She’severythinghewantsforChristmas…

SocialworkerAllisonBarrington’shomewentupinsmoke,literally,amonthbeforeChristmas.Nowtheguardianofherteenagesisteranda

crazypup,sheshowsuponthedoorstepoftheonlymaninthecityshecantrust.ResistingEthanDanehadneverbeeneasy,butluckily,Allie

isn’tintocutthroatplayboybusinessmen.AndEthanisasdrivenastheycome.

EthanDanehaswantedAlliesincethemomenthelaideyesonherattheirbestfriends’wedding.Havingherinhishomeistheperfect

chance to prove to her that their chemistry can’t be denied, but when he finds out that the biggest business coup of his career means

destroyingtheyouthcenterwhereAllieworks,Ethanisforcedtodecidewhatkindofmanhewantstobe…

Thisbookisaworkoffiction.Names,characters,places,andincidentsaretheproductoftheauthor’s

imaginationorareusedfictitiously.Anyresemblancetoactualevents,locales,orpersons,livingordead,

iscoincidental.

transmitinanyformorbyanymeans.Forinformationregardingsubsidiaryrights,pleasecontactthe

Publisher.

EntangledPublishing,LLC

2614SouthTimberlineRoad

Suite109

FortCollins,CO80525

Visitourwebsiteat

www.entangledpublishing.com

IndulgenceisanimprintofEntangledPublishing,LLC.

EditedbyAletheaSpiridonHopson

CoverdesignbyHeatherHowland

CoverartfromiStock

ISBN978-1-63375-510-9

ManufacturedintheUnitedStatesofAmerica

FirstEditionDecember2015

Tomyreaders,

Withoutallofyou,thisbookwouldn’tbepossible.BecauseofyoursupportIwasgiventheopportunity

towritethisfollow-uptomyveryfirstbook,TheBillionaire’sChristmasBaby.Boththesebooksholda

veryspecialplaceinmyheartandIhopeTheBillionaire’sChristmasProposalwillfillyourheartwith

allthemagicoftheseason.

Wishingyouandyourstheverybestholidayseason.

Victoria

ChapterOne

twastheworstdayofherlife.

Okay,somaybenottheworst.Maybethesecond-worstday…no…well,itwasdefinitelytheworst

daythismonth.AllisonBarringtonsquintedatwhatremainedofherapartmentbuilding,hereyesburning

fromthesmoke.Theorangeblazeofthefirehadmostlydieddowntoaneeriegraysmoke.Itwasstill

dark despite it being morning, but the red glare from the fire trucks and ambulances lit the sky, and the

rushofemergencypersonnelbuzzedaroundthem.

“What a freaking disaster.” No truer words had ever been spoken. Said words were uttered by her

eternallysarcasticteenagedsisterandroommate.

She turned to look at Danielle. “At least no one was hurt,” she said, pleased that she could actually

musterupsomethingpositivetosay.Itwasalltheyhadleft,really.Sheglanceddownatherdog,Captain

Hook,whowascurrentlypeeingbesidealamppost.

“Hook,” she said, giving his leash a gentle, but authoritative, pull. He looked up at her, his one eye

lockingontohersbeforeobedientlyamblingover.Theeyepatchontheothersidehadasmudgeofsooton

it.Decidingsheneededtoactconfidentandreassuring,sheputherarmaroundhersister’sshoulder.

“It’sgoingtobeokay,Dani.”

“You say that about everything. This is not going to be okay. We have no apartment, no clothes, and

seriously”—she paused to give Allison a once-over—“you are in desperate need of something else to

wear.Ifthisentiresituationweren’tsodisastrous,I’dbehumiliatedforyou.Imean,reallyAllie,flannel

reindeerjammiesandthatrattyUofTsweater?Ugh.Andthatcoat?Atleastbuttonitup.”

Allisondidn’tneedtolookdownatherselftoknowwhatshelookedlike.Butitwaseighto’clockin

themorning,andshehadn’tbeenplanningonstandingoutsideinthecrowdedstreetwhilewearingit.She

lookedoverathersister,notingshewasalreadydeckedoutfortheday.“Whyareyoudressed?Thefire

alarmwentoffatthreea.m.”

Hersisterblushedslightly.“Iwasjust—”

“Sneakingin,eventhoughyoupromisedmeyou’dbehomebyten?”

Theirconversationwasinterruptedastwoyoungpoliceofficerswalkedtowardthem.“Whatamissed

opportunitythisisforyou,”Daniwhisperedinherear.“Meninuniformeverywhere,andyou’restanding

herelookinglikeatrollwithadegeneratedog.”

CaptainHookliftedhislegclosetoDani.Youcouldn’taskformoreloyaltythanthat.

“Gross!” she yelled, backing up a few steps. “So what are we going to do? Where are we going to

stay?”

That was the million dollar question. She hadn’t bothered getting renter’s insurance, which meant

everything would have to be replaced at her own expense. And yeah, she didn’t have anything of huge

value,andshewasn’tonthebrinkofbroke,soshecouldslowlyreplacethings—keywordbeingslow.

After a quick chat with the police and providing them with her contact info, she looked over at her

youngersister.

“Sonowwhat?I’mnotgoingbacktoMom’s.”

No, of course they couldn’t go there. Their mother was a train wreck, and they’d probably end up

givinghermoneyinsteadoftheotherwayaround.Whenshe’dtakenDanioutofthereafewyearsago,

she’dpromisedhershewouldn’teverhavetogoback.

“Whatabouttheshelter?”

Allisonshookherhead.“Wecan’tgothere.They’rebeyondcapacity,andnowthatthey’vebeentold

theyhavetoclose…no.”Inthelastdecadeofbeingonherown,shehadlearnedhowtosurvive.She’d

builtupherownlife,gottenherdreamjob,andfoundfriendssheconsideredcloserthanmostfamily.But

since learning the shelter she worked at was being forced to close because of some big corporation

wantingtousethepropertyforitsrealestatevalue,itseemedshecouldn’tquiteshakeoffthefeelingof

beingtired.Tiredofthefight,oftheconstantuphillbattleshewasfacing.Sheneverregrettedforasecond

thatshe’dbroughthersistertolivewithher,butitwasanothermouthtofeed,moreresponsibility.And

nowthis;everythingintheworldshehadworkedsohardforhadgoneupinsmoke.Literally.

“Hello?Allie?Nowwhat?I’mfreezing.”

Nowwhat?Shebuttoneduphercoat,knowingwherethey’dgo.Maybeshe’dknowntheminuteithad

happened. Maybe she’d been dying to call him the second she’d managed to get them out into safety.

Maybeshe’dwantedtohearhisvoice,reassuringher.Hewastheonepersontheycouldgoto,andhe’d

taketheminwithoutquestion.Theonlyproblemwasshedidn’twanttobeindebtedtohim,oranyone.

Shealsoknewshecouldrelyonnoonebutherself.Shehadlearnedthatlessonatayoungage,andbeing

the optimist she prided herself on being, she could say it had given her backbone. Really, if she only

relied on herself, then no one could disappoint her. She had no expectations of anyone, except herself.

Thistheory/policyofhersdidcomplicaterelationships,becauseifyouwereusedtoalwaystakingcharge

andneverneededanythingfromanyone,well,therelationshipsbecameveryone-sided.

Nevertheless, this was one of those times she was going to have to reach out, but it wouldn’t be for

long, and of course if he said no then she’d come up with Plan B. Always have a Plan B, Allie. Now

they’d go to Ethan because…Ethan was Ethan. Ethan Dane was the guy she’d been trying to keep at a

distanceeversinceherbestfriendandhisbestfriendhadgottenmarried.Theirrelationshipwaspurely

platoniconlybecausesheinsisteditremainthatway.Shewaseitherasaintforbeingabletoresistaman

likeEthan,orshewasanidiot.

Shelookeddownatherensembleandcringed.Well,shehadnochoice;sheneededtoseehim.“Let’s

go,”shesaidtoDaniandstartedwalkingawayfromthecommotionoutsidethebuilding.

“Uh,hello?”Danisaid,catchinguptoher.Thesidewalkswereslushy,andthefarthertheywentfrom

the building, the quieter it became. Luckily, she’d been able to snatch her purse before evacuating the

apartment.“It’slikeeighto’clockinthemorning;wherearewegoing?Ahotel?”

Allison gave Hook’s leash a little tug when he started lingering near a fire hydrant. This was not the

morningforfirehydrantloitering.“No,we’regoingtoseeEthan.”

“Ethan?Yes!It’ssogreatyouhaveloadedfriends.”

“We’renotgoingtooverstayortakeadvantage.Justacoupleofnightsuntilwecangetanewplace.”

“Perfect,thenwecangotoHannahandJackson’s.”

“No,they’reatthecabinuntilNewYear’s.”

“There’sabiggerproblemweneedtoaddress—you’reabouttowalkintoyourhot,richfriend’scondo

lookinglikethat.”

“Itdoesn’tmatterwhatIlooklike.”ThoughshedidcringeatthethoughtofEthanseeingherlooking

likeabaglady…ortroll.“Besides,Ethan’snotathomenowanyway.”

“Whereishe?Andwhyarewewalking?”

“He’satwork,I’msure—”

“Atthistimeofthemorning?”

“Mostpeopleworkfortheirmoney,Dani.”Ethanmayhavecomefromaveryprivilegedfamily,butshe

knewhowhardheandJacksonPierce—hisbusinesspartnerandbestfriend—worked.Itwasoneofthe

traits she admired about him…among others. Not that it mattered. Different worlds, different problems.

Anddespiteherturninghimdownthreetimes,theyhadmanagedtomaintainafriendship.Theywouldbe

completelywrongforeachother.

Theyturnedthecornerandmadetheirwayintothefinancialdistrict,andEthan’sbuildingloomedinthe

distance. It was dark and cloudy; the snow on the ground was now mostly brown slush. The sidewalks

were full, most people dressed in suits and coats, rushing to work. Dani plowed through the revolving

doorattheentrance,andAllisoncouldn’thelpbutgaspattheimageofherselfinthemirroredfoyer.Her

sister had been right. She looked like a hideous little troll. Bag lady would have been a step up. She

avoidedeyecontactwithpeopleintheelevatorandkeptherheadlow.

Theyrodetheelevatortothetopfloor,andsherefusedtolookatherselfinthemirrorsagain.Instead,

shelistenedtothesoundofhersistertextingandheldontoHook’sleashtightlyasheattemptedtomake

friendswiththewomenindesignerclothes.Judgingbytheirexpressions,noonehadanysympathyforthe

dirty,one-eyeddogorherself.Hersisterwasattheoppositeendoftheelevator,clearlypretendingshe

didn’t know them. She nudged Dani out of the elevator when the doors opened, and the three of them

walked past the almost empty reception area. The soft glow of a light at the end of the corridor made

reliefseepthroughher,untilthesoundofsoftvoicesgrewlouderastheywalkedtowardEthan’soffice.

Theyslowedandlookedateachother.

“Soundslikeawoman,”hersisterwhispered.

Shewasn’tsurprised.Andsheshouldn’tbedisappointed.Disappointmentimpliedfeelingsotherthan

friendship. She had none of those. None. She looked down at her clothes and tried not to weep like a

baby.Theypeekedthroughtheglasswallofhisoffice.Allisonignoredthetinylittleflipherstomachdid

atthesightofEthan.Themancouldwearasuitlikenobodyelse.Hewastallandbuiltinawaythatmade

itveryobvioushedidn’tspendallhistimesittingbehindhisdesk.Ethancamefromalonglineofold

money, and he carried himself with the confidence and dignity of a man who had grown up among

society’selitebutwasalsocapableofstrikingoutonhisown.

Whenshe’dfirstmetEthan—attheirbestfriends’wedding—she’dbeencharmed,floored,and,well,

smitten. And smitten was not a word that was part of her regular vocabulary, but it applied in this

circumstance.He’dmadeitveryclearhewasinterested,andshe’dmadeitveryclearshewasnot.He

intimidated her. Not to mention the fact that Ethan hadn’t had a serious relationship in…um, ever. She

wasn’tinterestedinbeingjustanotheroneofthewomenhesleptwith.So,difficultasitwastoignorethe

man’scharms,shewasdetermined.Evenwhenhelookedatherwiththosewarm,whiskey-coloredeyes

andhismouththatalwaysseemedtohaveasecretsmilejustforher.Nope.

Sointhemeantimetheyhadbecomegoodfriends.TheysaweachotherfrequentlybecauseofHannah

andJacksonandthefactthattheyweregodparentstotheirfirstchild,Emily.

Hersisternudgedher,nottakinghereyesoffthewindow.“Who’sLawyerBarbie?”

Allisonfollowedhersister’sgaze.LawyerBarbieindeed.WhatandwhoEthandidinhispersonalor

professionallifedidn’tmattertoher,orshouldn’tmattertoher.

“Actually, she might not be a lawyer. Maybe she’s this hot model he’s dating who likes to wear

businesssuitsthatshowofflong,killerlegs—”

“Stoptalking.”Hergazemovedpastthewoman,whowassittinginanunnaturalposeonthecornerof

hisdesk.Shedidhavekillerlegs,butEthanwasn’tnoticingher—inthatwayatleast.Hisgorgeoushead

wasdownturned,lookingatsomethinginafile.

“Maybeweshouldwaittillsheleaves,”AllisonwhisperedtoDani.

“Agreed.Ifeelevenworseforyounow.Infact,you’reluckyI’mstandingherewithyousoIcanvouch

foryouincasesecuritycallstheinsaneasylumorwhatevertodrag—”

“Thanks.That’sjustwhatIneededtohear,”Allisonsaid.“Let’sslowlywalkback.”

Hooksuddenlystartedbarkingathisreflectionwithafury,thehigh-pitchedsoundechoinginthesilent

office.AllisonsuckedinabreathasshemadeeyecontactwithEthan.Mortificationanchoredhercrappy

rubberbootstothemarblefloor,andonlythescatteredbitsofremainingpridekeptherfromweeping.

“Nicejob,Hook,”Danimuttered.

Allison wasn’t paying her perpetually smart-mouthed sister any attention because instead of Ethan

staringatherinhorror,themanjumpedoutofhischairandboundedoutoftheroomasthoughhewere

runningtorescuehisbeloved…someone.Butitwasherhewasrunningto,whichmadeherheartswell

andherthroatconstrictbecausethelookinEthan’seyesmadeherforgetthatshelookedlikeanescaped

Christmas-lovingsociopath.Hemadeherfeellike—

“Whatthehellhappenedtoyou,Allie?”Theharshnessinhisdeepvoicewassoftenedbytheworryin

hislightbrowneyes.Hislargehandsgrippedherupperarmsandwarmthseepedintohercoldbody.

“I,uh,I’m…”Hervoicesoundedhoarse,andsherealizedherthroatwascloggedwithsomethingakin

toemotion…tearsofsomesort,becausesomeoneactuallycaredabouther.Notsomeone—

“What’swrongwithyourvoice?”heasked,frowning.

“I…um—”

Danisidledupnexttohim.“Smokeinhalation.Shealmostdied.Firemenhadtocarryheroutof—”

“Jeezus,Allie.”Ethanwrappedherupinhisarms,andthelastthingshesawwashersister’ssmugface

beforetherestoftheworldwascoveredbyEthan.Hischestwashard,thearmsthatwrappedaroundher

werestrongandcomforting,andthemansmelledlikeheaven.

“Oh,youknowthisperson,Ethan?Iwasabouttocallbuildingsecurity,”thewomansaid,standingin

thedoorway.

Daniscoffedandstoodatattention.“She’shisslightlydisheveled,butotherwiseveryhot,friend—”

AllisonbrokefreefromEthan’sembrace,feelingcoldagain.“Dani—”

Hersistershruggedandleanedagainstthewallagain.

“Why the hell didn’t you call me? How did you get here?” Ethan ignored Dani and the woman and

ushered her into his office. She didn’t bother looking at Lawyer Barbie as she walked past her—the

woman’shuffwasadequateproofofherthoughts.

“Sit,”Ethansaid,shovinghergentlyintohischair.“Nowtellmewhathappened.”

Hewasleaningagainsthisdesk,finelinesaroundanundeniablybeautifulmouth.

SheglancedoveratthewomancurrentlysendingheradeathglarefromacrossEthan’ssprawlingoffice

and crossed her arms. She was suddenly self-conscious. “I don’t really want to get into all this,” she

whispered.

Ethanfrownedandthenturnedaround.“Nadia,thanks.Youcanfinishyourpresentationatthemeeting

thisafternoon.”

Her sister then proceeded to usher the other woman out the door, shutting it a little too loudly to be

polite.ShefloppedherselfdownonEthan’scouch,completelyoblivioustoherslush-filledclothesonthe

pristine leather. Satisfied she wasn’t listening when Dani pulled out her phone and began texting, she

lookedupatEthan.

“Well,whathappened?”heasked.

“Ourapartmentbuildingblewup!”Danisaidbeforeshecouldanswer.

Ethan’stannedfacewentafewshadespalerthanthesnowoutside.

Allisonturnedinherchairtoglareathersister.“Stopeavesdropping.”

She turned back to Ethan and tried to concentrate. She needed a coffee. “She’s completely

overdramatizing.Therewasasmallfireinthebuilding,andwehadtogetout—”

“Smokeeverywhere,theyhadtoputanoxygenmaskonAllie’sface.”

Heranhishandsthroughhishair.“Jeezus—”

“Stoptalking,Dani.”ShecontinuedtostareatEthan,mesmerizedbythelookonhisface.“Itreallyisn’t

abigdeal.Noonewasinjured.Ijust…allourstuffisgone.Wehavenothingrightnow.”

“None of that matters,” he said in a voice that sounded thick with concern for…her. This caring,

serious, protective side of Ethan was disconcerting. Flirty playboy she could easily dismiss. Big,

protective,seriousEthanwasawholeheckofadifferentballgame.

“Iwouldn’thavecomehereexceptIdidn’tknowwhereelsetogo.HannahandJacksonaren’taround,

and I can’t impose on the shelter,” she whispered. He didn’t know about her unreliable mother, and

admittingthathewastheonlypersoninacityofmillionsthatshecouldturntowas,again,disconcerting.

A look flashed through his eyes, but was gone before she could mull over its meaning. “You did the

rightthing.YouandDanicanstayatmyplace.”

“We’llneedclothesandfood.”

Allieshookherhead,embarrassedbyhersister’sbig,teenagedmouth.“Justuntil—”

“Whatever.I’vegotmorethanenoughroom.”

“Idon’twanttoimposeorintrudeonyourlife.We’llbegoneinafewdays,Ipromise.”

“Seriously,Allie,you’rewelcomeinmyhomeforaslongasittakes.”

The shiver that ran through her then was totally caused by the fact that she had walked through the

freezing cold outside, not at all dressed for winter. Of course. It had nothing to do with the way Ethan

said,inthatwarm,rich-as-a-cup-of-dark-hot-chocolatevoice,thatshewaswelcomeinhishome.

Daniellesuddenlyappearedathisside.“Great,thenlet’sgetthehelloutofhere.”

“Icomewithalotofbaggage,”shesaidwithawansmile,hergazelockingontohis,ontowhateverit

washewascommunicatingwiththatlook.Shecouldn’tturnaway.

CaptainHookdecidedthatwouldbetheperfectmomenttopeeonEthan’smarblefloor.

“O

ChapterTwo

hthisplacewilldojustfine,Ethan.Justfine.”Danipattedhimonthearmandwalkedthroughthe

foyer,makingherselfathome.

He dropped his keys in the silver bowl on the hallway table and turned to the woman who always

seemedtobeonhismind.Hehatedtothinkhowcloseshe’dcometogettinghurt.

“Yousureyou’reokaywiththis?Daniellecanbeveryendearing,butmostofthetimesheenjoysbeing

apainintheass,”shewhispered,scrunchinguphernose.Alliewastheonlywomanwho’devermanaged

toconsistentlyintriguehimandappealtohimoneverylevel.Aftershe’dturnedhimdown—threetimes

—he’dexpectedhisattractiontohertogoaway.Ithadn’t.Insomeways,ithadonlyincreased,because

he’dgottentoknowherevenbetter.Andshewaseverythinghe’deverwanted.Allisonwasnothinglike

thewomenheknew,andbecauseofthatshehadeffectivelyruinedallotherwomenforhim.

“Areyousureit’sokayforHooktostayhere?”

Helookeddownatthedogwhowasprettymuchthesizeofanovergrowngerbil.Hookwaslookingup

athimwiththatoneeye.Whatcouldhesay?“Ofcourse.”

“C’mere,Hook!”Danielleyelled.Hookranoffinthedirectionofhervoice,hisnailsscrapingagainst

themarbleentrytileuntilhegainedtraction.

Sheunbuttonedhergod-awfulraincoat,andhetookitfromherhands.Hetoldhimselfheshouldn’tbe

checkingoutawomanwho’djustbeeninafireandwasnowvulnerable,buthe’dworryaboutwhatkind

ofamanthatmadehimlater.Rightnowalittleadmirationwasfine.Andhedidadmire.Alliecameupto

hisshoulder,allcurvesandsweetnessthathewantedtosinkhimselfinto.Shewasbeautifulinawaythat

couldbesubtleorstrikingdependingonwhatshewaswearing,butshewasalwaysgorgeous.Eventhis

morning, standing in his foyer with rubber boots up to her knees, reindeer pajamas, and a threadbare

University of Toronto T-shirt. She sneezed three times in a row then blew her nose after fishing for a

tissueinhercoatpocket.

Hehadneverwantedawomanmore.

“Blessyou,”hesaid.

“Thanks,IthinkIcaughtachilloutthere.”

Hefrownedagain,thinkingaboutwhatshe’dbeenthrough.“Youshouldn’thavewalkedallthatwayto

myoffice.Iwouldhavepickedyouup.”

Shewavedahandandpulledoffherboots.Shewaswearingredandgreenpolkadotsocks.“You’re

alreadydoingmorethanenough.Iknowyouneedtogetbacktotheoffice,andIneedtogettowork—”

“Youcan’tgotoworktoday.Youshouldcallinsick.”

Shepushedoffaclumpofwethairfromherforehead,andheresistedtheurgetoofferherahotshower,

preferablywithhim.“Peopleneedme.Ican’tbail.”

“Whataboutclothes?”

Shegroanedashersisteremergedatthetopofthehallway.“Iwasthinkingthesamething.Also,Idon’t

thinkIshouldhavetogotoschooltoday.I’vebeentraumatized.”

EthangrinnedatDani’ssuddenlyforlornlook.“I’llgiveyouacreditcard,Dani.Gobuysomestufffor

yourselfandAlliewhilesheshowersandgetsready.”

“Uhno,”Alliesaid,shakingherheadandputtingupherhandtosilencehersister.“Wecan’taccept—”

“Surewecan.”Danisidledupnexttohim.

“No,wecan’t.OhmyGod,Ethan,don’tgiveheryourcard,”Alliesaid,hervoicerisingtoascreech

whenhehandedhersisterhisVisa.

DanigrabbeditandstuffeditinherjeansafteraskingforhisPIN.Herhandwasonthedoorknob,and

sheyankedthedooropen.AllieshutitbeforeshecouldgetoutandthenwhippedaroundtolookatEthan.

Herblueeyesnarrowed.“Youcannotgiveheraccesstothiskindofmoney.Wemayneverseeheragain.”

“You’retoofunny.Iknowhowtoberesponsible.I’llgetthebasics.Boringworkclothesforyouand

somecoolnewstuffforme.Ireallydoneedtoinsistontakingapersonalday.”

“Buyonlywhatweneedtogetbyforthenextweek.Thenifyouarereallywipedyoucantaketherest

ofthedayofftorelaxhere.”

“Well,IthinkImightstopbyschooltogetsomehomeworkassignments…andleteveryoneknowwhat

happened,”shesaid,suddenlylookingexcitedattheprospectofrelivingherdrama.

“Dani,IthinkI’mtootiredtoevenargue.”

Shegavealittleshrugandthenheldherhandout,palmopeninhisdirection.“CanIhavethekeysto

yourPorsche?”

HechokedoutalaughasAlliegasped.“Sorry,kid.Takeacab.”

“Subway,Dani.”

“IthinkIlikeEthan’swayofthinking.”Withthatshewasgone,andhewasalonewithafuriousAllison

andHook,whohappenedtobeattemptingajumpontohissofa.Sadly,itdidn’tlooklikeitwouldhappen

anytimethiscentury.

“SometimesIwonderhowwe’reevenrelated.”Shepulledherhairoffherfaceagainandherwetshirt

clungtoher.Helethisgazewanderforasplitsecond,andhecursedhimselfforcheckingheroutagain.

Shewasfreezing,andhewasogling.

“Comeon,I’llshowyouwhereeverythingisforashowerandyoucangetwarmedup.”Shefollowed

himdowntheemptyhalltowardtheguestbedroom.“There’sonlyoneextrabedroominhere.Ihadthe

othermadeintoahomegym.Soyou’llbesharingwithDanielle.”Hestoppedabruptlywhenherealized

shewasn’tfollowinghim.Shewasstandinginthecenteroftheroom,staringoutattheview.

“Thisisgorgeous,Ethan,”shesaid.Thebreathlessnessinhervoicemadehimstopandappreciatewhat

she was looking at. The Toronto skyline was something he’d seen for the last ten years. He woke to it,

wenttosleeptoit,dranktoit,butrarelydidhetakethetimetostopandadmireit,oranythingreally—

otherthanAllie.

Hestuffedhishandsinhispocketsandstaredoutwithher.Snowwasfallinginasoft,slowpattern.It

was a gray day. Not one he’d think twice about. Certainly nothing he’d stop and admire. She turned

aroundafteraminute,shothimasmile,andthenwalkedtowardhim.“Sorry.Iknowyouneedtogetback

towork.Pointmeintherightdirectionandthenyoucangetgoing.”

He glanced at his watch. Yeah, he needed to get back—not that he wanted to. He had a meeting this

morningwithhisbrother.Theyweren’tinbusinesstogetherandhedidn’ttrusthim,butEthancouldn’tsay

no. Even though he’d wanted nothing to do with the family business, he was still invested personally.

He’dwantedtostrikeoutonhisown—andhad,withJackson—toprovethathecould.Fromayoungage

he’d learned that in order to gain his father’s respect he needed to prove himself. Prove that he was a

survivor. They’d written him off years ago, but he was still here. He and his brother had an ongoing

competition—started and encouraged basically from birth. He had lost repeatedly to his brother during

oneyearofhislife.Hehadvowedthatwouldneverhappenagain.

He nudged his chin in the right direction and led the way. He pointed toward the kitchen. “Help

yourselvestoanything.”HepausedwhileAllieslowedinthedoorway,thenhepointeddownthehallthat

ledtohisofficeandgym.“Theonlyplacethat’soff-limitsismyoffice.”Herealizedthatsoundedalittle

FiftyShadesandcontinued.“Ijustdon’twantyoursistermessingthingsupinthere.”

Alliegavehimalookthatmadehimthinksheknewhewasn’tbeingentirelyhonest,andshe’dberight.

But he had private things, and since he hadn’t been expecting houseguests, he hadn’t had the time to…

rearrange some items. There were certain things about himself that he didn’t share with anyone. There

werepartsofhispastthatonlyhisfamilyknewabout,andeventhenhewishedtheydidn’t.

Heopenedthedoortotheimmaculatespareroomanden-suite.Itwouldbethefirsttimethisplacewas

everused.

“Oh,thisisgorgeous.It’slikewe’restayingatafive-starhotel.Itotallyoweyouforthis,Ethan.I’m

comingoffahorridweek—”

“Whathappened?Imean,besidesyourbuildingburning.”

Sherubbedhereyes.“HavenHouseisclosing.”

“What?Theycan’tcloseashelter.”

Alliesatdownontheedgeofthebed.“Apparentlytheycan.It’samess.Wehaven’ttoldanyoneyet.”

“Maybethere’ssomethingIcando.”

Hereyeslockedontohis,andhisguttightenedatthelightinhereyes.Itwasalmostlikeadmirationor

hope.Eitherwayhewasscrewed.

“Idon’tknowwhatyou’dbeabletodo.Idon’thaveallthedetails,butIcangetthemandletyouknow.

AllIknowisthatthelandlordissellingthebuilding,andit’stotallywithinhisrightstodothat.Andwhat

“I

newbuyerwouldwanttoleaveitasashelter?It’sinaprimelocation,andwe’reguessingitwouldbe

rezonedforacondo.That’sallweknow.Ihatetoaskforanything,ImeaninonedayI’veaskedyoufora

placetoliveandnow—”

“You’veneveraskedmeforanything.”Hewaswellawareofthefactthatshewastheonlywomanin

hislifewhoneveraskedforathing.Heknewherpride,herdeterminationtomakeitonherown,andhe

admiredherahellofalotforit.Alliedidn’tgiveashitaboutmaterialthingsandappearanceslikethe

people in his circles. Like his family. She cared about things beyond the superficial, and a part of him

wanted in on that, on that bigger picture crap that went beyond what his acquaintances were absorbed

with.HewantedinonAllie.

Hetookastepclosertoher,notingthewaythepulseatthebaseofherthroatquickened,likingthatit

did.Hewouldhavelikedevenmoretopullherintohim,feelher,tasteher,andthenkeephersafe,and

hellifthatwasn’tafirstforhim.

“Ishouldprobablygetintotheshowerandstartmyday.Idon’twanttokeepyou,either.”Shetooka

stepbackandstumbledontothebed.Hehadtoforcehisgazeoffher.Hecouldthinkofafewgoodways

tostarttheday,andforoncenoneofthemhadtodowiththeoffice.

Headjustedhistie,thefeelingthathislifehadjustbecomeahellofalotmorecomplicatedjostling

him.Timetogo.“I’llfindoutabouttheshelter.I’lldowhateverIcantokeepitopen.”

fwewinthebid,weplanonclosingtheshelterandputtingupacondo.”

Ethanschooledhisfeatures,notgivinganythingaway,ashestaredacrosshisdeskathisbrother.“What

shelter?”

Hisbrotherrolledhisdulleyes.“HavenHouseorsomethinglikethat.”

Shit. He picked up his pen and twirled it through his fingers casually, resisting the urge to stab it

repeatedlyintohisdesk.Heleanedbackinhischairandtriedtonotthinkoftheconversationhe’djust

hadwithAllieinwhichhepromisedtofindawaytokeeptheshelteropen.Andherehewaslessthanan

hourlatersittinginameetingwithhisbrotherdiscussingthedemolitionofthesheltershepouredherheart

andsoulinto.

“Why would you close the shelter?” He knew it was a stupid question, but he was trying to get his

brothertotalkandrevealanythingthatmightbeusefultohim.

Carson scowled. That scowl was probably the only similarity the two of them shared, passed down

from a long line of scowling Dane men. “It’s a prime piece of real estate. The landlord wants out. It

wouldbetheperfectcornerforthecondoproject.”

“Right.Thecityreallyneedsanothercondo.”

“I get you’re not into real estate, but I think you must still have some business sense if you run this

company.Okay,soyouandJason—”

“Jackson—”

“Whatever, you’re tech guys. You won’t know what or even how to come up with a real estate

proposal,soyoushouldprobablybowoutofthisbeforeyouembarrassyourself.Sincewhenhaveyou

caredaboutthefamilybusiness?”

Hedidn’tcareabouttheDanebuildingempire,notonebit—fromafinancialperspective.Whatheand

Jackson had built was more than enough, but he did care about the family business on a very personal

level.He’dneverleton,butitwasthere,inhisgut,inthebackofhismind,always.He’dbeenpushed

out,andthatwasn’tsomethingthathadeversatwellwithhim.Hedidn’tlikebeingdismissedbyanyone.

Ethanleanedforwardinhischair.“WewerebothatthatmiserablebrunchlastSunday.YouknowDad

openedthisuptothebothofus.”

“Whichisamockery.Hesetyouuptofail.I’msureMomputhimuptoit—pity,probably.”

Ethan smirked. “I think you’re the one everyone pities, Car.” He didn’t get the full joy of seeing his

brother’s face go all red, as he was busy in his own thoughts about this disaster. While sitting at their

parents’diningroomtablelastSunday,theirfatherhadpresentedthemthis“challenge.”Bothsonswere

invited to present a proposal for what to do with the new property acquisition. Whoever won had first

dibsonthebusinesswhentheirfatherretired.TheonlycomplicationwasthatCarsonhadjustrevealed

thatitwasAllie’sshelterthatwasthepropertyinquestion.He’dhavetosortthatissueoutlater.Right

now,heneededtoconcentrateonCarsonandshakinghisconfidence.Theirfatherwasamanipulator,and

thiscontestwasafineexampleofhowhismindworked.ItwasashittythingtodotoCarson,honestly.

Carsonhadworkedwiththeirfatherfromdayone,whileEthanhadgoneoutonhisown.Thecompany

should rightfully go to Carson. He had a sneaking suspicion Carson was right and their mother felt that

Ethan should at least be given a chance. Since they all saw the empire he and Jackson had created as

inferior,theyprobablythought“poor”Ethandeservedashotatthefamilybiz.

“Dadopenedthisuptothebothofus.Maythebestmanwinorsomethinglikethat,right?”

Hisbrothercrossedhisfeetattheanklesandsmirked.“Thenthisshouldbeeasy.”

“Thenagain,IguessifDadweretrulyconfidentinyourabilitieshewouldn’thavesetupthiscontest.I

haven’thadtoworkadayinmylifeforDad.Neverhadtohearhiscriticism,kisshisass,youknow,all

thefunstuffyoudoonadailybasis.”

Hehadtheperversepleasureofseeinghisbrother’scockygrinfalterslightly.

“OrmaybeDadisfeelingbadlyforyou,consideringthetimeofyearandeverything,”Carsonsaid.

Ethansqueezedtheleatherarmrestsonhischair.Ethanhadlearnedfromayoungagetoneverlethis

father or brother see an ounce of weakness from him. He forced his muscles to remain relaxed, and he

stretchedhisarmsabovehisheadandlinkedhisfingersbehindhisneck,notbreakinghisbrother’sstare.

“Thistimeofyearmeansnothingtome.Ithasn’tinalongtime,”hesaid,lyingthroughhisdamnteeth.

He’dratherspendthedaywithDanianddiscussfashionoveradmittingthatthistimeofyeardidmean

shitloadstohim,thatthistimeofyearhauntedhimfromthebeginningofNovemberuntilDecember.That

this time of year reminded him of how weak he really was. But they had never had that kind of

relationship,sohewasn’tgoingtoadmitadamnthingtohisbrother.

Hisbrothershrugged.“Sure.Well,letthebestbrotherwin,Iguess.”

“Butwedon’tevenownthislandyet.”

“No, but we’ll outbid everyone. We’ll get it. Proposal needs to be ready for December twenty-first.

Drawings,everything.I’mnotsureyouevenhavethemeanstoaccessthatkindof—”

“Ihavefriendsinrealestate.”

“Really?IthoughtyouronlyfriendwasJason-from-nowhere-Pierce.”

“Jackson.”Ethanflexedhishandsintoafist,knowinghisbrotherwastryingtogethimriled.Nothing

liketheDanesnobberytomakeanappearance.HeandCarsoncamefromalonglineofmoneyandhad

attendedonlyprivateschoolswiththecountry’selite.Outsiderswerenoticed.He’dnevergivenarat’s

assaboutthatkindofthing,butthenagain,he’dbeenexposedtoadifferentsideoflifethanhisbrother

everhad.Maybethathadbeentheonlygoodthingthathadcomeofit.“Ihaveotherfriends.”Theproblem

wasn’tfindingacompanytodothisforhim.Theproblemwasdoingthisatall.Notonlywoulditbebad

enough to stand by and do nothing while his family destroyed Allie’s shelter, actually being the one to

designthecondoprojectwasanentirelynewlevelofasshole,evenforhim.

“Likewho?”

How easily he fell into this competition with his brother. “Hayden Brooks.” He watched with smug

satisfactionashisbrothertriedtohidehisdispleasure.

“Iwasn’tawareyouwerefriends.”

“Wenttoschooltogether.Wekeepintouch.”

“Well,whoknowsifthiswouldeveninteresthim,beingoutinVancouver.”

“Hiscompanybuildsanywhere,andIalsohappentoknowthathe’sintheprovinceatthemomentdoing

somebusinessinasmalltownnotthatfarfromhere.StillHarbor.”

“Whatthehellkindofbusinesswouldhebedoingthere?”

Ethan shrugged. He wasn’t comfortable discussing his friends’ personal lives with his brother. You

never knew how Carson could turn it around and use it as ammo. “Personal. Speaking of, how’s your

wife?”

His brother squirmed in his seat, his cheeks growing red. Ethan knew full well they were getting

divorced.

“She’sfine.”

“What’sthis,wifenumberthreeorfour?Thatmustbemakingquitethedentinyourfinances.”

“As lovely as this was, it’s time for me to go. I’m meeting Dad for lunch.” His brother rose. Ethan

remainedseated.Heignoredthesillypangofwhateveritwasthatstabbedhiminthechest.Heknewhis

brother and father were close. Hell, they worked together every day. It shouldn’t matter that they never

invitedhimtotheclub.Hewouldn’twanttogoanyway.

Besides,rightnowhe’dratherbethinkingaboutAllie.Inhishome,fordaysonend.He’dratherthink

aboutherinhisshower,andabouthowshe’dsoughthimoutinacityofmillions.She’dcometohimfor

help,whichmeantthatalthoughshe’dbeenavoidingeachandeverypasshemade,shefeltsomethingfor

him.

His brother paused at the door and turned around to face him. Great. His brother loved delivering

jabbing one-liners before he departed, like he’d watched one too many daytime soap operas. “Well,

whoeverDadpicksforthiswillinheritthefamilybusiness.Ionlyhopenothinghappenstoyoubetween

nowandthen…youknow,consideringit’sNovember.”

Nothinglikehisfamilytokickhimwhenhewasdown.Ethanclampeddownhardonhisbackteeth,a

string of curses wanting to flow out of his mouth like hot lava. Instead, he held on to them, giving his

brotherasmile.“Don’tworry,nothing’sgoingtohappentome.Watchingyouself-implodewillkeepme

around.MerryChristmas,Carson.”Hisbrothergavehimasmirkandwalkedout.

Ethanstoodassoonasthedoorwasshut,andhecursedtheentirewaytotheliquorcabinet.Hisbrother

usuallygotunderhisskin,buttodaywasawholenewlevel.Thecompetition.Thementionofthetimeof

yearandhishealth.ButtheworstwaswhatthiswasgoingtodotoAllie.

Hehadtotellherthathewasgoingtobeoneoftheguysresponsibleforclosingtheshelter.

