She’s had the fantasy, now it’s time for the real thing…
Security Company CEO Josh Slater put his life on hold when he said “I do” to protect a stranger. While his marriage was never meant to
be real—he hasn’t even seen his wife in five years—Josh can’t shake the idea that he’d be cheating if he moves on. Now he’s a man
with a mission: chase down his “wife,” get an annulment, and finally indulge in a little no-strings sex.
Heiress Alexia Slater entered into a marriage of convenience straight out of high school to gain control of her inheritance before her
not-so loving family squandered the whole thing. She doesn’t want the marriage to be real—she’s fought hard for her independence—but
that hasn’t stopped her from spending the last five years fantasizing about her gorgeous husband.
Then he shows up.
Josh wants an annulment. Lexi needs to stay married. When the chemistry explodes between them, there’s no stopping the battle of
wills only one of them can win…
Table of Contents
Dedication
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Epilogue
Acknowledgments
About the Author
Discover the Things to Do Before You Die series…
If you love sexy romance, one-click these steamy Brazen releases…
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the
author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons,
living or dead, is coincidental.
Copyright © 2016 by Nina Croft. All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce, distribute, or
transmit in any form or by any means. For information regarding subsidiary rights, please contact the
Publisher.
Entangled Publishing, LLC
2614 South Timberline Road
Suite 109
Fort Collins, CO 80525
Brazen is an imprint of Entangled Publishing, LLC. For more information on our titles, visit
Edited by Candace Havens
Cover design by Heather Howland
Cover art from Shutterstock
ISBN 978-1-63375-579-6
Manufactured in the United States of America
First Edition April 2016
To Rob—my very own fantasy husband.
Chapter One
On days like today, Lexi Slater was glad she was her own boss.
Her desk was covered with a gargantuan pile of stuff, along with every other surface in her office.
She had nothing on her schedule until her afternoon meeting with the Wildlife Trust people, and it was
still an hour until lunch. She could clean up.
Nah.
Really, what was the point? It would only get messy again.
A sense of peace filled her. Her office was a mess and there was absolutely no one to complain
about it. She kicked off her sandals, rested her bare feet on the desk—knocking off a pile of
magazines in the process—and sat back.
The phone rang, and she reached under a pile of fabric samples—covers for the new beds at the
rescue center—and picked it up.
“Lexi Slater here.”
Sadie’s voice came down the line, her tone hushed. “I know it’s you, Lexi. I’m your assistant, and
you’d know it’s me if you let me clean your desk so you could actually see your phone.”
“A clean desk is a sign of a…” She was sure it was a sign of something.
“An organized mind?” Sadie suggested.
“Exactly, and who wants one of those?” She frowned. “Anyway, why are you phoning? And why
are you whispering? Why not come in? I’m only through the door.” There was a little silence.
Something was wrong. “What is it?”
“There’s someone here to see you.”
“I’m not scheduled for any meetings.”
Sadie’s voice dropped even lower. “This is definitely not a scheduled meeting.”
“Who is it?” Her mind ran over the list of possibilities.
“You’re never going to guess.”
“Sadie, I will fire you.”
“No, you won’t, because then I’d be jobless and poor and probably homeless as well. And more to
the point, so would my cat.”
Lexi sighed. Why had she employed Sadie? Oh, yes, because she’d been jobless and poor and
living on the street. But honestly, while she loved her dearly, she was a crap assistant. “Tell me.”
“I’m not sure if this is true, because really she looks nothing like you, but she says she’s your
grandmother.”
The world stopped. No way. Then everything started moving super-fast. “Five minutes,” she
squeaked into the phone. “Just give me five minutes.”
“I’ll try,” Sadie said drily.
Lexi leaped to her feet. She stared around the room for a moment in blind panic.
Oh. My. God. This wasn’t happening. Her grandmother was supposed to be in New York. She hated
leaving New York, hated coming to London, claimed the city held nothing but bad memories. It had
been the only thing that had allowed Lexi’s life to work over the last five years, the only way her
marriage of convenience hadn’t been exposed for the lie it was.
Old habits die hard—especially ones ingrained from childhood—and she stared around her in
horror.
She has no control over you. She has no control over you.
She repeated the mantra in her head, but her insides churned like they were on a roller coaster.
Why was her grandmother here?
This can’t be good.
Keep it together. She doesn’t know anything. And she won’t find out.
She opened the big bottom drawer in her desk and swiped everything off the surface and into it,
then slammed it shut.
Wait.
She opened the drawer again, scrabbled beneath the rubble, hooked her fingers on the pile of
photographs at the back, and dragged them out.
For a second, she stared at the top photo—her and Josh on their fourth anniversary celebratory
holiday. They’d visited the Seychelles for a wonderful romantic break in the sun. Actually, she’d gone
trekking in Nepal on her own, but it was amazing what Photoshop could do.
She put the picture prominently on her desk and placed the others around the room. The wedding
photo. She looked so young and sort of round. But she’d hated boarding school and had spent a lot of
time comfort eating. Once away from there, she’d found other comforts. The first anniversary—she’d
slimmed down a lot by then, thank God. The second and third anniversary photos. They always
managed to go somewhere nice.
In my fantasies.
Okay, office sorted. She glanced down at herself. There was very little she could do there. Not in
the time she had. Though actually, time was irrelevant. She’d always been a disappointment to her
grandmother, especially in the looks department. In a family of tall, slender women, and tall, broad-
shouldered men, Lexi was a misfit.
Swapped by the hospital.
Her evil stepsister had once told Lexi she’d overheard that little theory. Sometimes Lexi believed it
to be true, except she’d seen pictures of her mother. While Lexi didn’t have her tall, slim figure—total
bummer—she did have her eyes and her dark red hair and freckles. Another mark against her.
She made do with tucking her hair behind her ears and wiping her sweaty palms down her jeans.
She was plastering an inane smile on her face as the door opened—and there stood her grandmother.
Unfortunately, not the round, cuddly, cookie-baking type of grandmother. Lexi doubted Grandmamma
had ever baked anything in her life.
She was beautiful. Probably always would be. Age wouldn’t change that; the beauty went right
down to the bones. She’d once told a fourteen-year-old Lexi that good bone structure was the most
important feature a woman could have. Lexi had spent many hours afterward prodding her plump
cheeks, searching—in vain—for bones.
Grandmamma wore a Chanel suit and high-heeled pumps, her hair in a perfect chignon.
Lexi sighed and resisted the urge to fidget, which always wound her grandmother up. But what the
hell was she doing here? And why did this woman still have the ability to turn her into a mindless
moron? Pathetic. Insecure. A wimp.
She came to a halt just inside the room, her gaze sweeping over Lexi. “You’re looking well,
Alexia,” she said.
“I am?” That seemed unlikely.
“Although, shoes would probably help.”
She glanced down at her bare toes, curled against the hardwood floor. Where the hell were her
shoes?
Her assistant cleared her throat. “Would you like some coffee?” Sadie asked.
Lexi dragged her attention from her feet and raised an eyebrow at her grandmother.
“No, thank you, Alexia. Your company is all I require.”
Hmm, why did that send a ripple of unease down her spine? “Thank you, Sadie. You can close the
door behind you.”
Sadie’s face dropped at being excluded from the fun. Lexi glared, and her assistant backed out,
closing the door behind her.
When she returned her attention to her grandmother, she was at the desk, staring down at the photo
of Josh. She picked it up and studied it with narrowed eyes.
Lexi’s breath caught in her throat. She cleared it with a cough, the sound like thunder in the too-
quiet room. “That was our fourth wedding anniversary,” she mumbled. “We went to the Seychelles.”
Her grandmother put the photo down. “I can’t believe he has the time to take you on all these
holidays”—she waved a hand at the other photos around the room—“and yet in nearly five years he
has never found the time to visit your only family.”
She licked her dry lips. “He’s away so much. We just want to be together when he’s free.” It may be
time for a little forward planning. “For our fifth we’re thinking of re-affirming our vows. Josh has
always hated it that we married in a registry office, but he couldn’t wait. Now he thinks a beach in
Mauritius.”
Oh what a tangled web…
She hated lying. If she did it for too prolonged a period, she came out in a rash.
“How…romantic.” Her grandmother pursed her lips. Romance was not high on her priority list.
“He’s a very handsome man, if a little…rough around the edges. And when do you think the rosy glow
will fade enough for the pair of you to come and visit us? Perhaps we could all have dinner together
while we’re in town.”
Never going to happen.
“Unfortunately, you’ve just missed him. He left yesterday. He’ll be out of the country for…ages, but
otherwise…”
“Don’t you want him to meet your family?”
Hell no.
“Of course I do.” Not. “But he might feel a little out of place.” She smiled. “As you said—he’s a
little rough. Not like you and Daniel.” Daniel was her grandmother’s fourth husband—they’d married
when Lexi was eighteen—a New Yorker and one of the reasons Lexi had made the somewhat
impetuous decision she had back then.
Her grandmother’s eyes narrowed even further, studying Lexi with an intensity that made her twitch.
“When are you going to give up this little hobby?” She waved a hand around the office.
Hardly a hobby. It was a registered charity with a turnover of millions of pounds. But Lexi just
smiled sweetly.
When she didn’t answer, her grandmother continued. “At some point you have to accept that you
can’t save the whole world. Or buy love.”
Lexi’s cheeks flushed, but she kept her smile fixed in place. She wasn’t trying to buy love. Was
she? She liked helping people, and she had the money, so why shouldn’t she help them?
“Why not come back to New York?” Now her grandmother’s tone was conciliatory, and Lexi
wasn’t buying it. “We’ll hire you one of those personal trainers to get you in shape, and maybe
introduce you to my personal shopper. You’ll fit in—all it takes is a little effort.”
Lexi gnashed her teeth. “I’ll give it some serious consideration.” Like hell she would.
Her grandmother gave her a sharp look. “It’s time for you to forgive us, Lexi. When are you going
to admit that we only wanted what’s best for you?”
Crap.
Though maybe, in her way, her grandmother had only wanted what was best—but for herself and
her own narrow-minded view of what mattered in life, so totally different from Lexi’s that throughout
her childhood she’d felt like a changeling. It had taken a jolt to make her realize she had to find a way
out before she lost herself completely.
“I have forgiven you.” Like, never. “It’s just our lives are so different now. You live on another
continent, I’m married…” She resisted the urge to cross her fingers behind her back.
“Well, you can come to dinner tonight. Daniel has a favor to ask you.”
“He does?” She couldn’t begin to imagine what. And that was another lie. There was only one thing
Daniel and her grandmother ever wanted from her—money.
Though usually her grandmother kept the requests to Lexi’s once-a-year visit to New York.
“We’re at the Ritz,” her grandmother said. “Eight o’clock and don’t be—”
The telephone rang, interrupting her flow. Lexi gave her a weak smile, edged around her, and
picked up the phone. The flashing red light indicated it was Sadie. “Yes?”
“You have another visitor.” Once again Sadie was speaking in hushed tones.
“I do?” Gosh, she was popular.
“Yeah. And just let me say…wow! You lucky girl. I’ll send him straight in.”
Sadie ended the call before Lexi could answer. Him? A really bad feeling was swelling up inside
her. What were the chances? She stared at the closed door, her eyes growing wide, her legs growing
weak as the handle turned…
…
The receptionist stood with her back to him, whispering into the phone. She’d seemed to recognize
him, which was strange and unexpected.
Joshua Slater shifted his weight onto his good leg, rubbing absently at his thigh as he waited. He’d
broken the leg six weeks ago when the cruise ship he was working on had crashed and sunk in the
Mediterranean. Now his mind drifted back to that night and the decision he’d made while floating in
the lifeboat afterward. Coming face-to-face with death had a way of making you reassess your life,
decide what was important.
Maybe he should have gotten his lawyer to send the annulment papers, but he thought it only polite
to visit in person. He wasn’t expecting any opposition. Whatever his “wife’s” reasons were for
entering into a fake marriage nearly five years ago, her circumstances had no doubt changed. Like his.
The receptionist turned with a big grin. “You can go right on through”—she nodded to a door
opposite—“Lexi is going to be thrilled to bits to see you.”
She is? Doubtful.
A case of mistaken identity perhaps? He could feel a frown forming between his eyes. This wasn’t
going as planned, and he hated the unexpected. Casting the receptionist a last look, he shook his head,
and strode toward the door.
He pushed it open and peered into the room. His gaze locked on a small redhead in jeans and a
white T-shirt, who stood in front of a big, wooden desk. Her eyes were wide and filled with…
horror? He took a step into the room and opened his mouth to explain who he was—just as she
launched herself toward him.
“Josh!”
He didn’t have time to answer as she crashed into his chest. His bad leg almost gave out beneath
him. He braced it, reached instinctively for the door for balance, but it slammed shut behind him, and
the force of her momentum backed him up against the wood. Her fingers were clenched on his
shoulders, her legs wrapped around his waist, and one of his hands automatically curled around her,
holding her in place.
His cock stirred in his pants at her closeness, her smell, her hot breath—
Jesus.
He shook his head. Definitely not what he expected. She was staring into his face, and he had the
strangest impression she was trying to tell him something. Her eyes were huge, and she had the
longest, curliest lashes he had ever seen. He opened his mouth again as she lowered her head and
kissed him.
His mind went blank, and his body came to instant alert, heat sizzling along his nerves.
Her lips were closed, and she was jamming her mouth hard against his. But she was soft and
curved in all the right places, and it had been years since he’d had a woman in his arms.
Leaving one hand on her ass, holding her in place, he brought his other up to burrow in the soft
curls at the base of her neck. She backed off slightly at his touch. He really needed to tell her who he
was. Why he was here.
“Easy, honey. I’m—”
Her lips came down on his again, cutting off his words. Her breasts pressed against his chest, her
legs tightened around him, rubbing against his cock so the blood drained from his veins, sinking to his
groin. He groaned against her lips.
What the hell?
How long had it been? Too long, and his instincts took over, taking control of the kiss.
He turned her so she was pressed up against the door, his hardening erection nudging against her
softness. She went still, raised her head. Her eyes widened, and her mouth fell open, and he lowered
his and thrust his tongue inside. She tasted sharp and spicy, with a hint of honeyed sweetness. She was
still for a second, and then she was kissing him back, her tongue pushing against his, her hands fisting
in the hair at his nape.
Not why I’m here.
A little voice nagged at his brain saying something was wrong with this scenario. But then she
pressed even closer so her firm—and amazingly full—breasts flattened against him, and his dick got
even harder, draining the last of the blood from his brain and shutting down the annoying nagging.
Unfortunately, it didn’t cut out the noise from behind him. He wanted to ignore it. His body liked
where it was and what it was doing, and he didn’t want to stop. Then someone cleared their throat for
a second time, and he went still. He removed his tongue from where it had no right to be—but hell,
she’d accosted him—and leaned away a little so he could look down into her face.
Encountering her dazed expression, he gave her a little jiggle. She shook her head. Her eyes were
huge, wide open, and they darted from his face to beyond his left shoulder and filled with alarm. Her
attention came back to him, and a look of desperation, then pleading, filled her face.
“Josh.” Her voice was low, breathy, and his dick twitched. “I’d like to introduce you to my
grandmother.”
Grandmother?
He swallowed.
What the fuck?
His turn to shake his head. The morning had taken on a surreal quality. But at least his dick was
wilting in his pants.
What the hell was I thinking?
He still had her pinned against the door, her legs wrapped around his waist, her hands at his
shoulders. He tried to pull away, but her fingers tightened, and he had to tug them free before placing
her on the floor. She gazed up at him pleadingly.
“Please.” She mouthed the word, presumably so her “grandmother” wouldn’t hear.
Obviously she wanted something from him. But what? He’d play along for now, if only as a thank-
you for the hottest kiss he could ever remember. He gave a brief nod, and she sagged, then stiffened
her spine and stood up straight.
When she’d hurled herself toward him, she’d appeared…bigger. She was actually more than a foot
shorter than him in her bare feet. Bare feet? He shook his head again.
She had to tilt her head to look up at him. “Josh,” she said, her voice husky as though she’d just had
the breath kissed out of her. “You’re back. I thought you’d be away much longer.”
“I…” He was used to thinking on his feet, but his brain felt like mush. “…missed you too much?”
She gave him a grateful smile. “Aw, you’re so sweet.” She went up on tiptoe and kissed him
quickly on the lips. “Well, come meet my grandmother. She’s flown in from New York and was saying
how she hoped to meet you this time.”
He supposed he had to turn around sometime. This was so fucking awkward. He gave a quick
glance down his body. At least his erection had subsided sufficiently to not be a total embarrassment.
He turned slowly.
A woman stood on the other side of the office—every well-groomed inch of her screaming “rich
and elitist.” He disliked her on sight. She was returning his perusal with a similar lack of enthusiasm.
He gave what he hoped was a charming smile, though charm had never been one of his strong
points. “Sorry about the kiss, ma’am, but it’s been awhile.”
She pursed her lips. “All of one day, I understand.”
Shit. “It felt like much longer.”
She looked down the length of his body, one eyebrow rising slightly. Did she hesitate at his crotch,
or was he just feeling sensitive? He’d dressed casually for the meeting, mainly because he usually
dressed casual and could see no reason to change the habits of a lifetime. But his faded jeans and
black T-shirt clearly weren’t impressing her.
She sniffed. “Well, Alexia, it’s clear why you married him.”
Why didn’t he think she meant that as a compliment?
“Thanks,” his “wife” said from beside him. “Now, I’m sure Josh just popped in to say hi, and he
has important things to do.” She rested a small hand on his arm and gave a tiny tug. She was trying to
throw him out. But he had things to say, and he wasn’t leaving until he’d said them.
He wrapped an arm around her and pulled her close, felt her small body stiffen at his side. “I can
stay awhile, babe. There’s something I need to talk to you about.”
She winced at the endearment. “I have a meeting in a little while. We can talk tonight.”
“That’s okay, honey, what I have to say will only take a little while.”
She gritted her teeth and opened her mouth to speak, but she was beaten to it by her grandmother.
“Mr. Slater—”
“Call me Josh.”
“Josh. And I’m Valerie. You must accompany Alexia when she joins us for dinner tonight. Meet the
family at long last.”
Lexi spoke quickly. “Oh, I don’t think—
“Of course, I’d love to,” he said and then had no clue why, except maybe to wind her up. After all,
she’d kissed him and now she couldn’t get rid of him fast enough.
“Wonderful.” The older woman turned to Lexi. “Isn’t that wonderful, Alexia?”
She pasted on a bright smile. “Absolutely fabulous, Grandmamma.”
“I’ll look forward to it,” he said. “I don’t know why we haven’t met before.”
“I have a few ideas,” her grandmother replied. “Now, I must be off. But I’ll see you both this
evening. And why don’t you see if you can persuade Alexia into a dress, Josh.”
“I’ll do my best, ma’am.”
“I’m sure you will.”
They stood in silence as she left the room, the door closing softly behind her. Josh dropped his arm
from around Lexi and stepped back. She didn’t move and didn’t speak. He wandered away, then
turned so he could study her.
The girl he remembered from their one brief meeting in the registry office was still there. At the
time, he’d not really paid attention to her. It had been obvious that they had nothing in common. She
was just a rich kid, a business proposition, not his type at all—he liked tall, leggy blondes. She still
wasn’t his type, but she had a lush little body, all soft curves shown off in faded jeans that clung to the
swell of her hips, and a white T-shirt stretched over full breasts, her nipples poking at the material.
Had she been as aroused by that kiss as him? Or had it all been purely for show?
He forced his gaze upward. She had a mop of unruly red corkscrew curls, which she was
continuously pushing behind her ears. She wore no makeup, but her skin was clear, except for the
freckles across the bridge of her nose. Her eyes were huge and her most startling feature—golden,
with flecks of brown, and fringed by thick, curly lashes.
He’d thought them black but this close he could see they were dark red like her hair. Her mouth
was…perfect. Small and full, and he could remember the taste. He had no fucking right to be thinking
about her mouth. Or how sweet she had tasted. He didn’t do sweet.
Anyway, it had all been pretense for her grandmother’s benefit. The older woman obviously
believed them to be married for real. He hoped that wasn’t going to be a problem. He’d never given
much thought to why his “wife” had needed to marry—it hadn’t been any of his business. It still
wasn’t.
He was here for one thing: to get his annulment.
She still hadn’t spoken, but he could see her thinking, working out what she would say, so he
strolled around the room, giving her some time, stopping at her extremely tidy desk. The only thing on
the spotless surface was a photograph. His eyes slid past it and then back. He reached out slowly and
picked it up. If he wasn’t mistaken, that was him on a beach he was pretty sure he’d never been to in
his life.
He turned and waved it in her direction. When she didn’t respond, he stepped closer, snapped his
fingers under her nose, and she jumped.
“Sorry,” she said. “I was thinking. Or rather, I was trying not to think, but…” She looked at the
photo in his hand and gave a tiny shrug. “Our fourth wedding anniversary.”
“Really? Where did we go?”
“You took me to the Seychelles. We had a wonderful time.”
“I’m glad,” he said drily.
“Look, Mr. Slater…”
He raised an eyebrow.
“Josh. I really wish you hadn’t said you’d come to dinner tonight.”
He shrugged. “It’s no big deal. When I don’t arrive, you can say something came up.”
She shook her head. “Oh, no. You have to come now, or she’ll never let it drop. She’s tenacious.
She’ll hunt you down and pry the truth from your bleeding and broken body.”
“I think you’re exaggerating.”
“You don’t know Grandmamma. God, I need a drink.” She batted those long lashes at him, gave him
another of those pleading looks. “Please say you’ll come to dinner.” Her mouth was pink and full, but
her skin was pale, and the hand she used to tuck a stray curl behind her ear was shaking slightly.
“Honestly, it will only be this once. After all, I’ve managed to avoid you meeting my family for five
years. This was a combination of bad timing. My grandmother never comes to London, and you…”
She paused and looked at him, a little line forming between her brows. “Why are you here, anyway?”
Chapter Two
Lexi licked her lips, the taste of him still on her tongue.
Oh God, she’d kissed him. How many times had she fantasized about kissing him? And he’d kissed
her back. She didn’t have much experience—except in her fantasies—but that had been clear.
And oh my God, his penis had been hard and huge and pressed up against her. Her first ever real-
life penis. With her grandmother standing right behind them.
That was totally wrong.
He was so big. Not only tall, though he was well over six feet, but broad at the shoulders, his black
T-shirt stretched tight over the swell of muscles. His dark blond hair was cut short, and his eyes were
the bluest she had ever seen. He looked rough and tough and sort of oozed an air of power and
menace.
A shiver ran through her. Yes, she was being a little melodramatic, but just…wow.
He returned her scrutiny, his face serious. “Why don’t we get out of here? Go get that drink you
need? And then we can talk.”
What could they possibly have to talk about? Had he come for more money? After all, what did she
really know about him? Except her Uncle Jamie—who wasn’t really her uncle but her godfather and
her father’s best friend—had vouched for him. He’d been Josh’s commanding officer when he’d been
in the Special Air Services. He’d sworn Josh was an honorable man.
“Well?” he prompted.
He was a bit bossy. She hated bossy. It was just as well he wasn’t her husband for real, or she’d
have to sort that out, and she was guessing Joshua Slater was a little set in his ways. She gave a quick
nod. “Okay. Let me get my bag.”
“And shoes would be good.”
She followed his gaze and encountered her bare toes. How to make a good first impression…not.
But why should she worry? He’d say what he had to say—and she couldn’t begin to guess what that
was—and then he’d no doubt disappear out of her life again. He made a fabulous fantasy husband, but
she was certain he’d be far less accommodating in real life. There was something intractable about
the way he held his mouth in a stern line, and he didn’t look as though he laughed much. And she liked
to laugh. A lot.
She had to crawl under her desk to find her sandals. When she came up, he was waiting by the
door, one shoulder leaning against the wall. His arms were folded across his chest, his foot tapping
on the floor.
She slipped her sandals onto her feet—the four-inch heels doing almost nothing to decrease the
height discrepancy between them—then stepped past him and opened the door. Sadie was seated at
her desk. She glanced up and grinned as Lexi ushered him out and then followed him to the outer door.
At the last moment, she came back, leaned close to Sadie, eyeing her assistant suspiciously. “How did
you know who he was?”
Sadie shrugged nonchalantly. “I was cleaning out your desk one day and found the photos.”
Ha. An unlikely story. Snooping, more like. “If you didn’t have a cat, you’d be fired.”
She stalked to the doorway where Josh stood holding the door open, foot once again tapping.
Jeez, what’s the rush? This guy needed to seriously de-stress.
She led the way out and along the street, casting him surreptitious glances as she walked. He’d
aged some since the wedding, the fine lines around his eyes a little deeper, and she had a sudden urge
to soothe them away. She knew he was twenty-eight, but he looked older.
Maybe she could ask him for some current photos while he was here, to keep her going with the
anniversary pictures for the next few years. She also noticed something else, and she touched his arm
lightly.
He peered down, a deep furrow between his brows—he obviously frowned way too much.
“What?”
God, he sounded grumpy. “You’re limping. Are you okay? Did I hurt you when I jumped you back
there? Sorry about that, but I couldn’t risk you giving anything away in front of my grandmother.”
“No problem. And I’m fine.” Then he gave a small shrug. “I broke my leg about six weeks ago. It’s
healing well, only aches a little if I put too much stress on it.”
“Like me leaping at you?”
“You weigh nothing. I was just…surprised.”
“I’ll bet,” she muttered and came to a halt, waving a hand at the pub. “My local.” She pushed open
the door and entered the dim interior, Josh close behind her.
The bartender grinned when he saw her. “Hi, Lexi. The usual?”
“Hi, Steve.” Her usual at this time of year was a large glass of icy cold white wine, but today
called for something stronger. “And no thanks. Can I have a scotch? A double—no ice.”
“Trouble?” he asked, his gaze shifting to Josh beside her.
“My grandmother is visiting.” She’d once had a long moan to Steve about her family when her
annual trip to New York was due.
“I’ll have the same,” Josh said. “Do you come here a lot?” he asked as they took the drinks to one
of the small booths that lined the back wall. He sounded a little judgmental. The jerk. Yes, she came
here a lot, and it was none of his business. “And is that guy a friend or more?”
And now he was concerned about who she spent her free time with? That kiss must have rattled his
brain if he thought he had any say in how she lived her life.
“Of course he’s just a friend. What else would he be?” Though Steve had asked her out on more
than one occasion, Lexi didn’t date. She was married in the eyes of the world, and she didn’t want
any stories getting back to her family and raising questions.
As she slipped onto the padded bench, Josh took the seat opposite. She lifted the glass to her lips
and took a gulp, felt the warmth flow down her throat into her belly. She put the glass down and
licked scotch from her lips, glanced up to find Josh watching her, his expression intense. A shiver ran
through her. He made her feel…actually, she didn’t know how he made her feel, but certainly
“uncomfortable” came into it somewhere.
Liar! Turned on more like. Hot and achy and… Not now, Lexi.
But what did she expect? She’d made herself come countless times, and this man had always been
the inspiration for her fantasies. She squirmed on the leather seat at the thought. It seemed weird being
with him in reality—remembering all those things he’d done to her, if only in her dreams.
Though the reality of that kiss had been way hotter than anything she’d imagined.
Don’t go there, Lexi. She shook her head to dispel the memory.
“How did you break your leg?” she asked, to take her mind off the kiss.
“The cruise ship I was on sank. I was injured getting off.”
“Wow. You were on a cruise?” He didn’t seem the type. “Do you have any photos?” Perhaps they
could go on a cruise for their fifth wedding anniversary.
“I was working. And no, I did not take any photos.”
“You were working? On a cruise ship? Were you part of the crew?” Perhaps he had one of those
white uniforms they wore, with epaulettes and—
“I was working security.”
“Oh.” That fitted in with him being in the army. Maybe that was all he could get afterward. She’d
never considered what he did. She’d known he’d been injured shortly before the wedding—her
godfather had told her that much. He’d been shot on tour in Afghanistan. He seemed awfully accident
prone. “So did someone sink it on purpose?”
“Probably not.”
He wasn’t very talkative. Which was no doubt for the best. Except he’d been the one to suggest they
come here “to talk.”
She sighed and took a sip of scotch. Josh hadn’t touched his drink. Time to move this on, let him say
what he thought he had to say, then they could get back to their regular non-existent relationship. Well,
after they’d gotten through dinner with the family tonight.
“So what do you need to talk about?”
“I want an annulment.”
For a second, the words didn’t make sense. Then she slowly put her glass down and stared at him.
“What?”
“An annulment. I want to end our fake marriage.”
“You can’t.”
“I can. I contacted a lawyer. We just need to file paperwork that the marriage was never
consummated, and it will be done.” He sat back, arms folded across his chest.
Was he after more money? Was that what this was about? Maybe he’d lost his job when that ship
went down. Now he was penniless and had come to fill his bank account.
Did anyone want her for anything other than her money?
“Mr. Slater, if you think I’m going to pay you anything else for a job you were already paid a
considerable amount of money to do, then you are very mistaken. I’m sure my Uncle Jamie made it
very clear that the marriage had to stay in place until my twenty-fourth birthday.”
He frowned. “Your Uncle Jamie?”
“James Frobisher. He arranged this thing with you.”
He was staring at her in shock. “Colonel Frobisher is your uncle?”
“Not really. He’s my godfather. And I’m presuming he told you the details of our arrangement.
“I honestly don’t remember.”
“Well, let me remind you. The marriage was to last for five years and five months. That was what
you were paid for, whether you remember or not.”
He shrugged. “Hardly a legally binding contract.”
She gritted her teeth. “You agreed.”
“And now I’ve changed my mind. I’m happy to pay you back the money you gave me. With
interest.”
So he wasn’t after more money, but that was beside the point. “I cannot get an annulment.” She
stood up. “Not. Going. To. Happen.”
“It needs to happen.”
“And I need to stay married.”
“How long?”
“Six months.”
“That’s too long.”
She rested her hands on the table and leaned across. “It’s what you signed up for.” She had a
splitting headache, too much going on, and still dinner with her grandmother to get through. “Look, I
have a meeting. I have to get back to the office. But we’ll talk tonight. After we’ve had dinner with my
family.”
“You really want me to come?”
“No, Mr. Slater. I don’t really want you to come. I would much rather you’d stayed away
altogether. But you didn’t. So now I have to deal with the fallout from that.”
He was still relaxed back in his seat, a bland expression on his handsome face. “And afterward
you’ll talk about this in a rational manner?”
She gritted her teeth some more. “I am always rational.”
“Somehow I doubt that.”
Oh yes, because he knew her so well after spending a whole ten minutes in her company. Plus the
wedding, of course, where, if she remembered rightly, apart from her vows she had said a total of two
tongue-tied words to him the whole time: hello and good-bye. But he had been a little outside her
comfort zone.
Be honest, Lexi. He still is.
Though she’d work hard to keep that fact from him. He was just so big and stern and…he wanted an
annulment. Well, somehow she had to persuade him out of that idea.
He gave a quick nod. “I’ll pick you up.”
“You’ll need my address,” she said.
“I have your address.”
He did? Where from? Though for that matter he’d obviously gotten her office address from
somewhere. Had he had her investigated? “Well, be there at seven-thirty. And do not be late. My
grandmother dislikes unpunctuality.”
He cocked his head. “Are you scared of her?”
Stupid question. “Of course I’m scared of her. She’s terrifying.”
“Okay, and afterward we’ll discuss the annulment.”
“Yes.” Ha, no way.
A deal was a deal, and he was going to stick by it or…actually, she wasn’t sure what. But an
annulment? No way. She could imagine her family getting hold of that information. Would it negate the
release of the trust? She didn’t know, and perhaps she needed to find out. She made a mental note to
talk to her lawyer; she’d get Sadie to set up a call after her meeting.
The day had started out so well, and now she was teetering on the edge of a precipice. But no way
was she going to allow this guy to push her over. She glared at him, and his lips twitched.
“Seven-thirty sharp. And wear a suit.” Her brows drew together. “Do you have a suit?”
“I’ll find something.”
“Good.”
And then she was out of there.
…
She was cute when she was angry. Hell, she was cute period. But cute had never been his thing. And
what was with the four-inch heels? They seemed totally out of character and had the effect of making
her ass sway as she strutted away.
She had a great ass—curvy, shown off perfectly by the faded jeans—and a narrow waist. Her curls
hung in a wild tangle to half-way down her back—had she even brushed her hair today? He shook his
head. That had nothing to do with him. He was here to get away from her, not get turned on every time
she got near him.
The door swung shut behind her, and he sat back in his seat and picked up his scotch. He never
drank in the middle of the day. Didn’t drink much at all, actually—his mother had been too bad an
example for him to want to go down that route. But now, as he brought the glass to his lips, he
breathed in the warm smell and took a sip. The taste reminded him of that night on the lifeboat after
the cruise ship had sunk, when he’d drunk scotch with Logan and Vito—the two guys who had very
likely saved his life—and they had all made a vow. They would go back and change one thing about
their lives. “Things to do before you die,” they’d called it. And Josh had known straight away what he
was going to do.
He was going to get laid.
Nice, simple, no strings sex. Because he hadn’t had sex in…way too long.
Partly because for the last five years he’d poured all his energy into getting his business set up, to
the exclusion of all else. Slater Security was a bigger success than he could have ever imagined, but
recently he’d found no pleasure in his work.
