SexyStranger

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ChapterTwenty-Eight
ChapterTwenty-Nine
Epilogue
Acknowledgments
AbouttheAuthor
OtherBooksbyKendallRyan

AbouttheBook

LukeWilderknowsthelovelystrangerdoesn’tbelongthesecondshestruts

intohissleepylittletown.She’sacitygirlwhowon’tstaylongerthanittakesto

getherfancyforeigncarrepaired—whichiswhyheshouldignorehispowerful

needtomakehernoticehim.It’sjustthatthemomentsheopenshersmartmouth

andgivesitbackasgoodasshegets,hewantstoswapawholelotmorewithher

thaninsults.

CharlotteFreemontinstantlydislikestheruderedneckstrangershefinds

herselfstuckwith.Toobadhe’sashotassin,andjustastempting.Ontherunfrom

hermessypast,she’snottheretogettangledupwithaman,evenoneashardto

resistasthehotheadedLuke.Butwhenhegivesheraprivatetourofhiscraft

whiskeydistillery,theirattractionignites,andLukeseizesthechancetoshowher

there’sawholelotmoretohimthantherough,ruggedsideshesees.

Whenhefinallylearnshersecret,willitshatterhistrustinher?Ordothey

haveachancetocreateawholenewblend?

ChapterOne

Luke

Therewasnothingquitelikewatchinganout-of-townergettheirfirsttasteof

ShadyGrove.Itdidn’thappentoooften.Inmyexperience,youwereeitherfrom

hereoryou’dneverheardoftheplace.

ThesecondIsawherwalkthroughthedoorofWhattheCluck,thelocal

family-stylerestaurant,Iknewshedidn’tbelong,andsodideveryoneelsewhose

headturnedinherdirection.Theoneswhodidn’tnoticerightawaysurelydid

whentheyheardherheelsclickingacrossthewornwoodenfloors.Eventhehum

ofthegossipmillcouldn’tdrownoutthesoundofstilettosonpine.

Myfirstimpressionofherwasleancurves,darkshinyhair,andaroundpeach

ofanassthatwasbeggingtobegrabbed,spanked,andbitten.Thenmysister

leanedoverandwhisperedinmyear,causingmydirtymindtoscreechtoan

unwelcomehalt.

“Iheardhercarbrokedown.”

IacknowledgedMolly’scommentwithanod.Insteadoffocusingonthe

whispersofthepeoplearoundme,Ifoundmyselfmoreintriguedwiththe

expressiononthenewcomer’sface.Itwasquiteaface,afterall.Herbigblue

eyeswerewidewithbewilderment,herprettypinklipspursedasshetriedtoflag

downoneofthewaitressesbusilyrushingbyher.Hercutelittlenosewrinkledin

confusionwhenapassingwaitressfinallycalledout,“Seatyourself,honey!”

IquicklydroppedmyattentionwhenIrealizedtheoneopenseatintheplace

wasdirectlyacrossfromme.

Somuchforquietobservation.

Icouldcertainlyappreciateabeautifulwoman,butthelastthingIwas

interestedinwasgettingmixedupwithapasserby’sdrama—despitehowsexy

herlegslookedasshewalkedtowardthetable.Thischickwouldbegoneand

forgottenbeforesundown,justlikeeveryoneelsewhodidn’tbelonghere.

Mytwinbrotherwasseatedacrossfrommysister,andabouttobeshoulderto

shoulderwiththenewbie.DukesmirkedwhenIlookedup.Theunspoken

conversationwehadduringthetimeittookhertositnexttohimwastotally

inappropriateforSundaylunch.Itbasicallyconsistedofmybrothersilently

saying,I’mgonnatryandhitthat,andmereplying,Don’talwaysthinkwithyour

dick.

Theconnectionbetweenuswastwenty-nineyearsstrong.Ididn’tneedhimto

tellmewhathewasthinking.We’dbeendoingthesamesonganddancesince

we’drealizedthatourdickscouldbeusedformorethanjustpissing.Itwasn’t

thatIdidn’tthinkaboutsex,justthatDukethoughtaboutitawholelotmore.And

ithadlandedhiminafewpricklysituationsovertheyears.LastthingIwanted

wastocleanupanothermessofhis.

Dukewasn’ttheonlycuriousone.Ilookedoveratmysisterandsawshewas

champingatthebittofindoutaboutthestranger.TherewasnostoppingMolly

whenshewantedtogettothebottomofsomething.She’dbeenthemost

inquisitivechildI’devermet,andattwenty-four,shehadn’tstoppedwithher

questforthetruth.Ifshewereacat,shewouldhaveburnedthroughallnineofher

livesbynow.

“Hi,”shesaidnosoonerthanthebrunettewasseatedatourtableand

unfoldinghernapkin.“I’mMollyWilder.”Shereachedacrossthetable,

practicallyshovingherhandinthepoorgirl’sface.

Iwatchedastheawkwardnessunfoldedandtriedhardnottolaughatitall.

“Oh,”thestrangersaid,staringatmysister’shandforamoment.“We’redoing

this.”SheplacedherhandinMolly’sandmusteredupasmile.“I’mCharlotte.”

“Welcome.Thesearemybrothers,DukeandLuke.”Mollydidn’twaittodive

rightintotheinterrogation.“Whatbringsyoutoourfinelittletown?”

ShereleasedCharlotte’shandwhenIelbowedherslightlyintheribs,a

warningtotoneitdown.Whensheside-eyedme,Isimplysatbackinmychair

andshookmyhead,thentuggedmyweatheredA&Mballcapdownabittoshield

mefromit.TherewasnostoppingMolly’sinquisitionatthispoint,andDuke

wouldprobablyhitonCharlottebeforethebiscuitswerebroughttothetable.I

knewIshouldhaveskippedtoday.

Likeitwasevenanoption.

Sundaylunchwithmyfamilywassetinstone.Eversinceourmotherleftwhen

Iwasseven,theWilderfamilyhadspentSundaymorningsattheLutheranchurch

anddinedonfriedchickendirectlyafterward.Infact,everythinginthisplacewas

setinstone.Everydayhadapurpose,andeverypurposehadanendgoal.There

wasroutineandorder,justthewayIlikedit.

WhatIdidn’tlikewasadisruption.Muchliketheonesittingacrossthe

farmhousetablefromme.No,theprettybrunettewithT

OURIST

practicallystamped

onherforeheadwasadisruptionwrappedindistractionanddippedintemptation.

She’dalreadyhookedmybrotherwithhergoodlooksandmysisterwithher

mystery.AndthereIwas,caughtinthemiddle.

“There’ssomethingwrongwithmycar,”CharlottetoldMolly.“And

apparently,Ihavetowaituntiltomorrowtohaveitcheckedout.”

“That’stoobad.”Mollygaveherasympatheticlook.“So,you’llbeherefora

fewdays?”

“Oh,Ihopenot,”Charlottesaid,asifspendingtimeinShadyGrove,Texas,

wastheworstthingshe’deverheardof.“Hopefully,it’saquickfix.”

“Duke’sprettygoodwithcars,”Mollysaid,castingastareacrossthetable.

“Maybehecouldtakealook.”

“Yeah,”hesaidwithagrinthatbouncedfromMollytoCharlotte.“Icouldget

upunderthathood.Takealook.”

“IthinkI’llpass,”CharlottesaidwithoutmissingabeatorlettingDuke’s

charmsgetthebetterofher.

Icouldn’thelpthelaughthatmanagedtobreakfrombetweenmypursedlips

whenshegavehimtheoldthanks,butnothanks.Iloveditwhenawomangave

mybrotheranegocheck.Didn’thappentoooften,soIletmyselfenjoythe

moment.

“Yourloss,sweetheart,”Dukesaid,clearlytakenabackbyherdirectness.

“Iwasn’ttryingtosoundlikeabitchoranything.”Charlottegavehimatight

smile.“Ijust...it’sanAudi.It’sprobablyreallycomplicated,andatrained

professionalisprobablybettersuited.Idon’tknowthatyou’dbeabletohelp

me.”

Itwasonethingforhertoshootamandownbecauseshewasn’tinterested

romantically,butitwasquiteanothertoshootdownhismechanicalskills.Duke,

likeeveryotherguyinthistown,knewhowtofixacar.Evenafancycarlike

hers.

“Somuchfornotsoundinglikeabitch,”Isaid.

“Excuseme?”Shequicklylookedatme.

“Youheardme.”Isatupstraightinmychair.“Hecouldfixyourcarjustfine,”

Iassuredher.

“Well,excusemefornotwantingsomecowboytopokearoundunderthehood

ofmyhundred-thousand-dollarcar.”ShelookedbackatDuke.“Nooffense.”

“Nonetaken.”Asmallsmileplayedonhislipsashesatbackandcrossedhis

armsoverhischest.

“You’rejustgoingtotakeit?”Iaskedhim,confusedthatDukewasbowingout

soeasily.

“Yougotthis,”hesaid,givingmeanod.

Ididn’tknowwhatgamehewasplaying,butifhewasn’tgoingtosetthis

womanstraight,Isurewould.“JustbecauseweliveinTexas,we’reall

cowboys?”

“Ijustassumed.Butifthebootfits,”shesaidwithasmirk,heragitationnow

clearlydirectedatme.

Whichwasfine.Icouldtakeit.“Youknowwhattheysayaboutmaking

assumptions.Andyou’refromwhere?Wait.”

Ipausedandtookasecondtoturnmyballcaparound.IwantedtomakesureI

waslookingthissnootywomanintheeyewhenIgavehertherealitycheckshe

clearlyneeded.HergazeflickedfrommetoDukeastherealizationthatwewere

twinssankin,butIwasn’tinthemoodtodiscussjusthowmuchwelookedalike.

“Letmeguess,”Isaid.“LA?”

“NewYork.”

“Ah.”Inodded.“Makescompletesense.I’msurprisedyoucanevensitthere,

whatwiththestickupyourassandall.Youknow,becauseeveryonefromNew

Yorkhasoneuptheirs.”

Theoohsandaahsthatcamefromthenearbypatronslisteninginonour

conversationweredeafening.

“Wow,”Charlotterepliedwithalookofcompletecalm.

I’llbethefirsttoadmit,Iwaskindofimpressedthatshewasn’tmorerattled.

Hell,maybeevenalittleturnedon.Wasn’teverydayyoumetawomanwhocould

giveasgoodasshecouldget.Ithoughtforsureshe’dgetupandstormoutlikethe

spoiledbratI’dpeggedherfor.

“Ishouldn’thaveassumedthatyouwereallcowboys.”Shegavemeasmug

smileassheshookherhead.“You’reclearlyjustanasshole.”

I’dneverseenawomansomanicuredandpolishedandcleanedup,itmade

mewanttogetheralldirty.Andthatsassystreakthatranamilewide?Fuck,that

justmademewanttoputheronherkneesandshowherwhowasboss.

ChapterTwo

Charlotte

NeverinmylifehadImetanyonemorearrogantthanthemansittingacrossfrom

me.Andthatwasreallysayingsomething,consideringthehigh-societyassholes

I’dbeensurroundedwithmyentirelife.

Didn’tmatteronebittomethathisshoulderswerebroadandhelookedlike

heworkedwithhishands.Ididn’tlettheimageofhimtossinghaybalesor

shovelingdirtpopintomyhead,orwhateveritwasthat“notcowboys”did.The

perfectlysculptedarmsrevealedbytheshortsleevesofhisT-shirtdidn’tdistract

me.Notonedamnbit.

“Takesonetoknowone,sweetheart,”hesaid,narrowinghiseyesonmine.

Nowthathishatwasoutoftheway,Icouldseethealmostevergreencolorof

hiseyesplainandclear.OrifIreallywantedanup-closelook,Icouldglance

overathistwinbrothersittingnexttome.Theymighthavebeenthemostidentical

twinsI’deverseen—fromtheirgreeneyestotheslopeoftheirnoses,rightdown

tothedimplestheybothhadoneachcheek.Thetwowerepracticallycarbon

copies.IfIweren’tsoannoyedbytheonesittingacrossfromme,Imighthave

cozieduptotheideaofspendingalittletimewiththemwhileIwasstuckinthis

town,becausethesexinessfactorwasdefinitelydoubledtoo.

“Ijustcameheretoeat,”Ifinallysaid,wantingtoendthepointlessargument.

Hetuggedhishatbackaround.“Metoo.”

Ourconversationendedthere.Theglaring,however,continuedforthenext

severalminutes.

Itookadeepbreathandtriednottolethisarrogancegetthebestofme.The

onlyproblemwasthathewasthesexiestmanI’deverseeninreallife.They

didn’tmakemenlikehiminNewYork,allruggedandrougharoundtheedges.

“Allright,folks,”thewaitresssaid,finallystoppingatourtable.“CanIgetya

somedrinks,orjustsweetteaallaround?”

“I’lltakeawaterwithlemon,”IsaidastheWildersallnoddedforicedtea.

Thewaitressnodded.“Yes,ma’am.”

“AndcanIgetamenu?”

Assoonasthequestionwasoutofmymouth,thewaitressandeveryone

withinearshotsnickered.

Iwasconfused.Thiswasarestaurant,right?

“Lunchisupontheboard.”Thewaitressturnedtopointatachalkboardonthe

wall.“Whatyouseeiswhatyouget.”Shesmiledandlefttocheckonanother

table.

“It’sfamily-style,”Mollyexplained.

“Whatdoesthatmean?”

“Onebigmealbroughtoutallinbigbowls.Allservedatonce.”

“Oh.”Ifinallyrealizedwhatshemeant.“LikeThanksgiving.”

“Exactly!”

NotthatanyofmyThanksgivingdinnershadbeenservedthatway.Myfamily

alwayshadafullycateredmealwithsomefancifulversionofturkeyandstuffing.

IimaginedthisparticularmealwasgoingtobemorelikewhatIsawon

television.Happyfamilies,onebigbowlofmashedpotatoes,andsmilesall

around.Definitelynotlikethedinnersinmymemories.

Family-stylewasn’tinmyvocabulary.Andmorethanthat,Iwasusedtomy

privacy,nothavingtofightforelbowroomandlistentootherpeople’sprivate

conversations.

Iflaggeddownthewaitressasshepassedbywithatrayofbiscuits.“Excuse

me,butdoyouhaveabooth,ormaybejustaprivatetableinback?It’sbeenahell

ofaday,and—”

Shetuckedalooselockofhairbackintoherbraid.“I’mgoingtotakeawild

guessandwageryou’renotfromaroundhere.”

Whatdoesthathavetodowithanything?

Mygazewanderedbacktothehottieacrossfromme.Hewassmirking.

“Doesthismakeyouuncomfortable?”heasked.“Sittingclosetome?”

Ilookedbacktothewaitressforhelp,butshewasalreadygone.

“I’mnotuncomfortable,”Isaid,straighteningmyposture.

Hiseyebrowsjumpedupashestudiedme.“Youlookuncomfortable.”

Realizingthatmyspinewasramrodstraightandmyhandswerefistedinmy

lap,Ihuffedoutasigh.

Afewmomentslater,plattersgenerouslypiledwithhome-cookedfoodwere

delivered,andthoseseatedaroundmewastednotimeinloadinguptheirplates.

“You’renotgoingtoeat?”Dukeasked,leaningovertoinspectmyplate.

AndthiswaswhyIwantedaprivatetable.Ididn’twantsomeonecheckingon

myprogresslikeIwasafinickytoddlerwhoneededsupervising.Ididn’t

generallyeatcarbs,orthingsthatweredeep-friedinlard.

“Iameating,”Itoldhim,forkinguponeofthebeansonmyplate.“These

greenbeansaredelicious.”

“Probablybecausethey’recookedinbacon,”thehottiesaid,hisfirstwords

sincethemealhadstarted.“So,Ihopeyou’reintofat,”headdedwithasmirk.

Notwantingtogivehimabitofsatisfaction,Ibitintothegreenbeanand

smiledasIslowlyusedmylipstopullitfromthefork.Ididn’tmissthewayhis

eyeswidenedasIate.IlearnedalongtimeagoviaCluelessthatdrawing

attentiontoyourmouthwasalwaysasurefirewaytogarneraman’sattention.

Baconfatbedamned.

“Iam,actually,”Isaid.“Makesitslidedowneasier.”

Iwatchedwithdelightasheswallowedhard.Servesyouright,pal.

Iwasn’tsureexactlywhyIwassohappythathewascaughtupinmylittle

performance,butitpleasedmeandstokedthesmallfireIcouldfeelburningdeep

inmystomachwhenIlookedathim.ItwastoobadhewassuchajerkandthatI’d

swornoffmenforthetimebeing.Wecouldhavehadalotoffuntogether.

“Youknowyouwantsomeofmychicken,”Lukesaid,hisvoicelowand

teasing.

Ihatedtheshiverthatracedalongmyspine.“Idonotwantyourchicken.”

“It’sokay.Youcanhavesome,duchess.”

Duchess?Iwasn’tsurewherehe’dgottenthenicknameuntilIrealizedhe

probablyhadmepeggedforaspoiledlittlerichbrat.Toanyonewhodidn’tknow

thetruth,that’sprobablywhatIlookedlike.Butinmyheart,itwasn’twhoIwas.

WhichwasexactlywhyI’dfledandlefteverythingbehind.

OnceI’dpickedmyplatecleanofsaladandgreenbeans,Istoodupwithouta

wordandwenttotheregistertopay,andthenhurriedoutthedoor.Thisentire

mealhadbeenadisaster,andIwasn’tevenclosetofull.

“Charlotte,”avoicecalledoutasIwalkeddownthesidewalktowardtheauto

repairshop.

IturnedtofindMollychasingafterme,leavingherbrotherswaitingbythe

frontdooroftherestaurant.Istoppedandlethercatchup.

“I’mrealsorryaboutLuke,”shesaid.“He’susuallynotsouptight.I’mnot

surewhatgotintohim.”

Inthesunlight,Icouldseeherresemblancetoherbrothers.Thesamesun-

bleachedbrownhairandsweetsmile.Butwherethetwins’eyesweregreen,hers

werebrown,andshehadnodimples.Shewasaprettygirlwithagood

disposition,probablythekindofpersonIcould—oratleast,should—befriends

withifthecircumstancesweredifferent.

“It’sallright,”Itoldher.“Youdon’thavetoapologizeforhim.”Lookingover

hershoulder,Isneakedaquickglanceatthejerk.Oureyeslockedforamoment,

butIquicklylookedbacktoMolly.“He’sagrown-up.Heshouldbeableto

handlehimself.”

“Ijustwantedtowelcomeyoutotown.Hopeyoudon’tthinkwe’reall

assholes,”shesaidwithachuckle,andIsmiledback.

“Idon’t.”

“Good.”Sheplacedahandonmyshoulder.“IhopeIseeyouaround,”she

addedbeforehurryingbackinherbrothers’direction.

Asniceasmakinganewfriendwouldbe,IwashopingmytimeinShady

Grovewasclosetoover.

•••

I’dbeeninthislittletownallofanhour,andalreadyitfeltlikehell.Aftermycar

hadcoastedintoShadyGrovemakinganawfulscreechingnoise,I’dparkeditat

theonlygasstationIsaw,whichwasalsoanautorepairshop.Unfortunately,a

signpostedonthedoorreadC

LOSED

FOR

UNCH

“I’msorry,what?”Isaidtotheattendantbehindthecounter.I’dbeensohappy

whenIgotbackfrommyownlunchandfoundthatthelittlerepairshophad

reopened.Myreliefwasquicklydashedbythewomanrunningtheregister.

“Wayne’souttoday,”shesaid.

IassumedshewasreferringtotheWayneofW

AYNE

’

UTO

EPAIR

,asthesign

ontheoutsideofthebuildingstated.

“Couldyoucallhim?”IaskedaspolitelyasIcould.

“It’sSunday.”

“Okay...”Iwaitedforabetterexplanation,andwhenitwasn’tforthcoming,

asked,“Whydoesthatmatter?”

Shechuckled.“Waynedoesn’tworkonSunday.”

“I’llpayhimtoworkonSunday.”

TheonethingIhadbeensuretopackwhenIleftNewYorkwastheblack

AmExcardmyparentshadgivenme.Theymightnotbemyfavoritepeopleatthe

moment,butIhadnoproblemspendingtheirmoneyifIhadto.

“Honey,”shesaid,leaningovertorestherforearmsonthecounterthat

separatedus.HergrayingblondhairwassetincurlsfromwhatIassumedwasa

perm,andtherealizationofjusthowoutofplaceIwasstartedtosetin.“Letme

putitthisway.Waynedoesn’tworkonSundaybecausehe’sprobablybeen

drinkingsinceFriday.He’dbeuselesstoday.AndtheLonghornskickoffinabout

fifteenminutes.There’sabetterchanceofthatprettylittlecarofyoursfixingitself

thangettingWaynetocomeintoday.”

“Maggie,”Isaidafterglancingathernametag.“Arethereanyother

mechanicsinthistownthatworkonSunday?”

“I’msorry.”Sheshookherheadandofferedhersympathywithahalfsmile.

“Wayne’stheonlymechanicintown.”

“That’sjustgreat.”

Irubbedmyhandsovermyface,hopingthatmaybethiswasalljustadream.

WhenIopenedmyeyesandthefluorescentlightingandMaggie’sapatheticface

greetedme,IknewmyrealitywasmuchworsethanI’dthought.

“WhatshouldIdo?”Ifinallyasked.

“There’salittlebedandbreakfast—theWillowInn—afewblocksthatway.”

Shepointedoutthewindowofthestation.“Maybegetahotshower,”she

suggested.“Relax.”

Inodded,tryingnottocryoutofutterfrustration.Thelasthourhadbeen

eventful,andnotinagoodway,andnowitlookedlikeIwasspendingthenightin

ShadyGrovewhetherIlikeditornot.

“Waynecomesinearly,soassoonasyougetupinthemorning,youcomeon

down.He’llhelpyouout.”

“Thanks,”Imuttered,unabletomusterupasmile.Notthatshe’dhelpedmuch,

anyway.

IstartedtopushthroughthedoorandsetofffortheB&Bshe’drecommended,

andthenglancedbackinherdirection.

“Howfarofawalkisittotheinn?”Ilookeddownatmycutesuedebooties

withtheirfive-inchheels.“ShouldIcallanUber?”

“Awhat?”

“Youknow,likeadrivingservice?Ormaybeacab?”

Maggie’slaughcameupfromdeepinherchest.WhensherecognizedthatI

wasn’tamused,shepausedandcomposedherself.“Oh,blessyourheart.Wedon’t

haveanythinglikethathere.Besides,it’sonlyahalfmiledowntotheWillow,”

sheassuredme.

IthankedherwithanodandsavedtheeyerollforwhenIwasaloneinthe

parkinglotandgatheringmybelongingsfrommycar.NoStarbucks,noUber,and

notamechanicinsight.

WhatkindofhelldidIstumbleinto?

•••

“TheirnamesareLukeandDuke,”ItoldValentinaoverthephone.AfterI’d

checkedinandgottensettledinmyroom,I’dwandereddownstairsandfounda

comfychairinasecludedspotofthelivingroom.Thesunwasstartingtoseton

thisday,andtomorrowcouldn’tcomefastenough.

“Seriously?”shesaidwithachuckle.ItwasthesamethoughtI’dhadwhenI’d

pieceditalltogetheronmywalkhome.“TwinsnamedLukeandDuke.That’sso

country.”

“Isn’tit?”Ilaughed.

Thefinishlinewasinmysights,andthethoughtofbeinginthistownforany

longerthanIhadtowasnauseating.Besidesthat,Ihadanewlifetostartliving.

WhenI’dpackedupandstartedoffonthisadventure,Itoldmyselfitwasanew

beginning.Butatthemoment,itfeltlikeIwasinapurgatoryofopencornfields

andhot,arrogantassholeswithmusclestothemoonandback.

“Justbreatheforme.You’llbehereinacoupleofdays,tops.”

“Iknow,”Isaid,feigningenthusiasm.

It’snotthatIwasn’texcitedaboutgettingtoValentina’s—shewastheonly

personwho’deverreallyunderstoodexactlywhoIwas.No,itwasthefifteen

hundredmilesthatstoodbetweenhereandtherethathadmedown.

Icheckedmyreflectionintheantiquemirrorhangingonthewall.The

demandsandexpectationsI’denduredhadleftaseriousmarkonme,andhad

apparentlystartedmedownthepathofearlyaging.Twenty-eightwasfartoo

youngtofeelsobeatdown.

NothingalittleWestCoastsunshinewon’tclearup.

Withmyfreshstartsoclose,Ihatedtheideaofanymoredelays.

“It’stoobadoneofthemwassuchajerk,”Iadded.“They’renottoobadto

lookat.”

Ihadn’tbeenabletoshaketheimageofLukestaringatme.Asannoyingashe

was,he’dignitedasparkofattractionthatIhadn’tfeltinaverylongtime.Ithad

tobearesultofmylastrelationship,theonewhereIwasunderappreciatedand

oftenignored.MylibidohadapparentlytakenLuke’saggressionasattentionand

decidedtofirebackup.

“Youwouldfindtheonlyhottwinsinthemiddleofnowhere.”Shechuckled.

“Ican’twaitforyoutogethere.It’sbeentoolong.”

“Isawyouaweekago,”Isaid.“Youknow,rightbeforeIwalkedouton...”I

searchedfortherightword,butthereweresomanythatwouldfinishthesentence.

Everything.Myparents.Anentireguestlistfullofpeople.Myguaranteed

futureofprivilege.

“Don’tevensayit,”Valentinasaid.“You’removingon,remember?Moving

forward.”

“Well,I’mnotmovingforwardatthemoment,”Iremindedher.“Currently,I’m

stuck.”

“Yeah,butyou’restuckinatownwithhottwins,soquitcomplaining.”

“Yeah,yeah.”IrolledmyeyesatthesmirkIwassureshehadonherface.

“Fingerscrossedmycarisfixedtomorrow,andIcangetbacktomovingon.”

“Fingerscrossed,”sherepeatedbeforewesaidourgood-byes.

Ihungupmyphoneandplaceditonthearmofthechairbeforepickingupthe

magazineI’dstartedreadingbeforeValentinacalled.

“DidIhearthatyoumettheWilders?”

Opal,thefrontdeskclerkwho’dcheckedmein,interruptedmerightbeforeI

foundoutexactlywhathappenedbetweenthelatestcelebrity-couplesplit.I

lookedupfromthepagesandfoundherstandinginthearchwaythatseparatedthe

lobbyfromthelivingroom.

“Idid,”Isaid.“Wasn’timpressed.”

“They’regoodpeople.Youmusthavecaughtthemonabadday.”

“Maybe.IdidlikeMolly.AndDukewasn’tterrible.”

“It’sashamewhatthey’vebeenthrough.”

Sheturnedtowalkaway,butIwasintrigued.

“Wait...Whathavetheybeenthrough?”

Opalstoppedandturnedbacktofaceme,hereyesfullofsadness.“Their

mommaranoutonthemwhentheywerejustbabies.Andtheirdaddymayaswell

have.Hereallytried,butthemanjustcouldn’tputdownthebottle.”

“That’sterrible.”

“Thoseboyshadtogrowuprealfast.TakingcareofMolly,runningthefamily

business.Itwasalottohandle,butthey’vedonethebesttheycould.”

MyheartclenchedasIthoughtaboutyoungerversionsofLukeandDuketrying

totakecareofMolly.

Opalgavemeasmile.“Anyway,Ididn’tmeantobringdownyourevening.

Justthoughtyoumightwanttogivethemafairshakebeforeyouwrotethemoff.

AndtheirfullnamesareLucasandDaniel,”sheadded.“LukeandDukearejust

nicknamestheypickedupalongtheway.”

ChapterThree

Luke

“Morning,Wayne,”IsaidasIsteppedinsidetherepairshopbrightandearly

Mondaymorning,greetingtheoldbastardwithasmuchenthusiasmasIcould

muster.IknewhewasabouttoscrewmeonthepriceofanewhosefortheChevy.

Damntruckhadbeeninmyfamilyfortwogenerationsnow,andwasshowingher

age.

“Whereyabeen?”heasked,pullinghisheadoutfromunderthehoodofa

fancyforeigncar.“I’vehadyourpartwaitingsinceFriday.”

Sleeklines,perfectcurves...thecarhadtobeCharlotte’s.Thebrazenlittle

minxhadbeenonmymindsincemyrun-inwithheryesterday.Wantingtoavoida

repeatperformance,Icametothegarageearlytopickupmypart.Didn’tpegher

asanearlyriser.

“Igottiedupwithaleakinoneofthedrums,”Itoldhim.“Theentireplace

wasamessbeforewefoundit.TookmeandDukeallweekendtogetitcleaned

up.”

“That’sadamnshame,”Waynesaid.“Ihateitwhengoodliquorgetsspilled.”

“Youandmeboth.”

Itwasmoreaboutthedollarsthatwerespilledthananything.DukeandIwere

soclosetobeingintheblackthatwecouldpracticallytastetheprofits.Itwould

beanicechangesinceourfatherhaddonehisbesttorunWilderWhiskeyintothe

ground.

“Whatchagothere?”Iasked,walkingovertotakeapeekunderthehood.I

thoughtIknewtheanswer,butdamnitifIdidn’task.

Whatwasitaboutthisgirlthathadmesocurious?Iknewenoughaboutherto

knowthatIdidn’tparticularlyenjoyhercompany,butIhadn’tbeenabletoshake

thoseblueeyesfrommyhead.Orthesweetcurveofherassasshewalkeddown

thesidewalksI’dpracticallywornoutovertheyears.

It’sbecauseshe’sshinyandnew,dumbass.

Charlottewasthefirstfreshbloodwe’dhadinthistowninalongtime.My

ex-girlfriendwasthelast,andIalwayshopedshewouldstaythatway.Thelast

thingIneededwasarepeatperformanceofthatshitshow.IknewfordamnsureI

couldn’thandleit.

“SomethingIneverthoughtI’dseeinthisplace.”Hemovedovertogiveme

roomandpointedattheengine.“YouknowanythingaboutAudis?”

“Iknowtheycostwaytoomuch,”Isaidwithasmirk.“Ahundredgrand,I

think.”ItriedtorecallexactlywhatCharlottehadspoutedoffatWhattheCluck.

“Well,shit,”Waynesaid.“I’dbetterputonsomegloves.”Hewipedoneofhis

greasyhandsdownthefrontofhisoveralls.

“Itwasactuallyahundredtwentythousand,”anall-too-familiarsarcastic

voiceoffered.“Ifyouwanttobespecific.”

“I’dsayyoupaidtoomuch,”Isaid,turningtofindtheearlyriser.

CharlottestoodthereinasimplewhiteT-shirt,ripped-updenimjeans,and

Conversetennisshoes.Atfirstglance,italmostlookedlikeshefitinhereinour

smalltown,butIhadaprettygoodideathatheroutfitcostmorethantheChevy

partIwasheretopickup.

“GoodthingIdidn’tpayforit,”shesaidwithasmirk.

“Ifigured.”

“What’sthatsupposedtomean?”

Shecrossedherarmsacrossherbody,inadvertentlyshovingapretty

spectacularsetoftitsupevenmorethantheyalreadyperkilysat.Thedeepveeof

herT-shirtwasn’thidingmuch,andIwasappreciativeofthat.

IlookedoveratWayne.Hewasprettyappreciativeoftheviewtoo.

“AreyousayingthatIcouldn’tbuymyselfacarlikethat?”Thesteamrolling

offherwasjustassexyasthecleavage.

“Relax,Charlie,”Isaid,feelingmycocktwitchbehindthezipperofmy

Levi’s.Theholdthisgirlhadonmyattentionwasasfrustratingashell.“I’mnot

sayingthat.Ijustfiguredthatitwasagift.”

“Oh,soyouwereassuming.Youknowwhattheysayaboutthat?”Shelaughed,

repeatingmyquestionfromthedaybefore.

“You’reright.”Iheldupmyhandsinsurrender.“Itwaswrong.Iapologize.”

Thesatisfiedsmileonherfacewasenoughtoearnmyapology.Infact,astring

ofideasranthroughmyheadaboutallthewaysIcouldearnafewmoreofthose

smiles.I’duseawholelotmorethanmywords.I’dstartwithmymouthand

hands,andthenworkdowntothepartofmybodythatwascurrentlybogarting

morethanitsfairshareofmybloodsupply.

“Gladwecouldworkthatout.”Shebreezedbymeandextendedherhandto

Wayne.“I’mCharlotteFreemont.YoumustbeWayne.”

“Iam,”hesaid,grabbingherhandwithhisgreasypaw.

BothWayneandCharlottedroppedtheirgazetotheconnectionbetweenthem,

andIcouldn’thelpbutlaugh.Onewasmortifiedthathe’dforgottenaboutthe

grease,andtheotherhadprobablyneverbeendirtierinherentirelife.

“Oh,thisisgreat,”Isaid,leaningupagainstoneoftheothercarsthatWayne

hadinthegarage.AllIneededwaspopcorn.

“I’mrealsorry.”Waynequicklypulledaclean-ishragfromhisbackpocket

andhandedittoher.

“It’sfine.”Charlottefrownedassheswipedatthegreaseonherhand.She

glancedbackatme,andIsensedshewasdoingherbesttoreininthatstick-up-

her-assNewYorkattitude.“Justtellmeyoucanfixmycar.”

“Ican,”Waynesaidproudly.

“That’sgreat.”Shebeamedathimasshereturnedhisrag.“Today?”

“Well...”Wayneshovedtheraginthebackpocketofhisoverallsandrubbed

ahandonhisneck.“’Boutthat...”

“Comeon,”shepleaded.“I’llpayyouextraifyouhaveitdonetoday.Ireally

needtogetoutofhere.I’msupposedtobeinLA.”

Ofcoursesheis.

Wayneshookhishead.“Honey,evenifIwantedto,Idon’thavethepartI

need.”

“Whereisit?”

“OnitswayfromAmarillo.Shouldbeheretomorrow.Wednesdayatthe

latest.”

“So,Wednesday.”

“Notquite.ThenIhavetoputthepartin.”Heglancedskywardashe

considered.“Withthisnewenginecomponent,it’llprobablytakemeawhile,and

thenIhavetoputthewholethingbacktogether.MaybeFriday.”

“FML.”Sheletoutahuffandrolledhereyes.

“Oh,comeon,Charlie,”Isaid,hopingtodefusethetension.“Thisplaceisn’t

thatbad.”Thatstatementinitselfearnedmeaglare.

“It’sCharlotte,”sheremindedme.

Iknewexactlywhathernamewas,soIjustshrugged.

“Youseriouslycan’thaveitdoneanyfaster?”sheaskedWayneaftershe

finishedshootingdaggersinmydirection.

IknewaswellasWaynethatifhereallywantedto,hecouldhavehercar

donebyWednesday.Icouldseethedollarsignsinhiseyes.Ifhestretchedthisjob

outlongenough,hecouldchargeaprettypennyforlabor.Maybeitwouldserve

herrightforowningsuchanexpensivecar.Therewasnothingmodestaboutitand

clearlyscreamedshehadmoneytoburn.

“Youcanworkfasterthanthat,”ItoldWayne,steppingupbyherside.“Just

becauseyoucantaketillFridaydoesn’tmeanyouhaveto.”

“Whatareyoudoing?”Charlottefrownedatme,herconfusionnowlacedwith

agitation.

“Helpingyouout.”Iflashedheragrin.See,Icanbecivil.Helpful,even.

“Idon’tneedyourhelp,”shesnapped.“Icanbuymyowndamncars,andIcan

surelynegotiateadealtogetthemfixed.”

“Ijustthought—”IstartedtotellherthatIknewaguyinAustinwhocould

havethepartinandinstalledwellbeforeFriday,butthegirljustcouldn’tkeepher

mouthshut.

“Icantakecareofmyself.IhaveadegreeinmarketingfromYale,”shespat

out.“AndmyfamilyrunsoneofthelargestfirmsinNewYorkCity.Thanksforthe

offer,butnothanks.”

“Okaythen.”Ihesitatedforamoment,notwantingtolosethecoolI’dbeenso

desperatelytryingtokeep.Shewasn’tmakingiteasy.Ihadabusinesstorun,and

thelastthingIneededwastogetmixedupinherdrama.

“Thanksforthepart,Wayne.”IgavehimanodasIgrabbedthehoseoffthe

counterbythedoor.“Sendmeabill.”

Ididn’tevenbotherlookingatCharlotte.Ifshewantedtotakecareofherself,

shecoulddojustthat.

•••

“Sonofabitch,”Imuttered,tryingtogetthenewhoseintoplace.Afterthethird

try,ItosseditonthegroundandsteppedawayfromtheChevy.Frustrated,I

kickedupsomegravelfromthedrivewayasIpacedalongsidetherustyoldtruck

andslappedahandonthefender.

