ChapterOne
Itwasn'tthathemindedthedinnersomuch,orthebusinesstalkthatfollowedit.WhatbotheredEvan
TremaynewasthewayAnnasatandwatchedhim.
Shewasnineteen,blond,buxomandblue-eyed,astatuesqueyoungwomanwithlongtannedlegsthat
lookedincredibleinshorts.Evanhadtriedforthepastyearnottonoticeher,despitethefactthathe
andhermotherdidalotofbusinesstogether.Atthirty-four,hewastheeldestoffourbrothers,andhe
hadalmosttotalresponsibilityfortheirmother.Thefamilybusinesswasmostlyunderhiscontroland
hislifewasonelongtangleofcattle,personnelproblemsandfinancialheadaches.Annawasthelast
damnedstraw.
Especially,hethought,inthatpalebluedressthatshowedtoomuchofhergoldentanandherfull
breasts.Surelyhermothershouldhavesaidsomethingaboutthat.HewonderedifPollyCochran
noticedhowfastherdaughterwasgrowingup.Pollywasneverhome,though.Sheseemedalwaysto
bebusywithsomenewfacetofherrealestatebusiness.Anna'sfatherwasanairlinepilot,butheand
Pollyhadseparatedyearsago.HelivedinAtlanta,Georgia,whiletheylivedinTexas.Infact,Anna
hadbeengivenmostofherupbringingbyLori,thefamilyhousekeeper.Nobodyseemedtohavehad
muchtimeforher.
Pollyhadexcusedherselftotakeaphonecall,andEvanwasleftuncomfortablyalonewithAnna.
"Whyhaveyoubeengloweringatmeforthepasttenminutes?"Annaaskedsoftly.Herblondhair
waspiledontopofherhead,andshelookedsophisticatedandverymatureforachange.
"Becausethatdressshowstoomuchofyou,'Evanrepliedwithcustomarybluntness.Hisdarkeyes
glancedfromherfacetotheswellofherbreasts."Pollyshouldn'thaveboughtitforyou."
"Shedidn't,"Annasaidwithagrin."It'soneofhers.Iborroweditwhenshewasn'tlooking.She
hasn'tevennoticedthatI'mwearingit.Youknowhowunobservantsheis.EverythingwithMamais
business."
"Yourmother'sdressesaretoooldforyou,"hereplied,softeningthewordsalittlewithasmile.He
tendedtobemoreabrasivewithAnnathanwithanyoneelseinhislifebecauseofhisunwanted
attractiontoher."Youshouldwearsomethingmoreappropriateforyourownage."
Shetookaslowbreathandhereyesgentlyworshipedhimbeforetheydroppedtothetable."DoI
reallyseemsoyoungtoyou,Evan?"
"I'mthirty-four,littleone,"hesaid,hisvoicedeepandslowinthesilenceofthediningroom."Yes,
youseemyoung."
Herblueeyessettledonherfoldedhands."Mama'sgivingapartyFridaynighttocelebratethe
openingofthatnewmallinJacobsvillethatshesoldthepropertyfor,"shesaid."Areyoucoming?"
"HardenandMirandamight,"hemurmured."Istaybusy."
Shelookedup,hereyessearchinghisdark,broadfacerelentlessly."Youcoulddanceonedancewith
me.Itwouldn'tkillyou."
"Wouldn'tit?"heaskedwithgraveyardhumor.Hetouchedhislinennapkintohiswide,chiseled
mouthandlaiditdownbesidehisplate.Hegottohisfeet,toweringoverher.Hewasagiantofaman,
allmuscleandstreamlined,fromthebroadwedgeofhischesttohisnarrowhipsandlong,powerful
legs."Ihavetogo."
Shestoodup."Notyet,"shepleaded.
"I'vegotthingstodo,"hesaid.
"No,youhaven't,"shesaid,pouting."Youjustdon'twanttobealonewithme.Whatareyouafraidof,
Evan,thatI'llassaultyouonthetable?"
Heliftedaneyebrowovertwinklingbrowneyes."Andgetmashedpotatoesallovermyback?"
Sheletoutanirritatedbreath."Youwon'ttakemeseriously."
"Iwouldn'tdare,"hesaid,fendingheroffwiththeeaseofyearsofpractice.'TellPollyI'llseeher
tomorrowattheoffice."
"Icouldbedyingofloveforyou,"shesaidquietly."Andyoudon'tevencarethatyou'rebreaking
myheart."
Hegrinned."Heartsdon'tbreak,especiallyatyourage."
"Yes,theydo."Hereyesranupanddownhisbigbody,lingeringonhisbroadchest."Youmightat
leastkissmegoodbye."
"LetRandalldothat,"hereplied."He'sstillattheexperimentingage,likeyou."
"Andyou'reoverthehill,Iguess?"
Hechuckled."Feelslikeitsometimes,"heconfessed."Goodnight,littlegirl."
Shecoloreddelicately,whichheightenedtheblueofhereyes."I'mnotachild!"
"Youaretome."HepickeduphisStetsonfromthesideboardwithoutlookingather."Givemy
apologiestoyourmother.Ican'twaitforher.Thanksfordinner."
Beforeshecouldcomeupwithareply,hewasoutthedoorandgone,withoutevenseemingtohurry.
Thehellofitwasthathewasfiercelyattractedtoher.Infacthecouldprobablyfallheadoverheelsin
lovewithher.Butshewasmuchtooyoungforaseriousrelationship.Atherageshewaslikelytofall
inandoutofloveweekly.Besides,shewasalmostcertainlyavirgin.Evanwassix-fourandweighed
overtwohundredandthirtypounds.Abriefloveaffairhadendedinneartragedybecause,inhis
desireforthewomanheloved-aninnocentwoman,likeAnna-hehadn'tbeenabletocontrolhisgreat
strength.Louisahadrunfromhim,terrified.Ithadscarredhim,madehimhopelesslywaryof
innocentslikeAnna.Hissizehadbeenasorespotwithhimeversincechildhood,whenhewas
forevercomingtothedefenseofhisthreebrothers.He'dalwayshadtopullhispunches.He'deven
putamaninthehospitaloncewhenhe'dunderestimatedhisstrength.Theriskwithashelteredgirl
likeAnnawasjusttoogreat.No,hecouldn'taffordanotherepisodelikethat,hecouldn'ttakethe
chance.Bettertosticktoexperiencedwomenwhoweren'tafraidofhim.
Backatthebrickmansion,AnnawasragingoverthethingsEvanhadsaid.Hewastreatingherlikea
teenwithacrush,whenshewasdyingofunrequitedloveforhim!
"Where'sEvan?"hermotherasked,pausinginthedoorway.Shewastallandthinandfiftyish,dark,
whereAnnawasfairlikeherfather.
"Heleft,"Annasaidcurtly."HewasafraidImightbendhimoverthetableandseducehiminthe
greenbeansandmashedpotatoes."
"What?"Pollyasked,laughing.
"He'safraidtobealonewithme,"Annamuttered."IsupposehethinksI'llgethimpregnant"
"Child,dowatchyourlanguage,"Pollychided."NevermindEvan.You'vealreadygotabeau,much
closertoyourownage."
Annasighed."GoodoldRandall,"shemused."Withthewanderingeyes.Ilikehimalot,butheflirts
witheverywomanhesees.Ican'tbelievehe'sseriousaboutme."
"He'sonlyinhistwenties,"Pollysaid."Plentyoftimetogetseriouswhenyou'reolder.Marriageis
forthebirds,honey."
Annaglaredather."JustbecauseyouandDaddyweren'thappytogetherdoesn'tmeanthatIcan'thave
agoodmarriage."
Polly'seyesdarkenedandsheturnedawaytolightacigarette,ignoringAnna'sdisapprovingglance
asshereachedforanashtray."YourfatherandIwereveryhappyatfirst,"hermothercorrected.
"ThenhestartedflyingoverseasroutesandIgotintotherealestatebusiness.Weneversaweach
other."Sheshrugged."Justoneofthosethings."
"Doyoustilllovehim?"
Theolderwomancockedaperfectdarkeyebrow."Loveisamyth."
"Oh,Mama,"Annasighed.
Pollyjustlaughed."Dreamyourdreams,child.I'llsettleforCDsinthebankandplentyofstocksand
bondsinmysafetydepositbox.Wheredidyougetthatdress?"
Theyoungerwomangrinned."It'syours."
Hermothergaveheramockglare."HowmanytimeshaveItoldyoutostayoutofmycloset?"
"Onlytwenty.Youwon'tbuymeanythingthissexy."
"IsupposeyouworeittotemptEvan,"Pollymused."Well,youmightaswellgiveup.Evan'stooold
foryou,andheknowsit,evenifyoudon't.Goandchange.I'lltreatyoutoamovie."
"Okay."
Itwasnicetohaveamotherwhowasalsoagoodfriend,Annathoughtasshecompliedwiththe
request.ButnobodyseemedinclinedtotakeherfeelingsforEvanseriously.EspeciallyEvanhimself.
SometimesAnnathoughtitwouldbeniceifshehadajobthatwouldputherinconstantcontactwith
Evan.Butshecouldn'tworkcattleandsheknewnothingaboutbookkeepingorfinance.Thebestshe'd
beenabletomanagewassecretarialworkathermother'srealestateoffice.Thatdidbringherinto
fairlyfrequentcontactwithEvan,becausetheTremaynebrotherswerealwayslookingforinvestment
properties.SinceEvanwastheeldestandheadedthecompany,hewastheonehermothersawmost
frequently.ThatmeantAnnagottoseehim.Shewasworkingonthepremiseofwaterdrippingon
stone.Ifhewasaroundherenough,hemightnoticeher
more.
Therewere,ofcourse,betterwaysthanjustsittingaroundhoping.AnnahadthepursuitofEvandown
toascience.Shecouldwrangleinvitationstopartieshe'dattend,shefoundwaystotrackhimdownat
lunchandaccidentallyrunintohim.Sheoccasionallywaylaidhimatthepostofficeorthefeedstore.
Mostpeoplefoundherrelentlesschaseamusing,butmoreandmoreshesensedthatitwasaffecting
Evan.Ifonlyhe'djustlookather!
Itwasawell-knownfactthatEvanhatedalcohol.Hehadanintenseaversiontoitforreasons
nobodyunderstood.SoallAnnahadtodotoattracthisinterestathermother'sofficethenextdaywas
tosittwobottlesofunopenedwhiskeyonherdeskbeforehewasdueattherealtycompany.
Hestoppeddeadwhenhesawthem,hisdark
browsknittingoverdeep-setbrowneyesshadedby
thebrimoftheStetsonpulledlowoverhisforehead.
"Whatthehellisthatfor?"hedemanded,gesturingtowardthebottles.
"Medicinalpurposes,"Annasaidsmugly.Shewaswearingawhitelinensuitwithapinkblouse,her
hairinaplait,andshelookedbothbusinesslikeandfeminine.
Heglaredather."Tryagain."
Sheglancedaroundtomakesurenoneoftheotherwomenintheofficewerelistening,andshe
leanedforward."It'stotreatsnakebite."
Thescowlgotworse."Therearen'tanyrattlersinhere."
Shegrinned."Yes,thereare."Shepulledopenherbottomdrawertorevealtwohugeplasticsnakes
withrealisticfangs.
Evan'seyeswidened."GoodGod!"
"Theseareforpeoplewhoneedanexcusetodrinkthewhiskey."
"Areyououtofyourmind?"
"IfIwas,howcouldIbeusingittotalktoyou?"
Hegaveupandwentpasther,shakinghishead.Annawatchedhim,herblueeyeslazilyadoringon
histall,powerfulbody.Hewasperfectlybuilt,withbroadshoulderstaperingtoslenderhipsandlong
legs.Hehadarodeorider'sphysique,exceptforhisgreatsize.Evanhadhandsthesizeofplates.He
wasevenintimidatingtosomeofthewomenintheoffice,whomadeinnuendoesthatAnnawastoo
shelteredtounderstand.ButAnnafoundnothingfrighteningabouthimatall.Shelovedhim.
Hewasawareofthatsilentstare,buthedidn'treacttoit.Shewasplayinggamesagain,heknewit.She
hadtobeawarethatthewhiskeywoulddrawhisattention.Ithadworked.Hehadtobemorecareful
fromnowon,nottofallintoherlittletraps.
Butitwasn'tthateasy.WhenhecameoutofPolly'soffice,Annawasn'tatherdesk.Hefoundher
outsidenearhiscar,onherhandsandkneesbesidethesmallwhitePorschehermotherhadbought
her,lookingthroughasmalltoolbox.
"Lookingforsomething?"heasked.
"Yes.Formyleft-handedJohnsonwrench."
Hesighedimpatiently."There'snosuchthing."
"Thereisso.Johnsonisthelocalmechanicandhe'sleft-handed.IborrowedhiswrenchandnowI've
lostit."
Hethrewuphishands."What'sgottenintoyoutoday?"
"Maddenedpassion,"shesaid,standingup,hereyeswideandtheatrical,likeheraudiblebreathing.
"I'mdyingforyou!"Shethrewherarmswideandsprawledagainstthesideofthecar."Goahead,
ravishme!"
Hewashavingtochokebacklaughter."Where?"heasked,glancingaroundthebigcarpark.
"Onthehoodofthecar,inthetrunk,Idon'tcare!"Shewasstillholdingthepose,hereyesclosed.
"Thehoodwouldbreakunderyourweight,nevermindmine,andIdon'tthinkIcouldgetmyhead
andshouldersinthattinytrunk."
Sheopenedhereyesandglaredathim."Onthepavement?"
Heshookhishead."Toohard."
"Thegrass."
"Chiggersandfireants."Hefoldedhisarmsoverhischest,andhiseyesrandownherbodyslowly
andwithouthisusualdetachment.Infact,theboldgazeunnervedher.Noone,notevenRandall,had
everlookedatherinthatparticularglitteryway,asifheknewwhatshelookedlikewithherclothes
off.
Defensively,shefoldedherarmsacrossherjacket."Don'tdothat,"shesaidsoftly.
"Youstartedit,honey,"heremindedher,andmoveddeliberatelycloser,threateningherwithhis
sizeandstrength.Shelookednervousnow,whichwaswhatheintended.Playinggameswithgrown
mencouldbedangerous.Someoneneededtoproveittoher.
"Evan..."shesaiduneasily.
Thecarparkwasdeserted,andAnna'sbravadowasquicklydisappearing.Flirtingwasonething,
butshestillwasn'tquitesureofherselfinanyintimatesituation.ShecouldhandleRandall,butEvan
hadan
untamedlookabouthim.Hemightseemlikeabigteddybearattimes,buttheTremaynebrothers
wereafierybunchandhewastheeldest.ProbablyConnal,HardenandDonaldhadlearnedallthey
knewfromhisexample.
"What'sthematter?"heaskedwithamockingsmilewhenshebackedagainstthecarlikeakittenat
bay."Notassafeasyouthought?"
Shedidn'tknowwhatshethoughtanymore.Hesmelledofcologneandsoap,andhisheightandsize
wereintimidating.
"It'sbroaddaylight,"shepointedout.
"Iknowthat."Hepursedhiswidelipsandsmileddownather,butitwasn'tanykindofsmileshe'd
everseenonhislipsbefore.Oronanyotherman's,cometothinkofit.Itwassensuousandmasculine
andveryarrogant,asifheknewthatherkneeswereweakandherheartwasbeatinghertodeath.
"Ireallyhavetogo,Evan,"shesaid,soundingfrantic.
Hecouldhavepushedit.Healmostdid.Herveryvulnerabilityattractedhimasherblatantflirting
neverhad.Hiseyesfelltoherhigh,fullbreastsandnarrowed.Shewasvoluptuousintheverybest
way,well-endowedenoughtoalmostfillhandseventhesizeofhis.Hestartedatthedirectionhis
thoughtsweretaking.Annawasavirgin.Heremindedhimselfofthatsilentlyandforcedhiseyes
backuptoherflushed,stunnedface.
"Ithoughtyouwantedtogetravished,"hesaidsoftly,thevelvetydepthofhisvoiceathreatinitself.
"Runningawaybeforeweevengetstarted?"
Sheswalloweddownherfearandeasedawayfromhim,laughingnervously.Hemadeherfeel
youngandtotallygreen."I'llneedtotakealotofvitaminsfirst,togetinshape,"shesaid,glancingat
himassheopenedthedoorofhercarandclimbedin."Holdthatthought,though."
Helaughedgentlyathergrit.Shehadcourage,andshebouncedbackfast.Ifshe'dbeenafewyears
older,anythingmighthappen."Okay,rabbit,hittheroad.Butnexttime,besureyouknowwhatyou're
askingfor,"headded,andhiseyeswereserious."Amanwon'tusuallyturndownablatantinvitation,
evenifit'sagainsthisbetterjudgment."
"You'vebeenturningmedownforyears,"sheremindedhim,catchingherbreath."You're
experienced."
Hisdarkeyesnarrowedonherface."Yes,Iam,"hesaidquietly."Keepthatinmind.You'restillat
thestagewhereyouthinkaman'sappetitecanbesatisfiedbyafewsoftkisses.Minecan't."
Sheglaredathim."Iwasn'toffering...!"
"Weren'tyou?"
Sheavertedhergazetoherfingersonthekeyintheignition."No,Iwasn't,"shesaidcurtly."Iwas
onlyteasing."
"Thatkindofteasingcanbedangerous.PracticeonRandall.He'ssaferthanIam."
"Atleasthewantsme,"shemuttered,andsheabruptlystartedthecar.
"Goodforhim,"hereplied."Don'tspeedinthattoycar."
Shemovedthetoolboxfromthepassengerseattothefloorboard."Ineverspeed,"shelied.
Hewatchedherfastenherseatbelt."Throughforthedayalready?"hetauntedsoftly.
"I'mhavinglunchwithmybestfriend,"shesaidevasively.
Heliftedhiseyebrows."Ididn'tknowyouhadone."
Shedidn'tanswerhim.Shebackedoutoftheparkingspotandmanagedtotakeoffwithoutstripping
thegears.Tearsglitteredinhereyes,buthewouldn'tseethem.
Shestoppedatanearbyrestaurantandhadahamburger,allbyherself.Shehadnogirlfriends.She
likedRandallverywell.Hewasaresidentatthehospital,thesonofthelocaldoctor,andnotbad
looking.Ofcourse,hedidhaveawanderingeye,butAnnagotalongwithhimanddidn'tfeel
threatenedbyhim.HerheartwasEvan's,sadlyenough.Howterrible,toloveamanwhotreatedyou
likeachildandmadefunofyouwhenyouofferedyourselftohim.Shecouldhavebawled.Actually,
everythingwasbravadowithher,whereEvanwasconcerned.She'dteasedhimjusttogethis
attention.Buthavinggottenit,shedidn'tknowwhattodowithit.Hewasexperienced,andshewasn't.
Shedidn'tknowhowtohandleamanlikethat.She'djustbeenshowngraphicallythatshewastotally
outofherelementwithEvan.
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215
Shewentbacktotheofficelate,andherheartwasn'tinherworkfortherestoftheday.Pollydidn't
evennotice.Annawonderedsometimesifhermotherpaidmuchattentiontoanythingthatshedidn't
wanttosee.
ThepartyhermothergavetocelebratetheopeningofthenewJacobsvillemallgaveAnnaan
excusetodresstothebackteeth.Not,shetoldherself,thatEvanwasgoingtonotice.He'dalreadysaid
heprobablywouldn'tcome.Randallwouldbethere,though.Shecouldcertainlydressupforhim.
Sheworeawitchy,silver,crystal-pleateddressthatfellinlayerstojustbelowherknees.Shelether
blondhairwaftlooselyaroundhershoulders,straightandheavy,andsheworesexylittlehigh-heeled
sandalsonherfeet.Sheknewshelookedgood,buttheeveningfeltflat.Sheaddedahintofpastel
lipsticktoherfulllipsandbrushedherhair,butherheartwasn'tinherpreparations.WithoutEvan,
herwholelifewasflatanduninteresting.
DownstairsRandallwaswaitingforher,lookingverytrendyinhissportscoatandneatlypressed
slacks.Heworewire-rimmedglasses,andhewasverydignified.Notahairoutofplace,although
whathehadwasthinningabovehisforehead.Hewasn'thandsome.Butwomenlovedhim.Hehada
gentle,caringdemeanorandhewasgoodcompany,evenifhedidhavetheworstkindofwandering
eye.Annalikedhim,andthefeelingwasmutual.
"Youlookverynice,"hetoldher,glancing
aroundattheveryelegantcrowdPollywasentertaining."Yourmotherknowseverybody,doesn't
she?"
"Everyonewhomovesinhercircles,"Annareplied.Randall'sinterestinthewealthysetdisturbedher.
Annahadnevermixedwithpeoplesimplybecauseoftheirwealthorsocialstatus.Neitherdidthe
Tremaynes.Randallwasthinkingaheadtothetimewhenhewouldbeinpractice,shewassure.His
preferenceforanuptownmedicalpracticewassomethinghemadenosecretof.
HetookAnna'sarmandguidedherthroughtothecanap6table,whererubypunchandsavorieswere
beingofferedtotheguests."I'mstarved.Ihadtoforegolunchforexams.Iwishthiswasasit-down
affair."
"Lorididhoneychickenandsalmoncroquettes,"shetoldhim,gesturingtowardplattersoffood.
"Andtherearelittleblueberrymuffins,too.Ifyouloadenoughonyourplate,you'llgetfull."
Hesmiledather."Iguessso."
Shenoticedthecouplesmovingtothesoftmusicoftheliveband.Shelovedtodance,butRandall
couldn't.Hehadnodesiretolearn,eventhoughshe'dofferedtoteachhim.
"Youwouldn'tliketoshufflearoundthefloor?"shetriedyetoncemore.
Heshookhishead."Sony.I'mtired.Iwanttogetoffmyfeet,notonthem!"
Sheliftedhershouldersasifshedidn'tcare.Shegotacupofpunch,lookingaroundforfamiliar
faces.
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217
WhenshespottedHardenandMirandaTremayne,hereyeswenthelplesslypastthem,hopingfora
glimpseofEvan.Buthewasn'tthere.Herfacefell,evenasshesmiledagreetingatthecouple.
Mirandawaswearingablackmaternitydresswithflowinglace,andshehadaradiantHarden
besideher.AnnahadalwaysfeltalittlesorryforHarden,becausehe'dseemedsoalone.Butthese
days,hesmiledalot,andtheoldcoldnesswasgonefromhisblueeyes.
HehadapossessivearmaroundMiranda'sswollenwaist,andhelookeddevastatinginadinner
jacketAlmost,Annathought,asgoodasEvanlookedsimilarlyclothed.
"Niceturnout,"Hardenmurmureddryly."Yourmotheroutdidherself."
"Indeedshedid,"Annasaid,grinning."DoIgetintroduced?I'veseenMiranda,butI'venever
actuallygottentomeether."
"Miranda,thisisAnnaCochran,"Hardenobliged."YoumetPollyattheChamberofCommerce
banquetafewdaysago.Pollysoldthepropertyforthenewmallandhelpedcoaxinsomenew
businesses."
"I'mverygladtomeetyou,"Mirandasaid,smilingback,hersilveryeyesalmostthecolorof
Anna'sdress."I'veheardalotaboutyou."
Annasighed."AboutmyrelentlesspursuitofEvan,Iguess,"shemurmuredruefully."It'sa
hopelesscause,butIcan'tseemtogetoutofthehabit.
Onedayhe'llmanysomebodyandIcangiveupwithgoodgrace."
"Thatdoesn'tseemlikely,"Hardenrepliedonasigh."Evanissurehe'sdoomedtoperpetual
bachelorhood.He'sforevermoaningthatwomenwon'tgivehimthetimeofday."
"HisexcuseusedtobethattheytrampledhimtryingtogettoHarden."Mirandalaughed,swinging
herlong,darkhair."Nowadays,he'sconvincedthathe'stoooldtoappealtoanyone."
"Thirty-fourandreadyfor'thehome,'"Hardenagreed.Heshookhishead."Savehim,Anna."
"I'mtrying,"shelaughed."Buthewon'tletmeputawaymybabydollsandmyplayteaset.Hethinks
I'mamerechild."
"Hewouldn'tifhesawyouinthatdress,"Mirandasaidwithaconspiratorysmile."Youlookvery
elegant."
"AtleastRandallnoticed,"Annagrimaced."Wanttomeethim?"
SheturnedtodragRandalloverbyonearmwhilehenibbledonchickenwings."ThisisRandall
Wayne,"shetoldthem."He'samedicalstudent."
"I'maresident,thankyouverymuch,"Randallsaid,gloweringather."Onlyashortleapfrommy
ownpractice,whenIfinishmyresidencynextyear,"headded,grinningatthem."Remembermeif
youbreakanything."
"I'lldothat,"Hardenpromised.
"Oh,Randall,"Annasighed."You'rehopeless."
"Patientsarescarceforyoungdoctors,"here-
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EVAN
mindedher."Can'tblameamanfortryingtodrumupbusinessinadvance?"
"Certainlynot,"Mirandasaidlaughing.
Annadidn'twanttoask,butshecouldn'tquitehelpit."Idon'tsupposeanyoftherestofthefamily
camewithyou?"sheasked.
"JustEvan,"Hardenmurmuredreluctantly,watchingthewayhereyesbrightened."He'sparkingthe
car."Hedidn'twanttotellhertherest.Anna'shelplessattractiontoEvanwassoobviousthathewas
alreadyhurtingforher.
"Hemaybeoutthereallnight,"Randallpointedout."Ittookmethirtyminutestofindsomeplaceto
leavemycar."
"Evan'sresourceful,"Hardensaid.HeglancedregretfullyatAnna.Shewasgoingtoneedtimeto
steelherselfbeforeEvancamein.Heowedherthat."AndNina'swithhim.She'sawhizatfindingthe
impossible."
ChapterTwo
Annadidn'tknowhowshemanagedtorespondtothatcasualcomment,butshesavedherpridewitha
smileandanoffhandremark.Evanhadmadeitabundantlyclearthathedidn'twantheradulation,now
hewaspushingtheknifehome.He'dbroughtNina,whomeveryoneknewwashisoldflame.The
womanwasnowasuccessfulfashionmodelinHouston,andshewasvisitinglocally.Probablyshe
wasdoingherbesttorekindlethoseembers.IfEvanhadbroughthertoPolly'sparty,hehadtobe
encouragingher.
"Mybrotherisanidiot,"HardentoldMirandaastheymovedaway,hisblueeyesglittering."MyGod,
didyouseewhatitdidtoher?Evanthinksshe'sachild,butthekindofhurtIsawinherfaceisn't
juvenile."
"Doesn'thefeelanythingatallforher?"Mirandaasked.
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"Idon'tknow.Ifhedoes,he'sburiedit.He'sstubborn,andhecanbecruelwhenhe'spushed.Anna's
madeagameofit,playingatflirtingandteasing.Hethinksthat'sallthereistoit.Hedoesn'tthink
she'sserious."
"Butsheis."
Henodded."I'msureofit.It'sacamouflage.Afterall,thesafestwaytohideyourfeelingsisto
exaggeratethem.Poorlittlething.Randallisn'tapatchonEvan,butshe'llwindupmarryinghimout
ofunrequitedloveformybrother."
"Suchawaste."Mirandasighed.
Hepulledhercloser."Indeeditis.ThankGod,we'repastallthatuncertainty."
Shesmiled,liftingradianteyestohis."Iloveyou."
Hisblueeyeskindled.Hebentandkissedhersoftly."Icansendthatback,multiplied."
"Yes,"shewhispered,pressingclose."Iknow.Wehavesomuch,Harden."
Hisleanhandlightlytouchedthesoftswellofherbellyandhiseyesblazedintohers."MorethanI
everdreamed,"hewhispered."DidIevertellyouthatyou'remylife?"
Mirandawastoochokedwithemotiontoevenanswer.Shepressedcloseagainsthissidewhilehis
lipsbrushedherforeheadwithexquisitetenderness.
Anna,watchingthemcovertly,wantedtocry.Whattheyfeltforeachotherwasalmosttangible.She'd
neverknownthatkindofintimatecaring.Sheprobablyneverwould.Randall'sideaofromance
wasafewkissespunctuatedwithgroping.Hemightmakeanexcellentdoctor,buthehadalongway
togoasevenalukewarmlover.Andhewasn't,couldneverbe,Evan.
ShesippedherpunchwhileRandallspoketosomeoneheknewfromthehospital.Shewouldn'tlook
atthedoor,sheabsolutelywouldn't.Shewasn'tgoingtogiveEvanthesatisfactionofknowingthathe
waskillingherwithhisindifference.
"Finally,somethingtodrink!"cameahusky,purringvoicefrombehindher."Hello,Anna!"NinaRay
said,smilingfaintly."Ihopethatpunchisspiked.Ireallyneedadrink.Evanhadtoparkalmostinthe
pond!Myfeetarekillingmefromsomuchwalking."
"That'snothingunusualisit,foramodel?"Evantaunted.
Annacouldn'tmeethiseyes.Sheglancedathiswhiteshirtandblacktieanddinnerjacketandaverted
hergazetogorgeouslydarkNinainawhiteandblackgownthatputeveryoneelse'sdressestoshame.
"Youlookgreat,"Annasaidsincerely."Iseeyouallthetimeinfashionmagazines.Forasmall-town
girl,yousurehititbig."
"Ihadalotofhelp,lovey,"Ninamused.SheglancedupatEvanwithaself-confidentsexinessthat
madeAnnagrindherteethinfrustration.She'dneverlearnhowtodothat.
"Where'sPolly?"EvanaskedashefilledpunchcupsforNinaandthenhimself.
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"Circulating,"Annasaid,smiling."She'sverymuchtheladyofthehour."
"Shedeservesit,"Evanreplied."Thatmallwillbringinalotofnewbusinesses,andplentyof
revenue."
"Everythinghelpstoswellthetaxbase,"Randallremarked,joiningthem.HesmiledatNina."You
looklovely!"heenthused,andAnnacouldhavehithim.Hehadn'tbeenhalfthatvocalaboutherown
appearance.
"Thankyou.Andwho'sthis?"Ninaasked,herdarkeyesflirtingwithRandall.
"RandallWayne,"hesaid,takingherslenderhandinhis.Heactuallykissedtheknuckles,justabove
thered-paintednails."Nicetomeetyou,MissRay."
Ninabeamed."YouknowwhoIam?"
"Everyonedoes.Yourfaceisunmistakable.Iseeitonmagazinecoversallthetime."
"Yes."Ninasighedcomplacently."MycareerhastakenoffsinceEvanhelpedmefindthatnew
agency."
"Anythingtohelp,"Evansaidsuavely.HewastryingnottonoticeAnnaandfailingmiserably.In
thatsilvergown,herexquisiteskinwasdisplayedalmosttooblatantly.Herhoney-browntanmadeher
complexionevenprettierandemphasizedherbigblueeyes.Itwasanefforttokeepawayfromher.
"Thebandisverygood,"Ninaremarked."Evan,dolet'sdance!"
Shetookhishandandheadedforthedancefloor
withoutgivinghimtimetospeaktoRandallorAnna.Notthathewouldhave,anyway,Annathought.
Hewasgivingherablatantmessage-handsoff.Sheliftedhercupofpunchtoherlipswithasigh.
"Thispunchneedshelp,"oneoftheguestsremarked,slippingabottleofwhiskeyfromunderhis
dinnerjacket."Heregoes!"
Annawatchedhimfillthebowlwithawrygrin.Sheknewoneoftheguestswouldhavehivesifhe
sawthat.Evandidn'tlikepunch,though,sotherewaslittlelikelihoodthathe'dimbibe.Hehated
alcohol.Annahadheardthatheactuallytookaglassofwinebacktothekitchenonenightwhenhe
washavingdinnerwithJustinandShelbyBallenger.
ShementionedthattoRandallafterthepunchspi-kerhadsampledhishandiworkandretiredtothe
dancefloorwithhispartner.
"Yes,Iheardaboutthat,"Randallremarked."JustinandShelbyhavethreeboysnow,haven'tthey?"
"Yes.They'reneckandneckwithCalhounandAbby."
"Theyhavetwoboysandagirl,"heremindedher."IheardHardenandEvan'sbrotherConnal
mentionitatapartyIattendedaweekago."
Shelaughedgently."ConnalinsistedthatCalhounandAbbyhadadaughterjustaftertheirsecond
childwasborn.Theydon'tTheyhaveasonnamedTerry,andwhenConnalheardthename,he
assumedthey'dgottenthedaughtertheywanted.Heknowsbetternow,ofcourse,butit'sbecome
somethingofafam-
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ilyjoke.NotthatanybodymentionsittoCalhounorAbby."
"Terryiskindofaunisexname,"Randallsaid.
"It'sshortforTerrance,whichisn't,"shecorrected."Imaginethat-twobrothersandsixsonsandnot
agirlinthebunch."Sheshookherhead.
"WhataboutShelby'sbrother,Tyler?"
"Heandhiswifecan'thavechildren,"Annasaidwithquietregret."Butthey'veadoptedfive!Nell
wasveryupset,butTylerinvolvedherinoneofthosefosterparentprograms.Innotime,shewas
knee-deepinkidswho'dhadnorealhomeatall.Theysaidthechildrenarethegreatestmiracleof
theirlives."
"Auniquesolution,"Randallagreed."Onecoupleinsevenisinfertile.Itmustbedifficult,although
theyseemtohavefoundawaytocopewiththeloss."
AnnaloweredhereyestothepunchtableandthoughtaboutneverhavingEvan'schildren.Notthat
shewould,becausehehadNina.Itwassadandsobering.
"Isupposeifyouloveeachother,noobstacleisinsurmountable,"shesaiddimly.
"Isuppose.Here.Trysomeofthis.It'srathergood-Hehandedheracupofspikedpunchandshe
sippedit,wincingatthestingofthealcoholonhertongue.Theicefruitringhadn'tdilutedthe
whiskeyverymuch,andAnnaseldomdrank.
"That'sstrongstuff,"sheremarked.
"Onlyifyouaren'tusedtoit."Hechuckled."You'rejustlikeEvanaboutalcohol,aren'tyou?"
Sheavertedherface.Heobviouslyhadnoideahowmuchthatremarkhurther."Idon'tlikealcohol,"
shesaidabsently.
"Yes,I'venoticed."
Shedidn'thearthefaintmockeryinhistone.HereyeshadbeendrawnagainstherwilltoEvan.He
wassotallandhuskythathedwarfedalmosteveryothermanintheroom.HehadthelovelyNina
closeinhisbigarmsandhewasholdingherwithcasualintimacy.Bothherslenderarmswerelooped
aroundhisneck;hishandsonherwaistheldhercarelesslyclose.He'dneverheldAnnalikethat.
Probablyheneverwould.
Hereyessoftenedandsaddenedatthesightofhim.Ineveningclothes,hewasdevastating.Hisdark
tanwasemphasizedbythewhiteshirthewore,andtheblacktie,dinnerjacketandslacksmadehim
looktallerandverydignified.JustlookingathimmadeAnnafeelwarmandsafe,likecominghome.
Ifonlyhefeltthatwayabouther.Itwouldbeheaven.
Evanfeltherraptgazeandmetitacrosstheroom.Itwaslikelightningstriking.Hisbodytautened
helplessly,andhiseyesnarrowed.Annaagain,hethoughtangrily,playingwithmatches.Shedidn't
knowwhatshewasdoing.Atnineteenshewasjustbeginningtofeelherpowerasawoman,andshe
wasusingitblatantlywitheverymanwhocameclosetoher.Thatwasallitwas,sohe'dbetter
remember.
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HetorehisgazeawayandbenttokissNinainfrontofthewholeassembly.Hediditthoroughly
andwithfierceneed,tobanishthesightofAnna'swoundedface.
Ninawasbreathlesswhenhelethergo,andAnnahadvanished.Atleasthe'daccomplishedthatmuch.
"Wanttotakemehomerightnow,bigman?"Ninaaskedhuskily."I'mwilling."
ButEvanwasn't.Heshookhishead."We'dbetternotvanishbeforePollymakesherspeech,"hesaid
withforcedhumor.
Ninasighed."Youstilldon'treallywantme,doyou?"sheaskedquietly."Ican'tgetyouwithina
mileofmyapartment."
"We'refriends,"heremindedher,smiling."Otherwise,whywouldIbegivingyourcareera
helpinghand?"
"Tomakesomeotherwomanjealous,I'mbeginningtothink,"shesaidcandidly,watchinghis
eyelidsflinch."Ortousemeascamouflage.Becauseyoucertainlydon'twantmejustformyself.You
hardlyevertakemeout."
Hesmiled."Ikeepbusy."
"Notthatbusy,andyoudon'tgooutwithmanywomen.That'sright,"shenoddedwhenshesawhis
puzzledexpression,"IstillhavefriendsinJacobsvillewhokeepmeup-to-dateonwho'sseeing
whom.Youdon'tdateanyoneregularly.ThegossipisthatAnnaCochranhasbeenseenpursuingyou
everywhereexceptupatree."
Hedrewinaheavybreath."That'spartiallytrue."
"Sothat'swhyyoubroughtmehere.Probablywhyyoukissedme,too."Shesmiledlazily."Okay,
lover.Ifyouneedprotection,hereIam.Doyourworst.We'llsayit'sforoldtimes'sake."
"You'reverygenerous,"hemused.
"You'vebeenthat,"sherepliedseriously."I'llhelpyouscrapethekidoff,noproblem."
Hedidn'tlikeitputthatway,asifAnnawasaleech.Hefrowned.
"She'sababeinthewoods,isn'tshe?"Ninawassaying,hereyesonAnnastandingatthepunchbowl
withRandall."Isshegoingtomarrythemedicalstudent,doyouthink?"
"HowshouldIknow?"heaskedirritably.He'dneverthoughtofRandallasmuchofathreattoAnna's
maidenhood,butshewasspendingalotoftimewiththeyoungermanlately.
"She'swell-to-do.Orhermotheris,"Ninamused,thinkingaloud."Ayoungdoctorgoinginto
practiceneedsarichwife."
Evanstiffened."Annaisn'tthatstupid."