Which was why, when his company won the contract to provide security for a cruise line, and there
had been a last minute opening for chief security officer on the ship, he’d jumped at the job. A nice,
relaxing cruise to set his mind straight.
Ha.
But it had given him the time and space to realize that he’d put his life on hold when he’d said “I
do.”
The marriage had been a business arrangement. He’d always known he’d never marry for real, so it
hadn’t seemed like such a big deal at the time. Except for some reason, in the back of his mind, he’d
never been able to shake the thought that he was married. That going with another woman was
somehow cheating. Which was crazy.
But, crazy or not, he was going to have to cut ties to his fake wife before he could move on and
have that no-strings sex he needed.
He’d thought it would be easy, hadn’t expected to meet any opposition, which had obviously been
short-sighted of him.
For the first time he considered things from his wife’s point of view. Why had she entered into this
marriage? He’d thought her some little rich bitch who wanted access to her money so she could party
harder. Now he was revising that opinion. Her clothes had been old and basic—apart from the killer
heels—and she wore no jewelry. Her fingernails were short and unpainted. If she was spending
money, it wasn’t on her appearance.
Maybe something to do with her family? They obviously believed the marriage to be real. And she
was determined to keep it that way.
And that was nothing to do with him, either. He wanted his annulment, though he was quite
prepared to do it quietly if she wanted to go on pretending they were married. Or she could tell
everyone they’d divorced. That part was up to her.
But the annulment itself? Somehow he needed to persuade her it was in both their best interests. He
took another sip of scotch and remembered the taste of her on his tongue. His dick twitched in his
pants. She wasn’t his type, but she’d felt good in his arms, soft and curvy and…
He groaned. He needed to get laid, and that was all. He needed to get out of this sham of a
marriage, find himself a woman, and maybe then he could stop thinking about sex.
Because thinking about sex with his wife was not an option.
And it never would be, so his dick was just going to have to get over it and move on like the rest of
him.
Chapter Three
Lexi loitered outside the gate and peered down the road every thirty seconds. She’d decided it was
probably better if Josh didn’t come into the house; the setup could be a little overwhelming at first.
And he needed his wits about him tonight. She glanced down at herself and gave a rueful shrug. Her
black dress was covered in paw prints.
She’d stayed tidy for five minutes. That was probably a record for her. And it was nearly seven-
thirty—her grandmother would be waiting. No time to change now.
Besides, if she went in, she might not come out again. She was feeling a little shy every time she
remembered that she had kissed him. Correction: first she’d jumped him, then she’d kissed him.
And now he wanted an annulment. She’d talked to her lawyer that afternoon, and this had the
potential to become a huge mess.
In some ways, her father had been a very modern man, in others he’d bordered on antiquated. He’d
left most of his money to Lexi—in trust until she was twenty-four, or when she married. As though
having a husband would miraculously make her capable of handling a fortune worth millions.
Now, if the marriage was annulled and her family wanted to be difficult—and hell, when hadn’t her
grandmother wanted to be difficult—they could claim she’d had access to the money fraudulently.
They could tie her up in legal knots so she wouldn’t even get access when she turned twenty-four. It
was a nightmare.
A nightmare Joshua Slater was responsible for. And could prevent.
A big, black car drew up right on the dot of seven-thirty. A sensible car. Spotlessly clean. And
expensive.
She drooped a little at that. She’d held out hope that he was just as money hungry as her family, but
he was obviously not in need of cash. Which was bad news, because that would have been an easy
solution. It would have depressed her a little, and she realized she wanted Josh to be…nice. Okay,
nice might be pushing it, but the honorable man of her dreams, at least. But she’d decided, after the
conversation with her lawyer, that she would offer him more money if that was what it took—money
to do nothing for the next six months, and then a quiet divorce when it would no longer matter.
A divorce would be fine. An annulment would be a disaster.
Pity they hadn’t consummated the marriage—at least not in real life—then an annulment wouldn’t
be a possibility.
Not an option, Lexi.
And now it seemed unlikely offering him money would be an option either.
He leaned over and opened the car door for her, and she slid into the passenger seat, casting him
what she hoped was a casual peek. Then turned back to stare. He was stunning, gorgeous in a dark
gray suit and a white shirt, open at the collar showing the tanned column of his throat.
“Hi,” she mumbled, brushing at the paw prints down her front. “Thanks for coming.” She hadn’t
been entirely sure he would.
“Where are we going?” he asked.
“The Ritz.”
“Of course we are.”
He was silent for a minute as they headed into the traffic. She glanced down at her hands in her lap
and noticed a run in her stockings. She tugged the hem of her dress down to cover it and sighed. They
needed to talk and didn’t have long. She’d made a mental list of topics to cover. Time to get started.
She cleared her throat. “So we need to get our stories straight. Grandmamma will be asking you
questions.”
“Don’t worry. I’ve been trained to withstand torture.”
“Ha. You think this is funny. Just wait.”
“So the story… What do they know?”
“As little as I could get away with.” She thought for a moment. “They know you were in the army.
And they know I met you through Uncle Jamie.”
“And we fell in love. How sweet.”
“Actually, no. I told them we had to get married. I was pregnant.”
His gaze shot from the road to her face, then down to her stomach, and then thankfully back to the
road. “You were?”
“Of course I wasn’t. They think I lost the baby at three months, but that seemed more believable
than the whole love thing.”
“You don’t believe in love?” He sounded vaguely amused.
It felt weird talking about love with this man. Not even in her fantasies had he ever told her he
loved her. She didn’t have that good of an imagination. But best not think about fantasies with his big
body so close to her in the confines of the car. It was having a weird effect on her concentration.
She gave a little shrug. “Maybe, but it didn’t seem likely that anyone would believe you’d fallen in
love with me.”
He frowned. “Why not? Don’t you think you’re loveable?”
The question sort of stopped her. The truth was, while she was sure her parents had loved her, she
could hardly remember them. Her Uncle Jamie was fond of her but she wouldn’t call it love. Her
grandmother…sometimes she thought her grandmother hated her.
“I don’t know,” she said. “But anyway, at the time it seemed more believable.” And it had really
pissed them off—that had been an added bonus. Her grandmother hadn’t spoken to her for a year
afterward. Not even after she’d written and told them about the miscarriage. A whole lovely year.
“So I take it your family wasn’t happy.”
“They might have forgiven me if you were an officer.”
“And a gentleman.”
“Yes.” She frowned, then added quickly, “Not that I don’t think you’re a gentleman or anything.”
“Honey, I’m about as far from a gentleman as you can get. And don’t worry about offending me—
you won’t.”
When he called her honey, little flutters started up in her belly. She tried to ignore them. “Anyway, I
told them you were a soldier and…” She chewed on her lip. He’d said she couldn’t offend him. She
wasn’t sure that was true, and she would no doubt soon find out. “I said you weren’t very bright.”
“What?”
Yup—he definitely sounded disgruntled. “I said you were gorgeous and sweet but a little slow.”
“Sweet?” He sounded almost outraged.
What was wrong with sweet? “And gorgeous,” she repeated to make up for the slow bit.
They’d stopped at a set of traffic lights and he turned to face her. “You think I’m gorgeous?”
Why was he asking her that? He must know he was. She was betting he had women chasing after
him all the time. She studied his face—the intense blue eyes, the high cheekbones, the long line of his
jaw, the narrow nose. He was stunning. She sniffed. “You’re okay.”
He chuckled, and she liked the sound. It did all sorts of strange things to her insides.
“So I’m thick?”
“Yes. If grandmother asks anything you don’t know the answer to, just act…”
“Stupid.”
She relaxed a little; he seemed to have taken that well. “You stayed in the army after we were
married. I thought that best in case of any surprise inspections. If anyone turned up on my doorstep
unannounced, I could always say you were out of the country.”
“Makes sense.”
“You could probably say you left recently though—just be a little vague. Then we need to decide
what you’re doing next.” She cast him a quick look. He was concentrating on the road; they were
coming up to the Ritz and running out of time. “What do you actually do?”
“I run a security firm. Started it up straight after we married.”
“Is that what you needed the money for?”
“No. I needed it for something else, but that didn’t work out. So I started the company. And it’s
done well. So I can afford to pay you back. With interest.”
“I don’t want paying back.” She really didn’t want to get into that discussion now. She was already
wound up enough. “We’ll say you work in security. What else? I sometimes came out to visit you, and
we took at least one vacation a year together. But we haven’t spent that much time with each other, so
it’s understandable if there are things we don’t know. But maybe we should cover a few of the basics.
What’s your favorite color? Mine’s orange.”
“Black.”
“Food?”
“Steak.”
“Oh. I’m a vegetarian. TV or reading?”
“Reading.” He glanced over with a hint of a smile. “Perhaps I should stick to comic books to fit in
with my image.”
She bit back her own smile—he needed to take this seriously. “Perhaps.”
“So ours is more of a physical than a cerebral relationship?” he asked as he pulled up in front of
the Ritz.
“I suppose.”
He looked at her, his gaze dropping to her cleavage, and her nipples tightened in a totally over-the-
top response.
“We just meet up”—he raised his eyes to her face, held her gaze—“screw each other’s brains out,
and don’t bother with much conversation.”
She cleared her throat; something seemed to be lodged halfway down. “I guess.”
“We know all about each other sexually, but not a lot else? Hmm…so what’s your favorite
position? Just in case your grandmother asks.”
She stared at him for a moment, heat washing through her, then a little giggle escaped her as she
imagined the scene. He was teasing her, and she supposed she was awfully easy to tease. She licked
her lip, stared into his blue eyes. She didn’t want him to think she was a total pushover. “I like it from
behind.”
…
Crap.
His head filled with an image of her on all fours in front of him, and his dick jerked to instant life in
his pants.
She giggled again, and he shot her a dark look.
“What?” he said.
“The expression on your face.”
He shrugged. “I guess you surprised me.”
“I did?” She looked a little too pleased with herself.
“Yeah. I was expecting you to say the missionary.” That would work for him as well; her lush little
body sprawled out beneath him, her breasts pushing upward. She’d have pink nipples to go with that
creamy skin, and maybe freckles across her breasts.
Stop thinking about sex.
Especially sex with Lexi.
He’d gone into the office that afternoon to catch up on some paperwork, but he’d found himself
going over ways to convince Lexi to go along with his annulment. And what to do if he failed.
It wasn’t a real marriage. Maybe he could pretend it didn’t exist. But that wasn’t really an option.
Promiscuity was something else his mother had cured him of; she’d never been faithful to one man for
any length of time. Though she’d once told him that his father had been the love of her life. He’d
walked out on her when she’d told him she was pregnant. His mother didn’t even know who his sister
Evie’s father was. There were two or three contenders, but no one had ever stepped forward.
His mother had left him with a deep desire for order—he wanted his relationships nice and tidy
and one at a time. And while the marriage might not be real, he needed it cleared up before he could
comfortably move on.
So he’d have to persuade Lexi.
Because he wasn’t waiting six months.
No, any chance of waiting a single month, let alone six, had disappeared as soon as her mouth had
touched his.
Something had happened with that kiss, as if his body had woken from a long sleep. Now it was
wide awake, and he couldn’t stop thinking about sex.
More worrying, he couldn’t get the memory of Lexi in his arms out of his head. Which was very
inconvenient, because while he wanted sex, he most certainly did not want married sex. That would
make him truly married, and that was never going to happen. Ever.
There was a car in front of them, and they stopped for a moment. She fidgeted with a loose strand
of hair then turned to him. “Do I look okay?” she asked.
He studied her, head cocked to the side. She wore a wrap-around black dress that molded her
curves and showed off her cleavage, black stockings, and high-heeled black pumps. Her hair was up
in some sort of knot on the top of her head, exposing her slender throat. She was beautiful, and for a
moment, he couldn’t drag his eyes from her.
She squirmed under his scrutiny, biting her lip.
“You have lipstick on your teeth,” he said.
“I do?”
He nodded. “There are tissues in the glove box.”
She pressed open the door and stared. “Oh.”
He followed her gaze and raised an eyebrow.
“You have a whole box of condoms in your car.”
“They were a present.” Logan had given them to him, saying that if Josh was going to get laid, he
needed to be prepared—hence the condoms.
She reached past them tentatively, as though she might catch something from touching the box. She
really was amazingly naive. For a married woman. For the first time, he wondered what she’d been
doing for sex all these years. Had she had boyfriends?
She grabbed a tissue and wiped off the lipstick, then bared her teeth at him. “Okay?”
He nodded, and looked down over the rest of her, lingering on the deep V of her cleavage, then
lower. He stretched out a hand and touched one finger to the run in her pantyhose, where he could see
her creamy skin through the tear.
“You have a run. I don’t suppose you have a spare pair.”
“Not a chance. I’m never that organized. I’ll just have to do.”
His hand was still on her knee, and his finger moved without his conscious thought, stroking up her
thigh, pushing her skirt out of the way.
A horn blared behind them, and he snatched his hand back.
What the hell?
He moved the car forward and switched off the engine. “Let’s get this over with.” He knew his tone
was harsh as she gave a little flinch. She didn’t wait for him, just scrambled out of the car and stood,
foot tapping nervously on the pavement. After getting out, he handed the keys to the valet, came
around, and stood beside her.
She appeared a little distant. “Just girding my loins,” she muttered. “Come on.”
“You’re really nervous about this?” They crossed the reception area. He’d never been to the Ritz
before. It wasn’t his sort of place even after he had the money to pay the prices.
“Yes. I don’t want you to think I’m a wimp or anything. Usually I’m pretty tough. But it’s hard to
undo the conditioning you receive when you’re young. I grew up disappointing my grandmother at
every turn. For years I tried to be the sort of person she wanted me to be—I think we all need to
impress the ones we feel we should love, however little they seem to appreciate the effort.”
It occurred to him how that could be applied to his own upbringing as well. He’d done his best to
please his mother. She’d never really cared. Lexi halted to speak to the hostess and then followed her
across the restaurant. The place screamed elitism with the clink of crystal and the low murmur of
polite conversation. The atmosphere put his back up, and his feet slowed. Then Lexi’s warm hand slid
into his and pulled him along. She gave him a small smile. “Don’t worry. I’ll look after you.”
He almost stopped as shock side-swiped him. No one had ever offered to look after him before. He
knew she was joking, but all the same, the words twisted something deep inside him.
He’d looked after himself from the moment he could walk, and looked after his mother much of the
time. Then after Evie had been born, he’d taken care of her as well. It had never occurred to him to
ask for help. Now he didn’t ask or expect it.
Lexi squeezed his hand, and he realized they’d arrived at the table. Four people were seated around
it with two empty places. Lexi’s grandmother was as perfectly presented as he remembered. Next to
her sat a man who appeared considerably younger. With gray eyes and immaculately cut blond hair, he
radiated an air of privilege. But his expression was amiable enough. He’d stood up as they
approached, and now he came around the table.
“Lexi, sweetheart.” He clasped her in a hug. Josh tried to read their body language, but he guessed
these people had perfected the art of hiding any natural feelings. The hug went on way too long. Lexi
was smiling politely as she stepped back, but a tenseness in her expression suggested she wasn’t
entirely happy with the embrace.
“Daniel.” She gave him a brief nod and took a step toward Josh. “And this is Josh, my husband.”
He stepped forward and held out his hand. Daniel looked at it for a moment and then took it in his
own. His palm was soft and warm, and Josh had to resist the urge to wipe his own down his pants leg
afterward. Something about the man put him on edge.
“And this is Daniel’s son, Harry, and his daughter, Melissa.”
They didn’t get up, and Josh just nodded in their direction. Both were clones of their father—tall,
slender, blond. Melissa was quite beautiful, and the smile she sent him made it clear she thought he
was okay as well. The smile faded as she looked at Lexi and gave a brief tip of her head.
From the age of seventeen he’d considered himself to have no family. Now he could see that that
perhaps it wasn’t such a bad thing after all. Lexi’s family had all the warmth of a night at the North
Pole. He held the chair next to Harry out for her, and she sat down and glanced up at him, biting her
lip.
He took the only other free seat between Lexi’s grandmother and Melissa. He immediately caught
the attention of a passing waiter and ordered himself a beer and a scotch for Lexi. He had a feeling
she was going to need it.
So he was stupid. He decided to go for the strong, silent, stupid type.
Lexi was making small talk with Harry and Daniel, asking about New York. Harry, apparently, had
still to decide where his true talents lay—another way of saying out of a job and no doubt sponging
off Daddy. Daniel obviously owned some sort of gallery and Melissa worked for him.
The waiter brought their drinks, and he raised his glass to Lexi and took a gulp of icy cold beer.
They ordered, and he sat back and willed the evening to be over.
“So, Joshua, tell us about yourself.” Melissa turned in her seat. “I can’t believe Lexi hasn’t
introduced us before now. Keeping you all to herself. How selfish.”
He shrugged. “Not much to tell.”
“How did you meet?”
“Lexi’s godfather introduced us.”
Her grandmother’s gaze sharpened on him. “You know James Frobisher?”
“He was my commanding officer, ma’am.”
“Of course. You were in the army. A sergeant, I believe. How…interesting. How did you come to
join up?”
His lips twitched. “It was suggested it might be a good career move.”
“And they didn’t suggest officer training?”
“No, ma’am.” He glanced at Lexi, gave her a brief grin. “I was seventeen and I hadn’t done too
well at school. I somehow doubt they would have taken me.”
Which was true. He’d left school with absolutely no qualifications, mainly because he’d spent so
much time playing truant, looking after his little sister. When he was seventeen, his sister had been
taken into care and his mother had disappeared.
He’d been entirely alone in the world, feeling a total failure, and powerless to do anything for
Evie. He’d lost her, and he hadn’t really cared what he did next. But the army had worked for him.
He’d loved the order, which had been totally lacking in his life up until that point. And he’d been
good, had moved quickly through the ranks and finally been offered a place in the Special Air
Services, the most elite regiment in the army.
“Well, I suppose we can’t all be brilliant,” Melissa said. “I’m sure you have other talents.”
Yeah, I know at least twenty ways to kill you with my bare hands.
Perhaps he should offer to demonstrate. Luckily, the food arrived at that moment and distracted him
from the temptation.
They were all watching him as if waiting for him to make some huge social gaffe. It didn’t bother
him. The food was actually very good.
“And where do you come from?” Daniel asked.
“South London. A council estate.”
“Really? And your parents?”
He finished the last mouthful of his seafood salad, put down his knife and fork, and sat back. He
caught Lexi’s gaze, gave her a wink, and her eyes widened. “I didn’t know my father.” His mother had
once told him he was an American sailor she’d met at a party, who’d vanished out of her life at the
point he’d been told he was going to be a father. “My mother is still around somewhere.” He’d never
forgive her, would be happy if he never saw her again as long as he lived, but he didn’t need to share
that. He curved his lips into what he hoped was a warm smile. “Lexi is all the family I need.”
“Aw, isn’t that sweet,” Harry muttered.
Josh turned a bland gaze on him and imagined a quick chop to the throat.
“But you’ve left the army now?”
“Yes.”
“And you probably feel you don’t need to work,” her grandmother said. “Lexi no doubt has enough
money to keep you happy.”
“Yes, but I like to keep busy and out of Lexi’s hair. You can’t spend all your life in bed.” There was
a shocked silence, and he almost grinned. “Just most of it.” He dropped his gaze to the swell of her
breasts, then lifted it back to her face. She’d hardly touched her food. “Eat up, honey. You need your
strength for later.”
Her lips twitched, but she sent him a warning glare. Was he going too far? But hell, he was almost
having fun. And he had taken money from Lexi. He would have struggled to start the business without
the cash she had given him. That made him feel a little uncomfortable.
“So what do you do to keep busy?” Melissa asked.
“I work in…security.”
“Well, I suppose there are limited options for a man like you,” Daniel murmured.
He’d so like to smash his fist into that smug face right now. The thought surprised him. He’d always
been in total control of his emotions. “Yeah, but the job’s okay, and I like the uniform. It saves me
having to make difficult decisions first thing in the morning.”
A little snort escaped Lexi. Then she tightened her lips and shot him another warning glare.
He sent her an I’ll-be-good look in return. But these people wound him up.
Their main courses arrived then. He had chicken. Lexi had some sort of vegetarian option, and she
glanced at his plate disapprovingly.
“It’s organic,” he said. “It said so on the menu. This chicken probably had a great life.”
“Before it met its untimely end,” she replied.
They all ate in silence for a few minutes, which was a relief. Josh sipped his single glass of wine,
but he couldn’t quite enjoy his chicken. He ate a bread roll instead and watched Lexi nibble at her
vegetables. Finally, she stopped even making a pretense at eating, put down her knife and fork and
picked up her glass of wine, drained it in one gulp, and held it out for more. Once the waiter had
refilled it, she took a ladylike sip and then turned to face her grandmother. “You said you had
something to discuss?”
Her grandmother wiped the napkin delicately across her lips. “Actually, Daniel has a favor to ask
you.”
“He does?”
“Only a little one. I’m sure you’ll find no hardship.”
Lexi’s expression remained bland, but her fingers tightened around the glass.
“Harry is thinking of staying in London for a while,” Daniel said. “Looking up some old contacts.
He hates staying in hotels, and we thought he might stay with you instead. A friendly face as it were.
You can spend some time together.”
Not in this lifetime.
Josh didn’t like the guy; he was creepy like his dad.
A look of alarm flashed across Lexi’s face, quickly blanked out. “I’m not sure there’s room.”
“You have that huge house, Alexia,” her grandmother said. “How can you be so selfish? Of course,
if you sold it, you could buy an apartment for us to use when we’re in the city. A single girl hardly
needs eight bedrooms.”
“She’s not single,” Josh pointed out mildly.
“Of course not,” Daniel said. “But all the same, the two of you hardly need a house that size.”
“I like my house. It belonged to my mother.”
“Sentimental nonsense,” her grandmother snapped.
A flush was spreading across Lexi’s cheeks, her eyes flashing. Then the anger was wiped away.
“Of course Harry can come to stay. I’d love to spend some time with him.” She pushed her chair
back. “Now, I’m sure you’ll excuse us, but Josh and I have a lot of catching up to do.”
“Really, Alexia, finish your dinner.”
He watched the war of wills between the two women. He thought Lexi was going to fold, but she
squared her shoulders. “Thank you, but I’ve had enough.”
Her grandmother pursed her lips. “There’s a more delicate matter to discuss, but perhaps Daniel
and I could visit you at your office tomorrow and talk in private.”
Lexi gave a small nod. “Call my secretary. She’ll let you know when I’ll be free.”
Josh pushed his chair back and rose to his feet. “Great meeting you all.” Not. “Enjoy the rest of
your meal.”
He walked around, settled a hand on her waist, and led her from the dining room, all the time
feeling their eyes on his back.
“Whew,” she muttered as the double door swung shut behind them. “Well, that went better than
expected.”
He searched her voice for any hint of sarcasm, but she appeared genuine. He wondered what these
dinners were normally like. “So, I’m good at being stupid?”
She glanced at him sideways. “No. I suspect they realized you were toying with them.
Unfortunately, they aren’t stupid either, just narrow-minded.”
“Some people grow up expecting everything on a plate for them. They can’t see past that.”
“Not you though?”
“No, not me.” Hell, he’d grown up expecting fuck-all, and that’s what he’d usually got. He hesitated
at the door. “You want me to take you home now? We still need to have that talk.”
She gave a little shrug. “Home’s probably not the best place for a private conversation.”
“You don’t live alone?” He hadn’t expected that. Did she have some sort of live-in-lover?
Somehow he didn’t like that idea. Hell, he’d respected his wedding vows.
“No, not quite.”
And what the hell did that mean? But it was none of his business, and he led the way out of the front
doors and handed his ticket to the waiting valet.
“I get the impression you don’t like Harry.”
She screwed up her face. “Honestly? I don’t know him that well. But he makes me…
uncomfortable.”
“You shouldn’t have said he could stay then.”
“Sometimes it’s easier.” She gave another shrug. “I doubt he’ll stay long. It’s really not his sort of
place.”
The car drew up in front of them, and they were silent as the valet climbed out and they got in. Josh
pulled out into the road and for a few minutes he just drove. She appeared tiny next to him, hunched
over, somehow diminished by the dinner. A rush of rage bombarded him at her family’s behavior, and
then a twinge of guilt that he was making things worse.
Not my problem.
He tapped his fingers on the steering wheel. Where to go? They could go to a bar but he’d had
enough of other people for the night.
Why was he feeling so reluctant to push the annulment?
Lexi’s poor little rich girl situation really shouldn’t get to him.
But it did.
Chapter Four
Lexi stared out of the window at the passing streets. It was nine-thirty and still daylight. Dinner had
only taken an hour and a half. It had felt much longer.
Her grandmother had been strangely quiet, allowing Daniel to do most of the talking. That worried
her a little. Her grandmother had always had the control in that relationship. And why did they want
Harry to move in? To spy on her? Or something more sinister?
God, she had to reel in her imagination. But she’d overheard a conversation once, just before she’d
left for good. Daniel had apparently thought it would be an excellent idea for her and Harry to marry.
Yeah. Super idea. Not.
That hadn’t been what decided her on her somewhat drastic course of action, but it had certainly
given her a nudge in that direction. Her feelings for Harry could be summed up in one word.
Ugh.
It wasn’t really Harry’s fault. As she’d told Josh, she hardly knew him, just from brief meetings
over the years. But he reminded her too much of his father, and Daniel made her skin crawl.
She knew perfectly well what her grandmother wanted to talk to her about. They needed money.
Now she had to decide whether she would give it to them. Probably. She had plenty, though there
were far more worthy causes to spend it on than her grandmother’s shopping habit or whatever
expensive vices Daniel used to while away his time. She could guess at a few.
Her grandmother had gone through three other husbands in the time Lexi had lived with her—though
lived was hardly the right word; she’d spent most of her time at boarding school—but Daniel was the
first she had really disliked. Two had ignored her, one had been kind, and then there was Daniel. The
creep.
Josh had been great over dinner; he hadn’t been the least intimidated by either his surroundings or
her family. She had a good feel for people and their motivations, and she suspected Josh genuinely
didn’t give a crap what people thought of him, which would make him hard to intimidate.
She turned her attention from the streets outside to his hands on the steering wheel. They were big
hands, with long fingers, and they held the wheel easily.
Her gaze flicked to the glove compartment with its whole box of condoms. Did he have a
girlfriend? She presumed he must have. A man like him was hardly likely to have been celibate for
five years. Unlike herself—though she’d had her fantasies of Josh to keep her company. And her
vibrator.
She couldn’t imagine Josh fantasizing about her.
Her gaze wandered to the glove compartment again.
He was going to ask for an annulment. And somehow she had to persuade him otherwise.
An idea flashed through her mind—revisiting her earlier thought about consummating the marriage.
She dismissed it before it could take hold, but it slid back into her brain and refused to be pushed out.
He was her husband after all. And she had been faithful to him for five years.
Maybe…
When she’d jumped him in the office, she would swear he’d liked it. So he didn’t find her a total
turn-off.
She couldn’t believe she was considering this. She was a goddamn virgin. What were her chances
of seducing a gorgeous hunk like her husband?
If she repeated the word “husband” enough times, she’d feel less like a manipulative little bitch for
even considering what she was considering, and more like a wronged wife pursuing her conjugal
rights.
He was the one in the wrong here. He’d agreed to this marriage. He had no right to back out now
just because it was inconvenient. And why did he want to anyway? Why now? He’d been happy
enough to stay in the background for five years. A horrible thought crossed her mind, and she blurted
out the words before she thought better of it. “Do you want to marry someone else?”
His eyes darted from the road to her, a frown between his eyes. “Christ, no.”
He sounded horrified, as though he had as low an opinion of marriage as she did. Maybe even
lower.
What had made him that way? She was quite aware of where her own aversion had come from. Her
grandmother had hardly provided her with a good example—all of her marriages before Daniel had
ended acrimoniously. Lexi had grown up determined she would never marry. And she’d worked too
hard to get control of her life to hand it over to some man.
“Do you have a girlfriend?”
“No.”
“Boyfriend?”
“No.” This time she could hear a faint thread of amusement in his voice. “Why the inquisition?”
She gave a casual shrug. “Just wondering.” At least she wouldn’t be stepping on anyone’s toes. Was
she really considering this?
I mean seriously, Lexi?
She had no presumptions that she was beautiful. She wasn’t ugly; she was okay, but not a super
model or anything, and she’d bet Josh could get anyone he wanted. Why would he go for her?
But he did kiss me back.
The memory of that kiss had her nipples tightening and heat pooling in her belly. She wiped her
palms down her side and cleared her throat. “Where are we going?” They’d been driving for ten
minutes, and she had no clue where. Though they were heading vaguely back toward her place.
“We need to have that talk. Where do you suggest?”
She thought for a moment, her mind racing furiously. “You could take me home, and we could walk
on the Heath. It will be quiet.” And she’d be close to home if everything went badly wrong. Which
she suspected it might.
He gave a brief nod, and she sat back and tried to relax.
The journey took twenty minutes and she gave him directions toward the end, driving past her house
and round the back to a side street from where they could enter the Heath.
Josh climbed out of the car, shrugged out of his suit jacket and tossed it on the backseat. He came
around, but Lexi was already clambering out of her seat.
He nodded toward her feet. “You can walk in those?”
“Oh yes. I can walk in anything. I’ve had a lot of practice. I’ve always hated being short.”
He gazed down at her, a long way down. “You’re still short.”
Grr. “Gee, thanks.”
She led the way to a small gate that led onto the Heath. There were a few dog-walkers, but Lexi
guided him away from the main paths and toward her favorite place.
“Did you know the Heath is the biggest area of undeveloped land in London?” she said.
“I’d never really thought about it.”
“Well, it is.”
He walked fast and despite her claims she could walk in anything, her heels were sinking in the
grass. The sun was going down, but the night was still warm. Reaching up she pulled the clasp from
her hair and ran her hands through it, releasing some of her tension.
It had been a stressful day. She heaved a huge sigh, then peeked sideways. He’d rolled up his
sleeves, showing strong, tanned forearms, and the edge of the black ink of a tattoo. Did he have more?
He’d never had tattoos in her fantasies, but she wasn’t averse to the idea.
His expression was distant, as though unaware of her presence, and he moved with the lithe grace
of a predator. He’d obviously looked after himself since he’d left the army. There didn’t appear to be
an ounce of spare fat on him. She sucked in her belly as a wave of inadequacy washed over her. Self-
doubt had been a constant companion in her teen years. She’d thought the negative emotion banished,
but here it was again.
The truth was, no way was she going to try and seduce him. Because she’d fail, and then everything
would be an even bigger disaster than it was right now. And maybe he’d even hate her. And she didn’t
want that.
It was a stupid idea. Just another fantasy. And she needed to get real here and deal with the
problem, because if she didn’t sort it out, things could get in a huge mess, very quickly.
She sighed again, and he turned to her. “Something wrong?”
“Lots of things.” Then she shrugged. “And it’s been a long day.” She waved to a huge oak tree up
ahead. “We’ll sit and talk there.”
She sank to the grass and stretched her legs out in front of her, tracing the run in her stocking while
he settled beside her, his back against the broad trunk, knees bent, forearms resting on them. “It’s
amazing—we’re in the middle of London and there’s nobody around.”
“You’ve never been here before?”
“No.”
“The gates close at ten. But I have a key—Tom is a grounds man here—he gave me one.”
“Tom?”
“He lives in my house.”
“You live with a guy?”
He sounded…outraged. But she was probably mistaken. Why would he care? Still, she hurried to
put him straight. “Not live with like that—he’s a friend. I met him on the Heath one day, and he told
me he’d been thrown out of his flat when they found he had a dog. I said he could stay at my place. He
looks after the garden.”
She breathed deeply and let the atmosphere soothe her as it always did. Night was falling, though it
never got totally dark here, with light filtering in from the city beyond. She shifted slightly so she
could see his face. “So talk.”
…
She’d loosened her hair, and it hung about her shoulders in a mass of dark red curls. Her lipstick had
long since gone, leaving her lips naturally pink and full. His mind filled with the memory of how they
tasted of honey and lemons and spice.
His gaze lowered to the V of her wrap around dress, the black framing the creamy swell of her
breasts, the material thin enough so he could see the points of her nipples.
Don’t go there.
Her knees were drawn up under her and she shifted, giving him the briefest glimpse of the pale skin
of her thighs.
Or there.
But she was wearing stockings—so not playing fair—and his dick jerked in his pants.
Not good news.
Something about her made his mind shift to sex. Or maybe it was that everything made him think
about sex at the moment. Perhaps they should have gone to a crowded bar after all.
And what was she thinking of coming to a deserted place like this with what was, after all, almost a
virtual stranger? A man who had married her for money—hardly a recommendation of upstanding
character.
While he watched, she ran one fingertip up the run in her stocking, and his traitorous dick twitched
again. Shit, he was getting hard and she hadn’t even touched him. Time to get this conversation done
so they could get the hell out of here. He might want sex, but sex with this woman would be a mistake
of huge proportions. Massive. She wasn’t the no-strings type. In fact, she was nothing but strings, and
if he wasn’t careful she’d have him tied up so tight in those strings, they’d strangle the life out of him.
He cleared his throat. “I want an annulment.”
She’d been studying the ground, but now she looked up, her eyes glowing gold in the dim light.
“And I need to stay married.”
“It can be a quiet annulment. No one will know.”
