Mylife’sworkhasbeendedicatedtotheforgottenartof
spokencommunicationandthepowerthattherightwords
attherighttimecanhavetoachievetherightresults.

Quiteoftenthedecisionbetweenacustomerchoosingyouover
someonelikeyoudependsonyourabilitytoknowexactlywhattosay,
whentosayitandhowtomakeitcount.

Thisbookdeliverstacticalinsightintothepowerofwordsand

providestoolstoempowersuccess-drivenindividualstogetmoreof

whattheywant.

Ifyouarelookingformorecopiesofthisbookforyourteam,

contact

[e-mail]

andlearnyouroptionsforbulk

pricingandcustomization.

Abracadabra—youareamillionaire!Thatiswhatwillhappenifyou

followtheadvicefromPhilJonesinthisbook.Readitmorethanonce
anditmeansevenmore!

JeffreyHayzlett,

primetimeTVandpodcasthost,chairmanofC-SuiteNetwork

Indeed,therightwordsspokentherightway,whileperhapsnot
actuallymagic,cansurehavetheresultsofsuch.Greatjobbythe

authorinbringingusthisveryhelpfulguide.

BobBurg,

co-authorofTheGo-Giver

IthinkPhilsaysitbesthimselfattheendofthisfabulousread:
“Everythingyouhavelearnedinthisbookissimple,easytodoand
works.”It’striedandtested,provenandguaranteedtohelpyouget

yourownwaymoreoften.

PhilipHesketh,

professionalspeakerandauthoronthepsychologyofpersuasionand

influence

Ifyouwanttogetprospects,clients,colleagues,bossesoranybodyto
say“yes”towhatyouwant,Ihavethreemagicwordsofadvicefor
you:“Getthisbook!”ExactlyWhattoSayisamust-readforeveryone

whosellsaproduct,aserviceorastoryorwantstoimpress,motivate,
engageandinfluenceothersfromtheveryfirstmoment.Itwillhelp
youtousethemostcompellingphrases,toasktherightquestionsat
therightmoment,andtoeliminatethewrongwordsfromyour
personalandprofessionalvocabulary.

SylviediGiusto,

keynotespeakerandcorporateimageconsultant

Thisbookispackedwithideasandeasy-to-implementsuggestions
thatwillassistanyindividualinobtainingtheoutcomestheyrequire

fromtheconversationstheyhave.

GrantLeboff,

CEO,

StickyMarketing.com

ImplementingPhil’ssimpleyetpowerfulMagicWordshasbeen
integraltothegrowthofournow–£20millionbusinessoverthelast

fewyears.InExactlyWhattoSay,Philhasdeliveredabookpackedfull

ofreal-worldsolutionsthatwillleadyoutoachievingtheoutcomes

youdesireinlifeandbusiness.

RichardDixon,

director,Holidaysplease

Theworsttimetothinkofthebestthingtosayisalwayswhenyou’re
actuallysayingit!I’velongbeenaloverandstudentofgreatpower

scripts,killerquestionsandmagicalphrasesthatopendoorsandclose
sales.Andthere’snobodybetterthanPhilJonesatfindingthat
perfectkeythatwillunlockarangeofsituations.Ifyouwanttosell
moreandinfluencebetterandtakemuchlesstimedoingit,thenthis
bookisascloseasyou’llgettoamagicwandorsilverbulletto

success!

RobBrown,

founderoftheNetworkingCoachingAcademyandbestsellingauthorofBuild

YourReputation

PhilJoneshelpsuncoverthetruthincomplexsellingsituations.These
powerfulphrasesdemonstratehowtoinfluenceotherswithintegrity
whileneverseemingpushy.You’llusethesegemseachandeveryday.

IanAltman,

co-authorofSameSideSelling,Forbes.comcolumnist

Ifyouwanttobemoreinfluentialineverysituation,youneedto
masterthesimpleyetpowerfullessonscontainedwithin.Exactly
WhattoSaycouldreplacejustabouteveryotherbookonhuman

behavior—it’sthatuseful.

JohnJantsch,

authorofDuctTapeMarketing

Haveyoueverconsideredwhyahorsecanwinaraceandgetten
timestheearnings?Wasthewinnertentimesbetterthanthesecond-

placehorse?Hardly;sheonlywonbyanose.Thesameappliestosales

andmarketing.Whatmakesthewinnerawinnerisaconceptcalled

“thewinningedge.”Oneofmyearlymentorsdrilleditintomethat
“everythingyoudoeitherenhancesordetractsfromyourabilityto
closethesale.Nodetail,howeverminute,isneutral.”ThisiswhyIlove

PhilJones’sbookExactlyWhattoSay.Inthisshortbutpower-packed
book,heshareshowtousecertainkeyphrasestohelpyouwiththe

winningedge.Thereisnodoubtwordsmatteragreatdealinany
marketingandsalessituation,somakesureyouhaveyourMagic

Words.

BryanEisenberg,

NewYorkTimesbestsellingauthorofWaitingforYourCattoBark?and

BeLikeAmazon

ExactlyWhattoSayisamasterclassintheartofinfluence,persuasion
andgeneratingtop-producingbusinessresults.Thisisamust-readfor
anyonelookingtobemorepersuasiveintheirbusinessandpersonal
lives.

SethPrice,

bestsellingauthorofTheRoadtoRecognition

EXACTLY
WHAT
TOSAY

Copyright©2017byPhilM.Jones

Allrightsreserved.Nopartofthisbookmaybereproduced,storedinaretrievalsystemor
transmitted,inanyformorbyanymeans,withoutthepriorwrittenconsentofthepublisher,
exceptinthecaseofbriefquotations,embodiedinreviewsandarticles.

BoxofTricks
Hoboken,NJ

www.philmjones.com

ISBN978-0-692-88195-8(paperback)
ISBN978-0-692-88196-5(ebook)

ProducedbyPageTwo

www.pagetwostrategies.com

EditingbyJennyGovier
CoverandtextdesignbyPeterCocking
EbookbyBrightWingBooks(

www.brightwing.ca

)

Theworsttimetothinkaboutthethingyouare

goingtosayisinthemomentyouaresayingit.

Thisbookpreparesyoufornearlyeveryknown

eventualityandprovidesyouwithafairadvantagein

almosteveryconversation.

Contents

OpeningWords

1.I’mNotSureIfIt’sforYou,But

2.Open-Minded
3.WhatDoYouKnow?
4.HowWouldYouFeelIf?

5.JustImagine
6.WhenWouldBeaGoodTime?

7.I’mGuessingYouHaven’tGotAroundTo
8.SimpleSwaps
9.YouHaveThreeOptions
10.TwoTypesofPeople
11.IBetYou’reaBitLikeMe
12.If...Then

13.Don’tWorry
14.MostPeople
15.TheGoodNews
16.WhatHappensNext

17.WhatMakesYouSayThat?
18.BeforeYouMakeYourMindUp
19.IfICan,WillYou?
20.Enough
21.JustOneMoreThing

22.AFavor
23.JustOutofCuriosity

FinalThought
Acknowledgements

AbouttheAuthor

OpeningWords

Iamguessingthatyoupickedthisbookupforoneofa

numberofreasons.

Perhapsyouareanexperiencedsalesprofessionallookingtosharpen
yourskills,maybeyourunabusinessandarelookingtogetyourway

moreoftenorperhapsyoulikedthebeautifullydesignedcoverand
feltobligedtotakealookinside.OnethingIamcertainof,though,is

thatyourgettingeventhisfarinthebooktellsmethatyouareopen-
mindedaboutchangeandareseriousaboutyourpersonalsuccess.

Throughoutmystudiesofpeople,humanrelationshipsand
businessinteractions,Ihavebeenamazedbyhowsome
peopleachievedramaticallydifferentresultsthanothers
withwhatseemtobetheexactsameingredients.

Inbusinessesinwhichpeoplehaveidenticalproductsandresources,
somepeoplestruggletofindcustomers,andyetotherscannotstop
findingmoresuccess.Despitetheirdifferencesinattitudeand
endeavor,thesesuccessfulpeople,Ihavelearned,haveonethingin
common:theyknowexactlywhattosay,howtosayitandhowto

makeitcount.

Thisrealizationhashadmefascinatedwiththedifferenceasubtle

changeofwordscanmaketotheoutcomeofawholeconversation,
andithasfueledmystudyoftheprecisetriggersthatcauseashiftin

aperson’sbeliefsystem.

Backin2012,IpublishedatinybookcalledMagicWords,following

thewordsIfeatureheavilyinmytrainingandspeeches.ItisabookI

amreallyproudof,andnotjustbecausethislittlebookmademany

bestsellerlists.Moreimportantly,thepeoplewhoboughtitactually

wentontoreadit,usewhattheylearnedandgetgreatresultsfrom
employingsimplechangesintheirwordchoices.

LetmeexplainalittleaboutwhattheseMagicWordsare.

MagicWordsaresetsofwordsthattalkstraighttothe

subconsciousbrain.Thesubconsciousbrainisapowerfultoolin

decision-makingbecauseitispreprogrammedthroughour
conditioningtomakedecisionswithoutoveranalyzingthem.Itworksa

littlelikeacomputer—ithasonly“yes”and“no”outputsandcannever

landona“maybe.”Itisstronganddecisiveandmovesquickly.Using
wordsthattalkstraighttothepartofthebrainthatisfreefrom
maybesandrespondsonreflexgivesyouafairadvantagein
conversationandcanresultinyougettingyourownwaymoreoften.

EXAMPLES

Ifyouarelookingforexamplesofwhereyoursubconscioushas

servedyou,herearesomesimpleones:

Controllingyourbreathingwhileyousleep.

Assistingyourroutineonafamiliarjourney.

Allowingyourattentiontobeimmediatelydrawntoanythingthat
resemblesyourname.

Weallrelyonoursubconsciousbraindailytogetusthrough
everythingthathappenswithoutushavingtoprocess,computeand

takecareofeverydecisionallbyourselves.

Inthisbook,IrevisitsomeofthoseMagicWords,addsomenew

onesandprovideyouwithpreciseexamplestoshowyouhowtoapply
themtoyourconversations.IdoallIcantohelpyouunderstandthe
principlesbehindthechosenwordsandallowyoutofindgreater

applicationfortheminyourlife.

Thesewordsaretried,testedandproventodeliverresultswhen

appliedproperly.ThisbookisaboutfarmorethanjustMagicWords,
however.Asyouworkthrougheachsection,youwillreceivepowerful

insightintowhatmakespeopletickandlearnhowsimplechangesyou

canapplyinstantlycanmakeyourlifesomucheasier.Yes,theadvice
isaimedatincreasingyourbusinesssuccess,buteveryprinciple
discussediseasilytransferableintoanyindustryandeveryareaoflife,
tohelpyoubecomemorepersuasiveandinfluentialandhaveabigger
impactinallthatyoudo.

Myadviceistohaveanotebookandpenwithyouwhenyouread.

