COLD(BOOKFOUR)

ELLALONDON

FAVORFORDPUBLISHING

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COLD(BOOKFOUR)BYELLALONDON

C H A P T E R 1

hishadtobethelowestdayinBria’slife.

Shestoodoutsidethefuneralhome,butcouldn’tmakeherselfgoinquiteyet.

IthadbeenalmostaweeksinceshewalkedoutofAshton’slifeandtheheavyfeeling
insideherchesthadonlygottenworse.

Notonlydidshehavetoattendhersister’sfuneraltoday,butthefightwithAshton

hadalsokeptherawakethepastfivenights.

Yesmaybeshehadoverreactedandpushedalittletoohard,butAshtonhadtosee

thathismother’sweddingwasaffectinghimdespitewhathe’dsaid.

Briaonlywantedtobethereforhimlikehe’dbeenforher.TalkingaboutShanahad

actuallyhelpedmorethansherealized.Forthefirsttimesincetheaccidentshecould
takeabreathandnotfeeltheheavyweightofguiltpressingdownonher.

Hearing another person say it wasn’t her fault meant more than she could ever

explain.

SincetalkingabouteverythingwithAshton,Briahadevenopeneduptoherparents

andtoldthemshe’dfeltresponsiblefortheaccident.Therehadbeenlotsoftearsand
tissueswhereherparentsadmittedtheyblamedthemselvestoo.

Briahadnoideathattheyhadcarriedaroundthesameguiltshehadallthistime.
They’dsharedafewstoriesaboutShana,onesfrombeforethedrugs,whichmade

them all laugh. It felt good to remember her how she used to be. Bria didn’t know
when the last time was that she thought about the sister she knew when they were
growingup.

Hermotherhaddugupseveralphotostohaveblownuptoputnexttothecasket.It

had been so long that Bria barely recognized the healthy and smiling version of her
sister, but being able to see her like that helped to remind Bria that it hadn’t all been
painfulandbad.

ShanadeservedtohavethisonelastbeautifulthingdoneinherhonorandBriahad

doneherbesttomakeitthebestshecouldafford.Itwasn’telaboratebyanystretch,
modestyetclassicwithbasicchoicesthefuneralhomeoffered.Splurgingforthepink
roseshadbeentheoneluxuryBriahadgonefor.

Alargebouquetwouldsitnexttothecasket,nexttoShana.
Briawipedatearfromthecornerofhereyeandpushedthedoorsopen.Intwenty

minutesthepeoplethathadbeeninvitedwouldarriveandshewantedtomakesure

everythinglookedperfect.

“Hello Ms. Long.” A tall thin man in a tailored suit stepped out from the office as

soon as she stepped inside. “Everything is prepared and ready for the service. Would
youliketotakealook?”

She nodded and reached into her purse. “The first installment like we agreed on.

Thankyouagainforlettingmedothis…”

Mr.Foresthelduphishandandhandedthecheckbacktoher.“It’sbeentakencare

ofalready.”

Shestaredathiminconfusion.“Idon’tunderstand.”Therewasnowayherparents

hadthemoneytopayforthefuneral.

“Someone has come forward and paid for everything. They also changed some of

thedecorationsfortheservice.Ifyou’dcaretostepinsideIcanshowyou.Ithinkyou’ll
bequitepleased.”

Bria followed the director into the small side room where the service would take

place.Acasketsatatthefrontoftheroom,butitwasafarcryfromtheplainwhiteone
she had ordered. The beautiful ivory gleamed in the soft light and brushed nickel
hardwareadornedtheedgesandmadeintricatescrollingpatternsalongtheside.

EvenfromacrosstheroomBriacouldseecreamysatinliningtheinsidewhereshe

knew her sister’s body lay. The pictures of Shana were now in gold frames on fancy
easelsandthecasketwassurroundedbydozensanddozensofpinkrosesarrangedin
hugevases.AwideswagofrosesandgreenerysatatthebasewithShana’snameona
silverplaque.

Thishadtohavecostasmallfortune,yetitwassobeautifulandexactlywhatBria

wishedshecouldhavedoneforhersister.

She pressed her fingers to her lips. “Who paid for all this?” Her voice was only a

whisperbutthedirectorshookhisheadwithasmallsmile.

“The person wishes to remain anonymous, but I can share that they only wanted

theverybestfortheservice.Ihopeeverythingmeetswithyoursatisfaction,Ms.Long.”

She could only nod. It had to have been Ashton. No one else could have done

somethingonthisscale.Briaandherparentsaside,therewereonlyShana’scaretakers
whoevencaredthatshehaddied,andnonewouldhavepaidfortheelaborateservice.

DamnAshtonCarter.
“It’sperfect,”shesaid,tearsblurringhervision.
Withoutherjob,themoneyforthefuneralwouldhavetakenupeverylastcentplus

some.Now,Briadidn’thavetoworryabouthowshe’dswingrentnextmonth.

ThankstoAshton.
Again.
Hekeptappearinginherlifewhenshewasatherlowestandevenaftershequitand

lefthim,he’ddonethisforher.

Andyes,sheknewshe’doverreactedwhenherefusedtoshareabouthismother.A

few weeks ago Bria would have done the same thing if anyone pressed her about
Shana.Iftherewasanyonewhoknewaboutpain,itwasher,andtheselastfewdays
alonehadmadeherseethattheblowupwasherfault.

ShehadsharedwhenshewasreadyandexpectinganythingelsefromAshtonwas

disrespectful.Toobadshe’drealizedhermistakeonlyaftershe’dwalkedoutonhim.

“If there’s nothing else you need, I’m going to go get ready to greet friends and

family,”thedirectorsaid.Hisvoiceactedlikeabalmagainsthernerves;soothingand
calmandithelpedhertopushdownthetears.

“Thankyou.Thankyouforeverything.”
Briastoodaloneintheroomandcouldn’tkeephergazefrommovingtothecasket.

Her chest tightened and she swallowed against the lump in her throat. She couldn’t
helphersisteranymore.

Time was gone now.Noise at the doorway pulled her from her thoughts and she

turnedtoseeherparentsenteringtheroom.WhenhermothermetBria’sstare,tears
spilledoverthewoman’scheeks.Shepressedahandkerchieftoherfacewhilemaking
herwayover.

Briacouldn’thelpbutnoticehowmucholderherparentslookedtoday.Ofcourse

losingyourdaughtermightaddafewyearson.

She was sure she didn’t look that hot either. Sleepless nights and no appetite had

wrecked havoc on her body and the dark circles under her eyes were visible even
underthreelayersofconcealer.

HermomwrappedherarmsaroundBriaandpulledherintoatighthug.
“Everything looks beautiful. Shana would have loved all the flowers.” When her

mom pulled away Bria stepped into her dad’s arms. The familiar scent of Old Spice
filledherlungsandsheinhaledgreedylungfuls.

Thesmellalwaysmadeherfeelsafe.
“Youdidagoodjob,”hesaid,hisvoicegravellywithemotion.Heclearedhisthroat

andtookastepback toputhisarm aroundhermom.Noneof themsaidit,but they
hadallthoughtaboutbeingrightinthisspotoneday,especiallywhenShanawasusing
heavily.

ToomanynightswerespentnotknowingwhereShanawasandfearingtheworst.
Nowshewashomeinawaynoneofthemhadseencoming.
BriaandherparentsstoodsidebysideasthehandfulofstafffromHeartlandmade

theirwayintotheroom,andthentheceremonyhadbegun.

Bria’smotherspokeandgaveawonderfuleulogy.
By the time the ceremony ended, Bria felt empty. Drained. The car ride to the

cemeterywasquiet,onlybrokenwhenherfathercommentedonhownicethefuneral
hadbeen.

The staff had said their goodbyes at the funeral home, so it was only Bria and her

parents for the burial. Shana would not have wanted everyone watching her being
loweredintotheground.

Thepastorfromherparents’churchsaidafewwordsandBriasteppedforwardto

layapinkroseontopofthecoffin.Herparentsdidthesameandthenthecasketwas
lowered.SoftsobscamefromhermomassheleanedonBria’sdad.Theystayeduntil
themechanismstoppedwhirring.

ThepastorsteppeduptotalkwithhermomanddadandBriatookafewstepsaway.

Thebackofhernecktingledwithawarenessandsheslowlylookedup.Ashtonstooda
fewfeetaway,dressedinadarksuitwithhishandsclaspedinfrontofhim.

Herheartpoundedagainstherchest.
He’dcome.

Hewashereforher.
Briadrankinthesightofhim.Ithadonlybeenafewdaysbutitfeltlikealifetime.

Shewantedtoruntohim,tothrowherselfintohisarmsandloseherselfinhistouch,
buthisexpressionhadnotchanged.

Shehadnoideawhattodobutonethingwasforcertain,shehadtothankhimfor

whathe’ddone.Herheelssankintothegrassasshemadeherwaytohim.Whenshe
stopped and looked up, she could see the bags under his eyes. There was scruff
shadowinghischeeksthatmadehimlookevenmorehandsome.

Sheachedtotouchhim,butinsteadtwistedherfingersintoherskirt.
“Thankyou,”shesaidsoftly.“Everythingwasbeautiful.”
Henodded,hisdarkgazesinkingintohers.Shelostherselfforamoment,unableto

lookaway.Everynerveinsideherscreamedtostepintohisarms.Toburyhernosein
hisneckandtoholdonandnotletgothistime.

Shewanteditsobadlythatherbodytrembled.
“Youcame?”
Againhenodded.
“Why?”sheasked.
Insteadofansweringherhetookastepcloserandreachedouttolayhishandalong

herjaw.Hetiltedherheadupsothatshehadtolookathim.Hiseyebrowsdrewdown
andwhatlookedlikeconcernflashedoverhisface.Shewantedhimtotellherthathe
missedher,thatheneededhertoo.

“Howareyoudoing?”Hislowvoicesankdownthroughherskinandsettledinher

bones. If he wasn’t going to give her his emotions, then she would take his strength.
Shetiltedherheadalittleintohistouch,savoringtheheatfromhisfingers.

She was going to lie, to tell him that everything was just fine, but he brushed his

thumboverherlipsandsuckedinabreathandshewaslost.

“I’mnotokay,”shechokedout.Tearsprickledthebackofhereyesandsheblinked

rapidlytotryandkeepfrombreakingdowninfrontofhim.Itwasnouse.He’dlether
bevulnerableandallhermindcouldthinkaboutwashowmuchsheneededtoleanon
someone.Sheneededhisarmsaroundher.

ButAshtondidn’tpullhercloser,onlystoodnearwithhishandonherface.
“Youneedtotakecareofyourself,Bria.”
Hernameonhislipsmadeherkneesweak.“Iknow.It’sjustbeenhardthelastfew

days…”Sheletthewordstrailoffandhopedthathewouldadmitthey’dbeenhardfor
himaswell.Shecouldseethestrainonhisfacebutdidn’tknowifitwasbecausehe
missedherorsomethingcompletelyunrelated.

“Iwantyoutocomebacktowork.Thisweekwillbepaid,bereavementasItoldyou

before,butstartingMondayI’dlikeyoutoreturntoyourposition.”

Briawasnotpreparedforthat.Partofherwasoverjoyedthatshewouldgettokeep

the job she so hastily walked away from, but the other part, the one that housed her
heart,wonderedwhatthatmeantforthetwoofthem.

Whatabouttheirrelationship?Wheredidshestand?
Ashtongavenoindicationthathewantedtoresumetheirrelationshipthough,and

he even took a step back, letting his hand fall back to his side. “Think about it,” he
continued. “You don’t have to make any decisions right this moment.” His gaze slid

pasthertowherehersisterwasburied.

Herskinhadgonecoldassoonasheletgoofher.Briawrappedherarmsaround

herselftokeepfromshivering,ascloudsbegantodarkentheskyandthetemperature
dropped.

Thewindwaspickingupnow.
Ashton’sgazemovedbacktoher,hewasstaringintohereyesagain.Heatblazedin

hisgazeandittookherbreathaway.

Shestartedtotakeastepforward,tolethimknowthatshewasalsowilling,when

hesuckedinabreathandspunaround.Hisstepswerelongandsureasthistime,he
walkedawayfromher.

Chapter

UBBLES

ROSE

aroundherasBriasankintoatubfilledwithhotwater.

BriahaddecidedshewasdefinitelygoingacceptAshton’sofferandgobacktowork

onMonday.

ShestillneededtoapologizefordemandingAshtonopenuptoher.Shecouldadmit

tobeingwrong.Maybethentheycouldfigureoutwhatitmeantforthetwoofthem.
She wasn’t sure she could go back to fielding calls from his lovers, but if he wasn’t
interestedinheranymore,shehadtoacceptthat.

Briaknewitwasn’taforevertypeofdeal,nomatterhowhardshehopeditmight

be.

Lightninglitupthenightoutsidethebathroomandthunderstartedtorumbleinthe

distance.

She stepped from the tub on wobbly legs and wrapped a thick towel around her

body. The hot water had done its job and she felt boneless. She was a glass of wine
awayfromcompleterelaxation.

Rainpatteredagainstthewindowpanenow,providingsoothingbackgroundnoise.
Shepulledherhairintoamessybunontopofherheadanddriedherbody,then

slipped into a pair of light blue yoga pants and an oversized Patriots sweatshirt.
Heaven.Herapartmentwastinybyanyone’sstandardanditonlytookherafewsteps
togettothekitchen.

AbottleofPinotGrigiohadbeenchillingalldayandshewasreadytoloseherselffor

thenight.Therainwasreallycomingdownnow,butitdidn’tmatter.Shehadnowhere
tobe,andcurlinguponthecouchsoundedliketheperfectwaytoendtheday.She’d
justpoppedthecorkwhensomeonebuzzedherapartment.

Her parents had texted to let her know they were home and Bria literally had no

friends that would just drop by. It was probably someone in the building who forgot
theirkeyandneededtobeletin.

Shepaddedtothewindowandlookeddownthetwostoriestothestreet.Afigure

stoodonthestoopintherain,butshedidn’tneedthestreetlighttoknowwhoitwas.
Sheknewthosebroadshoulders.Thatdominatingpresence.Shehadthoughtaboutit
formanylongnights.

Ashtonwasoutthere.
Herfingersshookasshebuzzedhiminandwaited.
Of course he knew where she lived, she was his employee after all. That didn’t

explainwhyhewasherenow,though.Bythetimesheheardhisknockonthedoor,
herheartwaspoundinghardenoughtoburstfromherchest.

She opened the door and Ashton stood there, soaking wet in the suit he’d had on

earlier.Itclungtohisbodyandhebracedhishandsonthedoorframeasifhewasn’t
surehewantedtocomein.

“What’swrong?”sheaskedhim.
Hisgazemadeitswayupherbody,ignitingfireeverywherehelookeduntilfinally

hemetherstare.Darkeyesmethersandshelosttheabilitytobreathe.Rawhunger
blazedfromthedepthsthatnowheldherprisoner.Hisneedbecamehersandshefelt
herselfgettingwet.Herbodyburnedforhim.

She sucked air into her lungs and his gaze dropped to her chest. Her nipples had

pebbled and were so hard that they showed through her shirt. An animalistic sound
rumbledinhischest.

Heletgoofthedoorandpushedinside,crowdingheragainsttheclosestwall.The

doorclosedwithaclickandshewasengulfedinhisscent,intheheatradiatingfromhis
body.Hersweatshirtgrewdampfromthewatersoakedintohisclothing.Heheldher
there,hisglitteringgazepinningherinplace.

Againstherstomachshecouldfeelhowhardhewasandalowmoanescapedfrom

herlips.Shearchedherback,desperateforthescratchofclothoverherachingnipples.
Ashtonslidhisfingersdownherarmsandclaspedherwristsbeforeraisingthemover
herhead.Hekeptherhandspinnedtherewithonlyoneofhisandusedtheotherto
slidebehindherneckandholdhercompletelystill.

“Whyareyouhere?”sheaskedbreathlessly.Shedesperatelyneededtoknowthat

hewastherebecausehewantedtobewithherasmuchasshewantedhim.Fivedays
hadfeltlikeaneternitytoherandshemissedhimmorethanshethoughtpossible.

Couldherheartreallyhandlethat?
Shemethisstormygazeheadon.“Ashton,Ineedtoknow.”
Hisfacegotharderandhiseyesswirledwithsomekindofbattlewaginginsidehim.

Heshookhishead,glaredather,thensuckedinaharshbreath.

“I don’t make promises,” he ground out. “I won’t be the person who breaks them

and causes pain.” His grip on her hair tightened and he lowered his head until they
werenose-to-nose,lipsalmosttouching.Hisgazeburnedintohersuntilshefeltlikeshe
was a part of him. “But I can’t fucking stay away from you, Bria. I tried but I can’t
fuckingdoitanymore.”

Herheartsoaredathisadmission.
“So don’t,” she said on an exhale. “I’m afraid too. But I’m willing if you are. Take

thatrisknow.Withme.”

Theyweresoclosethatshecouldfeelthepoundingofhisheart.Couldalmostsee

theflamesburninginthedepthsinhiseyes.Ithurttobreathe.Herchestconstricted.It
feltasifeverythinghadbeenbuildinguptothismomentandshecouldn’tholdback
anymore.

“Ineedyou,”hemurmured.

“Iwon’tpushyoutosharemorethanyou’rewilling,Ashton.That’smypromiseto

you.Whateveryouhavetogive,Iwant.Imissedyouandjustwantyou…”

Hismouthcrashedoverhers,lipsandtonguetakingeverythingshehadtogiveand

thensome.Boldstrokesofhistongueturnedherbonestojelly.Allshecoulddowas
standthere,pinnedtothewallbyhishandandbody,andgivehimeverythingheasked
for.

“Iamsofuckingcrazyaboutyou,Ms.Long,”hegrowledintohermouth.“Andthe

onethingIcanpromiseisthatI’llshowyoujusthowmuchoverandoveragain.”

His mouth was ravenous as he consumed her. She moaned and he swallowed it

withthegreedofastarvingman.Whenhereleasedherwristssheletherhandsdriftto
hisshoulders.

Ashton pressed her harder into the wall and she felt every inch of him covering

everyinchofher.

Andthenhegrippedherassandliftedher,pinnedheragainstthewallsothatshe

couldwrapherlegsaroundhiswaist.

Nowshecoulddefinitelyfeeleveryinchofhimanditwaspressingagainstherclit

throughherthinyogapants.Aloanmoanwrenchedfrombetweenherlips.

“Can’t stay away from you. Tired of trying.” His words were broken up between

devastatingkissesandtheflexingofhishipsthatmadeherseestars.“Iwantyou.Only
you.Justlikethis,everyday,everynight.”

Bria might have groaned out yes or maybe it was only an echo in her head. She

wasn’t sure of anything at the moment except that she was one the verge of orgasm
eventhoughtheybothstillhadtheirclotheson.

He lifted his head so that he could look into her eyes. He rocked his hips, never

lettinguponthepressure.Hiscockwasrockhardandtookherrighttotheedge.

“Ohgod,”shepanted,drivinghernailsintothebackofhisneck.“Ashton,I’mgoing

to…”Herbreathhitched.

“Come,”hecommanded.
He held her as her body shook uncontrollably. Pleasure burst over her in white

waveswheresoundceasedandallshecoulddowasclingtohimsoshedidn’tflyaway.
His name was a garbled moan from her throat and his breath was warm against her
lipsasshedrankhimin.

“Fuck,”hegrowled,lettingherlegsslidetothefloor.
Beforeshecouldmove,hewasyankingheryogapantsdownaroundherkneesand

thenheflippedheraroundsothatherhandswerebracedonthewall.Hepresseddown
on her lower back, exerting enough pressure so that she arched back under his
guidance,whichcausedherasstostickoutevenmore.

Hisbreathhissedfrombetweenhisteethandthenhewasthere,pressinghishard

cockbetweenherlegs…

“Oh god,” she shouted when he slammed inside, making her dig her nails against

thewall.Herpussyclenchedaroundhimwhenhepulledbackandthrustinagain.The
pleasurespiralbeganagainandthistimeitstartedoutonthehighnoteandjustpulled
hertighterandtighter.

Ashtonleanedforward,bracedhishandsoverthetopofhersandshecouldfeelhis

wetshirtagainstherbackashishipsrocked,drivinghiscockinandoutinarelentless

rhythm.

TheywerebothmoaningandgaspingandAshtoncurledhisfingers,takingherwith

them until he was clutching her hands. His teeth scraped along her shoulder. A
shudderrippledthroughherasthesensationsbecametoomuch.

“Ashton.” His name was a plea. A cry for more. She put everything into that one

word.

Hepulledback,thrustdeeponce,thenagain.
Herbodystartedtoshake.
Hethickenedandfilledherperfectly,completely.Hisbreathwasharshinherear,

hismovementgettingwilder,rougher,harder.

Sheshoutedhisnameagainandheswelledevenmore.Alowgrowlcamefromhis

throat.

“Wantyoutocomewithme,”hedemanded.“Rightnow.Fuckingcomerightnow,

Bria.” As he said each word he drove into her and when he said her name, she
explodedinashowerofsparksandscreams.

Ashtonwentrigidandshefelthimpulsinginsideherasherpussyclampeddown,

milked his cock for every drop. They were frozen together, panting for breath and
coveredinasheerofsweat.Hedrewherhandsagainstherbodywithoutlettinggo.She
stoodinhisembrace,pressedbackagainsthimashetriedtocatchhisbreath.

Something let go inside her chest and she could feel herself falling the rest of the

way.Ashtonwaswhoshewanted.Theideaofanothermantouchingherlikethismade
herstomachclench.

Thishard,dominating,brokenmanwashersnow.
Ashepressedhislipstothecrookofherneckshemeltedbackagainsthim.
Iloveyou.
The words were only in her head, for now, but even thinking them made her

happierthanshehadbeeninaverylongtime.

C H A P T E R 2

riawasn’tsurewhichwasmoresoothing,thefeelofAshtonholdingherclose,or
the sound of the rain outside. She knew which one she preferred though, and

snuggledcloser,burrowingagainsthim.

“I’mgladyoucameover,”shesaid.“I’vemissedyou.”
“Imissedyoutoo.”
Briasmiled,turningandlookingupathim.
Then she slid down and kissed along the ridges of his stomach. His low moan of

satisfactionmadehersmileagainsthishotskin.

Ashtonbrushedhisfingersthroughherhair.Briasighedinrelief.Hewasn’tpulling

away. He brushed his lips over the top of her head, then tucked her tight against his
side.

“I’mcomingbacktowork.”Sheliftedenoughsothatshecouldseehiseyes.Asmile

ghostedoverhislips.

“Itwasn’treallyanoption,butgoodtoknowyouweregoingtoanyway.”
Sheplayfullyhithisside.ItfeltgoodtoberelaxedaroundAshton.Shereallyliked

thissideofhim.Buttherewassomethingsheneededtosayandnowwasasgoodas
any.

“I’m sorry about the other day. I shouldn’t have pried like that and I won’t do it

again,Ipromise.Youjust…”Shekissedhischestandthenlookedintohiseyes.“You
make me feel so safe and protected and I guess I wanted to be that for you too. I
wantedyoutoknowthatyoucanopenupwithmeandI’llbethereforyouthrough
anything.”

Shespokethewordsinherheartandhopedthatheknewshemeantthem.
“Godsweetheart,youreallyknowhowtobringamantohisknees.”Ashtonbrushed

histhumboverherjawbeforeleaningdowntokissher.Softslowstrokesofhistongue
bothsoothedandexcitedher.

Hepulledbackwhenshetriedtodeepenthekiss.
“Sometimes I just react instinctively when it comes to my family.” Once again he

cradled her head and pulled her down to rest against his chest. “My childhood was
pretty rough and I did spend time in foster homes, like the media reported when I
became someone of interest. The other part of my childhood I don’t talk about to
anyone.”

Hepausedandsheheardhisraggedinhale.Shewasjustabouttotellhimhedidn’t

needtosayanythingelse,whenhisvoicelowered.

“My mother had a parade of men in and out of our lives since I can remember.

Someweren’tbadbutsome,somewerecruelbastardswhodidn’tthinkanythingabout
hurtingakid.”

BriasuckedinabreathandwrappedherarmaroundAshton.Ithurttoknowhe’d

beentreatedthatway.“Yourmothernevertriedtostopit?”

Ashtonshorted.“Notsuresheevennoticed.Shewasallaboutherself,andIcamein

a distant second behind her flavor of the week. Sometimes it would get bad enough
that social services would step in and remove me, but once the guy was gone, I’d be
sentback.Itwentonforyears.Afewtimestheguysweredecenttome,andImadethe
mistakeoftrustingthem.Someofthemmadestupidpromisesthatdidn’tmeanmuch
tothem,buttoatenyearoldwithnofather,wellit’skindofabigdeal.Ithinkithurt
moretobeletdownthanwhenthey’dhitme.Ithinkthat’swhenIstartedreallyhating
mymother.Sheletthemintoourlivesandsheletthemhurtme.”

Her heart was breaking for ten-year-old Ashton, and for the man in bed with her

now. He’d been through so much and had come out such an amazing person. Bria
leaneduponherelbowsandkissedalonghisneck,uptohisjaw.

“That’swhytheinvitationmadeyousomad.Becauseofherpasthistorywithmen?”
“Yes.”Hesighed.“ThelastthingIfuckingneedistocelebratemymother’snewboy

toy.Itmakesmesick.”

Despitethepaininhisvoice,Briacouldn’thelpbutfeelarushofrelief.
He’ddoneitonhisown.Openeduptoher.He’dsharedthedarkestpartofhispast

andhadn’tpulledaway.Hehadn’tclosedofftoheratall.Infact,he’dtoldherthings
abouthimselfthatnooneelseknew.

Hetrustedher.
Bria slid her legs over his thighs to straddle his hips. She trailed her fingers down

overhisshoulders,alongthedipsofhisstomach.Hismusclesjumpedunderhertouch.

“Letmemakeyoufeelgood,Ashton,”shewhispered.
Thensheleanedoverandranhertonguealonghiscollarbone.Hegroanedandshe

felthimstarttoswellagainstherstomach.Inchbytorturousinch,shemadeherway
downoverhischest,stoppingtoflickathisnipplebeforepullingitbetweenherteeth.

Ashtonliftedhishipsandrubbedhiscockalonghermiddle.
Ashtongrowledlowinhisthroatandsuckedhernipplebetweenhislips.
“Youmakemesowet,”shesaidintohisear.Shesatback,butnotbeforehesankhis

teethintothehardbudjusthardenoughtomakehergaspwithpleasure.Itthrobbed
whenitpoppedfreeandshelaidherpalmsflatonhischesttocatchherbreath.

She felt his thick cock as she slid backwards and she wanted him again, right that

second.

Brialiftedherhipsandangledsothatshewaspoisedrightoverhim,thensliddown

thelength,sheathinghiminside.

Theybothletoutaloudgrown.
Hegrippedherhips,rockingherbackandforthonhimwhileshestruggledtofocus.
“Godyouaresobeautiful,”hegroundout.
Emotionfilledherchestandsheclosedhereyesforamoment.Briafocusedonthe

sensations shooting through her body with each movement of her hips. The
desperationwasgonethistimeandshesavoredeverysinglestroke.

“Ilovethatyou’retheonlymanwho’sbeeninsideme,”shegaspedout.
Ashtongroanedandshefelthimthickeninsideher,fillingherthatmuchfuller.She

wantedtobeghimtopromisethathe’dbethelast,butshedidn’twanttopushtonight.
He’dopeneduptoheranditfeltlikeagiantstepforward.

Shedidn’twanttostepback.
“I love that it was your tongue between my legs that made me come for the first

time.” A cry wrenched from her throat when he surged upwards, rocked her up and
down on the long hard length of him. “That your cock was the first one to be in my
mouth,thatyouwerethefirstclimaxIgottotaste,”shepanted.

Hisfingersdugintoherandhewasslammingherupanddownnow.Hiseyeswere

onfireandtheyburnedintohers.Shefeltuninhibited.Free.Thewayhereactedtoher
wordsmadeherfeelmorepowerfulthansheeverhadbefore.

Ashton growled low in his throat. He was pounding up into her with fierce rough

strokesandeverysingleonehitthatspotinsideherthatcatapultedhertotheedgeof
sanity.Shetightenedaroundhim,swollenandsensitiveandreadytoexplode.

“But what I love most of all,” she said between gasps, “is that you can make me

comewithjustoneword.”BrialookedintoAshton’seyesandfeltthetensioncoildeep
inhergut.Shewasrightthere;allsheneededwasAshtontopushherover.“Tellmeto
come,”shebegged.“Tellmetocomeforyou,Ashton.”

“Fuck,” he groaned. His grip tightened and she reveled in the way the hurt only

fueledthefireinsideher.Heswelledtoimpossiblesizeinsideher,everyinchgrazing
alongherslickinsides,fillinghertight.

“Please,Ashton,”shewhimpered.Sheneededtoletgoaroundhim,forhim.
“I want you to come for me right now,” he demanded, holding her body tight

againsthim,hiscockburiedsodeepthathewasallshecouldfeel.

Herbodyignited.
Exploded.
Briabrokeapartintoamillionblindingpieces.Ashtondroveupwardsonce,twice,

and she felt his cock pulsing inside her as he shouted out his own release. Bria
collapsedontohischest,herbodyjerkingwitheachaftershock.Ashtongroanedevery
timeherpussysqueezedaroundhim.

Afewsecondsormaybeitwasminuteslater,heslidhishandsupherbackandhe

heldhertightagainsthim.Hisfingerstangledinherhair,gentlysqueezingagainsther
scalp.Theirharshmixedbreathingfilledhersmallbedroomastheybothtriedtocatch
theirbreath.

“That was the hottest dirty talk ever,” he said into her ear. His voice was low,

gravellyandcompletelyrelaxed.Hekissedalonghercheekandthenburiedhisfacein
herneck.

Shefelthisbodyrelaxandshereachedbackandpulledthecoversupoverthem.

Shedidn’tmove,notyet.Shewantedtolaytherewithhimstillapartofherforalittle
whilelonger.

Thingsweredifferentnow,sheknewthatforcertain.
Ashtonhadconfidedinher.Theyhadsharedtheirdarkestsecretsandfoundtheir

waybacktoeachother.Hewastherewithhernowandhadmadenoindicationthathe
plannedtoleavetonight.Infact,shehadneverfeltclosertoanotherpersoninherlife.

Whathadstartedoutasoneoftheworstdaysinherlifehadbecomethebest.Once

againAshtonhadbeentheretoleanon.Shehadn’thadtobealoneagain.

His breathing evened out and a quick peek showed Bria that his eyes were closed

andhislipsbarelyparted.

She pressed her lips to his neck and snuggled down, her own eyes heavy with

exhaustion.He’dbeenherfirstinsomanywaysandmorethananythingshewanted
himtobeherlast.

Onethingsheknewforsurewasthatshewasfallingforhim.Completely.Totally.

She’dneverbeeninlovebeforeandhewouldbethefirstforthattoo.

C H A P T E R 3

ria didn’t need to wait until Monday to go back to work. The next morning she
wokeinAshton’sarmsanddecidedshedidn’twanttobeseparatedfromhimfor

anotherminute.

Itseemedthathefeltthesametoo,becausehewaitedforhertogetdressed,then

drovethembacktohisapartmentwhereheshoweredandchangedbeforetheyheaded
intotheoffice.

Heevencalledaheadandhadbreakfastwaitingforherathisplace.Enoughcoffee

andpastriestochokeahorseandaveggieomelettodiefor.Sheleftwithherbodyand
heartfilledtothebrim.

Ashtonheldnothingbackastheywalkedintothebuilding,anhourlaterthanusual.

He kept his hand on her lower back and even leaned down to press a kiss to her
shoulderrightbeforetheysteppedontotheelevator.Insteadofgoingtothetopfloor
though,theygotoffwheretheHumanResourceofficewaslocated.

“We’remakingitofficialsothatthere’snodoubtwhat’sgoingonhere,”hesaidin

herear.“Therewillbenomoregossiporrumors.We’retogetherofficially.Inandout
of work.” His heated stare made her pulse leap. God he could make her panties wet
withthatcommandinglook.

Shebitherbottomlip.
Wouldsheevergetenoughofthisman?Alargepartofherdoubtedthatcouldever

happen.

Ashtonknockedonthecloseddoorthenpushedinside.
Mrs.Waterslookedupandshesmiledpolitelyatthem.
“DoyouhavethedocumentsIrequested?”Ashtonasked.
“Yes Mr. Carter. Everything is here and in order. Acknowledgment of workplace

relationship,nondisclosureformsandMs.Long’sagreementnottosueCarterMediaif
thingsdon’tworkout.”

BrialiftedaneyebrowatAshton.
“Standard procedure. I want to make sure there is no misunderstanding from

anyoneatCarterMediaastowhatthepolicyis.”

Briasignedhernamewhereindicatedandthentheyweredone.
“SendupacopytomyofficeMrs.Waters.”
Bria was stunned. Yes she knew things had changed last night, but she had never

thoughtAshtonwouldmaketheirrelationshipofficial,sopublic,quitesosoon.

Itmadeher…giddy.
Withaquickglanceupanddownthehalltomakesuretheywerealone,shethrew

herarmsaroundhisneckandpressedherlipstohis.Heopenedhismouthwhenshe
stroked her tongue along the seam and they were lost in each for what seemed
timeless.

When she finally pulled back, they were both breathing heavier and the bulge in

Ashton’spantsshowedhowmuchhehadlikedthat.

“Comeon,”hegrowledplayfully.“Don’tneedanyonestaringatmydickthisearlyin

themorning.”

Bria grinned. “I’d be happy to step into your office and do some dick-tation, Mr.

Carter,”shesaidwithapurrtohervoice.Theelevatoropenedandtheyweretheonly
onesonitfortheridetothetopfloor.

His hand came down hard on her ass before she knew what he was doing. She

gaspedatthestingofpain.

“Doyouknowwhathappenstobadgirls,Ms.Long?”Thedarkeningofhiseyestold

herthathewouldenjoyshowingherifshedidnot.

The way her stomach clenched at the thought told her that she would very much

enjoybeingshown.Shebitherbottomlipagainandmadehereyesgoinnocentlywide.
“Theygetspanked,Mr.Carter?”

Hungerflaredinhiseyesandhestalkedacrossthesmallspacetocrowdherintothe

corner.Hegrippedherassinhishandsandsqueezedthroughhertightskirt.

“Thatiscorrect,Ms.Long.Iwouldlovetobendyouovermydeskandgooverevery

transgression with the palm of my hand until you beg me to remind you what they
wereoverandoveragain.”

His hot breath washed over her ear and goose bumps exploded on her skin. Holy

hell, she wanted him to do exactly what he said he would. She wanted him to spank
her.Shearchedherback,pressedherassintohishands.

“Yesplease,”sheexhaledroughly.
“You are killing me,” he growled against her throat. The elevator stopped and the

doorsdingedbeforeslidingopen.Thankfullytherewasnooneelseonthetopfloor.

ShestartedtowalktoherdeskonwobblylegswhenAshtonmovedbehindher.He

cuppedthebackofherneckandgentlytiltedherheadtotheside.

“Iwon’tforgetwhatyouaskedfor,sweetheart.Tonightyouarecominghomewith

meandIplanonshowingyoujusthowgoodbeingbadcanbe.”Hebrushedhishand
overherasscheekandBriaalmostmeltedintoapuddleofneed.

Alreadyherpantiesweresoakedandshehadafulldayofworkaheadofher.Maybe

sheshouldjusttakethemoffnow.Asmileturnedherlipsup.Ohyes,deliveringthem
toAshtonalongwithhiscoffeethismorningwouldmakeherabadgirlindeed.

Sheonlyhopedthatshedidn’timplodeintoafieryballofflamesbeforetheyever

madeitbacktohisplace.

REST

of the morning passed with surprising ease, despite her lack of underwear.

They worked in sync and she anticipated what he needed before he asked. Every
meetingandphonecallhadgonesmoothly.

Theonlyblipwaswhenhe’dbeenonthephonewithhisteno’clockconferencecall

and she set down his coffee, along with her panties, in front of him on the desk. His
eyeshadimmediatelygonedarkandhemotionedforhertosteparoundthedesk,to
stand between his legs. She could see the command in his eyes and god did it excite
her.

But Bria shook her head coyly and backed out of his office, blowing him a kiss

before closing the door. His growl could be heard through the wood and it made her
smile.Whenshegotbacktoherdesk,herphonedingedwithanewtext.

WILL

ONLY

MAKE

iteasiertopunishyouwithoutanythingbetweenmyhandandyoursexy

ass,Ms.Long.

KAY

,herplanhadbackfiredonherinaspectacularway.ByteasingAshton,shewas

alsomakingherselfcrazy.Shesatinherchair,pressingherkneestogethertotryand
ease the ache into her center, but every time she heard movement from his office, a
freshwashoffanticipationwouldfloodherbody.

AtnoonAshtonhadameetingwithhisdepartmentheadsintheconferenceroom

andBriahadeverythingreadyandwaiting.Shewasstillverynervoushowtherestof
theemployeesofCarterMediaweregoingtotreather,especiallythemanagement.

Whenthefiveimmaculatelydressedmanagerscameintotheroomtheyeachgave

her a polite nod before sitting. Bria moved around the room, handing out water and
coffeeandassoonasAshtonarrived,shemadeherwayoutoftheroom.

It wasn’t until two hours later, when everyone emerged and she heard loud

laughterthatsherealizedthemeetingwasover.Ashtonmovedpastherdeskandshot
heralookthatwouldhavemeltedherpanties,hadshebeenwearingany.

SuzanneandJeffreystoppedinfrontofherdeskandBriabracedforthecomments

ortheaccusations.SuzannehadahugediamondweddingbandonherfingersoBria
wasn’t sure why the woman would even care, but she forced herself to give them a
politesmile.

“IfIwouldhaveknownhavingasteadywomaninhislifewouldhavemellowedthe

AshtonCarter,I’dhavetriedtofindhimoneyearsago,”Suzannesaidwithafriendly
smile.

“No kidding,” Frank piped in. “Don’t know that I’ve ever seen the boss smile that

muchtalkingaboutapossiblehostiletakeover.Gottasayit’skindofstrange.”Hemet
Bria’sstareandhegrinned.“Agoodstrange,trustme.I’vebeenwithAshtonsincethe
beginningandcancountononehandthenumberoftimesthatmanhasloosenedup.
You’regoodforhimMs.Long.”

“Agreed,”saidSuzanne.“Haveaniceday,Ms.Long.”
And with that, Bria watched in stunned silence as they made their way to the

elevatorandsteppedinside.Whenthedoorsswishedshut,shehadtopickherjawup

offherdesk.

Neverinamillionyearswouldshehaveexpectedthat.
“Are you hungry?” Bria jumped, startled out of her amazement, to find Ashton

loomingoverherdesk.“ThatmeetingtooklongerthanIanticipatedandI’mstarving.”

Somehow the ravenous look in his eyes didn’t appear to be all about food. Bria

swallowedandshiftedinherseat.“Okay…”

“IbelieveI’mfreefortherestoftheafternoonandthatmeansyouareaswell,soI’d

liketotakeyoutoalatelunch.”

Bria blinked. Her mind was so hazy that she wasn’t entirely sure that wasn’t a

euphemismforsomethingelse.“Lunch?”

Ashton leaned in even closer and the smell of his cologne wrapped around her

senses. “You haven’t eaten since breakfast, if I’m not mistaken, and you’re going to
needyourstrengthforlater.Sograbyourpurseandshutdownyourcomputerbecause
wewon’tbecomingbacktoday.”

His body radiated dark promises that made her hands shake and she did exactly

whathetoldherto.Theywalkedoutofthebuildingtogetherandshedidn’tmissthe
waypeoplestoppedtostareastheywent,onlythistime,itwasn’twithdisdain.

Therewasmorethanonefleetinglookofenvyonsomeofthewomen’sfacesthat

they passed on their way out. Ashton must have seen them too, because he moved
closertoBriaandputhishandonherlowerbackasifprovingshewashis.

Notthatheneededto.
Her body already belonged to Ashton and her heart wasn’t that far behind.

Especiallywhenhetreatedherthisway.Possessiveandprotective.Brianeverthought
she’dfallforthetypeofguywhocommandedrespectfromanyonehemet.Ashtonhad
apresencethatnoonecoulddenyandshehadtoadmitthatiswasallkindsofhotto
watchhimdominatearoomfullofpeople.

Andwhenheturnedallthatintensityather?
Bria shivered despite the heat outside the office building. Tonight he was going to

takeitupanotchandshecouldn’twait.God,ifanyonehadtoldherevenamonthago
that her boss and now boyfriend would be planning to put her over his knee, she’d
havetoldthemtheywerecertifiablyinsane.

Ifthey’dsaidshewouldbelookingforwardtoitshewouldhavelaughed.
Rightnow,withAshton’shothandagainsther,thelastthingshewantedtodowas

laugh.No,therewereathousandotherthingsthatcametomind.

“Ready?” Ashton said into her ear and his dark, gravelly voice raised up another

roundofgoosebumps.HeopenedthepassengerdoortotheshinysilverAudithathe’d
driventhemtoworkinthismorning.

Beforesheclimbedinheleaneddownandpressedhislipstothecrookofherneck.

Briacouldn’tholdinthelowmoanthatvibratedfromherthroat.Ashtonchuckledand
guidedherintotheseat,whichwasgoodbecauseherlegshadstoppedworkingwhen
Ashtontouchedher.

“I’mready.”Andshewas.
Bria expected to be taken right to Ashton’s place, stripped naked and put over his

knee. Of course she’d never been spanked before and had no idea what the proper
etiquettewas.

When Ashton pulled up in front of a trendy cafe, she let out a breath she’d been

holding. Apparently when he said they were going to lunch he actually meant they
weregoingtolunch.

Thelookhesentherastheywalkedinsidesaidheknewexactlywhathewasdoing

and she could not ignore the flush of anticipation that stayed with her for the entire
meal.

Heevendrewitoutlongerbyinsistingshegetdessert,adecadentcrèmebruleethat

meltedinhermouth.WhichAshtonhadnotstoppingwatchinghereatsincesheput
herspoontoherlips.

Theheatinhisgazemadeherhurrythroughthelastfewbitesandthentheywere

backoutside,finallyonthewaytohisapartment.

Suddennervousnessstartedtomakeherarmstingle.
Intherideuptheelevatortothepenthouse,herfingersfeltalittlenumb.
Assoonastheysteppedinsidetheapartment,hespunheraroundandpressedher

tothewall.Hislipscrasheddownoverhersandalowmoanvibratedfromherthroat.
Arousalsprangtolifeandthenumbnesswentaway.Shefelteverythingnow.

“AsmuchasIwouldliketobendyouoverandpunishyouforleavingyourpanties

onmydeskthismorning,whichgavemeafuckinghardonallday,”hemutteredinto
herear,hotbreathwashingoverthesensitivelobe,“thistime,thisfirsttimeanyway,
I’mgoingtotakemytimeandyouaregoingtoloveitsomuchthatyoubegformore.”

The dark promise in his voice made her knees weak. There was no shred of

nervousnessleft,nowshewantedwhathepromised.Therewasnodoubtinhermind
thatshewasgoingtoenjoyAshton’shandsonherass.

“You continue to surprise me,” he said, running his hand up her side to cup her

breastthroughhershirt.

Histhumbflickedoverhernippleandithardenedunderhistouch.Shearchedinto

itwhilemakinganinarticulatenoisethatwashalfgroan,halfthewordwhy.

“You’dneverbeenwithamanuntilme,andyetyouaresowilling,soopentotrying

new things. Its...surprising.” When he pulled back just enough to look in her eyes,
therewassomethingelseinhiseyesbesidethefamiliarhunger.“Ilikeit.Alot.”

Herpulsestutteredandshecouldn’tlookaway.“Ashton,Ilikeittoo.”
“Do you have any idea how badly I want to give you everything, anything, every

time I look at you.” The gravelly sounding words only made her clench her thighs
together tighter. She didn’t want anything but him. His dark gaze grew stormier. His
jawhardened.“You’remine,Bria.”

Shenoddedbecausehervoicehadcompletelydesertedher.
His smile turned downright devilish and he wrapped his fingers around her wrist

andledherintothelivingroom.Shestoodstillasheunbuttonedherblouseandtime
he pushed it from her shoulders to pool onto the floor; her nipples were poking out
fromherbra.

Ashtonflickedtheclaspanditfelltoo.
HerskirtfollowedandbecauseshehadgivenAshtonherpantiesearlier,shehadon

nothingbutherheels.Ashtontookastepbackback,hisgazedevouringeveryinchof
herbodyashemadeatightcirclearoundher.

Shewascoveredingoosebumpswhenhefinallystoppedbehindher.

He trailed a finger down her spine and she arched, sucking in a harsh breath. His

deepchucklemadeherkneesgoweak,butwhenhelaidthepalmofhishandonone
cheekofherass,shealmostsanktothefloor.

Everynerveendingtightened.Shewaited.Herbreathwentinandoutofherlungs

indoubletime.Ashtonbrushedhislipsoverherbareshoulderthensteppedaway.She
couldfeelhimthereandherbodygrewtightwithanticipation.

Thefirstlightspankdidn’thurtsomuchassurpriseher.Shejumpedandasqueal

escapedfrombetweenherlips.Hegroanedandspunheraround.

“Sofuckingsexy.”Heunbuckledhispantsandslidthemandhisboxersdowntohis

knees,freeinghisrigidcock.Hegrabbedherwaistandpulledherontohislapashesat
onaplushleatherchair.“ButIwanttobeinsideyouwhenIcontinuethislesson.”

Shewasalreadysowetthatwhenheguidedheroverhiscock,shesliddownover

himinonefluidmotion.Herhipsmovedandhegroaned.

“Haveyoubeenwetallday,knowingthatyouweredrivingmecrazywithnothing

underthatskirt?”hegroundout,movingherbackandforthinhislap.Everyrockof
herhipssentaflashofsensationripplingthroughher.

“Yes,”shegasped.
Hishandcrackedoverherasscheekandshejerkedforward,causingthembothto

moan when it drove his cock deeper inside her. The sting faded to heat and the rush
fromitmadehernippleshardenevenmore.

“Youliketeasingme,sweetheart?”heasked,hisdeepvoicegoingevendarker.
Sheknewwhatwouldhappenifshesaidyesandherbodytightenedinanticipation.

“Yes,”shebreathedout.Hishandcamedownontheothercheekandshegasped.The
biteofpainmorphedintohoneyedwarmththatmadeherclitache.

“Such a naughty girl,” Ashton groaned. “You tighten around me so good when I

spankyou.Youlikeitdon’tyou?”