“I somehow doubt that. It would be a matter of record, there for anyone who looked. And believe
me, they will look.”
He wanted to ask why, but at the same time he didn’t want to get embroiled in her problems, in her
life, which he was guessing was a whole lot of mess. And he didn’t do mess. He’d taken
responsibility for another person once. It hadn’t turned out well, and he planned never to repeat the
experience. Since he was seventeen, he’d worked hard to keep his own life nice and tidy and
ordered.
A small hand rested on his thigh, and a shudder ran through him.
“Please, Josh.” Her voice was soft and pleading. “I’ll stay out of your life. You won’t even know I
exist. We’ve managed this long. Just six more months. You don’t have to stay around—I’ll tell
everyone you have an overseas assignment. Then, when you come back, we can get a nice quiet
divorce.”
He hardly heard the words. He was fighting his own response to her closeness. That’s all it was.
She was close, and he was suffering the effects of five years of abstinence. And for some strange
reason, here was the one woman his crazy conscience seemed to believe he was allowed to touch.
The hand shifted on his thigh, and the blood pooled in his groin. He suddenly became aware they
were alone in the deepening darkness, hidden from the world. He didn’t want to be aware of that.
She’d edged a little closer so her arm brushed his, and if he glanced sideways his gaze snagged on the
swell of her breasts.
He’d been fighting his awareness of her all evening. Actually, longer than that. Since she’d pulled
that stunt in her office and leaped into his arms. Kissed him. Stuck her tongue in his mouth.
He was in trouble, his dick already hard and raring to go.
No. Dammit.
He was stronger than this.
“Josh?”
He realized he hadn’t answered her, and she was looking at him expectantly. But his brain wasn’t
working, and he didn’t want to open his mouth and say something he would later regret. He brushed
off her hand and pushed himself to his feet. He needed to walk away, but he couldn’t leave her here.
Reluctantly he turned and held out a hand.
“I’ll think about it,” he muttered. It wasn’t true. He’d already thought as much as he was willing to.
He wanted free of her before he got further tangled up in her problems. But he wasn’t sure he could
face her expression if he told her that right now. She looked so…hopeful.
She put her hand in his, and he pulled her to her feet and then dropped it abruptly.
“Let me explain what’s at stake,” she said. “Then you can decide.”
His shoulders stiffened. “Don’t you get it? I don’t want to know what’s at stake. It’s not my
business, and I don’t want it to be.”
A hurt look flashed across her face, followed by disappointment, but both were gone in a second.
She was good at hiding her feelings. No doubt she’d had to be, with that family of hers. “I’m sorry. I
won’t bother you with my problems. But you agreed to this.”
“I said I’d think about it.” The words came out harsher than he wanted, but she was messing with
his head. He’d had the craziest urge to hold her close until the hurt went away. To kiss her until she
forgot whatever her problems were. But that wasn’t who he was.
She bit her lip and took a step back from him. Her ankle gave in those ridiculous shoes, and she fell
backward. He reached for her instinctively, and then his arms were around her. As he hauled her
closer, her softness pressed into him, and he accepted defeat.
Not of the war, but maybe of this one small skirmish.
Because he had to kiss her again.
That was all—just to taste her, feel her. The need was overwhelming, clawing at him. Afterward,
they’d go back, and tomorrow he would tell her he’d set the paperwork in motion for the annulment.
Because she was trouble.
All that flashed through his mind in the seconds it took for her to wrap her hands around his
shoulders and raise her head. For a moment, he stared down into her huge eyes as they blinked up at
him, filled with longing. For him.
Never underestimate how much of a turn-on it is to be wanted.
And he gave in, lowered his head, and took her lips with his.
There was nothing tentative about her kiss. Her lips parted for him, and he pushed his tongue inside
as his hands slid down her back and gripped her ass, hauling her even closer and lifting her so her
feet left the ground. He backed her up until she hit the trunk of the oak tree, then he kissed her some
more.
Hot, wet kisses, with an edge of desperation, their tongues stroking, caressing. His dick was rock
hard now, and his balls ached viciously. How had it gotten so hot, so fast? She wasn’t his type, but
with her breasts squashed against his chest and her stomach pressed against his cock, his body didn’t
agree.
A little longer. Then he’d walk away.
His hands slid down her thighs and under the skirt, then up again, pausing as his palms hit bare
flesh at the top of her stockings, and his breath hitched in his throat. He went still for a moment.
I am so fucked.
As he stopped kissing her, her small teeth bit into his lower lip in protest. He tried to push himself
away. Really he did, but instead, his hands continued their course, back to her ass, cupping her
through the silky material of her panties. Then he lifted her up.
“Wrap your legs around me,” he whispered against her lips, waiting for her to come to her senses
and push him away. Instead her legs clasped his hips, pressing her sex into him, rubbing up against
him, and it felt so fucking good. He dug his fingers into the soft flesh of her ass, urging her closer until
he thought he might come right there, in his pants, and embarrass himself. Still, he couldn’t stop. She
felt too damn good. Her hands were in his hair, holding his mouth to hers, but he needed more.
Just a little more.
Then he’d call a halt.
There was too much material between them. He needed her hot little pussy bare, needed to know if
she was as turned on as he was.
He braced his legs, putting most of the weight on his good one, then pulled slightly away, breaking
the kiss, and a mewl of protest escaped her. Turning her, he lowered her to the grass, coming down on
one knee between her sprawled legs. The dress was still pushed up, the pale skin of her thighs
gleamed in the dim light, and he could see the black silk of her panties. His mouth went dry and his
cock pulsed, almost painful now.
Her eyes were half-closed, her lips slightly parted, her breasts rising and falling with her shallow
breaths.
Last chance to back out, buddy.
He ignored the little voice and studied her for a moment. The dress tied at the waist, and he tugged
on the knot at her side, every second waiting for her to object. She stared up at him, blinking, but
remained silent, and he reached down slowly and parted the material. Beneath it she wore a black
silk and lace bra and matching panties. Her breasts were full and her waist narrow above the curve of
her hips, her skin flawless and creamy. He trailed a hand down over the swell of one breast, her
breath catching as he scraped over the prominent nipple.
He rubbed it and her hips pushed upward. Then he lowered himself over her, bit down on the taut
peak through the lace of her bra, and sucked hard.
She let out a gasp and he glanced up.
Her eyes were wide, startled. But he guessed she wasn’t going to do the sensible thing. Still,
something made him give her one last chance. Because he’d passed sensible way back. Probably the
moment their lips touched.
“Are you sure?” he asked, and held his breath because if she said no, he didn’t think he’d survive
the disappointment.
He’d yearned for this feeling since he’d made that vow to get laid. Now it was here, the heat
boiling inside him with her every touch. Hell, every time she looked at him.
She held his gaze then reached out a hand and trailed her fingers down over the bulge in his pants.
Hell, yeah. He’d take that as a yes. Fire shot through him, sizzling along his nerves, heating his blood.
His eyes closed for a second, he gritted his teeth then placed his hand over hers and tugged it away.
“Not a good idea, honey.” He was going to last all of about five seconds once he got inside her,
which meant he had to make sure she came first. “Relax,” he murmured. “Let me take care of you.”
He trailed a finger down her flat stomach, then over the silk covering her mound, and between her
thighs. He traced the seam of her sex through the silk and she shifted restlessly. Her lower lip was
caught between her teeth, and he studied her expression as his finger slid beneath the silk and pushed
slowly inside.
Shit, she was so wet.
The knowledge that she was as aroused as he was, sent a shaft of heat down his cock, along his
spine. He pressed his finger up inside her and her eyes drifted closed, her hips rising from the grass.
He slipped his finger over her sex, found the swollen little nub of her clit, and stroked her gently. Her
eyes flew open.
“You like?”
She opened her mouth, then closed it again and gave a nod.
After hooking a finger in the lace, he slowly slid the panties down over her legs, past the high
heels, and she was bare for him to see. The curls between her thighs were dark in the low light. He
lowered his head and blew lightly on them. Her thighs clamped closed, and he chuckled.
From her responses, he was guessing she wasn’t very experienced. And he loved that. Loved being
the one to show her pleasure. He would have liked to spend more time exploring her body—he was
unlikely to get another chance—but things were getting desperate, and he needed inside her soon,
before he exploded.
Not going to happen.
His first time in over five years was not going to be an epic failure. He needed her to come and
come hard. Preferably screaming his name.
He stroked his palm down one leg then pushed his hand between them, parted her thighs and
lowered himself to lie between them. His face was close to her sex, and breathing in, his nostrils
filled with the scent of hot, aroused woman. God, he’d missed this. How the hell had he gone so long?
He used one hand to part her, then slowly pushed his tongue inside, tasting the salty sweetness. His
impossibly hard dick got even harder until it pressed painfully against his fly. She’d gone totally still,
but she was making no effort to close her legs, so he presumed she wasn’t entirely against the idea.
Good.
He licked over her sex, his tongue circling the swollen bud, and still she didn’t move. Then he
stroked over her clit and her back arched, a little squeak escaping her. He stroked again, gently, and
she pushed against his mouth to deepen the contact. He held her still and circled the sensitive nub
with the tip of his tongue, teasing. Her body writhed against his hold; he would swear she was close,
and she was panting as though she couldn’t get enough air in her lungs.
Finally, when she was shuddering against his mouth, he sucked her clit, softly at first, then harder, at
the same time he shoved two fingers inside her—
And she exploded around him.
Thank Christ.
He gave her one last lick, before coming up on his knees. She lay sprawled in front of him, her face
flushed, eyes half closed, legs parted.
Reaching down, he flicked open the button on his pants, then lowered the zipper, and his cock
sprang free.
The relief was huge. But not huge enough.
He reached into his back pocket, pulled out his wallet, and found the condom Logan had tucked in
there at the same time as he’d left the box in the car.
Thank you, Logan.
He ripped the foil packet and rolled the condom down over his shaft. He silenced the little niggle
that said no way should he be doing this. He wasn’t sure he could stop now.
He glanced at her face. She was gazing up at him as if he was everything she had ever wanted.
Well, she could have him, and he lowered himself over her.
Chapter Five
Oh. My. God.
Her whole body pulsated. That had been…more than she had ever dreamed of. His head between
her thighs was the most erotic thing she had ever seen. She could have come just from looking at him.
But the feel of his hot wet tongue had been out of this world. A ripple of residual pleasure ran through
her.
He lowered himself over her, balancing on his elbows. Then he kissed her, and she could taste
herself on his lips. She wasn’t sure about that, but didn’t have time to analyze the feelings because his
cock was nudging at the entrance to her body. And he was hot and huge, and she had this appalling
idea that he wouldn’t actually fit.
He hadn’t been this big in her fantasies. Her vibrator certainly wasn’t as big.
Maybe she should have told him she’d never done this before. Well, not in real life anyway. But she
had a feeling that little piece of trivia might have shattered the mood.
And might still shatter the mood…
Yeah. She was definitely not telling him she was a virgin.
Or at least would be until…
She clamped her lips closed and screwed her eyes up tight as he filled her with one hard thrust of
his hips.
Surprisingly, he went in easily. And he was in there all the way. She’d felt no pain, just a stretching
and a fullness.
Not so bad.
She could do this. She might even enjoy it. She gave a little wiggle of her hips, and he groaned, a
low, almost painful sound.
She opened one eye and peeked up at him. And almost wished she hadn’t. His eyes were closed,
nostrils flared, lips tight. He looked fierce and gorgeous and a whole lot of desperate. He wanted her,
that was for sure, and at the thought, something twisted in her chest.
His eyes opened, dark as midnight, and he stared down at her. “Okay?” She nodded, and the corner
of his lips tilted. “Thank God.”
Then he was moving, pulling out of her slowly, lulling her into a sense of security. He was almost
out, and her fingers itched with the need to drag him back. Not for long. He shoved back into her, hard
and fast, and she bit back a yelp more of shock than pain.
“Sorry,” he muttered, going still above her.
“No, it’s good.” He was big, and she bent her knees to give him more room, wrapped her legs
around his waist and lifted her hips in silent encouragement.
He didn’t need any more. He drew back, pushed in, out, then in. Her brain ceased to function, and
she gave herself up to the overpowering feelings engulfing her. Lowering himself closer, he nuzzled
her neck, and her senses filled up with the scent of him, warm male, salty, some sharp citrusy smell.
His hard body rubbed against her breasts with each thrust, and all the feelings coalesced into a warm
heavy weight of pleasure swelling inside her.
She could already feel her orgasm building, and she rolled her hips trying to get some relief. He
must have noticed because he changed his rhythm, and with each stroke, he ground his pelvic bone
over her sensitized clit. She relaxed, gave herself over to the feelings, let the swell of pleasure burst
and wash over her.
He sped up, coming up on his elbows, his movements almost frantic, and she gripped his shoulders
so she wouldn’t be swept away. Finally, his back arched and he came with a low groan.
“Christ.”
He kept pumping into her as though he couldn’t stop. At last he collapsed onto her, then almost
immediately he pulled away and rolled onto his back, arms flung over his head.
As soon as he was gone, Lexi became aware of her surroundings, a stone digging into her spine, the
stars above them, the lights of the city. He was quiet and hadn’t moved, and she shifted onto her side
to look at him.
He was still wearing his shirt, fully buttoned, and his suit pants, which were open. Not the most
romantic sight in the world. But then this wasn’t about romance. She wasn’t actually sure what it was
about. Desperation was probably the best explanation on her part, and she was beginning to think it
might also be a good description of Josh’s state of mind. Obviously, she didn’t have anything to
compare it to, but there had definitely been more than a hint of desperation in his actions.
As though he sensed her watching him, his face turned toward her, and his eyes opened. They held a
sleepy, almost sated look as his gaze wandered over her. Her dress was wide open, and her panties
were somewhere in the grass, and her body was all warm and tingly and sensitive. She didn’t want to
move.
He sat up and ran a hand through his hair. “That was fucking fantastic,” he muttered. “And shouldn’t
have happened. But right now I feel too good to think about it.” He discretely disposed of the condom,
straightened his clothes, and then got to his feet. Shoving his hands in his pockets, he raised an
eyebrow.
Clearly Josh was a love ’em and leave ’em sort of guy, and she wasn’t moving fast enough. At least
he wasn’t just walking away.
She got to her feet and pulled the dress around her, searching for her panties in the grass. Josh bent
down, picked something up, and tossed the scrap of lace to her. She decided not to put them on—they
were probably covered in ants—and balled them into her fist.
He was already walking away. As she followed, a sense of anticlimax prodded at her. But really,
what had she expected: a declaration of true love? No, she didn’t expect or want that. She wasn’t sure
what she wanted, or why her eyes were prickling.
Get a grip.
He glanced back over his shoulder, a look of irritation on his face, as though he couldn’t wait to get
out of there, and she hurried to catch up. Taking the lead, she led him back to the gate they had come
through. It was locked now, and she pulled the key from her purse and fumbled a little as she opened
it. He followed her through. She locked the gate behind her, then traipsed after him to his car.
He was already opening the door, but he turned to face her. “I’ll wait until you’re safe inside,” he
said, nodding toward the house.
What a gentleman.
So he was going, just like that. Maybe it was for the best. But her eyes felt tight and she blinked.
She shrugged away the feeling until she was alone and could analyze it without fear of
embarrassing herself. Instead, she gave him a quick nod and headed for the gate at the back of her
garden. She turned before she opened it.
“Thank you,” she said politely. “That was…nice.” She didn’t wait for an answer, just slipped
inside and didn’t look back. The car door slammed as she was halfway across the yard.
Ten minutes later, as she drifted off to sleep, it occurred to her that an annulment was no longer an
option.
…
It was only eight in the morning when Josh pulled up outside the house. But he wanted this over with.
Had she played him?
When he’d left her, he’d been totally aware that he’d acted like a jerk, that he should have been…
nicer, said something complimentary. He’d been so busy beating himself up that it hadn’t occurred to
him until he was halfway home that now, thanks to his disobedient dick—he’d told it to stay in his
pants—an easy annulment wasn’t an option.
Had that been her intention all along?
He’d talked to his lawyer that morning, and a quickie divorce was now his best bet. But it would
mean neither party disputing it.
Had she taken advantage of a vulnerable man desperate for sex? Any sex. Except it hadn’t been any
sex. It might have been awhile, but still he reckoned it was the best sex he’d ever had. God, but she’d
felt good. Hot and wet and tight around him. He shifted in the seat, just the memory having the power
to drain the blood from his brain to his dick.
And he needed his brain for the coming conversation.
He remembered the moment she’d tripped in those ridiculous heels. Had she fallen on purpose? But
played or not, there was going to be no repeat performance, and his dick would have to accept that.
He hadn’t taken much notice of the house the night before, his attention all on Lexi. The road was
wide, and the buildings all detached, with big gardens so they stood well back from the street. In an
affluent part of the city, close to Hampstead Heath, this place must be worth millions.
But the actual house gave off an air of unkemptness. The wrought iron gates were in need of
painting. They were shut, but through them he could make out a badly maintained garden, the lawn
overgrown, huge rhododendron bushes overhanging the drive and obscuring the house from his view.
Last night she’d said she had a gardener—the man was doing a crap job.
A squeal rang out and a child raced into view, followed by a dog—a three-legged dog, who didn’t
seem at all hampered by his disability. They disappeared from sight and Josh frowned, checked the
address one more time. Could the child be Lexi’s? Then he realized that he was too old; he must have
been eight, at least.
The gate opened when he pushed, and he stepped inside and closed it behind him. Toys littered the
lawn, and a swing and slide set stood by the perimeter wall. The house was beautiful. The clean
square lines appealed to him, but like the garden it was in definite need of some attention. The red
paint of the front door was faded and peeling. A rambling rose, covered in yellow flowers, obscured
most of the stonework.
A huge wolfhound-type dog lay on the bottom step; it raised its head as he passed but made no other
move. Two cats dozed on the window ledge, and as he halted by the front door, a couple of moth-
eaten chickens strutted out from behind a rhododendron. They hopped up the steps and stood, eyeing
him up beadily.
Surreal.
He shook his head.
The front door was slightly ajar. Where was the doorbell? When he didn’t find one, he knocked on
the wood—
And the door swung open. He could hear the low murmur of voices, but no one came to his knock.
He stepped inside. The hallway was as shabby as the outside of the house, but strangely
welcoming. The floors were wooden, the walls dark red and hung at every few feet with paintings of
animals. Weirdly bizarre paintings. He was staring at one of a blue and purple cockerel when a door
off to the side opened. A woman stood there. Not Lexi. She had to be at least seventy, slender, with
long white hair tied back and paint-spattered jeans. Lexi’s mother? Somehow he didn’t think so.
“Joshua?”
“Yeah?”
“Is Lexi expecting you?”
“Not exactly.”
She frowned. “I’ll let her know you’re here.”
…
She slept long and hard and woke with a headache.
They were going to have to talk…again…and she really hoped Josh wasn’t going to be difficult.
Maybe he’d still be floating about in a happy post-coital haze. But somehow she doubted she’d be
that lucky.
The weird thing was, although she’d thought about it in the car, in the end, she hadn’t had sex to
hold him, or to stop him getting the annulment he was so keen on. She’d done it because she wanted
him. Just once. He was her fantasy lover. And she hadn’t been able to let go of that fantasy. Not
without at least one real memory.
Had it occurred to him that an annulment was no longer a viable option?
Would he be angry?
But really, it had been his fault as much as hers. Even so, she had to remember that Josh wasn’t her
friend. He wasn’t her lover. He was a man she had made a business deal with who she just happened
to have spent the last few years fantasizing about. In reality, he was nothing to her. And she was
nothing to him. Not like all the other people and animals who relied on her.
She had to think of them and find a way to convince Josh to cooperate.
Money was out of the question. He’d clearly done well for himself.
What else could she do? Appeal to his better nature? Did he even have one?
Would he come to see her or was she going to have to see him?
And then there was Harry’s imminent arrival to deal with. Could she put him in the basement? And
her grandmother and Daniel’s appointment to get through. The urge to pull the covers over her head
and hide overwhelmed her.
“Lexi!”
Someone shouted up the stairs. She couldn’t tell who with the blankets over her head, and she
reluctantly pushed them down and waited for more.
“There’s someone to see you.” Jean’s voice shouted up the stairwell.
Her heart sank.
Let the day commence.
…
He watched as Jean came back down the stairs. He’d heard her shout from the first floor landing.
“Lexi will be down in a moment,” she said.
“Thanks.”
“Why don’t you come through to the kitchen and wait?”
He followed her through the door and into a huge kitchen. The scent of fresh bread filled the air,
and his stomach rumbled. The place was crowded. A big wooden table stood in the center of the
room, a large tabby cat curled up in the middle, and people were seated all around. Two more dogs
stretched out on the floor, and another chicken sat in a basket to the side of a huge empty fireplace.
“That’s Tom,” Jean said.
Tom nodded. He was a dark-haired man in his early twenties, dressed in jeans and a T-shirt, his
expression not particularly friendly. This was the man Lexi had mentioned last night?
“And that’s Sarah.” Jean gestured toward a woman in her early thirties who waggled her fingers at
him. “And Jason and Chloe.” The boy he’d seen in the garden, his hand resting on the head of the
three-legged dog, and a little girl a couple of years younger. Neither looked anything like Lexi. Who
the hell were all these people?
“Hi,” he said to the room in general. “I’m Josh.”
Jean pulled out a chair from the table, gently nudged off a sleeping kitten. “Have a seat. I’m sure
she won’t be long.”
Tom snorted. “Lexi’s not at her best in the mornings. She doesn’t move very quickly.”
Josh cast him a sharp look. How the hell did he know what Lexi was like first thing in the morning?
Last night, Lexi had said there was nothing between the two of them. What had she said about the
other man—she’d met him on the Heath one day and invited him to move in? The woman was a
danger to herself. She needed someone to look after her.
But not me.
He didn’t do looking after.
Not anymore. Never again.
He glanced at the chair; he didn’t want to sit. He might need to make a quick getaway. They were
all studying him. Did they know who he was? He edged into the room and perched on the seat.
“Can I get you a coffee?” Jean asked, pulling him from his thoughts. He found he was staring at the
chicken as it clucked softly. Who the hell had a live chicken in their kitchen?
“No, thanks.”
Nobody said anything, and he looked longingly at the door. After ten minutes, Tom put his mug
down and got to his feet. “I’m off to work.”
The others all rose one by one. “I have to take the kids to school,” Sarah said.
“And you can drop me off in the High Street.” Jean collected all the mugs and put them in the sink,
and a minute later Josh was alone.
The place was a complete and utter madhouse.
The house was more like a rescue center for stray humans and chickens than a civilized home. He
had the urge to…tidy everything up, to ask them what they were doing—no doubt freeloading off his
far too generous wife.
He thought about getting up and getting a coffee, but instead sat tracing patterns on the scrubbed
wooden table with one finger. A sense of peace filled him—unexpected, but there was something
about this house, despite the chaos, that was restful. Maybe it was all the sleeping animals, a lullaby
of gentle snores.
He’d been restless for a long time; he hadn’t noticed as it crept up on him. Not unhappy exactly—
he’d been too busy to be unhappy, but plagued by a nagging sense of futility. What was all the hard
work for? He’d come so far, overcome his crappy background, but for what?
In the six weeks since that damn cruise ship had gone down, he’d examined his life from every
angle, trying to come up with answers for how he wanted to move forward. It was strange, but the
accident had changed him more than he would have thought possible. Coming face-to-face with death
would do that. Recuperating at Vito’s villa on Sicily, he’d had a lot of time to think, but he had failed
to come up with any solutions.
He’d thought all he wanted was sex. But last night he’d had sex…and now he wanted more sex.
Had woken that morning with a raging hard-on, and he was fed up with jerking off in the shower.
He knew what he didn’t want—he didn’t want to be responsible for anyone else. That was never
going to change. But did it mean he had to go through life alone? Wasn’t that the way he liked things?
Since he was seventeen, he’d pushed everyone away, isolated himself. But Logan and Vito had
become true friends. Logan actually lived not far from here—he’d recognized the road as he drove up
this morning.
The dogs all jumped up and hurled themselves at the door, dragging him from his thoughts.
Whatever else, she wasn’t trying to impress him. Lexi stood in the doorway, wearing faded jeans
torn at the knee and a pale pink camisole top that looked like she might have slept in it. And nothing
underneath—which meant he could see her nipples pressed against the soft cotton. He wished he
hadn’t noticed that.
Her feet were bare, and her hair looked like it hadn’t been combed, a wild tangle of dark red curls.
Smothering a yawn with one hand, she stroked the dogs with the other, and then she eyed him warily
as she shuffled across the kitchen toward the coffee machine on the other side. With her back to him,
she poured a cup and then stood staring out of the window as she sipped the coffee.
He waited for her to turn, but he didn’t speak. She was so small, tiny, almost fragile. She hadn’t felt
fragile last night. He had a flashback to the feel of her arms around him, holding him tight. The taste of
her. And with that thought, he had another surge of inconvenient blood to his groin.
Don’t go there.
“You have a chicken,” he said as she finally turned around. The words sounded almost like an
accusation.
She blinked as though trying to make sense of his words. “That’s Prudence.” She waved a hand at
the chicken by the fireplace. “But I have four. They’re rescue chickens.”
“What the hell is a rescue chicken?”
“They’re ex-battery hens. From a battery farm. There’s this organization that frees them, but then
they need new homes. Did you know, chickens are actually very intelligent? They can recognize up to
a hundred individuals.”
He shook his head as if it was beyond his comprehension.
“And they lay eggs.” She shrugged. “I like chickens.”
“And who the hell were all those people?”
“They live there.” She gave another little lift of her shoulders. “It’s a big house. There’s plenty of
room.”
She sank onto the seat opposite him. As she took a deep breath, he caught a fleeting glimpse of
vulnerability in her face before she blanked out her expression. “I’ll give you more money if you keep
to the original deal.”
His muscles tightened. She thought she could pay him off? “Do you think your money can buy
everything?”
Her arched brows drew together. “It bought you the first time,” she pointed out in a reasonable tone
that had anger sizzling along his nerves.
But she was right. However much he might hate it, it had been her money that had started his
business. Without it, he would have been successful eventually, but it would have taken him a lot
longer. That hadn’t been why he’d taken the money, it had been for something else entirely. Something
he’d considered vitally important at the time. It had turned out not to matter. He could have given the
money back then. But he hadn’t, so maybe he deserved her comment. But it didn’t make him like the
situation anymore.
“I don’t need your money.”
She sighed and rubbed a finger between her eyes, as though she had a headache. “I was afraid of
that. But we can’t get an annulment.”
“Did you arrange that?”
Something flashed in her eyes, and his anger ratcheted a notch. “Did I deliberately set out to seduce
you so you couldn’t get an annulment?” She shook her head. “No. You don’t know me very well, but
that isn’t something I would do.”
But he’d seen that telltale flash of guilt in her eyes, and now her skin colored slightly. He was a
goddamn idiot, taken in by a pretty face and a lush little body.
“Then we’ll get a divorce.”
“I’ll contest it, and it will take more than the six months I’ve asked for. Why not accept it, and then
afterward we can get the divorce and you’ll be free of me.” She gave him that sweet smile, the one
that did weird things to his insides and made him want to be a better person. And he hardened himself
to the reaction.
“Come on, Josh. It’s the only sensible option.”
Thing was—he hated being manipulated. And he had a feeling she was doing just that.
“No, there’s another option. How about you agree to the quickie divorce my lawyer is drawing up
right now, or I pay a visit to Grandmamma and tell her about out little arrangement?”
He didn’t wait for her to reply—the look of horror in her eyes was answer enough. And suddenly
he felt like a complete piece of shit. But she thought she could play him, and he hated that.
He pushed back his chair and rose to his feet. “Call me and let me know your decision.”
Fifteen minutes later, he was sitting at the table in Logan’s much smarter kitchen—all black and silver
and immaculately clean and organized, and not a chicken in sight.
“How’s it going?” Logan asked.
He shrugged. “I fucked things up big time.”
Logan raised an eyebrow.
“You could say I fucked and I fucked up.”
“You slept with your wife?”
“We didn’t actually sleep.” What would it be like to sleep wrapped around all that softness?
“You had sex with the woman you were going to get an annulment from?”
“Yeah.”
“I thought she wasn’t your type.”
“She isn’t.”
Logan rubbed a hand along his jawline. “I suppose after five years that probably wouldn’t make
much of a difference.”
“I think she played me. She said no to the annulment.”
“And then seduced you to make sure?”
“Maybe.” Actually he was pretty sure they’d seduced each other.
Logan was grinning. “Poor Josh. Taken advantage of by a woman.”
“Now she wants us to stay married for six months, then she’ll give me a quiet, quickie divorce.”
“Would that be so bad?”
“Shit yeah. I want to be free. I want more sex, and I don’t mean married sex.” He ran a hand through
his hair. “She scares me. She’s, like, totally crazy and disorganized and scattered as hell, and she has
all these hangers-on—animals and people. She has a chicken in her kitchen—not a dead one like
normal people, but a real live fucking chicken. It even has a name. And it doesn’t like me. And she
has this family, and they’re all assholes, and she needs looking after. Seriously. And I don’t do that
shit. She is everything I do not want. So from now on, no more sex with my fucking wife.”
Logan’s lips twitched.
“Don’t fucking laugh at me. I’m in trouble. I haven’t felt this horny since I was fourteen. I need this
fixed and soon.”
“What else?”
“I sort of threatened to tell her asshole relatives that she wasn’t really married.”
“Wrong move.”
“Definitely.” Especially as there was no way he’d do it. He hated making empty threats.
Logan thought for a moment. “Is she a bad person?”
“No, she’s…nice.”
“Then go talk to her. You’d be amazed by how much talking can achieve. Find out why she needs to
stay married, and maybe you can sort something out between you.”
Yeah, talk to her.
But no touching.
He’d phone. How much trouble could he get into on the phone?
Chapter Six
Lexi wasn’t sure what she’d expected from Josh’s business, but this wasn’t it. Maybe some sleazy
back office where he…did what?
What did a security company do? She’d presumed it was something like a private investigator, and
he spent his time trailing unfaithful husbands and wives, or acting as a bouncer at clubs.
Perhaps she was wrong. Anyway, whatever he did, it was clearly lucrative.
His offices were in a tower block on one of the new business estates on the Isle of Dogs—a big
glass and chrome tower, and according to the plaque on the wall, Slater Security took up the first
three floors, plus the basement.
Maybe she should have dressed up. She was still wearing her oldest “comfort” jeans, which she’d
pulled on that morning, but at least she’d added shoes and a bra—she had noticed him staring at her
nipples earlier. And she’d combed her hair, pulling it into a tight ponytail.
He’d told her to call, but really, this was better face-to-face. Wasn’t it? She took a deep breath and
pushed through the revolving doors, then stood for a moment in the marble-floored reception area. A
stainless steel counter ran along the far wall, with a handsome young man in a suit behind it. She
wandered across and peered over.
“I’d like to see Joshua Slater, please.” Actually, that wasn’t strictly true. She needed to see him.
She didn’t really believe he would go visit her grandmother, at least, not without talking to her again.
He had obviously come to the conclusion she’d seduced him on purpose. And that had pissed him off.
“Do you have an appointment?”
Sometimes being small and cute helped. She gave him a smile. “Could you tell him Lexi is here?”
His eyes widened a little, but he picked up the phone. “Of course. Just one moment.”
He spoke quietly into the phone, and then he put it down a moment later. “He’s in the gym. Down
one floor. Take the elevator and someone will meet you.”
She took the elevator down a floor. When the doors opened, a woman was waiting. “Lexi?”
She nodded.
“I’m Sally, Josh’s PA. Would you come with me and I’ll take you to him?”
The woman was tall, blonde, sleek, and sophisticated in a charcoal gray business suit. Everything
Lexi wasn’t. This whole thing was making her insecurities rise to the surface, and she hated that. As
she hesitated, Sally glanced back over her shoulder and then slowed down so Lexi walked beside her.
“You’re Josh’s wife?” she asked.
Lexi wasn’t sure what to say to that one. No was probably the correct answer, though maybe now
she did qualify for the title. Anyway, she had no alternative to offer, so she nodded.
“Sorry, I meant not to ask, but I couldn’t resist.” Sally gave a quick grin. “Then again, it’s my duty.
I’m going to get a lot of questions, and I want to be prepared.”
“Questions?”
“Well, we really thought he’d invented you to keep us all at a distance. But here you are. Everyone
is going to want to know everything. ”
“They are?”
“Oh yeah.”
She was processing the information about keeping his distance. Perhaps he didn’t like to combine
business with pleasure. “How long have you worked for him?”
“Four years.”
“And is Josh a good boss?”
“The best. Here we are.” She came to a halt in front of a door. “He’ll be finished soon. You can go
in and wait if you like.”
“What’s he—”
But Sally was already gone.
Lexi hesitated for a moment, then turned the handle and pushed open the door. She blinked a couple
of times as she took in the scene. The room was square, with white walls, no furniture, and one
mirrored wall. Two men were fighting, doing some sort of kung-fuey thing. She recognized Josh and
stood for a minute in the doorway, watching him.
He was dressed in black drawstring pants and nothing else.
Holy crap. He’s hot.
The pants hung low on his hips, revealing a stomach ridged with muscle and a broad chest with a
light sprinkling of golden hair. His shoulders were broad, and he moved with the lethal grace of a big
cat.
