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Blood Burned

PULSE 3

Book 3

kailingow

PRAISE FOR PULSE

I devoured this book. From the moment

I received the review copy in the mail, I
couldn't put it down until I was finished.
Mystery

and

romance

clouded

the

beginning. The vampire hunks are more
than sexy, they're complex. No wonder
Kalina can't choose between them. I can
see Kalina as a real teenager on the brink
of adulthood. Her grief for Aaron's death
felt real. Then her elation in finding Stuart,
someone close to Aaron, who reminded
her of Aaron, felt real. Her discovery of
who she is felt real. Some of the situation
was comical, especially sensitive topics
(Kalina trying to deal with her hormones)
was handled with a sense of humor. The

ending is wonderful and I would not have
guessed it. Again, Ms. Gow has shown an
understanding of teenage girls and some
of the issues they deal with in growing up.
Boys, love, sex, school, friendships, family
- she covers it all. It says in my copy
PULSE is Book 1 of 5. I can't wait to read
the entire series.

Naya's Girls Night Out Book Picks

I love this book. From the beginning,

you are drawn in by the imagery and the
emotions, the sense of longing in the
characters as they meet. Right away, there
is mystery and romance. The book begins
in the rain as a vampire watches Kalina
run from her car to the library. There is
something very romantic yet primal about
Kalina's first meeting with Jaegar, her dead
ex-boyfriend's half-brother. Shortly after,
Kalina meets Stuart, the other brother. Both
brothers are vampires, as was Kalina's ex-
boyfriend Aaron. The dialogue, rivalry
between brothers, plot twists, and action is
so well-planned and carried out, you can
visualize this as a movie. If you love young
adult vampire romance books with a strong
kick-butt heroine, this book series is for
you.

Teen Book Reviewer

Loved it! Very exciting storyline, can't

wait for the next one....

Ariana, early 20s.

Pulse is fast paced and intriguing, the

story has twists at every turn and the
ending leaves you open mouthed and
wanting more. Kailin did a wonderful job in
creating this vampire world.

Melissa Silva, The Bookshelf

Other Book Series Available from the

same author of PULSE

the phantom diaries

What happens to the Phantom after the tragedy at the

Paris Opera House is the basis for this fantastic tale of The
Phantom Diaries, loosely based on Gaston Leroux's
classic,

The Phantom of the Opera

, but with a new tale and

a modern twist. This new series for older teens and young
adults is told through the eyes of 18 year-old Annette
Binoche, who lands a job at the New York Metropolitan
Opera House as a seamstress' assistant only to become
the lead singer of the Opera House, with the help of the
mysterious, yet highly-seductive Phantom.

dark memories (the phantom diaries,

#2)

The evil presence has permeated every core of

Annette Binoche's life, attempting to destroy everything and
everyone she holds dear. Can she break free from its hold
and regain the trust of her friends and family? Eric is forced
to confront his past, while Annette is forced to decide on

her future. Will it include Eric, Aaron or Chace? Or no one
at all?

Wicked Woods

Briony had to move to Wicked Woods,

Massachusetts to live with her Great Aunt

Sophie after her family disappears on

vacation. The woods at the edge of Aunt

Sophie’s inn are filled with secrets and

inhabitants both seductive and deadly.

Among them is a beautiful boy name Fallon

who saves her one night in the woods. As

Briony gets closer to Fallon, she learns he

has a secret, as do most of the residents of

Wicked Woods…

Shimmer (Wicked Woods, #2)

In the small charming resort town known as Wicked

Woods, Massachusetts, lies an age-old secret. Newcomer
Briony Patterson, who has recently lost her parents and
younger brother, will soon find out what it is...

The Stoker Sisters

Two sisters... Born during the time of

Jane Austen... Set to marry for

advancement, but escaped their fates by

becoming vampires. Now vampires in the

21st century, hunted by a sect of rogue

hunters, the sisters meet a mysterious boy

who holds the key to their destinies.

Download a

FREE Copy of

Discussion Questions for PULSE

At

the EDGE

http://www.theedgebooks.com

Where you will find edgy books for

teens and young adults that would make

your heart pound, your skin crawl, and

leave you wanting more…

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Blood Burned

PULSE 3

Book 3 of 5

kailingow

Blood Burned (PULSE #3)

Published by THE EDGE

THE EDGE is an imprint of Sparklesoup LLC

Copyright © 2010 Kailin Gow

All Rights Reserved. No part of this book may be

reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means,
graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying,
recording, taping or by any information storage or retrieval
system, without the permission in writing from the publisher
except in case of brief quotations embodied in critical
articles and reviews.

For information, please contact:

THE EDGE at Sparklesoup

P.O. Box 60834

Irvine, CA 92602

www.sparklesoup.com

First Edition.

Printed in the United States of America.

ISBN-10: 1597489433

ISBN-13: 978-1597489430

DEDICATION

This book series is dedicated to all the nameless

volunteer blood donors, my doctor, and nurses at Las
Colinas Medical Center in Texas who helped me pull
through when I had suffered extreme blood loss, blacked
out, and nearly hit my head on the floor. Your team gave me
bags of blood for transfusion, which helped restore me to a
level of safety.

My body craved the blood to keep alive, yet the thought

of having to receive the blood from others because my own
body couldn't generate it fast enough, made me empathize
with vampires like Jaegar and Stuart.

When faced with death by blood loss, you realize how

precious that blood in your veins and that beat in your heart
are. Thank you blood donors around the world for providing
this pulse for me and everyone who may at one point or
another require your gift.

Sincerely,

Kailin

Prologue

Kalina screamed. Every wound in her body - recently

healed but still sore where Mal had thrust in those needles,
one by one – began to scream too, in an agony that
doubled her over and forced her to swallow down her tears.

Jaegar, no!

This wasn't happening, she tried to tell herself, forcing

herself to breathe as normally as possible. This wasn't real.
But through the connection she and Jaegar had forged, she
could see all that Jaegar saw, feel that all that Jaegar felt.
She saw Aaron, strapped down to a table next to Jaegar –
his eyes wide with terror and rage. She began to shudder,
uncontrollably, as she saw Jaegar begin to froth at the
mouth and tremble, as Mal began to inject him with the
entire contents of a vial of Kalina's blood.

Kalina knew what would happen next. She had been

warned many times of the danger, of what was destined to
happen if a vampire drank Kalina's blood without receiving
the gift of her love, if the blood was taken unwillingly, if...
Stuart had warned her, once, in a time that seemed like
decades or centuries ago, that it was better for Kalina to
attempt suicide than it was for her to allow any vampire to
drink down droplets of her blood. It would make any drinker
of the Life’s Blood into the most powerful creature

imaginable – and the most dangerous. The vampire would
be invincible – for a time, even entirely immortal – his limbs
refusing to cede to even the harshest silver or stake, his
skin unpierced, his eyes still shining with cruelty. But worse
still, the drinker would grow mad. The power of Life’s Blood
was too strong for any vampire to handle except the one
that the carrier had designated her true love – it would
overwhelm the senses, overwhelm the mind, overwhelm any
hint of rationality or reason, replacing it instead with cruelty
and chaos.

And now it was happening to Jaegar.
He had promised to love her, always. He had

promised to protect her. He had nearly given his life for her
on so many occasions, fighting off so many vampires that
had come in search of Kalina's blood – camps of individual
bounty hunters, enemies of the orderly Consortium, and
now at last Mal himself. And he had at last been caught, at
last surrendered.

Maybe...Kalina closed her eyes, refusing to let the

tears spill out. Maybe Jaegar would be strong enough to
resist the pull of her blood, strong enough to keep his mind
intact. Maybe it would be possible – because he loved her,
because he had promised to love her...

She flashed back to the moments they had shared

together. She remembered him when they first met, their
angry, flirtatious banter, the way she had smiled so sweetly
as she teased him, the way he had affected innocence after
using compulsion to get close enough to kiss her. The way
they had trade barbed insults hiding only the softest of

feelings, the sweetest of compliments. And they at last had
succumbed to their feelings that one night in the Sunrise
Motel, coming closer, ever closer, to what their bodies told
them they wanted, they needed more than anything...

And then Octavius had come into the picture, had

clouded everything. He had stolen her heart, and with it any
chance that she could love Jaegar as truly as he needed to
be loved in order for the spell to work for him, in order to
turn Jaegar human. Kalina had moved on – she knew – and
yet she had continued to care for Jaegar so deeply, so
strongly, that their minds were connected in telepathy after
their exchange of blood. She had drunk from him; now she
could feel his thoughts.

And she felt within herself what it was Jaegar felt, his

thoughts spilling over into her, his mind coming alive within
her own. She felt the cold needle prying into her own arm,
puncturing her own flesh. She felt her blood slowly
simmering into the veins – she felt the taste of it, which
began with a delicious shudder in the vein and then
somehow echoed itself on the tongue – the hot, sweet taste
of her own blood, like elderflower and vanilla, like
honeysuckle and sandalwood, a perfume that intoxicated
her even as she resisted the taste, the sense, the smell,
even as she told herself that this was wrong –
disgusting...no, it wasn't her thoughts at all. It was Jaegar
whom she sensed within her soul, it was Jaegar's fear, his
desire; it was Jaegar who relished the delectable sensation
of her blood filling his veins, his nose, his mouth, his throat,
overwhelmed by the flavor and the texture of the delicacy.

The desire took over his senses. The darkness

clouded this mind, sank into every pore of his body, turning
his thoughts ugly like the hideous monster he was to be.
This was what he had been waiting for. This is what he had
always wanted. He had forced himself to stop – out of
respect for Kalina, out of a desire to be chosen, to be
made human – and yet as the blood flowed into him he
knew with a certainty deeper than death that he had wanted
nothing more than this particular sensation, this particular
overflow of desire.

Kalina felt his thoughts running through her, sparking to

her brainwaves as if they were her own.

The blood filled him with delight, with a love unbounded

by restraint. He loved the blood, loved its strength, its
power. Almost as much as he had loved Kalina. How he
had wanted her – in those days when he had been good
enough to respect her, to wait! How he had longed for her –
how he had forced his fangs to remain behind his lips,
when he wanted nothing more than to sink them deep into
the milky whiteness of her throat! How he had longed to
force her down onto a satin bed and do to her what he had
done to so many women in the day – so many women who
would never think to refuse him, from whom he could gulp
down cupfuls of pleasure, who would in return thank him for
showing them sensations they had never heretofore known.

And Kalina had refused him! Moreover – she had

mocked him, offering herself to him only when it was too
late, when it was clear that she did not want him, but was
only using him as a mediocre substitute for Octavius, who

had broken her heart. Jaegar had only ever been a poor
second choice for her, a meager substitute for Octavius
and his centuries of experience, of wisdom, of skill in the
arts of sensuality.

Kalina could feel Jaegar's anger prickle and then burn

at this thought.

How dare she! How dare she! She felt him shudder.

That silly girl – that idiotic jejune twit – had dared to refuse
him! Jaegar! Who had conquered the hearts and limbs and
loins of girls for over seven hundred years! And he had
been such a fool, hadn't he? Fool enough to play the
gentleman, to wait for her to consent, to wait for her to
submit. When what he had always wanted was right there in
front of him, for him to take, for him to pluck! How easy it
would have been to grab hold of her wrists, to force her
down to her knees before him, to pull her hair back and
expose the snowy nakedness at her neck, to break that
delicate skin with the full force of his fangs!

And yet he had held back!

No, Jaegar,

Kalina pleaded,

you're stronger than this!

Please, I know you are! You're too strong – please be
stronger than this! Don't let this darkness...

But it was no use. Jaegar could not hear her. He only

lay upon the dank, sterile chair, struggling against his
bonds, as he felt the familiar effects of Life’s Blood at last
overtake him. His heart began to pump blood again, the
dead, black blood clotted in his heart at last moving through
him. He began to breathe – his chest heaving for the first
time in seven hundred years. Air was cool and fresh to him

time in seven hundred years. Air was cool and fresh to him
– it was like a drink of water for which he had been parched
for so long that the agonizing need had become habitual to
him, a native part of his existence. He felt the world around
him in a new light, a new way – the air was something he
could

breathe

, partake in. Excitement made his heartbeat

grow faster – and faster and faster until he thought it would
speed up like a spinning top into a blur of nothingness. He
grew warm – not just the pale anemic warmth he
experienced when feeding on a human's blood, but a
proper warmth that gave color to his cheeks and to his
extremities.

And then Jaegar stopped.
Could it be – was he a human?
Could it be that Kalina had really loved him, all this

time – even through Octavius, even through Stuart and
Aaron – loved him enough to have turned him human from
this distance, even in this condition? The thought of Kalina
loving him, choosing him, made his heart soar for a brief
moment. It was a happiness he thought he would never feel.

“No!” Aaron was shouting, over and over again, but

Jaegar drowned out the sound. “No!”

Mal was standing over him, a proud and triumphant

expression stern on his face. In a single, smooth motion, he
cut down Jaegar's bonds, and slinked out – vanishing into
the ether.

Was he free? Was he human? Jaegar began to twitch

his fingers – feeling the strange sensation of blood
complicating the reflexes of his muscles. He stood,

staggering at first, until strength returned to him fully. He
walked over to the window, where it was boarded up, and
instinctively – without thinking – tore the boards from the
window.

Aaron screamed as sunlight flooded the room, pouring

over Jaegar in a burning frenzy.

But it did not touch him.
It did not kill him. It did not even, as it had done when

Jaegar wore one of the Life’s Blood rings, pain him – a
pain like a slow and throbbing eternal sunburn, the pain he
had learned to get used to in order to live among humans,
during the day. This was entirely natural.

Could it be? Was he human? Had Kalina loved him

that much? Did he dare to hope?

There was only one way to find out. Jaegar's eyes

scanned the room quickly, until at last Jaegar had found
what he was looking for.

He took a rusty nail and, wincing, drew it across his

palm. A streak of blood appeared there, flowing loosely out
of the wound.

And then it stopped.
The blood vanished; the wound healed – the slender

incision vanishing into a sea of flesh.

He was not human. Kalina had not loved him. After all

he had done for the bitch, after all he had sacrificed for her
– after all he had given up – she had still not loved him! She
had still maintained the audacity to refuse him!

He grimaced, a cold grimace that turned into the smile.
Next time, he thought. Next time he would drain the

bitch dry.

Next time he would show no mercy.

Chapter 1

“No,” Kalina was whispering, “no, no, no!” She had

curled up on the floor, contorting into herself, a small,
quivering ball of flesh. It was too much, too much to bear.
First Octavius had left her – whispered his love to her and
then told her it was best if they part, for her own good, he
had said! And moments later, she had heard this missive
from Jaegar, the telepathic connection that she had once
thought of as a blessing, but which now was proving to be a
curse.

She could hear Jaegar's crazed voice echoing in her

head.

You little bitch – you think you can get away from

me? Stupid slut...I will find you, I promise you! And this
time I'll finish what I started. I'll make you enjoy it, you
little...

Stop! Stop! Jaegar!

“Stop!” Her emotions overflowed her capacity for

telepathy, and she began shouting the words around,
screaming into the air. “Stop it, please! Make it stop!” She
was shaking, sweat dripping into the carpet beneath her.
“Oct-” She clapped a hand over her mouth. She could not
call Octavius now, not moments after he had left her, after
he had broken her heart. He needed to track down Mal – he
needed to focus; he probably already knew what had
happened to Jaegar, for the two men shared a telepathic
bond of their own. She couldn't slow him down with

entreaties for him to comfort her.

“Kalina!” Stuart's voice echoed through her head as he

rose. “What's going on?” His voice was so kind, so soft –
so much like Jaegar's, as Jaegar's voice had once been,
whispering words of love into her neck and shoulders and
thighs.

“Jaegar...” she whispered, shaking so hard she

couldn't force the words out. “The vials – my blood...”

“What vials?”
“Mal – Mal took the vials.”
“Of your blood.” Stuart was kneeling before her, now,

his hands squeezing her shoulders tightly, trying to force her
into something like rationality. “The vials of your blood.”

“Yes!” Kalina shuddered.

You stupid girl – are you going to be a cocktease for

my brother? Just like you were for me?

She raised her hands to her ears, forcing them over

her, trying in vain to drown out the sound, a sound that there
was no way to drown out, no way to destroy, a sound
entering the very center of her soul.

“He drank...” Kalina looked into Stuart's eyes, unable

to bear the pain of what she would have to tell him next.
“Mal forced him to drink.”

“Forced who?”
“Jaegar!” Kalina began sobbing, brokenly, into Stuart's

shoulders. “He forced Jaegar...”

“He forced Jaegar to drink your blood?”
And then Kalina saw it. The stark, clear, agony

overwhelming Stuart's features, the fear as with every

second of understanding that passed, Stuart's brother was
lost to him, more and more...

“Is he okay?”
It was a stupid question. They both knew it was a

stupid question. But Stuart could not stand to give up hope.

Slowly, with agonizing finality, Kalina shook her head.
“I'm sorry,” she whispered. “Oh God, Stuart; I'm so

sorry...”

Octavius would have been able to fix this, she thought.

Octavius – with his dark, piercing eyes and olive skin, his
wisdom, his elegance, his strength, his ability to make her
feel that all was safe in the world, as long as she was in his
arms... Octavius had connected with her body, with her
blood – with her mind – providing her with the strongest
experiences of telepathy she had ever known, experiences
as extraordinary as they had been erotic. But he had gone
now, and she might never see him again. Last time he had
fought with Mal, Mal had almost killed him, even with the
most powerful vampires in the world – the Consortium – at
his back. And now they were dead, and Octavius might as
well be.

And Jaegar was gone too.
Another wave of pain broke over Kalina, and she

pressed her face to the cool marble floor, unable to
withstand the heat and agony overflowing in her heart.

If only Octavius hadn't sent her back here to Rutherford,

told her – begged her – to choose another, one of the
Greystone Brothers, the vampires he had made, whom he
loved enough to entrust with the woman he loved. Octavius

had told her only they could keep her safe – but if he hadn't,
then maybe Aaron and Jaegar would still be here...

“Mal has turned Jaegar...” Kalina whispered. “He's on

Mal's side now.”

“No,” said Stuart quickly. “I know – I know I've accused

him of a lot,” said Jaegar, “But he is my brother. He is not
evil.”

“Stuart, I'm sorry, but...”
“He's strong! He could have withstood the sickness,

the madness – I know he could!”

“Stuart, no!”
“He can fight it!”
“Stuart!” Kalina fell silent. “I can hear him in my head.

Hear the things he says to me. Filthy, cruel, sick, horrible
things...he wants to drain me dry, to kill me, to force me
to...”

“No!” Stuart's eyes widened. “That can't be. That's not

the Jaegar I know. That's not...that's not my brother. He
would stake himself before he let anything, anything happen
to you.”

Kalina calmed herself. At least now she could speak

clearly. “Whatever is in Jaegar's body now,” she said softly.
“It's not the Jaegar we know. It's not Jaegar at all.”

Stuart's mouth turned grim. “Then there is no hope?”

Stupid bitch – of course there's no hope! I've wanted

to do these things to you ever since I met you, ever since I
first saw your hot little body jogging along...

Kalina felt bile rise in her throat. “I am sure,” she said.

“Jaegar...Jaegar is dead.”

“I understand.” Stuart grimaced. “Then...we must do to

him...what we must do.” She could see him straining
against his own pain, willing himself to be strong.

“We must.”
“And Aaron?” Stuart's voice cracked. She did not think

he would be able to hear any more bad news, especially
concerning his little brother.

“I don't know,” said Kalina. She searched her

brainwaves for a sign – she could see only Aaron as
Jaegar had last seen him – his eyes wide with fear and pity
for his brother. “He's still alive, I think,” said Kalina. “And he
hasn't been turned, either. Mal must want him for
something.”

“Ransom?” Stuart asked. “Or...his nose.”
Aaron was the finest winemaker of any vampire. His

famous nose for blood had made him priceless to Octavius
– and even more priceless to Mal. Mal wouldn't risk driving
Aaron mad – Kalina thought – not if the madness would
interfere with Aaron's senses.

“You think he's looking for other carriers?” said Kalina.

She shuddered. “You think there

a r e

other carriers out

there?”

“I don't know.”
Images flashed through Kalina's mind – a table,

surrounded by vampires- a meeting, Aaron in chains.

She spoke as if possessed. “A vampire meeting!” she

shouted. “Mal is having Aaron smell the blood, my blood,
under vampire oath. To prove...”

“That it's Life’s Blood?”
“The real deal, yeah.” Kalina's voice shook as softly as

an echo.

“And then he'll want to sell off the rest of it...” Stuart's

voice trailed off. “And send Jaegar after you.”

“I'm the only carrier,” said Kalina mournfully.

“But...where do we go? What about Justin – and Maeve?”
Neither her brother nor her best friend knew how to defend
themselves against vampires.

“I don't know,” said Stuart. “The Winery – the Winery

isn't safe. It's been breached – Jaegar has an invitation
there. It's his house – we can't rescind it. You can rescind
the invitation to your house...”

“Then let's drive there.” Kalina forced herself to her

feet, leaning heavily on Stuart's arm. “As fast as we can!”

Stuart nodded curtly, forcing his face into neutrality.

She knew he wouldn't let her see his pain. His stoic reserve
was what she admired most about him – that impenetrable
strength that conquered all emotions.

Stuart walked her to the car, opening and closing the

door for her with gentlemanly reserve. What a lifetime it had
been, thought Kalina, since Stuart had last come to the
Calloway residence. He had taken care of Kalina when she
blacked out following the exhaustion of learning about
vampires – taken care of her for two whole days, watching
over her and bonding with her brother, Justin. They had
been dating, then, and everything had been new and
exciting, their relationship filled with so much promise! And
then they had screwed it up, both of them. Stuart had

withheld vital information from her – the curse of her
virginity, her destiny to remain chaste if she wanted her
blood to be able to engender humanity in vampires – and
sucked blood from Maeve, which had made Kalina so
jealous – Maeve could give her boyfriend what she could
not. And Kalina in turn had screwed it up too – leaving him
for Jaegar, then leaving Jaegar in turn for Octavius, so
overwhelmed was she by the novelty of her emotions, the
power of a vampire's embrace.

How simple things had been at the beginning, Kalina

thought as they began driving. How beautiful it had all been
– and how easy!

She placed her hand slowly, tentatively, in Stuart's – a

friendly gesture – trying somehow to express her anger, her
sorrow, her pain for all the difficulties that had passed
between them.

He took her hand and squeezed it.
“It'll be okay, Kalina,” Stuart said. His voice was only

shaking slightly. “We'll save them,” he said. “Aaron and
Jaegar both. I promise.”

“Of course we will,” said Kalina, forcing herself to

smile.

But she knew, as they drove on into the night, that

neither of them truly believed it.

Chapter 2

They conducted the drive home in silence. The car

sped through a night as thick and black as a starless sea,
the screech of the tires the only sound. Kalina leaned her
head on the window, feeling the cool glass press against
her cheek. She could feel Stuart beside her, his hands
clenched on the wheel, feel the pain he was trying too hard
not to express. She might not have had a telepathic
connection with him, but nevertheless she was able to feel
in some small measure what he felt, a reflection of her own
agony times a million fold. Could this really have happened
to Jaegar? Stuart's Jaegar – their Jaegar – her Jaegar?
That funny, arch trickster who had caused so much trouble,
and yet was always with the best of intentions, whose heart
was truly good despite his pretension to wickedness.

Kalina sighed heavily, and the sigh filled the car. She

watched the road speed on out the window and blinked
away her tears.

“Stop,” she said. “We…we should go to Maeve's

house, first. To warn her.”

“What?” Stuart's face was a mask of concern. He

turned towards her.

“Mal...when I was imprisoned – he looked into my

head. Trying to find the people I cared about. To use
them...against me. I don't want anything to happen to her.”

“I understand.”

He spun the car around instantly, the screech hot on

the pavement. Good old Stuart, Kalina thought. He was
always so quick to do the right thing; it was always so easy
for him. Even with everything that had happened between
them, with all the chaos and the trouble, he knew exactly
what the right thing was, and how to do it. Kalina sighed. If
only her own thoughts were so simple, as straightforward
as Stuart's. Her mind was so racked with guilt and
confusion – she had been so overwhelmed by her feelings
– that there was in the end nothing for her to do but force
the tears out of the corner of her eyes and try to stay calm.
This was her fault, she felt.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Stuart's voice – so calm,

like warm milk – broke the silence.

Kalina sighed again, then shrugged. It was too hard to

voice her thoughts.

“You okay?”
His concern was so deep, so well-meaning. Even

through his own pain he was thinking of her. She knew she
had to trust him with her thoughts.

“I think so,” she said. “I mean...everything that's

happened...”

“I know.”
She shot him a weak smile. “It's just – things were a lot

simpler before I met you guys.” She looked down.

“It's hard to tell what you're thinking,” said Stuart. “You

get this look on your face – you're so far away.”

She was in the recesses of dreamland, that labyrinth

Octavius had taught her to walk in, searching telepathically,

calling out his name...

“Funny,” said Kalina. “Jaegar wouldn't have said that.

Octavius...they can read my mind. If I let them. But you...”

“We haven't made that connection,” said Stuart. She

could see his lips whiten with the faintest hint of jealousy.

“No, not yet,” said Kalina. “But...why? I mean, I drank

Jaegar's blood. But with Octavius...it was before that. I
hadn't even drunk his blood when we were able to start
communication. And it's not like it was with Jaegar. With
him it was always fuzzy, like...like talking underwater, I
guess. But with Otavius...so clear!”

“You and he had...have...something special,” said

Stuart. “It's not normal.”

“When are vampires ever normal?” Kalina stared out

the window.

“Even

for

vampires.”

Stuart

began

to

look

uncomfortable. “Normally,” he said. “The telepathic
connection is done only through blood – like you and
Jaegar. You drank his blood, so you were able to connect
with his thoughts.”

“And Octavius?”
“You are the Carrier of Life’s Blood,” said Stuart. “The

rules for you are not like the rules for everybody else.
Nobody knows quite what you are. Half human – half
vampire? But you're not a dhampir like Aaron...not a halfling
in the technical sense.”

“I'm a mystery, I guess,” said Kalina. They fell silent.

