A Total-E-Bound Publication

www.total-e-bound.com

What Matters Most
ISBN #978-0-85715-628-0
©Copyright Bailey Bradford 2011
Cover Art by Posh Gosh ©Copyright August 2011
Edited by Claire Siemaszkiewicz
Total-E-Bound Publishing

This is a work of fiction. All characters, places and events are from the author’s imagination
and should not be confused with fact. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, events or
places is purely coincidental.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced in any material form,
whether by printing, photocopying, scanning or otherwise without the written permission of
the publisher, Total-E-Bound Publishing.

Applications should be addressed in the first instance, in writing, to Total-E-Bound
Publishing. Unauthorised or restricted acts in relation to this publication may result in civil
proceedings and/or criminal prosecution.

The author and illustrator have asserted their respective rights under the Copyright Designs
and Patents Acts 1988 (as amended) to be identified as the author of this book and illustrator
of the artwork.

Published in 2011 by Total-E-Bound Publishing, Think Tank, Ruston Way, Lincoln, LN6 7FL,
United Kingdom.

Warning: This book contains sexually explicit content which is only suitable for mature
readers. This story has a heat rating of Total-e-melting and a sexometer of 2.

Love in Xxchange

WHAT MATTERS MOST

Bailey Bradford

Dedication

To the magical, amazing T-Shirt trio—B, C.H., and K.D. Y’all have inspired me and cheered

me on every step of the way. Thank you.

Trademarks Acknowledgement

The author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of the following
wordmarks mentioned in this work of fiction:

Mack Truck: Mack Trucks, Inc.
The Zax: Dr. Seuss Properties
Ford: Ford Motor Company
Google: Google, Inc.
Dodge: Chrysler Group, LLC
iPod: Apple Inc.

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Chapter One

Some days just sucked, that was all there was to it. Josh had woken up and felt like

today was going to be one of those perfect days. He was well rested, the morning sun lit up

his crappy bedroom and made even the dingy walls look pretty, dappled as they were with

streaky paint someone had slapped on. Burnt orange was not his favourite colour, and the

walls clashed horribly with his hot pink sheets and blanket, but somehow, with the sunlight

glinting on the godawful orange, the whole room had seemed…not as bad as usual.

Josh had got out of bed and slipped off his pink star dotted pyjama bottoms and

started his morning yoga. It helped to centre him, and keep him flexible, his muscles defined

yet not so bulky he couldn’t hook his heel behind his head. Flexibility was a bonus in bed,

and Josh prided himself on amazing his lovers. Well, he would have if he’d had any. It’d

been a long dry spell, but really, what had he expected living in the armpit of south Texas?

He should have moved to San Fran, that was the thought he often had when he was

lonely. Truth was, he didn’t want to be that far away from his brother. The man annoyed the

living shit out of him, but he’d raised Josh, and he was the only family Josh had left. And

yeah, okay, so Evan had helped, too.

Josh had stopped that train of thought before it could derail into a spectacular fashion

and destroy the peace he was trying to find. He’d sunk into his meditation and came out

feeling refreshed.

Then he’d pulled his favourite scrubs out of his closet only to discover there was a

nice, ball sized hole in the crotch of his penguin scrubs. He’d muttered and cursed the evil

washers at his apartment complex. It wasn’t the first time they’d mangled something of his.

Josh had laid the scrubs on his bed and made a mental note to pick up some matching-ish

material so he could patch them.

He’d put on his second favourite pair of scrubs, bright red ones covered in cheery

smiley faces. Kind of hard on the eyes, but people seemed to like them regardless. Josh had

slipped on his shoes then screeched to high Heaven when something crunched. He’d kicked

the shoe off and gagged as a flat and icky roach fell out onto the carpet. And of course, the

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stupid handivac hadn’t been charged, which left Josh holding a paper towel in one hand and

pressing the other over his mouth as he gagged and heaved.

The coffee machine overflowed, the filter having been folded all funky. There’d been

coffee grounds and water all over the countertop and even on the floor. His milk was bad

and his bread mouldy. He’d sneezed while brushing his teeth and created a mess he’d never

have thought possible. By the time he made it outside to his beat up Honda, he wasn’t the

least bit surprised to discover one tire was low. His good mood had been thoroughly

trounced along with the cockroach, so Josh had let loose with the curses as he dragged out

the little compressor Justin insisted he keep in the trunk.

But the battery was dead, the compressor couldn’t draw a charge, and Josh ended up

tossing the damn thing back in the trunk and calling for a cab. Which was when he realised

he’d forgotten to charge his cell phone overnight. At least he’d got his address to the cab

company before the phone had died. He’d run back to his apartment, thinking the cab would

take forever to get there. Inside he’d grabbed his charger then sprinted back out the door just

in time to see the cab pulling away from the kerb. Josh had had to chase the stupid thing

down, and the morning sun he’d thought was so pretty had turned hotter than hell and Josh

smelt like the arm pit he claimed he lived in by the time he got to work.

He hadn’t been fool enough at that point to think his day would get any better, and it

hadn’t. Mr Walton, his boss, had pitched a hissy over Josh charging his cell phone at work.

The arrogant asshole didn’t give a flying shit how Josh’s morning had gone and told Josh so

when he’d tried to explain why he was charging his phone. Josh had given up and

unplugged his charger when his boss started talking about writing him up. Josh couldn’t

think of a bad enough word to call his boss, so he’d settled on fantasies involving his boss

being naked in front of everyone and having a willy the size of Josh’s thumb.

Josh had decided then and there he needed more evil ideas. He’d figured he’d have to

talk to Annabelle. She knew how to be mean and how to get away with it. She’d probably

come over here and nut his boss.

From there on out, the day had been one disaster after another. Cranky patients, angry

patients, furious patients—Josh had concluded he’d been a puppy and kitten kicker in a

previous life since Karma was clearly trying to teach him a lesson with this one.

Added to all the bad shit, Josh had felt that itchy sensation skittering down his spine,

the kind that made the hair on the nape of his neck stand up and wave for attention.

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Someone was watching him, that’s what the sensation was telling him, but Josh couldn’t

figure out who—until he caught his boss glaring at him at the end of his shift, waving a stack

of papers at him. Josh had tried to be optimistic about Walton glaring at him, considering all

too often the ass was leering in a way that was well past creepy. A glare was better than that

perv ogling him any day.

Josh had received a very thorough reaming from the man, and not the enjoyable kind

he really wished he’d get—from someone else, of course. He’d shoved aside the thought of

one jackass he’d left lying on the floor of the Xxchange a couple of weeks back. Nick. He

wasn’t that desperate, no matter what his body and mind tried to tell him. What the hell did

those two things know?

Now he was finally off work and standing outside of the hospital, waiting for his cab

to show. Unlike the one this morning, this one wasn’t anywhere near quick. Josh had been

waiting over half an hour, and the itchy feeling teasing at his spine and scraping over the

back of his neck was back and stronger than before. Josh peered over his shoulder. Yep, his

boss was leering at him. Rebuffing the jerkoff’s clumsy and, frankly, crude, advance had been

a bigger mistake than he’d thought. The guy claimed he wasn’t gay, just thought he’d offer

his dick for sucking to a gay man because, hey, all gays were horny and would take whatever

they could get.

Josh snorted as he turned away. He was horny all right, but he’d never be that horny.

The cab finally pulled into the parking lot and Josh sprinted for the door, not willing to risk

losing his method of escape. He hopped in the cab and gave the driver his address. Josh

leaned his head back and closed his eyes and wondered why he always ended up getting

harassed by someone at his job. It’d happened every damn time. Annabelle told him it was

because he was pretty, which hadn’t done a thing for his ego or confidence. Josh would

rather be brawny and handsome like Justin, not petite and thin and pretty. Christ, if he was

pretty, and this is what happened to pretty people, he was tempted to slam his face through a

window.

Get out of the pity party, Josh chastised himself. Then he thought about how he was

going to have to call Justin for help, because after two cab rides, Josh’s spending money was

gone, and his car was…it was screwed up. Justin would know what was wrong with it. The

only bright spot in the whole shithole of the day was that Josh knew he’d probably get to see

Annabelle when Justin showed up.

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He should have known better than to even entertain the thought, he fumed, as he

opened his door later and found Evan standing on the other side.

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Chapter Two

Josh hated that look in Evan’s eyes! The freaking mix of pity and…and knowledge and

something that always flickered away before Josh could fully decipher it.

Evan sighed and craned his neck to look back towards the parking lot. Josh gripped

the door knob tighter and struggled to get his emotions under control. Logically, he knew he

should be over being pissed at Evan, and he even knew, to some degree, that Evan had been

right in doing what he’d done years ago. Kind of.

Yet Josh had carried the anger and resentment with him for so long, he didn’t know

how to let it go. What had begun as a small seed of hurt as a teen had tumbled about inside

him, gathering the detritus of other perceived slights until that seed had sprouted roots and

limbs and now seemed a permanent part of Josh.

Evan looked at him and held out his hand. “If you’ll give me the keys to your car, I’ll

take care of it and get out of here.”

Telling himself that was not hurt he saw in Evan’s eyes, Josh pulled the door open

wider and stepped back. “I threw them somewhere in the bedroom. It could take me a few

minutes to find them. You might as well come inside.” It wasn’t his most gracious offer of

hospitality, and it made him feel like cold shit to see the hopeful smile stretching Evan’s lips.

Josh turned and nearly sprinted to the bedroom, needing to get away from Evan before he

said something mean to Justin’s partner…Well, one of Justin’s partners.

Or maybe Josh wouldn’t say something mean. Maybe he’d say something nice, or at

least apologetic, and then he wouldn’t have a clue how to behave around Evan ever again.

He found the keys under his bedspread—he wasn’t even going to try to figure that one out—

then turned and let loose a startled squeak. Slapping a hand over his racing heart—and of

course it was the hand he held the keys in, which didn’t feel good at all—Josh glared at Evan.

“Did you have to sneak up on me?!”

“It’s not like I tiptoed in here,” Evan said, “and I’m a good six feet away from you.”

Well, yeah, he was, but after having experienced that creepy sensation of being

watched for most of the day, Josh was just a little jumpy. He held the keys out to Evan and

tried not to glare at the man. Evan reached out and grabbed Josh’s hand before he realised

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what Evan was doing. Josh reflexively tried to jerk his hand free only to find it held firmly in

Evan’s grip. Josh stopped trying not to give Evan an evil glare and blasted him with a furious

look. “Let. Go.”

After a few tense seconds, Evan let Josh’s hand go, plucking the keys from his grasp as

he did so. When Evan didn’t do anything other than stand there holding the keys and staring

at him, Josh propped his hands on his hips and did his best to look down his nose at a man

almost a foot taller than him.

Evan cocked a hip and twirled the keyring around his index finger, looking for all the

world like he intended to stand there blocking the doorway for eternity. “Josh, don’t you

think it’s time you let it go?”

Josh had thought that very thing, but hearing it from Evan’s mouth made Josh want to

stomp his feet and shout a denial. He opened his mouth to speak only to be cut off when

Evan started babbling again. “I mean, you’re an adult now, would you want to fuck a minor,

especially one around—”

“Stop it,” Josh bit out as his stomach clenched and rolled. He could see Evan’s point,

but still.

“Josh, come on,” Evan pleaded, taking a step closer. “You know you wouldn’t because

it’s wrong. So why do you hate me—”

Josh didn’t want to discuss this, not now, not later, and definitely not with Evan.

Evan took another small step closer as he frowned. “And if you hate me so much, why

would you encourage Annabelle to have a relationship that I was involved in?”

“Because it was what she wanted!” Josh almost added, and what my brother wanted, but

that sounded hateful even in his imagination. “Now, can you fix the car?” Because Josh could

not deal with this shit on top of the day he’d had.

Evan narrowed his eyes at Josh and nodded, then pointed at him. “Fine. But you

aren’t getting out of having this conversation with me in the very near future. I’ve had it with

you blaming me for doing the right god damned thing.” Evan punctuated his words with a

sharp nod, then turned and left the bedroom.

Josh breathed a sigh of relief at the temporary reprieve. Evan seemed determined to

have a chat with him very soon, but Josh would do whatever he could to avoid that, at least

until he was ready to discuss it. If he was ever ready to discuss it. Maybe he should man up

and apologise just to avoid the whole upcoming talk.

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No one said he had to be sincere with the apology.

* * * *

“You’re such a bitch,” Josh muttered to himself as he peered out the tiny window to

watch Evan working on his car. He was stuck in the same juvenile cycle of guilt breeding

anger, not at the offending party, either, but rather at the one person who’d stepped in and

done what was right, though Josh still hated to admit it—Geez, he hoped that was from habit.

But, God, an apology would have to cover years of being a shit, and how big of an

apology would that have to be?

Stowing the question for now, Josh turned away from the window. A sharp pain shot

up his right side, spearing from his ribs up to his shoulder blade. Josh hissed and rubbed at

his tense muscles. Another round of yoga would do him a world of good, but it would have

to wait. He wouldn’t be able to concentrate enough to meditate or work the stress from his

body, not when he knew he was going to have to eat a big serving of crow very soon.

Deciding a shower would have to do for now, Josh went into his bedroom and dug

out the oldest, softest pair of sweats he had. He pulled out his favourite T-shirt too, the image

so faded from washings that he could barely make out Layne Staley’s fine-boned features

and long, curly blond hair. Josh had the biggest crush on the grunge singer when he was a

kid, then the man had OD’d and Josh experienced his first lesson in idolizing someone—they

weren’t what you made them out to be in your mind. The second lesson followed

immediately after—it hurt like a bitch to find out the first lesson, especially in such an

irreversible manner. Josh had been more circumspect about his crushes and fantasies ever

since.

Mostly. He turned the shower on and stripped quickly, his mind rolling back to the

last night he’d been at the Xxchange, when he’d assaulted—albeit with good reason—the

man he suspected was Annabelle and Rory’s half-brother. Nick. The jerk had played Josh,

making him think Nick was interested in him, hooked him like a stupid hungry trout, then

started trying to get Josh to talk about Annabelle and Rory. Josh had become suspicious, little

alarms going off in his head that something wasn’t quite right, and the questions, along with

the way Nick had been manhandling Josh had pushed Josh to react with more violence than

he’d thought himself capable of.

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Later, after Annabelle and Rory had been informed that Ian Calhoun, their father, had

died. The siblings had been more upset about it than Josh thought the mean old bastard

deserved, considering he’d cut them out of his will. Rory’s partner Chance had filled

Annabelle and Josh in on the rest of it, which was basically that Ian Calhoun had another son,

one older than either of them, and he’d left the Mossy Glenn ranch to this mysterious man.

Those same alarm bells that had sounded in Josh’s head at The Xxchange when he’d

been realising that something was off with Nick had started ringing again. It’d taken Josh a

while, but he gradually came to believe the man he’d kneed in the balls and left in a gasping,

shuddering heap on the club floor was almost certainly the son who’d inherited the Mossy

Glenn. It was the only thing that made any sense, at least to him.

As for why Nick hadn’t just approached his half-siblings, Josh wondered about that,

just like he wondered why, while he’d told Annabelle about the encounter, he’d left off the

bit about Nick wanting information on her and Rory. And his suspicion that Nick was Rory

and Annabelle’s half-brother. Whether it was guilt for the way he’d nutted the man, or

something else that he didn’t really want to examine, Josh had kept his mouth shut about

Nick. That probably wasn’t the smartest way to handle the whole situation, but that’s what

he’d done and now he had to stick with it.

Josh stepped in the shower and rolled the idea around in his head, or tried to. Of

course, any thought of Nick tended to have his dick springing to attention, and this time was

no different. As much as Josh longed to bring himself off, he couldn’t, not when Evan might

be waiting when he came out. That would just be too weird. It was different when Josh was a

horny kid who couldn’t keep his hand off his dick any time he got the chance. Now he was a

horny adult and somehow he just knew Evan would know what he’d done in the shower.

Josh looked down at his swollen cock and gave it a couple of loving strokes. “Soon, I

promise, if you’re up to it.”

He finished his shower, giving his dick time to behave, then cut the water off before

grabbing a towel and swiping at the moisture on his skin. The sound of the apartment door

opening and closing was easy to hear through the thin walls, and Josh steeled himself for the

coming confrontation. He had no doubt Evan had meant what he’d said, and Josh agreed.

This crap between them had gone on long enough. Now if he could just convince his inner

insane teenager of that fact…

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Once dressed in his comfort clothes, Josh stepped out of the bathroom and wasn’t the

least bit surprised to find Evan standing only a few feet away, his arms crossed over his chest

and one eyebrow cocked expectantly.

Josh knew that look. It was the one Evan had given him every time he’d screwed up as

a kid. The ‘you’re in for a lecture and you’ll damn well shut up and listen’ look. Josh hated

that look, and hated even more the effect it had on him. It made him want to hang his head

and shuffle over to the couch as he muttered an apology. Josh raised his chin up and forced

his shoulders back. He wasn’t a kid anymore, and it was well past the time he started acted

like the man he wanted to be.

Instead of walking to the couch to await his punishment, Josh headed towards the tiny

table in the kitchen. “You coming?” He didn’t wait for Evan’s answer, instead pulling out a

wobbly chair and sitting, careful not to sprawl or convey any belligerence in his posture.

Evan was soon seated across from him. Josh locked gazes with the other man. “Thank you

for fixing my car.” There, that sounded mature and non-confrontational.

Evan leant back in his chair and narrowed his eyes, as if trying to figure out what

game Josh was playing at. “It’s not completely fixed. You need to buy a new tire and have it

put on as soon as possible. That crappy little spare won’t hold up for many miles at all. As for

the battery, I stopped by the parts store on the way over and picked up a new one, just in

case. Good thing I did since your old one was on its last legs.”

“What do I owe you for it?”

“Nothing,” Evan said.

Josh didn’t glare, but it was a near thing. He was trying really hard to act like an adult

here. It wasn’t going to be a successful attempt if Evan insisted on treating him like a kid.

“How much?”

Evan looked like he wanted to argue, but Josh kept his gaze steady and his voice firm.

“I’d rather pay you what it cost, but if you won’t tell me, then I’ll just have to guess.”

Evan reached into his shirt pocket without uncrossing his arms and plucked out a

receipt. “Here.” He set the slip of paper on the table then took up his defensive position

again. Josh’s eyes widened slightly as he realised that was exactly how Evan looked—

defensive, as if he was carrying his own share of guilt. It somehow made it easier for him to

begin a conversation that was eight years overdue.

He just hoped he found the right words.

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Josh took a deep breath as he gripped his thighs to keep from fidgeting. He exhaled

and felt a little of that long-kept anger slip away. “I don’t blame you for trying to protect

me,” he began slowly, trying to fit thoughts into sentences that made sense. “I did at first,

because I was a dumb kid who thought he knew everything, but I know up here”—Josh let

go of his left thigh and tapped at the side of his head—“that it was wrong for an adult to try

to seduce an innocent kid.”

Evan frowned, his confusion increasing by the second. “Then why have you hated me

all these years?”

Being an adult sucked sometimes. Josh shifted in his seat, then couldn’t stop himself

from slumping just a bit. “Because. Maybe at first I was jealous of the relationship you and

Justin had—still have. But when I was fifteen, every time I saw the love you two had for each

other, I wanted the same thing so bad. It wasn’t that I didn’t want the two of you to have it,

but I wanted it, too. You and Justin met and fell for each other when y’all were barely

sixteen. I didn’t see why, at fifteen, I couldn’t find the man I wanted to spend my life with.”

Josh sighed and slumped a little more. “And I wanted a man, not a boy, not that there were

any gay boys besides me in school. Maybe if there had been, and we’d been attracted to each

other, I wouldn’t have been such easy prey for Zach Crane.”

Evan’s confusion morphed into anger at the mention of Zach Crane. “Don’t even say

that fucker’s name. I should have broken every bone in his body, and I would have, if

he’d…if he’d touched you!”

Josh’s bitter laugh surprised him. He hadn’t felt it rising up, wasn’t prepared for the

hurt and shame that laced its edges. “Old man Crane would have had you taken out and shot

if you broke his son. I thought I loved him, that he was pressuring me to have sex with him

because he loved me so much he couldn’t wait until I was older. I was flattered that this

handsome adult wanted scrawny little me. I was so stupid.” The perfect victim, or near victim.

Evan had saved him from that.

“Son of a bitch!” Evan shoved up from his chair and slapped both hands onto the table

top. The entire surface vibrated from the dual blows as Evan leant over and glared at Josh. “It

wasn’t your fault, Josh! He was a pervert, and if he hadn’t fried his brains on drugs I would

hunt him down and kick his ass like I should have years ago!”

“He didn’t touch me, not more than some kissing and groping,” Josh clarified, his

stomach quivering as his face heated with a flush. “But he was the boss’s son, and when he

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told me how much he wanted me, how much he’d love me if I would just prove to him that I

wanted him the same way, I believed him. I’d only just made up my mind to have sex with

him, to show him… But you came in to the store and proceeded to threaten him within an

inch of his life.” Josh closed his eyes against the memories of his naïvety. Images of that day

eight years ago played behind his closed lids. Evan, storming into the hardware store,

pointing at Josh and telling him to get his ass outside and wait in the truck. Josh had been

standing as close to Zach as possible given their public location. His cheeks had stung as if

he’d been slapped when he ran out to the truck, knowing what he’d just promised to do with

the older man was wrong, but angry deep inside at Evan’s interference. “I thought he’d love

me if I did what he asked, and I blamed you for denying me that.”

“Josh, look at me.”

Josh flinched at the touch to his cheek, not in fear, but in surprise. He hadn’t been

expecting the soft caress or the compassion he heard in Evan’s voice. His eyes were burning,

threatening to spill embarrassing tears onto his cheeks. Josh shook his head and swallowed

noisily as he fought back the urge to cry. “How did you know?” he asked, his voice cracking.

After Evan had ripped him a new one, he and Josh had never discussed any of it again.

“Look at me,” Evan demanded, and this time Josh couldn’t help but obey. Evan’s

cheeks were streaked with tears, his big body trembling. “He was bragging, down at

Mickey’s bar. It was just dumb luck that Vinnie Shaw heard him going on about how easy it

was to seduce the new kid working for him. Vinnie called me the next day to warn me, once

he woke up from his drunk stupor. I could have killed him for not telling me immediately. If

I’d been too late…” Evan’s lips twisted into a grimace, his eyes darkening with the fury Josh

could feel emanating from him.

Even after years of resentment, Josh couldn’t bear to see Evan looking so pained, so

consumed with rage. “But you weren’t too late, and I never thanked you for that. I’m

thanking you now.” And Josh felt something inside him snap, like a tree split by lightning.

Years of anger and hurt bled from him, seeping silently from his soul. “I got so used to being

mad at you for it, even when I finally realised you were right, I didn’t know how to let go of

everything, how to get passed it. I was so used to being angry, I didn’t know any other way

to be with you.”

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“Josh, I never meant for you to be hurt. That’s what I was trying to prevent.” Evan

dropped back into his chair, all the energy seeming to drain from him in an instant. “I was

just trying to keep you safe.”

Josh nodded as he clenched his thighs again. “I know that, I do. But as a kid, I thought

you’d taken away my only shot at true love. No one wants to believe they were a victim, a

game to some sick fuck. And then it always seemed to be hanging over my head, this big

secret you could use against me at any time. You didn’t tell Justin.”

Evan’s eyes widened as he slapped the table again. “Because he would have killed

that bastard! It wouldn’t have mattered if he touched you or not, the intention was there, and

that would have been enough to set Justin off!”

“Yeah,” Josh acknowledged. He could see that, now. “But I was a kid who thought he

was being punished for loving someone, and the fact you never told Justin made it seem like

a threat that you would tell him—and”—Josh hesitated, unsure if he should add the rest. Best

to get it all out. He hoped Evan would understand—“it made it impossible for me to talk to

Justin about it, because then he’d be mad at you, too. I couldn’t, even though I thought I

hated you, do something that would possibly break you two up, not when I knew the way

y’all felt about each other.”

Evan was so still Josh thought he might not be breathing. The other man’s skin had

lightened a few shades, his eyes widened with what Josh guessed was shock, his mouth

dropped open. Evan swiped at the moisture on his cheeks as he stared at Josh. “I didn’t know

I’d done that,” Evan whispered, sounding shattered. “I didn’t mean to put it between you

and Justin. I only meant to keep you both safe.”

“I know, but it was another reason why I was so angry all these years.” Josh reached

across the table and held Evan’s hand between both of his own. “Justin is my brother, and

once I started to understand how wrong it was of Za—for an adult to do that, I wanted my

brother’s shoulder, ass chewing and all, but I was afraid to say anything. I could have talked

to you then—”

“No,” Evan snapped, shaking his head hard enough Josh feared he’d knock something

vital loose. “I shouldn’t have kept it from Justin. I should have trusted him to show some

restraint—”

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Josh cut the other man off with a loud snort. “Justin would have been in prison, and

you know it. I understand why you didn’t tell him, now. Years ago, though, I was just a lost,

hurt kid who couldn’t see past his own needs and desires.”

A determined expression formed on Evan’s face. “I won’t let this set between you two

anymore.”

Josh let go of Evan’s hand. Oh fuck! This would be bad! Josh lurched from his chair the

same time Evan did. “Don’t!” He sprinted around the table and tried to tackle the bigger man

as Evan headed for the door. “Evan, don’t! Telling him now won’t help anything, he’ll only

be angry at you for keeping it from him all this time!” And he’d be angry at Josh, but it

wasn’t like Justin would break up with Josh and stop being his brother. This, though, Justin

might very well see as a betrayal by his lover…one of his lovers, Josh corrected.

Fear-fuelled desperation scorched Josh as he tried to cling to Evan. “Don’t do this, it

won’t make anything better. Please—” Josh grunted as Evan twisted around and pried him

off his back.

Evan looked at him with so much pain in his wide eyes that Josh’s heart pinched. “No.

You should be able to talk to him about this. I fucked up, and the consequences of that are

mine to deal with.” Evan gave Josh a little push backwards, enough so Josh stumbled and

had to catch himself on the couch. And enough that Evan slipped out the front door before

Josh could right himself.

Josh stared at the closed door and contemplated running after Evan. The sound of

heavy footsteps on the pavement stopped him. There was no way he could catch the man

now.

“Fuck! Fuck fuck fuck!” Josh pivoted on his heel and ran for his bedroom. Evan was

making a mistake, a huge one which could cost them all someone they loved. Josh did love

Evan, the man was like another brother, one that Josh hadn’t got along with, but that was his

own fault. Justin’s temper could be…explosive, and he could be mean when he lost control.

Josh knew his fear that Justin would say something he’d regret was well founded. Justin

loved Evan, but he also demanded honesty and trust, and both Evan and Josh had violated

that by keeping their silence.

Josh was just afraid the price Evan would pay would be far greater than the man

imagined.

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Chapter Three

Josh wasn’t exactly uncoordinated, but toss in a batch of sheer panic and evidently he

became a bumbling idiot. He tripped over his work shoes and proceeded to fall halfway

across the bedroom, finally landing with a bone-jarring thud. His chin smacked the floor

hard enough to send shards of pain screaming along his jaw and all the way around to the

back of his head. Blood pooled in his mouth and he gagged, dimly realising he’d bitten his

tongue.

“Ffthuck!” Josh shoved himself up to his hands and knees. His head spun like he’d

stood too quickly, and his vision swam with specks of black and grey. He’d been panicked…

“Ffthuck!” Blood and spit dribbled down his chin as the conversation with Evan slammed

into his head. Forget being dizzy, he had to hurry up and stop Evan from making a huge

mistake.

Josh crawled to the bed and swiped at the goop on his chin with the edge of the

blanket. The darker pink mix of blood and saliva looked kind of pretty on the hot pink

material. Slapping one hand around on the floor, he found his clogs. Ugliest shoes on the

planet, possibly, but damned comfortable. Josh rolled over onto his butt and slid the shoes

onto his feet. He scooted up the side of the bed and stood for a long moment until he was

somewhat certain his legs would hold him.

Spotting his cell phone on the nightstand, he carefully edged over and picked it up.

More blood gathered in his mouth. Josh tried not to think about it as he stumbled towards

the bathroom. He set the phone on the toilet tank then clenched his fingers around the lip of

the sink and stuck out his tongue, blanching when more pink tinged liquid ran down his

chin.

Giving up on seeing the damage just then, Josh let go of the sink, leaning his hips

against it as he turned the water on with one hand and grabbed the towel off the bar with the

other. He scooped some water up and rinsed his mouth then spat the nasty mix out before

repeating another two times. The coppery taste was much less discernible now. Josh stuck

out his tongue and breathed a sigh of relief. The bite was small but deep. Stitches wouldn’t

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be necessary—this time. They had been when he’d tumbled off the first horse he’d ridden,

and it had sucked giant toad nuts.

Josh rinsed once more then snatched up the cell phone and scurried from the

bathroom as he punched the button to call Annabelle.

“Keyths,” Josh mumbled. Where the hell had Evan put the keys? Not the table, he

would have seen them there. Josh spotted them on the slab of wafer wood setting on two

milk crates that Josh called a coffee table. He grabbed them just as Annabelle, sounding

satiated and drowsy, answered her phone.

“Stop Evan!” Josh shouted, rolling his eyes when it came out like ‘Schthop Ewan’

instead.

“What? Joshie, are you drunk?”

“No!” Josh opened the front door and slammed it hard enough to rattle the hinges. He

ran towards the steps and hoped he’d locked the stupid door. If he hadn’t, well, any burglars

better love hot pink, or else they wouldn’t be stealing much. Josh concentrated on not doing a

nose dive down the cement stairs and trying to talk clearly. Too slowly for his panicking self,

he got out, “Bit my thongue. Shtop Evan before he makesh a big mishtake. Wait for me, make

him wait for me!”

Josh was screeching by the last sentence. Annabelle stuttered that she’d do what he

asked before she cursed and informed him that whatever shit was going down, she would

put a stop to it. That she didn’t grill him any more before she hung up made Josh feel a tad

better. Annabelle was strong, and she could be meaner than a pms-ing badger, if those things

even did pms.

Still. Josh wished he was that brave. He was so scared of the fight he was sure was

coming once he reached his brother’s place that he didn’t even notice the big man in the

parking lot leaning against his car until Josh almost collided with him. He stopped so

suddenly he started to tip forward. Strong hands caught him and pulled him against a broad,

firm chest before spinning him around and pressing his back to the car.

Josh knew those hands, that chest, the woodsy smoky scent that filled his nostrils.

And, fuckitall, now was not the time for this! He shoved at the broad shoulders, jabbing the

point of his car key into one hard enough to draw a grunt from the bigger man.

“Let me go, athhole,” Josh snarled, thinking he sounded like a total idiot. His arms

were released only long enough for the other man to grab his wrists and pin them behind his

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back. A small struggle ensued that ended with both of Josh’s wrists trapped in one of the

man’s big hands. He shuddered as his legs were pinned between the bigger man’s thicker

ones. God, it was like one of his favourite fantasies, except for the fact his fantasy man wasn’t

a gaping asshole and Josh wasn’t on the verge of a nervous breakdown because the only

family he’d ever known was, quite possibly, about to implode. Josh tried to twist, kick,

wiggle, bite—that last one got him a hard slap on his ass, another fantasy but that just wasn’t

working for him right now.

“Cut it out before I turn you over my knee,” the man rumbled in a deep voice that had

haunted Josh since the night he’d kneed Nick in the balls at the Xxchange. His cell phone

clattered to the ground when the hand gripping that wrist squeezed tight enough to grind

his bones together. He tried to pull away when his chin was cupped, but it was useless. Pain

spread from the tight grip, and Josh grunted as his heart pounded like a jackhammer in his

chest.

“Your boyfriend knock the shit outta you?”

Josh glared up at the bigger man through slitted lids. He couldn’t make out the guy’s

features, but when had he ever been able to? Nick, creature of the dark, that’s how he was

going to think of the jerk from now on. Oh, and he’d tack on psycho stalker, too.

“Lemme go, dickhead,” Josh spat out, and was relieved the words were relatively

understandable. The hand holding his chin tightened and Josh couldn’t hold back a pained

cry.

“What the fuck did he do to you?” Nick snapped, tilting Josh’s head back.

Was the guy stupid? Couldn’t he tell it was his freaking hand causing the pain? Josh

hissed and Nick jerked his hand back only long enough to slide his thumb along Josh’s jaw.

“Answer me.”

Oh damn, that bossy tone just did it for Josh, and under any other circumstance—well,

in a sexual circumstance, at least—he’d have dropped to his knees and begged to blow his

partner. But this wasn’t his partner, it was Nick, who was probably Annabelle’s brother, and

he was a giant, weeping asshole—

“Josh!”

“I fell!” Josh yelled, his temper burning sudden and hot. “Now get the fuck off me,

you weirdo! What are you, some stalker? You have to be, watching me all the time!”

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Nick’s big body vibrated against his. Josh wasn’t sure why until he caught a flash of

narrowed dark eyes and a twist of thin lips. Definitely not a happy look.

“I haven’t been watching you all the time,” Nick growled. “Some, yeah, and I bet you

know why.”

Josh snorted. He doubted Nick was gay, so maybe he could scare him into letting go.

“Duh. I have a great ass, of course you’re following me.”

As far as plans went, his tanked. Nick huffed and trailed his hand down Josh’s chest,

then lower to his hip where Nick followed the slight curve around to Josh’s back. Josh

swallowed down a squeak as his ass cheek was kneaded then squeezed firmly.

“It is a very nice ass,” Nick concurred. “Not what I’m used to, but…”

Oh God! Not now! Josh felt a hard lump press against his stomach and groaned.

“Please, please, I have to go! That guy who was here, he’s…” Josh thought fast and

concluded he shouldn’t share too much with this man. “He helped raise me, he’s like a

brother to me, and…and he’s Annabelle’s boyfriend, and unless I get to his place quick, he’s

gonna blurt out something that…please! Just let me go!”

Nick was silent for a minute then he shook his head. “That makes no sense at all. Try

again.”

Josh felt tears of frustration slip down his cheeks before he could blink them back.

“Shit. Go.” Nick released him and stepped back. He stopped and picked up Josh’s

phone. “Here.”

Josh took the phone then turned and unlocked his car. His hands were shaking so bad

he wondered if he should drive, but he didn’t have any choice. He got in the car and

slammed the door shut, not giving his not-so-friendly neighbourhood stalker another glance.

The car started and Josh slapped his seatbelt on as he was backing out of the parking space.

He wasn’t surprised when a big truck pulled up behind him and proceeded to follow him

until he turned off onto his brother’s drive. Then Josh promptly forgot about Nick as he saw

the flailing arms and angry expressions of the three people on the porch.

He sped down the drive, his little car groaning and scraping over bumps, threatening

to get hung up in the ruts. He hit the brakes and threw the gear in park, then unbuckled and

jumped out of the car. His right foot slid, his ankle twisting painfully, but Josh didn’t let it

slow him.

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“Stop!” Josh shouted, trying to be heard over the cursing and screaming coming from

Justin, Annabelle, and Evan. Damn Nick for holding him up! And damn himself for being a

clumsy idiot. “Justin! Shut the hell up!” He wasn’t sure who was saying what, because the

other three were all hollering at the same time, but he knew his brother and the temper they

both had. Josh’s just took longer to kick in, but once he was mad, he tended to stay that way

while Justin’s anger always flamed bright and fast then passed quickly. Of course, that meant

Justin blew up and said all sorts of cruel crap that he later had to apologise for.

But Josh took one look at Evan’s stricken face and wondered what his brother had said

and whether there’d ever be an apology that could undo the hurt he saw in Evan’s sad eyes.

Whoever the idiot was who said confession was good for the soul didn’t know jackshit. Josh

shot up the steps and flung himself between Justin and Evan at the same time Annabelle did.

The impact of her shoulder catching him mid-back sent Josh’s breath shooting from his

lungs, but he didn’t notice, not when Justin was trying to side-step him, and one of Justin’s

big hands was clenched into a fist.

“Stop being an idiot, Justin, before it’s too fucking late!” Josh punctuated his order

with the only thing he could think to do to get his brother’s attention. He slapped Justin,

cutting off the curses and accusations he was spewing. Josh felt his knees quiver at the look

his brother turned on him. Fuck, I’m gonna die!

Justin blinked several times and his mouth dropped open. “What the hell?” he

spluttered, and Josh concluded that no one had tried slapping some sense into Justin in far,

far too long. “You hit me!”

“Justin,” Annabelle growled as she stepped forward.

Josh glanced at her and shook his head. “Take Evan inside. Justin is coming with me

for a twenty-four hour time out.”

“No, I’ll leave,” Evan said from behind him, and Josh gave Justin a glare he hoped

conveyed the promise of castration if his brother dared to open his mouth. Then Josh turned

and caught one of Evan’s arms as Annabelle grabbed the other.

“You’re not going anywhere,” Annabelle said before Josh could. “Justin’s being an ass

and he can go pout until he realises how much he’s fucked up and how much he needs to

grovel at your feet. And mine.”

Josh almost felt sorry for his brother, but Evan…Evan looked so hurt. Josh couldn’t

feel sorry for the man who’d put such a hopeless look in Evan’s eyes, even if that man was

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Justin. Josh shook his head and pointed towards the door. “No. If my brother wants to play

the wounded party here, then he can come spend the night with me. After all, he’s throwing

a fit over not being told about something that happened to me, right? Because”—now Josh

turned to glare at Justin—“he’s furious that I was endangered by a pedo, and he’s wanting to

hurt you, Evan, because you protected me, and you did it without winding up spending

twenty to life in prison or getting the needle. Obviously my brother has lost his marbles.”

“That’s not—” Justin began but Josh wasn’t giving him a chance to dig himself a

deeper hole.

“Shut the fuck up, brother mine, and get in the car before you drive away the two

people who, other than me, love you the most in this world.”

“Josh, really, I’ll leave, it’s only fair.”

Josh pointed to Justin. “Get in my car, now.” Then he turned back to address Evan’s

comment. “There is nothing, nothing fair about you being punished for trying to protect me

and Justin. We both know that eight years ago, Justin wouldn’t have handled that whole

incident well at all. He likely would still be in prison, and that’s not an exaggeration. He

never has been good at thinking first then acting or ranting. Just do me a favour, Ev,

Annabelle?” Josh waited until they both nodded. “Just try to remember, he’s not a horrible

guy. He’s just protective, and not only of me. I imagine part of the roaring, snarling beast in

him is pissed that Evan put himself in danger by confronting my would-be seducer. The

asswipe’s dad was very wealthy, and he wouldn’t have hesitated to crush Evan, Justin, or

me—or all of us, if he thought it’d make his son happy.”

Josh said a quick goodnight and jogged over to his car, wincing as each step made his

ankle twinge with pain. He got in and glared at Justin, then felt his anger melt a little at the

dawning realisation on Justin’s face.

“Don’t even consider getting out,” Josh muttered when Justin reached for the door

handle. “Just buckle up and resign yourself to a sleepless night at my place. You need to cool

off, and Evan needs to recover a bit from whatever it was you said to him, and Annabelle

was about ready to rip your balls off. So yeah, you get a time out.”

“I told him he was a liar and I couldn’t trust him and if I couldn’t trust him…” Justin

rushed the words out. Josh smacked himself in the forehead, completely unsurprised but still

flabbergasted.

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“Are you ever going to learn to just…shut up when you’re mad?” Josh shook his head

as he turned the car around and headed down the drive. “Really, Jus, look at how you’re

acting now. And it’s not over me, ‘cause I am an adult now and not in any danger from”—

Josh thought about Nick, and finished his sentence with less confidence than he would have

liked—“anyone.”

Justin groaned and dropped his head to his hands. “I know, but Josh, why didn’t you

tell me?”

Josh snorted and pulled the car onto the road. “Uh, because what I said was true, and

Evan knew it too. You would have tried to kill Crane, and we needed you! If your temper

wasn’t so volatile, we would have felt able to come to you, Jus, but you make it very hard to

confide in you when we have to worry what the repercussions may be.”

“I try,” Justin rasped, and Josh couldn’t miss the silvery streaks trickling down his

brother’s cheeks any more than he could miss hearing the sniffle or the strain in his voice.

“That’s why I don’t get too close to people, why I was afraid to really give Annabelle a

chance. I know I say things when I’m mad I shouldn’t, and I hurt people I love, and how long

are they gonna want to put up with that?”

Josh’s heart broke a little even as he noticed a vehicle behind him. Was it Nick? Josh

couldn’t tell in the darkness, and really, what did it matter if it was? He shrugged the

questions away and focused on his brother. “Evan’s put up with it for years, hasn’t he? And

surely he’s lost his temper and said stuff he didn’t mean. People do that, no couple—or

ménage—can live together in perfect harmony all the time. We’re all human, and we screw

up. I can remember once when Evan broke up with you, years ago, but it was over something

stupid.”

Justin’s laughter was watery, but it gave Josh hope. “Yeah, it was actually right

before…before you went to work for the Cranes’. He dumped me ‘cause he’d had a bad day

and we got into an argument over whose turn it was to do the dishes. That’s why to this day

we try to do them together.”

Josh nodded as he tapped his fingers on the steering wheel. “See? Y’all got past that,

and y’all will get past this, too. You’re gonna have to grovel, I wasn’t joking about that, and

maybe you’ll be humbled enough to be more careful next time you get mad. I can tell you for

sure Annabelle won’t let you and Evan split up. She’s keeping you both, and nothing will

change that.”

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“I can grovel,” Justin said with an enthusiasm that Josh was sure even Evan in his

distraught state would have found endearing. “Maybe you should take me back and—”

“Nope,” Josh cut off his brother without having to think about it. “Take tonight and

tomorrow to think it through, come up with the perfect apology, and mean it. Remember this

night the next time you’re tempted to throw a hissy. And make the apologies great, because I

don’t want you as a permanent couch resident. You’ll cramp my wild bachelor ways.”

Justin didn’t laugh but he did grin as he leant back in his seat. “I can do that. I will do

that. Hey Josh,” Justin leant up and craned his neck around as he peered out the back

windshield. “You think it’s strange that vehicle’s been following us since right after we

pulled out from home? You’ve taken two turns since then, and it’s still behind us. Why don’t

you take this left up here?”

Josh squashed the butterflies swarming in his stomach. “No, I think it’s just someone

who happens to be going in the same direction. Don’t be so paranoid.” Josh took the left and

cringed when the other vehicle followed. Shit.

“Hey Josh,” Justin said quietly, but Josh wasn’t fooled. He knew that low, soft tone

meant trouble. “There something you want to tell me before I have you pull in at this

convenience store and have a chat with whoever that is behind us?”

“Mm, no?” Josh refused to look at his brother. “I’m telling you he isn’t—”

“He?” Justin asked even more quietly.

“Or she,” Josh said as beads of sweat popped up on his forehead and above his top

lip. “Whoever it is—”

“Then turn,” Justin ordered.

Josh couldn’t think of an argument not to, so he turned into the parking lot of the

closed convenience store, praying the other vehicle would pass on by. He nearly wept with

relief when it did, until it pulled in the second entry way and parked a dozen feet away. Big

black truck with Montana plates. Shit!

“Just someone going the same way?” Justin snapped as he reached for his seat belt. “I

don’t think so,” Josh snapped back, flooring the gas pedal. His little car groaned but the tires

spun and they were peeling out in a semi-respectable hail of pebbles, dust, and screeching as

rubber left marks on asphalt. “You’ve already had one temper tantrum tonight that caused

damage, you are not going to have another.”

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Justin glared at him, but Josh wasn’t a kid any more, and Justin needed to get that

through his head.

“I do know who that is, and I do know why he’s following me, and it’s fine—”

although he wasn’t sure about that, “and it’s none of your business, either.” Josh wasn’t sure

about that, either, but there was no way he was letting Justin handle his problems. “We get to

the apartments, you’re gonna march your happy ass up to my place and go wait for me

inside. If it makes you feel better, you can watch from the living room window, but you will

not interfere. Just for once stop thinking of me as your little brother, and realise I am,

actually, a man.”

Justin looked behind them, no doubt watching the truck follow them. He turned and

glanced at Josh, giving him a bare dip of chin. “All right, I’ll try, that’s all I can promise,

especially when I think there’s more to it than what you’re telling me. Like, I’m thinking this

is the guy who put that big ol’ mark on you.”

Geez, Justin is never going to forget that huge hickey Nick planted on my neck before I racked

him! “I put a mark or two on him, too,” like a kneecap to his balls. “It’ll be fine, I’m telling you.

Let me be a grownup for once.”

Josh didn’t believe Justin was capable of doing that, but true to his word, his brother

hopped out of the car and walked away, only stopping once to watch as the black truck

pulled into the parking lot. Josh got out and made a shooing motion with his hand, and

Justin continued without looking back again, although Josh did see him peering through the

window once he’d gone upstairs. Then Josh turned away as he heard Nick get out of his

truck. Time to see what stupid game the other man was really playing at.

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Chapter Four

God, Josh had just had it with stupid men and stupid egos and stalkers and bad days

and getting hurt! He now understood what it meant when someone said ‘But he seemed so

normal, then he just…snapped’.

Josh was damn well ready to do some snapping himself. Necks, nuts, knees—he

wasn’t feeling particularly picky as he waited for Nick to approach. It wasn’t until he realised

he’d actually parked by the one working light in the parking area that it dawned on him he

would have to go to Nick.