He whirled around and kicked out, hitting the other guy in the chest, which brought him face-to-face
with Lexi. He went motionless, one leg still in the air, eyes locked on her small figure. The other man
took advantage of his distraction and swept Josh’s legs out from under him. Josh crashed to the floor.
He lay there staring at the ceiling, and Lexi took a hesitant step into the room.
The other man turned to look at her, a rueful expression crossing his face. “I should have known
there was a reason I got the drop on him.” He was dressed the same as Josh, and a quick glance
showed he was pretty gorgeous himself, but somehow her gaze kept straying back to Josh.
Maybe he was hurt. He had recently broken his leg. But he didn’t look in pain. She wasn’t sure
what he looked. Was he angry she’d come here?
The other man glanced between the two of them. “I take it you two know each other?”
Josh rolled easily to his feet. He scrubbed a hand through his hair. “Pete, this is Lexi. Lexi, this is
Pete. Pete, get out.”
He grinned. “Sure thing, sarge.”
She stepped to the side. As he walked passed her, he gave a quick nod. “Mrs. Slater.” He pulled the
door shut behind him, leaving her alone in the room with a half-naked Josh. She tried not to stare;
really, she did—super hard. And she failed even harder. So she gave in and looked her fill.
They’d had sex last night, but she hadn’t really seen him. Mainly because he’d kept all his clothes
on. Which had seemed extra sexy at the time. But nearly-naked Josh was far sexier than clothed Josh.
She made another feeble attempt to look away, only to get hooked on his image in the mirror behind
him. He had a really great ass and a smooth golden back with a round scar on his left shoulder like a
bullet wound.
He also had a tattoo down his left arm, some sort of writing, but she couldn’t see what it said—
she’d have to get a lot closer to do that. She edged toward him. His whole body gleamed with a fine
sheen of sweat. He hadn’t moved since the other man left, but now he turned and strode to the side of
the room, grabbed a towel from the floor, and wiped it across his face and then his chest.
He opened his mouth to speak, but then he closed it again and rubbed the towel over his short hair.
“Are you okay?” she asked.
His eyes widened in surprise at the question. “Yeah.”
“Was that Kung-fu?”
His lips twitched. “Sort of. Mixed martial arts. You want to try?”
“I don’t—” The words were snatched from her mouth as he moved faster than she could have
imagined and hooked a foot around the back of her leg. Then she was falling. She let out a yelp as his
hands caught her shoulders and lowered her so she lay on her back. She swallowed, then blinked.
“What was that for?”
He released his hold and straightened. “Payback for distracting me.”
“Oh.” She should move, but she lay there staring up at him where he stood, legs parted, feet on
either side of her hips. Her skin prickled where he’d touched, and she couldn’t tear her gaze from the
bulge at his groin. Was it getting bigger?
It was definitely getting bigger.
Heat curled in her belly, warmth spreading through her limbs. She shifted, and his eyes narrowed,
then he spun around and stepped away.
When he turned back to her, his face was expressionless. “I was going to call you later.”
She pushed herself to her feet, brushing herself down. “I’m sorry to disturb you. But your assistant
brought me down here. I would have waited.”
He swiped his tongue along his lower lip, and she had a sudden flashback to last night. His mouth
between her thighs, his tongue… Heat washed over her, her body suddenly heavy and sensitive and…
this was so not the time. They needed to talk. Besides, he’d made it very clear that last night was a
one off. And he still believed she’d seduced him on purpose. Ha. As if she’d know how.
Because if I did…
He shrugged. “It’s not a problem.”
They stood in awkward silence for a minute. Was it her imagination or did his gaze stray to her
breasts? Then he gave another shrug. “Give me a second and I’ll grab a T-shirt. We can go up to my
office and talk.
She wanted to tell him he didn’t need the T-shirt, but somehow managed to keep the words inside.
As he passed her, she caught a whiff of fresh sweat and soap and warm man and almost swooned
toward him.
Get a grip, Lexi.
She followed him out the door then waited as he slipped into another room and came out
straightaway, a black T-shirt clutched in his fist. He didn’t put the T-shirt on, just carried it as he led
the way back toward the elevator. Perhaps she should suggest he wear it, because he was really very
distracting without it. She cast a quick sideways peek. He had flat brown nipples with little turfs of
golden hair and more golden hair led the way down his belly, disappearing beneath the waistband of
his pants. Her mouth went dry, and she swallowed.
The elevator doors opened, and he ushered her in. She stared at her feet while they rose then at his
—he’d slipped on some trainers. Finally, she lifted her head and latched onto his face, trying to avoid
the bits in between because they were too disturbing.
“You obviously work out a lot,” she said.
“I do?” His lips twitched.
Yeah, she was so funny. She waved a hand in the general direction of his body. “Well, you have a
lot of muscles.” She sneaked another peek, and this time her gaze snagged once again on the bulge in
his pants, and she looked away quickly, only to get hooked on his bare chest again. “Put the goddamn
T-shirt on,” she muttered. “We need to talk.”
He chuckled. “Am I distracting you?”
“Hell, yes. I’m not used to half naked men.”
He frowned at that comment, but the doors opened at that moment, and he did actually pull the T-
shirt on, giving her a quick flash of his armpits and more silky gold hair.
She sighed as she followed him. You reap what you sow. She was reaping the effects of five years
of fantasies, and having to accept that he was better in the flesh than anything her imagination had ever
conjured up.
They passed a few people, who all studied her curiously, then came to a desk in front of a set of
mahogany doors. Sally sat behind the desk and smiled at Lexi, then Josh. “Hey, boss.”
Josh ignored her and pushed open the doors into a huge corner office. There was a desk and chair,
and a black leather sofa along one wall. “Come in,” he said.
She followed him inside, and as the door closed she had a last glimpse of Sally craning her neck to
see them, and then they were alone. Josh crossed to a coffeemaker on the side and poured two cups,
brought them across, and put them on the table in front of the sofa.
“Sit,” he said. He really was good at giving orders, presumably from his time as a sergeant in the
army. But she wasn’t one of his soldiers, and it made her want to do the opposite. She reminded
herself that she needed something from him, so she perched obediently on the edge of the seat. He sat
beside her but about a foot away, and she swiveled a little so she could watch his face.
“So talk,” he said.
She thought for a moment, but her mind was still on his chest, and she couldn’t seem to coordinate
her thoughts. Instead she looked around the office. It was huge and impressive. “You seem like you’re
doing well,” she said, if only to put off the main topic of conversation until she’d gotten her brain
functioning again.
“Not too bad. For someone a little slow.”
She shrugged. “Sorry about that.”
“Don’t worry. Luckily, I’m not the sensitive type.” He studied her for a moment. “Tell me,” he said.
“Last night, did you set out to seduce me so we couldn’t get an annulment?”
She could feel the heat creep up over her face. “No… Not really.” She pressed a palm to her
burning cheek. “Not at all, actually.”
“Which is it?”
She tugged on her ponytail. “It did occur to me while we were in the car after dinner. But then I
decided that…” Crap, how did she put this?
“That…?”
“That I’d just make a complete idiot of myself if I tried. I haven’t got the faintest idea of how to
seduce anyone, and I thought you’d end up laughing at me.”
“Why the hell would I laugh at you? Did you see me laughing?”
“No, but I don’t know you, so…”
“Wait a minute. Why don’t you have any idea how to seduce anyone?”
“Because I’ve never done it before.”
“Seduced anyone?”
She gave an exasperated sigh. “Slept with anyone.”
He went still, his brows drawing together. “Say that again.”
She pursed her lips. “I’ve never slept with anyone. And it’s no big deal.”
He scrubbed a hand through his hair. “You reckon? So let me get this straight. You’re a virgin?”
She rolled her eyes. “Er…no. Not anymore.”
“You didn’t feel like a virgin.” He looked at her accusingly.
She shrugged and squirmed on the seat. “It’s not like I’ve never, you know… I’ve got a vibrator.”
“Fuck.” He closed his eyes for a second. “I wish you hadn’t told me that.”
“So, to answer your original question, no, I did not seduce you on purpose.” She picked up her cup
and sipped her coffee.
“Why?”
She didn’t think he was asking why she hadn’t seduced him. “Why what?”
“Why were you a virgin?”
“It just never happened. But mainly because a lot of people know I’m married. It wouldn’t have felt
right.”
“Did I hurt you?”
She frowned. “Of course not.”
“Jesus. A fucking virgin.”
Time to get off the subject. “Anyway, I was thinking after you left this morning, that we’re both
reasonable people. As such, we should sit down and discuss why you need to be free so quickly.
Then maybe we can come up with a plan that suits us both.”
…
Sounded good.
Problem was, right now he wasn’t feeling too reasonable. A goddamn virgin. He tried to remember
back, but he hadn’t exactly been thinking straight at the time. She’d been tight…all tight and hot and
wet wrapped around his dick… And maybe he’d better not go there because he was already semi-
hard from the vibrator comment. Remembering what it had felt like being buried deep inside her was
not going to help matters. But Christ, he’d been her first. That should mean nothing but it did. He just
wasn’t sure what.
She was watching him expectantly. What had she asked?
“Sorry?” he said.
A flash of annoyance crossed her face. “Why do you need to end the marriage now? Is there
someone else? Last night, you said you didn’t want to marry another woman.”
“Hell, no.” As soon as he spoke, he wished he’d not been quite so emphatic. Maybe he should have
told her there was someone else. He planned on there being someone else as soon as he was free, but
certainly not for marriage, and he had no one particular in mind yet. He didn’t believe in lying,
though.
“So why? We’ve been…married for nearly five years. Why not wait another six months?”
Shit. He stood up, strode to the window, stared out. This was going to sound so fucking lame.
Finally he turned back to her. “I want sex.”
“Now?” The word came out as a squeak. Her eyes were wide, and he realized what she thought.
“Shit. No. Not now, and not with you.”
Her face fell. He guessed that had been a little harsh. But really, it was a bad idea. It had been a
bad idea last night and was an even worse one this morning. No way did he want her to get the
impression that this marriage was in any way real. He did not want to go there. Had she been a
different sort of woman, he might have considered it, and gotten this inconvenient attraction out of his
system. They could spend the next six months having fun, screwing each other’s brains out, and at the
end of that time, they could get a nice, easy divorce and say good-bye.
But she wasn’t a different sort of woman. She was the sort of woman who let homeless people
share her house, who rescued chickens and three legged dogs. She was nice and probably wanted
children of her own and who knew what else. And he didn’t do any of that stuff.
She looked hurt. He hadn’t meant to hurt her, but as she’d said, they needed to get things clear
between them.
“Sex between us would complicate matters.”
“You should have thought of that last night.” She sniffed. “And for your information, if you had
wanted sex now, I would have said no.” She sounded almost like her grandmother, haughty and upper
class, and he had a really stupid urge to prove her wrong. He’d seen the way she looked at him
earlier. She was aware of him as a man, and she wanted him. He could change her mind within
minutes. He could have her flat on her back on that sofa. Or bent over his desk, her ass in the air. He
hadn’t seen her ass yet. This time he’d strip her totally. He wanted to see her breasts as well. His dick
twitched at the thought.
Down boy.
Not a good idea on so many levels.
“Good,” he said. “Then we’re on the same wavelength.” Of course they were. Only his dick was
not quite in agreement.
Her brows drew together, her nose wrinkling. She was cute. “So you want sex. I’m not stopping
you. I presume being married hasn’t stopped you over the last few years. What’s changed?”
He was silent for a minute, suddenly almost embarrassed that he’d been celibate. And he hadn’t
even had a vibrator or whatever the male equivalent was. It was nothing to be ashamed of. Lots of
men were celibate for lots of reasons. But in some ways, it made the marriage seem more real.
Finally, he spoke, “I don’t cheat.”
Her frown deepened. “It’s not cheating if we’re not really married.”
“I know,” he said. “But all the same, that doesn’t work for me. Call me old fashioned, but even if
it’s not technically cheating, it’d still feel like it to me.”
She sucked on her lower lip as she thought through his statement. “So let me get this straight. You
haven’t had sex since we got married?”
He gave a curt nod.
“Not at all?”
“Except for last night.”
A faint wash of color tinted her face. “Five years?”
“Like you said, it’s no big deal. I was busy building up the business. There was no time for
anything else.” In some ways, he hadn’t wanted a woman, had been in a bad place back then. He’d
left the army, which had been his home for many years, and then he’d in effect lost Evie for the second
time. He’d just wanted to be alone. He’d used the whole marriage thing as an excuse if anyone came
on too strong. And really as an excuse to himself. Though he was telling the truth; he didn’t cheat—
even if it was a technicality. His mother had never been faithful to any man, and no way was he going
to be like his mother.
Lexi was still staring at him, disbelief clear in her eyes. It wasn’t that big a deal. Or maybe it was.
“Well, neither have you.”
“But I didn’t know what I was missing.”
And now she did. Would she miss it now? “And you had your vibrator.” Why the hell had he
brought that up?
She ignored the comment. “Well, if you’ve managed for five years, surely you can manage for
another six months.”
He really didn’t think that was an option. He’d awoken the ravenous beast and there was no putting
it back to sleep. All he could think about was sex. Right now, sex with Lexi, but that would change
once he got away from her and severed the ties between them. It was only proximity that had him
thinking about her naked. That’d had her playing the starring role in his fantasy while he’d jerked off
in the shower that morning. She’d been giving him a blow job, her sweet rosebud mouth wrapped
around him, her hands—
“Josh?”
He came out of his fantasy to find her watching him a perplexed expression on her face.
“I made a vow,” he said. God, that sounded pompous.
She shook her head, rubbing at the spot between her brows. “You made a vow to have sex?”
“Yeah.” Now he sounded belligerent. He took a deep breath, then came and sat down beside her,
noticing the way she inched away from him as if he were some dangerous madman. He needed to
make this sound plausible. “I told you. A few weeks ago, I was on this ship that went down. It was
touch and go for a while whether I’d make it. I broke my leg, and we were cut off by fire. Anyway, I
did make it and…well, that sort of thing has a way of changing your life.”
“And so you decided to have sex. Very deep and meaningful.”
He shrugged. “In a way.” God, how did he explain this when he didn’t really understand it himself?
But she deserved an explanation. “I’ve been a little restless lately. The business is doing great, there’s
no reason for me to work all hours, but when I stopped working all the time, I started thinking again.
And I realized I’d put my life on hold.”
“Because of the marriage to me?”
It would be easy to give that as the reason, but it wasn’t true. “No. Marrying you was a symptom.
Not the reason.”
“A symptom of what?”
“It doesn’t matter. Anyway, floating in that lifeboat afterward, realizing how close I’d come to
dying, I decided to change that. A couple of other guys were with me, and we all made these vows to
go back and change something in our lives. And I vowed to have sex.”
“Because to have sex you first needed to sort out the other stuff that was holding you back? Mainly
your marriage to me.”
She was bright. “Yeah. And once I’d decided, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. So I need that
annulment.” Christ he sounded like a selfish bastard.
“And…last night didn’t help?”
He shoved his hands in his pockets and sat back. “Made it worse. I haven’t felt this horny since…
Hell, I’ve never felt this horny.”
“Oh.” She thought for a moment, licked her lips, cast a quick glance at his face and then away. “We
could…”
He knew exactly what she was suggesting, and the blood shot to his groin. He ignored the sensation.
“No, we couldn’t. I want no-strings-sex, not married sex.”
“I don’t have any strings.”
He raised an eyebrow but didn’t comment.
“Hmm. How about I give you some sort of dispensation. Say it’s all right, that you can go out and
have your no-strings-sex, and I don’t mind.”
“You don’t?”
She tossed him a haughty look. “Why would I?”
Because you want me, baby. But he kept those words to himself. They wouldn’t help. “No can do.
I’d still feel like I’m cheating.” He’d thought about it, had been eyeing up women all morning. Sally
was beautiful, and in the past, she’d made it more than clear that she’d be there if he needed anything
—anything at all. But he couldn’t envisage it happening.
“Jesus, you’re difficult.” Lexi scowled at him.
“We men can be single-minded.”
“Maybe we can get you some bromide or something to add to your coffee.”
He chuckled. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d laughed. Logan was right—he was a
miserable bastard.
Her eyes widened at the sound, and she stared at him. Without thought, he found himself inching
closer along the sofa.
Whoa. Don’t go there. Not happening, remember.
But somehow he couldn’t seem to stop. She still clutched her cup in her small hand, and he pried it
free and placed it on the coffee table. He wasn’t going to do anything. Really, he wasn’t. Just maybe
see if her skin was as soft as it looked. He reached out and trailed a finger down the curve of her
cheek. Softer. And warm. He traced over her full lower lip, and her breath feathered his fingertip,
sending shivers down his arm.
He was leaning in, intent on her parted lips, when her cell phone rang. She jumped, and he jerked
back as she cleared her throat and rummaged in her bag. She pulled out the phone, got to her feet, and
talked for a moment, though the words made no sense to him.
He was in big trouble.
He needed to stay far away from Lexi until he had sorted this out. He was obviously not to be
trusted around her. So the answer was distance.
She popped the phone back in her bag and turned to him. “That was Sadie—my secretary.
Apparently, my grandmother and Daniel are on the way. I have to go.”
“We still haven’t worked out what we’re going to do.”
“I’ll call later. If I deal with this, maybe they’ll disappear back to New York.”
“You want me to come with you?” The words were out before he could think better of them. Where
had that idea come from? She was not his responsibility. It was nothing to do with him that the
brightness had faded from her eyes as she spoke on the phone. But he realized he didn’t want her
facing that couple alone. She shouldn’t have to.
She frowned. “Why?”
“Moral support.”
“I don’t need moral support. I’ve managed so far.”
Why was he pushing this? “We can have lunch afterward and discuss our divorce in a nice,
civilized manner.” Except she didn’t make him feel civilized.
She studied him for a moment longer, head cocked to one side. “Civilized?” She gave a quick nod.
“Okay.” And with that she was gone.
Chapter Seven
Half an hour later, Lexi let herself into her office and collapsed onto the chair behind her still very
tidy desk. The orderliness made her twitch, and she pulled some stuff out of the drawer and scattered
it over the surface. From the midst of the rubble, the photo of Josh stared back at her.
He hadn’t had sex in over five years. She still couldn’t get over that little piece of information.
Presumably that was the only reason he’d done it last night. He’d been desperate. Probably under
normal circumstances, he wouldn’t even look at a woman like her.
She wasn’t sure how she felt about that.
He didn’t cheat.
But he didn’t want sex with her. Because he wanted no-strings-sex. And he reckoned she came with
strings.
Ha! How wrong could he be?
Bastard.
In that case, he was going to have to keep it in his pants for the next six months. After they got rid of
her grandmother, she would explain what was at stake. She didn’t know him well, but she knew him
enough—he wasn’t a bad person. She didn’t believe he would jeopardize all she had worked for, just
for a no-strings-shag.
At least, she hoped he wouldn’t.
He’d dropped her off in front of the office and then gone to find somewhere to park—not an easy
thing in this part of the city. In the meantime, she’d make him a sort of mini-presentation to show him
what the organization did. She was proud of what she’d achieved in a few short years.
After she’d married Josh, she’d sort of known what she wanted to do with the money; she just
hadn’t been entirely sure how to go about it. She’d lived a very sheltered life until then. Boarding
school most of the time. Holidays at the family’s estate in Northumberland, usually alone, as her
grandmother preferred the city. So she’d just taken off. Bought a round-the-world ticket and gone
around the world. In the end, she’d been away for two years.
She’d met some interesting people, worked on projects in different countries, on different
continents, in Africa and Asia. Taught English in schools, helped build wells. Finally, she’d come
home with a better understanding of what she needed to move forward, and the contacts to help her
find the people to do it. She’d set up the organization and named it after her father, whose money
made it possible.
The outer door banged, and she glanced up from her laptop. Her heart jumped, skipping a beat,
which was weird and unwelcome. Then she heard her grandmother’s clipped tones through the door,
and her heart sank.
She’d only been five when her mother and father had been killed in a car crash. She could still
vaguely remember them—hazy memories filled with the warmth of their love. Which was just as
well. Without those memories, she might have grown up believing that love was a myth, at least for
her. Or maybe that she was unlovable.
She’d certainly never felt even the slightest smidgen of warmth from her grandmother. But over the
years, she’d come to recognize that her grandmother was not a good woman. She was selfish and
manipulative…and all the family Lexi had.
She let out a sigh as the door opened, and straightened her shoulders as Sadie ushered them in, her
grandmother at the front, Daniel close behind. Usually, they waited for her annual visit to New York
to make their fiscal requests. Money must be short.
Fixing a smile on her face, she waved a hand at the seats in front of her desk, and then she rose to
her feet as they sat down. She wandered over to the window and peered out through the blinds. Her
office was on the first floor of a converted house in what had once been a posh residential area but
had now been taken over by a number of small businesses. The rent was expensive, but the position
was good. There was a crescent of garden below, a lawn with a bench, bordered by a shrubbery. She
caught sight of Josh heading across the road toward her. He’d gotten changed and wore dark pants and
a white button down shirt with the sleeves rolled up.
He looked good, but he’d looked better half naked. It was a real shame to cover up a body like that.
He moved with an easy grace, though as she watched him, she could tell he was favoring his right
leg. Should he have been sparring if he’d recently broken it? He needed someone to look after him.
Clearly, he wasn’t capable of it himself.
Sadly, it wouldn’t be her. Because whatever he believed, she was a no-strings sort of girl. All she
wanted from him was sex. Really. Even if he did make her feel all warm and fuzzy.
Without that phone call, she was convinced Josh would have kissed her. He’d been so close. Even
now, the memory of his touch lingered on her skin. And it was scary how much she’d craved that kiss.
She exhaled long and loud. The interruption was probably for the best. A kiss would only blur the
lines between fantasy and reality even further. She wanted a real husband as little as Josh wanted a
wife.
Especially a husband like Josh.
In her dreams, he’d known his place—in her bed and not in her business. In real life she guessed he
wouldn’t be quite so amenable. She’d had one person controlling her life; she wasn’t about to let
anyone else have a say.
And she had an inkling Josh would have a lot to say. He was clearly bossy as well as gorgeous.
She sighed as he disappeared into the building below her.
“Have you heard a word I’ve said, Alexia?”
She sighed again and turned around. “No.”
Shock flashed across her grandmother’s face. Lexi had always taken great care to treat their
meetings with scrupulous politeness. It was ingrained in her. Her grandmother had always had an
uncanny ability to hit where it hurt, and no scruples about using that talent, so Lexi had learned at an
early age not to antagonize her.
“Things not going well with your…husband?” Daniel asked
Had she heard a slight question when he used that word? Did they suspect all wasn’t rosy between
her and Josh? Sometimes it amazed her that she’d kept the pretense up for so long. Though, it did help
that there was usually an ocean between them.
She wasn’t quite sure what would happen if they discovered the truth. Her father had made vast
amounts of money before he died. His own family had wanted him to follow in his father’s footsteps
and become a lawyer, which hadn’t interested him in the least. So he’d gone into business with Uncle
Jamie, who had provided the start-up money. He’d been a brilliant entrepreneur at a time when
fortunes could be made in the emerging internet markets.
After he’d died, the money had been put into trust for her, with her grandmother in control until Lexi
was twenty-four, or until she married. If they found that her marriage had been a sham, her
grandmother would likely try and get back that control. While Lexi didn’t think she would succeed,
she guessed it would tie the money up, and she had a number of ongoing projects. She needed that
money.
So they couldn’t find out the marriage was a sham.
The door opened and there he was. He stood for a moment, taking in the occupants, one eyebrow
raised.
Earlier, he’d threatened to go talk with her grandmother. He wouldn’t, would he?
She bit her lip and shot him a pleading glance.
He gave a small nod, and a smile curled his sensual lips. “Sweetheart,” he murmured. Then he
strode into the room, straight toward her, wrapped his arms around her, lifted her up on tiptoes, and
lowered his head. Time seemed to slow and her surroundings vanish as his lips parted on hers, and he
kissed her like he would never get enough.
He was such a good actor.
Then his tongue pushed into her mouth, filling her with the taste of spice and coffee and something
unique. She twined her tongue around his to taste him better, her hands coming up to sink into the silky
hair at the back of his skull and hold him closer. She became acutely aware of her breasts pressed
against his rock hard chest, her nipples tightening, and a steady throb starting between her thighs.
Oh my.
She had to resist the urge to rub up against him like a cat in need of stroking, and she had a
flashback to his hands on her body last night, his long, clever fingers inside her.
The kiss slid from her lips, along her cheek, and he nibbled at her ear, his breath feathering against
the sensitive skin. “If you don’t want to seriously embarrass me in front of your visitors, you might
want to stop kissing me now.”
She didn’t want to stop. His hands slid down her back and pulled her tight against his hard body,
and she could feel the growing length of him against her stomach. If that was supposed to persuade
her to back away, it wasn’t working. God, he felt good.
She closed her eyes for a second, gathered her willpower, and stepped away.
Josh gave her a rueful smile and then moved and propped himself on the edge of her desk. Taking a
deep breath, she turned to face the other two people in the room. She couldn’t believe she’d forgotten
they were here.
Daniel had a vaguely lascivious expression on his face, which made her a little queasy. Her
grandmother had a pinched look, which she knew from experience did not bode well.
Wiping her hands down the sides of her jeans, she plastered a smile on her face. “Sorry,” she
murmured, “but…” But what? She gave up and went around her desk, sat down, and rested her hands
in her lap. “You said you needed to talk to me.”
Daniel cleared his throat as though about to speak, but her grandmother got in first. “This is family
business, Alexia,” she said with a pointed glance at Josh.
“You can speak in front of me, Grandma,” Josh said, and Lexi almost choked. “After all, we are
family. How is it Lexi and I can help you?”
He sat on the edge of her desk, one leg swinging, an almost amused expression on his face. She
didn’t think anyone had ever found her grandmother funny before.
She waited for one of them to speak, though she was pretty sure what they were going to say.
“Daniel’s gallery has met with a few issues recently. We need a little cash injection and thought you
would like to help.”
She opened her mouth to ask how much, because, really, what else was there to say, but Josh spoke
first.
“What issues?”
Daniel looked startled at the question. “A couple of deals that didn’t work out. I need a little
outside investment to see me through a difficult patch. I’m sure Lexi can spare the money.”
“What are the usual loan terms? I’m taking it this isn’t the first time you’ve borrowed money from
my wife.”
Her grandmother pursed her lips. “Alexia is family. I’m sure you understand that, Joshua. We don’t
speak of terms with family.”
“I don’t believe Daniel is a relative.”
“He’s her step-grandfather.”
Josh straightened his shoulders. “And I’m her husband. You’ll agree I have slightly more say in the
matter. Up until now, Lexi has been overly generous. But money doesn’t last forever, and we need to
check that the investment is solid. So if you could send us a written report, we’d be happy to consider
it. Now, I’m sorry, but Lexi and I have a luncheon date.”
He stood up, strolled to the door, opened it, and stood waiting.
Lexi watched in silence. Finally, her grandmother rose to her feet, and Daniel followed her out.
Neither looked happy, and Lexi had to bite back a grin. This wouldn’t be the end of the matter. No
doubt she would hear more. But for now, the two of them had been silenced.
For a fake husband, Josh was a true protector. Which was so not helping her control those warm
fuzzy feelings.
As the door closed behind them, she leaned back in her chair and let out a huge sigh.
“Do you usually give them money when they ask?” he asked.
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“It’s complicated. Anyway, I have a lot and they don’t.” Her grandmother had once pointed out that
if Lexi had never been born, then the money would have all been hers. She’d been eight at the time.
She suspected that her grandmother would have been happier if Lexi had died in the car crash with
her parents.
“And they are my only family.” She didn’t know why she was trying to justify herself to Josh. It was
her money. She could do what she liked with it. Hadn’t that been the whole point of marrying him in
the first place? She didn’t need him to come along and tell her what she could and couldn’t do.
He shook his head, his expression still disapproving. “You’re right. It’s your money. Let’s go get
some lunch. I’m hungry.”
“Okay. And thanks for…not giving me away to grandmother. I know she suspects something.” She
got up, grabbed her bag, and then the laptop. She’d give her little presentation over lunch.
…
“So,” he said as they settled into a booth in what Lexi had described as her favorite pizza place.
“Does your grandmother ask for money often?”
“Once a year.” She nibbled on a breadstick. “I visit once a year, and they ask once a year.”
“And you always give it to them.”
She nodded. “It’s easier. And if I do, they leave me alone the rest of the time.” She must have seen
something in his expression. “She is my grandmother.”
Perhaps it wasn’t so bad not having any family. Though that wasn’t quite the truth. He had a mother
somewhere, but unlike Lexi, he’d cut her out of his life. She’d tried to contact him once, but she’d
eventually gone away when he’d made it clear he no longer considered her family. Then there was his
sister—except he no longer had a sister. His mother had seen to that.
Which one of them was right? Him or Lexi?
It occurred to him that both of them were as screwed up in their own way by their families. After
all, it was hardly normal for an eighteen-year-old to enter into a marriage of convenience with a total
stranger, however much money was involved. Besides, he was starting to believe that whatever else
motivated his wife, it wasn’t money. Suddenly he had an inexplicable urge to understand what made
her tick.
“So tell me,” he said. “What’s with all those people at your house? Don’t they drive you crazy?”
“I love it.” At his look of disbelief she continued, “I always wanted a big family.”
“You don’t have any brothers and sisters? What about Harry and Melissa.”
She pulled a face. “Luckily, they didn’t come into my life until I was seventeen. Before that, it was
just me and grandmother, and whichever husband she had at the time. She had a lot of them, and they
all ended badly, so I decided a long time ago that I was never going to get married—not for real
anyway. So this is my way to have a family.”
“You just collect them?”
She grinned. “Sort of. I inherited the house from my maternal grandmother, and Jean already lived
there. She’s an artist and has a studio in the garage. There didn’t seem any point in asking her to move
out. The others sort of…turned up. They’ll move on when they’ve got their lives together a little
more.”
Their food arrived, and they were silent for a little while. Lexi attacked the pizza with enthusiasm,
eating with her hands. She caught him watching her and licked some sauce from her fingers. “What?”
she asked.
“You’re not what I expected.”
She picked up another slice of pizza and looked at him over it. “What did you expect?”
He shrugged. “Some little rich bitch who wanted money so she could party harder.”
“And are you so sure I don’t party?”
She certainly didn’t spend her money on clothes or jewelry. “Why did you marry me?”
She put down the half-eaten slice of pizza and stared off over his left shoulder while she gathered
her thoughts. “To piss my grandmother off.”
Whatever he’d been expecting it wasn’t that. He’d be the first to admit he didn’t know his wife
well, but she didn’t come across in any way malicious.
“I told myself I had all sorts of other reasons,” she continued, “but deep down, at rock bottom, I did
it because it was the one thing I knew would hurt her.” She gave a rueful smile. “She was never
particularly fond of me but she did like my money and while I lived with her she had access to
income from my trust fund. I think she and Daniel had this weird idea that they could persuade me that
marrying Harry was a good idea. They thought they had six years to wear me down.”
The thought of them pressurizing her to marry that prick had his hackles rising. “But something must
have triggered it.”
A flash of real emotion crossed her face. Anger or sadness. Maybe a mix of both. “She killed my
dog.”
“What?”
“She had him put down while I was in my last term at boarding school. Jasper was old—he’d been
a present from my dad, the last thing he gave me before he died—but he was still healthy. I’d argued
with her—she wanted me to move to New York when she married Daniel. I’d told her that I wanted to
stay in England—I’d been offered a place at Oxford.”
“So she had your dog put down?” What a bitch!
“She was making a point. Unfortunately it wasn’t the point she intended. I decided then that she
wasn’t having any more control over me.” She nibbled a piece of pizza. “Then Daniel suggested that
he could prevent her from doing anything like that again if I was a little friendlier with him.”
Shock flashed through him, followed by a wave of anger, and his fists curled on the table. “What?”
She grinned at that. “Yeah. Never going to happen. Anyway, at first I thought I’d let them go off to
New York. I’d take my place at Oxford. I could get a job, leave the whole horrid mess behind and
forget about them. But then I needed some money, and she wouldn’t release it.”
“What for?”
“Well, not partying. I used to volunteer at this rescue center. They had a fire and were going to have
to close down. I wanted to help. My grandmother thought it a bad investment. I talked to Uncle Jamie,
but he didn’t think the trust could be broken.”
She’d finally finished the pizza and sat back with her glass of red wine. She sipped it. “I was so
angry. I’d never felt like that before. Furious. I told Uncle Jamie that I was going to find a man to
marry me. He didn’t believe me at first, but I must have convinced him—or scared him enough to take
me seriously. He said he’d find me someone suitable. Someone who wouldn’t try to cheat me or take
advantage of me.” She cast him a pointed look. “Or try and divorce me before my twenty-fourth
birthday.” She smiled sweetly. “That’s you.”
James Frobisher had been his commanding officer in the SAS. One of the few men Josh truly
admired.
“So, you see,” she continued. “You really do have an obligation. You promised me five years and
five months. You’re a man of honor—Jamie said so. You’re duty-bound to not let me down.” She gave
him a narrow-eyed stare. “Certainly not for something as shallow as no-strings-sex.”
He hated that she had a point, but she did. When he’d decided this, he’d presumed that whatever
reason she’d married him no longer existed. He’d thought he would get no opposition.
