THE COMING OUT SERIES

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entirely coincidental.

Books by John Green:

The Rejected Son (Book 1 of the Coming Out
series)
The Homecoming Reunion (Book 2 of the Coming
Out series)
The Broken Dreams (Book 3 of the Coming Out
Series)
The Coming Out Series: Complete Collection (All
3 Books)

www.

PorterlanceBooks

.com

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eBook

The

Coming Out

Series

John Green

The

Rejected Son

John Green

Chapter 1

The oldest memories I have are of me and Momma
at the zoo. I must’ve only been about three or four,
but I remember holding Momma’s hand tightly, and
being fascinated at how long the giraffe’s necks
were.

“The giraffes are the guardians of the animal
kingdom,” Momma told me when I asked why their
necks were so long. “They keep an eye out for any
dangerous predators.”

I was intrigued by the idea that the animals had
their own world and society, with each of them
having a job to protect and provide for each other.
At the same time, though, their society had its own
dangers and villains, just like ours.

The villain in my life was George, my soon-to-be
step-father. Momma met George when I was just
starting Kindergarten. George was the type of guy
that always wore flannel shirts and liked to smoke

a cigar or pipe at all times. He wore a bushy
mustache and his face and hands felt like leather.

At first he was very nice to me. I remember when
Momma first introduced us. We met George at a
large department store, and he offered to buy me
any toy I wanted in the entire store.

Since I could only get one, I wanted to make extra
sure it was just the right toy.

“Any toy?” I asked.

“Any toy,” he confirmed. I thought that George
must be rich if he could let me pick out any toy
from the entire store.

I searched the shelves over and over, returning two
or three times to certain toys I liked, trying to
decide if one was better than the other. I had never
had a chance like this before, and wanted to be
extra careful to make the right decision.

Momma didn’t make a lot of money, so I usually
only got toys at my birthdays or Christmases. It
was rare to get a new one any other time. But, I

guess George was trying to buy my acceptance. If
only I knew that then.

“Come on now,” Momma prodded when I was
taking too long to make up my mind. Finally I
decided on a toy movie projector. It had
cartridges that you inserted into it, and it would
project the cartoon movies onto the wall. It made
me feel like I had my own movie theater inside my
bedroom.

They went on several more dates before
announcing that they were getting married. Since I
was so young, I didn’t really know what that
meant, but I was happy for Momma.

George had promised Momma a life of
happiness…one where she didn’t have to work
anymore. I was only five, so I didn’t realize then
how quickly they were getting married compared
to how long a normal engagement might last.

It turned out that Momma and George got married
in a hurry because George was being relocated at
his job. He was an industrial mechanic, and had to

go where the work was needed.

Momma and George’s wedding was at the court
house in front of a Justice of the Peace. It was just
supposed to be family, so I was surprised to see
another boy there. He seemed to be about twice
my age, with short, cropped hair that was
completely opposite from my own. I had what
Momma called a mop top. I hated having my hair
cut, so Momma just let it grow out rather than
having me throw a fit at the hair salon. Thinking
back, it probably saved her money anyways, so it
worked out for everyone.

“Who is that?” I asked Momma in a whisper, but
she either didn’t hear me or chose to ignore me.

The boy with the short hair was George’s son, I
found out after the ceremony. I’m sure it would’ve
come up that I was going to have a new, big
brother, but I couldn’t remember anyone having
ever mentioned it to me before then.

“I’m Tim,” George’s son said, as he put out his
hand for me to shake. He didn’t seem too fond of

me, but maybe he was just as surprised as I was.

“I’m Logan,” I replied. I had always been a shy
kid. Often when I met new people, I would hide
behind Momma’s leg, or at least hold onto it. I’m
not sure what I was afraid of, but I knew that
Momma would always be there to protect me, no
matter what.

After the Judge announced that George could kiss
the bride, Momma came up to me and tussled my
hair. “Don’t look so scared, Logan,” she said.
“This is going to be a great new beginning to our
lives.” She seemed so happy and excited that I
tried to feel the same way, but deep down I was
scared…scared of it no longer being just me and
Momma, scared of moving in with George and
Tim, and scared of leaving my school and friends
to live in another state.

Chapter 2

I wasn’t really given time to adjust to anything.
That week, we packed up and moved across the
country. Our new home was in Louisiana. We
drove there in Momma’s station wagon, while
movers were bringing the u-Haul truck with all of
our belongings and George’s pickup truck.

George didn’t really speak to me very much, but
the long drive did give me and Tim a chance to
bond better. We would stare out the windows and
have scavenger hunts for things like a red truck, or
a car with a dog in it. It was nice to have another
kid to play with on the long drive…even if he was
ten years old. At the time, I thought of him like a
big brother who knew everything, but I’m sure
inside he was just as scared and nervous about the
move as I was.

Once we got to our new home, we all helped
unpack the U-Haul. I was only five, but I carried

what I could. We were living in an apartment
building, on the twelfth floor. It was a pretty big
adjustment from the mobile home I was used to. I
had never even seen such a big building before. It
reminded me of the newspaper building that Clark
Kent worked at in the comic books and Superman
cartoons.

Tim got the bigger bedroom, but I was happy with
mine. Any bedroom to a five-year-old is huge. I
was given Tim’s old set of bunk beds, and he had a
new full size bed. My room also had a big stuffed
chair that used to be in our old living room.
Momma was given it because her boss thought it
was ruined, but Momma re-upholstered it and
made it new for us. My favorite thing in my new
bedroom was the closet I had. It was a large
cabinet closet, not like the ones that were built into
the bedroom’s walls. I was going to use it as my
secret fort.

Tim’s room was at the end of the hallway, across
from Momma and George’s room. He had a door
that was half wood and half glass. The wood

made a frame with the bubbled glass in the
middle. Because the glass was so bumpy, you
couldn’t see through it well…just shadows and
blurry movements. “Can I sleep with you?” I
asked Tim the first night. I didn’t like being in a
new place, and didn’t want to sleep alone in my
own room. I was still afraid of the dark. I was
okay if I had a light on in my room, or even the
sound of a TV in the other room…but the darkness
mixed with the complete silence freaked me out for
some reason.

“Boys don’t sleep with boys,” George said when
he heard me ask Tim if I could sleep with him for
the night. Now that they were married, George
didn’t go out of his way to be nice to me.

“Oh, let them sleep together. Logan can sleep on
the floor in a sleeping bag,” Momma suggested.
This was the moment in time where I realized that
George was now the decision-maker in the family.
He still didn’t like the idea of me needing to sleep
in Tim’s room. He thought that I was soft…
whatever that meant, and that I needed to be a

man. I thought that was silly since I was not even
six yet. Eventually, he gave in. I was sternly told
that it would be for one night only, though.

Neither Tim nor I could sleep very well that night.
The moving exhausted us and we had taken a nap
on the living room floor while watching cartoons
as Momma and George continued to put things
away. Since we were both wide awake, Tim and I
spent the night talking. George yelled at us a few
times to go to sleep, but we just whispered as
quietly as we could instead.

Tim told me all about his old friends, and how they
would go on adventures in the woods…making
forts inside the bushes and making swings in the
trees. I was still pretty little, so Momma never let
me go off and do adventurous things like that, but I
loved listening to Tim tell me about his most
exciting times. I could picture them in my head
and almost felt like I was there with him and his
friends.

“What happened to your Momma?” I asked Tim

when there was a lull in our conversation.

“She left,” he answered. I could tell it made him
sad. He told me that she just wasn’t happy with
his Dad anymore, and wanted a divorce. They
fought over custody of Tim, but George won.
Now, he never even got to see his Mom anymore.

I got up to give Tim a hug. He seemed a bit
confused by it. I don’t think George gave him hugs
very often, but Tim just held me tightly. I could
feel him shake as we hugged and knew he was
crying.

I stayed in the bed the rest of the night, so it was
easier to whisper back and forth without George
hearing and yelling at us again. Eventually, Tim
and I fell asleep.

“What the fuck is this!?” I heard as I was getting
yanked from the bed, and thrown on the floor by
George.

Chapter 3

I was so scared; I wet my pajama pants, which just
made George even angrier. Momma tried to calm
him down, but he pushed her back.

“I’m not raising no sissies!” he yelled, mainly to
me. Tim just sat in bed, trying not to move.

After George finished yelling at me, he made me
clean up my mess. Luckily, the sleeping bag I was
on was water-proof, so most of the urine was
contained to that. There was only a small amount
that got on the carpet, and George made me scrub
that with a brush and soapy water. Tim offered to
help, but George told him to let the sissy do it,
which was me, I guess.

Afterwards, George ordered me to my room, and
took off his belt. I screamed as he struck my bare
bottom over and over with his worn, leather belt.

A little later, Momma came in to see how I was

doing. I could tell she had been crying. Even
though I could barely sit down due to the pain my
butt was feeling, I felt worse for Momma. I didn’t
want her to be sad because of me.

That was only the first of the tortures I would
endure from George’s hand. As time passed,
George became less and less tolerant of anything I
did.

If I asked to spend the night at my friend’s, who
lived in the same apartment building, George
would blow up at me. The first time I was
allowed to sleep over at my friend, Matthew’s, I
was so homesick that I cried all night and
Matthew’s parents called Momma and George to
have me come home. Of course, that was just
proof to George that I was a sissy.

He would regularly call me names like “sissy”, or
“faggot.” Of course, he never used that one when
Momma was around to hear. I’m sure she knew
how he felt about me, though.

I felt lucky when I was just being ignored by

George, which was most of the time. When he
wasn’t ignoring me, he was complaining that I
didn’t have any friends, or that I didn’t like things
that boys should like. Momma and him would get
into many arguments because she tried to defend
me to George.

Late at night, I would hear Momma and George
arguing loudly about it. At times they would even
start screaming. Every argument grew worse and
worse.

Eventually, Tim would sneak into my room when
they would argue since his bedroom was so close
to their bedroom. “It’s going to be alright,” he
would tell me. I think he was trying to reassure
himself as well, though.

He would lie on my top bunk and lower his hand
down towards me so we could hold hands as we
slept. It was our way of comforting each other.
Tim was always sure to make it back to his room
before George would wake up for work. This
became our ritual.

Over those first few years in Louisiana, Tim and I
became close…like real brothers. He would
always stick up for me with his friends if they
were making fun of me because I seemed weird to
them, or anyone else that tried to mess with me.
Twice he was called to the Principal’s office for
fighting because he heard kids call me queer.

Chapter 4

George was not a happy camper the first time he
was called to the Principal’s office over Tim’s
fighting. I think he would’ve been proud if it were
just a fight. But, because it was in defense of
another boy calling me queer or gay, George
became furious. When he and Momma got home, I
was given another beating with the belt.

It was like I was being punished for being gay, and
back then I didn’t even know what it meant to be
gay. I never dreamed of dating another guy, or
about having sex with one. I was seven. I didn’t
even know about sex yet.

Even when I had my first experiences with it, I
didn’t know it was sex, or that it was gay. My
friend, Billy, and I were playing in the playground
by our apartment building. Behind the playground
was a large, wooded area. We often explored that
area, looking for hidden treasures.

“Hey, Logan…wanna try something?” Billy asked
me on one of our explorations.

“Like what?” I asked, curious about what he
wanted to do. Billy was a year older than me, and
I looked up to him.

“It’s something I saw my brother doing,” he told
me and then he instructed me to pull my pants
down.

“I don’t know,” I said. “What if someone sees
us?” I guess even then, I knew it was not right.
But, Billy talked me into it. He said he was going
to put his pee-pee in my butt and pee. I thought it
was weird, but he swore that it felt good.

We both tried, but neither of us could pee, so we
just pulled our pants up and left. I didn’t get any
sexual gratification from the experience, and we
never did anything again. Luckily, George never
found out. I’m sure if he did, he would’ve spanked
me so hard that I’d be unable to walk for a month.

It wasn’t until I was a little older that I knew I was

different than most boys. Tim was now in high
school, and I was left alone to fight my own
battles. By that time, though, I had some good
friends, and the bullies mostly left me alone.

On my way home from school one day, I saw
Momma and George driving off from the apartment
building. “Hey, Logan,” Momma said, “We will
be back in a little while.”

“What’s wrong?” I asked. I could tell Momma had
been crying. Her makeup was all messed up, and
so was her hair. George just sat behind the wheel
of the powder blue station wagon without making
any eye contact.

“We just gotta go to the hospital,” she told me. I
was worried, but she told me that she was fine.
“Tell Tim that he should take care of fixing dinner
for you,” she added before they drove away.

I later found out that Momma and George had
gotten into a physical fight and he was throwing
her around. In the process, Momma landed hard
on her tailbone and broke it.

“Where’s the folks?” Tim asked when he got home
an hour later. His school didn’t get out as early as
mine, but he also got to go in a little later.

I told him what happened, or at least what I knew
and he decided to splurge on a pizza for us to
share. There was a place down the road that sold
large, pepperoni pizzas for only seven dollars, and
Tim had some money saved up from his
allowance.

He and I played some video games and ate our
pizza. I know he was just trying to keep my mind
occupied, since he could tell I was worried about
Momma. Mostly, it worked. As long as I was
staying busy, I didn’t worry too much.

Finally, around ten o’clock, Momma called.
“Honey, we’re going to be late,” she told me.

“Are you okay?” I asked. Hearing her voice again
did little to calm me. It actually made me worry
more.

“I’m fine. There are just a lot of people here, and

we have to wait our turn. You get ready for bed,
though, and I’ll come tuck you in when I get
home.” After she told Tim and I that she loved us
both, she hung up. George didn’t bother to get on
the phone at all.

“Can I sleep with you tonight, Tim?” I asked.

“No, buddy.” I could tell he wanted to say yes, but
since we didn’t know when George and Momma
would be home, it was too risky. “But,” he added,
“how about we cuddle up on the couch and watch
one more show before bed?”

“Okay,” I answered. Tim brought over a blanket
and sat in the corner of the couch, so I could lay
beside him with my head in his lap. He covered
me up and caressed my neck and back as we
watched my favorite cartoon show.

It was then that I felt something weird happen. My
penis had gotten hard, and I felt like I was starting
to pee.

Chapter 5

I got up and ran to the bathroom, upset that I had
wet my pants in front of my big brother. I didn’t
know exactly what had happened, but I knew it
was because I really liked being close to Tim, and
enjoyed the feeling of him caressing my back.
Only a few years later did I learn that I had cum in
my pants.

By the time I was in high school, I had learned to
jack off. My friend Clint had me over to spend the
night for his birthday. Even though he was a year
younger than me, he seemed to know a lot more
about sex than I did.

The whole night, he was asking questions about
sex. “If you had the chance to have sex with a girl
right now, would you do it?” he asked.

“No,” I answered. It was true. Sex wasn’t a big
deal for me yet, and even though I had a few
crushes on girls, I didn’t think about them

sexually. I thought of sex as something that two
people should do when they loved one another.
Clint didn’t agree, though. He said he would do it
if he had the chance.

He told me about a book that he read that talked
about masturbation. He said that the next time I
took a shower I should use some soap or shampoo
and lather up my penis…that it would feel
amazing.

I tried it and he was right. My penis got hard and
sensitive as I jacked off with the soapy lather. It
didn’t take me long to ejaculate.

Since then, I jacked off at least once a day, every
day. I quickly learned that it was messy to do it in
the water. Sperm was kind-of water-proof, so it
made it harder to wash it off.

I didn’t like the mess, and the second I finished
jacking off, I was filled with a feeling of guilt. My
sex drive would completely disappear. I started
using a washcloth to jack off with. It made my
dick feel larger and more sensitive, and when I

came into the washcloth there was no mess to
clean up.

At this time, Tim had moved out and went off to
college so I didn’t really have anyone to ask
questions to. I would jerk off to movies on cable
or just to fantasies in my head. At first those
fantasies were about women. After a while,
though, I started thinking about guys I went to
school with. It was strange, though, because I
didn’t even think I liked the guys sexually. They
were just guys that reminded me of Tim, or that I
looked up to and wanted to be like.

I would tell Momma all about them when George
was at work. One night, though, she slipped a note
under my door that asked me if I wanted to marry
the guys I was telling her about, or if I just looked
up to them.

The letter broke my heart. It was one of the two
things Momma did that made me stop opening up to
her. I couldn’t believe that Momma thought I was
gay. Even to this day, I don’t know if I convinced

myself that I was gay because I thought Momma
believed it, or if she actually could see the real me
before I could.

Either way, from that time on, I did start to focus
more and more on guys. I still didn’t think about
them sexually, but I did want to be close to them. I
figured I was just looking for a replacement for a
male role model, since Tim was gone and I never
truly had a father.

I eventually did become best friends with one of
the guys I obsessed over. His name was Aaron,
and he was every girl’s dream. He was athletic,
and popular, and very handsome. He even had
perfect penmanship.

At lunch one day, Aaron asked me if I wanted a
bag of Doritos. He had an extra and saw that I was
alone at lunch and not eating. “I’m okay,” I told
him, but he insisted enough that I finally took the
bag of tortilla chips from him.

“You don’t talk much, do you?” he asked. I was
used to people making fun of me or harassing me,

so I couldn’t really tell if he was just talking or
trying to gain my confidence so he could play a
trick on me.

“No, not much.”

“Well, we need to change that,” he said with a
smile. Even though I thought maybe he was setting
me up, I couldn’t help but feel good that the class’
most popular guy was being friendly to me.

We ate lunch together every day, and I managed to
let my guard down around Aaron. He introduced
me to a lot of his friends, but I still enjoyed my
alone time with him the most.

One of the friends Aaron introduced me to was a
girl named Flo. She was a little shorter than me,
and had long black hair. She was over-weight, but
it worked for her. If I had to describe her
personality, I’d say it was somewhere between a
heavy rocker type and a hippie. On the outside,
she was very brash and loud.

I started spending more time with her, whenever

Aaron and I weren’t hanging around together.
Even though she seemed so tough on the outside, I
realized she was a really warm and sensitive
person on the inside.

She was the first person I told that I was gay. I
was scared, but I knew that she wouldn’t judge me
for it. “Honey, I always knew you were gay,” she
told me when I came out to her.

I felt a little bad about it, because if she could tell,
I thought maybe everyone else could as well. But,
it turned out to be a good thing because she had a
secret to tell me as well.

“What?” I asked, dying from the suspense.

“Well, you know how you and Aaron are best
friends?” I didn’t know where she was going with
it, but I nodded. “Well, what if one of you wanted
to be more than best friends…like boyfriends?”
she asked.

“I’m not going to put the moves on Aaron!” I
answered back, probably a little too loudly. I had

to quickly look around and make sure no one had
heard me.

“No, dummy,” she said. “I’m saying that maybe
Aaron wants to put the moves on you.”

I couldn’t believe what she was telling me. I
never thought for a second that Aaron could be gay
or like me like that. He came off as completely
straight.

Chapter 6

It turned out she was right about Aaron. After both
of us knew each other was gay, it gave us so much
more to talk about and eventually led to us dating.

Of course, neither of us told anyone about it, but it
still felt like dating. We would hold hands when
no one was looking or we were in a dark movie
theater. And, I finally got my first kiss. It was
everything I imagined it could be.

Flo would let us use her place when no one was
home to make out and have some alone time. It
was there that I had sex for the first time. I won’t
say it was good, because it was awkward, but I
was happy that Aaron was my first.

“Whatcha thinking?” Aaron asked me as we lay in
each other’s arms.

“I’m just thinking about how glad I am that you
came up and talked to me that day after lunch,” I

answered.

“You know, I was pretty nervous?”

“I couldn’t tell. What did you have to be nervous
about?” I asked him as he lightly caressed my chest
with just the tip of his fingers.

“A lot of things. I was worried that people would
think it was weird that I was talking to you. I was
worried that you would reject me…”

“You’re the most popular guy in our class,” I
interrupted.

“Maybe, but you’re definitely the hottest guy in our
class,” he told me with a grin. I flipped him over
and we started making out some more.

Flo was happy that I was in a relationship, and it
felt really good to just be able to be myself around
her and Aaron.

“Are you gonna tell your folks?” Flo asked me one
day while I was hanging out with her after school.

“Are you crazy?!” Momma would probably love

me no matter what, but I knew George would never
be able to accept me as gay. He probably already
thought I was a homosexual, but that was still
different than me coming out and verifying it to
him.

As Aaron and I got closer and closer, I started
wishing I could just be myself all the time. Aaron
wanted to come out of the closet at school and to
his family. That put me in a difficult spot though,
because then people would probably assume I was
gay too, since they knew he and I were close.

“I’ll tell him that we’re just friends,” he told me. I
was still apprehensive to the idea though. I knew
that coming out of the closet wasn’t such a hard
thing for him. He had a loving and supportive
family, and was so popular at school that his
coming out would probably make it the cool thing
to do. I, on the other hand, had more to lose.
People at school would probably leave me alone,
because of their respect for Aaron. But, it could
very well get back to my family.

“I don’t know what I’d do if George found out,” I
told Aaron. He said he understood, but I think he
really didn’t understand how much George seemed
to dislike me anyways. He had never met Momma
or George and probably thought I was just
exaggerating.

Chapter 7

Aaron soon found out exactly what reaction my
family had to me being gay.

I had been spending a lot of time with Flo and
Aaron, and Momma asked me one day if Flo was
my girlfriend.

“No, Momma. We’re just friends,” I told her as
she put away the clothes of mine she had washed
and folded while I was at school.

“Well, you two spend a lot of time together,” she
explained.

“I spend a lot of time with her and Aaron,” I said.
Immediately, I knew it was something I shouldn’t
have said. Momma looked at me worried when
she asked if I liked Aaron as more than a friend.
“No,” I lied, “He’s just one of my best friends.”
My pulse was starting to race and I hoped that
Momma would just accept my lie and leave me

alone.

Instead, she continued. “You know, you can tell
me if you like someone. It’ll be just between you
and me.”

I wanted to tell her. Momma and I used to be so
close and with Tim gone it felt like I didn’t have
any close family left. Maybe if I opened up to
Momma we could have that bond back. I sat their
quietly for a few minutes, trying to get up the nerve
to tell her that Aaron was my boyfriend and that I
was gay. As she turned to leave my room, I finally
blurted it out. “I’m gay, Momma!” I said.

“It’s okay,” she said as she hugged me. “I love
you no matter what.” It felt good to have her arms
around me again, and to know that everything was
going to be alright. I felt a huge sense of relief.

It was short lived though. Just after dinner, George
came barreling into my room. “What the fuck is
wrong with you, you pervert?!” he yelled.

“What?” I started to ask, but he grabbed me by the

neck and drug me out of the room.

“I won’t have some faggot living under my roof,”
he continued. I looked up and saw Momma
standing against the wall, frightened. Her eyes
told me that she betrayed me and told George that I
was gay.

“Momma, please! Help me,” I plead.