Herbreathcaughtagain.“Yes.”
Hiseyesburnedintohersandshecouldseethereinonhiscontrolslipping.
“Doyoutrustme,sweetheart?”
“Yes,”shesaidonanexhale,thentensed,waitingforthewelcomestingthatnever

came.

“Iwantyoutoridemeuntilyouorgasm.Getyourselfoffonmycock.”
Shelaidherhandsonhisshouldersandbegantorollherhipsbackandforth.Ittook

notimeatallforhertofeelthefamiliartighteninginhercenter.Sheworkedherself
faster,groundagainsthimharderandjustwhenshewasclose,herentirebodyjerked
atthebiteofpainradiatingfromherass.

She must have froze because Ashton grabbed her hips and rocked her in his lap.

“Rideme,”hetoldher.“Don’tstop.”

Shesuckedinabreathandbeganagain.Somehowthepainhadaddedawholenew

layertothepleasuremakingherbodyache.Shecouldfeeltheheatonherskinasshe
moved.

Again, she worked herself up almost to release before another sting sent her hips

jerkingforward.Thistimeshedidn’tstopmovingandherentirebodyfeltweightless.
Allthatmatteredwasthefeelofhiminsideherandthewayhishandsfeltwhenthey
madecontactwithherass.Thespankscamewitheverythrustbackofherassandloud

groanswerespillingfromhermouth.

Itwasunlikeanythingsheexpected.
Shemovedfasterandtheheatonherbacksidegrewhotter.Shecouldfeelherbody

tighteningandwitheachspank,sheclenchedaroundhiscock.Ashtonwasgroaningas
loudasBrianowandhishandswereinaconstantstateofmotion,reiningdownonher
assasshebuckedwildlyonhislap.

The orgasm slammed into her on the heels of a burst of pain that made her eyes

burn. A scream burst from her lips. Her entire body went rigid and the pulsing heat
from her reddened cheeks seemed to add fuel to the never-ending spiral of pleasure
thatwasrippingthroughherbody.

Ashtongrabbedherhips,slammedupintoherandwentstill.
Thespasmwrackedheruntilshecouldn’tsupportherownweightandsankagainst

Ashton’schest.Herhairwasstucktoherforeheadandherheartpoundedagainsther
ribslikearunawaytrain.

“Holyshit.”Theminiburstsofwarmthhiteverytimesheshifted.
“Sweetheart,”Ashtonbreathedagainstherneck,slowlyrunninghishandsoverher

asstosootheherthrobbing.“Thatwashotasfuck.”

Godhewasn’tkidding.
“Justsoyouknow,I’mputtingmypantiesonyourdeskeverymorningfromnow

on.” She snuggled down into his embrace and reveled in the way Ashton held her.
She’dneverfeltsowanted,socaredforandneeded.

Hereyelidsdriftedclosedandthelastthoughtshehadbeforesleeppulledherunder

washowmuchshelovedAshtonCarter.

MORNING

passed quickly as Ashton conducted several meetings in his office as

CarterMediapoisedtomakeanofferonasmallcablenetworkinNewJersey.

Bria worked on catching up appointments that Ashton needed to schedule and

filteringhisemailandwasjustabouttograbacoffeewhenhephonebuzzed.Expecting
ittobehermother,Briaansweredwithoutlooking.

“Hello?”shesaid,cheerfully.
Therewassilenceandthen,“Bria,it’sme.Kass.”
Herfirstinstinctwastoendthecall.
“Wait. Please.” Kass must have anticipated that because she broke in before Bria

couldpushthebutton.“I’mjustoutside,atthetableweusedtositatforlunch.Ijust
wantfiveminutestoexplainandthenyoucanblockmynumberifyouwantto.”

Briastayedsilent.InsideherheartwasstillbrokenbyKassidy’sbetrayal.Morethan

anythingBriahadwantedanswers.Thiswasherchancetogetthem.

“Okay.I’llgiveyoufiveminutes.”Sheendedthecallandgrabbedherpursejustas

Ashton’sdooropenedandthelegalteamfiledout.

“Whereareyougoing?”Ashtonasked,comingouttostandatherdesk.
“Kassisoutside.Shewantstoexplain.”BriawaitedforAshtontotellhernottogo

buthejustnodded.

“Maybeyou’llgetyourexplanation.AndI’mrighthereifyouneedanything.Take

whattimeyouneed.”

Bria came around the desk and rose up on her toes to press a kiss to his lips. She

started to pull away when he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her
againsthisbody.Thenextkisswasn’tatallsoftorshort.Bythetimehelethergo,Bria
couldbarelycatchherbreath.

“Remember,ifyouneedsecuritytoescortheroffproperty,textme.”
Briadidn’tthinkshewouldbutitwasnicetoknowthatAshtonhadherbackifshe

neededit.“Thanks.”

Thebutterfliesinherstomachgrewwitheachfloortheelevatorcounteddown.By

the time the L flashed and the doors opened, she thought she might be sick. Five
minutes.That’sallshepromisedKass.

She pushed out into the bright fresh air and spotted Kass immediately. She was

sittingatthetabletheyusedtosharewhentheyatelunchandgossipedabouteveryone
intheoffice.

Kass stood as Bria approached and Bria could barely contain her surprise at how

awful her old friend looked. Kass had always been one to dress to impress, and she
neverleftherapartmentwithoutafullfaceofmakeupandherhairdoneupperfectly.

ThisKasshadonrippedjeansandanoversizedsweatshirtandherhairwaspulled

backintoalowponytail.Shehadonnomakeupatall.Addinthedarkcirclesunderher
eyesandBriacouldhonestlysayshehadneverseenherfriendthismuchlikeshit.

“Thank you for seeing me.” Kass’s voice was thick and her eyes glistened with

unshedtears.Shewavedtothetable.“Sit.Please.”

Bria sat across from Kass and folded her hands in her lap. It hurt to see her old

friend so obviously unkempt, but it didn’t alleviate the anger and the need to know
why.

“Doyouhatemethatmuch?”Briaasked,unabletokeepthehurtfromhervoice.
“Godno!Bria,you’remybestfriend.Ijust…”Kassidycouldn’tmeetBria’sstarefor

several long seconds. “I have a problem. It’s not an excuse and I know what I did
betrayedourfriendship,but...I’manalcoholicanditallreachedthetippingpointthat
day you caught me at your desk. Getting fired was rock bottom and it was also my
wakeup call. I don’t want to be like my father and lose everything because I can’t
control how much I drink. I’ve been going to AA meetings, and I think that they’re
helping.Oneofthestepsistoaskforforgivenessfromthepeopleyouhurt.”

HergazeonceagainslippedawayfromBria’sandshepickedattheedgeofthetable

withachippednail.Briawatchedherwithafeelingofdismayandevendisgust,andit
broughtupthesamekindoffeelingsshe’dexperiencedwhenShanahadstartedusing.
Itwasn’tthesamesubstance,butanaddictwasanaddict.

“I’mnotsurewhatyouwantmetosay,”Briatoldher.“Istilldon’tunderstandwhy

youdidwhatyoudidtome.”

“Iwasjealousofyou.Youhadthegreatjob,youweretheonewhocaughtAshton’s

eye when I had worked here longer than you. The alcohol gave the green monster
clawsandIfuckeduproyally.Iwaspettyandcruelandamahorribleperson.IknowI
don’tdeserveyourforgivenessbutIneededtocomehereandatleastexplainwhy.”

Howmany times had Briaforgiven Shana? How manychances had she given her

sisterbeforeshejustcouldn’tdoitanymore?TearsblurredBria’svision.Toomany,but

whatifBriahadletShanainthatnight?Whatifshehadgivenhersisterjustonemore
chanceandthatwasthetimewheneverythingworkedout?

Briacouldn’tforgivehersisteragain.Itwastoolateforthat.ShelookedatKass.Her

heartachedandshewantedtoreachacrossthetableandhugherfriend.Itwasalmost
likeshewaslookingatShana.Liketheuniversewasgivingheronemorechance.

“I forgive you.” As soon as the words left her mouth, a weight lifted off Bria’s

shoulders.Forthefirsttimeinyearsshefeltfree,abletofillherlungswithairandjust
breathe.“Aslongasyouaresoberandgoingtomeetings,I’mopentorebuildingour
friendship.”

TearsstreameddownKass’sface.“Thankyou.Thatmeans…morethanyouknow.”
“I need to get back to work,” Bria said, pushing to her feet and wiping at her own

eyes.TheystoodinawkwardsilenceuntilKasstookasmallstepforward.

“CanIgiveyouahug?”sheaskedsoftly.
ThevulnerabilityinhervoicetoreatBria.IfitwouldhelpKassinherrecoverythen

Bria could be there for her. She’d make sure that Kass had the support system she
needed to get better, as long as she tried. Bria gave her old friend a hug and walked
backintothebuildingfeelingalittlebitlighter.

Briahadjustputherpursebackintoherdeskwhentheelevatordinged.Shelooked

upwithasmileonherfaceandmetthegazeofawomanshe’dneverseenbefore.She
wasolderanddressedinastunningcreamsheathdresswithasweaterdrapedoverher
shoulders.

Hershoulderlengthhairwassmoothandeverythingaboutherscreamedmoney.
Briafrowned.Howthehellhadthiswomangottenuphere?Securitywasn’texactly

lax in the building. Before she could ask, Ashton’s door swung open and he stormed
out,headingrighttowardthewoman.

“Whatdoyouwant,mother?”Ashtonallbutsnarled.
Bria’s eyes went wide. His mother? After another careful look she could see the

resemblanceintheireyes.Thestubbornsetoftheirshoulders.

“Youwon’tanswermytexts,phonecallsorthedozencarrierpigeonsIhadreleased

overthecity.IhadnochoicebuttobringthemountaintoMohammedasthesaying
goes.”

“IignoredyourtextsandcallsforareasonandIroastedthepigeonsandatethem

withalovelyBordeaux.Sotherewasnoneedtocomeby,soyouandyourmountain
canleave.Now.”

BriahadneverseenAshtonactsorudebefore.“Ashton,that’syourmotheryou’re

beingsorudeto.”Thewordswereoutofhermouthbeforesherealizedshehadbutted
in

ThewomanturnedacuriousgazetoBria.“Thankyou.”
Ashton’sfacewentrigidbutBriaknewthatunderthefalseimpassiveexpression,he

wasfurious.Hishandswereclenchedsotightthathisknuckleswereturningwhite.

“My apologies,” he said, and his voice was so polite that it almost came out more

insultingthanifhe’dbeenopenlysarcastic.

Nowhismother’scuriousexpressionchangedtointrigue.“Ionlycametoaskthat

youconsidermyinvitationtomywedding.Itwouldmeantheworldtomeifyouwere
there,andofcourseyouhaveaplusone.”ShesmiledatBriawhostartedtosmileback

beforeAshtoncaughthergaze.

ShetriedtolookbusywhileAshtonglaredathismother,toldherhe’dthinkaboutit,

andafewminuteslater,shewasgone.

“Getyourpursewe’releavingearly,”hesaidwithhisteethclenched.
“Ashton, I was only trying to help. She obviously wants you there and I think it

wouldbegoodforyouto…”

“Unless you want me to put you over my knee in the middle of the day in the

middleofyouroffice,Isuggestyougetyourpurseandturnontheansweringservice.”

Ashton radiated dominance and barely restrained control. Her nipples tightened

and warmth started to build between her legs. They both knew that she enjoyed the
spanking he’d first given her and the raw need in his eyes told her that maybe he
neededitasmuchasshedidthistime.

“Areyougoingtotiemyhandsthistime?”sheaskedbreathlessly.
“Countonit,”hegrowled.
Maybesheneededtochallengehimmoreoften.Thatnaughtythoughtfollowedher

allthewaybacktohisplacewhereheonceagainshowedherhowmuchpleasureshe
couldfindinthedeliciouskindofpainonlyAshtoncouldgiveher.

C H A P T E R 4

riagripped Ashton’s hand as they made their way to the backyard of a beautiful
VictorianhomeinBackBay.Thehousewasenormousandfilledwiththekindof

luxurythatBriasawinAshton’spenthouse.Luxuriousyetcomfortable.Livedin.Itfelt
likearealhomeandconsideringthesizeoftheplace,itwasquiteafeat.

A man in a crisp suit directed them to the open patio doors and just beyond, Bria

couldseeacoupledozenpeople.Laughterfilteredinonalightoceanbreeze.

Ashtonstiffenedbesideherandshegavehisfingersaquicksqueeze.
SheknewheagreedtocometotheweddingbecauseBriahadaskedhimtoconsider

it,anditmadeherlovehimallthemore.Hewaswillingtocompromisetoshowher
thatshematteredtohim.Ofcourseshewouldhavestoodbyhimifhe’ddecidedtonot
cometoo.

“It’sabeautifuldayforawedding,”shesaid.
Ashtonsnorted.“Thisplaceisprobablyabouttoberepossessed.Iwouldputnothing

pastthatwoman.”

Briafrownedandtuggedhimtoastop.Hemightnotwanttobethereonehundred

percent but he was not going to ruin this day for his mother. Under the guise of
straightening his tie, she grabbed the lapels of his jacket and gave them a few quick
shakes.

“Youareherebecauseyourmotherwantedyoutobeapartofherspecialday.This

is her day, Ashton. No snide comments, no side eyed looks. You can remain silent if
youwant,butyoubetterdoitwithadamnedsmileonyourface.”

“Are you giving me orders, sweetheart?” His voice dropped lower and his eyes

darkened. “Because you know what happens when you think you’re the one in
charge.”Hedroppedhishandtoherassandgaveitaplayfultap.

Heatpooledbetweenherlegs.
“OfcourseIknowwhathappens.Andifyoubehave,youcantiemyhandstothe

headboardtonightbeforeyougivememypunishmenttoremindme.”

Ashton growled low in his throat. “As if you have a say in the matter.” A wicked

gleam entered his eyes and Bria fought back the wave of desire racing through her
blood. This was not the place to get worked up. His mother was right outside for
goodnesssake.

She patted his cheek and took a step back before she did something insane like

wrappingherlegsaroundhiswaistlikeamonkeyrightthereinfrontofeveryone.

“Whydon’tweskipallthisandgorighttothepartwhereyou’rebeggingformore?

Wecanbehomeinlessthantwentyminutes.”

He was tempting her with sex and usually that kind of bribe worked on her, but

today,therewassomethingbiggersheneededfromhimfirst.ShemetBeverly’sgaze
overAshton’sshoulderandAshton’smotherwavedBriaover.

“Time to play nice,” Bria said, then rested her hand on the crook of Ashton’s arm

andguidedhimoutontothepatio,towardhismotherandthemanbyherside.

“Ashton,I'msogladyoucame.”Hismothersteppedforwardandgavehimaquick

hugthenmovedbacktostandbesideaverynicelookingolderman.Greystreakedthe
sidesofhisshorthairandhehadonadarkgreysuitandalightbluetie.

ItmatchedthebluedressthatAshton'smotherwore.
“Hello,Bria.It'snicetoseeyouagain.Youlookstunninginthatdress.ThisisMason

Turner.MasonthisismysonAshtonandhiscompanionBria.”

Mr.TurnerextendedhishandandAshtontookitreluctantly.
“I'veheardalotaboutyouMr.Carter.EvenbeforeImetyourmother.You'vemade

quiteanameforyourself.Takessomegutstobuyupadyingindustryandmakenot
onlyprofitablebutalsosuccessful.Youarequitethesavvybusinessman.”

“HowlonghaveyouknownBeverly?”TheclippedtoneinAshton'svoicedidn'tgo

unnoticedbyanyofthem.

MasononlysmiledandwrappedhisarmaroundBeverly’swaist.
“Wemetovertwoyearsagobutshemademeworkforthatfirstdate.Tookthree

monthsbeforeshe’dagreetodinnerandotheryearandahalfmorebeforesheagreed
tobemywife.She'saverystubbornwoman.”

Beverlylaughed.“Iwantedtobesureyouweresure,darling.”
MasonsmiledaffectionatelydownathissoontobewifeandBriacouldnotmissthe

adoration shining in his eyes. It appeared that Ashton’s mother felt the same by the
wayhersmilesoftenedherface.

Thecouplelostthemselvesineachotherforseverallongbreaths.
“She is the love of my life and worth the wait.” Mason said. “A most incredible

woman.”

Briadidn'tmissthewayAshtonstiffenedatherside.
“We’ll let you mingle and will catch up after the ceremony,” Bria said, taking

Ashton'sarmandlearninghimaway.Helookedlikehecoulduseadrink.Thankfully
thelineatthebarwasshortandhehadabourbononiceinonlyafewminutes.

“Theylooklikethey’reinlove,”shesaidsoftly.“AndMasonseemslikeaniceman.”
“Mymothercertainlydidwellforherselfthistime.Abigstepupfromtheassholes

she used to bring home. None lasted this long, either.” He downed the drink in one
swallowandsettheglassonthebar.

“Maybe she’s changed?” Bria waited for the denial, the outburst but Ashton was

staringatwherehismotherandMasonstood,talkingwithagroupoftheirfriends.

“I’veneverseenhersmilelikethat,”hesaidsolowshealmostdidn’thearit.
Briaswallowedagainstthelumpinherthroat.Therewasavulnerabilityintheway

Ashtonstaredathismotherthatmadeherwanttopullhimintoherarmsandhughim
tight. It was a glimpse of the boy he used to be, the one who desperately wanted to

importanttohismother.

BeverlyglancedoveratthatmomentandwhenhergazefellonAshton,hersmile

changed.Therewassomuchregretinthatoneexpression,buttherewashopetooand
more than anything Bria wanted Ashton and his mother to find a way to move on.
Despitethehardfeelings,itwasobvioustherewasstillloveonboththeirparts.

“Youtookachancewithme,”shewhisperedinhisear.“Itworkedoutprettygood

don’t you think?” She didn’t say more. If Ashton wasn’t ready she’d made him a
promisenottopush.“Lookslikepeoplearesittingnow.Ithinkit’sabouttostart.”

Briadidn’tmissthewayBeverlydabbedathereyeswhenshesawthatAshtonand

Briasatinthesectionmarkedforfamily.Thenontraditionalceremonywasbeautiful
and by the time they were pronounced man and wife, Bria was dabbing at her own
eyes.

Shethoughtofherownwedding,whatitwouldbelike,andrealizedthatitwasyet

another milestone that Shana wouldn’t be a part of. There were so many that she
would miss. As if he knew what she was thinking, Ashton reached out and took her
handandpulledittohislips.

Sheleanedherheadonhisshoulder.Thepaineasedwithhistouch.Italwaysdid.

Ashtonwasherrockandshelovedhimwitheverythingshehad.Theystoodtogether
after the happy couple walked by and made their way back to the patio where the
receptionwouldbe.

There was no head table, only a dozen cafe style settings that were beautiful and

casual.Alongonesidewerelongtablesfilledwithdeliciouslookinghorsdevoursand
tinypastriesthatweremouthwateringtolookat.

“Ashton,wouldyouliketositwithus?”hismotherasked,comingupbesidethem.

Briasqueezedhishand,lettinghimknowthatwhateverhischoice,shewouldsupport
it.

Ashtonclearedhisthroat.“Thatwouldbefine.”
BriasmiledasMasonledthewaytoatabletuckedunderabeautifulweepingtree.

There were tiny white lights strung all through it and it looked like it belonged in an
enchantedfairygarden.Infacttheentirepatiodid.Itwasmagical.

Justbeforetheyallsat,Ashtonclearedhisthroatagain.“WouldyoubothmindifI

hadamomentalonewithmymother?”

Masonheldouthisarm.“DoyoudanceMs.Long?”
Brialaughed.“It’sBriaandonlyifyouhavenouseforyourfeetforaboutaweek.”
“Ihavetoughshoes—Idon’tthinkyoucanputadentinthem.”
“Wellinthatcase,leadaway.”BrialookedtoAshtonwhosmiledatherinthanks.

Thewayhisfacesoftenedwhenhelookedathermadeherkneesweak.

Masonchuckledasheledheraway.
“Thatmanisheadoverheelsforyou.”HepulledherontothedancefloorandBria

placedherhandonhisshoulder,theotherwithinhisgrasp.Thelasttimeshedanced
hadbeenwithherfatherathisretirementparty.

“I’mkindoffondofhimtoo,”shesaidwithagrin.
Briakeptlookingoveratthetableeverytimesheturnedtofacethatwayandwas

relievedtoseeAshtonsittingback,hisposturelooseandrelaxed.

“Bevwassogladthatyoutwoshoweduptoday.Thankyouforcoming.”

She knew what he was really thanking her for and she couldn’t take the credit.

“Ashtonmadethecall.ItoldhimI’dsupportwhateverhedecided.ButI’mhappywith
hischoicetoo.”

Theyspenttherestofthedancechattingaboutmundanethings,buthewasagreat

storytellerandBriawasstilllaughingwhentheymadetheirwaybacktothetable.

“Everythinggood?”Briaasked,sittingnexttoAshton.
Hismothersmiledandnodded.“Greatactually.”Hervoicewassoftandhappyand

thelayeroftensionthathadbeenhoveringoverherwasgone.

MasonextendedahandtoBeverly.“Ifyoudon’tmindI’dliketotakemybridefora

spin.KickthetiresandseewhatIboughtandallthat.”Beverlyplayfullyslappedhim
onthearmandtheybothlaughed.

“You’re stuck with me now. Till death do us part. Everyone here heard you,”

Beverlywarnedwithalaugh.

Masonpulledherintoalong,breathlesskiss.“NowhereelseIeverwanttobe.”
Withthattheywalkedoffhandandhandandasifoncue,thebandstartedtoplaya

slow romantic melody. Ashton stood and held out his hand. Bria thought they were
goingtodancetoo,butheledherofftotheside,downthestonestepsandintoamore
privatepartofthegarden.

Arivermovedunderawoodenfootbridgethathadalsobeenwrappedinsparkling

white lights. Dusk had just started to settle over the sky, giving everything a magical
glow.

Ashtonstoppedinthemiddleofthebridgeandpulledherintohisembrace.
“Thankyou.Fortodayandforyesterdayandforallthedaystocome.Ineverknew

thatIwantedthisuntilyoucamealong.”

Tearsburnedhereyesandsheblinkedrapidlytokeepthemaway.Ashtonalways

turnedheronlikecrazy,butthisromanticversionofthemanshelovedwasaboutto
makeherheartexplode.

“Iloveyou.”Hervoicecrackedwithemotion.“AndI’mgladthatyouwereableto

talkwithyourmother.Itwentwell?”

Hegazedoffoverhershoulder.“Idobelievesheischangedandweagreedtotakeit

slow,butsheinvitedustobrunchnextweekend.Iaccepted.”

Bria threw her arms around him and pulled his head down. His lips were soft yet

demandingandshelostherselfinthewayhistonguebothtookandgaveeverything.

TheywerebothbreathlesswhenAshtonpulledback.
“Doyouthinkanyonewillcomeintothispartofthegarden?”Briaslidthehemof

herkneelengthskirtupoverherthigh.“Iwon’tneedlong.”

“YouwillneedhoursforwhatIhaveplannedforyoulater.BehavebecauseI’mnot

doneyet.”

“You talk too much.” She tried to pull his head back down but he held her hands

againsthischestinstead.Shefakepoutedandhopeditwouldchangehismind.

“I’llputthatpoutymouthtouselater,”hesaidsternlyandshefeltmoisturebuilding

betweenherlegs.“Butfirst…”

Heletgoofherhandsandreachedintotheinsideofhisjacket.Ashewaspulling

whateveritwasout,hestartedtolowerintooneknee.

Bria’seyeswidenedandherheartstartedtopoundagainstherribs.“Yes!”

Ashtongroanedandshookhishead.“Youhavetomakeeverythingsodifficult.First

Iaskandthenyousayyes.”

Tearsslippeddownoverhercheeksandshehadtopressherfingerstoherlipsto

keepfromscreamingoutyesoverandoveragain.Theweddingguestsweregoingto
thinksomeonewasgettingveryluckyifshewasn’tcareful.Shebouncedonthetoesof
herpeeptoedheels.

“Soask.Andhurryup.Ikindofneedtotouchyourightnowandit’skillingmethat

I can’t.” Her heart was going to explode with happiness if he didn’t say it soon. She
wantedhimtoslidetheringontoherfingersoshecouldthrowherselfintohisarms.

“Bria Long, nothing about you has been expected and I had no idea that I wanted

theforeverafterwithanyoneuntilImetyou.”

Bria practically vibrated with anticipation but she kept her lips pressed tightly

together.

“IloveyouandIdon’teverwantanyoneelseand…”Hepausedandagrowlescaped

frombetweenherteeth.Ashtonthrewbackhisheadandlaughed.

“When I tell our children about this moment I’m going to make sure they know

howmuchtheirfathertorturedtheirmotherduringtheproposal.”Atthementionof
kids,Ashton’seyeswentdarkandheslidonehandupthebackofherthigh.

“You can also tell them that their mother was yelling yes, oh god yes, only a few

minutes later. Fuck sweetheart, the idea of watching our child growing inside you…”
He inhaled a ragged breath and looked deep into her eyes. She could see the love
shining so brightly that it took her breath away. “You are my everything. My life.
Marryme?”

Briachokedonasob.Nowthatshecouldsayyesshecouldn’tgetthewordoutfrom

hertightthroat.Shenoddedsohardthatafewstrandsofhaircamefreefromherhair
clip.

Ashtonstoodandcarefullypusheditbehindherear,thenslidabeautifuldiamond

ring onto her finger. Bria looked down at it, then back up at Ashton. Instead of
throwingherarmsaroundhimlikesheplanned,shecradledhisjawinherhandsand
stooduponhertoes.

Thesoftbrushofherlipsagainsthiswasthebestfeelingintheworld.Ashtonslidhis

hands to her waist and kissed her back just as slowly. This was it, the most perfect
momentinherlife.

Dreams she never even knew she had came true today and Bria finally had the

happyendingsheneverthoughtwouldbepossible.

Ashtonwasherhomeandwithhimwasexactlywhereshebelonged.

TheEnd

Wehopeyouenjoyedtheseries!!Pleaseleaveareviewandletusknow.

Andnow,continuereadingforthefreebonusbook,PantyDropperbyPaigeNorth!

BONUSMATERIAL:PANTYDROPPERBYPAIGE

NORTH

ASEXYSTANDALONECONTEMPORARYROMANCE

C H A P T E R 1

waslookingintotheeyesofThePantyDropper.

I squirmed a bit in my seat in the conference room and wondered what the

hell I had gotten myself into. My first day on the job and we were talking about this
specimenofaman,whoIonlyknewbyonename:ThePantyDropper.

Allfivewomenwhowereatthemeeting,notepadsandpensoutandreadytowork,

oohedandgushedoverthephotosbeingpassedaround.Theyalllookedsosmartand
chic,dressedinstylishtopsandperfectly-fitteddresses,accessorizedandstyledtothe
max—alltogotowork.I’dputinhalftheeffort,eventhoughitwasmyfirstdayonthe
job.

IguesswhenIthoughtofawriterIsawsomeoneinyogapantsandatopknot.I’d

donealittlebetterthanthat—black,loosepantsandabuttondownwithflats.Ithought
Icouldn’tgowrong,butlookingaroundthetable,IknewIwasoutofmyleague.

Even the view of the Hollywood sign off in the smoggy distance couldn’t hide the

factthatIwasinovermyhead.Afterapplyingtoeverymagazine,newspaper,journal
andnewssiteIcouldfind,ithadbeenCrush,andonlyCrush,whoagreedtohireme.

Turns out employers want editors with experience and writers with bylines, but

howcouldIgettheexperienceifnoonewouldhireme?LuckilyCrushtookachance
on me and I was grateful for the work—even if I didn’t read the magazine—and
anxioustogetmyfirstassignment.Iwantedtomakeagoodimpression.Ijustdidn’t
thinkthatatmyfirstmeetingonmyfirstday,we’dbetalkingaboutsomeonenamed
The Panty Dropper, whose chiseled face was scattered across the conference table in
morethanadozenphotographs,frompaparazzishotstoredcarpetevents.

“Lookather,she’sblushing,”saidoneofthegirls,watchingmewithasmirk.
“Ibettheydon’thavemenlikethatbackinMaine,dothey?”askedthegirlsitting

nexttoher,andthetwolaughed.

“No, I bet Maine men are outstanding,” said the first. “I bet they’re all chopping

woodinredflannelshirts,musclesbulging…”

“I think I see some bulge in this picture,” said the girl next to me, leaning over to

takeacloserlookatthephoto.Everyonelaughed.

“Alexa,Bethany,let’spretendwe’reprofessionals,”saidKait,themagazine’seditor

inchief.“Andbenicetothenewgirl.Actually,beforewegetintothegoodstuff,why
don’tyouintroduceyourselftoeveryone?”

Kait stared down at me from the head of the conference table. Everyone quieted,

andalleyesturnedonme.NowtheycouldallgetagoodlookatthisstupidoutfitI’d
chosenformyfirstdayatwork,thischeap,ill-fittingridiculousnessthatmademelook,
Inowrealized,morefittedforsittinginaretirementhomethansittingintheofficesof
one the top women’s magazines in the country. I’d overthought my wardrobe last
night,somethingIdidfartoooften,andnevertogoodresults.

“Um, hi,” I said, giving a funny little wave to the other women in the City Living

departmentofthemagazine,thesamedepartmentI’dbeenhiredtoworkin.Idropped
my hand back in my lap. “Yeah, I'm Sophie Scott. From Maine. Um, I just graduated
andI’m,well,reallyhappytobehere.”

Theykeptlookingatme,waiting,forwhatIhadnoidea.Icouldhearthea/cclick

on,andachillwentdownmyarm.

“Okay, then,” Kait said, looking bored and unimpressed. God, I was blowing it

already.“That’sSophiewhograduatedfromMaine.”

“Ididn’tgraduatefrom—”Ibegan.
“Now let’s get back to work,” Kait finished, not knowing or caring that she cut me

off. Which was fine. I was there at Crush to do a great job. I’d listen, and learn, and
workreallyhard.Thatwasmygoal.Dowell,andmoveontoabetter,moreintellectual
magazine or journal and work on something more substantive than the fluff they
wrotehere…

Ithinktheirbigthinkpieceforthenewestissuewas“howtohaveanorgasminless

thantenseconds.”

Oh,no,Isuddenlythought.WhatifIhadtowriteanorgasmstorysomedaysoon?I

slunkdowninmyseatalittlelower,notwantinganyonetolookatmeforanyreason.
Itwasmyfirsteditorialmeeting,andIwastheretolisten.Nothingmore.

“Back to The Panty Dropper,” Kait said, pointing to the photo before me. “We all

knowwhoheis—ordowe?Sophie,doyouknowwhothatmanis?”

Ilookedbackatthephotobeforeme.Itshowedamaninaslimbluesuitanddark

sunglasses walking purposefully across a street. Frankly, it looked like a fashion shot
for the magazine, but it was a paparazzi shot. From the full-body picture it was clear
thisguywasfit—Icouldpracticallyseethemusclesinhisthighsandbicepsbeneaththe
tailoredsuit.Hisdarkbrownhairwasthickandwavy.Hisjawwashardanddefined—
liketherestofhim,ifpicturesdon’tlie.Hewasincrediblyhandsome.

Butastowho,exactly,hewas?Ididn’tknow.ButIdidn’twanttheotherstoknow

thatIwasclueless.

“Right,thepantydropper,”Ibegan.“He’sthatguy,everyoneknowshim.”Inodmy

headenthusiastically,asifwhatI’msayingactuallymeanssomething.“He’sthatreally
famous guy, he’s rich, successful…” Looking at the picture, I could just see panties
fallingoutofhispocketbecausehewassosuccessful.Athisjob.Sellingpanties?

I could already hear Alexa and Bethany across the conference table snickering at

measIspunmywheels.

Kait let out a deep, disappointed sigh. She leaned across the table and took the

picturefrombeforeme.“This,asmostofyouknow,isLeoArmstrong,twenty-seven,
the most sought-after bachelor in all of L.A. and the head of relative newcomer Epix
Studios.”

“Also their youngest head in history,” said Bethany. Unlike me, she was dressed

simplyandfashionablyinaslim,cap-sleevedgreendress.Ituggedonthecollarofmy
shirt,anewlevelofdiscomfortfillingme.

“I’dliketogivehimhead,”mutteredAlexa,andnonetooquietlyeither.Theybarely

triedtostifletheirlaughs.

Kaitignoredthem.“LeoArmstrongisthepresidentofEpixStudios.EverygirlL.A.,

from the fledging starlet to the seasoned Oscar winner wants to sleep with him or at
leastgetanauditionwithhim—”

“Onhiscouch,”saidAlexa,andBethanyswattedherarm.
“And of all the women he’s dated,” Kait continued, “and there have been a lot, no

oneknowsanythingabouthimpersonally.There’sneverbeeneventhetiniestwhisper
of what it’s like to date him. He’s the most famous person in this town and no one
knowswhathe’sreallylike.We’regoingtochangethat.”Hersharpeyestookinallthe
womenatthetable.Thenshesaid,“OneofyouisgoingtodateLeoArmstrong.”

Ahushfellovertheroom.Noonewaslaughinganymore.
EventhoughIdidn’tknowthesewomen—Ididn’tevenknowalltheirnames,save

for Bethany, Alexa and Renee, the girl who sat next me, studiously taking notes—I
realizedIwasexcitedforthem.IfthisguyweresomefamousHollywoodbigshot,plus
totally hot, it would be a fun story to work on. Who wouldn’t want to date a rich
famous guy and write about it? My dating experience was limited, relegated to Paul,
who I dated for a couple of years in college, and who cheated on me. The worst part
was, he wasn’t even that good looking. I’d spent my college years so focused on my
studies so that I could get a great job as soon as I graduated. Now I saw the irony of
limiteddatingexperienceasIsatintheofficesofamagazinededicatedtotheartofthe
blowjob.

“This guy is the classic womanizer,” Kait said. “He dates, and discards, one after

another.Butwhatgoesonbehindcloseddoors?That’swhatCrushisgoingtofindout.I
wanttoknoweverythingabouthim,andnotjustboringthingslikehowhetakeshis
coffee and if he snores. I want to know how he treats these women. Does he bother
acting like a gentleman? Is he boring? Selfish? Does he have something to say? Is he
morethanjustgoodlooksandloadsofmoney?Howbigishisdick?”

Everybodyburstintolaughter,andItriedtochuckleappreciatively,asIfeltmyface

flushyetagain.

“EveryoneinL.A.wantstodatethisguy,”saidRenee.“Yousaidsoyourself.Buthow

doesanyonegetthatdate?Howarewegoingtoinfiltratethisguy’sworldandgethim
totakeoneofusoutonadate?”

“Multiple dates,” Bethany said, and when Alexa gave her a look, she said, “No,

seriously.Youcan’twriteanexposéoffofonedate.”

“Yeah,nottomentionthefactthatthere’snowayLeoArmstrongisgoingtodatea

journalist,”Alexasaid.“Acelebritydatingajournalistwouldbelikeacompulsiveeater
datingachef.Leowouldnevertrustawriter,andsowe’reshotinthefootbeforewe
evengetstarted.”

“Plus,”Reneesaid,“howdowegetthatfirstmeeting?”sheaskedtoKait.“Honestly,

ifIknewwheretobumpintoLeoArmstrongI’dbethererightnow.”

“I’mnotsayingthisisgoingtobeeasy,”Kaitsaid.“ButI’veputalotofthoughtinto

itandIhaveaplan.Oneofthefirstthingswe’lldo,asAlexabroughtup,ishaveyou
use a false name and occupation. Leo Armstrong can’t know he’s dating a writer at
Crushmagazine.WhatIstilldon’thave,though,istheundercoveragentwho’sgoingto
dothisgig.”ShelookedaroundtheroomatthesixofuswhomadeuptheCityLiving
section of the magazine. I’d been hired as the voice of The New Girl, the magazine’s
“fun,flirty”columnaboutgettingadjustedtoL.A.life.Andbelieveme,Ihadathousand
ideas because L.A. is worlds apart from Maine, and I don’t just mean the three-
thousandmiles,either.

KaitlookedaroundtheroomatallthewomenandInoticed,withsomerelief,that

she didn’t look at me. Obviously I’d never get this assignment—it was a big gig, and
she’dwantoneofherseasonedwritersonthejob.

“Kait, I’ll just go ahead and say I’d love the job,” Bethany said, sitting up straight.

“I’vegotlotsofexperienceundermybelt,andIreallythinkmypieceondatingolder
mensetmeupforthistypeofstory.”

“LeoArmstrongisonlytwenty-seven,”Alexasaid.“Besides,withmybackgroundin

theater, I could really play the part because isn’t that what undercover is—playing a
role?Kait,Icoulddothis,noproblem.Andyouoncesaidmystoriesweretheeasiestto
editbecausetheyweresoclean—grammaticallyspeaking,ofcourse.”

BethanyshotAlexaalook,andjustlikethat,itlookedlikethetwobestieshadpitted

themselvesagainsteachother.

“ButIhavemorejournalismexperience,”Bethanysaid.
“WritingrestaurantreviewsforalocalOrangeCountyfreemagazine?”Alexasaid.

“Please.Kait,honestly,IknowI’dbegreatforthisifyou’djust…”

“AndsowillI,I’llbebetter—”
“Girls,” Kait said, holding up a hand. “Easy on the sales pitch. I’m not making any

rashdecisionshere.”

“Lookatthesepictures,”saidRenee,“andallthewomenhe’sbeenwith.”Shetook

two, and held them up. “There are eight here, and more on the Internet that I didn’t
pull.Heclearlyhasatype.Outofallofus,thereisonepersonwhoseemslikehisexact
type.It’sher.”

Theroomwasquiet,andwhenIlookedupIrealizedBethanyhadbeenspeakingto

me.Ievenpointedtomyselfandsaid,“Who—me?”

Ifeltmypulsebeginningtopoundincreasinglyfaster.
“She’s right,” Kait said, really examining the photos. She picked up a photo of Leo

ridingbicycleswithabrunetteinManhattan.“Looksjustlikeher.”Hereyeswidened.
“Thebonestructure,thelips,theeyes…”

“Idon’tbelievethis,”saidAlexa.
I saw only a passing resemblance to the beauty in the photo, and that was mostly

duetothelongdarkhair.Andsheprobablyworeextensionsanyway.

Suddenly,alleyeswereonme.AndIlaughed.Astupid,sputteringlaugh.
“Well,I,”Ibegan.“Imean,ofcourseI’mupforwhateveryouwant,”IsaidtoKait.

“ButI’msureyouwantsomeonewithmoreexperience.Eitherofyouguyswouldbe
betterthanme,”IsaidtoAlexaandBethany,wholookedatmewithnarrowedeyes.

Kaitfixedhersharpeyesonmeandsaid,“WhenIhiredyou,youtoldmeyouwere

ahardworkerwhowaswillingtodowhateverwasbestforthemagazine.”

“Iknowbut...”
“Andwe’llbethereforyou,”Kaitsaid.“I’llbethereforyou.I’llbeyourdirecteditor

onthisstoryandwillhelpyouthroughit.”

“Kait, you can’t be serious,” said Bethany. “She just got here. From Maine. And

you’regoingtotrustherwiththis?Nodisrespectbutthat’scrazy.”

Bethany was right—it was crazy. Yeah, the writing and investigative part of it

frightenedme,butinagoodsense.It’dbeachallengebutIwasn’tafraidofachallenge.
Afterall,I’dpackedupmylifeandmovedallthewayouthereknowingexactlyzero
people. What worried me the most was Leo Armstrong. The intimidation of this guy
camerightofftheglossyphotosscatteredacrossthetable.Icouldhandlethewriting—
butcouldIhandlethesubject?

Theywantedmetodatethisbigcelebrity,anddatingwasfarfrommystrongsuit…
“No, Renee is right,” Kait said. “Sophie looks the part. She’s a good writer or I

wouldn’thavehiredher.AndIthinkherinnocencewilllenditselfwelltothesubject.
He’d never guess a sweet little New England girl is out to get him.” The look in Kait’s
eyesmadeitclearthatshewaslivingforthedayshebustedLeoArmstrong.Itmade
me squirm in my seat. That and the fact that—was this really happening? Was she
goingtomakemedothisjob?

“She’llneedamakeover,intheveryleast,”Alexasaid.
“Nottomentionwardrobe,”Bethanysaid,lookingmedown.
“Goodthingwehaveentiresectionsofthisfloordedicatedtofashionandbeauty,”

Kaitsaid.“Withtherightmakeupandhairandclothes,wecanmakeSophielooklike
Leo’s dream girl.” And then, after thinking some more, she looked at me and said,
“Congratulations,Sophie.Youjustreceivedyourfirstassignment.”

“Luckygirl,”saidRenee.
“Unbelievable,”mutteredBethany.
In my head I knew they were both right. I was lucky, and it was completely

unbelievable.Itwasalsototallyoutofmyleague.

C H A P T E R 2

ythenextday,KaithadgatheredupevenmorephotosofLeoArmstrongandhis
ex-girlfriendsandhadthempostedalloverherwall.Shecalledmeintoheroffice,

and when I stood in the doorway, she was staring at them with Alexa and Bethany
sittinginthechairsinfrontofKait’sdesk.

“They’reright,”shesaid,withoutturningtolookatme.“Youaremostdefinitelyhis

type.”

“Look,Kait,I’vebeenthinking,”Ibegan.I’dspentthewholesleeplessnightthinking

andnotmuchelse.Thiswascrazy.Icouldn’tdothisassignment.I’dblowmyso-called
coverinthefirstthreeminutes.IfeltnauseousandIhadn’tevendoneanythingyet.I’d
nevermakeitthough.“Ijustdon’tthinkIcanpullthisoff.”

Finally, Kait turned to look at me. Her eyes were a hard gray blue, and when she

spoketherewasnohesitationinhervoice.“You’lldoit,oryou’llfindsomewhereelse
towork.”

“ItoldyouKait,”saidAlexa.“She’snotqualified.She’sgoingtoblowit.”
“I’mtellingyou,Icandoit,”saidBethany.
“Sophie is doing it. I have a feeling, and I always trust my gut,” Kait said with

finality.“Nowlet’sgetherfixedup.”

We went to the fashion editor’s section, where her office was basically inside the

massiveclosetwhereallthesamplesfromdesignerswereheld.Everythingfromjeans
anddressestoeverykindofaccessoryandshoes,shoes,shoesgalore.Iwasn’tthatinto
clothes,butevenIwasimpressedwiththeloot.

“She’s got a great figure,” said Mel, the fashion editor. She dug through the closet,

holdingupdressestomyframeforquickassessments.“Butthesemightbealittlesnug
forher.”

“Evenbetter,”Kaitsaid.“Putherintheyellowandaccessorize.”
TheyallstoodaroundthefashionclosetwhileIheldthedressandshoesKaithad

chosenformewiththehelpofthefashioneditor.

“Nowallyouhavetodo,darling,”Kaitsaid,“isputtheclotheson.”
Ifeltlikeanidiot,butatleastMelshotmeasympatheticlook.Ididn’tknowifKait

wasalwayssocurt,orifitwasmewhobroughtitoutinher.AsIstoodthereinthat
closet full of gorgeous designer clothes—most of which weren’t even in stores yet—I
shouldhavebeenhavingthetimeofmylife.InsteadIfeltlikeakidraidingawoman’s

closet—anunwelcomedkid.

NextstopwasRebecca,thebeautyeditor’soffice.BethanyandAlexawerethereas

well,hoveringandwaitingformetobackout,itseemed.AsIwatched,Rebeccawent
through her supply of beauty products that made Sephora look like a starter store.
Meanwhile, Kait filled me in on what was about to happen—how I would get in with
ThePantyDropper.

“Bethany, Alexa and I came up with a backstory last night,” Kait said. I wondered

whyIwasn’tinvolvedinit,butthenagain,whenIlefttheofficeIsortofranoutofthe
building with the hopes that my first day had all been a dream. A very terrible,
horrifyingdream.“YouarenolongerSophieScott.YouareSophieAdams,andyou’re
anaspiringactress.Myhusband,whoisacastingagent,gotyouanauditiontodayfor
Epix’snewactionfilm.SomethingcalledDestructionOverload,”shesaid,checkingher
notes. “Just another mindless shoot-em-up movie, same schlock Armstrong always
does.Theroleyou’regoingforisGrace,whoisthewifeofaNavycolonelheldhostage
byterrorists.”

“Of course the wife is like thirty years younger than the Naval colonel,” said

Bethany,rollinghereyes.

“Here’sthepageyou’llbereadingfrom,”Kaitcontinued.“Thesceneyou’rereading

isGracepleadingforsympathyfromhercaptors.”

Shehandedmeapagefromascript—arealmoviescript,somethingI’dneverseen

before—and my pulse raced. Going undercover was bad enough, but I’d have to
actuallyactaswell?

“Don’tlooksogreen,”teasedAlexa.“Remember,it’sallarole.Allforthearticle.Just

act,andyou’lldofine.Wehope,”sheadded.

Rebeccahadwrangledmylonghairintosoft,beachywaves.Andeventhoughshe’d

putwhatfeltlikeatonofmakeuponmyface,whenIlookedinthemirroritlooked
freshandminimal.Myskinglowedlikethesurfaceofthemoon.

ButIdidn’tseeabeauty.IsawafrightenedgirlfromasmalltowninNewEngland.
“Idon’tknowwhatmakesyouallthinkIcandothis.”
“You’llhavetoprovethatyoucan,”saidBethany.
“Thinkofthegreatstoryyou’llgetifthisactuallyworks,”Alexasaid.“We’dallkill

forthisassignment.NotjustgoingoutwithLeoArmstrong,butexposinghimforwhat
hereallyis.Sodon’tcomplain.Justdoyourjob.”

“She’sright,”Kaitsaid,lookingatmeinthemirrorbeforeus.“Don’tforgetthegoal,

Sophie. To expose Leo Armstrong for the womanizing bastard that he is. Now,” she
said,pullingmylonghairbackanddrapingitoveroneshoulder.“You’rereadytomeet
him.”

C H A P T E R 3

triedmybesttotuguptheplungingnecklineoftheyellowdressKaithadchosen
formebutitwouldn’tbudge.Thegirlsweredefinitelyouttoday.

“Don’tblowit,”KaithadsaidbeforeIleft,andIwonderedifshemeanttheactingor

thestory.

I walked into the offices where the auditions were being held. I handed over the

paperworkKaitandhercrewhadcreatedformeandwaitedmyturninahallwayfull
ofwomen—allofwhomlookedliketheycouldeasilybemodelsandactresseswhich,I
supposed,theywere.Ihadn’tlivedinLosAngelesforlong,butIwasquicklylearning
thattheworldwasfullofbeautifulpeople,andmostofthemlivedhere.Nowaywould
IstandouttosomeonelikeLeoArmstrong.Idecidedtojusttrymybest,andseewhat
happened.