But Christ, he wanted that sex.
He had a flashback to the feel of her hot, tight pussy around him, her little moans as she came so
sweetly for him. He shifted in his seat.
“So did you save your dogs’ home?”
She gave him a wide grin. “I did.” After swallowing the last of her wine, she put the glass on the
table, then bent down and rummaged in her bag, pulling out a laptop. “I wanted to show you some of
the work we’ve been doing.”
“We?”
“My team. I set up a registered charity a few years back. We provide funding for all sorts of things,
including a string of no-kill rescue centers around the country. But stuff overseas as well. We build
schools, train teachers, employ vets who work in places where the animals would likely not get any
treatment otherwise. We’ve dug wells, planted trees, trained farmers.” She tapped a few keys on the
laptop, then turned it around and pushed it toward him.
He scanned the information quickly; it was a list of current projects, and he clicked the links on a
couple and read the details—an agricultural training center in Zambia, a cooperative fishing venture
in Malawi… He glanced up and found her watching him eagerly. It was clear she was passionate
about what she did.
“Just how much money do you have, Lexi?”
Her smile widened. “I’m not sure exactly, but lots. Millions. My dad was in right at the beginning
of the internet companies. And he was super clever. When he died, the companies were sold—Jamie
had no interest in running them—and the money put into the trust.”
“Are you likely to run out any time soon?”
“No. I haven’t actually touched the capital, only the interest. Jamie got me a really smart financial
advisor.”
“Good,” he said a little weakly. The sums of money involved must be huge. And the woman who
owned it all was sitting across from him eating pizza, wearing tattered jeans, and sharing a house with
a chicken. His head spun.
“So you see,” she said, gazing at him earnestly, “an annulment really isn’t an option. Or a divorce
just yet. If grandmother found out our marriage wasn’t real, she could make things very difficult.”
“She couldn’t actually get her hands on the money?”
“My lawyer doesn’t think so. But it could tie up the money while it was sorted and that would delay
all the works-in-progress. There are a lot of people relying on me.”
“Not to mention a lot of chickens.” He’d noticed the battery hen rehabilitation project half way
down the list.
“Exactly.”
Bollocks.
Lexi was one of those rare things—a genuinely good person.
Unfortunately, his life right now would be a lot simpler if she were a money-grubbing little rich
bitch.
He sighed. She was right. He couldn’t do it.
Life wasn’t fair.
When he remained silent, she reached across and took his hand. “I won’t hold you any longer than I
have to. As soon as I turn twenty-four, we can start the divorce. It might look a little suspicious, but I
think it will be okay.”
He knew he was going to say yes. He wasn’t a complete bastard, but Christ, he wanted sex again.
Did that make him shallow? Did he care?
He looked down at where their hands were joined, hers much smaller, fine-boned with short nails.
For a second, he contemplated sex with Lexi. She was his wife, after all. But only for a second. She
was a disaster waiting to happen. Chaos incarnate. Look at her house. And while she’d said she’d
never marry, she’d also said she wanted a family. She was everything he was not looking for in a
woman.
He had to keep reminding himself of that.
Think of all those exotic dancers Logan had promised to introduce him to at his club. Women who
wanted a good time. Not ones who wanted to save the world.
Her lower lip was caught between sharp, white teeth while she waited for him to answer. He
obviously took too long. “And really”—she broke the uncomfortable silence—“if you do want to…
you know…with other women, then it’s okay.”
See, that proved how unsuitable she was. She couldn’t even say the word. Christ, until last night
she’d been a goddamned virgin.
“I know you have needs…”
He doubted she realized exactly how big his need was. He held up a hand to stop her—she’d be
setting him up with her best friend next. Why didn’t he like the idea that she’d given him carte blanche
to sleep with other women? He hoped it wasn’t because she was his wife. That would be a bad way
of thinking.
“Okay,” he said.
“Okay?”
“You’ve got your six months.”
“Really?” She gave him a huge smile, and deep inside him, something melted.
“Really. And forget the sex. It’s no big deal.”
Ha. And I’ll probably go to Hell for lying.
Chapter Eight
Lexi gave him a quick sideways glance as they turned into her road. She could read nothing from his
expression.
He’d said yes.
She should be feeling euphoric, but instead she felt a little letdown and anticlimactic. Presumably,
he would now disappear back to his own life and turn up again in six months when it was time to get
a divorce. And that was fine. Except…
Except what, Lexi?
Was she going to turn into some sex-starved woman now that she’d had a little taste? That would be
very inconvenient, not to mention pathetic. She needed to get a grip. He didn’t want her. Last night
he’d been desperate. Any woman would have done. Except he hadn’t had a woman in five years. Just
her.
Shut up!
As he pulled up outside the gates, she frowned. They were open. They never left the gates open
because the dogs could get onto the main road.
“Everything okay?” Josh asked.
She peered down the drive and could see the bumper of a black car. She had a bad feeling about
this. “Shit,” she muttered.
“What is it?” he asked.
She sighed. “At a guess, my new lodger.”
She so did not need this right now. It wasn’t that she didn’t like Harry. The truth was she hardly
knew him. Once she had gotten an inkling of her grandmother’s long-term plans for the two of them,
she’d shut him out. But he was a painful reminder of the family she’d rather forget. Oh well, she could
put him as far away from her as possible and keep busy over the next month, or however long he
planned to stay.
“Harry?” Josh asked.
“Yes. I’d better go deal with him.”
She reached for the door, but Josh stopped her with a hand on her arm. “You don’t have to let him
stay,” he said. “Just tell him to piss off.”
“Maybe I should.” But she probably wouldn’t. “Look, thank you for agreeing. You know, to the
staying married thing. It means a lot.”
She opened the door and climbed out, surprised when Josh switched off the engine and got out as
well. “I’ll come with you. Check everything is okay.”
She frowned. Why wouldn’t everything be okay? But she didn’t argue as he stepped up beside her.
The truth was, she didn’t want him to go. And that was stupid. Now that she had what she wanted
from him, she should leave well alone, not rock the boat. But a shiver of excitement ran through her as
they walked down the drive.
He slid his hand into hers. “In case he’s watching,” he murmured.
It’s all an act.
She had to keep telling herself that, but it was hard as his thumb rubbed over her palm and pleasure
shot along her nerves at the tiny caress.
“Well, he could certainly stay somewhere else—he’s not short of money. That’s a Porsche,” Josh
said as they passed the black sports car.
She cast it a disinterested glance. “It is? I don’t know much about cars.”
“You don’t? What do you drive?”
“I don’t. I never learned. There didn’t seem much point, living in London.” They’d stopped at the
front door, and he was staring at her in disbelief. She shrugged. “Really, I use public transport or take
a taxi. Parking is murder in the city anyway. I do have a bike, though.”
“I can’t believe you can’t drive. I’ll teach you.”
She glanced at him. So he wasn’t planning on vanishing from her life. That really shouldn’t make
her feel all warm and fuzzy. Again. But it did. She didn’t particularly want to learn to drive, and she
suspected deep down that she was afraid. Her mother and father had been killed in a car crash. She’d
been in the vehicle with them at the time, and while she couldn’t remember anything of the accident,
the memory was probably loitering somewhere in her subconscious.
“That would be nice,” she heard herself saying.
“So why do you think he’s here?” Josh asked, nodding at the car.
“I imagine to spy for my grandmother. She suspects something.” She turned and patted his arm.
“Don’t worry. I don’t expect you to get embroiled with my family problems. We’ll think of a really
good reason you have to leave town for a while.”
He opened his mouth as if to answer, then slammed it closed again, a frown drawing his brows
together. Lexi shrugged. As she pushed the door open, a whole load of dogs started barking. They
nudged open the kitchen door and rushed out to greet her. She bent and rubbed a few ears, then headed
for the door they had come through, Josh close behind her, or as close as he could get with her
surrounded by dogs.
Harry sat at the kitchen table. He wore gray pants and a white shirt. His blond hair was perfectly
cut, and she felt the familiar wave of irritation. And for the first time, she recognized where her
animosity had come from. Harry was three years older than her, Melissa a year older. Lexi had been
seventeen when they’d first met, and the two of them had been…perfect. Perfectly dressed, perfectly
groomed. Lexi had been far from perfect and well aware of the fact. They’d made her feel inadequate,
and she’d responded by pushing them away.
However friendly they’d been, she wouldn’t have liked them. And they hadn’t been particularly
friendly. Then again, maybe they’d had their reasons. It occurred to her that perhaps they hadn’t been
over the moon about their father marrying her grandmother. She was a decade older than Daniel and
not exactly a motherly figure.
Harry stood up as they entered the room. She came to a halt by the table, and then she jumped as
Josh’s arms came around her from behind, pulling her back against him.
Aw, he was pretending to be her loving husband. He was sweet. Those now familiar warm, fuzzy
feelings spread through her chest. She didn’t even want to think about what to call those emotions.
She just wanted to enjoy this for a moment.
She relaxed in his arms, pressed her bottom back against him, and felt him go still.
Harry watched them one eyebrow raised. “Valerie said the two of you were like newlyweds.” His
lips quirked. “I don’t think she meant it as a compliment. Your friend Jean let me in by the way. She
said it would be okay to wait for you in here.”
“It’s fine. You want a coffee?”
“Love one.”
She pulled away. Josh’s arms tightened for a moment, then he let her go. After switching the coffee
machine on, she turned around, leaning against the counter to study the two men. Despite both being
blond, they were totally different. Josh had a rough edge, an air of danger. In fact, he was radiating
menace as he faced off against Harry, whose lips were still curled in a slight smile, as though he
found the whole thing amusing.
“I’d actually come to tell you that I wouldn’t be staying,” he said as he resumed his seat at the table.
“I didn’t want to intrude—you know, the whole newlywed thing. But I’ve so far met three people who
also claim to live here. Are you running a hotel?”
“They’re just friends.”
She filled three mugs with coffee and carried them over, placed them on the table with milk and
sugar, then took a seat. “Sit,” she ordered Josh. He was making her nervous by looming over them
like that.
“Anyway,” Harry continued, “I decided, why not stay for a while? Obviously you two lovers aren’t
going to be alone, so one more won’t make a difference.”
“That depends on why you’re here,” Josh said, and he sounded far from friendly.
Harry gave an elegant shrug. “Can’t I want to spend some time with my baby sister?”
She got the distinct impression that he was trying to wind Josh up. Probably not a good idea. “Did
you know Josh used to be in the SAS?” she asked.
A look of mock alarm crossed his face. “Oh my God. He’s a lethal weapon. I’d better be careful.”
She glanced at Josh and saw his lips twitch. “So why are you here?”
“My remit is to spy and report back.”
Well, it was hardly a surprise. Though, what was a surprise was Harry actually admitting it. Her
heart sank a little. She’d been lucky up to now and maybe gotten a little complaisant. She should have
known it couldn’t last.
“Spy on what?” Josh growled.
Harry took a sip of coffee. “Well, the original idea was to get proof that your marriage isn’t real.”
Did her grandmother know? She couldn’t or she wouldn’t have sent Harry.
“Then according to your dear, sweet grandmamma, the two of you couldn’t keep your hands of each
other, and now she’s not so sure. But Valerie is nothing if not tenacious, so here I am.”
“Don’t you have anything better to do?”
“Like a job you mean? Not at the moment. And my father very kindly bought me a car—a sort of
bribe.”
“With Lexi’s money.”
“I hadn’t actually thought of it like that. But probably. Slightly ironic isn’t it?”
It was doing her head in. “Why tell me? Why not just do your spying thing and keep quiet?”
He pursed his lips, thought for a moment, and she saw the first flash of real emotion in his eyes.
“Because I don’t like them.”
“Oh.” Whatever she’d been expecting it wasn’t that.
“He’s my father, but we don’t get to pick our families, and he’s a bastard.”
“But you still accepted the car?” Josh pointed out.
He shrugged. “Well, I am my father’s son. Whether I like it or not. He married Valerie for her
money and then found she didn’t have all that much of her own. It was all yours. They thought you
could be manipulated. It must have pissed them off something rotten when you proved them wrong.”
“Did you know they had plans to marry us off?”
“I wouldn’t have minded. You were cute.”
Josh growled again, and Harry chuckled. “He’s a little protective isn’t he?”
She cast a glance at Josh. He was eyeing Harry like he’d be happy to rip his head from his
shoulders. It was official: he was a great actor. What would it feel like to have someone want to
protect you for real? Most of her life she’d felt alone. And from the age of eighteen, she’d been alone,
looking after herself and anyone else who came her way.
She felt a little wistful at the thought. But only a little. She’d fought hard for her independence.
Josh caught her staring and their gazes locked. Something warm uncoiled inside her. His lips curled
in a slight smile, and then he swiped his tongue over his lower lip, and her breath hitched. She
swayed toward him, as the memory of his tongue on her body did weird things to her insides, stoking
the warmth until it ignited inside her.
Harry cleared his throat. “Did the temperature just go up in here?”
Lexi sat back. She did feel a little warm.
“So am I staying or going?” Harry asked.
He’d all but admitted he was going to report back on them. But if she told him no, then that might
raise their suspicions. She’d have to come up with that out of town job for Josh a little quicker.
“You can stay. We’ve got nothing to hide.”
Harry nodded then turned to Josh. “You okay with that?”
“No, but this is Lexi’s place. If she says it’s okay, you can stay.”
“Good. All settled then. I’ll go pick up my stuff from the hotel and be right back. Hey”—he grinned
—“this is going to be fun.”
…
“Why do I somehow doubt that?” Josh murmured. He got to his feet, crossed to the window, and
watched as Harry climbed into his car and disappeared down the drive. He turned back to where Lexi
still sat at the table.
He’d caught her wistful expression when Harry had made the asinine protective comment.
Just like he’d thought—Lexi wanted someone to look after her. She might not know it or
acknowledge it, but she did. And it wasn’t going to be him. All the same, he didn’t like this. And he
hated the thought of Harry staying in the house with her.
“You should have told him to piss off.”
“Maybe.”
“So why didn’t you?”
“It would have made them suspicious. Besides…”
“Besides what?”
She shrugged and looked a little self-conscious. “I think he’s hurting. It can’t have been easy
growing up with creepy Daniel for a father.”
“Jesus. You want to help him.” He sat back down and ran a hand through his hair, irritation
coursing through him. “You can’t fucking help everyone.”
She turned her chair so she was facing him. “Why not?”
Her question stopped him short, and he searched for an answer. “Not everyone deserves helping.
Besides, he’s a slimy bastard, and I don’t like him.”
She grinned. “Maybe. Anyway, you won’t have to spend time with him. I think I see a phone call
coming up. A really important job you can’t get out of.” She reached across and patted his arm.
“Don’t worry. I can handle Harry alone.”
“No.”
The word was out before he thought better of it, and he wasn’t sure where it came from. Except he
didn’t want her handling Harry. Not alone or any other way.
“No?”
“They’ll definitely think it’s suspicious if I leave now. No way will they believe such a convenient
job.” He was making this up as he went along, his mouth running away with him. And that wasn’t
right. He was a planner; he didn’t do spur of the moment.
“They’ll think it even more suspicious if you don’t have an excuse and you’re not here.”
“Then I’ll have to be here.” There he was again, running off at the mouth.
“You can’t stay here.” She sounded shocked.
“Ha. I don’t see why not. Everyone else does.”
She studied him for a moment, lips pursed, eyes calculating. “We’d have to share a room. Nobody’s
going to believe we’re married otherwise.”
“Not a problem. I think I can keep my hands to myself.” It occurred to him that he might be overly
sure of himself there. But he’d been celibate for five years. He could manage a few more months. For
a good cause. A lot of good causes actually.
Something flashed across her face. Annoyance? “That’s nice to know. And I’ll do my best to
restrain myself.”
“That’s settled then.”
“Thank you. I know you don’t have to do this, and don’t want to do it. But it means a lot. I
appreciate it.” She leaned across and kissed him chastely on the cheek. “We’ll be like brother and
sister.”
He didn’t want to be like brother and sister.
“It will be fun,” she continued.
Why did he doubt that? He could feel the softness of her lips on his cheek. There was still time to
do the sensible thing and go away. Far away. Chances were she would be okay. She’d managed
without him around all this time. He stood up, meaning to say he’d changed his mind. His words
didn’t come out that way. “I’ll go pick up some stuff and get back before Harry.”
“And I’ll arrange a meeting with everyone. Get them straight on the story. Can you be back by six?”
“Yeah.” By “them” he presumed she meant her motley bunch of hangers-on. “Can you trust them?”
She looked surprised at the question. “Of course.”
You’d think, considering her past, she’d have a greater sense of self-preservation. How the hell had
she survived this long all alone in the big bad world? It was amazing no one had taken advantage of
her before now. Well, no one except her family.
He pushed himself to his feet. “I’ll see you later.” He had a bad feeling that he’d somehow backed
himself into a corner and now he was stuck there for the foreseeable future.
With no chance of sex in sight.
At least none that he was allowed to even think about.
When he pulled up in front of the house three hours later, he still hadn’t managed to shake the bad
feeling. In the army, he’d learned to listen to his gut feelings. His gut was telling him to run.
Lexi Slater was trouble.
She might look all cute and soft, and she might act all sweet and good. But for fuck’s sake, no one
was that nice. He also had the strangest feeling that she’d played him again. He remembered the feel
of that chaste little kiss on his cheek.
Brother and sister?
She couldn’t be unaware of what her touch did to him. Could she? Even the slightest, most innocent
of touches.
Since the other night, it was as though his neurons had been rewired. Somehow his wife and sex
were inextricably entangled in his mind. Just the thought of her sent twinges to his dick. And now he’d
agreed to share a room with her. It was unlikely she had two beds, so chances were he’d be sleeping
on the floor for the duration of Harry’s visit. He hoped the bastard didn’t stay long.
He went in without knocking—hey, he lived here now. Voices drifted out from the kitchen, and he
pushed open the door. The room was full, crowded with people, or at least it seemed that way. He
dropped his bag on the floor and looked around. In actual fact there were only four people present—
Lexi, Jean, Sarah, and Tom. The children were nowhere in sight. The chicken was still in its basket,
observing him out of beady eyes, and dogs and cats took up most of the floor space.
What had he let himself in for? Maybe he should suggest they go stay at his lovely, uncluttered loft
apartment instead. He’d put the idea to Lexi if things got too unpleasantly chaotic.
A chair scraped as Lexi got to her feet. She gave him an almost timid smile and then came toward
him. “I’ll show you to my room. We can get rid of the bag in case Harry turns up. We’ll be back in
five,” she said to the others. As they left the room, she turned to him. “I’ve already told them what’s
going on with my family. Now you just all need to get to know each other a little better, so Harry
doesn’t pick up anything odd.”
He wished she’d waited to do the “what’s going on” speech—then he might have more of a clue as
to what was actually going on.
She didn’t speak as she led him up one flight of stairs, then another, and then a narrow staircase.
Where the hell was she taking him? The attic?
Finally, she opened a door that led into a vast room that must have covered most of the house. The
ceiling sloped and the back wall was almost all windows. He dropped his bag and stepped closer. It
looked out over the Heath.
“This is my room,” Lexi said.
“It’s…nice.” He wasn’t sure nice was the right word. Interesting maybe. The space was a curious
mix of modern and old fashioned. A jumble of different styles, every surface smothered in things—
books and clothes and ornaments… He didn’t think he’d ever owned an ornament in his life. The
walls were covered with a mixture of paintings and photographs. Disorganized chaos, like Lexi
herself.
“I had it remodeled from the old attics when I moved in. I love being up here. And the views are
wonderful. I can lie in bed and look out onto the Heath.”
At least it was big enough for them to be apart in, even with the absolutely huge four-poster bed that
stood in the center. Mahogany posts and dark red curtains were tied back to show a crimson cover
and a mound of pillows. She’d be lost in there alone. It was a bed made for at least two.
“Nice bed,” he said.
“It used to be in the master bedroom downstairs. I had to take it to pieces to get it up here, but I
love it.”
She sank onto the mattress and eyed him up. “I’ve cleared out some wardrobe space for you over
there.” She waved a hand toward a vast mahogany cabinet. And the bathroom is through there.”
A door, slightly ajar, stood opposite.
He unpacked his bag quickly and efficiently.
“You’re very organized,” she said as she watched him place his empty bag in the bottom of the
wardrobe. He headed into the bathroom with his toiletries. If the bedroom was disorganized chaos,
this was a nightmare. Every surface was covered with bottles and candles, and baskets of dried stuff.
The air smelled of flowers, almost overpowering.
The room was as big as a normal bedroom, with a walk in shower and a freestanding tub big
enough for two. Not that they’d be sharing, but he had an image of Lexi, a hot bath, and a whole load
of bubbles.
Don’t go there.
The only way this was going to work was if he kept his mind off sex. He was here to do a job.
Think of it as a mission. A mission into enemy territory. Except it was hard to think of Lexi as an
enemy.
Brother and sister then, like she’d suggested. But he didn’t want a sister either.
He searched in vain for a place to put his few things and caught sight of his harassed face in the
mirror and Lexi behind him, leaning against the open door, a rueful expression on her face.
“Sorry about the clutter, but no one else ever comes up here,” she said. “So I don’t really notice
what it’s like.” She stepped up beside him and swept the stuff off one of the shelves, into a basket of
the dried smelly stuff. “There, you have somewhere to put your things now.”
He set them out on the shelf while she watched.
“Gosh, you travel light,” she said.
“You learn to in the army,” he replied.
“I suppose. We’d better get down to the others.”
He turned, found her closer than he’d expected, and took a step back, banging into the washbasin.
Christ, he was skittish. What did he think she was going to do? Jump him?
You wish.
He studied the photographs as they went out; coming to a halt in front of one he hadn’t expected to
see. It was a blow up of one she’d had in her office. Their wedding photograph. He was in uniform,
while she was wearing a dark purple dress. It felt like a lifetime ago. He was pale, lines of pain
bracketing his mouth. He’d only just gotten out of the hospital, and, remembering, he reached up and
rubbed his shoulder.
At that point he’d still had a plan. A purpose. Still believed that he’d get Evie back and they’d be a
family again. That belief hadn’t survived for long.
Lexi looked…young. Her face fuller. She had a bright smile that wasn’t totally reflected in her dark
eyes.
She halted at the door to see what was holding him up, her eyes widening as she took in what he
was looking at. She cleared her throat. “I thought it would look odd if I didn’t have at least one photo
of you on the wall. In case someone came up here.”
But she’d said no one ever came up here.
He followed her back down the staircase, his feelings all over the place. She was doing his head
in. One minute he thought he had a handle on everything. The next he felt as though he was adrift in
that lifeboat once more. He shook his head. She was different than anyone he had dealt with before.
But he could do this. He’d been in the SAS for God’s sake. He was tough, trained to withstand
torture. How hard could a few nights with Lexi be?
“So,” Lexi said to the room. “You’ve all met Josh. As I told you, Josh and I have been married for
five years. We love each other.”
“Obviously,” Tom muttered, and Lexi glared.
Josh sat on one of the chairs around the table, legs stretched out, trying to look relaxed.
“Josh has spent a lot of time out of the country, but he’s here to stay now. If anyone asks, that’s all
you need to say.”
He looked at the faces around the room, they didn’t seem happy but one by one they nodded.
“Good,” Lexi said. “It’s going to be easy as pie.”
Chapter Nine
Lexi was pushing the gate open when a car pulled up behind her and the engine switched off. She
turned, recognized Josh’s car, and her heart rate instantly picked up. What was it with that?
He climbed out, caught sight of her, and cast her a wary glance, like he wasn’t expecting her and it
wasn’t a pleasant surprise.
Hey, I do live here.
She got the distinct impression that if he could have gotten away with it, he’d have climbed right
back in and driven away. But that would have made him a coward, and he was a big, bad war hero.
Running away was clearly not an option.
And what had she done to make him want to run? She’d been perfectly well behaved, hadn’t
touched him—though that would have been a little difficult as she’d hardly seen him—hadn’t
demanded her marital rights.
Ha. She was almost tempted, just to see the expression on his face.
Grrr.
Why had she thought his moving in was a good idea?
She hadn’t slept in two nights. She felt on edge all the time, her nerves jangling. She couldn’t even
use her vibrator while she was sharing a room with Josh, which might have calmed her down. He
slept on the floor. She’d promised to keep her hands off him if he shared her huge bed. And it was a
big bed; there was plenty of room. But he said the floor was good.
He was sooo tough.
That first night, he’d stuck around until Harry showed up, given a stellar performance of solidarity
and marital bliss, and then taken himself off for the evening, saying he had work to do. And that had
pretty much set the pattern for the next two days—creeping in after she’d gone to bed. The first night,
she’d tried to engage him in perfectly innocent conversation. He’d just grunted that he was tired,
rolled over, and gone to sleep.
Now, she forced a smile to her face as he approached, and, not for the first time, wished he wasn’t
quite so—she heaved a huge sigh—panty-melting gorgeous.
Get a grip.
But he was so tall and long and lean and muscly. And it didn’t help that she’d been using him to
masturbate to for the last five years.
He was wearing black jeans and a black T-shirt with Slater Security on the pocket. He wore the
same thing every day—he had a whole pile of them in the drawer. Not that she’d been snooping
through his things. Well, maybe, but only a little bit.
Harry’s car was parked in front of the house, so she kept her smile in place as Josh approached.
Harry could be doing his spy thing, peering from behind the upstairs curtains. For good measure, she
stood up on tiptoe and kissed Josh on the cheek, then stepped back, waggling her eyebrows, in case he
really thought she was pleased to see him and not merely acting.
“Evening, darling,” she murmured. “Did you have a good day at the office?”
His lips twitched, which was nice; he didn’t smile enough. “Very good, thank you. We got a new
account, which is always nice. And you?”
“Excellent. I finally got some school equipment out of customs in Uganda. It might actually get into
the schools now.”
“Good.”
She shut the gate behind them. Josh took her hand and they strolled along the drive, hopefully
looking like a happily married couple.
“Far window, second floor,” Josh muttered in an aside. She glanced up, hopefully casually, and
saw the curtain twitch.
The hallway was empty, but a door slammed somewhere upstairs.
“Come on,” Josh said, and tugged her up the stairs. They met Harry heading down from the second
floor. Josh stepped to the side and pulled her back against him to give Harry room to pass, wrapping
one big arm around her waist so it splayed against her belly, making her sex tingle and her nipples
harden. To make matters worse, his lips nuzzled the really sensitive skin of her neck, obviously to
emphasize the fact that they were in love and couldn’t keep their hands off each other, when in fact
this was the first time he’d been in touching distance in days. His lips were soft, and he traced his
tongue across her skin, something she was sure Harry wasn’t in a position to see. The caress, fake or
not, sent shivers skittering down her nerves and made her squirm against him.
Harry paused, sending them a disgusted look. “Get a room,” he muttered.
“We have one, thank you,” Josh said. “And we’re on our way there right now.”
Harry took another step, and then he stopped. “Hey, sis”—when had he ever called her sis before?
—“I thought we might have dinner tonight. Talk about old times?”
What old times?
Josh beat her to an answer. “Sorry, bro, we’re going out.”
He headed up the stairs, tugging her after him, but as soon as the door to her room slammed behind
them, he dropped her hand like he might catch something.
“We’re going out?” she asked.
He shrugged. “Well, you weren’t going out with him, so I had to say something. But I need to
shower first.”
Did he have to tell her that? As the bathroom door closed behind him, she sank onto the bed. A
minute later, the water started running in the bathroom. Was he in the shower, soaping up that long,
lean body…?
She kicked off her sandals and fell backward so she lay staring up at the canopy. Of its own accord,
her hand drifted across her breasts, and her nipples hardened to little peaks beneath the soft cotton of
her shirt. She rubbed her fingertip over one, and it tightened further, sending a dart of pleasure zinging
down to settle between her thighs. She shifted her hand lower, pressing the heel of her palm against
her sex. It would only take her a minute.
The water shut off, and she snatched her hand away, sat up, and eyed the bathroom door guiltily. It
opened a second later, and out he popped, naked but for an inadequately small white towel around his
hips.
Was he crazy?
Did he not realize the dangers of parading his nearly naked, totally hot body in front of the sex-
crazed woman she was rapidly degenerating into?
Look away, Lexi.
Good advice, but somehow she couldn’t tear her gaze from him. The towel hung low on his hips.
So low she could see that lovely V formed by his muscles of his abdomen, the line of golden hair that
disappeared beneath the towel, the ridged muscles. And if she stared really hard, she could make out
the bulge of his penis.
He wandered around the room, taking no notice as she positively drooled over him, pulling clothes
out of the closet, bending down to get underwear from the drawers, legs parted.
If she hadn’t been completely convinced he wanted nothing to do with her sexually—and she knew
that because he had told her so, in no uncertain terms—she’d think he was purposefully, and with evil
intent, trying to tempt her.
Nah.
He just didn’t realize how hot he was. Or how fragile her hold on her self-control was becoming.
Because if he did, if he could see the X-rated thoughts passing through her mind right now, he’d
probably leap headfirst out the window.
Be afraid. Be very afraid.
He turned to look at her, clothes in his hand. Was he going to drop the towel now, or try and pull up
his boxers—
“Lexi?”
She jumped. “Sorry? What? Did you say something?”
“Are you going to shower?”
Was she? She gave herself a little shake. “No. Later. I just came back to change my shoes.”
It was the monthly pets-in-the-park session, and she always liked to go along. It was a regular event
she had organized with the local vets after seeing something similar on the TV. Once a month, a
number of them would set up in the park about half a mile away and offer their services for free.
Anyone could bring their animals along, and they would be seen and treated. She tended to get very
hands-on, so there was no point in showering first when she was bound to get dirty. But perhaps
staying for Josh’s reverse striptease was not a good idea.
She pushed herself up, gave him a last pathetic look, and headed for the bathroom. “I’ll go…wash
my hands or…” Once inside, she locked the door and banged her head against the mirror.
Get. A. Grip.
When she was sure she’d given him enough time to be decently covered, she went back into the
bedroom. He was dressed. It wasn’t exactly an improvement, but she could breathe easier. She found
a pair of sneakers and slipped them on, then shoved her hands in her pockets. “Well, I have to go out.”
“We’ll go together,” he said
Of course. In case Harry was watching.
As they passed the kitchen, Harry was sitting at the table, talking to Jean as she cooked something
on the stove. He glanced around, caught sight of them, and a disgruntled expression crossed his face.
At least he seemed convinced. So the act was worth it.
She expected Josh to leave once they were outside the gate. Instead, he turned to her. “Where are
you going?”
“There’s this thing I help organize. Some vets work for free. People can come along and get their
pets treated if they can’t afford to go the vet. Mostly homeless people. I like to help out.”
“Because you don’t have enough animals to look after at home.”
“Yes.”
“I’ll come along.”
“Why?” She didn’t think Harry would follow them outside the house.
He just shrugged. “Why not?” They walked side by side but not touching. “So tell me about this
thing.”
“I set it up a few years ago. Some of the homeless people have pets, and honestly, they feed them
before they feed themselves, but there’s no way they can afford the services of a vet.”
“Maybe they shouldn’t have animals then.”
“Maybe. But sometimes these people have nothing and no one else. No home, no family, no friends.
Maybe just a dog who gives them unconditional love. It’s so beautiful seeing the bond between them.”
She shrugged. “Everyone needs someone to love.” She cast him a sideways glance. He didn’t look
convinced. Did Josh have someone he loved? Who loved him unconditionally? She didn’t think so.
Based on his quest for no-strings-attached sex, she guessed he was alone by choice. But she
couldn’t help but notice how lonely he was in his bubble. And she also couldn’t help but wish he had
someone who could make him feel like he was finally home.
“Anyway,” she continued, “I went around all the local veterinary surgeries and badgered them.
Some finally caved in. We started small, but when word got around, more vets joined and more
people turned up. In the summer we work in the park, in the winter we rent a hall. It’s actually a
registered charity now.”
The park was already teeming with people. Some were old friends, and she waved but led Josh
through to where Sean Manning was setting up his station. Sean was on the charity board and had
been in on the project from the start. He’d once told her the project had renewed his faith in what he
was doing, made him remember why he had become a vet in the first place.
Sean was in his thirties, medium height, with warm brown eyes like a spaniel. He’d asked her out
at the beginning, and she’d told him that she wasn’t…free. She liked him, though, a lot, and maybe if
she had been free she might have considered him. But he didn’t make her palms clammy or her heart
race. And she couldn’t begin to imagine him naked.
“Lexi.” His face lit up when he saw her, and Josh stiffened at her side.
“Hi, Sean, this is Josh, my…
She hesitated. What was she supposed to introduce him as? These people didn’t even know she
was married.
“Husband,” Josh supplied for her.
Sean glanced from her to Josh and back again. “You got married without telling anyone?”
“We’ve been married for five years,” Josh said coolly.
“Really?” Poor Sean looked a little confused now. As well he might. They were friends.
“Josh hasn’t been around much,” she said. “He was in the army. Overseas. I couldn’t talk about it.”
“Like on secret missions?” Sean asked.
“Something like that.” It was sort of the truth. He had been in the army at one point.
“But I’m back now,” Josh put in. She glanced at him, and he raised a brow.
“Well, good. I think.” Sean didn’t sound sure. “Let’s get to work, then.”
A queue had formed in front of his station, and Lexi went around the back of the table. “First,
please,” she called out.