“You Momma doesn’t make the rules here, faggot.
I do, and you’re no longer our son.” I didn’t really
care about being George’s son, since he never
treated me like one anyway. I couldn’t believe that
Momma was just standing by and letting George
throw me out. He drug me all the way out of the
building and threw me down on the ground. I was
scared, but I didn’t shed a tear.

After I dusted myself off, and calmed down a little,
I called Flo and told her what happened. “I have
nowhere to go,” I told her. George didn’t even let
me take any clothes or belongings.

“Hold on,” she told me while she went to ask her

parents if I could come over and stay with them. I
had only met her Mom once and her Dad twice, but
they both seemed like good people. “They said
you can come over here and stay,” she told me
when she got back on the phone.

Once I got to her house, everyone was very
welcoming and supportive. Flo had told her
parents that I was gay, but they still wanted to
make sure I slept in a different room. Fortunately
for me, Flo’s older brother was away at college
and I could use his room. He had some clothes
that would fit me as well.

Everyone tried to make me feel at home, but I still
felt like a visitor, and just wanted the comfort of
my own room again.

Chapter 8

After a few days of staying at Flo’s I felt that my
welcome was wearing off. They were nice
people, but they didn’t need another mouth to feed,
or to be right in the middle of my drama.

“Can I stay with you?” I asked Aaron.

“Logan, you know I care a lot about you,” Aaron
started, “but, I don’t think my parents would like
that.” I was surprised by Aaron’s answer and felt
very hurt. I was used to people not really caring
for me, but I thought that Aaron would be
different. I was in a difficult situation and needed
help, and expected him to at least ask his parents.
But, he didn’t seem willing to do even that.

It stuck in my mind the entire next period, and I
decided that I was just going to leave school and
go back to Flo’s house once that period was over.

Flo’s mother was home, and was surprised to see

me knocking on the door. “I’m going back home,”
I explained. “I’ve worked things out with my
parents, and don’t want to overstay my welcome.”
It was a lie, but I didn’t want to tell her my real
plans.

“Oh, you were no bother,” she told me. “Anytime
you need a place to stay, our door is always
open.” I knew she meant it, but I also knew that
she was glad to have her home back to normal.

I decided I was going to go visit Tim at college.
He was the only family that seemed to care for
me. I hadn’t talked to him in a while, and wasn’t
even sure if he knew about George kicking me out.
Instead of calling him, though, I just planned on
showing up at his dorm.

Tim’s college wasn’t very far away, but it still
took me quite a while to get there. I didn’t have
any money for a bus, so I had to hitch my way
there.

I didn’t arrive until late that night, and Tim was
definitely surprised to see me. I was lucky to

catch him. Apparently, it was a school break and
most of the students were away. “What are you
doing here, Logan?” he said as he wrapped me in
his arms and gave me a huge hug.

“What? I can’t visit my big brother?” I asked.

“Get in here,” he said. As I entered his dorm,
there was a little dinette table to the right of the
door and a small kitchen to the left. The living
room was straight ahead. It contained a small
loveseat and matching chair, and a tiny television.

“Where’s your room?” I asked, and Tim showed
me to his small room. The dorm was set up for
four students, but Tim told me that the room next to
his was actually empty, so he told me I could crash
there that night.

“So, really,” Tim said, “what’s going on?” I
didn’t know how to start. As I tried to find the
words, I just started crying. “Hey,” Tim said,
“don’t cry….it’s okay.”

I sat down and told Tim everything…everything

about how I became friends with Aaron, and how I
was gay. Tim didn’t seem surprised. I kept
rambling on, telling him about how I told Momma
and how she told Tim’s Dad. I was afraid to stop
talking because I didn’t want Tim to say anything
judgmental after I finished. It shouldn’t have been
any surprise to me though, that Tim was
completely supportive. After I told him how
George threw me out, Tim just hugged me and told
me that he loved me.

“You can stay here as long as you need,” Tim told
me.

“Thank you,” I said. I was still pretty emotional
and asked Tim if I could sleep with him like the
old days. “I’ll sleep on the floor,” I told him to
help convince him. His bed was pretty small so I
wasn’t sure we’d both fit in it anyways.

“Of course, you can sleep in here with me.” After
brushing our teeth, I took a quick shower and met
Tim back in his room. Tim had me crawl in bed
with him and it didn’t take long for me to fall

asleep.

I must have slept half the day away. Around two
in the afternoon, Tim woke me up so we could go
grab some lunch.

While we were out at lunch, some of Tim’s friends
came by and told him there was a back to school
party the next night at one of the Fraternity houses.
“Man,” I told Tim, “looks like you’ve got it made
here at school.”

“Well, there is school work too, which can
sometimes be pretty hard,” Tim reminded me.
“But, yeah…I’m happy.”

Tim ended up taking me to the party with him the
next night. After a while, though, I got separated
from him. I didn’t really know my way back to the
dorm, so I just tried to hang out. I figured I’d run
back into Tim sooner or later. I didn’t think he’d
leave without me.

“Hey! Here.” A guy had come up to me and
offered me a cup of punch. The guy seemed to be a

little older than me…probably a sophomore or
junior.

“Thanks,” I told him, taking the drink he offered
me.

“What’s your name?” he asked me. He was cute,
so I told him. We sat there and drank a few drinks,
which turned out to be spiked, and I told him that I
was visiting my brother. “I knew you didn’t look
familiar. Usually, it’s the same guys at these
parties.”

It didn’t take too long before I was feeling really
woozy, and light headed. I never had really drank
before, so the alcohol went right to my head. I
don’t really remember the next several hours, but I
think I left the party with Marty, the guy who had
brought me the drink.

All I really remember is making out some and
eventually vomiting…a lot. I woke up feeling like
my head was about to explode, but I quickly
became aware that Tim probably didn’t know
where I was. “I gotta go,” I told Marty before

grabbing my shoes and shirt and running out the
door.

When I got back to Tim’s dorm, he chewed me out
for disappearing without letting him know…but I
could tell it was only because he was worried
about me.

“I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.”

“Good,” Tim said. “So, where were you?” I told
him that I met a guy named Marty and that I was
hanging out with him all night. Tim told me he
knew who I was talking about but didn’t really
know anything about him.

The next day, I hung out with Marty again. He
tracked me down and asked me to another party.
This time, Tim decided to stay at the dorm. He
was fine with me going out, as long as I kept him
posted on where I was and when I would be back.

I ended up getting even drunker this time with
Marty. We ended up hitting a second party once
the first one ended. Marty passed me a joint at that

party. I had never smoked weed before, or done
any drugs before, but I didn’t want to seem like a
little kid to him so I took a hit. Marty laughed as it
made me cough.

Just like the night before, the next few hours were
hazy. I know I smoked a lot, but I also think Marty
gave me more than just weed. I always looked
down on people that did drugs, but it did feel good
to finally feel relaxed…to not have to worry about
things at least for a few hours.

It didn’t take Tim long to see that I was becoming a
pot head. “Hey, Logan…come here,” he told me
when I woke up one day.

“What’s up?” I asked.

“We need to talk.” My stomach started churning
and I got a lump in my throat. No good
conversation ever starts with those words.

“Okay…”

“I just wanted to see how you’re doing. I’m
worried about you.” I could tell Tim was referring

to the drugs and the late nights, but he was trying to
be delicate and not make me feel like he was
accusing me of anything.

“I’m okay.” I told him. I sensed that it was going
to be a problem if I stayed, so I made up a lie
about having a friend I wanted to go visit. I didn’t
really have anywhere to go, but it was better than
getting kicked out and feeling rejected by my own
brother.

“Are you sure?” Tim asked. Maybe he knew there
really was no friend to visit or he just wanted to
have a clear conscience one I had left. “You know
you can stay here as long as you want.”

“I know. I really have to go though.” I got up and
started making the bed so Tim couldn’t see the
tears that were starting to form in my eyes. “I just
gotta take a shower and then I’m gonna catch a
bus.”

After I came out of the shower, and got the spare
room straightened up, Tim handed me some money,
and told me to call him if I needed anything. We

hugged each other tightly, for what felt like an
eternity. It felt so good and safe, that I didn’t ever
want to let go.

As Tim closed the door behind me, I let the tears
loose.

Chapter 9

I didn’t really have a bus to catch, since I had
nowhere to go. I ended up walking for a few
hours, and eventually hitched a ride to the state
line. The guy who picked me up was a trucker,
and seemed nice enough. We made small talk until
he dropped me off at a rest stop.

The rest stop was like a nice park, with nice
landscaping, a picnic area, and even a nice bridge
that overlooked a creek. I found a nice quiet spot
and sat down to try to figure out what I wanted to
do next. Eventually I dozed off to sleep.

“Hey!” I was awoken by a guy nudging me with
his boot. “Wake up!”

As I looked up, it was a police officer. I was
afraid he was going to arrest me, but he just told
me that I couldn’t loiter in the rest area.

“I’m sorry, Sir. I had a fight with my girlfriend

and she left me here. I’m waiting on my brother to
pick me up now.” It was a lie, but I think it was
convincing enough for the police officer.

“I’ll have to wait with you, to make sure he comes
to get you,” the officer said. Now that my eyes
were open and we had moved to where there was
more light, I saw that he was about six feet tall and
probably around forty-five years old. He looked
fit, and in-shape, but his age showed in the
wrinkles around his eyes.

“I’m sure he’ll be here in just a few minutes,” I
lied. I was hoping I could get the officer to leave.

He just sat there quietly, before pulling out a
cigarette. “You want one?” he asked me. I
declined with a nod. “Or do you like to smoke
something a little harder? I can smell the pot on
you, you know.”

I didn’t know what to say. I probably looked like
a deer caught in someone’s headlights. “My
girlfriend was smoking,” I told him, trying to think
quickly. “That’s what we were having the

argument about.”

“Too bad,” the officer said. “I was going to offer
to share a joint with you.” With that, he pulled a
joint out of his shirt pocket. I must have betrayed
my lie by the look of lust in my eyes, because he
proceeded to light it, take a drag off of it, and then
offered me the joint.

I took it, and took a long hit off of it, making sure
to inhale and hold it in as long as I could. The
officer just laughed. “This is some good shit,” I
said.

“I figured you’d like it, but you don’t get anything
for free,” the officer said with a smirk.

“Shouldn’t you have named the price before letting
me smoke with ya?” I asked. I guess the pot was
making me feel more relaxed and bold.

The officer grabbed me by the throat, and pushed
me hard into the side of his patrol car. “Listen to
me closely, asshole. I know you’re not waiting on
anyone to pick you up. No one probably even

knows you’re here.” I know my eyes must have
betrayed me and told him that he was right on the
money with his assumptions. He went on to tell
me he could have me arrested for doing pot if he
wanted to.

I wanted to argue that he framed me and ask how
he could arrest me for something he offered me and
was doing with me, but instead I just asked him
what he wanted.

“What I want, and what I’m going to get is a nice,
slow, wet blow job from you.” I know I should’ve
been afraid, but my hardening dick told me I was
getting turned on by the idea of sucking this hot
officer’s cock. “Yeah, I see you like that. I’m
gonna use your faggot mouth like it’s a tight, wet
pussy,” he whispered in my ear before pushing me
to my knees.

He didn’t wait for even a second before unzipping
his pants and pulling out one of the longest and
thickest cocks I’ve ever seen. This dick was what
pornos were made of. It had to be at least ten

inches long and as thick as a bottle of aspirin.

At first, he let me lick the head that was already
leaking precum. Before I could even get used to
that, he grabbed the side of my head and pushed
hard to load his cock into my throat. I gagged hard
and tried to back up, but he held my head in place.
Once I calmed down, I was able to get used to it.
He pulled all the way out and then rammed it back
into my mouth, making sure to go farther than
before. This continued until my throat was filled
with all ten inches. I could feel the mushroom
head stretching my throat. I felt helpless, but was
proud of myself that I was able to take it all and
had stopped gagging.

“That’s it, boy. Take my fat cock down your tight
pussy throat!” he growled as he bucked his hips
back and forth.

Now that I was getting into it, I grabbed his ass,
and found his hole with my fingers. I used one
finger to massage his ass hole before inserting it
into his very tight hole.

He must have liked it because he yelled, “Fuck
yeah!” and started face fucking me even harder. It
only took a few more seconds for him to shoot his
hot load down my throat. He took his spasming
cock out of my throat and shot another to ropes
onto my tongue and lips. His cum tasted bitter but
not completely unpleasant.

Once he was done, he took out his wallet and
threw a twenty dollar bill on the ground with
another joint, and got in his car to drive off.

It was then that I figured out I could use sex to get
what I needed, whether that was drugs or a place
to stay.

There were a few days that I ended up eating food
from a fast food dumpster, but most days I was
able to find a guy that wanted to fuck my face or
mouth. A few wanted me to fuck them as well.
Usually I’d hang outside of a bar to find someone
to take me home with them. It wasn’t too hard to
tell which guys were interested. They’d stare at
me for a little while, or try to make small talk over

a cigarette.

I usually didn’t mind the sex, even though most of
the guys I went home with were older guys who
liked being with a hot young stud like me. I
thought of it as a job. My pay was the meals I got
and the roof over my head. Some of the men
would even give me enough money to allow me to
stay in a motel for a few days and not have to
hook-up with anyone.

Chapter 10

After a few months of prostituting myself, I met
Dirk. Dirk was only twenty-seven, and six-foot
three. He had an athletic body, with pretty defined
muscles from his job as a roofer. At first, I just
hooked up with him for the same reasons I always
hooked up….a place to stay and something to eat
or drink. Some pot or alcohol was a nice
addition. But, once I got to his place, I was able to
get a better look at Dirk. He had a beautiful face.
It wasn’t perfect, since he had a scar above his
right eyebrow, and a nose that looked like it was
broken at least once. But, he had full red lips, and
the most beautiful blue eyes I’d ever seen.

We spent the night fucking. First he fucked me
doggie-style, and then I fucked him. After smoking
a joint, we tried a few more positions. I was used
to guys that were done after fifteen minutes, but
Dirk was able to go half the night. He was so sexy
that I didn’t mind at all, though.

In the morning, as he was getting ready for work, I
expected him to rudely kick me out. That’s what
usually happened with guys. Instead, Dirk said I
could stay if I wanted. “Are you sure?” I asked.
“You’re not afraid I’m going to rob you blind?”

“Are you?” he asked. He was a man of few
words. He didn’t talk dirty in bed, and didn’t
really say much most of the time. I told him that I
had no plans to rob him. He just lightly chuckled
and added, “Good. I’ll see you when I get off
work then.”

I lay back down and enjoyed being in a nice home,
all alone. I slept a lot longer than I usually did, but
finally woke up around four in the afternoon. After
showering and washing my clothes that were
starting to smell, I searched for something to eat.
There wasn’t much to snack on, but I did see some
meat in the freezer. I decided to make something
in the crock pot Dirk had stored away on top of his
kitchen cabinets. Maybe if I make him a nice meal,
he’ll let me stay another day, I thought to myself.

And, he did. In fact, I stayed a few months.
Neither of us said it, but I felt like Dirk and I were
boyfriends, and it felt nice.

Towards the end of my stay, I learned that Dirk
had a temper. It was something that I never saw
before, but after a bad day at work he came home
and slammed the front door. “Where the fuck are
you?” he yelled.

“What’s wrong, Dirk?” I asked. I had never seen
him this mad before. I thought maybe I had done
something wrong.

“Can’t you do anything around here?” he asked.
“Look at this place. It’s a fuckin’ pig pen.” He
pushed a pile of books from the table onto the
floor. I had wanted to get a normal job, so I could
make my own money and not depend on Dirk so
much, but he never wanted me to work. Instead, I
tried to make his meals and keep the house clean
so I wasn’t sure what he thought was so messy. I
had just vacuumed, dusted, and mopped the floors.
All of the dishes were even clean, except the ones

being used for dinner.

I tried to calm him down, but that just got Dirk
angrier. He called me a whore when I tried to let
him know that I loved him and was trying my best.
“Just get the fuck out, whore!” he kept yelling at
me.

“You don’t mean that,” I said. I was starting to
cry. I didn’t know what had come over Dirk, but
he was acting like I was nothing to him. I tried to
hug him, but he slapped me across the face, before
attacking me. I found myself in a head lock and he
was punching me side and back over and over
while cutting off my air supply. I tried to tell him
that I couldn’t breathe but I’m sure he didn’t hear
me. Eventually, I just tried to be as still as
possible and play dead just so he’d let me go.

He did stop once I stopped struggling, and
retreated to the bathroom where I heard the shower
turn on. I got up as fast as I could and ran out of
the house and down the street. I wanted to get as
far away as I could in case he came looking for

me. I was afraid for my life and wasn’t going to
let my love for Dirk get me killed.

Chapter 11

I made it to a gas station, where I was able to calm
down. I saw a pay phone and decided to call
home.

“Hello?” I hear Momma say as she answered the
phone.

After the message came on asking her if she would
accept the charges for the collect phone call, I
heard a beep. I wasn’t sure if that meant she
accepted or not, but I said “Momma?”

“Logan, how are you?” I could hear her voice
tremble as she asked. I wasn’t sure if it was just
because she missed me or if it was because she
was afraid of my answer. Either way, it was so
good to hear her voice again. Even though it had
only been a few months since I left home, it felt
like I had aged years. I no longer felt like the
seventeen year old boy that Momma probably
remembered.

“I’m good Momma,” I told her. It was a lie, but I
didn’t want her to worry about me or feel guilty for
letting George kick me out. “I miss you,” I added.

There was a long silence. I thought I heard
Momma cry, but she cleared her throat and started
talking again. “I miss you too, Logan.” Her voice
suddenly sounded so formal.

“Can I come home?” I asked. My voice cracked,
because I was so nervous. I knew George couldn’t
accept me since he knew I was gay. I had hoped
that time without me had made Momma miss me
enough to convince him that I was her son and
deserved a place in their family.

“Logan, you know I love you but I cannot go
against George.” Momma’s words echoed in my
ears as my legs buckled from underneath me. I just
wanted to be held again and taken care of. Before
I knew it, I was crying and had snot running from
my nose.

“I’m your son, Momma!” I yelled. I know people
were probably looking at me, but I didn’t care. I

couldn’t believe that she would choose to stand by
George instead of her own son. “How can you just
stand by and watch me become homeless? I’ve
been raped and had to sell my body just to eat and
have a roof over my head. Is that what you
wanted, Momma?” I was now screaming with a
horse voice.

Momma said nothing in return. Instead, I just
heard a soft click and then the dial-tone from the
phone. Momma had hung up on me. I buried my
face in my hands and just cried. I used my shirt to
wipe the tears and snot from my face, but the tears
just kept flowing.

Chapter 12

“Hey, are you alright? Do you need help?” I heard
someone ask as I was tapped on the shoulder. I
raised my head to see an older guy with his hand
outstretched.

“I’m okay,” I said as I used my shirt to wipe my
face again.

“I’m not trying to call you a liar, but it doesn’t
really look that way,” the mad replied. He had a
kind face. He was a little overweight…not really
the type I would normally look for when searching
for a “john.”

“Well, I will be okay,” I told him.

“How old are you?” he asked.

“Eighteen.” I always answered that I was eighteen
when a guy asked, but this time it was actually
true. It was my birthday…and a pretty rotten one
at that.

“Let me buy you lunch,” the man offered even
though it was dinner time. “My name’s James, by
the way.”

“Logan,” I told him, as I followed him to his car. I
didn’t have anywhere to go and was hungry. I
hadn’t slept with guys for money in a long time, but
I did need a place to stay for the night. Besides
that, I wanted to leave the gas station in case Dirk
was looking for me.

Over lunch at a fast food place, James asked what
was wrong, but I told him I just had an argument
with my Momma. “Is she the one that was
pounding on you?” he asked. He must’ve seen the
bruises that had already formed when I lifted my
shirt to wipe my face.

“No, that was someone else,” I answered.

“Seems like you’re having a pretty bad day,” he
said. It made me laugh, which was the point I
guess…but the laughing hurt my ribs and bruises.

I told him about Dirk and the fight I had. I couldn’t
tell if he was surprised I was gay or not. Probably
not, since he was picking me up. Then, I told him
about my call with Momma and all of the stuff that
happened when I came out to her.

“That sucks,” he said. It’s hard to believe a Mom
wouldn’t stick by her son…her own flesh and
blood.” I don’t know why I was telling James my
life story, but he made me feel comfortable.
Maybe I just had so much pain trapped inside that I
had to get it all out, and it was nice to just have a

sympathetic ear listening to me.

Once I was stuffed, James offered to let me come
home with him. “You’re definitely eighteen?” he
said before we headed there, though.

“Yeah, today is my birthday.”

“Man, it has been a bad day for you,” he said as
we got back in his car. He lived about ten minutes
away, in a nice but small split-level home.

He gave me a tour of the house, and introduced me
to his dog, Mr. Tugglytoes. When we got to his
bedroom, he asked if I was tired. “Yeah, a little,”
I told him.

“Well, you can take the bed, and I’ll crash on the
couch tonight,” he said.

“We can share the bed,” I offered as I brushed my
hand across his crotch.

“Um, no,” he replied as he grabbed my hand. “I
didn’t ask you here for sex, Logan. I just wanted to
help because you looked like you needed it.” He

went on to tell me that he was straight. “I have
been curious from time to time about being with a
guy, but I have no intensions of taking advantage of
you.”

I didn’t want to sound rude, but I didn’t really
believe him. He seemed genuine, but so had others
I had met. Dirk seemed like he really cared for me
and then turned psycho on me. I had no intensions
of letting my guard down again. Still, James was
helping me and didn’t seem to want anything from
me tonight at least. “Thank you,” I said.

“You’re welcome, Logan.”

“Can you share the bed anyways with me?” I
asked. I was used to sharing a bed, and didn’t
really want to be alone on my birthday. After
reiterating that there would be no sex, James
agreed. In fact, we both slept in our clothes.

Chapter 13

James let me stay with him for more than just the
one day. We never had sex, but became really
good friends. He was thirty-seven years old, and
had never been married. In fact, his relationship
with his dog was his longest he would often joke.

“You know,” he told me one morning at breakfast,
“we need to get you a job. A real job,” he
stressed. He didn’t come right out and say it, but it
was understood that he didn’t want me out
prostituting myself any more. My second day with
James, he sat me down and talked to me about the
conditions of my living there. “There will be no
prostituting anymore, and no drugs or alcohol if
you want to stay here,” he said. “Is that clear?”

I told him it was. In case I was just feeding him
the words he wanted to hear, he went on to tell me
that if I broke those rules even once, I’d be asked
to leave. He was a generous guy, but I knew he

meant it. And, I had no trouble agreeing to those
rules because I could tell his only reason for the
rules was to help me make my life better.

As we talked about what kind of job I would like, I
told him that I’d first need to get a social security
card and a driver’s license.

“You don’t have a driver’s license?” he said. I
told him I didn’t, and he got out his laptop so we
could order a birth certificate for me. I would
need that to get the license and the social security
card. “Okay, now that that’s done, we need to
teach you how to drive,” he said.