Looktocreateyourownexamplesasyouworkthrougheachsection.
Thenmakethedecisiontotrythemforyourselfassoonaspossible,
gettingmorecomfortableandconfidenteachtimeyoudo.Everything
Isharemaysoundsimple,butsimpledoesnotnecessarilymeaneasy.

Getcomfortablebeinguncomfortable.Iamexcitedtohearaboutyour
results,sopleaseconnectwithmeonyourchosensocialplatformand
shareyourexperiencesofbecomingamoreskilleddecisioncatalyst,
ensuringmoreofyourconversationsreallycount.

1

I’mNotSureIfIt’sforYou,But

OneofthemostcommonreasonsIhearfrompeopleas

towhytheyfailtointroducetheiridea,productor

servicetoothersisthefactthattheyarefearfulofthe

rejectiontheymightreceive.

ItwasforthisreasonthatIfiguredthebestplacetostartis
withasetofMagicWordsyoucanusetointroduce
somethingtojustaboutanybody,atjustaboutanypointin
time,thatiscompletelyrejection-free.Thewordsin
questionare,“I’mnotsureifit’sforyou,but...”

Let’stakeamomenttounderstandhowthissimplestructureworks.

Openingastatementwiththewords,“I’mnotsureifit’sforyou,”

causesthelistener’ssubconsciousbraintohear,“There’snopressure
here.”Bysuggestingthattheymaynotbeinterested,younaturally
increasetheirintrigue.Theywonderwhat“it”is,andthisspikein

curiosityhooksthem.What’smore,itfiresaninternaldriverthattells
themadecisionneedstobemade,andthesoftapproachensuresthis
decisionfeelsunpressuredandinternal.

Therealmagic,though,isdeliveredthroughthefinalthree-letter

wordofthissequence,awordthattypicallyshouldbeavoidedinall

conversations:theword“but.”

Imaginereceivingacommentfromyouremployerthatstartedwith

thewords,“Youknowthatyou’reareallyvaluablememberofthe

team.Weloveeverythingthatyoudohere,butsomethingsneedto

change.”What’stheonlypartyouwouldremember?Iamguessingthe

partthatyouwouldfocusonmostiseverythingthatfollows“but.”
Theword“but”negateseverythingthatwassaidprior,sowhenyou
saytosomebody,“I’mnotsureifit’sforyou,but...,”whatthelittle

voiceinsideyourlistener’sheadhearsis,“Youmightwanttolookat
this.”

Whenyousaytosomebody,“I’mnotsureifit’s

foryou,but...,”

thelittlevoiceinsideyour

listener’sheadhears,“Youmightwanttolookat

this.”

EXAMPLES

Hereareafewexamplestohelpyouinyourdailyroutine:

I’mnotsureifit’sforyou,butwouldyouhappentoknowsomeone
whoisinterestedin(inserttheresultsofyourproductorservice)?

I’mnotsureifit’sforyou,butwehaveplansonSaturday,andyou’re

welcometojoinus.

I’mnotsureifit’sforyou,butthisoptionisavailableforthismonth

only,andIwouldhateforyoutomissout.

Thisrejection-freeapproachcreatesasimpleoutcome.
Oneoftwothingshappens:yourlistenerleansinand

asksformoreinformationbecausetheyarepersonally

interested,or,inthevery,veryworst-casescenario,

theysaytheywillgiveitsomethought.

2

Open-Minded

Ifyouweretoaskaroomofathousandpeoplewhether

theyconsideredthemselvesopen-minded,Iamsure

overninehundredofthemwouldraisetheirhands.

Justabouteverybodyinthelandthinksofthemselvesas
meetingthiscriterion,andit’sprettyeasytounderstand
why.

Whenthealternativeisbeingconsidered“closed-minded,”this
perceptionofchoiceisalmostguaranteedtosteerotherstoward
youridea.Knowingthatpeopleliketoseethemselvesasopen-

minded,youcaneasilygiveyourselfafairadvantagewithinyour
conversations.Whenintroducingabrand-newideatoastranger,
friend,prospectorteammember,usingthewords,“Howopen-
mindedareyou?”andfollowingupthatsentencewithascenarioyou
wantthemtooptintoallowsyoutonaturallyattractpeopletoward

theverythingthatyouarelookingfortheirsupportwith.Thispreface
shiftsyoufromhavingfifty-fiftyoddsofthemagreeingwithyouto
oddsofninety-teninyourfavor.Everybodywantstobeopen-minded.

EXAMPLES

Hereareafewexamplesofthewordsinpractice:

Howopen-mindedwouldyoubeabouttryingthisasanalternative?

Wouldyoubeopen-mindedaboutgivingthisachance?

Howopen-mindedareyouaboutincreasingyourmonthlyincome?

Wouldyoubeopen-mindedaboutseeingifwecouldworktogether?

Eachoftheseoptionsmakesitverydifficultfortheotherpersonto
rejectyouridea,anditatleastmakesthemfeelobligatedtoexplore

thepossibility.Itseemslikeyouaregivingthemachoice,whenreally
youareheavilyweightingtheonlyoptionyouaregivingthem.Put
simply,“Howopen-mindedareyouaboutatleasttryingit?”

Whenintroducinganewidea,startwith,“How

open-mindedareyou?”

Thiswillnaturallyattract

peopletowardtheverythingthatyou’dlike

themtosupport.Everybodywantstobeopen-

minded.

3

WhatDoYouKnow?

Howoftendoyoufindyourselfinaconversationthat

quicklybecomesadebatebecauseyouarespeaking

withsomeonewhothinkstheyknowbestandperhaps

evenwishestolectureyouwiththeiropinions?

Toinfluenceothers,youmustbeawareofhowtocontrola
conversation.Onewayofregainingcontrolistomovethe
otherperson’spositionfromoneofcertaintytooneof
doubt.

Typicallypeopletrytocreatethispositionofuncertaintythrough
directlychallengingtheotherperson’sopinionandperhapseven

enteringintoanargument.Iamsureyouhavehadmomentswhenyou
havebeenfrustratedbysomeone’sinabilitytounderstandwhatyou
aresayingandflusteredthatyoucannotovercometheir
preconceptions.Thiscanhappenregularlywhenyouaretryingto
introducenewideasorconcepts,andthe“Iknowbest”mentalityof

manypeoplecanbedifficulttoovercome.

Thebestwaytoovercomethe“Iknowbest”

mentalityofmanypeopleisto

questionthe

knowledgeonwhichtheotherperson’sopinion

wasfounded.

Iamcertainthatyouwanttostoppeoplefromarguingwithyou,so

thissituationcouldregularlyresultinyoubackingdownorwalking
away.Foranopiniontohavemerit,however,itreallyshouldbe

foundedonsomeformofknowledge.Thebestwaytoovercomethis
kindofconflictisnottowintheargument;instead,youmustquestion
theknowledgeonwhichtheotherperson’sopinionwasfounded.The

goalistoturnthesituationintooneinwhichtheotherpersonadmits
thattheiropinionwasbasedoninsufficientevidence,whileretaining
theabilityforthemtosavefaceintheconversation.Itisthepowerin

thepreface,“Whatdoyouknowabout...?”thatsoftlythreatenstheir
knowledgebaseandforcesthemtosharethereferenceonwhich
theirargumentisbased.Oftenthisresultsinthemrealizingtheir
strongopinionwasunfounded.

EXAMPLES

Examplesyoucoulduseintherealworldare...

Whatdoyouknowaboutus,ourbusinessandthewaywedothings
differently?

Whatdoyouknowabouteverythingthathaschangedsince(insert
event)?

Whatdoyouknowabouthowthingsreallyworkhere?

Whatdoyouknowaboutthebenefitsof(insertproductsector)?

Thesequestionsallowtheotherpersontorealizetheir

opinionisperhapsnotcorrect,andtheycanquickly

becomefarmorereceptivetochange.

Theworstthatcanhappenisthatyoulearntheprecisebasisoftheir
argumentandcanthenpositionyourpointincontrasttoit.Usewords

likethistochallengeotherswithconfidenceandavoidargumentsthat
alwaysendwithloserssince,regardlessofwhotheloseris,youare

unlikelytoleavewithyourdesiredresult.Eithereverybodywins,or
everybodyloses.

4

HowWouldYouFeelIf?

Awordthatgetsthrownaroundlikeconfettiin

conferencesis“motivation,”yetstill,whenIaskmy

audiencestosharewithmewhatthewordmeans,allI

seeinresponseareblankfaces.

Itisthemeaningofthiswordthatcreatesthetruebasefor
understand-ingallareasofnegotiation,influenceand
persuasion,andyoushouldexploreitfurtherifyouwould
liketoperformatyourpeak.

Putsimply,understandingthiswordwouldmeanthatyoucould
probablygetjustaboutanybodytodojustaboutanything.

Thewordmotivationderivesfromtwoverycommonwordsforced

together.Thefirstpartoftheword,the“motiv-”part,isderivedfrom
theLatinword“motivus,”themodern-daytranslationofwhichis
“motive.”Anotherwordformotiveis“reason.”The“-ation”partofthe
wordderivesfrom“action,”andifsomebodyisgoingtotakeaction,

theyaregoingtodosomethingormove.Thismeansthatavery
simpledefinitionofmotivationis“areasontomove”or“areasonto
do.”

Nowaskyourselfthis:woulditbefairtosaythatifthereasonwere

bigenough,youcouldgetjustaboutanybodytodojustabout

anything?

Ifyouwantpeopletodothingsthattypicallytheydonotwanttodo,

firstyouneedtofindanhonestreasonthatisbigenough.

Understandingwhatreasonsarebigenoughmeansyouhaveto

understandhowpeoplearemotivated.Peoplearemotivatedbyone
oftwothings:eitheravoidingalossoracquiringapotentialgain.They
eitherwanttogotowardthelight,thegoodthingthattheyare

lookingfor,ortheywanttogetawayfromthethingthatcould
potentiallyhurtthem.Therealworldtellsusthatpeoplewillworkfar

hardertoavoidapotentiallossthantheywilltoachieveapotential
gain.Greaterthanthatisthefactthatthemorecontrastyoucan

createbetweenwheresomebodydoesnotwanttobeandwherethey

hopetobe,themorelikelyyouaretogetpeopletomove.
Understandingthetruthofmotivation,coupledwiththisnextpoint,
givesyourealcontextforthissetofMagicWords.

Thesecondthingyoumustconsideriswhetherpeoplebasetheir

decisionsonemotionorlogic.Thetrueanswertothatquestionis,in

fact,both;itisjustthatthedecisionisalwaysmadeforemotive
reasonsfirst.

Therealworldtellsusthatpeoplewillworkfar

hardertoavoidapotentialloss

thantheywillto

achieveapotentialgain.

Somethinghastofeelrightbeforeitevermakessense.Iamsure

youhavesteppedawayfromaconversationconfusedaboutwhythe
otherpersondidnotfollowyouradviceandhavewondered,“Idon’t

knowwhytheydon’tdoit.Itjustmakessenseforthemtodoit.”Ifyou

aretryingtowintheargumentbasedonyouradvicemakingsense,

youarecallingouttothewrongsetofreasons.Peoplemakedecisions

basedonwhatfeelsrightfirst.Ifyoucanmakeitfeelright,therestis

easy.

