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on August 21st, 2013, based on

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4943301/

The content in this book is copyrighted by changedbyEdward or their
authorised agent(s). All rights are reserved except where explicitly stated
otherwise.

This story was first published on March 23rd, 2009, and was last updated on
October 24th, 2010.

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29. Elphaba
30. Harmony
31. Adjustments
32. Paroxysm
33. Exacerbation
34. Realization
35. Completion
36. Epilogue
37. FGB Outtake 1 Melbourne, Aus

- 4 -

Summary

Bella Swan, professor of English Lit in Seattle, hears the velvety voice of rapper

Edward Cullen one day and it changes her life. What happens after she writes her
fan letter to him is fate personified. AU/AH Canon pairings M for language, alcohol,
etc

- 5 -

Prologue

A/N This is the Prologue for my new story "The Letter". This is completely

different than Ascension. It is all human. I must warn you, this Bella has a
potty mouth. If you are under the age of 18 you should proceed with caution
because this will be a story full of adult themes. Not so many lemons, yet,
but adult themes for sure. If you like it, you know what to do. Leave me the
lovin' at the end.

Big thanks to Lillie Cullen, my beta, my friend, my soul sister. Love you

H&R bb.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything Twilight. Stephenie Meyer does. But you all knew

that already. Edward, on the other hand, woke me up at 4:30 one morning and
started whispering this story in my ear and would not shut up until I started writing
it. Who am I to deny him?

Bella

"Hey, Edward?"

"What's up, Bella?"

"You think we could, like, just go to bed, and stay there, for fucking ever?"

"Suits me!" he said, laughing.

I stumbled around our house for a few more minutes, trying to remember where

the fuck everything was. Ugh. I hated coming home after being gone for so fucking
long. It was like going to another house.

Edward headed off towards what I thought was our bedroom. At four-o-fucking

clock in the morning when you have been on a bus for twenty-four hours, and
haven't been home for six months, who the hell knew where the fucking bedroom
was? I couldn't help stopping to watch his sexy ass walk away. God I'm pathetic.

He could have any fucking woman in the world that he wanted with a flick of his

finger, so what the fuck was he doing with me? I'm nothing special. I'm a plain girl
from the hole of the universe, Forks fucking Washington.

- 6 -

After he disappeared from my view, I took a deep breath and looked around. How

did I get here? How did this happen to me?

Well, before I get too far ahead of myself, let me just say that the story of how I

got here is un-fucking believable.

I have to think back a long ways, through a haze of traveling, booze, drugs, sex,

and God knows what else to even remember what brought me to this particular
place in my life. Oh yeah, it was a letter that started me on this journey.

I was twenty-four years old when this all began. God, that seems like forever ago.

Hold old am I now? Thirty-two? Wow. Time sure flies when you are sleeping with
Edward Fucking Cullen every night.

I had just graduated from the good old University of Washington with my master's

in English Literature. You may ask, what does some one do with a master's in
English Lit? Yeah, I asked too. What kind of pansy-assed pathetic degree was
English Lit for fuck sake? Well, of course, you teach English Lit to other fucking
morons who think that it's a great degree to get. And, you don't give a shit that they
are throwing their lives and their money away because you are getting a paycheck
off of their stupidity, right? Right?!

If it weren't for my two best friends, Alice and Rosalie, my life would have been

utter shit. When I was asked to join the faculty at the university because of my
stellar grades, my leadership ability, and some other lame shit they had quoted to
me, I hated the thought of being a professor at 24, but I took the job. Had I not, I
would probably still be looking for a job. As it were, I was miserable.

Alice was a wedding planner and she was damn good at it. She traveled

everywhere and even did celebrity weddings and governor's daughter's weddings
and shit like that. She was a bundle of energy that one. She didn't work very often.
Hell, she didn't have to. Her prices were outrageous and when I had asked her to
plan the wedding for Mike Newton and me, I had told her so. I remember her
laughing at me and saying, "Silly, Bella. Don't you know that you don't have to pay
me?" Yeah, okay, whatever. Thank God that didn't work out. But, I'm getting ahead
of myself again.

Rosalie had inherited her daddy's Ferrari dealership so she quit college and took

that over when her dad died. She was making some big bucks too. Imagine a
twenty-one year old who was more beautiful than Aphrodite running her father's
Ferrari dealership without a college degree and making six figures a year. Six BIG
figures a year.

- 7 -

Why did I have to be the smart poor one? Who the fuck knows, but my have the

tables fucking turned.

I was walking across campus on September 12, the day before my twenty-fourth

birthday, when I heard it for the first time. I was casually strolling along enjoying
the rare nice weather when I saw some kids at a picnic table with a big stereo.
Hip-hop was blasting out of it and I wrinkled my nose as I kept walking. Ugh. That
was the kind of shit that Rose and her boyfriend Emmett creamed their pants over. I
preferred Mozart and Beethoven. But then, I heard the voice, and I literally stopped
walking. It was velvety and rich, not harsh like most hip-hop artists, and the
words…Oh. My. God. This man was different. This man was a fucking genius. The
way the words rolled off his tongue was poetic, even though he was talking about
sex, drugs, and alcohol. I was mesmerized. I tried not to look conspicuous as I took
out a book and sat down against a tree a short distance away to listen.

With every word of every song, I fell more in love with that voice. I listened to the

chatter to see if I could figure out who it was. I had to know. I was going straight to
the music store to get it. Rose was going to make fun of me. Fuck Rose. I felt like I
couldn't breathe every time the voice stopped.

Mike's voice brought me out of my reverie rather quickly. "Bella, what the hell are

you doing over there? We've got plans tonight. Get your ass over here and get in the
car."

Ugh. I got up, smoothed my skirt, and kept walking, trying to remember some of

the lyrics of the song I was listening to so I could find out who the mystery voice
belonged to. I didn't want to have to ask Rose, but I kept that in the back of my mind
as my last ditch effort at finding out.

I got into Mike's Toyota and slammed the door. I did not want to go to Forks with

him. It was Friday and I wanted to stay in Seattle. I wasn't interested in spending
the weekend in Forks at Charlie's house. Charlie is my father. He would think he
needed to stay home and fawn over me like I was some little fucking girl that needed
it. God I hated the thought of that. Then there was Mike's parents. Mike's mom was
okay, she didn't say a whole lot to me, but his dad was more obnoxious than Mike
was.

I can't remember how many times Alice and Rosalie had asked me exactly why I

was dating Mike or why I had allowed myself to get engaged to him. I had pulled the
lie off well. I would shrug and say, "Because I love him." I wasn't much of a liar, and
they knew it, but they would always back off and leave me alone to make my own
mistakes. I knew it was a mistake, but it was a lack of options. My self-esteem had

- 8 -

never been the best. I had never thought of myself as pretty or desirable. I was just
plain Isabella Swan. Not as pretty as the other girls, but not as ugly as some.

Mike and I had dated since my senior year at Forks High School. He had pestered

me to go out with him since I moved there at the beginning of my junior year to live
with my father. My flaky mother had run off with some damn baseball player and I
finally had enough of her, so I went to live with my dad, Forks Chief of Police Charlie
Swan, at your service. I hated my life.

Initially, when I moved to Forks, I started seeing my old friend Jacob Black who

was a member of Quileute tribe over in La Push. My dad had been friends with his
dad forever and Jake and I had made mud pies together when we were kids. I guess
when I moved there, Charlie, Jacob's father Billy, and Jake all just naturally assumed
that I would end up with him. Charlie and Billy did everything they could to throw us
together so we finally relented and dated for a few months. That came to an abrupt
end when he was drunk one night and tried to force me to have sex with him down
at the beach during a big bonfire party the tribe was having. I'll never forget how
bad my hand hurt when I punched him in the face and broke it. Charlie wouldn't
even believe me or try to defend me. Somehow, he thought it was all my fault that
Jake had gotten drunk and tried to force himself on me. As I recall, it was Jake that
was drunk, not me. Oh well, that's Charlie. He always closes his eyes to things that
make him uncomfortable and just hears and believes what he wants to. I wore that
cast forever.

Anyway, after that, I went on a few random dates with a few random guys from

Forks High, but there was never anyone special. I guess Mike just finally wore me
down. He had asked me out a zillion times and though we were friends, I just would
not go out with him. It was weird. He had been the first person to talk to me when I
started school there. At any rate, once he wore me down, he had me. We finished
high school together, we went to college together, and finally, we were engaged to
spend the rest of our lives together. I wasn't so happy about that prospect, but I
didn't want to hurt his feelings. I don't know why because he was never afraid to
hurt mine. In fact, he was never afraid to hurt me period.

Mike sped away from the college that day ranting and raving at me about how we

were going to be late for dinner with his parents and why hadn't I packed yet and
why was I sitting in the middle of the fucking grass instead of getting my ass to the
car so we could get going. Blah. Blah. Blah. I had learned not to argue. I had learned
to tune out his voice and just agree with whatever he said and apologize for it. Was I
really going to marry this man? This abomination? Yeah, I was going to. That is, until
I fell in love with a rapper.

- 9 -

As miserable as it was, I struggled through the weekend in Forks. I stayed at

Charlie's, like I always did, because it was a nice break from Mike and his groping
fucking hands in the middle of the night. Charlie was naïve enough to believe that
Mike and I lived in separate apartments and he was also naïve enough to believe
that we were not sleeping together even though we had dated for six years and were
engaged. It made things easier for me while in Forks to stay at my dad's house and
leave Mike to stay wherever the hell he stayed. I still think that every time we went
down there he was screwing that skank Jessica. I'm pretty sure that was why he
liked going there every other weekend or so. He could ditch me at Charlie's, yet still
exercise complete control over what I did and who I did it with, and he could get his
piece of tail on the side from Jessica. All I can say now is, I hope they are happy
together because they deserve each other.