Itriedtostudymylinesbutmyhandsshookandthechillofthehallwaymademe

shiver.Ormaybeitwasjustmynerves.

“SophieAdams!You’reup.”
I stood on teetering heels and followed a woman in baggy black pants and Chuck

Taylorsthroughtoanotherroom.Therewaslongtableatthebackwherethreepeople
satcloselytalking—twomenandawoman.Acameraonatripodwaspositionedonthe
sideandamaninablueworkman’soverallsateatingasandwichinthecorner.

“Here’syourmark,”saidthewoman.Istoodwhereshepointedandtriedtotakea

deepbreath.

“ThisisSophieAdams,”thewomanannouncedtothethreeatthetable.“Basically

noexperience.”Shehandedthemmyone-sheet.

“Anothervirgin,”mutteredthemanatthecenter.“Let’sgetthisoverwith.”
“Youdoneanyworkatall,takenanyclasses?”thewomanatthetableasked.“The

Groundlingsmaybe?”

“Sorry,thewhat?”Ihadnoideawhatshewastalkingabout,butthedeepsighshe

gavemetoldmeIshouldhave.

“I’mgoingtoreadoffyou,sweetie,”saidthewomanwhobroughtmein.
Iwasconfusedforamomentbecausethecharacterinthescenewasaman,butI

tookadeepbreathandlookeddownatmylines.WhenIlookedbackup,themanin
thecenterofthetablelookedupatme,andIfroze.TheresatLeoArmstrong,hisclear
blueeyespiercingmefromacrosstheroom.

“Whenyou’reready.”
Ifumbledwiththescript,awrinkledmessinmysweatyhand.Ibegan.“Puh-Please.

Um…myboyfriend—husbandisvery…powerful.”Ituggedonmydress,feelingasifthe
heathadbeenturnedupintheroom.IlookedatthetablebeforemeandrealizedLeo
Armstrongwaswatchingmeintently,theweightofhiseyespracticallyphysicalfrom
across the room. I tried to plow forward, woodenly reciting the lines. “I mean, a
powerfulman.Myhusbandisaverypowerfulman.Hewilldowhatyouneed—want.
Getyouwhatyouwant.Um.”

“WhatIwantisforyourhusbandtorealizethegravemistakehe’smadebycrossing

me,”saidthewomanflatly,readingthelinesagainstme.

Leo Armstrong’s eyes had me locked in place. He didn’t blink or look away, and I

realized I couldn’t either. “You don’t want to do this,” I said, and realized I was still
lookingathiminsteadofmyscenepartner.Iquicklylookedtowardthewomen.“Um,
like,Ibegyou.”Icursedmyselfundermybreath.

“Peggy,” Leo said, standing up from the table with one swift, graceful movement.

“Let me take over. I’ll read with her. Maybe that’ll relax her.” Watching him move
towardme,Ifeltlikemylegswouldbucklebeneathme.Hestrodeacrossthefloorin
sure strides, never taking his eyes off me. If I was going to make it through this
audition, I couldn't do it while looking at him. I wasn’t sure I could breathe while
lookingathim.

WhenhestoodbeforemeIlookeddownatthefloor,seeingonlyhishighlypolished

leatheroxfordsanddarkslacks.

“Start from the top?” he asked, his voice deep and assured. I nodded yes. “When

you’reready,”heremindedme.

Iclearedmythroatandbeganagain.“Please.Myhusbandisaverymanlypower.

Powerful man. Sorry. Um, a very powerful man he will get you whatever you want
please.”

TherewasapausebeforeLeosaid,“Beggingwon’thelp.”
“I’llbegorpleadordowhateverjustpleaseletmegoletmegopleaseletmego.”
Even though I was saying the lines like a robot, I meant them—I wanted out of

there.Immediately.Mybreathwascominginshortgaspsandmyheadwasbeginning
tospin.IwantedtosaythestupidlinesasquicklyaspossiblesoIcouldturnandrun
outoftheroomandneverlookback—mayberunallthewaybacktoMaine.

“Ithinkwe’veseenenough,Leo,”saidthewomanatthedesk.“Thankyou,Sophie.

We’llbeintouch.”

“Thanks,” I muttered, and turned to leave. Before I could, Leo took my wrist,

stoppingme.Ilookedathishand,smoothandlightlytanned,hisfingerseasilycircling
mysmallwrist.

He leaned in slightly and said, “A little advice? Eye contact is a good thing.” His

thumbranacrossmywrist.“Okay?”

Iturnedmyeyesuptolookathim,socloseIfeltthewallsclosingin.NowIcould

finally see it all, everything that even the best telephoto lens couldn’t pick up—the
sharplinesofhisface,thesmoothskinofhischeeks,andhislips,fullandgorgeous.I
had to remind myself of the lies those lips told and the hearts they broke. With heat
pricklingmyface,Iturnedtoleavejustasthenextgirlwalkedin.Taller,thinnerand

morebeautifulthananyonehadarighttobe.

“Leo,thisisAmberHastings,alsoreadingfortheroleofGrace.Sophie,thankyou,

we’llcallyou,”Peggysaidtonudgemeonmyway.Ilookedtowardtheothersatthe
table,andnoticedtheguyinthecornereatinghissandwichlaughingsoftly.

AsIleftIheardsomeonesay,“Isn’ttheresomevettingprocessinplace?Whyare

wewastingourtimeontheseamateurs?”

I made my way through the door, brushing shoulders with the girl going in. I

wantedtotakeoffatafullsprint,puttingasmuchdistancebehindmeasIcouldfrom
what was surely the end of my short career in journalism. One thing was clear—I’d
blownit.

“

C H A P T E R 4

promise, you’ve never seen anything like this,” I said to Ava Marie, my
roommate, later that evening. The audition was late in the day so I’d gone

straighthomeafterward.“ItwaslikeIdidn’tevenspeakEnglish.Ididn’tgetoneline
outcorrectly.AndIheardthemmakingfunofmeonthewayout.”Ibitintoanother
nachocheesechipwithplanstofinishtheentirebag.

“I’msureitwasn’tthatbad,”saidAvaMarieasshestretchedonthefloor,herlegs

spreadinanalmostperfectlystraightline.

“No,Ipromiseyou,itwas.They’reprobablyallsittinginsomefancybardrinking

martinis and laughing over the worst audition they’ve ever seen.” I crunched on
another chip, trying not to see Leo Armstrong’s face. I rubbed my wrist where he
touchedme,gettingorangedustonmyskinintheprocess.Itfeltgoodtotalkabout.I
didn’thaveanyfriendsinL.A.—yet—andAvaMariewassomeonewhoknewtheropes.

I didn’t tell her, but I hoped she could help me with my column, once I finally

startedonitinthetruesenseofthings.Ifiguredwecouldgooutonthetowntogether,
checkingoutthehotspots.SheknewIworkedatCrush,butIhadtoldherthatIwas
also thinking about getting into acting. In a town like this, it wasn’t unusual. What I
didn’ttellherwasthatIwasworkingundercoveronastorytoexposeLeoArmstrong’s
caddishways.

AvaMariepulledbothherlegstogetherinfrontofher,flexedherheelsandleaned

overherknees.Shehadwhatcouldonlybedescribedastheperfectbody—long,lean,
strongbutnottoomuscular.Adancer’sbody—whichshewas.Adancer,Imean.

“I don’t think you get it,” I said, cringing when I thought of the way those people

looked at me when I read the lines. Siri had more personality than I did. “There was
thisguysittinginacornereatingasandwichduringthewholething.Ithinkhewasthe
janitor,AvaMarie,andevenhewaslaughingatme.”

“Look, Sophie,” Ava Marie said. “I don’t know you very well. We’ve only lived

togetheracoupleofweeks.ButonethingyoushouldknowaboutmeisthatIdon’tlie,
and I don’t bullshit. So if you’re looking to me to give you sympathy for this one
audition you had today, you’re looking in the wrong place. I go on auditions all the
time. It’s a full time job that doesn’t pay. Tonight is one of the few nights I have off
frommyotherjobattherestaurantandIreallydon’twanttospenditlisteningtoyou
whine.”

“Ididn’tmeantowhine…”Ibegan,stunnedbyherharshtoneandfrankly,alittle

embarrassed.SinceI’dmovedintoourtinyapartmentIrarelysawAvaMarie.Sheleft
in the morning for auditions and usually went straight to her job waiting tables on
ThirdStreetPromenade.

“Talk to me when you’ve been on seventeen auditions in one week and turned

down for every single one. And that happens for weeks on end. I’ve had to audition
through stress fractions and tendonitis. My body is in constant pain and my ego is
alwaysbeingsmackeddownapeg.I’vebeentoldI’mtoofat,thatmyneckistooshort,
mytorsotoolongformylegs.Ontopofitall,I’mdeadbroke.AndInevercomplain
aboutit.”

“AvaMarie,I’msorry,”Isaid.“Iwasjust…venting.”
“Venttosomeonebackhome,”shesaid,standingup.Shelookedatmeandletouta

deepsigh.Hervoicesoftenedasshesaid,“I’mnottryingtobemean.It’sforyourown
good.Youcan’tletwhatpeoplesayoutheresaygetyoudown.You’llneversurvive.”

My stomach felt heavy. I was totally regretting my dinner choice which, let’s be

honest,wasapitypartyforone.

Myphonerang,andunfamiliarnumberonthescreen.Ipickeditupandanswered,

hopingitwasn’tKaitlookingtogetallthegruesomedetails.

“Hello?”
“IsthisSophieAdams?”adeepandsomewhatfamiliarvoiceasked.
Myheartstoppedatthementionofmyundercovername.“Yes.”
“ThisisLeoArmstrong.IhopeI’mnotdisturbingyou.”
Iclearedmythroat,whichhadsuddenlybecomedry.“No.Notatall.”
“I’d like to talk to you about the audition today,” he said. His voice was clipped,

formal.“Ifyou’renottoobusy,I’dappreciateyourcomingbymycondo.”

“Yeah,”Isaid.“Sure.Icanstopbytomorrow…”
“Tonightwouldbebetter.Ifyou’renottoobusy.”
Ilookedatthehalf-eatenbagofchips.Mybigplansforthenight.Mystomachwas

droppingasifI’djuststeppedinanelevatorthatplummetedtwentystories.

“No,it’sfine.Imean,yeah.I’llcomeby.”
“Readyfortheaddress?”
WhenIhungupthephone,AvaMariesaid,“Youokay?Whowasit?”
“Oh,um,aguyfromtheaudition,”Isaid.
“You got a callback?” she said, and I could see the jealousy on her face, that one

auditionwouldgosowell.

“No, it was…some other guy. He invited me to his place to run lines.” The quick-

thinkingliesoundedprettygood,Ithought.

But Ava Marie looked at me like I was simple child—one she felt sorry for. “Oh,

Sophie.Sweet,innocentSophie.Idon’tknowwhatgoesoninMaine,butwhenaboy
calls to invite you to his house to run lines, he probably means something more like
runninghistongueinlinesalloveryourbody.”

Icouldn’thelpbutlaugh.“Iknow.”EventhoughIhadtotallynotthoughtofthat.I

couldn’t think straight, frankly. Leo Armstrong just called me. Leo Armstrong just
invited me over to his condo. Holy shit. I didn’t know whether to be excited that I
hadn’tblowntheaudition,oranervouswreckknowingthattheundercoverstorywas

movingforwarddespitemyefforts.“I’mnotthatdumb.”

“Yousureaboutthat?”shesaid.
“Damn,AvaMarie,”Isaid,offended.
“Sorry,”shesaid,withashrug.“Ijustwanttomakesureyougetit.”
“I get it,” I said with a little extra force. I was in it now. I was playing a role for a

breakthrougharticle.Ihadtosteelmyselfagainstthenerves.Ilookeddownatmyself.
“WhatamIgoingtowear?”Icouldn’twearthesamedressasthisafternoon.Thiswas
my second chance to make a good impression on him. I’d totally blown it in the
audition so I had to make sure I dazzled him tonight. I headed to my microscopic
bedroomtoseeifanythingwoulddo.

Ifoundaredstretchydressstillinaboxinmyfloor.I’dboughtittowearonadate

with Paul, my ex-boyfriend. We had planned to drive down to Portland for dinner to
celebratemygraduatingcumlaude.BeforeIcouldcutthetagsoff,hecalledtotellme
that our lives were going in different directions, and we should call it quits before
someonegothurt.Ididn’tevenknowatthetimeitwastoolateforthat.

“Don’tworry,”ItoldAvaMarieasItookofftheyogapantsI’dimmediatelyputon

whenIgothomefromtheaudition.“IknowwhatI'mdoing.”

Whichwasatotallie,butitseemedpretendingtobesomeoneIwasn’twastheonly

wayI’dmakeitthroughthisassignment,soImightaswellstartnow.

C H A P T E R 5

hen I pulled up to the high-rise condos on Wilshire Boulevard I felt like I was
pullinguptoaluxurioushotel.Aguyactuallyvaletparkedmycar.AsIwalked

awayIhadtoscrambletoseeifIevenhadanymoneytopayonceIleft.

I took the elevator to the twenty-third floor, per Leo’s instructions. I wasn’t sure

whatIwassupposedtodoonceIgotthere—hehadn’tgivenmeanapartmentnumber.

TurnedoutIdidn’tneedone.Helivedontheentiretwenty-thirdfloor.
HestoodattheendofthelonghallwayasIexitedtheelevator,waiting.
“Hello,”Isaid,asInervouslywalkedtowardhim.
“There she is,” he said, and a smile filled his face that could have lit all of the

Hollywood Hills. I couldn’t help but smile back. It felt good to know that seeing me
madehimlookthatway—evenifIhadtorememberwhatkindofguyhewas.

Hemadenomovetomeetmehalfwaydownthehall.Ifeltself-consciouswalking

towardhiminmytinydressandheelsasifIwasonarunway,andLeoArmstrongthe
onlyoneintheaudience.Theintenseblueofhiseyescameintofocusbeforetherestof
hisfeatures,likeabeaconaimedrightthroughme.Evenfromthedistance,Ifeltlikehe
sawme.

Finally,whenIstoodbeforehim,hesaid,“Welcome.I’mgladyoucouldmakeiton

suchshortnotice.”

“Yeah,sure,”Isaid.“Thanksforhavingme.”
I followed him through the door and into a world of total opulence and sleek

beauty.Thelivingroomwastwostorieshighandlinedwithglassandsteelandlooked
outovertheglitteringcitybelow.Itwasdecoratedincleanwhites,blacksandgray,all
sharp edges and no fuss. A staircase curved up to the second floor, and a chandelier
drippeddownfromthesecondstory,litwithcrystalsandLEDlights,givingitamagical
glow.

“Thisisamazing,”Isaid,notcaringthatIwaswide-eyedandslackjawed.
“Thanks,”hesaid.“It’sgoodforastarterhome.NexttimeI’llgetsomethingmore

spacious.”Iturnedtolookathim,stunned.Heflashedmeasmile,hislipscurlingupin
delight.“I’mteasingyou.Iknowit’sbigandgorgeous.SometimesIfeelguiltyaboutit.”
Ifollowedhimtothecouch,wherehemotionedformetositdown.Itwaswhiteand
soft,likecashmere.“That’sanotherlie.Idon’tfeelguiltyaboutit.Notonebit.Now—
whatcanIgetyoutodrink?”

Ihadnoideawhattoorder—shouldIaskforwine,orwouldamixeddrinkbemore

sophisticated?IwishIknewwhathisotherbeautiesdrankbecauseitsuddenlyfeltlike
adauntingquestion.

I wondered for the thousandth time why he’d even see fit to invite me over. I’d

definitelybungledtheaudition,andintermsoflooks—Ididn’tevenrateonthesame
scaleastheotherwomenwho’dbeenintheroomwaiting…

SowhatwasIherefor?
“Thatwasn’tatrickquestion,”hesaid,watchingme.Hehandswereinthepockets

ofhisdarkpants,andwithhissleevescasuallyrolledup,Icouldseethestrengtheven
inhisforearms.Incredible.Ihadn’tseenanybeachshotsofhim,butIsuddenlyfound
myselfdesperatelywonderingwhattherestofhisarmslookedlike.Ifjustlookingat
hisforearmscoulddothistome,Iwasn’tsureIcouldhandletherest.

“Sorry,” I said, smiling. I needed to calm down. “I’ll just have whatever you’re

having.”

“Good,” he said. “A director just sent over this bottle of prosecco. It’s a nice wine,

don’tgetmewrong,”hesaidfromthebarashegotglassesandthebottlefromthewine
refrigerator.Heheldupthebottle.“Butdoyouthinkgoingoverbudgetbytwomillion
dollarsisworthonebottleofItalianbubbly?Hecouldhaveatleastsentmeacase.”

“Orboughtyouthevineyard,”Isaid.
“Smartgirl,”hesaid.Thefainteststubbleofbeardhadappearedsinceourmeeting,

givinghimamorecarelesslook,despitethesharpclotheshestillwore.

Heshotmeaquickgrinandmystomachthrilled.
I was quickly finding that it made me happy to please him and make him smile.

Whowouldn’twanttoseethatfacelightup?Andseeinghimsmilealsoalleviatedthe
sensationthatIwasinsofarovermyhead,Imightdrown.

On an oversized coffee table was a plate full of fresh fruit, cheeses and baguette

slices.Ithoughtofmychipdinner,andmystomachgrowled.Leosatnexttome,close
enoughtoreachoutandtouchme.Thefeelingfromtheauditionofbeingsocloseto
himreturned,andIfoundmyselffeelingjittery.Hehandedmetheglassofprocesso,
andourfingersbrushed.Idefinitelyneededthealcoholtocalmmyselfdown.

Leoheldhisglassaloft.Heturnedhisbodytowardmineandlookedatmeinaway

thatfeltpiercing,almostintrusive.Butthenalittlesmileplayedonthoselusciouslips
ofhis,andhesaid,“Here’stonailingauditions.”

Ismiledandrolledmyeyes.Iclinkedhisglassandtookadrink.OnceIhadalittle

liquidcourageinmybelly,Ifeltcomfortablesaying,“Canwejustagreethatthatwas
theworstauditionyou’veeverseen?”

“Theworst?Absolutelynot,”hesaid.“Youdidn’tpassout.AtleastnotthatIsaw.”
“Peoplehavefaintedinauditions?”
“Youhavenoidea.Whenwedoopenauditionsliketheonewehadtoday—usually

whenwehaveamoviethathassomanysmallerroles,it’seasiertojustopenitup—we
getlotsofinterestingauditions.Peoplewithonelineofdialoguewillcomeinwiththis
wholebackstoryfortheircharacter,onlytosaytheline,‘Yourcarhasarrived.’Orsome
wantfeedbackimmediately,andsometimestheactorswillthrowafitifyoudon’ttell
themwhattheywanttohear.Soonascaleofonetocrazy,yourswasn’tsobad.”

“Yeah,butIcouldn’tevengetoutasingleline.Iwasatotalidiot.”

“Youwerecharming,”hesaid.“Andgorgeous.”
“Stop,”Isaid,theheatonmyfaceunbearableIhadtocoveritwithmyfreehand.

Leoreachedupandtookmyhand,gentlypullingitaway.Thesurenessofhishandon
mine felt electric, and when I looked at him his eyes danced with delight—probably
knowinghiswordscouldmakeasillygirllikemeblushsoeasily.

“IthinkIcaneasilyguessthatyou’renotfromaroundhere,”hesaid.
“Nope,”Isaid.“Howcanyoutell?”Wasitmydress?OrsomethingaboutthewayI

spoke?

“Youdon’thavethatjaded,cynicalwayaboutyoulikemostpeoplehere,”hesaid.

“Also, you look like a real woman, not some pin-thin, plastic Barbie doll type. You
look…allnatural.”Hiseyesscanneddownmeforamoment,anditwasinsuchasexy
way,fardifferentfromthewayBethanyhadlookedmedownyesterday.“Sowhereare
youfrom?”

“Maine,” I said, feeling embarrassed. I’d practically gotten laughs at the editorial

meetingforstatingsuchashamefulstatement.

Leolookedoffandsaid,“Ispentafallthere,upinBarHarbor.Youknowit?”
“Yeah,ofcourse,”Isaid,pleasedthatheactuallyknewMaineassomethingmoreas

thatstatewayupthereinthecorner.“It’sonMountDesertIsland.”

“Right,” he said. “Yeah. It was really a beautiful, picturesque small town. Quiet,

secluded.AndIknowMaineisknownforitslobsterbutIhadtheabsolutebestatthis
littlerestauranttherejustoffthemainstreet.”

“I live further south from there but I’ve been on vacations up there on long

weekends.It’sgreat.”

Heaskedmemoreaboutmyself,likehowlongI’dbeeninL.A.andhowI’dended

uphere.Insteadoftellinghimthatone,andonlyone,magazinehiredme,IsaidIwas
mostly looking for an adventure. “I just thought I’d come out here and see what
happened—withthewholeactingthing,”Iadded.“Idon’tplanonlivingmywholelife
here.”

“No?Thinkyou’llgobacktoMaine?”heasked.
“Godno,”Isaid.“Imean,IlikewhereI’mfrom.Ijustwanttodosomethingmore,

youknow?Somethingalittlebigger.OnlyIdon’tknowwhatthatisyet.”

“I’msureyou’llfigureitout,”hesaid.“Idon’tknow,Sophie.Ihaveagoodfeeling

aboutyou.”

Icouldfeelmyselfblushingagain,soItookasipofthewine.
“You’re also very beautiful, too. Although I’m sure plenty of people have told you

thatbefore,”hecontinued.

“Stop,”Isaid,smilingandcoveringmyfacewithmyhands,wonderingifKaithad

actuallybeenrightthatIwassomehowLeo’stype.Itseemedbizarretosaytheleast—
patentlyimpossible.

AndyethereIwas,sittingnexttohimathiscondo.
“Andevenmorebeautifulwhenyoublush,”hesaid.“Don’teverhideyourface.It’s

criminal.”Hetookmyhandgentlyandguideditbackdowntomylap,andhisthumb
brushed on my bare thigh, sending a shock straight up between my thighs. I shifted
slightlyonthecouch.Icouldn’thelpmyself.Whenhereleasedmyhand,dragginghis
fingers across my thigh, I let out a breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding. I took a

drinkofthewine,concentratingonthelightbubblesthatdancedacrossmytongueand
downmythroat.

“So,” I began, trying to pull myself back to some sort of decent conversation. “Do

youhaveanynotesformefrommyaudition?AnythingIcandotoimprovemyskills?”

Hesmiledacrookedsmile,whichdamn,wasevenbetterthanthefullversion.He

wasamusedbyme,andIhadafeelingheenjoyedwatchingmesquirm.

“Isthatwhatyouwant?”heasked.“Formetohelpyouimproveyourskills?”
“Well,I…”Istammered.Atthatexactmoment,mydressslippedoffoneshoulder.

Leoreachedupandtuckedthefabricbackinplace.Helefthishandthere,hisfingers
holdingontomyshoulder,pressingdelicately.

“Perfecttiming,huh?”hesaid.
Ilaughed,releasingsometension,andcoveredmyfacewithmyhandagain.Total

embarrassment.

“No, no,” he said, teasing, taking my hand again. “What’d I say about covering up

thatgorgeousface?”

ThelastthingIwantedwasforhimtoletgoofme,tostoptouchingme,butthat’s

exactlywhathedid.Thisguywasgettingtome,andfast.

Ikeptremindingmyselfthatnoneofthiswasreal,butsuddenlyitwasfeelingalltoo

real,andmydefenseshadnotbeenpreparedforthekindofheatandchemistryIwas
experiencing.

Leo stood from the couch and said, “Listen, Sophie. I don’t like to pretend.” He

walkedtowardatablenearthetwo-storywindow,wherethecitylightsdancedbelow
us.Heopenedadrawerandpulledsomethingout.“Iliveinaworldofmakebelieve,
with movies and people using each other to get ahead. So I need to know I can trust
you.”Hesatbackdownnexttome.Onthetable,nearallthefoodIstillwantedtoeatif
onlyIcouldstoppanicking,LeoArmstrongplacedpapersandapendownbeforeme.
“For someone like me,” he said, “it’s a part of my reality. Before we talk about your
audition or…anything else…I need you to sign this non-disclosure agreement. It’s
standardbutfeelfreetotakeamomenttoreadit.Ifyoudon’tfeelcomfortablesigning
it,Icompletelyunderstand,butunfortunatelyIwon’tbeabletoenjoyyourcompany
withoutit.”

Ipickedupthepaperandletmyeyesscanthewords.Theflirtingofmomentsago

hadcertainlyevaporated.Legaldocumentswilldothattoagirl.

“Youwantmetosignthis?”Iasked.
“Iknow,”hesaid.“It’sstrange.Butmylawyerinsistsandwell,likeIsaid,Iliveina

worldwherepeoplewanttotakeadvantageofmeateveryturn,sellwhateverpieceof
metheycantothetabloids,sothisjusthelpsprotectmeand,frankly,alsoshowsme
upfront who is really interested in me,” he said, touching his chest, “and who is
interestedinalltherest.”Heliftedhishandtoindicatethegrandnessofhishome,and
allhiswealthandthepowerthatcamewithit.

AsIheldthedocumentbeforeme,Itriedtogathertheracingthoughtsinmyhead.

My eyes scanned across the document, flipping through the pages. I couldn’t take
photosofhim.Icouldn’tdiscloseanyinformation,atall,zero.Ibasicallycouldn’ttalk
abouthimtoanyone,becauseifIdidthatpersonwhodidn’tsigntheagreementcould
sellthestories.Thefinancialpenaltieswereupwardsoffivemilliondollarsforspeaking

orwritingabouthiminanyformwhatsoever--orIwouldbesued.IwantedtoaskifI’d
besuedforeventhinkingabouthim,butdecidedthatregardless,Iwasinwayovermy
head,andIneededhelp.

“DoyoumindifIusetherestroom?”Iasked,settingthedocumentsbackdownon

thetable.

“Yeah,sure,”Leosaid.“Ontheothersideofthestaircase.”
I took my purse and headed into the bathroom, which was just as sleek and

beautiful as everything else I’d seen (including Leo). It was white with mirrored
vanities and in the corner was a plush white chaise lounge chair, perfect for faintly
ladies.

ItookaseatonthechairandfiredoffatexttoKait.Jobimpossible,Iwrote.Wants

metosignNDA.MeansIcan’tsayanythingtoanyoneabouthimorus.IfIdon’tsign,he
showsmethedoor.

I took a deep breath after I sent it off. I walked to the sink and looked at my

reflection. I dropped the shoulder of my dress to see what Leo had seen before he
pulledthestrapbackupforme.

Ithoughtforamoment,wonderingifIwasperhapsrelievedthatthiswasn’tgoing

toworkoutafterall.AndthenIrealizedthatno—Iwasn’trelieved.Iwasdisappointed.

My phone pinged. You’re with him? Why didn’t you tell me you were seeing him

again?Greatjob!

Irolledmyeyes,frustrated.WhatabouttheNDA?Seeabove.
Noworries,shewrote,andIwaitedformoreguidance.Whennothingcameback,I

texted,ButIcan’tsignit,right?WhatshouldIdo?

Anexcruciatingmomentlatershewrote,SophieAdamsdoesn’texist.Docwon’tbe

validanywaysoumightaswellsign.SophieScottisintheclear.Gogethim.

She was so sure, so quickly that it still made me pause. All kinds of thoughts and

emotionsflashedthroughmymind.

Before, this entire plan had been theoretical. I’d never truly believed that I could

snagtheinterestofamanlikeLeoArmstrong,andI’dneverthoughtthroughwhatit
wouldtrulymeantogiveafakenameanddeceiveanotherhumanbeingthisway.But
nowthatthedecisionwasinfrontofme,Ifelthesitantanddeeplyunsure.Afraid.

This is wrong. You can’t sign a fake name, you can’t just lie to him, knowing that

everything he’s saying and doing is going to be used against him in an article that
millionsofpeoplemightsee.

Ontheotherhand,ifIbackedoutnow,myjournalismcareerwouldcometoaswift

and untimely end. Besides, everyone said that Leo Armstrong was a womanizing
bastardwhotreatedfemaleslikedisposalproductshecouldtossawaywheneverheso
chose.Amanlikethatdidn’tdeservehonesty.

He’stheonelying,Iremindedmyself.
Butisthisreallygoingtoendupokay?DoesKaitknowwhatshe’stalkingabout?I

wondered. My stomach twisted uncertainly and my mind warned me that I was
crossingalinethatcouldn’tbeuncrossed.

Inthemoment,though,IhadnoalternativebuttotrustKait.
Okay,Iwroteback.WillsignSophieAdams.
Kait texted back in milliseconds. Want full details tomorrow at 8:00 a.m.…even if

you’reupallnight.

“

C H A P T E R 6

ood,”LeosaidwhenIhandedoverthesigneddocument.“I’llputthisawayand
wewon’thavetothinkaboutitagain.”

What’s this we, I thought. I was nervous about putting a fake signature on a legal

document, but I was also bothered by the fact that he had all the power. He could
throw my name around all he wanted, but if I even breathed his name, I’d be sued,
wipedoutclean.

Maybe Kait was right about him. What kind of man started a relationship with a

legaldocument?Itwascreepy.

“I bet you like having women sign those contracts,” I said, feeling bold thinking

aboutKaitandherwordsofjusticeforwomen.“Makesyoufeelpowerful.”

Hesetdownhisglassofproseccoandfixedhiseyesonme.Hemovedclosertome,

flickinghiseyesdownonmylipsforamoment.“Sophie,I’mtheheadofEpixStudios.
The youngest in their history. Last year alone my movies made one-point-seven
billionsdollarsnet—andthatwasonrevenuesofeight-point-twobillion.Lookaround
you.Thishomemightimpressyoubutitisn’tmyonlyone—Ihavetwoothers.Iam
powerful.Idon’tneedsomedocumentsignedbyagirlIjustmettomakemefeelthat
way.”

“Look,Ididn’t—”
“Ifyouwanttoleave,youcan.Nohardfeelings,”hesaid,spreadinghishands.“It

doesn’thavetobecomplicated.TherearesomethingsIhavetodotoprotectmyself.
It’s just the way my life is. But if you think you won’t get anything out of this, that’s
whereyou’rewrong.”

“WhatwillIget—lotsofsex?”Isaidsarcastically,myheartthrumminginmychest.
He moved even closer to me. I could almost feel his breath on my cheek as he

lookeddownatme.“Morethanyoueverdreamed—ifyouwant.I’llhaveyoubegging
me for more before the ink dries on that contract.” I swallowed hard, and tried to
remember to breathe. Leo still hadn’t moved, his scent wafting over me—the
sweetnessofthewine,andsomethingspicy.

“Iwasn’tbeingseriousaboutthesexthing,”Imumbled,asmyheartraced.
“Doyouwanttostay?”hesaidcoolly.
Inoddedyes.Andnotjustbecauseitwasmyjob.Ifonlyitwasthatsimple,butthe

electric feeling surging up and down my spine wasn’t about a job well done. It was

aboutthewayLeowasmakingmefeel.

A smile spread across his chiseled face. “Good,” he said softly. He picked up his

drink.“So—doyouwantthetour?Mostpeoplewantthetour.”

I gathered myself as best I could from the heat of the moment. “I’m not most

people,”Isaid,whichmadehimchuckle.

“No,SophieAdams,youmostcertainlyarenot.”
Thementionofmyfalsenamebroughtmebacktojobathand.Findoutmoreabout

thisguyandhiswayswithwomen.

“AllIwanttoseeisL.A.,”Isaid.
“Isthatall?”hesaid,amused.
Inodded.“Showmethatview.”
Heextendedhisarm.“Afteryou.”
Wewalkedacrosstheglossyfloorstothelargedoorsthatslidopenonthebalcony

thatwrappedaroundhalfthefloor.

Ileanedonthesteelrailing,lookingovertheedge.Thestreetwassofarbelow,tiny

littledotsoflife.Aheadwastheglitteringlightsofthecity,sparklinglikejewelry.

“Sothisisamilliondollarview,”Isaid,thebreezelightonmybareskin.
“Itcostalittlemorethanthat,”hegrinned.Leoleanedontherailingnexttome,his

forearmbrushingmine.“Whatotherauditionshaveyoubeenon?”

Ituckedmychin,embarrassed.“None.Thatwasmyfirstone.”
“Youdon’tsay,”hesaid,turningtofaceme.“Ineverwouldhaveguessed.”
“Don’tteaseme.”
“ButI’msogoodatit.”
“Anddon’tbearrogant,either,”Isaid,fixinghimwithmymoststernexpression.
“Youknow,ifyou’dplayedthepartthiswellattheaudition,youmighthavestooda

chance.Atleastforacallback.”

“Well, I don’t have a lot of experience,” I said. He raised a brow. “In acting,” I

clarified.MynipplessuddenlyfeltstiffandIfeltheatrisetomycheeks.

“Luckilyforyou,you’restandingnexttosomeonewhoknowsathingortwoabout

acting, auditions, casting…a general knowledge of the movie business, some would
say.”

“No kidding?” I said. “Hmm, you know it’s so easy to forget what you do for a

living.”WhenIsmiled,hesmiledback.

“Honestly,though.Icouldgiveyousometips.Youweren’tasbadasyouthink.”
“MyroommatesaysIshouldgetoverit,”Isaid.“She’sadancerandjokesthather

full-timejobisgettingrejections.”

“She’snotaltogetherwrong,”Leosaid.“There’salotofrejectionintheindustry.It’s

notfortheweakhearted.”

“GoodthingI’mstrong,then,”Isaid,andbelieveme,itwasallfalseconfidence.
Leolookedatmecarefully,hiseyesscanningeveryinchofmyface,andthendown

tomyhipsandwaist.“Idon’tthinkyou’reanactress.”

“Wha—what?YesIam.Imean,I'mtryingtobe.”
“Youeitherareoryouaren’t,andIdon’tthinkyou’reanactress,”hesaid,inching

closertome.“Youhadn’tevenheardofTheGroundlings,andeverybodywho’sstarting
upinactingknowsaboutTheGroundlings.Sowhydon’tyoutellmewhatyou’rereally

heretodo.”

I couldn’t speak. I don’t think I moved. “Come on, Sophie. Confess,” he said in a

teasingwhisper,thetrafficbelowushumming.

My heart stopped and I could hardly swallow. “Confess what?” I said through a

clenchedjaw.

“Whatdoyouwanttobewhenyougrowup?”hesaid,andIcouldhearinhisvoice

thathedidn’ttrulysuspectjusthowclosehewastoexposingmylies.

Iturnedtolookbackattheview.IcouldbettertrustmyselfifIdidn’thavetolookat

him. “You’re right—I’m not an actor. I took the audition because I'm desperate for
work. I just moved here and, well, money is tight. I saw an ad for the audition and
decidedtogiveitashot.”

“Didyouwakeupthinkingtodaywasthedayyou’dbediscovered?”
Ilaughed.“Hardly.”
“Tellmewhatyouwant,”hesaid.“Iwanttoknow.”Hetiltedhisheadandlookedat

me,andsomethingaboutthewayhiseyesfoundmemademethinkthat,evenifthis
wasallpartofhisgame,hisdidwanttoknow.

Ibitthecornerofmylip,thinkingifitwasamistaketosaywhatIwasabouttosay.

“Iwanttobeawriter,”Isaid,likingtellingthetruthtohimforonce.

“Isthatso?”hesaid,hisvoicesoft.Hemovedclosertome,closingthesmallbitof

spacebetweenus,leavingmereinches.

Iwasalittlestunnedthathedidn’tsoundsuspiciousorupsetattherevelation.After

all,KaitandtheothershadsaidthatLeowouldnevertrustawriter.

Words failed me, so I nodded yes. I ran my hand over my arm, chills from the

breeze—ormaybefromLeo’scloseness.

“Cold?”heasked.Withoutwaitingformyresponse,heranhishandsupanddown

myarms,slowly.Hisskinonminewashot,givingmeanotherdoseofchills.“Areyou
sure?Becauseyou’vegotsomemajorgoosebumpshere.”

“I’mfine,”Isaid.
“Isthishelping?”heasked,hishandsstillmovingonme.
“Yes.”
“Doyouwantmetomovecloser?”
“Yes.”
Hewrappedhisarmsaroundme,pullingmeintohischest.Icouldfeelhowstrong

anddefinedhischestwas,andIlayahandthere,feelinghisstrength.Heputahandon
my lower back and tugged my hips into his. He held me there for a moment as my
heart raced. His arms felt so good around me, so secure. The breeze of the warm air
flutteredoverme.Icouldn’thelpbutpressmyselfintohimalittlemore,andIfelthow
excitedhewas—thesameasme.Throughthethinfabricofmydress,Ipushedalittle
closerasheheldmealittletighter.

Leoliftedmychinup,andoureyesmet.Heheldmygazeashegavetheslightest

rockagainstme,showingmeagainhowhardhewas,andohgoodLordhowbig,andit
made me lose my breath. My mouth was open, wanting his on mine so desperately,
waitingforhimtodomore.

I wondered if any of this would go in my article, and then told myself to stop

thinking about the article and the magazine. If I was going to really do this, really

embracemymission,thenI’dhavetotemporarilyforgetthetruthandbelievemyown
lie.

AnotherslightpangofguilthitmystomachandIpusheditaway.
Conscience be gone. I have a hot man holding me tight, and I’m not ruining this

momentwithmyneurotic,obsessiveoverthinking.

Leo slid his hand around the back of my neck, gathered my hair in his hand, and

pulled me to his lips. His lips touched mine softly, and it took every inch of my
willpowertolethimgoathisspeed,becausetheslowtouchofhislipswasbeyondhot.

“Thisbody,”hesaid,hisbreathonmylips,hishandstracingthecurveofmyhips

anddownmyback.“Inthisdress.”Hekissedmeagain,butdeeper,histonguefinally
strokingmineashecontinuedtopushhimselfagainstmycrotch.Iletoutawhimper—
Icouldn'thelpmyself.Iwasinpain,onfire,andallfromakissandatouch.Ineeded
more,somuchmore,butIwilledmyselftogoslowandlethimsetthepace.

Leodeepenedthekiss,meldingourmouthstogether,tastingeachotherlikeitwas

lifewewerelookingfor.Myhandtracedupthebackofhisneck,andIdugmyfingers
intohishair,grippinghimandtryingtogetmoreofhim.Mybodywantedtomeltright
intohis.

He pulled back, our lips tinged from the pressure. “Do you even realize how sexy

youare?Whatyou’redoingtome?”

Ileanedupandkissedhimagain,theonlywordsIcouldfindtotellhimthathewas

theonedoingthistome—andIwantedmore.Moreofhistongueonmine,moreofhis
handsonmoreofmybody.Thecitybelowhadfadedaway,andallthatmatteredwas
Leo’shands,andLeo’smouth.Somethingbeyondmycontrolwaspullingustogether
andIdidn’twanttostopit.

He moved his hand around my hip and down the side of my thigh, giving me

shivers for the place he just passed. He kept his mouth firmly on mine as he bent
slightlytogatherupthehemofmyskirttotouchmybareskin,hiswarmhandgriping
andrubbingmythigh.IwasthankfulI’ddecidedtowearmysilkpantiesashishand
movedovermyass.HepulledhislipsawayfrommineandIalmostwhimperedatthe
loss.Hehookedhishandundermykneeandliftedmyleg,settingmystrappy-heeled
footontherailingnearmyshin.Heslidbackthefabricofmyskirtagain,pushingitup
tomyhip.Hemovedhishandovermypanties,cuppingmycrotch.

“God, I can feel how wet you are even through this,” he said, moving his fingers

acrossme.Irockedforward,needingmoreofhim,buthisotherhandheldfirmtomy
hip.“No.Staystill.”

I didn’t think it was physically possible, and I wanted to cry out. As he moved his

hand across my panties, using his middle finger for extra pressure on my slit, I held
tighttohisbroad,strongshoulders.“Please,”Isaid.

Hepulledbackandlookedatme,asmileplayingonhislips.“Alreadybegging,are

you?”

Insteadofspeaking,Ipulledhimtowardmeandcrushedhismouthwithmine.He

responded,ourtonguesmovingtogetherasheheldfirmonmyhip.Undermyskirt,he
finallymadehismove.

Hemovedasidethesmallbitoffabricandslidhisfingeracrossmyslit.“You’reso

wet,”hesaid.“Haveyoubeenwetallnight?”

“SinceIfirstsawyou,”Ipantedashisfingercontinuedtotease,movingbackand

forth but not entering me. He circled my clit, hard and throbbing. I draped my arm
overhisshoulder,holdingtight.

Finally he slipped a finger inside me, giving me the slightest bit of release but not

nearlyenough.Heslowlypulledhisfingeroutandcircledmyclitagainbeforedipping
itbackintomeasdeepashecouldgo,andoutagain,backandforth.Myhandslidfrom
hisneckdownthishardchest.AsIcontinueddownpasthiswaist,almosttothethingI
wantedmost,hestoppedme,hisfingersstillinmysoakedpussyandhisotherhandon
mywrist.

“No,”hesaid,hisvoiceragged.“Nottonight.Justwait.”
Howcouldhestandit?Howcouldhegososlow,sopatient?Iwantedtoripevery

stitch of clothing from him, run my hands and lips over his entire body, feeling how
hardwas,fromthemusclesinhisarmsandchesttothebulgepushingoutthefrontof
hisperfectly-tailoredpants.Ineededmoreofhim,andthenheslippedasecondfinger
insideme,movingslowenoughtomakemyheadspin.Iclosedmyeyesandfeltonly
hisfingersonme,torturingme,thrillingme,makingmewanttoscreamout.Whenhe
insertedathirdfinger,Idid.

“God, you’re so sexy to watch,” Leo said, moving his fingers faster, deep, moving

themsothattheyrubbedmyclitandIknewIcouldn’tholdonmuchlonger.“Iwantto
tasteyou.”

I opened my eyes, looking at him. For a moment, the image of his tongue on my

soaked pussy flashed through my mind, and it looked perfect. It was exactly what I
wanted,beforeIevenrealized.

Keepinghiseyesonme,hesaid,“Nottonight.TonightIwanttowatchyoucomeon

myhand.”

Iletoutasmallgroan,disappointed,butthewayhecontinuedtothrillmewithjust

hisfingerswasbeyondamazing.Ifeltnothingbuthisfingersinsideme,myentireskin
buzzingwithpleasure,mystomachclenched,mypussyreadytoexplodealloverhis
hand. His own breathing had sped up, matching mine. I whimpered the closer he
pushedmetoorgasm.Knowinghewaswatchingmyfacemademeself-conscious,but
italsothrilledme.Hislongfingersbrushedovermyclit,andwhenhebreathedoutmy
name,thatwastheend.Theworldexplodedbehindmyeyes,upthroughmystomach
andoutmythroat,whereIgroanedandcriedoutlikeIneverhadbefore.Myheadfell
onLeo’sshoulder,myhandsstillholdingontohim,purelyforsupport.Otherwise,I’d
fallrightover.

“God,”Ifinallymanaged.
He slid his fingers out of me. Quietly he said, “I still want to taste you.” I watched

mesmerized as put his fingers in his mouth, moaning as he pulled them out, slowly,
savoringeverymoment.“Iknewagirlassweetasyouwouldtastethesame.”

Lockingmyeyestohis,Itookhiswrist,surprisinghim—andmyself.Iopenedmy

mouth and slide my tongue from the bottom of those fingers all the way up before
wrappingmylipsaroundthetop.ThenIdippedmyheadtotakeallthreefingersinmy
mouthandslowlysliddownandup.

“JesusChrist,”hebreathed,hiseyesheavyashewatched,fascinated.Igaveonelast

pullasIreleasedhisfingers.“You’reincredible.”

I lowered my leg from the railing and readjusted my dress, back into its proper

position.

“Seenenough?”hesaid.
“Hardly.”
We went back inside settled on the couch, where the untouched food and barely

sippedproseccostillsat.Asilencefelloverus.Notawkward,exactly.Leolookedatme
withease,theluststillpresentinthecurveofhislipsbutthehungersatiated,atleast
fornow.

“So,”hesaid,takingadrink.“Thinkyou’llbetakinganymoreauditions?Ijustwant

tobewarnedinadvance.“

“Veryfunny,”Isaid,eatingsomeofthecheeseonthetable.IfIwashungrybeforeI

wasravenousnow.

“ItoldyouIwasgoodwithteasing.”Asmiledplayedonhislips,andIcouldn’thelp

butsmilebackathim.“Tellmemoreaboutwriting.Whatkinddoyouwanttodo?”

“Fiction,” I said. “Novels. Maybe screenplays,” I added. I hadn’t thought about

screenplays until then, but it seemed to please Leo. I wished I could tell him
everything,butthatwasnowanimpossibility.

“Good,”hesaid.“ThenIcanstillgiveyousomepointers,andwewon’thavetolimit

ouractivitiestothebalcony.”

I laughed. Telling him about writing had been surprisingly easy. I didn’t feel silly

like I sometimes did, when people would snicker, “So you wanna write the great
Americannovel?”

WhenI’dtoldmyex-boyfriendPaulthatIwantedtomajorinwriting,he’dsaid,“I

hopeyouwanttobeateacher,becausethat’stheonlykindofjobsomeonewiththat
kindofdegreewilleverget.”

Itstungmetorealizethatsofar,LeowasnothinglikeI’dimaginedhimtobe.Right

now,infact,IlikedhimbetterthananyoneelseI’dmetsincemovingtoLA.

Still,Ihadtoremembermymission.“Didyoualwayswanttobetheyoungesthead

ofamoviestudio?”

“Hardly,”hesaid.“ButI’vealwaysbeendriven,that’sforsure.”Hestareddownat

thefloorforamoment.“Istartedoutwantingtobeawriter.”

“Really?”Iasked,surprised.
“Yeah,” he said, laughing. “I wrote this terrible screenplay when I was still an

undergradandsubmittedittoanotherstudio.IwassofullofconfidencethatIwassure
they’dbuyitforamilliondollars.Ididn’tgetsomuchasarejection.Theydidn’teven
bother.”

“Ouch,” I said. I could totally relate. I’d once submitted an overly wrought short

story to a literary magazine. I did get a rejection—an auto-reply from the site’s info
box.

“Yeah.Ifanyonefindsoutthatscriptisfloatingaround,it’llbedugupandlaughed

atbytheindustry,”hesaid.

“Well,Iwon’ttell,”Isaid.“Idon’treallyfeellikebeingsued.”
“Sophie,”hesaid,disappointed.Hegavehisheadtheslightestofshakes.“Don’tdo

that.”

I didn’t say anything. I guessed teasing about the contract was out of bounds. I

didn’t want the awkwardness to settle in after such an incredible moment on the
balcony,soafteramomentIsaid,“Ishouldprobablygetgoing.”Istoodup.“Thanksso
muchforhavingmeover.”