Understandingthosetwocomplextheoriesisthefoundationfor

thissetofMagicWords,anditisallbroughttogetherinaprefacetoa

question.Byintroducingafuturescenariowiththewords,“How
wouldyoufeelif...?”youallowtheotherpersontotimetraveltothat

momentandimaginetheemotionsthatwouldbetriggeredatthat
point.Choosingmomentsthattriggerbothpositiveandnegative

emotionswillallowyoutocreateatruthworthchangingfor.Itwill

alsoprepareotherstoacceptyourideasonhowtohelpthemachieve
successoravoidloss.Whatyouthencreateisaconditionalfuture-
facingscenario,somethingtheycanseeforthemselves.

EXAMPLES

Examplesmightbesomethinglike...

Howwouldyoufeelifthisdecisionledtoyourpromotion?

Howwouldyoufeelifyourcompetitionpassedyou?

Howwouldyoufeelifyouturnedthisaround?

Howwouldyoufeelifyoulosteverything?

Whataboutthisone:howwouldyoufeelifthistimenextyearyou
weredebt-free,livinginyourdreamhomeandplanningyournext

vacation?

Creatingtheseconditionalfuturescenariosusingthewords,“How

wouldyoufeelif...?”getspeopleexcitedabouttheirfutureandgives
themareasontomoveeithertowardthegoodnewsorawayfrom
thebadnews.Remember,thegreaterthecontrast,themorelikely

youaretogetthatsomeonetomove.

5

JustImagine

Didyouknowthateverydecisionanyhumanmakesis

madeatleasttwice?Thedecisionisfirstmadeinyour

mindhypotheticallybeforeitisevermadeinreality.

Infact,foradecisiontocometrue,youmusthavefirstat
leastimaginedyourselfdoingit.Haveyoueverbeenina
situationinwhichyouhavesaid,orevenjustmouthed,
thesewordsbacktosomebodyelse:“Ijustcouldn’tsee
myselfdoingthat”?

Itisaliteralthing.Ifyoucannotseeyourselfdoingsomething,the
chancesofyoudoingitareslimtonone.Peoplemakedecisionsbased
ontheimagestheyseeintheirminds,soifyoucanplacepicturesin
people’sminds,thenyoucanusetheresultsofthoseimagesto
influencetheirdecisions.

Creatingpicturesinthemindsofothersisdonebytellingstories.

Werememberaschildrenmanyagoodstorythatstartedwiththe
words,“Onceuponatime...”Whenweheardthosewords,weknewit
wastimetokickback,enjoythemomentandembraceour

imaginationwhilesomeoneusedwordstopaintaworldforustojump
into.Itwouldbereallytoughtoengageadultswiththatsame
powerfulpreface,soyouneedsomeMagicWordsthatcreatethe

samepicturesqueoutcome.Whenyouhearthewords,“Justimagine,”

thesubconsciousbrainkicksaswitchandopensuptheimageviewer,
anditcannothelpbutpicturetheveryscenarioyouarecreating.

Intheprevioussectionyoulearnedaboutawaymotivationand

towardmotivation.Youcanapplythosesameexactrulestohowyou

finishoffyour“justimagine”scenariostohelpdrivepeopletodothe
thingsyouwouldlikethemtodo.

EXAMPLES

Herearesomeexamples:

Justimaginehowthingswillbeinsixmonths’timeonceyouhave

implementedthis.

Justimaginewhatyourbosswouldsayifyoumissedthisopportunity.

Justimaginethelookonyourkids’faceswhentheyseeyouachieve

this.

Justimaginetheimpactthiscouldhave.

Allowingthepowerattachedtotheotherperson’screativemindto
buildyourcaseforyouwillalwayssaveyouguessingandcancreatea

morevividrealitythananythingyoucouldpossiblydescribe.Letthem
dothehardwork.Imaginesayingtoateammemberorprospect,
“Justimaginethesmilesonyourkids’faceswhenyoutellthemyou’ve
bookedatriptoDisneyland,”or,“Justimaginesteppinguponstage
andpickingupthatbigincentivecheck,”or,“Justimaginepullinginto

thedrivewayinyourbrand-newcar.”Asyoumakethosestatements,

theywillseethepictureofthatverythinghappening.Nowthatthey
haveseenthething,chancesaretheirbeliefinachievingitgoes

throughtheroof.Imean,justimaginethedifferencethatisgoingto

haveforyouandyourbusiness.

Creatingpicturesinthemindsofothersisdone

bytellingstories.

Whenyouhear“Justimagine,”

thebrainpicturestheveryscenarioyouare

creating.

6

WhenWouldBeaGoodTime?

Thissimplesetofwordshelpsusovercomeoneofthe

biggestchallengesyoufacewhentryingtogetpeople

totakeaseriouslookatyourproduct,serviceoridea.

Oneofthebiggestreasonsyourideasfailtogetheardisthat
otherstellyouthattheyjustdon’thavethetimetoconsider
them.

Byusingthepreface,“Whenwouldbeagoodtimeto...?”youprompt
theotherpersontosubconsciouslyassumethattherewillbeagood
timeandthatnoisnotanoption.Thisassumptionacknowledgesthat

therewillbeatimewhenthiscandefinitelyfitintotheirscheduleand
thatitisjustacaseofconfirmingthespecifictimeanddate.Itisthis
kindofdirectquestionthatpreventspeoplefromtellingyouthatthey
havenotgotthetimeand,asaresult,helpsyouavoidoneofthe
biggestobjectionspeopleface.

EXAMPLES

Examplesforyoutouseinclude...

Whenwouldbeagoodtimeforyoutotakeaproperlookatthis?

Whenwouldbeagoodtimetogetstarted?

Whenwouldbeagoodtimetospeaknext?

Inallofthesescenarios,pleasebecertainthatwhenyougainareply,
youworktoscheduletheprecisenextpointofcontactinorderto

keepcontroloftheconversationinyourhands.

Whenyoudogetaroundtofollowinguporspeakingagainatthe

agreedtime,pleasedonotaskthemwhattheythoughtaboutwhat
youaskedthemtolookat.Thismakesiteasyforthemtotalkbad

newsorbringuptheirconcerns.Instead,swapthatquestionwith,“So,
whatdoyoulikeaboutit?”andwatchthemlistthegood-news
reasonsinstead.

Thepreface“Whenwouldbeagoodtimeto...?”

promptstheotherperson

toassumethatthere

willbeagoodtimeandthatnoisnotanoption.

7

I’mGuessingYouHaven’tGotAroundTo

Stickingtothethemeoffollowingupwithpeople,I

thoughtI’dsharesomewordsthatyoucanuseinthose

scenariosinwhichyouarefearfulofcontactingthe

otherpersonbecauseyouthinktheyhavenotdonethe

thingyouwouldlikethemtodo.

Youknowthetimeswhenyouhavesentoversomedetails
ortheyhavesaidtheyneededtoconsultwithsomeoneelse,
andnowyouneedtomakecontacttotakethenextstep?

Whenyouarefearfulthatsomebodyhasnotdonesomething,instead
ofaskingthemhowthatthingwent,youmaywanttostartthe
conversationslightlydifferently.

Opentheconversationbyallowingtheotherpersontosaveface,

butalsobypreventingthemfromusinganyoftheexcusesyouthink
theymightuse.Thisleavesthemwithnowheretogointhe
conversationotherthanwhereyouwouldlikethemtogo.Thereason
theycannotusetheexcusesisbecauseyouhavebeenboldenoughto

starttheconversationinawaythatsuggeststheywereabouttouse
theveryexcusetheyhadprepared:byprefacingyourquestionwith,
“I’mguessingyouhaven’tgotaroundto...”

Imagineyouaremakingatelephonecalltosomeone
whosaidtheyneededtoconsultwiththeirpartner

beforemakingadecision.

Ifyouask,“I’mguessingyouhaven’tgotaroundtospeakingtoyour

partneryet?”itnowbecomesimpossibleforthemtousethatexcuse.
Theyrespondinoneoftwoways:eithertheyfeelproudthatthey
havedonewhattheyhadpromised,ortheyareembarrassedthatthey

haven’tandmakeanewpromisetoputrightthatfact.

EXAMPLES

Otherexamplescouldbe...

I’mguessingyouhaven’tgotaroundtolookingoverthedocuments
yet?

I’mguessingyouhaven’tgotaroundtosettingadateyet?

I’mguessingyouhaven’tgotaroundtomakingadecisionyet?

Bypushingforthenegativescenario,youget

peopletorisetothepositive

ortotellyouhow

theyaregoingtofixthethingtheysaidtheywere

goingtodo.

Byusingthewordsyouarefearfultheymaygiveyoubackinthe

otherdirection,youcreateascenariothatcompletelydisarmsthem.If

yousaytosomebody,“I’mguessingyouhaven’tgotaroundtomaking

adecisiononthisyet,”andtheysay,“No,you’reright.We’restill

thinkingaboutit,”youcanopenupthenegotiation.If,instead,they
say,“No,wehave,andwe’vemadeadecision,”youcansay,“Great,
whenarewereadytogetstarted?”

Bypushingforthenegativescenario,yougetthemtorisetothe

positiveortotellyouhowtheyaregoingtofixthethingtheysaid

theyweregoingtodo,becausemostpeoplearepeopleoftheirword
andfeelprettybadwhentheyarecalledoutforit.

8

SimpleSwaps

Usingasimpletechnique,Iamgoingtoprovidetwo

piecesofmagicinoneshortsection.Thepsychology

behindthistechnique,whichinvolvesturninganopen

questionintoaclosedone,resultsinyoureceivinga

guaranteedoutcomeoranswer.

Itcametome,firstofall,fromtryingtopreventagiant
mistakeIseesomanypeoplemakewhentheyreachtheend
ofasalespresentation.

Followingmanyapresentation,thequestionpeoplereachforis,“Do
youhaveanyquestions?”Askingthiscreatesthesubconscious
suggestionthattheotherpersonshouldhavequestions,andifthey
don’t,itmakesthemfeelpeculiarandperhapsevenalittlestupid.This

encouragesthemtoleavethedecision-makingconversationandgo
awaytothinkaboutit.

Asimplechangeofwordingputsyouincontrol.

Swapthephrase,“Doyouhaveanyquestions?”

withtheimproved,“Whatquestionsdoyouhave

forme?”

Asimplechangeofwordingmovesthisfromoutofyourcontrolto

completelyinyourcontrol.Swapthephrase,“Doyouhaveany
questions?”withtheimproved,“Whatquestionsdoyouhaveforme?”

Theminuteyouassumeanoutcome,theeasiestresponseforthemto
giveisthattheyhavenoquestions.Whatdoesthisreallymean?It
meanstheyhavemadeadecisionandyouareperfectlypositionedto

askforit.Thischangeofwordingtypicallyresultsinyougainingthat
responseorinthespecificquestionstheyneedanswersto.

Eitherway,youarefarclosertoadecision,andyou

avoidthedreaded,“Ineedsometimetothinkaboutit.”