“Easythere,”mybrothersaid,easinguptomelikeIwasawildbeast.“Takea

breath.It’snotthetruck’sfault.”

“Itkindofis.Goddamnthingissoold,andeverythingisbentoutofshapein

it.”

“Kindoflikeyourightnow.”Hecuffedmyshoulder.“Especiallytheold

part.”

“Twofuckingminutesolderthanyou,”Isaid,flippinghimoff.Charlottemight

havebeengoodatpushingmybuttons,butDukewasanexpert.

“Whatcrawledupyourassthisearly?”Hepickedupthediscardedhoseand

walkedovertotakealookunderthehoodforhimself.

“Justoneofthosedays.Weeks,actually.First,theleakydrum,andnowthis,”I

huffed.“Anddon’tevengetmestartedonMissNewYork.”

“Ah,”Dukesaidashewiggledthehoseintoplace.“Thatexplainsitall.

Lady’sgotyourtailinatwist.”

“Theladydoesnot.”

“Mm-hmm.”Hechuckled.“I’msureyou’rereallythismadoverthesameshit

wedealwithallthetime.We’realwaysfixingthistruckorabrokenpartofthe

piss-tillery,”hesaidusingthepetnamehe’dcomeupwithforournon-profitable

business.

“Yeah,Iknow.”Isighed.“Maybethat’stheproblem.I’msickofthisshit.”

“No,you’renot,”heshotback.“You’retheonlyoneinthefamilythatactually

believeswecanmakesomethingoutofthisplace.”

Ilookedaroundtheproperty,takingstockofwhatexactlywehad—adecent

farmhouse,acoupleofsheds,andafullyrestoredbarnthathousedthedistillery.

Allonanicepieceofacreage.

DukegavemeapatonthebackbeforeheshutthehoodoftheChevy.“AndI

didn’twanttosaythisbecauseIhategivingyouanymoreofanegoboostthanI

haveto,butthatlastbatchwepulledwasactuallyprettydamngood.”

Igrinnedbackathim.“Itwasgood,wasn’tit?”

“Yeah,itwas.Iknowit’snotallofthisgettingyourgoat,”hesaid,throwing

hishandsout.“IfMissNewYorkisreallygettingunderyourskinthatmuch,I

suggestyoueitherfuckher,orgohelpWaynegethercarfixedandgetherthehell

outoftown.YouandIbothknowthatonlyoneofuscanberiledupatatime,and

I’mnotverygoodatkeepingmycomposure.”

Fuckher?WasthatwhatIreallywanted?Ithadtobe.Maybewecouldtake

ourhostilityandturnitintosomethingalittlemorefun.

God,Ihatedwhenmybrotherwasthesmartone.Iusuallyworethathat.

“Maybeyou’reright,”Iadmittedwithashakeofmyhead.

“You’regoddamnrightIam,”hesaid,gloating.“So,whatareyougoingtodo

aboutit?”

ChapterFour

Charlotte

“Let’sstartover,”Isaid,tryingnottothinkaboutthesexy-as-hellcountryboy

who’djuststormedoutoftherepairshop.

Sure,hewasjusttryingtohelp,butthesecondhedecidedthatIwasn’t

capableofhandlingthissituationonmyown,Isnapped.Nowhewasgone,andI

washerenegotiatingadealwiththegreasemonkey.

“Ineedthiscarfixedassoonaspossible.YouandIbothknowIdon’tbelong

here,”Isaid,andWaynenoddedinagreement.“Canyoupleasehelpmeout?”

“I’llputyourcaratthetopofthelist,”hefinallyagreed.“I’llaimfor

Wednesday,butI’mchargingextrafortherushjob.”

“Iwouldn’texpectanythingless,”Isaidwithasmile.

Whenhereachedouthishandtosealthedeal,Ihesitated.Minewerestill

greasyfromourfirsthandshake.

WhenIdidn’ttakehishand,helaughed.“Okaythen.Verbalagreement,itis.”

“Agreed.”

AsIwalkedoutofWayne’sAutoRepair,Ifeltasenseofpride.I’ddoneiton

myown.ThewordsofthepeopleI’dleftbehindinNewYorkrepeatedinmy

head.

“Letmehandlethis.”

“Justbeagoodlittlegirlandletthementakecareofeverything.”

“Youdon’thavetodoanythingbutlookpretty.”

ThehellIdid.I’dhandlewhatevercamemyway.Iwasanindependent

woman.

AsIwalkeddownthecrackedsidewalksofShadyGrovetowardthebusiness

district,Ifeltlikealioness.Sure,itwasasmallfeat,negotiatingadealformycar

repair,butdamnitifIdidn’tfeellikeroaring.ThiswaswhatKatyPerryhadbeen

singingabout.

Ipassedtheterriblechickenrestaurantwiththeridiculousnameandheaded

towardablockofsmallshops,allconnectedinarow.Whilethestructuresofthe

buildingswereallthesameagingbrickandwood,eachstorefronthaditsown

personality.Anantiquestorewasfirst,withgingerbread-styletrimandasignthat

readY

ESTERYEAR

.Itwasfollowedbyasmallhardwarestore,thenanewspaper

office,TheShadyGroveGazette.IchuckledasIwalkedpastthewindowand

sawtwopeopleinside,busilytypingawayontheircomputers.

Whatcouldtheypossiblyhavetoreportoninthistown?

Whenoneofthenewspaperworkerslookedupandcaughtmestaring,she

smiledandwaved.

Ohshit.Whatifthey’rewritingaboutme?Whatiftheout-of-towneristhe

headlinestory?

Iquicklyduckedoutofsightandmovedontothenextbuilding.ThelastthingI

neededwaspress,eveninasmalltown.Ifthestorysomehowmadeitswayback

toNewYork,someonewouldsurelycomeandtrytofindme.Totalksenseinto

me,asmyfatherhadputit.

Ididn’tneedatalking-to;Ineededtobeleftalone.Ineededtodosomething

onmyownforonce.I’dalreadyimaginedthesurpriseonmyparents’faceswhen

theyfoundmyapartmentemptyandmybelongingsgone.Theywereprobablystill

pissedthattheyhadtosendachurchfullofpeoplehome.Servedthemrightfor

signingmeupforsomethingIdidn’tagreeto.

Itookinadeepbreath,pleasedthatthefreshcountryairseemedtocalmmy

nerves.Thisplacewasn’tsobad.Withlittletonotrafficandlittletonopeople,it

wasaquietplace.Agoodplacetocollectyourself.Toreflectandplanahead.

Also,agoodplacetogetsomemuch-neededalonetime...ortogetmynails

done,IrealizedasIfoundmyselfinfrontofaquaintlittlesalon—CutandDyed.

Mayaswellmakethemostofthismorning,IthoughtasIlookeddownatmy

handsandgrimacedatmychippednailpolish.

Iwalkedthroughthedoor,andtheeyesofthethreeclientsandthestylists

helpingthemallfocusedonme.Theclientswereallofacertainage,asinold.

Andthestylistsallappearedtobeintheirmid-forties,eachofthemmodelingthe

latestinmomcuts.

“CanIhelpyou?”oneofthestylistsaskedfrombehindthechairofanelderly

womangettingpermrodstwistedintoherhair.

Foramoment,IthoughtImusthaveenteredatimewarp.Permrods?

“Ihopeso,”Isaidwithasmile.“Iwashopingtogetamanicure.”Iheldupa

handtorevealtheremnantsofpolishonmynails.“Andablowout?”

TherewasnothingIlovedmorethansomeoneelsedoingmyhairforme.Back

inNewYork,Iwenteverytwoorthreedays.IjusthopedtoGodthisplace

offeredmorethanperms.

“Ofcourse,”shesaidwithasmile,andthenyelled,“Audrey!”startlingnot

onlyme,butherclient.“Doyouhavetimeforamanicure?”sheaskedayounger-

lookinggirlwhosteppedintothesalonfromabackroom.

“Sure,”Audreysaidwithasmile.

Unlikehercoworkers,Audreywasalittlespriteofathing.Herlongdarkhair

wasanunnaturalcolorofburgundy,butitsuitedherstyle,whichwasblackjeans

andavintage-lookingT-shirtwiththewordsL

IVE

REE

onthefront.Hereyeswere

dramaticallylinedwithdarkcharcoal,andtattoosonherarmsandcollarbone

peekedoutfromhershirt.

“Comeonback.”Shebeckonedmewithawave,andthemismatchedbangle

braceletsonherwristsclinkedtogetherinanalmostsoothingmelody.“I’m

Audrey,incaseyoudidn’tcatchthatannouncement,”shesaidwithachuckle.

Ifollowedhertoasmallroominthebackofthesalon,whereanailtablewas

setupinacorner.“Iheard.”

“Bessisabitofaloudmouth,”sheconfessedaswetookourseatsoutof

earshotoftherestofthecrew.

“Savesonanintercomsystem.”

“Suredoes.”Shesmiled.“So,youmustbethenewgirl.”

“Isthatwhatthey’recallingme?”

“Newgirl.Out-of-towner.Broke-downAudiatWayne’s.Tonameafew,”she

saidwithagrin.

“It’sCharlotte,”Itoldher.

“Well,Charlotte,it’snicetomeetyou.”Sheplacedasmalldishwithaself-

explanatorydecorationinthecenterthatreadR

INGS

AND

HINGS

IslippedoffthetworingsIworeonmyrighthandandplacedtheminthedish,

thenmanagedtostopmyselffromreachingfortheringthatusedtobeonmyleft

hand.ThephantomweightthatIstillfeltonthatfourthfingerwasstartingtofade,

butifyoulookedcloselyyoucouldseetheoutlineofwhatusedtobe.Or,atleast,

whatcouldhavebeen.

“Doyouhaveacolorinmind?”Audreyasked,pullingmebacktothepresent.

“LincolnParkAfterDark,”Isaidwithouthesitation.

“Ilikeagirlthatknowswhatshewants,”shesaidwithanod.“It’smyfavorite

too.”Sheheldupherperfectlymanicuredhands.“Justtouchedmineup

yesterday.”

“It’sastaple.”

“Itreallyis.”

AswebondedoverourloveofOPI,Ihadtoadmitalittlepangofjealousy

rakedthroughme.Audreycouldpaintherownnails.Luckygirl.EverytimeItried

to“touchup”mypolish,itendeduplookinglikeadrunktoddlerhadbeenholding

thebrush.

Idippedonehandintothebowlofwarm,scentedwaterthatAudreyofferedas

shereadiedhersupplies.

“WhatdoyouthinkofShadyGrove?”Shepickedupmyotherhandandbegan

toremovetheoldpolish.“Honestly?”sheaddedwithapointedlook.

“Well...”Ihesitated.“It’ssmall.”

“Microscopic.”

“Butit’squaint,”Isaid,tryingtobepolite.

“It’sPodunk.”

“Maybealittle.Mostofthepeoplearereallynice,though.”

“Theycanbe.”Sheslippedmypolish-freehandbackintothewaterand

pickeduptheother.“Whohaveyoumet?BesidesWayne,”shesaidwitha

chuckle.“He’satrip,right?”

“Heis,buthedidagreetogetmycarfixedbyWednesday,sothat’sgood.”

“HisWednesdayisusuallyFriday.”Whenasmallsighslippedfrommylips,

sheadded,“Butmaybehe’llprovemewrong.Enoughabouthim.Whoelsehave

youmet?”

“Opalattheinn,”Isaid.“She’ssweet,andtheroomshegavemeisvery

nice.”

“Greatgal.”

“AndMaggieatWayne’s.”

“Nosygossip,”Audreysaidmatter-of-factly.“HernicknameisMaggiethe

Mouth.”

“Goodtoknow.”Ilaughed.

“MollyWilder.”

“Loveher.Weactuallygraduatedtogether.”

“Sheseemsawesome,”Itoldher.“Andherbrothers.”

Audreygavemeaslygrin.“Nicetolookat,right?”

“They’reokay.”Ishrugged,tryingnottofanthefirethatseemedtoburninside

mewhenIthoughtaboutLuke.Theywerebeyondnicetolookat.Itwasthetalking

partthatIwasn’tafanof.“Ihaven’thadtoomuchinteractionwiththem.Duke

seemsniceenough,butIknowaplayerwhenIseeone.”

“Youpeggedhim.”Audreynodded,confirmingmysuspicions.“AndLuke?”

“MostarrogantmanI’veevermet.”

Whatwasevenmorefrustratingthanhisarrogancewasthefactthatnomatter

howhardItried,themomentIthoughtabouthim,mybodyheatedwithmorethan

justanger.Myheartratepickedup.Mypalmsbecamesweaty.Mymouthwent

fromdrytowetinsecondsasifreadytoriphispantsoffwithmyteethandtake

careofhimfrommyknees.AndIdidn’tevenliketheguy.Fuckinginfuriatingwas

whatitwas.

“Really?”Shebeganfilingmynails.“I’msurprised.He’susuallyprettydown-

to-earth.”

“Nottome.Sofar,myinteractionswithhimhaveincludedhimtellingmethat

I’mstuck-upandspoiled.”HeatroseinmychestasIthoughtabouthim.“He’sgot

somenerve,I’lltellyouthatmuch.Isawhimthismorningatthegarage,andhe

actuallytriedtonegotiatewithWayneonmybehalf.AsifIcouldn’tdoitmyself,”

Iscoffed.

“That’sterrible,”Audreysaid.“Ihateitwhenagood-lookingmanoffershis

help.Whatabastard.”

“Right?Idon’tneedamantotakecareofme.”

“Girlpower.”Audreyheldupahandinsolidarity.“Imean,whatkindof

assholewouldtrytohelpawomanout?Especiallyinaplacethatshe’snever

beento,andtalkingtoamechanicthathe’sknownsincebirth.Onethathe

probablyknowsforsurewouldtakeadvantageofsomeonethatdrivesasuper-

expensivecar.”

IfinallyrealizedwhatAudreywasdoingwhenInoticedthesmirkonherface.

“ThatLukeWilderisnogood,Itellyou.”Sheshookherfisttowardtheceiling

tolayeronthesarcasm.

“Shit,”Isaid,realizingthatImighthaveoverreactedabit.“MaybeIwasa

littleharshonhimtoday.”

“Maybe.”

“ButhedidrefertomeasaNewYorkerwithastickupmyass,sohe’snot

completelyoffthehook.”

“Well,he’snotperfect.”Shelaughed.

“Enoughaboutthat,”Isaid,needingtochangethesubject.IfIthoughtabout

Lukeanylonger,Imightactuallygettheurgetogoandapologizetohissexyass.

Inmydefense,I’dspentthelasttwenty-eightyearshavingmentellmewhattodo

andhowtodoit.MyreactiontoLukewasmerelyasideeffectofmycurrent

rebellion.“What’sanobviouslytrendy,fashionablechicklikeyoudoinghere?”

“Youknowthehumanintercomoutthere?”sheasked,andInodded.“That’s

mymom.”

“Hmm.Iwouldhaveneverguessed.”

“Yeah,we’renightandday,soIwenttocosmetologyschool.Triedtomakeit

inLAforafewmonths.Ranoutofmoney,andnowI’mback,”shesaid,

apparentlynottoothrilledwithhowthingshadendedup.“Itwasn’texactlywhatI

hadplannedformylife,butitiswhatitis.I’mjustgoingtotryandmakethemost

ofit.”

“Forwhatit’sworth,”Isaid,watchingasshefinishedtrimmingbackmy

cuticles.“Yougiveakick-assmanicure.”

“Girl,Iknow.”Shegrinned.“Whenwe’refinishedhere,I’mgoingtogiveyou

ablowoutthatwillrockyourworld.”

“Ican’twait.”

ChapterFive

Luke

Mondaycouldkissmyass.EspeciallythisMonday.

StartingandfinishingthedayatWayne’swasn’twhatI’dplanned.Firstthe

hoseonthetruckwascrap,andthenIhadtogobackandgetanewsparkplugfor

thetractorweusedtomowwith.Ontopofthat,I’dtriedalldaynottothinkabout

Charlotte.Whichwasimpossible.Sexylittleminxkeptleapingtotheforefrontof

mymind,givingmethesamekindofhellshehadthatmorning.Itwasn’tmyday,

thatwasfordamnsure.

WhenDukesuggestedwegrababucketofbeersattheDrunkSkunk—Shady

Grove’slocalwateringhole—I’djumpedatthechancetodrownmyfrustrations.

NowIwasthreebeersin,andthingswerestartingtolookup.

“Here’stogivingWaynewaymoremoneythanhedeserves,”Dukesaid,

holdinguphisbeer.

“Seriously.”Iclinkedmybottleagainsthis.“Canwepleasejusthaveamonth

wherenothingmechanicalbreaksdown?”

“Amen,”Dukeagreed.

Thefactwas,weweresodamnclosetoturningaprofitatthedistillery,we

couldtasteit.Withournextbatchnearingage,we’dhaveanewlottosendoutto

distributorsattheendofnextmonth.Hopefully,fromtherewecouldfinallymake

WilderWhiskeyahouseholdname.

MybrotherandIdrankourbeers,butitdidn’ttakelongforhimtobe

distractedbywhathecalled“thelocaltalent.”

“You’reseriouslygoingtoditchmeforthesamegirlsyou’vebeenrunning

gameonsincehighschool?”Iaskedwhenhetoldmehewasgoingtotheback

roomtoplaypoolwithLacyDanvers.

“Firstofall,Idon’tneedgame,”hesaid.“Lookatme.”

Ishookmyhead.Hisarroganceneverceasedtoamazeme.

“Second,thelasttimeLacyDanverswasontherosterwasjunioryear.Not

sureifyouremember,butshegotknockedupafterhighschoolandmarriedthat

prickfromHillCrest.”

HillCrestwasarivalschoolacountyover.Thesameschoolthatbeatusin

theplayoffsoursenioryear.Wewerestilllickingourwoundsfromthatlossover

adecadelater.

“Ohyeah.”

“She’sdivorcednowandbackwithherparents,”heexplained.“Shecouldbe

theonethatgotaway,brother.”

“Idoubtthat,”Isaid.Dukehadn’tsomuchasmentionedthegirlintenyears.

TherewasnopointinarguingthefactthatassoonasDukesealedthedealwith

Lacy,he’dbeontothenext.

ThatwaswhereheandIdiffered.Hehadtheattentionspanofagnatwhenit

cametowomen.I,ontheotherhand,wasmonogamoustoafault.SometimesI

wishedIcouldbemorelikeDukewithhisone-nightstandsandnotgivingashit.I

guessedhewasmorelikeMominthatway,abletojustshutitoff.Hell,hecould

probablyleaveShadyGrovejustlikeMomdidandneverevenglanceoverhis

shoulder.Luckyforme,he’dstuckaround.Afteradayliketoday,Iwasn’tsureI

couldhandleallthisonmyown.

“Shecouldbeyoursister-in-law,”Dukesaidasheslappedahandonmy

back.

Ilaughed.“I’llgettheinvitationsmadeup.”

“Beforeyoudothat,whydon’tyouheadonoverthereandtakecareofthat

problemwetalkedaboutearlier.”Henoddedinthedirectionofoneverysexy

brunettesaddleduptotheoakbar.“MightturnyourMondayaround.”

Irolledmyeyesandshookmyheadashewalkedaway.Assoonashewasout

ofsight,IglancedovermyshoulderandcaughtCharlotte’sreflectioninthemirror

thathungbehindthebar.Eveninthemutedlighting,Icouldseetheblueofher

eyes.Iwatchedasshetookadrinkoftheclearliquorshehadpouredoverice,her

fingerskillfullykeepingthelimewedgethatfloatedontopfromslippingagainst

herlips.

Manup.You’vegotnothingtolose.

Shealreadyhatedme.ThewayIsawit,thenightwouldeitherendwithher

stillhatingme—ormaybe,justmaybe,we’dmakepeace.Mydickperkedupin

interest.Ontopofthat,I’dcomeupwithaveryinterestingpropositionforher,

andIwashopinglikehellthatIcouldmakeheranoffershecouldn’trefuse.

Istoodupfrommyseatinthebackcornerandwalkedovertoher.“Figured

youforafruitydrinkkindofgirl.”

“Doyouknowhowmanycaloriesareinthosefruitydrinks?”shereplied,not

lookingover.Inmyperipheralvision,Icouldseeherreflectionlookingatme.

“Yousurprisedmewiththestraightvodka.”

“Howdoyouknowthisisn’tjustwater?”

“Bythewayyoupursedyourlipswhenyouswallowed,likeitburnedgoing

down.Therearemuchbetterthingsyoucanputinyourmouth.”

Thatgotherattention.ThoseblueeyessnappedtomineandwidenedasI

leanedinalittlecloser.

“Icouldhelpifyou’relookingforsomethingalittle...sweeter.”

Charlottedidn’tnod,butshedidn’tshakeherheadeither.Itookherlackof

responseasayes,andwonderedforasecondexactlywhatIcouldgetawaywith.

WhatifIjustwentforitandclosedthegapbetweenus?WhatifIpressed

mylipsagainsthersandslippedmytongueintothatsmartlittlemouth?

Astemptingasthenotionwas,Iraisedahandtothebartenderinstead.“Two

glassesofWilder,”Itoldhim.“Neat.”

Iplacedahandonthebackoftheemptybarstoolnexttoherandwaitedfor

hertonodherokaybeforeIsatdown.

“Whiskey?”sheaskedwhentheglasseswereplacedinfrontofus.

“Bestwhiskeyintown.”

“You’retellingmethatthisisn’tgoingtoburnlikethevodka?”

“I’llguaranteeit.”

“Andwhatmakesyousosure?”shesaid,leaningovertowardme.Hereyes

werealittleglassy,makingmewonderexactlyhowmuchofthatvodkashe’dhad

todrink.

“BecauseImadeit.”

“Sure,youdid.”Shescoffed,clearlynotbelievingme.WhenIraisedmy

browstochallengeherskepticism,shesaid,“You’reserious?”

“Notafanofliars.Definitelynotonemyself.”

“Okaythen.”Shepickedupherglassandsniffedattherichamber-colored

liquid.“Let’sjustsee.”Sheliftedtheglasstoherlipsandtookasmallsip.

Ididthesame,knowingwhattoexpect—thesmoothoakfinish,therichvanilla

undertones,thesweetaftertastethatmadeyouwanttogobackformore.AsI

swallowedmine,Iwaitedanxiouslyforherreaction.

“Well?”

“Nottoobad.”

Shewascagey,carefulnottoletmeknowexactlyhowmuchshelikedit.But

whenshetookanothersip,Iknewwehadanewfan.

“Can’tbelieveyoueverdoubtedme.”

Wesatthereforamoment,justlookingateachother.Whileshewasstill

wearingthesameclothesfromthismorning,somethingwasdifferent.Herhair

wassmoother,hermakeupalittledarker.ThepinkpolishthatI’dnoticedonher

nailshadbeenreplacedwithanalmostblackcolor.

“Howwasyourday?”Iasked.

“Great.AfterdealingwithWayne,Ispentthedayatthesalon.”

“YoumetAudrey?”

“Idid.”Charlottegavemeaslightlycrookedsmile.“Don’tIlookfantastic?”

WhileIdidn’tmisshernormallybitingtones,Icouldtellshewasalittle

drunk.Especiallywhensheattemptedtobathernowfullerlashesatme.

Damn,she’sacutedrunk.

“Fantastic.Youwannasplitapizza?”Iasked,determinedtogetsomefoodin

herbeforetheliquortookovercompletely.

“Pizza?”

“Yeah,asinpepperoni,cheese,sauce...You’vehaditbefore,right?”When

sheansweredmewithaneyeroll,Isaid,“Anddon’tgivemethattoomany

caloriesbullshit.”

“Well,itis.”

Isilencedherwithafingeragainstherpoutylips.“Webothneeddinner.

Humorme.Oneslice.”

Iletmyfingerlingerinplaceforamoment.Whenherlipspuckeredslightly

againstmyskin,Ihadtowillmycockintosubmission.Notyet,pal.Idroppedmy

handfromhermouth.

Iwasn’tthekindofguywhotookadvantageofagirlwho’dhadtoomuchto

drink.BeforeImadeamove,I’dgetsomefoodandwaterinher.ThelastthingI

wantedwasherdoinganythingshe’dregret.

“Fine,”shesaid.“Pizzadoessoundprettygood.”

“Thatagirl.”

•••

Onepizzalater,thetwoofusweresittingatasmalltableatthefrontofthebar.

Whilewe’dkeptourconversationlightsofar,Icouldn’thelpbutthinkofallthe

questionsIhadforCharlotte.Myinterestinherwentfarbeyondlooks.

“Ilearnedalittlebitaboutyoutoday,”shesaid.

“Don’tbelieveeverythingyouhear.”Iwasprettysuremyreputationinthis

townwasgolden,butyouneverknowwhat’ssaidbehindcloseddoors.

“Allgood,Ipromise.”

“Whatdidyouhear?”

“You’vegotalotoffans,”shesaidwithasmile.“Ofthefemalevariety.”

“Idon’tknowaboutthat.”

Itriedtokeeptomyselfandignorealotoftheattentionyoungerwomenthrow

myway.ButIcouldhavegoneonfordaysabouthowdoingtherightthinghadn’t

alwayspannedoutthewayI’dhoped.Didn’tkeepmymomaround.OrSarah.

Idecidedagainstopeningup,though.Ibarelyknewthisgirl,andthelastthing

Iwantedwastobaremysoultoasexystrangerpassingthrough.Asubjectchange

wasneeded.

“So...howexactlydidyouenduphere?”

“Longstory,”shesaidwithasigh.

“I’vegotnoplacetobe.”

“Well...”

Icouldseeherhesitationinrevealingherreasons,whichonlymademewant

toknowmore.

“I’monmywaytoLA,”shefinallysaid.“I’mmovinginwithafriend.”

“Boyfriend?Girlfriend?”

“Agirlthat’safriend.Valentina.”

“Okay.”Icouldhearthereliefinmyownvoice.“NewYorkgirlmovestoLA.

That’sabigmove.Yourunningfromsomething?”

“Thelaw,”shesaidplainly,causingmetonearlychokeonthewaterI’djust

drank.

“Seriously?”

Herlipstwitched.“IshotamaninReno.”

WhenIrealizedshewasyankingmychain,Iwasrelievedandmorethana

littleturnedonbythegirl’swit.NewYorkerswerepeggedasbeingstreetsmart,

butthisonedidn’tmissabeat,soIplayedalong.

“Justtowatchhimdie?”

“Youknowmystory?”Shechuckled,andIlaughedalongwithher.

“I’mfamiliar.JohnnyCashisafavoritearoundhere.I’msurprisedyouknow

whoheis.”

Shegrinned.“EvenNewYorkisn’timmunetoalittlecountrycharm.”

That’swhatIwashoping.Shewantedcountrycharm,andIhaditinspades.

Hell,truckloads.I’dturnitupandgetexactlywhatIwantedfromher.

“Ijustneedafreshstart,”shesaid,confessingasmuchasIthoughtIwasgoing

togetoutofherthatnight.

WhatevershewasleavingbehindinNewYorkwasn’tsomethingshewas

readytotalkabout,whichwasfinebyme.WhenI’dwalkedoverhere,Iwas

aimingforsimpleandeasy.ToomuchtalkofthepastmightleadsomeplaceI

didn’tthinkeitherofuswerelookingtoendup.

“Freshstartsaregood.I’veneededacoupleinmylife.”Theurgetoclearup

thebadbloodbetweenuswasweighingonme.Seemedlikeasgoodatimeas

any.“Maybewegetone?Imightnothavemadethebestfirstimpression.”

“Meeither,”sheadmitted.“Iwasajerktoo.IpromiseI’mnotacomplete

asshole.”

“Samehere.Allisforgiven.”

Thetruthwas,seeinghersittingtherewithherkissablelipsandalookof

vulnerabilitythatIhadn’tseenfromheryet,Iwouldhavepardonedherfor

actuallyshootingamaninReno.

“Tofreshstarts,”shesaid,raisingherglassofwater.

“Tofreshstarts.”Inoddedandclinkedmyglassagainsthers,grinningbackat

her.“So,aboutwhatyoumentionedyesterday,amarketingdegreefromYale.”

“Whataboutit?”

“AnychanceIcouldconvinceyoutouseittohelpmeout?”

ThecutestlittlelineformedbetweenherbrowsassheprocessedwhatIwas

saying.

“See,I’vegotthisfantasticwhiskeythatneedsselling,andI’maboutas

uselessastitsonanunwhenitcomestosocialmediaandallthatshit.”

Shegiggled.“Areyouaskingmetohelpyoumarketyourwhiskey,Luke?”

“Yes.”

“What’sinitforme?”

“Whatdoyouwant?”Iteased,lettingourstarelingerforafewseconds.I

wouldhavegivenmyleftarmforhertosaysomethingalongthelinesofIwant

youtofuckmybrainsout.Especiallywhensheranthetipofhertongueoverher

lipsasshethought.

“Whatdoyouhavetooffer?”shesaid,shiftingalittleinherseat.

Asmuchasshewasgettingtome,Icouldseethatshewasfeelingittoo.The

sexualtension.Theheat.Thechemistry.Itwasundeniable.

“Icanthinkofafewthings.”Irestedmyforearmsonthetableandleaned

closer.Thesweetsmellofherexpensiveperfumewasintoxicating.

“Well...”Sheleanedforward,mirroringmyposition,andittookalotof

willpowernottotossthetablebetweenusacrosstheroom.“Icanthinkofone

thing,”shesaidsoftly,drawingmeinevenmore.“I’dreallylikethatcarpartyou

saidyourbuddycouldshipfromAustin.”

“Yougotit,”Imusteredup,drowningoutthelustthatwasabouttoripmein

two.Neverinmylifehadawomanriledmeupthewaythisonedid.Mydickwas

sohard,Icouldhaveusedittopoundnails,andallwe’ddonewassithereand

talktonight.

“Good,”shesaidwithahugegrin.“You’vegotadeal.”

ChapterSix

Charlotte

Twohourslater,LukeandIstoodintheparkinglotofthebar.Ileanedagainstthe

sideofhisbigblacktruckasIwatchedhim,mylipsturnedupinasmile.

“Turnsoutyou’renotsobad,”hesaid,hismouthtwitchingashewatchedme.

“Thatso?”Iplacedahandonmyhip.

Leaningcloser,hetuckedastraylockofhairbehindmyearandshrugged.

“Whenyou’renotrunningyourmouth,youcanbedownrighttolerable.”

Whenhisfulllipsblossomedintoawidesmile,somethinginsidemezinged.

Laughing,Ishookmyhead.

We’dspenttheeveningtalking,eatingpizza,andsippingonwhiskey.Ifelt

relaxedandloose.Allmyworrieshadtakenabackseattothisgorgeousmanwith

hiscockypersonalityandmega-whitesmile.

Lukecouldn’tseemtostoptouchingme—hishandatmylowerbackasheled

mefromthebar,thewayherosetohisfeetandhelpedmefrommybarstoolwhen

Ineededtousetherestroom,andnow,hisfingertipsgrazingmybarearmsand

thentouchingmyhair.Hisattentionwasdizzying,becauseIwasn’tusedto

forwardmen.

Well,thatwasn’ttrue.Iwasusedtomenwhowereforwardwiththeirself-

accolades.Braggingabouthowmuchmoneythey’dmadeinthestockmarket,

abouttheirFifthAvenueaddressortheirjobtitle.ThosewerethingsIwasused

to.

Lukewasthecompleteopposite.Iwasn’tusedtoamanwhohadnothingto

offerbuthimselfandyetgaveitsofreely—lettinghisinterestbeknown,tohell

withtheconsequences.Becausethetwoofus?Wemadeabsolutelynosense.I

wouldbeleavingsoon,andIhadafeelinghewouldliveouthislifehereanddie

inthesameplacehe’dbeenborn.

Wecouldn’tbemoredifferent,butourbodiesdidn’tcare.Thechemistry

zippingbetweenusfueledanattractionthatgrewwitheverybarbwelobbedat

eachother.Hewasfunandchallenginginawaythatwasentirelynew.

“Whenyoufeedmewhiskeyallnight,whatdidyouexpect?Itendtolosemy

filter,”Isaid,liftingmychin.

“Ididfeedyoumorethanwhiskey.Iwasn’tacompleteassholetonight.”

Inodded,rememberingthepizzawe’dshared.“Foronce.”

Hismouthtwitchedagain.“Ikindalikeyouwhenyou’refullofwhiskey,

duchess.”

Thatdamnnicknameagain.

Hewinkedatme,andIalmostmeltedintoapuddlerightthereinthedusty

gravelparkinglot.Forthelongesttime,westayedlikethat—oureyeslocked

together,ourhipslinedup,hishandatmywaist...

Areyougonnakissme,orwhat?

Ididn’thavetowonderanylonger.Luke’sgazedarkenedandheloweredhis

headtowardmine.Iliftedontomytoes,needingtoclosethedistancebetweenus

fast.HetookmymouthwithasoftkissandIimmediatelyresponded,partingmy

lips.Histonguemovedagainstmineindeep,druggingkissesthatmademytoes

curlinmysneakers.

Damn,themancouldkiss.

Turnedouthistruckwasn’thisonlybigpossession.Tomywhiskey-soaked

brain,itfeltlikeamassivesteelrodwastuckedinsidehisjeans.Jesus,hewas

hung.

CometoMama.

Anoldermanheadedtohiscarwhistledatus.“Lookslikesomebody’sgettin’

luckytonight.”

Lukecursedunderhisbreathandgrabbedmyhand.“Peopleinthistownare

fuckin’nosy.Comeon.”

Insidethecabofhistruck,thescentofoil,leather,andwhiskeycreateda

warm,cozyatmosphere.

“Wherearewegoing?”Iasked.

“I’mdrivingyoubacktotheinn.”

Disappointmentflashedthroughme.Damn.So,weweren’tgoingbacktohis

placeforwildsex.

“Howdoyouknowthat’swhereI’mstaying?”

Hisanswerwasasmirkonthosegorgeousfulllips.“God,you’recutewhen

you’resassy.It’stheonlyhotelintown.”

WhenwepulledtoastopintheparkinglotofthelittleVictorianhousethat

hadbeenconvertedtoabedandbreakfast,Lukeshiftedthetruckintoparkandcut

theengine.

“Youwanttocomeinside?”Myvoicetrembledonlyslightly,butmyheartwas

jack-hammeringagainstmyribs.

“Betternot.”Hisvoicewasrough,andIsensedhisrestraintwashangingbya

thread,justlikemine.“Peopleinthistowntalk.”Hereachedoverandplacedhis

handonmyknee,givingitasqueeze.“Plus,I’mnotgonnalie.I’mattractedtoyou,

duchess,andImightnotbehavelikeagentlemanifIcomeinside.”

“MaybeI’mdonewithguyswhopretendtobeperfectgentlemen.”

Hereleasedagrowloffrustrationandleanedincloser,placingasoftkisson

myjaw.Hecouldbesuchastubborn,rough-around-theedgesprick,andthen

othertimes,hecouldbesosweetandtender.

“Ialmosthatetoadmitthis,”Isaid,“butIhadfunwithyoutonight.”

“Metoo,”hemurmuredwithhislipsinchesfrommine.

Wettingmylipswithmytongue,Ifoughtoffasmileatthewayhishungrygaze

trackedthemovement.Hestartedslow,hislipshoveringatmyjawbeforehe

pepperedsoftkissesagainstmyneck.

“Luke,”Igroaned.Iwantedthis,andIhadnoideawhathadcomeoverme.

Maybeitwaspartofbeingontherun,butIwantedtosin.Wantedhimtomakeme

forgeteverything—mypast,mymistakes...hell,evenmyowndamnname.

Capturingmymouthinahungrykiss,helashedhistongueatmineandItook

everythingheoffered.Thefeelofhisrough,callousedfingertipsgrazingmyskin,

thetasteofwhiskeyonhisbreath,hismasculinescent—itwasintoxicating.

Climbingoverthecenterconsole,Iplantedmyselfinhislapandpushedmy

handsintohishairasIkissedhimback.Hiskisseswereroughandintense,andI

couldn’thelpbutwonderaboutthewaythismanfucked.Wouldhetakemehard

andfast,ordrawthingsoutuntilIwasawhimperingmess?

MovinginhislapuntilIfoundtherightangle,Ipushedmyhipscloser,

grindingagainstthesteelyerectionbehindhiszipperthatpressedatmycore.

Hisdeepgroanoffrustratedneedmademyinnermusclesclench.

AsIworkedmyselfagainsthim,wecontinuedkissing,hishandslockedonmy

hipsasIrolledthemagainsthis.Allmycardswereonthetable.Iwantedhimand

heknewit.Andluckyforme,itseemedhewantedmejustasbadly.

Lukegrippedmyass,workingmeagainsthiscock.Iwasclose,soclose.Just

alittlemorepressure...

“Timeout.”Hegroaned.

