Microsoft Word - Active Listening E.DOC

Active Listening

Good listening skills are important, both in the
workplace and in day-to-day living. Yet most of us
received very little training in effective listening.

You can use this tool to learn:

about some factors that may hinder listening;

some important strategies to improve your listening skills; and,

how reflecting skills can clarify understanding and encourage others to
offer more information.

Sections

Effective Listening Quiz
What is Effective Listening?

Improving Listening Skills

Reflecting Skills

References and Resources

Active Listening

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Effective Listening Quiz

What do you know about effective listening?

Before you read any further about effective listening,
take a few minutes and complete the following quiz. You
might be surprised at your answers!

True False

True False

True False

True False

True False

True False

True False

True False

1. A good listener does not have to concentrate

on the speaker.

2.  A good listener listens for facts, not ideas.

3.  Listening requires our active participation.

4.  People with hearing loss cannot be good

listeners.

5. Most people listen well.

6. Good listeners know what a speaker is saying

and can intercept with a short cut.

7. Effective listening is done with the whole

body.

8. You can be an effective listener in any

culture, provided you understand the
language.

Check your answers on the next page!

Active Listening

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Effective Listening Quiz: Answers

1: In fact, a good listener does have to concentrate on the speaker. Good
listeners take care to concentrate on the speaker and what he or she is
saying.

2: Actually, a good listener listens for central ideas and themes.

3: It's true that listening requires our active participation.

4: People with hearing loss can be great listeners! Hearing has little to do
with the ability to listen.

5: Most people are not as good at listening as they think they are. In fact,
most of us need practice.

6: No, a good listener does not interrupt.

7: True. Effective listening is done with the whole body.

8: Effective listening often involves more than hearing words, particularly in
an intercultural context. A skilful listener must also be able to perceive what
is sometimes quite complex nonverbal information.

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What is Effective Listening?

Active Listening

In today's workplace good listening skills are considered to be one of the
most important managerial skills - an interesting concept when you consider
that listening skills aren't usually taught in the educational system.

Did You Know?

Most of us have not been taught to listen but we spend about half of
our time listening.

About 50% of misunderstandings occur because people do not listen
effectively.

Some of us believe that being heard is more important than listening to
another person.

People believe that just because a person has hearing ability, then he or
she can also listen actively.

Many of us have never heard that active listening is important.

Eighty percent of interpersonal communication is non-verbal.

Poor Listeners vs. Good Listeners

What do you think are the differences between a good listener and a poor
listener? If you can, recall instances where someone you were talking to:

kept looking around the room;

interrupted you;

waited politely until you finished and then continued talking on his or her
own subject; and,

did not give any non-verbal cues or encouragers to you.

You already know what a poor listener is! You also know that a poor listener
does not seem to consider you very important or very interesting. Your
response to this behaviour would likely be to stop talking or find another
person to talk with. In short, since you do not feel your information is
valuable to the other person, you will not communicate openly.

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After considering the actions of poor listeners, take a few moments and
think about the actions of good listeners. Some people seem to be born good
listeners. They are easy to talk to and others are quick to trust them with
information. Why is this? What qualities do these people have that make
other people open up so easily?

Are these qualities something a person is born with or is it possible to
achieve them through learning and practice?

Think of someone you know who is easy to talk to because he or she listens
to you. In the space below, write down the qualities and behaviours of this
person that make you feel comfortable.

Here are some possible answers:

Good listeners:

Minimize or remove any barriers to communication that may threaten
their effectiveness.

Physically face towards and pay attention to the sender.

Listen for and verbally confirm the sender's intent or purpose.

Confirm the content or the sender's request (the

who

what

where

when

why

and

how

Clarify the degree of importance of the request to the sender. What is
the reason, need or urgency of the request?

Recognize the level of emotion demonstrated by the speaker.

Summarize and share their understanding of what is being requested.

Indicate the level of response they will be able to provide.

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Improving Listening Skills

Factors That Hinder Listening

Many factors hinder our listening. Here are a few examples:

Daydreaming.

Preparing our responses ahead of time.

Thinking about other people, places or things.

Active listening can help us combat these factors.

Ways to Improve Your Listening

Here are some strategies and suggestions to help you improve your listening
skills.

Increase your listening span:

Try to resist the temptation to interrupt.

Make sure the speaker has had a complete chance to make his or her
point before you speak.

If you don't get the whole message, ask the speaker to repeat.