Thatwasthefirstsimplelesson,butIpromisedtwoforoneinthis

section.Thisnextchangeissosimpleandsoprofound,itworks

whetherspoken,written,bytextmessage...itworkseverywhere.It’s
bestusedwhenyouarelookingtogarneranadditionalpieceof
informationfromtheotherpersonandyouwantiteffortlessly.
Considerascenarioinwhichyouhavemetsomeoneandwouldliketo

haveaconversationwiththematalatertime.Amistakemanypeople
makeisasking,“CanIhaveyourphonenumber?”Whenyouask
somebody,“CanIhaveyour...?”itcreatesapermission-based
resistanceintheotherperson,whichmakesithardertogetwhatyou
hopedfor,sincea“yes”or“no”responseisrequired.Itcanbeseenas

aninvasionofprivacy.Instead,askingthealternativequestion,“What’s
thebestnumbertocontactyouat?”resultsinpeopleeffortlessly

givingyoutheinformationyourequested.

BothofthesesetsofMagicWordsdemonstratehowchanginga

coupleofwordscanmakeallthedifferenceintheresultsyouget

fromyourconversations.

Changingacoupleofwordscanmakeallthe

difference

intheresultsyougetfromyour

conversations.

9

YouHaveThreeOptions

Peoplehatetofeelmanipu-latedandnearlyalways

wanttofeelliketheymadethefinaldecision.When

someoneneedshelpdeciding,usingthesewordscan

helpnarrowtheirgaze,reducetheirchoicesandmakeit

easierforthemtopick.

Thewords,“AsIseeit,youhavethreeoptions,”helpthe
otherpersonthroughthedecision-makingprocessand
allowyoutoappearimpartialindoingso.

Youaresimplypresentingthemwiththeiroptions,yetyounowhave
theopportunitytodisplaytheminawaythatfavorsyourpreferred
choice.Therhythmofthreemakesforeasylisteningfortheother
person,andbyleavingyourpreferredchoiceuntiltheend,youeasily

buildthevalueofthatoptionandloadthechoicessoyourpreferred
outcomestandsoutasaclearfavorite.

Forsure,wecouldplaywithseveralexamples.Infact,wecould

probablythinkofdozensthatrelatetoyourlife,buthere’sonetohelp

yourthinking.

EXAMPLE

Imagineyouarelookingforsomeonetojoinyourbusinessor
organizationandtheyareonthefenceaboutit.Startbymakinga

statementthatsetsthesceneforthereal-lifescenario.That

statementmightrunsomethinglikethis:

“So,youarecurrentlyinajobthatyoukindofhate.You’renot

enjoyingitsomuch,thehoursarelong,it’skeepingyouawayfrom
yourfamilyandthemoneyisnowherenearwhatyouwouldlikeitto

be.Wehaveshownyouabusinessopportunityandyoulikeit,yetyou
arenotsureexactlywhattodo.

“AsIseeit,youhavethreeoptions.First,youcouldlookforanother

job,workonyourrésumé,sendoutapplications,gothrough

interviewsandworkthroughthatentireprocesstoperhapsfind

anotheremployerofferingasimilarpackageandmorethanlikely
expectingthesamekindofworkforthesamereturn.Second,you
coulddoabsolutelynothing,stayexactlywhereyouarerightnow,
acceptthatyourcurrentcircumstancesareasgoodasitgetsandjust
suckitup.Orthird,youcouldgivethisatry,workitalongsidewhat

you’redoingrightnowandseehowfaryougo.

“Ofthosethreeoptions,what’sgoingtobeeasierfor
you?”FinishingwithanothersetofMagicWordsmeans

theyhavetopickoneofthoseoptions.

“What’sgoingtobeeasierforyou?”meansthatthelaboriousnew-job

optionisoffthetable.Sincestayingputwasalreadyoffthetable,the
onlyoptiontheyhaveleftistheeasyone—theoneyouwantthemto
pick;theoneyoulefttotheendandstackedinyourfavorbecause
youmadethatthepathofleastresistance.So,startwith,“Youhave

threeoptions,”finishwith,“What’sgoingtobeeasierforyou?”and

watchpeopleeffortlesslypickthechoicethatpreviouslytheywere

findingsodifficulttomake.

10

TwoTypesofPeople

Asentrepreneurs,salesprofessionalsandbusiness

owners,weareoftentaskedwiththeresponsibilityof

helpingpeopletomaketheirmindsup.

Tome,theprimaryjobdescriptionofallsalesprofessionals
istobe“decisioncatalysts”inthelivesoftheircustomers
andprospects,yetstillthejobcanbemoresimplydescribed
as“professionalmind-maker-upper.”

Therearemanypeoplewhodoagreatjobofgettingpeople
interestedinsomething,yetitisthefinalmomentofhelpingpeopleto

decidethatcreatestheactionthatdrivesresults.Thatisthetough
part.

Helppeopletochoosebyremovingsomeofthechoicesand

creatingeasyoptions.Decisionsbecomeeasierwhenthechoicesare

polarizing.Redorwhitewine,beachorskivacation,rom-comor
action—allbecomesimplerdecisionsthanthebroaderalternative.
Yourgoalistocreateastatementthatpresentschoiceandthento
allowtheotherpersontopick.

Askingpeopletodecideforthemselveswhotheyarewiththe

MagicWords“twotypesofpeople”promptsanear-instantdecision.
Thesecondsomeonehears,“Therearetwotypesofpeopleinthis

world,”thelittlevoiceintheirheadimmediatelywonderswhichone
theyare,andtheywaitwithbatedbreathtohearthechoices.

EXAMPLES

Nowyourroleistodeliverthemtwochoicesandmakeoneofthem
standoutastheeasyoption.Herearejustafewexamples:

Therearetwotypesofpeopleinthisworld:thosewholeavetheir
personalfinancialsuccessinthehandsoftheiremployersandthose

whotakefullresponsibilityandbuildtheirownfutures.

Therearetwotypesofpeopleinthisworld:thosewhojudge
somethingbeforetheyhaveeventrieditandthosewhoareprepared
totrysomethingandbasetheiropinionontheirownexperience.

Therearetwotypesofpeopleinthisworld:thosewhoresistchange

infavorofnostalgiaandthosewhomovewiththetimesandcreatea
betterfuture.

Youshouldbeabletoseethepatternintheexamplesandunderstand

howtheoptionsareclearlystackedinfavorofthedecisionyouwould
likethemtopick.

Somethingforyoutothinkaboutasareaderisthat

therearetwotypesofpeopleinthisworld:thosewho

readbookslikethisanddonothingandthosewhoput

whattheyreadintopracticeandenjoyimmediate
results.

11

IBetYou’reaBitLikeMe

Thissetofwordsispossiblyoneofmyfavorites

becauseitcanhelpjustaboutanybodyagreetojust

aboutanything.Itisevenmorepowerfulina

conversationwithastrangerthanitiswithsomebody

youalreadyknow.

Whenyouaretalkingtoastranger,theconversationneeds
tomoveeasily,whichmeansittypicallyfollowsthepathof
leastresistance.

Ifyouusethisprefaceaheadofascenarioyouwouldlikepeopleto
believetobetrue,expectthemtoagreewithyouwholeheartedly,
quicklyandeasily.PrefacingastatementwiththeMagicWords,“Ibet
you’reabitlikeme,”quiteoftenresultsintheotherperson

comfortablyagreeingwithwhatyouaresaying,providingthatyouare
reasonable.

Thisservesasawonderfultooltohelpgatherevidencetousein

buildingyourlaterrecommendations.Myexperiencehastaughtme

thatmanycustomers,prospectsandpeopleingeneralarenotalways
completelyhonest.Gettingthemtoprovideevidencethatsupports
yourobjectivemakesitharderforthemtodisagreewithyou.Youcan

usethissetofwordstohelpavoidmanycommonobjectionsby

gainingfullagreementwithsomethingtheymayotherwisehavetried
touseasafutureexcuse.

EXAMPLES

Imagineyouarefearfulofsomeoneobjectingtoyourideabecause
theydon’thavethetimetocommittoit.Earlyintheconversationyou

couldsaysomethinglike...

Ibetyou’reabitlikeme:youenjoyworkinghardnow,knowingthatit

willpaydividendsinthefuture.

Ibetyou’reabitlikeme:youhatewatchingtrashy

TV

intheevening

andwouldratherworkonsomethingbeneficial.

Ibetyou’reabitlikeme:you’reabusypersonwho’salwaysjugglingto
geteverythingdone.

Slipthosekindsofstatementsintoearlyconversationswhileholding
eyecontactwiththeotherperson,andjustwatchthemnodbackat
you.Whentheydo,thismeanstheyknowthatyouknowtheyagree
withthoseconcepts.Thismakesitanawfullotharderforthemtotell
youtheyhavenotgotthetimetodowhatyoudemonstratedcould

givethemthethingstheysaidtheywant.

TheMagicWords“Ibetyou’reabitlikeme”often

resultin

theotherpersoncomfortablyagreeing

withyou.

12

If...Then

Ourspeechpatterns,listen-ingpatternsand,inturn,

beliefsystemsareallpreprogrammedandhardwired

intousthroughoutourchildhood—

somuchsothattherepetitivepatternsofwordswereceivethrough
toouradolescencecreatehabits,systemsinsideofourbeliefsystems,
thatweleanoninordertosupportourpersonaldecision-making
process.

Anexampleofthisisasimplepatternofspeechthat
appearedalotinyouryouth,anditsimpactisoften
overlooked.Adultsmademanycon-ditionalstatementsto
uswhenwewerechildren,suchas...

Ifyoudon’teatallyourdinner,thenyou’renotgoingtogetany
dessert.

Ifyoudon’tstudyhardatschool,thenyou’renotgoingtogetintothe

collegeorjobyou’rehopingfor.

Ifyoudon’ttidyyourroom,thenyou’regoingtobegroundedforthe
weekend.

EXAMPLES

Whentheymadeconditionalstatementslikethesetoyou,chances

arethatyoubelievedthem.Thesestatementsholdpoweroverour
beliefsandactions.

Asaconsequence,creatingascenariousingthepreface“if”and

addingasecondscenariowiththepreface“then”meansthatpeople
arehighlylikelytobelievetheoutcome.

Ifyoudecidetogivethisatry,thenIpromiseyouwon’tbe
disappointed.

Ifyouputthisinyourstores,thenIamcertainyourcustomerswilllike

it.

Ifyougivemeachanceintherole,thenIamconfidentyouwillthank
melater.

Bycreatingthese“if...then”sandwiches,youcan

positionguaranteedoutcomesthatareverydifficult

nottobelieve.Ifyouarepreparedtogivethisatry,then

Iamcertainyouwillseetheresultsasearlyasthefirst

dayyoutryit.

13

Don’tWorry

WhatIlovebestaboutthisnextsetofsimplewordsis

thepowertheyhaveonpeoplewhoarenervous,

apprehensiveorshowingsignsofconcern.