Timeout?Didhejustcallatimeout?Puttingafewinchesofspacebetween

us,Iblinkedtoclearmyhazyvisionandgazedupathim.

“I’mnotfuckingyouinmytruck.Andifwegoanyfurther,that’swhat’sgoing

tohappen.”

Myheartpounding,mypantiessoaked,Icrawledfromhislap.Partlyannoyed

athimandpartlyannoyedatmyselfforgettingcarriedaway,Igrabbedmypurse

andopenedthedoor.

Outsidethetruck,thefreshairdidwonderstoclearmyhead.Iwasneverlike

this.

Luke’sslysmilewasbackashehoppedoutofthetruck,andhewasbackto

rubbingmyarms.“Whatareyoudoingtomorrow?”

Wasn’tthatagoodquestion?“Idon’tknow.I’llhavetocheckmyschedule,”I

snapped,stillmadathimforcallingadamntimeout.

Hechuckledagain,lowunderhisbreath,andthesoundvibratedagainstmy

skin.Ihadnoideahowitwaspossibleforthismantogetundermyskinso

deeply,soquickly,buthehad.

“Iwasthinkingifyou’refree,I’dshowyouaroundthedistillery.Butyou

know,onlyifyou’refree.”

Thewiseass.HeknewIhadnothingtodobutsitaroundandwaitformycarto

getfixed.

“I’mfree,”Ihuffed.

“I’llpickyouupateight.”

Myeyebrowsshotup.“Inthemorning?”

“Okay,makeitten,”hesaidwithachuckle.“Andbereadytoputthat

marketinggeniustowork.”

“Yougotit.”

•••

AtfivetotenwhenLukeshowedupthenextmorning,Iwasup,showered,and

dressed.Myhairwasstilldamp,butwhenIsawhimstandingthereatthefootof

thestairs,holdingtwopapercupsofhotcoffee,thelastthingIwantedwasto

spendtwentyminutesblow-dryingmyhairandputtingonmakeupwhenLuke

probablydidn’tcareaboutthingslikethatanyway.

Besides,thatwastheoldCharlotte,alwaysputtogetherandpolished.And

lookwhereithadgottenme.Nowhere.

“Ready?”heasked,lookingupatmefromtheparlorwhereOpalhadlefthim.

Iwinked.“Givemethirtyseconds.”

Intheadjoiningbathroom,Ipulledmystill-damphairintoahighmessy

ponytailanddabbedonsomelipbalm.There.Iwasready.

Mycellphonechimed,andIglanceddownatitwithascowl.Myparents.

Again.Hittingabuttontosilenceit,Istuffeditinthebackpocketofmyjeans.I

wasn’treadytofacethemoralltheshitIleftbehindwhenIhightaileditoutof

NewYork.

“Thatwasfast,”Lukesaidashehandedmeacupofcoffee.

Thesurpriseinhistonetoldmethatwasunexpected.IdecidedthatIlikedthis

newCharlotte,likeddoingtheoppositeofwhatpeopleexpected.

“Creamandsugarinyours.Hopethat’sallright.”

“It’sperfect.”Itookasipofthewarmbrew.

“Howareyoufeelingthismorning?”Lukeaskedasweclimbedintohistruck.

Iwasn’tsureifhewasreferringtothewhiskeywe’ddownedlastnight,orthe

wayhe’dleftmeriledupandaroused.

“Isleptlikeababy.”Atleast,thatmuchwastrue.Iwasstillslightlyannoyed

athimforthewayhe’dcalledthingsofflastnight,butI’dneveradmitthattohim.

Afewminuteslater,weturnedoffthemainroadandontohisproperty,rolling

hillsandgrassypasturesdottedwithmassivepecantrees.

“Thisisme.”Hepointedtoapalebricktwo-storyhouseatthetopofthehill.

Aformerfarmhouse,ithadawidefrontporchandplantation-styleshutterspainted

aglossyblackframingthewindows.

“Allofthatjustforyou?”

Heshookhishead.“DukeandMollyandIalllivethere.Dadleftittous.”

Mythroatsuddenlyfeltdry,andItookanothersipofcoffee.Irecalledwhat

OpalhadsaidaboutLuke’spast.

Afterparkinghistruckbesidethequintessentialredbarnatthefarendofhis

property,weclimbedintosomethingLukecalledaside-by-side,whichtome

lookedlikearevved-upgolfcart.

WecruisedaroundtheacreagewhileLukepointedthingsouttome—thetree

househeandhisbrotherbuiltwhentheyweretwelve,thepondwherehegot

caughtskinny-dippingwiththepastor’sdaughter.Itwascrazyhowcomfortable

LukeandIweretogether.I’dknownhimamereforty-eighthours,andyetwefelt

likeoldfriends.

Thefreshcountryairandsunshinedidwondersformymood.Iwashappythat

I’doptednottostylemyhair.Hell,Iwasjustplainhappy.

“Carefulnow,duchess.Ifyousmileanyharder,Imightgoandthinkyou’re

actuallyenjoyingyourself.”

Theplayfuledgetohisvoicewasaddictive.Afteronlyashortcoupleofdays,

Icouldalreadyfeelmyselffallingforhischarms.

Alittlewhilelater,wefinallystoppedinfrontofthedistilleryandclimbed

out,stretchingourlegs.

“Youwannaseewherethemagichappens?”Lukeasked.

Irolledmyeyes,followinghimtowardthebuildingthatwasrustic,butcute.

“WhydoIfeellikethat’sacheesypickuplineyou’veusedathousandtimesto

seduceathousandgirls?”

Hehaltedinhistracksandturnedtofaceme.“Therearetwothingsyouneed

toknow.First,thisisn’tsomeploytogetyouintobed.Iwasseriousabout

wantingyourhelp.”

Inodded.“Andthesecond?”

“Therehaven’tbeenathousandwomen.”Andthenhesmiled.“Maybeonly

ninehundredorso.”

Thetingeofsomethingdarkerinhisgazetoldmehehadastoryinhispastthat

heusedhumortohide,maybesomethingjustasdeepandpainfulasmyown.ButI

didn’twanttothinkaboutallthatjustnow,soIgrinnedbackathimandfollowed

himinside.

Ittookamomentformyeyestoadjusttothedimlighting.Itwaswarmand

remindedmeofabreadfactory—humidandwithayeastysmellhangingintheair.

Bigwoodenvatsandhugecoppercanistersbubbledwiththefermentedsugars

fromryeandcorn.

Lukepointedthingsouttomeaswemadeourwaythrough.Ididn’tknow

anythingaboutwhiskeyorbourbon,butitwascooltohearhimtalkabout

somethinghewaspassionateabout.Andhewasclearlypassionateaboutwhiskey,

ormaybehewasjustemotionalabouthisfamilybusiness.Whenhespokeabout

theagingandbottlingprocess,hebecameanimated,usinghishandstotalk,and

watchedmewithasmiletomakesureIwaskeepingup.

“Thisplaceisgreat,Luke.Icanseewhyyou’resoproudofit.”

“Gladyouapprove,duchess.”

Afterpassingthroughanagingroomfilledwithoakbarrels,Lukeledmeto

whathecalledhistastingroom.Chocolate-brownvelvetarmchairsandarustic

woodentablesatinthecenteroftheroom.Abottleofwhiskeywithatrayof

rocksglasseswaswaitingforus.Theroomwastastefullydecoratedinrich,

masculinecolors.Ablack-and-whitephotographofaTexaslonghornhungonone

wall,andtheotherwallwasfilledwithwindowsoverlookingthepastures.

“Careforataste?”Lukemotionedformetositashepickedupthebottle.

I’donlyjustfinishedmycoffee,andnowweweregoingtodrinkwhiskey?

“Maybejustasip.It’searly.”

Henoddedandpouredasplashintoeachofourglasses.

Isniffedattheliquor,watchinghimovertherimofmyglass.I’dhadWilder

whiskeylastnight,butthatwasafterseveralcocktails.“WhatshouldIbelooking

for?Anytips?”

Heliftedhisglass,inspectingit.“Deepgoldencolor.Intensearoma.Hintsof

smokycaramelwithasweetmaplefinish.”Hedownedthecontentsinone

swallow,hisfulllipshoveringseductivelyontherimoftheglass.“Thecharred

oakbarrelsareusedonlyonce.Eachoneisatinybitunique,andtheyflavorthe

finalproduct.”

Itookaswallow,thenlickedmylips.“Smooth.”

Henodded.“It’sgoodforsipping.”

Settingmyglassdown,IturnedtofaceLuke,myinterestinthisplacepiqued.

“Doyouoffertastingshere?”

Heshookhishead.“We’renotopentothepublic.”

“Youshouldreallyconsiderit,playupthelocalangle.Youneedtoadvertise

thateachbottlewashandmaderighthere.Peopleeatthatstuffup.”

Heopenedhismouthlikehewantedtoarguesomepointwithme,thenthought

betterofit.

“ThoughtIheardvoices.”Dukestrolledintothetastingroomandjoinedus.

“Breakingyourownrules,Isee,”hesaidtoLuke.

“Littlebrother.”LuketippedhisheadtowardDuke.“Youneedsomething?”

Dukeshookhisheadandthenreachedformyhand,liftingittohismouthfora

quickkiss.“Shametoseeyougetmixedupwiththeriffraff.”

“I’llbecareful.Ipromise.”

Duketuggedhisballcaploweroverhiseyesandshotmeasoul-filledlookas

heturnedaway.“I’vegotworktodo.Youtwobegood,”hecalledoverhis

shoulder.

Oncehewasgone,Itookanothersipofmywhiskey,watchingLukeoverthe

rimofmyglass.“Whatdidhemeanaboutbreakingyourrules?”

Hewasquietforamoment,andIthoughthewasn’tgoingtotellme.Itwould

haveservedmerightbecauseofthemonumentalsecretIwaskeepingfromhim.A

secretthatwasstartingtoknawatme.

“Wemadeapactalongtimeago.Thetastingroomis‘nogirlsallowed.’”

“Oh.”Ishiftedinmyseat,wonderingwhythatrulewasinstitutedandwhatit

meantthatIwassittinghere.

“ItwasstartedtokeepMollyout,butthenitjustbecamemore.Likethiswas

ourplace—aspotforDukeandmetotalkbusiness,andtogetawayfrom

everythingelse.”

Inodded.Iunderstoodthat.GrowingupthewayIdid,Icherishedmydown

time.Itwasn’tuncommonformetosneakoutofanimportantfamilyfunctionatmy

father’scountryclubtogohangoutinthekitchenorthecoatroomwiththestaff.

Theywerealwayswaymorefun.ItwasoftentheonlychanceIgottoletmyhair

downandrelax.

“Idon’tmeantopry,butyousaidsomethingearlieraboutyourdadleaving

youthisplace.”Readingbetweenthelines,Iwasassuminghemeanthisdadhad

passed.

“There’snotmuchtotell.Aftermymomtookoff,hehadnothinglefttolivefor

anddrankhimselftoanearlydeath.”

Iblinked,surprisedbyLuke’sbrutalhonesty.“I’msorry.”

“Don’tbe.”Heshrugged.“Itwasalongtimeago.”

“So,yourmomis...”

“SheleftwhenIwasseven,buttobehonest,shewasgonealongtimebefore

that,emotionally.Itwasnosecretthatshehatedithere.Whenshecouldn’ttakeit

anymore,shetookoffforcitylife.Gotremarriedandhadawholeotherfamily,

lastIheard.”

Iswallowed.Thatwouldhavebeentoughforalittlekidtohandle.Nowonder

Lukewassohardened.Hissteelyexteriorwasinplaceforareason—mostlikely

adefensemechanismsohecouldn’tgettooclosetosomeonewhomightabandon

himeveragain.

“Well,forwhatit’sworth,thanksforbringingmeheretoday.”

“I’mgladyougottoseeit.Doyouthinkyoucanhelp?”

“IknowIcan.”

Mymindwasalreadybuzzingwithideas.Openingtothepublictooffer

tastingsandfoodpairingsandseasonalgiftswasonlythebeginning.Icould

envisioneventslikeweddingsandbanquetsunderthegazebobythepond.The

excitementofbuildingabrandlikethisfromscratchwasintoxicating.

Lukerosetohisfeet.“I’vegotsomee-mailstocatchuponandaconference

callwithadistributor,butmaybewecantalkaboutyourideaslater?”

“Absolutely.Ijustneedaquietplacetowork,andapenandapad.I’mgoing

todraftupanentiremarketingstrategyforyou.”

Luke’seyeswidenedslightly.“Ifit’stoomuchtroubleortoomuchtoask,I

understand—”

Iraisedahand,cuttinghimoff.“Honestly,whatelseamIgoingtodo?Sit

aroundandstareatthephone,waitingforWaynetocall?”

“Fairenough.Comeon.I’llsetyouupatmyfavoritespottobrainstorm.”

Ifollowedhimbacktotheside-by-side.Whenwereachedhishouse,Lukeled

meupthefrontstepsofhiswidefrontporchandstretchedouthisarms.

“Thissuityouokay?”

Therewerewoodenarmchairswithfluffycream-coloredcushions,anda

pottedfernontheoutdoorcoffeetable.

“Thisisperfect.”

“Letmegetyouthatpenandpaper.”

LukeheadedinsidewhileIloweredmyselfintoachairtowaitforhim.When

hereturned,hehandedmeapadofpaper,acoupleofpens,aglassoficedtea,

andablueberrymuffin.

“Mollymadethosethismorning.”

“Thanks.Ishouldbeallset.”

“I’llcheckonyouinacoupleofhours.Ifyouneedsomethingorwantmeto

takeyoubacktotheinn,justtextme.”

“I’llbefine.”

Sittinginsidethelittlehotelroomattheinnheldnoappeal.Ididn’twantto

admitittoLuke,butIlovedthethoughtofworkinghereinsteadofastuffyoffice.I

couldseemyselfdoingsomegoodworkhere.Makingarealdifferenceintheir

business.

Thesweet,freshairfragrancedwithlilacsandthewarmbreezeonmyskin

wereawelcometreat.Wedidn’thavequiet,relaxingplaceslikethisbackhome.

AlthoughI’dmissedalltheconveniencesofthecityoverthepastfewdays,inthis

moment,therewasnoplaceI’dratherbe.

Therealizationwaslikeafreighttrainroaringthroughmychest.Atfirst,all

I’dwantedwastofleethissmalltown,andnowIsuddenlyfoundmyselfhoping

forafewmoredayshere.

•••

Afewhourslater,Ishiftedinmyseat.MystomachremindedmethatI’dworked

throughlunch,andmybladderpipeduptoremindmeoftheicedteaI’ddowned

hoursago.

Risingtomyfeet,Istretchedandcontemplatedwhattodo.TextLuke?Ask

himtotakemehome?Sneakinginsidetofindabathroomwonout.

“Luke?”Iopenedthefrontdoorandletmyselfinside.

AnoakstaircaseoffthefoyerwasaboutallIcouldsee.Icontinuedpastit

towardwhatIassumedwasthekitchenandcalledhisnameagain.

“Hey.Inhere.”

IturnedandsawLukestandinginthedoorwayofhisoffice,aroomoffthe

diningroomthatheldalargeoakdeskandseveraltallbookcases.

“I’msorrytobargein,butcanIuseyourbathroom?”

“Ofcourse.Downthehallontheright.”

Ihurriedpasthim,andonceI’ddonemybusiness,Ifoundhimontheporch,

flippingthroughthenotebookI’dleftonthecoffeetable.

“Hey,givemethat.Nopeeking.”

Igrabbeditfromhim,alittleself-consciousaboutmymessychickenscratch

andrandomnotes.Hehandedoverthenotepadwithoutafight,butsteppedcloser

untilwewerestandingjustinchesapart.

Lukehadbeensoopentoday,sharingapieceofhispastwithmeandletting

meintohislife.Itwasunexpected.Andworkingupamarketingplanallday

meantIdidn’thavetimetodwellonmyownissues—forwhichIwasincredibly

grateful.

Ashegazeddownatme,hiseyeswentsoft.Iwetmylowerlip,surehewas

abouttokissme,butthesoundofacardrivingupmademestepback.

“Hey!”Mollyclimbedoutofhercarandreachedforagrocerybag.“Fancy

seeingyouhere!”

ChapterSeven

Luke

Mysister’stimingsucked.Hadforyears.Thebrathadtheaudacitytobeborn

duringourLittleLeaguechampionshipgame,abruptlystealingmythunderwhenI

hitmyfirsthomerun.

Keepingupherperfectrecord,MollyhadjustinterruptedakissthatI’dbeen

workingfor—andthinkingabout—allafternoon.Andnowshehadthenerveto

beamatusasshejoinedusontheporch.

“Stayfordinner,”MollyinsistedwhenCharlottesaidshe’dbettergetgoing.

InoddedwhenCharlottelookedinmydirection,gaugingmyreaction.Ifshe

stayed,Imightgetanotherchanceatthatkiss.

“I’mgrillingfish,”Mollytoldher,andaddedwithawink,“Healthy.”

Charlottesmiled.“Ireallyhavenochoicethen,doI.”

“No,ma’am.”Mollypulledopenthescreendoor,glowinginhertriumph.“It

willbereadyinfifteen.”

“Shemusthavebeenplanningthis,”ItoldCharlotteinalowvoiceoncewe

werealoneagain.“Shesaidearlierwewereeatingspaghettitonight.”

“It’ssweet.”

“That’sMolly.Sweet.”Ishookmyhead.“Notatallmanipulative.”

Charlottelaughed.“That’sastrongword.”

Itwasn’tthefirsttimethatdayshe’dletoutthatlaugh,soeasyandnatural.IfI

didn’tknowanybetter,I’dthinksheactuallylikedthisplace,andmyfamily.Me,

even.Afterthewaythingsgotheatedlastnight,Iwasn’tsureifwe’dbeableto

getbacktofriendly,butherewewere.

“She’sjusttryingtobewelcoming,”Charlottesaid.

“Mm-hmm.”

KnowingMolly’sgame,Iwasskeptical.GetCharlottetostay,andmaybeher

brother’smoodwouldimprove.Asmuchasmysister’stricksusuallyannoyed

me,IwashappythatCharlottehadagreedtostay.

Charlotteglancedaway.“Icangoifyoudon’twantmetostay.”

“No,no...it’snotthat.I...”Istammeredthroughmysentencelikeateenage

boybeforeIrememberedthatIwasagrown-assman,amanwhoknewwhathe

wanted.Charlottewaslookingmeintheeye,waitingforsomethingintelligibleto

comeoutofmymouth,andIneededtomanup.“Iwantyoutostay.”

Fordinner.Forthenight.Maybelonger.

ButIwouldn’tsaythat.Notoutloud.Shewasonlyhereforashorttime,andI

hadtogetmyheadwrappedaroundthat.Ihadn’texpectedthewayshe’ddivedin

today,askingquestionsaboutmybusinessandwantingtohelpcraftamarketing

strategy.ItsoundedawfulnowthatIknewCharlotte,butwhenIfirstsawher,I’d

assumedshewasthekindofgirlwhowasallergictohardwork.Shejustkept

surprisingme.

“Yousure?”

“Positive.”

“Good.”

•••

BythetimeCharlotteandIwereseatedatthetableonthepatio,thesunwas

setting.Itwasmyfavoritetimeofday.Seeingthewide-openTexasskypaintedin

orangeandpinkalwayshadacalmingeffectonme.

Dukecameinfromwhateveritwasthathedidallday.I’dlearnedtostop

askingalongtimeago.AslongasheshowedupwhenandwhereIneededhis

help,Icouldn’thavegivenarat’sassaboutwhat—orwho—hewasdoing.

“Charlotte,howniceofyoutograceuswithyourpresence,”heteasedashe

joinedus.“NoteverydaywegettodinewithasophisticatedNewYorker.”

“Iconsideritcharitywork,”shesaidwithasmirkashesatdownacrossfrom

her.“Small-townoutreachprogram,helpingtogetthedelinquentsbackonthe

rightpath.”Shetiltedherheadasshejokedwithhim.Thefewremainingraysof

sunlightcaughtherhairandmadeitglow,givingheranangelicappearance.

“You’rearealballbuster,youknowthat,”Dukesaidwithachuckle.“Ilike

it.”

SodidI.BesidesthefactthatCharlottewasinsanelygorgeous,shewas

incrediblysmartandwitty.I’dnevermetawomanlikeher.ThegirlsI’ddated

beforewerejustthat...girls.Charlottewasawoman.Polished,educated,well

spoken.Sheknewhowtostandherground,whichmightjustbethesexiestthing

abouther.

“So,smarty-pants,”Dukesaidtoher.“Youcomeupwithamarketingplanfor

thedistilleryyet?”

Shenodded.“Workingonit.I’mthinkingwesellthelifestyleasopposedto

justthewhiskey.”

“Andintermsadelinquentlikemecouldunderstand?”Dukeasked.

“Small-town,simple,laidback,”shesaid.“Ithinkpeoplewouldeatitup.

Especiallycitypeople.Youdon’tknowhowmanytimesI’veheardsomeonefrom

NewYorksaytheywishedtheycouldjustleaveitallbehind.”

Itoccurredtometoaskifthat’swhatshewasdoing,butItampeddownthe

notion.Gettinganymoreinvestedinhersituation—herrunningawayfromNew

York—wasthelastthingIneededtodo.Thiswasabusinessarrangement.The

possibilityofgettingalittlemorefromherwasabonus.Anythingthathappened

physicallybetweenusneededtobejustthat.Linesneededtobedrawninthe

sand,bothformysakeandhers.Keepitsimple,stupid.

“Iloveit,”Mollychimedinasshebroughtthefoodtothetable.“Welovethis

place.Everyoneelseshouldtoo.”

“Iagree,”Charlottesaid.

“YouthinkpeoplearereallyinterestedinaplacelikeShadyGrove?”Iasked.

“Imean,Ithinkit’sgreat,butit’snotlikethey’reclamoringtocomevisit.”

“Theywillbe,”Charlottesaidwithconfidence.“Ithinkthefirstthingweneed

todo,besidesgetallofyoursocialmediaaccountsuptopar,issetupanevent.

Sortofanofficiallaunchofthebrand.”

Dukegrinned.“Iloveparties.”

Ikickedhimunderthetable,keepingmyfocusonCharlotte.“Andwhere

exactlywereyouthinking?”

“Here,”shesaidmatter-of-factly.

“Idon’tknowaboutthat—”

“It’sperfect,”shesaid.“Peopleneedtoseethisplace,needtoseethe

distillery.Theyneedtomeetthefamilybehindthewhiskey.”

Themerethoughtofitmademeitch,andIscowledather.“Idon’twanta

bunchofstrangerstraipsingaroundtheproperty.Welivehere,youknow.It’snota

goddamnroadsideattraction.”

“Luke.”Mollyglaredatme.“Youwanttosellallthosebarrels,right?”

“Yeah,man,”Dukesaid,addingtothecurrentpileuponme.“Youwanteda

marketingguru.Nowyouneedtolistentoher.”

“Idon’tknow...”Itdidn’tsitwellwithme,buttheywereright.Ihadasked

Charlottetocomeupwithideastohelpusmakemoney.Ifthiswasherplan,I

neededtohearitout.“Iguesswecouldgiveitatry.”

MybrotherandsistergrinnedateachotherasCharlotteleanedoverand

placedakissonmycheek.Thepleasedlookonherfacewasenoughtoknock

downmyresolvealittle,andtheunexpectedfeelofherlipsonmyskinblasted

therestofthewaythrough.

IwasfuckedwithacapitalF.

ChapterEight

Charlotte

“Mornin’,thisisMaggie.CanIhelpyou?”thevoicedrawledthroughthephone.

“Hi,thisisCharlotteFreemont.I’mcallingabout—”

“TheAudi.Yup.LetmeputWayneon.”

Sittingdownonthebed,Ipluckedapieceoflintoffthefluffydowncomforter

whileIwaited.

“ThisisWayne.”Hisnormallygruffvoicecameoutsoundingapologetic.

“Listen,sweetheart,Ihatetotellyouthis,butIranyourcar’sdiagnosticsthrough

thecomputer,andyou’vegotabiggerproblemthanIfirstthought.”

Ilistenedasheexplainedthatsomeconverterswitchwasmalfunctioning,and

thatitwasgoingtoaddanextradayortwoandsomemoneytotherepairwork.

“Okay,gotit.”

“That’s...that’sit?”heasked.

“Yeah.Justletmeknowwhenyou’rethrough.Iappreciatethis,Wayne.”

“Ofcourse,sweetheart.I’llbeintouch.”

Ishouldhavebeenannoyed,shouldhavefelttrappedandisolated,butIfelt

anythingbut.Itwascrazy,butpartofmewasexcitedattheideaofspendingafew

moredayshere.

IdialedValentinanext,whoansweredwithoutevenahello.

“Charlotte,tellmeyou’reonyourway.I’mfreakingout.”

“Hellotoyoutoo.”Ichuckled.

“Ugh,what’shappening?You’renotstillstranded,areyou?”

“I’mstillhere,yeah.”

“WhoseassdoIneedtokick?I’llcallthemechanicmyself.Justtellmewhere

youare.”

“No,it’sfine,Val.”Itwasweird,butthedesiretokeepthisplaceasecret

flaredinsideme.ItwaslikeifIcouldshielditfromtheoutsideworld,Icould

stayhereinpeaceforafewmoredays.

SheletoutahuffoffrustrationandcursedinSpanish.

Wespentthenextfewminutescatchinguponeverythinggoingonbackhome,

intherealworld,anditwasweird.Normally,I’deatupthiskindofconversation.

GossipingwithValentinawaspracticallyanOlympicsport,oneIexcelledat,but

todayIwasonlyhalflistening.

“Justacouplemoredays.I’llseeyousoon,”Isaid,finallyendingthecall.

Assoonaswehungup,myphonerangagain.ItwasMolly.

“Hi,Charlotte.Iwaswonderingifyou’dwanttohavelunchwithmetoday?”

Mygazedriftedtotheclockbesidemybed.Ihadalldaytokill.“Sure.What

time?”

“I’llmeetyouattheGardenofEatin’inthirtyminutes.”

IpickedupmypurseandslippedintomynudeToriButchflatsbeforeheading

downstairstoaskOpalhowtogettotherestaurant.Itturnedoutitwasonlythree

blocksaway,soI’dgetinalittlemiddaysunshineandabriefwalk.Mytimehere

wasstartingtofeelmorelikeavacationthanadeathsentence.

Thecaféwascozychicwithrusticlittlewhite-paintedtablesandmismatched

chairs.Ithadcharacter,andthemenuwasjustaseclectic.Everythingfrom

chickenandwafflestogrits(whateverthosewere)tospinachsaladwithfresh

goatcheese.MaggieandIweresoonseatedatatableinfrontofthebigfront

windows,eachhavingfoundsomethingonthemenutoourliking.

“Thanksformeetingme.”Mollytastedhericedtea,thentoreopenapacketof

sweeteneranddumpeditin.

“Ofcourse.NotlikeIhadanythingbettertodo.Waynethinksit’llbeanother

coupleofdays.”Whenhermouthpuckeredatthat,Ishookmyhead.“I’msorry,

thatcameoutwrong.Everyone’sbeensowelcomingsinceI’vebeenhere.”

“Lukehasbeenmore‘welcoming’thanI’veseenhimwithanewcomerina

longtime.”

IthoughtMollymightgivemeasaucywinkorasmilewiththatcomment,but

herexpressionremainedserious.Shetastedhericedteaagainandfounditmore

toherlikingbeforeshecontinued.

“Listen,Ithinkit’sgreatyou’reinterestedinmybrother,butIthinktherearea

fewthingsyoushouldknow.”

Ah.Therealreasonsheaskedmetolunch.“Okay.”

“Lukeactstough,andheis,buthe’sbeenhurtbefore.He’sbeenthroughalot;

weallhave.Ijustdon’twanttoseehimgetleftbehindagain.”

Igotthesensethatshewasn’ttalkingabouttheirmother’sleavingtown.My

mindchurnedwithpossibilities,andmycuriositywastoostrongtotrytobe

polite.

Screwthat.Ifanyonewouldknow,Mollywould,soifIhadtopumpherfor

information,Iwould.

“Hashebeeninaseriousrelationshipbefore?”Iaskedpoint-blank.

Mollyfocusedonhersaladlikeitwasthemostinterestingthingshe’dseenall

day.“Hehas.Butthat’snotmyplacetotell.”Shethenlookedupandsmiledatme

assheturnedtheconversationtosaferground.

Iwasdyingtopush,butsmiledbackandletherhaveherway.Our

conversationleftmewithmorequestionsthananswers.

ChapterNine

Luke

IfIdidn’tknowanybetter,IwouldsaythatCharlotteFreemontwasreallystarting

tolikeShadyGrove.Themomentshecamebouncingthroughthedoorofthebar

withmysister,herfacelitupwhenshesawthecrowd.ItwasThursdaynightand

theDrunkSkunkwaspacked—packedwithwanderingeyesthatfollowed

Charlotte’severymoveasshewalkedmyway.

Igotit,though.Shewasgorgeousandhadanauraofmysterysurroundingher

thatdrewtheattentionofeveryhot-bloodedmanintheroom.Ihatedeveryoneof

thosemotherfuckerslookingather.

Eyesoffmygirl.

Mygirl?TherewasathoughtIdidn’thaveeveryday.LasttimeI’dwanteda

girltobemine,I’dendedupgettingmyhearttorntoshreds.Ineededtobecareful

whenitcametoCharlotte.Ibarelyknewher,butsomehowmysubconsciouswas

stakingclaim.AndI’dhadjustenoughtodrinktorollwithit.

“Evening,duchess,”Isaid,slidinganarmaroundherwaistwhenshewas

closeenough.Asubtlevibrationjoltedthroughherasourbodiespressedagainst

eachother.Shemeldedagainstmelikeitwasrightwhereshebelonged.

“Hellothere.”Shelookedupatme,herbigblueeyescrystalclearand

sparklingwithexcitement.“Howwasyourday?”

“Betternow.Yours?”

“Same,”shesaid,bitingatherbottomlip.

Thecrowdaroundusseemedtofadeaway,leavingjustthetwoofus.Ithad

beenafewdayssinceourlastkiss,andIhadn’tbeenabletostopthinkingabout

it.Thewayshe’dtasted.Thesoftmoanssheletout.Thewayherbodyreacted

undermytouch.Evenwhenweweretalkingbusiness,thethoughtsofravagingher

werealwaysthere.

Tonightwasthenightitwasgoingtohappen,comehellorhighwater.

“Youlookgoodenoughtoeat,”Isaid,lovingthewayherhairwasloosely

curledandhermakeupwasjustenoughtoaccentuateeverybeautifulfeatureofher

face.Theuppercurvesofherfantasticallyperfecttitswerepeekingoutfromher

V-neckshirt.Takingabiteofherwasgoingtobefun.IwetmylipsasIranahand

overherwaist.

“Ithoughtyoutwohatedeachother,”Dukesaidwithagrin,drawingour

attention.

“Thingschange.”Iglaredathim,needingmybrother’scommentslikeIneeded

aholeinthehead.

“Yeah,IthinkIkindoflikehimnow.”Charlotterestedherheadagainstmy

chestandgaveDukeashrug.

“Giveitafewdays.It’llwearoff,”Duketoldher,earningaslaponthe

shoulderfromme.

“Thanks,buddy.”IturnedmyattentionbacktoCharlotte.“Youwanttoeat?

Dance?Haveadrink?”Iranthroughthelistofoptionsforthenight,hopingthe

lust-filledlookinhereyesmeantshewasthinkingthesamethingIwas,which

wasnoneoftheabove.

“Maybeyoutwoneedtojustgetaroom,”Mollysuggested,breakingthetrance

thatlinkedthetwoofus.

“Itried.”Charlottechuckled.“Yourbrotheristoomuchofagentleman.”

“Idon’thavetobe,”Iwhisperedinherearwithagrowl.

Herbodytensed,andIcouldpracticallyheartheexcitedthumpofherheart.

We’dtiptoedaroundthissexualtensionforlongenough.JustbecauseI’dended

ourfirstnightbynotjumpingintobedwithherdidn’tmeanIwasgoingtodothe

samethingnow.Mycockhadbeenbeggingfordays,andIwasreadytodo

somethingaboutit.

“Wanttogetoutofhere?”Iasked.

ShegavemeasubtlenodandasmileasIlacedmyfingersthroughhers.The

feelofherpetitehandinminewasanaturalfit,whichaddedfueltothefire

alreadybuildinginsideme.

“Asmuchfunasthisplaceis,we’vegottogo,”ItoldDukeandMolly.

“Havefun,youtwo,”DukeshoutedoverthemusicasIledCharlottethrough

thecrowdtowardtheexit.

Assoonaswewereoutside,Ipulledherintomyarmsandgavehertheproper

greetingthatshedeserved.Mylipsfoundhersinaninstant.Mytonguegreedily

slippedintohermouthasIheldherclose.OnceIknewI’dleftherbreathless,I

resumedthehand-holdingandledhertomytruck.

“What’sgottenintoyou?”sheaskedwithalaughasIopenedthepassenger

doorforher.

“DecidedIwasdonewastingtime,duchess,”Irepliedwithasmirk.“Too

much?Toofast?”

“No,Ilikeit.”Shepressedherbodyagainstmineassheliftedonefootonto

therunningboardandstoodonthetiptoesoftheother.“Amanwhoknowswhat

hewantsisalwayssexy,”sheaddedasshepressedherlipssoftlyagainstmy

cheek.

Theangleofherbodygavemetheperfectopportunitytoshowherexactly

whatIwanted.Loopinganarmaroundherwaist,Ipressedthesteelofmycock

againsthercenter.ShemoanedatthecontactasIputmylipsonhers.Icouldfeel

theheatradiatingfromherandnearlycameonthespot.

I’dbeenthinkingalldayaboutwhereIwantedtotakeCharlottetonight.I

brokeourkissandcarefullyshutherinsidethetruck.Onemoresecondofher

temptation,andourfirsttimewasgoingtobeintheparkinglotoftheDrunk

Skunk.

“Whereareyoutakingme?”sheaskedwhenIsituatedmyselfbehindthe

wheelandstartedtheengine.

“Anywhereyouwanttogo.”

Itookherhandanddrewittomymouth,pressingmylipsagainstthebackofit

asmyeyesfoundhers.Darkcurlsframedherface,andherlipspartedasshetook

inasoftbreath.Mylibidowasinoverdrive,seriouslyblurringtherealityofwhat

washappeningbetweenus.

“Tothemoonthen,”shesaidwithagrin.

“Yougotit.”Ipulledoutoftheparkinglotandheadedtothemostromantic

spotIknew.

•••

“Isthisplaceforreal?”sheaskedwhenwearrivedatourdestination.Themoon

lookedcloseenoughtotouchasitgleamedfullandbrightintheinkysky.

Charlottequicklyhoppedoutofthetrucktotakeinoursurroundings.Agentle

breezepickedup,stirringthetopsofthetreesthatringedtheopenfield.There

wereplacesoutinthemiddleofnowherethatwerelikeheavenonearth,andthis

wasoneofthem.

“It’sreal.”

Iwalkedupbehindherandwrappedmyarmsaroundherwaist.Thegrassy

hilltopwewerestandingonwasatthefaredgeofourproperty,aplaceIwas

alwaysdrawntowhenIneededsomealonetime.Andalonetimewasexactly

whatIwantedrightnowwithCharlotte.Nointerruptions.Justpeaceandquiet—

andher.

“Seethatspeckoflightoverthere,”Isaid,pointingacrosstheway.“That’sthe

house.Andoverthere...”Ipointedoutaribbonoflightsintheopposite

direction.“That’sShadyGrove.”

“Thisisbeautiful.”Shesettledintomyarmswithasigh.“It’ssopeaceful.”

“It’sagoodplacetothink.Iloveitouthere.”AsIspoke,tallgrassesswayed,

stirredbythebreeze,andmillionsofstarsshimmeredoverhead.Ittrulywas

magicalhere.

“Metoo.”Shelookedoverhershoulderatme.“Thankyouforbringingme.”

“Imayhavehadsomeulteriormotives.”Idroppedaquickkissonherlips

beforeheadingtothetruckfortheblanketI’dthrowninearlier.Ireturnedtoher

sideandspreaditoutonthegrass.“Thisisagoodspotformorethanjust

thinking.”

“Apicnic?”sheteased.

“Yep.”Icrouchedtotakeaseatandtuggedherbythehandintomylap.

“Guesswho’sonthemenu?”

Ididn’tgivehertimetorespond.Instead,Icapturedhermouthwithmineand

letmykissanswerthequestionforher.

Ourmake-outsessionturnedintomorewhenCharlotteclimbedoffmylapand

layontheblanket,tuggingmebytheshirtontopofher.Thehorizontalpositionwe

foundourselvesinwasgivingmeallkindsofideas,especiallywhenshespread

herlegsandletmeslipmyhipsbetweenthem.Sheliftedslightly,diggingher

heelsintotheground,increasingthefrictionbetweenus.