A woman with a poodle in her arms came forward. Lexi smiled encouragingly, then turned to Josh
who was standing at her side like some sort of bodyguard, making people nervous, including Sean.
“Why don’t you go have a look around,” she suggested.
He glanced from her to Sean and back again, and for a second she thought he was going to insist on
staying, but he gave a curt nod, shoved his hands in his pockets, and walked away.
“He’s a little intense,” Sean said.
“Hmm,” she replied as she watched his retreating figure. He really had a great ass.
“And, I’m guessing, the jealous type.”
She gave him a swift glance. No way would Josh be jealous. He didn’t see her like that. Maybe he
was merely territorial. Or putting on an act. Which was nice of him.
Once he’d agreed to support her, he’d definitely given his all.
Above and beyond the call of duty.
…
As he walked away, Josh tried to analyze his reluctance to leave her. He hadn’t liked the way that
Sean guy had looked at her. He was guessing Sean wanted to be more than just friends.
Never going to happen.
The thought brought him up short. Because really, once the next six months were over, they’d get a
quiet divorce, and after that, what Lexi got up to, and with who, was none of his business.
The vet would make her a great partner. He could look after Prudence, the chicken, and all Lexi’s
other furry and feathered friends. A match made in heaven. And Josh hated the idea. It made his teeth
hurt. Like he said—never going to happen.
He stopped for a moment and looked around. The park had been divided into areas, where different
vets had set up trestle tables. Some were doing specific things—one vaccinating, another worming,
but there were others more general. He stood and watched as one vet cleaned and bandaged a cut on a
mongrel’s leg, then gave it a shot.
The clientele were, as Lexi had said, mainly homeless people. They were easy to spot. His
company donated to a charity that helped homeless veterans, not necessarily providing them with a
home, but giving them somewhere they could go for help and access to food and doctors. He was
quite aware that people who ended up on the streets usually had far bigger problems than having no
home. That tended to be a symptom rather than the cause of the problem. Most of the veterans he’d
worked with had some level of PTSD and were finding it hard to settle back into life over here,
unable to hold down jobs or interact with family and friends. Those issues had to be addressed first.
He stood and watched as a lady vet filed the overgrown teeth on a black and white rat, which then
promptly vanished inside a man’s jacket pocket, just its twitching nose showing.
The vet glanced across. “Hi. You’re Lexi’s husband. I recognize you from the description.”
“The description?”
“Well, depending on whether it’s male or female, ‘scary badass,’ or ‘simply stunning.’”
His lips twitched. “I’m Josh.”
“Jasmine.”
He helped her for a while, then moved on. News travelled fast, and his fame was spreading before
him. Everyone seemed to know him as Lexi’s husband, and most chatted to him briefly. He could tell
from the way they spoke about her that they all liked Lexi, and felt protective of her. He was issued
more than one warning that he’d better be good to her.
Yet one more reason this had to end after six months. She deserved someone good for her. Someone
great. Someone offering strings. Someone other than him.
Night was falling, the place was almost empty, and the vets were all packing up when a man
approached. Tall, skinny, pale face, and gray hair—he had a black dog on a leash, which pressed
itself against the man’s leg.
He looked around, then his gaze fixed on Josh, and he came over. “You’re Lexi’s husband?”
Hell, he was famous. He nodded.
“Could you hold my dog for a second?” Without waiting for an answer, he shoved the lead into
Josh’s hand and walked quickly away.
What the fuck?
The dog started after the man, whining softly, and Josh crouched down and rubbed his head. He
glanced up, searching for the owner, but he’d disappeared. He found Lexi, though. She looked tired
but happy as she crossed the grass to where he stood with the dog.
“You got a new friend?” Lexi asked.
“Some guy handed him to me and ran away.”
Lexi crouched down, examined the dog. “Oh no.”
“What is it?”
“It’s Toby. His owner has cancer. I’m guessing for him to leave Toby here, he must be bad.” She
stroked the dog’s head, and then took the lead from Josh. “I’ll see if I can get him a place to stay.” The
animal whimpered as she led him away, looking back over his shoulder and down the road toward
where his owner had vanished.
Lexi came to a halt in front of a woman who was maybe in her fifties, with dark hair streaked with
gray, a thin wiry body, and beautiful green eyes. “Can you take him, Martha? He’d better go into
quarantine until we’ve checked him out.”
“Of course. Bobby’s new family picked him up today so there’s a kennel free.” She crouched down
and petted the dog, who looked back at Josh with accusation in his eyes. What was he supposed to
do?
As they left the park, they paused outside the gates. Josh didn’t want to go home yet. There were too
many people at the house, all wanting her time. He liked having her to himself, and he didn’t want to
think about that too closely. For many years, he hadn’t allowed himself to get close to anyone. He
understood why. Despite his lack of education, he wasn’t stupid. He could sense himself drawn to
Lexi, and part of him was scared. But still he couldn’t stay away.
He’d liked the way she looked at him back in the bedroom—like she was starving and he was
something deliciously edible. His dick jerked in his pants. He shouldn’t have thought that. Now he
couldn’t get rid of the image of Lexi on her knees in front of him. Had she ever given a blow job?
Unlikely, if she’d been a virgin. He’d have to tell her what to do, how he liked it…if he could
remember. Maybe they could learn together.
“Let’s go get a coffee,” he said.
“Okay. There’s a place just down the road.”
They settled into a booth by the window and both ordered coffee.
Watching her working with the animals had been a revelation. She was a goddamn millionaire, and
she spent her evenings cleaning up dog puke. He’d seen the compassion she’d shown to all the
animals and their owners. He didn’t want that for himself. He wasn’t an object of pity. What the hell
would he need compassion for?
“You look a little…upset,” she said. “What’s the matter?”
He shook his head. “Nothing.”
She regarded him for what seemed like an age, head cocked to one side. “Will you tell me
something?”
“I might.” Here we go…
“Why did you marry me?”
The question took him by surprise, and he said the first thing he could come up with. “For the
money.”
“To start your business?”
For a minute, he was tempted to agree, let her think that was the case. But something deep inside
him wanted to share the truth with her. He’d never told anyone his plan, not even his commanding
officer, who’d approached him with the offer to marry Lexi.
He added sugar and stirred his coffee. “No, not to start the business.”
“Hey, you don’t have to tell me, if it makes you feel bad. I just wanted to understand.”
She was giving him a way out, and maybe he should take it, but now he found he wanted to tell her.
Wanted her to understand a little of who he was and why he would never be the man she thought he
could be. He sat back and thought about where to start. “I had a sister. She was ten years younger than
me. When I was seventeen, she was taken into care and eventually adopted, and I could do fuck all to
stop it.”
She reached out and rested a hand on his. “I’m sorry, Josh. Were you close?”
“I brought her up from the moment she was born.” He could still remember the feel of her tiny body
in his arms as his mum had shoved the baby at him when she got home from the hospital. “Just stop it
crying,” she’d said. And somehow he had. From then on, he’d done everything for her. “My mum was
a total screw up. Men, alcohol, drugs. Name a vice and she was into it. She wasn’t interested in a
baby, so it sort of fell to me. But from the moment I saw her… Evie was the sweetest, and I didn’t
mind.”
“Evie? That’s the tattoo you have on your arm. Your sister?”
“Who did you think it was—another woman? Evie saved me. At ten, I was doing a great job of
following in my mum’s footsteps. I thought I was a total badass. I’d have probably been in juvie
before I was eleven. Evie straightened me out, made me see there were things worth working for.”
“I bet you were a cute little boy.”
He snorted. “I was a monster. But I changed. She made me take responsibility. I thought she was
someone I could love unconditionally.” And look how well that had fucking turned out.
“What happened?”
“My mum met this guy. Apparently, he didn’t like kids, so she got rid of the problem. Handed her
over to social services. I begged her not to, told her I’d look after Evie. She wouldn’t even know she
was there. She laughed at me. I can still remember Evie’s face when they took her away.”
“I hate your mother.” She sounded so passionate.
“I went to see social services. They told me it was impossible. I was a seventeen-year-old-kid,
with no money, no job, no education—I’d missed a lot of school—and a police record for shoplifting.
It was often the only way I could get the stuff Evie needed. Anyway, Mum had already signed the
papers. Evie was put up for adoption, and that was that.”
He risked a glance at her face, not wanting to see her pity. She blinked away a tear. She was such a
softie.
“And I joined the army. It seemed as good a place as any and my options were limited. But I liked
it. Loved the order, knowing what I was supposed to do and when. I was good, and I made sergeant.”
“And you didn’t see Evie?”
“Social services thought it was best. Give her a clean start. Maybe they were right.” He shrugged.
One minute she’d been his whole life, the next she was gone completely. “Anyway, I took a sniper
bullet in Afghanistan. Just over my heart.” He rubbed at the spot where he could still feel the raised
scar. “I was about to be discharged, and I had no ties—my girlfriend at the time had just dumped me.”
“Why?”
“She wanted more, and I wasn’t ready to give it. She said I was a commitment-phobe, and she was
right. Families fuck you up.”
“Tell me about it,” she said morosely. “So what happened next? How did you end up marrying
me?”
“Jamie Frobisher was my commanding officer. He knew I was at a loose end. He approached me
when I came out of the hospital. Said he had a friend who needed help, and that I could give it. He
named a pretty impressive sum of money. And I had this idea. At seventeen, I’d had nothing. I couldn’t
fight the system. But with that much money, I could get a private investigator to find Evie, and I could
hire a lawyer and try to get custody or at least visiting rights.”
“Did he find her?”
“Yeah.”
“But you didn’t get custody. Oh Josh, I’m sorry.”
He swallowed, the regret still an ache in his chest. “I didn’t try. I saw her and she was so
goddamned beautiful—blond-haired and blue-eyed like me.” And like his mum. “She must have been
thirteen then. I went to the house—it was a great fucking mansion out in Surrey—and watched from a
distance. She had a pony and a real family and she was so fucking happy. What was I supposed to do?
I couldn’t spoil that. I had nothing to offer her.”
He’d stood in the shadow of some trees and watched her for what seemed an age. It was a good
thing no one had noticed him, but he hadn’t been able to drag himself away. Part of him had been
happy for her, but it had been a bittersweet feeling, all mingled with loss and resentment that these
people were everything he was not. It meant finally acknowledging the dream was really over, and
feeling the emotions draining from him as he’d accepted that she was better off without him. She was
so obviously happy, and no way could he jeopardize that. The truth was he’d needed her far more than
she needed him, and he’d be selfish to impose himself on her now. He’d been so goddamned hopeful.
That had been a mistake, and it had nearly broken him.
Never again.
“So I walked away—used the money to start the business, and forgot her.”
“Of course you didn’t forget her. She’s still there in your heart.” She thought for a moment. “That
was five years ago. She must be nearly eighteen now.”
“Next week.”
“Well, there you go. At eighteen, adopted children have the right to know the details of their birth
families. You can contact her. Tell her you’d like to see her.”
“There’s no point.”
“Of course—”
“Change the subject, Lexi.” He’d said good-bye that day. He wasn’t laying himself open to that
again. What could they possibly have in common after all these years? It was better left alone. “Tell
me something about you.”
She clamped her lips closed. He could almost see the mental turmoil; she didn’t want to let it go.
Then she sighed. “Okay—something about me. I’ve spent the last five years fantasizing about you.”
Chapter Ten
Shock punched him in the gut. “What?”
“Don’t panic.” Lexi shrugged. “I had to fantasize about someone. And you were my husband, after
all. And Josh, you’re pretty hot. You were perfect fantasy material.” She grinned and drained the last
of her coffee. “Of course, that was before I got to know you better.” She pushed her empty cup away.
“Now, maybe we’d better head home.”
She thought he was hot?
He glanced out the window. The streetlights had come on, edging out the darkness. But he didn’t
want to go home. He wanted to hear more about her fantasies. He was pretty sure she’d only said that
to take his mind off Evie. And it had worked. What sort of things did she fantasize about?
He sat back, stretching his arms along the back of the bench seat, studying her. Her hair was trying
to escape from the messy ponytail; her face was totally free of makeup, her lips pink and full. What
were the chances she had ever fantasized about blow jobs? “Tell me one of your fantasies first.”
Her eyes widened, a flush staining her cheeks. “No way.”
“Come on, Lexi, I’ve opened up my heart to you. The least you can do is give me a hint of what
we’ve been up to together all these years.”
She opened her mouth, closed it again, sat for a moment. “Honestly, I can’t.”
“Let me help.” He thought how to ease her into this, because he needed to know. “Have we done it
in your four-poster bed?”
She gave a quick nod.
“Did I tie you up?”
Her eyes widened. “Of course not.”
“No ‘of course’ about it. That’s what four-posters are for.”
“Anyway. Why should I be the one tied up? Maybe I should tie you instead.”
His head filled with an image of him spread-eagle on the bed, wrists and ankles tied while Lexi
had her evil way with him. She’d be torturing him, tormenting, teasing with her hands and her mouth.
His cock jerked. He swallowed, cleared his throat. “I can work with that. Where else?”
She colored a little more. “On the beach and in the sea.”
“Sand gets everywhere. Or so I’ve heard.”
“Don’t spoil my fantasies.”
He took a deep breath. They needed to get out of there. He didn’t know where they needed to be,
but not here. Desire had been simmering under the surface since he’d first touched her on the stairs
earlier. He might tell himself it had been merely for show. But he’d always believed in facing up to
the truth.
He was hot and hard for his own wife.
And really, there was nothing to stop them. It wasn’t as though they hadn’t done it before. The
annulment was never going to happen. They could have sex and still get a divorce when the six
months were over, and by then they’d have this inconvenient attraction behind them.
Over the last two days, he’d started looking at other women, trying to imagine them in sexual
situations and totally failing. Sally, his secretary, had asked him what the hell he was staring at, just
that afternoon.
He’d been attempting to imagine her on her knees in front of him, and it had done absolutely nothing
for his traitorous libido. Maybe too close to home? So he’d taken himself for a walk, picked random
females on the street, and tried to imagine going up to them, asking them out for a drink.
And he couldn’t do it. Didn’t want to do it.
Then he’d seen Lexi waiting for him outside her gate, licking her lips and shuffling in those four-
inch heels she usually wore. And he’d gone instantly hard. If she’d kept the fantasy thing to herself, he
might have managed to ignore it, but she hadn’t. This was down to her. Plus she’d been ogling him
when he came out of the shower. She wanted him, maybe almost as much as he wanted her.
So it looked like if he was going to get laid any time soon, it would be with his wife. His dick
jerked again, clearly hot to the idea. But maybe they should set some ground rules.
“I think we should do it,” he said.
“Do what?”
“Have sex. Fulfill a few of your fantasies.”
…
Lexi knew she was staring, but she couldn’t seem to stop. Her brain had ceased to function. She
cleared her throat. “I thought you only wanted no-strings sex?”
“No reason why there should be strings involved.”
“It would be married sex.” Why wasn’t she leaping on him? Why did she have to analyze
everything? Take what you’re offered, goddammit. “You don’t want married sex. Remember?”
“Maybe I want married sex with you.”
That made her feel special, all warm and fuzzy. It was becoming a habit. More likely it was merely
that he wanted to get laid again, and she was his only option right now.
“Why not?” he asked. “We’ve already done it once.”
“Because I’m messy and my life is chaotic and you don’t like mess.”
“Look, I’m not suggesting we make this real or anything. But I want you, and I think you want me.
It’d be a simple exchange between consenting adults who happen to be married.”
She nibbled on her lip. “You want me? Really?”
“Isn’t it obvious?”
No. Nothing was obvious. She was still reeling from his sad story about his sister. She’d wanted to
comfort him, but she didn’t think, from the way he had changed the subject, that he would appreciate
it. So she’d told him the fantasy thing, thinking it would make him laugh, take away the sadness. He
hadn’t laughed.
When she didn’t answer, he took her hand and pulled it under the table, rested it on the bulge in his
jeans.
Oh my God. It’s huge.
As her fingers tightened automatically around him, his lashes fluttered closed and he groaned. When
his eyes opened, they were filled with need.
She squeezed again, and a look almost of pain crossed his face. Was she being too rough?
“All for you, baby. If you want it. We’re together for the next six months. Why not enjoy the time?”
She needed to be out of here. Before he went all sensible on her and changed his mind. “Let’s go.”
She jumped to her feet. Where was the nearest place she could get him alone and cement the deal?
She grabbed his hand as they left the shop. He probably wasn’t into hand-holding except for show, but
he didn’t tug free, and she dragged him purposefully along. This was her neighborhood; they were
heading back past the park, and if she wasn’t mistaken there was a very suitable alley only a minute
away.
She slowed and glanced around. The street was empty, and she tugged him into the alley right-
angled to the road. Then she pushed him up against the wall, stood up on tiptoe, wrapped her arms
around his neck, pulled him down to her, and kissed him.
Because she really could not wait a moment longer.
He went still against her. Had she shocked him? Been too forward? Maybe he liked to make the
moves. He hadn’t in her fantasies; he’d been quite willing to let her take the lead. Perhaps she should
keep reminding herself that they were fantasies, with no basis in reality.
She tried to pull back, but his arms went around her, and at last he returned the kiss. His mouth
opened, his tongue thrusting inside, sliding along hers, filling her with the hot, spicy taste of him. The
kiss deepened, taking on an edge of desperation as his thigh slid between hers, pushing up against her
core, and her sex flooded with heat.
One hand palmed her breast and the nipple hardened and it felt so damn good.
She needed some sort of release, so she rubbed her hips against the hardness of his erection. He
reached behind her, cupped her ass and lifted her, pressing her back against the wall. She wrapped
her legs around his waist so his cock pressed against her sex.
His fingers tightened on her ass, and he moved her against him, rotating her against his hardness so
everything tingled, coalescing in her belly, the pleasure swelling, growing, overwhelming her until it
burst in a shower of lights against her closed lids, spreading out through her body. Her head went
back, and he swallowed her scream with his lips, his tongue pushing inside.
A shout and laughter from behind them brought the kiss to an abrupt halt. He released her lips, but
stood, forehead pressed against hers, his breathing loud in her ears.
“Let’s go home,” she said.
“Good idea.”
It was after midnight when they got back to the house. Josh made a quick detour to his car and
grabbed the box of condoms from the glove compartment. As they walked through the gates, she
hesitated. A light still shone from the kitchen window. Were they waiting up for her, to check if she
got home safely?
Christ, what were they, teenagers?
But at that moment, the light went out. “Hallelujah,” she muttered and almost high-fived. She didn’t
want to see anyone right now. She had an idea she looked like she’d just had an orgasm while shoved
up against a wall in an alley. That might help their story if they encountered Harry, but she found she
didn’t want to act right now.
This thing with Josh was only temporary. And that was good. Because what did they have in
common? Nothing. They’d drive each other crazy in no time. All the same, she didn’t want it rammed
down her throat. Tonight had been magical, and no way was anyone spoiling it for her.
It occurred to her she was living in fantasyland. Again. But surely she was allowed a little time
there.
“Shh,” she whispered as she slid her key into the front door and pushed it open. The house was in
darkness. She headed to the kitchen first, Josh close behind her. She didn’t bother turning on the light;
she knew where everything was, where everyone slept.
Unfortunately, Josh didn’t. He swore as he tripped over the sleeping form of Jace, her three-legged
terrier. The dog yipped and scurried under the table, and Lexi reached across and switched on the
light. She went to the refrigerator and got a couple of plastic bottles of water. This was going to be
thirsty work. As she was closing the door, Josh’s arms went around her, pulling her back against him.
His palms slid up her waist to cup her breasts, and one of the bottles slid from her hand, crashing to
the floor.
She ignored it because Josh’s fingers had found her nipples through the thin material of her T-shirt,
and he was rubbing them, tugging them, rolling them between his finger and thumb, and it felt so good.
One hand pushed beneath her shirt, splayed across her belly then hooked around her waist to turn her
in his arms. In one really impressive move—especially considering he’d had no practice over the last
five years—he lifted her up and placed her on the big wooden table.
The second bottle of water dropped from her hand and bounced on the floor as he moved between
the V of her thighs. One hand curled around her neck as he lowered his head and kissed her. She lost
herself in the feel and taste of him, moaning low in her throat.
“Really? On the table, Lexi? And in front of Prudence.”
She went still as she heard Jean’s voice from the doorway. Josh withdrew his tongue, raised his
head, and stared down at her. “Ever fancied loft living? I have this lovely, empty loft. Nobody. No
dogs. No chickens…”
She gave him a rueful smile. “Doesn’t sound like my sort of place.”
He sighed and scrubbed a hand through his hair, but stepped back. “No, it doesn’t. Our room. Will
we get a bit of privacy there?”
She liked the way he said our room. “Of course.”
She jumped off the table and picked up the bottles of water from the floor. Prudence eyed her
disapprovingly from her basket. Lexi ignored the chicken, but gave Jean a narrow-eyed glare as she
slipped past her.
Jean grinned. “You forgot your condoms. You might need them. Well, maybe not all of them.”
“Shut up,” Lexi growled, heat washing over her as Josh grabbed the box from the table.
They made it up to the second floor and were pausing for a kiss on the landing when a door
opposite opened. Tom stood there, an expression of distinct disapproval on his face. He slammed the
door.
“Christ,” Josh muttered. He took her hand and hustled her up the final flight of stairs and into her
bedroom. He closed the door behind them, then studied it with a frown on his face. “No lock?”
She shook her head.
He looked around, crossed the room and dragged a chair back to the door, then pushed it under the
door handle. “It won’t take a full frontal attack, but it might keep us safe for a while.” He tossed the
box of condoms on the bed and then looked at her. “Now strip. Who knows how long we’ve got.”
He was already pulling his T-shirt over his head, and she stood taking in the beauty of his naked
chest. He tossed the shirt on the floor, noticed she hadn’t moved, and raised an eyebrow. “Well?”
She kicked off her sneakers, pulled off her T-shirt, unzipped her jeans and dragged them down over
her legs, kicked them off as well, and was in her underwear within thirty seconds. She didn’t quite
have the nerve to go any further. She’d never been naked in front of a man. Actually, not in front of
anyone. At least, not since communal showers at boarding school.
She glanced up, suddenly shy. He’d stopped moving and was staring at her, his eyes dark.
“You’re beautiful.” His voice was low, husky.
She opened her mouth to say, “No, I’m not,” but the words stuck in her throat. Maybe she was.
Right now, he made her feel beautiful. Anyway, his hand was moving to his waist and rational
thoughts abandoned her. He flicked open the button on his jeans, and her mouth went dry. He lowered
the zipper, and her breath caught in her throat.
She had the distinct impression that he was doing a striptease for her and was entirely aware of the
effect he was having. He hooked his fingers in the top of his pants and dragged them down over his
hips, kicking off his boots as he went.
His shaft sprang free, and it was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. Her dry mouth flooded
with saliva, and she swallowed. She stepped forward without thinking, her hand reaching out, and she
trailed a fingertip down from the middle of his broad chest, over the satin skin, following the trail of
silky hair from his navel until she finally reached her destination and wrapped her fist around his
cock.
A low groan escaped him, and she squeezed.
He placed his hand on top of hers. “Later,” he said. “Later you can play as much as you want. Right
now, I need to get inside you, fast.”
She liked that, loved it in fact, and she allowed him to pry her fingers free, because the same sense
of urgency was racing through her.
“Turn around.”
He was ever so bossy, and she nearly balked at the order, then caught a glimpse of the hunger in his
eyes and decided this once she might take his lead.
He was so big, and hard, and fierce, nothing soft about him at all, and a shiver of something close
to primordial fear ran through her as she turned around.
He flipped open the catch on her bra and slid the straps down. Then his big hands were on her
breasts, touching her skin, his rough palms abrading her sensitive nipples. He stepped up closer
behind her so she could feel the heat of him, his shaft scalding hot against her skin. One hand cupped
her breast; the other slid down over her stomach and slipped beneath the lace of her panties.
A pulse throbbed between her thighs, and she shifted impatiently, waiting for him to touch her
where she needed him most. She was so sensitive, so swollen, all she’d require was one touch and
she’d come. She pushed her hips against his hand, but perversely he withdrew. Hooking his fingers in
the lace at her hips he pushed her panties down, lowering himself to kneel behind her. She stepped out
of them as his lips caressed the skin of her ass, and the breath left her in a whoosh.
Oh God, he’s kissing my bottom.
Had he ever done that in her fantasies?
No way. She’d have remembered. His lips were hard, his tongue soft and wet as he traced patterns
on her skin. He bit down and she let out a squeak, then wished she’d stayed silent as he rose to his
feet. She wanted him back.
He turned her gently, pushed her the last few inches to the bed, and she toppled backward onto the
mattress. He came down after her fast, kissing her hard, and his hands were everywhere—on her
breasts, her belly, between her thighs. A knee shoved between her legs, and he shifted to kneel
between them.
She was vaguely aware of him grabbing a condom, the sound of the foil tearing, the long seconds as
he rolled it on. Then he was back. The tip of his cock nudged at her, seeking entrance. He positioned
himself with one hand, balancing on the other as he stared down into her face.
“Ready?”
Was she? There was something so carnal in his expression. The softer emotions had been banished,
his face was a mask of need, and a thrill ran through her.
She nodded.
He shoved into her hard, filling her, stretching her so she tingled everywhere, her muscles gripping
onto him as though to keep him inside her. He pulled out, the drag against her exquisite, then in again,
sliding easier this time as her tense muscles relaxed.
As he pumped into her hard and fast, everything faded from her consciousness except the feel of his
big body on her, inside her, so different than how she had imagined. So much more. Filling her mind
as well as her body.
He reached between them, and his fingers found her clit, and everything tightened until she was a
quivering mass of need. He pinched her and she exploded around him, and still he was moving,
driving her higher and higher. The pleasure would pause, then he’d touch her again, and she’d
explode.
He held her still with his hands on her shoulders as she writhed beneath him, then he came, his head
going back, and a groan escaped him. Finally, he pulled free of her with a shudder, dropped down
beside her, dragging her with him, so she lay with her back against his chest.
For a minute she felt bereft, and then he nuzzled the spot where her shoulder met her neck, and
stroked soft circles on the skin of her back. Her heartbeat slowed and she slept.
Chapter Eleven
Josh had never spent the whole night in bed with a woman.
It had been one of the unwritten rules in his how-not-to-get-too-close code of conduct and one of
the things his last girlfriend—who’d dumped him shortly before he’d married Lexi—had complained
about the most.
But he’d fallen straight asleep, drugged by the soft sound of Lexi’s breathing and the rhythm of her
heart beneath his palm. Anyway, his situation was somewhat changed. After all, what was he
supposed to do—get out of this lovely bed with a beautiful warm woman in it and go lie on the floor,
just to prove a point?
Maybe he was getting soft.
But he had no reason to panic. Lexi had made it clear she wasn’t looking for a real husband, and
when their six months were up, they would say good-bye amicably and go their separate ways. And
even if she was looking, it wouldn’t be for someone like him. Someone incapable of giving her what
she needed. Who couldn’t even give affection to a goddamned dog without getting twitchy.
No, she’d go for someone nice. Someone like that vet from last night. No one had ever accused
Josh of being nice.
Except Evie.
He pushed the thought aside, because thinking about Evie was guaranteed to ruin his mood.
So a first for him. Waking up with a woman.
Except he was alone.
He sat upright and glanced around. From the pale light filtering through the curtains, it was still
early.
Where the hell was she?
The pillow beside him was dented, but she was nowhere in sight. The bathroom door was closed,
but he didn’t think she was in there. He was developing a Lexi-sense and knew when she was nearby.
Besides, the chair he’d pushed under the door handle had been moved.
His body felt good and ready for more. He hoped wherever she was, she would get back here fast.
She’d fantasized about him. For five years. She had his picture on her bedroom wall. Some small
part of him was niggling, saying that perhaps he should be worried about that. That whatever she said
to the contrary, she would try and hold him. But he shut the little voice down. They’d both been clear
and upfront about what they wanted. There was no need to go all worried that she was going to want
more than he was willing to give.
So they had five years’ worth of Lexi’s fantasies to get through in six months.
His stomach rumbled. He needed food if he was going to have the stamina to cope with a challenge
like that. And maybe a shower and a shave so he’d be ready for anything.
Where was she?
He hoped she hadn’t left for the day. He got out of bed and padded naked to the door, opened it, and
peered out. Nothing. The house was silent.
He went back to the bathroom, showered, shaved, wrapped a towel around himself and went back
to the bedroom just as Lexi came through the door, a tray in her hands. He crossed to her, and took it
from her.
“I thought you might be hungry,” she said not quite looking at him.
Was she shy after what they’d done?
After putting the tray on the bedside table, he went back to her and kissed her long and hard until
she went soft against him. “Starving.” He released her and sat on the edge of the bed. She looked cute
and sexy, her hair a mass of curls around her face, her mouth swollen from his kisses. She’d pulled on
matching shorts and a camisole in pink with little gray hearts. The top hugged her full breasts, her
nipples clearly visible, and his dick came to instant life under the towel.
Presumably this was what she normally slept in, but it wasn’t enough to go roaming around in a
house full of men. He hated the thought of Harry seeing her like this. Or Tom. Or even the goddamn
dogs.
He’d never been possessive. Another of his codes of conduct.
“Should you be wandering around like that?” The question just slipped out.
She cast him a surprised look. “Why?”
“Because I can see your nipples.”
She peered down. “Oh,” she said then gave a shrug. “No one was up yet.” She poured coffee and
handed him a cup. “Eat.”
He helped himself to a plate of rolls and cheese, ham, and smoked salmon.
“I just got whatever was in the fridge.” She perched on the chair next to the bed and nibbled a roll.
He was quiet for a minute while he ate and tried not to think about the possessive thing. He
devoured three rolls, drank two cups of coffee and finally relaxed back, replete. At least his stomach
was replete; the rest of him was definitely feeling needy.
“What are you doing today?” she asked. “Do you need to go in to work?”
He did actually. There were things he should do. But he didn’t want to go to work. He wanted to
stay right here. “Let’s not go in to work today.”
She peeked up at him. “What should we do instead?”
“Stay in bed.”
“All day?”
“Yeah. Stock up on provisions. Barricade the door and maybe work through some of those fantasies
of yours. You want to describe a few?”
Color flushed across her cheekbones, and she blinked a couple of times then shook her head.
“You should make a list,” he murmured. “Write them down.”
Her eyes widened. “I don’t think so.”
“Baby, if you can’t say them, and you can’t write them, how am I going to know what to do?” He
grinned. “And how are you going to actually do them.”
“I’m hoping I’ll be swept along in the moment.”
“Give me a little hint then.” She didn’t answer, just continued to study her toes. “How about, I talk
and you somehow indicate what you like the sound of?”
She nodded.
“Obviously missionary is okay. And if I remember rightly, from behind is your favorite.”
She nodded again.
“Anal?”
“Ugh, no.”
“Standing up? You on top? In the shower.”
She nodded again, but seemed to have gone mute. Just talking about it had made his dick rock hard.
Hopefully it was affecting her the same way. From the flush on her cheeks and the pulse beating at her
throat, he was pretty sure it was.
She cleared her throat. “We mainly did it different places. The beach, my office, the Heath, in the
changing rooms at Harrods…”
He shook his head at that one. “Sorry, babe. For another day. Today, I don’t plan on leaving this
room. And probably not that bed. Did we ever spend a whole day in bed in your fantasies? Have sex
until we’re both too sore and too tired to move?”
“No.”
“You want to?”
She nodded. “I do have to go out for a couple of hours tonight. It’s my night to volunteer down at the
rescue center.”
He rubbed his chin with one finger. “You’re a millionaire. You could pay someone.”
“I like doing it.”
“Okay, I’ll come and help you do the chores. That way we can get back here quicker. Now, how
should we begin? What shall we do first?”
She licked her lips and heat shot to his groin as an image flashed in his mind, a vision of those soft
pink lips wrapped around his dick, and he almost groaned. Would she? If he asked nicely? He didn’t
think she had the experience to take the initiative, so it was probably the only way it was going to
happen.
Christ, did he want it to happen.
“Can I ask you something?” he said.
“Of course. Anything.”
If you didn’t ask, you didn’t get, and his dick ached just thinking about it. “You ever fantasize about
giving blow jobs?”
Her gaze darted to his groin, where it was obvious that he wasn’t disinterested in her answer. She
gave a jerky nod.
He blew out his breath. Thank Christ.
She licked her lips again. Was she doing that on purpose? Did he care?
He put his plate on the tray and pushed himself to his feet, crossed the room, and shoved the chair
under the door handle once more. He wanted no fear of interruption to spoil this.
When he turned back, her eyes were huge and fixed on him, filled with need and wanting, and his
rock hard cock somehow managed to get even harder.
He held her gaze as he pulled at the knot at his hip and tugged the towel free. Then he tossed it to
the floor and glanced around the room. There was a fluffy fake fur rug in front of the fireplace, and he
strolled over there, feeling her eyes on him all the way. When he came to a halt, she glanced from his
face to the rug, then pushed slowly to her feet and came toward him. A foot away, she sank down to
her knees and he nearly came. Sadly, this was not going to last long.
“You might have to tell me what to do,” she murmured, peering up at him through her lashes. He
was pretty certain at that point that she had to know what she was doing to him. His cock had taken on
a mind of its own and was yearning toward her.
“Take your top off.”