We took the car to a run-down shopping center that
had closed down the majority of its stores and
James had me hop behind the driver’s seat. “What
do I do?” I asked. I was embarrassed to say that I
had never attempted to drive and barely knew
anything about it. I knew that the gas pedal was on
the right, and the brake was on the left, but that was
about it.

James explained that he wanted me to just practice

pressing very lightly on the gas to go, and lightly
brake when he told me to stop. I was sure glad he
had an automatic instead of a manual car. I knew I
couldn’t handle driving a stick-shift.

It didn’t take me too long to get comfortable with
accelerating and braking. “Great,” James said.
“Now, we’re going to focus on driving inside of a
lane.” He instructed me to drive down the lane in
front of the building, where there were still painted
lines for me to follow.

While I drove, and began to feel more confident,
James told me about the rules of the road, and the
proper way to look behind myself if I needed to
back up. He said that’s what made him fail his
driving test three times.

On the way home, we stopped and picked up a
driving manual from the DMV, so I could study it
for both the written and driving test.

We practiced driving a few more times before I
took my test and James said I was a natural. He
said it was good that I learned a little late how to

drive and that he was the one that taught me
because it kept me from picking up some bad
habits that most sixteen year olds pickup because
they want to be cool and reckless.

I was nervous, but managed to pass my test on the
first try. Even though I was required to learn how
to parallel park, the driving instructor never asked
me to do it. I was relieved because that’s the one
thing I was most nervous about.

“Let’s celebrate,” James said when we left the
DMV with my new license in hand. I liked that
James work for himself, from home, because it
gave him the freedom to spend more time with me
and help me with things like getting my license.
He even said he’d drive me back and forth to work
once I got a job.

We went out to a Mexican restaurant to celebrate.
James ordered a margarita since he said I could
drive him home. We shared a double order of
steak fajitas and talked about the kind of job I
would try to get. I told him I didn’t really know

how to do anything.

“Well, what would you like to do?” he asked.

“I don’t know. I don’t think I’d be good at
anything manual labor-ish. Maybe being a
waiter,” I suggested. “There’s good money in that,
right?”

“If you’re good at it,” he joked.

While we ate, I watched our waiter, Juan, so I
could study how he carried the trays of food, and
how he refilled our drinks without asking. I was
getting pretty exciting to start a job and have a
normal life, finally.

The next day, I went out to find a job. I filled out
several applications and talked to the managers at
each of the restaurants. Most weren’t interested in
hiring a waiter that has no experience. Finally, I
did get an interview from the manager of a chain
restaurant in the mall near the house.

After telling, Sandy, the manager about my
background and my need for a job, she agreed to

take a chance on me. “You’re going to have to
train for two weeks, though,” she told me. “So,
you won’t be making any tips at first.” That was
fine with me…I just wanted a chance.

I used those two weeks to study the menu, so I’d
know it inside and out. The girl training me was
really nice. Her name was Chelsea and she didn’t
seem to mind that I asked a lot of questions. She
was a black girl with a really bubbly personality,
and many of her customers were regulars at the
restaurant just because she was so friendly. She
averaged seventy-five dollars a shift, which
wasn’t too bad for a six hour shift. I was hoping
I’d do as well once I was on my own.

I never got a chance to find out though. When I got
home on my last day of training, James told me I
had a message.

“A message?” I asked.

“Yeah. A phone message,” he told me, “from your
brother.”

How Tim even knew I was here, I wasn’t sure. I
called him back. “Hey, Tim, how did you know
where to find me?” I asked when he picked up the
phone on the first ring.

“You gotta come home,” he told me. “Now!” The
next words out of his mouth knocked the wind out
of me. Suddenly, none of the progress I had made
in life mattered any longer….

The

Homecoming

Reunion

John Green

Chapter 1

Finding out that Momma was in the hospital in
Intensive Care was hard to handle. As I hung up
the phone, I felt numb.

“What’s wrong?” James asked me.

“It’s Momma,” I told him. “Tim said she’s been in
an accident and is in the hospital.” I pulled out a
seat and just sat there stunned. I’m not sure what
happened but according to Tim, Momma fell down
the stairs in the house she and George, my step-
father, had moved into last year.

James took over and checked on bus schedules for
me to go home, as well as purchasing a ticket for
me. “Do you want me to call your work for you?”
he asked. I could see he was worried about me.
We had gotten pretty close since I met him at the
gas station a few months ago.

In some ways James was like a father to me…the

only father I’d really ever known. Unlike George,
he tried to nurture me and lead me by example. He
always looked out for my well-being, and helped
me overcome the obstacles I was facing in life.
Now that I was going to have to return to
Louisiana, I was going to miss having James there
as a positive influence in my life, and just someone
to talk to each day and lean on.

“No, I’ll call them,” I answered.

I hated to have to give up my job before I ever
really got a chance to work on my own, but Sandy,
the restaurant manager, said that she understood
and that I could come back anytime. “You just take
care of your Momma,” she told me before wishing
me good luck. She knew some of my background
with George from the interviews I had before
getting hired, so she knew I would need the luck.

There wasn’t a bus until the next morning, so I took
my time to pack. I packed some of the clothes
James had bought me after I started living with
him. I’d never had anyone be that nice to me for

no reason before. I cannot believe I tried to give
him a blow job the first night as payment. He was
nothing like the other guys I had known. It was
nice to know there are still some good people out
there. The next morning when he dropped me off
at the bus station, he gave me some extra money
just in case I needed it.

“I’m sure I’ll be alright,” I told him.

“Either way, take it. I’ll feel better knowing that
you have it in case anything happens.” I agreed to
take the money from James and gave him a big
hug. “And you better call me if you need anything
else,” he yelled at me as I was boarding the bus.

As I sat looking out the bus window, I waved
goodbye to him. I was surprised to see a tear
trickle down his cheek, but I guess he knew I might
not be coming back.

The road that lay ahead of me was sure to be a
bumpy one, so I tried to sleep the majority of the
way. I would need all the strength I could muster
to deal with George again.

Chapter 2

The bus ride was long, and the seats really weren’t
very comfortable. The one time I was able to get
to sleep, a little kid in the seat behind me woke me
up by kicking the back of my seat repeatedly. I
turned around a few times, and gave the kid and his
mother dirty looks without being too rude. The
lady did nothing to curb the behavior of her over-
exuberant son, though.

Even with the lack of sleep and comfort, the whole
bus ride was immediately forgotten when I saw
Tim outside the window waiting on me. He was
dressed in a pair of khaki pants, with a simple
powder-blue button down shirt. He was always a
good looking guy, but time had definitely helped
him look even better. His hair was still trimmed
short, as always, and his cheeks had a rosy glow,
likely from the cool air outside.

He looked around from window to window before

locking eyes with me. A sympathetic smile spread
across his face. I wanted to run off the bus and
give him a big hug and find out how Momma was
doing, but there was already a line of people
huddled in the isle waiting to get off the bus. I
knew I would have to wait for my luggage to be
unloaded anyways, so I sat patiently until a nice
older man allowed me to get out in front of him. I
nodded thank you before proceeding to exit the
bus.

“It’s good to see you,” Tim said, as he lifted me up
in a bear hug.

“I’ve missed you, too. But, how is Momma?” I
asked. It felt really good to be in Tim’s arms
again, but I wasn’t here for him. I needed to find
out how Momma was and see her.

“I’ll take you to see her,” Tim said with a serious
look. It didn’t slip past me that he didn’t really
answer my question. I could feel a sickness
forming in the pit of my stomach. I didn’t know
how I would do it, but I needed to try to prepare

myself for the worst.

Luckily, the hospital was only a few minutes from
the bus depot. As soon as Tim loaded my bags in
the back of his truck, we were on our way. He
tried to make small talk as he made the drive, but it
was hard for me to focus on anything but Momma.

I saw the hospital approaching and started getting
really nervous. We had to weave through a maze
to get to the parking garage, which I was surprised
was a paid parking lot. I never really thought of a
hospital as somewhere anyone should have to pay
to park at.

“I’m just going to warn you that she’s a little beat
up…well, banged up,” Tim told me as we rode the
elevator up to the fourth floor, where Momma’s
room was. I felt like I was going to vomit, but I
tried to breathe to calm myself down.

When we got to Momma’s room, the nurse told us
that she was sleeping and that we shouldn’t bother
her.

“I’m her son,” I told the nurse. “I just got here, and
need to see her. Can I just sit with her, quietly?”

The nurse was sympathetic and told me that I could
sit with Momma for a few minutes as long as I was
quiet and didn’t disturb her.

“I’ll wait out here,” Tim said, knowing that I might
want some privacy with Momma. I was very
thankful to have such a great big brother.

Momma was lying still in her hospital bed. She
looked peaceful…like she was just sleeping. I
could see black and purple bruises on her arm,
though. Her other arm was in a cast. I was
shocked at first, but had to try to calm down, for
Momma’s sake. At least she was in a hospital,
with plenty of doctors and nurses all around to take
care of her.

I sat there for a while, making sure not to disturb
Momma but was still told that my time was up
after only about thirty minutes.

“The nurse kicked me out,” I told Tim as I walked

back to the waiting room. He was sitting there all
alone, reading a magazine. Before I knew it, I just
started sobbing. I couldn’t stand seeing Momma
like that…not being able to help her or even hug
her was killing me.

Tim stood up and hugged me to calm me down.
“Hey,” he said, putting his hands on the sides of
my face. “It’s going to be okay.”

After I calmed down, Tim asked if I wanted to go
get something to eat in the cafeteria. “No,” I told
him. “I’m not leaving Momma until she wakes up
and I get to see how she is.”

“Well, let me at least go and get you a coffee or
something to help you stay awake.”

I didn’t know what I would do if I lost Momma. I
hadn’t seen her in a long time, but I didn’t want the
last memory to be of her hanging up on me when I
told her I needed help. In my mind, I replayed
everything about George kicking me out and all I
had been through since while Tim was off getting
us some coffees.

“Hey,” I heard him say when he returned, which
snapped me out of my thoughts. “What are you
thinking about?”

“Just all that happened since I left home,” I told
him. Tim didn’t know the majority of it, and I
wasn’t sure I wanted to tell him.

“I hadn’t heard from you in a while,” Tim told me.
“I actually had to track you down on the internet to
find you.”

“How did you find me?” I asked, curious how he
knew to call James’ place.

He told me about how he called around but none of
my friends had heard from me, so he turned to the
internet. After a few searches, he was able to pull
up some info that said I had a driver’s license.
From there, he was able to get the address, and
with that did a phone number search.

“It wasn’t easy,” he told me. “I’m glad I was able
to get a hold of you though. I wish it were under
better circumstances, but I did miss you, Logan.”

“I missed you too, Tim. But, I owe you an
apology.”

“For what?”

“Well, for a couple things,” I told him. “First,
there’s how I behaved when I was staying with
you. I wasn’t very respectful of you or your
place…what with staying out all night long and
getting hooked on alcohol and weed.”

“I didn’t like seeing you that way, but I knew you
were going through some things. Are you clean
now?” I could tell it was a question Tim didn’t
really want to ask, because he didn’t want to be
disappointed in me, but he was asking only
because he loved me and wanted me to be well.

“Yeah. I am. But, when I left your place, I didn’t
have a friend to go see. I left because I thought you
were going to kick me out.”

“I would never have kicked you out,” Tim
interrupted.

“Well, that’s what I owe you the second apology

for….because I lied to you about why I was
leaving.” I continued to tell Tim all about what
happened at the rest stop and how I started
prostituting myself for a place to stay, and more
drugs and alcohol.

“Man, baby bro. I’m so sorry you had to go
through that.” Tim started to get choked up as he
was talking and it was making me feel like I would
start crying any minute.

“Stop that…you’re gonna make me cry,” I told him
which made him laugh…and lightened up the mood
a little bit.

I told him that I met Dirk and that things got a little
more normal for a little while. At least I had a
home to live in instead of going from place to
place each day.

Finally, I got to the part where I met James and he
took me in and wanted nothing in return, except to
see me succeed in life.

“He sounds like a good dude,” Tim told me as he

finished his cup of coffee. I had barely even
started on mine yet…I was so busy talking Tim’s
ear off.

“He is. I think you’d really like him.” Hopefully
one day, Tim and James would get to meet.

I remembered that I never called James to let him
know I made it home safely, so Tim let me borrow
his cell phone. As I was about to tell James
goodbye, I saw a doctor come out and talk to Tim.

“She has a lot of internal injuries. She is awake
now, so you can go visit her, but you need to keep
it brief. She’s got a long battle ahead of her and
needs all of the rest she can get,” I heard the doctor
say as I approached. Since I only heard the tail
end of the conversation, the doctor went back
through it all, so I’d know where things stood.
Momma was still fighting for her life, and the next
few days would tell if she would make it or not.

As I walked in the room, I saw Momma try to
smile at me. Her voice was horse and it seemed
as though her breathing was shallow. She

managed to call me over to her though.

“How are you, Momma?” I asked, as I pulled up a
chair next to her bed and held her hand.

“I’m sor- sorry, Logan.” I knew it must be painful
for Momma to talk, so I tried to tell her to just save
her voice. She needed to tell me something
though. It was coming out almost as a whisper, so
I had to lean my ear closer to hear her over the
medical machines and traffic in the hallway. “I
didn’t want to let George hurt you.”

I wasn’t sure if she was trying to apologize for
letting George kick me out of the house, or say that
she let him in order to protect me from him. “Did
George do this to you, Momma?”

She didn’t answer right away, but I could tell from
the look in Momma’s eyes that he did. Finally, she
nodded her head yes, before starting to cry. I told
her that I understood and that I loved her, and sat
with her until she fell back to sleep.

Chapter 3

I was fuming by the time Tim and I left the
hospital. I couldn’t believe that Momma might die
because of what George had done to her. Well, I
could believe it…that was the problem.

“I need to see George!” My voice was cold, and I
didn’t bother making eye contact with Tim. I just
walked with a purpose to the elevator.

Tim scrambled behind. “What is it?” he asked.
“Did my Dad do that to your Mom?”

“Yes, and he’s going to learn never to put his
hands on anyone ever again.” I knew I probably
didn’t match George in strength, but I was
determined to hurt him as much as he hurt
Momma.

On the ride back to George’s and Momma’s house,
Tim tried to calm me down. After a while I had
the feeling that Tim was taking the extra scenic

path just to prolong me getting revenge on George.

“Come on, Logan. Be smart. You can’t go in there
and start a fight with my Dad,” Tim tried to
reason.

“Oh, and I should just let him throw Momma down
a set of stairs?!” I yelled back.

“No. I’m on your side. If he did this-“

“There’s no if he did anything….he did it!” I
interrupted.

“Okay. So, what? You’re going to go in there,
fists blazing and try to put him in the hospital?
What happens if he puts you there first? Your
Mom needs you right now. She wouldn’t want you
doing this.” I knew Tim was making some good
points but I was too angry to think straight.

When we did get to George’s house, no one was
home. I paced back and forth, looking out the
windows waiting to see him pull up. I even found
myself looking around the house for items I could
use if George got the upper hand. I imagined

bashing his head in with a fire extinguisher.

I ended up falling asleep in a leather recliner in the
corner of the living room. I should’ve sat
somewhere else if I wanted to stay awake, but the
chair was the only seat positioned so I could see
the driveway from the living room windows.

SLAM!

I jolted awake, and saw George at the door, in his
grease-covered mechanic clothes. He looked like
he hadn’t slept in days, but he wasn’t going to get
any sympathy from me…not after he was
responsible for Momma being in the hospital.

“What are you doing here?” George asked, as if
everything was fine with Momma and there was no
reason for me to be in his house.

“Waiting for you,” I said. My voice was hard as
steel and I’m sure George knew why I was there.

“Ain’t no sissy coming in my house and
disrespecting me!”

He started walking towards me as if to threaten
me. “What? Are you going to throw me down the
stairs too?”

“Who do you think you’re fucking talking to?”
George asked, but it wasn’t really a question. It
was more of a threat.

I stood my ground though, as he approached me. “I
know what you did to Momma,” I told him.

He didn’t say anything back…he just grabbed me
and drug me to the door. It was like when I first
came out to Momma all over again.

“Don’t you ever bring your faggot ass around here
again,” he told me as he threw me from the front
porch onto the grass.

I saw the upstairs light turn on, and heard Tim
yelling at his Dad before coming out to check on
me.

“What happened?” he asked.

I told him that George just threw me out and that I

intended to call the police to have George
arrested. Tim tried to talk me out of it, but I
sensed it was only out of obligation to his Dad.

I didn’t feel right about asking Tim to use his cell
phone to call the police on his Dad, so I walked
down the road to the corner gas station and used a
pay phone. Tim didn’t try to stop me, but told me
he needed to be with his Dad when the police
came.

After I made the call, I walked back to George’s
house to wait. I didn’t want him to try to run
before the police arrived. I assumed Tim told him
what I was doing. I listened to them argue for the
better part of an hour before finally seeing the
police cars arrive.

The police read George his rights and then
handcuffed him, before leading him to their cars.
As he walked silently with them he glared at me
the entire time.

“Don’t you forget what I told you, Son,” he yelled
back to Tim before they closed the car door on

him.

“What’d he tell you?” I asked Tim…not even sure
if he was still talking to me. After all, I did have
his Dad arrested.

“He told me not to let you in the house,” Tim said.

“I’m sorry I had to put you in the middle of thi—,”
I started to say.

“Hey. I’m on your side, baby bro. I love my Dad
because he’s my Dad…but I love you and your
Mom too. What my Dad did wasn’t right…so get
your butt in here and get some sleep.”

“Are you sure?” Tim answered me by pulling me
into a big bear hug and then leading me up to the
front door.

That night, we shared a room, just like we did
when we were little. It was nice getting to be near
Tim again. I was so worried about Momma, and
having Tim beside me helped me calm down a
little and at least know that I wasn’t going through
it alone.

Chapter 4

I went back to the hospital the next day to visit
Momma again, but the doctors told me she was
doing worse and that I would have to let her rest.

While I was in the waiting room, some police
officers came in to speak with Momma’s doctor to
verify if the injuries she sustained appeared as
though they could’ve been inflicted during a
struggle. I overheard the doctor say that most of
her injuries were caused by the fall down the
stairs, but that she did have bruise marks on her
wrists and neck that were likely from a fight with
someone.

As the officers were walking away, I asked them if
George would remain locked up.

“Son, it looks as though your Step-Father will face
charges for this, but that’s really up to the D.A. to
decide. This case is severe enough that I don’t
think the case will be dropped. However, he still

could get bonded out.” The officer went on to tell
me that it was probably in my best interest to get a
restraining order from George as soon as
possible.

Tim was running some errands, but I asked him if
he would take me by the courthouse the next day so
I could get the restraining order. He was kind of
quiet, but agreed to take me. I wanted to ask him
what was on his mind, but I heard a large
commotion at Momma’s room.

“What’s going on?!” I yelled to try to be heard
over the commotion, but no one answered me.
Once they were able to stabilize Momma the
doctor explained to me that Momma was very
weak and her body was giving up.

“You can go visit her for a few minutes, but you
probably should say your goodbyes to her soon,”
the doctor told me.

I suddenly felt numb. The doctor basically just
told me that Momma was about to die, yet he
seemed like he was just giving me advice on

dating or something. It didn’t feel real to me. I
just had to focus on Momma, though. I knew she
could get better…she just needed the will to do
so.

“Hey, Momma,” I said with a smile as I sat down
next to her. I had planned on putting a fake smile
on my face when I saw her to keep her spirits up,
but when I saw her I was just so happy to be able
to have even a little time with her that the smile
came naturally. I wouldn’t focus on the negative.

“Are you okay?” Momma asked me, with a soft,
raspy whisper.

“I’m good. You look so beautiful, Momma.” She
smiled to that. It was hard to tell, but I’d like to
think she even blushed a little bit.

We talked for fifteen minutes, but I decided not to
tell her about George. I know she loved him for
whatever reason, and I didn’t want to chance
upsetting her. Instead we spoke only about happy
things. I told her all about how great Tim has
been, and that I planned to look up my old friends

while I was in town.

“I love you, Logan,” Momma said as I got up to let
her rest some more. A tear dropped from my eye
as I told her I loved her too.

I stuck around the hospital almost the entire day,
even though I wasn’t allowed to see Momma
again. I wanted to be there just in case.

Over the next few days, I did the same thing, other
than the hour I needed to get the restraining order
against George. I did get to talk to Momma a few
more times, and the doctors seemed to think she
was slowly gaining strength.

“She’s not out of the woods yet, but things do look
more optimistic,” they told me towards the end of
the week.

As I got used to the schedule of when I was
allowed to visit Momma and she was showing
more signs of getting better, I started spending less
time at the hospital.

I missed Flo and Aaron, and wanted to hang out

and catch up with them some while I was in town.
Tim took me to get a rental care for the week. I
met Flo at the restaurant she worked at one evening
before her shift.

“I missed you so much,” she told me as she ran to
hug me.

“I missed you too, but don’t knock me over,” I
replied with a laugh.

We sat around talking for close to an hour. I told
her about how I felt like there was no place for me
before, so I left. I also told her about how I
survived by prostituting myself, but made her
promise not to tell Aaron. I still had feelings for
him and didn’t want him to think poorly of me.

“Is that why you’re back in town? To sweep
Aaron off his feet?” she laughed.

I couldn’t believe I hadn’t told her about Momma
yet. I guess I thought maybe she already knew.
“No,” I told her, “I’m here because Momma is in
the hospital.” I told her all about how George had

thrown Momma down the stairs and she almost
died.

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” Flo said.

“It’s okay. She seems to be getting better, and
George is locked up.”

When the time came for me to say goodbye so Flo
could get to work, she suggested we hang out on
the weekend…just me, her and Aaron.

“That’ll be fun,” I told her.

Over the next two days, I found myself thinking a
lot about Aaron. I was surprised when Flo told me
he was single. The last time I saw Aaron, he was
being drooled over by every girl in school. I’m
sure he only looked hotter now, and could
probably have his choice of any guy or girl that he
wanted.

When the weekend arrived, I found myself with
sweaty palms as I waited outside the café we were
all to meet at for lunch. It was a really nice,
breezy day with a bright blue sky. If it weren’t for

Momma still being in the hospital, it would’ve
been a perfect day.

As I saw Flo get out of the driver’s seat of an
older, red Ford sedan I noticed that one of my legs
was shaking uncontrollably. It was a nervous habit
of mine. I had to focus hard to stop it and not start
it up again as I saw the passenger door of Flo’s car
open and Aaron step out.

“Hey, Stud,” he said with a sexy wink as he waved
hello to me. He looked even better than I
imagined. Time had only allowed him to get in
better shape, if that was even possible. He was
wearing a pair of faded jeans and a v-neck shirt.
The only other place I had ever seen guys as hot as
Aaron was now was on the movie screens at the
theaters.

I stood up and hugged Aaron as he got to the table.
I know I was holding on too long, because I saw
Flo give me a knowing glance. I didn’t care. I
was exactly where I wanted to be, and Aaron’s
arms around me felt more right than anything I had

felt since I left home and ran away.