ChapterThree

llie hung up the phone, relieved she’d managed to contact everyone she needed to. If her sister

wouldhurryandreturnfromhershoppingexpedition,thenshecouldgetdressedandheadouttothe

shelter.Shewasdeterminedtosalvagealittleoftheday.

Thefrontdooropenedandsecondslaterhersisterbargedintotheroomcarryingwhathadtobedozens

ofbags.“OhmyGod,itwasthebestshoppingtripevah,”shescreamed,dumpingeverything,including

herself,ontothebed.

Allisontriedtoquelltheurgetoyellandtheloomingpanicasshespottedallthedesignernamesonthe

bags. She shut her eyes and tried deep breathing, but it didn’t work, especially when she reopened her

eyesandsawhersisterpawingthefrontofaleatherCoachpurse.Sheslowlyrose.“Dani,youdorealize

thatisgoingback,right?”

Daniellescowledather.“Excuseme?Uh,no.Where’syourgratitude?Thispurseisyours.Iboughtit

foryou.It’slargeenoughforyoutoputallyourwork—”

“Wecan’tafford—”

“Iknow,whichiswhyit’ssogreatthatEthancan.”

“Ihavetorepayhim,Dani.Wedidn’twinthelottery.It’saloan.”

HersisterrolledhereyesandpulledoutapairofUGGboots.Allisonshuthereyesandtriedcounting

toten.Noneoftheseuselesstechniquesworked.

“Allie,yourproblemisthatyoudon’tknowluckwhenitslapsyouintheface.Ethandoesn’tneedor

want you to pay him back. He’s loaded. So why don’t you show a little gratitude because I spent the

wholemorninggivingyouamuch-neededwardrobemakeover.Iboughtstuffforwork,stuffforplay.”She

heldupaVictoria’sSecretbagandwriggledhereyebrows.

Thethoughtofhersixteen-year-oldsisterpickingoutunderwearforherwasalarming.Shedidn’tknow

what the bigger issue here was—the money they now owed Ethan, or a wardrobe picked out by a

teenager.Shesatontheedgeofthebedandtriednottocry.Sometimesitwaspainfulbeingtheonlyadult.

Shewasherbigsister,butshefeltmorelikeDani’smom.Itmadetheirrelationshiptricky.

“Youprobablyspenttwomonths’salary.”

Danipausedinherfrenziedunpacking,holdingascarflimplyinherhand.“Seriously?That’showlittle

youmake?”

Allisongroanedandcoveredherface.Whatwasthepoint?She’dworkoutsomerepaymentplanwith

Ethanlater.Rightnowsheneededtogetdressed.Shehadpeoplethatdependedonher,andthecrisishere

wasover.Hersisterhadclothes,food,andaroofoverherhead.Timetomoveonwiththeday.“Okay,

whatdidyoubuyforworkclothes?”

Hersistersmiledwithsmugsatisfactionandpulledoutapairofdarkskinnyjeans,apaleblueV-neck

sweater,andtheUGGboots.“Wait,there’smore,”shesaid.Allisondidn’tbreathe.Asilverbraceletand

necklacefollowed,thenagorgeous,palebluepush-upbraandunderwear.

“Pleasetellmeyouboughtsomesportsbras?”

Her sister scoffed. “Puh-lease. You need underwire. It should be mandatory for anyone over twenty-

five.I’maidinginanti-sagging.”

Allison snatched up the clothes and quickly started dressing. “I don’t have time to argue with you. I

needtomakeanappearanceatwork.Ialreadycalledyourschoolandtoldthem—”

“Wriggleyourhipsandthenyankthemup,”Danisaidasshewatchedhersadstrugglewiththejeans.

Sheneededtomakemoreofaneffortatthegymonceshefiguredoutwheretheyweregoingtoliveand

howshewasgoingtopayEthanback.Andhowshewasgoingtosavetheshelter.Right.So,never.

Dani pulled out a plush terry cloth robe. “I’m going to take a shower in that gorgeous spa bathroom.

Thenalittlepampering.”

“Ineedtobeoutofhereintenminutes,soI’msayingbyenow.I’llseeyoutonight.Ethanleftyouakey

onthefronttable,butdon’tbehomelate.I’llhelpyouorganizeallyourschoolstuffafterdinner.”

“Oh,dinner…Iwonderwhatwe’rehavingfordinner.DoyouthinkEthanhasapersonalchef?”

Allisonopenedhermouth,butshedidn’tevenknowwhattosay.“Doyouhavecash?”

Danishrugged.“No,butIdon’tneedit.I’llbringthiswithmetoschool.”SheheldupEthan’scardand

flasheditaround.

Allison almost had a heart attack. “Excuse me? No, you’re not taking that to school. I will give you

whatevercashIhaveinmywallet.Handoverthecard.”

Danipouted.

Allisonshovedoutherhand.“Now.Buyyourlunchesfortherestoftheweekandpickupsomethingfor

dinneronthewayhometonight.Idon’twanttobugEthan,andIwon’tbehometomakefood.”

DaniellepulledouttheVisaandslappeditinherhand.“Youneedtolearn—”

“Youneedtolearnwhentobequiet.Goshower.Haveagoodday.”

Hersisterstompedoff,andAllisoneyedtheremainingclothesfortheday.Atleasthersisterhadgood

taste.Minuteslatershewasslippingintotheboots,andshecouldhearhersistersingingintheshower.

Shepausedoutsidethebedroomdoor,pattingHookontheheadandeyeingthehallwaysheknewledto

Ethan’soffice,bedroom,andgym.Thelookthathadpassedacrosshisfacereplayedinhermind.He’d

lookedclosedoff,suddenlyunapproachable,andthatwasunusualforhim.He’dalwaysbeenveryopen.

Itwasoneofthethingsthatattractedhertohim—inanon-romanticwayofcourse.Shewasreadingway

too much into this. Obviously, the man must have realized his pristine bachelor pad was about to be

invadedbytwowomen.Heclearlyjustwantedtomakesurehestillhadhisownspace.Yeah,theyknew

eachother,buttheydidn’treallyknoweachother.Shewasgoingtohavetogethimsomesortofthankyou

gift.Orhelpoutaroundthehouse.Orsomething.

Halfanhourlatershewaswalkingthroughthedoorsoftheshelter,readytodealwithwhatevercame

herwaythatafternoon.Thisplacealwaysfeltmorelikeahomethanahomelessshelterforteens.Itwas

openaroundtheclock,andthereweremanytimesthatAlliehadstayedhereovernight.Assoonasteens

walkedin,itwasthestaff’sprioritytomakethemfeelsafe.Everyonewasgivencleanclothes,toiletries,

and a hot meal. There was a floor for boys and one for girls, and the entire building had a capacity to

house almost one hundred youths. What they did here was integral. It was a known place, in a central

location. No kid wanted to be on the street, and so many of them came from abuse and violence, this

becomingtheirfirsttrulysafehome.Dailyroutines,setmealtimes,andchoreswerenecessaryinbuilding

asenseofsafetyandstability—somethingmostofthemneededdesperately.

“Hey,Allie!”Denise,thegrouphomemanagerandhergoodfriend,calledout.“Youokay?”

Allisonnodded,takingoffhercoatandhangingitbythehooksbesidethefrontdoor.Shewalkedacross

thetiledfloorandjoinedherfriend.“Yeah,whataday.We’restayingata…friend’splace.”Whydidshe

pauseatthewordfriend?That’swhatEthanwas.Itmustbehersister;shewasmessingwithherhead.

“Oh my God, I was so scared when I heard about the fire. What are you going to do?” Denise was

currently finger-combing her long, curly hair into her trademark ponytail atop her head. Just seeing the

familiarmotionmadeAllisonfeelcalmerforsomereason.Maybeitwasasignthatnoteverythinghad

gonetohell.

“We’re going to stay there until I can find us a new place.” She walked around the front desk to the

smallcoffeestation.Shecoulduseacup.Oranentirepot.

“ShouldIevenaskifyouhadrenter’sinsuranceoranything?”

Alliewinced.“Ididn’thaveextramoneyforthat.”Shedumpedabunchofmilkintohercoffee,stirring

itslowly.“Boneheadmoveinretrospect,butbetweenDaniandstudentloans,Icouldn’tjustifyit.Iwas

soclosetobalancingeverythingandnowIhavetostartover.”Shetookasipofcoffee,hatingtoadmit

thisaloud.ShewouldneversayanythinginfrontofDani,becauseshedidn’twanthersistertofeellikea

burden,andshe’dneversayanythingtoHannah,becausesheknewherfriendwouldforcepitymoneyon

her.AndEthan…admittingthisinfrontofhimwouldbehumiliating.Again,oneofthethingshe’dnever

understand. She knew he’d grown up with money, lots of it. He would never get this. He was already

doingenough.

“You’llmanage.I’llseeifthere’sanavailableapartmentinmybuilding.AndwhateverextrasIhave,

I’llsendyourwaywhenyou’resettingup.”

AlliesmiledatDenise.ShehadbecomeagoodfriendsinceAlliemovedtoTorontoafewyearsago.

This entire place ran because of Denise. She put in long hours and was the rock behind it. “Thanks, I

mighthavetotakeyouuponthat.”

“Well,aslongasyouandDaniweren’thurtthat’sthemainthing.”

Allienoddedandlookedaround,makingsurenoonewaswithinearshot.Theyabsolutelydidn’twant

wordgettingouttotheyouththatthesheltermightbemoving.Thiswastheonlyplacemostofthemcould

relyon,sotheideathatitmightbetakenawayfromthemcouldbedevastating.“Whataretheodds?First

theshelter,thenmybuilding?Anynewsabout…?”Hervoicetrailedoffpurposefully,andsheliftedher

brows.

Deniseshookherhead.“No.EverytimeIpickupthephoneIbracemyselfforsomenews,butsofar

I’vegotnothing.”

Alliedrummedherfingersonthewoodsurface.“Iguesswe’regoingtohavetowaitandsee.Andpray

foraChristmasmiracle.”

“Speaking of which, I want to go forward with the tree trimming and decorating night next weekend.

Whatdoyouthink?”

Allienodded.“Absolutely.We’renotcancelinganything.”

“Perfect.I’llsendoutamemotothestaffandyouandIcangooverthefinerdetailsmaybetomorrow?”

“Soundsgood.I’llplantostaylatetomorrownightandseeaboutpickingupsomeextragoodiestogo

withthehotchocolate.”

“Perfect,sweetie.Callmeifyouneedanything,okay?”

AllienoddedasDenisestoodandbeganbundlingupfortheoutdoors.“Istilldon’tknowwhyyoueven

camein.Thedayisalmostover.”

“Youknowwhatit’slike.Ihaveappointments.Ididn’twanttocancelonanyone.”

Herfriendwrappedherredscarfaroundhernecktwicesoitcoveredhermouth,herhattuckeddown

low.“Theworldwillgoonwithoutyouforaday,youknow,Allie.”

Her words came out muffled, but Allie understood. She nodded and opened the door for her. Denise

gaveherawaveandwalkedout.Allieshutthedoorwithashiverandbeganherusualroundsofthehouse

beforesettlingintohersmallofficeonthemainfloor.Thisplacehadbecomelikeasecondhometoher,

and the kids felt like an extension of her own family. She had even managed to get Dani in here on a

regular basis to volunteer wherever extra help was needed. Sometimes they’d be short-staffed in the

kitchen, or they needed extra help sorting the various donations that came in. It kept Dani focused and

stopped her from feeling sorry for herself. Yeah, their mom had screwed up and both their fathers had

beenMIAsincebirth,buttheirlivescouldhavebeenmuchworse.

Threehourslater,Alliewasfinishingupwithoneofthehouse’snewestteensandshewaspleasedwith

howtheirsessionhadgone.Theywerestandinginthehallwayoutsideheroffice,closetotheentryway.

Maxwassixteenandhadcometolivehereamonthago.Hehadn’treallyopeneduptothemmuch,but

Alliefeltlikeshewasmakingprogress.

He’dbeenlivingwithhissinglemomwhowasanaddictandverballyabusive,butshehadonlyfigured

thatoutbyreadingbetweenthelines.Maxhadlivedonthestreetforaboutamonthbeforecominginto

HavenHouse.He’dbeencold,standoffish,starved,andbeatendown,buthe’dbeengivencleanclothes,a

shower,andabed,andwhenshe’dwalkedinthenextmorningtomeettheirnewestteen,herhearthad

goneouttohim.Itwassomethingthathappenedonaregularbasis.Shewouldalwaysremembertheway

the kids looked that first day when they arrived, and most often it was completely different from when

theywerereadytogoontheirownagain.

Theshelterhadastrictsobrietypolicy,sokidshadtobecleaninordertolivehere.Maxthankfullyhad

anaversionbecauseofhismother.Hewasalsoextremelyguarded,whichwasnormal.Theyhadtoearn

histrust.Routine,shelter,anddailymealswentalongwayinearningthetrustofmostoftheteens.

“Seeya,”hesaid,flickinghischininherdirection.

Allie smiled at him. He never called her by name. He didn’t call anyone by name, but she knew it

wouldcome,intime.Nameswerepersonaltosomekids.Callingpeoplebynamemeantafamiliarity,and

heobviouslywasn’tready.“Haveagoodnight,Max.”

Heshrugged,hisgazedartingdownthehall.“Okay.Uh,hey,Iwantedtoaskyousomethingfirst.”

“Sure.Doyouwanttogobackinmyoffice?”

He shook his head. “Uh, I was just wondering about Christmas. What happens? I mean, like, are you

guysgoingtobeworkingduringtheholidays?Dowehavetofindsomewhereelse…togo?”

Alliehadperfectedtheserenelookonherfaceduringherfirstyearofsocialwork.Sheneverwanted

someone to see her surprised. She wanted everyone to feel like their questions weren’t alarming or

revealing—evenwhenherheartwasbreaking.SheknewexactlywhereMaxwasgoingwiththis,andthe

insecurityinhisvoice,inhisstance,pulledather.“Ofcoursewe’reworking.HavenHousenevercloses.

Ever.”Asshespokethewords,doubtcreptintomind.Howcouldsheevensaythatconsideringthethreat

againsttheshelter?Well,shewasn’tgivingup.Thisplacewouldalwaysbehereforthem.Ithadto.

Henoddedandtookanawkwardstepback,butnotbeforeshecaughtthelookofreliefonhisface.“Oh.

Okay.”

He started to walk away, so Allie quickly kept talking. “Christmas is the best time around here, you

know. We put up a tree, decorations, there’s a special Christmas Eve and Day menu. Presents.” She

smiledasshespokeeventhoughhewaslookingdownathisfeet.Sheknewthiswasoverwhelmingfor

him,butshehopedbyChristmashe’dstartopeningupabit.ItwouldbehisfirstChristmasawayfromhis

mother.Duringtheirsessions,sheknewhedidn’twanttospeakabouther.Sheknewitwasnormalfor

himtofeelangertowardher,butitwouldalsobequitenormalforhimtomissherorfeelconcernforher.

Christmaswasaboutfamily,anditwasdifficultforkidswithoutone,whichwaswhytheywentabove

andbeyondduringtheholidays.

Max looked to the door as it opened. Ethan walked through looking like the cover model for GQ

magazine. Even when he wasn’t at work, success and power clung to him as beautifully as his tailored

suits.Agustofsnowswirledaroundhimasheshutthedoor,andherheartfluttered.Hebrushedthesnow

off his hair and made eye contact with her from the across the hall, giving her a wave and a smile that

couldmeltathousandsnowmen.Hewasholdingapapertray,tworedcupsinside.

“Seeya,”Maxsaid,lookingbackandforthbetweenthem,andwalkedaway.

“Bye,Max.I’llseeyoutomorrow.”

Hedidn’tturnaround.ShesawEthangivehimanodashepassedby.

“Hey,”shesaid,walkinguptohim.“Whatareyoudoinghere?”

“YoursistertextedmeaskingifIcouldpickuptakeout.”

Alliegroaned,andhelaughed.“Igavehermoneytogetherownfood.”Knowinghowhersister’smind

worked,she’dprobablythoughtshecouldsavemoremoneybytrickingEthanintopayingfordinner.

“Andthenshetoldmeyouwereworkinglateandthatyou’dprobablywalkhome.I,uh,didn’twantyou

walkinghomeafterdark,sothoughtI’dpickyouup.”

Herheartswelledatthethoughtfulness.Hewasoneofthegoodones,she’dalwaysknownthat.Butthe

wayhespoke,thewarmthinhisgazeandinhisdeepvoicewasenoughtomakeherforgetallthereasons

she’d made up about why she couldn’t be with Ethan. Not that he’d still want to. She’d come up with

stupid excuses each time he’d asked her out. Now he was just being a decent guy. She’d be silly to be

readingintoit.“Wellthanks…youdidn’thaveto.Idon’twantustostartbeingaburden,andasforDani

—feelfreetoignoreher.Onceyoustartansweringherdemandsthey’llonlyescalate.”

Hesmiledwarmlyather.Goodlord,themanhadthepowertocharmthesocksoffherjustbysmiling.

“Well,Iwasalsotoldthatyoulikealateafternooncoffee.”Hehandedheraredcup,andsheadmiredthe

whitesnowflakedesign.

She accepted the cup, a warmth and tingle sweeping through her as her fingers brushed against his,

whichhadnothingtodowiththehotbeverage.“Thankyou,thissmellssogood.”

“I figured since you drink so much of it you should have the good stuff. It’s organic, single origin.

Roastedlocally.”

“Whatflavor?”

Hemadeafacethatwasbotharrogantandadorableatthesametime.“Noflavors.Realcoffee.Tryit.”

Shetookasipandmoaned,closinghereyesastherichflavorhither.“Sooooogood,”shewhispered.

Ethan’s garbled cough made her snap her eyes open to look at him, but he was busy sipping his own

coffee.Sheforcedacasualexpressiononherface,holdinghercupalittlecloser.“Sowhatdoyouthink

ofHavenHouse?”

Ethanlookedawayforamoment,butnotbeforeshecaughtaflashofsomethinginhiseyes.Right.Of

coursethiswouldn’tlooklikeanythingmuchtosomeonelikehim.

“Nevermind,sillyquestion,right?I’msurethislookslikenothingspecial.”

“It’sspecial,”hesaid.Hisvoicealmostsoundedharshandhisgazewasintenseonhers.“Thatkidyou

weretalkingtolookedlikehewasonlyfifteenorsixteen.”

She nodded. “Yeah, Max. He’s one of the newer kids. Really nice, I can feel it. Sometimes I get a

feeling about people, you know? Even if at first they’re kind of rude or cold, I can sense who they are

underneath.”

He didn’t say anything for a long moment, those brown eyes of his filled with a depth that made her

wanttoknowhowmuchmoretherewastohim.

“Isthisyouroffice?”Heflickedhischin.

“Whatgaveitaway?”

“TheChristmastree,theemptycoffeemugs,andthepictureofDanielleonyourdesk.Also,youwere

standingrightinfrontofthedoor.”

Shelaughed,watchingashisgazewanderedtheroom.Shestoodasidesohecouldwalkin.“Iguess

it’salittledifferentfromyours,huh?”

Hefilledupthesmallspace,handsinhispockets,gazeonhers.“Ilikeit,”hesaidinalowvoice,the

baresthintofasmileonhisface.Herheartstartedtorace,andshewalkedintothespacewithhim.She

was drawn to that expression in his eyes, the affection, or whatever it was that was reeling her in.

“There’salotyoudon’tknowaboutme,Allie.Ithinkwhatyou’redoinghereisincredible.Ithinkyou’re

gifted.Ithinkyou’repracticallyadamnsaint.”

“Idon’tthinkyou’resupposedtoswearandsaysaintinthesamesentence,”shesaid,babblingbecause

somehowEthanwasnowstandingwithinaninchofher.Thecraziestthingwasthatshecouldn’tbesure

whohadapproachedwhom.Andrightnowshereallydidn’tcare,either.Also,hispraisewasalittletoo

much to handle. Ethan smelled like the outdoors and a hint of some fresh, clean cologne. His hair was

nowmussedupandhelookeddelectablymaleandgorgeousupclose.

“I gave up trying to impress the higher-ups a long time ago,” he said in a way that seemed to hint at

something.Shecouldn’tpursueit,becauseherphonevibrated.Thesoundwasjarringinherquietoffice.

Sheswallowedhardandforcedherselftobackupastepandglanceatthephone.

“Ugh.It’smysister.Shewantstoknowifyou’recominghomewithdinnersoon.”

Ethan smiled, and all of a sudden it was like the moment was lost, her questions fading. Ethan’s

undividedattentionwasdisconcertinginallthebestways.“Youcantellheryes.Istoppedandpickedup

food,too.I’mparkedoutfront.”

“Thanks,butseriously.Youdon’thavetodoallthis.”Thenoisefromthediningroomincreased,and

thesoundsofchairsscrapingagainstthefloorsignifieddinnerwasstarting.Shewasdonefortheday.

Heshrugged.“It’snotabigdeal,Allie.”

“Actually,itis.Ialsoneedtospeaktoyouaboutsomesortofrepaymentplan—”Shestoppedtalking,

becausehesoundedlikehewaschoking.

Hegaveherthefull-on,intenseEthanstarethatrobbedherofhervoice.“You’renotpayingmeadamn

thing.” His voice was low and filled with warmth…delicious, single-estate, dark-roast-organic-coffee

warmth.

“Youcannotgiveateenageraccesstothatkindofmoney,”shewhispered,movingclosertohimsothat

noonewouldoverhear.Shemadeitapointofnevertalkingaboutmoneyordressingtooshowy,which

wasn’tusuallyaproblem.Buteventodayshe’dbeenself-consciousinherdesignergear,atleastithad

beencasual.

“Don’tworryaboutit.Danigoteverythingyouneeded?”

Allienodded.Shefoundherselfstandingclosetohimastheywalkedtothefrontdoor.Everytimeshe

stood this close to Ethan he managed to evoke feelings of safety and excitement, both of which were

foreign feelings for her. His cashmere coat clung to his broad shoulders, and his trademark blue tie

peeked out from underneath. Everything about him exuded wealth and power. Things that should mean

nothingtoher,excepttheyalsosymbolizedhowhardheworkedandhowtalentedhewastobeableto

build a company from nothing. She darted her gaze away from his face, which was looking far too

appealing this close. His five o’clock shadow seemed to only highlight his strong, lean features, and

framedagorgeousmouth.

He placed the tray of coffee on the front desk. She reached for her coat, but Ethan had already

interceptedandwasholdingitforher.Shesteppedintoitandfeltasthoughsheweresteppinginsidea

decadentlywarmbubblebaththatwasscentedwithEthan.Shetriednottosighatherstupidityandpicked

uphernewbag.

Heheldthedooropen.“Readytogo?”

Shenodded.“Yeah,thanks.I’mwiped,”shesaid,grabbingthetraybeforetheysteppedoutintothecold

night air. She hugged her coat closer and walked with him to his car. Somehow he’d managed to find

parkingontheperpetuallypackedstreet.Minuteslatertheywerepullingawayfromthecurbandshewas

feeling the intimacy of the small luxury car around her. Ethan shifted gears and drove through the city

streetswithaconfidencethatsheaddedtohergrowinglistofthingsshewasimpressedby.

“Didyoumanagetosalvageyourdayafterweambushedyou?”Itfeltoddtobesharingdetailsoftheir

day.TheyusuallyhungoutinthecompanyofJacksonandHannah,notreallyontheirown,andcertainly

notlikethis.

He nodded. “Yeah, how about you?” He pulled into his parking spot in the underground garage. He

retrievedtwobagsfromWholeFoodsaswellashisleatherlaptopbagandswungitoverhisshoulder.

“Yeah,I’mgladit’stheweekend.Ineedtofigurestuffoutandsleep.”Figurestuffoutlikewherethey

weregoingtofindanapartment,howmuchshehadinsavings,findingcheapfurniture,andhowtheheck

she was going to replace what they’d lost, all before Christmas. “This’ll be my last free weekend

probablyuntilChristmas.Nextweekendistheannualholidaydecoratingparty.”

Theyrodetheelevatortothetop,justthetwoofthem.“Nice.Soyougettheentireplacedecorated?”

Heheldthedoorforherastheyopenedontohisfloor.“Wedo.Tree,garlands,theworks.Itgoesa

longwaytowardmakingthekidswhodon’thavearealhomefeelgood.Christmasisallaboutfamily,

andwhenyouhavenone,oratleastwhenyouhavenonethatyoucanrelyon,itmeansevenmore.Ifthere

are kids who celebrate different holidays during the season we make sure we honor their traditions as

well. These kids may put on a tough act, but they are heartbreakingly vulnerable. That’s why this news

about the shelter possibly closing is even more serious.” They were standing outside his door, talking

softlyintheemptycorridor.Hewasstillholdingthebagsinhishands,butthelookonhisfacestopped

herfromspeaking.Shedidn’tknowwhatitwas.Helooked…upsetmaybe.“OhmyGod,Ethan,”shesaid,

touchinghisarm.“I’mnotsayingallthistomakeyoufeelbad.Iknowyouofferedtohelp,butItotally

didn’texpectyoutosolvetheproblemoreventhinkaboutittoday.”

Heclearedhisthroatandlookedawayforamoment.“No,no,I…wanttohelp.Ijust…yeah,todayI

couldn’tgettoit.ButIwanttohelpyou,Allie.”

The way he said her name was almost magical. Like he actually really, really cared. She waved her

hand.“Iknow,Iknow,let’sjustenjoythefactthatit’stheweekend.Wealreadyhijackedyourhomeand

nowyou’rebuyingusdinner.Seriously.”

“Doyouneedhelpnextweekend?Withthetree?”

Hewasasaint.Whathadshebeenthinkingtheselastfewyears?Obviouslyshehadjudgedthebookby

itscover,andshehadbeensowrong.Thishot,beautiful,compassionatemanwasnowevenofferingto

giveuphisSaturdaynightforher.Sheforcedanormalsmileonherface,notthepatheticallyhappyone

thatwasinside.“Wealwaysneedhelp,butyoudon’thaveto.It’sSaturdaynight.”

“Noplans,”hesaid,unlockinghisdoorandholdingitopen.Shewalkedthroughandagaincaughtthat

whiffofwhatevercolognehewore—itwassomethingfreshliketheocean,notstrong,justahint.Hook

camebarrelingtowardthemlikearagingbull,andtheybothbentdowntogreetthedog.

“Thensure.We’dlovethat.Ihateassemblingthestupidtree.”

HisheadwasclosetohersasHookdemandedmoreattention.“Assembling?Norealtree?”

She tried to remember how to speak, but she wasn’t prepared for Ethan this close up, offering his

services.“Notinthebudget.It’stoomuchofahassle,too.”

“I’llgetatree.”

“OhmyGod,youguys,it’sabouttime.I’mdyingofstarvation.”Hersisterappearedatthetopofthe

hallandthenmarchedforward,grabbedthebags,andgroanedasshewalkedtowardthekitchen.“Whole

Foods,really?IwasthinkingmorealongthelinesofMcDonald’s.”

“I’dratherdie,Dani,”Ethansaiddrylyashehunguphiscoat.

Daniwasopeningthetakeoutcontainers,makingfacesasshelookedineachboxandlaidthemouton

theblackmarblecounters.

“Dani,maybeyoushouldsaythanks.”

Hersisterrolledhereyes.Shesettledonasandwichwithareluctanthuff.“Thanksforthefood.Iknow

itmustbehardwhenyou’reoldtothinkofwhatyoungpeoplemightliketoeat.”

“Well, you might not get to be old if you eat garbage.” His voice was laced with a smile, and Allie

watchedhim.Hedealtwithhersisterlikeshewasamusing.Hewasn’ttheleastbitbothered.

“Wine?”Ethanasked,turningtoher.

“Sure,”Daniansweredbeforeshecould.

“Notyou,”hesaidwithalaugh.

“Yes,please.Youmayfeeltheneedtodrinkonaregularbasisnowthatmysisterhasmovedin,”Allie

said.Ethantookoutthewineglassesandpouredwhileshetookoutdishesandforks.

“I’mgoingtomyroom,”Danisaid,almostoutofthekitchen.

“You’renoteatingfoodinourroom.”

“It’sfine.Cleaningladycomesineverymorningatnine.”

“Thisisthelife,”Daniwhisperedassheexitedtheroom.

“Wheredoyouwanttosit?”Ethanaskedashehelpedhimselftoasandwichandsalad.Alliepickedup

thesameforherself.

“I’measy.Wherever.”

He grinned. “Easy is hardly how I’d describe you.” He led the way into the living room and she

followed him, picking up her wineglass. Hook followed them, in the hopes he’d get handouts she was

sure. They settled on the dark leather couch. Ethan had the fireplace going and only the dim glow of a

table lamp lit the large space, but the city lights helped illuminate the rest of the apartment. Again that

intimacythey’dneversharedwasback.Snowfellinswirlingpatternsoutsidethewindows,andshefelt

asthoughtheywereinaprotective,warmcocoon.

She took a sip of wine, and they ate in silence for a few moments. Everything was delicious. Things

couldhavebeenverydifferenttonightifhehadn’trescuedthem.

“I’dneverbeentoHavenHouse.It’sanimpressiveplace.”

Shenodded.“Itis.Almostonehundredkidsrightnow,atcapacity.It’sasadtimeofyearformostof

them,sowe’rebusytryingtomakeitaspecialyearevenifthey’reontheirown.”

“Dotheyjustwalkinoffthestreet?”

“Mostofthetime.Ittakesalotforsomeofthem.Manyofthesekidsaresodejected,anddepending

how long they’ve been on the street, it can be really hard to reach them. But when you do—when they

finallystarttoopenup—it’slikereachingawholenewperson.Andusuallyit’sfromthatpointthattheir

lifestartstakingoff.Noonewantstobeonthestreet,especiallyateen.Whenweprovidethemwitha

bedthat’stheirown,food,andshowers,theylearntotrustagain.That’swhyI’msoafraidofthisplace

shuttingdown,Ethan.”Shewashorrifiedatthetearsthatseemedtoappearoutofnowhereinhereyes.

ShehadnoideawhatEthanwasthinking,buthisfacewentafewshadeslessthanhisusualtan.

Heranhishandoverhisjaw.“I,uh,IstillneedtoseewhatIcandotohelpout.”

Shenodded.“Ihaven’tsaidawordtothekids.We’renotgoingtounlesswehavenochoice.Idon’t

wantanyonefreakingoutatthispoint,andwehaveafewvulnerableteensatthemoment.”

He cleared his throat and put down his sandwich. “What about moving the shelter to a different

location?”

Sheshookherhead.“Where?We’rerightdowntown.Thereisn’tanotherplacethat’slargeenoughto

support us, or at least without having to make significant renovations, and we don’t have the time or

moneyforthat.Andjustthethoughtofsuchabigchange,ofuprootingthem,isawful.Peopleknowwhere

weare.Theshelterhasbeeninthatlocationforfiftyyears,sinceitopened.Kidsknowwheretofindus.

Tomove…”

Hewasstaringather,hismouthdownturned.Helookedasthoughhewasreallybotheredbyit.“But

maybeifyoumoveyoucangetamoremodernfacility,moreamenities…”

“We’dlosealotofkidsnotbeinginthedowntownarea.Wedon’tneedamenities.Weneedstability.”

Hedidn’tsayanythingforamoment.“I’llseewhatIcando.”

Shesmiled.“Iknowyouwill.Iappreciateit.Wow,youkeepcomingtomyrescue.Firstaplacetolive,

nowtheshelter.”

Heduckedhishead,amuscleinhisjawmoving.“Allie,”hesaid,hisvoicethickwithwhatsounded

likeregret.Hewasobviouslyhumble,whichwasnewstoher,becauseshe’dalwaysthoughtEthankind

offullofhimselfinacharmingkindofway.Evidentlyshehadalottolearn.Hisphonevibratedonthe

couch between them, and he cursed softly as he looked at the number. Not that she was being nosy or

anything,butthenameonthedisplaysaidHaydenBrooks.Shehadnoideawhothatwas.

Helookedupatherbeforeanswering.“It’sacallIneedtotake,I’msorry,”hesaid,rising.Shesaton

thecouchbyherselfasEthanwalkedoutoftheroomanddownthehallthatledtohisoffice.

ChapterFour

thantookalongdrinkofhisfreshly-madegreensmoothie.Heleanedagainstthekitchencounterand

mentallyranthroughtheplanhe’dcomeupwithtokeepAlliehappyandbeathisbrotherinthelittle

challengetheirfatherhadcomeupwith.Itwasbrilliant.

Sure,itmaynotbeexactlywhatAlliehadinmind,butintheendheknewshewouldn’tfindfault.He

justneededtoconvinceher—oncehehadsomedetailsandplanstopresenttoher.Withhisplaneveryone

wouldwin,exceptCarson,whichwasperfect.Excepttwominuteslaterhefoundhimselfthinkingabout

thewomansleepinginhissparebedroomandfeelingslightlyguiltyaboutdecidingnottotryandsaveher

shelter. Every day Allie went on and on about how nice he was. If she only knew the truth. Since that

couldn’thappenhe’dspenttheweektryingtoavoidher.Nowthathisplanwasfullyformed,hecouldgo

backtonormal.

“Dude,it’ssixo’clockinthemorning.MustIbeawokenlikethis?”

Ethan almost choked in surprise. Dani was standing in the doorway, hands perched on her hips, her

usualscowlevenscarieratthistimeofthemorning.Itwasstilldarkout,andhe’dfinishedarunonthe

treadmillandhadpreparedhisdailygreensmoothieintheVitamix.Hewasrunninghalfanhourlate,but

hehadafulldayaheadofhim.Plentyoftimetoputsomeofthefirstpartsofhis“screwoverCarson”

planintomotion.

Atleastallthiscrapgoingonmeanthewasn’tconstantlythinkingaboutD-Day.Itwasnextweek,and

hehatedthatdaymorethananyother.Butitwouldbefine.He’dgetthroughit,he’dgetgoodnews,and

thenDecembercouldunfoldnicelyandhe’dbeallowedtoindulgeforthemonth.Hejustneededtoget

throughthenextfewdaysunscathed,beatthetopofhisgame,andnotletanounceofvulnerabilityshow.

“Uh,hello?”

EthanglancedupfromhissmoothietoDani.“DidIwakeyou?”

“You woke up the freaking building, I’m sure.” She trudged into the kitchen, her bare feet flapping

againstthewoodfloorlikeaduck’sflippers.

Hetookasipofhisdrink,leaningagainstthecounter.“Imakethiseverymorning.I’veneverwoken

eitheryouorAllie.”

“Ihavealotonmymind.Mustbestress.”

“You’re,like,twelve.”

“I’msixteen.”

“Samething.”

Thatearnedhimagloweroftheworstkind.

“Where’sthecoffee?”

“Ididn’tmakeany.Iusuallygetitonmywaytotheoffice.”

Shegroaned.“Listen,weneedtogetsomecaffeinegoingASAP,beforeAlliegetsup.She’sabeastin

themorning.”

This time he did choke on his smoothie. He couldn’t picture Allie anything but cheerful. She was

alwaysputtogether.Evenafterthefireinherbuilding,thewomanhadmanagedasmileathisoffice.He

putdownhisglassandpulledoutajarofgroundcoffee.Danigrumbledaround,cupboardsslammingand

lotsofhuffingandpuffingwhilehemadethecoffee.

“You really need to get some normal people food in this place.” She swung open the fridge, made a

face,andthenshutit.“Toomuchprotein,notenoughcarbs.”

Hefinishedtherestofhissmoothie.“It’sashamethisisthefirstmorningourpathshavecrossed.Ilove

beingtoldhowtoeatbyasixteenyearold.”Danididn’tactuallybotherhim.Hekindoffoundherantics

andtheatricsamusing,likeifhehadakidsister.

Alliewalkedintotheroomlookingcompletelyalien,almostlikeshe’dbeendrop-shippedfromaone-

hundred-yearcomaintohiskitchen.Herhairwasallcrazy,andshewasrubbinghereyes.Shehadona

pinkrobethatgapedopen,leavinghimwiththenicestviewhe’deverstartedhisdaywith.Thepinktank

orcamisolewaslowcutandclungtodeliciouscurvesandaflatstomach.Heheardasnarkynoiseand

foundDanismirkingathim.Shesawhimcheckingouthersister.

Heclearedhisthroat.“Morning,Allie.”

He thought he heard a garbled good morning back, but couldn’t be sure. Dani verbally ambushed her

sisteraboutsomeschoolgossipandsomepartythatshejust“hadtogoto”thatAlliehadalreadysaidshe

couldn’tattend.HepouredalargemugofcoffeeforAllie,whowasnowsittingatthetablewithherhead

inherhandswhileDanikeptontalking.

“Here,sweetheart.”

Thatgotherattention.Alliejerkedherheadupandsenthimalookofgratitudethatmadehimwonderif

heshouldhavejustbroughthercoffeeallthosetimeshe’daskedherout.

“Anyonewantasmoothie?”

Danimadeagaggingmotion.“I’dratherdie,Ethan.”

“Thanks,thisiswhatIneed,”Alliesaid,gettinguptograbmilkfromthefridge.Onceshepouredina

heap,shetookalongsipandmoaned.Hewasn’tgoingtogetcaughtlookingagain,nomatterhowsexy

hernoiseswereorhowgoodshelookedwithhereyesclosed.

“Well,I’mouttahere.Haveagoodday,ladies.”

“You’re going already?” Allie was looking at him. She appeared normal now, her hands wrapped

aroundthemugofcoffee.

“Yeah.Anythingyouneed?”

Shepeeredathimovertherimofhercup.“Doyouhaveplanstonight?”

“Ofcoursehedoes.”

HeshotDanialook.“Noplans…well,actuallyIhaveadinnermeetingbutnothingafterthat.”

“Allie,he’snotgoingtowanttohelpus.”

He leaned against the counter and studied Allie. She looked beautiful without makeup. Not that she

usuallyworealot,butseeingherlikethismadeherseemyounger,morevulnerable.“Whatdoyouneed?”

“Ihaveapproximatelyonehundredgiftsthatneedwrapping,andIwashopingtogetitdonebythetime

thetreegoesup.ButIknowyou’recrazybusy,andyou’realreadygivingupSaturdaynight.”

Danileanedforwardinherchair,lookingbackandforthbetweenthem.Hepretendednottonoticewhat

shewasimplying.“Heis?Ihaven’theardofthis.”

Allie ignored her, too. “But I’ll make eggnog and bring home some stuff from the bakery.” Like she

neededanyofthat;hewouldn’thavesaidno.

“I’min.”

“I’mout,”Danisaid,standing.

Alliefrownedandpointedtothechair.“Sitdown,you’renotout.”

Hewalkedtothedoorandthenpaused,rememberinghismeeting.“I’llbelate,butI’llbehere.”

Shenodded.“That’sgreat.Thanks,Ethan.”