"Darling,she'sateenager.Whatdoessheknowaboutmen?MyGod,I'llbetshe'sevenavirgin!"
Evandidn'twanttothinkaboutthat.Itmadehisbloodrunhot.HeturnedNinatotherhythm."Annais
Randall'sbusiness,notmine.Dance.Helpmegetheroffmyneck."
Ninasmiledwarmly."Mypleasure."
Annawatchedthemdanceandtookanothersipof
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herpunch,andthenanother."Iwishyoucoulddance,Randall,"shesaid,thewordssoundingalittle
slurred.Shefeltveryrelaxed.
"SodoI,sometimes.Wanttotryit?"heasked,puttingdownhiscup."Ifeelprettylooserightnow."
"Good."
Shewentintohisarmsandtaughthimthebasictwo-step.Hebegantogrin,andhishandsbrought
hergentlycloser.
"Thisisnice,"hesaidwonderingly.
"Soitis."Shelayhercheekonhischestandclosedhereyes,barelymovingasthemusic
continued.ThedevilwithEvan,shetoldherself.Shedidn'tcareifhemadelovetohisoldflameright
thereonthedancefloor.Shejustwouldn'tlook.
"Havingagoodtime,Anna?"oneofPolly'sfriendsaskedasshedancednearbywithherhusband.
"Oh,yes,"Annarepliedpolitely."Ihopeyouare."
"It'slovely.Evan'sbroughtsomeonewithhim,Isee,"thewomanaddedwithafaintlymocking
smile."Wardingyouoff,ishe?"
Annaflushed.Overtheyearsshe'dgottenusedtobeingteasedaboutherpursuitofEvan,but
tonightitstung."Nina'sanoldfriendofhis,"shepointedout
"Yes,buthedoesn'tusuallycometoPolly'spartieswithawomanintow.Infact,"shesaidcattily,
"hedoesn'tusuallycomeatallthesedays,doeshe?
Isupposehe'sreallydesperateifhehastolookupoldflamestodiscourageyou."
AnnapulledawayfromRandall,whowasopenlyscowling,andmovedbacktothepunchbowl,
leavingthewomanwithhermouthopen.
"Whatareyousoupsetabout?"Randallasked,joiningherthere."Everybodyknowsthatyouused
tochaseEvan.You'renotdoingitnow,sowhyletpeoplebotheryou?"Heslidanarmaroundher
waist."You'vegotme,now."
Hadshereally?Everytimeanewwomancameintotheroom,shecouldseeRandall'seyessizingher
up.Hewasabornflirt,anddespitehislackofconventionalgoodlooks,hecouldbeutterlycharming.
"IguessIdidn'trealizehowblatantImusthaveseemed,"Annasaidquietly,hereyesdowncast."Iwas
onlyplaying."Shehadn'tbeen,butitsalvagedsomeofherpridetopretendshewas.
"Iknowthat,"Randallsaid."Sodomostotherpeople.Don'tworryaboutgossip.I'vebeenignoringit
forweeks."
Herheadjerkedup."Whathaveyouheard?"
Heshruggedandsmiledalittle."Justthatyou'dbeenmadlypursuingEvanallovertown.Accidental
meetingsthatweren'taccidental,hangingaroundhimatpartiesandflirtingshamelessly,thatkindof
thing.TheysaidEvancouldn'tgoanywhereinJacobsvillewithoutyourturningupthere.Ithoughtit
wasfunny."
"Evandidn't,"shesaidmiserably."Iwentover-
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boardandhe'sfinallyreachedtheendofhisrope.IwishI'drealizedsoonerhowsillyIwas
behaving."
"Wasthatwomanright?DidhebringthelovelyNinatowardyouoff?"
Shenodded,feelingconspicuousnow."I'msureofit.PoorEvan."
"Idon'tknow,"Randallmurmured,smilingather."Itmustbeflatteringtobechasedbyapretty
youngwoman."
"Itmustbeexasperating,youmean,"shesaid,suddenlyunderstanding.Howcouldshehavelet
thingsgothatfarwithoutrealizingthepositionshewasputtingEvanin?She'dteasedandflirted,
hopingtomakehimnoticeher.Butallshe'daccomplishedwastoscarehimoff.Whatanidiotshe'd
been!
Asifrealizingthatwasn'tbadenough,shehadtofacethefactthateveryoneknewthathissquiring
ofNinawastokeepheratbay.Itwashumiliatingtohavehimpubliclyrejectherlikethis.Asshe
glancedaround,shecaughtpeoplelookingatherandbegantonoticethefaintpityintheireyes.
Shehadtofighttearsastheeveningworeon.EvandancedwithnooneexceptNinaandwasso
attentivetoherthatspeculationontherekindlingoftheoldrelationshipranrampant.Thewayhe
avoidedAnnaspokevolumes.NobodynoticedthatAnnawasdoingherbesttoavoidhimaswell.She
clungtoRandalllikealeech.
Pollygaveaspeechandintroducedtwoofthemall'smainbackers,alongwiththemerchantswho
werealreadycommittedtoopeningbusinessesinit.
Thespeechwaswellreceived,anditdiddivertAnnafromhermisery.
ButdespiteRandall'scompany,Annafeltdejectedandemptyinside.Sheputonagoodfront,laughing
andglittering,sothatnoonewouldguesshowbadlyhurtshewas.
Whenthecrowdstartedtodwindle,Pollypausedbesideherdaughterwithanaffectionatesmile."I
thoughtitwentratherwell.Howareyoudoing,darling?"
"Marvelous,thanks,"Annasaidairily,forcingasmile."It'sbeenlovely,hasn'tit,Randall?"
Randallwaswatchinghernarrowly."Howmanytimeshaveyouhitthatpunchbowl,Anna?"
"Onlythree,"shesaid,blinking."Why?"
HeexchangedaknowinglookwithPolly.
"Somebodyspikedthepunch,"Pollyguessed.
"Howdidyouknow?"
"Evansmelledhispunchandputitdownwithaviciousglareinmydirection,"Pollysaiddryly.
"Ishouldhaveknownhe'dnoticeitfirst,"Randalllaughed.Hecheckedhiswatch."Goodness,I'vegot
togo.I'moncallatthehospitalfrommidnight,andit'salmostthat.I'llbeintouchtomorroworthe
nextday,assoonasIgetsomefreetime.'Night,"hemurmured,brushingacarelesskissacross
Anna'sforehead.
Shewatchedhimgowithnorealinterest.Pollyputanaffectionatearmaroundhershoulders.
"It'skillingyou,isn'tit?"sheaskedwithunusualprotectiveness."You'llsurvive,mydarling.Weall
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233
do.Evanjustisn'tthetypetosettledown.You'vealwaysknownthat."
"Iwasonlyeverflirting,"Annasaidstubbornly."Itwasn'tforreal.Ithoughtheknewit."
Pollydidn'tcontradictherdaughter.Sherecognizedtheanguishinthoseblueeyes,though.Her
armcontracted."Let'sgoandlistentotheband.Randallwillphonetomorrow.Maybehe'lltakeyou
outtoeat.Youstayhometoomuch."
"IguessIdo.Randall'snice."
"You'lllearnonedaythatwehavetotakewhatwecangetoutoflifeandnotwishforthe
impossiblethingstoohard,"Pollysaidgently."Onedayatatime,pet."
Annasmiled."Yes."Butshewasthinkingofhowmanydaysitwasgoingtotaketogetovertonight.
EvanandNinagravitatedtowardthem,andAnnahadtofighttheurgetocutandrun.
"Itwasalovelyparty.Thankyouforaskingme,"NinasaidwithasmileinPolly'sdirection.
"Itwasmypleasure,"theolderwomanreplied."Evan,I'mgladyoucame,too.Ididn'treallyexpect
you.IfNinamanagedtopryyououtofyouroffice,goodforher."
"Iplantopryhimoutalotmoreoften,now,"Ninapurred,leaningagainstEvan'sshoulder.Anna
didn'tspeakorlookathim,andafteraminute,hestaredatheropenly.
"Howmuchofthatpunchhaveyouhad?"EvandemandedofAnna,hisdarkeyessparking.
Shedidn'tlookathim."Onlyalittle,"shelied."Iknowit'sspiked."
"Youshouldhavepoureditoutandmademore,"hetoldPollybluntly."Annaisn'tallowedtodrink
hardliquor,surely?"
Pollystarted."Evan,she'snineteen,goingontwenty,"shesaidwithurbaneamusement."Ofcourse
she'sallowedtodrink."
"Alcoholcankill,"hepersisted."Especiallyifsheevergetsinthehabitofdrivingunderthe
influence.Shecouldgotojail..."
"Idon'tdrinkanddrive,Evan,"Annasaidsolemnly."Ineverwould.Ifthealcoholbothersyouso
much,whydon'tyougohome?"
Shepouredherselfanothercup-herfourth,actually-andliftedittoherlips,drainingitwhileherblue
eyesdefiedtheangrydarkonesglaringather.
"Can'tyoudoanythingwithher?"hedemandedofPolly.
Anna'seyebrowsarched."Mymotherdoesn'ttellmewhattodoanymore."
Evan'sowneyebrowsarched.Thatdidn'tsoundlikeAnna.Notatall."You'renotusedtoliquor,"he
began.
Shesmiledcoldly."Watchmegetusedtoit,"shereplied,stillsmartingfromhispublichumiliationof
herandwantingtohurtback."NothingIdoisanyofyourdamnedbusiness.Yourememberthat."
Shewhirledonherheel,alittlewobbly,andwenttowardthestaircase.Thewhiskeyinthepunchwas
lyingheavilyonherstomachandshefeltnausearis-
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inginherthroat.Butshefeltasifshe'djustdeclaredindependence,anditwasn'tabadfeelingatall.
Evanwasn'tgoingtobeherfatalweaknessanymore.Evenifshe'ddeservedhisrejection,hecould
havesimplyspokentoherinprivate.Hedidn'thavetodoitlikethis.
Evanstaredafterher,scowling.ItwasthefirsttimeinmemorythatAnnahadtalkedbacktohim.
Hewasusedtoblindadorationfromher,oratworst,pert,flirtingcomments.Starkhostilitywasnew
andalltooexciting.Hisbodywasreactingtoherantagonisminwayshe'dneverexpected.
"She'sabittipsy,Ithink,Evan.Don'tmindanythingshesays,"Pollysaid,wavingitoff."Bythe
way,I'vegotanewinvestmentpropertythatyoumightbeinterestedin.Wanttostopbytheoffice
sometimenextweekandlookoveraprospectus?"
"Yes,I'dlikethat,"Evansaid,preoccupied.
"Let'sgo,"Ninacoaxed."I'msotired,andI'vegotashowinthemorning."
"Sure.Goodnight,Polly,"Evansaid.
Shenodded,smilingcuriouslyatthewayEvan'seyeskeptgoingtothestaircase.Hispossessive
attitudetowardAnnastartledandamusedher.Ofcourse,Evanwasthirty-four,toooldtobetaking
anyrealmasculineinterestinherpoor,lovesickdaughter.Sheturnedandwentbacktoherremaining
guests,thrustinghisoddbehaviortothebackofhermind.Annawouldgetoverhim.Itwasjusta
crush.
Annawassickmostofthenight,andnotjustfromthealcohol.Ithadbeenaneye-opening
experience
tohaveEvanflauntawomaninfrontofher.Forallofthetwoyears,she'dbeenmadlypursuinghim,
he'dneverusedthatcounterattackbefore.Probablynowthatheknewitbotheredher,itwouldn'tbethe
lasttimeheresortedtoit.
Well,shetoldherself,thatwasthat.Ifhewasdesperateenoughtothrowhimselfintothearmsofan
oldflametoescapeAnna,itwastimetoretreat.She'dalwaysknownsomehowthathewasnever
goingtotakeherseriously.Sheshouldhavegivenuplongago.
Thenextmorningshebraidedherlongblondhair,putonhershortsandhaltertopandwentouttoset
uphereaselinthegarden.Shelovedtopaint.Shewasquitegoodatlandscapes,havingevensolda
few.Itgavehersomethingtodowhenshewasn'tworking.
Pollywasattheofficetoday-shesometimesworkedsevendaysaweek.ButAnnaworkedfiveand
paintedtheothertwo.Nowshewastoyingseriouslywiththeideaofquittingtheoffice.Shelovedart
andshehadaneyeforinvestmentpaintings.Shecouldasktheownerofthelocalartgallery,whowas
afriendofthefamily,togiveherajob.Itwouldgetherawayfromtheoffice,whereshewasalltoo
likelytorunintoEvan.Hewantedheroutofhislife,soshedecidedthatshe'dgivehimahelping
hand.Itwastheleastshecoulddoafterhavingpesteredhimfortwoyears.Coldsober,shecouldeven
understandwhyhe'dbroughtNinatothepartylastnight.Poorman.Hemusthavebeenattheveryend
ofhisrope.
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Asshedabbedpaintonthecanvas,sheconsideredheroptions.Shedidn'treallywanttoleave
home,buteventhatmightbeagoodidea.Shewasgoingontwentyyearsold.Itwastimeshehada
lifeofherown,apartfromhermother's.Shehadtostartthinkingaboutherfuture.MarryingRandall
washardlyanoption,eventhoughhe'dbeenhintingthathewouldn'tbeaversetotheidea.
ConsideringPolly'swealth,itwouldbeastrategicmoveonhispart.Itwouldgivehimthefinancial
wherewithaltobuyintoanestablishedpractice,becausecertainlyPollywouldbewillingtohelpher
newson-in-law.
Thelandscapeshewasworkingonwasastudyofsunflowersagainstthesky.Shewasusingahuge
sunflowerinthegardenasamodel.Itwasalazysummerdaywithonlyaslightbreeze,andthesun
feltlikeheavenonherskin.
Acardoorslammed.Shedidn'tlookup.Itwasalmostlunchtimeandshewasexpectinghermother.
"I'moutback,"shecalled."Ifyou'reready,there'sapastasaladinthefridge.Iwanttofinishthis
beforeIcomein."
Footstepsansweredhershout,buttheydidn'tbelongtoawoman.Theyweretooheavy.
HerheadturnedjustasEvancamearoundthesideofthehouse.Hewaswearingworkclothes-jeans
andadust-stainedblueplaidshirt,withdisreputablebootsandaStetsonthatwasbatteredalmost
beyondrecognition.Shestiffenedwithhurtindignation,butshecouldn'taffordtoletitshow.She
turnedbacktoherpainting.
"Where'sPolly?"heaskedwithoutpreamble.
Somuchfortheforlornhopethathemighthavecometoseeher,toapologizefordraggingherpride
throughthedustthenightbefore.Shekepthereyesonthecanvas,sothathewouldn'tseethe
disappointmentinthem.
"Ifsheisn'tattheoffice,she'sonherwayhereforlunch,Iguess,"shesaid.
Hisdarkeyesslidoverherwithreluctantinterest."Shewassupposedtoleaveaprospectusformeon
anewpieceofland.Knowanythingaboutit?"
Sheshookherhead."Sorry."Shetracedasunflowerpetalwithmaniacalaccuracy,tokeephermind
offherbreakingheart."Ifyou'dliketowait,Loricanmakeyousomeicedtea."
Annawassounlikeherusualselfthathefeltoutofhiselement."What?Noinvitationtoravishyou
amongthesunflowers?"
"I'vedecidedtogrowup,"shesaidwithoutlookingathim."Chasingafterunwillingmenisfor
adolescents.Fromnowon,I'monlygoingaftermenIthinkIcancatch."
"LikeRandall?"heasked.
Sheshrugged."Whynot?"
Herattitudedisturbedhim.Heleanedagainstthefencethatsurroundedthesmallgarden."Ididn't
knowyoupainted."
"Atthespeedyoualwaysgoaroundme,I'mnotsurprised,"shesaidimperturbablyanddottedmore
yellowonthecanvas."Nomoregames,Evan,"shesaid,lookingupathimquietly."Igotthemessage
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EVAN
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239
lastnight.Ifyoureallycameheretomakeitclear,there'snoneed."Shemanagedasmile."I'msorryI
madeyourlifesodifficult.Iwon'tembarrassyouanymore,Ipromise."
Hefeltempty.Hiseyesnarrowedassheturnedbacktohercanvas.Shedidn'tsoundlikeherself.In
fact,hemused,shedidn'tlooklikethekidhe'dalwaysthoughther.Thoselong,tannedlegswerea
woman's,likethefullbreastsunderthatskimpyhalter.Shewasdelectable.
Hequietlywatchedher."AreyouandPollygoingtotheBallengerbarbecuenextweek?"
"Idon'tknow."Sheglancedathimshyly."Ifyou'regoingtobethere,probablynot.Idon'twantto
doyoursociallifeanymoredamagethanIalreadyhave.Nowonderyou'vebeenstayingawayfrom
localsocialoccasions.IhadnoideahowdifficultI'dmadethingsforyouuntilthegossipstartedto
getbacktome."
Hestarted.Thatdidn'tsoundlikeAnna.Heopenedhismouthtospeak,butbeforehecoulddenythe
insinuation,Polly'scarroaredupthedriveway.Secondslatershecamearoundthecorner,having
seenEvan'scar."Thereyouare!"shesaid,laughing."I'vebroughttheprospectus.Iwasgoingtorun
itouttoyou.Anna,islunchready?"
"Lorisaidit'sonthetable,"Annareplied."I'llbeinlater.Iwanttofinishthiswhilethelight'sright."
"Artists,"Pollysighed."Okay,honey.Evan,stay
andeatwithme,sinceAnna'sbentonbeingeccentric."
Evan'sdarkeyeslingeredonAnna'sprofile."Ihavetogetbacktoworkmyself,"hesaidhesitantly.
"We'removinginnewcattletoday,soeverybody'soutintheyardshelping-evenmother."
"Inafewyears,you'llhaveplentyofhelp,"Pollylaughed."Allthosebabiescomingalong."
"Yes."HeturnedandtooktheprospectusPollywasholdingout."I'llrunthroughthiswithHardenand
theothersandgiveyouacallwhenwedecide."
"Fine.Sureyouwon'tstayforlunch?"
HewaitedforAnnatosaysomething,tosecondhermother'sofferatleast.Butshedidn't.Shesaid
nothing.Shedidn'tlookup.Afteraminute,heshruggedandmadehisexcuses.
Whenhewasgone,Pollyconsideredherdaughterwithopencuriosity.
"HaveyouandEvanargued?"sheaskedsoftly.
"Ofcoursenot,"Annasaid.Sheturned,smiling,tohermother."I'vejustdecidedtostopmakinghis
lifemiserable.Havingmedoghimateverystepmusthavebeenwearing."
Pollyrelaxedalittle."I'msureherealizesit'sjustastageyou'regoingthrough,darling,"shereplied
gently."Evan'snotabadman.He'sjustacard-carryingbachelor.You'reamarryingtypeofgirl.Even
ifyouweren'tyearstooyoungforhimyourgoalsaretoodifferent."
"You'reright,ofcourse,"Annasaid,tryingnottochokeonthewords.
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EVAN
"Iimaginehe'llbepleasedtobeofftheendangeredlist,allthesame."Shelaughed."Youwere
gettingprettyrelentless.I,uh,heardaboutthewhiskeybottlesandtheplasticsnakes."
"Anotherployinmyrelentlesscampaignthatfailed."Annasighed,managingnottorevealhow
hurtshereallywas.Sheconcentratedonhercanvas."Well,it'sovernow.Hedidlookrelieved,didn't
he?"
Pollynodded,buthereyesweresayingsomethingelse.Shewasn'tsureexactlyhowEvanhad
looked,butreliefwasn'tthewordshewouldhavechosen.ShehadtheoddestfeelingthatAnnahad
shockedhim.
ChapterThree
Infact,perplexedwasmorethewayEvanfeltashedrovebacktotheTremayneranch.Hehadn'tslept
well,rememberingthewayAnnahadlookedwhenheandNinalefttheparty.He'dusedtheprospectus
asanexcusetocomeoverandseehowmuchdamagehe'ddone.
Whathe'dfoundhadsurprisedhim.Annawasapparentlyindifferenttohispresenceandnotatall
anxiousforhiscompany.Aftertwoyearsofbeingpursued,teased,flirtedwithandvamped,itwas
shockingtohaveAnnatreathimlikeastranger.
Hepulledupatthehouseandwentinside,scowling.
"Somethingbotheringyou?"Hardenaskedfromthestudydoorway.
Evanwentinandclosedthedoor.HecouldtalktoHardenashecouldtonooneelse,andheneededa
sympatheticearrightnow.
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"Anna'sbotheringme,"hesaidshortly.
"That'snothingnew,"Hardenreplied."You'vebeencomplainingaboutAnnaforaslongasIcan
remember."
Evanscowled,turning."No,"hesaid."Youdon'tunderstand.She'signoringme."
Harden'sblueeyestwinkled."Anewploy?"
Evansatperchedontheedgeofthedesk."Shehasn'tbeenthesamesincelastnight.She'sdecidedthat
she'sbeenruiningmylife,soshe'sgivingmeup."
"Niceofher,"Hardencommented.
"It'sthewayshe'sdoingitthatworriesme,"camethequietreply."She'stoocalm."
"Youdidn'tseethewayshelookedwhenshesawyouwithNina,"Hardenreplied."Itcutherup."
Evancursedunderhisbreath."IthoughtIwasdoingtherightthing.Ididn'twanttohurther.Ijust
wantedtogetheroffmyback."
"Youdid.Sowhat'stheproblem?"
Thebiggermansighedwearily."Ididn'tknowhowitwasgoingtofeel,havingherignoreme
completely."
"Quiteanadmissionfromyou,isn'tit?"
"Iguessitis."Hestudiedhiswornboot."ButIstillthinkIdidtherightthing.She'syearstoo
young."
"Soyoukeepsaying.Iguessshefinallylistened."
"Iguess."
"Ninaseemssmittenalloveragain.Isitserious?"
Evan'sdarkeyesmethisbrother'sblueones."I
don'twantNina.Thatwasoveryearsago.Ifinancedsomenewpublicityforherandshe'spayingme
back."
"Isee,"Hardenmurmured."She'shelpingyoufendoffAnna."
"Unnecessarily,asithappens.Anna'sdroppedhermadpursuit.Shesaidthegamewasover.Was
thatwhatitwasallalongtoher-agame?"
"Maybeyou'retheonewhowastakingittooseriously,"Hardensaidgently."Annaplayedwithyou,
broughtyououtofyourshell.Thereweretimeswhenyoualmostseemedtoenjoyit.Thenyou'dget
yourbackupandcomplainthatshewashoundingyou."
Trueenough,Evanthought,becausejustoccasionallyhefeltaragingdesireforAnnathathehadto
quell.Ithadbeenbuildingforalongtime,butlatelyitwasexplosive.Ninahadbeenanactof
desperation,asAnnahadsaid.Buttheactionseemedtobebackfiring.Hewastheonewho'dbeen
burned.
"Anna'savirgin,"Evansaidshortly."I'malmostcertainofit.Ihadaroughexperiencewithan
innocentwoman.Thesedays,Ilookforsophistication."
"Iknowthat,"Hardenrepliedkindly."Butthatwomanwasn'tAnna.Ifshelovedyou,reallyloved
you..."
"Annaisn'toldenoughtobethatseriousaboutaman."
"Ihopeyou'reright,"hemurmured."Becauseif
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shereallycared,andyou'vekilledit,youmayhavecostyourselfthebrighteststarinyoursky."
Evanscowled."Itoldyou,shesaiditwasonlyagame!"
"Wouldshebelikelytoconfessundyinglovewhenyou'djustthrownoneofyouroldconquestsin
herface?"
Ofcoursenot.Thiswasgettinghimnowhere."I'llgetbackouttothestockyard.Coming?"
"Inaminute.I'vegottodriveMirandaintothedoctor,"hesaid,grinning.
Evanshookhishead."FirstPepi,nowMirandaandJoAnne.I'msurroundedbypregnantwomen."
"UncleEvan,"Hardenmocked.
Thebigmansmiledgently."Ilovekids.Iguessit'sgoingtobeuptomotherandmetospoilthem
all."
"Youmighthavesomeofyourownoneday."
Evan'seyesgrewquietandsad."Thatisn'tonthebooks."
"Anna'snotafraidofyou,forGod'ssake!"Hardengrowled.
"Ofcoursesheisn't,I'venevermadeaheavypassather!"Evanrepliedlevelly,hisdarkeyes
unblinking."LouisawasfineuntilItriedtotakehertobed!"
Hardenstaredathim."Nothingventured,nothinggained."
"EvenifAnnawasoldenough,I'dneverhavethenerve,don'tyousee?"Hestuckhishandsinhis
pocketsandstaredoutthewindow."Thatoneex-
periencespoiledintimacyforme.IlostcontrolandhurtLouisa.I'vebeenafraideversincethatI'ddo
itagain.IputRandyHardyinthehospitalwhenwegotintothatbrawlafewyearsback,didn'tI?"he
addedtoemphasizehisconcern.
"Accidentally."
"Yes.Well,IcoulddothesamethingtoawomanifIlostmyhead,"Evanreturnedhotly."Mysizeis
nojoke."
"You'rebig,"Hardenagreed."Andstrongasabull.Nobody'sarguingwiththat.Butyou'regiving
yourselfacomplex,andit'snotnecessary.Justbecauseonehystericalwomanaccusedyouof
breakingherribs..."
"Ididbruisethemprettybadly,"Evansaidmiserably.
"Shebruisedthembytryingtofightyouandfallingoutofbed,"Hardenremindedhimharshly."She
washalfyoursizeandallbones,andaterrifiedvirginintothebargain.Annaisabiggirl,talland
sturdyandvoluptuous.She'smuchmoreyourtype."
"Idon'twantAnna!"Evanreturned.
"Suityourself.She'llprobablymarrythehonorablephysicianandhavetenkids."
"Ifthat'swhatshewants."HisbloodrancoldatthethoughtofRandallgivingherchildren.Hestuck
hishatoverhiseyesandwalkedoutoftheroom.
Harden,watchinghim,shookhishead.Hecouldn'ttalktoEvananymore.Theoldermanwasrunning
scared,evenifhewouldn'tadmitit.Ifhe
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wasn'tcareful,hewasgoingtomakeamessofnotonlyhislife,butAnna'saswell.
Inthedaysthatfollowed,Evannoticedadifferenceinhislife.Hewenttotown,andtherewasno
moreAnnapeeringoverhisshoulderinthehardwarestoreorpeekingoutofhermother'soffice
windowtogrinandwaveathim.Hewenttoalocalsocialgathering,andAnnahadn'tbeggedan
invitationsothatshecouldflirtwithhim.HetooktheprecautionoftakingNinawithhim,justincase,
butithadn'tbeennecessary.
Heshouldhavebeenjubilant,butsomehowitwoundedhimthatAnnadidn'twanthimanymore.All
hisargumentsagainsttherelationshipdidn'thelp.
Twoweeksaftertheparty,AnnawasshoppingatthelocalboutiquewhenNinadancedin,wafting
expensiveperfumeandlookingontopoftheworld.
"Well,hello!"shegreetedAnna,smiling."SoEvandidfinallybeatyouoff!Wedidn'tseeasignof
youattheAndersons'get-togethernightbeforelast!Hespentthefirstfewminutespeekingaround
cornersincaseyoushowedup.Youreallygavehimacomplex."
AnnafeltsickatthewayNinahadputit."Yes.Well,I'mdevotingmyselftoRandallthesedays."
"Thedoctorwiththewanderingeye,hmm?"Ninamused,fingeringoneofthemoreexpensive
dressesintheshop."Hewon'tbeeasytohold,I'mafraid.Idon'tsupposeyouknowhetookCindy
GraysontotheswimmingpartyattheFords'Monday?Orthatshedidn'tgethomeuntildaylight?"
Annaglaredattheolderwoman."Isallthismalicereallynecessary?You'vegotEvan.Whatmoredo
youwant?"
Nina'sdelicateeyebrowsleveredup."Ihaven't'got'Evanatall,"shesaid."Heonlyaskedmeoutto
keepyouawayfromhim.Hesaidhe'ddoanythingtoscrapeyouoff."Hereyesdarkenedasthey
studiedAnnahaughtily."Youshouldhaveknownthathistypeofmandoesn'tlikebeingchased.You
cutyourownthroat."
"Well,he'ssafenow,"Annasaid,almostchoking.
Ninashrugged."Idoubthe'llbelieveit.NotthatImind,"sheaddedcattily."Becausethelongerhe
feelsyou'reathreat,thelongerI'llhavewithhim.He'squitesomethinginbed,"shesaiddeliberately,
watchingAnnablush.
Annaleftthedressshewaslookingatandwentoutthedooroftheboutiqueasifherjeanswereon
fire.Ninawatchedherforaminuteandthenturnedbacktothedressracks.Thathadbeeneasy
enough.Shedidn'tlikethewayEvanwaspreoccupiedsinceAnna'sdefection.OnlyifAnnawaskept
awaywouldNinahaveaclearshotatEvan.Thefictionofsleepingwithhimseemedtodothetrick,
though.Shewasactuallyhummingbythetimeshelefttheshop.
FortherestoftheafternoonAnnabarelyknewwhatwasgoingonaroundher.Sheleftearlyandwent
totheTaylorGallery.
BrandTaylorwaselderly,withakeeneyeforart
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andathoroughknowledgeofthemarketforit.He'dknownAnnasinceshewasachild,andhe'd
followedherinterestinartwithpleasure.
"I'vebeenhopingyoumightapproachmeforajoboneday,"hetoldherhonestlywhensheasked
aboutit."I'mherealone,andit'sabitofagrindsometimes.Itwouldbenicetohaveanassistant.You
haveaneyefordetail,andIcanteachyouhowtoevaluatepaintings,howtopredictthemarket.Butit
willbehardwork.Nothinglikesittinginyourgardenandpainting."
Shesmiled."I'dliketotryit,nevertheless."
Henodded."Allright.Whencanyoustart?"
"Monday,"shesaid.Hermotherhadneverreallyneededher.Ajobhadbeencreatedforher,but
theybothknewshewasredundant.
"Won'tPollymind?"heasked.
Sheshookherhead."Onthecontrary,Iimagineshe'llbedelighted."
Pollywasdelightedandsurprised."Ididn'tthinkyou'dwanttoleavetheoffice,"sheadmitted.
"BecauseEvanspendsalotoftimethere,"Annamurmureddryly."That'stheveryreasonIwantto
leave.IfI'mgoingtoletgo,Ineedtodoitwholeheartedly.I'mveryfondofMr.Taylor,andIdolike
theideaofacareer."
"I'dhopedyoumightthinkofmarriageasone,"Pollysaidquietly."Godknows,I'dhavedonethat
ifyourfatherhadbeenabletosettledownwithme.Hewastoomuchawanderer,though.Hestillis."
"You'veneverreallydatedanyoneelse,"Annaventured.
"Neitherhashe,"Pollysaidwithasmile."Maybesomedayhe'llgetitoutofhissystemandcome
home.Ineverstophoping.Meanwhile,IhaveacareerIenjoyandI'mmakinggobsofmoney."
"That'swhatIwanttodo,"Annasaidseriously."Iwanttodosomethingusefulwithmylife.Marriage-
maybesomeday.Butnotyet"
"Goodgirl.You'reyoung.Youhaveplentyoftime."
"Plenty,"sheechoed.Hereyesweresad,butshewasn'tgoingtomoonaroundthehouse."How
aboutgoingouttoeattonight?"
"Delightful,"Pollyagreed."TheBeefPalace?"
Evan'sfavoritehangout.Annashookherhead."HowaboutthatnewChineserestaurant,fora
change?"
Pollysmiledherapproval."Nice.Verynice."
Astheywereleavingtherestaurantthatnight,talkinganimatedlyaboutAnna'supcomingnewjob,
EvanspottedthemashedrovepastwithNina.Odd,AnnaeatingChinesefood.Hewassureshedidn't
likeit.
"That'sPollyandAnna,isn'tit?"Ninamurmureddryly."IexpectedtohavetowardAnnaoffatthe
BeefPalacetonight.Theysaysheusuallytracksyouthere."
Evangloweredather."Itisn'tnecessarytoridiculeher,"hesaidquietly.
Shestaredathimblankly."Whynot?Everyone
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elsedoes.It'scommonknowledgethatshe'smadeanutterfoolofherselfoveryou.Sheknowsit,
too."
Hiseyesnarrowed."Youhaven'tsaidanythingtoher?"
Shecrossedherelegantlegs."Isimplytoldherthatyou'dhadenoughofher,"shereplied
carelessly."Sheknewthatalready."
Hewincedinwardly.HeknewNina,andhecouldn'timaginethatshe'dputitthatkindlytoAnna.
"ForGod'ssake,"hemuttered.
"Shewon'tfaremuchbetterwithherdoctorfriend,I'mafraid,"Ninaaddedwithfranknonchalance.
"He'sgotawanderingeye,andhe'llsleepwithanythinginskirts.Still,it'sherbusiness."
Evandidn'tsayanotherword.Hedidn'tevenwanttothinkaboutAnna.
Butthenextweek,whenhewenttotaketheprospectusbacktoPollyanddiscussthefamily'sdecision
withher,therewasnooneatAnna'sdesk.
Pollygreetedhim,gesturinghimintoachairassheclosedtheofficedoorandslippedintoher
ownchairbehindthedesk."Whatdidyoudecide?"sheaskedpleasantly.
Hescowled."Where'sAnna?Sheisn'tsickoranything?"
Pollystared.Heactuallysoundedasthoughhewasworried."Why,she'sgotanotherjob,Evan,"she
saidhaltingly."BrandTaylorhiredher."
"Attheartgallery?"Hesatbackinthechairwitharoughsigh."She'sgoingtotakethisthingtothe
limit,isn'tshe?"heaskedcurtly."ForGod'ssake,shedidn'thavetobanishherselfonmyaccount!"
Pollywiselydidn'tsayanything.Sheloweredhereyestotheprospectushe'dtossedonthedesk.He
didn'tknowthehalfofit.Annawasalsodiscussingmovingout.Alocalboardinghousehada
vacancyandshethoughtshemighttakeit,she'dtoldPollyovertheweekend.
"Thejobcameopenunexpectedly,"Pollymurmured.
"DidshementiontalkingtoNinalately?"hepersisted,leaningforward,hisdarkeyessteadyand
unblinkingonherface.
"No,"shereplied."Why?"
"ApparentlyNinasaidsomeharshthingstoheronmybehalf,"herepliedheavily."Ididn'tputherup
toit,butAnnawon'tknowthat."
"It'sjustaswell,Evan,"Pollysaidseriously."YouandIbothknowthatthere'snofutureinAnna
wearingoutherheartonyou.She'llgetoveryouandmarryRandall.Itwillbethebestthingall
around."
"Randallisaplayboy,"hesaidshortly.
"IfAnnaloveshim,itwon'tmatter,"shesaid,refusingtoadmitthatitmight."Ifhelovesher,he'llstop
chasingotherwomen."
"Menlikethatdon'tstop,ever,"hesaidwithnarroweyes."Andyouknowit."
Shesmiledsadly."Randallwouldn'tbemyfirstchoice,either,Evan,butit'sAnna'slife.Ihaveno
righttointerfere."
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Heleanedbackagainandscowled,hisexpressionpreoccupied.
"Whatdidyoudecideabouttheprospectus?"sheaskedagain,hopingtochangethesubject.
"We'regoingtoinvest,"hesaidabsently.HenamedafigureandabandonedhisfearsaboutAnna's
futuretemporarilytofinishdiscussingbusiness.
Butwhatshe'ddonebotheredhim.WhenheleftPolly'soffice,hefoundhimselfheadingstraight
forTaylor'sGallery.
BrandhadgonetoHoustonforashow,leavinganervousAnnaincharge.She'ddonewellsofar,
andshewasenjoyingherwork.Butitwasnerve-rackingtohavecompletechargeofthegalleryby
herself.
Shelookedlovely,Evanthought,watchingherthroughtheplate-glasswindowfrontbeforehe
enteredthestore.Shewaswearingabeigesilksuitwithadelicatelyembroideredwhiteblouse,and
herhairwasinaneatFrenchplaitbehindherhead.Sheworehighheelsthatemphasizedthegraceful
curveofheranklesandcalves,andthefitofhersuitmadeitapparentinthenicestofwaysthatshe
hadanexquisitefigure.
Heopenedthedoorandwalkedin,settingthebelltinkling.
Annaturned,asmileonherfacethatabruptlyvanishedwhenshesawhim.
Hefeltaterribleemptinessatherexpression.Alwaysbefore,hereyeshadbrightenedwithgladness
whenshelookedathim.Nowitwasmoredreadthandelightthatwasmirroredinherblueeyes.
"CanIhelpyou,Evan?"sheaskedwithformalcourtesy.
Hemovedintothegallery,glancingapprovinglyatthehugeNoSmokingsignonthewall.Hestuffed
hisbighandsintothepocketsofhisgrayslacksandstaredatherthroughnarroweddarkeyes.
"Wasitnecessarytoleaveyourmothershorthandedtoavoidme?"heaskedwithblatantsarcasm,
becausehernewattitudehurthim.
Sheliftedherdelicatelyroundedchintostareathim."SinceIdidn'tdomuchthereinthefirstplace
exceptwaitforyoutowalkin,I'dhardlycallher'leftshorthanded.'"
Hesmiledfaintly."Isthatwhyyou'rehere?Youdon'tthinkIhaveanyinterestinart?"
Shefinisheddustingtheframeshewasholdingandreturnedittoitspositionagainstthewall."Idon't
knowwhatyourinterestsareasidefrommakingmoney,Evan,"shereplied."Didyouwant
something?"
"IwantedtomakesureNinahadn'thurtyou."
Sheturned,hereyebrowsarching."Whatdifferencewouldthatmake?"sheasked.
Hedrewinaslowbreath."Ididn'tsendhertoyouwithanymessages,"hesaid.
"Itwouldhaveservedmerightifyouhad,Iguess,"sheconfessedquietly,droppinghergazetothe
floor."I'vegivenyouahardtime."