“Ofcourse,”hesaid,standingupwithme.“I’llwalkyoutodothedoor.”
Westartedacrossthemarblefloors,myheelsechoinginthelargespace.Justbefore

he opened the door that led down the hall to what I now realized was a private
elevator,Leosaid,“Wait.Willyoudomeafavor?”

Ishrugged.“Sure.”
“Stayhere,”hesaid,andwentbackinsidehiscondo,whichisasillythingtocalla

placethatwasmorelikeamansioninthesky.WhenLeocameback,heheldastackof
papersinhishand.“Thisscripthasbeenfloatingaroundtheofficeformonths.It’sbeen
read by a dozen executives and ten junior readers but no one can figure out what’s
missing.Itshouldbeagoodstorybutsomethingisoff.Wouldyoureaditandletme
knowwhatyouthink?Youcanwritenotesonthiscopy.”

“Yeah,” I said, stunned. “Sure.” One thing I realized in taking this script from Leo

Armstrongwasthatheintendedtoseemeagain.Thatwasgood—forthemagazine,of
course.

Asincredibleasthebalconyhadbeen—asamazingashewaswithhislipsandhands

—Idecidedtousehimlikehewasusingme.Mutuallybeneficial.Ifawomanwantedto
beinhispresence,theyhadtosignawaytheirrightstohim.Hegotallthecomfortof
doingwhateverhewantedintherelationshipknowinghe’dsuffernoconsequences.

Eventually,he’dtireofmeandunceremoniouslydumpmelikehedideveryother

girl.

Sure, he seemed nice enough right now, but that was because he wanted to sleep

withme.Assoonashegotwhathewantedfromme,histruecolorswouldcomeout
andthenI’dbenothingtohim.

Fine.
ThatwouldsimplymakeiteasiertodothehitpiecethatKaitwaslookingformeto

writeabouthimforCrush.

Butwillyoureallysleepwithhimifthat’swhatitcomesto?Sleepwithamanyoudon’t

respect,whodoesn’trespectyou?

Isighed,knowingthatthiswastheworstpartofitall.
SleepingwithhimwaswhatIwaslookingforwardtomost.

“

C H A P T E R 7

pillit,”Kaitsaid,practicallypullingmeintoheroffice.“Iwanteverydetail.”

IwassurprisedtoseeAlexaandBethanysittinginKait’soffice.Theywereall

waiting,penshoveringovernotepads.

“Grabachairfromdownthehall,”Bethanysaid.
I took the extra chair from Kait’s assistant’s desk and rolled it into Kait’s office,

whereallthreewomenlookedatmeaseagerlyaschildrenwaitingfortheirbirthday
presents.

“KaitsaidyouwereatLeoArmstrong’splacelastnight,”Bethanybegan,onceIsat

down.

“Musthavebeensomeaudition,”Alexasmirked.
Shiftinginmyseat,Ilickedmylips.“Itotallyblewtheaudition.”
“Itcertainlydoesn’tsoundlikeyoudid,”Kaitsaid,slowlyswivelingherchairlikea

lioncirclingitsprey.“Youclearlydidsomethingright.”

“Howdidhegetyoutohisapartment?”Alexaasked.“Like,whatwashisexcuse?”
“Alexa,he’sLeoArmstrong,”Bethanysnickered.“Hedoesn’tneedanexcuse.”
Ihadtoadmit,Bethanywasrightaboutthat.“Hejustcalledandinvitedmeover,”I

said.“Thatwassortofit.”

“And?”BethanyandAlexaaskedatthesametime.
“AndIwent.Hisplaceishuge.Ithasitsownelevator,”Iaddedlamely.
Alexa and Bethany exchanged looks like they couldn’t believe the boring details I

was handing over about a such a huge player. I didn’t feel comfortable at all telling
themoranyoneelseaboutthebalconyincident,andotherthanthatwedidn’texactly
talkabouttoomuch—atleastnothingnewsworthy.Whatwedidtalkabouthadbeen
clouded by the way he made me—and my body—feel when his hands were on me,
somethingIthoughteverywakingsecondsince.

“Lookather,she’sblushing,”Alexasaid.
“You’reholdingoutonus,Sophie,”Bethanysaid.
IlookedtoKait,knowingsheplannedtogetitalloutofme.“Sophie,”shebegan.“I

shouldn'thavetoremindyoualreadythatthisstoryisdueinafewweeks.Iintendto
haveitinthenextissue.There’snodraggingyourfeetonthis.”

“Iunderstand,”Isaid,feelinglikeIwasfailingalready.Iwasn’ttheretoprotectLeo

Armstrong,nomatterhowgoodhisfingersfeltinsidemelastnight.That’swhathewas

goodatdoing,tohundredsofwomen,probably.Iwasjustanotherinanever-ending
string.

SoItoldthemwhatIcould.Itoldthemwhathisplacelookedlike.Kaitsaiditcould

beagoodwaytoshowsomesettingforthepiece.

“Soundslikehisdécorisassterileandunemotionalasheisabouthiswomen,”she

said.Ihadjustthoughtitwassleekandmodern,butIsupposedIsawherpoint.

ItoldthemhowIhadtotellhimthatIwasn’treallytryingtobeanactress,andthat

he seemed to believe me and it hadn’t made him suspicious, even when I told him I
wantedtobeawriter.

“Didyoutellhimscreenplays?”Kaitasked.
“Basically,”Isaid.
Shenoddedapprovingly.“And?”sheasked.
“Actually,hegavemeascreenplaytoread.Hewantsmyopinion.”
“Verygood.Soaseconddate,then?”Kaitsaid.
“Iguess,”Isaid.Icertainlyhoped—forthesakeofthestory,ofcourse.
Kaiteyedmeclosely.“Didsomethingphysicalhappen?”
I squirmed uncomfortably. I would not give details, but I knew I had to give her

something.“Wekissedalittle.”

“Luckygirl,”Alexasaid.
“Howwashe?”Bethanyasked.
“Amazing,” I replied, despite myself. I hated being interrogated like this. It was a

violation,butIremindedmyselfthatI’dsignedupforit.

“Youwouldbeamazingtoo,ifyougotasmuchactionasthisguydoes,”Kaitsaid.

“Listen,Sophie,you’reofftoagoodstart.Butsurelythere’ssomethingconcretewecan
takeawayfromyourfirsteveningwithhim?”

They all watched me closely. My mind spun, trying to think of something I could

give them to let me out of their scrutiny. “Oh,” I said, remembering. “He originally
wanted to be a writer. He sent a screenplay to one of the studios when he was an
undergrad.”Afterthewordsleavemymouth,Iinstantlyregretthem.

“Seriously?” Kait asked. “Single-minded Leo Armstrong wanted to write? How

pathetic.”

“Whichstudio?”Alexaasked.
“Hedidn’tsay,”Isaid,hopingthey’lljustdropit.
“Wehavetogetaholdofthatscript,”Kaitsaid.“Atleastfindoutwhatstudiohesent

itto.”

“Look for the script that contains aliens, explosions, guns and women with no

speakingroles,”snickeredAlexa.

“Why do all the studio execs think that’s what we all want?” Bethany said. “It’s

embarrassing.”

“Alright, that’s enough,” Kait said, shutting up the girls. “Sophie, make sure you

writeallthisdown.KeepcopiousnotesandsavethemtotheshareddrivesoIcansee
yourupdates.Gotit?”

AsIleftKait’soffice,Iheardthegirlsfallintoanotherfitoflaughter,andtheweak

partofmefeltbadfortellingThePantyDropper’ssecret.

Exceptthat’swhatI’mbeingpaidtodo.Findouthisdirtysecretsandthenexposehim

forthewoman-hatingmisogynistthatheclearlyis.

Athomethatevening,IreadthroughthescriptLeogavemeforasecondtime.I’d

readitlastnightwhenIgothomefromLeo’s,unabletosleep.NowIwentthroughit
again,makingnotesandgatheringmythoughts.

Avideocallcamethroughonmylaptop,andIsmiledwhenIsawwhoitwas.
“Delaney!”Isaid,seeingmybestfriend’sfreckledfaceonmyscreen.
“How’smyL.A.girl?”sheasked.“Haveyoubeendiscoveredyet?”
Ismiled.“Notyet.”
“Well,hurryupsoIcanmoveoutthereandbeyourpersonalassistant!”
Ilaughed.DelaneyandIhadbeenbestfriendssincesecondgrade.Shebrokedown

cryingwhenItoldherIwasmovingtoLosAngeles,andI’dbeggedhertocomewith
me.“Anddowhat?”she’dasked.“Myfamily’sbusinessishere.AndI’mprettysureno
oneinLosAngeleseatsfrozencustard—orfatofanykind,forthatmatter.”

SeeingDelaney’sfamiliarfaceaftertoomanydaysofhavingnooneclosetotalkto

mademeletoutofsighofrelief.“How’stheicecreambusiness?”Iasked.

“It’scustardandyouknowit.”ItwasajokeIalwaysmadetoher.TheDayfamily

didn’t sell ice cream—they sold frozen custard, thank you very much. Her family
owned a local shop called Day’s, and her father expected Delaney to expand the
business from Maine down to New Hampshire, and that was plenty of pressure for a
recentcollegegraduate.

“Sellmorescoopssoyoucancomevisitme,”Isaid,herfamiliarfacegrinningback

atme.“How’sbusiness?”

“Whocares?Ididn’tcalltotalkabouthoweggyolkisbasicallytheonlydifference

between custard and ice cream. You talk. Tell me something exciting,” she said.
“What’s it like out there? Is it crazy or what?” Delaney wanted stories of adventures
alongSunsetBoulevard,swimminginthePacific,andposhdinnersinBeverlyHills.I’d
beenherejustovertwoweeksandIhadn’tseenanyofthefamiliarsights.

“I hate to disappoint you,” I said, “but I haven’t done much sightseeing. Just been

working,tryingtofigurethatwholethingout.”

“Haveyoumadeanyfriends?What’syourroommatelike?”
“She’sokay.Adancer,tough,doesn’tliketobullshitorcoddle.I’vehardlyseenher

sinceImovedin.”

“Best kind of roommate,” Delaney said. “Come on, Soph. Something must be

happeningoutthere.”

She looked at me eagerly, but not in the greedy way the girls in the office had as

they waited for my report from Leo Armstrong. Delaney looked at me excitedly
becauseshewantedmetohaveanadventure.Andasshe’dsaidahundredtimessince
I told her I was leaving our small town, she planned to live vicariously through my
adventures.

ButIcouldn’ttellheraboutLeoArmstrong.IknewIcouldtrustDelaneywithmy

life,butIhesitatedintellinghermybigwritingassignment.

“Theroommateisalittleintense.Soarethegirlsintheoffice,”Isaid.“WhatIneed

ismypartnerincrimewithmetoexplorethecity.”

“Anditsseedyunderside,”shejoked.“Doesthefactthatyouhaven’tseenthesights

yetmeanyouhaven’tmetanyguysyeteither?Orareyoualreadysowrappedupin

someMalibusurferdudethatyouhaven’thadthetime?”

“That’snotitatall,”Isaid.NormallyDelaneywouldbethefirstandonlypersonI’d

callafteranightlikelastnight.Iwasinunfamiliarterritory,notbeingabletotellmy
bestfriendaboutthehottestnon-sexI’deverhad.

“Ihopeit’snotbecauseyou’restillhunguponPaul,”shesaid.“Heisaroyalprick.

I’msureit’sonlyamatteroftimebeforehecheatsonMeredith.”

Iperkedup.“PauliswithMeredith?”
Delaneycringed.“Sorry.Ithoughtyouknew.”
“HowwouldIknow?I’moutofthegossiploop.”
“And in a much better place than this, that’s for sure. Listen, Soph,” Delaney said,

turningserious.“Makethemostofyourtimeoutthere.Ihatethethoughtofyoubeing
inoneoftheworld’smostexcitingcitiesbutstayinginsideyourcrampedlittleshared
apartment because you’re too afraid to get out there on your own and meet people.
Surelyyourroommatedoessomethingotherthandance.Oh!Shecanintroduceyouto
herhotdancerguyfriends.Theyhavethebestbodies,andaretotallyuninhibited,too.”

“Iknow,”Isaid,guiltwashingoverme.“You’reright.”
“Don’t let what Paul did to you make you think all guys are like him. Because

they’renot.Therearegoodonesoutthere,too.Andwe’llfindthem—oneforeachof
us.”

AsmuchasIhatedit,mymindnaturallyclickedovertoLeoandlastnight.Asfaras

Icouldtell,mostguyswerejustlikePaul.TheonlydifferencebetweenhimandLeo—
asidefrommoney,successandGQlooks—wasthatLeomadegirlssignnondisclosure
agreementstotryandkeephisjerkywayscompletelysecret.

Myphonebuzzedonmydesk.Blockednumber.Myheartraced,thinkingitmight

beLeo.

“Delaney,that’smyphone,”Itoldher.“Itmightbework.Igottago.”
“Okay,butthinkaboutwhatIsaid.Getoutthereandhavefun.”
Ismiled.“Iwill.”
“Andrememberthedancers!”
ItoldherIlovedherthenendedthevideochat.WhenIansweredmyphone,adeep

sexyvoicegreetedme.

“Didyoureadit?”Leoaskedbywayofgreeting.
“Yes,infactIdid.Twice,”Isaid.
“Tryingtogettotheheadoftheclass,areyou?”heasked.“Well,youngstudent,I’d

liketogooveryourwork.CanItakeyoutodinnertonight?”

“Todiscussthescreenplay?”Iasked,teasingabitbutalsotoseeifhehadmorein

mind.Lastnightwouldholdmeoverforawhile,butnotforlong.Justhearinghisvoice
mademecravehimalloveragain.

“That, and whatever else might come up,” he said, and my thoughts immediately

wentsouth.

“Justtellmewhenandwhere.”
“I’llsendacar.Bereadyinthirtyminutes.”
“Youdon’tgiveagirlalotoftime,doyou?”Isaid.
“Youdon’tneedit,”hereplied.“I’msurehoweveryoulooknowisperfect.But,uh,

if you are taking requests, where something that shows off those gorgeous curves of

yours.”

C H A P T E R 8

henIslidintothebackoftheblackSUV,IexpectedtofindLeowaitingforme.
Buthewasn’tthere.

“Goodevening.I'mSteve,I’llbedrivingyouthisevening.Mr.Armstrongwillmeet

you at the restaurant.” Aside from that, Steve the driver said nothing else to me. I
watchedoutthedarkenedwindowsaswedroveon,towhereIhadnoidea.

IgotexcitedaswepulledontoSunsetBoulevard—finallysomethingtocheckoffthe

list and tell Delaney—but I should have known that Leo Armstrong would not be so
commonastodineononeofthecity’smostpopularstreets.Insteadwesoonturnedoff
ontoasmallsidestreetthatwounditswayupthehillsuntilwearrivedatalittleplace
thatlookedlikeasmallhousetuckedintothetrees.ThedriverpulledtheSUVuptothe
door,andavaletopenedthebackdoorforme,helpingmeout.

Insidethelightsweredimmedandalthoughmostofthewhitelinencoveredtables

wereoccupied,thenoiselevelwaslow.Respectable.

“I’m meeting…Leo Armstrong?” I told the hostess, feeling ridiculous. The words

soundedludicrouscomingfrommylips.ButtheAmazonianblondeinthetightblack
dress said, “You must be Ms. Adams? Mr. Armstrong hasn’t arrived yet, but I’ll show
youtoyourtable.”

Shetooktwohardcovermenus,andIfollowedherthroughthediningroom.Isatin

thehorseshoebooth,slidingtothecenter.ItuggedonthedressMelhadprovidedme
fromthefashioncloset.RebeccaletmetakehomeafewclothesandcosmeticsthatI
needforastorywewereworkingon.SinceIdidn’tknowmuchabouttherestaurant
when Leo had called, I opted for a rich blue wrap dress that showed off my cleavage
andhipsperfectly.IjusthopedLeowouldfinditacceptable.

Andifhisfaceuponseeingmewasanyindication,hedid.
“Hello, gorgeous,” he said, that bright smile spread across his tanned face. He slid

intotheboothandkissedmycheck,hishandwashingdownmyback,sendinginstant
chills.“Ihopeyouhaven’tbeenherelong.”

“Justlongenoughtogetthis,”Isaid,raisingmyglassofprosecco.I’dneveradmitit,

butIhopedapartofmethoughtitwouldbecomeourdrink.

Thewaiterstoppedbyourtable.Ipausedforhisfacetolightupwithrecognitionof

havingabig-timemovieexecathistable,butheshowednothingwhenhesaid,“CanI
getyousomethingtodrink,sir?”

“No,nothingforme.”
IturnedtolookatLeo,confused.“Canyougiveusamoment?”Thewaiternodded

andturnedawaywithoutanotherword.

“Iseverythingokay?”
“Well,notreally,”hesaid.Heturnedtobetterfaceme,hishandrestingonmyhip.

Itfeltwarmthere,comfortable,hishandcuppedperfectlyaroundit.“I’vegotabitofa
workemergencyonasetupinSeattle.Ican’tstayfordinner.I'monmywayupthere
now.”

Ifeltmyselfphysicallydeflate.Iwouldn’tadmitit,butIdidn’tthinkitwasbecause

ofthelostopportunitytoturnmoredirtuponhim.

Beingnearhimmademeanxiousinthemostthrillingway.
“ButIthinkyoushouldcomewithme,”hecontinued.
“ToSeattle?Now?”
“Sure,whynot?”
“No, I’ve got to work tomorrow,” I said. Leo turned his head, and I realized my

mistake.

“Doingwhat?Don'ttellmeyoubookedanactinggig,”heteasedwhilewatchingme

closely.

“Temp,Igotatempjob,”Isaidquickly.“IthinkI’mansweringphones.Notsure.I

havetobetherebynine,though.”Iprayedhedidn’taskmore.

“I’llhaveyoubackinplentyoftime,Ipromise.”
“GouptoSeattleandbacktonight?”Iasked.“You’rejoking.”
“It’sjustthreehours.Youflyupwithme,”hesaid,leaningcloseenoughthatItook

inhisscent,alreadybecomingfamiliartome.Heranhisfingersdownmyarm,sending
meseriouschills.“I’llstayinSeattletohandlethebusinessforadayortwo,butyou’ll
flybacktonight.”

Confused, I said, “Why would I fly up to Seattle only to turn around and fly right

back?”Evenifitwerefirstclass,asIassumed,itwasstillaplane.Itdidn’tsoundfun.It
soundedtheoppositeoffun.

Leoleanedinclosetomyear,nudgingmyhairawaywithhisnose.Softlyhesaid,

“DidImentionit’saprivatejet?”

Realization washed over me. For a moment, a flash of hurt seared my chest. This

wasnothingbutastraightupbootycall.Hewantedtohookupwithme,andthensend
merightbackhomelikeapaidescort.

Butassoonasthepainerupted,Iquelledit.Iremindedmyselfthatwewereboth

usingoneanother,andnowthatIsawLeo’sintentions,Icouldstopfeelingguiltyallof
thetime.

ThisiswhyIwasbeingpaidtowriteanexposeaboutLeoArmstrong—becausehe

wassleazyandrudeandheusedwomen.

My guilt now assuaged, I turned to him, our lips inches apart. “You know, I’ve

alwayswantedtoseetheSeattleairport,”Isaid.“It’sonmybucketlist.”

“Youwon’tbelieveyoureyes,”hesaid,smilingsoclosetomylips.Iwantedtoclose

theinchesbetweenus,butinacrowdedrestaurant…

HislipscoveredminebeforeIcouldfinishthethought.Theytouchedmegentlybut

firmly,hisfingersjustundermychin.Iforgotabouteveryoneandeverythinginthose

fewmoments,feelingthekisshegavemeandenjoyingitfully.

“Aren’tyouafraidsomeonewillseeus?”Isaid.Heleanedhisforeheadontomine,

hisfingersstilldelicatelycaressingmyjaw.

“Let them.” He moved away from me to exit the booth. I followed his lead. He

tossedtwotwentiesonthetableandsaid,“OneofthereasonsIcometoplaceslikethis
—aside from their outstanding filet mignon, is the discretion I know I can count on.
Goodnight,Sylvia,”hesaidtothehostessaswewalkedpasther.

“Goodnight,Mr.Armstrong,Ms.Adams,”shekindlyreplied.
Stevehadusattheairportsoonafter,andIfoundmyselfwalkingupthestepsofthe

EpixStudiosprivatejet—oneofthem,anyway.Thisone,Leotoldme,wasforhisuse.
“SometimesIlettheCFOuseit,”hesaid,“sincehehandlesthemoney.Butthisisthe
good one. Gulfstream G650.” He sounded so proud—or maybe arrogant. I tried to
committheplanetomemoryformynoteslater.

Once the crew had greeted us—two pilots and one flight attendant, Helen—we

buckledintoourseatsandreadiedfortakeoff.LeoandIsatfacingeachother,andmy
eyescaughtthelongcouchjustacrossthenarrowaisle.

“Don’tworry,”hesaid,leaningacrossthetablefrommeonceHelenhadservedus

whitewine.Icouldsmellrichfoodwarmingsomewhereinthecabin.“Oncewefinish
dinner, Helen retires to the front and closes her door, and knows not to disturb me
unlesscalled.Cheers,”headded,andIclinkedmyglasstohis.Ifeltatighteninginmy
throatatthethoughtofHelenknowinghisroutine,andwhentostayaway.Itseemed
tomeanthatIwasnotthefirstgirltotakearidewithhimonthejet.

I’donlyflownacoupleoftimes.OncePaulandIflewdowntoNewYorkforalong

weekend,buttheentiretripwasfilledwithhiscomplaintsofthetrafficandnoiseand
peopleandcrowds,theverythingsIlovedaboutthecity.

The plane took off and I gripped the armrests tightly, the power of the long, sleek

planefeelingsoclose,asifitwereshootingusofflikeaslingshot.Leowatchedmewith
anamusedlookonhisface.Icouldn’thelpbutsmileback.

“Yougetusedtoit,”hesaid.“Andthenyoucan’tgobacktocommercial.”
Iwonderedifthat’showhefeltaboutthewomeninhislife,butdecidedtoletitgo—

fornow.

“I’mprettysureI’mnotthefirstgirlyou’vetakenforarideonthisjet,”Isaid.
“No,you’renot,”hesaid.
“Doyoualwaystakewomenwithyouwhereveryougo?”Iasked.“Tuckingthemin

yourpocketlikeatrinket?”IsmiledwhileIsippedmywine,tryingtolooklikeIwas
teasingwhenIreallyIwantedtoknowthetruth.

Leo shrugged. He looked perfectly at ease in the high-back cream leather chair,

flyingawayatamoment’snoticeonaprivatejet.“Iliketobesurroundedbybeautiful
things.Isthatsowrong?”

“No,notatall,”Isaid.
Heswirledthewineinhisglassashewatchedme,waitingformetosaymore.Ifhe

wassowillingtoanswer,I’dbewillingtoask.

Obliging my instincts, I went further. “Is your staff—like your driver Steve and

Helenbackthere—carefullybriefedonyournewgirls?Hasanyoneeverhadaslipup
andcalledsomeonebythewrongname?”

“I like to make everyone feel comfortable,” Leo said, his expression relaxed. “My

assistantshelptomakesureallmyguestsfeelwelcomed.Nomatterwhotheyare.”

“Evenifthey’rejustsomefailedactressfromnowhereMaine?”
“Iwanttohearmoreaboutthisplaceyou’refrom”hesaid,bywayofchangingthe

subject.

Boy,hewassmooth.Ihadtoadmireit,evenasitangeredmealittle.
But still, I didn’t want him to know too many details about me. The less he knew

aboutme,andthemoreIknewabouthim,thebetter.

“Don’tchangethesubject,”Isaid.Iranmyhandsoverthesoftbutteryleatherofthe

chair.“Ijustwanttoknowhowmanyotherwomenhavesathere.”

“We’re not doing that numbers game,” Leo said, his tone hardening now. “Sophie,

don’truinthisbyaskingtoomanyquestions.”

I had to get my story somehow. I needed to know more about him. As Helen

broughtusdinner—scallopsandrisottoonrealchina—Itoldmyselftobepatient.

“Let’stalkaboutwhyyou’rereallyhere,”Leosaid,settingdownhisfork.I’dalways

heardthatairplanefoodwasterrible—ifyougotanythingmorethanpeanuts—butthe
food on that plane was the best thing I’d eaten in months. Better than anyplace Paul
evertookme,that’sforsure.

“IthoughtIwasjustheretokeepyoucompany,”Isaid,myheartjumpingasIonce

againbracedmyselfformycovertobeblown.

Hiseyesheldmineliketheyoftendid.WhenLeoArmstronglookedatme,Ididn’t

wanttolookaway.“WhatImean,”hesaid,“was,weneedtotalk.Aboutthescript.”

“Thescreenplayyougavemetoread,”Isaid,relievedyetagain.I’dletmyselfget

caught up in everything else. Talking about the screenplay sounded like much more
funthantryingtofindoutabouthisotherwomen.Igotmybagfrombehindthechair
andpulledoutthestackofpages.

“Tellmewhatyouthought,”Leosaid.
“Ithoughtitwasgood,”Isaid,flippingthroughthepages.
“Bespecific.”
IfeltlikeIwasbeingputonthespotbyoneofmycollegeprofessors.ButIwanted

toimpressLeo,soIstartedagain.“Iguessit’sjustnotmykindofmovie.”

“Why?”
“Because,” I began. “I don’t know. I’m just not into these revenge stories. Drunk

driver kills this woman, and then this crazy guy goes on a rampage of destruction to
trackdownthedriverandmakehimpayforwhathedid.Imean,didhehavetoblow
upthepolicestationintheprocess?Itseemedabitmuch.”

“Amanseekingtoavengehiswife’sdeathisabitmuch?”
“That’s not what I meant,” I said, as Helen cleared away our dinner plates and

refreshedourwine.Ileaneddownandslippedoffmyheels,lettingmytoesfeelthesoft
carpetoftheplane.“IjustthinkthatIneedtoknowmorefromthisguy.Jake,that’sthe
killer’sname,right?”

“Youmeanthemanwhoisseekingrevenge?Orthemanwhokilledhiswife?”
Icockedmyhead.“YouknowwhatImean.”
“It’sanimportantdistinction,”Leosaid.
“It’s just an action movie,” I laughed, wondering why he was pushing so hard.

“Whatdoesmatter?”

“Itmatters,”Leosaid,“becausethesecharactersarereal.Ortheyshouldfeelreal,no

matterifthey’reseekingoutaforeignenemyorsomeonefromtheirhometown.You
should feel something from the characters, understand their motivations. It matters,
Sophie,becausethisismybusiness,andifyou’retellingmethatthisisalljustcheesy
shitthatdoesn’tmatter,thenIhaveanearningsstatementthatsaysviewersallover
the world think differently. This may not be KillBill, but it should be the best movie
viewerspaytoseeonthenighttheychoosetoseeit.Understand?”

Inodded.“Yes.Iunderstand.”
“Thesearen’tcaricaturesandiftheyare,tellme—andtellmehowyou’dfixit.”He

ranhisfingersthroughhishair,takinginabreath.“Tellmewhatdoesn’tworkabout
it.”

Ididasheasked,tellinghimmythoughts,beingsospecificIfeltlikeIwasaNew

YorkTimesfilmcriticorsomething.ButLeowantedtoknoweverydetail,everystray
thoughtIhadaboutthescript.

As Helen brought out dessert—chocolate raspberry cake—Leo continued to push

me,askedmequestions.Weworkedthroughthescriptfornearlytwohours,making
marksonthepagesaboutcharacterdevelopmentandpacing.

FinallyLeotossedhispenonthetablebetweenusandsaid,“Youdidwell,Sophie.

When you push yourself, you really see the heart of things. Of this.” He tapped the
screenplay.

“Thankyouverymuch,Mr.Armstrong,”Isaid.“I’mgladIpleasedyou.”
“Well,”hesaid,“let’snotgetaheadofourselves.”Welockedeyes,andIwishedfor

thelifeofmethatthetablewasn’tbetweenus.

“Youenjoyedthework?”heasked.
“Yes,” I said. “I loved it. I mean, I didn’t do so great on this first go-around but I

learnedalot.”Itwastrue.LeohadmademelookatthecharactersI’dnormallybrush
offasone-dimensionalinadifferentway.

I had to admit, I was surprised and impressed by him, by his work ethic, and his

willingnesstoreallytakemeseriously.Somethingaboutthatfactwasmoreattractive
tomethanalmostanythingelse.

MydesireforLeohadjustgrownbyleapsandboundsinthisshorttime.
Leo nodded, watching me carefully. Helen appeared and asked if we’d like our

dessertplatescleared.“Yes,thankyou,”Leosaid.“Andthat’llbealluntilarrival.”

“Yes,Mr.Armstrong,”shesaid,andsheretreatedtothefrontofthecabin,whereI

knew she’d stay behind the closed door until we landed. The thought thrilled me so
muchIfeltmyselftwitchinanticipation.

Onceshe’dclosedthedoorbehindheranddimmedthecabinlights,Leoslowlyrose

fromhissideofthetableandIalmostmeltedwithrelief.Apartofmehadwonderedall
nightifhereallydidjustwanttotalktomeontheflighttoSeattle,butthehungerinhis
eyesashewalkedtowardmesaidhewantedsomuchmore.

He leaned on the armrests, boxing me into my seat. “Now,” he said, watching my

lipsasItriedtocontrolmybreathing.“Arewedonewiththebusinessportionofthe
evening?”

BeforeIcouldanswerhislipswereonmine,softandfullofwant,andIknewhe’d

beenwaitingforthisallnight,too.Hiskisswasneedy,histonguegoingdeep,seeking
moreofme,andIgavehimeverythingbackIcould.Hismouthabsolutelydevoured
me,andbecausehestoodabovemewhileIstillsatinthechair,hewasattheperfect
heightformyhandstostartwandering.

InalmostnotimeIhadhisshirtun-tuckedandmyhandrunningoverthesteelof

hisabs,whichclenchedundermytouch.Ilookedupathim,hislipsfullandpartedas
hewatchedmeslowlyunbuttonhisshirt,hishandscaressingmyfaceandneckasifhe
couldn’tbaretostoptouchingme.Itonlypropelledmetokeepgoing,further,pushing
hisshirtopenlikecurtainsonceitwasfreefromtherestraintofthebuttons.Ilookedat
hischestandstomach,myhandstracingoverhisbeautylikeitwasapieceoffineart.
Thehardmuscles,thedeepbreathingIknewhewastryingtocontrol,hisstrongchest
risingandfalling,allhadmesoweakthatifIweren’talreadysitting,I’dbedownonthe
ground.

Itouchedmylipstohisskin,justabovehisbelt,slippingmytongueoutdelicatelyto

tastehim.Leo’shandsrakedthroughmyhair,hisbreathingurgingmeon—notthatI
neededit.Iwasonautopilot,doingonlyasmybodywanted,anditwantedmoreofthis
perfectlyformedmaninfrontofme,kissingandtastingandtouchingasmuchofhis
fleshasIcould.

Thisfeltsorightandsowrongallatonce.
Iwasonlyherebecauseofliesanddeceitandmymotivewaspurelybusiness.Yet,

my lust for this man couldn’t be denied. And knowing that the last thing I should be
doingwashavingsexualrelationswithLeoArmstrongrightnow,onlymademewant
himthatmuchmore.

I was sure I could never please him, not in the way in which he was accustomed.

He’dhadgorgeous,experiencedwomen,andIwaspracticallyaborn-againvirgin.I’d
onlyeverbeenwithPaul,andwedidn’tevenhavesexthelastfourmonthswewere
together. So as my hand traced the thick outline of Leo’s penis through his pants,
pressingagainstthefinematerialasifitwantedoutasmuchasIwantedtofeelitinmy
handandmouth,apartofmehesitated,afraidI’donlymakeafoolofmyself,thatI’d
somehowdoitwrong.Theotherpartofme—thepurelysexualpartofmethathadmy
pantiessoakedonceagain—decidedIneededhim.ThatpartofmethoughtImightdie
fromwantifIdidn'thavehiminmymouth.

Islidopenthesmoothleatherofhisbelt,watchinghimasheswallowedhard,the

lump of his Adam’s apple bobbing up, then down. His mouth fell open again, and he
ranhisthumbovermybottomlip,whichIbitgently,teaseditwithmytongue.Hekept
hiseyesonmelikenothingelsemattered,andIwassurenothingdid.Islowlypulled
thezipperdown,waitingforthepresentheheldsotightlyinthosesoft,elegantpants.I
ranmyhandoverthenextthinlayeroffabricofhisboxerbriefs,hisbreathbecoming
deeperandmoreragged.Leoslippedhishandtothebaseofmyneckandgavemethe
slightest,almostimperceptiblenudgetoward.Ilookedupathimandsmiled,reveling
inthepowerIwasseeingIheldoverhiminthemoment.

Tracing the thick outline of his long cock, I smiled and said, “You’re not getting

impatient,areyou?”

In answer to my question, he took the smallest step closer to me, putting what I

wanted even closer to my mouth. I moved both my hands just under the remaining

fabric that stood between us, and lowered it past his knees. My breath caught. His
massive dick stood at attention before me, more intimidating than Leo Armstrong
himself.Itookitinmyhand,myfingersnotquitemeetingontheothersideitwasso
thick,andIwonderedhowI’devermanage,evenasmuchasIwantedtotakeevery
lastinchofhiminmymouth.

IflickedmyeyesupathimasIpressedmytongueflatagainstatthebaseofhim,

slowlydraggingitupthefulllength.

“Jesus,”hegasped.
Itracedovertheslitatthetopandtwirledmytonguearoundtheentirehead.Then

Istartedagain,lickingupthefrontandswirlingaroundtotheridgeontheunderside,
teasing him, making him wish he were fully in my mouth. I used my tongue as a
lubricanttogentlypullhisfleshupanddownwithmyhanduntilfinallyIdippedmy
head,stretchingmyjawaswideasitwouldgo,andtookLeoinmymouth.Heletouta
deepmoan.

SlowlyIloweredmyhead,takinghimininchbyinchashisfingersdugintothehair

atthebaseofmy neck.KnowingIhad himsohotmademe wanttogivehim more.
Withonehandonhisdick,followingthemotionofmymouthupanddownhisnow
slickcock,Iusedmyotherhandtogentlycuphisballs,movingthemgentlytowardhis
body.Theytightenedundermydelicatetouch,andIloosenedmygrip.

Mymainworkwasdonewithmymouth,though,andIsavoredeverytaste,keeping

mylipsandtonguefirmagainsthim,releasingonlytolickhimatthetop,thedelicious
treatthathewas,moresatisfyingthanthatchocolateraspberrycakecouldeverhope
tobe.Eachtimemyheaddippeddown,Itookmoreofhiminmymouth,marvelingat
howloosemythroathadbecome,thatitcouldtakemuchmorethanIeverimagined.

“God, Sophie,” Leo moaned, his fingers fully tangled in my hair as he took over,

guiding my head at the pace he wanted, a little faster, my mouth stretched wide as I
moaned at the feel of him on my touch. I paused and took my mouth off his dick,
giving it quick kisses up the side before taking it back, as deep as I could, Leo’s hand
gentlypushingtohavemoreofhim.HisbreathcameingaspsasIquickenedmypace,
myhandstillholdinghim.

“Don’t stop,” he gasped, and I wouldn’t have even if the plane were going down.

“I’m going to come,” he said, and knowing my mouth could do this to him made me
moan with him and soon he exploded, down my throat and I took him, all of him,
holdinghimthereasmorecamefromhim,hisgruntshardlycontained.Hishandfell
frommyheadtomyshoulder,andfinallyhebracedhimselfonthearmofmychair,
pantingforair.Islippedhimoutofmymouth.

Once he’ll pulled himself together—and pulled up his pants—he sat on the bench

acrosstheaisle.Herubbedhishandsoverhisfaceandthroughhishair.“Damn,girl.
I’mgoingtoneedaminute.IthinkIwentofftoanotheruniverseforawhilethere.”

“Flatterer,” I said, but secretly I was pleased. I’d never made a man—the one I’d

beenwith—saymynamelikethatandwasamazedIhaddoneit,andtothismanofall
men.Imovedoverandsatnexttohim.

“I’mnotkidding,”hesaid.“How’dyougetsogoodatthat?”
“I’ll never tell,” I said, leaning over to nip at his neck. That part, at least, was the

truth.LikeI’dadmittolearninghowtogiveablowjobfromamagazine?Andnoteven

Crush.Thehorror!

HeletoutasatisfiedsighasIkissedhisneck.“Comecloser,”hesaid.Heputanarm

aroundmybackandhookedtheotherundermylegs.Inonesmoothmotion,hehad
mesittingonhislap.

“Rightwhereyouwantme,”Isaid.
“Whydon’tyoucometothesetwithme?”hesaid,hisfingerstracinglazilyonmy

bare thigh. “I’ll just keep you like this during meetings. ‘Uh, Mr. Armstrong, are you
awarethatthere’sahumanwomanattachedtoyourlap?’We’lljustfeignignorance.”

Ilaughedandwentbacktohisneck,givinghimgentlelittlelicksandbitesasIwent.

“Youtastesogood,”Imumbled,asIcontinuedkissing.

“Ifyoukeepthatup,Ireallywillbeforcedtotakeyouwithme.”
“Please take me,” I sighed into his ear, my hand running across the chest I hadn’t

spentenoughtimeexploring.Therewassomuchmoreofhimtotouchandtasteand
feel.IfhereroutedtheplanetoAustraliaIwouldn’thavemindedatall.Itstillwouldn’t
beenoughtime.

“Soon,sweetSophie,”hewhisperedback.“Soon.”
“Mr.Armstrong,”camethecaptain’svoiceovertheintercom.“Beadvisedthatwe

willbelandingintwentyminutes.Pleasemakesureyourseatbeltsaresecured.”

“Don’tlistentohim,”Isaid,myarmwrappedaroundhisneck.Ibrushedthebrown

strandsofhairfromhisforehead,thenkissedhimthere.

Helaughed.“EvenIhavetolistentothecaptain.Sophie,”hesaid,pullingbackand

lookingatmeclosely,andIfeltit—heneededtotellmesomething,confesshisfeelings
orbegmetowaitforhiminSeattle.Ithadtobesomething,thewayhelookedatme
like I held all the answers to the questions he’d asked his whole life. His eyes flicked
away for a brief second, and then he said, “This bench pulls out into a bed. You can
sleeponthewaybacktoL.A.”

It was as if we’d hit a sudden patch of turbulence, the way my stomach suddenly

plummeted. I’d believed for a moment that he was going to say something deep and
personal to me—especially after the deep, personal thing I’d just done to him. But
somethingaboutthesuddenbusinessofitallhadmerattled.

“Great,” I said, standing up and tugging my skirt down as I did. “Lucky me.” I sat

backinmyownseatandbuckledmyseatbelt.

Leosatacrossfromme.“Ididn’tmean—areyouokay?”
“I’mfine.”
“Sophie,”hesaid.“Lookatme.”
IwasafraidthatifIdidI’dburstintotears,andthatwasnothowIwantedwhathad

beenanotherwiseincrediblenightintheskytoend.Idid,though,Ilookedathim,the
blue of his eyes so bright now, looking at me in that way he had that I couldn’t fully
describe.Itmademefeelexposed,andthatwasthelastwayIwantedtofeelaround
him.“Thankyouforcomingwithme,”hesaid.“Honestly,ItravelalotandIhateflying
alone.It’sdepressing.”

“GladIcouldhangout,then,”Isaid,lookingawayagain,despitethesincerityIcould

hearinhisvoice.

“Don’t be like that. There’s no one else I wanted to be with tonight than you,” he

said.“AndIwanttoseeyouagain.Iwanttoseemoreofyou.”

Myeyesturnedbacktohim.Hedefinitelyseemedsincere,butIknewthatthiswas

simplyaploy—thiskindofpacifyingspeechwashisstock-in-trade.Leowasdamngood
atmakingmefeelwanted,butIhadtorememberthathe’dalsobeenjustasgoodatit
withdozensanddozensofwomenpreviously.

Donoteverforgetwhoandwhatheis,Itoldmyself.
Beforehesteppedofftheplanehetookmeinhisarms,pressedmetighttohim,and

kissedmedeeplyandwithsuchtenderness.Isankagainsthim,wishingthatkisswould
never end. But it did. Soon I was watching from the window as he slipped into an
awaitingblacktowncaronthetarmac,andHelenhadloweredthatbenchintoabed
forme,completewithpillowsandblanket.

“CanIgetyouanythingbeforetakeoff?”sheasked.
Iwatchedoutthesmallwindowasthecardroveaway,takingLeowithit.Irealized

hehadn’tsaidhowlonghe’dbegone.

“No,thankyou,”Isaid.Ifeltstrangelysadandforlorn,andIhatedknowingthatmy

bodyandemotionsweresteadilybetrayingmyrationalbrain.

As we hit cruising altitude and I had snuggled down into the cozy little bed, I fell

asleepquickly,wonderinghowsoonIcouldseehimagain.

C H A P T E R 9

henIwalkedbackintomyapartmentatthreeo’clockthatmorning,IheardAva
Marie moaning and her bed bucking behind her slightly ajar bedroom door.

Great,Ithought.JustwhatIneedtohearafterrockingoffLeobutnotfullyfinishing
myself.

Didoralcountasbeingpartofthemile-highclub?Iwonderedstupidly.
HadIbeenused?Thefirstnightathisapartmenthad,frankly,beenallaboutme.If

that’showLeoArmstrongusedwomen,thenIsaylethim.ButtonightI’dreturnedthe
favor, so to speak. And even though I’d enjoyed every delicious second of it, was he
laughingatmerightnow,tellingtheguyshowsomedumbgirlgavehimablowjobon
the company jet? “Again, Armstrong?” they’d probably tease, and he’d laugh self-
deprecatingly,allthewhileknowinghislegendwasincreasingbythesecond.

But then again—I couldn’t help thinking about the amazing talk we’d had. It was

fascinatinghearingaboutscriptsandcharactersfromhisperspective,tolearnwhathe
wanted from them. That maybe there was more to his movies than just guns and
explosions.

Then I recalled how seriously he’d taken my opinions—more seriously even than

KaitandthewomenatCrush.

Igotaglassofwaterfromthekitchen,waitingforAvaMarietofinish…whoevershe

wasdoing.

ThedoortoAvaMarie’sbedroomopenedandamaninboxerswalkedintothedark

hallway,towardthekitchen.

“Hello?”Isaidtolethimknowsomeoneelsewasthere.
“Holyshit,”hesaid,steppingback.
“Whatisit?”AvaMariecalledfromherbedroom.
“It’sSophie,”Icalled.“I’mhome.”
AvaMariecameoutwithashortrobelooselytiedaroundherslimwaist.“Oh,hey.I

thoughtyouwereout.”

“Justgothome,”Isaid,holdingupmywaterglass.
“This is Christian,” she said, motioning to the perfectly proportioned creature now

searchingforawaterglass.“Christian,that’smyroommateSophie.”

“Iguessifyou’rejustnowgettinghomethatmeansyouhadagoodnight,”Christian

said, without an ounce of self-consciousness at walking around in our kitchen half

naked.

“That’strue,”AvaMariesaid,asmileplayingonherlips.“Didthenewgirlintown

findherselfanative?”

Ididn’tfeelliketalkingaboutit.Thenight—theflight—hadbeenincrediblebutalso

confusingtoputinmildly,andIhadsomementalsortingtodo.“Ihadaworkthing,”I
said,notatotallie.

“Listen,Ifeelkindofbadabouttheotherday,whenItoldyoutolike,getoveryour

auditionrejection.Ishouldn'thavebeensoharsh.”

“No,it’sfine,”Isaid.“Youwereright.”
“Youadancer,too?”Christianasked.
I wanted to know what planet he thought a woman with my curves would be a

professionaldancer.That’swhenIrealized—hewasadancer,too.Icouldseeitinthe
wayhemoved—andinhisleanmusclestotallyondisplay.

“Sophie’sstilltryingtofindherselfwhileworkingatamagazine.Right,Soph?”
“Somethinglikethat,”Isaid.
“Sowhowereyououtwithtonight?”AvaMarieasked,eyeingmemischievously.
“Noone,”Isaid,myinstincttoliegrowingstrongerandeasiereachtime.“Imean,it

wasthatguyImetattheaudition.Nobodyspecial,”Iadded,rubbingmyneck.

“Oh,yeah,theactorwhowantedtorunlineswithyou,”AvaMariesaid.“Hey,that

remindsme.Someofusaregoingtothedrive-insometimenextweekifyouwantto
joinus.Bringyournewactorboy.”

“Adrive-in?”Iasked.“Like,anactualdrive-in?”
“Yeah, in Silver Lake. It’s super retro, really cool,” Ava Marie said. “I’m surprised

morepeopledon’tknowaboutitbutsinceyou’renewtotownandall….Comewithus.
Ifyouractorboyisn’tworkingout,Icansetyouupwithsomeone.”

“Aslongasyoudon’tminddancers,”Christiansaid.“That’sbasicallyallwehangout

with.Whoareyouthinkingof?”hesaidtoAvaMarie.“Reed?”

“No,Michael,”shesaid.“ReedischasingafterMonica.Whatdoyousay?”sheasked

me.

It wasn’t a bad idea. It would get me out to see the city and meeting new people.

More importantly, it would get my mind off Leo. But I wasn’t sure that was what I
wantedrightthen.ItoldherI’dthinkaboutit.

ItwasstrangefeelinglikeIwantedtoremainfaithfulandexclusivetoamanthat

wasusingmeforsex,whomIwasusingtofurthermycareer.Beyondstrange,itwas
actuallykindofmortifying.

I went back to my room and typed up some notes about the evening with Leo to

send to Kait—basically leaving the best part out—and when my head hit the pillow, I
wasout.

SinceonlyahandfulofpeopleatCrushknewwhatIwasworkingon—namelythe

girlsintheCityLivingdepartment,andKait—therestofthecrewwantedtoknowwhat
the new girl was working on. From their perspective, I wasn’t doing anything but
comingintotheofficelateandbleary-eyedmostdays.

My first all-staff meeting, which was a week after Seattle, consisted of the head of

eachdepartmentpitchingideasfortheupcomingissue.Wesatinthesameconference
roomwithaviewoftheHollywoodsignthatI’dsatinonmyfirstday.

Now it was time for everyone from all the magazine’s departments to pitch their

ideasfortheupcomingissue—theonethatwouldhavemyLeopieceinit.Melwanted
to showcase leather for spring and Rebecca swore hair mousse was making a
comeback. Jenny wanted to do a piece on open relationships, Susan wanted to write
abouttoysthatenhanceoralandLizhadastoryreadytogoaboutthenewestfitness
craze.