EverytimeImovedagainsther,sheletoutraggedlittlewhimpers.

“Youtryingtokillme?”Isaid,feelinglikeIwasabouttoburstattheseams.

“Notyet.There’ssomethingI’dlikefirst.”Shereachedbetweenusand

palmedthebulgebetweenmylegs.Herslenderfingersgrippedmethroughthe

denim,anddamn,diditfeelgood.

“Yousureaboutthis?”Isatbackonmyheels.

Shegavemeasexylittlesmirk.“Areyou?”

“I’mserious,Charlotte.”AndIwas.Ididn’twanthertodosomethingshewas

goingtoregret.Thisnightcouldchangealotforus.“Westillhavetowork

together,andIknowyou’llbeleavingsoon.Ijustwanttomakesure—”

“IknowwhatIwant,Luke.Iwantyou.”Shesatupandquicklytuggedhershirt

overherheadbeforetossingitontheblanketnexttous.“Idon’twanttothink

aboutanythingelserightnow.”

“Okay,”Isaid,neveronetosecond-guessawomanwhosemindwasmadeup.

Charlottelikedtoremindmedailythatshewasanindependentwomanwho

madeherowndecisions.ThiswasonethatIwasn’tgoingtoquestion.Especially

whenIgotaglimpseofherinthatlacyscrapoffabricshecalledabra,andthe

matchingpantiesIfoundwhensheliftedherhipsandletmeslideherjeansoff.

“God,you’rebeautiful,”Isaid,droppingmylipstotheupperswellofher

breasts.

Ipulledmyshirtoff,wantingtofeelmyskinagainsthers.Hereyeswentwide

asIloweredmyselfontoher.Thefeelofherhandsonmychestwassearingasshe

smoothedthemoveritforthefirsttime.Asweexploredeachother’sbodies,I

committedthemomenttomemory.NotthatI’dbeabletoforgetitifItried.

Ipoppedthefrontclaspofherbraandfreedhertitsfromthelace.Herrosy

nipplestightened.Placingmylipsaroundoneandtuggingitslightlywithmyteeth,

Icaressedtheotherbetweenmyfingertips.

Shemoaned,pursingherlipstomufflethesoundsasIlavishedattentionon

oneandthentheother.Whenherbodyrockedagainstmineandmynamecameout

inawhisperofdesperation,IknewrightthenthatIneededtohearherscreamit

intothemoonlight.

“We’reinthemiddleofnowhere,baby,”Isaid,slippingmyhanddownthe

frontofherpantiesandfindingthewarm,wetheatIknewwouldbewaitingfor

me.Ideftlypartedherfoldsandfoundtheonespotthatwoulddriveherwild.

“Youbeasloudasyouwanttobe.”

Whensheletoutalittlewhimperofsatisfaction,Iswirledmythumboverthe

bundleofnerves,lovingthewayshetookadeepbreathandfrozeasIworkedher

achingflesh.

Asweetpinkblushspreadoverhercheeksasshewhispered,“Someonewill

hear.”

Ishookmyhead.“Rightnow,it’sonlyyouandme.Now,didyouwantmeto

suckonyourprettypinkclit?”

“Yes,”shemurmured,butshelookedtoocute,tooperfectlikethis,andI

wasn’twillingtogiveitupsoeasily.

Imadetomovemyhandawayfromher.“Idon’tthinkIheardyou.MaybeI

should—”

Shegrabbedmywristandguidedmebackbetweenherthighs.“Please.Don’t

stop.Iwantyou.Iwanttofeelyouthere.”

“Thenallyouneedtodoisscream.”

IofferedherwhatIhopedwasatantalizinggrin,thenguidedherbackagainst

theblanketanddroppedmylipstoherpert,rosynipplesagain.Takingoneinmy

mouth,Irolledthetipofmytonguearoundthepeak,mirroringthemoveofmy

thumbagainstherotherstrainingbud.

Sheletoutalittlegaspandcriedout,“Luke!”

Asareward,Ipushedonefingerinsideherandclosedmyeyesasherwalls

quakedaroundit.Anotherrushofbloodandneedsurgedtomycock,makingit

pulseagainstthecuttingzipperofmyjeans,butIignoredit.Rightnow,thiswas

allaboutCharlotte—hearingherscream,needinghertocallmyname.

Ipushedanotherfingerinsideandshejerkedagainstmymovement,urgingme

togivehermore.

“Yes,”shehissed.“Luke,yes.”

Isuckedharderonhernipple,knowingthatImightmarkherwithmyteeth,but

somehowthatthoughtmademeevenmorerock-hardthanbefore.Theideaof

watchinghertitsbouncewhileIfuckedherandlookingatthespotwhereI’d

claimedherasmine...

Fuck,Icouldn’tthinkofasinglethingsexierthanthat.

“Please,Iwanttofeelyou,Luke,”shecriedout.

Ipumpedmyfingersinandoutassherockedagainstmyhand.Herhipslifted

andwrithedasIworkedinsideher,andIsuckedharderagainstherskin,willing

myselftofocusonanythingotherthanhowgoodshefelt,howready.

Butitwasimpossible.Hereinthemoonlightwithallofnaturearoundus,she

wasprettierandmoreperfectthanIcouldhaveimagined.IfIdidn’tfreemycock

andfuckhersoon,Iwasgoingtoexplode.

Whenshebegged,“Luke,please,”Ireleasedhernipplewithalittlepopand

kissedmywaydownherstomach,rakingmynailsoverhersensitiveskinwithmy

freehand.Loweringmyselfdownherbody,Ipushedmyfingersevendeeper

insideasherchannelquakedandcrashedaroundme,thenpressedmylipstoher

prettypinkbud.

“Ohmy...”Thelastwordwasdrownedoutbyasharpgaspasmytongue

sweptouttoteaseher.

Gently,Iusedthetipofmytonguetodrawlittlefigureeightsoverher,andshe

wriggledbeneathmytouch,herhipsbuckingintomymouthasIfuckedherwith

myfingersoverandoveragain.

Iknewitwasn’tenough.Shewantedmore,wantedeverything.JustlikeIdid.

Buttonight,wewouldbothhavetowaitalittlelonger.

WhenIfinallygrippedmyselfandpushedinsideher,itwasgoingtobe

perfect.Almostasperfectasshelookedrighthereandnow.

ThemoonlightshoneonhercreamyskinasIlookedupather,meetinghergaze

asIlashedherbudagainwithmytongue.

“Ican’twaittoseewhatyoulooklikewhenyoucome,”Imurmured,andthen

suckedherclitgentlyassherockedintomeagain.“Doesyourmouthopenina

cutelittleo?”

“Doyouwantmetoshowyou?”Shegraspedtheblanketoneithersideofher,

andthewallsofherpussyquakedaroundmyfingersagain,harderandtighterthan

before.

“No,”Igroundout.“Iwanttofeelit.”

Thiswasthemoment—myoneshottogetitright.

Pullingmyfingersfromher,Isaid,“Keepgoing.”

Atmygruffcommand,shetookthelead,herdeftfingerscirclingherbudwhile

Imadequickworkofshovingdownmyboxersandpullingacondomovermy

shaft.WatchingherwasthesexiestthingI’deverseen.

“Hurry,”shebegged,andhereyessqueezedshut.“I’msoclose.”

Ipulledherpantiesasidebeforeshovingmyselfsodeepinsidethatherbreath

caught,andIwaspushedalmosttothebreakingpoint.Thathot,tightchannel

squeezedmesotightly,Iletoutagroan.

Allaroundme,sheshudderedwithpleasure.Herhandsreturnedtothe

blanket,tuggingatitasshewrithedagainstme.Itwasallsointense—thewarm

wetnessofherpussy,thestrainingacheofmycock,andmorethananythingelse,

thefierce,desperateneedformore.

Witheverylittleshiverofmovement,therewasaninstantofgratification,a

sliverofpleasure,butthathungergrewtoo,gnawingatmyinsidesandbeggingme

tolosecontrol.Iwanteddesperatelytofuckherharder,totakeherinmyarmsand

thrustsodeepandfast,shewouldn’tbeabletobreathe.

“Fuckyeah,baby.”Ileanedbackandgrabbedherthighs,watchingashertits

bouncedupanddownwitheverythrust.

Briefly,Iwonderedwhatitwouldlooklikeformetocomeonthoseperfect

titsofhers,mypearlyseedcoatinghercreamywhiteskin.

Thenhermouthdroppedintoalittleo,justasI’dhopeditwould,andIwasn’t

thinkinganythingatall.Sheshuddered,murmuringmynameunderherbreath.

Withanothershiverofpleasureatthesight,Igrippedherharderstilland

demanded,“Screamforme,duchess.”

Itdidn’ttakemuchconvincing.

“Luke!”shecried,andhervoiceechoedbacktousthroughthenightair.

“Luke!”

“Yes,baby,scream.”

“Fuckme,”shecried,andthatwasenoughtosendmeovertheedge.

Cuppingonebreast,Ipinchedhernippleasshebuckedandtrembledbeneath

me.God,shewasbeautiful,herperfectfacetensewithherneed,herbreastsilky

softinmyhand,andhertightcunthuggingmelikeafist.Theshiversofherorgasm

werestillrollingoverherasminecametothecliffandpausedattheedge.

AsIlookeddownatCharlotteinthemoonlight,mycockglossywithher

wetnessasIpushedandpulledourbodiestogether,itwasenoughtomakemy

ballsache,lockedandreadyfortakeoff.

Quickly,Ipulledherkneesuptomychestandtookherdeeper,closingmy

eyesasthewetwarmthofhersentashiverthroughmyveins,andmyclimaxbuilt.

Alow,deepgroanwasrippedfrommylipsasthegnawingpressureinmygut

intensified,thenloosenedandspreadthroughmybody,sendingfrissonsof

satisfactionthroughmeashotstreamsspurtedfrommyswollenlength.

Asthefinalwavesofpleasurecrasheddownoverme,Ihadonlyonethought.

Weneedtodothisagain...

Andagainandagain.

ChapterTen

Charlotte

Fridaymorning,IawokeinLuke’smassivefour-posterbed.Itsbluesheetswere

twistedanddisheveled,bearingtheevidenceofourlovemakingfromlastnight,

roundtwoonceweendeduphereafterleavingthatmagicalhilltop.

Hissideofthebedwasempty,andIcouldhearnoisesdownstairs.Stretching

leisurely,Inotedmybodyfelttenderandusedinallthebestways.Lukemade

lovewiththesamepassionandintensitythathelivedhislife—hewaswild,

strong,andabithotheaded.I’denjoyedmyselfimmenselylastnight.

Theselastfewdaysspentexploringeachother’sworldswerebetterthanI

couldhavedreamed.ThemostshockingrevelationwasthatI’dgottenatasteof

countrylifeandIdidn’thateit.Thepeople,thefood,thepace,thelifestyle—all

werethingsIwasn’tusedto.ButhereinShadyGrove,Iwaslearningtoslow

downandenjoyeachmoment,tosavoreachday.Asunexpectedasitwas,I

suspectedIwaslearningalifelessonintheprocess.

ButasmuchfunasI’dhadwithLuke,Ialreadyknewthatourflinghada

tickingclockattachedtoit.Eventually,thealarmwouldsoundanditwouldallbe

over—I’dgobacktomyworld,andhetohis.Alittlepangofguiltflaredinside

me—Ihadn’ttoldhimhowI’dendeduphere,orwhatIwasrunningfrom.Now

thatwe’dbeenintimate,Ifeltlikemyomissionhadbeenabald-facedlie.Butthen

again,maybeIdidn’thavetospillmygutsaboutthewholemessyaffair.Lukehad

apasttoo,andIdidn’tpryintothat.Irespectedhisboundaries.Maybewecould

bothkeepoursecretssafelyguardedandenjoythisforwhatitwas.

IshruggedonaT-shirtandmademywaydownstairs.Ahulkingmaleformwas

standingnearthecoffeemaker,dressedinnothingmorethanapairofwornjeans,

butwhenheturnedIsawitwasDuke.

Aslowsmileunfurledonhislips.“Comegivemesomesugar.”

Placingonehandonmyhip,Istoppednexttothecounter,grabbingacoffee

mugfromthestrainerbythesink.“I’montoyou,mister.”

Hechuckled.“Damn.Iwasjustabouttoapologizeformyperformancelast

night.”

“Iknowthedifferencebetweenamanwho’sfuckingwithmeandamanwho’s

actuallyfuckedme.Andyourbrotherdidarealgoodjob.Nicetry,Duke.”Ipatted

hishead.

Thetwinswerevirtuallyidenticalineveryway,fromtheirexpressivegreen

eyeswithflecksofgoldtotheirfullmouthsthatpulledeasilyandoftenintoa

smirk.Theywerebuiltexactlythesame—sixfeetofhardmuscle.

“YouandMollyaretheonlypeopleontheplanetwhocantellusapart.Even

ourownmothercouldn’tdoithalfthetime,”headded,stillgrinningatme.

Icouldn’tputmyfingeronexactlywhatitwas,butevenfromthatfirstday,I

couldtellwhowaswho.Itmightsoundlikenew-agenonsense,butmaybeitwas

theirauras.WhereDukewasallplayfulandmischievousenergy,Lukewasall

brooding,masculineintensity.Thesexystrangercapturedmyattentionfromthe

firstmomentIsawhim,eventhoughIneededamanlikeIneededanewLouis

Vuittonbag.

Afewminuteslater,LukemadehiswayintothekitchenandDukeexcused

himself,leavingusalone.

“Morning,”Lukemurmured,hisgazetravelingthelengthofmybarelegs.

“Comehere,”Itoldhim.“I’vegotsomethingtoshowyou.”

Ituggedhimtowardthekitchentable,andovercoffee,laidoutmymarketing

plan.Lukesatbackwithaslightgrinonhislips,listeningattentivelytoevery

word.

“I’mimpressedthatyousawstraightthroughDuke’sgame,”hesaid.

Mygazeflickeduptomeethis.“I’dnevermakethatmistakenowthat...”

“Nowthatwhat,duchess?I’vebeeninsideyou?”

Hisvoicewaslowandseductive,andahotshiverracedthroughme.Ilifted

mychin,waitingforthepressofhislipsagainstmine.

“I’mjustgettingstarted,”hewhispered,treatingmetoatenderkiss.

Lastnighthadbeenmagical.Makingloveunderthestars,andthewayLuke

tookcareofallmypleasurefirstbeforeseekinghisown.Itwasincredible.

Partofmewantedtopretendthatthiswasreal,buttheloomingendofmystay

herewasquicklyapproaching.AndthepastIwasontherunfrom...Well,Ihad

abadfeelingthatitwouldcatchuptomesoonerorlater.

“Icouldlistentoyoutalkbusinessallday,duchess.”

IgrinnedatLuke.“Good,becauseI’mjustgettingstartedtoo.”

ChapterEleven

Luke

IcouldhavelistenedtoCharlotterambleonalldaylongaboutsearch-engine

optimization,whateverthehellthatwas.Seeinghowpassionateshewasaboutthe

wholemarketingthingwasarealturn-on.She’dworkedontheplanwhileweate

pancakesthatmorning,andhadn’tletupsince.

ThatwasafterIcaughtmybrothertryingtopullafastoneonher.After

sneakingoutofbedforaquickshowerthatmorning,Iwentdowntothekitchen

andfoundherchattingwithDukewhilewearingoneofmyT-shirtslikea

nightgown.

Thenaturalnessofthesituationhadstoppedmeinmytracks.Herlong,toned

legspeekingoutfromtheshirtandhercutelittlebarefeetonthehardwoodfloor

wereasightIwouldn’thavemindedseeingeveryday,butthatwasn’twhatwe’d

agreedto.Whateverweweredoingherehadanexpirationdate,andIneededto

rememberthat.

I’dwaitedinthestairwelltoremindmyselfthatthiscouldn’tlastwhenIheard

themtalking.Dukewouldneveractuallymakeamoveonher—wehadabrocode

thatforbadeit.Iknewhewasjustseeinghowinvestedshewasinwhateveritwas

wehadgoingon.

ButwhenIheardhercallhimoutonnotbeingmefromtheget-go,thesqueeze

onmyheartwasunexpected.Andthestroketomyegowaslikeabalmtomysoul.

“Iknowthedifferencebetweenamanwho’sfuckingwithmeandaman

who’sactuallyfuckedme.Andyourbrotherdidarealgoodjob.”

I’dfuckedher,allright.Anditwasgoddamnspectacular.Icouldstillfeelthe

tightsqueezeofheraroundme.Justthinkingaboutthepasttwenty-fourhourshad

mereadytogoagain.IfIonlyhadCharlotteuntilhercarwasfixed,Iwasgoingto

makethemostofit.I’dlethereatandgetalittleworkinfirst,though.

“Theytaughtyouallofthisincollege?”Iasked,stoppingherinmid-sentence.

“Someofit,”shesaidwithagrin.“Marketingchangessomucheveryyear.

Everyday,even.AlotofitIpickedupalongthewayorlearnedonthefly.”

“I’mimpressed.”Iplacedmyhandonhers.

Theurgetosweepmyhandacrossthetable—clearingitdramaticallyofher

paperwork—wasstrong.I’dalreadyhadheronthegroundunderthestars,andin

mybed,soaddingatabletothelistseemedlikeamightyfineidea.

“Iactuallylearnedalotfromwatchingmyfather,”shesaid.

Well,thatabruptlyputthebrakesonthesexualnatureofmythoughts.Nothing

likethementionofdearoldDadtokillthemood.Inoddedandtoldmydickto

standdown.

“Notthathewouldeverknow,”sheadded,“orevenletmegetawordinathis

firm.”

“Whywouldn’thewantyoutobeapartofit?You’resmart,andlikeIsaid,

youknowyourshit.Plus,you’rehisdaughter.”

Shefrowned.“Dad’sfirmisarealboys’club.Idon’tthinkheeventookme

seriouslywhenImajoredinmarketing.Ispentalotoftimetryingtoimpresshim

andgainhisapproval.I’mdonewiththat,though.Hewasnevergoingtomake

roomformeatFreemontandAssociates.”

“That’sridiculous,”Itoldher,feelingoverprotective.Iknewalittlebitabout

parentsdisappointingyou.

Herdadsoundedlikeagrade-Aasshole,whichwentalongwaytoward

explainingwhyshewaspackedupandheadedforLA.Howonearthherfather

couldn’ttakeherseriouslywasbeyondme.Icouldseethefrustrationand

disappointmentinhereyes.Charlottemighthavebeentryingtoplayitcool,butI

couldseethewoundwasstillfresh.

“It’shisloss.”

“Andyourgain,Mr.Wilder,”shesaidplayfully.

“Isitever.”Iroseupenoughinmyseattoleanoverthetableandplantmylips

onhers.“Youtastelikemaplesyrup.”

WhenIflickedmytongueacrossherlips,sheliftedhereyebrows.“You

wannatakethatbottleuptoyourroomandhavealittlefun?”

“Thatsoundslikearealgoodidea.Butdidn’tyousaysomethingabout

needingtocheckinwithWayne?”

“Oh,yeah.”Shedeflatedalittle,lookingdisappointed.“Itotallyforgotabout

mycar.”

IwishedI’dforgotten.

ShepickedupherphonefromthetableasIsatbackdown.Afteraquick

swipeofherfingerandacoupleoftaps,sheputituptoherear.

“Hello,thisisCharlotteFreemont.IwascallingtotouchbasewithWayne

aboutmycar.”Therewasapauseasshelistened.“So,he’soutfortheday?”She

noddedacoupleoftimes.“Allrightthen.Thankyou.”

“Nogo?”Isaid,hopingtheanswerwasjustthat.

“Nogo.Apparently,there’ssomekindofgametonight,andhe’stakentheday

offtoprepare.”

Ofcourse.Tonightwasthefirstgameofthehighschoolfootballseason.

“Yeah,theStallionskickofftonightatseven.Wayne’skidisaseniorthisyear.

I’msurehe’sonthestartingroster.”

Shescratchedherheadandwrinkledhernose.ShehadnoideawhatIwas

talkingabout.

“ShadyGroveHighSchoolhastheirfirstgametonight,”Iexplained.

“Everyoneintowntreatsitasaholiday.Footballisabigdealaroundhere,ifyou

haven’tfiguredthatoutyet.”

“Iguessso.Youtakingmetothegametonight?”

“Youwanttogo?”

Iwassurprised,especiallywhenshehadn’tcomplainedaboutWayne’s

incompetenceorthefactthathercarstillwasn’tready.Andnowshewantedtogo

toafootballgamewithme?Thisgirlsureknewhowtokeepmeonmytoes.

“IthinkIdo.”Shenodded.“Whattimedoesitstart?”

“Seven.Thatgiveyouenoughtoprimp?”Iteased.

“Morethanenough.”

Sheslippedfromherseatandwalkedovertome.Whensheplantedher

perfectassonmylapandwrappedherarmsaroundmyneck,shehadmyfull

attention.

“Infact,”shesaidinalowvoice,“that’smorethanenoughtime.”

Sheranhermouthupmyjawlinebeforetakingthelobeofmyearbetweenher

lipsandsuckinggently.Iswallowedhardaseverydropofmybloodrushedsouth.

“Whydon’tyougrabthatbottleandmeetmeupstairs,Mr.Wilder.”

Thepurrofherwordshadmyheadspinning,butIwasn’tcompletely

dumbstruck.Whenshehoppedupoffmylapandstartedforthestairs,Igrabbed

thesyrupbottleandfollowedher.

Wehadafewhourstokillbeforekickoff,andenoughsyruptomakeeachof

themsweeterthanthelast.

•••

Theroarofthecrowdwasdeafening.TheStallionswereupbysix,butthe

opposingteamhadtheballwiththreeminutestogo.

Charlotteturnedwideeyesonme.“Thisisinsanity.”

“Iftheymakeittotheendzone,it’sgoingtobeevenworse,”Iwarned.

TheStallionswereheavyfavoritesthisyear,andlosingtheirfirstgamewould

havebeenahugeupset.Thecrowdwasscreamingouttheirdefensivechants,

remindingtheplayersonthefieldofthepressurethatwasonthem.

ThatwasonethingIdidn’tmissaboutplayingfootball—theconstantpressure

towin.

SomewherebetweenplayinginhighschoolandwhenIplayedincollege,the

funwentoutofthegameforme.Iwasn’tsadatallformyfootballcareertobe

over,andneitherwasmybody,whichhadbeenbatteredandbruisedthroughmy

entireadolescence.NotthatIcouldeversharethatwithanyoneinmyhometown.

Thatwasakintoblasphemyinafootballtown.Youeitherplayedfootball,or

wantedtobeplaying.

“Iwantoneofthosegiantpretzels,”Charlottesaid.“I’mgoingtogonow

whileeveryoneiswatchingthis.There’snoline.”

Ihadtolaughatherindifferencetothegame.Therewewereinthemiddleof

anail-biter,andshewantedapretzel.

“I’llgowithyou,”Isaid,takingherhandinmine.

“Yousure?Don’tyouwanttoseewhathappens?”

“I’mgood,”Itoldheraswestoodupandheadeddownthebleachers.“I’ve

seenenoughfootballgamestolastmealifetime.”

Aswewalkeddownthemetalsteps,shewrappedherfreehandaroundmy

armandpressedherselfagainstmyside.

“Isthishowhighschoolwasforyou?”sheasked.“Friday-nightlightsandall

that?”

“Yeah.DukeandIplayed.Weevenwenttocollegeonscholarship.”

“That’sawesome.”

“Itwasallright.”Ishrugged.“Paidforcollege.”

“Youmissit?Allthehype?Theattention?”

“Notreally.”Assoonasthewordswereoutofmymouth,Ihalfexpected

lightningtostrikemewhereIstood.

“Whataboutthecheerleaders?I’llbettheywerealloveryou.”

“Therewereafew,”Isaidwithachuckle.“Ihadsomegoodtimesunderneath

thesebleachers.”

“Isthatright?”

Asparkofjealousyflickeredinhereyes,andbeforeIcouldsayanotherword,

Charlottetuggedmeunderneaththebleachers,herpretzelforgotten.

HerlipswereonminebeforeIcouldevenregisterwhatwashappening.The

stompsandscreamscomingfromaboveusgrewlouderwitheachtickofthe

clock,butallIcoulddowasconcentrateonthebeautifulwomanpressingher

bodyagainstmine.Herlipsandtongueweredoingtheirdamnedesttoeraseany

memoriesofhighschoolmake-outsessionsunderthebleachersthatmighthave

beenlingeringinmyhead.

Anditwasworking.

IgrabbedoneofthemetalsupportrodsabovemyheadandsteadiedusasI

wrappedtheotherarmaroundherwaist.You’dthinkafterourmorningwiththe

maplesyrup,shewouldhavehadherfillofme,butherewewere,makingout

underthebleachersliketwosex-starvedteenagers.

“Youforgetaboutthemyet?”Shesmirkedatmewhenwefinallybrokeforair,

bothofustryingtocatchourbreath.

“Baby,theywereneverevenamemory.”Idroppedalastquickkissonher

lips.“Now,let’sgetthatpretzelandgetthehelloutofhere.”

ChapterTwelve

Charlotte

ThecrowdthunderedoverheadasLukegrabbedmyhand,pullingmetotheedge

ofthebleacherswherepeoplewerealreadypouringfromthestands.

“Shit,”hemumbled.“Gamemustbeover.”

“Doesthatmeantheconcessionstandisclosed?”

Helaughedwhenmystomachgrumbled.“Howisthatevenlouderthanthe

peoplearoundus?”

Ishrugged.“Specialtalent,Iguess.”

Lukeledmebythehandasweblendedintothecrowd,weavingthroughthe

massofpeopleheadingbacktotheircars.Hereandthere,Icaughtpeoplelooking

athimfromthecorneroftheireyes,theirexpressionshalf-adoring,half-confused

—probablybecausetheyweretryingtomakeoutwhichtwinhewas.

Ourearlierconversationaboutfootballcametomind.He’dreally

downplayedit,Iknew,butithadtobenosmallthingtogetafullridetocollege,

especiallyforaschoolashighprofileasA&M.Andinatownlikethis?Itwould

likelymakehimsomekindofgod.Still,hetookitinstride,smilingatthepeople

aroundhimandignoringtheirgrinsofapprovalandadoration.

“Whathappenedaftercollege?”Iaskedwhenwefinallymadeitthroughthe

thickofthecrowd.

Theconcessionstandwasjustinfrontofus,andLukepivotedtolookatme.

“What?”

“YousaidyouwenttoA&Mforcollege.Whatdidyoudoafterthat?Imean,

whatdidyoumajorin?Didyoualwayswanttorunthedistillery?”

Hisfacetwistedforaminute,butaswecametothefrontofthelittlesnack

shack,hesmiledandwavedatthegirlbehindthecounterwhowastossingoutthe

leftoverhotdogs.

“Jill,”hesaid.“Hey.”

Sheblinkedupathim,andwhensherealizedwhohewas,sheblushed.“Hey

there.”

“Gotanyleftoverpretzels,ordidyoutossthoseoutalready?”

Shenoddedandheadedforthecasewherefivegiantgolden-brownpretzels

twirledonasilverrack.Takingapapertissue,shegrabbedoneandhelditoutfor

him.

“Hellofagame,”shesaid.“Almostlikewhenyouwereplaying.’Cept,of

course,ifyou’dbeenoutthere,wewould’vewon.”

Shenoddedtowardthebackwall,andmygazefollowedherstoarowof

framedjerseys.Okay,soapparentlydownplayingdidn’tquitecoverit.

Fivejerseyshungfromthewhitecinderblockwall,alldisplayedundera

brightyellowlight.Intheverycenterweretwothatread“Wilder,”oneIassumed

withLuke’snumberandtheotherwithDuke’s.

“Itwasagreatgame.Theygaveitalltheyhad,”Lukesaid,seemingly

oblivioustomyrevelation.“WhatdoIoweyou?”

Jillshrugged.“Onthehouse.Would’vegoneinthetrash,anyway.”

Wesaidourgood-byesbeforejoiningthecrowdstillstreamingtotheparking

lot.WhenItookabiteofthesaltyhotdough,Lukefrownedatme.

“Don’tyouwantsomemustardorcheese?”

“Andsullytheperfecttasteofthispretzel?Notonyourlife.”Igavehima

playfulshoveandtookanotherbite,thinkingoverwhattosaynext.IknewwhatI

wantedtosay.

Don’ttakemebacktotheinn.Letmestayatyourplacetonight,and

tomorrownighttoo.Andthenwecanjustgoourseparatewaysandhavethis

funmemorytotakewithus.

Still,itfelttooforward.Icouldn’texactlyinvitemyselfintosomeoneelse’s

homefortheweekend,andevenifIcould...wasn’tthatalittletooseriousfor

somethingthatwebothagreedwasafling?

“Charlotte?”

Ishookmyhead,tryingtorecallwhatLukehadbeensaying,butitwasnouse.

“Huh?”

“Isaid,canIgiveyouaridetotheinn?”

“Oh,yeah,thatwouldbegreat.”Ifollowedhimtohistruck,listeningtothe

chatteraroundusaspeoplerehashedthegame.

“Whatwerewetalkingabout?”heaskedashegotbehindthewheel.

Isettledintothepassengerseat.“Iaskedaboutcollege.Whatdidyoumajor

in?”

“Business.”

“Forthedistillery?”

Hisfacetwistedintoafrown.“Notexactly.”

“Whatdoesthatmean?”

Heglancedatmefromthecornerofhiseye,hisprofileandsquarejaw

lookingasfineashell,eveninthedarkenedinteriorofthetruck.“I’lltellyou,but

firstyouhavetopromisethatyou’renotthejealoustype.”

“Jealous?”Ilaughed,butmystomachtightened.“Whatdoyoumean?”

“Youknowwhatjealousylookslike.Promisemeyoucancontainyourself.”

“IthinkIcanmanage.”Irolledmyeyes,butsecretlyIwaswishingIwas

anywhereelserightnow.

“Ihadactuallygonetoschoolforbusinessbecausemygirlfriendatthetime

wantedtoopenahigh-endspa,”heexplained.

Irosemyeyebrowsbutsaidnothing.

“Shewasarealcitytype,andwehadaplantoopenhercompanyinDallas

becausethat’swheretheclientelewas.Butthingsdidn’tworkoutthatway.”

“Whatdoyoumean?”

“BythetimeIgraduated,thedistillerywasgoingunder,andmydadwastoo.I

hadtocomebackhometolendahand.”

Ishothimaglanceundermylashes,atwingeofpitysizzlingthroughmeatthe

paininhisvoice.“AndDukedidthesame?”

Lukenodded.“No-brainer.”

“Andwhathappenedto...”Iletthequestionhangintheair,studyingLuke’s

faceasIwaitedforhimtofillintheblank.Hedidn’tlookpainedanymore,buthe

didn’tlookexcitedtobedredgingitallupeither.

“Sarah,”hefinishedforme.“Shecamebackwithme.Forawhile,atleast.

LikeIsaid,shewasthecitytype,andlivinginasmalltown—especiallyone

whereeveryonealreadyknewme—wasn’therstyle.”

“Isee.”Inodded.“Thatmusthavebeenhardforyou.Takingoneverythingand

—”

“Lookslikewe’rehere.”Lukecutmeoffashepulledinfrontoftheinn.

Istaredatit,stunnedwe’dgottenheresoquickly.Whydidtimeseemtoflyby

soquicklywhenIwaswithhim?

“Okaythen.Well,thanksforthatandthepretzel,”Isaid,shakingitathimlike

astick.“Ihadfun.”

Imovedtopushmydooropenandpaused,suckinginasteadyingbreath

beforeturningtofaceLuke.

“Doyouwanttocomeinforawhile?”

ChapterThirteen

Luke

Charlotteglancedfrommetotheinnandbackagainbeforetiltingherheadtothe

side,lettinghersilkyhaircascadeoverhershoulder.“Don’tfeelobligatedor

anything.IjustthoughtI’dask.Nobigdeal.”Hercheekswentpinkasshe

scrabbledforthedoorhandleagain.

“I’llcomeinforasec.”MygroinwenttightandIshrugged.“Butonlytohelp

youpack,”Isaidsoftly.

Sheblinkedinconfusion,hermouthhalf-open.“Whatdoyoumean?”

Ileanedcloserandtracedafingeroverthelineofherjaw.“Yourcarisn’t

goingtobefixeduntilMonday.It’sjustplainsillyforyoutokeepstayinghere

whenI’dratherhaveyouinmybed.”Iletoutalowgrowl,leaningintonipather

earlobebeforepullingback.

Shedroppedthelastbitofherpretzelintoherlapandletoutanervouslaugh.

“Areyousureaboutthat?”

Inodded.“Look,webothknowthedealhere.You’vegottogetbacktoyour

lifeandI’vegottofocusonthedistillery,butfortherestoftheweekend...”I

shrugged.“Idon’tseewhat’sstoppingusfromhavingalittlefun.Don’tyoulike

whatwe’vebeendoing?”

Hereyesgleamed,andIguessedshewasthinking—likeIwas—ofthewayI’d

pouredmaplesyrupalloverherbodythatafternoonandlappeditupwithmy

tongue.Iwascarefultoensurehernipplesandthedeliciousspotbetweenherlegs

werewellandtrulycleanbeforeIdraggedherintotheshowerandlatheredthe

restofherbodywithshampoo.

“It’sbeenfun,”shesaid,soundingalittlebreathless.

“So,it’ssettled.Let’sgogetyourstuff.”

Shequirkedherlipstothesidebeforepickingupherpretzelandpushingopen

herdoor.“Fine.I’llgrabmybag,butyoustayhere.Idon’twantanyoneseeingme

leavewithyouandgettingthewrongideathatI’mawomanofloosemorals,”she

saidwithachuckle.“ButI’mwarningyou,ifyou’regoingtoteasemelikethis,

you’dbetterbereadytohurrybacktoyourplaceandmakegoodonthoseimplied

threats.”

“Yougotit.”

Igrinnedandwatchedherdisappearbehindtheinn’sfrontdoor,mymind

driftingtohowshe’dlookedbeneaththebleachersandinmyoversizedT-shirt

thismorning,comparedtohowshelookedwhenshefirstgothere.

Therewasnouseincomparing,ofcourse,butitseemedliketherewas

somethingdifferentabouthernow.Backwhenwefirstmet,shewasinhoity-toity,

high-classNewYorkmode.Butunderthebleachers,andinmybed,shewasn’ta

duchess.ShewasjustCharlie,laughingandpretty,andallmine.

Butthen,Sarahhadbeenlikethattoo.

AndCharlottewouldbegoingsoon,justlikeSarahdid,butthistimeIhadthe

advantageofknowingthatinadvance.Iwasn’tseriousaboutCharlottelikeI’d

beenwithmyex,andwebothknewasmuch.So,aslongasIkeptmyheartoutof

allthisandjusthadfun,whatwasthebigdeal?

MollyhadtoldmeIworkedtoohardandneededabreak.Maybethiswas

exactlywhatshemeant—Ineededawarm,sexybodytosharemybed,someoneI

couldhavesomelaughsandunwindwith,nostringsattached.Noharm,nofoul.

Charlottesteppedoutoftheinn,suitcaseinhand.Iclimbedouttohelpher

withthebag,butsheluggeditaroundthetruckandshoveditinsidewith

surprisingspeed.Aswesettledbackintoourseatsandpreparedtoheadbackto

myhouse,Isensedanodddisturbanceintheairbetweenus,atensionthathadn’t

beentherebefore.

Ofcourse,itcouldhavebeenbecauseshewasgettingreadytospendtherest

oftheweekendwithamanshe’donlyknownforafewdays,butsomethingtold

methatwasn’tit.

MaybeIshouldn’thavementionedSarahearlier.OrmaybewhenIdid,I

shouldhaveturnedtowatchCharlotte’sexpressiontoseeexactlywhatshe

thought.If,ofcourse,shehadanythoughtsaboutmyexatall.Ithadbeensolong

ago,andmylifehadchangedsomuchsincethen.

Iclearedmythroat.“Okay,soyouknowallaboutmylifeandmypast.What

aboutyou?”

Shereeledaroundtolookatme.“Likewhat?”

“ItoldyouaboutcollegeandSarah.Youmusthavesomestoryabout—Idon’t

know—yourdebutanteball?Theprincewhoaskedforyourhandinmarriage?”

Sheblushedandlookedoutthewindow.“Ididn’thaveadebutanteball.”

“Collegethen.Youmajoredinmarketing,right?”

“Idid.Notmuchtoknow.IwenttoSarahLawrence.Itwasfine.”She

shrugged.“Endofstory,really.”

“Idoubtthat.Noguysinyourlife?”Iraisedmybrows.“Highschool

sweetheartwhobrokeyourheart?”

