushasmadeanyefforttoliveuptoourvows,havewe?"Shestudied
himwarily."Ihaven'tcheatedonyou,"hesaidcoldly,"ifthat'swhatthatsearchinglittlelookwasall
about.TheonlywomanI'vehadsincewemarriedwasyou."Sheblushedandlookedaway.Hishand
movedintothethicknessofhairathernapeandstrokeditgentry."Eventhatwasn'tmuchtolookback
on,wasit?"heaskedbitterly."Bothtimes,Igaveyouhellafterwards.""I'msorryIwassucha
disappointment,"shesaidcoldly."You'veneverdisappointedme,"hesaidunderhisbreath."Not
ever."Thatbroughthereyeswaveringuptohisandheldthem."Iwaslikeaboywithyou,"he
breathed,grindingoutthewords."Icouldn'tstop,Icouldn'tcontrolwhatIfelt.You...mademe
vulnerable,andIhatedyouforit."Hereyessearchedhis,andshecouldhardlybelievewhathewas
admitting."Me?""You."Hishandstrokedherthroat,thenmoveddownoverthesoftnessofthe
sweater,touchingherhesitantlywithfingersthatwereunexpectedlygentle."It'sbeenlikethissinceI
carriedyououtofthedarknessthatnightyouwerefifteen,Bess,"hesaidquietly,holdinghereyes."If
I'dkissedyouthatnight,we'dhavegoneforeachotherlikestarvingwolves.Westartburningupthe

minutewetouch.Yousee?"hebreathed,runninghisfingerslightlyoverthetautthrustofherbreasts,
droppinghiseyestothem."Inbroaddaylight..."

Yes,sheknew.Somethinginsideherhadalwaysknownhowmuchhewantedher.Butitwasonly
desire,andthatwasn'twhatshewanted.Shewantedlove.Hisfingerswereunderthesweaternow,on
bareflesh,andhewaswatchingherastheymovedup."Nobra,Bess?"heaskedashishandbrushed
lightlyoverwarm,swollenflesh.Herbrasweretootight,andshehadn'thadtimetoreplacethem,but
shewasn'tgoingtotellhimthat.Shecaughthiswristastheoldfamiliarweaknessbegantosmother
her."Jude,don't,"shepleaded,removinghishand."You'remine,"hesaidcurtly."Allofyou.Why
shouldn'tItouchyouwhenIwantto?"Herlowerliptrembled."What'sthematter,Jude,haveyoubeen
missingCrystal'scompanysomuchthatevenIcanstandinforher?"sheburstout.

Hefroze.Ablackscowldarkenedhisface."Whatdidyousay?""Youwanther,don'tyou?"she
whispered."Evenifyouhaven'tmadelovetoheryet."Hischiseledlipsparted."Areyoujealousof
me?"heaskedslowly.Hereyesfelltohischin."Letmego,please.""No,notyet.Answerme.Areyou
jealous?"Herlongeyelashessweptdownoverhercheeksandsherelaxedagainsthimwithaweary
sigh.Herhandrestedagainstthevestbeneathhisjacket,andhewaspleasantlywarmagainstthechill.
"AskmewhyIspendtimewithCrystalandI'lltellyou,"hesaidoverherhead.Butshedidn'twantthe
answer.Shedidn'twanttoknow.Impulsively,uncharacteristically,sheletherheadslidebackontohis
shoulderandcurvedanarmuparoundhisneck.Helookedasifshe'dhithim.Shefelttheadvantage
andtookit,smilingbreathlesslyatthelookinhisglitteringeyes.Herlipspartedandsheranher
fingersthroughhisthickhair,carelesslydislodgingthehatasshedid.Therecklessnessshefeltwas
mirroredinhishardface."Isthiswhatyoufelt?"heaskedcurtly,windinghisownhandintoherhair
tojerkherheadback."This,Bess?"Hismouthopenedonhers,forcingherlipsapart,penetrating
deeplyinanassaultthatwasallwildtenderness.Shearchedinhisarms,bothhandsinhishairnow,
hermouthansweringhis,demanding,needing.Theswingstoppedandwasstill.Hishandsslidunder
thesweateragainandtookthewarm,swollenweightofherbreasts.Shetrembledandmoaned
sharply.Heliftedhisdarkheadslowly,staringdownintoherhungryeyes.Histhumbsedgedoverthe
tautpeaksinalazy,maddeningrhythm,andallthetimehelookedather,watchingherhelpless
reactiontohim."Whenaretheycomingback?"heaskedinavoicethatsoundedunusuallythick.She
lickedherlips."Idon'tknow."Hebentandbrushedheropenmouthwithhis."Wecouldlockthe
bedroomdoor,"hewhispered.

"Yes."Shearchedagain,cryingout,asthepressureofhishandsincreased.Shewasunusuallysore,
andhedrewbackinstantly."DidIhurtyou?"heaskedtenderly."I...I'msore,"shesaid,andlaughed
nervously."Idon'tknowwhy.""I'llbecarefulwithyou,"hesaid,studyinghereyes."I'llbegentlethis
time,I'lltakelonger.I'lltreatyoulikethevirginyouwerethatfirsttime,Bess."Shetrembledsoftlyin
hisarmsasheslowlygotupfromtheswing,cradlingheragainsthim."You...laughedthefirsttime,"
sherememberedshakily."Youwerewildfireinmyarms,blazingwiththepleasurethatIwasgiving
you,"hesaidquietly."MyGod,Iwassoproud...youwereavirgin,andIwasmakingyoufeelthat
way."Shecaughtherbreath."Ididn'tknow.""Icouldn'ttellyou."Hebentandkissedhersoftly."Do
youreallywantmethistime?"Herlipspartedonawildbreath."Oh,yes,Iwantyou,"shewhispered

feverishly.

Herarmslockedaroundhisneckandshetrembled."Jude,"shemoaned,archingup.Hiseyesflashed
ashewalkedintothehousewithher.Insidethedoorwayhebent,hisopenmouthpressingdownon
thehighmoundsofherbreastseventhroughthefabric,andshecriedout.Hisheartwasthunderingas
hewalkedwithhertowardthestaircase,andshefeltthesamewildnessthey'dsharedthatdayinthe
woods.Hemightnotloveher,buthewantedher.Hewantedher!And,God,shewantedhim!Buteven
ashisboottouchedthefirststep,theloudsoundofacarapproachingburstintothesilence,andJude
cursedroughly."Notnow,"hegroundout,buryinghisfaceagainstBess."Oh,God,notnow!"Her
handscradledhisheadandshestruggledtoregainherlostcomposure.Slowlyheputherdown,
regretandbitternessminglingintheexpressiononhishardface.Sheturnedaway,tidyingherhairas
bestshecouldwithherbacktohim."Bess?"heaskedsoftly.

Butbeforeshecouldanswerhim,thedoorburstopenandKatyandCrystaldescendedonthemina
swirlofskirtsandlaughter."Soyou'refinallyback,"Crystalcalled,followingKaty'sexampleasshe
ranintohisarmsandkissedhistannedcheeksoundly."Abouttime,too.We'vemissedyou,haven't
we,girls?""Si,wemissthesoundofyellingfromthestudy,allright,"Aggiemurmuredwithagrin
asshecarriedpackagesintothelivingroom."Welcomehome,Daddy!"Katylaughed.Jude,caughtup
init,waslaughingtoo,hisfacemorerelaxedthanBesshadeverseenit,andshemournedthelittle
tasteofhappinessshe'djustlost.SheturnedandwalkedofftowardthekitchenasJudewascoaxed
intothelivingroomtolookatthepurchases."Don'tyouwanttoseewhattheybought?"Judeasked
Bess.Shestoppedwithherbacktothem,blindtothehopefullookonhisface,thealmostpleading
oneonCrystal's.

"Ineedsomecoffee.I'llmakeapot,shallI?"sheaskedbrightly,andwalkedawaybeforetheycould
questionthequaverinhervoice.Bessdidn'tlookatJudefortherestofthenight;shecouldn'tbearto
rememberhowshe'dtemptedhim.Hewasgoingtobefuriousaboutthat.Healwayswaswhenhis
fieryardorcooled.Shekeptcarefullyoutofhiswayuntilshecouldsneakupstairsandgotobed.
"Whydidn'tyougowithustoday?"KatyaskedasBesstuckedherintobed."Wemissedyou.Crystal
saidweshouldhavedraggedyoualongandmadeyoucome.""Ihadtilingstodohere,darling,"Bess
saidwithasmile."I'mgladyouhadfun,though.""Ididn't.Notreally,"Katyadmitted.Shereachedup
andkissedBess'scoolcheek."Crystalisfuntobewith,butshejusttalksallthetime,likeshe'safraid
tostop,sonobodyelseevergetsto.Youknow?Youlisten."Bess'seyesclouded.Shekissedtheyoung
girlback.'Iloveyou,''shewhispered.