Take time to listen:

Don't put obvious limitations on your listening time - the speaker will feel
rushed.

Many people think out loud and grope toward their meaning while they
are talking. To get the proper message from the speaker, you may have
to let him or her find the idea first. This may take some time.

Give full attention:

Nodding or interjecting occasionally to clarify a point lets the speaker
know you are interested.

If the speaker pauses briefly, don't rush to fill the silence.

Use open-ended questions to encourage elaboration.

Restate the message:

When you are sure that the speaker has finished, restate the main
points.

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This is a good organizing strategy for you.

It also gives the speaker assurance that the message has been received.

Don't overreact to delivery:

Try not to let the speaker's style interfere with the message.

This might not be easy.

It is your responsibility as the listener to try to dig for the message
underneath what might be a dull, monotone delivery.

Don't overreact to content:

Don't let your emotions about what the speaker is saying interfere with
the message.

Inflammatory language at the beginning of a conversation can cloud the
listener's interpretation of a message.

Try to suppress surprise and suspend judgements.

Don't fake attention:

We often fake attention when we find a person difficult to listen to.

We understand the mannerisms that relate to active listening and we act
them out.

The purpose of these actions is not only to assure the speaker that we
are paying attention, but also to increase our awareness of the message.

If you aren't getting what the speaker is saying, the nods and "uh-
hmmmms" won't help you understand.

Listen between the lines:

Don't just listen to what is being said.

Try to understand the attitudes, needs and motives behind the words.

Changing tones, volume and other non-verbal clues such as facial
expression and gestures can have meanings that are not directly
expressed in words.

Listen for ideas as well as facts:

A good listener makes an effort to understand what the facts add up to.

Keep the whole picture in mind.

What are the ideas that bind all the facts together?

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Don't monopolize:

Resist the urge to dominate a situation or to feel that you know
everything about a situation.

Be open to new ideas and allow the speaker to have his or her say.

Adapt your thought speed:

We can think about three times faster than we can talk. The average
speaking rate is 150-200 words per minute, but the brain processes 450-
600 words per minute.

The brain however is never idle. This can cause daydreaming and the like.

It is difficult to slow down our thought speed to keep pace with the
speaker.

Keep your thought processes related to what the speaker is talking
about.

Mentally sum up the points already made.

Anticipate where the speaker is going with his or her thoughts (but
don't interject).

Continually weigh the evidence.

Practice Listening Skills

Here is a little research and practice you can do in the workplace or in your
personal life to help you improve your listening skills.

Step 1

When you find yourself in the company of someone who doesn't seem to be
sensitive to your communications and who isn't picking up on what you're
trying to get across, ask yourself: "What is this person doing (or not doing)
that makes me feel like giving up talking?"

Observe mannerisms, body language, eye contact (or lack of same), the way
he or she responds to what you are saying.

Step 2

Search out people you work with who you feel are effective listeners.
Observe and note the things they do that make them effective. How do they
show they are listening? How do they encourage others to talk?

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Step 3

When you have completed this research and you know what to do and what
not to do, practise your listening skills. Concentrate on being an active
listener. For example:

At your next opportunity, when in conversation with someone, remind
yourself to be relaxed and detached. Stop thinking or worrying about
yourself and focus on the other person's concerns and interests. Allow
yourself to follow what he or she wants to talk about. Respond to the
speaker's comments and don't add your own opinions or views.

Use the same behaviours good listeners use that make you want to talk.

Remember: Your job is to listen and see if you can get the other person
to do most of the talking.

Notice how the other person responds when you take a relaxed,
detached attitude and note how the conversation flows. You don't have
to have a solution, an answer or suggestion to offer; you simply listen.

Remind yourself of these active listening skills the next time you are
listening to another person.

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Reflecting Skills

Giving Feedback

When we practice active listening, we also develop a set of skills called
reflecting skills. These are extremely helpful for giving a person direct
feedback. The purpose of this feedback is to show a person that you have
heard and understood.

Why is this important? It lets the speaker know that he or she is receiving
someone's total, undivided attention. Showing a person that you have heard
and understood is tremendously encouraging.

Feedback and Confirmation

It's important to remember that how one gives feedback or seeks confirmation is very much
influenced by culture. For instance, in cultures that tend to have an indirect communication

style, there is generally less of a need for things to be spelled out. In these cultures,
harmony is important and there is a natural tendency away from confrontation and towards
indirectness. People from these cultures may never use the word "no". (See the module on
Cross-Cultural Communication Skills for more information.)