I’dbeensocaughtupinmyLeosexcapadesthatI’dlongsinceforgottenaboutthe

listofideasIhadonmyfirstdayformyNewGirlcolumn.Onceeveryonehadpitched,
Pam,themanagingeditor,fixedhereyesonmeandsaid,“Howlongbeforeyoujump
in?”

MyheadsnappedupandIgotthatpanickedfeelingofbeingcaughtinclasswithout

havingreadtheassignment.“Ihave…um,ideas,”Isaid.

“Solet’shearthem.”
IlookedtoKaitforhelp,sinceshehadn’ttoldmetoworkonanythingotherthan

myLeostory.

“Sophie?” Kait said, scribbling in her notebook. “The newbie go-getter. What have

yougotforus?”

I flipped nervously through my notebook, trying to find those ideas I’d written

downformyfirstday—theonesKaithadnointerestinhearing.

“Itshouldn’tbethathard,”Pamsaid.“Youareactuallynewintown.Whathaveyou

beendoing?Someotherprojectgotyoutoobusyforthejobyouwerehiredtodo?”

“No,” I said quickly, instinctively. Did she know about Leo? Kait said only our

departmentknewaboutLeo.Waswordspreading?Whoelseknew?

“So?”Pampressed.
“Well,”Ibegan,mymindracingtofindsomethingtograbholdof.“Iheardabout

thisamazingdrive-inmovietheaternearSilverLake.”

“Adrive-in?”Kaitasked,curious.
“Howvery’50s,”Pamsnickered.
“It’ssupposedtobereallycool,”Isaid.I’dlookedituponlineafterAvaMarietold

meaboutit.“Theyplayclassics,somefromthe’50s,”IsaidtoPam,“andotheroldstuff
from the ’80s and ’90s. Everything from Raging Bull to Love, Actually. The food’s
supposedtobegood,too.”

“I’ve read about this place. Sounds like a fun date spot,” Renee said, and I was so

thankfulforherspeakingupforme.

LookingtoKait,Pamsaid,“Sohaveherdoadatepieceonit.Youcancomeupwith

aninterestingdate,can’tyou?”sheaskedme.

IlookedbetweenPamandKait.Pamwaspushingsomething,itwasclear.HadKait

toldheraboutLeo?FinallyIjustsaidyes,Icouldfindadate(thanksverymuch)and
themeetingwrapped.

AsIgotmynotebookandpenstogether,Pamcameclosetome.
“Don’tthinkyoucanslackjustbecauseyougotsomespecialassignment,”shesaid

softly,buthertonewaslikeiron.“We’veallbeenherealotlongerthanyou.Wedon’t
needsomerecentgradcominginactinglikeshe’ssomehotshotreporter.Writeyour
littledrive-inpiece,andrememberyourplace.”Shestartedtoleave,herhandonthe
conferenceroomdoor.“Bytheway,I’meditingit,soitbetterbegood.”

Before I could say a word, she was out the door, leaving me shaken. What had I

donetoupsether?WhatdidsheknowaboutmyLeoassignment?

SincethemomentAvaMarietoldmeaboutthedrive-in,Icouldn’thelpbutpicture

being there with Leo, a totally irrational thought. Pam may have been on the attack,
butshewasright—IhadtoseeLeoasnothingmorethanasubject,andasasubject,I
shouldn’tusehimtohangoutwithforfun.

Iploppeddownonthechairinmycubicle.Besides,It’dbeenaweeksincetheflight

withLeoandIhadn’t heardfromhim.Even ifIhadthenerve tocallhimI couldn’t,
sincethenumberhecalledmefromwasblocked.Iguessdespitethecontract,hehad
meonprobation—oraleash,asKaitsaidwhenItoldheraboutthetimegapsinceI’d
heardfromhim.

Everymorningshestoppedbymydesk,herdouble-shotskinnylatteclutchedinher

hand,andaskedonequestion:“Heardfromhim?”WhenIshookmyheadno,shekept
ontoherofficewithoutanotherword,butIfeltthedisappointmentcomingoffher,like
itwasmyfaulthewasoutoftownorunavailable.

Today, though, she stopped at my cubicle on her way back to her office after the

meeting.Shedrapedherarmoverthewallandsaid,“Listen,Sophie.Youneedtostepit
uponourstory,”shesaid,andIhadnodoubtaboutwhat“our”storymeant.“Workon
the drive-in piece for New Girl, but as for the other…” She lowered her voice. “This
whole business of not having his number is ridiculous. It’s a great anecdote for the
story—itclearlyshowsthelevelofcontrolhehasinhisrelationships—butit’sadisaster
whenitcomestoyougettingclosertohimforthesakeofthestory.Thenexttimeyou
seehim,gethisnumber.Thatwayyoucantexthim,maybeinvitehimouttodinner.
Gotit?”

“Butwhatifhe’salready…youknow,movedon?”Iasked,anxietybloominginside

mybelly.

“You didn’t fuck him yet, did you?” she shot back, her eyes narrowing with

suspicion.

“Godno,”Isaid,butIwonderediforalsexcounted.
“Good,becauseifyouscrewhimrightaway,you’llkillthewholedeal.Youhaveto

makehimwaitsoyoucangetmoredirt.”

“I’mnothavingsexwithhim,”Isaidforcefully.
Shenoddedandmadeafaceofdisbelief.“Sure,”shesaid.“Ofcoursenot.Afterall,

whymightyouwanttohavesexwiththehotteststudontheplanetwhenyoucould
probablybeouteatingfastfoodwithsomeguyfromthemailroom?”

Icouldn’tforcetheguytogivemehisnumber,evenifIdidagreewithKaitthatit

wasaclearsymptomofthewayhetreatedwomen.Withholding.Controlling.Using.

MyheadthrobbedwithconfusionandbuddingangerandresentmenttowardsLeo

andeveryoneelse.

Istartedresearchingthedrive-ininSilverLakebutsoonIwassearchingimagesfor

LeoArmstrong.Hewasn’toftenphotographedbythepaparazzisomostofthepictures
were of him on a red carpet for a movie premier in one of his many custom-made
tuxedos.Closed-lipsmile,handsinpockets,aglintinhiseyeslikeheknewsomething
allthosephotographersdidn’tknow.

I made the mistake of adding the word “women” to the end of his name in the

search.OutpoppedhundredsofimagesLeoArmstrongwithdifferentgirls—mostlyin
tinybikinis—onbeachesandboatsallovertheworld.Hewaslikeasailorwhohada
woman in every port. I hardly saw two pictures of the same woman. He was always
withsomeonedifferent.Wewerealljustplaythingstohim.

I stared at Leo’s bright smile, the one that made his eyes shine a light, bright blue

andcrinklethecornersofhiseyes.

Myphonebuzzedwithatext.InthesplitsecondbeforeIsawthescreen,Iheldhope

thatitwasLeo—andhatedmyselfforit.ButitwasAvaMarie.

Atauditionsallday.Meetusfordrinkstonight?7:30@ThirstyCow.Michaelwillbe

there!

IlookedbackatthephotosofLeoandwonderedwhathewasdoingtonight.Itwas

none of my business. He was strictlybusiness. I had to remember that. And the fact
thathewasprobablyoutgallivantingwithanotherwomanafterwhathedidtomeon
thatplanewasalsononeofmybusiness.

Willseeyouthere,Itexted.
I’dhavetimetogohomeandchange,refreshandputonsomethingoutstandingfor

thisMichaelfellow.ItwastimeIstartedhavingfuninL.A.withoutrelyingonLeo.

C H A P T E R 1 0

inimalmakeup and red lipstick felt in order for the evening, and a black dress
thatwasshorterthanInormallywore.ItoldmyselfIwasexcitedtomeetAva

Marie’sdancerfriend,Michael,andseeiftherewasanysparkthere.

AtextcamethroughfromAvaMarie.We’rehere.Whereareyou?Michaelisasking!
Justtextedforacar,Iwroteback.Betherein15.TellhimI’mcoming!
You will be, Ava Marie wrote back, and I laughed. I felt better about my decision

already.

Iwasslippingonmyheelswhenthedoorbellrang.Iwonderedwhythecabdriver

wouldcometothedoor,orhowheknewmyapartmentnumber.

“DeliveryforMs.Adams?”saidthemanwhenIopenedthedoor.
“That’sme,”Isaid.
He handed me a thick envelope, and left. Inside was a screenplay. U

NTITLED

RMSTRONG

,saidthecoverpage.Anoteonthickcardstockwasattached.

Discussbytheoceantonight?—L
Myphonerang,makingmejump.Ididn’trecognizethenumber,butitwaslocal.
“Goodevening,Ms.Adams.ThisisSteve,Mr.Armstrong’sdriver.”
“Oh,hey,Steve,”Isaid.
“Mr.Armstrongwouldliketoknowifyoureceivedthepackagehesentover,andif

you’reavailabletospendtimewithhimthisevening?”

“Yeah,Igotit,”Isaid.Iquicklysetthestackofpapersdownonthetablebythedoor

andflippedthroughthepages,curious.

“Mr.Armstrongwouldliketoworkwithyoutonight,ifyou’reavailable.”
“Well,I…”
“Andyou’reundernoobligation.”
“Iknow,it’sjust…”
“If you’d like to join him, I can drive you now,” Steve said. “I’m just around the

cornerfromyou.”

Myphonebuzzedanewtext.“Hangon,Steve,”Isaid,andcheckedthetext.Itwas

AvaMarie:Hurryup!

Ilookedbackatthescriptonthetable,andathoughtcametome—hadIcometo

LosAngelestosocialize,ortostartmycareer?

“Steve?”Isaid.“Comegetme.”

Afterwards,IsendAvaMarieanapologytext,statingthatI’dbeencalledintowork

foranemergencyeditonanimportantarticle.

Sheneverresponded,soIassumedshewasangry,butIcouldn’tletthatdistractme

frommymission.

Soon after, I was in the car, headed for my rendezvous with the infamous Panty

Dropperyetagain.Thatnameheldmoremeaningformenowthanithadoriginally,
thatmuchwasforsure…

WedroveupPacificCoastHighway,thesunstillshiningoverthehorizon.Iwatched

aswepassedbythebeaches,surferscarryingtheirboardsbackinfromtheocean.We
arrivedatasushirestaurant,andStevehelpedmeoutofthebackoftheSUV.

AsIwalkedacrosstherestaurantIhadflashbacksofthelasttimeLeoinvitedmeto

dinner and we ended up dining at thirty-nine-thousand feet. I hoped he would show,
and we would actually sit and have dinner. I wanted the after-dinner stuff, too. But I
wonderedwhathewantedwithmeandthescreenplay.Also,Ineededtohustleonthe
storyforKait.

Ineededmoreinfo,thepressurewasmountingformetoreallydeliver.
My eyes scanned the room for Leo. When I found him at a small table by the

window,tuckedintheshadows,myheartskippedabeat.It’snotthatI’dforgottenhow
helookedorhowhandsomehewas.IsupposeI’djustforgottenhowgorgeoushewas
inperson.Hecaughtmyeyesatthesametime,andIfroze.IthoughtImightcollapse
tothefloorasasmilestretchedacrosshisfaceandcrinkledthecornersofhiseyes.

JustthewayhelookedatalltheothergirlsinthosephotosI’dseenonline,Itriedto

tellmyself.Butthistime,Irealized,hewaslookingatme.

Hestoodupfromthetableandgreetedmewithakissonmycheek,hishandonthe

smallofmyback.Theclosenessofhim,hishandonmybody,hisbreathonmycheek
—itwasallmorethrillingthanIwantedtoadmit.

You’refallingforhim!Icriedinwardly.
Buthewaslikeavampire,evenifyouknewwhattoexpect—lookingtoolonginto

hiseyeswouldguaranteeyourseduction.

“Youshouldwalkacrossroomsmoreoften,”Leosaid,keepingmeclose.“Youlook

absolutelystunning.”Ifelttheheatofmyskinblushing,andImovedtocovermyface.
Hegentlytookmyhand.“Remember,”hesaid,kissingit,“nohiding.”Hepulledoutthe
chairforme.

“Wow,”Isaid,sittingdown.I’dwalkedacrosstherestauranttowardLeo,andhe’d

beenallI’dseen.Now,though,sittingatthetable,Isawthattherestaurantwasactually
perchedonthebeach,waveshittingalargerockbarrierjustbelowus.Thesundipped
inthesky,ablazingorange.“Thisisincredible.”WhenIlookedathim,hestillhadthat
easy,pleasedlookedonhisface,watchingme.Ipointedtothewindow.“Lookatthat!
It’samazing!”

Leolaughed.“Iseetheviewandyes,itisamazing.”
Ismiledandrolledmyeyes.“It’snewtome.”
“Toocheesy?”heasked.
“A little,” I said, but I had to admit I was buying into it despite myself. “Are you

tryingtoimpressme,ordoyoualwayseatatsuchfancyrestaurants?”

Hereplacedhisnapkininhislap.“Idonotalwayseatinfancyrestaurantsandyes,

I’mdefinitelytryingtoimpressyou.”

“Well,”Isighed,“it’sworking.”
“Thisisn’tsofancy,”hesaid,lookingaroundthedimly-lit,romanticrestaurant.
“Leo.Thisplacehasasommelierandadresscode,”Isaid.“Fancy.”
“Maybe,” he said. The glow of the sun shone on the side of his face, and when he

turnedbacktolookatme,theblueofhiseyeswaselectric,piercing.“IguessI’vegotten
myselfspoiled.”

“Inmorewaysthanone,”Isaid.“Youevenhaveadriver.Areyounotabletodrive

ordoyounotwanttodrive?”

“Iamcapableofdriving,thankyouverymuch,”hesaid.“OnedayI’lltakeyouon

drivesomewhere.UpthecoasttoSantaBarbaraorsomething.ButhavingStevetake
me—andsometimesmyguests—justmakesthingseasierwithmyschedule.Icanwork
in the car, take calls, go over scripts, that sort of thing. In case you haven’t noticed,
traffic in L.A. is a nightmare, so I can keep working while we’re at a standstill on the
405.”

MymindwasstillongoinguptoSantaBarbara,Leointhedriverseat—probablyof

somepanty-droppingsportscar.Still,Isawmyselfinthepassengerseat,hairblowing
inthewind,hishandonmybarethigh.ButIhadtokeepfocusand,honestly,Iwanted
toknowmoreabouthim.“Didyougrowuprichorsomething?”

“Blunt, aren’t we?” he said. Leo sucked in a breath and said, “I grew up rich in

advice.”

“Whatdoesthatmean?”
“IhadlotsandlotsofpeopletellingmewhatIshoulddo,”hesaid.
“Didyoulistentoanyofthem?”
“Notaone.”
LeohadorderedthewinebeforeIarrived—fromthesommelier,ofcourse—andshe

appeared at our table to present the bottle and pour us each a glass. Soon after, the
waiterarrivedandLeoaskedifhecouldorderforthetwoofus.

“Orderingisoneofmymanytalents,”hejoked.
Hebeganrattlingoffspecialtyrolls,tempura,sizzlingmeatsandallkindsofdishes

I’dneverheardof,anditsoundedlikeenoughfoodforapartyoffive.

WhenIlookedathimorderingforus,Ifeltasenseofease,whichwasthelastthing

IshouldfeelsittingacrossfromthemostpowerfulmaninLosAngeleswithascripthe
gavemetoevaluatestillrestinginmylap.ButIdid.OrmaybeIwasstillfeelingshell
shockedfromhismerepresence.

Orderingdone,thewaitertookhisleave.
“Youbroughtthescriptwithyou?”Leofinallyasked,turningtowardsmenow.
“Idid.”
“Didyouhaveachancetoreadit?”
StraightawayIwonderedifthiswasadateorabusinessmeeting.Still,Ilaughedat

hisquestion.“Leo,Ijustgotthislessthananhourago.ButIdidskimitandseethatit’s
setinKorea.”

“I’mhopingyou’llhelpmewithit.That’saveryroughdraft,butyouhaveasharp

eyeandIthinkyoucouldreallybringsomelifetoit.”

“YouthinkIcouldaddsomethingtoawarmovie?”Isaid,abitconfused.Leohad

already taught me that, even in the loudest of movies, there could be realistic,
compassionate,three-dimensionalcharacters.Butawarmoviesetinthe1950s?

“It’snotawarmovie,”hesaid,asmileflickeringonhisface.“Iguessyoudidn’tget

toreadmuchofitonthedrive?”

“There was a pretty spectacular view on the ride that held my attention,” I said.

“Kindofliketheonehere.Youbringallyourscriptdateshere?”

“No,comeon,”hesaid,rearrangingtheplatesandchopsticksbeforehim.
“I’mteasing,”Isaid,restingmyforearmsonthetable.
“You’re very good at it. Listen, Sophie,” he said. He reached across the small table

andbrushedhisfingersovermyhand.Ifeltmyselfstaringdownattheslowmotionof
hisfingersonmyskin,hypnotized.“Ienjoyspendingtimewithyou.You’resmartand
drop-deadbeautiful.Ifyouenjoyspendingtimewithme,thenlet’snotreadmoreinto
it.Okay?”

Thatpulledmeoutofmytrance.“Yeah,sure,”Isaid,flustered,thefamiliarpangof

rejectionhittingmyinsides.“Iwasn’treading—intoit,Imean.”

“Andyoualsoweren’treadingthatscript,Isee,”hesaid,thatgrincomingouttoplay

on those lips again. I thought he’d sit back, move his hands away from mine after
makinghisnot-so-subtlepoint.Instead,hecoveredhishandovermineandheldfirm,
stroking his thumb slowly across my skin. I was expected to sit through dinner with
himandactasifthisonesmallgesturedidn’tmakemesquirminmyseat,alreadyhot
withdesireforhim?I’dnevermakeitpasttheedamame.

He watched me closely, and I shifted in my seat, crossing my legs. I moved my

thumb so squeeze his hand back. “If you gave me a little more time to do my
homework,professor…”

He laughed, and the fact that I made Leo Armstrong laugh out loud gave me

immensepleasure,eventhoughitmadehimmovehishandawayfrommine.

“Iwanttoworkwithyouonthis,”Isaid,takingthestackofpapers.“Whateveritis.

Butthere’sonethingIwantfromyoufirst,”Isaid,recallinghowlostI’dbeenwhenhe
disappearedforsolongupuntiltonight.

“Aroleinthemovie?”
“Veryfunny,”Isaid.“AllIwantisyourphonenumber.That’snottoomuchfora

girl to ask, is it?” I kept my eyes on him, gauging his reaction. He kept such a steady
watchIcouldn’ttellwhathewasthinking.

“Whywouldn’tIgiveyoumynumber?”hesaid.
“Becausethat’syourM.O.?”Isaid.“Andbecauseupuntilnowyouhaven’tgivenme

yournumber?”

Becausethat’showyoukeepcontroloverthewomenyoudate,Iwantedtoadd,but

didn’t.

Leolookedconfused.“I’vecalledyoubefore,”hesaid.“Whydidn’tyoujustcopymy

numberfromthat?”

“Becauseit’sblocked,”Isaid.
“Itis?”Hethoughtforamoment.“Myassistantsetupmyphone.Idon’tknowwhat

itsaysontheotherendwhenIcall.Buthere—givemeyourphone.I’llputitinnow.”

Andlikethat,thisthingIthoughtIhadhimonwasresolved.
He handed back my phone and said, “Now that that’s done, do you want to talk

aboutthatscreenplay?”

Iwasalittlestunned,buttriedtorecover.
“Backtobusiness,”Isaid,puttingmyphoneawayafterhe’dputinhisnumber.
“There’splentyoftimeforpleasure,”hesaid.
My mind immediately danced around what that pleasure would be, where, when,

and what. But I had to focus. “The screenplay, yes. What’s it about?” I feathered
through the pages. “Some captain leading his platoon over a hill against a hundred
enemysoldiers?”Ijoked,becauseIreallyhadn’treadmuchofitonthedriveup.

“LikeIsaid,it’snotawarmovie.”
“It’saboutAmericansinKoreainthe1950s.Butnotawarmovie.Okay—whatisit?”
“It’s about an American nurse serving in Korea—during the war, yes. She has a

fiancé back home in law school. During her deployment, she goes on a month-long
leavetoAustraliaandmeetsaman.Theyfallmadlyinlove.Soulmatelove.”

“Wow,”Isaid,surprised.Aromance?“Andyouwanttomakethismovie?”
ItcameoutharsherthanIintendedbutLeodidn’tseemoffended.Instead,hesaid,

“Absolutely.”

“Thisisn’tthekindofmovieyounormallymake,”Isaid,statingtheobvious.
“You’rewonderingwherearetheexplosionsandcarchasesandaliens?”heasked.

“Therewillbeasomegunfireinthebeginning.Vivian—that’sourheroine,thenurse—
she’sstationedatahospital,sotherewillbesomebloodanddisturbingwarimages.”

“Thankgoodnessforthat,”Ijoked.
“Butthemajorityofthestory—thebulkymiddle—willbesetinandaroundSydney.

Lotsofsun,brightblueskies,beaches,thatsortofthing.ButIneedyoutohelpwiththe
script.”

Iwasflattered,butintimidated.“Leo,Iappreciatethevoteofconfidenceandallbut

I’mnoexpert.Ican’twriteorrewriteascript.”

“Ithinkyoucan.Ialreadyknowthatyouhaveagoodeyeforstory,andagoodear

for dialogue,” he said. “And frankly, I trust you. No one at the studio—no one
anywhere,actually—knowsI'mworkingonthis.”

“Really?”
“Really,” he said. “And I don’t want them to. I don’t need to hear the negative

commentsaboutLeoArmstrong’sEpixPicturesworkingonwhatthey’dnodoubtcall
some sappy romance, and the industry chatter about my losing grip on reality and
whatmakesahit.Idon’tneedit.SoIwanttoworkonthiswithyou,toseewhatcomes
ofit.”

“Wow,”Isaid,intimidated.“Leo,I’mnotsureI’mqualifiedforthis.”
“Youwon’tbealone,”hesaid.“I’llbewithyoueverystepoftheway.”
I felt not only comfort in that statement, but warmth. Having Leo Armstrong as a

mentoronamoviescriptwasaonce-in-a-lifetimeopportunity.HavingLeoArmstrong
bymysideasIdidanythingwasmorethrillingandexcitingthananyrollercoasterin
theworld.

Ofcourse,nowthathe’ddefiedmypreconceivednotionsabouthim,myguiltwas

slowly crawling back into view again. Guilt over the fact that Leo had entrusted me
withmoreandmoreaspectsofhisbusinessandhispersonallife,whileIwas…

Lying.Plainandsimple.

Itriedtoshakeoffthenaggingsensationsoftensionthatweresqueezingmefrom

theinside,butitwashardtodo.IalmostwishedLeowoulddosomethingmeanagain,
justtoremindmewhyIwasdoinganyofthis.

I’d always considered myself a pretty honest person, but for the first time I was

startingtowonderhowthatcouldbetrueifIwaswillingtosayanddoanythingfora
storyandmycareer.

Thefoodwasservedinslowrounds,givingustimetoenjoyeverybitewhiletalking

aboutthestory.WereadthroughsectionsofittogetherandIgotafeelforthetone.It
wasdefinitelymorecerebralthananyofhisothermovies,tosaytheleast.Hewasn’t
jokingwhenhesaidthemajoritywouldbesetinthehappy,sunnylandofAustralia.

Almostthreehourspassed.I’dbeensoconsumedintalkofthestoryofVivianand

her true paramour, Ian, that I missed the sunset and couldn't even say how many
plates of food we’d gone through. Not to mention the wine and cold sake Leo had
ordered.

“It’sagoodthingyouhavethatdriver,”Isaid,feelingtipsy.“It’salongdrivebackto

WilshireBoulevard.”

“LuckilyIhaveaplacenearby,”hesaid.
Itiltedmyhead.“Youhaveanotherhome?”
Hesmiled.“Amanofmeanscan’thavejustonehome,Sophie.Whatwouldpeople

think?”

“Itwouldbesolowrent,”Isaid,takingalastsipofthesake.“AndI’msurethisplace

ofyoursnearbyisonthebeach?”

He spread his hands. “Why bother having a house in Malibu if it’s not on the

beach?”

“Naturally,”Isaid.“Well,ifyoucanmakeitbacktoyourplacethenStevecandrive

metomylittleshackinCulverCity.Orasmyroommatelikestocallit,SantaMonica
adjacent.”

“Or,”Leosaid,“Stevecoulddriveusbothdowntheroadtomyhouse.”
LikeIwasgoingtosayno?ItwasFridaynightandIhadthewholeweekendtodo

nothing—noKaitbreathingdownmyneck,andIcouldalsoputoffupalittlebitlonger
AvaMarie’sdisappointmentthatIstoodherup.

“Well,”Ibegan,actingasifIwasreallythinkingitover.“Iguesswestillneedtotalk

abouttheendingofthisthing.”Itouchedthepagesofthestill-untitledscreenplay.

“Theworkneverends,doesit?”hesaid.Thewayhelookedatme,playfulwithan

undeniable dose of want in his eyes, made me want to race back to his house—or
anywhereprivate—andpressmylipsandbodytohisandneverletgo.

“Toughlife,”Isaid,andwithinmoments,thecheckwaspaid,andwewereoutthe

door.

“

C H A P T E R 1 1

h,Igetitnow,”Isaid.

WewalkedthroughtheinteriorofhisMalibuhome,andacrosstheopenliving

roomwasafloor-to-ceiling,wall-to-wallpicturewindowthatlookedoutonadeckand
theocean.Whenwe’dpulledupoutside,allIsawwasashorteneddrivewaydirectlyoff
thebusyPacificCoastHighway,andhadthoughthisplacewasasmall,charminglittle
bungalow. But the way it dropped down and spread over the hill and sand and was
morespectacularthanIthought.

Leoslidopenthedoors,andtheroughsoundofthewavesandthecoolbreezeofthe

oceanallcamerushingin.

“Impressed?”Leoasked.
I shook my head. “You know I am. You don’t have or do anything unless it

impressespeople.”HisgrintoldmethatwhatIsaidwastrue.

“Comelook,”hesaid,andIfollowedhimoutontothedeck.
Lightsshoneoutovertherailing,downontothebeachandthewaterrollinginnot

butafewfeetaway.Leocameupbehindme,hisarmsrestingoneithersideofmeon
therailing,lockingmeinasIlookedoutattheview.Hischinbrushedmyforehead.He
coveredhishandsonmineandIletmyselffallbackintohischest.

“It’sbeautiful,”Isaid.Hekissedmytemple,theheatofhislipsonmeundeniable.

Hemoveddowntomycheekandthenmyneck,makingmyeyesrollshutandadeep
sighflowoutofoutofmymouth.Helethistongueskimmyneck,andlightlynipped
theskinthere,makingmewanttoscreamoutoverthesoundofthewavescrashing.
I’dbeenkissedonmyneckbefore,butneverlikethat.Leohadawayofdoingthingsto
me,makingmefeelwaysI’dneverfeltbefore.Itiltedmyheadtotheside,givinghim
more of my neck to kiss and lick and nibble. I pressed into his chest more. Reaching
back, I put my hand behind his head, gathering the curls there, and pulled him even
closertome.IwouldhaveswornIcouldstandthereforever,lettinghislipstastemy
skin,andI’dnevergettiredofit,I’dnevergetbored,I’dneverbeabletogetenough.
His lips moved to my shoulder, and he pulled away the small bit of fabric from my
dresssothathedidn’tmissasinglespot.Hetookalittlebiteoutofmyskinthere,andI
yelped.

“Hey,”Isaid,lookingathim.“Careful.”
“Can’tbe,”hesaid,kissingthesamespot.“Iwanttoeatupeverypartofyou.”

“HowdoyouknowallthingsIwantrightwhenIthinkthem?”Iturnedaroundto

facehim,mybacktotherailing.Ileanedtowardhim,mylipstouchinghis.Despitethe
cool ocean air all I felt was the warmth of his lips. His tongue touched mine, and I
pulledhimcloser,myhanddigginginhishairashiswrappedaroundmyback,pulling
my hips toward him. I let my hand drift over his chest, and I longed to feel the skin
beneathhisshirt.Justasmyfingersbeganplayingwiththebuttons,hestoppedme.

“Wait,”hesaid.“Comeinside.”
Iwouldhavefollowedhimstraightoutintotheoceanifhe’dasked.
I thought he might take him to his bedroom or at least give me a tour of his

stunning (second) home, but instead we sat on the white linen couch, a respectable
distancebetweenus.

“Is everything okay?” I asked, suddenly nervous. Was he going to tell me that he

didn’twanttoseemeanymore,orworse—thatheknewwhoIwas?

“Ofcourse,”hesaid,reachingformyhand.Iinstinctivelymovedclosertohim;he

puthisotherhandontopofmineandheldtight.Withhiseyesdownonourhands,he
said,“Idon’twantyouthinkIjustbroughtyouheretosleepwithyou,although,”he
smiled,“Ihavetoadmitit’sonmymindalot.”Igrinned,mychestburstingwiththe
pleasureofknowingI’dbeenonLeoArmstrong’smind.Heranhisfingersupmyarm,
sendingchillsallovermybody.“ButthenIrealized,”hesaid,“thatIdon’tevenknow
whereyou’refrom.IknowsomewhereinMaine,butIdon’tknowwhattown.”

I almost laughed. Actually, I think I kind of did. Leo Armstrong wanted to know

where I was from? Okay, then. “Mechanicsville, Maine. It’s about as glamorous as it
sounds.”

“Hmm,Mechanicsville,”hesaidwithmockserious.“AndIsupposeyouwereraised

tobeamechanic?”

“Waytogoforthelow-hangingfruit,”Isaid.
“Anuncreativemovieguy,”hejoked.“What’dyouexpect?Ineedyoutoeditme.”
“Veryfunny,”Isaid,butIlovedthesoundofhimneedingme,evenifhewasonly

teasing.

“Didyoualwayswanttobeawriter?”
“Thisissoundingstrangelylikeajobintervieworsomething.”
“Or something like a date?” he said. “I’d say a first date but I’m not sure we’ve

properly had one so I want make sure I get to know you. Like a normal guy who is
seeinganormalgirl.”

“Youaresonotanormalguy,”Isaid.
“And you are no normal girl,” he said, grinning. “So tell me—what’s your favorite

movie?”

“Sure,nopressure,”Isaid.“Onlythemoviequestion.”
“Itdoesn’thavetobeoneofmymovies,”hesaid.“Infact,I’mprettysureitisn’t.”
“Ifthiswereajobinterview,I’ddefinitelysayoneofyourmovies,”Isaid.“I’dsay,

DangerousConnections.OrmaybeNoSecondChances.Bothvisuallystunning.”

“No,comeon,”hejokedrightbackwithme.“Whatkindofmoviesdoyoulike?”
“Thisislikewhensomeoneaskswhatkindofmusicyoulistento,andyouhaveto

admitthatyoulovepopmusicmorethananything.”

“I love pop music,” he said, touching his chest. When I gave him a look, he said,

“Okay,Ithinkit’sinsipidandtheendofcivilizationasweknowitbutthat’sokay.You
canstillbeanormalpersonandlikepopmusic.Maybe.Idon’tknow,Imightneedto
thinkonthisone.”

“Forget it,” I said. “I’m not telling you what my favorite movie is or what kind of

musicIlike.”

“Soyoudolikepopmusic?”
HeeyedmecloselyasIsatforamoment,thinking.FinallyIburstout,“Okay,it’s

true!Ilikepopmusic,which,bytheway,meanspopularmusic.Lotsofpeoplelikeit.
It’sfunandenergeticandsometimesthelyricsreallyspeaktome.”

Leo fell back against the sofa, his hands over his face. “Oh my god, what have I

gottenmyselfinto?NextthingIknowshe’llbetellingmeherfavoritemovieisMaidin
Manhattan.”

“Well,itwasn’tsobad…”
“Stop!Ican’tlistenanymore!”
“Oh,please,”Isaid.“Comingfromtheguywhoselastmoviehadmoreexplosions

thanthelastsixmonths’moviescombined.Yeah,that’sart.”

“Ouch,”hesaid,clutchinghisheart.“Hitmewhereithurts.”
I reached over and put my hand over his, over his heart. “Don’t worry. You’ll

survive. I bet that thing is made of steel, anyway.” He slid his hand out from under
mine,andcoveredmyhandwithhis.Ifeltthesteadybeatofithisheartbeneaththe
softfabricofhisshirt,andonceagainIwantedtoundothosebuttonsofhis.Myeyes
foundhis,lookingatmesoclosely,sendingaswarmofbutterfliesintomystomach.His
fingertips touched my face, then traced lightly over my lips, which were parted and
eagerforhimtocomecloser,tocoverminewithhis.

“Ilovekissingtheselips,”hesaidquietly.
Inudgedmychinupthesmallestbit,wantingtobeclosertohis.Hedidn’tmove,

justkeptlookingandbrushingmylips,usinghisthumbtotugslightlyonmybottom
lip.IthoughtImightscreamoutifIdidn’thavemoreofhim,soIranmyhandoverhis
strong,solidchest,feelingthemusclesbeneath,feelinghisownbreathpickupatmy
touch.

He took my face in his hands, pulled me to him and pressed his lips to mine. I

inhaledhisnow-familiarscent,thatsweetnessandspiceminglingtogether,andlethis
lipssetthepace.Justhavingapartofmybodypresseduptohis,havinghishandson
me,waswhatIneeded.Soon,histongueslippedagainstmine,andIsavoredthetaste
ofhim.ThedeepintakeofbreathhetookseemedtomirrorthewayIfelt—anytouch
wasthrilling,butIalwayswantedalittlemore,thenalittlemoreagain.

He pulled me closer to him so that my chest was pressed against his. Our kisses

becamedeeper,moreurgent.Myfingersgotlostinhishairashishandsroamedmy
back and caressed my waist. He kissed my cheeks, not sweetly but passionately, and
soonhislipswerebackonmyneck,kissing,tasting,tuggingonmyskin.Iturnedmy
head,givinghimasmuchofmyneckashewanted,andhecoveredmewithmoreof
hismouth,pullingdownthesideofmydresstokissmyshoulder.Hishandranacross
myneckandcollarbone,andIleanedawaytogivehimmore,alwaysmore.Hetraced
myskinwithhisfingertips,hiseyeshungryandonmybody.

I’d never felt passion like this in my life. I’d liked guys before, and had obviously

been attracted to them, but nothing like this. With my ex, Paul, the kisses and
everythingelsehadbeenslowanddull,nothinglikethefeelingIhadofwantingtorip
everyinchofclothingoffLeoashedidthesametome.

Hepulledonesideofmydressstrapdownoffmyshoulder,thentheother,kissing

mychestashewent.Ihopedwitheverycellinmybodythatheplannedtokissevery
inchofme,nomatterhowlongittook.I’dneverneededsomethingsomuchinmylife
asIneededmoreofhim,rightthen.

Ireachedbehindmeandunhookedmybra,exposingmybarebreaststohim.His

breathdeepenedashiseyestookmein.

“Mygod,”hesaid.“You’resobeautiful.”
His hand held my breast firmly as his mouth went back to my skin, going lower,

ontothetopofmybreastashishandstayedontheother,histhumbbrushingacross
myhardenednipple.Iarchedmyback,givinghimmore.Histonguelappedacrossmy
nippleandIgrippedontothebackofhishead,gatheringhiscurlsinmyhandasItried
not to cry out. The slow licks his tongue made had me panting, and when he gently
tookmynipplebetweenhisteethandgavealittlepull,Imoaned.

“Please,”Isaid.“Don’tstop.”
HegavemewhatIwanted.Hismouthworkedovermybreastsmoreurgently,his

handholdingandkneadingme,andthenhismouthwasonmeagain,takingasmuch
in as he could while his tongue worked its magic, rocking a sensitive spot in me,
makingmecompletelywet,wishinghecouldbeallovermeatonce.Thethingshe’d
donetomesofar—athisapartment,onhisplane,andevenheretonight—showedme
that he knew exactly what my body wanted before I even knew myself. Tonight,
though,Ididn’twanttostop.

“Leo,”Isaid,butitcameoutlikeamoan.Myheadwastiltedback,myfingersstill

tangledinhishair.Itriedagain.“Leo,wait.Nothere.”

Hepulledbackandlookedatme,concerninhiseyes.“Okay,I’llstop.”Hisfingers

touchedmyfacesoftly.“Idon’twhatitisaboutyou,Sophie,butyou’reimpossibleto
resist.ShouldIslowdown?Orstop?”

IfounditutterlycharmingthathewasworriedaboutpushingmetoofarwhenallI

wantedtodowasgoalltheway,andnow.Ismiledandsaid,“Donotstop.Donotslow
down.Just…nothere.Onthecouch.Ifthat’sokay.”

Hiseyesdarkenedashecrushedhislipsbacktominequickly,deeplybeforepulling

back again. He pulled the straps of my dress back up into place, kissing my shoulder
again.

“Comeon,”hesaid,standing,givingmeafullviewofjusthowmuchhewantedme.

Flashbacks of his bulging cock in my mouth came back to me, and I had to take his
handtopullmeintostandingposition—Iwasn’tsureIhadthestrength.

WhenIstoodfacetofacewithLeo,hishairwastousledandlookedwild,givinghim

a boyish look. He kissed my lips again, and I wondered if we’d even make it to the
bedroom.

C H A P T E R 1 2

eo grabbed the edge of the comforter and pulled the whole thing off in one
dramatic motion. I almost laughed, but when he turned his eyes back to me, all

senseoffunnyvanishedalongwiththatcomforter.

He kissed me, taking my mouth as if it belonged to him. A groan tickled in my

throat, wanting to give him everything he wanted. My entire body throbbed to feel
everyinchofhim.Mylegsfeltweak,andIwantedhimtojustthrowmedownonthe
bed,butsomethingaboutstandingnearitandnothavingitfeltevenhotter.

Myfingersfoundhischest,andthebuttonsonhisshirtthatheldmebackfromhis

deliciousskin.Ashecontinuedtokissmesodeeply,Ifumbledtoopenthosebuttons
untilfinallytheywereallfreeandIpushedhisshirtoffoverhisshouldersanddown
his arms, feeling the strength and power of them as the shirt fell away. I pulled my
mouth away from his, eager to see his naked chest, to savor the sight and feel of it,
somethingI’dbeenlongingtodo.

Leowatchedme,hishandslightlycaressingmywaistasmyhandstracedthepeaks

and dips of his muscular chest. His skin was smooth with light bits of hair across the
middle. His nipples were hard and, operating only on want, I pressed the flat of my
tongueonhim,lickingoverthatnipple.Hissharpintakeofbreathedgedmeon,andI
kissed him across his powerful chest while running a hand over the table of his abs,
feeling the uneven gasps of breath he took under my hand. My hand dipped past his
waistandoverhiscock,hardandpressingagainsthispants.

His eyes, heavy with passion, found mine again, and he pulled me in for another

deep kiss as he pulled down the straps of my dress, slowly lowering it to my waist,
exposing my bare breasts. I stepped into him, feeling our bare chests together, our
fleshmeldingintooneanother,andthesensationfeltlikewarmth.Icouldfeeltheheat
onmyfaceashisfingersfoundthezipperinthebackofmydress,takingitalltheway
downandlettingthedressfalltotheground.StayingasclosetohisbodyasIcould,we
movedtogetherasIpushedthedressaway,hearingitslideacrossthefloor,unneeded.

Leoheldmywaistinhisbighands,takingastepbacktolookatme.Heshamelessly

let his eyes slowly wander down my body as I stood before him, exposed. His hands
roamed across my body, stroking my arms and shoulders, brushing over my beasts,
taking only a moment to hold them firmly in his hands before moving further down
myhipsagain.Hishandranacrossthefrontofmylaceunderwear,mystomachcaving

inathistouch.Andthen,Leogotonhiskneesbeforeme.

Idon’tthinkI’deverseenanythinghotterinmyentirelife.
Heranhishandacrossmystomach,mybreathraggedathistouch,athismouthso

closetomypussy.Iinstinctivelypushedmyhipsalittleclosertohim.Heleanedinand
kissedmystomach,movinghisbodyclose,hishandsmovingaroundmyhipsandonto
myass,lettingmepushclosertohim.

Hekissedmeovermypanties,ontheverytopofmythigh,thenacrosstojustunder

mybellybutton.Myheadfellback,feelinghismouthonme,mylegsbarelyholdingme
up.MyhandsfoundhisheadandIwovemyfingersintohisthickhair,touchinglightly
thistime,lettinghimmoveashewanted.Hismouthwentlower,overmymound,my
handstighteningaroundhiscurls.Ilookeddowntoseehim,hismouthkissingcloser
tomytightbudthatachedforhim.Hemovedhismouthontomysex,andtheheatof
hisbreaththroughmypantiesontomemadememoanoutandthistime,Itrulyfelt
likeIwouldfalloverfromlackofoxygen.

“Leo,”Ibreathed.“Please.Wait.”
Whenhemovedhismouthtolookupatme,hereplacedthespotonmewithhis

hand, moving his fingers back and forth across me, sure he could feel, even through
thethinfabric,howsoakedIwas.Heranhisotherhanduppastmyribs,takingholdof
mybreast.Imoanedagain,myeyesfallingshut.

ButnowthatIknewweweregoingtoactuallydothis—havesex—bethatintimate,

Irealizedthatitwascompletelywrongformetodoitunderfalsepretenses.

Myliesweretrulyaweb,trappingme,andseeinghimthiswayandknowinghowI

feltabouthim—Icouldn’tkeepquietanylonger.

“Weneedtotalk,”Isighed,feelingalmostsickatthethought.
“Oh?”Leostoodup,hiseyesconcerned,andIsatontheedgeofthebed.
“Talkaboutwhat?”heasked.
“Ijust…Idon’tevenknowwheretobegin.Ijust…youknowthatIneverwantedto

beanactor.”

“Yes,wealreadycoveredthat,”hesaid,hiseyescrinklingup.
“AndI’vetoldyouthatIreallywanttowrite…”
Leolaughed.“And?”
Ithoughtaboutjustblurtingitout.I’majournalistsenttowriteastoryaboutyou.

Mynameisalie,mystoryisalie…everythingbutthefactthatItrulydohavefeelingsfor
you.

“Ijustwantustobehonestwitheachother,”Isaid.“Like,Iwantyoutobeableto

tellmeeverything,andIcantellyou—“

“Hold on,” Leo said, putting a hand up. He came closer and knelt down again,

grabbing my hands. “You seem like you’re getting in your head, Sophie. This doesn’t
needtobeheavy.Ireallylikeyouandyoulikeme,right?”

Inodded.“Yes,Ireallydo.”
“As for the rest,” he said, looking down. “I’m not really that kind of guy—the tell

eachotheralloursecretsanddeepestfearskindofguy,ifyougetwhatI’msaying.”

I felt like he’d just thrown cold water on me. He didn’t want to be intimate

emotionally—just physically. So he’d asked me a few details about where I grew up,
that didn’t mean he really was ever going to share himself with me. I’d been fooled

again,orrather,I’dfooledmyselfagain.

“Iunderstand,”Itoldhimsoftly.
Heputahandundermychinandtiltedmyheaduptolookathim.“Areyouangry

withme?”heasked.

“No.I’mnot,”Isaid,anditwastrue.Iwasdeeplydisappointed,andIknewthatthe

rightthingtodonowwastostopeverythingandleave.PerhapsevenleaveLA.

“Come back to me, Sophie,” he said, running his fingers over my hand, sending

chillsupmyarms.“Don’tgetinyourhead.Stayhere.Beherewithmerightnow.”

I realized at that moment that my desire for him was stronger than my ethical

dilemma,strongerthanmydisappointmentinLeo’sinabilitytoreallytrustmeorshow
merealcommitment.

Istillwantedhim,insomewaysmorethanever.
I’d tried to tell him the truth and he’d made it very clear he wasn’t interested in

hearingwhatIhadtosay.

The wolfish look in his eyes as they considered me brought me back to my base

urges, and suddenly my hands went for his belt, flipping it open in quick time. His
breathcaughtandhishandsfellawayfromme,danglingathissideashewatchedmy
handsunbuttonandthenunziphispants,slowenoughtoteasehim,fastenoughtosee
what I wanted. As I pushed his pants down he quickly kicked off his shoes. As he
steppedoutofhispantsheslippedoffhissocksaswell.

“Nowwe’reeven,”hesaid,standingbeforemeinasmuch—asfewclothesasIwas.
“Not quite,” I said. I rubbed my hand over the smooth fabric of his boxer briefs,

barelycontaininghishuge,longcock,rememberingthesmoothfeelofitinmyhand
ontheplane.Insteadofteasinghimlikehehaddoneme,Iloweredhisbriefs,watching
as his dick sprung free from the confines of those snug shorts. Before I could get my
handsonhim,Leotookhiscockinhisownhand,strokingitslowlyupanddownwhile
watchingme,mouthfullygapingwithdesire.

Heslowlypulledupandback,breathingdeeplyashedid.Heangledhisdicktoward

me,towardmymouth,andIaccepted.Ileanedforward,lickingthetipofhim,swirling
my tongue around as he muttered curses above me. He brushed my hair off my
shoulder,andseeinghishandholdhisdicktowardmelikeanofferingmademewetter
than I thought possible. Stretching my mouth open, I took him in, going as deep as I
could before letting my tongue drag over him as I pulled up. Leo moaned my name,
andIputmyhandoverhis,encouraginghimtokeephishandonhimself.

His eyes fell closed as he moved his hand up and down over his dick, his strong

hand fisting himself, moving the way he liked. He went slowly but soon he couldn't
helphimself,speedingup.Heopenedhiseyes,pushinghiscocktowardmeagain.

“Ineedyourmouthonme,”hebreathed.Igladlytookhiminagain,slidinghiminto

mygreedymouth,openingmythroatasmuchasIcould.Imoanedasmymouthfelt
asmuchofhimasIcouldtakein,morethanlasttime,hisdickgoingdeeperintomy
openingthroat,feelingmoreofhiminsideme.Myheadbobbedfast,thefeelingofhim
sogood.Leo’shandskeptbrushingmyhairoutofmyfaceandIknewhewaswatching
me,makingmewrapmylipsalittletighteraroundhim,pressmytongueagainsthima
little more firmly. And then he did to me what I’d done to him. He pulled back, his
perfectmembersuddenlyleavingmyinsatiablemouth.

He stood back a foot, looking at me with wild, ravenous eyes. “I don’t want to

come,”hesaid.“Notyet.”

Iscootedbackonthebed,andhewasonmelikeatiger,quickly,coveringmybody

withhis.Heburiedhisfaceinmyneck,coveringitwithbitesandkissesashepressed
hisbarecockontomystill-coveredpussy.Ashemovedhishipsoverme,pushinghis
stiffcockovermythrobbingpussy,Iclosedmyeyestoallothersensesexcepttouch.I
movedmyhipsintimewithhis,atoncerevelingandcursingthetinybitoffabricthat
separatedus.Hisarmsoneithersideofme,Iranmyhandsoverthesolidstrengthof
hisbiceps,feelingthemusclesflexevenmoreasLeomovedhisbodyaboveme.