The three of us talked almost until sundown. It
was then that I remembered I hadn’t been to see
Momma yet for the day.

“I gotta go, you guys. Sorry. Visiting hours at the
hospital will be up before long.” They
understood, and when I hugged them each goodbye,
I felt Aaron lightly kiss the side of my neck. In that
moment, I wanted him so badly. My dick began to
stiffen and if we weren’t outside and Flo wasn’t
there, I probably would’ve gotten it on with him on
the outside table. But, I needed to go see Momma.
Before I drove off, though, Aaron did give me his
number and I told him I’d call him when I got home
from the hospital.

“Drive safe,” Flo yelled as I left the shopping
plaza.

I stopped at the house really quickly to change
since I was getting all sweaty. I wanted to look
and smell nice for Momma.

“Where have you been?!” Tim yelled at me as I
entered the living room.

“I was out with Flo and…”

“Well, I’ve been trying to find you for the last hour
and a half!” he interrupted. “The hospital has been
calling you. Something is wrong with your Mom.”

Chapter 5

I immediately turned around and ran down the
porch steps to the car.

“Wait up,” Tim said. “I’m coming with you!”

I drove a little too fast, but I was lucky to not get
pulled over by the cops. Tim told me to pull up to
the curb and go in while he took my car to find a
parking space.

As I ran down the maze of hallways, I could feel
my heart racing. It wasn’t from the running, but
from worrying about Momma. What did the
hospital need to tell me?

As soon as I approached the nurse’s station, I was
told by the nurse that they would page Momma’s
doctor. Instead of waiting for the doctor, I ran to
Momma’s room but found it empty.

As I turned around I bumped right into Momma’s
main doctor.

“Where’s Momma? Did she have to have another
surgery?” I asked.

The doctor’s answer seemed almost surreal. I
remember him telling me that Momma had died
earlier in the day, but it seemed like it was a
dream. Momma couldn’t be dead!

The next thing I knew, I was at home on the couch.
Tim told me that I had fainted as he was coming
into the hospital. I was only out for a few seconds,
he said…but I don’t remember any of it. How did
Tim even get me home?

Tim was great, and took extra good care of me. I
just wanted to be left alone though. Left alone so I
could sleep. I didn’t care if I ever woke up.

Eventually, though, Tim convinced me that I
needed to be strong for Momma. I still had to take
care of her funeral. Momma wanted to be
cremated, partly because it was cheaper and partly
because she always thought it was a bit creepy to
have your body buried where people would be
walking over it in the cemetery all the time.

Tim did help me with all the details, and
surprisingly planning Momma’s funeral did keep
me so busy that I wasn’t able to focus on knowing
that Momma was gone forever. We picked out a
really nice urn for her ashes.

Even though there wasn’t a body to bury, we still
had a funeral for Momma. There weren’t many
people to invite, but Flo and Aaron did show up as
well as a few of Momma’s friends and neighbors.
I think Momma would’ve liked it.

I never did call Aaron when I got back from the
hospital the night Momma died. It was stupid, but
I almost blamed Flo and him for me not being with
Momma when she died. Deep down I knew it
wasn’t their fault, but I still felt anger and
resentment inside towards them. I guess it was
easier than being mad at myself.

Flo kept calling the house to get a hold of me.
That’s when Tim told her about Momma and the
funeral. I was happy to see my two friends at the
funeral, and was even touched by it…but it was

still too early for me to let go of the anger and talk
to them. I just kept myself busy until they left.

“You know, you can’t avoid them forever,” Tim
told me once we were back home.

“I’m not avoiding anyone,” I told him but we both
knew he was right.

A few days later, I did finally pick up the phone
when Aaron called to check on me. We arranged
to meet at the park by the house.

“Hey,” Aaron said as I walked up to the bench he
was sitting on.

“Hey.” Neither of us really knew how to start
things off. We ended up just sitting there for
several minutes in silence. I found it to be
comforting though.

“I’m sorry,” I finally said to him.

“For what?” Aaron asked.

“For blaming you guys because I wasn’t at the
hospital that day.”

He told me that it was fine for me to deal with
things however I needed to, but to just know that he
was there for me and always would be.

We ended up talking about the other time I was
mad at him…the time I ran away and left town for
what I thought was forever.

“I’m really sorry you thought that I didn’t care,” he
told me. “I know I should’ve asked my parents if
you could stay with us. I think I was just afraid
that things were moving along too fast.”

As we talked, it started to sprinkle on us and we
could see much darker clouds approaching, so
Aaron suggested we go back to his place.

When we got to Aaron’s house, his parents were
both home. I was half disappointed and half
relieved. It was good seeing them. Knowing that
they were home would keep Aaron and I from
moving too fast in the sex department. That was a
good thing, but I wanted to be with Aaron so
badly.

As Aaron and I sat on his bed talking and watching
TV his Mom poked her head in to remind Aaron
that they would be out late.

“Okay, Mom. Enjoy your reunion,” Aaron told
her. Both Aaron’s Mom and Dad went to the same
High School and it was their twenty-fifth reunion.

Once we heard them drive off, Aaron got up from
the bed and took his shirt off. He still was
wearing a wife-beater, but that almost made him
sexier looking than if he had no shirt on at all.

“Hey,” Aaron said. “I wanna ask you something.”

“Sure.”

“Where do we stand?” I got goose-bumps when he
asked me that. If he wanted to know where things
between us stood, there’s a good chance that he’d
like to get back together. I can honestly say that I
can’t remember disliking anything about Aaron. In
my eyes he was perfect and the thought of getting to
be his boyfriend washed all the sadness from my
life away.

I took a chance with my answer. “I like you,
Aaron. I think about you all the time.”

He smiled and told me that he thought about me all
the time too. I still hadn’t told him all about my
past though, and wasn’t sure I wanted to. But, if
we were going to have any chance together, I
needed to be honest with him. So, I sat there and
rambled on about the parts of my life that I was
most ashamed of. Aaron just sat quietly and let me
talk. I couldn’t tell if he was mad at me, or
disgusted by me, or what.

“Well, say something!” I shouted as I finished.

Aaron got up from the edge of the bed, and walked
over to the bedroom door. I figured he was going
to ask me to leave. Instead, he closed the door and
turned off the lights. As he walked back towards
me, he undid his jeans and let them drop to the
floor. He stood before me in just his boxers and
the wife-beater. I could smell the manly scent of
his sweat mixed with the intoxicating smell of his
cologne.

“How about instead of saying something, I let my
lips do the talking,” he answered. It was cheesy,
but sexy at the same time.

He leaned down to grab my hands, and pulled me
up so we were both standing up…one in front of
the other. I could feel Aaron’s breath on my neck
as he gently kissed it. His hands had found the
bottom of my shirt and he was lifting it gently up
and over my head. As he kissed my ear lobe, he
began undoing the button on my pants. As his hand
unzipped the zipper I felt a chill run through me.
He bent down as he lowered my pants so that he
could pull them off of my feet. As he did, he
caressed each leg and thigh softly. It didn’t take
long for him to notice my tenting boxer-briefs. He
found the head of my dick and kissed it as well.
That kiss was as soft and gentle as all of the
others. Once he made his way back up to a
standing position, he began kissing me with more
power and passion. Our lips found each other as
our tongues perfectly danced together. I was in
heaven!

We ended up making love that night. I think it was
truly my first time feeling anything that strong and
right. I felt a connection to Aaron that I had never
felt before with anyone. As his heart beat, I felt
like it was my own.

Chapter 6

I didn’t leave Aaron’s until late the next morning.
As I was leaving, Aaron’s parents asked if I
wanted any breakfast. I wasn’t sure if they thought
I had just slept over on the floor or if they knew
that Aaron and I had sex the night before. Either
way, they didn’t seem that upset that I had spent the
night.

When I got back to Momma and George’s house,
Tim told me that he needed to get back to school.
As it was, he would likely have to make up the
entire semester.

“I’m going to miss you,” I told him as I helped him
fold the clothes he washed so he could get his
suitcase ready.

“I know. I’m gonna miss you too, baby bro.”

“When do you graduate, Tim? It’ll be nice to
finally get to live in the same place, where I can

see you every day.” Tim just laughed and said it
would get here before either of us knew it.

“You can stay here as long as you want, since my
Dad doesn’t need the place at the moment.” Even
though he knew George deserved to be locked up, I
know Tim still felt bad. It was his Dad after all.

After Tim drove off, I thought about life and what I
wanted to do with mine. I knew I would need a
job quickly in order to live and pay the bills. Flo
had offered to get me a job where she worked
which was perfect for now because it would give
me quick cash and I had just been trained in a
similar restaurant.

The manager of the restaurant was a guy named
Benjamin who seemed very personable. When he
interviewed me, I could easily tell why everyone
liked him. Several customers stopped by the booth
where we sat to either say hello or goodbye to him
as they were entering or leaving the restaurant.
Benjamin seemed to know each of them by name.

“Since you have very little experience, Logan, I’m

going to start you out on a lunch shift. You’ll
shadow Flo for two days and if all goes well, I’ll
give you a dinner shift on your own.”

“Thank you. You won’t be sorry for giving me this
chance,” I told him. He had me take a menu home
to memorize and told me to be back the next day at
ten thirty.

I had Aaron and Flo over that night to help me
study the menu and teach me a little about the
policies.

“Benjamin is a pretty lax manager, but he has a
few pet peeves,” Flo told me as she played with
her long, black hair. “Number one: Never lean or
kneel while taking an order…always stand straight
up.”

“Number two,” Aaron chimed in, “Never let a
drink get under half full, unless the customer
requests that you stop refilling it for them.”

“And number three: NO CELL PHONES on the
floor!” they both yelled together which got them

laughing.

We spent the rest of the night with Aaron and Flo
pretending to be guests at the restaurant, in order
for them to quiz me on the menu or on how to
handle difficult situations.

In one scenario, Flo’s pretend food was cold and
she wanted it re-cooked. Meanwhile, Aaron asked
me if certain dishes had any gluten in them because
his character was allergic to wheat.

I messed up on a few things, but at least those
things would stay in my mind which was bound to
help me. Once I was burned out, we watched a
movie together and had a popcorn fight.

It was late when Flo and Aaron left, but I wanted
to stay up just a little longer and study the menu.
Since Flo and Aaron went out on a limb to vouch
for me with Benjamin, I didn’t want to let them
down.

Morning arrived way to fast for me, but I pulled
myself into the shower to wake up and managed to

get myself dressed and to my new job in time for
my shift. Flo was already there waiting for me and
quizzed me quickly before the shift started.

The restaurant didn’t officially open for another
hour, so we had to prep certain things like getting
the silverware ready, making tea, cutting lemon
wedges, and scooping the cinnamon butter we
served with the rolls. Benjamin called me into his
office to give me back my ID and Social Security
card.

“Remember, Logan, just stay with Flo today. I
want you to shadow her. It’s fine to help carry
food or drinks or clear the tables with her, but let
her do the talking to the customers. Just observe.”
He didn’t want me speaking to customers until he
knew I was ready. It was fine with me, because I
was really nervous still. Shadowing a friend made
it easier and less uncomfortable, but any new job
comes with butterflies.

I made it through that first shift without spilling
anything on any of the guests. That’s not to say that

I didn’t spill a few things on the floor. Flo helped
me clean up the messes quickly though, and
Benjamin still seemed pleased with how well I
did. At the end of the shift, he quizzed me on the
menu and was surprised at how well I knew the
names and ingredients of everything. As long as I
did better the next day at lunch, Benjamin said he’d
put me on the schedule for Monday night.

Since I wasn’t getting any tips, I was paid
minimum wage instead of the two dollars an hour a
waiter normally makes. Flo tried to split her tips
with me since she did alright for a lunch shift…she
said that people probably tipped extra because
they knew two waiters were doing the work.

“I’m not going to take your money, Flo,” I told
her. “But, if you want, we can use a little of it to
rent a movie and get some snacks and have a night
in with Aaron.”

“Alright, but I ain’t serving you punks!” I laughed
and told her that attitude wasn’t going to get her a
very good tip.

We ended up watching three movies and having a
really good time, but we called it a night earlier
than we wanted to since all three of us had to go to
work the next morning.

I did better on my second lunch shift. Flo let me
do most of the carrying and cleaning to show
Benjamin that I was capable. This time, I didn’t
drop anything. I think I had a little more
confidence now that I knew the layout and
workings of the place a little more.

“You did very well,” Benjamin told me as Flo and
I were doing our side work at the end of the shift.
“Are you all ready for Monday night?” I told him I
would not let him down.

Flo was off Monday, but I would still get to work
with Aaron. I loved looking at him, so I hoped I
could keep my mind on the tables and customers.
It was only a four hour shift, so I figured I could
manage. We already made plans for me to spend
the night with Aaron anyway that night.

I slept in pretty late that Sunday night, and only

woke up an hour before I was supposed to leave
for work. I made sure my hair was perfect and that
my shirt and apron had no wrinkles in them. I even
made sure to add extra flair to my uniform. I was
nervous and wanted to look my best. Even though
I had already worked two shifts, this was like my
true first day.

The shift started off slow with just two tables the
first hour. Flo had trained me well though, so
everything flowed smoothly along. As the night
went on, I got up to six tables at a time. The
hardest part for me other than sneaking peaks at
Aaron was when I would try to take a table’s order
and they weren’t ready yet. I would try to let them
know I would come right back so I could take a
drink order for a table that had just been seated,
but they didn’t want me to leave. By not knowing
how to break away without being rude, it left me
having the new table waiting a long time for their
drinks. I made sure to tell all of the tables that I
was new though, and no one seemed too put off by
my service maybe being slower in some areas than

they were used to. At the end of the night, I still
made eighty-four dollars. Not too shabby for four
hours of work. Aaron made over a hundred, but
didn’t rub it in too badly.

“So, you made it through your first shift. I’m so
proud of you,” he said in a playful way as we
rolled silverware before heading out.

“I thought I was going to drop my plates of food a
few times when I saw your sexy ass walking by,” I
teased him in a whisper. He just winked at me.
God, he was so sexy!

I told him I was going to get home and shower and
change and then I’d head over to his place.

“Okay, just don’t take too long.”

When I turned onto the street with George’s house,
I noticed that there were lights on inside. At first I
thought maybe the place was being robbed, but as I
got closer I saw George throwing my stuff out onto
the lawn. Luckily it was nighttime and he didn’t
seem to notice me as I drove by.

“What happened? You’re not changed…” Aaron
said as he welcomed me into his place. “Oh, I
know…. You wanted to shower with me.” He
winked at me and I almost forgot the real reason I
was there without showering and changing first.

“No,” I said, although the thought of showering
with Aaron was a nice one. “George is home.”

Chapter 7

“What?” Aaron asked…not sure he heard me right
when I told him George was there.

“Yeah. As I drove by, he was throwing all of my
stuff out of the house,” I told him. I guess I was
stupid to stay there. It was his house, after all. I
just figured he would be locked up for quite a
while.

Aaron asked his parents if I could stay with them
for a little while and they welcomed me with open
arms. They knew about everything I had been
through with George and said they thought of me
like a son. It felt really good to have people make
me feel loved and wanted. And, it felt even
greater knowing that Aaron did ask his parents if I
could stay with them this time. It was the one thing
about the past I still resented a little, no matter
how much I tried not to. Now the slate was wiped
clean.

Both Aaron and I were off work the next day, so
we decided we would stay up late and wait until
George was asleep so we could quietly try to
retrieve my things from the front lawn of his
house. I’m sure it would’ve been a smarter idea to
call the cops and have them meet us there as we
gathered my stuff, but I really didn’t want to see
George. I just needed my clothes. I really didn’t
have much, but what I did have I couldn’t afford to
replace right now.

“I really just want to go over there and kill him…
like he killed Momma,” I told Aaron.

“I know. I would love that, too. But what would I
do when you’re locked up in prison?” Aaron had
a good way of calming me down and getting me to
think past my hatred for George.

We drove to George’s place in Aaron’s truck so
we’d be less recognizable and we could quickly
just throw the stuff in the bed of the truck and get
going if we got caught.

We parked a few houses away and did a stake-out

of sorts first to make sure George was not awake.
As we sat there watching the house for movement,
Aaron and I talked.

“You know, you’re really lucky to have the parents
you have,” I told him. I know he loved his parents,
but I hope he appreciated them as well.

“I know,” he said. “You know who else is lucky?
Me…for having such a wonderful boyfriend.” It
was the first time since we had been back together
that he called me his boyfriend and I really liked
hearing him say it. I had him repeat it a few more
times. Finally, he had to kiss me just to shut me
up.

We sat in the truck a good hour before taking a
chance on getting my things. There had been no
lights on inside or even any movement that we
could tell so George was likely asleep. He was
probably passed out in a drunken stupor on the
couch. I don’t know what Momma ever saw in
him.

Aaron reminded me to leave the truck doors

unlocked in case we were discovered and needed
to make a quick getaway. I suggested we leave the
keys in the ignition too.

The adrenalin was incredible as we tip-toed
around the yard trying to gather my things without
making a sound. On the second trip back to the
yard, we heard a noise that freaked us out, but as
we made a mad dash for the truck we saw that the
noise was made by a stray cat hiding in the bushes.

“Chicken,” Aaron whispered to me.

“Hey,” I teased back in a hushed tone, “You were
running right behind me.”

After gathering the last of my clothes and toiletries,
we ran to the truck and drove off before we pushed
our luck.

“That was kind-of fun,” I said once we were out of
the neighborhood. I think both of our hearts were
beating out of our chests.

The next day we told Aaron’s Mom and Dad what
we had done and they didn’t seem to think it was

too funny. They told us both that neither of us was
to go anywhere near George again unless the
police or one of them were present. It killed our
natural buzz a little, but I knew they were just
looking out for us. We promised them we
wouldn’t do anything so stupid ever again.

Chapter 8

Aaron’s Dad took me to the police station to see
why George wasn’t still locked up. It took some
time to get someone that would speak with us, but
after speaking with a few different officers we
were finally led to the officer in charge.

“It looks like your Step-Dad was released because
the District Attorney’s office dropped the
charges,” he told us. I tried to argue with him, but
he said there was nothing more that he could tell us
and that we should probably talk to the D.A. if we
wanted more information.

I did go to the D.A.’s office and was politely told
that George was released because there just wasn’t
enough evidence for a conviction.

I was pretty upset over it at first, but on the drive
back to Aaron’s house, I had a talk with Aaron’s
Dad. He told me that I needed to get on with my
life, and not be consumed with hatred. Momma

wouldn’t want that. If I let George control me like
that, he won.

“Thanks,” I told Aaron’s Dad.

“No problem,” he told me. “Anytime you need to
talk…I’m here.” It was the first time I had a heart
to heart with a Dad. I wished that I had a Dad like
Aaron’s Dad when I was growing up. I’m sure my
life would’ve turned out quite a bit differently.
Even so, I’m happy with who I am and even the
bad experiences I have had have shaped me into a
better person, I think. Besides that, I might not
have Aaron in my life if I didn’t have the life I was
dealt.

Even though I made a decision to leave George
alone and just go on with my life, he apparently
hadn’t made the same decision. I started getting
threatening calls at work. We couldn’t prove they
were from George, but who else would they be
from. Benjamin came close to firing me, but knew
it wasn’t my fault.

“You need to go to the police or court house and

get a restraining order,” he told me. “That way, if
he keeps calling or harassing you, you can get him
arrested again.”

“I already have one,” I told him.

“Well, enforce that bitch then.” It was funny
hearing Benjamin talk like that. I think the whole
situation stressed him out. I don’t blame him
though. It wasn’t even his problem, but he was the
one left dealing with it.

“I know someone you can hire that would take care
of that bastard for the right price,” Flo joked.
When she told me that, I actually considered it.
Luckily, though, I didn’t have any money. I kept
trying to remember my talk with Aaron’s Dad and
not sink to George’s level. I’m sure his behavior
was just retaliation for me getting my belongings
off of his lawn, but I was going to try to do my best
to just ignore him. Sooner or later he was bound
to get tired and stop.

A few days went by relatively quietly, but the next
week after work, my car was vandalized. It

wasn’t the best car, since I didn’t have any money
when I got back to town. Tim helped me get one
financed, though, so I could get around after he left
for school again. As Aaron, Flo, and I left work,
we walked into the parking lot and immediately
noticed my car had the word “FAGGOT” painted
across it. The tires had also been slashed.

“Come on,” Flo said when she saw I was getting
really upset and angry, “let’s go report it to the
police.”

We went back into the restaurant and called the
police. They showed up almost an hour later and
took our statements as well as one from Benjamin,
since he was witness to the threatening and
harassing phone calls that George had been
making.

The officer wasn’t overly friendly, though, and
told us that they couldn’t really do anything since
we had no real proof that George was behind all of
it. I kind-of got the feeling he was blaming me for
what happened, because I’m gay.

After the police left, I lost it and had a mini
breakdown.

“It’s not fair!” I screamed through my tears. “First,
he kills Momma and gets away with it, and now
this! And, he gets away with it again! That’s not
justice.”

Neither Flo nor Aaron really knew what to do or
say. They just held me and tried to calm me down.

Chapter 9

I’m sure Aaron’s parents wanted me to just forget
about George and how he has been making my life
hell, but I couldn’t take much more.

After getting up the next morning, I was determined
to go have it out with George once and for all. I
wasn’t still the little kid he could push around. I
showered while Aaron was still sleeping and
gathered my thoughts on exactly what I wanted to
say to George. He was a bully and I had always
been taught that bullies will keep bullying you until
you stand up to them. I had never put that theory
into practice though. Adrenalin kept my nerves
from taking over, though.

I borrowed Aaron’s truck since my car was still
covered in graffiti and needed new tires. As I
pulled around the corner and approached George’s
house I saw three police cruisers and an
ambulance…all with their lights flashing.

The EMTs were carrying a stretcher back to the
ambulance. As I got closer, I saw it was a body in
a body bag.

I know it was stupid, but I pulled up to the house
and rolled down a window to ask what happened.

“The owner of the house was killed sometime last
night or this morning,” the young officer told me.
He looked like a rookie and probably wasn’t even
allowed to tell me what he did.

I drove away with a sense of peace. I know it’s
morbid, but at least I knew George was out of my
life and that he got in life what he gave to others…
to Momma. Maybe now, life could finally get
back to normal.

I called Tim after I got home to Aaron’s house and
told him what happened to George. He knew I
hated George and blamed him for Momma’s death,
but I was still a little surprised when Tim asked
me if I did it.

“Did what? Are you asking me if I killed your

Dad?” I was trying to be sensitive, but it really
hurt to have Tim ask me that…for him to think so
little of me.

“No. I’m sorry. Of course you didn’t, Logan. I’m
sorry.” I told Tim it was okay, and that we were
still good. He was allowed to grieve however he
needed to. He had always been there for me, and I
was going to make sure to be there for him now.