What are Reflecting Skills?

What you are doing in reflecting is exactly what the word implies - you are
reflecting back to the other person and saying, "Is that right? Is that the
way you see it?" The following steps can help you learn how to improve your
reflecting skills.

Encouraging:

The simplest technique is encouraging someone to continue.

Repeat one or two key words in the form of a question or statement.

Or, make small encouraging sounds such as "humm" or "uh-huh."

You may simply repeat one or two words of the person's previous
statement.

Example of Encouraging:

Speaker:

"I feel uneasy about eating this food."

Encouraging: "uneasy?" or "hmmm..."

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Paraphrasing

This process involves repeating, in your own words, what the other
person has said.

Use several key words and concentrate on the content of the last few
sentences.

Example of Paraphrasing:

Sender:

“I think this whole project should be scrapped.”

Paraphrase: “Are you saying we should go back to the old way?”

Repeating

Choose a few key words you hear when someone is speaking and repeat
them to show you have understood.

This skill has much in common with paraphrasing, except it uses the
speaker's own words, not yours.

It shows the person speaking that you have understood the important
points of their message.

It also encourages the person to continue.

Example of Repeating:

Sender:

"I'm going to start coming in earlier in the morning from now on

because it's quieter and I can get more work done."

Repeating:

"...earlier" or "...more work done"

Summarizing

Summarizations are longer paraphrases and cover more than the
person's previous statement.

They may attempt to capture what was said during a whole interview or
at least a large segment of what was said.

The fact that you remember what was discussed encourages the person
to continue.

Summarizing can show the other person we have been attentive, help us
check that our understanding is accurate, and show the other person
that we have understood.

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Example of Summarizing:

Sender:

“My placement was in Hong Kong. It was a very exciting time

and I had the opportunity to learn Chinese. Since I was single and had no children, I
was also able to travel extensively through Asia. I met my husband in Asia, he was

teaching English as a second language. We moved back to Canada to be closer to
our families when we had a child. I accepted a position at a non-governmental agency

in Canada. Now that our child is school aged, we are looking to find employment
overseas, hopefully in Europe, where the school system is similar to Canada and we
can do some more travelling.”

Summarizing:

“So you enjoyed your placement in Hong Kong, learning

Chinese and travelling. But, now that the baby is older and you have some experience

in Canada under your belt, you feel it's time for a new employment challenge,
preferably in Europe. Is that correct?”

Confirmation

Reflecting skills contain what we call a check for confirmation. "Is that
what's going through your mind?" and "Does that cover it pretty well?" - to
be sure that your reflection is accurate. It also conveys that you are really
interested in understanding.

No one expects you to grasp what he or she is
saying perfectly, every time, so it's quite
acceptable to ask when you don't comprehend
what was said. "I'm sorry, I don't understand.
Could you go through that again?" This is not
really a reflection but has much the same effect.
It says that you are dedicated to understanding,
even if you admit you don't comprehend at first.

When you think you understand the essential elements of the other person's
message, you indicate your understanding of what is important and ask the
other person if you are right.

Example

"So what's really important to you is..."
"As I understand it, you need... Is that right?"

"Let me see if I understand you correctly. You think that it is essential that..."

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Learning Activity: Reflecting Skills

Select the answer that best corresponds to the question:

1. Identify the PARAPHRASE from the three statements below:

Speaker says: “I think we should add more resources to this program.”

Listener says:

A) “You’re upset about the way it’s running now?”

B) “More resources?”

C) “So you think this program deserves the investment of more
resources.”

2. Identify the REPEATING response from the three statements below:

Speaker says: “I can’t wait to get to my placement in London.”

Listener says:

A) “London?”

B) “Wow, you seem really excited.”

C) “Sounds like that placement is just what you’ve been looking for.”

3. Identify the SUMMARIZING response from the three statements
below.

Speaker says: “The request came through the Supervisor’s office but looking at the
content it appears to me that it would be more appropriate to have the Manager’s

office deal with it. If you agree, I’ll draft an explanatory note and hand deliver it.”

Listener says:

A) “You seem a bit apprehensive about this.”

B) “Manager’s office?”

C) “Let me see if I have this straight. The request was sent to the
Supervisor, but you think the response should more appropriately come

from the Manager. You’re also willing to write a covering note and walk it
over yourself. Am I right?”

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