InTheRing

RIEWARREN

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the

author ’simaginationorareusedfictitiously,andanyresemblancetoactualpersons,livingordead,
events,orlocalesisentirelycoincidental.

IntheRing
Copyright©2016byRieWarren

Allrightsreserved.Thisbookoranyportionthereofmaynotbereproducedorusedinanymanner
whatsoeverwithouttheexpresswrittenpermissionoftheauthorexceptfortheuseofbriefquotations.

https://www.riewarren.com

Warren,Rie.
IntheRing/RieWarren–1

1.ContemporaryRomance—Fiction.2.AlphaMale—Fiction.3.M/M—Fiction.4.Erotica—Fiction.5.

SportsRomance—Fiction.I.Title

ASIN:B01M734G3V

CoverDesign
ByPinkInkDesigns

http://www.pinkinkdesigns.com

Editing
ByGillyWright

http://www.gillywright.com

ChapterThirty-Two

ChapterThirty-Three

ChapterThirty-Four

ChapterThirty-Five

ChapterThirty-Six

ChapterThirty-Seven

ChapterThirty-Eight

ChapterThirty-Nine

ChapterOne

SuckerPunch

I’D GROWN UP FIGHTING in the streets on the West Side of Cincinnati. Yeah, I was the typical

hardnosedruntfromthefamilywithtoomanykidstofeed.Fromtheinnercityandthewrongsideof

thetracks,I’dbeenbulliedandbeatentoabloodypulpuntilHailMarysdidn’tevenpassmyswollen

lips.

Younameit.I’dsurvivedit.

DuringmyteenyearsIbecameabruiser.Youcouldonlytakesomanypunchestothefacebefore

youdecidedbeefingupandblastingbackwasyoursavinggrace.Iwasn’tabully.Iwastheunderdog

whofuckedupthebullieswho’dmademychildhoodalivingnightmare.WhenIwasdonewiththem,

theirfaceslookedalotlessprettyandawholelotmorepulverized.Amen.

I’d shared a room with my kid brother Conor in our railroad house in East Price Hill. When I

wasn’tliftingweights—AKAtheconcreteblocksusedtoraisethebrokendownChevyImpalaoffthe

groundinourmeaslymuddybackyard—Iwasabookworm.Icertainlydidn’tletthatpieceofnerd-

dommakethemiddleschoolgossipring.

TheonlytimeIworemyglasseswaswhenmynosewasshovedinsideanovel.I’dspendallday

at school squinting at my textbooks rather than wearing my bug-eyed, black-framed, cheaper-than-

shitglasses.Iputupwithpoundingheadachesinsteadofmoreteasing.

I read fantasy stuff. My addiction started with Choose Your Own Adventure books before I

graduatedtothebigboyslikeTerryPratchettandTolkien.Iusedmylibrarycarduntilthemagnetic

stripworeoff.ThepubliclibraryonWarsawwassomeplacesafe.

I discovered another interest there, one I explored in the musty dark recesses of the library’s

shelves.Ibecameafavoriteofthelibrariansuntilonegrandmotherlytypefoundmewhackingoffin

the locked-down cage that held the art collection. Otherwise known as erotica. Specifically—in my

caseofgettingcaughtred-handedandred-faced—booksofRobertMapplethorpe’sphotography.

Hisnudesofwomenandofmenandofmenwithmenwerebadnewsintheeyesofsocietyand

definitelythoseofmycity,myparish,myCatholic-to-the-corefamily.Ifiguredoutearlyongettinga

hard-onfromlookingattheblackandwhitephotosofmuscledmenwrappedaroundoneanotherwas

wrong.

Jerkingthepudoverhomosexualstuffwasbad.

Iwasright,foronce.

At the age of fifteen, I stowed that shit away and read Hustler instead of whatever homo

masturbating material I might be able to find. Boobs instead of balls. Babes instead of buff men.

During my final high school years, I kept up the weightlifting. I made my grades. I woke my mom

every morning so she could get to the bakery on time. I cooked for my siblings and checked their

homework. Meanwhile, Da siphoned away the money as if he had a spigot in the top of his ever-

presentbottleofJameson’s.Bytheageofseventeen,IhatedeveryonenamedJamesorJamie.

Ihatedmydamore.

WhenIturnedeighteenandgraduatedfromhighschool,collegewasout.

Dirtycagefightingwasin.UFCwasallthefuckingrage.

It wasn’t hard to make a name for myself. I had distinct coloring. I was the fighting Irish. I

wouldn’tgodownnomatterhowhardIwashit,becausebackstreetbeatingshadtaughtmetotakea

lickingandkeeponhitting.

Ialsoneverlostafight.Myfollowingofgreenback-bettingfans,fromhardcorecagejunkiesto

industrialplantbossestothehigher-upsinthefoodchainofthefightingbiz,multipliedwithevery

appearance.Iquicklylearnedhowtomakeabuckwithmyfastfistsandstomach-connectingkicks.It

wasaclosecombatmish-mashofeverythingI’dpickeduponthestreetsorbywatchingvideos.What

IlackedinprofessionalmartialartstrainingImadeupforinsheerbloodyguts.

Theruleswerelimitedoncelockedinthecage,andthatsuitedmywhat-the-fuck-upbringingtoa

T. The nights were long, the abandoned warehouses packed to the gills, the atmosphere one-part

exclusivenightclubandthree-partselectricFightClub.

I always left a fat envelope of dollar bills at the house, under my sister Mary-Kate’s pillow. I’d

sneak back out before anyone woke, while dawn chased my heels and blood streaked from my

knucklesafteranothernightofbare-fistedbrawling.

The chicks came at me a dime a dozen as soon as I hit the underground ring. Thankfully, the

fightingmanagersgottomefasterthanthewomen.SlimyfuckwitsIknewhowtohandle.Hot-for-a-

fuck broads—complete with tits and pussies—were out of my league and getting nowhere near my

bed. Not now, not ever, and not after Margaret Morrissey let me take her virginity when we were

sixteen.

Badmistake.

Ihadn’tbeenabletocome.She’dbledandcried.Theworstofitwas,insteadofherprettysofttits

androundedhipsandgentlekisses,Ilongedfortheimpactofahard-muscled,extreme-fucking,male

machinetomatchmystrengthpoundforpoundforpounding.

Notawoman.Aman.

AtleastIgotthatinthecage.Minusthefuckingthatwas,unlessIcountedgettingmyfacefucked

up.

Talkaboutawkwardtosaytheleastwhentheendgoalwastoprocreate.Alot.Inthenameofthe

Father,theSon,andtheHolySpirit.

Beinggaywouldputanendtomyrisingcareerasabig-hittingboxer.

Sothesex-thingwithone-specific-guy-thingwouldbeabadmoveonmypart.

Tonight was different. It was a complete one-eighty from my cage fighting glory and even my

pasttwoyearsofprofessionalboxingbouts.I’dfinallymadeitfromCinCitytoSinCity.

Nerves gnawed holes in my guts. I’d picked up a manager, a coach, groupies . . . a trainer. I’d

learnedtheropesthehardwayuntilIwastwo-hundred-nineteenpoundsofmeanripplingmuscle.

I’d earned every pain, every bruise, every laceration. I’d pushed my body harder than humanly

possible.

This wasn’t street brawling or UFC. The ranks closed the higher I climbed, tighter and tighter

untilthey’dspitmeouthere.Intheheartofglittering,over-the-topLasVegas.

I’dskyrocketedinmyweightclassfromhumbleain’tgotadimeoragoddamnchancebeginnings

tobeingarealcontenderfortheheavyweightbelt.Tonightwasn’tamajortitlefight,butitwasmajor

shittome.Iwasundefeated,goingupagainstanotherundefeatedmotherfucker.Ijustneededtoknock

himoutcoldtocontinuemysupersonicrise.

Itriedtowigglemyfingersinsidethebigblackgloves—myknucklestaped,myhandswrapped.I

jogged in place, swallowing down the feeling I needed to hock up half my stomach and maybe my

liver, too. Lights blinded my eyes, beaming at me where I stood between Sean and Michael just

outsidethering.MypicturewentupontheJumboTron,andthepeopleinthepackedarenawentwild.

Myheartplungedthensoared.Mylegsturnedtomeltedrubber.Itwassurreal.NotinaSalvador

Dali sort of way because—yeah—I’d been to the MOMA, and I kinda dug that painting shit. It was

goddamnmind-bendythatallthesepeople,thiscrowd,washereforme.Chantingmyname.Punching

their fists to the air where big name sponsor banners covered the entire ceiling like the audience

sprawlingovereverysquareinchoftheauditorium.

Michaellookedatme.

Iignoredthepoutofhisbottomlipandthewayheleanedcloser.Hismouthlandednearmyear,

sendingshiversalongmybodyanddownbeneathmynewsatinEverlastshorts.

“Youokay?”

Inodded.

InsideIshook.Seismicplateshook.

Fuckandme.

MichaelFairweatherwaswaytooconcernedaboutthestateofmywell-beingandstandingmuch

toocloseforthestateofthehardcupconstrictingmyswellingcock.

Michael.Mytrainer.

I called him Mikey when I fantasy-fucked him at night, all alone, because—you know—I had a

toughguyimagetoupholdevenwhenallIwantedwasmydickengulfedbyhisrockhardass.The

most perfect motherfucking posterior ever made. The hard-flexing butt I dreamed about eating out

whileIdidmirroredsquatswithhiminthegym.

Michaelwant-him-to-be-mineFairweatherwaseverythingIwasn’t.He’dbeenacollegeathleteon

thescholarshipgravytrainheadingtowardprosoccerfame.Hison-the-fieldopportunitiescametoa

screechinghaltwhenhe’dsufferedacareer-endinginjury.Afterthat,he’dturnedtohisotherpassion.

Makingmycockhardtwenty-four-seven.Ormaybethatwasmypassion,sinceMichaeldidn’thavea

goddamncluewhathedidtome.

Hetrainedboxers.Biglugslikeme.He’dbeenafansincehisfathertookhimtotheChávez vs.

Taylor fight in 1990—the fucking Fight of the Decade. Unable to pursue his dream, he now fully

investedinmine.

Andhedefinitelymadeabigshowinginallmywetdreams.

Michael had a Colgate smile, winning charm, and more balls than me even though mine felt

engorgedandheavy,careoftheslightestbrushofhismoistmouthagainstmyear.

Andhedoesn’tevenhaveaclue.

Withdancinggrayeyes,wavygoldenhair,ateasewitheveryone,Mikeywasmytotalopposite.I

was broody. He was breezy. I was a foul-mouthed bastard raised on the streets, and he had health,

wealth,andwow-powerwheneverhesmiled.

Ipreferredtoglare.

HepissedmeoffbecauseIwantedtohoponandridehimintothemattressuntilhescreamedmy

nameandcreamedinmyfist.

ButIcouldn’t.

Numberone:hewasaprofessional,andhethoughtIwasonehundredpercentstraightandgetting

laideverynight,becauseIwassuchavag-loving,machoman-whore.

Numbertwo:Iwashisboss.

Numberthree:moralsandshitlikethat.Whatever.

Numberfour:Iwasn’tout.Icouldneverbeout.Likeneverevereverevertothemax.

Great.Sogreat.Fuckingawesomeheadspaceforahugefight.Withmyheadupmyasswishing

mycockwasupMikey’s,whenhiswasunattainableandIwasfaux-hetero.

Ididn’thaveanymoretimetojerkoffoverwhatif.Tonightallthesportsnetworksrepresented.

Vegaswasbigtime.I’dmadeit.NowIjustneededtowin.

Blindedbythespotlightsanddeafenedbytheroaringspectators,Ihoppeduptotheropes.Going

fromno-holds-barredbruisertorule-abidingboxerhadbeenalessoninOhmyfuckingGod,really?I

can’tmakethembleedout?

AllthedisciplineatMichaelandSean’shandspaidoff,andmaybe,justmaybe,we’dhitpaydirt

tonight.

Scantily dressed babes stomped around the ring in high, high, high heels matched by towering

massesofdyedblondhairontheirheads:Bindie,whowasbendy,andAnyathedark-hairedhottie—

beneath her wig anyway—from the Ukraine, who’d been on the astronaut track before the Russian

FederalSpaceAgencykilledherprogram.

Behindtheflashystar-spangledscene,multilingualAnyaworeglassesperchedonhernoseandan

iPadonherlapasshestudiedaeronautics.

Neither woman attracted me. Nor did any of the female spectators who flashed T and A in my

directionoraskedforsaidboobsandbuttstobesigned.

Then there was Michael. He’d wrapped my hands in gauze and tied my tongue into knots at the

sametime.He’dpushedtheglovesovermyhandsandmadesuretheywerecomfy.

NowheliftedtheropesoIcouldduckunder.

“Herewego,champ.”Hepattedmeontherump.

ThemomentIsteppedintothering,everythingclickedintoplace.

Fight.Honor.Win.

ChapterTwo

SinCity

“IN THE RIGHT CORNER, he’s come to fight for fame and glory! From the mean streets of El

Salvador,theundefeatedEnriqueElLeónHernandez!”

Enrique pounded his padded fists together before lifting them to the air. It was all about the

showboatingbeforethrowingitdown.

Therip-roaringannouncerturnedhisattentiontome.

Spotlightsscorchedmyskin.

“And to my left, in green and orange trunks, weighing in at two hundred and nineteen pounds,

cominguptheranksundefeated,withfourteenwins,allknockouts,nodraws...”Themanheldhis

breathasgoosepimplesreplacedthecoldpricklesonmyskin.“Ladiesandgentlemen,THEBONNY

BRUISER!TheIrishBlight!LiamOoooo’Shaughnessy!!”

Therewasno‘Ooooo’tomynameunlessyoucountedtheKOsundermysoon-to-be-beltifIkept

upmywinningstreak.IwassimplyLiamShaughnessy,butmymanagerlikedtheaddition.“Make’em

knowyou’respitting,sparringIrish.Oldschool.They’lllapitup!”

I dropped my robe, and Michael passed it to Sean. Michael lifted his hands to my shoulders,

rubbing and patting me. I was already sweat-slicked and oiled up. My body gleamed like the satiny

robethathadcoveredmymassiveupperbodyfromview.

CameraflashesdizziedmesoIloweredmyeyes.

Adrenalinepumped.

Myheartbeatthumped.

Ibeatmychest,rilinguptheaudience.Mikeyspritzedwateroverme.Ibouncedonmyfeetand

thrustmyglovedhandsintheair.

Aclose-upofmyback—mymusclesripplingbeneaththelargerthanlifetat—shotupontheTron.

Thehugeshoulder-to-shoulderwingswereinkedinblack,thelightblueletteringcurlingthroughout:

OnaWingandaPrayer.Thatwasmylargesttattoo,theoneI’dgottenaftermyfirstKObecauseI

wasdoingthisshitbypuregutsanddeterminationalone.

Ineededadamnwingandaprayeronmyside.

Theinkthathadbeenmycage-fightingriteofpassagewasaCelticcrossovermyleftpectoral,

rightwheremyheartbeat.Thelatestandmostbosstatwasthered,black,andorangedragoncurling

up my entire right arm. It breathed fire. Its fangs were bared. It looked badass, but it called to the

fantasy-lovinggeekinme.

Just as my manager Devlin predicted, the crowd lapped it up. I had the Celtic good looks fans

loved.Femalefans,thatwas.Pureblackhair,snappingblueeyes,cleftchin,andabodythatcould’ve

been stamped from iron or sculpted from stone. The men approved of my bruising fists, and the

backerslikedmyno-nonsense,mop’emupwins.

Beforeleavingthering,Michaelremovedthesilvercrossfromaroundmyneck.Hepocketedthe

chainandpattedmeontheassonelasttime.Iwarmedupwhilekeepingmyheaddown,focusingon

thequietbubbleofconcentrationinside.

When I glanced at Michael again, his face was equally blank. His lips usually set in a firm line

when I fought. This time he nodded his head at me and quirked a grin. It was a silent gesture that

basicallytoldmetoswabthedeckwithmyopponent’sface.

Did I like beating the shit out of other men to make a living? I liked making a living, period.

Wasn’tthatlongagoIhadtopawnmywintercoatandthoughtaboutdealingpottomakeendsmeet

soIcouldpayformycrappytwo-roomapartmentontopofaChinesetake-outwithenoughleftover

tosendhometomymom.

Itookprideinmysport.Iwasgracioustofansanddidthecharitything.Youneverknewwhen

you’dbeonthelosingsideoflife.

Fighttowin.Fighttosurvive.Fightforthesportofitandalwaysbeasportsman,winorlose.

Takethehits,fists,cuts,andblood,andcomebackatyouropponentlikeanunstoppablefreight

train.

The referee beckoned Hernandez and me into the middle of the ring. It was in the center of the

ringthateverythingelseshutoffforme.Ididn’thavetopretendtobeanythingotherthanwhatIwas.

Afightingmachine.

Ref drew our gloved hands together and said a quiet prayer while El León and I glared at one

another.

He let us go with a warning and a final benediction I could get behind. “Fight hard, fight clean,

andgoodlucktothebothofyou.”

Wereturnedtooursidesforthefinalmomentsbeforethebellrang.

Dingdingding.

Showtime.Firstround,eleventogo.ThreeminuteseachtomakeHernandezbleed.

Iboundedoutofmycornerwithahop,skip,splatrightatElLeón’sribs.Helumberedbackon

hisfeet,leavinghisfacewideopen.Openinvitationtogoathimwithaseriesofhitstothefaceand

chest.

Bodyshotsgetmorepoints.Jab,hook,andwatchhimbruise.

The olive-skinned shit had stamina that drew out our bout from the third to the sixth round. He

bouncedbacklikeafuryfrommyinitialblastandworkedonmyribsfirst,myfacesecond.

Between the sixth and seventh rounds, Michael knelt before my stool. He removed my

mouthguard and shoved the spit bucket beneath my face. He leaked liquid from the bright green

Gatoradebottleintomymouth.

“Irishblight,huh?”

“Onlytothegirls.”Iwinkedwithmyswolleneye.

Hewinced.

Butseriously,Imeantthatshitforreal.JustaskMargaretMorrissey.

Thebellrang,andwewerebackatit.

EnriquehuggedtheropeswhileIwindmilledawayathismidsection.Nothingprettyaboutthisbut

fuckit.I’dboxhisbrainsintomushtowin.

“Breakitup.Breakitup!”Therefintervened.

ElLeónwheezed.Istoodoffinthemiddle,breathingheavily.Thescreaming,yellingcrowdcame

acrossasamuffledroarinmyears.MaybemygraymatterhadbeenMerryMixeredfromhisearlier

hits.

Asmybodytookthepunches,myheadswamwithpain.Ilosttrackoftherounds.Ionlyhopedto

remaincleanenoughandaggressiveenoughtocontrolthisfightlongenoughtoknockthisshitoutor

scorehigherwiththejudges.

Hernandezadvancedonme.BeforeIspunawayhelandedanotherbreath-stealer.

SLAM!

Itookthatpowerpunchtomyribs.

I straightened up from stooping over faster than Hernandez expected. Catching him by surprise

withanuppercut,Ifollowedupwithleft,right,left,rightjabstohistorso.

Mybodywasnumb.Myvisionblurry.Myearstingled,too.Ormaybethatwasthebellsignaling

anotherroundover.

Ohyeah,thatwaswhatitwas.Timeforsixtysecondsofrelief.

Puttingonashowalthoughmylungssanksomewheredownaroundmyknees,Ijoggedacrossthe

mat. The fans might’ve gone wild. I didn’t have a fucking clue. Sweat made my vision swirly. That

probablyhadsomethingtodowiththelacerationswellingmyeyebrow,too.Andhearing?Well,who

reallyneededthatanyway?

IwatchedMichaelasheliftedthestoolovertheropesandpushedmeontoit.

Jesus,heisbeautiful.

AtleastIcouldstillfocusonhim.

Every short second in my corner was a lifeline with Michael. Gentle but fast, he

squirted/bandaged/putgooonmycuts.Evenso,everybrushofhisfingerscausedaboltofarousalto

spreadtomygroin.ItwasagoodthingIwaswrappedtight—myhandsinyardsoftapeaswellasmy

hard-ontryingtoforminsidemycup.

Insteadoffullthrottlearousal,adrenalinerushedthroughme,pumpingmeup.

Sean screaming in my ear pumped me up even more. “Hold those fists tight. Protect your eye.

Whaddafuckyoudoin’outthere?”

“DoyouthinkheevenspeaksEnglish?”IaskedMichael.

Michael’sloudlaughwasworththecrackIearnedfromSean’sopenpalmtothebackofmyhead.

“Thespicisweakonhisrightside.Gofordaguts.Gofordaglory.”Sean’svoicedroppedtoa

cigar-roughenedgrowl.“Wipethatmuthafuckin’matwithhim,Bruiser.”

Ding,Ding,Ding!

Funny,thatsoundusedtomeansomeonewasservingdinnerinthehood.Nowitsignaledmytime

toserveupsomeElLeón.

Primedandready,Iblastedoutofmycorner.ThattimeIhitHernandezsofasthegotnorecovery

time.IjackedthatmotherfuckerupthesamewayI’ddotoanydickheadwhoscrewedwithoneofmy

sisters.

My fists blurred and before I knew it, Enrique Hernandez collapsed flat out to take a long

rubberizednapbeneathme.

Therefcautionedmetoaneutralcornerthentookoverthetimekeeper ’sknockoutcountdown.

Witheverynumberheshouted,Igotcloserandclosertovictory.

Hernandezdidn’tmove.

Ivibratedinthecorner,readytoleapbackintoactionifIhadto.

Whenthereffinallyreachedthemagicnumber,Irushedintocenterringwhereheyankedmyarm

up.

“THE WINNER IN THIS BOUT BETWEEN THE SPANISH LION AND THE IRISH BLIGHT,

LIAMOooooo’SHAUGHNESSY!”

Screams,yells,shouts!

Cameraflashes,videocameras,acrowdofmicsshovedinmyface.

ButIdidn’thearagoddamnwordastheseethingexcitementspunoverme.

Beatup,swollenallover,andsweatinglikeafuckingpig,Igrinnedatthecrowd.

WhenMichaelvaultedinsidetheringandgrabbedmyfacebetweenhishands,Iforgotallabout

thehardhitsbecauseadifferentkindofpunchwentstraighttomyheart.

Hekissedmeonthegoddamnlips,justlikethat.

Itwastoofast,andhewassmiling.Therewasnotongueaction,andIcouldn’tgripthebackofhis

neckbecauseofthefriggingglovesmakingmyhandsbiggerthancementblocks.

Dazedwhenheletmego,Ilickedmylips.Hiseyeshooded,hewatchedtheaction.Shakinghis

headandcheering,hegrabbedmywristandraisedithigh.

Sowhatever,Michaelhadkissedme.Itwasabigwin.Thatwasall.Hewashappy.

Everythingafterthatpointwasflashbulbwhitewithpeoplerightinmyfaceuntilweleftthering.

On the way out of the arena, I stopped—half-dead on my feet—to pose for photos with fans for

Twitter,Facebook,Instagram.

I refused to sign titties though, not that I even could with the boxing gloves still on. That didn’t

stoptheladies,andwhenthefirstbreastwasbaredformeSeanhootedandholleredwhileMichael’s

faceclosedup.Hemotionedmynewbehemothbodyguardstocreateahumantunnelallthewaytothe

lockerroom.

Michael wore loose nylon pants that clung to his perfect ass, which sloped up and down as he

walkedinfrontofme.Apparentlywinningmassivematchesagreedwithmycockbecauseitnodded

tolifedespitetheannoyingcup.

I hit the shower in the private locker room and ignored my freed cock. Michael would do my

aftercare next. In my hotel, while I lay bare-assed to the breeze. Just not the kind of aftercare I was

after.

With some soft clothes thrown on—my oldest T-shirt straining at the shoulders and threadbare

sweats—Irubbedatowelovermyhair.

Deodorant.Check.Teethclean.Check.Facethatlookedlikeacarwreck...wellyeah.Butinmy

lineofworkthatcouldn’tbehelped.

AllthattimeMichaelwaiteddiligentlybythelockerroomdoor.Icouldn’thelpbutgetrattledby

thefacthe’dseenmenakedoverandoveragain,butI’dneverseenhiminanythinglessthanshorts.

Hisfacewasclam-tightasheopenedthedoortothehallway.Ashortwalklaterweturnedintoan

undergroundparkinglotwherearentedgold-rimmedCaddyEscaladewaited.Hepoppedthebackso

Icouldstowmybag.

“Chariot?”Iasked.

“I’m pretty sure Devlin thinks this is your winning pussy-ticket.” A smile disappeared from his

facewhenheslammedthegateshut.

Wehadfewillusionsaboutthemotivationsofmyslickmanager,DevlinFinkelstein.

“Notmyface?”

“Haveyoulookedinthemirroryet?”Michaelreplied.

I slid into the back seat. Two beefy dudes took positions one and two in the front. Devlin had

insisted on this extra expenditure. The bodyguards plus the flashy rental. He wanted to make a big

splashinthebigcity—evenifhehadn’tbotheredtoattendthefight—andhedidn’tmindthrowingmy

casharoundtodoit.

“Notmybestlook?”Myfacethrobbeditsownanswer.

Michaelinspected me fromthe other sideof the SUV, rakinga hand throughhis blond curls. “I

wouldn’tsaythat.Thelookofchampiononyou?That’sthebestlook,Liam.Andthesmellofvictory

isthesweetest.”

ChapterThree

SexedUpandMassagedDown

OHGOD.WHYHADN’TIpackedjeansinmygymbag?Ohyeah,becauseIwascontusedallover

my body and looser movement meant less pain. It also meant my package was completely fucking

immediatelyonviewifanyonecaredtolook.

Iswiveledmylegsintheoppositedirectionandfoldedmyhandsacrossmylap.Fuck.FUCK.

Victory,maybethatwassomekindofrefinedcologneMikeyliked.

Thenagain,maybehelikedme.

My cock definitely liked him. It was hard as a flagpole and trying to burst out of my sweats. I

strappedintotheseatbelt,makingsureitcutoffthebloodsupplytomydick.

“Sonowyou’retheBonnyBruiser?”

“Yeah,that’sanewaddition.”Iduckedmyhead.

“Ilikeit.”

IglancedatMichael.Hestaredouthiswindowwithasmileonhislips.

Theebbandflowoftrafficonthestrip—didImentionTheVegasStrip?—lulledmysorebody.

Toowipedouttocare,Imissedallthesightsfromthefamousfountainstothemoney-pitcasinos.I

wasbarelycopaceticwhenthebrightbeamsoftheundergroundparkinggarageofourluxuryhotel

slippedbeneathmyloweredeyelids.

Imanagedtoworkmyfeetjustfinetotheelevator.AgainIwascorralledbetweenmeatymenas

bigasme,andIwonderedifthey’dbestandingguardoutsidemyroomallnightlong,too.

Which, whaddya know? Had been upgraded from suite to penthouse. I might not rate a freebie

roomattheMGMGrandyet,butthiswasastepup.

The massage table was ready and waiting as well as a bucket of iced sports drinks, a basket of

freshfruitplusahandfulofgranolabarsthatusuallytastedlikereconstitutedbirdseed.Michaelmade

meeatthem.Ihatedthem.

Slowlyslippingoutofmyclothes,Iyawnedandstretched.Michaelmadeabigshowoffussing

withtowelsandoils,facingawayfromme.

Islidfacedownonthetableandmuttered,“IseetherearenoCheetosorWhoppersyetagain.”

“Nope. No artificial empty calories for you.” He placed an ice blue drink full of electrolytes in

oneofmyhandsandanunwrappedbird-turdbarintheother.

My stomach growled in rebellion. I snapped the granola in two between my teeth and munched

throughit.

“Muscle care first, then I’m making you a shake and ordering up a nice grilled chicken platter

withfreshpastaandsteamedvegetablesontheside.”

“Hateyou,”Igrumbled.

“Loveyou,too.”Hepattedmyassthatwasbarelyconcealedbywhathadtobelittlemorethana

handtowel.

I watched through half-lowered lids as he retrieved his oils and warmed his hands. He used

somethingwiththesamespicyscenteverytime,combiningitwitharnicatosoothemysore,worked-

overbody.Hemovedefficiently,withthelimbergraceofanathlete.

Turning,hecaughtmelooking.I’dbedamnedifI’dlowermygaze.Ideservedtofeastmyeyes

onhimforalittlewhileatleast,intheprivacyofmyowndamnroom.Theperpetualsun-kissedglow

ofhisskintookonanicerosyhuethelongerIstared.Theflushstartedathisneckandspreadacross

hisclean-shavencheeks,evenreachingthetipsofhisearsthelongerIlooked.

Myheartpumpedfaster.

Michaelslidfrommylineofvisionandclearedhisthroat.“Devshouldbeheretonight.Notme.”

DevlinFinkelsteinwasmymanager,agent,andall-aroundpimp,Imeantpromoter.HalfIrish,half

Jewish,hewasequalpartsstreet-smartandmoolah-oriented.Savvyasonlyabornandbredhustler

couldbe,hiswheeling,dealing,andpossiblepalm-greasinghadalottodowithmysuccess.

We’d grown up together in the great melting pot of Cincin-nasty’s West Side. I wasn’t sure I’d

everlikedhim,butheknewwhathewasdoing.Hecalledtheshotsbehindthescenes,andIplantedthe

punchesinthering.

“Youdon’thavetostayandtakecareofme.Besides,I’mprettysureDevwouldhireagroupof

orientalhentaimasseusestotakecareofmybonemorethanmyachingbody.Andthat’snotwhatI

needrightnow.”

Orever.TheonlypersonIwantedtakingcareofsaidbonerandbodwasMichael.

I propped up on my elbows. The tiny terrycloth towel on my backside slipped all the way off.

Frombehindme,Michaelhissed.Ifumbledwiththetoweltoreturnittomyglutes.

“Right.LikeI’dbeanywhereelse,”hemumbled.

Whenhisroughhandsslippedontomyskin,itwasmyturntohiss.Bitingbackamoan,Ipressed

myfacethroughtheroundholebeneathme,silentlymouthingOhMyGoooood.

Andamen.

As my muscles absorbed the oil, I absorbed the magic of Michael’s kneading fingers. They

workedacrossmytraps,overmylats,downmyspine.Everyplacehetouchedtingled.Paindissolved

into marrow-deep relief. Relief melted away to growing arousal. Michael’s knuckles dug into the

tightnessofmylowerback,justabovetheriseofmyass.

Michael, like the Archangel. With longish wavy blond hair that would’ve looked girly on most

menbutonhimonlyaccentuatedhissculptedfaceandmasculinelips.Hisbuiltbodyrivaledmine.I

knewbecausehetrainedmetohellandbackonadailybasislikehewastheDevil’sownspawn.I’d

jerkedofftohisface,hissmile,hissweatyeight-packoverandoveragain...

“Goodfight,champ,”hemurmured.

Mycockswelledlikeachamp.Istayedonmystomach,twitchingwhenhisfingertipsworkedthe

fierytendonsoneithersideofmyballs.

“Notmybest.”Ishrugged,andtheclothcoveringmyassslippedagain.

His fingers dipped into my lower spine, inciting immense heat that made me lift my hips to his

touch.Iquicklydippedbackdowntohidemyreaction.

“Youbeathim.”

“Not cleanly enough.” A disgusted sound rose from my throat. “Ten rounds? That’s the longest

fightyet.Shouldbeknockingthemoutfaster.”

Hiswhisperhitmyear.“You’retoohardonyourself.”

Nofuckin’kiddin’.Mycockrosetomybellybeneathme.

“Rollover.”

Fuck.“Sure.”Oneonethousand,twoonethousand...

AfterImadeittotenonethousand,Iawkwardlyturnedaroundwiththescanttowelclaspedtomy

groin.Itbarelycoveredmyshaft.Iworriedmyleakingdickwouldwetitrightthrough.

“Your hamstrings are tight.” With his head ducked, Michael’s breath washed across the black

pubescurlingoutfrommyterryclothcovering.

Noshit,Sherlock.Theyaren’ttheonlythingthat’stight.Let’stalkabouttheman’sass.Youcould

bounce quarters off those high round globes. It would probably sound really good when my palm

smackedagainsthisglutes.

Ifhisface,lips,ormouthtraveledanyfurthersouth,mycockwasgoingtorearupandslaphim

onhischeek.

Either Michael was blind or he was used to clients sporting wood when he worked them over.

Withoutapause,hemadeareturnpasstothesensitivestretchofskinhighonmyinnerthighs,nearly

brushingmyswollennadsonceagain.

Thedamntinytoweldrapedovermybonershrank.

MytoescurledandmybreathinglaboredasifIwasinthemiddleofafight.Istrainedtostaystill

insteadofkickingmypelvisuptohisdeep,languidtouch.

“You’restilltense.Let’sloosenyouup.”

Ugh, ugh. My brain short-circuited. Did he watch the same fucking locker room porn I did? I

wantedhimtoloosenmeupwithhistonguerimmingme,hisfingersglidinginsideme.

“Getting stiff again.” Michael swiped a forearm across his brow. “What is it with you tonight,

huh?”

Mycockisabouttoexplodeinyourfaceifyouleanovermeonemoretime.

Myfaceturnedred.Thetipsofmyearsburned.Isatupabruptlyandswungaround.

Michaeljumpedback.

Hanging my legs off the side of the table, I curled my arms over my midsection. “I think I just

needarelease.”

Hewentquiet,andstilledfrompumpingmoreoilintohispalms.WhenIdaredtolookathim,his

facewassetinstone.

“YouwantmetocallDev?Havehimsendawomanuphere?”

“No!Imean...nah,whatever.”Fucknoandhellno.IwantedMichaeltostayinmyroomwith

me.“Icanjust”—Iwavedahandinfrontofmygroin—“whackit,orwhatever.”

Michael’s eyes flared wide and his lips parted for a moment. “Okay. Yeah. That would be a

tension-release.”

He turned away. While he packed his massage kit, I watched him. His hands shook a bit. Then I

wasdistractedbyhisassandthewaythestronginvertedtriangleofhisbackwideneduptohisneck

whereaspreadingflushofcolorappeared.

Isteppedoffthetableandwalkedintothebathroom.ArobehungbehindthedoorandIslidthe

whiteterryclothovermyshoulders.Tyingalooseknotaroundmywaist,Ipressedmyheadagainst

thedoor.Ittookafulltwominutesformetocalmmycockdown,andonlyafterI’dgrippedthebase

inanunforgivingfist.

WhenIexitedthebathroom,Michaelstillfiddledwithhisbag.

Iapproachedquietlyandtouchedhisshoulder.“MaybeIjustneedsomecompanytonight.”

“Sure,I’llletDevknow.”Heshruggedawayfromme.

Eh? What? “No, man. I mean stay here with me, grab that room service, watch a movie or

something.”

Thestunningblondmanturnedaround.

Somethingshiftedinhisfeatures.

Hissucculent-lookinglipsparted.Hiseyeswidened.Wasthatshock?Hope?

Fuck, I didn’t know. I needed a damn dictionary to name the new expression sliding across his

face.

ThehotelroomdoorburstopenwhileIwasstillfiguringouthowtomakeamoveonMichael.

ChapterFour

FuckingCockblockingFinkelstein

THE SHARP SNICK OF Italian leather loafers sounded on the entryway tiles. I stepped away from

MichaelasDevlinappearedinfrontofus.

He was polished to the nines in a custom-tailored suit, his brown ponytail slicked back. He’d

alwaysbeenasmoothdudegrowingup,nowhewashandsomeinawaythataddedbitetohismight,

ifyoucouldignorethereekoffame-whorerollingoffhimliketheheavyodorofcolognewafting

fromhiscollar.

But whatever. He’d singlehandedly taken me from warehouse fighting cages and Cincinnati

bettingringstostanding-room-onlyboxingboutsandVegashotels.WhowasItocomplain?

“Let’sgogetyoulaidlikearockstar,champ!”

Champ.TheprideIfeltwhenMichaelcalledmethatwasreplacedbyaskeevycashregisterching

whenDevlinsaidit.

Devclampedahandonmyshoulder.

IglancedatMichael.

His deep gray eyes became completely blank. A grim line bracketed his mouth. It was the same

slash of firm lips from earlier, when he’d watched me take that punch to my left eye, which was

purpleandswelling.

“Ithoughtyoucouldn’tmakeit,”Isaid.

“LikeI’dmissmypunchingbagmakeusthemoneybags,right?”

Well,whenyousayitlikethat,don’tIfeelcheap.

DevpushedbetweenMichaelandmeandeffectivelyclosedhimoutoftheconversation.“’Sides,

it’sfuckin’Vegas.Strippers.Money.Casinos.Shows.Pussy.Idealwaytocelebrate.”

IthoughtIheardhimsayka-ching!AndthenIwonderedwhenhewasgoingtoinvestinagold

platedgrillforhisbleached-whiteteeth.

Michaelbrushedpastus.

“Waitup,man!Ithought—”

“Iforgot.IhavetoSkypemyboyfriendtonight.”Hespokewithhisbackturnedandonehandon

thedoorhandle.“I’malreadylate.”

Yeah, right. Mikey’s boyfriend. The bastard I blatantly chose to forget along with my duty to

remain forever in the closet. Inwardly I railed, but I didn’t show it. I couldn’t. Michael had more

couragethanme.Hewasgay.Hewasproud.Iwasabarefacedliar.And—ohjoy—hewasinahappy

lovingrelationshipwithhispartner.

Myhopesdashed,Devlin’shositwas.

“I’ll order up that grub for you. See you tomorrow.” With a last wooden look, Michael ducked

throughthedooranddisappeared.

Hetookallthewindfrommytriumphwithhim.

“C’mon, Patsy. Paste a smile on that face. Let’s make sure that johnson of yours is in workin’

order, huh?” Dev slapped my shoulder. “You’re the new kid on the big-bucks block. Stop fuckin’

frowningallthetime.”

Hekeptonwheeling,dealing,wheedling,whining.AllIheardwasmoney,money,money,FAME,

dollarbillsigns.

Istalkedtothebathroom,losttherobe,pickedupmyrazor.

Dev followed me. Leaning against the wall, he dug out a pocketknife to clean his manicured

fingernailswhileIscrapedshavingfoamoffmyface.

“Youknowhe’spracticallymarriedtohispartner,right?”

“Who?”Iasked.

“Michael.ToWade,orWalterorwhatshisname.Theguywhopony’supforhim.”

“Wade.”AhastystrokeoftherazorbladeandIgotanickonmyneck.

“Don’tgetmewrong.I’vegotnothingagainsttherainblowoflove—unlessyouwannabethebest

ofthebestinthesportsworld.Youknowhowitgoes.”Heparedoffathumbnailandflungitintothe

wastebasket.“Sonomorediscrepancies.”

Outofallthepeopletotellmydeepestsecretto,I’dchosenDevlin.Whatadumbassmove.Not

thatIhadtoworryhe’deverspillthebeans.Hellno.Hewantedtokeepmysexualitysofarinthedark

itwouldneverreachthelightofday.

“Therehaven’tbeenanydiscrepancies.”

NotsinceI’dstartedfightingprofessionally.ThefactIhadn’tfuckedamanforsolong—nailed

himtothewall,takenhimhot,hard,andfast—probablyhadsomethingtodowithmejonesingfora

pieceofMichael’sass.

Riiiight.

“Loseyourrep,loseyourfans.Whowantstowatchasissyfighter?Hell,whowantstofightone?

Thewomenwouldbeseeingtheirtherapistsoverjilted-loversyndromeifyoucameout.”Heputthe

SwissArmyknifeinhispocket.

Myrazorclatteredintothesink,andIbracedmyhandsontheedgeofit.“That’snotright.”

“Don’tbesonaïve.Everyonehashang-ups.Jocksaresupposedtobebig,strapping,able-to-fuck-

any-cunt-on-two-legsboys.Youlookthepart.Yougotthefans.Youneedtofollowthrough.”

Bilehitthebackofmymouth.Iwasnotgoingtofuckawomanjusttokeepmynameinlights.

“I’vegotyourbestinterestsatheart.Alwayslookingoutforyou.”Thetoo-brightbathroomlights

gleamedoffDevlin’spolishedteethbaredbyapracticedsmile.

Iinhaleddeeply.

Dev hadn’t steered me wrong yet. We’d been through thick and thin and everything in between.

Everything—for my part—except a woman’s legs. So what if he wanted a little payback for his

promo?Itwasthewayoftheworld,especiallytheonewegrewupin.AndIwasn’tpreparedtogo

thisrodeoalone.I’dhavetotradeoffmyconscienceforconcealingmysexuality.

“Hey,you’retensingupagain.”

I’dheardthosewordsbefore.

Dev’shandssankintomyshoulders,makingthemrisetomyears.“Can’thavethat.Solisten,you

eatyourcardboardmeal,andwe’llheadout.I’vegotthepaparazziwaiting.We’llsnapafewpictures

ofyougettinghotandheavywiththelovelyladies.Prestomagic!It’sallgood.”

Itdidn’tfeelgood.Hidingfeltdirty.

“Don’tworry.”Devleanedintowhisper,hookingmygazeinthemirror.“I’llkeepyoursecret

underwraps.”

Epicwin!Newheights!

AndmynewhopesregardingMichaelwereshotrighttohell.Wecouldn’tbe,notever.Hewasn’t

availableanyway.

Devlin was right, because let’s face it: when push came to shove, you had old friends in your

cornerornofriendsatall.

ChapterFive

Ka-Ching!

THE EXHAUSTING FIGHT AND seemingly endless night finally finished with the debauchery of

my hangers-on. We ended up in a showy casino where I drank glasses of iced water while they

imbibedfancychampagnebythemagnumonmybill.

Due to Dev’s worldwide broadcast on Twitter, followers I didn’t even know surrounded me.

PeopleIdefinitelywouldn’twanttogetarrestedfor,becauseI’donlybeentojuveytheonetimewhen

I’dstolenaloafofstaleWonderBreadfromthecornermarket.Thefamilyneededfeeding.Sueme.

Vegas, bodyguards, appreciation freebies from sponsors in the form of cocktails I didn’t touch,

pokerchipsIgaveaway,andfemaletailIwasn’tinterestedin.Ididn’tgiveafuckabouttheglitzyside

ofshit,butDevparadedmethroughthecrowdslikeastudhorse.HewasallShowtime, ESPN, HBO

specials. During one interval between our Cadillac SUV and the next Liam, The Bonny Bruiser

FaceTime,heshovedthecalendaronhisiPhoneatme.

Hepunchedhisindexfingeratthescreen.“BigTime,fucker!”

Iwentallloosey-gooseyinmylegsassoonasIsawtheback-to-backtalkshowspotshe’dlined

upformenextweek.Iwasnogoodinfrontofcameras.

Justthenanotheroneflashedinmyface.

Suddenlyeveryonewantedapieceofme.ButnotthemanIwantedmost.

Michael was so put together. I was a total fucking mess. He had degrees. I had a dipshit da who

used to give me second-degree burns on my arms from his cigarette butts when I mouthed back.

BeforeIgotbiggerthanhim.

Devcontinuedtoyakinmyear.Mybraincontinuedtospinoutliketiresonarain-slickedroad.

I’dhardlyevenkissedaguy.ThatwasanintimacyI’dneverbeenreadyfor.Pathetic.I’dtriedto

get with girls again after the Margaret Morrissey Debacle, just in case the first time was a total

fuckingflukeaswellas—yaknow—everysingleoneofmyimpulsesever.

Turnedoutthatwasnotthecase.

Long before this boxing fame had happened, when I could still fly under the radar, I went on a

porn-storeadventurecompletewithmyfirstgloryholeblowjob.ThatopenedupalimitlessPandora’s

Box. After that first time, I caught the bus to Dayton. I did gay bar bathroom hook-ups. No names

exchanged, and back then the anonymous fucking was just what I’d needed. Nothing felt better than

drivingmycockintosomeguy’stightass,railingthehunkuntilhegroaneduncontrollablyandshot

hiscome-loadalloverthewall.

I’dgivemyleftlegtogetmythirdlegoffbecauseithadbeenagoddamnlongdryspell.

By the time Dev and my bodyguards delivered me to my suite at some ungodly hour of the

morningIwasA:stonecoldsober,andB:reallyfuckinghorny.

Icanjustwhackitorwhatever.

Ishedmyclothesinaheapwithalong,loudgroanoffrustration.Michaelhadnoideawhathedid

tome.Hemassagedme,dressedme,wrappedmyhands.Hetouchedmeinalmosteveryintimateway

imaginable.

I snagged another bright blue drink from the fridge along with a bowl of carrots and low fat

dressingMikeymust’vereturnedtosetoutforme.Withmyrabbitfoodinhand,Ifellbackonabed

thatwaswaytoobigforonlyone.

Maybe if Michael just jerked me off as part of the aftercare I could move on from my ultimate

stalker-stylelovelornsickness.

Isnappedafreakingcarrotstickinhalfbetweenmyteethandswallowedtheroughagedownwith

mysportsdrink.

Iglaredatmynakedcock.IwilledittostoptormentingmewithimagesofbendingMikeyover

andspreadinghisfirmassbetweenmyhandstothrustinsidetomyburstingnuts.

Thebastardcockbetweenmylegsleakedanotherfatdropofprecome.

Michael exercised me like a prized stallion—no, like an athlete he respected. All the while I

watchedhimsweat,hismusclesflex,hissmilewidenthemorehetorturedme.Icould’veswornhis

eyeshadmeltedwhenhe’dlookedatmetonight;ormaybethatwasme,meltingfromhisdeepgray

gaze.

OrmaybeIwascompletelydelusional,adumbass,afirst-classschmuck.

IwishedI’dspentthenightwithMichaelnotthehundredsofnobodieswhoprobablycouldn’tgive

ashitaboutmeotherthanIwastheirVegasmealticket.IwantedanentirenightwithMichaelevenif

allwedidwassitaroundandshootthebreeze.

Iwisheditwasn’tmyhandcirclingmydickwhenIshotagainstmystomachinthick,warmspurts.

Loneliness,thynameisLiam.

Youloser.

I was barely awake when Dev barged into my suite the next morning. He immediately threw

clothes at me and shouted orders. I wolfed down an oh-so-healthy egg white omelet and a quart of

fresh-squeezedorangejuicebeforeIstumbledintotheshower.

Devlin followed me into the bathroom. He had no goddamn concept of personal space when it

cametome.Withhimstandingatthesink,waitingwithatowel,Ihadnotimetodoalittlemorning

jagoff.

“HowmuchdowepayMichael?”Iaskedabovetheroarofthehigh-poweredshowerjets.

“Enough.”

Ipoppedmyheadout,shampooandall.“Yousure?”

“I can pull up the reports if you want.” Dev stared at his reflection in the mirror and rubbed a

fingeracrosshiscappedpearlywhites.

“HealthplansforhimandSean?”Iwantedtomakesuremytwobestpeople—mysexytrainerand

mygrouchy,grizzlycoach—hadasgoodmedicalcoverageasIdid.

“Yeah.”

“401Ks?”

“YouthinkI’magonif?’

Whenhepreenedinfrontofthemirrorlikethat...yeah.

Irinsedoff,steppedout,andacceptedthetowel.“Good.”

“Youlooklikelastweek’sgarbage.”Heproddedmyswolleneyelid.

“Thanks.”Igrinned.“Addthattothejobdescription.”

Twenty minutes later we were on the road. At the municipal airport another blacked-out SUV

rolled in behind us. I got out, Dev too. Anya slid out of the car at our rear with Michael coming

aroundtoherside.Heledherovertome.

Ilookedbetweenthetwoofthem.Hescowled.Sheshotmeameaningfullook.Icouldn’tfigure

outeitheroftheirexpressions.

Devstoodatthedoorsoftheairport.“What?Getyourhandsoffyourdicksalready.Looklively,

yafucks.”

Before I could question why Anya was puddle-jumping with us, we were through the ticket

counter, out the back door and crossing the landing strip. Then I saw exactly why Anya had been

draggedalong.

This was another of Devlin’s prearranged photo-ops for the press. The gossip hounds stood in

looseformationbehindacordoned-offpaththatledtoaprivatejet.

At least this was a step-up from the piss-stinking Greyhounds I used to travel in for my

Midwesterncircuitofcagefights.

Asthepresssnappedphotosandshoutedquestions—alltodowiththe“luckylady”atmyside—I

repliedwithmonosyllabicanswers.

DevlinshovedmeclosertoAnyauntilwepracticallykissedonthetarmac.

Michaelnarrowedhiseyesatme.

Ihadnoideawhyhisundieswereinawad.Ilookeddownatmypressedkhakis,blazer,tie,and

blue button-down to match my aqua-blue eyes. I was all zipped up, tucked in, and I’d brushed my

fuckingteethtwice,thankyouverymuch.Ihadn’tevenforgottentoaddaftershaveforachange.

Inasimilaroutfit,Michaelstruttedpast,hisfantasticassonshow.“Yousmelllikeahooker,”he

grumbledatme.

Anyasnickered.Cameraswereinmyfuckingfaceagain.Devflappedhisgumsonthephonethe

entiretime.

Idiscreetlysniffedmypits.StillIrishSpringfresh.InavigatedAnyaupthegangwayandintothe

deluxe first class airplane where Michael stood just inside. He treated me to another glare as I

beckonedAnyainfrontofmeintothecabin.

Ifollowedandsatdownbesideher.

Michaelstompedpast.

HewasusuallyMr.Sunshinerightdowntohisblondcurls.Hell,evenhislastnamewasbrightand

shiny.IwassupposedtobeMr.DoomandGloomandf-bombthisandg-damnthatinthisoperation.

Nowheseemedseriouslysurly.

“Wow.”Anyarubbernecked.“Whatcrawledupheeesass?”

The boxing ring babe had spent enough time travelling on the circuit/circus to have American

slangdown,butherUkrainianaccentremainedthick.

Ishrugged.

“Maybeablowholewithhisboyfriend?”

Okay,maybeshedidn’thavetheslangdownpat.“Blowout.”

“Da.”

Anyaworeablown-outblondewigwhenshewalkedthering,butunderneathshehadshortblack

hair.Sheditchedthewigassoonaswetookoff,pullingoutaStyrofoamheadformfromhercarryon

andplacingthefakehairontop.Afterbrushingitintoshape,shezippeditaway.

With a big sigh, she’d combed her fingers through her real hair, saying, “I don’t get ze whole

MarylynMonroelookbutqueseraSurratt.”

Shesatbackandangledherfingers,tippedwithlongorange-tintedfakenails,soshecouldtype

onheriPadasshemadenotesaboutmechanicalengineeringandotherassortedaeronauticalthings

thatboggledmymind.Underthecoveroftangerineacrylic,Iknewhernaturalnailbedswerebitten

tothequickalmostascloseasmine.

“IbethehasfightwithWade,”shesaid.

“Youthink?”Ifailedtokeepthegleefrommyvoice.

Sheswiveledtowardmeandopenedherlipstospeak.Beforeshegotawordout,sheclammedup.

Withtighteyes,shestaredbehindme.

IfeltMichael’sheatbeforeIsawhimandIsatbackinarushwhenhestalkeddowntheaisleagain.

Hestoppedbesidemyseat.

Hestaredatmehard.

Whythehellishelookingatmelikethat?

Clotheson?Yes,Iwasfullycovered.I’dalreadydouble-frigging-checked.Isubtlycuppedahand

over my mouth and exhaled. My breath was minty fresh, care of those two, two-minute tooth

brushings.Ismoothedbackmyunrulyblackhaironlytoknockmyhandontheframesofmyglasses.

Icouldn’tdealwithcontactstoday.Mylefteyewasnearlyswollenshut.

I snatched the wire-rimmed frames off my face and blinked at a semi-blurry, still annoyed

Michael.

Hestormedawayagain.

Anyawhipped her headaround to watchhim retreat to theback of theplane, then she chuckled.

“Heeessopissed.”

Devlincuppedahandoverhiscell.“Whatthefuckcrawleduphisassandhatchedeggs?”

Isanklowerinmyseat.

MichaelmadeanotherpasswhenweweremidflightonourwaytoNewYorkCity—mynewhome

base.HecameacrossSeanlollinginhisseatacrossfromAnyaandme,tokinganunlitcigar.Anya

continuedtomakefuriousnotesonhertablet.Devwasattachedbyhismouth,head,andhandstohis

cell.Isatdrinkingthenastysludge-shakeMikeyhadsnuckintomytravel-on.

AGameofThroneswasopeninmylap.I’djuststartedreadingthemassiveseries.Ireallydugit.

MyheartpoundedasIcontinuedtoread.Thatnimblelittleshit,Ned’sson,wasonthefreakingcastle

rooftop.Ihadaterriblefeelingsomethingbadwasabouttohappen.

Michael’sshadowfellacrossmybook.Ifinger-markedthepage,pushedmyglassesbackupmy

nose,andpeeredathim.

Hisjawticked.Helookedpissedoffand,therefore,totallyfuckinghotfromhisblondcurlstohis

stormyeyestohisbroadshoulders...anddefinitelylower.Mybodyreactedinaninstant.Iuntucked

myshirttocoverupmybrandnewboner.

“Youdon’twearglasses.”Hecrossedhisarmsoverhischest,strainingtheseamsonhisbiceps.

I folded away the glasses—like this private plane, they were definitely a step-up from my ugly

teenagegeek-boyframes.“Mostlytoread.”

“Ilikethem.”

Ihurriedlyplacedthembackonmyface.

“What’syourdeal?”Herestedhishipagainstthebackoftheseatacrossfromme.

“Huh?”

“You.AndAnya.”Hedroppedhisvoice,motioninghisheadtowardthebabebesideme.

ChapterSix

WhatDoesn’tHappeninVegas...

HANGONASECOND.DoesMichaelthinkI’mintoMissUSSR?Talkaboutmiscommunication.And

wowwasheangry?Becausetheangrylookdefinitelyworkedinhisfavor.

“Um,”Ihedged.

“Ididn’tknowyoucared,Mykhailo.”Anya’sgazeliftedtohim.

Asheshiftedtoher—leaningrightovermyseat—Igotaprimefrontrowviewofhisbitableass.

“Justcurious,that’sall.”

Curiousinhisworldseemedtobeaspissedasacarjackercaughtmid-hotwireinmine,becauseif

hisjawgotanystifferitwasgoingtoturnintoconcrete.

Justlikemycockatthatmoment.

“Andwhatifwewerehavingliaison?”myevilpartnerincrimeasked.

“I’mjustsayingheshouldn’tletsexgetinthewayoftraining.”

Isnorted.Nosexwasgettinginthewayofmytraining.

Michaelswiveledtohitmewithaglare.“Funny?”

Mikey was not happy about my supposed nights of torrid passion with Anya. I did a touchdown

danceinmyseat.AndWTF?Isheinterestedinme?

Nah.Couldn’tbe.

“Notatall,sir.”Iclearedmythroat,adjustedmyglasses,andopenedthebookI’dpaginatedwith

myfingertip.

“Sir?”

“Youalwayslikegivingmeorders,”Imumbled.

“Anywhat—”

“Anyhow,”MichaelinterruptedAnya.

“Oranywho.”Seanrolledhisstogietoonesideofhismouthtoaddhistwocents,remindingme

bothheandDevwereavidobserverstothisTwilightZoneconversation.

“Past’zakroi.Liam...heeesnotmytype.”

“He’severybody’stype,”mynightlong,nighttime,wanna-nutfantasysaid.ThenMichael’scheeks

turnedpink.“Youknow,iftheylikethugs.”

It was all fun and games until someone called me a thug. From out of nowhere I went from

vaguelyamusedtoabsolutelyenraged.

Ijumpedtomyfeet.

Michaelstumbledback.

Handswentuponallsidesofhimtocatchthemanincasetherewasabigtimbermoment.

Iproddedhischest,backinghimintotheaisle.

“Whatthefuckisyourhang-up,man?”Ishouted.“Missedthesex-Skypewithyourboyfriendlast

nightorsomething?”

MaybeitwasthewayIpushedhischestonelasttime,orperhapsitwasmywildaccusation,but

somethingsuresetMikeyoff.BeforeIknewit—andIhadexcellent,precision-trainedreflexes—he

knockedmebackwardandgotrightinmyspace,rightinmyfaceasIsplattedintoanemptyseat.

“Yougotaproblemwithgays?”Hischestpumped.Hiseyesturnedsilver.Thatgoddamnmuscle

atthesideofhisjawjumped.

Anyagawkedateverything.“Thisplanesuddenlyfeelsreallysmall,liketincat.”

Ididn’thavetimetoworkthroughhermixedmetaphoralongthelinesofacanofsardinesanda

catonahottin...

“Fourhundred-pluspoundsofmuscleandbucketsoftestosteronewilldothat.Yep.”Sean’sgruff

voicesounded.

Michaelleanedinsoclosehismouthalmostbrushedmine.“Answerthequestion.”

I’dforgottenthefriggingquestion.WithhiswarmlipssoclosetomineallIcouldthinkwasYes!

“No!”Devfranticallyshookhishead.

Isquirmedintheseat.

HereIwas,abigtimeundefeatedboxer,quailinginfrontofMichael.Andbigsurprise, my cock

decideditlikedhimbeingabsolutelymasterfuloverme.

“No.Itotallyembracetherainbowoflove.”Thankyouforthesoundbite,Devlin.