Thewayshespokemadehimuncomfortable.Hemovedcloser,sothathecouldlookdownonher
brighthead.Hishandscameoutofhispocketsand
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gentlyframedherfacetoliftittohis.God,shewaspretty,hethoughtreluctantly.Eyeslikea
Septembersky.Peachesandcreamcomplexion.Bowlips,verypinkandfullandmoist.Helplessly,
hiseyestracedthemwithsuchintensitythattheypartedabruptly.
"Anna,"hewhisperedgruffly.
Hereyeswidenedathistone.She'dneverheardhimspeakthatway.Hisgazewashotandglittery
onhermouth,andhisbig,warmhandshadcontractedaroundherface,tiltingituptohis.Withawe,
shewatchedhisheadbendandhismouthcomewithinawhisperofherlips.
"Comeclose,"hesaid,hisvoicedeepandrough.Hecouldhearherbreathingchange,andallhis
cautionvanishedinafiercerushofneed.Histhumbsforcedherchinupasyearsofhelplesslonging
knockedhimoffbalance."Damnit,comehere!"
Trembling,herlegsobeyedhimevenagainstherwill,sothatherslenderbodycouldfeelthe
strengthandheatofhim.Hissuitjacketwasopen.Hiscolognedriftedintohernostrilsevenasshe
felthischestquitesuddenlyagainstthethrustofherbreasts.Contactwithhimwasviolentlyarousing,
eventhroughallthelayersofcloth.
Herfingerspushednervouslyintothesoftfoldsofhiscottonshirtandtouchedhardmuscles.Her
eyessawnothingexceptthewide,hardcurveofhismouthasitpoisedjustoverhers,hiscoffee-
scentedbreathminglingwithherown.
"Doyouknowhowtokiss,Anna?"heasked,hisheadspinningwiththisnewexperienceofher,his
reasonabruptlygoneintheheatofhisneedforhermouth.
"Y-yes,"shebreathed.
"Showme."
Thewordswentintoherpartedlipsashismouthsuddenlycrusheddownoverhersandtook
possession.
Shetastedhiminthesuddensilenceofthegallery,herbodytensing,herbreathstillinginherthroat
asshefelthishardmouthonhersfortheveryfirsttimeandalmostfaintedfromtheshockof
pleasureitswarm,experttouchgaveher.Hewasbreathingroughly.Thesighofhisbreathbrushed
hercheek.Againstherbreasts,hisheartbeatwasirregularandveryhard.
Herfingerscurledintohischestasshemovedcloser.
"Anna,"hemoanedhungrily.
Hisarmsslidaroundherandbroughtherbreastscrushingagainsthim.Hewasverystrong,andthe
embracewasbruising.ButAnnahardlynoticedinthefeverhewaskindlingalongherveins.
Sheliftedcloser,herarmsslidingunderhis,underthejacket,tolieagainsthislongback.Hewas
warm,sowarm,andthefeelofhispowerfulbodywasnarcotic.Shefedonhismouth,moaningsoftly
asitshardcrushbecamemoreinsistent.Shepushedupward,openinghermouthforhim.Whenshe
felthistongueaccepttheblatantinvitation,arushofheatmadehershudderinhisarms.
Evancouldn'tthink,couldn'tbreathe.Thiswas
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Anna,hethoughtdazedly.Anna,whowastooyoungforhim.He'dpushedheraway,andnowhewas
encouragingherinthemostblatantway.Buthecouldn'tfighthisownhunger.Histonguethrust
fiercelyintohermouth,andwitheachintimatethrustheimaginedherbodyunderhisinbed,
acceptinghimwiththissameheadlongpassion,herfemininityyieldingitssecretstohimashe
initiatedherintolovemaking.
Withaharshgroan,heliftedheragainsthim,buildingthekissintoafrenzythathealmostcouldn't
stopintime.
Ageslaterheletherdownagain,andslowly,slowlyliftedhisheadtolookdownintowide,dazed
blueeyesbelowwhichherred,crushedmouthstilltrembledfromhishotpossession.
Shecouldbarelystand.Heheldherlightlyaroundthewaisttokeepherfromfalling,andallthe
timehisheartbeatsoundedlikeabassdraminhischest.
"Youkissedme,"shemanagedunsteadily.
"Youkissedmeback,"hereturned.Hisjawclenched.Helethiseyesrandownherbodytothe
openedjackettohersilksuit.Ruthlesslyhemovedonebighandforwardtopullitaside,revealingthe
thrustofherbreastandsomethingmore-thehard,tautnipplethatsignaledherarousal.
"Didyouneedtosee...thatIwantedyou?"sheaskedtearfully."Couldn'tyoutellwithoutlooking?"
"Yes,Icouldtell."Hecaughtherbythewaistandhishandscontractedwhilehefoughttogethim-
selfbackundercontrol."You'renineteen,"hebegan.
"Andyou'rethirty-four,"shesaid,swallowingasshemanagedtobreatheproperlyagain."You
don'tneedtoexplainanythingtome,Evan,Iknowhowyoufeel.Youwantme,butI'mnotinthe
running."
Hiseyesdarkened."Anna..."
"Nina'smoreyourstyle,"shesaidbitterly,pushingathischest."She'sexperiencedandsophisticated.
I'llbetsheknowsasmuchasyoudo!"
ShewasassumingthathewassleepingwithNina.Heletherkeepherillusions.Itwouldn'tdotostart
makingconfessionsnow.He'djustdoneenoughdamage.
"Haveyouhadamanyet?"heaskedhuskily.
Sheloweredhereyes,buthethrustahugefistunderherchinandmadeherlookathim."Isaid,"he
repeatedcurtly,"haveyouhadaman?"
Hiseyeswerealittlefrightening."Don'tyouknow?"sheaskedinawhisper.
Shewastrembling.Hisfistopenedandhedrewthebacksofhisfingersslowlydownherarched
throatandontohersoftbreast,lingeringwhileshetensedandstaredathim.
"Youhaven't,"hesaidwithcertainty.Hiseyesfelltohisknuckles.Heteasedaroundthehardnipple,
watchingherbodyshiverandthenslowly,helplessly,trytolifttowardhim.
"Ihateyou,"shewhimpered.
Hismoutheaseddowntobrashhersopen."Saymyname,"hebreathed.
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Thenearness,theteasing,wereimpossibletoresist,evenifshereallyhadhatedhim,andhishand
wasdrivinghercrazy."Evan,"shemoaned,lifting.
Hislipsopenedonhersevenashishandsuddenlyswallowedherbreast,roughlycaressingherina
silencethatmagnifiedherheartbeatandhisharshbreathing.
Hernailsbitintohisshoulders,andheshiveredwithpleasure.Hishandcontracted.Shemoanedinto
hismouth,andhewrappedonelong,powerfullegaroundherashemovedcloseenoughtolether
feeltheforceofhisdesire.
Shebithim,soarousedthatshehardlyrealizedwhatshewasdoinguntilshefelthimgroan.
Shocked,shedrewback,hereyeswideandstartled."I...Ididn'tmeantodothat,"shewhispered
brokenly.Shetriedtomoveaway,buthislegwaspreventingher.Shefelthisblatantarousaland
suckedherbreathinagain.
Hehadtofighttolethergo,tounwraphisbodyfromhers.Hisfacewashardandfaintlyflushed,but
hiseyeswereangry.
"What?"heaskedunsteadily.
"I...Ibityou."
"Andclawedme,"hemurmuredquietly.Hislipstwistedintoanoddsmile."You'dripmybackopen
inbedwiththosenails."
Shegasped,andhesuddenlyrealizednotonlywhathewassaying,buttowhomhewassayingit.
Heshookhishead,asiftoclearit,andhisbrowsjerkedtogether."Anna.ForGod'ssake...!"
"Yes,Anna,"shewhisperedbrokenly,backingawayfromhim.Shewasdisheveledandwide-eyed,
andshockedthatshecouldhaveallowedhimsuchlibertiesafterthewayhe'dtreatedher.Notonly
allowedthem,butencouragedandreturnedthem.Andintheshop,whereanyonecouldseethem!It
wasfortunatethattheshopfrontedasidestreetthatwasn'tmuchtraveledatthistimeofday.Itwas
evenmorefortunatethatahugepaintingofaTexaslandscapewaspositionedbetweenthemandthe
windowfront."IsNinastarvingyou,oristhissomekindofrevenge?"sheasked.
Hecouldhardlybreathe.She'dbeenwithhimalltheway,aspassionateandfieryashecouldhave
dreamedawomanwouldbe.Whateverhe'dkindledinherhadn'tbeenfear.Butshewasnineteen,and
itshouldneverhavehappened.
"Whatdoyouthink,honey?"heaskedwithfaintinsolence.
"Ithinkyoushouldgo,"shesaidquietly.
HepulledhisStetsondownoverhiseyes."SodoI.Goodluckwithyournewjob.I'llgiveNinayour
regards."
Shedidn'tanswer.Hewasoutofsightandgonebeforeshecouldstoptrembling.Ifhewantedherout
ofhislife,thiswashardlythewaytogoaboutit,shethoughtblankly.Shetouchedhermouthand
tastedhimthere,shiveringagainwiththeardorhe'daroused.Imaginebeingkissedlikethatinbroad
daylight,andbyEvan,whodidn'twanther.Sheremem-
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EVAN
beredthefeelofhisbigbodyagainstherandflushed.Well,somuchforthatmyth.
Shewenttothebackoftheshoplongenoughtofixhermakeupandbrushherhair,wonderingif
she'devergetoverwhathe'ddone.Tryingtogetoverhimhadbeendifficultwithoutknowinghowit
felttobeheldandkissedbyhim.Fromnowon,itwouldbeimpossible.Hisbodymightwanther,but
itwaspatentlyobviousthathisminddidn't.He'dprobablyjustcometosaygoodbye,shekepttelling
herself.Butwhy,shewonderedfordaysafterward,hadhekissedher?
ChapterFour
AllthewaybacktotheranchEvan'sheadwasspinning.He'dneverfeltanythinglikethatinhislife,
andithadtobewithAnna,ofallpeople!Hegroanedinwardlyatthefeverofpassionhe'dkindledin
hersoeffortlessly;athersweet,headlongresponse.Inbedshewouldsatisfyhimsofullythathe'd
neverbeabletotouchanotherwomanaslongashelived.Andthatknowledgedrovehimcrazy.
Hehadtorememberthereasonshecouldn't-didn'tdare-lethimselfbecomeinvolvedwithher.She
wasnineteenandavirgin.Heknewinstinctivelythatuntiltodayshe'dneverletamantouchherashe
had.Ifshewasreallyasbesottedwithhimaseveryonesaidshewas,she'dprobablybeensavingitall
upforhim,waitingforhimtokissher,totouchher.Hehitthesteeringwheelwithfierceangeratthe
trickfatehadplayedonhim.Itwasimpossible!He
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wasfifteenyearsherseniorandamantowhominnocencewasakindofnightmare.Hewantedher
untilsheobsessedhim,buthecouldn'thaveher.Hecouldneverhaveher.
Innocencefrightenedhim.Louisa'sfacehadhauntedhimforyears,whiteandrigidashe'dturned
towardheraftersheddinghisclothes.He'dthoughtshelovedhim,butshe'dfoughthimlikeatigress,
screaminginterrorthathewastoobig,toostrong,hewashurtingher...
Hewentintothehousewithhisfacelikeathundercloud,hiseyesblazingatthememory.Louisahad
beensmallandthin,afragilegirl-womanwhomHardenhadalwaysswornhadonlytoleratedhis
ardorbecausehewasrich.Hehadn'tbelievedit.Louisahadlovedhim,ashe'dlovedher.Her
rejectionhaddamagedhim.Althoughhestillhadtheinfrequentlover,nowhiswomenwere
sophisticatedandexperienced.He'dneverdatedaninnocentsinceLouisa.
HardenhadremindedhimthatAnnawasabiggirl,andhehadtoadmitthatshewascertainlyequalto
hisardor.Hehadn'thurthertoday,andforafewsecondshisstrengthhadbeenunleashedwhenhe'd
forcedherbodyintothecurveofhis.Hecouldn'tbelievehe'ddonethat,goneagainstallhis
resolutionsandevenbeenobliviousenoughtoshowhergraphicallyhowmuchhewantedher.He
laughedbitterly,rememberingtheshockedlookonherface,inhereyes,whenhe'dlethergo.She'd
probablyneverfeltaman'sarousedbodyinherlife.Well,nowsheknew,hethought.Hecouldn't
reallyimag-
ineherlukewarmRandalleverdoinganythingasboldasthat.HewonderedabsentlyifRandallwas
evenarousedbyAnna,becauseheseemedoddlypassivearoundher,hardlynoticingher.Annamust
surelyknowthatallRandallwasinterestedinwashermother'smoney,butitdidn'tseemtomatter,
becauseshekeptseeingtheman.
Itwasnoneofhisbusiness,heremindedhimself.FromnowonhehadtokeepoutofAnna'sway.
He'dmadeaterribleerrorinjudgmenttoday,lettingherseethathefoundherphysicallyattractive.
He'dhavetofindawaytomakeherbelieveitwasafluke,orhe'dhaveherchasinghimallover
again.Hecouldn'taffordthat.Thetemptationtolethercatchhimwasmuchtooalluring.
TherewasaconferenceinDenveronanewcrossbreedingprogram,andhepackedabagandlefthis
brothersDonaldandHardenincharge.Thechangeofscenerymightdohimgood.Hemighteven
meetsomeclassyladyinDenverwhocouldtakehismindoffAnna.
Hedidn'tknowit,butAnnahadalreadydecidedthathewasgettingevenwithherforignoringhim,
playingonherweaknessforhim.Sheflushed,rememberinghowquicklyhisbodyhadrespondedto
hers.Itshouldhaveshockedher,butsherememberedonlythedelightofknowingsheaffectedhim.
Couldhehavefakedthat?Sheknewmencouldgetarousedbythinkingaboutwomentheydesired.
WhatifheldhadthedelectableNinaonhismindandhadusedAnnatoassuagehishungerforher?
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Shewassoconfusedthatshedidn'tknowhowtoreact.Shedidn'tdeludeherselfforaminutewith
thoughtsthatheravoidanceofhimhadtriggeredthoseardentkisses.He'dbeenso...sohateful,
mockingherreactions!Almostasifhewaspunishinghimselfandherforhisunexpectedbehavior.If
onlysheknewwhathadmotivatedhim.Ifonlyithadbeenbecausehemissedher,becausehecared.
Shecouldhavecriedatherownstupidity.Hehadn'teventreatedherasifherespectedher.Touching
herthatway,holdinghercloseenoughtobeshockedbythevividresponseofhisbody.Surelyaman
whocaredaboutawomanwouldn'ttreatherlike...that!
"You'reveryquietlately,"Pollyremarkedseveraleveningslaterwhentheyweresharingaquiet
supper."Wanttotalkaboutit?"
"There'snothing,really,"Annasaid,forcingasmile."I'vebeenworkingveryhard.Mr.Taylorsaid
thatifI'dliketodoacoupleoflandscapes,he'llevenputthemintheshop.HethinksIhaveatalent
worthdeveloping."
"I'vealwaysthoughtthatmyself,"Pollysaidencouragingly.Shegrimaced."AlthoughRandall
didn'tseemtooenthusiasticaboutyoursunflowers.Hebarelyevenlookedatthem,andafterallthe
troubleIwentto,havingthemproperlymattedandframed."
"Randallisn'tanartlover,"Annasaid,defendinghimwanly."Heisn'tmusical,either."
"Andyoudoloveyourclassics,don'tyou,darling?"Pollysighed,frowning."Anna,Idon'tlike
tointerfere,butyou'reseeingalotofRandalllately.Twodatesthisweek.Itisn'tbecauseofEvan,is
it?"
Annastarted,herfacecoloring."Whatdoyoumean?"
Polly'seyesnarrowedshrewdlyonherdaughter'sface."Evanmusthavehurtyouverybadlyatthat
party.Butdon'tlethurtpridesendyourunningtothefirstmanwhoshowsaninterest,willyou?
Randall'safineman,buthehasaneyetothemainchanceandhe'ssomethingofaplayboy."
"Hemightbe,buthe'snotinEvan'sleague,"Annasaidbitterly.
"Evanatleaststickstowomenwhoknowthescore,"camethedryreply."Hedoesn'tinvolvehimself
withinnocents."
Annakepthereyesdown.Itwouldn'tdototellhermotherjusthowinvolvedhe'dbeenwithherthat
dayintheartgallery."Evanispasthistory.I'mnotrunningafterhimindoggedpursuitanymore,and
heseemstofindthatarelief.Ihaven'tseenhimin...ages."
"He'sbeeninDenver,"Pollymentionedcarelessly."Someconferenceorother.Donaldwassupposed
togo,Hardentoldme,butEvanpackedabaglastThursdayandtookoffbeforehecouldargue.A
verysuddentrip."
Annahadtofightnottogiveherselfaway.LastThursdayhadbeenthedayhe'dkissedherso
hungrily.Hadhebeenobligedtorunforfearthatshemightcomehurryingafterhimformore?She
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flushed.Well,heneedn'tworry,shewasn'tabouttohasslehim.
"Areyoulistening,darling?"Pollyasked.
Annaliftedasereneface,smiling."Ofcourse."
"Youworrymelately.Youreallydo."
"Noneed.I'mjustenjoyingmynewjob,andgrowingup."
"You'vedonethat,withavengeance,"Pollyhadtoadmit,noticingtheeleganthairdo,thesleeksilk
pantsuitofabluethatmatchedAnna'seyes."You'vechangedbeforemyveryeyes."
"I'malmosttwenty,"sheremindedPolly.
"Yes.Youmakemefeelold.Isentyourfatheraphotoofyoujustlastmonth,toshowhimhow
elegantyoulook."Thesmilefadedandshetouchedherwaterglassabsently."He'sbasedinAtlanta
now.HesaidtheymightmovehimbacktoHouston.Iftheydo,he'llcomeandseeyou."
"Hedoesn'tdate,"Annamused."Youdon't,either.Butneitheroneofyouwillgiveaninch.Don't
youmisshim?"
"Morethanyouknow."Pollygotup,allbusiness."Butlifegoeson,mydarling.Ihavetogoover
somefiguresinthestudy."
Annawatchedhergowithsadeyes.Pollyhadnevergottenoverherhusbandandneverwould.There
wasthehopethattheymightsomedayreconcile,butAnnaknewitwasalongshot.Meanwhile,she
felthermother'spainkeenly.
Sheleftthegalleryafterworkthenextdayfeelingoddlyrestless.Randallwassupposedtotakeher
out
thatevening,buthe'dcalledtocanceltheirdatewithsomevaguementionofnightduty.Itdidn't
matter;shewasn'tinlovewithhim,butlatelyheseemedtomakeahabitofcancelingdatesatthelast
minute,andshewonderedifhewasreallyworkingthatmuch.
Hercarwouldn'tstart,forthefirsttimeinmemory.Shegotoutandglaredatit,angrilykickingatire.
Itwascloudyanddrizzlingrain,andnowshe'dhavetowalkallthewaybacktothegallerytousethe
phone.
Theroarofatruckcaughtherattention,andsheturnedjustintimetoseeEvanpullupbesideherin
oneoftheranchpickupswiththeTremaynecompany'semblemonthesideinboldredlettering.
"Gotproblems?"heaskedtersely,slamminghisblackStetsonoveroneeyeashejoinedher.He
wasinworkinggear,chambrayshirt,tightjeans,blackbootsandleatherbatwingchaps.Hisspurs
madeafaintjinglingsoundashepausedbesideher.
"No,"shelied,avoidinghiseyes."Ijustforgotsomethingintheoffice."
Hisdarkeyesnarrowed.Heknewshewaslying,hecouldseeitinthewayshehesitated.Incredible
thatshewasactuallytryingtoavoidhim.
"Yourcarwon'tstart,"hesaidflatly."Nouselyingaboutit.Iwaspassingwhenyougotoutand
kickedit."
Herfaceflamed.Shewouldn'tmeethiseyes."I'mgoingtocallthegarage.They'llgetitstarted."
"I'llrunyouoverthere.Getin."
"Idon'twant-!"
Hecaughtherarmroughlyanddrewheragainsthim,soclosethatshecouldfeelthepowerful
threatofhisbodyashelookeddownintohershockedeyes.
"Youwantme,"hesaidharshly."Iknowitandsodoyou.Avoidingmedoesn'tchangethat.Ican
feelittheminuteItouchyou."
Herlowerliptrembled"Can'tyoujustleavemealone?"sheaskedbrokenly."Iknowyoudon'twant
me!Doyouhavetomakeapointofiteverytimeyouseeme?"
Herpainmadehimfeelguilty.Hedidn'tunderstandhisownactions.Thelastthinghewantedtodo
wastohurtorhumiliateher.ButDenverhadn'tridhimofhisneedforher.Hehadn'tbeenableto
touchthewomanwho'dclungtohimthere.He'dintendedto.He'dtakenherbacktohisroom,fedher
drinks,flatteredher.Butwhenhe'dpulledherintohisarmsandstartedkissingher,nothinghappened.
Hisbody,forthefirsttime,hadfailedhim.He'dsentthewomanawayandcursedAnnauntilhisvoice
hadgonehoarse.Allhecouldthinkaboutwasthetasteofhermouth.Ithadenragedhimsomuchthat
hecouldhardlyfunctionfortherestoftheconference,andhe'dcomehomestillfuming.His
unfortunatepassionforAnnawascrampinghisstyleinanunbelievableway.
Hisdarkeyesfelltohermouthandlingeredthere,hisfingersgrippingherarmsotightlythatthey
leftbruises."You'dgivemeanythingIwanted,"hesaid
huskily."DoyouthinkIdon'tknowhowvulnerable
youare?"
Sheshivered.Thiswasn'ttheEvansheknew.Thismanwasastranger,sensual,domineering,
frightening."Thisisn'tfair,Evan,"shechoked.
"Iswhatyoudotomefair?"heaskedcoldly.
"I...haven'tdoneanythingtoyou,exceptavoidyou,"shesaidmiserably."Ithoughtthatwaswhatyou
wanted."
Hisotherhandmovedtoherwaistanddrewherslowlyagainstthepowerfullengthofhim,against
leanmusclethatrippledwhereshetouchedit.Shegaspedasherhandcaughtathisshirt,hereyes
goinginvoluntarilytothethickpeltofhairthatshowedintheopeningatthecollar.
"ThisiswhatIwant,"hesaid,hisvoicedeepandquiet,ashishandslidtothebaseofherspineand
movedherhipsgentlyagainsthis.Hecaughthisbreathaudiblyasthefeelofherkindledthekindof
arousalhehadn'tfeltsincehissixteenthbirthday.Helaughedbitterlyattheironyofit,becausehe
couldn'tseemtofeelthatwithanotherwoman,havinghadatasteofAnna.
"Itisn'tfunny,"shemoaned,pushingathischestwithherfacegonescarlet."Evan,stop!"
Hishandwithdrew,buthestillhadherbythearm."Funny,isn'tit?"heasked,hiseyesglittering."The
jokeofthecentury,thatavirginshouldhavethateffectonmewhenanexperiencedwomancan't
even..."Hebitoffthewords,suddenlypushingAnnaaway.Hewasbreathingroughly,andhis
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arousalwassoobviousthatAnnaavertedhereyesinsomethinglikepanic.Hesawher
embarrassment,anditangeredhim.
"Ihavetogo,"shesaidunsteadily.
"Stillseeingthebelovedphysician?"heasked.
Shewouldn'tlookathim."IfyoumeanRandall,yes."
"Whydon'tyoumarryhim?Itwouldgetyououtofmyhair,atleast."
Tearsstunghereyes."I'vebeenoutofyourhairforweeks,haven'tyounoticed?"sheasked,
glaringupathim.Hiseyeswereshadowed,butshethoughtshesawtheflickerofhiseyelashes."I
haven'tcomenearyou!It'syouwhoareharassingme!"
"Turnabout,"hesaidsoftly,hiseyesglittery."Howdoyoulikeit?"
"Ihateit!"sheraged.
"SodidI,baby,"herepliedcoldly."Everyminute,everydaythatyouhoundedme.ThankGodfor
Nina,shemusthavefinallyconvincedyouthatitwasnevergoingtowork.Evenamanwhocares
aboutawomancan'tstomachthatkindofharrassment."
Hereyesclosed,containingthetears."You'vemadeyourpoint,"shesaidinahauntedtone."MayIgo,
now?"
Hefeltsickalloverwhenhelookedatherface.Heshouldn'tbethiscrueltoher.Itwasn'therfault
thathewantedhertotheexclusionofotherwomen.Shewasjustachild,despiteherlovelycurves,
justalittlegirl.Andhewassavagingher.Hecametohissensesinapainfuljerk.
"Anna..."
Hereyesopened,blueasthesky,wetwithtearsandpain."I'msorry!"
Histeethgroundtogetherinagrimaceofanguish.Hemovedtowardher,butsheturnedandstartedto
runacrossthestreet,backtowardthegallery.
Evanwatchedheruntilshewasoutofsight,hisfacedrawnwithguiltandremorse.Hefeltasifhe'd
justtornthewingsfromabutterfly.
Annawaspaleandunnaturallyquietwhenshegothome,havingfoundamechanictofixhercar.But
Pollywasout,toAnna'srelief,andAnnamanagedtogettobedwithoutbeingseen.Nowthatshe
knewwhatEvanreallythoughtofher,shedidn'tknowhowshewasgoingtostayalive.Heseemedto
actuallyhateher.
Thenextfewweeksdraggedby,withEvantauntingherateverycorner.HebroughtNinaintobuy
paintingsatthegallery,makinghisattentivenesstohersoevidentthatAnnawantedtoscream.Hewas
seenaroundtownwithher,andseemedtogooutofhiswaytomakesurethatAnnasawthem.As
revengewent,itwaspuremastery.Annafeltasifshe'dbeencuttopieces,evenifshedidmanageto
salvagealittlepridebysteppingupherdateswithRandall.
AmonthafterEvanhadmadehislastcrueltaunt,shewenttoaconcertwithRandallandfoundEvan
andNinasittingonlythreeseatsawayfromthem.Ithurttoseethetwoofthemtogether,withEvanso
lovingandattentivetoNinathattheotherwomanseemedactuallytopurrwhenhetouchedher.
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Duringtheintermission,RandallwenttogetpunchforhimselfandAnna,andNinawenttothe
powderroom.Itwasalmostfate,Annathoughtmiserably,thatthrewherdirectlyinEvan'spathwhile
theirrespectivedatesweremissing.
"Enjoyingyourself,honey?"Evanaskedherwithasmilethatdidn'tbegintoreachhiseyes."Oris
thebelovedphysicianjustapoorsubstituteforme?"
Sheshivered,glaringathim."Randallisgoodcompany."
"Ishe?"hemused."Heseemstopaymoreattentiontothemusicthanhedoestoyou.Oristhatwhat
youlike?"
"Itbeatshavinghimalloverme,"sheblurtedout,andthenblushedfuriouslyatEvan'ssoft,
mockinglaughter.
"Ninalikesbeingtouched,"hesaid,hiseyesholdinghers."SheopenshermouthwhenIkissher,
andmeltsundermybody...."
"Damnyou,"Annachoked,tearsburninghereyes."I'veneverhatedanyoneinmylifeasmuchasI
hateyou!"
Itwouldhavehurtlessifshe'dslappedhim.Hisfacehardened."Itbeatshavingyourunafterme
beggingtobemadeloveto,"hereturnedhotly.
Shewhirled,shakingallover,andmadeherwaytoRandall.Sheheldontohissleeveasifshewas
afraidshe'ddrownifsheturneditloose.Behindheratallmanwithdarkeyesflinchedathisown
mercilessbehavior,wonderinghowhecouldhaveallowedittogothisfar.HishungerforAnnagrew
daily,untilitwasanachethatalmostbroughthimtohisknees.He'dbeenfightingalosingbattlefor
weeks,andtonight,helostit.Beingcrueltoherwastheonlyprotectionhehadleft,butthatwasno
longerbearable.Hesighedwearily,hiseyeslovinglytracingthelonglinesofherbody,adoringher
silently.Shewassolovely.Allhissweetestdreamsrolledtogether.
Itwasnogood,headmittedfinally.Hewasonlyfoolinghimselfthathecouldfightherholdonhim.
Hesmiledruefully.Tomorrow,he'dgobythegalleryandtakehertolunchandadmitdefeat.He
hopedshewouldn'tbetoounforgiving.HeturnedbacktofindNinaapproachinghim,hismouthset
inahard,uncompromisingline.
Annawassilentfortherestoftheconcert.Shedidn'tlooktowardEvanagain,refusingtoglanceat
himeventhoughheseemedtospendthebetterpartoftheeveningtryingtoforcehertolookhisway.
SheclungtoRandallandrushedhimoutsidewhentheconcertended,desperatenottohavetosee
EvanandNinatogetheragain.
SheandRandallwalkedhome,becausetheciviccenterwasjusttwoblocksawayfromAnna'shouse.
"I'llgointoprivatepracticenextyear,"Randallwastellingher,hiseyesdreamy."Iwanttosetupin
Houston.There'sanolder,establisheddoctorinoneoftheritzierpartsoftown.I'vealreadyinquired
aboutbuyingintohispractice."Heglanceddownather."Ifwegotmarried,sayaroundDecember,we
couldmoveinbylateJanuary."
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Shestoppedwalkingandlookedupathim."Youmean,youcouldbuyintothepracticeifmy
mothergaveusasubstantialcashweddingpresent,"shesaidmatter-of-factly.Whathewashintingat
wassuddenlywelcome.ShewantedsodesperatelytogetoutofEvan'sreachforever,toavoidany
moreheartbreakingtormentfromhim.
Hewastakenabackatthecalmwayshesaidit."Anna..."
"Iknowyou'renotdyingofloveforme,Randall,"shesaidquietly."Iknowthattherehavebeen
otherwomen.Itdoesn'tmatter.Imightaswellmarryyouasanybodyelse.Whynot?"
Hefeltguiltyforthefirsttimeashesawthedeadlookinhereyes.Hedidn'tloveher,buthewas
fondofher.Hefrowned."Youmakeitsoundlikeabusinessproposition."
"Itis.Mymotherwouldstakeus.You'reambitious,soyou'llworkhardandmakeanamefor
yourself.Icanentertain.I'llfindthingstokeepmebusy.MaybeI'llpaint."Sheputawayherdreamsof
Evanandahousefulofchildrenforthelasttime.Shehadtobepractical.
"You'llmarryme?"heasked.
Shenodded.
Hesighed,anddrewherintohisarms,holdingherlightly."Youdeservesomethingbetterthanthis,"
hesaidunexpectedly.
Shelaidhercheekagainsthischestandsmiled."Sometimes,Randall,you'reaveryniceman."
"Notoften.I'malltooawareofmylimitations.I
likewomen,andforsomereasontheylikeme,evenifI'mnothandsome."Hesmoothedherlong
hair."Ilikebeingwithyou,becauseIcanbemyself.I'lltakecareofyou,Anna.I'lltrytobediscreet..."
"Itwon'tmatter."Anditwouldn't.Hecouldn'ttouchherheart,soshewassafe."We'lltellMamawhen
wegethome."
Henodded.Hetookherhandandsmileddownatherastheywalkedbacktowardthehouse.Anna
smiledback,butnothinghelpedtheacheinsideher.
"You'regettingmarried?"Pollystammeredwhentheytoldherthenews,automaticallyregistering
thatneitherofthemseemedparticularlyecstaticoroverjoyedattheprospect.
"That'sright,"Randallsaidpleasantly."Ihopeyou'llwishuswell,Mrs.Cochran.I'lltakecareof
Anna."
ItwouldhavemadePollyalittlehappierifhe'dsaidhelovedAnna.Sheglancedatherdaughterand
wantedtoweepatthecomposedfeatures,thedulleyes.AnnawasonlydoingthisbecauseofEvan;
sheknewit.Butherdaughterwasoldenoughtomakeherowndecisions,howeverwrongtheymight
be.
"OfcourseI'llcongratulateyou,"Pollysaid,forcingasmile."Ihopeyou'llbeveryhappy.Nowwhen
areyouplanningtobemarried?"
"AtChristmas,"Annasaidquietly.
Randallnodded."Icantakeacoupleofdaysoffandwe'llhaveabriefhoneymoon."
"RandallwantstobuyintoapracticeinHouston,"Annaadded,thinkingthatHoustonwouldbe
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agoodplacetolive,becauseshewouldn'teverhavetoseeEvanagain.
"I'llhelpwiththat,ofcourse,"Pollysaidbrusquely,andwatchedreliefshadowRandall'seyes.
Damnhim!Shedidn'twanttobuyherdaughterahusband,butwhatcouldshesay?Annawasliving
onhernervesalready.Evanwasobviouslynotinterestedinher,either.Hewasbeingseeneverywhere
withNina,flauntinghisrelationship.He'devenbroughtthewomantoPolly'sofficewithhim,making
hisinterestinhersoevidentthathalfthestaffmusthavementionedittoAnna.Shewonderedifthat
hadbeenhisintention.HeseemedtogooutofhiswaylatelytotauntAnna,rightdowntoparading
Ninapasttheartgalleryatluncheveryday.
PollyhadneverthoughtofEvanasaparticularlycruelman,butAnnaseemedtotriggeritinhim.
Odd,whenAnnawasthetypeofwomanwhoparticularlyneededkindness.Shecertainlywouldn'tfind
anyinEvan.Pollypursedherlips.Thisengagementmightnotbeabadidea,afterall.Onceheknew
Annawasmarrying,hemightrelentandstophurtingher.
"We'llhavetogoshoppingforanengagementringtomorrow,"RandalltoldAnna,smiling."What
wouldyoulike?"
Shesmiledback.Hewasagoodfriend,evenifshecouldn'tworkupagrandpassionforhim."I'dlike
anemeraldsolitaire,"shesaid.
Randall'seyebrowsarched."Emerald?"
"Idon'tliketraditionalstones,"shesaidgently."Andasmallemeraldanddiamondweddingband.
Later,whenyou'rewildlysuccessful,youcanbuymesomethingbigandflashy,okay?"
Hegrimaced.Shemadehimfeelmeanandguilty."Anna,I'dbuyyouatrunkfulofdiamondsifIhad
themoney,"hesaid,andsuddenlymeantit."Godknows,you'reworththem."
Pollyraisedhereyebrowsandsmiled.Thatsoundedmorepromising.Randallmightturnouttobea
worthyson-in-lawafterall.IfonlyAnnalovedhim.
"Wecouldgofromthegallerytopickitup,"Annasuggested,"aboutnoon."
Noon.ThatwaswhenEvanusuallyescortedNinapastherwindow.Pollyturned,smotheringagrin.
GoodforAnna.Itwouldn'thurttoletEvanknowthatshewasn'tpiningawayforloveofhim
anymore."It'sadate,"Randallsaid,smiling."Now,you'dbetterwalkmetothedoor.I'vegotexams
therestoftheweek,soexceptforgettingthering,wewon'tseetoomuchofeachother."
"That'sokay,"Annasaiddemurely."We'llmakeupforitwhenwe'retogether.There'sanewexhibitat
thezoo,tropicalamphibians."
"Fantastic!"Randallenjoyedthestudyofherpe-tologyasahobby,andAnnasharedhisfascination
withexoticfrogsandlizards.Ithadbeensurprising,andpleasing,tofindthattheyhadafewthingsin
common.Hehatedartandmusic,althoughhehumoredAnnabyattendingconcerts.Buthereally
enjoyedgoingtothezoo,andsodidshe.Itwassomethingtobuildon,atleast.
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EVAN
Annawasthinkingthesamething.Shewouldn'thaveanecstaticmarriage,butshe'dsettlefora
littleharmony.Godknew,shecouldneverhavehadthatwithEvan.Forakind,pleasantman,he
seemedtogrowfangswhenhecamewithinafewfeetofher.Sheaffectedhiminaverynegativeway,
soitwasprobablyjustaswellthatshewasmarryingRandall.Butinsideher,dreamsdied.
ChapterFive
Annathoughtshe'dnevergetthroughthenextmorning.OnlythethoughtthatRandallwascomingfor
hermadeitbearable.IfshehadtowatchEvanwithNina,itwouldbeforthelasttime.Presumably
whenheheardaboutherengagement,he'drealizethatshe'dgivenuponhimandmaybethenhe'd
leaveheraloneandstoptauntingherwithwhatshecouldn'thave.Thehumiliationofknowingthat
Evanwastotallyawareofherhelplesspassionforhimwasunbearable.HavinghimflauntNinaather
wasworse.
Sureenough,attenminutesbeforenoon,Evancamepastthewindowashedidnoweveryday.But
hewasalonethistime.Ninawasn'twithhim.
Annaclenchedherhandstogetherinfrontofher,gratefulthatMr.Taylorwasinthegallery,going
overtheirframeinventory,whenEvanwalkedinthedoor.Atleastshewasn'tonherown.
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"Well,hello,Evan,"BrandTaylorsaidwithasmile."Nicetoseeyou.Anythinginparticularyou're
lookingfor?"
Evanwastakenaback.Hehadn'tplannedonTaylorbeingin.Mostdays,whenhewentpastthegallery
Annawasalone.Today,ofalldays,shewasn't.
"No,I'm...browsing,thanks,"Evansaid.
"Goahead,then.Annacanhelpyouwithprices,ifyouseesomethingyoulike."
Annawasn'tlookingathim,though.Hereyeswerealmostfrantic,rivetedtothefrontdoor.His
facehardened.Wasshehopingtoberescued?Rememberinghisrecenttreatmentofher,herealized
thathecouldn'tblameher.He'dtriedsohardtoresisthishungerforher,buthecouldn'tquitelive
withouther.He'dcopesomehowwithhisfears,he'dhaveto.Butherfacewasn'tencouraging,andhe
hadaflashofpanicasherealizedthathemightalreadybetoolate.Shelooked...
Hehesitated,hisdarkeyessweepingoverher.She'dlostweight.Thebeigesuitsheworedidn'tfitas
closelyasithad,andtherewerenewlinesinthatprettyface,newhollowsunderherhighcheekbones.
Shelookedelegantandbrittle.