Youknowwhenyoucanseeandfeeltheanxietyin
somebody,whentheyareuncertainaboutwhattodonext
orperhapsevenfearful.ThesetwoMagicWordsprovide
instantrelief,andyoucantypicallyseethechangeinthe
recipient.

Saythewords,“Don’tworry,”andthetensionjustpoursoutofthem
astheybecomemorerelaxed.Justtwowordsthat,whensaid
confidentlyandcalmly,createanoutcomethatistheequivalentofthe
expression“Phew!”—thatlittlesighthatcomesoutastheystartto
feelincontrol.

Thisisparticularlyusefulinhigh-stressscenarios,whenconfronted

withsomeonewhoispanickedorjusttocomfortablyputsomeoneat
ease.Theminutesomebodyisindecisive,holdyourposture,stay
relaxedandgivethemthefeelingthatyouhavethisundercontroland

canhelpthemnavigatethenextstep.

EXAMPLES

Examplesinclude...

Don’tworry.You’reboundtobenervousrightnow.

Don’tworry,Iknowyoudon’tknowwhattodorightnow,butthat’s

whatI’mherefor.I’mheretohelpyouthroughthisprocessand
overcomeallthehurdlesastheycropupalongtheway.

Don’tworry.IfeltjustthewayyoufeelrightnowbeforeIstarted,and

lookatmenow.

So,don’tworryifyou’rewonderinghowyou’regoingtomakeall
thesenewwordchoicesstick.Theywillcomeintime,andyouwill
havesoonmastereditaftergettingalittlebetterfromone

conversationtothenext.

“Don’tworry”isparticularlyusefulinhigh-stress
scenarios,

whenconfrontedwithsomeonewhois

panicked—itputspeopleatease.

14

MostPeople

Thesetwowords,whichcontainjusttenletters,are

possiblyresponsibleformoreofmynegotiating

successthananyothersinglestrategyIhaveemployed

inmybusinesses.

Indecisionisthebiggestthingthatstandsinthewayof
progress,andthesewordscanhelpjumppeopleoutof
procrastinationinaflash.

Thereareafewthingsthatareworthunderstandingaboutpeople,
andthesearetwobigones.

First,peopletakegreatconfidencefromthefactthatpeoplelike

themhavemadeadecisionbeforethemandthatthatdecision
workedoutjustfine.

Considerthisscenario,maybeoneyouhaveexperiencedyourself.

Onvacation,youseeagroupofchildrenontopofarockfacelooking
tojumpintothewaterbelow,butnobodywantstogofirst.However,

assoonasonepersonisbraveenoughtogofirstandjumpsintothe
water,landswithasplashanddoesn’tsufferanyinjurybutinstead
breaksthesurfacewithagreatbigsmileontheirface,noweverybody
seemstothinkitisagoodidea.Humanbeings,people,youandI—we

allliketofollowothersandtrustthatthereissafetyinnumbers.

Second,sometimespeopleneedtobetoldwhattodo,butwithout

theirpermissionitcansoundrude.Iamsuretherehavebeenplentyof

timesthatyouhavewantedtosay,“WhatIthinkyoushoulddois...”

ThesetwofactorscreatethepowerintheapplicationoftheMagic

Words“mostpeople.”Nowwhenyouarefacedwithamomentwhen
whatyouwanttosayis,“Look,whatIthinkyoushoulddoisthis,”but
youcannotsaythatbecauseitiskindofobnoxious,insteadyoucan

simplystatewhat“mostpeople”woulddointhissituationandwatch
howitchangeseverything.

Whenyoutellpeoplewhatmostpeoplewoulddo,their

subconsciousbrainsays,“Aha,I’mmostpeople,soifthatiswhatmost

peoplewoulddo,thenperhapsthatiswhatIshoulddotoo.”

Whenyoutellpeoplewhatmostpeoplewould

do,theirbrainsays,

“I’mmostpeople,soperhaps

thatiswhatIshoulddotoo.”

EXAMPLES

Theexamplesforthisareendless:

Whatmostpeopledoiscompletetheformswithmeheretoday.You
thenreceiveyourwelcomepackandwegetyoubookedinfora
launch.

Whatmostpeopledoisplaceasmallordertogetstarted,committo

afewofthebestproducts,seehowtheyworkoutintheirdaily

routinesandthendecidewhattheywanttodonext.

Mostpeopleinyourcircumstanceswouldgrabthisopportunitywith
bothhands,knowingthatthereisalmostnorisk.

Trytoarguewitheachofthesepointsandseehowmuchtheycanbe

usedtostrengthenyourpointofview.Infact,mostpeopleputthe
words“mostpeople”intosomeoftheirdailyconversations,andmost

ofthosepeopleseeanimmediatepositiveeffectontheirinfluence.

Mostpeopleputthewords“mostpeople”into

theirdailyconversations,

andmostofthose

peopleseeanimmediatepositiveeffect.

15

TheGoodNews

Nowisthetimeforustotalkabouthowyoucanturn

aroundallthatnegativeenergy—thenegativeenergy

thatcomesfromothersinyourteam,otherswhoyou

areprospectingorperhapsjustotherpeopleinyourlife.

Thesewordsprovideyouwithatooltospinanegativeinto
apositiveusingatechniquecalledlabeling.

Themomentyouapplyalabeltosomething,itbecomesalmost
impossiblefortheotherpersonintheconver-sationtoshedthat
label.

Itistheacceptanceofthisnewlabelthatcreatestheabilityto

changethedirectionofaconversationwithminimaleffortandmoveit

towardamorepositiveoutcome.

UsingtheMagicWords,“Thegoodnewsis...”asaprefacetoyour

chosenpointensuresthattherecipienthastoacceptthelabelyou
haveattachedtoit.Thisoptimisticspincanhelpyoufacenegativityin

yourlife,preventsyoufromendingupinaself-sabotaging
conversationofblameandpityandhelpsyoustarttobuildinanew
direction.

Ifsomebodyisquestioningtheirabilitytodosomething,thenyou

canrespondwith,“Look,thegoodnewsisthatwehavedozensof

peoplewhowereinexactlythesamesituationwhentheyfirststarted,

andtheyhavegoneontobesuccessfulandareheretosupportyou,
too.”

Iftheyareunsurewhethertheyhavegottheskillsthatarerequired

inordertomakethebusinesswork,youcouldsay,“Thegoodnewsis
thatwehavecom-prehensivetrainingyoucancompleteatyourown
pacetogiveyoualltheskillsyouneedtomakeasuccessofthis

business.”

Whataboutwhensomebodyisresistingchangebutsaystheywant

moresuccess?Youcouldrespondwith,“Thegoodnewsisyou
alreadyknowthatwhatyouaredoingnowisnotworking,sowhatis

theharmintryingthis?”

Byprefacingthingswith,“Thegoodnewsis...,”youcausepeopleto

faceforwardwithoptimismandzapanynegativeenergyoutofthe
conversation.

Byprefacingthingswith,“Thegoodnewsis...,”

youcausepeopletofaceforwardwithoptimism

andzapanynegativeenergyoutofthe

conversation.

Youcanusethissameprinciplewithtwomorewordswhen
facedwithpeoplewhogiveexcusesorreasonsastowhy
theyarenotreadytomoveforward.

Whensomebodygivesyouanexcuse,theyexpectyoutopushback
andarguearoundthatpoint.Nexttimesomebodytellsyouareason

whytheydonotwanttodosomething,respondbysaying,“That’s

great.”Whensomebodysays,“Icouldn’tdoitbecauseofthis,”say,

“That’sgreat,you’vejustfoundoutanotherwaythatdoesn’twork,”

andwatchhowtheylookatyoudifferently.Youhavechangedthe

waythattheythink.Now,someofthemmightthinkthatyouhave
completelylostit,buthey,youprobablydidnotwantthosepeoplein
yourlifeanyway.

Bybringingmorepositivitytosituationswith,“Thegoodnewsis...”

andrespondingwith,“That’sgreat,”yousoonstartshiftingthe

balanceinpeople’sthoughtsandallowthemtoquestionthemselves
towardabetteroutcomeandbehavior.

Bybringingmorepositivitytosituationswith,

“Thegoodnewsis...”andrespondingwith,

“That’sgreat,”

yousoonstartshiftingthebalance

inpeople’sthoughts.

16

WhatHappensNext

Let’sapplysomecontextthathappensinmany

business-relateddiscussions.

Youhavecreatedanopportunity,gotared-hotprospect,beenout,

shownthemhowyoucanhelpthemandwalkedthemthroughyour
entirepresentation,andnowyouareatthepointwheretheyhave
noddedandsmiledallthewaythrougheverythingyou’vepresentedto

them.

Youwantthemtocommit,butfollow-ingallofthis
relationshipbuildingandimpartingofknowledge,the
conversationgrindstoastopwithnobodyleadingthe
actualdecision.

Thishappensfartoooften,anditisaproductofpeoplebeingso

fearfulofbeingseenaspushyorcontrollingthattheyfailtofinishthe
jobtheystarted.Itcanbealltooeasytoleavethedecision-makingup
tootherpeopleandhopethattheywillmaketherightchoice,but
withoutyourhelp,oftenothersmakenodecisionatallandeveryone
losesout.

Intheseconsultativediscussions,itisyourresponsibilitytoleadthe

conversation,andfollowingthesharingoftherequiredinformation,

yourroleistomoveittowardaclose.

Youneedtoletthemknowwhathappensnext,sotheMagicWords

yourequirearepreciselythat:“Whathappensnextis...”Thisisa

perfectwayoflinkingalloftheinformationtheyneedtomakea

decision,theinformationyouprovidedwhenyoupresentedtothem,

andbringingthemthroughtothecompletionthatneedstofollow.So,
whatyoudoiscreateascene.Youdonotaskthemwhattheywould
liketodo;youjusttellthemwhathappensnext.

“Whathappensnextisthatwearegoingtotakeafewmoments,

completesomeofyourpersonaldetailsandgetthingssetupforyou

toreceiveeverythinginthequickestpossibletime.

“Thenweneedtoscheduleanothermeetingforustogetstarted,

andatthatpointIamgoingtohelpyouthroughallthestepstoensure

thatyourealizeyourgoalsandarefullyawareofallthesupportthatis
availabletoyou.Intermsofregisteringyourdetails,whatisthebest
addressforyou?”

Itisyourresponsibilitytoleadtheconversation,

andfollowingthesharingoftherequired

information,yourroleistomoveittowarda

close.

Finishingthisprocesswithaquestionthatiseffortless

toansweristhekeytogainingarapidresponseanda

positiveoutcome.

Intheexamplejustdiscussed,youshouldseehow,justbyaskingthem
thatsimplequestionattheend,thesecondtheyrespondwiththeir

address,itmeanstheyaremovingforwardwithyourproposal.

Youcouldcomfortablyaskanytypeofquestiontocloseyour

scenario.Theeasierthequestionistoanswer,theeasieryougain
yourdecision.Havingaconciseandconstructive“whathappensnext”
conversationwillmeanthatyousuccessfullyclosefarmore

conversationsinthefirstmeetingandmakemorehappeninthe
momentsthatyouhavewithpeople.