It didn't matter, Charlie never came to Seattle to see me. You would think 140

miles wouldn't be too far, but apparently for Charlie it was. The only time he would
drive that far was to go fishing with Billy Black. It still irked me that they were
friends. Not my problem though. I had given Charlie the "I told you so" speech when
Jacob went to jail shortly after his eighteenth birthday for statutory rape and assault
on one of the tribal elders' daughter's. Apparently, I wasn't the only one that Jake
had gotten drunk and taken liberties with. Charlie never apologized to me for not
sticking up for me in that situation, and I resented him for it. A lot.

After that particular weekend was over and Mike and I were back in Seattle, I

made up an excuse about Rose and Emmett having a fight and headed directly for
their house. I had heard the lyrics over and over in my mind the whole weekend and
was greatly resentful of Charlie for disconnecting the internet after I moved out. The
man seriously needed to move into the twenty-first century in my opinion.

When I reached Rose's place, I told her about the songs I had heard. Thank

Heaven Emmett wasn't home to make fun of me. He was out playing basketball with
his buddies. As soon as I described the songs to Rose, she went to her CD collection
and handed me a CD out of it. I looked at the cover and saw the most beautiful man I
had ever laid eyes on staring back at me. He had the greenest eyes of any I had ever
seen. His name? Edward Cullen. What a crazy name for a rapper, right?

I remember that my hands were trembling and so was my voice when I said,

"Could I borrow this for a few days, Rose?"

"Oh hell, Bella. If it means that much to you, you can have it! I can get another

one if I decide I want to," she said, shrugging.

I was on cloud nine. I jumped back in my piece of shit truck and slipped the CD

- 10 -

into the CD player. I listened to that velvety voice all the way home and after I got
there, I sat in the truck for another half hour just listening, and falling more in love
with every passing second.

So begins the story of Edward and Bella, a match made in… Heaven?

End Note: Please leave a review and let me know if you want me to pursue

this one! I probably will, regardless, but I always want to hear how you like
it!

- 11 -

Freedom

A/N Thanks for the reviews for the last chapter and the requests to

continue. I have decided to move forward so don't forget to review again! I
want to give thanks to Lillie Cullen, who is my beta and my friend, for all of
her assistance, support, love, and care.

Disclaimer: I don't own a damn thing in the Twilight universe. I do, however, enjoy

toying with SM's characters and giving them a mind of their own.

Bella

I listened to that CD continuously for three weeks. Mike was getting really pissed

off at me. By the time three weeks were up, I knew every lyric to every song by
heart. I dreamt of the man's voice every fucking night. One night Mike woke me up,
screaming at me.

"Who the hell is Edward?"

I was only half-awake and half-still in my dream when I said, "Who? What? What

are you talking about?"

"You know exactly what I'm talking about, Bella!" he shouted. He jumped off the

bed and turned, pointing an accusing finger at me. "You're cheating on me, aren't
you?"

I wondered briefly how many times we had this conversation per month. It was

kind of like the pot calling the kettle black in my opinion, but I went along with the
ruse. "No, Mike. I'm not cheating on you. I must have been dreaming about that CD
I've been listening to. That's the name of the artist, Edward."

"You call that ART?"

"Sorry, no, the, um, singer's name is Edward." As always, I agreed with him. It

was easier that way. Besides, it was three in the morning and I had an eight o'clock
class to teach. I just wanted him to shut up and let me go back to sleep. I was so
fucking pathetic and submissive back then. I hardly recognize the person I was.

"You can hardly call it singing either, Bella. I don't know what has gotten into you,

listening to that crap, but I've decided that I'm banning it. No more. If you are going

- 12 -

to have dreams like that, they are going to be about me and no one else. Do you hear
me? Do you understand me?"

I nodded my head vigorously. "Yes, Mike. I understand completely. You are right.

It's crap and I shouldn't be polluting my mind with it. I'll stop listening. I promise."
Of course I understood. He would have kicked the shit out of me if I didn't
understand, or at least agree.

"Good. Now go get the CD so I can destroy it. I know how you are. You'll just listen

to it behind my back."

"Oh, no I won't, Mike. I promise! It's Rosalie's CD. I'll give it back to her

tomorrow, I swear!" The last thing I wanted was for him to destroy that CD. It was
my lifeline. It was my only outlet from the life that I had chosen. He glared at me for
a long time and I did my best to look innocent.

"Alright, but I better not hear it anymore."

"You won't." I looked down at my knees. I was now sitting on the bed with my

knees pulled up and my arms around them. I knew I would not be getting any more
sleep. Mike crawled back in the bed and started pawing me.

"Come on, baby. I'll make you forget that… creep."

I sighed and laid down. It was inevitable. If Mike wanted me, he would take me,

whether I was willing or not. I let him get his business over and the second he
started snoring, I got out of bed. I padded into the kitchen and started the coffee. I
went to find my briefcase and pulled out some papers to grade. I graded papers and
drank coffee until five thirty, when I knew it would be a good time to go get into the
shower without being in trouble for waking Mike up.

That day I took the CD to my office and left it there. That was the one place that

Mike never went. It was the only place in my life that provided any privacy.

I lived with that abusive bastard for I don't know how long. I was pretty fucked up

when I was with him. I have to thank Edward for giving me the strength to get away.
Each time I turned on his CD in my office, his voice seemed as though it was just for
me. I hung on to every fucking word as though he were standing in front of me.

Two months to the day after I heard Edward Cullen's voice for the first time, I

moved out. I had late classes that day, so I stayed home. Mike always left the house
at 7:30 on the dot to go to work. As soon as he was out the door, I called Rosalie and

- 13 -

Alice. They were there before I knew it and we had everything we could carry
packed in no time. We loaded my POS truck full and took a bunch of my stuff to
storage. Then I moved in with Alice.

I changed my cell phone number that day and left Mike a "Dear John" letter.

Chicken shit, I know. However, had I tried to explain to him that I wanted out, I
probably would have ended up in the emergency room, or worse. Maybe I wouldn't
have, but I was afraid of him. He had gotten worse over the last year we were
together and I just wasn't going to take any more. I had no one to turn to except my
two best friends. Emmett and Jasper, Alice's boyfriend, had both promised to "take
care of him" if he tried anything, which gave me a certain sense of security most of
the time.

Alice and Rosalie lived in the same neighborhood right next door to each other.

Well, right next door is a stretch. It was a gated community, which probably says
enough about the size of their houses. Mike didn't know how to get in there. He
didn't much socialize with my friends, so although he had been there a couple of
times and knew where it was, he didn't know how to get in. Pretty much the only
time I didn't feel secure was when I went to work but Rosalie had helped me out
with that, too.

Since she owned a car dealership, Rosalie gave me a great deal on a slightly used

Toyota and we took my old truck to the junkyard. Her reasoning had to do with Mike
not knowing what I was driving. It was the best reasoning she had ever come up
with to get me to buy a car from her so I did. I was glad to be rid of that old truck. It
held too many bad fucking memories. I had it since high school. Mike had always
been one to make sure that he drove a nice car, but didn't give a shit what I drove,
as long as I kept my mouth shut and did what I was told.

It was really hard for me at first, especially when Mike started all the crazy calling

at all hours of the night. Jasper wouldn't let me answer the phone. He would always
answer it and tell Mike to fuck off. Some nights I would laugh about it, and some
nights I would sit and cry like a fucking baby. Fortunately, it didn't take Mike long to
give up. About a month later, he moved Jessica in with him. Figures. Asshole. Bitch.

Once Mike left me alone, I was free to do as I pleased. Living with Alice was a

cakewalk compared to living with him. She was rarely home with all of her job
commitments. I think I spent more time with Jasper than she did. He was a financial
consultant for some big firm in Seattle. I don't even really know what the hell that
means other than he was pulling down some big dollars.

Living with one best friend and having the other best friend right next door had its

- 14 -

benefits. They were always buying me stuff, which irritated me, but it was nice.
Mike hardly ever let me spend any money or buy myself anything. He was so fucking
tight he squeaked when he walked.

After the month from hell, I got back to listening to DJ EC Velvet every day. I just

couldn't stop listening and since I didn't have to worry about being told what to do
anymore, I listened a lot. EC Velvet… what a freaking hot name. It rolled off the
tongue just like his lyrics did. Imagine how excited I was when I got on his website
and found that he had a new album being released in two short weeks.

I have to admit, my two best friends thought I was a little nuts for how obsessed I

was with Edward Cullen, a.k.a. DJ EC Velvet. I was buying up everything I could find
about him. I had an entire shrine in my room at Alice's house. I had books,
magazines, posters, shirts, hats, buttons… you name it, I had it. I joined his fan club
just so I could get all the junk that went with it. I guess you could say that I was
living my second childhood or something, but for me it was more than an obsession.
I was strangely drawn to this man. It was as though there was a magnet between us.
I couldn't ignore the pull.

The new album came out and of course, I was there to pick it up the minute it hit

the shelf. I had the wrapping off of it before I got out of the store so that I could put
it in the CD player in my car as soon as I got in there. I never got out of the parking
lot. As much as I had thought the man was a genius with his first album, and as
much as I had been drawn to him, my heart ached during the brief silence between
songs on the new album. His voice held me in a trance. I couldn't stop listening. I
felt as though I were going insane.