She spoke up again. “And you and Maeve? Can you share
thoughts too?” Kalina flushed to remember how stupid and

jealous she had been about Maeve's relationship with
Stuart. She had asked Maeve to give blood to help save
Stuart's life – yet when she saw the two of them together,
partaking in that bloody ritual from she was excluded, the
pain of her necessary exclusion had clouded her better
judgment. “Don't worry,” said Kalina quickly. “I'm over all
that now. I'm not mad – I mean...I'm sorry.”

“I'm sorry too,” said Stuart. He looked closely at the

steering wheel.

“I talked to Maeve. She and I – well, we're best friends

again!” Kalina smiled. “She's a good friend.”

“Yes,” said Stuart. “I can imagine she would be.” Stuart

sighed. “I'm glad. That – we did not hurt you.” He shook his
head. “No, Maeve and I were never able to talk
telepathically. Not all vampires have that ability – only the
strongest. And even then they have to share blood...it is so
rare. But again, I must say, I think it is a question of your
blood. Life’s Blood does some incredible things – and
there is so much about the subject that vampires don't even
know!”

“Do you think...” Kalina's voice trailed off.
“Do I think what?”
“If I drank your blood, I mean. Do you think we'd get a

connection – telepathically?”

Stuart looked up. “What?”
“I want to be able to reach you,” said Kalina. “Wherever

you are. In case...” She flashed back to Mal's dungeon – the
terror, the smell of the damp and the sound of the mice
scurrying underfoot. She shut her eyes, trying to drown out

the image. “Now that Jaegar's gone – it's too dangerous if I
can't communicate with you.”

“That makes sense,” said Stuart, but his voice was

wary.

“I just...if Mal comes after us...” Kalina's eyes began to

water. The very thought of Mal – his cruel smile – his
sadistic glee in torturing her for hours upon hours – made
her begin to shake.

“It's all right.” Stuart leaned in closely, putting an arm

about her shoulders. His touch calmed her; his eyes were
warm and full of love. They made her feel safe – protected.
“I won't let that happen to you again, Kalina. I promise. Even
if it means...” He took a deep breath. “I want you to drink,”
he said. “But please – please don't hate me...afterwards.”

Kalina raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”
“Just do it!” Stuart snapped. “Before I change my

mind.”

He bit into his wrist; Kalina could see rivulets of blood

emerging from the wounds. “Drink!” Stuart's voice was
harsher than she was accustomed to – hot and angry with
desire.

She closed her eyes and inhaled. The scent of the

blood was intoxicating; it swamped her nostrils, her mouth,
her whole world. Against herself, she leaped upon him –
forcing him to swerve the car to the side of the road –
pressing her lips into the cut, drinking down every droplet of
the blood. She could not see; she could not hear; she could
not think. She could only moan softly as she lapped up each
trickling droplet, turning her lips a dark shade of purple as

she rubbed her cheeks and lips against the cut.

At last she opened her eyes, only to see Stuart's face

contorted in something like agony. She stopped
immediately. Had she hurt him? Killed him? She forced her
mouth away from the wound, shuddering with the effort.

“Stuart? Are you all right?”
“Don't talk.” His voice was harsh and cold.

“Just...don't...talk.”

They sat in silence for a while, Kalina clapping a hand

over her mouth. At last Stuart turned towards her. “I am
sorry,” he said. “For my behavior just then. But – the
sensation of you...there. It was...overpowering. I was afraid
if I allowed myself to open my eyes, to see – hear – smell
you – I would not be able to restrain myself.”

His eyes remained closed.
“Right now, I want nothing more than to bite you back,”

he said. “My desire for you has been multiplied a
thousandfold.” He sighed deeply. “Right now, I want you
more than anything – and I can't – I

can't

have you. And it's

killing me that I can't.”

“Stuart...” Kalina said softly.
“No, I agreed to this! I told you you could have my

blood!”

“You knew it would do this to you?”
He nodded. “A worthwhile price to pay for your life.

An...exercise of my willpower.” He scoffed. “No, you’re
Octavius’… had been from the start. Your heart – your
mind. The last time my brother and I tried to keep you from
Octavius...we were wrong to do so. We kept you from your

destiny – for our own selfish reasons. Love, bloodlust – I
don't know. We betrayed our maker. It was unforgivable.
But I can’t help this want, Kalina. I’m fighting it with
everything I’ve got.”

His eyes were still squeezed shut.

Stuart, can you hear me?

She probed softly.

Somehow his concern for her, his self-sacrifice, made her
feel closer to him than ever.

Yes...

The sound was tentative, afraid.

Stuart, open your eyes.

No answer.

Stuart, look at me. It's okay.

She squeezed his hand. At last, tentatively, he let one

eyelid flutter open. She could see the darkness of desire in
his eyes.

We'll work on this together, okay? You and me – both

of us. We'll make sure you can control this. I'll help you.

Stuart nodded.

I need you with me. I can't lose you, too.
Okay.

This time his telepathic voice was strong and deep. He

broke into normal speech. “Look, Kalina – I'm not like
Jaegar is – was. I don't act on impulse. But that does not
mean my desires are any less strong – any less
pronounced than his. My blood seeks yours. It’s the
strongest hunger I’ve ever encountered.”

“I am the Carrier,” said Kalina.
“It started before I met you,” said Stuart. “It began when

Octavius first heard of you – first began seeking for you –
this longing. He is my maker – I feel what he feels, want
what he wants. My desire for you is a reflection of his – I
know this. When Aaron sent me his message to come back
to Rutherford to protect you, I was already half in love with
you. Then I met you, and you were the dream I’ve always
had of the woman… but you were already Octavius’. He
had mentioned you over and over again how he must find
you. Logically, I know this. But it does not make the
sensation for me any less real – any less agonizing...”

She cut him off, reaching out a hand to touch his hand,

to show…

He jumped away from her, opening his eyes, his fangs

elongated. “Don’t touch me!”

“I’m sorry!” Kalina gasped. “I want you to know how I

feel…”

I understand, please don’t or I can’t help what I’ll do

next.

Before Kalina could blink, Stuart was poised on top of

her, his arms encircling her, his fangs bared. His eyes were
filled with deep desire so great it kindled Kalina’s already
burning skin. Kalina could feel his blood within her react
with her hormones, stirring up her latent desire for him, his
touch, his kiss.

She looked into Stuart’s eyes, and felt her mouth

parted and her tongue lick her lips in anticipation.

“Oh,” Stuart groaned. “Octavius will kill me…”
Octavius’ name brought some sense into Kalina’s

mind. Then it brought pain…he no longer wanted her. She

was free to choose anyone she wanted.

“It’s okay, Stuart,” Kalina said. “Octavius and I are no

longer. He wants me to choose another…”

Stuart’s eyes blaze with hope as he descended to take

Kalina’s mouth with his own.

Chapter 3

At last Stuart and Kalina arrived at Maeve's house. It

was after midnight, and Kalina worried what would happen
if it was Maeve's mother, rather than Maeve herself, who
answered the door. How could Kalina explain away the
blood on her shoes – the blood stains trickling at the end of
her mouth, Stuart – who looked even more vampire-like
than ever with the blossoming of his desire. They had
kissed passionately, his mouth tasting hers, while he held
her close, his face strained with his strong need. She had
kissed him fervently back, all her pent up feelings for him
combined with her need to comfort him. Finally, not being
able to hold back, he darted out of the car panting…before
Kalina could blink.

Now she stood far apart from Stuart, whose eyes still

held hers with unspoken desire and longing. Kalina turned
to look ahead. She mustn’t think of what just happened or
both of them would never get to Maeve’s. At the corner of
her eye, she saw Stuart flinched, now telepathically-
connected to Kalina, being able to see in her mind’s eye
that passionate scene.

Please Kalina, you’re torturing me. Think of

something else.

She thought of the task ahead. It won’t be easy telling

Maeve about everything. She sighed and rang the doorbell.

Here's to hoping, right?

She said to Stuart. He

nodded curtly back at her. Kalina could see how hard he
was trying not to let her see his ferocious desire for her,
despite his kiss, and she tactfully looked away. She
respected his efforts, even as she could not deny the
sensation of being so hotly – so tantalizingly – desired
thrilled her. The kiss did nothing to quench this desire…but
to fuel it. Above all things, however, she felt compassion for
Stuart, for his predicament. Octavius had said once that if
any vampire was to become human, it should be Stuart –
he had never wanted to shoulder the burdens of blood or
immortality. Could she love Stuart the way he needed to be
loved in order for the spell to work? She would have
drained herself dry if it meant giving Stuart any chance at
humanity. He deserved it – perhaps he deserved it most of
all. His goodness, his self-sacrifice, so often went
unacknowledged in the presence of his flashier, sexier
brother Jaegar.

I guess we all go for the bad boys, Kalina thought to

herself, and then straightened up, hoping Stuart had not
heard her thoughts. He did not seem to change expression.

At last Maeve answered the door. “Guys?” She

furrowed her brow. “What's going on?” She caught sight of
the blood on Kalina's shirt and Stuart's sleeves. “Holy...are
you guys okay? Come inside.” She ushered them in.
“Mom's passed out upstairs.”

“What is it this time?”
“Diazepam.” Maeve rolled her eyes. “At least you have

someone used to playing doctor.” She gave a wry laugh.

“What's going on, Kalina? You vanished for the last week of
school. The principal said you were at a math Olympiad –
but...that didn't sound like you, somehow.”

Kalina had always wanted to be a history major.
“I...” Where could she begin? How could Kalina even

start to regale Maeve with the tales of Octavius – how he
had taken her to Paris and Rome, made her fall in love with
him, offer to... how she had lost him – how could Kalina tell
her about Stuart and Jaegar and Aaron and everything that
had happened since they last talked.

“I just...can I sit down?” Kalina said at last.
“Of course!” Maeve rushed to get Kalina a chair.
“Let's just say,” said Kalina, “my trip was cut short.

Because of a vampire. A very dangerous vampire. A
vampire called Mal.”

“Please,” Stuart cut in. “Kalina – you've had to deal

with enough for one day. Do you mind...would it be better
if...I explained?”

Kalina shot him a grateful smile.
Stuart was far better able than Kalina was to contain

his emotions – indeed, Stuart was better at being stoic
when the moment required it than anybody else Kalina had
ever met. He spoke in a crisp, clear monotone, telling
Maeve about Kalina's visit to Octavius, the arrangement the
Greystone Brothers had made with Octavius, about the
murder of the Consortium in Rome and Kalina's
subsequent abduction in Paris. Kalina sat staring at her
lap, her hands scratching and fidgeting at each other.
Stuart told the whole story – as clearly and accurately as he

could – but there was so much he left out! The beauty of
that first night in Paris, after the opera – the way Kalina had
succumbed to Octavius... the romance, that kiss upon the
bridge – Kalina's fear, her pain, her torment as she had
slowly come to realize her love for Octavius.

“Kalina?” Maeve was saying. Kalina whirled into

action.

“What? What is it?”
“Are you okay? You just...you went really red all of a

sudden.”

“Yeah, I'm okay.” Kalina looked down. “It's just been a

really rough couple of weeks.”

Stuart at last came to the conclusion of his story.
“Wow,” said Maeve, staring out into space.

“Just...wow.”

“So you see,” Stuart concluded. “You must be as

vigilant as possible. You cannot open your door to anybody
– and never, above all things, invite anybody you do not
know in. Tell your mother to do the same.”

“My mother's never awake,” Maeve rolled her eyes.
“Mal is as dangerous and invincible as creatures of

your nightmares,” said Stuart. “He is mad – as a hatter –
and willing to stop at nothing to get to Kalina. And this puts
you in danger, too. Because Kalina cares for you.”

“Kalina, I'm so sorry,” said Maeve, putting her hand on

Kalina's knee. “You must have gone through so much.”

Kalina was struck at Maeve's selflessness. She was

the only friend in her old social circle who stuck by her when
she grew distant and closed herself off following Aaron’s

death. Kalina couldn’t handle the fake friendships she had
developed over the years with some of the girls on her
squad and circle. Maeve was the only true friend that she
had, and it took Aaron’s death to find out. Had somebody
told her, Kalina, that she was in grave danger because of
her friend's blood, she would have been furious – seeking
somebody to blame for her predicament. But here was
Maeve, more concerned with Kalina's captivity than her
own safety. Maeve had always been such a good friend –
and Kalina had taken her for granted for so long, accepting
unquestioningly that Maeve was happy to cede to Kalina
the spotlight in everything – cheerleading, academics,
popularity. Kalina looked down and resolved to try to be
more like her best friend.

She saw Stuart and Maeve sitting next to each other

and smiled to herself. Perhaps she was wrong to be
jealous, but she could certainly see these two kind, selfless
people making a life together. It was a happiness she felt
both deserved.

Stuart continued explaining the Life’s Blood mythology

to Maeve.

“Wow,” said Maeve again.
“So you see – who it is that Kalina loves is of the

utmost importance. For she will fall in love with a vampire –
she must.”

“So, you're destined to love a vampire!” Maeve's eyes

opened wide. “That's so trippy!”

Kalina colored, unsure of what to say. “It's...a family

thing,” she said at last.

“A family thing?” Maeve furrowed her brows. “I thought

you were...”

“Adopted? Yeah, I am. But my birth parents – my birth

family. I'm from this, like, long line of vampires and
humans.”

“Together?”

Maeve's

eyes

widened

further.

“Having...

sex

?”

“And vampires-turned-humans,” said Kalina. “Because

of the Life’s Blood.”

“Wow.” Maeve considered. “Is that why I had to give

Stuart my blood, then? Why you couldn't do it?”

The memory of how useless, how angry Kalina had felt

came back to her and turned her cheeks crimson. But
Kalina forced down her jealousy. “Yes,” she said softly.
“That is why. I would have given Stuart my blood if I could.”
She took Stuart's hand and squeezed it tightly. “For
everything he's done – he and his family – I would have
gladly given Stuart my blood.”

Stuart smiled back at her, gratefully. He had found it

easier, it seemed, to quell his desire when Maeve was in
the room. At that moment, Kalina felt that whatever strange
relationship she and Stuart had was something more than
mere friendship. It was a blood bond, the bond of true kin –
a loyalty that had transcended this era, transcended time. It
was the loyalty of the days of Stuart and Jaegar's lives, the
Medieval chivalry in which a knight would serve his lady with
no hope of romantic reciprocation, only the courtly ideal.
Knights would stand by their ladies. Jaegar and Stuart were
knights from the Middle Ages, and that chivalrous love for

their chosen lady, Kalina, had not diminished through the
ages. Knights would stand by their king. Kalina thought of
Octavius, then, and sighed. The pain of that wound was still
fresh.

“I hope Jaegar and Aaron are okay,” said Maeve – a

bit awkwardly.

She's taking this so well,

said Kalina to Stuart. She let

him feel her relief. She had been so afraid Maeve would be
angry.

She's strong,

Stuart replied.

You're lucky to have a

friend like her.

“I know,” said Kalina out loud.
“You know what?” Maeve turned to her.
“I'm lucky,” said Kalina. “To have a friend like you. I

just…don't want you to get hurt. For my sake.”

“Well,” said Maeve, “How do you protect yourself?”
Kalina and Stuart exchanged looks.
“So you don't get hurt,” said Maeve. “I want to know

how to kill one of these things. If I'm in danger, the least I
want to do is fight back. I want to know how to use a stake –
or garlic – or mirrors, or whatever it is you use.”

“A stake,” said Stuart and Kalina, in unison.
“Okay, a stake then,” said Maeve. “Point is, I just want

to make sure you can leave me alone without me getting
myself killed. Teach me- whatever it is you know. Self-
defense.” She laughed. “Karate. Something.”

“Well, you're a cheerleader,” said Kalina dryly. “You’re

athletic and quick. That's a nice start.”

But she could hear what Stuart was thinking, and she

felt the same thing. She could teach Maeve self-defense,
and it might be enough to stave off a few of the less
experienced vampires – enough to get rid of the average
bounty hunter or newborn looking for someone to suck dry.
But if Jaegar or Mal came along, Kalina knew, there was no
fighting either of them and expecting to come out alive.

And all would surely be lost.

Chapter 4

So it began that Kalina remained for a time with

Maeve. It was a simple matter getting permission – Kalina
explained to Maeve's mother that she didn't want to remain
alone in the house when Justin was away, given what had
happened to Aaron and Maeve – and Maeve's mother in
turn replied with a long, slow nod, only slightly dulled by
haze. She wasn't sure that uninviting Jaegar from her house
would work – Stuart warned her that the process was tricky,
and often required a full mental self-possession that he
wondered aloud if Kalina possessed when it came to
Jaegar.

“Deep down,” he said gravely, “you care for him. You

want him to come into the house – but as the Jaegar you
know. The Jaegar you remember. The Jaegar you...” His
voice trailed off and he looked down. “The Jaegar you
love,” he said at last, forcing himself to sound as light and
casual as possible.

“I understand,” said Kalina. The idea scared her. Could

her feelings really so interfere with her powers of self-
defense? If she couldn't even keep Jaegar out of her own
house, how would she expect to fight him off when the time
came – how could she expect to stake him if she had to?
She didn't want to think about it. The thought filled her with
disgust, with dread. And yet she knew there was a chance
it would come to that. She would want so badly to help

Jaegar, to turn him back to the side of the good, to
convince him to look into himself...but, as Stuart reminded
her, his face grim and full of despair, every second that she
spent reasoning with him was another second giving him
the option to kill her.

She tried to shut him out of her mind, so afraid that he

would be able to see her location, to find her.

Kalina

, the voices came at night.

I will find you. I will

taste you. I will drink you. I will suck you dry.

And she woke up in tears.
All the same, being with Maeve made everything feel

better. Somehow having Maeve around, with her soft brown
eyes and sweet disposition, was like having some
grounding in the real world, one foot in the land of safety
and happiness. When they were sitting on Maeve's terrace
drinking lemonade, weeding together in the back garden
and feeling the cool January breeze ripple over their faces,
it felt like there could be no vampires in existence at all.
This was the real world, Kalina thought, the world she had
left behind. A world of garden weeds and lemonades, of
Maeve's Cape Cod-style cottage and cups of tea in the
morning.

And then Maeve asked if they could start practicing

self-defense.

“Maeve...” Kalina hated the idea. It meant somehow

that all this was real – that Maeve really was in danger, that
they were both really and truly in danger. She shook her
head.

“It's not going to change anything,” said Maeve, “you

know that. If we forget about the vampires, it doesn't mean
that they'll forget about us.”

“I know,” said Kalina darkly. That night they went out

into the garden, practicing moves that Kalina knew Maeve
would need to defeat any vampires.

“Okay,” said Kalina, “so it's like this. You need to be

able to use a stake in both hands.”

“But I'm right-handed.”
“Doesn't matter. If a vamp pins you down with one

hand, you need to be able to use the other. I like to try
throwing the javelin with both hands – it helps my aim.”

Kalina showed Maeve all the tricks that Stuart had

originally taught her – the seemingly innocuous water gun
loaded with holy water, the sharp crosses - a Catholic
variant on the ninja star – and of course the stakes
themselves, sharpened and primed to sink deep into the
heart of any vampire brave enough to challenge them.

Maeve was an easy enough study. Her years of

cheerleading had made her athletic, lithe, and strong. But
she did not have Kalina's blood in her – the Life’s Blood
that gave her properties of a vampire. She was only a
human, resolutely a human even at her strongest and most
hardworking. It was a fact that gave Kalina pause. She
even found herself being snappish to Maeve, impatient with
Maeve's errors, her difficulty learning, her mistakes.

She wasn't used to humans, she realized. She wasn't

used to human error – human slowness, humans making
mistakes. She had almost come to think of herself as a
vampire – as the Carrier, child of humans and vampires

alike – she was given entry into the world of the
supernatural; she had been able to pass into the

Bibliotheque Supernaturel

in Paris. She hadn't even

spoken

to a true human in weeks. Suddenly Maeve –

stumbling over a karate move; tripping up over her own
stake, missing the target on an accuracy and aiming
exercise – seemed so strange to her, so foreign. So
i mpossi bly

human

! Kalina found herself instinctively

irritated at Maeve's failures. No wonder vampires found
human beings such easy prey, she thought! They really
couldn't defend themselves at all!

Kalina immediately chided herself for her thoughts.

She was only scared, she told herself – afraid for Maeve,
afraid for all the humans she cared about. And yet, through
all this, Kalina could not help but feel that there was
something different about her, something changed. She
had gone so deeply into the world of vampires that she had
become one of them; humans were strange to her –
different.

She remembered then what Octavius had said to her

about her humanity. He had been so eager to get her away
from the world of vampires, to let her grow up, get an
education, get a life of her own outside of the world he had
forced her into. Was this what Octavius had feared?
Divorcing her from her human life, her human compassion
– forcing her to feel like this kind of outsider, always?

And yet Octavius was too late. Now Kalina had the

worst of both worlds – torn between the safe and serene

beauty of the human world, and the dark mystery of her
vampire life. She felt that both worlds were now foreign to
her, both strange, and yet she could not fathom either of
them.

“What's up?” asked Maeve, as they sat on the porch

after one of their latest workout sessions.

“There's this guy,” Kalina began, sighing heavily.
“A guy? Spill...”
“When I was away in Rome.Another vampire...the one

who made Jaegar and Stuart. And Aaron.”

“Something happened between you two?”
“I don't know,” said Kalina. She sighed. “I mean – it did

happen. I mean...oh, I don't know what I mean! He was the
reason the others found me – he sent for me. He'd been
searching centuries for the Carrier. And he took me away
with him.”

“He

kidnapped

you? Kalina – that's awful!” Maeve was

both angry and concerned. Why didn’t you try to tell me…
why did I just found this out now?

“No, it wasn't like that. He just...he was a perfect

gentleman. He asked for a week of my time, no strings
attached.”

“And you

went with him

?”

“I had to find out about my heritage – about Life’s

Blood. And...it was the best week of my life. We went to
Rome – to Paris! We saw the world! We talked about
music, opera, philosophy, art...it was like a dream.”

“Opera, huh,” said Maeve, looking down. “Exciting.”
“We saw

Tosca

at the Opera Garnier in Paris! We

“We saw

Tosca

at the Opera Garnier in Paris! We

went to the Ancient Roman Forum! We had gelato – well, I
had gelato – in Piazza Navona at night. We walked through
the streets of the city...oh, Maeve, it was amazing!”

“Sounds it,” but Maeve's voice was dull, even hollow.
“We're – we're in a complicated place right now,” said

Kalina.

“How old is he?”
“He was twenty-seven when he was turned...”
“

Twenty-seven!

”

“But he's around two thousand years old now.”
“Kalina! He’s as old as Justin…” Maeve rose before it

sunk in. “He’s two thousand years old?”

Kalina sighed, remembering how Octavius brought

everything to life for her in Rome. “He was there when
civilization was formed, long before America, long before
everything you and I have ever seen. He has seen and done
so much. And when you see him…he must have been the
model for all those ancient statues you see from Roman
times. He embodies masculinity itself. Every scent of him,
his voice, his eyes, his body…”

Maeve raised an eyebrow. “I hope you didn't do

anything stupid.”

“No – I mean...we…”
“Did you have sex with him?” Maeve asked.
Kalina was taken aback by Maeve’s bluntness. “I think

I’m in love with him!” Kalina's voice shook. “We didn’t go all
the way. We couldn’t, not with my Life’s Blood, not with the
spell, but he knew how to make me feel…um…satisfied.”

Kalina bit her lip, feeling awkward talking about what she
and Octavius had in front of Maeve. “Only – he said...we
can't be together. Because he can't become human.”

“Why not?”
“Because it's too dangerous! He can't protect me! He

thinks it's unfair to take me away from the human world.”

“Well,” said Maeve. “He's right.”
Kalina was shocked. “

What

?”

“He is!” Maeve put her hands on her hips. “With all the

crazy stuff you've been going through lately, the last thing
you need is

another

vampire to worry about. Last time we

talked, you were dealing with Stuart and Jaegar – not to
mention Aaron – and now you're in love with some

other

vampire? I mean, Kalina, make up your mind! If Octavius
said to forget him…forget him.”

“It's not as simple as that!” But Kalina knew how silly

her explanations would appear to an outsider. “He may say
to forget him, but my whole body, mind, and blood seek
him, seek Jaegar, Stuart, and even Aaron. The reason I
was in love – or thought I was – with Stuart and Jaegar and
Aaron – it was because of Octavius! He's their maker! His
blood was running through them...they feel what he feels for
me. It may be because of the combination of their original
blood with Octavius’ which caused this attraction. I don’t
know. All I know is that I have blood that attracts these
vampires to me, and I’m attracted to them too…”

“That's crazy!” cried Maeve.
“It's not crazy,” Kalina pleaded. “It's just how this

is...Life’s Blood will attract vampires to me, and I will fall in

is...Life’s Blood will attract vampires to me, and I will fall in
love with one of them, turn him human…”

“Look,” said Maeve. “This – this vampire thing – it's

threatening all of us...the last thing you should be doing is
worrying about saving them!”

“But what about Stuart?”
“Stuart?” Maeve's face fell. “Well, Stuart's different.

And he hates being a vampire – he thinks it's evil, cruel,
horrible...he wants to be human! Doesn't that just prove my
point?”

“What point?”
“That vampires are evil.”
Kalina's face fell. How could she tell Maeve that she

was from vampires? Didn’t she already told her she was
from a line of vampires-turned-humans or did Maeve
refused to see her as anyone or anything other than same
old Kalina, just one of the girls at school?

“Look,” she said. “I've gotta go to bed, okay? I'm tired.”
“Fine!” Maeve looked away. “If you want to put your life

in danger, I'm not going to stop you!”

“Fine!” echoed Kalina.
“I just think you're being really stupid, okay?” said

Maeve. “You're putting all our lives in danger because of
your obsession with vampires!”

“It's not an obsession!” cried Kalina. What has gotten

into Maeve? She was supportive when Stuart was around,
but now? Didn’t Maeve hear anything she’s been telling her
about Life’s Blood? Having it run through her veins is both a
blessing and a curse. “I can't help it. Look, they came after
me, okay?”

me, okay?”

“Because you're so special!” Maeve scoffed. “Oh, I'm

sorry – I forgot! You're the Carrier! So you're the most
super-special, super-important snowflake in the world!
Everyone loves you – because you're the Carrier!”