AndIamafirst-classstalkerassholewhowantstofuckyousilly,Michael.Killmenow.

“Fine.”Michaeltookastepback.

“Good?”Iasked.

“I’minabadmood.”

“Igotthat.”Myhandsrelaxedonthearmrests.

“Me,too,”Anyachirped.

“Ditto,”saidDevlin.

Michaelcrackedhisneck.

Hepointedtothebackoftheplane.“SoI’llstayonmysideandyoustayonyours.”

“Yeah.”Myvoicecrackedlikehisneckhad.

JesusChrist,mypalmssweated.

HiseyessnappedtomylipswhenIlickedthem.

Then he leaned across me to roughly whisper in my ear, “We’re done for now. But I plan on

takingeverythingoutonyouintheringlater.”

Guh.What?

FuckMyCock.

Thebastardthingalmostpunchedrightthroughmypantstogetathimandhispromise.Beatmy

ass,fuckit,Ididn’tcare.

That time I nodded frantically. I probably looked goddamn comical. Anya giggled. Dev glared.

DidImentionmypalmsweresweating?

ImadesureIdidn’tsqueak.

WithmynosepressedtoMikey’sandourmouthssocloseItastedthesweetrushofhisbreathon

mylips,Igrowled.“Ican’tfuckingwaittotakeyoudown.”

Ihadjustenoughtimetoenjoythewayhispupilsdilatedbeforehespunaroundandpacedtothe

rearoftheplane.

Half an hour later, Anya stood and stretched. I’d lost all focus on the George R.R. Martin

masterpieceandstaredoffintospaceinstead;spacepopulatedbyimagesofangryMikeypounding

mewithhiscockinmyassinsteadofhisfistsinmyface.

Anyathetroublemakerdawdledintheaisleforaminuteorsoafterreturningfromthecanbefore

sheslippedbackintoherseat.Shesnuggledagainstmewithherheadonmyshoulder.

Ipattedherhairawkwardly.“Um.Heythere.”

Ididn’tneedtoglanceacrossmetoknowDevlinhadsatupandtakenaninterestinthisnewturn

ofevents.Likeaguycouldgofromgaytostraightjustbecauseapairofboobsbrushedhisarm.

SqueezingAnya’sshoulder,Itriedtoremoveherfromthefullbodycastsheformedagainstme.

“Youknow,Ithinkyou’reawesome,Anya,Ireallydobut—”

“Ohplease,lapochka.Iknowyouarenotinterestedinme.Youpracticallylighttheroomonfire

everytimeyoulookatMykhailo.”

Ohhhshit.

Devdefinitelyheardthat.Itsoundedlikehe’dcoughedhiscellrightoutofhisthroat.

Ohfuck.

ThankfullySeanremaineddeadtotheworldwithhismouthgapingopenanddroolcollectingin

thecornerofhislips.

“Yoursecret,itissafewithme.”Anyacuddledcloser,anditwaskindoflikesittingonthecouch,

watchingTVwithoneofmykidsisters—solongasneitheroneofthemeverthoughtaboutdoingthe

bikini-clad,high-heeledstrutaroundtheboxingringthing.

Ever.

Notthatitwasn’tarespectableprofession,but—

Anyadraggedonefaux-fingernaildownthemiddleofmychestwithaloudpurrthatreverberated

throughouttheplane.

Ivaguelyheardsomeoneswearingfrombehindus,anditwasn’tDevthattime.

“Ijustwanttoseeifwecangetgreen-eyedgianttorearupagain,”Anyamentioned.

Ilookedather,baffled.Mycockwasnotgreen.MaybeshewasconfusingtheJollyGreenGiant

withtheone-eyedsnake?

“Mykhailo—makeheemjealous.”

“Green-eyedmonster?”

“Da!That’swhatIsay!”

Ifnothingelse,Anyawasacomfortablefriend.Sheunderstoodme.Iletmyheadfallbackasmy

fingertipsskimmedherarm.Iwasfuckingwiped.Physicallyandemotionallypushingtheredline.

Thebumpety-bump-bumpoflandinggearhittingtherunwaywokemeup.Iyawned,attemptingto

covermymouthtobepoliteandshit,butIwastangledupinoneofthosesoftfleeceairlineblankets

—thekindtheyfleecedyoufornowadaysoncommercialflights.

Anyasatnexttome,beaming.“Hecamebacktocoveryouup.”

“Who,he?”Mysynapseswerenotfullyonline.

Shearchedaneyebrowinmydirection.“Whodoyouthink,who?”

NotSean,hewasstillcrashedout,hiscigarstubrollingintheaisle.

Not Devlin, he’d hopped up as soon as the seatbelt light went off. After retrieving his rolling

suitcase,heaimedonefingeratmewhilehetalkedamileaminuteontheperpetualiPhone.

Sothatonlyleft...

Michael.

Ileanedoutintotheaisleandlookedback.

Assoonashemetmygaze,electricityarcedbetweenus.Eitherhewasstillangryaboutwhatever

thetabloidshadcookedupaboutmeandmyshenaniganslastnight,orhejustcouldn’twaittowork

outsomesexualfrustrationc/oBoyfriendWade.

Hesuckedinabreathandblinkedwide.Aflushroseuphisneckashebrokeeyecontact.

Ormaybethere’ssomethingelse.

ChapterSeven

RoughandTumble

THERE WAS SOMETHING ELSE all right. It entailed me hocking up my motherfucking entrails

while Michael put me through my paces in the ring a mere three hours after we arrived at my new

homebase,Tribeca.

Sure,hegavemeenoughtimetofueluponliquidsandcarbs,digoutmytraininggear,boxing

boots,andafreshjockstrapbeforehecamepoundingonthedoorofmyplace.Forconveniencesake,

he’dtakenanapartmenttwofloorsdownfromme.

His place was probably already unpacked and perfectly appointed. Mine was a maze of boxes,

books,andfurnitureshovedagainstthewalls.I’dunearthedaplate,utensils,andawaterbottle.Toilet

paperandatowelortwohunginthebathroom,anditwasHomeSweetHome.

Atleasttheviewsweregood,butIwasn’ttalkingabouttheoneoutsidethewindowthatshowed

theHudsonRiver.ImeantMichaelinsidemylivingroominamuscleshirt,b-ballshorts,andslate-

coloredeyes.

“Let’sgo.”Henoddedatthedoor.

ApparentlyhewasstillspittingnickelsaboutwhateverwentdownwithboyfriendWadelastnight.

“Uh,okay.”

“IreservedtheringatIronFistsGymfortwohours.Noobservers,justyouandme.”

That would sound so much better if he said he’d reserved a fucking honeymoon suite for us to

reallytakeitoutoneachother.Eitherway,gettingsweatywiththemanwoulddomejustfine.AfterI

rememberedhowtolaceupmysneakers.

Wejoggedthreeblockssouthtoashit-hole-lookinggym.Ifeltrightathome.Michaeldidn’tgive

meachancetoappreciatetheutteruglinessofthebuildingbeforehedraggedmeinside.

Wegotchangedinthelockerroom.Theairthickwithsilenttension,hewrappedmyfistsandI

didhis.

Weheadedfortheringandwarmedupforafewminutes.MaybeI’dtreathimtosomeMuayThai

movesI’dpickedupalongtheway.Thatwouldloosenhimup,untilhepukedhisgutsup.

Musicpumpedfromthespeakersaswefacedoneanother.Onerefwasonhand—justtokeep it

clean—otherwisethebigconcreteblockofaroomwasempty.

Thegymsmelledofsweat,blood,hotbodiesandallthethingsIlovedaboutthissport.

With our hands wrapped and our shirts off, we laid into each other. Two incredibly fit twenty-

four-year-oldmensparringwithnocareorcaution.I’dneverputmyfullpowerbehindmypunches

atMichaelbefore,buthedidn’tpussy-footaroundandIwasn’tgoingtolethimplowstraightthrough

methistime.

AC/DCblaredaroundus.Theballsofourfeetbouncedoffthemat.Ourarmsarcedthroughthe

air.Itwaslikefuckingballet.

Withblood.

Inotherwords,Ilovedit.

I eyed Michael’s gleaming torso with the colorful tat. His ink was amazing. I almost lost my

concentrationbecauseofit.Thedesignwasobviouslyoneofakind,justlikethewingsonmyback,

but his stretched all the way along his right abdominal wall and his ribcage front and back. The

magnificent tattoo was some kind of highly stylized bird of prey—maybe a hawk. Huge wings

elongatedtohisbackanduphisshoulder,butitsscalyfootwastetheredbyajessthatwoundaround

his hip. The dark gray glowing eye matched Michael’s in hue. The words Fight and Flight curled

throughitall.

Thoseverywordsresonatedwithme.

Hell,Michael’sbodyresonatedwithme.Hewasbuiltofmusclesovermuscles,toomanytocount.

“Youwantsomeofthis?”Ipoundedmychest.

“Yeah.”Hegavemeaferalgrinthenrefittedhismouthguard.

Thesnarling,growling,grinningblondmanchargedme.

Iducked,spun,punched.

Hecamerightbackatmehit-for-hit.

My shoulder numbed from his jabs. His ribs turned bright red. My face, already hurt from last

night,tookanotherlashing.

“Youboys’boutdone?”therefcalledover.

Ibreathedlonganddeep,peeringthroughdamphairatMichael.

Heshookhishead.“Nah.”

Thetotalbodytormentwentonandon.Neitherofuscriedmercy.Ifhewaspissedoff,sowasI.I

justwasn’tsurewhatI’ddonetomakehimgoallpow-pow-powonme.Ididn’treallymuchcare.The

scentofhiscleanperspirationwasasmuchofanaphrodisiacasthevisualofhissweatingbody.

Iblockedaviciousjabtomyface.“You’rebeingadick.”

Hespunawaybeforemyfistconnectedwithhisstomach.“Backatcha.”

Ifhewantedme,hesurehadafunnywayofshowingit.Killingsomeoneviasheerbodilytorture

didn’tusuallyleadtolovescenesormake-outsessions.Anyawaswaythefuckoffthemarkthere.

“What’syourbeef,bro?”Igaspedafteraparticularlystingingpunch.

“Ithinkyoushouldbemorediscreet.”Hewhippedhisheadoutofthewayjustasmylefthook

whistledpast.

“Huh?”

“WithAnya.Andtheotherwomen.Orallthewomen,ifyoureallylikeAnya.”

“Kiddingme?”

Hejoggedinfrontofmeonhisfeet.Left,right,left,right.“Nope.”

“ThisisaboutAnya?”

“Yep.”

“Bullandshit.”Ikickedhislegsoutfromunderhimandfollowedhimdowntothemat.

Ididn’tcockmyfisttobeathisface,butonlybecauseitwastooprettytoinjure.

Irestrainedhismassivethighswithmyknees.“You’rebeginningtosoundlikeDev.”

“Call!Thatmoveisnotallowed,”theringsiderefshouted.

“’S’okay.We’renotplayingbytheruleshere,arewe,Michael?”

“Nope.”Hishipsbuckedup,andhiscrotchhitmygrowinghardness.

Holyshit.

Ialignedmytorsowithhis.Loweringmyselfanotherinchoverhim,IimaginedMikeybareand

beggingbeneathme,ourcocksthrustingtogether.

“Dev’saslickMick.”Hischestpumpedupandhetriedtopushmeoffhim.

“He’snotevenatrueMickandPS.that’saninsulttomyIrishupbringing,preppymotherfucker.”I

pusheddownonhisshoulders.

“Getup,youbigbastard.”WithnowarningatallMichaelspankedmyasshard.

Aresoundingsmackrangthroughtheair.

Hiseyeswidened.

Minealmostrolledbackinmyhead.

Thatwassohot.I’dneverimaginedhimslappingmyassbefore.

Ipumpedagainsthimoncethenrearedbackinhorror.

Finally the pinched-sphincter expression he’d worn all day relaxed. He licked his lips in a slow

motionmoveIwantedtorepeatwithmytongueonhismouth.

“Comeon,man.Let’shittheshowers.”Hebuckedagainstmeonemoretime,andIsweartofuck

therewasanextra,slow-grindingmotiontohiships.

“What?”Icroaked.

“Youstink,youfucker.Getoffmesowecangetshoweredup.”

Ohyay.Becausebothofusgettingnakedwithwaterandsudsisagreatidea.You’lldropthebarof

soapbetweenmylegsandstoopdowntoscoopitup...

Ifollowedslowlyafterhim,stranglingmydickinafisthiddenbehindmyworkouttowel.“I’m

notdoingyogaafter.”

“Yes,youare.”

“What’sthepoint?Getcleaneduptosweatsomemore?”

“Loosenyourmusclestolimberup.”

After we reached the locker room, Michael undressed right in front of me while I forgot to

breathe.Therewasnopossiblewayanythingwasgoingtolimbermeupafterthevisualsheprovided.

Firstheskimmedhisshortsoffhislong,well-muscledlegs.Hestoodandstretchedthenkicked

off his thin leather boots. A sheer white mesh jockstrap didn’t so much say peekaboo as make a

mouthwateringpackageofhislongthickdickandcrisptrimmedpubes.

He pulled the waistband out then down, slowly uncovering a meaty swinging cock and perfect

pinksac.

Ichokedalittle.

Thejockstrappingedmeinthechest,slingshotfromhishands.Igrabbedthewarmwhitebundle,

barelyabletorestrainmyselffrombringingittomyface.

“Youshyallofasudden,champ?”

No,I’mdyingoverhere.

Idroppedhisjockstrapandshedmysweatygear.Iwatchedhisbacksideallthewaytotheshower

stalls.Broadshoulderswithfreckles.Thehugefanofhislatsanddeltsdowntohisglutes.Glinting

goldfuzzonthebacksofhisthighsuptoanasssotightandsmoothhe’dhavetobendoverandclasp

himselfopenbeforeIgotapeekathissweetring.

Thehotwaterjettedon.Ineededcold.Icecold.Arcticcold.Hepassedsoaptome,thenshampoo

afterrunninghishandsalloverhisbodyandclosinghiseyesinabsoluteecstasyunderthespray.

Goddamn,hiscockwasbeautiful.Itlayonhisthigh,reachinglow.Hard,he’dfillbothmyhands

andmymouth.Hewascut,unlikeme.Hiswideflaredheadpoppedandalongthickveinpumped.

Michael checked me out, too. To him it was probably just locker room guy shit. But I looked

good.Hemadesureofthat.Notanounceoffat.Tall,fit,withblackhairinalinedownmyabsand

thatchedaroundmyshaft.MybicepsflexedextrahardwhenIrinsedofftheshampoo.Islidonehand

downtocleanmyforeskin,gentlypullingitbacksotheplumppurpleheadshowed.

Michael’smouthdroppedopen.Hiscockstirred.Hefacedawaytofinishhisshower.

OhGod,ohGod...trouble.

Arousalshivereddownmyspine.Hisasswasrightthere.Theglobeswetandshiny,andrivulets

ofwaterstreameddownhistightcrack.

Insteadofsteppinguptohim,pressingmyselfagainsthim,Ibackedoutoftheshower.Igrabbeda

towelforahastydry-offthensatonabenchtosoakupwaterfrommyhairwitharub-rub-rub.

Barewetfeetslidintomyvision.

“I’mnotdoingyoga,”Irepeated.

“Yes,youare.”Michaelwrappedhisdamptowelaroundmyneckanddrewmetomyfeet.

Hismouthwassoclose.Ithoughthe’dkissme.

Kissme,please.

Hedraggedthetowelawayandspuntograbnewshorts.Andtherewashisnakedassagain.“We

candoitnakedorclothed.Yourchoice.”

Nakedyoga?Signmeup.

Fuckinghell.Anotherpunishingafternoonofyogafollowed—tolimbermeup—andrabbitfood

—tomaintainmyweight.TheonlygoddamnlimberingupIwantedtodowaswithmylegshikedover

myheadwhileMichaeldrovehisheftycockinsidemyhole.

At one point during yoga, he positioned himself in front of me in some Downward Doom pose

whenhelookedatmefrombetweenhislegs.“Nomoremunchiesforyou.”

“You’re a double douchebag.” Fast food was my last addiction since his sweet ass was off the

market.

HealwayshadSpidey-senseswhenIchoweddownonBigMacs.

Oncewegotyogaoutoftheway,weheadedbacktoourcomplex.Itwasnice,walkingdownthe

streetwithMichael.WetossedinsultsateachotherandtradedjokesaboutDevlin.Whenthatgotold,

we talked through last night’s fight and the areas I needed to improve for the next bout in a couple

months.

Iwondered,forthemillionthtime,whatitwouldbelikeifwewereboyfriends.IfIcouldreach

outandgrabhishand,holditwhilewestrolledalong.

HowitwouldfeeltogoonadatewithhimandbeabletotellhimhowmuchIwantedhim.

Michaelwincedasweexitedtheelevatoronmyfloor.

“Aw, did wittle Mikey get hurt sparring with the big Bonny Bruiser today?” I knocked my

shoulderagainsthis.

HemerelyjerkedhischindownthehallwaywhereDevlinwaitedwatchdog-styleoutsidemydoor.

Therewasnolovelostbetweenmymanagerandmytrainer.

“Anya’swaitingforyou,”Devsnappedasweapproached.

“Toldyou.”Michaelmovedaway.

“She’swaitingtostudy.”Ihoistedmygymbagovermyshoulder.

“Studywhat?Newpositions?”

“English,youasshole.”

Wewerebacktosquareone,orroundthreeofwhateverthefuckwasn’thappeningbetweenus...

ever.

“Saygoodnighttoherforme.”Hesenthiswordsoverhisshoulder.

“Yeah.AnddothesametoWade.”Ileanedaroundthecornertowatchhisfirmassretreat.

ChapterEight

ShowPony

THENEXTWEEKIonlysawMichaelforhoursoftraininginthemorningandmoreofthesamein

theeveningbecauseIwasflat-outonadifferent,completelyuncomfortablecircuitduringthemidday.

Talkshows,interviews,call-ins,radioshows.Iwastheup-and-comeroftheboxingworld,andafter

thebigvictoryoverHernandez,DevlinpimpedmeoutforallIwasworth.

Iwantedtocomeallright...inMichael’sassandonhisabsandinhisperfectlushmouth.

Hell,Iwouldn’tevenmindsittingdownwithhimandsharingameal.I’dfallallovermyselfto

spendaneveningwatchingcrapTVwithhim.Wecouldjustplayamind-numbinggameontheXbox

thenfallasleeptogetheronthecouch.IwasgreedyforthekindofcompanionshipI’dneverhad,with

amanIwantedformorethanjustaone-hour-stand.

Fuck,Iwassuchasap.

The pressure of keeping up with the fame game was so much worse than getting the living

daylightsbeatoutofme.

Devlin’swordscircledmyhead—anaggravatingmantra:

Befunny.

Keepsmiling.

Don’tfreezeup.

Makesureyoudon’tswearandtrynottooffendanyone’ssensibilities.

Don’t be a thug, but be manly, and when you cross your leg at the knee that accentuates your

package,camerasandchickseatthatshitup...

Ineedednotecardsforthatshit,butallIgotwasateleprompter.ReadingthatwhileItriedtomake

goodonthedecent,wholesome—riiight—sportsguyschtickmademeanervouswreck.

Ifeltsooutofplace.Notthatthefansweren’tfreakin’awesomeorthehostsgraciousandgoodat

putting me at ease, but being in the spotlight made me lonely as hell. Constantly surrounded by a

crowd of people who didn’t really know me at all only served to highlight the one most important

thingmissingfrommylife.Someonetoshareitwith.

If I could just tell Michael the truth . . . if he wasn’t already in a relationship . . . if I wasn’t so

scaredofwhatwouldhappentomycareer...

If, if, if. The list went on and on. If only I grew a pair of balls other than the ones swinging

between my legs. It kept me awake at night no matter how grueling smiling all day for the TV and

radioblitzwas.

IcombattedtheloneliesbyFaceTimingmysister,Mary-Kate.

Atseventeengoingonthirty-four,she’dtakenovermyroleasprotectoroftheotherkids.Mom

workedinthebakeryatthecrackofdawnthenatabaruntillastcalltomakeendsmeetbecauseDa

was too busy sitting on his lazy ass in the Lay-Z-Boy chair and swilling his booze to hold down a

steadyjob.Isentthemmoneyeverytwoweeks,butIhadnowayofknowingwhereitwent.Probably

inLiamSenior ’sbottomlessbottleandbadbettinghabit.

Mary-Katewasmoreseriousthansheshould’vebeenatherage,butthatwashowwesurvivedin

the’hood:youeithergrewuptoofastoryouranoffthewrongsideofthetracks.

Sometimes,justsometimes,Isawtheteenagegirlinhershinethrough.Likewhensheaskedme

about that “blond sex god” who’d been beside me at the Vegas fight. It wasn’t just the Gaelic genes

thatraninthefamily.Apparentlytasteinmendid,too.

“Michael’sgay.”

“How did you know I meant him when I said ‘that horny piece of perfection’?” Mary-Kate

smirked.Thensherolledhereyes.“AndforGod’ssake.Whyaretheyalwaysgayortaken?”

Tellmeaboutit.

TheonlyproblemwasIcouldn’ttellheraboutit.Shewasinthedarkjustlikeeveryoneelseabout

myhomosexuality.

“Don’tyouhaveaboyfriendyourownage?AndP.fuckingS.tellhimI’llriphisnutsoffifhe

treatsyouwrong.”IaimedaserialkillergrinatmyFaceTimescreen.

She chewed on her thumbnail, yet another trait she’d gotten from me. “I’ve been dating Gavin

O’Flannery?”

“Thatscrawnyshitwhousedtomoonoveryouinjuniorhigh?C’mon,sis.”

“I’llhaveyouknow,LiamOShaughnessy,he’splayingfootballatSt.X,startingquarterbacknext

fall.Healsothinksit’ssocoolyougotoutofthisdump.”

Myheartbrokealittle.Sure,Conor,Saoirse,andMary-Kateweremysiblings,butIfeltliketheir

father. I was missing every big moment of their lives. Not only that but I had gotten out, basically

leavingthemtofendforthemselves.

“Well,ifGavin’sanygood,hecanmakeabreakforit,too.Butit’snotforeveryone,sis.There’s

somethingtobesaidforstayingputandsettlingdown.”

Her incredibly green eyes flashed. “And there’s something to be said for making a name for

yourself,Liam.Showingtheoldfuckersthere’smoretolifethanfoursquareblocksofthesameold

shit in Cincinnasty.” She pointed into the camera. “So you keep going. And you keep making us

proud.”

“Fuckme.Whendidyoubecomesuchashrew?”Ispokethroughacloggedthroat.

“Whenyoustartedsayingputzshitlike‘settlingforacrapsituationain’tsobad’.”Sheflippedher

middlefingeratme.“Whydon’tyougowinatitlefightalready.”

“I can’t believe you just said putz. Have you been watching Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure

again?”

“Screwyou.”Mary-Katelaughed.

“Hey,M-K?”

“Yeah?”

“Givethekidshugsfromme,okay?”

“AslongasyougiveunholyIrishhelltothatReggieJonesyou’vegotcomingupinJuly.”She

winked.

In the middle of the day after back-to-back interviews, on the final leg of my weeklong press

junket, I was a powder keg ready to go off. I slipped out of the circus and offset unseen. I ditched

everyone, including those two unnecessary bodyguards Devlin hired for such “important”

appearances.

Outside,Ishruggedoffmysportsjacket,tuggedmytielooseandshoveditdeepintomypocket.It

wasmid-AprilinNewYorkCity,awarmspringday.Ibreatheddeeplyofthesweetcitysmelloffried

foodandexhaustfumes,returningtowhatI’dalwaysbeen:justanotherstreetkidhopefullynoone

wouldlookattwice.

Catchingthesubway,Iheadedwhereveritwasgoing.Oneofhundredspackedintoananonymous

crushofpeople,myshouldersrelaxedforthefirsttimeindays.Ididn’tcarewhereIendedupaslong

as I wasn’t forced to watch every single monitored word that came out of my mouth. And I really

wantedtoeatsomethingfullofgreasyfat.

Withnodestinationinmind,IendedupinQueensandwanderedintoahole-in-the-wallgallery.It

wassomebody’sopening.Sparklingwinewasonoffer.Ioptedforsparklingwaterinstead.Michael’s

habits were goddamn hard to break. The two rooms filled to capacity with raucous art patrons, the

noiseroaredtothelevelofmyfightsinthatenclosedspace,butIdidn’tmindit.

Istudiedanoilpainting.Somethingfigurative,modern.Anddefinitelyerotic,depictingtwomen

entwined.Mymindemptiedofeverythingbutwonderinghowtheartisthadmanagedtocapturesuch

masculineintimacywiththestrokesofhispaintbrush.

“Youlooklikeyoumightenjoysomethingstronger.”Arichlowvoicebesidemepulledmefrom

thepainting.

Iliftedmyemptyglass.“Idon’tusuallydrink.”

“Imeantsomethingstronger.”

Idrankthemaninthen.Hewasaninchortwotallerthanme,withaswarthyskintoneandblack

hair that fell to his shoulders in a silky-looking curtain. Dark green eyes swept over me. He wore

fadedholeyjeansmoldedtohislong,leanlegs.Thecurveofhisfulllipswasallaboutinvitationand

thetattoopeekingfromhisshirtsleevesaidhewasarebel.

“Idon’treally—”

Hepushedhishandintomine.“I’mGideon.”

“Liam.”

Hewithdrewhishandwithalow,vibratingchuckle.“Didn’tmeantostartleyou.You’vestoodin

frontofthispaintingforhalfanhour.Iwonderedwhatyouwerethinking.”

“It’sbeautiful.”

“Youwantit?”

“Um.”

Gideonrearedbackandlaughedstraightfromhisbelly.“Iputyouonthespotagain.Sorry.How

aboutthatdrink?”

ThisisprobablywhyDevhasguarddogsonme.LetmelooseinthecityandI’mliabletogohome

withthefirsthot-to-trotstrangerIsee.Andfuck,hewashot.

ChapterNine

NKOTB

“ISHOULDREALLYHEADhome.”

“Foodthen.Everyoneneedstoeat.”DoubledimplesslidintoGideon’scheekswhenhegrinned.

Hehelduphishands,makingpeacewiththewaryanimal.

“Okay.”Ioptedforadrinkinabarandsomechowinsteadofagloryholeinarestroom.

Ormaybehe’dtakemehome,fuckmeforhours...hewasn’ttherightguy,buthewastempting.

Verytempting.

Weleftthegallery,butnotuntilGideonwashugged,rubbed,andpossiblygropedwaymorethan

meinthepastweekwhileitbecamecleartomehewasthepainter.

Hewasunusuallycalming,easygoing,effortlesslyfillingintheconversationalgaps.Hesteered

meintoaquietlittlecafé,throughthemainroom,andouttoacourtyardinthebackwhereflowers

bloomedandafountainflowed.

I’dneverbeentakenanywhereexceptforglitzycasinosandsticky-flooredbars.

Isatonthetinyironchairthatrockedonunevenpavingslabswithmyweight.Gideonwinkedat

mebeforedivingbeneaththetable.

Whoaboy!

He padded the feet of my chair with folded cardboard coasters then coasted his hands over my

calveswhileIfoughtdownagroaninmythroat.

Scootingout,hehuffedtheblackhairoffhisforehead.“Thatshoulddoyou.”

Mylegswereonfirefromhistouchalone.Hecandome.

“What’syourpleasure?”heasked.

“Meat.”Iblurted.“Um,I’mnotavegetarian,Imean.”

“Okay.Theyhaveawickedcharcuteriehere.Caretoshareitwithme?”

Iwassooutofmydepth,Isimplynodded.

Orderswereplaced.Drinksarrived.Coldbeersinicedmugs.Ichuggedmine.

“You seem a little startled, Liam. I promise I’m not out to steal your virtue.” Gideon’s fingers

movedupanddowntheglassinaseeminglysexualgesture.Thiswaswhatmonthsofcelibacygot

me:cottonmouthandahardcockandwishfulthinking.“Youweretoobeautifulnottoapproach,and

Ilearnedafewyearsagotimeisn’ttobewasted.”

Hepushedbackfromthetable,foldinghislargehands,coloredindabsofpaint,inhislap.

“Why?”

“It’snotreallyafirstdatestory.”

“Isthisafirstdate?”Iasked.

“I’dlikeittobe,unlessI’vegotyouallwrong.”Hishandsomefeaturesbecameearnest.

“I’mnotout.Work-related.”Thetruthtastedoddinmymouth.

Reaching across the table, Gideon rubbed the back of my hand in a distracting pattern. “That’s

tough.Doesanyoneknow?”

“Onlyafew.”

“Yourfamily?”

“Idon’t...Ican’ttalkaboutit.”

Withasmileslowlycurvinghislips,hefitourhandstogether.Myheartbeatpulsedlikeadrumin

my throat, and when he lifted my hand, softly bringing my hard flesh to his warm mouth, my eyes

shutteredclosed.

Humancontact.

Malecontact.

WhenGideonreleasedme,Isankbackinmychair,watchinghimfrombeneathheavyeyelidsas

thethumpofsuddenattractionswamthroughmybody.

Dinnerarrivedononeplateweshared.Thatwasafirstforme.Sowasflirting.Gideonmadeit

easy. He was sexy, sensual, and damn interesting. Everything I wanted in a man, except he wasn’t

Michael,theoneIwantedmost.

“Areyoulocal?”heaskedovercoffee,minedecafofcourse.

“Itravelalot.”

“Youlookfamiliar.”

“Probably just the Irish in me.” I grinned at him just before glimpsing a large figure in my

peripherystridingcloserandcloser.

“I’d like to see you again.” Gideon’s chair scraped against the flagstones as he leaned in,

practicallyfuckinghypnotizingme.

Hislipscamecloser,almostonmine,whichIlickedinanticipation.

SuddenlyMichael—fuckingMichael!—plantedhisfistsonthetable.

“Liam,”hishardvoicecameoutlikeagrowl.

Ijoltedbackinmyseatalmostknockingthefuckingtinythingoffitslegs.

Gideon’s hand lingered on my thigh as if he couldn’t care less who this big blond man was,

toweringoverus.

Ireleasedalowgroan—halffrustration,halftemptation—wonderingjusthowmuchMichaelhad

witnessed.Fumblinginmypocketformywallet,IdislodgedGideon’swarmtouch.

HecontinuedtobeunperturbedbyMichael’sinterruptionandhisunswervingblankblackglare.

Standing with a slinky casualness that only highlighted Michael’s stiff posture, he offered his

hand.“GideonMarks.Pleasuretomeetyou.”

Michaelshookitashisjawthrobbed.“Likewise.Absolutely.”DroppingGideon’shandlikeitwas

apieceofranktrash,heturnedhisannoyanceonme.“We’vebeenlookingforyouallafternoonand

evening.”

“Lookslikeyoufoundme.”Islappedawadofbillsonthetable.

“I’mjustwatchingoutforyourbestinterests,”Michaelhissed.

Whichincludesnotevergettingmycockblownagain.MikeyhasmoreincommonwithDevlinthan

hethinks.

“Idon’tneedagoddamnminder.AndyoucanmindyourowndamnbusinessaftertheweekI’ve

had.”

Michael’s normally light eyes flipped wide before narrowing into slate-colored slits of

suppressedfury.“Inthatcase,I’llwaitoutside.”

“Dothat.”

AsMichaelretreatedthroughtherestaurant,IglancedatGideon.Hehadahalf-formedsmileon

hislips.

“He’sintense.”Heshovedmymoneyatmeandputacreditcardonthetable.Healsotookouta

pen,notaperfectbusinesscard,andscribbledhisnameandnumberonanapkinhepushedintomy

pantspocket.“Itlookslikearoughroadforyousoifyoueverwanttotalk,callme...Iwon’tlie,

Liam,I’dlovetofuckyou,butI’vebeenthere.”

IwentinforahandshakebutGideondisarmedmeagain,pullingmeintoahug.Aprolongedhug

asnewelectricarousalthunderedthroughme.Hiswarmlipstrailedupmythroatandacrossmyjaw

wherehelightlynippedme.Iheldontohimamomentlonger,submergedinthefeelofamanagainst

me.Amanwhoclearlywantedmewithoutreservationsoranyfuckingmindgamestomesswithme.

Ididn’tlookbackwhenIleftthecafé,andIsureashelldidn’tlookforwardtoexplainingthings

toMichael.TherewasmostcertainlyaslightreddeningonmyneckfromGideon’ssoftstubblewhen

ImetMichaelonthesidewalk.

“What the fuck are you doing, Liam?” He started right in, and here I’d thought he was in my

corner.

“Eating. Food. You know, the delicious, digestible kind.” I pulled on my jacket. “Oh, and we

talked.Itwascrazy.Iactuallyhadarealconversationwithapersonwhoisn’tonmypayroll.”

“Italktoyou.”Hischeekstingedpink.

“Aboutboxingandbullshit.”

Michaelsworealowcurseandstartedoffdowntheroadatafastclip.Lengtheningmystrides,I

caughtupwithhim,shovingmyhandsinmypockets.

“Gethisnumber?”ThesideofMichael’sjawpulsedandheglaredstraightahead.

“Matter of fucking fact, I did. Gideon’s a pretty talented painter. I might buy one for my

apartment.”

“Hmmf.”

Michael was ripshit pissed for some reason as with every mention of Gideon’s name his anger

notchedhigher.

Subway,silence,troublebrewing.

OrmaybeapossibleflashofattractionfromMichaeltowardmeIwasinterestedinexploringthe

hell out of until we caught sight of Devlin. Waiting outside my door per usual. With a gorgeous

blondewomanathisside,presumablyavailabletorelievemytension.

The statuesque woman killed the flame of interest I thought I’d seen in Michael’s eyes, leaving

nothingbutblackfuryinhisexpression,andanimmediatecaseoflimpdickinmypants.

“Icantakecareofmyself.”IstaredDevlindown,barelyglancingatthewomanboughttokeepup

appearances.

WhenIcapturedMichael’sunsettledeyes,Iheldthemuntilhecursedunderhisbreath.

Hestalkedawaywithoutabackwardglance.

“Suityourself.”Devsaunteredoffwiththewomanintow.

IsettledinforanightofTripleDinsteadoftriple-Xthreesomesex.Yup,itwasallaboutme,Guy

Fieriwithhisbig-assrings...andDiners,Drive-ins,andDives.

I wondered what Michael was doing as I cleaned off my glasses and stuck them on so I could

bettervisuallyingestthegrease,thebacon,theburgersonTV.

HewasprobablyGoogle-fuckinghisboyfriend,orwhateverthatshitwas.Mystomachcurdled,

anditwasn’tbecauseblondspikyGuyFierijustshovedafistfulofcheese-dripping,starch-heavenly,

munchies-wonderlandintohismouth.

IwenttobedwithabonerthesizeofNebraskaandoneman’snameonmylips.

The next morning, I shouted awake when someone pounded on my door. I tried to shove my

morningwooddownbeneaththesweatsIpulledon,butithadotherideas.Myhard-ontentedupand

hitthewaistbandatmyhip.Screwit.

IopenedthedoortoMichael,whowasonwake-upduty.Hesmelledfresh.Hewasclean-shaven.

Hedidnothelpmysweatpantssituation.

Hisgazestoppedpreciselyatmythickcockwedgedagainstthethinmaterial.

“Our flight leaves in two hours, and I’m going to work your ass out so hard when we get to

Chicagoyouwon’tbeabletositdownforaweekwithoutrememberingme.”

Fuckyes.Workmyassout.Whatareyouwaitingfor?

Istackedbothhandsovermystiffie.

Hebithisbottomlip,hischeeksflushing,hiseyessuddenlyflashingtomine.

“Didyoucallhim?”Michaelasked.

“Who?”

“Gideon.”

“No.WhydoyoucareanywayifIhaveafriend?”

Michael leaned in until his breath stuttered across my lips. Minty fresh, of course. “Because he

doesn’t want to be your friend, Liam.” He grasped my shoulders, his thumbs digging into the hard

muscles. “You really need to pay attention to how you affect people. Leading him on like that—not

cool,man.”

“Excuseme?”Pardonmeandcomeagain.

“ThatguyGideon,inthecafé.Hewantedtofuckyou,Liam.”

Ireveledinhisgorgeousblondangerforamomentwhilehestoodthere,seething.

Icockedaneyebrow.

Grinnedinalazyway.

“Youknowwhat?”Releasingthetieatmywaist,IeasedbackfromMichael.“Alotofpeoplewant

tofuckmeinonewayoranother.Butnobodyhas.Yet.”Idroppedmysweatstomyfeet,staringathis

pumpingchest.

Hiseyesskimmedlowtomybighardbarecock,andhesuckedinaharshbreath—ahotashell

sound—thatendedinagroan.

Steppingoutofthepuddleofsweatsatmyfeet,IshutthedoorinMichael’sface.

Lethimchokeonthat.

ChapterTen

WindyCity

NEXT ON MY US tour was a trip to the Windy City in prep for early prefight promotions for my

July bout. That one would be the biggest yet. Reggie Jones, my latest opponent, was the only man

standingbetweenmeandashotattheHeavyweightBelt.

Michaelwasmorerelaxed.Probablyhadsomethingtodowithbeingonhishometurfwherehe

sharedanapartmentwithboyfriendWade.Forthefirsttimeinayear,Mikeystayedoff-site.Hecame

to the hotel just long enough to deliver my cardboard-cutout food and met me at the gym to force

gallonsofsweatfrommybodyduringourworkouts.

TheonlytimeImanagedtoletmymindgowaswhenIpumpediron,jumpedrope,orjabbedthe

punchingbagsofastitblurred.MichaelandIdidn’tsparagainwithquitethesamelustyviciousness

as in New York City. We also maintained a rigorous separate shower schedule. I lived for the quiet

hoursofyoga,whenweworkedourbodiesinanentirelydifferentsexierway...andthemassages.

Withmydietaryandworkoutneedsmet,MichaelscootedoffeverynighttoplayhousewithThe

Boyfriend.ThatshitmademecrazierthanabullduringtherunninginPamplona.IfIcouldroamthe

streets,goringpeople,Iwould.

InsteadIhadtomakedowiththeSaturdaynightfake-fightandautograph-festforReggieJones

and me. Students, vendors, and fans from famous celebs to die-hard street-born boxing junkies

packed the UIC Pavilion to the gills. Our sponsors outdid themselves, revving up the marketing

machinetwomonthspriortoourMadisonSquareGardenmatch.

Thetwoofusstoodinthecenterofthering,posingforcameras,andtradingmock-punchesand

smack-talk.Icouldn’tbelievethismanypeoplepaidgoodmoney,andwedidn’tevenhavetofuckup

eachother ’sfaces.

Reggiewasasbigasanarmytank.Hisskinwasblackcoffee-colored.Hestaredatmewithstone-

cold eyes, and his grim expression never wavered as we put on a spectacle for the cheering

spectators.

Thecrowdatethatshitup.

IthelpedthatAnyaandanotherlong-leggedladycamealongfortheride.Theyswungtheirhair,

shimmiedtheirboobs,andcausedanotherroundofcatcalls.

This dual dog-and-pony show was good practice. I paid close attention to Reggie’s form and

technique.Hehadalongreach,butIhadquickerreflexes,atleastinthisfriendlybout.Myattention

only wavered from Reggie when I spied Michael smiling at some guy in the front row. Had to be

WadetheWeasel.

Ishookmyselfoutofmygreen-eyedangerlongenoughtopseudo-sparwithReggieforanother

fiveminutes.Workingupadecentsweatinthering,hegrowledinsultsaboutkickingmywhiteIrish

ass,andIflungbackslursabouthowIcouldn’twaittoconnectarealpunchwithhisuglymug.

Peoplelaughed;hell,eventheusuallysternrefchuckled.ItwasallgoodtimesuntilMikeywinked

atwonderfulWade.

The bell rang. Shouts reverbed throughout the coliseum. Flowers, notes, even freakin’ stuffed

animalsflewatReggieandmeaswestoodshouldertoshoulderinthecenterofthering.Confettiand

balloonsinblack,red,green,andorangeraineddownonthecrowdfromthevastceilingabove.

After the air cleared, Reggie looked over at me. A glimmer of humor replaced his gruff

expression. “That wasn’t so bad. Wouldn’t mind putting on the circus act in a few years instead of

gettingmyheadbashedallthetime.AfterItakeyoudown,ofcourse,Shaughnessy.”

“Inyourdreams,Jones.Andthat’salsowhereI’mgonnabeyourworstnightmare.”Ijerkedmy

chinathim.

Michaelhoppedinsidetheringandgrabbedmyglovedhand.HeledmeovertoBoyfriendwitha

DeathWishWade.

Ionlydraggedmyheelsalittle.BecausedidIreallywannameetmycompetitionwhodidn’teven

knowhewasmycompetition?

Ontheway,Anyakissedmycheek.

Fanssighed,“Awwww.”

Seansmackedmyass,andDevlingavemehischa-chingsmile.

Then I was face-to-face with Wade. Talk about killing my mood. He was a ginger with boyish

frecklesonaruggedface.Awesome.Ihatedhimonsight.Wantedtopoundhimintothegroundthen

usetheCaddytorunrightoverhim.

“Wade, this is Liam Shaughnessy.” Michael blushed a little. “Well, I guess you know who he is

already.Liam,thisismylover,WadeNichols.”

Alittlepartofmediedinsidewhenhesaidlover.

“Pleasure.”IwishedIstillhadamouthguardinsoIdidn’thavetoliethroughmyclenchedteeth.

“I’mahugefan,Liam.It’snicetofinallymeetthemanMichaeltalksaboutallthetime.”

Thatperkedmeupsome.Ishookhishandor,rather,heshookmyglove.Thenheleanedtoward

Michaelforakiss.

Ugh.

Ididn’tstickaroundtowatchanymoreoftheirPDAs.Ihadpeopletotalkto,fanstohug,asore

hearttohide.Wadewasprobablynice,smart,funny,goodlooking.Whatever.Stillhatedhimonsight.

ThepartywentonforanhourafterwardasReggieandIworkedthecrowd,largeandinliving

color.Mypeoplemingledwithhis.Isignedautographs,scribblingmynameonanypieceofpaperor

glossy 8x10 shoved at me. I hugged women, fist-bumped men, posed with eager fans. And totally

ignoredthehappyfuckingcouplealwaysinthesidelineofmyvisionnomatterhowhardItriedto

tunethemout.

Fuckthem.Besides,itwasdamncoolhangingwithfolkswho’dfollowedmyjourneyfromlittle

knownbruisertoTheBonnyBruiser.Hell,therewereeventeensthere.Onescrawnykidgrabbedmy

armthenimmediatelydroppeditasifhethoughtIwasgonnatakeajabathim.

“Sorry,man,Ididn’tmeantotouchthehardware,”theskinnyboyapologized.

“It’scool.I’msavingallmyhitsforReggie,”Ishoutedacrosstomyopponent.

Thekidgrinnedandshovedhisbrownhairfromhisface.“Yourtat’sthefuckingshit,man.Iwish

Icouldberippedlikeyou.”

“Youhitthegymandstayoffthedrugs,youcouldbulkup,too.Orifthat’snotyourthing,hitthe

books,bro.”Iturnedaroundandflexedforhim,makingmywingedtatbeefup.

WhenIglancedovermybulgingshoulder,Michael’seyeswerelockedonme.

Itriedanothergymbunnyposeandwatchedhiseyesgrowhuge.BythetimeIfinishedchatting

withthesquirt,Michaelwasbesideme.

“Comeon.Let’sgetyoucooleddown.”Heescortedmethroughthecrowd.

Ohyeah.IsentasmirkbacktoWade.Althoughthecoolingdownpartwasnotlikely.

Onceinsidethelockerroomassignedtome,theadrenalinerushthatkeptmeonmyfeetforthe

hoursofplayingperformingmonkeyworeoff.Iwassuddenlywipedoutandbone-weary.

I showered and changed into my sweats. Hustled into an SUV, I accepted the chipmunk fodder

Michael handed me as well as a bottle of water. I chugged two on the way to my hotel. One of the

ever-presentbodyguardsdrovewhiletheotherremainedSecretServicesilent.

Intheparkinggarage,Islidoutafterthepairofbodyguards.

“You don’t have to come up,” I said to Michael as he got out. “It wasn’t even a real fight, ya

know?”

Hepushedhishandsintothepocketsofhisjeans.“Really?Youlooklikeyou’vebeenthroughthe

wringeranyway.”

Ishrugged.

Hewalkedtowardme.“Ithinkweshouldkeepuptheroutinewe’veestablished.Thenextfightis

gonnatakeallourprep-work,andweshouldn’tslackonanything.”Pressingtheelevatorbutton,he

added,“Reggieisnotfuckingaround,champ.”

“That’sgood.NeitheramI.”Noteveninbed.Unfortunately.

My digs weren’t as grand as the suite in Vegas, but I had a view of the Gold Coast. While I

undressed, Michael stared out the windows toward Lake Michigan. The floor-to-ceiling glass

capturedmynakedreflection.

Ilayonthetablehe’dsetupinmyroomassoonaswe’darrivedinChi-town,andcushionedmy

headonmyarms.IdraggedthetowelupovermybuttwhileMichaeloiledandwarmedhishandswith

soundsbettersuitedtolubingcockforalong,hardass-fuckthanapost-faux-fightmassage.

“Tenderanywhere?”Hishandsslippedfrommyshoulderstothebaseofmyspine.

Trymycrotch.“Allover.”

“You’restillrecoveringfromHernandez.”

“Nottomentionyou.”Isquirmedbeneathhistouch.

Michaelswattedmeontheass.“Ididn’thurtyouthatmuch.”

Ifonlyheknew.

“Andyougotinatonofstrikesyourself,”hemurmured.

Underhissoothingtouch,Igotniceanddrowsy.Michaelhummedasheworked.Hisfingertips

dugintomyglutesontopofthetowel.Ihumpedupthenslammedbackdown,myerectionrubbing

againstthesheetbeneathme.

“Youtalkedtothatkidforalongtimetonight.Youpickupfanseverywhere,don’tyou?”

“Helikedmytat.”

Hesentasharperslapacrossmyass,andIhissed.ThatseemedtobeanewthingwithMikey.And

holyshit,itfeelsgood.

“I like your tat.” The fingers of both his hands skimmed across the Wing and a Prayer ink

coveringmybackfromthedipofmyspineuptomyshoulders.

Hepaidspecialattentiontotheshiveryspotthatcenteredbetweenmyshoulderblades.

ThefeelofMichael’sfingersswirlingupanddownmybackgrabbedmebythenutsack.Butthe

thoughtofhimgoinghometoWadeburnedaholerightthroughmyheart.

Mybonerfeltwrongallofasudden.MydesireforMichaelfeltdirty,notbecauseIwasqueerand

livedinfearofitbecomingpublic,butbecauseIdidn’tthinkhehadanyideahowheaffectedme.

Ifhedid,whywouldhekeepdoingthistome?

Iclaspedhiswristandrolledover.

Hisgazewidenedonmyrockhardshaftlyingfullandfatandglisteningallthewayupmybelly

abovethefuckingtowelIrushedtocovermyselfwith.Ithrewmyforearmovermycock,hopingit

wouldgodown.

“Gobewithyourboyfriend.”Ichokedoutmywords.

Icouldn’tstandtohaveMichael’shandsonmybodywhilehethoughtaboutsomeoneelse.

“Youreallyneedafullbodyrub.”Hiseyesdriftedtomine.

“Nah,I’mgood.”IsnaggedmyrobeandsliditonasIstood.“I’lleatsomeWheatiesorWheat

Thinsorwhatevershityou’vestockedmyroomwith.Takeanothershower.Hitthesack.”

Hewipedhishandsonthetowelslungfromthepocketofhisjeans.“Thoseareyourhotplansfor

tonight?”

“Probablynothinglikewhatyou’vegotwaitingforyou.”WhyinthehellhadIsaidthat?

“Wadeiswaiting.”

My stomach hit a whole new level of low no amount of fast food would ever make better. “I’m

sorry’boutkeepingyouawayfromhim.”

“You’renot.You’renotkeepingmeawayfromhim.”

Huh?

“Makesuretoworkoutallthosemusclestonight,Liam.”

TheoneIwishedhereferredtoplumpedimmediatelybacktolife.

Bitter,pissedoff,andwellonmywaytohorny,IshutthedoorbehindMichael.

TimeforaFoodNetworkmarathonorwhackingoff,exceptIcouldn’tevenfuckmyfistanymore

becauseguiltriddledme.

TheotheroptionwasreadingAGameofThronesuntilInoddedoff.AtleastTyriontheimpmade

me laugh, and I could message Anya about the book since she was an addict, too. The series had

action,intrigue,andawholelotofbrutalplots.Plus,GeorgeR.R.Martin’sweirdfooddescriptions

wereenoughtoputmeoffgoingtoanall-nightdiner.Pigeonpiewasprobablythekindofnastystuff

Michaelwantedtoslipintomydiet.

Therewasalsothepromiseofdragons,andthatcalledtotheclosetgeekinme.

ChapterEleven

ColdCocked

IMETMICHAELATthegymthenextafternoonafterrunningaroundtheblockacouplethousand

times.Itriedtosettlemynerves,mystomach,myhead.Iwasn’tsurehowI’dreacttoseeinghimafter

lastnight,knowinghe’dprobablyspenthourslockedinasweatyembracewithBoyfriendWade.

IfMichaelworealookoffucked-so-goodIwasdefinitelygonnabecranky.Crankierthanusual.

HeseemedlikehisnormalselfwhenIcaughtuptohiminthelockerroom...andthankChrist

he’dalreadychangedbecauseIdidn’tneedtoseebitemarks,lovebites,orbruisesfromfingertips

that’dgrippedhishipstootightthenightbefore.

Inarrowedmyeyesathim,andhesmiledpleasantlyinreturn.Thatbastardboyfriendhadnoright

puttingMichaelinsuchagoodmood.Hebetternotstartwhistlingnext.

Idroppedmybagonthebench,shedmyclothes,andswitchedtrackpantsforgymshorts.Michael

turnedhisback.

Sowe’rebacktothisgame.Hideandpeek.

Siftingthroughmybag,Ipulledoutamuscleshirt.

“Leavetheshirtoff.”

IarchedaneyebrowwhenMichaelglancedatme.“Why?”

“BecauseIwanttostudyyourform.”

Didhenotunderstandmycockneedednoencouragement,nomatterhowlittle?AndIwantedto

studyhisform,too,preferablyinmotion,ridingme.

Iplantedmyfeetonthefloor.“Fine.”

Michaelpivotedaround.Hisgazedriftedoverme,startingatmylegsandtravelinguptomyface.

Heatflashedacrossmyskininthewakeofhisstudy.

“I didn’t get a chance to tell you last night, but you handled the crowd really well, Liam.” His

warmpalmsettledonmyneck.

Istrugglednottogroanwhenhetouchedme.

“Howareyoufeelingtoday?”heasked.

Befuddled,bemused,morethanalittlebeatupinallthewrongplaces,beginningwithmyheart.

Ioptedforasimple,“Kindatiredandusedup.”

“Justyoga,then.”

“Do Sean and Devlin know you make me do this?” I asked as he dragged me from the locker

roomtoaprivatestudio.

“Whattheydon’tknowwon’thurtthem.”

TheverywordsIlivedby.

Asthesoundofclassicalmusicfilledtheroom,Imeltedintotheslow-motiondanceofourtwo

bodies.Ididn’tworryaboutmyattractiontoMichael,orthinkaboutfuckinghim.Iwonderedwhatit

wouldbelikemakinglovetohim,learninghisbodywithmyeyes,myhands,mymouth.Imirrored

hissmoothmotionsaswestoodinfrontofeachother.

Atonepointhemovedbehindme,helpingmeintoamoredifficultpose.Ismelledhim.Ifelthim

—fullyman,roughhands,gentleguidance.Hestretchedmylegsfromthightocalftoankle.

Anhourlater,wefinishedonthemats,flatonourbacks,withourheadsturnedtoeachother.

“Breathelikeme,”Michaelwhispered.“Letitflowthroughyou,lettheworriesgowitheachslow

exhalation.”

MychestfilledandemptiedintimetohisasIwatchedhislipsparttoemiteverylongbreath.I

closedmyeyes,concentratingon...nothing.WhenIblinkedthemopen,Michaelkneeledbehindmy

head.Heleanedovermyface.Studyingme.

Iroseup,buthepushedmebackdown.

“Liestill.”

It felt as if he’d drugged me, with goddamn yoga, or maybe it was his mesmerizing body, his

incrediblysteelyeyes.Irelaxedonthefloor,nothingbutapuddleofcontentedmuscle.Fromabove

me,hetrailedhisfingersupmyneck.Theywanderedacrossmyforeheadtomytemples.

“Closeyoureyesagain.”

Every touch, each stroke was more powerful because my usual adrenaline punch and keen

perception were removed. I tried to take steadying breaths, but they grew ragged, and I almost

moaned from the simple pleasure of his fingers unwinding the tension from my temples, my

shoulders,andlastly,thebackofmyneck.

Thiswasn’toneofhisusualpostfightmassages.

Therewasnothingclinicalaboutit.

Itwasasifhewascaringforme,becausehewantedto.

Myhandslaystillbesideme,mylegsspreadopen,mylipsparted.

Herestedmyheadonhislegs.Hisfingertipsbrusheddownmychest.Fromhispositionbehind

meonthefloor,hisgroinwasdangerouslyclosetomyface.

“Thatfeelsgood,”Imurmured.

“Iknow,baby.”Hishandsskimmedbacktomypecs,leavingchillsghostingupmyskin.

IpretendedIhadn’theardhimcallmebaby.Whywouldhedothat?Ifloatedinsteadintheseaof

warmpleasurehecreated.Thoselargehandsendedonmyface.Atthelastmoment,beforehescooted

fromunderme,hebrushedhisthumbacrossmylowerlip.

A towel dropped over my lap from above—probably a very good thing. Then Michael used

anothertoswipemychest,myshoulders,myneck,andfaceinsoftslowstrokes.

Tuggingatmypalm,hepulledmetositting.Hesatthere,cross-leggedinfrontofme.Hepassed

meabottleofwaterandhummedwithapprovalwhileIdownedit.

“Youwereinthezonetoday,myman.Thatwasbeautifultowatch.”Hebitdownonhisbottomlip

ashischeeksflushed.

Something shifted between us. It didn’t take away the sting of stupid jealousy, but it soothed my

rawemotions.

Ibowedtowardhim.“Thatisonlybecauseyouareamasteryogi.”

“Fuckoffwithyou.”

Wechuckledforamoment,butwhenIpeeredbehindmeIgroaned.“We’vegotanaudience.”

Amultitudeoffemalefacesgluedtothewindows,infact.

“Youshouldbeusedtothatbynow.”

Westoodtoleave,butIdidn’twanttheintimacyofthemomenttoend.

“CanIaskyousomething?”

“Sure, but if it’s one of those straight-guy gay-curious things, I might have to punch you.” He

smirked.

“Oh.”Iclampedmymouthshut.

“I’mjustshittingyou,Liam.Shoot.”

Iscratchedahandthroughmyhair.“Um.Howwasitforyou,comingout?”

“That’saloadedquestion.Whydoyouwanttoknow?”

BecauseIdon’tknowwhatthefuckI’mdoingmostofthetime,unlessI’minthering?“Ijustdon’t

wannaseeminsensitive,andyousaidsomestuffaboutthatguyGideonImet,and...”

Michael made an impatient noise, grabbing the ends of the towel draped around his neck. “That

Gideonguywasalittletoofuckingforwardwithyou.Ihopeyou’renotthinkingaboutcontactinghim

whenwegetbacktoNewYork.”

“Whynot?”

“Becausehewantstoscrewyou,that’swhy.Jesus.”

“ButI’mnot...it’snot...”

Anotherfrustratedhuffsounded.

“Youdon’thavetotellme,Michael.”Iheadedforthedoor.

“Wait. Wait a minute!” He captured my arm. “I was the golden boy of my family. Sponsors,

scholarships,WorldCupdestiny,glory.ThenIgotthisbumknee.Itwasablessing,Liam.”

Iturnedaroundandhishandfellaway.“Why?”

“Ididn’thavetopretendanymoretokeepuptheappearanceofthebruteathlete,themanlyman.”

Heshrugged.“Youwouldn’tunderstand.That’showyouare.”

“Don’tyoudarejudgemebecauseofwhatyouthinkyouknowaboutme.”Isenthimawithering

glare.“Youdon’tknowmeallthatmuch.IlikeartandIreadbooksandIdon’tthinkanyoneshould

beashamedofwhotheylove.”

“Evenifit’stwomen?”

That’sexactlywhatIwant!“Whocares?Idon’t.”

Michael’sdampblondhairtumbledintohiseyeswhenhedroppedhishead.“Sorry,youjustget

sousedtobeingdefensive.”

“Tellmeaboutit.”

“Myparentswereokaywithit.SometimesIthinktheyhadtobebecauseI’mtheironlychild.”

“Idoubtthat,Mikey.”

“Mikey?”

Icrossedmyarmsovermychest.“Yeah.”

“Okay.”Asmilepeekedaroundthecornersofhismouth.

“Whendidyouknow?Whowasyourfirst?”