Actually, it wasn't just me who thought that. Rosalie and Alice tried to stage an

'intervention' for my obsession. They wanted me to go to therapy. They wanted me
to get rid of all of the paraphernalia I had purchased. Worst of all, they tried to set
me up on a fucking blind date. I could have killed them. The guy they fixed me up
with was a financial consultant in the same firm that Jasper worked in. He was a
nice enough guy, I just wasn't interested. He was kind and calm, just like Jasper. I
tried, I really did. Okay, so maybe I didn't try so hard. I only went out with him once,
but I had bigger fish to fry. I was desperately trying to figure out how I was going to
meet Edward.

I was even having trouble teaching my classes without listening to his voice. It

was getting pretty freaking crazy. Finally, I sat down one day and did something I
had never done before. I started writing a fan letter. Now, mind you, this was
something that seemed silly and childish to me. I hadn't even written fan letters to
any of my junior high or high school musician obsessions because it seemed silly and

- 15 -

childish to me then! I just had to do it though. I was desperate and I felt it was the
only way that I might be able to let this man know how I felt about his music, his
mind, his voice, his art. Yes, his art.

Looking back on all of it now, it seems really stalkerish in a really creepy sort of

way. I suppose I could have been classified as a stalker, only I wasn't threatening
him, and I wasn't hanging around his house. Not that I hadn't thought about going
to Chicago and hanging around his house, but I didn't.

That letter was the turning point in my life. It was a piece of paper that turned my

life upside down and brought me to the place where no one that I had ever known
could believe that I would be. I still can't believe how that went down. Obviously, the
fates had a hand in it or it never would have turned out the way it did. The letter in
question was later framed and hung over the fireplace in our house, Edward's and
mine. I never would have believed when I wrote that letter what would happen next.

Dear Mr. Cullen,

I've never done anything like this before, write a fan letter, but something

compelled me to do it. I was introduced to your genius several months ago, in
September to be exact, and have been unable to get enough of your beautiful voice
since then.

I don't want you to think that I am just some hung up teenaged girl who is going

all hormonal on you, because I'm not. I'm a 24-year-old professor of English
Literature at Washington University in Seattle. My name is Isabella Swan.

I simply want you to know that your voice is magic and your lyrics are ingenious. I

feel like the messages in your music are so much more than just the words. There
are undertones and underlying thoughts that for some reason stick out to me. It's as
though I 'get' you through your music.

I certainly hope that this letter finds you well. I don't even know if you will read it

yourself, but I can hope for that. I don't expect a reply. I just long for you to know
how much your music means to me and how it has helped me through a very tough
time in my life. It gave me the strength to do something I never thought I would be
able to do, which is leave my abusive ex-boyfriend. I'm sure you hear things like that
every day, but I wanted you to know.

Thank you for your wonderful talent and for sharing it with the world. My best to

you and all those who surround you. Take care of yourself and keep up the great
work.

- 16 -

All my love,

Isabella ("Bella") Swan

Simple, right?

End Note: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE review! Yes, I'm begging! I really want

to know what everyone thinks of this story!

- 17 -

Ray of Light

A/N You all have been awesome about reviewing already! Please keep it

up! Those of you who begged for Newton to get his ass kicked... this one's
for you!

Lillie Cullen is my soul sister and best friend... fortunately she is my beta

goddess too! Thank you BB! Love you H&R!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything Twilight. SM owns all that shit. Blah Blah

Blah. I DO own the name DJ EC Velvet. So there.

Bella

I swear to God, that stupid fucking letter was almost the death of me. I let it sit on

my desk for three weeks. I almost crumpled it into a ball and threw it away about
eighteen times. Meanwhile, back in the land of Mike the asshole…

Apparently, Mike and Jessica got into a fight one night. Why that didn't surprise

me, I'll never know. Of course, that comment drips with my sarcasm. After the fight,
the jerk shows up at the gate of Rosalie and Alice's neighborhood, demanding to be
let in. Alice, Jasper, and I were at Rose and Emmett's playing Mario Kart on the Wii
when the call came in. Emmett answered and when he hung up the phone, he was
pissed. He had agreed to let Mike in, but had plans for him to leave in an
ambulance. I didn't want to see Mike, but I didn't want to see Emmett in any trouble
either. I pleaded with Emmett to just send him away, but Emmett liked to fight.
There was no reasoning with him.

Mike pulled up in the driveway to the sight of all of us standing on the front lawn

staring at him. He hopped out of his car and said, "Bella, I want to talk to you.
ALONE!" I crossed my arms and looked around at my friends before answering him.

"Anything you have to say to me, you can say in front of my friends. As far as

'talking,' I have nothing more to say to you." When I finished speaking, I noticed that
Alice and Rosalie were flanking me quite closely and both of them had fire in their
eyes.

"Fine. You want to talk in front of your friends, we'll talk in front of your friends.

You had no right leaving me so go get your shit, get in this car, and come home with
me now. If you come quietly, I won't be so compelled to show you the error of your

- 18 -

ways. If you don't want to come quietly," he shrugged and finished, "it's not going to
be quite so pleasant for anyone involved." I was a little surprised by his boldness in
speaking that way to me in front of all my friends, especially Jasper and Emmett who
looked ready to tear him apart and burn him.

"I'm not going home with you, Mike. In case you didn't notice, I haven't so much

as tried even once to contact you. I'm over it. I don't love you and I don't want you
anymore. If you think that my friends are going to stand aside and let you take me
out of here against my will, you've got another thing coming because if you try, it
will be over your dead body that you do it." Alice took my hand and squeezed it
which gave me the strength to keep standing there rather than running as fast as I
could.

Mike took a step towards me, but as soon as he did, Jasper and Emmett stepped in

front of me. Emmett's booming voice and enormous presence was quite clear when
he said, "Touch her and die mother-fucker."

Mike paused for a second and then his voice was different when he spoke again.

He used the crooning, condescending, patronizing voice that he always used when
he was 'apologizing' to me for knocking me around. "Bella, come on, baby. I love
you. I always have and I always will. Please, just come home with me. I forgive you."

I closed my eyes and gritted my teeth. "No. I'm staying here and you need to

leave." Alice held my hand tighter and Rosalie wrapped her arm around my
shoulders.

"Mike, Bella is just fine now. She doesn't have to worry about walking around on

egg shells anymore for fear she will get beat up. She hasn't been to the emergency
room in weeks. She hasn't had to lie to anyone about her injuries. She's been happy.
If you just get in your car and go now, there won't be any trouble, but if you keep
begging her to come with you, I'm afraid I'm going to have to let Emmett kick your
ass, and I don't think you are going to like it," Jasper said quietly. His voice was so
calm, it almost hypnotized me. I kept my eyes closed and waited.

Apparently, Mike was just obnoxious enough to think that he could take Emmett

and Jasper because he sneered, "Bella is mine and I don't give a fuck how happy
she's been. She's coming home with me where she belongs and there's nothing you
two assholes can do that will stop me."

I opened my eyes wide and saw him charging towards Jasper with his fists drawn.

Alice and Rosalie dragged me backwards just as Emmett tackled Mike and starting
pounding on him. Jasper turned towards us and said quietly, "Go inside. I won't let

- 19 -

Emmett kill him, just teach him a lesson."

All three of us ran into the house and stood in the window watching the fight.

Jasper was standing in the yard with his arms crossed watching Emmett beat the
living hell out of Mike. Emmett swore every time his fist met Mike's face and Mike
was screaming like a little girl. I wasn't sure that Jasper was really going to stop
Emmett before Mike was dead, but found that the only remorse I had about that was
that Emmett would be in jail for a long time. We saw Jasper's lips move, but he was
so soft-spoken that we couldn't hear what he said from inside the house. Rosalie was
smirking while watching Emmett. I knew that after this was all over, Alice, Jasper,
and I would be going home. Rosalie always got turned on when Emmett got physical
with somebody. Emmett stopped suddenly and jumped up off Mike. He yelled
something unintelligible at him and put a well-placed kick in Mike's groin before
stalking off.

I couldn't help myself. I collapsed in a fit of laughter at the sight of Mike rolling

around in the yard, his face bloody, his nose broken, both of his eyes swelling, and
holding onto his crotch. He looked like he was crying, which made me laugh even
harder. Emmett stormed into the house and slammed the door. I stopped laughing
immediately when his glare met my eyes.

"Bella, I swear, if you ever get mixed up with that sorry piece of shit again, you're

gonna look like that and it's not going to be because he did it to you!"

"I'm sorry, Emmett. I promise, I have no interest at all in getting back with him."

"Good, because I don't think he'll be in any shape to ever give you babies," he said

with a smirk. Emmett headed upstairs, to clean up I supposed. Rosalie was right
behind him like a dog in heat. Ugh. Those two were the most over-sexed people I
knew.

I looked over at Alice who was giggling about what Emmett had said, but was

intently watching out the window to see what Jasper was doing with Mike, who was
still writhing around on the ground. I will never know what Jasper said to Mike, but
what I do know is that after he got done speaking, Mike jumped up and limped to his
car, and hauled his sorry ass out of there. Good fucking riddance.

Jasper came in the house to get Alice and me after Mike left and we went home.

That night was when I finally put the letter in an envelope, addressed it, and put a
stamp on it. No, I didn't run right out and mail it. I was still freaked out that I had
even written it but I was coming very close to being in the frame of mind to mail it.
It was only a few more days before I finally got up my nerve and dropped it in a

- 20 -

mailbox. After that, I kind of just let it go for awhile.