“Ineedtodiscussmyweekendplans,people.”

Alliewinced.“You’resureyou’restillokayforSaturday?TheChristmastreelot?”

Hegrimaced.“Ithinkweneedtogetoutofthecityandgotooneofthose…placesthatsellstrees.”

Allie’sfacelitup,andsheevenputhermugdownonthetable.“Really?Iknowagreatfarm.”

“You’renottakinghimtoBlueberryHill.”

Allienodded.

Heshrugged.“Whateveryouwant.Sold.”

“Soletmegetthisstraight.EthanisgoingtoslapaliveChristmastreetotheroofofhisPorsche?”

“We’lltaketheRangeRover.”

Danisatupatattention.“Ihadnoideayouhadtwovehicles…thisgivesmeoptions.”

Allieturnedtoher.“Thisinformationdoesnotchangeyourlifeatall.”

“YoureallyhavetroublegettingintotheChristmasspirit,”Danisaid,slinkingdowninthechair.

“Anyway,seeyoutonight,”Ethansaid.

“Haveagoodday.Thanksforthecoffee.”Heheldhergazeforamoment,takinginhergorgeoussmile.

She was standing in his kitchen, like she belonged there, like she wished him a good day every day,

except she wouldn’t be looking at him that way if he didn’t convince her that it wasn’t important the

shelterstayinitscurrentlocation.NowthathehadAllieinhishouse,thelastthinghewantedwastolose

her.Hecouldhaveeverythingifheexecutedhisplanproperly.

Daniletoutascream.“Ohgross.Hookjustpukedontherug!”

ftershefinishedcleaningtherug,Alliemadeherwaybacktothekitchen.Daniwaseatingsomekindof

organiccerealfromthebox,flakesmissinghermouthleftandrightandfallingonthefloor.

“Makesureyoucleanupafteryourself,”Alliesaidwithafrown.

Danirolledhereyes.“Ethanhasacleaninglady,Berthaorsomething.That’sherjob.”

Itwasawonderhowhersisterwentfromragstoricheswithsuchobnoxiousvelocity.“Don’tforget

we’regoingtoMom’sthismorning.”

Dani groaned and dropped her head onto the table, the cereal box falling and the contents spilling.

“Whydoyouinsistontorturingme?”

Allie closed her eyes and counted to ten. “It’s Christmas. We’re going to have a coffee, give her a

Christmaspresent,andthenleave.”

“I’mnotspendingmydayofffromschoolhangingoutwithawomanwhoneverhadtimeforeitherof

us,whichiskindofironicbecauseIthoughtpeoplewhodon’tworkhavelotsoftime.”

Allie finished off her coffee, not wanting to admit that everything her sister said was true. “She has

issues.”

“Whatdidwegether?”

Alliepaused.“ADr.Philbook,aboxofchocolates,andagiftcardtoWholeFoods.”

Dani’s head shot up. “You’re freaking kidding me. Whole Foods? I think that’s a bit of a waste,

consideringmostofhergroceryshoppingisdoneattwoa.m.atthe7-Elevendownthestreet.AndaDr.

Philbook?She’llneverreadit.”

Alliecrossedherarms,tryingnottogetdefensive.“Idon’tagree,andit’stoolatetohaveanopinion.I

paidforallofit.Iaskedyouforinput—”

“Iwouldhaveboughtheraone-waytickettohell.”

Allierinsedhermuginthesinkbeforeloadingitintothedishwasher.“WhichispreciselywhyIwent

shoppingonmyown.”

“Howcanyoubesookaywiththis?Withher?She’sacrappymom.”

Alliesighedandleanedagainstthecounter.Shefocusedhergazeonthedarkcabinets,therichnessof

thewoodinthemodernkitchen.Itwastooearlytobedealingwithfamilyproblems.Itseemedlikeher

problemsjustincreasedinsteadofgettingsolved.

Shestillhadn’tfoundadecentapartmentforthem.Itseemedthelandlordwasstillintentonsellingthe

shelter,andshemayhavetofacethefactthatitwasinevitable.Thenontopofallofthat,itwastimeto

visittheirmom,somethingshesecretlydreaded.Goingtovisitherwasalwaysadisappointmentanda

reality check. Day-to-day she didn’t think about their mother; she didn’t resent her, she wasn’t angry at

her.Butwhentheyactuallywenttovisit,allthoseburiedfeelingsstewedinsideuntilshewasfilledwith

thisdarkenergythatdraggedherbackintoanevendarkerplace.

She glanced over at Dani, who looked as though she needed some reassurance. Time to act like the

grown-up.“She’stheonlyonewehave,sweetie.I’mnotsubjectingyoutolivingthere,orgoingtherefor

weeklyvisits.She’snotabadperson,andshe’shadahardlife.”

“Sohaveyou.SohaveI.We’renormal.”

Allieraisedaneyebrow,andhersisteractuallyblushedslightly.

“YouknowwhatImean,Allie.Sheusesherbadpastforanexcuse.Sheactslikeakid,andshecan

nevergetittogether.Sheputsherboyfriendsaheadofus.Shedoesn’tevenloveus.”

Allieknewhersister’sfrustration.Sheknewitbecausesheagreedwithalotofwhatshewassaying.

Theonlydifferencewasthatshehadcometopeacewithit.Therewasalsothefactthatatonetimeher

mother had made the right decision. But Dani had no idea about any of that. “Dani, you’re young and

you’repissedoffather,Igetthat.Youhaven’tforgivenher,anditmighttakeawhile,butthesooneryou

letgoofthatangertowardher,thehappieryou’llbe.Andofcourseshelovesusinherownway.”

Hersisterscoffed.“DidyoureadtheDr.Philbook?”

“AllIknowisthatthemoreIwasmadatMom,theangrierIbecameingeneral.Ididn’tteachhera

lessonbybeingangry.Ijustendeduphurtingmyself.We’renotgoingtochangeher.Theoddsarenotin

ourfavorthatshe’sgoingtowakeuponemorningandhaveanepiphany,tryandturnherlifearound,and

makeituptohergirls.It’snotgoingtohappen.Soweforgive.Wedon’tforget,butweforgive.Moveon

withourlives.Wehaveeachother.”

Daniglaredatherforamomentandstompedoutoftheroom.

“Goshower!Andhurry,Ihaveabunchofstufftodolater,”Alliesaid.Shecouldn’tacknowledgethe

self-indulgentbehavior.

Theonlyresponseshereceivedwastheslammingofthebedroomdoor.Shesatdownatthetableand

droppedherheadintoherhands.Normally,dealingwithDanijustrequiredpatience,butwhenitcameto

discussionsabouttheirmotheritalsorequiredhertoholdontoheremotions.Shedidn’tknowifshewas

givingtherightadvice.Shedidn’tknowiftheseyearlyChristmasvisitsweredoingmoreharmthangood.

Hell,shedidn’tknowmuchatall.Shelookedlikeshehaditalltogether.Shewasqualifiedtohelpteens,

butsometimesshebarelyfeltqualifiedtorunherownlife.Whatifshewasscrewinghersisterupeven

morethantheirmotherhad?

Sheglancedattheclock,relievedthatitwasstillearly.Shehadamassiveto-dolist,anditwasherday

off.Allsheneededtodowasgetthroughthevisittotheirmother’shouseandthenshewouldspendthe

eveningwith Ethan. Whichshe felt inexplicablygiddy about, as thoughit were adate or something. Of

course,itwasnot.

wohourslatertheywerestandinginthesmellyhallwayofhermother’sbuilding.Theyhadalready

decidedthesmellwasamixofpotandfish.

“I’mnotknocking,youknock,”Daniwhispered.

“I’mholdingcoffeeandpresents,soifyouwantmetoknock,you’reholdingallthisstuff.”

Hersisterscowled,huffedandpuffed,andthenreluctantlyknockedontheirmother’sapartmentdoor.

Theirmotheropenedthedoorminuteslater,asfarasitcouldopenconsideringtheamountofjunk,and

squealed,pullingthembothinforagrouphug.“Mygirls,”sheyelled.Allietriedtokeepthecoffeefrom

fallingandrefusedtomakeeyecontactwithDani,whowascurrentlymakinggaggingfaces.

Theyfollowedtheirmotherintothesmallkitchen,tryingtoweaveinbetweenboxesandgarbage.“It’s

likewe’revisitingafutureepisodeofHoarders,”Daniwhispered.

“Shhandsitdown,”AlliesaidtoDani,whowasstandinginthedoorwaywithmoreattitudethanusual

onthesevisits.Theirmotherwastryingtoclearthetablefromtheassortmentofmagazines,lotteryscratch

cards,anddirtydishes.Afewminuteslatershesatdown,andDanireluctantlyfollowed.Allietriedto

concentrateonthesmoothtasteofhercoffee,whichwasfromtheplaceEthanhadnowgottenherhooked

on,andnotonthefactthattheirmother,whomshe’dcalledtheweekbeforetoarrangethevisit,hadn’t

botheredcleaninguporgettingoutofherrobe.Itmadeherangry,notforherself,shewasoverthat,but

forDani.Shewasalreadyregrettingforcinghertocomeheretoday.

Theirmotherwasstaringexpectantlyatthebag.Alliesighedandsliditforward,forcingasmileonher

face.“MerryChristmas,Mom.It’sfromDaniandme.”

Theirmothersmiledlikeakidonasugarhighandpluckedtheredtissuepaperfromthebaganddugin.

HersmilefalteredasshereadthetitleoftheDr.Philbook,butthegiftcardandchocolateswerewell

received.“WholeFoods…soundsfancy.”

“It’salittlebitofastepupfromthe7-Eleven,”Danisaid.Alliekickedherunderthetable,buttheir

motherwasn’tevenfollowing.

“Thankyousomuch,girls.”

“It’sallfromAllie,”Danisaid,slinkingbackinherchair.

Hermothertookasipofcoffee,nottheleastbitoffended.“IwishIhadbetternewsforyougirls,but

thishasbeenareallytightyearforme.”

“Herewego,”Danisaid,alittletooloudly.

“AndIwishIcouldhaveboughtyoupresents.”

Danileanedforward.“Letmeguess.Yougaveitalltoyourdouchebagboyfriend,whospentitonthe

slots?”

Allieshookherheadandshuthereyesforamoment,butnotbeforeseeinghermother’sfacecrumple

intotears.

“Heshouldhavewon.Andifwehadwon,Iwouldhavegivenyougirlshalfofit.That’swhatI’dlove

to do for you—wait a second,” her mother said, jumping up. She rifled through a kitchen drawer that

couldn’tfullyclosebecauseitwasfilledwithsomuchjunk.Shegrabbedsomethingandthenspunaround

to face them, holding it behind her back. Allie groaned inwardly. “I do have something!” She marched

overtoDaniandplacedapackofChristmasM&Msonthetableinfrontofher.

Allieplacedherelbowsonthetableandloweredherheadintoherhands,blockingouthermother’s

smilingface,andbracedherselfforthefallout.

“Youhavegottobekiddingme,”Danisaid.

“Youdon’tlikethem?”

Allieleanedforwardandtriedtogettheconversationbackontracksoshedidn’thavetodwellonthe

factthattheirmotherhadjustattemptedtopassoffaforgottenpackofM&Msasacarefullythought-out

gift.“Mom,youknowyoudon’thavemoneytowasteatthecasino.”

Hermothersniffledintoathreadbaretissueandsatdown.“Oh,I’velearnedmylesson,Allie.”

Daniletoutachokedsqueal.

Hermotherstutteredforamomentandthenbeganspeaking.“Iknowthismustlookbad,butthingsare

reallypickingupforme.Ihaveajobinterviewnextweek,andBilldoes,too.AndyouknowIhatetoask

foranything,sweetie—”

“Really?YouaskAllieforthingsallthetime.”

Alliebracedherselfforwhateverwascoming;shedidn’tevenbothertellingDanitobequiet.

“Ijustneedfivehundreddollarstocoverrent,andIpromisetopayyouback.”

Allie shut her eyes for a moment, forcing the sound of her mother’s voice into the back of her mind,

alongwiththesoundofDani’schairslidingagainstthelinoleumfloor.Fivehundreddollars.Shewanted

toyellather,shakeher.Shesaiditlikefivehundreddollarswassoeasyforhertocomeby.Shewanted

toyellandsayhowdaresheaskherformoneywhenshewasraisingherdaughter.Sheopenedhereyes

andstaredatthegiftsshe’dboughtforher.SheslowlylookedoveratDaniandwassorryshe’ddragged

herhere.It’snotthatshe’dexpectedtheirmothertohavemadeamajorlifechange,butshe’dhopedfor…

something.SomethingthatmightgiveDanialittlebitofpeace.

Itwastimetogo.Shestoodup.Hermotherwhisperedhername,wrappingherhandaroundherwrist.

“Allieremember,rememberIhelpedyou.Iwastherewhenyouneededmemost.”

Allie paused, looking down. She hated this. She hated that Dani was watching so closely. She never

shouldhavebroughtherhere.Alliesqueezedhereyesshutforamoment,tryingtonotthinkoftheevent

that her mother spoke of. There were so many things Dani didn’t understand. She opened her eyes, not

lookingathersister.“I,uh,Icangiveyouacheck,”shewhispered.

“What?”Daniyelled.“Mom,youknowwewereinafire,right?Like,there’snoextramoney?”

Hermotherwaswringingherhands,hergazedartingaroundtheroom.Shewaslookingforabottle.“I

know…andI’mreallysorryIcouldn’ttakeyougirlsin.”

“Wewouldn’thavecomehereanyway.”

“Dani,waitformebythedoor,”Alliesaid,takinghercheckbookfromherpurse.

“You’reaweak,spinelesscoward,Allie!Ican’tbelieveyou!”

Allie clenched her teeth, pausing as she stared in her bag. Her stomach rolled uncomfortably. She

forcedadeepbreath.“Gotothedoor.Don’tspeaktomeuntilwegetbacktoEthan’s.”Danistompedoff

tothefrontdoor.

Hermother’shandgraspedhers.“Thankyou,Allie.”

Alliestomachstartedrollingagain,andshepriedherhandawayfromhermother’s.Shedidn’twantto

betouched.Shetookoutherpen,wrotethecheck,andplaceditonthetable.

“MerryChristmas,”Alliesaid,thenwalkedoutthedoor.Shestoodinthehallwayforamoment.Dani

was waiting in front of the stairwell. She tried her hardest to be the bigger person, the wiser person,

becausethat’swhoshe’dhadtobeherentirelife.Shewalkedtowardhersister,wishingforsomeoneto

walkbesideher,becauseshe’dalwayswalkedalone.Rightnowitwaslikeeverythingwasfallingapart,

worsethanever,andshejustdidn’tfeelliketryingtobecheerfulorwise.Shewantedtohaveherown

meltdown. She hated that her mother still had that hold over her, that with just one reminder, she could

bringAlliebacktothemostvulnerabletimeinherlife.

Hersister’sblueeyeslockedontohers,andAlliecouldtellshe’dbeencrying.Herheartsqueezed,and

itseemedshewasabletomusterupthatresponsibleperson,becausesheputherarmaroundherandgave

herahug.“Iknowitsucks,Dani.Butwehaveeachother.”

Sheexpectedhersistertohugherback,butDanipulledoutofherhug.“Ican’tbelieveyoudidthat.I

wantedtotakethosefreakingM&Msand—”

“Hey,Iknow.”

“Iamnevercominghereagain.I’mneverseeingheragain.”

Allienoddedslowlyandreachedouttotouchhersister’sarm.“It’sokay.”

Danishruggedheroff.“It’snotokay,andI’mstillpissedatyouforbeingadoormat.”

“Don’ttalktomethatway.”

“Why,whatareyougoingtodo?Kickmeout,notgivemefood?Fine,thendoit.”

Allie schooled her features, compartmentalizing her hurt, and used her professional skills, pretending

Daniwasoneofherkidsfromwork.Sheknewwherethiswascomingfrom.WhenshehadtakenDaniout

oftheirmother’scare,ithadbeenoutofnecessity.ThepromiseshermotherhadmadeAlliehadallbeen

broken, and Allie’d had no choice but to pull her ten-year-old sister out. She knew Dani hadn’t gotten

overthefeelingofabandonment.ShealsoknewthatDanihadnoideawhyshestillfeltindebtedtotheir

mother.“We’restucktogether,kid.”

“I’mdone,Allie.Idon’twanttobestuckwithyouanymore.Howcanyoubesotoughandsostupidat

thesametime?”

Hurtslashedthroughher.Alliestaredintohersister’seyesandtriednottocry.Shesawthematurity

there, years ahead of where she usually was. She owed it to her sister to tell her the secret she’d kept

buriedfromherforsolong.“I’vebeentryingtoprotectyou.IknowyoualreadydespiseMom,andIjust

didn’twanttomakeitworse.”

Danistoodthere,fiddlingwiththeredscarfaroundherneckandwatchingher.“Whatareyoutalking

about?”

Alliekepthervoicelowandtriedtomakeitbrief.“IgaveherthemoneybecauseIoweher.”

“Forwhat?”

“Forchoosingme.”Shelookeddownatherboots,wishingshecouldtakebackwhatshe’dstarted.She

neveropeneduptoanyone,butmaybeitwastime.MaybeitwastimeDaniunderstoodeverything.

“Choosingyouoverwhat?”

“Over her boyfriend at the time. She took my word for something. She took my word over his,” she

whispered,tryingtoreininheremotions,thememories,sothatDaniwouldremaincalm.

“Whatwasitabout?”

AllielookedoverDani’sshoulder,concentratingontheglowingE

XIT

sign.“He,uh,startedcominginto

myroomatnight.”

Danisqueezedhereyesshutandcoveredherears,shakingherhead.“No,no,no,Ican’tdealwiththis.

No.”

And then she was gone. Allie watched her disappear down the empty stairwell, tears blurring her

vision.Shewouldn’tgoafterhernow.Shecouldbarelybreathe.Juststartingtospeakhaddrainedherof

all the strength she had left. She had just spoken about something so dark from her past, and she was

shuttingdown.Shewantedtositdownandcry.Foronce,sheneededsomeonearoundhertobestronger

thanher.ShenevershouldhavesaidanythingtoDani.Shewasn’tready.Shegotthatsheneededtoblow

offsteam,andsheknewDanihadagoodgroupoffriends.SoDaniwouldprobablygotoherbestfriend’s

house.Andshe…thiswasn’tsomethingshecouldtellEthan.Howcouldhepossiblyunderstandthis?She

looked around the filthy hallway, the smells that were familiar now clinging to her clothes. No, Ethan

wouldneverbeabletorelatetoanyofthis.Whereshewas,whoshewas,wouldneverbeenoughfor

Ethan.

ChapterFive

than straightened his tie as the elevator doors opened. He made his way down the corridor of the

DaneBuildingGroup,thefamiliarityofitropinghimintothinkingaboutallthetimeshe’dbeenhere

asakid,ateenager,anadult.

Whenhe’dbeenlittle,he’dwantedtoworkhere,alongsidehisfather.Hehadalwaysthoughtthatwas

his destiny. His father would bring him into work and Ethan would listen attentively, fascinated by

meetingsandthewayhisfathercommandedauthority.Helovedhowsmarthisfathersounded.Hewanted

tobejustlikehim.HehadalwaysbeensmarterthanCarson,workedharderthanCarson,andatonepoint

inhislife,hisfatherhadknownthat.Heandhisfatherhadbonded.Untilthedaythedoctorstoldthemall

justhowweakEthanwas.Thatwasthedayheandhisfatherhadgrownapart.Thatwastheendofhis

tripstotheofficewithhisfather.TheendofbeingconnectedtohisfatherandthebeginningofCarson’s

risetopower.

Forawhile,Ethanhadbeentoosicktocare.He’dseenithappening,he’dsensedithappening.Hefelt

likeatoythathadbeenrejectedfornotbeingperfectanymore.Evenwhenhe’drecovered,thingsdidn’t

go back to normal. Ethan had to work harder just to prove that he was capable of doing what he could

before.Buthisfather’sfaithhadbeenlost,andsohadhis.

Little competitions began between him and Carson, their rivalry only growing. He knew Carson had

beenthreatenedbyhim,andtherewasnowayEthanwouldlethimwin.Despiteallhisaccomplishments,

hisbettergrades,hisextra-curricularachievements,noneofitwasgoodenoughfortheirfatheranymore.

Ethanstoppedoutsidetheboardroom,hisgazewanderingovertheemployeessittingatthelongtable.

His father was at the head; Carson sat to his right. A long time ago, Ethan had imagined himself sitting

there.Maybethiscompetitionwashisfather’swayofgivinghimhisrightfulplaceinthecompany.Maybe

hisfatherreallydidwanthimbesidehimnow.

Ethangrabbedthedoorhandle,hishandclenchingthecoolsteelbartightly.Toobadhewasn’tdoing

anyofthisforthatreason.Hedidn’twanttositbesidehisfatheranymore.Oranyofthem.Hejustneeded

toprovethathecould.

“Mr.Dane,”avoicecalledout.

Heturnedtoseehisfather’ssecretarywalkingtowardhim.

“Don’tworry,Rose.I’mgoingtoseemyselfin.”

Conversation petered out as he approached the head of the table where his father was sitting. The

surprise and gleam of pride in his father’s eyes should have filled him with satisfaction, but for some

reasonitdidn’t.Someonebroughthimoneoftheleatherswivelchairs,andhesatdownnexttohisfather,

oppositeCarson.Hisbrother’sfacewasredanditlookedlikehewasreadytobreakintoasweat,which

was precisely the reaction he wanted. Ethan never came to these meetings. He knew Carson saw it as

Ethanmarkinghisterritory.Helikedtothinkofitasthatandalsoenjoyingbeingashit-disturber,justas

Carsonhadmercilesslydonetohimwhentheywereyounger.

“Hi, Dad,” he said as he sat down. He turned to everyone at the table, some of the faces familiar.

“Goodmorning,everyone.”

HesettledintohischairandgaveCarsonasmirk.

Hisfatherstoodandgesturedtohim.“Forthoseofyouwhodon’tknow,thisismytalentedson,Ethan.

He’sdecidedtosurpriseusandlistenintotoday’smeeting.Hopefullyonedaywecanconvincehimto

joinushereatDaneBuildingGroup.”

Ethanforcedhimselftokeephisexpressioncalm.Itwasthefirsttimeinyearshisfatherhadoffered

him any kind of praise, backhanded or not. It should have made him feel proud, especially considering

howshittyCarsonwaslooking.

Hisbrotherleanedforward.“Thisisaclosedmeeting.”

Ethanleanedforward,eyeslockedonhisbrother’s,andtookalongdrinkofhiswater.Hewasvery

awareoftheirfatherstaringattheinterchange,alongwitheveryoneelsepretendingnottostare.“I’ma

shareholder.”

“That’sright,Carson.EthanmayalsobetakingoverthecompanyifhisproposalisasgoodasIexpect

itwillbe.”

Carsonlookedasthoughhisheadwasabouttoexplode.Ifhelikedhisbrothermore,he’dalmostfeel

badforhim.Theirfatherwasreallyadisloyalmanipulator.

Carsonleanedbackinhischairandspokealittletooloudly.“Well,that’sifhecanmanageallthat.We

allknowhemustbebusywithallhisdoctor’sappointments.”

HeeyedCarson’schairanddecideditwouldn’ttipovereasily.

“I’msurehe’llmanage,healwaysdoes.I’mgladyoujoinedustoday,Ethan.Iwasgoingtocalland

inviteyoutotheclubtonightfordinner.Seveno’clock.”

Ofcourseitwasassumedthathe’dsayyes.Hisfatherhadn’tevenasked,justcommanded.Hewasn’t

Carson. As much as he was jealous of Carson, he wasn’t him. “Thanks for the invitation, but I have

plans.”Muchbetterplans.

Carsonchoked on hiscoffee. Their fathernodded stiffly but didn’tsay a word,and soon the meeting

started.Hesatthere,thinkinghowcrazythisallwas.He’dthoughthe’dgetsomesortofhighbybeing

here and screwing with Carson’s head, but he didn’t. Nothing compared to how he felt when he was

aroundAllie.

ell. This day was going to hell, and it wasn’t over yet. It had started out so promising—ambushing the

meeting, watching Carson squirm, having their father openly favor him…but instead he was left with a

crappyfeelinginthepitofhisstomach.HefoundhimselfrottinginguiltbecauseofAllieandthe

shelter.

Ethanslammedhisphonedownonhisdeskandstaredoutthewindow.Noonewashome.Alliewas

workinglate,andDaniwaswhereveritwasteenagerswentclosetotheweekend.

Hedidn’tknowhowhewasgoingtofaceAllietonight.Ortomorrow.Oranyday,unlesssomekindof

miraclehappened.Sincehedidn’tbelieveinthose,hewasSOL.

Thephonerangandhepickeditup,hopingthatmaybeitwashisofficewithsomekindofgoodnews.

He had already touched base with his lawyer and good friend, Nicholas Wright, and started the ball

rollingonfindingadifferentpropertyfortheshelter.Ifhecouldn’tkeeptheshelteropeninthatlocation,

thenheneededtoworkonPlanB.Sofar,theproblemwasthatallthesuitablepropertiesweretoodistant

fromthecity.NotatallwhatAlliewanted.

“Hello,Mr.Dane,thisisJulieatDr.Peterson’soffice.Iwantedtoletyouknowthatyourappointment

scheduledforDecemberfirsthasbeenrescheduledforthefifth.”

Ethanranhisfreehanddownhisface.“That’snotgoingtoworkforme,Julie.”

“I’msorry,butDr.Peterson’sonvacationuntilthen.It’sonlyafewdays.”

“Theseappointmentsarescheduledinadvance.Ididthescanandbloodworksixweeksago.”

“MaybeIcouldcheckandseeifanotherdoctorcanseeyou.It’sjustforresultsso—”

“No,Idon’twanttoseeanotherdoctor.I’llseeDr.Petersononthefifththen.”

“Thankyou,Mr.Dane.Theappointmentisforthreep.m.”

“Fine.” He hung up the phone, not in the mood for pleasantries. He made the adjustments to his

calendar,andthenchuckedhisredpenonthedesk.Hestood,lettinghischairrollalongthehardwood

andcrashagainstthewallafewsecondslater.Walkingovertohisbookshelf,hestaredatthepicturethat

hadbeenwithhimsincehewasakid.Hepickeditup,frowningashelookedatthekidsinit.Sometimes

it felt as though it had never happened, that he wasn’t that kid, that he didn’t know those people.

Sometimeshefeltlikehestillwasthatkid,thathewouldforeverbethatkid.Thatkidhadbeenfearlessat

onetime.Heglancedoveratthesmall,woodenboxonhisdesk,contemplatingopeningit.Heknewwhat

wasinside.Heopeneditonceayear,putthecontentsinhispocket,andtookitwithhimtohisdoctor’s

appointment. It was his good luck charm—not that he’d ever admit that kind of sappy weakness aloud.

The objects inside were given to him by two of the most important females in his life at one point. He

allowedhimselftothinkofthemthistimeofyear,andthenhewasbetteroffjustpushingtheirmemory

asidefortherestofit.

He put the silver-rimmed picture down, his fingers leaving prints on the polished frame. He wasn’t

goingtoopenthebox.Anothertwoweeks.He’dhavetowaittwoweeksforsanity.Twoweekstopretend

like he was this normal guy that was worthy of being Allie’s friend. And now he knew for sure he

couldn’tgiveintotheattractionhefeltforher.Allieneededaguywithsolidprinciples,whodidn’tgive

arat’sassaboutrevenge.Andshecertainlydidn’tneedaguywhowasweak.

Hewalkedoutoftheroom.Heneededtorun.

lliewalkedpastthecorridorthatledtoEthan’sprivatewing;sheslowedhersteps.Sheglanceddownthe

endofthehall,wheretheroomtohishomegymwashalfopen.Heneverlefthisdoorsopen,but

then he wasn’t expecting her home now. He probably thought he was here by himself. The pounding of

footstepsonatreadmillseemedloudintheemptycondo.

Sheknewshewasherebecauseshewantedtotalktohim,whichwascrazy.Shewantedhissupport,to

seehiseyessoftenwithconcern,hearthatgravelly,intimatetoneofhisvoicewhenhespoketoher.She

wasstartingtoleanonhim,andasscaryasthatwasforher,shecouldn’thelpit.Herentirelifeshe’d

beenalone,andshewasasingleparenttoherteenagesister,butlivingherewithEthanmadeherfeelnot

soalone,madehercrave…him.

Sheslowlywalkedtowardthesound.Maybeshe’dclosethedoorforhim.Pausingoutsidetheroom,

she fought the urge to peek inside. Close the door and walk away, Allie. Except she caught a flash of

movement and bare skin. Curiosity won and she glanced through the opening and she felt her jaw

disengage.Ethandidn’tjog;Ethanran.Long,powerfulstridesthatmadeitobvioushewasinhereevery

day.Hisshirtwasoff,drapedonthehandlebars.Sweatdrippeddownhistorso,andshestaredlikeakid

inacandystoreattherippleofperfectmuscle,thetaut,rock-hardstomach,thesheermasculinebeauty

thatshehadalwayspicturedunderhisclothes.Yes,mouthwatering,exceptforthelookonhisface.He

looked as though he was running with a purpose, away from something. The veins in his neck were

strained,theleanlinesofhisfacepulledtight.Hisexpressionwasgrim,determined.

Shebackedaway,feelinglikeanintruder.Itlookedpersonal,hisrun.Shepulledthedoorshutslowly,

hopinghewouldn’tnoticeher.Thedoortohisofficewasopen,andwhatwasitwithhertoday?Shewas

notanosyperson,buttherewasanothersideofhim,almostlikehehadawholeotherlife.

Sheshouldkeepwalkingbacktoherroom.Unfortunatelyherfeetdidn’tgetthememo,andshewalked

intohisoffice.Liketherestofthecondo,itwasimmaculate—darkfloorsanddark,masculinefurniture.

This room also had a view of the city along one wall. There was a fireplace with a thick, mahogany

mantle flanked by stunning, floor-to-ceiling, built-in, mahogany bookcases. Ethan’s desk was neat, his

laptopshutinthemiddle.

Shewalkedovertoadmirethebookcases.Herfingersranoverthespinesofthebooks,takinginthe

titles.Shepaused,hergazescanningthetitlesagain.Shetookastepbackfromtheshelf,thevastnumber

ofbookswiththesamethemefinallyregistering.Herstomachdroppedfasterthananelevatorinfreefall

asanideapercolated.Theonewordthatwasaconstantinallthetitlessentachilldownherspinethat

shecouldn’tshrug.Cancer.

Whatdidthatmean?WhywouldEthanhaveovertwodozenbooksonthesubject?Thatwentbeyond

justhumaninterest,unlessmaybeoneofhisparentshadbeendiagnosedandhewasdoingresearch.But

thentheimageofhimandthecrazysmoothiesDaniteasedhimaboutappeared.Andthehighlycontrolled

wayheate,theresolutiontoonlyallowhimselfsugarinDecember.Andthewayshe’djustwitnessedhim

running.

Shefoldedherarmsunderherbreasts.Maybethesewereallisolatedhabits.Maybenoneofthemhad

to do with anything other than a highly disciplined lifestyle. She looked up and her heart stopped for a

briefsecondashergazelandedonapictureofalittleboyandgirl.Herhandshookslightlyasshepicked

upthepicture.Thelittlegirlwassmiling,butherfacewaspaleandshehadaMickeyMousescarfaround

her head, which appeared to be bald underneath. She was dressed in a hospital gown. The little boy

beside her was Ethan, it had to be. His eyes were unmistakable, and the way they looked into the

camera…sheknewthatboy.Hewassmilingatthecameraaswell,hisarmwasaroundthegirl,andhe

waswearingahospitalgownandamatchinghandkerchiefaroundhishead.Herentirebodytingledwith

goosebumpsanddread.

“Shoot,”shemumbled,wipingawayafewtearsthatdroppedontotheglass.Shebitherlowerlipand

blinkeduntilshegotherselftogether.Shewasjumpingtoconclusions.Shewasinvadinghisprivacy,but

shecouldn’tlookawayfromthelittleboy.

Shelookedoverathisemptydesk,picturinghimthere.Handsome,charming,controlled.Heembodied

healthandvirility.No,thiswasalljustrandomcoincidence.Hergazewenttothedeskcalendarandthe

red circles in early December. She glanced at the doorway, making sure no one was coming, and then

tiptoed over to the desk, still clutching the picture to her chest. There were scratches and indiscernible

words on December first. But inside the circle on December fifth were the words “D-Day” in his

handwriting.Whatdidthatmean?

The frame slipped out of her fingers and tumbled onto the desk, knocking open a small box. She

scrambled, quickly trying to put the lid back on the box while swearing at her stupidity. A small,

handwrittennoteandaworn,paperhospitalidentitybraceletinsidetheboxstoppedher.Herheartwas

beating painfully now, and she knew she was a total emotional wreck. She shouldn’t be doing this, she

was not a snoop, but all this stuff was making itself so accessible, like the universe was deciding she

neededtoknowthisabouthimand…shewasterrifiedofwhatthismeantaboutEthan.

Sheignoredthetremorinherhandandpickedupthehospitalbracelet.Thetypedletterswerefadedbut

she could still make them out: C

ARA

RONS

DOB 07.08.1982, T

OSPITAL

FOR

ICK

IDS

. She tried

swallowing as she quickly returned the bracelet and picked up the note, closing her eyes as she

recognizedthefamiliarwordsoftheserenityprayer.Howmanytimeshadsherecitedthosewords?How

manytimeshadshetaughtthemtothekidsattheshelter?Howmanytimeshadshebeggedhermotherto

trulylivebythosewords?WhohadgiventhistoEthan?WhowasCaraBrons?

“Lookingforsomething?”

Allisonjumped,thepaperfallingontothedesk,andlookedinthedirectionofthevoice.Ethan,standing

in the doorway, sweat clinging to every perfectly sculpted muscle. She quickly wiped the tears off her

faceandgrabbedthepaper,droppingitintothebox,fumblingtoshutthelid.Shelookedoverathim,very

awarethathehadn’tmadeasoundbutwaswatchingher.

Hewasholdingatowel,wearingonlyhisrunningshorts,stillbreathingdeeplyfromhisrun.Afterher

sadlackofdisciplineinstaringathisbody,shefinallyraisedhereyestohisandtheyweredevoidofthe

usualsparkle.Orheat.Instead,theyweresharp,accusing,notanounceofwarmthintheirbrowndepths,

orinhimashestrodeacrosstheroom,stoppinginchesfromher.Shetriedtokeephereyesonhis,butshe

couldn’ttaketheangerthere.Shefocusedonasmallfreckleonthetopofhiswell-developedshoulder.

“Whatareyoudoing?”

Sheclearedherthroat,tryingtostopthepanicthatwasfillingher.Panicatbeingcaught?Thiswasn’t

normalpanic.Thiswas…

“Itookyouandyoursisterin,Allie,withonlyonestipulation:stayoutofmyoffice.”

“Iknow,Idon’tknowwhat…”Hervoicetrailedoffbecausetheonlyanswershehadwouldhavebeen

purecrap.Shehadbeennosy,andthencurious,andthenconcerned.Noneofthosewouldhavebeenthe

rightanswer.Undernormalcircumstancesshewouldbeabletotalkherwayoutofthis,butnothingwas

normalaboutwhatshe’duncovered.

Sheglancedathisface,andherstomachstirredwithdread.Hismouthwasdrawnintoatightline,and

helookedaspissedasshe’deverseenhim.Ethanwasneverangry.Heneverlosthiscool.Exceptnow.

Hergazewenttohishair,thickandmussedup.Thenshethoughtofthepicture,thelittleboywithouthair,

andshewantedtocry.Hemusthavesensedhersympathybecausehisjawbeganthatclenchthatindicated

hewasstillpissed.

“It’s,um,areallyniceoffice.”

Hisgazewenttothepictureonthedesk,andshecursedherselfforwalkingaroundwithit.“I,um,just,

I was looking and this kind of fell into my hands.” She tried to back up a step from him and ended up

bumping into his desk, and then sitting on a stapler. She yelped and jumped up, only to crash into him.

Goodgrief.Thenshemadethemistakeofplacingherhandsonhishot,tightskin.Hewasstrong.Hewas

healthy.Ethanwasfine.

“Youshouldprobablygoshowerand,uh,I’lljust—”

“Notbenosy?”

Shefrowned.“Igetyou’remadatme,butIwasn’tnosy,Iwasconcernedforyou.”

“Really?”

She nodded, not getting why he was still engaging her in conversation when it was clear he was so

royallypissedather.Shetriedtoconcentrateonhiseyesandnotthebodythatwasalmostnakedinfront

ofher.“Yes,you’reagoodfriend.”

“Ah,yes,becausewecanneverbeanythingmore.”

“Ididn’tsaythat.”

“Really,’causeIthoughtyousaidthat.Onatleastthreedifferentoccasions.”

“WhydoIgetthefeelingyou’resettingmeuphere?”

“Whatdoyoumean?”

“Youdon’twantanythingtodowithme.Ifyoudid,youwouldn’tbestandingherebeingallscary,”she

said,wavingherhandaround.

Heranhishandsdownhisface,movingawayfromher.“Justdomeafavorandgetout,okay?”

Shewincedatthecarefullycontrolledrageinhisdeepvoiceandnoddedrepeatedly,walkingacross

theroom.Shestoppedatthedoorwayandturnedaroundtolookathim.Hisheadwasdownturned,staring

at his desk calendar. His broad shoulders looked stiff, the muscles in his arms taut. She should say

something, anything to lighten the mood. Or apologize. “I’m sorry,” she said. And then waited. But

painfully awkward seconds went by and he said nothing, so she left the room, closing the door quietly

behindher.

Shehadblownit,hadcompletelyinvadedhisprivacy.Theyprobablynevershouldhavestayedwith

him.Itwastimeforthemtoleave.Thiswasthesecondblowoftheday,Ethanshuttingherdown,making

itclearthattheywerenothingmorethancasualfriends.Shecouldn’tevenfaulthim,butshecouldleave.

e was the worst kind of asshole. He was the kind that made no sense. He wanted Allie—had

wantedherforyears—andthenhe’dtreatedherlikeshit.Buthecouldn’tdeal.Hecouldnotdeal

withtheideaofsharinghispast.Heheardpeopleinrealrelationshipsdidthatkindofthing.Alliewould

expectthatkindofthing.Thelookinhereyesreplayedinhismindallafternoon.Shehadbeenallsoftand

compassionate,andmaybeatonetimeinhislifehewouldhavewelcomedthat,butnotnow.Butwhere

thehelldidthatleavethem?Thingswereabouttogetworse,too,becauseheknewhewasgoingtocancel

ontonight’splanswithher.