God forbid he see the stalker, harder to identify him in court that way. “Stupid

freaking—” Josh bit his lip to keep from spewing more ugly words. Hadn’t there already

been enough of that tonight? Still, he was less than civil when he stomped—okay, hobbled,

but stomped sounded so much better in his mind—over to where Nick leaned against the

bumper of his truck. A glance behind him assured Josh Nick had picked this spot for more

than just the darkness. Anyone looking out of Josh’s windows would see shit-all that

happened.

Justin would surely be pounding down the cement stairs in under five minutes. Josh

glared hard up at his brother staring down at him then turned back to glare at Nick as Josh

made his way between parked cars to reach the man.

“What are you doing?!” Josh slapped a hand over his own mouth, surprised at the way

he’d shrieked. Nick’s broad shoulders shook as the big idiot laughed and Josh decided there

hadn’t been anywhere near enough mean words or violence tonight. Especially violence. Josh

had his knee in motion before he had time to think the move through. If he had thought

about it, he might have remembered his sprained ankle and realised trying to put all his

weight on it was a very bad idea. Nick simply stepped aside and let Josh slam into the tailgate.

“Looks like that hurt,” Nick mused. Josh wished he had Annabelle’s nail clippers. He

could manage a castration with them. “I got smart after the last time you tried to knock my

nuts into my throat.”

“You didn’t get smart, you got lucky,” Josh snapped, glad he didn’t whimper like he

wanted to, because his ankle was hurting like a bitch, the pain growing exponentially with

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every beat of his heart. “If I hadn’t sprained my ankle—hey!” Nick could move faster than

Josh thought. He must be hurt worse than he’d suspected to be letting Nick pick him up and

toss him over his broad…firm…muscled… “Stop it,” Josh hissed, more to himself than to

Nick, who was carrying him like a damned sack of potatoes over his shoulder.

“Aw now, I think you like being, hmm, manhandled.”

Even Josh’s ankle wasn’t as painful as that joke. “God, shoot me now if you’re gonna

spew lame crap like that.”

“Don’t tempt me,” Nick growled, and he didn’t sound the least bit amused.

Well, well, someone can’t take constructive criticism. More info for Josh’s arsenal. The

truck’s horn beeped then Nick pulled open the passenger side door and plopped Josh down

hard enough to rattle his teeth. Josh didn’t care, he was busy grinning up at a hatless and

apparently clueless about it, Nick.

Josh’s grin faded a bit as he got a good look at Nick’s thick, dark hair. It was a little

longer than fashionable, and wavy, with a hint of white at the temples. By the time Josh

finished his quick inspection, he wasn’t so much as smirking or even twitching his lips,

because he realised he might just be fucked. Nick whatever his name was, was the walking

epitome of sex. Well, if sex wasn’t the quickest guy on the planet and told shitty jokes.

Still, thick black brows that were just made to arch and accentuate those ‘I’m better

than you’ looks he bet Nick handed out like candy at a parade, large—God, Josh was a

sucker right here—large dark eyes that looked to be black but surely were a dark brown, a

narrow nose that had evidence of at least one break, giving it a bump that saved it from

being pretty—Josh did prefer to be the pretty one, truthfully. He liked men who were way

more masculine than him, and Nick had enough masculine to kick all the little boys in Texas

right through puberty and into manhood in a blink. So, perfect nose, thin top lip and fuller

bottom on, square chin and strong jaw… And those shoulders…

“What are you—shit!” Nick jumped back away from the truck. Josh wondered if he

wasn’t quick in more ways than one.

“It’s your fault you ruined the mystery in our relationship. It’s all downhill from

here,” Josh sang out, “the thrill is gooonnnnneeee…”

“God, would you shut up?” Nick reappeared with his hat back in place. “And we

don’t have a relationship—”

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Josh clucked his tongue and wagged a finger at Nick. “So not true! You’re stalking me,

and now you’ve kidnapped me. I’ll probably develop Stockholm Syndrome and start

humping your leg in sheer desperation any minute now.”

He really thought he got Nick with that because Nick’s eyes widened—how could

they possibly do that?—and his mouth dropped open, but then he roared with laughter and

thumped Josh on the back hard enough to rattle his teeth.

“You’re something else, you now that?”

“Well, duh,” Josh sniped. “Are we done here? Does this conclude out stalking session

for the day? Or, wait! Twice in twenty four hours, less than a couple of hours, so I shouldn’t

be expecting any more incidents in, say”—Josh tapped his chin and stared up at the

headliner—“oh, forever maybe?” Josh tried to scoot out of the truck only to very nearly end

up humping one of Nick’s thick thighs. Josh’s humour and patience imploded and sent up a

big cloud of pissed off through his system.

“Oh, would you fucking stop already? Find someone else to bug and stalk, and find a

better goddamned excuse than spying on your brother and sister, who are doing just fine

without you!” Oops. That might have been too much. The Bitch Queen was unloosed and possessed

my innocent soul. And crap, but Nick looked really mad, worse than when Josh had kneed

him in the balls. Josh scurried back across the seat, because an exit through the driver’s side

sounded like the most excellent idea ever.

Nick must have developed some last minute superhero powers because he had Josh

by his ankle and was jerking him back towards the passenger door. Josh’s vision dimmed as

the throbbing in his ankle slammed up his leg, kicked him in the gut, then cracked his brain

into tiny pieces that screamed in agony.

“Josh! Josh!”

“Another boyfriend of yours—Josh?”

Josh knew he was dying, because Nick didn’t look mad, or scornful, or like Josh was

contagious with gayness that Nick just knew he’d catch. He looked…worried? Guilty? Yeah,

no, Josh was dying. Lack of sex could do that to a guy his age, he’d heard tales—

The truck rocked with the force of an impact. Josh was going with an elephant, or

maybe a small rhino. Nick had disappeared and there was a lot of cussing and what sounded

like fists hitting—

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“Oh no, no—” Josh forced down the nausea that swirled in his stomach and made his

jaws water. He scooted towards the open passenger door and narrowly missed getting

tackled by one big body, he thought it might have been Justin. This would not do, Annabelle

was going to kick his ass if Justin got broke.

“Enough! Stop it before I call Annabelle over here to kick both your asses!”

“She can kick my ass all she wants and I’ll love every goddamn minute of it, but I

won’t let some fuckin’ psycho hurt you!” A solid punch followed what was obviously

Justin’s declaration.

“You chasing after another man’s girl, boy?” Nick, and the punch sounded the same,

and the grunt that followed sounded like Justin’s. “Or maybe you like hurting the pretty

boys like Josh here—”

Josh didn’t need to hear the growl to know it was Justin’s. The lamplight caught

Justin’s face and Josh was petrified for a moment. He’d never seen his brother look that

angry, and he knew once again he and Evan had been right to keep their secret from him.

Evan had been an idiot for finally deciding to share, because if he hadn’t, Josh wouldn’t be

sitting here thinking he was going to have to decide what to tell a jury when his brother went

on trial for murder.

Until Justin snarled, “Josh is my brother, you sick fuck, and Annabelle is my girl—and

my partner’s girl.”

Then Josh did the only thing he could think of, since there were two over-

testosteroneised morons circling each other with murder in their eyes. He leapt from the

truck onto his good foot and tackled the closest man to him. He had a fifty-fifty chance…

“Jus, please, I think maybe my ankle’s broke, and I can’t…” His leg slipped, his foot

slapping the ground, and Josh didn’t have time to see who caught him before he finally

blissfully passed out.

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Chapter Five

He really didn’t want to open his eyes and lose the cocoon of safety unconsciousness

provided him.

“Josh, damn it, wake up!”

Justin sounded furious as he lightly slapped Josh’s cheek. Josh groaned and batted at

his brother’s hand. He had had enough of that particular emotion tonight. The sounds of a

scuffle and a grunt made him pry his eyes open anyway as warm breath washed over his

face.

“Stop smacking him, he’s already beat to hell!”

Josh blinked then inhaled sharply as he stared into eyes so dark he couldn’t

distinguish the pupils from irises. Nick. Josh opened his mouth to say…something, maybe

‘You fucking idiot’, or, more likely, ‘You have the sexiest eyes I’ve ever seen’, but all that

came out was a sputtered cough that sent Nick reeling backwards.

Not the cough, Josh realised when the sound of fist meeting flesh penetrated his

confusion. Nick landed on his ass with Justin hovering over him. The two bigger men glared

at each other for one long moment then dove at each other again.

They were both fucking idiots, and obviously not the least bit concerned about him.

He was just an excuse for them to revert into testosterone-infused, chest thumping, dick

wagging dumbasses. Josh sat up carefully, keeping an eye on the fighting. They looked

pretty evenly matched. He scooted back on the asphalt, careful to keep his weight off his

throbbing ankle. When he was close enough, Josh hooked an elbow onto the passenger side

floorboard of the truck, grateful it’d been left open. With his other hand he grabbed the

inside door handle support and slowly pulled himself up until he stood on his good foot. The

other two men were still going at it.

Josh hurt from head to toe, but did either of those guys care? Not that Nick should or

would care, Josh was only a possible source of information. But Justin should at least be more

concerned about his brother than his freaking pride, shouldn’t he? Even his hot temper

wasn’t an excuse for forgetting about Josh. San Francisco was looking better and better, Josh

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thought, his eyes burning with tears he tried to blink back. He would not stand here and have

a pity party for himself. Justin loved him, he was just…

“Whatever.” Josh was done making excuses for his brother, and he had no business

making them for Nick so he didn’t bother. With a last glance at the two men, Josh turned and

heaved himself into Nick’s truck. He’d seen the keys in the ignition earlier, and he still had

his own in his pocket. He scooted across the seat, indignation and the sting of his brother

forgetting about him firing him into action. It wasn’t until he looked at the shifter that he

realised there’d be a problem with his plan.

Josh’s laughter sounded a little hysterical to his own ears. Figures Nick would drive a

standard. Could this night get any worse? The driver’s side door was flung open and Josh found

himself confronted by a battered, snarling Nick. I had to ask. Josh slumped in the seat, his

hand dropping off the steering wheel. His ankle throbbed as his heartbeat increased, and

Josh thought for a minute he might get to escape back into that lovely comforting darkness as

spots pulsed in his vision.

“Shit.”

Nick’s deep voice caused Josh’s heart to race for a totally different reason and he

mentally cursed himself. What was it about this one man that got to him?

“Come on, let’s get you to the hospital.” Nick leaned in and touched Josh’s shoulder.

“You’re bleeding.”

Josh rolled his tongue, his stomach heaving at the taste of blood. Lifting the hem of his

T-shirt up to swipe at his mouth, Josh frowned as he looked at the bigger man. Nick was

bleeding too, and where was Justin?

“Josh, come here and let me drive you to the hospital.”

Josh turned his head to glare at his brother. Justin was leaning in the passenger side,

his face as battered and bruised as Nick’s. Annabelle was going to kick all of their asses. Josh

was in at least as deep shit with her for keeping his mouth shut about Nick.

“I’ll take him,” Nick growled to Josh’s left. Justin snarled and started to argue.

Josh wondered why guys always bitched that women were the moodier, complicated

sex. He pointed at his brother when Justin looked like he was fixing to go after Nick again.

“Stop it, or so help me I will pack everything I own and be on the first plane out of this

hell hole in the morning. Then you two idiots can beat each other to death.”

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Justin looked like he’d just been kicked by a horse but Josh slapped down any

sympathy for his brother. He turned back to Nick. “Do you think it’s possible for you to

drive me to the hospital without kidnapping me, bullying me, intimidating me, or trying to

kill my brother?”

Nick’s clipped nod and averted eyes was the only answer he got, but it was enough.

“Fine.” Josh pulled the keys from his pocket and flung them at Justin. Justin caught

them right before they would have hit his chest, much to Josh’s disappointment. “Jus, either

follow us since you are convinced Nick’s a psycho—” Josh glared from one man to the other,

settling backing on his brother. “I think you both are, but whatever. Follow us, ride with us,

or fucking stay here. I don’t care at this point.” Josh looked away and gingerly edged to the

middle of the bench seat. He knew he was losing man points for crying, but he hurt, and not

just physically. As much as he hated self-pity, it sure seemed to have a stranglehold on him

tonight.

“I’ll ride with,” Justin said, his voice rough and strained. No doubt from the idea of

riding with Nick, Josh thought. The truck bounced as the two larger men got in and Josh

found himself pressed between two brawny shoulders. If one of them hadn’t been his

brothers’, and if Josh hadn’t felt like he’d been run over by a Mack Truck, he might have

sprouted wood. As it was he let his chin drop to his chest and crossed his arms over it for

good measure in an attempt to keep from touching either man.

Justin’s arm slid over his shoulder and pulled Josh to his brother’s side. “Josh, I’m

sorry. I should have—”

“Whatever,” Josh snapped, all thoughts of trying to be a responsible adult fleeing as

he gave in to the need to pout. Why should he worry about trying to be mature when he was

surrounded at this moment by two men who each had the mentality of a teenage boy? And

that was being generous. Josh was pretty sure most teenage boys would have more sense

than these two. He sank farther down into the seat as Nick started the truck.

“Watch your knee.”

Josh felt the brush of a hand over his leg then watched as Nick carefully moved his leg

aside in order to shift gears. Justin rumbled and Josh, well past fed up with the cavemen on

either side of him, drove his elbow into Justin’s ribs. The grunt and hissed exhalation from

his brother almost made Josh feel better.

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The silence in the truck was anything but comfortable on the drive to the hospital and

Josh didn’t care to attempt to ease it. Normally he’d have babbled until some of the tension

bled away, but screw it. He wasn’t going to waste his time trying to make this easier on

Justin or Nick, and he was too miserable to let something like their discomfort affect him. He

wouldn’t even let Justin hold him like this, pressing him to his brother’s side, if he wasn’t

hurting so damned bad. And as stupid as it was, Josh wished the pain that was twisting him

up inside was from his ankle, not from the way his brother had left him lying there hurting

on the asphalt.

* * * *

Stupid, selfish, idiotic fucking jackass! Nick gripped the wheel until his abraded knuckles

ached, then squeezed even harder. He glanced at Josh huddled against his brother’s side,

using the right turn he was making as an excuse to do so. What kind of man had he become,

following the kid, bullying and intimidating him, hurting him? Nick knew he had. Josh’s

pinched expression, his pained gasp when Nick had grabbed the smaller man’s ankle in the

truck, would be haunting Nick for a long time.

And I didn’t stop there, did I? Maybe at first he’d been trying to defend himself, but he

hadn’t even tried to talk to…to Justin, had he? No, he’d just gone after the man in a manner

that was so unlike himself Nick wondered if he shouldn’t have his head checked out. Then

when Justin had made that comment about Annabelle and him…and another man, Justin’s

partner, who must have been the guy Josh was with earlier, well, Nick had kind of freaked

out.

Which was beyond stupid, considering he hadn’t ever talked to Annabelle or Rory.

He’d known about them, of course he had. His bastard of a father hadn’t ever missed an

opportunity to throw his two perfect kids—two perfect white kids—in Nick’s face. Ian

Calhoun had made it perfectly clear that he thought it was fine to fuck around with Nick’s

Hispanic mother, but the idea of having a kid with her or marrying her was contemptuous.

But in the end, the old bastard had been glad enough that Nick’s mama hadn’t got the

abortion Ian had tried to force her to get. If she hadn’t considered herself a good Catholic girl

despite being seduced by her employer, Nick likely wouldn’t have been born.

“Next left,” Justin grunted out.

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Nick signalled. He knew where the hospital was, but pointing that out would likely

lead to another fight with the hot-headed man. And contrary to his earlier behaviour, Nick

wasn’t a violent man. If he was, he’d never have let Josh take him down in the Xxchange.

Nick was more than capable of defending himself, but he hadn’t wanted to hurt the smaller

man, and it wasn’t like Nick hadn’t deserved what Josh had done. He risked another quick

glance at the small form beside him. Hell, he deserved a lot worse. Nick caught Justin’s angry

gaze and tipped his head in acknowledgement. Yep, Nick was an asshole. Justin’s disregard

of Josh didn’t make him feel less like an asshole, either. Nick could understand the other

man’s fury; he felt strangely protective of Josh and he didn’t even know the guy, not really.

But I know how he tastes, how his lips feel against mine, those little whimpers he makes when

he’s turned on, the way the muscles rippled in his back under my hands, the way his ass fits in my

palms. And damned if Nick could understand why any of it got to him, why it made the pit of

his stomach clench and burn and his dick ache to feel Josh’s touch. He wasn’t gay, hadn’t

ever thought of another man that way, so why now? Why Josh? Nick couldn’t figure it out.

Maybe it was just the influence of where they’d been. Nick hadn’t ever stepped foot in a

place like the Xxchange before—why would he have?

But when he’d seen Annabelle and Josh slip inside the place, he’d followed, and

gaped like the redneck straight guy he was. He’d snapped his mouth shut, but not before a

few kids had snickered and even groped at him. Nick hadn’t been aroused by them—he

wasn’t even sure they were legal, and he’d nearly broke himself backing away from their

grabby hands—but he’d seen the way Josh had looked at some of the other men there with

hungry eyes, and Nick had come up with what he thought was a brilliant plan. Now he

wondered if it hadn’t just been an excuse to get close to Josh. Even in the dim light of the

club, Josh’s beauty had been obvious, and maybe that was part of the reason Nick found

himself drawn to the smaller man. His big eyes and lush lips were beautiful; Nick would have

been drawn to any woman with features such as Josh’s.

Yeah, right. That body you slid your hands over, the firm muscled flesh you touched and

squeezed, Josh’s hard cock pressed up against my thigh—none of those things felt the least bit

feminine, and they all set my balls to boiling and my dick to leaking. And the way Josh’s sweet mouth

tasted, the strength in his small body, his fierce grip, there wasn’t anything feminine about those
things, either, and I want him more than I ever wanted anyone else. Fuck! How did this happen? And

what am I gonna do?

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* * * *

Some of Josh’s anger had bled away by the time Nick pulled up to the ER. Josh just

didn’t have the energy to hang on to his mad. He let Justin help him out of the truck but, as

much as he hurt, it wasn’t enough to let Justin carry him into the hospital like his brother was

trying to insist on doing.

Nick’s arm slipping around Josh’s back, the bigger man nudging his shoulder into

Josh’s armpit, stopped Justin mid-argument. “Get his other side and try to remember Josh is

a man, not a kid. He’s got his pride just like you do.”

Josh knew he was staring, knew his mouth was wide open in shock, but he couldn’t

help it. Somehow he’d totally missed the alien invasion that had placed a mature and

reasonable brain in Nick’s skull. Nick’s shy grin—and Josh knew he had to be hallucinating,

there wasn’t a shy bone in that man’s body—as he glanced away sent all sorts of tingly

feelings through Josh.

“Might want to shut your mouth, Josh,” Justin whispered as he worked his arm under

Josh’s. “You’re liable to catch a click beetle or blister bug out here under these lights.”

Josh snapped his mouth shut. True enough. All kinds of creepy crawlies swarmed the

fluorescent lights, and it’d be his luck one would decide to spelunk in his mouth. Then Josh

would have to add the humiliation of vomiting until his stomach flopped out to the list of

tonight’s indignities. He hissed as his ankle was jostled when he tried to hop.

“Maybe I should get a wheelchair,” Nick offered, still not looking at him. “I’ll be right

back.”

Nick went through the double doors and Josh found himself the recipient of his

brother’s scrutiny.

“Who is he?”

Josh bristled at Justin’s tone. He’d heard that tone every time he’d been in trouble as a

kid. He wasn’t a kid now, and Justin was in more trouble with him so his brother could take

that reproving look and his parental attitude and cram it up his—

The doors whooshed open and Misty, a bubbly young nurse Josh always got a kick

out of, came jogging out pushing a wheelchair. Nick was nowhere to be seen.

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Misty’s eyes bugged as she looked at him and Justin. “Crap, Josh, what happened to

you? And you,” Misty narrowed her eyes at Justin. “If you or that other big idiot did this to

him, you’re both going to have most of the staff of St. Mark’s after you.”

Josh snorted at that. The image of some of the nurses he worked with smacking Justin

and Nick with bedpans and clipboards made him feel a little better. He let Justin and Misty

get him settled in the chair then he patted Misty’s hand.

“Neither one of them hurt me, Misty. I fell.”

“Riiight,” Misty muttered, glaring at Josh first then Justin. “Because we never hear

that excuse more than, oh, a dozen times a week. Let me guess, you fell down the stairs or

walked into a door.”

Josh winced. They did hear excuses like that all the time, usually from women who

had obviously been abused. How bad did he look, that Misty assumed he was a victim? Josh

touched her hand as Justin sputtered denials, something else they heard too often.

“Misty, I really did fall. I tripped over my shoes when I was trying to find my keys so I

could get to my brother’s house—that would be this idiot here”—Josh waved a hand at his

glowering brother—“to try to keep him from doing something stupid. And I twisted my

ankle—”

Misty huffed and rolled the chair through the doors and into the waiting room. Josh

quit trying to explain, because yeah, he wasn’t going to convince her that he’d done this to

himself.

“Hey! What—”

Josh looked up at Justin’s startled exclamation. The police officer who was on security

duty had one hand clamped on Justin’s shoulder. Officer Stanton was a hard ass cop, not

mean, he just didn’t take anything off anyone. His cold grey eyes narrowed as he looked Josh

over from heel to head.

“Sir, you and the other gentleman will be coming with me.” Stanton tilted his head to

the left and Josh peered around him to find Nick standing with his arms crossed and his

head down, leaning against the wall.

“But, we didn’t—Josh fell! I wouldn’t—” Justin sputtered as Stanton pushed him back.

“I didn’t say you did,” Stanton growled, “but three men just showed up here, and two

of them have obviously been beating the hell out of each other, and one of our favourite

nurses is hurt, and someone is going to start explaining this shit to me. Now.”

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“Uh,” Josh managed, his mind blanking as Stanton grabbed Justin’s arm and half-

dragged him to where Nick stood.

“Let Officer Stanton handle it,” Misty advised, “and just tell the truth. Remember,

there’s no reason for you to be ashamed. You didn’t ask to be a victim.”

Josh groaned and caught his head in his hands. “I’m not! I swear I’m not! I tripped, I

hit my chin, bit my tongue, hauled ass to my brother’s, tripped up the steps at his place, and

hauled him back to my apartment! Then Nick was there and—”

“Shh, now calm down, we’ll take care of you.” Misty rubbed his shoulder blades then

pushed him into a small curtained off area. “Dr Meyers will be right with you. The other ER

patients aren’t here for anything major, and we’re going to get you fixed up right away.

Don’t worry about Stanton throwing those two thugs in jail.”

Josh’s temple throbbed so hard he thought a vein might burst. “One of those idiots is

my brother!”

Misty clucked her tongue and shook her head. “Well, there’s no helping who our

family is.”

“Oh God,” Josh groaned. He just had to ask if the night could get any worse, didn’t

he? Annabelle was going to shit kittens—Josh reached for his cell phone only to discover it

wasn’t in any of his pockets. It must have fallen out God only knew where. Resigned to his

fate, sort of, he looked up at Misty as she prepared to help him move to the bed. “I need to

make a call, like right now.”

“Fine.” Misty plucked the receiver up from the phone beside the hospital bed.

“Number?”

Sealing his fate with each digit, Josh quietly reeled off Annabelle’s phone number. If

Justin and Nick thought they were in trouble now, just wait until Annabelle got hold of them.

Maybe he could get Dr Meyers to knock him out before it was his turn to get reamed by his

best friend, but Josh knew he wouldn’t be so lucky.

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Chapter Six

Annabelle was so pissed her teeth were chattering. She glared through the bars of the

cell at the two men who were too busy glaring at each other to notice her. Both were battered,

bloodied and bruised, but if it was up to her, they’d have a few more knots upside their

damned heads.

“Take a deep breath, Belle,” Evan whispered, the words strained with the weight of

his own anger. “We don’t know what happened.”

“We know that Joshie is hurt and these two morons were going after each other in the

parking lot outside his apartment,” Annabelle snapped, her strident voice startling the men

in the cell so that two sets of blackening eyes turned to her. “We know that the goddamned

hospital won’t tell us jack shit because we aren’t Joshie’s ‘family’.” Annabelle spat the last

word out contemptuously. She’d nearly flown over the admitting desk when the smug

woman behind it had told her and Evan that. If it hadn’t been for Evan’s calm head she’d

probably be sitting in the cell with her other lover and…Annabelle stared down the older

man with the pitch black eyes. Wouldn’t those peepers go well with the bruising Justin had

beaten onto him? Despite her anger she smirked at the man. Josh had been coherent enough

to tell her Hoover-hickey dude was the man Justin had been fighting with.

“You,” Annabelle pointed at the man, her finger as steady as her voice. “You better

hope I don’t see you again. I promised Josh I’d castrate you with the very dull pair of nail

clippers I’ve been carrying around just for that purpose.”

The man’s dark complexion paled, his gaze dropping away. “Yes ma’am.”

Annabelle frowned at him. That had been too easy. Justin’s snicker forced her

concentration to shift to him. His eyes widened as he snapped his mouth shut. Annabelle

pointed and Justin flinched. “As for you, the only reason I’m bailing your ass out is so we can

see Joshie.”

“Belle… Now might not be the best time to do this,” Evan muttered as Justin turned

his head away. “He thinks you’re tossing him.”

Annabelle took in the defeated droop of Justin’s shoulders and only then noticed the

way his big body was trembling. Crap! What was she doing judging Justin for his short

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temper when hers wasn’t any better? Forgetting about the other man in the cell, Annabelle

linked one hand with Evan’s and slipped her other between the bars.

“Jus, baby, no…” When Justin still didn’t look at her, she thought her heart was

shearing right in two. “Justin, look at me.” She didn’t bother trying to keep the plea from her

voice, not when she knew she’d unthinkingly been so cruel. Justin took a shuddering breath,

then another before swiping at his eyes and slowly facing her. The pain in those beautiful

eyes speared through Annabelle like a white-hot pike. When he didn’t stand to take her

hand, Annabelle curled her fingers around the bar so tightly her nails dug into her palm.

“Don’t you know I love you and Evan more and more with each breath I take, each beat of

my heart?” Cheesy or not, it was true, and she wasn’t a romantic woman, or hadn’t been

before, but she had to try.

Evan’s strangled gasp was a twin of Justin’s. She glanced over her shoulder at Evan,

hoping he saw the truth of her words in her eyes. The love she saw reflected back at her

chased away some of the fear that she’d fucked all this, all of them, up. Evan looked as if he

was going to speak, then he glanced past Annabelle just as she felt a large rough hand cover

hers on the cell bar. Annabelle started to turn her head only to have her cheek cupped by

Justin’s other hand. She had a second to note the tears on his cheeks and the trembling of his

hands, then she was being pulled forward until Justin’s lips met hers. It wasn’t comfortable,

not with her face framed by cold steel, but it was the sweetest kiss she’d ever had and every

brush of Justin’s lips knitted her heart back together.

“When you’re done I’ll let him out,” a voice drawled from several feet behind her.

Annabelle didn’t acknowledge Officer Stanton until Justin ended the kiss with a final

soft press of lips. Then she turned and winked at the police officer as she peered over Evan’s

shoulder. Officer Stanton didn’t so much as blink.

“No charges this time,” he said in a voice that made it clear he wasn’t happy about

that one bit. “Unless it turns out one of them did hurt Josh.” He levelled a look at both men

that made even Annabelle want to whimper. “If that’s the case, I don’t care who either of

these idiots are, I’ll make sure they spend a good while in McAllen.”

Justin grunted at the mention of the prison. Annabelle turned back to him and patted

his cheek before glaring at the other man in the cell. If he hurt Josh again, prison would be

the least of his worries. He nodded once then turned his attention to something on the floor.

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Once Justin was freed Annabelle hugged him gingerly, unsure of where he was

bruised. Evan put his arms around the two of them and placed a chaste kiss on each of their

cheeks. “Love you too, Belle,” he rasped before giving Justin a long look. Justin touched

Evan’s cheek with the back of his battered knuckles. His quiet apology to them brought tears

to her eyes and Evan’s as well. His vow to love them both and be a better man sent them

spilling over.

Annabelle was heady with the emotions welling in her as she left the police station

with her lovers, unconcerned with what Stanton might have thought about the relationship

she, Evan and Justin shared. And she definitely didn’t give a flying damn about what the jerk

still sitting in the cell thought. As far as she was concerned, his balls were hers if she ever saw

him again.

* * * *

Josh tried to focus on what Dr Meyers was saying as the man pointed at the x-ray.

“…lateral malleolus fracture,” yeah, yeah, yeah, give me some damned pain meds! The part about

the fracture not being as bad as it could have been—his fibula wasn’t out of place, which was

good, had Josh hoping he wouldn’t miss much work, but he still wanted something to knock

him out, or at least make him so loopy he wasn’t aware he was hurting. If it could make him

forget the events of this shitty night, that’d be even better.

Dr Meyers finally shut up about his ankle but before Josh could do more than open his

mouth, intending to ask for something good for the pain, the doctor was poking at his tongue

with a depressor. “Stick your tongue out for me, please.”

Josh rolled his eyes and did as the doctor requested. “It wouldn’t hurt to put a couple

of stitches in to close this up,” Meyers surmised. He sent the nurse for a stitch kit and an

ankle brace. In short order Josh found himself with his mouth gaping open and his tongue

hanging out, drool running down his chin onto his shirt. Which was of course, he thought

mentally cursing his luck, when Annabelle, Justin and Evan pulled the curtain aside and

stepped into the temporary ‘room’. One look at the grins on the three of them and Josh

groaned. He was never going to hear the end of this.

“This should be interesting,” Annabelle said, barely covering a snicker before her

amusement vanished. She looked him over, her gaze lingering on the ankle brace first then

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the bruising under and on his chin. “How the hell did you manage to do all this in one

night?”

Josh narrowed his eyes at all of them. Like he could answer! This was exactly like

being in the dentist’s chair; the dental techs and dentist never failed to ask all kinds of

questions once they had your mouth propped open and were jabbing around inside. Josh

decided silence was his only option. After a quick check to make sure Justin wasn’t too badly

whipped, and seeing the way the three lovers stood with ease so closely to one another, he

closed his eyes and let his mind drift. Floating on the pain reliever Doctor Meyers had only

moments before shot into his hip, Josh found himself thinking about Nick. Not the bad

memories, the hurt and humiliation he’d felt when he’d realised Nick was just using him, or

the flutter of hope—although he’d never tell Nick—that had tried to build in him when he’d

discovered the man was, well, stalking him, even though that wasn’t really what Nick had

been doing. He’d only been trying to get more information on Annabelle and Rory.

That bit of realism threatened to tank Josh’s high and he shoved it aside. He’d rather

think about Nick, his dark eyes burning with a need only Josh could meet. Granted, it was

kind of hard to figure out what Nick would look like naked since Josh hadn’t ever been with

him—or any other man who could even compare, really, just a couple of other guys built

more like himself. But he just knew Nick would be magnificent, all bronze skin and thick,

sinewy muscle. He’d have a long heavily veined cock, with such girth Josh wouldn’t be able

to close his hand around it, and big full balls that hung low between his thighs so Josh could

easily cup them. Josh could acknowledge that he had a…thing, for balls. He loved them,

loved rubbing his face against them, feeling their weight on his chin, slapping under his chin,

against his ass or his own—

“That must be some fantasy you’re having.”

Josh struggled to raise his eyelids. They’d become really heavy and didn’t want to

follow his brain’s directive. When he managed to pry them open enough to see, he was

confronted with Annabelle’s amused and worried visage. It made him snicker since he was

feeling pretty damn good, and the ache in his groin was the kind a man enjoyed, as long as

he got off. Josh stopped snickering and looked at his hands as his pulse hit warp speed.

Ohthankgod! His mind stumbled then he remembered—it was his ankle he’d broken. He

could still jerk off. That sent him into a fit of giggles he couldn’t seem to stop.

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“It’s a good thing Dr Meyers finished with him,” Justin remarked. Josh snorted, which

when combined with the giggling, made his nose burn and his eyes water.

“What the hell did they give him?”

This, from Evan, didn’t help Josh gain any control at all. He gripped his side where,

despite the feel-good drugs, a sharp cramp stabbed between his ribs.

“Probably a mild pain killer,” Justin said. “You know he’s really sensitive to

medication.”

“Well, at least he’s happy,” Annabelle pointed out. “That beats being in pain any day.

Come on, Joshie, we’re taking you home.”

Josh sobered up enough to not endanger himself or them as they helped him move

from the bed to the wheelchair. Misty came in waving papers and talking about aftercare

treatment and physical therapy. Josh thought there might be a fight when the bubbly nurse

stopped bubbling and gave Justin a hard look. Even stoned, Josh could see Annabelle

bristling. Not good. And hadn’t he already decreed to the universe that he’d had enough of

people being angry and violent and stupid tonight?

Misty flicked Annabelle a look and hesitated before getting this stubborn gleam in her

eye. “I’m not sure it’s in Josh’s best interest to go stay with his brother.”

Annabelle growled—Josh hadn’t really thought a woman could make that kind of

sound, but she did and it sucked the high right out of him. Misty flinched but barrelled

ahead, unaware of just how big of a bull she was waving a red flag in front of.

“Josh has obviously been hurt and his brother obviously has violent tendencies—”

“I’ll show you violent tendencies,” Annabelle snarled, taking a quick step forward.

Justin and Evan each lunged at Annabelle and caught one of her arms just as Misty stumbled

backwards, her heel colliding with Josh’s injured ankle. Josh howled in agony as pain burned

bright and hot from his ankle to his knee. Holy shit, would this night never end? Annabelle

cursed and tried to jerk her arms free as Justin and Evan struggled to hold her back. Misty

flailed and hopped, her eyes wide as gravity won the battle and she hit the floor with an

umph almost as loud as the sound of her butt impacting the ugly pea green tile.

Josh’s ankle was back to throbbing and he had electric blue dots dancing in his vision,

but he could still see Annabelle’s cunning expression and he was not having it. Pointing at

her—she’d taught him that imperial finger thing, the one that made the person on the

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receiving end feel like they were about two inches tall—he pressed his other hand to Misty’s

shoulder, exerting enough pressure to keep her down, he hoped.

“Would you all just grow up!” Josh snapped, except he’d forgotten about his tongue

and the local anesthesia used for the stitches and what came out sounded less like words and

more like a monkey shrieking.

But it worked.

“Oh damn,” Annabelle huffed, the fight going out of her so quickly both her lovers

stumbled. Or maybe that was due to the unintelligible gibberish Josh had spewed, but he

didn’t care why the bullshit stopped, only that it did. Justin nodded—Josh wasn’t sure

why—then turned to Misty and offered her a hand up. Misty barely hesitated before putting

her hand in his and allowing him to help.

“Thank you,” Misty muttered with more graciousness than Josh had hoped for. She

didn’t apologise, but she did pick up the discharge and aftercare papers and give them to

Justin before patting Josh’s hand and leaving the room.

Annabelle came over and looped her arms around his neck, nuzzling against his

cheek. “Joshie, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have acted like that. I just lost it when I thought she

wasn’t going to let us take you home, and then again when I realised what she was implying

about Justin, but that doesn’t make it right.”

“I’m sorry too, baby bro—Josh,” Justin corrected when Josh glared at him. Josh tipped

his chin up. He wasn’t the one who’d acted like an immature asswipe tonight. “I’m not going

to make any excuses, but I promise I won’t put my pride in front of you or let my temper put

you at risk ever again.”

Josh grunted and averted his eyes. He should have felt all warm and fuzzy, or at least

a little goofy from the pain meds, but all he felt was a knot of panic low in his belly. Everyone

was all concern and repentance now, and they loved him, but what would happen when

they found out he’d been keeping his knowledge about who Nick was from them?

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Chapter Seven

Nick watched his sister and her lovers leave from the corner of his eye. His mind had

kind of flat-lined as soon as she’d spoken, he’d been so stunned to see her standing there.

Then she’d turned those venom-filled eyes on him and whatever hope he’d harboured of

having a relationship with her and Rory had died a quick death. Her words had only

compounded the loss. Nick wasn’t really concerned about the threat. The tone, the look she’d

levelled at him had hurt him more than he’d expected, considering he hadn’t ever known his

half siblings. But he’d known about them, and well over half his life had been spent

constructing fantasies of what it might be like to be a part of their family, the old man be

damned. That would never happen now, thanks to his behaviour tonight. Assaulting one of

Annabelle’s lovers had put the final nail in the coffin of his idealistic dreams.

Flopping back on to the narrow hard mattress, Nick pressed his forearm over his eyes.

If he was truthful, he’d blown his chances with Rory and Annabelle before then, when he’d

tried to use Josh. But he hadn’t known how close the two were. That they were friends, yes,

that had been obvious, but the level of devotion between the two was what he’d seriously

underestimated. As Annabelle had made very clear. Josh had obviously told her at least a

little about Nick, and she’d already been loaded for bear when she finally met him and

issued her threat.

Nick tinkered with the idea of approaching Rory, but after Annabelle’s display of

fierce loyalty, he had to believe Rory would be the same way. Someone like Annabelle who

gave every bit of herself to those she loved would receive the same from them, or else she

wouldn’t be bothered with them. Nick wondered what it would be like to be worthy of such

devotion, but when he tried to picture such a strong bond between himself and Annabelle or

Rory, his mind cut to thoughts of Josh instead. Would Josh ever have looked at him the way

Annabelle had looked at her men if Nick hadn’t screwed everything up so badly? Would

Nick want him to?

The click of a metal on metal followed by the sound of the cell door being opened had

Nick shoving his arm up over his head. He opened his eyes and saw Officer Stanton standing

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in the open doorway with a stern expression on his face. His cold grey eyes were narrowed

as he looked at Nick.

“I’m releasing you. I’ll take you to get your truck and follow you back to the hotel

you’re staying at, then I will wait while you pack and check out.” Stanton’s face seemed to

harden as he crossed his thickly muscled arms over his chest. “After that, I’ll follow you until

you’re out of the county, and you best keep heading north. If I find out you’re back in town

and pulling this stalking shit again, I’ll toss your ass in jail whether Josh presses charges or

not. This is a small town,” Stanton said, his chest expanding as if to emphasise the strength of

the man and the threat. “You don’t want to fuck with me.”

I’m being run out of town. It seemed surreal for a man who’d never had more than the

one speeding ticket he’d got when he was eighteen. Almost twenty years without even a hint

of trouble, and now he was being treated like some…some criminal!

Nick sat up and swung his legs off the bed, keeping a careful eye on Stanton. Visions

of police beatings and small town vigilantism were flitting through his head. He

concentrated on those rather than the empty, achy feeling rapidly expanding in his chest. It

hit his belly hard enough to make him cramp, and Nick couldn’t quite stifle a gasp.

Everything he might have had was as broken as he felt, like someone had taken a

sledgehammer to his hopes—even ones involving a certain young man that Nick wasn’t sure

he wanted to acknowledge—and beaten them down until they were nothing but slivers of

pain floating through him, slicing into him.

“Get up,” Stanton ordered, “I want you out of my county in the next hour.”

Nick was strangely reluctant to go, but he shoved to his feet as he cut the cop a hard

look of his own. “What? No bail?”

Stanton took a half step forward, his big hands fisting when he dropped his arms to

his sides. “There wasn’t any bail for Justin, either. Neither of you were pressing charges, and

no one filed a complaint, and”—Stanton took another step closer as the muscles from his

forearms to his shoulders rippled—“Josh has been insistent about his injuries being the result

of his own clumsiness. As long as that’s the case…” Stanton didn’t quite shrug, his body too

tensed for such a casual move. “There’s not a lot I can do. Legally.”

Nick turned to study the cop. Stanton was huge, taller than Nick’s six-three and

broader through the chest and shoulders. Nick wondered if the police department checked

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their officers for steroid use, because surely this guy was too muscular for it to be natural.

Maybe ‘roid rage would explain the hostility that seemed to be emanating from the man.

And, maybe, Nick should have been afraid, or at least intimidated, but neither of those

things were what was causing a trembling in Nick’s arms and legs. That came from clenching

his muscles tight to keep from decking the cop, just slamming his bruised fist into the hard

line of his square jaw and seeing if it shattered like glass.

“Try it,” Stanton said softly, a slight smile curling one side of his mouth.

Nick wanted to, God did he want to, but he wasn’t as dumb as the cop, and fighting

hadn’t done anything for him tonight except slap down his hopes. He needed to use his head

for something other than a punching bag. He took several deep breaths, his gaze never

leaving Stanton’s. Once Nick felt the edges of his anger blur, he gave Stanton a half-smile of

his own. He knew what he wanted, and getting it suddenly didn’t seem so impossible, not

when he wanted it so bad. “I haven’t broken any laws.”

Stanton blinked once before answering. “You were fighting with Justin—”

Nick took his own step forward. “Who started it. I was defending myself, and I bet

Josh would tell you the same, although asking him to testify against his brother would be a

shitty thing to do, and you couldn’t very well arrest me without arresting Justin as well.

Legally.”

Officer Stanton pressed his lips tightly together until only a thin seam showed. Nick

nodded and took another step forward, placing himself within swinging distance of the man.

“And you can’t make me leave town. Legally. Or follow me if I stay here. Legally. Because I

could—and would—have my very competent attorney file police misconduct charges and a

police harassment suit. All very legally.” Nick took a final step closer, wishing he were a few

inches taller as he glared into Stanton’s frigid eyes. “So why don’t you try it, officer?”

They stood like that, neither of them relenting. Nick had a bizarre flashback to The

Zax, a Dr. Seuss story his mother had read to him when he’d been four or five years old. He’d

never understood why the northbound Zax and the southbound Zax had been so stubborn,

neither budging as the world went on around them, but as a man, Nick fully understood

now the need to stand one’s ground, at least when it was something important. And staying

here suddenly seemed the most important thing in the world, or at least, in his world.

Hopefully it wasn’t just his stupid pride that was telling him so.

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Officer Stanton finally nodding, grinding his jaw so loud Nick could hear it. The

bigger man turned sharply and strode from the cell. Nick didn’t waste any time in following,

his own footsteps echoing immediately after the police officer’s.

Stanton grabbed a clear bag off his desk and handed it to Nick. “Your shit,” he said

with ill-concealed anger. Nick took the bag and pulled out his wallet, cell phone, watch and

keys. The plastic bag he handed back to Stanton, who took it reflexively then muttered as he

tossed the bag in the trash.

“See ya,” Nick told the glaring man, shooting him a grin when Stanton’s expression

darkened with anger. “Although, not too much, I’d think.” He turned and walked out of the

police station, Stanton’s curses making him laugh and feel lighter than he had in weeks. Even

the prospect of the long walk back to the hospital to pick up his truck didn’t seem so bad,

and Nick wondered, even as the thought amused him, if he hadn’t lost his marbles.

* * * *

Morning was not his friend, at least, not this morning. Josh’s head pounded, and his

ankle seemed determined to match the pain beat for beat. He groaned then gagged at the

unfamiliar sensation of stitches on his tongue. It was like having a spider perched in his

mouth, and that was a comparison he could have done without.

“Hey.”

Josh forced his eyes open. Justin sat on the coffee table beside the couch where Josh

had crashed. Dark bruises ringed Justin’s eyes, his bottom lip was split, and he had a knot on

his jaw. All in all, the guy had to look worse than Josh, but he was smiling almost shyly. It

was so unlike Justin that Josh closed his eyes and gave them a good rub. When he opened

them again, Justin was frowning at him. There was the brother Josh knew so well.

“How are you feeling?” Justin asked, bending over to peer at him. Josh huffed an

annoyed breath before he could think better of it and Justin sat back abruptly, fanning his

face. “Still pissed, then.” He sighed and tipped his head from side to side, cracking his neck.

Josh shivered; he hated it when Justin did that.

“Oh good, you’re up. I brought you some yogurt and juice for you to eat before you

take your antibiotics and pain pills.” Evan stood in the doorway holding a tray, a bright

smile on his face. Josh didn’t bother smiling back, his normally sunny disposition having

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decided to abandon him. He spotted the orange juice and rolled his eyes. He really needed

something acidic when he had stitches in his tongue.

Evan’s brows drew together as he looked down at the tray he held. “What? I didn’t—

oh.” He came into the room and handed the tray to Justin. Josh watched the exchange and

saw the ease between the two men. Apparently they had kissed and made up. Good for

them. Then he saw his brother’s raw knuckles and Josh’s stomach clenched. How bad had

Justin hurt Nick? Josh sat up, eyes glued to those knuckles as Evan hurried from the room

with promises to return with a bottle of water.

Justin cleared his throat and folded his hands in his lap. Josh glared up at his brother

and rolled his tongue cautiously around his mouth. The muscle felt thick and hurt like a

bitch, but Josh thought he could talk. He only needed to say one word, anyway. “Nick?” It

came out kind of slurred, but Justin didn’t laugh, which disappointed Josh in a way. He’d

planned to douse his brother in orange juice if given the slightest cause.

Justin looked at him and that shy smile settled on his lips again. “You don’t have to

worry about him. Officer Stanton told us before we left the police station that he was going to

make sure that asshole left town for good.”

“Dick!” Josh snapped as he struggled to reach the glass. He’d have preferred

something with more weight, but it’d do for a start.

“Yeah, he was,” Justin held the tray up just out of Josh’s reach. “I know you’re thirsty,

but Evan’s bringing you some water.”