All the college kids were starting to get spring fever and I was not immune. I was

starting to feel a little better about my pathetic self and wanting more out of life
than sitting around pining over some fucking rap musician that I would never meet.
Alice and Rose took me out a few times over the next few months, but I just wasn't
all that interested in meeting guys or anything. I guess I was just in limbo. I was
past Mike and over that part of my life and waiting for my new life to start. Little did
I know.

About two months after I sent the letter, I got a letter back. I stared at the

envelope for three days before I would even open it. It laid on my desk, calling to
me, but I kept ignoring it. I kept telling myself that it was someone who worked for
him that had written it. He probably hadn't even signed it himself. The fact that the
handwriting on the front was messy and didn't look like the handwriting of a
professional letter writer didn't sway me. I was sure that it wasn't really from him.
Alice kept asking me when I was going to open it and I kept telling her to mind her
own fucking business. I loved that little pixie like a sister but she could be annoying
as hell.

It was Saturday morning and I had slept in until nine o'clock. I had wanted to

sleep longer because I was supposed to go out with Alice and Rosalie that night, but
my stupid body wouldn't let me sleep any longer than that. I laid in my bed staring
at the ceiling and stretching, trying to wake up. The sun was streaming through the
frou-frou lacey curtains that covered my bedroom window and it was making
interesting patterns on the white comforter that adorned my bed. I followed the
patterns across the floor with my eyes and then turned my head to follow them onto
my desk. One particularly large beam of sunlight was hitting the letter that still laid
on my desk unopened. I stared at it as though it were a wild animal that was
stalking me.

Finally, I got out of bed and walked over to my desk. I picked it up and turned it

over in my hands several times. I sighed and sat down in the dark blue fluffy chair
that sat next to my desk in front of the window. My hands were trembling when I
finally got up the nerve to start opening it. I don't know why I was so terrified. It was
just a letter from one of his staffers, right? Right?!

The envelope was open, but I still couldn't bring myself to pull out the paper

inside. I heard Alice coming up the stairs and waited silently until she knocked.
"Bella? You awake in there?"

"Yeah, I'm awake. Come on in."

- 21 -

She threw the door open and flitted into the room with a huge grin on her face.

She handed me a cup of coffee and plopped down on the end of my bed.

"Thanks," I said before taking a sip of coffee. Having a roommate that had ADHD

so bad that she hardly slept did have its advantages. She started bouncing up and
down on the bed. I rolled my eyes. She had caught me with the letter, open, in my
hand.

"Well?" she asked excitedly.

I shrugged. "I don't know. I haven't read it yet."

"Wellreadit, silly!"

"Alice, you realize that this letter is not from him. It's from one of his staffers or

something. I don't know why I even bothered."

"Bella, come on," she whined. "You're never going to know for sure until you pull

the damn thing out of the envelope and open it up! The handwriting on the envelope
sure doesn't look like the handwriting of someone who writes letters for EC Velvet
as a living!"

In my mind, I tried to argue that she was right. Then, I tried to argue that she was

wrong. Then, I tried to argue that I shouldn't read it. Then, I tried to argue that I
should read it. The bottom line was, I knew I was going to read it. I neededto read it.
It was as though it was pulling me to it and now that I had it in my hand, I couldn't
put it down.

I glanced up at Alice, sat my coffee cup on my desk, and pulled the yellow legal

paper out of the envelope. I looked at the folded paper for a long time, knitting my
eyebrows together, trying to figure out why in the hell he let his staff return his
fanmail on yellow legal paper. Weird! Alice was still bouncing, but was quiet for
once, so I started unfolding it. I read through it once, then again, and again. By the
fourth time I practically had it memorized. I couldn't speak. I couldn't breathe. I
could barely continue to sit in the chair. I was in utter shock. It had to be a fake. It
absolutely hadto be a fake. This couldn't be real. It couldn't be happening. Things
like this just didn't exist in my world.

End Note: Hit me with the reviews ya'll! I NEED to hear if you are liking it!

EC's return letter will be first up next chapter!

- 22 -

Venom

A/N So, here is Edward's letter. Sorry for the cliffy last chapter, it just

worked out that way. This chapter is named "Venom" after the Club that
Bella, Alice, Rosalie, Emmett, and Jasper go to. It is a real club in Seattle. So
freaking cool! I had to use it... had to!

Thanks Lillie for staying up late and beta'ing for me. You rock hard BB! I

could never do any of it without you!

Disclaimer: I don't own TW. Blah, blah, blah.

Bella

Dear Bella,

I hope that you don't mind that I addressed you as Bella. My assumption was that

you liked to be called that from your letter. You are probably thinking, "I'll bet he
doesn't answer his own fan letters," and for the most part, you are correct. I don't
usually. Occasionally one comes across my assistant's desk that she brings to me to
read just because she thinks I would be interested. Fortunately for me, she brought
me you. Well, not you, but your letter. I can only hope that it will bring me you.
Wow, that sounds like I'm some kind of sick stalker.

Okay, here's the deal, Bella. I've read your letter at least a thousand times. I've

been carrying it in my back pocket for days now. I don't know what it is about it but
I can't seem to put it down. I hope you don't think I'm a psycho. I came out of a very
bad divorce about a year ago and I haven't seen anyone since. Tanya hurt me very
badly. I'm sure you've read the news articles, and unfortunately they are mostly
true.

Something brought your letter to me and something keeps it near and dear to me

at all times. I would really like to talk to you. Here is my personal cell number…
555-555-5555. I carry this particular number on my person at all times. Since I have
no other way of getting in touch with you than your return address, I would really
love it if you would call me, just so we can talk. If you don't want to or think I am
nuts, I understand, because maybe I am, just a little.

Anyway, thanks for the awesome letter and for bringing some joy back to me with

it. I hope to hear from you soon.

- 23 -

Yours,

Edward Cullen (a.k.a. DJ EC Velvet)

I really think that stunned is probably the appropriate word for me to use. I was

stunned. Wait. Maybe shocked is a more appropriate word. Yes, that's it. I was in
shock.

When Alice couldn't contain herself any longer she squealed and shouted, "Bella!

Either let me read it or tell me what it says! I can't stand the suspense anymore! Is it
from him?"

My jaw was still hanging down into my lap when I handed the letter to her. I found

that I had trouble letting go of it, but I finally let her have it completely. She stood in
front of me and read it quickly, her grin spreading wildly across her face. "Bella!
This is really from him! Oh. My. God. I gotta call Rosalie!"

She practically threw the letter at me and ran out of the room. I could hear her

talking animatedly to Rose and I rolled my eyes. I was kind of thinking that it was
my news to share, but Alice could never sit on anything too long.

About an hour later, when my growling stomach forced the shock to wear off, I got

up and headed for the kitchen, still clutching Edward's letter. I poured a bowl of
cereal and sat down at the bar. I read the letter repeatedly while I ate. I couldn't
take my eyes off it. I wanted to run upstairs, grab my cell, and dial his number
immediately, but I was afraid that it was too good to be true. Nothing that awesome
had ever happened to me.

Alice, Rosalie, and I went out that night. We went to a club they had never taken

me to before. It was called Venom. Rosalie had tickets for a VIP booth which was
great because we were guaranteed a place to sit. Jasper and Emmett joined us there
and I got completely smashed. I kept taking the letter out of my bag and showing it
to everyone at the table. I'm pretty sure that I was pretty fucking annoying, but I
was pretty fucking excited.

The five of us were up dancing when I heard a very familiar song start. It was him.

They were actually playing one of his songs. I nearly passed out on the dance floor.
Alice screamed and grabbed me. She was jumping up and down in excitement.
Rosalie was laughing at me because I'm sure I looked like some kind of fucking idiot.
Thank God Emmett was behind me when my knees finally gave out. Edward's voice
was booming around the room. It was velvety and strong. It felt like fingers
caressing my body when the sound surrounded me. When I closed my eyes to let his

- 24 -

voice consume me was when I went down.

Emmett carried me to our table and ordered me some coffee. I had to hand it to

my best girls, they had some pretty fucking awesome boyfriends that not only took
care of them, but me too. I was grateful for the coffee and as EC Velvet's voice faded
out and was replaced by Estelle singing American Boy I finally started to ground my
feet back in reality. I drank the coffee down and pulled my cell out of my phone to
see what time it was. Three in the morning. Wow.

Soon after, Jasper put me in his Jaguar XF to take me home. Alice was passed out

in the back seat and when Jasper crawled in behind the wheel, he looked at me
sternly and said, "Bella, if you are going to throw up, please do me the favor of not
doing it in my car, darlin'." I nodded, leaned back in the seat, and closed my eyes. Of
course, as much of a lightweight as I was back then, I only had to stop him three
times on the way home so I could puke on the side of the road.

Upon arrival at the house, I stumbled to my bedroom and passed out on the bed,

fully dressed. I woke up sometime that afternoon, face down on my bed, clutching
my bag that had Edward's letter in it. My head was pounding. I groaned and rolled
over too fast. I had to jump and run to the bathroom to relieve my stomach of any
contents that might have been left. When I looked in the mirror, I scared the shit out
of myself.

Alice, who had, of course, been up for hours, and was feeling great, brought me

some Motrin and a bottle of water. She took one look at me and said, "Ugh, Bella!
You look like hammered shit, girl! Get in the shower. You stink!"

"Yeah, thanks for sharing," I grumbled at her while shoving her out my bathroom

door. I got into the shower and let the hot water run over me until I was starting to
feel halfway human again. I used my favorite strawberry shampoo and felt even
better now that I smelled normal.