Rightnowhe’ddrownhisissuesinscotchwithhisfriends.Theyweresittinginaboothinoneofthe

city’srestaurants.Hehadn’tbeentherebefore,butthey’ddecidedtomeettherebecauseitwasbesidethe

hotel Hayden was staying in. Dark, leather booths lined the perimeter. The lighting was dim, the music

was soft, but the people were loud. White Christmas lights were strung across the front windows and

large,darkgreen,squarewreathswerehungthroughout.Alliewouldhavelovedit.

“So,youwantacondoproposallikeyesterday?”

Ethantriedtosmileathisoldfriend,HaydenBrooks,buthewasgoingthroughthemotions.Hewas

happy to catch up with his old university buddy, but he couldn’t go through with this project without

destroying Allie. Yeah, he wanted to beat his brother, but now there was the problem of Allie and her

shelter.Hewasadamnliar.Promisingherthathe’dhelphersaveitandthengoingbehindherbacktobid

ontheproperty.“Wedon’townityet.Ineedaconceptualprojecttopresenttomyfather.I’mgoingup

againstmybrother.”

Hayden smiled and then signaled the waitress for a refill of his scotch. “Nothing like strong familial

bonds.”

“Yeah.Shacklesismorelikeit.”

“Okay,well,Ialreadyhavethedetailsyousentover.I’llgetateamonthisrightaway.Doyouhavea

vision?”

“No,”hesaidflatly.TheonlyvisionhehadwasofAllie,tellinghimhewasanasshole.

“IhatetoaskpersonalquestionswhenI’dreallyratherbetalkingaboutbusiness,butyoudon’texactly

soundlikeyou’reexcitedaboutthispossibleacquisition.”

He leaned back in his chair, absently watching as the waitress brought his friend another drink. “I’m

not. The circumstances changed, and now the last thing I want is to buy this land and build the damn

condo.”

Haydenleanedforward,loweringhisvoiceintheloudrestaurant.“Why?”

Hescrubbedahanddownhisface.“There’sashelterforteensinthererightnow.Thelandlordwants

tosellout,knowinghe’dmakeahelluvalotmoretoselltoabuilderinsteadofcollectingrentfromthem.

Ifeel…”

“Likeanasswipeforevictingkidsoutofashelter?”

Ethanfrowned.Hedidn’trememberHaydenbeingthisirritating.“Yeah,somethinglikethat.Whenare

yougoingbacktoVancouver?”

Hisfriendlaughed,exceptitsoundedforced.That’swhenhenoticedtheguyhaddarkcirclesunderhis

eyes,andhedidn’tlooklikehisusualkick-assself.Helooked…stressedoutorsomething.“Idon’tknow.

RightnowI’mupshitcreek,actually.”

Ethanmotionedtothewaitressforarefill.“What’swrong?”

Hayden let out a groan and then rubbed the back of his neck. “You’re not going to believe it, but I

hookedupwithsomerandomwomanonenight.ItwasstupidandnotsomethingI’minthehabit—”

“Youdon’tneedtojustifyit.”

“Ican’tbelievewhatanidiotIwas.Anyway,acoupleofmonthsagosheappearsonmydoorstep,out

oftheblue.Ididn’tevenrecognizeher,outofsightoutofmind,youknow—itwasyearsago.Anyway,

shesaysIgotherpregnant.”

Ethantriedhisbestnottochokeonhisglassofscotch.Hedidn’tsayanythingashisfriendsatthere

lookinglikehisentireworldwascrashingdownaroundhim.Heguesseditprobablywas.Maybehe’dbe

lookingasshittyasHaydeninafewweeksifhedidn’tfindawayoutofthismessandAlliefoundout

whathe’dbeenupto.

“Andwhathappened?”

Haydenrubbedhiseyesocketswiththebackofhishands.Jeez,thisguywasinbadshape.“Shesaid

shegavethebabyupforadoption.”

“Shit.”

“Yeah,andthenshetriedtoblackmailme.”

“Whatthehell?”

“The thought that I have a kid somewhere who thinks they have no parent, or no parent that wants

them…shit…” Hayden choked for a moment then downed the rest of his scotch. Hell. He didn’t know

whattosaysoheorderedthemanotherround.

“Whatareyougoingtodo?”

“That’swhyI’minToronto.I’vebeenworkingwithaPIwho’strackedherdowntosomelittletown

calledStillHarbor.”

“Idon’tknowwhattosay,man.I’msorry.”

“Yeah.It…thebaby…well,kidnow,isalittlegirl.Imighthavealittlegirloutthere.”

“Whendoyougo?”

Haydenclampedhishandsaroundhisemptyglass,staringattheice.“Tomorrow.”

“Well…goodluck.”

Hayden shrugged his shoulders, slammed his glass down a little hard, and then looked up at him, his

featureslookingmorenormal.“Thanks,butnevermindallthat,we’llgetthisproposaldoneforyou.My

teamisonit.”Heglanceddownathiswatch.“Isn’tJacksonsupposedtobehere?”

“Speak of the devil,” Ethan said, just as Jackson joined them. He slid into the booth beside Hayden.

Afterthey’dexchangedtheappropriatebackslapsandgreetings,theylookedoverthemenu.

“Hell,Jackson,whydoyoulooksohappy?”

Jacksongaveoneofthoseirritatinggrinshe’dseemedtosporteversincegettingmarried.“BecauseI

amhappy.”

“ThisisafarcryfromthejerkIrememberfromuniversity.”

Ethanthrewbackhisheadandlaughed.

“That’s funny, very funny. So why do you look like hell?” Jackson said, obviously just noticing how

crappytheirfriendlooked.

Hayden’sfacefell.“Ican’ttalkaboutitagain.”

Ethanfilledhimin.“Somerandomchickhadhisbaby,putitupforadoption,andisnowblackmailing

him.”

Jacksongavealowwhistle.“Hell.”

“Thanks.I’mlivingitrightnow.”

“Andwhat’supwithyou?Ileavetownfortwoweeksandsuddenlyyoulooklikethegrimreaper?”

Ethanscowledathisfriend.“Whyareyouevenintown?”

“We’releavingagaininthemorning.Emhasanearinfection,andIdidn’ttrustthosecountrydoctors,

sowedecidedtobringherintothecity.”

“Shefeelingbetter?”

Jacksonnodded.“AreAllieandhersisterdrivingyouinsane?”

Yes.Theywere.Excepthelikedtheinsanity.HelikedhavingAllieinhishouse…andDani…andeven

Hook.ButwhathelikedevenmorewashowclosehewastoAllienow.Well,was.Beforeheshuther

down.

“OrisitHook,ishedrivingyounuts?Charliedoesn’tlikeHook.”

HaydenscowledatJackson.“Hell,man.Areyouactuallydiscussingtwodogs?”

Thank God Hayden wasn’t married and could relate to the insanity that was now his best friend. He

wasabouttoagreewhenhecaughtsightofahideousfigureroundingthecornerandwalkingtowardtheir

booth.“Shit,”hesaidunderhisbreath,“mybrotherishere.”Seriously,acityofmillionsandhehadto

runintohim?

Carsonpulleduptotheirtablelikeaslimysalesman.“Hello,gentlemen.”

Hisfriendstriedtogivehisbrotheracivilwelcome.“Carson.”

“Ethan,I’msurprisedtoseeyououttonight.”

Ethanletoutaraggedsigh.Hedidn’thavetimeforthistonight.HetookJackson’sfullglassofscotch

andtookalongdrink.Hisfrienddidn’tevencomplain.“Whyareyousurprised?”

“Well,it’sjustthatMomwastalkingtheotherday—”

“Idon’tthinkJacksonandHaydenwanttohearaboutourfamilybusiness.”

“Speaking of family business, how’s that proposal coming along? Dad was asking about it the other

day.”

“Can’t wait to do the presentation,” Hayden interjected. He gave Carson one of his infamous, nasty

smilesthathadtheabilitytosendchillsdownaperson’sspine.“Howdoyoulikethehotel?”

Ethanpaused,hisglassonhiswaytohislips,watchingCarsonsquirm.

“Whatareyoutalkingabout?”

“IcouldhaveswornIsawyoucheckinginjustasIwasleaving.”

God,helovedhisfriends.

Hisbrother’ssmiledippedanotch.“Right.Well,goodtoseeyou.”

“Ithinkyourwife’sleavingwithanotherguy,”Jacksonsaid,tiltinghisheadinthedirectionofthedoor.

His brother ran off, and the three of them laughed. His phone beeped, and he glanced at the text

message.Runninglate.Waitforme.Ethancursedandlookedupathisfriends.

“LookslikeNickisrunninglate.Settlein.”

TheymotionedtothebartenderandEthanknewhehadtocallAllie,ifshe’devenpickupthephone.

Hehadtocancelonher.

ChapterSix

thanenteredhiscondo,notreallyknowingwhattoexpect.Hookcamerunninguptohim;atleastthe

dogstilllikedhim.Itwasn’tthedoghewasworriedabout,though.

Hehunghiscoatupandloosenedhistie,noticingwithafrownhowquietitwasintheplace.HadAllie

finishedwrappingeverythingalready?AndusuallyDanimadearacket.Hewalkeddownthehallwayand

stopped. He’d been planning on going into the living room, but a trail of wrapping paper led down his

corridor.

Hefolloweditandstoppedatthethresholdofhisbedroomdoor.Thiswasasighthehadn’texpected:

Alliewassprawledoutonhisbed,sortoflikeastarfish.Shewassurroundedbygiftwrapandribbons.

Andwasn’theanass?Hewassupposedtohelpherwrapallthepresentsforthekids,butinsteadhewas

plottingtogetridofherbelovedshelterandobtainhisfather’scompany.

She gave a little moan and turned on her back, crinkling Grinch gift wrap with the movement.

Amazingly,guiltdidn’tpreventhimfromadmiringthewomaninhisbed,theonlywomanhe’dwantedin

hisbedinalong,longtime.Herhairwasallsplayedacrosshispillowandafewstrandsonherface.Her

baggyreindeerbottomshidwhatheknewtobeanexceptionalpairoflegs,buthertanktoprevealedfull

breastsandaflatstomach.Heranhishandsthroughhishair.Heshouldleavetheroom,hisroom,which

madehimwonderwhatshewasdoinginhereanyway,notthathewascomplaining.

Hisgazewenttohisnightstand—therewasabottleofrumandacartonoforganiceggnog.Hesmiled,

andthenfeltguiltyagain.Heshouldhavebeenwithher.Sheshouldn’thavebeenwrappingpresentsand

drinkingspikedeggnogbyherself.

Hesatonthebedbesideher.Heprobablyshouldhavetriedtowakeherandapologize,butinsteadhe

enjoyed looking at her for a moment. He’d always had an idea of the kind of person Allie was, had

alwaysbeenattractedtoher.Butlivingwithherandreallyknowingheronlymadehimwanthermoreand

wanttoknoweverylittlethingabouther.

Helaydownbesideher,movingaclumpofhairoffherface.“Allie,it’sEthan.”

Shefrownedbutdidn’topenhereyes.Shewasprobablystillpissedathim.

“I’msorry,Allie.”Oneeyeopened,lookedathim,andthenshutagain.Hesmiled.“Allie,aboutwhat

happenedearlier…”

She waved a hand but ended up whacking him in the face. That got her attention, and she propped

herselfuponherelbows,hershirtstretchingtautlyoverherbreasts,whichhappenedtolookasthough

theywouldspilloutofherbraatanymoment.God.Thatwashispunishmentforthecondo.“Sorry,”she

whispered,hervoicehuskyandherwordsslurred.Great.Notthecombinationhewaslookingfor.

“I’mtheonewhoneedstoapologize.I’mnotusedtosharing.”

“It’sokay,youwon’thavetoanymore,”shesaidinsomesortofsexy-yet-inebriatedslur.

“Whatdoyoumean?”

“I think we’ll crash at Jackson and Hannah’s for a week, and by then I’ll be able to find us a new

apartment.”

Hisgutturned,andhelookedattheonlywomanhe’dtrulywantedandfeltlikeshit.Hewasdrivingher

out.“Allie—”

She did the arm wave again, and this time he ducked in time. “No, no, I totally imposed. It’s okay, I

makeitapolicytoalwayshaveaplanB.Seriously,whatwasIthinking?Me,ateenager,andadisabled

dog.”

“Ilovehavingyouguyshere.”Sheshookherhead,andforasecondhethoughthesawtears.Hellno,

he was going to make her cry? “Allie, sweetheart, trust me, you don’t want to stay with Jackson and

Hannah.Theyhavekids.Youknowwhatpeoplewithkidsarelike.Theygotobedearly,theirkidswake

upinthemiddleofthenightwithrunnynosesandearinfections,andtheyinvitepeopleoverforbrunch

insteadofdinner.”

Thatearnedhimanadorablehalf-smile.“You’reverycharming.HaveIevertoldyouthat?”sheasked

in that throaty voice. Her arm went up and for a second it looked as though she was going to touch his

face.

Hestilled.“Howmuchdidyouhavetodrink?”

“Iusedameasuringcup.I’mnotusuallyadrinker,soitdoesn’ttakemuch.ButI’mtotallynotdrunkor

anything. That being said, I’m finding myself desperately needing to touch your face, Ethan,” she

whispered.Hesatthereasherarmwavedslightlybutthenfounditswaytohisface.Herhandclutched

hischeek.Hehelditthere,becausehewasn’tsureshe’dbeabletoholdon,andhewassurehedidn’t

wanthertoletgo.Butbeforehedidwhathe’dwantedtothemomenthemether,heneededtoknowjust

howdrunkshewas.“Also,IneedtotellyouthatIthinkyou’rereallyhotinthisget-up.”

“Mysuit?”

Shebobbedherheadupanddownagainstthepillow.“ButIthinkIreallylikeWeekendEthanbest.”

“Who?”

“WeekendEthan.That’swhenyou’reallscruffy.”Shepattedhisface.“AndsodelectableIcouldjust

lickyou.”

He groaned; she couldn’t be that drunk. He leaned down, bracing his forearms beside her head. Her

pupilsdilated,andherhandstayedonhisface.Hisgazewentfromhereyestohermouth,andhecouldn’t

believehe’dwaitedthislongtofinallykissAllie.Heloweredhismouthtohers,butshestartedspeaking

again.

“ButthentodayyougotallAbominableonme—”

He kissed her temple, trying to follow the conversation, but needing to make contact with her.

“Abominable?”hemurmured,placingakissbeneathherearlobe,smilingasshesighed.

“Yeah,asintheAbominableSnowmaninRudolph.TheoriginalRankin/BassRudolph.”

He kissed his way back to her mouth. “I acknowledge no other Rudolph, and I was not like the

AbominableSnowman.Myeyesaren’tgoogly,andI’mnotthathairy.”

Shelaughedandthenplacedherhandsatthenapeofhisneck.Heshiftedonthebedandslidbetween

herlegs.

“I’msorryabouttoday,Allie,”hewhispered,lookinginhereyesagain,searchingforthetruthofwhat

she saw in him. He didn’t want to see pity or compassion. He couldn’t handle it from Allie. He only

wantedtoseelusttonight.

Sheplacedherhandontherightsideofhischest.“Youhaveagoodheart,Icanfeelit.You’reoneof

thegoodguys,andI’msosorryfornottrustingyouorseeingthatearlier.Youtookusin,andyou’retrying

tohelpmesavetheshelter.”

Hewouldhavelaughedwhenmovingherhandtotheleftsideofhischest,butinsteadguiltrailroaded

him. She was looking at him the way he’d always imagined, except she was seeing someone entirely

different.Shewasseeingasham.

“And the reason I came in here tonight was because after I was done feeling sorry for myself—rum

helpswiththat,bytheway—IthoughtI’dseduceyou.”

Hestoppedbreathingforamoment.Thiswaswhathe’dalwayswanted.Allie.Inhislife.Inhisbed.

Hebattledwithhisconscienceforamoment.Shetrustedhim.Theshelter.Heshouldgetupandwalkout

ofthisroom.Butagain,becausehewasprettycertainthiswomanhadsetouttotorturehim,shebegan

speaking.“Ethan,I’vewantedyousincethenightofJacksonandHannah’swedding.I’vewantedyou,and

Iwastooafraidtoevertakeachancewithsomeonelikeyou.”

Hell.Hewasgoingtohell,buthe’dworryaboutthatlater.Therewasnowayhecouldwalkawayfrom

this,fromher.Hewasgoingtokissher,exceptshestartedtalkingagain.

“Also.YoushouldknowI’mnotupsetaboutwhathappenedinyourofficetoday.”

“You should be. I was an ass,” he said, dipping his head and kissing her neck. He couldn’t keep his

handsoffher.

“No, I get it. You have secrets. I have secrets, too,” she whispered. The tone of her voice made him

raisehishead.Hereyeswereglisteningwithsomethinghedidn’tget.Heplacedhishandsoneitherside

ofherface,suddenlywantingtoknoweverything.Hewishedheweredifferent.Hewishedhecouldlet

herinandbethemanshedeservedtohave.

“Youknowyoucantellmeanything.”

Shegaveherheadaslightshake.“Itgoesbothways.”

Henodded,notsatisfiedwiththatsolution,butknowingitwasalltheyhadrightnow.

“But that doesn’t mean we can’t have this,” she said as she tugged him down. He leaned down and

kissedAlliethewayhe’dwantedtosincethemomenthemether.

Her hands tightened around his hair, and she moaned sweetly, music to his ears. He could feel her

breasts,hercurvybodyunderhis,andshewasbetter,hotterthanhe’dimagined.Hetastedher,explored

hermouthuntilneitherofthemcouldbreathe.“Ineedtoknowhowdrunkyouare,Allie,”hesaidagainst

herlips.Therewasnowaythiscouldgoanyfurtherifshewasn’tgoingtorememberinthemorning.She

pulledbackslightlybutdidn’tletgoofhim.

“Sonotdrunk.”

Hekissedheragainandprayedshe’danswercorrectly.“Whatdayoftheweekisit?”

Shefrownedupathim.“Christmas?”

Hegroaned.“Allie,pleasetellmeyou’rejoking.”Herestedhisforeheadagainsthersforasecond.He

feltherhandsslidingoffhim.Heliftedhishead.She’dpassedout.

llie’sphonestartedvibratingonthenightstand.

Slowlydisengaginghimselffromthehottestwomanhe’deverknownandtryingnottoweep,he

spottedDani’s face onthe display ofAllie’s phone. He pickedit up, frowning.It was almost midnight,

whywasshecalling?Wasn’tshehome?

Heansweredthephoneasquietlyashecouldandgotupfromthebed.

“OhmyGod,Ethan,thankGodit’syou,”shesaid.Hefrownedatthepanicandtearsheheardinher

voice.HequicklycoveredAlliewithpartoftheduvetandlefttheroom.

Heshutthebedroomdoorandwalkedtothefrontentrance.“Whereareyou?”

“Allie’sgoingtokillme,promisemeyouwon’ttell.”

“Tellmewhereyouare,andI’llcomeandgetyou.”

Therewasahugesighandthenalongpause.Thenshenamedasuburbofthecity.Notthenicestarea

byanystretch.

Hisstomachtightened.“Howthehelldidyougetthere?”

“Withthisguy.Weweresupposedtogothisparty,andhedroveusouthere,butit’sinthesticksand

there’snosubwayortransit.Ihavenowaybacktothecity,andthispartyiscreepingmeout.”

“GivemeanaddressandI’llcomeandgetyou.”Hewasn’tgoingtoberateherforherutterstupidity

andrecklessnessuntilhehadhersafelyinhiscar.Hecouldsubjecthertoahalfhourlectureinthecar

ride home, after he knew she was safe. He scribbled down the address she gave while he put on his

shoes.Teenagers.HowdidAlliedealwiththis?Hewalkedoutthedoorwhileinstructinghertostayon

thephonewithhim.

“It’snotthatbad.”

“Doyouknowanyonethere?”

“No,”shesaidinasmallvoice.

“Where’sthedouchebagthatbroughtyouthere?”

“Idon’tknow.”Hervoicewaslosingitsbravado,andshewassoundingmoreandmorevulnerableby

theminute.

“Allright,well,babbleaboutsomethingwhileIgetintothecar.Justdon’thangupthephone,hon.I’m

onmyway.”HepunchedtheaddressintohisGPSandtookthequickestwaytothehighway.

He mentally rehearsed the lecture he was about to give, while Dani blabbed about how stupid her

friendswere.Andtheneveryfewminutesshe’dbeghimnottotellAllie.

“’Kay,Dani,I’minyourneighborhood.Gowaitontheporchanddon’ttalktoanyoneorwanderoff

intosomedarkalleyorsomething.”

“AsifI’ddothat.I’mnotacompletemoron.Ethan,isthatyoudrivingdownthestreet?”

“Iseeyou.I’mhangingup.”HewasshockedbytheferocityofthereliefthatbarreledintohimasDani

wavedfranticallyfromthestreetcurb.Hepulledthecaruptoherandleanedovertoopenthedoor.

Shesankintotheseatandthrewherarmsaroundhim.“I’msohappytoseeyou.Thankyou,Ethan.”She

heldontohim,andhefeltthetremorsthatranthroughher.Shepulledawayandbuckledherselfin.She

lookedyoungandscaredasshewrappedherarmsaroundherself,shivering.Heturnedtheheatonhigh,

pulledawayfromthecurb,anddecidedhislecturecouldwaitabit.

Heglancedoveratheroncetheywereonthehighway.Shehadn’tsaidaword,whichwasprobablya

recordforher.

“You’renotgoingtotellAllie,right?”

He didn’t know how he was going to handle that. He didn’t feel right about not telling Allie about

somethingthathappenedtoDani.Shewasn’thiskid.Hecouldn’tkeepsomethinglikethatfromher.“Why

don’tyoutellmeexactlywhathappenedtonight?”

Shegroanedandshuthereyes.“That’sadultevasion,isn’tit?You’regoingtotellher.”

“IfIwereyou,I’dstopworryingaboutthatandjustbehappyyouaren’tstillatthatrat-hole.”

“Fine.You’reright.SothisguyIhavelikedforever,andwhonevernoticedmebefore,askedmeout.”

“Sowhydidhenoticeyounow?”

“Because I look so much better with all the cool stuff I bought. He may have overheard me bragging

aboutwherewelivenow…andmaybeaboutyourPorsche.”

“Soundslikeawinner.Whywouldyouevenwanttogooutwithaguylikethat?”

“Youwouldn’tunderstand.You’renotagirl.”

“Allie’sagirl.Whydon’tweaskher?”

“That’snotfunny.Besides,shenevermakesmistakes,andshethinksIshouldbeperfectlikeher.”

“Idon’tthinkso.I’veneverheardhersaythat.AllIseeisawomaninhertwentieswhodoesn’tmakea

lotofmoney,tookinheryoungersister,putsupwithallhersmart-assremarks,andpaysforwhatevershe

needs.”

Thesniffleshehearddidn’tmakehimfeelbad.Hekepthiseyesontheroad,histhoughtsonAllie,who

wastryingtodoeverythingright.

“You’reright.”

Heshotheraside-glance.Shewassittinghunchedover,armscrossed,poutonherface.

“Andit’sevenworse,whatIdid.”

Hishandsclenchedtheleathersteeringwheelandbracedhimself.“Whatelsedidyoudo?”

Shegroanedandslouchedfartherintotheseat.Hewonderedifshewouldslinkrightoffthedamnseat.

“Igotreallymadatheratourmom’splace.”

Hisstomachdipped.Hedidn’tknowmuchabouttheirmotherexceptwhathereadbetweenthelines.

“Youwenttoseeyourmother?”

“Shedraggedmethere.ShehadallthesepresentsforherandsaiditwasChristmasandweshouldat

leasttryandforgiveandmakepeace.Orwhatever.”

Heturnedonthewipersasthesnowincreased.“Sowhathappened?”

“ExactlywhatIknewwouldhappen.Ourmomdidn’tevenhaveaChristmascardforus—andshe’sa

hoarder.Like,what’sthepointofbeingahoarderifyoudon’tevenhavethingswhenyouneedthem?Oh,

butshedidgivemesomeratty,randombagofChristmasM&Ms,andthere’sAlliegivingherpresents.

Andtheworstpart?OurmomaskedherforfivehundredbucksbecauseBilltheBumpkinspentalltheir

cashatthecasino.”

Ethansworeunderhisbreath.Thiswasallcompletelynewtohim.

“ThatwasexactlywhatIthought.”

“DidAlliegiveherthemoney?”

“Yup!Ofcourse!BecauseAlliefeelssorryforherorsomething.”

Heletoutalongbreath.

“SonowAllieoweslikehalfthetownmoney.You.Thebank.”

He clenched his hand around the leather of the steering wheel feeling like such an ass, along with

feelinghorribleforher.“Alliedoesn’towememoney.”

“CanIgetthatinwriting,becauseshemadesomespreadsheetwitharepaymentplan.”

Asmiletuggedatthecornerofhismouth.Hehadtorespectthat,eventhoughhewouldn’tacceptadime

fromher.“Sure.Listen,I’msorry.Thatreallysucksaboutyourmom.I’mnotthatclosetomyparentssoI

getfeeling…disappointed.”

“Itwasn’tthat.That’snotwhatI’mso…sadabout.”

“Thenwhat?”

She put her hands on her face. He awkwardly patted her on the head for a second. “I’m not Hook,

Ethan.”

“Well,thenspeak.”

“Iyelledather.”

“Yourmom?”

“No,”shewhisperedinthislittlevoicethatcaught.Hebracedhimselfforwhatevershewasgoingto

say as well as the onslaught of tears. “I yelled at Allie in front of our mom. I called her weak and

spinelessandtoldherIhadnorespectforher.”

Oh,man.Hebarelyunderstoodthefemalemind,buttheteenagefemalemindwasevenmoredaunting.

He cleared his throat and patted her on the head again until she swatted his hand away. “Did you

apologize?”

Sheshookherhead.

“Soyouyelledatyoursisterwhotookyouin,andprovidesyouwithahome,food,andclothes.Then

yourefusedtohelpherwrapgiftsforabunchofhomelesskidsandsnuckoutwithaguywhosheforbid

youtosee.”

“Itgetsworse.”

Heresistedtheurgetoswearoutloud.“How?”

Sheslumpedherheadagainstthewindowandsniffled.“Allienevertellsmestuff.Shealwaystriesto

pretend that everything’s fine and under control, even when our apartment burned down. It’s like she

doesn’twantmetoworry.Butthen,afterIyelledather…shetriedtellingmestuff,likewhyshewould

giveourmommoney.Itwasbad.Shestartedsayingsomethinglikesheowedourmom,becausetherewas

atimeourmomrescuedher.”Shestoppedspeakingabruptlyandgroaned.

Hecouldn’tdealwiththedread.“Comeon,whatelse?”

“Shestartedsayingsomethingaboutthisguycomingintoherroomatnight.”

Thistimehedidswear,immediatelythinkingaboutAllielyinginhisbed,lookingupathim,tellinghim

thatshehadsecrets,too.God,thisbetternotbewhatitwassoundinglike.

“Iknow,it’ssobadandIfeelsobadforher,butImadeitworsebecauseIdidn’tlethertellme.Iacted

likeababyandcoveredmyearsandranaway.Allienevertellsmethings.Shedoeseverythingonher

own,solveseveryproblemonherown,shesolvesotherpeople’sproblems,butnooneeverhelpsher.

TheonetimeshetrustsmeandItotallybailed.”

Ethan absently tried patting Dani’s head again, but she swatted him away. He was too busy trying to

processwhatshe’dtoldhim.Alliewasthiswomanwhohadeverythingtogetherontheoutside,butinside

shewasstilldealingwithbaggageandpainfromherpast.Shetrustedhim.Hehadfailedher.Todayinhis

office. Tonight with the presents. Not to mention the shelter. When the hell had everything become so

damncomplicated?

“Well,aren’tyougoingtosayanything?”Daniscreeched.HetriedtoconcentrateonDaniwhilestill

processingwhatshe’drevealedaboutAllie.

“It’snotyourfaultyoucouldn’tdealwithwhatshesaid.”

“Ofcourseitis.”

“I’msureshedoesn’tblameyou.Justtrynottobesoselfishallthetime.”

“Areyoutryingtomakemepitchmyselffromthisrapidlymovingvehicle?”

“No, I’m trying to make sure you feel guilty enough so you get your head out of your ass and start

showingAllietherespectshedeserves.Andyourself.It’stimeyoustartedappreciatingthelifeyouhave

andmakingitthebestofwhatyouget.”

She didn’t say anything for a few minutes, then she leaned forward and tuned the radio to some

Christmas carols. “You’re right, and I was thinking I should get a job. I know Allie keeps telling me I

shouldconcentrateonschoolsoIcangetascholarship—andIdo—ItotallydoandIhavegoodgrades,

butIshoulddomore.”

He resisted the urge to grin. “Good. So when we get back you’re going to show me how to wrap

presents.”

“What?”

“YouandIhavetowrapthegiftsforthekidsattheshelter.”

“IthoughtAlliewasgoingtodothat.”

The image of Allie passed out on his bed with eggnog and rum popped into his head. “We both

promisedherwe’dhelped,andwedidn’t.Webothbailed.Sonowwefinish.”

“She’snotdone?”

“She…fellasleep.Withrumandeggnog.”

“Alliedoesn’tdrink.”

Heglancedoverather.“Really?”

She nodded. “Yeah, because our mom…drinks too much. I’ve seen Allie drink maybe a half glass of

winewhenfriendsareover,butneverbyherself.”

Ah,hell.Nowhefeltevenworse.Hewasn’tthereforheronabadday.Hehadmadeitworse.That

wasn’twhathewanted.Thatwasn’ttheguyhewantedtobe.HewantedAllieforreal.Hewantedtobe

thereforher,everyday.

lliewoketothesoundofmuffledcursing,thenthecrumplingofpaper,followedbymorecursing.

Sheslowlyopenedhereyesandsoughtoutthedisplayonthealarmclock,butitwasn’twhereit

was supposed to be. She frowned, realizing she wasn’t in her bed, or her room. She opened her eyes

abruptlyandwasgiftedwiththesightofEthan.Hemusthavebeengettingreadyforwork.Hishairwas

wet,andhewaspullingaredbowoffthebottomofhissockandholdingacoffeemugintheotherhand.

Thecursingresumedwhencoffeesloshedovertherimandontothecarpetashewalkedoverandplaced

thecuponthenightstandbesideher.

Herdroolingceasedimmediatelyassherealizedthatshe’dpassedoutinhisroomduetospikedeggnog

intoxication and self-pity when he hadn’t shown up last night. She cursed herself for being naive and

thinking he’d want to spend an evening with her wrapping presents. Of course he wouldn’t. This guy

couldbedoinganythingoranyoneintheentirecity.Whywouldhewanttospendanynightwrappinggifts

anddrinkingeggnog?Andwhatreallysuckedwasthatshenowhadtospendtheentiremorningwrapping

presents.Shetriedtoclosehereyesandpretendshewasstillsleepinguntilheleftforwork.Shecouldn’t

dealwithhimthismorning.

“Morning,Allie.”

Shekepthereyesshut.

“I’msorry about lastnight. I’m notsure how much youremember of ourconversation, but the dinner

meetingranlateandIcouldn’tgetoutofit.”

She opened one eye at the mention of a conversation. She racked her brain and she had some vague

recollection of him lying down beside her…and she’d hit him. She tried not to groan out loud at her

humiliation.Hewasleaningonthedresser,fullydressed,completelygorgeous.Hishairwasstilldamp,

slightlydisheveled,andshetriednottoimaginewhatitwouldbelikeifshecouldwalkuptohimand

kisshim.Maybeshe’dstraightenhisbluesilktie,holdontothelapelsofhissuitandlaugh,tossingher

hair back at some wonderful compliment he gave her. She’d be like a woman in the movies with the

handsome,successfulman.Shecaughtsightofherlegs.Reindeerflannel.

She tried to inconspicuously wipe the drool off the side of her mouth as she attempted a graceful

movementintoaseatedposition.Shetookamomenttosmoothhercrazyhairoffherfaceandmakesure

allpartsofherwerestillinsidehertanktop.Yes,she’dwornthegorgeouspinkpush-upbraandmatching

underwear, not that it had mattered. It really was the seduction ensemble of a chicken. The flannel had

been in case he turned her down—she wouldn’t have looked like she had intentionally been trying to

seduce him. The push-up bra and matching underwear had been in case something had happened. She

wavedahandandtriednottolookasthoughitwasabigdeal.Shehadnorecollectionofaconversation,

andthatwasslightlydisconcerting.Itcouldn’thavelastedverylongifshedidn’tevenrememberit.

“Idon’trememberyoucominghomeatall.”

“Oh,Iwashere,andyouwereveryawareofme.”

Hereyesnarrowedasshedetectedthetraceofhumorlacedthroughhisvoice.Shesatupandtookasip

ofperfectlybrewedcoffee.Hewascurrentlyrubbinghisjawandlookingatherlikehewantedtolaugh…

orinhaleherforbreakfast.Boththosethoughtsweremorethanalittlealarming.Hergazewanderedover

hisface,admiringhowgoodhelooked.

Hebracedhisarmsoneithersideofthedresser,leaningagainstitandlookingather.“Ijustfinished

shaving.”

“That’s great…” she said, her voice trailing. She felt like she was missing something this morning.

Maybe the jolt of caffeine would help her memory. She gulped some more of the hot coffee. “The last

thingIrememberwas…enjoyingsomeeggnog…thencominginheretohidefromHook,becausehegoes

crazywithwrappingpaper.”

“That’stheonlyreasonyouwereinhere?”

She hid her face in the mug of coffee, while trying to analyze whether or not she detected something

suspiciousinhistone.“Ofcourse.”

“Allie,I’msorryIbailedlastnight.”

“Noworries,Iknowyou’rebusy.Hannah’salwaystellingmehowbusyJacksonis.”ButJacksonnever

brokedinnerengagementswithhiswife,andifhesaidhe’dbesomewhere,healwayswas.Therewasa

look in Ethan’s brown eyes, like maybe he was thinking the same thing. Or maybe not. Maybe she was

crazy. She was Ethan’s friend. Obviously nothing close to a wife, nothing even close to someone truly

significantinhislife.

“Still,ItoldyouI’dbehereandIwasn’t.”

Hewalkedforwardslowly,andherheartincreasedrhythmwitheveryassuredstephetook.Shetriedto

smoothherhair,butitwassobadthatherhandgottangledinaknot.Acornerofhisperfectmouthtugged

inwhatshewoulddescribeasanaffectionatesmile.Affectionateseemedright,sortofthewayhelooked

atHookwhenhecouldn’tquitemakethejumptothecouch.Ethanwaslookingatherthewayhelookedat

herone-eyeddog.

“Andaboutyesterdayinmyoffice.I’msorry.Ioverreacted.”

Sheglancedawayfromhisintensestare.“That’sfine.Thankyou.Youdon’tneedtoapologize.Youtold

metostayoutofthoserooms,andIdidn’t.Iunderstandthatyouwereupsetbytheinvasionofprivacy.I

mean,youandIarejustfriends.Friendswhodon’tsharethingsabouttheirpersonallives.It’sforthebest

really.Youhavemyword,I’llnevergointoyourofficeagain.”

“Allie,”hegroaned.

“No, no. It’s really no biggie. I mean, it’s not like you let other people go in there, like Berta, your

cleaninglady.”

Herubbedhishandsoverhisface.“Bertadoesn’treadEnglish.”

“Well,regardless,Ienteredyoursecret,privatelair.”

Heletoutsomestrangledsortofnoise.“Youcangointhere.Wheneveryouwant.I’msorry.”

Nowshedidlookupathim.Helookedallbrooding,notthemischievousEthan.Thiswasthatother

sideofhimshewasgettingglimpsesof.Shetriedtomakeouthisexpression.“Butyoudon’twantmein

there.Oranyone.”

His broad shoulders rose and fell slightly. “I’m not used to having people around here. It wasn’t

personal.”

Shethoughtofthecalendar,thelittlegirl,the“D-Day.”Shestudiedhisface,theclosed-offexpression.

Whilethemanlookedlikeagorgeousfortressofsolitude,therewasahintofvulnerability.Shehadseen

thatlookonthetoughestofteenageboysthatcameintotheshelter.Therewassomekindofpainbeneath

thisfacadehewaswearing.No,shewouldn’taskhim,notnow,maybenotever.Whateverhewashiding,

heobviouslydidn’twanttoshareitwithher.

Sheforcedacheerysmileonherface.“Well,noworries.Iwon’tgointhereagain.Infact,we’renot

goingtobeabotheratall.I’msurewe’llbeoutofhereinaweek,tops.”

“You’llgoinsaneatJacksonandHannah’s.It’slikeadaycarecenterinthere.”

“Maybewe’llgotoourmom’s.”Notthattheywould,butsheneededtosaysomething.

“No you won’t,” he said with an edge to his voice. What was that all about? He didn’t know much

abouttheirmother.

“Well,thenmyfriend—”

“Atleaststayuntiltheholidaysareover.”

Whywashesayingthisstufftoher?Whywashesoimpossiblyputtogetherandperfect?Hehadeven

apologizedandactedlikehereallyregrettedeverythingfromthedaybefore.

“IwishIdidn’thavetogointotheoffice,”hesaid,hisvoicelowandthickwithsomethingotherthan

platonicaffection.Itstirredsomethinglowinherbelly.Sheclearedherthroatandattemptedconversation

asheloomedoverher,allcasual,handsinhispantspockets.Sayingthathedidn’twanttogototheoffice

impliedhewantedtobehere,withher.Andherdog.Andhercrazysister—

“OhmyGod,didDanicomehomelastnight?”Sheboltedoutofthebedandalmostfelloverthehems

of her too-long pajamas. Of course, Ethan’s large hands were immediately on her shoulders, steadying

her.

“Yeah.She’sfine.”

Alliebreathedasighofrelief.“Ican’tbelieveIdidn’twakeup.Iknewshewasmadatme.”

“She’snotanymore.”

Sherolledhereyes.“Ican’tkeepupwithhermoods…uh,sorryIhijackedyourbed.Wheredidyou

sleep?”Sheknewhecouldn’thavesleptwithher,becauseshehadbeensprawledacrossthemiddleof

thebed,onadiagonal,likesomesortofbeachedwhale.No,dolphin.Yes,dolphinwasmuchbetter.

Heshrugged.“Noworries.Ididn’tsleepmuchlastnight.Icaughtafewhoursonthecouch.”

“Oh.Iguessyouwereoutprettylate?”