Katybeamed."Iloveyou,too.Goodnight,Bess.Isn'titnicethatDaddy'shome?""Lovely,darling."
"Hesaidhe'dbeuptotuckmeinlater.HehadtotalktoCrystal."Bessnodded,turningawaybefore
Katycouldseeherhurtexpression."Goodnight,darling.""'Night,Bess,sleepwell."Backinherown
room,Bessputonherflannelgownandcrawledwearilyintobed.Shefeltvaguelynauseated,andthe
swellinginherbreastswasbeginningtobeuncomfortable.Somethingthatshouldhavehappened

threeweeksagohadn't,andshefeltfranklynervous.Itwastoosoontotell,ofcourse,butshehadan
oddfeelingthatshewascarryingJude'sbaby.Herhandswentunconsciouslytoherflatstomach.A
baby.Alittleboywithgreeneyesandblackhair,oralittlegirlwhomightlookalotlikeKaty.She
smiled.EvenifshelostJude,atleastshe'dhavethebabytolove.Shecouldgiveitallthewarmthand
adorationshelongedtogivetohim.Exceptthathedidn'twantit.Heonlywantedherbody,andnot
eventhatwhenCrystalwasaround.WhatifCrystaldidwanthim?Shewasplayinghercardsclose,
andBesscouldn'tfigureoutwhyshewasstayingatBigMes-quitesolong.Whywouldn'tshegoback
toOakgrove,ortoFrance,orsomewhere?Butitwouldbeimpolitetoaskhertoleave.Shelaughed
shortly.Judewouldneverlethergoanyway.He...caredabouther.Helaughedwithher.Shehitthe
pillowwithanangryfist.Whycouldn'thelaughwithBesslikethat?Evenasshewassilentlyasking
thequestion,thedooropenedandJudewalkedin.Hewaswearinghissuitslacks,butonlyapartially
unbuttonedwhiteshirtwiththem.Andhelookedoddlytired.Worn-out."Yes?"sheaskedcoldly.He
laughedshortly."Sowe'rebacktothat,arewe?"heaskedquietly."Themaskisinplace,thebarriers
areup.Ican'tgetnearyou.""Can'tyou?"sheaskedbitterly."Physically,yes,"heagreed.Herammed
hishandsintohispocketsandwenttostandbesidethebed,lookingdownathertousledhairand
flushedfacewithstrange,lingeringeyes."Thatwasallyouwanted,wasn'tit?"sheasked."Atfirst."
Hiseyessearchedherface."Imusthavehurtyouahellofalotthosefirstfewweeks.""Don'tworry,
Jude,I'masurvivor,"shereplied,loweringhereyestothecoverlet.Hesatdownonthebed,tiltingthe
mattresswithhisweight,andshecringedawayfromhim."Oh,God,don'tdothat,"hegroundout,
wincing."Bess,Iwon'thurtyou.Iwon'teventouchyouifyoudon'twantit."Sherelaxedalittle,but
shewasstilltense,anditshowed."Whatdoyouwant?"sheaskedunsteadily."Whataquestion."He
pulledacigarettefromhispocketandglancedather."Doyoumind?"Sheshookherhead.Helitit
androsetoproduceanashtrayfromthedresserbeforehesatdownagain."Bess,wecan'tgoonlike
this."Coldsensationsworkeddownherbackbone."Youwantadivorce?"sheasked."No!"heburst
out,scowling."ForGod'ssake,Itoldyouatthebeginningthatitwasn'tgoingtobeafly-by-night
marriage.""Yes,ofcourse,"shewhispered.Hedrewonthecigarette."Imeant,we'vegottostart
trying.Bothofus.Doingthingstogether,livinglikemarriedpeople.We'vegottostopmakingour
livesandKaty'sabattleground."Katy.Ofcourse.HewasworryingaboutKaty,asusual.Shefolded
herhandsandstaredatthem."Whatdoyousuggest?"

Helookeddownather."Youcouldstartsleepingwithme.""Willyourbedholdallthreeofus?"she
askedvenomously.Hiseyesflashed."I'lltellyouonemoretime.Iamnotsleepingwithyoursister,"
hesaidcoldly."Mystepsister,"shecorrected.

erananangryhandthroughhisthickhair."MyGod,can'tweeventalkwithoutarguing?"Herface
wasicy,butshekepthermouthshut."Bess,meetmehalfway,"hesaidsoftly,glancingather."You
can'tknowhowhardthisisforme.I'mpainfullyawareofhowI'vetreatedyou.Butatleastmakethe
effort,can'tyou?"Shewatchedhimcuriously.Shewonderedatthischangeinhim.Orwasitjust
anothertrick,anotherwaytomakeherpayforforcinghimintoamarriagehedidn'twant?"Youdon't
trustme,doyou?"heaskedlevelly."HowcanI?"sheaskedhonestly."Everytimeyouletmeget
close,youfindsomenastywayofgettingatme,ofmakingmepayforwhatyouconsideryour
weakness."Hebenthisheadandsmokedhiscigarettequietly."Yes,"hesaidfinally."IsupposeIdo.
NexttoKaty,you'retheonlyweaknessI'veeverdiscovered,societygirl."Helaughedbitterly.

"Andyouhatethat,"shemuttered."Youhatebeingoutofcontrolinanyway.''"Don'tyou?"Helifted
hishead,watchingher."Youfoughteveryinchofthewaythatfirsttimewithme,nottogivein,notto
letmepleaseyou.Butithappenedanyway,andyouwereangry,justasIwas."Sheloweredhereyesto
hischest."Iwastheonewhopaidforit,"shemurmured."Yes,"hesaidcurtly."Ihurtyou.Imeantto.
Butitbackfired,inwaysyoucan'timagine."Hebentoverher,holdinghereyes."Butallthataside,we
can'tgoonlikethis.Avoidingeachother,cuttingateachother.We'remarried,Bess,forgood.We've
gottopickupthepiecesandmakeagoofit.""ThensendCrystalaway,"shesaidcoldly.Heliftedhis
chin."Isthatanultimatum?"heasked."Haveyoureachedthestagewhereyouthinkyoucangiveme
ordersbecauseyouknowIwantyou?"Sheswallowed."I'mnottryingtodothat."

"Itsureashellsoundslikeit."Hegottohisfeet,glaringdownather."I'llgohalfway,lady.ButIwon't
gothedistance.Whenyou'rereadytotalksense,youknowwheretofindme.""Sure,"sheagreed.
"Wherevermystepsisteris."Hegaveherahotglarebeforehewalkedoutthedoor,slammingit
behindhim.Besslaytherewithtearsrunningsilentlydownhercheeks.Whyhadn'tsheagreedtotry,
atleast?Whywereheremotionssohaywirethatshecouldn'teventalkrationally?Sheturnedherface
intothepillow.Itwasprobablyalljusttension.Justtension.Herbodywouldresumeitsnatural
rhythminnotime.Shewasn'tpregnant,shewasn't!Itwasalljustherownimagination.Asthedays
passed,Judeinvitedhertogoplaceswithhim:intotowntobuywire,onbrieftripstoneighboring
ranches,tosocialaffairs.Andsheturneddowneveryinvitationabruptlyandwithoutexplanation."My
God,Bess,won'tyoueventry?"hegrowledonenightinexasperation.

"Iamtrying.Tobeleftalone,"shereturned.Hesighedwearily,watchingherinanincreasingly
familiarway,onethatturnedherweak."OnedayI'mgoingtotakethechoicerightoutofyourhands,
honey,"hesaidinamenacinglysofttone."I'mgoingtocarryyouuptomybedandloveyououtof
yourmind.Thenwe'lltalk."Sheflushedandgotupoutofherchair."Aboutwhat?Abouthowyou
hatewantingme?"sheasked."Well,Idon'twantyou,Jude.Notanymore."Hemadeasuddenmove
towardher,andshebackedupagainstthedoor,wide-eyedandfrightened.Hescowleddarklyatthat
lookandhesitated."Icouldmakeyoubeg,"hesaidharshly.Didn'tsheknowit.Hereyesclosed.
"Whatwouldbethepoint?"shesaidgently."Ihaven'tmadeanytroublelately,haveI?I'vebeenpolite
andsweettoCrystal,andyouandIhaveputonagrandfront.Katythinkseverythingisjustfine."

esighedwearily."Bess,doyouhateme?"heaskedquietly.Shestudiedhisface,noticinghowtired
andwornhelooked,howsad."No,"shesaid."Idon'thateyou."Hemovedtowardherslowly."We
couldsleeptogether,"hesaid."Nosex.Justsleep.Wecouldtrytogetusedtoeachother."Butshe
couldn'tbearthat.Especiallynow.Becauseshewasbeginningtoloseherbreakfasteachmorning,and
Judewasn'tstupid.He'dknow.Sheswallowed."I...likesleepingalone,"shewhispered."That'sthe
wholedamnedproblemwithourmarriage,"hesaidcurtly."Youlikedoingeverythingalone!""Well,
Ididn'tdragyououthereandforceyoutomarryme!"sheburstout,tearswellingupinhereyes.He
reachedoutanddraggedherintohisarms,holdingherclose,rockingherlikeachild."Hush,honey,"
hewhispered."Hush,now,don'tcry.Don't.Pleasedon't."Hishandsoothedhercheek,herhair.His

lipstouchedherforehead,hercheeks,thecornerofhertear-washedmouth."Don'tcry,honey,Ican't
standit."Hewassotender.Tenderinawayheneverhadbeenbefore,andshereactedtoithelplessly,
lettinghimdryhertearswithhishandkerchief."Sotrusting,"hebreathed,studyinghereyes."You
usedtolookatmelikethatonce.Intheverybeginning.AndIcutyoulikeawhip,didn'tI?"She
droppedhereyestohischest."Youdidn'twanttomarryme.Iunderstood."