Josh considered kicking the tray with his good foot. He hadn’t been so angry or…or

hurt in a long time! All Nick had wanted—Josh thought—was an opportunity to meet his

siblings, and Justin, and Officer Asshole, had made sure that wouldn’t happen. That was

why Josh was so upset and acting like a three year old in the midst of a tantrum, he told

himself. It had nothing to do with him or the way he couldn’t forget how Nick’s lips felt

pressed against his, the sounds the older man made, soft grunts and growls as he grabbed

Josh’s ass and pulled him close. Maybe if I hadn’t been such a coward and had told Annabelle—

“Here you go,” Evan said, pressing a bottle of cold water into Josh’s hand. Evan

unscrewed the cap and sat beside Justin on the coffee table.

Josh glared at his brother, ignoring the other man. Slowly, he leant forward and raised

his arm. Justin looked confused for all of a minute, then his eyes widened as he tried to scoot

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away. Josh snapped his wrist and doused his brother with the cold liquid as Justin and Evan

both let out startled yelps.

“What the fuck?” Justin snapped, dropping the tray as he jumped to his feet.

Evan stood and patted absently at him while frowning down at Josh. “Maybe it’s

whatever the doctor gave him. As sensitive is as Josh is to medicines, it could…I don’t know,

give him multiple personality disorder or something.”

“More like ungrateful little shit disorder,” Justin growled as he pointed at Josh. “I

know you’re pissed about me leaving you there while I went at it with Nick,” and that fast,

Justin’s anger seemed to vanish, leaving him looking tired, defeated, and as if he felt as

battered inside as he looked on the outside. “You know, I had that coming. I wouldn’t say

we’re even, but that’s the only freebie you’re getting.”

Josh nodded sharply as he set the bottle on the floor. Justin could be mad or not, Josh

didn’t have time to deal with it. He had to figure out a way to tell Annabelle who Nick really

was, which was hard enough, but explaining to her why he’d kept quiet about it was going

to be impossible when he wasn’t sure of the answer himself.

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Chapter Eight

Two days at his brother’s place was two days too many. There was a reason Josh had

moved out as soon as possible after graduating from high school. That had been over five

years ago, and even though he’d taken care of himself, Justin still couldn’t seem to see that

Josh was a mature, responsible adult.

Of course, dumping water on the man probably didn’t help Justin think of him as an

adult. And as for taking care of himself… Yeah, Josh could see where maybe he didn’t look

competent in that area, but really, he was.

Regardless, it’d taken some serious arguing with Justin to get the guy to back down.

Even Annabelle had tried to get Josh to stay. Probably, if Evan hadn’t stepped in, Josh would

still be trying to make them understand that he needed his own space. He didn’t want to

have to worry about walking in a room and finding bodies entwined. He wanted to be able

to run around butt naked, to scratch and itch and do all the gross stuff guys liked to do. And

granted, the three lovers were there in the evening, but it wasn’t like he wasn’t alone a lot of

the day at his brother’s house anyway; Justin and Evan had the ranch to run, and Annabelle

was still working at Chance and Rory’s. What difference would it make if he went back

home?

Okay, and as happy as he was for the threesome, if he had to see one more sappy

smile, one more meaningful look, lingering touch… He might just die of envy. And maybe

he’d spent a lot of his time peeking out the living room window, just checking the road. Any

time a dark vehicle came by, Josh’s pulse would race and his breathing would too and he’d

end up panting and a little dizzy and a lot disappointed when that vehicle turned out not to

be Nick’s. Every. Damned. Time. Josh closed his eyes and rubbed at his chest, which had

suddenly started to burn. Maybe the man really was gone. Josh wouldn’t have thought Nick

would give up on…

“On what?” Josh muttered, watching through the window as Evan tossed Josh’s bag

in the truckbed. Nick had only ever had one goal down here and Josh had been nothing more

than a means to an end. The sooner Josh got that through his head, the better. Except he did

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know that, it was just his dick that wasn’t getting the message, ‘cause just thinking about

Nick could make Josh’s shaft so hard, make his hole flutter with needy little pulses.

Josh tracked Evan’s path until the man flung open the front door.

“Hey Josh, just let me go take a leak then we will go.”

Josh nodded absently, catching Evan’s eyes in the reflection of the sparkling glass.

Something in the look Evan gave him made Josh’s own eyes sting and he averted his gaze,

trying to find a cloud in the bright blue Texas sky.

There was a rustling sound, shuffling of feet, then a muted click of a closing door. Josh

pressed his forehead against the warm glass and closed his eyes. He was so tired.

A hand on his shoulder startled him, making him rap his forehead lightly on the

window. Josh opened his eyes as he turned, looking at Evan.

Evan sighed and reached as if to touch him again before dropping his hand back to his

side. He pursed his lips for a moment then smiled slightly before taking his cell phone from

his pocket and handing it to Josh. Josh took it and cocked a brow at his brother-in-law.

“Justin looked all over the parking lot and in your car for your cell,” Evan said,

nudging Josh’s hand. “It wasn’t in your apartment, either, or at the hospital. Maybe you

should text it, or…” Evan glanced around nervously, as if the walls were listening, waiting to

narc. “Maybe you should call this Nick guy, see if it’s in his truck.” Evan shrugged, his

cheeks tinting even as he grinned. “Justin had a call from Officer Stanton last night. It seems

your Nick wasn’t willing to be run out of town. Stanton and Justin were both in a tizzy. It

was kind of funny, but I think I’d have liked to see that. I don’t think many people say no to

Stanton. Bet he was a…a-pop—what’s the word I’m looking for?”

“Apoplectic,” Josh murmured absently even as he pictured the big cop on the verge of

a stroke. Why hadn’t Nick left?

Because he has family he wants to get to know, idiot. Still, Josh found himself smiling, his

first real, full smile for days. Nick hadn’t left, maybe. Then he frowned and looked up at

Evan. He couldn’t keep the suspicious note out of his voice. “Why are you telling me this?”

Evan scrubbed at his cheek then shoved his fingers through his hair, sending it into

disarray. Still looked good on the man, though. “Because I…” he tugged at his hair once then

smoothed it back down. “I don’t know what’s going on between the two of you, but you’ve

been miserable the past two days, and it isn’t from the pain. I’ve seen you hurting before,

physically and emotionally.” Evan and Josh both looked away; this was too embarrassing, at

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least for Josh it was. He could only guess Evan felt the same. “Anyway,” Evan continued,

staring off towards the front door, “I just don’t think it was right for Stanton to try to run

Nick off—” he turned back to Josh, frowning slightly. “Unless you wanted him to?”

Josh shook his head, not even having to give the question a thought. “No. No, I…I

don’t think he’s gay, even, but there’s…something.” Something that has nothing to do with me,

really. Josh shifted, carefully keeping from putting all his weight on his injured ankle. “I

would at least like to say goodbye if he’s leaving.”

Evan nodded and tapped the phone in Josh’s hand. “Then try your phone, or his if

you know the number. If…” Evan hesitated and bit his bottom lip hard enough that Josh

winced. That had to have hurt. The teeth marks pressed deep into the plump flesh along with

the thin scarlet beads popping up on the pink skin confirmed it, at least to Josh. Evan licked

at his lip and didn’t even seem to notice as his gaze darted from Josh’s face to some point

behind him. “I’d like to meet him if I could if that’s okay,” Evan rushed out, not even

pausing for a breath as he went on, “I promise not to be an overprotective snarling asshole.”

“Even though he beat the crap out of Justin?” Josh asked, his fingers already twitching

with the need to press Nick’s number into the phone.

Evan shook his head rapidly. “No, no, I know Justin started it, dove in fists-first and

didn’t think. Even if he thought you were being hurt, once you tried to get him to stop, he

didn’t. I just, I think this guy’s important to you, which means someone from your family has

to be reasonable—”

Josh’s heart did a somersault and a couple of back handsprings. He gave Evan what

he hoped was a hard look as he fought to keep his breathing steady. “He’s not important to

me, I just want him to fuck me.”

Instead of shocking Evan like Josh had hoped—the man was too perceptive, seeing

things even Josh didn’t want to in himself—the words only made him roll his eyes. “Sure,

that’s all you want. Right. Go ahead and make your call or text, whatever. I’m gonna check to

make sure I got everything and grab us a couple bottles of water for the drive. As hot as it is,

we’ll be dehydrated before we even make it to the truck.”

Josh debated for several seconds as he looked at the phone, then finally decided on

texting. If he didn’t hear back from Nick by the time he got home, well, he’d deal with it.

Decision made, Josh opened the texting and typed in a short message, sending it to Nick’s

number. Surely the guy had texting. Josh grinned, a warm happy feeling spreading through

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him and making him feel as if he could float away when Evan’s phone buzzed in his hand

almost immediately.

If its a hot pink one with penguin stickers on it then yes.

Josh’s cheeks ached, he was smiling so wide. He tapped back in his reply—

That would be the one. U know u like it. FYI its the same colour as my dildo.

TMI, he was sure, but he couldn’t make himself delete the last sentence. If it offended

the older man, then maybe Nick would leave him alone and Josh could move on. If it didn’t

offend Nick, well then.

Josh tapped send just as Evan came back holding two bottles of water. He took one

look at Josh and shook his head. “You’ve got that look, the one that says you’re being

naughty. I hope you delete those messages, I don’t want to know what you two are saying to

each other.”

Josh snickered even as he worried he’d pushed Nick too far. “I might have scared him

off. Told you he isn’t gay—” The phone buzzed again and Josh was almost afraid to look.

Evan must have seen the trepidation in his expression because he moved quickly to Josh’s

side and pressed their shoulders together.

“You want me to read it for you?” Evan sounded curious and reluctant at the same

time. Josh grunted out a ‘no’ and tipped the phone to an angle he hoped made peeking at the

message impossible for Evan. “Okay, okay, I won’t look. Let’s get out to the truck though

before Justin comes barrelling in here and we get busted. I’ve had enough of people being

pissed off to last me a lifetime, haven’t you?”

“Pretty much,” Josh agreed as he hobbled after Evan. He kept glancing at the phone,

wondering how one little envelope icon could cause such a range of emotions in him. From

terror to excitement, dread to hope, Josh was covering the broad spectrum. He should have

just read the damn message. Once he was seated and buckled in, Josh took a deep breath and

opened the message. He wasn’t quite sure whether it was good or bad.

What are you trying to do to me? When are you coming home? Im tired of camping out in

your parking lot.

“Does this make him, like, Switzerland or whatever?” Josh asked, thrusting the phone

in front of Evan. Evan hadn’t yet put the truck in drive so he took the phone, tugging on it

until Josh let go.

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“It depends on what you sent him first—oh,” Evan grunted, turning that ruddy colour

again. His lips twitched and he snickered before flicking a glance at Josh. “Hot pink? Really?

Oh God, please tell me there aren’t penguins on it—”

Josh swallowed the strangled sound that threatened to slip from his throat and

opened his mouth to deny the penguins—he loved the cute little things, but that was just…

gross—when the phone buzzed again. Evan jerked the phone out of his reach and read the

message, his eyes rounding and his shoulders shaking as he laughed quietly.

“Oh Josh, I think he’s definitely not Switzerland,” Evan said between breathy huffs.

“There’s nothing neutral about this message.” He leered at Josh and handed him the phone.

Josh thought he’d melt into his seat when he read Nick’s third message.

You cant send me something like that then stop texting!! You make me feel things I don’t

understand but Im so fucking hard right now I cant hardly breathe. Get. Home.

“Oh,” Josh mumbled, his mind blanking as white hot bolts of electricity zinged to his

balls and cock. His ass clenched, that needy part of him already craving the other man.

“‘Oh’ is right,” Evan chuckled, “better tell him I’m bringing you and would like to

meet him before he drags you upstairs to your place.”

Nodding, his mouth dry and his throat tight with the force of his need, Josh texted

Nick back with fingers so unsteady he almost asked Evan to type in the reply for him. He

managed to get somewhat coherent words spelled, a couple of sentences that he hoped made

sense, then he sent the message and waited as Evan pulled the truck around and drove them

away from the ranch.

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Chapter Nine

“Penguins.” Nick snorted as he rolled the pink phone in his hand. The back of the

phone was covered in overlapping stickers of penguins in various silly poses. “Only you,

Josh. God!” The bits of pink he could make out served to make his dick impossibly harder.

He couldn’t look at it without thinking about Josh’s text. Did he really have a pink dildo? Did

Josh use it, shove it between those rounded cheeks and—Nick’s ass clenched in fear…or

something. He told himself it was fear, anyway. The idea of having something stuck up his

butt was kind of repulsive, but it also set a low boil in his belly, the heat from which spread

out to his chest and down to his balls…and further back.

“Shit!” Nick swiped at his brow when he felt sweat bead on his skin. His heart was

racing and his dick was so hard he fucking hurt with it. Pressing the heel of his other hand

against his shaft, Nick moaned and closed his eyes. What would Josh look like, naked and on

his hands and knees, his pert ass tipped up as Nick slid the dildo into his eager hole? Nick

whimpered as his mind stuttered its attempt to come up with that image. He didn’t know

what a man looked like naked and begging to be fucked, couldn’t imagine touching the firm

globes of a man’s ass, spreading the taut cheeks and seeing that…that place!

But, God, he wanted to!

Nick gave his dick another hard press, electric spears zipping throughout his body.

He’d told himself over and over that he wasn’t gay; hell, he wasn’t hardly even sexual! The

women he’d been with had been few and far between, and when he’d had sex with them, it’d

only been a desperate need for a break from his own hand that drove him to do so. Nick

pushed at his dick again, his hips jerking up with the rough touch. Okay, so he was sexual or

else he wouldn’t jerk off as often as he did, but he usually preferred that to fucking a woman.

It wasn’t that he didn’t like women, it was just that the sex wasn’t worth all the shit that came

after, or before, for that matter. Nick wasn’t one to toss out pretty words and false flattery,

not for sex that, invariably, turned out to be about as satisfying as jacking. Better to take care

of it himself and not have to deal with the complexities of getting laid. But he’d never wanted

someone like he wanted Josh.

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And what did that tell him? Nick shuddered as he tried to shut off the train of

thought. He couldn’t be gay! He wasn’t even attracted to any other men besides Josh, so he

wasn’t, right? This was some freak-attraction caused by the part he’d been playing before,

the temptation to explore the forbidden. That’s what it was, because he wasn’t gay. If he was,

which he wasn’t, it’d kill his mother, and then there were the stipulations of Ian Calhoun’s

will—

Nick’s eyes shot open on a chuckle. Wouldn’t that be the ultimate fuck you to the old

bastard? Rory couldn’t have the ranch because he was gay, Annabelle was disinherited for

standing beside her brother. Ian Calhoun’s only other kid was Nick, a bastard himself

although surely of a different nature.

Right?

He wasn’t like his manipulative, bigoted old man, refused to be. If he had been like

Ian, Nick never would have been in Texas trying to figure out if he should introduce himself

to his half siblings. Surely they knew about him by now. Nick had told his foreman to call

Rory and pass on the information of Ian’s death and Nick’s existence, but not to say anything

more. They had to know he existed. Why Josh hadn’t told them… Or maybe he had, and Rory

and Annabelle hated his guts for inheriting the ranch. Annabelle had certainly wanted to

stomp him until he was nothing but a greasy spot on the cell floor. Was that because of Josh

and Justin, or was there something more to her intense anger?

The idea that his only siblings, be they half or not, might already know he was here,

might want nothing to do with him, hurt more than it should have. It also softened his dick

and brought a chill to his bones. Nick wasn’t normally such a melodramatic wuss, but he was

so goddamned confused about everything, and he hadn’t slept much since he’d left the

police station. He’d sat in this parking lot more often than not, drinking pots of coffee as he

tried to stay awake, afraid he’d miss Josh if he slept.

So yeah, he realised he wasn’t exactly in the most stable frames of mind—which might

have been why he’d had the balls to send that text back to Josh. On Evan’s phone. Shit, he

hoped Josh deleted the messages…

A buzzing sound had him prying his eyes open. He reached for his cell, snatching it

off the dash and blinking against his blurry vision. Christ, he was tired. Holding the phone

close to his face—because he was tired, not because he was nearing forty and might possibly

need some reading glasses—Nick opened the text message.

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Almost there. White ford dually.

Nick’s heart gave a hard lurch as heat zipped throughout him, making his toes and

fingers tingle. His dick gave an answering lurch, thickening and pressing uncomfortably

against its confines. He clutched the pink phone tightly in one hand while opening the truck

door with the other, scanning the parking lot. A white Ford dually turned the corner and

slowed as it neared the parking lot. Nick huffed as his heart did something that he could only

imagine should have killed him. It had to be skipping rope in there, using his arteries to

double Dutch. He wasn’t altogether steady when he slid out of the truck, and he held tightly

to the handle as he waited for his knees to morph back from the gelatinous goo they’d

apparently turned into.

The driver of the white truck was the same man he’d seen with Annabelle, the same

man he’d seen rushing from Josh’s apartment the other night. Evan. Hopefully he wasn’t as

hotheaded as Josh’s brother.

Evan parked one row over. Nick tucked Josh’s phone in his back pocket then scooted

out from behind the door and carefully closed it. He couldn’t take his eyes off Josh, his dark

hair tousled, those pink lips curving up on a smile Nick wanted to taste. The desire to do so

was so strong, Nick found himself walking towards the white truck, wobbly legs be damned.

He had to see Josh, trace the outline of his pink lips with his fingers, his tongue—

And he had a raging boner that couldn’t be hidden. Nick stopped in his tracks and

started to try to cover himself. Surely that would draw more attention to his aroused state,

though. He hesitated for several seconds, wondering if he’d rather risk being humiliated or

see Josh, maybe even touch him—“Fuck it.” Evan could deal with it. Josh would appreciate

knowing he’d made Nick so hard he could hardly breathe. That was really all that mattered.

As Nick got closer to the truck, he could make out the dark bags under Josh’s jewel

green eyes. Was he hurting? Not sleeping? Nick frowned as he walked faster. Weren’t Justin,

Annabelle and Evan supposed to be taking care of Josh? It looked to him like they’d done a

shit job. By the time He made it to the now open passenger door, he was scowling. He

ignored Evan as he studied Josh. The ankle brace was better than a cast, but the pinched look

around those beautiful eyes, the fine lines around the outer edges, and the white knuckled

hold the smaller man had on the dash sent ever-protective instinct Nick had into high gear—

and he had a hell of a lot more of them than he’d ever realised.

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“Josh,” Nick ground out, his throat tight with emotions he didn’t dare analyse. Josh

opened his mouth to reply but ended exhaling noisily, breathlessly, when Nick flicked a

glance at him then leant in the truck to unbuckle him. His hand brushed another and Nick

snarled before he knew what he was doing. He shoved at the other hand, large, dark hair on

the knuckles. Not as large as his hand, though. Josh hissed and his thighs under Nick’s

outstretched arm stiffened. Nick looked at him, saw the disapproving expression, the white

lines framing that sexy mouth, and was immediately contrite. Josh had probably had enough

alpha male idiocy over the past few days to last him a lifetime.

“Sorry,” Nick murmured, his hand hovering over the seatbelt buckle. “I’m an idiot.”

Josh narrowed his eyes and frowned deeper. Nick tried again, needing to see that smile he

craved. “A chest-thumper? Maybe a throwback, evolution is all a lie, there’s plenty of us

cavemen still around. Something further back than the Neanderthal, don’t think I’m that

advanced—” Josh’s lips trembled then a giggle slipped out. The sound slithered over Nick’s

skin, lighting him up so that he thought his dick was going to burst through his boxers and

jeans. He knew he must be staring like an idiot, but shit! How could a giggle have such an

effect on him? It irritated the crap out of him when women did it, but Josh… Nick had no

idea men ever giggled, but he could definitely get addicted to that sound.

Josh’s cheeks darkened beautifully as he slapped his hand over his mouth. Nick forgot

about everything, the seatbelt, Evan, even his own arousal as he reached up and tugged at

Josh’s hand, his eyes locked with Josh’s. The feel of Josh’s skin set Nick’s heart to doing that

funky jumpy thing again and he bit his bottom lip to keep back a sound he was pretty sure

would have embarrassed him.

“Don’t,” he said as he slipped his hand around Josh’s. Nick slid his fingers down

between Josh’s palm and his jaw then slowly peeled Josh’s hand back. The back of his

knuckles brushed over Josh’s lips and lust slammed into him hard enough to knock a grunt

from him. Josh made a similar sound as his eyes widened and his pupils dilated, leaving only

a thin ring of green around his expanded pupils.

“Uh, guys.”

Nick didn’t even hear it, not when his blood was pounding in his ears.

“Guys… Josh. Josh! Hey! JOSH!”

Nick barely kept from snarling as Josh jerked his head back then turned to look at

Evan. There was nothing for it, Nick had to look at the guy, too. Evan was grinning at Josh.

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“I was afraid y’all were gonna jump each other right here for a minute,” Evan

snickered. “Especially after those texts.”

Josh sputtered and Nick flushed from the top of his head to his heels—he could feel

the warmth of it all over. Josh had shown Evan their texts? Or…or maybe he’d given the

phone back to Evan before—

“Now I’m sorry,” Evan said, drawing Nick’s attention. “I shouldn’t have said that. I

happened to be holding the phone when you, ah, sent that very hot demand to Josh.” Evan

grinned and winked. “Poor kid’s been squirming the whole drive in.”

Nick leant in further, reaching for the seatbelt once again although he kept his vision

locked on Evan. “He’s not a kid.” Whether it was an affectionate term, or the people around

Josh kept forgetting he was actually an adult, Nick didn’t know, but he got the feeling none

of the people who supposedly loved Josh treated him like an adult. Maybe Annabelle, but he

didn’t know, and the kid thing really also just kind of made Nick cringe. He was quite a bit

older than Josh.

He pressed the button, unbuckling the seatbelt as Evan glanced from him to Josh

before nodding. “You’re right, it’s a habit we all probably need to break,” Evan admitted.

Nick didn’t think there was a ‘probably’ to it, but now was the time, not when he could

finally slip his hands around Josh’s waist.

So warm. Josh was like a furnace, his body heat seeping through his clothes. Nick

traced the edge of Josh’s shirt with his fingers, watching Josh’s bright eyes, his mouth, the tip

of a dark pink tongue licking over slightly chapped lips. Nick slipped his fingers under the

shirt, his hands trembling at the first brush of that soft skin under his rough, callused hands.

Josh twisted around and placed his hands on Nick’s forearms. “Help me down?”

Nick smiled, anticipation surging through his veins. “Oh yeah.”

* * * *

Since all the blood had rushed to his cock, Josh’s ankle didn’t hurt, or at least he didn’t

notice if it did. How could he when Nick was being…unlike Nick. Or maybe this was the real

Nick, not the man who’d tried to use him, played him—Josh grunted as he shoved that

thought aside. Nick’s big, rough hands felt too good on his skin, the hairy, muscular

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forearms too sexy under Josh’s hands, for him to ruin this moment with doubts and fears and

anger. All that mattered was that hot look Nick was giving him and the feel of skin on skin.

Josh felt Nick’s muscles harden and ripple as he was lifted from his seat and pulled

from the truck. Nick brought Josh forward in a controlled move, slowly pressing Josh’s chest

to his. Josh reached up and looped his arms around Nick’s neck, burying his hands in the

thick black hair as he stared into Nick’s dark eyes. Nick slid one arm around him, right under

Josh’s ass. The other he hooked around Josh’s waist. Josh shivered, the sensation of the hair

on Nick’s forearm rubbing against his skin making his swollen dick spurt out pre-cum.

“God, baby,” Nick rasped, his eyes narrowing as he lowered his head, his lips parting

as they neared Josh’s.

Josh fisted his hands in the silky strands, trying to slow the descent of that tempting

mouth. “Evan’s—umph.” Nick obviously didn’t care that Evan was watching, or there, or

alive. Josh’s eyes drifted shut as Nick tightened his arms. A warm, slick tongue ghosted over

Josh’s lips, drawing a groan from deep in his gut. Nick’s responding groan shot through

Josh, drawing his balls tight as Nick licked into his mouth. He shivered again, feeling the

tingling in the base of his spine. Fuck and damn, he was going to come from a kiss! Well, if

that was the case…Josh hitched his legs up, careful not to bump his ankle as he sucked at

Nick’s lower lip. Nick’s hand smoothed up to Josh’s ass, cupping and squeezing in a way

that made Josh grind against the other man. Nick gasped, sucking Josh’s breath right from

his lungs. Josh took advantage, slicking his tongue over Nick’s, swirling it over the roof of his

mouth, his teeth, every bit he could reach.

“Guys, you might want to cool it. Need I remind you, this is south Texas? Rednecks

and shotguns and not a lot of tolerance at times?”

“Ungh,” was the best Josh could manage when Nick slowly ended the kiss, nibbling at

Josh’s lips, nipping his chin, his jaw.

“Come on, baby,” Nick ground out, patting Josh’s ass. “We’re giving your…friend…a

heart attack.”

“Friend?” Josh forced his legs to unwind. The reward was a rough rub of their clothed

dicks as Josh slid down Nick’s taller body. Nick hissed, his hands clenching against Josh’s

back and butt. “Oh.” Josh glanced aside and found Evan staring at them, one brow arched

and a grimace on his handsome face. “Oh. Evan. He’s my brother-in-law, to me, anyway.”

Yours, too.

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“Yeah,” Evan muttered, “And I’ve officially been kind of scarred for life. Now I know

why you cringe when you see any of us kissing.”

“Or groping,” Josh added. “There’s always someone groping, and the walls are really

thin, or y’all are really, really loud.”

Evan blushed furiously, a dark shade Josh hadn’t seen on him before. It was great, he

really wished he had a camera, or his phone—

Nick snorted and traced the skin under Josh’s left eye. “Poor thing. No wonder you

look so tired.”

Evan let loose a strangled sound as Josh cocked a hip and glared up at Nick. “Really. I

look tired. You were, what, tracing a bag under my eye?” Nick’s eyes widened as he seemed

to realise where he’d screwed up. Josh ploughed on, because he hadn’t had any fun

since…well, since Nick. “And you think saying sweet things like that is gonna get your dick

sucked?”

Nick’s entire body jerked, his arms tightening so that Josh was pressed up against him

so tightly Josh could barely breathe. Evan just chortled and walked away.

“I…” Nick swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing rapidly. “You can’t… Fuck, Josh! I

don’t…” More swallowing as a look that was suspiciously close to panic lit Nick’s eyes.

Oh yeah. Not. Gay. Idiot. Fucking Idiot! How could Josh have been so stupid? Nick had

the deer in the headlights look, but Josh had been so caught up in the look before that, the

one that practically shouted ‘I want you more than air, more than the next beat of my heart’.

At least, that’s what Josh thought it meant, but he was obviously wrong, big erection jabbing

him in the belly or not.

“Sorry,” Josh mumbled, trying to back away. Nick’s arms tightened, forcing the air to

gush from Josh’s lungs.

“No,” Nick growled, the look in his dark eyes enough to still Josh’s struggles if the

lung compression wasn’t. “Stop. We’ll talk inside.”

That sounded ominous, and Nick’s gravel rough voice was so sexy Josh thought for

sure his balls were going to crawl up his dick and spew out the end until he was completely

and utterly drained of cum. Unable to do more than gasp, Josh nodded.

“Good, that’s good,” Nick said before brushing his lips over Josh’s. “Now introduce

me or whatever so we can be alone.” He loosened his grip only enough for Josh to draw

easier breaths.

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Josh waved Evan, who was by the tailgate holding Josh’s bag, over to them. “Evan,

Nick, Nick, Evan.”

Nick lifted one hand to shake Evan’s. “Nick…?” Evan asked.

Josh realised he didn’t know. What if it was Calhoun?

“Mendiola,” Nick answered.

“Got it. Nick Mendiola. I’m Evan Caldwell,” Evan offered, “Josh seems to forget about

last names.”

Josh almost blurted out his—Nick didn’t know it, did he? But then Evan would

wonder why Nick didn’t even know Josh’s last name, and that would just be awkward. Best

to avoid the whole mess.

“I can take the bag,” Nick said.

Evan hesitated, looking from Josh to Nick then back again. Josh felt Nick tense against

him.

“I’m not going to hurt him.” Nick held his hand out.

Evan shook his head. “No, I didn’t mean anything like that. I was just trying to figure

out if Josh would need help up the stairs, and if I should carry the bag so you could—”

Josh had no warning. One minute he was flat footed, the next he had a shoulder in his

gut and he was lifted off his feet until he was being held in a fireman’s carry.

“I’ve got it covered,” Nick said, not even slightly out of breath. “It was nice to meet

you.” He twitched the fingers of his outstretched hand. Josh was about to point out he might

very well have a problem with being carried like a damn sack of potatoes, then he realised he

had an excellent view of Nick’s gorgeous ass. Josh’s dick gave a resounding throb of

approval, pulsing against the front of Nick’s shoulder.

“Fuck,” Nick hissed. Josh peered around the man to see him taking Josh’s bag from

Evan.

Evan smirked at him. “That’s a good position for you, Josh.” He laughed and waved

them off. Nick didn’t hesitate, his long legs eating up the distance to the stairs. Josh thought

he probably should have been a little concerned about them tumbling down the stairs, but

Nick had slapped his hand over Josh’s ass, his long fingers digging in deep enough to

bruise—Josh hoped, he loved wearing a lover’s marks. After that, his only fear was shooting

against Nick’s shoulder each time he climbed a step. The friction to his cock was a delicious

taunt, not quite enough pressure, but so very very close.

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“Keys,” Nick said, his voice so low it took Josh a couple of seconds to process what

he’d heard.

“In the bag,” Josh said, his hands itching to coast over the firm swells of Nick’s ass.

Except he was pretty sure that would get him dropped on his head. He absolutely had to

remember Nick wasn’t gay. Obviously, the guy wanted to get off, probably had to see what it

was like to have a man suck him off, and even as it made something cold bounce through

Josh’s insides, he understood. He even accepted it, although he didn’t like it. As long as he

didn’t think he could convert Nick into a gay man, it would be okay. A little fun, let Nick see

what it was like, whether it was a handjob or down and dirty fucking, anything and

everything in between, Josh wanted the man to experience all Nick wanted to. And Josh

would keep his stupid-ass heart out of it. That organ screwed him over every damn time

anyway.

“Gotta put you down.” Nick didn’t sound happy about it, but Josh was relieved. The

temptation to grab Nick’s fine butt was just too great to resist much longer. Josh was lowered

to the ground with a care that surprised him. He didn’t expect anything more from Nick than

lust and hopefully several climaxes. He wouldn’t let himself expect more than that. Nick

unzipped the bag and poked around. Josh was about to tell him exactly where to look when

Nick unzipped a small inside pocket and pulled out the keys. He slid the handle of the bag

over one forearm then pulled Josh to his side with his other arm. A twist of his wrist and

Nick had the door open. Josh started to take a step only to find himself lifted and heaved

onto Nick’s shoulder again. One big hand popped Josh on the ass hard, startling a yelp out of

him.

“What—”

Nick caressed the smacked flesh through Josh’s sweats as he walked through the door

with Josh still settled on his shoulder. “Because I wanted to,” Nick growled, his hand

rubbing a small circle before lifting and slapping Josh’s ass again.

Damn, it was one of Josh’s fantasies, one he’d never been able to figure out how to

bring up to a lover. Asking for someone to whack him on the butt every now and then just

wasn’t something he could do. Nick swatted him again, this time cupping and squeezing the

stinging flesh hard. Heat speared through Josh, driving his balls up to his body as he

moaned.

Nick’s hand stilled. “You really like that?”

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Josh heard a thunk that he guessed was his bag hitting the floor. He nodded, rubbing

his cheek against Nick’s lower back. “Yeah, I…I haven’t ever, but I’m gonna come all over

your shoulder if you keep that up. Not sure you’re ready for that.”

Nick squeezed his cheek again before gently setting him on his feet. He cupped Josh’s

chin, tipping his head back so that he had to meet Nick’s gaze. “I don’t know what I’m ready

for, I don’t know why this is happening—why I’m feeling like I have to have you or die, why

you’re letting me after I… It started out as pretending so I could find out about Annabelle

and Rory, but I swear to you”—Nick slid his fingers up Josh’s jaw, his other hand taking a

similar route on the other side—“this has nothing to do with either of them.”

“I know.” Josh did know. Nick’s cock had been hard the entire time he’d been around

Josh today. That wasn’t a reaction to a sibling, at least not in this state. He’d heard rumours

about some other states, though.

“All right, then,” Nick murmured, then he crushed his mouth to Josh’s, and Josh

couldn’t think about anything other than the way his lips were being mastered, his tongue

flicked and sucked and pushed where Nick wanted it to be. Nick’s hands fisted in Josh’s hair,

the bite of pain making Josh clutch at Nick’s chest as Josh humped against Nick’s thigh.

“Ahh, baby,” Nick whispered, pulling his lips from Josh’s. “I don’t know what to do—

”

Josh was almost frantic to come, but even more, he wanted to watch Nick lose it,

wanted to blow his mind, shake him and bring him so much pleasure he wouldn’t run off

screaming in horror once he realised he’d just had another man make him shoot his wad.

“Just,” Josh glanced at the couch. Probably not the best spot, and the bedroom was too

far. Josh settled for shoving Nick against the wall. Before Nick could so much as draw a

breath, Josh slid to his knees, his hands already unfastening Nick’s belt. “Just let me, just let

me, I need to, fuck, I need to taste you.” Josh scrambled to get Nick’s jeans open, more than a

little scared Nick was going to freak out and shove him away. When Nick’s hands fisted in

his hair, Josh whimpered, sure he was about to be yanked away from his treat when he was

so very close to it finally.

“Josh.”

Josh ignored the rumble of Nick’s deep voice, instead shoving frantically at Nick’s

jeans and boxers. He dipped his hand down into Nick’s underwear and couldn’t stop a long

moan as he felt hot silk encase steel, a dripping wet head, and thick veins.

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“Josh, baby—”

The hands in his hair tightened. Josh jerked against the hold as he pulled Nick’s cock

free. Damn, it was perfect, fat and dark red with blood, and so thick his jaw was going to

ache just trying to fit that broad crown in.

“Josh! Look at me!” The tug on his hair was hard enough that Josh didn’t have a

choice, not if he wanted to keep the vertebrae in his neck where they belonged. He glanced

up under his lashes, hoping the flirty look might come off as feminine if that’s what it took to

keep Nick from taking his big dick away. He fisted both hands around Nick’s length,

determined not to make it easy on Nick. Nick shuddered, his head dropping back to thud

against the wall as he hissed. “Fuck, I can’t—Josh, I,” Nick panted, his chest heaving as if

he’d just run the Boston Marathon in record time. His head flopped forward, his dark eyes

burning into Josh’s. “I can’t do this back, I—”

Oh. That’s all? Josh didn’t need it back. He needed to do it, to taste—actions and words,

Josh thought. Gaze locked with Nick’s, Josh leant forward and licked a string of fluid

dangling from Nick’s slit. Josh caught it on his tongue, following it up until he could lap at

Nick’s glans.

Nick shouted, his legs quivering, and Josh was hooked. Everything about this man

appealed to him, and that didn’t bear thinking about, so he loosened his jaw and went to

work blowing Nick, mind and body.

* * * *

Nick yelled as Josh’s soft, wet tongue slicked over his cockhead. He’d nearly shot all

over Josh’s face when he’d gobbled up the stringy pre-cum dribbling off Nick’s dick. How

the hell was he going to last long enough to really experience this?

Josh flicked that spot under the crown of Nick’s cock that always sent chills over his

skin. Nick couldn’t do anything other than moan and grab Josh’s hair. Then Josh moved his

hands from Nick’s shaft as he sank more of it into his mouth. His hands went to Nick’s jeans

and underwear, which were shoved down roughly, then Nick’s balls were held in a grip so

perfect, firm enough to feel but not hurt. Nick thought his brain was going to melt and run

out of his ears.

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“God, baby…just…” Nick stopped, gasped, swallowed, repeated until he could

continue, “just like that. You’re gonna fucking kill me with that mouth.”

Josh hummed, a long series of vibrations as he swallowed more of Nick’s cock. He

rolled Nick’s balls, tugging and pushing, knuckling between them, scraping a nail over the

seam. Nick couldn’t stop quivering, couldn’t stop gasping, couldn’t do more than cry out

wordlessly when Josh shoved Nick’s cock all the way into Josh’s throat. Nick had never been

deep throated, had never even given it much thought except maybe as something that was

only used in porn, but holy fucking shit, he’d been wrong!

Nick’s shaft was squeezed, the muscles around it contracting and pulsing, and he

nearly lost his mind. “Guuh!” He shouted, his hips bucking as exquisite tendrils of pleasure

shot down his dick, into his balls and ass, then rocketed up his spine, through his stomach

and chest, infusing him with an ecstasy he’d never thought possible. He never wanted it to

end.

Josh sucked hard on the upstroke, his tongue always twirling and flicking, his cheeks

hollowed out, his lips dragging. He teased at the spot on the underside again while fisting

the base of Nick’s cock, then he began to really work the head while he pumped his hand.

Josh couldn’t help it, he couldn’t hold back the scream when Josh worked the tip of his

tongue into Nick’s slit and sucked. Nick’s ass clenched, his hips jerking. Josh pulled off and

Nick started to beg, plead, bargain—whatever, but Josh smiled up at him, his full lips

swollen and now a deep red, his green eyes hazy with lust.

“I want you to fuck my mouth, Nick,” Josh rasped, his words coiling around Nick’s

dick in a stroke as smooth as Josh’s hand. “Do it. I’ll tell you if it’s too much.”

As much as Nick thought he should protest, he didn’t. Hadn’t he been the one telling

everyone Josh was a man? So Nick had to trust that Josh knew his limits, wouldn’t push

them so far he’d let himself get hurt. And he had to trust himself to stop if Josh asked him to.

He would, whatever it took. Hurting Josh wasn’t an option.

“Okay,” Nick said, his voice cracking. Josh’s smile was so fucking gorgeous, Nick

thought it should be the eighth wonder of the world—and he’d staple his lips together before

he ever said something sappy and lame like that out loud. He tried to keep his eyes open and

locked with Josh’s pretty ones as Josh opened wide and sucked Nick down to the root, but he

couldn’t. He had to close his eyes or he was going to come before he could do what Josh had

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asked, and that wouldn’t do. Nick gave a tentative nudge of his hips only to have Josh

growl—growl, with a mouthful of dick!—and pull at his hips.

“Okay, okay, I can…ohhhh God!” Nick shoved deep, his spine arching as pleasure

wrapped each cell in his body, blending with his DNA. Josh moaned and cupped his balls

again, and Nick lost it, trusting Josh to stop him if it was too much. He pulled out completely

and pressed in slowly, just to enjoy the hot mouth and the control. Josh’s whimper was a

bonus that spurred Nick on, forcing him to pick up a faster rhythm than he’d wanted to yet,

but his climax was boiling and bubbling inside, his balls snugging to his body as Josh pushed

at them. Nick held Josh’s head still and pumped into his willing mouth, grunting with the

tight pressure, the feel of tongue and cheeks and throat.

Josh sucked harder the harder Nick thrust. It was maddening in the best way, pleasure

too intense to not leave him permanently touched by it.

Nick’s toes curled in his boots as the quivering spread all over, goose bumps

springing up as heat lightning shot through him, his vision going bright and white as he

screamed and buried his cock deep. Josh swallowed, shoved his face down further and did it

again, then Nick was coming, his dick spraying the first load into Josh’s throat. Nick felt the

battered muscles tighten, then Josh lifted his head back until the next shot spurted onto his

tongue. He gasped and bucked and cried out as his dick continued pouring out his release.

Josh hummed and swallowed and lapped and sucked and Nick figured he’d died or was

asleep ‘cause sex this good just didn’t happen in real life, at least not to him.

Josh placed a last kiss on the tip of his cock and Nick slid down the wall, completely

boneless, or so he thought. Josh’s whimper sounded frustrated, painful, almost. Nick pried

his eyes open and saw Josh staring at Nick’s softened prick. Josh was rubbing his own dick

through his sweats.

“Can I…” Josh gasped and shimmied his hips, his lids flickering. “I need to…don’t

want to…to gross you out, but can I—”

Nick’s sluggish brain was confused for all of half a minute as he frowned in

concentration. Josh needed to come, he assumed, and he didn’t want to gross Nick out? Nick

growled as he lunged away from the wall, ignoring the soft thunk behind him. It was either

Josh’s phone, or not. He had more important things to deal with right now. Scooping Josh up

in his arms was easy enough, walking while his pants were down low on his thighs, not so

much. Still, he managed to get Josh to the couch and lay him out, then Nick grabbed Josh’s

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sweats and pulled them down before he could second guess himself. Josh’s dick popped out,

dark red, the cap slick with moisture, and…

“Damn, baby, you’re hung,” Nick muttered. Josh might even be bigger than he was,

which, on a guy Josh’s size, made Josh look like he was carry a damn billy club between his

legs. Nick palmed the wet crown and spread the moisture over Josh’s length then began

pumping the fat cock hard and fast. He hesitated to grab Josh’s balls, not sure about such a

step, which he knew was stupid considering he was jerking the man off, but still. He gripped

Josh’s thigh and squeezed instead. Josh was a writhing, incoherent ball of need, coming

undone for Nick rapidly. Nick flicked the underside of Josh’s crown with his thumb on the

upstroke and Josh lost it, his green eyes shooting wide, his nostrils flaring, lips quivering,

gorgeous little body tightening until his back was bowed and his hips jamming up. Josh

bellowed as he came, coating his chest and Nick’s hand with cum.

“That’s the hottest goddamned thing I’ve ever seen,” Nick murmured, unable to keep

the words back. Josh gave him a soft, satiated smile, his pretty eyes hazy and his lids

drooping as if they were simply too heavy to hold up. Damn, he really is pretty, but so…so

much a man. Nick glanced from the semi-erect cock to Josh’s swollen lips, up to his closed

eyes, to the very top of his dark head. Then visually went over Josh again, wondering where

the panic was over what had happened and what it meant. So far all he felt was like he’d had

the best sex of his life, which was a massive understatement.

A knock on the door startled him so badly he tumbled back on his bare ass. Josh didn’t

so much as twitch. Nick brushed a strand of hair from his brow then stood and hitched up

his pants, buttoning them quickly as he walked over to the door. He stopped and picked up

Josh’s phone from where it’d fallen out of his back pocket just as the doorknob turned and

the door was shoved open. Anger, fear, possessiveness, the need to protect—so many things

exploded in Nick as he lunged at the door. By the time he realised it was Evan, it was too

late. Nick was already mid-tackle. All he could do was wrap his arms around the other man

as they went flying out the door on their way to the cement walkway. Shit, Nick thought, this

is going to hurt like a bitch.

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Chapter Ten

His elbow smacked the cement, jarring him clean up to his shoulder. Nick cursed as

Evan wheezed, Nick’s greater weight shoving the breath right out of the man. Nick had just

managed to roll slightly so that Evan didn’t bust his head open on the ground, but the guy

still had to feel like he’d been ploughed over by a steamroller. God knows Nick certainly did,

and he wasn’t the one being crushed between two hundred and sixty-five pounds of hard

man and even harder concrete.

Nick rolled to the side of the narrow walkway, wedging himself between the railing

and Evan. He tried not to lean against the rusted metal, more than a little concerned it’d give

if he did. The idea of tumbling to the sidewalk below was enough incentive to scoot away

from the edge, shoving a gasping Evan over a few inches.

Nick was panting hard himself, and he was pretty sure he’d scraped every bit of hide

off his elbow. He twisted and pushed himself up to his knees, grunting when he looked at

the abraded skin. Nick swung his arm out carefully, relieved not to experience any major

pain. The raw skin pulled and burned a bit, but it was just a scrape, and he could move his

arm with only a twinge or two. Deciding he wasn’t broken, Nick glanced down at Evan, his

mouth opened to ask about the man’s state, only to snap his mouth shut. Evan looked pissed.

Nick frowned, a scowl building. What the fuck was Evan pissed about? It wasn’t like Nick

had known who was coming in, just that someone was, without invitation. And he’d tried to

keep from hurting the other man, hadn’t he?

Maybe he shouldn’t have tried so hard. Evan was drilling him with an increasingly

angry glare. Nick fought his impulse to snap. Josh had had more than enough drama and

bullshit the past few days, and he’d been really mad about Justin and Nick fighting. As

confused as Nick was about what was going on between him and Josh, he wasn’t going to

risk losing it, not until he knew for sure he didn’t want it.

Instead, Nick kept his expression neutral and his body relaxed as he stood and offered

a hand to the downed man. Evan slapped his hand away and scuttled up, using the outer

wall of the apartment to hoist himself to his feet.

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“You have Montana plates. I didn’t notice before, and it could be a coincidence,

except…” Evan growled, and Nick’s spine flashed hot and cold, spiking the hairs at the base

of his neck. Nick ducked his head, guilt making it impossible for him to meet the other man’s

gaze. This was going to cause more trouble for Josh; apparently he hadn’t mentioned who

Nick was. Nick risked a peek at Evan and quickly looked away. “I can see it, now that I know

to look for it. Your lips, even your cheekbones and eyes are shaped liked Annabelle’s, like

Rory’s. You son of a bitch!”