Heshiftedhiseyesfromher.Shedidn’tknowifitwasfromguiltorfromthecrazypictureshemust

make.Shealsodidn’twanttoaskwhohewasoutwith.Eventhoughhesaiditwasforwork,didhego

outafter?“Yeah.Anyway,Allie,Igottagettowork.Ihopeyoudon’thavetoomuchofahangovertoday.”

Hetiltedhisheadtowardtheeggnogandrumbottlesonthenightstandandgaveheraslowgrin.

Sheclearedherthroat.“Ishouldbefine.Ithinktheeggnogdoesagoodjobofabsorbingthealcohol.

ButIneedtogetgoing,too.”

Hegaveheranodandlefttheroom.Asshewatchedhimleave,shewonderedhowandwhenthishad

happened.Thingshadneverbeenawkward.Conversationhadneverbeenstilted,withthepausesseeming

moreandmoreuncomfortable.Shewaiteduntilsheheardthefrontdoorcloseandthenranintothemain

room,readytotacklethegifts.Sheskiddedtoastop,herbarefeetsqueakingonthepolishedwoodfloor

atthesightinfrontofher—hersisterwaspassedoutonthesofainablanketofbowsandribbons.The

coffeetable,chairs,andcarpetwerefilledwithwrappedgifts.Shockmadeherstandthereafewmore

minutes.Danihaddoneallthis?Shewalkedforwardslowly,andHookranuptogreether.

“Hook,whathappenedherelastnight?AChristmasmiracle?”

Histailwagged.

She picked up a red ribbon and dangled it around her sister’s nose, tickling her with it. Dani gave a

theatricalmoanandthrewherhandacrossherforehead.“Yourrichboyfriendisaslavedriver.”

Shedroppedtheribbon.“What?”

Dani’seyesopenedandwentintoimmediatescowlmode.“Iboughtyouhotpajamassoyouwouldn’t

humiliateyourselfwithreindeer.NowonderEthanwon’tmakeamove.”

“Nevermindthat.Tellmewhatyoumeantaboutbeingaslavedriver.”

Sheswungherarmwideatthedirectionofthepresents.“Hewasguilt-riddenovernotgettinghomein

timesohemademespendthenighthelpinghimwrapthesepresents.”

Herheartsqueezeduntilshecouldn’tbreathe.“You’rekidding.”

“I wish I were kidding. And the man has never even wrapped his own presents. For a guy who’s

supposedtobesomesortofgenius,he’sarealidiot.Hecouldn’tfigureouthowtokeepthepaperfrom

wrinklingatthecorners.Thetutorialsessiontookoverhalfanhour.”

Allie’sgazewentfromhersistertothepileofgifts.“Itdid?”

Danistood,perchingherhandsonherhips.“Ethan’sanokayguy.Youshouldtryandnotscrewthings

up.” With those wise words her sister proceeded to exit the room but halted at the door. “Oh, and I’m

sorryaboutwhatIsaidtoyoulastnight.”Shelookeddownatherfeet.“AndI’msorryaboutwhatIsaid

toyouatMom’s.Iwaspissed,andIdidn’tmeanit…andI’msorryIactedlikeababy.Ifyouwanttoever,

um,talktome,Itotallywanttobethereforyou.Ireally…loveyou.”

Allie’sjawdroppedopen,butbeforeshecouldrunacrosstheroomtohughersister,Danihadalready

left.

ChapterSeven

llie hung around the front desk chatting with Denise and pretending that she wasn’t nervous. Or

anxious.Orexcited.AllbecauseEthanwouldbearrivingatanymomenttopickherupandgotree

hunting.Allshehadthoughtaboutthatdaywashowhewasturningouttobethisreallycomplexguyshe

couldn’tfigureout.Hewasn’twhoshethoughthewas.Rich,handsome,playboyEthanshecouldeasily

dismiss. Gorgeous Ethan with more layers than a decadent chocolate cake was no longer dismissible,

especiallysinceshe’dstartedhavingflashbacksofEthankissingherinhisbedlastnight.Obviouslythat

hadn’thappened,becausehewouldhavesaidsomething.Right?

She spotted Ethan’s SUV as he parked in front of their building. Ethan had obviously gone home to

change. He was wearing worn-in jeans that hugged his lean hips and hung a little low, enough that the

navyHenleyheworeunderhisunbuttonedjacketclungtohisflatabsandmadehimlooklikeaposterboy

for going to the gym. She knew he took his health seriously. He worked out at home every morning.

SaturdaymorningsheranoutsidewitharattyoldTorontoBlueJaysbaseballcapandanunshavenface.

She found him extra scrumptious on Saturdays and Sundays because he didn’t shave. Not that it should

mattertoher.Sheadored“WeekendEthan,”whichwashowshethoughtofhim.

“OhmyGod,whoisthatandwhyishewalkinginhere?”

Alliesmiledasshebuttoneduphercoat.Denisewashalf-standingbehindthedeskandwatchingEthan

throughthelargefrontwindow.“That’smyfriendEthanwhotookDaniandmeinafterthefire.”

“You’rejoking,”Denisesaid,leaningoverthedesk.“Whydidn’tIknowyouhaveafriendlikethat?”

“Andwhatwouldyouhavedonewiththeknowledge?”

“Iwouldhavedressedalittlenicer.Maybebrushmyhair,putonmakeup,wearpantsthatdon’thavean

elasticwaistband.”

Allielaughedandpausedforamoment,watchinghimthroughthewindow,too.Hewasonhisphone,

scowlingatthemoment.Evenwithascowlthemanwasbeautiful.

“Pleasetellmethere’ssomethinggoingonwithyoutwo.”

Allie pulled on her tuque, suddenly wondering about her hat choice today. “Nothing. We’re just

friends.”

Denisegroaned.“C’mon,Allie.He’sperfect.”

She leaned against the desk, feeling overheated, knowing it wasn’t because of her coat. “You don’t

knowanythingabouthim.He’snotreallythekindofguytosettledown.”

“Thatcanbechangedwiththerightwoman.What’shedoinghere?”

“We’regoingtogetarealtreeforthepartytonight.”

Denisegaveheraslowsmileandleanedbackinherswivelchair.“Yoursuggestion?”

“His.”

Denise’ssmilegrewwider.

“And…he’stheguywho’sgoingtoseeifhecanhelpsavethisplace…somehow.”

Denise’scoffeesloshedoverhermug.“Him?Hecandothat?Hehasthatkindofpower?”

“Okay,relax.Firstoff,there’sprobablynothinghecando.I’msurehe’sgoingtomakeafewcallsand

that’saboutit,whichisveryniceofhim,butI’mnotholdingouthope.Hecan’tstopthelandlordfrom

sellingthisplace,orstopzoningfromallowingcondostogohere.”

Deniselookedoutthewindowagain.“Lookatthatpower,thewayhe’syellingatwhoeverhe’stalking

to.Thatisamanwhocanmakechangehappen.”

“NomoredaytimeTVforyou.Quiet,he’swalkingin,”AlliewhisperedasEthanturnedtowalkinside.

Heopenedthedoorandsteppedintotheentryway,smilingwhenhesawher.Itwasasmilethatevenshe

couldn’tdenywasprettyheart-stopping.

“Hey,Allie.”

“Hi.Ethan,thisismyfriendandthewomanwhorunsthiswholeplace,Denise.”

Allie tried not to laugh as Denise stood and knocked over her mug of coffee as she tried to shake

Ethan’shand.Charmerthatthemanwas,heinstantlywentovertohelpher.

Fiveminuteslatertheywereexitingtheshelterandmakingtheirwayoutside.Shewantedtostophim

andthankhimforlastnight,butsheknewDenisewasspyingonthem.Ethanwasalsoactingslightlyshut

off. Maybe he didn’t have time for this, or maybe it had occurred to him how much he’d been wasting

sinceshehadcomebargingintohislife.Andreally,itwastrue.

Since she and Dani railroaded him, he’d had to dish out lots of money, they had taken over his

apartment, her ill-trained dog insisted on sprawling himself out wherever, and now he was doing

volunteerwork.Shewasaskingtoomuchofhim.Therewasnooneinherentirelifethathaddonethis

muchforher,ever.

Sheglancedoverathim,thesilenceinthecarstartingtogettoher.Hisprofiletookherbreathaway

andmadeitsoobvioustoherthatthiswasallwrong.Ethanwasgoingtogettiredofthemandtellherto

leave,ortostoppesteringhim.Shehadneverleanedonsomeonesomuchinheradultlife.

than turned down a dirt road, following the wooden arrow signs on the side of the road. A thick,

heavy coating of pristine snow blanketed the rolling hills, and they rode in silence. After a few

minutes a big red barn, a beaten old fence, and a dirt driveway came into view. He’d been trying to

concentrateonAllie,buthismindwasstillonthephonecallhe’dtakenoutsidetheshelter.Thingswere

notlookinggood.Thismorninghe’dhadthebrilliantideatoseeifhecouldgethisfathertofindanew

locationforthecondo.Hehadactuallytriedtoappealtotheman’ssofterside.Theonlyproblemwashis

fatherdidn’thaveone.Healsocouldn’tcarelessthatthekidsintheshelterwouldbeuprooted—hetold

Ethanthatwasonthelandlord’sconscience,nothis.Great.

Hislifewassuddenlycomplicatedandfilledwithliesthankstothegorgeouswomancurrentlysitting

besidehim.Alliewasactuallyattherootofallhisproblems.Nowthathe’dkissedher,hewantedher

morethanever.Everythingshe’drevealedlastnightstucktohimandhauntedhim.Whatwashegoingto

dowiththatknowledge?Howthehellcouldhepossiblymoveforwardwithherwhilelyingtoher?

“Everythingokay?”

HeglancedatAllie,andhisgutchurned.Shethoughthewasagoodfriend.Shethoughthewasgoingto

help her save Haven House when he was going to be doing the opposite. She was looking at him with

thoseeyesthathadalwayshadthepowertoreelhimin,rightfromthefirstnighthe’dmether.Shehad

walkeddowntheaisleofthesmallchapelwhereJacksonandHannahweremarried,andhe’dwantedher

instantly.Ofcourse,hisbestfriendhadtoldhimshewastooniceforhim,handsoff.Hell,Jacksonhad

beenright.

Ethanturnedtoherwhenshegasped.“ThisplaceisjustasspecialasIrememberit.Socharming!”

Hesmiledattheexpressiononherface.“Whenwasthelasttimeyouwerehere?”

Hercheeksflushedalmostimperceptibly.“Iusedtodatetheowner.”

Hedidn’tsayanythingforamomentandthenlookedoutthewindshield.Hedidn’tseeanythingspecial

abouttheplace,justagiantbarnwithtwinklingwhitelightsandfreshcedargarland,apicketfencewith

more garland, a nice dusting of white snow, rolling hills, and a vintage Santa sled out front. Nothing

specialatall.

“Really?Iexpectedtheownertobesomeoldfarmerguy.”

Sheshothimanadorablesmile.“Heinheriteditfromhisgrandparents.”

“Huh.Well,Iguessweshouldgoin.”Soapartofhimreallywantedtomeetthisguy.Anotherpartof

himhadnointentionofmeetinghim,whoeverthisblueberryfarmerwas.

Hepulledintoaparkingspot,andAlliejumpedoutofthecarbeforehehadeventurnedofftheignition.

Hewalkedovertomeether;shelookedreadytoruntowardthebarn.Therewasabigsign,B

LUEBERRY

ARMS

,hangingoverthedoor.Hehadtoadmittheplacehadacertaincharmtoit.Theescarpmentinthe

distance was covered in snow, and the wood fence looked as though it went on for miles. The air was

freshandcrisp,andevenifyoudidn’tlikethecold,youcouldn’tknocktheappealofthearea.Butthe

nicestthinginhisopinionwasthewomannexttohisSUV.Allie’seyesweresparkling,hermouthpulled

intoasmileasthoughshewasanticipatinggreatthings.Thatmouth.Hecouldn’tgetovertheirkiss,the

feelofherunderhim.Thesounds.WeekendEthan.Wantingtolickhisface.Thefactthatshehadwanted

himjustaslongashe’dwantedher.

“Ethan,areyousureyou’refeelingokay?”

Heneededtofocus.“Yeah,fine.Justthinkingaboutwork.”Andlastnight.Andtheshelter.AndAllie’s

pastwithhermother.AndD-Day.Whendidhislifegofromperfectlyorderlytocompletelyinsane?

Hegrabbedherhandinhis,becausedespiteeverythinghecouldn’tnottouchheranymore.Shedidn’t

pullaway.Instead,shewalkedwithhiminsilence.Theirbootscrunchedagainstthehardpackedearth.

Heheldopenthedoorforher,thearomaoffreshlybakedpastriesslammingintothem.

“Oh my God, this place gets better and better,” Allie said, squealing. She clutched his arm and

squeezed.“Comethisway.”Sheyankedhimbythehandintothebakery.Amassivedisplayofeverykind

ofimaginabledessertwasshowcasedbehindtheglass.“Idon’tevenknowwhattoget.”

“IthinktheChristmastreesareoutside.”

Sheshothimalook.“Firstweneedcoffeeandsomethingfromthedisplay.Gingerbreadmen…orlook

atthosemuffins…orthosecookies.Cookies.I’mgettingtwocookies.Doyouknowwhatyouwant?”She

turnedtolookupathim,andhehadtostiflehisgrin.Shelookedlikeakid.

TheywalkeduptothecashregisterandAllieorderedtwosnowflakecookiesandacoffee.

“I’llhaveacoffee,too,”hesaidtothecashierandgavehertheappropriatebills.

Alliefrownedathimwhenthecashierwenttoretrievetheirorder.“Whyaren’tyougettinganything?”

Heshrugged.“Ijustfeellikeacoffee.”

Hegrabbedtheircoffeesandshetookherbagofcookies.“Let’ssitoverthere,”hesaid,pointingtoa

tablebythewindow.Itoverlookedthefieldsbehindthebarn.

Herbagcrinkledasshepulledoutawhitecookieandthenglaredathimbeforetakingabite.“Ithought

youlovedcookies.HannahdubbedyoutheCookieMonsterofChristmas.”

He smiled and leaned back in his chair. He knew Jackson’s wife had given him that name after he’d

inhaled dozens of her homemade cookies one Christmas. Allie closed her eyes and moaned. Holy hell.

Shewascrunchingonthatcookielikeitwasasexualexperience.Heshiftedinhischairandtookasipof

coffee,burninghimselfontheblackliquid.

“Ifeelbadeatingifyou’renot.”

Heshrugged.“Why?Eat.Enjoy.”

Shefinishedinhalingoneandwaseyeingtheotheroneinthebag.Afteraminute,sheclosedthebag

withasighandtookasipofcoffee.

“Seriously,Allie,ifyouwanttheotheroneeatit.”

“No,no.It’sokay.Whydon’tIsaveitforyouonthedriveback?”

“I’mnotgoingtoeatit.”

“Ineverrealizedyouweresoanalaboutyourweight.”

“Itdoesn’thavetodowithweight.”

“Danithinksyoursmoothiesaredietshakes.”

Hesighedanddrankmorecoffee.“Idon’thavebodyissues.Ijustdon’teatsugaruntilDecember.Then

IeatitnonstopuntilJanuaryfirst.”

“Why?”

“Self-discipline.”

Nowhereyesnarrowedintoslits.“ImplyingIhavenone?”

He coughed. What the hell had he gotten himself into? “No. I read a bunch of studies on sugar and

decidedtogiveitupformostoftheyear.”

Shestuffedhercookiebagintoherpurseandcrossedonelegovertheother,swingingitinsomeweird

rigidmotion.Shewaspissedathim,orembarrassedmaybe.“Ithinkweshouldhurryupandfindatree.I

heard the weather forecast, and they’re calling for snow later on.” She stood abruptly, almost knocking

overtheircoffeesassheswungherpurseoverhershoulder.

Hesteadiedthemandpickedthemupashestood.

“Thankyou,”shesaid,pursingherlipsandtakinghers.

“Allie,”hegroaned,walkingbesideher.Theyexitedthebakeryandwalkedoutintothefresh,coldair.

Theskywasgrayandheavy,theairdamp,anditfeltlikesnowwascoming.

Shedidn’tsayawordastheywalkedtotheareathathadrowsandrowsofChristmastrees.Theground

beneaththemwascoldandbumpy,butAlliemarchedonuntiltheywerefartherandfartherfromthemain

barn. She zigzagged through the trees and all the while mumbled and grumbled. “So I think we need

somethingkindoflikethis,”shesaid,stoppingabruptlybyashort,somewhatthintree.

He made a face. “Not big enough. Too Charlie Brown. Let’s go over there.” He pointed to where it

lookedlikethelargesttreesweredisplayed.

He heard Allie grumble something as he led the way. Snow started falling, and he had to admit the

placewouldlookprettydamnmagicalifhewereonetothinkofmagicandChristmastrees.Hewasn’t.

Sheshovedhimoutofthewayandranpasthimtothelargesttreeinthebunch.Shestoodtriumphantly

besideitlikeshehadwonsomekindofcontest.Shewasprettydamncute.Thetipofhernosewaspink,

aswerehercheeks.Shewaswearingapalebluehatwithwhitesnowflakesandanavycoat.Hewanted

tohaulheruptohimandkissher,buthehadtorememberhecouldn’thaveanythingwithAllieotherthan

friendship—andeventhatwassoontobedoubtfulifhedidn’tfindawaytosavehershelter.

“Thisisit,theperfecttree.”

Heforcedhisgazefromhertotakeinthetree.“Areyousurethat’sgoingtofitintheroom?”

Shefrownedandassessedthetree,onehandonherhip.“Yup,totally.Ifyouthinkyoucanmanageit.”

“Me?Ofcourse.Youdon’thavetoworryaboutthat.”

Shesmiledsmugly.“Perfect.Weshouldprobablygofindouthowmuchthiscosts.”

“I’llcoverit.”

“Wehaveenoughinthebudget.”

“Takeitandspenditonsomethingelse.”

Shegavehimagorgeoussmile,andhegrinnedinreturn.Likeasap.HewasturningintoJackson.He

wassmilingwheneverhewasaroundAllie.“Thekidswilllovethis.”

Andher,too.Hewantedhertoloveit,too.Ah,hell,howwereallthesecrazythoughtscreepingin?

Lastnighthadruinedhim.Henevershouldhavekissedher.

“I’veneverhadarealtreebefore.Itsmellssogood.”Shestuckherheadbetweenacoupleofbranches

beforeyelping.“Kindofprickly.”

Hewalkedover,tossinghisemptycoffeecupinanearbybin.“Realtreeslookthebest,smellthebest,

anddon’tcomparetofake.”

Shetookasipofcoffeebeforelookingupathim.“Soyouhadrealtreesgrowingup?”

Henodded.“Yeah,afew.”

“Oh,wow.Likeindifferentrooms?”

Hestuffedhishandsinhispockets.“Yeah.Theyweredecoratedaccordingtotheroomtheywerein.”

“Thatmusthavebeenalotofworkforyourfamily.”

Hestaredatherforamomentbeforeanswering.“Wedidn’tdoitourselves.Thedecoratorsdiditevery

year.”

“Oh.”

“Whataboutyou?”

Shelookedupatthetreeagain,turningfromhim.“Notreeusually.”

“Iwonderwhat’smorepathetic.Notreeorabunchoftreesthatnoonereallyappreciated.”

Sheshothimaglance.“That’satoughcall.IboughtafaketreeforDanithefirstyearshecametolive

withme.Ithoughtitwouldcheerherup.”

“Didit?”

Shenodded.“Yup,abit.Iknowshewashappythatshewaslivingwithme,butIthinkatthatageit’s

stillhardtoleaveaparent,nomatterhownegligenttheywere.”

Helookeddownatthegroundforamoment.“Howisyourmomdoing?”

She took off a glove and ran her bare fingers across a few branches. “The same. She’s one of those

peoplewhojustcan’tgetittogether,youknow?She’snotabadperson,butsheprobablyshouldn’thave

hadkids.”Shesaidthelastpartsoftlyanditmadehimthinkaboutthingshewasn’tusedto.Shemadehim

feelthingshewasn’tusedto.Alliebroughtoutthissoftsideofhim,thesidethathecouldnevershowhis

family. Here, with her, it made him think that maybe he had what she needed. White snow clung to her

brownhair,andheradmissionhungintheair.

Hell, he wanted to identify with her. He wanted to tell her about himself, but he hadn’t talked about

thosedaysinyears.Hedidn’tlikebeingsoftorremindedofatimewhenhewassoweakandatthemercy

ofothers.Butthelookinhereyeswhenthey’dbeeninhisofficestillhauntedhim.She’dbeawomanhe

could tell his secrets to. In her own way she’d understand him. If he ever let someone in it would be

Allie.Itwasn’tonlyhissecrets,hispast.Hewantedtoknowabouthers.Hewishedhecouldbetheguy

tomakeitallbetter,tomakepromises.

Shewalkedawayfromhimforamomentanddroppedhercoffeecupintothebinandthenjoinedhim

again.“Whataboutyourparents?YoudoanythingspecialforChristmas?”

Heshrugged.“WemeetforbrunchChristmasmorning.”

“Oh…thatsounds…nice.”

Hegrinned.“It’shell,actually.Mybrothersitstheretryingtoimpressourfather,mybrother’swifeor

girlfriendofthedayspendstheentiretimeadmiringwhateverpieceofjewelryhissecretaryboughther,

andweallopengiftsthatnoneofusevenpickedoutourselves.”

Hermouthdroppedopen.“Whatdoyoumean?”

“Ann,myassistant,buysapresentformyfather,mother,andbrother.”

“Ethan!”

Helaughed.“It’safamilytradition.Handoveracreditcardandyou’redone.”

“That’skindofsad.”

“We’renotaclosefamily.”

Sheputherglovebackon,notlookingathim.“Funny,Ialwaysthoughtyoucamefromthisgreatfamily.

Sometimesit’ssoeasytoassumethatwhenyouhavemoneythingsaresomuchbetter.”

“Well,wedon’thavetoworryaboutfoodorwheretolive,sointhatrespectit’sbetter.”

“Didyoueverimagineyourselfwithyourownfamily?Havingyourowntraditions?”

Hetookastepclosertoherandthenstoppedhimself.Whatthehellwashedoing?No,hedidn’tthink

ofhisownfamily.Hedidn’tthinkofkids.Buthethoughtofher.Andmaybeinsomecrazyplaceinside,

wherehelethimselfimaginesuchthings,he’dthinkofAlliebeinghiswife.Amother.Shewasstaringat

him,hergazelockedonhis.Evenhewasn’timmunetothemoment,thescentofcedarenvelopingthem,

thegentlesnowfall,thefreshcountryair.Damn,whatwashappeningtohim?

Shemusthaveassumedhewasn’tgoingtosayathingbecauseshestartedspeaking.“Ineverthoughtof

thatkindofstuff.Youknowthatcraplinethatlittlegirlssitthereimaginingtheirwedding?Notme.Ihad

bigger stuff to worry about. But when Hannah and Jackson got married…that little church in the

country…”

Hervoicetrailedoffandshelookedbeyondhim,aslightsheeninhereyes.

“Yeah,”hesaid,hisvoicesoundinghoarse.“Thosetwomakeitlookeasy.”

Shelookeddownatherboots.“He’sagoodguy.”

Hell.Jacksonwasagoodguy,butitstillmadehimfeeljealous,becausehewantedtobeoneofthose

goodguys.HewantedAllie.Hewantedforthefirsttimeinhislifetohaveameaningfulrelationship.He

wantedawomanformorethananight.Notanywoman,Allie.OnlyAllie.

Henodded.“Heis.”Hewalkedovertowhereshewas,tellinghimselfhewasjustgoingtobrushthe

snowoffherhair,becausetheycouldn’tbeanythingmore.Hewasn’tgoodenoughforher,andhewould

hurther.Butthatdidn’tstophimfromwalkingovertoher.

“Allie,isthatyou?”

Hewhippedhisheadaroundassomelumberjacktypeguycamerunningover.Allieletoutsomekindof

squealandran—jumped—intotheguy’swaitingarms.Mr.Blueberry.Ethanstoodthereasjealousybeat

throughhisbodyinamockingrhythm.Whathewantedtodowaswalkoverandripthatman’shandsoff

Allie.Hecheckedatemperhewasn’tawarehehadandmentallycounteddown.

“It’ssogreattoseeyou,Sam,”Alliesaidinthatsweetvoiceofhers.

HesmileddownatherwithwhatEthanthoughtwereverydopeylookingeyes.Hewouldassumethat

somewomenwouldfindhisoutdoorsylooksappealing.“Greattoseeyou,too,honey.”

Time to insert himself. It was the honey endearment. When he stepped next to Allie and grabbed her

hand,shelookedupathim.Theshockedlookinhereyeswaseitherduetothefactthatshehadforgotten

hewasevenhere,orthathewasholdingherhand.“Oh,Ethan,thisismy…goodfriend,SamCromwell.”

SamCromwellheldouthishand.Ethanshookit,pissedatwhatafirmhandshakeitwas.

“Nicetomeetyou,Ethan.”

“Likewise,”Ethansaid.“Thisisyourfarm?”

Samnodded.“Yep.”

“So,you’reintoblueberries?”

Sam stood a little straighter like he was on to the fact that Ethan thought he was an idiot. “My

grandparentsstartedthefarm.Theynamedit.”

Ethannodded.“Howdoyoutwoknoweachother?”

Sam’slipspartedlikeagiantwhale.“Wegowayback.”

AllielookedupatEthan.“Wedatedforawhile.”

“Bestfewweeksofmylife,”Samsaid,leaningagainstoneofthetrees.

Hehopeditwouldfallover.“Great.So,we’rehereforatree,”Ethansaid.HepointedtothetreeAllie

hadalreadyshownhim.“IthinkAlliewantsthatone.Howmuchdoweoweyou?”

“ForAllie?It’sonthehouse.”

Ethantookouthiswallet.“Iinsist.”

“Sam,that’ssosweetofyou,butI’mpaying.”

“I’vegotit,”Ethansaid,baringhisteethlikeaNeanderthal.

“No,it’sonthehouse,”Samsaid,standingalittlestraighter.Dammitiftheyweren’tthesameheight.

“Guys,”Alliesaidinsomeprimaryschoolteacher’svoice.“I’mpaying.It’sgoingdownasanexpense

fortheshelter.”

Samhelduphishands.“I’lltakeittoyourcar.”

“I’lltakeit,”Ethansaid.

“Companypolicy.I’lltakeit.”

Ethanshruggedandwatchedhimliftthetreeeffortlessly.“Fine.I’dhatetogoagainstofficialBlueberry

Hillpolicy.We’llbethereinaminute.”Oncehewasoutofearshot,EthanturnedtolookatAllie.She

wascurrentlyscowlingathim.

Her foot was tapping against the snow-covered ground, making a crunching noise whenever it hit the

snow.“Whatwasthatallabout?”

“Sohe’stheex?”

Shecrossedherarmsandtuckedherhatdownloweroverherforehead,butnotlowenoughtocover

herscowl.“Yes.”

“Why’dyoubreakup?Tellmeitwasyouwhobrokeupwithhim.”

“Ifindyourattitudeverydisturbing,asisyourbarkingoutallthesequestions.Irefusetoansweryou

unlessyoubackdown.”

Ethanhelduphishands.“Backdown?I’mnotbeingconfrontational.I’mjustcurious.”

“Webrokeupbecausehecouldn’tgivemewhatIneeded.”

Ethancouldn’tstopthegrinfromspreadingonhisface.

Sheswattedhimwithhermitten.“Itwasn’thim.Itwasme.Iwantedthatall-encompassinglove,that

desirethatmakesapersonshake.Theweakinthekneesthing.”

“Icouldhavetoldyouhewouldn’thavegiventhattoyou.Icouldhavesparedyouweeksofyourlife.”

Hermouthdroppedopen.“You’reactinginsane.”

“No,Allie.I’mactinglikeaguywhohasaskedyououtthreetimesandhadyourefuseme.I’macting

likesaidguywhothenhastomeetsomeblueberryfarmerthatyoudidagreetodate.Iwillalsotellyou

thatWeekendEthanisarrivingtomorrowand—”

Hersquealofoutrageinterruptedhim.“Whatdidyoujustsay?”

Hecouldn’thelpbutsmile,eventhoughshewasroyallypissed,handsonherhips,withalookthattold

himshewasreadytokickhisass.“Yeah,WeekendEthan.Youknow,withscruffsoappealingyouwantto

lickmyface.”

Sheyelledasshelungedforhim.Hemanagedtoduckasshetriedtohithim,buthewaslaughingso

hardshemanagedtogethimintheshoulder.“Ican’tbelieveyou!Iwasn’tdreaming.You’reawful!”

Herfacewasbrightred,andhemanagedtograbherhand,tuggingherovertohim.“Idon’tthinkyou

reallythinkI’mawful.”

“Donotquotemeagain.”

“Fine. I don’t need to quote you. Yes, last night was very, very real, and I haven’t stopped thinking

aboutyousince.I’lltellyouwhatIknow.ThatchemistryyouwantedwithSpamtheblueberryfarmer?

Wehaveit.You’llknowthatwhenIkissyouinlessthanoneminutefromnow.”

“Uh,youwish,andhisnameisSam.”

“Yourworldwillstop.Yourkneeswillbesoweakyou’llhavetoholdontome.You’llforgetwhere

youare,whoyouare,andeverythingexceptwantingmore.”

Hermouthdroppedopen,andalittlesoundthatsentbloodpumpingthroughhisveinscameoutofher

mouth.Ethansteppedintoherspaceandcuppedherface,everymuscletightlywoundinhisbody.Snow

fellaroundthem,andtheywereisolatedamidsttherowsandrowsoftreesonthehill.Shedidn’tmove;

hereyeswereonhisandheknew,couldfeelthedesirerunningthroughher.

“Whatareyoudoing?”shewhispered,hergazegoingfromhiseyestohislips.

“I’mshowingyouwhatit’sliketoforgetwhereyouare,whoyouare,andeverythingexceptwanting

more.”Hedippedhisheadandfinallytastedthewomanthatkepthimupatnight,thinking,wanting.But

hewasn’tgoingtorushthis.Hewasgoingtosavoreverysecond,andhewasgoingtoshowherexactly

how good they could be together. He softly brushed his lips against one corner of her mouth, and she

sighed.Herhandsclutchedhisforearmswhenhesaidhernameagainstherlipsandthensankhishands

intoherhair.

That was the end of taking it slow. He kissed her wet and deep, and Allie tasted better than he

remembered.Shetastedofcinnamonandvanilla…andAllie.Andhecouldn’tgetenough.Hefistedhis

handsinherhair,pullinghercloser,kissingheruntilhewasprettydamnsurehemadegoodoneveryone

ofhisarrogantpromises.Herhandswentfromhisforearmstohischestandtuggedonthelapelsofhis

coat,pullinghimcloser,untilhewasdrowninginAllie.

“Yourtreeisready!”avoicecalledout,soundinglikeSpam.

“Wow,”shewhispered,stillclutchinghisforearmsandmovingbackslightly.

“Wecouldhavehadthisforthreeyearsifyou’dsaidyes.”

Shelookedupathim,hereyesfilledwithsomethingthatlookedlikeinsecurity.Sheletgoofhisarms

andtookastepback.“ThreeyearsagoIhadahardtimepicturingyouasanythingbutaguylookingfora

goodtimeandnostrings.”

“Sweetie,iftheywereyourstrings,Iwouldn’thavehadaproblem.”

She almost gave him a smile. “Ethan…I don’t…I’ve been on my own for a long time and things run

well. I don’t like relying on people because they always fail me, even though so far you haven’t.” She

pausedtosweepherarminsomesortofcircularmotionaroundhim.“You’vecomethroughforme.”Her

browfurrowed,andhetriedtokeepcalmeventhoughhefeltlikecrap,becausehewasn’tgoingtocome

throughforherintheend.Intheend,he’denduphurtingher.Heshouldn’thavestartedanyofthis,but

when he looked down at her, blue eyes staring into his with vulnerability and trust…it killed him. He

couldn’twalkawayfromher.

“Ethan,youaresomuchmorethanIexpected,butmylifeisashit-showmostdays.Ihaveamotherthat

requires more help than a child, a dependent attitude-filled teenage sister, and a disabled dog. I was

raised in low-income housing, never met my dad, and did groceries regularly at the food bank. These

designerclothesI’mwearingarethefirstI’veeverowned,andthey’rebecauseofyou.I’mnottellingyou

thissothatyoucanfeelbadforme.I’mgratefultoyou,morethanI’lleverbeabletotellyou—andIwill

payyouback,withinterest.”

Heclearedhisthroatbecauseitwasfilledwithemotion.Everythingshe’djustsaidmadehimwantto

tell his family to go to hell and just spend the rest of his life with Allie. He was turning into Jackson.

“Allie,thereisnowayinhell—”

“ButIdon’twantanyofthispermanently.Thisisnotme.Ilikesimplethings.Idon’tlikekeepingup

appearances.”

Heshrugged.“Icouldn’tgivearat’sassaboutappearances.”

“Iwantreal,Ethan.”

“ThenIguessI’llhavetoshowyourealagain,”hesaid,liftinghishandstocupherface.Herskinwas

softandherbreathhitchedashemadecontactwithher.

“Seriously,I’mnotjoking.DonotkissmeagainuntilIfinishwhatI’msaying.”

“Goahead,youweresayingsomethingaboutneedingreal.”

“Right,”shesaid,lickingherlipsquicklyandlookingathismouth.Hefoughthisurgetosmile.

“Maybeyougotmeallwrong.Maybeyoujustdon’tknowenoughaboutme.”Heranhisthumbalong

her cheekbone, wanting to convince her that he was more than who she thought. “I like your sister and

Hook.Asforyourmother,whoamItojudge?Youshouldmeetmyfamily.”

Shegavehimasmallsmile.“Igetthat,butit’snotwhatImean…youandIwouldneverwork.”

“YouthinkI’mshallow.”

Sheshookherheadthennodded.Helaughedandtriednottotakeittoopersonally.

“I don’t, Ethan. Sometimes I get this hint of someone else, like that day you kicked me out of your

office.I’veknownyouforthreeyears,andI’vebeenlivingatyourplaceforalmosttwoweeks,butIstill

don’tfeellikeIknowyou.Idon’tknowanythingmoreaboutyouthanIdidwhenwefirstmet.Igetthat

youdidn’twantmeinyourofficeforwhateverreason,butIthinkyourreactionwasstill…weird.”

Hewincedandthenpulledherintohisarms.Hewassurprisedwhenhefeltherarmswraparoundhis

waist.Hedidn’twanttotellher,hedidn’twanthersympathy,orevenworse,hedidn’twanttobeseenas

someoneweak.Shefeltshedidn’tknowhim,buthedidn’tknowhowtobeanymorerealwithoutdelving

intoapartofhimselfthathedidn’tfeelcomfortablewith.Hedidn’tlikethatEthan.

HelikedtheEthanwhokickedassatwork,whokickedassatthegym,andwasincontrolofhislife.

Hedidn’tlikethinkingofthekidwhohadnocontroloveranything.“I’msorryaboutthat,sweetie,”he

saidagainstthetopofherhead.Alliesmelledliketheoutdoorsandsomekindoffloweryshampoo.He

wassorryhe’dhurtherthatday,andhewassorryhecouldn’tletherin.Whatthehellwashesupposedto

donow?Shewasbasicallytellinghimthatshethoughthewashollow.SohischoicesweretoletAlliego

andkeepallhisshitsafelyinside,oropenuptoherand…

“Iknow,butyoustilldidn’ttellme…therearethingsthatIsaw.”Hepulledback,takingastepaway.

Hereyeswereonhim,sharp.“Weshouldprobablygetbacktotheshelterorit’llbetoolatetotrimthe

tree.”

“You’reright.Let’sseeifSpamwasabletogetthetreeontopofmySUV.”

“Sam.HisnameisSam.”

ChapterEight

nhourlater,AlliewasstandingonthestreetcornerwatchingEthanlugthetreeintotheshelter.He

wasrefusingtoletherhelp,sosheheldthedooropenforhim.Deniserushedover,asdidafewof

thekidstowatchhim.

ShesmiledasMaxdecidedtojoinEthanandhelpbringthetreeintothemainroom.

“Thanks,man,”EthansaidasMaxheldthetreewhileheassembledthebasehe’dpurchasedontheir

waythere.Allietriedtofocusontheconversationwiththegroupthatsurroundedthem,andnotonhow

hotEthanlookedtakingchargeofeverything.Thiswasstuffshealwayshadtodo.He’dsteppedinand

done everything with ease. Spending the day with him, just the two of them had been…nice as well as

revealing.

He had been jealous of Sam. She’d hoped he would have opened up to her and maybe let her in.

Instead,he’dproventhewholecrazyattractionthingshe’dbeenafter.He’dmadeherforgeteverything.

She had never been kissed like that—well, she had the night before. Now she knew she hadn’t been

dreaming,andapparentlyshe’dtoldthemanshewantedtolickhisface.Thatwasthelasttimeshewas

drinkingbyherself.

Todayhe’dtakenover,kissedherlikehewantedher,withapassionthatwasallconsuming,butwhen

shequestionedhim,he’dshutherdown.Hetossedhiscoatononeofthearmchairsandwasnowsecuring

thetreewithMaxwhileanotheroneoftheboysheldthetreeinposition.Sheshouldhavebeenpullingthe

boxesofdecorationsover,notcheckingouthimorthemusclesthatseemedtotakehisHenleytoawhole

newlevel.

She shouldn’t be thinking about any of that. She should be remembering that Ethan was emotionally

unavailable. So, great, the one guy who managed to rock her world with just a kiss was closed off

emotionally.“Wipeupyourdrool,Missy,”Denisewhisperedinherear.

Alliecoveredherface.“It’ssotrue,Iamdrooling.”

“Withgoodcause.Ijusthopeyoudon’tmessthisup.”

Alliefrownedatherfriend.“Thanksforthevoteofconfidence.”

Deniseputherarmaroundhershoulder.“Imean,whenyouguysgetclose,orhewantstogetclose,you

shutdownandcomeupwithfivethousandexcusesastowhyyou’dneverwork.”

“Ireallyhatethatyouknowsomuchaboutme,”shewhispered,stillwatchingEthaninteractwiththe

kidsashesecuredthetree.SheandDenisehadbondedalmostinstantlyandafterputtinginlongnights

anddaystogether,theyhadbothopenedupabouttheirpasts.Sheknewjustasmuchaboutherfriend.

“Allie,whatdoyouthink?”

Ethan’sdeepvoicerangoutacrosstheroom,andsheguiltilywhippedhergazeawayfromhischestto

his eyes. He was standing by the tree, asking her if it was in the right position. He was looking so

deliciousandsweetandsexy…sheclearedherthroatandnoddedrapidly.“Perfect.Let’sstartstringing

thelights.”

