SEXGOD

MARIEFORCE

HTJB,Inc.

CONTENTS

Chapter1
Chapter2
Chapter3
Chapter4
Chapter5
Chapter6
Chapter7
Chapter8
Chapter9
Chapter10
Chapter11
Chapter12
Chapter13
Chapter14

Epilogue
AbouttheAuthor

Se xGod

By:Marie Force

PublishedbyHTJB,Inc.

Copyright2017.HTJB,Inc.

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“I

CHAPTERONE

marriedthefirstmanwhomademecome,”Laurensaysmatter-of-factly,“andweallknowhowthat

turnedout.”

ThechickenwingI’mabouttostuffinmyfaceisnowsuspendedinmidairasherwordssinkintomy

sex-starvedbrain.“WaynePetersonwasthefirstguytomakeyoucome?”

“Don’tjudgeme.”Shelicksthebarbecuesaucefromherwingbeforeshetakesadaintybite.I’m

fascinatedbythewaysheeatsawingwithoutgettingevenasmudgeofsauceonherlips,whereasIfeel
likeI’vetakenabathinthestuff.“Ididn’tevenknowwhatanorgasmwasuntilWaynegavemeone.”

Fascinated,Ileanincloser.“How’dhedoit?”
“Tongue,”shesays,alsoleaninginsoshecan’tbeoverheard.InMarfa,Texas,someoneisalways

listening.“Ialsodidn’tknowpeopledid…that…untilWaynedidittome.”

Thismakesmelaughbecauseshe’ssodamnedcuteasshesaysit.“IwasfourteenwhenIcaught

TommygoingdownonDebbieinthebasementfamilyroom.IhadnoideawhattheyweredoinguntilI
sawhistongueoutandhisfaceallslimy.Shewassquealinglikeapigandpullinghishair.Ithoughtit
wasthegrossestthingI’deverseen.”

Shesputterswithlaughter.“OhmyGod!Didheknowyousawthem?”
“Nope.”Mybrother,threeyearsolderthanme,surelywould’vekilledme,iffornootherreasonthan

I’dgottenaneyefulofhispreciousDebbie’sbushandtits.They’vebeenmarriedclosetotenyearsnow
andliveinCalifornia,whichmeansalltheresponsibilityformydad’sbusiness,ourmotherandyounger
siblingsfallstomewhilemyolderbrotherliveslargeontheWestCoast.That’sasoresubjectItrynotto
thinktoomuchabout.

“Well,youwerewayaheadofmeinfiguringthatoneout.”
Sinceshenever,evertalksabouttheex-husbandwhoknockedheraroundonhiswayoutoftownto

partsunknown,Itakethisopportunitytodigalittledeeper.“Sobeforeitwentbadwithhim,itwas
good?”

“Nah,itwasnevergood.Ithinkhemademecomethreetimesintotal.Hewasalwaysanasshole,but

hedidn’tbecomeaviolentassholeuntilsixmonthsafterImadethehugemistakeofmarryinghim.”

ThethoughtofgiganticWaynePetersongettingroughwithtinyLaurenmakesmefuckingfurious.“I

hopeyouknowthere’realotofguysinthistownwho’dlovefiveminutesaloneinaroomwiththatsonof

abitch.”

ShetakesadrinkfromherbottleofBud,hereyesshiningwarmlyatme.“You’reverysweettosay

so.”

“Imeanit.IfIeverlayeyesonthatassholeagain,I’llshowhimwhatitfeelsliketogettheshitkicked

outofhim.”AndIcoulddoit,too.Imightpushpaperforaliving,butIworkoutlikeafiend.That’sone
ofseveralwaysIdealwiththestressofbeingstuckinalifeIneversignedonfor.

“How’dwegetonthissubjectanyway?”sheasksafteralongsilence.
WithLauren,silenceisalwayscomfortable.Neitherofusfeelstheneedtofillthevoidwithpointless

chatter.Ourfriendshipislikeawell-oiledmachine,exceptinthebedroom,whereitallfellaparttheone
timewetriedtotakethisflirtation-slash-slow-burn-slash-unfulfilled-desire-that-is-ever-presentbetween
ustothenextlevel.

Howdoyouspelld-i-s-a-s-t-e-r?
Untilthatnightsixmonthsago,Ihadn’tknownitwaspossibletodosexwrong.Idon’tliketobrag,

buttheword“god”hasoftenbeenusedregardingmyabilitiesbetweenthesheets.UntilItookLaurento
bed,I’dbeentherecipientofanendlessstreakoffive-starreviewsonmyperformance.Butloand
behold,it’sactuallypossibletogetitsowrongyouaren’tsureifyou’lleveragainbeabletolookatthe
womanyou’velustedafterforyears—whiletellingyourselfyou’re“just”friends—intheaftermathof
suchcalamity.

“Ihavenoideahowwegotonthissubject,”IreplyasIshakeoffthedisturbingmemories.
“Weweretalkingaboutorgasms,”sheremindsme.
Theword“orgasms”remindsmeofthedreadfulencounterthatthrewabucketoficeonourlongtime

slowburnforeachother.Therewerenoorgasmsthatnight.“You’retalkingorgasms.I’mtryingtoeatmy
wings.”ThankGodwewereabletosalvagethefriendshipthatmeanssomuchtobothofus,notto
mentionourgroupofmutualfriends.

Herbestfriend,Honey,gottogetherwithmyclosefriendBlakelastyear,andthey’dlovetoseeus

together,too.Thatisn’tgoingtohappen,butbeerandwingsonMondays?Thathappenseveryweek
withoutfail.IfIfindmyselflivingforMonday,well…

Shelaughsatmycommentabouttryingtoeatmywings.Ilovethesoundofherlaugh.There’s

somethingearthyandsexyanddirtyaboutit.Intruth,Iloveeverythingabouther.Ilovethecurlyblonde
hairthatwouldlookmessyonanotherwomanbutsuitshertoperfection.Iloveherbigbrowneyesand
howshe’ssohonestthatwhenshetriestolieaboutanything,shecries.Ilovethatshespendsasmuch
timeatthegymasIdoandhasthebicepstoproveit.Iadorethepiercingsthatlineherleftearandthe
butterflytattoosthatcoversscarswenevertalkaboutonherinnerwrists.

Shelovesbutterflies.They’realloverherhouseandtheflowershopthatsheownsintown.They’re

sortofhertrademark,alongwiththebrightcolorsthatdecorateherandhersurroundings.Tonightshe’s
wearingafrillyorangetopwithwhiteshort-shorts.NotthatInoticedherawesomelegsandassonthe
wayinoranything…

TheotherthingIabsolutelyloveaboutheristhewayshelooksatmeasifI’mtheguyshe’dwantif

shecouldhaveherpickofallthemenintheworld.IfIwerelookingforaforeverkindofwoman,Lauren
wouldbeatthetopofmylistofcandidates.Infact,she’dbetheonlycandidate.ButthelastthingIwant,
afteryearsofendlessresponsibility,isaseriousrelationshiporanythingthatwouldpermanentlytiemeto
Marfa.Sheownsahomeandabusinesshere.GettinginvolvedwithLaurenonamoreseriouslevelthan
asbestfriendswoulddefinitelytiemetoMarfa,andthat’smybiggesthesitationwhereshe’sconcerned.

“Sometimes,Ithinkit’sme,”shesayssoftly.“Likethere’ssomethingwrongwithme.”
ThisstunsmeevenmorethanhearingWaynefuckingPetersonwasthefirstguytomakehercome.

“Whatdoyoumean?”

ShelookssodefeatedthatIwanttoreachacrossthetabletooffercomfort,butIcan’tseemtomove

myarmsoranythingelseforthatmatter.“Whenagirlstartstostringtogetherenoughdisastroussexual
encounters,shebeginstowonderifshe’stheproblem.”

“That’sridiculous.It’snotyou.You’rejustpickingthewrongguys.”
Shegivesmealookfilledwithskepticism.“Includingyou?”
I’mrivetedbythefirstmentioneitherofushasmadeofthatawfulnightwheneverythingthatcouldgo

wrongdid.“Thatwasanoffnight,anditwasmoremyfaultthanyours.”

Shesweepsawaymycommentwithherhand.“You’rejustsayingthatbecauseyou’reagoodfriend,

andyou’retryingtomakemefeelbetter.”

“ThatisnotwhyIsaidit,anditwasmyfault.”
“Whydoyouthinkthat?”sheasks,lookingadorablyperplexed.
I’vegiventhisalotofthoughtinthemonthsthathavepassedsincethatnight,andI’vecometosome

conclusions.“Firstofall,Iwasfreakedoutaboutruiningourfriendship,whichmessedwithmyhead.
Bothofthem,actually.Second,wediditallwrong.”

“There’sawrongway?”sheasks,herbrowsrisinginamazement.
“Hellyes,there’sawrongway.Werushedoverthepreliminaries.Ididn’ttakemytime.Igotnaked

withyoufiveminutesafterthefirsttimeIkissedyou.That’snothowitshouldbedonewhentwopeople
haveasmuchhistorybetweenthemaswedo.”

ThetruthofthematterisI’dwantedhernakedandhorizontalinabedwithmeforsolongthatwhen

opportunityknockedthefirsttime,Ipouncedlikeahormonalteenageboyratherthantheexperiencedman
thatIam.I’vesorelyregrettedthateversince—evenmoresonowthatIknowshe’sbeenblamingherself.
“Itshouldn’thavehappenedthatway.Youdeservesomuchbetterthanwhatyougotfromme.Ithinkyou
are…”

“What?”sheasksagaininthatsweet,sexytone.“WhatamI?”
“You’reeverything,”Iwhispergruffly.
“Exceptcompatiblewithyouinbed,”sheremindsmewiththekindofbluntnessIexpectfromher.We

talkabouteverything.SeeExhibitAabove—orgasms.

Iclearmythroatanddecidetotakeadivethat’sbeensixlong,torturousmonthsinthemaking,since

theill-fatednightwithherputaserioushitonmysexualGPA.“Ireallythinkweoughttotryagain.”I
actuallyhadn’thadthatthoughtuntilIheardthatshethinksshe’stheproblem.Iabsolutelycan’thaveher
thinkingthatwhenit’snottrue.BeforeIpickupstakesandheadoutofthisgodforsakentown,Ineedto
proveotherwisetoher,ifit’sthelastthingIdo.

Beforethewordsareevenallthewayoutofmymouth,herheadisshaking—andnotinagoodway.

“Ican’tbeartobehumiliatedlikethatagain.”

“Iliketothinkwewereequallyhumiliated,andattheendoftheday,it’sjustmeandyouhere,

Lauren.”

“Andmaybewe’rebetterasbestfriends.”
“I’mnotreadytoacceptthatafteronefailedattempt.”
“Garrett…”Thepleadingedgetohervoicemakesmefeellikeanassforforcinghertotalkaboutit.

“Weweresoluckytogetpastthatandtoputthisbackontrack.”Shegesturestotheplateofwingsandthe
bottlesofbeeronthetable.

Forgettingwhereweareandthathalfthetownisprobablywatching,Ireachacrossthetableforher

hand.Ineedtotouchher.Forthelongesttime,she’sbeenthebrightestlightinmylife.Why?Ican’tsay
exactly.Exceptfortheonenightwetriedtohavemore,we’veonlyeverbeenthebestoffriends.AllI
knowisthatIcan’tleaveherwithanythoughtsofherowninadequacy—especiallyifI’vecontributedto
theminanyway.“Givemeoneweektoproveit’snotyou.That’sallI’masking.”

“Butwhatifwereallyarebetteroffasfriendsthan…”
“Lovers?”

Shecringesandwrinkleshercutelittlenose.“That’ssuchagrossword.”
Laughing,Isay,“Whatwouldyoucallit?”
“Friendswithbenefits?”
“Icanlivewiththatdescription.Iwantanotherchance,Lauren.Letmeshowyouwhatcanhappen

whenwesavorratherthandevour.”

Shedrawsinashaky-soundingdeepbreath,andherfaceflusheswitharosyglowthathasmycock

stirring.

“Whatdoyousay?”
Shetakesadrinkfromherbeerbottle.Eventhatseemsinsanelysexyinlightofourconversation.

“Howwoulditwork,thisso-calledweekwhereyouproveit’snotme?”Ishervoicehuskierthanusual,
oristhatwishfulthinkingonmypart?

I’vethoughtaboutwhatwentwrongthatnightfromeverypossibleangle,andI’verealizedthata

longer,moredrawn-outseductioniswhatweshould’vedonethen—andit’swhatwe’lldothistime,if
shegivesmeanotherchance.“You’dhavetotrustmewiththedetails.Iwouldn’twantyoutoworryabout
anything.Leaveitalltome.”

“Underonecondition.”
“Nameit.”
“Nomatterwhathappens,youpromisemewe’llstillhavethisafter.”Again,shegesturestothewings

andbeers,actingasametaphorforourfriendship.

“Youhavemyword.DoIhaveyours?”Iwanthertoknowthefriendshipisasimportanttomeasitis

toher.“Nomatterwhathappens,westillhavethis?”

“Absolutely.”
“Isthatayes,then?”
Shenods.“I’mwillingtotryagainifyou’resosureitwon’tbeanotherdisaster.”
I’mnotsureofanythingotherthanIwantanotherchance.“Tomorrownight,I’llpickyouupatseven.I

wantyoutowearthesexiestdressyouownwithnothingunderit.Oh,andheels.Iwantsomesky-high
heels,too.Canyoudothat?”

Hermouthdropsopeninshock.Ican’twaittoseethoseplumplipswrappedaroundmycock.We

didn’tgettothatthefirsttimearound.We’lldefinitelygettherenexttime.“Lauren?”

“Um,yes,okay.Icandothat.”
Isignalforourcheck,throwafiftyonitandstandtoleave.Wecameseparately,butnexttime,we’ll

cometogether.Ialmostlaughatmyownjoke.Bending,Ibrushakissoverherrosycheek.“Seeyou
tomorrow.”

AfterIleaveher,Iwonderhowlongshesattherewithhermouthhangingopenovermyaudacious

instructions.Ican’twaitfortomorrownight.

Ihaveaconfessiontomake.IfuckinghateMarfa.Sure,itwasanokayplacetogrowup,butitwasnever
myplantobestuckinthemiddleofbuttfucknowhereWestTexasasanadult.We’rethreehourstoEl
Pasotothewest,five,sixandeighthoursrespectivelytoSanAntonio,AustinandHoustontotheeast,and
sevenandahalfhourstoDallastothenorth.Inshort,Marfaisnexttonothingbutwide-opendesert.

IwenttocollegeatTexasA&M,eighthoursfromMarfainCollegeStation,betweenAustinand

Houston,andspentmanyawildweekendinbothcities.Attheendofmysenioryear,Iwasentertaining
joboffersinseveralbigTexascitieswhentheunthinkablehappened.Mydaddroppeddeadatwork.

Hewassoproudofmeforfollowinghimintoaccountingandboastedofmythree-point-nineGPAto

allhiscolleagues.WewereconsultingdailyaboutthejoboffersI’dreceivedandhadnarroweditdown

toanoilcompanyandaFortune500corporationwithofficesallovertheworld.Theplanwastostart
“local,”meaninganywhereinTexas,andendupsomewhereawesome.Dadwaspushingmeinthe
corporatedirectionoverthealways-volatileoilindustry.

Untilonenighthedidn’tcomehomefromworkontime,andmymomwentlookingforhim.Shefound

himhunchedoverhisdesk,hisbodyalreadycoldandrigid.Anautopsydeterminedhe’dbeendeadabout
threehoursbythetimeshefoundhim.

Justthatquickly,myplanschanged,andallmychoicesweretakenfrommealongwiththefatherI

worshipped.Ididwhatwasexpected—anddesperatelyneeded—bycominghometorunmyfather’s
localaccountingbusiness,thesamebusinessthatsupportedmymomandthethreeyoungersiblingswho
wereheadingtocollegeinthenextfewyears.

ThisisoneofmanyreasonsIresentmyolderbrother,whohasbeenmorethanhappytoleaveallthe

responsibilityforourfamilytogoodoldGarrettwhileheandhiswife,Debbie,havethetimeoftheir
livesinCalifornia,orsoitseemstomefromthepicturestheypostconstantlyonFacebook.Everyoneof
thosepicturesmademewanttoriphisfaceoffforthefirstcoupleofyearsaftermydaddied,untilI
decidedtoletgoofthebitternessthatwaseatingmeupinside.Itwasn’tTommy’sfaultthatourfather
died,orthatIwasthemostqualifiedtotakeoverthefamilybusiness.Atleast,that’swhatItellmyselfso
Iwon’tactuallymurderhimononeofhisinfrequentvisits.

Sixyearslater,I’vegottenanMBAthroughanonlineprogramandtripledtheannualgrossrevenueof

myfather’ssmall-townpractice.Iactaschieffinancialofficerand/orcontrollerformostofthemajor
businessesintown.Eversincemyfatherdied,I’vehadthesameplan—getmyyoungersiblingsthrough
college,setmymomupforretirement,sellthebusinesstosomeenterprisingCPAlookingtostepintoa
successfulpractice,andthenfinallygoseetotheplansthatwereputonholdforsixlongyears.

Lastyear,mystaffofsevenandIclearedamilliondollarsinnetrevenue.Forthenon-accountantsout

there,that’safterexpenses.ThatcoolmillionmeansIhavethetuitionIneedformysistersandcansetmy
momuproyally.ThisweekIgotaphonecallfromaheadhunterI’vebeenworkingwithforayearasItest
thewaterstoseewhatelsemightbeoutthereformenowthatI’vefulfilledmyobligationstomyfamily.
He’ssetupaninterviewwithahugetechcompanyinAustinforthisweekend,andhesaidtheywantme
bad.Itsuredoesfeelgoodtobewanted.

I’dbeonmywayoutofMarfaforeverifitwasn’tforonesmall,nigglingdetailnamedLauren

Davies,whoalsohappenstoownoneofthefewbusinessesinMarfathatdoesn’tusetheservicesof
GarrettMcKinley,CPA.

I’vehadmytheoriesastowhy,theoriesthatwereconfirmedonthatoneill-fatednightwespentinher

bedinwhicheverythingthatcouldgowrongdid.Sheconfessedthatthechemistrythat’salwayssimmered
onalowboilbetweenusstoppedherfromhiringmetohandleheraccounting.Turnsout,thatwas
probablyasavvymoveonherpart,becausethefirsttimewedecidedtotestthatchemistryinthelab,so
tospeak,wecreatedadisasterofepicproportions.Ishudderthinkingaboutmyfirst-evercaseof
performanceanxietythatledtoonefumblingattemptafteranothertosuccessfullyclosethedeal.

Ugh.Ican’tbeartorememberit.Except…OneshiningmemorystandsoutinaseaofthingsI’drather

forget—thevisualofLauren’sspectacularnakedbodythatissosearedintomybrainit’llneverbe
forgotten.

AsIsitintheofficeinthemuchlargerbuildingImovedthebusinesstothreeyearsafterdaddied,

visionsofnakedLaurendancelikesugarplumsthroughmyaddledbrain,especiallyafterlastnight’s
conversationaboutorgasms.Thinkingaboutgivingheranorgasmhasmehardasconcreteinmyoffice,in
themiddleofthefreakingworkday.

IfImadeaspreadsheetofLauren’sattributes,itwouldlooksomethinglikethis:

1. Smooth,lightlytannedskin.

2. Big,fullbreastswithlightbrownnipplesmadeforsucking.
3. Aflat,tonedbelly.
4. Endless,sexylegs.
5. Acompletelybarepussy(orasIliketothinkofit—thefrostingonadeliciouspieceofcake).
6. Aperfectassthatmakesmewanttograbonanddodirty,dirtythings.
7. Gorgeousbrowneyes.
8. CurlyblondehairthatIwanttowraparoundmyhandswhenIfuckherfrombehind.
9. Amouthmadeforsin,andIhaveafewspecificsinsinmindwhenitcomestoherluscious

mouth.

Total=Perfection.
IlickmylipsasIcatalogeveryspectaculardetailofherstunningbody.Ofcourse,I’vealwaysknown

she’shotasfuck.Wegrewuptogether.I’veseenherineverythingfromabikinitoapromgowntothe
shortestofskirtsandthehighestofheels.Butseeingherinabsolutelynothingwasarevelation.Literally.
Andfiguratively.I’mneversureoftheproperuseofthosetwowords,soletmesumitup—Lauren
Daviesisaliteralandfigurativesmoking-hotbabe.

TonightI’mgoingtoprovetoherthatherchallengeswithguyshavenothingatalltodowithherand

everythingtodowiththem.OnceIgetherfeelingbetteraboutherself,I’msoouttahere.

A

CHAPTERTWO

tthispoint,youmightbewonderingwhataguywhodoesn’twanttoputdownrootsinthesmall
townwherehefeelsstuckdoesaboutsexwhenhe’snotcreatingasexualdisasterwithhisbest

friend.Oneword:tourists.TheycomefromallovertoseeMarfa’sfamouslights,theartinstallationsand
tosoakupthefunkyartsyvibeofourdeserttown.They’reeasytofindinthebarsandrestaurantsaround
town,anditdoesn’ttakemuchefforttoconvinceoneofthemtoinvitemetoherhotelroomforsome
mindlessfun.

SinceIreturnedhomeaftercollege,I’ve“honedmycraft,”ifyouwill,withtourists.Thebeautyofthe

transientencounteristhattheydon’tknowanyofmypeople,sotheydon’ttalkandtheydon’tspread
rumorsthatmightgetbacktothosewhomightbeappalledbymytouristtrade.Isendmyout-of-towners
awaywithsmilesontheirfacesandgoodmemoriesoftheirbriefvisittoMarfa.Idon’tgivethemmylast
nameorphonenumber,sothere’sneverachanceofarepeatperformance.Itmaysoundshallow,butit’s
workedtokeepmesanewhensomuchofmyexistenceisoutofmycontrol.

Aroundtown,Ihaveareputationforbeingsomewhatofamonk,focusedexclusivelyonrunningmy

thrivingbusinesswhilehelpingmymomandactinglikeasurrogatedadtomythreeyoungersiblings.I
likethatreputation.IlovethatmyfriendsthinkIdowithout.Itmakesmelaugh.Ilikethatnooneknows
aboutthetouriststhathavekeptmefromactuallylivinglikeamonkwhileIwaitandhopeforsomething
betterthanmylifeinMarfa.

Laurenandourtight-knitgroupoffriendshavebeenabrightspotinmylifesinceIcamehomeafter

college.It’sbeenacoupleofyearsnowsincethenightLauren’sargumentwithWayneturnedviolent.I’ll
neverforgetreceivingthecallfromHoneywiththenewsthatLaurenwasinthehospital,badlybeatenby
herhusband.IwantedtomurderWaynewithmyownhands,butbecausesomanypeopledependonme,I
resistedthaturgeandfocusedallmyattentiononLauren.Ivisitedherforhourseverydayfortheweek
shewashospitalized,andaftershewasreleased,Ispentfourteennightsonhersofasoshewouldn’thave
tobehomealoneatnight.

Herclosestgirlfriends,Honey,JulieandScarlett,volunteeredtostaywithher,butshewantedme.

ProbablybecausesheknewI’dbeatthelivingshitoutofWayneifhecameanywherenearher.Istillhope
togetthechancetoteachhimalessonaboutwhathappenstoguyswhotreatwomenthewayhedid
Lauren.

She’sbeenunderstandablyfragilesincethatincident.That’swhyI’veneverpushedherformorethan

theclosefriendshipwe’vealwaysshared.Instead,I’vebidedmytime,fuckedtourists,hungoutwithmy
friends,workedoutsevendaysaweekatthelocalgym,focusedongrowingmybusinessandtakingcare
ofmyfamily—alwayswiththeendgoalofgettingthefuckoutofheretheverysecondmyyoungestsister
graduatesfromhighschool.That’shappeninginthreeshortweeks,andI’mcountingdownthedays.I’ve
eventalkedtoaRealtoraboutputtingmyhouseonthemarketthedaymysister,Sierra,graduates.My
“baby”sisterplanstojoinourothersister,Lola,atUTinAustininthefall,andI’vegotboththeirtuitions
covered,alongwithgenerousmonthlyallowancesthatkeepthemintheirfavoritethings,includinglip
gloss,nailpolishandheels.

Sothat’sprettymuchbeenmylifeinanutshell—work,family,thegym,touristsandfriends.Nothing

overlyexcitingoroutoftheroutineuntilsixmonthsago,whenaregularbeer-and-wingsnightturnedinto
somethingfarfromordinarywithLauren.Foronething,sheworeafrillyfloralyellowdressthatshowed
offherconsiderablecleavage.Andforsomereason,hercurlyhairwasunusuallyorderlyandsheapplied
makeupthatdidcrazythingstoherbigeyes.

Butitwasn’tjustherappearancethatwasdifferentthatnight.Shewasalsoflirtatiouswithme,

lookingatmewithsomethingfarmorecomplicatedthanfriendshipandtouchingmeeverychanceshegot.
Itremindedmeoftheolddays,beforeshelosthermindandmarriedWaynefuckingPeterson.Andbythe
way,Iblamemyselfforthefactthatshemarriedhiminthefirstplace,butI’lltellyouaboutthatlater.

Anyway,Icouldtellfromtheminuteshewalkedintoourusualmeetingspotthatshewaslookingto

bustloosealittlethatnight.SoIindulgedher.Iletherdrinkalotmorethanshenormallydoes,intending
toseehersafelyhome.Weshotpoolanddancedandgenerallyhadafreakingblast.

Inhindsight,IcanseethatIwassofuckingrelievedtoseethesparklebackinhereyesthatIgot

caughtupinthemagicshespunaroundusthatnight.Ithought,finally…Afterallthistime,we’regoingto
getourchance.Foraguywhoprideshimselfonunderstandingwomen,God,didIgetitwrongthatnight.

IstillcringewhenIthinkabouttakingherhomeandkissingherthewayI’dwantedtoforsolong,

rightonherfrontporchwhereanyonemight’veseenus.Thatkiss…I’vethoughtaboutthatkisseveryday
forsixmonths.ItwasthebestkissI’veeverhadwithanyone,anditmademewantsomuchmore.
Withouttakingevensomuchasaminutetothinkaboutconsequences,Ihadherinsideandpressedagainst
thedoorasIcontinuedtodevourherlikeamanwho’dbeenstarvingforatasteofthisoneparticular
woman.

Wepulledatclothes,bothofusseemingequallydesperateforthefeelofskinonskin.Theentirething

wassurreal,asifitwashappeninginoneofmymanyLauren-relatedfantasiesinsteadoftranspiringin
reallife.SomehowIknewthatifItookevenhalfasecondtoaskherifshewassurethiswaswhatshe
wantedthatthebubblewouldburstandthemagicwouldbelost.SoIpressedon,evenasaniggling
feelingofconcernmademequestionwhetherwe’dberiskingafriendshipwebothrelieduponbyletting
thishappen.

Weendedupinherbedroom,stillkissingfuriouslywithyearsoflatentdesireburstingforth

explosively.Shetookmybreathaway,leavingmelight-headedfromthelackofoxygen.Breathingwould
meanbreakingthekiss,andtherewasnowayIwasgoingtodothat.Myhandswereeverywhere—inher
hair,onherbreasts,cuppinghersweetass.I’dneverwantedanyoneoranythingthewayIwantedherin
thatmoment.

Irecallbeingmesmerizedbyhersoftskin,gorgeousbreasts,lightbrownnipplesandthetotallybare

pussythatwasadelightfulsurpriseandmademedroolwithyearsofpent-uplustforher.Everythingwas
goinggreatuntilIstoppedkissingherlongenoughtoremovemypantsandunderwear.

Shetookonelookatmyhardcock,andthebubbleburst.
Iwasn’tsureifsherecoiledoutoffearorhorror,orwhathappened,butshepunchedoutofwhathad

beenabouttohappen,leavingmereelingasItriedtocatchup.

“Lauren,”Isaid,reachingforher.“What’swrong?”
Sheshookherhead.
Istretchedoutnexttoherandputmyarmaroundher,alarmedtodiscovershewastremblingviolently.

“DidIdosomethingtoscareyou,sweetheart?”Afterwhatshe’dbeenthrough,thatwouldkillme.

“N-no.I,um…I’msorry.Ididn’tmeantodothat.”Sheturnedtofacemeandstartedkissingmeagain,

asifnothinghadhappened.

“Lauren—”
“Please,Garrett.ThisiswhatIwant.Pleasedon’tstop.”
Itrytobeagoodguyandalwaysaimtodotherightthing,butI’monlyhuman.WhenawomanIcare

aboutasmuchasIdoLaurenbegsmetomakelovetoher,I’mgoingtogiveherwhatshewants,evenif
I’mnotonehundredpercentcertainit’stherightthingtodo.

SoIstartedalloveragainwithdesperatekisseswhileIcaressedherbreastsandteasedhernipples.

ThenIkissedherjawandrolledherearlobebetweenmyteeth,lovingthegaspofsurprisethatdrewfrom
her.Encouragedbyherreactions,Imoveddown,cuppingherleftbreastanddrawinghernippleintomy
mouth.

Shecriedoutfromthesensations,andIsuckedharder,wantingtoeraseanythingupsettingornegative

fromhermindandreplaceitwithpurepleasure.Igaveherotherbreastthesametreatmentandthen
kissedherabdomenuntilshewasfairlywrigglingunderme,allbutbeggingformore.

WhenIsettledherlegsonmyshoulders,Inoticedshewasstilltremblingviolently.Ialmoststopped

toaskagainifthiswaswhatshewanted,butshe’dtoldmewhatshewanted,andIwasdeterminedtogive
ittoher.Droppingmyhead,Itracedherouterlipswithmytonguebeforedelvinginsidetolapupher
sweetness.Goddamn,shewaslikeadrug.OnetasteandIwasaddicted.

Iwentalittlecrazyinmyeffortstomakehercome,lickingandsuckinganddrivingmyfingersinto

hertight,wetchannel,butIcouldn’tseemtogetherthere,whichshould’vebeenthefirstcluethatthis
wasgoingsouthfast.Ionlystoppedlongenoughtorollonacondomandbegantopressintoher,slowly
andcarefully,awarethatithadbeenawhilesinceshe’ddonethis.

Forafewminutes,anyway,everythingseemedokay,butthenIsensedhercheckingoutagain,like

she’ddoneearlier.

Istopped,gazingdownather,lookingforasignofhowIshouldproceed.ThatwaswhenIsawtears

rollingintoherhair.Myerectionshriveledupanddiedatthesightofthosetears.“Lauren…”

“I’msosorry,”shesaidonasob.“Idon’tknowwhat’swrongwithme.”
Iwithdrew,stretchedoutnexttoherandtriedtooffercomfortIwasn’tsureshewanted.“Thereis

nothingwrongwithyou.”Ibegantowonderifmaybetherewassomethingwrongwithme.Morethanone
ofmytouristshavetoldmeI’ma“sexgod.”Beforethatill-fatednight,Ihadneverbeenwithawoman
whodidn’tcome—multipletimes—withme.

HowcouldIfailsospectacularlywiththeonlywomanwhoeverreallymattered?Thatquestionstill

hauntsmetothisday.

“Tonightwasn’tournight,”Itoldheratthetime.“Doesn’tmeananything.”
Ourfriendshadbeenwaitinghopefullyforalongtimetohearwewereofficiallytogether.Afterthat

night,theannouncementnevercame.Itwaslikewetookahundredstepsbackward,whichmadeitthat
mucheasiertorampupmyplanstomoveonfromMarfa.Thethoughtofmaybe,possibly,somedaywith
herhadbeenthesinglethreadkeepingmetiedtomyhometown,butthatthreadwasseveredthatnight.It
wasn’tgoingtohappenwithher,andIwasstrangelyfinewiththat,butonlybecauseitreducedthe
complications,notbecauseIdidn’tstillwanther.Ofcourse,Idid.Evenmoresoafterhavingseenher
gorgeousnakedbody.

I’vespentmanyanhourthinkingaboutthethingswedidthatnight.Rememberingherlightbrown

nipples,herbarepussy,thetasteofherdesireandthetightsqueezeofherinternalmusclesaroundmy

cockhasledtomanyasessionintheshowertofindsomerelieffromtheimagesthatplagueme.

Butwhat’sbeenreallystrangeisthatIhaven’tgonenearanyoftheusualtouristhotspotssincethat

nightwithLauren.I’vebeenlivinguptomyreputationasamonk,havinglostthedesiretobewithother
womenafterbeingwithher—eveniftheencounterwasamess.

Forweeksafterward,thepossibilitythatImight’vedonesomethingtosetherbackateatme.Ittook

meamonthorsotorealizethatneitherofusdidanythingwrongthatnight.Shesimplywasn’treadytogo
“there”withme.OnceImadepeacewiththat,Irelaxedaboutitsomewhatbutnotcompletely.

Ifeltathousandtimesbetterwhenshetextedmetwoweekslatertoresumeourbeer-and-wingsdate,

whichtookplacethefollowingMondaywithnaryareferencetothesexgonebad.Sixlongmonthshave
passedwithoutustalkingaboutit.Andinthosemonths,I’vewatchedherslowlybutsurelycomebackto
theLaurenshewasbeforeWayneattackedher—funny,gutsy,audacious,flirtyandsexyasallfuck.

SometimesIthoughtImightgooutofmymindwaitingforhertogetbacktonormalsoIcouldfeel

betteraboutleavingtown.I’vealwaysknownthatshedependsonme.Witheverythingfallingintoplace
withmycompanyandmyfamily,Ishouldfeelcompletelyguilt-freeaboutmovingforwardwithmyplans.
ButafterhearingthatLaurenthinkssheistheproblemwhenitcomestosex,I’mriddledwithguiltabout
leavingbeforeIfixthatmisconception.

Nowthatshe’sgivenmethisweektoshowherthatthere’sabsolutelynothingwrongwithher,I’m

determinedtogetitthreethousandpercentright.Ileaveworkearlytomakepreparationstoensurea
successfulevening.That’swhatIdidwrongthelasttime.Ididn’tprepareproperlyorseetothedetails.
Normally,I’mallforspontaneity.ButwhatworkswithmytouristsisnotwhatLaurenneeds,especially
afterwhatWayneputherthrough.She’sprobablyexpectingmetofeedandravishher,andthoughthat’s
exactlywhatIwanttodo,there’llbenoravishingtonight.Well,maybealittleravishing,butthatisn’tthe
overallgoalofthisevening.

No,theonlythingthatwillgetlaidtonightisgroundwork.We’regoingtobuilduptothemainevent,

andbythetimeIgetherthereattheendoftheweek,Iwanthersodesperateandsoneedythatnothing—
andIdomeannothing—willgetinthewayofthebestsexshe’severhad.I’vewaitedthislongtomove
onwithmylife.DevotingthisweektoLaurenwon’thurtanything,especiallyifitmeansgivingherthe
peaceshesorichlydeservesattheend.

Ifinishtheordersthathavecomeintomyflowershop,Bloomsbury,bytwoo’clockandleavethestorein
thereliablehandsofMegan,thehighschoolgirlwhohasworkedformefortwoyearsnow.Afewdoors
downthestreet,IpopintomyfriendHoney’sphotographystudio.

“Berightout,”shecallsafterthebellsonthedoorannouncemyarrival.
“It’sjustme.”
“Ohgood!Comeonback.”
Iwalkthroughthewide-openspacethatHoneyusestoshootherDesertBabiesportraits.Families

comefromalloverTexasforherdistinctivephotosthatfeaturebabiesinthedesertenvironmentthat
surroundsMarfa.Intheoffice,IfindHoneyseatedatherdesk,feetupandkeyboardonherlap.“Thank
goodnessit’sjustyou.I’msocomfortable,andthat’sararethingthesedays.”

Honey’spregnantbellyseemstogetbiggereveryday.“Howismynephewdoing?”Idropintooneof

hervisitorchairs.

Shelaysherhandoverthebabybump.“Ithinkhe’splayingrugbytoday.”
“Ouch.”
“Yousaidit.Thefeettotheribsaremyfavorite.”
“Won’tbelongnow,Mama.”
“Ican’twait.Blakeissoexcited.Hetalkstohimeverynightandtellshimallthethingshe’sgoingto

teachhim.”

“It’sgreattoseehimsohappy.”Duringoursenioryearofhighschool,Blakewasdevastatedbythe

lossofhisgirlfriend,Jordan,inacarthathewasdrivingwhenatruckbroadsidedit.He’sneverbeenthe
same,andonlyafterhefellinlovewithHoneylastyeardidheseemtorecoversomewhat.“Bothofyou
deserveeverythingyou’vegotnow.”

Honeygivesmeanoddlook.“What’sthematter?”
“Whywouldyouaskmewhat’swrongwhenI’msayingyouandBlakedeservetobehappy?”
“BecauseIknowyou,andasmuchasIappreciatethat,Icantellwhenyou’reupsetaboutsomething.”
That’sthethingaboutmeetingyourbestfriendsinkindergarten.Nooneknowsyouliketheydo.“I’m

notupset…I’manxious.”

“About?”
“IhaveadatewithGarretttonight.Arealdate,nottheusualbeerandwings.”
Honeyletsoutagiddysquealandclapsherhands.“It’saboutfreakingtime!”Sheputsthekeyboard

onherdeskanddropsherfeettothefloorsoshecanleaninforcloserscrutiny.“Whatbroughtthison?
Weallassumedyouguysdecidedtojuststayfriends.”

“Wedid.Wehad.We…Well,it’scomplicated.”
“Howso?”
Ibitemylipwhiletryingtodecidehowmuchtotellmybestfriend,whoisalsoGarrett’sgoodfriend.

“Wesortofhadsexsixmonthsago.”

Honeystaresatme,eyesagog.“Howcanyousortofhavesex?”
“Wedidit,butitwasweirdandawkwardandwell…notgood.”
“Ohhhh.”Honeytapsherbottomlip.“Thisisextremelysurprisinginlightofhis…well…”
“Reputation?”
Nodding,Honeysays,“Supposedly,he’ssomewhatofa…um…”
“Godinbed?”Girlsweknewgrowingupusedtowaxpoeticabouthisskillsevenwhenwewere

stillinhighschool.Garrettthinkswedon’tknowthis,butHoneyandIarewellawarethatmorethanone
touristhascometotownforarollinthesackwiththeguyknownastheSexGod.

“Yes!So,whatthehellwentsowrong?”
“Ihavenoidea.I’vegoneoveritandoveritinmymindamilliontimes,butitnevermakessense.I

adorehim,andviceversa.We’vebeenhotforeachotherforages.Itshould’vebeenoffthecharts.
Instead,itbarelymadethechart,anditbroughtbackalotofcrapfromwhenIwaswithWayneandhe
wouldtellmeIsuckinbed.”

“Wayneisanasshole,andyoudonotsuckinbed.”
“Howdoyouknowthat?”Iaskwithalaugh.
“Becauseyou’regorgeousandsexyandanymanwouldbeluckytohaveyouinhisbed.”
ThefearthatWayneisrightaboutmehasbeenkeepingmeawakeatnightsincethedisasterwith

Garrett.ThoughI’mtouchedbyHoney’sunwaveringloveforme,Igowithsarcasmtohidemyemotional
response.“Andyou’renotevenslightlyimpartial.”

“Notatall.It’sawell-knownfactthatmenwhosuckinbedfrequentlymaketheirpartnersfeel

responsiblefortheirinadequacies.Clearly,Waynepassedoffhisownfailingsontoyou,andyoucan’tlet

himgetawaywiththat.”

“Wheredidyouhearthiswell-knownfact?”
“Cosmo.Whereelse?”
Snortingwithlaughter,Isay,“Ofcourse.Whereelse,indeed.”Irunmyhandsovertheskirtofmy

dressasanotherthoughtoccurstome.“ButwhatifWaynewasrightandIdosuckinbed?Whatifitwas
myfaultthatitwentsobadlywithGarrett?”

“Lauren!Stopthis!Itwasn’tyou.Itwasanoffnight.Ican’tstandtoseeyoudoingthistoyourself.If

youbelievethatcrap,thenWaynewins,andhecan’teverwin.Iwon’tallowit.”

Honey’sfiercedefensegoesalongwaytowardmakingmefeelbetter,butIwon’ttrulybelieveit

wasn’tmeuntilGarrettandIsuccessfullyclosethedeal.

“WhatIwanttoknowiswhyyoudidn’ttellmeaboutthisbeforenow.”
“Becauseitwassoembarrassing.Ittooksixmonthsforustoeventalkaboutthatnight.”
“Atleastyou’vemanagedtostayfriends.Thankgoodnessforthat.”
“Yes,thankgoodness.”Afalling-outbetweenGarrettandmewouldbeanightmare,notjustforusbut

forourclosecircleoffriends,too.

“Sowhyareyousotightlywoundtodayifthishappenedsixmonthsago?”
“Lastnight,whenwefinallytalkedaboutit,Garrettsaidhewantsado-over.Hethinkswewentabout

itallwronglasttime.”

“Wow.Howdoyoufeelaboutthat?”
“I’mafraidit’llbemoreofthesame,andwe’llactuallyruinaratherspectacularfriendshipthistime.”
“Hmmm.”Honeygavethatsomethought.
“Whatdoesthatmean?Hmmm?”
“Allofus—me,Blake,Matt,Julie,Scarlett—thinkyoutwowouldbeagreatcouple.”
“Whydoyousaythat?”
“Foronething,you’realreadyclosefriends.Foranother,you’reattractedtohim,andviceversa.

Anyonewithtwoworkingeyescanseethat.Wheneverwe’realltogether,youalwaysendupsittingnext
tohim.Youfinisheachother’ssentencesandlaughatallthesamethings.Heholdsdoorsforyouand
dotesonyou.Youguysalreadyactlikeacouple.”

“Wedo?”I’mstunnedbyHoney’sobservations.“I’venevernoticedwedoanyofthatstuff.It’sjust

meandGarrettbeingmeandGarrett.”