“It isn't like that, Maeve! I never wanted this. For

goodness sakes, you knew Aaron, too, and had I known or
anyone known he was a vampire, I would never have…
Look, Maeve, I love you and all, but this has nothing to do
with me being special. It has everything to do with
accepting me for who or what I am. Accepting who Aaron
was, too, and Stuart. I didn’t know Aaron was a vampire,
neither did you, and yet we all loved him and accepted
him.”

“I wouldn’t if I knew he was one…and he brought

danger to Rutherford and everyone I cared about…” Maeve
started then she lifted her hands in a sign of “enough!” and
headed for her bedroom.

Kalina trudged up the steps to the guest room and

went to bed, trying to quell her anger with the counting of
sleep. Perhaps no human would understand the effects
Life’s Blood had on vampires. Humans, in general, have a
hard time believing there were vampires at all. Until they
actually see one, then they believe…like Maeve. But then
Maeve had resorted back to trying to deny there were
vampires. Stuart was fine with her – they had shared blood,
and he appeared human, but in reality, he was just as
vampire as Jaegar, Octavius, and even Mal. Kalina shook
her head. No wonder why supernatural creatures thought
humans were weak…humans refused to see the truth

humans were weak…humans refused to see the truth
before them before it’s too late. Their minds refused to
open up to see if there were possibilities out there beyond
their common beliefs. So…vampires not as good as the
Greystone Brothers and Octavius could easily come along
into Rutherford, pick off each human, even openly attack a
group of cheerleaders and still get away with it. With that
kind of mentality of denial, how can people defend
themselves against them…the vampires… when they don’t
even believe in them?

The stress of waiting for something to happen, of

fearing about whatever was about to happen with Mal or
Jaegar or other vampires who had descended on
Rutherford, was getting to sweet Maeve and Kalina. She
was strained with anxiety.

As she began to fall asleep, drifting into dreamland,

she heard a voice.

Kalina.

She stirred.

Octavius.

Chapter 5

May I come in

? Octavius asked her. Kalina knew it

wasn't anything he had to ask – for Kalina had given him
permission long since to enter the world of her mind –
those secret places and recesses where her thoughts
danced and twisted within her. She had loved him; she had
opened herself up to him. And yet he would not enter
without her word.

Yes.

She had missed him so much – wanted him so badly.

Every day without him had been filled with the same
strangling uncertainty, the same grief – undisclosed, held
so tightly within her that she thought she would burst. She
had woken up mornings, sobbing, missing him, bowled
over by a grief so profound that rising itself felt beyond her
– and she had forced herself beyond it anyway.

She had not allowed herself to be weak for him, no, not

ever for love. She had not allowed herself to falter. But now,
as she saw Octavius before her, the full memory of what
she had been missing struck her, and Kalina shuddered.
Her slender frame shook with emotion.

Octavius was as handsome and beautiful as she

remembered him. His hair was still long and dark brown,
tinged with light rays of copper and gold. His eyes were still
the color of burnt pecans – soulful and mysterious – and his
skin still smooth and marble, the color of milky coffee.

Kalina felt her whole body respond to the sight of him,
curling around her desire, filled with love.

Where are you?
I cannot say.

Octavius looked grave.

I am afraid the

information is too dangerous to place in your mind, in
case Jaegar...Mal...

I understand.

Oh, she understood! Her rational mind

understood! But at his refusal Kalina felt a pang of sudden
sadness that cut her to the quick.

Have you found him?

Kalina couldn't bear to say the

name – either name. She was afraid speaking it aloud
would bring them forth – invading her mind, her body, her
soul.

No.

Octavius' face was stony and downcast.

I wish...I

wish I had. I have been tracking signs of them all across
Europe.

You think they're in Europe?

Jaegar and Aaron – across the sea – so far from her!

Kalina's pain redoubled.

I have found hints...
Are they..

Kalina did not say “dead,” but Octavius

heard her. It was telepathy, after all, and she could hide so
little from him; this was not the realm of normal speech.

I believe Aaron is alive.

Kalina's heart leaped.

Mal wishes to keep Aaron alive to search for other

Carriers. It appears that it is rumored that there are others
– and they have distracted Malvolio for the time being, as

is the sale of your blood. He believes that by selling off
the vials he has now, he can create a loyal army who will
in turn come for you – rather than risking the adventure on
his own.

Does that buy us time?

Kalina's heart began to pound as she remembered the

prison – her pain – her fear.

Not enough.

Kalina began shaking, the pain of her loss and her love

overwhelming her. In a few quick, straightforward steps,
Octavius came towards her, taking her in his arms. He
smelled so good, so powerful, like the musk of a forest after
the rain. In real life his heart did not pound, but in her dream
she could hear his heartbeat, flickering and pounding,
ultimately alive, beating in synchronicity with her own.

Don't worry, my darling,

said Octavius.

Aaron will be

safe for the time being. His nose is one of the most
powerful skills a vampire can have. Mal is not stupid
enough to throw that away in a fit of rage – angry though
he may be. As long as Aaron is useful, he will remain
alive.

And Jaegar?

The name shook her to the core.

I am sorry.

Octavius stroked Kalina's hair softly.

As

long as...ever since he became invincible, he has
developed his own powers of telepathy. He can no longer
be located with a simple prick of the mind, as it were. He
has learned to block himself off from his maker. I do not
know where he is.

Could he be...here?

Octavius sighed. His face contorted with pain.

I know

how he feels about you, Kalina. I know what he wants. He
will want to come after you – with or without Malvolio. Mal
removed all traces of his inhibition, his humanity – and,
as much as he hated to admit it, Jaegar always had some.
He never violated you – as many vampires would have –
in either sense of the word.

He sighed.

You have been

lucky, Kalina – not to encounter these types of vampires.
They...they are truly monsters.

At last Octavius could resist it no longer. He cupped

Kalina's face in his hands, letting his fingers trail slowly
down her cheeks. She moaned at the touch, closing her
eyes and allowing his fingertips to brush past her lips, her
nose, her eyelids. Her lashes fluttered under him.

I do not want you to live in fear, Kalina,

said Octavius.

I care too deeply for you for that. You cannot be a prisoner
of your fear – of my fear – of this story and this saga. If I
had wanted to keep you mired in these vampire troubles, I
would not have…

His voice trailed off, racked with

irrepressible pain.

I have asked my best guards from the

villa in Beverly Hills to look after you.

Bodyguards?
You will be safe. These are the best men in America.
Can you trust them?

She knew her Life’s Blood would

complicate the situation of any vampire. Would they try to
steal her for themselves, as the Greystone Brothers had
done?

They know you are mine

, said Octavius.

They will not

try anything with you.

Yours?

The world hung upon the air! Kalina's heart leaped at

it. She had wanted for so long, so badly, to be “yours,” to
belong body and soul to Octavius – he had rejected her. He
had loved her too much…or maybe he had not loved her
enough...

Always

, Octavius’ voice was shaking.

But he had left her! Kalina could not bring herself to

believe it. Even after what he had said, about breaking it off
with her for her own safety, Kalina could not believe it. If he
had only loved her enough, if he had only wanted her
enough, if he had only cared for her enough, then nothing
else would have mattered! He would have risked everything
for her – never mind the cost!

That is not true!

Kalina started.

What isn't?

He had heard her thoughts. In this realm of dreams

there was such a fine line between thought and speech,
between what was hers alone and what was theirs.

If I had loved you less,

said Octavius,

I would have

been selfish. I would have wanted you with me. But...I love
you too much to let you sacrifice your life – your self -your
beauty and intelligence and youth and potential – for a
vampire like me – a worthless vampire. I love you too
much to let you down – to become human and in doing so
lose my ability to protect you – and those like you – and

those you love.

But...

Kalina's voice trailed off. Surely this could not be

the answer! Surely this could not be the ending! Love
conquered all – she

knew

love conquered all – and she

could not fathom a world in which love could ever be
impossible.

I am reminded,

said Octavius – softly –

of a poem. A

poem written by one Richard Lovelace.

A poem?
You like poetry, don't you, Kalina?

In Paris and in

Rome he had read her the works of Tennyson and
Shakespeare, T.S. Eliot and Coleridge, sitting by the
Seine, walking in Piazza Navona. It had been some of the
most beautiful time of her life.

I do.

Octavius gave a deep sigh and recommenced

stroking her hair.

TELL me not, sweet, I am unkind
That from nunnery
Of thy chaste breast and quiet mind,
To war and arms I fly.

True, a new mistress now I chase,
The first foe in the field;
And with a stronger faith embrace
A sword, a horse, a shield.

Yet this inconstancy is such

As you too shall adore;
I could not love thee, dear, so much,
Loved I not honor more.

When Octavius finished the poem, there were tears in

both their eyes.

Kalina...
Octavius...

Their voices melded together in a single symphony of

love.

I thought you didn't want me

. Kalina's voice was fierce

as she struggled to keep her emotions in check.

I thought I

was only a fling to you – something stupid and
inconsequential. I thought you didn't want me – didn't
need me – didn't love me...

That could never be true!

She reached up on her tiptoes in order to be able to

gaze more fully into Octavius’ eyes. They were filled with
love and pain, the overwhelming and astonishing force of
his emotion. It bowled her over. It overpowered her. Kalina
felt that she had been struck by lightning, that the very force
of his being shook her to the core. She traced circles
across his cheek and lips with her fingertips.

I want to be with you, Kalina,

he was saying, and she

could feel the truth of his words within her, deep within her
soul. She knew them to be true; the truth of the words could
be heard in the rhythm of her heartbeat, the flow of her
blood, the gasping of her sighs.

I want to be with you as I've

never wanted anything in the whole world. I will never lie to
you, Kalina. I can't lie to you. I can't be with you – I cannot
deny this. But nor can I deny how much I want...I need...

She could wait no longer. Desire ran hot within her.

Then show me

. She swept upwards on her tiptoes and let

her lips brush against those of Octavius. He started back
for a moment, surprised. And then, overpowered, beyond
himself, he gave in to the sweet force of her kiss, opening
his lips to hers. She began unbuttoning his shirt; he slipped
her nightdress off her shoulders, and as they kissed they
lost themselves and each other in that nebulous and astral
realm of dreams, of night, of desire.

Was it a dream – or not a dream? Kalina was

delirious, lost in Octavius, lost in her love, in the psychic
pleasure that bound them together, in a world of night, and
sleep, and stars.

Chapter 6

Kalina woke up the next morning in a haze. What had

happened last night? Her body was aflame with desire –
hot with memory. She remembered not a concrete, discrete
event but rather a series of disparate images – a hand
upon her thigh; lips upon her shoulder; her hands tangling in
a sea of hair. She remembered too individual sensations –
pleasure at once harsh and soft, desirous and delirious –
remembered losing herself. Had it been a dream? Kalina
looked down. There, upon her flesh, were a series of small
bruises – dark clouds of purple flesh set against her snowy
skin. No – it had been real. All of it. Her encounter with
Octavius – mired in darkness, mired in pleasure – a dream
that had inflicted itself upon reality. She had longed for him
– how she had longed for him! -and he had heard the voice
of her desire and so he had at last come to her, in the night.

She could not breathe. Could such a thing have really

happened to her? Suddenly Kalina felt more removed from
the human world than ever. How could she even explain
such a thing to Maeve, who had already sensed that Kalina
was losing her connection with the human world and its
mores. How would Maeve react to these news – news of a
dream, that was not all a dream. She sighed as she put on
her dressing gown. The silk felt cooler than ever to the
touch; it was only then that she realized how scorching hot

her flesh had been.

“I'm coming in!” came a voice, as Maeve

flung open the door. Kalina gasped and quickly
shut her dressing gown

“What are you doing?” Kalina looked down

hurriedly. “Don't you knock?”

“Time for school,” said Maeve. “I don't care if

you

did

get into Yale – you still have to graduate.”

The envy in her voice was apparent, although it
was clear that she was doing her best to hide it
from Kalina.

“Today?School?” But school wasn't until the

first week of January. “Oh, God! School!” How
quickly the time had gone by. She hadn't even
remembered. “Like, now?”

“Like, five minutes ago,” said Maeve,

throwing down a pair of jeans on the bed. “Come
on – some of us can't afford to be docked tardy
marks.”

Kalina scrambled into her jeans. It was the

first time she was going back to school since she
had left on her fantastic voyage with Octavius.
How different everything had seemed then! How
would she sit in her seat, listen to teachers lecture
– when she had spoken to Renaissance men and
Ancient Romans directly! When she had seen so
much more of the world than she could ever have
imagined! How could she sit in the lunchroom,

pretending to worry about cheerleading and
popularity contests, when all that mattered to her
now was the voice of Octavius echoing in her ear.

It had meant so much to Octavius that she get

an education, that he not come between her and
the life she would have lived had she not met him.
Yet high school seemed so far away now.

They arrived at the high school only a few

minutes late; Maeve had driven past more than a
few stop signs on the way. “Worth the fines,” she
muttered, as they parked and Maeve scrambled
for first period calculus. They stopped briefly on
the stairs.

“Who are those guys?” Maeve frowned. “New

security guards or something?”

Kalina recognized them instantly They were

vampires – ferocious vampires, able to withstand
the sun. She glanced at the seal of their rings –
Octavius’ men. So the ones he had promised to
send to protect her had materialized. One of them
gave her a reverent nod – almost, she thought with
not a slight hint of amusement, like a knight
nodding to his queen.

“Probably some businessmen or something,”

said Kalina. “Or drug dealers!”

Maeve conceded the laugh – a small sign

Kalina had been forgiven for their argument of the
night before. Then she looked around, nervously. “I
don't

know,”

said

Maeve.

“These

guys

seem...weird, somehow.”

Kalina knew she could no longer lie to

Maeve. “They're Octavius' men, I think.”

“Octavius, your....?”
Ex-boyfriend?Boyfriend? Even Kalina didn't

know at this point. She sighed deeply. “He said
he'd send them to protect me – to protect us.”

“Since when?” Maeve sputtered.
“Since last night.” Kalina admitted.
“Last night?” Maeve looked confused. “What

happened last night?”

“Octavius visited me,” Kalina tried to explain,

knowing ever more how much stupider she
sounded by the day to a human. “In my sleep – in
my dreams. We communicate that way.
Telepathically.”

“You do

what

?” Maeve put her hands on her

hips. “Kalina – that's ridiculous. Are you sure you
didn't just have a dream?”

“No – it's not like that!” Kalina protested.

“Octavius and I – we have this telepathic
connection. We can talk to each other in our
sleep, or in our minds. Whenever I need him, he's
there.”

“So why isn't he here himself, instead of

sending these goons?” They clearly made Maeve
uncomfortable; she shuddered. “I don't get it.”

“He's in Europe,” said Kalina. “I don't know

where – he's hunting down Mal. He sent his best

where – he's hunting down Mal. He sent his best
men to keep us safe – he wants the best for us.”

“Well, they can protect you,” said Maeve, “as

much as you want. But listen, Kalina, I don't want
any vampires following

me

around. I don't see why

one vamp is any more trustworthy than any other.”

“But it's Octavius,” said Kalina. “It's different

with him.”

“Yeah, like it was different with Stuart? Or

different with this Jaegar guy – who suddenly
wants to kill you?”

“It's...complicated. Jaegar was like Stuart, but

drinking my blood changed him. You know I told
you there’s something special about my blood…”

The tension between the two of them was

mounting; Kalina could sense Maeve's tension,
her anger. The day did not improve. A mysterious-
looking exchange student in one of their classes
bore clear signs of vampirism, as did the men
sharing a cigarette beneath the bleachers, the
coach mysteriously submissive to their presence.
Wherever they turned, they saw the black-suited
men, making stark eye contact with Kalina before
retreating into silence and watchful quietude.
Soon they even began making Kalina feel
uncomfortable. She would, for all that she
appreciated the protection, have much rather had
Octavius there to protect her in person. There was
something in the harsh eyes of these security

vampires she did not altogether like. They
regarded her, it was clear, with a sense of
superiority – they were loyal, but she was to them
Octavius' treasure, valued because Octavius
valued her, and while they would defend her to the
death, they wouldn't take orders from her –
wouldn't leave, even for Maeve's sake. They took
orders only from Octavius, and Octavius had
ordered them to shadow her every move. Their
proprietary gaze made Kalina shiver.

They met up with Stuart that afternoon.
“Well,” said Kalina, her voice shaky. “What

shall we do now?”

“The Stomping Ground?” asked Stuart. The

converted winery had been one of the most
popular places for Kalina and her friends to go in
days gone by. It seemed so long ago.

They headed over and ordered two

cheeseburgers, Stuart surreptitiously bringing his
own flask of vampire wine. Kalina could see a
table of two more men next to them, ordering
nothing but two sodas they had left untouched.
Vampires, clearly.

“I heard from Octavius,” said Kalina. Maeve

made a face, but she continued. “He says he's
pretty sure Aaron's alive.”

Stuart looked relieved. “I've been trying to

establish a telepathic connection with him, but...”
His voice trailed off. Stuart didn't have the vampire

strength of Jaegar or Octavius.

“He'll keep us posted,” said Kalina.
But as she looked at the vampire guards,

staring at them over their intact sodas, she
couldn't help but feel a twinge of doubt. Is this what
Octavius thought of her? A thing to be protected –
to be shielded from the outside world? Someone
who couldn't be trusted on her own? Her feelings
of uncertainty grew worse as the days passed,
and she did not hear from Octavius again.
Perhaps he had only wanted her body – to
release himself of stress – and then vanish again.
She felt her doubts mount as the days wore on, as
Octavius did not respond to her calls, and his men
stared stony-eyed at her in the school corridors,
behind the bleachers.

And all the while, she heard Jaegar's voice

calling intermittently in her head.

I will find you, Kalina, my love. And when I

do, you'll wish I had killed you long ago.

Chapter 7

The following day Justin came home from his

medical conference. He set down his bags in the
doorway and knocked loudly. “Hello?” He called
out. Kalina rushed downstairs to greet him. She
had gotten his text message and eagerly
prepared to meet him after school. After all, it had
been nearly a month since she had seen her
brother. He had left in early December to attend a
medical conference – one that suddenly,
inexplicably, his employer had decided he
absolutely could not miss, a conference that had
turned into an offer to attend a three week long
seminar in Chicago. Kalina knew that Justin's
sudden, meteoric career progression had been
helped out by Octavius, who had used compulsion
to ensure that Justin would not notice Kalina's long
absence, but she was proud of him nonetheless.
She felt that Octavius was only securing for him
the successes that his hard work had led him to
deserve.

“Justin!” Kalina called out, rushing down the

stairs. She enveloped her brother in her arms.
“How are you doing? I missed you so much when
you were away!”

“You're getting bigger and taller by the day!”

Justin joked, picking his sister up in his arms.
“How was your trip with Stuart? In Aspen.”

“Yeah, Stuart...” Kalina couldn't believe how

much had happened since she and Justin last
spoke. She hadn't even told Justin about the
breakup – let alone vampires, Octavius, or
anything else that might make an older brother's
head explode...

“Were his parents nice?”
“Yeah, sure!” Kalina looked down, trying to

hide her blush.

“I tried a couple of times, but I couldn't get

through when I tried to call you. I figured reception
must be pretty bad out there. I shouldn’t have let
you go by without me, but you’re eighteen now
and…” Kalina saw the guilt on Justin’s face.

“It's a ski lodge,” said Kalina. “The chalet's in

the middle of nowhere, seriously...I would have
called or written, but we don't even have internet
access there.”

“Total wilderness,” Justin laughed. “Well, I

hope you had a nice time. And – erm...” He began
pacing the room. “Well, a

safe

time, if you know

what I mean. I know Stuart's a great guy – I trust
him completely – but my head wasn't exactly
screwed on straight at that age, if you know what I
mean.”

“First of all,

ew,

” said Kalina, glad to have

even the most unsavory of topics to stall the

conversation, “secondly, don't worry. You're not
going to see me wheeled into the maternity ward
anytime soon.”

“Good – because I would worry...”
“I'm

responsible!”

Kalina

protested.

“Besides...you don't have to worry. Stuart and I
aren't – I mean we...we're not...”

“You broke up?” Justin reached out a hand to

pat Kalina's shoulder.

“It's okay, we're still...”
“Are you okay? Do you want me to go, like,

beat him up or something? Because I would, you
know! Nobody messes with my little sister!”

Kalina laughed. “It's okay,” she said. “It was

my decision. I'm not heart-broken or anything –
and Stuart and I are still really good friends. It's
just – we were more like friends than anything
else, you know? And it just became more and
more clear the more time we spent together.”

“I won't lie,” said Justin, “those are definitely

words a brother wants to hear. What happened?”

“There's...someone else,” said Kalina. “There

was someone else I had feelings for. I just felt, like
– you know – my blood was calling out
for...somebody else.

“For somebody else?” Justin looked concerned.

“Kalina, what do you mean?”

“It's hard to explain,” Kalina looked down. “It's just...it

has to do with my blood, you know – and maybe I'm just –

well – I'm meant for somebody else.”

“Somebody else in particular – or just somebody else

generally?”

Kalina took in a deep breath. “I'm not dating anybody

right now, if that's what you mean. But...haven't you ever felt
that with somebody, Justin? A real blood connection?”

Justin sighed. “For somebody else?” Justin looked

concerned. “Kalina, what do you mean? Like a soul
connection?”

“It's hard to explain,” Kalina looked down. “It's just...it

has to do with my blood, you know – and maybe I'm just –
well – I'm meant for somebody else. Like a soul
connection.” Except vampires don’t have souls so the
connection is through blood and the essence of life or soul
in the blood.

Justin drew in a deep breath. “I should have known this

would happen one day, Kalina,” he said.

“What would happen?”
“You're curious about your birth parents, aren't you?”

Justin looked down. “All this stuff about blood – blood
connections – I should have seen it sooner. I know I'd be
worried...”

“Look, Justin, all that stuff about vampires...”
“Vampires, yeah!” Justin laughed. “For over twenty

years I've thought of myself as a man of science – a rational
person. But all this stuff going on lately...it's stuff I can't
explain. Shadows of men in trees. Mysterious presences –
things I sense but can't

know...”

“It's real, Justin,” said Kalina, quietly. “And I think I'm

“It's real, Justin,” said Kalina, quietly. “And I think I'm

part of it. I think I'm connected to it.”

“Vampires?”
“I've seen them. I've fought them off. I've looked them in

the eyes. They've...they've been coming after me...”

“Kalina, are you crazy?”
“It's

real

, Justin. There's something about my blood,

Justin! Something different. Something special. Something
that's been sending vampires after me.”

“How did you...”
“When I was in Europe.For that math competition. I

went to a library – looked up some records...”

Justin sighed. “You know what I've always told you,

right? That you were the cutest little baby our parents had
ever seen – that they simply had to adopt you the moment
they saw you?”

“Yeah.”
“That's the story. That's the true story. But it's not the

whole story, if you know what I mean.”

“So my blood...”
“Listen, Kalina. It's not your fault. You didn't cause all

these attacks – these vampire attacks. And people –
vampires included, have to take responsibilities for their
own actions...”

He was interrupted by the ringing of the doorbell.

Kalina shot up. “Don't open it,” she said. “Don't invite...let
me see who it is first, okay?”

“Okay.”
Kalina breathed a sigh of relief as she peered through

the peephole. It was Stuart.

“Come in,” she said, quickly shutting the door behind

them. “Justin, you remember Stuart, don't you?”

Justin looked a bit confused – Kalina had, after all, just

finished telling him the story of their breakup – but he shot
Stuart a smile.

“I've brought some food,” said Stuart. “I thought you

could use a proper meal.”

“Stuart is such a good

friend

” said Kalina emphatically,

and Justin nodded.

“I hope you don't mind,” said Stuart, turning to Justin. “I

brought this along from our cellars. 1910 vintage –
Cabernet Sauvignon.”

“19...

10

” Justin started.

“Something special,” said Stuart. “Don't feel obliged to

open it now – I've brought a simple bottle for dinner....” He
produced one of vampire wine.

I'll need this if I'm going to be around you all the time,

Kalina. Unless you want a repeat of what happened in the
car.

She smiled and squeezed his hand.
“Nothing for me now, thanks,” said Justin. “My beeper

could go off at any moment.”

Dinner cheered Kalina up somewhat. It was nice being

all together again – Justin, Kalina, and Stuart. The two boys
got along admirably together, Kalina thought. Almost like a
real family.

After dinner Stuart began looking uncomfortable. At

last, when he returned to the living room, he turned to Justin.
“Sir,” he said. “I would normally ask the parents' permission
for this sort of thing....but in this instance – I hope it's not
inappropriate…”

“What?” Justin furrowed his brow.
“The – ah – the senior promenade is coming up – and I

would love the honor – I would be honored – to escort
Kalina...” his voice trailed off.

The prom! Kalina had almost forgotten – the biggest

dance of the year had seemed so insignificant against so
much else that had been going on in her life.

Justin looked confused – almost as confused as

Kalina felt. Never had she heard of any prospective date
asking parents – or brothers – for permission. Stuart really
hadn't gotten in step with the times. Nevertheless, there
was something endearing about his nervousness and
gentlemanly ways.

“Well,” said Justin, “Kalina's eighteen. She can make

her own decisions on the matter. I won't stand in anyone's
way. It's really up to Kalina. Although...” he laughed. “I'm
flattered that you think I have such a say over what Kalina
does and doesn't do. She's still my little sister, after all.”

“I'd love to!” Kalina couldn't help laughing – even

giggling. “I'd love to go to the prom.” It was the first normal
thing in her life since Europe, since Octavius, since Mal –
the first real, genuine, exciting, normal, teenaged thing. She
couldn't have predicted her own gleeful response.

“Well, dude,” said Justin, shifting uncomfortably,

“guess you've got your answer then.”

When Stuart had left, Justin sat down next to Kalina,

producing a box she had not seen before. “I meant to give
you this for your eighteenth birthday,” said Justin, but we
missed this opportunity – we were both away...I'm sorry
about that. But Mom and Dad – they gave it to me to give to
you...until you were eighteen...”