“Iwasfifteen.ItwasWade.”

Shit. Worse than I thought. The futility of wanting Michael fell onto my shoulders like a two

hundred-poundweight.“Soyou’rehighschoolsweethearts.”

“Yeah.Wescrewedaroundontheslyinhighschool.Brokeupwhenwewentourseparateways

for college. He was my first but not my only.” Michael chewed on his lip. “Got back together after

theypinnedmykneebackinplace.Wadewasatmybedsidenightandday.Wecameouttogetherto

ourfriendsandfamily.”

“He’sdevotedtoyou.”

“Thingschangethough.Whowasyourfirst?”

“MargaretMorrissey.Notthebestnightofmylife.”

“Whatwas?”

Icouldn’ttellhimitwaseverynighthewaswithme,ornow,beingherewithhimlikethis.“Don’t

haveoneyet.”

“Whatareyouwaitingfor?”

You.

“Yourfolksmustloveyouverymuch.”Idraggedmyeyesfromhis.

“Don’tyours?”

“My mom, yeah. My da, it’s a crapshoot. Usually including a fifth of whiskey and a carton of

smokes.”

“Christ, what have you been through?” He slid his hand into my hair and fisted it with just the

rightamountofpressuretomakemewonderifMikeylikeditalittlebitrough.“IwishIcoulddo

moretotakeawayyourpain.”

“Who?Me?Justthewarofthestreetsandthebattlefortotalboxingdomination.Igetoffonthe

pain.”

Hetightenedhisgrip.“Idon’tlikeseeingyouhurt.”

Ourtimeranout,andtheroomstartedtofillwhetherweweredonewithourheart-to-heartornot.

Michaelletmelooseandshadowedmetothelockerroom.Wechosecubiclesinseparateblocks,and

whenwemet—withtowelshookedaroundourwaists—webothglancedaway.

Iwantedhimtoshowerwithmeandletmetowelhimdry.InsteadIshovedcleanclothesovermy

wetbodyandslippedsilentlyoutthedoorwithnogoodbye.

When I got to my suite, food steamed from under a covered plate on the bar. Next to the main

course,theundressedsalad,andthebottleofsparklingwater,anothersilverdishfrostedover.

Iliftedthelid.

Amotherfuckinghotfudgesundae.

Therewasanote:

We’reworkingthisoffwithanextrahourtomorrow.

I’dtrythedessertfirst.

Michael

ChapterTwelve

DoubleDate,DoubleHate

WE STUCK AROUND IN Chicago the following week, working the born-and-bred in the Midwest

angle.OnWednesday,Devarrangedadatenightforme.Blesshisgolddiggerheart.

AnyaandIrodetotherestaurant,infraughtconversationaboutHBO’sGameofThrones version

versusthebooks.

WhenweexitedtheSUV,Itookherarminmine.Anotherroundofflashesfromcamerasinmy

faceblindedme.Meanwhile,Anyamewledatalltheappropriatemoments.

Inside, I scanned the room, stopping at Michael who stood from a table at the rear. He looked

everybitaspissedoffasIsuddenlywas.

“YouletDevambushme?”IaskedAnya.

“Idonotknowwhatambushmeans,butMr.Finkelsteinsetthisup.Yes.”

TherewasaveryrealpossibilityI’dhaveenjoyedmy“date”withAnya.Therewasnowayinhell

I’dsurviveadouble-fucking-datewithMichael.Athisside,Wadesmiled.

“I’mnotlikingthis,”Isnarled.

Anyaleftherfringedshawlbehindandgatheredmyhandinhers.“Youdon’thaveto.Justmake

Mykhailolikeyou.”

My heart stuttered. This was nothing more than another engineered promo stunt from Dev. I

couldn’tbequeerbutneededtomakeapublicshowofLGBTsupport—hismessagewasclear.Good

to know double standards were alive and well. I’d rather be reading in my suite with Anya, who at

leastsnuckmecheese-stuffedpiroshki.

Michael’seyessnappedtomine.Ibethewonderedifmyquestionstheotherdayhadtodowith

this new gay-friendly byline. Dev had thrown me under a bus, speeding toward my doom, with no

seatbelt.Whatapal.

Michael wore a suit tailored to his broad shoulders, nipped in at the waist. Wade, I passed over.

Anyawasdressedinasveltereddress—thedevilindisguise—whileI’dputmybestfootforwardina

batteredleatherjacket,motorcycleboots,andatightTtogowithmyjeans.

WaderosetohisfeetbesideMichaelandheldouthishand.“Nicetoseeyouagain,champ.”He

noddedatme.

MygazeflippedtoMichaelandshutdown.Noonebuthimhadtherighttocallmethat...and

he’dtoldhislover.

Michael glanced at Wade before he smoothed his features over. “His name is Liam.” His voice

wascool.

“Ofcourse.”Wadelookedsuitablychided.

AnyaintroducedherselftoWadetheWankFace.Theothertwotooktheirseats,andIheldAnya’s

outforher.MythumbbrushedherneckasIpushedherin.

Michael’sgazepinpointedonthecaress.Thepalpabletensionatthetablerisinganothernotch,I

satandwentrightforthewinelist.

“We’veorderedabottle.”Wade’seasygoingsmileannoyedtheever-lovingshitoutofme.

“Liam’snotdrinking,”Michaelsaidwithoutevenliftinghisheadfromhismenu.

“Tonight,IthinkIam.”

“Then tomorrow I’m gonna own your ass for two more hours than usual.” The husky drop in

Mikey’svoiceworkeditssexymagiconme.

“Bringit.”

“Iwill.”Hetookupmygauntlet.

Wade’s choked response at our barely veiled threats never left his gaping mouth. After that, his

facetookonaclamped-assexpression.

Isatbackinmyseat,prettyfuckingpleasedwithmyselfespeciallywhenInotedtheglimmerofa

grinliftingthecornersofMichael’slips.

Ohyeah,hewasgonnablastintometomorrow,andhecouldn’twait.NeithercouldI.Withone

armloopedaroundAnya’sbareshoulders,Isquintedatthemenu.

“Whydon’tyouputyourglasseson?”Michaelsuggested.

I may have growled under my breath. I hated showing a weakness in front of an opponent, and

Wade definitely constituted an opponent. I pulled my glasses from my pocket and slid them on. I

ignoredthetelltalepinkstainofheatfloodingmycheeks.

Michael’sslightgrinturnedintoawideslashofhislips.

Sittingacrossfromtheinlovecouplethroughthreecoursesplusdessertwasgrueling.Havingto

makesmalltalkandkeepupthebanterwasevenworse.Atleasttheydidn’tgetuptoanyhanky-panky.

Butthen,whatdidIknow?Anythingcouldbegoingonunderthelongdrapeofthewhitetablecloth

ontheotherside.

ThenightwasapainfulexperiencemadeevenworsebecauseAnyawasnice,beautiful,smart,and

completelyunattractivetome.

Atleastsheknewthescore.

Wadedidnot.

Wadewasattentivetohispartnerbutnotclingy,notuntilhenoticedhowMichael’seyesglommed

ontomeasIstoodtoholdAnya’schairoutforherwhenshereturnedfromthelady’sroom.Then,all

bets were off. There was above-the-table hand holding with fiery-haired Wade sitting so close to

Michaelhewaspracticallyinhislap.Later,foronemoment,therewasabriefrustleontheotherside,

decidedly below the waist and perpetrated by Wade. Michael cursed softly, scooted his chair over a

bit,andwhisperedsomethingtohisboyfriend.

IbrieflyconsideredmackingonAnyajusttoeventheplayingfield,butwhatwoulditmatter?The

twoofthemhadbeentogethersince—ohyeah,howcouldIforget—high school, and I was nothing

butatagalongtonight.

Overcoffee,Michaelsippedfromhiscupandwatchedmeovertherim.I’daccededtodecafsince

he’d already lectured me about the filet mignon, baked potato with all the fixings, and the bowl of

sorbetI’deaten.

Dabbing at her mouth with her napkin while somehow managing to keep her fire engine-red

lipstickinplace,Anyaleanedherelbowsontothetable.“Mykhailo.Whenwasfirsttimeyouseeour

Liamfight?”

Theclever,clevervixen.

“Oh,I’msurehecan’tremember.”Wadefidgetedwiththehandleofhiscup.

“ItwasanightI’llneverforget,actually.”Michaelshookhishead.

Blondcurlsclungtohisforehead.Withonelegcrossedattheknee,helookedsogoddamnsexy

inhissuitIwantedtoripoffhistieandjumphisbones.

Iwasallears—afterIsubsumedtheimmediateneedtofuck—becauseI’dneverheardthisstory

before.

“ItwasinCincinnati.ColderthananoldwhoreoutsidethatNovembernight,butsohotintheU.S.

BankArena,snowcould’vemeltedonthefloor.”

IraisedmyhandtostopMichael.“Wait.YouwereattheoldRiverfrontColiseum?Yousawme,

fouryearsago?”

“Ididn’tjustseeyou.Iwentspecificallytowatchyou.I’dbeengettingintocagefightingbecause

ofsomeofmyPTclients,andman,youwerelikeamythicalbeingtheywhisperedabout.”

Holy.Shit.

Hiseyesshinedvividly.“Doyouremembertheotherguy?”

“JuantheJuggernaut.”Wesharedasmilenooneelsewasprivyto,notevenWade,whoturnedan

unattractiveshadeofpale.

That’sright,fucker.

“Ithoughtforsuretherewasnowaythisscrappyboy—you—couldgetoutofthecagealive,let

alonethewinner.Howbigwasheagain?”

“Almost a three-hundred-pounder. But I wasn’t a scrappy nothin’ by then. I was already at my

currentweight.JabbatheJuggernautjustmademelooksmall.Talkaboutsomeonewhoneedstogo

ononeofyourfamousfuckingrabbitdiets.”

LaughtershookthroughMichael.

Wadeglared.

Anyapressedherlegagainstmine.

“I’d already placed a ridiculous bet on you because of what the boys had said, and I was pretty

sure I’d be out my ticket back home after I watched you hop into the cage.” He pushed his fingers

throughhishair,smirkingtohimself.

“What?JustbecauseI’mIrish?”

“No.Becauseyouwerehandsomeandcockyandwaytoobigforyourbritches.”

Wadesputteredofftotheside.Noonepaidhimanyattention.

“Stillam.”Iliftedaneyebrow.

“Don’tIknowit?”Michaelreplied.

Anyajoinedherhandstogetherbeneathherdelicatechin.“Goon.”

Michael’svoicelowered.“I’dneverseenanythinglikeyou.Sure,you’rebig.You’vegotthebody

of a bruiser. But there’s something else about you, Liam. When you fight, you’re a predator, an

animal,butnotonethatgoesfortheobviouskill.Noway.It’slikeyouseduceyouropponentsinto

trustingyou.”

“That’suh...verypoetic.Noone’seversaidanythinglikethattomebefore.”Iwassoturnedon.

Igrippedtheedgeofthetableaswestaredatoneanother.

“Youluretheminforthestrike.It’sfuckingbeautiful,Liam.”Heleanedforward.“Youcrushed

Juantoyourwill.That’swhenIknewIwantedtoworkforyou.WhenIheardyouwentprofessional,

holy crap. I spent the next year boning up on my earliest love, boxing. I networked with dozens of

othertrainers,tookonanyfighterIcouldgetmyhandsonbeforeIapproachedSean,andhegotme

toDevlin.”

Anyaclappedherhands,squealingwithjoy.

Wadeshotoutofhisseat.

Hesplattedawadofcashontothetable.“Ithinkwe’regoinghomenow.”

Ipushedthecrispgreenbillsaway.“Ialwayspayformydates.”

“Areyouaccustomedtohavingseveral?”Wadesneered.

Woops.LookedlikeI’djustlostafan.

LikeIcared.

“There’sonlyone.”MygazelockedonMichael.

Hestoodmoreslowly,andhisthroatbobbedwhenheswallowed.Blinkingthoseintenseeyes,he

slidhisgazefromme.HesmiledthinlyatWade,andtheysaidtheirgoodnights—Michael’swarmer

than ever, Wade’s completely wooden. Striding out of the restaurant, they were already exchanging

low-voicedwords.

Anya and I watched in silence as they retreated. There was gonna be some fallout after this,

betweenthetwoofthemandprobablybetweenMichaelandmewhenhebroughtthehammerdown

onmetomorrow.YetIcouldn’tbringmyselftocarebecauseMikeyhadtakenaninterestinmelong

beforeI’deverknown.

IcollectedAnya’swrapanddrapeditoverhershoulders.

“Idon’tthinkWadeisafang.”

“Afan.”Icorrected.

“Exactly.”

Andrightbackathim.

ChapterThirteen

BadCall

I MADE THE CALL to Devlin first thing in the morning, explaining the switch I wanted. I held the

phoneatarm’slengthwhilehescreamedacrossit.

“Whatdafuckyoumean,youwantsomeoneelsetomassageyou?”

I listened to him rant and rave for a few more minutes about expenditures and outlay and

personnelandbackgroundchecks.IwaitedforhimtotakeabreathbetweenFuckin’A and fuck this

and...

“Youaboutdone,Dev?”

“Nah.Notuntilyoutellmewhatthisisallabout.”

Ispoketohiminacoaxingtone,thekindonewoulduseonarabiddogabouttoripoffyourfoot

anduseitasabrandnewchewtoy.“Don’tmakemesayit.”

“Saywhat?”

Asswipe.“Youknowwhat.”

Iheardhim,literallyheardhim flossing his teeth then chewing on the string and swallowing it.

Rabiddidn’tcoverthehalfofit.Demented,maybe.

“Fuck.Likeyoudon’tknow.Ican’thaveMichaeltouchingmeanymorelikethat.”

“Sothedoubledatewentwell?”Devasked,andIpicturedhimslaveringovermybones,gloating

atthedemiseofmynon-lovelife.

“Great.Fine.Yeah.JusttellMichaelhedoesn’tneedtogethishandsdirtywithmeorwhatever.”

Thephonedroppedontothesinkcounterwithaclatter,Dev’svoicefinallymuted.

I shaved and showered. I dreamed about over-easy eggs and crispy bacon, sugary-sweet black

coffee while I shoveled down protein, protein, fruit, and shake. The only thing that made me smile

wasTyriontheImp’ssuperbone-linersinmydog-earedcopyofAClashofKings.BeforeIleftthe

suite to meet the reaper—otherwise known as Michael—I made sure I’d set the DVR for the next

episodeofGoTthatweek.

Ihadoneofthegymjockswrapandtapemyhands.Michaelwaslate.Hewasneverlatesothat

meanthewas...yeah...probablystillinbedwithWade.Itookitoutonthepunchingbag.

Iputmyentirebodyintoeachblowuntilthebagswunglikeahundred-poundmetronome,andthe

rafterithungfromcreaked.Nothingfeltbetterthantheburnofmymusclesandtheabilitytoforget

everyblessedthingwhenIwasinthezone.

Unfortunately,Michaelappeared,rightinmyzone.Ihaltedjustbeforesplattinghimtothefloor

andcaughttheswingingbaginmyarmsbeforehecaughtitinhisface.

Blowingacrossthesweatyhaironmyforehead,Iwatchedhimstepaway.Hedidn’tlooklikeYay!

Hadsexallmorning!Infact,heglaredatme.

“What?”Iasked.

“Youknowwhat.”

Againwiththis?

“Youwanttoreassignme?”

Ooooh...that.“Notbecauseyou’renotgoodenough.”

“Damnright.”

BecauseIcan’thaveyourhandsonmeknowingI’llneverhaveyou,howaboutthat?DoesMikey

likethat?Backtrack,backtrack.“Idon’twanttobethisbigthingbetweenyouandWade.”

“You’renot.”Blondcurls,coolgrayeyes,hishurtstarecamebackatme.

“No,no,Iknowthat,man.”OfcourseIdid.WhatwasIbutabiglug;abruiser,nocontenderat

all,notforhisheartatleast.“Look,I’msorryifImadethingsawkwardlastnight,that’sall.”

“Youdidn’t.Wadedid.”Hepattedmycheekinanoh-sofamiliargesture.

Iwantedtopurrintoitlikeabigcontentedcat.

Withdrawinghishand,hesaid.“It’snoteasyforhimwithmetravelingallthetime.”

“Sorryaboutthat,too.”

“Don’tbe.It’snotyourproblem.Besides,Idon’twanttobringmypersonallifetowork.”

Ididn’twanttohearaboutitmucheither.“Sowe’regood?”

“Sure. But I’m still massaging you. I don’t trust anyone else with the aftercare, so you’re just

goingtohavetodealwithit.”

Ifrowned,rubbingmyfingersovermyjaw.“Yeah.Okay.”

“Comeon.Let’sgo.”Hewalkeddownthecorridor,pullinghisshirtoffashewent.

Muscles rippled all the way down to his ass and beyond. I hung back, mostly to enjoy the view.

“Wherearewegoing?Ithoughtyousaidyouweregonnabeatmyasstoday.”

“Suredid.”Michaelswungaround.“Yogafirst.”

“That’showyou’regonnawhupmyass?Pathetic.”Ihustledafterhim.

An hour later, I shouldn’t have questioned Michael. He was limber, bendy, stretchy, and hot. So

goddamnhot.Hisfaceflushedpinkalongthecrestofhischeekbones.Hischest—thosedeepcarved

muscles on muscles—pumped in and out with his relaxed inhales and exhales. His legs, long and

thicklymuscled,coveredinthatfineblondfuzz,werealmostalwaysinmydirectlineofsight.

Getting down with Buddha while sporting a boner made keeping a pretzel-pose damn near

impossible,butIwouldn’thavetradeditforanything.God,Iloveyoga.

Next we were in the ring, one that was well used, spotted with rusty bloodstains soaked into the

mat.WiththisbeingMikey’soldstompinggrounds,hiscrewcameoutinfullforce,egginghimonas

wepoundedeachotherfromcornertocorner:

“Gethim,Mikey!”

“TheIrishBlightain’tgotnothin’onMikey’sMight!”

Wegrinnedateachother.

ThenMichaelletflywithhisfists...andhismouth,“That’sforthesorbet.”

BAM.Hegotmeinthegut.

“Thisisforthesteak.”

Boom!Rightintheribs.

Istaggeredback,laughing.“Hey,thatsteakwasawesome.Wortheveryblow.”

Wedancedaroundeachother.Shufflingside-to-side,ducking,punching,landingsnap-faststrikes.

Hegrinnedfromear-to-ear.Gorgeous.

Afterpivotingawayfromhishigh-speedfist,Iswoopedupbehindhim.

With his neck clutched between my bicep and forearm, I taunted, “You forgot about the sundae

earlierintheweek,MightyMike.”

When I spun him free, he came charging right back at me with his head down and aimed at my

midsection.Itreatedhimlikeabullontheloose,swivelingoutofhiswaythensnappingmyfisttothe

sideofhisjaw.

Crunch!

Seanturnedup,aspentcigarlollingbetweenhislips.Hehungovertheropesinthecorner.“Take

thatsoccerpussytothemat,Bruiser!”

Jeersandboosandcheersroseupinonesolidvoice.

Lockedinastandoff,ourfacescloseandourmouthscloser,Ismiled.“Wantmetotakeyoudown,

Mikey?”

“Notinthering,champ.”

Webrokefreeofeachother,pantingandsweating.BeforeIhadachancetoconsiderhiswords,

hesailedatme.Iundercuthisfeet,cameupbehindhim,andtorquedhisarmsbehindhisneckina

one-armednon-regulationmove.Slappinghimface-firsttothestainedmat,Ipinnedhimdown.

Hescrapedhisheadtotheside.“That’swrestling.”

“WWE,babe.”Oh,fuckme!Babe?Howdidthatslipout?

“Babe?”heasked.

“I meant newbie.” Moving my weight down his back, I kept his neck in a tight grip. “Don’t you

everforgetI’madirtyfighter.”

Islappedhisasslikehehadmine.

Releasingmychokehold—stillrelishingthefeelofhimbeneathme—Ileapedtomyfeet.

Seanwhistledthroughhislastremainingfrontteeth.Hegrabbedmyarmandmarchedmearound

theringasifthiswasthebiggestfightofmylife.Butthebiggestbattlewasyettocome.Itmightnot

evenbeinthering.

Michael shook the hair from his eyes and clapped my hand, drawing me to his chest. “That’s

exactlyhowyoushouldplayitwithReggie.”

“Goingdirty?”

“It’sinyourarsenal,useit.”

Inthequietlockerroom,westraddledabench,ourhandsbetweenus.Michaelliftedmine,slowly

unwinding the tape and wraps. The soft gauze pulled from my wrist, my palm, from between my

fingers.Flamesoffireheatedupmyspinewitheveryoneofhisslowmotionsuncoveringmyskin.

Hardbreathstuggedoutofme.Itfeltlikehistonguedippedintothecrevicesofskinbetweeneach

ofmyfingers.Iwantedtogruntandgroan.Ishiftedcloseruntilourkneestouched.Hisscarred,mine

bruised.Onelonglengthofgauzefelltothefloorlikeacoiledapplepeel,thenthenext.

Michaeldidn’tknowIwasgay,hecouldn’t,buthetouchedmesorightmyneedyholepuckered.

“Yourturn,”Isaid.

Iusedmyteethtobitethroughthetape,gettingsoclosetohisskinIsmelledhissweatandmusk

andheat.

Afterhisfingerswerebared,heleanedforward.

Hestrokedupmyinnerthighs,almostundermyshorts.“Thankyou.”

I inhaled and closed my eyes, soaking in the feel of Michael touching me, so close. He moved

away, leaving me with a cold wash of air in his wake. Around the corner, a shower turned on, and

whenIlookedagain,Michaelwasgone.Hisdiscardedclothessatonthebenchinfrontofme.

Ihatedthisfeeling,thisvulnerabilityandinsecurityinside.Everyoneexpectedmetoclimbhigher,

dobetter,bebigger—neverweak.IwantedtobelessthanwhatIwasforjustoneminute.MorethanI

was,insomeoneelse’seyes.

I padded naked to the showers. There before me was Michael, back-to, soaping up. Foam ran

downhistraps,delts,glutes,quads.

Michaelspunaround.Suds,chest,cock,balls.“Youcheckingmeout?”

“I’llgo.”Iturnedtoleave,buthegrabbedmyarm.

“Don’t.” He slinked forward, and every effort I’d put into shutting this unwanted thing down

meltedawayashishandcurledaroundmybicep.

Mybodywasonfireforhim.“Michael—”

“Don’t,”herepeated,runningahanddownmybarechest.

My heart skipped, and my cock surged. Sensation weakened me, the sheer sexiness of his wet

touchswirledinsidemytummy,grippedmygroinlikeafist.

Isteppedinside,underthehotrainofmultipleshowerheads.Myerectionleapedtomybelly,big,

hard,unmistakable.DiamonddropletsofwaterslidoffMichael’shair,drippedintohiseyes,andran

downhischest.Downbelow,thetorrentgatheredinhiscurlygoldenpubesthatcircledthebaseofa

shaftthatreachedupward.Pink,wrappedinpulsingveins,theentirepictureofhiscockwassomuch

sexierthananymanI’deverfuckedoranypornI’deverwatched.

“Youaregorgeous,youknowthat,right?”Michaelstoodsoclosehisheatclungtomyskin.

“I...”

Tiltingmychin,hebrushedhisknucklesagainsttheblackstubbleonmyjaw.“Liam,areyoujust

curious—or gay? Because this”—his fingertips drifted down my abs which jumped on contact—“is

reallydangerous.”

Myskinburnedfromhistouch.Heatscorcheddowntomycock.“No.”

“Nowhat?”Hereachedlow.

Histhumbrubbedjustbeneaththeflaredheadofmydick.

Ishookmyhead,thennodded,tryingtogetclosertohisreddenedlips.Tofeelthemonmine.

“No,you’renotgay?No,you’renotcurious?”Histonguedartedtomyearlobe.

Myhandsclampedontohisbiceps.

“No?You’reindenial?”Histhickwhispertrailedalongmyneck.

I wrapped one hand around his hip, slick and wet, and the other into his hair. “Kiss me if you

wannafindout.”

Michaelgasped.Hislipspartedandfoundmine.Notlikeagirl.Nothingnearawoman.Stubble,

roughmouth,harshgroans,allman.Butforalltheforceourbodiescontainedandallthemonthsof

desirecoursingthroughme,ourfirstkisswassultry,liquid,languid.

“Ahhh.”Ileanedawaytolookathim.

Lickingmylipstosavorhistaste,Igroanedinfrustrationastheshowerwasheditaway.

Anotherslowunhurriedtouchofslicklips.Whenhistonguetouchedmine,itburnedawaythelast

of my restraint. Our necks craned. Our mouths slammed together. Tongues reached inside and

discovered. My hands went to his waist, around his ass, pulling him to me. Our hard bodies made

impact,nolongerfighting,almostfucking.

Michael’sthighsparted,andIliftedhimup,thenhiscockwasrightthere.Rightagainstmine.My

fingersdugintohisglutes,trailinglower.Heburiedhistongueinmymouth,groaning.Wegrinded

together,theboilingneedtocomedrivingmeharderagainstMichael.

Reachinghishandsback,hefumbledbehindhim.

Lube,condom,yes,whatever.

Thenthewaterwentfrigid.

Thatglacialrainslappedmeintheface.

Coldnessclimbedintomyheart.

Michaelreeledawayfromme,slippingonthewettile.“Shit!Fuck!Thisisamistake.”

Hisrejectionstungworsethananyblowinthering.

Ifellbackagainstthewall.

ThesqueakofhiswetfeetwasthelastsoundIheardashescrambledout.

Twenty minutes later I hit the hotel running. I skipped the elevator and took the stairs three at a

timecarriedbysheershamefuladrenaline.Islammedintomysuiteandthrewhandfulsofclothesinto

aduffelbag.

Imadeittothetoiletjustintimetopuke.AllIkeptseeingwasMichael’shorrifiedface.

I brushed my teeth, gargled, too, and threw my shaving kit together. One call to the car rental

company, one text to Devlin, and a scary glare to my bodyguard detail who turned up outside my

doorasIwasleaving,andIwasoutofthere.GoodbyetoChicagoandmyguiltydesires.

GoodbyetoMichael.

AbigblackSUVwaitedcurbsideforme.Itossedmyshitinsideandclimbedin.

Man,it’dbeensolongsinceI’dbeenbehindthewheelofacar,andneveronelikethis.Atopof

therangeInfiniti.IalmostforgotIdidn’thavetohotwirethisride.

Theopenroadwingedpast.Irolledthewindowsdown,lettingwarmspringairglideinside.

Thefreedomofbeingonmyowndidn’tdoagoddamnthingtoerasemyhumiliation,easemy

disgrace.Myhurtandstupidity.

Check.Alloftheabove.

Becauselet’sfaceit.Iwasalwaysonmyown.

ChapterFourteen

CinCity

IDROVEAIMLESSLYFORafewhoursbeforeIgaveintothatwanderingneedtogohome.Notmy

apartmentinTribeca,butthehomeI’dgrownupin,EastPriceHill,Cincinnati.

Arrivingafterthefive-hourdrivefromChicago,Ipulleduptothehouseandshutofftheengine.

Ourstreetresembledthosearoundit—alotofplainJanehousesandchain-linkfences.Thosewere

the “nice” ones, the yards with a patch of grass out front instead of a slab of concrete. It certainly

wasn’tthesuburbiaofwhitepicketfencesandoverflowingwindowboxes.

OurhousewasworsethanI’dremembered,andIhadn’trememberedallthatmuchgoodaboutthe

placetobeginwith.Peelingpaint,neighborssocloseyoucouldhockaloogieatthemfromtheside

windows,andnothingbutabaldpatchofdirtinthefront.

Anddidn’tthiscrumblingsightcutrightthroughallmywhinybullshit,becauseeventhoughI’d

left,myma,mybrother,andsistershadn’t,couldn’t.

I’ddisconnectedmyphoneafterDev’sfirstwhadafucktext,andforthemoment,Michaelwasthe

farthest thing from my mind. I locked that bitch of an iPhone inside the glove compartment and

stretchedoutsideoftheSUV.

Atexactlysixthirtyinthemorning,Maflewoutofthehouse.Withherheaddown,herhairtied

backinakerchief,shedidn’tseemeuntilshewasalmostontopofme.

Hereyesshotup.Shegaspedbehindherhandbeforethrowingherselfintomyopenarms.

“Liam!”

“Hey,Ma.”

Shewackedmeontheheadwithherpurse.“Don’tyouhey,Mame,youngman.Aftertwoyears,

youjustshowuponthefrontstoop?”

“Imissedyou,too.”

Dropping her purse—a ten-ton heavy weapon—she returned to my embrace. Her tears fell,

dampeningmyshirt.

“IwatchyouwheneverIcan.It’soneofthereasonsItookthatextranightshiftatRoversbar.”She

liftedweteyesasblueasmine.“I’mjustsoproudofyou,son.”

“Ma,whathappenedtothemoney?”

“I...he...yourda,he...”

“He’sbettingit,isn’the?Anddrinkingit.”

“Hecan’thelphimself,Liam.”

Unabletobearthepaininherexpression,Icuppedthebackofherheadandpressedheragainst

mychest.“Iknow.”

ItwasthesameexcuseI’dgrownupwith.

Dawn peeked from beneath heavy gray clouds. Those first rays of sun touched the long black

curlstrailingdownmymother ’sback.Withherpaleskinandicyeyes,weweresomuchthesame.

“Howlongareyouhere?”

“Theweekend.”

Steppingoutofmyembrace,shepressedherfingertipstohermouth.Thosehardworkinghands

wereredandchafedfromthebakery.

“Youlookgreat,Ma.”Ispunherinacircle.

Herstarcheduniformandapronbarelyshifted.

“Icanstilldanceajig.”Herfacelitbeforeshefrowned.“Who’sfeedingyou?You’reskinnyasa

scarecrow.”

I snorted. Only a two hundred-plus fighting machine could be called skinny by his mom. “I’ll

driveyoutowork.”

“No.Youstay.Catchupwithyourbrotherandsisters.”

Shestarteddowntheroad.

“Ma?”

“What,son?”

I carried so much guilt inside me, and shame for what I should’ve been. A nice smart boy who

stayedinoneplace,gotmarried,gavehismothergrandkidsandgotheroutofthisshittylife.

“I’msorryI’mnotwhatyouwanted.”

Shepacedbackquicklyandclaspedmyfaceinherhands.“Youareperfect,Liam.”Hersmile,for

once unfettered, was prettier than the sunrise. “I know who you are and how you are, and our God

mayjudge,butIdonot.Yoursisanhonestheart.Ihopetherightpersonlovesyouforitsomeday.”

Shepattedmycheeks.

Itriedtoswallow,gulpinginstead.Isniffedandnodded.Therightperson,nottherightgirl.

Sheknew.Maunderstood.

“Hey.WoulditbeokayifItookthekidsawayfortheweekend?Sincethey’reonbreak?”

“Just as long as you don’t bring them back anything less than exhausted.” Ma backed away.

“Sundaydinner.Iexpecteveryonetobehere.”

Ikickedmybootsagainsttheconcretestepstoknockoffanymud.Wemayhavebeenbrokeas

shit,butmymadidnotallowonespeckofdirttodarkenherdoorway.IusedthekeyIkepttuckedfar

insidemywallettoletmyselfin.

Inthefrontroom,ontheLa-Z-Boyreclinerhe’dwonoffourneighborJackMcKinnonbackin

1995,Dasnoredwithhismouthgaping.AnopenbottleofJameson’s,almostdrained,satbesidehim

onthefolded-downgatelegtable.TheoldTVdronedonandon.ItwasoneofthoseboxyRCAsets

withtheVCRcombined.Atleasttherewasn’tanoverflowingashtrayathiselbow.Maybehe’dquitor

finallydecidedtosmokehistwopacksadayoutside.

Ittoremyheartseeingthisoldhouse.Everythingwasthesame:theshagcarpet,theturd-brown

sofawithsunkensprings,peelinglinoleumtomatchthepeeling,discoloredwallpaper.Butnomatter

how shabby it was, it smelled of lemon wood polish, and Ma’s china cabinet with her family

heirloomswasintact,lookingsocompletelyoutofplacewithtinyteacupsandhand-paintedplates.

The last time I’d been home was the day I said goodbye. Da had thrown books at me, shoes,

glasses,anythinghecouldreach.Heevenfollowedmeoutsidesohecouldshoutabouthisoldestson

desertinghisfamily.

Maybe the whole time I’d been growing up he’d been pissed because he had me pegged. If Ma

knew,itwasn’tmuchofastretchthathedid,too.Hewasuncannylikethat.Smartasatack,buttoo

intentonhisdrinktomakeanythingofhimself.

Allalong,alltheseyears,IthoughtI’dbeenhidingmyself.

MaybetheyallknewIwasgay.

Maybeitshouldn’tbesuchabigfuckingdeal.

Even asleep—passed out, rather—Da was a handsome devil. Liam Senior was dashing and

charismaticwhenhewantedtobe.Itwaspartofhisaddictivepersonality.Youwanted his attention,

whentimesweregreatandheshoweredpraise.Theflipsidewasyouneverexpectedwhenhe’dturn

darkorknewwhatwouldtriphimovertheedge.Itmadehimevenmoredangerous.

Good-lookingpeoplecouldbesouglyinside.

ThekitchenwasunalteredexceptMahadputupnewcurtains.Hand-embroideredyellowdaisies

decoratedthewhitefabric.IsettheMr.Coffeeinmotionandgazedoutback.ThesameImpalasaton

cementblockswithweedsrisinguptothetires.

Fuckthis.

Leavingthecoffeepercolating,Ipulledoffmyshirtandstrodeoutside.Rustyandslowtostart,

thelawnmowerstillworkedwellenoughonceitgotchuggingalong.Theearlymorningneighbors

burstupfromoppositesidesoftheleaningwoodenfencelikejack-in-the-boxesassoonasIcutoff

theengine.Theygawkedatmeasiftheycouldn’tbelievetheireyes.

“Lookatyou,Liam!WethoughtthedevilhimselfhadchasedyourightoutofCincinnati,”Maeve,

forty-somethingandstillflirty,calledout.

Grizzly-looking Niall on the other side pitched over a Ziploc packet of seeds. “Tell your ma

there’smoreofthemzinniasshelikessomuch.”

And across the narrow dirt alley old Mrs. Killian sat on her back porch, wearing the same

housedress from 1945, I swear. She smoked from a fancy cigarette holder as she pushed back and

forth on her wooden rocker. At least a dozen stray cats slinked around her ankles and along the

bannistersoftheporch.Shemerelysquintedatme,likeshealwayshad.

Insidethehouse,Ilistenedforanysoundofmovementfromupstairs—welcomesounds—orthe

front room—where the asshole slept. Everything remained quiet regardless of the noise I’d made

cuttingthegrass.Icleanedupatthesinkandputmyshirtbackon.

Aftergrabbingamugofcoffee,Isettoworkmakingphonecallsfromtheyellowlandlinethat

hungonthekitchenwall.Thefreakin’cordwastwistedworsethanakinked-upSlinkyandalwayshad

been,eversinceIcouldremember.

FuckGoogle.Iturnedtotheoldnetwork,thetrueandtrustedpeopleIremembered.Imadecalls

to roofers, landscapers, glaziers, painters. Maybe Ma wasn’t gonna take my money and move—

maybeshecouldn’t—butIwasdonelettingmyfamilyliveinsqualor.

Half an hour later, Conor careened into the kitchen only to turn sheet-white when he saw me. I

hungupthephone,inspectingmylittlebrotherwhilehestaredatmelikeIwasaghost.

At fifteen-years-old, he was somewhat in the middle of the Shaughnessy brood, and worse off

thanI’dbeenathisage.Bookish,nerdy,gangly...Ibetthegirlsthoughthewascute.Maybeeventhe

boys,too.Thetimeswerechanging.

“Coffee?”IgesturedtotheMr.Coffeethatwastheonethingthatstillworked.

“Liam?”

Behindhisglasses—thankfuckheknewenoughtowearthem—hisbigeyesturnedshiny.Thenhe

launchedhimselfatme.

Iwrappedhimupinahug.God,he’sskinny.

Itappedmyknucklesagainstthebackofhishead.“Iwasn’tdead,yaknow?”

“No. Yeah. I know that.” He disentangled from me. “Because like vampires can rise again,

sometimesdemons,angels...thatstuff.”

Hestoppedtalkingwithablushandsatdownatthetable.

“Whatthehellaretheyteachingyouinschool?”Ilaughed.

Before Conor could answer, warm arms and long legs with a tentacle-like hold twisted around

me.Saoirse.Thedoorbellrang,andImademywaytothedoorwithmylittlesisterthelimpetstuckto

myleg.ThereddesthaireverseencurledaroundSaoirse’sface,andthatwasaboutallIcouldmake

outofher.

Ipulledlightlyonhercurls.“Sash.”

“Liam?”Greenguilelesseyesbeamedupatme.

“There are St. Lawrence donuts behind this door.” I’d had the roofer pick them up on the way

over.

ShefelloffmelikeIhadacontagiousrashandploppedtothefloor.IforgotsometimesSashwas

onlyten.Andshe’drolloverforpastriesjustlikeme.UnlikeotherCatholicfamilieswithkidsborn

bam-bam-bam,thefourofuswerewidelyspaced.

DahaddoneadisappearingactforayearafterbothMary-KateandIwereborn,leavingMatothe

child-rearingandmoney-earning.Thenthere’dbeenthelosses.IoftenwonderedifDawasthecause

of those miscarriages. When he was around, he’d always wanted his hands on Ma one way or the

other.UntilIgotoldenoughtotakethebeatings.AtleastI’ddonesomethingformymother.

I carried the box of donuts down the hall. Sash leaped up and tried to snatch the carton as she

scurried beside me. In the kitchen, Mary-Kate stood from her seat at the table. In two years she’d

becomegraceful,beautiful,aknock-out.Shehadtheblacktressesandthegreeneyes.Thebestofboth

ourfolks,buthergaze,itwashaunted.

Atjust-turnedeighteen,she’dbeenthroughmorethansheshouldhave.

“Hey,sis.”

Insteadofgreetingme,shetookthedonutsandplacedthemonthetable.Ourbrotherandsister

grabbedatthem.ComingupbehindM-K,Ipulledherintomyarms.Sheduckedherheadawayfrom

thekids,discreetlywipinghereyes.

“I’msorry.Ishouldcomebackmore,”Iwhisperedtoher.

“Whatfor?Theseluxurioussurrounds?”Hervoicewasbrittleandwary,butsheslumpedinmy

arms.

“Foryouguys.”

“It’s okay. I’d leave, too,” Sash said, busily devouring the jam filling from two donuts she’d

brokeninhalf.

Fuckinghell.

WhileMary-Katereachedforanapkintoblowhernose,Isatdownandgavealowwolfwhistle

thatmadeherandthekidssmilealittle.

“Christ,sis,Ihopeyou’rekeepingtheboysatbay.”

“AndwhendoIhavetimetoletboyschaseafterme?”shesaidwithanadultairshewaswaytoo

youngtopossess.

“WhataboutthatGavinkid?”

Sheshotmeaquellingglare.

ThecommotionfinallywokeDa,andheappearedinthedoorway.Everyoneimmediatelyshutup

anddroppedtheirheads.Theyatemuchmoreslowly,asifthedeliciousdonutsturnedintowallpaper

pasteintheirmouths.

Istoodtofacehim.

“Sotheloserreturnshome.”

ChapterFifteen

UnhappyFamilies

“I’VEWONALLMYfights.”Myjawsethard.

Dadilutedhiscoffeewithahealthydoseofwhiskey,tookadrink,andslammedthemugdown.

Mary-Katetookthatasthesignaltowhiskthekidsupstairs.

Icalledoutafterher,“Packsomebags.We’respendingtheweekendinstyle.”

WhenIturnedbacktoDa,hesnickered.“Instyle.Ibetyouhomosknowallaboutthatfancyshit.”

“So that’s been your problem this whole time?” I leaned against the counter, crossing my arms

overmychest.“YouthinkyouknowallaboutmeandmylifeandwhatIdoinmysparetime?”Iwas

not gonna be scared off by him again. “I’ll tell you what I do in my spare time. I work. I do it to

survive.AndwhenI’mnotfighting,I’mtrainingtowinthenextone.”

“Taking a punch in the face is one thing. Taking cock up the ass is another.” His mean mouth

slashedacrosshisface.“You’renotaman.You’reapussyforothermen.”

“Whatthefuckwouldyouknowaboutbeingaman?”Iloweredmyvoice,steepedinanger.“You

don’t support this family. Ma does. I do. Mary-Kate raises them. You’re nothing but a middle-aged

wannabe with no dreams and no hopes of ever amounting to anything, not even the simplest things

likebeingagoodhusbandandadecentfather.”

Heblanched.

Good.

“Takeyourapprovalandshoveitupyourasssideways’causeIdon’tneedit.”Ileanedoverhim,

myfather,unafraidforthefirsttime.“Noneofusdo.NotsinceI’mmakingmoney,andIwillfinda

waytomakesureyoudon’tsuckthebankaccountdry,youworthlesspieceofshit.”

Istalkeddownthehallway.

“Leavingsosoon?”

“Yep.ButIhopeyou’repreparedforothervisitors.Thishouseisgonnabemaderight-sideup.

Don’tbotherthemenatwork.That’ssomethingyouwouldn’tknowanythingabout.”Iheldthefront

dooropenandshoutedupthestairs.“Yo!Getamoveon.”

Mary-Kate,Conor,andSashhustledoutinfrontofmewithbackpackstossedovertheirshoulders.

NotasingleoneofussaidbyetoDa.

Heslungmoremudatusashestoodonthestoop,eyeingmyin-styleride.“Yeah.Takethedamn

littlebastards!They’reprobablynotevenmine,anyway.”

The noise level in the SUV almost surpassed the ringside ruckus at a fight as if Da’s presence

leechedalllifeandhisabsencemeantpartytime.

“Wherearewegoing?”

“Awesomeride!”

“I’mreallyhungry.”Sashrubbedhertummy.

“We’regoingtostayinamotherfucking—don’ttellMaIsaidthat—flashyhotel,andyoucaneat

anydamnthingyouwant,anytimeofdayornight.”Igrippedthesteeringwheel.

Theywhoopedandholleredandpoundedonthearmrests.ForthefirsttimesinceI’dcrossedthe

citylimits,Irelaxed.

Theyoungerkids’eyesalmostbuggedoutoftheirheadswhentheysawthemassivesuiteatthe

MarriottinCovington.TheypressedtheirfacesagainstthewindowsoverlookingtheOhioRiver,but

Mary-Kate acted like she’d been treated to such luxuries all her life—as she should be. Their

reactions to things I’d taken for granted triggered an ache inside me. I had no rights over them. I

couldn’tgetthemoutoftheirshithomelife.

We ordered room service, divvied up bedrooms, and the concierge took care of the details. He

calledmeMr.ShaughnessytheentiretimewhileSashgiggledlikeIwasanoldmanallofasudden.

Aftertheydevouredeverythingbutthesilverplattersourmealsarrivedon,wewenttotheindoor

pool following a quick detour to buy new bathing suits. We spent the afternoon lounging, horsing

aroundinthewater,beingafamily.

Someonerecognizedme,andthatsomeonetoldsomebodyelse.Thefanswererespectfulenough

nottocauseamobscene,buttheyapproachedmepoolsideforahandfulofautographs.

Onewomaninparticularsatrightnexttomeonmychair.Herhandfelltomykneewithatight

squeezewhileIsignedherbeachtowelusingtheSharpiesheproducedfromnowhere.Iflinchedat

thecontactandsentherawaywithaveryfirm“nothanks”inreplytoherwhisperedinvitationtomeet

heratherroomlater.

Mary-Kateremovedhersunglassesandbattedhereyelashesatme.“Ooh,Liam,canIhaveyour

autographplease?”

“Cutitout.”Iscowledather.

ThenIjumpedoffmychair,grabbedherinmyarms,andtossedherintothewaterwitharoarof

laughter.

IwasstillchucklingbesideConorwhenshesnuckoutofthepoolandslippedbehindme,usingall

her negligible weight to push me in. And I let her. It was her turn to laugh when I spluttered to the

surface.

Thenextmorning,ItookthemshoppingattheApplestore.iPadsallaround.Ishowedthemhow

to message me and FaceTime while they rolled their eyes because, of course, they knew what they

were doing way more than I did. I’d already set up Wi-Fi at the house, the bill to be direct-debited

frommyaccount.

“YouhavetokeepthemhiddenfromDabecause—”

“He’llhock’em,”Sashsaid,breakingmyfuckingheartagain.

WespenttherestofthedayatNewportontheLevee.Movies,theaquarium,moreshopping.We

ate every contraband food item Michael ever forbade from my diet. We dropped coin in arcades,

listenedtostreetmusic,andstuffedourbellies.

Returningtothesuitewellaftersundown,Iwatchedlastweek’sepisodeofGameofThroneswith

Conor.Wesharedouraffinityforallthingsdragon-lore.IfollowedthatupwithaDiners,Drive-Ins,

andDivesmarathonwithSash.Webothsalivatedoverthegreasepitgoodness.

IwatchedMary-Katewithaneagleeyetomakesureshereallywasokay,althoughIfiguredshe

probablywasn’t,nomatterhowgoodshewasathidingherfeelings.

Finally,lateonthelastnightwhentheothertwohadcrashedout,M-Ksatonthesofaandleaned

againstme.IexhaledabreathI’dbeenholdinginsideforyears.

“Hey,sis.Youstillgotthatboyfriend?SomeonenewIneedtobeatupforyou?”

Sheshookwithquietlaughterandthensaidinanevenquietervoice,“Whataboutyou?Boyfriend

yet?”

Goingcompletelystill,Istaredather.

“It’snotlikewedon’tknow.Da’sadickhead,butwedon’tcare.”

Ididn’tsayaword,wishingthegroundwouldopenupandswallowmewhole.

“It’sthatMichael.Thetrainer,isn’tit?He’sfuckinghot.”

“Hehasapartner.I’mnotgay.Let’sforgetaboutthisalready.”Ishiftedawayfromher.

Sothecomingoutthingwaseasiersaidthandone.Itdidn’tmatterthatMaseemedtoknow,andI

didn’tgivetwoshitsifDaddid,butwhatiftherestofthemlookedatmedifferently?

M-Ksidledrightbackovertome.“OhmyGod,itishim,isn’tit?”

Ishookmyheaduntilmyeyesblurred.

“Youhaveitsobaaad.”M-Kflickedmyforehead.

Iretaliatedwithtickles,becausemakinghergigglewasonewayofshuttingherup.Butwhenshe

wasfinallydrained,shecontinuedtolookatmewithapleasedsmile.

“Idon’tknowwhatyouthinkyouknow,sis,butIcannotcomeout.”

“Of course you can.” She pulled a file from her purse and went to work on her nails as if our

conversationwasn’toneofthebiggestI’deverhad.“Youjustdidtome.”

Laterthatnight,IconsideredretrievingmyiPhonefromtheglovecompartmenttoseeifMichael

hadcalledortextedme,butIcouldn’tstandthedisappointmentifhehadn’t.AndIdidn’twanttodeal

withthefalloutfromourkiss—whichhethoughtwastheworstmistakeofhislife—ifhehad.

The next evening was like a funeral procession when we headed back to the house. At least I’d

managedtodooneothergoodthingwhileIwasintown.Fridayafternoon,Mary-KateandIhadgone

toabankwhereI’dhadpapersdrawnupandreadyforus.

M-K’shandhadtrembledwhensheheldthepenandpeeredatthelegaldocumentsthrustinfront

ofher.

“Signontheline,sis,”Iurgedher.

“Why?”She’dkeptstudyingthewords,whichdetailedtheamountinwhatwouldbeourjointbank

account,strictlyintendedforher,Conor,andSash’suse.

“Whydoyouthink?Daguzzlesitallaway,andMaletshim.You’reofagenow,andIneedyouto

helpmedothis.”I’dgraspedherhands.“Thecollegefundsaresetupforyouguysalready,andsois

mywill.Ineedtomakesureyouhavewhatyouneed,andthisistheonlywaytodoitrightnow.”

Mary-Kate had signed the papers that set the bank account in motion for whatever they needed,

whenevertheyneededit.

Afterward,shehuggedmeandwhispered,“Thankyou,Liam.Thankyou.”

“I’msorryittookmesolong.”

She’ddrawnback,grinning.“Yeah,metoo.Imean,whadafuck?”

Familydinnerwasdisastrous,evenwiththeflowersIbroughtMaandthehouselookingamillion

times better than it had a couple days ago. The meal was gloomy in spite of the fact she was all

dressedupandshe’dsetthetablewiththegoodchinafromthecabinet.

Ma made all my favorites, which she served while Da muttered his usual cutting remarks about

howshespoiledme,howIwasgoodfornothing...

Ididn’twanttoruinallherworkorseeherfacestrainedtokeepthetideoftearsatbay,soIsat

andateandsaidnothing,becomingtighterandtighterinsidemyself.Aftertwohourstoolong,Isaid

mygoodbyes,knowingI’dneverstopworryingaboutmymotherandthekids.

IwasgladwhenDafollowedmeouttothefrontstoop.Heannouncedhispresencewiththedoor

bangingloudlybehindhim.

Swivelingaround,Igotinhisface.“Youlistentome,youbastard.Youcantakeitoutonmeall

youwant.Justremember,Iknowhowtodefendmyselfnow.”

Fearscuttlingacrosshiseyes,hereeledback.

“Youtouchanyoftheothers,everfuckingagain,Iwillownyourlastdyingbreath,Da.”Ibared

myteeth.“AndI’llenjoyit.”

IhadonemoredemonIneededtoexorcisebeforeIreturnedtomylife.Thedevilcalledlust.The

onethatwentbythenameofMichaelFairweather.Asincognitoaspossible,Idrovetoahole-in-the-

wallhook-upbarthreecountiesoverandoffthebeatentrack.

TheonlythinggettingbeateninsidetheBlowholewasawholelottacock.

The place was dark, small, nondescript. Men gathered in corners. They grinded together on the

dancefloor.Theyfuckedinthebackhallway.Theairswelteredwithhotmalemuskasthenoiseof

murmursandmoanstookovermysenses.

Iorderedabeerandsluggeditback.MyoldbatteredRedscappulledlow,Iscannedthroughfaces

insearchofsomeonecapableofgettingmeoff.

It didn’t take me long to pinpoint the man I wanted. He looked nothing like Michael. He had

longish hair that was dark brown, sharp features, a nice lean body that could probably withstand a

rough,wildride.

Idancedwithhimjustlongenoughtomakemyinterestknown.Hiseyessparkedwithdesire,and

henoddedatmysuggestion.Intherestroom,filledwiththenoisesoflowgroansandloudgrunts,we

foundanemptystallandclosedourselvesin.

Romance,heh.

Yeah,Iwasallaboutthat.

Hewastednotimeopeningmyjeans,findingmystiffcock.Withapracticedhand,hecoveredmy

shaftinacondom.IwasprobablythecleanestmotherfuckerontheplanetthankstoallthetestsIhad

tohave,buthedidn’tknowthat.Hewassmarttosuitmeup.Iwasn’tgoingtoletitinterferewithmy

pleasure.

Iwasn’tgoingtoletthoughtsaboutMichaelintrudeeither.

Theguy’slipsimmediatelywrappedaroundme,andhehadtalent,nodoubtaboutthat.Ifucked

hismouth,shudderingthroughmyentirebody.HelikeditwhenIgrabbedhishair.Hemoaned,and

hisgazetrackedupmybodytolockonmine.

Hewasn’tgonnastopuntilIoverflowedtherubberwithcome.

Butwhenthedudereachedformyhandsandclaspedthemwithinhis,Ipulledoutwithagasp.

Icouldn’tdoit.

Thiswasn’twhatIwanted.

Iwanteddatenightsandnightsinbed.IwantedtoholdhandswiththemanIlovedandnooneelse.

I wanted sex, and fucking, and lovemaking for hours. I wanted to get blown without a condom

becauseIknewtheguy’sfirstname,hislastname,hisphonenumber-address-favorite-fucking-food,

and preferred position for fucking. Kisses like the one I’d experienced with Michael. And sharing

worries,andlaughs,andalifethatmaybeIdeservedafterall.

After lingering for just a moment longer in case I changed my mind, the guy left. I rested my

foreheadagainsttheuglygreenstall.

IwantedMichael.Notwowaysaboutit.

ChapterSixteen

GotNoGame

MYCOMMERCIALFLIGHTFROMCincinnatitoNYCwasbasicallytakeoff,reachcruisingaltitude,

andprepfordescent.Hardlyworththesevenhundred-plusbucksitcost.IstuckmynoseinAClashof

Kingsthewholetime,hidingbehindmyglassesandbeneathmyRedscap.Man,I’dreachedthekiller

climaxofthenovelwhenpeoplestartedshufflingoutassoonastheseatbeltsignwentoff.

I caught a cab to my apartment, double-timed the stairs instead of taking the elevator, and let

myself in. Even though I’d just left my family and hadn’t unpacked more than a few boxes yet, this

placestillfeltalotmorelikehometurfthanthehouseinCincinnati.

Kickingthedoorshut,Itossedmyduffelintothebedroom.Iwalkedbackthrough,openingthe

windowstoairouttherooms.

Some stupid sense of superstition almost stopped me from checking the fridge. Michael always

stockedthekitchenwithfoodnomatterwherewewere,butwhatifhe’ddecidedtowritemeoffafter

thehotnakedin-the-showerkisshecalledamistakeandIcouldn’tgetover?

Growingasetofballs,Imannedupenoughtopeekinsidethestainlesssteelappliance.Withan

armslungovertheopendoor,Itookintherowsofdrinks,thebowlsoffruit,thedrawerofveggies.

AllMichaelFairweatherfoodsofchoice—otherwiseknownasadietician’swetdreambutmyideaof

aculinarynightmare.

ThankfuckIhadn’ttotallyblownitwiththeman.

The others had arrived a couple days ago from Chicago—Michael, Sean, a piss-mad Devlin—

whileAnyacontinuedherringsideappearancesontour.

Settlingdowntofinallysortoutmylife,orattheveryleastmakemyapartmentlivable,Iheaded

tothebedroomtounpackmyduffel.IdiscoveredmymiscellaneousshitfromChicagowashedand

foldedontheendofmybed.Howthehellithadgottenthere,Ihadnoideabecause—wussthatIwas

—I’dupandsplitfrommyhotelwiththebareessentials.

I’dabandonedeverythingandeveryoneaswellasmyprideinChicago.

Iwasstilltoomuchofapussytocheckmyphone.

Ispentthenexttwenty-fourhoursbeingageniusatavoidingpeopleandmyPing-Pongthoughts.

ThatmeantImadealotofheadwayinthethisismycastledepartment.Boxesemptied,belongingsput

away,cardboardbrokendown.

I’dforgottenIhadacollectionofoldCDs—totallyobsoleteaccordingtoMary-KateandConor—

afullsetofdecent-enoughdishes,oneboxofhighschoolmementoes,andenoughbookstostartmy

ownlibrary.

BythetimeIfinished,theplacedidn’tlookhalfbad.I’dorderedsomesortoflivingroomsuiteas

soon as I’d signed the lease. The furniture came complete with huge overstuffed armchairs and a

couch big enough for me to sprawl on. Unearthing more ready-made furniture, I found a table,

chairs, and—wow—a couple of nightstands. Lampshades on the blown glass lamps instead of bare

bulbssuremadeadifference,too.

I sat in the middle of the living room floor on a decent geometric patterned rug to cover the

polishedfloorboards.Theapartmentmightevenbegoodenoughtohavethekidscomeandstayafter

I did up the spare bedroom. A little pipe-dream to stash away, when I wasn’t travelling all the time.

WhenIcouldbeabetterrolemodel.

Thewallswerealittlebare,though.

WhichgavemeafantasticexcusetovisitacertainpainterIknew,whichmeantIcouldgetaway

before anyone figured out I was back in the city. Hey, ducking and diving was all part of the job

description.Iwasageniuslikethat.

After catching the subway to Queens, I ventured into the same itty-bitty gallery I’d stumbled

acrossafewweeksago.ItwasstupidofmetoexpecttobumpintoGideon,butthatdidn’tstopme

fromhopingforanotherrun-inwithhim.

Ishould’vebeenrelievedtofindhewasn’tthere,thatIcouldavoidthetruthaboutmyselffora

little while longer. Instead a small gnawing ache formed in the pit of my stomach. I covered the

momentarydisappointmentbywanderingaroundtheshowroom,checkingoutthepotteryexhibitthat

hadreplacedGideon’seroticpaintings.

Iimmediatelycameupwithanewgameplan.Genius.Ipickedoutacoupleheavy,brownandgray

andgreenpieces,andwhileIpaidforthemIpickedthebrainoftheclerk.Shewasalltoohappyto

supplyapatronoftheartswiththeaddressofoneGideonCane.

After giving my details for delivery, I walked the few blocks to Gideon’s place. The street was

lively and noisy, home to resident chic people and ethnic restaurants. My mouth watered with the

smell of hot food full of spices. I heard conversations in every foreign language, most of which I

couldn’tplace,buttherewassomeUkrainianlitteredhereandthereI’dabsorbedfromAnya.