Tim came back home the next day and we began
making the funeral plans for George. While we
were at the house making calls to the various
people who handled Momma’s funeral, Tim got a
call from George’s lawyer. They set up an
appointment for the next day, and I tagged along.

Apparently, George had an insurance policy
through his work that paid one hundred thousand
dollars. George also had another one hundred and
fifty thousand dollars in savings, personal life
insurance and stocks and bonds. Tim and I
believed that most of the money from his savings
was the life insurance from Momma, so Tim

wanted to split everything with me down the
middle.

“Do you want to keep the house?” Tim asked me. I
told him that since it wasn’t paid for, we should
sell it. I didn’t want to really live in the house
where George killed Momma anyways. Tim
agreed and said he would make some calls to have
some people do everything needed to get the house
sold.

I felt bad for Tim. He was just trying to go to
school and get a degree so he could start his life,
and these things keep popping up that are putting
him farther and farther behind on his education.

Chapter 10

Tim was scheduled to return to school again after
George’s funeral. It was a beautiful funeral and
there was a large turnout; mostly people from
George’s work. We did have a reception
afterwards at the house, with food and drinks.

As Tim and I cleaned up the mess afterwards, I
told Tim he could get going if he needed to. I
didn’t mind cleaning up the mess alone. I wouldn’t
do it for George, but I would do anything for Tim.

“Naw. I’ll stay til morning,” he said. “It’s been a
really long day and I need a good night’s sleep
anyways.”

I stayed with Tim that night and let Aaron know I’d
be back over after Tim went home. I hadn’t really
seen much of Aaron lately, but he seemed to
understand. He even sent Tim some flowers, and
his condolences.

Before our alarms even went off the next morning,
we awoke to the sounds of banging on the door. I
got up to see what the commotion was and saw
there were two police cars in the driveway. It
freaked me out a little.

“Can I help you?” I asked the two officers and a
Detective that were on the other side of the door.

They told me I was wanted for questioning in
George’s murder. Tim showed up and tried to tell
them that was bull-shit, but they insisted I come
down to the station to answer some questions.

“Don’t say anything without a lawyer,” Tim told
me as we left.

He called a lawyer and they met me down at the
station an hour or so later. The police tried to ask
me questions when we first arrived, but I told them
I wanted to wait for my lawyer, so they left me
alone in a conference room.

Once Tim and the lawyer arrived, I told them that I
didn’t know why I was being questioned and that I

didn’t do it.

The lawyer told me to go ahead and answer
whatever questions the police had for me, at least
until he told me to stop.

“Just be honest and keep your answers short and
concise,” he told me.

The officers asked a lot of questions about the
vandalism to my car the night before, and about
how Aaron and I snuck over to George’s late one
night to collect my clothes off the lawn. I guess
their theory was that if I’d sneak over late one
night for that, I’d also sneak over late one night to
murder him.

Next they asked me about my driving by the house
the next day…and asking the officer what
happened. I told them that I was going over to
George’s to have it out with him once and for all.
It probably wasn’t the greatest choice of words,
since I didn’t really have an alibi.

By the time the officers started saying that I

matched the description of the murderer that they
received from a witness, my lawyer called an end
to their questions. It was too late though. They
decided to arrest me on the spot.

“Tim, tell Aaron about what happened,” I hollered
at Tim as they were leading me to the booking area
of the station.

“I will. We’re going to get you home soon, so
hang in there, baby bro.” I could see the worried
look in Tim’s eyes as they led me away.

Chapter 11

Right after I was finger-printed and photographed
for my mug shot, I was released. I figured that Tim
had bonded me out, but I was never asked to sign
any paperwork. Tim wasn’t even there once I was
let go.

“Why am I being released?” I asked the desk
Sergeant. It seemed like a funny question, but I
was pretty confused as to what was going on.

“Someone else confessed to the murder,” he told
me.

Just then, I saw Aaron being brought in with his
hands cuffed behind his back.

“What’s going on?” I tried to ask Aaron as he was
being walked down a corridor, but he wasn’t able
to answer. I felt like I was losing everyone.
Momma was taken away from me, Tim was living
farther away for school, and now Aaron was in

jail.

I called Tim and had him take me to Aaron’s
parent’s house. I didn’t know if they were aware
that their son was arrested, but I needed to find out
what was going on.

When Aaron’s Mom answered the door, her
mascara was running and it was obvious that she
had been crying.

“What happened?” I asked.

“I don’t know,” Aaron’s Mom said between sobs.
“My little boy said he killed your step-dad. That
can’t be true. My son’s not a murderer!”

I felt really bad for her and agreed that Aaron was
no murderer. I wouldn’t have believed it if he
didn’t confess to it. Even then, I didn’t really
believe it.

A big part of me wanted to run back to live with
James and put this whole town out of my mind. I
needed to be strong for Aaron though. I now had
the funds at least to get him a good lawyer. I also

planned on seeing if bail had been set so I could
get Aaron home to his folks as soon as possible.

The lawyer wasn’t able to meet with Aaron until
the next afternoon, so I went to bed feeling so
badly for Aaron. Knowing he was in jail, all
alone and likely scared, made it really hard to get
any sleep. I only hoped he knew I was thinking of
him and loved him.

After interviewing Aaron, the lawyer told his
parents and me that Aaron only confessed to save
me from going to jail. He didn’t think I did it
directly, but he figured maybe I hired someone to
kill George. I’ve never had someone love me so
much that they would give up their life and
freedom to save mine. I felt tremendous love for
Aaron at that moment, but I had to get him home.
He couldn’t go to prison for something neither he
nor I even did.

The lawyer had a good private investigator on his
payroll, and did some investigating. The
investigator came up with a security tape showing

the break-in at George’s happened hours earlier
than the police originally thought it did. At that
time, both Aaron and I were at work, with plenty
of witnesses.

Even that evidence wasn’t enough to get Aaron
released right away. Eventually, though, the
lawyer did manage to get Aaron and I cleared of
all charges.

Chapter 12

Once things got back to normal, Aaron and I
discussed moving. There was just too much pain
and drama for us to stay where we were. We
wanted a life together…one where we could be
happy and not be reminded of things that were so
unpleasant.

“Would you like to move back to your
hometown?” Aaron asked me as we lay in bed in
each other’s arms one morning.

“Yeah, I think I’d like that.” Living in the last
place Momma was truly happy would be nice, but
I didn’t want Aaron to have to leave his parents
just to make me happy.

“I would’ve been going off to school anyways,” he
reminded me. “Besides, you’re Mister Moneybags
now, so we can fly home anytime we need or want
to visit.”

So, that day, we set the moving plans in motion.
Aaron’s Mom was pretty emotional, but she was
willing to let Aaron make his own decisions. Of
course, we had to promise to come back for
Birthdays and holidays.

“We’re going to be here so much you guys will be
sick of us,” I teased them. It did get everyone
laughing.

We didn’t actually move for a few months. I was
still dealing with the sale of George’s house and
we wanted to find a place to live before moving
out. I did end up flying back and forth to pick the
perfect house for us to buy.

By fall we were living in our new home, and
making plans to start a business together. Aaron
was going to be going to school for a business
degree, while I mainly ran the business. I wanted
to open up a cupcake shop since it was Momma’s
favorite desert. We planned to call it “Momma’s
Delight.” That way, Momma would always be a
part of my life still.

I still needed to go to culinary school before our
dream could be a reality. But, it was an exciting
change I was looking forward to.

The

Broken Dreams

John Green

Chapter 1

The first few days in our new home were exciting.
We had no furniture yet, because I wanted to pick
that out together. It would be the home that Aaron
and I would hopefully spend the rest of our lives
in, so I wanted to make sure it fit us both.

We had heard that Washington State was known
for their rain, though I never really remembered
that from my childhood. We got our first
introduction to it, however, that first night. All of
the power was out when we pulled up to the house
after our long three-day drive. Luckily there was
some firewood in the garage.

“I’ll get the fire going,” Aaron suggested, “while
you set out the food.” We had stopped along the
way and picked up some Chinese take-out.

“This wasn’t quite what I was expecting our first
night in our very own home to be like,” I told
Aaron with a laugh, but we both agreed it was

kind-of romantic. The look on his face as we lay
on a blanket in front of the roaring fire was
beautiful. His whole face beamed of love. I
hoped he saw the same love expressed in my face
because Aaron was everything I wanted.

The power remained off for the rest of the night
and half of the next day. We spent that time making
love in almost every room. “Are you exhausted
yet?” I asked him after our sixth or seventh
session.

“What are you talking about?” he replied with a
sinister smile as he grabbed me and pushed me
against a wall. “I’m just getting started.” With
that, he kissed me passionately.

I wanted so much to give into the passion, but there
was still a lot that needed to get done. “That’ll
have to wait, Tiger,” I told him. “We have to go
by the college to see what we need to do to get you
enrolled. We also have a three o’clock
appointment to tour the school I’ll be going to.
And, we still need to get some furniture picked out

and delivered for this place.”

Aaron reluctantly agreed to a rain-check but got a
few more kisses in as we showered together.

As we drove around, running errands, Aaron
seemed to be coming down from the high he had
been on. “Are you okay?” I asked, though I
already knew what was wrong.

“Yeah. I’ll be fine,” he answered. “I just miss
them…you know?” I understood how he missed
his parents, though I didn’t really have anyone to
miss. I had been on my own for a while, and my
step-brother, Tim, lived far away. I did miss him,
but I always missed him. It wasn’t anything new.

“You know, you can call them,” I suggested.

“Is that okay?” he asked as if I would think he was
immature for missing home and his parents. I gave
him my blessing and even dialed the number for
him. As soon as his mom answered, Aaron’s face
lit up again. The rest of the day he was his normal
self. I think he just needed a reminder of his old

life to ground him a little. Even though I was with
him, I was sure it was scary leaving everything of
his old life behind. I just hoped he knew I would
be there to make the change easier on him in
whatever ways I could.

We were told that we both should be able to get
into school for the Spring Semester, which gave us
a few months to work at getting jobs and setting up
the house.

At the furniture store, we picked out a tomato-red
couch that was so soft. I imagined Aaron and I
cuddling up together on it in our living room,
watching movies. We paired it with black end and
coffee tables to match the black TV stand we
picked out.

For the bedroom, we just got a simple headboard
and bed frame. Furnishing an entire house could
be expensive and without any money coming in, I
needed to make sure we used as little of the
insurance money from Momma and George as
possible. That needed to last us. I had already

spent a big chunk of it on the house, and we would
still need a lot for the cupcake shop I planned to
open, though that would likely take close to two
years.

Once Aaron and I had jobs, hopefully we wouldn’t
need to touch that money again for a while.

The only other major things we bought were a TV
for the living room, and a washer and dryer. The
little things like shower curtains, towels,
silverware, cleaning supplies, toiletries, and
dishes added up quickly, though.

By the end of our first week, the house was
beginning to feel like a home. The furniture was
delivered, satellite and internet connected, and all
that was left to do was get jobs.

We had hoped on finding jobs together, like we
had before. It would save on gas money and allow
us to see each other more, but we weren’t able to
find any places looking to hire two people.

Aaron ended up getting hired at a hardware store,

which was a change for him but someplace I could
definitely see him feeling at home. I was lucky
enough to get hired at a small downtown bakery. I
figured if I was going to open a cupcake shop, I
should get some experience at how things ran.

“So this is our new life?” I asked Aaron
rhetorically as we lay in bed the night before
starting our new jobs. I had put so much effort into
being strong for the both of us, but I think he could
tell I was likely just as scared as he was.

He took my hand and squeezed it gently before
kissing me on the forehead. “It’s gonna be okay,”
he told me as he pulled me into the crook of his
arm. Being held in his arms made me believe
him. All of my nerves and doubt disappeared and
I drifted off to sleep.

Chapter 2

I had to get to the bakery at six in the morning.
Jodi, the owner of the bakery, was already inside
working. I knocked on the door to let her know I
was there.

“Come on in, Logan,” she said. Jodi was in her
early forties, I would guess. She had shoulder
length, straight, black hair. Even though it was so
early, she already had her apron covered with
flour. “Gimme just a second and I’ll give you
some paperwork to fill out,” she told me.

As I was filling out the new hire paperwork and
tax forms, Jodi told me that mainly she was going
to have me just follow her around and watch how
things worked for the day. It reminded me of my
first day working with Flo when our boss,
Benjamin, had me shadow her for two days before
getting a shift of my own.

“All done,” I said as I got up from the table in the

kitchen and handed Jodi my forms.

“Great. Well, let’s get you an apron and a name
tag,” she told me. I didn’t know her well, but I
instantly liked Jodi. She seemed to be very happy,
and didn’t come off as a typical boss. She told me
she thinks of her bakery as an extended family, and
I could see why. She had a warmth that just made
everyone feel at home. Aaron didn’t start his job
until later in the day, but I couldn’t help wondering
if his boss would be as cool as Jodi.

I spent the rest of the morning watching Jodi make
breads, cakes and cookies. There was a lot of
cooking involved, but she seemed to have it down
to an art. By the time the bakery opened at ten, the
shelves were stocked with fresh items that made
the place smell wonderful.

“Your main job is going to be to wash all the pans
and dishes, and stock the shelves,” she told me.
The shop didn’t stay steadily busy, but there were
bursts of shoppers which made up for any down
time.

While I restocked the shelves, I told Jodi a little
bit about my life and what brought me and Aaron
out to Washington. “I probably should’ve told you
I was gay when I applied,” I told her, hoping Jodi
didn’t regret hiring me.

“Don’t give it another thought,” she replied.
“That’s your business and no one else’s.” She
went on to tell me about her girlfriend, Shae. They
had met in college and been together ever since.
Shae worked as a bartender, so they didn’t get to
spend much time together since they worked
opposite schedules.

She didn’t say it, but I think maybe Jodi knew I
was gay when I came in for an application, and it
was one of the reasons she hired me. Either way,
it was nice to have someone to talk to about my
relationship with Aaron…someone I knew
wouldn’t be judgmental.

Before I knew it, two o’ clock had come and it
was time for me to get off work. “You did a great
job today, Logan,” Jodi told me. “I’ll see you

bright and early tomorrow morning.”

On my way home, I decided to stop at the store to
get something for dinner. Aaron would be getting
home just after six, so I had time to make him a
nice dinner to celebrate the completion of our first
day at our new jobs. His new favorite meal was
spaghetti with meatballs, so I got the stuff for that,
as well as some veggies for a salad and some
garlic bread. I cheated on the meatballs, though.
As a soon to be culinary student, I should’ve made
them from scratch, but I was trying to save money
and it was much cheaper to just buy the frozen
ones. I was sure Aaron would still appreciate it.

Before heading home, I stopped by one more store
to get some cheap but nice candles, placemats, and
cloth napkins. It was an unnecessary expense, but I
wanted to make the table look as romantic as
possible.

By the time six rolled around, I already had the
pasta cooking, the sauce with meatballs simmering,
the garlic bread in the oven and the table set,

complete with flowers and lit candles. All I
needed was Aaron to walk through the door.

It occurred to me, as I saw his truck pull in the
driveway that maybe he would be sweaty and want
to shower before doing anything else. As he
opened the door, I was standing on the other side,
with a single red rose in hand. “How was work,
baby?” I asked him.

He hugged me. It was one of those hugs where I
had to hold him up almost because of how
exhausted he was, but it still felt great. “It was
good, but a workout. I never knew how out of
shape I had gotten,” he told me as he explained that
he must’ve lifted about twenty thousand pounds
over the last eight hours.

“Well, I wanted to surprise you with a nice dinner,
if you’re not too exhausted to eat.”

His face lit up. “Food sounds perfect, and it
smells wonderful. Did you make me spaghetti?”
he asked before kissing me neck.

I walked him over to the table and he told me how
great everything looked as I fixed our plates and
drinks.

“Baby, this is too much…you’re spoiling me,”
Aaron told me to which I replied that I planned on
spoiling him for many, many years to come.

We talked about our jobs and bosses as we ate.
Aaron’s boss was a man named, Mr. Robinson.
Aaron said he didn’t really get a chance to know
Mr. Robinson very well, but there were a few guys
he worked with that seemed cool…even after he
told them he was gay.

“Oh, I’m stuffed!!!” Aaron shouted as he
stretched. “Can you take a shower for me…I don’t
know if I have the energy,” he joked.

He did get a second wind after dinner though, and
we watched a movie in bed. Aaron caressed my
chest and I fell asleep before the movie was over.
All in all, it was a pretty good day.

Chapter 3

Over the next few weeks, Jodi added more hours
to my schedule. I didn’t mind, because I wasn’t
able to see Aaron until later at night anyways.
Plus, I could use the money.

I worked from six to two washing dishes and
stocking the shelves, though Jodi let me help in
some of the baking. I only did little things like
adding the water or yeast into the mixer, but I
enjoyed it. After two, I helped out in the front of
the store with customers.

Mandy was the main cashier from two to ten. She
was around my age and nice enough. It took a little
while for me to get used to her goth look, but I was
definitely not someone with room to judge anyone
else.

Every once in a while, Dan, Mandy’s boyfriend,
would come by. He was the typical macho jock. I
expected to get a vibe of hostility or jealousy from

him, but he was always very warm and
approachable. I guess many Mandy told him about
Aaron.

“So, when are we going to meet Aaron?” both Jodi
and Mandy asked me on more than one occasion.

“It just so happens that he’s going to drop me off
and pick me up tomorrow, so we can have a date
night,” I told them.

Since Aaron and I had moved to Washington, we
spent the majority of our time working or
sleeping. We decided that we would make Friday
nights our dedicated date night. I wasn’t sure what
we were going to do…Aaron wanted to surprise
me.

“Well, it’s about time,” Jodi joked. “I was
beginning to think he didn’t exist.” She had seen
pictures of Aaron and me together, but I guess it
was a little odd that he had never come by. I had
met Shae and Dan many times already, yet they had
never met Aaron.

“You know, Jodi and Mandy are anxious to meet
you,” I told Aaron that night. I wanted to prepare
him.

“Oh yeah?” he asked. “Should I be nervous?”

“Naw…just wanted to let you know.” Aaron had
been making friends at his job. He had actually
hung out several times with a guy named Chris that
I had yet to meet. I hadn’t said anything, but I was
a little jealous. “So, when am I going to meet
Chris?” I asked, hoping my jealousy wasn’t
transparent. I did trust Aaron. I think I was more
jealous that he was out having fun with someone
besides me. I figured I’d feel a little better if I met
Chris.

“How about next Friday, we meet Chris and his
girlfriend for a double-date?” he suggested as he
finished drying off from his shower and found a
pair of shorts to throw on.

“Deal,” I said. Truthfully, I would’ve rather had
the date with just Aaron and myself, but I did want
to meet Chris so I agreed.

The next day, time seemed to stand still. I found
myself watching the clock. Jodi probably thought I
was going on my first date ever. “Why are you so
nervous?” she asked around lunch time.

“I don’t know. I just want you and Mandy to like
Aaron,” I answered. It was silly. I had no
interaction outside of work with either woman, but
their

opinions

had

become

important

me...especially Jodi’s. I had grown to respect her
quite a bit.

“I’m sure we’ll both love him,” she reassured me.
“Now, get back to work!” she added with a wink.

She let me off thirty minutes early so I could wash
up and change for my date. I wasn’t sure where
Aaron and I would be going so I just wore a pair
of charcoal slacks with a blue argyle sweater.
Blue was my favorite color and Aaron joked that I
wore it too much. I think he really just wanted to
steal some of my blue sweaters and shirts.

At exactly six, a black stretch limousine pulled up
to the curb. “I wonder if that’s some celebrity,”

Mandy said as we all watched to see who
emerged.

The chauffer got out and opened the back door. I
probably should’ve expected it, but I wasn’t
prepared to see Aaron step out of the limo. He
looked almost more handsome than I’ve ever seen
him, if that was possible.

The weeks of hard work at the hardware store,
moving lumber and heavy items, had bulked up his
muscles nicely. He was dressed in a nice black
suit and a light powder-blue shirt. His hair was
newly cut and gelled, and in his hand was a light
blue long-stemmed rose. I had never even seen a
blue rose. I wasn’t sure if Aaron had a white one
dyed or what, but it brought a smile to my face.

As he walked through the door, Aaron couldn’t
contain his smile. We just stood there with goofy
smiles on our faces, while our eyes had their own
private conversation.

“This is for you,” Aaron finally said as he handed
me the rose.

“Thank you.”

“Are you ready for our date?” he asked.

“Yes, but first I want you to meet my boss, Jodi,
and Mandy.” I made the introductions and could
tell from the looks on their faces that Mandy and
Jodi approved.

“He’s hot,” Mandy mouthed to me as I headed out
to the limo.

Once we were alone, I gave Aaron a giant kiss.
“This must have cost a fortune,” I told Aaron, but
he silenced me with another kiss.

“Don’t worry about the expense. I made some
deals and it’s not costing much at all,” he
explained.

I decided not to ask what kind of deals he was
referring to and just enjoy the night that he
obviously worked so hard to plan.

Aaron explained that he wanted us to have a prom
night.

Our first stop was a chain restaurant for dinner. It
wasn’t anything super fancy, but I loved it. “I
wanted to go where we would’ve gone in high
school,” Aaron explained.

Since we weren’t in high school anymore, though,
we went to a dance club for our second stop. I
wasn’t much of a dancer, but the D.J. was someone
Aaron knew, so she put on a few slow songs for
Aaron and me to dance to. I knew there were
probably a lot of eyes on us since it wasn’t a gay
club, but I didn’t care. I just closed my eyes and
enjoyed the feel of Aaron in my arms.

After the club, Aaron announced that we were
hitting our final stop. “You have to wear this,” he
said as he handed me a blindfold.

“Really?” I laughed. I thought he was kidding.

“I’m serious, Mister. Put it on,” he ordered as he
helped place the blindfold on and make sure my
eyes were completely covered.

After about ten minutes, the limo stopped and

Aaron led me to what I sensed was an elevator. I
could hear other people in the elevator with us, so
I just stayed quiet.

As we exited the elevator, I could feel carpet
under my feet and heard what sounded like a
keycard being inserted into a door. “Are we at a
hotel?” I asked.

“Awww. You ruined the surprise,” Aaron said as
he pulled the blindfold off my head. The room
was beautiful. There were rose petals leading
across the floor to the bed. In the corner of the
room, there was a Jacuzzi bathtub, surrounded by
candles. “I was going to light those before taking
your blindfold off,” he apologized.

“It’s perfect,” I told him as I pulled him into an
embrace. I don’t know if he could feel it, but I
was completely turned on and hard. As I planted a
deep kiss on his lips, I rubbed his crotch and found
he was in the same condition.

We took turns undressing each other as the Jacuzzi
tub filled up. Then, Aaron added some bubble

bath while I lit the candles.

By the end of the night, we had made love in the
Jacuzzi tub, on the balcony that overlooked the city
and twice in the bed. The room looked like a
tornado had hit it. There was water and suds all
over the floor, and blankets and pillows
everywhere.