“Exactly—andyoutwoarealreadyacoupleinmanyofthemostimportantways.”
“Exceptthemostimportantway.”Ican’tbeartothinkaboutourfumblingattemptatsex.“I’mso

nervousaboutithappeningagain.I’dbelostwithouthimasafriend.”

“Forgetaboutthatnight.Tonightisafreshstart.Wipetheslatecleanandpretendlikethefirsttime

neverhappened.Itwasonenightoutofawholelifetime.Badsexhappens.”

“HasiteverhappenedtoyouwithBlake?”
“Umm,well,Blakeisaveryuniqueexceptiontoallrules.”
“Iknow.Iremember.WhatdoesitsaythatIhadbettersexwithGarrett’sfriendyearsagothanIhad

withhim?”

“Itsaysyou’reremindingmethatyouoncehadsexwithmyhusband,whichwe’veagreedtonever

talkabout.”

Ilaughatthefaceshemakesatme.“Itwasmorethanonce.”
“Andyoudidn’thaveanyproblemswithhim,didyou?”
“No,butthatwasmoreabouthimthanme.Asyouwellknow,he’srathergoodatit.”
“SoisGarrettbyallaccounts.Hasitoccurredtoyouthatmaybeit’smorecomplicatedwithhim

becauseyouhavegenuinefeelingsforhim,whichyoudidn’thaveforBlake?Becauseifyoudid,I’dhave
tokillyou.”

Laughing,Isay,“Noneedformurder.IloveBlaketopieces,asyouwellknow,butitwasjustsex

withhim.”

“It’sverypossiblethatyouandGarretthaven’thityourstrideyet,andyouwill.Howcanyounot?

You’reyou—gorgeousandsexy—andhe’ssmokinghot,intense,hasallthosemusclesandisaknownsex
god.I’dbemoreafraidofwhat’sgoingtohappenwhenyougetitrightthanIwouldbeofgettingitwrong
again.You’reapttoburndownthehousetogether.”

“Ifthathappens,Ihopeweendupathisplaceratherthanmine.IbethehasbetterinsurancethanI

do.”

Honeylaughs.“Relaxandenjoythecompanyofoneofyourfavoritepeople.Thinkofitasjustanother

nightwithGarrett.Ifyoubuildituptobeahugebigdealinyourmind,you’llsetyourselfupfor
disaster.”

“Toolateforthewarningaboutbuildingituptobeahugebigdeal.”
Honeyhaulsherselfupandoutofthedeskchair.It’salmostpainfultowatchhertrytomovewiththe

giantbabybellyweighingdownherpetiteframe.Shecomesaroundthedeskandreachesformyhands,
drawingmeupandintoahugthat’shamperedbythatbigoldbelly.

“ThisisGarrett.Helovesyou.He’ddoanythingforyou.Youhavenothingintheworldtoworry

about.”

“Exceptmakingthingsweirdwithoneofmybestfriends.”
Shedrawsbackfromme,butleavesherhandsonmyshoulders.“Yougotpasttheweirdnessonce

before.Youcandoitagain,ifitcomestothat.”

“Maybeitwouldbebetter…”
“Whatwouldbebetter?”
“Ifwejust…Ifwedidn’ttrytomakeitmorethanitalreadyis.”
“Isthatwhatyouwant?”
Igivethatquestioncarefulconsideration.I’mwellawareofGarrett’saffectionforme.Hisdevotion

aftertheawfulendofmymarriagewasmorethanIcould’veaskedofanyfriend,andhissteadypresence
inmylifeissomethingIcountamongmygreatestblessings.ButdoIseeushavingmorethangreat
friendship?

“I’mnotsure,”IsayinanswertomyquestionandHoney’s.“ButI’dliketofindout,iffornoother

reasonthanI’dliketoputthis‘willweorwon’twe’questiontobedonceandforall—punintended.”

Shesmilesandstraightensmyhair.“Iwantyoutorelaxandputasideyourworriesandhaveagreat

timetonight,andthentomorrowcallmeandtellmeeverysingledetail.”

Iflashacoygrin.“Idon’tkissandtell.”
“Thistimeyoudo.RememberhowyoumademetellyoueverydetailofmyfirstnightwithBlake?”
“Iseemtorecallsomethingaboutthat.”
“Turnaboutisfairplay.”
“Pleasedon’tsayanythingaboutthistoBlake.Idon’tknowwhatGarretthastoldhim,andIwouldn’t

wantGarretttothinkI’mblabbingaboutourpersonalbusiness.”

“Nottoworry.Mylipsaresealed.”Honeyhugsmeagain,andthistimeIfeelastrongkickfromthe

babyagainstmyabdomen.

“Holycow!Thekid’sgotgame.”
“I’mslightlyafraidhe’sgoingtobeaholyterror.”
“Ican’twaittomeethim.”
“Meeither.Anydaynow.”
“You’dbettercallmethesecondyougointolabor,dayornight.”
“Iwill.Haveagreattimetonight,anddon’tforgettocallmeinthemorning,orafterlunch,or

whatevertimeyoutwocomeupforair.”

Atthethoughtofanall-nightsexfestwithGarrett,mynipplestightenandmysextingles.Apparently,

mythoughtsarestampedallovermyface,becauseHoneylosesitlaughing.“Allindicationspointtoward
thiseveninggoingmuchbetterthanyouthinkitwill.”

“Stopmakingfunofme,”ItossovermyshoulderasIleaveherofficetothesoundofherlaughter

followingme.Ican’thelpbutsmile.IdeserveherinfectiouslaughterafterthewiderangeofemotionsI
justdisplayedinthespanofthirtyminutes.

I’mahotmessoverthis“date”withGarrett,buthe’llneverknowthat.Havingtakentherestofthe

afternoonoff,Iheadhometogetready—orasreadyasI’lleverbetotakeanotherrideontheGarrett
train.

T

CHAPTERTHREE

helastitemonmyto-dolistbeforeIturnmyfocustotheeveningwithLaurenisameetingwith
BlakeDempsey.He’sbeenconsideringbuildingsomespechousesandaskedmetodoacash-flow

analysisbeforehedecideshisnextstep.

SinceBlakeisworkingoutsideoftownatthesiteoftheproposeddevelopment,Ioffertogotohim.I

nevermissachancetogetoutoftheoffice,sowhenmyclientsneedmetocometothem,I’malways
happytooblige.That’sonepartofmystrategytokeepfromgoingstir-crazy.

Today,I’mbehindthewheeloftheblackMercedes-BenzEClasssedanItreatedmyselftoafterour

banneryear.I’masgoodofagoodoldboyasthenextTexasguy,andIlovemypickup,buteveryso
often,adaycallsforluxury.AsIpresstheacceleratorclosertothefloor,Irevelintheroaroftheengine
andthesmoothnessoftheride.Ifuckinglovethiscar.

OnthewaytoBlake’sworksite,IreviewtheplansImadeforthenightwithLauren—lobster,her

favoritefoodever,flowninfromMaineatanungodlyprice,thebestchampagneIcouldgetintown,
flowersIboughtfromhershopaftersheleftforthedayandaplanthatwillbegintonightandconclude
withthebestsexofourliveslaterthisweek.

I’vealreadytoldmyselfthatnomatterhowhotshelooks—andshewilllookincredible,ofthatIhave

nodoubt—Iwillnottakehertobedtonight.No,tonightandeverynightwespendtogetherforthenext
fewdayswillbeaboutbuildingtheanticipationforthemainevent.Withsomuchatstake,there’snoroom
foranothercalamity.I’vegottogetitrightthistime.

SinceImadetheplanswithLaurenlastnight,Ihaven’thadmuchtimetothinkabouttheincredibly

enticingjobleadwithanAustin-basedtechcompanythattheheadhunterhasfoundforme.AsIdriveon
thelong,emptyroadsoutsideoftown,Iallowmymindtowanderalittleinthatdirection.Thejobis
exactlythesortofthingI’vebeenhopingforsinceIstartedlookingagain.Theheadhunterhascometome
withquiteafewthingsthatdidn’tinterestme.Thisoneinterestsmetremendously.

WhileIenjoybeingmyownboss,itwouldbenicetohavelessresponsibilityfortheoverall

business.Whatwoulditbelike,Iwonder,toputinadayattheofficeandthenforgetabouttheplaceuntil
thenextmorning?Icanbarelyrecallwhatthat’slike,becauseIhaven’thadthatkindofjobsinceI
workedatthelocalpizzaplaceinhighschool.

Itakegoodcareofmyclients.I’mavailabletothemtwenty-four-seven.Irarelytakeafulldayoff,

evenonweekends,whichIusetocatchuponthedetailsofmyownbusiness,whichgetsoverlooked
whileI’mbusyallweekhelpingotherstendtotheirbusinesses.

It’sanever-endingcycleofwork,workandmorework.That’snottosayIdon’tenjoyit,becauseI

do.EverydayI’mpresentedwithadifferentchallengeinanynumberofawiderangeofindustries—from
constructiontophotographytorestaurantstohotelstodrycleaningandartgalleries,amongothers.My
clientshelpkeepmylifeinteresting,andI’mgratefulforthetrusttheyplaceinme.

Butstill…Idreamabouttheopportunitiesthatgotaway.WherewouldIbetodayifmyfatherhadn’t

died?WouldIbetheCFOofamajorUScorporation,orwouldIhaveopenedmyownfirmatsome
point?WherewouldIlive?Austin?SanAntonio?Houston?OrwouldIhaveleftTexasbynowforNew
York,ChicagoormaybeLosAngeles?WouldIbemarriedwithkidsorstillsingle?

Thepush-pullofwhatmighthavebeenversuswhatiscontinuestobeavexingdebatethatIkeep

entirelytomyself.NooneinmylifeknowshowIreallyfeelabouthavingmyprofessionalchoicestaken
frommeduetothesuddendeathofmybelovedfather.Whatpointistheretotalkingaboutit?It’snotlike
there’sanythingIormyfamilyorfriendscandotochangeanything.Andbesides,I’dlooklikean
ungratefulassholeifIcomplainedaboutbeingforcedtotakeovermydad’ssuccessfulbusiness,which
becamemoresoonmywatch.

Poorme,right?
SinceIdon’twantpeopletothinkI’manungratefuldouchecanoe,Ikeepmymouthshutandsoldier

on,evenifthegnawingdiscontentiseverpresentinmydailylife.

IhangarightontoadirtroadthatleadsintothedevelopmentwhereBlakeisworkingonthethirdof

whatwillbethirtyhouseswhentheneighborhoodiscompleted.Mygradeschoolfriend’sbooming
companyisoneofmybiggerclients,andIcouldn’tbehappierforhishard-earnedsuccess.Fueledby
griefaftertheaccidentthattookJordan’slife,Blakepouredhisheartandsoulintogrowingthecompany
intothepowerhouseitistoday.

SincehemarriedHoney,Blakehasbeenbetteraboutturningoversomeoftheday-to-daymanagement

tohislongtimeforemen,includingourfriendMatt,buthestillmakesallthebigdecisions.

IparkinthefuturedrivewayoftheMcMansioncurrentlyunderconstruction.Bringingseveralfile

folderswithme,Imakemywayinside,whereBlakeandhisteamarehangingdrywallonthefirstfloor.I
feellikeafishoutofwaterinmyblackpants,lightbluedressshirtandFerragamoloafers.

WhenBlakeseesme,hehandsoffthenailguntooneofhisemployeesbeforecomingovertogreetme

withahandshake.“How’sitgoing?”

“Good,you?”
“Great.We’remakingexcellentprogressheretoday.”
“Progressisgood.”
“Youwantatour?”
“Sure.”
Blakewalksmethroughtheframedhouse,pointingoutroomsthatwouldsoonbeafamilyroom,

kitchen,formallivinganddiningrooms,anoffice,mastersuiteandfouradditionalbedroomsupstairs.
“There’llbefivebedroomsandsixbathroomsandamediaroominthebasement.”

AsIfollowBlakethroughthehouse,theoddestsensationcomesoverme.Thiswouldbeagreat

housetoraiseafamily.Whereintheever-lovingfuckdidthatcomefrom?Ishakeofftheweirdfeeling
andsayalltherightthingstomyfriendandclient,whoisunderstandablyproudoftheworkhiscompany
hasdonesofaronthisdevelopment.

“Isthisonesold?”
“Yep,thefirstfifteenarespokenfor.TheotherfifteenaretheonesI’mthinkingaboutbuildingonspec

inthehopethatthis’llbecomethenextbigneighborhood.”

“Withthetownbuildingaschoolouthere,you’vegotasurethingonyourhands.”Ihandhimthe

reportIputtogethertoevaluatetheprosandconsoftakingonthespechouses.

“Appreciateyoudrivingoutheretogetthistome.”
“Notaproblem.IfIwaitedforyoutocheckyouremail,we’dnevergetanythingdone.”
“Thisistrue,”Blakesayswithalaugh.Helaughsoftenthesedays,thankstohishappymarriage.

We’reallthankfultohavetheBlakeweusedtoknowbackwithusafteryearsofhellfollowingJordan’s
death.

“Moreprosthanconsinthereport,”Itellhim.
“I’lltakealookandgetbacktoyouwithquestions.Mybiggesthesitationistakingonmorewiththe

babydueanytimenow.”

“You’vegotgoodpeopleworkingforyou.Attherateyou’regrowing,you’reeithergoingtoneedto

hireafull-timebusinessmanagerortakeitonyourself.”

Hegroans.“Ihatethatshit.Iwanttobeonthejobsites,notstuckinanoffice.”
“Thenmaybeit’stimetorecruitforsomeexecutive-levelhelp.Themoreyoucandelegate,themore

youcangetdoneinaday.”We’vealreadyhadthisdiscussionseveraltimesinthelastyear.

“Iknow,Iknow.I’mthinkingmoreaboutitwiththebabycoming.Iwanttobeabletospendmore

timeathome,andtheonlywayIcandothatistobringinsomehelp.”

“Letmeknowwhenyou’rereadytopullthetrigger,andI’llhookyouupwithatoprecruitingfirm.”
“Goaheadandgetmetheinfoontherecruiters.We’llgofromthere.”
“Wow,thisisabigmoment.Ifeellikethereoughttobechampagneorfireworksorsomethingto

celebrate.”

“Veryfunny,”hesayswithagood-naturedgrin.“You’vewornmedown.”
“Thenmyworkhereisfinished.I’llgetsomeinfotogetherforyou,andI’llhelpyoufindtheright

person.”

“Iwashopingyou’dsaythat.Idon’tknowthefirstthingabouthiringabusinessmanager.”
“Igotchacovered.”
“IknowIsaythisallthetime,butIcouldn’tdothiswithoutyou,man.I’dhaverunthebusinessinto

thegroundwithoutyouradviceandsupport.”

“Noway,”Isaywithalaughasatwingeofguilthitsmeinthegut.Whatwillmyfriendthinkofmy

get-out-of-Marfaplans?ThoughIknowI’mgoodatmyjob,Ialsoknowthatnooneisirreplaceable.I’ll
findsomeonegreattotakeoverthelocalbusinessifIgetthejobinAustin.“Yougotthis.”

“No,Ireallydon’t.We’vegotthis.Youandme.”
Theguilthitsmelikeatsunamithistime.IfBlakeormyotherclientssuspectedthatIlongtobe

anywhereotherthanMarfa,Texas,itwouldcreatechaosinmycarefullycultivatedbusinesslife.SoI’ll
keepmyfeelingsonthetopictomyselfuntilI’mreadytounveiltheplanformydeparturethatwill
includeareplacementreadytotakeoverwhereIleaveoff.

“I’vegottoroll,”ItellBlake.“Talktoyoutomorrow.”
“Yes,youwill.”
Heseesmeoff,andIheadfortown,drivingevenfasteronthewaybackbecauseI’msoeagertosee

tothefinaldetailsformyeveningwithLauren.AsIdrive,ItrytoshakeoffthatcrazythoughtIhadearlier
aboutraisingafamilyinoneofBlake’sbignewhouses.MarfaisthelastplaceonearthI’dwanttoraise
afamily,ifIweregoingtohaveone.

Andafamilyisdefinitelynotinmyplans.

Twohourslater,IarriveattheVictorianhousethatLaurenhaslovinglyrestoredoverthelastfewyears.
Thehouseisaperfectreflectionofher—funky,eclectic,colorfulandclassy.Sheisallthosethingsandso

muchmore.Andwhenshecomestothedoorinasexyreddressandthesky-highheelsIrequested,I’m
struckdumbonceagainbyhowincrediblygorgeoussheis.Iremindmyselfoftheplanforthisevening,
becauseifIcoulddoanydamnedthingIwanted,I’dbackherintoherhouseandhaveherrighthereand
now.

Swallowingtheimpulsiveurgeandhopingmycockgetsthemessagetostandthefuckdown,Iaskif

she’sreadytogo.

“Letmegrabmypurse.”Sheturnstoretrieveabagthathasredcherriesonit,andIgetthebackview

ofthedressthatbarelycoversthelowercurveofherasscheeks,whichIknowarebareunderthere.

MycockthoroughlyapprovesoftheviewandpulsesagainsttheflyofthedarkjeansIchangedinto

afterwork.Thisplanofmineisgoingtobetorture,Irealize,asshereturnswiththepurseandInoticeher
faceisflushedthewayitgetswhenshe’sturnedon.Irecallthatdetailfromthenightofthedisaster.It’s
oneofseveralfactsaboutLaurenthatI’vefiledawayforfutureuse.Whenthetimeisright.Andthetime
isdefinitelynotrighttonight,orsoIcontinuetotellmyselfasIhelpherintotheMercedesandgetan
eyefuloflong,sexylegandtemptinginnerthighasshesettlesherselfintheseat.

“Getyourshittogether,”ImutterasIroundthebackofthecarandgetintothedriver’sseat.
“Where’rewegoing?”
“Myplace,ifthat’sokay.”
“Sure.”
Doesshesounddisappointed?Whatifshewantedtogooutsomewhereratherthanhaveanintimate

nightathomealone?Hopefully,oncesheseeswhat’sonthemenu,she’llbehappywiththeplansImade
forus.

This,righthere,iswhyIdon’tbotherwiththeritualsinvolvedwithdating.Inallwaysbutone,

womenareamysterytome.Ineverhavebeenverygoodatbeingabletotellwhatthey’rethinkingor
whattheywantorhowtheyreallyfeel.SoI’vefocusedontheoneareainwhichthereareveryfew
mysteries.Iknowhowtofuck,andI’mneverafraidtotakeawomantobed,becauseIhavelittledoubt
she’llleavehappy.

That’swhyI’msodeterminedtorightthisterriblewrongwithLauren.Howisitpossiblethattheonly

womanI’veevertrulycaredaboutwasdisappointedaftergoingtobedwithme?Thatsimplywon’tdo.
Nomatterwhathappensbetweenusinthelongterm,beforewe’refinished,she’llknowthetruthabout
whatI’mtrulycapableofwhenIgetnakedwithawoman.Mytype-Apersonalityrefusestosettlefor
anythinglessthancompletesuccess.

Wearriveatmyhouseashorttimelater,andIparktheBenznexttomytruckonthefarleftsideofthe

three-cargarage,shuttingthedoorbehindussomynosyneighborswon’tseeLaurendressedtothenines
gettingoutofmycarinhercome-fuck-meheels.Ihelpheroutofthecarandkeepaholdonherhands
longerthannecessarytoensureshe’ssteadyonthoseinsaneshoes.Ilovethefeelofhersoftskinandthe
waysheholdsontomeasifsheknowsI’llneverletherfall.

Iescortherinside,whereI’vealreadysetthescenewithmusicfromPandoraandcandlesthroughout

thehouse.WhenIlefttopickherup,Ididsohopingthehousewouldn’tburndowninthetenminutesI
wasgone.

“Thisisnice,”shesays.
“I’mgladyouthinkso.You’renotdisappointedthatwedidn’tgooutsomewhere,areyou?”
“Ofcoursenot.I’msostinkingnervousthatit’sprobablybetterifwedon’tgooutinpublic.”
Ihatetohearhersayshe’ssonervous.“Whythenerves?It’sjustmeandyou.”
“Andamountainofexpectationsstandingbetweenus.”
“Howaboutweignorethatmountainandfocusonhavinganicetimetonightwithzeroexpectations.

Canwedothat?”

“Wecantry.”

Iputmyarmsaroundherandbringherinclosetome,whileremindingmycockthathe’soffduty

tonight.Bastardhasamindofhisown,though,andtheminutehersweetbodypressesagainstmine,he
springstolife.“ThelastthingIwantisforthingstobeweirdbetweenus.”

Shelaysherhandsonmychestandgazesupatme.“Idon’twantthateither.”
I’dhavetobeastrongermanthanIamtoresisttheburningneedtokisshersweetlips.Andtheinstant

mylipsconnectwithhers,thehumofdesirethathassimmeredbetweenusforaslongasIcanremember
roarstolife.That’sthereasonwe’retogethertonight,whyIwantedtotryagainwithher.I’veneverfelt
foranotherwomanwhatIdoforLauren.WhenIkissherandholdher,thatfeelingmultiplies
exponentially.

Mindfulofmyagendaforthisevening,Iforcemyselftopullbackfromherrightwhenthekissis

gettinginteresting,leavinghersurprisedbymysuddenwithdrawal.Ikissheroncemore.Ittakeseverybit
ofwillpowerIcanmustertokeepthekisslightandundemanding.“WhatcanIgetyoutodrink?”

Shelooksupatmewiththosebigbrowneyesthatareevenmoreexpressivethanusualaftera

passionatekiss.Herswollenlipsarestilldamp,andIworkveryhardtostayfocusedontheplanrather
thanthedesirethatclawsatme.

Smilingatherbefuddlement,Itapherbottomlip.“Drink?”
“Um,winewouldbegood.Thanks.”
“Comingrightup.”Itakeherbythehandandtowheralongwithmetothekitchen,whereIsettleher

onabarstool.Knowingshepreferschardonnaywhenshedrinkswine,IboughtthatandtheBudweiserwe
bothlike,justincase.Ialsohavechampagneforlater.

AsIopenthebottleofwine,Icanfeelherwatchingme,andIwonderifshefeelsasundonebythat

kissasIdo.Thiseveningisofftoapromisingstartifthesexualtensioninthisroomisanyindication.
That’sexactlywhatIwanted—thetwoofussoonedgethatbythetimewefinallygetaroundtosealing
thedeal,theheatwillconsumeus.

ThinkingaboutspontaneouslycombustinginsideofLaurenmakesmetrembleeversoslightlyasI

pourherglassofwine.Fortunately,shedoesn’tnotice.Idelivertheglasstoherwithoutincidentandpour
oneformyself.“Areyouhungry?”

“Starving.Somethingsmellsreallygood.”
Ithadbettersmellgood.GettingfreshlobstersentovernightfromMainetomiddle-of-nowhereWest

Texashadcostmorethanathousanddollarsbutwouldbewortheverypennyifitmakesherhappy.

Withaflourish,Isay,“Rightthisway,madam.”
Shelookssomewhatperplexedasshegetsuptofollowmydirectionintothediningroom,whichis

setforus.IholdherchairandwaitforhertogetsettledbeforereturningtothekitchentogetthesaladsI
madeearlier.

AfterIputhersinfrontofher,shelooksupatme.“Didyoumakedinner?”
“Yep.”
“Ithoughtyoucouldn’tcook.”
“Ican’t.Notreally,butIhadalittlehelp.You’llsee.”
“Veryinteresting.”Sheeyesmewithall-newinterestassheeatsthesaladImademyself.“Ihadno

ideayouweresodomesticated.”

Isnortwithlaughter.“Don’tgettooexcited,darlin’.Choppinglettuceisabouttheextentofmyso-

calleddomestication.”

Shecontinuestolookatmecuriously,makingmewonderwhatshe’sthinking.Afteralongmomentof

silence,shesays,“Youwenttoalotoftroublefortonight.”

“Some.”
“Why?”
Istareacrossthetableather.Isitpossiblethatshedoesn’tknowhowmuchIcareabouther?How

there’snothingIwouldn’tdotomakeherhappy?Inthespanofafewseconds,everyminuteI’vespent
withherinthelastyearflashesthroughmymind—ourbeer-and-wingsnights,outingswithmutualfriends,
helpingherpainttheoutsideofhershopashadeofyellowsobright,ithurtsmyeyestolookatit,andthe
ill-fatednightwhenwetriedtotakeourfriendshiptothenextlevel.DoesshestillreallywonderhowI
feelabouther?“I…I’lltellyouwhyafterdinner.”

Rattledbytheemotionsherquestionhasarousedinme,Istandtoclearthesaladplatesandreturn

withourentrées,whichI’vetakenrightfromtheoven.Idebatedwhethertogetthelobstersintheshellor
justthemeat.Intheend,Iwentwiththemeat,figuringitwouldbetoomessyandcomplicatedtocrackthe
shells.IfollowedarecipeIfoundonlinetomakeangelhairwithalobstercreamsauce.Ijusthopeshe
likesit.

“Isthatlobster?”sheasksafterIputtheplateinfrontofher.
“Sureis.RightfromMaine.”
“YouhadlobstersentherefromMaine.”
“Uh-huh.”
“Garrett…”
“Don’tletitgetcold.”
“But—”
“We’lltalkaboutanythingyouwantlater.Eatyourdinner.”
Theflashoffireinhereyesindicatesshe’dliketoargue,butsheholdshercommentaryandtakesa

biteofhermeal.Thenshemoans.

Motherfucker.Hermoantravelsdirectlytomycock,whichstandsupforabetterlookatwhat’sgoing

on.Thehighsandlowsofthiseveningareconfusingthepoorguy.Firsthe’sneeded,thenhe’snot,and
nowhe’sbackbutuncertainofhisroleinthisperformance.

Supportingplayer,Itellhim.Great,nowshe’sgotmesendingsilentmessagestomycock,messages

heisclearlynotreceiving.WatchingherenjoythemealIpreparedforherdoesn’thelpthesituationinmy
lap.Ispenilewhiplashathing?Ifnot,itshouldbe,becauseI’vegotabadcaseofitgoingon.

“Thisissogood.Ican’tbelieveyougotlobsterfromMaine.”
“Nothingbutthebestforyou.”
Arosyglowinfuseshercheeks,andIgostupidinthehead—theoneonmyshoulders.I’dgive

anythingtoknowwhatshe’sthinking.Soonenough…Standdown.Sticktotheplan.Iwanttotellthe
plantogofuckitselfandtakeherbythehand,dragherintomybedroomandfuckheruntilwe’reboth
exhaustedandsated.

Idownhalfaglassofwineinonelongsipandtrytoeatmyowndinnerwhileit’sstillhot.
Thelandlinerings,andIbitebackastringofswearsbecausetheonlypersonwhoevercallsthat

numberismymom.Iwanttoignoreit,butIneverwould.“Excuseme.”Igetupandgointothekitchento
answerit.

“Garrett!Theupstairstoiletisoverflowing.Idon’tknowwhattodo.”
“Haveyoushutoffthewatertothetoilet?”
“HowdoIdothatagain?”
SummoningthereserveofpatienceIsavejustforherandsituationslikethis,Isay,“Underthetank,

there’savalve.Turnituntilthewaterstopsflowing.”

“Leftorright?”
“Right.”
“Okay,IthinkIgotit.Canyoucomelookatit?”
“Icancomeinthemorning.”
“Thewaterfloodedthefloor.”
IclosemyeyesandsilentlycounttofivesoIwon’tsaysomethingthatcan’tbeunsaid.“Getsome

towelsandcleanitup,Mom.”

“Whycan’tyoucome?”sheasksinthepetulanttoneI’vebecomeaccustomedtowhenI’munableto

dropeverythingwhenshecallsme.

“I’minthemiddleofsomething.”Ipinchthetopofmynosewhereapoorlytimedheadacheis

forming.“Where’sColby?”Iaskofmytwenty-two-year-oldbrotherwhomovedhomeafterfinishing
collegeinMaywhilehelooksforajob.Sixmonthslater,he’sstilllooking,andI’mrunningoutof
patiencewithhim,too.

“He’soutwithTonya.”
MybrotherandIaregoingtobehavingaconversationverysoonabouthimgettingajob—anyjob—

whilehefiguresouthiscareersituation.

“Ireallythinkweneedaplumber,Garrett.Thisisthethirdtimethishashappened.”
“I’llsendsomeoneovertolookatit.”
“You’regoingtopaysomeonewhenyoucoulddoityourself?”
“Yes,Mom,I’mgoingtopaysomeone.”
“Mustbenicetohaveallthatmoneytoburn.”
Thecommentinfuriatesme.“Ihavetogo.I’llgetsomeonethere.”
“Thankyou.”
“Night.”
AsIdisconnectthecall,Ihearhersay,“Garrett—”
Ihavenoideawhatthatwasgoingtobe,andIdon’twanttoknow.Withdrawingmycellfrommy

pocket,IplaceacalltoBlake.

“Hey,what’sup?”
“Ineedafavor.”
“Sure,whateveryouneed.”
“Doyouhaveaplumberyoucouldsendtomymom’s?I’mtiedupatthemomentandcan’tgetover

there.”

“Icandoitmyself.HoneyandIareintown.I’llstopby.”
“Youdon’thavetodothat.”
“Idon’tmind.”
Ileanagainsttheislandinthekitchen,feelingexhaustedandoverwhelmedallofasudden.“Thanks,

man.Ioweyouone.”

“Right,”Blakesays,laughing.“ConsideritadownpaymentonthetenthousandfavorsIoweyou.”
“Youpaymetodofavorsforyou.”
“Relax,G.Igotthis.Talktoyoutomorrow.”
“Thanks,Blake.”
“Anytime.”
Thecallfrommymotherstressesmeoutthewayitalwaysdoeswhenshecomesrunningtomefor

anylittlethingthatshecan’thandle,whichismostthings.Closingmyeyes,Itakeaminutetogetmyself
togetherandrecapturethemoodIwasbuildingwithLaurenbeforetheinterruption.

“Garrett?”
Iopenmyeyestofindherstandinginfrontofme,lookingatmewithconcern.
“Iseverythingallright?”

I

CHAPTERFOUR

forceasmileforher,notwantingtoputadamperonourevening.“Yeah,it’sallgood.”

Shestepsclosertome,placingherhandsonmybiceps.“Areyouokay?”

“Sure.”
“Don’tlietome.Icanseerightthroughit.”
Thedownsidetoattemptingtoromanceawomanyou’veknownformostofyourlifeistheinabilityto

getawaywiththeusualbullshitgamesthatmenandwomenplaywitheachother.It’sbothacomfortand
anaddedchallengetobeknownthewaysheknowsme.

“Igetfrustratedwithher,andthenIfeellikeanasshole.Shedidn’tasktobewidowedatforty-five.”
“Youdosomuchforherandyoursiblings.Idon’tknowhowshecouldbeanythingotherthangrateful

toyou.”

“She’sgrateful.”
Laurenraisesabrow.“But?”
“Iwishshedidn’trelyonmeforeverysinglefreakingthing.”Inalltheyearssincemyfatherdied,

I’veneversaidthatoutloudtoanyone.“See?ToldyouI’manasshole.”Itrytolightentheimpactofmy
revealingstatementwithhumor.

“You’rethefarthestthingfromanasshole.You’readevotedsonandbrother,andyourfatherwouldbe

incrediblyproudofhowwellyou’vetakencareofeveryonesincehedied,nottomentionthesuccess
you’vemadeofhisbusiness.”

Herpraisewarmstheplacesinsidemethathavegonecoldwithresentmentaftermymother’scall.

“Sorrytoderailoureveningwiththiscrap.”

“Youdidn’t.”Assheslidesherhandsupanddownmyarms,shestepsclosertome,tugginglightlyon

myforearmsuntiltheydroptomysides.“That’sbetter.”Shecurlsherhandaroundmyneckandbringsme
downforasweetkiss.“Nowwherewerewebeforethephonerang?”

“Ibelievewewereeating.”
“Ifinishedminewhileyouwereonthephone.ItwasthebestdinnerI’vehadsincethelasttimeIhad

lobster.”Shekissesmeagain.“Thankyouforarrangingsuchanawesometreat.”

“Noproblem.”
“Yes,itwas.”

“Itwasworthitifitmadeyouhappy.”Iwonder,asIlookdownather,ifshefeelsevenafractionof

whatIdowhenwe’reclosetoeachotherthisway.Iwonderifsheeverquestionshowithastakenusso
longtogetwherewearerightnow,ourbodieshummingwithdesireandanticipation.

“Doyouwanttofinishyourdinner?”
HerquestiontakesmeoutofthedazeI’veslippedintoasIdrinkinthedelicatefeaturesofherface.

“I’mdone.Howaboutdessert?”

“Asyouwellknow,Ineversaynotodessert.”
Grinningatherpredictableremark,Ikissheragainandreluctantlyreleasehertogetthechocolate

cakeIboughtatthebakery.

“Arethosefrommyshop?”sheasks,pointingtotheyellowliliesonthecountertopthatshehasjust

nownoticed.

“Maybe.”
“How’dyoupullthatoffwithoutmeknowing?”
“Iwentinafteryouleftfortheday.”
“Verysneaky.”
“Ipreferstealthytosneaky.”
“Yougotmyfavoritecolor.”
“DidI?”Iaskwithasmallsmile.
“Youknowyoudid.Thankyou.”
“You’rewelcome.”Iplacethecakeandthechilledchampagneonthecounterandgetoutsomeplates.

“Youwanttodothehonors?”

“Sure.”
Asshecutsthecake,Iopenthechampagnewhilekeepingoneeyeonthehemofhertightreddressas

itridesuptothelinebetweenlegandcheek.I’msofocusedontheviewthatInearlyforgettostandclear
ofthechampagnebottle.Thecorkreleasessuddenly,launchingfortheceilingasIholdthebottleoverthe
sink.

Laurengiggleshelplessly,andherlaughtersparksmine.
“Smooth,huh?”
“Very.”
Ipourtwoglassesandhandonetoher.“Here’stosecondchances.”
Shetouchesherglasstomine.“Tosecondchances.”
“Let’stakedessertinthelivingroom.”
“Weneedtoclearthediningroomtable.”
“I’lldoitlater.”
“Umm…Canwedoitnow?”
Amusedbyherneedfororder,Iacquiesce.“Ifwemust.”
“Weabsolutelymust.”
Workingtogether,weclearthetable,storetheleftoverfoodandloadthedishwasher.“Allbetter?”I

askwhenwe’redone.

“Allbetter.”
Igiveheranindulgentsmileandfollowhertothesofawhereweenjoythecakeandchampagne.
“Youwenttoalotoftroubleforme.”
“Ihadfundoingit.”Itwirlastrandofherhairaroundmyfinger.“Iliketoseeyousmile.”Forsolong

afterhermarriageended,Ifearedwemightneverseehersmileagain.

“Doyoueverthink…”
“What?”
“Thatthis,betweenus,is…Idon’tknowhowtoputit.”

“Unexpected,evenifwe’vebothknowntherewassomethinggoingonforalongtime?”
“Yes,”shesays,seemingastoundedbymysummary.“Exactlythat.”
“IcanonlyspeakformyselfwhenIsaythatthis,betweenus,issomethingI’vewantedforaslongasI

canremember.Butthetimewasneverright.”

Shefrownsandlooksdownatherglass.“BecauseImarriedWayne.”
“Amongotherthings.IwassooverwhelmedwitheverythingaftermydaddiedthatIwasn’texactly

readyforanythingseriouseither.I’mstillnotsurethat’swhatIseeformyself,evennow.”Ifearthat
maybethestatementisalittletoorevealing.

“CouldIaskyousomething?”
“Anythingyouwant.”Icontinuetoplaywithherhairaswetalk.
Shetakesabiteofcakeandthenfeedsonetome.“Ifyourdadhadn’tdied,wouldyouhavecome

hometoMarfaaftercollege?”

Thequestiontakesmebysurprise.I’veneverspokentomyfriendsaboutwhatI’dplannedtodo

beforefateintervened.MyfatherwastheonlyoneathomewhoknewwhatI’dplannedtodoafter
college.HeandIagreedtokeepthedetailstoourselvesuntilImademydecision.Buthediedbeforeany
decisionscouldbemade.I’munpreparedtotalktoheraboutthis.DoItellherthetruthorsomeversion
ofit?

“Ifit’stoohardforyoutotalkabout,youdon’thaveto,”shesays,apparentlytuningintomydistress.
“Itwasalongtimeagonow.Whatdoesitmatter?”
“Ifitmatterstoyou,itmatterstome.”
“You’resosweet,”Iwhisper,leaningintokissher.“Soincrediblysweet.”Andsexyandsmartand

funnyandtalented.She’sallthosethingsandsomuchmore.

“That’sniceofyoutosay,butyoudidn’tanswermyquestion.”
Sighing,Ileanmyheadbackonthesofa.AsmuchasImightwishtoavoidthistopic,Ican’tstart

lyingtohernow,notwithsomuchatstake.“IhadnoplanstocomehometoMarfabeforemyfather
died.”

“Whatwereyougoingtodo?”
“IhadappliedforjobsinAustin,SanAntonioandHouston.”
She’ssilentforalongmoment,solongthatIwonderifI’vemadeahugemistakebybeingsohonest.

“Thatmust’vebeenaterribledisappointmentontopofsuchacrushingloss.”

LeaveittoLaurentoperfectlysummarizeit.“Yeah,”Isaygruffly.
“Doyouhaveanyideahowmuchwealladmireyouforwhatyou’vedoneforyourfamilysinceyour

daddied?”

“Ididwhatanyonewoulddounderthecircumstances.”
“No,Garrett,youdidwaymorethanmostpeoplewoulddo,andyou’venevercomplained.That’sso

admirable.Allyourfriendsthinkso.”

Nevercomplained?IwanttolaughatthatbecauseIfeellikeallIdoiscomplain,butnevertoothers.

Ikeepmythoughtstomyselfsothere’snochanceofmyresentmentanddiscontentevergettingbacktomy
mother.Shedidn’tsignonforthissituationanymorethanIdid.

“That’sniceofyoutosay.Mydadusedtotellmeyouhavetoplaythehandyou’redealt.That’swhat

I’vetriedtodo.”

“You’veplayeditverywell.”
HersweetnessandsupportpresentafurthertestofmyintentiontosticktotheplanIputtogetherfor

tonightandtherestoftheweek.Icuphercheekandgazeintohereyes.ThenIdipmyheadtokissher
jawlineonthewaytoherear.Ilovethatshequiversfrommytouch.

Iputmyglassonthecoffeetableandtakeherstoputitnexttomine.“Comehere.”Ireachforherand

bringherontomylap,whereshecannodoubtfeelwhatherclosenesshasdonetome.Theskinonherleg

issosoftagainstthepalmofmyhand.Sheistemptationpersonified,especiallywhenIremembermy
requestforhertobebareunderherdress.Evenwithallmywell-intentionedplans,Ican’tletthat
treasuregotowaste.Ilookupfrommystudyofherlong,tonedlegstofindherwatchingmeintently.
“What’reyouthinking?”

“I’mactuallytryingtofigureoutwhatyou’rethinking,”shesays.
“Howso?”
“Thiseveningisn’tunfoldingthewayIexpecteditto.”
“Whatdidyouexpect?”
“Foronething,Ididn’texpectlobsterorchampagneorflowersfrommyshoporchocolatecake.”
“Whatelse?”Icontinuetocaressherleg,lettingmyhandwanderalittlehigherwitheachcareful

stroke.

“Ifiguredwe’dbenakedinyourbedbynow.”
Herrefreshingbluntnessisaninstantturn-on,evenifI’malreadyincrediblyhotforher.“Areyou

disappointedthatwearen’t?”

“No.”
“Areyousure?”
“No.”
Ilaughatthatandletmyhandwanderuptograspafirmasscheek,squeezinguntilshemoans.
“Garrett,”shesays,breathless.
“Hmm?”
“What’reyoudoing?”
“Touchingyou.”
“Let’sgoinyourroom.”
Ishakemyhead.“Righthere.”
Hergroangoesstraighttomycock,sendinganelectricalcurrentfrommyballsstraightupmyspine.I

oughttobesaintedformyunprecedentedshowofself-control.I’veneverbeforedeniedmyselflikethis
sexually,andI’mnotentirelysureIhavethewillpowertofollowthroughwithmyplan.She’sjustso
fuckingtempting.

Ikissheragain,thistimegoingforbrokeratherthanteasingorflirting.Beforethisnightisover,I

wanthertohavenodoubtthatIwantherbadly,thatI’mwillingtodowhateverittakestomakehersee
thereisabsolutelynothingwrongwithher.Anotherthingmyfatherusedtotellmeisthatanythingworth
doingisworthdoingright.Laurenisdefinitelyworthdoing,andI’mdeterminedtodoherrightthistime.

Withoutbreakingthekiss,Ieaseherdowntothesofauntilshe’sflatonherbackandI’mleaningover

her.Inthisposition,ourkisstakesonnewdesperationaswestraintogetasclosetoeachotheraswe
possiblycan.Herfingerscombthroughmyhair,holdingmeinplacewhileshegrindsagainstme,every
moveofherhipsleavingnodoubtinmymindthatIcouldhaveherrighthereandnowifIwanted.Iwant.
Iwantsobadly,it’sbecomeacraving,ayearningsodeepthatI’vebeguntothinkI’llneverfullysatethe
needIhaveforher.

Itwouldbesoeasytogivein,butthefearofthesamethingthathappenedlasttimehappeningagain

helpsmerefocusonthegoalfortonight—herpleasureandonlyherpleasure.Ieasethespaghettistrapsof
herdressoffhershouldersanddownherarms,whichmakesitsoshecan’tmoveherarmsasItakeinthe
rigidpeaksofherbarebreasts.

IwanttospendayeardoingnothingbutworshipingLauren’sspectacularbreasts,butfornow,anhour

willhavetodo.Intentondrawingoutthesuspense—andthepleasure—ineverywaypossible,Ibegin
withgentlecaressesofhersuppleflesh,avoidingthetighttipsfornow.I’llcomebacktothemlater.Ican
tellshe’ssurprisedthatI’mnotinanyrush,andIcantellwhenitdawnsonherthatthere’snotgoingtobe
anyquickgratificationforeitherofus.