Theeasierthequestionistoanswer,

theeasier

yougainyourdecision.

17

WhatMakesYouSayThat?

Objectionsareacommonpartofeverydaylife.Weface

indecisionfromothersinourpersonalandprofessional

livesandquiteoftenfindourselveshavingtoaccept

anotherperson’sidea.

Theseconversationscanbecomeconfrontational,soto
avoidargument,themajorityofpeoplearehappytoletgoof
theirgoalinfavorofaneasylife.

Toovercomeanobjection,youmustfirstunderstandwhatan
objectionreallyis.Thereisalwaysthepossibilitythatanobjectionis
analternativetosaying,“Nothankyou,”orawayofpushingthe

decisionawayforanotherday.However,itisalwaysashiftincontrol
oftheconversation,andthesecondanyobjectionisraised,theother
personseizespowerandyouareobligedtorespondtotheirwishes.

Successinnegotiatingisallaboutmaintainingcontrolina

conversation,andthepersonincontrolisalwaysthepersonwhois

askingthequestions.Bytreatingeveryobjectionyoufaceasnothing
morethanaquestion,youcanquicklyregaincontrolofthe
conversationbyaskingaquestioninreturn.

EXAMPLES

Inabusinesssetting,commonobjectionsinclude...

Ihaven’tgotthetime.

It’sthewrongtime.

Iwanttoshoparound.

Ihaven’tgotthemoneyrightnow.

IneedtospeaktosomebodyelsebeforeImakeadecisionaboutthis.

Theworstthingthatyoucoulddowhensuchanobjectionisraisedis

torespondwithyourcounterargumentandmakestatementsthat
disprovetheircurrentopinion.Instead,youcantackleeachofthese
commonobjectionseffectivelybybeinginquisitiveaboutthemand
askingaquestionintheoppositedirection.

Successinnegotiatingisallaboutmaintaining

controlinaconversation,and

thepersonin

controlisalwaysthepersonwhoisaskingthe

questions.

Ofcourse,youcoulddevelopuniqueandprecisequestionsto

challengeeveryobjectionyouarefacedwith.Alternatively,youcan

leanontheonesetofMagicWordsthathasservedinmillionsof

similarscenarios:“Whatmakesyousaythat?”

EXAMPLES

Hereareafewexamples:

Thecustomersays,“IneedtospeaktosomebodyelsebeforeImake

adecisionaboutthis.”Yousay,“Whatmakesyousaythat?”

Thecustomersays,“Really,Idon’thaveallthemoneyrightnow.”You
say,“Whatmakesyousaythat?”

Thecustomersays,“I’mreallynotsureI’vegotthetimetofitthisin
aroundwhatI’mdoingrightnow.”Yousay,“Whatmakesyousay
that?”

Thisshiftofcontrolnowleavestheotherpersonobligated
togiveananswerandfillinthegapsintheirprevious
statement.

Itpreventsyoufrommakingprejudgmentsorenteringintoan
argument,anditallowsyoutobetterunder-standtheirpointofview
beforerecommendinganextthoughtoraction.

Whatyouareaskingthemtodoistoexplainthemselvesproperly.

Thewords,“Whatmakesyousaythat?”meantheynowhavetotake
responsibilityandexplainwhattheyreallymean.Havingthisexplained
properlyputsyouinapositioninwhichyoucanthenhelpthemwith
theirdecisionoratleasthaveagreaterunderstandingofwhythey
cannotmakeitatthistime.

18

BeforeYouMakeYourMindUp

Movingsomebodyfroma“no”toa“yes”isnearly

impossible.Beforeyoucanmovesome-onetofull

agreement,yourfirstactionistomovethemtoa

positionof“maybe.”

Whenyoufindyourselfinapositioninwhichtheotherpersonis
leaningtowardnotchoosingyouridea,youcanquicklymovethem
backinyourdirectionbyprefacingyournextactionwithanotherset

ofMagicWords:“Beforeyoumakeyourmindup...”

EXAMPLES

Herearesomeexamplesofhowyoucanusethesewordstokeepthe
conversationalive:

Look,beforeyoumakeyourmindup,let’smakesurewe’velookedat
allthefacts.

Beforeyoumakeyourmindup,whydon’twejustrunthroughthe
detailsonemoretimesoyoucanknowwhatitisthatyouaresaying

noto?

Beforeyoumakeyourmindup,wouldn’titmakesensetospeaktoa
fewmorepeopleaboutthedifferencethiscouldmakeforyouand

yourfamily?

Thesesimpleexamplescanoftenmovepeoplefromapositionofno
andallowthenegotiationtocontinuebymakingthemlookatitfroma

differentperspective.Itisthisshiftinvantagepointthatthenallows
youtoaddalternativeinformationtosupportyourideaandincrease

yourinfluenceovertheirdecision.

19

IfICan,WillYou?

Haveyoueverbeeninoneofthosescenariosinwhich

yourprospectorcustomerpushesbackwithreasonsas

towhytheycannotdothethingyouwouldlikethemto

do?

Perhapstheyarelookingforyoutomakeachangefrom
yourstandardtermsortheywouldlikeyoutoofferan
improvedprice.

Thissamethingappearsinourpersonalliveswhenpeoplemake
excusesaboutwhytheycannotmakeittoeventsorcelebrations.

Thesesituationsarecreatedbytheotherpersondeliveringan

externalconditionthatisaffectingtheirabilitytomoveforwardwith
youridea.Theyhaveremovedthemselvesfromtheprocessand
abdicatedresponsibilitytosomethingoutoftheircontrol.

Youhavethepowerinthesesituationstoisolatethisconditionand

removethebarrierbyrespondingwithapowerfulquestionthat

eliminatestheirargument.Thisisachievedbyusingthequestion
structure,“IfIcan...,thenwillyou...?”

Imaginethatyouwantafriendtojoinyouforanightoutnext

Friday.Yourfriendsaysthereasontheycannotjoinyouisbecausethe

carisinforrepairandthebusesdonotrunthatlate.Youcould
eliminatethischallengewiththequestion,

“IfIcanpickyouupanddropyouoffathome,thenwillyoubeable

tobereadyforsevenpm?”

Thesameprinciplecanbeusedwhensomeoneislookingforyouto

reduceyourpriceinlinewithacompetitiveoffer.

“IfIcanmatchthatpriceforyou,thenwouldyoubehappytoplace

theorderwithmetoday?”

Inbothofthesescenarios,youarestillnotobligatedtomeetthe

conditionpresented,butyouareincontrolofwhathappensnext.You
mayreceivefurtherreasonsandhonestyfromtheotherpersonthat

preventsyoumovingforward,oryoumayfindthatyougaintheir

agreement.Withtheiragreementtothecondition,youcannow
presentyourbestoptiontothemandwillbefarmorelikelytoreach
yourdesiredoutcome.

Youhavethepowerinthesesituationstoremove

thebarrier

byrespondingwithapowerful

questionthateliminatestheotherperson’s

argument.

20

Enough

Thisnextwordrelatespreciselytoscenariosinwhich

youarelookingforotherstomakedecisionson

quantityorlevelofservice.

It’sallaboutmakingitaloteasierfortheotherpersonto
reachalittlehigherthantheymayhavedoneotherwise.

Takingtheexampleofretailsales,therearecountlessoccasionsin
whichcustomersdeliberateoverthequantitytheyshouldpurchaseof
certainitems.Youcanprobablyevenrelate:forinstance,maybeatthe
grocerystoreyouhavequestionedthenumberofapplesyoushould

buy.

Ineverysetofcircumstancesinwhichyouinvolveyourselfinthe

decision-makingprocess,youhavethepowertoinfluencetheactions
ofothers.Consumerslovetobeledthroughtherightthingtodo,and
assistingpeopleinmakingtheirmindsupisaskillthatwillhelpyou

reachthehighestplaces.

Jumpingbacktothescenariointhegrocerystore,let’simaginethat

youaredeliberatingbetweenfourandeightapples.Ifyouwerebeing
servedinthattransactionandwereaskedthedirectquestion,“Would
eightapplesbeenoughforyou?”yourinstantresponsewouldbe

“yes,”andthedecisionwouldbemade.

Inbusiness,yourgoalcanbetohavepeoplecomebackforyour

productstimeandtimeagain.Ensuringthattheyhavethecorrect

quantitiestomakeahabitofusingyourproductscanbeakey

componentofthat.Iamsurethatyouhaveenjoyedtheuseoftravel-

sizedtoiletriesbutnevergoneontoinvestintheproductsyourself,
yetwhenyouhavepurchasedathree-for-twooffer,thishasoften
becomeyournewbrandofchoice.

ThereisacompanythatIhaveworkedextensivelywith,andtheir

keyproductisadrinkinggelthattheywantpeopletocomebackand

consumetimeandtimeagain.Inface-to-facediscussionswitha
customer,thedilemmaoftenarisesoverhowmanybottlesthey

shouldpurchase,andthechoicetypicallysitsbetweentwoandthree

bottles.Insteadofadetailedanalysisofthebenefitsofthreebottles
overtwo,youcaneasilysimplifythedecisionwiththedirectquestion,
“Wouldthreebottlesbeenoughforyou?”

Ineverysetofcircumstancesinwhichyou

involveyourselfinthedecision-makingprocess,

youhavethepowertoinfluencetheactionsof

others.

Thisuseofwordsdrivestherecipienttoanswerthe

directquestion,and“yes”becomesthepathofleast

resistance.

Whenusedskillfullyinsituationsinwhichsomebodyimpressionable
mustchoosebetweentwooptions,youwillalmostalwaysgetthemto

pickthebiggerone.

Iamsureyoucanthinkofmanysimilarscenariosinyourown

business.Understandthatifyouoffersomeonethechoicebetween
twonumbers,youarelikelytoreceiveafifty-fiftyresponse.Yeta
directquestioninvolvingonlythelargeroptionandtheMagicWord

“enough”swingsthoseoddsfarfurtherinyourdirection.Integrating
thisprincipleintoallconversationsinvolvingyourbusinesscanhavea

hugeimpactonyourresults.Justimagineifeverytransaction
containedjustonemoreunit.

Integratingthisprincipleintoallconversations

involvingyourbusinesscanhaveahugeimpact

onyourresults.

Justimagineifeverytransaction

containedonemoreunit.

21

JustOneMoreThing

Insalestrainingprograms,itistypicaltotalkaboutthe

importanceofan“upsell”:invitingyourconsumerto

purchasemoreatthepointoftransaction.

Theprevioussectionshowedasimplewayofachieving
this,yetapracticethatislesscommonisthedownsell.A
downsellinvolvesworkingonachievingalesserobjectiveif
youfailtomeetyourprimaryobjectiveinaconversation.

Perhapsyouwentinlookingforagreementtoalargelong-term
contract;adownsellmaybeafirsttrialorder.Orperhapsyouwanted

someonetopartnerwithyourbusiness;thedownsellcouldbetotry
yourproductsasacustomer.