“Was that an acceptable date?” Aaron asked with
a grin as he straddled me and massaged my entire
body.

“That was perfect!” I told him. “But you set the
bar a little high. How am I supposed to top that?”

Immediately I saw a sparkle in Aaron’s eyes.
“How about you top me instead?” he asked. It was
cheesy, but that didn’t stop us from making love
one more time before we were completely spent.

Chapter 4

The entire next week, Jodi and Mandy went on and
on about how lucky I was to have such a sweet and
hot boyfriend. “I’m no lump of coal, myself, you
know,” I said, jokingly.

“Okay….Aaron’s lucky to have you too,” Mandy
added.

It was nice to have a little group of people that I
could feel were like family. At the end of the
week, we did go on the double date with Chris and
his girlfriend, Jennifer. We just went to a movie
and a burger joint, but by the end of the night, I felt
like they were family as well. We made sure to
get together with them at least once every other
week either for a date night or game night.

As spring approached, we were just getting used to
our lives. Starting school was a little scary.
Aaron was going to keep his job and work only on
the weekends and I was going to keep working

Monday through Friday for Jodi, but just less hours
each day. Since neither Aaron nor I would have
classes on Fridays, we were going to keep up our
date night tradition.

“Are you excited to be starting culinary school
today,” Jodi asked as we stretched the dough into
ropes for the loaves of bread. She had been giving
me more and more responsibilities. I know she
trusted me, but I think she let me do more also so
that I’d be prepared when I opened up my own
shop. I wanted to follow through for Momma, but
the thought of leaving Jodi made me sad.

“Yeah,” I answered. “I really want to learn knife
skills. I have no idea how chefs can cut things so
quickly while not even lifting the tip of the knife
from the cutting board.”

“I’m sure you’ll be a pro in no time. Aaron’s
starting school today also, right?”

“Yeah, he’s likely heading to school right now.
He’s probably more nervous than me, though. He
has to take a lot more classes to get a degree and

his school is a lot bigger. He’s always been good
at making friends, so I’m sure he’ll be okay,” I
said, even though I was nervous for him.

My life had so many ups and downs already that I
hated change. I knew change could be good and
that in a week or two, we’d be fine…but, for now,
I had so many butterflies in my stomach, both for
myself and for Aaron.

Jodi wished me luck as I headed out.

I found my first classroom with a little time to
spare. It was strange to enter a class room that
looked more like a large restaurant kitchen. I took
a seat and looked around. There were about thirty
stools placed around the large, stainless steel
tables but only a few students so far had arrived.
Almost every seat was filled, by the time the
instructor arrived.

We started off by going around the room and
introducing ourselves and why we were studying
the culinary arts. “Hi, I’m Logan,” I said when it
was my turn. “I want to become a pastry chef and

open a small cupcake shop for my Mom.” It was
true and I didn’t want to make anyone feel
uncomfortable by telling them about how Momma
died and that it was my way of honoring her.

We didn’t get to do any chopping or cooking or
anything that day. The instructor showed and told
us about the things we would be learning over the
semester. All of it excited me.

I basically repeated everything for my next two
classes which were also taught by the same
instructor. Many of the same students were in
those classes as well. I ended up sitting next to a
guy named Levi in all three of my classes. It was
nice to have someone to go through school with.
Levi was eighteen and wanted to own his own
restaurant one day.

When I got home, Aaron was already there,
looking overwhelmed. “You know, they actually
gave us homework on the first day,” he complained
as I walked in the door. There was a pile of books
on the coffee table and I immediately felt bad for

him. He was taking all core classes that had
nothing to do with his major, so he wasn’t even
able to really enjoy the semester.

“How about I make you a nice dinner?” I
suggested.

“That sounds great, baby. I’m sorry…I’m being
rude. How was your first day?”

I tried to hold back my excitement, so I focused on
how we didn’t get to actually touch any knives or
food or anything. Still, I think he could tell I really
enjoyed school.

“What do you want me to fix?” I asked after putting
my school books away.

“Anything you make will be perfect,” Aaron
answered with a smile. “You’re my real life chef
now.”

“It’s only my first day…I’m not a chef,” I told him,
but I still felt great. Deep down, Aaron was more
of a meat and potatoes type of guy, so I decided to
grill some steaks and make some baked potatoes

and a small Caesar salad.

After dinner, Aaron told me he had to finish a
paper for his English class, but that he’d be quiet
when he came up to bed if I was asleep.

“You can wake me up if you want…as long as it’s
with a kiss,” I told him as I leaned down and
kissed his lips passionately.

“Mmmm. I can think of a few other ways to wake
you up too,” he suggested as I walked toward the
stairs.

“Be my guest,” I answered in as sexy of a voice as
I could muster. “Don’t stay up too long though,” I
told him. He got to sleep in longer than me, but I
still wanted him to get a good night’s sleep. If his
first day’s workload was any indication of how
school was going to proceed, he’d need it.

Chapter 5

After a few weeks, Aaron seemed to get into a
groove with school and was not so overwhelmed
by his workload. There was still a lot of work, but
he was handling it well.

I had already learned so much in my classes. Jodi
took some of the mornings off and let me make all
the baked goods for those days. I liked the added
responsibility and loved cooking, but I did miss
having Jodi to talk to as I worked. She still came
in at noon, though. She seemed pleased with my
work.

The only time I messed up anything was on the first
day. I ended up having to throw a few cakes away
and start over because I didn’t let them cool
enough before frosting them. The cake crumbled
into the icing and the warmth of the cake made the
icing melt. Jodi was cool about it though so I
didn’t have to pay for the cakes.

I didn’t get to see Mandy as much anymore, since
she didn’t even start her shifts until I was already
gone on my school days. But, I sometimes stopped
by and visited on the weekends while Aaron was
at his job.

“I hate that we never get to visit anymore,” Mandy
said as I helped her re-stock the shelves after the
lunch rush one Saturday.

“I know. Me too. But, I’m here now.”

“We need to go out sometime. Do you and Aaron
still do your Friday date nights?” she asked.

I told her we did. “We haven’t missed one yet,” I
said.

“Well, this Friday, you, and Aaron are going out
with me and Dan!” It wasn’t a request. It’s as if
she had decided for all of us and that’s all there
was to it. No discussion. I didn’t mind. I thought
it would be nice to double date with her and Dan.

When I got home, I asked Aaron if it was okay.
“Sure, I like Mandy,” he said. He had never met

Dan, but I assured him that Dan was nice and that
they’d get along great.

I went to bed that night feeling good. Lately,
Aaron had seemed more distant and quiet. I
figured it was just how he dealt with a large
schoolwork load on top of working. A small part
of me wondered if he was just getting bored with
me. Maybe the double-date would take away
some of the monotony.

When Friday rolled around, I got ready for work
and kissed Aaron goodbye on the way out. He
loved Fridays because it was the one day of the
week that he didn’t have to work or go to school.
He could just sleep in and relax. “I’ll see ya at
six, okay?” I asked as I put on my coat.

“I’ll be there. Have a good day, Sexy. I love
you,” he said with his eyes only half opened.

He looked so sexy, I had to run back over and give
him one last kiss even if he did have dragon
breath. “I love you too, Aaron. Now go back to
sleep.”

Jodi had swapped shifts with Mandy, so she’d be
free to go out on our double date. I had been
confiding in Jodi about how I thought maybe Aaron
was losing interest, so she knew how important it
was to me. Besides that, I was looking forward to
spending some time outside of work with Mandy
and Dan.

We decided to go out to a nice restaurant and have
dinner, and then hang out back at Aaron’s and my
place for a game night. It would be the first time
Aaron and I had ever had any of our friends over
to our home. I was so excited.

“Are you ready for a night of craziness?” Dan
asked as he came into the bakery. He was about
thirty minutes early, but there weren’t any
customers so Mandy and I sat at a table with him
and talked as we waited for Aaron to show up.

“I’m so jealous of all of you,” Jodi said as she
stood behind the counter. I felt bad that she had to
stay after we all left, but she and Shae had their

own date night planned for after the shop closed.

Aaron was normally very punctual, but there was
no sign of him at six o’ clock. “Give the dude a
few minutes,” Dan told me when I seemed
worried. “It’s a Friday night and there’s traffic.”

We chatted and joked around some more but by six
fifteen, I figured Aaron would have at least called
to let me know he was running late. “I’m going to
call him,” I told Mandy. The phone rang and rang
and rang. Finally it just went to voicemail. “Hey,
Aaron. Where are you? We’re waiting here at the
bakery. Call me back if you’re on your way.”

I felt like I was in school calling a guy that I liked
that was avoiding me. Maybe Aaron just overslept
and was in the shower, or maybe he was on the
way, but forgot his phone at home. I tried to be
positive, but the image of him just moving out and
leaving me kept entering my mind. I knew he
loved me, but maybe the life we had together
wasn’t what he wanted.

After waiting another thirty minutes and only

getting Aaron’s voicemail every time I tried
calling, I told Mandy and Dan to just go to dinner
without us. “I need to go home and see what’s
going on.”

“Well, call us to let us know everything’s okay,”
Mandy said and gave me a hug.

“We’ll get a table for four in case you guys are
able to come and join us,” Dan offered and gave
me a bro-hug.

My mind raced as I headed home. As I pulled into
the driveway, Aaron’s truck was not there. I tried
to prepare myself to walk in the house and find all
of his clothes and belongings gone.

When I entered, though, everything looked the way
it always did. Nothing seemed missing or out of
place or weird. I called Aaron’s cell phone again
to see if maybe he left it in the house somewhere,
but the house remained silent and the call went to
voicemail as it had the three previous times.

I waited, not knowing what to do, and finally my

phone rang. As I looked at the caller id, I saw that
it wasn’t Aaron calling. “Sorry, Mandy,” I
answered. “I forgot to call.”

“Well, what happened?” she asked. I could hear
Dan asking questions in the background.

“I don’t know. He’s not here, and he’s not
answering his phone,” I told her. She could hear
the tremble in my voice, I’m sure.

“I’m sure everything’s fine,” she told me. “He’ll
show up. Do you want Dan and I to come over and
keep you company?”

I should’ve let them come over so I at least would
not be sitting alone worried, but I didn’t want to
ruin their night. “No. It’s fine. I’ll text you when I
know something,” I told her.

I waited a few more hours before falling asleep.
Around two in the morning, I was awoken to my
phone ringing again. I looked around the living
room wondering where I was before finding my
phone in between the couch cushions.

“Hello?” I answered. I didn’t recognize the
number, but figured it had to be Aaron calling.

“Hello.” It was a lady’s voice. “I’m calling from
Westside General Hospital…”

I can’t even remember the rest of the call. All I
remember was showing up at the hospital to find
Aaron in a coma.

Chapter 6

Those first few hours at the hospital seemed like a
dream. I remembered asking the nurse for help on
where to go to find Aaron, but it still seemed like I
was watching someone else doing it.

I had to wait in the waiting room for several hours
while Aaron was in surgery. The only information
I received was that he was in a wreck and in
serious condition. I sat with my phone in my
hands. They were shaking so badly that I had to
hold onto something just to not go insane.

“Mr. Jones?” I heard a doctor ask. It took a
second for me to realize she was speaking to me.

“Yea-yeah…that’s me,” I spoke up, though my
voice was horse and barely audible.

The doctor explained to me that Aaron was in a
wreck and suffered many injuries. His ribs, arms
and a leg were broken, his lung punctured, and his

skull was cracked. The surgeries for his lung and
head went well but he was in a coma.

I was glad I was sitting down, because my legs
immediately went numb. Everyone I ever cared
for has always gotten taken away from me. I didn’t
want Aaron to be added to that list.

“I do need to ask you about his drug use,” the
doctor asked.

I stared blankly at her, thinking at first that she was
talking about someone else. For a second, I
thought maybe the person she was talking about
wasn’t Aaron at all. Maybe the names were just
mixed up. “Aaron doesn’t use drugs,” I answered.
“Are you sure he’s the one you operated on?” I
asked as I fumbled for my wallet to show the
doctor a picture of the two of us.

“Yes. I know this is hard,” the doctor replied.
“Aaron had modafinil in his system. We also
found some of the pills in his pocket. It’s a drug
used by narcoleptics, to keep them from falling
asleep. More and more students use it now days to

improve their alertness and concentration when
dealing with heavy workloads.”

I told the doctor that I had no knowledge of Aaron
taking anything. I knew Aaron was having a hard
time with school in the beginning, but I never
thought he’d turn to drugs. I didn’t know if the
pills he was taking were dangerous or not, and
wondered if they were responsible for the accident
he got in. Before I could ask, though, the doctor
was paged. “Aaron will be moved to the ICU
soon, and you’ll be able to visit him, but just
briefly,” she told me as she started to leave.

When I saw Aaron in his bed in the ICU, tears
immediately rushed to my eyes and trickled down
my cheeks. He was swollen and bruised, and
almost unrecognizable. Anyone looking at him that
had never seen him before would never guess he
was as handsome and beautiful as he was. He
looked like a boxer that had fought one too many
rounds with an opponent who got in every punch.

“Hey, Aaron,” I whispered through my tears as I

sat beside his bed. I was afraid to hold his hand or
even kiss his cheek for fear that I would hurt him.
He looked so fragile. “Hey, sexy. We’re gonna
get you through this, okay? You just stay strong,” I
told him. I was trying to hold back my tears. I
didn’t know what he could hear or sense, so I
wanted him to only hear happiness and love in my
voice. Holding back the tears was like stopping a
flood with a cotton ball. It was useless. I silently
let the tears take over.

I was told that I needed to let Aaron get his rest,
and immediately thought about when Momma was
in the hospital. I prayed Aaron wouldn’t meet the
same fate she did.

Even though I was told I wouldn’t be able to see
Aaron again until the next day, I couldn’t leave the
hospital. I had to stay in case he woke up and
needed me. I spent the night saying prayer after
prayer. I had never been a religious guy, but I
needed help from someone and something bigger
than myself.

I was finally able to drift off to sleep, though for
only about an hour. When I awoke, my neck was
stiff and I had a huge headache, but that dulled
some as I walked around to get some coffee.

When I was able to see Aaron again, the nurse
asked me if I had contacted Aaron’s parents. It
had completely slipped my mind. I was so
worried about Aaron and his recovery that I hadn’t
even thought about anyone else.

After my short visit with Aaron, I took out my
phone, readying myself to make the call. How do
you call someone’s mom and dad and tell them that
their son, that you dragged across country, has
been in an accident and is in a coma? I knew it
was my fault. If it weren’t for me, he wouldn’t
even have been here to have an accident.

I stared at my phone for a long time. I had missed
calls from Mandy. I needed to tell her what
happened, but that would have to wait a little
longer. I dialed Aaron’s parents before I could
chicken out. I could barely hear the ringing of the

phone through my heartbeat.

“Hello Logan,” answered Aaron’s Mom. She
sounded so happy to get the call. I could hear the
smile leave her face as I told her about Aaron
being in the hospital. I barely got through the call
before erupting into tears again.

Chapter 7

Aaron’s parents caught the first plane available
and arrived just before midnight.

After visiting hours ended, I reluctantly left the
hospital and went home to freshen up before
picking up Aaron’s mom and dad from the airport.

“How is he?” Aaron’s dad asked after giving me a
hug. His mom was too busy crying to say much at
all. I knew how she felt. Seeing her pain got the
tears welling up under my eyelids again, but I tried
to remain strong.

“He’s in the ICU. The doctors say the surgeries
went well. He looks pretty banged up, but the
swelling has gone down some and some of the
bruising is fading,” I rambled on. I couldn’t
handle any more silence, so I just kept talking the
entire way back to the hospital.

“They won’t let us see him til morning,” I

reminded them as we parked the car.

“I know,” Aaron’s mom finally spoke up. “I just
need to be near my son.”

We got to the waiting area and I offered to go grab
coffee for everyone. I had to stay busy. The guilt I
felt was eating away at me.

Even though it was late, I called Mandy. “I’m
sorry it took so long for me to return your call,” I
told her and then went on to explain what had
happened to Aaron.

“Don’t worry about work,” she told me, “I’ll tell
Jodi what’s going on and that you won’t be in for a
while. Just call us if you need anything.” It was
nice to have people that cared about me. I was
never very good at leaning on others , though. The
only thing I needed right now was to have Aaron
back home, safe and healthy.

When I returned with the coffees, Aaron’s mom
was alone. “He just went outside to smoke,” she
told me when she saw me looking around for her

husband.

“I’m so sorry about all of this,” I told her. It didn’t
take long for the waterworks to start again.

“Shhh,” she said as she hugged me. “It’s not your
fault.”

“But it is!” I yelled. “Aaron came to Washington
for me…to be with me. If I didn’t drag him here,
none of this would’ve happened,” I insisted. My
eyes were full of tears, and snot was draining from
my nose. I’m not even sure Aaron’s mom could
tell what I was saying. I felt hysterical. It amazed
me how she was able to be there for me when she
was in so much pain over her son.

“Logan, it’s NOT your fault. Aaron loves you and
wouldn’t want you blaming yourself. As much as I
hate it, accidents happen.” She went on to tell me
that we needed to pray and be strong for Aaron so
he could recover and be as good as new.

By the time Aaron’s dad returned, I had regained
some of my composure. I excused myself to the

restroom so I could blow my nose and wash my
face. She was right. I had to be strong for Aaron.
He didn’t need me falling apart.

We all slept a little before morning, and then I
talked everyone into going to the hospital café for
breakfast. It was the first real food I had eaten
since Aaron didn’t show up for our date night. I
felt like my stomach would reject it, but I needed
nourishment so I could be strong for Aaron and his
family. I was only able to eat a little bit of my
oatmeal and toast, but the orange juice helped fill
me up. Aaron’s parents barely picked at their
food, but at least it was something.

Just before visiting hours began, we were told that
Aaron had come out of his coma. “He’s still in
very serious condition,” his doctor warned. Still,
it was the first bit of good news we had and gave
us some hope.

We were each given only five minutes to visit him,
and he wasn’t able to talk much. It was still nice
to get the chance to hold his hand and tell him that I

loved him.

“I love you too,” he told me through a scratchy
whisper. “I’m sorry…” he tried to add, but I told
him to save his energy. I started crying again, but
at least this time they were tears of happiness.

Aaron’s mom seemed more emotional after her
visit but I still sensed that we all felt some hope
finally. We stayed at the hospital until visiting
hours ended, just in case Aaron’s condition
changed.

“Let’s head to the house,” Aaron’s dad then
suggested. I could see that his wife didn’t want to
leave the hospital, but she reluctantly agreed.

That night, I had a dream that Aaron came home.
“Wake up, sleepy head,” he said.

“Aaron…is that you? You are supposed to be in
the hospital,” I tried to tell him, but he just leaned
down and kissed me gently on the lips.

He curled up next to me and we just remained that
way, not saying a word. It was enough to feel our

bodies pressed together…his heart beating to the
same rhythm as my own. As I started to drift off to
sleep, I felt him kiss my forehead. “You’re gonna
be fine…just remember I love you,” he said.

I woke up abruptly and searched the room for
Aaron before remembering he was in the hospital.
Twenty minutes later, my phone rang. It was the
hospital telling me that Aaron had started bleeding
internally and passed away.

Chapter 8

I flew back to Louisiana for Aaron’s funeral. It
was beautiful and the funeral home did a great job
at making Aaron look like his old self in the
casket. I didn’t mean any disrespect, but I had to
get away so I took a walk and sat down next to a
tree. I wanted to be alone with Aaron, and not
surrounded by tons of grieving family and friends.
They may not have blamed me, but I still did and
couldn’t look any of them in the eyes.

I closed my eyes and imagined Aaron was still
with me, sitting beside me watching his own
funeral. I imagined he was holding my hand. I
could almost feel his calloused fingers. “Aaron,” I
whispered, “how am I going to go on without
you?” I guess I was finally out of tears, because
only a single drop ran down my cheek.

I told myself that I had to stay as positive as I
could. At least I was able to see and talk to him

before he died. I had so many good memories of
him, but as many as there were they would never
be enough. I was supposed to have decades with
Aaron. I felt robbed…and bitter, and angry.

Eventually, Flo came over to the tree to see if I
was okay. “I can leave,” she said, sensing I might
want to be alone.

“No…stay. You loved him too. Are you okay?” I
asked, trying for once not to be so selfish.

“Is there really a right answer to that?” she said
through her tears with the hint of a smile as she
wiped her face. We sat in silence a little before
she pointed out that everyone was leaving for the
reception.

“I’m gonna stay a little while, I think,” I told her
and she agreed to stay with me. We spent the next
few hours telling stories about Aaron, and actually
managed to laugh a little. It felt good at least
focusing on the happier times.

As the sun went down, Flo said we should head to

the reception if it was even still going on.

“Yeah,” I agreed. “Aaron’s folks are probably
mad at me. I know they’re hurting too and I should
be there more for them.”

“I think they will understand. They are surrounded
by loved ones and you did give him a wonderful
funeral,” she reminded me. “When are you going
home?”

Home. I wasn’t even sure I still had one. It wasn’t
something that I had given any thought to. I wasn’t
even sure I could go back to the life Aaron and I
had together. It would be too painful. But, I didn’t
really have anywhere else to go.

“You can come back here to live,” Flo suggested.
That, too, would be painful. It’s where I met and
fell in love with Aaron. But now he was gone.
Besides that, it’s where Momma died. I decided
I’d worry about it all later.

After putting in a respectable amount of time with
Aaron’s parents, I asked if it would be okay if I

spend the night with Flo. I think they were just as
overwhelmed with the day’s events and were
happy to have some alone time to grieve without
having to be strong for me or anyone else.

“Okay, let’s get wasted,” I told Flo as soon as we
reached her house. She knew I didn’t really drink,
but didn’t say anything. If an exception could be
made, it was now. I just wanted to be numb. I
also wanted to celebrate Aaron’s life.

I hated the taste of alcohol so Flo suggested a drink
for me. “It’s called the penetrator. It’s a chilled
double shot of Absolut, with a sugar rimmed glass
and a lemon slice.”

She was right, I couldn’t even taste it as long as I
bit into the lemon after downing the shot and then
licking the sugar from the rim of the glass. Even
with the double-shots, it still took seven before I
felt even the slightest buzz.

With every drink, though, we took turns telling
stories of Aaron. I was glad to keep drinking if it
meant I could re-live memories of happy times

with Aaron.

I got to hear stories about him and Flo that I had
never heard before. Likewise, I told Flo stories
about our life together in Washington State.

Just before we called it a night, I told her about
how Aaron came to me in a dream right before he
died. As I told the story, or as much as I could
remember, both Flo and I got goose bumps.

“What am I gonna do without him?” I asked Flo as
I started crying again.

She hugged me and said, “He’s always going to be
with you, Logan. He told you that you were going
to be okay, remember?”

I wanted the words he told me in my dream to give
me strength and comfort…but they didn’t…not yet.