Awordaboutherspectacularbreasts—theyarebigandperfectlyshapedwithlightbrownnipplesthat

darkenincolorwhenshe’saroused.That’ssomethingIlearnedthefirsttimewedidthis.Ialsofoundout
herbreastsareincrediblysensitive,andifIhandlethemjustright,Imightbeabletomakehercomefrom
nothingmorethanintensedevotiontohergorgeousbreasts.Tonight,I’mouttotestthathypothesis.

Shesquirmsunderme,pressingtheheatofhercoreagainstmycock.
Despitemyresolve,thatmovegetsmyattentionandhasmewishingIwerelessdevotedtomy

goddamnedplan.Ikissbetweenherbreasts,underthem,aroundthem,basicallydrivinghercrazyifthe
soundsshemakesareanyindication.

BythetimeIrunmytongueoverthetipofherleftnipple,hereyeshaveglazedoverandherbottom

lipisswollenfrombeingtrappedbetweenherteeth.ShealmostlevitatesoffthesofaasItongueherrigid
flesh.Forthelongesttime,that’sallIdo—slidemytonguebackandforthwhileshewrithesbeneathme,
makingmeascrazyasIseemtobemakingher.

ThisiswhatIwanted,todrivehermadandtakeherbrainoutoftheequation,tomakeherforgetthat

heroldpalGarrettnowhashertitinhismouth.Iwanthersohotandsobotheredthatshedoesn’tknow
herownname,letalonemine.AsIclosemyteethoverhernippleandgiveitagentletug,Icansee—and
hear—thatmygoaliswithinreach.

Shescreams,andIsuckhardonhernipplewhilepinchingtheotheronebetweenmyfingers.Ikeep

thatup,switchingbackandforthfromonesidetotheotherforquiteawhile,solongthatIlosetrackof
time.MywholeworldhasbeenreducedtoLauren’sbreastsandtherhythmicpressofherhotpussy
againstmycock.IfI’mdrivingheroutofhermind,she’sdoingthesametome.

Drawingherleftnippleintomymouthagain,IrunmytongueoverthetipasIapplydeepsuction,all

whilepinchingtherightnippleharderthanIhaveuptonow.

Shedetonates,screamingandpullingmyhairandbuckingupagainstmycock,whichisseriously

pissedoffwithmeforkeepinghimpennedupwhenhecouldbeplungingintoherwetheatrightnow.

“Garrett,”shegasps,looseningherholdonmyhaireversoslightly.
Icontinuetosuckonhernipplewhilegentlytwistingtheotherone.
“Please,Garrett…”Shepullsonthebuttonstomyshirt,andoneofthempingsoffthecoffeetable.

Thenherhandsareonmychestandabdomenandpullingonmybelt.

Ididn’tplantoletmycockoutofsolitaryconfinementtonight,butI’munabletosummonthefortitude

tostopherfromunbuttoningandunzippingme.Thefeelofherwarmhandwrappedaroundmycock
nearlydoesmein.Butthensheusesherotherhandtopushmypantsdownovermyhips,andthat’swhenI
againrecallthatItoldhertoleavetheunderwearathome.Nowthere’sabsolutelynothingstanding
betweenmebeinginsideher.

Timeforretreat.ItpainsmegreatlytoputmyhandoverhersandremoveitfrommycockasIslide

downloweronthesofa,untilI’mpositionedbetweenherlegs.

HerlowgrowloffrustrationmakesmesmileasIpresskissestoherinnerthigh,whichtrembles

madlyundermylips.ThisisgoingbetterthanIexpected.She’salreadyhadoneorgasm,andI’mlooking
foranotheronewhenIpushherdressupandoverherhips,leavingherbaretomefromthewaistdown.
Fuckinghell…She’ssowet,hersexglistensfromthemoisturethat’sgatheredthere.Idiveinlikea
starvingman,lickingandsuckingandplungingmytongueintoher.She’ssoincrediblysweetand
responsive,rockingagainstmeasshemoansandcriesouteverytimemytonguecirclesherclit.

Hergriponmyhairisborderlinepainful,butIdon’tletthatdetermefrommygoalofcoaxinganother

orgasmfromher.Ipushtwofingersintoher,strokingintoherasIdrawherclitintomymouth.Ittakes
abouttensecondsofthatcombinationtosendherflyingonceagain.Success!Alreadythishasgonetwo
thousandpercentbetterthanthefirsttime.Asherinternalmusclesclampdownonmyfingers,it’sallIcan
dotoholdontomyownneedtocomeashardassheis.Buttonightisaboutherandonlyher.Ibringher
downslowly,slidingmyfingersintohergentlyandrunningmytongueoverherpulsatingclit.

WhenIfinallywithdrawfromher,shequiversfromheadtotoe.AsIwipemyfaceonthesleeveof

myshirt,Inoticethereddressisbunchedaroundherbelly,hernipplesaretightandredfromtheattention
Ipaidthem,hereyesareclosed,herfaceisflushedwithcolorandherlipsareparted.SatedLaurenisthe
moststunningsightI’veeverlaideyeson.Ipressakissrightaboveherpubicbone,andshejoltsunder
me.Ilovehowsensitivesheisaftershecomes.Ikisseachofherbreastsandthenfindherlipsinasoft,
gentlekiss.

“Garrett…”
“Hmm?”
“Arewegoingto…Doyouwantto…”
“Fuckyou?Hell,yes,Iwantto.Butthat’snothappeningtonight.”
Hereyesopen,andsheblinks,asiftobringmeintofocus.“Why?”
“Becausetonightisallaboutyouandmakingyoufeelgood.”
“But—”
Ikissthewordsoffherlips.“Trustme?”
“Yes,but—”
Ikissheragain.“We’renotonanydeadline.Iwanttotakemytimeandmakesurewegetittotally

right.”

“Thatfelttotallyrighttome.”
Smilingdownather,Isay,“I’mgladtohearit.”
“Whataboutyou?”
“Whataboutme?”
“Don’tyouwantsomeofwhatyougaveme?”
SobadIcanbarelybreatheforwantingit—andher.“Nottonight.”
Inthescopeofonesecond,shetransformsfromsatisfiedtoangry.Shepushesmeawayandsitsup,

tuggingatthebodiceofherdresstocoverherbreastsanddraggingthehemdowntocoverherass.“I’d
liketogohome,please.”

“Lauren,listen—”
Sherefusestolookatme.“Idon’twanttolisten.Iwanttogohome.”
“Iwanttodothisright,notfast,Lo.Don’tbemad.”Ireachforherhand,butshepullsitoutofmy

grasp.Shit.“Lauren,we’renotleavinghereuntilwetalkaboutthis.”

“What’stheretotalkabout?Iwanttohavesex.Youdon’t.Igetit.”
Incredulous,Isay,“Isthatwhatyouthink?”Igrabherhandandpressittomystill-hardcock.“Does

thatfeellikeIdon’twanttohavesex?”

“Itfeelslikeaharddick.HowamIsupposedtoknowwhatitmeans?Ifyoudon’twantme,allyou

havetodoissayso.There’snoneedtoplaythisbiggame.”

ItakeadeepbreathtoensureIdon’tlosemyshitwithher,whichwouldn’thelpanything.“Iwantyou

sobad,Iburnwithwantingyou.IthinkaboutyouandwhatyoulooklikenakedandhowbadlyIfuckedup
thatfirstnightwithyouallthegoddamnedtime.”

Shestaresatme,seemingstunnedbymyoutburst.
“Thishasnothingtodowithmenotwantingyouandeverythingtodowithnotwantingtofuckupthe

secondchanceyou’vegivenme.”

Afteralongmoment,shefinallyblinks.“Wh-whataboutthesecondchanceyou’vegivenme?”
“What’reyoutalkingabout?”
“Hasiteveroccurredtoyouthatthingswentbadbetweenusthefirsttimebecauseofme,notyou?”
“No.”Isaythatsinglewordasemphaticallyaspossible.“Thathasneveronceoccurredtome.”
“Well,itshould.”
“Whydoyousaythat?”

“Because.”Sheswallowssohard,Icanseeherthroatworking.“I’vebeentoldbeforethat…”
“Whathaveyoubeentoldbefore?”I’mangry,andshehasn’tevensaidityet.
“Thatsexisn’tmy…Well,thatI’mnotverygoodatit.”
Inastateoftotalshock,Istareather,mymouthhangingopenforaseconduntilIsnapitshut.“Who

toldyouthat?”Iaskthroughgrittedteeth.Ican’trecallthelasttimeI’vebeenasfuckingmadasIamright
now.

Shebacksawayfromme,subtly,butInotice.
Theangerrecedesasfastasitflared.“Sweetheart,don’tdothat.Don’tbeafraidofme.Icouldn’t

bearit.”

“I-I’mnotafraidofyou.”
“Comehere.”Ireachforheranddrawherintomyembrace.Withherheadonmychestandmyarms

wrappedtightaroundher,ItrytofindthewordsIneedtoreassureher.“Whotoldyouthatyou’renotvery
goodatsex?”

“Whodoyouthink?”
IwanttofindWaynePetersonandstranglethelifeoutofhim,butIcontainthaturgebecauserageis

nottheemotionsheneedsfrommerightnow.“Letmeassureyouthatcouldn’tbefurtherfromthetruth.”

“Howdoyouknowthat?Theonlytimeweeverdiditwasadisaster.Weboththoughtso.”
“Hewaswrong.”Imakeanefforttokeeptherageoutofmytone.“You’reverygoodatit.”My

fingertipsslidedownherarm,raisinggoosebumpsonherskin.“Youknowwhatturnsmeonmorethan
anythingelse?”

“What?”sheasks,soundingbreathlessagain.
“WhensomethingIdomakesawomancomethewayyoudidtwicetonight.That’stheultimateturn-on

forme.Soyousee,you’reactuallyincrediblygoodatitasfarasI’mconcerned.”

“Why’dyoustop,then?”
“BecauseIwanttobuildtheanticipationsowhenwefinallygettothemainevent,there’snochance

anythingcangowrong.Wewentfrombeingthebestoffriendstojumpingintobedtogether,anditdidn’t
work.Weneedalittletransitiontime.”

“Isthatwhattonightwas?Transitiontime?”
“Yes.Exactly.”
“Willyoudosomethingforme?”
“Anything.”
“WillyoucluemeinontheplansoIknowwhattoexpectandwhatnottoexpect?”
“Yeah,Icandothat.”
“Sowhathappensnext?”
“Now,Itakeyouhomeandwemakeplansfortomorrownight.”
Sherollsherlipbetweenherteeth.“DoIhavetogohome?”
“Youwanttostay?”
Nodding,shesays,“Aslongasyoudon’tmindgettingupearlytomeetthefivea.m.flowerdeliveryat

theshop.”

Igroandramatically,whichmakesherlaugh.“IguessIcandothatifitmeansIgettosleepwithyou.”

Graspingherhand,IgetupfromthesofaandtugheralongwithmeasIlockup,shutthelightsoffandgo
intomybedroom.Alarmbellssoundinmybrain.Sleepingtogethertonightwasmostdefinitelynotpartof
theplan,butIlackthefortitudetosaynotoherwhensheasksmeforsomething.IfIwerethinking
straight,I’drealizeIoughttobefarmoreworriedaboutthatthananythingelse.

“Thisisreallynice,”shesays,takinginthedarkwoodfurniture,fireplace,sittingareaandartworkin

mybedroom.“ArethoseHoney’s?”sheasksoftheframedphotographs.

“Ofcourse.You’veseenthisroombefore.”

“No,Ihaven’t.”
“Ican’tbelievethatwithallthecookoutsandpoolpartieswe’vehadhere.”
“I’veneverbeeninhere.”Withateasingsmile,sheadds,“Ihearthere’softenalineoutthedoorto

gainaccess.”

“Alllies.”
“NotsureIbelievethat.IheartheycomefromalloverforarollinthehaywiththeSexGod.”

I

CHAPTERFIVE

freezeinthemidstofremovingmyshirt.“What?”Myvoiceishardlymorethanawhisper.Howdoes
sheknowthat?

Shesitsonthebedandleansbackonherelbows,amovethatimmediatelyreawakensmypoor

torturedcock.“Comeon,Garrett.Don’tactlikeyoudon’tknowwhatI’mtalkingabout.”

Isitnexttoher,keepingmybacktoher.“Iknowwhatyou’retalkingabout.WhatIwanttoknowis

howyouknow.”

“Peopletalk.”
“People.Whatpeople?”
“Peopleinthissmalltowninwhichweliveandwork.”
Fuck.Fuck.Fuck.AndhereIthoughtmytouristtradewassuchawell-keptsecret.Iturntofaceher.

“Iwantyoutounderstandsomething.This,withus,isnothinglikethat.ThatwasjusthowIkilledtime
whileIwaitedforyoutofeelbetteragain.”

“Byhavingone-nightstandswithtourists?”
“Yeah,butitdoesn’tmeananything.It’sjustsexwiththem.It’ssomuchmorethanthatwithyou.”
“Youreallywaitedforme?”
“Hell,yes,Iwaited.Ialwayswantedyou.Iwantedtokillsomeonewhenyoumarriedthatdouche

Wayne.”God,whatamIdoingtellingherthisstuff?Wordslikethesecan’tbetakenback,notthatI’dever
takethemback,butIhadplansthatdidnotincludegettingthisseriouswithher.

Shesitsupstraight,herexpressionstartled.“Whydidn’tyoueversayanything?”
“Ithoughthewaswhatyouwanted,soIkeptmymouthshut.”RememberhowIsaidIblamemyself

forherendingupwithWayne?Thereyouhaveit.

Groaning,shefallsbackontothebed,handsoverherface.“You’vegottobefreakingkiddingme.”
Istretchoutnexttoherandtugononeofherhands.“Whatdoyoumean?”
“Whydidn’tyoutellmeyouthoughtaboutmethatway?”
“WhenwasIsupposedtodothatwhenyouwerespendingallyourtimewithhim?”
Sheremovesherhandsfromherfaceandlooksatmewithbigeyesswimmingwithtears.“Iwould’ve

droppedhimlikeabadhabitifI’dhadtheslightestinklingthatyouwereinterestedinmethatway.”

It’smyturntogroanasIburymyfaceinmyhands,frustrationpumpingthroughme.“Ican’tbelieve

this.Andherewethoughtweweresuchgreatfriends.”

Laurenpullsastrandofmyhairplayfully.“Wearegreatfriends.”
IturnmyfacetothesidesoIcanseeher.“Ifthat’sso,howhavewenevertalkedaboutanyofthis

before?”

“Weweretryingtopreservethatgreatfriendship.We’vebothbeenaroundtheblockenoughtoknow

thatanytimeyougoherewithagoodfriend,it’sahugerisk.”

“IhatetothinkthatIcould’vechangedwhathappenedwithWaynebysayingsomethingsooner.”
“Thatisinnowayyourfault.Iwasyoungandstupidandlonely.Thistown…Itcanbeatoughplace

tolivesometimes.We’resoisolated,andthelocaltalentcanbesomewhatlacking.Presentcompany
excluded,ofcourse.”

“Ofcourse,”Isay,smilingasItakeholdofherhandandlinkourfingers.“Wewastedsomuchtime.”

Inside,I’mpanickingovertheseriousturnthisconversationhastaken.We’resupposedtobeaboutone
weekofhotsexbeforeIheadoutforgreenerpastures,butwitheveryminuteIspendwithher,I’mgetting
moresuckedintosomethingsignificantinaplaceI’veneverwantedtobe.Fuck.

“Iprefertothinkweusedthattimetobecomethepeoplewearetoday,andmaybewemightbeready

forthisnowwhenwewouldn’thavebeenbefore.”

Proppingmyselfupononeelbow,Ileanintokissher.“Iwanttobevery,veryclearabout

something.”

“What?”Ilovethatbreathlesssoundshemakeswheneverthingsgetintensebetweenus.Icouldvery

easilybecomeaddictedtothatsound.

“I’vewantedyouforaslongasI’veunderstoodwhatitmeanstowantawoman.”AndIjustkeep

diggingadeeperholeformyselftoclimboutof,butIwanthertoknowthatshe’ssexyanddesirableand
lovable.ThethoughtofherdoubtingherselfbecauseofthatfuckerWaynemakesmecrazy.

“Garrett,”shesaysonalongsigh.“I’vealwayshadtheworstcrushonyou,evenwhenIwaswith

Wayne—andBlake.”

Ofcourse,Iknewshe’dhookedupwithmyfriendafewtimeswaybackwhen,butI’dblockedthat

memoryfrommymind.“Idon’tliketothinkaboutthatstageofourlives.”

“Wewereboredandconvenienttoeachother.That’salliteverwas.”
“DoesHoneyknowthatyousleptwithhim?”
“Uh-huh.Itwasmyideaforhertopropositionhimthenighttheyfirstgottogether.She’dneverhada

decentorgasminherlife,soIsuggestedshetakehimforaride.”

“Becauseheknowswhathe’sdoing?”I’munreasonablyinfuriatedatthereminderthatsheonceslept

withmyfriend,evenifitwasyearsago.

“Somethinglikethat.”Afterapause,shesays,“Thatdoesn’tmakeyoumad,doesit?”
“No.”She’sturningmeintoabald-facedliar.I’mfuckingfurious,althoughwhyI’msofuriousisn’t

exactlyclear.CoulditbebecauseIalwaysthoughtofherasmine,evenwhenshewasmarriedto
someoneelseorwhenshe’dfooledaroundwithmyfriend?I’llhavetochewonthatdisturbingthought
later,whenI’malone.“Thatwasyearsago.Whatdoesitmatternow?”

“Exactly.”
Itakeaseriesofbreaths,tryingtogetmyemotionsundercontrol.Forthefirsttimeinmylife,I’m

experiencingwhatinsanejealousyfeelslike,andIdon’tlikeit.Idon’tlikeitonebit.I’mnotsurewhatI
wanttodofirst—fuckthememoriesofBlakerightoutofhermindorbeattheshitoutofmyfriendfor
daringtoputhishandsonher.

“Ifitdoesn’tmatter,whydoyoulooklikeyouwanttokillsomeone?”
RememberwhatIsaidaboutbeingknownbyher?“Itmakesmecrazytothinkaboutyouwithany

otherguy.”Igowiththetruth,becauseIcan’thidefromher.

Herhandonmyfaceandthesoft,sweetlookshegivesmegoalongwaytowardeasingmytension.

“EveryguyI’veeverbeenwith,includingBlake,Iwishedwasyou.”

Somethinginsidemesnapsathearingthat.Idragherintomyarmsandkissherwithyearsofpent-up

desireandfrustrationpouringforth.NowthatI’mfinallyallowedtoshowherthefullextentofmydesire
forher,there’snoholdingback,noplansorself-control.There’sonlyrawpassionanddesperateneed.
BythetimeIrecapturemysenses,Iamontopofher,herlegsandarmsarewrappedaroundme,andI’m
onfireforher.

“Dowereallyhavetowait?”
Hersoftlyspokenquestionpermeatesthefogthat’sovertakenmycommonsense.Whatthefuckis

wrongwithme?I’vegotthewomanofmydreamsinmybedaskingmetomakelovetoher,andallIcan
thinkaboutiswhatwentsoterriblywrongthelasttimewetriedthisandhowthenexttimemustbe
fuckingperfectorshemightalwaysthinkthere’ssomethingwrongwithher.Ittakeseveryounceofsanity
Icanmustertooverridetheincessantthrobbinginmydicktosay,“Ireallythinkweshould.”

Hereyesclose,andalongsighescapesherswollenlips.Shesquirmsunderme,makingsureIcan

feeltheheatofherpussyagainsttherigidlengthofmycock.Messagereceived.Ibegintowonderifa
mancanactuallydiefromanacutecaseofblueballs.Mineareprobablycobaltbynow.Reluctantly,I
rolloffherandlandonmyback,lookingupattheceilingandsummoningthefortitudetostickwiththe
plan.

Ifonlywehadn’tscrewedthisupsobadlyoncebefore.Ifthathadn’thappened,I’dbeballsdeepin

hertightwetheatrightnow.Thethoughtofthathasmebitingbackagroanasmydicksurgeswith
excitementoverthevisualI’vecreatedinmyownmind.Down,boy.

“Letmegetyousomethingtosleepin,”IsayasIsitupandrunmyfingersthroughmyhair.
“That’sokay.Iprefertosleepaunaturel.”
Fuckinghell.Someonepleasejustshootmerightnow.
Ihalfwalk,halflimptothebathroom,whereIeyetheshowerwithlustinmyheart.TheonlychanceI

haveofrelievingthisacheandgettingsomesleepisifIcantaketheedgeoff.Ireturntothedoor.“I’m
goingtotakeaquickshower,”Itellher.

“I’mmakingmyselfathomeinyourbed.Takeyourtime.”
Withthevisionofhernakedinmybedoccupyingmymind,I’llbeluckyifittakestenseconds.Igo

throughthemotionsofgettingcleanedup,butwithallthebloodinmybodyconvergedinoneplace,it
doesn’ttakelongformyhandtoendupwrappedtightaroundmycock.Ipropmyfreehandagainstthe
walloftheshowerandgivemyselfovertotheneedforrelief.I’msoprimedthatIimmediatelyfeelthe
telltalesignsofimpendingrelease.Gasping,IgiveintoitandcomeharderthanIhaveinmyentirelife,
mywholebodyshakingfromtheexplosiveorgasm.I’mleftbreathlessintheaftermath.Itakegreedydeep
breathsandraisemyfacetothewatertocoolmeoff.

Andevenafterallthat,I’mstillhard.Fuckingawesome…Ishutoffthewater,turntogetoutofthe

shower,andI’mshockedtoseeLaureninallhernakedglory,leaningagainstthevanity,armscrossed
underherbreasts.

“Iwould’vetakencareofthatforyou.”

Holyhell.Ihadnoideashewasthere,andnowthatIknowshesawme,I’mashardasIwasbeforeIthe
orgasmintheshower.Withouttakingmyeyesoffthespectacularsightofhernakedbody,Igrabatowel
andwrapitaroundmywaist.Ihavenoideawhattosaytoheraudaciousstatement,soIgothroughthe
motionsofrunningacombthroughmyhairandbrushingmyteethwhiletryingtoignorethehugetentpole
undermytowel.Inthelinencloset,Ifindanewtoothbrushandhandittoher.

Shetakesitfrommewithoutcomment.
Ipassthetoothpastetoher.

“Thanks.”
Webrushourteethwhilemakinganefforttoavoideyecontactinthemirror.Ifeellikeateenagerwho

justgotcaughtbeatingoffintheshower.EventhoughI’membarrassedtohavebeencaught,Ican’tstop
hearinghersayshewould’vetakencareofitforme.Nexttime,I’lllether.

Irinsethetoothpasteoutofmymouthandgointothewalk-inclosetthatadjoinsthebedroom.Rifling

throughmydrawers,Ifindapairofpajamapantsatthebottomofapileofgymshortsandputthemonout
ofsheerself-preservation.IfI’mintentonkeepingtothebloodyplan—andI’mthisclosetosayingfuck
thebloodyplan—there’snowaywecanbothgetinbednaked.

LaurenhasleftthebathroombythetimeIemergefromthecloset.Ishutoffthelightsandgetintobed,

acutelyawareofhernexttome.

“I’msorryifIintrudedonaprivatemoment,”shesaysafteralongsilence.
“Idon’tmind.”Withanyotherpersonontheplanet,I’dbeenraged,butImeanitwhenIsayIdon’t

mindthatshesawme.

Shecurlsuptome,herwarm,soft,nakedbodytestingmyresolvelikenothingelseevercould.“I

meantitwhenIsaidthatIwould’vetakencareofyou,Garrett.”

“Tonightwassupposedtobeaboutyou.”
“Sayswho?”
“Me.”
“Well,therearetwoofusinthisrelationship,orwhateveryouwanttocallit,anditmightbetimeto

takethisrigidplanofyoursandeitherthrowitoutthewindoworshoveitupyourass.”

Ilaughatherbluntness.“Isthatright?”
“Uh-huh.”
Irealizeshe’snowabovemeaboutasecondbeforeherlipsmakecontactwithmychest.Howisit

possiblethatonesoftkissfromthiswomanmakesmefeellikeI’vebeenhitwithastungunwhensoft
kissesfromotherwomenhaveabsolutelynoeffectonmewhatsoever?That’sanotherthingI’llhaveto
thinkaboutlaterwhenI’mnotundertheinfluenceofLaurenandhersexykissesandthesoftstrokeofher
hairovermyfeveredskin.

Runningmyfingersthroughthatlong,curlyhair,Itrytobringherupforakiss,butshewon’tbe

deterredfromherplan.Fuck…

Hersoftkissesmovefrommychesttomyabdomen,wheresheuseshertonguetotracetheoutlineof

eachmuscle.“Isthisasix-packoraneight-pack?”

ThoughIcanheartheamusementinherquestion,Icanbarelybreathe,letaloneformaresponse.
“Letmecount.One,two,three…”Shecountstoeight,tracingtheoutlineofeachabdominalmuscle

withthetipofhertongue.Whenshe’sdonewiththat,shemovestotheV-cutmusclesthatcradlemyhips.
I’mgoingtolosemyshitalloveragainifshekeepsthatup.Thenshepushesmypajamapantsdownand
wrapsherhandaroundmyhardcock.Isuckinasharpdeepbreath.I’monthevergeofexploding,and
she’sbarelytouchedme.

“Ilovehowbigyouare,”shewhispers.
Thismust’vebeenhowJobfeltwhenhewassosorelytested.NowshehasmequotingtheBible.

DearGod.Sheholdsmycockinhertightlittlehandandwrapsherwarmlipsaroundthehead,applying
justtherightamountofsuctionasshetakesmeintohermouth.Theorgasmintheshowermight’ve
happenedayearagoratherthantenminutes.That’showfastshehasmerightbackontheedgeagain.

Fuckinghell,she’sgoodatthis,andhowdidshegetsogoodatit?Thethoughtofherdoingthisto

WaynefuckingPetersonnearlyruinsthemood,andwithmydickinLauren’smouth,Ireallydon’twantto
ruinthismood.SoIpushallthoughtsofthatsonofabitchtothepastwheretheybelongandfocusonthe
extremelypleasurablepresentthat’sunfoldingbeforemyeyes.Andyes,eveninthemurkydarkness,Ican
seeher.

She’ssohotallthetime,butwhenshe’sblowingme…Idon’thavethewordstodescribehow

incrediblysexyitistowatchherworshipmycock.AndworshipistheonlywordIcanthinkofforthe
wayshelicksandsucksandstrokesmetothepointofmadness.

“Lo…Lauren…Babe…”Igiveheramplewarning,butshedoesn’tbackoff.Ifanything,she

redoubleshereffortstogivemetheorgasmofalifetime.I’mholdingonbyafingernailwhenshecupsmy
ballsandsqueezes—nottoohard,butjustright,justenoughtomakemeblow.

Shestayswithmethroughitall,neverlettingupuntilI’mcompletelydrainedandabouttobegfor

mercy.Shereleasesmeslowly,draggingherlipsandtongueovermysensitiveflesh,makingmetremble
likeaboywhojustgotblownforthefirsttimebyamaster.Thatwas,mostdefinitely,notpartofmyplan
fortonight.

WhenIthinkaboutallthetimewe’vewastedwithotherpeoplewhenwecould’vehadthis

together…MynewfoundhighisreplacedbyacrushinglowthatremindsmeofhowIfeltwhenmyfather
diedandallmychoicesweretakenfrommesosuddenly.Iwasthisclosetomygreatescapeandnow…
Now,Idon’tknowwhatthefuckI’mdoing.AllIknowisIlovebeingwithherlikethis.Itfeelsright.

Icovermyfacewithmyhandsandfocusonbreathing—andmaintainingmycomposure,whichhas

beenthoroughlywreckedbythebewitchingwomanwhohas,onesmallstepatatime,becomethecenter
ofmyworld.IfIletthishappenwithher,ifIletitbecomeaboutmorethansex,I’mgoingtohavetogive
upeveryotherthingIwant,andafterwaitingsolongforthechancetospreadmywingsoutsideofMarfa,
I’mnotsureIcandothat.

“Areyouokay?”sheasks,drawingmeoutofmythoughtsandbackintothemomentwithher.
“I’mfarbetterthanokay.Thatwasamazing.”Ireachforherandbringherintomyarms,pullingthe

blanketupandoverus.Iwanttostayforeverinourlittlecocoon,wherenothingandnoonecantouchus,
andI’veneverwantedanythingremotelyclosetothatwithanyoneelse.Usually,Iplanmyexitstrategy
beforetheforeplaybegins.ButwithLauren,Ifeeladesperateneedtokeepherclose,toproceedwith
caution,tomakesurenothingcaneverhurtheragain—includingme.

U

CHAPTERSIX

naccustomedtosharingmybed,IwakewellaheadofthealarmwhenLauren’swarm,softbody
sprawlsoverme.That’sallittakestomakemeimmediatelyhardforher,butIdon’tdoanything

aboutthat.Iwanthertosleepaslongasshecan.Sheputsinlongdaysthatbeginbeforedawnfivedaysa
weekwiththeflowerdeliveryfromElPaso.

AsIholdherclosetome,ItrytorememberthelasttimeIspentanentirenightwithawoman.Itwas

mysenioryearofcollege.I’ddatedagirlnamedMarcyforaboutsixmonths,andweweremakingsome
planstostaytogetheraftergraduationwhenmyfatherdied,andIwasforcedtogohometoMarfa.Marcy
hadbeentoMarfawithmeonce,andthat’dbeenenoughforher.

Whenshetoldmeshecouldn’tpossiblymovehomewithme,itdidn’tmattertomeintheleast.Iwas

toobusyandtoogrief-strickentomournthelossofagirlfriendwhomeantalottomeuntilshedidn’t.
Likemyfather,thatrelationshipsufferedasuddendeathwhencircumstancesintervened.Ididn’thavethe
wherewithaltocare,andI’vebarelygivenherathoughtintheensuingyears.

I’mnotonetooveranalyzemyselforothers,butitisn’tlostonmethatthepartofmethatwasa

normalyoungmanwithagirlfriendandplansforalifewasstuntedbythesuddenlossofmyfather.I’ve
neverhadanotherseriousrelationshipsinceMarcyandIcalleditquitsaftermyfather’sfuneral,thusmy
habitofsleepingalone.

Afterlastnight,I’mtryingtoreconcilemyowninternaltugofwarbetweenwantingsobadlyto

pursuethisjobopportunityinAustin—andtohavemoreofLauren.I’vespentthebetterpartofmyadult
lifebeingtornbetweenwhatIwantformyselfandwhatI’vehadtodoformylovedones.NowthatI’m
finallyfreeandclearoffamilyobligationsandabletospreadmywings,anotherlovedoneisnakedand
asleepinmyarms.

WhatthehellamIdoingsleepingwithnakedLaurenwhenIhaveonefootonthewayoutofthetown

whereshe’sestablishedahomeandabusiness?Asenseofpanichasmecarefullydisengagingfromher.I
headforthebathroomandanothershowertotendtomydisobedientcock,whoisn’tatallhappythatIleft
Laurentosleepwithouttendingtohisneedsfirst.

HeandIareinthebiggestfighteverrightnow.IneedhimtodowhatItellhimforthefirsttimeinhis

freakinglife.Heneedstostopgoingrogueandsticktothefuckingprogram.

I’mallforstickingtothefuckingprogramifonlyyouwouldstopgettinginmyway.I’mhereto

fuck.That’soneofmyprimarypurposes.

Ismydickactuallytalkingtomenow?Seriously,I’mlosingmyever-lovingmind.AsIstandunder

theshower,Icontemplatemyoptions.

1. Icouldspeedthingsup,dothedeedwithLaurenandprovetoheronceandforallthatthere’s

abso-fucking-lutelynothingwrongwithher.

2. IcouldcontinuewiththeoriginalplananddrawoutthesuspenseuntilI’mahundredpercent

certainshe’sreadyforthemainevent.

3. Idon’thaveanoptionC.

AsIcontemplatemylimitedoptions,Istrokemywaywardcocktoyetanotherpowerfulorgasmthat

leavesmeweakandgaspingintheaftermath—twothingsthathaveonlyhappenedsinceIstartedfooling
aroundwithLauren.Beforeher,anorgasmwasn’tthefull-bodyeventitiswhenshe’sonmymind.

Iturnmyfaceupintothewaterandletitraindownuponme,wishingitcouldalsobringsomeclarity

tothisincreasinglyout-of-controlsituation.Butthewaterhasnoanswers,andneitherdoI.Iturnoffthe
showerandopentheglassdoor,shockedtoonceagainfindLaureninthesamespotsheoccupiedlast
night.

Likethen,herarmsarefoldedunderherbreasts,andthesightofhersplendidnakedbodyhasthe

roguewarriorbelowbackonfullalert.Ican’twinwithhimlately.

“Agirlcouldgetacomplexfromaguywho’dratherruboneoutintheshowerthanwithher.”

WakingupnakedandaloneinGarrett’sbed,myoldinsecuritiescamerushingbacktoremindmethat
despiteeverythingthathappenedlastnight,westillhaven’thadsex.AndthenIfoundhimonceagainona
solomissionintheshower,andmyinsecuritieswentbat-shitcrazy.Whywouldheratherdothatby
himselfthanwithmewhenI’malreadynakedinhisbed?

Andwhydoeshelooksoguilty,asifhe’sbeencaughtdoingsomethingheshouldn’tdoratherthan

somethingthatcomesnaturallytomostguys?Idon’tknowwhattodonext,andIhatethat.Itremindsme
fartoomuchofbeingmarriedtoWaynewhenIneverknewwhattoexpect.

Whilehestandstherelookingstunnedandspeechless,Ipushbyhimandgetintotheshowertoclean

up.Whoneedsthisshit?I’vegotabusinesstorunandalifetolead,andifhe’drathergetbusybyhimself
thanwithme,thenIhavetheanswersIcameforlastnight.

I’mrinsingshampoooutofmyhairwhenIfeelhisarmsaroundme.AtfirstI’mtoosurprisedtoreact,

andthenI’mtoooverwhelmed.Betweenthelipsthatarefeastingonmyneck,thehandsthatarecupping
mybreastsandthehardcocknestledbetweenmycheeks,hequicklytakescontrolofmybodyandmind.
WhatwasIthinkingaboutbeforeheshoweduptoscramblemybrain?

Ohyeah,thatit’stimetocutmylosseswithhimandmoveon.Exceptnowhisexceptionalcockis

pressingagainstmeinanenticingrhythmwhilehisfingerstweakmynipples,anditdoesn’tseemthatI’m
capableofdoingorthinkingaboutanythingotherthanhim.

“Iwasn’tinherebymyselfbecauseIdon’twantyou,”hesaysgruffly,hisbreathwarmagainstmy

neck.Ihadnoideamyneckwassosensitive.“IwasinherebymyselfbecauseIdidn’twanttowakeyou
upanyearlierthannecessary.”

“Garrett…”He’sdrivingmecrazy.Iwanttobendoverrightthereandlethimshovethatbig,

magnificentcockintome.Iwanttoforgetabouttheflowerdeliveryandthelongdayaheadofmeatwork
soIcanhavehimeverywaywecanthinkofalldaylong.Ihavenever,inmyfiveyearsofbusiness
ownership,thoughtaboutblowingoffworkforaman.

“What,darlin’?”
“Youshould’vewokenmeup.”
Hegroansloudlyandcontinuestogrindagainstme.
Theachebetweenmylegsissosharpastobepainful.Itrytoturntofacehim,buthismusculararms

havemelockedintoplace.“Easy,baby.Justlikethis.”

Iwhimperfromtheneedthathastakenmeover.WhoknewGarrettandIwouldbelikegasandfire

whenwegotnakedtogether?

Youknew,mysubconsciousreplies.You’vealwaysknownthat,whichiswhythefirsttimewassuch

ahugedisappointment.Itwasn’tsupposedtohavebeenlikethatwithhim.Itwassupposedtohave
beenlikethis.

Asifhecantellhowneedyhe’smademe,hishandslidesdownmybellytoslipbetweenmylegs.I’m

soprimed,ittakesonlyafewstrokesofhisfingersinjusttherightplacetomakemecomesohard,Isee
stars.Mylegsgiveoutfromunderme,andonlyhisarmtightaroundmybodykeepsmefromfalling.

“Areyoustartingtogetthepicture?”heasksinthatsexytonethattellsmehowturnedonheis,too.

“It’snotyou,Lauren.Thereisabsolutelynothingwrongwithyou.”

Icanbarelybreathe,letalonespeak.
“I’msohardforyou,IfeellikeI’mgoingtoburstfromwantingyou.”
Fuckwork.Fuckthethousanddollars’worthofflowersthat’lldieinthirtyminutesinthedryTexas

heat.Fuckanythingthatisn’thiminsidemerightnow.

Myfingersdigintothedensemusclesonhisforearm.“Please,Garrett.”Iaddasofterbutnoless

urgentplease.

HepicksmeupsofastthatIlosetrackofwhat’shappeningforasecondbeforehecarriesmethrough

theshowerdoorandintohisbedroom.“Tellmeyou’resafe,”hesaysasheputsmedownonhisbedand
hoversoverme,lookingatmeinawaythatwouldsetmeonfireifIwasn’talreadyabouttoloseit.

“I-Iam.”Isthisreallygoingtohappen?Righthereandnow?“I’vebeenonthepillforyears.”
“Iam,too.Ihadaphysicalamonthago.I’dnevertouchyouifIwasn’tonethousandpercentcertain

ofthat.”

“I-Iknow.”He’sturnedmeintoastammeringfoolwithhisintensity.
Thenhetakesholdofhishardcockandnotchesitbetweenmylegs,nudgingmyclit,whichisstill

tinglingandthrobbingfromtheorgasmintheshower.“Thiswasn’tsupposedtohappenyet.Ihadaplan.”

“Garrett!”
“What?”
“Fuckyourplan!”
Hereleasesagaspofsurprisedlaughterandnearlyloseshiscomposure.
Iraisemyhipstoencouragehim,andjustlikethat,hislaserfocusisback.
Afterheteasesmetothepointofmadness,hepressesintome,andI’mimmediatelyremindedofthe

lasttimewedidthisandhowtightthefithadbeenthen.It’snolesssothistime.Thestretchofmyfleshis
borderlineuncomfortable,whichheseemstorealize,retreatingbeforehetriesagain.Hedoesthisover
andoveragain,untilhe’sfullyseatedinsideme.

Iholdonfordearlifetohimasheinvadesmybody,bothofussweatingfromtheeffortittakesfor

himtofullyenterme.

“Ah,fuck,Lauren,”hesays,soundingallgrowlyandsexy.“Youfeelsofuckinggood.Sohotandso

tightandsowet.”Hereachesundermetograspmyasscheeksandbeginstomove.

SinceI’velostcontrolofmyfaculties,Icandonothingbutliethereandtakethedeepstrokesthatfill

metooverflowingbeforeheretreatsanddoesitagain.He’sstandingonthefloorandhasmepositioned
attheedgeofthebed,rightwherehewantsmesohecanplaymybodylikethegodheis.Thenickname,
I’mdiscoveringonedeepstrokeatatime,isverywelldeserved.

Hehasthelowerhalfofmybodyraisedoffthebed,angledforthedeepestpossiblepenetration.Then

herubsagainstaspotinsideme,aplacenoonehasevertouchedbefore,andIexplode,screamingfrom
thesheerforceofthesensationsthatstartinmycoreandrollouttoeveryinchoftherestofme.

Afterthat,hegoesalittlenuts,hammeringintomewiththekindofabandonIwouldn’thavesuspected

himcapableofbeforenow.Hecompletelyletsgoofthecloselyheldcontrolthat’ssomuchapartofwho
heis.Ifeelprivilegedtowatchthathappen,toseehimunravelbeforeme.Helayshimselfbareashe
throwsbackhisheadandcomeshard.It’ssomuchmorepowerfulandintensethanitwaswhenhewas
aloneintheshower,andIfeelasenseofvictoryathavinggivenhimthat.

Oh,andtheinsecuritiesI’vegrappledwithsincethefirsttimewetriedthis?They’rehistory.

Icomedownontopofher,wonderingifthetopofmyheadactuallyblewofforifitjustfeelslikeitdid.
Holymotherfuckingshit.Thatwasmostcertainlynotpartoftheplanforthismorning.Ihavenever,ever,
everexperiencedanythingevenclosetowhatitwasliketofuckLauren.Notevenclose.

Mylungsacheanddotsdancebeforemyeyes,asifI’veheldmybreathfortoolong.Andasshe

snugglesmeintoherwarmembrace,IrealizeI’vemadeamistakeofepicproportions.Sexlikethat…It
changeseverything.There’snogoingbacktojustbeing“pals”aftersomethinglikewhatjusthappened
here.Fuckinghell.Myplanhasbeensmashedtosmithereensinfifteenunforgettableminutes.

WhileIlieontopofher,tryingtocatchmybreathandmakemyheadstopspinning,Isuddenlyrecall

ananti-drugassemblythattookplaceduringoursenioryearofhighschool.Theybroughtinaprominent
sportsfigurewhoblewhiscareerbygettinghookedondrugs.Itonlytakesonetime,hetoldus,tochange
yourlifeforever.

Areyouseeingtheparallelshere?Asmentionedabove,Ilikesex.Ilikeitalot.Upuntilaboutsix

monthsago,IhadasmuchofitaspossiblewheneverIcould.NowIknowthere’ssexandthenthere’ssex
withLauren,whicharetwoentirelydifferentthings.

Ifeelherfingerscombthroughmyhair,restoringorderandmakingmefeellovedandcomforted.I’m

sotemptedtowallowinthatfeelingaswellastheaftershocksthathaveherpussycontinuingtogripmy
cock,whichisstillhalfhard.Thatalonedefiesbelief.HowcanIstillbehardafterthat?