When I made it out of the shower, I went downstairs to find some more water. I

fucking hate hangovers. I noticed that my cell phone and Edward's letter were
laying on the kitchen counter. My irritating pixie of a best friend had charged my
phone and had programmed Edward's phone number in it for me. I rolled my eyes
and took the phone and the letter with me to the living room. I flopped on the couch
next to Alice, who was flipping through a fashion magazine, and glared at her.

"Alice, what were you doing with my damn phone?"

She glanced at me out of the corner of her eye and said, "Just helping you along. I

- 25 -

don't know why you didn't call yesterday."

"Because I didn't want to yet!" I grabbed the remote and turned on the television,

frustrated with the lack of good programming on Sunday afternoon.

"So, why don't you call now?" Alice said without looking up.

She was pissing me off. Alice could push and do so annoyingly. I just wanted to be

left alone to do it in my own time. I wasn't over the shock of his response yet and
here she was practically forcing me to call him already! What the fuck? I turned off
the TV, tossed the remote, and got up. I went to get my purse and keys, grabbed my
phone and headed out the door. I heard Alice calling, "Where you goin', Bella?"

I didn't answer her. I got in my car and drove. I needed some time alone to think. I

drove for quite a while until I found myself somewhere outside of town. I pulled off
the road near a trailhead and sat there staring at Edward's letter for the longest
time.

I analyzed each word, each sentence. I listened to his voice in my head reading it

to me. He seemed awfully insecure for a famous rap artist. It made me sad for him.
At the same time, I remembered my relationship with Mike and how tumultuous and
horrible it was. I started thinking about that in earnest. How could I even call this
guy? This wasn't real, it was a fantasy. I could have no expectation of being in a real
relationship with someone like that. Besides, what if he turned out to be a psychotic
creep like Mike? I shuddered at that thought. Of course, now I know that I was
totally fucking crazy for ever even thinking that, but I had only just gotten away
from Mike. I had been in an abusive relationship for six years. I was really not in any
shape mentally to be in a new relationship with anybody. Having come to that
conclusion, I folded Edward's letter neatly and put it back in my purse. I headed
home to take a nap. God my head was fucking pounding.

When I got home from work the next day, there was another letter for me. It was

from him. I could tell by the handwriting on the envelope and the postmark from
Chicago. Everyone was gone so I grabbed a soda out of the fridge and sat down at
the dining room table to read it.

Dear Bella,

I mailed that letter to you the other day and then realized that I probably scared

the hell out of you. I didn't mean to do that so I decided to follow it up with this
letter.

- 26 -

I was thinking about how you said that my voice on a CD gave you the strength to

leave your abusive boyfriend and I am completely humbled by that. Particularly
because of the content of some of my songs. I'm proud of you for leaving him. A lot
of women just don't have the strength to get away and I'm glad you did.

That said, I wanted to clarify for you that I would just really like to be friends.

Even just pen-pals for a while if that is all you are willing to do, or able to do. At the
end of this letter is an address that will get letters from you directly to me and my
personal email is also included. Feel free to use either, although the emails will get
to me quicker as I am on the road a lot. If what I am asking is too much for you, I
understand. I don't have to like it, but I understand. I've never asked to correspond
on a regular basis with someone who wrote to me like that before and this is new
territory for me as well.

Just know that I am still carrying your well-worn letter with me everywhere I go.

Every time I hit a stage, it's in my pocket. Every time I do an interview, it's with me.
It makes me feel like somebody out there cares for the me that is beyond all the
hype and it gives ME strength, so thank you for that.

I hope this finds you well. I also hope that you will consider writing me back.

Sincerely,

Edward Cullen

His address and email address appeared beneath his signature. I was intrigued

that he had written again. He must have realized how desperate his first letter
sounded. It pleased me to no end that he had backed off a bit. I decided that this
letter deserved an email response. I headed up to my room and fired up my laptop
before Alice got home and starting dancing around behind me and staring over my
shoulder. Too much fucking energy that girl had… still has.

Dear Edward,

I received both of your letters, obviously. First off, I would like to thank you for

writing me back. I realize that you are a very busy man and I was shocked beyond
belief when I got the first letter and it was really from you.

I'm sorry to hear about your nasty divorce. Yes, I had read the articles, but I had

hoped that it was media hype and not true. I'm sure that it is difficult, in your
position, to find a good woman. I don't know much about the history of your
relationship but I'm sure that if she was with you before the fame hit, the fame was

- 27 -

probably difficult for her to take. If she came in afterwards, who is to say what she
was after.

Thank you for being proud of me for leaving my ex. It was difficult at best and I'm

so happy to be rid of him. I have four very good friends who have been invaluable in
helping me to get away and stay away. Between them and your CD's, I have
remained sufficiently distracted enough to get past it for the most part. Parts of my
mind are broken and I don't know if they will ever be right again, but I can always
hope.

I think being pen-pals/friends sounds like a wonderful idea. I want you to know

right off that I am not after your money or your fame. I'm just captivated by you,
charmed by your skills, and would really like to know the real you. The you behind
EC Velvet. I can't explain why I am so drawn to you and I guess I really don't have
the desire to try to explain it.

You now have my email address so feel free to email me as often as you would

like. Maybe someday we can do the phone thing, but I don't think either of us are
ready for that yet.

Thanks again for the wonderful letters,

Bella Swan

I read it exactly eight times before I hit the send button. I had no idea where this

was going to lead or if it would lead to anything, but I hoped that at least it might
lead to a friendship that, if nothing else, would take place in my email inbox for a
long time. When Alice hit the door, I quickly closed out my email and went down to
help her with dinner.

I didn't check my email that night before I went to bed. Instead, I got up the next

morning and went to work like I always did. When I got home the house was empty
again, so I marched upstairs and opened my email. Of course, he replied. My hands
trembled as I clicked his message to open it. I read it. Then I read it again. By the
third time through, I knew. I was in love. I was in love with a man named Edward
Cullen, who happened to be the famous rapper EC Velvet. I had never met him, and
never had any hope to, but I was in love with him. Completely and irrevocably. Call
it fate, call it coincidence, call it what you want to, but something, or someone, was
drawing us together and making all the pieces fit.

Dear Bella,

- 28 -

I was SO excited to get your email! Thank you so much for emailing me back! I

was afraid that you wouldn't and would think that I was just some weirdo.

So, you want to know the real me. I take it then, that you want to know Edward

Cullen and not EC Velvet. That's different. Most people don't give a shit about
Edward Cullen. He is just a regular guy. He has regular feelings, regular dreams,
regular thoughts about life. EC Velvet is a lot different. He has his shit together. He
knows exactly what he wants and he takes it, never looking back. He is definitely not
me. He is my public persona, invented to make me rich and famous. I hate him. He
has taken over my life. I always thought that all of this was what I wanted and now
that I have it, some days I just want to give it all back and say fuck it.

Edward Anthony Masen Cullen is shy. He's quiet. His real parents, Elizabeth and

Edward Masen died in an accident when he was three. After that, he was adopted by
his aunt Esme Cullen and her husband Carlisle. Regular childhood, other than that.
Carlisle is a world renowned surgeon. Esme is a socialite. I chose rap to piss them
off. I went to college at Johns Hopkins U. Pre-med. At some point, I decided to live
my life for me rather than them. That's when EC Velvet was born.

I guess I better save some for later. I've probably completely freaked you out

already. Miss Bella Swan, I am captivated by you as well. I can't wait until I hear
from you again. You are a bright spot of sunshine in my life already and I barely
know you.

Yours,

Edward

Wow, right? Right?!

End Note: Please don't forget the reviews! Next chapter will be up soon!

- 29 -

Daddy

A/N Several of you have asked to hear from Edward. Well, your wish is my

command! It is time to introduce him, I think. Thanks to all who have
reviewed and added this story to their favorites/alerts. I'm pleased at how
well it is being received. We now have a forum thread on Twilighted so if you
would like to discuss, please drop by. There is an official story playlist that
is being built there. We are in the A/U A/H forum over there. If you need
directions, PM me and I'll send them to you! Ages 18 and up only please!
Thanks so much to my Forum Stalkers. You ladies rock!

Must give homage and thanks to my rockin' beta Lillie Cullen who rules

my universe! If she didn't encourage me past all my insecurities, you all
would never get to see anything that I write! Thank you Lillie! Love you
H&R!

Disclaimer: Don't own Twilight. Wish I did. I'm really enjoying turning the

characters into potty-mouthed bad-asses though.

Edward

I was so fucking tired. I had just put the finishing touches on my latest album and

got it out. Finally. Being in the studio for eighteen hours at a time six and seven days
a week for months on end tended to take its toll on me. Of course, sprinkle in public
appearances to promote said album, planning the upcoming tour, video shoots,
spending time with my daughter, appeasing my parents, avoiding the paparazzi, and
I had a hell of a lot on my plate.

I had about six weeks to go before my whirlwind tour was to start so I was trying

to catch up on some business one day when my personal assistant knocked on the
door to my office. I rolled my eyes and sighed. I tried to remember how many times I
had told her to leave me alone that day when she knocked again.

"Edward? I'm sorry to bother you, but I have something I think you will be

interested in."

I berated myself for thinking badly of her. She had saved my life a few thousand

fucking times in the last couple of years. She probably knew me better than anyone
else in my life did at that point, and that was a pretty sad testament to what my
fame had brought to me.

- 30 -

"Come on in, Rhianne."

My petite, blonde, knockout assistant came through the door. There was a lot of

speculation in the media about our relationship. Not one to avoid controversy, I
hadn't said a whole lot about it. The controversy was good for my career. At least it
was good for EC Velvet's career. He and I were two different people.