Hishandscaughthershouldersandheldthembruisinglytight."Ididn'twanttomarryanyone.ButI
wantedyousodamnedmuch.I'dwantedyouforyears.AndonceIhadyou,allIcouldthinkaboutwas
havingyouagain."Heleanedhisforeheadagainstherswithawearysigh."Bess,Igetupwantingyou
inthemorningandIgotobedwantingyouatnight.Isn'tthatrevengeenoughforyou?"Itwas.Oh,
yes,itwas.Butshedidn'tthinkshecouldbeartobeintimatewithhimagainwhenhedidn'tloveher.

"I'msotired,Jude,"shewhispered."Ineedtosleep."Hedrewaway,studyingher."Youreallydon't
wantmeanymore?"heaskedquietly.Grittingherteeth,sheslowlyshookherhead.Helethergo
finallywitharoughlaughandturnedaway."I'mnotevensurprised.Womenhaven'tmadeahabitof
wantingme."HewasatthedoorwhensherememberedEliseandthescarsandallthetormenthe'd
sustainedatthehandsofwomenwhodidn'twanthim."Jude!"shecried.Buthewouldn'tlookather.'
'Gotosleep,Bess.Iwon'tbotheryouagain."Andwiththatmockingremark,hewentoutandclosed
thedoorbetweenthem.

ChapterNine

ThenextmorningCrystalwasatthebreakfasttablewhenBessgotthere,sittingnexttoJudeand
apparentlyflirtingforallshewasworth."Thereyouare,finally,"Crystalchided."Ithoughtyouwere
goingtospendthedayinbed."Actually,she'dbeeninthebathroom,notinbed,feelingsickerthan
usualfirstthinginthemorning.Butitwouldn'tdotoletthatout,soshesmiledinstead."Iwassleepy,"
shetoldherstepsister."Hi,Katy,"sheadded,winkingattheyounggirl.Jude,sheignored.

"CrystalwantstogoandseetheAlamothismorning,"hesaid,forcinghertolookathim."You'll
havefun,I'msure,"sherepliedcoolly."YouandKatyarecoming,too,"hecontinued,finishinghis
eggs."No,I'mnot,"Bessreplied."Idon'tfeellikehikingarounddowntown."Hiseyesnarrowed."I
said,you'recom-mg."Now,Bess,don'tspoilthedayfortherestofus,"Crystalcoaxed,andshook
backherglorioushair."YouweretellingKatytheotherdaythatyouwantedtoseeit.Whynottoday?"
Besscouldhavetoldherstepsisterwhynot,butshebithertongueandsippedhercoffeeinstead."All
right,"shesaidfinally."You'lllikeit,honestyouwill,"Katypromised."YouandIwillgoaroundthe
groundsandI'llshowyouthisneatoldsquirrelwhoposesforpictures.''"Sheisn'tkidding,"Judesaid
withaquietsmile."He'sanoldsquirrel,andheactuallywillstandstillwhenhe'sphotographed."

"Haveyoutakenhisphoto,Jude?"Crystalasked."No,butmyofficeisneartheAlamogrounds.
Sometimes,inthespring,Iwalkaroundthereatlunchtimeonmywaytoarestaurant."Bessstudied
hishardfaceashesmiledbackatCrystal,andshewishedthathe'dsmileatherlikethat.Butitwasn't
goodtoliveinadreamworld,shetoldherself,andfinishedherbreakfast.TheAlamoPlazawas
locatednearthehistoricMengerHotel,andBesswassurprisedbytheimmensityofitsgrounds,
whichincludedpavedwalkwaysandbenchesandtablesaswellasbuildings,alldedicatedtothe
preservationoftheoldmission'shistory.ThesecondstonechurchofMissionSanAntoniodeValero
stoodwithancientdignity,flankedbygatesoneitherside,whichledtotherestofthecompound.Bess
touchedthescarredstonewithfingersthattrembledasshefeltthebraveryandtormentofthe180-odd
menwhohaddiedthereonecoldMarchdayin1836.Hereyesmovedupanddownitwithquietawe
asshetriedtoimaginewhatitwouldhavebeenliketofacecertaindeathatthehandsofSantaAnna's
overwhelmingMexicanforces."SixofthemenwhodiedherewereGeorgians,includingBowie,
thoughsomepeoplesayhewasactuallyfromKentucky,"Judetoldher,movingtoherside.She
glancedup."Really?""SomewerefromIrelandandEnglandandGermany.TraviswasfromSouth
Carolina,CrockettfromTennessee."Hisownleanhandtouchedthesurfaceofthebuilding."Theyleft
usquitealegacy.Ittakesaspecialkindofcouragetofacedeathinthewaytheyfacedit.""Theywere
specialmen,"shemurmured."Andusedtoseeingdeath,"headded."Theylivedinhardtimes,without
anyoftheluxurieswetakeforgrantedtoday.Theywereveteranfightersforthemostpart."

"I'vereadseveralbooksaboutthesiege,"shementioned."Mostofthemdisagreeonhowmanymen
diedhere,"sheadded."Therewereeyewitnessaccountsbythosewhosurvivedit,"heremindedher.
"Theygivethebestchronology.Comehere."Heledherinsideandpointedouttheroomwherethe
powderandshothadbeenkeptandwhereJimBowiehadlainonhiscotwhentheenemybrokein.
Anotherlargeroomwasrailedoffwithwroughtiron,andflagswereplacedinside."Someofthat
graffitionthewallisveryold,"heexplained,whileshetriedtodeciphertheagedscribbling.There
werepaintingsonthewalldepictingthetwo-hourbattlewhenMexicantroopshadoverranthewalls,
andweaponsunderglasscases,alongwithothermemorabilia.Thestonefloor,headded,wasalater
addition.TheflooroftheAlamohadbeendirtatthetimeoftheactualbattle.Shestoodbytherear
exitandshivered,lookingupattheceiling,listeningsilentlytotheechoasatourguideoutlinedthe
daysofthesiegeandthefinalbattle.

"Cold?"Judeaskedgently.Sheshookherhead."It'sjust..."Shelookedathimhelplessly."I'veread
abouttheAlamo,youknow,butactuallybeinghere...it'sverydifferent.It'smorethanpagesinabook
now.Ifeelstrange."Heslidanarmaroundheranddrewhercloseagainsthisside."Theyknewwhat
theyweredoing,"hesaid,glancingaround."Andwhytheyweredoingit.Itwaswhathappenedhere,
andatGoliad,thatunitedTexansintotheforcethatwonvictorywithSamHoustonatSanJacinto.And
thatledtoTexasindependenceandstatehood.Allbecauseahandfulofmenwouldn'traiseawhite
flag."Heglanceddownather."Eventhewomenhadspirit."Shelookedupathimandsmiledslowly,
softly.Herdarkeyessearchedhispalegreenones."Didthey?"Hisbreathcamequickly.Hisjaw
tautened."Bess--""Thereyouare,"Crystalinterrupted."Comeon,youtwo.Let'sgoseethe
souvenirs."TherewasahugeliveoakoutsidetheAlamo,itslimbsheldaloftwithchains,justinfront

oftheruinsoftheLongBarracks,wherethelaststandhadbeenmade.Judestillhadhisarmaround
Bessandshepressedcloserunconsciouslyasshestaredatthedarkeneddoorways."Idon'twanttogo
inthere,"shesaidquietly."Me,neither,"Katysaidfirmly."Let'sgoseethesquirrel,please."Crystal
onlyshrugged."IthinkI'drathergotothemuseum.Havetheygotturquoiseinthemuseumshop?I
loveturquoise."Sheledtheway,andBessdidn'targueaboutgoingtherefirst.Shewasinheavenso
closetoJude,andhedidn'tseemintheleastanxioustolethergo,either.Butoncetheywereinside,
therewassomuchtoseethatthetwoofthembecameseparated.Besswanderedaroundlookingatthe
manuscriptsandcoinsandhistoricalportraitsandgunsdisplayedinthebuilding,whileCrystaland
Katyhungaroundthegemstonesandsouvenirs.

CrystaltalkedJudeintobuyingheraridiculouslyexpensiveturquoisebracelet.Katyheboughta
"coonskin"cap."Whatdoyouwant,Mrs.Langston?"heaskedBess,hiseyestwinkling,andshe
realizedsuddenlythathewashappy,andthatshehadn'tseenhimthatwaybefore.Herlipsparted,and
shetriedtothink.Whatwouldshelikeifshehadonlyonetinymementooftheirtimetogether?
Something...''I'dlike...I'dlikearing,"shesaid.Hisfacebrightened,andhiseyesglimmereddownat
her."Aring?""Agemstoneone."Heledherovertothecounterandletherlook.Shepickedouta
silverbandwithinlaidturquoisewhich,whenthesalesladytookitoutoftheglasscase,fitherring
fingerexactly.Sheputhersimplegoldweddingbandonafteritandstaredatitlovingly.Judepaidfor
it,itwasn'tatenthasexpensiveasCrystal'swithacuriousfrown."Isthatallyouwant?"heasked,as
CrystalandBesswentoutthedoortowardthewishingwellinthecourtyard.