“Areyouokay?”sheasksafteralongsilence.
Nodding,Isay,“You?”
“Mmm-hmm.”
ItellmyselfI’vedonemyjobhere.I’verestoredherconfidenceandproved—ratherdefinitively,ifI

dosaysomyself—thatanypreviousissuesinthebedroomwerenotherfault.Ishouldgetup,helpherup,
takeanothershowerandgethertotheshoptoaccepttheflowerdelivery.

That’swhatIshoulddo.
Butmycockhasotherideas.He’shadonetasteofLauren’sperfection,andlikethejunkieheis,he

wantsmore—andhewantsitrightnow.Mysemibecomesafull-blownerectioninabouttensecondsflat.
Beforemylittlebraintakesovertheshowonceagain,Ihavethepresenceofmindtowonderifit’sgood
formyvesselstoprocessthatmuchbloodinthescopeofseconds.

I’llworryaboutmyvascularsystemlater.Rightnow,Ihavefarmoreimportantthingstodo,suchas

Lauren—again.IcantellIsurpriseherwhenIrollusonthebigbedsoI’mlyingflatonthemattress
lookingupatherinallherbefuddledgloryasshesitsastrideme,impaledbymycock.

Herfaceisadorablyflushed,herlipsswollenandhertitsexceptional.Shelaysherhandsonmy

chest,almostasifshe’sseekingsomethingtoholdonto.

“Rideme,sweetheart.”Iraisemyhandstoherhipstoguideherasshefollowsmydirectionandtries

tofindherrhythm.Atfirst,she’sawkwardandalittlehesitant,butwithmyenthusiasticencouragement—
alsoknownasthrusting—shegetshergrooveandtakesusbothonawildride.Twoorgasmsshouldhave
takentheedgeoffforme,butthetightsqueezeofherpussyhasmeclimbinglongbeforeI’mreadyforthis
toend.

Sittingup,Iwrapmyarmstightaroundherandkissher,suckinghertongueintomymouth.Icantell

shelikesthat,becauseherinternalmusclesclampdowntightonmycock.Beinginsideherislikefucking
heaven.Keepingonearmaroundherback,IbreakthekissandcupherleftbreastsoIcansuckonthetight
tip.

Shescreams,herheadfallingback,andherpussyseizingaroundmycock.It’sunbelievabletorealize

thelasttimewasn’taone-off.Forsixlongmonths,wecould’vebeendoingthis?Nottomentionthe
previoussixyearssinceImovedhometoMarfa.Sonofabitch.Again,I’mleftwonderinghowourfirst
timecould’vegonesoverywrongifwewerecapableofthis.I’llneverunderstandthat,butthis…ThisI
understand.ThisIknowhowtodo.Icupherassinmyhandsandusemywell-developedbicepstoraise
herupanddownonmycock.Watchinghertitsbounceasshelandsandhearingthesharpgaspthatcomes
fromhermoutheverysingletimemythickbasestretchesherwideislikehavingeverywetdreamI’ve
everhadcometrueinoneabsolutelyfuckingperfectmoment.

Andthenshecomes—hard—sohardshemakesmeseestarsandshattersmycontrol.I’mrightthere

withher,makingnoisesI’venevermadeinmylifeasIunloadinheragain.BeforeIfinishreelingfrom
yetanothercataclysmicfinale,IstartthinkingaboutallthewaysIwanttohaveher.Thefirstimagethat
comestomindisLaurenonherknees,legsspread,assintheair,ripeformetoplaywithwhileIfuckher
frombehind.Iwonderifshe’deverletmefuckherass.Theideaofithasmehardasarockonceagain.
Theroguewarriorisshowingmewho’sbosstoday,andIfindmyselfinnomoodtoarguewithhim—not
whenitfeelssodamnedgoodtolethimhavehisway.

Ihaveahugeworkdayaheadofme,meetingsontopofmeetings,end-of-monthreportsdue,payroll

fornofewerthantencompaniestooversee,andallIcanthinkaboutishowsoonIcanmakemyfantasya
reality.

“Lauren.”
Sheraisesherheadoffmyshoulderwhereitlandedaftershecameandlooksmeintheeye.
“Ithinkweshouldcallinsick.”

Insixyearsofrunningmyfather’sbusiness,I’veneveroncecalledinsick,evenwhenIhadthefluor
afterIbadlysprainedmyankleplayingagameofpickupbasketballwithBlake,Mattandsomeofour
otherfriends.I’vealsonevertakenarealvacation.Ican’tbeawayfromthebusinessthatlong,sowhat’s

thepointoftryingtogetaway?

So,tosayit’soutofcharacterformetocallmyassistant,Tanya,andtellherIwon’tbeintodayis

puttingitmildly.IrenderpoorTanyaspeechless.

“You’redoingwhat?”sheasksintheTexastwangthataddsextrasyllablestoeveryword.Acrossthe

room,Laurenisonthephonewiththehighschoolstudentsheemploysparttime,askinghertorunbythe
shoptobringintheflowersandputtheminthefridgebeforeshegoestoschool.

“Oh,andputanoteinthewindowthatwe’llbeclosedtoday,”Laurenadds.
Ituneintoherexplainingthatshe’stoosicktocometoworkandnearlyforgetthatTanyaaskedme

something.

“Garrett!What’swrongwithyou?”
Itrytothinkofsomething,butmymindhasbeenwipedcleanofanythoughtsthatdon’tinvolvebeing

insideLauren’sdelectablebody.“I…”

“Doyouneedmetocomeoverthere?”
“No!Definitelynot.Stomachflu.It’sbad.”
“Ohhh,okay.Poorbaby.That’stheworst.I’llrescheduleyourday.Willyoubeabletocheckyour

emaillatertoapprovethepayroll?”

Withhercalltakencareofandafteratriptothebathroomtocleanup,Laurencrawlsacrossthebed

andwrapsherselfaroundme,herbreastsflatagainstmyback.

“Garrett?”
“What’sthat?”
“Payroll.”
“Oh,right,yes.I’lllookatitthisafternoon.”
Lauren,thatsexywitch,reachesaroundmeandbeginsstrokingtheroguewarrior,who’sbackonfull

alert,preparedtodobattleagainatamoment’snotice.He’sindefatigable.I’llgivehimthat.Thenshe
bitesmyearlobe,andIjolt.

“Doyouneedanything?”Tanyaasks.“Souporgingeraleorcrackers?”
“No,thanks,”Isay,clearingthegruffnessfrommythroat.“I’mgood.”So,so,sogood.
“Checkinwithmelater.I’veneverhadtogetthroughadaywithoutyouhere.I’mnotsureIcan

handleit.”

“Dowhatyoucanandputtherestonholduntiltomorrow.”Mystaffwon’trunmybusinessintothe

groundifItakeonedayoff,willthey?Iexperienceatwingeofanxietythat’squicklytrumpedbylustas
Laurenenthusiasticallypumpsmycockwithhersoftlittlehand.“I’vegottogo.”

“Feelbetter.”
Ifeelsogood,betterthanIhaveinages,aslongasIdon’tthinkaboutwhatthismeansorhowit

impactstheplansI’vemadeformyself.“Thanks.”ItossmyphoneasideandgrabholdofLauren’shand
tostopherfromfinishingmeoffbeforeIcanliveoutthatfantasyIhadearlier.

“Onyourhandsandknees,”Itellher.“Now.”AsI’mlookingatherovermyshoulder,Icanseeher

eyeswidenwithshockandthendesiresoblatantitmakesmegroaninanticipation.

Shedoesasdirected,butInoticeherlegsaretrembling,soIstuffapillowunderherhipstoprovide

supportforwhat’sabouttohappenhere.

“Areyoucomfortable?”
“Uh-huh.”Fistingthesheet,sheholdsontight.
Istartathercalves,runningmyhandsupthebacksofherlegs,takingmytimetodrawoutthe

anticipationforbothofus.Herlegsarefinelymuscledandherassaworkofart,bothatestamenttothe
timeshespendsatthegym.AssomeonewhoworksoutasmuchasIdo,Iappreciateotherswhoputinthe
timetokeepfit,nottomentionIappreciatebenefittingfromtheperfectionthatisLauren’ssweetbody.

I’mpracticallydroolingfromthesightofherspreadopenformetodowhateverIwanttoher.But

thenIrememberWayneandwhatheputherthrough.She’sneverconfirmedthathisattackinvolvedsexual
assault,andI’veneverasked.ButIsuspectitdid.

“Lo…”
“Hmm?”
“You’dtellmeifsomethingIdidscaredyouorbroughtbackbadmemories,wouldn’tyou?”
Sheshootsmealookoverhershoulder.“Yeah.”
“Areweokayhere?”
Nodding,shegiftsmewithasmilethatsparksacurioustinglingsensationinmychest,notunlikegas

orheartburnorsomethinginthatfamily.Ihavenoideawhattocallthissensation,butitalsocomeswitha
feelingofcontentmentthathaseludedmeformostofmyadultlife.

Butwiththeall-you-can-eatLaurenbuffetspreadoutbeforeme,Ican’ttakethetimetocontemplate

contentment—orgas.I’vegotbetterthingstodo.Raisingmyhandstohersuppleass,Ispreadhercheeks
wideopen,drawingasharpgaspfromher.Foraminute,Isimplyrevelinthesightofherprettypink
flesh,moistwithdesireforme.Themostincredibleproprietaryfeelingovertakesme.Sheismine.I
wouldkillanyonewhohurtherandnotgiveathoughttotheconsequences.

I’msofucked,butI’llworryaboutthatlater.Rightnow,Ihavemuchbetterthingstodothanthink

aboutconsequences.Holdingheropen,Idiveintohersweetness,lickingfromfronttobackand
everywhereinbetween.

Shegoeswild,pressingherassagainstmyfacewiththekindofdesperationIcertainlyunderstand.

I’malreadysohard—again—thatIworrythatmyskinwillburstfromtryingtocontainthedesirethat
pumpsthroughmelikeanextraheartbeat.Thisisabsolutemadness,andIcan’tgetenoughofher.

IgoatheruntilIcantellshe’sonthevergeofrelease,andthenIpushinsideheragain,triggeringher

orgasm.Bitingmylip—hard—ItrytoholdoffuntilIcangetherthereagainandsomehowmanagetohang
ontomycontrol,butjustbarely.That,too,isunprecedented.Usuallyaftertheedgeistakenoffthefirst
time,I’mlikeafuckingmachine,butnotwithLauren.

Graspingherhips,Ipumpintoher,lovinghergaspsandmoansandthewaysheclingstothe

comforterasifit’saliferinginawildsea.IlovethewayherassjiggleseversoslightlyeverytimeI
bottomout,andIabsolutelyadorethewayhertightpussyclampsaroundmycock.Icoulddothisall
fuckingdayandnevergettiredofthewayitfeelstobeinsideher.Infact,itmightbetheverybestfeeling
I’veeverexperienced.

Isoakmyfingersinherslicknessandpressthemagainstheranus.
Shebucksfromtheunexpectedpressure,butI’mreadyforherwithmyotherarmtightaroundher

waist.

“Letmein,sweetheart.”
Shemoansandpressesbackagainstmyfingers,herfleshyieldingtoallowmein.Fuckinghell…

She’ssohotandsotight,moresonowwithmyfingersinherass.

Thensheimplodes.There’snootherwordtodescribetheorgasmthatblaststhroughher.Sheclamps

downonmycockandfingers,herreleasetriggeringmine,becausethere’snowayIcanholdbackwith
hermusclessqueezingmesotightly.MymindgoescompletelyblankasIunloadinher.There’reno
worriesaboutmycompany,myfamily,myfutureoranythingelse.Ihaveonlythecapacitytothinkabout
herandthisandus.Beingwithherthiswayisliketakingavacationfrommylifewithouteverleavingmy
ownbed.

I

CHAPTERSEVEN

withdrawfromherslowlyandcarefully,makinghergroanfromthepressureasIremovemyfingers.
Onshakylegs,Igointothebathroomtowashupandbringbackawarmwashclothtotendtoher.

She’sfacedownonmybed,andmygazeisimmediatelydrawntotheredfingermarksI’veleftonher
hips.She’sgoingtohavebruisesbecauseofme,andIfeelbadaboutthat.

“Turnoverandletmeseeyourgorgeousface.”
“Ican’tmove.”
“Letmehelp.”Irollheroverandbrushthehairbackfromherface.“Hithere.”
Shelooksaway.“Hi.”
“What’swrong?”
“Nothing.”
“Thenwhycan’tyoulookatme?”
“I’membarrassed.”
“Becauseofwhatwedid?”
Shebitesherlipandnods.
“Lookatme.”
“Ican’t.”
Laughingsoftly,Icajoleherwithmyfingerscaressingherface.“Please?”
Slowly,shebringshergazetomeetmine,hercheeksflushinginanadorablysweetblush.
“Thereyouare.Whyareyouembarrassedbywhatwedid?”
“I…Ihaven’tdonethatbefore.”
“Whichpart?Thedoggieortheanal?”
AndI’velostheragain.Hereyesarebackonthefarwallofmybedroomratherthanonme.

“Lauren,”Isayinasingsongvoice.“Comeon,talktome.”Ikissthedeliciouscolumnofherneckand
bitedownonherearlobe.

Shejolts,whichmakeshertitsbounce,andIcan’tbelievethestirringthatoccursinmygroin.This

can’tbehealthy,andyetitfeelslikethehealthiestthingI’vedoneformyselfinyears.Graspingherleg,I
encouragehertoopentomesoIcancleanherup.Sheallowsit,butherblushdeepens,andI’mintensely
charmedbyherembarrassment.

ButIcan’tletherpullawayfrommenow.Thatsimplyisn’tgoingtohappen.AfterIfinishtendingto

her,Icrawlintobedwithheranddrawherintomyembrace,settlingherheadonmychest.“I’mnot
makingyoulookatme,sonowyoucantellmewhatpartofthatembarrassedyou.”

“Itwasn’twhatwedidsomuchastheintensity.Thatwas…Ihaven’t…Notlikethat.”
“Meeither,sweetheart.”Aswetalk,Irunmyfingersthroughherhair.“It’sneverbeenlikethatfor

me.”

“Areyoufreakedout,too?”
“Littlebit.”
“Thatmakesmefeelbetter.”
“Willyoudosomethingforme?”
“Afterthemostspectacularorgasmsofmylife,youcouldprettymuchaskmeforanything.”
Igruntoutalaughatherbluntness.“Willyoutalktomeaboutwhatyou’rethinkingandfeeling?We

bothsaidthatourfriendshipisthemostimportantthing,andtoprotectthat,wehavetotalkitout.”

“I’mnotusedtothat.MostoftheguysI’vebeenwitharemoreaboutthewham,bam,thankyou,

ma’am,thantheyareaboutcommunicating.”

“I’vebeenguiltyofthatmyselfinthepast,butthisistooimportanttobothofustogetawaywiththat

thistime.Youknow?”

“Yeah,”shesayswithadeepsigh.“Iknow.”
“Sowhatpartembarrassedyou?Thedoggieortheanal?”Ireallywant—andneed—theanswerto

thatquestion.

“The,um…Theanal.Ihaven’tdoneanythingtherebefore.”
“Didyoulikeit?”
“Ah,yeah…Youcouldn’ttell?”
“Icouldtell,”Ireplysmugly,earninganelbowtotheribsthatmakesmegaspwithlaughter.
“It’snotfunny.I’magoodgirl.Idon’tdoanal.”
Herprimtoneonlymakesmelaughharder.“Hatetobetheonetobreakittoyou,darlin’,butyoujust

didanal.”

“Ifyoukeeplaughingatme,that’llbethelasttimeIeverdoit.”
Isomehowmanagetocurbmylaughter,butitisn’teasy.She’ssodamnedcutewhenshetriestobe

propershortlyafterclawingatmycomforterwhileIfuckedherandfingeredherass.Ican’teventhink
aboutthevisionofherbentbeforeme,mycockstretchingherpussyandmyfingersinherass.Iforcethe
visualfrommymindbecauseIknowsheneedsabreakintheactionafterthemorningwe’vealreadyput
in.

“Doesthatmeanyou’ddoitagain?”Iaskafteraperiodofsilence.
“Maybe.”
“Wouldyouconsidermorethanjustmyfingers?”
Shegroans,andthesoundgoesstraighttomyballs,probablybecauseherlegispressedupagainst

them.“You’dcripplemewiththisthing.”Foremphasis,shesqueezesmycock,andInearlylaunchoffthe
bed.

“Alittlewarningbeforeyougrabholdofmystickshiftwouldbenice.”
Shelosesitlaughing,andIfindmyselffalling,asifI’vesteppedoffacliffintotheunknown.The

sensationissodizzyingthatittakesmybreathaway.

“AndP.S.,”Isay,tryingtoshakeofftheoddfeeling,“Iwouldn’tcrippleyou.Ibetyou’dloveitso

muchyou’dbebeggingmetofuckyourassagain.”

“I’dtakethatbetifitdidn’tmeanhavingtotakethis…”Shesqueezesmeagain.“There.”BeforeIcan

formulatetheproperresponse,shecontinues.“AlthoughifHoneycandoitwithBlakeandhismassive
thingwithoutbeingcrippled,Isupposeanythingispossible.”

Ichokeonmyownspit.ThatwaswaymoreinformationthanIeverwantedaboutourfriends,

especiallythepartaboutBlake’s“massivething.”

“Youcan’teverletonthatItoldyouthat!”
I’mstillcoughingratherinelegantly,butIholdupmyhandtostopherfromfreakingout.“Yoursecret

issafewithme.”

“Shewouldkillmeforblurtingthatout.”
“Ican’tbelieveyouguystalkaboutstufflikethat.”
“Ofcoursewedo,”shesays,asifthat’sthemostridiculousthingI’veeversaidtoher,andI’vesaida

lotofridiculousthingstoherovertheyears.“Likeyouguysdon’ttalk,too.”

“Um,fortherecord,BlakeandIhavenevertalkedaboutwhetherheandhiswifedoanal.Infact,

we’venevertalkedaboutanythingtheydointhebedroom.”

“Like…nothing?”
“Nothing.”
“Wow,that’skindasurprising.Ithoughtyouguystalkedaboutitthewaywedo.”
“Nope,andthat’sjustoneofmanywaysmeandmyboysaremaligned.”Itweakhernose.“It’syou

girlswhodoallthekissingandtelling,notus.”

“Whateveryousay,stud.”Herstomachletsoutaloudgrowlthathasherblushingonceagain.“That

wasladylike.”

“Myladyishungry.ImustfeedhersoIcanravishhersomemore.Letmeup,woman.”Ikissheron

mywayoutofbedtoseetobreakfast.We’rebothgoingtoneedsomefueltogetthroughthisday.

Byfiveo’clockthatafternoon,we’reexhaustedandsatedandthoroughlyandcompletelyfuckedinmore
waysthanone.I’maddictedtoeverythingabouthavingsexwithLauren.Thatonetasteledtoanotherand
anotherandanother.I’venevergorgedonanywomanthewayIhaveonhertoday.

Andthisdaylongfuckfestisnowherenearenough.That’sthepartthathasmefreakedoutthemost.

Withherwarmandsoftandcurledupinmyarms,Istillwanther,whichisjustanotherinalonglineof
surprises.Usually,I’maone-and-donekindofguy.Attimes,I’vethoughtthatIhavesexualADDbecause
womendon’tholdmyattention.Ienjoythem,Itreatthemrightwhilewe’retogether,andthenImoveon.I
rarelyevergivethemanotherthoughtafterwe’vebothgottenwhatwewantedfromaliaison.

This,withLauren,iscompletelydifferent,mostlybecauseI’mmoreintriguedbyherafterwehadsex

thanIwasbefore.Andthatismostdefinitelyafirst.Iknowthatmightmakemesoundlikeadick,butI’ve
alwaysbeenrespectfulandforthrightinmydealingswithwomen.IletthemknowwhatIwant—andwhat
Idon’t.Nooneiseverhurtorleftwonderingwhathappenedwithme.That’snothowIroll.

Now,I’mworriedaboutdoingactualdamagetoawomanforthefirsttimeinmylife.Whatwill

LaurenthinkwhenshefindsoutI’mmakingplanstoleavetown?Willshebedisappointedorhurtor
worse?ThepossibilityofthatgnawsatmeandmakesmefeelanxiouswhenIshouldbeasrelaxedas
I’vebeeninyears.

LaurenandIarewatchingamovieinmybedbecauseshe’slegitimatelyafraidshewon’tbeableto

walktomorrowifwedon’tquitwhilewe’reahead.Thechickflickshechosedoesn’tholdmyinterest
andgivesmefartoomuchtimetothinkaboutwhatthehellI’mgoingtodoabouttheplansI’vebeen
makingformyselfnowthatI’veexperiencedtheexquisitepleasureofmakinglovetoLauren.

WhenIcheckedmyemailearliertoapprovethepayrolltheofficesentover,Ialsoreadanemailfrom

myheadhunter,whoforwardedagushingmessagefromthecompanyI’mmeetingwithonSaturdayabout
howexcitedtheyaretohavemeintotalk.They’reputtingmeupinasuiteattheFourSeasonsandtold
metobringmywifeorgirlfriendifI’dlike.Theyevenmentionedaspaatthehotelthatwouldbemade

availabletomyguest.Laurenwouldlovethat.

AsIstrokeherarmabsently,Istarttoaskifshewantstocome,butsomethingstopsmefromsaying

thewordsthatareonthetipofmytongue.Instead,somethingelseentirelycomesout.“Haveweproven
beyondareasonabledoubttodaythatthereisnothingwrongwithyouwhenitcomestosex?”

“Ibelievewehave.”
“Sonomorethinkingthere’sanythingaboutyouthatisn’tperfect,youhearme?”
“Ihearyou.”Shelooksupatme,hereyessoftwithemotion.“Thankyou,Garrett.”
“Itwasatoughjob,butsomeonehadtodoit.”
Shelaughs,asIhopedshewould,andreturnsherattentiontothemovie.
InearlylaunchoutofbedwhenIhearthealarmsystemchimetoindicatesomeonehascomeintothe

house.Andsinceonlyoneotherpersonhasthekeytomyhouse,Iknowexactlywhoitis.Ihastilypullon
apairofsweatsandtellLaurentostayput.

“Whoisit?”sheasks.
“Mymother.”
“Ohhh.”
“I’llberightback.”Ileavethebedroom,closingthedoorbehindmeandgointothekitchen,where

mymotherisstirringapotonthestove.

“Thereyouare.Tanyacalledtotellmeyou’vegotthestomachbug.Ibroughtyouchickensoupand

Ritzcrackers.Rememberhowmuchyoulovedthemwhenyouwerelittle?You’dgothroughastackaday.
Andthere’sgingeraleinthefridgeandstrawberryJell-O.Allyourfavorites.”

ThoughIwanttobeannoyedbyher—andatTanya,forChrist’ssake—forbargingintomyhouse

withoutcallingfirst,howcanIbewhenshejustwantstotakecareofme?“Thanks,Mom.”

“Areyoufeelingbetter?”Shetakesacloselookatmeandreachesuptofeelmyforehead.“You’rea

littlewarm.Haveyoutakensomethingforthefever?”

“I’mmuchbetter,butyoushouldn’tbreathetheairaroundherejustincaseit’scontagious.Youdon’t

wanttogetsickortakeithometoColbyorSierra.”

“They’rebulletproofwhenitcomestogerms.Theynevergetsick,andneitherdoI.Doyouwantme

tositwithyouwhileyoueat?”

“Youdon’thaveto.I’mnotreallyreadyforfoodyet.”
“Mypoorbaby.Alwaystakingcareofeveryoneelse.Iwasgladtohavetheopportunitytodo

somethingforyouforachange.”Shereachesuptosmoothmyhairandpatsmycheek.

Awordaboutmymomhere—she’sdrop-deadgorgeousandalwayshasbeen.Shehaslongdarkhair

andflawlessbrownskinthatcomesrightfromhermother,whowasMexican.Mysisters,ColbyandI
sharehercoloring,whileTommyfavorsourdad,whowasEnglishandScottish.Tomyknowledge,my
momhasn’tsomuchastalkedtoanothermansincemyfatherdied,letalonedated.Herdarkbrowneyes
aresoftwithmaternalconcernasshelooksmeover.“What’sthatonyourneck?”

“What?”
Shepointstothespot.“That.”
Igotothemicrowavetocheckmyreflectionintheglassdoor.Sonofafuckingbitch.Ihaveabite

markonmyneck.“Idon’tknow.”Ifeellikeateenagerwhojustgotbustedbyhismotherforhavinga
hickey.

Shefoldsherarmsandsizesmeup.Afterraisingfourchildren,she’snobody’sfool.“Whoisshe?”
“Mom…”
“Areyoureallysickorfakingit?”
Immediatelyflusteredbythewayshehomesinonthetruthofthematter,Isticktomystory.“I’msick.

AndI’magrownman,andthisismyhouse.Idon’thavetoanswertoyou.”

“Watchyourmouthwithme,GarrettMcKinley.”

“Idon’tmeananydisrespect.Youknowthat.ButI’mnotupforagrillingaboutmypersonallife.Not

tonight.”MyemotionsarealreadyallovertheplaceafterthedayI’vespentwithLauren.Idon’thavethe
fortitudetodealwithmymother’squestionsontopofthat.

“Fairenough.”
Ikisshercheek.“Thankyouforthesoupandeverything.”
“You’rewelcome.”
AsIwalkhertothedoor,Iask,“DidBlakefixthetoilet?”
“Hedid.He’ssuchasweetboy,andHoneyisthemostadorablepregnantwomanI’veeverseen.”
“Shereallyiscute.”
“I’llbesurprisedifshemakesitpasttheweekend.”
“They’resoreadyforthatbabytogethere.”
Atthedoor,mymomstopsandturnstome,placingahandonmychestasshelooksupatme.“That’s

allIwantforyou.Whattheyhave.Atsomepoint,you’regoingtowanttosettledownandhaveafamily
ofyourown,Garrett.”

No,Iwanttosay,that’saboutthelastthingIwantafterbeingresponsibleforyourfamilyforthelast

sixyears.ButIdon’tsaythat.I’dneversaythattoher.“Ihearyou,Mom.Whenthetimeisright.”

Shegoesupontiptoestokissme.“Takecare,honey.”
“Thanksagain.”
Forafewminutesaftersheleaves,Ikeepmyforeheadpressedtothebackofthedoor,tryingto

collectmythoughtssoIcangobacktoLaurenwithmyheadscrewedonstraight.

“Everythingallright?”Laurenasksfromthedoorwaytomybedroom.
Iturntofindherwearingonlymydiscardeddressshirtbuttonedonceinthemiddleofherbreasts.

Herlong,tonedlegsareonfulldisplay,alongwithherbarepussy,andmymouthwatersatthesightof
her.

“Garrett?”
“Yeah,I’mfine.”
“Whatdidyourmomwant?”
“ShebroughtmechickensoupandRitzcrackers.”
“Rememberhowyouusedtoeatthemnonstopinhighschool?”
Herquestionisareminderofhowfarbackwego,howwellweknoweachother,howmuchisat

stake.“Iremember—andsodoesshe.Youwantsomesoup?”

“Iwouldn’tsaynotothat.”
IscooptheheartysoupintobowlsandtakeasleeveofcrackersfromtheboxtosharewithLauren.
“OhmyGod,thisisgood,”Laurensays.
Mymomisanamazingcook,andalmosteverythingshemakes,evenchickensoup,bearsahintofher

mother’snativeMexico.I’veyettohavebetterTex-Mexanywherethanwhatwegotathomegrowingup.

“Shenoticedthehickeyyougaveme.”
Lauren’sspoonfreezeshalfwaytohermouth.“Whathickey?”
Ipointtomyneck.
Shegasps.“Ohcrap.Whatdidshesay?”
“Sheaskedmewho’dbeenbitingmyneck,soItoldherthatsweetlittleLaurenDaviesgrewuptobe

ahellcatinbed.”

“Youdidnotsaythat.”Thewordscomeoutinonelongbreath.
Ilaughmyassoffatthelookofhorroronherface.“No,Ididn’tsaythat.”
“Damnit,Garrett!That’snotfunny!”
“Yes,itreallyis.”Ican’tstoplaughingatherindignation.
“YouknowhowmuchI’vealwayslovedyourmom.Shewassogoodtomewhenwewereyounger

andmymomwas…well,notaroundorbombedoutofhermind.Sheeventookmepromdressshopping
andpaidformydress.Doyourememberthat?”

“Yeah,Ido.”ThereminderofLaurengrowingupwithamotherwhowasaviolentalcoholicsobers

me.WeallbelieveshemarriedWaynemoretoescapetheongoingdramawithhermotherthanbecause
shelovedhim.I’vewonderedsomanytimeswhatmight’vebeendifferentifI’dsteppedupforherin
somewaybeforehedid.ButIwasincollegebythetimethatwentdownandunderthemisguided
assumptionthatthere’dbeachanceforuslater.

BythetimeIcamehome,she’dbeenmarriedayearalready,andthehandwritingwasonthewallthat

she’dtradedoneawfulsituationforanother.

WefinisheatinginsilenceanddothedishestogetherbecauseIknowshewon’tletthemsitinthesink

overnightthewayIwouldhave.Whenwe’redone,Iturntoherandtuckastraystrandofhairbehindher
earbeforetracingthefragileshellofherear,myfingerbumpingoverthearrayofstudsthatlineherear.
Sheissostrikinglybeautifulinafragilesortofwaythatkeepsmeonguardagainstthingsthatcouldever
hurther.

“Whatdoyouwanttodonow?”Iaskher,myhandsonhershoulders.
“IshouldprobablygohomebeforeIoutstaymywelcome.”
I’mstunnedthatshewouldworryaboutsuchathing,andI’msuddenlydesperatetokeepherfrom

leaving.“That’snotpossible.”

“Icamefordinnerlastnightandneverleft,”shesays,smilingupatme.
“Doyouseemecomplaining?”Idropmyhandstoherwaistanddrawherintomyembrace.Idon’t

evencarethatshecanfeelthatI’mhardforheragain.“Staywithmetonight.I’llgetyoutotheshopfor
theflowerdeliveryinthemorning.”Ikissherforehead.“Ipromise.”

“Areyousureyouaren’ttiredofme?”
Irubmyhardcockagainsthersoftbelly.“I’mverysure.”

I

CHAPTEREIGHT

t’sstilldarkwhenthealarmgoesoffinthemorning.IwakedisorientedanduncertainofwhereIam
untilIfeelGarrett’sarmaroundmeandhiswarmnakedbodypressedupagainstmyback.Noneofthe

anxietythatusuallyplaguesmeatnightshowedupwhileIwasinhisbed,allowingmetosleepbetter
thanIhaveinalongtime.

IfeelbadthatIhavetodraghimoutofhiswarmbedsoearly,butIcan’taskMegantodotheflower

pickuptwodaysinarow.Itrytoeasemywayoutofhisembracetogograbaquickshower,buthe
tightenshisholdonme.

“Notyet,”hemuttersinagruff,sleepyvoice.
“Ihavetogettotheshop.Don’tforget.Youpromised.”
Hegroansandletsmego,rubbinghishandsoverhisfacebeforehejumpsoutofbedwithmore

energythanheshouldhaveatthisungodlyhour.Theearlywakeupsaretheonlypartofowning
BloomsburythatIdon’tlove.Otherwise,theshophasbeenoneofthebestthingsI’veeverdone.About
fouryearsago,Iusedthesmallbequestfrommylategrandmothertopaythefirstsixmonthsofrentonthe
storefrontwiththeideathatiftheshopdidn’ttakeoff,allI’dbeoutwassixmonthsofrentandalotof
hardwork.

TheshoptookoffinwaysInevercould’veexpected,withmanyofthelocalhotelsandrestaurants

placingdailyordersthatkeepmegoing,inadditiontothecashcowsofValentine’sDay,Easter,
weddings,funerals,promsandothereventsthatprovideasteadyflowofbusinessthroughmysweetlittle
shop.

InearlylosteverythinglastyearwhenawatermainbrokeonHighland,floodingoutthestreetand

mostofthebusinesses.OnlythequickactionofBlakeandGarrettandmyotherfriendssavedmybusiness
fromdisaster.Ican’teventhinkaboutthatdaywithoutfeelingsickoverwhatalmosthappened.Thank
Godforgoodfriends.

“I’mgoingtograbaquickshower,”Itellhim.
“MindifIjoinyou?”
“Ofcoursenot.”Afterwhatwedidalldayyesterdayandthenagainlastnightafterwewenttobed,

I’msurprisedIcanstillwalktoday.Thenhesuggestsweshowertogether,andmybodylightsupwith
desire,asifIhaven’thadmoresexinthelasttwenty-fourhoursthanIhadintheentiretimeIwasmarried

toWayne.

Ugh,whywouldIevercompareGarretttohiminanyway?Thereis,simply,nocomparison.
Ifollowhimintotheshowerandputmyarmsaroundhimfrombehind,restingmyfaceagainsthis

back.

Hestiffenswithsurprisebutthenrelaxesabit.
“Thankyou.”Thetwolittlewordsseemsoinadequateinlightoftheboostmyself-confidencehas

receivedthankstohim.

“Itmostdefinitelywasmypleasuretoserviceyou,”heteasesashecoversthehandsI’veplacedon

hisabdomenwithhisownhands.“Wecan’thaveyouwalkingaroundthinkingthatyou’reanythingother
thanperfectandsexyanddesirableandwonderful.”Heturnstofaceme,andI’mcaughtoffguardbythe
intensewayhelooksatme.Hishandsframemyface,forcingmetogazeupathim,notthatit’sahardship.
He’sevenmorehandsomeinthemorning,withhisjawcoveredindarkstubbleandhishairstandingon
end.“Don’teverletanyonemakeyoufeellikeyou’reanythinglessthanamazing,Lo.”

“I’lltrynotto.”Iwonderifhe’sgivingmethisadvicebeforewegobacktobeingjustfriends,orif

therewillbemoreofwhatwe’vesharedwhilelockedawayinhishometogether.DoIwantmorethan
justfriendshipwithhim?IthinkmaybeIdo,butI’msoconfusedrightnow.Ihavenoideawhathewants,
andIcan’tbringmyselftoaskhim.IneedHoney.She’llknowwhatIshoulddo.

Hewashesmyhair,andthenIreturnthefavor.Thenhewashesmewiththebodywashthatsmellslike

him.He’sverythorough,leavingnopartofmeuntouched.Bythetimehe’sfinished,I’mpantingwith
desireformoreofhim,basicallyansweringmyownquestion.

Apparently,hefeelsthesameway,becauseheliftsmeintohisarmsandpressesmybackagainstthe

coolshowerwall.

“Areyoutoosoreformore?”heasksinthatgruff,sexytonethat’squicklybecomeoneofmyfavorite

newdiscoveriesabouthim.

“Probably.”
Hepresseshishardcockagainstmycore,carefullybutintently,lettingmeknowwhathewantsas

muchasIdo.

“ButI’mwillingtotryifyouare.”I’mgoingtobelatefortheflowers,andIcan’tbringmyselfto

care.

“I’mmorethanwilling,”hesayswithadirtygrinthatmakesmelaugh.
God,he’ssofreakingsexywhenhe’sunshavenanddisheveledfromsleep.IrealizeI’veneverseen

himthisway.He’salwayssoputtogether,soprofessionalandwellgroomed.IlovethatI’mgettingtosee
thissideofhim.

Heentersmeslowlyandcarefully.
I’mnotgoingtolie.Ithurts.Alot.SoIclingtohimandgritmyteeththroughthepain,whichsubsides

afterafewminutesofpatienceonhispart.Bythetimehe’sfullyseatedinsideme,I’malreadyonthe
vergeofexplosiverelease.

Hegripsmyassandbeginstoretreatbeforedivingbackinandtriggeringanorgasmthatripsthrough

melikeatsunami,leavingnopartofmeunaffectedbythepowerofit.

“Fuckinghell,”hemutters,hislipsagainstmynecksettingoffaftershocks.“Thatwassohot.”
Ashepicksupthepace,IrealizeI’mtheonlyonewhocame.DearGod,he’sgoingtocrippleme,but

whatawaytogo.Witheverydeepthrust,heruinsmeforallothermen.I’mquiteconvincedthatnoone
elsecouldmakemefeelassafeandastreasuredandassexyasGarrettdoes.Iwantmoreofhim.Iwant
somuchmore.Iwanttofeelthiswayeverydayfortherestofmylife.Iwanttobewithhimasfriends
andloversandlifepartners.Iwanteverything.

Therealizations,comingoneontopoftheother,havemereelingfromtheemotionalwallop.
GarrettcontinuestofuckmewiththekindofabandonIsuspectherarelyallowshimself.“Iwishwe

coulddothisalldayagaintoday,”hesaysharshly,hisfingersdiggingintothedensefleshofmyassashe
hashiswickedwaywithme.

Pinnedagainstthewall,I’mabsolutelypowerlesstodoanythingbuttakeeverydeepstroke,andI

lovebeingpowerlesswithhim.Knowinghewoulddoanythingformebeforeweeversteppedfootintoa
bedroomtogethermakesitpossibleformetoletgo,too,togivemyselfcompletelytohim.

“Ah,God,Lauren…”Hisentirebodygoestautinthesecondsbeforehecomesdeepinsideme.
Iwrapmyarmsaroundhisneckandholdonfordearlifetothemanwhohasbeenmyrockforsucha

longtime.SomehowIhavetofindawaytotellhimthatIwantthistobethebeginningofthenextphase
forus—thephaseinwhichwelivehappilyeveraftertogether.

Ashisbodytremblesintheaftermathofhisrelease,IfeelconfidentthathewantsthesamethingsIdo.

Afterthisincredibletimetogether,Ican’timagineeitherofuswithanyoneelse.I’mgoingtotalkitout
withHoney,andthentonight,I’lltalkitoutwithhim.Thishastobeanewbeginningforus,nottheend.

Ididn’tplantomakelovetoheragainintheshower,butweknowwhat’sbecomeofmyplanssincethe
roguewarriortookovermyprogram,whichhasbeenblowntosmithereens.Shredded.Dismantled.
Absolutelynothinghasgoneaccordingtomycarefullycraftedplan.Buttheoutcomehasexceededmy
wildestexpectations.

Laurennowknowswithoutashadowofadoubtthatthere’snothingwrongwithherperformancein

thebedroom.Infact,ifherperformancehadbeenanymoreoutstanding,Iwouldn’tbeabletowalktoday.
Asitis,I’llprobablyhaveaslightlimpfromtheacheinmygroin.I’llneverforgettheimageofher
straddlingmyfacelastnightandthenbendingforwardtosuckmycockwhileIlickedherpussy.Itwas
fuckingamazing,butifIallowmyselftothinkaboutthat,I’llbehardagaininnotime.

Ihavetogotoworktoday.That’snonnegotiable.Withthatinmind,Itakethetimetoshaveinthe

showerwhileLaurengoestogetdressed.Shereturnstothebathroomtobrushherhair,andwithmyeyes
drawntoherratherthanthemirror,Islicemychinwideopen.“Fuck!”

“What?”
“Cutmyselfshaving.”
“Ouch.Areyouokay?”
“Yeah.”Butthebleedingisprofuse,andthemetaphorisn’tlostonme—takeyoureyeoffthegameand

endupbleeding.WhenIstepoutoftheshower,Laurenistherewithfirstaidsuppliesshemust’ve
unearthedfromthebathroomcloset.Shepressesgauzetomychinandappliespressureuntilthebleeding
slows.Thenshedabsantibioticointmentonthecut.

Assheworks,sherollsherbottomlipbetweenherteethandisintentonhertask.“Ithinkyou’regoing

tolive,”shesays,smilingupatme.

I’mcompletelydazzledbythesmile,bythepleasureofhavingherherewithmeasIstartmyday,by

thewayshetookcareofmeand…She’slovelytolookat.Sofuckinglovely.

“Garrett?Why’reyoustaringatme?”
“You’reveryprettyinthemorning.Allthetime,butIlikehowyoulookinthemorning.”
Shewrinkleshernose.“Ihaven’tevenputonmascarayet.”

“Youdon’tneedit.”Ikisshernoseandgointomycloset,locatedoffthebathroom,togetdressedin

myusualworkuniformofdresspantsandastarchedshirt.Mostdays,Idon’tbotherwithatie,butwith
back-to-backclientmeetingstoday,Iputonatie.

WhenIemerge,Laurenisseatedonthecountertop,legscrossed,doingsomethingwithanailfile.My

gazerunsthelengthofherleg,fromthetipsofhercoral-coloredtoestothefirm,tonedcalvestothehem
ofthedresssheworeforourdinnertheothernight,whichlandsaboveherknee.Rememberingsheleftthe
pantiesathome,IhavetolookawayorI’llbesidetrackedonceagain.

“Ready?”
“Uh-huh.”Shejumpsdownfromthecounterandslidesherfeetintothosesexyfuck-meheels.
Weleavemyhouseanddriveintotown.Ratherthantakingherhome,IheadforhershoponHighland.
“Where’rewegoing?”
“Totheshop.IthoughtIcouldhelpyouwiththeflowersbeforeItakeyouhome.”
“Oh,thanks,butyoudon’thavetodothat.”
“Idon’tmind.”Iparkbehindtheshop,andweworktogethertobringinthebucketsofflowersthat

havebeenleftinthealleybehindthestore.It’sdarkanddesolate.“I’mnotsurehowIfeelaboutyou
doingthisbyyourselfeverymorning.”

“What?Why?”
“It’snotsafe.”
“Sureitis.Ineverfeelunsafehere.It’smyhappyplace.”
Ibitemytongue,becauseIcertainlydon’twanttoplantfearinhermind,butImakeanotetogether

somemaceorpepperspraysoshecandefendherselfifneedbe.Thethoughtofbeingmorethansixhours
awayinAustinandsomethinghappeningtohermakesmefeelqueasy.I’llensureshe’ssafebeforeIgo.

Westashthebucketsofflowersinthecoolerandlockuptheshop.Onthewaytoherhouse,wepass

thelocaldoughnutshop,whichisoneofthefewbusinessesopenatthishour.