He sat back on his heels, running his hand across my body, taking me in with his

eyes.

“I’vebeenthinkingofthissinceIfirstsawyouintheaudition,”hesaid.
I kept my eyes on his, not wanting to think about that audition. When his hands

movedtomyunderwear,Iliftedmyhipstohelphimpullthemdownmythighsand
offmylegs.Finally,Ilaytotallybarebeforehim.

AdeepgroanescapedLeoashelookedovermybodyhungrily.Iwassurprisedat

howmuchIlovedbeingsoexposed,hiseyesalloverme.Maybeitwasthepuredesire
inhiseyes,adesirethatwassolelyforme.

Inquickmotion,hisarmwasundermybackandhepulledmeup,mylegsaround

hiships,bothofussittingup,facingeachother.Heusedhisstrongarmtopullmyhips
upalittlemore,lettingmywetpussyslideoverthelengthofhiscock.Iwrappedmy
arms around his neck, holding on as he dragged me back and forth but never letting
himselfinsideme.

Herockedourbodiesslowlyagainstourmostsensitivespots,andIsimplyheldon.

WithonearmaroundhisneckIbrushedhischeekwiththeother,touchingthelight
stubble of the late day, running my hand across the smooth bridge of his forehead,
lookingintohisMediterraneanblueeyeswhiletryingtogetairintomylungs.Thelips
of my pussy throbbed as Leo continued to tease and thrill me. Each time I slid up,
nearingtheheadofhiscock,Ipushedalittleharder,tryingtogethiminsideme.

“God,Leo,”Isaid,pullinghimcloser.
Herespondedbycoveringhismouthwithmine,takinginmymoans.Ourtongues

collided,tangled,wentdeeperwitheveryrockofhiships.

My hands tangled in his hair and my lips kissed his face and neck in a desperate

attempttogetmoreofhim,getcloser,takeinmoreofthisincredible,sexy,irresistible
man.

Leosuddenlycrashedmebackonthebed.Wewerebothpanting,eatingeachother

up with our eyes. He opened my knees up and I was there, spread out before him,
waitingforhimtotakehim.Leotookhiscockinhishandandsliditupanddownmy
slickwalls,pausingatmyopening,touchingjustthetipafractionintome.Igroaned,
pushingmyselfclosertohim.Ifeltnothingbutmythrobbingsexandhisdick,teasing
meintoinsanity.

“Please, please,” I begged, desperate for him. He rubbed his cock over my clit,

making me all but scream, reaching out for him, trying to pull him closer. But Leo
seemed to revel in torturing me, gently pushing my hands away. He kneaded my
breast,rubbinghisthumbovermynipplewhilecontinuingtoteasemypoorcunt.He

startled me in the best way possible when he dipped his cock halfway in me before
meanlypullingbackout.Ialmostcried.Icouldn'ttakemuchmore.

“You’re beautiful when you beg,” he said. “You want this?” he asked, tracing the

drenchedwallsofmemore.

“God,yes,”Isaid,unabletostopmyhipsfromwiggling,unabletoopenmyeyesto

anymoresenses.“I’lldoanything,”Isaid,andinthatmomentImeantit.I’dhavedone
anythingtohaveLeoArmstrongburiedinsideme.

“Anything, huh?” he said, a teasing lilt to his voice. “Okay, then. Look at me.” I

moanedbutmyeyesstayedclosed.Hepulledhisdickawayfromme.

“No,”Isaid,myeyesflashingopen.“Comeback,”Iwhimpered.
Alustingsmilecrossedhisface.“That’sgood,”hesaid,movinghisdickbacktome,

keeping the tip just barely pressed against the entrance. “Keep them open,” he
breathed. He slowly pushed his hips forward, his long dick slowly taking over, filling
meup.Mymouthfellopeninsilentecstasy,myeyesfixedonhisdarkeningeyes.He
pulled out slowly then pressed hard, deliberately into me, and I couldn’t contain my
moansanymore,quicklyturningintoscreamsofpurepleasure.

Leo fell forward onto his forearms, upping the thrusting rhythm of hips, pushing

intomeharderwitheachthrust.Hetookmylegunderkneeandpresseditbacknearly
ontomyshoulder,andIfeltitallmorefully.Leokepthiseyesonme,brushingmyhair
offmyforehead,evenmanagingtokissmethereashekeptuphisunrelentingpace.I
couldfeelmyselfgettingcloser,andwhenheslowedhishipsIbuckeduptowardhim.

“Impatient,”hesaid,grinningdownatme,sweatdottinghistemplesasheworked

tosatisfyusboth,givingmeeverythingIwanted.

“Yes,”Iadmitted,notcaring,onlywanting.
HeslowedhispacebutpushedharderintomeuntilIcouldfeelhisballsslapagainst

me.Leowasholdingittogether,Icouldseeitinhiseyes,andallIwantedwastocome
withhim.“I’msoclose,”Iadmitted.

“Oh, fuck,” he said, and his hips jerked faster and faster until we were both

screamingout.IdugmynailsintoLeo’sbackashesentmecompletelyovertheedge,
squeezingmyselfaroundhimasIpushedmyhipsuptomeethisasthereleasecame,
bursting through the scream in my mouth and the explosion on my pussy. Leo
groanedwithmeandfellintothecrookofmyneck,bothofuscompletelyspent.

Welaypantinglikethatforseveralmoments,metryingtogetmysensesbackwhile

notwantingtoletgoofLeo.Hehadmyheadspinning.

“Evenifanearthquakestartedrightnow,”hesaid,stillpanting,“Iwouldn’tbeable

tomove.”

“Iwouldn'tbesurprisedifyoujustcausedanearthquake,”Isaid,myhandonmy

foreheadasItriedtocatchmybreath.

Hesatuponhisforearmandlookeddownatme,aplayfulgrinonhisflushedface.

“Thatwasallyou,”hesaid,lightlykissingmylips.

“Please,”Isaid,butcouldn'tstopmyselffromgrinning.
“Youarefarsexierthanyouknow,Sophie,”hesaid.
Wefellasleeplikethat,tangledineachother’slimbs,ahappygrinonbothourfaces.

IwonderedifI’deverfeelsofullandcontentagain.

C H A P T E R 1 3

hen I woke up the next morning, it wasn’t with Leo Armstrong, the youngest
studio head in Epix history. It wasn’t even Leo Armstrong, the panty dropper

playboy. It was Leo Armstrong, the man who hated pop music and loved a good
prosecco.Themanwhowantedtotrynewthingswithhisstudio,thingsthatmightget
himlaughedoutoftown.Themanwhoseonekisscouldsendmetoanotherplaneton
awaveofecstasy.LeoArmstrong,themanlayingbesidemesopeacefully,hislashes
restingonhischeekbones,hisbreathingdeepandeven,lookinglikehedidn’thavea
care in the world instead of a billion dollar empire on his shoulders and millions of
eyeballswatchinghiseverymove.

Ofcourse,thosethoughtswereimmediatelyfollowedbytheconflictingemotionsI

stillhadaroundwhatthisthingbetweenusreallywasandtheliesIwascontinuingto
tell.

Leohadmadeitperfectlyclearthatourrelationshipwasn’tserious.
Andhishistorywithotherwomenmadeitalmostimpossibletoforgetthatsomeday

soon,Iwouldbecomejustanothernotchonhisbelt,anotherwomaninhislonglistof
femaleconquests.

ButIlikehim.Ireallydolikehim,Ikeptthinking,asifthatchangedanything.
Iknew,intheend,howIfeltaboutLeodidn’tmakeanounceofdifferenceabout

anyofit.

Ileanedoverhimandkissedhischeek,thenhisforehead.Hetookinabreathand

stretchedhislongbodyevenlonger,thesheet,whichhadbeencarelesslydrapedover
hisperfectbody,nowexposedhisstrongchest.

Withoutopeninghiseyes,hereachedformeandpulledmeclose,buryinghisface

inmyneck,makingmesquealwithdelight.

“That tickles,” I said, pulling away and laughing. He growled and bit some more,

movinghisstill-nakedbodyontopofmine.

“You don’t know what you do to me,” he said into my neck. From the rising cock

betweenhislegs,Ihadagoodidea.Iwrappedmylegsaroundhiswaistandpulledhim
close,alreadywetandopenandreadyforhim.

Afterteasingmyneck,Leoleanedononeelbowandlookeddownatme,brushing

thehairoutofmyface.Whenhewhisperedmyname,Ireacheddownforhim,taking
himinmyhandandguidinghimintome.Heletoutasoftmoan,hiseyesfallingshut.

Heslowlyslidinandoutofme,andasmuchasIwantedhimtopumpashardintome
as he had last night, I also wanted this, wanted this gentleness to make it last longer.
Every moment Leo was inside me was a moment I was in total, blissful heaven. I
movedmybodyintandemwithhis,reachingtoholdhisfirm,tightassinmyhands,
feelingthemotionandmatchingtherhythmhemade.Hekissedmyneckbutgently,
sweetly.HewhisperedinmyearhowsexyIwas,lethishandroamovermybreast,all
thewhileneverstopping,alwaysmovinginsideme.

Hepushedmykneeopen,makingmefeelmoreofhim.Heshiftedhispositionso

thathishard,wetcockmovedagainstmyclit,bringingmesocloseIwantedtosqueeze
myeyesshutagainsttheintensepleasureofhisbodyinsideofmine.ButLeokepthis
steelyblueeyesonmine,watchingmeashemoved,asIpantedandgrewmoreheated,
holdinghimcloserandtighter.Hepickeduphisspeedbutslightly,movinginjustthe
rightplaceuntilIdidn’tthinkIcouldholditoffanylonger.

“God, Sophie,” he said, watching me, and hearing my name on his lips sent me

straightover,pleasureburstingoutofme,aloudcrycomingfromdeepinmythroatas
Isqueezedmyeyesagainstitall.Irockedmyhipsuptohis,wantingeverylastbit.Leo
groaned and dropped his head back into my neck where it fit so perfectly. After a
moment,heslowlyloweredmyleg.

“Don’tgo,”Isaid,grabbinghisassagainashetriedtoslideoutofme.Thatwasthe

lastthingIwanted.

Hechuckledintomyneck.“Shouldwejuststayherelikethisallday?”
“Allweekend,”Isaid.WhatIwantedtosaywas,Forever.
“Soyou’restayingallweekend,Isee?”
Iimmediatelycringed.Howfoolish,howpresumptuoustothinkIcouldstayhere,

thathedidn’thaveamillionbetterthingstodo.

“No,Imean,I’msureyouhave…”
Leo stopped my worries by pushing his still-hard cock further inside me. Moving

gentlyhesaid,“Stayaslongasyoulike.”

I turned to look at him, eye to eye. I ran my hand over the morning’s stubble,

goldenandtanandonlyslightlyprickly.Insteadofansweringhim,Ikissedhim.

When we finally untangled our bodies I was sticky with love and starving hungry

fromalltheenergy.LeosaidIcouldtakeashowerwhilehewentsearchingforfoodin
thekitchen.

“Tobehonest,Ihavenoideawhat’sstockedhere,”hesaid.
Beforehewent,Ihadtohavehimhelpmefigureouttheshower.Therewasn’tjust

a knob to turn the water on. It was all digitized so that the temperature of the water
couldbesetatwhatevertheuserliked.

“It doesn’t have to be this complicated,” I said, standing naked in the shower big

enoughfortenpeopleashepunchedbuttonsonthekeypad.

“Ihonestlyonlyknowhowtodoitformyself,”hesaid.“Ijustpushthisbuttonand

it’ssetonthetemperatureIlike.”

“Sopushit!”
“Screwit,thenI’mgettinginwithyou.”
“Iwin,”Icheeredashetossedhisboxersandstartedthewater.ItwascolderthanI

liked,butLeo’sarmsaroundme,takinggreatcaretolathereverypartofmybodyas

thetwoofusgrinnedlikefoolsmademefeelwarmerthanIhadinyears.

And then Leo made me breakfast. Leo Armstrong made me breakfast. He found

someeggsandturkeysausagethathecookedupwithappleslicesonthesideandtwo
steamingcupsofthebestcoffeeI’veevertasted.Thesunwasshiningovertheocean,
showinganewviewthanwhatI’dhadlastnight—thesapphirebluewaterkickingup
onthebeach,localstakingmorningstrollsorwalkingtheirdogs.

“Youknow,”Leosaid,breakingintomyzoned-outdaze.“Wehaven’ttalkedabout

theending.”

…of our relationship, is what I heard at the end of his sentence, even though he

hadn’t spoken it. I wasn’t prepared to think about anything but each moment I had
withLeo,atleastuntilMondaymorning.Besides,Iknewwhathemeant.

“The ending of the screenplay,” I said. We hadn’t made it all the way through the

scriptlastnightsoIactuallydidn’tknowhowthestoryended.IpicturedVivienne,the
nurse, setting up shop on the Gold Coast and her true love, Ian, teaching her how to
surf.

“Comeon,”Leosaid,settingdownhiscoffeemug.“Iwanttoshowyousomething.”
Heledmeacrossthesmooth,shinyfloorstoanofficeontheotherendofthehouse.

Fromashelfbehindadeskhetookasilverpictureframeandshowedittome.Itwasa
fadedphotoofawomaninawhitehalterswimsuit,grinningonabeach.

“Whoisthis?”Iasked.“She’sbeautiful.”
“That’smygrandmother,”hesaid,“onBondiBeachin1952.”
Ilookedupathim.“That’sinAustralia.”
“Yes,”hesaid.
“Likeyourscript.”Henodded.“IsthisVivienne?”
“Technicallythat’sAlice,”hesaid.“ButVivienneisaversionofmygrandmother.”
Putting it all together, I said, “So the story in the screenplay is about your

grandmother?It’satruestory?”

“No,notentirely,”hesaid.“Butallfictionhasabitofthewriter’struthinit.Ididn’t

wanttodoastraightre-tellingofmyfamily’sstory.”

Yesterdaywe’dtalkedalotaboutthecharacters—howViviennewasastrong-willed

woman,boldforthetimeshelivedin.Shewasanurseinthearmyandvolunteeredto
go help soldiers during the Korean War. Her fiancé, Ronald, practically forbade her
from going. And during her leave—her vacation while stationed in Korea—she and a
coupleofhergirlfriendswenttoAustraliawhereshemetIan,adashingAussiewitha
mega-watt smile. Leo and I talked about how Ian was everything Ronald was not—
spontaneous,fulloflife,adventurous.ThingsthatViviennewantedinherlifebutfelt
stifledbybeingayoungwomaninthe1950s.Butwehadn’tgottenbeyondthat.

“Isshestillalive?”Iasked.“Yourgrandmother?”
“No,”hesaid.“Shepassedrecently,actually.”
“Whataboutyourgrandfather,”Isaid.“TheIancharacter?”Iwonderedwherehis

photowas.

Leo shook his head. “He’s not my grandfather. When she finished her service in

KoreaandcamebacktotheStates,shepickeduprightwheresheleftwithRonald.”

Ilookedbackdownatthesmilingwomaninthephoto,clearlysohappyandfullof

life.“ButwhataboutIan?”

“Whatabouthim?”Leosaid,ratherharshly.“Inmyfamily,thereareobligations—to

bewiththerightperson,tohavetherightjob,liveintherightcity.I’mtheonetobreak
thatcycle.”Hetookthephotofrommeandsetitbackontheshelf.“Ikeepherphototo
remindmetolivemyownlife.Myparentsfollowedasimilarpathasmygrandparents.
Theyweretwopeoplewhonevershouldhavebeentogetherbuttheirfamiliesdeemed
it a good match. They divorced before I was four and went on to marry three other
times. All I’ve seen my whole life is a series of failed relationships, disastrous
marriages,uselessstepsiblings.Myfamilyhasbecomeawastelandofvariousstrangers
whohavepassedthroughonthewaytoanotherfailedrelationship.Iwon’thavethat
in my life. I’ll never marry, and when a relationship ends, that’s it. I walk away and
don’tlookback.”Heshruggedasifthiswasallnormal.“It’sthewayIlearned.AndI
thinkit’saninterestingenoughstorytotell.”

“Sothemovieisn’taromance,”Isaid.“It’satragedy.”
“Ofsorts,”hesaid.Heturnedhiseyestomeandsaid,“Acautionarytale.”
Itcrushedmetothinkofanyonelivingthatway.“Itdoesn’thavetobethatway,”I

said. To cover myself I added, “In the script, I mean. People like love. They like
romance.”

Hesmiledatme,butitwasasadkindofsmile.“That’swhatIloveaboutyou,Sophie

Adams.You’restilluntarnishedenoughtobelievethat.”

Ittookmeamomenttorecoverforthewords.TheIloveyoubit—okay,Iloveabout

you bit. But then I heard what he was really saying—that I was naïve, and he would
neverbeanythingmoretomethanthemind-blowingsexoflastnight.

“I don’t want you to have any false expectations,” he said, putting the final nail

throughmyheart.“Withmeortheendingofthescript.”

Isteeledmyselfagainstthewords,remindingmyselfagainwhatmygoalwas—that

damnedarticle.

“I’mconfused,”IsaidtoLeo,leaningonthedesk.“Areyouusingmeformybodyor

mymind?”

Leoexpressionsoftenedashelookedatme.“Both.Equally.”
“Whatdoyouwanttouserightnow?”Iteased.
Heleanedacrossthedeskandgentlykissedmylips.“Both,”hesaid.
We ended up back in the living—working on the script. Every time I suggested a

tweakforasceneorlengthofdialogue,Leopushedmeonestepfurther.

“That’s the easy thing to say,” he’d tell me of the suggested dialogue. “Audiences

expecthertosaythat,orinthatway.Godeeper,”he’dsay.“Sayitstronger.”AndsoI’d
come up with a better way for the character to state her point, or a better scene for
VivienneandIantomeetforthefirsttime.

TheworkthrilledmemorethanIeverthoughtitwould.Leowasnoteasyonme.

Hewasdemandingandtookonatonethatintimidatedme.ButIwantedtodowellby
him, and the story he wanted to tell. Before I knew it, the sun was setting, and Leo
ordereddinnertobedelivered.

We took a break to eat on the deck as the sun set. We dug into the food realizing

howhungrywe’dbecome.Oncewegotstartedonthescript,wehadn’ttakenasingle
break.Thetimeflewby.

“You never did tell me,” Leo said as he bit into his taco. “What’s your favorite

movie?”

“Didn’twedecidethat’saminefield?”
“No,wedecidednottotalkaboutmusic,”hesaid.
“Youdecided,”Isaid.“Icouldtalkaboutitallday.”
“Pleasedon’t,”hesaid.“Myearscan’ttakeit.”
“Sowhat,then?”
“Movie,”hesaidagain.“Yourfavorite.Whatisit?”
I really didn’t want to tell him. It felt too personal or something. I once read this

bookthatIfellmadlyinlovewith.Icouldn’tstoptalkingaboutit,somyex,Paul,said
hewantedtoreadit,too.Whenhefinished,hedeemedit“obvious,”andI’dfeltasif
someonehadjusttoldmemyfirstbornwasuglyorsomething.IsworeI’dnevermake
thatmistakeagain.

But since I gave Leo grief about his ending, I decided to lead by example and tell

him.

“I’lltellyoumineifyoutellmeyours,”Isaid,hopingtosoftentheblowincasehe

didlaughorrollhiseyesatme.

“Easy,”Leosaidwithoutanounceofshame.“ApocalypseNow.”
Igroaned.“Shouldhaveknown.Big,bloody,manlywarmovie.Youreallyareinthe

rightbusiness.”

“‘I love the smell of napalm in the morning,’” he quoted. “Best line in cinema

history.”

“Gah,”Isaid.
“Come on, Sophie. You should know me well enough by now to know that I am

deeper than that,” he said. “Apocalypse Now explores the darkness in all of us. The
darknessofwar,theinsatiableappetitefordestruction.It’shumannatureoncelluloid.
It’sbrilliant.”

“Morelikehumannatureonsteroids,”Igrumbled.
“Okay, then,” he said. “I told you mine. Now tell me yours. What’s your favorite

movie?”

I paused, not for dramatic affect but out of uncertainty. Flashbacks of Paul’s diss

washedoverme,butIpushedpast.“Fine.It’sDeadPoetsSociety.”

“Neversawit,”hesaid,scoopingupabiteofrice.
Thatwasit?Noreaction?Icouldn'tdecideifIwasrelievedorannoyed.
“How is that possible?” I asked. “You’re in the movie business. That is one of the

classics.”

Hewavedawaymycomment.“Doyouknowhowmanyclassicsthereare?It’san

ever-shiftinglistoffilmsthatarerandomlydeemedamazingforonereasonoranother.
Idon’twanttoseethemall,andIdon’tneedtoseethemall.”

“But…DeadPoetsSociety!It’s…amazing!”
“Remindmenevertohaveyouwritefilmreviews,”hesaid.
Iplayfullyslappedhisarm.“RobinWilliamsis…”
“Annoying,”Leosaid.
“Notinthismovie.Youwouldlikeit.It’saboutyoungmenfindingtheirplaceinthe

world,fightingagainstwhat’sexpectedofthem.”

“Throughpoetry?Nothanks,”hesaid.

“You’re seriously impossible,” I said. I picked up my fork and pushed my food

around my plate. “I’m going to make you see it one day,” I said, that one day still
lingeringonmytongue,thatpossibilityofmore.“You’regonnalikeit.”

“Doubtful,”hesaid.
“You’ll see,” I said, all false confidence and bravado. “And then you’ll have to say

youwerewrongandIwasright.”

“That’sit,”hesaid,tossinghisforkdownonhisplatewithastartlingclank.“Outyou

go.”

BeforeIcouldgaugewhathemeantandwhatwashappening,Leohadmethrown

overhisshoulderandcarriedmedownthestepsofthedeckandoutacrossthebeach.
“InthewateryougoforthinkingI’deversayIwaswrongaboutanything.”

Isquealedwithlaughter,begginghimnottothrowmeinthewater.Peoplewalking

bylookedatusandsmiled,aplayfulcoupleatsunset.

Leosetmedown,thewateruptomyanklesandgentlypushingpastus.Iwrapped

myarmsaroundhisneck,andhepulledmeclose,hishandsrestingonmylowerback.
Heleanedcloseandsaid,“I’llgetyouonewayortheother.”

“Youbetter,”Isaid.Ashekissedme,Ipulledmyselfuphisstrong,solidbodyuntil

mylegswerewrappedaroundhiswaist.Heeasilyheldme,despitemyweightandthe
fightingofthewaves.“Takemeinsideandteachmealesson.”

“Sophie,youwillbetheendofme,”hesaid.
Youandmeboth,Ithoughtashecarriedmeinside.

C H A P T E R 1 4

ejustcouldn'tstopourselves.IfIwasn’ttouchingLeoorwithintwofeetofhim,I
felt myself deflating. He was the oxygen I needed to be alive. But once we got

into a work rhythm, we were unstoppable. By the end of the weekend, we had
eliminated everything from the screenplay that was unnecessary, sketched out what
needed to be rewritten, and had a game plan of how to attack those rewrites. It was
exhaustingandtotallyfulfilling.

Andinthatsametimespan,I’dsomehowmanagedtoconvincemyselfthatthelies

weretruth—IreallywasSophieAdams,strugglingscreenplaywriterwho’dmovedto
LAandtriedherhandatactingonalark.

“AreyougoingtosendmeoffwithSteve,”IaskedLeo,pressingmyselftohischest

aswepreparedtoleaveMalibuandheadbackdowntoourapartments.“Orwillyoube
a gentleman and drive me yourself?” I rose up on the balls of my feet and kissed his
neck.Heranhishandsdownmyarms,sendingchillsallthewaytomytoes.

“Ifyoukeepthatupwewon’tbedrivinganywhere.”Hetookmyfaceinhishands

andkissedme.

JustasIsuspected,Leohadasleekmatteblacksportscar,allloudengineandlowto

the ground. He drove me back to my little place in very unglamorous Culver City,
which happened to be near the Epix movie studios. The drive wasn’t much better, in
termsofuskeepingourhandsoffeachother.Icouldn’tstopleaningacrosstohimto
get my lips back on his neck and face, kissing him like some madwoman. I reached
downandfelthowhardhewasforme.Beingselfishandwantingmoreofhim,danger
bedamned,Ipressedharder,eagertopullhimrightoutofhisjeans,rightthereinthe
car.ButLeopulledmyhandawayandsaid,“Ifyoudon’tstop,Iamseriouslygoingto
wreckthiscarandkillusboth.Andthenwe’llnevergettodothatagain.”

Iwasn’tsureifitwasthethreatofdeathorofnevertouchinghimagainthatfinally

mademestop,butIdidmanagetostayinmyownseatforrestofthedrive.

WhenwefinallyarrivedatmyapartmentIwaswetashellandwantedtofuckhim

right there in his car but knew it was impossible. I also knew I couldn’t invite him
insidemyscrappyapartmentwithmyroommate.SoIkissedhimgoodbye,andgave
hisdickonelasthardrub.

“God,you’recruel,”hesaid.
When I went inside, Ava Marie was sitting in the living room watching TV and

stretching.

“Thatwasyouinthatfancycaroutside?”shesaid,eyeingmecoolly.
“Hey,” I said. Had she seen who I was with? She leaned over her leg, resting her

cheekonherknee.

Itriedtokeepmyvoicelight,toencourageafriendlierexchange.“Look,I’msorry

aboutFridaynight.”

“Sure.Justdon’taskmetosetyouupagain,”shesaid.“MichaelwasannoyedandI

lookedlikeanasshole.Butanyway,youlooklikeyouhadafairlysatisfyingweekend.”
Shesatupandlookedmeupanddown.WasitwrittenonmyfaceallthatIhaddone
overtheweekend?WasIsotransparent?

Ilockedthedoorbehindme.
“Someonefromwork?”shepressed.“Ortheactorguyyoumentioned?”
“Sortof,”Isaid.
Ava Marie eyed me as if she was waiting for me to say what, I didn’t know, but it

mademereallynervous.IfeltlikeIwasbeingquestionedbyacop.

“Hemustbeaprettygoodactortobeabletoaffordacarlikethat,”shesaid.Itook

offmyshoes,readytoracetothesanctuaryofmybedroom,awayfromherquestions
and accusing eyes. “He also looked a lot like someone I know. Some celebrity. Leo
Armstrong?”

Whenshesaidhisname,Ifroze.
“ThatwasLeoArmstrong,wasn’tit?”shesaid.“Ilookedoutthewindowwhenyou

guys drove up.” I swallowed hard against the nerves thrumming through my body.
“Whatthehellareyoudoingwiththatguy?Hehastheworstreputationwithwomen.”

“Iknow.I’mnotwithhim—it’snotlikethat,”Istammered.
“Thenwhat?”AvaMarieasked.“Sophie,Iknowyou’restillfindingyourwayhere,

butyouhavetolookoutforyourself.Don’tstartgettingmixedupwithmenwhoare
onlyouttouseyou.”

“I’mnot.”
“Youhavetobesmart,”shepressed.
“Iam,”Isaid,frustrated.
“Noyou’renot,”sheinsisted.
“Listen,” I said, moving into the living room and sitting on the arm of the sofa. I

suddenlyrealizedIwasactuallygoingtotellsomeonethetruth.Maybeitwasbecause
I’d been holding back for so long, dying to confess my sins to Leo. Telling Ava Marie
was a risk, but I couldn’t seem to keep it all to myself anymore, and besides, she’d
alreadydiscoveredsomeofthetruthonherown.Itookadeepbreath,asifreadying
myselftojumpoffacliff.“Youcan’ttellanyone.Okay?”

“Okaywhat?”sheasked.
“I’m working on a story for the magazine,” I said. “It’s about his reputation with

women.”Idon’tknowwhatIexpectedhertosay.

“Oh,shit,”AvaMariemuttered.“SophieScott,youbetterbecareful.Doyourealize

whothisguyis?”

“Ofcourse,”Isaid,andshotsofhisheavenlyblueeyeslookingdownatmeflashed

acrossmymind.Ishookmyhead.“IknowwhatI’mdoing.”

“Crush magazine—and you—are going up against the head of Epix Studios,” she

said,asifitwasthemostridiculousconceptinhistory.“Don’tleadthisguyon,Sophie.
You’llregretit.”Thewarninginhervoice,thelookonherfacethattoldmeshe’dseen
more than I could ever imagine in this town, made my stomach do a backwards
somersault.

“Everything’sundercontrol,”IsaidasIfeltmyselftremble.
AvaMarieleanedbackoverherknee,goingbacktoherstretching.“Thiscanonly

endindisaster,”shesaid,andominouswasnotastrongenoughwordforhowshesaid
it.

Myperfectweekendwasofficiallyover.
ThatspilledoverintoMonday,withKaithoveringinmycubicle,onceagainasking

aboutLeo.Irealizeditwastheonlytimeshespoketome—indrive-byfashionasking
aboutLeo.

“Ineedmore,”shesaid,whenItoldherlamelythatthegreatLeoArmstrongdidn’t

watchclassicmovies.“Somethingreal.Doyouwanttowriteornot?Don’tgivemethis
babycrapyou’vebeenfeedingme.Weneedmore.Weneedreal.Weneeddirt.Itexists
onthisguy.Don’ttellmeyoucan’tfindit.”

Itwasn’tjustallthathadhappenedovertheweekend—andalotofgoodstuffhad

happened—in the living room, the bedroom, the shower, the kitchen, a little on the
deck...Anditwasn’tjustthewayhe’dlookedatmeinallthosemoments,likehewas
reallyseeingmeandconnectingtome.Ishudderedthinkingabouthiseyesonmeas
hecaressedmyfacemakinglovetome.Itwasn’tjustthat.Itwasallthatwassaid.He
was so honest with me, telling me about his family, sharing details about his
grandmother,nottomentionthesecretscreenplay.Ifeltthathehadtrulyletmein.

But then I remembered what he’d told me about having false expectations about

whatourrelationshipwasreallyabout,andIfeltsickalloveragain.Ireallyshouldn’t
havefooledmyself,thinkingLeoArmstrongmadelovetome.Hefuckedme.Justlike
hedidothergirls.Right?

“Igothisphonenumber,”ItoldKait.“Hesaidhehadn’tmeanttokeepitfromme,

justthathisassistantsetupthephone.”

“Right,”shescoffed.“Haveyoutriedthenumberyet?Probablywon’tgothrough.I

bet he accidentally gave you the wrong number, and it’ll be another week before he
triesagain,andthenthere’llbeanotherexcuseandthenhe’llbedonewithyou.He’ll
be on to the next piece before you ever get his real number. That’s how these guys
operate,Sophie.”

Ilookeddownatmyphonerestingonmydesk,andwondered.
Kaitletoutadeep,annoyedsigh.“Whatelse?”
My brain didn’t know which way to go. I didn’t know what to believe. Before I’d

walkedintomyapartmentlastnightIhadbelievedthatI’djusthadthebestweekend
of my life. Now I didn’t know what to believe. Was I being played? The worst of it, I
realized,wasthatLeocouldn'tplaymebecausehe’dalreadylaidouthisrulesforme,
forus.Ididn’tgetasayinit.WhatabouthowIfelt?

“Hetoldme,”Ibegan.Irubbedmyhandacrossmyforehead.
“Yeah,what?”Kaitpressed,hernailsclickingonthetopofmycubiclewall.
“Hetoldmethathe’dnevergetmarriedorbeinaseriousrelationshipbecausehis

parents have gone through so many marriages that he thinks it’s meaningless.” It

wasn’tverbatim,butKaitwasmakingmesweat.

“Amommycomplex,huh?”shesaid,andIdidn’tcorrecther.“Nice,Ilikeit.That’s

something we can probably use. Make sure you stay on him, okay? Get all you can
beforehegetsboredofyou.”

“MaybeI’lltakehimtothedrive-in,formyotherpiece,”Isaid,kindofthinking—

dreaming—outloud.

“Don’tgetthetwoconfused,Sophie,”Kaitwarnedmebeforewalkingaway.
I wanted to text Leo right then and prove Kait wrong, that it really was his phone

number,andhehadmadeaninnocentmistakeinnotgivingittome.Itwasn’tabout
control,notlikethat,anyway.

I sat back in my chair, feeling nauseous about what I’d just told Kait about Leo’s

family.It’snotlikehe’dtoldmeitwasasecretoranything,Itoldmyself.Besides,Istill
hadn’ttoldanyoneaboutthescreenplay.

Ilookeddownatmyphone,temptedtotextLeorightthenandproveKaitwrong,

thatIdidhavehisnumber,thatonethingabouthimwastrue.ButthenIworriedabout
lookingfoolishtoLeo,botheringhimduringwork,andrightafterwe’dspentthewhole
weekendtogether.Ididn’twanttolookdesperate.

Theweektrudgedon,andIdidhearfromLeoagain—intheformofmessengered

versionsofU

NTITLED

RMSTRONG

.Hedidn’twantanyofitsentthroughemail,tooafraid

that he’d get hacked and his secret project would be revealed. I’d mark up the pages
andsendthembacktohim,thenhe’dsendbacknotesonmynotes.I’dworkhalfthe
nightonrewritesonlytohavehimtellmetoconsiderthecharacterfromthisangle,to
lookatthescenefromthatperspective.Itwasnevergoodenough.

And then I’d go to Crush and there was Kait, breathing down my neck for more

gossip of Leo. She was insatiable, practically foaming at the mouth for any negative
wordonLeo.

“It’sbeendaysandyouhaven’tevenspokentohim?”shesaid.
“Idon’twanttopushhim,”Isaid,whichwaspartlytrue.
“Don’tyoudarelethimslipaway.”
WhichwasthelastthingIwantedtodo.ButnotforthesamereasonsasKait.
AfewdayslaterIgotanemailfromPam,subjectline:Story
Needdrive-instoryforNewGirl.Whenwillitbedone?
IquicklywrotebackthatIwasworkingonitandwouldhaveittoherinafewdays.

Isenttheemail,knowingtimewasreallyticking,andIhadtogetonit.

Her reply came back swiftly: Make sure it’s a date piece. Take romantic type with

you.

Shecertainlydidn’twastetimewithherrequests,Ithought.Heremailsreadmore

liketextmessages.

The writing of the story wasn’t a big deal. I was looking forward to it. But the fact

thatIneededadatewaswhatgavemepause.Inacityfullofgorgeousmen,finding
onetogooutwithmeseemeddaunting.

Ihadtheupcomingweekendtogetitthearticledone.Ithoughtaboutaskingoneof

the other girls in the office to set me up with someone for the drive-in. I couldn’t go
backtoAvaMarie,thatwasforsure.Tostall,Iwenttothewebsiteforthedrive-inthe
seewhatwasplayingthatweekend.WhenIsawthemovie,mystomachdropped.

DeadPoetsSociety.
Like it was meant to be or something. How could this movie be playing after Leo

andIhadtalkedaboutitsorecently?AndrightwhenIneededtodotheNewGirlstory
for my column? I became excited by this sign from the dating gods, and with little
more thought than that, grabbed my phone and texted Leo—or at least the number
he’dgivenme.Finally,I’dfindoutifitwasrealornot.

DeadPoetsSocietyplayingFridayatdrive-ininSilverLake.Gowithme?
I sent the message and held my breath. Nothing came back saying it was a bum

number,soitwentthroughtosomeone.NowIjusthadtowaituntilheresponded—
howeverlongthatmightbe.

Turnedoutitwasn’tbutacoupleof(excruciating)minutes.
Sure.Meetatmyoffice.
Okay,soitwasn’tenthusiasticorwarmandfuzzybutitwasayes,andthat’sallthat

mattered.

“Whoisthat?”avoiceovermycubiclewallsaid.Ijumped,notexpectingsomeone

tobelurkingovermyphone.

“Oh, hey, Alexa,” I said, turning to look at her. She nodded back to my phone,

waitingforananswer—totallyannoying,bytheway.ShewasinontheLeostory,andI
thoughtthatmaybeopeninguptohermighthelpusbecomecloser.Istillfeltlikesuch
anoutsideratCrushandwaseagertoconnectwithsomeofmyco-workers.

“Actually,”Isaid,loweringmyvoice,“it’sLeo.”
“Noshit?”shesaid,raisinganeyebrow.
“He’smydrive-indatethisweekend.”
“Yourdate?”Alexasaid.“Uh,yousureaboutthat?”
“What?”Iasked,feelinglikeabugunderhersharpgaze.
“Nothing,” she said, backtracking. “Take Leo Armstrong to the drive-in. Whatever.

Just make sure he stays in the car. You don’t want to create a stampede with people
spottinghimatthesnackcounteroranything.”

“Right,”Isaid.“Thanks.”
“Havefun,”shesaid,walkingaway.
Itwasgoodadvice—Icouldn'taffordtobespottedoutinpublicwithhim,lestpeople

findoutwhoIreallywas.ButwhydidAlexa’swarningfeelmorelikeathreat?

Iwasbeingparanoid,Itoldmyself.Everythingwouldbefine.

C H A P T E R 1 5

arrivedatLeo’sofficeandparkedmycarintheundergroundgarage.Iwasfullof
nervous energy, an army of butterflies fighting in my stomach. I was excited to

seeLeoagain,butfeelingalittleshyattheprospectoftakinghimonadate.Inpublic.
We’donlybeenoutatrestaurantsofhischoosingsoI’dalwaysfiguredinthebackof
mymindthatifsomeonesnappedapictureofus,Icouldn'tfeelguilty—orbeblamed.
Butnowitwaslikehewasonmyturf—alandscapeIhardlyknew.

I was escorted into his office by one of his assistants—I think he had four, but I

couldn’t be sure. Most of the vast office was empty, it being late in the evening on a
Friday.

“This place is a regular Fort Knox,” I said, taking in Leo’s expansive office with a

killerview.“Ihadtogothroughfourgatekeepers,akeycard–protectedturnstile,anda
metaldetector.”

“Peoplewanttostealideasasmuchastheywanttostealmoney,”hesaid.
“Iguesstheideasaremoney,huh?”Isaid,settingdownmybag.
“Andalotofmoneyatthat,”hesaid.Finally,hiseyestookmein.“Sowe’regoingto

watchthismovie?”

“Yes,”Ilaughed.
“AndI’mexpectedtowatchamoviesittingnexttoyou,inacar,wearingthat.”He

steppedcloser,stoppingjustfromme,hishandstuckedsafelyinhispockets.

“What’swrongwiththis?”Isaid,lookingdownatmycut-offshortsandtanktop.I’d

decidedtoforgoanyCrushclosetclothesandoptedformyown,pickingoutsomething
Iwouldwearonacasualoutingwithanormalperson.Noneofwhichwastrue,butI
wastryingnottooverthinktheevening.

“Absolutelynothing,”Leosaid,“ifyouwantmyhandsalloveryouallnight.”
“We’rewatchingthemovie,”Isaidfirmly.Hegroaned.
The woman who led me into Leo’s office stuck her head in the doorway. “Do you

needanythingelsefromme?”sheasked.

“No, thanks, Elaine. See you Monday. You can close the door,” he added. Once

Elaine had gone, the door firmly closed, he turned back to me, his eyes blazing with
desire.

Heclosedthesmallbitofspacebetweenus.Heslidhishanddownthefrontofmy

shorts, grabbing hold of my crotch and pressing his fingers into me. I sucked in a

breath,myeyesfallingshut.

“Didyouthinkwearingthesewouldkeepmefromyou?”hesaid,dippinghishead

closetomyface.“Didyou?”

“No,”Ibreathed,ashishandcontinuedtomoveslowlyacrossme.
“Ididn’tpayyou,”hesaid,pushingonmynowwetpussy,“nearlyenoughattention

thisweekend.Iintendtomakeupforthat.”Heguidedmebackwarduntilthebackof
mylegshitthearmchairinthecorner.“Sit.”Idid.Henudgedmyshouldersback,then
pulledmyhipsdownlowerontheseat.

Hestartedbykissingthetopsofmythighs.Myheartraced,seeinghimdownonthe

floor in front of me. I reached for his head to run my fingers through his hair; he
caughtbyhandwithhislips,kissingme.Hiseyesfoundme,thelustinthemclear,and
IthoughtI’dcryoutbeforeanythingreallystarted.Hemademybodyfeelasifitwere
floating.

His hands continued on my thighs, his palms running flat across them, kneading

themandmakingmesquirm.Heunbuttonedmyshortsandslowlypulledthezipper
down. I lifted my hips, moving myself a little closer to his face as he slid the shorts
downtothefloor.Hemovedforwardandcoveredmythighswithkisses,hishandsall
over me, on my hips and up my stomach, over my breasts. My eyes fell shut, and I
couldn’tsitstill,movingmyselfclosertohim,desperateforhimtotakeme.Whenhe
pressedhislipsonmypelvisandIgroaned.Hekissedmethere,andthenunder,right
where I was soaked the most. I begged him, desperate for him to take down the last
scrap of fabric separating us. I already pictured his mouth there, and flashed back to
the plane, when I had him fully in my mouth. My jaw went slack at the memory. I
wantedhimtotakeme.

“Impatient,arewe?”hesaid,asmiledancingonhislips.
“Yes,”Ibreathed.“Please.”
HetookthefabricofmypantiesandIliftedmyhipsagain.Ahintofshynesscrossed

me,beingnakedfromthewaistdownwithLeoonhiskneesinfrontofme.ButifIwas
shythen,itwasnothingwithwhathedidnext.

Leotookmylegundermykneeanddrapeditoverthesideofthechair,openingme

uptohim,fullyexposed.IhopedIdidn’tdisappointhim,butthenonelookathisface
showedmehewasmorethanpleased.

“God, you’re beautiful,” he said, my sex clenching for him, teased out of its mind

withhislipsandtonguebeingsoclosebutnotyettouchingme.Hestartedhiskisses
againontheinsideofmythighs.Mylegsseemedtohavemindsoftheirown,spreading
wider,showingLeomoreofmyself.Andthenhewasthere,histonguesendingquick
flicks over my nub. I cried out. The need for more was almost unbearable. I looked
down, and seeing his face between my legs was the sexiest sight I’d ever seen in my
life.

Leomoanedasheranhistongueovermywetness.Ifeltdizzy,myheadswirling,

my body unable to do anything but move in the direction of Leo’s mouth. My hips
gently rocked as his tongue explored me, gliding over me as I thought I’d lose
consciousness.Hemovedslowlyovermyopeningandbackuptomyclit,histongue
making gentle work of it as I moaned, hoping it never ended while desperate for the
release he’d soon give me. His tongue became more pointed as he moved in quicker

motionsovermyclit,andmybreathcameinshortgaspsintimetotheflickingofhis
tongue.Withnowarning,heflattenedhistongueanddroveitinlonglicksuptheentire
lengthofme.Ibreathedout,revelinginthesensation.

Myhandmoveduptomybreasts,massagingthemthroughmyshirt.Leonoticed

andmovedhisownhanduptheskinofmystomachandovermybra.Igentlyputmy
handontopofhis,lettinghimmoveattheperfectpacewhileIsatback,alongforthe
ride.Whenhesuckedonmyclit,mybreathcaughtandIknewIwasclose.Mygroans
wereloudenoughtobeheardoutsidehisofficedoorandIhopedeveryonehadreally
left for the evening because I was only getting louder as he continued his gentle
sucking and licking of me. With my eyes closed, I reached down to him, pushing his
headcloserintomeasIsuckedinair,everyfiberofmybodyripplinguntilIfeltmyself
explode,releasingtheairfrommylungs,starsburstingbehindmyeyes.Leograbbed
mybuckinghips,holdingmedownashepressedhisfaceintome,makingsureIrodeit
outaslongaspossible.

WhenitwasoverIcollapsedbackintothechair,everyounceofenergyspent,my

eyesclosedandlimbslimp.Leokissedmythighs,goingbacktowearhestarted,butit
feltsweetthistime,gentlypullingmebacktoreality.

“Nowthatthat’sdone,”hesaid,“Imightbeabletoconcentrateonthemovie.”
“You’reawful,”Isaid.“AndwhenIsaythatImeanamazing.”Asmileplayedonmy

lipsasIopenedmyeyes.SeeingLeothere,asatisfiedlookonhisface,mademefeel
warmandhappy.

“I’m going to go change,” he said, nodding toward a bathroom door on the other

sideofhisoffice.“Canyoumanagetopullyourselftogether?”

“Ihaveabetterchanceifyou’renotkneelinginfrontofme,”Isaid,restingahand

ontopofhis,restingonmythigh.

“Thisisthebestplaceintheworldtobe,”hesaid,makingmegroanwithpleasure.

Finally,hestoodupandwenttochange,andIgotmyselfdressedagain.Whenhecame
backhewasmorecasuallydressedinjeansandapoloshirt.

ItoldLeoI’ddrive.Eventhoughthedrive-inwasforastoryforCrush,Iwanteditto

belikeitwasadate.Leohadpaidforeverythingsofar—thedinnerandallthetake-out
food he’d had delivered to the beach house—and I wanted to put in my fair share as
well. He’d asked me if I was working again next week, and it took me a moment to
realizehemeantthetempjob.AstabofguilthitmeasItoldhimthatyes,itwasback
tothegrindworkingreception.

We took the elevator down to the parking garage and I led us to my car, a little

HondaAccordthatwasonlyslightlyrustyaroundtheedges.

“No,” Leo said suddenly as I unlocked my door. He stood at the bumper as if an

electricforcekepthimfrommovingcloser.

“What?”Iasked,confused.
“Thisiswhatwe’reridingin?”
“Comeon,”Isaid.“Noteveryonecandriveafancycar.”
“Exactly,”hesaid.“Soifyouhaveone,youshouldtakeitoutasoftenaspossible.

Comeon.”Hebeganwalkingbacktothegarageelevator.

“Areyoukidding?”Isaid.
“Notintheslightest,”hesaid.

Ishookmyheadandfollowedhim.“Youareasnob.Totalandcomplete,stuck-up

snob.”

He punched the button for the elevator. “Fine. I’m a snob. But I also have

standards.”

“Uhhuh,”Isaid.“You’vealsoinsultedmycar.Iworkedreallyhardforthatthing!”
“How many phones did you have to answer to have enough money to buy that

thing?”heasked.

“Veryfunny,”Isaid,feelingthattwangofguiltagain.
“Mycarismorecomfortable.Andsafer,”headded.“PlusIlikedriving.”
“That thing you drove us in back from Malibu?” I said. Despite my intentions of

distractinghimonthedrivebackdownthecoast,thecardidnotfeelsafe.Anditwasn’t
thatIcaredaboutgoinginhiscar,exactly,butIhadwantedtosortoftakecontrolof
theevening,andonewayofdoingthatwasdriving.