Thewarehousewasoldbrickwithhugemany-panedwindows.Irangabeat-updoorbellbearing

Gideon’snameplate,announcedmyself,andwalkedthroughthebuzzed-opendoor.UpIwentinone

ofthosecargoelevatorsbigenoughtostashdeadbodiesorbutcheredmeator...holyshit...giant

canvases.Becauseassoonasthedoorgroanedopen,Ifacedamassiveun-walledspacethathadtobe

bothGideon’shomeandhisstudio.

Onesideboastedstackuponstackoflife-sizedpaintingsaswellaseaselsarrangedatthewindows

and around a white-skirted platform. Globs of every color of the spectrum daubed the floors. Old-

fashioned china hutches housed tubes, palettes, brushes, and from the smell of it, jars of turpentine.

Thescentofoilhungintheair,too.

“Hello?”Icalledout.

Fromtheothersideofthespacewhereafullyfunctionalkitchenabuttedanareawithavintage-

looking velvet couch, Gideon strolled out. He wiped his hands on his paint-splattered overalls. He

didn’twearashirtandhisbodybeneaththehalf-hookedbibwaswellsculpted,hisshouldersropey

andjustbroadenough.WhatIcouldseeofhischestwasnicelydefinedwithasmatteringofdarkhair.

Iliftedmyeyestofindhisgreenonesdancing.

Ah,shit.Caughtstaring.

Iofferedmyhand.“Idon’tknowifyouremembermebut—”

“Hmm. Let me see if I can place you.” He pumped my hand and squinted at me. “You do look

familiar.”Hesuckedinthatfullbottomlipofhis.“Nah.That’snotit.”Rubbinghisjaw,hetriedagain.

“Nope,notthatoneeither.Ohwait...nope.”

Aflushracedupmycheeks.

“Areyoukiddingme,Liam?OfcourseIrememberyou.”Histeasingsmilebroadened.“So,you

didn’tcall,butyoudroppedby.Evenbetter.WhatcanIdoyoufor?”

Footshuffle.Awkward.JesusChrist,Idon’tevenhavegamewhenIdon’tevenwanttohavegame.

“I just got back into town, and I’ve been fixing up my apartment. It looks pretty bare, and I

remembered your paintings. Thought I could buy one?” Throat clearing, staring at the sitting area

insteadofhissparklygreeneyesandbighandsomegrin.

Hisplacewastotallybohemiandowntothecandlesdrippingwaxoveremptywinebottlestothe

fadedtasseledlampshadesandthepaint-markedconcretefloors.ExactlywhatI’dexpected,andlike

nothingI’deverseenbefore.

“Ilikeyour...warehouse?”Itackedonwhenheremainedsilent.

WhenIcutmygazetohim,heseemedtobechewingonasmile.Igrinnedandduckedmyhead.

“Allright,sexyLiam,soyouwantahomoeroticpainting,doya?”

Shit,whenheputsitlikethat...

InoddedlikeIwasnineinsteadoftwenty-four,andweweretalkingaboutLegosinsteadofsix-

by-three-footnudes.

Beckoningmeacrossthefloor,Gideonledmetohisstudioarea.“Whichone?”

“Doyoupaintoncommission?”Andwherehadthatcomefrom?

Heturnedinprofile,standingbetweenhisartworkandme.“Yes.”

“Doyouuselivemodels?”

“Ohyes.”

“MindifIhavealook?”Iasked.

Sweepinghisarmaside,hemotionedmeforward.

I took my time. I wasn’t a jump-straight-into-bed kind of guy about investments, even when it

came to considering a huge painting of naked men. He never painted faces, just hints of masculine

features—a broad nose, a cleft chin, half-mast eyes. Gideon didn’t pose the couples in any flagrant

act,buthesuggestedthemomentofpenetration,amouthopenedforablowjob,themomentalover

acceptedhismanintohisbody.

“Theyareevocative,”Isaidinahush.

“It’showIseemen.Beautiful,nakedtruth.Soulful.Sexual.”

“Could I buy that one?” The painting I wanted depicted two equally strong bodies, chiseled

throughvisiblebrushwork.

One man was light as the sun, dazzling somehow, the other man looked shadowed, unsure and

hopefulastheirmouthsalmostmetinakiss.

“It’snotcheap.”

“Ifuckinghopenot.”

Gideon laughed beside me. “You’ve got a good eye. I’ve had a lot of offers for that one, but I

didn’tapproveofthepotentialbuyers.”

“Whataboutme?”

“Oh, I definitely approve of you.” He spun toward a massive old desk practically collapsing

beneathpilesandpilesofsketches,books,andpapers.“ThepaintingiscalledMomentous.”

“Itreallyis.”Ieyedthecanvasagain.

“Waseverythingokaywithyourboyfriendthatnightwewereatthecafé?”

Iwheeledaround.“Oh!Who?Michael?I’mnot...we’renot...”Alotofflappyhandmovements

andthesameoldlitanyensued.

“Hey,takeiteasy,Liam.”Gideontiltedasmileatme.“It’sjustIusedtohavewickedgoodgaydar

and I could’ve sworn there was something between you and Michael.” He knocked his knuckles

againsthisforehead.“Maybeit’snotworking.Doesn’tmatter.Wecouldbefriends,youknow?”

IthoughtbackonthefriendsIhad.Mostofthemwereonmypayroll.Ineededalife,seriously.I

noddedjustalittlebithesitantly.

“Sothepaintingisforwhat?”Hislongfingersbrushedminebeforepullingaway.“Sinceyou’re

notout.”

Viewing?Goeswithmydécor?“Itremindsmeof—”

“Amomentousoccasion,”hesupplied.

“Yeah.”

“Andtherearefartoofewofthose.”Gideonshuffledthroughafewhundredpapersonhisdesk

thensweptabillundermynose.

Itriednottoletmyeyesbugoutattheprice.Ifailed.

“Stillwantit?”

“Money’snotaproblem.”

“Soforframes...woodormetal?”Hepulledapencilfrombehindhisear,poisedtoscribble.

“Wood.”

“Darkorlightfinish?”

“Blond.”Ofcourse.

“Greatchoice.Icangetitdonetonight,deliveredtomorrow.How’sthat?”

“Awesome.”Igrinned.

“Creditcard?”

Ihandeditover,andsomehowIdidn’texpecthimtobesoprofessional,whichwasnearsightedon

mypart.HeflourishedhisiPhone,pluggedinalittlewhitecube,andranmycardthroughit.AllIhad

todowassignandbingo,thepaintingwasmine.Andmybankaccountcried.

Gideonwalkedmetotheelevator.“It’sapleasuredoingbusinesswithyou,Liam.”

“Likewise.”Iclaspedhishandbeforesteppinginsidethecage.

“Youknow,youcancallme.Wecantalkaboutwhateveryouwantornothingatall.Ipromisenot

toflirt,toomuch.Asfriends.”

“Iwill.”Youwon’t.“Thanks,Gideon.”

“Shit,IjustmadetenGs.Trustme,thepleasurewasmine.”

Devlinturneduplikeabadpennythenextafternoon.Seanwalkedoutfrombehindthemaroon-

suitedbuffoon,lippinghisunlitcigar.

“HowdidmystufffromChicagogethere?”Istoodinthemiddleoftheroom.

“What?”Devpushedpastme.

“Mygear,myclothes—”

“Hiscrap.”Sean’svoicescrapedout.

“Michael.Hewaslikeawhirlwind.Pissedofftohighhell,hewas,too.Hewasn’ttheonlyone.”

Andthen,asusual,Devlingavemeanearful.AsusualItunedhimout.Itwasallblablabla and

fuckdis,fuckdat.I decided he wasn’t a snake or a shark but a weasely chatterbox type of creature.

Cometothinkofit,wasn’tthereanarcadegamecalledBoptheWeasel?I’dhavetogetone,setitup

righthereinmylivingroom,useaSharpietocolorinhismustache...yaddayadda...

Sean was silent, but his expressions said everything from Dev’s been an insane asshole since

you’vebeengonetoWhatyougonnado,kid,eh?

IonlychanneledbackintoDevwhenhescreechedforasecond.

“Whadafuckisthat?”HisvoiceandhisfingershookatGideon’spaintinghangingwithpridein

thecenterofthewall.

ChapterSeventeen

DefensiveTactics

AFTERWHATI’DBEENthroughwithmyda,Ididn’treallygiveaflyingfuckwhatDevlinthought.

Steppinguptotheoil,Seanleanedhisheadtooneside,thentheother.

“Huh. Reminds me of that Mapplethorpe feller and his photographs.” He scratched the white

whiskersonhischin.“IfIrememberright,Mapplethorpehadanexhibitbannedbackin1990inyour

hometown,boys.Themuseumdirectorwaschargedwithpropagatingflagrantobscenity.Gottaflame

theflamersbeforetheygettoya.Gaypornotheycalledhisphotos.Seemstomeitweren’tnothin’but

anappreciationofmalebodiesinmotion.Kindalikeboxing.Kindalikewhatyougothere.”Hetook

inallofGideon’spainting.

MyeyesgrewtwiceaswideasSeanwaxedon.

Devhissed.“Stuffit,Sean.Youdon’tknowwhatyou’retalkingabout.”

Heknowswhathespeakethaboutalotmorethanyoudo,Dev.Holyshit,Ineededtostopreading

themedievalfantasystuffalready.

“You’renotgonnadictatewhatIcanandcannotputupinmyownapartment.Getout,”Isnarled.

Devlinsputtered.

“Seancanstay,”Iamended.

TheoldMickgrinnedatme.Itwasalwaysgoodtohavesomeoneinyourcorner.

Retreating to the door, Dev left in a fine fume of foul words. I laughed, the simple release of

nervoustension.

Nervous tension that mounted again as I heard Michael’s voice inside my apartment. “Do you

thinkIcouldhaveamomentwithyouinprivate,Liam?”

IspuntowardMichaelstandinginthedoorway.Mystomachbottomedout.

Sean swaggered away, landing a punch on Michael’s shoulder. “Hey, take it easy on the kid.

Sometimeshe’sgotshitforbrains,right?”

Nice.Thanksforthevoteofconfidence,Sean.Hewouldn’tbeinvitedbackeither.

ThedoorclosedbehindSean,andMichaelmovedintothekitchen.Ifollowedslowly.Iexpected

himtohitme—thatwasourway—buthishandsballedathissides,andhisheadlowered.

“Whydidn’tyougetintouchwithme?Returnmycalls?Answermymessages?”Hisvoicealone

sentshiversthroughme.

NottomentionIhadn’tseenhiminoveraweek.

Stillasfuckinggorgeousasever.

Istoodstifflyacrossfromhim.“Ididn’tthinkyouwantedmeto.Youranoutonme,remember?”

“Idon’tevenknowwhatyouare.”Heclenchedhissun-brightcurlsinhishandsashelookedupat

me. “And as for running out? Yeah. What the fuck do you expect? You’re in bed with half a dozen

women,includingAnya,andIhadtoreadthemorningpresstofindoutyouwenthome?”

“YouwerealreadyhomewithWadeyourself.Don’tblamemeforcuttingout.”

Hesnorted.“That’sanotherthingyou’vegotmetiedinknotsabout.Youpissmeoff,Liam.”

“You’renotsobadatthatyourself,Michael.”

“Fuckyou.”Hepoundedafistontheislandbarseparatingmefromhim.“Iwaitedupforhours.I

didn’tsleep.IwonderedifI’dmissteppedwithyouafterwekissed—”

“Wedidmorethankiss.”Irangedcloser.

“Westoppedtoosoonformyliking.”

Mybreathskippedinmychest,andIhalted.

“Ihatethatyoumakemefeellikethis.Clueless,aching,angry.Youfuckingdisappeared,Liam!”

“Ididn’tthinkyouwantedtohearfromme.Jesus!”

“No.That’sright.Youhaveotherworries,likeyourwomen,likeAnya.”

Myhandsfelltomysidesashebracedhispalmsagainstthekitchenisland.“Thereisnomeand

Anyaasidefromfriendship.Icouldn’tfuckheroranyotherbroadifItried.”Mydryhuskoflaughter

fellshort.“Notmytype.”

Michaelrefusedtolookatme.

“Look, I’m sorry that thing”—that hot, raw, awesome thing—“happened in the shower. And I’m

sorryyouhadtopackupmyshit—”

“YouthinkI’mpissedaboutthat?”Hejerkedhisheadup,hittingmewithastormyglare.“Ididn’t

knowwhereyouwere,afterwe...afterI

—

”

Kissedyou.

Christ,hecouldn’tevensayitoutloud.

“DevknewwhereIwas.”Iwalkedintothelivingroom.

Michaelpacedafterme.“Notgoodenough.”

“Ihadtogohome.Hadtogetaway.IfyouknewhowmuchI...”Ishookmyhead,sittingdown

onthecouch.

“Howmuchyouwhat?”

HowmuchIwantyou.

Itwasonthetipofmytongue.Itshould’vebeentheeasiestthingtosay.

Icouldn’tdoit.

“Howmuchmybrotherandsistersneedme.”Imanagedtogetitout.

Michaelsatbesideme.“What?”

Islumpedback.

Curlingmyarmsovermyface,Ihid,justlikeIalwaysdid.“Myda’sadick.Mymaworkstoo

much.It’sashitty-assdealforMary-Kateandthelittleones,ConorandSaoirse,

while I get the red

carpettreatmentforbeingnothingmorethanapunchingbag.NothingI’dexpectyoutounderstand.”

“Don’tgivemethatshit.Imight’vehaditprettygoodgrowingup,butthatdoesn’tmeanIdon’t

care,Liam.”

Ibravedalookathim.

Tuggingahandthroughhishair,hesaid,“Sorry.IguessIalwaysthoughtofyouasinvincible.”

“I’manythingbut.”Istooduptogetawayfromhissympatheticlook.

LastthingIwantedwashispity.

Michaelrosebesidemeandturnedmetohim.Whenhishandsroamedbehindmynecktohold

ontome,fasthotdartsoflongingflareddowntomygroin.Hisbreathheatedmycheek.

Istoodrigidlyinhisembrace.“Don’t.Fuckingdon’ttouchme,Michael,unlessyoumeanit.”

“JesusChrist!”Heexplodedawayfromme.“Idomeanit!IfyouhadanyideahowmuchIhurt

whenyoutakeapunch.HowmanytimesI’vehadtocounttoonehundredwhenI’mmassagingyou,

orallthetimesI’vewalkedoutofalockerroombecauseyouwerealreadyinthere.HowmuchIwant

tobetheoneinyourbed!”

“What?”Mystomachclenched.

Hestalkedtowardme,growlinginmyface,“Iwantyousomuch,Liam.You’refuckingkilling

me.Thesepasttwoyears...”Heshookhishead.“Ican’tstopthinkingaboutyou.”

Mykneesbuckled.“ButI’mnot—”

“Gay.Iknow.Fuck,Iknow.”Heranhisfingersthroughhishair,causingtheblondcurlstotumble

overhisloweredbrow.“Justdon’thatemeforit.Don’tsayanythingtoruinmycareer.I’vestillgotta

work,youknow?Evenifit’snotwithyou.”

In my wildest dreams I never thought I’d hear him say he wanted me. I didn’t even listen to the

rest.

Imovedfast,bracketinghiminsidemyarmsagainstthewall.“IwasgonnasayI’mnotstraight,

Michael.”

“What?”

I ran my lips up his neck to his ear. “I’m gay. And you’ve made me insane. I can’t think when

you’rearound.Idon’tsleepwithchicks.AllthosewomenyouthinkI’musingforaneasyfuck?I’m

not.Ineverhave.Iwinfightsforyou.Iwantyoutobeproudofme.Iwantyoutowantme.”Ilooked

intohiseyes.Theywerealmostblackwithneed.“Iwantyou.”

“Kissme.”

OhmyGod.

Mybreathhalted.Iloweredmyheadandnuzzledhisjaw.

“Yousmellgood.”Itwassomethingabouthisheat,maybehissoap.Spicy.Tangy.

“Liam...”

“Shh.”Iwatchedhiseyelidscloseandhislipspart.“I’mgettingthere.I’mjusttakingmytime.”

I kissed the side of his jaw and licked up to his earlobe. He grasped my hips and then slid his

hands to my ass. The feel of his thick rod jutting against me, even through clothes, was enough to

drawmylipstohismouth.

AlighttastewasallItook.Ipulledbackandlickedmylips.Hewatchedandgroaned.Ikissedhim

again.Hislipsweresmoothandsoftbutstrong.Andtheburnofhisfinestubbleonmymouthwasso

fuckinghot.

“More,”hemoaned.

Slantingmyhead,Idippeddownanddraggedmytongueacrosshislips,theninside.Wetraded

smallkisses until restraintbecame too much.I grasped his neckand his hip,hitching him closer to

me.Partingmymouth,Itookhisinabruisingkiss.Ourtonguestwinedandtasted.Ourlipsmoved

faster. Hunger for each other had us grinding together. My grunts meshed with his groans and the

slideofhisstifferectionagainstminepushedmeclosetotheedgeofcoming.

Justasquickly,Michaeljerkedaway.Breathcrashedinandoutofhimashestaredatme.

“What?”Igrunted.

Closinghiseyes,heshudderedandgroaned.Ireachedtowardhimtohaulhimback,buthemoved

away.

“Fuck.”Hisvoiceshook.“Liam,I’msorry.”

Myhearthammeredinmychest.Mycockpoundedinmypants.Mylipsfeltswollen.Iwantedhim

backagainstme.

“Don’tbesorry.ThisisexactlywhatIwant.”

“Ican’tdothis.NotwhenI’mwithWade.”

Talkaboutastunningblow.

I almost fell over. I barely managed to catch myself on the wall, my arms outstretched to brace

myself.SuddenlyIcouldn’tbeartolookathim.

“Ofcoursenot.”Thewordshashedoutofme.

“Iwantto.”

“Ha.Ithinkthat’sprettyobvious.”

“WadeandIhavebeentogethersolong.”

At that I held up my hand. “Stop right there. I don’t want to hear anything about that. Sorry if I

sound harsh, but I can’t listen to you talk about your relationship with another guy when that’s the

onlythingIwantwithyou,andhemightbetheonethingstandingintheway.”

“So...”

Ikeptmyeyesonthewall,thinkingI’dreallyliketopunchitbutIcouldn’triskmessingupmy

hand.“SoIguesswehavealotoftrainingtodobeforethenextfight.”

ThenextthingIheardwasthedoorclosing.

Thatwasthatthen.

ForonebriefmomentI’dthoughtIcouldhaveitall.

Turningaround,Isliddownthewall.Ilandedonmyassonthefloor.Rightinfrontofmewas

Gideon’s painting. Michael hadn’t even noticed it. I’d bought it because it reminded me of him and

me.

Moretorture.Niceone,champ.

Well, I might as well go whole hog. I dug out my phone and finally listened to the voicemails

MichaelhadleftwhileIwasinCincinnati.Hearinghisvoice,theconcernandregret,theworry,and

thentheangerthatIwasblankinghimout,hurtalmostasmuchashavinghimwalkoutonmeagain.

Afterthefinalmessage,Ihurledthatfuckingphoneagainsttheoppositewall.

Itshatteredonimpact.

ChapterEighteen

DownButNotOut

TOTALBLOCKADE.COCKBLOCKED.HEADFUCKED.Callitwhatyouliked.Thiswasamillion

times worse than going solo into the fantasyland of what could happen between Liam and Michael.

NowIknewhewantedme,too,butnothingwasevergonnacomeofit.

IwishedI’dneverfuckingknown.

We certainly didn’t mention the kisses that never should have been. But I wouldn’t give up our

kisses,thosefewkisses,foranything.Nomatterhowmuchtheyhauntedme.

Ithrewmyselfsingle-mindedlyintotraining.ThebackbreakingroutinewasallIhad.Michaelwas

justashardcore.SeanandDevlinapprovedofitall.AtleastIdidn’treceiveanymoreear-bashings

fromDev.Ididn’treceiveanymoresexymassagesfromMichaeleither.

He went at me like a gorilla when he worked my muscles. His fingers dug in. His knuckles

pressed down. The moment his hands gentled, warmed, stroked, felt, he jerked away as if my skin

burnedhim.Shakingouthishands,he’dturnaway.IhopeditwastohideanerectionliketheoneI

invariablyboasted.

Torturous times in the ring. Wracking my body under heavy weightlifting. And doing yoga

alwaysendedwithlockerroomstandoffs.Whowouldundressfirst?Didwestilluntapeeachother?

Wasshoweringinthesameblockstillokayandhowmanytimesdidhecheckmeout?Didheseeme

leaningoutoftheshowerashewalkedbare-assedtohistowel?

On edge. Both of us were. Maybe that made me more of a killer in the ring. Being even more

hyper-awareofmyfucked-upcircumstancesdefinitelyprimedmyinstincts,instilledthewilltofight

andwin.

JustashameitwasMichaelIwantedtowin,andthatwasevenmorefar-fucking-fetchedthanmy

championshipbelthadbeentwoyearsago.

That shit went on for four fucking-horrible New York weeks that culminated in Michael asking

Devlin for a weekend off at the beginning of June. At least Mikey’s leave of absence meant I didn’t

havetolookathimandwanthimsomuchitcrippledme.Icouldn’ttouchhimthewayIwantedto,or

stareathimbecausehewassogoddamngorgeousitmademecrazynothavinghim.

I was relieved until Dev let slip Michael was off to Chicago. Awesome. Great. He was having a

sexyweekendgetawaywithWade.

IfeltlikeI’dbeenkickedinthenuts.

Sickofspinningmywheelsandbeingamopeyhouseboundbastard,IdecidedtotakeGideonup

onhisofferof“friends”.I’dalreadyfilledAnya’searaboutthegoings-on.Shewasstillonthecircuit

so we commiserated via Gchat about my nonexistent love life while I’d sympathized with her over

quantumphysicsandothershitIhadnoclueabout.

Mary-Kate had blasted into me about being not just a closet-case but a total shut-in. That was

Shaughnessyfamilysupportforyou.Toobadshehadagoodpoint.

OntheFridaynightofMichael’sweekendsexcapade,IendedupatGideon’swithcartonsofThai

takeout.OnceagainIkickedmyselffornotbeingattractedenoughtohim.Ilookedathisblackhair

andthoughtofblond.IsawhissparklygreeneyesandpicturedthehazygraydepthsofMichael’s.

Shoving those thoughts firmly from my mind, I released a long breath. Michael was not gonna

takeupanymoreofmyheadspace.IwasheretohangwithsomeonewhohadnoideawhoIwasand

wantednothingmorefrommethanchillingout.

GideonandIsatinhislittleloungearea.Wesharedfromopencartonsoffood.Hehadwine,butI

stuck to the water. The small talk was easy because I was truly interested in his artwork, and I

studiouslyavoidedanymentionofmywork.

Later,GideonstretchedhisarmacrossthebackofthesofaandgrinnedatmeinhislazywayIwas

gettingtoknow.“Soyou’retheupandcomingheavyweightboxer,huh?TheIrishBlight?”

“Ahshit.YouGoogledme?”Myfaceturnedhot.“AndIpreferBonnyBruiser,bytheway.”

Helaughed.“Well,youaredefinitelybonny.WhatcanIsay?Youmadeanimpressiononme,and

since you’ve never talked about yourself, I got curious. Very impressive, and I’m not just talking

aboutyourphysique.”

“Ithinkyoulivetomakemeflustered.”Ihidmyfaceinmyhands.

“You’reevensexierwhenyoublush.”

Igroanedlongandloud.

“Ihaveapropositionforyou.”

“I’m pretty sure you’ve already propositioned me half a dozen times already.” I peered over at

him.

Heloungedlikeapanther,soateasewithhimself.“Agayguycantry.Reallythough,haveyou

everconsideredsittingforanudepainting?”

“What?”Myeyesbulgedoutofmyhead.“No!”Icoveredmycrotchwithbothhandsoninstinct.

“Gotcha.”Gideonsmirked.

Ihadtotusslewithhimafterthat,butImadesurenottobruiseskinorbreakanybones.ThenI

stoppedbecauseIusuallydidn’troughhousewithanyonebutMichael.

Gideon’s long hair clung to his cheeks as he hunkered on his heels across from me. “I wasn’t

goingtoputthemovesonyou.”

Istoodthenreacheddowntogivehimahandup.“It’snotthat.”

“Awhell,Liam.Justbestraightwithme,”hegrumbledashetookaseatonthesofa.

Myeyebrowquirked.

“Right.Youknowalotofusaregoodatkeepingsecrets.”Laughing,hepattedthecushionnextto

him. “You already admitted you’re gay, okay? You look like you’ve got a lot on your mind. I just

wanttohelp.”

Gideon.Hewasgorgeous.Ishouldwanttogiddyaponhim.InsteadIsatontheedgeofthecouch,

asfarawayaspossible.

“Hey,Liam.Imaywanttojumpyourbones,butIdon’twanttorattleyourcage.”

He looked one hundred percent honest and open, and suddenly I was sick and tired of hiding.

Therewasnohanky-panky.Butoverthecourseoftheevening,Iendedupspewingmygutsbecause

—goddammit—Ijustneededcompanionshipwithsomeonewhounderstoodthattotallyprivatesideof

me.

Itfeltgood.Itwasarelieftobehonest.Itwasevenfuckingfunny,tellinghimsomeofmystories

thathadsokilledmeinthepast—thetimewiththeRobertMapplethorpebookinthepubliclibrary,

for instance—and listening to Gideon’s in return. It was great, in fact, until the conversation rolled

aroundtoMichael.

ThenIclammedup.

WhenGideonsaidgoodbyetomeattheelevator,hemadeitjustaseasy.“Nostrings.Justfriends.

Besides,Imayneedsomemusclesometime,andyoucouldcomeinhandy.”

IgotthroughthatshittyweekendwithmyheadonatleasthalfwaystraightbecauseofGideon’s

company.Ididn’tmindwhenheflirted,itseemedtobepartofhispersonality.Andhewasdamnhot,

sothatdidn’thurtnoneeither.

WewereatmyplaceSundayevening.DinnerhadbeeneatenbeforeI’dintroducedGideontothe

finer points of Madden NFL on the Xbox after I’d mopped up my opponents in Call of Duty Black

OpsII.

Thepoordude.He’dclearlyneverheldacontrolpadorplayedavideogameinhislife.Hegaped

atmyinstructionslikeIwastalkingGreek.PossiblyRussian.

Icouldn’twaittowipethefloorwithhisass.

Precisely one hour later I wanted to rip the controller out of his hands and throw it against the

wallsoitcouldjointhegadgetgraveyardwithmydeceasedcellphone.

IwishedI’dnevertoldhimwhatanXboxwas.

He’djustkickedmyassforthethirdtimeonMadden.

“Beginners luck.” I kicked out my foot to connect with his hip as he sat across from me on the

floor.

“Soreloser.Isthishowyouactwhenyouloseafight?”

“Idon’tlosefights.”Iflexedmybicepsforhimuntilthebigmusclesswelledintohugehardened

masses.

“Imighthavetomakeamoveonyouifyoudothatagain.”Gideonwaggledhiseyebrows.

Iimmediatelydroppedmyarms.

Hecrackedup.Hislowlaughcamefromhisbelly,alwayswithhisheadthrownback.Wouldhe

lookthatwaywhenhecame?IwasjustthinkingmaybesomedayIcouldfallforhimwhensomeone

bangedonthedoorsoloudIthoughttheyweregonnabreakrightthroughthedamnthing.

“ThatmustbethesupremepizzaIordered.Iknowyou’reonaspecialdiet,butI’mgettingtiredof

eatingsawdustfordinner.”Gideonchuckled.

“Asshole.”Gettingup,Iplantedmypalmontopofhishead.ThenIshovedhimsideways.

Anotherroundofheavybanginglandedonmydoor.

“I’mcoming!”

Unlocking the door, I swung it wide open. Michael stood outside, all ablaze and shining and

beautifulandblond.

Allsmiles.

Whatthehellwashesmilingat?He’ddisappearedforaWildWadeWeekend.Ialmostslammed

thedoorinhisfacebuthecrossedthethresholdfirst.

Ibackedup.

Hecameforward.

“Whoisit?”Gideonshoutedfromthelivingroom.

Gideon’svoicestoppedMichaelinhistracks.HisI’msohappyIgotlaidexpressionchanged.His

facebecameunyielding.Icouldseethefurybuildinginhiseyes,anditcalledminetothesurface.As

ifthatfuckerhadanyrighttogetjealous.

“Nobody,”Icalledback,keepingmyhardgazeonMichael.“Nobodyatall.”

ChapterNineteen

JealousAsFuck

MICHAEL’SEYESBLAZED.HISjawclampeddownsohardIheardhisteethsnaptogether.

“Igoawayforoneweekendandyou’vealreadygotsomeoneoverhere?”Hestoodsocloseto

mehischestbrushedminewhenheexhaledachoppybreath.“Who’sinthere?”

“Gideon.”

“Thepainter?You’vegotthatgoddamnpainterinyourlivingroom?”Michael’snostrilsflared.

Ifoldedmyarmsovermychest,forcinghimtotakeastepback.“Yeah.Wedidn’tmakeittothe

bedroom.”

Michaelturnedslowly.Heclosedthedoorwithdeceptivecalmthensteppeduptomeoncemore.I

wouldn’tbackup.Iwasn’tgonnabackdown.Thiswasmyfuckingplace,andIcouldhaveanydamn

personIwantedover.IcouldhaveentirefuckingorgiesofmenifIwanted.

“AndI’mnobody,huh?”heasked,hiseyesnarrowing.

“Prettymuch.”

Suddenlyunleashed,Michaelconnectedwithme.Healmosttoppledmeover.Hishandsgrappling

downmybackandtomyass,heyankedmeagainsthisbody.Godhelpmebuthefeltgood,sogood.

Fromthehardbicepstothethickpecstothesoftstubbleashischeekraspedmine.

Toogoodtobetrue.

Ishovedhimaway.

Hisbackhitthedoor.

“Stopit.”

Withaslowsinistergrin,heshookhishead.Hebitintothepinkskinofhisbottomlip,zeroingin

onmymouthwhenIunconsciouslylickedmineinresponse.

“Michael—”Ididn’tgetoutanotherword.

Heleapedatme,knockingmeintothewall.Heslantedhismouthdownonminesofast,withsuch

heat, I groaned. I reached for his hair, tugging at the blond curls to drag him closer instead of

thrustinghimaway.

He moaned the moment my fingers fisted then he parted my lips with the hot wet dart of his

tongue. They were furious kisses. Brain frying, body melting kisses as we clambered to get closer

anywaywecould:pullingatclothes,grabbingatasses,tanglingaroundeachother.

Ibrokeaway,groaning,“Wait,wait...”

Michaeldidn’twait.Heshovedmeintothekitchen.Hepumpedagainstme,againstthecounter.He

drownedeveryfriggingthoughtofstoppingfrommyheadwithhislipsandhisteethandthatfucking

hottongueonmyneckandearsandjawuntilIhadtoholdmyselfuponlegsturnedtoliquidwithmy

palmsbracedbehindme.

GideonappearedintheroomwhileMichaelattackedmyneckandItriednottocomeinmypants.

“Ohshit,”Gideonmuttered.

“Get out.” Michael lifted his head from his torturous tugging and lapping at the join of my

shoulderjustlongenoughtobeadick.

“Michael...”Icouldn’tmoveawayfromhim.

Histeethnippedme.Histonguetrailedalongmyskin.

“I’mnobody?”Michael’smouthmovedslowlyacrossmine.“Nobody?Bullshit.”

“Gideon—”IglancedoverMichael’sshoulder.

“Callmelater.Unlessyouneedsomehelp?”

“No.”Myvoicewassodeepandhoarse,itbarelyregistered.

Secondslaterthedoorsoftlyclosed.

Withthatsound,Michaelcurledaroundme.Hiskissesgentled,movingfromonepartofmyface

tothenextashewhisperedwordsIcouldn’tquitehear.Allthefightseepedrightoutofhimuntilwe

clungtoeachother.

Hemovedhislipstomyear.“Wereyouwithhim?”

“No. But it’s none of your damn business if I was.” I pushed him away then rubbed my fingers

againstmydamp,kiss-swollenmouth.“Youcan’tkeepdoingthistome.YouwerewithWade.”

“Toleavehim.”Michaelglancedatmewithstarkeyes.

“What?”

“I’vethoughtofnooneelsebutyouforsolong,Liam.Afterwekissedintheshowerandthenthe

secondtime...”Hepressedhislipstogether,frowning.“Doyouthinkwecouldsitdown?”

Myheartricochetedaroundmychest,butIkeptallshowofemotionfrommyfaceasIledhim

intothelivingroomwherewesatnexttooneanotheronthecouch.

“I’vefeltlikeI’vebeenunfaithfultoWadeformonths,evenbeforeanythinghappenedbetweenus.

Heknewit,too.Knewsomethingwasn’tright.It’sbeenrockyforalongtime.AfterChicago,after

you took off and I went a little crazy, he accused me of having feelings for you, and that’s when I

realizedit.”Theturbulentgrayofhisgazeheldmestill.Sadnessdarkenedhisfeatures.“WadeandI

areover.”

“Fuck.”Igrabbedhishand,windingmyfingersthroughhis.“I’msorry.Imean,I’mnotreally,but

that’sabastardthingtosay,right?”

Lifting his hand to my lips, I kissed the tip of every long finger before brushing his knuckles

againstmycheek.

“You’renotreallyfamousforyourwords,baby.”

Baby.Ilikedthesoundofthat.Itwouldbesomuchbetterwithhimbegging.

“I’mnot,huh?WhatamIfamousfor,then?”Bringinghisindexfingertomymouth,Itwirledmy

tonguearounditbeforesinkingdowntotheknuckle.

“Foryourtouch,bythefeelofit.”Hiseyelidsdriftingshut,hemovedcloser.“Fuck,Liam.”

“Mmm.” I swirled onto his middle finger, wetting it with a long slow slide of my tongue. “You

tastesogood.Can’twaittosuckyourcock.”

“Youprobablybetterstopsayingshitlikethat,”hegasped.“I’dexplodeifyoutouchedmeright

now.”

“Wouldn’twantthathappeningjustyet.”Ilethishandgo,andhesmootheditalongthesideofmy

face.

Leaningforward,Ikissedhischeeks,hisforehead.Inudgedhisheadasidetobreatheinthescent

atthehardsquarecornerofhisjaw.

Mythroatgrewtight.“Ican’tbelieveI’msittingherewithyoulikethis.”

“Meeither,Liam.”Withhisarmsaroundme,hepulledmedownwithhim.

Wecurleduponthesofa,together.Jesus.NeverthoughtI’dgetthechancetodothis.EvenifIwas

just comforting Michael after he broke up with his long-term boyfriend, he wanted to be with me.

Thatblewmymind.Iwasfinallyabletotouchhim,holdhim.

“AreyouokayaboutWade?”

Hemovedcloser,pressinghisfaceagainstmythroat.Ifuckinglovedit.Jesus,Ievenplayedwith

hishair,thosesun-drenchedcurlssosofttothetouch.

“Itgotugly.Howcoulditnot?We’vebeentogetherforever.”Michaelshookhisheadagainstmy

neck.“Hetoldmehe’dbeenplanningtoaskmetomarryhim.”

“Oh,fuck.”

Hekepthisfacehiddenwhereitwas.“Heflushedtheringdownthetoiletandstartedthrowingmy

stuff out the window. We’ve got legal things to sort out. I mean, four years living together?” His

laughwasshortandshaky.“It’sasgoodasgettingadivorce.”

“Areyousurethisistherightthingtodo?Idon’twantyoutoregretit.”Shutthefuckup,champ.

Michaelpulledoutofmyembrace.“Yeah.It’snotjustlustwithyou,Liam.Iwaslivingahalf-life

sincethe injury, untilI teamed upwith you. You makeme alive. You”—hesmiled—“turn me on so

much my gut hurts, but, Jesus, you push me. You piss me off half the time. You hit all my buttons,

someIdidn’tevenknowIhad.”

“Themassages.”

Hischeekstingedpink.Hereachedbehindhisbacktochuckacushionatme.

“Dickhead.Maybe.Yeah.That’sdefinitelyabutton.”

“Oneofmine,too.”Myvoicedippeddeep.

Hisgazeloweredtotheswellingbulgeinmypants.“Oh,Iknow.”

Ithrewthepillowbackathim.“Asshole.”

Welaugheduntilheturnedtowardme,runningbothhishandsupmythighs.“Iwanttogivethisa

shotwithyou,Liam.”

Igulped.“Yeah.”

Recliningontothatsuededouble-widebehemoth,Idrewhimwithme.“IsitokayifIkissyou?”

“Didn’tstopyoubefore.”

Hismouthwassopliantandfirmatthesametime.Thestingofhislightstubblecapturedmylips

andmademecrazyforitallovermybody.Histongueweavedaroundmineinsomekindofkinky

slowmotiondanceIcouldn’tgetenoughof.Igraspedhisass.Heclaspedhisarmsaroundmyneck.

Wemoanedwhilemakingsweet,hotlovetooneanother ’smouths.

ThethicknessofMichael’serectionrubbedagainstminewhenherolledtohisside,catchinghis

breath.“WhataboutthatGideonguy?”

“Iboughtapainting.AndIdidn’tthinkIneededyourpermissiontohangoutwithsomeone,since

I’manadultandall.”

Michaelleanedupontoanelbow.“Areyoulookingtopickafightwithme?”

“No.”Ithoughtwewereheadedtobedsoon.

AlthoughtusslingwithMichaelalwaysgotmehot.Maybethiswasjustmoreforeplay.

“Soyouboughtoneofhispaintings.”

AgainwiththedeceptivecalmthathidahotjealousstreakI’dneverimagined.

HereIwastakingashinetohim,andhewasprobablyonewordaboutGideonawayfromtrying

topummelmethroughthefloor.

“Youwenttohisstudio?”AgainwiththedangerousadvanceasMichaelrolledmeontomyback

andcrawledupmybody.“Alone?”

“JesusChrist.WeplayedMaddenNFLtonight.Andbytheway,thenever-heard-of-an-Xboxfreak

kickedmydamnass.”

“Isthatallhedidtoyourass?”

Ididn’tevenbothertoanswer.IdraggedMichaeldown,toppledhimover,andwenttoworkon

anybareskinIcouldfind.Cometofindout,Mikeywasparticularlysensitiveattheinnerbendofhis

elbow,alongthetrailoffuzzthatranfromhisbellybuttontobelowwhenIliftedhisshirtacouple

inches,andhisfingers.HishipsthrustupeverytimeIsuckedandslurpedhisfingers.Icouldn’twait

togettohiscock.

IsmiledagainsthislipswhenIroseuptokisshimagain.

Hisbreathpuffedinandout,andhischeekswererosy,hiseyesglazedover.

“So?”Iasked.“Youandme?”

ChapterTwenty

UpandComer

MICHAELLINKEDHISHANDSbehindmynecktopullmedown.“Yes.”

“We need to keep it under wraps, you know.” A little bit of worry worked into my fuck-yeah-

awesomemoment.

“What?”

“Noonecanknow,Michael.”Isatback.“Notrightnow.I’vegotthefightcomingupwithReggie,

theonethatcouldgetmetothetitlematch.Idon’twannafuckitup.”

“Andyouthinkcomingoutasgayisgoingtoruinyourchances?”

“Morelikemycareer.”

“I’mgay.I’mout.”Hesatup,perfectlyramrodstraightbesideme.

“It’snotthesame.Thisistheprofessionalsportsworld,man,youknowthis.”

“Sohowdoyouproposewegoaboutthis”—hepointedbetweenhimandme—“us?”

“Wehavetokeepitprivate.”Istoodupandwalkedaroundtheroom.

“Youmeansecret.”

“The people who matter, the ones who should know, know. Right now that’s you and me,

Michael.”Ikneeledinfrontofhim.“Please.Fornow.I’vebeenachingforyou,babe.Iwannabewith

you,butholyfuck,ifDevlinfoundoutweweretogetherhe’dfliphisfuckinglid,andhemakesmy

lifealivinghellasitis.”

DevmightknowIwasahomo,buthedidn’tthinkIwasstupidenoughtoactonit.

“Whataboutlater?”Michaelaskedinawarytone.

“Iwantmore.Iwanteverythingwithyou.”Ipresseduptocapturehislips.

Michaelwoundhisarmsaroundmeandsliddowntothefloorinfrontofme.

Ourlipsparted,andIreacheduptobrushthehairoffhisforehead.“Sexy,babe.”Igrinned.

“Don’tevenstartunlessyouwantmetojumpyourbonestonight.”

“Whosaysyou’regonnabetheonefuckingme?”Iraisedaneyebrow.

Hesnakedforwardandbitmyshoulderhard.

Ialmostcameonthespot.

“Oh,wecantalkaboutwhoseassgetsfucked...first.”

We kissed for what felt like hours, and man, it was tempting to take it to the next level, which

would include blowjobs, and rim jobs, and full nudity. But I tamped down the urge to get Michael

naked on the floor so I could listen to him whimper while I went down on his balls. I hadn’t been

kiddingaboutwantingeverything.Iwanteditall,andIwantedtoenjoyeverysinglemomentgetting

theretogether.

Whenourlipsshinedandourcocksached,anditwassheertorturetokeepwiththeslowtaunting

tradeoftonguesintomouths,webrokeapart.Myheartjump-ropedinmychest.Michael’spulseraced

alongthestrongchordsofhisneck.Thegraydepthsofhiseyeswerebarelyvisible.Hisirisesallbut

blackedoutwithneed.

Ourlipsmetonelasttime.Jumprope?JesusChrist.Myheartwasonapogostick.Ihadstubble

burnonmymouthasIbrusheditagainsthis.Andfuckme,itfeltsogood.

Withagroan,IgaveMichaelahandupfromthefloorwe’dpracticallysunkinto.Iwalkedhimto

thedoor.

Holyshit,hewasgrinning,showingthosedeepdeliciousdimples.

Withmyhandonthedoorknob,Ihesitated.“CanItakeyouonadate?”

“Ithoughtyousaidunderwrapsandstuff.”

I kissed him again, desperate for the taste and feel of him, pressing him against the doorframe.

“Leaveittome.”

His hands lingered on my hips, setting fire to my body. “I’ll come get you for Iron Fists Gym

tomorrow?”

Ibrushedmyjawagainsthisandbreathedintohisear,“Yeah.AndIhopeyoutakeitalloutonme

thistime.”

We couldn’t get away the next night. Devlin and Sean double-teamed me the entire day with

Michael their order-barking disciple. I was pretty sure he got a rise out of ordering me around,

knowinghe’dbekissingthehelloutofmelater.

Whenever Devlin or Sean disappeared from the gym to take phone calls—Dev—or toke soggy

cigars—Sean—Michael’sandmysmacktalkfilledwithdoubleentendrescamehardandfast.

Ourboutsoffightingturnedintoopportunitiestotoucheveryinchofstraining,sweaty,bulging

musclewecouldreach...whiletryingtoknocktheotheroneout.

Iwasfrigginggiddywiththeknowledgehewasmine.

Andhalfsickaboutwhatwouldhappenifanyonefoundout.

I was also beat up and bruised. Dev and Sean had been driving me like I was a prized gladiator

rather than a boxer out to win one more fight in order to get to the title bout. I needed more than

gerbilfeedandagallonofelectrolytesiftheyexpectedmetotakedownalionwithmybarehands.

Michael,inthesameconditionasme,didlittlemorethanclosehiseyesandsighaswestraddled

thelockerroombenchacrossfromoneanotherandIuntapedhishands.

Icurledmyhandaroundhisneckanddrewhimintoakisspreemptedbythejanitorcominginto

collecttowelsandmopthefloor.Insilentagreement,weshoweredatoppositeendsoftheblockof

openstalls.

Keepingmyhandsoffhimjustmademehotter.

The following day I barely endured the weightlifting routine with Michael. He spotted me as I

curlediron,bench-pressed,andforextrapleasure,swamlapswithweightsstrappedon.Throughitall

he was in front of me, behind me, above me, wearing loose shorts that drew visibly tight over his

hard-on.

In the afternoon, we convened with Sean and Dev in my apartment to take apart Reggie’s game

onemoretime.Outtomakemethoroughlylosemymind,Michaeltouchedmeateveryopportunity

whentheothersweren’tlooking.

IwantedtoriphispantsoffandsinkmymouthoverhiscocksomuchIprobablydrooledevery

timehistightassmovedinfrontofme.Ihadanongoingbattlewiththebulgeinmysweats.Itriedto

pay attention to strategy and inner-boxing-Zen, I really did. All I ended up doing was wiping my

mouthandshuttingmyeyesasmycockjerkedtogetfree.

ImadesureDevlinhadnosurprise-here’s-a-hooker-to-turn-you-straightplansformethatnight.I

usedmyonefreehourofftoscoutoutrestaurantsnot-too-closetohomebasebutnottoofaraway.

Imadereservations.

ItextedMichael.

Itookafrigginggirlyamountoftimeshoweringanddressingandhemming-and-fucking-hawing

overwhatcolortietowear.AndwhatcolognetousebecauseIhadliketwotochoosefrom.

Afterdoingtwotest-scentrunsIchoseBurberrySport,theicebluetiewiththediamondpattern,

and my swanky single-breasted lightweight suit. I didn’t have a clue about any of this crap, but I’d

chosen the suit for a press junket with Anya’s help. At the time she’d exclaimed something in

Ukrainianthatsoundedlikeapproval.Goodenoughforme.

DidIdoabreath-check?Yep,atleastthreetimes.ThenIswipedmypalmsagainstmypantsbefore

knockingonMichael’sdoor,becausedamnrightIwaspickinghimupathisapartment.Andgoddamn

rightthatfeltgood.

Whenthedoorswungopen,Michaelstoodbeforeme.Hishairwastheusualwildblondhalo,but

he’ddefinitelycleanedup.Definitely.Yeah.Istartedathishairandthensweptmygazedowntohis

amazing face where a slight one-sided smirk lifted the corner of his lips. Tie—smoky gray—to go

with his smoky eyes. White shirt, dark blue suit . . . his long, long legs and wide, wide shoulders

emphasizedbythecut.

Iclearedmythroatandmadeareturnjourneyuphisbody.Hisgazeclashedwithmine,andIknew

he’dbeencheckingmeout,too.

Isteppedbackintothehallway.Heclosedthedoorwithhissuitjacketslungfromonefingertip

over his shoulder. I smiled and he leaned up to kiss that smile off my lips until my breath stuttered

fromme.Whenhepulledback,Isweptoutanarmtobeckonhimtotheelevator.

Igrinnedwhenhiseyebrowliftedbeforehestrolledoff.Istayedahalfpacebehindthebetterto

inspectthefinefitofhispantsfromthebackside.Hehadtobegoingcommandoorwearingsome

kindofsexyjockundertheslacksbecausetherewasn’tasinglebumpinthefabriccoveringhistaut

ass.

Aloneintheelevatorwekeptupthesilentroutine,butwhenMichaelpushedmeintoonecorner

oftheemptycar,wespokewithourlipsupontheother ’s,ourtonguesandtouchestradingthesecrets

ofourhungerforoneanother.

Igraspedthebackofhisshirtandhisjacketfelltothefloor.HepressedintomeandIfoughtback.

Rollinghimaround,Ibroughthimbetweenthemirroredwallandmewhilehismoanrushedintomy

mouth.

We broke apart when the elevator dinged at floor two. As other people boarded, we stood in

oppositecorners,facingeachother.Ourchestsheaving,oureyesandcheeksbright,weputourselves

backtogether.

Ibrusheddownmylapels.Michaelstraightenedhiscuffswithasnapandaslylookinhiseyes.I

fingeredtheloosenedknotofmytiewithtwointertwinedfingers.Heslowlybentovertoretrievehis

jacket.

There’sdefinitelynounderwearunderthere.

Bythetimewereachedthelobbywestoodside-by-side,somewhatstraightenedup,althoughI’d

hiddenmythrobbingbonerbeneathmybuttonedjacket.Whenwewalkedoutintothelobby,weacted

asifnothinghadhappenedduringtheridedown.Forsomereasonthatwassexyashell.

IheldthedooropenforMichaelwhileheputonhisjacket.Ijoinedhimatthesidewalkwherethe

carI’dhiredwaited,adriverinthefrontseatofthepartitionedSUV.

Asweslidinsideandroaredoff,IturnedtowardMichael.“Hey.”

“Hi.”Heliftedonekneeontotheseatsoitbrushedagainstmythigh.

“You...uh,youmademespeechlessinthatsuit.”

“Youweren’ttheonlyone.”Hewinked.

Hiseyesfuckingtwinkled.

Isettledbackagainsttheseatandranmyarmaroundhisshoulders.“Ididn’tthinkyoucouldlook

betterthanwhenyoudocruncheswithoutyourshirton.Jesus,wasIwrong.”

“YoushouldseewhatI’mwearingunderthese.”Hepluckedatthecreasesofhispants.

My head fell back and I shut my eyes. “Christ, don’t do that shit to me. I’ve already been

wondering,andwehaveawholedamnmealtositthrough.”

“Wecouldskipit,”hetempted.

Myeyesblinkedopen.“No.It’sourfirstdate.”Ilacedmyfingersthroughhis.“Iwannadothis

right.”

“Neverwould’vefiguredyouforold-fashioned,Liam.”

“There’salotyoudon’tknowaboutme.”

“I’mlookingforwardtofindingout.”Hisvoicedroppedtoahuskytone—thekindofwanna-fuck

gutturaltimbrethatmademeregretnotrippingoffhissuitintheelevatorandfuckinghisbrainsout

againstthewall.

ChapterTwenty-One

DateNightWin

“YOUARRANGEDALLTHIS?”Michaelasked.

This was a private dining room at Keens Steakhouse. Booking it may have been overkill, but I

wantedafullservingofdiscretionalongwithourentrées.Thefancyplacealmostmademebreakout

inhivesoncontactfromthelinennapkinlaidinmylap,buttheyhadthebeststeaksintheBigApple,

and the maître d’ wasn’t above a little palm-greasing on short notice when name-dropping was

involved.

Gofigure.

DiscreetwaspracticallyonthemenuatKeens.Fromthestarttherewerenoextrawaitersdancing

in attendance but a sole penguin-suited dude slipping quietly in and out. His tact didn’t settle my

nerves.Notonebit.

Infact,IwasmorenervousthanwhenMargaretMorrisseyhaddeliveredhervirginitytomein

thebackseatofmyda’sImpala.

Ifiddledwiththesilverwareandswore.ThenIapologizedfordroppingthef-bombbecausethis

wasourfirstdateandIwasgoingforromance,notgoon.

Sittingbesideme,Michaellookedamused.“I’mbeginningtothinkyou’rejusttryingtogetinto

mypants,baby.”

Nobrainer!JesusChrist,thenIblushed.AndIblurted,“I’mnot.Iwouldn’t.Iwantto,but...”

“Liam,youdon’thaveanyideawhatyoudotome,doyou?”

Instead of looking at him, I studied the menu in some foreign language—or maybe I was just

holdingthedamnthingupside-down.AllIknewwasIwantedsteak.Ormeat.OrMichael’smeat.In

mymouth.

“When you blush, you, this perfect man made up of two hundred plus pounds of pure muscle,

becauseofme?Fuck,Liam,youmakemecrazy.”

Placingthemenuaside,Ipeeredoverathim.

“IwishI’dtornthatsuitoffyouthesecondyoushowedupatmydoor,andallofthis?”Michael

looked around the joint. “Makes me want to throw you onto the table and suck your hot cock for

dinner,sexy.”

Goddamndittothat.

Sittingupstraighter,Ipulledoutmyglassesandputthemon.IslidmyhandontoMichael’sthigh.

Heinhaledquickly,andthemusclebeneathmypalmtensedandflexed.

Imadeashowofstudyingtheentrees,saying,“Idon’tthinkmycockisonthemenutonight.”

Michael’sshouldersjostledwhenhelaughed,andhislaughwasadeeprumblefromhisstomach.

“Now behave, because if you say anything regarding cream and dessert in the same sentence,

romanceisdefinitelyoffthetable,andI’llhavenochoicebuttofuckyouraw.AndIwill keep my

glassesonbecauseIknowhowmuchtheyturnyouon,baby.”

Hisgroanwasdeepandlong,andIwonderedhowwe’dmanagetositthroughafullmealwithout

fuckingalloverthisover-pricedprivatefoodiehaven.

Michaelwasn’tabouttogodownwithoutafight,though.

Hestudiedhismenuthensaid,“Orderwhatyouwant.I’llletyou.”

“You’llletme?”Iswungmyheadtowardhim.

“Hey,it’syourheartattack.”Hesmirked.

“Onlythingthat’sgonnagivemeaheartattackisthewayyoulookinthosepants,stud.”Holyshit,

Ican’tbelievethosewordscameoutofmymouth.

Ididn’tregretitonebitwhenMichael’sfingerstrembledonhisglassofwine.Orwhenhischeeks

turnedpink,theexactsamecolorashissilkynipplesonhisbig,broadchest.Hewasn’ttheonlyone

capableofcausingablush.

Ihadsteak.OfcourseIdid.Iateitall,withvigor.Michaelgaveinandhadprimerib,too.Farm-

to-tableveg,hotfudgesundaefordessert.Whoknewchocolatecouldmakeyoureyesrollback?It

tastedgood.Evenbetterwhenwesharedaspoon.

Over two hours later, the table was cleared with coffee on the way. The staff knew to leave us

alone,butIstillfeltlikesomeonewasbuttinginonoursecretsanctum.Ididn’twanttospendtherest

ofthenightthinkingaboutthebigWade-shapedelephantintheroom.

“Areyoudoingokayabout...”Iwavedmyhand,meaningthatotherguy.

“Wade?”

Ijerkilynodded.NotthatIwantedtoknow.

Michaelsatback,hislegcrossedattheknee.Helookedrelaxed,buthismouthpinchedinatthe

corners.“It’sgoingtotakesometime,andit’snotevenjusttheemotionalfallout.Imean,hewasmy

friend as well as my lover, and I think the way I broke up with him destroyed anything good we’d

had.”

IfeltlikesuchaschmuckbecauseIcouldn’teventellMichaelIwassorryaboutthat.Thefactwas,

IwasgladWadewasoutofhislife.Itookasipofwineinsteadoftalking.

“Thenthere’sallthecraplikeourfurniture,thebelongings,bothhisandmine...”

“So,Ishouldn’tgetmyhopesup.”Ipushedinclosertothetableandleanedmyheadonahand.

“Youshoulddefinitelygetyourhopesup,Liam.”Michaelreachedovertocupmyface.Hepulled

me closer. “I’m sure as hell hoping we have something together.” His lips brushed against my jaw.

“Canwestoptalkingaboutthatshit?Iwanttosithereandenjoyyou.”

“Ijustwanttosithereandlookatyou.”

“That’sallI’mgoodfor?Sexualobjectification?”

“Prettymuch.Especiallyduringyoga.”Iwinked.

“Youlikethat?”

“Ilikeeverythingaboutyou.”Iscootedcloserandkissedthecornerofhismouth.“We’lltakeit

slowthen?”

“Wecantakeitasslowasyouwant,rookie.”

Ibarkedalaugh.“Iain’tnorookie.”

“Iprobablydon’twanttohearaboutthis.”

“It’snotfirstdateoranydatematerial.”Iglancedathim.“Butyouaremyfirstdatewithaman,

Michael.”

Hewasheart-stoppingbreathtakingwhenhesmiledatme.

Hookinghisfingersbeneathmychin,hepulledmylipstohis.“Yougetrighttotheheartofme,

Liam.”

Ishiveredinmyskin,submersedineverytouchofhisfingersandlips.

Throughoutthecoffeethatwouldhavemehoppedupallnightlong,weheldhands.Wedidn’ttalk

much, the deep and meaningful over for the moment. In place of words we shared easy smiles and

lighttouchespromisingmoreasthethrumofarousalgatheredforceinsideme.

When the bill arrived, Michael pulled the plastic from his wallet before I even had a chance to

grabthefolder.

I shoved his credit card back at him and snagged the bill before he saw the outrageous amount.

“WearenotgoingDutch.”

“CanIatleastleavethetip?”heasked.

“Hellno,youcan’t.Iaskedyouout.”

It was a simple act, paying for our meal, but I wanted Michael to know—well, shit—that I

cherishedhim.AndthatmeantIwasgonnaholdopendoorsforhim,takecareofhimwhenIcould,

aswellasoglehisincrediblebodyeverychanceIgot.

Wezippedbacktoourbuilding,andoncewereachedthelobby,Michaelasked,“Sinceyou’reso

oldschool,you’llprobablywanttowalkmetomyapartment?”

“Iwouldn’tbeatruegentlemanifIdidn’t.”

Invitationgranted.Invitationgreedilyaccepted.

Hisfingerstrailedbeneathmyjacketandsettledonmyass.“That’swhatIthought.”

Wedidn’tholdhandsoreventouchduringtherideupintheelevator.Tensionrolledoffmein

waveswhileMichaelsentmeanaughtysmileasheloungedintheoppositecorner.Helookedlikea

predatorontheprowl.Myheartthuddedevenharderinmychest.