"Yes,"shesaid,staringatthenewring."Thankyou,Jude.""Youcouldhavehadasilverwedding
band,"hesaid."I...didn'tthinktoaskyou.""Itdidn'tmatter,"shesaidquietly."Ilikethisring.It's
simple,butithasagraceanddignitythatIdon'tassociatewithdiamonds.""You'reastrangelady."
"Whatdoesthatmakeyou?"sheasked,glancingup."Youmarriedme.""Yes,"hesaidabsently,
watchingher."Imarriedyou.""Butnotoutofchoice."Shedroppedhereyes."Aboutthemarriage,
Bess..."hebeganslowly."Don'tbother,"shesaidquickly."We'vebeenoveritandoverit,andnothing
everchanges.Weonlyargue.""Wemightnot,ifyou'dmeetmehalfway.Youmightruntowardme
forachange,insteadoffromme.""It'ssaferrunningfromyou,"shesaidsharply,glaringupathim.
"Ithurtsless!"

Hisfacepaledandhelookedbitter."IrealizeIhaven'tbeenparticularlykindtoyou.Incaseit's
escapedyournotice,I'mtryingdamnedhardnottohurtyouthesedays,butyou'redeterminednotto
makeiteasyforme."Shegapedathim."Areyoutrying?Iwouldn'tcallhangingaroundCrystal's
necktryingverydamnedhard!""Areyoujealous?Answermethistime."Sheturnedaway."Iamnot.
AndifIwere,I'ddiebeforeI'dletyouknowit.Idon'tgiveawaytroopmovementstotheenemy,Mr.
Langston,"sheadded,glaringbackathim."AmItheenemythesedays?"heasked."Whatdoyou
think?"Hesighedheavily."Itrynottothinkanymore,Bess."Katycamerunningbacktowardthem,
hereyesaglow."It'sthesquirrel.Hurry,Bess,there'samanfeedinghimnuts!"Themanwasstill
feedinghimnutswhenBessarrived,andthegrizzledoldsquirrelwastakingthemrightfromhis
hand.

"Ain'theacharacter?"theelderlymansaid,chucklingastherodenttookthenutfromhisfingers.
"Sureisahitwiththetourists.Theycan'tgetoverhowtameheis.""IwishIhadmycamera,"Bess
saidenthusiastically."Whatapicturehe'dmake."Obviouslyanothertouristfeltthesameway,because
shemovedforwardwitha35-mmcameraandclickedaway.Besshadthoughtthateveryonewould
wanttogohomeaftertheirexcursion,buttheywoundaroundthroughthedowntownarea,throughLa
Villitawithitsartsandcrafts,andontothePaseodelRio,theRiverWalk.TheysawtheArneson
RiverTheatre,withitsseatscarvedintothebank,andthedozensofrestaurantsandpubsalongthe
waywhereinthespringandsummertouristscouldsitoutsideandwatchtheriverrun.Besssighedas
shestrolledalongsideit,wishingthattheweatherwerewarmandshecouldsitanddaydreambyits
banks.Shewasalreadygettingtired,feelingherpregnancyinanewway.

udecaughtherarm."Wanttorestafewminutes?"heaskedgently.Shelookedup,surprisedbyhis
courtesy."Yes,Iwould,"sheconfessed.Hesmiledather."Justafewmorefeetandupthesteps."He
ledthemintoarestaurantoverlookingtheriver,thesameoneinwhichthey'doncearguedsofiercely.
Theywereseatedandhandedlong,impressivemenusbyacourteouswaiter.Besswasfeeling
strangelyhungry,sosheorderedprimerib.Judewatchedher,hiseyesoddlyprotective,while
Crystal,asusual,keptupananimatedflowofconversation.Shecontinueditallthroughthemeal,but
whentheystartedbacktowardJoske's,nearwhichtheyhadparkedthecar,itwasBess'sarmJude
took,notCrystal's.Itwasasifhewereafraidshemightgetawayfromhim.Whentheygotbacktothe
houseBesswentimmediatelytoherroomandlaydown.Shefelttiredtothebone,andalittle
nauseated.Butmostofall,shewasconfused.ConfusedastowhatJudewantedofher...whatshe
wantedherself.

ChapterTen

Bessfellasleepandwhensheawokeagainitwasdarkoutside.Sherolledoverontoherback,feeling
oddlycool,andsuddenlyrealizedthatshewaswearinganightgown.Sheblinked,staringatthe
ceiling.Hadshetakenthetimetoputiton?Thedooropenedwhileshewasgettingorientedagain,
andJudecameinwithatray."Awakeatlast,"hemurmured,puttingitdownonthebedsidetable.
"Aggiethoughtyouneededfeeding."Sheproppedherselfupagainstthepillowswithasoftsmile.
"I'mstarved,"sheadmitted.Shylysheglancedathim."Didyouputthisonme?"sheasked,pickingat
thesoftwhitelacygown."Youweresoundasleepinyourjeansandshirt,"heremarked,studyingher.
"Ithoughtyou'dbemorecomfortablethisway.""Iam.Thankyou.""Here,"hesaid,offeringhera
spoonfulofAggie'sspecialchickenandbroccolicrepe.Shetookit,savoringthecreamytaste,and
smiled."Delicious!"Shestartedtotakethespoonfromhim,butheignoredherandkeptonuntilhe'd
fedhereverybite."Wantsomedessert?"heasked."Aggiemadeanapplepie."Sheshookherhead."I
couldn'teatanotherbite!""Youlookasifyou'vegainedalittleweight,"hemurmuredasheputthe
plateaside."Yourjeansweren'tbuttoned.Onlyzipped."Shekepthernerve,butbarely."I'vebeen
eatingmorelately,"shelied."Besides,whatdoyoucareifIgainweight?Younevernotice."

Hisheadturnedback,andagainsthisthickblacklasheshiseyeswereunusuallygreen."Inotice
everythingaboutyou,"hesaidquietly."Everything.""Doyou?"Shedroppedhereyestohisshirt.
"ButyounoticeCrystalmore."Hisleanhandmovedtohercheek,turningherfacetowardhis.
"Crystalknowshowtoflirt,honey.You'veneverbotheredtolearn.""MeaningIshouldlearnfrom
her?"Hereyesglaredaccusinglyathim."Whatcouldshepossiblyteachmeexcepthowtobe
promiscuous?""Youdohateher,don'tyou?"heaskedwithnarrowingeyes.'Tsitreallybecauseshe
sleepsaround?.Orbecauseyou'rejealousofhersuccesswithmen?""Damnyou!"Hiseyessearched
hers."Howunladylike,Mrs.Langston,"hesaidwithamusement."Youknow,you'velostalotofyour
starchsinceyou'vebeenhere.You'restillalady,butyou'remorehuman."

"Lookwho'stalkingaboutbeinghuman,"shethrewback."Whatwouldyouknowaboutthat?""Isthat
aquestionoradare?"hemurmured.Heleaneddown,restinghisweightonhishandsoneitherside
ofher."Iaskedyouoncetosleepwithmeandyouturnedmedown.SupposeItakethechoiceaway
fromyou,thewayIdidbefore?"Shefeltherselfpanic.Shewasalltoovulnerabletohim.Shestill
neededtimetostraightenoutherfeelingsabouttheirmarriage."Pleasedon't,"shewhispered.He
lookedcalculating,notangryorparticularlydisappointed."IfIpromisedtobeverygentle?"he
whispered,searchinghereyesquietly."Nottohurt?"Shecouldfeelherselfweakening,becausethe
wayhewaslookingatherwasdifferentfromanywayhe'dlookedatherbefore.Shecouldhardly
breatheforthewildbeatingofherheart.Butshecouldn'tdowhathewantedhertodo.Notyet.

Sheloweredhereyes."I...don'tfeelthatwayanymore,Itoldyoulastnight,"shebitoff."Youtoldme.
Ijustdidn'tquitebelieveyou."Hestoodup,andhislookwasunnerving."Isitjustme,orareyou
frozencleanthrough?Damnit,youwantedmewhenwemarried.''"Yes,Idid,"shesaid."Andyou
threwitinmyfaceuntilIchokedonit!"Heturnedaway."IsupposeIdid,"hesaidwearily.Herana
handthroughhishair."Butonthefrontporch,whenyouweresittingintheswing...andthathasn't
beensolongago,lady."Sheavoidedhisaccusinggaze."Thatwasthen.Thisisnow.""What's
changed?""You!"sheburstout,glaringathim."Idon'tknowwhattomakeofyou.AndIjustdon't
daretrustwhatyousay.Firstyouforcemeintomarryingyou,butyoudon'twantanythingtodowith
me.Thenyouwantmeinbed,butyougooutofyourwaytohurtme.Nowyousayyouwanttomake
themarriagework.SometimesIthinkyouenjoytorturingme!""Isthatwhatitseemslike?"He
movedbacktothebedwithawearysigh."Bess,mustwefight?I'llbethefirsttoadmitthatI'vegiven
youplentyofreasonnottotrustme.Buttherehastobeacommonground.""Doesthere?"Shestared
atthecoverletblankly.Hetiltedherchinup."Youlookdifferentlately,"hemurmured,changingthe
subject."Yourfaceisrounder,yourbreastsarebigger."Hiseyeswentdowntothemandsheflushed.
"Thankyouforbringingupmysupper,"shesaid."Thankyouandgoodnight?"heasked.Hestoodup
andlaughedcurtly."Ihadyouinthepalmofmyhandonceuponatime,Bess.WhatapitythatIwas
toodamnedstupidtorealizewhatIwasholdinguntilitwastoolate."Hepickedupthetray."Getsome
rest,honey.Maybewe'lleventuallybeabletosortthingsout.""IsCrystalstillup?"sheaskedashe
startedtowardthedoor.