“No,notthatcar,”Leosaid.“Ihavemyothercarhere.”
“I’msureI’llregretaskingthis,”Isaid,“buthowmanycarsdoyouhave?”
Hesmiled.“Several,”hesaid.“Butthisoneismuchmorecomfortable,Ipromise.”
“Fine,”Isaid.“ButI’mpayingforthemovieandfood.”

DRIVE

-inwasjustasIhadpicturedit,onabigemptylotwithcarslinedupneatlyin

rowswithalittleredshackofaconcessionstandattheback.Hiscar—amidnightblue
MercedesS-Classsedan—wasnottoomuchfancierthanmanyoftheothercarsthere.
Itdidn’tstandout,atleast.

Iwasnervousaboutwhathe’dthinkaboutamovieIlovedsomuch.Asitbegan,I

keptstealingglancesathimtogaugeifhewasenjoyingit.Hequicklyhadmedistracted
whenherestedhishandonmythigh.WhenIputmyhandonthesmoothskinofhis,
he flipped his hand over and clasped our fingers together. My heart skipped a beat.
Something about holding hands—despite all the far more intimate things we’d done
together,andtoeachother—madethingswithLeofeelsignificant.Official,maybe.But
itwasmorethanthat.IlovedbeingwithLeo.Beingnearhim,sittingbesidehim,feltso
normal and right that I’d almost forgotten that tongue-tied feeling I’d had at the
auditionthatfirstday.

Whenthemovieended,wedidn’tmove.Leosatstaringatthescreenasifitwere

themiddleinsteadofthecredits.Iletthesilencehanglikethatuntilthescreenfinally
wentblack,andwewerealmosttheonlyonesleft.

“Iguessthismeansyoulikedit,”Iventured.
“That,”hesaid,“wasamazing.”Whichmademeabsolutelybeam.“Thoseparents.

What dicks. When Todd Anderson’s parents sent him the desk set again for his
birthday…”

“Iknow!”Isaid,soexcitedhelikedit.
“Andthenhisroommate,what’shisname…”
“NeilPerry,”Isaid.
“…toldhimitwantedtofly.”
“Suchagreatscene,”Isaid.IfelthappinessbubblingupasIheardtrueexcitement

inLeo’svoice.

“AndNeil’sparents,”hesaid,hiseyesfocusedonnothingoutsidethewindshieldof

hisshinycar.“They’remiserablehumanbeingswhoinsistedonmakingtheirsonjust
asmiserable.Ithoughthewasgoingtoshoothisdadforawhilethere.”

“Yeah,butwhataboutlettingyourselfbefree,likeMr.Keatingencouragedthemall

tobe?Especiallycreativelyfree.Notlettinganyoneoranythingholdyouback?”AsI
saidthewords,Irealizedhowcloselyitallmimickedhislife—sanssuicide,ofcourse.

“Exactly,” he said. He finally turned to look at me, his eyes bright with thought.

“Thankyou,Sophie.Thankyouforshowingmeyourfavoritemovie.”

Ismiled.“Youlikedit?”
“Ilovedit,”hesaid.
Iturnedtobetterfacehim.“Soisthereanythingyou’dliketosaytome,then,Mr.

Armstrong?” I asked coquettishly. He looked at me curiously. “Something along the
linesof,‘Iwaswrongaboutthemovie,andyouwereright’?Ringabell?”

Heleanedacrosstheseatstowardme,lightlytouchingmychin.Iheldmybreathas

hislipsmovedclosertomine.Whenhekissedme,Ifelttheairrushthroughme,andI
wonderedifthefeelingwouldeverend.Icertainlyhopednot.Hepressedclosertome,
hishandslidingtothebackofmyneck,andIlovedthetasteofhim.Itallfeltsoreal
andsonormal,andIwantedthemomenttolastforever.

“Notachance,”hesaid,makingmelaughbutrollmyeyes.
“Theegoonyou,”Isaid.
“My place?” he asked. As usual, his kisses scrambled my mind so much that I

couldn’tspeaksensiblewords.AllIcoulddowasnodyes.

We were hardly off the elevator of his apartment before we were clawing the

clothesoffeachother.Itwaslikewewerestarving,andtheonlythingthatcouldfillus
up was each other. His mouth devoured my neck as his hands slipped under my
blouse,feelingupmyribsuntilhewasslidingitoffovermyhead,tossingitaside.My
mindbecamesofrazzledinthesemoments,notknowingwhetherIshouldgoforhis
shirtfirstandfeelthathard,strongchest,orgostraightforhispantsforwhatIreally
wanted.Istartedwithhisshirt,althoughIalmostrippedthebuttonsoffIwassoeager.

Leopausedandsteppedawayfromme,panting.Hislipswereredwiththeforceof

hiskisses,andIhadnodoubtminelookedthesame.Hetookmyhandandguidedme
up the curving staircase and into his bedroom. Windows surrounded the room, the
viewsimilartotheoneonthebalcony,directlybelowus.Hekeptthelightsoff,letting
thecity’sglowfilltheroomjustenoughtoseeeachother—toseehisever-hungrylook.

“You ever get lonely in this big apartment all by yourself?” I asked because,

honestly,theplacewasbigenoughforafamilyoften.

“I’mneverlonelywhenyou’rearound,”hesaid,pullingmetohim.Hisskinwashot

on mine, and I felt us melting into each other. My hands wrapped around to his
shoulderblades,feelingthemusclesdownhisback.Iranmyhandsoverthebackofhis
jeans,cuppinghisfirmassinmyhands,feelinghisstrengthwhereverItouched.

Leo suddenly picked me up and tossed me onto the bed—literally tossed me. I

laughedasIbouncedacrosstheoceanofsheets,butstoppedwhenhecrawledacross
the mattress toward me like a lion. He was on top of me in a flash, his strong arms
blockingmein,andIranmyhandsupthem,slowly,feelingeveryrippleofmuscle.He

leaneddownintome,andwhenourlipsmetagain,mybreathfinallycameback.

Even after what he’d done to me earlier that same evening in his office, I needed

more.Ialwaysneededmoreofhim.IwasstartingtorealizeIneededallofhim,allthe
time.Heseemedtofeelthesame.Webothrippedoffourremainingclothes,andthen
Leograbbedmyhipsandpulledmedownclosertohim.Inquicktimeheslidintome,
makingmegaspwithpleasure,andashethrustinandoutofmehekepthiseyeson
me, never looking away. I was mesmerized by the beauty of those eyes and by the
perfectfeelingofLeoinsideofme,movingandfillingmeandmakingmefeellikeat
any moment my entire body might explode with satisfaction. He continued his
thrustinguntilwewerebothsweating,myhipsangleduptowardhim.

“Leo,comewithme,”Isaid,becauseIwassoclose.
ButhestoppedandflippedmybodyoveraseasilyasapancakeuntilIwasonmy

stomach. He never left my body. He took my hips again and pulled me up on my
knees,thengentlypushedmyshouldersdownuntilIwasassup.Ashebeganmoving
againthenewsensationmademecryoutanew,theangleofhisdickpushingdownon
myclit.IbeggedLeotopushharder,godeeper,getmoreofme,andhecomplied.

“Sophie,”hecriedout,agruntmixedwithpassion,andheexplodedinsideme.Ifelt

someofhisjuicesrundownmylegs,andIkeptpushingbackintohimtogeteverylast
drop.

Afterward,astheworldcamebackintofocus,wesettledonthepillowsandunder

thesheetsproperly,facingeachother.Leohadalittlegrinonhisface,andIstrokedhis
sharp jaw, feeling the stubble touching his smile. I ran my fingers through his hair,
which made his eyes fall slowly shut. He whispered my name, and in that moment I
feltpossiblymoreconnectedtohimthanIhadwhenwemadelove.Myheartachedfor
him.Ifeltthosethreelittlewordsdeepinmychest,beatinginsidemeasclearlyasmy
heartthumpedathiseverybreath.

ButIdidn’tdaresaythem.Ididn’tknowwhattodowiththewords,butIheldthem

tight. When Leo pulled me close so that my head was nestled in his neck, I had this
comfortingsensationthathefeltit,too.Thenagain,itmighthavejustbeenahealthy
doseofwishfulthinking.

“What are you thinking about?” he asked me. I gave a little laugh. God, no way

wouldtellhim.

“Nothing,”Isaid.“You.Justwonderingwhenyou’regoingtogettiredofme.”
Hekissedmyforehead,hisarmholdingmeclose.“Never,”hesaid.Iranmyhand

overhisstomachandribsandsqueezedhimtight.

We talked for an hour. Not about anything special, just our lives. Leo told me he

aboutthehugepremierehehadcomingup,andthathewasconcernedaboutcritics’
responses to his latest film. I told him about Delaney and her custard empire, which
madehimlaughwhenIputitlikethat.Hesaid,inalazyway,thatsheshouldcometo
L.A.andopenupashophere.“We’llflyherout,”hesaid,andthatwegotmeagain.I
realizedIwasonthehuntforanylittlesignthathefeltformelikeIdidforhim.There
weresignsbuttheyweresmall,andalwaysIhadKaitinmyear,convincingmethathe
saidthesethingstoallhisgirls.

Inhisbedthatnight,IpushedthoughtsofKaitaside.ImadeplanswithLeo—anew

restaurant to try, an overnight trip to Catalina—and only once did I think about the

ending.Orhowhetoldmethat,whenhewalksaway,hedoesn’tlookback.Weheld
eachotherclose,andeventually,wefellsleep.

C H A P T E R 1 6

stayeduplateSundaynighttowritemydrive-instory.WhenIfinishedatthreein
the morning, I felt really proud of what I’d written. My first piece for Crush

magazine, and it was a fun, flirty story about an old-fashioned date. Naturally, I left
Leo’s name out of it, but I was sure it’d make the magazine’s readers want to try out
movie-watching from the front seat of their cars—or the backseat, if the movie was
boring.

I emailed it to Pam so she’d have it as soon as she arrived at work on Monday. I

certainlydidn’twantherhavinganynewammoonmebyturningitinlate,orevenon
time, considering what a bulldog she’d been about being the one to edit it. I was
actually excited for her to read and edit it. I felt like I’d learned so much from Leo
aboutwritingandcreatingstoriesthat,eventhoughthiswasanarticleandnotastory,
I’dbeenabletousehisinsighttomakeitbetter.Plus,IwelcomedPam’sconstructive
criticism. Everyone said she was a really strong editor, and I wanted to be the best
writerIcould.

Monday morning I didn’t even make it to my desk before Kait was screaming my

name,callingmeintoheroffice.

Isteppedinside.
“Closethedoor,”shesaid,notlookingatme.Ididasshesaid,feelinganepic-sized

boulderinmystomach.

“Iwenttothedrive-informyNewGirlcolumnthisweekend,”Isaid,becausesurely

that’swhatshewaspissedabout.

“Iknowyoudid.AndIbetIknowwhoyoutookonthatdate,”shesaid,andslapped

aprintoutonthedeskinfrontofme.Ipickeditupandsawadark,grainyphotooftwo
peoplesittinginsidealuxurysedan,parkedatadrive-inmovietheater.

“Isthatyou?”Kaitasked.“Itlookslikeyou,andit’sdefinitelyhim,butthosearenot

ourclothes.”

RMSTRONG

POTTED

ITH

YSTERY

OMAN

“NeedIremindyouthatyouareundercover?”Kaitsaid.“Ifthepaparazzifindout

that you’re a writer with Crush magazine then the whole thing is over. Do you get
that?”

“Yes,” I stammered, holding the picture in my shaking hands. The picture showed

Leolookingme,smiling.Itwasrightbeforeheleanedacrossandkissedme.Ihadlost

focusonthestoryandnowthewholethingwasabouttoblowupinmyface.Whatif
Leohadseenthis?WouldhethinkIwasjustwithhimforpress?

Christ,Ithought.MaybeIdidhavethetwoconfused.
“Iknowyou’vebeenoutwithhiminpublic,butthatwastohisplacesthatheknows

—andIknowhowpeopleinthistowncanbribeanyonefromarestaurantmanagerto
the busboy to keep their mouths shut about their celebrity clients,” Kait continued.
“Butyoutookhimtooneofyourplaces—andonassignmentforthemagazine.Ican’t
evenbegintoknowwhatyouwerethinking.Sowhatarewesupposedtodowithyour
drive-in story? Run it with this picture? Jesus, Sophie.” She sat back in her chair,
exasperated.

“I’msorry,”Ibegan,andmyvoicewastrembling.God,ifIstartedcrying…
“Yourstoryisscrapped,”Kaitsaid,swiftly,likethedropoftheguillotine.“Weneed

toknowtheimpactofthisphoto.We’llhavetowaitacoupleofdaystoseeifthepress
picks up on who you are because I guarantee you, they’re digging right now. You’re
lucky you weren’t in your own car. Someone would have run your license plate
throughtheDMVtofindout.Nottakingyourowncaristheonlythingyoudidright.”

Ifsheonlyknew.Icouldn’tbelievesuchagreatnighthadturnedouttobesucha

disaster.AndwhataboutLeo?MyphonewasinmybagatmyfeetandIwasitchingto
checkit,seeifhe’dtextedme.Ihadtomakesurehewasn’tmadaboutthephoto—to
seeifheevenknewaboutit.IalsohadtomakesureIdidn’tlosemyjob.

“I’llfixit,Ipromise,”IsaidtoKait,butshequicklycutmeoff.
“I’mheretotellyouhowtofixit,”shesaid.“Getyourphoneoutandtexthimright

now.”

Ididn’tdaretellherthat’sexactlywhatIwantedtodo.Except,ofcourse,Iwould

havepreferredtodoitaloneinmycubicle.Ihesitatedforamomentbeforereaching
downintomybag.

“Text this,” she began. “‘Still thinking about you. Dinner tonight, question mark.

Yourchoice.’Yougotthat?”

I was sick to my stomach, but I wrote the words. My thumb hovered over S

END

MaybeIcouldgobacktomydeskandwritewhatIwantedtowrite.Askhimifhewas
okay, or maybe write a joke, like, The name is Nuwanda. He’d get it. I wouldn’t even
havetoremindhimaboutDaltonfromDeadPoetsSocietysayingit.

I realized that Leo Armstrong and I had inside jokes now. That’s how close we’d

become.Realclose.Trueclose.Notscamming-for-a-storyclose.

“Sophie,”Kaitsaid,pullingmeback.“Sendit.Letmesee.”Sheheldoutherhandlike

ateachercheckingherstudent’swork.Itwashumiliating.

Ididn’twanttolosemyjob,andreally,thetextwasharmless.Justacheck-inwith

Leo.SoIhitS

END

andshowedmyphonetoKait.

“Good,”shesaid.“Iwanttoknowwhenhewrites,whereyou’regoing,andwhathe

says.Understood?”

“Sure,”Isaid,completelydefeated.
“Nowgo,”shesaid,andturnedawayfromme.
WhenIgotbacktomydesk,Pamwasjustwalkingaway.Sheturnedbackwhenshe

sawme.

“Thereyouare,”shesaid.“IwasupearlysoIreadyourroughdraft.Imadeafew

marksandsuggestions.Leftitonyourdesk.”

“Thanks,”Imuttered,lettingtheroughdraftremarkslideby.Sheknewitwasthe

finalversion.“IthinkKaitisactuallyputtingitonhold.Fornow,anyway.”

A tiny smirk crept up her mouth. “Yeah, I know. But I figured you could still use

somehelpinthewritingdepartment.Betterlucknexttime,kid,”shesaid,andwalked
away.

On my desk I found bloodied pages. She went old-school with a red pen and

everything. She’d crossed out half my lines and the ones she left had things like
Really??inthemargins.

Itwastotalcrap.Shemayaswellhavetakenherredpenandstabbedoutmysoul.
NextIgotavisitfromAlexa.
“So,”shesaid,“Iguessyoudecidedtotakehimtothemoviesafterall,huh?”
AlexahadstartedtocautionmeabouttakingLeoonmyNewGirldate,butthenhad

pulledback.

“IsupposeIshouldhavelistenedtoyou,”Isaid.
“Yeah. It’s so weird how the paparazzi just seem to know where to find the

celebrities,isn’tit?Evenwhenthey’reatatotallynewplace.”

She looked so satisfied that I felt like I knew—she had made some phone call and

toldphotographerswherewe’dbe.Alexahadsetmeup.

Ifeltlikeeveryoneintheofficewasagainstme.
Itwasn'tuntilalmosttheendofthedaythatLeotextedmeback.
Myapt,8.
That’sallitsaid.Ihadnoideaifheknewaboutthepaparazziphotoandifso,ifhe

was mad about it. He couldn't be, right? He was photographed all the time with
beautifulwomen.Hecouldn'tavoidit.Aslongashedidn’tknowwhoIreallywas,Iwas
sureI’dbefine.

When I reported the night’s date at his place to Kait she didn’t look pleased or

annoyedoranything.Allbusiness,outtogetLeoArmstrong.Ikindofwishedshe’dyell
atme—thequietfuryterrifiedme.

“Iassumehisbuildinghasadoorman?”sheasked.
“Ithinkso,”Isaid.There’dbeenmanyuniformedpeopleinthelobbyeachtimeI’d

beenthere.

“Talktohim,”shesaid.“Doorman,concierge,whoeveristhere,orboth.Theysurely

haven’t signed confidentiality agreements. Get some dirt from them—how many
different women he’s brought home, if he has several women at once, any women
coming by late at night alone, someone who could be a prostitute. Oh, grow up,” she
said, probably noticing the shocked look on my face at having to find out if Leo had
prostitutesvisitinghisapartment.“Ishouldn’thavetotellyoutodothesethings.You
shouldknowtodothemonyourown.Don’tletusdown,Sophie.Getthestory.”

Withthat,Iwasdismissed.

C H A P T E R 1 7

walkedacrossthelobbyofLeo’sapartmentbuildinglaterthateveninginayellow
cotton sundress and flats of my own. Kait had thrust another cleavage-baring

dressandsky-highstilettosatme,tellingmethewearthemtonight,butI’dleftthemin
thebackseatofmycar.Ididn’twanttowearherclothesanymore.

I stopped at the desk—they needed to unlock Leo’s private elevator to let me up

once they’d okayed it with a quick call to him. As I waited for Ernie—the same guest
manager,ashewascalled,whohadbeenthereontheothernightsI’dcomeby—tocall
Leo,Idrummedmyfingers,tryingtopullupthenervetoaskErniethequestionsKait
wantedanswerstoforthe story.Partofme stillwantedtodomy job,anddoit well.
TheotherpartofmewasstartingtothinkitwassortofgrosstotrytoexposeLeo,and
forwhat?Datingotherwomen?Hewasallowedtodothat,justasIwasallowedtosee
othermen—ifIknewany,orhadanyhintofdesire.Asitwas,Leowastheonlyperson
whoheldanyinterestforme.HewasallIcouldsee.

AsErniepickedupthephonetocallupstairs,Isaid,“Ibetyou’redoingthisallthe

timeforhim,huh?”Igavealittlelaugh,likeIwasinonthejoke.

Ernieheldupafinger,andsoonhewastellingLeothat“MissAdams”wasthereto

seehim.WhenhehungupandtoldmeIcouldtaketheelevator,Igaveitanothertry.
“IbetI’mnotthefirstgirltotakethisride,amIright,Ernie?”Icringed,hearingmyself.
Iwasworthless.Iwasn’tsureifIdidn’twanttobeareporter,orifIdidn’twanttobe
thatkindofreporter.

“Haveagoodevening,miss,”Erniesaidwithasweetsmile,hislipsfirmlyclosed.
If I were Kait, I’d have him telling me all the girls’ names along with their date of

birthandsocialsecuritynumbers.Shewascutthroat.Shewasgood.

Therideupintheelevatorwasnerve-wracking,wonderingifLeowasangryabout

the photo getting out. One look at his face waiting for me down the hall told me the
answer—noway.

“Theresheis,”hesaid,hisgrinaswideasever,andIcouldn'tcontainmyown.My

face instantly broke into smile at the mere thought of Leo these days. He was the
anecdotetoallbadthingsinlife.Ihadtoholdmyselfbackfromrunningstraightinto
his arms, especially how gorgeously charming he looked in a dark gray T-shirt and
jeans.

WhenIgottohim,Ithrewmyarmsaroundhisneckandpulledhisbodycloseto

mine,holdinghimtight.Hisarmswerearoundmywaist,gentlycaressing.

“Bad day at work?” he asked, and I held him tighter. I didn’t want to talk about

work.IfeltdisgustingfortryingtopressErniefordirtonLeo—howeverpoorlyIhad
done on that investigation. “You look beautiful,” he said, looking me over. “Temping
must pay pretty well.” He kissed my lips, and I reached up quickly to touch his face,
makethekisslastlongerthanapeck.Iheldhimclose,feelingthesoftnessofhislipson
mine,takinginthescentofhim.

“Comeon,”Leosaid,gentlylettingmego.“Ihavegoodnews.”
He led me across the expansive floors of his giant home, the beautiful nighttime

viewofLosAngelesflickeringoutsidethewindows.Wewentpastthecurvingstaircase
tohisoffice,wherehesatmedownonabuttontuftedbrownleathersofa.

“Here,” he said, his tanned face beaming as he handed over a bonded stack of

papers.ThatfamiliarcoverpagethatsaidU

NTITLED

RMSTRONG

.“It’sourscreenplay,”he

said. Our screenplay, I repeated in my head, as Leo continued. “It’s finished. The last
round you sent me really got it where it needed to be. Sophie,” he said, sitting down
nexttome.“I’mgoingtomakethismovie,andit’sallthankstoyou.Icouldn’thave
doneitwithoutyou.”

“Ididn’tdomuch,”Isaid.“You’retheonewhopushedmeintherightdirection.
“Don’tdothat,”hesaid,takingmyhand.Hekissedmyfingers,hisbreathwarmon

myskin.“Don’tdeflectacompliment.Youearnedeverybitofpraiseforthis.I’mgoing
tostartcastingthisweek.”

“Really?Thatfast?”
“Whynot?I’vebeenwantingtodothisforsometime,andnowthatthescreenplay

iscompletedIdon’twanttowaitanylonger.I’mgoingtocastunknowns,filmitunder
theradarandreleaseitinafewmonths.Everyonewillbeshocked,”helaughed,“that
shallowLeoArmstrongcanmakeamoviewithnoaliensorcarchases.”

“Don’tyoudothat,”Isaid,puttingmyotherhandoverhis.“Don’tconcernyourself

with what other people think, and don’t diminish the movies you do make. You
provide a great escapism for people, and God knows we all need that from time to
time.”

“How’dIgetsoluckytofindyou?”hesaid.Heheldmychindelicatelyinhisfingers,

andpulledmybottomlipdownwithhisthumb.Heleanedintomeandgentlypressed
his lips to mine, sliding his hands across my face. He held me there as he kissed me
softlyatfirst,andthenmoredeeplyuntilthetasteofhimhadmeyearningformore,so
quickly.Truthfully,allittookfromLeowasalookandIwasagoner.Whenhekissed
me, I had no hope of resisting. I ran my hands over his strong chest, feeling the
musclesbeneathhisT-shirtbeforemovingtohisarms,flexingashemovedhishands
acrossmyshouldersandback.Hepulledmeintohim,ourchestspressedtogether,our
breathalreadyheavywithdesire.Idelightedinmytongueonhis,tastinghim,feeling
himonme.

“SophieAdams,youdon’tknowwhatyoudotome,”hesaidbeforecrushinghislips

backintomine.Ikissedhimback,butthesoundofmyfakenamehadcaughtmeoff-
guard once again. I took his chiseled jaw in my hands and moved away, both of us
panting. When he moved to go back to my lips, I pushed him back. He gave me a
curiouslookandIansweredbyslidingawayfromhim,slightly,keepingmyhandson

hishandsomeface.Hedippedtowardmeagain,hislipseagerformine,butInudged
awayagain,andthistimeIslidbackintothearmofthecouch,justoutofhisreach.

His eyes gleamed with desire as he watched me. When he reached out for me, I

movedmylegup,pushinghishandbackwiththetoeofmyshoe.

“Not yet,” I said, and a low growl came from Leo. I’d never had someone so

attracted to me—in so many different ways—that he actually growled without even
touchingme.Islippedmyshoesoff,lettingthemdroptothefloor,andthenIpulled
thehemofmyskirtuptojustbelowmyhips.Leo’seyesweretransfixed,hislipsparted
andhisskinflushed,allatthesightofme.“ShowmewhatImakeyouwanttodo,”I
said. He let out a moan and practically lunged for me, but I stopped him again. “No.
Stayonyourside.Allthewayback.”Hereluctantlysatbackagainsttheoppositearmof
thecouch,onelegonthefloor,theotherbentinfrontofhim.Iopenedupmylegsand
reachedbetweenmythighs,rubbingtheoutsideofmypanties.Hisbrighteyesstared
hypnotizedasImadeslow,deliberatecirclesaroundmyclit.

“Youaresosexy,”hesaid,hiseyesfixedonmycrotch.“Youexpectmetosithere

andkeepmyhandstomyself?”

“Iexpectyoutokeepyourhandsonyourself,”Isaid,andIhadnotideawherethe

braverycamefrom.I’dcertainlyneverdoneanythinglikethatbefore.AllIknewwas
thatIwantedtokeepmyeyesfirmlyonLeoandwatchhiseverylustfulexpression.

“Takeoffthosesweetlittlepanties,”hesaid.
“Take off your clothes,” I countered. He didn’t even hesitate, standing up and

quicklydiscardinghisshoes,socks,shirtandjeansontothefloorbesidehim.Hetook
his place back at the end of the couch, never once taking his eyes off me. I never
stoppedtheslowmovementsofmyhandonmycrotch.Icouldfeelthroughthethin
fabrichowwetIwasasIranmyfingersdownmyslit,thewallsofmypussyaching.

Leostrokedtheoutsideofhisboxerbriefs,claspingthehugebulgeofhisdickinhis

palm.

“Sophie,” he said, his eyes heavy. I watched with fascination as the muscles in his

armmovedandflexedintimewithhishandstrokinghisdick.“Nowyou.Takeoffyour
clothes.”

I gave myself one more long, slow pass over myself, watching Leo as his jaw

clenchedashestruggledtobreathnormally.ThenIstoodupandpulledtheshoulders
ofthedressdown,pastmyarmsandovermyhipsbeforesteppedoutofit.Istartedto
sitbackonthecouchwhenhecommanded,“Allofit.”

Ipaused,mythumbshookedintothedelicatefabricjustbelowmyhips.“You,too,”

Isaid.

Leo stood up, his chiseled chest puffing up with each deep breath he took. He

shoveddownhisboxerbriefsandkickedthemtotheside,andmyownbreathcaught
inmythroat.I’dseenhimnaked,butneverstandingbeforemelikesomeGreekgod
statue. His dick stood tall and angled toward me, as if it knew where it needed to go.
Leotookitinhislarge,smoothhandandgavehimselftheslowestpullthatIthought
my knees would buckle. My sex clenched with total need—for that cock to be inside
me. But I held back. I lowered my soaked panties down my legs and stepped out of
them.AgutturalsoundcamefromdeepinLeo’sthroat,andhetookthesmalleststep
towardme,butIsteppedback,lettinghimknownotyet.

“You’rekillingme,”hesaid.
“You,” I said, taking in his entire body from top to bottom, “are perfect.” The

muscles in his thighs looked like their own continent, and his six-pack stomach
clenchedharderwitheverybreathhepulledin.Hecontinuedtoworkhiscockinhis
hand,themusclesinhisarmshowingeveryperfectlymoldeddetail.Iwasn’tsurehow
muchlongerI’dbeabletoresist,buttryingwashalfthefun,Irealized.

We both sat back on the couch, opposite ends and facing each other. Leo left one

footonthefloorandIhadbothmyfeetonthecouchinfrontofme.Hishandneverleft
hisdickashewatchedme.Itiltedmyhipsup,feelingmyselfclenchwithwant.SlowlyI
openedupmyknees,lettingmyselfspreadoutbeforehim,givinghimaperfectviewof
mypink,wetpussy.

“Oh,mygod,”hemoaned.
Islidmyfingerovermysoakedwalls,upandaroundthehardnibofmyclit.Ikept

myfingerthere,dancingincirclesasmybreathbecameshallower.Imovedmybody
downalittlefurtheronthecouch.Leowatchedasmyfingersmoveddownonesideof
my pussy and back up the other. He swallowed hard, his eyes laser focused on my
everymovement.Myfingertracedtheedgeofmyopening,dippingtheverytipofmy
fingerin.Hishandstoppedmoving,andsodidI.

“Ifyoustop,Istop,”Isaid.
Helookedatme,andhishandstartedagain,pullingonhisenormousdick.Hiseyes

weredarkashelookedatme,andforamoment,hiseyesclosedandhisheadfellback,
hishandmovingupanddown,upanddownonhislong,gloriousdick.

“Ididn’tstop,”hesaid.“Openyourlegsmore.Showme.”
I did as he asked, spreading them wider, feeling no shame at being so exposed in

frontofhim.Hischestroseandfellindeepbreaths,hisdesireformemakingmeeven
wetter than I thought possible. I teased myself, my fingers circling my hole, feeling
myselfclench,wantingtobefilledwithanythingforthemoment.Islowlydippedmy
fingerin,asiftestingthewaters.Leo’smouthfellopenalittlewider.Ipulledmyfinger
out,pumpeditafewtimesinmyselfbeforegoingbackinagain,soakingmyfingerto
theknuckle.Pullingitoutagain,Iaddedafinger,openingmyselfupmoreastheywent
in. I let out a moan, biting my lip. My fingers went back in and out, pausing only to
circlethehard,desperatenubofmyclit,spreadingmyjuicesalloverit.

“God,Iwantmymouthrightwhereyourhandis,”hesaid.“Iwantyoutofuckmy

face,Sophie.Comeoverhereandfuckmyface.”

Thatdiditforme.Iwascrawlingacrossthecouchtowardhim,hiseyessohungry

onme.Istoppedonlytobenddownandlickthefulllengthofhiscock,andthegroan
heletoutwasanearscreamformercy.Iputonekneetothesideofhim,againstthe
insideofthecouch,andmyotherlegIpulledupandrestedonthearmofthecouch
behindhishead.Myachingpussywasrightinhisface,andhetookmyassinhishands
andbroughtmetohismouth.

Hegavealong,deliberatelickacrossthefulllengthofmysex,groaningashewent.

Helethistonguecirclemyclitandthecriesescapedme.IknewIwasn’tgoingtolast
long.Iheldontothebackofthecouchandpushedmyhipsintohisface,hisgroaning
urgingmeon.Histonguereachedinsideme,goingsodeep,movingsofarinsideme.I
saw nothing but the blackness behind my eyes. Everything on my body was numb

exceptthefeelingofhismouthonme—allthebloodinmybodywentstraightformy
most sensitive part. Leo lapped up my considerable juices as if it were the most
delectable treat in the world. When he sucked on my clit, I thought the world might
explode.Mystomachclenchedinasmyhipswentclosertohisface.Iheldontothetop
of his head, his dark hair clenched in my hand. I groaned and screamed with zero
inhibition as he continued to work me, bringing me so much closer with every lick,
everypull,everygroanfromhisownthroat.IwasfallingquicklyovertheedgeandI
heldtight,myheadtippingbackasmyhipsbuckedontohisface,hismouth,hisperfect
tonguethatknewexactlywhatIneeded.FinallyIwascrashingover,myskintingling
andstarsburstingbehindmyeyes.Itwentonforseveralmoments,thatsensation,and
Irodeittotheverylastdrop.

Mybodybegangoinglimp,ashekissedmystomach.Islidfurtherdownhisbody,

leavingawettraildownhischest.

“God,” I moaned, still unable to open my eyes into the aftermath of something so

spectacular.Imovedmylegdownfromthearmofthecouchandputmykneeonthe
other side of Leo’s body. He took my breast in his hand and kneaded it, rubbing it
passionately.Hismouthwascoveringmynippleinnotime,hismagicaltongueteasing
myhardnipple,bringingmebacktothedeepwant,theneedmybodyhadtoconsume
moreofhim.

Leoranhishandovermybreastand,lookingupatme,said,“Youdidn’tthinkIwas

donewithyou,didyou?”

He took my hips in his capable hands and moved me down his body. I reached

betweenmylegsandtookhisdickinmyhands.Heheldmealoft,justoverhim,andlet
me pull him up and down, my hand wrapped firmly around him. He kept his heavy
eyesonmine,hishotbreathcoveringmyface.Iguidedhimtowardmyholeandhe
movedmyhipsrightthere,rightabovehim.Heletgoandwaitedformetodotherest.

Islowlysliddownhisengorgedcock,bothofusgroaningashestretchedthewalls

ofmyslickpussy,stuffingmefull.Isatonhim,Leo’sentiredickupinsideme,letting
myselfstretchtohisthickmember.

He wrapped his arms around my waist, hugging me tight to his chest, my bare

breastsagainsthisskin.Thewayheheldme,Ifeltasifhecouldneverletmego.

Slowly he rocked his hips, moving me back and forth. I was at the point where

havinghimfullyinsidemewasn’tenough—Iwantedmore.Ipushedmyhipsdownon
his,grindingonhiminanefforttogeteverylastbitofhiminsidemybody.Weheld
eachothertight,movingslowly.

Leo’sarmheldmybackashequicklymovedourbodies,stillheldtogetherasone,

totheflooroftheoffice.Thechangedpositiongavemybodynewthrills.Irealizedthat
theonlythingbetterthanLeo’sfacebetweenmylegswashisfacelookingdownatme,
watchingmeashemovedinandoutofme,savoringeverysecondofpleasure.

Hiseyesonmefromtheanglemademefeellikehecouldseeallofme,andIfelt

flushunderhisscrutiny—evenmorethanwhenmylegswerespreadbeforehim.The
lookhegavemewasfarmoreintimatethananythingI’dexperienced.

“Sophie,”hesaid,breathingoutmyname.“Ican’tstopmakinglovetoyou.Idon't

wantanyoneoranythingotherthanyou.Ican’tstop.”

Icriedoutashemovedharderintome,hisfacecontortingbuthiseyesalwayson

me.Imovedmykneesouttothesideasfarastheywouldgo,andhetookthemboth
and pushed them up by my shoulders. The sensation filled me as I arched my back,
concentratingonthepoundinghegaveme,movingfasterandfaster,allwhilekeeping
thoseseablueeyesonme.

Feeling him, seeing the look in his eyes, it was almost more than I could bear. I

reachedupforhim,clawingathischestandthroat,wantingeverypartofhim.Isatup
onmyelbows,theangleofhiminsidemepushingrightwhereIwantedit.WhenLeo
came,Icameagain,withhim,bothofuslookingintoeachother’seyes,keepingthem
wideopenaswecriedout.Finallyhecollapseddownontopofme,andweheldeach
otherasourheartsslowedtheirbeating.

ForamomentIfeltshy,abitrattledaswepickedourclothesoffthefloorandgot

dressedagain.Leohadasatisfiedgrinonhisface,andIwantedtorushbackintohis
arms.IwantedtotellhimIlovedhim.Theemotionswashedovermewithundeniable
force.Myheartwantedtosaythewordstohim,butmymindheldmeback.

He’dmadelovetome.He’ddoneit,andhe’devensaidthatitwasreal.AndIwas

moreconfusedthanever.

Worse,IrealizedIwastotallyinlovewithLeoArmstrong.Iwasinlovewithaman

that everyone in the world knew as The Panty Dropper. What was I supposed to do
withthat?

Oncedressed,Leotookmyhand.“Wantsomethingtodrink?Water,wine?”
“Water,”Isaid.
Isatonthecouchoutinthelivingroom,lookingoutthewindowatthetwinkling

view.LeobroughtmeaglassofwaterandItookasipandsetitonthecoffeetable.

IdecidednowwasagoodmomenttobringupmynewstatustoLeo.
“Didyouhearthatit’sofficial?”Iaskedashesatdownbesideme.“I’mnowknown

asLeoArmstrong’smysterywomen.Mypicturewasuponlineyesterday.”

“That grainy thing?” he said. “That was nothing. Doesn’t bother me. How are you

feelingaboutit?”Hetuckedmyhairbehindmyear.

Ishrugged.“Idon’tknow.It’sweird.”
“Those tabloid vultures trying to get a piece of my private life,” he said with clear

disdain. “We can be more careful, if it makes you uncomfortable, but I try not to let
themrulemylife.”

“No,it’sfine,”Imumbled,asenseofextremeguiltpiercingthearmorofmychest.I

was one of those tabloid vultures, as much as I didn’t want to be. And here he was,
tryingtooffermeprotectionfromtheverythingI’dbecome.

“Comehere,”hesaid,pullingmeclosetohim.
Myheadrestedcomfortablyonhischest,mylegwrappedoverhis.Hebrushedmy

hairoffmyforeheadandkissedmethere,somethinghe’ddonebeforeandthatIloved
somuch.Isnuggledinclosertohim.

“Youshouldcomeovereverynight,”hesaid.
“Icancomebacktomorrownight.”
“Come back every night,” he said. Leo kissed me again and whispered, “Stay

tonight.”

Iwantedto,witheveryinchofmybeing.Ididn’twanttoleavehisside.ButIknewI

neededtogethome.IwantedtostayinthefoggyafterglowoflovemakingwithLeobut

Ineededtostepoutandclearmyheadandfigureoutwhat,exactly,Iwasdoing.My
feelingsforhimhadclearlygrownintosomethingthatfeltunstoppable,andIhadto
figureoutwhatthatmeantintermsofmyjob—andmyentirelife.

“I’mgoingtogohome,”Isaid.“Butnotrightnow.Thatokay?”
Hesqueezedmetightandsaid,“Stayaslongasyoulike.”
Weendedupinhisbed—sleeping.Ourbodiestangled,ourfacesclose,breathingin

eachother.I’dneversleptsopeacefullyinmylife.LittledidIknow,itwasallaboutto
change.

“

C H A P T E R 1 8

t’sbeenlongenough,”Kaitsaid.“Timetowrite.”

“Yeah, sure,” I said, scrambling through the papers on my desk to find the

drive-instory.Forthepastcoupleofweeksatwork,Kaithadmedoingtotallow-level
work—coming up with cover lines, writing the snappy one-lines in the table of
contents, and fact checking beauty product spellings. “I still have Pam’s notes. I can
polishwhatIhavewithhermarksinmind.”

“What are you talking about?” Kait said. She always spoke to me like I was her

younger,annoyingsister—theoneshehadabsolutelynolovefor.

“MyNewGirlstory?Thedrive-inpiece?”
“Itoldyou.That’sscrapped.”
“ButIthoughtsincenoone…”
Sheleanedclosertome.“TheLeostory.Jesus,theonethingI’veaskedyoutofocus

on.Ournextissuegoestopressattheendoftheweeksoit’stimetogetallyourlittle
notesandmementosandwhateverelseyou’vebeensaving,andwritethestory.”

“Does this story have to be for this issue? Can’t it go in a future edition?” I asked,

hoping against hope for a reprieve, a pardon from the warden. Anything to stop this
fromhappeningrightnow.

Kait gave me a death glare. “I know you’re stalling, Sophie. But it’s become more

thancleartomethatwhateverlittlegrainsofinformationLeoArmstrong’sgivingyou
are not improving with time. He’s obviously grown bored of you, he’s stringing you
alongandthere’snothingtoholdoutfor.”

“I’m doing my best,” I say, my tone more defensive than I intended it to be. Of

course,itwasalie.Ihadn’tdonemybestforKaitandthemagazine—I’dleftoutallthe
juicystuffandtriedtoprotectLeofromtheirpryingandpoking.

“Igetthat,”shesaid,evenmoreannoyednow.“Andsowemightaswellworkwith

what we have. I want all that crap about blocking his number from you and his sad
storyaboutthewomeninhisfamilymakinghispoorlittleheartsocold.Givemethree-
thousandwordsinthreedays.Anddon’tscrewitup.Anyquestions?”

All I could do was sit slack-jawed and shake my head no. No questions, unable to

process…

“Anddon’tforgettosendmeyourcoverlinesuggestionsandtableofcontents,”she

said,andturnedandwalkedaway.

ThatnightIsatinmybedroomwithmylaptop,staringattheblankpage.Leowas

theonlythingIwasthinkingabout.Ihadenterednearobsessivelevelsofhavinghim
onmymind.

But the man on my mind was not the same man Kait and others had warned me

aboutforsolong.

TheLeoonmymindwastheguywhopickedthepinenutsoutofmysaladbecause

Iwasallergic.TheLeowhowhosehandinstinctivelydriftedtomelikeamagnetwhen
hewasn’tevenpayingattention,justreadingemailsonhisphone.TheLeowholooked
atmelikeImattered.

He’d taken me to his favorite Mexican restaurant the other night and when I told

him I’d never been out of the country he’d immediately gotten on his phone. “I’m
takingyoutoMexico.”

“Now?”I’dlaughed.Mycheekswerewarmfromthemargaritas—andthesmoking

hotcompany.

“Hey,whynot?”hesaidwhiletypingsomethingonhisphone.“No,I’mgoingdown

inacoupleofweeks.Alittlebreakbeforewestartfilmingourmovie.”

Ourmoviemeanttheonewe’dworkedontogether,andthatstillboggledmymind.

“Areyouserious?”Isaid.

“I’llhaveElainebookaticketforyou.Youhaveyourpassport?”
“Wait, slow down,” I’d laughed. “I can’t just go to Mexico.” Although, I’d thought,

Kait would probably give me the time off if I told her what I was doing. But I didn’t
wanthertoknowwhatIwasdoing.Ididn’twanttogotoMexicoforKait.Iwantedto
goforLeo,andforme.

“Ithinkthetempagencycanlivewithoutyouforafewdays,”hesaid.“Besides,we

needtocelebratethegreatworkyoudidonthescreenplay.Comewithme.”Hiseyes
hadahopefulglowtothemashewaitedformetosayyes.

“It’sjustatriptoMexico,notamarriageproposal,”he’dsaidsaid.“Elainewillhelp

expediteyourpassport,ifthat’swhatyou’reworriedabout.Shots?”

“You’regettingmedrunk,”I’dsaid.
“That’sokay,”he’dreplied.“It’spracticeforMexico.”
Forhim,everythingwassoeasy.Hejustboughtit,demandedit,orhadhisassistant

Elainedoitforhim.Peopledidwhathewantedthemtodo—includingme.Whenhe
smiledatme,Imelted.

Who wouldn’t want to live such a charmed life? So far, I’d seen no misogynistic

behaviorfromhim.AllthethingsKaithadbeenrantingaboutforweekshadn’tbeen
myexperience.Ididn’tknowifshewascrazy,orifhewasjustdifferentwithme.

As I sat staring at my blank document on my computer in my bedroom, the

doorbellrang.AvaMariewasatagig,soItrudgedouttoanswerit.

Amessengerhandedmeapackagewithmynameonit.Iopeneditupandfounda

whitebikiniwithfunlittlepalmtreesoverthebreasts.Acardinsideread,Youwearing
thiswillbethebestviewinallofMexico.

Of course, it was my size. He knew my body well enough, I supposed. I certainly

knewhis.Ishivered,thinkingaboutthesmoothskinonhisarms,therippledmuscles
ofhisabs.Thewaytheleftsideofhismouthcrookedupalittlehigherwhenhesmiled
thanhisleft.Ifellasleepatnightthinkingaboutthoselips.

Idriftedalonginahazeforthenexttwodays,knowingKaitwasanxiouslyawaiting

myarticle.ThedayitwasdueIthoughtbrieflyaboutcallinginsick.Imayhavebeen
nervous,butIwasstillreadytofaceher.Atleast,that’swhatItoldmyselfasIsatinthe
crushingL.A.trafficonmywaytowork.

AsIwalkeddownthehallsofthemagazine,Ifeltlikealleyeswereonme.Pamshot

mealookfrominsideherofficeasIwentby.

Kait was in meetings all day, which made the pain of waiting for her ten times

worse.Ihadnoideawhatwasgoingtohappen,butIknewitwouldn’tbegood,andas
thehourstickedbymyimaginationbecamemoreoutrageous.Bythetimeshefinally
calledmeintoherofficeatnearlysixo’clock,Iwasabundleofnerves.

Itookadeepbreath,gatheredmystrength,andsteppedinsideKait’soffice.
“Idon’thaveanyemailsfromyou,”shesaid,hereyesonhercomputer.“Where’s

thestory?”

IbracedmyselfbeforeIsaid,“Ididn’tdoit.”
Kaitcuthereyesupatme.“Excuseme?”
Stillstandinginthedoorway,Ishiftedmyweight,tellingmyselftoholdsteady.“I

didn’tdoit.Ithink…Ididn’treallygetanydirtonhimanyway.”

Kait’seyesdidn’tmovefrommine.Herjawwastight,andshelookedcoiled,likeshe

wasreadytospringacrossthedeskformythroat.

“You’re telling me that, the assignment I gave you that could launch your career

youjustdecided,screwit,Idon’tfeellikedoingit?”

“No,Kait,it’snotthat.”
“We go to press tonight. You better get your ass back to your desk right now and

startwriting,”shesaid.“Andyoubetterhopeyourfingerscantypefastenoughbecause
ifIdon’thavethatarticleinmyinboxbynineo’clocktonight,youcankissyourcareer
goodbye.”

“What if we did the article showing the other side of Leo Armstrong, the one that

goesagainsthisreputation?”Itried.I’dthoughtofthatasIsatintraffic,mystomacha
gurglingmessofnervesonmywayin.Iknewitwouldn’twork,butIhadtotry.Iwas
sinkingfast.

“Ican’tbelievewhatI’mhearing,”shesaid.“AfterallI’vedoneforyou?Igaveyou

your start in this field. Do you know how many girls wish they had your job? How
many girls wish they’d been given free rein of the Crush fashion closet to pick out
anythingsothattheycouldlookgoodontheirdateswiththeLeoArmstrong?Doyou
getthat?”

“AndI’msoappreciative,”Isaid.
“Hehasgotyousofooled,”Kaitsaid,shakingherheadindisgust.“Pamtoldmenot

to trust some young, naïve girl like you and she was right. That man has got you so
fooled into thinking he actually cares about you. I don’t know whether it’s sad or
patheticorboth.Sophie,”shesaid,leaningforward.“Listentomecarefully:Hedoesn’t
care about you. No matter what he’s said to you in those quiet little moments in his
high-rise apartment, he doesn’t care about you. All he cares about is using you. He’s
beenusingyouthiswholetime.Doyougetthat?”

“Maybe you’re right, Kait, but I don’t know why you hate him so much and why

you’reouttogethim.He’snotthemanyouthinkheis,hehasn’ttreatedmebadlyand

Iwon’tsaythathehasjusttomakeyouhappy.”