Ipullintothedrive-through.
“What’reyouupto?”sheasks,smiling.
“Breakfast.Whatdoyoufeellike?”
“Ifwe’resplurging,I’llhaveacinnamonsugar.”
Iorderfourdoughnutsandtwocoffeeswithcream,handingthebagandbeveragecarriertoher.
“Mymouthisofficiallywatering,”shesays,sniffingtheairinthecarthatisnowfullofthescentof

hotdoughnuts.

Ipullintoherdrivewayafewminuteslater,takethecoffeefromherandfollowherintothehouse,

planningtoeatandheadtowork.NomatterhowdeliciousLaurenmightbe,Ican’ttouchheragainorI’m
apttoloseanotherdayofwork.That’showtemptingsheistome.

Wesitatthebarinherkitchentoeatourdoughnutsanddrinkourcoffee.
“So,so,sogood,”shesays,sighing.“IallowmyselfonepermonthorI’dbeninehundredpounds.”
I’mtransfixedbythesightofsugaronherlipsandtheblissed-outexpressiononherface.Without

thinkingaboutwhatI’mdoing,Ileanintokissthosesugarylips.She’ssodamnedsweet,andthenshe
smilesatme,andIagainexperiencethatcuriousfeelinginsidethathasmerubbingtheachingspotonmy
chest.

Ilinkmyfingerswithhers.“Ihavetogettowork.”
“Ido,too.”Butshedoesn’tletgoofmyhand.
Igiveahalfheartedtug,andshetightenshergrip.Smiling,Isay,“Ihadthebesttime.”
“Idid,too.Thankyouforallofit—thelobster,thechampagne,theorgasms,thebadlyneededboostto

myself-confidence.”

“You’reabsolutelyperfect.Don’tyoudareeverthinkotherwise.”
“I’lltrynotto.”Shelooksupatme,madlyvulnerable.“WillIseeyoulater?”

“I…I’mnotsure.Ineedtohitthegymafterwork.”
“Youmightseemethere.”
Thatwouldn’tbeunusual.Weoftenworkouttogetherattheendoftheworkday.Whatwouldbe

unusualisbeingtheretogetherunderournewstatusasfriendswhohavefucked.Alot.

Igiveherasoft,lingeringkissanddrawbackfromher.Disengagingisforthebest,orsoItellmyself.

“Haveagoodday.”

“You,too.”
AsIdrivetheshortdistancetomyoffice,thefeelingthatI’veleftsomethingimportantbehind

overwhelmsme.Thefeelingstayswithmethroughoutmymorningmeetings,inwhichI’msodistracted
that,morethanonce,Ilosethethreadofconversationandhavetoscrambletocatchupbeforetheclients
realizeI’vecheckedout.

ThefeelingintensifieswhenItakeacallfrommypotentialemployerinAustinwhoiseagerto

finalizetheplansforSaturday’smeeting.Marilyn,theCEO’sexecutiveassistant,walksmethroughthe
schedulefortheday.

“Willyoubebringingaguest?”sheasks.
“I…”WillIbebringingaguest?Ineedtothinkaboutthis.“CouldIletyouknowthattomorrow?”
“Ofcourse.Notaproblem.I’vesentyoutheconfirmationforyoursuiteattheFourSeasons.You’re

bookedforFridayandSaturdaynights,butpleaseletmeknowifyou’dliketoaddSunday,atour
expense,ofcourse.”

“That’sveryniceofyou,thankyou.I’llletyouknow.”
“Perfect.We’resolookingforwardtomeetingyou.Mr.Duttonisthrilledthatyou’veagreedtocome

in.”

IrubatmychestwherethatacheIexperiencedearlierhasintensified.I’mreallydoingthis.I’m

actuallymakingplanstoleaveMarfaandpickupmylifewhereitleftoffsixlongyearsago.“Tellhim
I’mlookingforwardtomeetinghim,andpleasepassalongmythanksfortheVIPtreatment.”

“Ourpleasure.ThedriverwillmeetyouatthehotelonSaturdaymorningatnine.”
“I’llbeready.”
LongafterIendthecall,Isitbehindmydesk,staringoffintospace,mybrainworkingovertimetrying

toprocesseverythingthat’shappenedinthelastweek.IwentfromyearsofsimmerwithLaurentofull-on
boil.I’vegonefromworkingwithaheadhunterforayeartoanhonest-to-goodnesshotleadonthekindof
jobI’vealwayswanted.

TheconvergenceofthosetwothingshasmemoremixedupthanI’vebeeninyears,sincemyfather

diedandIwasforcedtoabandonmyownplanssoIcouldpickupthebatonformyfamily.

Aknockonthedoordragsmeoutofthecontemplation,butIcontinuetorubattheacheinmychest,

wonderingifIhaveheartburnorpossiblysomethingworse.Withmyfatherdroppingdeadofaheart
attackatfifty-two,mythoughtslingeronthesecondpossibility,whichofcoursetotallyfreaksmeout.

“Yeah,comein,”Icalltothepersonwhoknocked.
Mysecond-in-command,Dennis,comesin.“Hey,boss,youfeelingbettertoday?”
“Yeah,much.What’sup?”
HecatchesmeuponafewthingsImissedyesterdayand,asusual,impressesmewithhisattentionto

detailandhisconcernaboutpleasingourclients.IfthejobinAustinmaterializes,Idecidetogivehima
bigraiseandhirehimtomanagemyfirminMarfa.

It’sallfallingintoplace,justthewayIalwayshopeditwould.Sowhythehelldoesmychestacheso

badly?

Honeysavesmethetripbydroppingintotheshopwithacoffeeformeandasoylatteforherselfthatshe
complainsabouttheentiretimewe’reenjoyingourbeveragesinmyworkroom.

“Ican’twaittobeabletomainlinecaffeineagain.”Sheputsherswollenfeetupononeoftheempty

chairsatthetablewhereIeatlunchjustabouteveryday.“MaybethenIwon’tfeellikeI’mwading
throughquicksand.”

“Um,youdoknowthatyoucan’tdrinkcaffeinewhenyou’rebreastfeeding,right?”
“Shutyourfilthymouth.Iknow!”
Ilaughatherindignantresponse.
“Screwcaffeine.Youhavealotofexplainingtodo,missy.Startingwiththefactthatyouwentto

dinneratGarrett’stwonightsagoanddidn’tresurfaceuntilthismorning.”

“DidIdothat?”Myfacegoeshotwithembarrassment,whichissilly,really.ThisisHoney,forcrying

outloud.WhatdoIhavetobeembarrassedaboutwithher?Wetelleachothereverything.Caseinpoint
—Iknowthatshe’sdoneanalwithBlakeandlovesit.

“Don’tmakemebeatitoutofyou.ItmightnotlooklikeIcould,butIabsolutelycould—andIwill.”
“Easy,killer.Don’tstrainyourself.I’lltellyouwhathappened.”AndsoIdo.Ispellitoutforher,

includingmostofthedetailsthatIknowshe’llwantwhilekeepingthereallyintimatethingsprivateoutof
respectforGarrett.WhenI’mfinished,I’mshockedtoseetearsrollingdownhercheeks.“What?Whyare
youcrying?”

“I’mjustsodamnedhappyforyouguys.”Sheusesanapkintomopuptheflood.“Thishasbeensuch

alongtimecoming.”

“Don’tstartplanningtheweddingquiteyet.”IhesitatebeforeIsharethethingthat’sbeenweighingon

mesinceheleftearlier.“Ithinkhemightwanttokeepittojustwhat’salreadyhappened.”

“Noway.Yousaiditwasamazing,right?”
“Itwasincredible—forbothofus.”
“He’llbebackformore.Markmywords.”
“Idon’tknow…Hewasweirdthismorning.Noncommittal.”ThatwasthebestwordIcouldthinkof

todescribethefeelinghe’dleftmewithatmyhouse.“Iaskedifhewantedtoworkouttogetherlater,and
hesaidmaybe.Usuallyhesaysdefinitelyorabsolutely.Todayhesaidmaybe.”

“Andyou’rereadingallkindsofthingsintothatoneword.”
“Itwasmorethanthat.Ican’treallyexplainit.”
“Whatwasthelastthinghesaid?”
“Hetoldmetohaveagoodday.”
“Beforethat.”
Ithinkaboutwhatwesaid.“Wetalkedaboutthegym.”
Honeyrollsherhandwithannoyance.“Beforethat.”
“HetoldmetoneverletanyonemakemethinkI’manythinglessthanperfect.”Hourslater,that

sentencestillmakesmybellydropintofreefallwhenIrecallthewayhelookedatmewhenhesaidit,as
ifIamsoveryprecioustohim.

“Hmm,”Honeysays,lookingawayfromme.
“Hmmwhat?Whatdoesthatmean?”
“I’mnotsurewhatitmeans.”

“Soyouagreewithmethatastatementlikethatsoundsmoreliketheendthanthebeginning?”
“Iwouldn’tsaythat,forsure,butIagreeit’snotaslam-dunkthis-is-the-start-of-somethingsortof

statement.”

Isagintomychair.Isuspectedasmuch,buthearingHoneyconfirmithasme…saggy.
“You’regoingtohavetobepatientandseehowitplaysout.ButifIhadtoguess,amanwhohadthe

bestsexofhislifewillbebackformore.”

“Heneversaiditwasthebestsexofhislife.”
“Didn’the,Lo?”sheaskssoftly.“Hekeptyouthereforthirty-sixhours.”
Iwanttolatchontothatlittlekernelofhope,butlifehastaughtmetobecarefulwhatIhopefor.

“AftereverythingwithmymotherandWayne,it’stakenmesuchalongtimetogetbacktofeelinghappy
mostofthetime.I’mafraidtogetmyhopesup.”

“Idon’tblameyouforbeingcautious.Iknowhowharditistobepatientinsituationslikethis.

RememberhowIalmostlostmymindwhenBlakecheckedoutaftertheaccident?Ididn’tknowifhewas
evergoingtocomearound,butIwassureofonlyonething.”

Thereminderoftheawfulaccidenttheywereinlastyearmakesmefeelsick.“What’sthat?”
“Ifhewasevergoingtocomearound,ithadtobeonhisterms.Icouldn’tforceit.Hehadtogetthere

himself.ThesameistrueforGarrett.There’snodoubtthathecaresforyou.Alot.Thequestionbecomes
whetheryouwantthesamethings.”

“Ihavenoideawhathewants.Herarelyevertalksabouthishopesordreamsorthefutureor

anythinglikethat.”

“It’spossiblehehasn’tfeltcapableofhavingdreamsforhimselfwhenhe’sbeensobusyseeingtohis

father’sdreamandmakingsurehisfamilyiscaredfor.”

“That’sagoodpoint.”She’sdefinitelygivenmeplentytochewon.
“TellmeIhavetogobacktoworknow.”
“Honey,getyourfatassoutofmyshopandgobacktowork.”
“Thefat-asspartwasunnecessaryroughness.”Shehaulssaidassoutofthechairwiththegraceofa

waterbuffalo.“Flagontheplay.”

Igiggleatherdramaticdisplayasshelumberstothebackdoor.Thealleybehindmyshopleadstothe

backdoorofhers.Atthedoor,shestopsandturnstome.“YouknowwhereIamifyouneedme,right?
Anytime.Pregnantornot.Inlaborornot.”

Smiling,Isay,“Iknow.Thankyou.”
“Loveyou.”
“Loveyou,too.”Iblowherakissandseeheroutthedoor,watchingheruntilsheducksintothedoor

tothestudio.ThenIclosethebackdoorandslidethelockintoplace.Leaningagainstthedoor,I
contemplatemynextmove.Garrettisnothingifnotacreatureofhabit.Hearrivesatourgymfivenightsa
weekbetweensixfifteenandsixthirty.Whenhegetstheretonight,I’llbewaitingforhim.

Satisfiedtohaveaplan,Igetbacktowork.I’mstillcatchingupfromyesterday,andIneedtogetout

ofhereontime.

I’mdoingbicepscurlswhenBlakecomesintothegym.Inodathimacrossthewide-openroomthat’s
alwaysbusythistimeofday.Heamblesovertojoinme,choosingthefifty-poundweightsandjumping
intomyworkoutalreadyinprogress.

“Howyoufeeling?”heasks,eyeingmewithsuspicionthattellsmeheprobablyknowsthetruthabout

my“illness.”

“Muchbetter.”
“Gladtohearit.Ilookedatyourreportonthespechouses,andyou’vegotmeconvincedtodivein.”
“Youwon’tbesorry.Withtheschoolbeingbuiltoutthere,you’resittingonagoldmine.”
“Iagree.Imadeanofferontheotherfifteenparcelstoday,andtheownerseemedexcited.Hewas

thinkinghe’dbesellingthempiecemeal,sofifteenatoncewasunexpected.”

“He’llprobablygiveyouadealforthequantity.”
“That’swhatmybrokersaid,too.”
“Congratulations.”
“Thanks,Ithink.RemindmewhyIthoughtthiswassuchagoodideasixmonthsfromnowwhenI’m

losingmymindatworkandathome.”

“You’llbefine.Ihavecontactingrecruitersforyouonmyto-dolistfortomorrow.”
“Youmightbeabletoscratchthatoffthelist.”
“Really?Whathappened?”
“It’sthedamnedestthing.YouknowmyguyMickey?”
“Uh-huh.”AsthekeeperoftheHRrecordsforBlake’scompany,Ihavethelowdownonallhis

employees.

“HisbrotherJaceisaconstructionsupervisorforoneofthebiggestoutfitsinDallas.Atlunchthe

otherday,Mickeymentionedhisbrotherislookingtosimplifyabitandstartingtolookaround.Iaskedif
hemightbeinterestedinworkingwithus,andMickeysaidhe’dprobablyjumponit.He’stalkingtohim
thisweektofeelhimout.”

“That’sgreat.Ifitworksout,it’llsaveyouthehassleofusingarecruiter.”
“Ifhecomesdownforameeting,I’dwantyouthere.”
“Ofcourse.”SittingonthetipofmytongueisthenewsaboutmyinterviewinAustin,butIbitemy

tongueandkeeptheinfotomyselfuntilIknowforsurewhetherornotthejobisgoingtohappen.“Ihave
togotoAustinFridaytoSunday.Doyoumindbeingoncallincasethere’sanotherplumbingdisaster
whileI’mgone?”

“Noproblem,”hesayswithalaugh.“UnlessI’minadeliveryroom,I’mallyours.”
“Appreciateit.”
“What’sinAustin?”
Tellhim.Tellhimthetruth.He’dunderstand.Butwouldhe?Hereliessoheavilyonmetorunhis

businessthatthenewswouldprobablyfreakhimout,andhehasenoughonhismindwithHoneyaboutto
popandofferingonthenewdevelopment.I’lltellhimafterward,ifanythingcomesofit.“Takinga
meetingforaclient.”

“Hopeyou’llhavesomefunwhileyou’rethere.”
“That’stheplan.”
“Hey,guesswhatIheardatthequickmartearlierwhenIwasgettinggas?”
“What’sthat?”
“WaynePeterson’sgrandfatherdied.Iwonderifhe’llcomehomeforthefuneral.”
Simon,oneoftheothergymratsweworkoutwithregularly,pipesup.“He’sback.Isawhimatthe

bankearliertoday.”

ItdawnsonmethatLaurenhasn’tshownuptoworkoutafterindicatingthatsheprobablywould.I

droptheweightstothepaddedfloor,andtheylandwithaloudclankthatstartlesBlakeandtheothers

workingoutnearby.

Suddenly,there’snothingmoreimportanttomeinthisworldthangettingtoherbeforeshehearsthis

newsfromsomeoneelse.“Igottagotoher.”

Nodding,Blakesays,“Goodcall.Youwantmetocome?”
“No,I’vegotit,butthanks.”
“Callmelater,”hesaysasIboltforthelockerroom,grabmyclothes,wallet,phoneandkeysandrun

totheparkinglot.AsIthrowthecarintogear,Itrytodecidewheretolookfirst—homeortheshop.After
asecondofdebate,Iheadfortheshop,becauseanyonecanwalkinthroughthefrontdoorthere.Atleast
athome,she’dhavetochoosetolethimin—andshe’dneverdothat.

I

CHAPTERNINE

ttakesfifteeninterminableminutestomaketheshortdriveinwhatcountsfor“rushhour”inMarfa.
WhileIwaitforeverylighttocyclethroughtwice,ItrytocallherfourtimeswhileusingtheshirtI

woretoworktomopupthesweatonmyface.BythetimeItearintothelotatBloomsburywhere
Lauren’scarisstillparked,myanxietyisthroughtheroof.ItspikesevenfurtherwhenIrealizethefront
doorisstillunlockedmorethananhourafterclosing.

“Lauren!”Thelightsareon,butthere’snosignofherinthestorefrontportionoftheshop,soIround

thecounterandrushintotheworkroom.WhatIseetherestopsmyheart.MybeautifulLauren,huddledin
thecorner,headdown,armswrappedaroundherknees,rockingbackandforth.I’llfuckingkillhimwith
mybarehands,butfirstIhavetoseetoher.

Idroptomykneesinfrontofher.“Lauren.Sweetheart,it’sme,Garrett.”Itentativelyplacemyhand

overherfreezingone,andsheflinches.“Baby,it’sme.You’reokay.I’mherenow.Holdontome.”

Shemoanslikeawoundedanimal,andIhavetoremindmyselftostaycalm,tofocusonher.Therage

canwait.

Icarefullywrapmyarmsaroundher,andshehalfleaps,halflevitatesintomyembrace,nearly

knockingmebackward.ButImanagetoholdontoherasshebreaksdownintothekindofsobsthat
remindmealltoomuchoftheaftermathofherlastgo-roundwithWayne.

“Shhh.”Irubcirclesonherbackandstrokeherhair.“I’mherenow.You’resafe.”Ihavenoideahow

longwesitthereonthefloorwrappedupineachotherasshesobs,butafterawhile,shebeginstocalm
eversoslightly,althoughshe’sstilltremblingviolently.I’mnotsurehowtoproceed.DoIaskwhat
happened,ordoIwaitforhertotellme?I’vegottoknowifhehurther.InthesoftestvoiceIcanmanage,
Isay,“Areyouhurt?”

Sheshakesherhead.
Bothourphonesring,butIignorethem.It’sprobablyBlakecallingmeandHoneycallingher.I’ll

updatethemassoonasIcan.Rightnow,I’mallaboutLauren.

“Sweetheart,willyoulookatme?”
Slowly,sheraisesherheadtorevealherravagedface.Igritmyteethtokeepfromroaringatthesight

ofherswolleneyes,brightredcheeksand…Arethosefuckingbruises?

Irunmyfingeroverthepurplemarkonherlowerrightcheek.There’samatchingoneontheother

side.“Didhedothistoyou?”

“He…Hecameintobuyf-flowersfor…forhisgrandfather’sf-funeral.”Asobshakesher.“I…I

couldn’tmove.Iwassoscared.Andthenhe…hegrabbedmyfaceandforcedmetolookathim.”

Iwanttoroarandrage.Thathe’dhavethenervetogoanywherenearherisenoughtomakemewant

toseehimdead.

“We’recallingthepolicethistime.”Sherefusedtocooperateinpressingchargesthelasttime,saying

shejustwantedhimgone,andifshepressedchargesshe’dhavetodealwithhimforalongtime—andhe
stillcould’vegottenawaywithitafterallthat.“Wecan’tlethimdothis.”

“O-okay.”Thestammer,thesobs,thetears…Theybringmebacktothedreadfuldaysthatfollowed

thefirsttimehedaredtolayhishandsonher.

Tuggingmycellphonefrommypocket,Idial9-1-1andaskthemtosendpolicetoBloomsburyon

Highland.

“Whatisyouremergency?”theoperatorasks.
“Myfriendhasbeenassaulted.”
“Officersareontheirway.”
Laurenwhimpers,andIwrapherupinmyembraceagain.
“Don’tletgo.Pleasedon’tletgo.”
Theacheinmychestflaresintoafull-blownflamethatthreatenstoincinerateme.“Never.I’llnever

letyougo.”AsIholdher,theairconditionercomeson,triggeringthedelicatemusicofthewindchimes
Laurenhasdisplayedinthestore.Thejoyfulnoiseseemsoutofplaceinthemidstofthedramaunfolding
aroundus.

Inthedistance,Ihearapproachingsirens.“Heretheycome,sweetheart.Doyoufeelabletotalkto

them?”

Sheshakesherheadtosayno.
“That’sokay.I’lldothetalkingforyou.Don’tworryaboutanything.Justbreathe.”
Thebellsonthefrontdoorjingleasthecopscomein.I’mrelievedtohearmyfriendBrock

Hernandez,chiefoftheMarfaPoliceDepartment,callforLauren.“Backhere,Brock.”

Hecomesintothestoreroomwithapatrolofficerandstopsshortatthesightofmesittingonthefloor

withLaureninmyarms.“Whathappened?”He’saboutsixfeetfourinchesofpuremuscle,withdarkhair
andpiercingblueeyes.OurfriendScarlettsaysthesightofhissexyfacemakesherwanttodropher
panties—informationIcoulddowithout,butthereyouhaveit.FromwhatI’mtoldbymyfemalefriends,
Brockishot,especiallyinuniform.

“WaynePetersonhappened—again.Cameintothestoreandscaredthehelloutofherandthen

grabbedherface.Hebruisedandterrifiedher.”

Brock’snormallyamiableexpressiongoeshardasstone.Totheofficerwithhim,hesays,“Putoutthe

wordforpatroltopickupWaynePetersonathismother’splace.”Herattlesofftheaddressfrommemory.

Thepatrolmangoesoutsidetocallitin.
Brocksquatsdownnexttous.“Hey,Lauren.”
“Hi,Brock,”shesays,hervoicemuffledbymyT-shirt.
“Youwanttotellmewhathappened?”
Aspromised,Ispeakforher.“Shetoldmehecameintoorderflowersforhisgrandfather’sfuneral

andcaughthercompletelybysurprise.Shehasn’tseenhimsincethenightheattackedher.Whenshefroze
inshock,hetookherbythefaceandsqueezedhardenoughtoleavebruises.Tellmethatcountsasan
assault.”

“Itdefinitelycounts,”Brocksays.“CouldIsee,honey?”
Reluctantly,orsoitseemstome,Laurenraisesherfacefrommychestandshowsherinjuredfaceto

Brock.

Heuttersalowcurse.“Thatsonofabitchneverlearns,doeshe?”
Lauren’seyesfillwithtears,andsheshakesherhead.
“Doyouneedmedicalattention?”heasks.
“No.I’mokay.”
“I’llbewithher,”IassureBrock.
“Tomorrow,I’llneedyoutocomedowntothestationandfileaformalreport.OrIcancometoyou.

Whateverworksbest.”

“Couldyoucometoherplaceinthemorning?”Iaskhim,tryingtomakethisaseasyonheras

possible.

“Ofcourse.”Afterapause,hesays,“Youhavetopresschargesthistime,Lo.Wecan’tletthishappen

again.”

“Iknow,”sherepliesinasoft,brokentonethatmakestheacheinmychestsharpen.Ihavesomany

emotionsrushingthroughmerightnowthatIcanbarelyprocessthemall.Iwanttoprotectherandhold
herandloveherandavengeher—allatthesametime.

“Ineedtotakesomephotosofthebruises,Lauren,”Brocksays.“Wouldthatbeokay?”
Sheglancesatme,andwhenInodinencouragement,shesays,“Okay”inasmall,defeatedtonethat

breaksmyheart.

Brocktakesthephotosquicklyandwithaminimumoffuss,whichIappreciate.
“Willyouseeherhome,Garrett?”
“Absolutely.”
“Oneotherquestion,Lauren.Doyouhavevideosurveillanceinthestore?”
Shenodsandpointstothecloseddooroffthestoreroom.“It’sintheoffice.”
“DoIhaveyourpermissiontoreviewit?”
“Yes.”
“We’regoingtobehereawhileprocessingthescene.Ifyougivemeakey,I’lllockupwhenwe’re

done.”

“There’sanextrasetonmydesk.They’retheonlykeysonthedesk.”
“Great,thanks.Youguysdon’thavetostickaroundifyouwanttogo.”
“Willyougrabherpursefromtheoffice?”IaskBrock.
“Yougotit.”
BecauseIwanttogetheroutofheremorethanIwantmynextbreath,Iscoopherrightupoffthefloor

andsettleherintomyarms.Shepressesherfacetomychest,asifthethoughtofanyoneseeingherlike
thisismorethanshecanbear.

ItakethepursefromBrockandmakeeyecontactwithhim.
HenodstoacknowledgetheragethatI’mcertainhecanseeallovermyfaceandthenholdsthedoors

formeasIcarryhertotheparkinglot.

HoneyiswaddlingdownthesidewalkbetweentheirstorefrontsasIloadLaurenintomycar.

“Garrett!OhmyGod!Blakecalledme.Whathappened?”

“WaynePetersonpaidheravisit.”
Beforemyeyes,Honeygoespaleandtakesastumblingstepbackward.
Igrabherarmtokeepherfromlosingherbalance.“Areyouokay?”
“Yes,sorry.”Sheblinksbacktears.“Ijust…I’mshocked.”
“Soisshe.I’mtakingherhome.”
“I’llwaitforBlake,andwe’llcomeover.We’llbringsomethingtoeat.”
BecauseIknowLauren’sotherbestfriendneedstodosomethingforher,Ididn’tobject,evenifI’d

prefertobealonewithher.“Okay.”

“Letmejust…”Shegesturestothepassengerdoorofmycar,andIstepasidetogiveheraccessto

Lauren.

Honeyopensthedoorandbends—asmuchasshecan,whichisn’tmuch—tospeaktoLauren.IseeLo

nodatwhateverHoneysaystoher.ThenHoneystepsback,andagainItakeholdofherarmtohelpher
findherbearings.Ifshedoesn’tgivebirthtothiskidsoon,Iworryshe’sgoingtotoppleoveratsome
point.

I’mabouttooffertogiveheraridebacktothestudio,butBlake’scompanypickupcomestoa

skiddingstopatthecurb,andhejumpsout,runningovertous.“Issheokay?”heasksofLauren.

“Shewillbe.Hewasroughwithherandscaredthehelloutofher.”
“Sonofabitch,”Blakemutters.
“Brockisgoingtoarresthimandchargehimwithassault.”
“ThankfuckingGod.It’sabouttime.”Heputshisarmaroundhiswifeanddrawsherintohis

embrace.“Comeon,darlin’.Let’sgetyouoffyourfeet.”AsBlakeleadsHoneytothetruck,Igoaround
tothedriver’ssideofmycarandgetin.“Howyoudoing,sweetheart?”

“Okay.”
“BlakeandHoneyaregoingtocomeovertocheckonyou.Ihopethat’sokay.”
Shenods.“It’sfine.I’msorrytomakesuchafuss.”
“Don’tyouapologizeforanything.”MytoneisharsherthanIintended,andIimmediatelyregretit.

Placingmyhandontopofherstill-freezinghand,Isoftenmywords.“Noneofthisisyourfault.”

“I…Whenhecameintothestore,I-Icouldn’tbelievewhatIwasseeing.IthoughtIwas

hallucinating.”

Whilekeepingmyhandoverhers,Igripthesteeringwheelwithmyotherhandsohard,ithurts.“I’m

sorryyouweresofrightened,love.”

“Aboutoneminutebeforehewalkedinthedoor,Igotacallfromthefuneralhometoletmeknowthat

Mr.Petersonhaddied,andtheyneededtoorderthefuneralspray.ThatwasallthewarningIgotthathe
mightbebackintown,andthenhewasinmyshop.”

Itakecomfortfromthefactthatshe’stalkingaboutitandthestammerseemstobefading.Lasttime,it

tooktwoweeksforhertobeabletotalkaboutwhathappened,andthestammerhadlastedamonth.Ihave
nodoubtshe’sstrongernowthanshewasthen,butitstillkillsmethathehurtheragain.I’dliketotear
himapartwithmyowntwohands,butIwon’tdothat.Iwon’tsacrificemyselftogainamoment’s
satisfaction.I’malwaysbroughtbacktorealitybythereminderofhowmanypeoplerelyonme.Idon’t
havetheluxuryofbeingabletogiveintomythirstforrevenge.Rather,I’llfocusonherandgettingher
throughthis.

Anideapopsintomymind—thetriptoAustin,theluxurysuite,thespa,thepool,nottomentionthe

wininganddining.Thegetawaycouldbejustwhatsheneedsifwecanmakeithappen.I’llmentionitto
hertomorrowwhenshe’shadtimetoprocesswhathappenedtoday.

Wepullintoherdriveway,andIrunaroundtohelpheroutofthecar.“Youwantmetogiveyoua

lift?”

Shegivesmeasmallsmile.“That’sokay.Icanwalk.”
Ifollowherupthestairsandwaitforhertounlockthedoorbeforefollowingherintothecool

darknessofherhome.Wasitonlythismorningthatwewerehereeatingdoughnutsandkissingthesugar
offeachother’slips?Thatseemslikealifetimeagonow.

“Wheredoyouwanttobe?Downhereorupstairsinbed?”
“Hereisfine.”Shecurlsuponthesofa,restingherheadonapillowwithbutterfliesembroideredon

it.

Icoverherwiththeyellowthrowthat’sslungoverthebackofthesofaandsitnexttoher,caressing

herhairandtakingnoticeofthedarkeningbruisesonhercheeks.“Howaboutsomeiceforyourface?”

“Thatmightfeelgood.”

Ikissherforehead.“Comingrightup.”Inthekitchen,Ifillaplasticsandwichbagwithiceandmake

sureit’scompletelysealed.Ifindasoftdishtowelinadrawerandbringthatwithme.Iplacethetowel
overthelowerpartofherfaceandthenpositionthebagsoitissplitdownthemiddlewithiceappliedto
bothsides.“How’sthat?Canyoubreathe?”

“Uh-huh.Feelsgood.”Shecloseshereyesandtakesadeepbreath.
Ibrushthehairbackfromherfaceandletmyfingertipsventureovertheuppercurveofherleftcheek.

Sheissoveryprecioustome.Howanyonecouldeverhurtorscareherisbeyondme.Tearsburnmy
eyes,andIclosethemtokeepfrombreakingdown.Ihaven’tcriedsincemyfatherdied,andIcan’tstart
noworImightneverstop.

Tuningintomydismay,shecurlsherhandaroundmyneckandgivesagentletug,bringingmyhead

downtorestagainsthershoulder.Assherunsherfingersthroughmyhair,Iwonderhowsheendedup
takingcareofmeratherthantheotherwayaround.

WestaythatwayuntilwehearBlakeandHoneycominginthefrontdoor.
IraisemyheadtomeetLauren’sgazeandkissherforehead.
“Dinner’shere,”Honeycallsoutcheerfully.
Bythesmellofthings,they’vebroughtbarbecuethatmakesmymouthwater.Ican’tbelieveI’m

actuallyhungry.“Doyoufeellikeyoucouldeatalittlesomething,sweetheart?”

Sheremovestheiceandtowelfromherface,whichisredfromthecold.“IftheybroughtwhatIthink

theydid,Icouldprobablychokesomethingdown.”

IsayasilentthankstoHoney,whoknewjustwhatwouldappealtoLauren.Ihelpherupandholdher

handtowalkherintothekitchen,whereBlakeandHoneyhavelaidoutdinner.

Wehearthefrontdooropenagain,andLaurenglancesatmeanxiously.
“Justme,”Scarlettcallsout.ShecomesintothekitchenandgoesrighttohugLauren.“Whereishe,

andhowcanIstickanicepickthroughhisskull?”

Laurenlaughsbecausehowcouldshenot?Scarlettistoomuchatthebestoftimes,andabsolutely

perfectattheworstoftimes.

“Don’tdothat,”Laurentellsherfriend.“Don’tanyofyougiveintotheurgetogetviolentwithhim.

Violencedoesn’tfixanything.”

LeaveittoLaurentozerorightinonwhatwe’reallthinking.I’msoproudofthewayshe’shandling

thislatestencounterwithWayne.It’slightyearsfromhowshewasafterthefirsttimehehurther,evenif
thatincidentwasmuchmoreseverethanthisone.She’ssomuchstrongernowthanshewasthen.Later,
whenwe’realone,I’lltellherso.

Weenjoyalivelydinnerwithourfriends,whomakeanefforttoactasifnothingiswrong.We’re

finishingupwhenMattandJuliecomeinwiththeirbaby,Grace.Laurenreachesforthebaby.Julie
depositsherintoLauren’sarmsandthenplantsakissonLauren’sforehead.

WatchingLaurenhugandkissthesquirmybabyhasmerubbingthatspotonmychestagain.Ishould

probablygetthatcheckedatsomepoint.It’sbeenprettyintensethelastcoupleofdays.Itoccurstome
thatshe’sgoingtobeawonderfulmothersomeday.Anychildborntoherwillbeoneluckykid.And
wherewillIbewhenthathappens?InAustinorsomeotherfar-flungglamorouslocation,growingmy
careerandlivingthelifeIalwaysdreamedof?

SurroundedbyLaurenandmyclosestfriends,watchingourtribebandtogetherinthemidstofcrisis,

thethoughtofmovingtoAustindoesn’tsoundquiteasgoodtomeasitdidonlyafewdaysago.I’mso
confusedabouteverything,butIcan’tcancelthemeetingthat’sbeenplannedwithsuchexcitementbythe
company,anditwouldbegoodtogetawaywithLaurenforafewdays.

“Solisten,guys,”IsaybeforeItakeanothersecondtocontemplatewhetherit’sagoodideaornot.It

feelslikeagoodidea,andthat’senoughforme.“IhavetogotoAustintomorrowtomeetwithapotential
newclient.They’reputtingmeupattheFourSeasonsfortheweekend,andIthoughtLaurenmightcome

withmetotakefulladvantageofthespaandpoolwhileI’mworking.”

“Who’stheclient?”Blakeasks,soundingsuspicious.
“Arestaurantgroupthat’slookingtoexpand.TheysawthearticleaboutmeinTexasCEOandhitme

up.”Partofthatistrue—theinterestfromthecompanyI’minterviewingwithcamefromthesamearticle,
whichranaboutamonthagoandtalkedaboutthewayI’vegrownmyfather’ssmall-townbusinessintoa
seven-figureoperationinjustsixyears.ToJulie,Isay,“IsthereanywayyoucouldcoverforLaurenat
theshopsoshecanbeaway?”She’sworkedparttimeforLaurenovertheyears,fillinginduringthebusy
times.

“Absolutely.GraceandIwouldbehappytodothat.”
IglanceatLauren,whoseemsstunnedbytheturnofevents.“Whatdoyouthink,Lo?Areyouupfora

littlegetaway?”

“I…Idon’tfeelrightleavingJulieinchargeonsuchshortnotice.”
“Ohplease,”Juliesays.“Givemesomethingtodobesideschangediapersandbreastfeed.”
“She’sstir-crazy,”Mattaddsgravely.“She’dlovetogetoutofthehouse.You’dbedoingusbotha

favortoletherworkafewdaysforyou.”

Juliesendsherhusbandasaucysmilethatmakesuslaugh.
“Plus,Meganistheretohelpintheafternoons,”Juliesays.“Icanhandleit.Takeabreak,Lo.It’lldo

yougood.”

“IhavetodoMrs.Smyth’sgroceryshoppingonSundayandcountthemoneyatchurch,”Laurensays.

“Wehavethespecialcollectionforthefoodbank.”

“I’lltakecareofboththosethings,”Honeysays.“You’regoingtoAustin.”
Tomyhorror,Laurenbreaksdownintosobsonceagain.Ireachforher.“Sweetheart,what’swrong?

Doyounotwanttogo?Wedon’thavetoifyoudon’tfeellikeit.”

Sheshakesherhead,andaftertakingamomenttogetherselftogether,shesays,“Y’allarethebest

friendsanygirlcouldeverhave.”

“Weloveyou,”Honeysaysbluntly.“There’snothingwewouldn’tdoforyou.I’llhelpoutattheshop,

too.GowithGarrett.Haveagoodtime.It’lldoyougoodtogetawayforafewdays.”

“CanyoudotomorrowandSaturday?”IaskJulie.TheshopisclosedonSundays,soweonlyneed

coveragefortwodays.

“Yep.Consideritdone.”
“Whataboutthefivea.m.flowerdeliveries?”IaskJulie.
“I’lltakecareofit,”Scarlettsays.“I’matthecoffeeshopbythenanyway.”
“Lookslikeyou’vegotyourselfamini-vacation,”IsaytoLauren,whosebrightsmilelightsupher

tearyeyesbutthenfadesjustasquickly.

“What?”Iaskher.
“Thebruises,”shesayssoftly,coveringherfacewithherhands.“Ican’tgoanywherelookinglike

this.”

HershameenragesmeandtestsmyresolvetoletBrockhandleWayne.Iwanttopummelhim.
“I’vegotmakeupthat’llcoverthem,”Scarlettsays.“It’sleftoverfrommytheaterdays.Don’tworry.

I’llfixyouupandshowyouhowtodoityourself.Noonewillknowthey’rethere.”

“Oh.Okay.”
“Sowe’regoingtoAustin?”Iaskher.
Nodding,shesays,“IwouldlovetogotoAustin.Thankyouforinvitingme.Ican’trememberthelast

timeIwentanywhere.”

Whensheagreestocomewithme,theacheinmychestisreplacedbyalighterfeelingofflyinghigher

thanIeverhavebefore.Idon’treallyunderstandwhatitmeans,butIsuredolikehowitfeelstoknowI
havethreedaystospendwithLaurenawayfromworkandallmyotherresponsibilitiesinMarfa.

Ican’twait.

A

CHAPTERTEN

ftereveryoneleaves,IfinishcleaningupthekitchenandgolookingforLauren,bringingafresh
bagoficewithme.Ifindherupstairsinherroom.She’schangedintopajamapantsandatanktop.

Herhairissoftaroundherface,andhereyeshavelostthehauntedlooktheyhadearlier.I’msorelieved
toseeherrecoveringfromthescarewithWaynerelativelyquickly.

“How’reyoufeeling?”
“Surprisinglyokay,thankstoyouandtheothers.I’dbelosingmymindifIhadtodealwiththis

alone.”

“You’llneverbealone.”Butwhataboutwhenyou’reinAustin,sixandahalfhoursfromherwhen

somethingupsetsorhurtsher?What’llyoudothen?IpushthatdisturbingthoughtfrommymindsoIcan
focusonthepresentandwhatsheneedsrightnow.“Howaboutsomemoreice?”

“Sure.”
“Getcomfy.”
Shegetsintobedandsitsbackagainstabigpileofpillows.
Roundingthebed,Ibringtheicepackandtoweltoherandhelptopositionit.“Good?”
Gazingatme,shenods.Shetakesholdofmyhand.“Howdidyouknowtocometotheshopearlier?”
“IheardsomeguystalkingatthegymaboutWaynebeingbackintown.Ididn’tthink.Ijustran.”
“I’msogladyoudid.Idon’tknowwhatIwould’vedoneifyouhadn’tshownupwhenyoudid.”
“I’mgladIwasabletobethereforyou.”Afterapause,Iaskher,“Doyouwanttobealone,orwould

youratherIstayed?”

Shelooksupatmewiththosebigeyesthatslayme.“Pleasedon’tgo.Idon’twanttobealone.”
Igraspherhandandgiveitasqueeze.“I’mnotgoinganywhere,sweetheart.”
“Thankyouforthatandforeverythingtonight.”
“Youdon’thavetothankme.Iwashopingyou’dwantmetostay.”
“I’msoexcitedaboutthetriptoAustin.Youhadn’tmentionedthatyouweregoing.”
“Itcameupearlierthisweek.I’mgladyoucancome.Theclienttoldmetobringaguestandmake

surewetakefulladvantageofthespaandthepool.”

Shesighswithpleasure,andthesoundissoreminiscentofthehourswespentinmybedthatmycock

stirsforthefirsttimeallnight.Buttonightisnotaboutthatkindofpleasure.It’saboutcomfortandsafety

andanythingelsesheneedstogetpastwhathappenedearlier.

“DoyoumindifIgrabaquickshower?Inevertookoneafterthegym.”
“Ofcoursenot.Makeyourselfathome.Towelsareinthecloset.”
“I’llbequick.”Inthebathroom,I’mnotsurprisedtofindbrightyellowtowelsinthecloset.Istepinto

theshowerInormallywould’vetakenatthegymandturnmyfaceuptothehotwater,lettingitrushover
mewhiletryingtosummonthecalmthatLaurenneedsfromme.Tonightisallabouther.Aftermyshower,
Iputononlyboxersandreturntoherbedroomtofindthatshehasdozedoff.

Icarefullyremovetheicepackandtowelfromherfaceandthenstashthemonthebedsidetable

beforeturningoffthelight.IgetintotheothersideofthebedandtrytorelaxsoIcansleep.Butmymind
isfullofthoughtsaboutthethingsI’dliketodotoWaynePeterson,theinterviewinAustinandwhetherI
shouldbeconcernedaboutthenaggingacheinmychest.

Atsomepoint,IfallasleepandwakewhenLaurencurlsuptome.Iwrapmyarmaroundherandhold

herclosetome,determinedtoprotectherfromeverbeinghurtagain.Butdoesthatdeterminationinclude
turningdownahugecareeropportunitytostayclosetoher?That’sonequestionIdon’thavetheanswer
to.

Lauren’salarmgoesoffwhenit’sstilldarkoutside,startlingmeoutofadisturbingdreaminwhichIwas
chasingher,butshewascontinuouslyjustoutofmyreach.Idon’tlikethefeelingthatleavesmewithasI
rubmyhandsovermyface.

Shesitsupandswingsherlegsoverthesideofthebed.
“Scarlettwillgettheflowers,”Itellher.
“Noneed,”shesays,hervoicenoticeablystrongerthanitwaslastnight.“I’vegotit.”
Irestmyhandonhershoulder.“Lauren…Taketodayandtheweekendtogetyourheadtogether

beforeyougobacktowork.”