Hemovedtowardher,hatingthewayshejerkedaroundandtookastepbackwardwhenshesawhim
coming.Hadhehurthersobadly?
HereyesglancedoffhisgraysuitandpearlyStetson.Hewasdressedfortravel,sheimagined,not
knowingthathe'dwornhisbestclothesjusttoseeher.
"Wastheresomethingyouwantedtoknow?"sheaskedinaforciblysteadytone,andmadeherself
lookathim.
Hereyesweredeepblueandfullofpain.Ithurthimtoseeitandknowthatitwasbecauseofhim.
"Yes,"hesaid,hisvoicealmosthesitant.Hiseyesfelltohersoftmouthandbackuptoholdhergaze.
"Anna,I..."
Thebellonthefrontdoordrewtheirattention.Randallcamein,smilingatMr.Taylorbeforehe
walkedtoAnna'sside.HeknewhowshefeltaboutEvanTremayne,andprotectiveinstinctshedidn't
evenknowhehadwelledupinsidehim.Heslidanarmaroundherwaistandkissedherforeheadwith
deliberatepossession,notmissingtheflashofEvan'sstormyeyesorthesurpriseonhisdarkface.
"Hello,darling,"hetoldAnnagently."Readytogo?"
"Yes,"Annachoked."I'lljustgetmypurse."
"We'repickingouttheringstoday,"RandalltoldEvanlevelly."AnnaandIaregettingmarriedat
Christmas."
Gettingmarried.Gettingmarried.Gettingmarried.Evanheardthewordsechoinhisminduntilhe
thoughthe'dgonemad.Annawasgoingtomarry,Randall.Theyweregoingtopickoutrings.He'd
comeheretodaytoapologizetoher,onhiskneesifnecessary,toaskheroutonwhatwouldhave
beentheirfirstrealdate.Hewasgoingtotrytobuildarelationshipwithher.ButRandallhadbeathim
toit.He'dhurther,tormentedherintoacceptingRandall's
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proposal.Fortherestofhislife,he'dhavetolivewiththat.Shedidn'tloveRandallorwanthim,but
shewasgoingtomarryhim.
"Youmightcongratulateus,"Randallprompted."I'mgoingtomakeherhappy.IswearIam."
Howcanyou,Evanwaswonderingbitterly,whenshelovesme?Buthedidn'tsayit.Herammedhis
handsintohispockets,drawingthefinefabricofhisslackstaut,overpowerfullymuscledlegs,and
hiseyessmolderedastheywenttoAnna'spaleface.
"I'mreadywhenyouare,Randall,"Annatoldhimquietly,andEvanhadtolookhardevento
recognizethatshewasthesamewomanhe'dknownonlyweeksago.Thebrightspark,theimpish
naturemightneverhavebeen.Annahadmaturedtomiddle-ageovernight,gonecalmandquietand
elegant.Atthatmomenthe'dhavegivenanythingtoseeherthewayshewas.
"I'mcoming.Seeyouaround,Evan,"hetoldtheolderman,smilingashewenttotakeAnna'sarm.
Evanwatchedthemgowithdeadeyes.ShewasgoingtomarryRandall.Andwhenshelookedup
andmethisgaze,heknewwhy.Shewasdoingittoshowhimthatshewasn'tchasinghimanymore,
thathewasfreeofher,becausethatwaswhatshethoughthewanted.Heavenknew,he'dgivenher
morethanenoughreasontothinkso.
"Oh,God,no!"hegroundoutinatorturedwhisperandstartedtowardthem.Hehadtostopher.
ButashenoddedtoTaylorandlefttheshop,Ninadroveuptothecurbandcalledtohim.
"Thereyouare!"shewavedgaily."Imissedyouattheoffice,soIthoughtI'dmeetyouhere!"
Annaheardher,butshedidn'tlookback.WhatagoodthingRandallhadcomeforher.She'dthought,
hoped,thatEvanmighthavecomejusttoseeher,buthe'dbeenmeetingNinathere,flauntingher
again.Nowonderhe'dbeeninsucharushtogetoutofthegallery,andshe'ddaredtodreamhewas
comingafterher!Well,somuchfordeadhopes.
SheslidherhandintoRandall'sandwalkedalongbesidehim,half-numb,listeningwhilehetoldher
whathe'dplannedfortheweekend.Hemightaswellhavebeengivingheraweatherreport,forallthe
interestsheshowed.
Thatafternoon,afterwork,shewenthomealone.Onanimpulse,shestoppedbytheciviccenterto
seewhatconcertswereplannedfortheweekend.Randall'semeraldsolitairewinkedinthesoftlight,
gracingherlong,slenderhand.Thesymbolofhisintentiontomarryher,anditdidn'teventouchher
heart.ShewassavingEvanfromherself,shethoughtbitterly,thatwasall.Shedidn'tdarethinkabout
whatmarriagetoRandallwouldbelike,orshe'dgomad.
Tearsstunghereyesandbegantorolldownhercheekswhileshestoodthere.Andshesuddenly
realized,horrified,thatMirandaTremaynewasstandingbesideher.
"Oh,Anna,"theolderwomansaid,grimacing.SheputherarmsaroundAnnawithouteventhinking,
comfortingher.
ItwassounexpectedthatAnnawastotallywithout
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adefense.Shecrieduntilherthroathurt,gratefulthatpedestriantrafficwasalmostnonexistentforthe
moment.Shepulledawayfinally,andMirandaproducedatissueoutofthepocketofhermaternity
dress.
"Feelbetter?"sheaskedgently."It'sEvan,isn'tit?"sheaddedwithresignation,noddingatAnna's
surprisedlook."Yes,Iknow.Weallknowwhathe'sbeendoing,throwingNinainyourface.Iusedto
thinkthatEvanwasabigteddybear,butHardenwasn'tkiddingwhenhetoldmeEvanhadfangs.I
neverdreamedhecouldbesocruel."
"Idrovehimtoit,"Annasniffed."It'smyownfault."
"Hecouldhavestoppeditanytimehewantedto,justbyhavingaquietwordwithyou,"Miranda
saidangrily."Thisisn'tlikehim.He'sbeenterribleathomeeversincehecamebackfromDenver."
"Hehatesme,"Annasaidunsteadily."I'mnotkidding.Imean,hereallyhatesme!Hemadefunof
thewayIfeltabouthimandlaughedatRandall...I'mmarryingRandall,"sheaddedweakly,showing
herring."Isn'titpretty?We'regoingtoliveinHouston."Sheburstintotearsagain."Oh,Iamsorry,"
sheapologized,redeyed."Ididn'trealizehowmuchhehatedme.Itmusthaveembarrassedhim
terriblywhenIranafterhim!"
MirandacouldhavebackedatruckoverEvanwithpuredelightatthemoment.ShepattedAnna's
shoulderawkwardly."Thatdoesn'tmeanhehasanyrighttohurtyoulikethis."
"Thisisjusttheaftershock,"Annasaidstub-
bornly,dabbingathereyes."OnceRandallandIaremarried,I'llbefine."
"NotifyouloveEvan,"Mirandasaidsadly.
Annagroundherteethtogether,butherlowerliptrembledominously."I'llstoplovinghim,"she
choked."I'llhaveto."
"Evankeepssecrets,"Mirandasaidslowly."Idon'tknowwhattheyareandHardenwon'ttellme.But
there'ssomereasonforthewayhetreatsyou."
"It'smyage,"Annareplied."HethinksI'machild."
"There'smoretoitthanthat,I'msureofit,"Mirandareplied."Anna,IwishtherewassomethingI
coulddo."
Annasmiledather."You'reverykind,"shesaid."Harden'ssolucky,tohavesomeonelikeyou.He
wasworsethanEvan,youknow.Mostwomenaroundherewerescaredtodeathofhim.Hecould
lookrightthroughyou."
"He'smellowed."Mirandagrinned,pattingherstomach."Notthathe'stame.NoneoftheTremayne
menare.Buthe'sallI'lleverwant."
"Ithinkthatwouldgodoubleforhim,"Annasaidsoftlyandsmiled."Ihavetogo.Youwon't...mention
thatIwasstandingoutherebawlingmyheadoff?"
"Iwon'ttellEvananything,Anna,"camethegentlereply."ButIdowishyou'dreconsiderwhatyou're
doing."
"I'mdoingtheonlythingIcan,shortofjoining
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theFrenchForeignLegion,"Annasighed."I'llbehappywithRandall."
Mirandawantedtoquestionthatcoolstatement,butshecouldn't.Annawasheadstrongandstubborn,
andsheseemedperfectlycapableofcuttingoffhernosetospiteherface.AsforEvan...
Shewenthomefuming.Hardenwassittinginthelivingroomwithhismother,Theodora,when
Mirandawalkedinandflungherpurseonachair.
"Areyouallright?"Hardenasked,immediatelyconcerned.
"Oh,youmeanthecheckup,"shesaid,preoccupied."Yes,I'mfine.ThedoctorsaysI'mprogressing
beautifully,"shesaidandbenttokisshimgently.Shesmileddownathim,herloveechoingback
fromhisglitteryblueeyes."Thebabyisjustfine."
"ThankGod,"hesighed."Thewayyoulookedwhenyoucameinspookedme."
"Iwanttokillyourbrother,"shetoldhim.
"Whichone?"hereturned.
Theodorachuckledassheworkedherembroiderythreadintoacomplicatedfloraldesign."Evan,"
sheguessed.
"Howdidyouknow?"hequeried.
"He'stheonlybachelorleft."
"Goodpoint,"Mirandaagreed,"andIhopehegetstostaythatwayforlife.Ifyoucouldhaveseen
Anna..."
"WhataboutAnna?"Hardenaskedsoftly.
"He'scuthertopieces.Shewasintears.And
that'snottheworstofit.She'sgoingtomarryRandall."
Harden'sfacewenttaut."Shedoesn'tlovehim."
"It'stoshowEvanthatshe'sthroughchasinghim,Iknowitis,"Mirandasaidmiserably."She's
running,andyouknowaswellasIdothathe'sgivenhereveryreasonintheworldtowanttoget
awayfromhim.She'sconvincedthathehatesher."
"Heactslikeitlately,"Hardenhadtoadmit.
Theodoralookedupfromherneedlework."Loveandhatearetwins,youknow.Youcan'thate
somebodyunlessyoucanlovethem."
"He'sneverbeeninlove,notreally,"Hardenreplied."Oh,hethoughthewas.Hehadabad
experience,andit'sblindedhimtoalotofthings.Anna'snothisproblem.It'sallinhismind."
"Whatareyoutalkingabout?"Mirandachided.
"Ican'ttellyouwithoutbreakingaconfidence,"hesaid.Hesmiledather."Nosecrets,Iknow,butthis
isEvan's,notmine.You'llhavetolethimdealwithit."
"He'swaitedtoolate,"Theodorasaidsadly."I'msorry.Anna'sveryyoung,butshe'ssweetand
generousandloving.Hecoulddosomuchworse."
"IhopeRandallwillbekindtoher."Mirandasighed."ButI'mnotsorryforEvan,"sheaddedangrily.
"Hedidn'tdeserveherinthefirstplace.IhopehemarriesthatNinaofhis,andIhopeshegiveshim
helltwiceaday!"
Theodoralaughedatherrage,butHardendidn't.HeknewwhatEvanwasafraidof,whyhewasrun-
^r
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ningfromAnna.Whatapitythathecouldn'tfacethethreatofhisownstrengthanddealwithit.Now
he'dlosttheonewomanintheworldwho'deverreallylovedhim.Hardenfeltsorryforhim.
Fordaysafterthat,Evankepttohimself,noteventalkingtothepeoplearoundhim.Hethrew
himselfintoranchworkwithazestthatsurprisedandexhaustedhisownmen,becausewhilehewas
punishinghimself,theyhadtosufferwithhim.Hepushedthemduringthelatesummerroundupof
bullsuntiloneofthemquit,whichwaswhatfinallybroughthimtohissenses.
"I'veneverseensomanycowboysinchurchonSunday,"Theodoramusedwhentheyhadsupper
thatnight."Theyallseemtosaythesamething-please,God,saveusfromEvan."
"Cutitout,"Evanmuttered.Hedidn'tsmile.Hehadn'tforalongtime.Thelightheartedman
Mirandarememberedfromherfirstdaysattheranchmightneverhavebeen.
"God,youremindmeofmyself,"Hardenremarkeddryly,glancingdownthetableathim."All
bristlesandthornslately."
Evandidn'tanswerhim.Hefinishedhiscoffeeandgotup."I'llseeyoulater."
"TakingNinaoutagain?"
"Whoelse?"Evanrepliedwithoutlookingathim.Hekeptwalking.
Mirandajustshookherhead.Hegotworsebytheday.EvanhadtakenNinatoaplayinHouston,but
he
wassurprisedandinfuriatedtofindRandallthere-withawomanwhowasdefinitelynotAnna.This
onewastallandbrunetteandwearingadressthatleftnothingatalltotheimagination.
Hecorneredthemanatintermission,hisdarkeyesthreatening.
"Ithoughtyouwereengaged,"hesaidcurtly.
"Iam,"Randallreplied."ThisismycousinNell."
Evanglancedatthewomanandlaughedshortly."Suresheis."
"Listen,"Randallsaidcurtly,"AnnaandIhaveanarrangementwhichisnoneofyourbusiness."
"Doessheknowyou'reoutwithCousinNell?"Evanpersisted.
"No,butshewill,becauseIneverhadanyintentionofcoveringitup,"Randallrepliedhonestly."At
leastAnnawillbebetteroffwithmethanshewouldwithyou,"headdedcoldly."I'llnevercutherup
thewayyoudid."
Evanexploded.Heactuallyreachedtowardtheotherman,butacrowdofreturningpatrons
interruptedthemovementandheregainedhiscontrol.Heturnedonhisheel,rejoiningNina.
"Whatwasthatallabout?"Ninademandedpetulantly."TryingtoliveAnna'slifeforheragain?"
Helookeddownatherwitheyesthatthreatened.Sheactuallybackedaway.
"Annaismybusiness,notyours,"hesaid,everywordmeasuredanddangerous.
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Ninaswallowed."Don'tyoumean,she'sRandall's?Afterall,it'shimshe'sengagedto."
Hetookherarmandescortedherbacktotheirseats.Hedidn'tsayanotherwordtoherthenorlater.
ThenextdayhestoppedbyPolly'sofficeonthepretenseofbusiness.Butoncethedoorwasclosed
andhewassittingcomfortablyinoneofherwingchairs,hetossedhishatasideandleanedforward
intently.
"RandallwasoutonthetowninHoustonlastnightwithsomebrunette,"hesaidshortly."He's
alreadytwo-timingAnna,andtheyaren'tevenmarriedyet."
Pollywasshocked,notonlybytheinformation,butbytheangerinEvan'svoiceashetoldherabout
it.
"Whatkindofmarriageisitgoingtobe,forGod'ssake?"hegroundout."Herpridewon'tstand
thatkindoftreatment!"
"Evan,Iappreciateyourconcern,"Pollysaidquietly."Butit'sAnna'slife."
"MyGod,she'sruiningit!"heexclaimed,throwinguphishands."Don'tyoucare?"
Polly'seyebrowslifted."Aren'tyouthemanwho'sbeendoinghisbesttochaseherintoRandall's
armsforthepastfewmonths?"
Hegrimaced."Ithoughtitwouldbethebestthingforher,"hesaidshortly."Randall'sgoingtomakea
gooddoctor,agoodprovider.Ifiguredoncetheygotengaged,he'datleastbediscreetabouthis
affairs."
"Heis,"Pollyreplied."HoustonisalongwayfromJacobsville."
"IfIsawhim,otherpeoplefromherecould."
Pollyleanedbackinherchair,studyinghisangryface."Evan,howdoyouknowthewomanhewas
withwasn'thiscousin?"
Heletoutaroughsighandrestedhisforeheadonhisbunchedhands."MyGod,Idon't.Butyouknow
whathe'slike."
"Yes.AndsodoesAnna.She'llbeamplyprovidedfor,andshe'llkeepbusyinHouston.That'swhere
they'regoingtolivewhenthey'remarried."
Itwaskillinghim.Killinghim!Hegottohisfeetwithaharshgroan,grabbinguphisStetson.
"Annathinksyouhateher,"shesaid,noticingthathedidn'tfaceher,thathisbackwasrigid."Dohera
favorandletherkeeponthinkingit."
HetwistedtheStetsoninhishands."Whyshouldn'tI?"heaskedhuskily."It'sthetruth."
"Isit,really,Evan?"sheaskedsoftly.
Hedidn'tanswerher.HeslammedtheStetsonoveroneeyeandwentout,withouteverlookingback.
Pollywatchedhimleaveandfeltatwingeofsorrowforallofthem.EvanlovedAnna.Ifshe'dever
wonderedabouthisfeelings,sheknewnow.Itwasaraging,helplesskindoflovethathewasfighting
witheverythinginhim,tearinghertopiecestokeepherfromseeinghowvulnerablehereallywas.
AndAnnalovedhim,deathlessly.Butneitherofthemwasgoingtogivein,leastofallEvan,whofor
reasons
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ofhisownwantednopartofloving.Pollycouldhavewept.Shewishedshecouldtellherdaughter,
butitwouldservenopurpose.Evanwasn'tgoingtogiveintoit,sheknewthatinstinctively,butif
Annawenttooclosetohim,he'dsavageher.Hemighthavealreadydonethat.Pollyknewhe'dbeen
tauntingher.Shewassurehehatedher.Itwasjustaswell.ShecoulddoworsethanRandall,and
perhapssomeday,she'devengetoverEvan.
Sure,shethoughtbitterly,asshepulledouttheportraitofherhusband,Duke,thatshekeptinher
deskdrawer,justlikeI'vegottenoveryou.HelookedalotlikeAnna-blondandblue-eyed.Hewastall
andslender,andPollyhadlovedhimjustaspassionatelyasAnnalovedEvan.Butthey'dneverbeen
abletolivetogether,becausehehadwanderlust.Shedidn'tlikerememberinghowshe'dbeggedtogo
withhim,orhowhe'dtoldher,sogently,thathecouldn'tdragheraroundtheworldwithababyinher
arms.Slowlyshebroughtthepicturetoherlipsandkisseditbeforesheputitaway.Somuchfor
lookingback.Shehadworktodo.Shepushedtheintercombuttonandcalledhersecretaryinfor
dictation.
RandalltoldAnnaaboutthewomanhe'dtakentotheplay,becauseheknewEvanwouldmakesureshe
foundout.Ashe'dexpected,shedidn'tbataneyelash.
"Idon'tseeanythingsoterribleaboutit."Sheshrugged."Whydidyoufeelobligedtotellme?"
"BecauseEvanwasthereandwentcrazywhenhe
sawmewithanotherwoman,"hesaidshortly,ramminghishandsinhispockets."Heverynearly
threwapunchatme."
Anna'sheartjumped,butsheschooledherfacenottobetraytheshockofpleasureshefeltatEvan's
displeasure."He'sveryold-fashioned,"shebegan.
"LiketherestoftheTremaynes,Iknow,"hesighed."Well,I'mnevergoingtobeMr.Faithful,Anna,"
headdedwitharuefulsmile."I'msorry.It'snotinme."
"Iknowthat."Shechangedthesubjectabruptly,offeringhimcoffee.Hewatchedhermakeitandwas
suddenlygratefulthathedidn'tloveher.Ifhehad,seeinghowindifferentshewastohisamours
wouldkillhim.ShewasgoingtoliveanddieinlovewithEvanTremayne.Hepitiedher.Hepitied
Evanmore.Therewereworsethingsforamanthanmarryingawomanwholovedhimpassionately.
Evanhadthrownawayapreciousgiftanddidn'tevenknowit.
PollymentionedthatEvanhadbeenbytheofficeandhadtalkedaboutseeingRandallinHouston.It
amazedAnnathathe'dbeensopersistent.Butshewasevenmoresurprisedtofindhimwaitingforher
atthegallerywhenshewenttoopenitthenextmorninginMr.Taylor'sabsence.
"It'sabouttime,"Evansaidcurtly,glaringatherassheproducedthekey.
Herheartjumped,butsheschooledherfacenottoshowthedangerousexcitementhefosteredinher.
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She'dlearnedthehardwaytokeepapokerfacethesedays."Whatdoyouwant?"sheaskedquietly.
Hefollowedherintothegallery,formidableintandenimsandablue-checkedWesternshirt,his
oldblackStetsonslantedarrogantlyoveronedarkeye."YouknowwhatIwant.Howlongareyou
goingtoletRandalldragyourpridethroughthedirtbeforeyoudosomethingaboutit?Ordon'tyou
carethathe'shavingwomenontheside?"
Sheputherpursedownandturnedonthelights,veryelegantinhertailoredgraysuit,withherhair
inaneatchignon."Randallisagrownman.Idon'tmindifhetakesanotherwomantothetheater
whenI'mnotavailable."
"Whyweren'tyouavailable?"hedemanded."You'reengaged,aren'tyou?"
"Ihadaheadache,"shesaidinadequately.
"Already?"heaskedwithacoldmockingsmile."Ithoughtthatcameafteryourweddingnight."
Sheturnedonhimlikeawoundedthing."Getout!"shecried."Leavemealone!"
Hemovedcloser,theslownessofhismovementsimpartingasensualthreat."Thatisn'twhatyou
want,"hesaid,hisvoicedeepandslowandsoft.
Shebackedawayuntilthecounterstoppedher,hereyeswideandfrightenedastheymethis.
Heeasedhishandsontothecounteroneithersideofher,gentlypinninghertherewiththethreatof
hisbody.Hesmelledofspiceandleatherandshehadtoclosehereyestokeepherhandsawayfrom
theexpanseofbroad,hair-roughenedchestinfrontof
her,wherethesnapshadcomeapartathiscollarbone.
"Doesitbotheryoutolookatme?"heaskedquietly.
Hereyesopened,andhereadthevulnerabilityinthem,thehelplessattraction.Hergazewenttohis
chestandwasjerkedbacktohiseyes.
"Sothat'sit,"hesaid,almosttohimself.Hemovedonehandtohisshirtand,holdinghereyes,ripped
thesnapsopendownthefront,baringthebronze,muscularchestunderitsthickmatofdark,curling
hair."Touchme,"hesaidcurtly.
Herlipsparted.Shecouldn'tbelievethiswashappening,hereinthegallery,inbroaddaylight.
"It'sallright,"hesaidquietly.Hecaughtherhandsandputtheminsidehisshirt,pressingthemgently
intothethicknessofbodyhair.
"Evan!"shemoaned.
Hisbreathcaughtashepushedherhandscloser."Oh,God,"hemanagedashisbodysuddenlywent
tautwithviolentarousal."Pull,baby,"hebreathed,bendingtohermouth."Getahandfulofitand
pull...!"
Shedid,archinguptotheopenwarmthofhismouthevenasitmethers.Hegroanedasherhands
grewbolder,caressinghim,tuggingatthethickgrowthofhair,gloryinginhismasculinity,inhis
size,hisstrength.
Heliftedhersuddenlyontothecountersothathewasbetweenthefoldsofherfullskirt,betweenher
thighs.Hismouthbent,nuzzlingunderthejacketto
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findthesoftsilkofherblouseandthesofterwarmthofherbreast.Hismouthopenedonthehardtip,
takingitinsidehislipsalongwiththefabric.
"Ev...an,no!"shecried,shudderingatthesheerecstasyofhismouthonherbody.Butevenasshe
protested,herheadarchedbackandherhandswenttremblingintohisthickbrownhair,dislodging
hishat,toholdhimtoherbody.
"You'remine,"hewhispered,nibblingsoftlyathernipple."Youbelongtome.I'mnotgivingyou
toRandall."
Heliftedhisheadsuddenlyandmovedback,breathingunsteadily,hiseyesdarkandsmolderingas
theymethers.Helookeddownatthedampfabricoverherbreastwithpuremasculinetriumph."Do
youletRandalldothattoyou?"heaskedmockingly.
Shecouldbarelybreathe.Thesightofhimlikethat-hishairdisheveled,hisshirtopenandwrinkled
overhisbarechest,hismouthfaintlyswollenfromitshardpressureagainstherbodymadeherdizzy.
Whathewassayingfinallyregistered,though,andmadeherflushscarlet.She'dactuallylethimtouch
herinthatintimateway,giveninwithoutafight,andhewasmockingherforit.Shefeltawaveof
shame.
"No,youdon't,"heansweredhisownquestion,hiseyesblazingintohers."You'veneverlet
anybodydotoyouwhatyou'llletme.Youneverwill."
Shewastrembling,buttheboldstatementwoundedherpride.Hewastellingherthatheowned
her,andthatwasn'ttrue.Shecouldn'tlethimhumiliateheragain.
Heliftedherdownfromthecounter,kissingherwithcarelesstendernessbeforehelazilyresnapped
thepearlybuttonsofhisshirt."GiveRandallbackthering,"hesaidwithasatisfiedsmile.
Shepulledthejacketoverthewetspotonherblouse,red-faced.Shecouldstillfeelhismouthonher
there.Hemustthinkshewaseasy,totreatherlikethat,likesomeloosewoman."No,"shesaid
huskily.
Hishandspaused."What?"
Shemovedawayfromhimtothedoor,deliberatelyopeningit."YouwantedtoshowmethatIcan't
resistyou.Allright,you'vedoneit.NowyoucangoandlaughaboutitwithNina.ButI'mgoingto
marryRandall."
"ForGod'ssake,why?"heburstoutangrily,almostcrushingtheStetsoninhisbighand."Youdon't
lovehim!"
Sheliftedhereyestohiswithoutflinching."Thatiswhy,"shesaidhoarsely."BecauseIdon'tlove
him.Becausehecanneverhurtmethewayyouhave.Isyourpridesatisfiednow,Evan?"sheasked.
"Hashumiliatingmehealedit?"
Hedrewinasharpbreath."Anna,thatisn'twhyIcame,"hebegan.
"I'dlikeyoutogo,please."
"Youdon'tunderstand,"hesaidangrily,pausinginfrontofher."Icametoexplainsomethingtoyou."
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Sheclosedhereyes,tearsthreatening."Please,can'tyoustophurtingme?"shewhisperedbrokenly.
"I'mgettingmarried,I'mleavingJacobsvillebecauseofyou...isn'tthatenough?"
"Becauseofme?"Heaskedhesitantly,scowling.
Herfacelifted,hereyesopening,tormented."Ican'thelp...whatIfeel,"shesobbed."Whymustyou
keeppunishingmeforit?"
"Oh,baby,no,"hesaid,horrified."Anna,Ididn'tcomeheretohurtyou!"
"Idon'teverwanttoseeyouagain,Evan,"shewhispered."Ifyourfriendshipwithmymotherand
meevermeantanythingtoyou,then,pleasejustgoaway."
"Andletyoumakethebiggestmistakeofyourlifebymarryingthatpill-peddlingphilanderer?"
"Atleasthenevertreatedmelikeatramp!"sheallbutscreamedathim.
Evanstiffened."Ihaven't.Notever."
"Whatwouldyoucallwhatyoujustdidtome?"sheasked,clutchingthejacketcloser,horrifiedat
herownactions,atherresponse.
Hebegantorealizejusthowinnocentshewas,howuntouched.Heletoutaslowbreath."Anna,whatI
didtoyou...that'spartoflovemaking,"hesaidgently."It'snothingtobeashamedof."
Shewentscarlet."Ifyoudon'tleave,I'llscream,"shethreatened,hereyeswetnow.
Hethrewuphishands."Allright.Butthisisn'ttheendofit,"hesaidshortly.
"Yes,itis,"shecried."Goaway!"
Hewentoutthedoor,hismindalreadyspinningwithwaystopryheroutofRandall'sarms.ButAnna
closedthedoorandwept.Sheknewhedidn'tcareabouthernow.Hecouldn't,andtreatherlike-like
that!Andworstofallwasthememorythatshe'dlethim.Howcouldsheeverfaceherselfinthe
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ChapterSix
PollynoticedhowupsetAnnawasatsupper.Shedidn'twanttopry,butshewasworriedabouttheway
herdaughterwaslosingweightandbrooding.
"CanIhelp?"sheaskedAnnagently.
Anna'sheadjerkedupandsheflushed."Uh,no,butthankyou."
"Something'swrong,"Pollysaid."DidRandalldosomethingtoupsetyou?"
Annashookherhead."Itwasn'tRandall."
"Evan?"
Annaflushed.
Pollysmiledgently."Ishouldhaveknown.Hewenttoseeyou,didn'the?Andhadplentytosayabout
Randalltakingthatwomantothetheater."
"Howdidyouknow?"Annaasked.
"Hecametoseeme,too,"Pollysaid,smilingruefully."He'dworkedhimselfintoareallather
overit.Amazinghowpossessiveheisaboutyou,foramanwhoprofessesnottobeinterestedin
you."HereyesnarrowedshrewdlywhenAnna'sflushgotworse."Hedidmorethanjusttalk,too,
didn'the?"
Anna'slowerliptrembledassheliftedhercoffeecuptoherlipsandtookasip."Hetreatedmelike
somewomanhe'dpickedupforthenight,"shesaidhuskily.
Polly'seyebrowsrose.Thatdidn'tsoundlikeEvan."Hekissedyou?"
"Yes,andthenheputhismouthonmy...my..."Shebrokeoff,unabletoputitintowords.
Pollyonlysmiled."Darling,I'veshelteredyoutoomuch,haven'tI?"ShetouchedAnna'scoldhand.
"Anna,nothingis,orshouldbe,tabooinlovemakingbetweenamanandawoman,aslongasthey
bothenjoyit,"shesaidgently."Becauseamantouchesyou,orkissesyou,inalessthanconventional
way,itdoesn'tmeanhehasalowopinionofyou.Wheredidyougetsuchideas?"
"Well,younevertalkaboutit,"Annamumbled.
"You'veneveraskedme."Shestudiedthetormentedyoungface."Didyouenjoywhathedid,
Anna?"
Theyoungerwoman'seyesclosed."Oh,yes,"shewhispered."ButIshouldn'thavelethim,andhe
shouldn'thavetouchedmelikethat.I'mengaged!"
"Toamanwhodoesn'tevenwantyou,"Pollysaidquietly."I'dratherseeyouhaveablazingaffair
withEvanthanmarryamanyoudon'tlove,Anna."
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"Mama!"
"Well,Iwould,"Pollysaidstubbornly."AtleastEvanwantsyou.Ican'timaginehimgoingoutwith
anotherwomanifitwashimyouwereengagedto.Canyou?"
"He'snotlikeRandall."
"No,heisn't.He'spassionateandstubbornandmoremanthanmostwomencouldeverhandle."She
searchedAnna'sface."He'saverybigman,Anna.Therewassometalkonceabouthishavinghurta
womanbadlyinbed."
Annaflushed,hereyesmeetingPolly's."Deliberately?"shewhispered.
"OfcoursenotButhe'suncommonlystrong,andamancan'talwayscontrolhispassionwhenhe's
aroused.Thewomanhewasdatingwashalfhissize,afragilelittlethingandveryinnocent.Idon't
knowifthathasanythingtodowithhisattitudetowardyou,butit'sapossibility."
"I'mnotsmallandfragile,"Annaremindedhermother.
"Iknow.Butyou'reveryinnocent.Virginitycanbeanimpossibleobstacleforsomemen,
especiallymenwhoarealreadyafraidoftheirstrength.It'ssomethingtothinkabout."
"Hedidn'tseemveryafraidofitthismorning,"Annarecalled.
"Kissingisonething.Sexisquiteanother."
Sheclearedherthroat."Iwon'thaveanaffairwithEvan."
"Ineverthoughtyouwould,"Pollyreplied
calmly."Butifhe'sreallyinterestedinyou,itwouldn'thurttoreconsidermarryingRandall.Evan's
twicethemanheis."
"Evanhatesme,"shesaidunsteadily."Helooksatmeasifhecouldtearmelimbfromlimbhalfthe
time."
"Hewantsyou,"Pollyclarified."Desireisviolent,especiallygreatdesirethat'sbeenrepressedtoo
long.I'veseenthewayEvanlooksatyou.Believeme,itisn'thatred."
"Heisn'tamarryingman,"Annasaidwearily."Evenifhedoeswantme,itisn'tforkeeps.Ican't
handlethatkindofrelationship.I'dhatemyself."
"Ismarryingamanyoudon'tloveanybetter?"
"Probablynot,"Annahadtoadmit.Sheputdownhercup."RandallandIaredrivingtoHouston
tomorrowforapartyhisparentsaregiving.We'llbelategettingback.Hewantstotellthemabout
ourengagement."
"Allright.It'syourlife,Anna.I'lladviseyou,butIwon'ttrytoswayyouagain.Youhavetolive
withyourowndecisions,notmine."
Annalookedattheolderwomanquietly."You'reaterrificmother,didIevertellyou?"
Pollysmiledgently."Frequently.ButInevertireofhearingit."
"IthinkI'llgettobedearlytonight,"Annasaid."Ihaven'tbeensleepingwelllately."
"Dothat,darling.Sleeptight."
"You,too."
Butshedidn'tsleep.Shelayawake,feelingover
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andoveragaintheheatofEvan'smouthonherbreast.Shetouchedherbodicewherethelacefell
awayandfeltherbodytautenatjustthememoryofhiswarmlipsthere.Sheshuddered,closingher
eyes.Shecouldhearhisvoice,whispering,seductive,teachingherhowtotouchhim,toexcitehim,
whilehemadeherbodysingwithhismouth.She'dneverdreamedshecouldfeelsohungry,so
wanton.Butithadbeennewandfrighteningandembarrassing,tobesointimatewithhim.She'd
reactedbadly.He'dgoneaway,asshe'dasked,andhehadn'tcalledorcomeback.Perhapsshe'dreally
drivenhimawaythistime,anditmightbeforthebest.WhateverherlifewaslikewithRandall,she
wouldn'tbeatthemercyofherbody,ofneedsshehadn'tknownshehad.
Evanwasn'tsleeping,either.Helaywideawakeonhisownbed,thinkingofAnna,rememberingthe
softnessofherunderhislips.Thathadbeenanerrorinjudgment.Heshouldhavetalkedtoherfirst,
beforehecameontoostrongandfrightenedher.Hehadn'tknownshewassoinnocentthatshefelt
insultedbythesoftloveplaythey'dshared.Underdifferentcircumstances,hecouldhavetakenherin
hisarmsandexplainedittoher,gentlycoaxedhertogiveintohim.Buthe'dchosenabadtime,an
impossibleplace.Nexttime,he'dhavetobemorecautious.Butsomehowhehadtogetherawayfrom
Randallbeforeshemarriedtheman.Thenwhat?WhatwouldhedoaboutAnna?Shewasveryin-
nocentandtheoldfearsstillhauntedhim.Whatifhehurther?Whatifhisstrengthsentherrunning,
asithadLouisa?Couldhebearthat?
Herolledover,closinghiseyes.Onestepatatime,hethoughtbitterly.He'ddoneenoughdamageto
herprideandherheart.Nowhehadtoputitright.Ifhecould.
Randall'sparentslivedinamiddle-classsuburbanhomeinHouston,nothingreallyfancy,butnice.
Theywerepleasantpeople.Hisfatherwasateacher,hismotheradietician,andtheywerekindto
Anna.Butshefeltverymuchondisplaywhentheirfriendsbegantoarrive,anditwasalmostarelief
whenRandallofferedtogoformoreliquorlaterintheevening.
Annawentwithhim,despitehisprotests.Theliquorstorewasinabadpartoftown,hetoldher,and
therewasnodrive-in.He'dhavetoleaveherinthecar.
Shecouldlockit,shetoldhim,laughing.Hehadnothingtoworryabout.
Hegaveinwithobviousreluctance.Annawaswearinganexpensivedressandadiamondpendantthat
Pollyhadboughtforher.Shelookedasthoughshehadmoney.Buthecouldn'ttalkheroutofgoing
withhim,sohemadeherpromisetostayinthecarandkeepthedoorslocked.
Ordinarilyshewouldhavedoneso.Butakittenwanderingonthesidestreetcaughtherattention.It
wassmallandpitifullooking,anditheadedrightfor
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thestreet.Therewasn'tasoulinsight,andtheparkinglotwaswelllighted.Shegotoutofthecarand
wentafterthekitten.
Unexpectedlyitdartedawayandshefollowed,callingit.Hersoftvoiceattractedtheattentionofa
vagrantontheothersideofthestreet.Hesawthewayshewasdressedandassessedtheshinypendant
aroundherneckandtheglitteryringonherhand.
Hewasonherbeforesheknewwhathadhither.Shefoughtlikeatigress,butherstrugglingonly
enragedhimandmadehimmuchmoredangerousthanhewouldhavebeenifshe'dlethimhavethe
diamondandtheemeraldring.
Shefeltstarkterrorashisbigfistconnectedwithherface,andshescreamed,buthekepthittingher.
Shecouldn'tevengetaway.Hewasanenormousman,heavysetandvicious,andbythetimeshe
finallyblackedout,shetastedbloodandfeltasthoughhe'dbrokenhertopieces...
Randallcamebacktothecarandwhenhefounditempty,hepanicked.Droppingthebagofliquoron
thehoodofthecar,herandownthestreet,callingher.Ashadowmoved,andhewenttowardit
hesitantly,justintimetoseeaman'sshapemovequicklyaway.Therewasadarkblobontheground,
andRandallknewalltoowellwhatithadtobe.
HerushedtoAnna'sside,groaningashesawherbleeding,bruisedface.Heexaminedherquickly,
professionally.Herdresswastornbut,thankGod,themanhadn'trapedher.Hemighthave,ifRandall
hadn'tcomealongwhenhehad.Asitwas,he'dleft
withherjewelry.Herpulsewasweak,butstillthere.Therewasbloodinherhairfromwhereshe'dhit
thepavementandshewasalmostsurelyconcussed.
"Anna,canyouhearme?"Randallaskedhuskily.
Shedidn'tanswer.Shewasunconscious.
Hepulledouthispenlightandexaminedhereyesquickly,gratefulforhismedicaltraining.Definitely
concussion,hethought,andthatcouldbeserious.Heliftedherandstruggledtogetherintothecar.