Christ, he wanted to see her tits. They were perfect. She reached down, pulled it over her head and
tossed it to the floor. Yes, totally perfect and full, the nipples swollen and dark pink.
Later. He’d focus on those later.
Right now, he needed her mouth on him. And from the look in her eyes, she needed it, too.
“What next?”
“Anything. Do whatever you feel is right. I’ll let you know if it hurts.” When she sat there, head
cocked to one side, considering his penis, he groaned. “Please.” He wasn’t above begging.
She shuffled forward a little. In this position, her face was level with his cock, and her soft breath
feathered against his sensitive skin. Then she put out her small pink tongue and slowly licked from his
balls to the tip.
Oh, God.
She did it again, and he couldn’t take his eyes from the sight of her tongue on his now glistening
shaft. But he needed more—this was only increasing the torture. Finally, she took the head in her
mouth and sucked. Sensation ripped down his cock, to his balls, up his spine. His hips bucked against
her mouth, and she backed away.
“Sorry,” he muttered, but she gave him a sweet smile. “Wrap your hand around him.”
“Him?”
“My cock.”
“Your cock is a him?”
“Of course.”
“Does he have a name?”
“You’re a tease. Wrap your hand around the base and then he won’t choke you.”
“Oh.”
She did as he asked, her small hand gripping the base of his cock, and he let himself relax a little.
She gave him a quick grin, and then her mouth engulfed him, warm and wet, and he closed his eyes
and gave himself over to the pleasure. The world shrank to nothing but the tug of her mouth, the
squeeze of her hand. He couldn’t remember ever feeling this needy.
Focus.
Her tongue swiped over him, and his balls tightened. He was so close, and he tried to pull away,
but she held him, her fingers tightening their grip as she sucked harder, concentrating on the sensitive
tip. His eyes opened to find her gaze focused on him as though he was her whole world, and
something twisted deep inside him. His hand came up to fist in her hair, pull her closer, hold her to
him as his hips jerked.
She loosened her grip, her fingers stroking his balls then squeezing gently, and it was enough to
send him over the edge and he came in her mouth, pleasure shooting through him, his head going back
as she continued to suck, and his orgasm went on and on. Finally, he was spent, and he tugged on her
silky hair until she released him and looked up.
“Thank you,” he said. “That was…perfect.”
She sat back on her heels, wiped her mouth, and licked her lips. “Really?”
“Really. Now it’s your turn. You’ll have to tell me what turns you on.”
“You turn me on,” she said. “Just you.”
That thing twisted in his gut again, something scary that he didn’t want to investigate too closely. He
was doing a lot of that lately—ignoring his gut feelings. Gut feelings he’d relied on in the past to keep
him alive.
She got to her feet and went and curled up on the bed facing him. He followed, sat with his back to
the wall, and she came closer so she could rest her head on his thigh.
“Did you know a pig’s orgasm lasts thirty minutes?”
“Really? Then I’m glad I’m not a pig. Not sure I could take thirty minutes of that without
disintegrating.”
“It was okay, then?”
He stroked her hair. “It was perfection. Give me five minutes to recover, and I’ll return the favor.”
“Good. Because I fantasized about that as well.”
“I hope I live up to your imagination.”
She turned slightly and kissed his thigh. “You’re better than I could have ever imagined. My fantasy
husband.”
And there was that niggle of unease again. And once again he ignored it.
…
Lexi was raiding the fridge. It was two in the afternoon, and she was a fair way to sore and exhausted.
Josh had returned the favor, and not even in her imagination had she dreamed she could come so hard.
And for so long. Then he’d flipped her over and taken her from behind.
She sighed. He was addictive. Which was a problem, because he was also bossy, and a loner, and
a total commitment-phobe. She had to keep reminding herself that this was temporary.
Don’t get attached.
It’s what she had to keep telling herself when she worked with the animals at the rescue center. She
couldn’t keep them all. And she couldn’t keep Josh.
“You okay?” She jumped as Jean spoke from behind her. “I thought you were at work.”
“No, I’m playing hooky today.”
“With Josh?”
She nodded.
“I’m glad it’s working out. You spend too much time looking after everyone else. You need
someone to look after you for a change.”
She opened her mouth to say that she didn’t think Josh was the looking after type—in fact, she knew
he wasn’t because he’d told her so—but the sound of tires on the gravel outside distracted her. She
glanced out the window to see a black car pulling up. “Oh God, it’s my grandmother.” If anything
could break her mood it was a visit from the family from Hell. “Please, Jean, tell her I’m out. Tell her
I’ve left the country. Anything.”
Jean patted her arm. “Okay, sweetheart. I’ll take care of it. You get back to your man.”
She grabbed the food and hurried out and up the stairs. She slammed the door to the bedroom,
dropped the food on the bed and hurried to the window, peering out. Her grandmother climbed out of
the car, Daniel out of the driver’s seat, and together they walked the few feet to the front door. She
couldn’t see them from here, but held her breath. A minute later they headed back to the car, climbed
in and drove off, and she gave a sigh of relief.
“Everything okay?”
She turned. Josh was naked and obviously unashamed. For once he wasn’t hard, though she did
detect a little twitch as she stared.
Telekinesis?
“Fine,” she said. “Just my grandmother coming to visit. Don’t worry. Jean sent her away.” She sank
onto the bed beside him. “I brought some ice cream.”
“Did you? You ever have a fantasy involving ice cream?”
“I might have done.”
“You want to share?”
She grinned and reached for the tub. “How about I show you this one.”
That evening, Josh was like a tornado rushing around the rescue center. Maybe he was in a hurry to
get back.
“Come and see Toby,” Lexi said.
She opened the door of Toby’s run, and the dog approached her slowly, head down, tail drooping.
He wasn’t doing well in the center. She thought about taking him home, but he was still in quarantine
so she had a few more days to decide. She glanced at Josh. When the dog saw him, his tail started
wagging, and his eyes perked up. “He likes you,” she said.
“Did you find his owner?”
“Yes. He’s been admitted to a hospice. They don’t think he’s going to last long. We’ll take Toby to
see him tomorrow.”
Josh crouched down beside the dog, rubbed his head. “Poor fella. Lost the one person in your life.
Welcome to the real world.”
“That’s a cynical attitude.”
“Realistic. What will happen to him? Will he be put down?”
“No. We don’t put any animals down here, unless they’re suffering and there’s no hope. We’ll try
and find him a home, but it’s hard with older dogs. And he’s black.”
“Is that a problem?”
“I don’t know why, but they seem harder to re-home.” She looked to where he was crouching, the
dog’s head resting on his thigh as Toby gazed up at him.
“You could take him,” she said.
Josh glanced at her, a frown drawing his brows together. “I don’t want a dog.”
“Why?”
“I don’t want the responsibility, and my loft is hardly suitable.”
“Toby wouldn’t mind.”
He gently moved the dog’s head and straightened. “I would.” He shoved his hands in his pockets.
“Don’t start thinking of me as some sort of do-gooder. That’s not who I am. Or who I want to be.” He
turned and walked out of the run, waiting for her while she gave Toby a last pat and followed him out.
“I’m not your fantasy husband, Lexi.”
She didn’t answer, couldn’t think of what to say.
“The sex is great,” he said. “But I’m not looking for more than that.”
“Neither am I.”
He raised an eyebrow. He clearly didn’t believe her. He obviously needed something more. “Look,
I admit it. I’ve spent an awful lot of time thinking about having sex with you. But it never went further
than that. I never swore eternal love or anything. And it’s clear we have absolutely nothing in
common. The sex is fantastic, out of this world, but I don’t expect anything else, and I don’t want
anything else.”
“Good.”
He didn’t sound as though it was good, though. He sounded…confused, his expression troubled.
“Come on,” she said, “let’s go—” She almost said “home,” but cut off at the last second. “Back to
my place, and I can take advantage of you.” She grinned, and then waggled her eyebrows for effect.
“How does it feel to be a sex object?”
Some of the tension went out of him. “After five years? Fan-fucking-tastic.”
Chapter Twelve
Josh woke slowly to a sense of well-being. This was the sixth morning he’d awoken in Lexi’s bed; it
was starting to feel familiar and right. A little twinge of foreboding wormed its way into his mind. He
ignored it, which was easy with Lexi curled up against him, all warm and soft. Her back was pressed
to his front, his arm around her, one hand cupping her breast, his thigh thrown over hers.
He was already hard, and he eased back, reached behind him for a condom, rolled it on, and lifted
her leg. Pausing, he nipped her neck with his teeth to wake her up—she wouldn’t want to miss this.
She half-woke at that moment, and he squeezed her breast and then pushed inside her from behind.
She was tight and wet and he filled her easily.
For a few seconds, he held himself deep inside her, savoring the feeling of rightness, and then he
slowly withdrew. He slid his hand down over her stomach, through the soft curls that guarded her sex,
and between her thighs to find the swollen nub.
She groaned as he stroked his finger lightly over her, then harder, keeping to the rhythm of his cock
sliding in and out, slowly, no pressure, just the wonderful feel of her wrapped around him, the
pleasure building, coalescing inside him. A shiver ran through her, her hips tensing, and then she came
so sweetly for him, a sigh easing from her lips.
He released his control but kept his movements slow, letting the pleasure roll over him and drag
him under.
Afterward he pulled her to him, curling her against him. They lay there for several minutes, until
her breathing turned soft and slow.
“I love you,” she murmured.
He went still at the words, waiting for more, but she was already asleep. For a moment, something
warm and tender twisted inside him. He shut the feeling down.
She’d been half asleep, not aware of what she was saying. Probably dreaming about some other,
more suitable man. She didn’t love him. She didn’t even know him. Except he’d opened up to her
more than he had to anyone else in his whole life. And his gut tightened at the thought.
This whole thing was fake. He couldn’t forget that. And in his saner moments—like when he
dragged himself away from her so he could think with his head rather than with his cock—he knew he
didn’t want more. He wasn’t capable of offering her more—he was damaged goods. The strange thing
was, she knew that. He was pretty sure that’s where the attraction lay for her—she thought she was
saving him.
Eventually, she’d realize there was nothing worth saving.
And where would he be then?
Exactly where he wanted to be, if he could only maintain his emotional distance. Forget all the
“love” crap and in a few months he could walk away and get on with his life. Alone.
He shifted in the bed, unable to settle. He eased away from her, slid out from under the sheet,
pulled on his jeans, grabbed a T-shirt, and left the room, closing the door quietly behind him. It was
already 8:30, but they’d been awake half the night fulfilling fantasies. He’d added a few of his own to
the mix.
He’d been neglecting work and needed to get into the office sometime today. Or maybe he needed
to get away for a while. Get his head straight.
The kitchen was empty. Even Prudence was absent from her basket. He put on the coffee machine
and sank into a seat at the kitchen table, wishing he had a cigarette. He hadn’t had one since he was
ten years old and his mother had brought Evie back from the hospital. He’d made his mother give up
smoking in the house as well, and she’d actually done the right thing for once.
I love you.
He shook his head, trying to dislodge the memory of those traitorous words.
Lexi didn’t love him.
He wasn’t the sort of guy that women fell in love with. Hell, even his mother hadn’t loved him.
Sometimes he’d been sure she hated him, had given Evie away because she knew it was the one thing
that would hurt him the most.
Evie was the only person who had ever loved him, and she had no doubt forgotten him quickly.
Children were like that. They gave their affection easily and forgot as fast. So Evie didn’t count.
Trouble was, Lexi was the sort of girl who couldn’t have sex without an emotional attachment.
He’d known that from the start, which was why he’d fought this, tried to keep his distance.
Obviously not hard enough.
He scrubbed a hand over his hair, his fingers trembling. What the hell was he supposed to do? He
couldn’t walk away and leave her in the lurch. And he didn’t think he could stick around and not have
sex with her. Hell, he wanted her even now.
She’d been half asleep; she likely wouldn’t even remember what she’d said and would be horrified
if he mentioned it. Maybe he should just pretend it never happened. But he could hear the soft words
whispering in his ear.
Christ, just shut the fuck up.
If he stuck around, she would no doubt see him for what he was, a dead-end loser from a council
estate in London, no education, no family…
God, he was a miserable bastard.
As he got up to pour a coffee, a car drew up outside the house, and he peered out the window.
Lexi’s grandmother climbed out, and he swore under his breath. The doorbell rang a minute later.
When no one else answered it, he went out himself, fixed a smile on his face, and opened the front
door.
She eyed him up and down, lingering on his bare feet—no doubt he’d made some social gaffe by
opening the door not fully dressed.
Like I give a shit.
“What?” he asked. He knew he sounded unfriendly, but he hated this woman for what she had done
to Lexi.
“I’ve been trying to see Alexia, but she appears to be avoiding me.”
“We’ve been…busy.”
“I’m sure. Is she here?”
For a second he thought about denying it, but Lexi couldn’t avoid her forever. “Come in. I’ll go tell
her you’re here.”
She followed him inside, and he led her into the kitchen to wait. “Help yourself to coffee,” he said
“Perhaps we could have a word before you go.”
He didn’t want to. Really, he didn’t. He knew with a certainty that he wouldn’t be interested in
anything she had to say. All the same he heaved a huge breath and turned around. “Go on.”
“I’d like to understand what my granddaughter sees in you, Joshua.”
“Please, call me Mr. Slater.”
She gave a tight smile. “You’re good looking enough, if you like your men a little rough.”
“Thanks.”
“But what have you possibly got in common with Alexia? I’ve looked into your background. You’re
a nothing. A nobody. So I don’t know why Lexi is with you. Sex, I’m guessing. You’re her piece of
rough.”
Bitch.
“Or she feels sorry for you.”
Even bigger bitch.
The words took him back to that long ago meeting with the social services when he’d almost
begged them to let Evie stay with him. They’d been kind, sort of, as much as they could be in those
circumstances. They’d pointed out that he had absolutely nothing to offer Evie. That there were
complete strangers out there who could give her far more than a penniless seventeen year old, with no
education and no job, ever could.
“Of course, there’s also the possibility that she married you to gain access to her trust fund.”
He was no longer seventeen, and he was far from penniless, and he wouldn’t be pushed around by
someone who thought they were superior just because they’d been born with money. “Sounds like
something out of a novel.” He gave her a smile back that didn’t reach his eyes. “And why should she
have felt the need to do that, Granny.”
She pursed her lips. “Who knows? Young people today never have enough money.”
“Or perhaps she didn’t trust the people who were meant to be looking out for her.”
This time the smile was patronizing. “We’re her family, Joshua. I’m aware someone like you
wouldn’t understand that.”
“Actually, I understand it all too well.” Yeah, he knew all about how well family could look out for
each other.
She considered him, head cocked, like some sort of bird of prey about to peck his eyes out. “You
know, I could make it worth your while if this marriage to Lexi could be made to…disappear.”
Jesus, she was trying to bribe him now. She really did have a low opinion of him.
He took a step closer, let his eyes go cold and saw her swallow. “You say you’ve looked into my
background, so you know a little of what I’m capable of. You hurt Lexi, and I will come after you.
And I’ll warn you—I don’t play by the same rules.”
“Are you threatening me?”
“Yeah. Now, I’ll go tell Lexi her sweet little grandma is here. I’m sure she’ll be thrilled.”
Without waiting for her to say another word, he turned and left the room, taking the stairs two at a
time, wanting to be away from the woman. Lexi was sitting up in bed when he pushed open the door,
her curls wild around her head, her eyes sleepy.
“No coffee?”
“You can get some when you go down.”
She pouted. “You’re not coming back to bed?”
I love you.
The memory of the words echoed in his head, and a cold hard lump formed in his belly, souring his
mood even further. “Your grandmother is here.”
“Oh.” She sat up straighter. “Did she say anything to you?”
“What about?”
“About anything.”
“A few things.” He crossed the room to the dresser and grabbed his keys. “None worth repeating.”
Lexi studied him, lower lip caught between her teeth. “Grandmamma has an uncanny ability to hit
where it hurts. I hope she didn’t say anything to upset you.”
He sat down and pulled on his boots, before glancing at her. “Why would you think anything she’d
say could upset me?”
She gripped the edges of the sheet. “Because you look a little upset.”
“I’m fine. But I do need to go into the office.”
She pushed her hair back from her face and studied him some more, a frown between her eyes.
“Are you okay, Josh?”
He shrugged then stood up and grabbed his bag. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
“I’ll see you later?”
“I don’t know what time. I’m seeing some friends tonight.”
“Can I come? I’ve never met your friends.”
“Not tonight. Guys only.”
“Oh.”
Shit, why did he have the urge to go hug her, kiss it better, say he’d rather be with her? “Another
time. Logan has a night club—we’ll go dancing.”
“Really?” She smiled. “I love dancing, though I’m not very good.”
“Yeah, really.” He headed for the door, but at the last minute he turned back, crossed to where she
stood, leaned down, and kissed her hard. “How about lunch?”
Shit, where did that come from? His mouth had a mind of its own around Lexi. What the hell had
happened to keeping his distance? To taking a day to get his head together?
A smile blossomed on her face, and for a second the worry faded from her eyes, and it was worth
it.
“I’ll meet you at your office?”
He gave a brief nod, and he was gone.
…
At one o’clock sharp, Sally led her into Josh’s big corner office.
All morning, Lexi hadn’t been able to quite banish a sense of unease. She’d gotten rid of her
grandmother pretty quickly. She guessed she’d just been snooping around, or had wanted to talk to
Josh as much as to Lexi herself. She’d also been way nicer than she usually was, and Lexi had no clue
why. She hadn’t even asked for any money.
What had she said to him? What had he said back?
Her grandmother could be downright mean and manage it with a smile on her face, but Lexi didn’t
think Josh was the sensitive type. He appeared immune to emotions. She’d become receptive to his
moods over the last days. He hadn’t exactly opened up to her, but she felt they were getting closer,
and he seemed happy.
Until this morning.
He’d made such beautiful love to her. For the first time she’d sensed it was more than mere sex.
There was a true connection between them. She’d woken up to a feeling of well-being, a burgeoning
sense of happiness. She’d tried not to analyze it too deeply because Josh had made it more than clear
that he was not sticking around, had no interest in anything of a more long-term nature. So she’d told
herself to take what she could and not get in too deep. And maybe afterward, they could be friends.
Then he’d come back, and the relaxed lover of the last few days was gone. He seemed tense, not
happy. And while she tried to blame her grandmother, she suspected there was something else going
on in his head.
Now she looked at him, seated behind his huge steel desk, dressed in a charcoal gray suit with a
white shirt and a dark red tie. He looked different, the rough edges smoothed away. She wanted to go
across and kiss him, to snuggle in his lap, but something about him radiated standoffishness, and she
couldn’t quite get up the nerve to push past that.
He cleared his throat, and she realized she’d been standing staring at him for a good minute.
“You look smart,” she said.
“I had a meeting with the bank.”
“Oh. I hope it went well.”
“It did.” After loosening his tie, he pulled it over his head and shoved it in his desk drawer. Then
he unfastened the buttons on his shirt, revealing the V of golden skin at his throat. Sitting back, he
studied her out of those stunning blue eyes. “Sit down, Lexi.”
God, he was bossy. “Aren’t we going to lunch?”
“In a minute. I need to talk to you about something first.”
She took the chair opposite him and sat, hands on her lap, trying to subdue the worry gnawing at her
insides. He could hardly dump her. He was married to her and had promised her the next six months,
and she had come to believe he was a man of his word. But he could very easily distance himself, and
she didn’t want that.
His eyes held a guarded expression.
Had she messed up somehow? Come across as too needy? Maybe she hadn’t been quite so good at
hiding her emotions as she thought she was.
She studied his desk. It was immaculate. As was the whole office. So different from her own.
Maybe he’d realized he couldn’t live with her any longer. He’d said at the beginning that he hated
mess and he hated chaos.
Had he had enough of both?
She bit down on her lip and then glanced back at him. He was frowning at her.
“How did the meeting with your grandmother go?” he asked.
She shook her head to get her thoughts together. “Fine.”
“She didn’t say anything about us?”
“A little. But mostly just that she was happy to see me happy.” She gave a rueful smile at his
expression. “I know. I didn’t believe her either. I think she’s up to something, but I have no clue
what.”
“You don’t think she suspects the marriage is a sham?”
She wanted to shout that it wasn’t a sham, but that was being stupid and not honest with herself.
She’d been living in a little bubble these last few days. Her little fantasy bubble. “Probably. But I
don’t think she can prove it. If she could, she would have done something by now.”
“I got a phone call this morning from an ex-colleague of mine. He set up his own private
investigator business. He told me he’d been approached to get background information on me.”
“Who by?”
“He wouldn’t tell me. Client confidentiality, but he wanted to give me a heads up. It was yesterday
and he’s been trying to get hold of me since.”
“Oh. And you think it’s my grandmother.”
He shrugged. “I can’t think of anyone else who would investigate me right now.”
“Could she find anything?”
“Probably. It would be easy to prove we haven’t been living together.”
“Maybe we could say that was a glitch. All married people go through problems. We’re together
now. Hopefully that’s enough. I’ll check with my lawyer.”
“He knows about us?”
She nodded. “He’s a friend of Uncle Jamie’s. He set up the original paperwork.”
“Good.”
But he still didn’t look happy. Something else was bothering him, and she wanted to understand, to
help him get over it. “There’s something else?”
He raised a brow. “No.”
She nibbled on her lip a bit more, looked up, and found his gaze fixed on her mouth, a hot, hungry
expression in his eyes, which he blanked out as soon as he noticed her watching. He wanted her. But
he was trying to hide that fact. He hadn’t hidden it before. What had changed?
“Something’s bothering you.”
“I’m fine, Lexi.” His tone was laced with irritation, and she forced herself to go on. To say
something she’d been meaning to talk to him about, but she hadn’t wanted to spoil the mood. That no
longer seemed relevant—the mood was spoiled all on its own.
“I think you should contact your sister. She’s eighteen now.”
He sat up straight in his chair and narrowed his eyes. “How the hell do you know that?”
“I looked it up. It’s easy enough.”
“It’s nothing to do with you, Lexi. Leave it alone. She’s not my sister any longer.”
“But she could be.”
“She has another life now. Another family.”
“She’s still your sister, and you loved her.” He winced at the word, his eyes going cold and hard,
but she made herself continue. “I think you should contact her, Josh. Maybe she’d like to see you. I
think it would…help you.”
“You think I need help?” He glared at her. “You think I’m broken, and you can fix me. What am I?
Another of your fucking charity cases?”
She winced and swallowed. “I didn’t mean that. I just thought…” What had she thought?
He leaned back in his seat and regarded her from eyes that were far from friendly. “Or maybe it
was more that if you manage to fix me, then I can be your fantasy husband for real. Is that the case?
You’ll make me all better, and I’ll realize that true love does exist, and we can all live happily
fucking ever after?”
She sat there and stared straight ahead, because it came to her in a flash that that was exactly what
she had thought. It had been bubbling away in her subconscious since he’d told her about his sister.
She’d been having this little dream where she’d get them back together, and everything would be
lovely and rosy, and Josh would realize that he loved her and…
“Little Miss Fix-It,” he sneered. “You manage to sort out everyone’s life but your own. I bet that
stings.” She didn’t say anything because she couldn’t think of a thing to say. What had happened to her
never wanting love or marriage? When had that changed?
He shook his head. “Accept defeat, sweetheart. You can’t fix someone who doesn’t want to be
fixed.”
This was more than his sister. Some intuition told her he was using that as an excuse to force some
distance between them. “Why are you pushing me away? I haven’t asked you for anything more.”
He exhaled and ran a hand through his hair, obviously considering what to say next. “You told me
you loved me.”
Shock hit her in the gut. “What? When? No, I didn’t.”
“This morning after we had sex. You were half asleep.”
She swallowed, trying to remember back. It had all been so sweet and perfect. Could she have said
the words out loud? “Well, there you go then. I was dreaming.”
He gave her a long look. “Yeah, but the problem is, you only dream of me.”
She wanted to deny it, but the words stuck in her throat.
“The last thing I want to do is hurt you, Lexi.”
Too late.
“And I won’t let you down. We can continue this charade until you don’t need me anymore, but
maybe we should take a step back. The physical stuff is clouding the issue.”
She looked into his face and saw…pity. He could see what she felt—obviously she was a crap
actress—and he pitied her for it.
“You just think you love me,” he said. “It’s not real. You’ll get over it.”
Josh had convinced himself he was incapable of love. Or maybe that he didn’t want it, wouldn’t
risk it. And she wasn’t strong enough to get through that barrier.
Everything inside her ached.
She had to get out of there, before she broke down and begged him to give her a chance, not to cut
her off. How could she go through the next six months being close, but not allowed to touch him?
Somehow she had to find the strength. She shook her head and got to her feet. “I take it lunch is off.”
She half hoped he’d say something to stop her, but he was silent as she left the room.
Chapter Thirteen
Lexi spent an hour wandering the streets, trying to get her head straight.
She needed…she wasn’t sure what she needed. What could help her right now? Finally, she went
home because the place always had the effect of soothing her. She sort of hoped the place would be
empty, but as she pushed open the front door, she could hear voices from the kitchen. It sounded like
the whole gang was here. She tried to tiptoe past, needing the sanctuary of her room, but the kitchen
door opened before she reached the stairs.
“Lexi?” It was Jean, and Lexi turned reluctantly to her. “Are you all right?”
She plastered a smile on her face. “Why shouldn’t I be?”
Jean gave her a strange look. “Josh called. He said you were upset about something and wanted to
know if you’d gotten home okay.”
He had? She stamped on the little flicker of hope that woke deep inside her. “I’m fine.”
Jean came out and hustled her into the kitchen. “Come and sit for a minute. We’ve hardly seen you
the last week.”
Tom and Sarah sat at the table, both with worried frowns on their faces. Luckily there was no sign
of Harry, and his Porsche wasn’t in the drive. She didn’t think she was up to any pretense right now.
“Honestly, guys, I’m fine.”
Jean pulled out a chair for her and pressed her gently on the shoulder until she sank down. Tom got
up, grabbed a bottle of red wine, uncorked it, and poured her a huge glass, pushing it across the table
toward her. “Drink.”
She drank.
“We want you to know we’re here for you,” Sarah said. “You took us all in, helped us when we
needed it.”
“You’re our family,” Tom said.
Aw.
She really wished they weren’t being so nice because tears were pricking at her eyes and heat was
rolling over her, and she really didn’t want to break down in public.
“You’re strong,” Jean said.
“I am?” She didn’t feel strong. She felt all wishy-washy and about to fall apart.
Jean nodded. “You help everyone else, but you don’t think you need help. But everyone does,
honey, at some point.”
Lexi took a gulp of her wine, then another. Tom reached across and refilled her glass. She chewed
on her lip. Drank some more. Took a deep breath. “I’m in love with Josh.”
There, she’d said it.
She waited for the cries of disbelief. Peered around the table. Tom looked…sad. Sarah was
nodding as if she’d said the most sensible thing ever. Jean pursed her lips then sank down in the chair
next to Lexi and took her hand.
“Love’s a bitch,” she said. “And he is one good-looking guy.”
“And he is your husband,” Sarah added.
“My pretend husband.” Lexi almost smiled. “And he doesn’t believe in love, or he’s scared of love
or…” She shrugged. “Whatever. He doesn’t love me anyway. Told me he’d never love me.” She
sniffed, blinked, and a tear rolled down her cheek. She emptied her wineglass in one go and held it
out for more. Tom hesitated, and she glared. The wine was creating a nice buzz in her brain. “And it
hurts because he’s sooo perfect.”
“No man is perfect, honey.”
She rested her elbow on the table, her chin in her hand and sighed. “I don’t mean he’s actually
perfect.” Though waking up with him deep inside her came as close to perfection as she could
imagine. “But I never knew it could be like that, and now he doesn’t want me anymore.”
“I’m guessing he wants you. He’s just told himself he can’t have you.”
“He’s damaged goods. He told me he’s broken.” She took another gulp. “He said I go around fixing
people.”
“There’s nothing wrong with that.”
“Except he doesn’t want to be fixed.” She sniffed again, and someone passed her a tissue. “I’ve got
to let him go, and I don’t want to. He’s right. I want to fix him so bad that it hurts.”
“Aw, sweetheart, you’ll get over it.”
Maybe. Maybe not.
“He’ll still be around, because we need to stay married for another six months, but how am I
supposed to be around him and not…”
Touch him. Hold him. Love him.
“Keep busy,” Tom said.
She sighed, wiped away her tears, cried some more, and let Jean pull her into a huge hug. She
wasn’t much used to hugging—her family really hadn’t done much of that—and the warmth and the
scent of Chanel—her mother had worn the same perfume—tipped her over the edge, and she was
bawling.
Someone cleared their throat from the doorway.
Great. More people to witness my breakdown.
She peered over Jean’s shoulder. “Uncle Jamie.”
“I knocked on the door, but no one came.”
She pulled free and hurled herself out of her chair and into his arms. They tightened around her for
a moment, and then he held her away from him, studying her, no doubt taking in her red eyes and tear-
blotched cheeks.
“Hey, what’s the matter?”
“Nothing really. Just a tough day.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Your grandmother still in town?”
She nodded and took a deep breath. “So what are you doing here?”
They made a point of seeing each other at least twice a year, but usually by arrangement. She
wasn’t sure exactly what Jamie did, but it took him out of the county for long stretches of time.
“Can’t I just want to see my favorite honorary niece?”
“Yes, but I bet that’s not the case.”
“A bit of both actually. There is something I wanted to talk to you about.”
She looked around at the people listening avidly. “Let’s go through into the sitting room, and we can
talk.”
She led the way out into the hall and then into the small sitting room at the back of the house. It was
all chintz and ornaments and hadn’t been touched since she moved in. She waited until Jamie sat
down and then perched on the sofa opposite.
“Are you really okay?” he asked. “I’ve never known you to cry before.”
“I’ve been better. But I’ll be okay.”
He studied her for a minute. “You’ve dealt with your grandmother for years, and she doesn’t reduce
you to tears.”
“No, she makes me angry.”
“So is it Slater?” When she didn’t answer, because she wasn’t sure what to say—she didn’t want to
get Josh into trouble; Jamie could probably send a black ops team to assassinate him or something—
he continued, “I know he moved in here with you.”
“You do?”
“Slater called me to let me know and to ask something.”
Why had he done that?
“So has he upset you in some way?”
She shook her head and decided on the truth. “I fell in love with him.”
“With Slater?”
The look of astonishment on his face almost made her giggle. “Why not?”
“Because he’s an ice cold son-of-a-bitch. And a loner. It was one of the reasons I picked him when
you needed someone.”
“I didn’t say he’d fallen in love with me.”
“Ah.” He gave her a rueful smile. “Hence the tears.”
“Don’t worry. I was having my five minutes of misery. It won’t happen again. I’m a big girl.”
“It’s for the best. He’s a good man, but he’s also damaged goods.”
“So he told me. And I’ll get over it.”
She just wasn’t sure when. A hundred years or so might do it. “So what was the other thing you
wanted to talk about?”
“Slater mentioned that your grandmother and Daniel were in town. He was worried for you, didn’t
trust them. Slater was one of the best men I’ve ever had—if his gut tells him something, you listen. He
suggested I get an audit done on your trust fund.”
“Why? I have the accounts done annually anyway. And I trust my accountants. There’s no way
Grandmamma could touch it now.”
“Not now, no. Slater suggested I look into the early years.”
“And did you?”
“I requested the accounts and got an immediate audit.”
“She knows you were doing this?”
“I’m not sure. I actually had the rights under your father’s will. I never did anything, because I knew
you were finding things hard, and I didn’t want to rock the boat. Plus, it never occurred to me that
your own family would steal from you.”
“And was she?”
“Oh yes. Hundreds of thousands. And she hardly bothered to hide the theft. I don’t know how she
got away with it.”
Arrogance, Lexi presumed. “I won’t prosecute my grandmother.”
“You don’t need to. Slater suggested that if we have something on her, then she’d back off. He
reckoned you were worried.”
So he did care a little. Just not enough. “Is this sufficient to make her back off?”
“Plenty. She could be locked away for years if you took her to court. And I’m guessing the threat of
releasing the information to the press would be enough to make her not interfere with your life.”
It was a lot to take in. But the knowledge was like a weight lifted from her. She’d been so worried
her grandmother would make things difficult, would lock up the money so Lexi would be tied up in
court for years. Now that would never happen. Josh had done this for her. It occurred to her that
maybe he’d been looking for a way out, so he could get his divorce and go have his nice no-strings
sex, no doubt with women too savvy to make the mistake of falling in love with him.
“Have you got the proof?”
Jamie opened his briefcase and pulled out some papers. “This is a summary. There’s more, but if
you want to scare her off, then this should do it.”
“Thank you.”
She tried to smile. She should be happy. Earlier she’d wondered how she could get through the next
six months having to spend time with Josh and not being able to get close to him.
Now that was no longer a necessity. She could go set the divorce in motion.
It hurt. But she loved him, so if this was what he wanted, she would set him free.
…
Logan looked rough, worse than rough, and Vito was no better.
So Josh wasn’t the only one having a hard time with his life changing vow, regretting the decision
he had made while floating in that lifeboat, drinking far too much scotch and trying to forget his leg
hurt like a bitch and that they’d just come an inch from death
Hell, he’d felt better then than he did right now.
Why the fuck had he decided he needed to get laid? He couldn’t remember.