He produced a beautiful garnet pendant with an

antique burnish-brown ornate oval frame on a narrow chain
– simple yet elegant. “It was around your neck when you
were a baby, in the orphanage. Mom and Dad didn't want
to tell you you were adopted – they were going to tell you
when you turned eighteen – but when they died I thought it
was right to tell you then... All that stuff you said about your
blood got me thinking. Because – there is something
different about you. When you were two years old – you hit
your head. Needed stitches. But you...something was weird
about your blood type. Dad decided to treat you himself, in
the end – because the hospital couldn't get its paperwork
together – your blood type kept showing up all over the
place...”

“Why didn't you tell me?” Kalina asked.
“We didn't want you to feel different,” said Justin.

“Whatever weird thing was going on with you – you seemed
healthy enough – and we didn't want to make you feel like a
freak or something – especially when you were so young.”

Kalina's mind raced. Could she have handled this – all

that terrible truth – at the age of two or three? How about
nine or ten? Thirteen? She sighed – even now, Life’s Blood
was too much to take in.

“Look, Justin – I'm not mad at you or anything, but I

could really use a nap right now. Do you....do you mind?”

She fingered the garnet pendant.
“No, of course,” said Justin. He kissed her forehead.

“You know no matter what, you're always my sister, right?”

“Right,” said Kalina. She sighed.

Chapter 8

The next few weeks passed by in a bit of a haze. The

vampire security guards had gone from being an intrusion
to an accepted part of life – and although their cold eyes
and constant watchful presence gave Kalina a bit of a
shiver she eventually got used to them, and tried to ignore
their stealthy presence in her corridors, in her classrooms,
at the bleachers or the Stomping Ground. They seemed to
use compulsion on the others – escaping their notice –
although Maeve often complained of a bitter cold every
time they entered the room – but Kalina could see them.
Nevertheless she managed to ignore them and participate
in life as fully as she could. She scrambled to finish her
homework, her routines for the cheerleading team's next
game, and soon it was time for senior prom, late in March.

“I can't believe it,” said Maeve, who was going with an

artistic senior called Joe Ellison, “I feel so

old

!”

And then the night was upon her, and it was time for

Kalina to get dressed and get ready herself for the prom.

A knock came at the door. When Kalina opened it, she

saw Stuart, looking as she had never seen him before. He
was much more handsome, with a sultry smile in his eyes.
His tuxedo was elegantly cut, old-fashioned – the sort of
dapper and suave suit that would have seemed so out of
place in the present day were it not for Stuart's incredible
beauty, which rendered anything that might have seemed

strange in a high school setting to nothing more than
licensed eccentricity.

Kalina for her part had dressed all in black, in a sea of

foaming velvet that tapered off above her breast, leaving
her neck and shoulders swan-like and uncovered. Above
her breasts she wore a shimmering necklace, studded with
a single diamond gem. She had received the box in the
mail – a necklace with a message.

For a rite of passage –

and a chance for you to lead a life as beautiful as you are.
-O.

The necklace had, as if by magic, conspired to go

perfectly with the dress.

When Stuart's eyes fell upon her, Kalina could hear the

swift intake of breath, sharp and heady.

“Say hi for the camera – Kalina, Stuart!” Justin waved

a camcorder in their faces; they laughed awkwardly as they
stood next to each other, fidgeting as they tried to force the
corsage onto Kalina's wrist.

“Adult or no adult,” Justin whispered to her, “You're still

my little sister. And I want to put these in the family
scrapbook! Stuart, smile!”

They had agreed to go to the prom as friends – just as

friends. But as the two of them stared at each other, taking
in the beauty that had washed over them like a purifying
wave, Kalina began to feel an old, familiar desire in her
breast, a sense of closeness to Stuart that went beyond just
friendship.

The night, too, passed as if by magic. They were lost in

a sea of silk and velvet dresses – set apart by their beauty
from the rest of the high school crowd, the way a precious

from the rest of the high school crowd, the way a precious
stone is set apart in the gems of a necklace. Kalina barely
noticed the jealous stares coming their way, of girls eyeing
Stuart, and boys staring at her from head to toe. She could
barely keep her eyes from gazing into his, they seemed
made for each other tonight.

Stuart was the perfect escort, trained in the

gentlemanly and chivalric arts for centuries. He kissed
Kalina's hand and danced with her, bowing before each
number (ballroom dancing he found easy; he swayed with
some slight discomfort to the jazz and swing numbers, and
bowed out entirely for the late-night R&B). He brought her
punch and greeted all her friends warmly, at once making it
seem that he cared for all of them deeply – because they
were Kalina's friends – and yet never allowing them to
release Kalina from her position of first priority in his mind.
He spoke to Maeve and Joe Ellison, asked the right
questions – about life, interests, college plans – and
behaved with perfect charm and decorum. There was
something to be said, Kalina thought, for this brand of
gentlemanliness. Stuart seemed so much older and more
mature than all these other boys – so much wiser – certainly
he was much more mature than Aaron had been....

Aaron! But Kalina couldn't think about that now. She

had forced herself to tear her mind from Jaegar and Aaron.
Jaegar's fate was sealed, she knew, but perhaps there was
hope for Aaron yet – she prayed for him nightly, but had
resigned herself to the fact there was nothing she could do.
In the wake of her return to Rutherford and the arrival of
Octavius' security detail it has begun to get easier, to

Octavius' security detail it has begun to get easier, to
forget, to live normally. But every now and then Kalina felt
the familiar, sharp pain of losing Aaron for a second time.

They danced a final dance on the floor – to the slow

strains of “New York State of Mind,” and Stuart held Kalina
close to his chest, stroking her hair softly, murmuring the
sounds of the song into her neck as they swayed closely to
the rhythm.

“Come outside with me,” Stuart whispered, leading her

by the hand to the terrace outside the hotel where the prom
was being held. The cool spring breeze drifted over them,
carrying the scent of magnolias and jasmine on the porch
into their nostrils.

The moonlight struck Kalina, whitening her breast and

her shoulders. She stopped, framed against the magnolia
plants, bathed in moonlight and the perfume from the
flowers. Stuart stopped short, too, struck by her beauty.

“Kalina, I..”
“I know...” There was so much to say between them –

so much which had been made so complicated. For a
moment, a brief, fantastic, glimmer of a moment, they could
pretend – they could forget all that and go back to that
brilliant moment when all was new and glorious, when they
had first kissed...

“I've waited for so long – to see you look at me again

like this...” Stuart's voice was low and soft. “I could only
wish...”

“Stuart.” Kalina's voice was trembling. “I feel so much

for you – Stuart – I do...and if I could love you enough – feel
whatever it is I'm supposed to feel...to make you human – I

whatever it is I'm supposed to feel...to make you human – I
would. I swear it, Stuart, I really would. If I could choose –
dictate my own feelings, my own heart, I swear it would be
you...”

He caught her hand and pressed it to his lips.
Kalina was overcome. Maybe it was because of all the

closeness they had shared these last few weeks, maybe it
was because of the romantic evening, maybe it was
Octavius’ blood in him, maybe it was because deep down
in her, she truly loved him. Against herself, without even
thinking about it, she reached up on her tiptoes and kissed
him on the side of the mouth, somewhere between his
cheek and his lips, and then somehow the chaste kiss slid
down in the direction of his mouth.

“Kalina,” Stuart pulled back, surprised. The kiss had

been gentle – soft – like the slow breeze of a summer
morning or afternoon, but yet Kalina found her heart
beginning to beat faster, nevertheless, the sweetness of the
kiss heating and boiling until there was desire, too, heaving
with each of her breaths.

He kissed her again, harder this time, with a direct,

straightforward desire that thrilled her, shook her to the
bone.

She loved Octavius – she knew she loved Octavius –

and yet in his absence it was so easy, in her loneliness, in
her empty heart, to turn to another love, another set of
feelings. Octavius had told her they could never be
together. Not with Mal around, not when Octavius was the
only powerful vampire left of the consortium, and the
responsibilities that went with that burden. There was so

much emotion rising in her...she needed someone there,
someone to kiss, to want and to be wanted by. Octavius
had not returned to her since that dream – she knew what
he wanted of her – to move on, to make a new life, a

beautiful

life without him, a life unencumbered by the

impossibility of their love. Was it possible, Kalina
wondered as she kissed Stuart, to love two people at once
– or three or four – to love different things in different
people? Before she'd started dating, when she was young
and naïve, Kalina had believed that the only love was one
that was sure and true and lasted forever. But her
experiences with the Greystone Brothers and with Jaegar
had complicated all that. For she knew that it was not the
case. She had strong, powerful feelings for Jaegar and for
Stuart, for Aaron and for Octavius, love and desire and
friendship and gratitude and need and want all conflicting
with each other, desires ricocheting off the inside of her
heart like Ping-Pong balls. Was it because she was
bonded by blood to these vampire brothers and their
maker, bonded by love and destiny?

And Stuart had done so much for her! If it was only a

question of that, only a question of deserving, Stuart would
surely win. He had given up so much for her –

put up

with

so much for her – he had given her his blood to ensure her
safety, at the risk of driving himself mad with desire. If only it
was possible, she thought mournfully, to simply choose
whom one loved, to turn all these conflicting feelings and
desires onto one person – like a spotlight – and decide that

they would all be focused on one person, enough to
engender true, real love.

He deserved to be human, Kalina thought. More than

any of them.

He deserved so much more than that. She had to give

him a chance.

Their kiss was interrupted by a sharp, piercing

scream. It echoed through the night – the sound coming
closer in the form of a young girl – Jeanette Willow, from
history class – her aquamarine dress torn to shreds and her
knees stained with blood and dirt.

“It's Ed,” she cried. “Ed!”
Ed Marlowe was Jeanette's long-term boyfriend.
“We were in the woods – you know...just...” Jeanette

wailed. “And this thing came at us – animal...person....teeth
–

sharp

teeth, I don't know if he's....”

She began wailing.
“We need to get you out of here,” said Stuart in a low,

sharp whisper. “Jeanette, call the hospital. Now!”

In a flash, he had grabbed Kalina and was flying with

her through the skies, the woods, the wind whipping at the
speed of light against them. Kalina saw the whole of
Rutherford below them, until at last her house was getting
bigger and bigger beneath them – coming closer and
closer – and then her feet touched the ground. Kalina put
her hand on the hand rail to steady herself.

“Stuart...”
“Kalina – I'm sorry – the guards...he must have gotten

past Octavius' guards.”

“Do you think it's....”
“I don't know...”
“Maeve!” Kalina shouted. “Please – Maeve! She'll be

alone – a target – I

know she's a target.

”

“I can't leave...”
“Go!” Kalina looked up. “I can defend myself – Maeve

– please, she really can't....you know where she is – her
blood, your blood....”

It was true. Maeve and Stuart shared a blood link, she

knew. And Stuart would know how to protect her.

“Are you sure?”
“I'm sure.” Kalina began unlocking the door. “Come on,

now! Go!”

Stuart nodded and vanished into the darkness.
Kalina opened the door.

Chapter 9

Kalina looked around. The house was dark, empty.

Justin was gone. He must have gone back to the hospital,
she reasoned; if there had been vampire attacks tonight, he
would need to be on duty to provide blood transfusions, to
provide support. She swallowed hard. The house seemed
bigger than ever in the dark and in the emptiness. The wind
whistled through the corridors; the gauze of the curtains
fluttered like a trapped butterfly. The place felt cold; she
shivered, feeling the sensation tremble from the nape of her
neck to the base of her spine.

“Hello,” she called, in a breathless whisper. Fear

choked her, stifling her voice. “Hello, is anyone there?”

She could not bear the silence – an expectant silence

that whispered promises of danger, of desire, of death.
She felt a presence in the house – a nameless, formless
fear – and tried to banish it.

“Hello!”
Justin was gone. Maeve was gone. Stuart was gone.

And the house was empty. And yet there was somebody
there...

Kalina climbed the steps to her room on tiptoe.

Nobody was in the house, she reasoned. Nobody could be
in the house! It had been locked...She tried to push the fear
out of her mind as she swung open the door to her
bedroom.

And then she saw him.
He was sitting on her bed, swinging his feet along the

floor. He looked so much like he had looked when she last
saw him – the same dashing, careless beauty, the same
primal power in his shoulders and neck, the look of a man
who had killed and could kill, who knew what he wanted and
would take it at his desire. It was Jaegar.

“So, you've picked Stuart, then,” he said, with strained

nonchalance, a hint of sadness.

“Jaegar...”
Her voice caught in her throat. He looked around the

room and she knew at once what he was thinking; she felt
his memories pervade her own, his voice invade her head.
He sent images to her through the vines of her mind –
images of the last time they were alone together in the
room. They had started by kissing -it had been just kissing
at first – and then he had been undoing her bathrobe, his
lips against her stomach, and they had come so close,
achingly ever closer, to consummating their desire. How
she loved him then, desired him, and how he loved her…
before Octavius.

Kalina froze, the memories flooding her brain. He had

stopped, then – they had stopped – so afraid of what would
happen if he drank her blood, of the madness that would
flood his mind, overcome his restraint – the madness of
evil. He had stopped – they had stopped – and now here
he was before her, his worst fears realized.

He threw back his head and laughed, an evil, eerie

laugh that froze Kalina's blood. He gazed upon her with

sure, direct eyes. She knew exactly, without question,
without denial what it was he wanted to do to her; she knew
he would not hesitate any longer.

I have waited long enough.

He rose and came towards her. She felt the familiar

power of compulsion clouding her brain, a power Jaegar
had sworn nevermore to use upon her, the compulsion
relaxing her impulses, strengthening her desire.

The chemistry was electric.

You want me, Kalina.

And she did want him, at once; her body shuddered

involuntarily with desire, as he came to her, wrapped his
hands around her, drew her down to him. She was
sleepwalking, walking as if in a dream, his voice and his
body and his hands all echoes from a not unfamiliar past.
Their chemistry had been real, once; now, ignited by magic,
it was overpowering.

He kissed her; she tasted blood on his lips and still

succumbed, allowing him to press her down upon the bed,
into the softness of the satin sheets, slide the silk and velvet
of her dress down her body revealing her lacy black bra set,
kiss her breasts, his eyes dark with desire, his lips curved
into a wicked smile of appreciation. He trailed hot
smoldering kisses slowly down her body. She felt only
desire. Then his shirt was off, and she felt his warm chest
hard against her chest as his mouth kissed her
passionately. “The wait only increased my desire for you…”
Somewhere, in the back of her mind, her natural resistance
cried out; her conscious brain ignored it. She was gazing at

Jaegar as if through a fog, a haze of pleasure.

She moaned softly as he sank his teeth into her,

puncturing the smooth expanses of her neck, sucking down
mouthfuls of blood – more than he had taken from the vial,
more than Mal had given him, at last consummating the
desire that had echoed through him for centuries...Jaegar’s
face was in ecstasy, drinking Life’s Blood from the very
source!

No – no!

Kalina's eyes shot open; her senses returned to her.

She screamed, a deafening scream that turned into a wail,
and pushed Jaegar away, gaining just enough time to roll
across the floor.

Think, Kalina, think

. She grabbed a stake and aimed

it, ready to send it straight into Jaegar's heart. She couldn't
bear to kill him; she had to kill him; she couldn't bear to die.

But he was too strong for her. He took hold of her

wrists, gripping them tightly until the stake fell limply from
her grasp. The sun was rising outside the window, a bloody
boil of light that should have fried him, should have killed
him. But he'd tasted her blood now. He no longer had to
fear the sun. It no longer pained him.

“Oh, Kalina,” he whispered into her neck. “Silly girl –

you silly girl to resist me. How all I think about is you. Why
can’t I stop thinking of you? It’s like a madness. You’re the
only woman who had refused me, who I have wanted more
than immortality itself. You’re the only one I had defied my
maker for and would have killed my brothers for.” He kissed

her cheeks and looked into her eyes. “Join me.”

“What?”
“I still want you, you know. You silly, maddening little

witch – you've driven me crazy. I still want you – so much. I
don't want to kill you. I just want you – all of you – all night –
all day – every day.”

“Jaegar, please...”
“Even the compulsion doesn't hold you,” he laughed.

“Our chemistry is explosive. Can’t you feel it? I know you
can. Even now I can read your desire for me, hear your
heart pound faster for me, feel the heat rising up in your
body. There's so much of you – so much strength, so much
power I want to drink down. Remember, don't you? In this
very room. You asked me about becoming a vampire. Well,
now I want to make you one. I could turn you, you know –
you'd scream with pleasure you'd enjoy it so much – turn
you, and then we could make love for centuries – We can
really get it on vampire to vampire, without having to worry
about hurting you or breaking the spell...”

“Jaegar, please! Don't...”
“You love me, don't you? Not enough to turn me human

– but enough to make your weak human heart shiver at the
thought of killing me. No, you won't kill me, Kalina. I can feel
it. I can feel your heartbeat. I can hear your thoughts. Your
desires. How much you want. Me.”

“I don't want you! Not like this.”
“You do. You know you shouldn't – you know you can't

– but you do...”

“I don't,” Kalina cried. “I don't!”

“You do!” Jaegar’s mouth was on Kalina’s, his tongue

lashing onto hers, sensuously stroking every part of her
mouth, tasting her as though she was a delicacy. When she
responded back with a soft moan, he deepened the kiss,
not holding back his passion.

“Oh Jaegar…”
“Don’t you want this with me forever, Kalina?” he

growled. “Because I do.”

Kalina was so deep in the haze of desire, she could

barely think. The compulsion, Jaegar’s delicious masculine
smell, her blood attracted to him even more now that he’s
had more of her own blood, kept her from responding.

Jaegar smiled a slow wicked smile, the silver of light

hitting his unearthly beautiful eyes. “I knew you’d like this.”
He paused. “I just didn’t realize how much I’d like this, too.”
His mouth assaulted her mouth, grabbing hold of her
tongue and piercing her tongue with the tips of his extended
fangs. Kalina’s eyes flew open for a second with the sharp
sting, which gave away to waves of pleasure as Jaegar
sucked on her tongue. When his mouth let go of her tongue,
Kalina couldn’t get enough. She found herself licking
Jaegar’s fangs, which made him close his eyes savoring
the sensation.

Jaegar led her to her bed and laid her out, drinking in

the image of her looking at him with heated desire. “God,
you’re more beautiful tonight than I’ve ever seen you,” he
said, looking like the old Jaegar for a moment. “You’re
finally going to be mine, and the spell is going to be
broken.” He kissed her cheeks, her lips, her collarbone and

was headed to Kalina’s smooth soft neck with his
elongated fangs when all of a sudden, quick as lightning,
Kalina rolled to her side, and sprinted across the room to
the door.

“I won't be forced into this, Jaegar. If you turn me, I

swear to God I'll be by your side for all eternity – hating
you.”

“I don't need your love,” Jaegar scoffed. “Only your

blood, only your body.” He smiled that slow wicked smile
again. “We can make this purely physical. I wouldn’t mind.”

Stuart, help me.

“Octavius' men will be coming soon,” Kalina's voice

shook. “If you leave now, you might escape them...”

Jaegar laughed.
“They're on the way to fight you. And kill you. And I

swear to God I will fight you too. Every step of the way,
Jaegar.”

“Fight me?” He sniffed at her. “Fight me –

me

, really?

Well, I suppose that would be...arousing, at least...”

As he approached her, his fangs poised to pierce her

flesh once more, the door opened, flying nearly off its
hinges. Stuart strode in, followed by three of Octavius' men,
three of his strongest vampires.

“Brother dearest...”
But it was too late. In a flash, Jaegar had vanished;

before Kalina could register what had happened, the three
vampire security guards had followed him, leaving Stuart
and Kalina alone.

“Stuart,” Kalina whispered. “Oh my God, Stuart...” She

swayed and then fell, collapsing in Stuart's arms, weak from
the blood loss.

“He bit you?” Stuart pressed his fingers to stop the

wound. She could see every muscle in his face tensing,
trying not to drink down the intoxicating liquid.

“Yes...he used compulsion – he's stronger than...” Than

Stuart? “than before.”

He gathered her in his arms. “Rest here,” he

whispered. “You're safe now.” But as he rocked her, Kalina
began to feel that she would never be safe again.

Chapter 10

Kalina and Stuart sat for some time longer, staring into

each other's eyes. Kalina could feel the cool and piercing
force of Stuart's gaze passing over her. His arms were
wrapped tightly around her, a pressure that meant safety,
meant life.

“Stuart,” she whispered.
His eyes traveled all the way over her body, followed

soon by his fingers, tracing the tips of her wounds, the
gaping puncture marks. He inhaled deeply and Kalina knew
what he was thinking, what he was feeling, the nigh-on-
impossible attempt to rein in his desires.

“I want to heal you...” he whispered. But healing would

require a sharing of blood – and she knew from the heat in
his lips and his eyes that even Stuart could not manage to
hold back.

“Kalina...I. Want. You...” She could see his eyes fixed

hot upon her neck; she could feel his eyes searing into
where Jaegar had left a hole. She sighed.

He was panting, although no air could have traveled

through his frozen lungs. But exhaustion had sent him into a
frenzy – he had rushed to her when she first sent him the
telepathic message begging for his help, and now she
knew what he knew: that finding her lying there, her clothing
torn, her blood displayed before him, was more than he
could stand.

“I'm sorry...” he tried, as his fingers traced the borders

of Kalina's lips. They were bruised now, and swollen from
Jaegar's kisses, and as he let his fingertips shiver up to the
bottom lip Kalina remembered that mere moments before
they had been kissing – so slowly and softly on the dance
floor. Everything had seemed beautiful then; everything had
seemed fine and wonderful and above all things…so safe.

Stuart moved in closer. He drew her lips roughly into

his – more roughly than she had ever seen him do in the
past – and forced her shoulders tightly against his fingers,
drawing her against his chest. He struck a bruise,
inadvertently, and Kalina moaned with a slight pain, melded
with her unwilling desire.

“Kalina...” he drew away. “I'm...”
“You're what?”
“Did he...” Stuart looked down. “Did Jaegar...hurt you?”
“Hurt me? A bit – we...”
“I mean...”
Of course. Kalina bit back her rage. The question of

sex was on his mind – it was on all their minds –
impossible to separate from the nectar of her blood, from
the cocktail of hormones and passions and frenzies that
had drawn them all together.

“He was,” Kalina almost spat out the words with

contempt. “A perfect gentleman.”

“He didn't...”
“He didn't have the time.” Kalina looked up. “He used

compulsion on me – a bit...at first – I started to...before it
wore off...”

Stuart stiffened.
Kalina knew what he was feeling; she didn't even need

telepathy to confirm her suspicions. Stuart was angry.
Angry that his brother – his cocky, beautiful, arrogant
brother – could get further with Kalina than he, Stuart, had.
Their chaste kisses and moonlight dances had been
nothing -nothing to what Jaegar had so easily taken. For
that was how Jaegar operated. He wanted things – he took
them. And even evil – Jaegar was able to taste so much
more of Kalina's soft flesh than he was...

Kalina looked up and she was frightened by what she

saw in Stuart's eyes. There was jealousy there, through and
through, a white-hot anger that seared through to her very
soul.

“It was compulsion” she insisted. “I couldn't help it!”
“I know you couldn't!” Stuart's voice was angry now –

his rage seeping through his self-control. She could see the
images flashing through his head – her thoughts and
images of her with Jaegar at the Sunrise Motel, which
Stuart had so easily glossed over – of Jaegar's mouth upon
her shoulders, her hips, her breasts...

She had chosen Octavius over him. She had chosen

Jaegar over him. She could feel his rage. He had been
good – the best – the most deserving – always the quiet
one, always kind to her and chivalrous and honorable – and
he felt that deep down in parts of herself she could not even
fathom she wanted none of that. She wanted white-hot
anger and white-hot passion, burning through her; she
wanted to be overwhelmed, to lose herself and her mind in

the power of her desire.

And he had been so good to her. And he had most

deserved her.

And she had not loved him.
“Stuart!” Kalina cried, but her moans were silenced as

he thrust her down onto the floor and began kissing her with
a series of rough kisses, his teeth lightly pricking at her lips.

“I want you so much,” he was moaning – into her neck,

her shoulders, her stomach. “I want you so much – I want
you more than they do – I need you...your blood, your body,
your life...your soul...”

“Stuart, what are you...” But she could not stop him.

She did not want to stop him. In the force of his passion she
was lost at last; his desire for her overwhelmed her,
enchanted her, at last consumed her until she was not sure
in the darkness of the night and their tangled limbs what
was her desire and what was his.

“I've waited for you, Kalina,” he was whispering now.

“I've waited for you so, so long...”

Kalina closed her eyes, letting the waves of pleasure

pass over her.

“I haven't been selfish, Kalina. God knows I haven't

been selfish. But I want to be selfish now. I want you – I want
to be like

him

, want you like he does, make you feel like he

does...”

He wanted her to himself; he wanted to slake the

desire that had been building within him for the months
since she had first known him. He had warned her that one
day, early in their relationship, at the Stomping Ground, that

he had more desire, more darkness in him, than she could
ever dream of. Next to Jaegar he had seemed so quiet, so
meek; she had almost disbelieved him. But she saw it now,
the darkness in his eyes, in his touch and gaze and above
all things in his mouth, hot on hers; she felt at last, like a
coiled spring released.

Compulsion had clouded her mind before with Jaegar;

now, the lines of connection were clear.

Yes. I want this, Stuart. I have always wanted this. I

want to see this passionate side of you.

She did not know it was true until she had thought it

into existence, and then she knew it. She still loved
Octavius, missed Octavius, ached for Octavius – the world
he had shown her, when she could be a woman instead of
a girl, in the world instead of in a small town. And she could
not have loved Stuart, not in the small and domestic way
she thought he wanted.

But now...
She couldn't think of Octavius now. She had promised

him, for their sake, to give him up, to love another...she
wanted to give Stuart a chance. She wanted to love him.

And then her mind was clouded again, not by

compulsion but by sheer pleasure, as Stuart began tearing
Kalina's ball dress from her body, removing her bra, her
stockings – ripping them into shreds in his passion.

“Stuart...”
She remembered the lessons Octavius had taught her

in Paris.

Stuart – I want to...but I don't want to break the spell.

She grabbed hold of his wrists and rolled him over,

stretching out the length of her body above him, kissing his
neck, his shoulders.

There are other things we can do, Stuart.

She heard his smile pierce through her thoughts

before she saw it.

I want to...
I want to..

And then words failed them, and pleasure consumed

them, and it was dawn before Kalina opened her eyes
again.