Deniserummagedthroughaboxandthenhandedheragiantballoftangledlights.“Goodluckkeeping

youreyesonthelights,”shewhispered.

Ethanwalkedovertothemandheldhishandout.“I’llgetthisdoneinfiveminutes.”

Allietriednottolaugh.“Haveyoueverdonethis?”

Hetookthelights.“It’sabunchoflights.Bigdeal.”

Halfanhourlater,AllieremindedEthanforthetenthtimenottoswearoutloud.Thekidsseemedto

think it was hilarious. Hot chocolate was being passed around, and they were helping unpack the

decorations.Ethanseemedtobemakingprogress,despitehisvocalfrustration.

“Huh.Ithinkwe’regoingonthirty-fiveminutesnow.Seemslikehalfanhourlongerthan—”

“Done,” he said triumphantly, standing with the lights completely unraveled. Everyone clapped and

whistled.

He held up his hands, smiling. The man had just successfully charmed and won over a room full of

teenagers,her,andDenise.“Thanks.Whoknowshowtostringthese?”

“Alliedoes,”oneofthegirlscalledout.

“Yup. I’m the expert.” She held out her hands for the first string of lights and started walking to the

ladder.“Also,Iknowenoughnottoputaridiculoustimelineonsuchthings.”ShegaveEthanasmirkjust

asshewalkedintotheladder.Hequicklyhelditstillforher.Itwasthatdamnsmileofhisthatwasall

distracting.

“Denise,IthinkweneedChristmasmusic,”shesaidassheclimbedtheladdertothetop.Shelooked

downandcaughtEthanstaringatherinthatwaythatmadeherbodyfeellikeitwasafurnaceaboutto

explode, because his eyes weren’t on hers, not right away. They roamed lazily up her body until they

reachedhereyes.Bythattimeshewasregrettingwearingawoolsweater.Sheshouldhavebeendressed

forthetropics.

“Don’tfall,”hesaid,handingherthefirststringoflightswithonehandandlightlyholdingontoherhip

withtheother.

“Thanksfortheadvice,”shesaid,tryingtoconcentrateongettingthelightstightlywrappedaroundthe

topbranchesandnotthefeelofhishandonherbody.

than stood in the cramped room drinking coffee and admiring Allie as she mingled with the teens.

Everyonelovedher;itwasobviousintheeasewithwhichmostofthemaddressedher,thecasual

rapportshehadwiththem.Shelaughed,sheteased,andshespokegentlytothemoredistantones.

Helookedaround,takinginthespace.Ithadactuallybeenafunnight.Thekidswerenowfilteringout

andtheroomwasalmostempty.AllieandDenisewereinthediningroomandhe’dtoldherhe’dwait

here for her. The Christmas tree cast a warm glow to the room and it did truly feel like a home, even

thoughitwasshelterforkidswhodidn’thaveahome.Butalltheyouthworkersandsupportstaffmadeit

feelreal.Feeling…somethingsheaccusedhimofbeingunableto.Washeincapableoffeeling?Ofcourse

not.Yet,hewaslackinginthatdepartmentaccordingtoAllie.

Heglancedoverather.Herbrownhairwaspiledslightlycrazilyatopherhead,heldtogetherwitha

big clip. Her red sweater clung to the curves he found himself admiring every day. Her smile was

gorgeous, and her eyes twinkled as she laughed with a few girls. So, see, he felt things. He felt lots of

things,besidestheobvious.

Ethansatdownonthecouchthatwasnowemptyandcontemplatedthislackoffeelingcommentwhile

hewaitedforAllie.Akidsatonanarmchairoppositehim,proppinghisfeetonthecoffeetable.Hewas

thesameteenhe’dseenthatfirstnighthe’dpickedAllieup.

Ethan stared at the kid’s sour expression. He knew that expression—it was the universal closed-off,

mutinous face worn by every teenager at some point in time. He knew this kid probably thought he

couldn’trelatetohim,andhell,hecouldn’tinalotofways,exceptone.

“Youlikeithere?”

Max shrugged, hunkered farther down into the cushions, and settled into a scowl. Allie happened to

walkbyatthatmoment,andEthanwatchedasthekid’sgazetrailedherappreciatively.

“Youlikeher?”

Maxjerkedhisheadtowardhim,afunnyredcreepinguphisneck.“She’scool.”

“Sheis.”

“Sheyourgirlfriend?”

Ethanpaused.“No.Justagoodfriend.”

“Soyou’reanidiot.”

Hebitbackalaughandstretchedouthislegs.Thecouchwasn’texactlycomfortablebutitwasclean.

“Sometimespeopledon’twanttoruinagoodthing,sotheydon’tmoveforward.”

Maxbenthisheadandpretendedtostudywhateveritwasinhisnotebook.“Don’tyouhaveanything

bettertodoonSaturday?Youlooklikeyou’resomebodyimportant.”

Ethanshrugged.“I’mwaitingforAllietofinishup.Iwantedtocomeheretonight.”

“Whatdoyoudo?”

“Iownatechcompany.”

“Really?Thatsoundscool.”

Henodded.“Itisprettycool.”See?Hecouldrelatetopeople.Hecouldfeelthings.Rightnowhefelt

genuineconcernforthesekidsandthiskidinparticular.

“Ibetyouneedalotofmoneytostartupacompany.”

Ethansatup.“Notreally,butitdoesn’thurt.Mybuddydidn’thaveanymoney.Hegotafullscholarship

tooneofthebestschoolsinthecountry.Whenwegraduatedwestartedup.”

“Yeah, but I bet you bankrolled it.” There was an edge in his voice, like he’d already decided he

couldn’tdosomethinglikethat.

“No, he wouldn’t let me because he didn’t want to be indebted to me. We started out of a basement

apartment.Wemadesomeluckyconnectionsandgotafewluckybreaks,butweworkedourassesoffand

tookalotofrisks.Anyonecandothat.”

Maxshrugged,hisexpressionclosingupagainandhidingthesparkofinterestEthanhadspotted.

“Yeah,well,it’sstupidtowastemytimedreamingaboutshitthatwillneverhappen.I’dnevergetinto

aschoollikethat.Ifuckedupmyfirsttwoyearsofhighschool.”

“Thatdoesn’tmatter.Fixitnow.”

Maxrubbedhisheadwithafrustratedsigh.“I’mtrying.”

“Thisseemslikeaplacethatcanhelpyou.”

“Itis.”

“It’snottoolate.You’relike,what,fifteen?”

“Sixteen.”Hesaiditlikeitwastheequivalenttoeighty.

“Sogetyourassingearandgetyourgradesup.”

Maxgrabbedhisbooksinahuff,andEthanfeltbadforbeingsobluntwithhim.“Hey,man,Iwasjust

tryingtoofferyousomeadvice.”

“Yeah,well,thelastthingIneedisadvicefromsomerichprickwhothinkshe’sdoingGoodSamaritan

workandimpressingsomechickhewantstobang.Saveitforsomeonewhoactuallygivesashit.”

He watched his first attempt at motivating a troubled teen storm out of the room. He let out a deep

breath.Shit.HethoughtDaniwasalottohandle.HowthehelldidAlliedothisallday?

Heglanceddownathiswatch.Sheshouldbefinishedanytimenow.Hestoodandwalkedovertothe

Christmastree.Itwasnice.Everyonehaddoneagoodjob.Nothingfancybutitmadethemaingathering

roomseemfestive.Hewonderedhowmanyofthesekidshadhadoneofthesegrowingup.He’dhadone

ineverysingleroomofhischildhoodhome.Theywereallgrand.Theyallhadadifferentcolorscheme

dependingontheroom’sdecor,andtheyallreachedthetwelve-footceilingsyetnotadamnoneevoked

thewarmththisonedid.

GuiltdancedaroundhismindashethoughtofthatMaxkid.Heheardsoftvoicesinthehallwayand

afterafewsecondsoflisteningherecognizedthemasAllieandMax.Helookedinthedirectionofthe

door and saw Max give her a smile—it was a half-smile and then he looked down. Allie was smiling

backathimandemotionhithiminthegut,renderinghimincapableofmoving.Shehadthislightabout

her,aglow,aninherentgoodnessthatbeggedandscreamedatthebestpiecesofhimtocomeforward.It

made him want to forget all the reasons he couldn’t have Allie, the foremost being that he wasn’t good

enoughforawomanlikethat.Hewouldhurther,andhewoulddisappointher,andseeingdisappointment

fromherwouldkillhim.Butknowingherevenbetterthanbeforewasmakingitimpossibleforhimtostay

away.Foronceinhislifehewantedthegood,hewantedtosurroundhimselfwithpeoplethatforcedhim

tobebetter,tobebiggerthanthesmallworldhelivedin.

AllieremindedhimofNurseAnnie.Anniehadbeenlikeamothertohim,andsometimeswhenhe’dbe

sickandscaredandlyinginthathospitalbedatnight,he’dmakesillylittlewishesandwouldaskGodto

makeAnniehismom.Heknewthatitcouldn’tpossiblyhappen,ofcourse,butAnniewouldholdhimlike

sheknewheneededsomeonetoholdontohim,becausehe’dbescaredhewoulddisappearandbetaken

fromtheworldwhenheshuthiseyes.Anniemadehimbelievehewouldalwaysbehere.

ItwasAnniewhohadheldontohimwhenhecriedforCara.ItwasAnniewhocheeredtheloudest

whenhe’dbeengiventheallclear.ItwasAnniewhohehadruntowiththebiggestofhugs.Andhe’d

neverheldontoanotherpersonlikethatagain.Annietaughthimhowtoloveandsomewherealongthe

wayhe’dforgotten.He’dforgottenaboutthatspecialfeeling.

Heblinkedbackthemoistureinhiseyesandfocusedonthelittlegoldangelonthetree.Hestillthought

of Annie, fleeting thoughts, and he’d quickly bury them. But this time of year brought out all those

memories.Hehadneverventuredbackthere,neverwenttoseeAnnieagaineventhoughhepromisedhe

would.Hemadehisdonations,thelargestdonationshemadeanywhere,andhehadgiftssenttothekids

every year, but he never went back. In days he’d be forced to revisit the part of his past no one knew

about.Itwaslikehisownlittlepersonalhellthatroseupandattemptedtochokehimonceayear.

“I’mallreadytogo.”Allie’svoicesweetlybroughthimbacktowherehewasnow,andheturnedto

her.Hedidn’tmoveforamoment,findingithardtotransitionoutofhisreflectivestateanddealwitha

presentthatdidn’tallowhimtoberealandopen.Alliewouldholdsomeonelikethat.She’dholdonand

willherstrengthandgoodnessintotheotherperson.

“Ethan?Youokay?”

He nodded, finding his voice, reminding himself of why it was better not to think of crap like this.

Feelingwashighlyoverrated.“Great.”Hewalkedacrosstheroomtograbhiscoatandshruggedintoit.

“Youokay?Youlookalittlelesslikeyou’rereadytoconquertheworld.”

Hesmiled,takinginthehatandscarf.Shewasgorgeousattheendofalongday,bundledupforwinter.

Shewasthemostbeautifulwomanhe’deverknown,insideandout.Andselfishbastardthathewas,he

wantedapartofit.

Hegrabbedherhand,andshefollowedalong.Heneededtogetoutside,tohavehertohimself,before

he remembered all the reasons he couldn’t have her, before he remembered he was going to break her

heartandtheheartofeveryoneinthisplace.Agushofcoldairandtumblingsnowgreetedthemasthey

emergedfromthewarmshelter.

“Don’t kill me for saying it, but I’m so happy it’s snowing.” Allie laughed, and just like every other

timeshelaughed,hefeltthathappinesscreepin.Helookeddownatherandstoodthereforhalfasecond

beforesteppingintoherandthreadinghisfingersthroughherhair.Hermouthdroppedopen,andheread

thesurpriseinthosegorgeouseyesofhers.

Thedesireandexcitement,thewelcomeofhistouch,thatwasallheneededbeforeloweringhismouth

to hers. Allie tasted of candy canes and sweetness. She wrapped her arms around him and kissed him

backandheforgotaboutwheretheywerestanding.Allhecouldthinkaboutwasfeelingthepresent,the

moment,thewoman.

ChapterNine

thanheldthedoortohiscondoopenforher,andAllieslippedpasthim.Shewasstillreelingfrom

theirday,fromhiskisses,andfromthemanhimself.Thekissatthefarmhad—aspromised—rocked

herworldcompletely.She’dalreadyknowntheyhadchemistry,andshehadbeenignoringthatchemistry

for years. What she hadn’t counted on was that she’d feel something more than just chemistry from his

kiss.Orthathe’dfeelmore.Notthatshecouldattestforwhatthemanfelt,buttheentirethinghadfelt

real.

ThentherewasthewholethingatHavenHouse.Thetreedecorating,hisnaturalcharmthathadwon

overeventhesurliestoftheteens—evenMaxlookedsomewhatintriguedbyEthan.Hehadhungaround

andsocializedandhelpedasthoughitwasthebestthinghecouldbedoingonaSaturdaynight.Thenhe’d

kissedheroutsidewithapassionoraneedthatwaspalpable.

There was something in his eyes, though, as she replayed the night, when she’d gone in to find him

standingnexttotheChristmastree.Ethanhadlookedvulnerable,andheneverlookedvulnerable.Boyish,

yes,butnotactuallyvulnerable.Ithadbeeninthewayhe’dstoodthere,handsinhispockets,thetiltof

that firm chin, the glint in his eyes. Whatever it was that he was keeping inside, a part of her was

concerned.Itmadeherthinkofthepictureinhisoffice,thebooks,theD-Dayonhiscalendar.

“Youtotallyrockedthetree-trimmingevent.AndifIhadsomekindofaccesstoribbonsormedalsor

goldstars,Iwouldtotallygiveyouone,becausethereisnowayIcouldhavepulledthatoffbymyself.”

His grin was infectious, partly because it had that whole boyish thing she’d just been thinking about,

and partly because he was walking closer to her. It was as though their kiss had demolished whatever

barrier they’d had up before. He’d dropped his jacket on the chair at the front and was wearing the

Henleyandhiswornjeans.She’dexpectedhimtoalwayslookdesigner,andmaybeitwasbecauseshe

knew he came from money and was usually dressed in designer suits for work, but at home he looked

casual.Notpreppy.Heworehisclothesthewayhedideverything,withaconfidenceandcasualgrace

that she admired. She loved “Weekend Ethan” who didn’t shave and wore a ratty baseball cap. She

admiredhiminalotofwayswhenshewasn’tbusysalivatingoverhim,likeshewasnow,becausehe

wasstandinginfrontofher,theboyishnessgoneashestaredintohereyes.

“Idon’tneedamedal.”

Shetappedherfingeronherchin.“Goldstar.”

He grinned, wide and gorgeous and downright sexy as he leaned close to her. His mouth was a few

inchesfromhers,andittookalltheself-controlshehadnottoreachupandkisshim.“Spendthenight

withme,Allie.”

Herheartstoppedforasecond,andarushofbloodtorethroughher.Sheforcedacalmexpressionon

herface.“Ithinkthatrewardisalittledisproportionateforthetask.”

Helaughed,lowanddeep,andsetoffanotheravalancheoffeelingsthroughherbody.“Imeant,like,

haveaglassofwinewithmeandtalk.”

Sheclearedherthroatandrefusedtolookembarrassed,ifthatwerepossible.“Oh.Oh,ofcoursethat’s

whatyoumeant.Sure,I’dloveaglassofwine.”

Hegrinnedagainandgrabbedherhand,thentheywalkedtothekitchen.“Areyouhungry?”

Shecouldeatanythingandeverythingshewassohungry.Thensherememberedthecookiedebacleat

thefarm.“Alittle.”

Ethanopenedthefridgethenshutitasecondlater.“Howabouttakeout?”

Consideringthemanonlyatehealthfoodshewashesitanttoagree.“Whatdoyouusuallyorder?”She

reallyneededcomfortfood,notsaladandprotein.

“I don’t usually order. I usually go out or cook something.” He leaned casually against the granite

counter.Helookedgoodenoughtoeat.Shepurposelytookastepback.Shenevershouldhaveletthatkiss

happen,orthesecondone.Itwasmucheasiertokeepatadistancebefore.Nowshehadtocontendwith

thisinsaneurgetojumphim.

“DoyoulikeThaifood?”

Henodded.“Sure.HowaboutIorderwhileyougetussetupintheotherroom?”

“Great.I’llgetwine.”

“Helpyourselftoanything.Maybeavoidtherum.I’llhaveaglassofred,”hesaid,scrollingthroughhis

phone.

“It’srudeofyoutomentiontherummishap.”

“Isthathowwe’rereferringtoitnow?”

“Thatwastheendofreferringtoitatall.”

Secondslatersheheardhimplacinganorder.Shewalkedacrossthelargespaceandturnedononeof

thetablelamps.Itcastawarmglowtothedarkspace.Therestofthelightingwastakencareofbythe

cityskyline.

Ethanwalkedinasecondlater.“Foodisonitsway.”

“Seriously? The one night Ethan orders delivery and I’m not going to be here?” Dani stood in the

doorwaywithabackpackonhershoulderandafrownonherface.

Shecrossedherarmsandeyedhersister.“Whereareyougoingtobe?”

Danisighedtheatricallyandletherbagdroptothefloor.“Sandra’s.”

Ethanpouredwineintotwoglasses,notsayinganything.

“Behomeby—”

“I’msleepingthere.”

AllieacceptedtheglassofwineEthanhandedher.Itwasperfecttiming.SheknewSandrawasoneof

Dani’sbestfriends.ShejustneededtobesurethatDaniwastellingthetruth.

“You need to tell me—ask me actually—instead of just telling me. Also, I need to speak with her

mom.” Allie took a long sip of her wine as Dani let out a screech of what she presumed was

mortification.

Shestompedherfoot.“Youarenotcalling!”

Ethanheldouthisphoneinherdirection.

“Thankyou,Ethan.Phonenumber,Dani.”Shegavehersisterapointedlookandwaited.

“OhmyGod,I’mdyingrightnow.”

Ethanturnedtoher,obviouslyholdinginhisgrin.“Call911,thencallthefriend’smom.”

Danifloppedontothecouch.“Ugh.WhatcouldIhavepossiblydonetoearnthislackoftrust?”

Ethancoughed.“Uh,Icanthinkofatime,notthatlongagoactually…”

Allie turned from the conversation and spoke with Sandra’s mother. “Fine, all clear,” she said a

momentlater.SheplacedEthan’sphoneontheendtable.“Iconfirmedwithhermom.Shealsosaidthat

youarebothstayingintonight,right?”

Danirolledhereyesandnodded.

“Howareyougettingthere?”Ethanasked.

Dani’sfacelituplikeaChristmastree.“Areyouofferingmeoneofyourcars?”

Hetookouthiswallet.“I’mofferingyoumoneyforacab.”

“Putyourwalletaway,”Alliesaid,attemptingtosnatchit.Instead,shealmostspilledherwineallover

theman.

Danimadesomesortoftheatricalsigh.“Allie,don’tbesuchadownerallthetime.”

Ethanhandedhersistersomemoneyandminuteslatershewasleaving.

“Youdon’thavetodothat,youknow.”Alliehadtoadmititwasanicefeeling,though,havinganother

adultintheroom.Hersisterwasaforcetobereckonedwith,andshewasalwaysbyherself.He’dcome

throughforher.Again.

thanwatchedAlliefromacrosstheroom,sippingherwine.HethoughtofwhatDanihadsaidabout

their mom. They had finished eating dinner and had cleared the dishes and were now back in the

livingroom.Hehadneverrealizedhowalonehehadbeen,howemptythisspacehadfeltwithoutAllie.

“ThanksagainforputtingupwithDani’santics.”

Heshruggedandsatdownbesideheronthecouch.Heneededtotellheraboutthenightshe’dpassed

outonhisbed.“I’vegottotellyousomething.”

Thewaysheleanedforward,concernmakinghereyesdeepen,touchedhim.Heknewshethoughthe

wasgoingtoopenuptoher.Heranhishandsthroughhishair.“Thenightyou…cameontomewhenyou

wereinmybed?”

“Idon’trecallanightlikethis,”shesaid,lookingintoherglass.

“Dani called your cell phone. I picked it up. She was stuck at some party with some loser guy that

ditchedher.”

Sheputdowntherestofherwineandsmackedherhandsoverhermouth.

“SoIwenttopickherup—shewasfine.Nothingbadhappened.Ilecturedhertheentirewayhome.She

beggedmenottotellyou…”Hisvoicetrailedoffwhenhereyesfilledwithtears.“Iexpectedyoutobe

pissedwithmefornottellingyou.”

“Youwentandpickedupmysister.Youmadeherwrappresents.Sheevensaidshelovedme.”

Heswallowedhardandthennodded.

“Thankyou,”shewhisperedintoherglassofwine.“Youhavenoideawhatthatmeanstome.I’vebeen

onmyownforsolong,andIneverrelyonanyone.Youcamethroughforme,Ethan.Youtookusin,no

questions asked, after the fire. You gave us food and clothes, you totally helped with the shelter…and

Dani…”Shestoppedspeakingandlookedupattheceiling.“Ihaveneverhadsomeonetorelyon,and

you came through for me.” She looked back at him, bringing with her gaze every ounce of feeling and

emotionthathadbeenmissingfromhislife.Heneededhernottothinkofhimlikethat,becausehewould

destroyallhertrustifsheonlyknew.Heshouldcomeupwithsomekindofexcuseandwalkawayfrom

her.He’dwantedherfromthemomenthefirstsawher,andnowshewashere,inhishome,andstaringat

himwiththemostgorgeousmixofdesireandtrust.Ifhewereabetterman,that’swhathe’ddo.

Hewasfilledwithhisowndemons,hisownfucked-upproblemshedidn’twanttobotherherwith.D-

Daywasnextweek,andiftherewereaproblem,he’dneverletherknow.He’djustwalkaway.Maybe

thiswashislastchancetobewithherbeforehisentirelifewenttohell,andifitwasn’t,he’dfindaway

tomakeitrightforher.

“InthecarDanisaidsomethingaboutyourmomneedingmoney?”

Hermouthdroppedopenandshelookedaway.“Whatelsedidshesay?”

“Notmuch.Shewassorryaboutyellingatyou,andIthinkshefeelslikeyourmomtakesadvantageof

you.”

Sheshruggedandavoidedeyecontact.Thenshepickedatherjeans.

“Allie…”

“Youwouldneverunderstand.”

“Tryme.”

Sheraisedaneyebrow.“It’snotauniquestory.Singleparentfamily.NodadthatIknowof.DaniandI

havedifferentfathers,buthersisMIA,too.Mymothertriedherbest,butshe’sanalcoholic.Shealmost

lostme,butgotsoberinordertokeepme.That’showIfirstlearnedtheserenityprayer.”

Hismusclesfelttight,andhewantedtoacknowledgetheprayer,whatshewastryingtodobyshowing

themtheirconnection,buthecouldn’tdothat.Hedidn’twanttoacknowledgethatpart.Hewantedtoask

a thousand questions, but he knew he had to play it cool; he didn’t want her to back away. “So what

happenedwithDani?Whydidyoutakeherin?”

She took a noticeably tiny sip of wine. “Because she started drinking again. Sometimes I feel bad

becauseIdidn’tnoticerightaway.”

“It’sprettyamazingyoudidthat.”

“Family.She’smylittlesister,andtherewasnowayIwasgoingtoleaveherthere.”

“Andhow’syourmomnow?”

She ran a hand through her hair. “Not great. She’s been with the same guy now for years, so I guess

that’sgood.Excepttheybothdrink,andtheyhavetroublemakingrent.”

“Andthat’swhysheneededmoneyfromyou?”

Shenodded,andheputhishandonherthigh.“I,uh,Ifeelindebtedtoher,forsomethingthathappened

alongtimeago,”shesaidinalowvoice,breakinghisstare.

Heforcedhimselftolookcalmeventhough,thankstoDani,healreadyknewwherethiswasheaded.

“Whathappened,sweetheart?”

Sheblinkedafewtimes,staringintothefire.“Oneofherboyfriendsstartedcomingintomyroomwhen

Iwastwelve.”Shestoppedtalking,andhestoppedbreathing.Hehopedtohellthisstorywasn’tgoingto

gothere,thatshedidn’thavetoendurewhathethoughtwascomingnext.Hedidn’tknowhowhe’dhandle

it,howhe’dkeepitalltogether.JusttheideaofsomeonehurtingAllieintentionally,especiallythechild

versionofAllie,wastoomuch.

“At first it was little things. Hugs. Then the hugs lasted a little longer. And I would tell my mom

becauseIwasscared.Iwastotallygrossedout.Icanstillrememberhissmell.Hesmelledlikebeerand

BO.”

Ethanwantedtokillsomeone.Him.Thatpervertedasshole.Hewantedtohunthimdownandkillhim.

“Whathappened?”hemanagedtoask,notevenrecognizinghisvoice.

Allie downed the rest of her wine and set it on the coffee table. He looked at the empty glass,

rememberingwhatDanihadsaidaboutAlliedrinking.

“Things progressed a little…but the night he tried to…and wanted me to do things to him, my mom

caughthim,andshegotridofhim.Shebelievedme.”

EthanstaredatherwonderinghowthehellAlliehadturnedoutsogood.Howallthishadhappenedto

herandshedidn’twalkaroundscarred.Howshecouldexpectsolittleofhermother,almostasthough

whathermotherhaddonewasaboveandbeyond.

“Yourmotherchoseyou,herdaughter,andthat’sthewayitshouldbe.Herbelievingyoushouldhave

beenagiven,”hewhispered.

“Forheritwasn’t.Formanyitisn’t.”Shelookedathim,thistimewithapleainhereyes,hergorgeous

mouthtrembling.“Idon’twanttotalkaboutthis.Iwanttobedoinganythingbuttalkingaboutthis.”

Heleanedforward,cuppingthebackofherhead,hisgazegoingfromhereyestoherlips.“Thankyou

fortellingme.”

“Itrustyou,Ethan,”shesaid.Heknewthathehadn’ttoldherabouthispast.Buttonightwasn’tabout

him.Itwasabouther.ItwasaboutAllietrustinghim,feelingsafewithhim.Hewashumbled,andhewas

falling.Heleanedcloser,wantinghermorethananyoneelse,ever.Shemethimhalfway.Sheleanedinto

him,andhetookhermouthinhis.Alliemoanedsweetlyashemovedtocoverherbody,leaningbackinto

thecouch.Hekissedheruntilhecouldn’trememberhisownname,untilneitherofthemcouldthinkabout

anythingotherthanbeingwitheachother.Shekissedhimbackwitheveryounceofdesire,everyemotion.

Heslidhishandunderhersweater,cuppingasoft,perfectbreast,whiletheotherroamedupherthighto

palmhersweetass.Hersoft,curvybodypressedupagainsthis,andhedraggedhismouthfromherlipsto

herearlobe.Shehadherhandsinhishair.

“God,Iwantyou,Allie.Rightfromthefirstnight.Iknewwe’dbelikethistogether,”hewhisperedin

betweentrailingkissesfromherneckbackuptohermouth.

A pounding on the door jolted them. He ignored it and kissed her again. Until the pounding started

again. He cursed softly. They were both breathing raggedly, and he lowered his forehead to hers. “I’m

goingtokillwhoeverisontheothersideofthatdoor.”

“Whoisit?”shewhispered.

“Whoeveritis,theyarenofriendofmine,”hesaid.Buttheknockingcontinued,andbythesoundsofit,

itwasprobablyoneofhisfriends.Hedisengagedhislimbsfromthebestthingthateverhappenedtohim

andstood.HeranhishandsthroughhishairandlookeddownatAllie.Shewastryingtosmoothouther

hairandlookedcompletelyirresistible.Heleaneddowntokissheronelasttimebeforedragginghimself

awayandwalkingtothefrontdoor.

HeswungitopenandstaredatNicholasWright’sgrimface.“Whatthehell?Don’tyouhaveanything

elsebettertodoonaSaturdaynight?”

Hisfriendlookedathimupanddown.“Idon’t,butapparentlyyoudo.”

Allie appeared in the hallway, and Ethan decided it was time to compartmentalize Nick. There was

only one reason his friend was here, and there was no way he wanted Allie to know anything about it.

“Uh,Allie,thisismyfriendNicholasWright.”

Nicholasgavehimalookthatwasunmistakablyapologetic.“Nicetomeetyou,Allie,”hesaid,shaking

herhand.

“Nick,gowaitformeinmyoffice,”Ethansaid.

Nicholasgavehimasmallsaluteandwalkeddownthehall.

EthanwalkeduptoAllie,whohadherarmsfoldedacrossherchest.“So,what’sthisallabout?”

“I’msorry,sweetheart.Wehadsomeunfinishedcontractstogoover,butIhadnoideahe’dbecoming

overtonight.”Hewassoscrewed,andhewasabiggerjerkthanevenbefore.Hedidn’twanttoleaveher

alone,especiallyaftereverythingshe’djusttoldhim.Hewantedherinhisarms,inhisbed,hewantedto

makelovetoherandmakeherfeellovedandsafe.Butinsteadhewasgoingtogooverplanstomove

forwardwithclosingdownhershelter.

Shegavealittlenod.“Sohe’sallowedinyouroffice?”

Shit.“He’sdifferent,he’saguy.Hedoesn’tlookatthings.Hesitsdownandstartstalkingcontracts.”

Shepokedhiminthestomach,andhegrabbedherhand,tuggingherintohimforalongkiss.Thedoor

crashedopenandtheybothjumped.Daniwasstandingtherelookingroyallypissed.“Inolongerhavea

BFF.Sandraisdeadtome.”

Somuchforanightofjustthetwoofthem.

ChapterTen

lliehuddledfartherintohercoatandhoppedfromonefoottotheother.Itwasalmostfiveo’clock

onMonday,andshewasstandingoutsidealargeofficebuilding.Itwasrushhour,andthestreets

andsidewalkswerepacked.

Shewashuddledinthealcovesoshewasn’tinanyone’sway.Shehadwaitedinsideforever,butthere

wasnosignofEthan.Sheknewwhattodaywas,andshewasalmostinsemi-panicmode.Normallyshe

wouldhavetakenintheprettycityscapeatChristmastime.Nearbybusinessesallhadtwinklinglightsand

greenery,theairsmelledofexhaust…andofcinnamon…huh.Shespottedthebakeryonthestreetcorner

andpromisedherselfthatifhedidn’temergefromthebuildinginhalfanhour,she’dgetherselfthemost

ginormouscinnamonbunmoneycouldbuy.

AfterSaturdaynight’sinterrupted…whatever,Ethanhadchanged.Hisentiremoodhadshifted,andhe

wasdistantandpreoccupied.Sundaymorninghewentoutforhisusualrun,butthistimewhenhecame

backhomehejustclaimedhehadalotofworkandspentmostofthedayinhisoffice.

Allie first thought it had something to do with his lawyer’s visit, but then she remembered that today

wastheinfamous/mysteriousD-Dayonhiscalendar.She’dwokenupextraearlytotryandhaveamoment

withhim,buthe’dalreadybeengone.Shecalledhisofficefromworkatleasthalfadozentimes,butwas

alwaystoldhewasunavailable.Shethendecidedshe’dhavetofinaglesomekindofinformationoutof

hisreceptionistAnn.Annwasnotoriousforbeingprivate,butafteraquickcalltoHannah,Alliefound

outsomenews:apparently,Ethanwasinsidethebuildingatsomekindofmedicalappointment.Assoon

asAlliefinishedupatthesheltershe’djumpedonastreetcartothisaddressandhadbeenwaitingever

since.

Sheglanceddownatherwatchandgroaned.Shewasfreezing,andhewasnowhereinsight.Shehad

textedhimfivetimes,andhenormallyalwaystextedherbackwithinminutes.Today?Silence.Afterfive

more minutes, she decided she’d pop into the bakery, grab her cinnamon bun, and then run back to her

perch. And then when she saw Ethan, she’d make sure he was fine, and then she’d yell at him for not

returninghertexts.

thanlookedathiswatchandwaspissedtonoticehishandwasshakingslightly.Headjustedhistie

and shifted in his seat as he waited for his doctor to arrive. He was running late. Well, he’d been

hereforovertwofreakinghours.Thefirsthalfhourwashisfault,becausehe’darrivedearly.Butthelast

hourandahalfwaspuretorture.Thiswasmaybethemosttorturousyearyetandheknewwhy—acertain

brunettethathadaholdonhisheart.

Nicholas’suntimelyarrivalSaturdaynighthadbeenablessingofsorts,asmuchashehatedtoadmitit.

He never should’ve kissed Allie, because he’d end up breaking her heart. Nicholas’s appearance

remindedhimofexactlywhyhecouldn’tbeinvolvedwithAllie.Itwouldbeunderhandedofhim.There

wasnowaytoreconcilehiswanttobeathisbrotherandhisfeelingsforAllie.He’dbeendismissedlong

ago,buthewasstrongandtheteamofpeoplehehadworkingonthisdevelopmentwouldprovetobefar

superiortoCarson’s.

Nowallhehadtodowasgetacleanbillofhealth,whichwasreasonnumbertwohewasgladthings

hadn’tgottenanyfartherwithAllie.Allhisdefenseshadbeendownthatnight.Yes,he’dwantedher,that

wasn’t the part that surprised him. It was the emotional level that floored him. Their conversation, her

openinguptohim,hadrattledhim.Buthe’dabandonedherafterinfavorofameetingwithhislawyer.

Sincemovingin,he’drepeatedlyfailedher.FirstwasHavenHouse.Ifsheevenknewhowinvolvedhe

wasinthatmess,shewouldprobablykillhimwithherbarehands—orgethersistertodoit.Secondwas

acting like some sort of asswipe when he caught her in his office. And third was ditching her the night

she’d made some roundabout plans with him, and he’d been too stupid to even realize it. But he didn’t

wanttoshareanyofthatwithher.Hedidn’tevenlikeremembering.Heneverevenspokeofit,nottohis

family,nottohisfriends,andcertainlynottoAllie.

Thenagain,iftherewereeverapersonhecouldimaginetelling,itwouldbeher.Heknewwhyshewas

sogoodatherjob,whythekidsgravitatedtoher.Shehadthewisdomofsomeonemucholderandthe

compassionofasaint.Butthelastthinghewouldwantwasherpity.

Hetensedasthesoundoffootstepsapproached.Secondslaterhewasstaringatthedoctorheonlysaw

onceayearandlookingforanysignsofbadnews.Beforehecoulddwell,hisdoctorwassmilingand

sittingdownwithasigh.

“Sorry to keep you waiting, Ethan. I know you get worried about these tests. I’m happy to say

everythinglooksgoodasusual.Youcouldn’tbeinanybetterhealth.”

Themassiveweightofthechainsitfeltlikehe’dbeencarryingthelastmonthslowlyeased,hisbody

feelinglighter.Helookedintohisdoctor’sfamiliarblueeyes,seeingthetruthinthem.“So,Iguessthisis

ittillnextyear?”

Dr.Petersonslowlystood.“YouhaveyourselfaMerryChristmas,Ethan.”

Ethansmiled,shookhishand,andlefttheroom.Thisfeeling,ithappenedtohimeveryyear,thankfully.

Healwayscameherealonedespitehisentirefamilyknowingthatthiswaswhathedideveryyear.No

one had ever offered to come with him, and that was for the best. He didn’t like talking or sharing or

feelings.Luckilyneitherdidhisparentsorbrother.

Hepressedthedownbuttonontheelevatorrepeatedly.Whilehewaitedfortheelevatortoarrivehe

pulledouthisphoneandnoticedthemissedmessagesfromAllie,eachgettingmorefranticwiththelast

oneinallcaps,demandingheanswerher.Hesteppedintotheelevator,smiling.

He frowned as he made his way to the lobby doors and noticed the familiar, gorgeous profile of a

“I

brunettestandingoutside,shovingacinnamonbuninhermouth.Sheturnedaroundandmadeeyecontact

withhimthesecondhesteppedfootonthesidewalk.Shestoodthere,icingonthesidesofherlips,her

nosered,cheekspink,andeyesthatwerefilledwith…tears.

“Allie,whatareyoudoinghere?”Hedidn’twanthertoknow,hedidn’twanttosharethatweakness;

hedidn’tlikefeelingexposed.

Sheglaredathimthroughhertearsandwavedherhandinfrontofherface,pointingtohermouth.It

was currently on the verge of exploding. A second later she opened her mouth. “I remembered on your

calendarthattodaywasD-Day,andthat’saveryominousthingtowritedown,youknow.Ikeptcalling

you at the office, but Ann refused to give me any info until finally Hannah gave me some pointers on

findingoutdetails.SoIcamehere,notthatIknowwherehereis,butI’vebeenfreezingmyassofftrying

tobesupportiveand—”

Hekissedher,inthemiddleofthesidewalk,withthecrowdsbustlingby.Hekissedherbecauseshe

wasbeautiful,shewasreal,andsheactually,genuinelygaveashitabouthim.Hekissedherandtastedthe

cinnamon,thesugar,andthewoman.Thiswouldbehisundoing—herfollowinghimhere.Hewantedto

buryhimselfinher,absorbthesweetnesssheembodied.Hewantedtofeelherlegswraparoundhimand

neverletgo;hewantedhertokeephimhere,forever,inthislifewithher.Hewantedtolethimselfbethe

kindofmanwhoneededanotherperson.Alliewashisgreatestfantasy,hisgreatestweakness.

“Comehomewithme,”hewhisperedagainstherlips.

“Ilivewithyou.”

“Where’syoursister?”

“Sandraisnolongerdead.TheyareBFFsagain,soshe’soveratherhouse.”

“Let’sgo.”

feellikecelebrating,”Ethansaidassoonastheywalkedintohiscondo.

Alliewatchedashepoppedopenabottleofchampagne.

“Soeverythingwent…well?”

“Betterthanwell.Awesome.”Hehandedheraglassofchampagne.

“I’dlovetosayatoast,butIhavenoideawhatwe’retoastingbecauseapparentlyyouthinkI’mthis

moronwhofollowsyouaroundthecityanddoesnotdeservetobeletintowhatever…challengesyouare

facing.”

Hetookalongdrink.Shewaited.

“OfcourseIdon’tthinkyou’reamoron.You’rethemostperfectwomanI’veevermet,”hesaid,taking

astepintoher.Shebackedupandheldupherhand.

“Holditrightthere.Noattemptsatcharmingme.Iwantthetruth.Allofit.”

Themusclesinhisjawclenchedafewtimeswhilehisgazelockedontohers,andshewonderedifhe

wasevaluatingherorifhe’dmadeuphismindalready.“IknowIcantrustyou,”hesaidgruffly.“There

arethingsIcan’ttalkabouttoanyone.”

“AmIjustanyone?”