Athisdoor,Ibitandlickedthebackofhisneck,nuzzlingmynoseintohishair.Foramoment,he

wasn’tpredatorbutprey.Myprey.Themusclesinhisshouldersknotted.HisassflexedwhenIfitted

myhandstothebackofhispants.Heturnedthekeyinthelockthenhauledmeinside.

Heslammedthedoor,pressedmeaway,andslidoffhisjacket.“I’vegotsomethingtoshowyou,

baby.”

Shivers rolled up my spine when he called me baby. Christ, maybe I’d get that sexy little

endearmentaddedtomyink.

“What?Yourapartment?”Iturnedaroundandstrolledthroughtheentryway.

Afterall,thiswasmyfirsttimeinhisplace,andIwantedtosnooparound.

Hechuckled—alow,delicious,raspingsound—asIwalkedaway.Itookoffmyjacket,too,letting

itslidetoachair.Hiskitchenwashomierthanmine,withmugslinedupfromthecitieswe’dvisited

and a copper crisscross of hanging pots and pans. There was also a filled-to-the-gills wine rack,

whereasIhadasix-packofGatoradeIcePunch.

Ipointedatthewell-stockedwine,shootingaglareathim.“Notfair.”

Michaelambledcloser.

Heunknottedhistie.

“You’retheonewhowantstobethechamp.”Hishandtraileddownmychestovermyshirt.

Thesensationofhistouchfeltlikewewerealreadyskin-to-skin.

Iarchedintohishandbutthenbackedaway.“Youwannafuckthechamp.”

“Maybewhenyouwinthetitlebelt.”

“Ibetyouahundredbucksyoucan’twaitthatlong.”

“Yeah.Yougotme.”Hisgrowlytonecurledaroundmynadslikefingerssoftlystrokingmymost

sensitiveplaces.

Taking a deep breath, I continued my exploration of his apartment. I tried to ignore his electric

presence.ItlookedlikeMichaelhadlivedhereforyearsunlikemyslapanddashIKEAready-order.

Hisfurniturewasoldbutcaredfor,thecolorsdarkandbold.Booksandmagazinesandnewspapers

clutteredanoakcoffeetablethatmightbelargeenoughtofuckon.

Ifoundhimwatchingmefromacrosstheroom.

Approachinghim,IkeptmystepsslowandsteadyuntilIhadhimcornered.“Soyoureallyarea

smartboy,judgingbyallthesebooks.”

Hegrippedmyhipsinstronghands.“Youreallyareahotboy.AndIwantedtogiveyouthegrand

tourofsomethingelse.”

Shiver.

ChapterTwenty-Two

PropertyofL.S.

AFTEROURPOLISHEDNIGHTout,IneededtoknowexactlywhatMichaelwaswearingunderhis

clothes.Absolutelyfuckin’nuthin’,tightlittlebriefs,orakinkyjockstrap.Ididn’thavetowaitlong.

Heleanedagainstthewallandmovedmyhandstohisbackside.Looseninghisbelt,hemademe

slipbothmyhandsdowninside,overhisass.Ontohiscompletelybarebuttcheeks.Theywerefirm

andsmoothandhotandsilky.

My head fell to his shoulder as I grabbed two handfuls of sexy male. Getting to the outside of

thosemuscularhemispheres,Ifondledthestretchyfabricframinghisass.Oneofmyfingersstrayed

down his cleft, circling his button. Michael kissed my neck in long, slow sweeps mirroring the

motionofmyfingertipupanddownhisdownycrack.

“Undomypants,baby.”

I rutted against him. My dick wet my briefs, already one light touch away from total cock

explosion.“I’mnotsurethat’sagoodidea.”

He just smiled and slid his belt free of the loops. I took over with shaking hands. The zipper

soundedsoloudalongsidemysharpbreaths.Hishard-onrappedagainstmyknucklesasIspreadthe

fabricopen.Ikneeleddown,takinghispantswithme.Shoes,socks,allofitcameoffexceptforthe

jockstrap.AndIalmostdrooledasIskimmedmypalmsbackupthethicksinewsofhislegs.

ThematerialwashotfromhiserectionwhenItouchedhimandwetwherecomeleakedoutofthe

head of his cock. Bright blue against his tanned skin and muscled thighs smattered with light bond

hair,thejockstrapbarelycontainedhim.

Isuckedhishardnessinsidethefabricuntilmylipswereswollenandhisjockwasplasteredtohis

cock.

Grabbingmyhairinatightfist,Michaelpulledmeoff.

Hiseyesgleamed,darkandcraving,ashelookeddownatme.“Readit.”

DownthecenterlineI’dwettedwereboldwhiteletters.

“PROPERTYOFL.S.”

“That’s right. This cock”—he drew his tight blue jockstrap down to bright blond pubes then

snappeditupagain—“belongstoyou,LiamShaughnessy.”

Fuck.Me.

Onmyknees,Irippedmypantsopenandgrippedmyshaft.IshovedMichaelagainstthewalland

cupped his round testicles. Lightly running my fingertips over the head of my dick and his thick

flaredtipatthesametime,Igroaned.

“Ilikethese.Wherethehelldidyougetthem?”

“I’vegotmyresources,justlikeyou.”

“Idon’thaveresources.Ihavehandlers.”

“ButI’mtheonlyonewhohandlesyoufromnowon.”

“Iguessso,sincethis”—Igrippedhiscock—“ismyproperty.”

Ituggedthejockstraploweruntilhisdickwasataperfectninety-degreeangleharnessedbythat

stretchymaterial.

Michaelcombedbackmyhairandcuppedmyface.“Fuck,baby.Thisisoneofmyfantasiescome

true.”

Mouthinghisrigidcockasitstrainedinsidethefabric,Istrokedhisthighs.“Minetoo.”

OurbreathscamehardandfastasIslippedhisballsoutbeneaththeelastic.Theywerehotpink,

hottothetouch,andshiftedinsidemymouthasItonguedthem.Ireachedup,flittingmyfingertips

overthehard,leakingshelfofhiscockheadwhenitrearedoutofhisjock.God,histipwassoaking

wetwithprecome.Iheldmypalmbeneathhisfreedballsandsuckedthembackintomymouth.My

otherhandneverstrayedfromthedeepreddome-headofhiscock.

I slipped my slick fingers into my mouth to taste him on my lips. Salty-sweet and absolutely

addictive, and that was just his precome. I stood to kiss Michael, moaning when he dragged me

againsthim.Myshaftrolledagainsthishalf-baredone,thesensationonestepawayfromsettingme

off.

Michaelmusthavefeltthesamebecauseheattackedmymouthwithhis,fuelingmyneedtoreturn

hisroughkisses.Heatemylips,mychin,myneck.Breakingaway,helickedhislipsandstaredatme

witheyesalmost-black.

Thenhegrunted,“Toofuckinghotforyourowngood,Liam.”

Iswallowedhard.Itriedtograbhim,butheshookhishead,sinkinghisteethintohisbottomlip.

Bigtease.Ihadnoideahe’dbesoexplosivelysexy.Slidingaway,hewalkedtothesofa,showingoff

thoseamazingroundasscheeks.Iwasleftreelingfromarousalashesatdownandbeckonedmeto

hislap.

Istraddledhimslowly,knowinghecouldhandlemybodyontopofhis.Weweremostlydressed,

butstillIsaid,“Ithoughtweweretakingthisslow.”

Inonepowerfulmove,Michaelrippedopenmyshirt.

WhatwasIthinkingaboutbeingmostlyclothed?

He didn’t seem to have time for more talking tonight. Instead he devoured my chest—grunting,

groaning,suckingonmynippleslikenooneeverhadbefore.Mycockpressedagainsthisinhislap.

Andtheheat,histongue-lashing,themalenessofthismomentstretchedmyresolvetothebreaking

point.

“Ilikethis.”MichaeltrailedhistonguealongtheCelticcrossonmypec.“Ireallylikethis.”He

liftedmyarmandnibbledtheblackandreddragontattoothatwrappedallthewaydownmyforearm.

“KnowwhatIlove?”

“Mycock.”

“Funnyboy.”Hesmackedmyass,andtheheatoftheunexpectedblowsearedme.

“Idareyoutodothatagainifyouwantmetoshootalloveryou.”

“WhatIwantisforyoutostandupandturnaround.”

Ohfuck.Whereishegoingwiththis?

Standinguponhugethighsthattrembled,Iturnedaround.Mybodyrippledwiththeheatofhis

gazeIfeltlikeatorchonmyskin.Myundonepantsdroppeddownmylegs.Ikickedthemoffmyfeet.

Istoodinonlyatightpairofblackbriefs.

“Youlovemyass?”Icroaked.

“Idoloveyourass.AndI’mgoingtolovefuckingyourass.”Myholeflaredathiswords.“But

I’mtalkingaboutyourwings,baby.Flexforme.”

“Michael,I—”

“Doit.”

I sucked in a breath. I was going to come if he said anything else in that commanding tone. He

didn’t even need to touch me. I pulled my arms up, bent them at the elbow, and flexed every single

musclefouryearsofnonstoptraininghadgivenme.

Michaelgroaned,andthenIfelthimstandrightbehindme.Hislipsthenhistonguewenttowork

onthetattooedwingspushedintohighreliefbymyclassicbodybuilderpose.

“Onawingandaprayer.”Hisshortnailsraspeddownmyback.

Ihissedandmyhipskickedout,mycockseekingsomethinghardtoeasetheagonizingarousal

buildingbeneathmytautskin.

“Thatissoyou.”Hismouthlandedonmyspineandtraveledtomyneck.

Icouldn’ttakeanymore.Roundingonhim,Ipushedhimontothecouch.Icrouchedabovehimon

myknees.Graspinghisshirtinbothhands,Itoreitoff.

“Ilikeyourink,too.”IbitoutmywordsjustbeforeIattackedthetatofthebirdofpreywithmy

lipsandtongueandteeth.

I grabbed his nipple, so near the bird’s eye, with my teeth. Michael threw his head back with a

shout.

“Whatisit?”

“Ahawk.”

“Why?”Icircledthepinknubofhisfleshoverandover.

“Why? Christ why what? I can’t think when you’re in the same room with me, let alone when

you’resuckingonme.”

“Justwait’tilIgettoyourcock.”Ichuckledwhenherockedhisgroinagainstme.“Answerme.

Whythehawk?Whythewords:FightandFlight?”

“FightIhadaddedforyou,baby.”

Igrabbedhisshouldersinbothhandsandstaredathim.“When?”

“WhenIknewI’dnevergetoveryou.”

Withmyforeheadbenttohis,Iranmyfingertipsupthesexytatthatladderedalonghismuscled

ribs.“Flight?”

“Because you look like you’re flying when you’re in the ring. And you’re free, for once.” His

mouthmovedtomyear.“Iwantyoutoflywithme.”

Igroanedasourlipsmet.

“Youshould’vebeenafuckingpoet,”Igaspedwhenwebrokeapart.

“Andyoushoulddonothingbutwhatyou’redoingrightnow.”

“What’sthat?”

“MakingmehotterthanI’veeverbeen.”

Westaredateachotherforoneintensemomentbeforewesnapped.

His stubble scraped across my pecs. I nearly choked when he gyrated his hips up for tighter

contactbetweenourcocks.Iforgotallaboutchokingandwasallaboutgroaningwhenourlipsmet

andourtonguescurledintoandaroundeachother ’smouths.

I gasped his name between each kiss. He pulled my briefs all the way off my shaft until they

snuggedbeneathmyballs.Hishotfingersandroughpalmsdraggedonmycock,suddenlyholdingit

againsthis.IcriedoutwhenMichaelslowlyfistedustogether.

“I thought we were taking it slow?” I repeated before the very last few of my functioning brain

cellsstoppedworkingaltogether.

“Thisisslow.IfweweregoingfastI’dbeinsideyourassalready.”Afterthathuskystatementde

facto, he slammed his hand down to both our groins, squeezed and pumped once, and we came

againsteachother.

Thescentofhotsemenandthefeelofthickwetnessblastingoutofusatthesametimewipedmy

brain clean once and for all. I twitched and jerked and held Michael against me. Once my thighs

stoppedtrembling,quaking,quivering,Iloweredtothefloorbetweenhisspreadlegs.Inuzzledhis

hipuntilhelaughed.Iscoopedthecreamystrandsofcomeontomytongue,sharingthemwithhim

slowly,inhismouth.

Anhourlater—sixtyawesomeminutesthatincludedtalking,laughing,kissing,andtouching,all

whilenakedandtangledaroundeachother—Ihadtogo.

NowaycouldIstayatMichael’splace.Thingswere...secret.Although,Iwasalreadyscrewedif

anyone saw me coming out of his apartment. I looked like I’d been manhandled, mauled, and then

someafterIgotdressed.Myshirtwasripped,myjacketwrinkled,mylipsswollenfromsuckinghis

thickcockandsexylips.

Michael circled his arms around me when I hesitated at the door. He was still totally utterly

fuckably naked. And fully hard again. Our kisses went on for minutes. I couldn’t get enough of his

tasteorhistouch.Everytimeourmouthsmet,heatsizzledthroughoutmybody.

“Beautiful,”Iwhisperedwhenourlipsnudgedapart.

“Bruiser.”

“You’vegottaputsomeclothesonwhenyousaygoodnighttome.”Imoaned.

“Maybeyoushouldjuststay.”

“Ican’t.”Istrokedhischeek,hopingheunderstoodhowmuchIwantedto.

“Iknow.”Hiseyesdarkenedashesteppedbackandopenedthedoorforme.

HegrabbedmyhandbeforeIhitthethreshold.Hekissedmyknucklesandsmiled.“Sleeptight,

baby.”

When the door shut between us, I stood outside feeling so completely lost without him

surrounding me. I smelled him on my skin and his taste lingered on my tongue. I straightened my

shouldersandheadedtothestairs,bypassingtheelevator.Ididn’twantaquickcleangetaway.

Ididn’twanttogetawayatall.

We’dspenttheentireeveningandhalfthenighttogether.YetIwasn’tonebitsatisfied.

ChapterTwenty-Three

ALoverandaFighter

AFEWDAYSLATERIhadmysecondencounterwithReggieJones.Therewasabuzzgoingonin

the sports community that made this day electric. Before Reggie and I even shook hands, the

reporters’ and sportscasters’ usual low hum of murmurs reached ear-thundering levels inside the

auditoriumhiredforourfinalpre-fightpressconference.

I ignored it all, just as I did during a bout. I was here for one reason only: to size up the

competition. And Jesus Christ, if there was one thing I was reminded of again, it was Reggie had

sheerfuckingbodymass.Thedudewasbuiltlikeasteamroller.Hisshouldersalmostsplittheseams

ofhisjacket.NotthatIwasalightweightoranything,butMichaelwasgoingtohavetokeepmeon

thestraightandnarrowforthenextfewweeks.Nopunintended.

Reggiehadasmoothlyshavedblackdomeofahead.Hiseyeswereflatastheemptyeye-sockets

of a grim reaper. His severe face and straight lips added to the idea this man was an emotionless

fightingmachine.ButIknewbetter.Asenseofhumorlurkedinside,theoneI’dseeninChicago.

Upuntilthemomentweclaspedhands,Reggiemaintainedhisstoicmask,andIdidlikewise.His

handshake was as strong as I expected, and I met him grip for grip. Our eyes locked together with

dead-on aim. I knew he was searching for my weaknesses while I looked for any show of his true

emotion.

He lowered his voice, the one that had boomed out to his coach seconds before, and jerked his

headaside.“So,whatdoyouthinkaboutthenews?”

“Adude’slifeisadude’slife.Idon’tgivetwoshitswhereanymanstickshisdickaslongasit’s

consensual.You?”

“Same.”Camerasflashedallaroundus.

“Good.”

“Let’sgetonwithit.”

Agreed.

Wewalkedaroundoppositeendsofthelongtable,takingourseatsbetweenourteamsandcalling

thepressconferencetoaction.

Throughout the next hour, we rattled off answers we’d both been made to memorize months in

advance—at least I knew I had. Devlin took particular glee in our interpersonal once-weekly Q/A

sessionswherehetriedtomakemelosemycool,andIwantedtotellhimhowmuchIthoughthewas

atool.

Itturnedouthisdeviousbrandoftraininghadn’tbeenatotalwasteafterall.

Wheredidweworkout?

Likeeitheroneofuswouldspillthatsecretinformation.

Andhowoften?

24/7.

Ourregimes?

That’s need-to-know only and these bozos don’t need to know. Of course we both gave bullshit

palaveranswerslikejumpingropeandrunning.

Howarewemaintainingourweights?

Byeatinglikemotherfuckingrodents,obviously.

Andmusclemass?

Protein,protein,protein...Michael’scome.

ThatlastquestionmademeslantagrinatmytrainereventhoughIkeptmysmartassanswerto

myself.Michaelstaredstraightahead,butIsawtheheatspreadingacrosshischeekbones.

Awesome.Andthankyou.

Thepresskeptdrillingus,addinginplentyofphotoops.Finallyastiffinasuitatthefrontofthe

auditoriumstoodupandannounced,“Timeforlastquestions.”

Fuckingfinally.

Ashortwomaninbrightredjumpedupanddown.“Reggie!You’vegotyoursecondbabyonthe

way.Doyouknowifit’saboyoragirl?”

“Agirl.”

“Whodoyouhopeshetakesafter,youorNatalya?”

“She better take after Dad because the first time she gets felt up I hope she knees the guy in his

nads.”Heslidagrinmyway.“NotthatIdodirtyboxing.”

Everyone laughed, me included. I knew the man wasn’t just a bulldozing bag of muscles. That

wouldmakeitsomuchmorefunwhenwemetinthering.

Thequestionsturnedtomeandthefirstupwasadoozy:

“HowseriousisitwithyouandAnyaNavolska,yourringsidebeauty?”

Ah,Christ.WhenMichael’sflatglarelandedonme,Devlin’sevilpromptsflewoutofmyhead.

Leaningtowardthemicrophone,Isaid,“AnyaandIaregreatfriends.Nothingmore.Ican’thelpit

ifTMZgetsalittletoozealouseverytimeIgooutonthetown.”

“Doyouhavealuckyladyofthemoment?”

I wanted to dive under the table. I clamped my hands together and willed myself to smile. “A

couple.”

Shockedgaspsspedthroughthelargeroom.

Iheldupahandandchuckled,wellawareMichaelsatsteamingbesideme.“Nowholdon,folks.

Mykidsisters.That’sallImeant.Mary-KateandSaoirse.”

“Nicesave,”Michaelmurmuredasthereportersclappedatmyresponse.

“Lastone,Liam.Whatdoyouthinkaboutthismorning’snews.JimmyFontaine,theNFLtoppick

drafteeforthePhoenixDevils,comingoutasgay?”

What the hell? Do I have homo stamped on my forehead? And why does Reg get the easy

questions?

“DoyouthinktheDevilsaregoingtobecomethelaughingstockoftheNFLwithafaggotontheir

team?PhoenixFaggots?”Somehomophobefromthecrowdheckled.

WhoevertheloudmouthshitwasIwishedIcouldgethiminthering.Ragerippedrightthrough

me.

Leaningbothforearmsonthetableinfrontofme,Ikeptmyvoicecalmandsteady.“Here’showI

seeit.It’snotreallyanyofmybusinesswhohooksupwithwhom.Notyourseither.”

“Whatifaboxercameout?”

“WhatdoIlooklike?Afuckingthug?”Thisshitmademeirate,anditshowed.“Iguessifitwas

one of my opponents I’d still have to clean house with him, because he was my competition. Not

becausehewashomosexual.”

“Reggie,howaboutyou?”

Yeah,drophimintothedeepend,too.

Regpulledhismikeuptohisface.“Anyotherman’sbedroomain’tnoplaceIwanttostickmy

noseinto.Personalbizispersonalbiz,andcomingoutisabigdeal.AmIgoingtoflameonaguy

who had the big danglers to put his shit out there? No. Am I gonna treat him to the same hardcore

beat-upinthering?Yeah.YoucanjustcallmeThuggie.”Reggiewinkedatme.

Thebarragefromthereportersstartedagain:

“Soyousupportgaymarriage,Liam?”

“NoH8?”

“Whatareyourviewsonsame-sexparents?”

Theshoutsralliedout,butDevstoodfromhisseat.“Thankyouallforcomingtoday.Ithinkour

fightersarereadyforanightoff.”Hisjawtensedwitheachgrindofhisteeth.

Ihustledoutassoonastherewasbreathingroom,beforeDevlinsubjectedmetoabig-timebitch-

outsesh.Seanclappedmeontheback.Reggiegrippedmyhand.Camerasblindedme,andfinally,I

wasintheauditorium’sundergroundtunnels.

Michael jogged up behind me. He paced my steps through the concrete halls leading to the

parkinggarage.Icouldtellsomethingwaseatinghimup.Hehadn’tsaidonesinglewordtomeand

hewouldn’tevenmakeeyecontact.Infact,he’dbeenbrewingandstewingalldaylong.

Istopped.“What?”

“IfFontaineisbeingacceptedaftercomingout...”

Asighofexasperationleftmylips.

I eyed the concrete corridor in both directions then hushed my voice. “I know we’re both in

professionalsports,butthere’sabigdifferencebetweenNFLandboxing,man.Anddidyouhearthat

fuckwitgoingonaboutfaggots?Besides,Ihaven’texactlybeenseentobecelibate.Imean,I’vebeen

inmagazinesandshitwiththewomenDevlin’sthrownatme.Idon’twannapisspeopleoffbymaking

themthinkI’vebeenlyingallthistime.”

“Butit’sokaytolieaboutme?Topissmeoff?”Michaelgraspedhishairinhishands,asuresign

offrustration.

“I’mnotdoingthistopissyouoff.Youknowthat.I’dgiveanythingtobeout.Ijustcan’triskmy

chanceatthetitlerightnow,Michael.Notrightnow.”

“Ijust...”Helookedatthefloorashishandshungdownbyhissides.“I’dliketobeabletotouch

youinpublic.”Hiseyesflickedup,deepandpiercingandpained.“Iwanttotakemyboyfriendona

datesometime.”

Asmallgrinflewacrossmylips,andImovedclosertohim.“Yourboyfriend?”

Hiseyessuddenlylightened.“Myboyfriend.Mylover.”

“Notquite.”Iwinked.“Notyet.”

“Hmm.Yeah.Istillhavethatbettowin.”

I heard someone coming down the corridor, whistling. Going from somewhat playful to

immediatelyparanoid,IstiffenedandputsomespacebetweenMichaelandme.Hisscowlreturned.I

couldn’t have that. I needed to make him smile again. It was one of the most beautiful things about

him.

Assoonasthepersonclearedthecorner,IturnedtoMichael.“Comeon.I’llmakeyoudinner.”

Thatgrabbedhisattention.“Youcancook?”

“Shityeah,Icancook.I’mnotwatchingGuyFierifornothin’.”

“Ithoughtyouwatchedhimbecauseyouthinkhe’shot.”

Isnortedandraisedaneyebrow.“Hot?Not.Cute,maybe.Ifabigbleachedblondporcupinecanbe

called cute.” I put my arm around Michael’s shoulders. “But you know what they say, the way to a

man’sheartisthroughhisstomach.”

Hishalf-tiltedsmilepushedallmyhornybuttons.“Yeah,Ialreadyfiguredthatoutaboutyou.”

“Andsexyjockstraps,”Iwhisperednearhisear.

Heproddedmealong.“Getmoving,you.”

The next week passed in a series of daylong, body-bruising training sessions and hours long,

mind-numbing tactical talks. In between, at night, there were quiet interludes with Michael, and

sometimesnotsoquiet.

Hewasamoaner,ormaybethatwasme.

Oneeveningwesatonmycouch.HeflickedthroughnewschannelswhileIburiedmyfaceinA

StormofSwords,thethirdintheASongofFireandIceseries.

“Ican’tbelieveyou’rereadingthat.Whatisit,likeamillionpageslong?”

Finger-markingthepage,Islowlypushedmyglassesbackupthebridgeofmynoseandlistened

toMichael’sshudderinginhale.Yeah,theglassesstillturnedhimon.

“NotthatI’mcomplaining.Sexyhotbooknerd,”hemumbled.

Thebookdrovemenuts.OneplottwistturnedintoanotheruntilIthoughtI’dneedtotakenotesto

keeptrack.Istilltotallylovedtheseries.WheneverIread,IkeptmyiPhonehandysoIcouldmessage

Anyaeverywildandweirddetailthatcaughtmyattention.NottomentionMr.Martinhadahabitof

killingoffmaincharactersleft,right,andcenter.Themanhadsomeseriousballs.

“Whatareyoutalkingabout?”Closingthebook,IturnedonthecouchtowardMichael.“You’rea

freakin’bookhoarder.”

“Hey,them’sfightingwords.”Hereachedovertograbafistfulofmyhair,yankingithard.

HeknewIgotoffonthat.Iimmediatelygroaned.Okay,soIwastheloudone.Graspingtheback

ofmyneck,hepulledmeintoalush,toe-curling,spine-tinglingkiss.Thenheedgedback.

Dirtytease.

“IlikeDanBrown,thrillers,stufflikethat.Page-turners.Notlongsagayawn-fests.”

“Can’thelpit.I’vealwayslovedthisstuff.Fantasy.LotR—”

Hewrinkledhisnoseatme.

Ipushedhimontheshoulder.“LordoftheRings,dude.Whatthefuck?”

“Sexybooknerd,”hemumbledagain,grinning.

“TerryPratchett.”Icontinued.

“Terrywhatchit?”

“You better watch it,” I threatened. “I guess it’s because I’ve lived a fantasy in my own head for

abouthalfmylife.”

Michaelstoppedteasingmeandeasedcloser.“Afantasyofwhat?”

Settingthebookaside,Ilookeddownatmyhands.“AnormallifewhereIdon’thavetohidewho

IamorwhatIwant.”

ChapterTwenty-Four

TotallyOwned

“OH,LIAM.”CRADLINGMYfaceinhishands,Michaelkissedmesofterandslowerthanheever

haduntilIthoughtmaybeIcouldhavethatfantasylife.Withhim.

On another night, we watched a gay flick from the ’90s—some Scottish film about a repressed

gaypriest,aptlycalledPriest.Thesexualundertonesdrovemecrazy.Michaelsittingbesidemewith

hislegoverlappingmine,hishandbrushingupanddownmythigh,didn’thelpmattersatall.

Weweretakingourrelationshiponestepatatime.Itwassweetandwonderful,buttheslowbuild

causedsomeserioussexualtension,andIwasn’tsurehowmuchmoremyachingcockcouldendure.

Gettingmoreandmoreedgyandhorny,Ifinallypausedthemovieandstoodtoadjustmyself.

Michaellickedhislips.“Needahand?”

I needed more than a damn hand. I needed his mouth or his ass or him in my ass. “I’ll be right

back.”

“Don’tjackoffwithoutme,”hecalledafterme.

Iwasn’tgoingtojerkoffatallanymoreunlessIusedhisfisttodoit.Noworriesaboutthat.Inmy

bedroom, I unearthed a small wrapped package from my dresser. Returning to the living room, I

tossedthepresenttoMichael.

Catchingitwithathleticease,helookedupinsurprise.“It’snotmybirthday.”

“Noshit.”

“Someone’sgrumpy.”

“Horny.”

“Oh.”Hismouthovaledjustlikeitwouldwhenwrappedaroundmycock,whichithadn’tbeen,

yet.

“Openit.”

Sittingbesidehim,Istrainedinsidemyclothes.Ifuckingshiveredinsidemyownflesh.Andwhy

hadI paused thegoddamn movie duringthe sex scene thatshowed the twoguys clenching hands at

whathadtobethemomentofcoming?

Icouldn’tnottouchMichael.Ilickedalonghisstrongjawline,runningmypalmoverhischest.I

wasrewardedwhenhishandsshookashetriedtotearthepaperoffhispresent.Eventually,hepulled

outtheskimpiestpairofwhitebriefsimaginable.I’dboughtthemthedayafterhe’dmademecome

forthefirsttimewhilehesatonhiscouchinthatPropertyofL.S.jockstrap.

Iwasatotalromanticlikethat.

Hisfingertipstrailingoverthesilkymaterial,hegotawickedgleaminhiseyes.“Soyoudidlike

thejockstrap.”

Ididn’tlikeit.Ilovedit.I’dwantedtognawaholerightthroughittogetathim.Istilldid.

“Put’emon,”Iordered.

Hedidn’tsayanotherword,standingtodivesthisclothes.Buthedidn’tripthemoffinhaste,no,

he tormented me until my cock jumped and my breath jetted. First, he took off his shirt. It was a

button-down.Everyslipofbuttonthroughholemademethinkofhisfingerinsidemyhole.Myass

throbbedinresponse.Withhischestbaredafterflickingthefabricaside,herolledhisshouldersin

suchasensualmoveIgaspedouthisname.

Mypalmsgotdamp.Mymouthdriedup.Myeyelidsdidn’tblinkforasinglesecondashepulled

offhisshorts,revealingnothingbutthick,hardcockunderneath.AperfectVcuthisupperbodyfrom

shoulders to pelvis, and his broad legs supported the kind of ass that wouldn’t quit when he turned

aroundtodrawtheboybikinisuphisthighs.

“Jesus.You’regonnakillme,Mikey.”

His silver-gray eyes, his flushed cheeks, his mussed-up blond curls and the dusting of platinum

bodyhair...theerectcockinsidethetiniestwhiteshorts...myhipsjerkedoftheirownaccord.

TherewasnothingprintedorstitchedonthefrontofthebriefsbecauseIdidn’twantanythingto

hindermyviewofhisraginghard-on.Thebackwasadifferentstory.ThisAssBelongstotheChamp

wasprintedoverhistautcheeksinboldblackletterswithaboxingglovebeneath.

Pushinghispertbuttrightinmyface,Michaelasked,“Areyousayingyouwanttofistme?”

Iwasveryclosetocomingwithoutevenbeingtouched.Itriedtodenythenaughtyideaoffisting

him,butnowordscameout,onlyahungrylowgrunt.

Swinginghisheadaround,hesawmyreaction.Heranhispalmsoverhisassandbetweenhislegs

wherehistesticlescrowdedthealmost-sheerfabric.“BecauseI’mnotaversetothatidea.”

“Holy fuck.” My hands went to his backside, and I kneaded him. I squeezed hard and lightly

spanked and drew my palm down to where his balls bounced. “You want me all the way inside you

likethat,don’tyou?”

Hegrindedagainstmyhands.“Notnow,butit’ssomethingtoworkupto.”

Oh,God.

Ifrozemidmotionbecauseonemorewordfromhimoronemoretouchonhisroundass,andI

wouldnotbeheldresponsibleforanydirtyfilthyideasthatcameoutofmymouth.

TryingtostaveoffimagesofMichaelridingmydick,myfingers,myhand,Iclosedmyeyesand

thoughtofanythingtodeflatemycock.ApparentlythatincludedDevlin.Notsurprisingly,itworked

likeacharm.

I hadn’t told Michael I thought Devlin was onto us. Dev had noticed how much time we spent

together.Hewasn’tstupid.ItwasoneofthereasonsI’dhiredhim.Devdidn’tsayanythingoutloud

either, which was so not true to his usual mouth-flapping routine I was worried. The only thing he

mentionedwasgettingAnyabackintowntokeepaclosereinonme.

WhenIopenedmyeyesagain,prettymuchnothingcouldreinmein.Stillinthetinybriefs,still

wagglinghisass,Michaelcausedanonslaughtoflusttoriptiderightthroughmybody.

Fuckit.

Igrabbedhiships,yankedhimback,andhissed,“Sitonmylapfortherestofthemovie.”

“Ohyeah?”Likethis,whenweweretogetherwithnooneelsearound,Michaelwasmischievous,

playful,myownpersonalwetdream.

Myeyesrolledbackwhenhedidaslightshift-grindonmylap.Inippedhisshouldertokeephim

stillandhittheplaybuttonforthemovie.Notsurprisingly,Ididn’twatchasingleminuteoftherest

ofPriest.IwastoofocusedonMichael’sassonmycrotchandmybonerstretchingupbehindhim.

Thezipperraspedmylengthbeneathmyjeans,addingtothethrobbingarousal.Thentherewasthe

line of sweet tiny freckles dotting his back from one broad shoulder to the other. I licked one.

Another.Andanother.

Michael’smusclesflexed,buthedidhisyoga-breathingthing,whichfranklyamusedme.Asifhis

cockwasn’tashardandhewasn’tasneedyasme.

Iranmyhandsuphissideswherehislatsfannedwide,lightlyticklinghim.Igraspedhisbiceps

andsuckedonthebackofhisneck.

HepretendedIwasn’tgropinghimlikeahornyteenager.Good.Icouldfuckaroundwithhimall

nightlong,justlikethis.Mysexytraineronmylap,almostnakedandupforsomefilthyforeplay.

Wehadn’thadsexyet—Godonlyknewwhywepunishedourselveslikethis.ButIlikedthelong

tease—in a sick masochistic kind of way. We were building something more than just raw fucking.

Although,Ihadtoadmit,mypatiencewiththeflirtingandtouchingworethin,andmycockwasabout

towearaholethroughmyjeans.

I gathered Mikey felt the same way because he got really strung up when I reached across the

couchformycellasitchimedwithanincomingmessage.ItwasGideon.Hetextedtosayhe’dbought

anXbox.Ismiledandsenthimamessageback.

Michaelsawitall.Hemovedoffmylap.

“Gideon?”

“Heaskedmewhenwecouldplaygamestogetheragain.”

Michael’seyesflippedtomine,andtheywerehard.“Iknowwhatkindofgameshewantstoplay

withyou,Liam.”

“Right.Becausegamingleadstosex.Getbackoverhereandsitwithme.”

“ItoldyouthefirsttimeIsawyouwithhimhe’shotunderthecollarforyou.”

And then the truth hit me like a sledgehammer. Michael was still jealous. I shouldn’t have been

thrilled,butIwas.

“Whythehellareyoulaughing?”Heglaredatme.

I stifled a snort. “You’re jealous. I could’ve had him weeks ago if I wanted, but I don’t. I want

you.”Leaningforward,IruffledMichael’shair.“Andyou’refuckingcutewhenyou’reangry.”

Justaskmycockasitdancesinmypants.

“CanyouatleastturnhisgoddamnpaintingaroundwhenI’mhere?”hesnarled.

Ohyeah,thatpainting.

FinallyMichaelmentionedthecanvashangingonmylivingroomwall.

He jumped to his feet and glared at it. I followed right behind him. The skin on his back was

smootherthananythingI’deverfelt.Hiserection—whenIpeeredoverhisshoulder—washarderthan

ever.AndtherewasthestampofChamponhisass.

“Youmakemeinsane,sweetheart.”Iwrappedmyarmsaroundhim,trappinghimagainstme.

Hearchedintome,buthedidn’tmelt,notlikeIneededhimto.“I’llbeonmedssoonbecauseof

you.”

“No,youwon’t,becauseIcantakecareofallyourneeds.”Iclosedmylipsaroundhisearlobe.

Hewhimpered.

ThecordsofhisnecktensedwitheachsuckingpullIsentdownthesideofhisthroat.Imovedmy

hand over his torso, each finger drifting into and around the divides of his deeply cut muscles. I

tickledthroughhisblondtreasuretrailtocuphiscockinapowerfulgrip.Hefeltheavyandhotinmy

hand.

Lickingtheshellofhisear,Istrokedhimthroughthetinybikinis,runningmyfingertipsoverthe

wideningwetspot.

Michaelbracedhislegsandthrustintomytouch.

“I bought this painting because it reminds me of our brief”—I slid my hand inside the tiniest

underwear imaginable—“very brief”—my strokes along his shaft were firm and fast—“hot, so

fucking hot”—I sunk a blunt fingernail into his hot little piss slit, listening to him whistle a breath

betweenhisteeth—“shower.”

BythetimeIfinishedtalking,Michaelstoodonhistiptoes,straininginmyembrace.

“Oh,shit,”hegasped.

Asoakingwashofsexyprecomeeruptedfromhim,andIquicklypulledmyhandawaybeforehe

camealltheway.

“SoIcankeepthepainting?”

Michaelwasallsoftlips,harshstubble,smoothtonguewhenhepulledmymouthtohis.Thekiss

wentonforeverasIclenchedhiships,rubbingagainsthim.

Heturnedinmyarms.“Ifyougetmeoffrightnow,yeah.”

“Onlyifyoucomeinmymouththistime.”

“Thatwon’tbeaproblem.”HiskisswaswetandfullofwantasIpalmedhimthroughthebright

whitebriefs.

“Take’emoff,”Igrufflysaid,slidingonefingeraroundthewaistbandonhisleanhips.

Isteppedbacktotakeinmyfillofhim.Snappingthebriefsdown,hehookedtwothumbsatthe

sidesandshimmiedthemoff.Whenhestood,hiscockslappedagainsthisabdomen.Itarchedslightly

outfromhisgroinbeforetheheadrestedrightbelowhisbellybutton.Thatheadwasreddish,slick,

andhisentireshaftlookedshinyandunyielding.Icouldn’twaittogetmymouthonhim.

Idroppedtomyknees.Iflungoffmyshirt.Ibenttostartallthewaydownathisfeet—hisinsteps,

hiscalves.Ileanedaroundtosuckandticklethebacksofhisknees.

Michael’shuskylaughterpulledmygazetohis.“Youteasingbastard.”

Islantedalust-filledgrinathim.Iwasn’tgoingforthefullmealbeforeItriedeverythingonthe

menu.Usingmypalmsonhisinnerthighstospreadthemwider,Iheardhisthroatymoantumbleout.

Thecreasebetweenhismassivelegsandhisgroin,thatwaswhatIwanted.Ilickedbothsides,upand

downthemuscularindentoffleshuntilhisheadfellbackandhisbreathcamefast.

OnlywhenMichaeltrembledandhishandsdraggedintomyhair,onlywhenhiseyesopenedto

find mine with such yearning, did I take him in my hand. He bit into his lip, and then his mouth

dropped open. Nothing came out but a low groan. I dipped my tongue into his slit, taking away the

diamond-dropofclearliquid.

HislargecockheadfilledtheopeningofmymouthasIsmoothedmylipsontohim.Ididn’tgo

any farther. I moved nothing but my tongue, circling around and around, occasionally tickling the

sensitiveareawherehiscrownmettheshaft,makingapinkinvertedheartshapeoftissue-likeflesh

onhiscuttool.Imassagedmytonguedownhislengththendrewoneofhispouchesintomymouth.

Heshoutedmyname.

Awyeah.Irepeatedthatmoveonhisotherballuntilbothtightened.AfterI’drepeatedlyrappedthe

flatofmytongueagainstthefleshymusclewherehisballsmethisbase,Iaddedaslickpull-twist-turn

totheflaredheadofhiscock.

Michael pushed me away. A misty sheen of sweat glowed on his body, and my lips felt

cocksucking-awesomeswollen.

“Bedroom.Bed.Now,”herasped.

ChapterTwenty-Five

MikeyLikesIt

I SCRAMBLED OFF MY knees and after him. He stepped out of the briefs that dangled around his

ankles because I’d neglected to take them all the way off. I thought he looked hot with something

tetheringhisanklestogether.Sueme.

At the sound of my zipper biting through metal teeth, Michael turned around to watch as he

continuedwalking.Hiscockbobbedinfrontofhim,andIwasdog-leash-bitch-in-heatrightafterhim.

Onthewaydownthehall,Idroppedmyjeans.Hebeckonedmeintothebedroom.

Flickingonthelight,helookedaroundforasecondbeforehisrazor-sharpgazezeroedinonme.

“I’llexplorelater.”

Ipushedhimontothebed.HehadenoughtimetobounceoncebeforeIpouncedbetweenhislegs

togetbacktomyblowjob.

Michaelstoppedme.“No.”

My dick was practically taking on its own life form with every curt word he said. Who knew I

wantedMichaeltotakeabsolutecontroloverme?Ohyeah,me.

“No?”

Hemuscledmeontopofhimandspunmebacktofrontuntilmykneesrestedbesidehisheadand

myfacewascenteredonhisgroin.“No.You’regoingtofuckmymouth,andI’mgoingtoexplodein

yours,baby.”

Brainsplosion.

And oh joy of joys, there was a full-length mirror on my closet door. Tomorrow? First work

orderofthedaywasmovingthatmotherfuckertotheceilingabovemybed.Screwtheworkouts.

WhatIsawreflectedbackatmemadememindless.Michael—blond,tanned.Me—slightlylarger

and dark-haired. Well-hung, well-built, earning a living from our bodies-type-of-men in classic 69

position.Shit,Iwantedtomakeavideomyself.

And that was the last of my thinking because Michael gripped his dick and tapped it against my

panting mouth. In the next instant, he had my cock hanging over his wide-open lips. He kissed me

down there the same way he always did on my mouth—with deepest hunger and long lunges of

tongue,exceptthistimeitwasmyshaftheFrenchedalmostallthewaydowntotheroot.

Ishoutedhisname,archingmyback,shamelesslyofferingmyselftohim.

Suckinginshudderingbreaths,Ilookedatthemealbeforeme.Glintinggoldenpubes,lowhung

sac.Everythingtidiedandhistightasscheekspulledup.I’dhadhisdick.Iwantedhistaint.Thatlittle

bridgeofmusclebetweenhisballsandhisbackside.Ipressedmythumbdownonithard.

Hesuckedmeevendeeper,whimperingaroundme.

Ah,fuck.

IslowlystrokedMikey’scockwhilegorgingmyselfonhisdam.Iswirled,sucked,andtastedthat

firmmusclebetweenhissacandhispucker.Rearingup,Igaspedforairwhenheclenchedmyassand

drovemeinlonghardthrustsallthewayintohisthroat.

Iangledmyhipstohumpbetweenhislips,thenIopenedmymouthaswideasIcould.Thebroad

tipofhiscockenteredmymouth,butIwouldn’tclosemylipsaroundhim.Iwantedtohearhimplead

forme.Islippedhiminandoutasmysalivadrippeddownhispole.Mytonguewastheonlypartof

mymouththatmadecontactwithhim.

Hislowgroansbecamethroatykeens.

“Suckme.Suckme.Please,”Michaelbegged.

Oh yeah. I swooped down, tightened my lips, and crushed my nose to his balls. I stilled,

swallowed, and moaned when I felt his reaction. Michael pumped inside my mouth. He throbbed,

grewevenlarger,andblastedmewithvolleysofcome.Ipulledbackuntilthepulsingvolcanospray

landedonmytongue.Hotsemensplashedinsidemymouthashehungontothebacksofmythighs.

Hekeptcomingwithasilenthowlbeforecryingoutandwrithingbetweeneachseizeofhisbody.

I hoped he wasn’t one of those guys who got too sensitive after they came, because I had every

intentionofspendingtheentirenightwithmyfacebetweenhislegsandmymouthstuffedfullofhim.

Atleastthiswasonepieceofmeathecouldn’ttakeoffthemealplan.

Hesoftenedjustabit,enoughtomakemesmilewithatender,gentlefeeling.Sucklingthedripsof

milk-whitefluidfromhisbody,Itookhiminsidemymouthagain.

AssoonasMichaelrecovered,heundulatedhisheadupanddownalongme.Theheatedcavernof

hismouthandthroattookmedeep.

Ibowedmyhead.Hissedthroughmyteeth.Igrippedhisthighs.

Liftingup,Isatonhisface.

Iheldhisneckinmyhandashegluggedonmycock.“Tellmetostopifit’stoomuch.”

Heshookhishead,hismouthtoofullofmetospeak.

I rose up to my knees. My cock glistened, distended, as it escaped his mouth. Michael gasped. I

leanedoverhimandkissedhimwithmytonguecurlingaroundhis.

Hepushedmeontomybackjustbeforehepounced.“Readyformore?”

Ididn’thavetimetoanswer.Icouldn’thaveanyway.Iwasdone-forthesecondMikeydippedhis

tongueinsidemystretchedtightforeskin.

“Holyfuck!”Isqueezedthebaseofmycockinhopesofstavingoffmyorgasm.

Thestaggeringsensationofhistonguespearingbetweenmyhardcockheadanditsextendedskin

mademedrivemyskullbacktothebed.

Every muscle in my body drew tight as he teased and tasted and lipped my foreskin. I was

sweating,shaking,swearing.

Ionlyletgooftherootofmyshaftwhenhedeep-throatedme.Hishotpassagethrobbedaround

me,thenhislipsmovedfarther.Theynestledmyballs.Scorchingheatstartedinthesolesofmyfeet.

Icrumpledthebedspreadinmyfists.

Myneckcranked.

Mylegsspread.

Igoddamnfuckingwhined.“Oh.OH!”

Thatlastsemi-coherentthoughtgotshotalltoshitwhenhethrustaspit-slickedthumbintomyass.

Thedaminsidebroke.Afloodofheatsurgedupmylegsandthroughoutmyassuntilitblastedoutof

mycockandstraightintohisgulpingmouth.Myhipsrolledforeverandeveragainsthismouth,and

Michaeljustkepttakingit,takingme.Herubbedmythighsuntilfinallythehotripplingcontortions

ofmyorgasmslowed.

Comingupforair,Michaelkissedmeonmychinandcollapsedagainstme.

“Fuck me.” I splayed one hand over his heaving back and threw an arm across my face. I was

done.Forever.Oratleastfivemoreminutes.“Thefuckdidyoujustdotome,Mikey?”

“EverythingIeverwantedto.”

Drawing him against me, I lifted my eyelids partway. “Me, too. Everything.” I nudged my toes

againsthis.“Withyou.”

Hours later, after snuggling and snoozing, Michael lifted up beside me. He ran his fingertips

down my face. He kissed my lips, just a soft brush that lingered. In silence, he padded around my

apartment,gatheringhisclothes.Indarkness,heputthemon.Ifollowedhimtothedoor.

Thistimetherewerenorecriminations,justtheterrible,terrifyingfeelingofwantingmorethanI

couldhave.Myheartwentsluggishandcold.

“Liam,Iwanttostaythenight,someday.”Onthethreshold,withhisheadangleddown,Michael

wouldn’tlookatme.

Itiltedhischinsohemetmygaze.“Oneday,youwill.Ipromise.”

I kissed him with all the yearning, the years of longing, the desperation to have him out in the

open, in front of everyone. When I didn’t have to say goodbye. When I could say goodnight to my

loverandknowhe’dbeinmyarmsinthemorning.

Michaelwalkeddownthehushedhallwaytotheelevator,andhisshouldersslumped.

ChapterTwenty-Six

NakedMMA

SEVERALNIGHTSLATER,WEhadthegayguytalk.Thebottom-toptalk.Onlyreallyitwasmore

likesexywarfare—ornakedMMA.AndreallyI’dletMichaelsplitmyasswideopenwithhiscock,

exceptIdidn’twanthimtothinkIwascheapandeasy.EventhoughforhimIwascompletelycheap

andeasy.

My fight with Jones looming near, every day of training and tactics became more and more

gruelingandtaxing.Everyonethoughttheyhadagreatnewideaforme.Everyone—Sean,Dev,shit,

eventhejanitorsatthegym—threwintheirtwocentsworth.Myprogresswasfollowedmoreclosely

thantheprimarycampaignsclogginguptheairwaves.

Finally,Michaeltossedeveryoneoutofthegym,switchedoffourphones,lockedthedoors,and

closedusin.Fatlotofgoodthatdidmyconcentration.Itried.Ireallydid.Buthourafterhourofjab,

hook,jump,bounce,hit,block...worethroughthetightcontrolI’dhadovermyself.

Besides, Michael sweaty, determined, and single-minded while we were all alone? Sexy as fuck.

Bythetimewegottocooldownyoga,IwassoonfireforhimIcouldn’tseestraight.

As I moved into downward dog position, bent over at the waist and balanced on my fingertips,

Michaelshiftedinbehindme.Ihissedwhenhegrindedagainstmyupturnedass.

“Howdoyoulikeyoganow,baby?”

Grittingmyteeth,Ipumpedback.Inthisposition,myasswasspread.Iwasathismercy.Ifelthim

throughourdampclothes,strainingagainstmycleft.

“Hmm?”Hebentathiskneesthenslowlyrosetofullystanding.

Hishardshafttraveledalongmysensitivetrench.

Ialmostshotmyloadalloverthemat.

Whenheeasedaway,Ijumpedup.

I grabbed a handful of his hair and pulled his face to mine. “I’m a huge fucking fan of yoga,

sweetheart.”

Slammingmymouthtohis,Iheldhimagainstme.Ididn’tletgoofhishair.Itwisteditharderso

hetiltedhishead.Hismoantumbledintomymouth.Itracedhistonguewithmineandwithdrewwitha

harshbreath.

Ilethimgoabruptlyandstrodefromtheroom.

“Whereareyougoing?”hecalledout.

“Shower.Clothes.Home.Ifyouknowwhat’sgoodforyou,you’lldothesame.Pronto.Ineedyou.

Ineedyounaked.AndIneedyouinprivate.Now.”

Icleanedupinahurryandrushedout.BythetimeMichaelrangmydoorbell,Iwasreadytoroll

over and beg him to fuck me. Our clothes were torn off in record time, and we stumbled, wrapped

aroundeachother,tothesofa.

SomehowIendedupinMichael’slapagain.Naked,again.Sowashe.Ijustcouldn’tmakemyself

careenoughtofliphimover,notwhenhismouthtrailedtonguesofflamesallovermyneckandears,

andhishandswanderedeverywhereelse.

It felt like he had ten hands. Ten incredibly talented hands to go with his ten insanely nimble

fingers. Loosely stroking my cock in long sweeps. Pinching my nipples, then thumbing them into

hardpeaks.Grippingmyupperthighssohisfingertipsteasedthehotswellsofmyballs.

Breakingawayfromhisdevouringkiss,Igroaned.“I'veneverbeenfuckedintheass.”

“Wherehaveyoubeenfucked?”Everysecondweweretogether,slidingagainsteachotheronthe

couch,hisvoiceloweredandhiseyesgleamed.

“Inthemouth.”

“Inthissweetmouthhere?Bymorethanme?”Hebrushedhisbusyfingersacrossmytrembling

lips.

Inodded.

“Butyouknowthismouthisminenow,”headded.

“Yes.”Icouldbarelybreathewhenhisthumbdippedinside,andIsuckeditlikeIwantedtosuck

hiscockthatthumpedagainstmythigh.

“Soyou’reatop.”

Anotherlamenodfrommebecausemymouthjustwouldn’tfunctionotherthantogivethevery

bestblowjobpossibletohisthumb.

“Iliketotop,too.”Hissmilewasplayful.

“Hmm.” That was all I managed because thoughts of him pinning me down and filling me

overruledallotherideas,includingthefactIwantedtoscrewhimuntilhewalkedwithalimp.

“Ialsowanttohaveyourthickcockramminginsideme.”

Mygroancameoutmorelikeahigh-pitchedsquealofexcitement.Mycockalmostdidavictory

marchintohisholeofitsownaccord.

“Andyoureallylikethatidea,don'tyou?”heasked.

Lavingtheroughpadofhisfingeronelasttime,Ipoppeditfreeofmypantingmouth.“Yeah.”

“Maybewecouldworksomethingout.”Michaeldrewhiswetthumbalongmyshaft.

Hecircledthebell-shapedheadseveraltimesuntilIhunchedforward.

“I'vebeenstretchingmyself,”Ihoarselywhispered.

Perchedonhisthighs,Ipressedmybottomout.Ifeltwantonandslutty.Ilovedit.

Hisheadknockedback.“What?”

His hand slid over my hip and along my cheeks. One of his fingers rotated around my hole,

tappingandteasing.

“Getting my ass ready.” I swiveled my backside but his finger only toyed with my flesh, barely

touchingtheneedyplaceIwantedhimtothrustinto.

“Forme?”

“Ihopeso.”

“JesusChrist.Withwhat?”Finallyhisfingerrestedfullyagainstme.

Hestrummedmypuckerwithupanddownsweepsthatmademythighsquiver.

“Adildo,”Irasped.

Michael’seyespoppedwide.“OhGod,youkinkyfuck.Ihavetoseethis.Wereyouthinkingabout

me,baby?”

“Yeah.”

“Gogetit.Now.”Bothofhishandsclenchedmyass,kneadingandrubbing.

“Thebigoneorthelittleone?”

“The—”Moreeye-bugging-outensued.Hereleasedalongchoppyexhale.“Bigone.Getthebig

one.”

Ifumbledoffhislegs.Iracedtothebedroomandtippedthetopdrawerofmydresserontothe

floor.Afterscramblingforthelube,thedildo,Ihurriedback.

Michaelhadmovedtotheruginfrontofthecouch.Hiscockbobbedbetweentwotightfists,anda

look of pure erotic agony painted his features. He watched me as I lowered in front of him on my

spreadknees.Athickdollopofclearprecomedrippedfromthetipofhishugepole,andhemoaned

asitdrizzledoverhisknuckles.

Hisfeetarched.Hisbackbowed.

Heheldhismeatinastrangleholdashegrindedhisteethtogether.“That’sit?”

“Yeah.”Iranthetipoftherubbery,flesh-tonedandheavilyveinedshaftuptheinsideofmythigh.

Itcametorestinthefurrowofmyass.

“Aw,fuck,baby.I’mnotgoingtolast.”Hisstomachhollowedashefoughtoffhisclimax.“Show

mehowyou’dgetreadyformetofuckyou.”

Myblackpubeswerealreadycoatedinpreejaculate.WhenIdippedthelubebottleagainstthebase

ofmycock—thecoolliquidtricklingdownmyballstopoolatmypucker—Ibecamethoroughlywet.

ThemusclesinMichael’sforearmsstrained.

Using the head of the fake cock to saturate my entrance with the lube, I rose up on my knees,

moaning like a two-dollar stud. I slid my hand up the inside of my thigh and pointed one finger

towardmyentrance.

Michael’sdicklookedhardandhotenoughtobrandme.

Inchingmyfingerforward,Islowlyslippeditinside.Bendingmyknuckle,Ifoundmygland.

Michael came as soon as I gasped in pleasure. Ropes of seed sped from him as he arched and

groaned.Ihadtwofingersin,twistingandpumping,bythetimehiseyesopenedagain.Withhishand

coveredincome,hestrokedhimselftonewhardness.

“Fuck those fingers, Liam.” He grabbed the back of my neck, meshing our panting mouths

together.

WhenIwascompletelyopenandready,Ireachedforthedildo.Myeyesrolledbackwhenitsgirth

startedfillingme.Ishookwiththestretching,thetightening,theslicknessofitall.

Michaelsworeloudly.

Thefakecockwassowell-oiled,thesoundofmyassslurpingitinwasalmostasmuchofaturn

onasthesightofMichael’sfacewhenIopenedmyeyes.

Hestaredlikeastarvingmanatmyasstakingthefatdildo.

Ileanedbackononehandandundulatedmyassontotheprick,drivingmyselfhigher.Itfeltso

good.Sonasty.IcontinuedtodrillmyassasIsnuckthreefingertipsupanddownmyshaft.Ididn’t

wanttocomeyet.IwantedittobuildandbuilduntilMichaelbecameincoherentwatchingme.

He gasped and grunted. He leaned over to suck my cock for a second and then backed off,

grinning.Hewashardagain,leakingagain.Andhishandsroamedallovermybody.

“Iwanttodoitforyou.”Hisvoicewasgritty.

Isatupstraightandletgo,hunkeringontheballsofmyfeet.Mymusclesshook.Mybodyached,

andthecenterpointwasmyass.

Michael took over. He slapped the entire length against my slippery trench several times. He

tonguedmynipples.Hebitmylipsandsqueezedmyneckandthenherammedthedildohome.

Holleringhisname,Irolledmyhipsdown.

“Yeah,baby.Fuckyourselfforme.”

There was no shame or fear. All I felt was a skin-tightening sensation all over my body as he

thrust the wet dildo in and out of me. His free hand skimmed my body. My muscles jerked as my

breathgustedout.Heassaultedmyasswithforcefulpumps.

Michaelstaredatmygreedyassswallowingthedildooverandoveragain.Whenherosetohis

knees, I watched through deep-lidded eyes. His cock reared against his belly, the head taut and

glistening.Myowncockdancedagainstmyabs.

Heclosedhisfingersoverme,andthatwasallittook.Icamesohardthedildolodgedinsidemy

clenching ass. I saw fireworks, stars. My body rippled, froze. I tried to yell. My breath stuck in my

throat,andIwasonthatplateaucaughtbetweentheedgeofreleaseandcomingbeforeIgaspedina

breath,sentoutashout,andblastsofcomepeltedfrommycock.

IonlyregainedawarenesswhenMichaelscoopedupmycome.Heslathereditoverhiscock.On

hisknees,bendingoverme,hejerkedoff.Itwasfast,hot,savage.Heletlooseonmyshaftandballs

witharoar,coatingmeinhiscome.

Hecollapsedontopofmewithalowchuckle.“Fuckme.”

“Iwould,butIcan’tmove.”

ThenextdayImetMichaelintheelevator,goingdown.Goingdown.ThatwasjustwhatIwanted

todotohim.

Hesmirked.Igrinned.

Several more people packed in, pushing us together. He cupped my ass in his hand in the back

corneroftheelevator.Hisfingersmovedtomysac.Hisbreathscatteredacrossmyneckbeforehe

spoke.