The thing was, facing death had a way of changing a man, making him think about how things could
be different. But he’d been in pain, half-drunk…how was his brain expected to work the way it
should at a time like that? How could he rely on the decisions he made being the right ones? The
sensible ones?
Go get laid, he’d thought. How complicated could that be?
They were sitting in a booth in the VIP section of Logan’s nightclub. The place was crawling with
gorgeous women. They kept up a constant stream, passing close to the table, their smiles making it
more than clear they’d welcome an invitation to join the three of them. And he’d bet they’d all be
more than willing to engage in a little no-strings fun afterward.
And he couldn’t even begin to imagine it.
And it wasn’t because he was married.
Well, in a way it was. It was because he couldn’t get his wife out of his head.
She loved him.
She hadn’t admitted it.
He’d phoned Jean again just to check. She’d told him Lexi was home and she was fine. She’d also
gone on to tell him that he was a bastard, and he should leave Lexi alone.
Hell, wasn’t that what he was trying to do?
The right thing. Because he was no damn good for her.
He glared at the other two men. This was their fault. “Things to do before you die…whose fucking
idea was that, anyway?” he said, throwing back the whiskey and slamming his glass down on the
table. Logan reached across and filled it from the bottle in front of him and topped off his own at the
same time. Vito’s was still full.
“I think it was yours,” Logan said.
Had it been? He tried to remember back through the whiskey haze already buzzing in his head.
“Never. Not in a million years would I have put myself in this situation. Besides, I had a broken leg at
the time. Why would the two of you listen to a man who was in pain and obviously not thinking
straight?”
“I take it things are not going well with your…wife?”
“Things are going shit. And I don’t want to talk about it. I just want to drink.”
“How about you?” Logan asked Vito.
“I’m not drinking. I have a gut feeling that drunk, I will make a decision that I will later regret. So
I’m staying sober.”
Josh eyed up Logan. “Give us some good news. How’s your fantasy girl?” Logan had gone hunting
for some one-night stand he’d had eleven years ago. He’d found her, together with the ten-year-old
daughter Logan had known nothing about. “Is she everything you dreamed of?”
Logan was silent for a moment; he didn’t look like a man who had found the woman of his dreams.
He drained his glass and exhaled. “Nothing like I remembered.”
“Sorry, mate.”
Fantasies were merely fabrication. Look at him and Lexi. She’d admitted he was her fantasy
husband, and she hadn’t even known him. How could it be based on real life? If she spent more time
with him, she’d soon find he wasn’t anyone’s dream husband. More like a nightmare.
Logan shrugged. “Some things should be left alone.”
“You get laid yet?” Vito asked.
Josh shook his head. He didn’t want to think of Lexi in terms of getting laid. It seemed somehow
wrong. “Still working out the divorce.”
“I thought you were getting an annulment.”
“I was. Now I’m not. And like I said—I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Seems like we’re all fucked royally,” Vito said.
“Yup.” Josh agreed. “Let’s get pissed.”
Vito took a deep breath. “Fuck this.” He picked up his drink, swallowed the contents in one go, and
pushed his empty glass toward Logan. “Fill it up.”
Three hours later, Josh tried to push himself up, almost managed it, and collapsed back to the table.
“I’m heading home. If I can get up. I need to call a cab.”
“I’ll get Mark to take you,” Logan said. He waved a hand, and the most enormous man Josh had
ever seen walked up—tall and broad with tattoos crawling up his neck and over his shaved head.
“And I need to get back to my hotel,” Vito said.
Josh made another effort to get up, this time managing it. “Come back with me. Lexi likes taking in
lost causes. You’ll be right at home.”
They lurched across the floor, and he held onto Vito for balance. Shit, he couldn’t remember when
he’d been this pissed. Not since he’d left the army, that was for sure. Vito swayed from side to side,
and Josh grabbed him before he fell over.
“You sure it will be all right?” Vito asked.
For a moment Josh had no clue what he was talking about. How could anything be all right? Lexi
loved him. It was a goddamned disaster.
“Me coming home with you?” Vito prompted when he remained silent.
“Of course it will. The more the merrier. And I’ll even introduce you to Prudence. She’s this really
hot chick.”
Chapter Fourteen
When Lexi woke the next morning, she was alone.
Josh hadn’t come back last night. Had he gone home or somewhere else?
She’d tried to get hold of him to tell him that he was off the hook, and that her lawyer was looking
into the quickest way to sever the knots that bound them.
Sally had told her Josh had left the office and she had no clue where he’d gone. Lexi had called his
home number and his cell but gotten no response.
She tried to feel cheerful. Now she could start to live. Date even.
In some ways she’d been in limbo for the last few years. Her whole adult life, in fact. Except it
hadn’t felt like that. She’d loved her life for the last five years. She was guessing that at eighteen she
wouldn’t have been ready for relationships. She’d been very naive for her age. This time had given
her a chance to grow up, to understand what she really wanted out of life.
Thank you, Josh.
What she wanted from a man.
An image of Josh naked flashed up in her mind, and she pushed it back.
Today is the first day of the rest of my life.
She huffed out a breath and then crawled out of bed and into the shower. She was wearing one of
Josh’s T-shirts because she hadn’t been able to find any clean pajamas last night. And who was she
kidding?
Loser.
She’d wanted to feel close to him. Now she dragged it over her head and stuffed it in the bottom of
the laundry basket so he’d hopefully miss it when he came to pick up his stuff.
Not that he’d made a lot of clutter. He was so tidy. Everything in its place.
How could she fall in love with someone that tidy?
He was an aberration.
No, she was definitely better off without him.
She dressed in jeans, a tank top, and flip flops. She didn’t have to go into the office today, but she
did have to confront her grandmother. Just the thought made her tired, but it would be good to not have
to worry anymore. She couldn’t wait to get over her broken heart so she could really appreciate her
newfound freedom.
But she wasn’t holding her breath.
When she came down the stairs, she passed the open living room door on her way to the kitchen…
then backtracked to look again.
That hadn’t been there when she went to bed last night.
She tiptoed to the open door. One of the most beautiful men she had ever seen lay fast asleep on her
couch. A complete stranger. He wore gray pants and a white silk shirt, which accentuated his olive
skin. His hair was midnight black, perfectly cut, and thick black lashes lay across his cheeks. He had
high cheekbones, a straight nose and full lips, and a scar ran from his left eye down over his cheek,
giving him an air of mystery and danger. And there was a chicken perched on his chest.
She shook her head, and then a noise from across the room dragged her attention from the Adonis
sleeping on her couch. Josh lay on the matching sofa. He didn’t have a chicken, but he did have a cat
on his chest and a dog sprawled across his feet. His eyes were open, slightly narrowed, and he was
watching her.
He’d come back.
She tiptoed across and perched on the edge of the sofa beside him, stroking the cat’s head—she
purred beneath her fingertips—because she needed to do something with her hands. Hands which
were itching to reach out and stroke Josh.
“Did you have a good night?”
His eyes narrowed even further but he didn’t speak.
“Is that your friend?” She nodded at the unconscious man opposite her. He was all right, wasn’t he?
She stared a bit longer until she caught the slight rise and fall of his chest.
Josh opened his mouth, cleared his throat. “Yeah. That’s Vito.”
“He’s…stunning.” She hadn’t meant to say that; it had just fallen out. But it wasn’t often you got up
to find sleeping beauty on your sofa. But she did realize she might have been less than diplomatic.
“Not as stunning as you, obviously.”
“Obviously,” Josh said drily. “Vito owned the cruise ship that sank. You could say he’s to blame for
all this.”
Presumably by “all this,” he meant having to spend time with her. She decided not to grace the
comment with an answer.
He slid his feet out from under the dog, gave the cat a gentle push so she jumped to the floor, then
sat up and groaned. “Jesus. My head hurts.”
“Hangover?”
He didn’t deign to reply, just pressed a hand to his forehead.
“Coffee and painkillers?”
He gave her a small smile. “Please.”
“Then we have to talk.”
“We do.”
“Don’t worry. It’s good news.”
She got up and headed for the door, scooping up Prudence as she left. Vito groaned and rolled onto
his side.
She made a pot of coffee, dug some painkillers out of the drawer, and put everything on a tray. Jean
came in as she was leaving. “Did you know the lounge is full of beautiful men?”
Lexi nodded but didn’t stop to talk about it. She carried the tray into the sitting room and put it on
the coffee table between the two sofas. Josh had disappeared and the other man was lying on his
back, his arm flung over his face, his legs hanging off the edge. He had to be at least six-foot-three,
long and lean.
Josh appeared at that moment. He’d clearly splashed water on his face; his hair was damp at the
edges. He still wore the suit trousers from yesterday and his shirt was wrinkled. He nudged the
sleeping man in the shoulder as he passed.
“Vito, you lazy bastard, time to wake up.”
“Piss off,” the other man mumbled.
Josh raised a brow but took a seat next to Lexi.
A minute later, Vito’s arm dropped, and his eyes opened. He caught sight of Lexi and sat up quickly,
wincing.
“Mi scusi, signorina. I didn’t know we had company.”
“This is my wife, Lexi,” Josh said.
The dark eyes studied her for a long moment. “Ah, much becomes clear.”
Not to her it didn’t. She handed out painkillers and coffee and sat watching the two of them.
The coloring was completely different, Josh golden while the other man was dark. Everything about
Vito screamed wealth, from his immaculately cut hair to his perfectly manicured fingers. But despite
the obvious differences, they both gave off an air of assurance, as though they knew they were better
than everyone else and had nothing to prove.
She felt totally intimidated, between the two of them. They were so…perfect.
She waited while they both finished another cup without speaking. She was guessing last night had
been a heavy drinking session—had Josh been drowning his sorrows? Had he been bemoaning to his
friends the fact that his crazy mess of a wife had inconveniently fallen in love with him? Vito clearly
knew something about her.
Finally, they both put their cups down.
“You mind if I go wash up?” Vito asked Lexi.
“Of course. The bathroom is across the hall, the blue door.”
“Grazie.”
Once he was gone, Lexi turned back to Josh. He regarded her warily, like he expected her to leap
on top of him and profess her undying love. She took a sip of her own coffee, but it was cool and she
placed it back on the tray.
Come on, Lexi, give the poor man his freedom. Let him off the hook.
But she couldn’t get the words out.
“You said we needed to talk.” Josh finally broke the silence. “What’s happened? Is your
grandmother causing trouble?”
“No, I told you—it’s good news.” She licked her lips. “Uncle Jamie came to see me yesterday.”
“The colonel? What did he want?”
“He said you’d suggested that he get an audit of my trust fund. The years when grandmother had
control.”
He frowned. “I’d forgotten I mentioned it. And did he?”
She nodded. “Yes, and apparently she’d been helping herself to quite a lot. He gave me the proof.”
“Are you going to lock her sorry ass up?”
“Of course I’m not. She’s my grandmother.”
“You’re a nicer person than me, Lexi Slater. But then I’ve known that from the start.”
“But I will show it to her and tell her to back off. That I’ll use it if she tries to interfere or get
access to my money again.”
“Hmm, maybe you’d better let me do that. She knows you—probably won’t believe you’ll see it
through.”
“She’ll believe me.” Now for the hard bit, though it would probably make Josh’s day. “You know
what this means?”
“What?”
Was he being purposefully obtuse? “We don’t need to stay married.”
He’d been gazing somewhere over her left shoulder. Now his focus shot to her face. When he didn’t
say anything, she hurried on. “Grandmamma won’t contest the trust.” Still he didn’t say anything, and
she twisted her fingers on her lap while she waited for his response. Nothing.
“I talked with my lawyer yesterday,” she said. “He’s looking into the quickest way we can get the
divorce. He doesn’t think it will take too long if neither of us contests. Josh, are you listening to me?”
“Of course.”
“Well, say something. I thought you’d be jumping for joy. There’s no need to stay here now. It
doesn’t matter if Harry or Grandmamma knows the truth. And think—soon you’ll be able to go out
and get all that no-strings sex.”
She sounded bitchy, but she felt bitchy, and why wasn’t he saying anything?
At that moment, Vito appeared in the open doorway. He glanced between the two of them. “I’ve
phoned my driver,” he said. “He’ll be here in a few minutes.” He stepped into the room and came to a
halt in front of Lexi. “Thank you for your hospitality.”
As he turned to go, Josh jumped to his feet. “Can you give me a lift? I left my car at the office.”
“Of course.”
She stiffened and stared at him. She wanted to shout that they needed to talk. But did they? Was
there anything left to say? So she bit her lip and kept quiet.
Josh turned to her. “I’m glad everything has worked out for you.” He strode to the doorway as
though he couldn’t get out of there fast enough. “I’ll send someone over for my things.”
And he was gone. Just like that.
Vito stared down at her, one eyebrow raised. “Just tell yourself that he wouldn’t be running so fast
if he didn’t care. And don’t give up on him.”
Then he was gone as well, leaving her alone and staring at the open doorway.
Maybe the problem was that he did care. If he didn’t, he would perhaps have stuck around, and they
could have had a few months of no-strings sex and then parted amicably.
It didn’t matter; he was gone anyway.
…
Josh had had to leave.
Because he had no clue what to do or say.
His head hurt, and it wasn’t from the alcohol.
He could walk away. He never needed to see her again.
Yesterday he’d told her that they needed distance, but at the same time he’d believed he would still
see her every day. That they’d have months, and somehow he’d find a way to cope with the inevitable
separation. But now it was here and he didn’t know how to cope.
Panic clawed at his guts. He remembered when he’d been shot in Afghanistan, remembered lying in
the hot sand, waiting for them to come along and finish him off. He hadn’t felt as scared as he did
now.
“Are you okay?” Vito asked from the seat beside him.
He nodded. “Yeah, I’m fine. Can you let me out here?”
Vito spoke to the driver and the vehicle slowed and pulled over.
“Are you sure you’re okay? Come back to the hotel with me. We’ll get some breakfast…”
“No. I’m good. I need some fresh air, that’s all.”
“Okay.” He opened the door. “By the way, I like your wife.”
“So do I,” Josh said as he climbed out.
He had no idea where he was, and he just started moving. He hit the river and walked along the
embankment, breathing in the salty tang. He had no sense of where he was going until he glanced up
and recognized the tower block where he had spent his childhood.
This place was a world away from Hampstead Heath. Growing up, he hadn’t even realized places
like that existed. He sat on a wall facing the building and counted up the windows, finding the eighth
floor and the apartment he’d lived in until he was seventeen. The curtains were different; no doubt
someone had moved in. Probably the place had changed hands numerous times. You didn’t stay here
longer than necessary if you could get out. Like his mother had gotten out, leaving him and Evie
behind.
He’d never been back in the years since. Why would he? He was happy to put the whole fucking
memory behind him.
The place held an air of depression, the gray walls scattered with graffiti, the patches of grass
threadbare. A group of kids were playing football under a weak sun. Any one of them could have been
him fifteen years ago.
What the hell chance would these kids have to get out of this place? Maybe losing Evie had done
him some good. Maybe he’d still be here, doing God knows what, if she hadn’t been taken from him.
Maybe they’d both won in the end.
Except he didn’t feel like he’d won. He felt like his heart was cracked in two all over again. He
had a longing to sit in Lexi’s warm kitchen. He didn’t even mind the people or the animals. He’d
gotten used to them. He’d even grown fond of the chicken. He hated mess and chaos, but he’d come to
love Lexi’s house, probably because it was the first real home he’d ever lived in. Hell, the thought of
going back to his sterile apartment made him want to weep.
He’d never cried in his life. Well, only the once, when he’d finally accepted that he’d lost Evie and
was never getting her back.
The kids had stopped playing now. They were loitering, lighting up, passing a bottle between them.
A group of girls joined them, with short skirts and dyed blonde hair. They couldn’t be older than
eleven or twelve. He wanted to go over and knock some sense into them. That might have been Evie
if she hadn’t got out of here.
Maybe he could get Lexi to set up one of her charities. He could help. Somehow give them a chance
to escape this life. At least let them see there were other things out there.
“What you staring at, mister? You some sort of pervert?”
He glanced down to see one of the boys glaring up at him, a blank, hostile look in his young eyes. “I
used to live here”—he waved a hand—“in that apartment over there.”
“And you came back? You crazy?”
He grinned. “Just feeling nostalgic.”
“What’s that mean?”
“Look it up.”
He jumped off the wall, gave the building one last glance, and strode away. There was no going
back. But maybe he could go forward. The first step was understanding where he wanted to be.
A vision of Lexi flashed through his mind, followed by a long ago memory of Evie, blond-haired
and blue-eyed and super-cute, holding her arms out to him. He pulled out his phone and did a search
for the number of the local social services, then punched it in.
“Can I help you?”
“Yeah. My sister was adopted eleven years ago. She’ll be eighteen now. I want to know how I go
about contacting her.”
Chapter Fifteen
Lexi wandered around the house as though in a daze.
He was gone, and he wasn’t coming back.
Now she had to get through this. And she would. She’d done it before, long ago, when her parents
had been killed. She’d do it again.
For once she had the place to herself, and she was glad. They were all being so careful around her.
Josh had been right. She’d been in total denial about the fact that she needed something. Again, a
hang up from losing her parents. She subconsciously associated need with loss.
Or rather, she had been in denial until he’d come into her life for real.
Then it was impossible to ignore. But maybe these feelings were inevitable. She’d put her life on
hold when she married Josh. But everyone needed someone. Everyone needed to be the most
important person in the world to someone else. She was no different. Now she had to accept that for
her, that someone else was never going to be Josh.
But she hated the thought of him accepting that he had to be alone, that he didn’t deserve love. He
had so much to give.
She’d allow herself today to mope, and then she would get back up, dust herself off, deal with her
grandmother and anything else that came her way.
She lay on the sofa where Josh had slept and burrowed her face in the cushion trying to get a brief
scent of him, but he was gone. Her phone rang, and she grabbed it up and stared at the number. But she
didn’t recognize it, and her heart sank. No good hoping.
“Hello. Lexi Slater here.”
The other end was silent for a moment, though she could hear someone breathing.
“Hello?”
“Hello.” A girl’s voice. “My name’s Evelyn. I think you might be married to my brother.”
…
All he could do now was wait. They’d told him it would take time. They had to contact Evelyn and
her family and find out if she wanted to see him.
Would she?
He really had no clue.
But he hoped.
He was heading to his office when his phone rang. He pulled it out of his pocket and stared at the
number. Lexi.
Did she want to talk about the divorce? No way. He wasn’t ready to talk about it, and he certainly
wasn’t ready to do it.
He put the phone away without answering.
It rang again ten minutes later. Then five minutes. This time he took a deep breath and pressed the
button.
“Josh?” She sounded almost breathless, excited.
“What is it?”
“Your sister called. She’s trying to find you.”
For a moment he couldn’t process the words. “I don’t understand. I just talked to social services,
they told me it could take weeks.”
“You did? That’s wonderful, Josh. But she didn’t call because of social services. She hired a
private detective to find you—apparently it wasn’t difficult.”
“I don’t believe it.”
“Well, do. It must have been Evelyn who employed your friend. She’d promised her parents she’d
wait until she was eighteen, and then she did it on her birthday.”
He rubbed a hand around the back of his neck, trying to take it all in.
“Josh?”
“Yeah. I’m just…” He shook his head. “She wants to see me? Really?”
“She’s on her way here now.”
“What? Shit.” Christ, he smelled like he’d been on an all-night bender, and he was still wearing the
same clothes from yesterday. He hadn’t shaved or showered or… Jesus.
“It will be okay, Josh. She’s never forgotten you.”
He stood in the middle of the street, panic and hope and a thousand memories battling inside him.
“I’m on my way.”
A yellow Mini was parked in the drive. The sight stopped him in his tracks. She was here. He
scrubbed a hand over the rough skin of his jaw as he came to a halt.
He could do this.
Lexi opened the door as he climbed the steps. “She’s here, Josh, and she’s lovely, and she looks
exactly like you.” She held the door open for him, but stepped past as he entered.
“Are you going somewhere?”
“I thought I’d let you two have some time together. And…”
“And…?”
“Well, it seems to be a day for sorting out family stuff. I thought I’d go sort out my own.”
“You’re going to see your grandmother?”
“Yes. Wish me luck.”
“You want me to come? I mean, after I talk to my sister?”
“No, it’s something I have to do alone.”
He nodded. He could understand that. “Call me if you need anything.”
“I will.” At the last minute she rested a hand on his shoulder and kissed his cheek. “You’re a good
man. She knows that.”
He found her in the kitchen, bending down stroking one of the dogs. He paused in the doorway to
watch her. She was recognizable from the thirteen-year-old he had seen five years ago, but all grown
up. A beautiful young woman, with long sun-kissed blond hair. She straightened and turned, then
stared at him with dark blue eyes so like his own.
For a minute they studied each other. She was tall and slender, but he could make out the lingering
remnants of the child she’d been, and something twisted inside him.
“Josh?”
He gave a nod.
She took a step toward him, reached out, and touched his cheek. “I remember you.”
“You do?”
“Of course.” She bit her lip. “Are you okay with me being here? My parents told me I had to be
prepared for the fact that maybe you wouldn’t want to see me. Wouldn’t care.”
“I care.”
“I told them you would. I remember how you looked after me, but I worried that you might have
forgotten.”
He rolled up his sleeve and showed her the tattoo on his forearm. “Though I wouldn’t have
forgotten. You were the one good thing in my life.”
She blinked away a tear. “God, we’re going to get maudlin. I can see it.”
“No, we won’t. I’m so happy to see you.” He opened his arms, and she stepped into them, and he
hugged her close. Finally, he held her away from him. “Sit down. I’ll make us both a coffee. We can
talk.”
“Lexi told me you were in the army,” she said, taking a seat at the table and resting her head on her
hands as she watched him move around the kitchen. He couldn’t believe how comfortable he felt with
her. He’d expected a level of awkwardness that wasn’t there. “And that you have medals and
everything.”
“One medal and a few scars. I joined after you were adopted. There wasn’t a lot else I could do. I
was seventeen and had totally flunked at school.”
“That’s because you were looking after me. I know what you did for me, how you took care of me. I
can hardly remember our mother.”
He gave a rueful smile. “Probably best that way. You plan to look her up?”
“I don’t think so. Do you ever see her?”
For a second, he hesitated, taking his time filling the mugs from the coffee pot as he considered his
answer. She was Evie’s mother after all. Maybe they should have a chance. But he knew deep down
that their mother would never care for anyone but herself. Better Evie understood that now. “No.
Though she contacted me a couple of years ago.”
“She wanted to see you?”
“Hell, no. Someone had told her I was doing okay. She wanted money.”
“And you told her where to go, I hope.”
“Sort of. I gave her the money and told her to stay the hell away from me.” He took a sip of coffee.
“What about your new family?”
“They’re wonderful. I got lucky, I guess. And I have a younger brother and sister as well. Both
adopted like me.”
“That’s good. I’m glad it worked out for you.”
“They want to meet you. Will you and Lexi come for dinner one night?”
“I’d like that.” Though he didn’t mention that Lexi would likely be out of his life by then. He didn’t
want to think about that, let alone put it into words.
“And you? How are you doing? Lexi seems wonderful, and I love your house.”
“It’s Lexi’s house.”
“But she’s your wife.”
“It’s complicated.”
She studied him, her head cocked to one side. “Tell me.”
And somehow he found himself telling her the whole story of how he’d married Lexi for money.
Well, maybe not the whole thing. He still couldn’t put into words how he felt.
She placed her mug on the table and pursed her lips. “So you’re going to give up and just walk
away?”
“It’s what we agreed.” And he didn’t do emotional attachments. And he needed to walk away
before he got in too deep. He’d promised himself he would never give anyone that power over him
again, because it led to nothing but pain.
Except here was Evie. She’d never forgotten him, and she loved him.
“Yes,” Evie said. “But that was before you fell in love with her.”
He sat for a moment, staring at his hands. Of course he fucking loved her. Christ, he was already in
way too deep, over his head and drowning. It had probably been too late that first moment when he’d
stepped through her office door and she’d leaped for him and kissed him.
“Yeah. But that doesn’t change anything. Lexi doesn’t need someone like me in her life. She’s rich
and educated and…good.”
“What do you mean someone like you?” Evie sounded outraged. “You’re my brother. That makes
you perfect. And good enough for anyone.”
That’s what families should be for. To give you unequivocal approval. Love without conditions.
Could he do that? Maybe he’d mess up. Maybe they both would. But also maybe he deserved the
chance to try.
Did Lexi really love him? Or was it her fantasy husband she loved?
“I’m pretty sure she loves you,” Evie said.
He smiled. “You only met her for a few minutes.”
“She told me you’d be the best brother ever.”
“She did?”
“She believes in you.”
Now, all he had to do was believe in himself—and somehow convince Lexi to give them both
another chance.
…
Lexi had told them to meet her in the coffee bar at the Ritz. She’d thought a public place would be
better. If her grandmother lost her cool, she’d be less likely to make a scene in front of strangers.
“No husband today, Alexia?” her grandmother said as she took a seat opposite Lexi. Daniel sat
beside her, then Harry on one side of Lexi, Melissa on the other. She twitched with the need to
escape.
“Josh couldn’t make it,” she said. “Family matters.” Gosh, she hoped he and Evie were getting on.
Hoped he would find some sort of peace if his sister came back into his life. And maybe one day he’d
come to believe in love. Too late for her, but she wanted him to be happy. He deserved happiness.
“What a surprise.” Her grandmother sniffed. “Lost interest already, perhaps? Or I think it’s more
likely he was never interested in the first place.”
Lexi shrugged. “It doesn’t matter what you think.” That was one good thing about the whole Josh
debacle—her grandmother’s cruel jibes had lost any power to hurt her.
“I believe you’re mistaken in that. All I want is my due. Your father was my son after all.”
“He left you plenty.”
“He left you more.”
“Maybe he knew you’d waste it.”
“Really, Alexia. What I do with my money is really no concern of yours.”
“How about what you do with my money?”
“I have no clue what you’re talking about. I believe you’re the one in the wrong here. How will it
look when it gets out that you had to pay a man to marry you?”
Lexi felt the nausea churn in her stomach. Just once, she’d like her grandmother to surprise her and
behave nicely.
“I always knew that a man like that would never be interested in you.”
It was official, her grandmother was a bitch. Lexi clutched the envelope in her hand and decided
she was actually going to enjoy this.
“Actually,” Harry said. “That’s not exactly true. They can’t keep their hands off each other.”
She shot him a look of surprise. He was standing up for her?
He shrugged then patted her arm. “Hey, what are brothers for?”
She gave him a smile and turned her attention back to her grandmother.
“This is really none of your business, Harry.”
“Of course it is. I was sent to spy, after all. I’m just reporting back.”
Wow, Harry had grown a backbone after all these years.
They started bickering among themselves, and she let the conversation roll over her for a minute,
until her ears started to hurt. Why couldn’t she have a nice family? But in a way she did. She had Jean
and Tom and Sarah. And for a while she’d had Josh.
But that hurt too much.
Time to move this on and get out of here and back to…what? A house without Josh.
She cleared her throat. No response, so she banged a spoon on the table and finally everyone fell
silent.
“Right,” she said, “the reason I asked you to meet me here today is—”
A commotion at the entrance made her turn her head. Josh stood in the doorway, and her heart
melted. Had he come to help her face her grandmother before he walked out of her life forever? He
was still wearing the same clothes from yesterday and looked a little the worse for wear…and totally
gorgeous.
A waitress was talking to him, gesturing to something beside him, and she dragged her gaze from
Josh. A big black dog stood at his side. Toby. With a red bow around his neck.
What was going on?
He spoke to the waitress and pointed toward their table. The girl’s eyes widened, then she gave a
quick nod and a grin and let Josh and his companion past.
“Alexia?”
Her grandmother spoke from beside her, but Lexi waved a hand at her distractedly. “Shh.” She
couldn’t take her eyes from Josh. He caught and held her gaze as he came toward them. Pushing back
her chair, she got to her feet and took a step closer.
Josh came to a halt a foot away.
She licked her lips. “How did it go with Evie?”
He smiled, his eyes crinkling. “Wonderful.”
“I’m glad. She still loves you.”
“I know. I think maybe I might be lovable after all.”
“I think so.” She glanced down at the dog. “And Toby likes you.”
“Hmm. But Toby needs a permanent home,” he said. “And he reckons my loft apartment isn’t
suitable.”
“He can come home with me.”
“I’m afraid me and Toby are a family now. Where he goes, I go.”
She sniffed. “Oh Josh. You’re always welcome in my home. For as long as you want.”
“How about forever?”
She wiped her hand over her eyes and bit her lip. “Forever sounds good to me.”
She was hardly aware of her grandmother standing and coming around the table to halt beside them.
“I think it’s about—”
She turned to her and held up a hand. “Grandmother, I love you. But if you say one nasty thing to the
man I love, I will cut you off, and you will never get another penny from me.”
“Alexia!”
“Shut up.” She turned back to Josh. “Where were we?”
He grinned. “You were offering me a forever home.”
“There is one problem though.”
“There is?”
“The offer comes with strings attached. Lots and lots of strings.”
He took a step closer, cupped her cheek with his palm. “Strings don’t scare me anymore. Not when
they tie me to you.” He lowered his head and kissed her until the room faded and everything vanished
but Josh. She pressed herself against him, breathing him in, filling her senses with him.
This was her biggest fantasy, the one she had hidden even from herself, buried in her subconscious
—the one where Josh came and claimed her for the entire world to see. Where he told her…
He drew back slightly. “I love you.” The words whispered against her skin.
She stared up into his blue eyes and saw the love there. “I love you, too.”
“Good. Now there’s one more thing.”
“There is?”
“Alexia Slater. Will you marry me? For real this time.”
“I knew the marriage was a fake,” her grandmother said. “I knew—”
Lexi whirled around. She slapped the envelope into her grandmother’s hand. “Bedtime reading,”
she said. “Now go away and don’t spoil this for me.”
“Come on, Granny,” Harry said. “Let’s leave these two love birds alone. I think you’ve lost this
particular battle.”
“She’s lost the goddamned war,” Josh growled.
Lexi waited until the others had gone then turned back to him as he reached into his pocket and
pulled out a ring.
She held out her hand, and he slid it on her finger. “I will.”
Epilogue
“With this string I thee wed?” Lexi said.
Josh grinned. “I thought it was appropriate.”
They’d exchanged vows that morning—a quiet affair, with Logan and Vito as witnesses. He’d
thought it appropriate, as they had been present at the start of it all. Evie had been there as well, and
Harry and the rest of Lexi’s household. They hadn’t sent her grandmother an invitation, though he was
sure Lexi would make an effort to heal the rift at some time. She was such a softie, and he wouldn’t
have her any other way.
Vito had offered them his villa on the island of Sicily for their honeymoon, and they’d flown out
straight after the ceremony. Josh wanted to show her where the cruise ship had sunk. Where it had all
begun.
Now they were on Vito’s yacht, and the sun was setting, turning the calm sea to crimson and
tangerine. He waved a hand into the distance. “The ship went down right there.”
“You must have been scared.”
“Not really. I do remember thinking at one point—when we nearly got cut off by the flames—that I
was going to die. Hey, you would have been a widow.”
She shuddered. “Don’t even think that.”
“Well, you have Logan to thank that you’re not. He carried me out after I broke my leg. And Vito, he
cleared the way—that’s where he got the scar. But it seemed unreal. Then later, when we were on the
lifeboat, Logan was puking everywhere, Vito was cool, and I was in too much fucking agony to be
scared.”
“So you decided you needed to get laid?”
“I made a solemn vow.”
“Really?”
“Hey, when you come face-to-face with death, apparently the need to procreate becomes the
overriding imperative.”
“Getting laid and procreating are hardly the same thing.” She studied him for a moment. “Do you
want to procreate? As in, have children?”
They’d never talked about it. He’d never even considered children before because he’d never
believed he’d ever get married for real. But here he was.
It was scary, the thought of being responsible for another human being. Far more scary than going
down on a burning ship. But he reckoned he could do it with Lexi to hold his hand.
“Yeah. I want the whole deal. We’ll probably need a bigger house.”
“I can afford it.”
“I know.”
“Does it bother you that I’m rich?”
“Not at all. You do so much good.” He took her hand stroked her palm. “So tonight, I think we need
to get in some serious practice for the baby thing.” He drew her close, tipping her head so he could
take her lips in a passionate kiss. “Tonight, I want to make all your fantasies come true.”
“You already have.”
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Acknowledgments
This series has been very close to my heart, as a couple of years I had my very own facing death
experience when I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I’m quite aware of the ways it can make you
reassess your life and think of the things you want to do before you die. It can also make you
appreciate the people closest to you—so I’d like to say a huge thank you to my husband, Rob, for
helping me through the last couple of years, and for pushing me to keep writing, keep busy, and
assisting me with drawing up my own list.
I’d also like to say thank you to everyone at Entangled Publishing, but especially my wonderful
editor, Candace Havens, for all her great comments, edits and perseverance. And finally, to all the
great women at Passionate Critters for reading my stories and letting me know what they really think.
About the Author
grew up in the north of England. After training as an accountant, she spent four years
working as a volunteer in Zambia, which left her with a love of the sun and a dislike of nine-to-five
work. She then spent a number of years mixing travel (whenever possible) with work (whenever
necessary) but has now settled down to a life of writing and picking almonds on a remote farm in the
mountains of southern Spain.
Nina writes all types of romance, often mixed with elements of the paranormal and science fiction.
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Thank you for reading!
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