Sheheldherbreathandrealizedhisanswermeanttheworldtoher.“Youaresomuchmoretomethan

youcouldpossiblyknow,Allie.”Ethan’svoicewaslow,raw,andshefeltawarmthspreadthroughher.

“What’sD-Day?”

Heranhishandsthroughhisalreadyscruffyhairandsworesoftly,walkingovertothewindows.The

moonlightand city lightsilluminated his bodyas he stood there.He looked likean imposing figure, all

hardlinesandmuscle.

Ethan’s back was to her. Even the sight of the plump, fluffy snowflakes falling outside the window

didn’t distract her. She couldn’t look beyond him or think of anything other than him and what he was

abouttotellher—ifheactuallytoldher.Shesatdownonthecouchanddrewherkneesuptoherchest

andwrappedherarmsaroundthem,wantingtofeelwarmagain.

Ethanclearedhisthroatandfinishedoffhischampagnebeforesettinghisglassdownonthesidetable.

She didn’t think he’d turn to look at her, but he did. His hands were stuffed in his pockets. He looked

completely beautiful and completely unapproachable. All the hard lines she’d admired were now taut

withthetensionofwhateveritwashewasholdingin.

“WhenIwaseightIwasdiagnosedwithleukemia.”

A wave of goose bumps and nausea rushed over her. She had known on maybe some level, but she

hadn’twantedtoberight.Shewantedtogobacktothewaytheywereinbed.Shewantedtoseehisface

filled with intense passion or laughing. She didn’t want to hear this other voice. It was filled with a

hardnessshedidn’tassociatewithEthan.

Tearsfilledhereyesimmediately,butsheforcedherselftoholditallin.Shewrappedherarmstightly

aroundherself,tryingnottoshake.Forasecondshewonderedifsheshouldapproachhim,buthelooked

toosolitary,toostandoffishtoapproach.Hewaslookingstraightintohereyesnow,andshewouldn’tlet

himseehercry,sosheblinkeduntilshepulledherselftogether.Acidswirledaroundinherstomach.She

searchedfortherightwords,butshockkeptherlipstightlyclosed.Thebooksshe’dseeninhisoffice.It

allmadesense.Finally,shespoketheonlywordsthatcametoher.“I’msorry.”

He gave an almost imperceptible shrug, but his brown eyes were locked onto hers and he stared,

assessing.Shehadtheuncomfortablefeelingthathewasassessingherreaction.

“Butyou’reokaynow,right?”shewhisperedafteranothertensemoment.

He walked over to the liquor cabinet and held up a bottle of scotch in her direction. She shook her

head.“Stillhavenightmaresfrommyspikedeggnog.”

Healmostsmiled,butheturnedfromherandthesoundoftheliquidbeingpouredintothecrystalglass

seemed to thunder in the quiet space. She had no idea if he was going to answer her question or just

changethesubjectorwalkoutoftheroom.Hetookalongdrinkandthenplacedtheemptyglassonthe

endtable.“Yeah.I’mfine.”

“What’s D-Day?” She knew she was pushing, but he wasn’t offering. She felt as though she was so

closetoknowingthisotherEthan,andifshedidn’tuncoverallofhimnowsheneverwould.

Heshovedhishandsinhispocketsandstoodinfrontofthewindows.Hewasalltoweringstrength,at

onewiththebackdropofthecityskyscrapers.

“Igotoaprivatecliniconceayeartogetcompletebloodworkandscansdone.”

“Hasthereeverbeen…Imean,youwereeight?Whathappenedbetweenthenandnow?”

Heliftedonehandtorunthroughhishair.“Ihadtodochemo.Ihadtostayatthehospital.Theusual

crap.”

Tearsprickedatthebackofhereyes.He’dbarelytoldherathing,yethewastellinghereverythingin

his voice, in the hard lines of his stiff body. “But I got through it. Had to take medication for a couple

years to make sure it didn’t come back, had to see doctors for a long time. I don’t think anyone in my

familyactuallythoughtIwasgoingtomakeit.”

“Ethan—”

“Everyone had written me off. The day I was diagnosed was the one that made me different from

Carson, the day my father thought I wouldn’t be worth the time investment because who knew if I’d be

around.”

“Thatcan’tbetrue.”

“Therearethingsaboutmyfamilythattookmeawhiletounderstand.Appearancesareeverything.But

mymotherandfatherhavebeenlivingseparatelivesforyears,andthewholefamilybondthingdoesn’t

really exist. My brother and I aren’t close. After being sick, it created a bigger divide.” He shrugged,

rubbing the back of his neck. “We’re not like you and Dani. We see each other at family functions. He

kissesmydad’sassprimarilysohecantakeoverthefamilybusiness.”Hestoppedtalkingabruptly.

Thevulnerabilityinhisvoicetuggedatheruntilthetearscameback.Sherememberedthepictureinhis

office.“Whataboutthelittlegirlinthepicturewithyou?”

He rubbed his hand over his jaw and squeezed his eyes shut. “Cara. She had a brain tumor. We, uh,

becamereallygoodfriends.Icorruptedher,”hesaidwithalaugh.“Withindaysofbecomingfriends,I

taughtherhowtosneakextradessertsfromthekitchen,andtaughtherhowtorideaskateboarddownthe

hospitalhallway.”

She was trying to smile even though tears were rolling down her face. She swiped them as Ethan

pausedandtookanotherdrink.“Youdohaveawaywiththeladies,”sheattemptedtojoke.

He gave her a little half-smile. “She was in there a lot longer than I was. She had a special…” His

voice trailed off, and he looked down. “Sort of like what you have. That warmth, that special glow. I

guessIrealizedatanearlyagehowtospotawinner,”hesaidwithashortlaugh.“Iaskedhertomarryme

whilewewereeatingcontrabandJell-Ointhekids’lounge.”

Her voice was trapped and she stared at him, already knowing what he was going to say next even

thoughshedidn’twanttohearit.

“Whatdidshesay?”

Onecornerofhismouthcurledup.“Sheagreed,butonlyafterIbeggedforlikeaweek.Ialsohadto

bribeherwithJell-Oeveryday.”

Shelaughedsoftly,picturingthetwoofthem.

Hissmilefell,andhedownedthecontentsofhisglass.“But,uh,Caradidn’tmakeit.”

“I’msosorry,Ethan.”

Hegaveanod,lookingdown.

“Thebracelet?”

Henodded.“ShegaveittomewhenIleftthehospital.”

She was not going to cry again. She wasn’t, even though she thought it was the sweetest thing in the

world.ThinkingofEthanasthislittleboygoingthroughcancerwithindifferentandcoldparentsbroke

herheart.Thewholeimageheportrayedtotheworldwasnotthemanhereallywas.Hehadasensitivity

andcompassionthatmadeherheartache.

“Andtheprayer?”

Heranhishandsdownhisfacewithasigh.“FromNurseAnnie.ApparentlyIwasabitofacontrol

freak,evenatthatpointinmylife.Iwouldinterrogatethedoctorsandnurses,andIwasalwaysreally

worriedaboutCara.Ibasicallydrovemyselfcrazyandthemedicalstaffaswell.”

“Icanimagine,”shesaid,forcingasmallsmile.

“Onenight,Anniecameintomyroomandhandedmethatslipofpaper.Sheaskedmetoreaditaloud.”

“And?”

“Ididn’tgetit.ItoldherIdidn’tbelieveinGod.Myparentsdidn’tbelieveinGod.SoIjustthoughther

prayerwasanicegesture,andIthankedher.”

“Whatdidshesay?”

Hegavethefaintesthintofasmile.“ShesatdownonmybedandsaidthatitwasokayIdidn’tbelieve

inGod,andthatmyfamilydidn’t,andshedidn’twanttomakemefeelbad.Inmyinfinitewisdomatthe

ageofeight,Itoldhernooffensewastaken,andIdidn’tthinkanylessofherforbelievinginfairytales

andomniscientbeings.AndthenItoldherIwouldn’tlethersecretout,becausepeoplemightthinklessof

her.Itwasahospitalfilledwithdoctorsandnursesandeveryonebelievedinscienceandfacts,sohow

could she possibly believe in something that had no scientific evidence? I was worried they’d hold it

againsther.”

Allieshookherhead,smiling.

“Iknow,right?”hesaidtoherwithasmallsmirk.“Talkaboutego.”

“Sowhatdidshesay?”

Hepausedforalongtime,staringupattheceiling,hisAdam’sapplebobbingafewtimesbeforehe

spoke.“Shesaid,firstoff,shewasn’tashamedinwhatshebelievedin,andthatweshouldbeproudof

what we believe, even if others don’t agree. And then she said it didn’t matter if I believed in God or

went to church, but that there are some points in a person’s life when the need to believe in something

bigger,somethinggreater,takesover.Shesaidsometimestheburdenofcarryingitallalonejustgetstoo

great. She said it was okay, she was here for me now, but that when I was on my own again, if I ever

neededcomfortorifIeverlostmywayortheburdenwastoogreat,allIneededtodowasreadthese

wordsandfeelthem,believethem.”

Alliewipedthetearsthatfellontoherface.Whenhiseyeslockedontohers,herheartsqueezedwhen

shesawthetearsthere.

“I never thought I’d believe those words. I never imagined being weak enough to need a prayer or a

beliefinsomethinggreater.”

Shedidn’tsayanything,sensinghewasn’tfinished.

“When I found myself thinking about Cara, I read it. I was scared shitless of dying after I went back

home,andIdidn’tknowwhototalkto.SoI’dgotobedwithherbraceletandwiththeprayer.Itakeit

withmeeveryyearwhenIgoformycheckup.”

“DoyoustillseeNurseAnnie?”

Heshookhishead.“I’veneverbeenback.”

“You’veneverbeenbacktoSickKids?”

“I had to go for follow-ups for a few years, but then after that, no. I just…I don’t want to go back. I

makedonationstothem,butIcan’tbringmyselftorevisitthattimeinmylifewhenIwassovulnerable.I

neverwanttofeelthatagain,Allie.”

Shewantedtowalkovertohimandkisshim.

Shewantedtoholdontothemanhe’dbecome,thelittleboyheoncewas.

Shewantedtokisshimwitheveryounceofloveshefeltforhim.

Shedidn’twanthimtothinkshepitiedhim,butshewantedtowalkuptohimandwraphimupinher

arms.Shewantedtoreachoutandcomfortthelittleboywhomusthavebeensoscared,wholostthelittle

girlhecaredsomuchfor.Shewantedtotellhimitwouldbeokay,thathewouldfindsomeoneelseto

love,andhewouldlivealong,happylife.Butshecouldn’tdothat.Howcouldshetellhimthathewould

find someone else to love? She wanted to be the one he loved. But she wouldn’t say that. Instead, she

stood.Shewalkedacrosstheroom,anditsuddenlyfeltlikehewasmilesawayandeachstepshetook

held some significance other than the obvious. Ethan stood still, as though assessing her motive. His

browneyesweresteadyonhers,theonlymovementintherhythmicclenchingofhisjaw.

Shestoppedwalkingwhenshewasinfrontofhim,closeenoughthatifsheleanedforwardhermouth

wouldreachhim.Allsheknewwasthatshewantedtobeclosetohim.Shetiltedherheaduptolookat

him.Thensheputherhandonhisheart,feelingitsstrongbeat,seeingthevulnerabilityonhisbeautiful

faceashestoodperfectlystillandwatchedher.

“Idon’twantyourpity.”

Shesmiled.“Youdon’thavemypity.Youhavemyadmiration,Ethan,”shewhisperedandthenkissed

thehollowathisthroat.

than looked down at the woman in his arms. She was killing him. He’d just had some sort of

cathartic experience in which he actually made himself vulnerable to her. She had somehow

managedtoshredthroughallhisdefenses,allthewallshe’dbuilt,andstriphimdowntotheessenceof

whohewas.Shekneweverything—almosteverything.Ifsheknewwhowasreallybehindthepurchaseof

herpreciousshelter,she’dwalkrightoutofherewithoutlookingback,probablyafteraswiftkicktohis

ass.

“Allie…”Shetouchedhisfacewithwhatfeltlikecompassion.Heusuallyhatedcompassionbecauseit

wenthandinhandwithpity.Butherkindofcompassionwasdifferent.Hereyeswereallsoft,shiny.Her

handswereonhim,andshewaslookingupathimasthoughsheknewthekindofmanhereallywasand

wantedhimdespiteit.

Hestoppedher,coveringherhandwithhis.Thatwasamistakebecauseshelookedupathim,blueeyes

filledwithdetermination.Herskinwassoftbeneathhis,andthefeelofhersoclosetohimwasmaking

himforgeteverything.He’dfindawaytofixthingslater.

Shestoodonhertiptoes,leanedintohim,andkissedhisneck.“Ethan,”shesaidagainsthisskin.“I’m

sorryforeverysingletimeIturnedyoudown.I’msorryfordoubtingthekindofmanyouare.Justdon’t

saynotome.Youregoismorethancapableofhandlingrejection,butminewouldn’tbeabletotakeit.”

Hewasdone.Hegentlyfistedhishandsinherhair,takingonelastlookather.Herlipswereparted,

lush; her eyes were heated, and he knew there was no going back. “As if I’d ever say no to you,” he

whisperedroughlybeforetakinghermouthinhis.Hekissedherlongandwetanddeep.Hemovedhis

handsfromherhairtohershoulders,trailingdown,tracingherbody.Hepickedherup,andshestraddled

himashecarriedherintohisbedroom,kickingthedoorshutbehindhim.

“Lockit,”shesaidbetweenkisses.

“Goodidea,”hesaidandbackeduptodoso,herlegswrappedtightlyaroundhim.

Hedroppedherontothebedandfollowedherdown.Herfingerstrailedoverhimandheknewthere

wouldbenowalkingawayfromAllie.

llie forgot to breathe as Ethan’s body covered hers. Her head pressed into the pillow, and he

proceededtokissherasthoughhewerestarving.Hekissedherwithanintensitythathadn’tbeen

therebefore.Everyinchofherbodyfeltasthoughhelightedit.

“I’ve wanted you for so long,” he whispered against her skin, his stubble grazing her chin. Then his

hands were at the hem of her sweater and she lifted her arms up, helping him take it off. “You’re

beautiful.”Justthelookinhiseyesmadeheracheformoreofhim.

“Yourturn,”shesaid,andquicklyundidthebuttons,alreadyknowingwhatshe’dfindunderneath.She

splayed open the shirt, her hands trailing down over his hard chest, her fingertips tracing his abs and

stoppingathisbelt.

“We’renotrushing.Wehaven’twaitedthislongtorush,”hesaid,takinghermouthinalong,wet,deep

kissthatleftthembothbreathless.Butdespitehisdeclaration,hishandswereeverywhere,thenhismouth

waseverywhere,andthenalltheirclothesweregone.

“Youfeelsogood,”shewhisperedagainsthismouth.Herhandsglidedoverhiswideshouldersthen

thesculptedmusclesofhisbodytocuphisbutt.Hischestwaswarmandhardagainsthers,butthenhe

wasmovingagain.Hismouthbeganagloriousjourneyandsoonshewasclutchinghisheadtoherashe

lickedhernipple,histonguegrazingthetipandthensuckinguntilshecriedout.Shearchedagainsthim,

feelinghisrockharderectionagainsther,needingmore.

“Ineedallofyou,Ethan,”shewhisperedashisfingertracedherslowly.Shewhimperedashisfinger

slippedinsideher.

“God,you’resowet,Allie,”hemurmuredinherear.

Shewhimpered,reactingtotherawsoundofdesireinhisvoice,totheslow,skilled,movementofhis

fingers.“It’syourfault.Thisiswhathappenswhenwewaitsolong.”

“Iwouldhavedonethisthefirstnightwemet.”

“Andyou’realwaysparadingaroundherehalf-dressed—”

“No,that’swhenyouwerespyingonme.”Shestoppedspeakingbecauseitwastoodifficulttokeepup

withthebanterwhenhismouthandfingerswerereadytosendherovertheedge.“Good,weshouldstop

talkingnow,anyway,”hesaid,becauseapparentlyshe’djustairedherthoughtsaloud.Shearchedherhips

againsthimandwhimpered,beforelightlybitinghisshoulder.

“I’mnotdoingthisalone,Ethan.”

“What?”hesaidagainstherbreast.

“It’snotenough.Iwantyouinsideme,”shewhisperedagainsthislips.Heletgoonlylongenoughto

reachforacondominhisnightstand,andthenhewasback,hismouthonhers,devouringhers,promising

exactlywhathe’ddowhenhewasinsideher.Shefeltasthoughshe’dsnapwiththetightnessshefelt,the

needthatconsumedher.

“God, I want you, Allie.” She looked up at him, the light from the cityscape falling over him,

highlighting just how beautiful he was, how powerful, how perfectly sculpted he was. He slid between

herthighsandwaited,surelytryingtodriveherevenmoreinsane.

He kissed her long, slow, and deep as he entered her. She gasped and gripped his shoulders at the

sensation. He groaned her name as she arched against him, and he angled her hips to his. She met his

thrusts,knowingshewasonthevergeoflosingcontrolcompletely.Shewantedmore,andhegaveitto

her.Hisvoicewaslow,guttural,ashesaidhername;itwasthelastsoundsherememberedashetookher

wheresheneededtobe.Andthenhefollowedher.

Theystayedthere,tangledineachother’sbodies.Afterafewseconds,minutes,shedidn’treallyknow,

Ethanrolledoffher,takingherwithhim.

“Areyousleeping?”shewhisperedafterwatchinghisdeep,evenbreathingforafewminutes.Shelet

hergazewanderoverhim,againadmiringeverythingabouthim.

Hesmiled,hiseyesstillclosed.“Ihavewaitedforyou,Allie,solong.”

Shekissedhisshoulderandrestedherheadonhischest.This.Ethan.Everythingabouthim…sheloved.

ChapterEleven

lliewasfinishingupsomepaperwork,excitedaboutleaving.Itwasalmosttheendoftheday,and

this was the weekend they were going up to Jackson and Hannah’s cabin. She’d missed her best

friendsomuchandwasdyingtoseethekids,too.

Shejumpedattheloudknockonherdoor.Secondslater,Ethanwasalreadyinsideandshuttingthedoor

behindhim.Heproudlyheldupasmall,liveChristmastreeinablackpot.

“What’sthis?”Allieasked,gettingupfromherchair,smiling.

“ThisismeaddingChristmasspirittoyouroffice,”hesaid,placingthepottedtreeinthecornerofher

smalloffice.Apaperbagfelloutofhiscoatpocketandhegrabbedit,lookingslightlymischievousashe

straightenedup.

“What’sthat?”

Hegrinned.“CookiesfromHannah.ButnoneofthisisreallywhyIcamehere,”hesaid,crossingthe

roomandpullingherintohim.ThiswholebeinginarelationshipthingwithEthanwasall-consuming.“I

missed you,” he said against her lips. “And I know this weekend at Hannah and Jackson’s cabin we’re

hardlygoingtogetachancetobealone.”

“Ihaveanopen-doorpolicy,”shesaidagainsthislips.

Hewalkedaroundher,jottedsomethingonaPost-Itnote,andthenwhippedopenthedoor.Heslapped

itonthefrontandthenshutandlockedit.Thenresumedkissingher.

“Whatdidyouwriteonthere?”

Heleaneddowntokissher.“‘Myopen-doorpolicyisstillineffect.JustknockfirstandI’llopenthe

door.’”

Shelaugheduntilsheforgotwhyshewaslaughing.Ethanhadherpressedupagainstthedoor,onehand

cuppingthesideofherface,theotherunderhersweaterandcuppingherbreast.Herphonebuzzed.

“Ignoreit,”hesaid,kissingherearlobe.“It’sJacksonandHannahaskingwhattimewe’regoingup.”

“Whattimearewegoing?”

“Idon’tknowwhywegetropedintogoingthereeveryyear,”hesaid,helpingherasshetriedtoslide

hiscoatoffhisshoulders.Itlandedonthegroundwithathud.

“Ithinkit’sbecausewe’reEm’sgodparents,”shesaid,fiddlingwithhistie.

Heyankeditoffinasecond.“Talkabouttakingadvantageofourgenerosity.”

Shelaughed.“Youlovebeinghergodfather.Youspoilher.”

“Yeah,well,she’scute.Toobadherparentsaresoanalaboutarrangingmealsaroundnaptimes.”He

pulledoffhersweater,theblastofcoldairquicklyreplacedbyEthan.

“Ireallydon’tthinkweshouldbedoingthishere,”shewhispered.

“Thedoor’slocked.Besides,doyouhaveanyappointments?”

“No,”shesaid,herkneeswobblingashestartedatrailofkissesfromhereardownherneck.Thehard

knockonthedoorreverberatedonherbarebackandshejumped.Ethanswore.

“Whatarethefreakingoddsofthis?”

“IknewIshouldn’thavelistenedtoyou!”shesaidashetossedherthesweater.

Hestuffedhistieinhispocketandputhiscoatbackon,grumbling.

“Okay,doIlooknormal?”sheasked,standinginfrontofhim.Theknockingcontinued.

Ethannodded,sittingontheedgeofherdesk.

SheswungopenthedoortofindMaxstandingthere.“HiMax!”Shecringedatthesoundofhervoice,

slightlyshrill,waytoochipper.

Max’s gaze darted from her to over her shoulder. She opened the door wider. “Uh, sorry to bug you

guys…”

“Nah,comeonin.I’mnotsupposedtobehereanyway,”Ethancalledoutbeforeshecouldanswer.Max

looked relieved and walked into the room. He looked comfortable with Ethan, and Allie had a vague

recollectionof the twoof them talkingduring the Christmas treelighting. “I’m goingto head out. Here,

wantacookie?”

AlliethoughtforsureMaxwouldsayno,buthelookedupatEthanandacceptedoneofthecookieshe

washoldingout.“Thanks.Actually,Ikindawantedtotalktoyou,too.Well,Iwasn’tgoingtoasktotalk

toyou…butwasgoingtoaskthroughAllie.”

Ethansatbackdownontheedgeofthedesk,snappingtheheadoffthesnowmancookie.Heheldthe

bag of cookies toward her. She shook her head. She wasn’t taking any of his December cookies. “Go

ahead,Max,”hesaid,afterMaxdidn’telaborate.

MaxlookednervouslyfromhertoEthan.“I,uh,waswonderingifyoumaybehadsomethingIcoulddo

attheoffice.Iknowit’dbeafterChristmasandstuff,andIknowit’donlybepart-timeuntilsummer.ButI

totallygetitifyoucan’t.”

“Done.ComeinonMondayafterschool,andI’llhookyouupwithsomething.Okay?”

Maxdidn’tsayanythingforaminutethenstoodupabruptly.“Really?”

Ethannoddedandprocuredabusinesscardfromoneofhispockets.“Justgotothataddressandaskfor

me.”Heextendedhishand,andMaxshookitwithobviousgusto.

“Thanks,man…Ethan,Imean.OrMr…”

“Ethan’sgood.”

Max nodded again and walked toward the door. He shot Allie a smile that made her heart squeeze.

“Thanks,Allie.”Shesmiledathim.

“I’ll,uh,closethedoorandgo,”hesaid,givingEthanapointedlook.

“W

EthanlaughedsoftlyasMaxsteppedout,shuttingthedoorbehindhim.

AllieturnedtoEthan.“Youaresosweet.Thebest,Ethan,”shesaid,walkinguptohim.Sheexpected

him to gloat playfully, or accept the praise with mischievous arrogance. But instead something flashed

throughhiseyes,andhissmiledippedslightly.

Hepulledherintohisarmsandhuggedher.

aitasecond,”Ethanwhisperedinherear.Insteadofwalkingthroughtheopendoor,heshutitafter

Dani walked through. He pulled Allie into his arms even though it was freezing. They had arrived at

JacksonandHannah’scottage.Hepinnedheragainstthewallandkissedherthoroughly,asthoughithad

killedhimtonothaveprivacyinthecarrideuphere.Sheheldontohimandkissedhimbackuntilthe

doorswungopen.

Ethan’smuffledcurseagainsthermouthmadeherlaugh.“AllIwantedwasafewminutestoourselves

beforethenexttwenty-fourhourambush.”

“Well,you’retoolate.Haulyourassinside.Hannahmadeappetizersandthereareonlytwohoursuntil

Christopher’sbedtime.Hi,Allie.”

Allison’sgazewentfromEthan’shandsomefacetoJackson’s.“Hi,Jackson,”shesaid,pullingoutof

Ethan’sembrace.ShewaslaughingasshewentinsideandEmilyandChristopherranuptoher.Visiting

her best friend and family during the holidays had quickly become her favorite holiday tradition. Even

Danididn’tcomplainaboutit.

“I’msogladyou’rehere,”Hannahsquealed,throwingherarmsaroundher.Allisonhuggedherback.

Howfartheyhadcome.Workingtogetheratthemiserablesocialservicesofficeyearsagoseemedlikea

distantdream.Allisondidmissherfriend,butshewouldn’tbegrudgeheranounceofhappiness.Jackson

hadturnedouttobethebestthingthatcouldhaveeverhappened.OncenicknamedScrooge,heturnedout

tobeaguywithahugeheart,andsheknewtheywereblissfullyhappy.

“Come inside, you need to catch me up on your gossip,” her friend said after Jackson had taken her

coat. Once the kids were busy attacking “Uncle Ethan,” she followed Hannah into the kitchen. The

delicioussmellofturkeyhitherassheenteredthesmallspace.

“OhmyGod,thissmellssogood.”

“Thanks,butyouneedtotellmeallaboutlivingwithEthan.”

Allisoneyedthecontainersofberriesandmarchedovertothem.“CanIwashandhelp?”

“Onlyifyoucantalkatthesametime,”Hannahsaidassheproceededtoslicesomebread.

Allison began dumping the berries into a large colander in the sink. How was she going to explain

somethingshedidn’tevenget?Shecouldn’tmentionthecancerbecausesheknewEthanhadnevertold

anyone. She sprayed the berries with water and struggled for words. After a few minutes, Hannah

appearedathersideandshutoffthewater.

Sheglancedoveratherfriend,whowasstaringather.“Ithinktheberriesareclean.Ethan?”

Not so clean, she thought, immediately thinking of the things he’d whispered to her last night. She

clearedherthroatandtriedtogethermindbackintoneutralterritory.“EthanandIarekindoftogetherin

a—”

Hannah mouthed a scream. “I’ve been hoping for this since the beginning! What changed your mind

abouthim?”

ImagesofEthaninthecondo,thewrappedgifts,thelookonhisfacewhenhefoundoutaboutthefire,

thewayhewaswithDani…thewayhewaswithher.“He’snotwhoIthoughthewas.He’ssweet.And

hot.Soooohot,”shesaidbeforeputtingherfaceinherhands.“I’msoscrewed,Hannah,wewillnever

work.”

Herfriend’slaughterdiedquickly.“Ofcourseyouwill.Idon’tthinkhe’sthekindofguytojustgiveup.

He’shadhiseyeonyousincethewedding,accordingtoJackson.”

Sheglancedoverather.“Wecomefromreallydifferentplaces.Andyeah,Imayhaveunderestimated

thekindofpersonheis,butthatdoesn’tmeanthiswillevergoanywhere…closetowhatyouandJackson

are.”

Hannah didn’t say anything for a moment and Allie knew her friend was trying to come up with a

convincingargument,exceptJacksonwalkedinatthatmoment.

“I’mtoldit’stimeformetogettheturkeyonthetable.Mr.Sampsonsaidhe’lldieifhehastokeep

smellingthefoodandnoteating.”

They both smiled. The elderly couple had become very close to Jackson, Hannah, and the kids and

were like surrogate grandparents. Which was sweet, especially since Hannah and Jackson had no

biologicalfamily.“Okay,pointmehereandthereandI’llhelpputthingsonthetable,”Alliesaid.

Tenminuteslatertheywereseatedaroundtheenormoustable.Itwasasettingstraightoutofahome

and garden magazine. Gold-rimmed china dishes with tiny reindeer prancing around the edges graced

eachplacesetting.Sparklingcrystalandsilverwareandanabundanceofhomemadefoodfilledtherestof

thetable.Theconversationwasloudandboisterous—extraloudbecauseforsomereasontheSampsons

thoughtJacksonhadahearingproblem.Ethan’shandonherkneewasthemostsurprising,anddelicious,

partofthemeal.

hiswholeChristmasgigatJacksonandHannah’swasalwayssomethinghelookedforwardto,but

this year with Allie it was the best. Everything about her was the best. The only thing he hadn’t

figuredoutwastheshelter.Eachdaythatwentbyhefelthimselfgrowmoreandmoretense.

“DidEthantellyouhewentskatingwithAllieatNathanPhillip’sSquare?”

Jackson’sfacesplitintoagiantdumb-assgrin.“Ethanwenttoapublicrink?”

Everyonelaughed.Hekickedhisfriendunderthetable.“Itwasn’tabigdeal.”

“Allie,I’vebeenmeaningtoaskyouwhat’shappeningwiththeshelter.”

Ethan’sstomachdropped.Hell.Thisshouldnotbeatopicofconversation.Hewasn’treadytoanswer

questions. He didn’t have any acceptable answers. He tried to think up something to say, but there was

nothingtosaywithoutlookingsuspicious.

Allisonfrownedandtookasipofwine.“Ugh.No.Thelandlordisstilldeterminedtosell.ThelastI

heardtherearedifferentcondocompanieswaitingtobidonit.NextThursdayiswhenthey’retakingall

offers.”

“I can’t believe they’re going through with it,” Hannah said, filling up her wineglass. “I mean, those

kids…justgettingsecureinasafeenvironmentonlytohaveitrippedoutfromunderthem.”

“What about you, Ethan? I know Allie said you were going to try and see if you could call in some

favors.”

Heclearedhisthroatandattemptedtolietohisbestfriend’swife.“Yeah—”

Allieinterrupted,pattinghishand.“Ethanwasgreat.Heworkedaroundtheclocktryingtohelpout.He

evenvolunteered,andthenthedonation—”

“Itwasnothing,”hesaid,feelinglikeabiggerandbiggerassholethelongerthisconversationwenton.

“You’ve been busy. So you figure out how you’re going to juggle running your dad’s company and

ours?”

EthanshotJacksonwhathehopedwasashutupscowl.

“What?Runningyourfather’scompany?”

EthanglancedoveratAllie.Shehadputdownherforkandwaswatchinghim.Assessing.Heknewshe

mustfinditoddthathewouldn’thavetoldheraboutsomethinglikethat.

“Ethan’smulti-talented,”hisfriendsaid.Heknewhewastryingtohelp.HeknewJacksonwasaware

oftheresentmentandcompetitivenesshefelttowardhisbrother,buthehadnoideawhatwashappening

now, he had no idea that project was Allie’s shelter. “Did you and Hayden ever get together for that

proposalonIslingtonandLakeshore?”

Danigasped.“Whatthehell?”

“Language,”AlliewhisperedtoDani.Thesoundofhervoice…helookedoveratherandflinchedat

the accusation on her face, but she didn’t say a word. She was presumably waiting for him to say

something.Jacksonhadnoideawhatwasgoingon.

“What’swrong?I’mnotfollowing,”Hannahsaid.

Alliewaswatchinghim,doubtcloudinghereyes.“Idon’tknow.MaybeEthancantellus?Thisdoesn’t

make any sense. Just because that’s where the shelter is, doesn’t mean we’re talking about the same

project.Right?”

Jacksonmumbledacurseunderhisbreath.Ethanfoughtforthewordsthatwouldmakehisexplanation

sound okay. He glanced around the table and knew there wasn’t one person seated there who would

understandthis.Hell,hebarelyunderstooditanymore.

“Ethan?”Alliewhisperedinavoicethatbrokehisdamnheart.

Heclearedhisthroat.“It’snotexactlywhatyou’rethinking.Yeah,technicallyIenteredintoabidfor

theproperty—”

“ThepropertybeingHavenHouse,”Danisaid.

His jaw clenched and he looked her squarely in the eyes, cringing at how pissed she looked at him.

“Yes.HavenHouse.”

Hannahgasped;Danisworeunderherbreath.Alliedidn’tsayaword.Helookedather,butsheturned

away from him. He felt like his insides had just been twisted. Disgust with himself pummeled through

him,andhewonderedhowthehellhe’deverbeabletomakeAllieunderstand.

“Ididn’twanttobeapartofthisproject,butitwasafamilydeal.I’vebeentryingtocomeupwitha

workaround.Movingthesheltertoanotherlocation—”

“Andyouweregoingtotellmethiswhen?”Alliestilldidn’tlookathimwhensheaskedthequestion.

“WhenIhaditallfiguredout.”

Shestoodabruptly,andhecaughtherchairbeforeittumbled.ShestormedoutofthehouseandEthan

ranhishandsthroughhishair.Hehadtogoafterher.

“Holycrap,man.Whatthehellwereyouthinking?”

Ethanshookhisheadandwalkedoutthefrontdoorwithoutlookingatanyofthem.

Allie was standing on the porch, her back to him, but he heard the sniffles, and the sounds tugged at

everything in him. She slowly turned around, her gaze filled with such hurt and anger that he winced,

puttinghishandsinhispockets.Ifhedidn’t,he’dmakeanattempttoreachoutandtouchher.Heknewat

that moment, even though it was far too late for the discovery, that disappointing Allie was so much

fuckingworsethanlosingtohisbrother.

“IhavenothingtosaytoyouexceptIwanttobelieveyoucouldn’tbetheonebehindthis.Thismakes

nosensetome.Tellmesomething;givemeanythingthatcouldmakethisright.Iwanttobelievethatyou

couldn’tdothis.”

“It’strue,Allie,butIneversetouttoclosetheshelter.Hell,Ididn’tevenknowwhatthebuildingwas

at first. I was given an opportunity to have a shot at the family business. If I didn’t take it, my brother

wouldgetit.”

“So?Sowhat?”

“Icouldn’tletthathappen.IvowedI’dneverlethimwinagain.I’dneverlethimbestrongerthanme.

He’sgottenwhateverhewantedsincewewerekids.Hewrotemeoffandtookwhatshouldhavebeen

equallymine.”

“Sothisiswheretherichgetricherandyouditcheveryoneyoulove—everyonewhomeanssomething

toyou,formoney?”

Everymuscleinhisbodyachedashelistenedtoherandlookedather.Loved.Yeah.Helovedher.He

knewitnow.Hehadalwaysknownshewasspecial,butnowhewasinlovewithher,too,andhewas

killingher.“It’snotaboutmoney.It’saboutwinning,showingthemthatI’mstrongandrelevant.”

Shepausedforasecond.“Ifeelbadforwhatyouwentthrough,forhowyourfamilyreacted,andhow

theyweren’tthereforyou.Igetit,butnomatterwhatyoudoitwon’tchangethem.Youcanchange,you

canbesomeonewhocanchangethelivesofsomanypeople.”

“Iknewthiswassomethingyouwouldn’tunderstand.”

“IunderstandIwasrightaboutyoufromthebeginning.Youlackfeeling.You’reabletoshutthingsoff

inordertogetwhatyouwant.Youhaven’treallyletmein.Ifyoucaredaboutme,youwouldnevereven

contemplate doing something like this. If you had empathy, you would never shut those kids down like

that.”

Shesplayedherarmswide,agustoffrigidairblowingoutfromhermouthintothedarksky.“I’llgoin

andtellthosekidsattheshelterthatthefirstreal,safehomethey’veeverhadisnowlosttothembecause

somespoiled,richbrothersaresquabblingoverdaddy’scompany.I’msurethey’llunderstand.AndMax

andDeniseandeveryoneelseyoumanagedtocharm?I’msurethey’llforgiveyou.”

Heranhishandsoverhisjaw.“Youknowthisismorethanthat.”

“Really?Idon’tknowanythingrightnow.Howlonghaveyouknown?”

Helookedintohereyes.Theleastshedeservedwasthetruth,eventhoughitwasgoingtobreakher

down.“Sincethedayyoucametolivewithme.”

Thesoundthatescapedhermouthwasheartbreaking.Hetookasteptowardher,andsheheldupher

hands.Hestoppedwherehewasandwatchedasshesankdowntoherknees.Hethoughtshewasgoingto

cry,andthatwouldhavekilledhim.Instead,sheleaneddownandgatheredupagiantsnowboulderand

turnedtohim.Shewasgoingtochuckitathim,andhejuststoodthere.Excepttheboulderbrokeinher

armsandshesquealedasshebecamecoveredinsnow.Hesighedandtriedtohelpherwipeitoffherself.

Sheswattedhishandsaway.“Ineverwanttofeelyourhandsonmybodyagain.”

“Allie.”

“No.Andifyouwereanykindofdecentperson,youneverwouldhavesleptwithmeinthefirstplace.

Youneverwouldhaveletmehave…feelings.Younevershouldhavepretendedtobethisgreatguyand

saidallthosethings.”

“Imeanteverything.”

“Youlied to me. You put yourself and your own needs ahead of all of ours. I was owed, at the very

least,thetruth.”

Heknewhe’dlosther.Therewasnocomingbackfromthis.Heshouldhavelistenedtohimselfright

fromthebeginningandleftheralone.Henevershouldhavetouchedher.Heshouldn’thavekissedherthat

nightonthesidewalk.Nevershouldhavetastedherorgottenlostinher,becausenowheknewwhatitfelt

liketoloveAllie,andhewasabouttodiscoverwhatlifewaslikewithouther.

“Thisdoesn’thavetobeblackandwhite.Icanmakeituptoyou.Icanbuythosekids—”

“Nothing.Youcan’tbuyyourwayoutofthis.Youcan’tbuylove.Iwillnotmakeexcusesforyou.I

willnotbewithapersonwhocan’tputlovefirst.Allmylife,Ihavebeensecond,ifI’mlucky.Ihave

neverbeenanyone’snumberone.IhavemadeexcusesforthepeopleIloved.Ihavetakenwhateverthey

have been willing to give me. No more. I loved you; I believed in you. Nothing you can buy will ever

makeupforthefactthatyoulied,thatyouwillinglyfedyourneedtowinandputthataheadofeverything.

You didn’t even come to me and confide in me and try and come up with a way to solve this. You just

went after everything you wanted and thought pathetic Allie would take whatever scraps you threw at

her.”

“Don’tsaythat.”

She swiped angrily at the tears that poured out of her eyes. “I’m more loyal than Hook. When I love

someone,Ilovethemcompletely,witheverythingthatIam.Ilovedyou,Ethan.Iwouldhavegivenyouall

ofme.”Shecoveredherfacewithherhandsandhemovedforward,tryingtopullherinhisarms.Hewas

freakingdyinginside.Shelovedhim.Shelovedhimsomuch,andhe’dfuckedupbadly.Sheshovedhim

awayandglaredathim.