“Devlin ordered me to the municipal airport.” He ran a hand to my front and I shoved closer

againsthim.

“Metoo.”Ipartedmylegsandhedraggedhisthighrightbetweenthem.“Somesortofsurprise.

ButIbetmine’sbetter.”

Hiskneebuttedagainstmyballs.“Isthatso?”

“Yeah.”

Theelevatordidn’temptyuntilthegroundfloor.Thenmyteam—thebulkypairofunnecessary

bodyguards—hustledusintoanSUV.

Ihadn’tgottenthechancetosaygoodnighttoMichaelafterthedildo-festbecausewe’dpassedout

onmylivingroomfloor.Afterward,whileIwasstillinla-la-land,he’dsnuckout.Icouldn’twaitfor

thedaywe’dbeabletowakeupinthesameplace,inthesamebed,together.

I couldn’t say anything now, because of the bodyguards in the front seat. Instead, I captured

Michael’shandontheseatbetweenus,briefly,beforelettingitgo.

Isawhissmileinthereflectionofthewindow.

HissmilefadedassoonastheSUVparked.

Devlinrushedmeoutoftheback.“Finally.Whatthefucktookyousolong?”

Asusualhetalkedamileaminuteasheusheredmeintotheairportterminal.AllIheardwaswah

wahwahAnyawahwahwahPR.MichaelhungbackasDevpushedmethroughthebackdoorsonto

thetarmac.

“Youain’tbeenseenwithaladyrecently,andafterthepressconference,buddy-boy,weneedto

buffyouup.MakenicewithAnyaforthecameras,see?”Devlinfishedhisphonefromhispocketand

gotonhiscontactslistashepushedmetowardthejust-landedairplane.

IscurriedupthestepstomeetAnya.WhenIgreetedher,itwasn’twithfakeaffection.Mygirlwas

on speed dial. I’d missed her, like a sister. I took her hand to lead her down the gangplank. At the

bottomshehuggedme.Camerasflashed.Thepaparazzishoutedquestionstoaperfectlymade-upand

veryprettyAnya.

Totallyaprofessional,shelaughedoffeverything,exclaiming,“MyEenglish,notsogood!”

Michaeldidn’tlaughitoff.Notonebit.Hestoodtothesideasstiffasacardboardcutout.Asifhe

hadn’thadhiscockinmymouthandfuckedmewithadildoohsorecently.Nowaycouldhestillbe

jealousofAnya.

“Howdoesitfeeltohaveyourgirlfriendbackbyyourside,BonnyBruiser?”

“Lookslikefriendswithbenefits,”onepaparazzoheckled.

I gritted my teeth and bared the barrage of innuendos they flung at us even though I wanted to

denyitonemoretime.Devlinhadhissharkeyesonme.

“Wetalkallthetime.Isn’tthattrue,LoveMunchkin?”Anyabentforwardtokissmycheek.

LoveMunchkin?

“IwatchWizardofOz,”shewhisperedagainstmyear.

“Sonowyou’recomparingmetothelittlepeople?Iain’tthatlittle,”Igrowled.

“Da,I’vebeenwatchingtheclassics!”Shepinchedmybutt.

Amen,myfantasy-lovingsister.

“MaybeIshouldcallyoumysexyOompaLoompa?”

“I’m sure Dev would love that.” I nodded toward my manager, who looked pleased with my

performanceforonce.

“WhataboutyourMishka?”Anyaaskedinalowvoice.

Daringalookatmylover,Ishudderedathisthunderousexpression.“Well,he’spissed.”

“Hewantsyou,”shemurmured.

“He’shadme.”Ilookedjustsheepishenoughthepressprobablythoughtwewereengagedinan

intimateconversation.“Well,notalltheway,yet.”

“Blyat!YoudonotFaceTimemeaboutthis?”

“You were still in mourning over Khal Drogo. I didn’t wanna be insensitive to your pain.” I

winked.

Anyagavealightsmacktomyshoulder.Thenwemadefakekissyfacesatoneanotheragain.The

cameralensesateitup.AnyapressedagainstmewhileIcuppedherchin.

“Michael’sgonnabereallymadaboutthis,”Isaid.

“Imakegood.Yougo.”

Hand-in-handwewalkedtowardDev,andIdepositedAnyatohissafekeeping.Iwassureshehad

enough smarts to handle him, the cameramen, and the Russian space station, too, if given half a

chance.

Inararefitofmagnanimity,DevlintwirledAnyabacktomyarms.“Eh.Youtwogoahead.Liam

needstoblowoffsomesteambeforehisfightwithJones.”

He had no idea. Michael and I needed to ixnay the foreplay before I crawled out of my skin.

Meanwhile,Michaelfumedbythesideoftheairport,andDevlinwaitedformetotakeuphisofferof

Anyaforthenight.

Anyasmiledsublimely.“Idon’treallylikeLiamlikethat.Haven’tyouheard,GospodinDevlin?I

amlesbian.”

Sheworeaprettysmileforthecameras.

Devlookedlikehe’djustdroppedaloadinhispants.

ChapterTwenty-Seven

SexySoccerJock

IWALKEDAWAYFROMasmugAnyastandingnexttoaverydumbfoundedDevlin.Thatwasbound

tocomebackandbitemeintheass,butIwantedMichaelinmyassmore.

“Beforeyouevenask,I’mnothertype,”Isaid.

Hesnorted.

“She’salesbian.”

“What?”

“PickupyourpaceandcloseyourmouthbeforeDevcomesafterus.”

InthebackoftheblackSUVweheldawhisperedconversation.

“Whatdoyouwanttodo?”Michaelasked.

“You.”

Hepulledmecloserwithagrowl.

“I’ve got a surprise for you, like I said.” I barely breathed the words out, conscious of the two

guyssittingupfront.

“Moreundies?”

“Nope.Thistime,I’mwearingit.”

“Howfarawayarewe?”Hisfootpresseddownonthefloormatlikeitwasthegaspedal.

“Twentyminutes.”

“Ican’twaitthatlong.”

“I’mnotgoingtotouchyouuntilwe’rebothnaked,soIguessyou’llhaveto.”

We decided to meet up at Michael’s place after we got to the building in case Devlin decided to

invitehimselfovertominefortheass-chewingIknewwasheadedmyway.

Iwaitedtheregulationhalf-hoursoIdidn’tlookcompletelydesperate.Afterbreezingthrougha

shower,ashave,andintoacleansetofclothes,Icombedmyfingersthroughmyhair.

No surprise, my fingers trembled. By the time I slipped through Michael’s door, I was eager,

excited,alittlenervy.Andmycockhadbeenfullyhardsincewe’descapedfromtheairport.

Michael slinked down the hallway. Good goddamn, he’s gonna fuck me. I closed my eyes and

inhaled.WhenIlookedagain,hegavemealazygrinandasultrywink.Iwasreadytopounce,buthe

turnedawaywithafingercrookedatme.

Trying to play it as cool as he appeared to be, I sauntered after him to his bedroom. It was

midafternoon,buthe’dpulledtheshades,creatingacozylair.Itwasmyfirsttimeinhisroom,andthe

spaciousareawasdecoratedwiththesamerelaxedmasculinity,butreallyallIsawwasthebed.

Anditwasbig.

Joyofjoys.

ThenInoticedthecandleslitonhisdresserandnightstand.“Romantic.”

Easing behind me, Michael licked a trail up the side of my neck. “Wanted our first time to be

special.”

My heart did a crazy happy dance inside my chest. I turned in his hold, and he plunged right in

with a long kiss that made my eyelids slam shut and my fingers clamp on his ass. Breathless and

possiblycross-eyed,definitelytongue-tied,Isuckedonhisdeliciouslipsonelasttimebeforepulling

myheadback.

Hiseyeshadtheblurrylookofsomeonedoped-uponlust.Ilovedit.Istrokedmyfingersthrough

his hair, wondering at the soft curls and silky too-long locks. My breath slid along his jaw until I

madeittohisearwhereInippedandkissedhisearlobe.

“Tastesogood,”Isighed.

Hewasbusy,unbuttoningmyshirtfromtoptobottom.TurningmesoIwasbacktofrontagain,

hepeeledthegarmentfrommyshoulders.Istoodstill,enjoyinghissweepingcaressesthatwrought

chills upon my skin. His arms circling me, he held me against his body, moving with slow

undulationsofhiships.Hiserectionburnedagainstmyassbeneaththebarrierofbothourclothes.

Igaspedwhenheslidonehanddowntopalmmycock.Myeyespoppedwideattheroughstroke.

ThatwaswhenIspiedthetowelslaidoutonthebed.Ahotflushturnedmyskinalmostbrightpink.

“I’mnotgoingtomakethatmuchofamess,amI?”Myvoicecroaked.

Hislowchuckledidnewandunimaginablethingstomyachingdick.“Letmeindulgeinoneof

myfantasieswithyou.”

“Notthefistingthingalready?”Myvoicerosetogirly-pitch.

He laughed loudly and tugged me around. Cupping my face, he kissed away my worry, my

embarrassment.Hell,hekissedawayhigherbrainfunctioning,leavingmebreathlessandgrunting.

“Nofisting.Itoldyouthatwouldcomemuch,muchlater,ifwebothwantit.”Asolefingertraced

down my black treasure trail to the top of my pants. “Now, I’ve been patient enough. Show me this

surpriseofyours.”

“Ithinkyou’llhavetofindityourself.”Ibackedapaceawayandstoodwitharmsakimbo.

Growling with impatience, Michael took one of my sensitive nipples between his teeth as he

attackedmypants.Wanderingacrossmychestwithhislipsandtongue,henibbledtheotherside.My

zipperspreadbeneathhisfingersand,grabbingthebackofmyhead,hesunkhismouthtominefora

wet,hastykiss.Insidemypants,hecurledhispalmaroundmeandmoanedintomymouth.

Herippedfreewithaharshgasp.Aperfectpinkcolorstainedhischeeksandmadehisgrayeyesa

shadedarker.Withbothhands,hejerkedmypantsandbriefs,shoesandsocksoffinonefellswoop.

Standing back, he gazed at me with such heat his desire scorched my skin. My stiff cock stood

straightupagainstmystomach.Mymusclesrippledathiscontinuedinspection.Myballsjuggledin

theirlowsacaseverypartofmybodyscreamedforcontact.

“Where’smysurprise,Liam?”Hisvoicethrobbed.

“That’sasecret.”Iinhaledandheldmybreathwhenhiseyesflashed.

“Turn.”

I complied, immediately groaning when his hands coasted from my ankles to the backs of my

knees,uptomythighs.Hebrushedhislighttouchfrommyglutestomyshouldersandbackdownmy

spine.

“You’llhavetolookcloser.”Ispreadmyassopenforhim.

Peeringovermyshoulder,Iwatchedhimkneelbehindme.

“Oh,youdirtylittledevil.”Onefingertipfollowedthecreaseofmyassuntilitfoundandpushed

onthesilverplugsetfirmlyinsideme.

“Whoareyoucallinglittle?”Mydickwasbiggerthanit’deverbeenbefore.

Michael didn’t answer other than to curse. The side of his hand slid from my balls to the plug,

whichhepushedharder.

Bending forward, I braced my hands on his bed as bone-deep tremors quaked from inside my

assholeoutward.“Ah,fuck.”

Throbbingandleakingalready,mycockslappedwetlyagainstmybellywitheachofhisgentle

prodding motions. The silver plug was heavy. It tugged on my channel, making me continually

clench.Itpressedagainstthemembraneofskininsidesoitalmostfeltasifthehotmetalrubbedmy

dickfromtheinsideout.

“Doesthatfeelgoodinthere?”

“Yeah.Sohot.Makingmecrazy.”IperspiredwhileheplayedwiththepluguntilItenseduponthe

ballsofmyfeet.

“Ibet.”Michaellickedacrossmydammeduphole.“ButIthinkwehavetotakeitout.Iwantyou

emptyandachingtobefilledbymycock.Iwantyourasshungryandgreedy.Iwantyoutobegfor

me.”Hepulleditoutwithaslowtwistandslide.

“Idon’tthinkthat’llbeaproblem.”Igrittedmyteeth,groaning.

“Isn’t that fucking pretty? Look at that red pucker.” His fingertip rested against my convulsing

emptyopening.“Samecolorasyourlips,baby.AndI’mgoingtokissthislittlerosebud,too.”

Itwasagoodthinghedidn’tstarttherimjobrightthen,becauseIwould’vejizzedintenseconds

flat. I couldn’t believe I was in my dream man’s bedroom, bent over his bed, waving my ass in his

faceasIlistenedtohimpraiseit.

Jesus.

“Butnotyet,baby.”Hesentaloudsmackagainstmyflexingbutt.

Ijumpedupandwheeledonhim.“Myturn.”

Ispentthenexthalf-minutetearinghisclothesoffhim.Iwantedhimnaked.Iwantedhimnow.I

onlystoppedwhenIgotagoodganderatwhatheworebeneathhispants.Myeyesrolledbackinmy

headatthesightofhim—thosemusclesonmusclesonhisgoldenbodyandtheslimlineofhairdown

thecenterofhiseight-ten-twelvepack—andthefuckinggoddamntinywhitejockstrap.

It was the old-fashioned lace-up variety, and his blond pubes curled over the top. His boner

stretchedit,andbyGod,thelaces...theyalreadystartedworkingapartunderthestrainofhisrigid

cock.

“OhmyGod,yousexysoccerjock.”

“Youlikeit?”Heframedhispackagewithbothhands.

I played with the laces as his gasps fell across my lips. “Keep it on. I might just come from

lookingatyou.”

Ifondledhimthroughthepouch,enjoyinghishissingbreaths.

Hewrappedmeinhisarmsandbitalongmyneckandjaw,groaning.“Notyet,Liam.Don’twant

tocomeyet.”

Igaveonelastsqueezethenrelented.

Shovingmeontothebed,hecrawledafterme.

“Massagetime.”Hisdevioussmilesentanewburstofshiversacrossmybareskin.“Ithinkwe’ll

dothefrontfirst.”

He stretched my arms above my head, but I didn’t need to be urged to spread my legs wider,

givinghimalltheroomheneededtomaneuver.Thenheoiledhishandswithascentthatmademy

headspin.

Thesmellwasmuskyandspicy,primalandsensual.Addedtothat,thelushmalevisualofMichael

innothingbutthatgoddamnpurewhite,low-slung,lace-upjockstrap,Iwasgaspingbeforeheeven

started.

“Doyoulikethewayitsmells?”

“Uhhuh.”Inoddedmyheadtogowithmycavemangrunt.

“Thenthewayitfeelsisreallygonnablowyourmind.”Hisgrinwasnolongerdevious;itwas

downrightwicked.

Somethingwasabouttoblowforsure,mycockbeforemymindmostlikely.

Assoonashisslickfingersslidalongmymuscles,hespunmewithinhisspell.Michael’seyes

sparkled.Heteasedmewithhisfingertips,slickingmyskin,infiltratingeveryoneofmysenses.He

seducedmewitheachstrokeasIturnedintoatightlystrungbowofthemostbasicneed.

Afterthoroughlyplayingwitheachtightenednipple,heskimmedthoseskilledhandstomyabs.

Alternatelytouchingmewithlightandroughstrokes,heavoidedtheheavylengthofmycock,only

nudgingagainstitasifbyaccidentratherthanmaddeningdesign.

When I thought he’d move onto my legs, he hovered instead above my chest. The pouch of his

jock almost lowered to my mouth. I nosed and nuzzled against him. In the end I had to resort to

inhalingthroughmynose,exhalingthroughmypartedlips,becausehisstrongfingersmovedfrom

mypalmsdownmyforearms.Hemassagedeachheftybicepandevencircledhardfingertipsthrough

thehairatmypits.

Itwistedandbuckedandgroanedbeneathhim.

“Good?”Hepeeredatme.

Iemittedaslowstreamofbreath.“Unreal.”

Shimmying along my torso, he kneeled between my spread legs. He gave my feet, ankles, and

calves the same luxurious tantalizing treatment. The higher he moved up my thighs, the louder I

groaned.

“There’sonebigmusclethatneedsalotofattention,doesn’tit,baby?”

Blinking at him, I was unable to form a response. My dick spoke for me, jumping up from my

stomach,seekinghishand.

“Notyet.”Hesmoothedhisfingersbackdownbothofmythighs.

“Youareevil.”

“Mmm.”

Iknewhewasjustasturnedonasme.Thelacingsonhisjockstraphadcomeentirelyundoneby

thesheerforceofhisjuttingcock.Thatbeautifullengthbreachedthroughthetop,thebulb-tipshiny

withclearfluid.

“Iwanttosuckyou,”Ipleaded.

Hestoppedhisnaughtyministrationslongenoughtoconsidermyrequest.“Maybejustalittle.”

ChapterTwenty-Eight

TheBottomTop

STRADDLINGMYFACEONCEmore,heremainedbarelywithinreachofmymouth.Ididn’tmove

myarmsfromwherehe’draisedthemearlier,eagertoshowhimhowmuchIwantedataste.

Crunching up, I licked the burning hot shaft through the lacings until I made it to his engorged

head.Isuckedonit,nursingthebroadcap,pokingmytongueintotheslittodrawoutmoremoisture.

I’dbarelygottenthefirsttwoinchesintomymouthbeforehewithdrew.

“Iwasn’tdone,”Iraspedthroughswollenlips.

Michael’skisseasedmyimpatiencebeforeherampeditbackupagain.Hereturnedtothetaskof

mythighs.Situatingbothhisthumbstightlyonthetendonsatthetop,hisknucklesbrushingmyballs,

hepresseddown.

Mythighsspasmed.Iarchedmyback.Atthatmoment,Michaelfinallyloweredoneloosefistover

mycock.Hewouldn’tletmefuckintoit.Heanchoredmyhipstothebedinstead.Hejerkedmeinside

hiswell-oiledhanduntilmyshaftshined.

Thenheletgo.

I gnashed my teeth as Michael manhandled me onto my front. I snarled when he giggled. He

giggled?

“What?”

“Ass dimples. Precious.” The flat of his tongue slipped across each divot of flesh. Then he

growledandlightlybitmyleftcheek.“Thisfuckingass,man.”

Squeezinghandfulsofmysolidlymuscledrump,helickedupanddownbothglobes.

Michaeldidn’twastemoretimebuildingmeup.Hemust’veknownIwasabouttoblow.Allhis

focuscenteredonthatonetinyopeningofmybody,theonehewouldclaimashisowntonight.

Atthefirstwetglideofhistongue,Iyelledandbuckedback.Divingin,hewentforit.Ifelthis

lips, his tongue, and his teeth on my shivering bud. My ass clamped his stubbled cheeks as his jaw

worked in delirious circles. My fingers curled into the towel, and I tried to hump against it, but

Michaeldraggedmeuptohisfacewithafirmhandclampedaroundmyhip.

Inhumannoisespassedfromhislipsandintomewitheachthrustofhisplunderingtongue.Wet

slurps,wildgroans,wantonhungrysmacksoflipsagainstmyopening.

My cock went ignored. Probably a good thing. One touch and I’d shoot. His fingers found my

balls,though.JesusChrist,didtheyever.Pulling,tugging,rubbingallintimetotheeating,sucking,

ass-festgoingon.

Eventually,Michaelwithdrew.Hegentledmewithkisses—onthebacksofmythighsandonmy

sac,allovermyrear,andupmyspine.Ishould’veknownhewasn’tdone.Hepushedmedownbymy

shoulders,andIwentwithoutquestion.

“Isthisthekindofmassageyouwantedfromme?”heasked,beforeslidingbothhisslickthumbs

intomywet,aching,gapingring.

“Yes!”Icriedout.

Iwasinagony.Myskinstretchedsotightovermyentirebodyithummed.

Headdedmoreoftheelectrifyingoil,andmorefingers,asthehairstooduponthebackofmy

neck.Ipushedmygreedyassbackathim,justlikehe’dsaidIwould.IwassohornedupIcouldn’tsee

straight,andallIthoughtaboutwascock.Hiscock.Inme.

Michael’sthickfingersandslicktonguesawedintome,draggingmoreprofanitiesfrommylips.

I pushed against the burn and groaned with the deep-seated, never-satisfied, newly discovered

pleasureofbeingdrilledandfilled.

“Areyoureadyformycockinhere,baby?”

“Fuck,yes.”

Onebyone,hisfingersdepartedme.Ihikeduptomyknees,presentingmyass.Myholefeltso

empty,itrippledaroundthinair.Iheardrustlingbehindme.

“Whatareyoudoing?Comefuckmealready.”

“Condom,”hesaidwithahoarsegrunt.

“You’reclean,right?Wegettestedlikeeverydamnday.Iwanttofeelyoucomeinme.”

ThenextsoundwastheloudsnapofarubbergoingdownMichael’scock.Hiswarmhandsettled

onmyspine.

Hisvoiceraspedagainstmyear.“ToosoonafterWade.Wanttobesure.”

Ididn’twanttothinkabouttheWwordwhenwewerelikethis,oreverforthatmatter,soIbitoff

myargument.Iheardhimapplyinglubetohiscockbeforehesquirtedmoredownthedivideofmy

ass.

“Justdon’tfightmethistime,champ.”Michaellinedupbehindme.

“I won’t. I won’t.” I was too far past anything other than the clawing desperation to have him

insideme.

“I’llgoslow.It’sgoingtohurtforabit.”

“Don’tcare.Doit.Dome.”

The first bump of his cockhead against my ass unraveled another string of swears from me.

Bracedonmyarms,Ishudderedasthewidewetheadofhiscockpressedharder.

“Pushout,baby.Takemein.”Michaelsmoothedahandupmyback,hisotheronegraspingmy

hip.

Hislipsmovedacrossmyshoulders.

Irelaxedmybody,willinghiminside.

“Ah.Yes!That’sit.”

Withmyforeheadcrushedtothebed,Ipushedagainsthimashecoaxedthefattestpartofhiscock

insideme.Irearedupwhenhebreachedme,theringopeningandclosingaroundhim.

“Ohhhh!”Iyelled.

“Shh.Alittlemore,baby.OhGod,baby.”Therewasanothersoundbesidesmygruntingandhis

moaning,thecapofthelube.

Itscoolliquidstreakeddownmycleftandalonghiscock.

Thewetnessaidedhisentryasheshiftedforward.

Itwassofull.

“You’resotight,”hewhispered.

Itwassohot.

“You’reonfireinside,babe,”hewhimpered.

Itwasalong,slow,agonizingstretchuntilhisballsrestedagainstmytaintandhispubesmatted

againstme.

“I’minsideyou.Oh,Christ,Liam.I’minsideyou.”Itsoundedlikethereweretearsinhisvoice.

Icranedmyheadtolookathim.Hestaredinfascinationatourjoining.

I’dneverfeltsoclosetosomeone,soutterlyowned.Irapidlyheatedaroundhim,shiftinginside

—Michaelisinsideme—toaccommodatehim.Itfeltlikehenudgedagainsteverysinglesexualnerve

ending in my body. The butt plug had opened me but not like this. It was nothing compared to the

stretchandbreadthofMichael.Itwas...

“You’re perfect. So perfect.” He didn’t move inside me, but his voice shook. “Can you lift up,

baby?Iwanttofeelyouagainstme,alltheway.Iwon’tmove,love,Iwon’t.Notuntilyou’reready.”

Slowlyrisingup,Igaspedwhenthechangeinpositionmadehimbrushmyprostate.Heembraced

me,pullingmybackagainsthim.Hissoftwhispersandsofterstubbleraspedtheskinofmyneckand

ear.

“Beautiful,”hemurmured.

Hishandsflitteredallovermyfront.Whenhebarelytouchedmycock,Ijerked.

Ishookmyhead.“Tooclose.Notreadytoletitgoyet.”

“Mmm.Baby.Lookatyou,perfectsexyassvirgin.You’resotightaroundme.”Henippedatmy

earlobe.“CanIrideyoulongandslow?”

“Yeah.Fuckyeah,please.”

“Likethis?”Hepulledoutafewinchesthenslidbackinside.

“More.”Reachingback,Igraspedahandfulofdamp,sweatyhair.

Michaelcameatmewithlongsexyslowslides.Thelubeandhispreparationworkedtheirmagic.

Iwould’vebeenloose-bonedinhisembraceifitwasn’tforthetearing,clawingneedtogetfucked—

andfuckedraw.

“Don’ttreatmelikeagirl,”Ihashedbetweenmyteethwhenhisslowlovemakingmademyeyes

burn.

“IfI’mgoingtofuckyouhard,Ineedtoseeyourface.”Heswiftlydisengagedandpressedme

ontomyback.“Ineedtokissyou.”

Hismouthmetminejustbeforeheliftedmylegsandthrustinside.Iclampedmythighsagainst

him, my heels hooked behind his pumping ass. Using my feet for leverage, I put every ounce of

wantinghimintoslamminguptohisharder,faster,wilderstrokes.

Ourkissbroke.Michaelpunchedupontohisfists.Hisarmsbulged.Hischestwasalandscapeof

muscle,andhefuckedmelikethepureanimalhewas.

Raw,rough,muscular,athletic,everyfastplungesuckedtheoxygenrightfrommylungsandtore

aloudhowlfrommythroat.Hishipsjammedagainstmyass.Heknockedagainstmyglanduntilhis

cocksetthatbundleoffuckyeahonfire.

Gasping,Michaelslowed.Heeasedslightlyontohisside,drawingmylegupandopen.Hiships

swiveled.Herotatedupintome.Hepulledout.HerepeatedhislanguorousmoveuntilIwasdizzy.

“Oh,Christ.”Idugmyfingersintohisflanks.

“You’re going to come like this, aren’t you, sexy boy? You like it fast and nasty, and slow and

hot.”

Igulpedforairthatneverseemedtofillmylungs.

Withapalmheoiledinlube,hecurledaroundmyneglectedcock.“ComewhileIfuckyou.Ineed

tofeelit.Makemeloseit.I’msoclose.Can’twait.”

Arching against his deep-thrusting cock and into his slick wet handhold, I cursed. Locked in

position, I rode the extreme highs of my orgasm. My come blasted everywhere. Everything turned

whiteandflashing,thenshadowy,hazy.

Michaelgroanedmynamewitheachofhislastfewthrustsinsideme.Hepulsedhiships,hisgaze

drivingintomine.Asoftsurgeofwarmthfilledthecondom,andhowIwantedthatcomesplashing

myinsides.

Ilovedhisheavyweight,hissloppykissesashecamedownfromamassivetesticularblow-out.

Rollingtohisback,hewincedashisdickescapedme.Hedisposedofthecondomquickly,andwelay

ineachother ’sarms.

“WasIokay?”heasked.

Leaningup,IlookedintoMichael’seyes.Isheforreal?“DidIscreamyourname?”

“Yeah.”Hesmiled.

“DidIbegyoutotakemyass?”

“Ohyeah.”

“Did I come all over the place?” I kissed his lips and then slid my cheek against his. “I can’t

describeit.Divine?Amazing?Awesome?Nowords,sweetheart.”

“Youmademeseestars.”

Islippedontomyback.“Should’vemadeyouseedollarbillsigns,becauseyouowemeahundred

bucksfromourbet.”

“IthinkIoweyouaridefirst.”

Oh.Hell.Yes.

ChapterTwenty-Nine

FightNight

MYEMOTIONALAFTERMATH,ORmorelikelymymentalhighfiveaftergettingass-fuckedfor

thefirsttime,wascutshortbySaturdayNightFightNight.

I didn’t get a chance to tell Michael how much he meant to me, or that his lovemaking pushed

away all my fears. That sleeping beside him for those few hours I allowed myself were the best

momentsofmylife.

I’d kissed his cheek, quietly whispering good morning. I’d gathered my clothes, skipping out at

dawn.Weneverwoketogetherexceptinthemiddleofthenight,whentherestoftheworldwassilent

andwecouldbeasclose,asloud,asperfectlytogetheraswewantedtobe.

Our trip to Madison Square Garden didn’t require a private jet but rather a cavalcade of black

SUVs with dark-tinted windows. We made the mere three-mile drive from Tribeca to midtown

Manhattaninamatterofminutes.Thepastcoupleofdayshadbeenallaboutfinalworkouts,official

weigh-ins,andbriskrub-downsbyMichael.Hewaslettingmegetintomyheadspace.

BeforeIknewit,itwastheBigNight.

Inthelockerroom,Michaeltapedmeupinsilence.Therewerenotemptingglances.Therewere

noexchangedendearments.Hewastotallyprofessional.SowasI.

Itstillhurtmetothecorewhenhewouldn’tmeetmyeyesortakemeinhisarms.Rationally,I

knewhedidwhathehadtoinordertoseparatemegoingintotheringfromourromance.

I knew keeping us in the dark fucked with his mind. I also knew I didn’t have time to go all

headshrinker over the potentially devastating blows my secrecy might deal to our relationship

becauseIhaddevastatingblowstodelivertoReggietonight.

Exiting the locker room, I put on my game face. I jogged into the ring, a grin plastered to my

mouth.Gettingintothewild,fans-on-firevibe,Ibouncedfromcornertocorner.Thiswashometo

me.OneIknewinsideandout,backwardandforward,fromtheveryfirstpunchtothefinalknockout

hit.

A seething sea of people beyond the ring packed the auditorium. Madison Square Garden

overflowedwithpress,sponsors,andnearlytwentythousandrip-roaringfans.

WhenIthrustmyfisttotheair,shoutsalmostliftedthegoddamnedroofoff,andIlovedit.Iwent

throughmyprematchritual,whichincludedkissingthecrossonmyneckbeforeIturnedmybackto

Michaelsohecouldunhookthecatchandkeepitsafeinhispocket.

His sure fingers made quick work of the long silver chain. His mouth barely brushed my ear.

“Goodluck,babe.”

“YouthinkIneedit?”Iturnedtowardhim,catchinghispiercinggrayeyes.“Youdon’tthinkGod

isinmycorner?”

Hepocketedthecross.“Itdoesn’tmatterifheisornot.Iam.Andyouareaknockout.”

Whenhesuckedhisbottomlipbetweenhisteeth,Icouldtellhewantedtokissme.Iwantedit,too.

Closingmyeyes,Iblessedmyselfwithmyboxingglovemovingacrossmychest.

IlistenedtoMichael’slowlastwords.“Makemeproud.”

“That’swhatIlivetodo.”

Trottingaroundmycorneroftheringontheballsofmyfeet,Iworkedoutanylastkinksinmy

body.AllthewhileItookstockofthenextfighterI’dwipethefloorwith.

ReggieJones.

Inbetweenmyarduousworkoutsandanotherroundofpressmeetings,Dev,Michael,SeanandI

had watched every last match of his we could find. Built like a tank, he fought with single-minded

lethality.Hedidn’tappeartohaveaweaknessuntil—earlierinthedaywhileIpacedthesittingroom

inDev’shotelroom—Michaellaughed.

I’d spun on him. “What? You think the possibility I might get my bonny face fucked up is

amusing?”

He’d reached up to pat my aforementioned face. Affectionately—in front of everyone—I might

add.“He’sgotnofire.Whereasyou,myfriend,wearyourheartonyoursleeve.”

“Idonot.”There’dbehelltopayifIdid.

“Shutit.Mikey’sontosomething,”Devhadhissed.

AaaandI’dtakenoffensetoDevusingmysexpetnameforMichael.ButI’ddutifullysatmyass

down on the arm of the fancy formal sofa, which groaned in protest. The springs already sagged

underMichael’slargeframe.

“Youneedtorattlehiscage,getunderhisskin,”myMikeysaid.

The only man’s cage I wanted to rattle was his, and he knew it. I’d had to look away from my

lover.Shit.IneededtoconcentrateonReggieJones—theonlymanwhostoodinthewayofmytitle

belthopes.

“SowhatamIsupposedtodotolighthisassonfire?”

“Well,thereyougotme.”Michaelhadrakedthroughhisblondcurls.“Butyouthinkfastonyour

feet.I’msureyou’llcomeupwithsomething.”

Ithinkfastonmyback,too.UnsaidinnuendoshadflownbetweenMichaelandme.DevandSean

remainedblissfullyunaware.I’dhoped.

Even now, joining me in the ring, Reggie didn’t show a glimmer of feeling on his emotionless

face.Iwasalwaysthechallenger,neverthechampion.Goodthingbeingtheunderdogsuitedmejust

fine.

IntroductionswerewellunderwaywhenIbackedintomycornerandReggietookcenterstage:

“TheeeeeDYNAMOfromtheDarkStreetsofHarlem…”

“Isn’tthatracist?”ImumbledthroughmymouthguardtoMichaelasIwatchedmyebony-skinned

opponent.

Hislaughwasdry.“Imaginehowhe’dannounceagayboxer,huh?”

Ididn’tevenwanttothinkaboutthatscenario.Nowmycagerattledandnotinagoodlet’s-win-

this-fucking-fightway.AndwhatdidmylittleeyespywhenIturnedtoMichaelformylastminutepep

talk?Spikyauburnhairandaslicksmilefromaguyinthethirdrow.Mymoneywasonex-boyfriend

Wade.OrmaybeIwashallucinating.

Fuck.

Ispunbackaroundwhenthebellrang.IboundedintothemiddleoftheringasAnyaswoopedher

sweetassoffofit.

Thebattleofbigbastardsinthisheavyweightboutwentonandon.Numbedtoallbutmyangerat

WankerWadepossiblymakinghislaststand,Igruntedthroughuppercuts,protectedmyhead,hitlike

ademonampedupondrugs.

Reggieneverdeviatedfromhisattack-attack-attackplan.

Devlinyelledatmefromtheringside.Anyasweptaroundtheringbetweenroundsinherbeaded

bikini, big-ass hair, and Dominatrix-style vinyl boots. Sean growled at me. I growled back through

mymouthguard.

Ithadonlytakenmetwointervalstofigureouttheauburn-hairedturdinthethirdrowwasinfact

Wade.Hewasforreal.Hewashere.Andhewasnottakingthebreak-uplyingdown.Wade’spresence

onlyaddedtomyfurytoendthisfightfastsoIcouldkeepmyunbrokenrecord.

But I swore to fuck if I saw Wonderful Wade wink at Michael one more time I was gonna go

ballistic.

TherefbrokeupReggieandmemorethanafewtimes.

Sweatandblooddrippedfrommyface.Myskinturnedmany,manycolorsofthespectrum.So

didReggie’s,especiallywhenIdidaleftjab,righthook,uppercutpunchcomboonhispuss.

Backinmycorneragain,Iwashoseddown,wipedup,andpattedalloverbyMichael.Thenhe

grabbedmyfaceinbothhands.

“You’reoffyourgame.”

Noshit.Tellyourextoam-scrayalready.

“Igotthis,”Isnarled.

Sean’sgruffshoutsoundedinmyear,“Takeitlikeaman!Takehimdown!”

Mychestpumpedup.

Michaelslakedthesweatoffmeonemoretime.“Rememberhisweakness.”

IwasnotlosingmyfirstfightinfrontofmotherfuckingWade.Ihadshittoproveandthefiststo

doitwith.

Refreshingrageracedthroughmyveins,lightingallmymusclesonfirewhenIlopedtocenter

ring.ThesecondthebellwentoffIwasalloverReggieTheeeeDynamo.ThecrowdrevvedupwhenI

did.

I muscled Jones against the ropes, tucking my head down, gunning for his midsection. Every

punchslammedintohisgutshimmiedupmyarmandshookmyshoulder.

Thescreamsforme,TheBonnyBruiser,TheIrishBlight,roared!

Reggiescrambledforhisfooting,butheslippeddowntheropes.

Iboxedhimtothemat.

Slam.Slam.Slam.

The ref pulled me away from Reggie and sent me to a neutral corner. I couldn’t hear the count

throughthebloodroaringinmyears.

Theaudiencewentmentalintheirseats.AndfuckingWadewasamongthem.

Reggiegotontohisknees.Iboxedmyglovestogether.Ihadmoreinme.Iwasreadytoendit.

Therefcontinuedthecountwithhisrightarmslashingdownwitheverynumberheshouted.

Reggietriedtorise.Thebigmanswayedfromside-to-side;thenhefellflatonhisback.

God,Iragedinsidemyskin.Iwantedtofightsomemore.

When the ref counted Reggie out and declared him the loser, the bell rang along with so many

thousandspealinginsidemyhead.

My arm was grabbed and hauled up. “THE WINNER, WITH HIS SIXTEENTH KNOCKOUT!

LIAMOooooo’SHAUGHNESSY!”

Ithrewmyheadbackandroared.

Reggiewascartedoffthering.

Anotherwin.

Myskinshiveredovermybones.Thatonewasalmosttooclose.

Sean,Anya,Dev,andMichaelwhoopedaroundme,speakingintothemicastheMCpivotedmein

eachdirectiontowardthecelebratingmasses.WhenIfacedfrontandcentertogiveafewpostfight

soundbites,thatthorninmyside—Wade—hadmadehiswayintothering.HestoodbesideMichael.

Hestolemymomentofglory.WatchinghimwithMichaelmademynostrilsflareandfilledme

with a fresh surge of anger. I’d just won the biggest fight of my life, but the worst might yet be to

come.

IfMichaelwentbacktoWadethatwouldbeablowI’dneverrecoverfrom.

Wade needed to take his fucking hands off Michael before I threw him down. With my face

beameduptotheJumboTron,Itriedtowipethescowlaway.

Michaelsmiledasheapproachedme,sparingalastlevelinglookathisex.

“Turnaround,champ.”

Hisfingersstrokeddownmyheavingbackforasecond.Itwasenoughtosendsparksthroughout

mybody,Wadebedamned.IfeltMichael’sbreathonmyshoulderwhenhedangledthecrossovermy

chest,hookingthechainbehindmyneck.ThenthefanswenthogwildasIkissedmyglovedfistand

raiseditoncemoretothesky.

Michael grabbed my wrist, ignoring Ex-Boyfriend with a Death Wish Wade. I wouldn’t let his

presencekillmyvictorylap.Everyoneofhisfreckleshadmyfistswrittenalloverthem.

FistsI’dhavetoputtouselater,becauseSeanledmeintothetunnelsafterI’dstoppedtoposefor

photos,smiledthroughgrittedteeth,andgnawedaholeinmystomachaboutMichaelstandingbeside

Wadeastherestofmyteamescortedmeaway.

“Troubleinparadise?”Seanstabbedthebutt-endofhisstubbycigaratme.

“What?”

“MichaelandWade,”hetackedon,proddingmeintothelockerroom.

Devlinbangedinside.“Mikey’llbehereinaminute.He’swithhisguy.”

Goddammit!I’mhisguy!

Sean did the honors of removing my gloves and tapping me out of the taped fists. He threw a

towelatme.

Devlinturnedonashowerandmarchedoutwithamere,“Keepitup,Liam.Onefightawayfrom

glory.”

“Hey,kid?”

Istuckmyheadoutoftheshower.“Yeah?”

Sean stood there. “That was one helluva damn good fight. And you’re one helluva damn good

fighter.Yououghttabeproud.Keepyourchinup,yeah?”

Onesmallounceofpridefilledmychest.Ireturnedtosoapingup,andSeanwhistledasheexited

theshowerblock.

Afewminuteslater,Idriedoffinfrontofthelockers.Michaelpaddedintotheroom.Hemoved

straightintomyarms.

Idroppedthetowelandasked,“What’dWadewant?”

ChapterThirty

VictoryandDefeat

MICHAELSHOOKHISHEAD.“Itdoesn’tmatter.Isenthimpacking.”

“Oh.Hewantsyouback,doesn’the?”Isatdownonthebench.

“Itoldhimitisn’tgonnahappen.”

“Whatdoyouwant,Michael?”Italkedtothefloorbetweenmybarefeet.

Claspingmyface,Michaeldrewmyheadup.“Iwantyou.Iwantedtokissyoulikethis.”Hislips

meltedtomine.

An affirming rush of arousal bolted through me when he drew back to press his cheek against

mine.“Iwanttokissyoulikethateverytimeyouwin,evenwhenyoulose,which—fuckme—Ihaven’t

seenyet.Isenthimaway,Liam.”

Tearsgatheredinmyeyesandstuckinmythroat.“Comehomewithme?”

I didn’t know how to romance Michael. There were no candles lit or oils ready. Just me, in my

bed,whenheenteredmyapartmentanhourlater.

Silently, Michael shucked his clothes. His eyes darkened to near black when I drew the blankets

aside,showingmyselftohim.Hesankinnexttomeandhisstrongarmsdrewmetohischestasmy

backrestedagainsthisfront.

“Areyoutootired?”Hiswhisperslidovermyear.

“I’mnevertootiredforyou.”

“Idon’twanttofuckyou.”

Mybreathstalledoutinmychest.

“Iwanttoknowyouandholdyouandbeclosetoyou.”Hisfingersgrippedmineacrossmytorso.

Hisarmsalwaysanchoredmetohimwhenwelaylikethis.

Hottearsslippedfromhiseyes.

Ifeltthemstreamingdownmyneck.

“I’msorry.It’sreallyhardnotbeingabletotouchyouthewayIwantwhenwe’retogetherallday

long,everyday.”Hegasped.“IfeellikeI’mlosingyou.”

“Howdoesmywinningafightequatetoyoulosingme?”

Heflippedtohisback.

WhenIrolledtomyside,he’ddraggedanarmoverhisface.

“There’sthejob,andthenthere’sus,honey.”Irosetomyelbowbesidehim.

“Honey?”Hisbiggrayeyesflickeredopen.

I took advantage of his reaction, grasping his ass and rolling on top of him. “Yeah. You’re my

honey.”

Michael made a noise between a mewl and a moan, and that was the first time I heard that

intoxicatingsound.“Ijustwishwecouldberealtogetherallthetime.”

Irearedup.“Weare.Wearerealtogether.”Itouchedhisheartfirstbeforebringinghishandto

mine.“Nooneelsematters.”

“Justtellmethisisn’tone-sided.”

“Don’tyougetityet?Iloveyou,Michael.”Istareddownintohiseyes.

“What?”

Loweringagainsthim,Ibrushedhislipswithmine.“Iloveyou.”

Hegrippedmynecktodragmetohimwitharoughgroan.Ourmouthsjoinedtogetherinalong

tenderkiss.Hisfullfirmlipsmovedwithmineasourtonguesslippedfromhismouthtomine.

Wrestling free with his hands skimming down my back and over the hard swells of my ass,

Michaelsaid,“Showme.Makelovetome.”

Ishoveduponmyarmsagain,astraightshotofdesirespearingmeinaninstant.“Whatexactly

areyousaying?”Ineededtohearthewordscomeoutofhismouth.

Hespreadhislegsandusedhisheelsatmybareasstobringmehome.Andthathomewasahot

littlepinkbuttonpulsingagainstthetipofmydeeplyengorgedcockwhenIlookeddownbetweenour

legs.

“Iwantyouinsideme.”

Myarmstrembled.“Fuck.”

Reachinglow,hegentlyjackedme.“This.Ineedthis.”

Iswungmyhipsbackbecausetheideaofbeinginsidehimcombinedwiththefeelofhiswarm

holekissingmycockheadwasnothingshortofinstantorgasminthemaking.

Michaelletmycockslipfromhisgrip.

Hebrushedthehairoffmybrow.“Sowhatdoyousay?”

“I’mgonnaloveyousogood,sweetheart.”Istartedbykissingthesatisfiedsmilefromhisface

untilhehuntedaftermylipswhenIpulledaway.

Therewassomuchofhimlaidoutonmybed,allformypleasure.Thecordsofhisthroat,the

sinewsofhisshoulders,thetightnipplesonhischestthatonlygrewharderwhenIsuckedeachinto

mymouth.

Michael twisted beneath me, his powerful body seeking release. His cock jumped at my first

negligible touch, but I wasn’t about to start there. Not until he whined, whimpered, begged for me

insidehim.

WithhisarmsratchetedabovehisheadafterItoldhimtostayput,Iplacedmymouthonthehot

skin of his stomach. He jumped on contact and I chuckled. My hands coasted to his thighs where I

pressedhimupandopenandmine.

Hewassosweet,andsofuckinghot.Iwasbreathless.Sittingonmyknees,Iletmypalmstravel

thelonglengthofhisbodyasItookinthesightofhim.Imurmuredtohim,kissinghisthighs,his

chest,decidingonmyplanofattack.

Michael’ssmoothballswereasprettyastherestofhim.HekeenedoutasIcircledbothorbswith

my fingers, dragging them low. When they pulled tight, I tugged the taut flesh into my mouth.

Precome at the head of his cock dripped down, joining my saliva and slurping mouth. One pouch,

thenthenext,Irolledhisballsintheirsoftsacwithmytongue.

He kept his hands behind his head. Good boy. Moving into position with his cock aimed at my

mouth, I scanned up his body to meet his fever-filled gaze. I tapped his shaft against my extended

tongue,andlickedit.Hiseyesshut,andIgrowled.AssoonasIhadhisattentionagain,Irammedhis

heavymeatdownmythroat.Iwithdrewslowly,rubbingmytonguealongtheunderbellyofhiscock.

Atthetop,Irepeatedlydrewmylipsupandovertheperfectlyshapedcap.

Whenhisabscrunchedandreleasedoverandover,Ideep-throatedhim.EverytimeIpulledhim

frommythroatandmouth,Isucked,licked,andnibbledtheheadofhiscock.EverytimeIswallowed

him,Istayeddownalittlebitlonger.Eventuallysalivahungoffmylips,drippeddownhiscockand

overmyhand.Hissolidshaftwassostiffandbigitseemedtohavedoubledinsize.

Icouldn’tgetenoughofhim.

IblewhimuntilhishoarseshoutsfilledtheairandIknewhestrugglednottocome.Ididn’twant

him over the edge. Not until I had a chance to feel his ass wrapped around me. I moved along his

body, kissing him and whispering to him. I gentled him and loved him with every touch on his

muscles,andhistattoo,andmyhandswindingthroughhishair.

Whenhisbreathingevenedout,Iloweredmyfacebetweenhislegsoncemore.Hegazeddown

andgaspedsharply.Lappingthedeepgrooveswherehisextraordinaryassmethisthighs,Istaredat

hiscrinkledopening.

“Yousureyouwantmeinyou,sweetheart?”

Michaelheftedhislegsfurtheruphischest.“Doesthatansweryourquestion?”

“You’rebeautiful.”Itouchedhisrimwithafingertip,watchinghimacceptthefeelofme.

“Liam!”

Ohyeah,moreofthatnoise,please.

Hisrosyholewasmine.Shortblondhairstickledmynoseasmytonguereplacedmyfinger.His

thighs tensed beside my head, and damn if he wasn’t the hottest fuck I’d ever had. I bit at his

surrounding tissue. I sucked as much of his ass into my mouth as I could. I lined his entrance with

wildlywetslipsofmytongue,lappingandlickinguntilheopenedlikeaspringtimebud.

Spreadinghisassbetweenmytwohands,Imashedmyfaceintohiscleft.MyGod!Hisasswasso

cherryandhot,heburnedthewetfingerIslippedinside.Icouldn’tthink.Iwouldn’tlast.Ihadtohave

him.

Hunkered on my hands above him, I grunted, “I wanna fuck you so deep, Mikey.” I thrust two

lubedfingersbackinside.

“Ahhh.Yes.Quick,Liam.QuickbeforeIcome.”

HiscockwasverticalonhisstomachandthehardestI’deverseenit.

Webothsnappedthecondomoverme.Wesmearedlubeontomeuntilmyentirelengthgleamed

anddrippedbetweenourfingers.Isquirtedlubedirectlyintohischute,listeningtohishowlwhenI

widenedhimmorewiththreetwinedfingers.

“Helpmemakelovetoyou.”

“Ohfuck,baby,”hewhispered.

We wrapped our hands around my cock. I shuddered with his touch and shouted when my

cockheadkissedtheoutsideringofhishole.MichaelcontinuedtostrokemeinhisfistasIforcedmy

headthroughhistightopening.

Myvoicewasrawfromyelling.Thefeelingofthatclampingmusclebehindthetipofmycock

mademewanttoplungeroughlyinside.Istayedstill.

Michaelpantedandgroaned.Hisasslookedincredible,splitbymythickdick.Itoldhimso,and

hisholeopenedasifbymagicasheswallowedconvulsivelyinhisthroat.

I took in the pink color on his cheeks. I skimmed my fingers through the tumble of hair on his

forehead. I was only a couple inches inside him, but already it was the best fucking feeling in the

world.

Michaeltuckedhislegsaroundmyhipsandusedhisheelstourgemeforward.

“Don’twanttohurtyou,”Igroaned,holdingmyselfoffhim.

“Youwon’t.”

Iwantedtopoundhisassintothebed.Iwantedtolovehimforever.Iwantedtoscaldhisinsides

withmycomeandownhiminsideout.

Withmychestpressedtohis,Irolledmyhips.Hisincredibleheatsentshiversdownmyback.I

pantedasIpushedinsidehim,feedingmycockintoMichael’sassinchbyslowinch.WhenIwasfully

seatedinside,andhissnugsurroundsclampeddownonme,Ididn’tmove.

Icouldn’t.

Ibentmyfacetohisnecktolickatrailofsweat.

Idrownedinhim.HisfacewasamaskofagonizedpleasurewhenIliftedup,butassoonashe

drewinaraggedbreath,hiseyesopened.Hisirisesglazedoverwithneed.NeedIcouldfulfill.His

assopenedevenmore,andIpushedthatfinalbitinsidewitharockingmotionofmyhips.

“Ungh,”Michaelshoutedwithhisheadthrownback.

Ikissedhisear.“That’sit,Mikey.Feelmeinsideyou?”

Flexingmycock,Idugmyhandsintohiships.Heclenchedmeagain,milkingmesogoodandI’d

barelymoved.

“Nowletmeloveyou,sweetheart.”Ipulledoutandthrustdeep.

Iswallowedhisnextshoutandalltheothersafterwithmytongueslidingagainsthisasmycock

pushedinandout.Thedeliciouslyheavyweightofhismeatslappedmybellyintimetomythrusts.

I’dusedsomuchlubeeverymotioncreatedaloudsquelchbetweenourbodies.

IkissedhimuntilIwasbreathless.IfuckedhimharduntilIalmosttrippedovertheedge.Idrank

downhisgrunts.Pushingmyhandbetweenourslappingstomachs,Icurledmyfistaroundhim.

Iquietedmydoubtsandhisworriesbymakinglovetomyman.Hislegswoundaroundmyback

asImovedmoreslowly,andmoretenderly,andsogentlyIcriedoutatthefeelofhimtakingmein

overandoveragain.

Thefirstpulsesofhisorgasmsqueezedmycockinavaultofheat.Rockingfasterwitheachgust

of Michael’s breath and every one of our unsaid words, I held his face in one hand, his ass in the

other.Ourlipsmetandmeldedasmycocklungedinsidehim.

Thisiswhathewants.ThisiswhatIneed.

Hiscomesplashedbetweenus,anditsetmeoffinsidehim.Icouldn’tstop.Ididn’twantto.

MichaelshookagainstmewhenIwhisperedinhisear,“Iloveyou,Michael.”Closingmyarms

aroundhim,thrustingintohim,Icameinsidehim.“Iloveyousofuckingmuch.”

ChapterThirty-One

FloatLikeAButterfly

TWO MORNINGS LATER, I walked down the street, whistling under my breath. Michael and I

finallyhadafewdaysoff.StillsoaringonmyhighfrombeatingReggie,nothingcouldtouchme.

I felt frigging free after telling Michael I loved him. He didn’t say it back, but that was okay.

Maybe that was the thing about being in love—wanting to make the other person feel good. Feel

cherished.

MichaelwouldknowItreasuredhimthismorning.I’dgottenupearlierthanusual,afewhours

after I’d crept back to my bed from his apartment. I planned to surprise him. After a twenty-minute

runtomyfavoritebakery,I’dpickedupsomeflaky,crusty,sexy,gooeypastriesformyman,anda

disgusting spinach-colored protein shake for me. I’d have to brush my teeth after the thick, green

sludgebeforeIkissedMichaelgoodmorning.

Iwalkedbackslowly,savoringthebeginningofanewday.Thestreetsteemedwithpeople.The

morning was hazy. It was gonna be a hot one. I’d love to take Michael to the ocean for a weekend.

That was definitely something to plan for in the future. I grinned even more, approaching our

building.

The grin slid right off my face when I caught sight of a lanky dude with carrot-colored hair

leaningagainstthebuilding.

Wade.

I tried to skirt around him, but he blocked my way. I couldn’t very well rough him up in the

middleofthestreet,butIdamnwellwantedto.Whatwashedoing?Whywashestillhere?Betteryet,

whywashelurkingonMichael’sdoorstep?Fuckingstalker-exasshole.

Henoddedatthewhitepaperbaginmyhand.“Breakfastinbed?”

“Somethinglikethat.”Istaredaholethroughhisfreckledforehead.

“IlovedmorningslikethiswithMichael.We’dwakeupafteranightoffucking,tangledaround

eachotherjusttogoatitalloveragain.Sometimesitwasnoonbeforeweheadedouttogethertofind

somenewdivetogetlunch.Fuelforthesexwe’dgetbacktooncewegothome.”

Jealousywrackedmybody.“Howniceforyou.”

“Convenientset-upyou’vegothere.It’slikeMichaelisyoursecretkeptman.”

“Youdon'tknowwhatyou’retalkingabout.”Igrindedmyteethtogether.

MyfingersrippedthroughthepaperbagasIclenchedittoohard.

WadewasaskingforabeatingasheinvadedmyspacebutImaintainedmystance.Iwasthebig,

menacingwallbetweenhimandthebuilding,andifhethoughthewasgettingaroundmeandthrough

thedoor,hewasdeadwrong.

Seemingly unconcerned, Wade took another step toward me. “Really? I had ten years with

Michael,Liam,andyoudon’tthinkIknowhiminsideandout.Literally?He’sstar-struck,that'sall.

When the newness wears off, when he gets sick of not being able to be who he really is—because

you’reacoward—he’llcomebacktome.AndI’llbewaiting.”

So maybe Wade did know what he was talking about, but I wasn’t about to give him the

satisfactionofgettingundermyskin.

“You’regonnahavealong,lonelywaitthen.”Turningonmyheel,Imadeforthedoors.

Hisfinalwordshitmelikeaslaptotheface.“Idon’tthinkso.Michaelwon’tstickwithacloset

caseforlong.”

ItookthestairstoMichael’sfloor.Iletmyselfinwiththekeyhe’dgivenme.Findinghiminthe

shower,Iquicklyshedmyclothesandjoinedhim.

Iswallowedhisstartledgaspwithadevouringkiss.Hisnextnoisewasalongmoanashisfingers

dug into my ass, and I rocked against him. Our rigid cocks nestled between our wet bellies. The

slicknessofthewaterandhissoapwasmaddening.Perfect.Excruciating.

Notenough.

Leaving his lips, I moved to his throat. Sucking his skin, trailing my hands down his back, I

buckedagainsthim.

“Bed,”hegroaned.

“Nobed.Now.”Reachingoutoftheshower,Igrabbedmyshorts.

With my wallet in hand, I dug out a condom, rolled it down him. I leaned forward with my

forearmsbracedagainstthetileandwaterstreamingdownmyback.

“I’mnotfuckingyouraw,baby.”Michael’shandswanderedtomythrust-outass.

“Lube,inmywallet.”

Ihissedwhenhisslickenedfingershitmycreaseandcircledmyhole.“Itakeityouwantthisfast.”

Twofingersopenedinsideofme,andIbeatmyheadagainsttheshower.

“Yeah.”

“God,Liam.What’sgottenintoyou?”

“You, hopefully.” I smiled at him over my shoulder and then bit into the muscle when his cock

linedupwithmypursed-openbud.

Heslappedmythighswider,graspedmyhips,anddroveinsideinonehotspikeofneed.Hehit

myprostateandgrindedagainstitassoonasIyelledout.Ibackedupintohim,droppedmyhead,and

anchoredmyhandstothewall.

Eachofhisthrustsliftedmetotheballsofmyfeetbeforeheexitedcompletely.Ibangedmyfist

againstthetile.Hebangedme.Thechainreactionofhislunges,myfamishedasshole,hisgruntsand

myshoutssetmeoff.

Comeeruptedfromme.Itplasteredthetiles.Ithrewmyheadback,andmyarmsreachedforthe

showerhead to hang on as Michael hammered into me over . . . and over . . . and over again. He

draggedmetohischest,pumpingfrombeneathme.

“Baby,goddamn!” He bitmy neck, myearlobe, and lifted meoff my feetwith his final rooting

thrust.“Goddamn,Liam!”

Pushing me against the shower wall, he ran his lips along my shoulders. I shivered at his touch

andthenyelpedwhenthewaterturnedicecold.

Michaellaughed,haulingmefrombeneaththecoldsprayintothewarmbathroom.Hetossedthe

rubberintothetrashcanandthrewatowelatme.I’dshriveleduplikeafuckingprunefromthearctic

coldwater,andheflickedhisfingersatmydick.

“That’snotverymanly.”

“Fuckyou.”Idraggedhimintoaheadlock,pullinghimtothebedroom.

WhenIpushedhimontothebed,helandedonthebakerybag.

“What’sthis?”heasked,retrievingthebagfromunderhisback.

“Smushedbreakfast,fatass.”