The next afternoon, I decided to go and visit my
step-brother, Tim. I hadn’t even told him about
Aaron yet, but I needed my brother. He was the
only other person I felt really close to.

“Call me when you get there,” Flo told me as she
dropped me off at the airport.

“I will. I promise,” I answered. “I’ll be okay…
don’t worry about me.” I didn’t know if it was the
truth or not. Only time would tell.

Chapter 9

KNOCK, KNOCK!

I stood outside of my brother’s apartment, hoping
he was home. I didn’t call first to let him know I
was even coming. I didn’t know how to explain
things on the phone. Maybe I just didn’t want to
try.

“Baby bro! How are you?” Tim said when he
answered the door. “Why didn’t you let me know
you were coming?” He didn’t seem upset that I
was there, just surprised.

“I didn’t really know myself,” I said with a laugh.
If I didn’t at least try to act like everything was
fine, I felt like I would have a nervous
breakdown.

“Well, this is Sarah, my girlfriend,” he announced
as he ushered me inside. Sarah was tall, blonde
and beautiful…just my brother’s type.

“I’m really sorry for busting in unannounced, and
at dinnertime.”

“It’s fine,” Sarah said as she gave me a quick hug.
“Tim’s told me so much about you.” From her
smile, I could tell Tim must have left out the more
sensitive items when telling his girlfriend about
me.

We talked and caught up over dinner. Sarah was a
vegan, so dinner was just a salad with tofu. I
wasn’t really too hungry anyways.

“So, how’s Aaron?” Tim asked midway through
dinner.

I painted a fake smile on my face, even though
inside I felt like throwing up. “I can tell you all
about my life later. Tell me all about what’s new
in your life.” It was a thin attempt at changing the
subject. It worked, though, for now.

After dinner, Tim suggested we take a walk. He
had to have known something important was on my
mind.

“So, what’s going on?” he said with a more
serious look once we were outside. “Are you
okay?”

Before even attempting to answer him, I just
hugged him tightly and started crying for what must
have been the millionth time since Aaron’s
accident.

“Whoa…baby bro, what’s wrong?” I know he
could feel me shaking, so I let go and tried to
regain my composure.

“It’s Aaron,” I began and told him about the
accident and everything that followed.

For a few minutes, he was speechless. If I was in
his position, I wouldn’t know what to say either.
“You should’ve called me,” he finally said, not
with a scolding tone but with one of deep
sympathy.

“I know,” I told him. We walked and talked for
the next hour. I told him that I didn’t know if I
could go back home.

“You can always move here,” he said. It was a
nice thought, but already things with Tim felt
different. In the past, it was always me and him.
With Sarah in the picture, the bond felt different
somehow….more reserved.

“Flo told me the same thing about moving back to
Louisiana. I don’t know what I wanna do, though.”

After our walk, I politely said goodbye to Sarah
and headed back to the hotel. Tim walked me to
my car. “Don’t leave town without saying
goodbye,” he ordered. “We’re having lunch
together, right?”

“Yes, I’ll see you at lunch. I promise!” I would
never break a promise to Tim. He was the only
real family I had left. I hated seeing him drift
away, but was happy for him all at the same time.
Sarah seemed nice and I could tell he really loved
her.

As I drove back to the hotel, I wondered if Tim felt
abandoned by me somehow when Aaron and I
moved to Washington together. I was so excited to

start my new life with Aaron that I never took a
moment to think about how Tim felt. A small part
of me felt like I was now losing a brother and I’d
hate if that’s how he felt back then.

I talked about it at lunch the next day, and he told
me he understood and would make a better effort
to keep us close.

“You know I love you, right?” he told me.

“I know you do. Why does life get so fucked up
though? When we were kids, at least, if anything
was wrong you would just hold me and I’d feel
better.”

“Questioning life will drive you crazy. You just
have to live everyday the best you can. Let those
you love know it, and try to make everyday better
than the last,” Tim answered. It was cliché but
true.

We opened up about a lot of things during that
lunch, and by the end of it I felt good about a
decision to head back home. I was going to keep

the house so I could feel closer to Aaron, and I
was still going to finish school and open up the
cupcake shop for Momma.

As we said our goodbyes, I gave Tim a hug. He
probably couldn’t breathe, I was squeezing so
tight. I didn’t want to ever let him go. “You know
I love you too, right?” I asked him as I stared into
his eyes. I wanted him to know I was dead
serious. He meant the world to me.

“I have always known that, baby bro. We’re
good.” He made me promise to call when I got
home, and promised he was going to check in
everyday so we never drifted even the slightest bit
apart.

As I sat in my window seat on the plane, I felt
better…calmer. I had a plan. I wouldn’t let
Momma’s and Aaron’s deaths be for nothing.

Chapter 10

It felt weird to be back home without Aaron, but I
tried to keep myself occupied with work and
school.

The school let me make up my missed assignments,
and told me that as long as I passed my semester
exams I’d receive credit for the classes. With
Levi’s help, I was caught up in no time.

The time I wasn’t in school or at Levi’s, I spent at
the bakery with Jodi and Mandy. They were both
very sympathetic. “You can take as much time off
as you need,” Jodi told me on my first day back.

“Thank you, but I need to work. I need to stay
busy,” I told her. The hardest thing for me was
being alone in the house at night, and sleeping
alone. I tried to pretend that Aaron was still there,
or just downstairs in the living room catching up
on some homework. Inside though, I knew
something was missing, and felt empty as I tried to

fall asleep.

The first few nights, I was able to dream of Aaron
at least. So, for that little time of unconsciousness,
I had him back. But, eventually even that faded.

“Do you want to come over tonight after work?”
Mandy asked me on my first Friday night back at
the bakery.

“I’d like that,” I replied. I still needed time to
mourn.

That night, Mandy, Dan and I played games and
watched movies. I thought I would feel like a third
wheel but they made sure I felt very included. As
we watched the movies, Mandy even had me sit in
the middle on the couch. She had me rest my head
on her lap and Dan draped my legs over his. It
was nice. Most boyfriends wouldn’t be that cool,
but Dan made sure I felt like I was hanging out
with two friends and not a couple.

“Are you sure this is cool?” I asked him. I felt a
little bit uncomfortable at first.

“Yeah, it’s fine, dude…but next time I’m in the
middle and you give me the leg massage,” he joked
which got us all laughing.

The more time I spent with Mandy and Dan, the
more I started feeling better. In the beginning, I
felt guilty for laughing or having any fun, but I
knew Aaron would never have wanted for me to
sit around being sad all the time.

I think Jodi was a little jealous over how much
time Mandy and I had begun spending together.
She even offered to have me over for dinner with
her and Shae.

“That’d be nice,” I told her as I finished bagging a
customer’s order.

“You know that guy?” she asked, referring to the
customer I had just helped.

“No, why?” I asked.

“I think he likes you,” she told me with a sly grin.
I didn’t know what to feel. I wasn’t ready to move
on from Aaron. Truthfully, I hadn’t even looked at

any other guys.

The next day, the same guy came in, and bought the
same items. He was a few years older than
myself, but very attractive. If I had to guess I
would say he worked in a bank or as a broker
somewhere. He wore an expensive, but trendy
suit…nice shoes, and drove an expensive car.

From his voice, I could tell he was gay even
though he didn’t sound too feminine. As I went to
hand him his change, he told me to keep it and then
winked at me. I added the four dollars and change
to the tip jar we kept on the counter.

A part of me wondered if he did like me. And, if
he did, should I feel guilty? Before I could form
an opinion, Jodi snuck up behind me. “See, I told
you he likes you,” she teased.

“I’m not ready to date,” I told her and it was the
truth. I had no desire to replace Aaron. At the
moment I didn’t care if I ever dated again.

“I know, Logan…but it’s still nice to flirt once in a

while,” she added with a wink. She was probably
right. I did like flirting, but even that felt like it
would be betraying Aaron’s memory.

“Hey,” I said to change the subject, “the school
semester will be over in two weeks. Do you think
I can get some extra hours while I’m on break?” I
needed the extra cash since I could no longer count
on Aaron’s paycheck. There was a settlement
from the insurance company of the driver that his
Aaron, but I told Aaron’s parents to keep that
money.

“Sure, honey,” Jodi said. “Whatever you need.” It
was good to have such and understanding boss.
And, with fall approaching, business was picking
up.

I spent the next two weeks working, hanging out
with Levi, Mandy and Dan, and Jodi and Shae. I
made sure to keep Friday night’s occupied, but the
nights at home didn’t really get any easier.

The week of my final exams, the solution
appeared.

“What’s wrong?” I asked Levi. I knew he wasn’t
nervous about the exam because he had all of the
information and techniques down pat, but he still
had a stressed look plastered across his face.

“I have to find a new place to live…and fast,” he
told me. “My roommates are moving out and I
can’t afford my apartment alone.” He went on to
explain that the lease was up for renewal the
following week and he just found out his
roommates were moving back home.

Before I even knew what I was saying I offered to
let him move in with me for the same rent he had
been paying at his apartment. “It’ll help me out,” I
added when he looked skeptical. I didn’t want to
say it, but we both knew I was referring to Aaron
no longer being around for company or to help
with the bills.

“Are you sure?” he asked.

“Yes. Don’t make me beg, dude,” I answered
which lightened the mood. It wasn’t until after the
exam and I was in my car that it sank in. I

wondered if I was making a mistake. Maybe it
was too soon to have someone else there. Still, I
thought it would be nice to have the place feel
more lived in again. And, the money would help,
too.

Chapter 11

Levi moved in the following weekend. Aaron and
I had never furnished the other bedrooms, so Levi
was able to easily move his stuff right in. Other
than furniture, most of his belongings were clothes,
CDs or DVDs. He did have two guitars and
promised he’d teach me how to play.

With the extra hours at work, I wasn’t home much.
But, when I was, it was nice to have someone else
there. Normally when I came home, Levi would
be in the kitchen cooking dinner for us. He looked
a little out of place with his apron on over his
normal clothes because he looked like a guy that
should be in an alternative rock band, not working
in a kitchen. He stood right at six feet, with broad
shoulders, and short, spiky, brown hair. He had
both ears pierced, and always wore small discs in
the holes to stretch them. The only pants I ever
saw him wear were torn jeans and he always had a
chain wallet in his back pocket. To go along with

the jeans, he always wore t-shirts, usually band t-
shirts.

As out of place as he looked standing in the kitchen
with his apron, as soon as I saw him chopping
food with his chef’s knife, that all disappeared.
He was in his element. I felt kind-of jealous
watching him. He was good at so many things,
unlike me.

“You just gonna stand there and stare, or get in
here and help?” he’d ask if I watched too long. He
didn’t really need my help. He just wanted to give
me the opportunity since we were both in culinary
school and could use practice. Mostly, though, I
concentrated on making the deserts, since I planned
to be a pastry chef.

At the bakery, Jodi asked me how my new living
situation was going. “It’s good,” I told her. “It’s a
little weird having someone else besides Aaron
there, but Levi is great.”

“Do I hear wedding bells?” she teased.

“No. Levi’s bi, but I’m pretty sure I’m not his
type. Besides, I’m not ready for another
relationship.” She looked skeptical but I told her
we were just friends.

“Well, when do we get to meet him at least?” Jodi
said as she frosted the last of the cakes.

I promised to talk to Levi about it and see about
having Jodi and Shae as well as Mandy and Dan
over for dinner sometime in the near future.

“Yeah, that’ll be great….more people to cook
for,” Levi said when I mentioned it over dinner
that night. If it were me, I’d be nervous about
meeting so many new people, but Levi wasn’t shy
at all. He seemed to have such an easy time
meeting people. He was a lot like Aaron in that
way.

We set out to pick a date. Thanksgiving was
coming up, so we figured we’d see if everyone
was free that day. Surprisingly, they were.

Levi took care of the dinner menu, and I made

some deserts. Rather than have the typical turkey
dinner, Levi wanted more of a challenge, so he
decided to make everything into small bites. That
way we could just snack as we talked and maybe
played games.

My palms got all sweaty as noon rolled around. I
ran around the house to double-check and make
sure everything was done. Other than Levi, I
wasn’t used to having anyone over to the house. It
was a big step to me. Even though none of the
guests were very judgmental, I still wanted to
make a good impression.

“They’re here!” yelled Levi from the living room
as the first car arrived. I hurried down the stairs to
open the door.

“Happy Thanksgiving, guys,” I told Mandy and
Dan as I welcomed them in. No sooner than I had
made the introductions did Jodi and Shae pull up.

I think I was the only really shy one in the group.
Shae was the biggest talker though. She was one
of those types of people that really didn’t realize if

she was talking too much. I found it cute, though.

In a matter of minutes, Levi seemed to have
bonded with everyone. It didn’t hurt that everyone
loved his food. It was amazing. I sometimes
wondered why he was in culinary school at all.
He seemed to have mastered everything he would
ever need to know to become an executive chef.

By six, we were all stuffed even with the food
served in small bites. My mini cheesecake
cupcakes got rave reviews. I was glad everyone
still had room for them after the great dinner.

We finished off the evening with a movie
marathon. I felt a little strange sitting on one of the
sofas next to Levi as we watched the movies.
Everyone else was paired off in couples. A small
part of me felt like I was cheating on Aaron by
sitting with Levi. I tried to put it out of my mind,
though, and just enjoy the night.

“I really liked your friends,” Levi told me as we
were cleaning up after everyone left. “Shae is a
riot!” I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Well, I think they are your friends, too, now,” I
told him.

He stopped washing the dishes and gave me a hug.
“Thank you, Logan.”

“What’s that for?” I asked. As much of a people
person as Levi was, he didn’t really open up about
his own life much. I sensed there was a lot of pain
behind his constant smile.

“Just for making me feel included,” he answered
and went back to washing dishes.

As I helped dry, I couldn’t help thinking about how
good the hug felt. It had been a while since I had
that kind of intimacy with another man.

Chapter 12

Over the next couple of months, we had a few
more gatherings at the house, and Levi and I
became closer friends. He still didn’t confide
much about his past with me, but I could respect
his privacy. He’d tell me what he wanted me to
know when the time was right for him.

Other than that, life had become kind-of
predictable. That is, until the last Thursday in
January. That’s when the guy Jodi claimed liked
me came into the bakery again. I hadn’t seen him
in a while. I just assumed he started coming in on
a different shift, or maybe stopped coming in
altogether.

“Hey,” I said as I approached the counter to help
him, “what can I get for you?”

He took a while to decide but ended up getting the
exact same items he also asked for. I laughed and
teased him. “It took you that long to order what

you always order?” I asked very light-heartedly.

“Well, maybe I just wanted more time to talk to
you,” he answered with a wink. I won’t lie and
say I didn’t find him attractive, because I did. He
was gorgeous. But, I just wasn’t ready for
anything more than friendship and told him so. “I
can do friendship,” he told me as he once again
told me to keep the change.

I thought about him the rest of the day. I wondered
if I’d ever be able to be interested in another guy
again. For the time being, mostly what I felt was
guilt.

Towards the end of my shift, the guy called to see
if I wanted to just get together as friends. It still
felt like he was asking me out on a date, but I made
my feelings very clear.

“Friends only?” I asked him. “Because I’m not
interested in dating, or anything else.” I explained
that I had recently gotten out of a long-term
relationship and was still healing.

Customers came in, so I told him I had to go but
agreed to catch a movie with him the following
night. It wasn’t until I hung up that I realized the
next night was Friday…mine and Aaron’s date
night.

I wanted to call and back out of the movie, but
didn’t have the guy’s phone number. I couldn’t
even remember his first name, though he just told it
to me on the phone only minutes earlier.

The entire next afternoon I felt queasy and sick. I
wasn’t going to stand the guy up, though, so I
sucked it up and prepared myself for what would
come. After all, it was only a movie.

Promptly at six, Devin showed up. Luckily for me,
he introduced himself to Mandy as he came in, so I
didn’t have to be embarrassed over not
remembering his name.

He drove and we made small talk on the way. He
agreed to see a fantasy-fiction movie that was a
sequel in a popular book and movie franchise.

“So, what do you do?” I asked as I nervously tried
to find something to do with my hands.

“I work for a record company,” he told me and
explained what his job entailed. I was way off,
thinking he was a banker or a broker.

When we got to the movie theater, Devin insisted
on purchasing my ticket. “I can claim it as a
business expense,” he chuckled. When he asked if
I wanted a drink or popcorn, I declined. I didn’t
want him paying for anything else. It already felt
too much like a date to me.

Luckily, for me, the movie was three hours long, so
I could just sit there and not have to worry about
being nervous or making small talk.

After the movie, though, Devin asked if I would
mind stopping for something to eat before he took
me back to the bakery. I felt bad that he bought my
movie ticket and only agreed to go if he let me buy
the meals.

“Deal,” he said.

We just drove over to the all night burger place
across the street from the theater. It was a college
hangout that resembled a 1950’s diner.

I was still nervous, but Devin did most of the
talking and leading the conversation. He didn’t
pry into delicate areas or make a pass at me, so I
did start to relax a little towards the end of the
night.

“You’re off tomorrow, right?” he asked as he
dropped me off. I forgot he knew my schedule
from all of the times he came into the bakery.

“Yeah, why?” I answered.

“Well, I thought we could hang out again. I’m off
too and I think we hit it off as friends.”

Everything in me said to make up an excuse, but I
just wasn’t a good liar so I agreed to get together.
I reluctantly gave him my address so he could pick
me up there, since we didn’t really know what we
wanted to do.

Levi was still up when I got home. He really

didn’t go out much. Most nights he just stayed
home and practiced his guitar. He did get a new
job as a busboy at a nice restaurant, but the hours
were short and he only worked three days a week.

“So, how was it?” he asked when I peeked my
head in his room.

I told him it was okay, but still felt a little weird.
“We’re going to hang out tomorrow too, though.
He’s picking me up here at five.”

“Should I make myself scarce?” Levi asked with a
huge, crooked smile.

“That’s not funny,” I told him.

“Aww. Lighten up. I’m not gonna be home
anyways. Gotta work,” Levi said as I was turning
to leave.

That night, I lay in bed and talked to Aaron…
asking him if he was okay with my meeting new
guys. I wanted to hear his voice answer me or get
a sign, but I was surrounded only by silence.

Chapter 13

After a night of tossing and turning, I finally awoke
refreshed at noon.

I spent the afternoon cleaning. Even if Devin was
only coming to pick me up, I didn’t want the place
to look messy. We kept it fairly clean, but after
seeing how immaculate Devin dressed and kept his
car, I needed to at least dust and clean up the
clutter. There were also a few dishes in the sink
leftover from Levi’s dinner last night.

“I’ll get those,” Levi said as he saw me loading the
dishwasher.

“I got it,” I answered. I didn’t mind doing a few of
his dishes. After all, he did most of the cooking. I
didn’t eat last night, but he did put some of the
enchiladas he made last night in the refrigerator for
me so I could have them for lunch.

After I finished cleaning up, I ate the enchiladas

and then added the tupperware container and my
fork to the dishwasher before starting it.

“I’ll see you later tonight,” Levi yelled from the
living room.

I was surprised he was leaving so early, but he
explained he had some errands to run before
work.

I ended up taking a short nap, but barely woke up
in time to get ready for Devin’s arrival.

As that day before, he arrived promptly on time.
He reminded me of Aaron in that way.

“Would you like to come in?” I asked him, more so
to be polite. He accepted and took a seat on the
couch. I took the seat beside him and tried to make
small talk. “Do you know what you want to do?” I
asked.

Neither of us really had any ideas, so Devin
suggested we just stay in and watch some movies.
It seemed harmless enough.

Midway through the movie, Devin said, “See, this
is nice.”

As the movie went on, though, he started rubbing
my leg. “Whoa…friends only, remember?” I told
him and sat up straight.

“Why don’t you like me, Logan?” he asked,
moving his hand back to my thigh.

“I said STOP!” I told him, but he didn’t pull back.
In fact, his advances grew stronger.

“Just suck my dick a little,” he said, trying to
convince me maybe that that’s what friends did.

“I’m not interested,” I said and moved to stand up.
As I headed for the door, he grabbed me and
pushed me up against the wall.

“Oh, I get it,” he said, “you want money. Is that
it? Are you a whore?”

I kneed him in the groin and told him to get out of
my house, and ran upstairs. Before I could get the
bedroom door closed and locked, he barged in.

“I’m calling the police!” I threatened, but he
grabbed me again before I could even get my
phone out of my pocket. I wasn’t weak, but he was
stronger.

“You’re gonna suck my cock and swallow my load
one way or the other,” he told me as he groped my
crotch.

CRASH!

I wasn’t sure what happened, but Devin slumped to
the ground, and there were pieces of glass
everywhere.

“Are you alright?” Levi asked me.

“Yeah,” I answered, shaken. “When did you get
here?”

“Just in time, it looks like.” He asked me if I
wanted to call the police, but I told him I’d rather
just get Devin out of the house and forget about the
night. As we carried Devin outside and sat him
next to his car, he started coming to.

“We’ve called the police, mother fucker,” Levi
bluffed and we headed back inside. Five minutes
later, Devin’s car was gone.

I told him not to worry about it, but Levi helped me
up to my bed, and told me to rest. “I’ll be fine,” I
told him.

“I know you will, but do you mind if I sleep in
here for the night?” he asked. It was nice of him to
worry about me so I agreed.

We both got under the covers completely clothed
and turned on the TV. When I sensed Levi was
getting sleepy, I turned the TV off.

“You don’t have to turn it off,” he told me, though
he was half asleep and didn’t even have the energy
to fully open his mouth as he talked.

“It’s okay. I’m sleepy too.”

“I love you, Logan. Sweet Dreams,” he muttered.
He had never said that to me before, and probably
wouldn’t have then either if he had been fully
conscious. I could’ve ignored it, but I decided to

say it back as I kissed his forehead. “I love you
too, Levi.”

Levi just mumbled something before turning over
and starting to snore.

I didn’t know if Levi would remember anything the
next morning, but I know I did love him…whether
that love was brotherly, as a friend, or more
romantic.

Chapter 14

That night wasn’t the only night Levi was there for
me. A month later, I started looking into all of the
costs to get the cupcake shop up and running. I
still had over a year of school, but I wanted to
have plenty of time to get a storefront, business
license, and all the other million things I would
need to open as soon as I graduated.

It turned out, though, after the down-payment on the
house, the funeral expenses, and normal living
expenses, I didn’t have as much money left as I
would need. Even if I leased instead of buying a
building, I would only have enough money to last a
few months.

Suddenly, it seemed like another dream was
broken and shattered.

“What’s wrong,” Levi asked me when he saw me
still in bed at four in the afternoon. If he
remembered telling me that he loved me or hearing

that I said it back, he never brought it up. Things
between us were how that had always been….with
us friends.

I explained everything to him. I didn’t expect him
to help, since he didn’t have any money himself. It
was still good to just get it all off my chest.

“I’m sure your mom would understand if you
couldn’t get the cupcake shop open,” he said.

“I know, but I wanted to do it for her…to honor
her.”