Thenhedrovelikeamadmantotheemergencyroomofthenearesthospital.
Hardenwastheonlyoneathomewhenthetelephonerang.Hepickedupthereceiver,expectinga
businesscall.ButitwasPollyCochranontheotherendoftheline,halfhystericalandallbut
incoherent.
"Slowdown,Polly,"hesaidcurtly."Whatisit?"
"It'sAnna!Oh,God,I'vegottogettoHouston,Harden.Ican't...Ican'tdrive.IsEvanthere?"
"No,he'sflowntoDallasforameeting."Hedidn'taddthatEvanhadraisedhellwhenhehadtogo,
becausehisplansforthedaywerefocusedonsomethingmuchmoreimportantthanbusiness,buthe
hadn'tsaidwhat.He'dgone,withfuriousreluctance."What'shappenedtoAnna?"
"She'sbeenmugged.She'sinthehospitalandbadlyhurt,"Pollysaidshakily."Ihaveto..."
"I'llgetMirandaandwe'llberightover.You'reathome?"
"Yes.Thankyou!"
"Noneed.You'ddoitforus."Hehungupand
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wenttofindMiranda.MinuteslatertheypickedPollyupatherhouseandheadedtowardHouston.
"She'llbeallright,Polly,"Mirandasaidgently,smilingreassuringlyather."She'sastronggirl."
"Oh,Ihopeso,"Pollysaidhuskily,fightingtears.
Annawasintheintensivecareunitwhentheygottothehospital,attachedtolifesupportsystems,her
breathinglabored,hereyesclosed.Herfacewasamassofbruisesandcuts,oneeyealmostswollen
shut.Randallcameoutoftheunittotalktotheminthehall.
"She'shadabadtimeofit,"hesaidquietly."Theconcussioniswhatworriesusmost.Fortherest,
it'sjustbruisesandcuts,andshe'llheal."
"Shewasn'traped?"Pollyaskedthroughherteeth.
Randallshookhishead."Igottoherintimetofrightenthemanoff."Hesighedwearily."Oh,God,
I'msosorry.It'smyfault.Wewentouttogetsomemoreliquorfortheparty,andItoldhertostayin
thecar,sothatshe'dbesafe.Istilldon'tunderstandwhatmadehergetoutofit."
"Whydidyoutakeherwithyou?"Pollywailed.
"Sheinsisted,"Randallsaidhelplessly.
IfithadbeenEvan,she'dhavestayedathome,Pollythoughtangrily.Evanwouldhaveprotectedher.
Butshedidn'tsayit.Randalllookedbrokenupenoughasitwas.
TheywentintotheintensivecareunitandPollysatbesideherdaughter,holdingherhand.Shehadto
getwell.Shehadto!
ItwasmorningbeforeHardenandMirandagothome.Pollyhadrefusedtoleave,soHardenhad
promisedtoreturnlaterinthedaywithsomethingssheneeded.HetoldDonaldandTheodorawhat
wasgoingon,thengrabbedafewhourssleep.Hegotupearlyanddidwhatheneededtodoonthe
ranchbeforehewenttoPolly'shouseandfilledanovernightcaseforher.Thenhedrovebackto
Houston.
Itwassuppertimewhenhereturned.Hewaswornandhaggard.Evanwashome,buthe'dbeenout
mostofthedayandhadjustjoinedthefamily.Nobodyhadtoldhimyet.
Hardendidn'tknowthat.HeclappedEvanontheshoulder."I'msorryaboutAnna,"hesaidquietly.
Evanshrugged."Oneofthosethings,"hesaidcurtlyandturnedaway.
HardenwasshockedbyEvan'slackoffeeling,butperhapshewasstillrawfromherengagementand
hidingit.
HardensatdownandwaitedforTheodoratosaygrace.Whiletheyate,Evantalkedaboutthemeeting
andwhathe'dlearned.
Mirandahadfeltnauseated,soshewaslategettingdownstairs.She'dbeenasleepwhenHardencame
home,sohehadn'twantedtowakeher.Hesmiledatherasshejoinedthem,liftinghisfaceforher
softkissbeforesheeasedintothechairbesidehim,herpregnancydelightfullyobvious.
"Howisshe?"sheaskedgently.
"There'snochange,"Hardensaidheavily."IpromisedPollyI'ddrivebackuptomorrow,sothat
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shewon'tbecompletelyalone.She'striedtocontactDuke,buthe'soutofthecountry.Theyexpect
himbacktomorrow.IhopetoGod..."
"Dotheyhaveanyideawhodidit?"Theodoraaskedquietly.
"Notyet,"Hardensaid."Theywon't,unlesshetriestofencethejewelry.That'salongshot,too."
"Maybenot,"Mirandainterrupted,awareofEvan'ssuddeninterest."Thatemeraldsolitairewould
standout,wouldn'tit?"
"Soitwould,"Hardenagreed.
"Whatthehellareyoutalkingabout?"Evanasked."Annahasanemeraldsolitaire."
"Shedidhave,"Hardensaid."Itwasstolen."
"How?"
Hardensatverystill.Heglancedaroundthetable,fromDonaldandJoAnnetoTheodora."Hasn't
anybodytoldhimyet?"heaskedsoftly.
"Therewasn'ttime,"Theodorasaidgently.ShegrimacedasshelookedatEvan."AndIdidn'tquite
knowhow-"
"Tellmewhat?"Evangroundout.
"Anna'sinthehospitalinHouston,"Hardensaidquietly."Shewasattackedandbadlyhurt.She'sina
coma."
HehateddoingthattoEvaninfrontoftheothers.HealonehadagoodideaofhowEvanreallyfelt
aboutAnna,anditwaslikestrippinghispridenaked.
Evanhandleditwell,though.Exceptforhissuddenpallorandacertainawkwardnessabouthis
movementswhenhestoodup,helookedperfectlynormal.
"Let'sgo,"hetoldHarden.
Hardenknewwhennottoargue.HekissedMiranda."Don'twaitup.I'llbebackwhenIcan."
"Drivecarefully,"shesaid,smiling.
HenoddedtowardtheothersandfollowedEvanout.
"Givemeacigarette,"thebiggermansaidwhentheywereheadedtowardHoustoninHarden'scar.
"Youdon'tsmoke."
"Ijuststarted."
HehandedEvanhiscigarettesandmatches."Ihatecorruptingyou.Nextyou'llwantadrink."
"Ialreadydo.Tellmehowithappened."
"I'drathernot."
"Why?"
"Becauseyou'revolatileenoughalready."
"Itwasthatdamneddoctor,wasn'tit?Heletheroutofhissight."
"Inanutshell,yes,buthedidtellhertostayinthecar.Shegotout,Godknowswhy,andwas
attackedforherjewelry.Apparentlysheputupahellofafight,butjudgingfromthebeatingshe
took,hewasbigandmean."
Evancursedsolidlyforfiveminutes,goingfromangertoragetomurderousfury.Hardendidn'ttry
tostophim.Heknewexactlyhowhe'dfeelifitwasMirandainthathospitalroom.
"Whatareherchances?"heaskedfinally,almostchokingashedrewonthecigarette.
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"Fifty-fifty.We'llhavetowaitandsee."
"Doesshewanttolive,doyouthink?"heasked,hisvoicehaunted."I'vehurther,Harden.I'vereally
hurther."
"Itwasn'tyourfaultthatyouwantedheroutofyourlife,"heremindedtheotherman.
"ButIdidn't,"Evansaidmiserably."IwasafraidImighthurther.AfterLouisa..."
"We'vehadthisconversationbefore.Annaisn'tLouisa.Youmighthavegivenherachance."
"Yes.Iknow."Hetookanotherdrawfromthecigarette."Iwasplanningto.IthoughtIstillmightbe
abletotakeherawayfromRandall,ifItried."
"Glorybe!Yougotintelligent!"
"Igotdesperate,"hesaidhuskily."Ihadthesweetesttasteofheryoucouldimagineattheart
gallerytwodaysago.Ihaven'tsleptsince.Iwantheruntilmyheartaches."
Hardenglancedathishard,setface."Iknowhowthatfeels,"hesaidgently."Ihopeitworksoutfor
you."
"Ihopeshelives,"Evansaiddully."That'sallIwant,forthemoment.That,andtokillthemanwho
putherinthatbed."
Hardendidn'tsayaword.Heunderstood.
AnhourlaterEvanwasallowedintotheintensivecareunit.Hecursedsilentlyatthesightofherpoor,
hurtface.Heshouldhaveneverforcedheroutofhislife.He'dbroughtthisonher,bylettingRandall
takeherawaywithoutafight.Hecouldn'tbearitifshedied.
Hesatdownbythebedandslidherslender,coolhandbetweenhisbigwarmones.
"Anna,"hewhispered.
Shedidn'tstir,buthecouldhaveswornhesawhereyelashesflicker,justahair.
"Anna,it'sme.It'sEvan.Canyouhearme,baby?"
Theendearmentgotareaction.Herfingersmovedslightlyinthecradleofhishands.
"Yes,youcanhearme,can'tyou,littleone?"heaskedsoftly.Hegottohisfeetandbentdown,so
thattherewasnodangerthatanyonepassingbytheopendoorcouldhearhim."Doyouremember
whatwedidtogetherintheartgallery,Anna?"hewhispered,hiswarmbreathstirringthesoftblond
hairatherear."Doyourememberhow,andwhere,Ikissedyou?"
Shemadeasoftsoundandhereyebrowsjerked.
Hislipsbrushedherearlobe.Histeethgentlyclosedonit."Ilovedthefeelofyourbreastundermy
mouth,Anna,"hewhispered."Iwantitagain."
Shemoaned.Heliftedhishead,hiseyesglitteringwithtriumphasshebegantomoveherhead.
"That'sit,"hecoaxed."That'sit,littleone,comeback.Comebacktome."
Secondslaterhereyesopenedandfocusedonhim.Shegrimacedandtheyclosedagainandshe
shivered.
Hepushedthenurse'scallbutton.Whenthenursearrived,beforeshecouldspeak,hesaid,"She's
conscious."
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Thatwasallittook.Hewasescortedoutintothehallwhileateamofwhite-coatedpeoplemarched
intoherroom.
"Shecameto,"hetoldPolly,smiling."She'llbefine."
"But,how?"Pollyasked,hugginghim,laughing."Whatdidyousaytoher?"
Heclearedhisthroatandlookeduncomfortable."Ijusttalkedtoher,"hesaidevasively.Hescowled
suddenly,glancingaround."Where'sRandall?"heasked.
"He'sstayingwithhisparents,"Pollysaid."Hewastired,sohewenttogetsomesleep."
"Withherhere?"Evanasked,outraged.
HardencaughthisarmandpulledhimasidewhilethedoctorcameoutandspokewithPolly.
"You'rewavingaflag,"Hardencautioned.
"Ican'thelpit,"Evanraged."Damnit,doesn'thecare?"
"Notthewayyoudo,"theothermanrepliedquietly."Orisn'tthatalreadyobvious?"
Evanranaroughhandthroughhishair."Sheflinched.Shelookedatmeandflinched.Ifshedidn't
hateme,sheprobablydoesnow."
"She'sdisorientedandinpain,"Hardenreplied."Giveittime."
"Time,"Evansaidonaheavysigh."Yes."
Hepursedhislips."Whatdidyousaytoher?"
Evanactuallyflushed.HegaveHardenacoldglareandwenttolistentowhatthedoctorwassaying.
Annawasgoingtobeallright,thedoctortoldthem,buttherewouldmorethanlikelybesome
emotionaltraumaandshe'dneedcounseling.Beingoverpoweredandbeatenbythemancouldaffect
herdrastically.Hewasabigman,too,thedoctorhadadded,andverystrong.HeglancedatEvan
ruefullyandsaidflatlythatshemightfindEvan'spresencefrighteningandevenalittleintimidating
untilshehadtimetorecoverfromherordeal.
Evanlistened,buthedidn'tleave.IfRandallwasn'tgoingtoassumehisresponsibilityforAnna,Evan
certainlywas.Hewouldn'tgoawayandleaveher,andhesaidso.Thedoctoronlysmiled.
PollywasgratefulforEvan'scompanyinthedaysthatfollowed,becauseRandallhadtogobackto
work.HewalkedwidearoundEvan,feelingmoreguiltythaneverwhenthebigmanglaredathim.
AnnalovedEvan,andRandallhatedstandinginthewayofherhappiness.Hisoriginalreasonfor
wantingtomarryherhadbeguntodisturbhimmoreandmoreasherealizedhowunhappyAnnahad
been.They'dbeenfriends,andhemissedherold,bubblingpersonality.Now,morethanever,he
wantedhertobehappy.Heknewhecouldn'tgiveherthat.ButEvancould.Hewasleavingthefield
clearforthemanshereallyloved.Whenshewaswellagain,he'dbreakofftheengagement,asgently
ashecould,andhopethatthingswouldworkoutforher.
Evandidn'tknowabouttherationale,sohespentthebetterpartofthedaycursingRandallforallhe
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wasworth.HecursedevenmorewhenAnnasuddenlyrefusedtoseehim.
Hecouldn'tacceptthat.HewaiteduntilPollywenttogetherselfacupofcoffeeinthehospital
canteen,thenhecalmlywalkedintoAnna'sroomandsatdowninthechairbesideherbed.
Shestiffenedathisapproach,andhereyesgrewhuge.Heknewshemustbeconnectinghissize
withthatofherassailant,butitwasmorethanhecoulddotoleavehernow.
"Don'tbeafraidofme,"hesaidquietly,searchingherblackenedeyes."I'mnotgoingtohurtyou.
Notever."
Sheseemedtorelaxalittle,butherposturewasstillrigid,andshedidn'ttakehereyesoffhim.
"Where'sRandall?"sheasked,hervoiceslurredbecauseofthemedicinetheyweregivingher.
"YoucanforgetRandall,"hesaidshortly."Becausethelastthingintheworldyou'regoingtodois
marryhim."
ChapterSeven
Annawascertainthatshecouldn'tpossiblyhaveheardhimright."What?"shefaltered.
"Isaid,you'renotmarryingRandall,"herepliedmatter-of-factly.Heglancedatthetraythey'd
broughtherforlunch."Youaren'teating.Doyouwantthemtoputthosetubesbackinandfeedyou
intravenously?"
"I'mnothungry,"shesaid,dazed.
Hegotupanduncoveredthefooddishes,hisdarkeyesglaringather."You'velostenoughweight."
"I'mabiggirl,"shemuttered.
"Hmm,"heagreedabsently,lettinghiseyesfalltothethrustofherbreastsunderthethinhospital
gown.Hesmiledgently."Inplaces."
Sheflushedandherbreathdrewin.
Evancockedaneyebrow."Shocked?YourememberhowIpulledyouback,don'tyou,littleone?"he
askedsoftly."WhatIremindedyouof."
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Sheswallowed,feelingtrappedandnervousofhim,painfullyshy.Sheloweredhereyestothewhite
sheet.
Hewouldn'thavethat.Hetouchedherbruisedchinverygentlyandliftedherfacetohis,searching
hereyesinatensesilence.Herememberedthen,vividly,howshe'dreactedtotheintimatecaress,
whatshe'dthought.Hesmiledgently."Anna,whatIdidtoyouwasn'tmeanttomakeyoufeelcheap,"
hesaid,hisvoicedeepandtender.
"I...Iknow,now,"shesaidhesitantly,withoutaddingthatPollyhadexplainedittoher."Itfrightened
me,"shewhispered.
"Yes,andIthinkIknowwhy."Hebent,hiseyesfallingtohersoftlips.Hebrushedthemgentlywith
his."Desirecanbefrightening.ThewayIwantyouscaresthehelloutofme.Nowmorethanever."
Shetrembled,hereyesclosingashislipstouchedherswithlazyexpertise.Herhandwenttohisarm,
thenailsdiggingintothehugemuscle,scrapinggentlyasheplayedwithhermouth.
"Oh,Evan,youshouldn't,"shemoanedhelplesslyathislips."I'mengaged..."
Hismouthpresseddownonhershungrily,drivingallthoughtsofRandallandhonorrightoutofher
mind.Shecriedout,bothhandstremblingathisnape,curlingintoitwhileheforcedhermouthopen
andhistonguethrusthungrilyintoit.
Herhelplessshudderandthesoundsshemadeunderhismouthbroughthimbacktosanity.Shewas
weakandhurt.Hehadnorighttotormenther.
Heliftedhisheadslowly,hiseyesopeningtosearchhers."I'msorry,"hewhispered."ButIneeded
that.Here,stopshaking,littleone,orthey'llthinkI'mtorturingyou."
"Aren'tyou?"shewhisperedback,hervoiceshaken.
Hiseyesdarkened,hisjawwenttaut."Itfeltlikethat,didn'tit?"heaskedhuskily."Iwantedsomuch
morethanyourlips,Anna."Hiseyeswenttoherbreasts,wherehertautnipplesbetrayedtheemotion
he'dsummonedupinher."Dotheywantmymouthonthem?"hewhispered."Withnofabricinthe
waytodullthewarmthandmoistnesswhenItakeyouinsideit?"
Shemoanedhoarsely.
Hecaughthisbreath,standingupabruptly."God,I'msorry!"hegroundout.
Sheturnedherheadandfoundherselflookingdownthebroadsweepofhischestandshouldertothe
thickbeltthathelduphisjeans.Andthenattheevidenceofhisuncontrollableresponsetotheirquick
passion.
"Yes,Iwantyou,"hesaidcurtly,followinghereyestohisbody."Ican'thideit,canI?"
Shebitherlowerlip,strugglingforwords.
"Noneedtoagonizeoverit,"hemurmured,goingbacktotheplatesonhertrayashemovedit
acrossherlap."Itwillsubsideeventually,"headdedwithruefulhumor.
Hemadeitsoundmatter-of-fact,andhedidn'tseemtobeembarrassedthatshesawhimlikethat.
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Shewatchedhisfaceasheundidthelidsfromtheplates.
"Itdoesn'tembarrassyou?"sheaskedinawhisper.
"Notparticularly."Helaughedshortly,glancingdownather."Infact,it'sawelcomechange."
"Idon'tunderstand."
"Don'tyou?"Helaidthelidsaside."Itdoesn'thappenwithotherwomenlately,"hesaid,turningto
faceher."Infact,Ican'tmakeithappenwithanyoneelse.Onlyyou."
Hereyesspokevolumes,half-questioning,half-jealous.
Henodded."That'sright.Itried.IwenttoDenveronbusinessafterI'dkissedyouthatdayinthe
gallery.IdeliberatelycameontooneofthepartygirlsImetthereandtookherupstairswithme.We
drankandwatchedtelevision,andIsentheraway,becausedespiteherbeautyandherobvious
expertise,Icouldn'tevenpretendtobeinterested."
"You...were...?"
"Thewordisimpotent,"hesaidquietly."Ironic,isn'tit?AllIhavetodoislookatyou,andI'mso
arousedIcan'tevenholdafork."
Hedrewherattentiontoit,tothefinetremorofhisbighandashedippedtheforkintoacreamy
chickendish.Shehatedthethoughtofhimwithanotherwoman,evenifitdidmakeherfeelwarmall
overtorealizethatheonlywantedher.
"Openup,"hesaidgently,liftingthefoodtohermouth.
"But,youdon'thavetodothat,"sheprotested.Allthesame,sheopenedhermouthandlethimslide
theforkfulin.
"Yes,Ido,"herepliedgently,searchingherpoor,bruisedface."I'vehurtyoumorethanIever
meantto.Butthat'sover.I'mgoingtotakethemostexquisitecareofyoufromnowon,Anna."
Becausehefeltsorryforher.That,anddesire.Shecouldhavecried.
"But,Randall,"shewhispered.
Hiseyesflashedatherfromunderthickbrowneyebrows."Randallcangotohell.Henevershould
havetakenyoutothatliquorstore.Andyouhaven'tyetsaidwhyyougotoutofthecarinthefirst
place."
"Therewasakitten,"shesaid,hereyessofteningwiththememory."Itwaslostandheadingforthe
street."
Hisheartturnedover.Atthatmoment,helovedherwithsuchpassionthathisbodycouldbarely
containit.Hewantedtothrowthetrayasideandcomedownbesideheronthebed.
Sheliftedhereyes,puzzledbyhissilence,andsawtheviciousheatofhisgaze.Herfacefroze.
"Whatisit?"herasped.
"Thatlook,"shesaid,avertinghergaze."Youlookedasifyouhatedme."
Hereacheddownandturnedherfacebacktohis."ThatlookisaragingdesirethatIcanonlyjust
control,"hesaidtightly."Yes,"headdedwhenshestaredathim."It'severybitasviolentashatred,but
Iassureyou,itisn't.Andthere'snoneedtobeafraid
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ofit,orme.Nothingisgoingtohappen,Anna,leastofallwhileyou'relyingtherebruisedand
broken."
"I'mnotafraidofyou,"shesaidgently.
"Aren'tyou?"heaskedcurtly."Thedoctorsaidthatyouweregoingtohavesomeemotionaltrauma
becauseofwhathappened.Themanwasaboutmysize,hesaid."
Hereyessweptoverhimsoftly."Yes,"sheagreed."Buthewasacold,brutalstrangerwhowanted
myjewelry."
Hisheartleapt."Isee."
Heliftedanotherforkfulofchickentohermouth,takinghistime,feedingherasgentlyasifshe'd
beenachild.
"Myeyehurts,"shesaidwhenhefinishedandmovedthetrayaway.
"Idon'tdoubtit.You'vegotashiner."
Shemanagedasmile.Herfacehurtwhenitmoved."IcantellpeopleIwasinabrawl."
"Yougavehimafewbruises,Ihear,"hesaid,hatingthethoughtofsomemanbeatingher.
"Afewbites,too,"shemutteredangrily."Hecouldhavejusttakenthejewelry,hedidn'thaveto...to
hitmelikethat!"
Evanwasvibratingwithequalanger.Shelookedupandsawhisface.Itcalmedherdown.
Thepainkillersmadeheroddlycomfortablewithhim,asifshedidn'thavetofightherfeelingsor
avoidpersonalquestions.
"Evan,canIaskyousomethingverypersonal?"sheaskedafteraminute.
Hewaslightingacigarette.Heturnedbacktoher,hisdarkhairfallingroguishlyontohisbroad
forehead,hisjeanstautacrosshispowerfullegsasheleanedbackagainstthewallbesidethewindow
andcrossedthem.
"Shoot,"heinvited.
"You'resmoking!"sheexclaimed.
Hisbigshouldersroseandfell."JustaswellIcouldn'tleaveyoulongenoughtogotoabar,orI'd
bedrinking,too,"hesaid.
"Butwhy?"
"BecauseIwasworried,ofcourse,"hesaid,staringatherasifsheweredemented."Pollyspoketo
yourfatherthismorning,bytheway,"headded."HereturnedtotheStateslastnightandgotthe
messageshe'dleftforhimthenightyouwerebroughtin.He'sonhiswayoutfromAtlantanow."
"Daddy?"Shesmiled,delighted."Ihaven'tseenhimforyears."
"Iknow.Polly'sprettynervousherself."
"Iwishtheycouldmakeup,"shemurmured."Neitherofthemwantsanyoneelse,buttheycan'tlive
together."
"Yourfatherwillgettiredofwanderingsomedayandcomehome,"hetoldher."Polly,Iimagine,
willbewaiting."Hestaredather,curlsofsmokedriftingupfromhiscigarette."Whatdidyouwantto
askme?"
"Oh.That."Shestudiedhisdark,unsmilingface."You'vebeensodifferentlately,"shemurmured.
"Notthesamemanyouwere."
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"HowwasI?"
"Lighthearted,"sherecalled."Carefreeandplayful.You'vechanged.IsitbecauseofNina?"
"Whatdoyouthink,baby?"
Sheblushedattheendearment,rememberinghowandwhenhe'dsaidit.
"Wasthatwhatyouwantedtoknow?"
Shedrewinaslowbreath."No."Shestudiedherclaspedhands.Onewasscrapedrawwhereshe'd
fallentothepavementduringherstrugglewithherassailant.Theexperiencehadbeenterrifying,and
she'dhadnightmaressince,butwhenEvanwasaround,shedidn'tthinkaboutit.
"Well?"heaskedimpatiently.
"Idon'tthinkIcan."
Hemovedclosertothebed."Thereisnothing,absolutelynothing,youcan'taskme,"hetoldher
quietly.
"Evenabout...aboutthatgirlwhosaidyouhurther?"sheasked,repeatingthegossipPollyhadonce
toldher.
Hefroze.Hisfacestiffenedasallhisfearscamebacktotormenthim.
Shelookedupandwinced."I'msorry.Evan,I'msorry!"
Hemetherworriedeyesandtookadeepbreath."Itwasalongtimeago,"hesaiddully.
"Andyoudon'twanttotalkaboutit,"shesaid."Ishouldn'thavesaidanything."
Hisbrowsdrewtogether."Whatdidyouwanttoknowaboutit?HowIhurther?"
Shewentscarletanddroppedhereyes.
Helaughedbitterly."Isthatwhatyouthink,Anna?"heaskedonanexpelledbreath."ThatIgetmy
kicksfrombeingcruelinbed?"
Herhandstightenedtogetheruntiltheknuckleswentwhite."No!"
"WhatifIdo?"hepersisted,angrythatshecouldthinkofhimthatway.Herememberedhisown
roughnesswithherwhenhe'dkissedher,andrealizedthathemighthavegivenherafoundationfor
herassumptions.Hemovedclosertothebed,hiseyesglitterywithtemper."WhatifIlikeit?"
Shegroundherteethtogether."Iknowyou'renotlikethat,"shesaidstubbornly.
"Doyou?"heleaneddown,hiseyeslookingstraightintohers,makingherheartjumpandrun."Ibit
you,"hewhispered."Doyourememberwhere?"
Herbodytrembledwiththememory,herbreastsgoinghard-tipped,betrayingher."Yes,"she
whispered."Butit...didn'thurt."
"Itwasn'tsupposedto,"hesaidquietly.Hiseyessearchedhers."You'venevermadeloveatall,have
you?NotevenwithRandall."
"Italwaysseemedsointimate,"sherepliednervously."Almostdistasteful."
"Butnotwithme?"
Herlipspartedashergazefellhelplesslytohishardmouth,andsherememberedhowitfelttokiss
himwithherwholeheartandhavehimkissherbackinthathungry,expertway."Nothingcouldever
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seemdistastefulwithyou,"shemanagedweakly,tooshatteredtolie,eventosaveherpride.
Hishandpressedgentlyagainsthercheek,histhumbrubbingsoftlyoverherswollenlips.Hebent
andbrushedhisnoseagainsthers.
"Louisawasverysmall,"hewhispered."Andasinnocentasyouare.Weweregoingtobecome
engaged,andIwantedherverybadly.SoItookherbacktomyapartmentandundressedher.ThenI
pulledoffmyclothesandturnedaround...andshewentwhiteintheface."
Hereyesliftedtohis,startled.
Henoddedgrimly."Shewashalfyoursize.Sheknewnothingofsexexceptwhatshe'dgleaned
fromherromancenovels.IwascrazytohaveherandIdidn'trealizehowfrightenedshewas.I
thoughtIcouldcoaxherintomyarms.ForafewsecondsIthoughtshewasmine.ThenIlostcontrol,
andshecouldn'tgetfree.Shefoughtmeandscreamed.Icametomysensesjustasshefelloffthebed
andhurtherribs."Hestoodup,hisfacepale."Shesaidsomethings..."Heturnedaway,hidingthe
lookinhiseyes."Anyway,thatwasmyfirstandlastexperienceofvirgins.SincethenI'veavoided
themliketheplague."
"Ifyoulovedherenoughtomarryher,itmusthavebeenaterribleblowtoyourpride,"shesaid
quietly,understandingnowhisreluctancetobecomeinvolvedwithher.
"Itwas."Hesighedheavilyandglancedathergentleface,atitssoftflush."She'dneverseena
nakedmanbefore,muchlessoneasobviouslyarousedasIwas."Hiseyesnarrowedather
embarrassment."Youhaven'teither,haveyou,Anna?"
"No,"sheconfessedhuskily.
"SheleftJacobsvillesoonafterwards.ThelastIheardshewasmarriedtosomeinsuranceagentand
hadtwochildren."Helaughedbitterly."Maybehehadthegoodsensetogetherdrunkandturnthe
lightsoutfirst."
Hereyeswidened."Youdidn'thavethelightsout?"
Shelookedhorrified.Inspiteofhimself,hebegantolaugh."Oh,myGod,youdon'tthinkpeople
onlymakeloveatnight,inthedark?"
"Don'tthey?"sheasked,tryingtoimaginehowembarrassingitwouldbetoliedownwithamanlike
thatinbroaddaylight.
Hesatdownheavilyinthechairbesidethebed."RemindmetogiveyouacopyoftheKamasutrafor
Christmas,"hesaidruefully.
Sheknewwhatthebookwas,evenifshedidn'townone."Evan!"
"Allright,keepyourinhibitions."Hepursedhislipsasheflickedashesintotheashtrayonher
bedsidetable."Notthatyouhadmany,inthegallerythatday,"heremarkedsoftly."Oranyothertime
I'vetouchedyou."
Herheartwasgoingcrazy."Youshouldn'ttalktomelikethis,"shebegan.
"Becauseofthebelovedphysician?"heaskedsarcastically.
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"Because...it'snotdecent,"shesaiduneasily.
Hejustshookhishead."Baby,youareacase,"hemurmured."Somanyrepressions."
"Don'tmakefunofme,"shesaidcurtly."It'snosinnottosleeparound."
Hiseyebrowslifted."DidIsayitwas?"
"YousaidIwasrepressed,"shemuttered.
Hislipstuggedintoareluctantsmile."Repressed,butpassionate,"hereplied."Allyouneedisafew
lessons."
Sheswallowed."Randallcangivethemtome."
"That'llbetheday,"hesaidflatly."Itoldyou,consideryourengagementbroken.Randall'snotgetting
you.Anylessonsyougetfromnowonwillbefromme."
"Youdon'twantme!"sheburstout.
"Andyouknowbetter,"hesaidquietly.
Sheglaredathiminafrustratedfury."Youcan'tbuildarelationshipondesire."
"Iagree."Heleanedbackinthechair,hiseyesdarkandpossessive."Butyoucanbuildoneon
love."
"IloveRandall,"shechoked.
Heonlysmiled."No,you.don't,"hesaidsoftly."Youloveme."
"Youdon'twantmeto,"sherepliedmiserably,notbotheringtodenyit.Shelaybackagainstthe
pillowsandclosedhereyeswearily."I'msleepy."
"Restisthebestthingforyou.I'llgoandfindPolly."Heputouthiscigaretteandadjustedthe
pillowunderherhead,pullingthesheetuptoher
breasts.Thebackofhisknucklesbrushedthetipofoneanditwentimmediatelytaut.
Sheblushed,buthedidn'tteaseheraboutit.Ifanything,hisfacegrewmoresolemn.
"Whenyou'reoutofhere,"hesaid,"we'regoingtostartspendingsometimetogether."
"Youdon'thavetodothat,"shemurmured.
"Iknow.Iwantto."Hebentandbrushedhismouthgentlyacrossherforehead."Mypoorbruised
baby,"hewhispered."I'msorryhehurtyou."
Tearsthreatenedathistenderness.He'dbeeneverywaywithher,fromteasingtocoldtopassionate,
buthe'dneverbeentenderbefore.
"Ninawon'tlikeit,"shesaidunsteadily."AndneitherwillRandall,"sheadded.
"Neitherofthemmatters,"hesaid,dismissingthem.Hebrushedhislipssoftlyagainsthers."Goto
sleep.I'llbeherewhenyouwakeup."
"Butyoudon'twantmearound,"shewhisperedasshebegantodoze."YoukeepthrowingNinaatme
toproveit."
Hisfacewentrigidwithself-contempt."Everyman'sentitledtoonestupidmistake."
"She'sverypretty,"shesighed.
"Gotosleep,"hesaidgruffly.
Shedid,herlastconsciousthoughtthathesoundedangryaboutsomething,butshewastoosleepyto
wonderwhat.
Whenshewokeagain,atallmanwithgrayingblondhairandblueeyeswassittinginthechairwhere
Evanhadbeen,gravelyconcerned.
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"Papa!"sheexclaimed,andheldoutherarms.
Hewentintothemwithroughlaughter,huggingherwarmly."AndhereIsat,worriedtodeathabout
thekindofreceptionI'dget."
"Don'tbesilly.You'remydad.Iloveyou."
"I'msorryIwasn'theresooner,"hesaidbitterly."Iwasoutofthecountry.Ididn'tknowuntillast
night.Howareyou?"Hestoodup,studyingher."Theysaidyouwerebadlyconcussed."
"Iwas,butI'mmuchbetter.Justalittlebattered."
"SoIsee.Andtheman,theonewhodidit?"
"Theyhaven'tcaughthimyet,buttheymaybeabletotracehimthroughthejewelryhetook."
"Ifhewasajunkie,that'snotlikely,"hesaidheavily."Theyhaveanetworkalltheirownfor
fencinggoods.Mypoorlittlegirl!"
"I'llbeallright."
"Nothankstoyourso-calledfiancee,"hegrowled."Whatpossessedyoutoletyourselfbetalked
intomarryingthatwimp?"hedemanded."IthoughtyouwereheadoverheelsinlovewithEvan
Tremayne!"
"Sheis,"cameadeep,amuseddrawlfromthedoorwayasEvansaunteredin,carryingtwocupsof
coffee.Annaflushed,andhegrinned."Stilltakeitblack,Duke?"
DukeCochranchuckled,risingtotakethecupfromEvanandshakehands."Yes,Istilldo.Howare
you?"
"Tired."HeglancedpasthimatAnna,whowaspalebutlookedatleastalittlebetter."Weallare.It's
beenalongweek."
"Iknow.I'msorryIwasn'there."
"Couldn'tbehelped."
"Yes,itcould,"Dukesaidangrily,runningarestlesshandthroughhishair."I'mneveraroundwhen
I'mneeded.Polly'sright,myfamily'sonlybeenanafterthought,hasn'tit,sweetheart?"heaskedAnna.
"Ithasn't,"shedisagreed,hereyessoft."Youjustcan'tsettledown.Iunderstand.Mostmenlove
theirfreedom,"sheaddedwithoutdaringtolookatEvan.
"Freedomcancosttoomuchsometimes,"Dukerepliedtersely.
"Amen,"Evansaidunderhisbreath.
Pollycameinthedoorandstopped,herhandgoingtoherthroatasshelookedintoblueeyesshe
hadn'tseenfortwolongyears."Duke,"shewhispered.
"Hello,pumpkin,"hesaid,smilinghesitantly."Surprise,it'sreallyme."
"Youlook..."
"Ifyousaymarvelous,"Dukethreateneddryly,"I'llsmackyou.Comehere,woman,andgivemea
kiss.I'vegonehungrytoolongalready!"
"Oh,you!"
Pollyblushed,butshewenttohim,liftingherfaceforakissthat,whenitcame,madetheother
occupantsoftheroomfeelbrieflylikeintruders.PollywasbreathlesswhenDukelethergo.
Hechuckledhuskilyatherexpression."Worththewait,wasn'tit,pumpkin?"heasked."Gladtosee
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333
me?God,I'mgladtoseeyou!Youlookmorebeautifuleveryyear."
"Youflatterer,"Pollyfaltered."Youalwaysdidhavethedevil'sowncharm."
"Doesn'thelookgreat?"Annaaskedhermother.
"Yes,hedoes,"Pollyhadtoadmit.Hewastannedandslender,nobeerbellyorexcessweight.She
avertedhereyestoAnna."Butyoudon't.Howareyou,darling?"
"Better,"Annasaiddoggedly."WhencanIcomehome?"
"Yourdoctorsaidtomorrow,ifyoufeellikeit,"Pollysaid,beaming."You'llhavetotakeiteasy,of
course,andtheydowantyoutohavesomecounseling,"sheadded.
"WecantalkaboutthatwhenIgethome,"Annareplied."Ireallydon'tfeelthattraumatized."
"Yousavethatforwhenyou'reasleep,"Evansaidquietly."You'vebeenhavingnightmares.Painful
ones,judgingbythewayyouthrasharound."
"He'sright,"Pollyagreed."Maybethetraumaisburiedinyoursubconscious,butit'sstillthere."
Annagrimaced."IfI'donlystayedinthecarlikeRandalltoldmeto,"shesighed."Speakingof
Randall,hasanyoneseenhimtoday?"
"Hephoned,"Pollysaid."Buthe'sgotexamsandhecan'tcometoseeyou.Heaskedifyouneeded
anything."
"Whatalovingfiancee,"Evansaidwithbittermockery,hisdarkeyesnarrowandcruel.
"Youstopthat,"Annamuttered."Examsareveryimportanttohim."
"Moreimportantthanyouare,obviously,"heshotback.
Sheglaredathim."Mypersonallifeisnoneofyourbusiness!"
"Itis,whenyoudostupidthingslikeagreeingtomarryfools!"
"Now,now,"Pollychided,gettingbetweenthem."Annaneedsrest.Sodoyou,Evan.Youhaven't
sleptmorethananhourortwosincethedayafterithappened."
"Goodsuggestion,"Dukeseconded.HeclappedEvanontheshoulder."Thanksforthecoffee."
Evanwasreluctanttoleave,buthewasfeelingthestrain.HeglancedatAnna,grimacedandlet
himselfbepersuadedoutthedoorbyDuke.
Pollysmiledatherdaughter."He'sveryantagonisticaboutRandall,I'mafraid,"shemused."He'ssaid
somethingsIwon'tevenrepeattoyou."
"Randallisnoneofhisbusiness,"shesaiddoggedly.
"Hewon'tbelievethat.He'sverypossessive,isn'the?"sheaskedwithatwinkleinhereyes."He
hasn'tleftyousincetheybroughtyouin,excepttosleep."
Sheknewthat.Itwarmedher,somehow.Randall'sbehaviorwasunexpected.Hehadcompassion,
andsheknewhecaredabouther,buthewasdeliberatelystayingaway.Shecouldn'thelpbutwonder
why.