Shelooksbackatme,hereyesfiercewithdetermination.“Iabsolutelyrefusetolethimmakemy

preciousshopthatI’veworkedsohardtobuildfromnothingintoaplaceoffear.Thatisnotgoingto
happen.I’mgoingtogetmydamnedflowers.”

Well,allrightythen.Idragmyselfoutofbedtogowithher.
“Youdon’thavetogetupyet.”
“I’mcomingwithyou.”
“Idon’tneedyoutocomewithme.I’vegotthis.”
Ilovethatherfeistinesshasreturnedovernight.ImuchpreferthattotheconditionIfoundherinatthe

shoplastnight.“WhatifIneedtogowithyou?”

Sheshootsmeanadorablywitheringlook.“Ifyou’regoingtoputitthatway…”
“Iamputtingitthatway.”
“Fine!”Shethrowsupherhands.“Comewithme.”
“Gee,thanksforinvitingme,babe.”
Shelaughs,andIrevelinthejoyfulsound.“I’mgrabbingaquickshowertowakeup,andthenwecan

go.”

“I’llbeready.”Whileshe’sintheshower,Igoouttomycartogetthesparesetofgymclothesfrom

mybagsoIcanputonsomethingclean.Herneighbor,Mrs.Smyth,isoutretrievinghermorningpaper.
Shegivesmybarechestalonglook,licksherlipsandsmilesasshewaves.

Um,okay…She’slikeseventy-something.Iwavebackandduckinsidebeforeshegetsanybigideas

aboutcomingovertotalktome.

WhenIgobackinside,Laurenisdownstairs,herwethairaroundhershoulders.She’swearingashort

summerdresswithbatteredcowboyboots,andmymouthgoesdryatthesightofhersexylegsandthose
damnedboots.God,they’rehot.

“Didyoureallygooutsidewithoutashirton?Myneighborswillbeallabuzz.”
“Mrs.Smythwaslickingherlips,”Isaywithascowl.
“Thepoorthingisonlyhuman.She’sgoingtohavetotakeanextradoseofherbloodpressure

medicinetorecoverfromthesightofshirtlessGarrettMcKinley.”

Laurencomesovertomeandrestsherhandflatovertheexactspotonmychestthat’sbeensodamned

achylately.Justthatquickly,I’mhardforher.What.The.Fuck?Itusuallytakesmuchmorethanthatwith
anyoneelse.Whatisitaboutherthatmakesmesodamnedcrazy?Inoticethatshe’sputonthemakeup
thatScarlettwenthometogetforherlastnight,andthebruisesare,infact,invisible.ThankGodforstage
makeup.

“Shutup.Shewillnot.”
“Shewill,too,”Laurensaysinalow,sultrytonethatdoesnothingtohelpthesecondaryacheinmy

groin.“Yououghttobemoreresponsibleaboutyoureffectonwomankind.”

“I’lltakethatunderadvisement.”Ipullonacleantanktop.“Canwegogetthedamnedflowers

now?”

“Byallmeans.”Shegigglesasshegoesbymeoutthedoor.
Smiling,Ifollowherdownstairs.I’msodamnedhappytoseeherinsuchagoodmoodtoday.It’sa

relieftoknowshehasn’tfallenintotheawfulrabbitholelikeshedidthelasttime.

“Hey,Lo,”Isaytoherwhenwe’reinmycaronthewaytotheshop.
“Yeah?”
“Ijustwanttosay…I’mreallyproudofthewayyou’rehandlingeverythingthathappenedyesterday.”
“Thatmeansalotcomingfromthepersonwhosawtheworstofitlasttime,”shesays,smiling

sweetlyatme.

“You’resomuchstrongernowthanyouwerethen.”AndI’msofiercelyproud.Thesentimentisso

huge,itfillsmetooverflowingwithemotionsIcan’tseemtoprocess.Ifindmyselfrubbingthatdamned
acheinmychest.WhenwegetbackfromAustin,Ineedtogetthatchecked.

“Thanksforsayingso.Ididn’tfeelsostronglastnightwhenIfellapartattheshop.”
“Youdidn’tfallapart.Youwereunderstandablyupset,butyou’vealreadybouncedback.”
“I’mnotgivinghimanymoreofmytime.”
“Good.Youshouldn’t.Andspeakingoftime,howmuchdoyouneedattheshoptoday?”
“I’vegotarrangementsforarehearsaldinnerandweddingtofinishup,andI’vegottheordersforMr.

Peterson’sfuneral.Ishouldbedonebynoon.”

Iglanceoverather.“You’redoingthefuneralorders?”
“Whywouldn’tI?Businessisbusiness,andMr.Petersonwasalwaysnicetome.It’snothisfaulthis

grandsonisadisgustingbully.”

She’smagnificent,andIloveher.Thatrealizationcomesovermelikeawavecrashingontoabeach.

Itknocksmeoverandsendsmesideways.Iloveher—asmuchmorethanafriend.Thatwasmost
definitelynottheplan.

Isitacoincidencethatthedamnedacheinmychestseemstoletupatthesametimethiswaveof

understandingovertakesme?

“Garrett?Areyoulisteningtome?”
Iblinkacoupleoftimestobringmyselfbacktoreality.Fuck.“Whatdidyousay?”
“IaskedwhatsortofclothesI’llneedforAustin.”
“Oh,um,somethingtoweartoaniceclientdinnerSaturdaynight.Wecanbemorecasualtonight.

Otherwise,bikinis,lotsofbikinis.”

Outofthecornerofmyeye,Icatchhereyeroll.“Gotit.Onenicedressandabunchofbikinis.”

“Thatoughttodoit.I’lltrytofinishupbynoon,too,sowecangetthereintimeforhappyhour.”
“Ican’twait,”shesays,fairlybouncinginherseatwithexcitement.
I’msothankfulforthetimingoftheAustintrip.Webothneedagetaway.
Wearriveattheshopandworktogethertobringinthebucketsofflowers.Iaskherthenameofevery

oneofthem,andnotonlydoesshegivemethecommonlyknownname,butshesuppliestheLatin,too,
whichIfindincrediblyimpressive.Herfloralarrangementsareworksofartthatareinhotdemand
aroundtown.Bloomsburydesignsfeaturethefunky,colorfulvibethat’ssomuchapartofwhoLaurenis.
WhileIwaitforhertofinishup,Itakealonglookaroundtheshop,feelinglikeI’mseeingitforthevery
firsttime.

Fromthebrightyellowwallsthatshesponge-paintedherselfwithatechniqueshereadaboutina

magazine,tothepurpletrim,tothecolorfuldisplaysofsilkbutterflies,windchimes,flowerpots,and
otherpottery,eachitemlovinglyplacedandarranged.She’spouredherheartandsoulintothisbusiness,
andthere’snowayshe’deverwanttoleaveit.

Herhandlandsonmyback,stirringmeoutofmythoughts.“Readytogo?”Iaskher.
“Inaminute.First,Icoulduseyourhelpwithsomethingintheworkroom.”
“Sure,whateveryouneed.”
Ifollowhertothebackroom,wheresheturnstofaceme,lookingupatmewiththosebig,beautiful

eyes.“Iwaswonderingifyoumightbewillingtohelpmecreateanewmemoryhere,onethatI’llenjoy
thinkingabout…”

Bam.I’mhard.That’sallittakes.“Whatdidyouhaveinmind?”Iask,eventhoughIalreadyknow.I

wanttohearhersayit.

Shecoziesuptome,walkingmebackwarduntilmyassconnectswiththestainless-steeltablethatsits

inthemiddleofherworkroom.Thenshecupsmyhardcockandsqueezes,makingmeseestars.“Maybe
somethinglikethis?”

“Thatworksforme.”
Smiling,shedrawsmedownforakissthat’salltongueandteethandsizzling-hotdesire.Weskipthe

preliminariesandjustdivein.It’sanexplosionofheatandneedandpure,basicwant.Shepractically
crawlsupthefrontofmeinherenthusiasmforthekiss.Ihappilysupportherwithmyhandsonherass
cheeks,whichbringsherheatintodirectcontactwithmycock.

Igroanintohermouth,andshebitesdownonmytongue,almostmakingmecome.Breakingthekiss,I

suckadeepbreathintoair-starvedlungsandstaredownather.“Youaresofuckingbeautiful.”Iturnusso
herassisonthetable,andIcomedownoverherassheliesback.“Doyouhaveanyideahowbeautiful
youare?”

Tomydisbelief,sheshakesherhead.“Noonehasevertoldmethatbefore.”
“Thosemotherfuckerswerefuckingblind.”
Hersmilelightsmeupfromtheinside,fillingmeonceagaintothepointofbursting.Ican’tstop

staringather,asifI’mseeingherforthefirsttime,butinanall-newlightnow,thekindoflightthatburns
sobrightly,itlastsalifetime.

Sheraisesherhandstomyface,hertouchgentleandstirring.“Makelovetome,Garrett.Ineedyou

somuch.”

Herrequestsparkssomethingalmostprimalinme.Mywomanneedsme.Imovefasttopulldownmy

shorts,andIdon’tbothertoremoveherpanties.Whytakethetimewhentheycanbepushedasideso
easily?AndthenI’minsidehertight,wetheat,andhermusclesaresnugaroundmycock,and…I’mso
totallyfucked.Idropmyheadtohershoulder,closemyeyesandfocusonbreathing.Ican’tleaveher.
That’sasobvioustomeinthismomentasanythinghaseverbeen.Leavingherwouldbelikeleavinghalf
ofmebehind—thebesthalfofme.

Ican’tdoit.Iwon’tdoit.Ifit’sachoicebetweenherandthebigcareerIwasalwaysdestinedto

have,fuckthecareer.FuckAustin.Fuckitall.

Herfingersrunningthroughmyhairsendacurrentofelectricitydownmyspinetomyballs,which

tinglewithgrowingurgency.“Garrett?Areyouokay?”

“Yeah,baby.It’sallgood.”Anditwillbe.I’llseetothat.Butfirstthingsfirst.Iraisemyselfupand

cupthosegorgeousasscheeks,myfingersdiggingintodensefleshasIthrustintoher,goingdeepandthen
retreating,teasingherwithtwistsofmyhipsthatmakeherscreamfromthepleasure.Ipoundintoherso
hardthatthetablemovesclosertothefarwall.

Icantellshe’sonthevergeofcoming,andIcouldeasilyhelpheralong,butIdecideI’dratherdraw

itoutawhilelongertomakesurethismemoryispermanentlysearedinhermind.Ipulloutofher
abruptly,makinghergapewithsurprise.Ipickherupandturnheraroundsoshe’sstandingonthefloor,
facingthetable.Withmyhandonherback,Ibendheratthewaistandenterherfrombehind.Fuck,yes.I
cangosomuchdeeperthisway.

Istartthebuildalloveragain,drivingintoheroverandoveragain,ourfleshslappingtogetherand

hersupplecheeksjigglingwitheverythrust.She’ssofuckinghotandwetandtight.God,sotight.Her
pussymusclesflutteraroundmycocklikeahandjob,onlysomuchbetter.

Ireachdowntowherewe’rejoinedtolubeupmymiddlefinger,whichIthendriveintoherass.She

comesimmediately,sohardshenearlybreaksmyfreakingfinger.Shescreamsbloodyhell,andIloveit.I
loveeveryfuckingsecondofit,especiallythepartwhereIcomesohardmyvisiongoesblackfora
second.Ibitemytonguetokeepfromblurtingouteverythoughtinmyhead,alloftheminvolvingthetwo
ofusdoingthisfortherestofourlives.

Whenmyheadstopsspinning,Iwithdrawfromherandhelpherup.“Howwasthatforabetter

memoryoftheworkroom?”

Shepushesherhairbackfromherface,whichisflushedandsexyasshesmilesupatme.“That’ll

do.”

Ismileback,likeadopeylovesickfool.Whatthefucktookmesolongtofigureoutthattheonlything

Ineedtobehappyisher?Idon’tneedabigjoborabigcityoranythingotherthanher.Ishouldcancel
thetriptoAustin.IshouldcalltheCEO’sassistant…Whatwashernameagain?Ishouldcallherandtell
herIcan’tmakeitafterallbecause,itseems,IalreadyhavethelifeIwasintendedtolive,rightherein
MarfawithLauren.

ButIpromisedhertheweekendaway,andthepeopletherehavemadeplans.Isupposeatthevery

leastIowethemthecourtesyofhearingthemout.Sothat’swhatI’lldo.I’llhearthemout,andthenwe’ll
comehomewherewebelong.ThedecisionisareliefafterdaysoffeelinglikeI’mallovertheplace—
here,thereandnowhere,upintheairinaweirdstateoflimbo.Mypathforwardisnowcrystalclearand
staringupatmewithaquizzicallook.

“Areyouokay?”
“I’mgood.”Ikissher.“No,I’mgreat,infact.”She’sstillstaringatmewhenIgotothesinktowash

myhands.IfeellikeIcouldclimbmountainsortakeontheworldordoanythingaslongasIhaveherto
comehometoattheendoftheday.Andattheendofthisday,we’regoingtoAustinforawholeweekend
together.Ican’twait.

WeleaveMarfalaterthanexpectedduetoLaurenhavingtogiveastatementtoBrockaswellasa
“crisis”withSierra,whodecidedtostayoutallnight—withouttellingmymother.Momisfreakedout
aboutherhavingsexwithherboyfriendandgettingpregnant,butdoyouthinkMomiswillingtotalkto
heraboutthat?Nope.Thatspecialjoyfelltome,anditwaseverybitasawkwardasyoumightimagine.I
cringejustthinkingaboutit.

“You’requietoverthere,”LaurensaysasweheadeastonI-10.
Ifwedon’tencountertraffic,weshouldbetherebyeight,intimetoenjoyanicedinner,perhapsin

oursuiteratherthangoingout.“I’mstilltryingtoscrubmybrainofthememoriesoftalkingtoSierra
aboutsex.”

Sherespondswithalowchuckleandahandonmyleg,bothofwhichremindmeofthefactthatwe

havealmostfourhourstogobeforeIcanholdherandkissherandmakelovetoheragain.“Poorbaby,”
shecoos.“It’snoteasybeingyou,isit?”

“No,itisn’t.Thankyoufornoticing.”
“WhatdidSierrahavetosay?”
“Sheassuredmeshehasn’thadsexwithanyoneanddoesn’tplanto,notthatit’sanyofmybusiness.

AndsheremindedmeonceagainthatI’mnotherfatherandtoquitactinglikeIam.”

“Ibetshedoesn’tmindyouactinglikeherfatherwhensheneedsmoney.”
“Youwouldwinthatbet.”
“You’renevergoingtowantkidsofyourownafterhelpingtoraiseherandLola,”shesayswitha

sigh.

Ifinditinterestingthatsheframesthatcommentasastatementandnotaquestion.“Idon’tknow.They

don’tcomeoutasteenagers,dothey?”

“Oftentheyarriveasinfants,actually.”
“Isthatright?Inthatcase,Imightbeconvincedtogiveitawhirl.IactuallylikedSierraandLola

whentheywerebabies.Rememberwhenmymomtolduswehadtostopreferringtothemas‘thebabies’
whentheywereinmiddleschool?”

“Ido!”Shelaughs.“Thatusedtomakethemsomad.”
“They’llalwaysbethebabiestome.ThethoughtofSierrahavingsexmakesmewanttokilltherandy

littlemotherfuckershe’sdating.”

“Ihatetobreakittoyou,butshe’sgoingtodoiteventually.”
“NotifIcangetherintoaconventfirst.”
“Ha!Letmeknowhowthatgoes.”
Inmorethansixhours,weneverrunoutofthingstotalkabout.Welaughaboutthefunnythingsthat

havehappenedinthepastaswellasthestaggeringarrayofreasonsmyfamilyhascalledonmeoverthe
years,suchasthetimeSierradecidedtojamapeanutbutterandjellysandwichdownthetoilet.Lauren
pointsouttheongoingtoilettheme,whichhasusbothcrackingup.

It’ssoeasywithher.Weknowallthesamepeople.We’vebeenclosefriendssincesixthgrade.We’ve

beenthrougheverythingtogether.Atsomepoint,withoutmequiterealizingit,shebecametheotherhalfof
me.NowthatI’vefiguredoutwhatwasrightinfrontofmeallalong,Ifeelcalmerandmoreatpeacethan
Ihaveinalongtime.

Afterwegetthroughthisweekend,I’mgoingtotalktoheraboutmakingsomeplans.
We’reanhouroutsideofAustinwhenwereceiveacallfromBrock.ItakeitontheBluetoothandlet

himknowhe’sgotbothofus.

“I’mgladIcaughtyouguys,”hesays.“Iwantedtoletyouknowthatwe’vechargedWaynewith

simpleassaultforwhathappenedyesterdayattheshop.”

“Therewasnothingsimpleaboutthatassault,”Ireplytestily.
“Iknow,”Brocksayswithasigh.“ButitwasthebestIcoulddounderthecircumstances.”
“BecauseIdidn’tpresschargeslasttime,right?”Laurenasks.
Ihatethathervoicesoundssmallandtimid,thewayitgetsanytimeshetalksaboutWayne.
“It’snotyourfault,Lauren,”Brockassuresher.
“Sureitis,”shesays.“IfIhadn’tlethimoffthehookthen,wecould’venailedhimnow.”
Iplacemyhandontopofhers,whichisstillonmyleg.“Willhedoanytime?”IaskBrock.

“No.Simpleassaultisamisdemeanor,butIlethimknowthatLaurenwillbefilingforarestraining

orderthat’llrequirehimtostayatleastathousandfeetfromher.Hewon’tbestoppingintobuyanymore
flowers.I’llseetothat.”

“Thankyou,Brock,”shesays.“IwantyouandGarretttoknowthatifIhadittodooveragain,I

would’vechargedhimlasttime.”

“Youdidwhatwasbestforyouatthetime,”Brocksays.“Noonecanfaultyouforthat.I’mallowing

himtoattendthefuneral,andthenI’llpersonallymakesureheleavestownandstaysgonethistime.He’s
beentoldhe’snotwelcomebackhereforanyreason.”

Laurennodswithapproval.“Thanksagain,Brock.Ireallydoappreciateyourhelpandsupport.”
“Justdoingmyjob.”
“Andbeingagoodfriend,too,”shesays.
“That’smypleasure.YouguyshaveanicetimeinAustin.Trytorelax.”
“Wewill,”Isay.“Talktoyouwhenwegetback.”
“I’llbehere.”
IdisconnectthecallandglanceoveratLauren,who’sstaringoutthewindowasshegnawsonher

bottomlip.“Youokay?”

“Surprisingly,yes.I’mactuallyrelieved.”
“Becausehe’sbeingcharged?”
“ThatandIdon’thavetoworryabouthimcomingbackanymore.”
“You’vebeenstressingoutaboutthat?”
“EverydaysincethelasttimeIsawhim.Iknewhe’dresurfaceeventually.”
“Whydidn’tyousayanything?”
“Ididn’twanteveryonetoworryorhover.You’veallgotyourownbusinessestorun.Anddon’ttryto

denythatyouwould’vehovered.”

Iwould’vehovered.She’srightaboutthat.“Okay.Iwon’tdenyit.”
“Youknowwhattheverybestpartofmywholelifehasbeen?”
“What’sthat?”Iask,desperatelywantingtoknow.
“YouandHoneyandBlakeandScarlettandMattandJulieandBrockandtherestofourfriendsin

Marfa.Youguysaremyfamily,andIloveyouallsomuch.”

Thatlarger-than-lifefeelingfrombeforebloomsonceagaininsideme,thefeelingInowrecognizeas

love,andnotthekindoflovebetweenfriends.No,thisismuchbiggerthanthat,andsoon,whenthetime
isright,I’lltellherso.“Weloveyou,too,”Isaysimply,eventhoughnothingaboutmyfeelingsforheris
simple.Notanymore.IfI’mbeinghonestwithmyself—andIalwaystrytobe—ithasn’tbeensimple
betweenusinalongtime,probablysincetheaftermathofherbreakupwithWayne,whenshewantedme
andonlyme,andtherewasnowhereelseonearthIwould’veratherbeenthanwithherwhensheneeded
me.

ItrynottothinkaboutwhenorhowsheturnedtoBlakeaftertheintensityoftheWaynesituation

wanedandweresumedourlives.Shesaiditdidn’tmeananythingwithhim,andIhavetobelieveher.I
can’tletmyselfthinkaboutherbeingwithanyotherguy,evenmygoodfriend.Butthereagainwas
anotheropportunitywithherthatImissedouton.ShemightnothaveturnedtoBlakeifI’dsteppedupto
bemoretoherthanagoodfriendafterhermarriageimploded.Iwon’tmakethatsamemistakeagain.

Ilikebeingneededbyher.It’sanentirelydifferentpropositionthanbeingneededbymymother,my

sisters,myemployeesorclients,andIhopesheneedsmefortherestofourlives.

“W

CHAPTERELEVEN

hatdoyoufeellikedoingfirstwhenwegettoAustin?”Iaskherafteracomfortableperiodof

silence.

“Ireallyneedtohitthegym,evenifit’sjustforhalfanhour.Ihaven’tworkedoutindays.”
“Youneverhavetotalkmeintothat.”It’sanotherofmanythingswehaveincommon—ourobsessive

commitmenttofitness.

AfterwearriveattheFourSeasonsinAustinandcheckintoourenormous,elegantsuite,wechange

andheaddirectlytothefitnesscenter,wherewespendanhoursweatingoffanyremainingstresswe
broughtwithus.We’veworkedouttogethersooftenthatweexchangefewwordsaswespoteachother
throughtheweightliftingportionoftheprogram,goingthroughthepaceslikethewell-oiledteamweare.

Again,I’mstruckbythefactthatittookmesolongtoacceptthatsheismydestiny.Allthistime,

we’vebeendancingaroundthetruthwhileslowlybutsurelybecomingessentialtoeachother.Iliketo
thinkofmyselfasaprettysharpguy,butthissituationisproofthatIcanbeasobtuseasthenextguywhen
itcomestowomen.OrIsupposeIshouldsaywhenitcomestothewomanwhomattersmost.Therestof
themweren’tallthatmysterioustome.Iknewwhattheywanted,andIgaveittothem.

EverythingisdifferentwithLauren,andthefunnypartisthatitalwayshasbeendifferentwithher.
“RememberthetimeBrucetheDickDickensontippedyourlunchtrayoverinmiddleschool?”Iask

herwhenwe’reintheelevatoronthewaybacktoourtop-floorsuite.

“HowcouldIforget?Yougotsuspendedforbeatinghimupinthecafeteria.”
“I’ddoitagaininaNewYorkminute.Hemadeyoucry.”
“BecauseIdidn’thavethemoneytobuyasecondlunch,andIwasstarving.”Shelooksupatme.

“Whatmadeyourememberthat?”

“Iwasthinkingabouthowfarbackwego,andhowwe’vealwaysbeenspecialfriends.”
“Yes,wehave.Youwerethefirstpersoninmywholelifewhoeverdefendedme.Didyouknow

that?”

I’mstruckdumbbyherheartfeltwords.“No,”Isaygruffly.“Ididn’tknow.”
“Ispentmostofmychildhoodcleaningupmymother’smesses.Shewasneverthereforme.Isawmy

dadonceayear,ifthat.Hewasneverthereforme.ThedayyoubeatupBrucetheDickwasthefirsttime
anyoneeverstuckupforme.I’veneverforgottenit.”

“YouknowwhatIremembermostaboutthat?”
“What?”
“ThatIwantedtokillhimformakingyoucry.Iwastwelve,andIthinkiftheteachershadn’tpulled

meoffhim,Imight’veactuallykilledhim.I’veonlyeverfeltthatwaytwoothertimes,whenWayneput
youinthehospital,andagainlastnight.”

Shewrapsherhandsaroundmyarmsandleansherheadonmyshoulderuntiltheelevatorlandson

ourfloor.

Iopenthedoortoourroomandlethergoinaheadofme.Whenthedoorclicksshutbehindus,Isay,

“Hey,Lo?”

Sheturnstome.“Hmm?”
“IwishI’dnevergivenWaynethechancetohurtyou,thatI’ddonesomething…aboutthis,aboutus…

alongtimeago.”

“Weweren’treadyforthisthen.Wewould’vemesseditup.”
Ishakemyhead.“No,wewouldn’thave.”
Shetakesafewstepstoclosethedistancebetweenus,slidingherarmsaroundmywaist.
Irestmyhandsonhershouldersandgazedownather,feelinglikeI’mtrulyseeingherforthefirst

time,evenafteralltheseyears.

“Youhavealwaysbeenmyhero,Garrett.EvenwhenIwasmarriedtoWayne,youweretheoneI

leanedonbecauseIknewyoulovedmenomatterwhat.”

“Ididloveyou,”Iwhisper.“Idoloveyou.Iloveyousomuch.You’llneverknowhowmuch.”
“I’vealwaysknown,andIloveyoujustasmuch.IhaveforaslongasIcanremember.”Thenshe

kissesme,andIlosemyselfinher,surrenderingtothepulltoherthatistoopowerfultoresist.I’mdone
fightingit.Idon’twanttofight.Ijustwanttomakeherhappyandkeephersafeeverydayfortherestof
ourlives.Asshewrapsherselfaroundmeandnearlybringsmetomykneeswithdesire,everythingelse
fadesawayandthere’sonlyher.

Withoutbreakingthekiss,Iliftherandcarryhertothenearestflatsurface,whichhappenstobethe

diningroomtableinthefancysuite.Ilayheroutonthetableandbendoverher,mycocksnugagainstthe
heatofhercore.Forthefirsttimeinthesixyearssincemyfatherdied,IfeellikeI’mexactlywhereI’m
supposedtobewiththepersonI’msupposedtobewith,andIfinallyhavetheanswerstothemost
importantquestions.

Lauren.
She’stheanswertoeveryquestion.
Ibreakthekissandgazedownather,noticingthatsheseemsasstunnedbythedesirepulsingbetween

usasIam.

“Iprobablystink,”shesayswithawrysmile.
Ishakemyhead.Shealwayssmellsgood,evenwhenshe’ssweaty.“Idefinitelystink.”
“No,youdon’t.”Shesquirmsrestlesslyunderme,lettingmeknowwhatshewantsasbadlyasIdo.

Withonearmproppedonthetable,Iremovehershortsandthenmyown.

“Garrett,”shesays,herurgencyfuelingmine.
Igraspthoseasscheeksthatarethestuffoffantasyandanglehertoacceptmycock.Ipausefora

fractionofasecond,onlylongenoughtomakehermoan,andthenIslamintoher,goingallthewaytothe
hiltinonethrust.

Shecomesimmediately,herfingernailssinkingintomybackandherinternalmusclesmassagingme

intimately.

Iwaitherout,andthenIstarttomove.I’veneverfuckedherashardasIdonowthatI’vegiven

myselfpermissiontoloveher,towanther,toneedher.Ineedhersofuckingbad.Thewordspouroutof
meinafloodofthoughtsandemotionsthatcannolongerbecontained.I,whorarelytalksduringsex,let

gowitheverythoughtinsidemyhead.“Iloveyousofuckingmuch.Everybeatofmyheartisforyou—
onlyyou—anditalwayshasbeen.NoonewilleverloveyouthewayIdo.”

I’mcompletelyoutofcontrol,andthefunnythingis,Iknowitanddon’tcare.Idon’tcarethatI’m

layingmyselfbarebeforeher,surrenderingtothefifteen-yearslowburnthateruptslikefireworksinthe
nightsky.“Iwanttomarryyouandhavebabieswithyouandwatchthemturnintoobnoxiousteenagers
withyou.Iwanteverydayandeverynightandeverymorningwithyou.Iwanttosleepwithyouandmake
lovetoyouandfuckyouanddevouryouandprotectyoufromeverbeinghurtagainandhaveevery
fuckingthingwithyou.”

Abrokensoberuptsfromher,stoppingmeinmytracks.“Baby,don’tcry.Pleasedon’tcry.”
“Youhaven-noideahowlongI’vewaitedtohearyousayth-thosethingstome.OfcourseI’mgoing

tocry.”

Igatherherintomyarms,liftheroffthetableanddropintooneofthechairsthatsurroundthetable.

Shesettlesontopofme,mycockstilldeepinsideherasshegazesdownatme.

“Iloveyou,too.Iloveyouassomuchmorethanmyverybestfriend,andIthinkIhavesinceyoubeat

upBrucetheDickforme.”

Itightenmyholdonherandburymyfaceintheelegantcurveofherneck.“We’vewastedsomuch

time.”

“No,”shesays,“wewerebusygettingtoaplacewherewewerereadyforthis.”
Cuppingherasscheeks,Iliftherslightlyandthenletherdropbackontomycock.Idoitagain,

raisingheralittlehigherthistimebeforelettingherfall.Eachtime,sheexpelsabreathwhenshelands,
andhermusclesflutteraroundmycock.

Tearscontinuetoslidedownhercheeks,andIbrushthemawaywithmylips.
ShegazesintomyeyesasIlookupatherinamomentofutterclarity.AllthistimeI’vebeenrunning

towardsomething,butitwasn’twhatIthoughtitwouldbe.Idon’tneedabigfancycorporatecareerina
cityfarfromhometofeelwhole.No,allIneedisthistinywomanwiththebigpersonality,aheartofgold
andalovethatwilllastforever.

Igrabthebackofthetanktopsheworetothegymandworkitupandoverherheadtogainaccessto

herbreasts.Holdingoneinmyhand,Itakehernippleintomymouthandsuckhard,runningmytongue
backandforthacrossthetighttip.Thecombinationhasherridingmefrantically,chasingherorgasm.I
keepitupuntilherinnermusclesclampdownonmeandtakeusbothflyingoffthecliff,andthistime,the
senseoffallingisthegreatestfeelingI’veeverhad.

I’mfallingforher.Ihavefallenforher,completelyandtotally,andthefalldoesn’tseemsoscary

whenItakeitwithher.

Sheclingstomeintheaftermath,herchesttightagainstmine,herfacewetwithnewtearsthatdampen

myface,too.Ormaybethosearemytears.Whoknows,andwhatdoesitmatter?

“Didyoumeanit?”sheasksinasmallvoiceafteraperiodofsilence.
“Everyword.”
“Garrett,”shesaysonalongexhale.“Youreallywanttomarryme?”
“That’stheveryleastofwhatIwantwithyou,ifyou’llhaveme.”
“IfI’llhaveyou,”shesayswithalaughasshepivotsherhips.“IbelieveIalreadyhaveyou.Right

whereIwantyou.”

Myheartexpandsalmostpainfullyinmychest,testingtheboundariesofthisnewfoundabilitytolove

sogreatly.Untilnow,IhadnoideaIwasevencapableofsuchpowerfulemotions.Growlingplayfully,I
nipherneckandsqueezeherasscheeks.HaveImentionedthatI’mobsessedwithherass?“You’ve
gottenmeverydirty.Howaboutashower?”

“Yes,please.”
Ipickherupandcarryhertothebathroom.

“OhmyGod,”shesaysofthegiantclaw-footedsoakingtubthatoccupieshalfthebathroom.“That

tub!Canwe?”

“Ofcoursewecan.”
Icontinuetoholdheruntilthewateriswarmandthenstepintothetubwithmypreciouscargostillin

myarms.Sheaddssomebubblebathfromthebasketofluxuriousproductsprovidedbythehotelandthen
relaxesintomyembrace.

“Isthisadream?”sheasks.
“No,baby.It’snotadream.It’sadreamcometrue.”Ithinkaboutthedaylongmeetingplannedfor

tomorrowandwonderhoworwhenI’lltellthemit’sallfornaught.Ifeelbadlyforwastingtheirtime,but
Iwould’vefeltworseaboutcancelingatthelastminuteaftertheywenttosomuchtroubletoarrange
everything.

IwanttotellLaurenwhyIreallycametoAustin,butagain,whatdoesitmatterwhenI’mnotgoingto

takethejob?Shedoesn’tneedtoknowthatIeverconsideredleavingMarfaforsomethingbiggeror
supposedlybetterthanwhatIhavethere.Iwouldn’twanthertothinkthatshekeptmefromchasingmy
dreams.Mydreamshavechanged.It’sthatsimple.

Iwashandconditionherhair,andthenshedoesthesameformewithscrupulousattentiontodetail.
“Whatkindofaweddingdoyouwant?”Iaskher.
Thequestioncauseshertofreeze,hergazeshiftingtomeetmine,asiftocheckwhetherI’mforreal.

I’msoforreal.I’veneverbeenmoreforrealinmylife.“I…um,Idon’tcare.Whateveryouwant.”

“Noway.Don’tdothat.Youknowexactlywhatyouwantandyouprobablyhaveforyears.Spillit.”
“IfIcouldhaveanythingIwanted—”
“Youcan.”
“I’dwanttodoitatthePaisano,”shesays,referringtothelocalhotelthatisanationalhistoric

landmark.“I’vedeliveredflowerstocountlessweddingsthere,andeverytime,Ipicturemyownwedding
theresomeday,whichissillysinceI’vealreadybeenmarried.”

“TyingtheknotwithWaynefuckingPetersonatthecourthousedoesn’tcountasawedding.”
“No,butunfortunately,themarriagewaslegal.BiggestmistakeIevermade.Youknowthat,right?I

nevershould’vemarriedhimorevendatedhim.Butyouwereawayatcollege,andIcouldn’tlivewith
mymomanymore.Ijustcouldn’t.Heseemedlikeabetteralternative.”

“Igetit,babe.I’vealwaysunderstoodthewhyofit,evenifitbrokemyhearttohearyou’dmarried

him.”

“Ineverintendedforthattohappen.Ididn’tknowyouthoughtofmethatway.IfIhad,everything

would’vebeendifferent.”

“Webothhaveourregrets,Lo.Ishould’vesaidsomething.DoyouknowhowmanytimesI’vethought

aboutChristmasbreakmysenioryearofcollegewhenyoutoldmehe’daskedyououtandIdidn’tsay
anything?Ishould’vetoldyouthennottogooutwithhim,butmylifewasstillagiganticquestionmarkat
thattime.IhadnoideawhereIwasgoingtoenduporifIwasgoingtogetagoodjoboranything.I
didn’tthinkitwouldbefairtotellyoutowaituntilIworkedoutmyshit.”

“Iwould’vewaited,”shesays,tippingherheadbacksoshecanseeme.“Ifyou’dgivenmethe

slightestencouragement,Iwould’vewaitedforyou.”

“I’msorrythatIdidn’t.MyonlyexcuseisthatIwasyounganddumbandthoughtIhadallthetimein

theworldtoworkthingsoutwithyou.Therewasneveratime,evenwhenIdatedotherpeople,thatyou
weren’trightthere,inthebackofmymindlikethepotofgoldattheendoftherainboworsomethinglike
that.”

“Awww,that’ssosweet.”
Iscowlather.“Iamnotsweet.”
“YouareifIsayyouare.Andnotonlyareyousweet,you’repoetic,too.I’mthepotofgoldattheend

ofyourrainbow.”

Imakedramaticgaggingnoisesthatcrackherup.“Shootmenow.”
“No,thankyou.I’dmuchratherkissyou.”
“I’dbefinewiththat.”
Sheturnsovertofaceme,andIholdhercloseforasoft,sweetkissthathasmyheartracingandmy

cockthrobbingonceagain.Howdoesshedothatsoeasily?Isweepthewethairbackfromherface.“Did
youeverpicturethegroomatyourPaisanoweddingorjustthedressandflowers?”

“IneverdaredtopicturetheonemanIwould’vechosenifIcouldhaveanyoneIwanted.”
“Whynot?”
“Iwasafraidtogothere,likeImightjinxitorsomething.”
“DoIknowthisguy?”
Shelaughs—hard—andIfallevenfurtherthanIalreadyhave.IkeepthinkingI’vereachedthefull

potentialofhowfarIcanpossiblyfallonlytodiscoverthere’smore.Somuchmore.

Herfingerssiftthroughmyhair,straighteningit.“Hehasthemostgorgeousdarkhairandeyesso

browntheyalmostlookblackuntilthesunhitsthemjustso,andthenyoucanseethespecklesofgold.His
skinisalwaystanned,eveninthemiddleofwhatpassesforwinterinWestTexas.Hehasmusclesontop
ofhismuscles.He’ddoanythingforanyoneandhasproventhattimeandagainwiththewayhetakescare
ofhisfamilyandfriends,alwaysputtingtheneedsofothersaheadofhisown.He’ssosmartthathis
clientscan’timaginehavingtoruntheirbusinesseswithouthishelp.Andontopofallthat,he’sthe
sexiest,sweetest,bestmanI’veeverknown,andI’vebeeninlovewithhimsincethesixthgradewhenhe
beatupthebullywhomademecry.”

Nothinginmylifehaseverhumbledmemorethanshejustdid.“He’saveryluckymantohavehad

someonelikeyoulovehimforsolong.”

Sheshakesherhead.“I’mtheluckyone.”
“We’rebothlucky.”IkissheragainandnoticehowmuchdifferentitfeelstokisshernowthatIknow

shelovesmeandsheknowsIloveher.It’sbigger,somehow,greater…“SoaweddingatthePaisanoas
soonaspossible?”

Shenods.“Thatwouldbeperfect.”
“I’llgetyouaring,andwe’llmakeitofficial.Soon.”
“Youdon’thaveto.Let’sspendthemoneyonthewedding.”
“Youcanhaveboth,andIwantyoutohavearing.”
“Wherewillwelive?Yourplaceormine?”
“Eitherisfinewithme,orwecansellthembothandgetsomethingtogether.Whateveryouwant.”
“Areyoualwaysgoingtobethisagreeable?”
“Areyoualwaysgoingtobemywife?”
“That’sthegoal.”
“Thenyes,aslongasyou’remywife,I’llbeyouragreeablehusband.”
“Myhusband,”shesaysonalongsighasshelaysherheadonmyshoulder.“Ican’tbelievethisis

happening.”

“Believeit,baby.We’regoingtohaveitall,everythingyou’veeverwantedandthingsyouhaven’t

evendreamedofyet.”Iwoulddoeverythingwithinmypowertomakesureofthat.

“Whataboutbabies?”sheasksinthesmallvoicethat’sfartooreminiscentofthemonthsthat

followedWayne’sattack.

“Asmanyasyouwant.AndIdon’twantyoutoeverbeafraidtoaskmeforanything.Youownme.

Youalwayshave.I’monlysorryittookmesolongtofigurethatout.”

“Thiswasthewayitwasmeanttobe.Ibelievethat.”
“Ineedtogetyououtofthistubbeforeyouturnintoapruneonme.”

“Wecan’thavethat.”
Shegetsupfirst,andIfollowherintotheshowertorinseoffthebubbles.ThenIwrapherinabig

whitefluffytowelandthoroughlydryher.

“I’mgoingtodrymyhairrealquick,orit’llbehuge.”
“Ilikeyourhairhuge.”
“SaidonlyamanfromTexas.”
“Youknowit,darlin’,”Isayinanexaggerateddrawl.“Welikeourwomeneasy,withbigbreastsand

biggerhair.”

Shesnapsthetowelatmeandjustmissesmyjunk.“Pig.”
Laughing,Ijumpoutofthewayandcoverthefamilyjewelswithmyowntowel.“Ifyouwantbabies,

sweetheart,you’dbetterbenicetomyboys.”Westandtogetheratthevanity,meshavingwhileshedries
herhair—naked.Ican’ttakemyeyesoffherbeautifultits,whichjigglewitheverymoveshemakes,andit
takesalotofmovementtodryherlonghair.

“You’regoingtocutyourselfagainifyoukeepstaringatmeratherthanthemirror.”
“I’dsomuchratherstareatyourluscioustitsthanmyuglymug.”
“I’mquitefondofyouruglymug,andIdon’twantanymoreblood.Payattentiontowhatyou’redoing

withthatrazor.”

It’sallso…domestic.Eventhoughwe’refarfromhome,shemayaswellalreadybemywifeforthe

wayshekeepsmecenteredandgrounded.That’saroleshe’splayedforyearswithoutmeevenrealizing
it.Ifeelsortofstupidthatittookmesolongtoopenmyeyestowhatwasrightinfrontofme.

Mydadusedtosaywecan’tchangethepast.Allwehaveisrightnow.Makethemostofit.That’s

whatIintendtodo.“Youwanttogoouttoeatororderroomservice?”

“Wouldyoucareifwestayedin?”
“I’dactuallypreferit.We’regoingouttomorrownightanyway.”
“Where’rewegoing?”
“TheAustinCountryClub.”
“Whoaretheseclients?”
“It’sahigh-techfirmlookingforapointofcontactinMarfaandthesurroundingarea.”IrealizeafterI

sayitthatI’vetoldheradifferentstorythanItoldBlake.I’mdiggingaholeformyselfthatcouldgetme
introubleifI’mnotcareful.

“Ah,Isee.Niceofthemtoputusupinsuchhighstylefortheweekend.”
“Uh-huh.”Thiswouldbeagoodtimetotellherwhywe’rereallyhere,butIstilldon’twantherto

knowthatIwassointentonleavingMarfathatIwentsofarastohireaheadhunter.Ithinkthatwouldhurt
her,andIcan’tdothattoher.I’mgoingtoturndowntheirofferandthankthemforaniceweekend.No
harm,nofoul.That’stheplan.

Weenjoyadeliciousdinnerdeliveredtoourroomandwatchamovieinbedthatdoesn’tholdmy

interest.HowcoulditwhenLaurenissoftandfragrantandnakedinabedwithme?Irunmyhandupand
downherarm,smilingattheoutbreakofgoosebumpsthathaveherquivering.

“Quitticklingme,”shesays,herbreathwarmagainstmychest.
“I’mnotticklingyou.I’mtouchingyou.”
“Samething.”Herdramaticyawnisareminderthatshe’stired,andIshouldleaveheralone,butnow

thateverythingissettledbetweenus,IwantherevenmorethanIdidbefore.Ilightlydragmyfingertips
overherarm,knowingthatwilldefinitelytickleher.“Garrett!”

“Hmm?”
“Stop!”
“Makeme.”
Shesurprisesthehelloutofmewhenshepounces,grabbingmyhandsandpinningthemovermyhead

whilecrushingherbreaststomychest.