“Iwenttoanall-girlsschool,butgoodtry,”sheshotback.

“Huh.Idon’tknowasinglepersonintheworldthateverstopped,”Isaidwith

agrin.“Youdon’tmeantosithereandtellmeyougaveyourvirginitytosome

randomguyyoumetwhenyourcarbrokedowninTexas?”

Sherolledhereyes.“Okay,soI’vehadboyfriends,butthatdoesn’tmeanthey

wereanythinginterestingenoughtotalkabout.”

“Whatwasthelastonelike?Whatwashisname?”

“Why?Youthejealousonenow,Luke?”Sheshotmeatightgrin.“Yougonna

gofighthim?”

Ilaughed.“Dependsonhowthingsended.Washemeantoyou?”

Sheturnedtolookoutthewindowagain.“HisnamewasPrescott.”

ThistimeIlaughedevenlouder.“Areyouforreal?”

Sheblushed.“Itwasafamilyname.”

“WhichmeanshewasactuallyPrescottMoneybagsthewhat?Fourth?Fifth?”

“PrescottBillingsley.”Sheclearedherthroatandaddedunderherbreath,

“Thesixth.”

“Wow,thesixth.”Iletoutalowwhistle.“So,he’soldmoneythen.Big

score.”

Shefrowned.“LikeIsaid,nothingtowritehomeabout.”

“Youmeantotellmeyourparentsdidn’tdoahappydancewhenyoutoldthem

whoyouweredating?”

“Look,it’snotimportant.”

Sherubbedherpalmsoverherthighs,andIdidmybestnottorollmyeyes.

“Howdidthingsend?”

Anotherheavysilencefilledthecabofthetruck,andsheshiftedinherseat.“It

wasfine.Thingsjustdidn’tworkout.Look,Idon’twanttotalkaboutit,”she

practicallysnapped,thensmoothedahandoverherhair.“I’msorry.Youwereso

open.Ishouldn’t—”

“No,no.”Ishookmyhead.“It’sfine.Ifyoudon’twanttotalkaboutit,we

don’thaveto.”

Icouldn’tdeny,though,thatherrepliesintriguedmeandsentmysixthsense

tingling.WhileIwasn’tjealous,exactly,Iwasmuchmoreinvestedinheranswers

thanIshouldhavebeen.

Thisisafling,Luke.Don’tforgetit.

Igrippedthewheelmoretightlyandturnedmyattentionbacktotheroad.

“Look,Inormallymeetacoupleofoldfriendsatthebarafterthegame,butIcan

callandcancelifyou’drathernotgo—”

“No,don’tcancel.YouhadnowayofknowingI’dbehere,andIdon’twant

youtobail.Thatsaid,I’mreallytired.Whydon’tyoujustdropmeoff?I’llgeta

niceup-close-and-personallookatthatbigclaw-foottubofyours,andhavesome

popcorn.Anicelittle‘me’night.”

Theimageofhershimmeringwithwaterasshestoodfromthebathtub,her

pearly-whiteskinfreeofatowel,madeanotherrushofneedsurgetomycock,but

Inoddedallthesame.Suddenly,IfeltlikeIneededthespace.

“Okay,ifyou’resure.Iwon’tstayoutlong.”

“I’msure.”

Idroppedheroffandheadedforthebar,thinkingaboutSarah...andPrescott

BillingsleytheSixth.

Prescottwasexactlythekindofnameforaguylikethat.TheritzyNewYork

royaltythatshe’dinevitablymarrysomeday.Then,whentheyhadtheirpenthouse

andsheslidintotheirclaw-foottub,maybeshe’dthinkabouttheoneinmyhouse

andremember...

Ormaybenot.

Eitherway,itdidn’tmatter.Thisthingwehad?Ithadanexpirationdate

stampedonit,andnobodywasmoreokaywiththatthanme.Charlottewas

probablyitchingtogetbacktocitylife,andLordknewIhadenoughtodowiththe

distillerytokeepmebusyforanotherfewyearsatleast.

Itwasashame,though.Ifsheweresomethingelse,someoneelse...ifshe

werethegirlwho’dpulledmebeneaththebleachersearliertonight?Well,Imight

havebeenabletofallinlovewithsomeonelikethat.

•••

WhenIgottotheDrunkSkunk,itdidn’ttakemelongtofindCaseandRanger

alreadybellieduptothebarandwaitingwithathirdbeerinfrontoftheempty

stoolbesidethem.AsImademywaynearer,Casemadeawhoopingsoundand

Rangerpattedthestool.

“Theprodigalquarterbackreturns,”Rangersaid.“Whyareyousolate?”

“IhadtograbCharlotte’sstuffanddropheroff.”

“Oh,sheheadedoutoftowntonight?”Caseasked,butRangercutinbeforeI

hadthechancetoanswer.

“Ofcoursenot.YouknowWaynewasatthegame.”

“Whichmeansifshe’snotattheinnandshe’snotoutoftown...”Caseeyed

meashepieceditalltogether.“Aw,shit.”

“Shutup,”Imuttered,butRangerhootedagain.

“Sureyouwanttospendyournightwithuswhenyougotbetterprospects

waitingforyouathome?”

“Thisiswhynobodytellsyouanything,”Isaid,andthentookaswigofmy

beer.

“Peopletellusplenty.”Caseshrugged.“Justdependsifwecaretolisten.”

“Didyouseethisone?”RangeraskedCase.

Hebithisknuckleandnodded.“She’spretty.Realnicefigure.Would’ve

peggedherforDuke’stypeifIhadn’theardaboutthewholesalondebacle.”

“Somethinghappenedatthesalon?”Iraisedmyeyebrows,tryingtoact

nonchalantbutcuriousanyway,andalsooddlyirritatedbyCase’snoticeof

Charlotte’sfigure.Hewasn’tblind,afterall,andshedidhaveabangingbody,but

still.

“Yep,hearditfromAudrey.Mrs.Frenchalwaysgetshernailsdoneon

Mondays,butapparentlyCharlottewalkedinandtookherspot.Gotherhairdone

tooinsomefancyblowout,whateverthehellthatmeans.”

“Idon’tknowhowanyofthathasanythingtodowithme,”Ishotback.

“Agirlwhosefirstgoalintownistogethernailsandhairdone?Big-citytype

withsomedesignerhandbag?Doesn’tringabell?”Rangerraisedhiseyebrows

andmystomachtwisted.

“Look,ifyou’retalkingaboutSarah—”

Casegrimaced.“God,Ihopenobodyis.I’mtryingtohaveabeerandenjoy

mynight.Noneedtorelivethatnightmare.”

“Shewasn’tthatbad,”Iargued,althoughIinwardlycringedatthememory.

Itwastrue,SarahhadstuckoutaroundShadyGroveaboutasmuchas...

well,aboutasmuchasCharlottedid.Butthereweredifferencesbetweenthetwo.

Sarahwouldneverhavegonetothegamewithmetonight,andshesureasshit

wouldhavemindedifI’dwantedtohangoutwiththeguysinsteadofspending

timewithher.Andsheneverwouldhaveeatenaconcession-standpretzel.

Still,thatwasthegirlI’dthoughtIwantedtomarry.I’dhadtheringand

everything.Infact,Istillhadit,tuckedawayinadraweralongwiththenoteshe’d

leftbehind.

ButCharlottewasn’tSarah.Thiswasatotallydifferentsituationandwould

haveatotallydifferentoutcome.

Iraisedahandtoputanendtothedebate.“I’mwithCaseonthisone.Why

don’twejusthavesomebeersandcoolitwithallthegirltalk?Thatwasahellof

agametonight,afterall.”

Luckyforme,theguyssensedI’dhadenough,andturnedthesubjectto

tonight’sgame.Theydissectedeachoftheplaysandwentoverthestatsofthestar

athletesforeachteam.TheStallions,weallagreed,woulddobetternextweek.

AlthoughItriedtoimmersemyselfinthestatsandreasoningforeveryplay,I

stillfoundmyselfthinkingofCharlotte,andabouthowIwouldfeelwhen,two

daysfromnow,sheclimbedintohercarandgotbacktoherlife.Iwantedherto

rememberme,evenifwecouldn’tbetogether.Totakeapieceofmewithher

whenshewent.

IfIwerebeinghonest,Iwantedhertoleaveapieceofherselfbehindtoo.

SomethingformetorememberandholdontowhenIthoughtaboutwhatcould

havebeenbetweenus.

Youknow...ifweweren’ttotallywrongforeachother.

ChapterFourteen

Charlotte

Lukedidn’twakemeonSaturdaymorning,andneitherdidthebright,glittery

sunshinethatpouredthroughthewindowsofhisbedroom.Instead,thephonethatI

hadfallenasleepbesidebuzzedsoclosetomyfacethatIshotboltupright,my

heartracingasIfranticallyglancedaround.

Iclutchedmychest,thenletoutadeepbreathandgrabbedforthedamned

thing,checkingtomakesureIhadn’tdisturbedLuke.Butno,hesleptonlikealog,

snoringgentlywithhismouthhalfwayopen.

Ireachedtowardhim,temptedtobrushbackatuftofhismussedhair,butthen

myphonebuzzedagainandheshifted,swattingitawayfromhimashesnuggled

deeperintothesheets.

Reachingquickly,Igrabbedthephonejustbeforeittippedovertheedgeofthe

bed,thenglanceddownattheflashingscreen.Ihadsomanymissedcallsand

follow-upvoicemailsthataknotformedinmystomachatthesheernumberalone.

Breathingdeeplythroughmynose,Ieasedfromthebedandtiptoedoutofthe

room,carefultoclosethedoorquietlybehindmebeforeedgingmywayintothe

kitchenandopeningthedreadedscreen.

Okay,allIhadtodowaslookatthelastfivecalls.Thatwasit.IfIwantedto

listentothem,Iwould.Ifnot?Theycouldwaitforanotherday.

Withanotherdeepbreath,Isuckedinmycheeksandscannedthelistofnames.

Mom.

Dad.

Valentina.

AnumberIdidn’trecognize.

Prescott.

Ididadouble-takeatthelastname,hatingthelittleheartemojithatstill

lingeredbesidehisnameinmycontactlist,anddeletedthemessagewithout

listening.Okay,thatwasonedecisiondown.AllIhadtodonowwasdecideon

therest.

Bettertostartsoft,right?Crawlbeforeyourun?

ItappedValentina’snameandheldthephonetomyear.

“Charlotte,hey.Justcallingtoseewhatthedealiswiththecarandthe

townandeverything.Ihopeyou’reontheroad.Can’twaittoseeyou!”She

madeahappylittlescreechingnoise,andthenthemessageclickedoff.

Okay,thatwasn’tsobad.Iglancedatthelistagainandchosemynextpoison

—thenumberIdidn’trecognize.Evenabillcollectororheavybreatherwould

likelybebetterthanamessagefrommymother.

“Ms.Freemont,thisisDr.Maloney.I’msorrytobecallingyououtofthe

bluelikethis,butyourparentstoldmethattheremightbesomecausefor

concern.Couldyoupleasecallmebackandletmeknowifyou’reallright,and

whereyouare?Yourparentsareveryworried,andIwouldliketogetyouthe

helpyouneedanddeserve.”Helefthisnumberandthenhungup.

Istaredatthephone,blinkingatitlikeithadslappedme.

Wasthata...psychiatrist?Didtheythink,justbecauseIdidn’twanttomarry

Prescottorstickaroundintheirplasticlittleworld,thatIwashavingsomekindof

mentalbreakdown?

Butthen,IhadfledthescenewithoutawordandheadedforCalifornia.That

wouldworryanyparent,Iwassure.Evenifmymom’sBotoxedfacewasno

longercapableofexpressingemotion,surelytherewasaheartleftrattling

somewhereinthatimpossiblynarrowchestcavityofhers.

Conflicted,Iclickedonthenextmessageandlistened.

“Charlotte,darling,it’sme.”Mymom’svoicefloatedovertheline,airyand

light,asifshewerecallingtoseeifIwasavailableforteathisafternoon.“I

knowyoumustbeinastaterightnow.Youprobablythinkyou’veruined

everything,andIwon’tlie.Itisalittletougharoundtheclub,”shesaidwitha

cluckofhertonguethatsetmyteethonedge.“Butyouhavetorememberother

girlshavestillmadeworsemistakes.RememberwhenNinaWeiss’sdaughter

ranawayandelopedwiththatboyshemetonthesubway,ofallplaces?

Anyway,whatI’msayingiscomehome.PrescottandDaddywillforgiveyou.

Justcomehomeandforgetthismomentarylapse.”

ThemessageendedandIlookeddownatthephoneagain.Shehadn’taskedif

Iwasokay—hadn’tevenaskedwhereIwas.Though,ofcourse,Iknewwhy.

Itdidn’tmatter.Oritwouldn’tuntilIwasexactlywheretheytoldmetobe.

“Well,bettermaketheroundsofit,”Imumbledandheldupthephonetolisten

tomydad’smessage.

Therewasalongmomentofsilence,thenthesoundofmenlaughingandthe

clickingofglassesfollowedbylowchatter.Someonesaidsomethingthatwastoo

muffledtomakeout,andDadrepliedinaboomingvoice,“SothenDuffsays,you

thinkthat’sbad,youshouldseetheotherguy!”Morelaughterfollowed,andI

clickedthemessageoffwithoutwaitingtoheartheotherforty-threeseconds.

Myfatherhadbutt-dialedme.Asfarasheknew,Iwasmissingand

heartbroken,andhewasoutsomewheredrinkingandlaughingwithhisbuddies,

tellingtiredoldstories?

Isetmyjaw,tryingtoignorethesting,andscrolleddowntofindanother

messagefrommymother.Iclickedonitmoreoutofrighteousangerthaninterest,

andwhenhervoicefloatedoverthelineagain,Igrittedmyteeth,waitingforher

toaskmethistimewhereIwas,orifIwasokay.

“Charlotte,honey,it’smeagain.IwantedyoutoknowI’vepaideveryone

fromthereceptionandthat’sallhandled.I’vealsoarrangedforyoutoseea

fewdoctors,sotheyshouldbecallingyouinshortorder.Ihopetoseeyou

soon.”

Shehopedtoseemesoon?Thatwasit?

NoIloveyou?

Nonothing?

Mymother’sonlyconcernwasforhercheckbook—andherimage.Andthat

wasexactlywhyI’descaped—andexactlywhyIhadn’ttoldLukeaboutmypast.I

didn’twanthimbelievingIwassomesillysocietygirlwhoonlycaredaboutthe

labelstitchedintoherclothesorthenumberofzeroesinherbankaccount.I

wasn’tlikethem.Iwasn’t.AndeventhoughIknewthatIshouldn’thaveliedto

LukewhenheaskedmeaboutPrescott,Ijustwantedsobadlytobelievethatallof

thatwasbehindme,andneverspeakofitagain.

Islammedmyphoneonthekitchentableandhuffedoutasigh,blinkingback

angry,frustratedtears.

Iwasjustabouttoslamitagain,justforthesatisfactionofit,whenadeep

malevoicebehindmemademejump.

“Earlytobed,earlytorise,Iguess,”Lukemurmured,loopinghisarmsaround

meandpullingmebackagainsthischest.

Icouldfeelthelong,rigidoutlineofhiscockagainstmyass.Itwasamazing

howjustthefeelofhisheatedskincouldmellowthefuryinmychestwhile

unfurlingawholeotherkindofheatinsideme.

“Whatwasallthatabout?”Henoddedtowardmyphone,andIshookmyhead.

“Nothing.Checkingforwordaboutthecar.”Thelieswerecomingquickerand

easier,andIhatedmyselfforthat,buttherewasnosenseindragginghimintomy

dramawhenIwasleavingintwodays.

“I’mguessingit’snotreadybythatreaction.Ihatetosayit,butIwouldn’t

holdyourbreathonhearingaboutthatanytimesoon.”

“Iknow,Iknow.It’sSaturday,soWayne’sdrunk.”Irolledmyeyes.“Itdoesn’t

takelongtolearntheinsandoutsofaplacelikethis.”

Hestiffenedandpaused,stillintheprocessofnuzzlingmyhair.“Something

wrongwiththat?”

Iwantedtobitemytongueoff.“Notatall,”Isaid,shakingmyhead.“What

doesSaturdaynormallylooklikeforyou?”

“Whenthere’sabeautifulwomaninmyhouse,Itendnottoleavethebed.

EspeciallysinceshewasasleepwhenIgothomelastnight.”Helacedhisfingers

withmineandspunmearoundtofacehim.“Whatdoyousay,beautiful?Wantto

gogetdirtytogether?”

“I’dsaythatwouldbeperfect,”Imurmuredasheleanedintokissme,butI

putmyfingeronhislips,callingoneverybitofmywillpowertoholdhimin

place.“Ifwedidn’thavesomuchworktodo.Yousaidyouwantedmyhelp,andI

wanttohelpyou.Nowtellme,wheredoyouworkbest?”

Withalong-sufferingsighandthepromiseofarewardwhenweweredone,

LukearrangedallthepapersandformsIneededonhisdiningroomtable,andI

settledintowork.Forthenextcoupleofhours,weporedoverthepapersand

drewoutdesigns.

Whenthemorningbecametheafternoon,Lukedisappearedintothekitchento

makeussandwiches,leavingmealonetotakeabreak.Ifoundmyselfglancing

aroundhishouse,stillsortofpinchingmyselfthatIwasthere.

Itreallywasasweetlittleplace—brightandcheerywithallthehomey

touchesIwouldneverhaveexpectedinabachelorpad.Itwasahousebuiltfora

family,andasIstaredaroundthetable,IpicturedtinylittleLukessittinginthose

emptychairs,alljoininghandsandsayinggracebeforetheirSundaymeal.

Itwaslikeafantasyfamilylife,certainlynotanythingI’dgrownupwith,and

forthefirsttimeIfeltalittleenviousofLuke.Hisparentsweregonebuthestill

hadDukeandMolly,andthelegacyofthatearlyfamilylifewouldalwaysbewith

them.Theycouldallstillsitaroundthistable,andifhewentmissing...

Well,therewasnodoubtthatoneofhislovedoneswouldatleastaskwhere

hewas.

MyheartgaveasqueezeandIgnawedonmylowerlip,tryingtopushthe

thoughtsofmyfamilyfrommymind.Luckily,Lukereappearedafewsecondslater

andsataturkeysandwichinfrontofme,thecrustscutoffandthesandwichitself

cutintofourperfecttriangles.

Ilaughed,mymelancholyevaporatingunderthewarmthofhisboyishgrin.

“Wow,gourmet.”

“Onlythebestforyou,citygirl.”

Therewasnomaliceinhiswords,though,andIpickedupthesandwichand

bitin.Ithadbeenyearssincesomeonehadmademeasandwichlikethis,but

therewasnodenyingthesimplegoodness.

Hetookaseatacrossfrommeandduginaswetalked.Hetoldstoriesabout

hisfriendsandthebusiness,andaboutDukeandMolly.Suddenly,theimageofall

ofussittingaroundthetablebecameevenclearerinmymind,andIgotso

wrappedupintheflowofconversationthatIfoundmyselfspeakingbeforeI

stoppedtothink.

“Whatdoyouthinktheoddsareofyourwifehavingtwinslikeyouand

Duke?”Iasked,takingahastybiteofmysandwichtodistractfrommyreddening

face.

OhLord,I’dreallydoneitnow.HewasgoingtothinkIwassomesortof

loonystalker,namingourtwinsafterwhatamountedtonothingmorethanalittle

fling.

Heshotmeaquizzicalglance.“Idon’tknow.Whydoyouask?”

“Noreasonatall,”Isaidbrightly,shakingmyhead.“Ijustfeelbadforherand

hervagandall.Probablyroughontheoldgirl,squeezingoutdoubles,you

know?”

Lukelaughedandthengroaned.“OhmyGod,thatwasfunnyuntilIhadtothink

ofitintermsofmyownmom,sothanksforthat.”

Itwasbetterthanthealternative,soIsweptmyarmoutandexecutedalittle

halfbow.“You’requitewelcome.Andthere’splentymorewherethatcamefrom.

I’llbehereallweekend.”

Takingadvantageofthereprievefrompurehumiliation,Iquicklyshifted

gears,steeringtheconversationbacktowardthesafetyofworkagain.

Butthen,asweworkedandtalked,Luke’schairseemedtoinchcloserand

closertomine.Asafternoonturnedintoevening,thesunthathadshonethroughthe

widewindowswasreplacedwithtwinklingstars,andIlostfocusofeverything.

Everything...exceptexactlyhowclosehewassitting.Howitwouldtake

nothingatallforhimtoclosethespacebetweenus,slideourpaperstothefloor,

andsplaymeoutonthediningroomtablerightthenandthere.

MycheeksheatedasIimaginedhimspreadingmylegsopen,histonguelaving

methewayhehadinthefieldthatfirstnight.Warmthspreadthroughmybodyat

thethoughtalone,andIsqueezedmythighstogether,notwantingtogiveintothe

swellofneedandlonging.Notyet,anyway.

“Don’tyouthink?”Lukeasked.

Iforcedmyselfbacktothepresentandnoddedmyheadvigorously.“Oh,um,

yeah.Yes.Definitely.”

Heleanedacrossmetowritesomethingonthefileinfrontofme.Hisearthy,

manlysmellwaftedupashemovedandIbreathedindeeply,rememberingthe

waythatscenthadtastedonhisskin.Withhissun-kissedhairinfrontofme,it

wasallIcoulddonottoreachoutandrunmyfingersthroughhislocks,butagainI

refrained.

We’retalkingbusiness.Tonightisaboutbusiness.

Mystomachrumbled,andIglancedathimfromthecornerofmyeye.

“Hungry?”heasked,andInodded.“Whatareyouinthemoodfor?”

Whenhesmiledatme,Iwantedtoblurtouttheanswer,therealanswer—him.

Maplesyrup.Whippedcream.Whateverhewouldletmedo,justsolongasI

couldfeelhisbodyonmineagain.

Hewasjustsodamnclose.

“Idon’tknow,”Imurmured,andheshrugged.

“Thinkitover.”

Inoddedagainandhescootedhischairevencloser,hiskneebrushingagainst

mineashemoved.Anothershotofpureelectricityjoltedthroughmeathistouch.

Whatwasitwithhim?Itwasn’tlikeI’dneverbeenwithmenbefore,butnow

everytimeIthoughtabouthisfingersonmybody,Ifoundmyselfpantingand

needylikeneverbefore.

Ihadtogetittogether—andfast.NotjustbecauseIwassurehecouldseethe

waymyeyesdilatedandfixedonhislipseverytimehespoke,butbecause...

well,tomorrowwasSunday.Weonlyhadonemoredaytogether,andifIgotused

tofeelinglikethiseverytimeIwasaroundhim,whatwouldIdowhenIwas

gone?WhenIfinallyhadtoleave?

“So,Iwasthinkingaboutthisforthelogo,”hesaidashesketchedsomething

onthepaperinfrontofme.

Focus,Itoldmyself.Focus.Youpromisedyouwouldhelphim.

ButIcouldn’t.AllIcouldthinkaboutwasthewaythetablewouldthunk

againstthehardwoodwhileheheldmyhipsandturnedmeover,readytotakeme

frombehind.

Panicfilledmeattherealizationthatthismightbethelasttimewewere

together.Iwantedtomakeitspecialand—

“So,whatdoyouthink?”heasked.

Ilookeddownatthepapertoseealittlestick-figuremanandwomanina

compromisingposition.Iletoutashortlaugh,mycheeksflushing.

“AmIthatobvious?”

Hismouthquirkedtotheside.“Somethinglikethat.Butluckily,greatminds

thinkalike.”

Hishandstrokedmythigh,workingitswaytotheinsideofmyleg,justabove

whereIcouldalreadyfeelmypantiesgettingwet.

“Iactuallyhaveabetteridea.”

Ipluckedthepencilfromhisotherhandandscribbledonthepaper,just

beneathhisdrawing.WhenIpulledmyhandback,hisgazefellontheimageofa

stick-figurewomanonherkneesinfrontofaveryhappy-lookingstick-figureman.

“Farbeitformetoargue,”hesaidandcuppedthespacebetweenmythighs,

rubbinggentlybeforecontinuing.“JustknowthatIstillwanttofuckyouafter.”

IknewDukeandMollywouldbegonealldaytolendahandtoaneighbor,

leavingustrulyandcompletelyalone.Thatfeelingmademebold,alittlereckless.

“Ifyouinsist,”Iteased,thensanktomykneesinfrontofhimashekickedout

hischairtofaceme.

Withdefthands,heloosenedthebuckleandtuggedhisbeltfree,lettingitdrop

tothefloorwithaloudclunk.Thenhereleasedthebuttonandzipperandpulled

hisjeanstohisanklesbeforekickingthemasideuntilhewasleftinnothingbuthis

blackboxerbriefs.

Already,Icouldseethehugebulgejuttingoutbeneaththefabric,andmy

mouthwateredattheideaoftastinghim.WhyhadIwaitedsolongforthis?Inthe

entireweekwe’dhad,howhadIwastedsomuchtime?Andnow,withlessthan

twodaysleft...

TomorrowIwouldhavetodoitagain,justsoIhadmorethanonememoryto

takewithme.Andthenmaybewecoulddoitintheshowerand—

ButIwasgettingaheadofmyself.Hereandnowwasabouthim,pullingdown

thoseboxerstorevealthehuge,hardcockIknewwaswaitingforme,wantingme.

Ilickedmylipsashepulledhisbriefsdownandtossedthemasidewiththerest

ofhisclothes.

“Shirttoo,”Isaid,andheraisedhiseyebrows.

“Whendidyougetsobossy?”

IstoodandturnedasifIweregoingtowalkaway.“Okay,ifyoudon’twantto

listen.”

Big,powerfulhandsgrippedmyhipsandpulledmebackagainsthismuscular

chestashewhisperedintomyear,“You’renotgoinganywhere.”

Myheartskippedabeatashegrippedthehemofmyshirtandtuggeditover

myhead.Unthinking,Ifollowedhislead,stretchingmyhandsovermyheadand

lettingmyshirtjoinhisclothingonthefloor.

“I’llshowyoumineifyoushowmeyours,”hemurmured.

Mybreathcaughtas,withtheslightesttwist,mybratightenedandthen

releasedasIallowedittofallawayfromme.

“Iwanttoseethosetitsbouncewhileyousuckmydick,”hesaid,andanother

surgeoflongingrushedbetweenmythighs.

Myheartwasbeatingsofastandthebloodwasrushingtomyearswithso

muchintensitythatIwantedtofalltomykneesinfrontofhimandsucklongand

deep.Islidfromhislapandtookmyplacebetweenhisopenknees,mythoughts

filledwithnothingbuthowhothisskinwouldfeelagainstmyhips,howamazing

hewouldsmellasIbobbedupanddown.

Hedraggedhisshirtupoverhisheadandgrinnedatme,revealingamuscular

chestandthesexiestsetofabsI’deverbeenupcloseandpersonalwith.“A

deal’sadeal.ThoughIwantyoutotakeoffthosepantstoo.You’dlooksohot

withyourkneesopen,suckingmycockandwaitingforme.”

Ishiveredalittleatthethought,butthefeistiersideofmetookover.“Notpart

ofthedeal.You’vegottowaitforthat.”

Iinchedclosertohim,takingthebaseofhisshaftinonehandwhileIcupped

hisballswiththeother.Gently,ImassagedhimwhileIworkedhimupanddown,

readyinghimforme.TherewasnowayI’dbeabletofitallofhiminmymouth—

intruth,ImightneedbothhandsjusttomakeupfortheportionofhimIwouldn’t

beabletotake—butwatchinghimasIworkedwasenoughtomakemewantto

comerightthenandthere.

Hiseyesdarkenedashewatched.Hetuckedonehandundermychintoforce

metolookintothosebrooding,hungryeyes.

“You’reatease,”hesaid,hisvoicelowandgravelly.

Itossedhimasmile.“Youwantmymouth?”

ButIdidn’twaitforhimtorespond.Ashishandmovedtograspthenapeof

myneck,Ileaneddownandtookhimintomymouth,suckinghissensitiveheadas

Irolledthetipofmytongueoverhim.HeletoutalowgroanasIworkedandtook

himdeeper,doingmybesttofitasmuchofhiminsidemymouthasIcould.

HisskinwasevenhotterthanIimagined,andashebobbedagainstthebackof

mythroat,mytongueburnedwiththesensationoflappinghim.Withalittletickof

movement,Icouldfeelhimgrowingharderstillinsidemymouth,andhegripped

thebackofmyneckwithmoreforce,urgingmetokeepup.

Allthewhile,Iworkedhimwithonehand,lovingthewayhisthighstwitched

witheverylong,deepsuck.Withhimstillinsidemymouth,Iletoutalittlemoan

ofapproval,simultaneouslylovingandhatingtheacheinmyjawthatwas

buildingwitheverypassingthrust.Mylipswerebecomingsorewithsweet,

sensitiveheat,andIknewwhenIpulledaway,theywouldbeswollenandred

frommyefforts.This,Iknew,wouldonlymakehiskissescoolerbycomparison

inthebest,mostscintillatingway.

Thatwas,ifhekissedmeatall.ForallIknew,hemightsimplybendmeover

thetableandhavehiswickedwaywithme—justlikehislittlestickfigureshad

done.

“Enough,”hegroanedashiscommandinggripdraggedmebackandaway

fromhim.“Ican’tfuckingtakeitanymore.Takeoffthosepantsandletmesee

what’smine.”

Withthedeeprumbleofhisvoice,Iknewbetterthantoargue,eventhoughI

feltbereftthesecondmylipslefthim.Standing,Iunzippedmyjeansandstepped

carefullyoutofthemuntilIwasinnothingbutabrightbluescrapoflace.Silently,

Ihookedmythumbsundertheelastic,butthenLukewasonhiskneesinfrontof

me,histeethonmypantiesashedraggedthemtothefloor.Whenherighted

himself,hekissedmebetweenmythighs,andIletoutanotherlittleshiverof

pleasure.

“Bendover,”hecommanded,andagainIfollowedhislead.

Withonehand,Isweptasidethepaperswe’dspentalldaytoilingoverand

thenbentoverthetable,carefultopullmyselfontomytiptoessohecouldgeta

nice,goodlookatwhatIknewhewantedmosttosee.

“Fuck,”hegroaned.“IwishIcouldtakeapicture.Icouldstareatyourpussy

allday,baby.”

Ishotasmileathimfromovermyshoulder.

Apparently,thatwasallittook.Withanothermutteredoath,hegrippedhimself

anddroveintomehardandfast,andIletoutalittlegasp.

Hispowerfulfingersdugintomythighs,andwithgreedy,hungrythrusts,he

bentmybodytohiswill.Withonehandonthetabletosteadyme,Ireachedthe

otherbetweenmylegsandpleasuredmyself,heighteningthesteadypushandpull

ofhisswollencockashedroveintomeharderandharderstill.

“That’sit,baby.Ilovewatchingyoutouchyourself,”herasped.

Ilookedovermyshouldertocatchaglimpseofthesteadyconcentrationinhis

eyes.Witheverythrust,hisjawtickedwithdesperateneed,andthesightofit

alonemademeletoutalittlemoanofpleasure.Ifthiswasourlasttimetogether,I

wasgoingtomakeitmemorable.Iwasgoingtomakesurewecametogether.

Workingmyselffasterstill,Iclenchedaroundhishugelength,andheletout

anotherlowgroan.

“Fuck,”hemuttered,andIpushedbackagainsthim,causinghimtotakeme

evenfasterthanbefore.

Witheverymove,hepusheddeeperinsideme.Iclosedmyeyes,savoringthe

waymyinnerwallstightened,shakingandquakingtothepointofspillingover

intoorgasm.

Iwassoclose,soclosetotheedge,andallIhadtodowas—

“Damn,Charlotte.”

Mynameonhislipswaslikethekeytoahiddenroom.Asurgeofeuphoria

rushedovermeandIgrippedthetablewithbothhands,usingittosteadymyself

astheorgasmrippedthroughmyeverycell.Mychannelclosedoverhim,gripping

andreleasinginaflurryofspasms.

“Luke,”Icried.

Hisfingersdugintomyskintothepointofpainashebuckedagainstme,

groaningandflexingashecame,butIdidn’tcare.AllIwantedwastofeelhim

lettinggo,losinghimselfinmeasIlostmyselfinhim.Havingeverything,

everythingwecouldgiveeachother.

Evenifitwasonlyforalittlewhile.

ChapterFifteen

Luke

“Shit.”Irolledoverandrubbedmyeyesbeforeglancingatthedigitalclockon

mynightstand,alltooawarethatCharlottewasstillcurlednexttome,herhair

splayedacrossmybluepillowcase.

“What?”shemumbledasshereachedforme,pullingmecloser.

“Imissedchurch.”

“Justgotoalaterservice.”

Shemovedontoherside,herwarm,nakedskinrubbingagainstmythigh.I

turnedover,hugginghercloseuntilmyrigidcockwaspressedagainsttheseamof

herass.Minxthatshewas,shewiggledagainstme,coaxingmetopinherdown

anddoallthethingsI’ddonetoherlastnightoverandoveragain.

“Thereisnootherservice.Theministerisprobablyalreadywithhisfamily

fortheday.”

“What,togoandaskforconfessionorsomething?”Sheyawnedandsnuggled

againstmychest.

“Catholicshaveconfession.NotBaptists.”

Sheshrugged.“Potato,tomato.”

“Notthesaying.Now,comeon.”Iflippedthecoversfromoverherandshe

yankedthembackupagain—althoughnotbeforeIcaughtsightofhercreamyskin

andfullbreasts.

“What?I’mnotgoinganywhere.It’ssleepytime.”

Shepulledthecoversoverherhead,andIwalkedaroundtohersideofthe

bed,kissingthelumponthecomforterwhereIknewherheadwashidden.

“Wemissedtheservice,butwestillhaveSundaylunchwithMollyandDuke.

Ifwedon’tshowup,they’llcometocheckonus.Anddoyouwantthemfinding

youlikethis?”

Herblueeyespeekedoutfromtheedgeofthecomforter.“Maybe.”She

reachedoutfrombeneathitandranafingerupthelengthofmythigh,temptingme

frommykneetotheinsideofmyleg,andthenhigher...

Mycockgaveagratifiedtwitch,andforamomentIpicturedherleaning

forwardtotakemeinhermouthagain,hermorninghairstilltousledasshemoved

herheadupanddownandworkedmeover.

“Youlikeme,”sheteased,smilingasmycocktwitchedatthementalimage.

Isteppedawayfromherandpointedtowhereshe’dlefthersuitcase.

“Comeonandgetdressed.WecantalkabouthowmuchIlikeyoulater.”

IheadedformydresserbeforeIcouldseeherpout—anotherreminderofhow

fullandlusciousthoselipsofherswere—andmadequickworkofdressing.

PullingmyoldStallionsballcapovermyheadafewminuteslater,Iturnedand

foundheralldolledupinaprettylavendersundressthatshowedoffherslender

curves.

“Youlookincredible.”

ShegrinnedatmeandItookherhand,readytopullhertothetruck,butbefore

Idid,shequicklyliftedthehemofherdress,flashingme.

Iblinkedinsurprise,mybrainstutteringtoadeadstop.“Areyou...”

Sheshookherhead.“Nope.Notwearingpanties.Youknow,incaseyou

changeyourmindonthewaythere.”

Hot.Damn.Thiswomanwouldbethedeathofme.

Throwingherontothebed,Idecideditwouldbebesttotakealittledetour

beforehittingtheroad.

•••

Halfanhourlater,whenwewerebothsatedandherhairwasmoremussedthan

before,wejumpedintothetruckandhightailedittoWhattheCluck.Duke’s

pickupwasalreadyintheparkinglot,andwepulledupbesideit.

MollyandDukewerewaitingforusinside,thetablealreadyladenwithour

regularorderoffriedchicken,greenbeans,andbiscuits.WhenIwalkedthrough

thedoor,mysistergavemethekindofknowinglookthatmademycheekswarm.

Ifshe’dbeenthere,shewouldhaveknowntherewasnothingIcoulddo,

though.NotwhenIhadCharlottesocloseandwilling,sanspanties.

Notwhenourtimewasalmostup.

Atleastwe’dshownupforlunchdespitewhatwecouldbedoing.Churchwas

important,butfamilywasmyreligion.

CharlotteandIsatonthebenchoppositemysiblings,andMollygrinnedatus

beforeofferingustheplatesshe’dalreadydishedoutforus.

“Howwaschurch?”Charlotteaskedbrightly.

“Itwaswonderful.Thesermonwasaboutforgiveness,”Mollysaid,eyeing

me.

“Thenyouwon’tmindthatwe’relate,”Ishotback,andMollyshotmeanother

cuttinglook.