Nick barely had time to step aside when Evan lunged at him. Evan’s fist caught his

shoulder as Nick twisted away, but he managed to get a hold of Evan, wrapping his arms

around the man and pulling his back to Nick’s chest. “Enough!” Nick tightened his hold on

Evan, pinning his arms to his side. Evan huffed and cursed. The heel of his boot slammed

into Nick’s shin and Nick considered throwing the idiot back to the ground and beating

some sense into him. Instead he spun and dragged the other man back into the apartment

and kicked the door shut. Evan continued to kick and curse. Nick risked his slight edge to

slap a hand over Evan’s mouth before hauling him into Josh’s bedroom.

Once inside the tiny orange—orange!—room, Nick nearly lost his grip on the

squirming, thrashing man. He looked around the room, sure his eyes were going to suffer

permanent scarring. Hot pink sheets, blanket, pillows, orange splotchy walls, rust brown

vinyl flooring, posters of gorgeous men in various stages of undress—and penguins. All.

Over. There had to be at least a dozen of the things on the battered old dresser alone. Nick

felt like he’d stepped into some bizarre level of fashion design hell. Evan stilled as well, his

body tensing then shuddering once as he exhaled through his nose. The warm rush of breath

over Nick’s hand kind of grossed him out.

“I’m gonna take my hand off, and you’re gonna have enough consideration for Josh

and all the shit he’s been through,” Nick said, keeping his own voice soft. “You raise your

voice once or take a swing at me, and I swear I will lay your ass out flat, you understand?”

He’d do it, too, if it meant keeping Josh from having to deal with any more drama. Josh

obviously loved Evan, considered him family, and Nick didn’t want to cause any problems

there when he would soon be leaving. He didn’t belong here, didn’t belong with Josh.

Couldn’t process what had happened moments ago and doubted he ever would be able to.

Evan’s words were muffled against Nick’s hand, but he tapped softly at Nick’s hip.

Hoping it was a signal of agreement, Nick slowly released Evan. Evan didn’t jerk away or

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spin around and try to clock him. Instead he dropped his chin to his chest and took several

deep breaths. Nick cautiously edged around him, forcing himself to keep an eye on Evan

instead of inspecting the room for details about Josh’s life. Well, he already knew Josh

liked—no, loved—bright pink and penguins. But what else would he discover about the man

if he had a few minutes to snoop?

Evan sighed and ran his fingers through his hair as he shot Nick an abashed look.

“Believe it or not, I’m usually the reasonable one.”

Lovely. Nick grunted and risked looking away long enough to make sure his butt was

going to land on the edge of the bed when he sat, then he turned his attention back to Evan.

Evan’s cheeks darkened and he wiped his palms on his jeans, grimacing slightly.

“What…” He lifted his hand and frowned as he studied it, then turned a greenish grey

colour. “Tell me that’s not cum on my jeans. Tell me…” Evan gulped and paled even more,

“that’s not what’s on my hand.”

As much as Nick would have liked to, he remembered all too clearly wiping his own

cummy hand on his jeans right before he took Evan down. He glanced around and saw what

he hoped was a bathroom door. “You might want to go wash that off.”

Evan sprinted to the door, muttering under his breath with each step. Nick’s own

hand was flaked with bits of white. Seeing it just made his dick start to harden, and before he

could think about what he was doing, Nick raised his hand up and took a deep sniff. The

tangy scent shot through him and warmed his balls. His prick hardened with the next

heartbeat. That’s part of Josh, proof of what we did, what I did…

It hit him then, like the huge swell of a tsunami finally reaching shore. He’d messed

around with another man! And not just any man, but Josh! Nick closed his eyes as he

moaned softly, remembering Josh’s tight suction and swirling tongue. It had been exquisite

in so many ways; the way it had felt, of course, but also the sounds of pleasure Josh had

made, both while blowing him and receiving the hand job, the way those sparkling green

eyes narrowed and heated, the way they sprang wide open as if surprised by the intensity of

Josh’s climax. They way Josh had so easily and trustingly given himself. He’d fallen asleep

with a satiated look on his face, no hint of distrust that Nick might harm him in any way.

What did it mean?

Another thought occurred to Nick, distracting him from the puzzle that was Josh.

He’d done something that many people would say made him gay. Certainly his own mother

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would, and there would be weeping and moaning and threats, and yet, the world hadn’t

ended. He hadn’t been pulled down into the fiery depths of hell. He didn’t even feel guilty.

Well, not about that. He did feel awful about causing problems between Josh and his

family. Justin especially seemed to be hot headed, and Annabelle wasn’t exactly a

sweetheart, and if Evan were the calm one then that meant everything was going to be

fucked up. And while it had been stupid as hell for him to come down to Texas, Nick

couldn’t regret having done so, not now. He was afraid he might even miss Josh a little when

he went back to Montana.

“FYI, that was disturbing,” Evan drawled as he stepped out of the bathroom. Nick’s

head snapped up and his eyes flew open; he hadn’t even heard the door open! Evan

approached slowly, a tentative look on his attractive—Nick guessed he had pretty eyes—

face. Those eyes now were lit with a hint of anger, maybe, but they were also slightly creased

at the outer edges, as if Evan was trying really hard to battle back a grin.

“I may even be traumatised for life,” Evan continued as he drew closer. “On the other

hand—no pun intended,” he chuckled, deepening those creases, “you can rest assured I

won’t be tackling you and risking another coating of that stuff.” Evan stopped in front of him

and grinned, offering his now washed hand. Nick hesitated only a moment before shaking

Evan’s hand. Once the proper introductions had been made, Evan cocked a hip and gestured

at the bed. “Can I have a seat on the hot pink love quilt? I’d like to talk, and listen, if you’re

all right with that.”

Nick tipped his chin at Evan and studied the quilt. Love quilt? Nick scrunched his

brow as he stared at one particular patch. Oh. Josh… Nick felt the smile stretching his lips

wide. Only his Josh would have a quilt covered in penguins in various states of affection.

Nick thought it was probably all PG depictions, but then again, what did he know? Maybe

Josh was wilder even than Nick suspected. For some reason Nick’s warm fuzzy feelings

ebbed away as he wondered faintly how well he really knew Josh.

“So,” Evan began, bouncing butt first on the bed, his hip and shoulder slapping

against Nick’s and nearly bumping him off the bed. Nick yipped and glowered at Evan, who

only cackled softly. “What? You were looking all too serious, and while we have some

serious things to discuss, the man who is, for all intents and purposes, my little brother,

seems to trust you. I hope you’re not an asshole, because Josh deserves a relationship with

someone who fucking worships him, you know?”

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“We’re not in a…a relationship,” Nick spluttered once his brain unfroze from commit

induced terror. “I…we…” He glanced up at Evan, saw the patient expression, and fool that

he was, loosened his tongue enough to fit his foot, boot and all, in his mouth. “I was using

him to—”

Okay, probably he shouldn’t have started off his explanation quite like that, Nick

thought when he found himself knocked onto his back. Damn, Evan was fast. He had Nick

down, his arms pinned under Evan’s knees in a flash as Evan straddled his torso. Evan’s

hands were braced on either side of Nick’s neck, and while Nick knew he could easily throw

the other man off—he thought—he didn’t because of one simple fact.

“I swear to God, Evan, if you don’t get off Nick I’m gonna snatch you bald headed,”

Josh sniped from the doorway where he leaned heavily on the frame. Evan looked so startled

Nick wanted to laugh, but more than that, he wanted to touch Josh, maybe hold him just for

a few minutes like he hadn’t got to do after their earlier interlude. Nick craned his head

around as much as he could while Evan seemed to freeze where he was. Nick didn’t care, he

could see part of Josh’s face, the line of his hot little body. What bits of the man Nick could

see had his dick trying to harden again, or maybe it was that sleepy slurry voice. Either way,

Nick would rather not get a hard on with Evan straddling him.

“Evan!” Josh half yelled half growled. Evan jerked like someone had tagged him with

a cattle prod then he rolled aside, flopping to his back beside Nick.

“I wasn’t gonna hurt him, Josh,” Evan grumped, “just ask him some questions, like

why he didn’t speak up about who he is.” Evan sat up and Nick did the same, trying to keep

an eye on Josh and Evan both. “I guess I should ask you instead. Why haven’t you said

anything? Don’t you think Annabelle would like to know? Rory, too?”

Josh immediately looked so guilty, his head dropping low and his shoulders slumping

as he seemed to sag into the doorframe. Nick couldn’t stand it. He got up, reaching Josh in

two long strides. His hand was shaking when he brushed at Josh’s shoulder once before

timidly resting his hand on the tense flesh. “Hey, Josh, I—”

“You really should just go,” Josh muttered, his lithe body tensing even more. “This is

a family discussion.” He didn’t look up, and Nick was actually glad for it since he knew he

had to look stunned. It wasn’t just the words that gave him that good old ‘just been kicked in

the balls by a mule’ feeling. The intensity of the pain he felt at the rejection, that was really

what shook Nick. He wasn’t supposed to fall for Josh at all, hadn’t thought he had even after

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the best sex of his life. But he wouldn’t be so hurt if Josh didn’t mean something…big, and

Nick didn’t want it, didn’t want to hurt or give the man—or anyone else—the power to do

even worse damage should Nick be dumb enough to fall in love.

“You got it,” Nick said coldly, not surprised Josh still wouldn’t look at him. He leant

down and whispered against the perfect shell of Josh’s ear. “Thanks for the blow job. It

was…nice.” Then he left the apartment, ignoring the other men’s voices, and vowed to never

be so careless with his emotions again. If just liking someone set you up to ache like this,

Nick couldn’t imagine how painful it would be to actually love someone.

Yes he could, Nick realised as he steered his truck out of the driveway. Hadn’t he

watched his entire life while his mother let Ian Calhoun use her, humiliate her, denigrate

her—and Nick—all in the name of the love she professed to feel for the bastard? Yeah, he

had, and that was enough of a lesson to keep Nick from feeling any more pain at Josh’s

casual dismissal as Nick drove to his hotel. He could be packed and on the road in less than

an hour flat.

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Chapter Eleven

Nice? Josh’s stomach roiled and dipped. His ankle throbbed as he’d whacked it against

the doorframe when he’d rounded the corner. If he hadn’t had something to lean up against,

he would be flat on his ass right now. He might as well be, as off balance as he felt. What was

he doing, messing around with a guy who wasn’t gay? Sure, he’d entertained lots of fantasies

about converting a straight guy to the dark side, but really, it had always only been a fantasy.

After all, how would he ever be able to trust a man who’d spent his life prior to Josh having

sex with women? Who was to say this imaginary man would never want another woman,

when they’d been enough for him in the past?

The sound of the front door closing, a soft snick that seemed more ominous than an

angry slam, snapped Josh out of his brooding. He twisted to stare down the hallway,

frowning hard enough that it hurt his forehead. It would have been nice if Nick would have

at least put up a token argument against leaving, but Josh hadn’t really expected one. Nick

was his fantasy come to life, and all those doubts came to life as well. If he’d had any

questions about whether or not Nick was seriously interested in him as a person and not as an

experience, Nick’s parting words had made it plain what the answer was. Josh was just

something different, the forbidden, or maybe even a toy. He didn’t want to be any of those

things. He wanted to be somebody’s world.

“Are you going to stand there and pout all day now that you ran him off?”

“I didn’t run him off, I cut him free. He isn’t even gay.” Josh shifted and his shoulder

slid against the doorframe, scraping skin before he steadied himself. “You heard him, he was

using me.”

Evan tipped his head to the side, his eyes darting back and forth as he looked at Josh,

as if he were studying every centimetre of his face, looking for God only knew what. “He

said was.”

Josh didn’t even have the energy to snort. “Was as in, he already got sucked off, and

he’s seen Annabelle, probably Rory, too for all I know. Then you found out who he was—

how?”

“Licence plates.”

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“Oh.” Well duh.

“It wasn’t much of a stretch from there,” Evan said. “And once I thought there might

be a connection, I could see the resemblance between the three of them.”

“Yeah.” Josh shivered then eased himself to the floor then dropped the last foot or so

gracelessly so that his ass slapped the floor hard. He leaned his head back and closed his

eyes, too tired to keep worrying about everyone else for once. Annabelle might hate him,

Rory might, too, and Justin was going to do a bunch of screaming and yelling, and Evan…

well, he’d do whatever he’d do. Seeing him go after Nick had reminded Josh of the fact that

Evan had almost as much of a temper as Justin, once he got riled. Except Justin wouldn’t

have stopped and got off Nick. He’d have used Nick’s face for a punching bag—again.

“Josh.”

He didn’t even have to energy to be properly startled by Evan’s voice coming from

only inches away. He might have twitched, barely.

Evan brushed fingers over his cheeks then his forehead before gripping Josh’s chin.

“Josh, open your eyes. Talk to me, please. You kept the secret about Crane to protect me and

Justin both. Were you trying to protect us along with Annabelle and Rory by keeping Nick’s

identity a secret?”

“And Nick,” Josh admitted. “How could I explain who he was without admitting how

I found out? I didn’t know at first, but once I heard about Ian leaving the ranch to a

previously unknown son, and remembered Nick asking me questions about Annabelle and

Rory, it kind of just clicked. I knew then why he’d sought me out. Which, before you ask, was

because he’d apparently been here a few days or something. Long enough for him to know

who his sibs were, anyway. He saw me and Annabelle go into the XXchange and followed us

in. Decided to seduce me to get info about Rory and Annabelle.” He finally opened his eyes

and saw that Evan was sitting on the floor directly in front of him. Evan didn’t look mad at

all. “Why aren’t you mad?”

Evan shrugged. “I don’t think it’s my place to get angry about this. Nick isn’t my

brother, and I know you only did what you thought was best—although I think you might be

wrong about Nick.”

“Which was why you had him pinned to the bed.”

“I got mad,” Evan huffed, running his hand through his hair. “Didn’t think, just heard

him admit he’d used you, and lost it. But he said he was using you, and I don’t think he

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meant what…what happened between the two of you today.” Evan looked at the hand he’d

shoved through his hair and grimaced before continuing. “I think he was talking about

before, whatever happened between the two of you. I mean, come on, Josh! Think about it!”

“Think about what?” Josh snapped. “How stupid I was to blow him when I knew he

was the kind of man who had no qualms about using me? To want him so fucking bad even

though he’s told me he is straight, that he was just playing a part? He’s been hanging around,

following me, waiting for a chance to pin me down and try to get more information—”

Evan grabbed his shoulder and shook Josh hard enough that his head popped the

doorframe. “Don’t be stupid,” he hissed while Josh stared at him, stunned by the physical

reprimand more than the words. “If he wanted information about his siblings, don’t you

think he could have found another way to get it? For that matter, he could have told

Annabelle who he was—”

“No.” Josh had thought about that, and had intended to ask Nick to confirm his

suspicions. “Think about Ian’s will. I’d bet there’s some fucked up clause in there nullifying

the entire thing if Nick has anything to do with Annabelle and Rory.”

Evan considered it for a moment. “Maybe. Probably. Then why come here at all?”

“Curiosity,” Josh answered without hesitation. “Nick is definitely a curious man.” Or

had been, until Josh had sucked his dick.

“Maybe,” Evan said again. “But why hang around? And Josh, you didn’t see his face

when you told him to leave.”

No, he hadn’t, because he would have burst into tears if he’d seen that calculating

look, or revulsion in Nick’s expression.

“Josh.” Evan shook his head and looked so sad suddenly that Josh’s chest went tight

with the force of repressing a sob. “You said you wanted someone like…you wanted a

relationship like the one Justin and I share, and now Annabelle, too. I’m telling you, Nick

saw you and he looked at you like you were everything good and worthwhile in this world.

Then you dicked out on him, and it was like a wave of pain crushed him and put him back

together without any hope left in him. In the blink of an eye he went from this caring guy to

emotionally null. The look on his face when you told him to go was—”

“Stop!” Josh shouted, his voice breaking. “I couldn’t have hurt him, I don’t mean

anything to him!” And now he hurt so bad inside he wanted to curl up and die. Nick didn’t

give a shit about him, he couldn’t—

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Evan made a sympathetic noise and pulled Josh into his arms. “But you did, Josh, and

I’m sorry, so sorry, but you need to know you just threw it all away.”

* * * *

Nick called his foreman to inform him he’d be back at the ranch in two days. He

packed what little he’d brought with him then made the second call he needed to, dreading

it. His mother knew how to lay on the guilt, and if she ever even suspected he’d so much as

thought about another man, she’d drag him to the church and have his ass in a confessional

so fast he wouldn’t have time to protest. Right after she told him what an abomination he

was and how he was going to burn in Hell. She loved him, but she loved her religion more,

having found comfort in it after Ian Calhoun seduced her and tossed her aside. Nick couldn’t

blame her for it, but he didn’t share her enthusiasm at all. It was a sore spot between them,

but she was still the only family he had, wasn’t she? Annabelle wouldn’t hate him any less

than she did just because they shared half the same DNA, and Rory would likely follow her

lead.

And Josh had told him to leave, so there wasn’t any reason for him to hang around

any longer. Nick stuffed down the emotion that threatened to surface. He wasn’t going to let

himself feel anything from now on. He’d go back to the occasional date with a woman to get

laid and forget about Josh and all the things he wanted to do to the man.

Nick snorted and zipped up his grooming kit. He didn’t even know what he wanted to

do to Josh. Or what he wanted Josh to do to him. Had wanted Josh to do to me. No more. But

Nick’s heart and brain weren’t paying attention, because both seemed to race at the thought

of touching Josh, being touched by him.

“Goddamnit!” Nick pulled his phone from his pocket and dialled his mother’s line. It

was more effective than an ice bath, hearing her strident voice through the phone. After a

brief conversation letting her know he’d be returning, Nick turned his phone of and, after

one last look around the hotel room to make sure he’d got everything, he closed the door and

went to the front office to turn in his key card. Fifteen minutes later, he was out of the county

and telling himself he’d be glad to never see Josh again. Maybe eventually he’d even believe

it.

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* * * *

“You’re sure?” Josh asked again, sweat slicking his palms and beading on his brow

and above his top lip. His pits felt absolutely drenched, which was disgusting, but it was

summer in south Texas, i.e., Hell.

Evan nodded again and gave a put upon sounding sigh. “I told you, I know what I

saw. He looked devastated. If I’m wrong, your pride takes a hit. If I’m right, well, maybe you

get a happy ending, huh? Or at least a happy beginning and something to work towards.”

Josh wasn’t sure about that, but if he’d hurt Nick…he just couldn’t stand the idea. And

he was still going to be in deep shit with everyone, he hadn’t forgotten that and told Evan as

much.

Evan rolled his eyes and nodded. “Well, yeah, they’re gonna be upset, but they love

you—well, Rory probably just likes you, but he’s got a soft heart—and Annabelle and Justin

will eventually stop hollering and just want you to be happy. I’ll probably catch hell, too, for

not telling them immediately, but we’ll get past it.”

“Great.” Josh slumped down in the seat, feeling more like shit than he’d ever thought

possible. Now he’d got Evan into another secret, albeit one he wouldn’t have to keep long,

but still. His mood plummeted even further when they turned into the parking lot of the

hotel Officer Stanton had told them Nick was staying in. The big black truck was nowhere to

be seen.

“Shit,” Evan muttered, slowing his own truck down before stopping in front of the

lobby. “Maybe he went for a drive to cool off.”

Josh couldn’t even utter a token agreement. He could barely breathe as panic wrapped

his muscles in steel bands and squeezed his heart painfully. It didn’t get any better when

they got out and walked into the lobby, where the clerk informed them that Nick had

checked out almost an hour ago. Josh’s knees went all wobbly on him and little grey dots

littered his vision. Only Evan’s strong arm around his waist kept Josh upright.

“Come on, I’ll take you home.” The sympathy in Evan’s voice tore at Josh, making his

eyes fill and tears spill over before he could stop them. “Josh, don’t, we’ll…we’ll do

something. We can keep this between ourselves for a few days, maybe—”

“No,” Josh croaked, his nose burning and stuffing up at the same time. “No more

secrets. I’ve already fucked up everything. Take me to your place.”

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Evan hustled him outside and gently helped him into the truck. He didn’t close the

passenger door, instead halting Josh’s attempts at buckling up by grasping his trembling

hand. Josh looked at Evan, or tried to through the deluge of tears.

“You should get some rest, maybe try to call Nick or text him, explain why you told

him to leave,” Evan urged, squeezing his hand. “Take care of that first. If you want, I can

even talk to Annabelle, tell her what’s happened and why—”

Josh shook his head. “I should have said something sooner. I can’t possibly feel any

worse than I do right now, and I am not letting you do what I should have done to begin

with. I’ll…I’ll think about calling Nick, once I talk to Annabelle and everyone else I have to

grovel to. I just want to get it over with.” Get all the bad parts out of the way so he could

figure out what to do. Right now he couldn’t think for the weight of the guilt bearing down

on him.

“I don’t think—” Evan began. Josh cut him off immediately.

“It’s my mistake, my choice, my responsibility to make it right. Take me or I’ll get

there myself.”

Evan let go of his hand and took a step back, watching him like Josh was a couple of

aces short of a deck. “All right, we do it your way, but I’m not letting it turn into a shouting

match.”

Josh almost laughed at that. As if Evan could stop either of his lovers from—

rightfully—chewing his ass. He snapped his seatbelt in place then looked at Evan. The man

looked serious, and that could cause problems for Evan, Justin and Annabelle.

“I want you to stay out of it no matter what,” Josh said, rushing to finish when Evan

opened his mouth to protest. “I have enough guilt to crush me right now, don’t pile more on

by arguing with your lovers, okay? I can’t handle it, but I can handle their tempers.” He’d

had plenty of practice dealing with Justin’s, and he’d calmed Annabelle down from a hissy

more than once.

“Fine,” Evan muttered tersely. “I don’t like it, and they wouldn’t toss me aside for

defending you, but I will try to stay out of it. That’s the best I can promise.”

Josh nodded as Evan shut the door. If that was all he could get from Evan, he’d have

to take it.

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Chapter Twelve

Every mile he put between him and Josh spiked the duelling emotions of anger and

despair in Nick. He was gripping the steering wheel so hard he figured his hands were going

to be permanently frozen in a claw-like pose. He kept his elbows locked against the desire to

turn the truck around. There was no point in going back; he’d been an idiot to ever come

down here in the first place. While he’d known he’d never be able to truly meet his siblings,

Nick had hoped for…something, some mysterious bond that, in his mind, should exist

between brothers and sisters even if they hadn’t ever known each other. If he’d found such a

bond, he would have been in quite a quandary, but he hadn’t, so his path was clear.

Which would thrill his mother, who was now firmly settled at the ranch where she

believed she should always have been. To her, Ian Calhoun’s wife had been an interloper, a

snooty gringa who’d stolen the man right from under her nose. The fact that Calhoun had

been very clear that he’d never consider marrying anyone who wasn’t white didn’t seem to

make a difference. Nick’s mom was convinced he hadn’t meant it, even though Nick had

heard the bastard say those words numerous times. But Nick’s mom, Antonia, had always

loved Calhoun, had even carried on their illicit affair throughout Calhoun’s marriage.

Antonia believed she and Calhoun were married in the eyes of God as Calhoun had

been the first, and only, man for her. How she rationalised Calhoun’s thirty year marriage,

legal marriage, to someone else was beyond Nick. He never could comprehend his mother’s

way of thinking.

And now she was set up like the damn Queen of England on the Mossy Glenn Ranch.

Antonia was furious with him for risking her newly acquired domain. She didn’t care that he

had siblings he’d always longed to meet, to know. All she cared about was finally being

acknowledged as the woman of the son Ian Calhoun had chosen to leave the place to. As if

Calhoun’s spiteful act was really a tribute to her when it really wasn’t anything more than a

way to hurt Annabelle and Rory.

When Nick had told his mother he was coming to Texas, she’d gone batshit crazy on

him, threatening to disown him in one breath then begging him not to take what was, in her

opinion, rightfully hers. Nick had been forced to promise not to actually approach his

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siblings, since striking up a relationship with them would cost him the ranch. But he’d

thought, maybe, if there was a chance for him and Annabelle and Rory to really be family,

the ranch was a small price to pay.

It didn’t matter now. Annabelle hated him, and Josh… Nick’s chest tightened, the

muscles burning as he hissed out a strangled breath. Josh hated him, had used him for what?

His own amusement, then tossed Nick aside. As much as Nick wanted to hate Josh, he

couldn’t. Nick knew he deserved nothing more from the man. Nick had lied, used him,

played him, stalked him—you name it, Nick had done it and fucked up the one chance he

had at discovering something previously unknown about himself. Any hopes he had that he

and Josh might have some sort of connection was now soundly trashed.

“Fucking idiot,” Nick grumbled, pressing the gas pedal down hard. Like he ever truly

had a chance with Josh. Between Nick’s own skuzzy behaviour and the siblings he wasn’t

supposed to contact, a relationship between Josh and him had been impossible to begin with.

Nick had just been too blinded by lust to realise it. “It’s all for the best. Not like I’m even

gay.” The words tasted bitter and dishonest on his tongue. Nick groaned as his dick

hardened, memories of the way Josh’s sweet mouth took him in, those plump lips tucked

over teeth to give Nick the best blow job he’d ever had. And he couldn’t deny that he’d got

off, or that he’d thoroughly enjoyed taking Josh’s fat shaft in hand. What a surprise that’d

been, the feel of silk over steel, thick veins and—and Nick hadn’t just enjoyed it, he’d loved it.

Touching Josh had felt more natural than touching any of the women Nick had fucked.

All right, so maybe I am a little gay. Nick didn’t know if that was possible or not, but it

was as far as he was willing to go in that direction. To reconcile himself to anything more

would cost him the only family he had left, and as screwy and hateful as his mother could be,

Nick didn’t want to be cast aside by her and forced to face this world entirely on his own.

* * * *

Josh looked at Annabelle and Justin sitting on the sofa across from where he sat in the

rocking chair. The confusion on their faces was almost comical as they waited for him to

speak. Evan’s hand pressed his shoulder gently, a quick squeeze to remind Josh he had some

support. It didn’t make him feel any better; he didn’t want to put Evan in the middle of the

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mess he’d made. Although, it was kind of too late, wasn’t it? Josh craned his neck until he

could see Evan standing almost behind him.

“You should go sit over there, probably.” Otherwise Evan might find himself on the

wrong side of the line that might get drawn in a moment. Evan hesitated a moment before

nodding and giving Josh another squeeze. He crossed to the sofa in two long strides and

plopped down beside Annabelle. Annabelle slipped her hand into Evan’s so that she now

gripped both her men. She gave Josh a questioning look.

“What is it? My God, you’re scaring me!”

“I’m sorry, I just…” Josh shifted in the rocker, his butt already going numb from the

unpadded wooden seat. “I screwed up, I think.”

“You think?” Justin asked. “If you’re not sure, why are you so nervous? You’re acting

like you used to when you were fixing to get in trouble.”

Because he probably was. Josh grimaced and decided stalling was only going to make

it all worse. A deep breath almost steadied him. He looked at Annabelle. “I told you what

happened between me and Nick, and that I, er, left him on the floor of the Xxchange.” She

nodded and shot Justin a quelling look when he started to speak. From his expression, Josh

guessed Annabelle hadn’t shared that story with Justin. Or Evan, who was biting at his lower

lip as he arched a brow at Josh. Josh shrugged one shoulder and turned his attention back to

Annabelle. “I realised he wasn’t interested in me. He had this look…”

“Then why has he been stalking you?” Justin asked, leaning forward. Annabelle

followed suit. Evan remained reclining on the sofa.

Josh swallowed audibly, his throat clicking as fear dried up all the moisture in his

mouth. “B-because he… He—” That wasn’t the way to go, Josh didn’t think. At this point, he

didn’t know what was the best way to proceed. Annabelle released her lovers’ hands and

stood up, crossing over to kneel in front of Josh. She looked up at him with so much

compassion Josh thought he might cry. Why hadn’t he said something sooner?

“It’s okay, Joshie, just say what you need to. Why did you leave Nick lying there with

bruised balls?”

“He asked me about you,” Josh confessed softly, “I thought he was using me to get to

you, and he was, but…”

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Justin was already up and towering over Josh, one big finger pointing at Josh’s face.

“What the fuck?” Justin barked, “You knew he wanted Annabelle all this time, and you didn’t

fucking say anything? I’ll beat that son of a bitch’s ass all over again.”

Evan stood and hurried over. He slapped Justin’s finger down and jerked the bigger

man back with a quick tug. “Sit down and shut up, Jus. Let Josh finish explaining before you

jump to erroneous conclusions.”

“I—”

“Now!”

Josh didn’t know who was more surprised at Evan’s unwavering demand, him, Justin,

or Annabelle. Justin snapped his mouth shut and edged back a few feet, but he didn’t sit back

down, instead giving Evan a belligerent look. Evan just rolled his eyes and waved his other

hand at Josh, which he guessed was Evan sign language for ‘keep talking’.

“He wasn’t interested in you like that, though I thought so at first,” Josh said,

speaking directly to Annabelle. “When I said so, he laughed,” he didn’t think mentioning the

derision in Nick’s tone was a good idea right now, or probably ever. “He said he wasn’t

interested in you like that, which didn’t make sense at the time. I mean, why else would he

be asking, right?”

Annabelle blinked once then blanched, her full lips thinning as she narrowed her eyes

at Josh. She always had been exceptionally quick to figure things out. “What are you saying,

Josh?”

The use of his name instead of the pet name Annabelle normally called him caused a

tight ball of terror to swell in Josh’s belly. As much as he wanted to look away from her, or

better yet, get up and run out—like he could even do that with his fucked up ankle—Josh

forced himself to keep his gaze locked with hers.

“I didn’t figure it out at first, but once Rory said y’all had a half-brother, I started

thinking—”

Justin lunged forward. “God damn it, Josh, you—” Evan wrapped both arms around

Justin and literally picked the man up and flung him on the couch. Before Justin could even

bounce, Evan was on him, pinning him down. Shit, this was turning into the disaster Josh

had feared it would!

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“I love you to death, but you need to control your temper, lover,” Evan growled, his

face mere inches from Justin’s. “Josh has probably been too scared of how you’d react to tell

you anything!”

“Josh,” Annabelle said firmly, drawing his attention back to her. He couldn’t see a hint

of warmth in her eyes. “You’re trying to tell me that this Nick asshole is the one my father

left the ranch to?”

This is not good at all. Josh’s temper was trying valiantly to take over, his urge to

protect and defend Nick nearly overpowering his common sense. He nodded once and

folded his arms over his chest, unable to keep from returning Annabelle’s glare.

Annabelle hissed and stood up, no doubt the better to glower at him. “And when

were you going to share this bit of information?”

Josh shoved up out of the chair, almost toppling backwards when the rocker slapped

against his legs. “I don’t know, okay? I was trying to do what was best for everyone—”

“You mean, what was right for Nick,” Annabelle spat, her eyes narrowing to thin slits.

“Because surely it would have been best for me and Rory to know the truth!”

“Why?” Josh snapped, his heart twisting painfully. “So you two could tell him to fuck

off when all he wanted was…was…” He wasn’t sure what Nick had wanted, exactly, but it

couldn’t have been anything bad. That didn’t make any sense. Despite having tried to use

Josh, Nick didn’t seem to be a bad guy. Josh thought.

Annabelle huffed and tipped her head down. After a long moment of silence, she

snorted and raised her head back up, her midnight blue eyes misty with unshed tears. “I

guess I can see where you might have had a reason to be worried. I can’t say I’m not pissed

at the guy; he could have said something, and he shouldn’t have tried getting to me through

you. And he didn’t have to whip Justin’s ass—”

“Hey!” Justin struggled with Evan, trying to shake the man off. “He didn’t whip my

ass, I gave at least as good as I got!”

Annabelle rolled her eyes and cast an incredulous look over her shoulder. “You’re

forgetting that I saw both of you in that jail. Trust me when I tell you he didn’t look as

damaged as you do, honey.”

Josh could see another argument brewing. He tapped Annabelle’s wrist and she

turned back to him. “I don’t know if he could talk to you or Rory.”

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“What?” Annabelle frowned, a faint line dividing her normally smooth brow. “Why

couldn’t he? If he’d just approached us to begin with, you wouldn’t have ever had to have

gotten dragged into this.”

Josh didn’t answer, giving her time to puzzle it out. It didn’t take long.

“That rat bastard,” Annabelle snarled, stepping to the side then pacing a few steps

away. “It would have been just like my father to make the inheritance conditional, keeping

Nick from being able to actually contact us. Fucking manipulative, cruel—” Annabelle spun

around, levelling her gaze on Josh again. “Can you find out if that’s the reason? If Ian only let

Nick inherit on the condition that he not have anything to do with me and Rory?”

Josh’s cheeks burned as he looked blindly towards the window. “Probably not now,”

he muttered. He’d really fucked this up for everyone, not just himself. Josh swiped at his

cheeks, brushing away the moisture there.

“Joshie?” Annabelle’s voice was softer than her hands as she slid them around Josh’s

chest and pulled him gently against her. Her breath fluttered over his ear as she spoke.

“What happened? Why didn’t you tell me you were in love with Nick?”

Josh stiffened and tried fruitlessly to pull away. Annabelle merely tightened her hold

and hung on until he gave up and slumped against her. “I don’t,” Josh said, and meant it. He

felt something for Nick, something full of promise, or at least, it had been before Josh had

dicked out on the man. “Not yet,” and not ever, now, since I made sure Nick and I wouldn’t have a

chance to truly know each other.

“Well, he must not be a complete waste of DNA if you care about him.”

Justin’s laughter was cut short by Annabelle’s sharp “Shut it!”

“But, Belle, every one of his boyfriends have been utter losers,” Justin explained, and

though it was the truth, it still irritated Josh to hear it. Not everyone could be as lucky as

Evan and Justin, and even they had to try more than once before they found the right woman

for them.

Annabelle removed one hand from Josh’s chest long enough to point at Justin. “So?

He cares about you, loves you and you know it, and what’d you do when Joshie was hurt?”

Justin looked like he’d been punched in the gut, and Josh felt a twinge of sympathy for

him. He patted Annabelle’s hand and gingerly began prying free of her hold. “Enough.

There’s been enough hurtful words and accusation slung around the past few days to last us

all a lifetime, and I’m as guilty as anyone else.” Josh turned and met Annabelle’s gaze head

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on. “I think Nick left for Montana, and that’s my fault. I was a total ass after we—” Josh

dared a glance at Justin, who’s face clouded up in anger. Josh shook his head; his brother

needed to learn to control his temper before he had a stroke. “I kind of seduced him even

though I know he’s not gay, then pretty much threw him out when he was being…”

Affectionate? Kind? Concerned? Josh couldn’t decide, he’d been so confused and scared

when he’d walked in on Nick and Evan. “Nice,” he finished lamely, guilt driving deeper into

him. God, he felt broken inside. Josh reached behind him, feeling the hot, smooth glass under

his hand. He braced himself against the window and slid down to the floor, his strength

leaving him. “I ran him off. He’s gone, and now you and Rory won’t ever get to know him,

or…or whatever it was Nick wanted, I ruined it.”

The couch springs squeaked and heavy footsteps slapped the floor. Josh huddled in on

himself, pulling his knees to his chest and wrapping his arms around them.

“Oh Josh, come here,” Justin’s deep voice carried an edge of pain as he sat beside Josh.

He pulled Josh into his arms, half dragging him onto Justin’s lap. “This whole thing’s been a

clusterfuck, but you didn’t make Nick leave. He could have stayed here, tried to talk to you

or Annabelle or Rory. He’s the one who chose to leave.”

Josh hiccupped and scrubbed his forehead against Justin’s shoulder. No matter what

Justin said, Josh knew the truth. He’d been callous and scared of being hurt, and because of

that, Nick was gone. It wasn’t anyone’s fault but his own. Now it was up to him to undo the

damage he’d done.

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Chapter Thirteen

Nick deleted the message without reading it, just as he’d done with every text

message Josh had sent him in the past month. There wasn’t a plethora of texts, it wasn’t like

Josh was driving him insane and filling up the Inbox. Just, one a day, for the past thirty-odd

days. Nick had no doubt his phone would ring right at seven on the dot tonight, and once

again, he wouldn’t answer. The voicemail would be deleted because, Nick was completely

honest with himself about this, if he heard Josh’s sweet voice, heard the need that resonated

inside every part of himself in that warm tenor, then Nick might very well forget all the

reasons why he shouldn’t drive back to Texas. And really, why would he go back now? Yeah,

he still had some kind of feelings for Josh, but Nick was almost recovered from Josh’s

rejection as well as the shock of finding himself attracted to another man. He might even be

able to dismiss it as a fluke since he hadn’t felt even a flicker of interest in another guy.

Or any woman, for that matter. Then again, he hadn’t really been looking at anyone

that way, with the intent of fucking them. He’d been too busy nursing his wounds and

rebuilding the shell around his heart. Still, it wasn’t healthy for a man his age to have no

interest in sex, was it? He didn’t think so, and while he’d never been one of those men who

wanted to fuck any and everything that crossed his path, he used to at least jerk off every few

days or so. Since his return, he hadn’t even done that. Though thoughts of Josh could make

him achingly hard in seconds, he couldn’t bring himself to fantasise about the man. It just

hurt too much, so Nick had shoved aside thoughts of coming and wore himself out instead

working sixteen hours or more each day. His mother was thrilled, but Nick was, quite

simply, exhausted in every way possible.

Nick sighed and looked out from where he stood on the porch, leaning over the rail

slightly, his elbows braced on the wide beam. He watched the ranch hands trailing in from

the fields and fence lines. Then he took another look, hoping what he was doing wasn’t

obvious. Objectively, he looked at each man. He supposed there were one or two who might

be considered attractive, handsome, even, but they didn’t do a damn thing for him. His dick

didn’t even so much as twitch.

“Mijo, you’re done for the day?”

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Nick hunched his shoulders against the disapproval he thought he heard in his

mother’s voice. Did she want him to work to death? Or was her fear of returning to her

former circumstances, living a hair above the poverty level, manifesting itself? Nick had

supported his mother since he’d been sixteen and able to work. The money Calhoun had sent

monthly had barely been enough to cover food and rent, and his mother’s part time job

subbing for the local school district hadn’t been a reliable source of income. If he’d been able

to go to college, get a degree in something, he could have taken better care of her, but that

simply had never been an option. He’d worked on whatever ranch would have him, and had

considered himself lucky to have got his high school diploma.

The squeak of the screen door opening told him his mother was coming out and his

few minutes of private reflection were over. With one last look at Richard, a young, nicely

muscled ranch hand whose sunny disposition Nick envied, Nick slowly turned and put his

back to the porch rail. His mother, all five foot three of her, stood watching him with eyes as

dark as his own. Her long hair was pulled up in a bun, the black strands now matched in

number by the silver ones. Faint lines were etched onto her brow, around her eyes and lips.

The skirt and blouse she wore were a soft peach colour that offset her golden brown skin,

giving her cheeks a soft glow. All in all, his mother was an attractive woman. What she’d

ever seen in Ian Calhoun was completely beyond Nick.

“Mijo?” Antonia frowned, the lines around her mouth deepening as her thin eyebrows

drew together. “What’s wrong? Are you sick? You don’t usually stop working this early.”

Nick bit back the snort that would likely get him slapped, or worse, lectured. He

rolled his head from side to side, grunting when a series of cracks eased some of the tension

in his neck. “No, Mama, I’m not sick. I’m tired. I’ve been up since three-thirty this morning,

and it’s”—Nick glanced at his watch before looking at his mother again—“a few minutes

after five. I think it’s okay for me to knock off a couple hours early.”

Antonia crossed her arms over her chest and cocked her head to the side as she

studied him before nodding. “You do look tired, mijo, but my papa always said, hard work

makes a man strong. It does not hurt him, only keeps him from having time to be a fool.”

Yeah, and Papa died before he hit fifty, and for what? Nick didn’t want to be like his

grandfather, working himself into an early grave just so he could prove he was a real man.

He didn’t know what he did want, but it wasn’t that. And maybe, he needed to be a fool for a

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while tonight. There were questions Nick had asked himself that he’d been unable to answer,

but he might know how to answer them now, or soon, at least.

Nick stood up and waved an arm towards the land behind him. “Everything that

needs doing is done. This place couldn’t have ever looked better.” Barns had been painted as

had the house, the corrals were all spiffy, the pastures were covered in thick green grass, and

every bit of the fence line had been checked and the needed repairs made. Nick dropped his

hand back to his side then walked around his mother and pulled open the front door. “I

don’t know why it’s not enough for you, but it is for me, and I’m going to take a few hours

for myself tonight.” The screen door slapped shut on his mother’s protests, doing nothing to

muffle her attempts to guilt him into staying home. He’d been here long enough—too damn

long, probably.

Nick loped up the stairs, a sudden burst of energy coursing through him. Billings was

about an hour away; it was the largest city in Montana. There had to be a gay bar he could

check out there, right? He’d Google it after he showered, then he’d go and find out if any

man besides Josh would appeal to him.

* * * *

“Thirty-two days! Thirty-fucking-two days!” Josh flung his hands up as he paced and

glared at Evan. “Nick won’t take my calls or return them, he doesn’t reply to my texts—I

don’t even think he reads them or listens to the voicemail messages!”

Evan leant back on the couch, watching him as if Josh had suddenly become

something dangerous. “Why do you think that? Maybe he has listened to and read the

messages. You don’t know.”

Josh stopped pacing long enough to roll his eyes at Evan. “Well of course I don’t know

for sure, but since the ‘I miss you’s’ and ‘I’m really really sorry’s’ didn’t get any responses, I

started sending and leaving the stupidest messages I could think of.” Josh shrugged, his

cheeks heating under Evan’s questioning look. “It’s dumb stuff, like ‘the aliens are invading

here in Texas and I’m fresh outta aluminium foil to protect my brain from the evil aliens’

powers of mind control’.” God, he was such a geek. “Anyway, he probably thinks I’m crazy

if he did pay attention to his texts and voicemails the past few days.” Or he truly might not

want anything to do with Josh.

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Evan stood up and stepped right in Josh’s path. He frowned at the bigger man and

stopped his pacing, cocking a hip and planting his hand on it.

“What?”

“It’s getting a little annoying,” Evan said. “I’m glad your ankle is just about healed up,

but watching you stomp back and forth over a six foot area is going to give me a tic or a

twitch or something, not to mention the wear and tear on your already worn out carpet.”

Josh glanced down at the ugly brown carpet. If he walked a trail through it, it could

only be an improvement.

“Maybe you should just let him go,” Evan said quietly. “Obviously my idea of…of

courting Nick just isn’t working. He hasn’t answered the letters Rory and Annabelle have

sent him, either, so maybe he doesn’t want…”

“No,” Josh mumbled, his eyes stinging as his vision blurred. He stumbled around

Evan and dropped onto the couch. Evan was wrong, Josh thought, he had to be! Nick

couldn’t have faked the desire burning in those dark eyes, wouldn’t have dared to touch Josh

like he had if he didn’t feel the same attraction arcing between them. But why hadn’t he

answered the letters from Rory and Annabelle? Those two were the whole reason Nick had

come to Texas in the first place. It didn’t make any sense, unless… Unless Nick had cared a

lot more than Josh realised. Then Josh’s rejection might have really hurt the man, enough so

that Nick was afraid to give him another chance.

Or maybe Nick wasn’t gay. His attraction to Josh could have been a fluke, something

easily killed off by distance.

“No.” Josh wouldn’t believe that. Even when Nick had been using him, the man had

still touched him, hadn’t hesitated until that one moment at the Xxchange. And he’d stalked

Josh, sort of, hadn’t he? When he could have followed Annabelle or Rory? Why had he

hounded Josh, if not because he simply wanted to?

And why couldn’t Josh do the same? He had some savings now, he could ask for leave

at work, or quit if necessary, and fly to Montana. Yes, he might end up losing his job and

Nick both, in which case Josh would have to swallow his pride and give up all hope of

remaining sane and move back in with his brother. Josh weighed the cost and decided with

little hesitation that Nick was, hopefully, worth risking everything. One thing he was certain

of, he couldn’t go on like he had been, and giving up was not an option.

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“What are you thinking about?” Evan asked as he sat beside Josh. “I know that look,

you’re scheming.”

Josh pushed Evan’s shoulder—the man didn’t budge an inch—then stopped poking at

him. He studied Evan from head to toe then checked himself out as best he could. Evan was a

cowboy to the bone, and Josh was…not, in his hot pink penguin scrubs. He didn’t even own

a pair of boots, other than the steel toed biker boots he wore with his leather pants and mesh

top. And his jeans were definitely not Wranglers. “Stand up,” he ordered Evan.

Evan arched a brow but stood up obediently. “Okay, now, spin around, slowly. I need

to see how this look gets put together.”

Evan looked at him incredulously. “What? What do you mean, this look? Josh you’ve

seen me dressed like this almost all of your life! Your brother, too!”

“Yeah, but I never looked looked at you two, you know?” Josh tried to explain,

gesturing for Evan to turn around. It all depended on how Wranglers made a guy’s butt look.

“Oh, niiicee!” Evan had a nice firm ass, not as rounded as Josh’s, but still very pert, and the

jeans cupped and moulded sweetly to Evan’s ass. Josh’s butt should look phenomenal in

those!

“Are you done ogling me?” Evan snarked, facing Josh again. “Cuz I gotta say, while

I’m flattered, I now feel like I need a couple of thorough showers.”

“Yeah yeah, just checking to see how those jeans make your butt look.”

Evan snickered and slapped his own ass cheek. “Well, absolutely divine, of course!”

Josh couldn’t even come up with a token protest to that. Evan’s derriere was close to

being divine. “Okay, so I was wondering how a pair of Wranglers make a guy’s butt look.”