Heglancedbackather,lookingstrangelypleased."Yes,asamatteroffact,sheis.Jealous,honey?"
Shewasgettingtiredofhavinghimaskthat.Hereyesflashedwildly."Goaway!Ihatemen.Ihate
you.IhateCrystal.Ihatethewholeworld!"Heonlylaughed,movinggracefullytowardthedoor.
"Whenyougettiredofbrooding,comeandgetme.Youmightdiscoverthatit'seasierthanyou
think."ButBessonlyhalfheardhim.Shewastoobusytryingnottocry.Howcouldhe,howcouldhe!
Shetossedandturnedallnight,hermindoverwhelmedwithimagesofCrystalwithJude,darkand
light,inbedtogether.She'dkillhim.She'dkillCrystal.She'dleaveandgohometoGeorgia.She'ddo
something!Butwhensheawoke,worn-outandfeelingdeathlyill,revengewasthelastthoughtonher
mind.Sheglancedattheclockandrealizedthatitwasalreadypasttimeforchurchandshe'dnever
makeitbeforeserviceswereover.Withawearysigh,shepulledonaloosegraydressandbrushed
herhair,leavingitlong.Shewentdownstairs,butthehousewasoddlyquiet.Therewasamuffled
soundintheden,wherethedoorwasajar.Herhandreachedoutandpushedthedoorgentlyopen.Her
facewentpaperwhite.CrystalwaswrappedtightinJude'sarmsandtheywerekissing.Bessstood
theregapingatthem,herwholelifeflashinginfrontofher,hatingthem,hatingthem!Atthatmoment
Judeliftedhishead,laughing,andsawBess.Thelookonhisfacewouldhavebeen,inanothertime
andplace,utterlycomical.ButtoBess,whosewholeworldhadjustgonedowninashes,itwasonly
confirmationofherworstsuspicions.

Crystalstaredatherwithhermouthopen."Now,Bess,"shebeganhesitantly."Darling,letme...""It
isn'twhatyouthink,"Judeaddedslowly,hisownfaceoddlypaleunderhisdeeptan."Ofcoursenot,"
Besssaid.Herlowerliptrembledandalltheyearsofcontrol,alltheyearsofcoolacceptancewent
flamingupinthegripoftheworstfuryshe'deverfelt."Damnyou,"shethrewatCrystal,herbrown
eyesblazing,herfacelinedwithanger."Youtramp!Itisn'tenoughthatyouspentthepasttenyears
takingeverythingofmineyoucouldlayyourhandson,orthatyouwentflyingofftoEuropeandleft
mealonetotakecareofMotherallthoselongyears.No,youhadtocomeouthereandmakeagrab
formyfamily."Crystalwasslowlyturningpaleherself."Bess,wait--""Wait,hell!"sheshotback.Her
fistsclenchedbyhersides."AlltheyearsIdated,youstoleeverysinglebeauIhad.YoucoaxedCarla
intogivingyoumygrandmother'sjewels,theheirloomsIwouldhavepassedtomychildren,andyou
hockedthemtogetmoney!YouevenhadthegalltoquestionthewillthatleftOakgrovetome.
Oakgrove,forGod'ssake,thathadbeeninmyfamilyforahundredyears!AndnowyouwantJude."'
'Darling,Bess,please...!"Crystalpleaded,movingtowardher.

ButBessbackedaway,hatingthemboth.Shetoretheweddingbandsfromherhand--thegoldone
Judehadreluctantlyslidontoherfinger,andthesilveronehe'dboughtherattheAlamo."Youmight
aswellhaveitall,"shesaidharshly,andflungtheringsatCrystal."Allofit!Finally,thistime,you've
takensomethingIdidn'twanttobeginwith!"Judelookedasifshe'dslappedhim.Hedidn'teven
move."I'mgoinghome,"Besswept,brushingwildlyatthetearsonhercheeks."IfIhavetowalk
everystepoftheway.AndIneverwanttoseeeitherofyou,everagain!"Blindlysheturnedand
rushedoutofthestudy,deaftoCrystal'sharshplea.Withoutanyparticularcourseinmind,shethrew
openthefrontdoorandranforthesteps.But,blindedbyherowntears,shedidn'tseethefirstone.
Shelostherfootingandtumbledheadfirstdownthelongwoodenrowofsteps,feelingatfirsta
sudden,sharppain,andthenaquietblackoblivion.Thedreamswerewildandstrange.Shewas
drowningasshereachedouttoward

Jude,buthewasdancingwithCrystal,andshecouldn'tmakehimhearher.Shewasdrowning,
drowning____"Wakeupnow,wakeup,that'sit,"cameaslow,soothingvoice.Sheopenedherheavy
eyelidsandlookedupintoaroundfacewithglassesbehindanopticaltoolwithalightinitscenter.
"Hello,"shemurmureddrowsily."Hello,yourself,"hemurmuredback.Helookedinherothereye
andstoodup."Well,thatdoesn'tlooktoobad.Youwerelucky."Sheswallowed,lookingaroundthe
room.Itwasemptyexceptforanursehoveringinthebackground."Thebaby?"shewhispered,
frightenedassherememberedthelongfall.Hereyeslookedupintohisforreassurance."Whatabout
mybaby?"Hefrowned."Areyoupregnant?""Yes,Ithinkso,"shewhisperedunsteadily,and
proceededtotellhimabouthersymptoms.Heexaminedheragain,verycarefully,andorderedtests.
"You'llneedtostayovernight,"hesaid."Idon'tthinkyou'vedoneanydamage,butwe'llhavetomake
sure."

Hepattedherontheshoulder."Don'tworry,now.We'lltakegoodcareofyou.''"Doctor,please,ifmy
husbandandfamilyareoutthere,don'ttellthemaboutthebabyjustyet,"sheaskedpleadingly.He
liftedaneyebrowandgrinned."Don'tstealyourthunder,huh?Okay.ButifIdon'tletthathusbandof
yoursinhereprettyquick,Iwon'thaveanystaffleft.He'sbeenchewingthemouteversincehe
broughtyouinhere.I'llgethim."NotJude,shewantedtosay.Notnow,please,whenI'mtooweakto
fight.Butthatwouldhavesoundedstrange,andshewasn'tuptoexplanations,either.Sheclosedher
eyes,andwhensheopenedthemJudewasstandingoverher,whiteaspasteandwitheyesthat
frightenedher."Howdoyoufeel?"heaskedtautly.Shelickedherdrylipsandtriedtobreathe
normally.They'dgivenhersomethingforthepainandshewasalreadyfeelingfoggy."Ifeelsortof
numb,"shewhispered.Hereacheddownandtouchedherhandverylightly,asifheexpectedherto
jerkawayfromhim,andshesawthatherweddingbandshadbeenreplacedonit."Hesaidyouweren't
hurt.Whyaretheykeepingyou?"heaskedinanoddtone.

"Just...todosome...tests,"shesaid."I'mokay."Hisfingerscurledaroundhersandtightened.Hisjaw
clenched."Oh,God,honey..."hegroundout,closinghiseyes."Bess!"Hesoundedterrified.Ifonly
sheweren'tsosleepy.Shetriedtogetherhandawayfromhisbecauseshewantedtoreachupand
touchhim.Buthemisunderstoodtheweakgestureandmovedaway."ShallIstaywithyou?"heasked
tautly.Butshewasalreadyfadingoutandshedidn'thearhim.Thepainwasgoingaway....Whenshe
cametoagainitwasdark.Verydark,andquiet.SheopenedhereyesjustintimetoseeCrystalcome
inthedoorwithaCoca-Colainonehand.Hereyeswentcoldandshestartedtospeak,butCrystal
movedtowardthebedquickly."Please,don'tgetupset,"Crystalpleadedgently,herfaceamaskof
pureanguish.

"Please,Bess.They'llmakemeleave,andII'vegottostaywithyou.IpromisedJude,Iwouldn'tleave
youaloneforasecond."Shelaybackonthepillowswithabittersighandclosedhereyes.Maybeshe
couldjustpretendshewasn'tconscious."Pleaselisten,"Crystalbeggedsoftly,"Please.Thenifyou
wantmetogo,I'llcallanurseorsomebodytostaywithyouinsteadofme.Allright?""Ican'tgo
anywhere,"Besssaidweakly,1turningherheadaway."No,youcan't."Crystalsatdownbythebed,

puttinghersoftdrinkontheelevatedtraynearby."Whatyousaw...IsweartoGod,itwasn'tanything
morethangratitude.Despitewhatyouseemtothink,11didn'tcomeheretostealyourhusband.AsifI
could."Shelaughed."Judedoesn'twantme."Bessstaredatthewall,wishingherstepsisterwouldjust
goaway."IgotaphonecallthismorningfromJacques,myFrenchman,"shesaidsoftly"Hewantsto
marryme,Bess.Canyouimagine?Heactuallywantstomarryme!'