“You honor her everyday…with your work, your
thoughts and your goals.” Levi was right.
Everything I was doing was for her.

I tried to clear my mind and not think about it
again, and, for a little while, life went along as
usual.

“Are you and Levi free this Sunday?” Jodi asked a
month or so later. I told her that I’d have to check
but that I thought Levi was off work that day.
“Great. I have something important to announce.

We’re going to close up the shop that day so you
and Mandy can come over for the announcement.”
Of course, Dan and Levi were invited, and Shae
would be there as well.

Mandy and I speculated on what the news could
be. “Maybe they’re adopting a baby,” she
guessed.

“I don’t know. Maybe,” I said. I would assume
we would have heard something about it in all this
time if that was the case, but I couldn’t think of
anything else it could be.

That Sunday, as everyone was seated around
Jodi’s dining room table, she finally decided to
spill the beans.

“I know you all are wondering what the surprise
announcement is. And, no, Mandy, we’re not
adopting a baby,” Jodi said. “But, we are getting a
new addition.”

We all looked quizzically at each other, not really
sure what Jodi was talking about.

“What’s the new addition,” I finally asked when
she didn’t continue.

“I’m glad you asked, Logan,” Jodi answered as she
passed out some large postcards.

It showed a watercolor portrayal of the bakery, but
with it expanded to the empty space next door.
There was a sign in the window that read: NOW
FEATURING

MOMMA’S

DELIGHT

CUPCAKES!

“What is this?” I asked as tears filled my eyes.

“Devin told us that you didn’t think you could fund
your new business the way you had hoped, and for
a few months now Shae and I have discussed
buying the space next door to the bakery and
expanding. I’d like to partner with you so that you
can sell your cupcakes in the new addition.”

Jodi’s words meant the world to me. I wanted to
tell her how much, but I couldn’t stop crying.
Everyone around the table laughed and clapped for
me.

“This is too much…thank you,” I told Jodi and
Shae.

“Well, some of the thanks goes to Levi. You’ve
got a good friend there,” Shae said as she patted
Levi on the back.

“You’re right,” I told her as I got up from my seat.
“Thank you too, Levi.” Before I could stop
myself, I kissed him on the lips and gave him a
great big hug. He kissed me back and the other
guests at the table started hooting and hollering.

The bakery addition wouldn’t be ready until just
after Levi and I graduated, but I was excited. My
life and dreams hadn’t turned out how I expected
or hoped when I made the move with Aaron to
Washington State, but life still had a way of
working out. I didn’t get to spend my life with
Aaron and I knew I would miss him everyday.
Something told me, though, that he would approve
of Levi. And, as far as my cupcake shop for
Momma, the vision changed but I was still able to
honor her and that’s all that really mattered.

I was, for the first time in my life, surrounded by
people that I loved and that loved me. There was
no pain, or sorrow, or struggling. My only wish
was that Aaron could be there with me, but I knew
he was up in Heaven smiling down at me.

Check out another Great Porterlance Book:

As the Snow Falls

Volumes 1

M.D. James

Turn the page for a preview...

Chapter 1

“Naw. She’s okay.” I half managed to get out as
my friends were teasing me about having a crush
on April Powders.

“Yeah, you do! Ohhhh, yeah, you do! Jimmy likes
April. Jimmy likes April,” Mikey sang out loud
while dancing around our lunch table. I’m not sure
how, exactly, I became friends with Mikey. I
suppose it was because we had homeroom together
since I could remember. He was very tall for a
thirteen year old and built like a lumber-jack.
And, like you’d assume from looking at his
unkempt hair and dirt-stained face, he had
absolutely no manners. He didn’t even care if
there were girls around when he needed to pass
gas, or shoot a booger out of his nose. And, he
certainly didn’t mind embarrassing me in front of
April Powders.

I was quickly turning beet red, and wanted to die.

April was a girl who I sat next to each day in my
English literature and biology classes. She had
curly, brown hair that always smelled like roses.
She was our class president, and my lab partner in
biology. The truth was, I did have a bit of a crush
on her, but I’d never tell Mikey that. No need to
give him more ammunition to use on me later. It
was always so hard to concentrate on the biology
lesson when I was sitting next to April. I was
magically transported into the wishful thinking of
my mind by the lovely, clean scent of April’s hair.
I would get so nervous, though, that I had to
constantly wipe the palms of my hands on my pants
in class. They would sweat so much when I was
around her. I mean, they would sweat a lot…so
much so, that I felt like a sweat factory in biology!
I probably left class everyday with pit stains under
my arms too. I’m sure she thought I was a
complete and utter idiot.

Being thirteen and in high school was hard to
figure out. As a teen and high-schooler, I was
supposed to hit on girls every chance I got and try

to get dates or more from them…but, just last year
I was made fun of if I even had a crush on a girl, or
a girl had a crush on me. I never really knew what
to do, and Mikey seemed to know that and pounced
on me every chance he got. Unfortunately, for me,
he got a lot of chances. I mean A LOT!

“Aww…leave him alone, Mike,” my best friend,
Connor, interjected. “Can’t ya see he’s
embarrassed?”

Connor was everything I wished I was. He was
taller than me…standing at five foot nine inches.
He was athletic and toned. He had brown hair and
hazel eyes like me, but also kind-of a crooked
smile that seemed to make girls swoon. He was
the kind of guy who was smart, funny, witty, goofy,
and outgoing. I felt very lucky to have him as my
best friend. I could tell Connor anything and know
my secrets were safe with him. He was
completely trust-worthy, and we had been friends
since I was nine years old. That’s when he
stopped a bully from beating my face to a bloody
stump. I know he was just trying to protect me this

time too, but Mikey was hard to reel in when he
knew he was getting under a person’s skin.

Just as Mikey was about to start in again, and
likely embarrass me to even greater depths than
before, the school bell loudly rang.

RRIIIINNNNNGGGGGG….

Saved by the bell, lunch was over.

I exhaled a huge sigh of relief, as I picked up my
trash and partially eaten sandwich and tossed them
in the fly ridden trash can. I missed while trying to
shoot the balled up wrapper into the can, as if it
was a basketball. I quickly looked around to make
sure Mikey didn’t see my failure, and it seemed
that I was in the clear for once. Now, I just had to
make it through the rest of the day.

Connor and I told Mikey we would see him later
since he had Algebra class on the other end of
campus. As we walked away, Mikey yelled at the
top of his lungs, “Jimmy! See ya later, Loverboy!”
and cracked up laughing to himself as he blew a

kiss in my direction. About thirty kids stopped and
started looking at me and laughed…some
hysterically.

“Don’t mind him, dude,” Connor offered, and
playfully tussled my hair as he broke away to his
locker. He always knew how to make me feel
better.

The next few classes went well. I didn’t have any
classes the second half of the day with either
Mikey or April, so I could just focus on my
schoolwork. I was always a teacher’s pet type of
guy. I naturally got good grades, and was always
polite and attentive to my teachers. I didn’t
brown-nose or anything, but I still got singled out
as the example to follow in quite a few of my
classes.

Finally, the last bell of the day rang and I couldn’t
wait to get home. Mom said that if I got my
homework done early enough, we could go look at
Christmas lights around town. I’ve always loved
Christmas. Living in Washington State, I was

fortunate enough to get a white Christmas every
year. It just seemed to make everything so much
more magical. The lights seemed to twinkle more,
as they reflected off the snow and ice…and the
people became just a tiny bit happier, in spite of
having to drive in a foot of snow. The cold
temperatures made me wanna get a fire going in the
fireplace, and drink hot cocoa while watching my
favorite Christmas television special. I had to
imagine the fire since we never had a fireplace in
our house.

Connor and I lived right next door to each other, so
we always walked home together and talked about
our day. It was actually the part of my day I
normally looked forward to most.

“Wanna have a snowball fight throw-down?”
Connor challenged as we passed the park near our
houses. A snowball fight throw-down is like the
ultimate snowball fight….winner takes all. The
last three years Connor has held the championship,
but I was determined to beat him one day. It
would have to wait until some other day though.

“Can’t today, bud. We’re going to go look at
Christmas lights tonight, so I gotta get my
homework for Mrs. Schiltz’s class done ASAP!” I
answered. “Maybe tomorrow.”

“Deal.” Connor said with one of his patented
winks as we each crossed our front yards.

As soon as I opened the worn and squeaky door, I
threw off my snow covered shoes and ran straight
to the fridge. I was fortunate enough to have a very
good metabolism. Though, sometimes, I wondered
if I was too thin. I weighed just under one hundred
and thirty pounds. I felt like that was a good
weight for my age and height. I grabbed some
whole wheat bread, three or four ham slices,
colby-jack cheese, and some Cheez-Its and headed
to my room. I put a sandwich together quickly, and
got my books out of my hand-me-down book bag.

“Is that you, Honey?” I heard Mom yell from down
the hall. My Mom was a very pretty lady, who had
to raise two kids all alone. She worked hard as a
deli manager in our local super-market, and

always seemed to have a smile on her face.
Sometimes, I worried that she worked too hard.
She was older than most of my friends’ moms, and
shouldn’t have been doing as much manual labor
as she did. My friends used to tease me when I
was little about my Mom being the same age as
their grandmas, but I still thought she was the best
Mom around. When I would see laundry detergent
commercials on television, I remembered my
childhood being just like what was portrayed in
them. The rays of sun would be coming in the
windows, with a gentle spring breeze. Mom
would always have everything smelling so great,
and welcome me home from school with a perfect
smile on her loving face.

“Yeah. I’m starting on my homework now. Are
we still going to look at lights tonight?” I asked
her.

“As long as you and your sister get your homework
done in time,” she hollered back from down the
hall.

My sister’s name was Sarah. Don’t let the angelic
sounding name fool you. She was pretty…she
definitely got Mom’s looks. She had the same
long, wavy, blonde hair that shimmered, and eyes
that changed between blue and green depending
upon which type of a mood she was in. Her skin
was very pale, almost porcelain-like. But, my
sister could be mean….to me, at least. I guess that
was to be expected from an older sister. She just
turned sixteen, and thought she was too cool to
hang around her dorky, younger brother. Even as
kids, she seemed to find ways to torment me while
we played together. When I was barely eight, she
would only play with me if I would pet and talk to
her feet. She would pretend they were turtles, and
if I didn’t pet them, and snuggle with them, their
feelings would get hurt. On several occasions, she
made me eat the dead skin from her feet…telling
me it tasted like bacon, and that the turtles made it
for me. And, of course, she always got her way.
Anytime we had to pick a game to play or decide
on what to watch on TV, it was always what she
wanted. I always figured my mom loved her more,

but it could’ve just been that she was mom’s first-
born, or because they were both girls. Maybe it
was just because my sister threw the biggest fit if
she didn’t get her way. One time, we were having
an argument at Wendy’s about something and she
took her packet of black pepper and blew the
pepper right into my eyes. Boy, did it burn! Of
course, she claimed it was an accident, but, I knew
better. I told myself that I hoped she wasn’t
planning on coming home late and messing up our
trip to go see the Christmas lights.

BANG, BANG, BANG!

I sprung up from my history homework, as my
sister barged into my room and collapsed onto my
bed, scattering my homework all over the place.

“What’s wrong with you?” I asked a bit too rudely
when I heard my sister’s sobbing.

“I don’t want to talk about it!” she replied. I
moved my homework out of the way, because I
thought her nose was running and I definitely didn’t
need snot all over my report when I turned it in.

“You wouldn’t even understand,” she continued in
between sobs.

“How do you know what I’d understand?” I asked,
defensively.

“Men!” she exclaimed. Before I could figure out
what she meant, she rambled on like I wasn’t even
there. “They will tell you they love you, and that
you mean the world to them…but, don’t you
believe them. Oh no! Don’t you believe them!”

I don’t really expect to ever be in that position
with a man, but okay…..

“They’re all the same and only after one thing.
Why can’t Andrew understand that I want to take it
slower than that? He tried to get me to hook-up
last night, you know?” she asked rhetorically to no
one in particular, as if I weren’t really even there.
“And, then, when I said I just wanted to kiss…he
said he was fine with it. But, today he gives me
the silent treatment all day, and at lunch I see him
flirting with Angela ‘the slut’ Morgan!”

“Should I be hearing this?” I asked, but she
continued as if not even hearing me.

“If he wants Angela ‘the slut’ Morgan, well, he can
have her! I’ve got lots of guys wanting to date me.
That’s what I’ll do! I’ll go out with another guy
tonight. See how he likes it!” Before she could
ramble more, I stopped her and reminded her that
we were all going to look at Christmas lights.
“Grow up, Jimmy! How can you think of
Christmas lights at a time like this???” And, with
that, she stormed out of my room, likely to go
repeat the entire thing to Mom.

Even if she decided she didn’t want to go look at
the lights with me and Mom, I was still excited. I
spent the next two hours doing my report until I
smelled dinner. As I was packing my books back
into my book bag, Mom yelled out, “Dinner time!”

I raced to the dining room, and saw we were
having a “taco night.” Not very Christmassy, but I
loved Mexican food. Laid out on the table were
hard, corn tortillas as well as soft, flour tortillas.

There was ground, seasoned beef, refried beans,
two kinds of shredded cheese, black olive slices,
lettuce, onions, diced tomatoes, salsa and sour
cream. My sister was already seated at the table
and seemed to be in better spirits. As always, I
started loading up my plate first.

“Hungry much?” my sister asked in a sarcastic
tone.

“You bet…” I replied with my mouth full as I
continued shoving the first bite in my mouth. The
taco broke and all its fillings dropped out onto my
plate. Mom and Sarah laughed contagiously.

After dinner, Sarah and I cleaned the table and
dishes. She made me wash because she said her
hands were too delicate for dish-water. Oh,
brother! I didn’t mind though because I never
liked drying dishes anyways. I always thought I
was going to drop and break them because they
were so slippery. Once the left-overs were put up
and the kitchen was sparkling clean again, Mom
told us to get our coats and shoes on so we could

get on the road for some good ole Christmas light
lookin’.

“You don’t have to tell me twice….” I hollered as
I raced to find my shoes.

“Jimmy! I’ve told you not to get snow all over the
place when you come in from school,” Mom
complained when she saw the mess the snow from
my shoes made. “Go get a towel and mop up the
puddles, please.” I hurried and cleaned up the
mess, and we all hopped in the car.

Brrrr, rrrr, rrrr, rrrrrr….cachuk!

Mom’s car was an older, powder-blue, Chrysler
station-wagon that never seemed to want to start
when it was cold outside. Mom tried again, and it
finally cranked. “Oh my God…it’s sooooo c-c-
coooollllddddd in here,” Sarah complained. She
always seemed to be complaining about
something. Mom turned on the Christmas carols to
take our minds off of the frigid car while it slowly
warmed up. Then, she stepped outside to scrape
the ice from the windshield. Meanwhile, I bundled

up in the blanket I kept on the back seat for long
trips. I got car sick very easily, so if we were
going to be in the car long, I always had to nap to
prevent myself from getting too nauseous. There
was always a blanket and pillow waiting for me,
just in case.

“Jingle Bells! Jingle Bells! Jingle all the
waaaayyyy…” I sang as we backed out of the
driveway. The car began to heat up and we started
out to the first neighborhood. The first few houses
didn’t have any lights on, even though their yards
were decorated. We did manage to find enough
houses that had their lights on to make it worth it,
though. We sang along to the carols on the radio,
in between our trio of “ooohhhhs” and “aaahhhs”
as we saw bigger and bigger displays of lights.
One house even had wooden cut outs of cartoon
characters, and had re-enacted a scene from my
favorite Christmas special, involving a lonely
Christmas tree.

Once we left a few of the smaller neighborhoods,
we made our way to the King of Neighborhoods,

as I nick-named the sub-division due to the
enormous sizes of the houses. I don’t know if
you’d call the houses in Ashton Woods Estate
mansions, but they are certainly the biggest houses
I had ever seen. Each house was covered in stone,
and even had a smaller attached home for their
housekeepers or cooks. We weren’t what I would
call poor, but we rented our home…and had an
older car. Mom provided for my sister and I
alright and we haven’t been on welfare. Even so,
money was tight. I could never imagine living in a
house as large and luxurious as the ones I was
looking at. There must have been at least seven or
eight bedrooms in each main house…and probably
just as many bathrooms. Imagine that….not
having to share a bathroom with Sarah anymore.
It brought a smile to my face.

The lights and decorations on the mansions looked
so elegant. It was my absolute favorite stop every
year. My mom always worried that we would get
arrested, because of the looks of our car. “Surely,
they’ll think we’re casing the joint,” she always

joked. One of the houses had a huge tree in the
middle of the spacious, front yard, and they always
decorated it to look like a Christmas tree,
complete with the tree skirt and larger than life
presents underneath. It was so big, it reminded me
of the tree at the end of the How the Grinch Stole
Christmas cartoon special. If I would ever
become rich, I’d want to give my Mom a
Christmas tree like that…with just as many
presents.

We continued looking at more houses and more
pretty lights, but I must have fallen asleep because
I awoke to my Mom tucking me in to bed.

“Sweet dreams, Jimmy,” she said as she kissed my
forehead.

“Goodnight, Mom,” I lazily muttered back.

BBBBBZZZZZ. BBBBBZZZZZ. BBBBBZZZZZ.
BBBBBZZZZZ.

I hated my alarm clock. Connor had an iPod dock
that would wake him to his favorite music. I didn’t

have an iPod or cell phone…hell; we didn’t even
have enough money for a generic mp3 player. I
tossed my simple but effective alarm clock across
the room and slowly got out of bed.

I had to bang on the bathroom door, repeatedly.
“Hurry up!” As usual, Sarah was in there doing
her makeup. “You can do that in your room,” I
suggested for about the millionth time.

“I have to look extra, extra hot today, you know…
so I can make Andrew jealous,” she explained as
she exited our only bathroom, “…so, chill out,
dweeb.”

“Whatever…” I mumbled as I closed the door and
started the shower. I wasn’t really a vain guy. I
didn’t get haircuts every two weeks like Connor,
or workout religiously like Mikey. Most days I
barely ran a comb through my hair. But, I thought I
was an attractive enough guy, in an average sort of
way.

After getting ready and grabbing my book bag, I
made my way next door to Connor’s so we could

head to the bus stop. We always rode the bus on
cold mornings, because it was just too cold and
early to make a hike to school in the snow and ice.
Most of our friends got rides to school from their
parents, but Connor’s parents and my Mom were
already at work by the time school started.

As we pulled up to the school, Mikey was there
waiting. “What took ya’ll so long?” he asked with
a fake, southern drawl.

“We’re here at the same time as always, Mikey,” I
replied. He just punched my shoulder and started
telling us about the cool, new tablet computer he
got last night for Hanukkah. Mikey lived on the
wealthier side of town. His parents were both
doctors, so he tended to always have the best of
everything. I liked living vicariously through him,
especially when he would tell us about all the new
gadgets he got as presents. But, after 10 minutes of
him rambling on about this new $700 tablet
computer, even I was jealous and ready to change
the subject. “So….how did you guys think you did
on yesterday’s English Lit test?” I offered to steer

the subject in a different direction.

“I aced that biotch!” exclaimed Mikey, even though
he rarely got anything above a “C.”

“I think I did pretty well, too,” I stated.

Of course, Mikey had to start in on me, again.
“I’m surprised you could concentrate on the test,
what, with you drooling over April all day.”

“I think that was you, Mike!” Connor interjected,
coming to my rescue yet again. “We’d better get to
homeroom, though, before the bell rings.” We took
our seats just as the second bell rang.

The rest of the day went by without incident. In
Biology, April even gave me a note that of course
smelled of roses. I waited until last period,
though, to read it:

Jimmy,

I think you’re really
cute. I hope you
think

I’m

pretty,

also.

I was hoping you’d
ask me to the Winter
Dance, if you don’t
already have a date.

Let

know…

okay?

It was a short note, but one that made me very
happy. It got me equally as nervous, though. I had
never even held a girl’s hand…so how was I going
to take one to the dance? I had nothing to wear,
and I’d have to get a corsage. At the end of the
night, she’d probably expect me to kiss her. It’s
not that I didn’t want to, but what if I was bad at it
and she told everyone at school? I definitely
didn’t want Mikey to know about this note, but I’d
probably tell Connor about it on the way home
from school.

“Hey, Connor,” I started as we made our way
home, “April gave me a note today in Biology.”

“No way, dude! That’s great….what’d it say?”

“She wants to go to the Winter Dance with me.” I
explained. Connor thought that was great. “But,
I’m scared. I have never been that close to a girl.
How will I know if I should kiss her?”

“You’ll just know,” he offered with confidence.
Connor had kissed a few girls over the last year,
even though he never really dated any of them.

“How will I know how to kiss,” I asked, “…so I
don’t gross her out?”

My best friend just started cracking up laughing.
“You know I’m your best friend and would do
anything for you, dude….but, I’m not kissing you!”
he teased. Hearing that made me laugh and
lightened my mood.

That is, until we rounded the next corner. Blue and
red lights were flashing near my house. I could
see a portly police officer putting my Mom in the

back of a squad car. She was handcuffed!

I forgot about Connor and the note from April, and
sprinted to my house as the police car containing
my Mom drove off. I don’t know when I started
crying, but tears were streaming down my face. At
first, I figured it was just snowflakes that landed
on me, melting. I was screaming, trying to catch
my mother. I didn’t know what was going on. As I
reached my house, a tall, middle-aged, uniformed
officer asked if I was James Nelson.

“Where did you take my Mom?” I screamed,
through my sobbing and tears.

“It’ll be alright, son,” the officer told me. “Are you
James Nelson?”

“YES! YES! Why did you take my Mom away?” I
demanded.

“Because she isn’t your Mom,” the tall officer
answered.

That’s all I remember before I fainted.

Click here to purchase “As the Snow Falls – Vol.
1” by M.D. James from the Kindle Store.

Table of Contents

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13

The Homecoming Reunion John Green

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3

Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12

The Broken Dreams John Green

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Excerpts from As the Snow Falls Volumes 1

Document Outline

Copyright
Books by John Green:
The Coming Out Series John Green
- Chapter 1
- Chapter 2
- Chapter 3
- Chapter 4
- Chapter 5
- Chapter 6
- Chapter 7
- Chapter 8
- Chapter 9
- Chapter 10
- Chapter 11
- Chapter 12
- Chapter 13
The Homecoming Reunion John Green
- Chapter 1
- Chapter 2
- Chapter 3
- Chapter 4
- Chapter 5
- Chapter 6
- Chapter 7
- Chapter 8
- Chapter 9
- Chapter 10
- Chapter 11
- Chapter 12
The Broken Dreams John Green
- Chapter 1
- Chapter 2
- Chapter 3
- Chapter 4
- Chapter 5
- Chapter 6
- Chapter 7
- Chapter 8
- Chapter 9
- Chapter 10
- Chapter 11
- Chapter 12
- Chapter 13
- Chapter 14
Excerpts from As the Snow Falls Volumes 1

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