“What’sthat?”HepointedatmyGreenLanternshake.

“Mud.Slush.Nastystuff.Becauseofyou.”Ishudderedindistaste,unwrappingtheclearstraw.

OnetasteandIwantedtoshrivelupanddie,likemydeath-by-frigid-showercock.“Ugh.”

“Glugglug!”Thecheerful—naked—bastardsatcross-leggedtomunchonhismashedpastries.

Flakycrustdrifteddownhischestandwhitecreamcoveredhislips.Helewdlylickedhismouth.

Afterdrainingthehorridslimyconcoctioninonego,Ibouncedontothebed.Lyingdownwith

myheadinhislap,Icaressedhisthighsandhopedforafewleftovercrumbs.

“Openup,bigguy.”

A melting mouthful of dark chocolate-filled puff pastry heaven tantalized my taste buds when I

tookabigbiteofMichael’soffering.

“Thisisn’tonmydiet.”Shuddup! Man of your dreams, naked, just fucked you, and handfeeding

youthefoodofgods—fatgods.

“Neitherismycock,butyouseemtotakeitallright.”Hewinked.

Oh,Ilovethis.Ilovehim.Ishouldn’tsayitagain.Ialreadysaiditonce—

“One...more...bite...”Michaeltempted.

He gave the morsel to me between a pinch of his fingers and I couldn’t figure out what tasted

better.Michaelorthemamma-miapastry.

BreakfastwentsourfastwhenMichael’sphoneranginthemiddleofmyfood-gasm.Helookedat

thescreenandthenjumpedoffthebed.Holdingafingeruptome,helefttheroomandshutthedoor.

Itdidn’ttakeageniustofigureoutWadewasthemysteriouscaller.He’dbeworkingtogetback

inMichael’sbedaswellasinsidemyhead.IjerkedonthesparesetofclothesIkeptathisplaceand

headedtothelivingroom.

“No.”Michaelsaid.Hisbackwastome,headlow,hishandonthewallinfrontofhim.“No.I’m

notdoingthat.”Histonelowered.

Istrainedtolisten.

“Iamnotfuckingaroundwithhim.”

Breakfastturnedtostoneinmystomach.Itiptoedbacktothebedroomandgrabbedmygear:the

openwalletonhisbathroomfloor,mysocksandrunningshoes.

Michaelfoundmeshovingmyfeetintothecross-trainersbeforeIcouldmakemyescape.

“Whereareyougoing?”

“Someplaceelsesinceyouobviouslydon’twantmehearingyourconversationwithWade.”

Michael’seyesturnedslate-hardasheyankedonsomesweats.Hedidn’tsayanything.

“That’s what I thought.” I stood and shoved my wallet into my pocket. “I ran into him this

morning,hangingaroundoutside.”

“Yousawhim?”

“Yep.HewantedtoletmeknowI’dneverbegoodenoughforyou,especiallysinceI’mtoolame

tocomeout.”Ifoldedmyarmsovermychest.Myjawmusclemusthavebeenleapinginangerand

worry.

“Wait.So,that’swhatthewholefuckingintheshowerthingwasabout?”

Isnortedandheadedforthedoor.

Michaelfollowed,slammingthedoorassoonasIopenedit.“Youneededtoreassertyourselfor

somethingbecauseyoudoubthowIfeelaboutyou?”

“No, you jackass. I needed to be with you because I want you and I fucking love you and you

haven’thadtheballstosayitback.”

Michaelsuckedinabreath.

He shook his head and moved out of my way. “He called to say he won’t unlink our joint bank

accountorputtherestofmyfurnitureinstorage.”

AKA,heisn’tlettingyougo.

TheangerWadesparkedearliercamebackwithafury.Michaelhadn’teventriedtoexplainwhy

hecouldn’ttellmehelovedme,insteadthrowingpansy-assWadeinmyface.Iwassickofit.

“Doeshereallyknowaboutus?Becausehesureashellseemedtothinkhedid.”

Michaelwheeledmearound.“Nooneknowsaboutus.Remember?Becauseyoudon’twantthem

to.”

“IreallythinkIshouldgonow.”

“Maybeyoushould.”Hisglareneversoftened.

Iflungopenthedoor.“MaybeIwon’tcomeback.”

“Yeah?Don’tletthedoorhityourassonthewayout,champ.”

Inthehallway,Iclampedmyteethdownhard.Somethingsuresmelledfunkyaboutthiswholedeal

because Wade definitely knew, and Michael was in denial. Fuck me, I was in denial about Michael

apparently.

IguessedourI’mgayforyouhoneymoonwasover.

Iwassickwithfearandjealousyandsuspicion.Thenextfewdayswererockyatbest,riddledwith

athousandunansweredquestionsatworst.

MichaelandImetatthegym.Wedidourschtick.Theschtickincludednew,extremeworkouts.It

wasn’tenoughtoliftweightsandpracticepunches.MichaelputmethroughthewringerasIpivoted

inhumanlyheavybarbellsverticaltothefloorfromonesideofmetotheother.

He had me bent over backward on a tilted bench press to crunch up, throw a basketball at him,

catch it, and return to my upside down position only to repeat the ab-crunching maneuver another

ninety-ninetimes.

DevlinwentoverandabovetomakesureIknewhowmuchthisnextmatchagainstTheTornado

fromTorontomeant.

SeanwatchedMichaelandmewithall-too-knowingeyes.

Michael?Heignoredmeunlesshewaspunchingme.

Several days later when a knock sounded on my door, I expected Anya for our HBO Game of

Thrones popcorn party. What? Those were the few empty calories I allowed myself to eat while I

suppedonthemedievalfantasyconcoctedbyMartin’sbrilliantmind.

Michaelstoodoutside,holdinganavyblueinsulatedbag.Hedidn’tsayanything.Hedidn’tlookat

me.

“Youwannacomein?”

“Ibroughtyourdinner.”Heofferedthezipperedbagtome.

“I’vebeendoingokayonmyown.”

Hissadeyesfoundmine.“Haveyou?BecauseIhaven’t.”

The wall I’d built up blasted apart. “Jesus Christ, Michael. I’m a mess without you.” My voice

broke.

When I pulled him through the door, the bag swung wildly, probably upending the food. Who

cared?

Hedroppedthebagtothefloorthenourhandswereallovereachother.

“I’msorry,”hewhisperedbetweenkisses.

“Bullshit.”God,hislips,I’mstarvedforthem.

Ithreadedmyfingersthroughhishairandslantedhisfacetomine.Mykisswasdeep,plunging,

brutal.Myhiphitthecounter.Myfoothitthebagoffood,andIlaughed.

“Icaneatlater.RightnowIwanttoeatyou.”

“Imissedyou.”

Ichuckledforthefirsttimeindays.Withhisjeansopenedandrolleddowntohisupperthighs,I

kneeledinfrontofhim.

Ireacquaintedmyselfwithhiscock.“Missedyou,too.”

Hejerkedmyheadup.“Notjustthis.”

Hismeatfellheavilyagainstmycheek,thatonethrobbingveinbeatingagainstthecornerofmy

mouth.“No.Everythingaboutyou.Everythingwithyou,sweetheart.”

AndIwasdonewithtalking.IhadhimdownmythroatwhereIchuggedonhim.Heclaspedme

closerwithhishandsinmyhair.Hefilledmymouth,andhisthickpressureonmytonguegotmeoff.

Iwasreadytocomemyselfwithoutasingletouchtomycockwhenanotherknocksounded.

Fuck.

Iheldhistipinsidemymouth,mumblingaroundit.“Anya.”

“What?”Hedrilleddownmyesophagusandpulledout.

Salivatrailedfrommypartedlipstohisrigiddick.“Anya’shere.”

“Why?”Hishandsfistedinmyhair.

Ilungeduptokisshisbelly.“HBO.GameofThronesnight.”

“Ithoughttheseasonwasover.”

“Amazonstreaming.We’readdicted.”

“Really?” One of his eyebrows rose. “I’ll be over there”—he motioned to the double-huge,

leatherclubchairinmylivingroom—“andwecanplayagameofthronestogether.”

Deal.

Irushedtothedoor,draggingupmysweats.Anyatookonelookatmyflushedfaceandsmiled.

“I...umm...”

“EesMishka,yes?”

“Ja?”Okay,thatprobablycameoutasGerman.

Sheshovedaboxintomyhands.“Forbreakfast.Inbed.Gogethim,lion.”

“Ithinkit’stiger?”

“Vhatevs.”Anyawavedanddisappeareddownthehall.

Ishutthedoor.NowIhaddinnerandbreakfastwaiting,andMichaelwaitingforme.

Hewasn’tinthelivingroom,though.Ifoundhiminmybedwiththecoverspulleddownandall

hissmoothgold-glowingskinonshow.

“I’m sorry.” I dropped my sweats and crawled between his open legs. “It’s the stress of the title

matchgettingtome.”

Hisarmscurledaroundme.Hisheelsdugintomybackside.Myflaredcockheadnudgedhispert

butt.

“Iwasajackass.IjustwishWadewouldgohome.Imissedyou.”

“Fuckme,sweetheart,”Ibreathedagainsthislips.

When he rolled me to my back, I clasped his hips. The tiny tight nibs of our nipples rasped

togetherashedrapedhimselfontopofme.Hiswordswerehotmurmursinmyear,butnowherenear

ashotashiscocksolderingagainstme—thickwithwant,slickwithlube,wideningme,wieldingme

open.

This lovemaking was painful in its intensity, unlike the shower fuck, which had been ferocious.

Michaelspreadmeopen,spearedinsideme,scoopedmeintohisarms.Hisgazeswamintominewith

everyemotion-fueledthrust.Hefilledmybody,sizzledmysoul,anddazzledmewithhisbeauty.

Thewayhemoved,hismouthonmine,themomenthestartedthrustingfasterbecausehecouldn’t

holdoffanylonger...

Hetookmyasswithtightjerkinglungesattheend.Igaspedhisnamethroughalingeringclimax,

comingbetweenthedampcaveofourbellies.Findinghislips,Iwatchedhiseyesdriftclosedashe

huggedmetohim.

Itracedhismouthandtheshapeofhiseyes.Runningmythumblightlydownhisnose,Ilaughed

whenhe grumbled inhis sleep. Ikissed his lips oncemore, watching thefrown disappear from his

forehead.

I woke Michael later with touches instead of words. We made love again—the same agonizing

almost-heartbreakfeelingfuelingmetotakehimasdeeplyintomybody,intomysoulasIcould.

I felt this, him, us slipping through my fingers even while I drew his mouth to mine and kissed

himuntilIcouldfeelnothingbuthim.

The next week, I was making my way back to my place during the early morning hours when

Devlincreptfromaroundacornerinthehall.Ambushedtwiceintwoweeksbypeoplewhowouldn’t

letMichaelandmebe,mytrackrecordsucked.

I continued walking past him like I didn’t even see him. He didn’t care. He dogged my heels,

goingfullsteamaheadwiththehomophobicspiel.

“SneakingaroundlikeahornyteenagerwithMichael,huh?”

“Iwouldn’thavetosneakifyou’dcutmesomeslack,”Itossedbackathim.

“Bullshit.You’renevercomingout.You’retooscared.”

Well,therehehitmysorespot,maybeevenmyblindspot.

Iwheeledaroundandgotrightinhisgrill.“IfyouthinkI’mgoingtoletyoudictatemylovelife,

who I love, you’ve got another fucking thing coming, Dev, because I’m sick of this whole lying-

about-who-I-really-amthing.”

Devflinched,buthewouldn’tbackdown.Nothim.Hewasthemeanestbullyontheblock,andI

usedtothinkIwasluckytohavehiminmycornerbecauseofit.

“DonotusethatwordaboutMichael.Youareinbigtroubleifthisgetsout.Onemorefight,Liam.

Justone.Holdittogetheruntilthen.”

IflippedhimoffandthrewopenthestairwelldoorsoIcouldmakeafastescape.

“Remember,yourfamily’scountingonyou,champ.”

ChapterThirty-Two

StingsLikeaBee

IDIDN’TNEEDDEVLIN’Sreminderaboutmyfamilytounderstandtheimportanceofkeepingalid

onmysexuality.Hiswordsateatmethough.AndWademayhavefinallyreturnedtoChicago,buthis

jabs about Michael and me continued to rankle. Maybe he was right. Maybe he did know Michael a

hellofalotbetterthanIdid.

TheupsidewasIwasalmostalwaystoophysicallydrainedtogiveanycredencetoanythingother

thanthingslikemakingmyarmsandlegsmove,andmovingairinandoutofmylungs,courtesyof

Michael’sbrandnewmakehimtrainuntilhecriesregime.

ThedownsideofthatwassometimesIwasalmosttoowipedouttotakeadvantageofMichael’s

unstoppable ass, his goddamn hot cock, and the itty bitty stud-boy briefs and jockstraps he paraded

aroundin.Nowthatrighttherewasacrime.

I was embarrassingly close to nodding off on one such night when Michael let himself in and

landedontopofmeonthecouch.

“Didyouseethenewstonight?”

Ihadn’tseenanythingmuchbutthebackofmyeyelids.Ishookmyhead.

Clicking on the TV, Michael sat on the edge of the sofa, his eyes glued to ESPN. And showing

nowonESPN?Thekissthatmust’vebeenseenaroundtheworld.Thefirstmale-on-maleinthesports

worldkiss.ThatJimmyFontainehadballs.I’dgivehimthat.

“Whatdoyouthink?”Michaelaskedme.

Christ.Idrewahandthroughmyhair.Nowwasprobablynotthetimetoaskhimwhathewanted

metothink.“It’skindofsexy?”

What?Itwaslikefreeporn.Youcouldn’tblameaguywho’dexperiencedalotofhisfirstsexual

encountersviaGayTube.

Michaeljumpedtohisfeet,loomingaboveme.“That’sit?”

Sothatwasthewronganswer.

“Nah.It’scool.It’sreallytouching.He’sfuckingbrave.”Ihurriedtosaveface.

“It’s nothing short of amazing, babe. Groundbreaking! Think of all the people seeing this. And

he’sanNFLdraftpick!”Michaelgrabbedmyhandsandpulledmeuptohim.“Thinkaboutwhatthis

means.JustlikeJimmyyouhavethechancetomakeahugeimpactonsportsmediaandaudiencesfor

theLGBTcommunity!”

“What?”Ibrokefreeofhishold.“Ican’tdothat.”IpointedattheTVwherethekisswasonrerun,

overandoveragain.

“Whynot?What’ssobadaboutkissingme?”Stubbornly,Michaelfollowedmetothetelevision,

whichIturnedoff.

“There’snotadamnthingbadaboutkissingyou,butI’mnotreadytobetheex-cage-fighter-gay-

mascot.Jeeesus.”Mystomachrolledintoknotsatthemerethought.

“Thenmaybeyou’renotthemanIthoughtyouwere.”Hisquietwordspushedmeovertheedge.

“That’scrap,Mikey,andyouknowit.JustbecauseI’mnotready—”

“Howlonguntilyou’reready?Months?Years?There’salwaysgonnabeanexcuse,isn’tthere?”

“That’s so not fucking true! I love you, can’t wait to be open about you.” I reached to grab his

arm,buthejerkedaway.

“Bullshit. I can’t touch you after a fight. I can’t kiss you during the most important moments of

your career, like that.” He pointed at the black TV screen. “I won’t hide in the closet with you!”

Dragginghisfingersthroughhishair,hestaredatme.“Doyouknowwhatitfeltliketheonetime

youtookmeonadateyoumadesurenooneelsewouldseeus?LikeIwasyourdirtylittlewhore

secret.”

“You’re talking about Keens?” I was bewildered, but he nodded. “You certainly didn’t complain

thatnight,didyou?AsIrecallyoucouldn’twaittogetintomypantsafterward.”

“BecauseIthoughtyou’dchangesoonerratherthannever.”Hewasspittingmadnow.

Ibristledinhisface.“AndItoldyouIneedtowinthefuckingtitlebeltfirst!”

Heleanedagainstthewall,andhisvoicequieted.“Doyouknowhowmuchithurtsmeyoucan’t

reallybewithme?”

“Michael.”Ibroughtmyhandstohisfaceandlookedforoneglimmerofhopeinhiseyes.My

heartclenchedsohardithurt.“ItkillsmetothinkI’mhurtingyou.Idon’twannahurtyou,notever.”

Iwatchedhimswallowhard,anditbroughttearstomyeyes.

“I’mout.Imadetheleapforyou—hopingyou’djoinme—andI’vemademypeacewithwhoand

howIam.Ican’t...”Hefreedhimselfofmyhandsandloweredhishead.“I’mnotgoingbackthere.

I’mnothidingwhoIamagain.Notevenforyou.”

Mythroatconvulsedasmygutplummeted.IcouldbarelymakewordscomeoutandwhenIdid,

theywerehoarse,croaky.

“Oh,God.You’regonnabreakmyheart,aren’tyou?”Allthelifedrainedoutofmeonthespot.

“Idon’tevenknowifyourheartisminetobreak,Liam.”

“Howcanyousaythat?”Isurgedagainsthim.“Howcanyoupossiblyfuckingsaythattome?I

loveyou.ItoldyouIloveyou!”

“Butyouwon’tshowit.Youwon’tevenholdmyhandinpublic.”Pleading,tear-filledeyeslifted

tomine,andhiscrushedexpressionsqueezedmyheartagain.

“Ishowittoyou.Don’tyougetit?You’retheonlyonewhomatters.Notanyoneelse.Michael,

pleasedon’tdothis.”

“You’retheonewho’sdoingit.OrshouldIsay,notdoingit?”Hebitback.

Hepunchedback,andhepushedmeawayfromhim.

“IsthisbecauseofWade?Areyougoingbacktohim?”Myworstfearsboiledoverasdeeppain

slicedthroughme.Worsethanthepunches.Thebruises.Thecuts.

Hescoffedindisbelief.“Whydoyouthinkeverythingcomesbacktohim?Thisisaboutyouand

me.”

“BecausehetrackedyouheretoNewYork,andhe’sstillhere.”ItouchedMichael’schest,above

hispumpingheart.

“IlefthimFORYOU!”Michaelboltedfortheentryway.“Youneedtogetoveryourinsecurities

andcometogripswithwhoyouare,becauseyou’reagoddamnmess,Liam.”

“Fuckthat.No.”Iblockedthedoor.“Youarenotgettingawayfrommethateasily.”

WranglinganangryMichaelintomyarms,Ipulledhimwithmetothebedroom,slammingthe

doorbehindus.

That closed door became the perfect surface to take out all our intense aggression. Clothes

snatchedoff.Handsdugintoflesh.Ourteethdrewbloodthattimeinsteadofourfists.

“Youdon’tbelievewhatIfeelaboutyouisreal,sweetheart?”Istrokedourdrippinghardcocks

together.

“Idon’tthinkyouhavetheballstogothroughwithit,baby.”

Wrongwords.Thoseweresothewrongwordstosay.

“Oh yeah? But I’ve got the cock to do it.” Snarling into his mouth, I met the wet clash of his

tongue,thehardpressofhisopenlips.

FlippingMichaelaround,Iraisedhishandsabovehishead.“Maybeifyoudon’tmove,I’llshow

you.”

“Doit.Idareyou.Fuckme.Takeme.”Hewidenedhislegsandpushedouthissmoothbareass.

Iracedforacondomandsomelube,droppingdownbehindhim.

“Youhavetheprettiestass,Mikey.”Mytonesoftened.

Myfingertipsglidedoverhistensedbottom.

“Pretty?”Hislegsloosened,andheloweredhisbodytofollowmycaress.

Pressing my head against the backs of his legs, I murmured, “Michael. I love you. I love how

college-smartyouare.Ilovehowcourageousyouare.Ilovethewayyoutryto beat my ass in the

ring.”

Hepeeredoverhisshoulder.“Ithoughtyouwereaimingtobeatmyass,beautiful.”

Arushofbreath—longheld—releasedfromme.Skimmingmylipsuptheinsidesofhislegs,I

snuck my face between his cleft. His hole waited for me, opening wider with each breach of my

tongue. He tasted so good. He smelled so delicious. He sounded amazing, groaning and grinding

downtomeetmylips.

Isplayedapalmonthesmallofhisback.Pullingupbehindhim,Islantedtwofingersinsidehim.

Mymouthmovedtohisneckandhisjaw.“Areyousure?”

“I’malmostneversurewithyou,baby.That’swhyyou’retoodangerousforme.”

Somethingturnedoverinmychest.Igrindedmyforeheadagainsthisshoulder.

“I’mnotbad.I’mnotevil.Notdangerous.”

“No.You’regay.Justlikeme.”

Iswallowedahugebreath.Ismearedonmorelubeandguidedmycocktohisass.

“Doit,”hemoaned.

I charged inside of Michael, thumping his chest against the door. Clinging to his shoulders, I

pounded into him. Thrust after hard thrust had me balls deep in the sweetest tightest heaven ever

created.

Ichewedtheskinofhisneckandsuckedit,leavingaharshpurplelovebite.

“OhChrist, Liam. Everytime. Every timewith you,” he chokedout the words,lifting his ass to

receivemymercilessthrusts.

Islowed.Istilled.Iwithdrew.

“Whatthehellareyoudoing?”Hewhimperedinahuskytone.

“Turnaround.”

Herolledagainstthedoor,andIheftedhimupinmyarms.

“Youcan’t,”hegasped.

“Ican.”Withhisthighswidenedovermyforearms,Iteasedhisentrancewithmyfingersbefore

spreadinghisassanddroppinghimontomycock.

His scream melded with my shout. It didn’t take long for the body-shuddering force of our

fuckingtoturnusintogruntingmalebeasts.PushingMichaelhigher,Idraggedmytongueoverboth

hisnipples,uphisneck,intohismouth.Ibracedhimagainstthedoorthatshookwitheachimpactof

myquicklunges.Iusedmyfreedhandtojerkhimoffincounterpoint.

Hiseyeswidened,andtheyweredarkestgraysurroundinglargeblackpupils.“Oh.OhFuuuck..

.”

Thescaldingwetropesofhiscomepaintingmyhandandstomachweresecondbestonlytohis

assgraspingmycockwithsomuchpressureIrammedintohimonelasttime.

Myorgasmtrippedmeintoablindingwhiteheatthatechoedthesurroundsofhisholesuckingit

alloutofme.WhenIcamearound,whenIloweredhislegstothefloor,Michaeldangledlimplyin

myarms.

“Howcanyoulovemeifyoucan’tbewithme?”Histhroatyaccusationbroughtmebacktoearth.

IfI’dthoughtIcouldfuckitoutofhim,Iwaswrong.

AndMichaelwasright.

IknewfromthebeginningI’dneverbegoodenoughforhim.Iwasfightingalosingbattle.

“DidIhurtyou?”Iasked.

Hewriggledfromthepressofmybodyagainstthedoor.

Pullingonhispantsandshirt,hesaidinalowvoice,“Notwhereyouthinkyoudid.”

“Michael!”Iranafterhimasheslippedoutofmybedroom.

Hespuntowardme.“Don’tstopmefromleavingyouagain.I’mnotstrongenough.”

“Thisisfuckingshit!You’rethestrongestmanIknow.I’mtrying.I’mtryingforyou.”

Acoldhardlooksealedhiseyes.“Youfightintheringwithyourwholeheart.Ineedthatforme

too.”

Igrabbedhiswrist.“Howaboutthis.Idon’twantyouasmytrainer.Iwantyouasmyhusband.”

“What?”Scaredandhopeful,helookedatme.

“Youheardme.”

“I...”

“Jesus,Michael,justbelievemethistime.”Myheartdroppedtomyknees.

Thesadreminderofasmileflickeredacrosshislips.

“I can’t.” His brow furrowed, and he opened the door. “When you’re ready to admit that to the

world,comefindme.”

“Yeah? And when you can tell me you love me, you know where I’ll be!” Righteous anger

invigoratedme.

Iwatchedthesamethingflareinhiseyesbeforehewalkedout,slammingthedoorinhiswake.

ThenIslumpedtothefloorindefeat.

ChapterThirty-Three

AStunningBlow

AFTERTHATTERRIBLE,NEARLYsleeplessnightIwoketoabrightbluesun-filledmorning.The

cheery weather made me feel sick inside about all I’d ruined. Maybe I needed to stop being so

goddamnfatalistic.Itdidn’thavetobeoverbecauseofoneargument.I’dtakeashower,headtothe

gym,catchupwithMichaelthere.I’dapologize,andhopefullyhe’dforgivemelongenoughtomake

itthroughthesenextcouplemonthsoftrainingandthetitlematch.

Feeling slightly less like road kill, I stuck with my plan. After grabbing a quick shower, I was

dryingoffwhenthedoortomyapartmentbangedclosed.

Oh,thankGod.Michael.He’dcometohissenses,too.

Withthetowelwrappedaroundmywaist,Irushedoutofthebathroom.

Devlinnearlycollidedwithmeashestalkeddownthehallway.

“Whatareyoudoinghere?”Ibarkedout.

“Youdon’tknow?”Leaningagainstthewallinfrontofme,hewatchedmewithcoldfury.

Instantfearsurgedthroughme.“Knowwhat?”

Christ,Michaelbetterbeallright.

“IgotMichael’sresignationthismorning.”Hepointedashakingfingeratmeinhisseethingrage.

“Youjustlostthebesttraineryoueverhad.”

“What?”Shockleveledme.

Islumpedagainstthewallastheworldreeledaroundme.

“That’sright.Michaelditchedyou.Youwouldn’tknowanythingabouthischangeofheart,would

you?”Dev’ssnidefaceappearedinfrontofme.

“Not now, Devlin.” I bit out the words because if I took a deep breath or opened my mouth to

speak,I’dfallapartonthespot.

“Yeah.You’vegotonedaytopullyourselftogether.”Hejabbedafingeratmychest.“We’vegota

belttowin,notpersonalissuestoworryabout.Youhaven’tfoughtthislong,thishard,tofuckitall

up.”

Iheldittogetheruntilthedoorshutbehindhim.ThenIracedtothebathroom.AssoonasIleaned

over the toilet, I hurled into it. Everything in my stomach emptied out. The heaves ended in hoarse

sobsthatwrenchedmybody,burningmythroatastearsburnedmyeyes.

When there were no more tears left to cry and I had no voice with which to shout, I dragged

myselftobed.

Humiliation and shame of the worst kind left me hollow. Even if I’d known this would be the

falloutformyactions,Istillwouldn’tpubliclyadmitmysexuality.

Nothingbutacoward.

Michaeldidn’tjustwalkoutmydoor.Hewalkedoutonthejob.Hedisappearedfrommyworld.

Onthebrinkofthebiggestfightofmycareer,I’dlostthebiggestgoddamnbattleofmylife.

IlostMichael.

Probablydeservedit,too.

The following months without Michael were the most miserable I’d ever endured. I thought

growingupavision-impairednerd-boyintheCincinnatihoodhadbeenhard.Thatshithadnothing

onthisfuckingendlesspain.

I’d been adamant about not hiring another trainer. No one could fill Michael’s shoes, not in my

bedandnotinthegym.Partofmydecreewassheerdelusion—orhopefulthinking.Everydayforthe

firstweekIthoughthe’dcomeback.Iimaginedhimwalkingthroughmydoor.Iexpectedtofindhim

inthelockerroom.Icheckedmyphoneformessagesalldaylongandhalfthenight.

Duringthesecondweek,Iredoubledmytrainingefforts,withorwithoutMichael.Beingsleepless

hadoneaddedbonus:Icouldworkoutatallhoursofthenightandday.Fatiguedidn’thitmeashard

astheheartacheofsleepinginabedbymyself.WhenIdidmanagetocatchsomeshut-eye,itwason

thecouch,withthepillowthatstillsmelledlikeMichael.

By the fourth, I knew it was over. I’d never see him again. Sean did the honors of taping and

untaping my hands. I hired an orthopedic massage specialist for my daily doses. I took down

Gideon’spaintingandturneditawayfrommesoitfacedthewallwhereitsat,unlookedat,behindthe

couch.

Washing and changing all the sheets on my bed was the last sign I’d thrown in the towel. I still

couldn’tsleepinmybedroomthough,imagesofMichaelhauntedme—laughing,moaning,fucking

me,makinglovetome...

I couldn’t jerk off anymore because the last time I’d done that had been for Michael’s pleasure

whenI’ddonethedildoshowforhim.Evenmycockwasafuckingtraitor.

Only Devlin finally rejoiced about Michael’s resignation, realizing it for the Hail Mary save to

mycareer—mysecretsexuality—hethoughtitwas.AsIthrewmyselfintotrainingformyfightwith

theTornadofromToronto,myfesteringhateforDevreachednewheights.

“ThisisexactlywhyItoldyoutostayawayfromMikey.Nowyou’reactinglikeaprizedchump,

notachamp,andwedon’thavetimeforthisemoshit.”Hewassohappywithmyreneweddedication

—as if it’d ever flagged—he used my breakup with Michael like a red cape in front of a charging

bull.

Hetauntedmewithit.Gloatedaboutit.

Thatparticularafternoonthegymwasemptyexceptforthetwoofus,andhekeptrilingmeup.

Ignoringhim,Iperformedanotherfiftyold-schoolpunchesonthespeedbag.

“So Michael knows you’re gay. Who else?” Devlin’s head, with the slicked back hair and the

twitchylittlemustache,cameupbehindthequiveringbag.

Ihadhalfamindtoknockouttherowsofhisbleachedwhiteteethwiththespeedingleatherbag.

“Wade,”Ispathisnameanddouble-punchedtheswingingbagwithbothfistsuntilitpingedfrom

thechain.

“Great.Angryex-boyfriend.Waytofuckup,Shaughnessy.And?”

“Anya.Obviously.”

“Well she’s a card-carrying member of the rug-muncher club, so I don’t think we gotta worry

aboutbuyingheroff.”

Igrowled,movingtotheheavyhangingbag,relishingthelargerstrikingsurface.

Apparentlyunawarehewalkedaveryfinelinebetweenfiringmeupandgettinghisfacefucked

up,Devslappedmeontheback.“Bytheway.Keepupthistorturousroutineyou’vegotyourselfon,

andyoujustmightwinagainstDelacroixinVegas.Nicework.”

Gee,thanksforthepeptalk,Devil.

Allthatself-hateandpainandangerandtheloneliness—thesheer,terrible,stomach-turningache

ofmissingMichael—gotchanneledintotraining.

ThiswaswhatIwasgoodat.

Inbustingmyasstobecomethebiggest,baddest,meanestmotherfuckingfightingmachinethere

ever was, I had little time for anything else. That included no more crying myself to sleep over

Michael,worryingaboutwhetherIwasaloser—becauseIfordamnsurewasn’tgoingtolosethetitle

match—orbitingmynailsabouthowIcould’vebeenbetterboyfriendmaterial.

Only a few things cut into my strenuous schedule, and nope, those didn’t include more whiny,

mopey,sad-assmomentsaboutMichaeleither.ImadesurethedepositswentintoMary-Kate’sandmy

bankaccount,andthekidsgottoschoolontimethisyearbyhiringadrivertopickthemup.

Icheckedinwithmymom,ifonlytoassuremyselfshewasn’ttakinganyhitsfromDa.Imade

sureMary-Katefilledouthercollegeapplicationsfortheculinaryartsschoolsbecausesomeonein

thefamilywasgonnagetahighereducation,anditstartedwithher.

I still woke up toward the early hours of dawn, gripped inside nightmares about Michael,

wonderingifhe’dgonebacktoWade.

AnyawasbackintownoneweekinlateAugust.Shetookupmyspareroomaswellashalfmy

sofa.WewatchedGoTrerunswithabowlofpopcornproppedbetweenus.Hershortdarkhairwas

always tousled, unlike the high-gloss, high-towering wig she wore in the ring. The hair made her

nearlyblackeyes,Slaviccheekbones,andfulllipsevenmorepronounced.Ifwewerebothstraight

we’dprobablymakesomeprettycutebabies.Asitwas,wetwodatelessgayssloppedoutonthesofa.

Duringtheshow,Anya’ssharpgazelandedonmemoreoftenthanthegorymishapson-screen.I

hadahardtimeconcentratingonthegoings-on,too.

Even Tyrion, the crippled trickster bedding a whore, and Jon Snow’s trek to the supernatural

realm of the Wall didn’t cut it for me anymore. Fuck, I couldn’t even watch Guy Fieri without

thinkingaboutMichaelgettingonmycaseaboutmyjunkfoodhabits.I’dcuthimfrommylife,my

memories,myeverywakingthoughtanywayIcould,andstillhehauntedme.

“You’rebecomingwalkingcartoon.”Reclinedagainstthearmofthecouch,Anyadugherheels

intomythigh.

“What?”

Shethrewahandfulofpopcornatme.“Acharacter.Argh.”Sheflappedherhandsaround.“Idon’t

knowhowtosay...Annoying.Lame.Takadurnytsya!”Shehuffedinfrustration.

“WhatyoumeanisI’mapatheticloser?”Heardthatbefore.

“Yes,butthateesnoteet.”Herbeautifulfacebrightened.“Acliché!Firstwithsad,brokenhearted

manthing.Boohoo.NowwithIamIncredibleBulk—”

“TheIncredibleHulk?”

“Da.”Anyanodded.“IvillbeatpeopleintodustbecauseIfeelnothing.Youarenotsadman,you

arenotuncaringman.Dosomethingaboutitalready.”

Idoubledover,laughingsohardmygutcramped.Jesus,she’ssoright.

Sheflickedtwofingersagainstmyforehead,bringingmeupfrommylaughingbout.“Yousee?

Coldcase.”

“Probablymorelikesadcaseor,asI’vebeenreminded,closetcase.”

“Yes,both.AtleastIhavehotdatetonight,bucko.”

Well,shit.Iwasthelastlonelygayleftonthecouch.

Anyalefttwentyminuteslater,notinaflurryoflaceandperfume,butinleatherand/ormaybeit

waspleather?

Herlastwords?“Getoffyourselfalready.”

“Youmeangetovermyself?”

“Da.That’svhatIsay.”

A week later, I performed my ritual don’t-care-about-Mikey-not-one-bit stalker routine on his

apartment downstairs. A crew of moving men came and went with cardboard boxes stacked to the

ceiling.

Mygutclamped.Mypalmsgrewclammy.Myeyesightswam.

Wiping blindly at my eyes, I kept walking. I ran down the stairwell, out of the lobby. I just kept

walking.IswervedpastthebakerywhereI’dboughthisbreakfast,therestaurantI’dtakenhimto,the

Iron Fists gym we’d worked out in. I kept my unseeing gaze aimed at the pavement as my heart

crushedbeneathmyfeetonelasttime.

I missed Michael so much my body craved him. My fucking heart ached for him. I wanted his

touchonme,histasteinmymouth.Iwantedtoteasehimuntilhecouldn’thelpbutlaugh,andforhim

towatchmeinactionwiththatpridefulgrinonhislips.

IwantedallthethingsIneverletmyselfhavewithhimamilliontimesover.

StoppinginHudsonRiverPark,Isatmyassonabench.Iinhaledthehotsummerair.Muggyheat

saturated my lungs. Thousands of people survived this sort of setback. Hundreds more found new

love.Whycouldn’tI?Irefusedtobecomeawalking-talking-boyfriend-break-upcliché.

Allittookwasonecall.

GideonandIhadn’thookedupsinceMichael’sreturnfromChicagoinJune.NotthatIplannedon

hookingupwithGideontonight.Iwantedtoexploreotheroptions,seekoutpossibilities.Figureout

ifmycockhadanyinterestinanyoneelse,ever.Fuckme.IsportedablushevenbeforeGideonmet

meattheelevatorthatopenedtohiswarehouse.

“Wow.Idon’tthinkI’veeverseensuchaperfectmalespecimenlooksodamnscared.”Opening

hisarms,hebeckonedmeinside.“Don’tworry,Idon’tbiteunlessyouwantmeto.”

“IthinkImightwantyoutobitetonight.”Myvoicerushedoutinahoarsewhisper.

Oneofhisdarkeyebrowsarched.

“Dessertfirstorthemaincourse?”Hisvoicelowandsilky,Gideonsteppedbehindme.Hedidn’t

touchme,buthisheatwarmedmybackandhiswordsrustledmyhair.“Areyouhungry,Liam?”

Whimperinglowinmythroat,Iturnedtohim.“Starving.”

Hisgazedroppedtomymouth,whichpartedasifhekissedmealready.“Wantataste?”

“Please.”

ChapterThirty-Four

Yes,Yes,No?

GIDEON’SLIPSPURSEDTOWARDmine,otherwisehedidn’tmove.Atthesoftest,lightestbrushof

his mouth, I exhaled and leaned into him. He pulled back, a grin slipping across his very pink lips.

Thosekissescontinued,teasesoftouchthatmademepantandmybellyquiver.

“Areyouscared,Liam?”

Igroaned,shuttingmyeyes.“Yes.”

“Ofme?”

“No.I’mnotsureI’mgonnafeelanything.”Ilookedathimashelickedhisdeliciouslips.“Ijust

wanttofeelsomethingtonight.”

“IthinkIcanhelp.”Graspingmyhand,heledmetoafarcornerofthecavernousroom,anarea

I’dhadnoreasontoexplorebefore.

Thebedlaylowtothefloorand,liketherestofhislivingspace,theplatformwasahedonistic

blendofcushionsandfabricsanddrapes.

Besidethebed,hetuggedmeagainsthim.Tallandslim,hewassodifferentfromMichael.I’mnot

gonnathinkaboutMichael.Notnow.

I focused on Gideon, his smell—earthy with a hint of tobacco—his body pressed to mine. His

erection thickening against my hip. He took me in a deeper kiss, his tongue dividing my lips and

coilingaroundmine.

Iclutchedhisshoulders,willingmyselftoremainhereinthismomentwithhim.

“Youwantmetoundressyou?”Thetoneofhisvoicedropped.

“Notyet.”

“Youwantmetoundress?”

“Yes.”Iwetmylips,andhiseyesdartedtothemotion.

Hisiriseswereadarkergreenwhenhemetmygazeagain.

Asheslowlytookoffhisclothes,Iimaginedthefeelofhisskinbeneathmyhands.Icouldalmost

tellhowhe’dmakelove,inasensual,languidmanner.Hepeeledoffhisshirt,baringhislongtorso.

Themuscleswerechiseled,lean,anddustedwithasmatteringofblackhair.

Whenhishandsdroppedtohispants,mythighstensed.Myfingerscurledintomypalms.

Hegrinnedatmefrombehindthefallofhislongstraighthair.“Areyousure?”

Iswallowedpasttheroughnessinmythroatandnodded.

Heslippeddownthethreadbarejeansandstoodbeforeme.

“You’re incredible.” I stared transfixed, warring with desire and need, and unnamed pain at the

thoughtofbeingwithsomeoneotherthanMichael.

GideonwasthesecondmanI’dpersonallyseenfullynakedinreallife—outsideofalockerroom.

With his gleaming swarthy skin, his long rigid pole with the purplish helmet, the slender hips and

broadshoulders,helookednothinglikeMichael.

ThiswouldbenothinglikeMichael.

Iwantedtofeelrelieved.Icouldn’tdenyGideonturnedmeon.

Approachingmewithpanther-likegrace,hestoppedonepaceaway.Myhard-onthumpedinmy

pants.

“Youcantouch.Istillwon’tbite.”Hesmiledseductively,andImoaned.

Ipulledhimintomyarms.Mymouthsettledonthestrongcolumnofhislongneck.Surrounded

inmaleheat,hardmuscles,thesofthaironhischest,Igroaned.Itriedtogetclosertohim.

Tugging Gideon to me by his hair, I found his lips. Finally, his arms strained around me. He

moanedandtrembled.

“Can I see you? I need to see you. Purely for professional purposes, of course.” He gave me a

slowwink.

Ilethimstripmedown.Everypartofmyrevealedbodymetthesamesexualattention.Hishands

thenhispartedlipscoasteddownmychest.Ijerkedagainsthimwhenhekneeledatmyfeet,hishands

atthefrontofmyjeans.Thebuttonflyopenedwithnimbletwistsofhisfingers,thenmycockswung

free. Gideon yanked my pants down and off. He slid against me on the way up to his feet, his hand

circlingmycock.

Ifeltsomething,ohGodIdid.Ifeltsexyandwanted.

Anditwasgood.

Afterstrokingmeafewtimes,Gideonwaggledmycockinhisfist,slappingitagainsthiswitha

moan.“Oh,you’vebeenholdingout,baby.”

Onlyitwasn’tMichael’sroughvoicecallingmebabyorhisfirmlipsbathingthehollowofmy

throat.

ABORT!ABORT!

Suddenlythisseductionwasn’tright.Itdidn’tfeelgood.IfeltlikeIwascheatingonMichael.

Thisissowrong.

“Fuck!”IpushedGideonoffme.

Helandedontheedgeofthebedwithabounce.

I dragged on my jeans, raked a hand through my hair. “I’m sorry, Gideon. I didn’t mean to use

you.”

“Oh, honey.” He moved backward onto the bed. Stretching out, he displayed the rack of his abs

andthelongleanlegsthatledtohislonghardcock.“Ifyouwereusingmeyou’dbeontopofme

rightnow.”

Thatdefinitelygotareactionfromme.Somydickstillworks.Yay.

Heroseoffthebed.Saunteringtowardme,totallynude,hehandedmemyshirt.

“SexyLiam,youregomightbedeflated,butonepartofyoudefinitelyisn’t.”Hepattedmyass,

proddingmetotheelevator.“Gohome.Strokeoneout.Thinkaboutwhoyoureallywant.I’myour

friendeitherway,butthefunwecould’vehad...Hmm.”

Ipulledonmyshirtthenstoodawkwardlyinfrontofhim.Somethingcunningshinedinhisgreen

eyes.

“DidyouknowI’dreactlikethis?”

“I had a feeling.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “I’d hoped to get to suck your cock first,

though.”

“Gideon...”

“Hey,Idon’tringyourbell.Igetit.Goon,now.”

Iwalkedintothecageoftheelevator.

“Liam?I’llbewatchingyourfightnextweek.Goodluck,myfriend.”

Takingadeepbreath,Iraisedmyhandinthanks.

Outsideonthestreet,Ibeatmyheadagainstthewallasguiltgnawedatme.

I’msorry,Michael.

ThatnightwithGideonwasawake-upcall.Iwasstillsingle-mindedabouttheupcomingmatch.

Determinedtofighttowin.Now,IwantedtofightwiththelastofmyhonorandshowMichaelIcould

bethemanheneededmetobe.

The next Thursday, my entire entourage and I flew to Las Vegas for the mega-fight between

TristantheTornadoandmeattheMGMGrand.ItwasfullcirclesincemylastVegasKOagainstEl

LeónHernandez.Thistimeeverythingwasdifferent.

Mybeefybodyguards,Devlin,Sean,andAnya—whowaspartofthebandwagon—hoppedonthe

privatejetamidaswarmingpressof...well...press.Igaveafewrehearsedone-linersaboutthe

titlematchthatcouldonlybewatchedliveinpersonoronHBOPPV.Ideflectedallquestionsabout

the...well...defectionofmytrainer,MichaelFairweather.

Allofasuddenithitme.IwasalmostasbigapullasGame of Thrones. Maybe Peter Dinklage

wouldbethere.I’dliketoshakehishandforbeingawesomeandmaybegethisautograph,too.

AllofasuddenIlandedbackonearthasthewindknockedoutofme,andIrealizedIwasdoing

thiswithoutthemanIloved.

ThefanfarewaslouderandlargerwhenwelandedinVegas.Peopleshovedcameralensesinmy

face. They shouted questions at me above the overwhelming rumbling roar of voices. Fans pushed

photosatmetosignandhandsatmetoshake.Weworkedourwayagainstthesurgingcrowd.

Idonnedmypublicpersona,poppingposeswithanyonewhoasked,lettingDevlinhandletheflak-

talk from the sports newshounds. Anya had put on her fake hair and high heels. She threw Everlast

BonnyBruisersweatbandsandT-shirtsatthehundreds-strongonslaughtofpeople.

“Hey,doyouthinkPeterDinklageisaboxingfan?”Imurmuredtoher.

“VecanGoogle.”

“DoyouthinkIcangethimtickets?”

Withherhandonmyfaceandasmileonherlips,sheswiftlykissedmeonthecheek.“Ithinkyou

candoanything.”

FLASHFLASHFLASH.

I guessed the cameras caught that one. Unwittingly Anya and I had just added more fuel to our

fakeromancefire.Wouldn’tMichaelbepleased?Not.AtleastDevlingavemetwothumbsup.Urgh.

EventuallywemadeittothewaitingparadeofCadillacSUVsandthenourhotelsuites.Notatthe

MGMwheretheywould’veputusup,butattheMandarinOrientalbecauseIneededtoputsomespace

betweentheupcomingfightandme.Itookpicturesonmyphone,messagingConor,Sash,andM-K.

They were suitably impressed, and I promised to take them on vacation next month, anywhere they

wanted,whetherIwonornot.

Theplanetrip,thehead-tripofallthosepeoplecheeringforme,thelongmonthsoftrainingand

thelongernightsofmissingMichaelgottome.Isankintoaluxuriousbedwithsomesortoffluffy

pillowmattressafterscarfingdownmydailydoseofproteinplusgreenstuffplusthickshakestuff.

Inthemorning,Devlinjoinedmeforbreakfastinmyrooms.Heenteredinasleeklycutsuitand

histrademarkmustache,bearingarmfulsofthedailiesandanotherstackofgossiprags.Me?Istill

woremysweatsandwasarmedwithmyonemugofcoffeefortheday,rumpledwithbedhead.

AwaiterwithasilverservicefollowedDevlininside.Full-fatty,yummy,greasybreakfastforDev

aaaandbarftasticwholewheat,nosalt,nobaconbreakfastforme.Awesome.

Devlin settled into his runny eggs and crispy bacon. I jammed a triangle of dry toast into my

mouth.Hechoked,hisfaceturningbrightred.Icoughed,tryingtoswallowcrumbsthatstuckinmy

throat.

His eyes wide, he punched his index finger against the magazine open in front of him. After a

glugofcoffee,heswore,“Jesus,Mary,Motherfuck!”

Ipeeredatthearticleheslidtomeandsuddenlyfeltliketheearthswallowedmewhole.

HeavyweightTitleHopefulLiamO’ShaughnessyisGay!

“HolyMotherofChrist,”IechoedDevlin.

ChapterThirty-Five

Gay...Pride

“ITWASLEAKED.”

“Yathink?”Devlinwaslivid.

Hequicklyflickedthroughallthenewspapers,tossingthemtomeonebyone.Thebroadsheets,

thetabloids,and—whaddyaknow—E-Network,whenDevflickedontheTV,allcarriedthebignews

aboutmyheretoforeunknownhomosexuality.

“It’severywhere!”Hehissed.

“Icanseethat.”Icalmlyfoldedmyhandsonthetable,takingtheforceofhisanger.

“Who? Who would’ve done this?” Devlin looked in need of new dental work as he grinded his

teethtogether.

RightthenhiscelldancedonthetabletopwithincomingIMs,alerts,emails.Hegrippedtheedge

ofthetable,glaringatme.

WhenIstoodup,Itoweredoverhim.

“Wewerecareful,discreet.”

“Not discreet enough. This shit’s probably already been tweeted all over the universe.” His jaw

poppedwithtension.“Whoelseknew?”

“Doesitmatteranymore?It’sdone.I’mout.”Ithrewupmyhands.

“Itmattersbecausewecangoafterthemforlibel.Bringalawsuit.Sweepthisunderthecarpetas

rumors.Jesus,Liam,areyoureallyallbrawnandnobrains?”

Ilungedforhim.“Yeah,maybeIam.”

Grippinghisthroatinmyhand,Isqueezedashisbreathexpelledfromhislungs.

Heclutchedmywrist,gasping.

“You’vebeenridingmybackfortwoyears,youcunt.TellingmeIcan’tbegay,can’tbewhoI

am.”Isnarledinhisface.“IlostthemanIlovebecauseofit.”

“Liam!”hegasped.

Iheardthedoor.SecondslaterSeanstrolledovertous.Ididn’treleasemyhold.

“Wellain’tthisadandyhow-dofirstthinginthemorning?”Seanstubbedouthiscigarinacoffee

cupsaucer.“Liam,myboy,maybeyoudon’twannachokeyourmanagertodeathtoday?”

PinningDevagainstthewall,IgrowledatSean,“MaybeIdo.”

“Yep. So we’ll add Murder One to your rap sheet and the broadsheets today. When you have a

hugefighttonight.Soundplan.”Hiscrinkledfacelitwithawidesmile.

“Asshole.”IturnedDevlinloose.

Heslumpedintothenearestchair,unwindinghistiefromwhereI’dwrencheditaroundhisneck.

“Weneedtoknowwhodidthis.”

“Wade.”SeanandIsaidittogether.

“Why?”Devlinasked.

“Uh,becauseIwasfuckinghislifelongpartnerperhaps?”Duh.

“Yeah.That’smoredetailsthanIneedtoknow.”

Please,that’sjustthetipoftheiceberg.“Doesn’tmatternow.”

“Liamneedstofocusontonight.”Seansniffedatmypetrifiedtoastpretendingtobebreakfastand

rolledhiseyesheavenward.

Idittoedallofthat.

Devlin’sphonecontinuedtoringnonstop.

He scooted to the table, flicked off the cell, and pocketed it. “Right. We are not addressing this

untilaftertonight’sfightsoyoubetterhopetofuckyouwin.Unlessyouwanttoissueadenial?”

EventhoughIwantedtovomitalloverthefloorandnervesgnawedgiantholesinmystomach,

andmystomachfelltomyfeet,Istoodfirm.“No.It’sthetruth.Letitbe.”

“That’swhatIthought.You’repreparedtomeetthisheadon?”

“Yes.”

“Postfightpressconference.Tomorrow.”Devlinpushedtohisfeetandheadedforthedoor.

“Attaboy.”Seantackedon.

Laterintheafternoon,Ibattledanotherbatchofanxiety.Iflickedthroughthemillionsofchannels

on TV, trying to forget all the shit about to go down, and all the crap that had exploded since the

morning.IhappenedtoskimpastFoxNewsanddroppedtheremotewhenarecognizablefacecame

onscreen.

Ofallthemotherfuckingpeopletoturnupatatimelikethis...itwasmyda,beinginterviewed

aboutthenews.

“Were you surprised to hear the rumors about your son’s sexuality this morning, Mr.

O’Shaughnessy?”

Myfather,thathandsomedevil,thathatefulperson,curledhistopliphalfoffhisteeth.“Manlying

with man is a grave sin. An unnatural, dishonorable passion. Man and woman should be one flesh,

that’swhatOurLordtaught.”

Howinteresting.ThelapsedCatholicwhothoughtSundayMasswasanexcusetodrinkgallonsof

redwineinsteadofhisusualJameson’s,quotingfromtheBibleaboutmyqueerness.

“Isitsafetosayyoudisapproveofhisallegedorientationthen?”Thedickweedinterviewerasked.

“IdisownedhimassoonasIfoundout.”

“Sotherumorsaretrue?”

“Much as I hate to think of sodomy and my firstborn son in the same sentence, yes.” Da’s eyes

sparkledwithmaliciousintensity.“Heshouldneverha’been—”

Mom appeared and knocked him from the frame. “Liam Shaughnessy, Senior, you shut your

mouthrightnowaboutourboy.”

Sheturnedtotheinterviewerandgrabbedhismicrophone.Momhadapparentlybeentothebeauty

parlor,becauseherhairlookedglossy,andshehadprettypinklipstickon.

“Ihaveneverbeenprouderofmyson,Liam.Thereisnoshameinlovingwhoyoulove,beitman

orwoman.Peoplearepeople.Liam,son,ifyou’reseeingthis,Iwantyoutoknowwe’recheeringfor

youtonight,andsowillallthefolksatTheRover.”

“Well,um,thankyou,Mrs.O’Shaugnessy—”

“Oh,there’snoO.ThesportscastersaddthattoournamewhenLiamfights.Theythinkitsounds

moreIrish,Iimagine.”Shewrinkledherpetitenose.

Isnorted,andsoonIcouldn’tstoplaughing.

ItturnedintohugebellylaughswhenSash,Conor,andM-Kjostledintothecamera’sview.

“Wethinkit’sfuckingawesome!”Mary-Kateshouted.

Thetechnicianinchargeofthenetworkbroadcastdelayblewit,becauseM-K’sf-bombwentout

loudandclear.

“Younglady!”Momalmostwhackedheronthebackoftheheadbutthoughtbetterofitonlive

nationalTV.

Conor grinned and opened his mouth to speak. Then he frowned and complained, “Ow, Ma. I

wasn’tgonnacuss.”

Shemust’vepinchedhim.

SashgavethecameramantheRockOnsignthenbeathertinyfisttoherchesttwice,withanod.

I fell back on the couch, smiling. What my da had said would’ve been heartbreaking if I hadn’t

already known for years exactly how he felt about me. Besides, I had the support of the rest of my

family.IquicklyswitchedovertoMSNBCand...shit.ItlookedlikeIhadthesupportofthousands

more people I didn’t even know. They obviously used guerilla tactics against Faux News. The

tickertape at the bottom of their regular newsfeed ran a continuous stream of tweets showing an

outpouringoflovefor#bonnybruiser.

DidIsayshit?ImeantHoly...Shit.Thatpositiveflowofenergyfromaroundtheworldhitme

intheheartharderthananynegativespin.Istartedgettingpumpedupforthefight.

Icanwin.Icandothis.TheTornadofromTorontoisgonnaeatthemattonight.

HourslaterinmyprivatelockerroomIwasnolongerpumpedup.

Iwaspacing.

Althoughtheroomwascold,careoftheACblastingthroughthevents,sweattrickleddownthe

sidesofmyfaceandintothecenterofmyback.AsIpaced,Iswungmyfists.Left, right. Uppercut,

lefthook.Ribsjab-jab-jab.Seanhadleftmetocheckonthesituationinthesold-outGrandarenahalf

an hour ago. It was twenty minutes until knock ’em dead time, but the only thing knocking was my

knees.

Sean came back in, grumbling under his breath. He took one look at me and grabbed my face

betweenhishands.

Iblinkedathim.“I’mscared,Sean.”

Liftingtwofingers,hepointedathiseyes,piercingbrownorbs.“Lookatme,kid.YouknowI’ve

donesomeshitinmydays.Hell,I’veevendoneacoupleguys,too.”

Irearedbackinshock.

“What?Yaknow,circlejerks,youstrokemycock,I’llstrokeyours.Thatkindathing.Whatever.I

know it’s different for you, but trust me, no one who matters gives a goddamn shit who you bang.

Yourfanswantyoutofightyourheartout.Iwantyoutogiveityourall.Theywantashow,andyou

candothatanygivendayoftheweek.”

“Yeah.Okay.”Ishrugged.

Hepunchedmeontheshoulder.“Notyeah,okay.IwannahearI’makiller,I’mamachine.IAM

theIrishBlight!”

Hisenergyslowlyvibratedintome.“Igotit.”

“Rightnowit’spartytime.Gokicksomeassandshowthosescandal-sheetshitheadsittakesareal

mantobeagayman.”

I’dtearedupathisearlierwords,butwhenheputitlikethat...

Heplacedtherobeovermyshouldersandadjustedmyorange,white,andgreenshorts.Hepulled

thehoodovermyhead,andslappedmeonthecheek.

“That’sbetter,champ.Give’emsomethin’toroarabout.”

Wejoggedthroughthetunnels.Therumblegrewlouder.Thewallsshimmeredwiththeescalating

noise.Thedeafeningboomtraveledfromthesolesofmyfeet,upmylegs,andstraightintomyhead.

Energymainlinedintomyveins.Thiswasbetterthananymanufactureddrugknowntoman.Had

tobe,becauseasthenoiserolledoverme,itfilledmewithfeelingsopure,Icould’vebeendosingon

Webrokefreeofthefinaltunnelandintothearenatoavastroarofsound.

The huge indoor stadium shivered it was so alive with people, music, lights, banners, and the

massive JumboTron. It was an absolute feeding frenzy. Fists pumped when I appeared. People

screamed.TheyreachedouttotouchmeasIrandownthecordonedoffaisle.

Theplacewaswall-to-wall,floor-to-ceilingrabid.

“YouShookMeAllNightLong”blastedfromamillionspeakers.

Anotherthousands-loudshoutechoedacrossthejam-packedMGMGrand.

I’dsteeledmyselfforslursandboos,andIheardafewofthose,butthoseassholescouldkissmy

motherfuckingass.Withaferalgrinonmyface,IswaggeredtotheringandwaitedforAnyatoslide

opentheredropes.Dressedinhotpink,skyscraperheels,andevenhigherhair,shewinkedatme.

AsIpumpedaroundthecenterofthering,thesheersizeofthearenaandthewildmayhemofthe

crowddwarfedme.Sorry,Tyrion.Imadeaquicksignofthecross.

Thecrazinessofgettinghere,tothispoint,revvedmeup.

TheawesomeuproarswelledagainwhenTristanDelacroixenteredthestadium.Inredandwhite

silk,hemovedtowardthering.

“Rock You” by Helix blared out. He got closer. The fans’ noise, booming at his appearance,

humbledme.