ThatdrewBess'sattentionforthefirsttimeSheturnedherheadonthepillowandtintedatCrystal."I
didn'tdreamthatbeingawaywouldmakehimmissmethatmuch,''Crystalcontinuedquietly."Even
thoughJudetoldmethatifJacquescaredatall,itwouldhappen.Iwantedtoleaveweeksago,buthe
nukedmetostay.Ithoughtmaybehewasspendingtimewithmetotryandmakeyoujealous.AndI
playeduptohimalittle,toseeifIcouldhelp."Shesmiledsadly."ButallIdidwasmakethingsworse.
Darling,you'reso...withdrawn.Youwon'tletanyofusnearenoughtohurtyou.IsupposeIeven
understand."Shereachedouthesitantlyandtouchedherstepsister'sarm."I'vebeenprettycallousat
times,haven'tI?Iknewyoudidn'twantmehere.ButIkepttellingmyselfiifItriedalittleharderI
mightbeabletoreachyou.Ijustwantedsomeonetotalkto,Bess,"shefinished."Ihadnooneelse,
"onlyyou."Besseyesfeltwet."Whydidn'tyoutellme?''Sheburstout.

Crystalstaredatherlap."Ididn'tknowhow.It'sallbluffwithme,Bess.Ilaughandteaseandpretend
thatI'malwaysonahigh.ButIcan'tstopactingandbemyself.Especiallywiththepeoplewho
matter.''"likeJacques?"Shenodded,smiling."Yousee,hethoughttherewasnothingunderthefluff.
HethoughtIwasashallowlittleflirtwithnorealfeelings.Hetoldmeso.Icameherehurting,butI
hiditsowellthatnobodyknew.ExceptJude,"sheaddedquietly."Isupposehe'sbeenhurtsomuch
thatheknewthesigns."Bessclosedhereyes.Shecouldn'tbeartothinkaboutthat."Pleasedon'thate
me,"Crystalsaidunsteadily."IwasthankinghimintheonlywayIcould.Iwouldn'thavehurtyoufor
theworld."BessreachedoutandgentlytouchedCrystal'shand."I'msorryIdidn'tunderstand,"she
saidsoftly."I'msorryforthethingsIsaid--"

"Youhadeveryright,"Crystalreturned.Thehurtfadedoutofhereyesandshesmiled."Wow,whata
temper!"Besslaughedself-consciously."IneverknewIhadone,exceptwhenJudebaitedme.""Poor
oldguy,"shemurmured."He'spaidtodayforsinshehasn'tevenbotheredtocommit."Besssearched
herstepsister'seyes."Ishehere?""Alldaylong,"camethequietreply."Upuntiljustafewminutes
ago.Imadehimgogetsomethingtoeat.He'ssickaboutwhathappened.Hefeelsresponsible."That
waslikeJude,tobearthebruntofresponsibilityforwhateverhappenedtohispossessions.Wasn'tthat
whatshewas?Shesmiledbitterly."Well,I'mallrightnow.Hecangohomeand...""Anddowhat?"
Crystalaskedquietly."Bess,themanlovesyou.I'veneverseenamansufferthewayhedidwhenyou
felldownthosesteps.Ihadtocalltheambulance.Hewouldn'tleaveyoueventhatlong.Andwhenthe
ambulanceattendantscame,theyhadtoworkaroundhimbecausehewouldn'tletgo.Hewasterrified.
ThankGodKatywasn'thomewhenithappened.""Katy!"Besstriedtositup,butsheheldherheadas
itbegantothrob.Shelaybackdown."PoorKaty,haveyoucalledher?""Hoursago,"Crystalsaid.
"SheandAggieareatthehouse.""Ifeellikesuchafool,"Bessmoaned."Allthis,becauseIwaseaten
upwithjealousyandcouldn'tadmitit."HereyessearchedCrystal's."Canyouforgiveme?""Ifyou
canforgiveme,"camethesoftreply."Oh,Bess,don'tyouknowthatI'dneverbeabletocompetewith

you?You'resogentleandcaring,sogivingwiththepeopleyoudoopenupto.You'rewarmand
generous,andyouhaveapoiseandsophisticationI'llneverhaveinamillionyears.Beautyfades.But
characterneverdoes."Bessheldoutherarms,cryingassheembracedherstepsister."Areyoureally
okay?"Crystalaskedasshedrewback,frowning.Bessnodded."Justalittlewhackedandbruised.But
I'llbefine,now.ReallyIwill."

"That'sgood.BecauseIhavetocatchaplanetoFranceinthemorning,beforeacertaincountchanges
hismindaboutthatemeraldengagementringhepromisedme."Crystalgrinned."Willyoumind?"
"NotifIcancometothewedding,"shereplied,amazedattheeasewithwhichtheyconversednow.
Crystalgrinned."You'llgetthefirstinvitation.Judecanbringyou."Thesmilefaded."Yes."Crystal
squeezedherhand."Givehimachance,"shesaid."Hehasn'thadaneasytimeofit,either.""Hetakes
hisresponsibilitiesseriously,"Bessagreedtiredly."You'remorethanthattohim,darling.Ifyou'd
seenhimthewayIdid,you'drealizethat.Nowgetsomerest.I'llsithereandsipmyCokeandinthe
morningyou'llbeallbetter.Okay?""Okay."Shesmiled,clutchingCrystal'sslenderhandasshe
driftedofftosleeppeacefullyforthefirsttime.Whensheopenedhereyesagain,thedoctorwasthere
andCrystalwasblowingherakissfromthedoorway.

"IfeellikeSantaClaus,"Dr.BarnessaidwithagrinafterCrystalhadleft."Whichdoyouwant,aboy
oragirl?""I'mreallypregnant?"sheasked,rising."You'rereallypregnant,"heanswered."Notbad
news,Igather?""Oh,gosh,"shebreathed.Shelaybackdown,grinninglikeachild."Oh,gosh."Her
handswenttoherstomachandallofasuddenshefeltwonderful."Nosensetalkingtoyouanymore
tonight,Icanseethat,"hemurmuredafterhecheckedherover."Baby'sfine.Soareyou.Imayletyou
outofheretomorrow.We'llseeinthemorning.Sleeptight!"Butsheonlysmiled.Whatawonderful,
sweetsecret.Sheclosedhereyesandcarrieditoffintothedarkwithher.

ChapterEleven

Sunlightstreamedinthroughtheblindsandshemovedrestlessly.Shefeltbruisedfromheadtotoe,
achingandmiserable.HereyesopenedandJudewassittingrigidlyinachairbythebed.Hiseyes
werebloodshot,staringstraightaheadinafacelikerawhide.Hisblackhairwasdisheveled,andthe
palebluesilkshirthewaswearingwithablazeranddarkslackslookedrumpled.Itwasunbuttoned
halfwaydown,displayingbronzedmusclesandcurlingdarkhair,andsherememberedwithashock
ofpleasurehowithadfelttotouchhimthere."Jude?"shewhispered.

Hesatup,hisfacealert,hiseyesprobing."Howareyou?"heaskedtautly."Alittlebruised,"shesaid,
avoidingthatprobingstare."Where'sCrystal?""OnherwaytoParis.Shesaidshe'dphoneyou
tonight.""Yes,I'dlikethat."Hestudiedherwanface."Shesaidyoutalkedlastnight."Shenodded.Her
eyesglancedoffhis."Crystaltoldmewhyshewaskissingyou.I'msorryfortheaccusationsImade,"

shesaidgruffly.Hecaughtherhandandpressedthepalmhotlytohismouth,hiseyesclosingashe
kissedthesoftfleshhungrily."Shutup,willyou?"heaskedonaharshlaugh."MyGod,whenIsaw
youpitchdownthosestepsIwantedtoputaguntomytemple!""Itwasn'tyourfault,"shemanaged
shakily."Thehellitwasn't."Hekissedherpalmagainbeforehelaiditbackgentlyonthebed.Hegot
tohisfeet,stretchingashewenttothewindowandopenedtheblinds."Thedoctorsaidyoucouldgo
hometoday."

"I'dlikethat.""Ifyoufeellikeit,"heemphasized."Idon'twantyoutakingchances.""I'mokay,"she
said,touchedbytheconcerninhisvoice.Heturnedfromthewindowandmovedbacktothebed.
"Bess,"hesaid,oddlyhesitantashelookeddownather,"Aggiesaidyouwerelosingyourbreakfast
lately."Shelookedupathimthroughherlashesandherheartranwild."Didshe?"Hesatbesideher,
touchingherhand,feelingtheringsthatwerebackinplace.Hishandmovedtothewarmswellofher
stomachandlingeredthere,pressingtenderly."Areyougoingtogivemeababy,honey?"heasked,
lookingintohereyeswithawarm,questioningglance.Itwasthewordingasmuchasthedeepvelvet
ofhisvoicethatmadeherflushwithwarmth.Shehesitatedasecond,searchinghishardface.Her
fingerstouchedhistentatively."Yes,Iam,"shesaidafteraminute.Hestudiedherbodyinthe
shapelessgown,learningthenewcontoursofherwaistlineandstomach,andhesmiledgently.But
whenhelookedup,thesmilefaded."Couldn'tyoutellme?"Herfingersliftedandbrushedsoftly
acrossthedarkskinandhaironthebackofthatlong-fingeredhand.Amazingly,ittrembled."Iwas
afraid,"shesaidsoftly."Ofme?"heasked,anguished."No!"Shelookedup,feelinghisfingerslock
intohersanddrawthemontohisbroad,powerfulthigh."Ofmakingyoufeelmoretiedthanyou
alreadywere.I...IthoughtyouwantedCrystal,Jude.""AndIthoughtyoudidn'twantme,"hesaid
quietly."Youeventoldmeyoudidn't.""BecauseIwasn'tsureofyou,"shereplied.Hereyesfellto
theirlockedhands."Ineverhavebeen.You'resoself-sufficient,socontrolled.Ineverknowwhat
you'rethinkingorfeeling.""Thatmakestwoofus."Hisfingerscontracted."Iputtheringsbackon,
didyounotice?""Yes.Thankyou.Ididn'tmeanhalfofwhatIsaid.Myemotionsseemtohavegone
haywirelately."