Dukejustlaughed.“Wemight,butIdon’tthinkMr.andMrs.Frenchwill.”He

noddedtowardtheoldercouplesittinginthecorneroftheroomwiththereverend

andhiswife.

“Myabsencewasnoted?”Iraisedmyeyebrows.

Dukeshrugged.“YouknowhowMrs.Frenchis.”

“Idon’t,”Charlottesaid,andIwinced,wishingmybrotherwouldstuffasock

init.

“Mr.andMrs.Frenchfeelstronglythattheirgranddaughterneedstomarrya

niceboyfromagoodfamily,”Dukeexplained.

“AndsinceeveryoneknowsDukeisn’tthemarryingtype—”Mollyadded.

“Hey,hey,hey.”Dukehelduphishands.“Itried,ifyourecall.”

“WithDanaFrench?”Mollyrolledhereyes.“Goodmove.Nochanceinhell.”

“Whynot?”Charlotteasked.

“She’smoreLuke’stype,”Dukesaid,andwhenCharlotteraisedher

eyebrows,Mollyrushedintoexplain.

“TheFrenchesjustwantsomeonewhoisn’tgoingtoleaveShadyGrove.

They’reveryclosewithDana,especiallynowthatherfatherpassed.”

“Isee.”Charlottenodded.“AndwhatdoyouthinkofDana?”sheaskedme.

Iglancedfrommybrothertomysister,notsurewhowasmoredeservingof

myglare.“Ihardlyknowher.”

“Unlessyoucounteveryyearofschoolfromkindergartentosenioryearof

highschool,”Dukesaid.

“Thatdoesn’tmeanIknowher,”Iinsisted.“Shewasinmyclasses,butIcan’t

sayIeverreallytalkedtoher.”

Charlottelaughed.“It’sokay,Luke.Thisisn’tatrial.IsDanapretty?”

Ifrowned.WhydidCharlotteevenwanttohearaboutwhatIthoughtof

anotherwoman?Shewasleavingandthiswasalltemporary,butontheotherhand

—

She’dsharedmybedwithme.Hadbeenwithmeunderthebleachers.

Shouldn’tsomedeeper,animalpartofherbesomewhatjealous?Itriedtoimagine

myselfinhershoes,andrealizedthethoughtofanotherguytouchinghermademe

wanttopunchaholethroughthefuckingwall.

WhenItoldCharlotte,“Notasprettyasyou,”sheturnedherattentiontoher

chicken,eatingwithevenmoregustothanshehadwithherpretzelafterthe

footballgame.

“Mighthavetoordersecondsifyou’regoingtowolfitdownlikethat,”Duke

teased,andshegrinned.

“Theydon’tmakeitlikethiswhereI’mfrom.Sogood.I’mtryingtopreserve

thememoryofthewaythistastes.”Inaflash,shewhippedoutherphoneandtook

apictureofthehalf-emptyplate,completewiththeorange-and-whiteWhatthe

Cluckwaxpaperunderneath.

“Hashtagtoogoodnottoeat,”shemurmuredtoherselfasshescrolledthrough

thefilters.

Ilaughed,thentookabiteofmyownchickenjustintimeforittoturntodirtin

mymouthasIlookeduptofindWaynewaswalkingtowardus,hishandsladen

withcarryoutbags.HestoppedatourtableandgrinneddownatCharlotte.

“Oh.Hey,Wayne,”shesaidwithapolitehalfsmile.

“Hey.”Heliftedthebagsalittle.“Iwasgonnacallyou,wantedtoletyou

knowyourcarshouldbeallsetaroundnoontomorrow.Wheneveryou’rereadyto

pickitupafter,you’llbegoodtogo.”

Istudiedherface,butitremainedimpassiveasshenodded.

“Okay,great.Thanksagainforyourhelp.”

WhenWaynewinkedandheadedforthedoor,Ipushedmyplateaway,

suddenlynothungryanymore.Iknewtherewasanexpirationdateonmytimewith

Charlotte—I’dremindedmyselfofthatmoretimesthanIcouldcount.Butnow

thatIknewtherealtimeline...nowthatIknewtonightwasdefinitelyourlast

nighttogether?

Itallfeltdifferent.

Wrong,somehow.

Acombinationofdread,doom,anddespairmingledinmystomach.Ilooked

uptocatchDukeandMollyexchangingconcernedglances,sothisfactwasn’tlost

onthem,butCharlottecontinuedtopickawayatherfood,seeminglyoblivious.

Wasitjustme?Didn’tshefeelittoo?

Thethoughtthatthisstrangesenseofgriefwasone-sidedmademytemples

throb.

“Iguessyourgoing-awaypartyisgoingtohavetobetonightthen,”Molly

said.

Charlottelaughed.“Goingawayparty?I’veonlybeenhereaweek.”

“Andeverydayhasbeenbetterthanthelast.Comeon,youcan’tsayno.”

Mollygrabbedabiscuitandtookabigbite.

“ThenIwon’t.”CharlottegrinnedfromMollytome,andIfeignedasmilein

return.“Afterall,itcouldbefun.”

“Absolutely,”Iagreedwithalittletoomuchgusto.“Couldbethebestnightof

ourlives.”

Thatseemedaboutright.Sortoflikethewayadeathrowinmate’slastmeal

wasthemostdeliciousone.

ChapterSixteen

Charlotte

Acoupleofhourslater,LukeandIsplashedhandinhandthroughanunexpected

rainshowerandmadeitinsidethebarjustintimetoseethatwhenMollysaid

“party,”shewassonotkidding.

Abuffetwassetupinthecorneroftheroom,andthehonky-tonk’snormal

fluorescentlightshadbeendimmedtomakewayfortheflashingTechnicolor

discoballnowhangingfromtheceiling.SheandDukeweresittinginthecorner

oftheroom,waitingforus,itseemed.

EveryoneI’dseenormetinShadyGrovewascrowdedaroundthebar,and

evenafewpeopleIhadn’tmetyetweredancingorclusteredaroundthetables,

talkingtooneanother.

LukeandIlaughedasDukepretendedtobeaffrontedatourlatearrival,and

thenIletoutalowwhistleasItookintheroomagain.

“Howdidyoumanageit?Thismustbethewholetown,”Isaidinamazement.

Mollylaughed.“Justabout.Peoplearoundthesepartsloveaparty.EvenDana

Frenchishere,”shesaidwithawink.

“Don’tIknowit.”Dukegrimacedathisbrother.“Mrs.FrenchthoughtIwas

youandtriedtogetmetodancewithher.”

IfollowedhisgazeuntilIcaughtsightofthegirlwhohadtobeDana.Shewas

prettyandpetite,withasprinkleoffrecklesoverherlong,thinnose.Downher

back,sheworeathickbrownplaitthatwastiedwithabrightredponytailholder.

“Classy,”Isaid.“Herponytailmatchesherdress.”IknewIsoundedbitchy,

butdamnedifIcouldhelpit.Shewasadorable,andIhatedheronsight.

That’salie.I’dhatedherfromthesecondthey’dmentionedheratthechicken

place.Itwaspettyandsmallandsilly,butthereitwas.

Mollysmirked.“Someone’sjealous.”

“Asif.”Irolledmyeyes,butIturnedsoMollycouldn’tseethenauseaonmy

face.Thispartywassuperniceofhertodoforme,andIwasn’tabouttobean

ungratefulbratforanyreason.

ImademywayontothedancefloorandgiggledwithMollyuntilLuke

appearedatmyside,adrinkinhand.

Iraisedmyeyebrows.“What’sup,cowboy?”

“Ithoughtweshouldtoast.Ifollowedyouradvice.”

IstoppeddancingandlookedupathimasMollywanderedawaywhena

friendcalledherover.Luke’sgreeneyesblazedwithaproudlightI’dneverseen

therebefore.

“What’sup?”Iasked.

“IfollowedyouradviceandstruckadealwithAmos,theownerofthebar.

Wilderisnowtheircraftwhiskey,andweworkedtogethertocomeupwitha

signaturecocktail.Iwantyoutotasteit.”

Whenheheldtheglassouttomeagain,Itookitandsippedslowly,thenheld

myhandtomylips.Itwasbeyonddelicious—sweetandmildinallthebestways,

butalsodarkandsmokywithoutbeingtooheavy.Therewasahintoffruitanda

splashofsomethingthatcoatedthebackofmythroatwithaslow,silkyburn,

whichmademewantmore.

“OhmyGod,”Imurmured.“Didyoucomeupwiththis?”

Henodded.

“What’sinit?”

“IfItellyou,I’dhavetokillyou,”hesaidwithawink,andIrolledmyeyes.

“Butit’ssortoflikeablackberryold-fashioned.Amixofsomethingnewand

slick,andsomethingclassicandtraditional.”

Whenhegavemeameaningfullook,Itookanothersip,savoringthesweet

burnofthewhiskey.“I’veneverhadanythingbetter.”

Foronce,Iwasn’tsureifIwasstilltalkingaboutthewhiskeyorifitwas

somethingmore,ifitwasallaboutthisweekherewithhimandthesepeoplewho

surroundedme.ThepeoplewhocaredsodeeplyabouttheWildersthatthey’d

gatheredforapersontheybarelyknew,justbecauseitmeantsomethingtotheir

neighbor.

Therewasalottobesaidaboutsmalltowns,andthatwasoneofthem.Maybe

Lukewasconstantlybeingsetupwithwomen.Maybeeveryonekneweveryone

else’sbusiness.Buttheywerethereforeachother.Ifsomethinghappenedor

someonedidsomethingspecial,therewasneveralackofpeopletherewho

wantedtohelportocelebrate.

Ithoughtofmyphonethathadonlyrungoncemoreinthepastcoupleofdays,

andeventhatcallhadbeenfromadoctorIdidn’tknow.Melancholyswept

throughmeatthatdepressingthought.

Lukenoddedtowardmyglass.“We’recallingthedrinkaLittleWilder.”

Ismiledathim,pushingasidemysadness.Thiswasanamazingdayforhim,

andIcouldn’tbehappiertobepartofit.“Perfect.Absolutelyperfect.”

Itookanotherswigandthenpassedtheglassforhimtoshare,buthedowned

itinoneswallowandheldouthishandforme.WhenItookit,hedraggedmeonto

thedancefloorjustasthemusicslowedandbeganadeep,slowlullaby.

BeinginLuke’sarms,Iletmyselfmeltintohim.WhenWaynehadstoppedby

therestaurantearlier,I’dbeenfilledwithsuchasenseofdreadthatIhadtoforce

myattentiononmyplatesoLukewouldn’tseehowwreckedIwas.Hedidn’tsay

athing.

Hespunmeonce,twice,thenpulledmeclose,whisperingagainstmyhair.

“It’sbeenonehellofaweek,duchess.I’llbesorrytoseeyougo.”

“Thendon’t.”

Iwasn’tsurewhatmademesayit,butLukestilledandpulledback,hishand

cuppedundermychin.

“Askmetostay,”Iwhispered.

I’dnevermeantanythingmoreinmylife,butLukelookedatmelikeI’djust

calledhimafilthyword.

“Ithoughtyoudidn’tneedamantellingyouwhattodo.”

Confused,Istaredathim,notsurewhathewastalkingabout.Ittookamoment

forthememorytoresurface,andwhenitdid,itstungmeaskeenlyasifhe’d

slappedmeacrosstheface.

“What?You’retooproudtoaskme?”Iasked.

“Ishouldn’thaveto.Comeon,duchess,bereasonable.”

“Bereasonable?”Iblinked,suddenlyawarethattheburninthebackofmy

throatwasn’twhiskeyanymore,butthefirstsignofawaveoftears.

“I’mnotaskingyoutostay.Youshouldstayonlyifyouwantto.”

Hesaiditsomatter-of-factlythatIblinkedagain,waitingfortherestofhis

explanation,butitdidn’tcome.Instead,hejuststaredatme.

Stunned,Inoddedslowly.“Rogerthat.”

Isteppedawayfromhimandslippedawaythroughthecrowd,glancingbriefly

towardDukeandMollytomakesuretheyweretoopreoccupiedtonoticewhenI

slippedoutthedoorandintotheeveningair.

SoLukedidn’twantmetostay?Fine.Thatwasperfect.Ormaybehewasjust

toostubborntoaskme.Eitherway,itdidn’tmatter.Iwasn’tgoingtouprootmy

wholelifeforamanwhocouldn’tmutterafewsimplewords.Ideservedmore

thanthat.

Lightningcracked,followedbyaslowrumbleofthunder,andIliftedmyface

totheraininhopesthatitwouldhidemytears.

I’dstupidlyputmyselfonthelineandbeenshotdown.Swallowingasob,I

glancedbackatthebarbeforeIbrokeintoajog,thankfulI’dwornmyflats.

Cometomorrowafternoon,I’dbelong,longgone.

Andapparently?ThatwasthewayLukewantedit.

ChapterSeventeen

Luke

WhenIgothomealittlewhilelater,thehousewasdarkandempty,filledwith

nothingbutthesoundofraintappingagainstthewindowsillandtheoccasional

rumbleofthundertearingthroughthehotTexasnight.

Tobehonest,Iwasn’tsurewhatI’dexpected.MaybethatCharlottehad

waitedformetheentirehoursinceshe’dleft,areadinglightperchedoverher

headinmylivingroomasshepretendedtoreadbutstaredatthefrontdoor.

Ilaughedatmyselfforeventhinkingsuchastupidthought.Ofcourse,she

hadn’tdonethat.AgirllikeCharlottewasn’tthetypetositaroundandwaitfora

guy,evenifI’daskedherto.

ShewaslikeSarah—she’dtakeaction,dowhatsheneededtoinorderto

survive.

Andthistime?Apparently,thatmeantpackinguphershitandgettingthehell

outofmyhousebeforeIcouldevenwalkthroughthedoortotrytostopher.

Which,ofcourse,Ialsocouldn’tblameherfor.

Fuck,IwouldhavegottenthehelloutofDodgeifIwerehertoo.But,damnit,

whydidIalwayshavetobetheonetobeg?Whycouldn’tshestayjustbecause

shewantedto?

Withadeepbreath,Imadeforthesmallmakeshiftbarinthecornerofthe

livingroom.ThereIgrabbedthenewestbottleofwhiskeyandpouredmyselfa

glass.

IthadbeenrainingthenightSarahlefttoo,thoughthathadbeenaflashof

summerrain.Tonightwasdifferent.Itwaswildandtorrential,fatdroplets

spatteringthedustygroundandturningitintoamudslick.

Haditrainedthemorningourmotherhadleft?

Itfeltlikeitwaspossible.

Iswiggedmywhiskey,thenthoughtagainofthelookonCharlotte’sfacewhen

she’dtastedthedrinkI’dconcocted.Itwaslikeshe’dlitup,sobrightand

animated.WhenwasthelasttimeI’dseenafacelikethat—ofsomeonewho

believedinmesomuch?Someonewhowasn’tDukeorMolly?

Thatcertainlyhadn’tbeenSarah’sexpressionwhenI’dtoldheraboutgoing

backtothedistillery.

“Yourfather?Whatthehellhasheeverdoneforyou?Youneedtostop

worryingaboutallthatandfocusonus.”

Sarahhadbelievedinherdream,butnotmine.Andintheend,wasn’tthat

whathadmadehergo?AndwithMom,wasn’tithernotbelievinginDadthathad

madeherleave?

Logically,theirchoiceshadnothingtodowithmeormydad.Buthowitfelt

...

Howitfelthadnothingtodowithlogic.

Itookanotherpullfrommyglassandsatitonastoolbeforeclosingmyeyes

andpinchingthebridgeofmynose.Again,withmyeyesclosedtotheworld,I

sawnothingbutCharlottebeamingbackatme,holdingthedrinkshe’dbeenthe

inspirationfor,evenifshedidn’tknowit.

CouldIreallythrowallthataway?CouldIlethergetintohercartomorrow

anddriveoutofmylifeforeverwithouteventellingherhowIfelt?

ItookanothersipandshookmyheadasIwassurroundedbysuddenand

completedarkness.Aflashoflightfilledtheairaslightningcrackedagain,

followedquicklybyaslapofthunder.

“Damnpoweroutage,”Imumbled,butthenIthoughtofCharlottealoneinher

roomattheinn,probablysittingindarknesswithoutanycandles.

Ioughttogocheckonher.

Iwouldn’taskhertostay.HowcouldI?EventhoughshebelievedinmeandI

caredforher,I’donlyknownherforaweek.ButIcouldtellherhowmuchI

wisheditcouldbedifferent.AndIcouldtellherhowmuchI’denjoyedher

company.Andthenmaybeshe’ddecideshewantedtostay.

WhatIknewforsurewasthatIcouldn’tletthingsendlikethis.

GrabbingafewoftheemergencycandlesIkeptinmyfoyercloset,Iheaded

forthetruckandmadequickworkofdrivingthroughtheonslaughtofrain.Theinn

wasn’tfarfrommyplace,andbeforeIknewit,Iwasparkedinfrontofthe

familiarVictorianhouseasitwaslitupbyanotherflashoflightning.

Quickly,Isnatchedupthecandlesandsprintedinside,stoppingonlytoask

Opal,theinnkeeper,forCharlotte’snewroomnumberbeforeIboundedupstairs.

WhenIhammeredonthedoor,Iheardhersqueakinsurprise.

“Charlotte?It’sme.CanIcomein?”

“No,”shemurmured,hervoicesoundinghuskyandquiet.

“Comeon.Ithastobedarkinthere,andIbroughtcandles.Justletmeknow

you’reokay.”

ThedoorswungopenandCharlotte’sfaceappeared,litbythesoftglowofa

candlesheheldbelowherface.“Opalgavemeonewhenthepowerwentout.

Honestly,howhelplessdoyouthinkIam?”

Iopenedmymouthandthenclosedit.

“Look,”Charlotteblurted,“youmadeyourselfperfectlyclear.Youdon’twant

metostayandthat’sokay,butIdon’treallywanttobeatthistodeath,youknow?I

feelkindofstupidforevenmentioningit,and—”

“Don’t.Pleasedon’tfeelstupid.Ihadanamazingtimewithyou.It’sjust—”

Icranedmyneck,acutelyawarethatOpalhadn’tmadeapeepinallthetime

we’dbeentalking,butwasclearlyabletohearusfromdownthehall.I’dbet

moneyshewaspoisedatthefootofthestairs,listening.

“Canyouletmeinsowecantalkprivately?”

Charlotteblewoutabreathandsteppedasidetoallowmein.Bythelightof

hercandle,Icouldseethathereyesweregleamingwithtears,andIfeltlikea

totalshit.

Ipacedthefloor,thenputthecandlesonthedresserbeforeturningtofaceher.

“Look,I’mnotgoingtoaskyoutostay.Imadethatmistakebeforeanditdidn’t

workoutsowellforme,butitalsocould’veworkedoutwayworse.Evenifit

hadbeenokaywithyouandmeatfirst,eventuallyyouwould’vewoundup

resentingme,andwe’dhaveendeduphatingeachother.”

“SonowI’mSarah?”Charlotte’svoiceraisedanoctave,andIcringed.

“No,that’snotwhatI’msaying.It’sjust...I’veonlyknownyouaweek,and

webothknowyoudon’tbelonghere.”Ihatedeventhinkingit,butsayingitout

loud,Iknewitwastrue.

“Whatthehellisthatsupposedtomean?”shedemanded.

“It’snotaninsult.”Iheldupmyhands.“You’rebeautifulandcultured,and

yes,youmaythinkyouwanttostayherewithaguythatyou’veonlyknownfora

week.Butwhentimegoesonandyourealizethatyou’resickoffriedchickenand

youcan’tstandthatthere’snotadecenttheaterorshoppingmallanywhere

nearby?ShadyGroveisn’tgoingtobeenoughforyou.”

“That’snottrue.”Hervoicedroppedtoawhisper.“Youdon’tknowthat.You

don’tknowmeifyouthinkthat’sallIcareabout.”

“MaybeIdon’t.Butdon’tyouthinkthatcouldbeaproblemtoo?”

Shesuckedinadeepbreathandstaredatme.Eveninthecandlelight,Icould

seethetearsslippingfromhereyes,finallybreakingfree.Myheartgavea

squeeze,andIresistedtheurgetoyankherclosetomeandtakeitallback.

“You’reright,okay?Isthatwhatyouwantmetosay?Wantingtostayhereisa

pipedream.”Shetookastepclosertome,herbottomliptrembling.“Itwasjust

sogoodbetweenus,Luke.Whatifweneverfindthatagainwithanyoneelse?”

Theverythoughtofherwithanyoneelsemademyguttense.Thethoughtofher

inanotherman’sarmsmademewanttohitsomething.

Don’tthinkaboutit,man.

“SoIcan’tstay,”sheadded.“Butdoesthatmeanwehavetospendthislast

nightapart?”

Jesus.EvenafterI’dhurther,shewantedtobewithmeonelasttime,andit

waswhatIwantedmorethananythingtoo.Toholdherinmyarmsandtakeher,to

claimherasmyown.Wewouldfittogethersoperfectly—liketwomissingpuzzle

pieces—andIwouldfeelevenworsewhenIhadtowatchherdriveawayfrom

meinthemorning.

ButifIsaidnotoheragain?IknewI’dregretitfortherestofmylife.AndI

hadenoughregrets.

Iwalkedtowardherandtuckedmyhandunderherchin,pullingherlipsto

mineuntilIcouldtastetheminty-sweettoothpasteonhertongueandtheoaky,rich

flavorofhoneyedwhiskeyonherbreath.Theperfectcombination.Theperfect

girl.

BeforeIknewit,wewerefallingbackwardontothebeduntilsheletoutasoft

sighandconnectedwiththemattress.

“Luke.”

Whenshebreathedmyname,Ikissedheragain,tuckingherhairbehindherear

asmytonguesearcheddeeperinsidehermouth,pullinghertowardme,claiming

herwithmylips.

“Comehomewithme,”Iwhispered,andshenodded,herheadtuckedunder

mychin.

Afewminuteslater,weranforthetruck,rainpeltingussidewaysassheleft

withouttakingathing.Oncewewerebackatmyplace,Iledhertomybedroom,

eachofuscarryingalitcandletoguideourpath.

Strippingdowntomyboxers,IwatchedasCharlotteshedherwetclothes.

AfterdressingherinoneofmyT-shirts,Iledhertomybed.

Ikissedherlipssoftlyinamomentsosweetandperfect,italmostdidn’tseem

real.ItfeltlikesomethingoutofoneofthosecheesyNicholasSparksmoviesthat

Mollyliked.Theraindropspeltingthewindows,thesoundofCharlotte’sshallow

breaths,thewayherlipsmetmine...Iwasn’taromantic,buttheknotinmy

throatandtheacheinmychestfeltveryreal.

Iwouldn’tmakelovetohertonight.IknewifIclaimedheragain,I’dneverlet

go.

Comemorning,itwouldbeagonytowatchherleave,butatleastI’dstillhave

mypride.Iwouldn’thavebeggedorpleaded.Shewouldn’twakeupandhateme

onedayforasking.AndI’dbeabletogoonknowingwe’dbothbeenhappyfora

time,whichwasallwe’deverwantedfromthearrangement.

Ididn’ttellherthat,though.Instead,Ipulledawayfromthekissdespite

everythinginsidemeurgingmeon,andheldhertight.

“Youokay?”Iwhispered.

“Iamnow.”

Wecurledtogetherinthedarkness,sharingpiecesofourpasts.Charlotte

spokeagainaboutheroverbearingparentsandwantingtomakeadecisionthat

wasjusthers,whileIsharedmydreamsofmakingmywhiskeyahouseholdname.

Itoldherstoriesofmymomanddad,andgrowingupinasmalltown.Shetalked

aboutthelingeringideasshestillhadforthedistillery,promisingtocallifshe

cameupwithanymore,butIsecretlyhopedshewouldn’t.

BecauseifIheardhervoiceagain?

I’dcrackfasterthanapriestataVegasstripclub.

ChapterEighteen

Luke

Irosefrombedearlythenextmorning,unabletosleepwiththeknowledgethat

todaywastheday.CreepingintothebathroomwhileCharlotteslept,Iturnedon

theshowerandwaitedforthewatertowarm.

AsIsoapedup,Ireflectedoneverythingthathadhappened.Thispastweek

hadbeenoneofthebestofmylife.Ididn’tknowit,butbeforeCharlottearrived,

I’dbeenlivinginafog.I’dwakeupearly,workallday,stressthefuckoutover

thedistilleryturningaprofitoneofthesedays,thenfallintobedexhausted.But

eversincesheshoweduphere,mymiserablelittleroutinehadbeeninterruptedin

thebestwayimaginable.

WatchingCharlotteblossomandgrowduringherstayherehadbeen

something,andIwantedtobelievethatI’dhadahandinthat.Gonewasthe

uptight,spoiledrichgirlwhoexpectedeverythingtobedoneatthesnapofher

fingers.Inherplacewasabeautiful,confidentwomanwhowaslearningtoroll

withthepunchesandmakelemondropsfromlemons.

Afterrinsingoff,Igrabbedatowelandwrappeditaroundmywaist.Swiping

atthefoginthemirror,Iscowledatthereflectionstaringbackatme.

WhatthefuckamIsupposedtodo?

Runningahandacrossmyjaw,Idecidedthatforgoingshavingtodaywouldn’t

betheworstthingintheworld.Charlottelikedmyscruff.Thethoughtmademe

crackasmile.

Butthenithitmeagainthatshewouldn’tbeherelatertostrokeherfingers

alongmyjawandtellmethatshelovedmelikethis.Thatthoughtstung.

Paddingbackintomybedroomwearingjustatowel,Igrabbedapairofjeans

andaT-shirt,dressingquietlybeforeCharlottewoke.

Curledontohersidewithasprayofdarkhairspreadacrossthepillow,she

lookedsosoftandsweetinhersleep.Smirking,Irealizedthatthewomanwas

anythingbutsoft.Awake,shewasafeistyfirecrackerwhoneverhesitatedtoput

meinmyplace.

Asifsensingmypresence,Charlotteturnedtowardme,blinkingagainstthe

sunlightstreaminginthroughtheblinds.

“Morning,sleepyhead.”

“Whattimeisit?”sheasked.

“Justaftereight.”

Sittingup,shegrabbedherphoneanddeletedacoupleoftextmessages

withoutbotheringtoreadthem.ProbablyjustherfriendinLAgivingherahard

timeaboutherlengthystopover.CharlotteandIbothknewthatWaynecouldhave

beenpressuredintohavinghercardonesooner.

“Youhungry?”Iasked.

“CanIshowerfirst?”

Inodded.“Takeyourtime.”

Thatstatementwasallwrong.Timewastheonethingwedidn’thave.But

Charlottebrushedhertangledhairawayfromherfaceandsmiledweaklyatme.

Thatsadlittlesmiletorethroughmelikeaknife.

“I’llbedownstairs,”Imurmured,headingforthedoor.IfoundDukeinthe

kitchenfixinghimselfaplateofeggs.

“What’sontheagendatoday?”heasked.

Iclearedmythroat,forcingdowntheknotthathadformed.“Charlotte’staking

offtoday.”

“Andthat’sit,huh?”

“Yeah.Guessso.”

Heslammedtheskillethe’djustwashedontothecounter.“Don’tbeadumb

fuck.She’sperfectforyou.”

Hewaswrongaboutthat.Shewaswaytoogoodforsomeonelikeme,andI

wouldn’ttrapherintosomethingshe’dregret.

“Iwon’taskhertostay.”

Heshookhishead.“Thenshowherwhyleavingwouldbestupid.”

Tinglesstartedatthebaseofmyspineasaplanformedinmymind.Ineeded

tomakeacall,andmycellwasstillinmybedroom.

“Givemeyourphone,”Idemanded.

Dukegavemethatcockycrookedgrinhealwaysworewhenhe’djust

outsmartedme,andhandedmehisphone.

GlancingtowardthestairstomakesuretherewasnosightofCharlotte,I

dialedthenumberforWayne’s.Severalringslater,Iwasalmostconvincedhis

lazyasswasn’tevenupyetwhenhefinallyanswered.

“Yup,”hesaid.

“Wayne.It’sLukeWilder.”

“WhatcanIdoforya?”

“I’vegotacrisphundred-dollarbillwithyournameonitifyoucankeepthe

Audiintheshoptoday.”

Hewasquiet,andIhadthesinkingfeelinghewasgoingtorefusetoplay

along.Dukenodded,watchingme.

“Ijustneedonemoreday,”Isaid.

“Allrightthen.I’llseeyoutomorrow,”Waynesaidandthenclickedoff.

Alittlewhilelater,Charlottecamedownstairs,herskinfreshlyscrubbedand

dewy,andherdamphairhangingdownherback.

“Waynecalledtosaythingsdidn’tgoaccordingtoplan,andhesaidtocome

bytomorrowmorning.”Sheshruggedandtookaseatatthebreakfasttable,butshe

didn’tseemparticularlyupset.

Dukesmiledatmeandtookhisplateofeggstotheotherroom,givingussome

privacy.

Todaywasmylastchancetoshowhereverythingourlifecouldbeifshe’d

onlytakeachance.Icouldn’twastethisopportunity.Maybe,justmaybe,ifI

playedmycardsright,she’dmakethedecisiontostayallonherown.

“First,I’mgoingtofeedyou,”Isaid,settingdownamugofsteamingcoffeein

frontofCharlotte.

“Andthenwhat?”

“Ithinkwecanentertainourselvesforonemoreday,don’tyou?”

•••

Afterbreakfast,Charlottetookmytruckintotowntocheckoutoftheinnandget

hersuitcase.Whileshewasgone,Igottowork,packingupapicnicbasketwhile

Mollysupervisedwithagrin.

Sofar,Ihadcheese,crackers,fruit,hotdogsandbuns,andabottleofwhite

wine.Mollywasgettingalittletoomuchjoyoutofthis,butwithoutherhelp,the

basketwouldhaveprobablyonlycontainedabottleofwhiskeyandawholebunch

ofcondoms.

Afteraddingacoupleofredplasticcupsfromthepantry,Isurveyedmywork.

Notbad.

“Passmethosenapkins,”ItoldMolly.

“Here,taketheseinstead.”Shehandedmetwoclothnapkins,andthen

switchedoutmyplasticcupsforapairofstemlesswineglasses.

WhileIgrabbedablanketfromthehallcloset,Mollydartedoff,thenemerged

fromherbedroomwithalittlepackageofsaltedcarameldarkchocolatesquares.

“Theseareyourfavorite,”Isaid.“Areyousure?”

Shenodded.“Charlottelovesthemtoo.”

Iaddedthosetothebasket,alongwithgrahamcrackersandabagof

marshmallows.

“Whereareyoutakingher?”Mollyasked.

“I’mthinkingtheswimminghole,apicnic,maybeabonfireandamovieonthe

iPadifshelikestheidea.”

Molly’sgazewentsoft.“Howsweet.It’llbelikeyourownprivateoutdoor

movie.”

“Yep.That’stheidea.”Privacywasmymaingoal,thatandshowingherallthe

pleasureslifeinasmalltownhadtooffer.

“Oh!”Mollyrantothehallcloset.“You’regonnaneedsomepillows.Maybea

couplemoreblanketstoo.”

TirescrunchingongraveloutfrontmeantCharlottewasback,andIturnedto

Mollyandhandedhertheblanket.

“Throwthepillowsandblanketsinthebackofthetruckforme,wouldyou?”

Mollynoddedandhurriedtowardthescreendoor.

Isnatchedupthebasketandonsecondthought,grabbedthewhiskeyand

condoms,tuckingthoseintoo.Afterall,amancouldneverbetooprepared.

“What’sallthisfor?”Charlotteaskedassheclimbedoutofthetruckand

handedmethekeys.

Iplacedthebasketbehindtheseat.“Justgetyourprettylittleassbackinthe

truck,andyou’llsee.”IswattedherbehindplayfullywhileMollywavedfromthe

frontporch.

“Yes,sir,”Charlottemutteredunderherbreath.

ShefiddledwiththeradiountilshefoundastationthatsuitedherwhileI

headedouttowardthespotIhadinmind.Whatweneededwasprivacy,andI

knewjusttheplace.Aboutahalfhouroutsideoftownonastretchofcountryroad

wasapieceoflandI’dlookedatbuyinglastyear.Acresofrollinghillsandshady

pecantrees,andarockybluffoverlookingtheclearest,prettiestlake.Itwas

completelysecludedwithnooneformilesaround.

Theowner,anoldmaninhiseighties,wasn’treadytosell,buttoldmeIwas

freetovisitwheneverIwantedtogofishinginthelake.Ihadalotmoreonmy

mindtodaythancatchingafewcatfish.

“Whereareweheaded?”Charlotteasked.“AmIdressedokay?”

Lookingdownatherdeliciouscreamythighsbelowapairofcut-offjean

shorts—thighsthatIhopedwouldbewrappedaroundmynecklater—Ijust

grinned.“You’reperfect.”

Alittlewhilelater,wepulleddownthehiddensingle-laneroadthatwasso

narrow,twigsandbranchesbrushedthesidesofmytruckaswedroveon.

Charlottegavemeaworriedlook.“Willyoutellmewhereyou’retakingme?

Becausethisislookingmoreandmorelikesomewhereyougotogetridofa

body.”

Chucklingather,Ifinallypulledtoastopinaclearingoverlookingthelake.“I

figuredIhadonelastdaytoshowyouallthepleasuresofthesimplelife,andI

didn’twanttowasteit.”

Shegazedoutthewindshieldtothelakebeyond,andashardasItriedto

decipherherexpression,Icouldn’tquitereadit.

Thiswasmylastshot,andIwaspullingoutallthestops.

ChapterNineteen

Charlotte

TheasshathadconvenientlyforgottentomentionthatIneededabathingsuit.ButI

couldn’tbemadbecausegettingtoseeLuke,awholelotofLuke,alltannedskin

androck-hardmuscle,madeittotallyworthit.Plus,I’dneverbeenskinny-

dipping,soIgottocrossthatoffmybucketlist.

Weplayedintheshallowsforawhile,andthenhecarriedmeoutintodeeper

waterandkissedme.Hebecamearoused,andforamomentIthoughtwemight

makeloverightthereinthelake,butwedidn’t.Instead,hedunkedmeandswam

awaylaughing,whichspawnedatwenty-minutewaterbattle.

ThenwedressedandgrabbedwhatLukehadbrought.Heledmeonahike

aroundthelake,finallyclimbinguptoarockybluffwherewecouldseeformiles.

Wespreadouttheblanketonaperfectspotandcuddledtogether,watchingthe

cloudsfloatby.Itwastrulytheperfectdayalready,anditwasbarelyevennoon.

“Yougettinghungryyet?”Lukeasked,leaningovertobrushawispofhair

awayfrommyface.

“Maybe.What’sinthatpicnicbasket?”

Smirking,hesaid,“You’lljusthavetofindout.”

Wesatup,stackinguptheoversizedthrowpillowsbehindus,andLuke

arrangedanimpressivepicnic.Wemunchedoncheeseandcrackers,andsipped

glassesofwinewhilechattingabouteverythingandnothing.

“Thisisanawfullyromanticdate,Mr.Wilder.Explaintomeagainhowitis

thatyou’restillsingle?”

Hechuckledandshookhishead.“No,you’vegotitallwrong.Thisisn’ta

date.IjustneededtogetyououtofthehousebeforethehookersthatDukehired

cameover.”

Knowinghewaskidding,Inodded,keepingmyexpressionserious.“Isee.

Goodplan.”

HetoldmeaboutthehistoryofShadyGrove,andhowhisfamilycametobe

settledthere.Welaughedandate,andthenwatchedamovieontheiPadhe’d

brought.Itwastheperfectday.

Whenthesunbegantoset,Ithoughtthatwasit,thatitwastimetopackupand

gohome.Instead,LukewenttogatherfirewoodwhileIbuiltalittlestonering

severalfeetawayfromourblanket.Oncehegotafiregoing,weroastedhotdogs

onsticksandategooeyburnedmarshmallows,chasingthemwithsipsofhis

smokywhiskey.

Icouldn’trecallatimewhenI’denjoyedsuchsimplepleasures.Assweetasit

hadbeenforMollytothrowmeagoing-awayparty,thiswasthebestwayto

spendmylastnighthere.Itfeltsoright.

“Youcold?”Lukeasked,drapingaheavyarmaroundmeandpullingmeclose.

“Alittle.”Inodded.

“I’llfixthat.”

Afterhethrewanotherlogontothefire,hestoodupandgrabbedafaded

flannelshirtfromhistruck,thendrapeditaroundmyshoulders.Theshirtwassoft

andsmelledlikehim,andIslippedmyarmsintothesleevesandbuttoneditup.

“I’mamess,”Isaid,smoothingmywavyair-driedhairintoaponytailhighon

myhead.IcouldonlyimaginewhatImustlooklike.

“Ilikeyoulikethis,”Lukemurmured,tiltingmychintowardhistokissmy

lips.