"I was going through your fanmail and came across this letter that I felt compelled

to bring to you. I'm really sorry to have bothered you today, but for some reason I
couldn't just let this one sit on my desk."

She brought me an envelope that looked simple enough. I couldn't figure out why

she had felt obligated to give it to me on that particular day, of all days. I thanked
her and she left quietly, closing the door behind her.

I looked at the return address. Seattle. Nothing special about that. I got letters

from all over the world all the time. Truly, I read very few of them. I didn't have
time. My assistant didn't even have time. The people that I pay to go through my
mail had to do it. They read each letter and responded appropriately to them. There
were thousands of letters a week, of which, Rhianne only received a small portion.
Out of the ones that she got, even fewer hit my desk, so it was no small thing for her
to interrupt me on a day that I had asked not to be interrupted just to give me a
freaking fan letter.

I tossed it aside on my desk. I didn't have time for that shit. I had a zillion things I

needed to get done before my tour started and reading a stupid fucking fan letter
was not on my agenda. I have regretted feeling that way ever since.

So, a few hours passed and I got a lot of work done. I talked to Abigail, my

daughter, on the phone and I was getting ready to pack up and head to the rest of
my house to finish out my day when the letter caught my eye. I snatched it up and
stuffed it in the back pocket of my jeans as I headed to my bedroom to change my
clothes for the public appearance I had that night.

Riding in the back of the limousine to the appearance gave me some time to think.

I missed Abby dearly. She was currently living with her bitch mother and I was
working hard to change that. In the meantime, I was doing my best to stay a big part
of her life. That was fucking hard with my lifestyle. There had been many days since
the divorce that I had thought about just giving up, retiring, and spending the next
fourteen years of my life with Abigail. She was the only bright spot in my life at that
moment.

- 31 -

I knew that at some point during the ride I was going to have to get out of Edward

mode and get into EC Velvet mode. Nobody wants to see Edward at the club; they all
want to see EC Velvet. Damn it! Sometimes I hated my alter ego so much. I couldn't
believe that I had actually thought it would be a good idea for me to develop it. Oh
well… EC Velvet was famous, sexy, rich, talented, and the girls loved him, even if he
was a total asshole.

I stood backstage waiting for the announcement that would send me out into the

spotlight. I didn't have my buddies with me that night. It would just be me out there.
I only had to perform one song. Surely I could make it through just one song. I
patted my back pocket and noted that the mysterious letter was there. I had to read
it when I got done. Why I had felt compelled to bring it along was beyond me.

The lights went down, and EC Velvet stepped onto the stage. Edward was afraid of

the crowd and afraid of the attention. EC Velvet loved it. He worked the crowd. He
gave high-fives, he shook hands, he sniffed the underwear that women threw at him.
EC Velvet is a pretty sick fuck.

That performance fuckin' rocked! DAMN, I owned those bitches! There is a good

fucking reason that I have been dubbed the best fuckin' white rapper to ever hit the
universe. My lyrics and my rhymes rival any other mother-fucker out there. Don't
fuckin' believe me? Just ask me! I'll be happy to tell you how fucking great I am!

I headed into my dressing room and grabbed the first bottle my hand hit. Jack

Daniels. That'll work. Next order of business is throwing all these crazy bitches that
keep trying to grope me out of here. God, they act like I'm just a piece of meat
sometimes! How many times do I have to tell the promoters that I don't want a
bunch of horny women in my dressing room after a show?

Having gotten rid of the women with the help of my two bodyguards, I sat down in

the big overstuffed chair that was waiting for me. I slugged down about a third of
the bottle of JD before I came up for air. It burned going down, but I didn't care. I
was high as a kite from the performance and needed something. Fuck, I love being
on stage. I don't need drugs. The stage is my fuckin' drug. Every time I walk off the
stage, I'm so jacked up with energy that I don't want to sleep. I sat back and closed
my eyes to think about the performance. I fucking love all that attention out there. I
want to take the Aston Martin out when I get home and cruise all night long!

Riding back to the house in the limo was when my high started to abate. I looked

down at the bottle still in my hand and cringed. Damn. I drank too much. Velvet
tends to take over my actions during and after my performances. He likes to drink
and do stupid stuff. I tend to be more low key. I handed the bottle to Matt, my

- 32 -

bodyguard, and stared out the window. He smirked at me. He knew that Velvet was
gone and I was back. I'm pretty sure he secretly liked Velvet better, but Edward
signs his checks.

Upon arrival at the house, I checked out my Blackberry to see that it was now

Sunday, which meant that I had to go to dinner at my parents' house in exactly
seventeen hours at seven on the dot. My mom could be a real bitch if I was late. I
rolled my eyes and walked up the marble staircase. I needed a smaller house. This
one was too big and too lonely to live in alone with nobody but the staff to keep me
company. I didn't go for having my whole entourage live with me. I enjoyed being on
my own, even if it meant that Abby was in another house with Tanya. I was going to
change that, and soon.

I threw off my clothes that stunk from the club and heard the slight sound of

paper rubbing against fabric. I remembered the letter that I had in my back pocket
and pulled it out, tossing it on the bedside table. I was just drunk enough that it
would be a good time to read it before I went to bed. It had better be good or
Rhianne was going to be in big trouble.

I stood in the shower for a while to get the sweat from being on the stage off me.

The hot water felt good and I reminisced about the events of the last year. Tanya
screaming at me because she thought my work was more important than she and
Abby were. Tanya snorting cocaine and freaking out because I didn't want Abby
around her when she was like that. Tanya making a fucking scene at my parents'
house when she was fucked up on God knows what. Tanya raking me over the coals
in the courtroom saying that I hit her and shit when she knew it was a bunch of
bullshit. Abby crying the day that Tanya and she moved out of the house. Abby
clinging to me every time I saw her and begging to go home with me. Before I knew
it, I was standing there in the shower crying like a baby. I wondered how I could
have let my life fall apart like that. I got out of the shower and dried off. I threw the
towel in the laundry chute and grabbed my Blackberry as I walked back to the
bedroom. I put a note in to call my lawyer first thing Monday. I was paying that
son-of-a-bitch too much money for Abigail to be stuck with her mother any longer.

Crawling into the king-sized bed alone was always a stretch for me. That was the

one place I hated being alone. That bed felt so huge. It was swallowing me. I took a
deep breath and punched the button on the remote to see what was on TV. My guess
was a bunch of infomercials at three in the morning, but it was worth a look. I found
some random movie to watch and grasped the envelope that laid on my bedside
table. The damn thing was singing to me and I couldn't figure it out. My eyes had
kept darting over to it ever since I walked back into my bedroom. Finally, curiosity
got the best of me and I pulled out the sweet smelling stationary inside.

- 33 -

I put the paper to my nose and inhaled. It wasn't perfume. I didn't know what it

was. I opened the paper and glanced at it. Female handwriting. Could that be her
scent I smell on there? That was definitely something new for me. I had never been
attracted to the scent coming from a letter before. I settled in to read it and what I
read literally took my breath away. I had to remind myself to breathe when I was
done. I read it again, and again. The words were simple enough. Nothing special.
Not too much different. Why, then, was I so taken with every curve of every letter of
every word that she had written, this 'Isabella Swan' who apparently preferred
'Bella.'

I stared at it for over an hour. I couldn't figure out what it was about it that made

me so enthralled. What on earth was an English Lit professor doing writing ME a fan
letter? Finally, when the adrenaline ran out, the booze wore off, and the lateness of
the hour overtook me, I carefully placed the letter back in the envelope and laid it
back on my bedside table under my phone. I closed my eyes and visions of a
chestnut haired beauty with brown eyes inundated my dreams. Who was she? I had
no idea, but I wanted to know.

When I awoke, I went to the kitchen to find food. I was always ravenous the day

after a performance and that day was no different. It never mattered how large or
how small the performance was. I fried a couple of eggs and some bacon, fixed
myself some toast, and sat down at the kitchen island with the mystery letter. I read
it a couple more times before I finally made the decision to respond to it. I felt like a
stark raving lunatic. I was obsessed with a fan letter from a fan who was probably
obsessed with me. My manager and my friends would totally chastise me for this,
but I didn't care. I wrote her the letter and gave her my personal cell number. I
wanted to talk to her. I was intrigued. I wanted to know what it was about her that
had drawn me to her words. I put it in an addressed envelope and left it on
Rhianne's desk for her to mail on Monday. I stood staring at it for a minute and
almost wadded it up and threw it in the trash. I wrote it on a legal pad for Christ
sake! Oh well, that's about all I write on anyway. I left it. Rhianne would do what
was right.

I called Abby to make sure she was ready to go to Grandma and Grandpa's for

Sunday dinner. The bitch answered the phone, of course.

"What do you want, Edward?"

"Uh, I was just calling to see if Abby was ready to go. It's Sunday afternoon."

"I know what day it is, asshole. Yes, she's ready. Are you going to have her back

on time this time?"

- 34 -

"Yes, Tanya. I'll have her home by eight-thirty, right after dinner." I sighed. Why

did she always have to try to make me miserable?

"You know, her bedtime is seven-thirty. Your mother could move dinner up an

hour. She's so fucking inconsiderate of my daughter's schedule."

I had to practically bite my tongue to keep from lashing out at her. Tanya had

never been one to 'keep to a schedule' when it came to Abigail. I was always the one
who had properly cared for her and made sure she was fed on time and to bed on
time. It had always been me that got up in the middle of the night and sang her back
to sleep. Sticking to the law was difficult at best. I was bitter and angry that this had
happened. When the judge's gavel fell and he said the words, "Mr. Cullen, because
of your chosen career, your odd hours, your drinking, and the alleged abuse that you
can't prove didn't happen, this court finds it in the best interest of this minor child to
award residential custody to her mother. You will have visitation rights as follows…"
Those words were still resonating in my mind when I responded to Tanya.