"EvanknowshowIfeel,"shetoldPolly."Do
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EVAN
youthinkit'ssomegamehe'splaying,tryingtoturnmeagainstRandall?Orisitacaseofdoginthe
manger?"Shesighedmiserably."Oh,Mama,hejustfeelssorryforme,that'sallitis.OnceI'mwell,
he'lltakeofflikearocket,youwaitandsee."
"Evanisdeep,"Pollysaid."Letthefuturetakecareofitself.Rightnow,youconcentrateongetting
well."
"Allright.It'snicetohavePapahome,isn'tit?"
Pollysighedwithmorefeelingthansherealized."Oh,yes.Itis,indeed."
Annadidn'tsayanotherword,butshesmiled.SherefusedtoletherselfthinkaboutEvan'sodd
behaviorandthehungrywayhe'dkissedher.Perhapsheenjoyedthefeelingofpoweritgavehimto
knowthatshecaredsodeeplyforhim.Abouthisownfeelings,he'dsaidnothing.Forallsheknew,he
couldbeplanningtomarryNina.Shedidn'trecognizethemanhe'dbecomelately.Ofcourse,she
thoughtdazedly,he'dnevertreatedherlikeawomanuntilveryrecently.Amanwasonewaywith
friendsandfamily,butatotallydifferentwaywithawomanhedesired.Sheflushedremembering
howhelplesslyhewantedher.
Coulditbejustdesiredrivinghim?Sheknewmencouldfoolthemselvesabouttheiremotionswhen
theirglandswereinvolved.Shedidn'tdaretrustanythingEvansaidordidrightnow,whileshewas
flatonherback.Ifitwasonlypity,orevenonlydesire,shecouldn'triskbreakingherheartonhim
again.
ChapterEight
RandallcametoseeAnnaanhourlater,lookingremorsefulandquiet.
"Ihopeyou'rebetter,"hesaid,sittingdownbesideher.Hesearchedherbruisedfaceandgrimaced.
"Ifeelterribleaboutwhathappened."
"Iknow.Butitreallywasn'tyourfault,"shesaidgently."Igotoutofthecar."
"Why?"
Shetoldhim,ruefully,andhejustshookhishead.
"Howdidexamsgo?"
"Well,Ihope,"hesaid,smilingjustfaintlyashelookedather."Myheartwasn'tinit.Iwasworried
aboutyou."
"I'llbeallright,"sheassuredhim.
Hecrossedhislegsandleanedback."IseethatEvan'sverymuchinresidence."
Sheflushedalittleandavertedhereyes."Yes."
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Hesmiled."Don'tbeembarrassed.I'vealwaysknownhowyoufeltabouthim.Thisengagementof
oursisn'tgoingtowork,Anna.Youcan'tmarrymewhenyou'reinlovewithsomeoneelse."
Hereyesweresadastheymethis."Iguessnot."
"Wewerefriends,"heremindedher."Ilikethegirlyouwere-theimpulsive,happy,bubblinggirl
whoplayedjokesandneverstoppedlaughing.Idon'tlikethemiddle-agedwomanI'vemadeyou
into."
"But,Randall,youhaven't!"sheprotested.
Heheldupahand,silencingher."ProbablysomeofitwasbecauseofEvan,butbeingengagedto
mehasn'timprovedyou.Iwantyoutobehappyagain.Iwantustobefriendsagain."Hegrimaced."I
don'tknowthatI'mreadytosettledownyet.Evanwasright.IfI'dcaredenough,Icouldn'thavegone
outwithanyoneexceptyou.Andifyoucaredenough,you'dhavebeenfurious."
Shecouldn'targue,becausehewasright.Shesatupagainstthepillows,drawingherkneesupsothat
shecouldrestherhandsonthem."Yes."
"Besides,"hesaidwithanamusedsmile,"EvanjustgotthroughtellingmeIcouldn'thaveyou."
Hereyesflashed."Hehasnoright...!"
"I'mafraidhethinkshedoes,"Randallmused."Youcanarguethepointwithhim."
"Hejustfeelssorryforme,"shesaidheavily,staringatherslenderhands."OnceI'mbackonmy
feetagain,he'llbelyingawakenightstryingtothinkofwaystodiscourageme,justthewayheused
to."
Randalldidn'tthinkso,buthedidn'targuewithher.
"I'msorryaboutmybeautifulengagementring,"shesaid.
"Itwasinsured,"hesaideasily."I'monlysorryaboutthewayyoulostit.Poorlittlething."
"I'mnotlittle,andI'mgettingstrongereveryday.WhenI'mwell,I'msigningupforkarate,"she
saidangrily."I'lllearntopulverizemuggers."
"That'sagoodidea,"heagreed."Self-defenseshouldbepartofeverywoman'srepertoire."
Theytalkedforalongtime,andwhenRandallleft,promisingtokeepintouch,itwasifaweighthad
beenliftedfromherhead.Theengagementhadbeenamistake,butshecouldn'tregretit.Randallhad
savedherprideafterEvan'sviciousrejection.
Evanhadgonehometochangehisclothes,simmeringwithfurybecausehe'dencounteredRandallin
thecorridor.He'dsentthemanoffwithacoldwarning,butitmightbetoolittletoolate.Hewassure
thatAnnalovedhim,buthe'dtreatedherprettybadly.ShemightverywellmarryRandalloutof
desperation.Hehadtostopher,buthow?
Hecould,ofcourse,marryherhimself.Hisfacewentblankasheconsideredthatpossibilityforthe
firsttime.Marriagehadneverbeenoneofhispersonalpriorities,buthewascrazyaboutAnnaandhe
wantedher.Theycouldhavechildren.Hedrewinaslowbreath.Thethoughtappealedtohim.Anna,
children,ahomeofhisown.Annainhisbed...Hisheartbegantothunderinhischestasheconsidered
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marriageandfoundthatitwasn'ttheterrorhe'doncethought.Hisfearofhurtingherwouldbean
obstacle,ofcourse,aswouldherfearofbigmen.Butintime,theycouldworkthatout.Ifshe'dhave
himnow.
Hegroanedinwardlyathisownstupidityinturningawayfromher.Shedidn'ttrusthimbecause
he'dhurthersobadly,rejectedhernotonlyfiercelybutinpublic.Hemusthavesavagedherpride.
Aftertheirargumentthenightbefore,hewasn'tsurehecouldevengetintoherroomwithouta
struggle.ShemightrushrightintoRandall'sarmsforprotection.Thethoughtmadehimmiserableall
thewaybacktoJacobsville.
"Howisshe?"HardenaskedalmostassoonasEvangotinthedooroftheTremaynehouse.
BecauseofEvan'sabsence,andthatofJoAnneandDonald,HardenandMirandawerestayingwith
Theodoratohelpwithranchbusiness.
"Better,"Evansaidtersely,tossinghishatonthehalltable."HerfianceeshowedupjustasIleft."
Hardenliftedaneyebrow."Ithoughtyouapprovedofherengagement."
"SodidI."
Hestaredattheoldermanquietly,hisblueeyesseeingthelinesinEvan'sface,thetautness."You.
looklikehell."
"It'sbeentouchandgoforawhile.She'sonlyjustbeginningtopickup.Howarethingshere?"
"We'rehandlingthemjustfine.Iassumeyou'regoingback?"
"I'llhaveto,"Evansaidcurtly,hisdarkeyes
stormy,"orshemayletherselfbetalkedintoahospitalweddingbythatpill-pushingwimp."
Hardenhadtobitebackagrin."He'snotbad."
"Notwhenhe'sahundredmilesawayfromAnna,"Evanagreed.
Harden'sblueeyessearchedtheotherman'sface."Yousaidthatshewastooyoung.Thatyoudidn't
wanther.ButIdon'tthinkyourealizehowyou'vechangedsinceAnnahasn'tbeenaround."Heshook
hisheadslowly."HonesttoGod,Ihardlyknowyouthesedays."
"Annasaidthat,"headmitted.Hejammedhisbighandsintohispocketswitharoughcurse."She'll
beevenmorefragileafterwhat'shappenedtoher,andIdon'tknowhowI'mgoingtohandlemyown
doubts.ButleavinghertothemerciesofyoungDr.Randallisn'tsomethingIcanlivewith.I'mnot
perfect,butshe'dbebetteroffwithme.AtleastIwon'tdriveheraroundstrangecitiesatnighthunting
muggers."
Hardenhadtobitebacklaughteratthedisgustinthatdeepvoice."Ithoughtyouwereafraidof
yourownstrength."
Evangazedathimevenly."Iwas.Iam.Idon'tknowhowI'llhandlethat,either."Hisbigshoulders
lifted."Shemakesmeshakelikeaboy.GodknowsI'llprobablysendherrunningwhenthingsheat
up,butIcan'tpushherawayagain.Notnow."
"YoumayunderestimateAnna'sfeelings,"Hardenremindedhim."AndAnna'snoshrinkingviolet.
Ifshelovesyou,everythingwillbeallright."
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"Shelovesme,allright,"Evansaidquietly."That'stheonlythingI'mstillsureof.ButshethinksI
justfeelsorryforher,andRandall'shandy."Helookedup."Itoldhimhecouldn'thaveher."
Hardensmiled."Goodforyou.ButhaveyoutoldAnna?"
"Iwill."Hemovedintothelivingroomandwenttospeaktohismotherbeforehecaughtupon
businessandstartedbacktoHouston.
ItwasalmostdarkwhenEvanreturnedtoAnna'shospitalroom.She'dbeensurehewasn'tcoming
back,butsurprisingly,heshowedupwithahugewhiteteddybearunderonearm.Heslungitbeside
heronthebed,hisdarkeyesaccusing.
"What...!"Annaexclaimed,hereyesbeamingassheliftedtheenormous,softbear.She'dbeenready
forafight,buthe'dstolenherthunder.Thebearwasbeautiful,andittouchedherthathe'dcaredeven
enoughtobringherapresent.
"Hisname'sHubert,"hetoldherirritably."Youcanbeengagedtohim."
Shelaughed,cuddlingthebearbesideher."He'sbeautiful,"shesaidshyly,knowingthatshe'dtreasure
itfortherestofherlife."Thankyou."
Heshrugged.Hiseyesnarrowed."WhatdidRandallwant?"
Hereyebrowsjerkedup."ToseehowIwas,ofcourse."
"Didyoubreaktheengagement?"hepersisted.
"No,Ididnot,"sheshotathim.Thatwastrue.
Randallhadbrokenit,butherpridewouldn'tlethertellEvan.
Hemovedtohersideandbentoverher,hisdarkfacethreateningashisgazefelltohermouth."What
wasthat?"
Theclosenessmadeherdizzy.Hewaswearingayellowknitshirtwithtight-fittingjeans.Hewas
enormous,leanandmuscularandhesmeltedofexpensivecologne.Hisheadwasbare,darkbrown
hairneatlycombed,hisfacefreshlyshaven.Hewassosensuousthathermouthachedforhis,butshe
wasn'tabouttobetakeninasecondtime.
"Myengagementisnoneofyourbusiness,"shesaidstubbornly.Hewastooclose.Sheclutchedthe
bearforprotection,knowingalltoowellthathecouldtouchherandknockeveryoneofherbarriers
spinning.Heprobablyknewit.Shewastoogreentohidetheeffecthehadonher.
"SupposeImakeitmybusiness?"heaskedquietly,holdingHergaze."SupposeItellyouthatI'm
jealousashellandIdon'twantanotherman'shandsonyou?"
Herheartranaway,butshewasn'tgoingtobetakenin."I'vebeenhurtandyoufeelsorryforme,"she
saidshortly."Youdon'thavetothrowoutyourarmsandprofessloveeternaljustbecauseIgot
mugged,Evan."
Hisfacecoloredangrily."Itisn'tpity."
"Whatelsecouldyoueverfeelforme?"sheaskedbitterly.
Hedrewinhisbreathsharplyandstoodup,his
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handsjammeddeepinhispockets.He'dbeenlivingonhisnervesfortoolong,hesupposed,because
herharshquestionmadehimsickinside.Hisself-confidencetookanosedive.Apparentlyshe'd
decidednottobelieveanythinghetoldherfromnowon.Howcouldheconvinceherthathe'dhada
sincerechangeofheartaboutherplaceinhislife?
"That'sright,"shemuttereddarkly,"standthereandglareatme.Atleastthatwouldbehonest."
"What'sgottenintoyou?"heaskedflatly.
"I'veseenthelight,dearman,"shereturned."MaybeI'veevengrownupalittleaswell.I'vejust
goneoffheroworship,Evan."
Hishandsclenchedinhispockets,buthisfacegavenothingaway."Isthatallitwas?"
"I'mnineteen,"sheremindedhim."Tooyoungforundyingloveandcommitment,isn'tthatwhat
youthought?"
Hisfacetautenedwithstrain."Itwasn'tjustyourage."
"Thenwhatwasit?"
"Louisa,"hesaidquietly.
Sherememberedwhathe'dtoldherabouttheotherwomanandherfacesoftened.Shecouldonly
imaginethescarsthattheexperiencehadleftonhim.Hereyesfelltothebearandshestrokedthesoft
fakefurgently.
"Ifshe'dreallylovedyou,Evan,nothingwouldhavefrightenedher,"shesaid,hervoicesubdued.
"Areyousure?"
Hesoundedmocking,cynical.Sheglancedathim,
hereyesfaintlyadoring.Helookedsotired."Iwouldhavebeengladtoproveittoyou,once,"she
said.
Hiseyesflashedinafacelikestone."Thinkso?"heaskedonahardlaugh."Youdon'tevenknow
whatit'sallabout.Thewayyoureacttome,IdoubtifRandall'severmadeyoufeeldesire."
Denyingthatwasbeyondher.Herfingernailscurledabsentlyintothebear."Nobodyeverdid,until
thatdayinthegallery,"sheconfessed.
Hisbreathcaughtaudibly,andhisteethgroundtogether."Ilieawakeatnight,rememberinghowyour
handsfeltonme,"hesaidhuskily.
Shecouldhavesaidthesamethingtohim.Itwouldhavebeenaperfectmemory,exceptforwhat
cameafterward.ThelightwentoutofhereyesassherememberedNina.
"Mine,orNina's?"sheaskeddully.
Hemovedclosertothebed,leaningoverherwithonebighandrestingbesideherheadonthethick
pillow."I'mnotsleepingwithNina,"hesaid,almostabletoreadthethoughtsastheypassedthrough
hermind.
"Ever?"sheaskedcynically.
Hiseyesfelltohersoftbodyandthentothebear."Iwon'ttalkaboutoldconqueststoyou,Anna,"he
saidfinally."Whathappenedinthepasthasnobearingonthepresent,orthefuture."
"Ninaisn'tinthepast,"shesaid,fightingnottoshowwhathisnearnesswasdoingtoherpulse.
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"You'vemadesurethateverybodyknewit,too,notjustme."
Hisgazepinnedhersandhelookedfaintlythreatening."I'vebeenrunningfromyouforalong
time,"hesaidshortly."Itgottobeahabit,butjustlately,Ilookatyouandgetsodamnedarousedthat
Icanhardlyfunction.Keepingawayfromyouwastheonlythingthatsavedyou."
Hereyebrowsarched."You'renotkeepingawaynow,"shebegan.
"You'reflatonyourbackinbed,"hesaidsimply."I'mnothreattoyounow."
"Oh.Isee,"shesaiddully.
"Youseenothing!"heraged."MyGod,ablindwoman...!"
"Iknowyouwantme,"sheburstout."Itwouldbehardtomiss.ButIwantmorethanfivefeverish
minutesinbedwithyou,Evan!"
"Fiveminutes?"heaskedsuggestively."Isthathowlongyouthinkittakes?"
Oneofherschoolfriendshadintimatedasmuch.Actually,shedidn'tknowhowlongittook,and
shedidn'twanthimtoknowthat.
Sheavertedhereyes."Nevermind."
Hecaughtherchinandtiltedherfaceuptohisdark,sensuouseyes."InfiveminutesIcouldsatisfy
myself,"hesaidsoftly."ButI'dneedanothertwentytosatisfyyouaswell."
ThecolorcameintohercheeksdespiteallherfranticeffortstostopitSheswallowed."That'snot
fair."
HedrewinaslowbreathashetriedtoimagineAnnainpassion.Hedrewhisthumbgentlyoverher
cheek."No,"heagreed."Itisn't.Anna...Iwishyouknewmoreaboutmen,"headdedheavily."I
wouldn'thaveyouexperienced,butitwouldmakethingseasier."
"YouthinkI'llbeafraidofyou,"shereplied."Evan,Ithinkeverywomanissecretlyafraidofthe
firsttime.It'slikesteppingintotheunknown,andallthereadingintheworlddoesn'treallyprepare
youforit.Butyou'veblownthatnaturalfearupinyourminduntilit'scompletelyoutofproportion."
"HaveI?"Hiseyesgrewhard."Youdon'tknowhowitwasformethatnight,"hesaidroughly."You
don'tknowwhatshesaid...!"
Hisanguishmadehersad.Shecaughtthebig,leanhandlyingbesideheronthebedanddrewitgently
toherbreast,catchingherbreathasshefeltitswarmweight.Hejerkedback,caughtoffguard,but
sheheldhishandthere,cradlingitwithbothofhers.
"Whatareyoudoing?"heaskedhuskily.
"LettingyoufeelhowfrightenedIam,"shewhispered,andpressedtheheelofhishandagainstthe
furiousthrobofherheart.
Hislipspartedashestruggledtobreathenormally.Helookeddownathishandandbegantomoveit,
verygently,againstherbreastthroughthethinfabricofthehospitalgown.Thenipplewenthardat
onceandshedrewinherbreathasshefeltitsinstantresponsetotheslowcaressofhisbigthumb.
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"Youreallyareabiggirl,"hewhisperedsensuously.
*'Do...youmind?"
"Youfillmyhands,"hesaidsoftly.Heleanedcloser,hisbreathonherlips."Wouldyouliketofill
mymouth,too?"
Herfingersbitintohisbroadshoulders."Yes!"
Hefelthisbodytighten,andhisbreathalmoststrangledhim.Hismouthbrushedsoftlyoverhers,
feelingitsexquisiteresponsewhilehishandsuddenlytightenedonherbreastandswallowedit.His
freehandwentunderhernapetoarchherthroat,andhismouthopenedonhersinakissthatwas
almostastatementofintent.
Hetorehismouthawaysecondslaterandstoodup,visiblyshudderingwithfrustrateddesire,his
facedarkwithit,hiseyesglitteringwithit.
Annastaredathimhungrily,withoutfear,helplesslypleasedattheevidenceofhisdesireforher.
"YoucanseehowterrifiedofyouIam,can'tyou?"shewhisperedunsteadily.Herhandsblatantly
drewthegowntautaroundherbreastssothathecouldseetheirhardtips.
Hehadtoswallowbeforehecouldevenspeak.Hisfacewasrigidashelookedatherbody."You
don'tunderstand,"hesaidshortly."There'smoretoitthanthis."
Shemovedherhandsbesideherheadandsighedasshelookedupathim."ButI'llneverknow,will
I,becauseyou'reafraidtomakelovetomecompletely."
Helaughedharshly,movingawayfromhertodragacigaretteoutofhispocketandlightit.He
fumbled,becausehishandswereshakingsobadly."Thisishardlythetimeorplace."
"Randallwantstomarryme,"shelied,becauseshehadn'ttoldhimyetthattheirengagementwas
off."He'snotafraidtobeintimatewithme!"
Hewhirled,hiseyesfrightening.
Shemethisfuriousgazeevenly."Ithoughtitwaswhatyouwanted,tohavemeoutofyourhairfor
good."
"SodidI,"hereturnedcurtly.
"Thenyoushouldn'tmindifIgetmarriedandhavechildren."
Hisjawwenttaut."Randallistheworstmistakeyou'veevermade,"hesaid."Hewon'tmakeyou
happy.Everytimeyouturnaround,he'llbeoutwithsomeotherwoman."
"Atleasthewon'tbeabletohurtme."
Hetookalongdrawfromthecigarette."Youdon'tlovehim.Youloveme."
"Isn'tthatjustalittleconceited?"sheaskedirritably.
"Probably,butit'strue,"hesaidquietly.Helookedatherhungrily."Idon'tknowhowI'mgoingto
cope,Anna.ButIcan'tletyoumarryRandall,feelingthewayyoudoaboutme."
"Youdon'twantties,"shecountered."Youdon'twantmarriageorchildren."
"Howdoyouknow?"
"Becauseyou'vesaidso,timeandtimeagain!"
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shecried,exasperated.Shelaybackheavilyagainstthepillows."Nina'sjustyourstyle.Good
companyandnobrokenheartafterward."
"Sheisn't,"hesaidsurprisingly."Goodcompany,Imean.Allshewantsistogotobedwithme."
"Thatmustbeanovelty."
Hepursedhislips,notoffended."Notreally.Youwanttogotobedwithme,too."
Sheglaredathim,butshedidn'tdenyit.
Hesighedwistfullyandsmiledather."You'renotfragile,"hesaid,thinkingaloud."AndifIwork
atit,maybeIcandosomethingaboutmyinhibitions.Godknows,Iwantyou,"hesaidhuskily,his
eyesrevealinghisdesire."AndI'mthirty-four,plentyoldenoughtobethinkingofsettlingdown."
Herheartjumped.Hesoundedserious."WhataboutNina?"
"Whatabouther?"heaskedflatly."That'sover.Finished.SoisRandall,"headded,histone
commanding."Youaren'tgoingtomarryhim."
"Havingfunarrangingmylifeforme?"sheaskedbreathlessly.
"IsthatwhatI'mdoing?"hemused.Hefinishedthecigaretteandputitout.Hepausedbesidethebed
andlookeddownatherquietly."Tellmeyoudon'twantme,Anna."
Shetried.Shereallydid,butthewordswouldn'tcome.Sheloweredhergaze.
Hebentandbrushedatenderkissagainstherforehead."I'llcomeandgetyouinthemorningand
driveyouhome.Pollysaiditwasallright.Shehasanearly-morningappointmentandIvolunteered."
"Evan..."
Hebrushedbackherdisheveledhair."What?"
Hereyeswerefullofdoubts,fears,insecurities."Pleasedon'tplaywithme,"shewhispered."Don't
sayanythingyoudon'treallymean,justbecauseIgothurtandyoufeelsorryforme."
"Idon'tblameyouforthatlackoftrust,littleone,"hereplied."Trynottobroodtoomuch.I
promiseyou,thisisnogame.Itisn'tpity,orguilt.Allright?"
Shesighed."Allright."
"Goodgirl."Hewinkedlazilyather."I'llseeyoutomorrow."
Evanleft,andashewalkedoutofthehospital,heseemedtorelivethepastfewdayswithavengeance.
Itwasallcatchingupwithhim.He'dbeenlivingonnervousenergysincehe'dwalkedintothehospital
withHarden.Onlytodaywasherestedenoughtoconsiderthepotentialconsequencesofwhathad
happenedtoAnna,torealizehowclosetodeathshe'dreallycome.Andherlastmemoryofhim
wouldhavebeenpainful,wounded.Hiseyesclosedandhegroanedsoftly.ThankGodithadworked
outlikethis.Hehadasecondchance.Nowhehadtomakesurehedidn'tblowit,evenifitmeant
comingtogripswithalifelongfearofhisownstrengthandsize.
ThenextmorningtheywheeledherouttoEvan'scarinawheelchair,andheliftedherfromitscon-
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fines,placinghergentlyinthepassengerseat.Itwasthefirsttimehe'devercarriedher,andthe
sensationwasodd,pleasant.
"You'reterriblystrong,"shesaidbreathlessly.
Hisjawtautened."Iknow."
Heputherdownandshelookedintohiseyes."Ilikeit,Evan,"shewhisperedsoftly,toreassurehim.
Hisfacechanged.Heseemeddisconcerted.Hefastenedherseatbeltandbusiedhimselfputtingher
flowersandHubertinthebackseatandsayinggoodbyetothenurseswho'daccompaniedthem.
TheywereonthewayhomebeforehespoketoAnnaagain.Hewassmokinglikeafurnace,
somethingshecouldhardlymiss.
"Youneverusedtosmoke,"sheremarked.
"I'vebeenlivingonmynervesforseveraldays,"herepliedwithoutlookingather."Whenyou're
backonyourfeet,I'llquit."
"I'msorryyou'vebeenworriedaboutme."
Hesmiled."Itisn'tjustworrythat'sdonethistome,Anna,"hesaidbluntly."It'sbeingnearyou."
Shedidn'tknowquitehowtoanswerthat,soshedidn'tsayanything.Shejuststaredathim,drinking
intheperfectionofhisprofile.
Heglancedatherandthenbackattheroad."Haven'tyoueverwonderedwhyIwenttosuchlengthsto
avoidyou?EventothepointofdraggingNinaeverywhere,likeashield?"
"Ithoughtyouweredrivinghomethepointthatyoudidn'twantmechasingyou,"shesaidmatter-
of-factly.
"Nothingquitesosimple."Heputoutthecigarette."Ihadtokeepyoufromgettingtooclose."
"Itworked,didn'tit?"sheaskeddully."Igotengagedtoanotherman...."
"AndIhatedit,"hesaidshortly,glaringather."ThethoughtofRandalltouchingyouthewayIhad
madememurderous.He'sdamnedluckyIdidn'thunthimdownandkillhim,especiallyafterhelet
yougethurt."
"Hedidn't..."
"Ifithadbeenme,youwouldn'thavebeeninthecarinthefirstplace,"hesaidshortly."Orifyou
were,Iwouldn'thaveletyououtofmysight.Butthen,IknowyoubetterthanRandalldoes.Iwould
haveanticipatedhoweasilyyoumightbetemptedtoleavethecar."
Sheknewthat,andithurt.Sheavertedhereyestothelandscape,watchingitflypastthewindow.
"Talkaboutit."
Sheshrugged."Thereisn'tmuchtotell.Hewasverybigandscary,andevenwhileIwasfightinghim,
IknewIcouldn'tstophim.ButIthoughtitwasmehewantedandnotthejewelry."
"Hemighthave,"hesaidcurtly."ButRandalldidcomealongintimetopreventthat,thankGod."
"Yes."
"Ithoughtyoumightbeafraidofmeatfirst,"hesaidoutoftheblue."ThedoctorsaidthatIwas
apparentlyaboutthesamesizeasthemanwhoattackedyou."
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Shelookedathimwryly."AsifIcouldeverbeafraidofyou,"shesaidwithresignation.
HethankedGodforthat.Heglancedather."AboutRandall..."
"Webroketheengagementyesterday,Evan,"sheadmittedfinally."HesaidthatI'dchangedsince
we'dbeengoingtogether,andhewantedmetobehappyagain.Heknewitwouldn'tworkout."
"Wiseman,"hesaid,morerelievedthanhecouldbelieve."Ididn'tthinkhe'dnoticedthedifference
inyou.Ihad,"headdeddarkly."ButIstillthoughtwhatIwasdoingwasinyourownbestinterest.
Thenyougothurt,andIrealizedhowemptymylifehadbeenwithoutyouinit.HardensaidI'd
changed,too."Heglancedatherhopefulexpression."IguessIhad.Hurtingyougavemeno
pleasure."
Shestaredoutthewindow."I'dhoundedyouprettybadly.Ifeltguiltyaboutthat."
"Hell,Ilovedit,"hesaidhuskily."ItwasmyownhangupsIwasfighting.Whenyoustopped
lookingforme,IthinkIstoppedliving."
Shesmiledgently."I'mglad."
"Yes.Butwe'renotoverthehurdlesyet,littleone,"hesaidgrimly."Infact,we'vehardlyfaced
them."
"Butwewill,"shesaid.
Hereachedoverandtouchedherhandlightly."Dowehaveachoice?"heaskedheavily.
Hedidn'tsoundterriblypleased,andsheworriedatthestrainedlookonhisface.
"Louisascarredyou,didn'tshe?"sheaskedunexpectedly.
Hehesitated."Isupposeso,"hesaidheavily."OneofthethingsIvividlyrememberhersayingis
thatawomanwouldhavetobesuicidaltotakemeoninbed."Hisjawtautenedashetoldher.He'd
nevertoldanyoneelse,notevenHarden.
Annasearchedhisrigidface."Surelyyou've...beenwithotherwomen?"
"Withexperiencedwomen,"hecorrectedcurtly.
"Butyoustillthinkyou'llscaremetodeath?"
Hestaredstraightahead."MaybeIwasafraidtotakethechance."Heglancedatherandhiseyes
softened."You'reveryyoung,Anna.You'vebeensheltered.Moresothanmostwomen."
"That'strue."Shesmiledgently."Butwhenyoutouchme,doesitshow?"
Hisheartbeatheavilyasherecalledhowithadbeenwhenheputhishandsonher,andhisbreath
drewinsharply.
"Itdoesn't,doesit,Evan?"sheaskedquietly,watchinghim."Infact,Iseemedtoshockyouinthe
gallery,whenyouopenedyourshirtandtaughtmehowtoexciteyou."
"ForGod'ssake!"hegroaned,andhishandsgrippedthesteeringwheelsohardthattheyturned
whiteasherememberedherardent,headlongresponse.
"Beinginnocentdoesn'tmakemetotallyhopeless,"shesaid,asshesatbackagainsttheseat.He
didn'tloveher,buthewantedherjustshortofmad-
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ness.Shefeltreborn,wholeagain.Sheshiveredinsidejustthinkingwhatitwouldbeliketoseduce
Evan,tolieinhisarmsandlethimloveher.
Atthesametimeshethoughtoftheconsequences,andthesmilefaded.Shebitherlowerliphard.
Shecouldn'thaveanaffairwithhim.Sureastheworld,she'dgetpregnant.
Shedidn'trealizeshe'dsaiditalouduntilthecarjerkedsidewaysandsheheardEvancurse.
"What?"sheaskeddazedly.
"Unlessyouwanttoendupinaditch,couldyoupleasestoptalkingaboutbabies?"heaskedshortly.
Thatcouldmeanhewantedthem,orthathedidn't.Shewasafraidtoaskwhich.Shestartedtalking
abouttheweatherinstead,delightedthathepickeduponitandbegantorelaxwithher.
Shecouldn'tknow,andhewasn'tgoingtotellher,thatthethoughtofachildmadehimgorigid
withakindofdesirehe'dneverfeltbefore.Hehadn'tallowedhimselftothinkaboutchildrenfor
years,becauseitwasonlyAnnawhomadehimwantthem.Butnowhewonderedhowshe'dlookwith
herbellyswollen,herfaceradiant,hereyesfullofdreams.Hewantedherinwaysshedidn'trealize,
tocomehometoafterahardday'swork,totalktoabouthisdreamsandfears,toholdinthedarkness
whenhefeltalone.Hewantedhersobadlythathisbodysuddenlywentrigidwiththeforceofit,and
hedidn'twanthertosee,toknowhowvulnerablehe'dbecome.Firsthehadtobesurethathecould
overcomehishangups.Ifhecouldn't,theymightnothaveafuture.
Theweatherwasthebestdiversionofall,becausehecouldconcentrateonitandhisbodywould
relax.HefocusedonitallthewaybacktoJacobsville,refusingtoallowhimselftoeventhinkabout
Annainmaternityclothes.
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ChapterNine
Lori,thesmall,grayinghousekeeper,waswaitingforthematthefrontdoorwhentheypulledup.
Evanhadforgottenthehousekeeper,buthewasgratefulthatshewasinresidence.Hehadn'tlikedthe
ideaofleavingAnnaalone,andbeingaroundhertestedhisself-controltothelimits.Onlyher
conditionkepthimfromgoingrightovertheedge,anditwasn't-asshethought-guiltandpitythat
drovehim.Hewantedherdesperately,ineverywaytherewas.
Heliftedhergentlyandcarriedherintothehouse,followingLoridownthehalltothebedroom.
"Lord,it'ssogoodtohaveyouhome!"sheenthused,smilingatAnna."We'veallbeensoworried.
AndtohaveMr.DukehomeagainandMissPollyfussingoverhim..."
"I'mgladtobeback,"Annaagreed.ShewastryingtohidewhatitwasdoingtohertohaveEvan
holdandcarryher.Shecouldfeeltheheavythumpofhisheartbeatagainstherbreasts,wherethey
pressedintohischest,andsheknewfromthehardnessofhisfacethatthefeelofhersoftbreastswas
arousinghim.Shewasshiveringbythetimehegotintoherbedroom,andgratefulforLori's
presence.
"Thatremindsme,I'vegottogettothestore,"Lorisaidsuddenly.
"No!"twovoicesechoed.
EvanandAnnastaredateachother,bothfaintlyflushed,beforetheyburstintolaughter.
Loristaredatthem."Mygoodness,whatwasthatallabout?"sheaskedabsently,frowningbecauseher
mindwasalreadyonwhatsheneededatthestore."Ifyou'llstaywithherjustafewminutes,whileI
rundowntothesupermarket,Mr.Evan?"Loriasked.
"I'llstay,"hesaidwithresignationashelaidAnnagentlyonthefloralcoverofhercanopiedbed.
"I'llberightback!"Lorigrinned."Anythingspecialyouwant,MissAnna?"
"Fish,"Annasaid."Andcheesecrackersandtomatojuice."
"I'llfetchthem.Iwon'tbelong."Shepulledthebedroomdoorshut,makingeverythingmuchworse,
andsecondslaterthebackdoorclosed.ThentheyheardLoristartPolly'scaranddriveoff.
EvanlookeddownatAnnaassheraiseduponherelbows,herblondhairaroundherfaceinbeautiful
silkyswirls,herblueeyeswideandsoft.
He'dlefthisStetsoninthecar.Hisheadwasbare.
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Hewaswearingablue-printedWesternshirtwithjeansandboots.Theshirtwastautacrossthe
musclesofhisbroadchest,andshewatcheditriseandfallwiththeroughunsteadinessofhis
breathing.
Hereyesslidfurtherdown,tohisbeltandtheunmistakablebulgebelowit.Sheflushedalittleas
hereyessliddownthepowerful,muscledlengthofhislegsandbackuptohisbroadshouldersand
darklytannedfaceandglitterydarkeyes.
Hisowngazehadgonetoherlegsandslowlyuptothehard-nippledthrustofherbreastsunderthe
thindress.Itlingeredtherewhilehisfacegrewvisiblytauterandpalerwiththestrainofstaying
wherehewas.
"You'rearoused,"hesaidhuskily.
"Soareyou,"sherepliedbreathlessly.
"Ihaven'tbeenanyotherwaysinceyougrewup,"hesaidsurprisingly."Itamazesmethatyou
nevernoticed."
"Inoticedthatyouavoidedme."
Henodded.
Shegnawedatherlowerlip,herheartshakingher."Whathappensnow?"shewhispered.
"WepraythatLorihurriesback,"hesaidwithicyhumor."BeforeIdowhatwebothwant."
Herbreathcameoutinjerkylittlespurts.Sheslowlylaybackonthebed,onthefloralpillowsham,
herarmsbesideherhead,herbodysoftlytrembling.
Hewastremblingaswell,hisbodyinanguish.Butheknewalltoovividlywhathewasgoingtodo
ifhedaredtotouchher.Theywerebothtooaroused
alreadytobeabletostop.Ifhesomuchaskissedher,he'dtakeher.
"Evan,"shewhispered,hervoice,likethesofteyesthatmethis,questioning.Shedrewuponelong
leg,deliberatelylettingtheskirtfalltoherupperthighsothathecouldseethepale,gracefullengthof
it.
Hisbreathingbecamemoreaudible."Stopit."
"Youwantto,"shewhispered.
"Yes.Morethanyouknow.Butitcan't...happenlikethis,"hesaidharshly,anddeliberatelyturned
away.
"Why?"
Heleanedagainstthecloseddoor,hisforeheadpressingthere,thecoolnesseasingthefevershe'd
aroused."BecauseI'mdesperateforyou,"hesaidhuskily."Itcan'tbelikethat...thefirsttime."
"I...wouldn'tmind,"shewhispered,onfiretohavehimsoothetheacheinherbody.
"Youwould,"hereplied,regaininghisalmost-lostcontrol.Heturned,leaninghisbackagainstthe
doorwhilehefumbledacigaretteintohismouthandlitit.Hiseyesmethers,solemnly."Closeyour
eyesandtrytorelaxuntilitpasses."
Shelethereyelidsfall,shiveringashertautbodyrippledwithunknownsensations,desires,tensions.
Hewatchedher,delightingintheknowledgethatshefeltexactlyashedid,thatherhungercould
matchhisdespitehernaivete.IfLouisa'sreactiontohimintotalintimacyhadn'tscarredhimsomuch,
he
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wonderedifhecouldhavekepthisdistancefromAnna.
Afteraminuteortwo,shesankintothemattresswithagentlesigh,andthetensionseemedtoease
fromher.
"Better?"heaskedquietly.
"Yes."Sheturnedherheadonthepillowandlookedathim."Isitusuallylikethis?"
Heshookhisheadslowly."I'veneverexperiencedanythinghalfaspowerfulinallmylife."
Thathadtobeapointinherfavor.Shesmiledathim.Afteraminutehesmiledback.
ThedooropenedsuddenlyathisbackandhemovedjustasPollycamein.ShelaughedatEvan's
surprisedface.
"Didn'tyouhearmedriveup?"sheasked,smiling."Howareyoufeeling,darling?"
Relieved,Annaalmostsaid,becauseifEvanhaddonewhatherbodyhadbeggedfor,avery
embarrassingconfrontationcouldhaveensued.
"I'mfeelingtired,"Annasaidevasively,smilingback."Butmuchbetter.Lorirantothestore.Evan
saidhe'dstaywithme."
"Niceofyou,Evan,"Pollysaidgently.
"Yes,"herepliedevenly."Ifyou'regoingtobehomeforawhile,Ineedtogetsomeworkdone."
HesmiledatAnna."I'veletthingsgolately."
"Iwonderwhy?"Pollymused."Thankyouforbringingherhome,"sheaddedseriously.
"Noproblem."HeglancedatAnna,tryingnottoshowhowmuchhehatedleavingher,evenfora
day.