Evan laughed.

“Josh, it’s the butt inside the jeans that make the jeans look good!”

That being the case, then Josh should make Wranglers look excellent. “Good. So take

me shopping and dress me up like a real cowboy, the kind no one would take for a

wannabe.” Josh stood back up and turned towards Evan, offering him a hand up.

“Dare I ask why?” Evan did indeed dare to ask. Josh wasn’t surprised at all.

“Yeah, you can ask,” Josh teased, grinning when Evan glowered at him. “Because I

doubt Montana is the GLBT Mecca, and I’d rather not get my ass kicked as soon as I step off

the plane.”

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Chapter Fourteen

How the hell did Nick do it? Josh shifted in his seat, cursing when a cramp rippled from

his lower back around to his ribs. His ass was numb and one of his legs was asleep, and he

was bored out of his ever-lovin’ mind! On top of all that, he’d accumulated a few days’

growth of sparse facial hair that made him look like a seventeen year old boy desperate to

pass as an adult, and—Josh sniffed cautiously, grimacing at the assault to his olfactory nerve.

He smelt funky. How was that even possible when he had showered last night and hadn’t

done anything more than sit on his butt for the past several hours?

Josh smacked his forehead with the heel of his hand and grunted. Lowering the

window more might help. So would turning on the AC and getting some air circulating. It

was quite possible, he decided, that he wasn’t cut out for this whole stalking thing. Three

days of it, and his brain cells were clearly deteriorating. He could just show up at the ranch

and hope Nick would talk to him…decently…without cursing and/or yelling, but Josh really

wanted to talk to Nick alone, and he was more than a little afraid of outing the older man.

That wouldn’t endear Josh to him at all, and Josh just wasn’t sure he could pull the whole

strait thing off. He’d thought he looked like a cowboy in his tight—but not too tight, Evan

had stressed—Wranglers, his western shirt and the other accoutrements. Granted, the bright

pink thong probably wasn’t something most cowboys wore, but Josh had to let his gay man

out some way or another.

Josh snorted and wriggled around in his seat. Maybe if he took the thong off, he’d be a

little more comfortable. It did seem to be digging in—

He was in the process of tugging his boots off when he heard a diesel motor in the

distance. From the small crappy rest area only a few miles from the Mossy Glenn ranch on

FM 352, Josh could only just make out a dot on the horizon. He hopped and jumped on one

foot until he finally had the boot wedged on right then he scrambled back into his rental. On

the off chance it was Nick, Josh didn’t want to be seen until he was good and ready.

The big black Dodge blew by too fast for Josh to see the driver, but he didn’t need to in

order to know it was Nick. Besides the fact that every hair on Josh’s body had stood up to

attention, his dick had as well—and his heart had gone into overdrive, dancing and

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shimmying in is chest. Josh buckled up and turned the key in the ignition, praying he was

finally going to get a chance to talk to Nick, touch him. Surely he’d served enough penance

for hurting Nick?

* * * *

“Stupid bastard, of course he gave up!” Nick slapped the steering wheel as he floored

the gas. Had he expected Josh to continue trying to contact him every day for the rest of his

life? Seriously? After Nick had acted like a mannerless jackass and ignored the younger

man’s texts and calls for over a month, shouldn’t Nick be relieved that Josh hadn’t bothered

contacting him—or attempting to—for over seventy-two hours? He should, but instead Nick

was about ready to break down and call the guy.

Nick was furious with himself for being such an ignorant ass, but the truth was, he

hadn’t trusted himself, and he still didn’t. His heart felt like it’d been ripped out of his chest

and stomped on, and that might very well be heartache caused by the knowledge that he’d

finally driven Josh off for good, but what had Nick expected? For Josh to keep trying until

Nick finally died at the ripe old age of forty? Because Nick probably wouldn’t last much

longer than that, not as miserable as he was. Nick pressed harder on the gas pedal, as if

trying to drill it through the floor would really make the truck go any faster. It was just that

his mother was driving him batshit insane, and then there was Josh, or more precisely, there

wasn’t Josh.

Nick’s grip tightened on the steering wheel as he sped along, gaze sweeping past the

shoulders of the road to check for darting critters. As frustrated and confused as he felt, he’d

prefer not to die because he overcorrected when some rabbit or something darted out in front

of him. The fine hairs on Nick’s arms stood up and something very close to an electric shock

shot through him from head to toe. His heart stuttered then raced as he spotted the dark blue

Ford at the rest area. Nick had a split second to see inside the vehicle through his own darkly

tinted windows, but he’d swear, if he didn’t know better—

The dark vehicle pulled out from the rest area. Nick’s entire body trembled before all

the blood in his body rushed to his dick to say howdy. His head spun a little from the rush

before Nick made himself take a deep breath, his eyes on the truck in his rearview more than

on the road ahead of him like they should be. He slowed down, well, slowly, not wanting to

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tip might-be-Josh off. Which was stupid, because if it was Josh behind him, the guy

obviously wanted to talk to Nick, and if it wasn’t Josh, maybe Nick wanted to hold on to the

fantasy that the sexy young man had come to hunt him down.

Twenty some-odd miles later, when Nick was turning onto 94, he began to dare hope

his fantasy was becoming reality. The dark Ford was still behind him, and Nick’s body was

still reacting like it always had to Josh. Nick couldn’t stop a grin at that; he’d spent hours at a

gay bar only to find that his dick didn’t give a damn about any man there, but give him even

a hint of Josh and Nick had an erection he could pound nails with. He flicked another glance

in his rearview mirror, checking to see if the truck was following him still. Granted, it might

not be Josh, but either way Nick had the perfect place for a confrontation regardless of who

the man following him was. If it was Josh, he’d probably feel right at home. If it wasn’t and

whoever was in the Ford wasn’t gay, he’d sure get a shock. Either way, Nick thought as he

grinned wickedly, it was about to get real interesting real quick.

* * * *

The club parking lot was packed like it had been the last two times Nick had come to

The Purple Turtle. Despite the name, there wasn’t anything slow about the clubs; the music

was fast and the hook ups were even faster. The first time Nick had come here he’d

practically ran back out the door when a cute little blond guy with big sparkling blue eyes

had promptly latched onto him right inside the door. Before Nick had been able to do much

more than gasp, a firm hand had cupped his cock and a promise of the best blow job he’d

ever have had been whispered in his ear. Nick had dislodged the guy quickly and almost

painlessly—the blond had a hell of a grip for such a little man—and Nick had been

propositioned another half dozen times before he got back out the door. He’d been terrified

and yeah, a little turned on, which was why his steps had faltered in the parking lot and the

blond had managed to catch up to him.

The blond, a sweet little bit named Adam, had followed him out and started

peppering him with questions Nick had, strangely enough, found himself answering.

Something about the concern in those blue eyes had made Nick agree to a cup of coffee at a

nearby coffee shop. Adam was easy to talk to and Nick had ended up telling Adam about

Josh and the ranch and this newly discovered part of himself. Maybe he didn’t get into

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specifics about what had happened the last time Nick had been with Josh, but Adam seemed

to have figured out something sexual went down. He’d blinked those big eyes when Nick

told him about ignoring Josh’s attempts to contact him, then Adam had told Nick he was

seven kinds of a fool.

Nick kind of agreed, but his pride had got him into a mess he wasn’t sure how to

extract himself from. At first he’d been too hurt to deal with Josh, then he’d been angry and

then he’d just been a damned fool, as Adam had pointed out.

Adam had leant forward in the booth seat, bracing his elbows on the table and his

pointy chin in his palms. The wistful expression on his handsome face pinched at Nick’s

heart. “I wish someone loved me enough to chase after me even though I was being a total

douche.”

Harsh words from such soft lips had left Nick feeling like the world’s biggest ass, and

he’d stuttered through a denial. Josh didn’t love him, he just—Nick didn’t know what he

wanted, and the truth was, he was too chicken to find out. Adam had rolled his eyes and

swatted at Nick’s hand, and the two had somehow managed to become friends, which was

the only reason Nick went back to the Turtle the second time. Adam had snickered and

promised to ‘guard’ Nick’s ‘virtue’ and the two of them had ended up dancing and tossing

back a few drinks before Adam found a likely candidate to hook up with for a few hours.

After, of course, he’d nagged and prodded at Nick to man up.

And wouldn’t Adam end up laughing at him tonight? Nick felt his cheeks heat with

embarrassment. The little blond had given him a hard enough time over the phone before

agreeing to meet Nick tonight. When Nick had told him why he was heading to the Turtle,

Adam’s teasing had stopped and he’d quietly told Nick if he fucked this up, Adam would

make sure Nick was never capable of getting an erection again. Before Nick could react to the

threat, Adam had pointed out what a meat market the club was, and now, as Nick parked his

truck a block from the place, he was having serious doubts as to the wisdom of leading

might-be-Josh here. If it was Josh, he’d be swarmed with eager bodies and hands in seconds.

The thought brought another flush to Nick’s cheeks, this one making his skin feel tight

enough to split. No one was going to touch Josh besides him. He glanced in the side mirror

and yelped to find Adam’s grinning face only inches from his. Even through the window he

could hear the blond’s laughter. Nick frowned at his friend and shut the truck off, watching

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for the Ford truck in his peripheral vision. There was just enough sunlight left for him to

make out the dark vehicle pulling into a slot a block away.

“Hey,” Adam chirped, cutting his eyes in the direction Nick was looking. “Is that the

guy you think might be your guy?”

“He’s not mine,” Nick muttered as he turned to shut the truck door.

Adam harrumphed and sidled closer, placing one hand on Nick’s lower back. Nick

didn’t flinch like he had the first few times Adam had touched him; the man was just one of

those touchy feely types Nick had never understood, but telling Adam to knock it off would

have caused hurt to blossom in his friend’s blue eyes and Nick didn’t want to do that. Adam

pushed gently and Nick started walking, trying his best not to look behind him. Adam

wasn’t so subtle.

“So you won’t mind if someone else takes him to the back room, or—” Adam hissed,

his warm breath gusting over Nick’s shoulder since the blond was peering behind them.

“Shit! You didn’t tell me he was a cowboy, too, or so freaking good looking! Can I take him

home if you don’t want him?”

Nick stumbled and forced himself not to look back. Josh wasn’t a cowboy, what the

hell was Adam going on about? And—Nick stopped and gripped Adam’s biceps, jerking the

smaller man around to face him. “Don’t you fucking dare try to hook up with him! I mean it,

Adam…” He trailed off at the smug smile Adam gave him.

“Gotcha. I wouldn’t poach. I may be easy, but I’m not a complete whore,” Adam said,

his smile fading. “But you better appreciate him, coming out here to rescue you like you’re

one of those women in a romance novel who gets all butthurt and runs away only to be

rescued by the big, strong alpha male. You do realise you’re the chick in this, right?”

Nick let go of Adam’s arm and pushed him away. “What? No! What kind

of…that’s…” He couldn’t figure out how to refute it. Offence seemed the best tactic. “How

do you know that shit anyway? Spend a lot of time reading chick lit?”

Adam scoffed and smacked him on the shoulder. “Hey, he’s even wearing the white

cowboy hat! But—first off, the fact that you even know the term chick lit should have clued

you in to the fact that you’re gay. Second, those books aren’t chick lit, they’re romances, and

yes, I used to read them and beat off imagining the big, strong alpha male fucking me instead

of whatever hussy was the heroine. Then I found something better to read.”

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Nick glanced at the man and was relieved to see that he hadn’t been offended despite

Nick being a jerk. “Oh really? And what’s that?” He wasn’t sure he wanted to know, but

anything was better than dwelling on the too accurate description of himself Adam had just

handed him. He was the chick. Shit.

Adam nodded to the bouncer, ignoring the line of people waiting. “Do me a favour,

Rick? Let the guy in the white cowboy hat in without making him wait? His name is Josh. It’s

one of those romantic true love things.” Adam tipped his chin at Nick, who felt heat scorch

from his toes to the top of his head as the big bouncer grinned at him.

“Sure thing, Adam,” Rick rumbled, holding open the door. “Only ‘cause you look so

hot, though.”

Adam beamed and added an extra swish when he walked inside, the plump mounds

of his ass swaying in a way that had hungry eyes following his every move.

“Looks like you’ll have your pick tonight,” Nick pointed out as he took Adam’s elbow

and led him to the bar.

“Good thing,” Adam snickered, glancing behind them. “Looks like you won’t be here

long. Let’s dance.”

Nick tried to protest, his throat parched from a combination of fear and hope. “But I

want—”

“Shut up,” Adam snapped, narrowing his eyes. “You don’t know what you want or

how to get it, so I’m gonna help you. Now move.”

Nick shut up and followed Adam to the packed dance floor. He tried to look around,

see if he could catch a glimpse of a white cowboy hat, but it was too crowded, and Josh, if it

was Josh, wasn’t exactly tall. Then Adam clamped Nick’s cheeks in his hands and tugged his

head down.

“Stop looking for him. He’ll get through the grabbers and find you if it’s really him.”

Nick jerked his head free and nearly got off the dance floor before Adam grabbed him

and pulled him back into the fray. “Let me go,” Nick snarled, already shoving at the blond.

The idea of Josh having to get through ‘grabbers’ was enough to make Nick want to start

cracking heads together.

Adam jerked hard, surprising Nick with his strength. How could a slight man be so

strong? “No. Get your delectable ass back here and let him come to you. He already came all

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this way, you’re not fucking it up for him now, when he’s probably pissed and indignant and

ready to take on me and everyone else here for you.”

“Whose side are you on anyway?” Nick grumbled as he quit fighting and let his hips

move the way Adam had tried to teach him. Adam only grinned and looped his arms around

Nick’s neck, pressing close enough that Nick could feel the other man’s erection. He didn’t

take it personally; his own dick was happy about the contact even though Nick had no

interest in fucking Adam. It was just feeling a body pressed to his, nothing more.

Until it wasn’t. One second Adam was latched onto him like he’d never let go, and the

next second he wasn’t, torn away and shoved into the gyrating bodies beside him. Nick

couldn’t do anything but stare in open mouthed shock at the furious man in front of him.

* * * *

Josh’s stomach felt like it was on fire as he pulled into the parking space. He could see

Nick, see the cute blond latching onto him, grinning and touching what should have been

Josh’s, if he hadn’t been a dick and Nick hadn’t been a stubborn, egotistical ass. He hesitated

to follow the two at first, wondering if the battle hadn’t already been lost. It was only the

blond peering back at him that encouraged Josh. There was a knowing look in that

expression, one that told Josh the blond knew exactly who he was. The blond had arched a

brow as if daring Josh to follow, so he had. Then when the bouncer had seen him approach

and asked if he was Josh, Josh had known without a doubt the blond was fucking with him.

Probably Nick was too, but Josh decided the blond deserved more of his anger. After all,

Nick had been relatively innocent of the interactions between gay men, but that blond in his

skin tight red leather pants and see through mesh tank top? He knew exactly what the score

was, and Josh was fixing to rack up some points on the damned board for himself.

Josh ignored the hands grabbing at him, the offers for a good fuck/blow/hand job. If

someone got too forceful he didn’t hesitate to put them in their place. Usually a growled

refusal and a shove worked. But there was one or two guys that he nearly came to blows

with. As angry as he was, he wouldn’t have minded releasing some pent up aggression, but

then he’d end up in jail and Nick would end up with the blond slut, so Josh had settled for

kneeing one man in the balls and elbowing the other forcefully in the ribs. He’d left both

losers behind him as he made his way to the dance floor as quickly as possible.

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Somewhere along the way, his hat disappeared, likely taken by one of the idiots who

tried to lure him away from his man. A hand slid against his belly and it was only then Josh

realised his shirt had been ripped open, the pearl snaps having given under the pressure of

too many tugging hands. The pale pink tank he had on underneath was shoved halfway up

his torso, and Josh didn’t see any reason to pull it back into place, not when there were still

horny men with happy hands around him, and not when he kept catching glimpses of that

goddamned blond trying to dry hump Nick on the dance floor.

Never mind that Nick might be through with him, that the older man may very well

be happy with the blond. Josh would kick both their asses if that were the case. He wasn’t

walking out of here without Nick or some answers. Now Josh understood Justin’s temper, the

need his brother seemed to have to either hit someone or something, because Josh thought he

might just explode with the force of his fury. He shoved another man aside and snarled at a

second, then he was there, right there beside the blond, and the hurt and pain welled up and

shot through him. He grabbed the blond and jerked him off Nick before pushing him into the

heaving mass of bodies, then Josh stepped in front of Nick and levered a finger at the man’s

shocked face.

“Outside, now, or I swear to God I will drag your ass out of here!”

Someone slammed into Josh’s side and he turned to find the blond scowling at him,

one slender hand gripping Josh’s biceps. Josh didn’t think, couldn’t over the roar of anger in

his head. He fisted his free hand and drove it into the blond’s stomach, grimacing as his

knuckles slammed into rigid abs. The blond’s breath gushed out and he let go of Josh,

dropping to his knees on the dance floor. The gyrating stopped as men gaped at them, then

Josh was shoved back, Nick’s big hand catching him in the chest as Nick hissed “Asshole!”

and reached for the blond.

And didn’t that tell Josh all he needed to know? Josh spun around and stumbled

blindly off the dance floor. No one reached for him or tried to stop him this time. He heard

more than a few curse words directed at him, along with the name Adam, but people left him

alone, which was pretty much how Josh figured he’d be for a long time.

* * * *

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Nick helped Adam to his feet, yelping when the smaller man slapped his cheek

smartly. “What the fuck?”

Adam raised his hand again and Nick jumped back, glaring at the man. He should

have left his ass on the damn floor. Adam stepped closer and Nick found he couldn’t back up

any further; a solid body or two kept him pinned in place. His friend jabbed Nick in the chest

and hissed, “What kind of idiot are you? You’re letting him get away!”

“But—” Concern for his friend warred with the fear that Nick was going to lose Josh

again. It’d been different somehow when Nick was the one not answering Josh’s texts or

calls, when he’d given in to his fear and broken heart and tried to shield himself. If Josh did

the same, if he walked away and never looked back, could Nick live with that? Did he want

to?

Apparently his body knew the answer even if his mind and heart were afraid to voice

their opinions, because Nick found himself turning and walking, then running when he saw

Josh slip through the club doors.

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Chapter Fifteen

Josh was so pissed he couldn’t make sense of what was happening. One minute he

was shoving through the club door, and the next, he was lifted from his feet and shaken so

hard he thought his neck was going to snap. Josh tried to get a hand hold or a punch in,

something, anything to stop his brain from being rattled around his skull. A rough grunt told

him his knee had connected somewhere, then there were hands grabbing him and fists

flying—not his, he was too busy trying to catch himself when he hit the ground—and

enough curse words to make Satan blush.

Josh ignored the pain in his knees and palms from the contact with the cement and

pushed himself up, standing on wobbly legs. He was a little dizzy, his head spinning and his

vision shimmying, but he could make out enough of what was happening. The big

bouncer—the name sewn over his T-shirt pocket said, Rick—so Rick, then, was trying to pry

Nick’s hands off his throat, and Josh toyed with intervening, but really, why bother? Nick

couldn’t throttle the much bigger man, and whatever his reason for going after Rick, it didn’t

involve Josh. After all, he was an asshole. What would it matter to Nick if Rick had almost

severed his spine? A third body joined the fray, the slight blond screeching at Nick and the

bouncer, and Josh figured he’d better leave now before he ended up in the middle of

whatever little triangle those three had going. He turned and headed back to his rental,

limping slightly as the denim of his jeans scraped over skinned knees.

No wonder Nick hadn’t returned any of Josh’s messages; he’d been way too busy

enjoying his newly discovered sexuality. Everything about this trip had been a waste of time

and money. Josh couldn’t even tell himself he’d got closure, because if he had, he wouldn’t

still want to tear Nick and the blond apart, wouldn’t feel like his heart had been ripped out

and shredded.

Well, fuck Nick. The bastard had set out to use him, play him for a fool, and even

though Josh had tried to stop him, Nick had still done it, hadn’t he? Josh dug in his jeans

pocket and found the keys then pressed the door lock button on the fob. He heard his name

being called but chose to ignore it, more than done with all the shit Nick had put him

through. Pulling himself up by the ‘oh shit bar’, he refused to look back as Nick shouted for

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him. “Fuck you,” Josh muttered, anger welling up to try to strangle the words before they

slipped loose. The resultant garbled sound wouldn’t have been intelligible to anyone else,

but they almost made Josh feel better. He dropped into the seat and slammed the truck door,

locking it as soon as it shut. With a steady hand, he slid the keys in the ignition and started

the truck. Shoving it into gear, he didn’t even flinch when something slapped against his

window. The shiver that crawled down his spine was warning enough so that when he

turned to look at the man pressing his palm against the glass, Josh was ready.

He gave Nick the full force of his anger and the finality of his decision—he was so

done—in a single glance, then, hardening the tattered remains of his heart, Josh turned the

wheel and gassed the truck. The tires squealed and spun as the vehicle rocketed out of the

parking space. Josh caught a glimpse of Nick’s startled expression. The pain stamped on the

man’s rugged features had to be something Josh imagined, he was sure. If Nick had ever

given a damn, he wouldn’t have let them come to this. Not that there’d ever been a them.

Josh took the first right and tried to think of what he should do next. The anger that

had surged through him was rapidly dwindling, leaving him feeling broken in a way he

didn’t know how to cope with, not yet. The few relationships he’d had before this hadn’t left

him so wrecked, and they’d been actual relationships, nothing like the bizarre hits and misses

between him and Nick. It just didn’t make sense to feel such a loss when there’d been

nothing between them to lose in the first place.

Josh squinted as headlights flashed bright in his rearview. Adrenalin spiked in his

veins as he slowed for a yellow light. The headlights flickered again, almost blinding him.

The slow roil of lust tightening his belly and cock pissed him off, picking up the anger that

had faded to an ember and setting it back to a raging fire.

“I don’t think so,” Josh muttered. He glanced at the crossroad then floored the gas,

shooting through the now red light, and just that quick, the chase was on. Another light up

ahead turned yellow, and Josh took it for a misguided suggestion. No way in hell was he

stopping, not with Nick—and probably his pretty little piece of ass—almost tapping Josh’s

bumper. With the way his luck was going, the damned mountain of a bouncer would be with

Nick, too. Josh saw the access road for the highway up ahead to his left. Within minutes he

was roaring down 94, his two timing stalker right behind him. The exit to Hardin was

coming up, and Josh needed to decide whether to head back the way he came—the only way

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he knew to get to Billings, since he’d followed Nick here—or whether to bypass the exit and

find an alternate route back to his hotel.

The ridiculousness of the whole situation hit him. What was he running for anyway?

It wasn’t like he was scared, much. A little, since he wasn’t sure who all was in the vehicle

behind him, but the anger outweighed the fear. It was more the emotional repercussions of

what Nick could do to him, that was what Josh was running from.

Well, he just wouldn’t let Nick get to him. Josh took the Hardin exit and grunted when

the vehicle behind him did the same. A blue light glowed in the interior of the truck behind

him, Josh could see it easily when he glanced in the rearview, but it still startled the crap out

of him when his cell phone rang. Josh navigated the rental onto the long stretch of road that

would lead back to where he needed to go, then plucked the phone off its hip clip. If he

swerved a little when he saw Nick’s number in the display, who could blame him? He almost

didn’t answer, but that would have been being as big a jerk as Nick had been, and Josh

wanted to believe he was better than that.

Turns out, he wasn’t, not by much, but he didn’t feel too badly when he took the call,

barked out a heartfelt “Fuck you!” and turned the phone off before tossing it in the passenger

floorboard. Immature, sure, but still more than Nick had bothered to do for over a month.

Besides, Josh was going to stop, he wouldn’t keep running, he just needed to get further from

Billings first. Best not to risk having too many witnesses for the coming confrontation.

Or his ass whipping, if there were more people than Nick in the truck, but Josh didn’t

think there was. He hadn’t seen any other heads, blond or otherwise, when the blue light of

Nick’s cell phone had lit up the interior of his cab a bit.

Nick was so close Josh could almost feel the pressure of the other truck behind him. If

Josh so much as tapped his brakes, he’d end up with the front of a big old Dodge up his ass.

The potential danger penetrated Josh’s anger; if something ran out in front of him, something

big like a deer, he’d hit his brakes and be splattered all over the road while the damn deer

sprinted away. It’d be a miracle if he didn’t end up dead one way or another.

Gradually, as slowly as he could manage it, Josh let off the gas, breathing a sigh of

relief when Nick got the unspoken message and backed off several yards. Josh let his anger

simmer and roil as he drove, thinking of all the things he wanted to say to Nick, all the things

he wished they could have said if they hadn’t been such idiots. But Josh had tried at least,

and Nick hadn’t, so Josh’s anger only ramped up with his thoughts. By the time he neared

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the rest area where he’d been camped out in his truck, Josh was more than ready to pull over

and confront Nick. He ignored the little voice that asked why he would even bother, since he

kept telling himself that whatever this twisted thing was between them, it was over. If it was

dead and done, what was there left to say?

Josh signalled and eased the truck into the rest area, unsurprised to find it mostly

vacant. How many people would be driving along this desolate stretch of road anyway?

There was one car, and all the lights were off on it. Either the people or person in the car

were asleep or using the sparse facilities. Josh parked as far away from them as possible then

shut the truck off. Headlights shone through the passenger side window then the growl of a

diesel engine vibrated clear through Josh as Nick pulled up on his right. Josh didn’t give

himself time to think, just opened the door and leapt out. He’d taken two steps before Nick

came barrelling around the tailgate.

Seeing the man who’d haunted him constantly for months was too much. Lust and

anger tangled inside him then poured out as he grabbed Nick by his shirt and spun him

around, slamming him hard against the driver’s side door. Josh pressed up against the bigger

man, the muffled grunt Nick made when he hit the truck firing Josh’s need to nearly

uncontrollable heights. He shoved a knee between Nick’s thighs, then kicked at the man’s

foot hard enough to make him spread. Nick tried to shove off the truck but Josh caught his

forearms and jerked them to Nick’s sides. He leant in and ground his erection against Nick’s

rounded ass, grinning evilly when Nick stilled, the scent of fear and sweat and man filling

Josh’s senses.

“What the fuck do you want, Nick?” Josh growled, the rough sound of his own voice

surprising him. He sounded like the alpha, the man in control, and that was a part Josh had

never played before. His dick hardened more as he ground against Nick, still frozen, his eyes

wide and those cruel lips parted. “This what you’re after? Something your little blond slut

can’t give you?” The blond was pure bottom, Josh was sure, since he’d almost always been

the same himself. But that was before, before Nick, before he felt this need to make Nick

understand that Josh was more than just a convenient mouth, more than a way to dip his toes

into the waters of his sexual curiosity. “Answer me,” Josh said, his hips now circling,

working the denim covered globes. “Tell me why you bothered chasing me when you’ve

already made it clear you didn’t want me?”

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When Nick didn’t answer, a kernel of hope Josh hadn’t realised still existed withered

in his chest. He released the other man and stepped back, the urges to fuck Nick or fight him

kept him from going too far. Both were horrible ideas. Josh needed to leave; he had a family

and life somewhere else, and Nick didn’t care to be a part of either of those things. Why

hadn’t Josh got that through his head sooner?

“Get out of here, go back to your ranch and whatever bullshit life you’ve got,” Josh

rasped, his throat burning as his eyes filled. “I’m not wasting any more time on you. This is

over.”

* * * *

Nick’s insides burned as if he’d swallowed battery acid. His body was a confused mix

of lust and fear. The second Josh had shoved his erection against Nick’s ass, Nick had

stopped fighting, held his breath, hoping, terrified, needing—he hadn’t thought of that, had

somehow assumed if it came to anal sex, he’d be the one doing the fucking. Which was why,

he knew, he was so completely thunderstruck by how much he liked the feel of a cock

grinding against his ass, how right it felt, how much he wanted it. Although maybe that was

just because it was Josh pressing up to him, Josh snarling and growling, handling Nick

roughly, forcing him to submit. No, not forcing. Nick could have fought him, could have

taken the smaller man down with a couple of punches, which meant he’d wanted what Josh

was doing to him, and he wasn’t sure he could handle thinking about that. He surely

couldn’t handle Josh walking away from him, not yet. Nick rolled until his back was against

the door, his feet spread apart and knees locked to hold his quivering legs up. Josh rumbled

something, or maybe it was just a sound of displeasure; whatever, it set every nerve in Nick’s

balls on fire, making him needier than he’d ever thought possible.

“What’re you waiting for?” Josh snapped, taking another step back, then another until

his heel hit the kerb and he stumbled. Nick wished it was daylight; he had no doubt Josh’s

cheeks were flushed in that adorable way he only now realised he missed. That small

realisation became an epic one, the slight crack that became a major fault and caused the dam

to burst. Pride, ego, stupidity—in this case, it was all the same thing, and Nick had used it as

surely as he’d intended to use Josh. He’d wrapped himself in it, thrilled each time Josh tried

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to contact him, sure in the knowledge the man still wanted him, but too proud, and too

scared, to risk returning the calls or texts.

A coward, all the way to the marrow of his bones, and the sudden insight sickened

him as he stared at Josh, absorbing the strong cut of his high cheekbones, the sparse

smattering of facial hair that made Josh look much younger than he was, those big green eyes

that in the moonlit night looked like twin pools of pitch black. The man was beautiful, inside

and out, and Nick had done nothing but hurt him. He could have waited, let Josh explain

why he’d told Nick to leave, could have not been such a bitch about it all—the list was

endless, really, and Nick would have many lonely years to think about how he’d fucked up

unless he found a way to fix it all. Maybe answering Josh’s questions was a way to start. Nick

coughed to clear his throat then crossed his arms over his chest. Even he knew it was a

defensive position, but he couldn’t figure out what else to do with his arms and hands to

keep from reaching for Josh. He met Josh’s gaze unblinkingly even as inside he was a

gelatinous mass of fear; if he fucked up any more, he knew he’d never see Josh again.

“I don’t want you to leave.” The first part was easy enough, but the second felt

wrenched from him. “I chased you because I had to. I want you, uh, I want w-what you…”

Nick stuttered another moment then bit his lower lip until he tasted blood. Why couldn’t he

say it?

Josh had no qualms. “You want me—you want to fuck me or for me to fuck you?”

Josh stepped closer and Nick could feel the anger rolling off him like waves of static

electricity. “What’s wrong, you tired of your little blond fuck toy? Wanna know what it’s like

to feel what he does when you’re fucking him? How it feels to have your ass split wide open

on a thick—”

“Enough!” Christ, Nick was going to come in his jeans if Josh didn’t shut up! And he

needed to clarify the whole Adam thing, and he would, soon, but first, “Yes! Okay? I want to

feel you doing that to me!” He couldn’t say it, but damned if he couldn’t shout it out in

circles and purple prose if he knew any. “I want it, I want you, not Adam, not—”

Nick didn’t get any further. Josh lunged upon hearing Adam’s name, and Nick found

himself once again turned and pressed face first against the driver’s window.

“I don’t wanna hear about your boy toy,” Josh rumbled, his hands clamping over

Nick’s, his smaller body pressing against Nick’s back. Nick felt a nudge at his ankle and

automatically spread his legs, lowering his ass down to where he and Josh both wanted it.

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Nick shuddered and arched his lower back, bringing his butt into firm contact with

Josh’s groin. “Adam’s not my—shit!” The burn of a palm slapping his ass nearly had Nick

biting his tongue.

“I told you, I don’t wanna hear about him!”

Nick frowned but kept silent. Surely he’d get a chance to explain after…just after. Deft

hands slipped around his waist, then Nick gasped as his cock was stroked through the

denim, his balls cupped and squeezed. The thrust of Josh against his ass almost made Nick

come; it dragged a low cry from him as his cock leaked and his body throbbed with need.

Parts of him were fluttered, almost pulsing, and as much as he didn’t want to think about it,

one certain place felt empty and aching for something more. Nick whimpered a Josh humped

against him. He realised his hands were free and he reached awkwardly behind him,

wanting to touch Josh, any part of him.

Josh muttered his approval and rewarded Nick with the scrape of teeth over the back

of his neck. Nick thought he was going to lose his fool mind. He found a place for his hands,

clumsily cupping and pulling at Josh’s ass.

“You want it bad, don’t you, baby—Nick?” Josh’s hips beat a rapid staccato against

Nick’s ass, stealing the breath straight from his lungs. Josh’s voice dipped lower, rougher

than Nick had ever heard it—meaner than he’d thought possible. “Think you should beg for

it? Tell me, how many times have you bent over and taken it for in the past six weeks?

Enough that I can just shove your pants down and ram my fat cock in without stretching

you?” Josh groaned and shuddered against him before continuing. “Where’s your stuff?

Wallet? Glove compartment?”

How the fuck was Nick supposed to be coherent? His body was overheating with

pleasure and fear, which was ramping him straight towards ecstasy, and Josh thought he was

a whore who let anyone fuck him or something like that, and Nick was terrified of being split

in two without any…stretching, and way, way too turned on by the idea of it at the same

time. And what was this crap about his wallet and the glove compartment?

“Rubbers, lube,” Josh said, as if he could read Nick’s mind, and maybe he could, or at

least the confused expression he must be wearing. “Tell me you have them, at least one

condom, please.”

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Nick started to shake his head only to remember he was currently pressed with his

cheek to the window. Words were better anyway. He needed to clarify something. “None of

those things, I keep trying to tell you, I haven’t been with anyone so I got no need for those!”

He felt more than heard Josh’s snort, the waft of air on the back of his neck. “Sure,

whatever.” Josh’s casual dismissal of the truth hurt, but before Nick could dwell on it, his

pants were unbuttoned and shoved down, along with his briefs. Josh only pushed them far

enough to free Nick’s ass, cock and balls.

“You better be playing careful with your new friends,” Josh whispered in a strained

voice. Nick opened his mouth to answer with another denial. Josh thrust two fingers past his

lips. “Suck them, get them really wet because they’re gonna be up your ass real soon.”

The promise shorted out a section of Nick’s brain. He moaned and lapped at the

fingers, thrilled at the chance to taste Josh. His eyes drifted shut as he imagined sucking

Josh’s shaft instead, another formerly frightening thought that now only made Nick want to

beg for the privilege of feeling that silk encased steel filling his mouth. God, he wanted to

taste Josh, watch him come undone and—

Nick’s ass cheeks were parted, not too gently, either, making him suck hard and gag

on the fingers he was wetting.

“Be still,” Josh hissed, then the firm slide of something hot and hard in his crease

made Nick cry out. That was…his mind spun trying to process it, put it into words as Josh’s

thick cock rubbed between Nick’s cheeks, tugging at the fuzz hair in his crack. A small part

of him wanted to recoil, to deny this pleasure to Josh and himself, but the larger part

stomped the denial into nothing as Nick pushed back into the contact. It felt so good, almost

as good as the grunts and moans Josh was making as he thrust faster against Nick. “Not

what you wanted,” Josh said between pants, “not what I wanted either, but…good.” His

fingers slipped from Nick’s mouth, allowing Nick to murmur his agreement. Goose bumps

prickled his flesh as Josh trailed his hand down, skimming over Nick’s erection, making him

hiss and softly beg for more.

“Getting there.” Josh cupped his balls and Nick reached for his own dick, hard and

leaking, the tip so sensitive he couldn’t stop himself from groaning. Josh used his other hand

to pull Nick’s hips back. “Bend over so you can jack yourself.”

Nick scooted away from the truck, Josh glued to his backside like he was never

coming off. He leant forward and placed one palm on the door and kept the other pumping

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his cock. Josh’s hand left Nick’s hip, sliding over his lower back to cup the seam of Nick’s ass,

pinning Josh’s dick between hand and crease.

“Yeah, this is…” Josh moaned, thrusting hard enough that Nick had to stiffen his arm

to keep from smacking his head on the door. “It’s good,” Josh purred, brushing a finger past

Nick’s balls. Fear reared its head and spread from Nick’s spine to his butt. He clenched his

cheeks when he felt a digit press at his hole, unable to hide his apprehension.

“Josh, I haven’t—please,” Nick begged, unsure of what he wanted more, for Josh to

penetrate him with that finger or to back away. He was shivering so hard his teeth were

chattering but his erection hadn’t flagged; if anything it’d only become harder.

Josh stilled behind him, the finger rimming his anus dropping away. Nick knew then

he hadn’t wanted Josh to stop, had wanted him to push Nick past his fear and show him

what it meant to belong to the younger man. Nick peered over his shoulder. Josh was

looking at, Nick thought, his ass, a frown pulling down the plush pink lips Nick had yet to

taste again as he longed to.

“Please,” Nick whispered, his voice cracking despite his best effort to keep it steady.

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Chapter Sixteen

Josh shook himself, forcing his attention from the hand pressed to Nick’s ass, the sight

of his cockhead gleaming in the moonlight, leaving slick trails on Nick’s skin. Nick was

looking at him with such a pleading expression, his body trembling from fear or need. Josh

wasn’t sure which, but with the way Nick had clenched and kind of stopped breathing when

Josh had traced over his ass hole, Josh was leaning towards fear.

“What am I doing?” Josh took his hand off Nick’s fuzzy butt and stepped back, his

cock already going soft. Had he really been about to take Nick here like some cheap trick? He

doubted he’d have been content with merely rubbing off on the man once he’d felt the tight

clamp of Nick’s ass around his fingers. As close to mindless as he’d been, Josh was very

much afraid he would have fucked the man bare, rough and hard and without thought to the

fact that Nick was, in this at least, a virgin. Thank God he’d stopped when he could.

“Josh?”

The quiver in Nick’s deep voice coiled around Josh’s heart, scooping up a few of the

broken bits and sliding them back in place. How could he have treated the man like this even

with the way Nick had acted? You didn’t treat someone you loved like this, using them to

purge yourself of anger and pain. And he did love Nick, Josh knew it, had for some time

although he wasn’t ready to admit it to anyone else. Josh took another step back, fumbling

with his limp dick and stuffing it back in his jeans. “I’m sorry, I can’t—” Josh shook his head,

wishing he could see Nick’s eyes clearly. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

Nick’s back heaved as he turned and rubbed his forehead against the door. Josh

thought he was muttering something but the words were too soft for him to make out. After

another shudder racked Nick’s body, he stood and hitched up his jeans and underwear,

keeping his back to Josh.

After a long moment of silence broken only by rasping breaths, Nick shifted and

straightened his shoulders. “Josh.”

Josh couldn’t answer, not when it seemed this moment was held together by such

fragile gossamer threads. Surely his voice would break them and whatever this was between

them right now, this strange, taut truce, would be irreparably broken. Nick turned and held

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out his hand, his fingers trembling. “Come here, please.” His face was a portrait of shadows,

shades of grey and black Josh couldn’t see through to the expression underneath. Josh shook

his head once, a jerky move that pinched at the muscles in his neck.

“No, I don’t think—” he sighed and looked away from the tempting hand. “I should

leave, let you go back to your—your friend.”

“That’s all he is,” Nick said, his voice, unlike the rest of him, steady and sure. “Adam

is only a friend, nothing more. We haven’t done anything since he groped me the first time

and I ran.” Nick took a step forward, his boots scraping the asphalt. Josh kept his gaze on

those boots, his heart thudding as they came closer still. “He wasn’t you,” Nick murmured,

and Josh wanted to believe him, wanted to think they could get past all that was between

them. “I couldn’t touch him, didn’t want anyone else to touch me because none of them were

you.”

The boots were so close to his own. Josh could feel the heat rolling off Nick’s body,

sinking into his skin and warming all the cold places that ached inside.

“Josh.” Nick’s breath gusted across Josh’s cheek.

Josh found the courage to tip his head up and look at the man who had the power to

break him. Nick was so handsome in the moonlight, his rough features softened, his lips

glistening, promising, tempting.

“Why?” The anger he’d felt consuming him had softened faster than his dick, leaving

him confused and aching. He studied Nick’s dark eyes, looking for a clue. “Why did you

leave? Why didn’t you answer my calls or texts, or even the letters from Rory and Annabelle?

I can understand if you don’t w-want me, but…” Josh stopped, afraid he’d lose it if he

continued. He couldn’t understand if Nick didn’t want him, not really, not when the

attraction flowed so strongly between them.

Work roughened fingers cupped his chin when Josh tried to drop his head down. He

didn’t want Nick to see his eyes, which surely had to be shining with unshed tears. Josh let

his face be cradled in those warm fingers, but dropped his eyelids down until he could barely

see. It was the only way he could hide.

* * * *

Where to start, Nick wondered as he thrilled at the feel of Josh’s skin against his hand.

And what letters was he talking about? Nick had an uneasy thought; his mother was

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desperate to lay claim to Ian Calhoun’s home. She would do anything to remain there,

including ensuring he had no contact with his half siblings. That was a lesser matter, though,

when he was finally able to touch the man who’d etched himself so deeply inside Nick’s

heart.

“I was afraid,” he admitted, his voice gruff. Real men weren’t scared of anything, were

they? He’d been told that often enough, by Antonia and Ian, but what did either of them

know besides greed and manipulation? Josh’s eyelids flickered but he didn’t look at Nick,

not yet. Nick stroked the firm jawline, heat coiling in his belly as his fingers rasped over

patches of fine hair. “I cared too much, and I thought you didn’t, couldn’t, not after all the

shit I put you through. Then I was just too proud, and”—he sighed, knowing if Josh didn’t

already think him a total asshole, he soon would—“it made me feel good to have you chasing

me, to be able to ignore you and maybe hurt you like I was hurting.”

It was petty and immature and just plain mean, but it was the truth, and Josh

deserved to know the man he had wanted.

Josh finally looked up at him, those wide eyes shimmering. “You did, every time you

ignored me, but that wasn’t as bad as seeing you with that—” Josh averted his eyes, hiding

under thick lashes and blue veined lids. “With your friend.”

Nick couldn’t stand the pain he’d put into that sweet tenor any more than he could

tolerate the tears that slipped down to streak Josh’s cheeks. Walking away might be better for

Josh, but he couldn’t do it, not this time. “Josh.” Nick wanted to say it over and over, to

reassure himself the man was really here and hadn’t walked away. He smoothed his hand

down Josh’s neck, smiling when the smaller man shivered and tipped his head to the side,

giving Nick more skin to touch.

Nick couldn’t resist such an offer. He slipped his other arm around Josh, pulling the

man closer, then bent to nibble at the soft expanse of skin. Josh sighed and held Nick’s hips,

his fingers clenching when Nick nipped at the pulse point he’d discovered. Nick licked the

spot, the taste of Josh flooding his senses. His cock hardened more with each brush of tongue

and teeth. Nick sucked gently at first, then with more force when Josh moaned and pressed

against him. It was almost the same spot he’d marked before, but then he’d been playing a

stupid game, and now…now he just wanted this man more than his next breath.

Nick sucked and lapped his way to the small fleshy lobe. His hands cupped Josh’s ass

as he bit the flesh gently. Josh moaned and arched into him, rubbing his cock against Nick’s

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thigh. Nick used his knee to part Josh’s legs and slid one of his own between, giving the man

more to leverage to hump. Josh’s hands slid over Nick’s flanks and gripped his ass hard,

sending tingling heat from his fingertips to Nick’s hole and balls. He nipped Josh’s earlobe

then licked the delicate shell, grinding against Josh’s taut stomach.

“We can’t do this,” Josh muttered even as he gripped Nick harder. “Not like this.”

Nick stilled, his lips brushing Josh’s ear. His fingers were sunk into the swells of Josh’s

ass with enough force to bruise and he couldn’t make himself let go. “Not like this?” Nick

asked, pulling Josh closer, pressing his thigh against the hard length. “I can’t let you leave

me, not now—”

Josh’s breath hitched and he let go of Nick’s butt, wedging his hands between them to

shove at Nick’s chest. “So, what? You want me to stay here, live with you on Calhoun’s

ranch?” He snorted and shook his head. “How could that work, Nick? What can we really

have if you’re going to stay here?”

“I don’t know,” Nick answered, unwilling to give up the desire raging inside him. He

refused to be pushed away, prying one hand from Josh’s ass to clutch at the smaller man’s

back. “I don’t have answers, I just—I need you, okay? I don’t deserve you,” and now Nick

couldn’t stop the intrusion of reality those words brought with them. “I don’t know what we

can have, if we can have anything more than tonight or however long you’re going to be

here.” He couldn’t think beyond that, not when the idea of Josh leaving hurt so much.

Josh nodded and stopped struggling. “At least you’re being honest, even if I hate what

you’re saying.”

Nick stroked Josh’s dark hair, marvelling at the silky texture. It was so different from

his own thick mass. “I won’t lie to you. I don’t have any answers, but I want you.” Nick

swallowed against the urge to protect himself, crushing Josh to him as if in doing so he could

absorb the other man’s strength. “I want what I asked for before, to feel you in me.” Those

were the hardest words to say, harder than ‘I’m sorry’ or anything else. They went against

everything his mother had taught him, but he’d already concluded she didn’t know anything

about him. He was only a means to an end to her. Maybe it was past time for him to think

about what he wanted and needed instead of letting himself be manipulated. Maybe, with

Josh here, he could find the strength to stand up for himself since he finally had something

worth fighting for. Nick tipped Josh’s head back and kissed him, moaning at the first press of

those plump lips, shivering as he delved his tongue into the warm opening.

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Sweet and addictive, Josh’s flavour rolled through him, settling in his cells and

binding Nick to this one man. He’d find a way to make this work, or he’d walk away from

the ranch if Josh would have him.