"I'm sorry Tanya. I will talk to my mother about changing the appointed time for

Sunday dinner to an earlier time so that Abby can get to bed on time. I wouldn't
want to inconvenience you and your schedule." I couldn't help the sarcasm that
flowed through my voice with those last few words. I didn't want to incite an
argument because Tanya was famous for not letting me pick Abigail up when she
was pissed off at me, but I couldn't help pointing out to her that she was definitely
NOT the queen of keeping a schedule.

"I don't appreciate your tone."

"Sorry."

"When are you going to be here?"

"Twenty minutes. Is that alright?" God how I hated being polite to that fucking

bitch.

"I suppose," she said before slamming down the receiver.

When I pulled up in front of Tanya's house, that I had been gracious enough to

buy, all of my animosity melted away when I saw my beautiful little girl standing on
the front porch. Her sandy blonde curls were cascading down her shoulders and she
was wearing a pretty pink dress with white tights. Her little feet were adorned in
white patent leather shoes and her smile was infectious. I got out of the Volvo and
she came running down the stairs on her little legs screaming, "DADDY!" My heart

- 35 -

melted. She was my angel. Nothing else mattered but her. I secured her in her car
seat and we headed out for an afternoon of Abby-time. Those times were the best
times of my life in the past year and the only times that I truly looked forward to.

We went to the park and played, got ice cream, went to the petting zoo, and just

when she was about to collapse, we went to my parents' so she could take a short
nap. I hoped that would get her through dinner and home before she got too cranky.
I sat in the chair in my old bedroom in my parents' house watching her sleep. Her
little lips were puckered into the cutest little pout. Her tiny hands were clenched
into tiny little fists. She was adorable. The most beautiful female I had ever seen and
I was totally in love with her. She was my world, that was for sure.

Dinner with my parents was irritating as per usual. My mother was such a pain in

my ass. "Edward, have you talked to your lawyer yet? Edward, when are you going
on tour? Have you thought about what you are going to do with Abby while you are
on tour, Edward?" God she's nosy.

After dinner, I picked Abby up and said, "Are you ready to go home, baby?"

"Can I go home with you, daddy?" she asked, her beautiful green eyes imploring

me while she played with the platinum chain that hung on my neck.

"I'm sorry, baby, not tonight. I have to take you back to mommy's house, but in a

couple of days you get to spend the night at daddy's, okay?" Her lower lip stuck out
and quivered, and I knew that it was only the beginning.

I said goodnight to my parents and got the hell out of there as fast as I could. The

one thing I looked forward to when I was on tour was not having to go to Sunday
dinner at my mother's and field the thousand questions a week she came up with to
ask me.

After I secured Abby in the car, she asked me again if she could go home with me.

Every time she did it broke my heart. I wanted nothing more than to have my little
girl at home with me. When we pulled up in front of Tanya's house, Abby started
screaming.

"No, daddy! NOOOO! I don't WANT to stay here! I wanna stay with YOUUUUU!!!"

Tears welled up in my eyes as I pried her out of my car and deposited her in her

mother's waiting, but impatient, arms.

"You're damn near late, Edward," she sneered.

- 36 -

"It's eight-fifteen, Tanya, give me a break. I'm early. I'll pick her up Tuesday at

noon," I said as I walked away. I couldn't listen to my baby-girl cry and beg any
longer.

When I got back in the car, I couldn't wait to just get home. Taking Abigail back to

Tanya's was always difficult for me. As I neared the house, I began thinking about
the letter and Bella Swan again. I pulled her letter out of my back pocket while
walking into the house and re-read it for about the thousandth time since I had
received it. It suddenly dawned on me how stalkerish and weird my first letter back
to her sounded so I ran into the kitchen and grabbed my legal pad. I scribbled a new
letter that gave her my home address and my email address instead of expecting her
to call me. For some reason I didn't think she was that kind of girl. I ran up to
Rhianne's office to retrieve the offending letter but found that Rhianne had come in
some time during the day and picked it up with the other mail that was to go out.
Fuck. She's going to think I'm a nut-case. I stood there debating what to do for
several minutes and decided to put the new letter in the mail myself, hoping it would
reach her first. I dashed out to the car and drove like a mad-man to the closest post
office and dropped it in. If I was lucky, Rhianne hadn't mailed the other one yet and
I could retrieve it.

All I knew for sure was that Bella Swan was consuming my thoughts. Every

minute of that day that I wasn't with Abby, I was thinking of Bella. I had no idea
why. It was as though someone or something had placed a nugget in my mind that
would not allow me to let her pass by without trying to know her. I hoped that would
come true some day.

End Note: Reviews are the air I breathe.

- 37 -

Tequila

A/N Thank you everyone for reviewing, favoriting, and alerting. Most of all,

thank you for your patience while I worked on Ascension before I posted
here again. That one is almost finished, so I'll have more time to devote to
EC Velvet soon!

Thanks to Lillie whose friendship and mad beta'ing skills mean more to

me than she can ever know.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, except Abigail and Rhianne. SM

owns the rest, but she doesn't own this story line, because I do.

Bella

Alice came crashing through the front door yelling at me. "Bella? Where the hell

are you?"

Shit. She's home. I slammed my laptop shut and bolted down the stairs, almost

missing the last step. I rolled my eyes at my clumsy self, thinking it would have
served me right if I had biffed it in the entry-way. I found Alice in the kitchen
running around like her usual OCD self.

"Hi," I said casually, leaning on the counter. "How did your day go?"

She turned to me and I could see the excitement glowing in her eyes. Ugh. It's

going to be a looooong night. "Guess what?" she said, bouncing up and down like a
fucking pixie on speed.

"What?" I bit, not in the mood to try and guess. All I wanted to do was go back

upstairs and respond to Edward's email. Immediately.

"We're going out, that's what! Here!" She threw a garment bag at me and I

knitted my eyebrows together. It was never good when she was throwing clothes at
me. It could only mean that I was going to get dolled up in some ridiculous outfit
that I hated and be dragged around her high society acquaintances that I abhorred,
or forced to go to some fucking art show that I had no desire to be at. I sighed loudly
and with great emphasis while I opened the bag. I stared at the contents. Black
cocktail dress. Well, that didn't give me any more of a clue than I had thirty seconds
before. I looked up at her with questioning on my face, trying not to look irritated.

- 38 -

"What?" she said, the exasperation in her voice showing through.

"Where are we going, Alice?" She ran over to me and grabbed my hands, her eyes

twinkling.

"It's our anniversary and I think Jas is going to propose! Isn't that great?!" She

practically yelled in my face and I found myself shrinking away from her. I backed
up and started shaking my head.

"Oh, no, Alice. I'm not going to dinner with you if you think Jas is going to

propose, and besides, if it's your anniversary, you guys need to be alone. I'll be fine,
really. I don't want to go." I started making excuses as I backed away. I watched her
face fall and felt bad for about a millionth of a second. "Alice, seriously, do you really
think that Jas wants me tagging along with you when he proposes? Jesus."

"But, Bella…" she whined.

"No, I'm not going. Here," I said, handing the dress to her. "You can take this back

and get a refund or whatever. You buy me too much shit anyway. It's about time that
I found a place of my own to…" I knew before it came out of my mouth that it was a
bad idea to even mention that.

"You'll do no such thing, Isabella Swan! You're my best friend and you're going to

stay right here as long as you want to!"

I dropped my head in defeat. There was no way I was making her understand with

Jas's imminent proposal on her mind. "Okay, I'm sorry. I was just thinking, you
know, if you and Jas get married, you might want some privacy for a while or
something."

Alice shook her head at me and rolled her eyes. "God, Bella. We live together now

and you live here. What the hell would be the difference?"

I just shrugged and walked over to the fridge. I pulled a bottle of water out and

mumbled, "I've got papers to grade. Have a nice dinner," and headed up the stairs,
hoping against hope that she wouldn't follow me. She did, of course.

"What's wrong with you? Why so grumpy?"

"I'm not grumpy, just tired." Dare I hope that she leaves me be? Fuck no. She

followed me right into my bedroom and of course, she noticed immediately that my
laptop was on, but closed.

- 39 -

"Well?" she said, gesturing to my computer.

"Well, what?" I said, as innocently as possible.

"You know what, Bella! How's it going with the letter writing?! Did you call him

yet? Are you going to?" Fuck. It's the girl of a thousand questions.

I sighed. "No, Alice. I'm not going to call him yet. He sent me another letter with

his email address so I emailed him instead. He emailed me back." After much
squealing and begging, I decided to let her read the email.

"Bella! Wow! This guy sounds amazing and like he really needs a friend. How

exciting!"

"Yeah, it's really great. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to write him back so go

get ready for your date!"

Alice tore out of the room, already on her cell phone with Rose. I wondered if

there would ever be a time that I would get to announce my own news. I highly
doubted it. I sat down in front of my laptop and poised to respond to Edward's email.

Dear Edward,

First of all, please stop referring to yourself as a weirdo and stuff. To me, you

sound like a normal guy. The fact that you are uber-famous is just a side note to who
you really are. And yes, I do want to know everything I can about Edward Anthony
Masen Cullen.

Why don't you tell me about your little girl... her name is Abigail, right? I've read

tidbits about her in the media, but of course I know that's all a biased view. I'd like
to hear about her from you.