********

Which one of them had killed Gerard – had been

responsible, had killed, really, Marilee? It was a
conversation Stuart and Jaegar had had many times – time
and time again, a conversation peppered with fierce blows,
with wrestling in the dirt and filth of the graveyard. They
were brothers – but for nearly two centuries they had not
been brothers, until Aaron's death had forced them into
something like an unquiet peace treaty. Since Gerard had
died – since Marilee had committed suicide in grief at the
death of her husband and the accusations – they had
always regarded each other with clear suspicion. One of
them had killed Gerard – it could have been either of them
to commit that act of parricide.

After all, they had both loved Marilee. They had both

longed for her – that forbidden beauty, their father's new
wife. She had been so young, so sweet, with flaxen hair and
red cheeks that spoke of days spent out in the fields,
together at the frontier of the world. How beautiful America
had seemed to all of them then – going West – a thousand
sunsets and nights across the American plains together. Of
course they had both loved her – how could they not! And
how could they have not hated their father – their father
whose pretty young wife was the only woman they could not
have, a woman their father could love every night in the
room next to them...

Jaegar grimaced. He could not think of Marilee now.
He had fled into the night – he had been so close, with

Kalina – so close to tasting her, to wanting her, to
consuming her into nothingness. Her love had brought him
back to humanity, once; it had brought him close enough to
Stuart again that the two of them could look each other in
the eyes like brothers, with one hundred years' worth of
forgiveness upon them.

Three of Octavius’ men were chasing him – he

recognized them. One had severed his finger that night in
the fields, intending to leave him to burn at sunlight as
punishment – stripped of his ring he would have been
broiled alive in agony, had it not been for Kalina, who found
him. How he realized then how much she meant to him.

Jaegar sized up the other two men. One had chained

him to the wall in Octavius’ dungeon. The strongest
vampires in the world – a Mongol soldier, a former Roman

gladiator, a trained Aztec warrior.

They had been some of the strongest vampires in the

world.

But they had not tasted Life’s Blood, Kalina’s blood.
It took him only an hour to kill the three of them, an hour

strewn with limbs and blood, with the wailing of final death.
Thousands of men had tried, and failed to kill them.

And now it took Jaegar only an hour.
He inhaled the sharp air of dawn, and looked upon a

sunrise – in complete silence, complete, delirious silence –
without any pain, the slow burn at last vanished for the first
time in seven hundred years.

Chapter 11

Kalina slept deeply that night. The chaos of the whole

evening – from her kiss with Stuart at the prom, to the
trauma with Jaegar, to the passion she had experience with
Stuart afterwards, had overwhelmed her. Combined with
severe blood loss – a loss she had barely even registered
until it was almost too late – the events of the preceding
twelve hours had combined to drain her emotionally as well
as physically. When at last she and Stuart had finished, she
fell asleep against him, a sleep so deep that Stuart could
not even telepathically connect to her dreams. He pressed
her shoulders softly – no answer. He stared at her – the
drained, pale white figure before him – and realized what
he should have seen before, when his mind was clouded by
desire. She had been injured – seriously – by Jaegar's
attack; they had both forgotten it in the heat of the moment,
but now he could see everywhere the scratches and bite
marks Jaegar had made upon her.

Stuart sighed and bit into his wrist, letting a few

droplets of his blood trickle out onto Kalina's lips. In her
sleep she moaned and sighed, arching her back and neck
so that the delicate taste could be sucked down into her
neck. He sighed with her pleasure, seeing her give a low,
sensual cry – deep in the mind of sleep – as her cuts
gradually began to heal, lines and scratches evaporating
into a sea of creamy white flesh.

It was easier now, Stuart thought. It had been terrible –

in its beauty – being with Kalina, being so close to this
exquisite young woman, losing himself in her, and yet
unable to bite her, although the smell of her blood – fresh
and loose – had filled his nostrils, crowded over his mind
and soul and sanity. How he must love her to constantly be
with her and yet not be with her. Kalina was like the ladies
he swore to love and protect back in the Middle Ages when
he was a knight. Yet she was much more, and he couldn’t
help falling for her, her smile, her bravery, her fragility, her
spirit, her resilience to all the grief she’d experienced, her
intelligence, her beauty, and especially her capacity to love
generously. She seemed endless in her ability to love
others, even monsters like himself and Jaegar. She was
Humanity itself.

Not many vampires would have resisted, Stuart knew

bitterly. He was one of the few – the lucky few – to retain
enough of his humanity to avoid killing her. Enough of his
humanity to avoid experiencing the greatest pleasure he
could possibly know. But he had gotten to know her, like
Aaron had, and he knew he couldn’t just take her.

Kalina looked almost peaceful as she slept, the stress

now banished by the power of the vampire blood coursing
through her veins. Stuart gazed tenderly at her and began
stroking her hair, feeling the delicate strands – like strains
of silk – rustle beneath his fingers. Her soft full lips slightly
opened as her sweet warm breath flowed in and out. He
loved kissing those lips, loved tasting them over and over
again last night. He leaned down and kissed her forehead,

wishing some of her warmth could be transferred to him.

Brother.

Stuart whipped up.

I can hear you now, brother. I've had her blood. She's

had yours.

No, Jaegar wasn't in the room – not physically. But

Stuart could sense his presence everywhere, and the
knowledge prickled him with anger. It was his brother as he
had always known him best – remembered him most – the
voice in his ear telling him all the things he didn't know or
want to know about himself – about the woman he loved.

Hello brother.

The voice was filled with smiles – a

lascivious grin in the middle of the tones.

How is our

sleeping princess doing? Did you tire her out?

You are not welcome here, Jaegar.

Stuart shut his

eyes tight, willing his brother out.

And at last – you did it. I wouldn't have thought you

had it in you. I wouldn't think you had enough vampire in
you to bed the girl. But you did.

Stuart's head echoed with

Jaegar's laughter.

But not enough, eh Stuart? Not enough

to take her blood. Not enough to take her virginity.

Jaegar

gave a mock sigh that sent shivers up and down Stuart's
spine.

If only she'd been...if only you'd been stronger, eh,

brother?

Go away, Jaegar. You are not wanted here.
Oh, I think I am wanted. By her, brother. By her. Did

you feel how she kissed you later after I'd left her – I left
her all nice and ready for you. I left her aflame, turned on,

overwhelmed by desire, wanting passion...that girl needs
a strong vampire. A vampire who can match her. Not a
weak do-gooder with water instead of blood in his veins.

Stop it – just stop it.
She has fire in her blood, Stuart. I can tell you this. I

know. She has fire in that Life’s Blood of hers, and it burns
my throat when I drink it down but it feels so good – it
tastes so good – I would do it anyway, gladly. Believe me
brother. It is not like the taste of that virgin we shared in
Paris back in 1792 – you thought she was willing, didn't
you? You never suspected I used compulsion on her...

No – no!

Stuart closed his eyes tighter, but he knew

the voices in his head had reached too deeply within his
soul.

Better than that flaxen maiden we shared in 1472 in

Germany – the Rhine – before you went good. Back when
you were interesting. Back when you didn't try to control
this force within you – this power!

I was another man then.
You were a vampire then, my brother! And now she's

going to leave us both – can't you understand that? Leave
us both and go back to Octavius. The same Octavius who
imprisoned me and you alike, who left me for dead – who
treated our feelings with so little care that he demanded
we sacrifice Life’s Blood for him. For him! For that silent
philosopher! What a waste – he'll get every night in bed
with that little Kalina...and we won't get a taste. Unless you

help me... You always wanted to be included, didn't you,
little brother? You always wanted me to invite you along in
my reindeer games. Well, now you can.

Stuart felt his skin prickle and he knew what Jaegar

said. He knew his desire was as strong as Jaegar's – as
desperate a need. He had wanted her – God knew he
wanted her – and she had denied him. He forced himself
back into the realm of morality; he would not do it!

I will not take her blood against her will, Jaegar. I will

not take her against her will.

What a pity. We could have shared her. Brothers

share, don't they, Stuart? You shared her with me before...

You never tasted her – she never let you taste her.

Stuart begged, pleaded for an echo of his brother inside
this monstrous new voice.

It was only Mal – Mal who forced

you...Mal who destroyed you.

Mal gave me the greatest of gifts.

Jaegar laughed.

I

am free. Free of guilt, of pain. Of all restraints.

He killed the Consortium – do you think you're safe

from him.

He's the most powerful vampire around. For now. I've

drunk a lot of Kalina's blood – Mal's vials, and then some
from that hot little neck myself...and I'll get stronger and
stronger. And soon Octavius won't even be a paltry
second…

You won't get her.

Stuart rose, chasing shadows as he

scanned the room.

I won't let you touch her. I won't let you

taste her.

taste her.

We'll have to see about that, won't we, brother? Last

night – she wanted me. She wanted me as much as I
wanted her. We have a bond, brother. She broke through
my compulsion. Did she tell you that? She broke through
my compulsion – and yet she was still hot in bed with me.
Letting me touch her – stroke her – taste her. I've had her
blood and she's had mine. No other vampire in the world
can say that much. Not even Octavius. And that old man
is just a passing fancy of hers. Like you. I can feel her
thoughts now, Stuart. I know. I can feel her desire for me.
Nor will I doubt or deny mine for her. I want her – that rug
inside her veins. And I will have her.

Octavius will not allow...
Octavius? Ha! That old fool released her – let her go.

Told her to choose one brother. He couldn't keep her
safe. He couldn't keep her happy. Now she can choose
whomever she wants. Will she choose you – sweet, gentle,
impotent Stuart...or will she choose me?

Stuart punched the wall, scraping his knuckles in a

single whirl of fury.

If she ever loved you,

Stuart

concentrated harder.

She despises you now. Who you are.

What you've become. You've become a monster – like
Mal.

A monster?

Jaegar's cackle filled the room.

I'm

becoming a god!

And Kalina?
Kalina? Well, dear brother – let me tell you exactly

what I'll do to her. A sip here – a sip there – a suck, a
nibble, a taste...until she's almost drained – sweaty – in
bed with me. And then I'll turn her – and feast on her again
and again – every night in our blood-drenched bed –
while you scrabble for rat blood and vampire wine out in
the cold!

You wouldn't!
Why not?

Jaegar scoffed.

It's what Father did to

Marilee

Don't you talk about Marilee.

White-hot rage clouded

Stuart's vision.

Don’t you dare talk about Marilee.

Try and stop me, little brother. I'm at the Winery. Are

you bold enough – are you stupid enough – to think you
can best me?

Stuart stopped cold.

If I don't see you tonight at the Winery – I'll return to

Kalina. I'll take her. I'll have her. And if I do see you – well,
I'll give her another day. Another day to run.

So this is what Jaegar intended. A fight to the end. To

the death.

The gauntlet had been thrown down. There was only

one thing to do.

I will fight you, Jaegar. I have been waiting to fight you

for centuries. For Kalina. And for Marilee.

And then Stuart's thoughts went black, and Jaegar

vanished, and as Kalina murmured into morning and dawn
struck the pillow, Stuart's mind was engulfed in darkness.

Chapter 12

He woke up with Kalina in his arms. She was soft,

encircled by his arms and legs, so pliant and smooth
beneath his fingers. He woke up to the smell of her, the
lingering perfume from prom the night before mingled with
the delicious, intoxicating scent of sweat and passion –
bolstered up by a hint – just a hint, but such a tantalizing
one – of her blood. She moved softly in her sleep, giving a
low moan as she turned into him. She wanted him, Stuart
realized, as she unconsciously buried her face in his chest,
brushed her fingertips against his shoulders. She needed
him. With her eyes still closed, still asleep, she kissed his
bare chest, while running her fingers along his rock solid
stomach. Did she love him? Stuart sighed. He couldn't say
– that much was true. And yet she had loved him last night –
given herself to him so entirely and completely that he could
not doubt the veracity of her kisses, her moans, her sighs.
She had loved him – then. Would she love him now?

He kissed her awake – softly, slowly, beginning with

his lips on her shoulders and then trailing them through
every part of her body. She was naked, and in her
nakedness there was no shame, no embarrassment, only
glorious freedom, like Eve at the dawn of the world. Would
his death be enough to save her? One day – that was all
that Jaegar would give her. One day. Would it be enough?

Stuart shuddered as fear overtook him; the movement

startled Kalina into wakefulness.

“What is it?” she said, groaning as she raised herself

up on her elbows. “What's happened?”

“Kalina...” His voice said it all. His one word, the

invocation of her name, was so full of love and passion that
Kalina stopped short.

“Stuart...” she whispered back. “What is it?”
How could he tell her? How could he say goodbye? He

swallowed back his grief and began stroking the side of her
face – as tenderly as possible, careful not to mar the
creamy smoothness of her cheeks. If she had loved him
enough, perhaps it could have all gone to plan. Perhaps
she could have made him human. Perhaps they could have
shared together the life he had always longed for, always
dreamed of, have more nights and days like last night. Last
night with Kalina was pure happiness. Leaving Kalina
would be his only regret. But it was too late to think about
that now.

She was the best of him; she brought out the best in

him. She brought out the best in all vampires – the humanity
that they all longed for, Stuart was convinced, they all
secretly desired more than anything in the world. She
brought out his ability to love and be loved, to do things
unselfishly, to staunch his fierce desire for blood, for
destruction, for death. Her effect on all vampires had been
tremendous. Her blood was truly the blood of Life, Stuart
thought. It was the blood that meant vampires could dream
– just a dream, but a dream nonetheless, of being humans
again.

Kalina must be protected, Stuart knew. Whatever the

price. Whatever the cost.

Even if he were the cost.
“Thank you for last night,” said Stuart slowly, raising

Kalina's fingers to his lips. “I am sorry...if I frightened you. I
did not mean to lose control. I never mean to lose control.”

Kalina smiled and planted a quick kiss on his lips. “I

like it when you lose control,” she said. “Don't worry – I
enjoyed it. Every minute of it.”

Stuart could not look her in the eye. He knew this part

would be the hardest of all.

“What is it?” Kalina lifted his chin up so that her eyes

reflected his. “What's wrong?”

“I heard from Jaegar last night, Kalina.”
“What – when?”
“When you were sleeping. He came to me

telepathically. Now that you and I have strengthened our
blood bond, and Jaegar is bonded to you – he can come
again to me, speak into my mind as never before.”

“What did he say?” Kalina frowned. “What does he

want?”

“He has challenged me, Kalina. To a fight to the death.

And his terms are...his terms may give you a chance to
live.”

“Terms? What terms?”
“If I do not fight him, he comes for you tonight.”
“And if you do fight him?”
“Then when I am dead, he will give you one day. One

day to run.”

“When you are dead?” Kalina tightened her grip on his

wrists. “Stuart, what are you talking about? Please – tell
me...”

“I cannot dream of besting Jaegar in combat, Kalina,”

he said. “You know that. We both know that. My brother far
outstripped me back when we were both but vampires; with
Life’s Blood in him, he is unbeatable.”

Kalina's lips began to tremble. “Last night,” she said

slowly, forcing back the tears. “When Jaegar came to me –
I wanted so badly to believe...that he wasn't all bad, after all.
That there were still traces of the real Jaegar – my – our
Jaegar there that I even allowed him to kiss me. But now...”

“But now,” sighed Stuart.
“This isn't Jaegar,” said Kalina, her voice shaking. “I

know this isn't Jaegar. This – thing – that would be so cruel,
so monstrous, that would force us to make these
impossible choices. This is not the man I cared for. This is
not your brother.”

“This is exactly my brother!” Stuart spat, his voice

beginning to take on the tones of rage. “Of course it is –
this is how he was all along...I knew it....”

“Stuart, what are you....”
“I reconciled myself to him – as was necessary. After

Aaron was thought dead, we were forced into an alliance
for your sake. But I have never forgotten our estrangement. I
have never forgotten what happened to Marilee.”

“Marilee?”
“A woman we both loved,” said Stuart shortly, without

looking at her. “A woman whom Jaegar caused to die.”

“Jaegar killed her?”
“Not directly. He killed our father.”
Kalina started. “What?”
“I cannot prove it. Perhaps it will never be proven. But I

know.

I know.

He was found dead days after Jaegar and I

argued over Marilee.”

“Why would he kill...”
“Marilee was my father's wife. Aaron's mother. We

both loved her – she loved our father. She allowed herself
to be turned – willingly! - in order to be with him.”

“Someone would be willingly turned?”
“She gave birth to Aaron – and then had Octavius turn

him when he turned eighteen – for Marilee could not bear
the idea that her son would grow older than she.”

“I see.”
“And then our father was murdered – oh, Jaegar will

never admit it – he says always that it was I who did the
deed. He mocks my self-control, tells me that at the most
crucial moments, I abandon it...” Stuart sighed. “But he
killed our father; I know it in my soul. And then Marilee could
not bear the thought of eternity without him. And so she
walked into the sun. Without a ring. Without a shawl. And
she burned – and we watched her burn. The Jaegar you
knew was...an aberration. His love for you made him good
– for a while. But perhaps Mal's interference has
transformed him into what he always was, only stronger.”

“I can't believe that,” said Kalina. “He seemed so

good.”

“I would stake myself,” said Stuart, “before being force-

fed your blood. I can promise you that, Kalina.”

“You can't go!” Kalina cried. “Stuart – you can't...”
“I must.” He kissed her hand. “I have no other choice.

There is no other way.”

“There must be another way – some other way!”
“If I could...”
“If we left now – you and me – together.Went into

hiding. Went east to New York – or back to Europe – then
maybe he wouldn't find us...”

“And then he would go after Justin, Kalina. And then he

would go after Maeve. He will not rest until he has found you
– and he will kill anyone that gets in his way. This day I can
give you. These twenty-four hours. Use them well. Use them
wisely. Get Justin and Maeve out of town. Jaegar and I
have had this date from the beginning – since my father
died. Since Marilee. It is about you, Kalina, but it is not only
about you. You must not blame yourself. It was a fuel to the
death that had been in the works long before we met you.
Long before we fell in love with you. Both of us. If such a
creature as Jaegar is possibly capable of love...” Stuart's
voice trailed off. “If he is capable, Kalina, then perhaps you
made him so.”

“I can't let you die like this, Stuart! I can't leave you.”

She began kissing him – his neck, his shoulders, all over
his body, wrapping herself up in the blanket as her body
began to shake and shiver from the pain. “Stuart – I'm so
sorry...it's all my fault...all my fault...my blood – my stupid,
cursed, blood.”

He held her steady until at last her sobs had quieted.

“It is not your fault, Kalina,” said Stuart. “Remember

that. You must always remember that. You are not to blame.
Now listen to me, Kalina. You must listen to me. You must
pack as quickly as possible – get out of this place. Bring
Justin with you, and Maeve. Get them out of Rutherford
tonight. I will meet Jaegar at the Winery. I will do...I will do
my best. Perhaps it will not be so bad after all. Perhaps I
will be able to defeat him...it will be fine, Kalina – do not
worry – perhaps there is hope.”

“But Stuart!” Kalina threw her arms around him. “I can't

risk it – Stuart. I don't want to risk it. Not when my feelings
for you are so...I want to love you, I want my vampire love to
be you.”

He kissed her forehead.
“If only we had more time, eh?” He gave her a weak

smile. “Then perhaps you could have loved me.”

“I love you now,” she said fiercely.
“But true love is a more complicated thing altogether,

my darling.”

Kalina sighed.
“Listen to me, Kalina, darling.” He drew her shoulders

into him, pressing his lips against hers, trying to express all
his love, all his ardor with a single kiss. His words came to
her in fits of telepathy.

Even if I die tonight, I will die

knowing that I spent my last night with you – knowing that
you cared for me, that you trust me. For although I am a
monster – like Jaegar, like other vampires, all other
vampires – with you I can be a man, the man I always

dreamed of being. You have made me feel more alive
than I have felt in centuries...more alive than I have
felt....even when I was a man with a heartbeat and
drawings of breath. And I will always be grateful to you for
that. I don’t think I have ever loved another woman as
much as I love you.

He moved his lips away from hers; she drew in breath

sharply.

“I can't let you go...” she whispered.
But it was too late. He had gotten out of bed, now, and

was packing for her – taking clothes and shoving them into
the suitcase that still lay under her bed from her trip with
Octavius.

“I cannot let you die,” he said.
He stopped and turned to her.
“If you need money,” he said, “take this ring. It will be

worth something.”

She felt the familiar shape drop into her hand. This

was the Life’s Blood ring – the ring that allowed him to walk
in the sunlight unharmed.

And together they knew that he would walk in no more

sunlights.

“I can't accept this,” she whispered.
“You must.” He cupped her face. “Kalina, I have

already died once before. This time it will be for something
worthy.”

She turned her face away.

Chapter 13

Stuart sighed as he took the road down to Greystone

Wineries. It was a road he had traveled many times before,
but never did the tiniest elements of things seem as clear to
him as they did right now. The leaves were sharper, their
definition cutting against the evening sky. Sunset had come
over him – the faintest pink glimmer vanishing in the horizon
as inky expanses of night clouded out even the stars. The
rocks beneath him felt rough through his boots; he could
hear every footstep and every crunch of every leaf
deafening him as he walked. Was this to be his last night
on earth? He looked up at the night and there was nothing
there to comfort him, to console him.

The road took him through the outskirts of town,

through the quieter parts of Rutherford. There were no lights
here, no chain stores, no gatherings of students as there
were in the center, in places like the Stomping Ground and
the high school. It was better this way, Stuart thought. He
was not sure he could bear the sight of anything that
reminded him of how much life had to offer – and how
quickly it would be gone.

Another crunch upon the leaves; another footstep –

and every step Stuart took towards the wineries was a step
towards death.

You are doing this for Kalina

, he told himself.

Remember the woman you love. Whatever you do, you

must remember the woman you love.

He gazed out into the distance.
He remembered that when he was a young man, and

afflicted with despair, he used to go into church. These
were Medieval churches, then – the great and Gothic stone
monoliths that dotted the English countryside in those days,
with the great and intoxicating smell of incense and candles
and sacred stained glass. He used to pray for the
intercession of Blessed Virgin and of all the saints – his
favorite was Saint Michael, who was the archangel of
justice. He had felt then, seven hundred years ago, that
prayer brought him closer to the divine, something at once
unfamiliar and all-encompassing: paternal warmth and
eternal power.

It had been nearly seven hundred years since he had

allowed himself to pray. He saw the steeple of Our Blessed
Lady of the Candle in the distance, and bowed his head.

Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.

He had killed – murdered – again and again; he was a

monster with a lust for blood he could not control. If Adam
had rendered all mankind sinful, then Octavius had
rendered Stuart as a vampire more evil still – two times the
original sin.

And yet...Stuart could not help but wonder – if in his

hour of need, his most sincere prayer, the Lord would not
open His heart and His doors to him now. He knew he had
transgressed – unwillingly, unknowingly, but transgressed
all the same, become something inhuman, monstrous,
trailing the sickly line between human and divine, a line only

Jesus Christ was meant to straddle – he had learned all
this in church. When he had been allowed to enter church.

Stuart thought of Father Botticelli, the only vampire

ever to be allowed to enter a church – for he had been a
priest when he was turned, and thus his soul had already
been promised to God. He felt envy added to his litany of
other sins.

Stuart stopped at the doors of the church. Closing his

eyes tightly, he pressed at the doors. They swung open at
his touch.

He stared at the empty threshold for a while, praying,

willing, begging something divine to let him through.

Father, please.

As soon as he took a step he knew it was fruitless. He

felt the awesome power of something beyond him rock him,
shake his bones into an agonizing chaos, and then throw
him backwards into the dirt, an electric current running
through his dead veins.

No, even now – even with his sacrifice – he was a

dead thing, an unholy thing, fit only to be banished. It would
not stop him – Stuart would not let it stop him.

Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been

seven hundred years since my last confession.

He rushed at the door, feeling its punishment come

upon him once more.

There was no use. It was too late. Seven hundred

years too late.

He finished his prayer in silence and walked onwards.

If Kalina had loved him, if her Life’s Blood had allowed

him to be human, he would have been able to enter a
church again. He would be able to receive communion – to
pray – above all things to confess and be forgiven, his soul
clean and worthy of heaven. And then he realized perhaps
death was the greatest gift Jaegar could give him. If he
could no longer be a human, then he wished no longer to be
a vampire. And if protecting Kalina – not because he loved
her, as a man loves a woman, but only because he loved
her as Christ had taught him to love all men, was the last
thing he did, he might perhaps have ended his life with
something worthwhile – something real.

Something human.
No, Jaegar could not turn Kalina into a true vampire -

Stuart could not allow him. He prayed again that these
twenty-four hours would be enough time.

The first thing that struck Stuart as he entered the

Winery was the silence. Everything was quiet – an
enormous, overhanging quiet that stifled the air out of the
room. For a moment, Stuart stopped in panic. Had it been
a trick – to take Stuart away from Kalina, leaving her
exposed so that Jaegar could go after her on his own?
Stuart shuddered. No, he thought – Jaegar could easily
best Stuart – in front of Kalina , if need be. There was no
reason to go through all this trouble. And besides, Jaegar
would have relished the planned execution of his brother.

He heard a whistling whirl shudder throughout the

room. Stuart rounded to find Jaegar sitting calmly in
Gerard's old armchair. He looked content, peaceful,

businesslike, as their father had, as if he ought to be
smoking a cigar or chewing on a pipe.

“Jaegar...” Stuart growled.
“Hello, dear brother.”
It was the first time Stuart had seen Jaegar since he

had been turned by Mal. Stuart could see the differences,
subtle though they were. Jaegar's eyes were colder and
harsher, now, glinting with evil. He had the same beauty, of
course – the same marble loveliness that had drawn all the
attention away from Stuart and towards his more seductive
brother – but now evil was more palpable than ever.

“I always knew,” said Stuart softly. “That this is what

you really were.”

“Tut tut, Stuart!” Jaegar pretended to be offended.

“Aren't Christians supposed to forgive? Oh, wait – I forgot –
you're not really a Christian, are you? I rather say you've
been...excommunicated!” He laughed a great and hollow
laugh; Stuart shivered.

“I have come, said Stuart.
“Sit, brother.” Jaegar motioned to another chair; Stuart

felt his knees buckle under him as a chair sped like
lightning under his legs, prompted by Jaegar's telepathy.