“Isthatsupposedtodiscourageme?”Iask,raisingmyhipstoshowherwhatherdemonstrationhas

caused.

“Doesheevertakeabreak?”
“Notwhenyou’renakedandanywherenearhim.”
“Isupposeyoudon’tgetareputationforbeingasexgodwithouthavingalotofsex.”
“Youknowit,baby,soyou’dbetterprotectmyreputationbyseeingtohimwheneverhe’sfeeling

needy.”

Sherollshereyes.“IsthatwhatkindofwifeyouthinkI’mgoingtobe?”
“Hellyes.Youhavemeatyourmercy.Attheveryleast,youshouldbe…merciful.”
“Isthatright?”
“Uh-huh.”God,thisisfun.IfeellikeI’vehitthejackpotbecauseIgettohaveasleepoverwithmy

verybestfriendeverynightfortherestofmylife.Ipullatthetightholdshehasonmyarms,encouraging
hertoreleaseme,butshedoublesdownandslidesherdampheatovermyhardcock.“Lauren…”

“Yes?”
“Comeon…”
“Issomeonefeelingeager?”
“Explosiveismorelikeit.”
“Soit’sokayforyoutoteaseme,butit’snotokaywhenIdoit?”
“Exactly.”
Shelaughs,andthelightthatinfusesherprettyeyesstopsmyheart.Ilovewhenshe’shappyand

laughingandteasingme.“Isthiswhatyouwant?”Shelowersherselfontomycock,surroundingmy
sensitivefleshwithhertightwetheat.

“Yeah,”Igasp,desperatelytryingtohangontomycontrolassheshredsmewitheverymoveofher

hips,everydragofhernipplesovermychest.Thesensationscomeatmefastandfurious.Thisisgoingto
beoverbeforeitbeginsunlessIcantakecontrol.Ibreakfreeofherholdandwrapmyarmsaroundher,
turningussoI’montopofher.

“Hey!Nofair.Youcan’tjustoverpowermelikethat.”
“Iwon’tmakeahabitofit,”Isaythroughgrittedteeth.“Ipromise.”Ihookmyarmsunderherlegs,

openinghertomyfiercepossession.Ipinchherleftnipplebetweenmyfingersandplacethethumbofmy
otherhandonherclit,pressingitintimewithmydeepthrusts.

ThepositionrendersherhelplesstodoanythingotherthantakewhatI’mdolingout.Herbodyis

angledupward,whichallowsmetogoevendeeper.IremaindeeplyembeddedinherasIpinchher
nippleandmanipulateherclit.Thecombinationhashergaspingandtremblingmadly.Idon’tletup,
playingherbodylikeamaestrountilshescreamsfromtheorgasmthatripsthroughher.

Herpussyclampsdownonmycocksohard,Iseestars,butIdon’tletmyselfgo.Rather,Ipower

throughthestormofherreleasewithoutgivingintomyown.Shereturnstomeinstages.First,adeep
breath,thenasighandfinallyaflutteroflashesassheopenshereyestolookupatmewithwonderand
satisfaction.

“Wow,”shesaysonawhisperyexhale.
“Wowisright.Howaboutanotherone?”
“Idon’tthinkIcan.”
“Isthatachallenge?”
Shegroansandwrapsherarmsaroundme,encouragingmewithherlegsaroundmyhipsandher

fingersinmyhair.“Iknowbetterthantochallengeyou.”

Ilaughandnearlylosemygrooveforasecondbeforerecoveringmymojo.I’mdeterminedtocoax

anotherorgasmfromherbeforeIlethersleep.Thistime,Iusemywordstocajoleher.“Ican’tbelieve

youthoughtforonesecondyouweren’tgoodatthis.You’resotightandhotandwet.Yourpussygrabsmy
cocklikeagloveandsqueezes.IhavetofighttonotcomeeverysecondI’minsideyou.”Igraspherass
andpoundintoher.“Icouldfuckyouallnightandnevergetenoughofhowitfeelstobeinsideyou.I
wanttospendentiredaysdoingnothingbutthis.”

Aflushofheattravelsfromherbreaststoherface.Herlipspart,andherbreathcatches.Sensingshe’s

close,Ipropmyselfupononearmandusemyfreehandtoreachbetweenustocoaxher.Ittakesonlyone
brushofmyfingeroverherclittosendherflying.

Mynameescapesherlipslikeabroken-soundingoath.
Iclosemyeyes,burymyfaceinthefragrantsilkofherhairandletgo.Theforceofmyreleaseleaves

meshakinglikeanewbornintheaftermath.

Lauren’shandsonmybacksootheandcomfortmeasItrytorecovermybearings.
Christhavemercy.
“Yourreputationisverywellearned.”
HercommentmakesmelaughevenasItrytosuckgreedybreathsintomyair-starvedlungs.“Iwasin

trainingforyou.”

“Thattrainingisovernow.Yougotme?”
“Iwillneveragaintouchanyonebutyou.”
“Promise?”
Iraisemyheadtomeethergazeandnod.“EasiestpromiseI’llevermake.IfIhaveyou,Ihave

everythingIneed.”

Shelooksupatmewithherheartinhereyes.“Samegoes.”
I’matoncerelievedandeuphoricandhopeful,morehopefulthanI’vebeeninthesixlongyearssince

mylifetookasuddenandunexpecteddetour.Inherarms,I’mfinallybackontrackandrightwhereI
belong.

A

CHAPTERTWELVE

tninethenextmorning,IleaveLaurensleepinginthesuitewithawake-upcallsetforninethirty
soshecaneatthebreakfastIorderedherbeforeherspaappointmentsbeginattenthirty.Inthe

lobby,ImeetthedriverwhowassenttoretrievemeanddelivermetotheAustinheadquartersofSocial-
NET.Thecompanyhasrevolutionizedsocialmediamanagementwithitsall-in-oneappthatallowsthe
usertobepresentonallplatformssimultaneously.

I’vereadeverywordthat’sbeenwrittenaboutthecompany,itsproprietarytechnologyandthe

staggeringprojectionsfortheinitialpublicofferingexpectedearlynextyear.Atanyothertimeinmylife,
I’dwanttobepartoftheexcitingfutureofthiscompany.Butallatonce,myfutureislookingplenty
excitingwithoutamajorcareermovethrownintothemix.

Thehardsellbeginswiththedriver,whopointsoutavarietyoflandmarksandsellingpointsonthe

waytotheglassofficetowerinDowntownAustin.Marilyn,Mr.Dutton’spretty,dark-hairedassistant,
whoisyoungerthanIthoughtshe’dbe,greetsmeinthelobbywithafirmhandshakeandanenthusiastic
welcome.

“We’resohappytohaveyouwithustoday,”shesaysaswewalktowardabankofelevatorswhere

sheusesherbadgetogainaccesstothetopfloors.

“Thanksforhavingme.Beforewegotoomuchfurther,IwonderedifIcouldpossiblyhaveaprivate

wordwithMr.Dutton.”

“We’reactuallyonaprettytightschedulethismorning.I’dbehappytoseeifIcouldgetyousome

timealonewithhimafterlunch.”

Isageversoslightlyagainstthebackoftheelevator,resignedtogoingthroughthemotionsbeforeI

getthechancetotellthemthatthisisn’tgoingtohappen.

Thedayunfoldslikeanaturaldisaster,oratleastthat’showitseemstome.Theyaredeterminedto

blowmeaway,andtheynearlysucceed.I’mdazzledbythepeopleImeet,thepresentations,thesales
pitch,thefacilitiesandtheR&Dthat’sbeingdonetofurtherexpanduponthetechnology.It’s
overwhelmingandinterestingandsobloodytemptingthatInearlyforgetmyresolvetosaythanksbutno
thanks.

Acateredlunchisprovidedtotheentireteam,whoincludemeintheirconversationsasifI’manold

friendwho’sbeeninvitedtospendthedaywiththemratherthanapotentialemployee.Ilikeeveryoneof

them.They’remykindofpeople—smart,ambitious,funny,cleverandyoung.Thedayislikeasurreal
renditionofIt’saWonderfulLife,alookatwhatmylifemight’vebeenlikehadmyfathernotdropped
dead.

Andthenit’sdowntoGeraldDuttonandme,aloneinhismassivecornerofficewithitspanoramic

viewoftheColoradoRiver.He’sinhisfiftieswithsilverhairandvividblueeyesthatcracklewith
intelligenceandhumorandunexpectedwarmth.IlikehimasmuchasIlikeeveryoneelseI’vemettoday.

“Well,”hesays,handingmeaglassofbourbonashejoinsmeinthesittingareaofhismassiveoffice.

“Whatdoyouthinkofmyteam?”

“Theword‘impressive’doesn’tdothemjustice.”
Judgingbythebigsmilethatlightsuphisaffableface,heispleasedbymyassessment.“Couldn’t

agreemore.”

“Mr.Dutton…”
“CallmeJerry.Please.”
“Thankyou.Jerry…Thishasbeenatrulyincredibleday.Mymindiswellandtrulyblown.”
“Thenwe’vedoneourjobs,”hesays.“Beforeyougoanyfurther,takealookatthis.”Hehandsmea

folderthatcontainsanofferletter.AbasesalaryofonemillionperyearwithstockoptionstiedtotheIPO
thatalonewouldmakemeaveryrichman.I’mspeechless.Icanonlystareatthesinglesheetofpaper
thatofferseverythingI’dbeenlookingforinapotentialexecutive-levelposition—andmuchmorethanI’d
daredtohopefor.

“Whyme?”Iaskhim.Evenifit’snotgoingtohappen,Istillwanttoknowwhatdrewhimtome.
“Longbeforetherecruiterreachedouttous,I’dreadaboutthesuccessyou’vemadeofyourfather’s

company.Likeyou,Ilostmyfatheratacriticaljunctureinmylife,andIknowwhatit’sliketofeelset
adriftbythelossofmyanchor.EverythingI’vedonesincethenhasbeenwiththegoalofmakinghim
proudinthebackofmymind.I’msureyoucanrelatetothat.”

“Ican,”Isaygruffly,takenabackbyhisinsightasmuchashisthoroughness.
“Ineedsomeonelikeyouonmyteam,Garrett.ThelasttwoCFOswehiredhaven’thadthevisionor

thedriveIneedinthatposition.You’veturnedasmall-townpracticeintoathrivingbusinessinaplace
whereopportunitiesarelimited.IfyoucandothatinMarfa,imaginewhat’spossibleinAustin.”

I’mseducedbyhisconfidenceinme,hisobviousdesiretoworkwithmeandhispraiseofwhatI’ve

accomplished.There’ssomethingalmostpaternalaboutitthatspeakstomeinaplacethat’sbeenhungry
forpaternalapprovalforsixlong,lonelyyears.

“Takeaweek…Hell,taketwoweeksifthat’swhatyouneed.Thinkitoverfromeveryanglebefore

youdecideanything.”

NowwouldbeagreattimetolethimknowI’vedecidedtomarrytheloveofmylife,whoownsa

thrivingbusinessofherowninMarfaandwon’twanttomovetoAustin,oranywhereelseforthatmatter.
Butevenasthethoughtsswirlthroughmymind,Ican’tbringmyselftoturnhimdownwhenhe’ssitting
threefeetfromme.

“Mywife,Monica,andIarelookingforwardtotakingyouandyourfriendtodinnertonight.Wehave

seveno’clockreservationsattheAustinCountryClub.Ihopethatsuitsyou.”

IshouldtellhimthatLaurenismyfiancée,notjustmyfriend.“Itsoundsgreat.IfIcouldaskafavor,

though.”

“Ofcourse.”
“Couldwekeepdinnerstrictlysocial?IneedsometimetotalktoLaurenaboutyouroffer.”
“Absolutely.That’snoproblematall.”
“Thankyouforeverything.You’vedefinitelygivenmeplentytothinkabout.”
“Excellent.Isthereanythingyou’dliketodowhileyou’rehere?Icangetyouticketstojustabout

anything.”

“ThereisonethingI’dlovetodo.”
“Nameit.”
“Ineedanengagementring.”
Hisfacelightsupwithdelight.“Congratulations.”
“Thankyou.”
“Ihavejusttheguy.”Hewithdrawshiscellphoneandscrollsthroughhiscontactsbeforeplacinga

call.“Henry,it’sJerry.Ihaveacolleagueintownwho’sinneedofanengagementring.Canyoufithimin
thisafternoon?”Helistensforabriefmomentandthennods.“Perfect.I’llsendMr.GarrettMcKinley
rightover.Thanksalot.”Afterheendsthecall,hesays,“I’llhavethedrivertakeyouthereontheway
backtothehotel,ifthatworksforyou.”

Assomeonewhoadmirespeoplewhogetshitdone,I’masimpressedbyhimasIwasbytherestof

histeam.Thetoneatthetopclearlyresonatesinthiscompany.“Thatworksforme.Appreciatethatand
everythingelse.”Withthefoldercontainingtheofferinhand,Irisetoleavehisoffice.

Hewalksmetotheelevatorandshakesmyhand.“I’llseeyoutonight.”
“Yes,I’llseeyouthen.Thankyouagainforanincredibleday.”
“Itwasourpleasure.”
Ontheelevatorridetothelobby,IfindmyselfthinkingaboutatripmyfamilytooktoGalvestonwhen

Iwasabouteight.Lolawasatoddler,andmymomwaspregnantwithSierra.Tommy,ColbyandIloved
ourfirstvisittothebeachandhadspenthoursdiggingholesandfillingthemwithwaterunderthe
watchfuleyeofourfather.Wespentaweekthere,andeverydaywebecamemorebrazenandfearless
aroundthewaterasonlyboyswhodon’tknowbettercando.

Onthelastday,IgotcaughtinaripcurrentthatdraggedmeoutsofastthatIdidn’thavetimetoreact

beforeIwasinwaterovermyhead.IcanstillrememberthemomentwhenIrealizedIwasinbigtrouble
andthesheerpanicthathadgrippedmebeforemydadreachedmeandsavedmefromgoingunder.

TheonlyothertimeI’veeverfeltpanicquitelikethatwasyearslaterwhenhediedandIwasforced

topickupthereinsatthebusinessthatsupportedusall.IntheelevatorwithDutton’smillion-dollaroffer
withstockoptionstuckedundermyarm,mychestconstrictswiththesamesenseofpanicI’ve
experiencedtwicebefore.

Inevershould’vecomehere.Ishouldn’thaveletthemshowmewhatmight’vebeen.Iwasfarbetter

offnotknowing.

ThedriveriswaitingformeoutsideandopensthedoortotheblackCadillacsedan.“Itrustyouhada

niceday,sir.”

“Idid.Thankyou.”
Hedrivesashortdistancebeforetakingaseriesofturnsthatdepositsusintoanondescriptparking

lot.Hepointstoadoor.“Ringthebell.They’reexpectingyou.”

“Thankyou.”
“Mypleasure,sir.”
Iringthebellandwaitlessthanaminutebeforethedooropenstoadmitmeintoaroomthatlooks

morelikesomeone’sparlorthanaretailstore.I’mofferedrefreshments,whichIdecline.Lessthanfive
minuteslater,amaninablacksuitcomesintotheroomcarryingseveralcasesthatheplacesonthetable
beforeextendinghishand.“Mr.McKinley,I’mHenryBanks.”

Ishakehishand.“Thankyouforseeingmeonsuchshortnotice.”
“AnyfriendofJerryDutton’sisafriendofmine.Iunderstandyou’reinthemarketforanengagement

ring.”

“That’sright.”
“Who’stheluckylady?Tellmealittleabouther.”
HowtosummarizethemagicthatisLaureninafewwords?“Laurenis…She’ssweetandfiercely

loyaltothepeoplesheloves.She’stoughontheoutsidebutsoftontheinside.”Onceagain,aswellof
emotiontakesmebysurpriseandleavesalumpinmythroat.Ioughttobeusedtothatafterthe
overabundanceoffeelingsI’vehadforherlately,butitstillcatchesmeoffguardeverytime.“Shehasthe
biggestheartandisatalentedfloristand…She’sbeenmyverybestfriendsincewewereinthesixth
grade.”

“YouknowwhatIloveaboutyourdescription?”
Iclearthelumpofemotionfrommythroat.“What’sthat?”
“Younevermentionedherphysicalappearance.MostguysIworkwithstartwithappearancewhenI

askthemthatquestion.Iliketothinkit’sasignofasuccessfulunionwhenhowshelooksisthelastthing
youthinkofwhendescribingthewomanyoulove.”

Hiscommentpleasesme.Iliketothinkourunionwillbesuccessful.Ican’timagineanyother

outcomeforus.“Justtobeclear,”Isaywithasmile,“she’sstunninglybeautiful.”

Hereturnsmysmile.“Ihadnodoubt.Let’sfindsomethingasbeautifulassheistosealthedeal,shall

we?”

“Yes,please.”

Anhourlater,Ileavethejewelerswithathree-caratdiamondringandastaggeringarrayofinformation
aboutdiamondclarity,cut,caratandcolor.IwantonlythebestforLauren,soItookmytimedecidingon
asolitairewithawraparoundbandofsmallerdiamonds.BecauseIwanthertobeabletowearitallthe
time,evenwhenshe’sworking,Iwascarefultoensurethestoneisserviceableandwon’tcatchon
everythingthatitcomesintocontactwith.

Ican’twaittogiveittoherandseehereyeslightupwithjoy.Anticipatingthatreactionmakesmy

heartbeatquickenandmybodytinglewithloveanddesireandexcitementforwhat’saheadforus.

WhenIgetbacktoMarfa,I’llletJerryknowthatasdazzledasIambyhiscompany—andhim—I

havetopassonhisgenerousoffer.Mylife—andLauren’s—isinMarfa,andthat’swherewe’llbestaying
afterwe’remarried.Itwasnicetobewanted,tobecourted,torecallatimeinmylifewhenanythingwas
possible.ButI’vemovedon.Ihaveathrivingbusinesswithclientswhoneedmeandemployeeswho
dependuponme.WhileIwasbusyfeelingtrappedinMarfa,Iwasalsobuildingalifetherethathas
becomeathousandtimesmoresatisfyingnowthatLaurenandIareanofficialcouple.

IcanpictureourlifethereinawaythatIcouldn’teventwoweeksago.Havingherbymysideandin

mybedhassilencedthedisquietI’velivedwithsinceIwasforcedtocomehometotakeovermyfather’s
business.Thebitternessisgone.Theresentmentisgone.Thecravingneedforsomethingelse,something
better,isgone.I’mfinallycontent,andit’sallbecauseofher.

Thedriverdropsmeoffatthemainentrancetothehotelandtellsmehe’llbebacktocollectusfor

dinneratsixforty-five.

“I’llseeyouthen,”IsayasIheadintothelobby,checkingmywatchtoseethatwehavetwohours

untilourpickup.ThatoughttobejustenoughtimeforwhatIhaveinmind.Ican’twaittohearwhatshe
thoughtofthespaandwhethershegottothepool.OnthewayhometoMarfatomorrow,I’lltellherthe
truthaboutwhywecamehereandwhatI’vediscoveredasaresult.I’llhavetoframeitinsuchawaythat
sheunderstandsIwasmerelytestingthewaters,notactuallyplanningtoleaveMarfa.

I’lltellhereverythingabouthowIreallyfeltaboutinheritingthefamilybusinessandhavingtoputmy

ownambitionsonholdforallthistime.I’msureshe’llunderstandmyneedforclosure,oratleastIhope
shewill.UnderneathmydeterminationtobetruthfulwithherisagnawingfearthathearingI’dgonesofar
astoengageaheadhunterandattendaninterviewinAustinwithouttellingheraboutitwillhurther.
Hopefully,it’llmakeadifferencewhenItellherI’veneverspokenaboutanyofthiswithanyone.For

somereason,I’moddlyfearfulofsharingthisinformationwithher,butIshakeoffthoseunsettling
thoughtstofocusonhappierthingslikegivinghertheringIchoseforher.

Ienterthesuiteandimmediatelyremovemytieandsuitcoat,layingthembothoverachairinthe

salonbeforegoingintothebedroom,whereLaureniscurledintoalittleballinthemiddleofthebigbed,
fastasleep.Itakeaminutetojustdrinkherinwhilerecallingmydescriptionofherastoughonthe
outsidebutsoftontheinside.

She’swearingoneofthethickwhiterobesprovidedbythehotel,andInoticehertoenailshavebeen

paintedbrightredatsomepointduringthehourswespentapart.IdebatewhetherIshouldlethersleepor
letherknowI’mback.Idecideonacompromise,andafterplacingtheringboxonthebedsidetable,I
unbuttonmyshirt,pullitoffandthenremovemyshoes,socksandsuitpants.Icrawlinnexttoher,
wrappingmyarmaroundherwaistandbreathinginadeliciousnewscentthatIassumeisfromthespa.
It’soakyandearthywithovertonesofeucalyptusmaybe.Whateveritis,mycockmostdefinitely
approves.

BecauseIcan’thelpmyself,Icarefullyuntiethebeltthat’scinchedaroundherwaistanddipmyhand

insidetolieflatagainstthewarm,silkyskinonherbelly.Ofcoursethat’snotnearlyenough,soIsmooth
myhandupuntilIencountersoft,pliablebreast.ShecomestowhenIrunmythumboverthehardenedtip
ofhernipple.

“Ireallyhopeyou’reGarrett,orI’minbigtrouble,”shesaysinahusky,sexyvoicethatgoesstraight

tomyalready-hardcock.

“Whoelsewoulditbe?”
“Therewasthisreallysexybellmanwhocaughtmyeyeearlier.”
Ipinchhernipplehardenoughtogetherattentionwithoutcausingactualpain.
Shegiggles,andIsmileatthesoundofherlaughter.
“Howwasyourday,dear?”Iask.
“Delightful.Yours?”
“Itwasgood,butitjustgotawholelotbetter.Yousmellamazing,andyourskinislikesilk.”
“Iwasverythoroughlypampered.”
“That’sgreat,sweetheart.Youdeserveit.”
“Idon’tknowaboutthat,butIsuredidloveit.Thanksforinvitingme.”
“Thanksforcomingwithme.Itwouldn’thavebeenanyfunwithoutyou.”
“Whattimeisdinner?”
“Ourpickupisintwohours.Isetthealarmonmyphoneforthirtyminutesbeforesowedon’thaveto

watchtheclock.”

“Whatdoyoufeellikedoinguntilthen?Youwanttogotothepoolortakeanaporwhat?”
She’sgivenmetheperfectopeningforwhatIwanttodo.
“Stayrightthereforaminute.”Iremovemyhandfrominsideherrobeandretrievetheringboxfrom

thebedsidetable.“Turnover.”

Shegathersthetwosidesoftherobeinherhandassheturnstowardme.Herfaceisadorablyflushed

fromsleep,andIhavetokissher,justonce.Oncebecomestwicewhenherhandlandsonmyface,
disarmingmewithhersweetness.

“Hithere,”shesayswithasexysmile.
“Hi.”Ikissheragain.“Missedyoutoday.”
“Mmm,me,too,butIwaskeptverywelloccupiedwhileyouweregone.”
Inarrowmybrows.“Tellmeyourmasseusewasn’taguy.”
“Um,well,Ihatetotelllies…”
WhatdoesitsayabouthowfargoneIamoverherthatthethoughtofanotherman’shandsonher,even

inaprofessionalcapacity,infuriatesme?

“SoIcan’ttellyouthatmymasseusewasaguybecausehewasashe.”
Ibreatheasighofrelief.“It’sagoodthing.I’dhatetohavetohunthimdownandkickhisassfor

daringtoputhishandsonmywoman.”

“Down,boy.It’sallgood.”
“Isit?Areyouhappy,Lo?”
“Howcanyouaskmethat?”Shestrokesmyfacetenderly,herfingertipsslidingovermyskin.“I’mso

happy.Alldaytoday,Ijustkeptthinkingaboutlastnightandthethingswetalkedabout,theplanswe
made.Ican’tbelievethisishappening.”

“Believeit.It’shappening,andsoisthis.”Iopenmyhandtorevealtheblackvelvetbox.
Hereyeswidenandthenfillwithtears.“Garrett…”
“Openit.”
Shelooksupatme,almostasifshe’smakingsureI’mforrealandthentakesthebox,herhand

tremblingeversoslightly.“Ineedtositupforthis.”Asshedoes,therobefallsopen,revealingthedeep
valleybetweenherbreasts.Idon’tallowmyselftobesidetracked.Ikeepmyattentiononherface,which
lightsupwithpleasureatthesightoftheringI’vechosenforher.

Tearsfloodhereyesandspilldownhercheeksasshestaresatit.
“Youlikeit?”
Shelaughsandusesthesleeveoftherobetomopuphertears.“OfcourseIdo.It’sincredible.”
Irisetomyknees,taketheboxfromherandraisemyhandtoherface.“LaurenDavies,loveofmy

lifesincethesixthgrade,willyoudometheenormoushonorofbeingmywife?”

“Yes,”shesaysthroughmoretears.Shethrowsherselfatme,butI’mreadyforher,catchingherand

holdinghertightagainstme.

“Areyousure?”Iaskteasingly.
“I’mvery,verysure.Areyou?”
Gazingdownatherlovelytearstainedface,I’veneverbeenmoresureofanythinginmyentirelife.

“Yeah,baby.I’msure.”Ikissherwhileworkingtheringfreeoftheboxbehindherback.Ibreakthekiss
butonlysoIcanslidetheringontoherlefthand.Iguessedatthesize,andI’mrelievedtoseethatIgotit
right.It’saperfectfit.

“It’ssobeautiful,”shewhispers.
“I’mgladyoulikeit.”
“Iloveit,butareyousureit’snottoomuch?Idon’tneed—”
Ikissthewordsrightoffherlips.“It’stheringIwantyoutohave,butonlyifyou’rehappywithit.”
“I’mhappy.I’mveryhappy.”
“ThenIam,too.”Iliebackdownandinvitehertojoinme,watchingassheshimmiesoutoftherobe

andtossesitaside.AsIputmyarmaroundher,Isay,“Waituntileveryoneathomehearsournews.”

“Idon’tthinkthey’llbethatsurprised.”
“No?”
Sheshakesherheadandlooksupatme.“AccordingtoHoney,they’vebeenwaitingforustofigure

outthatwe’remeanttobe.”

“Seriously?”Iask,astounded.
“Uh-huh.Apparently,wefinisheachother’ssentences,alwayssittogetherinagroupandlaughatthe

samethings.Youholddoorsformeandgenerallydoteonme.”

“Ido?”
“Youdo,andI’mnottheonlyonewho’snoticed.”
“Doyouthinkit’sweirdthatittookussolongtogettowherewearenow?”
“No,Ithinkitwasourjourney,anditunfoldedthewayitwasmeantto.Iwouldn’thavebeenready

forthisbeforenow,andIsuspectyouwouldn’thavebeeneither.”

“Probablynot,”Iconcede,turningsoI’montopofher,gazingdownatherlovelyface.“ButI’mready

now.”

“Icantell,”shesayswithasaucygrinasshepushesherpelvisagainstmyhardcock.
“Seriously,Lo.I’mreadyforyou,forus,forthis.Iloveyousomuch.Ialwayshave,butnow…”
“Nowit’ssomuchmore,”shesays,finishingmysentenceforme.
Nodding,IholdoureyecontactasIkissher,softlyatfirstandthenwithgreaterdesperationasthe

desireI’mlearningtoexpectwhenwe’retogetherthiswaykicksinandtakesover.It’ssonaturaland
easywithher.Wemovelikewe’vebeendoingthisforyearsratherthandays.

IwatchherfaceasIslideintoher,movingslowlytodrawouttheanticipationforbothofus.Her

expressionissorawandunguardedandfilledwithlovethat’sallforme.Herlovehashumbledme,made
mewanttobeabettermansoI’llalwaysbeworthyofthetremendousgiftshe’sgivenme.

This,Irealizeinthemidstofuttermagic,iswhatitmeanstomakelove.IhadnoideauntilIdidthis

withherthattherecouldbesuchadifference.Igraspherhandsandpropthemoverherhead,linkingour
fingersandthenourlipsasweridethewavetoasharppeakandthenglidebackdowntogetherina
momentofthepurestperfectionI’veeverexperienced.

Hereyesareglossywithtears,herlipsswollenfromourkisses,andI’mcompletelylosttoherin

everypossibleway.Stilljoinedwithher,Imovetomysideandbringherwithme,keepinghersnug
againstmeasourbodiescoolandquakewithaftershocks.

Ishouldtalktoheraboutwhathappenedtoday,butI’mafraidtostepoutsidethebubbleofhappy

contentmentthatsurroundsus.IwanttopreservetheperfectionforaslongasIcan.There’llbetime
enoughtotalkitthroughtomorrowduringtheridehome.

G

CHAPTERTHIRTEEN

arrett’salarmwakesusthirtyminutesbeforewe’reduetobepickedup.Partofmewisheswe
didn’thavetoleaveourbedorourroomtobesociable,buthe’sheretomeetwithpotentialclients,

andtheyweregoodenoughtoputusupattheFourSeasonsfortheweekend.Aftermyamazingdayatthe
spa,theleastIcandoisspendafewhourswiththemsupportinghisbusiness.

Idragmyselffromhisembraceandoutofbedtoputmyselftogether.
Hestaggersintothebathroomafewminuteslater,lookingrumpledandsexyandsleepy.Ican’ttake

myeyesofftheexceptionalnakedbodyofthemanwhowillbemyhusband.Myfirstandonlylove…At
longlast,wefinallygotthetimingright.

HegoesintothetoiletroomtotakealeakthatIcanhearthroughthecloseddoor.It’ssointimateand

excitingtobewithhimthisway,toseehimdisheveled,tosharealivingspace,evenifit’sahotelroom.

Iholdoutmyhandtostudytheexquisitelybeautifulengagementringhegaveme.Hetookme

completelybysurprisewhenhereturnedwiththeringandofficiallyaskedmetomarryhim.Ifhehadany
ideahowlongI’vewaitedtohearthosewordsfromhim,he’dprobablyrunawayoutoffearofawoman
whowassocrazyabouthimthat,otherthantheverybriefflingwithBlake,shehasn’tbeenwithanyone
elsesinceshesplitwithherhusbandyearsago.

AllthoselongyearsofwaitingandhopingthatGarrettMcKinleymightonedaylookatmeasmore

thanjustabuddy.Andthenthefirsttimehedid,itwassuchanunmitigateddisasterthatInearlygaveup
onusbeinganythingmoretoeachotherthanthebestoffriends.

Hishandslandonmyhips,hischinonmyshoulder.“Youstillliketheringinthebrightlight?”
“Iloveitineverylight.Istillcan’tbelievewe’reactuallyengaged!”
Hehugsmetighteragainsthim.“Believeit.”
“ImightneedtocallHoneytonightratherthanwaitinguntilwegethometotellher.”
“Whateveryouwant,sweetheart.”
“I’mtornbetweenwantingtotellhernowandwantingtobetherewhensheseesaringonmyfinger.”
“Itwouldbefuntosurprisethem.”
“Yes,itwould.That’swhatwe’lldo.SomehowI’llfindawaytocontainmyselfuntilwegethome.”
“Shareyourexcitementwithme.”
“Icandothat.”Icatchhiseyeinthemirror.“Doyouthinkyourmomwillbehappyforus?”

“She’llbethrilled.”
“Ihopeso.She’stheonlyparentwehave,theonlygrandparentourkidswillhave.”
“She’llbeafantasticgrandmother—andmother-in-law.Youknowhowmuchshe’salwaysloved

you.”

“She’soneofseveralpeoplewhosavedmebackintheday—herandHoney’sGranandacoupleof

teacherswhoactuallygaveashitaboutme.”Irubatthefadedwhitescaronmyleftwristthatservesasa
reminderofanotherofthedarktimesinmylife,afterIfendedofftheadvancesofoneofmydrunken,
drugged-upmother’smany“boyfriends,”andthenslashedmywristsinadesperateattempttogetsomeone
tonoticehowneglectedIwas.Itworked.AfterIendedupinthehospital,thestateintervenedtogetme
outofherhomeandhelpedmebecomeanemancipatedminorattheageofsixteen.

IstayedforatimewithHoneyandherGran,theolderwomanwhoadoptedherasaninfant,before

givingmymotheranotherchanceaftershesupposedly“gotsoberandfoundreligion.”Thatturnedoutto
beahugemistake.ImarriedWaynetofinallygetawayfromher,tradingoneawfulsituationforanother.
WhenIwastwenty-four,mymotherdiedinprison,aconvicteddrugdealer.Ihadn’tseenherinmorethan
ayearbythen,butwasstillprofoundlyaffectedbyherdeath.

“Don’tthinkaboutthebadstuff,Lo,”Garrettsays,tuggingmyleftarmfreeandencirclingmywrist

withhisbighand.“It’sallovernow.Let’slookaheadratherthanback.”

Nodding,Iforceasmileforhisbenefit.Thisiscertainlynotthetimeforthattripdownmemorylane.

“I’llbereadyintenminutes.”

“Soundsgood.”Hekissesthebackofmyshoulderandleavesmetofinishgettingready.
Iwanttolookniceforhimtonightsohe’llbeproudtointroducemetohisclients,soItakespecial

carewithmyhair,straighteningthecrazycurlsandapplyingalittlemoremakeupthanInormallywear.I
donablackcocktaildressandthesuper-highheelsthatGarrettlikessomuch.WhenI’mready,Ileavethe
bathroomandfindhimstandinginfrontofthebigwindowsinthesalon,handsinhispocketsashegazes
outattheviewofLadyBirdLake.

He’swearingapinstripedressshirtwithblackpantsthatmoldtohisperfectass.Igotohimand

coverthattightasswithmyhands,givinghimalittlesqueezethatmakeshimjolt.

Hesmilesatmeoverhisshoulderandthendoesadoubletake.“Wow,youlookfantastic.”Turning,he

takesacloserlook.“Youlooksodifferentwithyourhairstraight.”Heletsastrandslidethroughhis
fingers,seemingfascinated.

“Doyounotlikeit?”
“Iloveit.Youlooksexyandgrownupandengaged.”
“Ididn’tknowitwaspossibletolookengaged.”
“Youdo.Youlookvery,veryengaged,whichisagoodthing.Iwanteveryonetoknowyoubelongto

me.”

Ibringhiminforaquickkiss.“You’reverysweet.”
“Let’sgogetthisdinneroverwithsowecancontinuetoproperlycelebrateourengagement.”He

takesmebythehandandgrabshissuitcoatonthewayoutofthesuite.

Thedriveriswaitingforus,andGarrettholdsthedoorformeandthenfollowsmeintothebackof

theCadillacfortheridetotheAustinCountryClub.

“GuestsofJerryDutton,”thedrivertellstheguardatthesecuritystation.We’rewavedinandgivena

VIPgreetingbyclubstaff.MyfirstthoughtatwatchingthemspringintoactionisthatwhoeverJerry
Duttonis,hemusthaveswayatthisplace.

We’reshowntoatableinthemiddleofanelegantdiningroom.Ahandsomemaninhismid-fifties

standstogreetGarrettwithabigwelcomingsmileandahandshake.

“Thisismyfiancée,Lauren,”Garrettsays,andIhavetomakeaneffortnottoswoonasI’m

introducedashisfiancéeforthefirsttime.

“Suchapleasuretomeetyou,”Jerrysays.“Thisismywife,Monica.”
Ishakehandswiththestunningdark-hairedwomanwiththeperfectskin,teethandmanicure.She

remindsme,oddly,ofGeorgeClooney’sgorgeouswife,andnexttoher,Ifeellikeacountrybumpkin.I’m
reallygladItookthetimetostraightenmyhair.

Garretthelpsmeintomychairandthentakestheseatnexttome,restinghishandonmythighasifhe

knowsIneedthereassurance.I’vegotthis,orsoItellmyself.I’mdeterminednottodoanythingto
embarrasshiminfrontofthesepeople.Ihavenoideawhatsortofworkhe’shopingtogainfromJerry
Dutton,butwhateveritis,itwasimportantenoughtodrivesixandahalfhourstomeetwithhim.

Jerryrecommendsthesteakspecial,whichGarrettandIorder,whileMonicaorderssomething

vegetarian.Ofcourseshedoes.

IhaveaglassofredwinewhileGarrettdrinksbourbonwithJerryandMonicaorderswhitewine.
“Atoast,”Jerrysays,“tonewfriends.”
Wetouchourglassestogether,andIsenseacreepingtensioninGarrettthatwasn’ttherewhenweleft

thehotelroom.

“Soy’allareengaged,”Monicasays.“Showmeyourring.”
Iraisemyhandoffmylapandextendittoher.
“That’sgorgeous.Welldone,”shesaystoGarrett.
“Thankyou.”
“When’sthebigday?”sheasks.
“Oh,wedon’tknowyet,”Isay,glancingatGarrett.“Wejustgotengaged.”
“Justasinsinceyou’vebeenhere?”
“Justasinthisafternoon.”
“Ohmygoodness!Jerry,weneedchampagne!Theyjustgotengaged!”
Smilingindulgentlyathiswife,heraisesahandtosummonthewaiterandorderchampagne.“Bring

usyourbestvintage.”

“Yes,sir,Mr.Dutton.Comingrightup.”
“Thisissoexciting,”Monicasays,clappingherhandswithgirlishglee.She’salotnicerthanI

expectedhertobeatfirstglance.“Youhavetotelluseverything.Howdidyoumeet?”

IlooktoGarrett,whosmilesandnodsatmetotellourstory.“We’veknowneachothersince

kindergarten,butwe’vebeenclosesincesixthgrade.”

“Oh,that’ssosweet!Isn’tthatsweet,Jerry?”
“Indeed,”hesays.
“Garrettcametomyrescuewhenanotherboyknockedmylunchtrayoutofmyhands.”
“BrucetheDickDickenson,”Garrettadds,makingthemlaugh.
“Garrettbeatthecrapoutofhim,gotsuspendedandwe’vebeenthebestoffriendseversince.”I

grasphishandunderthetable.“Theromanticpartismorerecent,butit’sbeenalongtimecoming.”

“Averylongtime,”hemurmurs,squeezingmyhand.“Toolong.”
“Youhavetoinviteustothewedding,”Monicasays.
“Monica,”Jerrysayswithanoteofwarninginhisvoice.“Don’tbepushy.”
“AmIbeingpushy,Lauren?”
“Notatall,”Isay,charmedbyherover-the-topfriendliness.“Ofcoursewe’llinviteyou,andyoucan

drivesixandahalfhourstothemiddleofnowhereTexasforthewedding.”

“Iloveseeingnewplaces,”Monicasays.“It’salwaysanadventure.”
Dinnerisagreattime,fulloflivelyconversationandlaughter,toppedoffwithadeliciousmeal.The

guyshaveobviouslymadeapacttonotdiscussbusiness,whichisfinewithme.

“Ineedtohittheladies’room,”Monicasaysafterourdinnerdishesarecleared.Lookingoveratme,

shesays,“Joinme?”

“Sure.”
Bothmengetuptohelpusoutofourchairs,andMonicalinksherarmthroughmineassheleadsthe

waytotherestroom.“Y’allarejusttoodamnedcute,”shesaysoncewe’reinsidetheroomthatlooks
morelikeafancySouthernparlorthanabathroom.“He’sasexyone,thatmanofyours.”

“Iagree.”
“You’realuckygirl.”
“Asareyou.Jerryisasweetheart.”
“Hecertainlyis.”
Wetakecareofbusinessandthenmeetagainatthemirrortorefreshlipstick.
“Jerrymademepromisenotalkofbusinesstonight,butIhavetotellyouhowexcitedweareabout

havingyouguysherewithusinAustin.JerryisjusttickledpinktohavefoundGarrett.Iknownothing’s
decidedyet,butIdohopewe’llbethebestoffriends.”

Ihavenoideawhatthehellshe’stalkingabout,andittakesafewsecondsforhertorealizethat.
“OhGod.I’vegoneandputmyfootrightinit,haven’tI?”
“I,um…”Myrecentlysatisfiedstomachbeginstoache,andforasecond,IfearthatI’mgoingtobe

sickrightintherarefiedconfinesoftheAustinCountryClubladies’room.“Willyoupleasetellmewhat
you’retalkingabout?”

“Iprobablyshouldn’t.Jerry’sgoingtokillme.”
“Please,Monica.”
Shehesitates,butonlyforamoment.“JerryishopingtohireGarretttobethenewchieffinancial

officerofhiscompany.That’swhyy’allarehere.HeinterviewedwithJerryandtheteamattheoffice
today.”

IfeellikeI’vebeenpunchedrightinthegut.He’shereforaninterviewanddidn’tthinkIneededto

knowthat?Whatthehell?Whataboutmybusiness?Whatabouthis?I’mreeling.MyheadisspinningasI
trytomakesenseofit.Whywouldhekeepsuchathingfromme?Andisheplanningtotakethejoband
springamovetoAustinonme?

“I’msosorry,Lauren,”Monicasays,blinkingbacktears.“Ifeelterrible.”
“It’snotyourfault.”
“I’msurehehasagoodreasonfornottellingyou.”
Whatpossiblereasoncouldhehaveforkeepingsuchabigsecretfrommeatthesametimehewas

askingmetomarryhim?“I…Ineedaminute.Ifyoudon’tmind.”

“Ofcourse,honey,”shesays,squeezingmyarm.“Takeallthetimeyouneed.I’llmakeexcusesfor

you.”

“Thankyou.”
Sheleavesmealoneintherestroom,andImakeuseofoneoftheupholsteredeasychairstotryto

collectmythoughts.I’mthereafewminutesbeforeonethingbecomescrystalcleartome.Ineedtoget
thehelloutofhere.Rightnow.

Monicareturnstothetablealoneandobviouslydistressed.

“Where’sLauren?”Iask.
Tomyastonishment—andapparentlyJerry’s,too—shebecomesteary-eyedasshetakesherseatatthe

table.“I’vemadeaterriblefauxpas.”