Shekepthergazeonme,andIrefusedtolookaway.
“Ifyoudon’twritethatstory,”shesaid,“youcankissyourjobheregoodbye,andI

promise you that there will be no other jobs to come. Los Angeles is a much smaller
townthanyoumightthink.”

I’dconsideredthisallday.Kaitwasn’tthetypeofwomantoletanyonetellherno.

Hearing her say the words, though, still shocked me. I paused, wondering for a
moment if I was prepared to do that—to give it all away and maybe get nothing in
return.

“Youknow,”Isaid,“whatyoudon’tunderstandisthatLeo’snottherealuser.You

are.”

WiththatIturnedandleftKait’soffice,pausingonlytograbmybagfrommydesk

asImarcheddownthehalls.Theothereditorshadapparentlybeenstrainingtolisten
andtheyallstoodattheedgeoftheircubiclesandofficesasIwalkedoutofCrush.

Ididn’tcareabouttheirsnidefaces(Alexa,Bethany)ortheirvictoriousgrins(Pam).

Ionlycaredaboutonething—tellingLeothehardtruth.

C H A P T E R 1 9

leaseanswer,IsilentlyprayedasIsatinmycaroutsidetheCrushoffices—where
my career had just been crushed—and listened to the ringing of Leo’s phone.

Finally,thankfully,heanswered.

“Hi!Leo!”Isaidwithalittletoomuchpep.
“Hey, beautiful,” he said, making my heart sing. “How are you? Yeah, that tie is

fine,”hesaidtosomeoneelse.

“Youbusy?”Iasked.
Hechuckled.“Onlyalittle.TheTriggerHappypremiereistonight.”
“Oh,right,”Isaid.“Iforgot.”
TriggerHappywashisbiggestprojecttodate.He’dmentionedtheproblemswithit

in passing. The co-stars hated each other, the director couldn’t control them, and the
weather never cooperated. But tonight, all that would be put aside as the movie was
finallyreleased,andIknewLeowasreadytohopefullythrowasuccessfullaunchand
putthegossipintherearviewmirror.

“My car is here,” Leo said. “I’m going in the elevator so I might lose you. Did you

needsomething?”

Histonewasn’tunkind,justdistracted.Ididn’twanttolosehim,intheelevatoror

anywhere else. I had to see him and tell him the truth about everything before he
foundoutfromsomeoneorsomewhereelse.Kaitwassurelyrightwhenshesaiditwas
only a matter of time before reporters found out who Leo’s mystery woman was. I
couldn’tlethimfindoutfromanyonebutme.Ihadtotellhimthetruth,andhopethat
hecouldsomehowforgiveme.

“Ihavetotalktoyoutonight,”Isaid.“Whereisthepremiere?”
“AtGrauman’sChineseonHollywoodBoulevard,”hesaid.
“CanImeetyouthere?”Iasked.
“Soundsimportant,”hesaid.“LikeIsaid,I’mleavingnow.I’llhaveElaineemailyou

apasssoyoucangetin.Goodluckwithparking,though.It’llbeanightmare.”

Ididn’tcareaboutseeingthemovieorwhereI’dparkmycar.Ijusthadtogetto

Leo,andfast.

Ofcourse,there’snothingfastaboutdrivingthroughL.A.intheheatofrushhour

traffic. The whole drive over I tried to stifle the voice in my head that told me I was
crazyforeverythingI’ddonesincethedayIarrivedinthecity.ButIhadtobelievethat

therewassomethingrealwithLeo.Wehadn’tjustbeenfoolingaround.

Thingshadchanged,atleastforme,anditwasmorethanjustphysical.ItwashowI

feltwhenIwasaroundhim—content,atease,happy,blissfuleven.Thewayhelooked
atmehadchanged,too.WhenLeolookedatme,Ifeltlikehewasseeinginsideofme,
atthepersonIwasandtryingtobe.

Ofcourse,Ihadn’tbeentruthfulanditwasanuglysideofmethatIwasnowdeeply

ashamed over. The opportunity to be a journalist had brought out a weakness in me
thatI’dneverknownexisted.Iwassickwithguiltoverit,buttriedtopushitawayasI
finallyexitedthe101FreewayatHighlandandturnedontoHollywoodBoulevard.

Thescenewasamadhouse.Theroadwaspartiallyclosed,forcingmetoturnonto

anotherstreet.Icouldn’twastetimesearchingforaparkingspotthatIwassuredidn’t
existsoIpulledupatarestaurantandtossedmykeystothevalet.Iheardhimyellat
me about only customers being allowed to valet there, but I was off and running
towardthetheater.

Therewerehundredsofpeoplecrowdingthestreetinfrontofthehistorictheater.I

tookoutmyphonetotextLeotoseewherehewas.InsteadIfoundatextfromAlexa.

Thoughtyou’dwanttoknow.Kaitdidn’tevenneedyoutowritethearticle.She’sbeen

keepingyournotesandemailsalllongandjustassembleditforaCrushexclusive.;)

IclickedonthelinkandittookmetothefrontpageoftheCrushwebsite.
E

XCLUSIVE

RMSTRONG

’

OMANIZING

AYS

XPOSED

MyheartracedasIscannedthroughthearticle,whichwasshortandendedwiththe

teaser,Readthefullstoryinournextissue!

Insteadofbeingwrittenbymyperspective—thereporter—Kaithadswitcheditupa

bit.

“Armstrong took Sophie as his carry-on as he flew up to Seattle for on-set movie

trouble,andrefusedtoevenletherde-boardtheplane.Shewasrelegatedtobeinghis
in-flightentertainment...”

“…keptashortleaseonouryoungSophie,refusingtogiveherhisphonenumber

even after several dates—dates which were carefully planned to include only the
restaurantswherehewasabletobribetheentirestaffintosilenceofhiseveningwith
yetanotheryoung,trustingwomanonhisarm.”

“…useshisgrandparentsasanexcusetoavoidcommitment…”
MyhandshookasIreadthewords.IknewKaitwaslowandcutthroat,butIdidn’t

knowshe’dspinthingsthisbadly.Shewasevil,plainandsimple.Iknewshewasoutto
getLeobutwhydidshehavetothrowmeoutaswell?WhathadIdonetomakeher
hatemesomuch?IlookedthroughthecrowdtoseeifIcouldspotLeo.Theonlygood
thing was, he was surely too busy on the red carpet, posing with his stars and
answering questions from entertainment reporters to see this bombshell on some
women’smagazinewebsite.

I’d only seen movie premieres on television and had no idea they were such

frenzied, screaming affairs, and I’m not just talking about the fans who were pinned
behind riot gates across the street. As I got closer I could hear the reporters yelling
questions,jostlingeachotherandcamerasflashing,anditwasallconcentratedinone
spot,ononeperson—LeoArmstrong.

“Whereisshe?DidyoubringSophieScotttonight?”

“What do you have to say about your so-called mystery girl writing an exposé on

you?”

“Didyouusethesametacticsontheotherwomenyoudate?”
“HaveyouspokenwithSophieScottsincethestorycameout?”
Theuseofmyrealnamemademerealizeitwasallhappening,andtheyknewwho

I was. I stayed laser-focused on getting to Leo, whose tight smile showed me that he
wasjusttryingtogetthroughthisthing,andsafelyinsidethetheater.Imovedtothe
side of the crowd, hoping to catch him and pull him into some relative safety on the
sideofthebuilding.

Myheartwentouttohim,butmyheartwasalsobreakingatthesametime.Why

hadithappenedthisway?Whyhadn’tIjusttoldhimeverythingsooner?

Hemoveddowntheredcarpetswiftly,andIcouldn'thelpbutnoticehowbeautiful

helookedinhisperfectly-fittedtux,hishaircombedbackbutthewavesstillthere.The
screamingreportersandflashinglightscouldnotpullmeoutofmygoalofgettingto
him, talking to him and trying to explain things. Even as they screamed his name
mixedwithmyrealname,IrefusedtobelieveI’dlostmychanceuntilIwasface-to-
facewithhim.SoIslippedthroughtheedgeofoneofthepolicebarriers,suckingmy
stomachintofitthrough,andstoodonmytoestotrytogethisattention.Onlyinstead
ofLeo’sattention,Iattractedtheattentionofthereporters.

“Theresheis!”
“It’sSophieScott,LeoArmstrong’smysterywoman!”
“Thewomanwhoexposedhistruths!”
Well,thatgotLeo’sattention.
Whenhesawme,oureyeslockedastheyellingandflashingcontinuedallaround

us. Soon they were on both sides of me, surrounding me, screaming my name and
shovingtheircamerassoclosetomyface.Ifeltlikeafoxtrappedbyhunters.

Leo moved swiftly toward me, pulling me close as he ushered me toward the

theater. My hand covered my face the flashes, and he kept me close to his body
protectively, my head against his chest, his hand on mine. As we raced through the
safety of the door, I realized that he did care about me. The minute he saw me, he
wantedtoprotectme.Iwouldbeabletoexplaineverything.

The metal door we’d gone through banged shut behind us. Leo immediately

releasedmefromhishold.Ipushedmyhairbackandtriedtogathermyselfandcalm
myracingheart.

I’dneverbeenpublicallypersecuted,anditwasnotaneasyride.
OnceI’dfinallytakenabreath,IlookedatLeo,whostoodawayfromme,leaning

againstthewall,hishandsnowsafelyinhispockets.Hedidn’tlookatme.Hekepthis
eyesfirmlyonthemulti-coloredpatternofthefloor.

“Leo,” I said, stepping toward him. He stiffened, standing up straight. When he

lookedatme,thoseeyesthatI’dgrowntolovesomuch,lookedasifIwereascuffon
thetoeofhiscustom-madeshoes.Idisgustedhim.Mypresenceannoyedhim.Worse,I
wasnothingspecial.MychinquiveredasItriedtoholdmyemotionstogether.“I’mso
sorry.Iwantedtotellyou.Icameheretotellyou.”

“Tonightyouwantedtotellme?”hesaid.
“No,”Isaid,flustered.“Iwantedtotellyousooner,weeksago.Ishouldhave.Ijust…

IwasafraidandI…”

“Afraid?Ofwhat?”hepressed.“Ofme?Didyounottrustme,Sophie?Becauseguess

what?Itrustedyou.”

Tears slipped down my face, and I quickly brushed them away. He didn’t want to

see me sobbing over the terrible things I’d done to him. I needed him to know the
truth.

“Ididn’twritethatarticle,”Isaid.“Youshouldatleastknowthat.Igotfiredtoday

becauseIwouldn’twriteit.”

“You wouldn’t write it but you had no problem doing all the research. Is that

supposedtomakemefeelanybetter?”

“No. Leo please,” I said, and I could see it, right before me. This man I’d grown to

lovewasslippingthroughmyfingers—gonealready,infact.Icouldseeitinhiseyes.I
had betrayed him, and he could never trust me again. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.
Honestly. What I felt for you was real. I’ve been struggling with this story thing for
weeksandIknowIshouldhave—”

“I don’t need to listen anymore,” he said, his voice as cold as the cemented

footprintsoutsidethetheater.“Igetit,Sophie.Noneedtoexplain.It’sfine,really.This
isL.A.andI’musedtohavingwomenuseme.Men,too.Everyonewantstobearound
mejusttocreatesomeattentionforthemselvessotheycansaytheyhungoutwithLeo
ArmstrongorarefriendswithLeoArmstrongorfuckedLeoArmstrong.NowIcanjust
add you to that list.” He turned and began walking down the long hall toward the
screeningareaaroundthecorner.

“Leo,please.Wait…”
He stopped, and the small, hopeful part of me thought maybe, maybe, he would

come back to me, pick me up in his arms, and tell me it was okay. Instead, when he
turnedtofaceme,totallyexpressionless,hesaid,“Congratulations.I’musuallybetter
atspottingusers.Butyouweregood.Youwerethebest,Sophie.”

Thistime,whenheturnedandwalkedaway,Iknewhewouldn’tcomeback.When

LeoArmstrongwasdonewithsomething,hemadeacleanbreak.He’dsaidsohimself.
Heneverwentback,neverstayedfriendswithex-girlfriendsoroldbusinessassociates.
Iknew,asheturnedthecornertotrytosalvagewhatwasleftofhispremiere,thatI’d
neverseehimagain.

C H A P T E R 2 0

hethingaboutlivinginacityforaveryshortamountoftimeisthatittakesno
timetopackupandgetthehelloutoftown.

AvaMariewatchedasIclosedthelastboxinmyroom.Everythingelsewasalready

onthelittletrailerI’drented,attachedtomycar,readytobehauledallthewayacross
thecountry.HardlyenoughdistancebetweenmeandthemessI’dmadeofmytimein
LosAngeles.

“Yousureyou’llbeokaydrivingbyyourself?”AvaMarieasked.“It’ssofar.”
“Yeah, I’ll be fine,” I said. “I need time alone, to think.” Five days on the road

travelingthreethousandmilesmightcomeclosetowhatIneededtoclearmyheadof
everything. Leo had put our relationship behind him and left me no choice in the
matter.

And by now, I knew that he definitely wanted me to put him in the past too—my

unansweredtextsandcallsprovedasmuch.

Ava Marie carried my bag as I carried the last box outside. She had a long day of

rehearsalsforatelevisionshowshe’djustbeencaston.Tomorrow,oneofherdancer
friends,Rosario,wasmovingintotakemyplace.EveryonekeptmovingalongwhileI
feltlikeIwasbeingpushedout.ButIguessI’ddoneittomyself.

Ava Marie gave me a hug at the curb. “You don’t have to go, you know. Don’t let

thateditorbitchrunyououtoftown.”

“I’m not,” I said. “I just need to get myself together. I might come back.” I didn’t

reallybelieveIwould.IwasalreadyseeingL.A.assomesortofblipontheradarofmy
life,amomentI’ddonesomethingwild—movedacrossthecountry,datedacelebrity
andhaditallblowupinmyface.

WEEK

laterIwasfallingintoanotherfriend’sarms—mybestfriend,Delaney.

“Screweveryone,”shesaid.“Ihatethemall.Whoeveryouwantmetohate,I’llhate

themtimesten.”

I smiled, wearily. The drive across the country had been more exhausting than

enlightening, although it had given me plenty of time to cry and cry without anyone
around to tell me to knock it off. Now I just wanted to crash into bed and sleep for

aboutayear.

IfI’dwastedmytimeinL.A.,Ididn’tintendtowasteitnowthatIwasbackhome.I

wasstartingoverattheripeoldageoftwenty-one.

IgotalittleapartmentinMechanicsville’shistoricdowntown,whichwastwoblocks

ofold,preservedbuildingsfromthe1930s.Whenwehadtourists,it’swheretheycame,
andDelaney’sfamily’scustardshopwasaprimedestination.Shewantedtohiremeto
dotheirmarketing.

“Youdon’tneedmarketing,”Isaid,sittinginhersecond-floorofficeabovetheshop.

“Everyoneknowswhoyouare.”IknewshewasjustofferingmeajobtobeniceasI
triedtosortmylifeout.

“Please,”shesaid.“YouthinkCoca-Colastopsadvertisingbecauseeveryoneknows

who they are? Plus, writing marketing materials and handling our social media is
basicallywriting,whichiswhatyoudo.It’salittleoffthepathofwhereyouwanttobe
butnottoofar.”

“I’m not even sure I want to write anymore,” I said, picking at the threads of my

shreddedjeanshorts.Nomoreslimfittingdressesandstilettosforme.I’dgonebackto
myroots,flipflopsandall.

“Don’tyoudaresaythat,”shesaid,leaningacrossherdesk.
“Youlookfancysittingatthisbigoakdesk,”Isaid,tryingtochangethesubject.The

archedwindowsbehindherdidlookprettycool,though,Ihadtoadmit.

“Plus,” she continued, ignoring me, “I’ll be down in New Hampshire more, and I

needsomeoneIcantrustlookingafterthingshere.You’dreallybehelpingmeout.”

“Takingovertheworld,onefrozencustardatatime,huh?”Isaid.
“Ifyouaskmyfather,thenyes,”shesaid.“Dadisbreathingdownmybacktomake

theNewHampshirestorebiggerandbetter.Hewantsittobeamodelforevenmore
expansion.”

I’donlybeenbackintownacoupleofdays,andIwasshockedathowdifferentlyI

saw everything. Not just the town—which felt claustrophobic—but even some of my
oldfriends,theoneswhostayedbehindbecausetheyloveditthereandwantedtoraise
theirfamiliesinaquietNewEnglandtown,wherealltheseasonswerepicturesqueand
everyeveningwassafeandquiet.Therewasnorisk,Irealized.Nothingtoshockyou
intotryingsomethingthatscaredyou,toforceyoutobeastrongerversionofyourself.
ButhadIreallychangedfrommyfewmonthsinL.A.?OrhadIsimplybeenburned?

“Hey,”Delaneysaid.“Comebacktome,daydreamer.Ican’thaveyouzoningouton

thejob.Thecustardmustbekeptfrozenatalltimes!”Shesmiledatme,tryingtokeep
myheadabovewater.She’dalwaysbeenmybiggestsupport,fromtalkingmeoffthe
ledgewhenIdidn’tgetintomyfirst-choicecollegetohelpingmegetoverPaul.Now,
hereshewasagain,throwingajobatmesimplytokeepmymindofftheonethingI
couldnotclearmyselfof—LeoArmstrong.

“Sowhatdoyousay?”shesaid.“Yougoingtohelpmeouthere?”
“Ofcourse,Delaney,”Isaid.“I’llhelpyou.”
“Yay!” she cheered, and decidedly un-boss-like move. I laughed. “It’s going to be

fun! We haven’t worked together since freshman year when we were scooping
downstairs.”

“Andyoushouldhavelearnedyourlessonthen,”Isaid.“RememberhowIsneezed

intothevatofthestrawberrycreamandwehadtothrowthewholethingout?”

“Dadwaspissed,”Delaneylaughed.“Healmosttookitoutofourpaychecks.”
“Youknow,Ihadlikefivespoonful’sbeforeItossedit.”
“Gross!”
“Itwasmyownsnot!”Isaid.“ButIgotbrainfreezesothejokewasonme.”
“Oh, remember the time I told Richie Reiner that frozen custard doesn’t give you

brainfreezeandthebestwaytoeatitwasreallyfast?”

Istartedlaughingagain.“Hewasinsomuchpain!”
We reminisced until Delaney had some conference call with the builder in New

Hampshire. I was sorry to leave—I couldn’t remember the last time I’d laughed that
hard.IcouldhardlyrememberthelasttimeIlaughedatall.TheonethingIwassure
of,though,wasthatitwasprobablywithLeo.KnowingthatthelasttimeI’dsmiledhad
beenatLeopulledmebackdown,evenasIcontinuedtofighttostayabove.

IwasdrowningandIknewit.Worstofall,Ideservedit.
Timemovedasitdoesinsmalltowns—slowly,andwithoutchange.Thejobreally

did help keep my mind occupied. It was easy and almost fun, but for the fact that
enjoying things was difficult for me. I took pictures of the custard, sometimes the
customers,andpostedthemtotheaccountsonline.Iwrotepressreleasesinthebuild
uptothenewshopinNewHampshire,andhelpedorganizeatown-widepartyforthe
shop’sforty-fifthbirthday.Delaney—andmoreimportantly,herdad—weremorethan
happywiththeworkIwasdoing.

“It’sluckyforusyoucameback,”Mr.Daysaid.“There’snowaywecouldhavedone

thiswithoutyou.”

I was pretty sure he was just being nice, but I decided to take the compliment.

Because slowly, life was becoming almost bearable again. I was smiling and laughing
more, even though sometimes it hurt to do so. I connected with some old friends I’d
losttouchwith.IhungoutatJoe’sTavernwithDelaneyafterwork,wherewe’ddown
beersandfriedclamsandtalkaboutitall.Slowly,IunfoldedthesordiddetailsofL.A.,
andDelaneylistened,neveroncejudgingmeforanythingI’ddone.

Itwasafinelife,evenifsomehowitallfeltlikeitwashappeningbehindapaneof

glass—asifitwasn’ttrulyhappeningtomeanymore.

But I’d accepted that this was my life, and I did my best not to wonder about Leo

anymore,nottothinkabouthim,orcry,orgooglehimandseethathislifecontinued
onwithoutme.

Until one rainy day, at the check-out line of the grocery store, I decided to buy a

gossip magazine. I’d steadfastly avoided them since leaving the west coast, but I
foolishlythoughtenoughtimehadpassedanditwassafetoindulgeinalittlemindless
gossip.

I didn’t see it until I was back in my apartment, soaking wet from the rain. I was

sitting in my favorite brown chair that faced the window, watching the downpour. It
wasasmallitem,buttheimpactwashuge.

AST

-T

RACKED

ECRET

RMSTRONG

ROJECT

ONGUES

AGGING

Leo Armstrong, infamous ladies’ man and head of Epix Studios, has already begun

principalphotographyonaclosely-guardedfilm.Theplotissaidtobecenteredarounda
powerful industry insider who is taken advantage of by a young, hungry reporter—

somethingthatallbutmirrorsArmstrong’sownexperiencewithformermagazineeditor
SophieScott,whofamouslydatedArmstrongaspartofasensationalundercoverstoryfor
Crushmagazine.Castandlocationareunderwraps,butwordisthefilmisslatedtohit
theatersinjusttwomonths.

Had I really thought Leo would sit back and let all of Hollywood laugh at him for

falling for girl like me? Did I really think he’d do nothing? He had said that when
somethingended,hewalkedawayanddidn’tlookback.Iguesshe’dchangedhisstance
—he could drop a grenade of revenge on me as he walked coolly away. And could I
blamehim?

“Weneedalcohol,”DelaneysaidlaterthateveningwhenIshowedherthearticle.

I’d spent the rest of the day online trying to find out more about the movie but got
nothing.Therewereadozenstoriesabouthowsecretitwas,andloosefactsaboutthe
plot, but it was mostly speculation on what I’d already read. When I saw a picture of
LeowalkingdownastreetinBeverlyHillswithacurvybrunettebyhisside,Iquickly
acceptedDelaney’soffer,andmetheratJoe’sTavern.

“Maybeitwon’tbeasbadasyouthink,”Delaneysaid.Wewerebelly-uptotheworn

bar,armsrestingonthedullbrassrailing.She’dalreadytoldmeaboutameetingshe
hadwithsomedairyfarmers,butsaiditwasn’tforanotherhourandshecouldtotally
doitbuzzed.“Themoviemightbesweet.”

“LeoArmstrongdoesn’tdosweetandhedoesn’tdohalfway,”Isaid,tippingbacka

shot of tequila. I cringed at the burn, chasing it with beer. I hoped to be numb, body
and soul, within the hour. “Chances are, it’s going to be worse than I can imagine.” I
wondered where he was right then, at that exact moment. It was the middle of the
afternooninLosAngeles.

A painful ache speared me and for a moment, everything around me seemed to

growdim,asifashadowhadbeenthrownovertheworld.Itriedtoblinkitaway,but
nowtheheavinessoflossandregretwasinfullbloomwithinme.

“Lookatitthisway,”Delaneysaid.“Ifhe’smakingamovieaboutyou,thatmeans

he’sthinkingaboutyou.”

“Horrible,terrible,evilthoughtsofme,yeah,”Isaid.
“He can’t get over you,” she pressed—unhelpfully, I might add. “He’s like, pining

overyou.Ithinkyou’relookingatthisthewrongway.Ithinkit’sagoodsign.”

“AndIthinkyou’redrunk,”Isaid.
AllIknewwasthatwaitingforthishorriblefilmtocomeoutwasgoingtobeworse

thananythingIcouldthinkof.IfLeoArmstrongwantedtotortureme,he’dcertainly
foundtherightwaytodoit.

C H A P T E R 2 1

twas two months later almost to the day, that I opened my mail and found an
invitationonthickcardstock.AtfirstIthoughtitwasaweddinginvitation.

ThelastthingIneededwastobearoundhappy,joyouscoupleswho’dfoundlove

andactuallynotscreweditupcompletely.

I’dactuallybeendoingagoodjobofstickingtomypromisetomyselfofstayingin

my lane, doing my job with Delaney, and not getting involved in any hometown
drama.

WhenIopenedtheinvitation,though,Leocameracingrightbackatme.Itwasan

invitationtothescreeningofhisnewmovie,AllForYou.

“Whywouldheinviteme?”IaskedDelaney.Iracedtoheroffice,invitationinhand,

soonasIsawwhatitwas.“He’sgoingtopubliclyhumiliateme,isn’the?”

“No, come on,” she said, examining the invitation as if it might hold the answer.

“He’saclassyguy.Hewouldn’tdothat.”

“Sowhy?”Ipressed.“Whyinvitemetothepremiere?”
Delaney dropped the thick invitation back on her desk. “I don’t know. But do you

wantmyopinion?”

“Always.”
“Don’tgo.Thepressknowswhoyouare.You’vebeenluckynoonewantstocome

way out here to the sticks to photograph you. But going to L.A., to this premiere, is
steppingdirectlyintothelion’sden.Haven’tyoubeenthroughenough?”

Shewasright.I’dsufferedenoughheartache,nottomentionpublichumiliation.Did

Ireallywanttogobackthere,butmyselfondisplaysimplytoberidiculed?Itwouldbe
stupidtogo.

Andyet.
I didn’t know what Leo Armstrong felt, about me or anything else. Maybe this

movie would show me how he’d felt about everything between us, even though I
wouldsurelybeavillaininthefilm.

ButIalsoknewthatpartofmypenanceforthewayI’dbetrayedhim—andmyself—

wastodothehardthingandshowupforthepremiere.Iwasn’tgoingtocoweraway
and hide from my past, I was going to face it and own the consequences of my bad
behavior.

“IthinkI’llgo,”Isaid,realizingasIsaidit,thatmydecisionwasfinal.

Delaneyshookherhead.“Youareinsane.Whatdidthatguydotoyourhead?”
“He twisted it in ways I never thought possible,” I said, and I meant it in the best

way.“Besides,IthinkIoweittohim.Iwastheonewhowasdishonestwithhim.Idida
terriblething.SotheleastIcandoisgobackandwatchthisfilmhe’smade.”

Crazyornot,Iwouldgo.IwouldgoandfacewhateveritwasLeoArmstrongfeltthe

needtosay—onfilm,noless.Whoknew—maybeitwastheclosureIhadn’tyetbeen
abletofind.Iwaswillingtofindout.

FELT

strangebeingbackL.A.WhenIfirstarrivedallthosemonthsago,I’dhadsuch

hope of starting my life, truly starting the excitement of a career I was sure would
skyrocket.Beingbackandseeingthecarsandpeoplebustlingabout,Ifeltasadnessof
being kicked out of the club, in a sense. I wished I could still be there, if only things
hadn’thappenedthewaytheyhad.

AvaMariepickedmeupfromtheairportandletmecrashattheapartment.Itwas

oddseeingsomeoneelse’sthingsinwhatIstillconsideredmyroom.Rosario,thegirl
whotookmyplace,wasathercateringjobwhenIarrivedlate,andAvaMariesetme
uponthecouch.

“Ithinkyou’redoingtherightthing,”shesaid,tossingapillowontotheendofthe

couch.“Ithinkit’llfeelgoodtofacehim,andfacethiswholeepisodeinyourlife.It’llbe
therapeutic.”

Iscoffed.“Doesmytherapyhavetobesopublic?”
“One of my friends who’s an actor said Leo Armstrong was really burned by the

wholething,”AvaMariereplied.

“SoburnedthatIsawpicturesofhimwithsomebombshellnotlongago.”
Ava Marie shook her head. “That’s not what I hear. I mean, supposedly he hardly

goesoutanymore.Hedoesn’tdate.Hejustworks.Andyeah,he’sbeentotallyfocused
onthismoviebutpeoplesayhe’sdifferentnow.”

“Differentgoodordifferentbad?”Iasked.
Sheshrugged.“Noidea.Anyway,Ithinkyou’rebravefordoingthis.Goodorbad,

whenyougetbackonyourflightintwodays,youcantrulyputitallbehindyou.”

Iseriouslyhopedshewasright.Buttheideaofseeinghiminthefleshagain,afterall

thistime,mademyheartacheandmystomachknot.

Iwantedtoseehimsobadly,butknowinghewouldonlyhatemewaslikeactual

physicalpain.Andtherewasnomedicationthatcouldtakeitaway.

ThedressI’dboughtfortheoccasionwasfromtheonenicestoreinMechanicsville

butitwaspretty,oratleastIthoughtitwas.Modest,notflashy,withafullskirt,1950s-
style,andahaltertop.Ididn’tknowwhatmessageIwastryingtoconvey—allIreally
hoped was that Leo might see it and remember that this is who I was. A simple girl
fromasmall-townwho’dgivenupeverythingforhim.

I took a car service to the theater. I’d learned last time that parking was a

nightmare.

AlreadyIwasgoingintothisthingwiser,orsoItoldmyself.
ItstartedassoonasIsteppedoutofthecarnearthetheaterentrancebutawayfrom

theredcarpet(nowaywasIwalkingthatthing).

Onceonereporterspottedme,theothersswarmedin.Microphonesandtelevision

cameras,photographerssnappingpictures,everyoneyellingmyname—itallgaveme
seriousflashbackstothelasttimeIwasatapremiere.

IhadmanagedtoescapeallofthiswhenI’dgonesofarawayfromLosAngeles,but

nowIrememberedthatinthistownIwasnotorious.

Leo was holding this premiere at a smaller, less assuming theater in Westwood

insteadoftheclassic,bigGrauman’sChineseTheaterofTriggerHappy.Thatmeantone
big,savinggrace—ashorterwalktotheentrance.IknewonceIwasinside,therewould
benomorecamerasorreporters,andIcouldletoutasighofrelief.

Camerasmayhavebeenabsentfrominsidethetheater,butitstillfeltlikealleyes

wereonme.IroamedthehallsasinconspicuouslyasIcould,lookingforLeo.Ididn’t
seehimanywhere,butIgotlotsofside-eyefromtheotherguests.

“Doyouknowwhothatis?”onewomansaidasIpassed.“It’sher.”
I tried to keep my chin up and not break into horrific sobs. I didn’t see Leo

anywhere—notevenElaineoranyofhisotherassistants.IwonderedwhatIthought
I’d say when I saw him. When it was time to take my seat—thankfully on the aisle,
whereIcouldmakeaquickgetawayifneeded—itwasclearhewasn’tthereatall.

Thatwaslikethefinalblowtomyheart,anditjustcrackedopen.
He knew me well enough to know that I’d be expecting to see him there, but he

didn’trespectmeenoughtoevenshowup.

Hetrulydespisedme.
Itookdeepbreathsasthehouselightswentdownandtheopeningcreditsbegan.

Tearswerealreadydrippingdownmycheeksandnothinghadevenhappenedyet.

Ibracedmyselffortheworsttwohoursofmylife.
I told myself I would sit there through the whole thing, no matter how painful or

humiliating.ItwastheleastIcoulddo—itwouldbemyfinalwayofapologizingtoLeo
forallthatI’ddone.Afterthis,Iwasdone,debtpaid.

Iwasabundleofnervesasthefirstscenesbegan.Itwasstrangeseeingsomeactress

versionofmeonagiantscreen,butsoonIwaslostinthestory,fascinatedathowitall
played out. The film was from the man’s perspective—in the movie, his name was
Martin—and focused on his fight to become a huge success at such a young age, and
the constant pressure to stay at the top while everyone waited for him to fail. With
everysuccessthestakesbecamehigher,untilMartinthoughthewouldcrack.

Sylviaenteredthepictureforthefirsttimewhen“Martin”wenttowhathethought

was just another painfully dull audition. Her honesty and light-heartedness helped
softenMartin’ssteelyexterior.

It’ssafetosayIwasonthevergeoftotalbreakdowncryingthroughoutmostofthe

movie. I did my best to hold it together because it was a truly beautiful film.
Wonderfullyacted,shotlikeadream,painfullyhonest.Frankly,itwasjustthekindof
movieIwouldhavelovedanyway,evenifithadn’tbeenbasedonmylife.

AsIbracedmyselffortheending—whereSylviaturnsevilandcrushesMartin’ssoul

—Irealizedslowlythatsucharevelationwasn’tevergoingtooccur.

Instead, what I watched onscreen was Leo’s character give Sylvia an impassioned

speech about how he blamed himself for losing the best thing that ever happened to

him.

In fact, this one scene was the only truly made up moment in the whole film. It

happened in the same location as the dreadful premier night when my true identity
had been exposed, when we’d been alone together and I’d tried to apologize to Leo,
onlyforhimtoshutdownandshutmeout.

Butinthisfictionalversionofourstory,Leowastheonewhotrulyopenedup.
“You pushed me to let my guard down, to believe in love and all its great

possibilities,”MartintoldSylviainthefilm.“ButIcouldn’tlisten.Iwouldn’tletmyself.
IkeptmyarmoroneveninourmostintimatemomentswhenallIwantedwastotell
youeverything,howincredibleIfeltwhenIwaswithyouandhowIwantedtochange
tobebetterforyou—becausethat’swhatyoutrulydeserved.ButIheldmyselfback,
neversayingmytruth,andsoIlivedalie.Butnotanymore,”Martinsaid.“Iloveyou,
Sylvia. I love you so much but I was too much of a coward to admit it to you. Not
anymore.Noteveragain.”

He embraced her as tears ran down Sylvia’s face, and kissed her passionately. He

pulledbacktolookcloselyintohereyes.“Iloveyou,Sylvia.Nowuntiltheend.”

I didn’t even notice the credits running, my face wet with tears, and I was openly

sobbing,astheaudiencestoodandapplauded.SomehowLeohadputintheverything
I’dwishedandwishedhadhappenedthatnight.

Maybehereallydidknowhowtotorturemesocruelly,becausechangingthatone

scene was almost too much for me to bear. I’d rather he painted me a villain than
shownmesuchavividversionofwhatmighthavebeen.

Anextraroarofapplauseeruptedfromtheaudienceasthehouselightscameup,

andIturnedtoseewhatpeoplewerelookingat.

AndthenIsawhim.
Leo.
Hewasreal,andhewasthere,walkingdowntheaisleinyetanotherperfectly-fitted

suit looking painfully beautiful. I searched his eyes for compassion and love and
anythinggood.AllIcouldfeelwasthetearsonmyfaceandtheinstincttoruntohim,
butknowinghewasn’tminetorunto.Ashegotclosertomyaisle,Irealizedhecarried
alargebouquetofredroses,probablyfortheleadactress.

But he stopped. Right next to me, at my aisle. And then, Leo Armstrong turned to

lookatme.Iwasfrozen.

He reached out his hand for me to take, and I did, going solely on autopilot. All

thoughthadleftmymind.Ihadnoideawhatwashappeningorwhatheplannedtodo.

Leosmiledandlookedaroundthetheater,takingintheapplause.Heheldupone

hand in a gesture for thanks and quiet, and the audience immediately obeyed. The
theaterwasasquietasithadbeenduringthemostintensescenesofthemovie.And
then,Leospoke.

And when he spoke, his eyes were on me and only on me. He wasn’t talking to

anyonebutmenow.

“You’reprobablywonderingwhatallofthisisabout,”hesaid.
I nodded, still unable to find my voice. Seeing him again, the realness of him, the

loveIstillhadforhim,waslikedrowning.Icouldn’tbeartobethiscloseandknowthat
wewereover.

“Thetruthis,whenIfirststartedthisscript,Iwasgoingtodoarealhatchetjobon

you,”hesaid.“Iwassoangryandhurtandheartbroken,morejadedthanI’deverbeen
before.Iintendedtohurtyoubywritingthisfilm,Sophie.”

Iswallowed.WhenIopenedmymouthtotellhimthatIdidn’tblamehim,heheld

uphishand.“Wait,”hesaidsoftly.“Justletmegetthisout.Ineedtosayitall.”

Inoddedmyacquiescence,andhecontinued.
“ButasIworkedonthescreenplay,everythingfloodedbacktome.Allofourtime

together,andthewayyoumademefeel.Irememberedwhoyoutrulywere,andfor
the first time I was able to step back and objectively view our relationship.” Leo
swallowed,hischintremblingmomentarily.Whenhespokeagain,hisvoicewasfullof
emotion.“Irealizedthatyou’dgivenyourselftomefully,andIwastheonewho’dheld
back. And then I understood, by the end of writing and filming, that I was the one
who’dbeenacoward,tooafraidtoshowyoumyfeelings,Sophie.You’dlosteverything
tobetruetowhatwehad,andIhadn’tbeenwillingtodothesame.Ithadbeeneasier
formetoblameyou.Butthat’sbecauseI’dbeenafool.”

Isobadlywantedtotalknow,butIrecalledthathewantedmejusttolisten.SoI

keptmymouthshutevenastearsstreameddownmyface.

Leolookedintomyeyes.“Irewroteandreshotthatlastsceneonlyafewweeksago,

andit was only thenthat I realized whatI needed to do.” He took a deep breath and
sighed, his eyes brimming with unshed tears. “I needed to tell you the truth, Sophie
Scott.IneededtotellyouthatIalwayslovedyou,andthatIstillloveyoumorethan
ever.Yourlovemademeseizenotjusttheday,butmylife.AndIintendtospendthe
restofmylifewiththewomanofmydreams…ifshe’llstillhaveme,thatis.”

HehandedmethebouquetasInodded,barelyabletospeak.“Ofcourse,”Isaid,as

the crowd burst into thunderous applause that I didn’t even care about. All I cared
aboutwashim.

Leo.
Helovedmeback.Hedidn’thatemeatall.
IfoundmyselfwrappedupinLeo’sarms,tearsrunningdownmyfaceandhislips

pressed firmly to mine. I was his. It had always been that way but we’d let outside
influencesgetinourway.Ashekissedmethereinthattheaterinfrontofhisfriends,
colleaguesandindustrybigwigs,IcaredonlyforLeoandourfeelingsforeachother.

I knew that I’d never let a day pass without showing him how much I loved him,

andwhathemeanttome.

Justminuteslater,wewalkedoutofthetheaterwithourarmsaroundeachother,

straightintoawaitinglimo—withSteveatthewheel,ofcourse.

“It’sgreattoseeyouagain,MissScott,”hesaid,andIwashappyandrelievedatthe

useofmyrealname.

“Yeah,yeah,”Leosaid.“Nooffense,Steve,butlet’sjustgetoutofherealready.”
Asthecarpulledaway,IstayedsnuggledclosetoLeo,stillinshockthatIwasthere

withhim,andthathehadn’tstoppedlovingmeafterall.

IfelttherealityofLeoArmstrong,hisscent,hisfeel,hisheat.Iletgooftheflowers

andclutchedhim.

“What’swrong?”hesaid,touchingmycheekthatwasstillwetwithtears.“Ithought

thiswasahappymoment,Sophie.”

“I’mafraidthatifIletgoofyou,you’lldisappearagain,”Itoldhim.
He pulled me closer. “Then don’t let go,” he said, his voice slightly bemused. But

thenheheldme,too,hisstrongarmsencirclingme.“Iwon’tifyouwon’t.”

And I knew then that he was a little scared too. We’d both thought that we’d lost

eachother,andbeinginoneanother’sarmsagainfelttoogoodtobetrue.

Butitwastrue.
Ilookedupintohiseyes.“I’msosorry—“
“Don’t,” he said. “You never need to apologize to me. I’m in love with you, and

besides—Ithinkwe’vemetourapologyquotientforthisyear.”

I laughed a little, my chest loosening. I was beginning to accept that this was

actuallyhappening.“Ialwayswanttotelleachotherhowwe’refeelingfromnowon,”I
said.“Promise?”

“Promise,”hereplied,strokingmyhair.“Aslongaswebothshalllive.”

“

E P I L O G U E

ou’rewrong,”Isaid.“Shewouldneversaythat.”

“Sureshewould,”Leosaid.
“Why?What’shermotivation?”Iasked.

Leostoodforamomentinourlivingroom,hisblueeyesfixedontherollinghills

outsidethelargewindow.

“See?”Isaidwhenhedidn’tanswer.Ismiledandshookmyhead.“Shewouldn’tsay

that.Let’sgobacktoearlierinthescript.”

Leowalkedovertome.Itiltedmyheaduptowardhim,offeringupmylips,which

he kissed. “I taught you everything you know and now I’ve created a monster,” he
teased,runningahandovermygrowingbelly.

“Ilearnedsomethingsformyself,”Isaid,puttingmyhandontopofhis.
Afterthepremiere,mylifebecamejustplainridiculous.LeoandIelopedandthen

he took me to Mexico, just like he’d wanted to all that time ago. We stayed in a
secludedareawithourownbeachsidebungalow,bigenoughforalargefamilybutall
forusandcompletewithfullstaffandachef.Westayedthereforthreeperfectweeks,
watchingthegossipblogsgonutsoverwhathappenedatthescreeningandreadingthe
reviewsforAllForYou.CriticssaidthemoviehadsignaledanewreignforEpixStudios,
proving that the studio wunderkind could be passionate and thoughtful in his
moviemaking and not just loud and explosive. Of course, I knew that already. And
now,ayearlater,herewewere,togetherinournewhomeworkingonascript—that
oldscripthe’dfirsthadmeworkonduringmydarkdaysatCrushmagazine.I’dfinally
gotten him to agree to change the ending to something more hopeful instead of the
darkcautionarytalehewanted.

Withhishandstillonmybelly,Leosaid,“Ihopeourbabygrowsuptobeasstrong

asyouare.”

“Andaswillfulasyouare,”Iadded,kissinghislipsagain.
LeohadsoldhisWilshireBoulevardapartmentandhisMalibuhomesoonafterwe

weremarried;nowwewerenestingintheHollywoodHills,aplacethatwasours—and
oursoon-to-bebundleofjoy.

EventhoughitwasaSaturday,wewereworkingbecausewelovedtowork.When

our minds went toe-to-toe it was as satisfying as when we rocked the bedroom—in a
totallydifferentway,ofcourse.

Delaney came out to visit so often that she practically had her own bedroom, and

Leo was trying to convince her to open a shop out in L.A. She was considering it,
especiallysincetheNewHampshirelocationwasdoingbetterthanexpected.AndIstill
keptintouchwithAvaMarie,whowasontheshortlistofdancersintheEpixoffices,so
she was working steadily and had even upgraded to a decent apartment in Santa
Monicaproper.

Lifewasgood.Istillcouldn’tbelieveit.
“Hey, I’m getting burnt out with this rewrite,” Leo said, breaking me from my

reverieasheyawnedandstretchedhismusculararmsupwards.“Wanttotakeadrive
andgetasmoothie?”

Imadeaface.“That’sallIeverdrinkanymore.”
Leojustchuckled,grabbedmyhand.“Youhaveitsorough,”hesaid.
Imisseddrinkingcoffeelikeitwasgoingoutofstyle,butLeohadgraciouslygone

withoutinashowofmaritalsupport.SoIcouldn’tcomplaintoomuch,anyhow.

Wegotinhiscaranddrovetoanearbyrestaurantthatmadegreatsmoothies,and

hadniceoutdoorseating.Itnormallywasn’tverycrowdedandwecouldeasilyavoid
thephotographersthathoundedusatthemoretypicalHollywoodhangouts.

The day was beautiful and I felt like nothing could possibly make it better. As we

heldhandsandcrossedthestreettogetinsidetherestaurant,IglancedoveratLeoand
foundmyselfsmiling,asIoftendidlately.

He looked back at me and smirked. “I thought you were sick of smoothies, but

you’resmilinglikeyou’dratherbeherethananywhereelse.”

“I’msickofsmoothies,butI’llneverbesickofspendingtimewithyou,”Itoldhim,

and we kissed one another. It was just as magical as our first kiss, probably more so,
becausenowIknewthathewasmineandIwashis.

Iknewthathetrulywasthegood,kind,lovingmanthatI’dalwayssuspectedhimto

be.

Aswebrokeoffthekiss,Ihappenedtoglancetomyright.
Sittingnotfivefeetawayfromusatoneoftheoutsidetables,allalone,wasmyold

editorfromCrush.Kaitwassittingandnursingadrink,anopenmagazineinfrontof
her.Shelookedpaleandangry,herfacepinchedbeneathherfancysunglasses.

Shehadclearlyspottedus,butwentbacktolookingathermagazineandpretending

shedidn’t.

Leosqueezedmyhandandpulledmetothebartoplaceourorders.“Didyousee

whowassittingoutthere?”Isaidundermybreath.

Leonoddedashepaidforoursmoothies.“Isaw.”
“Iwanttogiveherapieceofmymind.”
Helaughed.“Don’tevenbother.”
“Butsheneedstoknowthatwhatshedidwaswrong.”
“Sophie,justlookather.She’ssittingatthisrestaurant,drinkingallbyherself.She

lookscompletelymiserable.Andnowsheseesusheretogetherandknowsthatwe’re
happyandnoneofthebullshitshetriedhadanyeffectonusatall.Doyourealizehow
muchitsuckstobeherrightnow?”

Ithoughtaboutitandrealizedhewasright.“Let’sgetthosesmoothiestogo,justthe

same,”Itoldhim.“I’dratherhavethemontherideback.Justyouandme.Together.”

“Yourwishismycommand,”Leoreplied,bowingslightly.
Afewminuteslater,wewerewalkingtothecarandgettinginside,andalready,as

hestartedtheengineandpulledawayfromthecurb—we’dbegundiscussingthefilm
script again. “I’m telling you, she would never do that,” I said, shaking my head as I
sippedmysmoothie.

Leostartedtotellmewhymyideaforthescriptwaswrongandhiswasstillright,

when it suddenly occurred to me that we’d walked right past Kait as we’d left the
restaurant. And I’d completely forgotten about her. She’d just slipped my mind, as if
she’dneverreallyexisted.

AndIrealizedthatitwasbecause,inaway,shehadn’t.
Herbrandofangerandbitternesswaslikesmoke,dissipatinginthewind,andnow

weweredrivingwiththewindowsdownandmyhairwasblowinginthewarmbreeze
andIwastrulyhappy.

NothingelseexistedbutmeandLeoandthelifewe’ddaredtocreatetogether.
ItookanothersipofmydrinkandlistenedtoLeotalk,lovingthesoundofhisvoice

andremindingmyselftoneverletthisfeelingslipaway.

THEEND

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Document Outline

Copyright
NOTE
Want To Be In The Know?
Cold (Book Four) By Ella London
Bonus Material: Panty Dropper by Paige North
- Chapter 1
- Chapter 2
- Chapter 3
- Chapter 4
- Chapter 5
- Chapter 6
- Chapter 7
- Chapter 8
- Chapter 9
- Chapter 10
- Chapter 11
- Chapter 12
- Chapter 13
- Chapter 14
- Chapter 15
- Chapter 16
- Chapter 17
- Chapter 18
- Chapter 19
- Chapter 20
- Chapter 21
- Epilogue

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