“See what I can do!” Jaegar smiled. “Exciting, isn't it?

Remember when you and I used to try out new powers,
Stuart? When we were first vampires? Those were good
days.”

Those were days without the pain, without the guilt –

the newborn days of vampires. Stuart remembered them as
both the blackest and the happiest days of his life. He had

never been crueler; he had never been less encumbered by
guilt.

“It seems like only yesterday that Father sat there,”

said Stuart. He could not look at his brother “And now what
has happened to us?”

“Our father kept us in check, I suppose,” said Jaegar,

looking out the window. “Ah, well – we were rowdy boys,
weren't we?” His face darkened. “I always loved you, you
know,” he said. “You were always my brother. Despite your
folly – your naiveté. You were my brother.”

Stuart sighed. “You were my brother,” he admitted.
“Perhaps I cannot blame you, after all,” said Jaegar.

“After all, we had only the same misfortune – to fall in love
with the same beautiful woman.”

“Kalina...”
“Delicious – intoxicating Kalina.”
“Perhaps you are not to blame at all.”
For the first time since Jaegar's visit the night before,

Stuart began to feel a twinge of relief. Had Kalina been
right – had Jaegar's initial humanity shown through; had her
love been able to conquer the effects of her blood?

“Then again, perhaps you are.”
In a flash Jaegar was on top of Stuart, lashing out like

a snake snapping at its prey. Stuart gave a loud cry as he
rolled to one side, parrying the attack.

“Well done, my boy,” said Jaegar. “Not such a fool

after all.”

Stuart responded with a blow upon the face.
He always knew how it would end. Even with his

punches, his blows, his attempts to wield the chains of
silver he had bought, he knew there was no hope for him.
Jaegar was better, faster, stronger; he was high on Life’s
Blood, and its evil coursed through him – a heart pumping
for the first time in centuries.

Stuart was no match for him.
And then he was disarmed, pinned upon the ground,

with his neck exposed and Jaegar's fangs – bared and
enormous, coming ever closer to the scratches on his
neck...

Chapter 14

Stuart closed his eyes, waiting for Jaegar's teeth to

sink down into his neck, waiting for death, waiting for
oblivion. For a moment that hung into eternity, this death did
not come. And then he heard Jaegar's voice, high-pitched
and cruel, break through the silence. “It doesn't have to end
like this,” said Jaegar. “You are my brother, after all. There
is another way...”

“What are you talking about,” Stuart spat out through

gritted teeth.

“You could taste her too...” Jaegar laughed. “You could

taste that sweet nectar you want so badly. You could have
everything you ever wanted. You can be strong like me.”

“I will not side with you, brother!”
“You must...” Jaegar grinned. “You will. After all, you'll

have to make the choice very – very soon...”

As he lowered his fangs, the room was disturbed by a

loud crash.

“Kalina?” Stuart leaped up as Jaegar looked away,

distracted. Kalina had overturned one of the tables to
cause a distraction. She stood firmly before them, a stake
clenched in her hand, staring straight ahead.

“Go on, then,” she said to Jaegar. “Come and get me

– like a real vampire.”

“Well,” said Jaegar. His face had drained; she had

surprised him. “This is getting interesting.”

Stuart closed his eyes and concentrated.

Kalina – what are you doing? I tried to give you a day

to live – one day – I tried so hard to save you – why didn't
you let me save you?

I'm sorry.

Her telepathic voice was full of pain.

I

couldn't let anyone else die because of me – for me. I told
Justin – Maeve – told them to get out of there, convinced
them to leave...but I stay, tonight. And if I die...

His heart swelled at her bravery. With her lips pursed

together and the look of fixed concentration on her face as
she held up the stake, she reminded Stuart of one of the
famous paintings that he had seen of Joan of Arc at battle –
courageous, humble, strong.

********

Saying goodbye to Octavius had been the hardest

thing Kalina had ever done. She had done her best to
forget him since his instruction to her to do so – the
realization of the impossibility of her love. And yet when she
sent him her telepathic message, she found tears
streaming down her cheeks, as she had imagined – just for
a second but a second so glorious that her imagination
seeped over into reality – that they could be together, that
the situation could be otherwise.

She had seen Jaegar and Stuart fight so often, work

out their sibling rivalry in a series of brawls and duels. But
this time it was different. She had seen the murderous glint

in Jaegar's eye – the fear mingled with resignation in
Stuart's gaze. She knew Jaegar had struck to kill – and that
he would not let up until one or the both of them are dead.

“Good,” said Jaegar. His voice was light and strange.

“Perfect timing – she's here! Now we can begin the test.”

Stuart and Kalina started in unison. “What test?” they

asked together.

“To see,” said Jaegar. “You seem to love this vampire

– such a changeable woman, aren't you Kalina? Yet you
seem to love me, too. Has that changed? Or has last night
with Stuart made you forget all about me?” He grinned. “Tell
me, which one of us Greystone Brothers make the better
lover?”

In a flash he was on top of Kalina, her stake strewn

across the room and her wrists throbbing under his tight
grip. She might have been able to fight him off before, but
now that he had been turned her own blood overpowered
her.

“No...” Kalina whispered.
“Let's see if you really love Stuart as you say you do...”
Suddenly Kalina found herself thrown back against

Gerard's old arm-chair.

“Don't move,” said Jaegar, and instantly Kalina felt

compulsion bind her limbs together to the chair; she could
not even scream. Her vocal cords too had seized up.

Then in another flash Jaegar had grabbed Stuart, and

knocked him to his knees at Kalina's feet.

“What are you doing?” Stuart rounded on Jaegar,

staring at him with brotherly hatred.

“I'm giving you a gift, brother,” said Stuart. “I'm offering

you that which you have fantasized about for years and
years – that delicious, savory drop...seize the day, vampire!
Seize the night. Stop being so noble.”

“What are you talking about?” Stuart growled.
“Drink!” Jaegar laughed. “I want you to drink, little

brother. An experiment! How fun! Let's see what happens.
Maybe you'll become human – as you always wanted. Or
maybe =- probably – you won't. You'll become like me.”

“I won't do it.” Stuart forced out each word as Jaegar's

fingers encircled his neck. “I won't let it happen.”

“Then how will you know?” Jaegar feigned sincerity. “If

she really loves you? If she is worth giving up your life?”

“It's a biased test,” said Stuart. “It won't work. She's not

giving her blood freely. Like with you – that wasn't a test
either.”

“It was a test!” snapped Jaegar. “A test I am glad to

say I failed.”

“No!” Kalina at last regained the strength to speak.

“You were forced to drink my blood. And the blood from the
vials was taken against my will – it wasn't the same thing at
all! That blood was tainted – with anger and fear, Jaegar,
with pain! If you had drunk from me directly first....maybe
you would have become human again.”

She caught Stuart's eye and knew this was the only

hope – distracting Jaegar, convincing him, wheedling him
away from the evil that had so caught his brain.

Jaegar had stopped short. For a moment something

like regret appeared on his face. “Never mind,” he said.

“Why would I want to become human – when I now have all
the human qualities I desire – daywalking for instance – but
I can still remain a vampire if I wish it?”

“Because it means you can be with Kalina,” Stuart said

quietly. “Jaegar, please – I know you loved her! I know you
once loved her so much that you were willing to become
human, to grow old with her, to have a life with her. It is what
we all wanted, Jaegar. It is what I wanted...”

Jaegar turned his face away. Kalina's heart jumped

within her – was there hope in Jaegar after all?

But before Kalina could finish her thought, Jaegar was

upon her again. He had an iron grip on the back of Stuart's
neck with one hand and his other hand wrapped in Kalina's
hair, pulling it backwards, exposing her neck. He pushed
Stuart closer and closer, using his nails to make a tiny cut in
Kalina's neck.

Kalina could see Stuart inhale sharply the intoxicating

element of the blood.

“Look at that beautiful neck, little brother,” said Jaegar,

pushing Stuart's head ever closer. “And that magnificent
pulse. I daresay I always thought – and still think, even with
my heightened senses – that Kalina has one of the most
lovely necks I have ever seen.” He trailed it slowly with his
gaze.

Kalina could sense the hunger in Stuart's eyes; he

squeezed them shut and she could still hear his desire.

No no I won't I won't do it smells so good no like

violets no no I won't I want want it. Want. Want it want her –
no! - want...

no! - want...

“No!”

shouted Kalina, forcing herself and her limbs free

of her compulsion. But Jaegar's grip was too strong. “I won't
give you my blood like this, Stuart. It isn't a true test. You're
not giving Life’s Blood a chance. You're forcing us into this
– you're forcing him to become like you, like Mal! Jaegar,
please!”

But Jaegar remained cool and implacable. “But I've

always wanted him to turn into me, my darling,” said
Jaegar. “I've always wanted that – since we were little.
That's what caused such strife between us two brothers. He
was nothing like me. But now we can be as twins.”

“I will never be like you!” Stuart shouted. “Seven

hundred years – and I have done everything in my power to
be nothing like you.”

“At least I'm giving you a chance,” said Jaegar. “A

chance to be human with your love. Just to see – although
I'll kill you anytime. And that will drive you mad, my dear
brother. Knowing that you had a chance with her – and you
still failed. That I'll get her in the end anyway.”

“Stop it!” Kalina cried. “I loved you, Jaegar. I loved you

so much I would have given you my blood – you would have
been made human. I thought I loved Octavius, but every
time I’m near you, I can’t help wanting you, needing you.
You said yourself our chemistry is explosive. You’re the one
my blood cries out for. I just didn’t realize it.”

Jaegar froze. A look of longing – fleeting and

ephemeral – passed over his face.

“But you've destroyed that love, Jaegar. Destroyed it

with your cruelty. I care for you still. I care for your brother.
Enough with the torturing – the killing – the death the pain. It
stops here, Jaegar. It stops with me. End it – for all our
sakes.”

For a moment, Jaegar's eyes had misted over with

pain, but then the pain was gone, and Kalina could see only
cruelty there.

“Drink,” Jaegar whispered again, forcing Stuart's lips

into the wound he had made. “Drink.”

Want want no do not want want want...

The madness in Stuart's mind began to drown out

everything else, until Kalina could hear nothing but his
desire.

Chapter 15

Kalina closed her eyes, waiting for that familiar feeling

– at once intoxicating and terrifying – of Stuart's teeth
sinking low into her neck. Not two days earlier she had felt
Jaegar – felt its horror mingled with the desire it had
inadvertently awakened in her, and her feelings were no
different now. As her heart began to quicken and then slow
in terror, she felt her breath turn shallow; her body was
tensed to receive the penetrating force of his kiss.

Compulsion began coming over her – both Stuart's

and Jaegar's – and she could taste Stuart's own
compulsion – for Jaegar had hypnotized him – on the tip of
her tongue.

No,

she whispered to herself.

No – I can't...

She wanted to live! To live! This was Life’s Blood –

after all – the blood of life, and life coursed through her, and
she could not give it up. She could not give it up – give up
her own life, and along with it Stuart's, Jaegar's, all those
who relied on her for some hope of salvation from their
vampiric fate. She wouldn't allow it.

Something like adrenaline rushed through her; it took

her over. She felt at once that she were riding a stallion – a
wild horse swift and uncontrolled – bucking over savage
terrain, taking her with it, a passenger upon her own fury.
She did not think; she could not think. Something
monstrous and unknown reared up in her blood and
trampled her veins and her thoughts into nothingness.

Suddenly she stood, casting off Stuart as lightly as she

would a feather upon her lap. And then she was facing
Jaegar. Her hands found his chest and then she pushed
hard.

He flew from the force of her blow, falling backwards

across the room, slamming with a heavy thud into the wall.

For a moment there was silence. Stuart and Jaegar

both turned to her, expressions of shock upon their faces.
And Kalina saw her face too reflected in theirs, a mirror of
her own confusion. What had happened to her? What had
she done?

“What?” Stuart whispered, softly. She could see that

compulsion had left his gaze; he was sane now – his kind,
blue eyes staring out at her with their customary softness.
Jaegar was nursing his wounds against the wall – he bled
where she had hit him, and from where he had scratched
against the wall. His cuts began to heal one by one, but he
remained savagely still, staring at her.

“What have you done?” Jaegar asked.
“The blood...” Stuart whispered.
The Life Blood? Kalina rounded about, gaining time to

grab her stake. Was this what had made her so strong?
Was this what made her whole line so strong, the Life
Blood that pulsed through her, had pulsed through Carriers
like Tess and Johanna, a whole line of girls descended
from that first union between human and vampire – some
strange thing, not human, not vampire, something in
between.

“The blood...” Stuart whispered again.

And then it hit her. Life’s Blood could turn Stuart

human. It could turn Jaegar human. It was the blood of

Life

–

not of this – this death, destruction, violence. It wasn't her

blood that did this.

It was her.
A vampire made human. Kalina's heart began to beat

faster. Was that what she was deep down? A vampire
turned by true love – the love of a mother for her child, of a
wife for her husband – into a human? Mortal – able to
breathe, to possess a heartbeat – and yet so very strong,
so very dangerous like a vampire?

Kalina felt the blood-knowledge course through her,

and then she knew it completely, with a surety that had
been buried within her veins for years.

She was a vampire.
The Life’s Blood wasn't what made her strong. It was

only what made her human. She was the daughter of
vampires who turned human.

“Stand back,” she said, staring Jaegar down. “And

don't you dare move.”

He hung back warily, waiting to see what she would do

next. Even now, at the height of his cruelty, he was still
beautiful – that impossible beauty that had fell her the first
day they met, that had led her into such constant confusion,
that had led her into such heated desire...

“What did you do?” Jaegar asked. “You can...” His

moment of weakness faded, and his high, cold laugh
returned. He arched an eyebrow, his manner turning as
cold and cruel as steel. “Not just content to sleep with

vampires, are you? Now you have to be as strong as a
vampire.”

The insult stung; he of all people knew her confusion,

her pain, her indecision when it came to Octavius and the
Greystone Brothers.

“I am a vampire,” said Kalina. “Part vampire. A

vampire made human.” She had, for a moment, a brief and
terrifying moment, overcome the effects of Life’s Blood in
her. And so she knew – with a glimmer of hope so faint it
barely registered at all – that perhaps Jaegar could too. “A
vampire held back by Life’s Blood. Until I overcame it –
used my powers...” She had to think quickly – what would
work? She had almost convinced Jaegar before. She shot
Stuart a look – half-apologetic, half-warning. She knew
what she had to do. “And so can you.”

“Overcome the Life’s Blood?” Jaegar scoffed. “Why

would I want to?”

She knew what she would have to do was risky; there

was no choice.

“Because you loved me, once,” she said softly.

“Because you loved me so much – and I loved you.” She
took a step closer to him, feeling Stuart's eyes settle upon
her, feeling his pain even as she knew there was no
alternative to save the both of them. After last night with
Stuart, after what she had begun to feel for him, she knew
doing this would hurt him more than anything – her cruelty
bringing out the worst of his fears and sibling rivalry. But
there was no other way. She could hear his pain pounding
in her ears, although she knew he knew what she was

doing.

She took hold of Jaegar's shoulder, trying to practice

compulsion the way he had practiced it so often on her.
“Didn't you love me, Jaegar?” She whispered into his ear,
his neck, his shoulders. “Once?” She pressed him lightly up
against the wall, feeling him sink into the rough stones. She
placed her lips against his and began kissing him,
transmitting all her pain, her love, her anger into him.
“Remember when I found you in the vineyards, Jaegar?
That time that you realized that you loved me.” She kissed
him again. Was this what a vampire did, to create
compulsion? Lying – with the truth buried deep inside like a
hidden gem. “That you'd protect me?” She tried to show
longing in her eyes, a longing she felt but didn't dare
express – he recognized the danger and she did too. She
ran her fingers up and down the smooth marble length of
his face.

“I came back here for you, Jaegar,” she said. “I'm here

for you, Jaegar. Fighting for you. TO save you. I can't give
up on you. Not when I know the real Jaegar is within you
somewhere – deep inside you. I can't give up on you,
Jaegar. After all, you never gave up on me. You still haven’t
given up. You do still want me, do you?”

The real Jaegar

had

to be there, deep inside this cruel

facade he was putting on. Jaegar remained stoic and still
against her touch – was his silence evidence for a
struggle? “All those things you said to me – in the past few
days. You didn't mean them, did you?” Her voice was
wheedling, calm, consoling. “I know you didn't mean them.

You couldn't have. Not the Jaegar I know.” She brushed her
fingers over his eyelids; they fluttered closed. “Not the
Jaegar I love.”

She heard Stuart gasp. She knew he knew what she

was doing; it didn't make it any easier. “I know the real
Jaegar. You've let me see him – vampire or no vampire.
You've let me touch him. You've let me love him, deep in his
heart, where there is still love, still humanity, still pain.” She
let her fingers trace down to his chest, his silent chest. “That
is why you love me.” She kissed him again, and then
withdrew, staring him in the face, straight on.

“If you turn me, Jaegar, I promise – you'll lose that in

me. You'll lose me forever – more finally than if you killed
me. I won't be the woman you love anymore. And then you'll
never be human.” She took a deep breath. It was now or
never. “If you love me, Jaegar, let me go. Forget about me.”

She could feel Jaegar's fist clench beneath her. His

face was a mask of pain and conflict. This was not mere
compulsion. She had struck through to the very core of his
soul. Instinctively – with a power that seemed to go beyond
his will, he reached out a hand and stroked her face. Like
the old Jaegar would have done. The good Jaegar.

“Kalina,” he whispered. “I, I...” His voice trailed off. He

swallowed hard. “I can't...”

He turned to Stuart, forcing the words out. “Take her

out of here!” His voice was brusque and hard, but it was not
anger she heard. “Before I...” He couldn't finish his
sentence; he contorted with the full force of his agony.
“Hurry.”

Jaegar's fangs shot out once more from his face –

cruelty taking over again.

But he had given them time. Stuart was around her

now, holding her tightly, grabbing her with the full force of
his love, spiriting her away into the darkness, far away from
Jaegar, as fast as he could.

Chapter 16

As Stuart carried her through the cloudless night

Kalina found that she could not move. She was stunned –
shaking even as her body remained rigid, still. Stuart's
arms, clasped closely and tightly around her, were not
enough to make her forget even for an instant the sight of
Jaegar's face as it contorted before her, the features trying
independently of their own to align themselves with either
evil or good. What had she expected, after all? Kalina
flushed, glad that the night covered her shame from Stuart.
Did she expect that her love would serve as a balm,
magically turning Jaegar back into the witty, jocular boy she
had once known? That the sadistic creature that had
haunted her dreams would crumble and fall away, leaving
the real Jaegar innocent and whole in his place? No, it
wasn't so easy. Stuart had seen Jaegar's darkness even
before the turning, and Jaegar was more complicated than
that. It was what had most attracted her to him at first – this
complication. Now, it filled her with shame. Her love had not
been enough – or had it?

He had let her go. It had taken every effort in his body,

but he had let her go. He had set her free – begged Stuart
to take her away before he could attack her again. He had
let Stuart live – his brother, whom he had sworn to kill. He
had let Kalina live. Kalina sighed at last, the air escaping
her body all at once in a fluid rush of icy-cold wind. She

hadn't expected all three of them to leave the Wineries
alive. It was a small mercy, she supposed. They were still in
danger – they all were. But she had delayed the inevitable a
little longer. Stuart was alive a little longer – and Jaegar...

Jaegar! Was there some hope for him after all? She

had felt the soft touch of his fingertips on her skin, a touch
that suggested love, truth, goodness. It had been so brief –
that goodness had vanished. But it had still been there.
Jaegar had overcome the influence of her blood, just like
she had.

Just like she had. As she flew through the air, Kalina

looked down at her body, her fingertips, her legs, her
shoulders. Was this the body of a vampire? She flexed her
toes and fingers. Was this what being a vampire felt like
Could she have been one all along – and never noticed,
never thought...

That was what Life’s Blood carriers were, after all.

Vampires – or dhampirs, halflings – made human. Kalina
thought. Did this mean she could do what she had seen
Octavius do – fight hordes, protect herself truly, fend off the
enemy? If an average vampire was made more powerful by
Life’s Blood, could she not perhaps harness it – use it to
her advantage?

She could hear Stuart's silence; his pain was palpable.

She turned to him as they rushed over Rutherford. The
houses looked so tiny in the distance – was this her old
life? So small, so insignificant, in comparison to what had
come before?

“Stuart...” she said softly.

“What is it?” He did not look back at her. She knew he

was avoiding her gaze, refusing to confront what had
happened in the house.

“Stuart, I'm sorry...”
“For what?” His voice was clipped. “You did nothing

wrong.”

“I did what I thought would save him.” Her voice rose a

notch higher. “Your brother.”

“You did what you could.” He still did not look at her.
“It was the only way I could think of – to get through to

him. We share a blood bond. I could hear his thoughts, feel
his feelings. He still has feelings for me.”

“I share a blood bond with him too,” said Stuart, a

moment too quickly. They settled down by the side of the
road with a thud. Kalina regained her balance and they
continued walking. “And he loves you very much. I know it
too.”

There was silence between them, passing like a

shadow. At last Stuart broke it.

“He is trying to fight this,” he said. “To his credit – he is

trying. He does not want to be cruel to you. But Life’s
Blood...”

“Life' s Blood,” Kalina sighed.
“His love for you has become an obsession – as

unquenchable as it is dangerous.”

“I know. And...believe me, I know that! I know the real

Jaegar would never do something like that to me. If he
weren't under the influence, I wouldn't stand for it. You know
that. No girl would – or should! Not like that.”

She wondered if she weren't trying to convince herself,

too. She felt the attraction to him even now – the memory of
his former self – combined with an irresistible draw towards
this new incarnation. She would never act on it – she knew
as much – but there was something attractive about
Jaegar's obsession with her, his madness – an intensity
she had never before experienced. It disgusted her and
horrified her; she refused to acknowledge it!

It was only the Life’s Blood that made him cruel – it

wasn't his fault. And thus it wasn't her fault, either, if she had
felt a spark of electricity when she kissed him again.

“I will not lie to you, Kalina. It did hurt me – to watch. To

watch the two of you...” Stuart looked down. “The intensity, it
felt real.”

“It had to,” said Kalina. “I used my real sorrow, real love

– not romantic, but

something –

to try to convey to him...to

get through to him...”

“I understand,” said Stuart, but she could hear in his

voice that understanding was an effort for him. “I know you
did it for the right reasons.”

But did he

feel

it, instinctively? Kalina blushed again.

“Even so,” she said, “I shouldn't be kissing him. I know I
shouldn't.” She laughed softly to herself. “You're the most
noble vampire I know, Stuart. And the kindest. And one of
the most noble and kind people I know – I won't dare say
you're one up on Justin, but you're awfully close...but I know
how it looked to you.”

“You did the right thing,” said Stuart. “The brave thing.

You tried to get him to listen to you. You told him to let you

free – to move on. And that was the bravest thing you could
have done. And his love for you was strong enough to let
him give us both time.”

Her heart leaped in spite of herself. Kalina couldn't

look at Stuart, couldn't admit that his words had brought up
a secret happiness within her. He loved her – and his love
was strong... He loved her, and she had said she loved him
too! She sighed. Every time she thought she had made a
decision, something else came to threaten her
complacency. Perhaps that was a natural result of being
around so many vampires.

Or of being a vampire.
Kalina turned to Stuart. She sighed. “Stuart,” she said,

looking own. “I – I have something for you.” She had kept
the ring he had given her – unable to bring herself to pawn
it, to confront the reality, or even the possibility, of his
imminent death. She dropped the ring into his palm. “I think
you'll need this after all, huh?” she said, forcing out a smile.
“And I'm so glad of that.” She could see the Life’s Blood,
encapsulated within the ring, give his skin a special glow
where it touched it.

“So,” said Stuart gravely. “After all that, I didn't even get

a chance to thank you”

“Thank me?” Kalina should have laughed. “For what?”
“For saving my life.” Stuart was not smiling. His

expression was serious, even severe; his gaze pierced
straight into Kalina's soul, and made her feel as if he could
see her thoughts.

“For doing what I'm supposed to do, you mean,” said

Kalina, trying to lighten the mood with a smile. “For
standing up to Jaegar – for the people I care about?” She
scoffed. “No, Stuart, don't thank me – please don't thank
me. You shouldn't have had to risk your life at all. You
shouldn't have had to be there for me in the first place.
Whatever was happening with you and Jaegar.”

“Ah, yes, our feud,” said Stuart darkly. He dropped his

gaze quickly.

“Your feud – your

stupid

feud!”

“It has been going on for centuries.”
“You think he killed your father.”
“I know he killed my father.” Stuart sighed. “

Our

father.”

“But are you sure?” Kalina cut in quickly.
“What do you mean? Of course I'm sure!” Stuart

responded almost too quickly. “It must have been him –
who else...who else could have....”

“But do you know for

sure

?”

Stuart conceded there was no proof. “He accuses me

of having done it – the nerve.”

Kalina raised her voice softly. “Remember when

Maeve was attacked,” she said. “Right after our first date?
Remember that?”

“I remember,” said Stuart stiffly.
“I was so sure that it was Jaegar who had done it – he

let me think it was. So sure. And then it turned out it wasn't
Jaegar after all. It was some random bounty hunter come to
get his hands on Life’s Blood – as it turns out. Remember
that? I was wrong...”

“I don't see...”
“Maybe you were wrong, too!” Kalina pleaded. “Maybe

he wasn't as bad as all that – before...before Mal turned
him. And what if he's good – deep down, truly good? He
broke through the Life’s Blood for a moment; perhaps that
was enough time. Perhaps there is a chance for him after
all, for Jaegar to turn back and to break the spell. If we work
together -you and me and Jaegar together – we can fight
it.”

Stuart stopped short. “What do you mean?” His voice

rose higher. “What are you planning to do?”

Kalina said nothing.
“Kalina?”
“We can't leave him,” said Kalina. The moment she

said it she felt there was no choice. “Not when he's broken
through – he's made progress. We've seen it.” Her eyes
shone with the power of her intensity. “There's hope. Stuart
– listen – there's hope!”

Chapter 17

Kalina grabbed hold of Stuart. “Listen,” she said,

tightening her grip on his arm. “We have to go back.” She
sighed and shook her head. “We can't just leave him. Now
that we know...the real Jaegar's in there somewhere. Deep
down.”