ThissetofMagicWordsallowsyoutocreatethatopportunityon

yourwayoutofaconversation.Insteadofleavingwithnothing,you

usethesewordsforafurtherattempt.Thistechniquewasfirst
introducedtomewhenwatchingcrimedramason

TV

atmy

grandparents’houseasachild.Theseshowsintroducedmeto
possiblythegreatestnegotiatorIhaveevermet,thetelevision
detectiveColumbo,whowasfamousforaprecisesetofwords.

Whathewoulddoisquizhissuspect,gothroughtherigmaroleof

gatheringalltheinformationhecouldandthenturntoleave.

Justwhenthesuspectwassuretheyhadgotawaywiththings,

Columbowouldturnbacktothemand,withhisfingerpointed

upward,say,“Oh,justonemorething.”Itwasinthismoment,when

thesuspect’sguardwasnowdown,thathecouldaskhisnext

questionandreceivethekeyinformationthatheneeded—theclue
thatwouldleadhimtosolvethecrime.

UsingtheMagicWords“Justonemorething”

keepstheconversationalive

andcanhelpyou

avoidleavingwithnothing.

Thislessoncantranslateintomanyscenariosinourlives.Hereis

justoneofthem.

Youmeetwithsomeonetointroducethemtoyourideasandlook

togaintheircommitment.Theykindoflikeyouandyourideas,but
theyarenotsosure,andthemeetingiscomingtoaclose.Youthank
themfortheirtime,packyourthingsupandheadforthedoor.Atthis
pointyoucouldcreateaColumbomomentandturnbacktothemwith

thewords,“Justonemorething.”Whentheythinkthattheyhavegot
awaywithnotbuyinganything,youintroduceasimpleidea,something
thatisreallyeasyforthemtotry,andbringthemintoyourworldwith
afarsmallerdecisionthanyouhadpreviouslyaskedfor.

EXAMPLES

ExamplesofthingsyoucouldaddwithaColumbomomentinclude...

Askingthemtosampleaproduct.

Askingthemtocommittoasmallorder.

Invitingthemtoanevent.

Introducingthemtosomeoneyouthinktheyshouldknow.

Askingthemtodosomethingforyou.

Askingthemaquestionthatcreatesscarcityinyourfirstoffer.

UsingthesemomentsandtheMagicWords“Justonemorething”

keepstheconversationaliveandcanhelpyouavoidleavingwith
nothing.

22

AFavor

Successinlifeandbusinessisrarelyachievedwithout

thesupportofothers.Ifyoucandothingsthatallow

otherpeopletohelpyouachieveyourgoals,thenthe

chancesofyoureachingthemsignificantlyincrease.

Iamsureyouhavehadmanyscenariosinwhichyouhave
longedforsomeoneelsetodosomethingthatmakesyour
lifealittleeasier,thatopensadoorforyouorprovidesyou
withtheinformationyouneedtomaketheprogressyou
wouldlike.

Aswereachtheendofthisbook,perhapsyoucoulddomeasmall

favor?

Thinkforasecondabouthowyoufeelaboutmeaskingyouthat

directquestion,“Couldyoudomeasmallfavor?”Iamprettysurethat
inthatsplit-secondmoment,youthoughtthatyoumaybereasonably

opentohelpingmeout.

ThisisasimpleandpowerfulsetofMagicWordsthatyoucanuse

togetsomebodytoagreetodojustaboutanythingbeforetheyeven
knowwhatthethingis.Therequestofafavoralmostalwaysgainsa
unanimousagreementfromtherecipient,andtheworstresponse

possibleisstillaconditionalyes,like,“Dependswhatitis.”

Thinkofthethingsthatyoucouldaskpeopletodofollowingtheir

agreementtothefavoryouareaskingofthem.Iamsureyourmindis

boggledbythedozensofthingsyoucouldaddtoyourlistofwants

andthepeoplewhocouldhelpyouwiththem.InthisbookIwantto

illustratehowmuchcanbedonewithapowerfulchangeofwords.We
canexploretheapplicationoftheseMagicWordsusingthetopicof
referrals.

Growinganewcustomerbasefromyourexistinghappycustomers

isasolidstrategyforbusinessgrowth,yetitisoftennotimplemented

atall.Ibelievethattherearethreemainreasonspeoplefailtoask
othersforreferrals:

1. Theyaretoolazyandcannotbebothered.

2. Theydonotknowwhentoask.
3. Theydonotknowhowtoask.

Let’sfirstconsiderthefirstoption.Mostlyitwouldrelatetothe

peoplewhodonotreadbooks,attendtrainingortaketheirpersonal

developmentseriously.Thisclearlydoesnotdescribeyou,soIguess
weshouldconsidertheothertworeasons.

Whenitcomestothetiming,thereareliterallydozensofmoments

thatyoucanaskforareferral.Ifyoutakethetimetoconsiderallthe
examplesof“goodtimes,”theywillallhaveonethingincommon—the

otherpersonishappy.Whenpeoplearehappywithwhatyouhave
doneforthem,therearesomesimplewordsthatnearlyalways
feature:theyexpresstheirhappinesswiththewords“Thankyou.”
Thesewordscaneasilytriggerfeelingsofprideandself-worthinyou.

Inadditiontothesefeelings,then,itisimportantforyouto
understandthesimplestreasonwhypeoplesaythankyou.

Anexpressionofgratitudecomesfromafeelingofindebtedness.

Putsimply,whentheysaythankyou,itisbecausetheyfeeltheyowe

yousomething.Thebesttimetoaskforsomeone’shelpiswhenthey
feelindebtedtoyou.Allthismeansis,thenexttimeyouhearthe

words“Thankyou”fromyourcustomerorprospect,usethatasyour

cuetoaskformore.

Nowthatyouhavethetiming,let’snextdeterminehowtoask.
So,theyhavesaid,“Thankyou,”whichprovidesyouwithyourcueto

askyourfirstquestion:“Youcouldn’tdomeasmallfavor,couldyou?”

Thissimplequestiongainsanalmostcertainagreeableresponseand
givesyouinstantpermissiontocontinuewiththerestofyourrequest.

Youcanthengoontosay,

“Youwouldn’thappentoknow...”

(Thisthrowsdownachallenge,whichmakespeoplewanttoprove

youwrong.)

“...justoneperson...”
(Justone,becauseit’sreasonableandseemsasimpleask,and

they’remorelikelytothinkofsomeonebyname.)

“...someonewho,ustlikeyou...”

(Thishasthepersonnarrowingdowntheoptionsandgivesyou

moreoftherightprospects,plusitpaysasubtlecompliment.)

“...wouldbenefitfrom...”
Andthenemphasizethespecificbenefitorpositiveexperiencethey

havejustthankedyoufor.

Then...shutup!

Peoplesaythankyouwhentheyfeeltheyowe

yousomething.

Thisisthebesttimetoaskfor

someone’shelp.

Whentheyhavethoughtofsomebody,youneedtoknowwhereto

gonext.Youwillprobablyseeintheirbodylanguagewhentheyhave

thoughtofsomebody.Atthispoint,say,“Don’tworry.I’mnotlooking

fortheirdetailsrightnow,butwhowasitthatyouwerethinkingof?”

Thisautomaticallytakesthepressureoff,andthe“but”helpsthem

torecallonlythefinalpartofthesentence.Findoutthenwhen
they’renextlikelytoseethepersontheythoughtof.

“Youcouldn’tdomeafurtherfavor,couldyou?(Imean,theysaid

yesthefirsttime.)NexttimeyouseeSteve,couldyousharewithhim

alittlebitabouthowitwasdoingbusinesswithmeandseeifhe’s
perhapsopen-mindedabouttakingaphonecallfrommetoseeifIcan

helphiminthesamewayIhelpedyou?”

Yourprospectwillalmostcertainlyagree.
“WoulditbeokayifIgaveyouacallnextweektofindouthowthe

chatwithStevewent?”

Theywillmostlikely,again,beagreeable.Youwillthencallwhen

yousaidyouwouldandask,“I’mguessingyoudidn’tgetaroundto

speakingtoSteve?”

Asapersonoftheirword,eithertheywillproudlysaythattheyhave

spokentoSteve,ortheywillbeembarrassedandtellyouhowthey
willgoontocompletetheintroduction.

Themagicinthis,thecrazyirony,isthatyouslowtheprocessdown,

butyouspeeduptheoutcomeandenduphavingconversationswith
peoplewhoexpectyourcall,lookforwardtohearingfromyouandare
grateful.Itprovidesyouwithqualifiedfuturecustomerswhoalready
havethird-partyexperiencewithyourofferings,aswellaspermission

tomakecontact.Iwouldtakethatoveranameandnumberanydayof
theweek.

Itisnowtimetodoyourselfafavorandlookatallthethings
youcanbeaskingofothers,gainingtheircommitment
beforetheyevenknowwhatthatthingis.

23

JustOutofCuriosity

Thereisoneobjectionthatpeoplegiveinresponseto

ideasthathasalwaysfrustratedme.Thisobjectionis,“I

justneedsometimetothinkaboutit.”

Iamnotsayingthatpeopleshouldfeelrushedinto
decisions.It’sjustthatmyexperiencetellsmethis
statementrarelymeanstheyareheadingawaytodoa
detailedanalysisoftheirdecision.Theyarejustpushing
theirdecisionawaytoanotherday.

Applysomecontexttothis,andconsiderthatyouhavespenttime
respondingtoaninquiry,visitingaprospect,gettingtoknowthemand
listeningtotheirchallenges.Youthenprovidethemwithadetailedset
ofrecommendationsastohowyoucanhelpthemachievetheir
objectivesorovercometheirchallenges,andinreturntheyprovide

thisvagueresponsethathelpsnoneinthediscussiontoreachclosure.

Myconcernisthatitisjustnotfair.Ibelievethatifyouhave

deliveredyourpartcorrectly,thentheotherpersonatleastowesyou
alittlemoretransparencyregardingtheirthoughts.

Onreceiptofthisreply,Ihaveoftenfoundmyselfwantingtoshout,

“Whatisitthatyouwanttothinkabout?”Iknewthatiftheycould
openuptheirthoughtstome,thenIcouldprobablyhelp.Thetrouble

was,IknewIcouldn’treallyaskthatbecauseitwouldseemrudeor

obnoxious.Soinstead,Ihearpeopleinmysituationsaythingslike,“It’s

okay,nopressure;wearereadywhenyouareready,”andwalkaway
fromtheopportunityhopingthattimewillfixit.

ThisfrustrationhasmeantthatIhavehadtofindawayofgettinga

realanswerfrompeoplebyaskingrude,obnoxiousquestionswithout
soundingrudeorobnoxious.WhatIwantfromtheirresponseisnota
guaranteedcommitment,buthonestyinthediscussionsothatwe

bothknowwhatthetrueobstaclesare.

WhatIdiscoveredwasthatifIprefaceoneofthesedirectquestions

withacertainsetofMagicWords,thenIcouldchangerudeand
obnoxiousintosoftandfluffy.Byfindingareasonformydirect

questionandgainingpermissiontoaskit,Iinstantlyshiftcontrolof

theconversationtome.ThewordsIusetodothisare,“Justoutof
curiosity,”andtheycanbeusedastheperfectprefacetomanya
directquestion.