"IpromisedtohelpHardenshiftsomecattlethisafternoon,butI'llbebacktomorrow.I'vegotsome
videosyoumightliketowatch."
Shemanagedasmile."Thatwouldbenice."
"Yes,itwould,"Pollysaid."Dukewantedtotakemeouttomorrow,butIhesitated,becauseIhated
leavingAnnaalone.We'regoingfishing,"sheadded."DukeandIwanttotalk."
Annabrightened."Really?"
"Don'tgetyourhopesuptoohigh,"Pollysaid."Butcrossyourfingers."
"I'lldothatlittlething,"shepromised.
"AndI'llbaby-sit,"Evansaidwithamockingsmile.
Annahadtofightnottoblushattheimageshewasconjuringupwiththatsensuoustone,butshe
remindedherselfthatshemustn'treadtoomuchintohisinnuendoes.Hewantedher.Maybeithad
blindedhimtoreality.
"ThenI'llbuythosenewjeansIsawtoday."Pollygrinned."Evan,you'resureyoudon'tmind?"
HelookedatAnnaandhadtofightdownanotherwaveofthrobbingheat."No,"hesaidhuskily."I
don'tmind."
Annawantedtobeghimtostay,becauseherscrupleswerebeginningtogiveundertheweightofher
desire.Butwhenhecametomorrow,hemightliebesideherwhiletheywatchedtelevision,andwith
nooneinthehouse-sincetomorrowwasLori'sdayoff-anythingmighthappen.Sheknewshecould
neversaynotoEvanifhereallywantedher.But
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givingintohimwouldbeabigmistake,sherealizedsadlyasrealitypuncturedherbrightdreams.
Hissenseofhonormightevenforcehimintomarriageifhecompromisedher.Shedidn'twanta
reluctantbridegroom.Loveononesidewouldneverbeenough.
Evansmiled,buthedidn'tlookatheragain.Heleft,andPollywentbacktoherdaydreams,unaware
ofAnna'srisingfears.
Thatnightshegotuplongenoughtohavesupperwithherparents,enjoyingthewaytheytalkedto
eachotherandtoher.Shefeltpartofafamilyforthefirsttimeinyears.AndPollywasactually
radiant.Latersheexcusedherselfandwenttoliedown,leavingDukeandPollyalonetogether.When
shefellasleepafterhoursofdaydreamingaboutthedayaheadandEvan,theywerestillsittinginthe
livingroomtalking.
Evanarrivedlatethenextmorningwithtwonewlyreleasedmovies.inhishand,lookingrakishand
barelyawakeindenimandacheckedWesternshirt.Healsolookedhalfoutofhumor.
"Iwasuplatedoingbookwork,"heexplainedtoPolly,forcingasmile.Infact,he'dlainawake
worryingaboutwhathewasgoingtodoifhelostcontrolwithAnnaandscaredherhalftodeath.He
knewhisfearswereirrational,buthe'dlivedwiththemfartoolongtobeabletodismissthemnow.
Dukehadstayedthenightatthehouse,buthewasdressedandreadytoleavebeforePollyawokeand
gotdressedherself.Lorihadservedbreakfastand
goneoutwithfriendstoseeamovie.
"How'smygirl?"DukeaskedAnna,ashejoined
hiswifeanddaughterandEvaninAnna'sbedroom
whereshelay,dressedinalongredskirtandared—
and-goldpatternedblouse,stretchedoutontopofher
coverswithherlongblondhairsoftaroundherface
andherprettyfeetbare.Annakissedhistancheekwhenhebentdown.
"Doingfine.IhopeyouandMomcatchalotof
fish."
"I'llsettleforoneprettyone,"Dukemurmured
dryly,andPollyactuallyblushed.
Annasmiledatthem."Goawayandenjoyyourselves."
Theyexchangedglances,buttheydidn'targue."Don'tworryabouther,"Evantoldthemsolemnly.
"I'lltakegoodcareofher."
Hewassayingmorethanthewordsimplied,andtheyknewit.PollysawDukerelaxvisibly,andafter
abriefconversation,theyleft.
EvanwalkedthemoutandthenreturnedtoAnna'sroom,pausinginthedoorwaytolookather.She
lookeddelicious.Hisheartbegantorunwild,justatthesightofher.
"Doyoufeellikewatchingthese?"heasked,holdinguptwotapesofjust-releasedmovies.
"Yes,"shesaidhuskily,thinkinghowsweetitwouldbeifhelaydownwithheronthebedandlet
herlieagainsthim.Herfaceflamedwithdesire.
Hehadtoturnawayfromthatexpression.Hewas
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gladthehousekeeperwasaround.Ifshehadn'tbeen,hewasn'tsurehecouldmanagetokeephishands
offAnna.
"Lori'shere,isn'tshe?"heaskedtautly,tomakesure,whileheloadedthefirstmovieintotheVCR
andturnedonthetelevisionbeforehestartedit.
"Well...no,"shesaid."It'sherdayoff."
Hisjawtautened.Heactuallyshivered.
"WillithelpifIpromisenottoseduceyou?"sheaskedwithalightnessshedidn'tfeel.Herheart
wasracing.
Hefelthisbodytautenashelookedatheracrosstheroom,hiseyesfallinghelplesslytoher
blouse."Youwouldn'thaveto,don'tyouknow?"heaskedonaharshlaugh."Allyouhavetodois
touchme."
Herheartranwild.Thetruthofitwasinhisface,andallherdreamsseemedtocometrueatonce.She
heldoutherarmstohim,burningupwithneed.
Hegroaned,buthecouldn'thelphimself.Hewenttoher,feelinghercoldhandscurvearoundhis
neckashebent,easingherbackonthebed.Itwaswrong,heshouldn't.Butherbodywasyieldingand
softandexquisitelyformed,andhefelthimselfgoingrigidlongbeforehismouthloweredtoher
partedlips.
Hisbodywentdownalongsidehersonthemattress,hismouthfittingoverherswithwarm,slow
masteryastheysankbackontothequiltedcoverlet.
Itwasheaven.Annanibbledeagerlyathislips,lovingthetasteofhim,thewarmthandstrengthofhis
bodyagainsthers.Butjustashedeepenedthe
kissandhisarmstightened,shegasped,andhedrewbackinstantly.
"DidIhurtyou?"heaskedcurtly,hiseyesworried."MyGod,sometimesIhatemyownsize!"
"Youdidn'thurtme,"shesaidandloweredhereyestohishardmouth."Igohotalloverwhenyou
kissmelikethat,"shewhisperedhuskily.
Herelaxed.Hisfingerstracedhercheek."Allthatworry,wasted,"hemusedwithforcedlightness.
"DoyoureallythinkIcouldeverbeafraidofyou,Evan?"sheaskedunsteadily."Don'tyouknow
alreadythatyoucoulddoanythingtomeandI'dletyou?"
Hiseyesflashed.Hebenthungrilytoherlipsasonebigarmslidunderherandliftedheragainsthim.
Hismouthcaressedandwithdrew,brushedandlifted,ashearousedherwithmaddeningskilluntilshe
wasclingingandfollowinghislipswithherown,tryingtomakehimendthetorment.
"Whatdoyouwant?"hewhispered.
"Kissme!"shemoaned.
Histeethnibbledlazilyatherlowerlip."Isn'tthatwhatI'mdoing?"
"Doitright.Openyourmouthanddoit...!"
Hedid,atthesametimeshiftinghisbigbodysothathishipsweresquarelyoverhers,hisarousalhot
andblatantasitrestedonhersoftbelly.
Shegaspedattheintimacy.
Heliftedhismouthfromhersandlookedintohershockedeyes.Hedidn'tmoveforalongmoment,
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butthatwasn'tfearinhereyes.Hemovedsoftlyandshegrimaced.
Herealizedthenthatitwasembarrassment,notdistaste,andhesmiledgentlyasheleveredhisbody
tooneside.Shesmiledback,herfacecoloringdelicately.
Heeasedonepowerfullegbetweenbothofhersandshestiffened.
Heshookhishead."No.Thisispartoflovemaking.Iwantyoutoknoweverythingthereistoknow
aboutmybody.Youhaveto,beforewegoanyfurther."
Shehadtofightherownshyness,butafteraminutesherelentedandlethimrestagainsther.
"Don'tbeafraid,"hesaid,hisvoicedeepandsensual."I'mlettingyoulearnme,that'sall."
Sherelaxedevenmore,andastheshockofintimacyslowlyworeoff,shebegantoenjoythefeel
ofhisbody.
Heknewthatshehadnoexperiencebywhichtojudgehim.Thatrelaxedhimalittle.Therewasso
muchthatshedidn'tknow,butatleast,thankGod,therewasnoapprehensioninherface.He'dnever
beenabletomakeLouisaliewithhimlikethisatall.Infact,she'dfoundintimacywithhimalmost
distasteful.Hestillrememberedhowshecringedwhenhetouchedherbreasts,andshe'dneverliked
hismouthonthem.
HedrewhisfingersslowlyoverAnna'sbreasts,thesoundoffleshagainstfabricloudinthetense
silenceashegentlyteasedaroundthenipplethat
suddenlybecametaut.Heheldhereyesthewholetime,heardherbreathingchangeevenasshe
allowedhimthecaresswithdamninggenerosity.
Shegaspedandarchedtowardhishand,tryingtomakehimendthetormentashetouchedeverywhere
exceptagainstthehardnessthatachedforhim.
"Gently,"hewhispered."I'mgoingtodowhatyouwantmeto,butletmemakeyouburnforit
first."
Shecolored,butshedidn'tprotesthistouch.Shelaybackagainstthepillows,herfaceflushed,
waiting,trembling,ashebuiltthetormentalmosttoanguishandshemoaned.
Hisbighandtensedunderher,andheleanedcloser,hisdarkeyesfillingtheworld."Isitbad?"he
whispered.
"Yes!"Hernailsbitintohisshouldersasshelethimseethehelplessreactionofhisbodytohis
caress."Evan,please!Oh,please!"
Hedrewhisnosesoftlyagainsthers,hisbreathonhercheek,herlips,andstillhisknucklesbrushed
withmaddeningslownessjustattheveryedgeofhertautnipple.
Then,verygently,hecaughtthehardnubinhisfingertips.Shefeltarushofheatinherbelly,anda
longshudderrippledthroughher.Shecouldbarelyseehimthroughablurofanguisheddesire,her
expressiononeoftautabandonasshearchedupwardandgaspedattheunbelievablepleasure.
Evanwatchedherwithindulgenttenderness."Sohungry,"hewhispered."Icouldalmostsatisfyyou
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justbyputtingmymouthonyou,couldn'tI,littleone?"
Theintimacyofthestatementmadeherflush,butshedidn'tprotestwhenhebegantoflickopenthe
buttonsofherblousewithcarelessdeftness.
"Liestill,"hesaidwhenshetouchedhiswristinafaintprotest."Letmelookatyou."
"I'venever,"shebeganshakily,hereyesenormous.
"MyGod,don'tyouthinkIknow?"heaskedhuskily.Hiseyesflashedashepulledtheblousegently
asideandthensnappedthefrontcatchofthebra.Hedrewitawayfromherswollenbreastsandcaught
hisbreathatthebeautyofhercreamybodywithitsmauvenipples.
"I'mso...big,"shewhispered,almostapologetic.
"You'reasself-consciousaboutyoursizeasIamaboutmine,"hesaidquietly.Hetouchedher,as
lightlyasabreath,watchingherfaceasshegaveherselfuptohishands."Youpleaseme,"hesaid,his
voicedeepandexquisitelytender."Youarousemeasnootherwomaneverhas,everwill.You're
delicious,Anna,"hebreathed,bendingtowardherbreastswithunbearableslowness."Iwanttoeat
youup..."
Hismouthsettledoverthehard-tippedmoundandbegantopullatit,nibbleatit,withtender
absorption.Annacriedout.Thepleasuresheexperiencedwassooverwhelmingthattearsstungher
eyes.Sheclungtohim,hershakinghandsgraspinghisthickhair,pullinghimcloser,closer...!
Onebighandwasunderherskirt.Dimlysheregistereditsprogress,felthistouchonherslenderlegs
andthenonherflatbelly.
"Anything,"shegaspedathisear."Anythingyouwant...Evan!"
Hishandcontractedonhersoftfleshandjustforaninstant,hegaveintotheneedthatwasconsuming
him.Hismouthgrewrough,likehisinsistenthands,andAnnayieldedcompletely.Hisstrength
delightedher,hisardormadeherweakallover.Shebithisshoulderinherownoblivion,hard.
Hecaughthisbreathandjerkedup,hisfaceunfamiliarinpassion.
"I...I'msorry,"shefaltered,embarrassedattheexpressioninhiseyes."Ibityou."
"Yes."Therewassomethingunfamiliarinthewayhewaslookingather,inthesetrigidityofhisface.
Hiseyesfelltoherbody,tothefaintrednesswherehishungrymouthhadtouchedit.Heactually
shuddered.
"Ithoughtyou'dbeafraidofmelikethis,"hesaidquietly.
"Why?"shewhispered.
"Icouldhurtyou,"hegroundout.Hegrimacedatthemarkshe'dleftonherbreastHetouchedit
softly."Ididn'tmeantolosemyheadlikethis!"
Thatshecouldmakehimloseitgaveherasenseofwildelation."Itdoesn'thurt,youknow,"shesaid
withagentlesmile."Infact,Ilikedit."
"Dangerous,tosaythattome,"hesaidhuskily.
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"I'mnotantiqueglass,Evan.Iwon'tbreakifyou'realittleroughwithme."
Shemovedclosertohim,hereyessearchinghisassheslidherleggentlyagainsthisandlaidher
handflatagainsthisshirt.
"Whatdoyouwant?"heaskedsoftly,delightedandoverwhelmedbyherdesireforhim.
"CanItouchyou,here?"shewhispered.
Hehesitatedforonlyaminutebeforehegaveintotheneedforherhandsonhim.Hesnappedopen
thepearlybuttonsandtuggedtheshirttailoutofhisjeans,holdinghereyeswhilehethrewtheshirt
ontothefloor.
Sherestedherforeheadagainstthebroad,hair-roughenedexpanseofmuscleandherhandscaught
inthehair,tuggingitsensuously."Likethis?"shewhispered,wantingnothingmorethantoplease
him."Isn'tthiswhatyoulike?"
"Yes,"hesaidinachokedtone.Hishandsslidintoherhair,movingherforeheadagainsthim.
"KissmethewayIkissedyou.Here,"heemphasized,guidinghermouthtoonesideofhischest.
Shecaughtherbreath.Ithadneveroccurredtoherthatmenhadnipplesorcouldbearousedby
havingthemtouched.Thepossibilitiesmadeherdizzy.Sheslidherlipsthroughthethickhairuntil
shefoundthehardthrustofaflatmalenipple.Shenuzzleditfirstwithhernose,thenwithherlips,
thenwithherteeth.Evan'sbigbodywentrigidandshudderedwhenshetookthenippleinherteeth.
Shelovedthewayherespondedtoher.Hermouthnuzzledallover
hischestasheeasedontohisbacktogiveherthetotalfreedomofhisbody.Hiseyesclosed,hischest
rippledasshetouchedit.Herlipspulledsoftlyattheothernippleandheactuallygroaned.Amazing,
shethought,delicious,tobeabletomakehimevenmomentarilyatthemercyofhisneedforher.She
drewherlipsdaringlydowntothewidebeltathishipsandbithimdelicatelyjustbelowhisnavel.
Heshudderedandarched,cryingout.Annaliftedherhead,shockedandalittlefrightenedbyhis
reactiontosogentleacaress.
Shedidn'trecognizehimwhenshesawhisface.Hiseyesweretormented,hisfacedarkwithpassion,
hismouthathinline.
"I'msorry,"shesaidquickly."Evan,I'msorry,didIhurtyou?"
"ForGod's...sake...Anna!"
Hewhippedheroverbesidehim,pausingjustlongenoughtostriptheopenblouseandbrafromher,
throwingthemcarelesslyonthefloor,andthenhearchedaboveherandlookeddown,hisbigbody
shiveringwithneed.
Herbreastswerebig;fullandfirmwithdarkmauvetipsthatquicklygrewhardashelookedatthem.
Instinctivelyherarmmovedtocoverherself,buthecaughtitandpulledherupintoasittingposition.
"No,"hesaidgruffly."Youbelongtome.Letmelook."
Afteraminute,shegaveinandsattrembling,
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flushingashestaredatherbreasts.Thiskindofintimacywasnew,andalittlescary.
"Onlyyou,"shewhisperedunsteadily.
"Onlyme,"hesaid,hisvoicedeepandslowandhusky.Hiseyesdarkened."God,you'rebeautiful,
Anna,"hesaidroughly."Absolutelybeautiful!"
Sheseemedtoblossomatthewords,herbackarchingunconsciously."Evan,"shewhispered,
shivering."Evan,I'lldieifyoudon'ttouchme...!"
Hefeltthesameway.Hereachedforherhungrily."Somuchforpatience,"hemanaged.Hisjaw
clenchedasheheldherupperarmstightlyandlethiseyesfeedonherbeauty."Thisiswherewe
couldgetinoverourheadsveryquickly,"hesaidthroughhisteeth,andhebroughtherbreasts
suddenlyagainstthethickraspingmatofhairthatcoveredhimfromthroattostomach."Idon'teven
knowifIcanstop,"hebitoffagainsthermouthashetookithungrily.
Annastiffenedandshiveredatthecontactofhertautbreastswithhisbarechest,themostintimate
she'deverexperienced.Evanheldherbytheribcageandslowly,torturouslybegantodragher
breastsagainstthatthicketofhairwithsensuousmovementsthatwerelikesettingamatchtodry
wood.
Shehadn'tknownthatherbodycouldshudderwithecstasyfromjustthefeelofaman'shairychest
againstherbarebreasts.ButhernailsbitintoEvan'sbigshouldersandshemovedwithhim,herbody
shiveringasthedeliciouscontactarousedhertofeverpitch.
"Doit...hard,"shewhisperedhoarsely,hereyes
closedassheswayedagainsthim."Rubmeagainstyou...veryhard!"
Hewasn'teventhinkingnow.Hisbodywasreactingpredictablytotheardorshearousedinhim.He
lookedwheretheytouched,watchingherhardnipplesdragagainsthiswarmchest,feelingthemlike
brandsonhisbody.Hebentheracrosshimandincreasedtheardentpressure,movingherfromside
tosidenow,hearinghershakymoans,feelingthebruisingbiteofherfingernails.Shesobbedandher
mouthpressedhardagainsthisbareshoulders.Shebithimagain,quitehard,hertonguedrawing
circlesonhisskininhelplesspassion.
Oneofhishandshadslidtoherlowerspineandwasgrindingherrhythmicallyintothetautheatof
himwhilehismouthsuddenlybenttohersandpossesseditfiercely.
Atthatmoment,shewouldhavelethimdoanythinghelikedtoher.Whenhismouthlifted,shelether
bodyarchbackward,herfirmbreastsjuttingtowardhislips,hereyesclosedassheyieldedherbody
tohimcompletely.
TheactionmadeEvanshiver.Heknewwhatshewassaying,withoutwords.Shewouldgivehim
anythinghewanted,doanythingheaskedofher.Hecouldlayherdownonthebedandstripherand
makeherhis,andshewouldallowhimto.
Thatsubmissionstoppedhim,whennothingelsewouldhave.Heliftedhisheadslowly,hiseyes
focusinghungrilyonherbreasts.Hewasfaintlyawareofthestabofhernailsintohisshoulders,but
itwas
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herflushed,hungryfacethatcaughthisattention.He'dneverseenherlookmorebeautiful.
Heeasedhercheekagainsttherecklessthrobofhisbarechestandgentlyheldherthere,fightingfor
sanity.
Sherubbedherbreastsagainsthimhelplessly,herlipspressingsoftkissesagainsthisthroat.
"Don't,"hewhispered,stillingher."Thefeelofyouisdrivingmeoutofmymind."
"Iknow."Shenibbledathischin."Wecouldmakelove,"shewhisperedunsteadily."Righthere."
Hisbighandsfirmedonhershoulders."No."
"Youwantme,"shesaid.
"Viciously,"heagreed."Butwecan'tmakeloveonyourbedinthemiddleoftheday,whenLorior
yourparentscouldcomehomeunexpectedlyandfindus."
"Wecouldlockthedoors,"shemoaned.
Heliftedhisheadandtiltedherchinuptohis."Takedeepbreaths,"hesaidquietly."Letyourself
relax.I'mnotgoingtouseyoulikeawomanI'veboughtforthenight,Anna.Cheapsexisn'twhatI'm
after,despitethefactthatourlovemakinggotalittleoutofhandjustnow."
Shelethereyesfalltohisbarechest."Alittle?"shewhisperedonanervouslaugh.
"Itoldyouhowitwouldbe,"heremindedher.Heheldhereyesandslidonebighandupherbody
tocupandcaressherfirmbreasts."Youreallyare
abiggirl,"hewhispered,smilinggently."Justmysize."
Sheblushed,butshesmiled,too,archingsothathishandmovedtoencompassherevenmorefully.
"Likeit?"heaskedhuskily.
"Don'tyouknow?"shecountered.
Hebenthisheadandthehandatherbackmovedhersothathecouldputhismouthoverthebreast
hewascupping.Hesuckledatitgently,nibbled,caressed,bit,untilshecurledintohimwithahelpless
moan.Shelovedthemoistheatofhismouthonherskin,rememberingthefirsttimehe'deverdoneit
withalayeroffabricintheway.
Sheheldhimwhenhestartedtolifthishead."Just...alittlemore,please,"shewhimpered."Bite...me...!"
Andhe'dbeenafraidoffrighteningher,hethoughtironicallyashegaveintoherpleas.Helaidher
backonthebedandfedonherbreastslikeastarvingman,delightinginhercriesofpleasure,the
claspofherarms,thetremblingvulnerabilityofheryieldedbody.
Hismouthslidbackuptoheropenlipsandwithoutthinkingoftheconsequences,hisbodyslowly
leveredoverher,onepowerfulleginsinuatingitselfbetweenherssothathecouldbringtheminto
totalintimacy.
Shecaughtherbreathandclutchedathim,shivering.Heliftedhisheadthenandlookedintohereyes.
"Itwillprobablyhurtlikehell,"hesaidflatly,
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oneleanhandgoingunderhertopressherhipsupintohis."Especiallyifyou'veneverevenplayedat
intimacybefore."
"Ihaven't.Butifitisn'tyou,"shewhispered,"itwon'tbeanybody,ever.Iloveyou!"
Hegroanedandhiseyesclosed.Shemadeallhisfearsseemgroundless.Shelovedhim.Hebegan
towonderifLouisaeverhad,orifshe'donlywantedhimforhisposition,hiswealth.Annahad
insinuatedasmuch,asHardenhadyearsago,andnowhehadtofacethefactthatitmighthavebeen
true.
Hebrushedhismouthgentlyoverherbareshoulders,herthroat,herlips."I'llberoughwithyou,"
hesaidinsomethinglikeanguish."Iwon'tbeabletohelpit,don'tyouunderstand?Ilosecontrolso
easilywithyou.Oh,God,I'veprobablyleftbruisesonyoualready...!"
Shekissedhimsoftly,rubbinghernoselovinglyagainsthis."Youhaven'tseenyourshoulderyet,
haveyou?"sheaskedtenderly,andsmiled.
Helaughedsoftly."Yes.Youbitme,didn'tyou?"
"Veryhard,"shewhisperedshakily."Ididn'tknowitwasgoingtofeellikethat,orthatyou'ddo
whatyoudidtome."Shedugherfingersintothethickhairthatcoveredhischest."IthoughtImight
faintwhenyoustartedrubbingyourchestagainstme."
"TherearetimeswhenI'mnotsorryaboutthisthicket,"headmittedagainstherlips."Youwerevery,
veryaroused."
"Istillam,"shesaidsoftly."Iwishwecouldmakelove."
"SodoI.Butwecan't,likethis."
"Youcouldundress,"shesuggestedhalf-humorously.
"Youdon'tunderstand."Hemovedtohersideandstretchedalittlejerkily,pullingherdownagainst
himwithhercheekpillowedonhischest."Whatwe'redoingissomethingthatbelongsintheconfines
ofmarriage."Hesearchedhereyesquietlywhilehisfingersgentledonherbreast."IfIgiveyoua
baby,it'sgoingtobeafterwe'remarried,notbefore."
Shedidn'tthinkshecouldhaveheardhimproperly."Youdon'twanttogetmarried,"shefaltered.
"Oh,butIdo,"hesaiddoggedly.Heloweredhismouthtohersandkisseditslowly,hotly."I'lltake
thechance,ifyouwill.Sayyes,Anna,"hebreathed.
"Yes!"ThewordburstfromherlikearainbowofsoundandEvantookalongbreathanddamned
theconsequences.
"Nolongengagement,either,"hewhispered."We'llgetthelicensetomorrow."
"Sosoon?"shegasped.
"Ican'tbeartobeawayfromyouforfiveminuteslately,"hesaid,hiseyesglitteringwithbarely
leashedpassion."Iwantyouwithmeallthetime,dayandnight.Iwantyouundermeinbed,Anna,"
hewhisperedsensually,nibblingherlowerlipwhileheplayedwithherlipsandstrokedherbreast."I
wantyournakedbodywrithingunderthehardnessofmine...!"
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Shemethismouthhalfway,herbodyturning,acceptingthecrushofhis,beggingformore.Itwasall
hecoulddotogetawayfromher.Herolledawayandgottohisfeet,keepinghisbacktoheruntilhe
couldstopshuddering.Hereachedforacigarette,buttheywereintheshirthedidn'tremember
discarding.Hereacheddownandretrieveditfromthefloor,alongwithherblouseandbra.
Annawassittingup,breathingraggedly,andhiseyeswentpointedlytothethrustofherprettybreasts.
"Exquisite,"hewhisperedbreathlessly."Icouldlookatyoulikethatfortherestofmylife.Butin
theinterestsofyourchastity,Ithinkyou'dbettercoverthemup.Quick."
Hetossedhergarmentstoher,watchingherflushandjerktryingtogetthembackonagain.
Thedrollhumorsoothedherembarrassment.Shewasalittleshyofhimnow.Heseemedtosenseit,
becausehepulledherupfromthebedandheldhergently."Youstilldon'tknowexactlywhatyou
couldbelettingyourselfinfor.Iwasincontrolmostofthetimetoday.ButwhenIlosecontrol,and
eventuallyIwill,youmightnotlikewhathappens."
"I'mstilltryingtofigureoutwhatitisthatI'msupposedtobesoafraidof."
"I'moversized,"hesaidquietly."I'vealwayshadtopullmypunches,eversinceIwasaboy.Even
now..."Hebrokeoff."IkeeprememberingLouisa,"headmittedfinally,andhewinced.
This,shethought,wasgoingtotaketimeandpatience.Butifshewascareful,maybeshecouldheal
thosescars."I'mnotfragile,"shesaid,hervoicesoftandhesitant."Iwantyouasmuchasyouwant
me.AndIloveyou."
Hishandtouchedherlipswithexquisitetenderness."Youmakeallmyworstfearssoundridiculous."
"Theyare,"shereplied.Sheclosedhereyeswhilehekissedherwithsomethinglikereverence."Are
yougoingtostaywithme?"
Helaughedsoftly."HowcanIstayaway?"hecountered."Therearen'tthatmanywomenin
JacobsvillewhoworshipthegroundIwalkon."
Sheglaredathim."Goahead,rubitin."
"Iwasn't.Ifeelprettyarrogantandsmugrightnow,ifyouwanttoknow."Henibbledathermouth.
"Nowlet'ssitdown,inthelivingroom,"heemphasized,"andwatchsomemovies,beforeweendup
inbedagain."
"Wewill,eventually,"shesaiddoggedly.
Hesighed."Eventually,"heagreed."FirstIhavetoworkupthenerve,"hesaidunderhisbreath.He
brushedacarelesskissagainstherforeheadand,minuteslater,startedtheVCRinthelivingroom.
Evansettledherinthecurveofhisarmandwonderedquietlyhowhewasgoingtogoonlivingifshe
everturnedawayfromhimoutoffear.
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ChapterTen
Evanwasn'twastingmuchtimearrangingthewedding,Annadiscoveredthenextmorning,whenhe
cametopickheruptoapplyforthelicense.They'dtoldPollyandDukethedaybeforeanddecidedto
waitovernightbeforetheystartedthepaperwork,butnobodywassurprisedbythenews.Theother
coupleonlygrinned.
Annawasasclosetoheavenasshe'dbeeninherlife.Evanwasopenlyaffectionatenow,kissingher
whenhecameintothehouse,wrappingherupagainsthimwhentheywalked.Ifhedidn'tcareabout
her,hewascertainlyagoodactor.
Aftertheyappliedforthelicenseandhadabloodtest,Evantookherouttolunchatarestaurant
downtown.
"Youaren'teatingmuch,"heobservedwhenshebarelytouchedherroastbeef.
Shelookedupathim,hereyessoftandloving."I'mstillinshock,"sheconfessed."Icanhardly
believeit,evennow."
Hisdarkeyesslidoverherfacepossessively."I'dneverthoughtaboutmarriagebefore,"he
confessed."Notseriously,atleast,evenifIdidlipservicetotheideaofwantingahomeanda
family."
"YouusedtosaythattheyalltrampledyoutryingtogettoHarden,"sherecalledwithasmile.
Hisbigshouldersroseandfell."Inaway,itwastrue.Hardenhatedwomen,sonaturallytheyallloved
him.EspeciallyMiranda,fortunatelyforhim,"headdedwithagrin.
"IusedtothinkthatifHardencouldgetmarried,anybodycould,"sheadmitted."Hewasarealwoman
hater."
"NolessthanConnal,untilPepicameuponhisblindside,"heagreed.Hecaughtherhandinhisand
turneditover,strokingherringfingerabsently."Ihaven'tevenboughtyouaring,"heremarked.
Thelicenseandthebloodtesthadconvincedherthathewasserious,butthementionofaringmade
herheartbeatfaster.Thatwascommitment.
Shelookedupintohiseyeswithpurejoy.
"Doyouwantadiamond,Anna?"heaskedgently.
"I'mnotsure..."
"Don't,forGod'ssake,tellmeyouwantanemerald,"hesaid,hisdarkeyesflashing."Iwon'tbuyyou
one."
HesoundedviciouslyjealousoftheemeraldRand—
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allhadgivenher.Shehadtohideasmile."No,Idon'twantanemerald,"sheadmitted."Idon'tsuppose
coloredstonesareaverygoodinvestment,arethey?"
Hescowled."Honey,I'mnotbuyingitforaninvestment,"hesaidgently."Thisisn'tabusinessdeal."
"I'msorry."Shecouldn'tverywelltellhimthatshedidn'tunderstandwhyhewasmarryingher.She
wassurethathecared,alittle.Itwasjustthatshewantedhimtobeinlove,asshewas.Hewas
attentiveandkindandevenaffectionate,butshewasn'tsureofhim.
Whatshedidn'tknowwasthathehadn'tabandonedhisfears.Hewasgoingaheadwiththewedding
despitethem,mostlyoutofworrythatshemightgobacktoRandall.Hewastakingaterriblechance
onherageandinnocence,despiteherconfessionofundyinglove.
Shesensedhisreservations.Ninastillbotheredher.Thatoldflamehadturnedintoaragingfire
justbeforeAnnawasattacked.HowcouldshebesurethatEvandidn'tfeelsomethingforNina?How
couldshebesurethathewasn'tmarryingheroutofpityandguiltandhelplessdesire?
Shesippedhercoffeeabsently,hereyesavoidinghis.
Inanswertoallherunspokenworries,Ninawalkedinthedooroftherestaurant,alone,andspotted
Evan.
Hesawthewomancomingandcursedviciously
tohimself.Hismannersoutweighedhisanger,sohepushedbackhischairandstoodup,buthiseyes
weren'twelcoming.
"Well,hello,"Ninagushed.ShewentuptoEvanandblatantlykissedhim,despitehisobvious
reticence."Howareyou,darling?Ihaven'tseenyouforages!Whathaveyoubeendoing?"
"Gettingengaged,"hesaidflatly."AnnaandIaregoingtobemarried."
Ninaactuallyfroze.Shedidn'tmoveorspeakforalongmoment,andthenshelaughedharshly.
"You'remarryingAnna?Afterallthetimeyouspentrunningfromher?Well,well,whatdidyoudo,
Evan,getherpregnant?"
"That'senough,"Evansaidcoldly.
NinastaredatAnnawithpurehatredinhereyes."Youaren'tstupidenoughtothinkhelovesyou?All
he'scapableofiswanting!Ishouldknow!"Shewasalmostshakingwithrage,andattractingthe
attentionofhalfadozenotherdinersaswell."IgavehimeverythingIhad,andIcouldn'tholdhim!"
"Nina,stopit,"Evansaidquietly."You'remakingaspectacleofyourself."
Herlowerliptrembledasshestaredathim.Despiteherembarrassment,Annafeltaterriblesympathy
forher.NinahadbeeninlovewithEvan.Itwaspainfullyobvious.
"Justmyluck...tobethewrongkindofwomantogetyoutothealtar,"NinasobbedatEvan.
"Everybodysaidexperienceappealedtoyou,butit
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wasn'ttrue,wasit?You'rerobbingthecradleatthat...!"
Shewhirledsuddenlyandranoutoftherestaurant,stillcrying.
Evansatbackdownheavily."I'msorryaboutthat,"hetoldAnna,hisvoicestrainedbuttender.
"Shelovedyou,"Annasaidsoftly.
"Yes,"heagreed."ButIdidn'tloveher.Youcan'tforceyourselftocareaboutsomebody,Anna.
That'slife."
Sheknewthat.ShelookedatEvanwithhorror.Shewasmarryinghim,andhedidn'tloveherany
morethanhelovedNina.Whatkindofrelationshipcouldtheybuildonaone-sidedattraction?
Eventuallyevendesirewouldwane,andwhatwouldbeleft?
Evancursedroundlywhenhegotagoodlookatherface.Hehelpedherupandwenttopaythecheck,
ignoringthecuriousstaresoftheotherpatrons.NinahaddestroyedAnna'sradiantmood,andhis
own.He'dthoughtthewomanrealizedwhenhedidn'tcallthathewasnolongerinterested.Itwashis
ownfault.He'dusedhertokeepAnnaatbayandshe'dmisunderstoodhiscontinuingattention.He
shouldhavehadalongtalkwithher,butAnna'ssituationhadclaimedallhisfaculties.
HeescortedAnnabacktothecar,hiswholedemeanorquietandpreoccupied.
"Ithinkwe'llwaitandgettheringsinthemorning,ifyoudon'tmind,"hetoldherwhenhepulled
upinfrontofherhouse."Ihavesomethingstotakecareof."
"It'sallrightwithme,"Annareplied."Theday'sbeenratherspoiledanyway."
Hecutofftheengineandturnedtowardher.Hewincedatherbleakexpression."I'msorry,"hesaid
huskily.
"Youcan'thelpitthatwomenfallalloverthemselvestryingtogettoyou."Shelaughedbitterly.
"Afterall,I'moneofthem,aren'tI?"
"No,"hesaidflatly."You'renotoneinacrowd.I'veaskedyoutomarryme,Anna,nottospenda
fewfeverishhoursinbedwithme!"
"Idorealizewhatagreathonoryou'redoingme."Shelookedathimwithsomething
approximatingpanic."Whatkindoflifewillwehave,fallingalloveryourdiscardedloversevery
timewegoouttoeat?Evan,Idon'twantthis,"shesaidwildly."Ican'tmarryyou...!"
Hishandshotoutandcaughtherarm,draggingheroveragainsthimsothatherheadfellback
againsthisshoulder.
"No,youdon't,"hesaidhuskily."You'renotbackingout."
"Yes,I-!"
Hestoppedthefranticwordswithhismouth.Shefoughthim,butonlyforafewseconds.Theheatand
masteryofhismouthslowlybegantoweakenherstruggles.Shecouldn'tresisthim.Herlipsparted
andherarmswentupandaroundhisneck,asshegavehimbackthelong,slowkiss.Herpulsesbegan
tothrobwiththesweetnessofbeinginhisarms.
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"Youaren'tplayingfair,"shewhispered,shaken,whenhefinallyliftedhishead.
"I'mnotplaying,period,"hereplied,hisdarkeyespiercing,steadyonhers."Ninaknewthescore
fromtheverybeginning.Imadenopromises,ever."
"Youusedher,"shewhisperedmiserably.
Hisfacetautened."Yes,"headmittedcurtly."Idid.Atthetime,IthoughtIwasprotectingyou.Iused
hershamefully.Shehadeveryrighttobeupsetaboutthat,butshecan'tpretendthatshedidn'tknow
whatIwasdoing.Shewaswilling."
Herlowerliptrembled."Yousleptwithher!"sheaccusedhuskily.
"Yearsago,ifyouhavetoknow,"herepliedflatly."Notsince.Certainlynotsinceshe'sbeenback
intown.Itoldyoubefore,Ican'tevengetarousedbyotherwomen,leastofallNina!"
Herbreastsroseandfellinaslow,heavysigh.Shelethercheekrestagainsthim.Shestaredpasthim
outthewindow.Itwasmistingrainandcloudy.Likeherlife,shethought.
"Whydoyouwanttomarryme,Evan?"sheaskedfinally.
Heliftedhishead,scowling."What?"
"Whydoyouwanttomarryme?"sherepeated."Isitpity,orguilt,ordesire,oralittleofallthree?"
"MyGod,youstilldon'ttrustme,doyou?"heasked.Hesoundedalmostdefeated."Ican'tblame
you,butifyouhavesolittlefaithinmymotives,whyareyouwillingtogothroughwithit?"
Shelookedupathim."BecauseIloveyou,"shesaidsimply.
Hetouchedherloosened,disheveledhair."Youaren'tsureofme,"hereplied."Ifyoulovedme,
wouldn'tyoube?"
Hereyesgrewsad."Notreally.It'shardtobesureofsomeonewhenyoudon'tknowhowtheyfeel."
Helethiseyesfalltohermouth."HowdoyouthinkIfeel?"hehedged.