It was charitable hope, but Kalina knew that she was

feeling something else, something she didn't dare share
with Stuart. His words had reawakened her old desires, her
old loves, and as she spoke she felt that she saw the image
of Jaegar as he was once before her: affable and kind,
witty and charming, with that mischievous streak that at
once had intrigued and infuriated her. He had fascinated
her from the very beginning with his easy beauty and idle
charm. When she thought she had lost him – she had
mourned him deeply – mourned a love that had gone deep
to her bones without her even realizing it. He represented
for her all that was dangerous – all that was passionate. It
had reflected her love for Octavius – in his inaccessibility
and maturity that totality of which all of them: Stuart, Jaegar,
and poor vanished Aaron, were only a part. She knew
rationally that what she loved in the three brothers was the
trace of Octavius within them; yet, now that she had
resigned herself to losing Octavius and his love, promised
him to move on to one of the brothers – a more sensible
option – what she felt for Jaegar somehow felt more

powerful, more real. Was he the true heir to Octavius’ blood
– and therefore her heart? Certainly Octavius had thought
so. He had infinite power and patience for Jaegar – he
hadn't even killed him, despite Jaegar's disloyalty on the
part of Life’s Blood. He had cared for Jaegar too deeply for
that, with a paternal sensibility he had never shown truly to
Stuart or to Aaron. In terms of the warrior hierarchy, Kalina
knew, Jaegar was truly Octavius’ heir: strong, wild,
passionate,

bad

but never evil.

Until now.
No, Kalina thought to herself. No – that couldn't be.

She had seen Jaegar's soul when she had tried to convince
him just now in the Winery, had felt the power of their
electrifying kiss spider out through her veins. She couldn't
feel what she were feeling: this love, this power, this
passion, if it were in fact true after all that it was only evil
that remained in that callous and beautiful shell that was
Jaegar. There had to be the real Jaegar there, too.

She could not love evil, after all. And she loved him.
She turned to Stuart. “Please!”
His face was implacable, his pain and anger masked

by his rational thought. “We cannot,” he said, and it was
clear that the effort of these words choked him. “Not when
you know how dangerous he is – he can be. He almost
killed us both, Kalina. And in the one moment he was able
to break free, he told you to go. So go. You told him to stop
loving you, to forget you. SO let him stop. Let him go.”

Was that really what Kalina had wanted? She had

wanted to live – but she felt suddenly, irrationally, that to die

in Jaegar's heart was to die for good, so truly did his love
sustain her. “That's the thing, Stuart,” said Kalina. Her voice
felt hollow and empty. “I know that. I

know

all that. And I still

want to go. It's stupid, it's stupid to go back, and yet with
Jaegar it is the only thing I can do. I'm the only one who can
get through to him, Stuart; what if I'm the only one who can
get him through this? And what if I'm the only one who can
save him? If anyone could do it – it would be me. I'm
responsible for this. It's my blood within him – what if I can
harness that blood? Control it! I got through to him before –
and he showed himself. Our Jaegar. The person we both
care about. And he let him go. I could feel it telepathically –
how much he's fighting the control this blood has over him.”

“It's impossible!”
“It's not impossible, Stuart!” Kalina cried. “Listen to me

– just listen, please! What happens if we don't go back?
He'll stay bad, without our help, and he'll keep trying to track
us down – and then he'll catch us, and kill us, and
everybody that we know and love and care about with us.
And when we're dead – guess what? He'll stay like this:
evil, deranged, insane, forever.”

“Or he'll turn you into a vampire.” said Stuart. “And then

you'll be with him – forever – forced to confront that evil
every day of your soulless life. He won't stop. I've seen
Jaegar when he's obsessed – and it was never as bad as
this. He'll stop at nothing to get to you.”

“I know – but...” Kalina's voice trailed off. “It's

Jaegar

,

Stuart. There's hope for him. Please.” She thought back to
the Winery. If she had gotten through to him once – why

the Winery. If she had gotten through to him once – why
couldn't she get through to him again? And whatever power
she had unleashed back there – it would keep them safe,
protected, strong. “Did you see what I did back there,
Stuart? I was able to break through that compulsion. I was
able to fight Jaegar back – physically as well as psychically,
Whatever power I have with the Life’s Blood – I will use it. I
can use it.”

“I know,” said Stuart. His face was cloudy with pain and

uncertainty. “I know.” He gathered her into his arms, holding
her tightly. She could feel his strong muscles press close
around her, making her feel as she always did when she
was around him: warm, safe, protected. She didn't want to
let the feeling go.

He whispered his words into her neck. “You're

something else, Kalina. Something extraordinary. Special.
A human with the strength of a vampire – a girl with the
heart and soul of a lion.”

She sighed. “I don't know why,” she said. “Or what it is.

Why I am the way I am.”

He stroked her hair softly as she spoke. “When I was in

Paris with Octavius, we went to the

Bibliotheque

Supernaturel

to research my upbringing – to figure out who

I was, where I came from. The myth about the Chinese
scientist and his daughter – it was true. A vampire-turned-
human mated with a human proper – and over time more
vampires entered the line – it seemed every female carrier
was destined to fall in love with one of those vampires. And
that's who my parents are. Half-humans, half-vampires.”

“Octavius told you all this?”
“I found some papers in the library – from the

orphanage where I was put up for adoption. A collection of
record. And...it's funny, isn't it? Me and my crazy feelings for
all you vampires. Maybe it's just my blood talking. The
carrier seems to get stronger and stronger – the more
vampires that enter the bloodline, I guess. That's why I'm
attracted to vampires, maybe. Just the survival of the
species – my natural desire to choose the most powerful
mate possible to reproduce with.” She gave a bitter laugh.
“Gross, isn't it? My ancestors fell in love with the strongest
vampires they knew. And their blood got stronger over time.
And that's why I'm so strong. That's probably what
happened back there...I don’t know. There isn’t anyone
around like me so I couldn’t ask. Generations upon
generations of effort. That doctor in China, that ancestor of
mine, who wanted to give humans the strength of vampires,
in order to fight vampires, may have succeeded at last.
Because I'm here now – and I can control Life’s Blood,
rather than letting it control me.”

Stuart held her more closely.
“So am I a human in love with a vampire?” Kalina said.

“Or am I a vampire that this blood allows to be – just barely
– human? Am I in love with another species – or just
looking for my own kind?”

Stuart turned away. His expression terrified her. It was

not one of love – but for a moment it had become one of
repulsion, one of fear.

“Stuart?” her voice began to tremble. “Stuart – what is

it? What's wrong?”

He wriggled out of her grasp – jerking away a bit too

quickly. What had happened? Had she frightened him –
disgusted him? She let her face fall in shame. “What's
wrong with me finding out who I am? Realizing it – my
strength, my power...”

But Stuart's face remained downcast. At last he looked

up with her, forcing his face into something like composure.
“I am happy for you, Kalina. Truly I am happy for you.”

“But that’s not all is it?”
“I am happy for you,” Stuart repeated stiffly.
“But...?”
Stuart sighed. “But I am also worried. It is I imagine a

boon to our cause for you to have vampire strength. But will
you suffer too from the other...tendencies of a vampire. Will
your having overriden your blood give you those same
desires?”

“What?” Kalina was aghast. “No, of course...I mean, I

don't think so. I've never wanted to drink anyone' s blood, if
that's what you're asking. Just – I mean, your blood. And
Octavius and Jaegar's. But that's different. It's vampire
blood.”

“But you wanted it?”
“It tasted...I mean – of course I wanted it!”
“I see.” Stuart turned away.
“Do you think instead of human blood, I crave vampire

blood? But Maeve drank your blood too, and it didn't make
her a vampire?” Yet as Kalina thought back to the vigor and
passion with which she had sucked the vampires' blood,

she wasn't altogether sure she wasn't being disingenuous.

“I just – I just don't want you to lose your humanity,” said

Stuart. “You can understand that much.”

“Right,” said Kalina, putting her hands on her hips.

“Because that's what you love about me, isn't it?”

“Isn't what?”
“That I'm human.”
There was a long pause, a pause that filled Kalina with

agony. “Yes,” said Stuart gravely. “I suppose it is.” He
looked up at her. “I will not lie to you, Kalina. I despise my
own vampire nature. All that I see as human in you – your
life, your light, your passion – makes me love you, for it
reminds me of a world I thought gone forever.” He began
pacing swiftly. “If you are truly turned into a vampire – if you
become a vampire like Jaegar – I don't know how...” he let
his voice trail off. “I don't know how I'd feel.”

“I see,” said Kalina stiffly.
“It – it would change things.”
“But I'm not a full-fledged-vampire,” said Kalina, jerking

away from him. “I'm not even sure I am a vampire. I mean, I
don't know what I am. Vampire-turned human. Halfling.
Something in between – something different. Humans -
vampires – former vampires...”

“But your strength,” Stuart could not resist speaking.

“It's vampire strength.”

The horror in his voice said it all.
Kalina felt anger overwhelm her, an anger mixed with

pain and shame. “I can't

help

it,” said Kalina. “I didn't

ask

to

be born such a freak!” Her voice had turned into a shout. “I

don't know what I am, Stuart, but whatever it is – you'd
better accept it. I can't change it. And you know what? I
wouldn't if I want to. It's not my humanity you'd miss, Stuart,
but yours.”

Tears of anger welled up in her eyes. “I'm going back

to the vineyard.”

So, Jaegar was right all along. Stuart had only wanted

her blood, her humanity, nothing more. His love for her was
only a misplaced love for the life he had once lost. How
could she have been so stupid?

She had never felt more like a vampire than she did

right now.

Chapter 18

“Kalina, stop!” Stuart's voice echoed through the

garden. “I'm sorry, really I am.” She could hear the sounds
of footsteps coming towards her, but she refused to turn
around. She couldn't bear to see his face. “I didn't mean all
of that – really I didn't! I was just angry – frightened.
Freaked out, even. To see you...knowing you'll have to go
through what I went through.”

“Sure,” said Kalina under her breath. She kept walking

straight ahead until at last Stuart caught up with her.

“I didn't mean it.”
“Yes, Stuart,” said Kalina. Her voice was clear and

determined. “Yes, you did. You meant it more than you
realize.”

“What are you talking about?” Stuart's eyes were wild

with pain. He knew how deeply he had hurt her, and how
much too he had given away of his secret fears and desires
– desires he wouldn't admit even to himself. As Kalina
regarded him her anger faded. She rather felt sorry for him.
He wanted so badly to be human, to extricate himself from
the agony of his vampire nature. He had never adjusted to
becoming one – it always seemed that he was ill at ease in
his own skin, as if the transformation of his body had not
merely turned the bones to steel and the blood immortal,
but also changed so substantially the nature of the body that
it was no longer Stuart's at all; his eyes shone out prisoner
from this cage Octavius had put him in.

It was a struggle for Stuart, she knew, and Kalina could

not help but feel compassion for him. How could he not fall
in love with her, she reasoned. For so long she had
represented Stuart's last and best hope – that he might win
her love, and in so doing free himself from the curse that
had afflicted him for so long. Even as now her vampire
nature filled Kalina with a sense of wonder and excitement
– it filled Stuart with memories of what he hated most in the
world: himself.

Kalina looked Stuart straight in the eyes. As she

looked at him, she saw within his eyes the pain of over
seven hundred years of killing – of senseless deaths and
the fight for survival. The guilt of each man and woman he
killed hung heavily upon his soul. He had spent the first part
of his vampiric life unable to control his impulses – crazed
enough to commit murder. After all, vampire wine had not
yet been invented in those days – there had been no other
choice. He had thought about killing himself – she could
see this in his eyes – but he had been unable to do it.

She felt his pain – his whole life story – seep into her,

overwhelming their telepathic connection.

There had been no choice for him. He could not enter

a church – he could not pray to the cross that had meant so
much to him. He could not confess his sins. To commit
suicide was in the Catholic faith a sin – but so was murder
– and for Stuart there had been no escape. To walk in the
sunlight would be to go straight to Hell – or into a soulless
nonexistence – a thought so terrifying even Stuart could not
face it. He had been able to control his impulse to commit

murder, and yet he could not confess his sins, purify himself
for a world that, if it was to come at all, was a source of
even greater terror for him.

“What would you do?” asked Kalina. “If you were

human.”

“The first thing?” Stuart's eyes crinkled around the

edges. “I would enter a church,” he said. “I would go to
confession. I would recite the names and ages and stories
of all those I had wronged, had killed. And I would seek
pardon for each crime. And at last...my soul would be
free...”

Kalina had considered herself a religious person – she

and Justin had both been raised Catholic – but somehow
the sheer force of Stuart's fervor struck her. This was a
religiosity of the Medieval age – a surety in the power of
redemption and the cross that seemed to no longer exist in
the world of Rutherford, California.

“And then what?”
“Perhaps I would spend my life in prison for my crimes

– though no jury would believe me sane enough to convict
me. Perhaps I would marry...” (marry

you

, he did not say),

“bear children, lead a happy life. And then I would receive
the gift of a good death – and a good life – and a clean soul
when I head to the hereafter.”

“Do you still believe in the hereafter?” Kalina asked.
“I do,” said Stuart. “There are things beyond the earth

and the sky – why should there not be a God?”

The sky hung moonless and dark over them.
“If there is a God,” said Kalina, “why doesn't He

interfere to stop vampires? To stop evil?”

Stuart took a few steps further. “Why doesn't He stop

evil humans?” he asked. “Or wars – or plagues – or
famines? Perhaps we vampires are just another blight upon
a fallen world.”

They walked together in silence.
“Sometimes after my parents died,” said Kalina, “I

used to wonder whether God existed – because he had let
two such good people die – on a mission, no less! The
church said they were martyrs, but I still found it hard...all
this that's been going on with vampires makes it even
harder to believe.”

“It makes my faith stronger,” said Stuart. “Knowing how

much more there is to the world than mere humanity.”

“You'd think you guys would have all the answers,” said

Kalina. “Around for so many years – you'd think you'd figure
it all out.”

Octavius had always seemed so wise. Even now her

heart cried out at the thought. Octavius!

“I think we have more time to get muddled,” said

Stuart. “And that's all. But even in the agony of being a
vampire – there are moments that give me hope, in faith. In
my love for my father. In Aaron.”

They fell silent. Aaron's disappearance had weighed

heavily on them both. Together they hoped and prayed that
he was still alive – felt that surely, surely, if he died they
would feel it telepathically, and knew Octavius was
searching for him all over Europe – and yet they had not
spoken of him often since his disappearance. It seemed to

hurt too much. It was easier to shut it out of their minds.

“Do you think Aaron's...you know...”
“I hope so,” said Stuart. “You saw Jaegar, in your

mind's eye, when he was turned. If something similar
happened to Aaron, I feel sure we would know it. Besides,
his nose is too strong to be addled by the madness of
Life’s Blood – and certainly too valuable to be rendered
useless through murder. No doubt Mal is keeping him alive
and well until he can track down all the potential carriers he
can.”

“Do you think others are out there?” asked Kalina.

“Other carriers – my cousins – fourth cousins – sixth
cousins – other members of this line of vampires?”

“I don't know,” said Stuart. “I feel sure there is nobody

else quite like you in the world.” He took her hand. “Whether
it is your blood than makes you so or not.”

“You can't help it,” said Kalina. “You're attracted to the

blood. You all are. Even Octavius found the smell...”

But her voice trailed off. She couldn't stand to think of

Octavius either. Every time his name crossed her lips she
remembered again the beauty and poetry of those few
weeks in Europe, and all else seemed so small to her, so
distant; she could still smell the bougainvillea on the
balcony in Rome – hear the music from the opera house in
Paris....

He had been so strong, so sure. She felt her blood cry

out to him, buoyed by the pain of her memories; suddenly,
her body began shaking, as if the calling of her blood had
attracted an equal and opposite response.

Kalina.

She gasped as she heard the voice. It was that same

soft familiar refrain – the sound of the beloved – that forced
her heart up into her throat and cut off her breath; she could
have swooned at the sound.

Octavius.

Was this a dream – or was it real? She had not

expected to hear from him again after their final encounter
– the way he had vanished after that, leaving nothing but the
necklace behind.

Where are you?

She sent him a mental picture of her surroundings –

the forest outside the outskirts of Rutherford.

I have come to fight Jaegar.

Octavius’ voice was slow and sure inside her head. He

had never sounded more like a true warrior – sure and
strong – than right now.

I cannot let you fight – nor can I send Stuart to his

certain death. It would not be chivalrous. I am the
strongest of you; I am the strongest vampire left alive on
your side. I will fight – and I will win. I will kill Jaegar –
though it pains me to do so – for nothing would pain me
more than to lose you.

He did not allow his tone to vary, but she could

nevertheless sense his love throbbing through his words.
She felt shaken to the core. She had not expected to hear
from him, and yet his presence flooded her brain, until she
could not even see Stuart standing before her.

“What is it?” Stuart was asking, but he seemed to her

to be oceans away.

You can't fight Jaegar....
I must. For you. He has been sending me telepathic

challenges for days – I thought I could find Aaron first,
have my men hold him off, but it is too late...I have come
to fight him. He wants to eliminate me – to become the
most powerful vampire in the Consortium. To have you. I
will not allow him to do so...

Not alone.

Kalina could picture him, walking slowly

through the vineyards of Greystone Winery, approaching
the big stone house where Jaegar was waiting for him.

I'm coming with you.
No, Kalina, you can't...

But she severed the telepathic link. She knew that

nothing he could say or do would stop her. They belonged
together, and now that she knew where he was, and that he
was in danger, nothing would separate them.

And she could not let Jaegar kill Octavius. But she also

could not let Octavius kill Jaegar. Not yet – not when there
was still hope.

“Octavius messaged me,” she said to Stuart. “He's

going to the winery. Jaegar has challenged him – he's gone
to face him down: a battle to the death. We have to hurry –
quickly! Before one or both of them is dead.”

She grabbed his hand. “Let's go,” she said.
“As you wish.” Stuart wrapped his arms around her

and began launching into flight once more, as they sped

back to the Winery – once more into the arms of danger.

Chapter 19

He was there when they arrived. Kalina's heart leaped

instantly. She had heard Octavius' voice in her head,
imagined his chiseled face and strong body so often in her
fantasies that he had seemed real to her, but nothing was
more intense than seeing him in the flesh. Her heart began
to quicken in her chest, beating so loudly that she knew the
other vampires would be able to hear it; her face was
covered in a blush spreading out like a blooming rose from
her lips. He looked like he always did – so handsome, so
full of life and passion; that her breath caught in her throat.
He was standing at one end of the vast living room; Jaegar
stood before him, poised and ready to strike. But as Kalina
entered, and Octavius turned to look at her, time seemed to
slow to a halt, so that Kalina could spend hours meditating
upon every aspect of his incredible beauty in the timeframe
of a heartbeat. He was dressed impeccably – she smiled
to herself as she thought of Octavius’ vanity; if this was to
be his last day alive, he would at least go out in style. He
wore black leather pants under a charcoal-colored dress-
shirt; his jet-black hair had been pulled back off his face,
showing his chiseled cheekbones. The light refracted off
his silver stud earring, sending a glare into Kalina's eye.

She remembered how she had played with the earring

in Rome – impishly nipping at it to distract him. He had
been so beautiful then – he seemed even more beautiful

now. As he turned to look at her, Kalina could see a brief
flicker of love evident on his face – flitting across his stern
expression for just a moment: time enough to give her
hope. He loved her – she knew he loved her – and the
surety of that fact obliterated all else. How she had missed
him! Even now, the slow cool breeze carried his scent to
her, intoxicating her. She wanted nothing more than to rush
into his arms, to climb into his lap. She felt the very essence
of her blood calling out to him, burning with a dark fire. She
remembered his protestations – his portrayal of the
impossibility of their love.

“Jaegar,” Octavius was saying slowly. “You will not

harm Kalina. As your maker – I command you.”

Jaegar let out a high, cold laugh. “As my maker!” he

shouted. “As my maker! Oh, you should know – you of all
vampires, Octavius, should know how much your role as my

maker

means to me! I want to hurt her for your sake – to

spite you! To drink her for your sake. I can feel your blood
calling out to her – your blood in my veins. I can feel your
desire for her within me; I feel that same desire, Octavius!
And if you think I'm just going to let you

have

her, stand by

and let you take that delicious nectar from me – well,
Octavius, maker or not, you are mistaken!”

“You fool,” Octavius said, his voice dripping with

contempt even as it concealed a raw layer of pain at the
loss of his progeny. You can control this – if you could only
find the strength in yourself! When I was your age, my
powers had matured enough to allow me to control my
emotions, my vampire lust! Your brother has managed to

exercise such self-control – a strength you clearly do not
understand! You laugh because he cannot fight like you can
– but in his restraint he has proven himself a stronger
vampire than you will ever be. His control is what makes
him powerful, Jaegar; not this savage monster that reigns in
you! The most powerful of vampires know how to control
themselves.”

“Oh, well that's just unfair!” Jaegar gave a mocking

smile as his voice was rich with irony. “Comparing me to

Stuart!

Bookish, shy, serene, weakling little Stuart!”

“And why shouldn't I?” Octavius smiled back, giving

Jaegar a taste of his chilling calm. “He's been a vampire as
long as you have, Jaegar. And yet his actions prove him to
be far stronger than you. His treatment of Kalina only
affirms that in my mind. Strong vampire men always treat
women with the utmost respect, especially their chosen
eternal love. Perhaps I chose the wrong heir – those many
centuries ago. Perhaps I should have considered him my
true successor.”

“How dare you!” shouted Jaegar. “Do you not see my

strength?”

Octavius swiftly shifted tactics. “Remember, Jaegar,”

he said slowly. “You were not entirely out of consideration –
you have not lost this battle yet, though you swiftly will if you
keep up this madness.”

“What are you talking about?” Jaegar scoffed.
“Kalina had not decided – had she? Which brother she

would choose.” Kalina could see Octavius wince as he
spoke – he had not entirely mastered his jealousy. “She still

spoke – he had not entirely mastered his jealousy. “She still
had hope for you – that you might become good after all.
That was why she came back – because she sensed,
perhaps, some inkling of a heart in you, some glimpse of
humanity that is lost to the rest of us.”

Jaegar looked up, awestruck, at Kalina. “That just

means I'll have to convince her harder!” said Jaegar,
grinning and showing off his row of sharp teeth. “Maybe
killing you will do the trick – convince her she's lost me for
good!”

With that he leaped towards Octavius, his fangs

poised to sink deep into his maker's flesh.

“No,” Kalina tried to cry, but the noise caught in her

throat. Stuart placed a warning hand on her shoulder.

“Do not interfere,” he said softly. “Not yet – you may yet

do more harm than good if you get between two vampires
as intent on death as they.”

Though Octavius had far more experience than Jaegar

– thousands of years that rendered to him infinitely more
vampire strength, Jaegar was alive with Life’s Blood,
intoxicated by its qualities – at once stronger and more full
of confidence, of bravado and swagger. He laughed in the
face of Octavius’ careful feints – rushing at him with pure
liquid adrenaline shining in his eyes. He took risks – he left
himself uncovered – breaking all the rules of vampire
fighting even as the power of the blood allowed him to
escape from Octavius’ learned technique unscathed.

“You've grown strong, my boy,” said Octavius, his voice

thick with disappointment. “It is a pity that it was this terrible
blood that gave you such strength!”

blood that gave you such strength!”

“Don't you dare lecture me,

master

!” Jaegar shouted.

“It is I who am the strongest one now! You will call

me

master now!”

And then they were locked in combat again, in a brutal

symbiosis that seemed to Kalina to have no beginning and
no end – only blood, brutality, death. First Jaegar threw
Octavius against a table, shattering it in two. Then Octavius
responded quickly, brandishing the broken table legs as
stakes, stabbing Jaegar in the shoulder – just enough to
draw a torrent of black blood out of the wound. They were
relatively evenly matched; they knew each other's moves –
each other's ways – Octavius’ precise technique matched
by Jaegar's brute and primal strength.

Kalina held her breath. The idea of Octavius dying was

unthinkable to her, yet how could she bear to see Jaegar
killed, now that she suspected there was some good in
him, the possibility of redemption.

“Stop,” she whispered, “Both of you, please stop.” But

her words had no meaning, so locked were they in the
ferocity of their combat. Stuart brandished his stake and
motioned for Kalina to get behind him – waiting, if
necessary, to begin the fight anew. It was a fight Kalina
never wanted to begin.

The fight continued on for some time. There were

moments when it seemed, with a thickening dread in
Kalina's heart, that Jaegar had won, but Octavius was able
to use his centuries of training and find an acrobatic way
out of Jaegar's death-grip. There were instances where it

seemed Octavius’ fists were closed tightly about Jaegar's
neck, but then he too would break free. Then at last, with
horrible certainty, Kalina saw Jaegar throw Octavius to the
ground and stand over him, his fangs poised for the final
encounter, and she knew then that the battle had been won.

“No!” she cried out, and her voice mingled with Stuart's

own cry of despair.

She rushed forward, brandishing her stake, forcing her

body against Jaegar's, trying to harness that power she
had used before at the Wineries.

It worked. A blinding flash lit the room, and Jaegar was

thrown back against the wall, shaking the very foundation of
the house.

“Kalina...” Octavius looked up at her, his eyes full of

love and gratitude.

“Blood against blood,” Kalina muttered, her eyes fixed

on Jaegar. “Now it's me you'll have to listen to.” But before
she could take another step, she heard a familiar laugh
from the doorway.

“Brother!”
It was Aaron – but not Aaron as she remembered him;

impish and kind, silly but well-meaning. This was an older
Aaron – more subdued. He was free – for a moment,
Kalina felt the glorious sensation of hope – but then she
saw Mal beside him. Aaron sauntered into the house.

The room went quiet. She knew the other vampires –

even Jaegar – were all thinking what she was thinking. Had
he been turned, like Jaegar, after all? Was this the real
Aaron? She could hear Stuart's mental agony pounding in

her ears from across the room.

“Come in,” Aaron said lightly to Mal, and the levity of

the invitation was terrible. As he came closer, Kalina could
see his eyes red with malice – this wasn't Aaron at all! His
cherubic sweetness had been turned sour by evil; this was
less Aaron than Jaegar was Jaegar, so completely did he
seem to be consumed by the Life’s Blood.