EXAMPLES

Examplesinclude...

Justoutofcuriosity,whatisitspecificallyyouneedsometimeto
thinkabout?

Justoutofcuriosity,whatneedstohappenforyoutomakea

decisionaboutthis?

Justoutofcuriosity,whatisitthat’sstoppingyoufrommoving
forwardwiththisrightnow?

Ineachoftheseexamples,whatisimperativeisthatyouremainquiet
followingyourquestion.Silencebecomesyourfriend;youmustnot

prejudgetheiranswerorputwordsintheirmouth.Theynowknow

theyneedtogiveyouaproperanswer,andoneoftwothingswill

happen.

Askingbig,bravequestionsisexactlywhatyou

needtodo

tobecomeaprofessionalmind-maker-

upper.

Thingnumberoneisthatmaybetwelvesecondsgoesby.(Thiswill

feellikethreeweeks.)Theywillthencomebackwithareal,honest
answer,andyoucanworkwiththattransparency.Thesecondoption

wouldbethatthetimerunsonlonger.Thisisgoodnews.Biteyour
tongue,sitonyourhands,donothing.Letthetimegoby.Duringthis
elongatedpausetheyarehuntingforanexcuseandoftenrealizethey
donotreallyhaveone.Theythenrespondwiththingslike,“Youknow
what,you’reright.Thereisn’tanythingtothinkabout,”or,“Thereis

nothingthatneedstohappen,”or,“Thereisnothingstoppingme.”It’s
theveryfactthatyouwerepreparedtoaskthemthequestionthey
werenotyetpreparedtoaskthemselvesthatempowersthemto
makeadecisionyoubothknowwasrightfortheminthefirstplace.

Askingbig,bravequestionsisexactlywhatyouneedtodotomove
frombeingjustlikeeverybodyelsetobecomingaprofessionalmind-
maker-upper.

FinalThought

Withallthesewordstocon-sider,Iamsureyouarenow

awarethatreachingfortherightwordsattherighttime

canmakeallthedifference.ThereisonemorethingI
wanttosharewithyou,some-thingthatisn’t

necessarilyamagicword.

Itissomething,though,thatcanmakeahugeandprofound
differencetoyourlevelofsuccesswhenyouimpartyour
knowledgeandwisdomtoothers.

OneworryIhearfromlotsofpeopleisthefearofbeingcaughtout
whenitcomestoproductknowledgeabouttheirbusinessand
industryandtheneedtohavefantasticanswersforeveryquestion.

AboutadecadeagoImetoneofthemostsuccessfulsalespeopleI

haveeverknown.Iwashavingaconversationwithhimaboutsuccess.
Thisparticularindividual,Roger,wasintheroomwhentheveryfirst
textmessagewascreated,andhehadhadalong,illustriouscareerin
thetelecommunicationsindustry.Iremembertalkingtohimaboutthe
changeintelephonesmovingfromanaloguetodigital,andhetoldme

thatheusedtogetquestionsfromhiscustomersallthetimeabout
howthisnewtechnologyworked.

Thequestionresultedinhimtryingtoexplainthetechnological

updatesanddazzlethemwithhisdeepknowledge—onlytobe

greetedbyblankfaceslookingbackathim.Inoneofthoselightbulb
momentsthatchangeeverything,Rogerrealizedhewasdoing

everythingwrong.Hethoughthisobligationwastoactuallytellthem

howthisstuffworked.Hequicklyrealizedhisresponsibilitywasnotto

givethemtheanswer;itwasjusttogivethemananswer,sohe
changedthewayheansweredthequestion.Fromthatpointonward,
whencustomersaskedhim,“So,howdoesallthisstuffwork?”he

wouldrespondwiththewords,“Itworksgreat.”Ninetimesoutoften,
hiscustomersweredelightedwiththatanswer.

Thinkhowthatcouldworkforyou.Whenacustomerorprospect

askshowallthisstuffworks,couldyoujustanswer,“Great”?When

theyaskyouwhatkindofresultstheycouldexpectfromthis,could

youanswer,“Goodones”?Bygivingananswerthatissimple,thatis
effortless,thatispositiveanduplifting,thatcomesbackattheminthe
otherdirection,watchhowitstunspeopleintoapositivedecisionand
empowersthemtomoveforward,asopposedtoconfusingthemwith
facts.

Giveananswerthatissimple,effortless,positive

anduplifting,and

watchhowitstunspeopleinto

apositivedecision.

Everythingyouhavelearnedinthisbookissimple,iseasytodoand,

betterstill,works.

Whatitdoesnotdo,though,isworkwithallofthepeopleallofthe

time.Itjustworkswithmostofthepeoplemostofthetime.Thereisa
chancethatwhatyouaredoingnowisworkingwithsomeofthe

peoplesomeofthetime,sopleasedonottrythisonceandtellmeit

didnotwork.Tryitoverandoveragainuntilitbecomesnatural.Bring

itintoeverydaylanguage,andthecompoundeffectofthosetiny

improvementsandsubtlechangesinlanguage,theabilitytoknow

exactlywhattosayandtheinsertionofafewMagicWords,couldbe
justthetonicthattakesyourambition,dedicationanddrive—witha
fewskillssprinkledon—andmovesyoufromcountingconversations

tomakingconversationscount.

Iwishyouallthesuccessthatyouarepreparedtowork

for.Pleaseenjoythejourney.

Acknowledgements

Inalifeblessedwithsomanygreatpeopleappearinginit,theideaof

writingtheacknowledgementsforthisbookfillsmewithfear.Of
courseIwillforgetsomeoneawesome,andnodoubtthereare

hundredsofcontributorswhohaveinfluencedmewithouteitherofus
evenknowingit.Idoknow,though,thatthisbookhasonlybecomea

realitybecauseofahandfulofmagicalpeople.

Thefirstthank-you,though,mustgotothethousandsofconsumers

whohavegivenmeahardtimeovertheyearsandhaveforcedmeto
workonmycraftandchallengemyselftogaintheexperiencetowrite
thisbook.Youcannotlearnthepowerofsimplicityuntilyouhave
tackledthecomplicationsofreality.Peopleoftentalkabouthow

trickysalespeoplecanbe.Myexperienceisthatcustomersareno
angelseither!

Anotherhugethankshastogotomyfirstmentor,PeterLeeat

instil(

www.instil.co.uk)

,who,althoughIhavethankedhimineachof

mybooks,stillfailstorealizethepureinspirationheprovidedtome
whenheshowedmehowmuchofadifferencejustonetraining
sessioncouldmaketosomeone’slife.

Myaudiencesfromcountlessspeakinggigsdeserveaspecial

mention.Thehundredsofcommentssharedovertheyearshavegiven

methefueltodocumentthesewordsandarchivesomethingthatI
hopeprovidesclaritytothetongue-tiedtribewhoaretenaciously
tryingtobetriumphant.

Morerecently,IhavetomentiontheamazingtalentsofBobBurg,

ScottStrattenandthecommunityofprofessionalspeakerswhospill

theirexperiencefreelyandremindmehowinferiorIamonadaily
basis!

Thebookitselfhasonlybeenmadepossiblethroughapowerful

collaborationwiththespecialteamofpeopleatPageTwoStrategies.

InparticularIwanttocalloutTrenaWhiteforbeingasensiblevoice
ofreasonwhenInearlydecidednottofinishthebook,Gabrielle
Narstedforkeepingeverythingontrackandmakingmefeellikea

naughtyschoolboyifImissedadeadlineandtheever-patientJenny
Govier,whoseeditingtalentensuresyouwouldneverknowthatIcan

onlywrite“British”andclearlyneverwenttocollege!

Finally,itisoftensaidthatbehindeverygreatmanisagreat

women.InmycasethisisamplifiedbythethanksthatIowetotwo

greatwomen.FirstlyismydedicatedandloyalassistantBonnie
Schaefer,whoeffortlesslyhasmybackineveryscenario,isalways
onestepaheadandallowsmetodothethingsthatIdobest.Thereis
onethank-youthatalwaysleavesmelostforwords,andthatistomy
beautifulwife,Charlotte,forwhomIwouldneedtowriteanother

booktoshowmytruegratitude.Itisherpresencethatchallengesme
tobebetterinallthatIdo,andthefactthatIclosedthedealonher
givesmealltheconfidenceIneedthattheseMagicWordsreallydo
work!Thankyouforeverything.

AbouttheAuthor

Writingaboutyourselfistheworst.HowdoIsharemyexperience

withoutsoundingbraggy?Doyoureallycarethatmuchanyway?
ShouldIjustwriteitinthirdpersonandseehowthatsounds?

TheseareallthequestionsIfindmyselfstrugglingwithasIwrite

this.Yes,Ihaveenjoyedachallengingandvariedcareer,andIhave

achievedalotthroughfailingmiserablyandlearningfast.It’strue,Ido
liveprettymuchthelifeofmydreams(IdrivethecarIhadaposterof

onmybedroomwallasakidandhavetwohomesinthelocationsI
addedtodreamboardsinmyteens)andpeopledosaynicethings
aboutmeandtheresultsIhavehelpedthemachieve.Therealityis,
though,thatIamjustanormalguywhoisthesonofabuilderand

whoisdoingthebesthecantomakerhymeorreasonofthiscrazy
worldwelivein.

Mypassionsaremyhealth,peopleandthebeliefthatoneperson

canchangetheworld.Iamonamissiontochangethewaypeople

thinkaboutsellingandtohelpthemrealizethat“sales”isnotadirty
word.Youcancatchupwithmeonmymissionof
#teachingtheworldtosellonallthepopularsocialchannels.Iwould
lovetolearnaboutyoursuccesseswiththe#magicwords.

Rememberthatcontactsareincontactwitheachother,solet’s

pleasecontinuetheconversation.

SeemyrandompicturesonInstagram:

@philmjonesuk

ReadautomatedpostsandimprompturantsonTwitter:

@philmjonesuk

ConnectforbusinesschatteronLinkedIn:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/philmjones

/

GainfreetrainingresourcesonmyFacebookpage:

www.facebook.com/philmjonessales

Onemorething...

Checkoutmywebsite:

www.philmjones.com

formyblogandsome

morecoolstuff.

AShamelessPlug

Myguessisthatifyouhavegotthisfarinthebook,thenyoumust

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theuniversalrecognitionofanAmazonreview.I’mnotsureifit’sfor

you,butwoulditbeokayforyoutotakeafewsecondsandhelpme
winabetwithaspeakerfriendofminethatIcangetmorereviews

thanshedoes?

WhileI’masking,Iguessitwouldmakesensetoletyouknowhow

elsewemightbeabletohelpeachother.

BecauseIamsmartenoughtoownallmypublishingrights,myteam

andIcanhelpyoudirectlywithbulkordersofthisbookandsaveyoua
fortune.Wecanalsochangethecovertosuityourbrandandmay

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ThiscustomizationisaserviceIperformformyspeakingclients,andI
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chat.