“You’rebeingawfullysweet.Areyoutryingtogetlucky?”Iwhispered,

pressingmylipstohisagain.

“Thatdepends...”

“On?”

Lukeliftedmeintohislap,settlingmeoverthefirmridgeinhispants.“Onif

youcanhandleridingthisallnightlong.”Hethrustupward,forcingthebreath

frommylungs.“BecauseIdon’tplanonstoppinguntilthesuncomesup.”

Hismouthcrashedagainstmineinahungrykiss.Thepressurebuilding

betweenmylegsdemandedattention,andIcouldn’thelpthewhimperthatfell

frommylips.

HegroanedwhenIshiftedmyhips,grippingmyasstoworkmeoverhis

strainingcockashekissedmeagain.Afterunbuttoningtheflannelshirt,Lukeletit

dropfrommyshouldersandthenstrippedoffmyT-shirtandbra.

Hiswarm,callousedpalmscoveredmybreasts,histhumbsstrokingmy

nipples.“Whatdoyousay,sweetheart?Areyoureadytoridemycock?”

Risingtomyfeet,Iquicklystrippedoutofmyshortsandunderwear.Luke

wastednotimeunfasteninghispantsandshovingthemdownhiships.Bythetime

Iwasbackinhislap,he’dalreadysheathedhimselfinacondom.

“Comehere,beautiful.Needtomakesureyou’rereadyforme.”

Whilehismouthfeastedonmybreasts—kissingandnibblingandlicking—his

handmovedbetweenuswherehediscoveredthatIwas,infact,alreadyreadyfor

him.

“Iloveitwhenyoutastelikemywhiskey.”Hegroanedagain,slidingone

fingerinsideme.

Grippinghisshoulders,Iburiedmyfaceagainsthisneck,kissingallthewarm

skinIcouldreach.“Luke...”Imoanedhisname,theneedinmyvoice

unmistakable.

Positioningmeinhislap,hepressedforwardslowlyuntilourbodieswere

joined.

“Christ...you’reperfect,”hesaid,gruntingashepumpedintome.

“Letme,”Iwhispered.

Placinghishandsonmyjaw,hebroughtmylipstohiswhileItookcontrolof

ourspeed.Irockedmyhipsinhislap,findingtheanglethatsuitedme.

Ipattedhischest.“Leanback,bigboy.”

Lukeobeyed,restingonhiselbowswhilehewatchedmewithhoodedeyes.

“Justlikethat,baby.Niceandslow.”

Underthemoonandstarswithafirecracklingbesideus,wefoundnewways

tobringeachotherpleasure.Andafterwehadbothreachedourclimax,welay

spoonedtogetherunderablanketforalongtime,hisbreathingslowandevenas

hestrokedmyhair.

IkeptwaitingforLuketoaskmetostay,waitedforhimtoaskwhatwasso

importantaboutgettingtoLA.

Buthedidn’t.

AndIdidn’tbringitup,eventhoughIfelttheweightofmysecretpressing

downonmewitheachpassingheartbeat.Becausenowthatwe’dgrowncloser,

keepingthetruthfromhimthiswholetimesuddenlyfeltvery,verywrong.

“Luke,there’ssomethingInevertoldyouaboutbackhome...aboutwhyI

left.”

“Shh.”Hestrokedmyhair.“Youdon’towemeanexplanation.Youwanteda

freshstart,right?”

Inodded,myheadstillnestledagainsthischest.Tearswelledinmyeyesat

howperfectandsweetthismanwas.He’dbaredhissoultomeinjustoneweek’s

time,andIhadn’tevenbeenbraveenoughtoreturnthefavor.Butfornow,Iknew

hewasright.Ididn’twanttosullyourlastnighttogetherbytalkingaboutPrescott

oranyoftheotherstuffinmylife.Comparedtothemanbesideme,itwasall

meaningless.

Tomorrowhadthepowertochangeeverything,soIkeptmymouthshutand

simplyenjoyedbeingwithhim.

ButIcouldn’thelpbutwonder,comemorning,wouldheaskmetostay,or

wouldheletmegowithoutafight?

ChapterTwenty

Luke

Lastnighthadbeenperfect.CharlotteandIhadlaintogetherunderthestarsuntil

themoonwashigh,butwhenthetemperaturestartedtodrop,wepackedupfor

home,makingloveoncemoreinmybed.

Thedayhadbeenfilledwithsunshineandlaughsandthehottestsexofmylife,

butintheend,ithadn’treallychangedanything.Charlottedidn’tmentionthe

future,andthoughIwonderedwhereherheadwasat,Ididn’thavetheballsto

bringitup.

IfIhad,IknewI’dprobablyendupbegginghertostay,andI’donlycometo

regretit.JustlikeIhadwithmymom,andjustlikeIhadwithSarah.Therewere

sayingsaboutthisexactsituation—aboutbeingburned,orfoolmeonce,shitlike

that—andIdidn’tcaretoseehistoryrepeatitself.

Charlotteroseearly,andImadecoffeewhilesheshowered.Whenshewas

dressed,shecamedownstairswithhersuitcase,herexpressionunreadable.She

huggedMollygood-byeonelasttimewhilemysistershotmeaquestioningscowl.

Leaveit,myexpressionsaid.

“Ready?”Iaskedaftertheyexchangedphonenumbersandpromisedtostayin

touch.

Charlottenodded.

Itossedhersuitcaseinthebackofmytruckandwegotin,thesilencehanging

aroundusnearlydeafening.

Withoutaword,DukegotinhistrucktofollowusovertoWayne’s.Heknew

withoutmysayingthatifshegotinthatcartoday,I’dbegutted.HealsoknewI’d

headovertothebaranddrinkuntilIcouldn’twalkanymore.He’dbethereto

drivemehome,andlater,tohelpmepickupthepieces.

Whenwepulledup,hershinyblackAudiwasparkedoutfront.Aswe

climbedoutofmytruck,Waynecamestrollingoutoftheshop,andanimpending

senseofdoomsettledoverme.

Thiswasit.

ChapterTwenty-One

Charlotte

WepulledtoastopinthesamedustygraveldrivewayI’dbrokendowninten

daysago.ItwascrazyhowfastmylifehadchangedsincemeetingLuke.Itwas

crazyhowdeeplyhe,hisfamily,andthislittletownhadaffectedme.

IfollowedWayneinsidetheshoptosettlemybillandcollectmykeywhile

Lukeandhisbrotherexchangedsometensewordsintheparkinglot.Ididn’tknow

whyDukewashere,maybejusttosaygood-byeonelasttime,butitfeltlike

somethingmorethanthat.Itriednottothinkaboutit.

Aftergivingmyparents’blackcreditcardahealthyworkout,therewasno

otherreasontodelay.InhalingonelastdeepbreathoffreshcountryairasI

walkedthroughtheparkinglot,Irealizedthiswasit.

WhileDukehelpedmeloadmysuitcaseintothetrunkofthecar,Wayneand

Lukestoodandtalkedattheedgeoftheparkinglot.

IcouldbarelystandtolookatLuke—ithurttoomuch.ThethoughtthatImight

bespeakingmylastwordstohimcutmetothecore.Yesterdayhadbeen

incredible,probablythebestdayofmyentirelife,butthatwasallitwas.Onelast

daytoenjoyeachotherbeforeitallcametoanendbecausehehadn’taskedmeto

stay,andIcertainlywasn’tgoingtoinvitemyselfto.

Ifhereallywantedmehere,hewouldhavemadethatclear.Lukewasn’taman

whomincedwords.

“Yousureyouhavetogo,sweetheart?”Dukeasked,drawingmeoutofmy

thoughts.

Iclosedthetrunkandturnedtofacehim.Angerandfrustrationwereetched

intohisfeatures,butIsensedallhisangerwasdirectedathisbrother,notme.

Igavehimasadsmile.

“He’sanidiottoletyougo,”Dukesaid,takingmyhandandgivingita

squeeze.“Ifyouwon’tstayforhim,stayforme.”

Hissensitivitytouchedme.I’dneverseenthesofter,moreserioussideof

Duke,butitwasobvioustherewasone.

“It’snotthatsimple,”Isaid.

“Whynot?”

Shieldingmyeyesfromthesun,Itookadeepbreath,forcingfrommythroat

thewordsIdidn’twanttosayoutloud.“Firstofall,heneveraskedmetostay.”

“Fuckingdipshit,”Dukesaidunderhisbreath.“YouknowhebribedWayne,

don’tyou?Youcould’vegottenoutofhereyesterday.”

Thatwasnewstome,butitfeltliketoolittle,toolate.“Doesn’tmatter.We

hadfun,andnowit’sover.”

LukeknewhowIfelt.I’dputmyheartouttherethenightofmyparty,asked

himtotellmetostay.Hewouldn’t,andnowitwastoolate.

ChapterTwenty-Two

Luke

AfterhandingWaynehismoney,IwatchedasDukesaidonelastgood-byeto

Charlotteandthenclimbedintohistruck.Waynewentbackinside,andthenitwas

justCharlotteandme.

“Theendoftheroad,”Imurmured,andshenodded.

Ididn’tknowwhattosay,anditseemedshedidn’teither.Ifoldedherintomy

armsonelasttime,tryingnottonoticehowperfectlyshefitthere.Therewereno

tears,nolongdrawn-outgood-bye,andnopromisestokeepintouch.Shehad

stormedintomylife,butitseemedshewasleavingwithoutthesameflair.

Ithoughtaboutkissinghergood-bye,butintheend,Icouldn’t.Isimplyhelped

herintohercar,shutthedoor,thenwatchedasshedroveoffintothedistance,my

fistsclenchedatmysidesandmystomachtightwithdespair.

Butasthatfancyforeigncardisappearedoverthehorizon,Icouldn’tshakethe

feelingthatitwastakingmyheartalongwithit.

ChapterTwenty-Three

Charlotte

IcriedallthewaythroughtherestofTexas,NewMexico,andArizona.Forthree

days,IdrovetowardLA,thinkingoverthepastweekinShadyGroveandtryingto

convincemyselfnottoturnback.

IwantedtorunintoLuke’shouseanddemandthatherealizeIwasn’tthesame

asSarah,thatthingswouldbedifferentwithmeifhe’donlygiveitachance.But

then,wheneverIwasleavingonehighwaymoteloranother,Iwouldrealizethat

myactions—nomatterhowgrand—woulddonothingtochangehismind.

Hewasatraditionalist,downtothestereotypeofbeingstuckinhisways,and

ifIthoughtIwasgoingtobetheonetochangehim?Well,Ihadanotherthing

coming.

No,LukeWilderandeverythinghestoodforwasintherearviewnow—just

likeNewYorkandPrescottandalltherestofmypast.

Suddenly,thismovedidn’tfeellikestartingoverorstartingfreshanymore.It

simplyfeltlike...settling.AsifeverymileIgotclosertoLA,Iwasgettinga

littlefartherfromwhatIactuallywanted.

IwasexcitedtoseeValentina,ofcourse,butevenwhenIfinallypulledupto

myfriend’shouse,itwaswithagrowingsenseofdoomanddespair.

Afterhaulingmysuitcasefromthebackseat,Itrudgedupthelittlestoop

outsideValentina’schicbungalowandrangthedoorbell.Inaninstant,myfriend

wasthere,alltannedwillowylimbsandlongdarkcurls,embracingmeinahug

thatseemedtogoonforever.

Which,ofcourse,onlymadethetearsIthoughtI’dmanagedtoleavebehindin

Arizonaspringbackupandreartheiruglyheads.

“What’swrong,honey?”Valentinacooedassheusheredmeinside.

Isniffledbeforefollowingher,swipingawaymytearswiththebackofmy

hand.“I’msorry.I’mbeingstupid.”

“Youaremanythings,butstupidisnotoneofthem.”Shegesturedtoherbright

whitecouchandItookaseatcarefully,wipingawayanothererranttear.“What’s

goingon?”

Iletthewholestoryspillout—or,atleast,thepartsofitshedidn’talready

know.IwasalittleashamedthatIsharedmorethanIprobablyshouldhave.

AboutthehotsexandtheburningattractionbetweenLukeandme.Aboutwhat

we’dsaidtoeachotherinourintimatemoments.Abouthowhe’dheldmeall

nightbeforeIleft,andthewayhehadn’tevenkissedmegood-bye.

Abouthowherefusedtoaskmetostay.

Throughitall,Valentinasatinraptattention,nibblingatherlong,perfectly

manicuredfingernailsandnoddinginalltherightplaces.WhenIfinallyfinished,

shesatbackandletoutawistfullittlesigh.

“Well,thatsoundslikeitwasalllongoverdue.”

“What?”Iasked.

“Thinkabouttheguysyou’vebeenwith,”shesaidwithashrug.“Youneeded

someoneoutsideyourcomfortzone.Youneededtohavealittlebrushwithreal

love.”

“ButPrescott—”

Sherolledhereyes.“Areyoureallygoingtosithereandtellme—me,your

bestfriendsincekindergarten—thatyouwereinlovewithPrescott?”

“Iwasgoingtomarryhim,”Ishotback.

“Which,I’llremindyou,hadnothingtodowithlove.Yourparentsjustwanted

toseethatyoudidn’tsquanderthattidylittleinheritanceofyours.Hewaswell

bred,justlikeyou.ForGod’ssake,thatrelationshipwasmoreliketwoanimals

matingincaptivitythanactually—”

ImadealittlechokingnoiseandValentinastoppedshort.

“What?”sheasked.

“Well,Ineveractually...PrescottandIdidn’t...”

Valentinaletoutadisgustedsnort.“Youweregoingtomarryaguyyou’d

neversleptwith?Whatisthis,theeighteenhundreds?”

Iclosedmyeyes.“Marryinghimjustseemedlikethepracticalthingtodo.We

gotalongwellandtraveledinthesamecircles.”

“God,thatisthemostdepressingreasonforgettingmarriedI’veeverheard.

I’msogladyouweren’tgoingtowriteyourownvows.Youprobablywouldhave

citedthetaxcodesthatmademarriagesuchagreatdecision.”Sherolledhereyes

again,tsk-tskingatme.“Comeon,webothknowtherealreasonyouweregoing

tomarryhim,anditwasn’tbecausehewaspracticalandrespectable.”

Iraisedmyeyebrows.

“Areyoureallygoingtomakemesayitoutloud?”Valentinasaid,andIstared

atherblankly.

AsfarasIknew,I’dgottenengagedtoPrescottbecausehe’daskedme,and

becauseitmadeacertainkindofsenseonpaper.Anythingotherthanthatwould

havebeennewstome.

“Youdon’tthinkyouwerejustsodesperatetopleaseMommyandDaddythat

youwerereadytocommityourselftotheirall-starteampickforyourhusband?”

Iscoffed.“Idon’tknowwhatyou—”

“Charlotte,Isawyouafteryourfatherturnedyoudownforthatjobathis

company.AndIwastherewhenyourmothersniffedatyourpromdateandasked

abouthislastname.Iknowwhatthosepeopledotoyou.You’renevergood

enoughforthem.ButwithPrescott,youhadachancetofinally—”

“That’snottrue,”Isaid,asickfeelingwellingupinsideme,butValentina

ignoredme.

“Prescotthadabetterfamilyname,abiggerinheritance,andaprettier

penthousethanyours.NowonderMommyandDaddyweresogung-hoaboutthis

union.Theirsocialstockwouldclimblikenobody’sbusiness.”

Ichewedonmybottomlip,notwillingtogiveinyet.God,thepersonshewas

describingsoundedsopathetic.Poorlittlerichgirl,desperateforherparentsto

loveher.Thatcouldn’tbeme.

“Myparents’approvalisimportanttome,butit’snoteverything.”

“Andthat’swhyyoumadetherightdecisionandleft.”Valentinagavemean

approvingnod.“Buttellme,whenwasthelasttimetheyreallylistenedtowhat

youthoughtorwhatyouwanted?Youcan’tgoonlikethis,justlivinglifeto

pleasethem,andtheyneedtoknowit.”

Shejerkedherheadtowardthephoneonthecoffeetablebetweenus.

“Tomorrow,youcall.Butfornow?You’vehadalongtrip.Ithinkyoushouldtake

anicehotshower,haveanap,andthenwe’llhitthetown.Comemorning,youcan

decidewhattosaytoyourparents.AndLuke.MaybeevenPrescotttoo.”

“You’retoowiseforyourowngood,”Isaid,andshelaughed.

“Igetthatalot.”

So,thatafternoon,Ididasshesuggested.Itookashowerandthenlaydownto

sleep,butwheneverIclosedmyeyes,IfeltlikeIwasinLuke’sbed,waitingfor

hiswarm,strongarmtowinditswayaroundmeandpullmeclose.Waitingfor

himtosmellmyhairandkissthebackofmyneck.Wantinghimtopullmeclose

andwhispersomethingdirtyinmyear.Waitingforsomethingthatwouldnever

comeagain.

Ofcourse,intheraremomentsIdidn’tthinkaboutLuke,Iconsideredmylife.

Mychoices.

Iwas,Iknew,adaughterofprivilege.Ihadnostudentloansandnodebtto

speakof,afancycarIhadn’tpaidformyself,andablackcreditcardIcouldwhip

outatamoment’snotice.

Butatwhatcost?

Mymother’sindignationwhenImadeachoiceshedidn’tlike.Myfather’s

continueddisapproval.TheexpectationthatIwouldcontinueintheirfootstepsby

marryingwellandraisingchildrenwhowouldlivesheltered,privilegedlivesjust

likemine,withahistoryofcoldboardingschoolsandevenchillierromances.

AndthemoreIthoughtaboutit,themoreIrealizeditwasn’tapriceIwas

willingtopay.

ChapterTwenty-Four

Luke

IthadbeenthreedayssinceCharlottehadleft,andinallthattimeIhadn’t

botheredtoleavethebarn.

Well,thatwasn’tentirelytrue.Thedaysheleft,Dukehadtakenmeintotown

andI’dgottenshit-faceddrunk.ThenIspentthenextdayinbed,pretendingtobe

hungover,butIwasreallyjustheartbroken.

Now,though?Now,Iwasdetermined.Throwingmyselfintomyworkseemed

tobethebestdistractionIcouldfind.

Ourfirstpublicunveilingwouldtakeplaceinamonth,andtherewasstillso

muchtodo,somanyeventstoplan.Myfacewasroughwithunshavenstubbleand

myeyesweredarkwithexhaustion,butintheend,Iknewitwouldbeworthit.

Thebarnwouldhousemorethanjustadistillery—itwouldbeahometowntasting

roomcompletewithspeciallightingandambience,allthetouchesthatCharlotte

hadsocarefullylaidoutforus.

IfonlyIdidn’tseeherface...feelhertouch...smellherhaireverysecond

oftheday.

She’dcomeupwithhalfthespecialtymixesforthetastingbar,theideasfor

thewhiskey-barrelpubtables,andtheburlapcoasterswiththebrandeddesignon

them.EvenasIstrungthelightsfromtherafters,Icouldrecallthewayshe’d

laughedatmewhenIaskedwhyitmatteredsomuchthatwegotEdisonbulbs

insteadoftwinklingChristmaslights.

“See?”she’dsaid.“Thisiswhyyouneedme.”

Iranmyhandovermyscragglybeard,thenclimbeddownfromtheladderand

snappedafewshots.Soon,I’dbesendingoffmyideastoinvestorstoseeifwe

couldexpandthebarn—makeitintoafull-scalegranddestination.Somethingfor

partiesandweddings.

That,Irealizedwithathudofmyheart,hadbeenCharlotte’sideatoo.

Alightknocksoundedagainstthedoorbehindme,andIturnedtofindmy

sisterleaningagainstthedoorframe.

“Wow.”Mollyletoutalowwhistle.“Dukesaidyou’dbeenhardatwork,but

Ineverimagined...”

Theplacewasprettyimpressive.I’dbuiltthetastingbarmyself,andhad

alreadyarrangedfourofthesixteenbarstoolsthatwouldbeclusteredaroundthe

wideoak-barreltables.Alanternsatinthecenterofeachtable,andasIflippeda

switch,thesoftlightoftheEdisonbulbsoverheadletmeknowthatCharlottehad

beenright.Thesoftyellowglowmadeallthedifference,especiallyonarainyday

liketoday.

“Youlikeit?”Iasked.

“Ithinkit’sperfect.”Mollynodded.“Lookslikeyouhadhelp,though.”

Iclearedmythroat,tryingtosoundcasual.“Charlotteorderedmostofit

beforesheleft.Ijusthadtosettheplaceup.”

“Ifonlyshecouldseeitnow,”Mollysaidwithapointedlook.“Ibetshe

wouldn’tbelieveit’sthesamebarnyoushowedheraroundbefore.”

“Well,shedidhaveasoftspotfortheplace.”

“She’dbeproud.”

“Yeah,Ibetshewould.”

Mollyslidontooneofthestoolsinfrontofthetastingbar.“Hey,makemea

LittleWilder,huh?”

Imadequickworkofmixingherdrink,andwhenIpasseditherway,she

liftedtheglassslightly.

“Thisonewasyouridea,right?”

Inodded.“Yeah.”

“Icantell.Traditionalold-fashionedwithalittletwistofsomethingmodern.”

“Look,Molly—”

Sheheldupahandtosilenceme.“I’mnottryingtoinfluenceyouonewayor

another.Yourlifeisyourbusiness,”shesaidwithalittlesigh.“Butifyouaskfor

myopinion,ontheotherhand—”

“WhichIhaven’t,”Iremindedher.

“Whichyouhaven’t,butifyoudid,IwouldtellyouwhatIreallythought.”She

tookasipofherdrinkandwaited,knowingthatI’dhavetoask.

“Fine.Whatdoyouthink?”

“Ithinkyou’vebeenamiserablepricksinceCharlotteleft,andyoulethergo

fornogoodreason.”

Iletoutahumorlesslaugh.“Isthatall?”

“Shehasn’tpostedevenasingleInstagrampicsinceweallwhentoWhatthe

Cluck.I’mthinkingshe’sprobablyprettymiserabletoo.”

“InLosAngeles?Agirllikeher?Idoubtit,”Isaid,althoughmyselfishheart

liftedatthethoughtthatshemightmissme.Thatevensomesmallportionofher

washurtingthewayI’dbeenhurting—eventhoughshecouldn’tpossiblybeas

hauntedbymyabsenceasIwasbyhers.

“Ithinkyouweretooquicktojudgeher,”Mollysaid.

Ishrugged.“Youweren’twithusallthetime.”

Mollysatdownherdrinkwithathunkandwaggledafingeratme.“Iwas

withyouenough,andI’vebeenaroundyouallyourlife.Don’tthinkIdon’tknow

whatyou’redoing.Isawwhathappenedattheparty.”

“Whatdoyou—”

“IwasinthecornertalkingtoDanaFrench,andIheardCharlottetellyouto

askhertostay.”

Myheartdroppedintomystomach.“Iaskedforyouropinion,notarecounting

ofthefacts.”

“Fine,then,here’smyopinion.You’readumbass.”

“Molly—”

“YouforgetthatIknewSarah.Iwasgoingtobethemaidofhonoratyour

wedding.IwastherewhenDad...”Mollyclearedherthroatandgatheredherself

beforeshecontinued.“IwasonlyaroundCharlotteforaweek,butI’mheretotell

youthatwhileyoudohaveadefinitetype,thosetwoaremostcertainlynot

interchangeablepeople.Charlottewouldneverhaveleftyoulikethat,withouta

wordrightafterDaddied.Sarahwasself-involvedandentitled.Charlotteisn’t

likethat.”

“Howwouldyouknow?”Ishotback.

“Lookaroundthisroom,”Mollysaidsimply.“Youdidn’tpayherforthis.

Charlottehelpedyououtofthegoodnessofherheart,andsheneveroncetoldyou

togiveup.”

“Thatdoesn’tchangethefactthatshe’dneverbehappyinShadyGrove,”I

said,althoughmyargumentsoundedfeeble,eventome.

“Youneverknowanythinguntilyoutry.Andyou?You’reafraidoftrying.”

Mollyshovedoffherstool,thenpulledthehoodofherrainjacketoverherhead.

“Look,IhaveafeelingthatnomatterwhatIsay,you’regoingtohavesome

argumentforme,soI’mnotgoingtowastemybreath.Ionlycametotellyouthata

lettercametodayfromaninvestorwhosawyourpicturesonline.He’scomingto

seetheplacenextweek.”

Alittlethrillofexcitementranthroughme,butitdidnothingtoassuagethe

guiltandturmoilbornebyeverythingMollyhadsaid.Whatfollowedwasatiny

grainofsomethinglikehope.

“Don’tworkyourselftodeathinhere,”Mollyadded,thenhunchedoverand

hurriedoutintotherain.

Iglancedatherhalf-emptyglassandthenreachedformyphone.Scrolling

throughmycontacts,IopenedCharlotte’sinformationandstaredatit,mythumb

hoveringovertheC

ALL

buttonforwhatfeltlikethehundredthtime.

Logically,Iknewitwasbettertocutthingsoffwithhercoldturkey.Butafter

everything,Mollyhadsaid...

Ishovedthephonebackinmypocketandheadedformytruck,myhead

whirlingwitheverythingthatneededtobedonebeforetheinvestorshowedup.It

alsospunwithallthereasonsIshouldn’tpulloutmyphoneandseeifMollywas

right.

ToseeifCharlottemissedme.

ChapterTwenty-Five

OnmyseconddayatValentina’s,Isummonedmycourageandpickedupmy

phone,findinganotherslewofmissedcallsandtexts.

None,Inoticed,werefromLuke.

Iwasgoingtohavetodealwiththeemotionsthatcamealongwiththatsoon

enough,andIwasdreadingit.Buttherewereotherthingsthatneededtendingto

aswell.ThingsIfeltmoresureofwitheverypassingminute.

Clickingopenthefirstmessage,Ilistenedasmymother’svoicepoured

throughthespeaker.“Charlotte,sweetie,youmissedyourappointmentwiththe

doctoryesterday.Youdoknowit’sveryhardtogetappointmentslikethoseat

suchshortnotice.I’llreschedule,butyoushouldknowwhatanawful

impositionthisis.”Themessageclickedoff.

No“Iloveyou,”no“Ihopeyou’resafe.”Again,noquestionaboutwhereI

was.Forthem,itwasallaboutdamagecontrol.

Well,Iwassickofbeingaliability.Withshakingfingers,Idialedmymother’s

numberandwaiteduntilherbored,upper-crusttonesfilledtheline.

“Charlotte,finally.”

“Hello,Mother.”

“Whatdaywillworkwellforthedoctor?Iassumeyougotmymessage?”

“I’mnotgoingtoanydoctor.”MyvoicewasmoreresolutethanI’deverheard

it,andIstraightenedmyshoulderstoprojectevenmore.

“Whatonearthdoyoumean?”mymothercried.“You’vehadanervous

breakdown.Youhavetoseeadoctortosetyouright.”

“Nothingiswrongwithme.”Ipulledmyblackcreditcardfrommypurseand

grippedthescissorsI’dfoundinValentina’skitcheninoneshakyhand.“Look,I

wascallingtoletyouknowthatI’msafe.Also,youshouldcontactAmerican

Expressandtakemynameofftheaccount.Icutupmycard.”

“Youdidwhat?”shegasped.

“I’vebeenthinking,andIwanttoearnwhatIget.MaybeDadwasright—

aboutmarketingandeverything.Ishouldn’twalkintoajob,butIalsoshouldn’t

walkintoacarandacreditcardeitherjustbecauseofwhoIwasbornto.”

Holdingthephonepinchedbetweenmycheekandshoulder,Isnippedthecard

inhalf,thenletoutasatisfiedsigh,feelingthestringsofmypuppeteerfalling

away.“Ihaveenoughtogetbyforawhile.Inthemeantime,I’llfindanewjob,

butIcan’ttakeanymoreofyourmoney.”

Silencereignedonthelineforalongmoment.Whenmymotherspokeagain,it

wasslowlyandcarefully,asifshewerespeakingtoaderangedperson.“Honey,

isthissomesortofWaldenthing?Areyoutryingto—Idon’tknow—onlykeep

whatbringsyoujoy?BecauseI’vereadthatbook,and—”

“Thisisn’tanythingIgotfromabook.ThisissomethingIfeeldeepdown

inside,”Isaid.“Ijustwantedtoletyouknow.”

“Weonlywantedtohelpyou.”

“Iappreciatethat,Mother.ButIneedtohelpmyselfnow.”

Ididn’tsayalltherestburninginmythroat.ThateverythingI’dbeengiven

camewithstrings,andthatI’dsuddenlyneverfeltfreer.Thattheirhelpwasjusta

formofcontrol.Whatwouldthepointbe?Itwouldonlyhurther.Shelovedmethe

bestsheknewhow,andI’dbeenawillingparticipant,happytotakewhatthey

gaveuntilnow.Nopointinbeatingittodeath.We’dallmademistakes.Thekey

wastomoveforwardasabetterme,andhopethatdidn’tdestroymyrelationship

withmyparents.

Iendedthecalldespiteherrenewedcriesformetoseeatherapistanyway.

WhenIemergedfromthebedroom,Valentinagavemeasmilesobigandwide

thatforthefirsttimesinceI’dleftLuke,Ialmostfelthappy.

“We’llstartlookingforjobsforyounextweek,”Valentinacried,“butfor

tonight?We’regoingtocelebrate.”

Shepoppedthecorkofabottleofchampagne.Foamsprayedthelivingroom

butshedidn’tcare,sheonlyletoutawhoopofcelebration.Ijoinedher,laughing

asthesudsdrippedontothefloor.

“Okay,”Isaid.“It’stimetogetourpartyon.”

WeraidedValentina’sclosetanddownedthechampagne,thentookanUberto

anearbyclub.Itshouldhavebeenfreeing—aperfectnightofdancingand

celebratingthewayI’dalwayslovedtodoinNewYork.

Butnow?NowIcouldonlylookaroundandpicturethatgoing-awaypartyat

thelittlebar,howeveryonekneweachother,andhowIwasnowsurroundedby

strangerswhodidn’tknowmeanymorethantheycaredaboutme—whichwasto

saynotatall.

Anhourintothefestivities,ItappedValentinaontheshoulder.“IthinkI’dlike

toheadout.Youcanstayifyouwant.”

Shefrowned.“Youokay?”

“Yeah,”Ilied.“Juststilltiredfromthetrip.”

Sheinsistedonleavingwithme,butshedidn’tpressforanswers.Ifeltnothing

butreliefasIclimbedintobedandpulledthecoversovermyheadahalfhour

later.

I’dtakenahugestepwithmyparents,andthathadfeltamazing.Butoncethe

euphoriahadfaded,IrealizedIstillhadagapingholeinmyheart.

Andtheonlypersonwhocouldfillitwasmorethanathousandmilesaway.

ChapterTwenty-Six

Luke

AnotherfewdayspassedandIworkedevenharder,throwingmyselfintothe

distillerywitheverythingIhad.Businesswasbooming,andtheregularorderfrom

thebarhaddoubledinthespanofaweek.Occasionally,DukeorMollywould

stopbytoseewhatwasgoingon—andtotalktomeyetagainaboutCharlotte—

butforthemostpart,thiswasmybaby.Mybigchancetomakeadifference.

Still,everynightIpulledoutmyphoneanddidwhatwasquicklybecominga

ritual.IopenedFacebook,Instagram,andTwitter,searchingforanymentionof

Charlotte,butMollywasright.Charlottehadn’tpostedanythingsincetheday

beforesheleft.

Theonlywaytoknowshewasokaywouldbetocallher.

Toaskhowshewasdoing.

Tobeghertocomeback.

Itookadeepbreath.Fordays,thisdecisionhadbeenloomingoverme.I

thoughtagainaboutmymother,trappedinamarriagethatdidn’twork.Ithought

aboutSarah,who,despiteallherpositivequalities,hadn’tcometoShadyGrove

fortherightreasons.I’dbeggedthembothtostaywhenthey’dalreadymadeup

theirmindstoleave,andCharlotte...

Wasn’tshetheonewho’dwantedmetoaskhertostay?Wasn’theraskingme

anindicationthatsheneededmyvalidation—someproofthatIreally,truly

wantedherhere?

AndIdid.

Morethananything,Iwantedherherewithme.

So,whatthefuckareyoudoingmopingaroundhere,youidiot?

Iwhippedoutmyphone,andbeforeIcouldletmyownfearsconvincemeto

changemymind,bookedmyselfatickettoLosAngeles.Itmightneverworkout,

butgoddamnit,Iwasgoingtotry.

ChapterTwenty-Seven

Charlotte

Citylifewasn’thowIrememberedit.

WithinthefirstweekofarrivinginLosAngeles,I’dgottenmyselfajobasa

baristaandhadmadeacoupleofnewfriendswholikedtoparty.ButasmuchasI

triedtofitin,somethingstillstuckoutlikeasorethumb...andIwasbeginningto

thinkthatsomethingwasme.

Mymotherhadcalledafewmoretimes,tryingtoensureI’dgoseeadoctor.

MyfatherhadevencalledandinsistedthatifI’donlycomeback,Icouldworkfor

hiscompanyafterall.

ButnowthatI’dhadmyawakening,theirattemptsdidn’taffectmetheway

they’dhoped.Instead,Ilistenedtotheirconcerns,consideredeverythingthey

said,andhungupfeelingevenbetteraboutmydecisionthanIhadbefore.

Andeverysingletime,I’dwonderwithabittersweetpangifLukewouldbe

proudofme.

Ofcourse,thatthoughtoftenledmedownadarkanddangerouspath.Even

lookingatmyphonenowadayshadmescrollingthroughmycontactsanddouble-

checkingmytexts,justincaseI’dmissedamessage.

ButIknewIhadn’t.

Lukehadn’tpostedonFacebookorTwitter,andhedidn’thaveanInstagram

account.I’dstartedafewpostsofmyown,talkingaboutthewonderfulsunand

sandofCalifornia,butthendeletedthemandputawaymyphone.Iwasn’tgoingto

lietotheworldwhenIwasalreadylyingtomyself.

Californiawasbeautifulandsunnyandsandy,yes.Butitwaslonely,andthe

trafficsucked.Allthebuildingsfeltlikebigindustrialblockswithnocharmor

character,nothinglikethecutelittleshopsalongthemainstreetofShadyGrove.

IfLukecametoLosAngeles,allhewouldseewasthethinghehatedmost—

theridiculouscity-slickernonsensethatmadehimstaysofirmlyinShadyGrove

tobeginwith.Iwashavingahardtimeadmittingit,butImissedthewarmthand

charmofthatlittlespeckonthemap.

Whenmylatestshiftatthenearbycaféended,Ihungupmyapronandducked

underthecounter,punchingoutquicklybeforeIheadeddownthesidewalkand

backtoValentina’splace.

Itwasconvenient—onlyafewblocksaway—andwhenIapproached,Ifound

herputtingsomethinginmyold-but-new-to-meclunkerofacar.I’dsoldmyAudi

thedayafterIcutupmycreditcards,andstillhadn’tdecidedwhattodowiththe

moneyleftoverafterIboughtmyclunker.Myparentsrefusedtoaccepttheexcess

backsincethecarhadbeenagraduationgift,butIknewIwasn’tthatperson

anymore.IfeltlikeafrauddrivingacarIhadn’tpaidformyself.

“Whatareyoudoing?”Iasked.

Shelookedupatme,hereyeswide,remindingmeofacatthathadbeen

caughtwithitspawinthefishbowl.“Nothing.”

“Comeon,what’sup?”

“Look,I’mjust...I’mtryingtohelp.”

Iroundedthecarandpeeredinsidetoseemyownpurplesuitcaseinthe

backseat,alongsideValentina’sbrightorangeone.

“What’sgoingon?”Iasked,asizzleofapprehensionrunningthroughme.

Sheofferedmeahesitantsmile.“Okay,so...we’regoingtoTexas.”She

raisedherhandsandwiggledherfingerswithalittlesquealofexcitement.

“Surprise!”

Stunned,Istaredather.“Wecan’tgotoTexas,Val.It’sagruelingdrive.

WhichIknowbecauseIjustdroveit.Andbesides,I’vegotajob—”

“Oh,that?”shesaidwithadismissivewaveofherhand.“Iquititforyou.”

“Youwhat?”Ishouted,mystomachpitching.

Valentinasmiledalittlewider.“Yeah,Icalledthemafewminutesago,

pretendingIwasyou,andtoldthemtodaywasyourlastshiftbecauseyouhada

sickrelativeoutoftownwhoneededyou.”

Iblinked,unsureofwhattoevensaytothat.

“Oh,please,youhatedthatjob,Charlotte.Andifyouwantitsobad,theysaid

theytotallyunderstoodandyoucouldcomebackanytime.Factis,I’msickof

watchingyousitaroundandmope.IfwhatyouandLukehaveisit,likethereal-

dealtruelove?Thenyouneedtomakeaneffortforit.”