Sheheldoutherhand.“Givemeyourkeys.”

“What?”

“Givemeyourkeysandatleastletmeleave.Ican’tstayhereandpretend.”

“No,youguysstay.I’llleave.”

Shestoppedforamomentandsqueezedhereyesshut.“Fortherecord,Iregreteverything.Iregretever

trustingyou.ItakebackeverythingIsaidaboutyoucomingthroughforme.Ifyoucaredaboutmeasmuch

asyousayyoudid,you’dneverjustendthingsrightnow.IfyouweretheguyIthoughtyouwere,you’d

getyourshittogetherandrealizethatwhatyou’redoingiswrong.You’driskanythingforme.”

“Allie—”

“Saveit,”shewhisperedandwalkedbackinside.

Ethanstoodinthesnowfeelingaheaviness,anacheinsidehimthathehadneverfeltbefore.Thedoor

slammedshutandthenreopenedaminutelater.Dani.

“Hey!Ethan!”

God.Shecamerunninguptohim,allhundredpoundsofattitudeandderision.

“Whatthehellwasthat?You’resuchahypocrite!Yousattheregivingmelecturesonhowtotreatmy

sister.NoamountofattitudeIgavehercomesclosetothis.Youtotallybetrayedher.You’resuchajerk!

Shetrustedyou.”

“I’msorry.I’mgoingtofixthis.”

“Youcan’tfixthis.Screwyouforpretendingtobeoneofthegoodguys,”shesaid.Hervoicebroke

andtearsrandownherface.Shewipedthemawayangrilyandthenslammedherheelintohistoebefore

walkingaway.

Hewasalmostathiscarwhenanothervoicecalledouthisname.Hestoodthereandwaitedashisbest

friendroundedthefrontofhiscar.SinceJackson’sfrontyardwaslituplikeVegas,hewasabletoseethe

surpriseinhisface.“Whatthehell,Ethan?”

Ethanshrugged.“Whatdoyouwantmetosay?Ihadnochoice.”

“That’s stupid. Everyone has choices. You took the asshole choice and decided to backstab the only

goodwomaninyourlife.”

Heheldontohisfriend’sangrystareforanotherminuteandthenlookedaway.SincewhenhadJackson

become the reasonable, sensible one in their relationship? “I needed to stick it to Carson. I needed to

screwhimoverandprovethatI’mbetterandsmarterthanhim.”

“Areyoufuckingfiveyearsold?”

“Youwouldn’tunderstand,soshutup.”

“I get that somewhere in that messed up head of yours you thought you could go ahead and have this

relationshipwithAllie,whoissoinlovewithyou,evenIcanseeit,andthengobehindherbackandbe

thepersonclosingdownthesheltershe’spouredherheartinto.”

“Itdidn’thavetogodownlikethis.Ihavesomethingelseforthosekidslinedupandyouknowwhat,

Jackson?Whothehellareyoutojudgeanyway?IrememberwhenHannahfirstcameintoyourlifewith

Emily.”

“Nope.NotevenclosetobeingthesamethingbecauseIrealizedIwaswrong—way,wayearlierthan

you.Hell,Idon’tevenknowifyougetitnow.”

Ethanresistedtheurgetopunchhisbestfriendintheface.Hecouldn’t.Itwouldn’tbefairtoHannah

andthekidsiftheirdadwentbackinsidewithablackeye.“Ineedtogetoutofhere.TellHannahI’m

sorryaboutdinner.”

ChapterTwelve

thanpausedamomentashesteppedoutoftheelevatorandintothehallway.Perspirationtrickled

downhisback,andhispalmsfeltsweaty.Thesesymptomswereusuallysavedforhisonceayearat

theclinic,butthelastfewdayshe’dbeenfeelingallkindsofcrazythingsbecauseofAllie,orbecausehe

didn’thaveheranymore.

Beforeherhethoughthe’dhadeverythingfiguredout.Heknewwhathewantedoutoflifeandhewas

happywiththepersonhe’dbecome,theaccomplishmentshe’dachieved.Butnow,sinceher,he’dcometo

realizehedidn’tknowshit,really.Theguyshewantedhimtobe,hewantedtobeaswell,buthehada

fewthingstogetdonefirstbeforehecouldproveittohimselfandtoher.

He took a deep breath, rolled his shoulders, and walked into the hospital wing that was named after

him.Hepulledthetrolleybehindhimashewalkedforwardtofacehispast.Thehustleandbustlewasthe

same as he remembered, but that was about it. The place had changed since he was a kid. He wrote a

check once a year—the first year a massive one, which had resulted in the wing being in his name.

Becausewritingacheckwaseasierthanactuallyvisiting,puttinghimselfoutthere.

He didn’t know what he was doing here, but he did know that it had something to do with finally

comingtopeacewithhispast,withthekidhe’dbeen,andfinallymovingforward.Itwastimeforhimto

letgoofthis,andthiswasthecatalystforthedistanceandproblemshe’dhadwithhisbrotherandfamily

since.

Thesmellofcleaningproductsfilledhisnoseashiseyeslandedonagroupofkidssittinginacircle,

listeningtoawomanreadabooktothem.TherewasabigChristmastree,andthekidsweresittingona

rug. The woman looked like a volunteer. His gut clenched and waves of heat rushed through him as he

focusedonthekids,acouplewiththosedamnscarveswrappedaroundtheirheads.Hewantedtorunout

ofhere,onthetreadmill.Buthe’dbeenrunninghiswholelife,awayfromemotion.

Hedidn’tknowwhatmadehimcomeheretoday.MaybeitwaslosingAllie,ormaybeitwasbecause

hedidn’tgivearat’sassaboutthecondodealanymore.Hedidn’tknow…anything,exceptthathemissed

Allie more than anything or anyone in his entire life. And he knew that if he stood a chance in hell at

gettingherback,hewasgoingtohavetofigureouttheshitinhispast.So,thatwaswhathewasdoing

here.Hewasgoingtodealwiththekidhewas.Hedidn’tlikefacingit:thememories,thefear.

Hewalkedovertothestorycenter,listeningtothevolunteer’ssoftvoiceasshereadTheNightBefore

Christmas. Her voice was melodic, following the rhythm perfectly, her smile comforting as she’d look

outatthekids.Heswallowedpastthelumpinhisthroat,rememberinghowitfelttobehereatChristmas,

sittingonthatrug.Orlyinginhishospitalroom,wonderingifSantawouldfindhimthere.Heremembered

the letter he’d mailed him, giving him his new, temporary address. A little blonde girl giggled and the

soundranthroughhim,pickinguptracesofCara’slaughter,kickingupmemoriesofher.

He’d convinced Cara to write a letter to Santa as well. Christmas morning, he’d woken to his nanny

placingabunchofgiftsbyhisbedandknewhewasdoomed.IftherewasnoSanta,hiswishwouldn’tbe

comingtrue.Hisparentsdidn’tbelieveinanyhigherpower;hehadn’teverprayedasecondinhislife.

Allheknewatthatmomentwasthathewasonhisown.HerandownthehalltoCara’sroomandfound

herstillsleeping,onlyonegiftbesideherbed.SohegrabbedastuffedbearfromhispileandaNerfgun,

andplaceditwithhers.Hesatbesideherwhilesheslept,thinkinghewouldn’ttellherSantawasafake,

thinkingonedayhe’dgetmarriedtoherwhentheywerebothbetterandallgrownup.Inthemeantime,

he’dteachherhowtousetheNerfgun.ThatwasthelastChristmashesawher.

Ahandonhisarmknockedhimbackintothepresent,andhelookeddownattheelderlynurse.Ittook

him a moment, a long moment, but the shiver that raced up his spine, the goose bumps that ran rampant

overhim,toldhimwhoshewas.Herfadedblueeyesstilltwinkledandheldmorewarmthinthemthana

hotchocolate.

“I was hoping I’d get a chance to see you today. I knew you were coming,” she whispered, her hand

stillonhisarm.

He couldn’t speak, because in his throat were all the words he couldn’t voice, didn’t know how to

express.Instead,heleaneddownandhuggedthewomanwho’dshownhimmorekindnessthanhisown

parents. He had to squeeze his eyes shut for a moment as he held her in his arms. “Nurse Annie,” he

finallymanaged.

Shepulledback,beaming,holdingontohisarms.“Lookatyou,allgrownup.Iknewyou’dbebackto

seeme.AndIknewyou’dbeaheartbreaker.”

Heforcedasmileonhisface.Yeah.Heartbreakerwasright.Hebroketheheartofawomanassweet

asAllie,andforthathewouldhavetorepent.“I’vegotsomepresentsIthoughtI’ddeliver.”

Shelookedatthedollybehindhimandnodded.“I’llhelpyouputthemunderthetree,butwhenwe’re

done, you’re buying me a coffee in the cafeteria, and then you’re going to tell me how life has been to

you.”

HalfanhourlaterhewassittingacrossfromAnnieinthecafeteria.Theyhadfoundawindowseatand

she’dfinishedshowinghimpicturesofhergrandchildren.

“Luckykids,”hesaid,smiling.

She took a sip of her coffee. “Why don’t you tell me about you, Ethan? No wedding band I see. I

would’vethoughtyou’dbemarriedwithatruckloadofkids.”

Heshookhisheadandputhiscoffeedown.“Haven’treallymadethatapriority.”

“Hmm…asIrecallyoudidn’thaveaproblemproposingtowomenornottakingnoforananswer.”

Yeah,excepthe’dpissedofftheonlywomanhe’deverproposeto.“Well,Ididfindsomeone,butuh,

I’mnotreallysureIcanmakeitwork.”

Sheleanedforwardandgavehimthesamelookshedidwhenshesuspectedsomeonehadbeenstealing

Jell-O.“Can’torwon’t?”

HeavertedhisgazeandfocusedontheChristmastreeinfrontofthewindow.“Shehas…ideals…”

“Usuallythat’satraitpeopleadmire,”shesaidwithadeepfrown.

“Iknow.Sheremindsmeofyou.”

Shewaggedafingerathim.“Don’tgotryingtocharmmewithyourflattery.TellmewhatyoudidsoI

canguideyoubacktoher,Ethan.”

Helaughedandgroanedatthesametime.Hetoldherthedetailssurroundinghisfather’scompetition,

andshesatthere,silentforalongtime.

“Didyoutellyourfatherwhatthiswouldmeanforyou?ForAllie?”

Heknewshewouldn’tunderstand.“That’sirrelevanttohim,Annie.Businessandpersonaldon’tmix.”

“Sothen,howareyoufeeling?Doyoufeelasthoughyoumadetherightchoice?Youliedtoawoman

youlovedeeply,youmadefriendswiththekidsattheshelter,andthenyoubackstabbedallofthemby

puttingyourownpersonalneedsfirst.Howisthatworkingforyou,Ethan?”

Heranhishandsdownhisface.“Shit,Annie,you’restillaball-breaker.”

Shechuckedacookieathim.“Youshouldhavebeenbackheretovisitmesooner.Iwouldhavesetyou

straightbeforeyouscrewedeverythingup.”

He took a bite of the cookie she threw at him, not even enjoying it. He didn’t enjoy anything without

Allie.Hemissedherinhishouse;hemissedherinhisbed.Hemissedvisitingherattheshelter.Hell,he

wasmiserable.

“Comefollowme,andthenIneedtogetbacktomyshift.”

Theywalkedoutthelobbyandthroughthefrontdoors.Itwassnowing,thedaydarkanddamp.Annie

wasmadeofsteel,barelyashiverasshewalkedtoaquietspotnearatallspruce.“Nothinglikeasnowy

day,theanticipationofChristmasintheair,”shesaid,breathingdeeplyandlookingupatthesky.Ethan

didn’twanttotellherthiswasactuallycrapweatherdespitethetimeofyear.Heshovedhishandsinhis

pockets.

“Doyouremembertheprayer?”Annieaskedafterafewminutesofwatchingcarsdriveby.

Hisstomachdropped.Henodded.

Sheturnedtohim,jawset.“Thensayit.”

“Saywhat?”

“Thewords.”

“Now?”

Shenodded.Hesighedroughly.

“Annie…”

“Ethan.”

“GodgrantmetheserenitytoacceptthethingsIcannotchange,couragetochangethethingsIcan,and

thewisdomtoknowthedifference.”

Shedidn’tsayanythingforalongmoment,asheenenteringhereyes.Heattemptedtoclearhisthroat;

heknewthebothofthemwerethinkingofthatnight,ofCara.Anniehadreadittohimthatnight.Hehad

neverreadthewordsoutloud.

Shetookholdofhishand.Hesqueezeditgently,notinghowmuchfraileritfeltthanwhenhe’dbeena

kid.“Makeituptoher,Ethan.Don’tloseher.”

undaybrunchathisparents,theweekbeforeChristmas;thisonewouldgodownintherecordbooks.

Maybe a part of him never really wanted to know. Maybe a part of him was comfortable in not

knowingornotfeeling.

Hetookasipoforangejuiceandstaredacrossthetableathismother,father,andbrother.

“Readyfortomorrow’spresentation,Ethan?”

HesmiledatCarson,readytogetthisdoneandoverwith.ReadytoripofftheBand-Aid.“Actually,I

wantedtotalktoyouaboutthat,Dad.”

Hisfatherlookedupfromhisplateofsmokedsalmonandfruitsalad.

“I know you’re putting in your offer tomorrow, and I’d like to ask you to change the usage of the

building.”

Hisfatherfrowned.“Gettothepoint.”

“Iwantyoutokeepitasashelter.”

Carsonchokedonhisorangejuice.

“That’sabsurd.WhywouldIdothat?”

“There’sashelter—”

“I’mnotabouttooutbidalltheotherdevelopersonlytohouseashelter.That’ssuicideandmakesno

businesssensewhatsoever.Iwouldneverpaythatkindofmoneyforashelter.”

Ethanknewthiswasalongshot.Heknewitdidn’tmakebusinesssense,heknewthekindofmoneyit

wasgoingtotaketobethehighestbid.“ThenI’maskingyouasapersonalfavor.”

Everyonestoppedeating.Hismotherlookedconcerned.Hisfatherlookedpissed.Carsonlookedsmug.

“Youdidn’tgettheproposaldone,didyou?”Carsonasked,leaningbackinhischair,tiltingitononly

twolegs.Ethanresistedtheurgetoshoveitover,ashe’ddoneonnumerousoccasionsinhisyouth.

“Whyonearthwouldyouaskmethat?”

Ethanturnedtohisfatherandtriedtoputthiswholefeelingsthingtouseinafamilythathadnone.“I’m

inlovewithawomanwhoworksattheshelter.”

“Thisispriceless.You’reinlovewithahomelessperson!”Carsontippedhischairbackfarther,hands

intheair.Ethannudgedtheoneleg,pushingitoverandwatchedwithsatisfactionashisbrothertipped

backward.

“Boys,pleasestop,”hismothersaidasCarsonsworeandrightedhimself.

“Firstoff,she’snothomeless,sheworks there. Secondly, the kids in that place are trying to get their

livesstraightenedout.Theylacksecurityandtoforcethemoutiscruel.”

“Sothisworkerputyouuptothis?”

Ethanstaredathisfather’sdispassionateface,notanounceofemotioninhiseyesandthoughtofAllie

andherabundanceofemotion.ThenightatJacksonandHannah’swhenshethrewsnowathim,whenshe

basicallylookedathimasthoughshehadnoideawhohewas,certainlynotwithanyofthewarmthfrom

before.“Shedidn’tputmeuptoanything.I’mherebecauseIrealizedtheonlyreasonIwentalongwith

thisisbecauseIwantedtobepartofthefamilybusiness,butnotenoughtoignorewhat’sright.”

His mother put down her napkin, her face pulled into a frown as far as the Botox would allow. “My

dear,therewasalwaysaplaceforyou.”

“No,therewasn’t.Iwasbasicallyignoredafterwhathappened…whenIhadcancer.”

Hisfatherdidn’tsayanything,hisjawjustclenched.Atleastthemanwasn’taliar.

“Regardlessofwhatyouthink,Ican’tdowhatyou’reaskingofme.”

Ethan stared into his father’s face, his features remarkably similar to his own. “I’ll ask you one last

time,forme,asyourson,pleasedon’tgothroughwiththedevelopmentproject.”

His father broke his stare, cut a piece of smoked salmon, looped a red onion around his fork, and

looked up at him. “No, and never ask me something so pathetic again. Weakness like that will get you

killed in business.” Ethan studied his father, looking for an ounce of softening. He hadn’t changed. If

havingachildwithcancerdidn’tchangeyou,thennothingcould.It’snotthathesoughtcomfortfromhim,

or that he expected him to become all schmaltzy, but maybe a moment of entertaining the idea or really

listeningtohim.

Iftheycouldsoeasilydismisshisrequest,thenhe’dbeforcedtodothesame.

than sat in his car outside his parent’s house and dialed Nicholas Wright’s phone number. Having

friendsinalltherightplacescameinhandy.YoucouldcallonSundaysandnotbebilled.“Nick,I

needthenameofthebestcommercialrealestateagentyouknow.”

“Why?”

“I’mnotgoingthroughwiththeproposal.I’mgoingtoputinmyownbid.”

“Againstyourdad’scompany?”

“Yeah. I’d love to chat, but I need to move on this tomorrow. I need an agent who can put this deal

togetherformenow.”

Nicholassighed.“There’sonlyoneagentthatcomestomind.She’sthebestofthebest.Hotbutreally

irritating,andI’mforcedtoworkwithherwaymore—”

“Idon’thavetimetohearyouranalysisofthiswoman.Textmeherdetails,”hesaidandendedthecall.

Assoonasthetextcamethrough,hetookthenextstepinmakingallofthisright,ingettingAllieback.

“I

ChapterThirteen

’mnottellingthem.Irefuse.EventhoughIknowit’sinevitable,Ithinkweshouldwaituntilafterthe

holidays.TheyneedtohaveagoodChristmas,”Alliesaid,clearingmoredishesfromtheemptytables.

Thefactthatshewasevencoherentwasamiracle.

Every single moment since Ethan had basically ripped her heart out of her chest and stomped on it,

she’dbeentornbetweencryingandyellingatherselfforbeingsostupid.Evenhersisterwasbeingnice

to her because she felt so sorry for her. After their night at Hannah and Jackson’s she went back to the

condo, grabbed their things, and found a decent hotel with a weekly rate. She had found them a new

apartment,andtheywerereadytomoveinnextweek.JustintimeforChristmas.Yay.

“You’reright.We’llkeepthisquietuntilaftertheholidaysareover.Areweallsetwiththepresents?”

Allienodded.“Yup.”Alliewatchedhersisterlaughinthegatheringroomwithsomeoftheotherkids.

ShewashappyDaniwasheretonight,keepinghercompany.Again,anothersignhersisterpitiedher.

The bell at the front desk rang, and she followed Denise out. Even when it was late at night they

accepted new teens. Sometimes it was the most popular time, especially in the winter. The thought of

anothernightonthestreetwithfrigidtemperatureswasthefinalthingthatbroughtthemin.Butitwasn’ta

teen.

ItwasEthan.

Shewascompletelyimmunetotheman,shetoldherself.Hewasstandingtherewithboxesandboxes

filled with wrapped gifts. She crossed her arms. Denise inhaled sharply and then walked forward and

poked him in the chest. “Are these the gifts you plan on handing out before you take everyone’s house

awayfromthem?”

Hesmiled.Hewaswearingjeansandahoodie,andhehadstubble.AndtherattyBlueJayscap.His

eyessparkledand,ohGod,shewassuchaliarfortellingherselfshewasimmunetohim.Eventhoughit

was“WeekendEthan”andhewasherfavoriteEthan,sherefusedtoacknowledgethewayherheartbeat

likeanoutofcontroldrum.

“No.Theyarestaying.Theshelterisstaying.”

Denisegasped.

Alliestaredathim,wantingsomuchtobelievehimbutneedingmore.“Howisthatpossible?”

“Iputinabid,onmyown.Ioutbidmybrother.”

Tearsblurredhervisionforamoment.Sheblinkedthemaway.“Whatdoesthatmean?”

“Itmeansittookmealittlelongerthanitshouldhavetocomeupwithasolution,butitwastheonly

solution, because not having you in my life wasn’t an option for me. And being a guy obsessed with

revengeisn’tanoptionforme.Havingyoudisappointedinmekilledme.Notwakinguptoyou,notgoing

tobedwithyou…notanoption.”

“Youseemprettyconfidentthereforaguywhoroyallyscrewedup.”

Hegrinnedandwalkedtowardher.“Iwillspendtherestofthenightandtherestofmylifemakingitup

toyou.IknowIdisappointedyou,andIletyoudown.”

She was a blubbering mess now, and it was impossible to go from pretending she hated the man to

professingherundyinglovetohim.“Youkilledme.Youmademebelievethatallmyinstinctshadbeen

wrong.Youmademetrustyou,youmademethinkyouhadmybackandthenyoujustbetrayedme,Ethan.”

ShewasvaguelyawareofDeniseshuttingthediningroomdoorbehindherandleaving.Shecoveredher

facewithherhands,andEthanwhisperedhernameinadelicious,gravellyvoice.Hepulledherintohis

armsandkissedthetopofherhead.“Iloveyou,Allie,andI’vegotyourbackforever.”

“Didyoureallybuythisplace?”shemumbledagainsthim.

Shefelthimnod.

“Yougothosedwiththeprice,didn’tyou?”

“Completely.WorstfinancialinvestmentI’veevermadeinmyentirelife.Bestpersonalonethough,by

alongshot.”

Shewrappedherarmsaroundhimtightlyandlookedup.Hishandssoftlyframedherface.“It’sgoingto

takealotmorethanoverpayingformetowinbackyourtrust,isn’tit?”

Shestudiedhim,thetruthinhiseyes,thelove.Sheshookherheadandsmiled.“Ithinkyou’veproven

yourself.”

Heleaneddownandkissedher,anditfeltlikeshe’dbeenwithouthimforyears,whenithadonlybeen

days. Ethan had somehow found his way inside her soul and heart. He was the rock she had always

wanted,thepersonwhowouldcomethroughforherintheend.Sheknewwhatithadmeantforhimtolet

goofhisgrudge,tofinallyallowhimselftobethepersonhewasmeanttobe.Hekissedheruntilshewas

weakinthekneesandforgotthatshewasinHavenHouse.“Iloveyou,”hewhisperedagain.

“Iloveyou,too,”shesaid,finallysayingthewordsthatfeltsoright.

“OhmyGod,Allieareyouinsane?”

AlliegroanedandsetherforeheadonEthan’sshoulder.Hersister.

EthanslowlyturnedaroundtofaceDani.Maxwasstandingbesideher,scowling.“Dani,beforeyougo

attackingme,youshouldknowIfixedeverything.Thisplaceisn’tclosing.”

Dani didn’t say anything for a moment, and Allie waited for some smart-ass comment, but it didn’t

come.Maxwaslookingather,clearlynotknowingwhattodo.FinallyDanispoke.“Well,good.I’mglad

youfigureditout…”Hervoicetrailedoffforasecond,andAlliecaughtthefaintquiverinhersister’s

chin.“I’m…youcamethroughforAllie,andsheneededthat.You.Sheneedsyou.”

Ethanbrokeoutintoagrin,andAlliewasshockedwhenhersisterranupandgavehimahug.“And

goodmovecominginherewithgifts.”

Ethanlaughed,pullingback.“Yeah,Ifiguredthegiftsmightgooverwell.”

“IwantyoutoknowI’mreallyhappyEthandidn’tturnouttobeatotaldouchebag,”Danisaid.

Allienodded,“Thanks.Metoo.”

“Andit’scoolthathedidallthis,likethegiftsandstuff.IthinkhewrappedthemhimselfbecauseIsee

buncheduptapealloverthesides.”

Allielaughed.“Yeah,buthegetsanAforeffort.”

“YouknowI’mstillstandinghere,right?”Ethanasked.

“I,uh,thinkI’llgoopenpresents,”Maxsaidawkwardly.“Allie?”

HerheartsqueezedatthesoundofMaxusinghernameforthefirsttime.Shereignedinherfeelingsand

nodded.

“I’mgladthingsworkedoutforyouguys.”

“Thanks,Max.”

Heshruggedandlefttheroom.

“I’ll be back in a second,” Ethan said, kissing her. “I want to make sure those gifts get distributed

properly.”

“Ethan’sreally cool,” Danisaid, after Ethanleft the room. Shewas arranging herlong hair over one

shoulderandthenrunningherfingersthroughit.Allieeyedhersister.Somethingwasup.

“I’mgladyouapprove.”

Hersistergaveheradistractedsmile,andAlliecouldseeshewashidingsomething.

“AndI’mreallyhappyyouguysaretogetheragain.”

“And?”

Dani let out a sigh. It wasn’t her usual theatrical sigh. This one seemed genuine, and her lips were

downturned.

“Hey,Dani.Tellme,what’sup?”

“Nothing.”Shelookeddownatherfeet.“Idon’twanttohavetogobacktomom’s,youknow?ButI

will,Imean,like,ifEthandoesn’twantmearound.”

Alliefelttearsatthebackofhereyes.Daninevershowedvulnerability.“You’remysister,andifyou

thinkI’djustditchyou—”

“You’refamily,Dani.”Ethanwasstandinginthedoorway,hisbrowneyesfilledwithtendernessashe

lookedatheryoungersister.“Youstaywithus,evenifIhavetogetanotherjobtosupportyourshopping

habits.”

Hersistersmiledslightlyandlookedoverathim.“Idon’twanttobethelosermoochthatyou’reforced

to support. Though if you are having financial difficulties, it’s probably due to the fact that you totally

overpaidforthisplace.”

He laughed. “I think I’ll manage, and we can’t exactly kick you to the curb. You’ve gotten used to a

certainlifestyle,andI’vegottenusedtohavingyouaround.”

Hersistercrossedherarmsandjuttedherchinout.“Yeah,IguessIkeepyouguysyoung.”

Ethangrinned.“IfIhadalittlesisterIthinkI’dwanthertobeaball-breakerlikeyou.”

Hersisterbrokeoutintoagrin.“Mysisterhasturnedyouintoasap.”

Heshrugged.“Maybe,butthat’sokay.IthinkI’mready.”

thanwaitedforAllietogethercoat.Theyweregoinghome,andhecouldn’twaittohaveheralone.

Hehadn’tsleptindays,buthefeltalive,andsodamngood.Maybethat’swhathappenedwhenyou

madetherightdecisionsandpeopleyouactuallylovedsurroundedyou.Feelingsweren’toverrated.Huh.

“Yo,Ethan?”

EthanturnedaroundtolookatMax.Thekidlookedbetter,lesslikeadelinquentandmorelikeatypical

teenager.“IwantedtosaythanksfortheiPad.Thatwasprettycoolofyou.”

Ethanshrugged.“You’rewelcome.Gladyoulikeit.”

“AlliehadsaidweallgetChristmaspresentshere.Thatwascool.Ididn’tknowwhattoexpectwhenI

camehere,youknow?Like,there’slotsofrulesandshit,butit’sbetterthanwhereIcamefrom.”

AlumpformedinEthan’sthroat.MyGod,hewasbecomingagiantsap,maybeevenasbigasJackson

now.“Don’tforgettocomebymyofficeifyoustillwantthatjob.”

Max nodded, the expression on his face making his gut clench. The kid looked so damn surprised,

almostoverwhelmed.“Thanks.Iuh,will.”

“Butyoucan’thitonAllie.”

Maxgrinnedathim.“It’sokay.Iwasthinkinghersisterismoremytypeanyway.”

Danipresentedherselfinthedoorway,allattitudeandslysmiles.“Hey,douchebag,you’resupposedto

helpmeclearthetable.”

MaxshruggedandfollowedDanioutoftheroom,asmallsmiletuggingatthecornerofhismouth.Allie

hurrieddownthehallwaytowardhiminhercoatandhat.Shegrabbedhishandanddraggedhimoutthe

frontdoor.Theystoppedinfrontofhiscar.Thestreetwasquietandsnowwastumblingfromthesky.

“We’vegotexactlythreehoursbeforeDanigetshome.”

Hegrinnedandsteppedintoher,dippinghisheadsothathecouldtasteheragain.Shetasteddifferent

tonight,shetastedlikeshewashis,likeshewouldbehis,forever.“Ah,soyou’redyingtogetmebackto

thecondosoyoucan—”

“It’sthewholeWeekendEthanthingyou’vegotgoingon.Andmaybethefactthatyoublewafortune

savingashelter.”

“Aminordetail.”Helaughedashekissedher.Hesankhisfingersintoherthickhairandkissedherlike

he’dnevergetenoughofher,buthealreadyknewthat.Heknewhe’dnevergetenoughofAllie.Alliehad

broughthimbacktothepersonhewasmeanttobe,theguyhe’dburiedyearsago.Shetookawayhisfear.

Shemadehimwhole.Shemadehimreal.

“MerryChristmas,Allie,”hewhisperedagainstherlips.

“W

Epilogue

hat’sthepointofbeingrichifyoucan’t get a giant church in the city to get married in? I mean,

seriously,we’reoutinthesticks.”

Allielaughedathersister’sdisgruntledexpression.“Thiswasasentimentalchoice,Dani.”

“Oh,right,”Danimumbled,givingHannahasmall,slightlysheepishsmile.

Thethreeofthem,alongwithEmilyandChristopher,werecurrentlyinthebackofalimo,ontheirway

tothecountrychurchmilesoutofthecity.

“IhadnoideaEthanwassosentimental,”Hannahsaidwithasmile.“ChoosingthechurchJacksonand

Iweremarriedinissosweet.”

Alliecouldn’tstopsmiling;shewasalmostgiddywithemotion.Therehadneverbeenatimeinherlife

thatshe’deverbeenthishappy,thiscomplete.Takingachance,openinguptoEthan,hadbeenthebiggest

riskshe’devertaken,andohhowhe’dbeenthebiggestreward.Hehadcompletelyopeneduptoher,and

theyhadbothchanged.

“Still.Don’tyouthinkitwouldhavebeencooltohaveagiantweddinginoneofthoseplacesyousee

inthemagazines?With,like,hundredsofpeople?”

Allierolledhereyes.“Nope.Neitherofuswantedthat.We’veinvitedthepeoplethatmattermosttous.

Icouldn’taskforanythingmore,”shesaid,glancingoutthewindow.Snowwasfallingdownhard,and

therollingcountrysidewasblanketedinpristinewhitesnow.Theywererunningverylateandshe’dtried

textingEthantolethimknow,butthemessagekeptfailing.Shehopedhewasn’tworried.

“YouknowhowhappyIamforyou,right?Ethanislikeabrothertome,andIalwaysknewhe’dcome

aroundandfigureoutwhatheneeded.”

Alliefelthereyestearupasshesmiledatherbestfriend.“Thankyou,”shewhispered.“Ineverwould

haveguessed,whenwewereonthisroadonourwaytoyourwedding,thatIwasabouttomeetmyfuture

husband.Orthatwe’dallbeheretoday.”

“Itwasallmeanttobe,”Hannahsaid,reachingacrossandsqueezingherhand.

“I need to find myself one of these rich dudes like you two did,” Dani said. “Who’s left out of their

group?”

“Just Nicholas Wright. Apparently their other friend Hayden is getting married in the spring. Never

mindthatanyway.Youarewaytooyoungtoevenbeconsideringanyoftheirfriends.Besides,Ithought

Maxwastheloveofyourlife?”

“T

Danismirked.“Ofcourseheis.Ijustcan’tlethimknowthatorhe’llgetcocky.”

“DaddysaidUncleEthanisoutofcontrol,”Emilysaidwithagrin.Allielookeddownandlaughedas

hergoddaughtersnuggledintoherside.

“Ethan’sbeenabitnervousthisweek,Ithink,”Hannahsaid,smiling.

Danirolledhereyes.“Why?It’snotlikeyou’regoingtoleavehimatthealtarorsomething.”

enbuckssaysAllieleavesEthanatthealtar.”

Ethanwouldhavegivenhisbestman,Jackson,thefinger,hadtheynotbeenstandingatthefrontofthe

church. The guests were all seated, and soft music from the harpist was hopefully drowning out their

conversation.

“I’min.Maybeshedecidedshecoulddobetter.”

Ethanshuthiseyesandrolledbackonhisheels,ignoringhisotherstupidfriend,Hayden.HeandAllie

shouldhavejustelopedonanisland.Withoutfriends.

“I’min,too.WaytoogoodforEthan,”Nicholassaid.

Someone slapped him on the back and he opened his eyes, shooting them all dirty looks. “She’s not

leavingmeatthealtar.They’rejustlatebecauseoftheweather.”

“Everyoneelsemadeitokay,”Nicholassaid,pointingouttheobvious.

Ethanswallowedhard.Hehadalreadythoughtofthat.Hisgazewanderedthecrowd,alreadyknowing

all the faces he would see. There was Max and Denise from the shelter. Hayden’s fiancée, Alexandra

McAllister,theSampsons,andAnnie.Hiseyesfocusedonher,andshegavehimawidesmile.Thenoise

from his friends’ chatter continued and a rush of emotion swam through him, filling him with gratitude.

Forbeinghere.Forbeingalive,healthy.ForAllie.God,somuchgratitudeforAllie.

The doors swung open and suddenly she was there, snow swirling around her, and for a second he

couldn’tbreathe.Everysinglepartofhimwassofilledtothebrimwithemotionhedidn’tknowhewas

capableof.Shewaseverythingtohim.Andshewashere.Shewaswearingalong,beadedivorygown

thatfitherlikeaglove.Thebeadssparkledunderthecandlelight,herlonghairshinyandloosearound

hershoulders.Itwasprobablywrongtoalreadybethinkingabouthowhewantedtotakethedressoffher

later,buthell,hewasonlyhuman.

“Shit.LookslikeweoweEthantenbucks,”Jacksonwhispered.

Thankfully, his friends’ stupid comments snapped him into the present, and he smiled at Allie.

Jackson’skidsmadetheirwaydowntheaislefirst.ThefactthatJacksonhadmanagedtohavesuchcute

kids was solely because of Hannah. Next came Hannah and Dani. Dani gave him a troublemaker wink

beforesettlinginbesideHannahandJackson.

HeblinkedbackthemoistureinhiseyeswheneveryonestoodasAlliemadeherwaydowntheaisle.

But hell, he couldn’t wait for her, so he met her halfway. He’d waited his entire life for Allie. He’d

waitedhisentirelifenottobealone.Alone,hecouldonlybesomuch.WithAllie,hewaseverything.

DidyoulovethisIndulgence?Checkoutmoreofourcategoryromancetitles

here

Andforexclusivesneakpeeksatourupcomingbooks,excerpts,contests,chatswithourauthorsand

editors,andmore…

Signupforour

Besuretolikeuson

Followuson

AbouttheAuthor

alwaysknewshewantedtobeawriterandingradefive,shepennedherfirststory,bound

it(withstaples)andacardboardcoveranddidalltheillustrationsherself.Luckily,thisbookwillnever

seethelightofdayagain.

Inhighschoolshefellinlovewithhistoricalromanceandthencontemporaryromance.Aftergraduating

UniversitywithanEnglishLiteraturedegree,Victoriapursuedadegreeininteriordesignandthenopened

herownbusiness.Afterherfirstchild,Victoriaknewitwastimetofulfillthedreamofwritingromantic

fiction.

Victoriaisahopelessromanticwhoislivingherdream,penninghappily-ever-after’sforhercharacters

inbetweenmanagingkidsandthefamilybusiness.Writingonalaptopinthemiddleofthecountryina

ramblingoldVictorianhousewouldbeideal,butshe’squitecontentlivinginsuburbiawithherhusband,

theirtwoyoungchildren,andverybadcat.

Victoriawouldlovetohearfromherreaders!

Signupfor

FollowVictoriaon

and

Visitherwebsite:

Signupforour

Indulgence

newsletter

andbethefirsttohearaboutnewreleasesfromVictoriaJames

andotherfantasticEntangledauthors!

Reviewshelpotherreadersfindbooks.Weappreciateallreviews,whetherpositiveornegative.Thank

youforreading!

AlsobyVictoriaJames…

ALLING

FOR

NEMY

AlexMcAllisteralwaysdreamedofalifefilledwithfamily,butbeingabandonedatayoungageleftherwaryoflettinganyonein.Nowthat

she’ssettledinStillHarbor,AlexisfacedwiththemagneticpullofHaydenBrooks,thehandsomeworkaholicwhoclaimshe’sthebiological

father of her adopted daughter. A paternity test is all that’s standing between Alex and her dream, but Hayden’s about to make the most

shockingdecisionofhislife,justintimeforChristmas…

DiscovermorecategoryromancetitlesfromEntangledIndulgence…

aMenoftheZodiacnovelby

SarahBallance

Zoe Davenport is on her way to a private resort where there’s no ex-fiancé and definitely no public scandal involving said ex-fiancé. All it

takesisonelookatthesexyresortownerforZoetowonderifshe’slandedinevenhotterwater.ButRyderNashisn’tastranger—hewas

once the bad boy next-door neighbor she couldn’t stand…until her father got rid of him. If Ryder gives into the fiery attraction that rages

betweenthem—evenforamoment—he’llloseeverythingalloveragain…

anovellaby

TessaStonemanhasn’tbeenabletogetNicholasBooneoutofherheadsincetheysharedasinglekissincollege.Nowthatshe’sgivingup

herpositionatGameNerdztostrikeoutonherown,maybeit’stherighttimetoseeifthere’sstillsomethingbetweenthem.Nicholaswantsto

woo the woman he fell in love with during college. So he poses as her Secret Santa, gifts her with items from the song “Santa Baby,” and

plansabigrevealatthecompanyholidayparty.ButwhenhisbestfriendwantstorekindlehisromancewithTessa,willNicholaslosehislast

chance?

LURRING

THE

INES

aMenoftheZodiacnovelby

MarisaCleveland

RealestatedevelopmentCEOBlakeWhitmanisanAquariuswithaphilanthropicnature,butwhenitcomestowork,he’sdrivenandfocused,

andhewouldnever,evermixbusinesswithpleasure.Butwhenitcomestohisnew,hard-headedandkind-heartedsecretary,he’sbreakingall

therules.

ULES

EGOTIATION

aBencherFamilynovelby

InaraScott

Inano-stringsattachedfling,NYC’smosteligiblebachelor,BritBencher,vowstomakeahigh-poweredcorporateattorney,ToriAnderson,

feellikeawoman.Butwhatwillshedowhenhedecideshewon’ttake“onenightstand”forananswer?

Document Outline

Dedication
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Epilogue
About the Author
Also by Victoria James…
Discover more category romance titles from Entangled Indulgence…

Wyszukiwarka

Podobne podstrony:

więcej podobnych podstron

The Billionaire’s Christmas Proposal – Victoria James

Document Outline