"Idon'tknow.You'vebeenverydifferentsincetheaccident,"shereplied."Before,youmadeitclear
howyoufeltaboutme,thatyouwantedmeoutofyourlife.ThenIgothurtandallatonce,youwere
willingtomarryme."
"Youmakemesoundfickle,Anna,"hesaid,buthecouldn'tdenythetruthofwhatshewas
insinuating.
"Notfickle.Justuncertain.Youcan'tblamemeforfeelingthesameway.You'veneverreallytoldme
whatyoufelt."
Andhecouldn't.Notjustyet.Hestillhadtoomanymisgivings,toomanyfears.
Hetouchedhermouthlightlywithhisforefinger."Willwordsconvinceyou?"heaskedquietly.
"Somehow,Idon'tthinkso.You'vegotitfixedinyourmindthatI'monlysorryforyou.NothingIsay
isgoingtochangethat.You'rejustgoingtohavetowaitandsee."
Fearflickeredunderhereyelashes."You'dbetied
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tome,don'tyousee?"sheaskedgently."You'dhateit!"
Hismouthcoveredhers.Heliftedherintoawarmer,closerembrace,hislipsdrivingeveryworryout
ofhermind.Hishandslidinsideherblouse,underthebra,withblatantmastery.Shefelthisfingers
againsthersoft,bareflesh.Shestiffenedandgaspedatthesurgeofpleasureitgaveher.
Histeethcaughtatherlowerlip,gentlyteasingit."We'regoingtohavethemostunusualwedding
nightinhistory,"hesaidwithblackhumor."Itwillprobablybethefirsttimethatthegroomhas
jitters."
Shedrewbackalittle."Areyouafraidtomakelovetome?"sheaskedhesitantly.
"Isn'titobvious?"heaskeddarkly."MyGod,I'vefoughtthis.Andintheend,Icouldn'tgiveyouup,
notevenforyourowngood."
"Evan,it'snotgoingtobethatbad,"shesaid,tryingtoreassurehim.Helooked...shecouldn'tquite
decidehowhelooked."Icanseethedoctorbeforewe'remarried.Ifhethinksthere'sgoingtobeany,
well,anydifficulty,hecantakecareofitforme."
Hisjawtautened."Yourvirginityisn'twhatconcernsme."
"Thenwhat?"
Hedrewinaroughbreathandlookeddownatthebulgeofhishandunderherblouse.Absentlyhis
fingerscaressedher,lovingthesoftnessofherskin."Anna,Icouldhurtyousobadly,"hesaid
huskily."Itmightbringbackterriblememoriesofthenight
youwereattacked.Andquitefrankly,pastacertainpoint,amancan'tstop."
Shereachedupandnibbledathismouth."Thenyou'llhavetomakemecrazyfirst,won'tyou?"she
whispered."Likeyoudid...yesterdaywhenyouopenedyourshirtandheldmeagainstyou...Evan!"
Hismouthbitintohers.Shearchedcloser,herfingerspressinghisintrudinghandtoherbreast.Fora
fewseconds,heactuallyseemedblindanddeaf,hismouthdevouringandsweet.
Hegroanedandpulledheracrosshislap,turninghersothatherbellypressedagainsthishardness.
Hegroundherintohim,feelinghertremble.
"Yes,"shewhisperedintohismouth.Shemoveddeliberately,lovingthefeelofhim,theraging
arousalthatsheseemedtokindleinhimsoeffortlessly.
Hishandtangledpainfullyinherhairashistonguedroveintothesoftnessofhermouth.Hisfree
hand,atthebaseofherspine,rockedherrhythmicallyagainsthim,sendingripplesofpureecstasy
throughhisrigidbody.
Hefelthersofttremblingwithwonder,felthersubmission.Hisfingerswenttoherblouseandbegan
tounfastenit.ThankGodtheyardwasdesertedandPolly'scarwasgone.Theyweretotallyalone.
Heliftedhisheadlongenoughtogettheblouseoutofhiswayandunclaspherbra.
"Yes,"shemurmured.Shesatup,impatientlyhelpinghimridheroftheunwantedfabric.Butthen
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herhandswenttohisownshirtandunfastenedthepearlysnaps.
"Anna..."hebegan,fightingforcontrol.
"Iwanttofeelyouagainstme,"shewhisperedhungrily.Shelinkedherarmsaroundhisneckand
brushedthetipsofherbreastsagainsthishair-roughenedchest.
"Anna!"hegroanedharshly.
Shesawhisfacecontortandrecognizedtherigidmaskofpleasure.
"Isthishowtodoit?"shewhispered,movinghertorsoevenharderagainsthis."Teachme,Evan.
Showmehowtomakelove."
"My...God,youdon't...needlessons!"hemanaged.
"Here,"shesaid,tuggingathisheadasshearchedbackagainsthisarm,hereyeshalf-closed.
"Do...whatyoudidtomeyesterday.Doithard!"
Hewasoutofhismind.Hebarelyrealizeditashismouthsettledhelplesslyononeduskyhard-
tippedbreast.Hesuckledatit,feelingherbodyripplewithpleasureashefedonhersoftness.His
fingerscuppedher,caressedherwhilehediscoveredthehardtipwithhistongue,hislips.Andshelay
thereandlethim,vibratingwithpleasure,hersoftsighslostintheroughgroansthatburstfromhis
mouth.
"Evan,itfeelssogood,"shemoanedfeverishly.Herhandstangledinhisthickhair,holdinghimto
herhungrybody"Itfeelssogood,sogood!"
"Youtasteofrosepetals."Heliftedhisheadand
lookedather,atthesoftfleshwithitsdeepflushthathismouthhadcaused.Hetookaslowbreathand
lethishandslowlycaressher."Iwantyou."
"Iwantyou,too."Herbackarchedgently,hereyesglazedwithdesire."Can'twe...gosomewhere
andbealone?"
Hisjawtautened."Risky,"hemanaged.
"Idon'tcare.Iwantyoutolookatme,"shesaiddizzily."Iwanttolookatyou!"
Hewantedtoscream.Hehadtothink.Hehadtoprotecther.Shearchedherbackagainandrubbedher
breastsslowlyagainsthim.
"Allright,"hesaidshakily.
Hemadehersitup,helpingherintotheblouseagain.Hestartedthecarwithoutaword.Hedidn'tdare
lookatherorhe'dwreckit.
Hedrovequietly,andquickly,totheTremaynelake.Itwasdesertedduringtheweek,andnooneever
wentthere.Hestoppedthecar,turnedofftheignition,andgotout.
Annaliftedherarmsashebenttocarryherdowntothegrassybankofthelake.
"Thisisinsane,"hewhisperedashelaidherdowninthegrassandwentdownbesideher."We'llgo
toofar."
"It'sallright,"shesaidsoftly.Shepulledoffherblouseandlethimlookather,totallywithout
inhibitions.Hewasgoingtomarryher."Shelovedhim.Nowshehadtoconvincehimthatshewasn't
frightenedofhim.
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Evancouldhardlybreatheforthepoundingofhisheartashestaredathersoft,swollenbreasts.
"You'reavirgin,"hegroaned.
"WouldyouratherIletRandallseemelikethis?"shewhispered.
Hiseyesflashed."No.Iwouldnot."Hestrippedoffhisshirtandhisbeltbeforehelaidherbackonthe
grassandspreadhisbroad,darkchestoverherbreasts.Heheldhereyesashebegantomovehis
torsosensuallyoverhers,lettinghishair-roughenedmusclesdragarousinglyoverthehardtipsof
herbreasts.
Hernailsdugintohispowerfulupperarmsasthemotionkindledasudden,shockingdesire.She
gaspedjerkily.
"Andthisisonlythebeginning,Anna,"hesaidroughly."Itgetsworse.Muchworse."
Hebenttohermouth.He'dneverkissedherlikethis,insuchadeliberatelyarousingway.Heteased
andtormentedhersoftmouthuntilshewasopenlybeggingforhis,drivenhalfmadbythesensual
movementsofhisbodyagainstherbarebreasts.
Shewasalmostintearsbythetimehefinallyrelented,andhistonguepenetratedhermouthinone
deep,smoothmotion.Shewassoarousedthatsheactuallycriedoutandwentrigid,pulsatingwith
feverishneedasthekissshethoughtwouldsatisfyheronlyarousedadeeperhunger.
HerlegsmovedagainstEvan'shelplessly.Hefeltheranguishedneedandhisbigbodyleveredover
hers.Heeasedherlegsapartandslidslowlybetweenthem.
Heliftedhisdarkhead.Hiseyeswereblackwitharousal,hisswollenlipspartedonjerkybreaths.He
restedhisweightonhisforearmsandheldherdazed,hungryeyeswhilehedeliberatelypusheddown.
Shefelthiminanintimacythatshe'dneversharedwithanyonebefore.Hereyesdilatedandherlips
partedonagaspasshefeltthefullforceofhisdesire.
Hewatchedher,certainthatitwasgoingtobejustasithadbeenwithLouisa.Shewasgoingtorun...
Evenashethoughtit,herlonglegsbegantotangleshylywithhis.Herhipslifted,verygently.He
stiffenedandshuddered,eventhoughhiseyesneverlefthers.
Shediditagain,herfaceradiantasshe'watchedhishelplessreaction.
"Thisisvery,verydangerous,"hebitoff."Ifyouarousemeenough,Iwon'tbeabletostop."
"Idon'tmind."
Hisbighandcaughtherthighandstilledherunderhim."Youdon'tunderstand.Icouldmakeyou
pregnant."
Shesmiledgently."Youdon'tunderstand,"shereplied."Iwantababywithyou."
Heactuallyshuddered.Foronemadinstant,helookedintohereyesandgaveintoher.Hishand
movedfromherthightothebaseofherspineandhepushedherlegsfurtherapartashesettledcom-
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pletelybetweentheminablatanturgencythatmadehermoansharply.
"Thisiswhatyou'reinviting,"hesaidroughly,andpushed,hard."ItwillhurtlikehellifI'mthis
arousedwhenithappens!"
Thatwaswhenshefirstbegantomakesenseofallthewarnings,allthemisgivings.Sherelaxed
underhisweightandhereyesheldhisfierceblackones.
"Oh,"shewhispered.
Hewastrembling."Seenthelight,haveyou?"hechoked."IhopetoGodyouhaven'tseenittoolate.
Liestill!"hebitoff,anchoringherwithamercilesshand.Helookedather,shiveringwithreactionas
hefoughttocontrolhimself.
Shewatchedhim,shakenbyhisvulnerability,byherownabilitytoaffecthim.Sexhadbeenavaguely
frighteningmystery,butnowitwasawonderoussurprise.Shehadaprettygoodideaofwhatit
entailedandexactlywhyEvanwassoafraidofhisuncontrolledstrength.
Hewasbreathingunsteadily,hiseyesclosed,hisforeheadrestingagainsthers.
Shesmoothedthedarkhairathisnapegentlyandrelaxedcompletely,absorbinghisformidable
weight.Hewascalming.Therigidityofhismuscularbodywasslowlygivingway.
"Sothat'swhatit'slike,"shemurmured,awed.
Hertonedraggedastrainedlaughfromhisthroat."Didn'tyouknow?"
"Notreally,"sheconfessed.Hereyesclosed."Puzzles,"shesaid.
Hecaughthisbreathatthewordpicturesheevoked."Yes,"hemanaged."Exceptthatthisparticular
onecanbedifficulttofittogether,unlessit'sputintoplacewithexquisitetenderness."
Herarmslinkedaroundhisneck.Hischestwasdampandcoolagainsthersastheheatbegantodie
outofthem.
"AmItooheavy?"heasked.
"Oh,no.Ilikethewayitfeels."
Henuzzledhisfaceagainsthers."Howaboutaswim,whilewe'rehere?"
"Idon'thaveabathingsuit,"shesaidabsently.
Heliftedhishead."NeitherdoI.We'rebeingmarriedintwodays,Anna.Iwantyoutoknowitall
beforeIputmyringonyourfinger."
Thethoughtofseeinghimwithouthisclothesdisturbedher,butshesensedthatforhimthiswasan
obstaclethatfrightenedhim.Ashesaid,theyweregoingtobemarried.Manyengagedcouplesdid
muchmoretogetherthanjustswimwithouttheirclothes.
"Allright,"shesaidsoftly.
Evancaughthisbreath."Areyousure?"
"Yes."Shetouchedhismouthwithherfingertips."Iloveyou."
Soshesaid.Buthewantedproof.Ifshecouldlookathimwithoutfear,onehurdlewouldbeoutofthe
way.Louisa'sfacestillhauntedhim.
"Sobeit,"hesaidquietly.
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Hegottohisfeetandhelpedherup,noticinghershyreluctancetoundressinfrontofhim.He
smiledgently."I'llwalkdownthepathabit.Yellwhenyou'reinthewater."
Shesighed.'Thankyou,Evan."
"You'llgetusedtoit,"hereplied.Hebrushedakissacrosshermouthandmovedaway.
Shewasinthewaterwhenhecameback,andshekepthereyesavertedwhilehetookoffhisown
clothes.Secondslatertherewasasplashashelandedclosebesideher.
"Notsodifficult,wasit?"heaskedwithagrinasshetrodwaterbesidehim.
"Iguessthefirsttimeisthehardest,"shemused.
"Andthemostnecessary.Comeon,chicken.I'llraceyou."
Shelaughed,catchingupwithhim.Theyplayedlazily.Thefeelofthewateragainstherskinwas
exquisite.Sheclosedhereyesandfloated,gloryinginthesenseoffreedomshefelt.
Evanwatchedherwithhungryeyes,hisheartpoundingashegotfascinatingglimpsesofher
creamybodyunderthewater.Whenshearchedherbackandbegantofloat,hertautnipplesbreaking
thesurfaceofthelake,hewastotallylost.
"Oh,God,"hegroanedsoftly.
Hereachedforher,pullingherbodytotallyagainsthisashebenttoherlips.
Shelethimkissher,feelingforthefirsttimethetouchofhisbodywithnofabrictoconcealits
powerandstrength.Shehesitated,andheliftedhishead.
"Afraidofmelikethis?"hewhispered.
"Notafraid,really,"sheconfessed.Herblueeyessearchedhisdarkones."I'veneverbeenwithout
myclothesinfrontofanyonesinceIgrewup-notevenmymother."
Heheldherwaistinhisbighandsandsearchedhereyes."Iwon'thurtyou.Trytorememberthat."
Ashespoke,heliftedandturnedher,carryinghertowardthebank.Shegaspedandburiedher
embarrassedfaceinhiscoolthroat.
Hismouthslidacrosshercheektoherlipsandhebegantokissherwithexquisitetenderness.Aftera
minute,sheforgothernudityandgaveintothedeliciouspleasureofskinagainstskin.
Shefeltthejoltofhisbodyashewalked,thenthecoolaironherbodyandthesoftnessofthegrass
onherbackashelaidherdown.
Hekneltoverher,waitingforhereyestoopen.
Shelookedathim,flushedandlookedaway.
Hestiffened."Don'tyouwanttoscreamandrun?"heaskedtersely."Shedid."
Thebitternessinhisvoiceknockedtheshynessrightoutofher.Sheforcedherembarrassedeyes
backtohispowerfulbody,remindingherselfthatintwomoredayshewasgoingtobeherhusband.
Shehadtogrowup,veryfast.
Herlipspartedasshelookedathim,andherheartbegantorace.She'dneverseenacenterfold,but
shewascertainthathewouldhavemadeaperfectone.
Herraptstaredrainedsomeoftheapprehension
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fromhim.Hereyeswereshyandfranklyfascinated,butnotafraid.
Hewasdoingsomelookingofhisown.Awoman'sbodywasnomysterytohim,butAnna'swas
enoughtomakeahardenedwomanizercrazy.Hersoftcurveswereperfect,allofher,fromthethrust
ofherbreaststothesweepingcurveofherhipsandherlong,elegantlegs.
Thesightofherarousedhim,andhedidn'tturnawayortrytohidetheeffectshehadonhim.Shehad
tofacethataswell.
Herbreathcameunsteadilythroughherlips."Oh,my,"shewhispered.
Heliftedaneyebrow,waitingtoseeifshewasbluffing.
Afteraminute,hergazeliftedfromhisbodytohiseyes."YouthoughtI'dbeafraidifIsawyoulike
this,"shesaidsuddenly.
"Yes."
Shesmiledshyly."I'msorrytodisappointyou,"shesaid,watchingthewayhiseyesfollowed
hungrilythesensuouslinesofherbody."Whydon'tyoucomedownhereandkissme?"
Hecouldbarelybreathe,muchlessspeak."BecauseifIdo,Iwon'tbeabletostop."
"We'regoingtobemarrieddayaftertomorrow."
"Yes,"heagreed."Andwe'regoingtohaveaweddingnight.Aconventionalone,withallthe
trimmings."
Hemanagedtodraghimselftohisfeet.Hefished
acoupleoftowelsoutofthetrunkofhiscarandtossedonetoasubduedAnna.
"Spoilsport,"shemanagedwithashylaugh.
Withamutteredcurseofpurefrustratedanguish,hepulledonhisclothesandlitacigarettewhileshe
wasstillfumblingwithhooksandsnaps.
Shewatchedhimquietlywhenshehadfinished.Hewasrememberingthepast,sheknew.She'dalways
thoughtofhimasagentlegiant.TheideaofEvanhurtinganythingoranyonedeliberatelyhadnever
occurredtoher.
"Youcan'tbeafraidofpeopleyoulove,"shesaidgently.
Hegrimaced,glancingather."Can'tyou?Shewas."
Shewentclosetohim."There'ssomethingyoudon'tknowyet,Evan."
"What?"heaskedhuskily,rememberingtheincrediblebeautyofherbodyashelookeddownat
her.
"IfLouisahadlovedyou-reallylovedyou-shecouldn'thavebeenafraidofyouinbed."
Heflushed."Shelovedme,"hesaiddoggedly.
"Didshe?"Sheturnedandpickedupthetowels,foldingthemneatly.Hewaspreoccupiedallthe
waybacktothecar.
Heputherinthefrontseatandgotinbesideher.Therewasaterribletruthinwhatshe'dsaid.He
hatedtheimplicationsofit,thathe'dwastedyearsofhislife,yearsofhappinesshemighthavehad
withAnna,broodingoveraloveaffairthatmusthave
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beennothingmorethanabriefinfatuationforLouisa.Hisgreatloveaffairhadendedintragedy,only
becausehecouldn'trecognizewhatAnnaseemedtoknowinstinctively-thatLouisahadneverloved
himinthefirstplace.Itwasahardpilltoswallow.
ChapterEleven
TheyweremarriedonFridayafternoon,withEvan'sentirefamilyinattendance.Itwasabriefbut
beautifulceremony,andAnnacouldhardlybelieveshewasactuallymarryingEvan,evenafterhehad
slidthediamond-studdedgoldbandthatmatchedhersolitaireontoherfingerandkissedhertenderly.
Butdespitethattenderness,hewasworried.DuringthesmallreceptionattheTremaynehome,hewas
preoccupied.Annaaloneknewwhy.Hewasdreadinghisweddingnight,sohauntedbythepastthathe
wascertainhewasgoingtosendherscreamingfromhim.Sheknewbetter,butshehadtoconvince
Evanthathisgreatstrengthwasn'tdangerousinintimacy.
"Itwasabeautifulwedding,darling,"PollytoldherdaughterjustbeforeAnnaandEvanlefton
theirbriefhoneymoontoNewOrleans."Ihopeyou'llbehappy."
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"Iwillbe,"Annareplied.Shekissedandhuggedhermother,thenglancedtowardherfather,who
wastalkingtoEvanandHarden."HowaboutyouandDad?"
Pollygrinned."HehastoflybacktoAtlantatonight."
"Oh."Anna'sfacefell.
"I'mflyingbackwithhim,"Pollycontinued,laughingatAnna'sshockedface."He'sgoingtoask
foratransfertoHoustonsothathecanbehomenightswhenhe'snotscheduledonflights.We're
goingtobeafamilyagain,Anna.AndwhenDukeretires-whichhe'splanningtodonextyear-Imay
getoutoftherealestatebusinessandtravelaroundthecountrywithhim."
"It'salmosttoogoodtobetrue,"Annasighed,smilingthroughtears."I'msohappy!"
"SoamI,"Pollyreplied.ShedriedAnna'stears."Goandhaveanicehoneymoon.Whenyou're
back,withbothfeetontheground,we'lltalk.Takecareofyourself."
"You,too."
Minuteslater,AnnawassittingbesideEvanashedrovethemtotheairport.
"Happy?"heaskedgently,glancingather.
"Very.Areyou?"
"Askmeinthemorning,"hesaidwitharoughlaugh.
"Oh,Evan,"shesighed."AmIgoingtohavetogetyoudrunkandseduceyou?"
Hedidn'tlaugh.Hisfacehardened."Thatwasn'tfunny."
"I'mnotafraidofyou,"shesaidgently.
"Ihopenot.Becausetonight,you'llgettoproveit."
Shegaveuptryingtoreassurehimandstaredoutthewindow.Herweddingdayhadfallenflat,and
thehoneymoonhadbarelystarted.
NewOrleanswasbrassyandcolorful,andonceAnnahadrestedforafewminutes,sheandasubdued
EvanwentouttoexploretheFrenchQuarterandBourbonStreet.Itwaslateafternoonwhentheygot
backtothehotel,andEvanherdedherrightintotherestaurantforsupperbeforetheywentuptotheir
room.Duringthemealshetriedtomakeconversation,buthewasheavyweather.Andifshethought
thingscouldn'tbeworse,shewasmistaken.
Whentheygotuptotheirroom,sheturnedtokisshim,butheactuallybackedaway.
"No,"hesaidshortly,hisdarkeyesantagonistic."Notnow."
"We'remarried,Evan,"shesaidgently."It'sallright."
"Thehellitis."HegrabbeduphisStetsonandwenttowardthedoor."I'vegotabusinessmeeting.
I'llbelate,sodon'twaitup."
"Abusinessmeeting?Onourhoneymoon!"shewailed.
Hewouldn'tlookather.He'dlethisanxietybuilduntilhewasterrifiedtotouchher.Hecouldn'tadmit
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that.Thenextbestthingwastoinventanexcusetogetawayfromheruntilhecouldgetagripon
himself.
"Sorry,"hereplied."Itcouldn'tbehelped.I'llbebackwhenIcan.Goodnight."
Heclosedthedoor.Annasatdownonthebedwithathudandgapedafterhim.Shewonderedhowshe
wasgoingtosurvivemarriagewithamanwhowasafraidtotouchher.DamnLouisa!
Shefinallyslept,butnotuntiltheweehoursofthemorning.Whenshedriftedoff,Evanstillhadn't
cometobed,andshe'dcrieduntilhereyeswerered.
Meanwhile,Evanwassittinginabar,drinkingwhiskey,tryingtoconvincehimselfthathewasn't
KingKong.Annalovedhim.Shewasn'tLouisa.Butshewasinnocent,andheknewalltoowellhow
delicateaninnocentwoman'sbodywas.Hewashelplesswhenhestartedkissingher.Ifhelost
control,heknewhewasgoingtohurther.Helovedheruntilhethoughthisheartwouldbreak.He
tookanotherswallow,andanother,broodingoverallthetimeshisstrengthhadintimidatedmenand
womenalike.Beforeheknewit,thebarwasempty.Hepaidforhisdrinksandwentslowlyuptotheir
room,wonderingwhetherAnnawasasleepyet.
Thenextmorning,shewoke,vaguelyawarethatshewasn'taloneinthebed.Sherolledoverand
foundEvan.
Withafaintsigh,sheproppeduponherelbowandlookedathim.Asleep,heseemedyoungerand
muchlessdangerous.Poor,tormentedman.She
couldn'treallyblamehimforthosementalscars.Aman'segowashismostvulnerablespot,afterall.
Buttheyreallycouldn'tgoonlikethis.
Itseemedunderhandedsomehowtotakeadvantageofamaninhissleep,butAnnaknew
instinctivelythatEvan'sirrationalfearofhurtingherwasgoingtomakeanyothercourseofaction
impossible.
Shetuggedoffhernightgownandsmiledasshelookeddownonhissleepingface.Withanyluckat
allshecouldmakehimbelievehewasonlydreaming.Ofcourse,she'dhavetodoitjusttheright
way....
Dawnwasonlybeginningintheeasternsky,sothattherewasbarelyanylightintheroom.Carefully
shepulledthesheetdownandthrewitoffthebed,herbreathcatchingatthesightofEvan'sbody.He
wasalreadyaroused,andhebegantomoverestlessly,asifjustthebrushofthesheethadexcitedhim.
Sheeaseddown,hermouthslowlytouchinghisbroadchest,teasinghisnipples.Theywerealready
hard,andshefelthisbreathingchangeasshenibbledatthem.Herhandsslidoverthebroadexpanse
ofhishair-roughenedchestanddownhisflankstohishardthighs.Asherhandsmoved,sodidher
mouth.Shekissedhimtenderly,nippedathimwithherteeth,untilshereachedhisnavelandthe
suddenripplingofmusclesjustbeneathit.
Hisbackarchedsensuouslyandhemoaned.Sheturnedherface,sothatherlonghairbrushedacross
hishipsandthighs,andhewhisperedhername.
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Shenippedathiswaistwithherteethwhileherfingersslowly,torturouslymadetheirwayuphis
powerfullegstohisflatstomach.
Secondslater,shefeltherselfliftedandturned,felthismouthcatchandhalfswallowherbreast,his
tongueroughonthehardnippleashebegantosuckleher.
Sheshiveredwithdelight,holdinghisheadtoherbody.Hishandsweresmoothingoverher,
learningher.Oneslidbetweenherthighsandcoaxedherlegsapart.
Hetouchedhertheninawayheneverhadbefore,andshegaspedattheunexpectedsurgeof
pleasuretheexquisitelyslowmovementsofhisfingersaroused.Allthewhile,hismouthwaswarm
onhertautbreast,drawingthenippleintothemoistdarknesswithdevastatingexpertise.
Hereyesclosedassheletthepleasurewashoverher.Herbodytwistedsinuouslyunderhishands
andmouth,softmoanswhisperingoutofherthroatwhiletheminutesgrewhotterandmorefeverish.
Hismouthgentlycoveredherswhilehisfingerstrespassedinanewandfrighteningway.There
wasabriefflashofpainandshemoaned,buthismouthgentledher,movinglovinglyfromherlipsto
herclosedeyelidswhilehishandbegantorouseheralloveragain.Thepainwasquicklyforgottenas
herhipsbegantolifttowardthosetormentingfingers.
Shefelthisbreathonherlips,justbeforehewhisperedhername.Hereyesopenedslowly,half-
dazed,andmethis.
Holdingthem,hemovedslowlybetweenherlegs,leveringdowncarefully."No,don'tlookaway,"he
saidshakily.
Sheswallowed,becauseshecouldfeelhimnowinanintimacyunlikeanythingthey'devershared.
Hewasmuchmorepotentthansheremembered,powerfulandalittleintimidating.
"Holdon,"hemurmured."Digyournailsintome,ifithelps."
Shegaspedashishipsarcheddownintohers,verycarefully.Hepushed,softly,andshetensed
despiteherresolve.
"Shh,"hewhispered,hiseyestender."Youknewitwouldbedifficult.Butyoucantakeme.Tryto
relax.Trytoletyourbodyabsorbmine.Thinkofastonefallingintowater,"hesaidsoftlyashe
moved."Absorbme,littleone.Takeme...insideyou."
Theimagerywasarousing.Shedrewhereyesdowntotheirbodiesandcaughtherbreathatwhatshe
saw.
"No,don'tlookthere,"hesaidgently,convincedevennowthatshewasgoingtopanic."Lookat
me,Anna."
Sheliftedhereyesbackuptohis,buttherewasnofearinthem.Shearchedherback,herbreath
catching,hereyesmistynowwithdesire."Iwatched,"shesaidunsteadily."Evan,Isaw...!"
Shepushedharder,absorbinghim.Therewasaburningsensation,astabbingpain.Shecriedout,
butshepushedharder.Andthenitwaseasy.Slow.Soft.
Herbreathingbegantoquickenandshemanaged
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asmileasshesoughthiseyes."Oh...yes!"shemoaned,shakingassheexperiencedthefullpowerof
hismasculinity.
Heletoutaraggedbreath."Yes."Hebenttoherlipsashisbodybegantheslow,familiarrhythm.He
nibbledhermouthashismusclestautened,ashishipsliftedandfellwithexquisitetenderness.
Herfingersslidtothebaseofhisspineandlingered,strokinghim.Heshuddered.Shelikedthat,so
shediditagain.
"Stop,"hegroundout."You'llmakemelosecontrol."
"Iwantyouto,"shewhisperedwithatinysmile,archinghermouthuptohis."Letgo,"shebreathed
athislips."Letgo,Evan.It'sallright,darling,youwon'thurtme.It'sallright.Letgo,Evan...letgo...!"
"Anna!"Hernamewasatormentedgroanashegaveintohercoaxingandsuddenlydrove
feverishlyforfulfillment.Helosthisfearofhurtingherandeveryvestigeofcontrol,intheviolent
needtoexperienceecstasy,tosatisfythethrobbing,savageacheinhisloins.
Eventhroughherownbuildingpleasure,Annawatchedhimachieveit.Asshefeltthecrushofhis
armsandtheweightofhim,shesawhistorsolift,hisbackarchtautly,hisfacecontortasifwiththe
mostincrediblekindofagony.Hethrewbackhisheadandcriedout,shudderingagainstherso
violentlythatshethoughthemightactuallyloseconsciousness.
Whenhestiffenedandfellheavilyagainsther,shewasstillshiveringwithherownunsatisfiedneed.
Sheclutchedathisbroadshoulders,bitinghimhelplesslyasshemovedunderhisweight.Whenhe
startedtolifthiships,shecaughtthemwithhernailsandheldhimthere.
"No,please...!"shesobbed.
"Almost,butnotquite,isthatit,sweetheart?"hewhisperedhuskily."Givemeyourmouth,little
one,andholdontight.I'llsatisfyyoucompletely,now."
Sheturnedherfaceupandhekissedhergently,histonguesuddenlystabbingintohermouthashis
hipsroseandfellslowly.
Ittookonlyseconds.Shesobbedherpleasureunderhismouth,sorackedbyecstasythatshecould
onlyclingtohimwhiletherhythmwrungeverylastsilverybitofstrengthoutofher.
Hekissedthetearsaway,butshestillwouldn'tletgoofhim.
"Allright,"hewhispered,smilingthroughhisexhaustionashesettledbackoverher,hisforearms
catchinghisweight.Hekissedhergently,softkissesthatcalmedandsoothedandcomforted.Allthat
worry,hethoughtruefully,andfornothing!Hehadn'tkilledherafterall,evenif,forafewdelicious
seconds,shehadsoundedasthoughsheweredying.
"Don'tgoaway,"shewhispered."Holdme."
Hekissedherverygently."ItwasforyourownsakethatIwasmovingaway,notformine.Ithought
youmightbeuncomfortable.Itwasdifficultforyou."
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Herarmscontracted."Iloveyou,"shewhispered."Itwasheaven."
"Forme,too."Hesighedsoftlyandrestedhischeekagainsthers,hiseyesclosedashesavoredher
softnessunderhim."Areyouallright?Itdidn'thurttoomuch?"
"No."Shenibbledathisearlobe."Nowwillyoustoprunningfromme?"
"DoIhaveachoice?"Helookeddownathertenderly."Youtookmewithoutfear,"hesaid,his
voicecoloringwithprideandpleasure.
"Yes."Sheblushedalittleanddroppedhereyestohismouth.
"Noneofthat."Hetiltedherfaceupandsearchedhershyeyes."Ididn'tholdback.Icouldn't.We
neverdiscussedprecautions..."
Herfacebrightened."Icouldbepregnant."
Thewayshesaiditmadehisheartlift."Yes."Hesmoothedbackherlong,softblondhair."You're
veryyoung."
"Notthatyoung."Sheliftedherselftohismouthandbegantokisshim,slowly,seductively.
"It'stoosoon,"hesaidhuskily."Youneedtimetogetoverwhatwejustdid."
Shedid,butshehatedthethoughtofgivinguptheclosenesstheyweresharing.Hereyestoldhimso.
"Comehere."Hewrappedherupagainsthimandpulledthesheetoverthem,pausingtobrusha
kissacrosshernosebeforehisarmcontractedaroundher,bringingherevencloser."We'llsleepabit
longer."
"Andthen?"shewhispered.
Hesmiled."Andthen."
Sheclosedherowneyes,slidingintoadeepanddreamlesssleep.Whensheawoke,thesmellofbeig-
nets-littlesquaresugar-dusteddoughnuts-andjamandfreshcoffeefilledtheroom.
"Hungry?"Evanasked.Hewaswearinghisslacksandnothingelse,andhelookedyoungerand
lightheartedandtotallyloving.Thatcouldhavebeenatrickofthelight,ofcourse,shetoldherself.
Butshecoulddream.
"I'mstarved,"sheconfessed,sittingup.
Hepulledthesheetawayandlookedather,hiseyesdarkeningwithpossession."My,God,youareso
beautiful,"hesaid,hisvoicedeepanduneven.
"Flatterer,"shewhisperedsoftly.
Hesatdownbesideher,hiseyessearchingherswhilehishandsstrokedslowlydownherbody.She
caughtherbreathandstiffenedwithpleasureandhebenttokissthehardenedtipsofherbreasts.
Butwhenshetriedtotraphismouthagainsther,heshookhisheadandpulledaway."It'stoosoonfor
you,"hesaid,hiseyesfulloftenderwisdom."We'vegottherestofourlivestoloveeachotherin
bed."
"Itfeltlikethat,"shesaidsoftly."Like...loving,Imean."
"Shouldn'tit?"heasked,hiseyesholdinghers."Whentwopeopleloveeachotherasmuchaswedo?"
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Herheartstoppedbeating."You...don't,"shewhispered.
"ThenwhydidImarryyou,littleone?"heaskedquietly."IfsexwasallIwanted,anywomanwould
havedone."
Shethoughtshemightfaint.
"IwastryingtospareyouwhatLouisasufferedatmyhands."Hesmiledbitterly."Sheneverloved
me,Anna.AndIneverknewit.Untilyoutoldme."
Herbreathwastrappedsomewhereinherthroat.
Hetouchedherfacewithabig,gentlehand."IwassacrificingmyhappinessforwhatIthoughtwas
yours.AfterwhatLouisahadsaidtome,Iwasterrifiedofhurtingyoulikethat.Andyouwereso
young...ButwhenRandalltoldmeyouweremarryinghim,IthoughtI'dgomad,"hechoked."That
wasbadenough.Butyouweremugged,andIdidn'tevenknowituntilhourslater.Youcouldhave
died,andIwouldn'thavebeenthere,withyou.Yourlastmemoryofmewouldhavebeenoftheway
I'dhurtyou,"hesaidroughly.
Tearsstunghereyes.Whathefeltwasnakedinhisface,inhisvoice.Whyhadn'tsheseenit,known
it?"You...loveme!"sheexclaimed,awed.
"Love.Adore.Worship."Heframedherfaceinhishandsandkissedherwithachingtenderness.
"Oh,God,you'retheverybreathinmybody!"
Heboreherdownonthemattress,hismouthardentandfaintlyroughwithpassion,hishands
insistentonherbodyashekissedher.Shegaveunstint-ingly,lovinghimsodeeplythatithurt.
"Iloveyou,"hewhisperedfinally,hismouthagainstherthroat."I'lldielovingyou."
Sheheldhim,hereyesclosed,herheartoverflowing."Iloveyou,too,Evan,"shesaiddrowsily.
"Endlessly."
Hebentagaintohermouth,thelookinhiseyesbeforehekissedhersoadoringthatshemeltedunder
him.Thekisswentonandonandon,intolevelsthey'dnevertouchedbefore.
Finallyhemanagedtodraghimselfaway."You'dbettereatsomething,"hemurmured,hisvoice
faintlyunsteady."Ihavetobuildupyourstrengthforthenextfewdays,afteryou'vehadtimeto
recuperate."
Shelaughedandlookedupathim."Thatgoesdoubleforyou,"shemurmureddemurely."You'renot
theonlyonewithexpectations."
Heburstoutlaughing.Aminutelaterhepickedherupinhisbigarmsandcarriedhertothebreakfast
table.Forthefirsttimehegloriedinhisstrength,inhertrustingsubmissiontoit.Alltheghostswere
laidtorest,now.Helookeddownather,sosoftinhisarms,andfeltasifhehadeverything.Hesat
downatthetablewithAnnacuddledinhislap.Notcontentwiththat,hespoon-fedhereverysingle
bite.
Fromthatmomenton,theywereinseparable,andeverydaybroughtanewandardentmemory.
Anna'snightmaresfaded,andherpainfulexperiencewiththemuggerbecamenothingmorethana
baddream.Weekslater,abig,brutalmanwasfoundinabackalleydeadofadrugoverdose.Hewas
asuspectin
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severalviolentrobberiesinHouston,thepapersaid,andatleastonerape.Aviolentendforaviolent
man,buthisdeathgaveAnnapeace.
PollyandDukesettleddowntoahappylifetogether,whileAnnaandEvanmovedintoanewly
remodeledhouseontheTremayneranch,aweddingpresentfromEvan'sbrothers.Itincludedastudio
forAnna,andshewentbacktoherpaintingwithavengeance.Butinadditiontoherlandscapesshe
didoneportrait-ofhernewhusband.
"DoIreallylooklikethat?"heaskeddrylyasheclaspedherlooselybythewaistandlookedover
hershoulderattheveryflatteringpainting.
"Tome,youdo,"shesaid,hereyesfulloflove.
Hesmiledbeforehebenttokissher.Theoldspecterofhissizeandstrengthweregoneforever.
SecureinthewarmthofAnna'slove,hecouldn'thaveaskedforanothersinglething,asentimentshe
echoedwithherwholeheart.
TableofContents
ChapterOne
ChapterTwo
ChapterThree
ChapterFour
ChapterFive
ChapterSix
ChapterSeven
ChapterEight
ChapterNine
ChapterTen
ChapterEleven