Myheartbeginstopounderratically,andIbreakintoacoldsweat.
“What’veyoudone,darlin’?”Jerryasks.
“ImentionedhowexcitedyouareforGarretttojointhecompanyand…”
I’monmyfeetbeforeshecompletesthesentence.“Whereisshe?”
“Stillintheladies’room.”
IruntowardthedirectionIsawthemgowhentheyleftthetable,andIbangonthedoor.“Lauren!

Baby,comeouthere.Letmeexplain.”

“Isthereaproblem,sir?”auniformedguyasks.
“Yes,there’saverybigproblem.Myfiancéeisinthere,andshethinksIdidsomethingthatIdidn’t

meantodo,andIneedtotalktoher.Rightnow.”

Thedooropens,andanirritatedolderwomancomesout.“Whatseemstobetheproblem?”
“Myfiancéeisinthere.”I’mfeelingmoredesperatebytheminute.“Ineedtotalktoher.Willyouask

hertocomeout?”

“Iwastheonlyoneinthere.”
“You’resure?”
“Positive.”
Irunforthefoyerandtheporticowheremydriverstandswithseveralothermen.“Didyousee

Lauren?ThewomanIwaswithearlier?”

“Sheleftafewminutesagoinoneoftheclub’scars,”hesays.“SaidshehadaheadacheandthatI

shouldwaitforyoutoconcludeyourbusiness.”

“Ineedtogetbacktothehotel.Rightnow.”
“Yes,sir.”Hesignalsforthevalet,andwewaitaninterminabletenminutesforthemtobringthecar

around.Whenhestartstocomebacktoholdthedoorforme,Isignalforhimtoskipthat.“Driveasfast
asyoucan.Getmetothehotel.”

Whenwe’reinthecar,Itrytocallher,butIgethervoicemail,whichmeansherphoneisoff.I’m

losingmymindontheridebacktothehotel,imaginingwhatshemustbethinkingandhowupsetshehad
tobetoleavewithoutawordtome.

It’stheleastofwhatIdeserve.Ifuckedthisuproyally,evenifmyintentionsweregood.
Atthehotel,I’moutofthecarbeforeitcomestoafullstopandrunintothelobby,punchingtheup

arrowontheelevatorrepeatedlyuntilacarfinallyarrives.Idropthefuckingkeycardinmyhastetogetto
thetopfloor,losinganothervaluableminute.Finally,Igettoourroomandopenthedoor,yellingher
nametoanemptysuite.

She’snotthere.
Igototheclosetandthrowitopentofindherbagisgonealongwithhercosmeticbagfromthe

counterinthebathroom.

“Fuck!Motherfuckingfuck!”
Icalldownstairsformycar,throwmystuffintomysuitcaseandleavetheroomfiveminutesafterI

arrived.Ihavenodesiretobethereforevenaminuteifshe’snotwithme.

Atthebellman’sstation,Idescribehertothemanondutyandaskifhe’sseenher.“Isawher.About

tenminutesago.Shehiredoneofthecarserviceguystotakeherhometosomeplaceinthedesert.”

“Marfa.”
“Yeah,that’sit.Thedriverwasthrilledwiththebigfare.”
I’mgoingtobesick.Thenauseaburnsmythroatandbringstearstomyeyes.Myphonerings,andI

takethecallfromJerryDutton.

“Iseverythingallright,Garrett?”heasks.
“Notreally,buthopefullyitwillbe.”Ican’tconsiderthealternative.
“Monicafeelsterrible.”
“Pleasetellherit’snotherfault.It’sonehundredpercentmine.Ihadn’ttoldLaurenwhywewere

reallyherebecauseI’ddecidednottoacceptthejob,butafteryouallwenttosomuchtroubletoset
thingsup,Iwantedtoatleastmeetwithyou.”

“Well,Ihavetosaythat’sverydisappointing.Weallfeltyou’dbeaperfectfitforthejob.”
“Maybeinanotherlifetime,”Isayasthevaletarriveswithmycar.Isliphimaten,throwmybaginto

thefrontseat,hitthegasandheadforhome.“Inthislifetime,Ibelongsomewhereelseentirely.I’msorry
tohaveledyouon,Jerry.Inevermeantforthattohappen.”

“Ahh,don’tsweatit.Shithappens.Mydoorisalwaysopentoyou,Garrett.Ifyouchangeyourmind,

youknowwhereIam.”

“Iappreciatethatandeverythingelse.”
“Noproblem.IhopethingsworkoutforyouandLauren.”
“SodoI.”WeendthecallasIgetontheinterstateandpressthegaspedaltothefloor.Thank

goodnessIhadonlyoneglassofbourbonwithdinner,becausethisisgoingtobealongnight.

ItrytoseeinsideeverycarIpassonthelongridehome,butInevercatchaglimpseofanything

resemblingLauren’sdistinctiveblondehair.IreachtheoutskirtsofMarfaaroundtwoa.m.,havinghadto
stoptwice—onceforgasandoncetopiss.I’mhoveringontherazor’sedgeofsanitybythetimeIdrive
downHighlandandnoticehercarisnolongerinthelotwhereweleftitonFriday.Thatmeansshemade
itbacktotownbeforeme,althoughhowthat’spossiblewiththewayIdroveisbeyondme.

I’monthewaytoherhousewhenmyphonerings.IpounceonitwithoutcheckingthecallerID.
“It’sBlake.”
Ideflatelikeaballoonthat’sbeenhitwithapin.
“Honey’sinlabor.We’reatBigBendinAlpine.”
“DoesLaurenknow?”
“IjusttalkedtoherafewminutesagobecauseHoneyaskedmetocallher.Shesaidshe’shome,but

shedidn’tknowwhereyouare.Whatthehellisgoingon,man?”

“Don’tsweatit.Focusonyourwifeandyourbaby.”
“Garrett—”
“I’mcomingthere.Seeyouinthirtyminutes.”Iendthecallbeforehecangrillmeanyfurther.Atleast

nowIknowwheretofindLauren.

T

CHAPTERFOURTEEN

hirtyminuteslater,IpullintotheparkinglotattheBigBendRegionalMedicalCenterinAlpine,the
closestthingtoahospitalinourneckofthewoods.Iruninside,fueledbyadrenalineandpanic,and

immediatelyseeLaurensittingwithScarlettandabigblondguyIdon’trecognizeinthewaitingroom.

“Lauren.”Thesinglewordsoundsalmostlikeasobasitleavesmymouth.
Shelooksupatme,andintheflashofaninstant,Iseehurtanddisappointmentanddisaster.Ialso

noticeshe’snotwearingherring.

“Ineedtotalktoyou.”
“Notnow.”
“Lauren,please…”
Scarlettandtheblondguywatchuswithcuriosityfromhimanddismayfromher.
Laurenglaresatme.“Not.Now.Garrett.”
Iwanttofuckingpunchsomething,butIrestrainthaturgeandforcemyselftocalmthefuckdown

beforeImakethisworse,ifthat’sevenpossible.Itakeaseatacrossfromherandtrainmygazeonher,
whichishowIknowthatsheneveroncelooksmywayinthetwohourswewaittohearthatBlakeand
Honey’ssonhasarrivedsafely.

WyattJamesDempseyisbornatfourseventeena.m.,weighingjustoverninepoundsandmeasuring

twenty-oneinches.Accordingtohiseuphoricfather,hismotherisawarriorandthebabyisafuture
linebacker.I’veneverseenBlakesohappyinalltheyearsI’veknownhim,andhe’sbeenprettydamned
happysincehegottogetherwithHoney.

DidIhavethatkindofhappinessinmygraspuntilIfuckeditupandruinedeverything?
TheyletusintoseeHoneyandthebabyalittlewhilelater.Iremindmyselftosayanddoalltheright

thingstosupportmyfriends,butI’mdyingontheinsidewiththeneedforfiveminutesalonewithLauren
tofixthisterriblemessI’vemadeofthings.

ItturnsoutthebigblondguyisMickey’sbrotherJace,whowaswithBlakewhenHoneywentinto

labor.

“I’mgladyouguysgotthechancetomeet,”Blakesayswhilethewomencoooverthebaby.“Garrett

runsmybusiness.”

“AskhimhowheplanstorunyourbusinessfromAustin,”Laurensays,droppingabombintothe

room.

“Youwannarunthatbymeonemoretime?”Blakesaystoher.
“Tellhim,Garrett.TellhimabouttheinterviewyouhadinAustintobethechieffinancialofficerat

Social-NET.”Shemust’veGoogledJerryDuttononthewayhome.“Youknow,theinterviewyoudidn’t
tellanyoneabout,evenme,whenyouwereaskingmetomarryyou?”

“Youguysareengaged?”Scarlettsayswithasquealthatstartlesthebaby.
“Wewere,”Laurensays.
“Weare,”Iconfirmwithasteadylookforher.“Thejobthingisallabigmisunderstanding.”
Shestaresmedown.“DidyouordidyounotgotoAustinforajobinterview?”
“Idid,but—”
“Nobuts!Youweremakingplanstoleavetown,andyoudidn’ttellanyofus!”
“Seriously,Garrett?”Blakesays.“Whatthefuck?”
“Don’tswearinfrontofthebaby,”Honeysays.“Buthonestly,Garrett,whatwereyouthinking?You

knowhowmuchweallrelyonyou.”

“Ifyouguyswouldletmegetawordinedgewise,I’dtellyouthatItookthemeeting,butIneverhad

anyintentionoftakingthejob.”

“HowdidacompanyinAustinevenknowaboutyou?”Blakeasks.
“That’saverygoodquestion,”Laurensays,“andoneI’dliketoknowtheanswertoaswell.”
I’mcorneredwithnocleanwayoutofthisexceptwiththetruth.“Inorderformetoexplainthatto

you,we’dhavetogobacktowhatIwasdoingwhenmyfatherdied.”

“Whatdoesthathavetodowiththis?”Honeyasks,cradlingthesleepingbabyinherarms.
AsmuchasIwanttoexplainmyselftothem,Ican’tdoithereornow.“Guys,really,thisisn’tthetime

ortheplace.WeneedtobefocusedonWyattandHoneyandyournewfamily.”Igoovertothebedand
leanovertokissHoney’sforeheadandrunmyfingeroverthebaby’sdownysoftcheek.“Welldone,
Mom.I’msohappyforyouguys.”

“Thankyouforbeinghere,Garrett.”
“Ofcourse.”
“Congratulations,”IsaytoBlake,extendingmyhandtohim.
Heshakesmyhandashegivesmeawarylook.“Thisconversationisn’tfinished.”
“We’lltalkaboutitanothertime,”Itellhim.
“Youbetyourasswewill.”
“Blake!Language!”
“Babe,we’vegottwoyearsbeforehe’llbeabletotalk.”
“Notimelikethepresenttobreakthehabit.”
“Comewithme,”IsaytoLauren.
“No,I’mstayingwithHoney.”
“Youdon’thaveto,Lo,”shesays.“AllIwanttodoissleep.Youdon’thavetostay.”
“We’llallgetoutofyourhair,”Scarlettsays.ToJace,sheadds,“CanIhitcharidebacktotownwith

you?”

“Ofcourse.Noproblem.”HeshakeshandswithBlake.“Tobecontinued.”
“Thanksanawfullotforeverythingtonight,man.Ifyouwantthejob,it’sallyoursafterwhatyoudid

togetmetoHoneywhensheneededme.”

“Iwantthejob,anditwasapleasure.GladIcouldhelpandthatIgottomeetyourfriends.”He

waggleshiseyesatScarlett,who’sobliviousbecauseshe’shuggingLaurenandwhisperingsomethingto
her.

Wewalkouttogether,andIfollowLaurentohercar.
“Cometomyplace,”Isaytoher.“Letmeexplain.”

“It’slate,Garrett.I’mtiredand—”
“Please,Lauren.”
Shesighs.“Fine.Okay.”
ThegreatestfeelingofreliefI’veeverexperiencedfloodsmysystem.We’renotoutofthewoodsyet,

butatleastshe’sgoingtohearmeout.“Followme.”

Withacurtnod,shegetsinhercarandpullsoutoftheparkinglotrightbehindme.Ileadtheway

backtoMarfaandpullintomydriveway,openingtwoofthegaragedoorssoshecandriveinnexttome.

Iclosethedoorsandwaitforhertoprecedemeintothehouse.“Youwantsomethingtodrink?”
“Justsomewater.”
Ipourglassesoficewaterforbothofusandbringthemintothelivingroom,takingtheseatnextto

heronthesofa.“ThefirstthingIwanttosayisI’msorryIdidn’ttellyouwhywereallywenttoAustin.”

“I’vespentthelasttenhourstryingtounderstandwhyyoudidn’ttellme.”
“LikeIsaidatthehospital,aftereverythingclickedwithus,IdecidedIdidn’twantthejobafterall,

butJerryandhisteamhadgonetosomuchtroubletoarrangeeverything,Ididn’tfeelrightcancelingat
thelastminute.AndthenwhenWayneshowedupandupsetyou,Ithoughtitwouldbeagoodchancetoget
youawayfromitallforafewdays.”

“Whichwasniceofyou,andIappreciateit,butcanyoubegintounderstandhowitfelttohave

someoneIdon’tknowatallfillintheblanksforme?”

“I’msorryaboutthat.JerryandIhadagreedthiswouldbeasocialdinnerwithnobusiness.Ididn’t

thinkitwouldcomeup.”

“Wereyouevergoingtotellmethatyouwentthereforaninterview?”
“Iwasplanningtotellyouaboutitonthewayhome,afterIdeclinedtheiroffer.”
“I’mhavingahardtimeunderstandingwhyyouhadtheinterviewinthefirstplaceifyoudidn’twant

thejob.”

“LikeIsaidearlier,itgoesbacktowhatIwasdoingwhenmyfatherdied.”
“Whatwereyoudoing?”
“InterviewingwithcompaniesjustlikeJerry’s,placeswithlotsofopportunitiesandofficesaround

theworld.”

Inthespanofonesecond,Iwatchassheputsitalltogether.“Soyou’vebeencountingdownthedays

untilSierragraduatessoyoucangetbacktowhatyouweredoingbeforeyourdaddied?”

“Notthewholetime.”
“OhmyGod,Garrett.”Shebendsinhalfasifinpain,rockingbackandforth.“Alltheseyears…How

couldyounottellmeyouwantedtobesomewhereelse?WhatdidyouthinkIwouldsay?”

“It’snotlikethat,Lo.Iwasonlyexploringmyoptions.”
“Whataboutyourclientshere?PeoplelikeBlakeandHoneywhodependonyou?Whatwereyou

goingtosaytothemonyourwayoutoftown?”

“Iwould’veprovidedforthemandmyemployees.Butitdoesn’tmatteranymore.I’mnotgoing

anywhere.Iwantsomethingdifferentnow.”Ireachforherhand,whichisfreezing,soIrubitbetween
bothofmine.“WhydidyouleavemeinAustin?”

“IwasshockedbywhatMonicatoldme.Ijustneededtogetoutofthere.”
“Withoutme?”
“Ididn’tknowwhattothink.Whyhadn’tyoutoldmeabouttheinterview?Wereyouplanningto

springamoveonmewithoutacareaboutmylifeormybusiness?DoIevenknowtheguyIwasengaged
to?”

“Pasttense?Seriously,Lauren?”
“Idon’tknow!”Shepullsherhandfreeofmygraspandgetsuptopace.“Idon’tunderstandanyof

this.HowcouldInotknowthatyou’resounhappyhere?Evenbeforethis.”Shewavesherhandbetween

us.“Weweretogetherallthetime,andIneverhadanyideathatyouweredyingtobesomewhereelse.”

“Iwasn’t.Notallthetime.”
“Butmostofthetime.Thisisthereasonwhyyouneverallowedyourselftohavearelationshipwith

anyone,becauseyouwereplanningtoleave.It’swhyyouweresofondoftourists,isn’tit?Youwere
alwaysplanningyourgreatescape.”

“Everythingisdifferentnow.Becauseofyouandus.”
“Youwantmetobelievethatyou’repreparedtoabandonyourlifeplanofmorethansixyearsafter

oneweekwithme?”

“I’minlovewithyou.Iwantalifewithyou.IwantthatmorethanI’veeverwantedanythingelse.”
“Soyousaynow.Whataboutinayearortwoorthreewhentheexcitementwearsoffandreallife

setsinandyoustarttofeelunfulfilled?”

Igetupandgotoher,puttingmyarmsaroundherrigidbody.“IfIhaveyouinmylifeandinmybed,

I’llneverbeunfulfilled.Don’tyougetit,Lauren?Iwantedallthatbecausemylifewassoempty,and
nowit’sfulltooverflowingbecauseofyou.Lovingyou,beinginlovewithyou,haschangedeverything.
TheonlythingIwantnowisyou.Idon’tcarewhereweareorwhereweliveorwhatelsehappensas
longasIhaveyou.”

Itughercloser,nuzzlingherneckandbreathinginthescentthat’ssouniquelyLauren.“Iloveyou.I

wantyou.Ichooseyou.Ididn’ttellyouabouttheinterviewbecauseIwantedyoutohaveastress-free
getaway.IneverwantedyoutoknowthatIeverthoughtaboutbeinganywherebutherewithyou.Ijust
wantedtogetyouawayfromhereforafewdayssoyoucouldrelaxafterwhathappenedwithWayne.I’m
sorryyouwerehurtbysomethingIfailedtodo.I’llneverforgivemyselfforthat.”

Slowly,shebeginstoyieldtome,herbodymoldingtomineintinyincrements.
“That’sit,baby.Cometome.Holdontome.I’llneverletyougo.”Ifeeldampnessagainstmyface

anddrawbacktolookdownather.Idieinsideatthesightofhertears,knowingIcausedthem.

“C-couldIaskyousomething?”
“Anything.”
“DiditeveroccurtoyouthatImightbewillingtomovetoAustinifyougotajobtherethatyou’re

excitedabout?”

Istaredownather,stunnedbythequestion.“No.Thatneveroccurredtome.Iknowhowhardyou’ve

workedtobuildBloomsburyandhowmuchyouloveyourfriendsandyourlifehere.I’dneveraskyouto
giveanyofthatupforme.”

“WhatifIwaswillingtodothatforyouifit’swhatwouldmakeyouhappy?”
“Idon’tneedit,Lo.Ihaveawonderful,thrivingbusinessherewithclientswhorelyonmeaswellas

awomanIloveandwanttomarry.Mymomishere.Mysiblingsarearoundatvarioustimesduringthe
year.Andmyfriendsarehere.WhileIwasbusyrunningmyfather’sbusiness,Ifoundalifethatworksfor
me.Theheadhunterandtheinterviewwereleftoverrelicsfromanolddream.Onethatdiedalongtime
agowithoutmerealizingit.”

“Iwanttobelieveeverythingyou’resaying,butI’mafraid.”
“Tellmewhy.”
“I’dneverwanttoholdyoubackfrombeingeverythingyoueverdreamedofbeing.Somedayyou’d

resentmeforthat.”

“You’renotholdingmeback.Yourlovegavemethecouragetotradeonedreamforanevenbetter

one.WhatwouldIdoinAustinwithoutyou?Iwouldn’tlastamonthifIcouldn’tseeyourgorgeousface
andkissyoursweetlipseveryday.You’vegotmecompletelyaddictedtoyou.”

“You’reonethousandpercentsurethisiswhatyouwant?”
“I’monehundredmillionpercentsure.”Tippingmyheadtotheside,Ibringmylipsdownonhers,

slidingthembackandforthuntilIfeelheryieldtome,thebreathescapingfromherinanunsteadyhitch.

“Iloveyouwithmywholeheartandsoul,Lauren,andIhavesincethedayBrucetheDickmadeyoucry.
Tellmeyoustillloveme.”

“Ido.Ofcourse,Ido.”
“Where’syourring?”
“Inmypurse.”
“Gogetit.”EventhoughIneverwanttolethergo,Ireleasehersoshecancrosstheroomtothe

counterwheresheleftherpurse.Shereturnstomewiththeringinhandandholdsitupformetosee.

Itakeitfromherandslideitbackonherfingerwhereitbelongs.“Promiseyou’llneverrunaway

frommeagain.Nomatterwhat,runtome,notaway.”

“Ipromise.”
“AndIpromisetoneveragaingiveyoureasontowanttorun.”Iwrapmyarmsaroundherandlifther

intomyembrace,carryinghertobedasthesunbeginstopeekthroughtheblinds.ThankGodwe’reboth
offonSundays,orI’dhavetomissworkagaintospendthedaywithmyfiancée.Thegreatestthrillofmy
lifeismakinglovetoherwithnosecretsleftbetweenus,andourfuturetogetherlaidoutbeforeuslikea
dreamcometrue.

“W

EPILOGUE

hodecidedthatbabieshavetowearfrillydressestobechristened?”Blakeasks,curlinghislip

withdistasteatthelacyoutfithissoniscurrentlywearing.“Mysondoesnotweardresses.Evento
church.”

“ItwasGran’s,”Honeysays,pacifyinghimwithasmile.“I’mgoingtochangehimnowthatwe’re

home.”

“ThankGod.Ineedabeer.Who’sin?”
Matt,Jace,BrockandIfollowhimtothebarthat’sbeensetupinthediningroomforthepartyto

celebrateWyatt’schristening.LaurenandIarehisgodparents,whichturnedouttobefarmorethrilling
thanIwould’veexpectedbeforeIstoodupinchurchandpromisedtobeanimportantpersoninhisnew
life.

BecauseMatt’sarmsarefullofasquirmingbabyGrace,Iopenhisbeerandhandittohim.
“Thanks,pal,”hesays.
HoneycomesintothediningroomwithWyattchangedintoacuteredpoloshirtandkhakishortsand

handshimtohisfather.

“Nowthat’smorelikeit,mylittleman.Iwon’tletMommydoanythinglikethattoyouagain.Don’t

worry.”

“Youarefartoomachoforyourowngood,BlakeDempsey,”Honeysaysoverhershoulderasshe

headsforthekitchen.

“I’mwithyou,”Jacesays.“Thedresswasalittlemuch.”
Intwomonths,he’sbecomepartofourtribeandhascompletelytransformedBlake’sbusinesswith

hisconstructionmanagementexpertise.Nottomentionthesignificantchemistrywe’vewitnessedbetween
himandScarlett,whichneitherofthemistalkingabout—nottousanyway.

“ThechristeninggownhasbeeninGran’sfamilyforgenerations,”Blakesayswithalong-suffering

sigh.“ItwasimportanttoHoneythathewearit,butI’mgladtoseehimoutofit,too.”

“He’scutenomatterwhathewears,”Isaywithgodfatherlypride.
“Isn’the?”Blakebeamsathissonwithwhatcanonlybecalledunfetteredjoy.Honeyandthebaby

havemadehimsodamnedhappy.

WeenjoyafeastofbarbecueandallthefixingstocelebrateWyatt’sbaptism.Laurensitsbesideme,

herlegsnugagainstminewhilemyhandrestsonherthigh.Ican’tsitthisclosetoherandnottouchher.In
thelastfewmonths,we’vesoldmyhouseandmovedmeintohers.ShewasmoreattachedtohersthanI
wastomine,soitwasano-brainerforme.Whatevershewants.Infact,ifshehadanyideahowenslaved
Iamtoher,I’dbeinevenbiggertroublethanIalreadyamwhereshe’sconcerned.

Ironically,sinceItooktheoptionofleavingtownoffthetable,mybusinesshasgrownevenmore,

thanksinlargeparttoJerryDutton,whoconvincedmetoconsultforhimonaninformalbasis.Thattakes
metoAustinaboutonceamonthtodoworkItrulyenjoywithamanwho’sbecomeafriend.Funnyhow
lifeworksitselfout,isn’tit?

Morethananything,myrelationshipwithLaurenhasmademylifecompleteinwaysInevercould’ve

imagined.KnowingshebelongstomeandIbelongtoherisreallyandtrulytheonlythingIneedtobe
happy.

SometimesI’mstillamazedathowfallinginlovewithhercompletelychangedmylifeandgavemea

wholenewsetofdreamsthatarewaybetterthananythingIcould’vehopedforiflefttomyowndevices.
Togetherwe’reathousandtimesmorethanwewereonourown.

We’regettingmarriedinthespringatthePaisano,butthat’llbeaformality.We’realreadymarriedin

allthewaysthatmattermost,andIcan’twaitfortheforeverIgettospendwithher.We’veevenasked
Blaketobuildoneofthenewhousesinhisdevelopmentforus.Oh,andanothergreatpartofmynewlife?
ItakeweekendsoffnowsoIcanspendeverypossibleminutewithLauren.

Lifeisgoodandgettingbetterallthetime—andit’sallbecauseofthegirlIfellinlovewithinsixth

grade.

DidyoumissBlakeandHoney’sstoryinSexMachine?

Getithere.

AndifyouLOVEDGarrettand

Lauren’sstory,pleaseleaveareviewattheretailerofyourchoiceand/orGoodreadstohelpother
readersfindthisbook!AfteryouarefinishedreadingSexGod,jointhe

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ThankyouforreadingSexGod!IhopeyoulovedGarrettandLauren’sstoryasmuchasIlovedwritingit.
Beingawriterisweirdsometimes.IhadnoplanstowritethisbookuntilGarrettstartedtalkingtome,
demandingIgethisfunnywordsonthepageandfigureouthissituationonceandforall.I’menjoying
writinginthisworldofMarfaandWestTexas,andIhopetorevisititagaininthefuturewhenanotherof
thecharactersstartswhisperinginmyear.

Makesureyou’reonmynewslettermailinglistat

marieforce.com

tonevermissanewbook,asaleor

anappearanceinyourarea.

Asalways,mythankstomyHTJBteamwhomakeitallhappen—JulieCupp,LisaCafferty,Holly

Sullivan,IsabelSullivan,NikkiColquhounandCherylSerra.Thankyoutomyawesomeeditorialteamof
LindaIngmansonandJoyceLambaswellasmybetareaders,AnneWoodallandKaraConrad,andmy
publicistJessicaEstepatInkSlingerPR.Isoappreciateallofyou!

Specialthankstomyreaderswhofollowmewhereverthemusedecidestotakeusonthiscrazy

journey.Thankyouforyourloveandsupport!

xoxo

Marie

Virtuous,QuantumSeries,Book1

Chapter1

WinterinNewYorkCityisdirtybusiness.Anasty,grayishhuehangsoverthecityfromNovember
throughlateMarch.Duringmyfirstwinterinthecity,I’veexperiencedeverythingfromslushypuddles
thatsoakthrougheventhemostresilientbootstoicysidewalkstothedelightfulcomboplatteroffried
onionsfromvendorcartsmeldingwithmysterysteamfromtheunderground,creatingasmellthatdefies
description.

Iloveeverystinky,icy,frigidinchofit.Whileothershideoutinside,Itaketothestreetswithmydog,

Fluff,onaleash.HerfullnameisFluff-o-Nutter,butdon’tjudgeme.IwasninewhenInamedherafter
myfavoritefoodgroupatthetime,andfourteenyearslater,she’sstillmymostfaithfulcompanionandthe
onetietomyoldlifethatIbroughttomynewlife.Shegoeseverywherewithme,exceptschool.

Itriedtogetherinthere—once—butwasstoppedatthedoorbystone-facedMrs.Heffernan,who

toldmeschoolisnoplaceforanimals.EvenafterIsworeI’dkeepherundermydeskandoutoftheway
allday,theanswerwasstillno.Shecitedhealthcodesandrulebooks,herspittlehittingmeundermyleft
eye.TakingFluffhomecostmeapersonalday,andIswearMrs.Heffernanstillchecksundermydesk
everydaywhenI’monrecessordismissalduty,justtomakesureFluffisn’tthere.

BecauseIcan’ttakemytwenty-poundbabytoschoolwithme,Ihiredadogwalkertocareforher

duringtheday.That’sworkingoutwell,exceptforthetimeFluffbitoneofthepoodles.Thedogwalker
wasirked,butI’mcertainpoorFluffwasonlydefendingherself.Shewasquiteindignantandputoutby
theentireincident.Itoldhershehastobehaveherselforgetstuckinsidealldayifthedogwalkerfires
us.

Fluffhasbehavedadmirablyeversince.
I’mrewardinghergoodbehaviortodaywithalongwalkthroughtheVillage.Thewindisbitingly

coldandsnowflurriesfilltheaironthisearlyJanuaryday.It’sthekindofbitterlycoldNewYorkday
thatkeepseventhehardiestofsoulsinside,soFluffandIhaveBleeckerStreetmostlytoourselves.

AsI’mstillsomewhatnewtothecity,everythingaboutitfascinatesthegirlfromNebraska.Ilovethe

architectureandthechaosaswellasthetaxicabsandthebikesthatzigzagthestreetsoneventhecoldest
ofdays.IlovethestylishwomenwhoputtogetheramazingoutfitsI’dneverconceiveofonmyown,the
handsomemen,thediversity,thedreadlocks,thetattoos,themusic,thetheater,thepiercingsandthefood.
Idespisethepoverty,thehomelesssleepingoutside,thegrime,thegraffiti.Overall,Iloveawholelot
morethanIhate.

MyroommatemadefunofmeforweekswhenIfirstarrivedbecauseIgavemoneytoeverypoor

personIencountered.ShetoldmeI’dbebrokebeforeChristmasifIkeptthatup.SoIstopped,butmy
heartstillbreakseverytimeIwalkbysomeoneinneed,becauseIwishIcouldhelpthemall.Mostofall,
IlovethatIfeelsafehere.Ifyou’resomeonewhoworriesthecityisdangerous,you’llthinkthatsounds
crazy.Butwhenyou’vesurvivedwhatIhave,safetyisrelative.ThewayIlookatit,foreveryoneperson
whomighthassleyouonthestreet,there’reahundredgoodpeoplenearbywho’dcometoyouraid.Itake
comfortinthat.

Iwindow-shopmywayfromoneendofBleeckertotheother,lingeringoutsideMarcJacobsbefore

thecoldforcesmeonmyway.Afirst-yearteachercanonlydreamaboutshoppingatMarcJacobs,so
there’snopointgoinginside,nottomentionthey’dfreakaboutFluffbeinginthere.

Standingstillisnotanoptiontoday.Myfaceissocoldatthispoint,it’sgonenumb,andIhavethe

startofanice-creamheadachewithoutthepleasureoftheicecream.I’mthinkingaboutheadinghometo
thecozyapartmentIsharewithoneofmycolleagueswhenactivityintheplaygroundattheendofthe
streetcatchesmyattention.

“Let’sseewhat’sgoingon,Fluff.”Weheadtowardthepark,Fluffpullinghardonherleash,thoughI

can’ttellwhethershe’shotonthetrailofascentorasight.I’velearnedtoletherinvestigatethesethings
orputupwithherpoutingallday.She’sfreakishlystrongforalittleolddog,andIfindmyselfnearly
joggingtokeepupwithher.

I’mnotquitesurehowtodescribewhathappensnext.AllIknowisoneminutewe’retrottingalong

untilIslideonapatchofice,teeteringforamomentbetweendisasterandrecovery.BythetimeIregain
myfeetunderme,Fluffhastakenadvantageofmymomentarylossofbalancetobustloose.Herleash
goesflyingoutofmyhand,andshetakesofflikeashot,makingforthegatetotheparkontinylegsthat
movewithpuppy-likespeed.

FearsofherfragilebodybeingcrushedunderthewheelofataxikeepmerunningasfastasIcan,

callinghernameasIgo.SheroundsacorneranddisappearsforahorrifyingsecondbeforeImakethe
turnintotheparkandbringherbackintoview.I’mlaser-focusedonherandterrifiedofherclearingthe
othersideoftheparkanddashingintotraffic.

“Fluff!Stop!Stop!”Irunsohardmylungsareburningfromthecoldandtheexertion.Myeyesare

tearing,alsofromthecold,aswellasthesheerterrorthatmydefenselesslittledogisgoingtoendupas
roadkillifIdon’tgettoher—fast.“Fluff!”

Ihitsomethinghardandgodownharder,landingonmyback.Youknowwhatit’slikewhenyouget

thewindknockedoutofyouandforawholeminute—orevenlonger—youcan’tbreathe?That’sme,lying
onthegroundintheBleeckerPlayground,staringupatthecloudygraysky,unabletogetairintomy
startledlungs.

IactuallybegintowonderifI’mdead.HaveIbeenhitbyabusoracaborabikeorsomeother

vehicle?AmIdriftingbetweenlifeanddeath?Acrowdformsaroundme,numeroussetsofeyeslooking
downatme.Peoplearealwayssocuriouswhenbadthingshappentootherpeople.Ihearangryvoices.
There’spushing,shovingandjostlingaroundme.

Afaceappearsabovemine.Ahandsomemaleface.Heseemsconcerned—andfamiliar.DoIknow

himfromtheneighborhood?Someonescreamsinthebackground,andIthinkitmightbeme.

ThenFluffisthere,lickingmyface,fullofconcernedobedience.That’swhenIknowI’mnotdead—

andneitherisshe.Afloodofreliefatrealizingshe’sokayrelaxesmychest,allowinginoxygenI
desperatelyneed.ThecoldairhittingmylungssnapsmeoutofthestuporI’veslippedinto.Ilookupat
softbrowneyes,akindface,browsknittedwithconcern.

“Shutup,Hayden!”thekindfacesays.Hehasreallyniceeyesanddarkhairshotthroughwithhintsof

silver.Iwanttoreachupandpushitbackfromhisbrowandseeifit’sassoftasitlooks.Hislipsare
perfectlyformed,thekindoflipsyouwanttokiss,andhisfaceisarresting,captivating,livedin,ifyou
knowwhatImean.“Can’tyouseeshe’shurt?”

Thatvoice.Somethingaboutitisfamiliar.Iwanttoaskifwe’vemetbefore,butIcan’tseemtospeak.
“Shefuckedupmyshot!”
“Isaidtoshutup!”
“Youshutup!It’snotyourshotshefuckedup!”
Lookingdownatme,thekindmanrestshishandonmyshoulder.“Doyouthinkyoucouldsit?”
ItrybecauseheaskedmesonicelyandbecauseFluffandIhaveobviouslycausedsomeconsiderable

troubleforthesepeople.

Hisstrongarmscomearoundme,helpingmetositup.He’ssocloseIcatchahintofhiscologne.He

smellsexpensive,athoughtthatnearlymakesmegiggle.Exceptmychesthurts,andFluffismakinga
scene,yippingandtryingtogetmyrescuer’shandsoffme.

DidImentionshe’sabitterritorialwhenitcomestome?
Myrescuer’seyesbugoutofhisheadashegasps.“Holyshit,thatdamneddogbitme!”Hewaveshis

armaround,tryingtodislodgeFluff,whosetinybodyjerksattheendofhisarm.Thejerkingonlymakes
hermoredeterminedtoholdon.Heletsoutanungodlyhowl.

Theotherguy,theonewho’sbeenscreamingatme,comesrushingovertoassisthim.
“Don’thurther!”Myvoicereturnsasthey’reabouttohurlpoorFluffacrosstheparkintheirhasteto

removeherfromthearmofmyrescuer.

“Getheroffme!”
Iscrambletomyfeetandreachforher,mylegswobblingandmyheadswimmingfromtherushof

movingtoofast.

Thankfully,Fluffseesmeonmyfeetandcomeswillinglytome,dislodginghervictim.
“You’refuckingbleeding,”themannamedHaydensays.“He’sfuckingbleeding!”
I’mnotsurewhohe’stalkingtountilateamofpeopledescendsupontheniceguy,tendingtohis

wounds.

“DoesheneedtheER?”Haydenasks.He’scrazyhandsome—tall,broad-shouldered,withdarkhair

andice-blueeyes.He’salsoseriouslypissed.“Pleasetellmehe’snotgoingtoneedthefuckingER.Ifwe

losethisentirefuckingday—”

“Hayden!”Theinjuredmanwavestheothersawayanddabsatthewoundwithsomegauze.“Shutthe

fuckup!Walkawayandtakeadeepbreath.”

“Easyforyoutosay,Flynn.It’snotyourassonthelinetodeliverthisthingontimeandonbudget.”
“Walk.Away.”
Haydenstormsoff,barkingordersatpeopleashegoes.
Ifinallytakealookaroundandseecameras,ladders,lightpoles,electriccordssnakingalongthe

ground,atentedareaofftoonesideandalotofpeoplemillingaboutlookinguncertain.“I’msorry.I
didn’trealizeyouallwerehere.Fluff…shegotawayfromme,andIwentafterher.”Iventureaglance
upathim,andthat’swhenithitsme.MydoghasbittenFlynnGodfrey.TheFlynnGodfrey.Flynn
freakingGodfrey.

“You’re…OhmyGod.I’msosorry.Idon’tknowwhatgotintoher.Oneminutewe’rewalkingdown

thestreet,andthenext…She’sbitingFlynnGodfrey.”

Hisappealingeyestwinklewithmirth.
“It’snotfunny!”Ican’tbelievehe’slaughing.
“It’skindoffunny.”
“It’snotfuckingfunny!”Haydenshoutsacrossthepark.
“Shutup,Hayden,”Flynnsayswithouttakinghiseyesoffme.
“Areyouallright?I’msosorry.Thebitingisnew.She’sfourteenandmoreofaterrornowthanshe

wasasapuppy.AndI’mtotallybabbling.Andyou’reFlynnGodfrey.”Itakeastepback,wishingfora
waytosimplydisappearbeforeIdieofembarrassmentrightinfrontofthebiggestmoviestarinthe
knownuniverse.

“Wait.”
Ihalt,becausewhatelsedoesonedowhenFlynnGodfreyissuesanorder?
“Areyouallright?”heasks,hisowninjuryapparentlyforgotten.
Wordsfailmeunderthepotentglowofhismagneticbeauty,soInod.
“You’resure?”
“Yes.”Iforcewordspasttheoddsensationinmychestandthroat.“Areyou?”
“It’sascratch.Nothingtoworryabout.”
“Well,um…Itwasnicetomeetyou.I’mahugefanofyourwork.Perhapsyourbiggestfan.ButI’m

notastalkeroranything.”I’mdoingitagain.I’mbabblinginfrontofthebiggestmoviestarontheplanet.
“I’mgoingtostoptalkingnow.I’msorryagainforinterruptingyourwork.TellhimI’msorry,too.”Inod
inHayden’sdirection.He’sstillrantingandrailing,andsuddenlyIwantoutoftherebecausetheguyis
kindofscarypissed.

ItightenmyarmaroundFluffandmakeahastyretreat,nearlytrippingoverapowercordonmyway

outofthepark.That’swhenIseethegiganticsignspostedonthegates.“ClosedTodayforFilmShoot.”
Great.

Acutelyawareofeveryoneintheparkwatchingmego—includingFlynnGodfrey,thebiggestmovie

starintheuniverse—IwalkasfastasIcanonrubberylegs.

Behindme,Ihearmalevoicesarguing,loudly.ThenIhearhisvoice.
“Hey,wait.Don’tgo.”
Ishetalkingtome?I’mafraidtostoptofindout,soIwalkfaster.Fluffissquirminginmyarms,

wantingdownsoshecanwalk,too.“Noway,missy.Yourwingsareofficiallyclipped.”

Shewhimpersandcontinuestofightmyholdonher.
“Don’teventhinkaboutbitingme,doyouhearme?”
“Wait!”
It’shim,andhe’scallingouttome.Whileeverythinginmeistellingmetorun,toflee,something

makesmestopandturn.Muchlater,Iwilllookbackuponthedecisiontoturnaroundasoneofthoselife-
changingmomentsthatyoudon’trealizeischangingyourlifeasithappens,butwithhindsightyoucansee
howimportantitwas.

Anyway…
He’srunningafterme.FlynnGodfreyischasingme.
ThefewpeopleonBleeckerpauseinwhatthey’redoingtowatchhim.Eveninthefrigidcold,the

sightofthebiggestmoviestarintheuniversestopspeopleintheirtracks.Hisbreathformspuffyclouds
ashecatchesuptome.Theintenselookonhisfacedisarmsme.

“Don’ttellmeyou’vedecidedtosuepoorFluff.”Igoforwittyoverpanicked.“Hernetworthisa

goose-downbed,acoupleofchewtoysandaveryexpensive—andapparentlyuseless—leash.”

Hislipsquiverslightly,buthiseyes…Hiseyesaredeepanddarkanddetermined.“Youdidn’ttell

meyourname.”

“Whydoyouwanttoknowmyname?Youaregoingtosueme,aren’tyou?Beforeyouspendatonof

moneyonlawyers,youshouldknowthatFluff’snetworthisquiteabitmorethanmine.”

“I’mnotgoingtosueyou,”hesays,chuckling.“Iwouldn’tmindsomecoffee,though.Ifyouhavetime

—andifyoutellmeyourname.”

“You…youwanttohavecoffee.Withme.”
“Ifyouhavetime,andifyoutellmeyourname.”
I’mstunnedspeechless,andpeoplewhoknowmewilltellyouthathappenswell…never.Theycall

meChattyCathyatschoolbecauseIliketotalktomycolleaguesatlunchwhenmostofthemwouldprefer
afewminutesofquiet.

“Youdohaveaname,don’tyou?”
“It’s,um,Natalie.”
“Natalie.That’sagoodname.Doesitcomewithalastname?”
“Bryant.”Sometimesmynewnamestillfeelsfunnycomingoffmylips,buttheoldname…Theold

namebelongstotheoldlife,andneitherhasanyplacehereinmyperfectnewlifethat’sjustgottenalot
moreperfect.

“NatalieBryant.AndFluff.”HeraiseshishandasiftopetFluff,buthergrowlmakeshimthinkbetter

ofit.

“Fluff-o-Nutter.”
“Excuseme?”
“That’sherfullname.Fluffishernickname.”Idon’tknowwhyItellhimthat,butwhenhelaughs—

hard—mystomachfeelsallflutteryandstrange.ImadeFlynnGodfreylaugh.Ashewipesalaughtertear
fromthecornerofhiseye,IdiscoverIquitelikemakingFlynnGodfreylaugh.

Well,isn’tthisturningouttobearatherinterestingday?

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Marie Force istheNewYork Timesbestsellingauthorofmorethan50contemporaryromances,includingtheGansettIslandSeries,which
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