WhenTristanenteredtheringIgotmyfirstgoodlookatthetitleholder.Hehadscalp-cuthair,a

gap between his teeth I aimed to knock wider, and pure menace written all over features that might

lookwholesomeinanyothersetting.Inallthemonthsofstudyinghim,thiswasourfirstface-to-face.

Wehadn’thadanyprefightpressparties.AndIhadonechancetocold-cockhim.

WetooktoouroppositecornersastheMCannouncedourfight:

“Foronenightonly,webringCanadaandAmericatogether!Crossingtheboldnewfrontierof

the fighting world in this sold-out Heavyweight Title Match! Who will win? Who will hit the mat

first?”

Thecrowdbellowed,stompedtheirfeet,jumpedfromtheirseats.

“In theeeee left corner, weighing in at two hundred and twenty-five pounds, ladieeees and

gentlemen, the kid who came from nowhere. The challenger who swung his way through UFC, the

unrivaled knockout Knockout who has taken the heavyweight world by storm, our Irish Blight, our

BonnyBruiser!LiamOooooo’Shaughnessy!”

ChapterThirty-Six

OnaWingandaPrayer

WHOOPS,HOLLERS!ICOULDN’TevenhearmyselfthinkordigestasingleawordSeansaidto

me,andIbarelyhadtimetoblinkbeforetheMCturnedtotheTornado.

“Onmyright,weighinginattwohundredseventeenpounds,inredandwhite,aboxinglegendin

his own right, the undefeated Heavyweight Champion of the Wooooorld! Our defender, The

RumblingThunder,TheTorontoTornado,TristanDelacroix!”

Thenoiseblastedtoear-burstinglevel.

Raisetheroofmuch?Forthefirsttime,Itrulyfeltliketheunderdog.

Sean took off my robe and massaged my shoulders. He fitted my mouthguard and squirted

Gatoradebetweenmylips.

“YougetthejitterstonightandI’llmakesureyou’refuckedintheshitterbysomeoneyoudon’t

liketomorrow,kid,”Seanthreatened.

Iclenchedmyasscheeks,myeyeswidening.

“I’m kidding, ya fuck.” Time for another sign of the cross. “Fight hard, fight to win, fight with

pride,myboy.”

Itappedthecrossonmychest.WithnoMichaeltobeseen,Ihadtogiveitoverforsafekeeping.

Seanunhookedthechainandcoileditinhiswrinkledpalm.

“He’ll come back, ya know? In the meantime, I’ll keep this right in my pocket, ready to put on

whenyouwipethefloorwiththattosserfromToronto.”

Mythroatsuddenlycloggedwithemotion.Toosoon,therefcalledusintothering.

StandingbeforetheTornadoandme,herepeatedtherulesweknewbyrote,adding,“Fightclean,

fightwithprideforyoursport.Blessyouboth.”

BeforeIknewit,thefirstbellrang.

TheTornadodidn’ttakeanychancesorfeelanyofmyhits.Inthefirstthirtyseconds,hesplayed

meagainsttheropes.HisfistspummeledmymidsectionuntilIlostmybalanceandface-plantedon

themat.

I gained my feet, springing right back into action. Tristan was not getting a one-hit knock-out

outtame.Fuckthat.I’dringhisbellfirst.

I weaved in front of him to the left and the right with my fists flying at his face from opposite

directions.Splat-splat-splat.JustwhenhefiguredoutmyPing-Pongtacticsandmovedtoprotecthis

face,Idouble-whammiedtheleftsideofhisribs.Irepeatedmysluggerhitsontherightside,going

formaximumimpactastightvibrationsshimmiedupmyarms.

Thatshithadbettergetmesomenumberswiththescorers.

IheldtheTornadoinalock-hold,buthequicklywormedhiswayoutfromundermyarms.He

bounded in front of me, wearing a mean grin between his teeth. Teeth I was gonna knock from his

gums.

Surging forward, I amped up my punch-count on his ribs. And when the Tornado bent over in

classicprotectiveposture,hegavemeacleanshotathisbustedrightcheek.

Punch-punch-punch!

Itightenedmyarmaroundhisthroattodrawhimup.

“BREAKITUP!”therefyelled.

Whatever.

RoundTwofoundmeonthelosingendofthebout.Booshissedfromthecrowd.Theeventsofthe

day—hell,thepastthreemonths—threwmeoff.Shitwasn’tmeshing.Themagicwasn’tthere.

Michaelwasn’there.

Thenexttworoundsweren’tpretty.Theyweregritty,violent.Tristanwasaheavyhitter.Knowing

thatfromstudyinghismatcheswasatotallydifferentgamefromexperiencingitinactionandwith

hardphysicalimpactonmybody.

Myfacethrobbed.Mybustedlipgushedblood.Theirontastefilledmymouth.

ButIbarelyfeltthepainIknewwouldhitmetomorrow.

TheTornado?Fuckthatshit.He’sthegoddamnFreightTrainfromToronto.

Devlinscreamedatme,butmyearswerealreadyclogged.Seanplacedicepacksonmebetween

eachround.Anyaeggedonthefoaming-at-the-mouthcrowd.Thecutonmylipwastakencareof,my

splitcheek,too.

Seanclaspedmyheadbetweenhishands.“He’saheavyhitter.”

Irolledmyeyes.Noshit. Right? I knew that, I needed something better. I needed fucking divine

intervention.

IneedMichael.

“Stayonyourfeet,kid,andhopeyououtlastDelacroix.”

Iwantedmorethantooutlasthim.IwantedtoblasthimtothematuntilIcarriedhisbeltoutofthe

ring.

Scanningtheseaoffaces,IsoughtaglimpseofMichael.Isawaflashoftumblingblondlocks,

butitcouldn’tbehim.

The rounds soared past in a flurry of Mach-speed punches and bone-crushing blows that would

havesentnormalmencrawlingtothenearestguttertopuketheirgutsout.Forus,itwasjustpartof

theextremejob.

ItriedtomakesureIwastactical,defensive,infullpossessionofthisbout.Thatstrategicshitwas

difficult when every time my ears rang after another of the Tornado’s blows, I thought it was the

soundtoendthatround.

He snapped, flashed, and danced across the mat. I crunched his cheekbone every chance I got. I

pummeled his ribs until the musculature looked like chewed-up sausage meat. The two of us burly

bruiserswereevenlymatched,whichmeantalotofpeopleprobablymadealotofbucksfrombetting

onusbashingoneanother ’sbrainsin.

The eleventh round, the second to last, I could hear Michael chanting in my head—the boxer

whisperer.That’sright,baby,likeafreighttrainhe’sslowtostart.Allhehasishisknuckle-bustfinish.

You’refaster.Useyourjabs,danceonthosefeetlikeIknowyoucan.Nomorehits.Youcan’taffordto

takeanymorehits.

Swimmingthroughhazypain,Icameoutofmycorner,blastingtheTornado.Istayedjustbeyond

hisreach,poundinghimonallsides.Fast,faster,fastest,myfistsblurred.

FinallyIhadTheChampontheropes.

DINGDINGDING!

“That’s more like it, you fucker. You wanna give me a heart attack here? Keep it up, kid.” Sean

growleddirectlyintomyswellingear.

RINGRINGRING!

Seansplashedmewithliquidandshovedmebackintothecenter.

Iwasreadytobooyahthisshit.Forme,forMichael,forMa,mybrother,andmysisters.Gunning

hardwiththelastofmyenergyIslammedTristan’sface.WhenhespunawayfrommeIfollowedup

withmyglovesdoinghammer-timeonhiskidneys.

TheTornadodroppedtothemat.Hiseyesrolledback.Hegroaned,spittingbloodoutbetweenhis

alreadyredmouthguard.

Lumberingtohisknees,heshookhishead.

Dizziesmuch,braw?

Iwasveryclosetosplattingonmyassrightnexttohim.IusedwhatlittlefuelIhadremainingto

strafeleftandright,waitingforhimtoTimber!onceandforallorstaggertohisfeet.

Onefootcameupunderhim.Hismassivelymuscledthighsquiveredundertheeffortofdragging

himself to standing. When he jerked up on both legs, his head hung low. His arms swung in slow

locomotionfromlefttoright.

Hecouldn’tmove.Hedidn’tmakecontact.ButIsureashelldid.

Ibeathimbackintotheturnbuckle.EverypunchIlandedpoundedhisribs.Ifinishedwithonelast

lefthook,southpawalltheway.

TheTornadogruntedoutalonggroan,crumplingtothemat.

Thecountstartedoutsidethering,andthechantsfromtheaudiencetookoverthetimekeeper.

TherefkneelednexttoTristan.“SEVEN,EIGHT,NINE,TEN!”

K-motherfucking-Ooooo-Yeah!

Therefraisedmyarm.“IntrooooducingtheNewHeavyweightChampionoftheWORLD,Liam

Oooo’Shaughnessy!”

I couldn’t frigging believe it. Not even when they placed the heavy belt with the huge-ass

medallionaroundmywaist.

Myskinshiveredallthewayfrommyfists—whichIcouldn’tfeel—tothesolesofmyfeetstill

bouncingonthemat.

Holyfuck!

I’ddoneit.I’dwonit.

People rushed into the ring. My bodyguards pushed all but the inner posse away. My ears rang

louderthananybellseverhad,butIstillheardtheinsane,impossibleroaroffansgonewild.

My bruised and beaten face beamed up on the Tron. Anya swooped in with a kiss and a hug.

Devlinshoutedintohisphonefromonesideofhismouth—nodoubtsettingupmorejunketsforme

—andcongratulatedmefromtheother.

Sean turned me around and placed my cross on my neck, securing the chain. “Way to fucking

fightitout,boy.”

EmotionshitmeharderandfasterthanallthepunchesTristanhadlaidintome.Tearsleakedfrom

myeyes,andIthrewmyarmsaroundSeanandAnyaasthereffacedmenorth,south,east,andwest

toresoundingcheers.

The Tornado finally came to, and he limped up to me. We slung our arms around each other,

mostlytoholdoneanotherup.

“Man, for all the trash talk about you today, you don’t fight like a girl,” he mumbled through

punch-swollenlips.

Ipulledhimcloser.“JustbecauseI’mgaydoesn’tmeanI’mapussy.”

“Lastwords,Liam?”TheMCbrokeupourfriendlyhuddle.

“Yeah.Therearealotofrumorsflyingaroundaboutme.That’sokay.Igetit.I’llcleareverything

uptomorrowatthepressconference.”

The announcer tried to grab his mic back, but I held it to my mouth. “One other thing. Peter

Dinklage,Ihopeyougotthetickets,becauseyouarekickass,myman.”

Anotherroundoffeverishcheersandchantswentup.

ChapterThirty-Seven

TheMotherfuckingChamp

BACKINMYSUITE,Iwastoosoretomove,tootiredtothink,toostrung-outtosleep.Ineededto

fuckitallout—withMichael.Orjustfuckingsnugglewithhim.Thiswinwasmajor.Freakinghuge!

Itwasmeaninglesswithouthimtoshareitwith.

IatewhateverAnyahandedme.Igroanedwhenmynot-Michaelmasseurhandledme.Iflopped

intobedandflippedaroundforthewholenight.

TryingtosleeponMichael’susualsidethenmine,Ieventuallygaveup.SnatchingtheoneT-shirt

I’d saved of his that traveled everywhere with me, I folded it beneath my head. The soft cotton—

washedandwornoverandoveragain—stillsmelledlikehim,andIwasasuckerforhisscent.With

Mikey’smasculinesmellwaftingfromtheTballedbeneathmyheadandtuckedbetweenmyfingers,I

conkedout.

The next morning passed too quickly for my liking. At noon it was time to face some major

motherfucking music. Delivered back to the MGM Grand, my bodyguards bum-rushed me to the

auditorium.

Anyasatinthefrontrow.Sheblewmeakissasmyprotectiondetailmarchedmetotheforefront.

Alongtablelinedwithwaterbottlesandmicrophonesawaitedme,Seantotherightofthecenterseat,

andDevtotheleft.

TheplacewasaspackedasthenightbeforewithnewsponsorsI’dsuddenlypickedup.Delegates

fromsportsdrinks,sodapop,andathleticgearwereouttogetmeallovertheirbrands.

Representativesfromthemajornetworksandnewsworldpackedinbesideahundredhandpicked

pro-BonnyBruiserfans.We’dseehowmanyofthemwereleftstandingafterIhadmysay.

I sweated bullets. I might need some high-octane meds after this. Sore, swollen, and severely

bruised,Iwasreadytoownthis.Me.WhoIreallywas.AfterIpukedagain.

Tappingmymic,Icalledthismeetingtoorder.Forovertwoyears,Devlinhadwantedmetodeny

mysexuality.Fuckthat.

“So,folks,Ibetyou’vegotsomequestions.Takeitalittleeasyonme,okay?I’mnotfeelingso

hottoday.”

Firstuptobatwasaguyinglasseswayworsethanminehadeverbeen.Isquintedmyeyestoread

hisbadge.ESPN.Nice.

“Congratulationsonyourwinlastnight,Liam.”

“Thanks,man.”

“Soaretherumorsaboutyoutrue?Areyouinfactgay?”Hefollowedup.

Ifoldedmyhandsonthetable,rubbingmyknuckleswithmyfingertips.

Iliftedmyeyestogazearoundthestandingroomonlyarena,ingestingonedeepbreathbefore

lettingripwiththetruth.“Yeah.I’mgay.”

QuestionsflewatmefasterthananyofTristan’spunches.Icouldn’tkeepupasreportersspatout

theinterrogatories.

Holding up one hand, I whistled into the mic to silence everyone. “Goddamn. Just hang on a

second.Let’sbeperfectlyclearhere:Iamhomosexual.Idigguys.Or,Iguess,oneguymorethanthe

rest.”

“Who?Who?”Aroundofhollerssoundedbackatme.

“I’m not done yet.” I waited for the junket jackals to stop flapping their gums. “But I am done

hiding.Ihavenothingtobeashamedof.”

Beside me, Devlin snorted, and the press posse pounced all over that. “Mr. Finkelstein, you’ve

beenwithLiamsincethebeginning.Whatdoyouthinkofthisnews?”

Dev got more heated up by the minute. “I always thought having one faggot on the team was

plenty,”hesnarled.

Iswungmyheadtowardhim.Yougottabekiddingme.Hewassogoingdown.

“AndI’vejustdecidedhavingabadmouthingbigotonmyteamisonetoomany.Saygoodbyeto

yourcashcow,asshole.You’refired.”

Ididn’tneedtotakeaswing.Ididn’tevenneedtostandup.Mywordswerestrongenoughtolevel

Devlin.ButifIgotthechancetopunchhislightsoutlater,I’ddefinitelytakeit.

Hejumpedfromhisseat.“Youhavenoideawhatyou’vejustdonetoyourcareer.”

“IthinkIdo.I’mtheheavyweightchampionoftheworld.Ordidyouforgetthat?”Ismirkedat

him.

AsDevstalkedfromtheraisedstage,Seanlitacigar.“Justclearingoutthebadairwithmorebad

air,folks.”

AsifIcouldn’tlovetheoldgeezermore.

“Sean,areyoustickingaround?”someonehollered.

“Hell,yes.DoIlooklikeIain’tbeenupanddowntheblockadozenhundredtimesalready?Say

what you want and spin it like a fucking lazy Susan, but this kid has more punch, more heart, and

moregaddamnmovesthananyotherboxerI’veeverbeenwith.”Hisnoseflaredasheinhaled,and

thetipofhisstogieburnedcoal-red.“He’sabeaut,gay-lovingbahstadandall.”

“Liam,yousaidyou’dtelluswhotoday!”

MyattentionturnedfromSeantothewolfpackpress.

“I’minlovewithsomeone.ActuallyI’vebeeninlovewithhimforalongtime.Ijustdidn’tdo

anythingaboutitbecauseI’vebeenopenlyhiding.CanIsaythat?”Iranmyfingersthroughmyhair.

“Yeah, it makes sense I guess. I wasn’t brave enough to be out with him. Not that it’s really any of

yourbusiness,butyou’reabunchofnosyfuckers,aren’tyou?”

Laughterspilledaroundme.Andhundredsmorequestions.

“Whoishe?”

“What’shisname?”

“Notheranymore?”

AlleyestargetedAnya,whohidinplainsight.

She gained her feet. Pretty, diminutive without her Dominatrix heels or the two-story hair, she

grabbedholdofthenearestmicrophone.“Liamisgoodfriend.Heisgay,Iamlesbian.”Shesweetly

smiledbeforesittingdown.

Waytoownit,girl.

Theone-twoquestionsroundedonme.

“Wewantaname,champ!”

Truthtime.

I settled my forearms on the table and spoke directly into the mic. “I love Michael Fairweather

withmywholeIrishheart.”

Theuproarwascontagiousasthepressdrilledtheirquestionsatme:

“WhereisMichael?”

“Wehaven’tseenhiminmonths!”

“Doesheknowhowyoufeel?”

“I’d say he might now, you knuckleheads,” Sean dryly commented. Laughter lifted the heavy

atmosphere.“That’senoughquestionsforLiamtoday.”

“I’ve got one more thing to say.” I stared out at the cameras recording and relaying my every

word.“Michael,noneofthismeansagoddamnthingwithoutyou.”

People surged toward the stage as I was ushered out the back. Tough shit for them. I had

unansweredquestions,too.

I hung around long enough to watch the aftermath take over the news channels. MSNBC ran an

immediateinterviewwithwomenandmenwaitingformeoutsidetheGrand.

“DoesitbotheryouthatLiamO’Shaughnessyisgay?”

“No,shouldit?”AwomaninabrightpinkT-shirtsmackedhergum.“Likehedoesn’tdeserveto

behappywiththepersonhelovesjustbecausehe’sanathlete?”

“Youdon’tfeeldupedatall?”

“It’s none of my business, and none of y’all’s either. Why should I care who he screws? Lord

knows,noonepaysnonevermindtowhoImessaroundwith.”

“IthinkMichaelandLiamarejustadorable!”Anotherfangushed.

Holyfuck.

SoIwasout.Justlikethat.DevlinwashavingananeurismsomewhereIdidn’thavetosee.Anya

wassohappywithmeforachangeshedidn’tcallmeachump,munchkin,oracaricatureofmyself.

Seanjustrolledhisdamncigararoundhismouthandwinkedatme.Ifelt,Iguessed,liberated.

Ididtheusual,slippingoutthebackdoor,intoanalley,ditchingmydetail.Seansomehowkeptthe

press corralled inside—maybe he offered them Cubans or something—because I made the

roundaboutwalktomyhotelinpeace.

IplannedongettingintouchwithMichaelassoonasIfoundtherestofmyballs.

Firstthingsfirst,Iwantedastiffdrinkandtoletitallsinkin.Isteppedintotheluxurioushotel

lobbyandstartedacrossthevastreception.

“Hey,champ!”

Iknewthatvoice.It’dbeeninsidemyheadsincethemomentMichaelhadleft.

ChapterThirty-Eight

HeLovesMe,HeLovesMeNot

SPINNINGAROUND,ISAWMichaelstandingintheloungeareabesidethebar.Hewasblondand

beautiful.

He’shere...

Iwalkedtowardhimslowly,overwhelmedbythesharppainofseeinghimagain,bythesensation

ofneedinghimsomuch.

Istoppedafewshortstepsaway.

“Imissedyou,baby,”hesaid.

“Michael?”Hisnamecameoutinagasp.

“I’msosorry.”Hisbrowcrumpledasheapproachedme.“CanI...Liam...canIjust—?”

Ishookmyheadbuthauledhimagainstme.Inhalinghisscentingreatdragsofbreath,Igrabbed

handfuls of his hair. The bright strands curled around my fingers as I cradled his head. I needed to

kisshim.Toshowhim.

“Wait.Stop,Liam.”

Ibrokefreeasifsomeonejerkedmeoffhim.“It’sWade,isn’tit?”

“What? No.” Michael settled right back where he’d been pressed against me, but my arms hung

uselesslyatmysides.

Hisfingersdrifteddownmyface,alongmyjaw.Histhumbsrestedbesidemylips.

“It’s never been about him. I didn’t go to him.” Leaning his forehead against mine, he breathed

acrossmylips.“Iamsodamnproudofyou.”Hiswarmmouthnudgedmine.“Somuchtosay.”

Hot love and quick desire twisted my insides, but I needed more from him. I needed to know

becauseIwasscaredshitlessIwastheonlyoneinlove.

Steppingoutofhisembrace,Iasked,“Whyareyouhere?”

Heblinkedatmeandthenblushed.“Ibroughtyouflowers.”

“Youwhat?”

Withasheepishsigh,hemuttered,“Iwantedtogiveyouflowers,butIsortofruinedthem.”

“Wherearethey?”

Rubbing his fingers against his forehead, he mumbled something under his breath before he

turnedonhisheels.

I watched with a small flip in my chest as he went to the chair he’d obviously occupied and

retrievedareallywreckedbouquetofdaisies.

“Youcameallthiswaytobemyflowerdeliveryguy?”Iaskedwhenhereturnedtome.

“Notexactly.”Hestaredattheshornmessinhishands,crumpledpaperandall.

Atleasthalfthepetalsweremissing.

Heheldtheflowersouttome.“Foryou?”

I nearly snorted as I accepted the sad little bundle, but it was like the fucking Charlie Brown

Christmastree,andnoonehadevergivenmeflowersbefore.Really,reallyhurtin’flowers.

“Letmeguess.Iloveyou?Iloveyounot?”

A very sweet smile turned up the corners of his lips. His gaze lifted to mine, warm and softest

gray.

“Evidence.”Hepointedtoaglasswayoverbyhisvacatedseat,filledwithflowerpetals.

“What’stheverdict?”

“Helovesme,”Michaelsaid.“AndIcameallthewayheretobeyours.”

Everythingfrozeinthatinstant—motion,sound,sight.Everythingbutthestrongsoaringfeeling

ofloveforMichaelfinallybreakingfreeofallmyfears.

Weheldthedaisiesbetweenus,andIsearchedforthetruthinhissearingeyes.

“Willyoucomeupstairswithme?”Iasked.

“Stilltooscaredtokissmeinpublic?”

“No.Notonedamnbit.Ijustdidn’tknowifyouwantedmeto—”

“Kissme,Liam.”

Isecuredhimtomewithonehandonthebackofhisneck,theotheronhiship,andhemoaneda

harshcry.Dippingmyface,Ikissedthespotatthehollowofhisthroatthatbelongedsolelytome.

Moving higher, I tentatively brushed our mouths together. I growled at that light sensation and

draggedhimflushtome.Whenheslantedhisheadandslidhistonguealongmylips,Iopenedfor

him.IopenedmyfoolishheartforMichaelagain,andthewallssurroundingmebrokeapartwithmy

desperategroan.

My spine tingled. The pressure built between our mouths, our tongues sensuously twisting. The

fervorslowed,andMichaelendedwithasoft,drawn-outkiss.

Hislipspressedagainstmychin,mycheeks,myjaw.

Hekissedmesogentlyoverthebruisesonmyface.“Openup.Lookatme,Liam.”

Ifoundhisbiggrayeyes.

“Imissedyousomuch,andI’msorry.Iloveyou,baby.”

Ididn’tdaresmile.Thosewordsweresohardfoughtfor.“Sayitagain.”

“Iloveyou.”

Hisvowoflovesurgedthroughme.

“I love you, too.” I wrapped my arms around him, and we stood in the middle of the lobby,

rockingtogether.

Whistlesandshoutsinterruptedournextkiss.

People had gathered. Those from the press conference, people who had seen my fight, random

slot-jerkers,Jo,Schmo,andeveryoneinbetweenitlookedlike.

“Uh, yeah. Show’s over, folks,” I called out, swinging Michael away to protect him from any

moreCandidCameramoments.

Liftinghishandsbetweenus,Ikissedbothpalms.“Willyoucomeupstairswithmenow?”

“Thoughtyou’dneverask.”

“Wiseguy.”Islippedourfingerstogether,rubbingthemagainstmychest.“SoItakeityousaw

thenewscoverage?”

“Whatnewscoverage?”Hiseyeswidenedininnocence.

“Wiseass.”Iletoneofhishandsgototughimthroughthelobbyafterme.

Aswewalkedtotheelevators,IslidmyarmaroundMichael’sshoulder,andheheldmefirmlyby

the waist. Inside the elevator, totally alone with him, I chewed on my lip to keep from kissing his

irresistiblemouth.

“Iwasadouche.Ioverreacted.Idon’tknowifyou’lleverforgiveme.”Michaellookeddownat

hishands,overtothecontrols,anywherebutatme.

I pressed the emergency stop button and the elevator jerked beneath our feet as it slowed.

ReachingforthebackofMichael’sneck,Idrewhisgazetomine.

“Ifyoucanforgivemeforbeingacoward.”Ipepperedlittlekissesalloverhisupturnedface.

“Fuckthat.You’rethebravestmanI’veeverknown,andI’mnotjusttalkingabouttoday.Imissed

you,Liam.Everyday,everyhour,everyminute.”

Ituckedhisheadagainstmyshoulder.“Don’ttakeoffonmeagain?”

“Iwon’t.”Softlycaressingmyneckwithhislips,hemurmured,“Iloveyou.”

My heart somersaulted in my chest. I kissed him quickly then again more deeply, pleasure and

reliefandpassionhummingthroughmyentirebody.Skimmingmyfingertipsbeneaththebottomof

hisshirt,Imoanedatthefeelofhissilkyskinovertheincrediblyhardmusclesofhisstomach.

“Doyouthinkthere’sroomonyourteamforaverydedicatedtrainer?”Michaelasked.

“Maybe.”

“Whataboutaboyfriend?”Hetiltedhishead.

“Maybe.”Igrinnedlikeanidiot.

Michael’s smile shined back at me, filling my heart to bursting. “What about a partner, to share

yourlifewith?”

“Yes.”Ithreadedmyfingersthroughhishair.“DoesthatmeanI’llgetyoubackinmybed?”

“Maybe.”

“Andmorehotoilmassagesandsexyyogawithsaidtrainer?”

“Possibly.”Hesmirked.

“AboyfriendIcankissanytimeIdamnwellplease?”

“Whydon’tyoutryitagainandfindout?”

I curled Michael against me. His mouth parted for my lips, and he groaned. Diving inside his

mouth,Iexploredthewettextureandwildheatofhim.Michaelmeltedintome,moaning.Histongue,

hislips,hismurmursfedmydesire.

Painfulmemoriesfinallyreplacedbythehopefulpresent.

“Come back with me. For keeps.” I let the tip of my tongue linger for one last salty taste at the

cornerofhismouth.

“Forever.”

“Yeah.Thatsoundsgood.”

ChapterThirty-Nine

FightforLove

IRESTARTEDTHEELEVATOR’Sascenttomypenthouseandkeptmyhands,lips,andtongueoff

Michael.Oncewestartedagain,Ihadnointentionsofstoppinguntiloneofuswasbeneaththeother,

andthenweweregonnahitthatonrepeatallafternoon,evening,andnight.

Atthedoorofmysuite,Islidthekeycardhomethenjiggledthecrankydoorhandleseveraltimes

beforethedamnthingglidedopen.IyankedMichaelinaftermeandpushedthedoorshut.

Islammedmykeys,wallet,phone,therestofthecrapinmypocketsontotheconsoleinthelittle

hallway,andMichaelfollowedsuit.Hetoedoffhisshoesandsocksatthesametimeheemptiedhis

pockets.

It was the first time I’d gotten a full look at him since he’d surprised me downstairs. Bare feet

beneathsuitpantsshouldnotlooksofuckingsexy.Matteroffact,Michaelwasdressedupmorethan

I’dseenhimsinceourfirstdate.

Matteroffact,IhadnoideawhathewasdoinginVegas.Ipulledhimintothelounge.Idropped

ontothesofa,andhelandedinmylap,exactlywhereheshouldalwaysbe.

MichaelleanedinforthatawesomekissingthingthatalwaysscrambledmybrainbutIheldhim

awaywithmyhandsonhisshoulders.

“Wait.WhatareyoudoinginVegas?Didyourelocatehere?”Iasked.

He shook the burnished hair from his eyes. “No. I stayed in New York.” He dropped his face

down.“Couldn’tbeartobetoofarawayfromyou.”

“Michael...”

“I’vebeenalittlelovesickforyou.”Hishandsstrokedupmychesttomyneck.

“Butthatdoesn’texplainwhyyou’rehere.”

“Whythefuckdoyouthink?Icametoseeyourfight.”

“Youwatchedit?”

Michael clasped my face. “Do you think for one second I wouldn’t? It was the biggest night of

yourlife!OfcourseIwasthere.”

Tearsstrainedatthecornersofmyeyes.“Youcame?”

“Jesus Christ, baby, what did I do to you?” Pulling me into his arms, he held me close as we

struggledtocometotermswiththepastmonthsofloneliness.

Theestrangement.

Thepainoflossandheartbreak.

“Ican’tbelieveyou’rehere.”Icaressedhisface,gettingreacquaintedwiththesmoothnessofhis

cheeksandthesoftnessofhisgoldstubble.

“Notgoinganywhere.”Hesmiled,slowandshyashewatchedme.“Ifyouwanttokeepme.”

Strokingmychin,Isquintedatmyman.“Weeeell,youwereaschmuck.”

“Liam!”Hestruckmeontheshoulder.

Ilaughed.

“That’snotfunny,”hegrumbled.“It’strue.”

“Hey,Iwasafraidy-cat.”Ishrugged.

“Fairenough.”

“You’renotsupposedtoagree.”IwasabouttogoontheattackwhenMichaelfrowned.

“Thereisoneotherthing,”hesaid.

“What?Don’tlooklikethat.Itcan’tbeworsethanwhatwe’vealreadybeenthrough.”

“Wade.”

“Christ.IhopeIneverhearthatnameagain.”IsatupandshiftedawayfromMichael.

Thementionofhisexwasacoldsplashofwaterdousedallovermybody.

“I’mprettysurehewastheonewhotoldthenewspapersaboutyou,”Michaelquietlyadmitted.

“Isthatit?”Ichuckled.

“You’renotpissed?”

“Devlin was pissed. I was piss-scared about what would happen at the fight. How people would

react.Totellyouthetruth,it’sarelieftohaveitoutthereanddone.”

“Nowit’sreallyoutthere.”

IpeeredoveratMichael.

Heleereddownatthehard-oninmypants.ThatdefinitelysignaledtheendoftheWadeTalk.

IpushedMichaelontothefloorthensmackedhimupsidetheheadwithapuffycushion.

Hegrabbeditsmateandhitmefullinthefacewiththecushionwheremylaughtersplutteredinto

thefabric.Itossedthepillowasideandjumpedtomyfeet.Racingtotheadjoiningbedroom,Imadeit

inside and to the end of the bed as Michael kicked the door shut. I threw one of the enormous bed

pillowsathishead.Dodgingit,heprowledtowardme.

Hecircledmywristswithhisfingersandclampedthembehindmyback.

“Thisisfunandall,butIthoughtwecouldfuck.”Hiswordstumbledagainstmyear.

Irippedmyhandsfreetogriphisass.Idrewhimtomymouth.

Thislove-lusthadalwaysbeenfeastorfaminebetweenus.Todaywasnodifferentnomatterhow

longwe’dbeenapart.Ourhandscouldn’ttouchenough,andallourclotheswereintheway—Michael

andIbothdressedinsuitsinsteadofgymshortsforachange.Ourtonguesdrovedeepandretreated

withwetsucks.

Michaelmeasuredthenewbreadthofmychestandshoulderswithhishands.Hesteppedbackto

takeallofmein.

“Holy,shit.You’rehuge.”

“Trainedhard.”Igrunted.

Igruntedagain,louder,whenhishandsmoveddownmychestandoverthestrainingcrotchofmy

pants.

“Don’ttellmeyouhitsteroidsafterIleft.”

“Don’t flatter yourself.” I gave him a small grin, but it disappeared as I remembered those sad

monthswithouthim.“Didn’tdoanythingbuttrainafteryouleft.”

“I’msorry,baby.IfIcouldtakethatshitbackand—”

“Don’t.It’sdone.It’sover.”Grabbinghistie,Ijerkedhimtome.“Hey,webothfuckedup.There’s

nosensebeatingourselvesupabouttheguilt.Shouldn’tthefactwe’rebothdumbassesjustcancelall

thatshitout?”

“Atleasttellmesomeonemadesureyouatethesepastfewmonths.”

“Idon’tneedahandlerorababysitter,likeIsaid.”

“Butdoyouneedme?”Michaelstaredatmewithaflickerofinsecurity.

“AllIneedisyou,sweetheart.”

“Thengetthisfuckingshirtoff.Iwanttotouchyou.”

Better words had never been spoken. Buttons pinged off my shirt. He raked my designer duds

downmyarms,offmybody.ThetiewasthelasttogoafterMichaelusedittodrawmymouthtohis

for a head-spinning kiss. His teeth nipped. His tongue plunged. Firm and moist and masterful, he

kissedmestupid.

After he disengaged, his hands roamed over me. He squeezed. He pinched. He caressed my

bulgingbicepsandripplingribsandthemusclesofmyabsthatjumpedateverytouch.

“Soyoulike?”Igaspedwhenhebitmytrapezius.

Kissingandlickinglower,everlower,hemurmured,“Ilove.”

“Me?”

“Mmhmm.Andthis.”Hesqueezedthehardrodofmypackageabouttoburstthroughmypants.

Itookadvantageofmynewlargersizeandtrappedhisarmsathissides.

IwatchedhimthroughlowlidsasIrotatedmythickclothedcockagainsthis.“MaybenowIcan

pinyou,younimblelittlebastard.”

“Oh, you wanna play that game, do you? And, by the way, the only thing little about me is the

briefsI’mwearingspecificallyforyou.”

My hungry growl reverberated through the room as we tussled to the bed. More of our clothes

flewoff,landingwho-knew-who-caredwhere.IlaystretchedoutnakedonthebedwhileMichael—

thetemptingfucker—performedaraunchyGo-GoGuydanceonhisfeetoverme.

The last item of clothing he wore was a jockstrap. Twisting his hips, tugging his nipples, and

pullingthecurlytuftofhairpeekingfromtheundies-to-die-for,hemademymouthwater.

Thelatestjockstrapfromhissexystash?Itwasblack,barelythere,withthinwhitestraps.Upthe

centerofthepouchencasinghisstrainingerection,boldwhitewordssaidLiam’sCock.

“Youlike?”Hegrabbedholdofhimself,wagglinghisshaftatme.

“Ilove.”Imorethanloved,Iwanted.

Hemovedwithsinuouseaseasifhewasmadeforstrippingforme.Circlinghisleanhipsintight

circles, he slowly bent his knees until his bare ass made contact with my ramrod cock. He bit his

bottomlip.Herockedagainstmewithhisbreathgustingacrossmylipsbeforeundulatingbacktohis

feet.

Ipushedontomyelbows,gasping,“Holyshit,Michael.”

Flirtatiously,fullyintohiseye-peeling,mind-bendingroutine,hewinkedatme.Heturnedaround,

plantinghisfeetoneithersideofmyshoulders.

Looking back at me, he swiveled down until the heavy sling of his stretchy jockstrap almost

brushedmychin.Thenhehumpedhisassatmyface.Hisgoldenbody,hislonglegs,hispinkhole

winkingatmewastoomuchtobear.

Iliftedmyhandstothesidesofhismuscledcheeksandpulledhimtomymouth.Irippedopenthe

pouchinfrontanddugintofindhisthickcuttool.Spreadinghisbuttwidewithonehand,Iaimedfor

thejewelsnuggledtightinhisass.IstrokedhiscockslowlyasIatehisasshard.

Michaelwasincapableofdoinganythingotherthanleaninghisforeheadagainstmythighwhere

hesuckedastinginglovebiteintomyskin.

Hisprecomemademyfistwetter.Mysalivamadehistrenchshimmer.Hisbudopened,relaxed,

pushed out for every tongue-drive I thrust into him. When he panted through each breath and I’d

thoroughly slavered over every inch of his ass, he swiveled around. The jockstrap hung from his

broadthighs.Hiscockrosetohisbelly.Hecrouchedoverme.

“Iwasright.”Hegazedatmewithsexyintensity.

“Aboutwhat?”

“You’rebeautiful.”

“God,I’mnot.”Heatcreptintomycheeks,downmyneck,overmychest.

He moved his hands in agonizingly slow circles on my pecs, teasing the sensitive nubs of my

nipplesintohardfleshbeneathhispalms.

“Maybeyouweretheonehitontheheadahundredtimeslastnight.I’mcoveredinbruises.Ilook

likeshit.”

“You are gorgeous.” His hands coasted to my stomach. My abs flexed beneath his skimming

fingertips.“AmIhurtingyou?”

“I’mfeelingnopainnow.”Irockedupagainsthim.

Theheatandheavinessofhiscockagainstminemademyeyesrollback,mylipsfallopen.

“Hmmm.Maybeyouwannafeelsomethingelse?”Hetrailedthetipofhistonguedownthedeep

centerofmyabs.

HetraipsedintotheVofmypelvis,onesidethentheother.Mycockspearedintotheair,thehead

wetandrosy,andmyskinstretchedsofuckingtightIthoughtI’dburst.Hislipssnuckaroundthecliff

ofmycockheadwithsmallnibbles.Histonguedartedintomyslit.Hismouthclosedoverthehead,

andinsidethewetheathistonguecontinuedtoplay.

Ibuckedmyhips.Archedmyback.

“Oh,fuck.Don’t.I’msoclose,I’llnut.”Iliftedmyheadtowatchhim.“Wantmycomeinyour

ass.”

“Justalittletaste,baby.”

Alittletastemeantabigmouthfulofmyentirecockslidingintohismouthandslurpeddownhis

throat. He pulled back with a groan. Grasping my shaft, he slapped the saliva-wet rod against his

cheek.

Withanarchedeyebrowandpursedlips,Michaelwentallthewaydownonmeagain.Againand

again.UntilItorehimoffmeandtossedhimtohisback.

“It’smyturn.”

“Haveatme.”Hespreadhisarmsandlegs,andIdoverightin.

There’dbetimetoexplorehimlater.

Rightthen,hiscock.

Inmymouth.

Thick,heavy,veiny,rigidMichaelmeat.

I swallowed him whole on my first go, groaning at the way he filled me. He tasted the same.

Masculine. Salty. Sweet. Horny and mine. Ready for me. I sucked him in and out, turning my head,

teasingtheengorgedcap.Whenasteadystreamofhisjuicefloweddownmythroat,Ibackedoff.

I lubed my fingers and snuck one inside his grasping hole. Holding his knees to his chest, he

shimmeredwithalightsheenofsweat.

I mouthed his balls, cupping them at the base of his shiny cock. With both orbs in my mouth, I

tappedmythumbrepeatedlyagainsthistaint.

Michaelwrenchedagainstme,swearingwhenIaddedtwothenthreefingersinfastsuccession.He

groanedwhenItickledhisprostate.Hegrabbedhiscocktogiveitaslow,squeezingstroke.

I went at him with one more finger, stretching him further than I ever had before. His tight

enclosure wrapped around my fingers in a ridged, lube-slicked tunnel as his moans came at me

nonstop.

“Ohfuck.OHFUCK!”

Ohyeah,moreofthat,sweetheart.

Ireleasedhisballsfrommymouthwithafinalloudslurp.Withdrawingmyfingersoneatatime,

Iwatchedhisholebegintoclose.

Islappedhisupturnedass.Ididitagainwhenhewrithedinresponse.

Risingabovehimtosnatchacondomfrommysupply,ItookinMichael’sopenhazyeyes,thewet

partedmouth,thepumpingchestdisplayedbeforeme.

Kissinghimfastandhard,Irippedopentherubber.

Michael halted me. “Can we skip the condoms now? It’s been long enough. Haven’t been with

anyonesinceyou.”

“Nooneformeeither,sweetheart.Noonebutyou.”

Michaelpouredapooloflubeintohispalm.Ithrewmyheadbackwhenhegrippedmeinaslick

fist.

“Youcan’t...”Igasped.“Youcan’tplaywithmelikethat,notrightnow.”

Especiallynotwiththeideaofbeingbareinsideyou.

“Whatareyouwaitingfor,baby?”Michael’shandslippedoffme.

After aligning my cock with his entrance, I dropped on top of him. Everywhere we touched

burned—fromourslidingmouthstoourmuscledcheststoourtwinedlegs.

Igentlyknockedmycockagainsthispucker.Michaelgraspedlongfingersintomyhair,towing

me into another melting kiss. When the crown of my cock pressed inside, I stopped for a second.

Dizzywiththeneedtothrust,Iwaitedforhimspreadhislegswider,likehealwaysdidwhenhewas

readyformoreofme.

Thistimehisheelsdrilledintomyass.Hisbreathhitched.Hearchedinmyarms,pushingonto

mycock.

“OhmyGod.”Ituckedmyfaceintohisneck,lappingthehotskin.

He steadily drove my entire length inside of him, from underneath. When I was shafted deep,

huggedbyhisarms,hislegs,andthebeginningcontractionsofhisbuildingorgasm,Imovedonto

myhandsabovehim.

Islowlypulledout.

Hisassrosetofollowme.

Myhandfelltohisstomach,andIpressedhimdown.“Waitforit,”Igrittedout.

ChapterForty

WinnerTakesAll

ILUNGEDINSIDETOthesoundofMichael’sshout.Ididitagainandagain,thesamelongretreat,

thehardfastplunge.Hisdickbeatagainstmybelly.Myballsslappedtheundersideofhisass.

Sittingbackonmyknees,Idrapedhislegsovermythighs.Myhandswanderedupanddownhis

torsoasIdrilledhimfromtheleft,fromtheright,grindingagainsthisOhMyFuckingGodspotwith

eachthrust.

Michaelroseagainstmewithstarvingneed.Hishipsbucked,hisfingersclawedatmyhips.One

ofhislongwhimperstoppledmeovertheedge,toppledmeontopofhim.Ourhandsjoinedbeside

his head as he thrashed beneath me. I used my knees for leverage, my lips to tickle the sweet spot

belowhisjaw,mywordstotiphimover.

“C’mon,sexyfuck.Comeforme.”Igrowled.“Didyourassneedme,sweetheart?Doyouneed

me?”

Hisvoicerosewitheachraggedmoan.

I was so close. Being bare inside him was a whole new level of Holy Fuck YES. The heat

amplified.Thetightnessofhissurroundstripled.Andhisbodywaswilderthanever.

“Gonnagoslownow,slowuntilyoucomealloverme,”Igrunted.

“No!Don’t!Fast,hard,please!”

“Uhunh.Justlikethis.”Thepressureinsideofhimintense,Iwithdrew,reentered.

Ilingeredwithmycockshoveddeep,Michaelsurroundingmeandclampingdownwiththattight

circleoffleshstretchedbymycock.

Icurledmyarmscompletelyaroundhim.Hislegslockedoverthesmallofmyback.

Wemovedlikeonebody,oneneed,onelove.

Hiscockdraggedanddrippedagainstmystomach.Longandhard,itwasjammedbetweenus.

“Iloveyou.”Ikissedhisneck,hislips,hisbrow.

Hisfingerstwistedinmyhair.“Humph.Loveyou,loveyou,too.Oh!”

His fingers twisted harder. His hips circled faster. His cock erupted, and hot streams of come

splatteredbetweenus.

Diggingmyfingersintohisass,Iheldhimtomethroughthedesperatethroesofhisorgasm.

When I came he was still panting, but the beautiful bastard rose up and rode with me through

every searing splash. It all blasted out of me with curses I couldn’t contain and his name mingled

betweenthem.

Sated—forthemoment—IfellontopofMichael.

His kisses drifted along my face, over the bridge of my crooked boxer nose, down to my lips,

whereItookinslowshakybreaths.

“Thatwasfuckinghot,baby.”

“Loveitwhenyoucallmebaby.”Idecidedthenookofhisneckwasthebestpilloweverinvented,

nuzzlingascloseasIcouldget.“ShouldImove?”Islurred.

“Nope.”

“You’llstay?”

“Allnight.Everynight.Withyou.”

“Good.”Iwentbacktomyrestingplaceafterkissinghimslowandsoft.

Michaelwiggledbeneathme,chuffingoutalaugh.“I’mleakingyourcome.”

Icurledfurtheraroundhim.“Ilikeit.”

He took my hand and dipped two of my fingers between his legs where the warm wet seed

smearedmyfingertips.

“Youlikeyourhotjizzinmyass?”hemurmured.

AaaandsuddenlyIwaswide-awake.Sowasmycock.Especiallywhenhecoatedhismouthinmy

come,andthenvoraciouslykissedme.

“Myturnnext.”Michaelspankedmyass.

InudgedMichaelawakeinthemorning,ourfirstmorningtogether.

Mytoestouchedhis.Islippedmynoseagainsthis,andthewarmthofhisbreathspreadacrossmy

lips.Ourmorningwoodbattledbetweenourstomachs.

“Mmm.Morning,baby.Youwantmore?”Hiseyesdriftedopen,grayandclear.

Ilayontopofhim,lazilykissinghisneck.“Don’tthinkIcanmove.”

“ThatmeansIcanpinyouthistime?”

Isnorted.“Ithinkyoudidthatduringthenight.”

Fuck,hadheever.Wakingwithhimclutchingmefrombehind,I’dbarelycaughtabreathbefore

several well-slicked fingers thrust into me. He’d followed swiftly with his cock. Turning me to my

stomach,he’dheldmedownbymywrists.EveryslamofhisnakeddickhadmehowlingsoloudI’d

haveworriedhotelmanagementwouldgetareport.IfIcould’vethoughtatall.

Thentherewasthefouro’clock69er.Wehadalotoftimetomakeupfor,andMichaelwentatsex

justlikehedidhisjob.Totaldedication.Allthedamntime.Iadmiredthatabouthim.

“You’rekindofgrumpyinthemorning,though.”Hisfingersdriftedovermyflexingmuscles.

“You’realittletoochipper,mister.”

When I’d finally passed out with his hard body curved around me, I thought we’d slaked our

sexualneed.Apparentlynot.Ever.Iwasalreadyachingforhimwhenmystomachgrowled.

Michael’smouthskippedtomyneck.“Hungry,honey?”

“Andhorny,”Ibleatedashemovedfrombeneathme.

Hegrabbedmyhands.“Let’stakecareofhungryfirst.Roomservice?”

“I’vegotabetteridea.”Captivatedbyhisbarebody—andallthatass—Ipulledhimwithmetothe

bathroom.

Heat steamed from the shower after I turned it on. Clouds of moist air enveloped us. I prodded

himinsidethecubicle,steppinginafterhim.Waterstreamedoverhisshoulders,downhischest,onto

hisredandreadycock.

Wrapping his hand around my wrist, he stopped me from making contact with his prominent

hard-on.“Ibelieveweweretalkingaboutfood?”

“Ihaveabetterideathanroomservice.”Hotpeltingwaterworkeditswaydownourbodies.

Iloopedmyarmsaroundhisback.

“Ohyeah?”

“I’mgonnatakeyoutotheloudest,mostpackedbreakfastjointinthecity.I’mgonnasitnextto

youandholdyourhandandstareatyouasmuchasIwant.Outintheopen.”

HissmilegrewbiggerwitheverywordIsaid.

“I’mprobablygonnatalkdirtytoyou,too.”

“More of all that,” he moaned when one of my soaped fingers worked down the center of his

chest.

Well, showers were a lot more fun when Michael was in them—longer, lustier, and so much

hotter. He had his bags delivered to my room, and by the time I’d shaved, he was dressed in my

favoritefadedjeansandacrispblackshirtthatcontrastedwithhisskin.

“Areyoureadyyet,baby?”

Idroppedthetowelhangingoffmyhipsanddugaroundmyduffelforsomebriefs.“Doesitlook

likeI’mready?”

Hegaveathroatygroaninanswertomyquestion.“Itlookslikeyou’rereadyforsomething.I’m

gonnawaitoutsidebeforeIhavetofuckthatassagain.”

Okay,soscrewthebriefs,goingcommandotoday.

Ihurriedthroughdressingandaftershave,checkedmyhairlikeachickgoingonafirstdate,and

joinedMichaelinthehall.Wewalkedsilentlytotheelevator,keepingourdistanceaswealwayshad.

Inside, through the mirrored panels, Michael watched me. In the lobby, our knuckles brushed

once,twice.

When we stepped outside, I grabbed his hand. His warm palm slid against mine. Our fingers

linkedtogether. Towing himagainst my side,I leaned over tokiss the cornerof his lips. Michael’s

surprisedgaspandhugegrinmademefeellikethebiggestmanonearth.

Wedidn’thaveanybodyguards.Weforewenttheblacked-outSUVs.Ididn’twearmyCincinnati

Red’scaporhidebehindapairofsunglasses.Infact,IslippedmyhandintoMichael’sbackpocket

andwalkedhip-to-hipwithhim.

Weactedlikeacoupleinlovebecausethatwasexactlywhatwewere.

TherestaurantIchosewasjam-packed,noisy,andburstingattheseams.

Perfect.

We got a booth at the back, sat on the same side. Betty the waitress had poofy hair, a garrulous

laugh,andagum-smackinghabit.

“Socuuuute.What’llyouhave?”Shetappedherpencilonherpadandblewabigstrawberrypink

bubble.

Weplacedourorders.Igrumbledandstucktomyrodentdiet.Michaelchuckledandorderedthe

works.ItwasagoodgoddamnthingIlovedhim.

Before Betty swished away, she pinched one of my cheeks and one of Michael’s. “I could just

smushonthetwoofyou.”

“She’shandsy,”Michaelmentioned.

“Notashandsyasyou.”Igrinnedashestrokedthesideofmyneck.

Itdidn’ttakelongforwordtotravel.Bettymust’verecognizedme,ormaybethepaparazzitailed

us.Didn’tmatter,becauseIdidn’tcare.Peoplesurroundedourbooth,butthistimeinsteadofgoing

solo,ImadesureMichaelwasinthepicture.

Asthelastgawkerwalkedaway,Michaelmuttered,“Maybeweshould’vekeptitunderwraps.”

“Nah.We’readonedeal.Inittogether.Outtogether.”

HesmileddownattheplateBettydelivered—theonefullofcarbsandpancakesandsausagelinks.

“Ilikethesoundofthat.”

“Ihatethelooksofthis.”Iunrolledmysilverwarefrommynapkin,thinkingI’dbebetteroffwith

achainsawfortheunbutteredtoasttrianglesandtherubberyeggsspreadingacrossmyplate.

“Sorry to interrupt.” A teenage boy stood beside our table with a backpack slung over his

shoulder.

Hewasalllegsandarmsandblushinghard.“CanIgetyourautographorsomething?Anapkin.

Justputitonanapkin,thatwouldbesocool.”

“Sure.Noprob.Who’sthisfor?”Iswipedthepenfromhishand.

“Justin.But...uh...ImeantMichael?He’ssobadass.”

HandingthepenovertoMikey,Isaid,“Yes,heis.”

As soon as he signed the napkin and the kid walked away, Michael laughed. “What the hell was

that?”

“Groupies.Youprobablyhaveawholegayfandomalready.”

“Don’tworry,dear,I’msureyoudo,too.”

Isnorted.“Youarenotgonnastartcallingmedear.”

“Notworkingforyou?”

“Sticktobaby,orsexybeast.Studmuffinworkssometimes.Oryoursexycock-slut.”Imunched

myprehistorictoast.

Michaelchokedonhiscoffee.

Bettyimpartedwordsofwisdomasshehip-rolledpast,“Cock-slut,alwaysawinner.”

As soon as Michael recovered, he looked around then whispered, “When does the real dirty

talkingstart?”

Iplacedmyhandonhisthigh.“Well,IcouldtellyouhowmuchIwanttofeelyouuprightnow,

becauseIbetIjustmadeyouhard.”

Heleanedhisheadback,hislipsparted.

Scootingcloser,Inuzzledhisneck—warm,alittlesaltyandvery,verystrong.“OrhowI’dliketo

unbuttonyourjeans,takeyourcockout,andsinkmymouthoveryourightnow.”

Beneath my hand Michael’s thigh tensed. His hips rolled. The tip of his ear turned pink, and I

kissedit.

“Youdefinitelydon’tneedtrainingindirtytalk.”Hisvoicewasragged.

“But I won’t stroke you or suck you here because some things are private, meant for us alone.

BecauseIloveyoualone,andnooneelse.”

Hedraggedhiseyesopen.“Romantic.”

“Inlove.”

“Whendowegohome?”

“NewYorkCity,myapartment‘home’?”

“Yes,baby.”

“Thisafternoon.”Ikissedhislips,tastingthesweetmaplesyrupandgroaningsinceI’dstuckto

dried toast, egg white omelet, and fake bacon just for him. “Sean is gonna eat this shit up. Not to

mentionAnya.”Ipulledbackandpeeredathim.“Where’syourstuffbytheway?Iwatcheditgetall

boxedupandcartedaway.”

“Storage.Doyouthinkthere’sroomforit?”

“AslongasIcankeepthetopshelfforAGameofThrones.”

“About that,” Mikey said just as Betty the waitress set the bill down with a snap of her gum. “I

startedreadingit.”

“And?”

“Hatedit.”

DraggingMichaeltomewithanarmaroundhisshoulders,Igrowled,“Philistine.”

Hedivedinforakiss.Onethatwasdeepandlongasheswepthistonguearoundmymouthbefore

drawingmineintohistosuckandtease.

Releasingmewithalastslowswipeofhistongue,hesmirked.“AndyouaremyBonnyBruiser.”

“Always.”

Noonecouldstopourlove.

Onthewaybacktothehotel,inbroaddaylightandinthemiddleofaVegassidewalk,Idipped

Michael’sheadbetweenmytwohandsandsankmylipstohis.

Lickinghislips,hecuppedbothhandsovermyass.“Mmm.It’slikethat,isit,champ?”

“Fuckyeah.”Ijoinedourfingerstogetherandtuggedhimafterme.

Fighttowin.Fightwithhonor.

Fightforlove.

Ithadn’tbeeneasy,butthatwasokay.

Michaelwaswortheverythingtome.

AlsoByRieWarren

BadBoysofX-Ops

Fournovels,spring/summer2016

Walker,

Justice,

Storm,

Bane,

BadBoysofRetributionMC

Completeseries—CarolinaBadBoysspinoff

Hunter,

Kinkaid,

Bo,

Coletrane,

CarolinaBadBoys—theoriginalBadBoys

Ongoingseries

Stone,

BookOne

Ride,thenovellafromwithinStone,

Love,

Steele,

Chrome,

Rush,

LowcountryHeat

SugarDaddy,

BookOne

Don’tTellSeries

Completeseries

InHisCommand,

BookOne

OnHerWatch,

BookTwo

UnderHisGuard,

BookThree

InHisSights,novella,

Standalone

Freebies

JingleBellRock,

HeartBeats,

InHisHeart,

ConnectwithRie

FacebookPage

FacebookProfile

Twitter

StreetTeamofAwesome

Acknowledgments

Well,wheretostart?IwroteIntheRingovertwoyearsago.Yup.Truth.LiamandMichaelhave

been inside my heart that long, but I just didn’t have time publish their gorgeous love story even

thoughmanyfolkswhowereintheknowabouttheprojectkeptasking.Andalotofreadersofmy

Don’tTellseriesbeggedfrommoreM/M.

Comingbacktomymenisawesome,andIhopey’allenjoyeditasmuchasme!

I’m giving all my thanks to my editor, Gillian Littlehale, my PA, Joelle Mendes, and my beta

readers—ChrisCox,AprilGasaway,LisaPinney,andHKSavage.

Another massive shout-out goes to one of the most fantastic supporters of gay fiction—Saritza

Hernandez. She had a profound impact on this novel and has always encouraged my writing. Love

you,hon!

Many loves to my street team, the bloggers, you readers and reviewers who inspire me to keep

writing.

This is the last book . . . for 2016. Did I get you? Hahaha! The first for 2017 will take you by

surprise,Ipromiseyouthat.

Staytunedformore,more,more,anddon’tforgettospreadtheloveforalltheIndieauthorsyou

adore.

XOXO~

AboutRie

Rieisthebadass,sassafrasauthorofSugarDaddyandtheDon’t Tell series–a breakthrough trilogy

thatcrossestraditionalpublishingboundariesbeginningwithInHisCommand.Herlatestendeavors

includetheCarolinaBadBoys,afun,hot,andsouthern-sexyseries.

A Yankee transplant who has traveled the world, Rie started out a writer—causing her college

professor to blush over her erotic poetry without one ounce of shame. Not much has changed. She

swapped pen for paintbrushes and followed her other love during her twenties. From art school to

marriagetochildrenandmanyawildandwonderfuljourneyinbetween,Riehascomehometoher

calling.Herworkhasbeencallededgy,daring,andsomeofthesexiestsmutaround.

You can connect with Rie via the social media hangouts listed on her website

http://www.riewarren.com

Document Outline

In The Ring
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter Twenty-Four
Chapter Twenty-Five
Chapter Twenty-Six
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Chapter Thirty
Chapter Thirty-One
Chapter Thirty-Two
Chapter Thirty-Three
Chapter Thirty-Four
Chapter Thirty-Five
Chapter Thirty-Six
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Chapter Forty
Also By Rie Warren
Connect with Rie
Acknowledgments
About Rie

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