“Okay,” Josh breathed the word against Nick’s lips, easing some of the tension

niggling at him. He hadn’t thought Josh would say no, but he’d been wrong before too many

times. “But not here. I won’t fuck you bare, and I won’t fuck you like some truck stop slut.”

Nick wouldn’t have minded, but Josh wanting to make this about something more

was sweet. As for the condom, well, Josh knew more about the risks than he did, and Nick

would be an idiot to press the man to do anything Josh wasn’t comfortable with. It was only

that Nick wanted to belong to him so badly, but that didn’t give him the right to put either of

them at risk. He could, however, make a quick correction. “Rest area slut, but just yours.”

Nick bit at Josh’s kiss swollen lips then leant back until he could see the younger man clearly.

“I’m assuming you have a room somewhere. Will you take me there?”

Josh was nodding before he finished asking the question. Nick grinned and slid his

hand in the younger man’s, happy to follow Josh anywhere.

* * * *

Josh couldn’t remember being so nervous before in his life as he pulled into the hotel

parking lot. Nick parked beside him, and even though Josh wasn’t over being hurt, he

couldn’t deny either of them this time together. Whether it’d be more than that, he doubted.

Nick wouldn’t want to risk losing his inheritance; sure he liked Josh, but once Nick had his

curiosity satisfied, he probably wouldn’t be able to get away fast enough.

And Josh would let him go this time, because he loved the big, stupid man.

Nick tapped at the window and Josh put the truck in gear. A quick turn of the wrist

then he pulled the keys out and took a steadying breath. He opened the door as Nick stepped

back then nearly broke himself in half when he tried to get out without unbuckling.

Nick snickered and came over, reaching around Josh and pressing the button. “Helps

to take this off first.”

“It’s your fault for turning my brain into mush,” Josh said, smiling despite his

embarrassment. Nick only smirked and took Josh’s arm as if to help him from the vehicle.

Josh gave the man an arch look but didn’t pull away; who knew how much longer he’d have

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to feel Nick’s touch? Nick didn’t step back when Josh got out, instead leaning into him. Josh

glanced nervously around the parking lot. “Aren’t you afraid someone will see?”

“I’m tired of being afraid,” Nick answered, nuzzling Josh’s cheek. If Josh had had any

defences left, that declaration would have demolished them. As it was, those words only

reinforced the way Josh felt for the man. How could he not love Nick when he was allowing

Josh to see his vulnerability?

Nick nudged his erection against Josh’s hip. “Please tell me your room is close.”

Josh nodded and pointed towards his room only a few yards away as he considered

this new—to him at least—side of Nick. He was handing Josh the lead, asking, with that

strong muscled body rubbing against his, for Josh to take control. It wasn’t a position Josh

had found himself in often, and never as he’d been at the rest area, but he couldn’t deny he’d

loved it even if it had scared him somewhat. Tucking his hand into Nick’s back pocket and

giving his ass a good pinch, Josh tugged to get the man moving, shutting the truck door once

they were both out of the way. The short walk to the room was made with hips bumping and

shoulders rubbing, hands tangling and trying for quick gropes that nearly landed them both

on their faces more than once.

“Hurry, hurry,” Nick urged, his hands plucking at Josh’s pockets. “Where’s the key

card?”

“Wallet,” Josh mumbled around a mouthful of Nick’s neck. The man tasted so good,

sweat and salt and that indefinable flavour that was only Nick. He felt Nick pull at his back

pocket and would have laughed if it wouldn’t have meant he’d have to stop nibbling.

“Fuck, could these jeans be any tighter?” Nick groused. Josh had to give up the tasty

bit he’d sucked up a mark on when Nick moved back, Josh’s wallet in hand. He found the

key card then handed the wallet back to Josh before opening the door. “Finally.”

Josh opened his mouth to agree only to find himself shoved against the door, closing it

and jarring him at the same time. Before Nick could bring his head down for a kiss, Josh

grabbed the bigger man and spun them, pinning Nick in place then crushing their mouths

together in a kiss that would have singed the hair off Nick’s body if he hadn’t waxed most of

it off.

Nick grunted when Josh bit at his lower lip, but he opened and gave Josh what he

wanted. Josh swept his tongue inside, slicking over every spot he could reach, then he angled

his head and did it again. Nick shuddered under Josh’s hands, the broad planes of his chest

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rising and falling rapidly, his big hands clamped firmly on Josh’s ass. Josh buried his hands

in Nick’s dark hair, winding his fingers in deep and curling them so he could pull and adjust

Nick’s head to whatever position he wanted it. And Nick let him, which sent a thrill through

Josh and ratcheted up his arousal to an almost unbearable height.

He ended the kiss with a stinging bite then stepped back, slowly easing his hold on

Nick. “Are you sure this is what you want? Tell me now before I can’t stop.” He would

though, if Nick asked, at any time. It might kill him, but he’d do it.

Nick glared as he continued trying to pull Josh back. “Do you want me to beg, is that

it? I will, I should—” he started to slide down the door and Josh panicked.

“Don’t! Jesus, Nick! I wouldn’t make you beg.” Unless they were lovers, secure and

faithful, then the games they could play… But he didn’t want to see this incredible man

humbled, brought to his knees unless it was to suck Josh’s cock. He fisted his hands back in

Nick’s hair and held tight, emphasising his point. “I only want to make sure you’re sure. I

won’t ask again.”

“Good,” Nick said, then winced as he tried to nod. “Can we get naked now? I really

want to know what you feel like. I want to touch you. You don’t know how much I’ve

thought about what you feel like, here,” Nick ran a hand over Josh’s chest, up to his

shoulder, down his upper back. “And here.” His other hand smoothed over Josh’s hip then

down the front of his thigh, back up again to the insides of his thighs. “So many places, and I

tried to imagine, touched myself in some of those spots, but it wouldn’t be like touching

you…”

Christ! Josh was the one shaking now, burning inside out from the seductive words,

the soft sweep of hands, and the image of Nick touching himself anywhere at all. Josh

released the man and moved away, out of reach for now. “All right then. Get naked for me.

Show me you want me.”

Nick kicked off his boots then stripped there by the door. Josh didn’t know if he was

relieved or disappointed that Nick removed his clothes so quickly; a slow tease would have

been exquisite to watch, but then he’d have had to wait longer to see the beautiful naked

body.

“Perfect,” Josh muttered. Even the farmer’s tan was sexy to him, at least on Nick. The

thick pelt of chest hair was a huge turn on, as was the dense hair on the man’s legs and arms,

and his groin. Josh loved a man who was au natural, though he kept himself satiny smooth

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as it seemed to please his lovers when he had one. He couldn’t miss the big cock sticking

straight out from Nick’s bush, or the furry, heavy balls hanging between his spread thighs.

His mouth watered as his dick spat a shot of pre-cum. He knew what Nick tasted like, what

that thick shaft felt like pounding into his mouth.

Nick moaned and fisted his length, giving Josh a pleading look. “Josh, tell me what to

do. I need…something. Touch me, fuck me—”

Josh would blow if Nick kept it up. He turned and gestured at the bed. “Lay down on

your stomach. Easier for you that way.”

“I don’t want easy,” Nick said from so close Josh couldn’t help but yelp. He hadn’t

heard the big man move. Wet heat slicked a trail over the back of Josh’s neck right before

sharp teeth bit at the flesh.

“Oh Jesus,” Josh hissed, pressing the heel of his hand against his dick. “Stop it before I

come, unless you want to fuck me instead?”

“Fuck,” Nick rasped, melding himself to Josh’s back. “Could I? Next time?”

Next time? Josh wasn’t sure he was going to survive this time! “If you don’t come

when I fuck you, you can do me after.” It might be the only chance he had to feel Nick in

him.

Nick groaned and Josh could feel the man’s big body shudder against him. “I don’t

think that’s an option. You don’t seem to understand how bad I want this.”

“Then let me undress,” before he came in his jeans, a distinct possibility with Nick

uttering words that acted like a fist pumping Josh’s cock.

Nick suckled the back of Josh’s neck then backed away before walking around him to

lay on the bed—on his back.

Josh hesitated with his shirt halfway off. “Nick, the first few times it’s easier on a guy

if he’s on his stomach or hands and knees. It’ll hurt still, but not as bad.”

Nick glowered and only scooted to the centre of the bed. “I don’t care. I want to see

you.”

Josh tried again. “You might regret it, just tell me—”

“I won’t,” Nick growled, patting the bed. “Hurry up and come here.”

“Bossy bottom,” Josh muttered, stripping off his shirt. His boots were a little trickier

so he sat on the bed and worked them off as Nick stroked his back, murmuring praises about

the softness of his skin, the firmness of his muscles.

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“Get a condom and the lube from my bag,” Josh said, gesturing at the pink bag beside

the bed, desperate for a reprieve from the edge he was precariously balanced on. He finished

stripping while Nick gathered what they needed then Josh knelt on the bed facing his soon to

be lover. “Just sit them beside you, unless you want to put the condom on me?” He regretted

asking, afraid he’d scare Nick away, more afraid he wouldn’t be able to hold back if Nick

touched him.

* * * *

Nick barely heard the question, staring hungrily at Josh. There wasn’t a bit of hair on

the man’s fine body, his groin bare, his legs, chest, arms and pits smooth and supple. And

that fat cock Nick had touched before, the thick veins emphasising its length and girth, the

broad cap slick. How could he speak when all he wanted was to devour the man from head

to toe? The bit of fear that had lingered tried to grow as Nick stared at Josh’s cock. He

couldn’t imagine how something that big would fit up his ass, but Josh didn’t seem to think

it wouldn’t work, and Nick really wanted to try.

“I’ll do it then,” Josh said, reaching for the condom.

“What? No!” Nick batted his hand away, Josh’s question only now filtering through

his brain. “I’ve put them on myself, surely I can do this.”

A flush spread over Josh’s chest and up his neck as his dick jerked. A bead of pre-cum

slid from the slit, slowly rolling over the cap and stringing onto the bed. It was the hottest

thing Nick had ever seen, next to his very naked, very sexy man. Scooting closer, he dragged

his finger through the slick liquid then darted a questioning glance at Josh.

“You don’t have to,” Josh murmured.

But he wanted to, and the words couldn’t climb out past the moisture pooling in his

mouth. Nick brought his finger to his lips, looking once again at Josh. Slowly, teasingly, he

licked the salty pre-ejaculate from his finger, humming his approval at the taste. “You taste

so good,” Nick said, leaning in closer, his gaze locked with Josh’s. Josh hissed when Nick

lapped at the leaking slit. Nick felt a surge of desire roll through him and he shifted to his

hands and knees, uncaring of how he looked as he sought more of Josh’s offering.

Josh moaned and fisted the base of his cock with one hand, his other tugging at his

balls. “Nick, another time, maybe…”

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Nick pulled back, wondering what he’d done wrong. He hadn’t got to do more than

run his tongue over the smooth flesh, barely getting a taste of what he sought.

Josh reached for him with a shaking hand, stroking him from cheek to chin before

rubbing his thumb over Nick’s lips. “It felt too good. I keep telling you, or trying to, I’m

gonna come if you touch me much at all.”

Nick breathed a relieved sigh and nodded. That, he understood, and at least he hadn’t

screwed up his first attempt at a blow job. He just hadn’t got to do it, really, but he would.

Lying back on the bed, he tossed the rubber to Josh. No way was he risking having to wait

much longer for what he wanted. “What do you want me to do?”

Josh tore the package open and began sheathing himself. “Bend your legs, and spread

them for me, as wide as you can.”

Nick told himself he was not a chick despite Adam’s earlier teasing. It was still

difficult to follow Josh’s directions, putting himself in a position he’d often taken a woman

in. Still, he didn’t hesitate, knowing Josh might misread it for fear instead of embarrassment.

Nick bent his legs until his heels bumped his ass, then spread his legs as much as he could

manage. The position left him wide open and exposed, especially that one part of himself no

one had ever seen or touched—besides Josh.

Josh finished rolling the rubber on then looked at him, his full lips parting. A grunt

that sounded like he’d been kicked in the gut by a horse rushed from Josh’s mouth as his

green eyes widened. The flush, which had started to fade, darkened once more, spreading to

the roots of his hair and down to his waist. “Jesus, Nick, you have no idea how fucking hot

you look right now.”

“Glad you think so, ‘cause I feel like an idiot,” Nick admitted, his thighs quivering

against the need to cover himself.

Josh chuffed softly and popped open the lube. “It’s hard, harder for someone who’s

always thought they were straight, I guess, but it gets easier.”

Nick pushed himself up on one elbow and made sure Josh was paying attention. “I

won’t do this for anyone else, so it only has to get easier with you. Even if it doesn’t, I’ll

spread for you any time you want me to.”

“Oh.” Josh blinked, the lube slipping from his grasp. “I don’t…that’s…how can

you—”

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Josh looked so stricken that Nick wanted to laugh, except it hurt to think he’d caused

Josh to be so unsure. He couldn’t stand it. Nick forgot about the position he was supposed to

be in and sat up, shifting to his knees so he could frame Josh’s face with his hands. “I went to

that club, thinking if I was gay, surely someone else could make me feel like you did.”

So close, he couldn’t miss the pain that flitted across Josh’s expression. Nick swooped

down for a tender kiss, lingering over it until he felt Josh ease. “No one did, Josh, understand

me? No one, not a woman, not any man, has made me feel like this. I don’t know that I’m

gay so much as it’s just you. You do this to me, make me ache, make me need something I

never even thought about before you. Do you understand me?” It was suddenly so important

that Josh did understand, that he believed Nick wanted only him.

Josh dropped his lids, hiding once again, but Nick wasn’t having it. He tipped the

younger man’s head up and dipped his own until he could gaze at the narrow slits, bits of

green farmed by white.

“Do you believe me, Josh?”

Josh’s lips moved, his Adam’s apple bobbing, clicking noisily before he finally spoke

so quietly Nick had to strain to hear him. “Yes, I believe you.”

It was enough for now, and Nick kissed the last of the words from Josh’s lips before

resuming his position, this time without the vulnerable feeling. He wasn’t the only one who

was risking himself tonight, though how he hadn’t seen it sooner was beyond him. Too busy

buzzing with lust, he thought.

Josh crawled over him, planting his hands on either side of Nick’s head. Their cocks

brushed together, pulling twin moans from them. Josh dropped to his elbows, pressing the

insides of his knees against Nick’s hips. The contact of dicks and lips was almost too much;

Nick thrust up, needing more friction on his shaft while he opened to Josh’s plundering

mouth. Josh groaned into the kiss as he lowered himself fully onto Nick. Nick couldn’t think

as electric shivers raced over his body. His hips jerked and pumped as his hands slid and

grabbed, touching all the places he’d longed to, unable to process it as his body sang with

pleasure.

“Yeah, baby, just like that,” Josh coaxed, slithering down Nick’s body. He whimpered

first with the loss of Josh’s lips on his, then with ecstasy as sharp teeth raked over his nipple.

“Gahhh!” He meant to say something, some expression for, I didn’t know those things

had a purpose, but Josh bit a taut nub and heat radiated out to the tips of Nick’s toes. Nimble

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fingers plucked and pinched the other tit, and Nick howled, his balls boiling with the need to

come.

Josh huffed, his warm breath gusting over the wet nipple. “Like that, do ya?”

“God,” Nick said after gathering enough spat to talk, “you have no idea!”

Josh laughed outright and tweaked both nipples, sending dual streams of pleasure to

Nick’s cock. “Oh, I think I do.” He twisted the tips, causing a burning sensation to blossom in

each breast. “Bet I could make you come just from this.”

“Yeah,” Nick gasped, his balls pulling tight. “But I want to come with you in me.”

Josh left off tormenting his nipples with a smug grin. “You will.” He manoeuvred

around until he was kneeling between Nick’s spread thighs then twisted to reach for the

lube. Nick knew what he wanted to ask when Josh looked up at him.

“Yes, I’m still sure, now hurry up.”

* * * *

Josh wanted to ask again, but Nick looked certain, not a hint of fear in his dark eyes.

His thighs were quivering, but he didn’t seem to be struggling to keep them open. Maybe

that was pure need, then. God knows Josh felt all quivery inside, but he didn’t want to give

Nick any cause to doubt that he knew what he was doing. Josh had topped before, although

not often, but he’d bottomed enough to know how it felt when it was done right, knew what

he liked. Slicking his cock first then his fingers, he dropped soft kisses on the inside Nick’s

thighs, loving the prickly tickle of the man’s hair.

“Such a man,” Josh murmured, his heart swelling with too many emotions to name.

“So sexy.”

Nick squirmed, his cock bouncing as he wiggled his butt. “Are you ever gonna—oh!”

‘Oh’ was right. Nick’s pucker was tightly clenched, fluttering under Josh’s finger. He

rubbed the wrinkled skin, pressing with the pad of his finger, soothing, he hoped, some of

the fear that had to be pricking at Nick now.

Nick sighed and pushed his butt up, a silent plea for more that Josh had made often

enough to recognise. All right then, maybe the fear of penetration hadn’t permeated Nick’s

brain yet, but it would. Josh prodded the hole gently, unable to bite back a moan of approval

when his finger was sucked in to the first knuckle.

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Nick stilled for a moment, his chest heaving, his hands clenching the blanket. “Oh

God, that feels…it’s…Josh!”

Hoping that meant it felt good, Josh worked his finger in deeper, his dick throbbing

with each tight squeeze of Nick’s silky walls. That was going to feel so fucking glorious on

his cock, rippling and massaging him until Josh’s brain really did melt and spew from his

balls.

“More,” Nick grunted, pushing his ass against Josh’s hand.

Josh curved his finger instead and Nick screamed, his shoulders coming up off the

bed. Josh rubbed the gland again and Nick yelled again, his cock bouncing. Nick grabbed at

his rod, panting and squeezing until the rest of his length turned a dark purplish red.

“I don’t wanna,” Nick got out between pants. “Not yet.”

Josh pulled his finger out then pressed in with two, leaning in to lick Nick’s balls at

the same time.

“Stop!” Nick shouted, latching onto Josh’s hair.

Josh froze, two fingers halfway in Nick’s ass. He lifted his head when Nick tugged and

found himself smiling at Nick’s rueful expression.

“Like you told me, I’m gonna come if you keep touching me.”

Josh shook his head and wiggled his fingers. “I can’t get you ready if I don’t touch

you.”

Nick rolled his eyes and patted Josh’s head. “Just do what you have to down there and

leave the rest alone. I want to wait.”

Josh opened his mouth to ask if Nick was sure but snapped it shut when the older

man glared. “Got it. Straight to the fucking, then.” Which was fine with him, though he would

like some time to explore.

The third finger slid in easily by the time Josh dared to insert it. Nick moaned and

undulated, his balls drawn tight and his belly wet with pre-cum. The rhythmic clenching of

his inner muscles was driving Josh insane, and while he thought he should probably stretch

Nick more, he knew neither of them were going to last much longer. He withdrew his fingers

and Nick murmured a protest, reaching blindly for Josh’s wrist.

“Got something else for you,” Josh promised, pushing Nick’s legs back against his

broad chest. “Unless you don’t—”

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“Josh!” Nick’s eyes snapped open, searing Josh with the need in their depths. “Fuck.

Me. Now.”

“Bossy bottom,” Josh teased even as he shifted his knees under Nick’s ass. “Hold your

legs up, hands behind the knees.” He waited until Nick complied, then lined his cock up to

Nick’s stretched hole with a shaking hand. This didn’t feel like fucking; it felt like everything

in the entire world. Josh braced himself with one hand on the back of Nick’s thigh as he

slowly began pressing in. “Bear down, kind of—ohholyfuckinghell!” Josh didn’t push in so

much as his dick was sucked in, pulled and squeezed by those tight velvety walls his fingers

had teased. He didn’t stop until his balls were pressed against Nick’s ass. He held himself

still, sweat and goosebumps covering his skin.

Nick’s cheeks were tinted a ruddy colour, his lips parted and his eyes wide. Josh tried

to look for any signs of discomfort—there had to be some—but he couldn’t concentrate, not

with the hot vice clamping his dick, contracting around it, massaging it.

“God, Josh, do something,” Nick croaked, wiggling his hips. “You’re killing me!”

Josh’s heart plummeted. He jerked his head back and started to scramble off Nick.

“Shit, I’m sorry, I—”

Nick let go of his legs, wrapping them around Josh in an odd and uncomfortable

position. “No, sweetheart, move! Fuck me already,” he added when Josh still hesitated.

Josh nearly melted with relief. Might have, if he’d been able to move. “Legs,” he

pointed out. Nick grumbled but unwound them, hitching them back up close to his chest.

Josh withdrew slowly, watching Nick, noting the increase breath rate, the rapid pulse at his

neck, the widely dilated pupils, the flushed lips… How had he missed those signs of

pleasure? He let the rim of his cockhead tug at the inside Nick’s hole, pulling a low groan

from the man, then filled his ass back up in one long, slow stroke. Another withdraw and

thrust, and Josh knew he was going to shoot all too soon. He couldn’t resist the combination

of this one man’s body and soul, and he couldn’t take it slow much longer.

Pumping his hips a little harder was what they both needed. Josh let go his fear of

being inadequate as a top and began snapping his hips faster and with more force. Nick’s ass

clutched and clenched around Josh’s dick, driving him mad, dimming his vision as bright

dots danced behind his lids. He reached for Nick’s cock, needing to bring him off, and Nick

made a strangled sound that shot to Josh’s balls, drawing them up snug. His spine tingled

from end to end, warming him throughout with little bolts of pleasure that blossomed into

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sheer ecstasy. His hand jerked Nick’s shaft desperately; Josh was hovering, tipping

dangerously towards climax. Nick’s inner muscles clamped around Josh’s dick so tightly

with each thrust in he could hardly hold back.

“God, Nick, please,” Josh begged, opening his eyes to look at the man who held his

heart. Nick’s eyes widened then slammed shut as he screamed, hot cum spewing from his

dick, spraying Josh’s hand and the hard ridged muscles of Nick’s stomach. “Oh fuck,

fuckfuckfuck!” Josh howled, his cock squeezed so hard in the tight silky confines of Nick’s

contracting inner muscles that Josh couldn’t move, could only gasp and moan as his orgasm

was ripped from him. “Nick!” Josh dropped forward, catching himself on one hand as his

dick pulsed and pumped cum into the condom. “God!” He shuddered and clenched his ass,

trying to burrow deeper into Nick.

But even as he did and his climax peaked, Josh knew it was truly Nick who’d

burrowed into him. He only hoped he survived it the next time Nick walked away from him.

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Chapter Seventeen

“Are you okay?”

Nick blinked his eyes open only to find his vision was blurry, smattered with grey and

white spots. Even so, he could make out Josh’s concerned face as the younger man leaned

over him. Fearing Josh would pull his dick free and leave, Nick nodded and wrapped his

legs around Josh even as he pulled Josh’s head down for an intense kiss. At least, it felt

intense to Nick. If Josh’s reaction was anything to go by, he was very into it too. The thick

cock swelling back to full staff in Nick’s ass sure felt intense.

Wincing despite his best effort not to, Nick squirmed against the burn. Josh pulled

back from the kiss and cursed, his lids dropping shut as he stiffened his arms to lift his torso

from Nick’s.

“Shit, Nick, I’m sorry,” Josh said.

Nick could feel Josh trembled, his thighs and buttocks rippling with little tremors

under Nick’s hands. Josh groaned, low and rough, a sound torn from his gut as he

undulated. Nick squeaked as fire spread around his ring and quickly fanned up his rectum.

“This would have been easier if you hadn’t gotten me hard first,” Josh gritted out,

slowly pulling his hips back.

Nick flushed with pride knowing he turned his lover on with a kiss. Being naked

probably helped, too, but until he’d taken that kiss, Josh’s cock had been soft and sated inside

him.

“God,” Josh hissed, propping himself up on one hand while reaching down to grip the

base of his shaft with the other. “You feel so good…”

Despite the pain, Nick’s rod started to fill, sparks of pleasure zinging from his cock to

his balls. Even the slow withdrawal or the catching of the underside of Josh’s cockhead on

Nick’s rim didn’t cause him to soften any.

“I just wanna shove back in and fuck you til you scream,” Josh muttered, pausing

with his tip still inside.

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Nick felt a fissure of fear spreading up his spine as he struggled to speak. His body

wanted more, but it also wanted the pain to stop. “Uh, I don’t think I can do that again, at

least not yet,” he said with a tug on Josh’s hips.

Josh sighed shakily. “Yeah, I know, you gotta be sore.”

“I am,” Nick agreed, then bit his tongue to muffle the yelp threatening to burst free

when Josh pulled his dick free. “Fuck,” Nick whimpered.

“Sorry, sorry.” Josh flopped down beside him and fumbled with the condom,

removing it. “Need to ditch this.” He tied the rubber off and tossed it in the trash can beside

the bed before turning and finally looking at Nick with desire darkened eyes. He gaze flicked

down the length of Nick’s body before settling on Nick’s stiff cock. Nick could feel that look

and his cock bobbed as if begging for a touch. “You’re still hard,” Josh said with no small

amount of smugness. “Hmm.”

Any smart comment Nick might have made died on his tongue when Josh trailed the

tips of his fingers down his chest. Nick’s eyes were practically glued to those long, elegant

digits as they brushed over Josh’s smooth skin, lower to his ridged stomach, then further still

to dance across the cap of his leaking slit.

“Too sore to fuck me?”

Nick’s startled gaze jerked up to meet Josh’s teasing one.

“I could suck you off instead.” Josh’s hand was suddenly on Nick’s length, his nimble

fingers tracing over a vein. “But think about how it’d feel to slide into my hot, tight ass while

you could still feel me in yours.”

“Jesus,” Nick rasped, reaching for Josh’s cock. Smooth and hot, just the feel was

enough to make Nick clench his muscles against the need to come. “I want to do that.”

Josh’s lips twitched as he arched one dark brow. “Do what? What do you want to do

to me? I want to hear you say it. Give me the words.”

Nick wondered if Josh was afraid he’d regret it or try to claim Josh had coerced him.

Ridiculous, he scoffed in his head. Like he could ever not want anything Josh would give

him. It might have taken him a while, but Nick had finally gotten past his inhibitions. He’d

have thought letting Josh fuck him would have proved that.

Nick rolled over, pinning Josh’s smaller frame under him. He looked down into green

eyes widened by surprise. “I want you, want to be in you.” Want to make you mine. Need to

make you mine.

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Josh narrowed his eyes and gripped Nick’s biceps. “Then do it,” he said in a tone that

made it clear the words were a challenge.

Nick growled and dipped his head for another kiss, a brutal taking and claiming of

the younger man’s mouth. Josh moaned and arched his back, pressing against Nick’s chest.

The contact against his nipples fired Nick’s blood and he ground his groin against Josh’s. It

felt so good, holding Josh down with his greater weight, his fingers locked in the younger

man’s dark hair, his dick driving down against Josh’s.

“Please, Nick. Need you,” Josh panted between plucking kisses.

“You’ve got me,” Nick promised, knowing Josh didn’t understand just how true the

declaration was. “Let me get the stuff.”

Josh groaned and begged Nick to hurry. Nick half fell off the bed, catching himself

before his knees hit the floor. Josh gave him a heated smile that had Nick hurrying despite

the discomfort he experienced when he walked. He did wish he’d though to grab more than

one rubber in the first place, but he hadn’t and—he peeked over his shoulder, his heart

thudding like a sledgehammer in his chest at the vision Josh made, spread out, body bare of

hair, one hand loosely stroking his shaft. Damn it, but he’d walk a hundred miles for that.

Once he found the condoms, and making sure to grab the box instead of a package or

two, Nick came back to the bed and realised there might be a problem.

“What’s wrong?” Josh asked in a lust-slurred voice.

Nick glanced at the bed, the floor, the nightstand. “Where the hell’d the lube go?”

Snickering, Josh wiggled his hips, making that thick cock bounce. “I think I’m laying

on it. Something’s stabbing my ass and it sure isn’t your dick.”

Nick scowled and gestured for Josh to roll over. “My dick’s a lot bigger than that little

tube.”

“Well yeah, that was kinda my point.” Josh waggled his eyebrows but didn’t move.

“Quit glowering and come over here and get it if you want in it.”

Oh ho, the boy wanted to play? Nick was delighted and intimidated all at once. He

hadn’t ever joked around with a lover before. Josh’s crooked grin widened as he slapped at

his hip.

“I’ll give you a hint, it’s somewhere under here.”

Nick’s heart swelled with so much love he thought he’d burst from it. For whatever

reason, this one man made him feel things no one else ever had, and Nick wouldn’t fight it.

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He’d caused them both too much pain because of his stubborn pride. Once he’d had Josh,

Nick would make sure the younger man understood Nick wasn’t letting him go again. But

for now…

“Hey!” Josh squealed, nearly kneeing Nick in the face as he dove onto the bed. He

landed straddling Josh’s legs and shoved both hands under the man’s ass before Josh could

stop him.

“Nice,” Nick said, taking his time to feel Josh’s smooth skin. His gaze was drawn to

the hairless groin and he frowned as he tried to figure out how to ask what he wanted to

without seeming presumptuous.

“You don’t like it?”

Nick looked up at Josh’s quiet question. The younger man was frowning, his eyes

almost shut in that way he had of trying to hide. Nick could only guess that it was insecurity

he heard in Josh’s voice. He could read nothing in Josh’s blank expression.

“I think it’s sexy,” Nick answered, watching Josh as closely as he was watching his

words. “If you like it, then do it. I happen to think you’re sexy like you were when I touched

you in your apartment.” He wasn’t surprised when Josh stiffened at the reminder of that

shitty day, but Nick wasn’t going to let the man withdraw. “I just didn’t know if you’d rather

I—shave?—like that, too. I would, if that’s what you like. Probably cut one of my nuts off,

but I’d still do it.”

Josh’s eyes shot open, no more hiding. Nick was thrilled. “No, no don’t do that! I like

all your hair!”

“Whatever you want,” Nick murmured, trying not to sound as relieved as he felt.

“Same goes for you, though. You do what you want about this.” Nick pulled one hand out

from beneath Josh’s ass and stroked the smooth groin. If forced, he’d admit he loved the

satiny skin, but he knew he’d love pulling at the dark strands that would grow back in, too.

Josh propped himself up on his elbows and glared at his bare groin. “My exes all

preferred me like this.”

And that was reason enough for Nick not to. He almost said as much, but he didn’t

want to be another man telling Josh what to do with his body. “But what do you like?”

Cheeks pinking slightly, Josh reached under his butt and shoved at Nick’s hand. “I’d

like you to fuck me sometime very soon,” he said as he pulled the lube from under his hip.

“Very soon means within the next minute or less, by the way.”

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“I can do that.” Nick tore open the condom package and covered his cock. Josh poured

a dollop of lube in Nick’s hand before reaching down to coat his hole. Nick got his first look

at that part of Josh and something short circuited in his brain. “Lemme.”

Josh slapped away the hand Nick offered. “No way. I’ll come. Next time, okay?”

Nick didn’t know if Josh was even aware that he’d just promised there’d be more than

tonight between them, but Nick was. It thrilled him to hear such things slipping from Josh’s

lips. Josh pulled his hand from between his legs and wiped it on the sheet. Nick stared down

at that tiny little hole. It looked pink and wrinkly and as small as it did in the first place.

“Josh, is it supposed to look like a closed camera shutter?” Nick dipped his head

down for a closer look. “I don’t think I could get a toothpick up here even.”

Josh snorted and that tight pucker winked. Nick’s cock leapt with the promise of

something tight and hot and silky encapsulating it. “It’ll fit. I don’t want to be stretched first.

I… I really like the stretch and burn but—” Josh pointed at Nick’s cock. “Go slow with that

thing. I like the burn not a sudden surge of agony—wait!”

Nick hadn’t done anything other than stare and doubt, so waiting wasn’t problematic,

especially not after the fear of causing Josh agony had been implanted in Nick’s mind.

“You can fuck me harder and faster like this,” Josh said, rolling to his stomach and

tucking his knees under him. He lowered his shoulders to the mattress and pillowed his head

with his forearms. “Have at me, stud.”

“How can such a cheesy line put me a stroke from coming?” Nick watched the

opening as he scooted closer, his hands drawn to the taut ass cheeks.

“You are a stud, so it isn’t cheesy.” Josh wriggled his butt temptingly.

Nick parted Josh’s cheeks with both hands and felt such a strong desire to lick down

the man’s crease, but surely that was twisted? Nick wasn’t going to risk scaring Josh off by

doing such a thing. Really? Lick another man’s ass? Nick shut down that train of thought.

His internal scoffing was failing miserably; he wanted to lick every part of Josh, including

that wrinkled swirl of skin. Especially that wrinkled swirl of skin.

“Nick, come on, please,” Josh begged, pushing his butt out and up.

“I’ve got you,” Nick murmured, daring to kiss a taut globe. Nothing horrible

happened, Josh didn’t scream and call him a pervert, so Nick tried it again, humming his

approval as soon as Josh’s flavour hit his tongue. Nick didn’t tarry any longer than that, not

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with the desperate whimpering sounds Josh was making. Nick lined his tip up with Josh’s

hole and slowly began pressing in, watching Josh closely.

Josh opened the one eye Nick could see, pinning him with that gaze. “Sometimes I like

the pain. Not the heavy duty canes and whips, but the softer pain given by a lover which

actually heightens the pleasure.”

Kind of like how Nick had loved having his nipples twisted and bitten so hard he

thought the little nubs might come off. “I understand.” He canted his hips and sank in

deeper, faster. Josh huffed and squirmed, asking for more nownownownow, but Nick wasn’t

in a hurry—yet. All those rippling, warm muscles in Josh’s ass were massaging Nick’s cock

and it felt wonderful, mind boggling.

“Aw, God, baby,” Josh said, trying to rock back on Nick’s cock. Nick gripped the

younger man’s hips firmly and held him still.

“You’re getting what you want, but at my speed.”

Josh grumbled some agreement which was quickly buried by a shout when Nick’s

cockhead rubbed over Josh’s prostate. Josh’s inner muscles convulsed even tighter and Nick

soon found himself buried balls deep in the younger man.

“So beautiful.”

“Nick…”

Inexperienced as he was, the contractions around his dick set Nick’s body into motion.

He pulled out slowly and thrust back in the same. Josh squirmed and bounced and

demanded more, but Nick wanted this to last. He kept the slow pace going until Josh

threatened to reach down and rip his balls off. Nick snickered and began speeding up until

he was pummelling Josh’s ass.

Josh howled and cursed, begged, demanded—then praised when he began getting

fucked long and hard. “God, baby, just like that, fuck me hard, make me feel you—”

Nick hooked his arms around Josh’s waist and pulled him upright. He stabbed his

dick in and out in rapid, full thrusts as Josh ground back against him. “Look at you,” Nick

crooned, reaching for Josh’s cock. He fisted the length and pumped it in time with his

thrusts, marvelling at the way Josh moved, moaned, clenched his ass around Nick’s dick.

“Josh…” Nick gasped, his hand faltering as his climax slammed into him, no warning tingles

or dimming vision, just a sudden explosion of ecstasy that hit him in every cell at once. Nick

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shouted as the first spurt of cum was wrenched from his dick, his balls sucking up to his

body in a snap and pouring hot seed into the condom.

Josh fisted his hand over Nick’s and pumped it twice. He flung his head back onto

Nick’s shoulder, gasping and shuddering as spunk sprayed onto their hands. Hi inner

muscles squeezed Nick so tightly his yell was strangled, the breath shoved from his lungs.

He clung to Josh, his body as depleted as his balls, his arms clasping the smaller man to him.

His brain was fuzzy, his tongue thick but loose, letting the words that needed to be said more

than any others slip past easily.

“I love you.”

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Chapter Eighteen

God, he was an idiot! Josh sat slumped in the more stable of the two plastic chairs. His

elbows kept sticking to the tacky surface of the tiny table, but he figured that might be a good

thing. He doubted he had enough strength left to hold his arms up so he could prop his chin

on his hands. How could he when Nick had fried all of his synapses with those three little

words?

And what the fuck did I do? Did I say it back or…or even acknowledge it? Well, if going

slack-jawed and having his eyes bug out could be counted as acknowledgement, then, check!

That’s all Josh had managed to do as Nick stared down at him, those gorgeous dark eyes

simmering with all kinds of emotions Josh was afraid to guess at. Although by the time his

silence had run on for too long, the only emotion left in Nick’s eyes had been humiliation.

Before Josh had been able to recover from the fucking of his life, Nick had murmured those

words. It wasn’t fair to do that when Josh couldn’t think, for shit’s sake. Geez, he’d barely

been able to breathe, Nick had ploughed him so thoroughly.

His body had been flying in a post-orgasmic high, the little cells in his bloodstream

singing and zinging with joy—then Nick had dropped the ‘I love you’ bomb and Josh had

been so shocked he couldn’t process it. Josh’s first thought was that it was one of those after-

sex-things people said because they’d come so hard they went stupid with it. Honestly,

though, it had thrilled him for a second until he realised Nick couldn’t mean it.

It wasn’t until right after Nick laughed bitterly and got off Josh like he was on fire that

Josh realised yes, Nick could have meant it.

The bathroom door opened and Josh nearly leapt from his skin. He became aware of

Nick’s eyes on him in a heartbeat, Josh’s ruddy skin warming as the scent of soap wafted into

the room.

“It’s—” Nick snorted, drawing Josh’s gaze up to lock with the older man’s. “Well, it’s

not okay, exactly, but I understand.”

“Understand what?” Josh asked, feeling almost as vapid as he had right after Nick

fucked him. Hard to think when Nick was rubbing a towel over his broad furry chest, and

the towel knotted at his hip kept slipping down with each swipe.

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“I understand why you don’t believe that I love you,” Nick said, “But I do—love you,

that is, and I’ll keep saying it until you believe me.” Nick offered up a smile full of promise as

he turned away to begin scooping his clothes off the floor.

Josh’s mouth watered as he watched the plump globes of Nick’s ass bounced under

the towel. He’d love to run his tongue over every inch of Nick’s butt, and those divots at the

small of Nick’s back? They just begged to be licked.

“Are you staring at my ass?” Nick asked, wigging the body part in question.

“Yeah.” It was a wonderful distraction.

Nick’s soft laughter warmed Josh through to his soul. The older man turned and sat

on the edge of the bed, looking at Josh. “I was afraid you’d leave while I showered,” Nick

confessed. “But I thought I should give you some time after blurting out that I love you. I’ve

wanted to tell you for so long now—another reason I didn’t trust myself to return any of

your messages. I wish I’d have just told you weeks ago. I shouldn’t have been such a coward.

You really do deserve better.”

Josh shook his head, his gaze on Nick’s. The man wasn’t a coward; he’d been more

honest than Josh had the nerve to be. What was he so afraid of? Saying the words wouldn’t

make them any more or less true. If Nick chose to stay in Montana and pretend he was

something—someone—he wasn’t, Josh would still love him.

“Why did you come here?”

Josh opened eyes he hadn’t realised he’d closed. He looked at Nick and tensed,

preparing to throw himself over the edge into an abyss that could well consume him. Josh

stood and strode on shaky legs over to his lover, then dropped onto his knees in front of the

older man. Nick’s eyes widened and his mouth opened on a questioning sound. Josh blindly

reached for Nick’s hands, unwilling and unable to look away from those eyes which seemed

to see right into his soul. How could Nick not know, when it felt to Josh as if it were branded

onto his skin.

“I couldn’t let you go,” Josh scraped out, twining his fingers with Nick’s. “I had to try,

to see if—” How the hell had Nick managed it with such ease? Josh’s heart was slamming

against his ribs and his mind was shying away from the words with a near panicked frenzy.

Because, he realised, the man before him had the power to break him. Steeling himself,

rationalising that Nick wouldn’t reject him, not after the older man had made his own

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confession, didn’t seem to be helping. Josh opened his mouth only to snap it shut again. Nick

frowned then leant forward to brush his lips over Josh’s.

“I screwed up too bad,” Nick began, his voice so soft yet fragile in a way that ripped at

Josh’s heart.

“No,” Josh blurted out, unable to bear the way the other man was hurting. “No, I’m

just terrified, but I do, I love you, I—”

Nick shuddered, his eyes narrowing to thin slits as his hands squeezed Josh’s

uncomfortably hard. “That’s all I need, Josh. That’s all I need.” Then Nick jerked him close

and crushed his lips to Josh’s, demanding entry with a sweep of his tongue.

Josh moaned and opened, dimly aware that his hands were now free. He reached for

any part of the man to grab onto, an anchor in this world that had narrowed down to three

words and a scorching kiss. His hands lighted on Nick’s chest, his fingers curling into the

swell of Nick’s pecs and the dense hair covering them.

“This is what matters most,” Nick murmured, brushing the words over Josh’s lips.

“Not my pride, not a ranch left to me by the most hateful man I’ve ever known, not my

mother’s plans and schemes and expectations. Just you, loving you. Can you have enough

faith in me to trust me to come back to you?”

Josh wanted to say fuck it and stay here, not let Nick out of his sight in case the man

needed him—or in case he changed his mind. But the way Nick was looking at him, hope,

love, need all clear in his expression—how could Josh doubt the man? He wouldn’t.

Josh nodded once then tenderly kissed the older man. “If you’re not coming back with

me when I leave tomorrow, then you’d better come back to me soon. We have a lot of lost

time to make up for.”

Nick’s smile was so joyous Josh could only smile back like some sappy lovestruck

fool—which he knew he was. Nick pulled him up to his feet then wrapped his arms around

Josh’s waist and dragged him down to the bed. “I promise, I won’t be any longer than I have

to be.” He reached down and cupped Josh’s hardening cock, leering in a way Josh

wholeheartedly approved of. “Now, about making up for lost time…”

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Chapter Nineteen

Nothing had ever felt as wrong as watching Josh wave goodbye before boarding the

plane. Nick’s nerve endings kept flitting hot and cold, his muscles clenched against the need

to run after Josh and grab him. Yeah, that’d go over great with airport security. Besides, he

knew Josh had a life to get back to. Hopefully his lover would make a place for him in it.

My lover. Those two words didn’t seem enough to describe what Josh was to him, yet

they thrilled him to his core. He hadn’t known he was capable of feeling so much, but Josh

brought out a myriad of emotions that made Nick’s future—their future—full of so much

hope and love, Nick’s perception of the world had been altered. The cynicism that had been

an almost depressing voice in his head had been almost completely silenced, and for the first

time in his life, Nick felt as if he had a purpose. He wasn’t just a means to an end for his

mother, a way for her to hold on to a man who even in death meant everything to her. It was

well past time to start living for himself, and as Nick watched the plane taxi down the

runway, he knew that regardless of what happened to him and Josh in the future, he’d been

forever altered by his love for this one man.

He would, however, do everything in his power to make sure his future and Josh’s

were entwined for the rest of their lives. Nick hadn’t believed in happy endings before, but

he did now, and he wanted his with Josh. And he would have it.

Nick left the airport, his resolve only strengthening the closer he got to the Mossy

Glenn. There’d be a fight as soon as he pulled up, he knew. He hadn’t been back since he’d

chased Josh down, and the phone calls from his mother had been numerous. Nick had

simply switched off his cell, only turning it on to check in with his foreman, Carlos,

something he should do again before the shit hit the fan.

Powering on the cell phone, Nick tried to organise his thoughts but failed. He knew

the coming confrontation would most likely be the end of his relationship with his mother,

but he couldn’t imagine it. His phone beeped, the home screen showing he had voice mail.

Nick didn’t bother checking any of them, instead dialling Carlos’s number.

Carlos’s deep accented voice came over the line after the first ring. “Morning Boss.

Your mama is fit to be tied.”

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Nick snorted and shoved down the trickle of dread teasing at his spine. “I bet. I’m on

my way back, but…” How much should he say? Carlos seemed trustworthy, always

following Nick’s orders rather than his mother’s when she tried to interfere, but he didn’t

really know the man. Nick decided to exercise caution. No doubt everyone at the ranch

would find out what happened after he left anyway. “I’m on my way back now. You might

want to keep everyone out in the pastures or whatever, because it’s gonna get ugly.”

Carlos grunted. “How bad? You want me to maybe stay close?”

Nick frowned, trying to figure out why the man would think that necessary. “I’m not

gonna hurt her, Carlos. I know you don’t know me well, but I’m not that kind of asshole.”

“Nah,” Carlos said after chuckling, “It’s more your hide I’m worried about. Your

mama may be little, but she,” Carlos cursed then sighed noisily, the sound nearly rattling

Nick’s eardrum. “Look, maybe I’m wrong here, maybe you’ll fire me, but I think you’re

leaving anyway, right?”

“Why would you think that?” Nick asked, a little startled at his foreman’s

perceptiveness.

“You been gone for days, and you weren’t happy here, and you’re mama…” Carlos

muttered something Nick couldn’t understand. “She’s hell bent to go after you. I don’t know

if she’s, uh, violent, when she gets this way.”

Nick didn’t know either since he usually gave in and let the woman have her way, but

he wasn’t worried about her hurting him. Physically, at least.

“She won’t do anything other than rant and yell and disown me. Just keep everyone

far enough away they won’t hear the shouting and bad names she’s likely to hurl.”

“Ahh. You are leaving, right?”

“Why does it matter?” It wasn’t as if he was close to anyone at the Mossy Glenn.

Carlos didn’t answer and Nick thought the call was dropped before the man finally

gave another noisy sigh. “’Cause I don’t particularly want to work for your mama, Nick. She

isn’t a pleasant woman, excuse me for saying so.”