Hishandfreedhersandmoved,lightly,reverently,overthesoftswellofherstomach.''Doeshemove
yet?''hewhispered.Shesmiledshyly."It'stoosoon.Youreallydon'tmind?"Hesmiledback."No.I
toldyouattheverybeginningthatI'dliketohaveababywithyou,didn'tI?""Youmadesomepretty
horribleremarksaboutthat,"sheremindedhim."Self-defense,Bess,"hesaidquietly."Itoldyouonce
thatyoumademelosecontrol.I'dputawallbetweenmyselfandtheworld,andhereyoucame,
knockingoutbricks.Ididn'tunderstandthatatthetime,andIlikeditevenless.SoIfoughtback,with
theonlyweaponsIhad.""Andnow?""Now,I'msorryIdidn'tstartoffbetterwithyou,"hesaid."Ikept
CrystalherethinkingthatherFrenchmanmightmissherandcomelooking.And,"headmitted,"that
shemightmakeyoualittlejealous.IfI'drealizedhowtragictheconsequencesCouldhavebeen,I'd
havesentherpackingthefirstday.Ifyou'dbeenbadlyhurtorlostthebaby,Icouldn'thavelivedwith
it.""Youdidn'tknowIwasgoingtostartscreamingoveraninnocentkiss,"shesaidruefully."Itwas
that,forwhatit'sworth.Shewassoexcitedaboutbeingreunitedwithhermanthatshehadtoshareit.
I'msorrythatIlether,now."Hesearchedherface."Andshewaskissingme,notthereverse.I...don't
wantotherwomen,Bess.Onlyyou."Herfaceglowedathisremark,blossomed.Hiseyesmadeslow,
sensuouslovetohersinthesilencethatfollowed,andtheleanhandacrossherstomachbeganto

moveinwhispersoftpatterns.Hisheadbenttowardher;hiseyesglitteredwithpossession.The
silencemagnifiedthesoundofherunsteadybreathing.Themomentblazedwithpromise.Hishand
startedtoslideuptowardoneswollenbreast,andherbodyliftedardentlytomeetitsascentwhileher
lipsopenedtowelcomehis.Hisbreathcaughtashismouthhalted,poisedjustabovehers.Atthat
moment,Dr.Barneswalkedin,allsmiles,andfloppedintoachairtodiscussthebaby.Ignoringthe
flusteredembarrassmentoftheparents-to-be,hegavethemthenameofagoodobstetrician,
congratulatedJude,andgaveBesssomehigh-poweredprenatalvitaminstotake.

"Eatproperlyfromnowon,"Dr.Barnesadded."You'remuchtoothin.""She'lleatifIhavetoforce-
feedher,"Judesaidarrogantly.Sheglaredathim,andDr.Barneslaughed."Goodman,"thedoctor
ob-Nerved."Yougetintouchwiththisobstetrician,younglady,andmakeanappointment.Prenatal
careisimportant.Ifyou'reinterestedinnaturalchildbirth,bytheway,thehospitalhasclasses.Your
obstetriciancantellyoumoreaboutthat.""I'dlikethat,"Besssaid."SowouldI,"Judemurmured
surprisingly,glancingather."We'lltakethemtogether."Shehadtohidehereyestokeephimfrom
seeingtheshockofpleasurethewordshadgivenher.Afterthedoctorleft,therestoftinmorning
passedinawildhaze,andbeforesheknewitJudehadcheckedheroutandshewashomeagain.From
theminuteshewalkedinthedoorofBigMesquite,andKatyhuggedandhuggedher,shefelt
different.Andthingsweredifferent.Judestruttedaroundlikeaproudfather,watchingherhawklike
asifhewasconstantlysearchingforsomethinginherexpression.Andasifhisclosescrutinyweren't
surpriseenough,whenthewomengotreadyforchurchthefollowingSunday,theyfoundJudeina
graysuitwaitingforthemdownstairs."You'regoingtochurchwithus?"Bessasked,astonished.He
glaredather."Isthereanythingwrongwithamantakinghisfamilytochurch?""No,ofcoursenot,"
shestammered."Thenshutupandlet'sgo,beforeyoumakeuslate,"hesaid,herdingthethreeof
themoutthedoor.Katygiggled,butshedidn'tletherfather-hearher,andAggiejustshookherhead
withwonder.TheMethodistministeratthechurchwheretheyattendedserviceslookedasifhemight
faintwhenhesawJudesittinginoneofthefrontpewswithhisfamily.Butherecoveredquicklyand
grinnedfromeartoear.Bess,sittingbesideherhandsomehusband,feltontopoftheworld.Itwasa
markofhowfarthey'dcome,forJudetowillinglywalkintoahouseofworship.Thecold,hardman
she'dmarriedsomanylongmonthsagowouldn'thavebeencaughtdeadinone.Hestruggledthrough
thesongsasifhehadn'tsunginalongtime,buthehadarichbaritoneandBessthoughthesounded
wonderful.Shesmiledupathimmischievously.Heturnedhishead,catchingit,andgrinnedback.It
wasasmallinvitation,butmorethanenoughforBess,whowasstarvingforsomethingevencloser
thanthefriendlyrelationshiptheyhadsharedsinceherreturnfromthehospital.

Thatnight,BesstuckedKatyintobedanddidn'tlingerassheusuallydid.Pleadingaheadache,she
excusedherself,thinkingshehadn'treallyliedtoKaty.Judedidtendtobeone,onoccasion.

Sheheardwaterrunningassheenteredthesanctuaryofhisbedroom,andhadtoforcehernervous
legstocarryherinsideit.Shelockedthedoorbehindher.Jude'sbedroomhaddarkMediterranean
furniture,withbrownandcreamaccessoriesandahugebed.Sheflushedasshelookedatit,because
itloomedlargeinherplansfortherestoftheevening.Shetuggedthepowderbluesatinrobeshe
worecloseraroundhernudityandwalkedpurposefullyintotheadjoiningbrownandcream

bathroom.Hewasintheshower,withtheglassdoorclosed,justrinsinghishair.Shesatdownonthe
stoolbythedoorandwatchedwithrisingexcitement,becausethetexturedglasswasalmost
transparentandshewasgettingfascinatingglimpsesofbrownskinandthickblackhairthatarrowed
downchestandstomachandthighs.Secondslater,thewaterstoppedrunningandheslidopenthe
door.Andfroze.Shesmiledathim,forcingherselfnottobackdownnow."Hello,"shesaidsoftly.

"Hello,"hemumbled,hishandreachingforatowel."Youaren'tembarrassed?"sheasked,staring
blatantlyathim,hereyesbrimmingoverwithappreciationforthesheermuscularpowerofhistall,
hardbody.Heconsideredthatforaminute,andhisgreeneyesglitteredastheyranoverher."No,not
really,"hesaid."Notwithyou."Hewasthinkingaboutthescars,sheknew,oneofthetinyinsecurities
thatunderlayallthatmagnificentprideandarrogance.Shegotupgracefullyfromthestooland
movedtostandinfrontofhim.Herhandtookthetowelfromhis."Jude..."Hernervewasbeginning
tofail.Hedrewherhandstohisbodyanddrapedthetoweloverthem."You'vecomethisfar,"he
whispered."Don'tgetcoldfeetnow."Herlipspartedonashakyrushofbreathasshestudiedhishard,
darkface."Iwanttomakelovetoyoutonight,"shewhispered."YousaidoncethatwhenIwasready,I
shouldcomeandgetyou."

Acornerofhismouthcurved,althoughhischestwasrisingandfallinginshudders."Isthisa
seduction?""Well,sortof,"sheadmitted,peekingupathim."You'llhavetoguideme.Idon'treally
makeahabitofthis,likesomepeopleIcouldname.""You'rewastingtime,"hemurmured,glancing
down."Andwe'rerunningoutofit."Hereyesfollowedhisandjerkedbackupagain.Helaughed
softlyatherflush."Thiswasyouridea.Takeoffthatrobe.""ButIhaven'tdriedyouoffyet,"she
whispered."I'vealwayshadthiswildfantasyofbeingtoweleddrybyanudepregnantwoman,'he
murmureddrily."Takeitoff.IfI'mnotembarrassed,withmyflaws,whyinhellshouldyoube?"She
reachedupandpressedherfingerstohislips."Youaren'tflawed,"shesaidquietly."Iloveallofyou,
everyinch,andthosescarsaremarksofcourage."Shedroppedhereyestohismouthandmanagedto
smile.