“Butwhataboutwhathewants?”

“Well,you’reclearlynothappyhere,honey.Plus,yousaidyouthinkhehasa

problemwithwomenleaving.Ifyouwanttoprovetohimhowdifferentyouare,

goingbackwouldmeantheworldtohim.”Valentinashrugged.“Soundssimple

enoughtome.Wecandriveinshiftstoshavesometimeoffthetrip,andwhenwe

getthere,I’llfindahoteltoshackupinandmakeafunvacationofit.Comeon,

sayyes.”

IlookedatthecarandflattenedmylipsintoalineasItriednottoletmy

excitementbuild.JustbecauseIwentbacktoShadyGrovedidn’tmeanthatLuke

wouldwanttoseemeonceIgotthere.

Thatfearlodgedinmythroat,soinsteadIvoicedanotherofmyfearsthat

mademealittlelesspanicky.“Doyouthinkthishunkofjunkcanevenmakeitthat

far?”

“Onlyonewaytofindout.Allyouhavetodoisgetinanddrive.”

Iglancedfromhertothesteeringwheel,thinkingofthepainfuldrivehere.I

hadn’tseenanyofthesweepingdesertlandscapeortheprettysunsets.I’dbeen

toodistractedbymytearsandtheacheinmychest.Thechancetoseeitallagain

...

Hell,whowasIkidding?ThechancetoseeLukeagain?

I’dgivejustaboutanythingforthat.

WhenIslidintothedriver’sseat,Valentinajumpedforjoy,literallyhopped

upanddownbeforeclimbinginbesideme,allsmiles.

“You’remyherorightnow.Lookatyou,allbadassandawesomeandtakinga

risk.I’msoproudofyou.”

“Calmdown,”Isaidwithachuckle.“We’regoingtochaseaboy.It’snotlike

wediscoveredthecureforcancer.”

Tobehonest,Iwasonlyplayingitcool.IfIhadmyway,I’dhavedone

somersaultsandcartwheelsalldownthestreetattheideaofseeingLukeagain.

ThiswaswhoIwantedtobeallalong—awomanwhoknewwhatshewantedand

grabbedlifebytheballs.Ijustneededalittleshovefrommybestie.

ButwhatwouldLukedowhenhesawme?Whatwouldhesay?

Jesus,whatifIgotthereandhewasn’talone?Couldhehavefoundanother

girlintheweekthatI’dbeengone?

Dreadcoiledthroughmeatthatthought,andValentinaandIdiscusseditat

lengthoverthenextseveralhours,alongwithmyspeechforLukeoncewe

arrived.Welaughedandtalkedaboutwhatwe’ddowhenwegottoShadyGrove,

andIpromisedheradaytriptoAustinsinceshe’dsacrificedsomuchformylove

life.

•••

Twodayslater,myheartstartedpoundingasIdrovethroughSanAntonio.

Valentinawokeupfromhernap,rubbinghereyesassheblinkedupatme.

“Arewegettingclose?”sheasked,hervoicestillhuskyfromsleep.

“Yup.”Mypalmssuddenlyslick,Iswipedonehandonmyshorts.

I’dbeensofocusedonhowrightthingscouldgowhenIsawLukeagain,I

hadn’treallyconsideredthealternative.Itwasonlysinkinginnowthatifhe

rejectedme,Icouldbemakingthereturndrivetomorrow...completely

heartsick.Vacationplanorno,therewasnowayIcouldstayinShadyGroveif

Lukedidn’twantmethere.Everysingleinchofthattownwasasearingreminder

ofourtimetogether.Stayingtherewouldbelikepouringsaltinawoundoverand

overagain.

Isuckedinasteadyingbreathandshotheratightsmile.“Almostthere.”

“Whatareyougoingtodowhenyouseehim?”sheasked,herdrowsiness

fadingasshegotthatrah-rahlife-coachlookinhereyes.

“I’m...”Iletoutadeepsigh,tryingtopushoutallmyfearsandnegative

feelingsalongwithit.“I’mgoingtotellhimthatI’mnotaskinghimforany

promises;I’mjustaskingforachance.ThatI’mgoingtostayandgivethisatry,

andthatnomatterwhathethinksbasedonhisex’sbehavior,Iknowthiscanwork.

I’mgoingtotellhimthatIhaven’tbeenthesamewithouthim,andthat...”

“That?”shepromptedmewhenIhesitated.

“I’mgoingtotellhimthatIlovehim.”Igroanedandsqueezedthewheelmore

tightly.“It’scrazythatweonlyspentaweektogether,butIfellhardandfast.I

can’tgoonwithoutknowingIgavethisafairshake.”

“That’smygirl.”Valentinagavemeanapprovingnod.

IpracticedmylittlespeechallthewaydowntheinterstateuntilIfinallytook

theexitthatledintoShadyGrove.Fromthere,thetriptotheWilderpropertywas

quickandeasy.MyheartthunderedasItooktheturnforthedistillery,andwhenI

reachedtheendoftheroad,myheartstoppedbeatingaltogether.

NotbecauseIsawLuke,althoughthatwouldhavedoneit.

Nope,mynormalbodilyfunctionshadceasedbecauseIwascertainthe

Mercedesparkedinthelittlevisitorlotnexttothebarnbelongedtononeother

thanonePrescottBillingsleytheSixth.

DearGod,whatthehellishappening?

ChapterTwenty-Eight

Luke

“Youcan’tbeserious,”Isaid,shakingmyheadindisbelief.

Theothermannodded,thentippedhisglasstome.“Pardonmylanguage,but

it’sbeennothingshortofafuckingdisaster.Herparentsarecallingmeeveryday

askingifI’veheardfromher,andshe’snotpickingupherdamnedphone.It’sbeen

atotalshitshow.”

“Tobeleftatthealtarlikethat,though.”Iletoutalowwhistleofsympathy.

Ithoughtithadbeenbadtohaveanengagementringreturnedtome.Butto

haveallmyfriendsandfamilyseemegetdumpedonwhatwassupposedtobethe

happiestdayofmylife?Icouldhardlyimagine.

Worseyet,Icouldn’tfigureoutwhyawomanwouldleavehim.Hewasa

decent-lookingguywithsandyhairandnice,kindeyes.Ifhewaslookingtoinvest

insomeoneelse’sbusiness,hewasclearlywelloffandgoodwithhismoney.In

thefewmomentswe’dspenttogether,he’devencrackedajokeortwo.

Iguessthatjustgoestoshowyou.Youneverknowwhatcanhappeninthis

life.

Afterthelastweek,Ishouldhaveknownthatbetterthananyone.I’dbarely

sleptawinksinceCharlotteleftme,andI’dknownshewasleaving.AllIcould

thinkofwasgettingclosetoheragain.Imaginethispoorguywithhisfiancée

jiltinghimlikethatwhenhe’dplannedonforeverwithher?Shemusthavebeena

realpieceofwork.

“Sorry,buddy.Thatsoundsreallytough.”Itouchedmyglasstohisagainand

webothtookanothersip.“Icantotallyunderstandwhyyou’dbethrowing

yourselfbackintobusinessthen.Jesus,man,”Isaid,shakingmyheadinquiet

commiseration.

“Actually,that’sonlypartofthereasonformyvisit.”Heleanedinwithasigh.

“I’mlookingforsomeone.”

ThefloorboardscreakedbehindusandIturnedinmychair,expectingtosee

Dukestrollin.WhatIsawmademenearlycoughuptheburningliquidsliding

downmythroat.

“Charlotte,”Isputtered.

ThenIrealizedIhadn’tbeentheonlyone.Themannexttomehadsaidher

nameatexactlythesametime.IglancedathimandturnedbacktoCharlotteto

findhergapingathim.

“What’sgoingon?”Iasked,mysurpriseandjoyatseeinghertemperedby

totalandcompleteconfusion.

“Speakofthedevil,”hemurmured,andCharlotte’seyebrowsinchedhigher.

Behindher,aslimwomanwiththick,darkhairedgedintotheroomandheld

upahand,wavingtomeshyly.“Hey,”shesaidinavoicericherthanI’dexpected.

“I’mValentina.AndyoumustbeLuke.”

“Uh,hi,”Isaid.“Maybeyoucouldexplain—”

Charlottestalkedtowardthemanbesidemeandfinallyseemedtofindher

voice.“Whatthehellareyoudoinghere?”

“Look,youmighthaveleftmebutthatdoesn’tmeanIstoppedcaring.You

postedonInstagram,soIdidsome—”

“Snooping,”shespatout,cuttingin.

“Research,”hesaid,correctingher,“andIcameheretomakesureyou’re

okay.Which,obviously,youare.”

Thistime,hiseyesfoundmineandsomethingclicked.

“Speakofthedevil.”

Iscrubbedahandovermyfaceandstoodfrommybarstool.“Thegirlyou

weretalkingaboutisCharlotte?”Iasked,andhegavemeaclippednod.“I

thoughtyouwereaninvestor—”

Charlotteletoutahumorlesslaugh.“So,youliedtohimtogettome?That’s

low,Prescott.Whoputyouuptothis?Myparents?”

“YousaidyournamewasScott,”Imuttered,mygutclenchinginshock.

Prescott?PrescottBillingsleywastheguysittingnexttome—theguywhohad

apparentlybeennothingtowritehomeabout?Exceptthatwasn’ttrueeither,

becauseshe’dbeenfuckingengagedtotheguy.Thewholetimeshe’dbeenhere,

she’dbeenengaged.Andshe’dlefthimhighanddry,justlikeSarahhaddoneto

me.Worsethanthat,Charlottehadliedtome.

“Iusethenameinbusinesssothere’snoconfusion.Myfatherisnamed

Prescottaswell.Andnobodyputmeuptoanything.”Heshookhishead,then

glancedatme.“I’msorry.Ihadn’thadachancetoexplain,andI’veneverturned

downafreeglassofwhiskey,which—consideringyouknowCharlotte—I’msure

youcanunderstand.”

Myheadspunagainastwinurgeswarredinsideme—onetoknockthisguy’s

fuckingheadofffortalkingaboutmywomanlikethat,andtheothertotearmyhair

outatthelunacyofthissituation.

“Whatthefuckisgoingon,Charlotte?”Ishouted.

Thewholetimeshe’dbeenhere,she’dbeenhiding.HidingfromPrescottand

fromherparents,andlyingtomeandmyfamilyaboutwhyshewashere.She

obviouslyhadn’tfeltthatshecouldtrustme,thatshedidn’tknowmewellenough

toconfideinme.AndhereI’dboughtatickettogotoherandtrytomakethis

work.

Honestly,Iwasn’tsurewhichpartofitstungthemost.

Littlesnippetsofmemoriesplayedthroughmymind—thewayshe’dsnapped

atmewhenI’dpressedheraboutherex,howangryshe’dbeenwhenshe’d

slammeddownherphoneinmykitchen,thewayshealwayslookedathercell

likeitwasabouttodetonateatanymoment.

“Nothingtowritehomeabout?”Iaskedquietly,andthenforcedmyselftolook

ather,wonderingifI’deverbeabletodothatagainwithoutfeelingsick.

Charlotte’sgazedartedbetweenPrescottandme,hereyesbrimmingwith

tears.“Youhavetounderstand—”

Iwasn’tinterestedinhearingit.IturnedonPrescott,nowrememberingthe

thingshe’dtoldmebeforeshewalkedthroughthedoor.He’dtalkedaboutwhata

painintheasshisfiancéehadbeen.Howhedidn’tloveher.Howhe’donlygone

afterhertomakesureshecleanedupherownmessbackhomebeforemovingon

withherlifelikenothinghadhappened.

“Whatthefuckiswrongwithyou?”Idemanded,myhandsballedintofistsat

myside.

Prescott’seyesnarrowed.“Whatthefuckiswrongwithme?What’swrong

withyou?”

“Youcouldn’tjustleaveherthefuckalone?”Igrowled.“Youdidn’tthink

she’dbeenthroughenough?”

“Ah.”Prescottnodded.“Sothat’showyouknoweachother.”

“Andwhat’sthatsupposedtomean?”

“Imeanyoufuckedher.Nottoputtoofineapointonit,”hemuttered.

AllIhadtodowasswing.Onepunchandhe’dbeonthefloor—thatwasthe

oneadvantageofgrowingupwithouthavingmoneytofixallmyproblems,I

supposed.Buthewassmallerthanme,obviouslyjustasconfused,andthefight

wouldn’thavebeenafairone.

NomatterhowmuchIwantedtoteachhimafuckinglesson.

“Don’ttalkaboutherlikethat.Orbetteryet,howaboutyoudon’ttalkabout

heratall?”Istarted,butthenCharlotte’shandwasonmychest,pushingmeback

towardthebar.

“Look,Icouldn’ttellyou,”shesaid,hereyespleading.Thensheturnedto

Prescott.“Youdidn’thavetocomehereanddothistome.”

“Dothistoyou?”Thistimeitwashisturntoletoutahumorlesslaugh.“Do

youhaveanyideawhatI’vebeendealingwith?Yourparentsarealloverme,and

Ihadtohandlethefalloutofyourbigbreakforfreedom.Theleastyoucould’ve

donewasreturnmycalls.”

Sheshookherhead,herhandstillpressedtomychestassherepliedtohim.“I

didn’twantyoutotrytoconvincemetochangemymind,”shewhispered

miserably.

“Changeyourmind?”Prescottshookhishead.“Idon’twantyouback.Your

leavingwasthebestthingthateverhappenedtome.Yousetusbothfree.I

realizedthattwosecondsafteryouleft,whenIfoundIfeltnothingbutsurprise

andrelief.ButIcan’thandlethefalloutonmyown.Youmightnotloveme,

Charlotte,butIknowyoucare.Justhelpmedealwiththismessandourfamilies.”

Herakedahandthroughhishairandgroaned.“Doyouhaveanyideawhatour

mothersareputtingmethrough?”

Asingletearsliddownhercheek.“Ididn’thurtyou?”

Prescottshookhishead.“MypridewaswoundedandIwaspissed,don’tget

mewrong,butIdon’tloveyou.Weweren’trightforeachother,andneverhave

been.Thefamilypressurewasjusttoostrongformetoseethat.”

“I—”shestarted,butIsidesteppedherandmademywayforthebarndoor.

“Well,I’mgladyouguyshaveworkedeverythingout.Haveagoodtimein

NewYork.Andlockuponyourwayout.”

IshovedthedooropenandscannedmysurroundingsforanythingIcouldhit,

somethingthatmightrelievethepressurebuildinginsideme,abouttoblow.

Becauseallthattime,Charlottehadbeenlyingtome.Allthatfuckingtime.

Fuck,runawaysmusthavebeenabletosmellmefromamileaway.Firstmy

motherandthenSarah,andnowCharlottetoo.

“Luke!”

CharlotteshoutedtomefromthebarndoorbutIwasalreadytoofaraway,and

hervoicewasnearlydrownedoutbythewhippingofthewind.

Ihadtogetbackhome,neededtotrytoreturnmytickettoLAandmoveon.

Alittlevoiceinsidemelaughed.Moveontowhat,Luke?Thenextfucking

tumbleweedthatrollsintoyourlifeandbackoutofit?

God,howcouldIhavebeensostupid?

MaybeIshouldhavegonebacktoshakePrescottBillingsleytheSixth’shand.

Imighthaveabrokenheart,buthemighthavejustsavedmefromtotal

annihilation.

ChapterTwenty-Nine

Charlotte

ThewindwhippedmyhairovermyfaceasIcalledforLukeagain,buthedidn’t

stopwalking.Infact,hedidn’tevenbothertoturnaround.

Partofmewantedtoruntheotherway.AdmitdefeatandacceptthatI’ddone

thistomyselfanddeservedwhateverhappenednext.Buttheotherpartwasso

damnedmadathimthatnothingelsematteredanymore.

Whateverhappened,heneededtohearthetruthfrommylips.Ifhestillhated

me,sobeit.AtleastIcouldgoonandtrytopiecesomesemblanceofalife

togetherwithnoregrets.

Itookonestepforward,thenstoppedasabigbluetruckrolledintothe

parkingareaandstoppednexttomysedan.Dukeclimbedfromthedriver’sseat

andblinkedatme,althoughheseemedmuchlesssurprisedtoseemethanhis

brotherhad.

“What’sthedeal?Iheardtherewasaninvestorhere?”Heglancedfrommeto

theothercarsandthengavemeaconfusedlook.“Andwherethehelldidyou

comefrom?”

“It’salongstory,”Isaid.

ThewindpickedupagainasValentinatrippedthroughthedoortojoinme.

ShestaredfromDuketomeandbackagain.

“Oh,sorry,I’lljust—”Shetriedtomove,butthenstopped.“Wait,youweren’t

wearing—”

“ThisisDuke.”Inoddedtowardhim.“Luke’stwinbrother.Luke’sgone,”I

murmured,mythroatstickingonthewords.

“Heythere,”Valentinasaidwithasmile,andwrinkledhernosewhenDuke

tippedthebillofhisballcaptowardher.“Charlotte,Prescottsayshestillwants

totalktoyou.”

“Doesithavetobethismoment?SurelyherealizesI’malittlebusyright

now?”Iaskedher,staringinLuke’swake.

“Yes,nowwouldbegood,Charlotte.”ThistimeitwasPrescottwhospoke,

pokinghisheadoutfrombehindthebarndoor.

Iletoutasighandturnedtofacehim.“I’msosorryforwhatIdidtoyou.It

wasimmatureandselfish,andyoudeservedbetter.I’mhappytodowhateverit

takestocleanupthemesswithourparentsthesecondI’mdonehere,okay?Ijust

needafewminuteswithLuke.Hewasn’tpartofanyofthis,andhe’sgotsomuch

goingonhere,tryingtogetthisbusiness—”

“That’swhatIwantedtotellyoubeforeIgotoutofyourhair,”hesaidwitha

halfsmile.“I’mnotmadanymore.IthinkIwasjustworried,andnowthatI’ve

seenyou...”Hegesturedaroundwithalittlelaugh.“NowthatI’veseenyouwith

allthisandhim,itmakesweirdsensetome.Igetit.Oddlyenough,Ithinkyou

belonghere.WhatIwantedtotellyouwasthatI’dliketoinvestinthedistillery.

AfteryouandLuketalk,I’dappreciateitifyouwouldgivehimmynumberand

askhimtogivemeacall.”

“What?”Iblinkedathiminsurprise.“Youdon’thavetodothat.You’vedone

nothingwronghere,and—”

“Believeme,Iknowthat.ButItriedyour...friend’sliquor,andIlikeit.He’s

gotsomethingspecialthatIthinkisaworthwhileinvestment.Him,thisplace...

it’sgotawholevibetoitthatIthinkcanbeahugemoneymaker.So,whenyou

workeverythingout,lethimknowthatI’llbeintouch.”Heshovedhishandsin

hispocketsandnoddedtoValentina.“Val.”

ShelookedfromPrescotttoDuke,apparentlyunsureofwhowasonwhatside,

andifsheshouldbemadatsomeoneornot.

“Thanks,Prescott,”Isaidsincerely,thelumpinmythroatgrowing.Whatever

happened,hisbeliefinLuke’sbusinessmademesofriggingproud,Icouldburst.

“You’reagoodman.”

“Andyoudon’tneedtocomeback.I’llhandlethingsinNewYork.Imostly

justcameheretomakesureyouwereokay,becausetheywerestartingtogetto

me.Yourmotherevenmentionedacult?”Helaughedandshookhishead.

“Anyway,you’reclearlyfine.”

“Ifyouneedanything,pleaseletmeknow.Idon’twanttoleaveyouholding

thebag.Thatwasnevermyintention.”

“IfIneedyou,I’llcall.”Henoddedagainandwavedagood-byetotheothers

beforeclimbingintohiscaranddrivingaway.

Iwatchedhimgo,thenturnedbacktoValentinaandDuke,whowereboth

staringatme.“IhavetogofindLuke.”

MyheartpoundedagaininpanicasIimaginedthekindofheadstarthe’d

managed.WhenImovedformycar,Dukeheldupahand.

“Inthat?”Hepointedtomybeat-upclunkerwithawince.“Isitevenstreet

legal?Wheredidyougetthatthing,ajunkyard?”

Irolledmyeyesandyankedopenthedoor.“Val,willyouentertainDukehere

andfillhiminoneverything?”

“ThatsoundslikesomethingIcouldgetbehind,”Dukesaid,hiseyesalight.

Valentina’slipsquirkedintoasmile.“Yeah,sure.Comeon,youcanpourmea

drink,”shesaid,andledhimintothebarn.

Islippedbehindthewheelandspedoffforthefarmhouse.Itwastheobvious

choice,butLukesimplyhadtobethere.Ifhewasn’t...

ThenI’dwait.He’dhavetocomehomesometime.I’dleftoncebeforewithout

tellinghimhowIfelt,andIwasn’tgoingtodoitagain.

•••

Ineedn’thaveworried.WhenIpulledupathishouse,itwastofindthefrontdoor

openandthehalllighton.

“Luke!”

Ishoutedhisnameandrushedintothehousebeforehecouldslamthedoorin

myfaceandlockit.Icalledhisnameagain,searchingthelivingroomandthenthe

kitchen.Atlast,Ifoundhimbehindtheold-fashioneddeskinhisoffice.

“Youdon’twanttodothis,Charlotte,”hesaidwithoutlookingup.Hewas

hunchedoverinthechair,apparentlyexaminingafewofthebrandingdesigns

we’dcomeupwith.

“Dowhat?Drivedayandnighttogethereandhaveyouignoreme?”Ishot

back.“Yep,you’rerightaboutthatone,andyethereIam.”

Hedidn’tlookup.“YoushouldgobacktoNewYorkwithyourhusband.”

“He’s...he’snotmyhusband,”Istammered,myhandsstartingtoshakeatthe

icychillinhisvoice.

“Onlybecauseyougotcoldfeetandlefthimatthealtar,”Lukemuttered.

“No.We’renotmarriedbecauseweweren’tmeanttobe,andIwassmart

enoughtoseeitbeforeitwastoolate.”Istalkedtowardthedeskandswipedmy

handoverthetopofit,sendingthepapersflyingintotheair.

Astheyfloatedtothefloorlikeconfetti,Lukesputtered,“Whatthe—”

Whenhefinallylookedup,Igrabbedhischin,forcinghimtomeetmygazeasI

pleaded,“Listentome.”

Hislipsthinnedintoaresoluteline,buthedidn’tpullaway.

“Icouldn’ttellyouabouthim.Atfirst,IthoughtIwasintownforsoshorta

timethatitwouldn’tmatter,andthen,well,Iwasrunningaway.Ididn’twantto

talkabouthimwithanyone,letalonewithyou.Don’tyousee?Ineededsometime

toprocessitall.Atleastgivemethechancetotellyouthewholestorynow.And

if,onceI’vefinished,youstillwantmetoleave,thenIwill.”

IreleasedLuke’schinbuthejustlookedatme,silentlywaitingformetogo

on.

Istartedinarushbeforehechangedhismind.“PrescottandImetatacharity

functionatourparents’countryclub.Heboughtadatewithmeatoneofthose

stupidbacheloretteauctions.”

Luke’smouthtwisted,buthedidn’tsayanything.

“Ilaterfoundoutthatourparentshadarrangedthingsthatway.Wetraveledin

thesamecircles,sothemoreIsawhim,themoreitseemedto...Idon’tknow,

work.Aftermydadrefusedtoletmeintothefamilybusiness,IthoughtIneededa

mantosupportmebecauseIwasn’ttalentedenough,andPrescottwasokaywith

that.Wegotalongfineandwe’refriends,but...Ineverlovedhim.Wenever

evenslepttogether.IonlyagreedtomarryhimbecauseIknewwhatwasexpected

ofme,butwhenIputonthatweddingdressatthechurchandsawmyselfinit,I

feltnothing.”

Ishookmyhead,rememberingthebone-chillingcalmI’dfeltthatday.

“IfIcouldhavecalleditoffbeforethatmoment—ifIcouldhaverealizedwhat

kindofmistakeIwasmaking—Iwouldneverhavelefthimthatway.Itwasan

awfulthingtodo.ButIdidn’trealizeuntilthen,andIcan’tfeelbadfornot

waltzingintoamarriagethatIdidn’twant.Icouldn’tbeartothinkoflivingmy

wholelifewithouteverfeeling...well,withouteverfeelingthewayIfeelabout

you.”

SilencehungbetweenusandIwaitedforLuketosaysomething,anything.But

hedidn’t.Hejuststaredatme,studyingmewithaninscrutableexpression.

“Ididn’twanttoloveyou,youknow,”Itoldhim.“Itdoesn’tmakeanysense

tospendoneweekwithsomeoneandfallsodeeplyinlovethatyoucan’tgoon

withyourlifethewayyou’dplanned,butwhenIgottothecity,allIcouldthink

aboutwasyou.Ididn’twanttogotopartieswithstrangers.Iwantedtositaround

apicnictablewithyourfamilyanddrinkwhiskeyandjust...live.Havefamily

dinners.Lieinyourbedallnightjusttalkingtoyou.”

Ichewedhardonmybottomlip.“Icameheretotellyouthat.Itfeltlike

somethingyoushouldknow,butIdon’tneedyoutoaskmetostay.Becauseno

matterwhatyoudo,I’mstayinghere.Iwasn’tgoingto.Ifyoudidn’twantme,I

wasgoingtoturntailandleave.Butyouknowwhat?Iloveithere.AndIlove

you.Ifyouwantmetoleave,you’regoingtohavetocallthesherifftogetmeout,

youunderstand?”

Thosecoolgreeneyesofhisdriftedovermeagain,andhetippedhisheadina

singlenod.“WhatifyouchangeyourmindlikeyoudidaboutPrescott?Whatif

youwakeuponedayandrealizethatthiswasn’twhatyoureallywanted?”

Itwasafairquestion,butdamn,diditcutdeep.

Itookhishandinmineandheldittightly,tryingmybestnottoburstintotears.

“BecausethisisthefirsttimeinmylifeIeverknewanythingforsure.Iknowit

downtothebottomofmysoul,andthat’snotgoingtochange.Thereareno

guaranteesinlife;youknowthat.YoucoulddecidetomorrowthatI’mnottheone

foryoutoo.Butguesswhat?Iknowthatthis...whatwehave?It’sworththerisk.

Taketheleapwithme,Luke.Iwon’tletyoudown.”

Hewasquietforsolong,Ithoughtitwasover.I’dlost.Butthenhishand

tightenedonmineandhepulledmeontohislapwithagroan.

“Everydaysinceyouleft,”hesaid,“I’vefeltlikeanidiot.Ithinkaboutyou

allthetime—I’msurroundedbyyourideasandyourbrilliance.Yousavedmy

familyandthedistillery,and...me.Ineedyoutostaywithme.I’mbeggingyou

tostay,becauseIloveyou.IwaswrongtoreactthewayIdid,andI’msorry,

baby.Ifyoueverneedtorunagain,justpromisethistimethatyou’lltakemewith

you.”

Iblinkedhard,andhekissedthetearnowslidingdownmycheek.Hismouth

movedlowerashetookmybottomlipbetweenhis,suckingonthetenderskin.My

tonguesweptouttomeethisasItrembledwithjoyandrelief.

Itwasokay.Weweregoingtobeokay.

Itmighthavebeenaninstantoranhourbeforehebrokeourkiss,butwhenhe

did,Iclearedmythroatandgrinned.

“Ihavesomemoregoodnewsforyoutoo,”Isaid.

“I’vealreadygotthebestnewsintheworld.”Hekissedmyforehead.“You’re

here.”

“Fine,thenIwon’ttellyou,”Iteased,andhegavemealittleshake.“Okay,

okay.Youhavetwonewinvestorsforthedistillery.”

“Ido?”Heraisedhiseyebrows.

“Prescottwantsin.”

Lukelookedconflictedaboutthatforamoment.“Andtheother?”

“Isoldmycar.It’snotmuch,butIdohavealittlemoneytoplaywith.Iwas

hopingIcouldcomeonaspartoftheteam?”

“Youwanttoinvestinthedistillery,”hesaidslowly,asifhecouldn’tbelieve

it.

“OfcourseIdo.Ibelieveinyou.”

Lukesweptmeupintoanotherheart-stoppingkiss.“Dammit,Iloveyou,”he

whisperedashecuppedmycheek.“Don’teverleavemeagain,duchess.”

“Inever,everwill.”

Epilogue

Charlotte

Sixmonthslater

Itdidn’ttakemelongtogetmybigfancycarback.

Itwasn’tabrand-newmodel,hadn’tevenbeenmadeinthelastfiveyears,but

itwasmine.Andevenbetter?

Thistime,Ihadearnedit.

Today,itwasdolledupwithJ

UST

ARRIED

inwhitepaintonthebackwindow,

andstreamersandcanstiedtothebumper.

Fromawindowinthebackroomofthebarnwe’dbeendressingin,Ilooked

outatitasIsmiledtomyself,knowingwhatmyparentswouldthinkwhenthey

finallyarrived.Butthenagain,Iwasgettingbetteraboutnotcaringwhenmymom

didherbesttowrinkleherBotoxedface,orwhenmyfathertriedtoslidemea

creditcardIdidn’tneed.

Theymeantwell.Theywerejusttryingtotakecareofmeintheirownway.

ButIcouldtakecareofmyselfnow.AndwhenIcouldn’t?Well,that’swhat

Lukewasfor.HehadmybackandIhadhis.

Valentinaopenedthedoorthatledoutside,herhandsfilledwithwildflowers.

Sincetheyspranguplikeweedsalloverthefarm,Ihadn’tbotheredtobuyany

bouquets.

“Oh!”Mollysquealedfrombehindme.“Areweputtingthoseinourhair?”

“Idon’tseewhynot.”Valentinashruggedandglancedatmeforapproval.

Ismiled.“Don’tlookatme.Idon’tcarewhatyoudowithyourhair.”

Mollysnatchedupafewbrightpinkandyellowblooms,thenrushedtothe

mirrorandtuckedthemintotheelaboratebraidcirclingherhead.Ihadtoadmit,

thecolorswentwellwiththeblush-coloredbridesmaiddresses.

“Igotsomewhiteonestoo,”Valentinasaid.

Mollyturnedaround,grinningatmeasValentinasteppedcloseandadjusted

myveil.Gently,shetuckedthesprigsinahalo-likecrownallaroundthetulle.

Whenshefinished,Ilookedinthemirrorandmybreathcaught.

Itcouldn’thavefeltanymoredifferentfrommyfirstwedding.

Lookingatmyselfwearingtheprettyantique-lacegownandwithsimple

wildflowersinmyhair...Ifeltlikemyself.LikeI’dfinallyfoundwhereI

belonged.

AndlikeIwasabouttoenterintothebest,mostamazingjourneyofmylife.

“So,explaintomeagainwhowe’rewalkingdowntheaislewith?”Valentina

asked.

“Molly’swalkingalone.Andyou’rewalkingwithDuke,”Isaidforwhatfelt

likethemillionthtime.

Eversincetherehearsaldinnerthenightbefore,thisseemedtobeapoint

Valentinajustcouldn’tgetthroughherhead...orrather,wouldn’tgetthroughher

head.

“ButMollyandDukearesiblings.Shouldn’ttheywalktogether?”Valentina

asked.“Oh,orwecoulddoathree-personsortofsandwichsetup.”

Irolledmyeyes.“Idon’tthinkyou’dallfitdowntheaislelikethat.You’rethe

maidofhonorandhe’sthebestman—youwalktogether.What’ssoscaryabout

walkingdowntheaislewithDuke,anyway?”

“Shelikeshim,”Mollysang,agrinspreadingacrossherface.

“Stopit.Idonot.I...”Valentinasearchedforthewords,butherfacewas

alreadyturningred.“Hejustmakesmeuncomfortableisall.”

“Hmm.”Inodded.“Right.Now,putsomeflowersinyourhair.It’salmost

showtime.”

Icouldhearthebuzzofconversationcomingfromoutside,andknewthatthe

wholetownwasouttherewaitingforus,forme.Ashiverofnervousnessran

throughme.Thiswasn’tonlyourfirstweddinghereattheWilderFarm,anevent

wedesperatelyneededtogowell,itwasmywedding.

Mollycameupbehindmeandputherarmaroundmyshoulders.“You’regoing

tobegreatupthere.Ijustcamefromseeingmybrother,andI’veneverseen

anybodyso—”

“Scared?”Ioffered.

“Happy,”shesaid.

Musicrangoutfromthelocalbandthatwe’dhired,andIturnedtofind

Valentinaonmyotherside,sprigsofflowerslacedthroughherhair.Shehandeda

makeshiftbouquetofwildflowerstoMollyandkepttherestforherself.

“Whataboutme?”Iaskedwithapout.

“Well...”Mollyopenedthedoorandbeckoned,andDukepeeredaroundthe

doorframewithagiantbouquetofpinkgerberadaisiesandbaby’sbreathinhis

hands.

“Mybrothersaidhisbridehadtohavethebest,”hesaidwithawink.

Iclutchedtheflowersandtookalong,deepbreathoftheirlightspringtime

fragrance.AsmallcardwastuckedintothebloomsandIsnatcheditout,reading

thewordsquickly.

Knock’emdead,duchess.I’llbeuptherewaiting.

Ismiledandtuckedthecarddownthebodiceofmydressforsafekeeping.

Thiswasit—thebigmoment.

MollyandValentinaslippedfromtheroomandIturnedagain,takingonelast

lookinthemirrorbeforethemusicchanged,signalingmyentrance.Myfather

wouldbewaitingoutsidethedoorforme,hisarmoutstretched,waitingtowalk

metowardthemanofmydreams.ThenLukewouldbethereatthegazebowiththe

minister,countingonme.

Andhecouldcountonmeallhewanted.

BecausewhenIgottohisside?Therewasnochanceofmegoinganywhere

elseinthiswholewideworld.

Momentslater,weheadedout,andthreestepsdownthegrassypathlittered

withflowers,mygazemetLuke’s.Awarmshiverracedovermyskinasthe

emotioninhiseyeshitme.I’dneverseenhimfilledwithsuchawe—orsuchsheer

happiness.AndIknewinthatmomentthatourlifetogetherwouldbebeautiful.I

couldenvisionitall—laughter,love,passion,babies,andallthesweetwhiskey

kissesIcouldhandle.

Foreverandever.

Acknowledgments

Iwouldliketosayabigol’countrythank-youtoauthorElizabethLeeforyour

guidancewiththisstory.Thankyouforprovidingsomecreativedirectionandonly

makingfunofmeafewtimeswhenIdidn’tknowtheproperterminologytouse.

Youareasweetheart!I’mblessedtocallyouafriend.

Myteamiseverythingtome,andIcouldn’tdothiswithoutyou.I’dliketo

squeezeDanielleSanchez,PamBerehulke,andAlyssaGarcia.Abigthank-youto

SarahHansenandSaraEirew,whoprovidedthebeautifulcoverdesignand

photography.Thisbookcoverisoneofmyfavorites.

IwishIcouldgiveeverysinglereaderatackle-hug!ThatishowgratefulIam

foryou.Itrulyappreciateeveryreview,read,andmentionofmybooks.

Manythanks!

AbouttheAuthor

ANewYorkTimes,WallStreetJournal,andUSATODAYbestsellingauthorof

morethantwodozentitles,KendallRyanhassoldovertwomillionbooks,and

herbookshavebeentranslatedintoseverallanguagesincountriesaroundthe

world.HerbookshavealsoappearedontheNewYorkTimesandUSATODAY

bestsellerlistmorethanthreedozentimes.Ryanhasbeenfeaturedinpublications

suchasUSATODAY,Newsweek,andInTouchMagazine.ShelivesinTexaswith

herhusbandandtwosons.

Tobenotifiedofnewreleasesorsales,joinKendall’sprivateMailingList.

Website:www.kendallryanbooks.com

Facebook:KendallRyanBooks

Twitter:@kendallryan1

GetevenmoreoftheinsidescoopwhenyoujoinKendall’sprivateFacebook

group,Kendall’sKinkyCuties:

www.facebook.com/groups/140575819476413/

OtherBooksbyKendallRyan

UnravelMe

MakeMeYours

WorkingIt

CravingHim

AllorNothing

WhenIBreakSeries

FilthyBeautifulLiesSeries

TheGentlemanMentor

SinfullyMine

Bait&Switch

Slow&Steady

TheRoomMate

ThePlayMate

TheHouseMate

TheBedMate

TheSoulMate

HardtoLove

RecklessLove

ResistingHer

TheImpactofYou

Screwed

MonsterPrick

TheFixUp

ForacompletelistofKendall’sbooks,visit:

http://www.kendallryanbooks.com/all-books/

Document Outline

Table of Contents
About the Book
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter Twenty-Four
Chapter Twenty-Five
Chapter Twenty-Six
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Epilogue
Acknowledgments
About the Author
Other Books by Kendall Ryan

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