No shit. “Yeah, well she’s about to get even more unpleasant. I’ll be there in about half

an hour.”

“I’ll clear out everyone except your mama and me.”

Nick didn’t understand the man’s concern, and he didn’t feel like trying to parse out

the cause. “Carlos, I told you—”

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Carlos laughed softly as Nick sputtered. “I know you did, but what you gonna do?

Fire me? Nah, I won’t be right there, but I will be close by, just in case.”

Nick agreed because it wasn’t worth arguing about, not when he was going to be

leaving the ranch behind. Worrying about what Carlos might overhear wasn’t a priority.

Getting back to Josh was.

* * * *

Josh closed his eyes and leaned his head back. Flying wasn’t his favourite thing, but

any fear he might have normally felt was trampled by the fear that leaving Nick behind

might backfire on him. He believed Nick loved him, but did he love him enough? Nick would

be giving up everything for Josh, and that, too, caused more than a little fear. What if he

wasn’t enough for Nick? Or what if they didn’t work out? Josh was the first man Nick had

been with; what if one day Nick wanted to sample a few other men, see what the world had

to offer? That’d be the only way they would end. Josh knew his heart was firmly in Nick’s

hands. Now he needed to find the strength to believe in Nick, because fears such as the ones

he was entertaining could eat away at any trust between them.

Josh wished he could talk to Annabelle, but truthfully, he wasn’t comfortable doing

so, not yet. She hadn’t properly met Nick, hadn’t got to know the man inside that Josh had

come to love. Her opinion on the whole thing might be skewered by her loyalty to him. Josh

didn’t blame her for it. Annabelle’s loyalty was one of the things he loved about her.

He shifted in his seat, trying to get comfortable. His arm was bumped off the armrest

and he opened his eyes to look at the person in the seat beside him. A man he could only

describe as mountainous stared back, his bald head shiny on top and one auburn eyebrow

cocked up belligerently. Josh noted the tight smile the man gave him and decided the arm

rest wasn’t worth the battle. He closed his eyes and turned his head away, determined to use

the rest of the flight to work on his doubts and fears.

It wasn’t long until he concluded that, while understandable, his fears were likely

unfounded. Nick was giving up everything just to be with him. That wasn’t something

someone who wasn’t fully committed to him would do. He needed to get over the past hurts

and concentrate on the future. Nick would need a job. Josh couldn’t imagine the man

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lounging around all day watching Jersey Shore. Maybe he could ask Justin to check around

and—

“Whu…” Josh’s eyes shot open and about bugged out of his head as fingers traced up

the inside seam of his jeans from right above his knee, unhesitatingly headed for his cock.

“Hey!” He swatted at the hand, the really really big hand, then glared at the owner when the

man didn’t take his hand away.

“You’re really cute,” the bald man said, leaning close to whisper the words against

Josh’s ear. “And I know you’re gay, haven’t been wrong yet—”

“Well you’re wrong now, asshole,” Josh sniped, grabbing the man’s hand with both of

his.

The man looked so shocked Josh nearly laughed. He frowned, his brows drawing

together to meet above his nose. “You’re not gay?” Intense green eyes clashed with Josh’s.

“I am,” Josh hissed, finally dislodging the man’s hand. “That doesn’t mean I’m

interested.” He slapped the man’s hand hard, temper piqued enough that he wasn’t able to

be afraid of retaliation. “Go grope a flight attendant. Maybe then your freakishly huge ass

will land up in jail. Pretty sure you can find someone to fuck there.”

The other passenger looked dumbfounded for a second before he burst out laughing

loud enough to have half the people on board turning to watch them. “I’d rather have you,

but I can take a hint.” He folded his hands together and fluttered long lashes at Josh. “See?

I’ll keep ‘em to myself the rest of the flight, unless…”

“Don’t even think about it.” Josh tried to keep glaring, but the bigger man’s lips

twitched and his eyes danced with amusement that Josh suspected at his expense. “Were you

really coming on to me?”

The man shrugged then winked. “Maybe, maybe not. Maybe I just got tired of all the

heartfelt sighing and mooning you’ve been doing. I couldn’t decide whether I should be

depressed or envious. So,” he tipped his square chin at Josh and gave him a calculating look.

“Which is it? Heartbreak or true love? C’mon, you can tell me. It’s doubtful you’ll ever see

me again.”

Josh considered it for a moment. “Why not? Maybe you’re smarter than you look and

you can contribute something useful.”

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“Oh I doubt that,” the man said after another outburst of laughter, “but maybe I can

relax and enjoy the flight once you chill out. I’m telling you, you’re giving off some seriously

stressful vibes, man.”

“Geez, I would get seated beside a gropey hippy,” Josh muttered, only now noticing

the tie dyed shirt with the big peace symbol in the middle of it.

“I prefer new age guru. Now talk and let Guru Jack help guide your life.”

God, this was the weirdest flight of his life—but, Josh had to admit by the time the

plane stopped for his first layover, he did feel a lot better about his relationship with Nick.

He waved bye to his weird friend and headed to his terminal, eager for the next stage in his

relationship with Nick to begin. Maybe there was something to Guru Jack after all.

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Chapter Twenty

As Nick pulled into the dirt driveway leading to the house he couldn’t quite keep back

a shudder. He’d spent most of his life following whatever dictates his mother laid before

him. It seemed eerily symbolic now to be on a path leading straight to her and the place that

symbolised, to her, the culmination of all her dreams. To Nick it was a burden, a hateful one

at that. Ian Calhoun hadn’t given a shit about him, had only left him the ranch as a way to

hurt Rory and Annabelle. Guilt he hadn’t known he bore pricked at him. Whether his half

siblings ended up liking him or not, Nick didn’t want to be a pawn in Calhoun’s game

anymore.

The two story white house stood out vividly against the bright blue sky. Black

shudders framed the numerous windows and the wide porch had several chairs scattered on

it giving the place a homey look. But it wasn’t home, and looks were often deceptive. Except

for Josh’s. Nick couldn’t help but smile, picturing his dark-haired loved in his mind. Josh

looked like a sweet, happy young man—until his bright eyes darkened with need and those

full lips parted or kicked up in a sultry grin. Either way, now that Nick knew what to look

for, it was easy to read Josh’s emotions in his expressive face. Josh was, he knew, the most

honest and decent person he’d met, and Nick hoped to be more like him, or at least be a

better man, one who might someday be good enough for Josh.

The screen door opened and Carlos stepped outside as Nick neared the house. Even

from here, Nick could see the way the other man’s lips were thinned, his body tensed. Nick

parked the truck right beside the porch, something else his mother would bitch at him for.

She didn’t like vehicles too close to the house, saying it made the place look trashy and it tore

up the yard. Well, maybe it did, but Nick wasn’t going to make himself walk any further

than necessary. He’d prefer to leave quickly, and the short walk wouldn’t give his mother as

much time to yell at him once he told her he was done with the ranch.

Carlos met him as soon as Nick got out of the truck. His grey eyes flicked a worried

glance at Nick and a frown furrowed his brow. “She’s waiting in the kitchen. Lots of sharp

objects in there.”

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Nick started to pop off some sarcastic comment until he realised Carlos was really

concerned about Antonia becoming violent. He gripped his foreman’s shoulder and shook

his head. “She won’t do anything other than yell and tell me what a horrible son I am. It’s

nothing I haven’t heard before.” Although this time, it’d be worse. He wasn’t going to cave in

to her demands like he almost always did, so the yelling, on her part, would undoubtedly

include more than a few Spanish curse words. Antonia wouldn’t curse in English, but when

she was angry enough, the woman could let fly some Spanish slurs that would curl your

toes.

Carlos didn’t look convinced as he turned to walk beside Nick up to the house. “I

don’t know, I’ve never seen her like this. She completely went ballistic when you didn’t come

home the first night. I never heard someone who looks so sweet and delicate say stuff like

she did.” Carlos glanced at him then shrugged. “Well, if you’re really leaving, then I’m not

going to worry about you firing me. I won’t stay here with that woman. She isn’t right in the

head, and she’s got more hate and anger in that little body than I’d have ever thought

possible.”

Nick would have defended her out of habit but something stopped him. Maybe it was

knowing he was walking away that did it, or maybe it was finally getting a glimpse of what

it was like to have someone love him. Either way, he couldn’t bring himself to tell Carlos to

back off. The man was one of the few friends Nick had besides Adam.

Shit! He needed to let Adam know what was going on—and he wanted to thank him,

because Adam had pushed when Nick needed it and backed off when he didn’t. Nick would

take care of that after dealing with his mother. Maybe he’d even see if Adam wanted to meet

up for lunch or something.

Carlos stopped him when they reached the screen door. The foreman gripped Nick’s

forearm and tipped his chin towards the interior of the house. “Are you sure about this? You

could still make it right with her, maybe. Or you could just turn around and leave.”

Nick shook his head. “I never wanted this place. I wanted a father that gave a shit

about me, not one that would use me to hurt his other kids. This is Mama’s dream, not mine,

and she can have it. Maybe it’ll finally make her happy.”

Carlos snorted and pulled the door open. “Nothing will make that woman happy.”

Nick had a feeling the other man was right. He stepped into the house and

immediately felt his mother’s anger like a thickening in the air. It was a familiar feeling, one

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that used to make him cringe as a kid when he’d come home from school. He always knew

when he was in trouble.

Straightening his shoulders, Nick headed towards the kitchen with Carlos at his heels.

“I’ll just wait right here,” Carlos said, leaning against the wall by the kitchen door.

“Just in case.”

Nick nodded and pushed the door open, his gaze immediately pulled to his mother’s

where she sat at the kitchen table. Despite the anger rolling off her in waves, she was

immaculately groomed, her greying hair pulled up into a tight knot on her head and her

dress some pale pink confection that practically screamed money.

“Mama,” Nick began only to have the rest of his words dry up with the cutting look

she gave him.

“You are just like him, running off to lay with some puta,” she accused. “Forgetting

about your responsibilities and choosing to give in to sins of the flesh!”

Nick stared at her as anger seeped into his veins. “And you’d know about that,

wouldn’t you? Since you did the same with Ian Calhoun.” Even once he was married. Nick

wasn’t quite brave enough, or angry enough, to say that out loud.

Antonia’s eyes narrowed as she pointed at him. “It wasn’t the same. Ian and I were

married in the eyes of God. I gave him my innocence—”

Nick’s temper spiked as he slashed his hand through the air. “I’ve heard it before. It

doesn’t make any more sense now than it did the first dozen times you pelted me with it.”

Nick took a step closer and studied his mother closely, knowing he’d likely not see her again.

Her petite form belied the strength inside, even if it was a misguided strength. Nothing he

said would sway her, he knew that, and it hurt, knowing she didn’t love him. He was just a

tool to her, and nothing he ever did would change that. His anger drained away leaving

behind the hollow ache of loss. Stupid to mourn something I’ve never had. “I’m leaving. I’ll talk

to the lawyer, have him put this place in your name. It’s what you’ve always wanted

anyway.”

“What kind of son are you, to leave your mama alone like this?” Antonia stood

slowly, a tiny, dangerous predator stalking her prey. “I raised you better than those hijos de

puta—”

“Stop it,” Nick snapped, slapping one hand down onto the table. “Rory and Annabelle

aren’t the bastards here. I am! I am the one without the Calhoun name, the one who wasn’t

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wanted until I became a handy tool for hurting Calhoun’s legitimate children! And if I’m the

bastard, that makes you—” Nick bit back ‘the whore’, but not fast enough. Antonia rounded

the table and he didn’t try to stop her when she raised her hand and slapped him hard

enough to make him stumble. The coppery taste of blood trickled onto his tongue from his

cheek being torn by his teeth, but Nick ignored it as he caught his mother’s hand the second

time she raised it to hit him.

“You get one,” Nick ground out, clamping her wrist tightly as she pulled against his

hold. “Not because what I said isn’t true, but because I was stupid enough to waste my

breath saying it.” He stared down into eyes as dark as his own, his stomach twisting at the

hatred burning in their depths. Had she ever loved him? Nick didn’t know, and he supposed

it didn’t matter in the end. “You want this place, you can have it. I wish it would make you

happy, but I don’t think anything can do that.” He released her arm and took a step back. “I

know I can’t; I’ve spent all my life trying to make you proud of me, make you happy, and I’m

done.”

Antonia sneered and took a step forward. Nick watched her hands warily. For a small

woman, she packed a punch. “Is she worth it, this puta you’re leaving for? How stupid are

you, to think a woman would want you—”

Nick shook his head, knowing the words tickling his throat would severe any

remaining ties between them. He started to turn away only to find his wrist caught in his

mother’s fierce grip.

“You ungrateful pendejo,” Antonia screeched as he faced her. Her other hand cracked

across his cheek, catching the corner of his mouth. “You stupid, ungrateful—”

“That’s enough!” Carlos barrelled through the door and wrapped his arms around

Antonia. “Woman, you need some serious help.” He lifted Antonia and jerked her back,

forcing her to release Nick’s wrist.

Nick dabbed at the blood welling on his lower lip as he looked at his mother. “It’d be

a waste of time and effort. She’s exactly what she wants to be.” He saw that clearly now.

Nothing he could have done would have made a difference. Antonia played the role she

wanted to, and anything that threatened that would be cut from her life, her reality.

“I’ll call and see when the lawyer can draw up whatever papers he needs to,” Nick

finally said when his mother seemed unwilling to speak.

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“You could press charges,” Carlos offered, which did get a reaction from Antonia.

Carlos grunted when she began fighting, gouging him with bony elbows and kicking his

shins with even pointier heels.

“It’s not worth it,” Nick said, wiping again at his lip. “Once I leave here, I don’t ever

want to come back.” He flicked a glance to his foreman and hoped Carlos still had a sure grip

on Antonia. Carlos seemed to know what he was asking and nodding, his arms tightening

until Antonia huffed out a loud breath. “I have a good man waiting for me back in Texas.”

Nick turned and walked out, Antonia’s shrieked curses following him all the way to

his truck. Fuck his stuff. There was nothing he wanted badly enough to put up with any

more of his mother’s insults and abuse. The only thing he wanted, needed, was Josh, and the

sooner Nick got the ranch transferred into his mother’s name, the sooner he could join his

lover.

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Chapter Twenty-One

Nick walked into Stratton and Associates, eagerness and dread warring for

precedence inside him. This was it, the last thing standing between him and freedom. He was

coming to pick up his copies of the papers transferring the ranch into Antonia’s name. James

Stratton, his attorney, had tried to talk Nick out of it, arguing against it until Nick had

threatened to fire him and find another lawyer. Then Nick had felt like an ass and had

blurted out the basic reasons for the transfer, including his sexuality and his desire to be with

Josh. It was getting surprisingly easy to admit he was gay, or at least that he was gay for Josh.

Nick was proud of his lover and discovering a romantic side to himself he’d never known

existed. If he could, he’d shout his love from the rooftops and write it in the sky. He was, he

decided, turning into a sappy fool, but he didn’t particularly care.

The elevator stopped with a slight jerk that made Nick’s stomach dip and his hand

tighten on the railing then the doors opened with a soft hiss. Stratton and Associates was

right down the hall and Nick was pleasantly surprised when the pert receptionist smiled

then ushered him straight into James Stratton’s office. The red headed attorney sat behind his

desk but quickly stood and came around to shake Nick’s hand. For some reason, the red hair

and freckles seemed out of place on a man Stratton’s size. He was bigger than Nick, broader

and taller both, his body definitely that of a strong man while his face seemed to belong to a

round faced teen. It was a disarming incongruity that Nick thought must keep people off

balance around the attorney.

Stratton smiled and thumped Nick’s back once they’d shook hands. “You look like

you’re ready to head to Texas.”

“I am.” More than ready; this past week had been hell. If Nick had his way, he and

Josh wouldn’t ever spend another night away from each other. “I take it you’re done trying

to talk me out of it.”

“I wouldn’t ever stand in the way of love,” Stratton said with a laugh, moving to pick

up a stack of papers on his desk. “That would earn me a Karmic kick in the ass for sure.”

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Nick blinked at the serious tone in the attorney’s voice. He’d not have taken the man

to believe in Karma, but what did he know about Stratton? One of these days, Nick would

learn to stop forming preconceived ideas about people.

Stratton offered the papers to Nick. “Not to mention, I met your mother.” He

shuddered, hissing as he did so. Nick wasn’t sure the guy was acting. “I can understand you

wanting to get away from her. Do you want to look these over?”

Nick knew he should so he did, but he resented the few minutes it took to do so. He

wanted to get on the road; if he could drive straight through, he could be with Josh in under

thirty hours. After flicking through the documents, Nick nodded and handed them back to

Stratton. “Looks good to me.”

Stratton’s blue eyes sparkled as he chuckled. “I bet I could have handed you a stack of

blank papers for all the attention you paid to these.” He waved the papers in the air before

twisting around and picking up a large manila envelope. He fitted the documents inside then

closed the flap. “Also…” Stratton grabbed a second similarly sized envelope before turning

back to Nick. This time there wasn’t a trace of the boy in the man’s face. “Your mother left

this with my assistant after signing the papers. I don’t know what’s in it, but Ms. Clawson—

my assistant—was ordered to see to it this got to you.”

Nick took the ranch documents first, trepidation skittering over his skin as he stared at

the second envelope. He wouldn’t put it past his mother to have filled the thing with

religious fliers and brochures on conversion camps. What he found in the envelope hit him

with the emotional equivalent of a Mack truck.

“Hey, are you okay?”

Nick was dimly aware of Stratton’s hand on his shoulder, urging him to sit in the chair

in front of the attorney’s desk. “I don’t… I didn’t think they’d really bothered…” Nick stared

down at the unopened white envelopes, stunned at his mother’s duplicity even as he was

grateful she hadn’t opened the letters from Rory and Annabelle. At least she’d afforded him

that right, although in truth, she probably just didn’t give enough of a shit to read the letters.

Then again, she had saved them, so what did that mean? Nick shook his head. Understanding

Antonia would never be possible, and there wasn’t any point in trying.

His vision blurred as he held one letter out, trying to read the postmarked date on it.

“They’re letters, from Annabelle and Rory. Josh mentioned it, but I didn’t get them so I

thought…” Thought what? That his lover had lied? Or that Rory and Annabelle had lied? In

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truth, Nick hadn’t pinned blame to anyone, had simply forgotten about it because he hadn’t

received any letters and that had caused a dull throb in his heart. Now his heart thudded

increasingly faster as he finally made out the date. Less than a week ago, and…Nick flinched,

thinking he’d definitely open this one last. Chance Gallagher’s name was written at the top

left, each letter a bold stroke that seemed to Nick a mark against him for his cowardice in

approaching his siblings.

“Would it be easier if I read them first then gave you a summation of each one?”

Nick turned his head, startled to find Stratton sitting in the chair beside him, looking

at him with a mix of sympathy and concern. “No, I need to do this, at least. If they…” Nick

swallowed a lump that climbed into his throat. “If they hate me for taking what should have

been theirs, or for being such a coward…” Well, he’d rather be the only one to read it if they

did, and he’d have to think of a way to make peace with Rory and Annabelle since they were

friends of Josh’s. And Annabelle was involved with Justin—and Evan. Nick would grovel, do

whatever he had to in order to keep Josh from having to choose between him and them. Nick

wasn’t entirely sure he’d come out the victor then, and even if he did, the cost to josh would

be too high.

“Well, if you’re sure,” Stratton said, sounding less than certain himself. “But maybe

you should read them here.”

Stratton’s pale complexion made the flush on his cheeks impossible to ignore. Nick

knew he probably wore a matching one as well, but his darker skin would camouflage it

better. “All right. Thank you.” He wasn’t sure his legs would hold him up anyway. Why had

his mother bothered to give these to Stratton for him? As much as she hated Ian’s other kids,

he was surprised she hadn’t destroyed the letters. Shrugging, he gave up trying to figure it

out. Antonia’s thinking was incomprehensible to him, and maybe that was best. Nick turned

his attention back to the letters and began to sort them out by date, setting Chance’s aside to

read last.

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Chapter Twenty-Two

Josh trudged up the steps to his apartment, beat from working a double shift. He

imagined even the penguins on his newly patched up pink scrubs were exhausted. A nasty

upper respiratory virus was tearing through the town, and the hospital staff were dropping

like flies, almost literally since they were all working long hours and were days past being

tired, their immune systems compromised by their efforts to treat all the sick and wounded.

Nick had told him he would probably be in tomorrow evening, so Josh figured it would be

just his luck to catch whatever it was going around and be sick as a dog by then.

Speaking of which… Josh stopped at his door and set his gym bag on the railing so he

could unzip and dig out the B12. Maybe it wouldn’t help, but it couldn’t hurt. Although, B12

usually gave him a boost, and he really should just crash for a while. Except his apartment

was kind of a mess. He hadn’t been home enough, or awake when he was home, to do much

more than shower, drink a cup or two of coffee and grab a granola bar on the way back out.

Josh took his dose then zipped his bag back up before unlocking the door. He groaned

when he stepped into the living room. Normally he wasn’t such a slob, but there were scrubs

in piles where he’d just stood and stripped and a couple of coffee mugs were on the coffee

table, one with something funky floating in the dark liquid. Josh leaned over and squealed

when he spotted the antennae, straightening so fast he stumbled over some clothes behind

him and promptly ass planted on the floor.

“Oomph! Ouch.” Josh sat stunned for a few seconds while his backside throbbed from

the impact. “Well if the B12 didn’t wake me up, that sure did.” He gave himself a minute to

just sit then gingerly pushed himself up. Surveying the room, he decided to shower after

cleaning—no sense in handling those germ covered scrubs after scrubbing himself down. But

maybe he should start in the bedroom, strip the sheets and slap on some new ones, get that

particular room ready for tomorrow.

It probably wouldn’t hurt to put the bland beige sheets and comforter on the bed,

either. Nick would look amazing spread out on the pink ones, but they needed a wash, and

Nick would probably have something sarcastic to say about them. Josh didn’t want to waste

any time tomorrow bandying about insults on his decorating skills. At least he had some.

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“Pink, penguins, and penises, the three best P’s in life,” Josh murmured. Of course,

pink wasn’t just a colour, it was also the name of his favourite singer, so there were four P’s

Josh loved. But maybe he should make penis singular, because he really only wanted one,

and it was attached to the man he loved. “Right, then. Pink, pink, penguins and Nick’s

penis—and that’s definitely not in preferential order.” Josh shuddered as he pictured Nick’s

fat cock. He couldn’t wait to feel that slab of meat reaming his ass tomorrow night.

“God. Damn,” Josh grumbled, reaching into his briefs to reposition his erection. He

couldn’t resist pressing his thumb to the slit and swiping at the pre-cum there. It was

tempting to jerk off, but Josh knew if he did he’d just curl up on his dirty sheets and go to

sleep afterwards. Then when would he clean? He had an early shift tomorrow, but there was

no telling what time Nick would get in, and Josh didn’t want his lover arriving to a messy

apartment.

That settled, he wiped his thumb on his top which he then took off and tossed in the

hamper. The blanket and sheets followed shortly thereafter. Josh opened the miniscule closet

and grabbed the boring beige bed set. He made the bed then tidied the room. Snatching the

iPod off his dresser on the way out, he gave the room one last glance. The walls were still

hideously orange and the carpet was quite possibly a living thing, but he’d done the best he

could.

Josh put the ear buds in and turned on his iPod. Cranking the volume up until his

body vibrated with the music, Josh proceeded to pick up the living room. At least the kitchen

wasn’t bad. He hadn’t been home enough to dirty more than a few dishes. The bathroom

however could probably use a good scrubbing, and he knew he’d left a couple of towels on

the floor in there.

“Let’s do this,” Josh nodded, bobbing his head in time with the opening beat of Ave

Mary A. Just listening to Pink made him grin, which made the whole cleaning thing not so

hellacious.

Within half an hour, Josh had danced and sang and dusted as well as picked up his

clothes. The hamper was near to overflowing with dirty laundry but that would have to wait.

Sitting at the dingy, creepy Laundromat facilities offered by the apartment complex was not

something he wanted to do until he had no other option. All he had left to do was clean the

bathroom…right after he got rid of the coffee cup with the suicidal roach in it. Josh made a

mental note to call the property manager and complain about the ineffectiveness of the

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monthly exterminator’s visits. Not that Josh had ever actually seen an exterminator around

here, but his lease clearly said there was one and the fees for the service were included in his

rent.

Steeling himself against a round of dry heaves or another squeal, Josh picked up the

cup, singing along with Raise Your Glass. Despite his best attempt not to, Josh found himself

peeking at the contents of the cup.

“Grossgrossgross!” Josh looked towards the kitchen. He could wash the cup out and

run it through the rickety dishwasher. “Nah.” He made a beeline to the front door. “Slam

slam, oh hot damn, what part of party don’t you understand, wish you’d just freak out—” Josh

shimmied and shook as much as he could without dumping coffee soaked bug on himself.

He tossed the cup, coffee, bug and all—into the kitchen trash then took the almost-full trash

bag from the can. He’d rather take the whole damn thing down to the big dumpster than risk

that roach having a miraculous recovery in the apartment. He slapped another liner in the

can then trotted with the garbage to the front door.

Then he unlocked the door and opened it and screeched so loud it drowned out Pink’s

voice in his ears.

* * * *

After having knocked at the door for several minutes, and trying the handle only to

find it was locked, Nick had leaned up against the wall beside the door frame and waited.

He’d figured, judging by the volume of Josh’s voice and the lack of actual music, that the

man must have his ear buds in. Nick had entertained himself with images of Josh inside,

dancing and singing carelessly. That was something he’d love to see, and Nick determined

right then to sneak up on Josh some time, once they’d got settled together, just so he could

watch the careless abandon he was sure Josh must be exhibiting, judging by the singing.

The locks being turned were all the warning Nick got, but it was enough. He dropped

his bag and stepped up to the door, hoping Josh didn’t think to peer out the peephole. He

didn’t. The door swing open and a trash bag caught Nick in the stomach as Josh shrieked, his

green eyes widening so much they seemed too large for his face. He looks like one of those

cartoons. The air gushed from Nick’s lungs, not all due to the impact of the garbage, either.

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Josh was shirtless, his sculpted torso glistening with a sheen of sweat that begged to be licked

off.

Nick ignored the fact that he couldn’t breathe and shoved at the bag between them.

Josh’s expression shifted from scared to joyous in a heartbeat as he jerked the ear buds out.

“You’re really here. God, Nick!”

“Yeah, baby. Drove straight through. I couldn’t stand being away from you any

longer.” Josh gave him a radiant smile that lit a thousand flames inside Nick. He slid his

arms around the younger man’s waist and gripped two handfuls of that fine plump ass,

lifting as he pulled Josh forward, then Nick was doing what he’d dreamed of for over a

week, what had spurred him on to drive nonstop despite being exhausted and more than a

little scared of what he’d face making a new life here in Texas. Josh’s full lips were already

parted when Nick sealed his over them. Twin moans rumbled from on to another as he

plundered Josh’s mouth, savouring the man’s taste. The flesh under his hands quivered and

flexed as Josh struggled to get closer. Nick tugged and Josh got the message, dropping the

trash to lock his arms around Nick’s neck even as Josh wound his legs around Nick’s hips.

It was perfect, more perfect than Nick had remembered it being, holding this man in

his arms. The fear that had lingered once Josh left evaporated as Josh gave himself to Nick.

Whatever happened with the other people in Josh’s life, Nick would make it work. He’d do

anything for his lover, and right now his formerly worn out body and mind were pinging

with endorphins that threatened to have him stripping those hot pink penguin covered

scrubs off Josh’s fine ass right here outside Josh’s door.

“Inside,” Nick murmured against Josh’s kiss-swollen lips. “’Less you want me to fuck

you right here where all your neighbours can watch.”

“Oh.” Josh made that one word sound like vocal sex, drawing the one syllable out into

several as he ground his hard dick against Nick’s stomach. Nick smirked as he realised his

hot little man had a bit of an exhibitionist in him. More than a bit, maybe, and Nick didn’t

feel like ending back up in jail with that gorilla dressed as a cop glaring at him.

“Inside,” Nick said, grudgingly releasing Josh’s ass so he could unwind from Nick’s

body. Josh grumbled but did as ordered, making sure to rub against Nick in such a way Nick

almost said ‘Fuck it’. The only reason he didn’t bend Josh over the railing and fuck him until

they both screamed was because he wasn’t sure the railing would hold.

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Josh palmed his cock, squeezing Nick hard until Nick shuddered and thrust against

the touch, then the younger man winked cheekily and picked up the trash bag. Nick bent and

found the straps for his duffle, his eyes drawn to Josh’s pink-clad ass as the other man turned

and strode inside. Nick didn’t miss the extra sway to his hips or the silent promise the move

conveyed. He picked up his bag and stepped inside, slamming the door behind him. Josh set

the trash down and turned, pulling off the band that held his iPod strapped to one nicely

muscled bicep. He dropped the whole thing on the couch and Nick dropped his duffle and

pounced, grabbing Josh’s wrist.

A dip and a tug and Nick had josh over his shoulder. He clamped one hand onto the

mound of Josh’s ass as his lover yelped. Nick drew in a deep breath as he pressed his nose to

Josh’s ribs. The scent of sweat and man rushed straight to Nick’s balls, threatening to make

him spurt then and there. “Jesus, baby, you smell so fucking good.” Nick licked a strip of

sweaty skin, moaning at the salty tang as he squeezed a handful of ass.

Josh huffed a shaky laugh, his hands coasting over Nick’s lower back before latching

onto his butt. “I smell like a stinky guy who needs a shower.”

Nick was already striding towards the bedroom, anticipation setting his nerves to

jangling. “No, you smell like a man who needs a through fucking.” Nick shouldered the

bedroom door open. “And I’ve been driving for almost thirty hours, so—what the hell?”

Nick glared at the bed.

Josh squirmed on his shoulder. “What? What’s wrong?”

Nick felt positively offended as he looked at the beige atrocity. Sure, it went with the

orange walls better, kind of… Well, as much as anything could, but—

“Where’s the pink sheets? The pink penguin blanket?” Nick eased Josh down in front

of him, still glaring at the bed. “Do you know how much I’ve thought about fucking you

there, your skin against those sheets, the way your hair would set that pink off, the contrast

of the two? And I get…this?” Nick waved at the colourless mess, chiding himself mentally as

he did so. Here he finally had his man, and he was bitching about the colour of the bedding?

Fuck. He was an idiot.

Josh’s cheeks were flushed as pink as the missing sheets when Nick glanced at him.

The younger man nibbled on his bottom lip before releasing it. Nick couldn’t look away from

the swollen spit slicked flesh. “I thought…they needed a wash and I thought you wouldn’t

like them, so—”

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“Right.” Nick nodded, finally looking into those worried eyes. “Let me clarify

something for you, Josh.” He closed the slight space between them and hooked his fingers in

Josh’s waistband. Josh’s skin sprouted goose bumps as he lowered his lids and his breathing

sped up. Nick dipped his head and licked the shell of Josh’s ear as he spoke. “I love you,

pink, penguins and all. Those are things that are yours, and I want to share them all. I don’t

want you to change—unless it’s the bedding back to what it should be.” Nick lifted his head

and glared over Josh’s shoulder at all that beige. “I can’t believe you even have something so

fucking bland.”

“Justin bought it for me when I moved in,” Josh said, digging his fingers into Nick’s

hips. “I never used it before, but the sheets really do need to be washed, so—”

“So trash these after tonight. I’ll buy you as many pink sheets as you want.” As far as

Nick was concerned it was settled. Josh was bright colours and sunlit laughter, not this

godawful dull crap his brother had picked out.

Josh grinned and nodded. “So can we fuck now?”

Like Nick was going to be dumb enough to waste any more time than he already had.

He’d just have to make Josh flush until his skin was as pink as the sheets should be. Nick

swatted him on one taut butt cheek, smirking when Josh jumped and squeaked. “Yeah. Strip

and get out what we need.”

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Chapter Twenty-Three

Josh turned his back to Nick and slowly pulled down his scrubs and underwear,

shaking his ass as he bent to shove the clothes down to his ankles. Nick’s hiss only

encouraged Josh to put on more of a show, so he kicked the clothing aside then reached back

to grab his cheeks and spread them. Widening his stance so that Nick could see his dangling

balls and swollen dick, Josh peered around his shoulder and grinned. Nick was standing

frozen, his mouth dropped open, his hands fisted, and his eyes zeroed in right where Josh

wanted them.

“You ready for this?” Josh asked, letting the tips of his fingers brush down his crack

and tease at his hole. Nick cursed and stepped forward, batting away one of Josh’s hands.

Nick slapped his ass hard enough to send a jolt of pain through Josh, and Josh knew his little

kink was out. He moaned and arched his lower back, thrusting his butt up in a request for

more.

Nick planted one hand on Josh’s lower back and pushed, his other hand gripping

Josh’s hip to guide him until Josh was leaning over the bed. Palms flat on the ugly blanket,

Josh lowered his shoulders and wagged his butt at his lover. Nick murmured something

about needing to see more pink, then his big hard hand landed on Josh’s ass again.

“Fuck! Again!” Josh moaned and writhed as Nick spanked him. Tendrils of need

coiled and dispersed in his bloodstream, firing nerves and sending his pulse into overdrive.

The stinging heat from each blow spread over Josh’s skin and burrowed inside, feeding a lust

that was already threatening to shatter his control. Sharp bright pain bloomed from a smack

where his thigh and ass met. Josh yelped and started humping air as desperation to come set

his spine to tingling. “Nick, God, please—”

“Almost there,” Nick muttered before slapping Josh’s right cheek hard enough to rock

him forward. “One more.” Nick landed a matching blow to Josh’s left cheek. “Condoms and

lube?”

Josh made a garbled sound as he tried to speak. He gave up on forming intelligible

words and tipped his head towards the night stand.

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“Figured.” Nick rubbed Josh’s heated skin roughly then squeezed the sensitised flesh.

“Fuck, baby, pink’s definitely your colour. Stay right here.”

As if he could trust his legs to carry him. Josh locked his knees and dropped his head

onto the mattress then closed his eyes, letting the sounds of Nick preparing to fuck him stoke

his arousal. Their breaths were loud and raspy, but he listened as Nick opened the drawer

and found what they needed. The crinkling of the condom package was followed by a

ripping sound, then a low curse, probably from Nick rolling the rubber on. The lube

spluttered obnoxiously when it was opened, then there was a shuffle of footsteps and the

shock of cold liquid oozing down Josh’s crack.

“Cold?” Nick asked, his voice laced with amusement. Josh opened his mouth to

answer but ended up gasping as fingers speared into his opening. “Too much?” Nick

sounded contrite, or worried, Josh couldn’t determine which when his brain was shorting

out due to the pleasure shooting up from his ass.

“Not enough,” he snarked, hoping to bring back the dominant part of his lover that

had just surfaced to deliver the spanking Josh had craved. He felt the rough scrape of Nick’s

denim shirt against his back, the moist hot breath gusting from Nick’s mouth. A sharp nip of

teeth at his earlobe made Josh yelp and open his eyes.

Nick glared down at him from only inches away, his pupils blown until Josh couldn’t

distinguish the dark brown from the black. “That’s not nice.” Nick grinned then, a warning

Josh didn’t pick up on until Nick thrust his fingers inside, bringing Josh to his toes as he

struggled not to come. Nick used his other hand to deliver a pinch Josh knew would bruise.

Knowing he’d wear a mark from his lover, combined with Nick’s fingers brushing over his

gland, the burning heat of his ass from the spanking, Nick’s sheer power at this moment—it

was all too much. Josh wailed as his balls sent cum flowing from his dick in a release so

intense his legs gave out.

* * * *

“Damn.” Nick closed his eyes then snapped them back open, not wanting to miss a

second of Josh falling apart for him. He grunted as he kept Josh somewhat upright with one

arm, the other immobile as Josh’s ass had a grip on his fingers that Nick couldn’t—and didn’t

want to—shake. Nick eased Josh to his knees as the man trembled and moaned. The scent of

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Josh’s cum was strong and made Nick’s mouth water. He’d love to take the time to taste, but

his own erection was throbbing, begging to be buried in the tight heat still clasping his

fingers.

“Lean on the bed, baby, that’s it, just like that for me.” Nick helped Josh brace his

chest on the mattress then he slipped his fingers from his lover’s hole. He couldn’t wait much

longer, not after seeing that. And not after doing something he’d never imagined, spanking

Josh’s ass until it glowed a vibrant shade of pink. Josh was showing him all sorts of new

things about himself, and though they were surprising—and a little scary; Nick wasn’t sure

what to think about the power he’d felt when spanking Josh, but the desire and love, those

were stronger than anything else—Nick would be forever grateful to Josh for bringing Nick

to where he was now.

Nick knelt behind Josh and lined his dick up to the lube slicked hole. “You ready?” He

nudged at the opening, praying Josh was indeed ready, because Nick was about to lose his

ever-loving mind.

Instead of answering, Josh rocked back hard, impaling himself fully on Nick’s cock.

Nick grunted as his vision blurred. Silky heat gripped his rod ruthlessly, contracting and

rippling. Josh groaned and swivelled his hips and Nick’s tenuous control snapped. Gripping

Josh’s hips, he hammered into his lover’s ass, deep hard thrusts that rocked Josh into the

mattress. Nick let go of one hip and reached for Josh’s shoulder, using it to pull that cut body

back with more force. His balls slapped against Josh’s with each forward shove, sending fire

sizzling down his thighs and all the way up to his chest. Everything inside Nick tightened

almost unbearably as he pummelled Josh’s ass. Josh’s whimpers and pleas for more and

harder and deeper drove Nick past the point of reasoning. He let those sounds and words goad

him until he was fucking Josh so hard the bed was battering the wall.

“S’what you want?” Nick asked, his voice slurred as he gasped for breath.

“Fuck yesssss… Fuck!” Josh rammed a hand under himself, jerking off Nick thought.

Nick didn’t have the speedy recovery time his younger lover did and he wanted to make this

last as long as possible. Which, he thought ruefully, might not be long at all. Josh was

shoving back against him as hard as Nick was ploughing into him. They’d be bruised all over

come morning, but neither would mind. Nick spread his knees a little further and canted his

hips then rammed in deep. Josh’s scream was proof Nick had pegged the gland he’d sought,

and the reward was another shout as Josh’s inner muscles squeezed Nick’s dick so

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thoroughly he froze with his length buried fully in Josh’s ass. Nick gritted his teeth and

strained not to come as his cock was massaged for several seconds. Josh gasped and his

entire body shook, his passage rippling and teasing at Nick’s orgasm.

Nick dropped down on top of Josh. He bit the back of Josh’s neck, the tangy taste of

sweat coating his tongue. “God damn it.” Nick sucked hard and shoved his dick further into

Josh’s ass. Josh’s responding guttural moan shredded Nick’s restraint. He bellowed as his

hips jerked, ramming into Josh’s body in short fierce thrusts. His body sang in ecstasy as cum

spewed into from his slit. Nick bit the firm flesh he’d pressed his lips against as his insides

liquefied, his climax so intense he couldn’t do more than crush Josh with his weight as he

filled the condom with spunk.

Drained and sated to near unconsciousness, Nick hooked an arm around Josh’s chest

and pulled his lover back with him as he toppled to the floor. He pressed a kiss to the bruised

mark he’d made on Josh’s neck and closed his eyes, content to sleep where he was with Josh

held firmly against him.

“Love you,” he heard Josh murmur, then Nick gave in and slept.

* * * *

Josh forced himself to move, his body boneless from the most intense sex of his life.

He reached behind him and fumbled for the base of Nick’s cock, trying to hold the condom

in place as he wiggled off that softening length. Josh hissed as Nick’s dick slipped from his

ass. He’d be sore as hell tomorrow, and it would be delicious, each twinge and pain

reminding him of the way Nick had taken him tonight. Josh rolled carefully in Nick’s arms

and eased the rubber off Nick. He tied it off and tossed it towards the trash can beside the

bed. The wet splat told him he’d missed, but he wasn’t willing to give up the comfort of his

lover’s embrace to pick it up.

Morning would come soon enough, and with it all the responsibilities and demands of

everyday life. For now, Josh intended to savour every moment of lying here safe and well-

fucked in Nick’s arms. He lay awake doing just that until sleep finally pulled him under with

the promise of dreams of the future with his man.

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Chapter Twenty-Four

Nick set the stack of letters on the homemade coffee table and tapped them absently

with one finger. Out of the three who’d tried to correspond with him, Rory was definitely the

friendlier one. Annabelle wrote the same way she spoke, boldly and bluntly. She didn’t gush

or make promises, but had claimed to want to meet with him and see if they’d be able to get

along.

“Guess she still holds Justin’s whuppin’ against me.” Nick couldn’t hold back a

snicker even though he hadn’t fared much better than Josh’s brother. He’d bet that Justin

wasn’t used to doing anything other than winning when he used his fists, but he hadn’t won.

A draw at best, but Nick was fairly certain he would have taken the other man eventually.

Justin’s inability to control his temper would have ensured it. A hot head was a careless one

much of the time, and Nick had been aware of that for years. Still, Annabelle seemed to have

been trying, although who knew what she’d do since he’d never replied? He was almost

afraid to find out.

The last letter he’d received was the one that made him the most nervous. It wasn’t the

words so much as what wasn’t said, along with the fact that the man who’d written it was

Rory’s partner. Chance Galloway was close to Nick’s age, and, from everything Josh had said

about the man, Rory was completely devoted to him, as he was to Rory. Nick thought Rory

was a forgiving sort, soft hearted but not a fool, a rare combination in a man in his opinion.

And no doubt, if Chance decided Nick was any type of a threat, Nick would lose any chance

he might have of a relationship with his half-brother. Which would mean whatever sliver of

potential there was with Annabelle would vanish, too.

Nick lifted the letter up and leant back on the nappy futon, grimacing when the frame

groaned. He eased back the final few inches, half expecting the whole thing to collapse.

Breathing a sigh of relief when it didn’t, he set the letter on his lap and stared at the single

paragraph there.

Josh did a lot of talking and persuading on your part. He’s a good man, but maybe too easy to

trust. I am not as naïve as Josh, or as Rory, and I am not as forgiving as either of them. What I want to
know, need to know before you come waltzing into Rory and Annabelle’s lives is this: Are you an

honest man, or do you carry years of anger towards the siblings who were, until recently, the favoured

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ones? I have to ask myself that question, and have numerous times, but the fact is, the only one who

can answer it is you. I hope, for everyone’s sake, Josh is right about you.

The signature below was a sprawling display that practically screamed confidence

and strength, although Nick knew he could just be imagining it. He reread the letter again,

wondering why it made him so nervous. His palms were sweating so much that the last

swipe of his palms over his thighs had left a faint trail. He finally decided it wasn’t Chance

Galloway that made him so nervous so much as the influence the man wielded over Rory

and therefore Annabelle. Not that he thought Chance was a dictator or anything like that, but

if Rory felt pressed to choose between a brother he never knew and the man he loved, Nick

knew who’d be left out in the cold—which was as it should be. But he really didn’t want

Rory to have to make such a choice, which meant Nick needed to make sure Chance didn’t

think he was a complete waste of DNA.

Granted, he didn’t know Chance. The guy might not be as controlling as Nick feared.

For some reason, maybe because Galloway’s disapproval could cost Nick the relationship

with his siblings he’d longed for, the man had become a shadow image of Ian in Nick’s mind.

That wasn’t fair to Chance, and Nick tried to crush the thought, but it was hard to do when

the man’s approval was something Nick would need. It reminded him all over again of when

he’d been young and dumb enough to think he could earn Ian Calhoun’s love, or at the very

least, lessen the man’s disdain for him. He’d tried to be perfect, had went out of his way to

impress his father time and again, only to be rejected and, much of the time, mocked as an

ignorant Mexican bastard. Despite the shell he’d built around his heart where his father was

concerned, Nick still ached with the memory. And he didn’t want any kind of a repeat.

Nick tapped the paper again, this time over the phone number included at the bottom

of the page. He wasn’t a young boy with stars in his eyes now, although he was sure those

eyes lit up for his lover. How could they not when Josh lit him so from the inside? It had to

come shining through. Loving Josh was like swallowing liquid sunshine, it left you warm

and tingling and filled so full of love it couldn’t help but leak out in an increase in soft smiles

and joyous laughter.

Josh loved him, just as he was. Nick knew that. For the first time in his life, he knew

what it meant to be loved, and for that gift alone, Nick’s devotion to his younger lover would

never waver. So, if he was good enough—he didn’t think he was, would ever be, but still—

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for Josh to love, then that’s all that mattered. He didn’t need to be some chest-thumping

Neanderthal proclaiming his strength for anyone else. Josh loved him. Simple as that.

And knowing it was true made picking up the phone and calling Chance Galloway

almost easy.

* * * *

“There, that should make you feel better in no time,” Josh said as he patted Mrs

Wilford’s weathered hand. He hoped he wasn’t lying; this virus was exceptionally hard on

the elderly. Mrs Wilford was still in the early stages of the illness, so hopefully they’d caught

it and could prevent her from developing pneumonia. She gave him a weak smile then

closed her eyes, carried off to sleep by the drug Josh had administered through her IV. He

waited until he was sure she was resting as peacefully as she could be given the

circumstances then he left the room, hoping he could take a short break. He almost made it to

the lounge when Cynthia, the head nurse, stopped him and thrust a clipboard in his hand.