A note of pain struck Kalina's heart. After all this – was

this the end? She had mourned Aaron before, thought him
dead before, but to lose him a second time seemed
unthinkable to her. They had shared so much - he had
helped her through her grief when her parents died, shared
the sweetness of high school life with her in a way none of
the other vampires could fathom – and now he had become
a monster. She shuddered.

“Aaron,” she whispered, but she knew it was too late.

Chapter 20

“Well then, Kal,” said Aaron. His voice was steely and

emotionless. “Looks like we decided to pay you a visit.” He
scanned the room. “And you” he turned to Jaegar “and you”
- he turned to Stuart - “Still going after my girl when I'm not
around. Tut tut – bad form!”

Even in this new transformation, he still retained the dry

sense of humor. But gone was the jovial innocence of the
old Aaron; this was only a monster with the same face.

Octavius was standing beside her now, brandishing a

stake in each hand, set to defend Kalina with his life if
necessary. It was time to mentally force herself into defense
mode. She had known fighting Jaegar would be difficult –
hopped up as he was on Life’s Blood – but fighting Mal too
would be impossible, especially if Aaron as well had
ingested the blood. The even match had just been turned
on its head.

“Aaron,” Stuart's voice cracked with pain. “You don't

want to hurt Kalina. You don't want to hurt your brothers –
your maker.” He stepped forward, trying with all his strength
to reason with Aaron, to find his little brother in those cold,
red eyes. “You're our family, Aaron. You're our little brother.
Please. Remember the oath you made us swear, Aaron -to
protect Kalina from harm? You swore it too – we all swore
to it. Even Jaegar. Vampire's oath. The oath of the
Greystone Brothers. The highest oath we could ever swear

or think of swearing. Remember that. Even Jaegar
remembers that.”

“Do I?” Jaegar shot them a cold grin, but Kalina could

see the wariness in his eyes. Seeing Aaron so afflicted had
gotten under his skin, bringing out a note of humanity in his
eyes Kalina hadn't seen since before the Life’s Blood.

“Here we are!” Mal's voice sent waves of trauma

through Kalina as she remembered the last time she had
heard it – when she was being tortured in that dungeon
beneath the Seine. “All the brothers here at last. And two of
them on my side.”

“By force, not choice!” Stuart called out, his bravery

clear on his face.

“That just leaves you.” Mal turned his gaze upon Stuart.
“How could you?” Kalina's voice shook. “He's just a

boy!”

“I didn't.” Mal grinned. “I didn't need to force him. He

drank that blood of his own free will. Once he got a nice
whiff...he just down it. I didn't expect it – I wanted to keep his
nose pure. But now that he's done it...”

“Aaron...” Kalina's throat had gone dry.
“He wanted to be big and strong. Like his brothers.

Stronger than his brothers. He didn't want to kowtow to
Octavius – to let Octavius dictate who got the girl. Looks
like he never forgave you for chaining him up, Octavius! I
guess loyalty only goes so far.”

“He was never in my steps!” said Octavius gravely. “He

was never one of my soldiers. He was free – with the
exception of that one mission – to do as he wished. I turned

him only at his mother's request – I would never have done
it otherwise. He was too young, too immature, to be made
a vampire. I regret my decision to grant Marilee that favor.”

“Or you regret the competition.” Jaegar turned his gaze

on Kalina; his face was filled with desire.

Kalina became acutely aware of all four vampires

staring at her – their faces hot with desire for her…and
longing. The sensation of her blood had become
overwhelming; she felt, for the first time, like a particularly
tender piece of meat – and for the first time was even
afraid of Stuart and Octavius.

“Really!” Only Mal had remained free of this desire.

“I've never seen a room of vampires so entranced by a
woman!” He laughed. “Okay, maybe I have. There have
been other Carriers, after all! And my Tess… Luckily I've
drunk enough of them to get used to the smell. But the little
bitches always go for the strongest. Natural selection, right?
So – Kalina – which one of these brooding, handsome men
makes you want to –

ahem –

reproduce

?

”

“How dare you!” Kalina shot back.
“Aaron wants to be the strongest, doesn't he? Does he

make a good impression now?”

Kalina could have rolled her eyes! How stupid of Aaron

– how indicative of his immaturity – that he would be the
one to willingly succumb to the blood. She could sense that
there was no hope for him now. Jaegar still retained his true
nature, raging against the Life’s Blood, because it had
been unwillingly inflicted upon him. But Aaron – that was
different. He had welcomed it willingly. And so the Blood

had overtaken him completely. “How could you, Aaron?”
she said.

Aaron stood strong before her. “So I could be strong

enough...to do this!” In a flash he had turned on Mal,
punching straight though his chest.

Kalina's lips contorted in a grim smile. The upside of

vampires going crazy, she supposed, was that they were
willing to compete with each other. So, that was their
weakness – at least she, Octavius, and Stuart made a
united front.

But her smile vanished as Mal wrested himself away

from Aaron. His wound began healing up instantly. “Really,”
Mal said. “Trying to turn on a vampire centuries older than
you are! How stupid of you...”

“No!” Stuart shouted, but there was no hope. The terror

in Aaron's eyes made it clear what Mal was about to do. In
a few agile steps Mal had gone over to Aaron, and took
him firmly by the shoulders.

“How dare you defy me!” he growled. “Stupid boy...”
“Kalina!” Aaron was shouting – gasping - “Don’t be

mad at me. I wanted to get stronger to fight Mal for you. I'll
always, I'll always love...”

But Mal had already twisted his head, and with a loud

crunch the bones broke, just as Mal thrust a stake into
Aaron's heart.

Kalina’s mouth opened in shock. It happened so

quickly, she could not believe it. She had seen a staking
before, but none seemed as gruesome as Aaron's, as he
aged rapidly – into the middle-aged, the old, the aged man

he had never had a chance to be, until at last he was a
desiccated corpse before them, a corpse that split apart
almost instantly into ashes.

He was dead.
The room echoed with silence.
“No!” Stuart cried at last, rushing into the ashes,

picking them up and letting them run through his fingers.
“No!”

Kalina felt the pain as well – rocking through her,

coursing over her. She tried to tell herself that Aaron was
already gone, but it was no use. She felt tears come over
her again, even as she blinked them away.

“Well, that makes your choice easier,” said Mal.
“No!” Octavius roared, as he rushed towards Mal.

“No!” His fury had boiled over now – and now he was at
Mal's throat, forcing him against the wall, towards the stone
fireplace. For a moment, it looked as if Mal was cornered,
and Kalina held her breath – her eyes squeezed shut,
praying.

But in a flash, Mal's hand had inched for the fireplace

poker, and no sooner did Octavius begin pressing his
stake into Mal's flesh than Mal picked up the poker and ran
it straight through Octavius.

For a moment Kalina's heart stopped and her world

went black.

But the poker was steel, not wood, and Octavius thrust

the poker from his body, his anger only further roused. But
the blow had weakened him, and no sooner did he take a
step than he collapsed at Mal's feet. Mal laughed, his red

eyes narrowing as he prepared to take the final blow!

“No!” Kalina rushed between them, focusing all her

strength as she thrust Mal off Octavius, shielding her lover's
body with her own.

And then another body was there, guarding her, and as

Kalina looked up the sight took her breath away. Jaegar
was standing over her, protecting her from Mal's wrath, his
stony face once more alive with light and courage, even as
the pain of his brother's death was splayed out all over his
face.

“What?” Mal looked briefly confused – only for an

instant, but it was enough. Stuart had rushed towards him,
thrusting his stake deep into Mal's back, piercing his heart.

“That's for my brother, you bastard!” he shouted.
Mal staggered backwards, falling against the fireplace.

He pulled the stake out of his heart, letting it fall to the floor.
Blood poured from the wound in bilious black barrages, but
he did not turn to dust.

“How many times do you think I've been staked, eh?”

he said. “I’ve had Life’s Blood in me for centuries. Not like
weak Aaron, who only had it for an hour. And you – Jaegar
– what are you doing...fool...” Blood dribbled from the
corners of his mouth.

Stuart backed away slowly. Octavius had already

healed from the poker, and was standing next to him, his
body tensed and poised for battle.

Mal leaped at Kalina, grabbing hold of her wrists. She

screamed instinctively, trying to summon the strength she
had used twice before with Jaegar. But Jaegar had leaped

forward, separating the two of them, and thrust Kalina
towards Stuart.

“Get her out of here!” he shouted. In his hand was an

antique sword – one Kalina had seen hanging upon the wall
above the fireplace many times before, but had never seen
used. Until now.

“Jaegar...” It was the Jaegar she knew and loved, free

of the Life’s Blood. Her joy overpowered her.

“Go!” he shouted, as he brought the sword down upon

Mal, slicing him cleanly through the torso until only a few
shriveled ligaments held the body together.

“No!” hissed Mal, and before Kalina could scream she

saw a stake pointing through Jaegar's back, thrust through
his heart.

Jaegar moaned in agony – it must have just missed

the heart – and Mal withdrew the stake, ready to strike
again.

In an instant Kalina was between them, the stake

caught in her hands mid-thrust. The three of them gasped in
collective astonishment. Only a vampire could move that
fast.

“So, it's true,” muttered Mal. “The Carrier has truly

inherited the vampire's strength. At last. What a delicacy
you must be...”

Before Kalina knew what had happened, her world

was going white and dark at the same time. Mal's teeth
were fast in her neck, biting down, until nothing made sense
and she saw stars above her vision.

Stuart and Octavius had grabbed Mal, then, and had

pushed him across the room, but not before Kalina caught
sight of her own blood streaming across the floor, pouring
from a severed artery in her neck.

She made a small sound, but collapsed back against

Octavius. “Drink!” he shouted, tearing into his own flesh with
astounding ferocity. “Drink!”

The blood nourished her, and within moments her

strength had returned to her, as Stuart began binding Mal
with silver chains.

“Hurry – they won't hold him long...” Stuart was

shouting.

Kalina sat up. “Where's Jaegar? Is he okay?” She

caught sight of a crumpled mass on the floor. “Jaegar!”

She rushed to him, reopening the wound Mal had just

left.

“Kalina, are you sure?” Octavius stared at her.
“I know what I'm doing. He's broken through – it won't

hurt him.”

She held him fast to her neck; as if in a haze, Jaegar

began lapping at her blood, sucking it at first slowly and
then more and more rapidly. Suddenly he stopped and
pushed her away, violently.

“What's happening?”
He crawled across the floor, violently gagging. His

whole body seemed to be changing. His face gained color;
his eyes grew duller. For a moment Kalina was seized with
terror. Had she misjudged the whole thing? Had she turned
him once again?

But then he looked up.

And Kalina knew instantly that she was looking into the

eyes of a human. Gone were his fangs – it was evident
from his smile. Gone was his bloodlust. In its place was a
look of pure love. She wasn't sure what it was yet – a love
so strong it defied categorization. She had believed in him.
Trusted him. Cared for him. And whatever it was – it was
enough to save him.

Stuart was torn between joy and despair: joy for his

brother, rage and envy that his brother was achieving the
dream that he, Stuart, had always wanted. He was shaking.

“Kalina!” Jaegar rushed to Kalina, enveloping her in a

hug, his eyes full of unshed tears.

“Get out of here!” Stuart was saying. “Those chains

won't hold Mal much longer...” Mal was already struggling
against the masses of silver. “Hurry!”

“Go!” Octavius too displayed his jealousy clear on his

face, but he wasn't about to let it stop him from doing his
duty.

“I can't leave you!”
“You can't leave

him!”

Stuart said. “He's human now –

he's in danger here! You must protect him!”

Jaegar was looking about him, his eyes filled with the

glorious vision of a world seen anew through human eyes –
his expression dazed.

“I won't lose another brother,” Stuart said. “It's time for

me to reach my full potential...” his words were fraught with
meaning. “As a vampire. I must allow myself to be strong.”

“Don't let him kill you!” Kalina begged. “Flee, first, both

of you!”

Stuart pressed her hand briefly to his lips, and then

pushed her towards the door. “Leave, quickly.”

“I love you, too!” she protested, and even now she

wasn't sure whether she was talking to Stuart or Octavius,
or to both of them at the same time.

As Kalina and Jaegar exited the house, they heard the

sound of Mal at last breaking free of his chains, and of
Octavius and Stuart, fighting on...

They rushed together in the night – their hearts

pounding, for the first time, together. Kalina could feel his
wrist, his heart beating in time with hers – their breath
panting together – their pulse alive for the first time with
excitement, and joy.

And fear.

Epilogue

Time had glided by with silver wings. In the days that

had passed between now and the time they had fled the
Greystone Winery, Kalina felt that she were somehow
participating in the discovery of a new life – Jaegar's. The
transformation that had happened on the Winery floors had
changed Jaegar entirely – more than Kalina could ever
have imagined. He had not merely lost his fangs and pallor,
but somehow his soul had seemed to change as well; it had
flown straight back into his body, lighting up his face with a
smile so radiant Kalina felt that it would blind her.

There had been some guilt, of course, in the

beginning. Jaegar had thought back upon his actions, done
during his crazed period under the influence of Life’s Blood,
and he had come to her on the first morning with the air of a
penitent – trying to explain what had happened, trying to
rationalize it even to himself. She knew that even now he
could not quite look her straight on in the eye – he had
promised he would spend his life making it up to her.

A lifetime, Kalina had thought. A promise that meant

eternity for a vampire. Did it mean more or less now, that
his life was constrained by human measures?

They caught up with Justin and Maeve outside of Los

Angeles. It had taken a not inconsiderable amount of
explanation

–

including

assuaging

Maeve's

very

pronounced fears and talking a shocked Justin out of a
catatonic state – but Kalina had managed to bring them up

to speed, even as she proved to them the full extent of
Jaegar's cure. They walked together in the sunlight –
Jaegar bathing in the ecstasy of the rays upon his slowly
reddening flesh – and Jaegar tore in deliriously into his first
pizza – ever.

“Bet these weren't around when you were turned,” said

Kalina, laughing.

“I've missed out on so much!” he exclaimed. But he still

did not meet her eye.

They spent their days in Los Angeles on the beach,

soaking up early summer. It was what Jaegar had most
wanted to do – on the one hand, it meant more time in the
sun for him, while on the other, he noticed that Maeve and
Justin seemed more comfortable around him in the day,
when they could be sure he was cured of his vampiric
affliction.

But all was not sunny in Kalina's mind. Worry about

Stuart and Octavius, who had not turned up since their
flight, still clouded her mind. Neither had tried to contact her
telepathically – yet she felt sure they could not be dead.
She had felt an acute psychic pang when Aaron had been
staked in front of her; she knew she would feel something
similar, if not worse, were anything to happen to Octavius or
Stuart. And yet why hadn't they contacted her?

Romantic issues, too, troubled Kalina's mind. What did

it mean, she wondered, to have turned Jaegar human? It
was the prophecy, wasn't it? That Jaegar was her true love
– only true love could turn a vampire human. And yet she
wasn't entirely sure what it was she felt for him. She cared

for him, certainly, and was attracted to him – although out of
caution they had done nothing more than kiss chastely on
the cheek and hold hands since their escape – but no
amount of Life’s Blood could make Kalina forget Octavius
and the feelings she still had for him – so strong they
overwhelmed her even now. If she had turned Jaegar
human, why did her heart and mind, her very soul still call
out to Octavius? And if she loved Octavius so much – would
she be able to turn him, too? Was she really in love with
Octavius then? Or did she imagined herself to be? She
obviously loved Jaegar, but since becoming human and
without his vampire ability to attract, that attraction of
wanting to tear his clothes off as soon as he was near her,
was not as strong. Was she only in love with him if he was a
vampire?”

Her thoughts ran often to Stuart. She thought he loved

her only because of her Life’s Blood, but he loved her more
for her humanity. They had shared so much together, the
fear of evil Jaegar coming after Kalina, the night of the
Prom, and how Stuart had finally acted on his passion for
her, leaving her wanting to experience more of this side of
him...

She sighed and turned to Jaegar. They sat together on

the beach, stretched out in the open air. Jaegar relished the
sensation of the sun – not the weak and painful blistering of
being outside under the influence of the ring – almost as
much as he relished eating human food. Maeve and Justin
had gone out on the third sandwich run of the day, mostly
for Jaegar's benefit.

“I don't have automatic muscle regeneration now,”

Jaegar laughed. “I'll get fat!”

But his muscles were as tight as ever – if they had lost

their superhuman sheen. He had his shirt off, and she could
see his rippling abs against his perfect chest. He was still
gorgeous beyond any human she knew. He looked up,
seeing Kalina’s gaze on him. He moved closer, enveloped
her with his arms, and pulled her to his chest, where he
stroked her hair and cheeks, his fingers warm against her
skin. He kissed the top of her head. “Turning human hasn’t
diminished my love for you at all. In fact, I love you more
than ever, Kalina. I see you for the beautiful, strong and…”
he growled, “outright sexy woman that you are.” He kissed
her on her lips, “How did I get so lucky to have you choose
me?”

His fingers entwined with hers as he murmured into her

hair sweet words of love and held her tightly. She smiled,
so happy the old Jaegar she loved was back. The ocean
lapped at the sand and they both gazed out at the horizon.
Jaegar leaned in to kiss Kalina…

Suddenly, a dark shadow flitted across the sand – so

quickly that a blink of an eye erased the image. Kalina
sprang up, immediately – her vampire instinct taking over.
She sniffed the air, conscious of the subtle hint of blood –
vampire blood.

She felt a hunting instinct rise up from within her – the

desire to chase this unknown shadow – and before she
knew it she was running at superhuman speed, faster than
the human eye could catch, across the beach.

And then she realized that Jaegar was running too.
They both stopped short in surprise.
“What – what was that?” Kalina shuddered.
“I...don't know.” Jaegar looked down. He had turned

human – he wasn't supposed to have any vampire abilities.
“I thought I lost all my abilities.”

“I don't know either.” Kalina hid her gaze. “I mean – it

sort of worked...right? You don't have cravings anymore, do
you?”

“No!” cried Jaegar indignantly. “Of course not! Only...”
“Only what?”
“It didn't work. Fully. The Life’s Blood didn't work fully.”

Which means you didn’t love me enough, either.

Kalina could still hear his thoughts – or thought she

could.

“Look, Jaegar, you know how I feel...I care about...”
“

All of us

, yes,” said Jaegar, his face torn. “I know. You

care about us all.”

“Even Aaron.”
“Right.” Jaegar turned away.
Their conversation was interrupted by that same

vampire smell – the return of the shadow. It slowed to a
walking pace and then Kalina could make out the face with
a leap of her heart: Octavius!

He looked battle-worn, but even in his weariness he

was beautiful; his exhaustion had not stopped him from
dressing, as ever, with impeccable style. Kalina felt her
blood once more calling out to him, turning her cheeks hot
with embarrassment. She went to him, embracing him

lightly – but didn't dare to do more in front of Jaegar.

“What news?” said Jaegar, a little too curtly.
“Thank God you're alright,” said Kalina. “I was so

worried...”

“I'm afraid I have some bad news.” Octavius gave a

stiff cough.

“Stuart!” Jaegar and Kalina cried in unison.
“Mal...is stronger that we'd hoped,” said Octavius. “We

fought in that house for two days and two nights – every
time we thought we'd subdued him, he broke free of his
silver. We took turns standing guard over him in the last –
but he got to Stuart when he was most weary. He wanted to
spite Stuart – to spite me and what I stand for, what Stuart
stood for – the Consortium and peace. He...he force-fed
Stuart some of the Life’s Blood.”

“What?” The color had drained from Kalina's face.
“His control over Stuart – it is final.”
Jaegar's earlier anger had vanished, replaced with

pain. “I remember turning,” Jaegar said slowly. “It was the
most horrible feeling in the world. It twists your mind.
Whatever – whomever you love becomes your enemy. You
cannot even reason with yourself – reason stops existing.”

“It will be worse for Stuart,” said Octavius. “He has

always denied himself – as a vampire – to an unhealthy
extent. He has not fed his bloodlust properly in centuries.
And all that rage – pent up inside him for so long – like a
coiled spring...”

Kalina remembered what Stuart had told her, once.

That his goodness only made him ten times as dark as

Jaegar – in the innermost chambers of his subconscious.
That it made him all the more dangerous. She hadn't
understood what he meant then. She was understanding
better now.

“You saw what he was like when he saw Jaegar made

human,” said Octavius. “He was devastated. All that anger,
all that pain – I fear for what will happen now that it will be
unleashed.” He turned to Kalina. “You are not safe. You
have vampire strength – but without Aaron and Stuart – and
with Jaegar weakened, only I can guard you...”

“Jaegar – he still has his powers!” Kalina blurted out.
“What?” Octavius furrowed his brows.
“He's turned – but his powers remain.”
“Are you sure?”
She nodded mutely. “I guess it didn't work all the way –

or something.”

A note of hope in Octavius’ eyes vanished quickly as

he focused on more pressing matters. He gave a hollow
laugh. “How incredible,” he said softly. “You are
extraordinary – whatever you are. But even so – we must
get you out of the country, immediately.”

Out of the country

. To Europe – Europe! With

Octavius – to freedom, to safety, to the man she loved.

For a while. Until Mal found them – or Stuart – until

things started to go wrong, until Maeve and Justin were
once more in danger. Kalina sighed. It was impossible.

“No,” said Kalina. “No.” It was now or never. “I'm tired

of running. Of being protected. I want to go back to
Rutherford. I want to finish school, and go to Yale in the fall. I

want to protect Justin and Maeve – and protect you.
Whatever's back there – whoever's back there – Stuart, Mal
- I'll face them.” She took a deep breath, sadden by the
thought, especially remembering how Stuart had stood by
her, protected her, and faced Jaegar knowing how it would
be his sure death, just so Kalina could live another day.
Stuart had turned, and she remembered how he once said
he would rather stake himself, die, than turn into a monster
like Mal. The Greystone Brothers had given so much for
her, Aaron… his life, now Stuart. Stuart had told her turning
was far worse than death. Her heart ached for him, yet she
knew Stuart would be affected worse than Jaegar. She had
to do something. She was the Carrier, and with that, came
powers…powers she was just beginning to realize. Kalina
looked straight ahead. She knew what she had to do. “I
have to find Stuart.”

********

PULSE continues in

Blue Blood - Book 4 of PULSE

Blue Blood

(Book 4 of PULSE)

Coming

March 8, 2011

Join us for the virtual release party on

March 8, 2011 at:

http://www.kailingow.wordpress.com

Excerpt from

the phantom diaries

kailingow

Prologue

Annette Binoche stepped out of the cab and had her

first taste of a Manhattan sidewalk beneath her feet. Staring
up at The New York Metropolitan Opera House, a cool
breeze rustled through her long dark hair and tickled her
nostrils. This was not the hot and lazy breeze of the bayou
back home in New Orleans. It felt different. Smelled
different. Even tasted different.

Despite her jeans, warm black sweater and leather

jacket the chill in the air squeezed through the collar at the
back of her neck, traveled down her spine and left her skin
tingling all the way down into her boots.

The excitement of this new adventure added to that

tingling sensation. She pushed through the doors of the
back entrance of the Opera House and went in search of
the head seamstress. As soon as her eyes adjusted to the
gloom, she glimpse the grand stage through a door left
ajar.

Her desire to find the seamstress was overtaken with

the need to view the splendid stage she’d long dreamed of.
The silly childhood fantasy of singing to a full house had her
heart pumping with envy. It was majestic and unending.
The ceiling seemed to go on forever and she couldn’t even
see to the back seat of the top balconies.

“Can I help you?”
With a start she turned to the unexpected voice and

faced a small elderly gentleman who smiled politely.

“I’m looking for Mrs. Henley. She came down to

Louisiana a while back to visit with my mom and liked my
abilities as a seamstress and suggested I come up here to
work for her.”

The old man’s smile broadened and Annette realized

she was rambling, but just couldn’t stop. “I may be only
eighteen, but I’ve worked at my mother’s dress shop since I
was thirteen and my mother has been a great teacher and
even though I lack formal training, I know I can do this…”

“Right through there,” he said as he pointed to his left.

“Up the stairs, second floor, third door on your right. She
should just be getting back from her lunch.”

With a tight and nervous nod, she turned on her heel,

repeating his directions in her mind over and over again.

Her heels echoed up the steps and the cool chill at her

back followed her. She turned to glance behind her and
could have sworn her breath frosted in the air. The echo of
her steps reverberated in an odd cadence that didn’t quite
match the pace of her steps.

Though her body shivered, her hands were clammy

and heated. Her fingers reached for the cross hung at her
neck. Her index played repeatedly over the rubies that
formed a rose pattern at the center of the cross. Her
breathing soon returned to normal and she proceeded
while remaining cautious and aware of the sensations
around her.

“Mrs. Henley?” Annette asked upon reaching the

correct door.

A pleasantly plump woman turned and grinned. “Miss

Binoche? Is that you?”

Annette realized her frumpy seamstress clothes back

home were a far stretch from her fashionable, meant to
impress New York attire. She’d gone out of her way to
assure her clothes didn’t make her stick out like a tourist.

“Don’t really understand why a pretty girl like you wants

to come and stick your fingers with pins and needles, but
I’m sure happy to have you.”

“I’m happy to see you again, Mrs. Henley, and I look

forward to doing my best work for you.” Annette gave her a
warm hug and kissed her cheek. “Mother says hello and
wants to thank you once again for being so gracious as to
allow me this opportunity. You have no idea what this
means to me.”

Mrs. Henley waved the compliments and pleasant

words aside. “Nonsense, I need a good hard working girl
that has the imagination as well as the work ethic you have.
I have one girl who left to get married and three who
dumped me once the school year resumed.”

Annette smiled and nodded, pleased to be given such

praise and responsibility.

“You’re not going to go off and get married, are you?”
“Heaven’s no.”
“And you’re not going on to college, right?”
At this, Annette hesitated. She had once dreamed of

attending a performance art school. Finances had not really
allowed such a dream for now, but this was no doubt a step
in the right direction. “Not for quite a while, if at all.”

“You know with all that pretty dark hair and soft

innocent eyes, New York will eat you up. Just let me know if
any of the young men here give you a hard time. Oh, and
watch out for Marie, our house diva. She can get a little
testy when she’s not the prettiest thing in a room.”