"WhenIknowyoubetter,I'llkisseveryoneofthem."Helaugheddelightedly."Whenyouknowme
better?""Well,we'veonlyslepttogethertwice,"sheremindedhim."We'repracticallystrangers."
"We'llgetacquaintedalotquickerifyou'lltakeoffthatdamnedrobe."Shesighed."You'llneverget
driedoffifIdo.""Thinkso?"Herhandswenttothebeltandsheuntiedtherobe,watchinghisface,
andletitfall.Hisbreathcaughtandhiseyeswentdark.Hischestbegantoheave.Herhandsslidfrom
hiswaistuptohisheadand,trembling,theybegantomakeasmallefforttodryhisthickhair.But
meanwhile,herbodyhadtouchedhis,andhecriedout."Jude!"shewhispered,shaken.Hishandsdrew
heragainsthim;Heenfoldedher,hisarmscradledher,hismouthsearchedurgentlyforhers.

"Ineedyou,"hewhisperedunsteadily."Iwantyou,somuch!"Herlipsnibbledathis,teasing,playing,
untilhishandcaughtinherlonghairandpulled,makinghermouthopensuddenlyashistookit.He
rockedheragainstthehardnessofhisvirilebody,andshewentweak-kneedwithhungerforhim."I

can'twait,"hebitoff,liftingher."I'msorry,honey,Ican'twaitanothersecond!""It'sallright,"she
whisperedback,archingherbackashislipsfoundherbreastsandworshippedtheircurves,sliddown
totheslightriseofherbelly.Helaidherdownonthebedandherarmspulledhimoverher."The
baby,"hewhisperedprotectively,hesitating."Justdon'tbetoorough,darling,"shewhispered.Her
fingerstouchedhischest,hiswaistline,hiships.Shefoundhishandsandmovedthemtoherown
hips."Holdmelikethis,"shebreathed,"thewayyoudidinthewoodsthatday....""Bess!"hegroaned,
andfoundherlipswithhis.

"Iloveyou,"shewhisperedintohisseekingmouth.''Iloveyou.''"Doyouknowwhatyou'resaying?"
hewhisperedback,shiftinghisbodysothattheymovedquicklyintoadevastatingintimacy."Yes,I
know."Shelifted,arched,openinghereyes."Lovemeback,justalittle,darling,"shewhispered."Just
alittle,evenifthisisall...allyoucangive...Jude!"Shegasped,twistinghelplesslyashisbodybegan
thedeep,softmotionsheremembered,ashistenderhandstouchedherinmoreintimateways."It's
goingtobelovethistime,"hesaidhuskily."Onbothsides.Forbothofus,Bess.You'remylife,my
heart,myworld!"Warmthfloodedherbodylikefireasthewordspenetrated,andshesawthetruthof
theminthelovingeyesthatlookeddownintohers."Darling...!"shecriedout,clinging.Hishands
wentunderher."Movewithme,"hebreathed,bendingtohermouth."Yes,hard,likethat...Bess,oh
God,Bess,Bess,Iloveyou,Iloveyou...!"

Hewhisperedthewordslikealitany,untiltheybecameabreathless,hoarsechant,untilherownvoice
caughtandechoedthem,untilherbodyandhersoulfusedwithhisinone,explosiveburstofcolor
thatshatteredbeforeherstartledeyeslikeakaleidoscopeofshimmeringrainbows.Shewashardly
awareoftimeafterthat.Itseemedthatthey'donlyjustfinishedwhenthesymphonyofmovementand
passionbeganalloveragain,withtender,softkissesgrowingdeeperandbodieskindlingeachother
withbrushing,teasingcontact.Hedrewherbackintohisarms,andtheneverytouchseemedtobe
moreintimate,everykisslongeranddeeper,everygaspandsobandmoanlouderthantheone
before.Andthistimehetaughtherthingsthatmadehimcryout,waysoftouchingandtastingthat
gaveherpoweroverhim,andshegloriedinthepleasureshecouldseehimexperiencing.Untilhe
reachedapointontheedgeofhiscontroland,withaharshgroan,movedoverhertremblingbody
and,shiveringwithfrankdesire,gaveherthesatisfactionshepleadedfor.Finally,fromsheer
exhaustion,theypulledupthecoversandpressedthemselvesintoeachother'sarms.Andsleptuntil
morning.Hewoke,andwokeher,andasthesunfilteredinthroughtheblinds,theymadelovetothe
soundofbirdsrousinginthetreesoutsidethewindow.Anditwasjustassweetasthenightbefore.
Theywerefilledwithsharedlove,withthewonderofbelongingtoeachother."AndIthoughtIliked
beingabachelor,"hemurmureddrily,rufflingherhairasshelaydamplyagainsthishairychestin
thedrowsyaftermathoftheirloving.Shekissedhisskinsoftly."I'mgoingtomakesureyoulike
beingmarriedfromnowon."Hecaressedherface,turningsothathecouldseehereyes."Lastnight
wasthefirsttimesinceChristmas,"heobservedquietly,"thatyou'vereachedoutforme.Upuntil
then,I'ddoneitall.Allthechasing.Allthetaking.Iusedtohopeagainsthopethatonenightyou'dbe
starvingformeandrunthetruckthroughmybedroomdoor,"headdedonadrylaugh.

"Ikindofhopedthesamething,"sheconfessed."ButIwasn'tsureofyou.Iknewyoudidn'twantto

getmarried.IthoughtifIletyouseehowmuchIcaredyou'duseitagainstme.And,too,Iwas
furiousaboutCrystal."Hekissedherforeheadgently."Bess,Ididhatetheideaofmarriagewhenyou
firstcamehere.Butafterthefirstfewweeks,itgottothepointthatIcouldn'tthinkofanythingbut
you."Hesmiled."IputuptreesIdidn'twant,Iwenttounbelievablelengthstogetmyhandsona
paintingyou'dsaidyouliked,IletyousetlimitsforKatyandwatchedyougetherinterestedin
dressesandparties,allthethingsIsworeIwouldn'tdo.Isawyouwithher,howyoulaughedand
played.AndIwantedtoplay,too,butithadbeentoolong,andIdidn'tknowhowanymore."Shebit
gentlyathisshoulder."KatyandIcanteachyou.""Itriedsohardtomakeyoucare,"hesaid,anditall
showedinhisface,allthepainandhungerandfrustrationthathe'dkeptherfromseeing."ButI
couldn'tgetnearyou.Andthatnightwhenyousaidyoudidn'twantme..."Shetouchedhismouth."I
wantedyouverymuch,Ialwayshave.IwantedyouwhenIwasfifteenyearsold,Jude,"sheconfessed
fervently."Idon'tevenknowwhenitbecamelove.ButIknowonething.Icouldn'tsurviveawayfrom
you."Hetracedherlipswithalongfinger."Thatgoesdoubleforme,Mrs.Langston.Idon'tmuch
likesleepingalone,either.Doyousupposeyoumightsleepwithmefromnowon?""We'dlikethat,"
shesaid.''We?''Heliftedaneyebrow.Shesnuggledclosewithasmile."YoursonandI.Katy's
ecstatic,didyounotice?""Yes,andI'mglad."Hedrewhercloser.Shelookedup."Don'tyouthinkI'm
sexy?""God,yes!"hesaid,laughing."I'llstillloveyouwhenyoulooklikeapumpkin.Ijusthopemy
armsaregoingtobelongenoughtoreacharoundyou."Shelaugheddelightedly."Whatstorieswe'll
beabletotellourgrandchildren,"shemurmured."IcanjustseetheirfaceswhenItellthemabout
howyoucarriedmebodilyoutofOakgroveandflewmetoTexastogetmarried.""Ifyoudo,"he
warned,"I'lltellthemhowyouseducedmeonthebridlepath.""Blackmailer."Hegrinned,rubbing
hisnoseagainsthers."We'llkeepoursecrets,then.Justforthetwoofus.AndwhenI'mold,I'll
whispermemoriesintoyourearinfrontofthemandwatchyoublush.AndI'llbeyoung,andsowill
you,alloveragain."Shebrushedherfingersoverhisstubbledcheeklovingly,searchinghiseyes.
"I'llloveyouallmylife."Hekissedhersoftly."I'llloveyouallofmine.Everyminute."Hesatup,
stretching."Howaboutbreakfast?ThenwecouldgointoSanAntonioandhavelunchatthat
restaurantontheriverwalk.""Onlyifyoupromisenottostandupandstartinsultingme.""WouldI
dothattoapregnantlady?"heasked.Hiseyeswanderedslowlyoverherashegottohisfeetandhe
smiledslowly,seductively."You'reprettylikethat,inbed.Icouldlosemyheadoveryou.''Shelay
backonthepillowswithasoftsigh,andmovedherlegs."Couldyou?Howexciting.Liedownand
let'sdiscussit."

"Youwitch,"hemurmured.Sheheldoutherarms."It'ssolonelyhereinthisenormousbed.''"I'vegot
phonecallstomake...."Herbackarchedsoftly."Ihavethisterribleache,darling...."Hethrewhimself
downbesideher."Tohellwiththephonecalls.I'vegotanacheofmyown."Herlipspartedandhis
movedontothem.Shesmiled,feelingasiftherewerechampagneinherveins,bubblingandbursting
withlifeandjoyanddeliciousflavor.Herhandsranoverthesmooth,powerfulmusclesofhisback
withsweetabandon.Somehow,hedidn'tfeelatalllikerawhideanymore.