“Go check on Mr Walton, then you can take a break.”

Josh gripped the clipboard and groaned which earned him a visual reprimand from

Cynthia. He bit his tongue and nodded, turning on his heel to head back down the hall.

Checking in on his sick boss was the last thing Josh wanted to do, and he glanced around

hoping to find someone else to pass the case off to, but as short staffed as they were, he knew

it was futile. Besides, Cynthia would have his ass on a platter if he didn’t follow her order.

“Why so glum?”

Josh glanced over his shoulder and spied Misty behind him. She looked as exhausted

as he felt, and her question was laced with enough sarcasm that he snickered even as his

stomach lurched. He stopped and waved the clipboard. “Have to check on Walton.”

Misty’s lips pinched tight and she reached out to thump the clipboard. “I checked on

him earlier, the freaking pervert. At least when he wasn’t sick I could avoid being too close to

him.” She rubbed at a spot on her hip, anger bringing a flush to her cheeks. “I don’t think

he’s that bad. I think he’s just using this as an excuse to get grabby.”

Josh blinked and snapped his mouth shut. He gestured to where her hand still rubbed

at the swell of one butt cheek. “Did he…”

“Oh yeah, grabbed a whole frigging handful and tried to keep it, too.”

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“Did you report it?”

Misty snorted. “Right. Because that would do any good. You do know his grandpa

gives huge donations annually to the hospital, and his uncle is on the board?”

“Figures,” Josh muttered. “That explains why the ass is still here. Anywhere else

would have fired him in a heartbeat.”

“Well yeah.” Misty hooked her arm through Josh’s and bumped her hip with hers. “So

how about I go with you? Protect that very cute ass you have so that wild man who did this

doesn’t have a reason to freak out?” She touched a spot just above Josh’s collar bone.

He glanced down and groaned when he saw the edges of a dark hickey high on his

chest. “Damn it.” Josh tugged at his scrub top until the mark was covered. “That’s what

sleeping through the alarm gets you, no time to check for stuff like that.”

Misty chuckled and poked him in the ribs as she grinned at him. “Suuurree you slept

through the alarm. I bet that wasn’t what woke you up.” She burst into a bright gale of

laughter as Josh felt his skin tingling with heat. He be damned if he admitted she was right.

The alarm had went off and he’d heard it—he’d just been too busy enjoying the feeling of

Nick’s big cock slamming against his prostate to give a shit.

“Mmhm, that’s what I thought. So this must mean your Nick got in a day early.”

Josh had filled Misty somewhat on what had happened between him and Nick. He

hadn’t wanted her to hate the man he loved, not when he knew she and he could be good

friends. Instead of snarking about the man who she once thought had beat him, Misty had

been delighted for Josh and only a little embarrassed over her prior actions.

“I’d love to see what he looks like now that he isn’t black and blue and bleeding,”

Misty hinted as they approached Walton’s room. “Maybe we could have lunch with him

soon.”

Josh was stopped from answering by Walton’s low whistle. “Well, look here, I get two

pretty nurses to wait on me.” He tipped his chin… chins, Josh grimaced as the loose flesh

swayed…at Misty and leered in such a way that it made Josh feel dirty. “Didn’t get enough

earlier, Ms Malone?”

Days of exhaustion and stress made Josh less tolerant than normal. He set a hand to

Misty’s hip, holding her still when her body tensed with a sharply inhaled breath.

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“You know,” Josh said as he squeezed Misty’s hip then took a couple of steps towards

the bed and swept Walton with a contemptuous gaze. “I have to wonder if your grandfather

and your uncle know how you’re taking advantage of their generosity and authority.”

Walton flinched and his pasty skin seemed to go even pastier. Josh nodded and

walked the last few steps towards his boss. “That’s what I thought.”

Walton’s fear fled under a rush of indignation. His beady eyes hardened as he shook a

finger at Josh. “You wouldn’t dare. They wouldn’t believe you anyway, if I told them you

were just a vindictive queer—”

“But I’m not,” Misty spat out joining Josh at the bedside. “And I bet there’s plenty of

other employees, past and present, who would be willing to vouch for what a pervert you

are.”

“You bitch,” Walton snarled, spittle flying as he sputtered. “Both of you are stupid

bitches! You wouldn’t dare!”

Josh wiped his forearm on Walton’s blanket, making a note to scrub his skin until it

was cootie free. “We would. The worst that would happen is we would lose our jobs, then

we’d sue and we would win. There’s no way we’re the only people you’ve sexually harassed.

Just think of the publicity…hmm.”

“Yeah, bet your family would be so proud,” Misty chimed in.

Walton gave them a belligerent look but flopped back on the bed without another

word. Josh didn’t fool himself into thinking for a minute the man had changed. Walton had

got away with his bad behaviour for too long, but at least now he knew there were people

who would stand up to him. Misty checked the IV’s while Josh carefully drew up the

dosages for his boss. After seeing the man’s eyes droop he left with Misty, pausing right

outside Walton’s door. His skin tingled and his pulse sped up as he turned his head and

glanced towards the nurse’s station. Josh grinned and clamped a hand around Misty’s wrist.

“Hey Misty?”

Misty turned back towards him then let out a low whistle of her own. “Damn.”

Josh nodded as Nick started towards him. “Yeah, damn. Let’s go to lunch.”

“This day is suddenly looking a lot better.”

His heart feeling light enough to float right out of his chest, Josh agreed. This day was

suddenly looking much, much better.

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Chapter Twenty-Five

“It’ll be fine,” Nick said, amused by the fact that Josh was clearly more stressed about

this than he was. He parked the truck behind one that, in his opinion, was nowhere near as

cool as his.

“I know, I know, I’m just nervous.”

Nick cut his eyes towards Josh and had to grin as the younger man twisted his fingers

nervously in his lap. Josh was all tensed muscles and agitation. A closer look made Nick

think Josh didn’t seem nervous so much as ready to spring should anyone even look at Nick

wrong. That thought had Nick’s grin ratcheting up a notch. Who’d have thought having a

protective lover could make you feel all warm and fuzzy?

“Quit smirking,” Josh sniped, but his eyes lit with the smile that stretched his pink

lips. He unbuckled and slid across the seat then Nick found himself with an armful of strong,

sexy man as Josh turned his face up for a kiss. Like Nick could ever resist that. Why would

he even want to?

“Mmm,” Josh hummed into the kiss, sending chill bumps over Nick’s skin. Josh had

made that same noise less than an hour earlier, except he’d done it with those lush lips

wrapped around Nick’s cock and had damned near shorted Nick’s brain out.

“God.” Nick ended the kiss with a suckle and nip to Josh’s plump bottom lip. “How

can I possibly be hard again?”

Josh’s delighted laughter only made him more so. “’Cause I am just that good.” Nick

noted that some of the tension seemed to have left his lover—and transferred straight to

Nick’s prick. Great. That will make a good impression. It only took the thought of Annabelle

seeing him with a whopping erection to make it start to dwindle. There were just some

things family didn’t need to see, ever. He cupped Josh’s chin and pulled him forward for one

more kiss then Nick unsnapped both their seatbelts, freeing his lover first. “Come on, they

aren’t going to kill me. The worst that can happen is they’ll tell me they don’t want anything

to do with me.”

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“Well, Chance might be irritated, but that’s his tough luck,” Josh huffed as he moved

towards the passenger door. “I have half a mind to tell him just what I think of his attempt to

get you alone.”

Josh was referring to the phone call Nick had made earlier to Chance. The man had

been insistent on them meeting, alone, before Nick tried to contact Rory or Annabelle. Nick’s

newfound belief that he didn’t need to pretend to be someone he wasn’t just to make a good

impression gave him the strength to override Chance’s suggestion. Which had really been an

order, but Nick wasn’t answerable to Chance Galloway and told him as much. Chance hadn’t

been happy with that reply, and was even less thrilled when Nick suggested Chance run that

idea by Rory and get back to Nick with his half-brother’s feelings on the matter.

Nick opened the truck door but turned his head, locking gazes with Josh’s. “Yeah,

well, listen to the other half of your mind then. He was only trying to keep his partner safe.”

“Whatever,” Josh said sulkily, and even that pouty tone made Nick smile. “He

shouldn’t have tried to keep me out of it.”

Nick kept quiet. He understood Chance’s motivation, but that didn’t mean he liked

what the man had tried to do. Rory wasn’t a child, and Annabelle was a woman not to be

trifled with. Nick shut the door and took a step before he stopped, his feet frozen in place. A

man stepped from the shadows of the wide porch. How long had those he been standing on

the porch? How much had he seen? Did it matter?

He quit thinking when his eyes met those of a big blond with curly pale blond hair.

The angelic face should have seemed out of place on a man that size, but it wasn’t. And Nick

knew, suddenly and clearly as he stared into those midnight blue eyes, just why Chance had

wanted to protect Rory. The man didn’t just wear his heart on his sleeve, he held it in the

palms of both hands and offered it up, trusting those around him not to hurt him. How could

Rory be so open, so…trusting, after everything he’d been through?

And all the internal pep talks he’d given himself, his bright and shiny knowledge that

he needn’t be anyone other than himself, failed Nick utterly. He couldn’t hope to live up to

what he saw reflected in Rory’s eyes, didn’t deserve the open affection and admiration so

easily read in those depths. What did he know about being a brother, or really, for that

matter, being part of a family? One where he was loved and accepted not used and

manipulated?

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Nothing, and as much as Nick wanted to make a connection with his siblings, he also

wanted to flee.

“Come on, baby,” Josh whispered from beside him. Nick shuddered and, gaze still on

Rory’s, he reached for Josh, pulling him into his arms and praying he could absorb some of

his lover’s strength.

“I don’t want to fuck this up.” Nick finally looked away from the man on the porch.

He cradled Josh’s cheek with one hand. “I thought I knew how big this was before, but I

didn’t, not really, until…”

Josh’s smile was so loving, his expression filled with the faith in Nick he still wasn’t

sure he’d earned. “It’ll be okay, you’ll see. Now let’s go meet your family.”

And with Josh looking at him like, the certainty in his smooth tenor wrapping around

Nick like a warm blanket on a brisk winter morning, how could Nick do anything other than

believe in his man? Nick nodded and lowered their now joined hand to his side as they

turned to make their way to the house.

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Chapter Twenty-Six

Josh squeezed Nick’s hand as it trembled in his own. He ached to comfort the man,

hated seeing the doubt and the crumbling of the normal self-assurance Nick cloaked himself

in. Although, and Josh’s lips tipped up with the thought, Nick’s world had been tilted and

rocked in the past few weeks, his perception of himself altered. The man really was

something special, once he gave up fighting the inevitable, and didn’t that make Josh

inevitable, or if not him, the love that proved too strong for either of them to resist?

So maybe he wasn’t inevitable—that kind of sounded crappy anyway, like a natural

disaster or something—but he was irresistible.

They came to a halt a few feet away from the porch. Nick’s hand tightened in his,

nearly grinding the bones together. Josh’s musings came to a halt as he hissed a soft warning.

Nick’s apologetic glance was followed immediately by him loosening his hold. Josh hoped

the look he gave his lover conveyed his absolute faith in the man. Maybe it did, because Nick

smiled slightly and nodded before turning to face Rory.

There was an awkward moment where both Nick and Rory stood rooted to the spot

then Rory’s full lips tipped into a broad smile. He walked down the porch steps and stopped

in front of them. Josh felt Nick tremble beside him as Rory looked at Josh.

Rory’s smile didn’t seem strained in the least as he offered Josh his hand. “Good to see

you again, Josh.”

Josh matched the blond’s expression as they shook hands. “You, too.” Josh released

Rory’s hand as the other man’s gaze had already sought out Nick. He opened his mouth for

introductions only to shut it again when Rory spoke softly.

“Nick.”

Nick released a stuttering breath as he took Rory’s hand. “Nicholas Mendiola.”

Rory’s smile wavered. He tugged and embraced Nick. “I know who you are.”

Josh sniffled as he watched the brothers hug—once Nick finally unfroze and wrapped

his arms around Rory. “Well damn,” Josh mumbled, swiping at a tear that spilled down his

cheek. This was going better than he’d hoped, but he didn’t want to cry like some soft

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hearted sap. He brushed another streak of moisture from his other cheek and willed himself

to get it under control.

* * * *

This is what being part of a family feels like. Nick had been so shocked to find himself

being hugged he hadn’t been able to move at first. Then it’d sunk in—Rory, his brother,

wasn’t angry, didn’t seem to begrudge him anything, and Nick was standing stiff as a board

when he could be hugging the brother he’d always longed to have. He heard Josh sniffle,

caught in his peripheral vision Josh’s attempts to brush away his tears. It made his own eyes

burn, his throat tighten against a sob.

“Rory,” Nick said, just because he could. He felt the younger man’s body shake, his

broad chest heave as Rory gave in to the emotions Nick was struggling to control.

“I knew you wouldn’t be able to walk away from us, from Josh,” Rory rasped, his

breath tickling Nick’s neck. Rory thumped his back a few times then loosened his grip so

Nick could lean back. Nick did, noting the slight differences in their height—he was at least

an inch or two taller—and the similarities in their features. Same wide eyes, tilted up just a

bit at the corner, same curve of the cheek and square chin. A small piece of Ian in each of

them, but not the cruel part that would have kept them from ever being a family, he hoped.

Nick held out a hand for Josh, something in him shimmering peacefully as soon as he

felt his lover’s hand in his. He looked at Josh, knowing the love and respect for the man must

be obvious in his expression. “Josh is…” Nick tried to explain it, but found himself

embarrassingly short of words. He settled for “Everything,” because it was the truth, even if

it didn’t adequately describe how much Josh meant to him.

Josh beamed at the single word and scooted close as Rory stepped beside Nick and

rested an arm over Nick’s shoulder. Josh pulled his hand free and caressed Nick’s lower back

before sliding his hand into Nick’s back pocket and promptly pinching Nick’s ass.

Nick flinched and Rory laughed. Josh grinned as Nick tucked Josh to his side and

secured him there with an arm over Josh’s shoulders. “Grabby,” Nick accused, which earned

him another pinch.

“Can’t blame me, you’ve got a very fine ass.”

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Nick huffed and was pretty sure he was blushing from his head to his toes as Rory

made a strangled sound before pleading, “Please, can you not talk about my brother’s, er,

attributes?”

Josh snickered. “No, but I can try not to talk about them around you.”

“That’s all I’m asking,” Rory said as he started to walk to the steps the hesitated.

“Um.”

“Go ahead,” Nick told him once Rory seemed to realise they couldn’t all three take the

steps at the same time. He and Josh trailed behind Rory as anxiety began to swell inside Nick

again. Just because Rory had been so willing to accept him didn’t mean the others would.

And that might well change Rory’s mind.

Rory stopped with one hand on the screen door handle as he turned to peer over his

shoulder at them. “Just so you know, Chance told me what he tried to do. I can promise you

he won’t be an ass.” Rory sounded almost smug and Nick wondered what had gone down

when Chance confessed his attempt to corner Nick alone. Judging by the unholy grin Rory

wore, Nick imagined it wasn’t exactly pretty, but it wasn’t unforgivable, either.

“All right, thank you.” Nick let Rory hold the door for him and Josh. The doorway

was too small for them both so he settled for holding Josh’s hand and letting him lead the

way. It was not, he thought sternly, an act of cowardice. He wasn’t hiding behind Josh. He

was just letting him go first because Josh had been here before and knew the way. And there

was also the added bonus of watching Josh’s tight butt flex as he walked. That sight alone

was enough to distract Nick from his worries.

Until he heard the voices coming from a room up ahead. The rumble of deep

masculine voices and the softer tone of a woman’s. Josh stopped and half turned, offering his

hand. Nick took it immediately, feeling as if it were the only lifeline he had in the familial sea

of uncertainty that awaited him. Rory’s hand on his shoulder and barely spoken encouraging

words emphasised the fact that he had Nick’s back, but Nick knew if things got nasty…

“It’ll be fine, I promise,” Josh said with so much conviction Nick found himself unable

to doubt it. The words, combined with the expression on Josh’s face, gave Nick the courage

to take the last few steps into the room even as Rory offered to go first and handle the

introductions.

Nick declined Rory’s offer but did, however, keep Josh at his side. He stepped into the

doorway, Josh pressed against his side, and immediately all conversation stopped. Nick’s

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gaze darted from one face to the other, lingering over Annabelle’s, feeling a tingle of warmth

in his belly when he realised she wasn’t glaring at him. Evan grinned and welcomed him,

and even Justin’s lips twitched as if he fought back a smile. Nick didn’t have quite as much

restraint, not with the wave of relief washing over him. Josh was right, it would be okay.

Nick settled his attention on the last man in the room, the one he knew must be

Chance Galloway. Stoic in appearance and several years older than Rory, Chance was still

handsome, his dark hair thick and verging on curly where the ends met his shoulders. Eyes

as dark as his own met Nick’s. He tipped his head towards Chance, noting the hesitancy in

the man’s expression.

Rory cleared his throat behind Nick and Chance’s hard façade vanished, his eyes

lighting, warmth filling them as he looked over Nick’s shoulder. Nick felt a hand press

against his lower back, nudging him further into the room. He entered, his gaze drawn back

to Annabelle. When she gave him a tremulous smile, so very much like Rory’s, Nick’s lungs

seized. He’d wanted this for more than half his life, wanted to know his siblings, and now

that it was finally happening he didn’t know what to do. Josh smoothed a hand over the

small of his back, a silent encouragement as Rory slipped by.

Nick barely noticed. He was still watching Annabelle, waiting for he wasn’t sure what

until she stood and took a sure step towards him. Without the slightest hesitation, Annabelle

opened her arms, confident in what she was doing, what she was offering. When Josh would

have pulled away, Nick gripped him tighter, bringing Josh with him as Nick reached for

Annabelle with a trembling hand. All of his control, his rigid determination to keep his

emotions on tight rein shattered as he found acceptance from his sister. Nick didn’t try to

stop the tears, and judging by the raspy breaths and muted sobs, neither did Annabelle or

Josh.

Another body joined the threesome, Rory squeezing in between where he could,

between Annabelle and Josh. “Let me in, I feel like an idiot sitting by Chance and bawling

like a baby.”

Nick’s huffed laughter hurt his throat which felt raw and too tight, but the sound of

the other three joining in made his heart soar.

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Chapter Twenty-Seven

“Your mother sounds about as bad as Ian,” Annabelle said, looking like she really

wanted to say something more. Probably along the lines of Antonia being a first-class bitch,

which Josh agreed with, but he’d never say as much. After all, if it weren’t for her, he

wouldn’t have Nick, so he kind of had to be grateful she was a nutbag.

“Annabelle,” Rory scolded, flushing to the tips of his ears.

Nick’s expression tightened, the fine lines around his eyes becoming more prominent

as he nodded. “She has…issues, but at least she finally gave me the letters.”

“She gave them to your lawyer, probably afraid of what you’d do if she didn’t and

you found out about them once you met us,” Annabelle pointed out.

“Maybe,” Nick said, “but that doesn’t explain why she saved them in the first place.”

Josh had given it some thought, and while no one could know Antonia’s motivation

for not destroying the letters in the first place, he could take a guess. “Well, if anyone accused

you of having contact with Rory and Annabelle, she could have offered up the unopened

letters as some kind of proof that maybe you didn’t have contact with them?” Everyone

looked at him and Josh ducked his head, wishing he had kept his mouth shut. “What? It’s

just an idea.”

Nick hugged him and half pulled Josh onto his lap. “And a good one, baby. Probably

the truth, too, although I really wish I could believe she held onto them with the intention of

giving them to me soon. But she wouldn’t have.”

“Yeah, little brother, I have to say I sometimes forget you’re not just a pretty face,”

Justin teased. Josh lifted his head up enough to shoot a glare at his brother, and stuck his

tongue out at him for good measure.

“Obviously Josh got all the looks and the brains in the family.”

Josh blinked at Chance, stunned the older man had made a joke that actually

complimented Josh.

Chance winked while the others hooted and dogged Justin. “Better close your mouth,

boy, before I rethink the whole smart bit.”

“Well, so much for the big bad twink-monster.”

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Chance arched a brow and his lips twitched. “Twink-monster? Really?”

If Josh blushed any harder he was going to combust. “Well, yeah. Everyone knows

you don’t like twinks, so…yeah, that’s the whole twink-monster thing.”

That sent the others off into another round of laughter, Chance included. Josh

snuggled down on Nick, moving all the way onto his lover’s lap as Nick held him tightly.

Each puff of breath, each rich, deep chuckle that passed Nick’s lips made Josh’s dick harder

and harder. The man was just too sexy when he was happy. It made Josh want to lap him

right up, taste the joy and wallow in it with Nick. Nick’s hand slid between Josh’s thighs, the

tip of his thumb just ghosting over the head of Josh’s shaft and he nearly came in his jeans.

“Stop it,” Josh hissed. He’d just die if he shot in his pants with everyone around.

“Sorry,” Nick whispered in his ear, not sounding sorry in the least, but he did move

his hand down to rest on Josh’s knee.

“I like you,” Chance finally said when everyone was done laughing and talking. “And

if you’re a twink, well then, I guess I’ll have to rethink my stand on them.”

Josh considered giving a short lecture on labelling people but decided against it—and

he had sorta labelled Chance even if it had mostly been a joke. And besides… the guy liked

him. No way was Josh jeopardizing that. It was like a prize or something and he wasn’t

giving it back.

A couple of hours later, Josh surveyed the people sprawled in various relaxed poses in

the living room. Max and Bo had been invited over to meet Nick, and the three of them had

hit it off better than Josh had expected. Nick especially seemed to get along with Max, maybe

because they had both only recently discovered the truth about their sexuality, or maybe it

was just that both could be reserved and introspective. Or it could be all of those things or

none at all; it didn’t matter.

“One thing,” Annabelle piped up when there was a lull in the conversations. She

pointed at Justin first then Nick. “No more beating on each other.”

Nick blushed adorably but didn’t readily agree and neither did Justin. “I’m not

promising anything,” Justin said as he took Annabelle’s hand and nipped at her fingers.

“You know sometimes us guys like to work things out with our fists.”

Justin seemed to realise it was the wrong answer a split second after everyone else in

the room did. Annabelle’s eyes narrowed to slits as she pulled her hand free, thumping the

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end of Justin’s nose. “I’d say that’s because you haven’t got the sense to find an intelligent

way to deal with a disagreement.”

“Hey!” Justin blinked and rubbed his nose, his eyes watering. “You just reacted with

violence! That hurt!”

Annabelle snorted and rolled her eyes. “That was a love tap, not a punch, you baby.”

She leant in and placed a loud smacking kiss on Justin’s lips, then grinned when she pulled

back. “Better?”

“Hell yeah,” Justin rasped.

“Maybe you should thump him again,” Evan advised, planting a kiss first on

Annabelle’s lips then half-sprawling over her to do the same to Justin’s.

Josh cuddled closer to Nick, enjoying the love play between his friends until Chance

cleared his throat, drawing all the attention to him. He looked from Annabelle to Nick to

Max and Bo then back at Annabelle.

“You do realise, Annabelle, Evan, Justin, that there is potentially a solution for our

problem.” He flicked a glance at Nick. Rory was smiling at Chance like the man was the

centre of Rory’s universe—which Chance was, of course. Josh wondered if he had that same

love-struck expression when he looked at Nick. He gave it a test run, twisting until he could

look up into Nick’s dark eyes, his heart beating a slow th-thud before it shot into warp speed

at the expression on Nick’s face. And yeah, Josh was pretty sure he was mirroring it, basking

in the love flowing between him and Nick.

By the time he realised Chance was calling his and Nick’s name, Josh was ready to

drag Nick out of there and have his way with the man. He probably would have, too, if

Chance hadn’t snapped his name in a commanding tone that had Josh’s spine going as stiff

as his dick. Nick growled but Josh patted his chest softly. “Don’t, he wasn’t being an ass, and

I think I know what he has to say. Give him a…chance.”

Nick snorted and Chance rolled his eyes which sent Josh into a fit of giggles. Several

groans hit the air and someone threw a pillow at Josh, smacking him on his arm.

“All right already,” Nick said, “Let’s hear what Chance has to say.”

Everyone quieted down. Josh could see Annabelle fidgeting, which was just odd. Evan

and Justin must have thought so, too, because each man took one of her hands in his and

brought it to their mouths for a kiss.

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“We have a problem here,” Chance began, “In that Annabelle’s partners live an hour

away, and it’s difficult for the three of them with her living and working here. She’s been

able to cut back some, and we’ve looked…and looked for a suitable replacement, and you’d

think with the job market in the shitter that would be easy to do, but no. We need someone

with experience, someone we could trust, who would care about the success of this ranch like

Rory, Max, Annabelle, Bo and myself do. So, Rory and I were thinking, if you were

interested, Nick, and if Josh wouldn’t mind giving up his place, that you might consider

working here at our ranch. You two could either live here with us or in the bunkhouse with

Max and Bo, at least temporarily if it doesn’t suit y’all long term. Eventually we could build a

nice place just for y’all if you want. We were planning to do that for Max and Bo, too.”

Josh knew Nick wanted it as soon as Chance offered, and the hope that lit Rory’s face,

and Annabelle’s, and Justin and Evan’s—well, everyone’s, really—was just icing on the cake.

He would have been fine with Nick agreeing, but wasn’t surprised by Nick’s reply.

“Can I let you know in a few days? Josh and I need to talk it over, alone, and I don’t

want him to feel obligated to agree just to make everyone happy.”

Josh smiled when Nick looked at him then nearly melted into a puddle of mushy love

goo when Nick stroked his cheek tenderly and said, “You’re all I need to make me happy, so

don’t think saying no is going to make me unhappy. It won’t.”

Josh nodded, his vision blurring as his eyes began to sting. He refused to cry in front

of all these people no matter how much he cared about them, so he dug out a dash of

humour. “If we do end up here, do I get to handle the decorating?”

Max and Bo agreed quickly, claiming neither of them was any good with such stuff,

and Chance and Rory didn’t have a problem with it either. Annabelle, Justin, Evan and Nick,

however laughed until Josh was almost offended. The other four guys just looked confused

until Annabelle pointed at them one by one as she spoke.

“Guys, y’all have no idea what y’all just agreed to. I hope to God y’all like hot pink

everything and penguins, lots and lots of penguins!”

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Epilogue

Josh smoothed his hand down his ass, grinning at the thought of what the skin tight

hot pink leather pants would do to Nick. Josh had only worn them once before, and then,

well, he’d moved back here when he finished college. He hadn’t wanted to wear them to the

Xxchange, knowing they definitely gave him a ‘bend me over and fuck me nownownow!”

look. That wasn’t what Josh had wanted from anyone at the Xxchance until he met Nick, but

since they’d got off to a crappy start Josh hadn’t ever got the chance to wear the leather for

Nick.

But he had the chance now, and topped with the even tighter white T-shirt with

‘Magically Gaylicious’ on the front of it in, of course, bright glittery pink, Josh knew he’d

have Nick eating from the palm of his hand. Or, more likely and way better, from a part that

he and Nick both enjoyed filling Nick’s mouth with.

Josh tousled his hair until he got just the right look then slipped on a black pair of

ankle boots that had a square two inch heel. One last look and Josh was ready to go. He’d

asked Nick to meet him at the Xxchange since Nick had spent the day with his siblings and

Chance, visiting and going over what Chance and Rory expected from him once he started

working at the ranch—and making arrangements for them to move into the bunkhouse this

weekend. Josh couldn’t wait to decorate that place.

Josh locked up the apartment and practically sprinted to his car. It was dark outside,

and while he knew he looked good, he didn’t particularly want to run into anyone else. He

knew the neighbourhood he lived in was in the more crime riddled section of town and the

last thing he wanted was some thug seeing him and deciding it would be fun to engage in a

bout of gay bashing. That was just one of the reasons he was looking forward to moving.

Despite his refusal to accept a hand out from his brother, Josh had really wanted to move

away from this dump. Being afraid for his safety wasn’t something that he got a kick from,

and at the ranch, he wouldn’t have to worry about it if he wanted to run around in pink

leather pants or full out drag. Josh snickered over that; it’d be hilarious to see the guys’

reactions if he did that.

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The thought entertained him the whole drive to the Xxchange, helping to divert his

focus from the need coiling in his belly. He parked the car and hurried across the parking lot,

ignoring a few cat calls along the way. By the time he reached the doors he could feel the

music as well as hear it. The handle of the door was vibrating as was the ground under his

feet. Josh smirked. Conversation would definitely be out tonight, at least as long as they were

here. Although, he was very good at letting his body do the talking—

Josh gave his eyes a moment to adjust, which also gave some grabby hands enough

time to maul him. Slapping at a hand clasping his butt cheek, Josh turned and glared at a

cute little dark haired guy. The guy merely winked and blew him a kiss before walking off in

the direction of the dance floor. Josh made it another three steps inside before he was

grabbed from behind and jerked against a broad chest that he knew so well. Pinned in place

by two strong arms over his middle, Josh smiled and let his head fall back to rest on Nick’s

shoulder. He closed his eyes and drank in the sensation of being held, the scent of sweat and

musk that turned him on, and the low rumble of Nick’s voice. Josh couldn’t make out words,

but he could definitely feel those lovely lips brushing over his skin, up the side of his neck,

the sharp teeth nipping at his ear lobe. Josh reached back and grasped Nick’s hips, grinding

his ass against Nick’s thick erection.

Nick trailed a hand down Josh’s stomach, pausing at the button at his waist, then

lower still. Shock and lust roiled through Josh as Nick cupped his dick, squeezing with the

perfect mix of pain and pleasure. He hadn’t thought Nick would do, well, anything out in

public, but the hand on his dick and the rhythmic thrusting of Nick’s hips, the grinding of

that long, fat cock against Josh’s butt, proved he didn’t know as much about Nick’s kinks as

he’d thought. This could be very interesting.

The throbbing music stopped as someone in the band shouted out a call for requests.

Josh felt Nick’s tongue slick over the shell of his ear then delve inside. The warm, wet stroke

had him dangerously on edge, ready to come in his leather pants, which, no matter how

good it would feel, Josh really didn’t want to happen. He loved those pants. Of course, he

loved Nick, too, and feeling Nick shudder and pump his erection against Josh’s ass was

quickly destroying all Josh’s synapses.

“You want to stay here?” Nick asked, his voice thick and strained. “’Cause I gotta tell

you, if you do, I’m gonna end up fucking you in front of whoever wants to watch. And then

I’m gonna have to kick their asses for looking at you.”

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Now it was Josh’s turn to shudder. The idea of getting fucked with and audience

around had never appealed before, but— “No, not here.” This time, anyway. “Let’s just go.”

“We’ll take my truck, come back tomorrow for your car. I want you to suck me while I

drive us home.”

“Fuck.” Josh closed his eyes and took a shaky breath, struggling for a modicum of

control. “Okay, yeah, but you have to stop doing that,” Josh said as Nick gave his leather

clad dick a hard rub. “I can’t think when—oh!” Nick cupped his balls, pushing them up and

scrubbing his palm against the tightening sac. “Nick, stop, I can’t—”

Nick licked a spot low down on Josh’s neck then bit, and Josh yelped as cum flooded

his pants. Ecstasy exploded in his body, his balls burning with it, his ass clenching as heat

spread from his groin to his thighs and up to his chest.

“Open your eyes, baby, look what you’ve done.”

Josh pried his lids open at the quiet command and immediately went as pink as his

pants. Several men stood watching, their mouths open as they panted or called out for more.

Some were touching themselves, some were touching others, but all of them were watching

him hungrily. It actually kind of scared Josh a little, enough that the orgasm bliss fled as his

body tensed as if readying for an attack. He felt like dinner for a pride of starving lions.

“Relax, I won’t let anyone touch you.” Nick licked the spot he’d bitten then spun Josh

around, pressing Josh’s face to his shoulder as he held Josh tightly. “Mine,” Nick growled.

“We were just watching,” someone said behind Josh, “He is beautiful, more so when

he comes.” The owner of that voice sounded wistful, not angry at all, which helped Josh to

relax just a bit. “I don’t blame you for not sharing. I sure wouldn’t. Come on, guys.”

Josh kept his face hidden even as Nick shifted him to Nick’s side and led them back

out of the club.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to embarrass you, I just couldn’t stop touching you.”

Josh peered up and saw the regret in Nick’s dark eyes and felt an answering pang of

regret himself. He stopped and cupped Nick’s face when the man did the same.

“You didn’t embarrass me,” Josh told him, willing Nick to believe him. “It turned me

on. The only reason I was trying not to come was because I wanted to avoid the dry cleaning

bill for these, but trust me, it was worth it.”

Nick didn’t look convinced, a frown pulling down the lips Josh wanted to taste. “You

sure seemed embarrassed in there when you saw the men watching.”

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Josh nodded once. No use lying. “I was, but God, Nick you have no idea how horny it

made me, too. Feel.” Josh grabbed Nick’s hand and shoved it between them, pressing it

against his shaft. “I was embarrassed, scared even, and it made me so hard it’s like I haven’t

come in days.”

“Oh,” Nick rasped, on eyebrow winging up his forehead. “So you were embarrassed

and scared and it…it turned you on?”

“Like a damned spotlight, lit me right up,” Josh confessed. “I was thinking before that

I didn’t know all your kinks, but apparently I don’t know all mine, either.”

Nick’s grin was slow and sexy and set a fire burning low in Josh’s belly. “Ah, got it.

This is something we definitely need to explore.”

Josh bobbed his head in agreement. “Yeah, but not tonight. Tonight I want it hard and

fast, so deep I can taste you, so hard I can feel you for days. And,” Josh added when Nick’s

moan ended, “I want you to fuck me bare. Got our results back this afternoon.”

“Goddamn, let’s go.”

Josh started to turn only to be jerked back and pressed chest to chest with Nick. His

lover crushed his mouth down on Josh’s, plundering, bruising, demanding. By the time the

kiss ended, Josh was ready to forget his plans for waiting until they got home. He was ready

to lay down right there in the parking lot, or maybe bend over the tail gate of Nick’s truck—

“Home,” Nick gritted out. “Get to the truck.” He slapped Josh’s ass hard enough to

sting then turned him back towards the parking lot. “And hurry, baby.”

* * * *

Nick was trying and succeeding, barely, to keep from fucking Josh then and there. He

unlocked the truck and practically tossed Josh inside then unfastened his jeans and shoved

his own jeans and underwear down, not giving a damn if anyone saw his ass. It made getting

in the truck hard, but the anticipation sparking in Josh’s eyes, the way his younger lover

licked his lips as if hungering to taste Nick’s cock, made the difficult clamber into the truck

worth it. Nick barely managed to get the truck started before Josh shoved his face under

Nick’s arm. The first stroke of that hot little tongue over the slit of Nick’s cock nearly made

his eyes cross. Nick took one hand off the steering wheel and buried his fingers in Josh’s silky

hair as Josh flicked his tongue over the slit again.

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“Come on, baby, don’t tease, suck it.” Then Nick couldn’t talk any more, could hardly

even breath as Josh swallowed Nick’s cock down, the head edging into Josh’s throat. The

squeeze of muscles contracting around his crown was driving Nick insane, and he knew this

was going to be over quick. Josh managed to get a hand between them, tickling fingers over

Nick’s balls, which felt good, yeah, but when Josh pulled at the sparse hair covering his sac,

Nick had to stop the truck. He pulled into a convenience store parking lot and shouted as

Josh’s throat muscles clenched, as his nimble fingers plucked and pulled. Josh backed off as

Nick’s shaft spouted out the first volley of spunk, catching it on his tongue. He proceeded to

lick and suck until Nick was a quivering mass of satiated, mindless goo then continued to

suck more, bringing Nick back to full hardness in a matter of minutes.

Then very nearly sending him right back over the edge. “Stop, stop,” Nick gasped,

tugging at Josh’s hair. “I wanna come inside your tight little ass next time.”

Josh hummed around his mouthful of dick but finally let off with a lewd, wet slurp.

He sat up and pressed a salty kiss to Nick’s lips then scooted over to buckle himself into the

passenger seat. Josh cocked an eyebrow at him. “Well? What are you waiting for?”

“Smart ass,” Nick grumbled even as he grinned. “Had to give my brain cells a second

to revive. You about sucked ‘em right out my dick.”

“Hmm. Guess I’ll have to try harder next time.”

Nick snorted. “If you try any harder, you’ll flat out kill me.” Or the drive back to the

apartment might do it. He needed Josh, bad.

Nick parked his truck then got out, tugging on Josh’s hand to get him to follow and

exit out the driver’s side. Before Josh could step down, Nick wrapped an arm around his

waist and hauled Josh over his shoulder. He really liked carrying Josh like this, probably due

to some lingering Cro-Magnon or Neanderthal DNA still floating around in him. Or it could

just be that he loved the way it put that biteable ass right there—Nick turned his head and

nipped a firm flank. Josh yelped and promptly demanded Nick do it again, so he did.

It was a wonder they made it up the stairs and inside the apartment without one or

both of them getting hurt. Nick lowered Josh to the floor then shoved him against the door,

pinning his lover hard for another fierce kiss. Their hands batted and tugged, each trying to

get the other undressed. Nick finally snarled in frustration when he couldn’t peel the pink

leather down fast enough. He stepped back and began toeing off his boots. “Get naked.

Now.”

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Josh didn’t so much as giggle, his green eyes almost wholly black, the pupils were so

widely blown. He stripped with abrupt jerky movements, the need evident in is every shaky

breath, his trembling hands, and his swollen dripping cock. Nick had never seen a more

beautiful sight in his life, and as he took Josh into his arms, Nick knew he would never let

this man go.

* * * *

As soon as Josh kicked away the last of his clothes, wincing only when he pried the

leather away from his cummy groin, Nick was there, folding him into an embrace so tender

and contrary to the burning, raging passion that had been flaring in the man moments

before.

Josh looked up and gasped at the love he was so clearly etched in his lover’s

expression. What had started out as a wild hot fuck had somehow in the space of a few

heartbeats, turned into something more. Nick smiled and Josh was flooded with so much

love, affection, desire—just so much. He sighed into the gentle brush of lips then opened for

Nick when his tongue teased over the seam of Josh’s lips. Josh clung to Nick, closing his eyes

and trusting Nick to keep him upright, because Josh was sure his joints had all turned to

jelly.

“Bed,” Nick murmured against Josh’s lips. Josh nodded, or maybe he twitched, he

couldn’t be sure of what he did, but nick obviously got the message because Josh soon found

himself hefted onto Nick’s broad shoulder again. The scrape of teeth against his butt cheek

made Josh yelp, made his thighs quiver, but he practically purred when Nick did it again.

Josh expected to be tossed onto the bed and was surprised when Nick slowly slid him

down, dragging his body against Nick’s in a sensuously wicked way that rocked Josh to his

core. Before he could recover, Nick lowered him to the bed on his back. He pushed Josh’s

legs up, bending them so that his heels touched his ass, then knelt on the floor between Josh’s

feet.

“So beautiful,” Josh heard Nick murmur, then a soft, wet flicker below his balls made

Josh squeal in surprise and delight.

“Nick, what are you—” Definitely a tongue, all wet and slick, and—“God, God, Nick! You

don’t—” Josh gasped and clenched the sheets tight in his fists as he felt that tongue laving

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over his hole once, twice. A nip at the wrinkled skin ripped a shout of approval from Josh as

disco lights lit up the back sides of his eyelids. “G-guhhnn!” was the best he could manage

when the tip of Nick’s tongue pushed into him. Josh’s balls drew up tight, his cock bobbed,

and he didn’t want to come, not yet, not when it meant an end to this. Frantic to stop his

release, Josh grabbed the base of his shaft and squeezed until it hurt.

Nick slid his hands under him, spreading Josh’s cheeks, then Josh howled as Nick

sank his tongue in deeper, harder, fucking the slick muscle into him over and over until Josh

was on the verge of having to pull his dick off to keep from coming.

“Nick, please,” Josh forced himself to speak, forced his brain to send out the order for

his body to send out words when all his body wanted to do was yell and scream through his

climax. He managed to get a hand into Nick’s hair, jerking hard enough to get his lover’s

attention. “Up. In me.” And he was pretty much out of words then, but Nick stood after

licking from Josh’s hole to the tip of his leaking cock. Josh closed his eyes and tried to gather

some self-control as he heard Nick getting the lube. The cool drizzle of the stuff down his

balls made him squeal and open his eyes. Nick shot him a wicked grin then smeared the lube

lower, coating Josh’s opening.

“You want fingers first, or…” Nick trailed off, watching him closely.

Josh was glad Nick asked, because most of the times Josh didn’t, but sometimes he

did. Right now was a ‘most of the times’, because he wanted nick in him now, wanted to feel

the stretch and burn for days.

Instead of answering, Josh sat up and grabbed Nick’s lean hips, digging his fingers

hard into the taut ass cheeks. He pulled and Nick tumbled forward, catching himself with his

hands above Josh’s shoulders even as he took possession of Josh’s mouth once again. Josh

moaned into the kiss and hitched his legs up, winding them around Nick’s hips, grasping at

the broad shoulders, thrusting to rub their cocks together.

“Needy, baby?” Nick asked, “I know I am.” Nick ground his cock harder against

Josh’s.

Josh whimpered, his eyes drooping shut as pleasure shot through his body, teasing

every nerve to life. He felt Nick shift, the slippery rub of Nick’s blunt crown pressing against

Josh’s hole, then Nick pushed, moaning as his cockhead breached Josh’s opening, stretching

it wide. Josh wiggled, wanting more, only to stop when Nick growled. Apparently he wasn’t

the only one on edge.

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Nick moved Josh’s legs up, nearly bending him in half. “Put your legs over my

shoulders, baby.”

Josh grumbled, sounds not words, and he wondered how it was that nick was still

coherent. He positioned his legs and felt Nick stiffen, withdraw slightly.

“Yessss,” Josh hissed, croaking the one word as Nick slammed his dick in Josh’s ass.

“Look at me,” Nick ordered, and Josh forced himself to comply. He looked up into

Nick’s eyes as Nick held still deep inside him. Their raspy breaths cut harsh sounds in the air,

but Josh hardly noticed. All that mattered was the look in Nick’s eyes, the one that promised

love for a lifetime and beyond, and the thick cock in Josh’s ass that pulsed with every beat of

Nick’s heart.

“I love you, Josh, so much,” Nick murmured, ending the declaration with a kiss so

sweet it made Josh’s eyes sting. He opened his mouth to reply only to keen when Nick pulled

out and buried his dick to the hilt. “I know,” Nick said when Josh would have tried again. “I

do.”

And Josh saw that Nick did know how much he was loved. It was there in the way he

touched Josh, the words and kisses, the looks and soft demands their bodies made. Josh held

tightly to Nick as Nick began steadily thrusting, each stroke in fast and fierce, each withdraw

slower, as if Nick didn’t want to leave the confines of Josh’s body. Nick pressed against Josh,

his ridged stomach giving Josh’s dick some friction. Josh clenched his inner muscles in

response, sending fiery bolts of pleasure up his spine. His balls were still pulled tight, his

body covered in a fine sheen of sweat. Nick dipped his head and bit at one of Josh’s nipples,

a sharp, hard sting of pain and Josh was lost, screaming as his cock pulsed, spraying spunk

between them, on them.

Nick answered with a snarl as he clutched at Josh’s ass with one hand, lifting his butt

up so Nick could ram into him harder, deeper. Josh wasn’t much help, he was pretty sure

everything in him had melted. He tried to squeeze those inner walls again, and judging by

Nick’s shout, by the almost vicious plunge of Nick’s cock into the very depths of Josh’s ass,

he must have succeeded spectacularly. Nick grunted and jerked his hips in short, erratic

moves as Josh felt the first spurt of warm cum coat his inner walls.

Josh couldn’t help it, he whimpered with each jet of spunk that filled him. He wished

he could keep it there deep inside him forever, as gross at it may have sounded to anyone

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else. It was proof of their love and commitment to each other, and Josh treasured this, the

first time Nick came inside him.

“God, baby,” Nick gasped, shuddering, grinding his pelvis against Josh’s ass. Josh

nodded and reached up to cup Nick’s face. He let his legs slide down to Nick’s elbows, then

Nick dipped his head and kissed Josh, a soft, sweet kiss full of love and promises for their life

together.

About the Author

A native Texan, Bailey spends her days spinning stories around in her head, which
has contributed to more than one incident of tripping over her own feet. Evenings are
resounds for pounding away at the keyboard, as are the early morning hours. Sleep?
Doesn’t happen much. Writing is too much fun, and there are too many characters
bouncing about, tapping on Bailey’s brain, demanding to be let out.

Caffeine and chocolate are permanent fixtures in Bailey’s office and are never far from
hand at any given time. Removing either of those necessities from Bailey’s presence
can result in what is known as A Very, Very Scary Bailey and is not advised under any
circumstances.

Email:

[e-mail]

Bailey loves to hear from readers. You can find her contact information, website and
author biography at

http://www.total-e-bound.com

.

Also by Bailey Bradford

Southwestern Shifters: Rescued

Southwestern Shifters: Relentless

Southwestern Shifters: Reckless

Southern Spirits: A Subtle Breeze

Southern Spirits: When the Dead Speak

Southern Spirits: All of the Voices

Southern Spirits: Wait Until Dawn

Southern Spirits: Aftermath

Southern Spirits What Remains

Love in Xxchange: Rory’s Last Chance

Love in Xxchange: Miles To Go

Love in Xxchange: Bend

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