I suppose that since I am asking you to tell me about you I should tell you

something about me. My parents are divorced. I spent most of my childhood with my
mother but when I was in high school she decided to flake out for the last time. She
ran off with a freaking baseball player. She was never particularly stable anyway.
After she met up with Phil, I went to stay with my dad in a tiny spot on the planet
known as Forks, Washington. Dad is the police chief there.

After I graduated from Forks High, I came to Seattle, went to college, got my

degree, and started teaching. Wow, it sounds like I haven't done much, but
truthfully, I haven't. I was with Mike since high school so I really didn't get to do

- 40 -

much.

Boring, right? I understand you have a tour coming up. I'll bet that is a lot of work

to prepare for. How much time do you have to spend rehearsing for something like
that? Does someone plan it all for you or do you participate in the planning?

My roommate is getting ready for a date. She thinks her long-time boyfriend is

going to propose to her tonight so I think I'll go help her get ready.

Write back when you have time.

Bella

I read it through a couple of times and decided it wasn't going to get any better so

I pushed the send button and went down the hall to find Alice. She was bouncing
around her room getting ready so I plopped down on the bed to watch. Once she
was ready, I hugged her goodbye and wished her luck when Jasper pulled in the
driveway and honked.

As soon as they were gone, I ordered a pizza and went back to my laptop, anxious

for a reply. I wasn't disappointed and I opened the email immediately, absorbing
myself in reading it.

Hey Bella,

You asked me about my favorite subject -- Abigail. She is my beautiful

four-year-old daughter and my life definitely revolves around her. She's basically my
universe. Right now, she lives with her mother, but I'm doing my best to change
that. My lifestyle makes it difficult to have her with me, but I'll think of something.

Getting ready for a world tour is almost as exhausting as the tour itself. Most of

the planning is done without me, but I have to give final approval to all the tour
dates, travel plans, etc. Rehearsing is a whole other subject. We will start rehearsals
next week and will rehearse eight to ten hours a day every day until the tour starts.
We would have started sooner, but the stage designer had some technical
difficulties with some of his ideas that have finally been hammered out… literally.
LOL

I'm glad you told me something about yourself, however a small amount it was. I

get the distinct impression that you haven't been particularly happy in your life yet
which is a shame because you deserve happiness just as much as the next girl. I
have a plaguing thought that I would like a chance to give you some happiness, but I

- 41 -

don't even know if you are interested in meeting me. Truthfully Bella, I think about
you a lot and I don't know why I'm so drawn to you. I've never felt this way before
and it's confusing.

Write back soon,

Edward

Our words were so simple to each other, yet, we both found ourselves drawn to

the other one. We emailed back and forth for several weeks until it was time for
Edward to leave for his tour. The last email I got from him before he left simply
asked me to call him if I wanted to talk, that he would email when he could, and to
be expecting a letter in the mail from him.

Two days later, it came. I got home from work to find Alice hardly able to contain

herself. "You've got mail!" she sang. I chuckled at her and grabbed the envelope out
of her hand. It was a big manila envelope and felt like it was stuffed. I plopped down
on the couch and put my feet up on the coffee table. Alice sat next to me bouncing
up and down. She hadn't stopped moving since Jasper's proposal and I, for one, was
going to be so fucking happy when the wedding was over that I might just drown
myself in a big bottle of tequila.

I opened the envelope and dumped the contents on my lap. There was an official

itinerary of all of his tour dates, hotels, travel arrangements, everything. There were
also five VIP passes to his show in Seattle that was coming up in… TWO WEEKS?!
When the fuck did that happen?! Alice squealed and called Rose to come over. We
looked through the rest of the contents. There were several pictures of Edward that
were decidedly NOT publicity shots. I freaking loved them. There were pictures of
him and Abigail and a few pictures of him alone. I was in heaven! There was also a
short note explaining that a car would pick us up for the show and that Edward
really hoped I would call him or give him my phone number for him to call me before
he got to Seattle.

Pictures and VIP passes went flying when I ran up the stairs and practically threw

my laptop through the window trying to get it open fast enough. I heard Rose come
through the front door and she and Alice were in the living room screaming. I
laughed as I typed the shortest email I had ever sent Edward. It only had one thing
on it. My phone number. If we were doing this, we were doing it right, and he was
going to be the gentleman and call me. I tore back down the stairs and Rose, Alice
and I stayed up celebrating until four in the morning.

Thank God it was a Friday night because… DAMN. I woke up around ten with a

- 42 -

splitting fucking headache. I was pretty sure I was going to die, or at least that I
would rather. I grabbed my phone and headed down to the kitchen. Emmett and
Jasper were in the living room playing video games and acting like typical males
doing their bonding bullshit. As soon as they saw me, Emmett bounded into the
kitchen after me.

"Bella! I hear we're going to a concert in a couple of weeks!"

I rolled my eyes. "Who invited you, Em?"

"Aw, come on! Seriously, you got five passes, who the hell else are they for?"

I poured a cup of coffee and took a sip, looking at him over the brim of the cup.

"They're for me to decide who they're for. I wonder who might be really appreciative
of VIP passes to an EC Velvet show?" I cocked my head to the side and tried to look
like I was thinking really hard. Jasper walked into the kitchen and poured himself a
cup of coffee.

"I think it's great you got passes, Bella. Who're you going to take?" he said

casually, winking at Emmett.

I started laughing and then stopped, it hurt my head too much. "You guys can go.

I'm just fuckin' with ya, Em." He grabbed me in a big bear hug and started swinging
me around the kitchen, effectively spilling my coffee all over the floor. I cringed.
"Dammit! I have a hangover, Em! Jesus!" He laughed, set me down, and grabbed a
towel to start cleaning up the spilled coffee. Jasper handed me a new cup of coffee
and just as Alice started stumbling down the stairs my phone rang.

I glanced at it lying on the counter and didn't recognize the number at first. I

started to walk away from it and then realized that it might be Edward. I grabbed it
and yelled at everybody to shut up before I answered.

"Hello?"

"Hi, um, is this Bella?" OH. MY. GOD. IT'S. HIM!

"Yeah, this is Bella, is this Edward?" I tried my best to sound composed while all

the time my mind was saying, "Ohmygod, ohmygod, ohmygod, ohmygod…"

He chuckled. I melted. "Yeah, as a matter of fact, this is Edward. It's great to hear

your voice finally!" What? I… don't… understand… English… ohmygod, ohmygod,
ohmygod…

- 43 -

"Um, yeah, it's, uh, great to hear yours, too." What kind of a fucking idiot do I

sound like? Christ. He's going to think I'm daft.

"So, I take it you got my package then?"

"Yes! When did you add a Seattle date?"

"Shortly after we started writing to each other. I figured it would give us a chance

to meet in person and you could have all your friends with you, you know, for back
up. I hope that's okay. You don't have to come if you don't want to."

"Are you crazy? Of COURSE I want to! I can't wait! Sorry, I know I must sound

like a crazed fangirl, but I really do want to. I'm anxious to meet you and seeing your
show will be great!" He chuckled again. I died. I wanted nothing more than to hear
that chuckle in person. I didn't care who thought I was crazy.

"I'm happy to hear that, Bella, really I am. Listen, I've gotta run, but I wanted to

be sure to call you back. Is it okay if I call you again?"

"Anytime, Edward. I'd really like that. I don't care what time it is either. I know

that you're traveling and time is probably something that you try not to pay
attention to."

"Thanks, Bella. I'll try not to let Velvet call you up at four in the morning or

anything, okay?" He chuckled again. Could his voice or his laugh be any fucking
sexier than they were? Holy shit he sounds hot on the phone.

"That would be great. I'll talk to you soon then?"

"Sure thing, Bella, soon. Bye!"

"Bye!" As soon as I hung up the phone, hangover or not, I screamed. How did I get

so fucking lucky?

Looking back on all of it now, I still can't believe it happened the way it did. Just

one letter was all it took. Wow… just wow.

End Note: OK EC Velvet is officially on tour. First stop is Madison Square

Garden in New York City for his tour kick-off! VIP passes are available to all
who REVIEW! Thank you in advance for doing so! :)

- 44 -

Okhotnichya

A/N I have the best readers in the world! You guys ROCK HARD! Thanks

for all the reviews, PM's, Fav adds, and alerts. I know I'm a little behind
answering some of your reviews and PM's but I WILL get caught up! RL has
been a bitch lately. Whether I answer them right away or not, I read and
cherish every single one.

Lillie ~ More than Heathcliff darlin', you know that, right? Couldn't do it

without you!

Disclaimer: I don't own TW. Yaddi yaddi yadda. I do own EC Velvet, my other

OC's, this story line, the Heartache and Misery album by EC Velvet, and the
"Heartache and Misery World Tour" that is currently in progress!

Edward

I sat in my penthouse suite at The Plaza in New York City with wonderment. I

talked to her. On the phone. I actually TALKED to her. I can't fucking believe I
actually talked to her. And she was excited to talk to me! And I'm going to meet her.
I'm actually going to meet her. I finally pulled myself out of my excitement and
hollered at Rhianne.

"Hey, Rhianne, can you come in here for a minute please?" She appeared almost

instantaneously, as though she could read my mind. Of course, I was paying her to
anticipate my needs and she did it very well.

"What's up, Edward?"

"Make sure that everything is perfect when we get to Seattle and for God's sake

make sure the promoter understands that only five VIP passes have been issued for
that show and there won't be any additional ones and if I find women in my dressing
room other than Bella and her friends, I'm gonna sue somebody!"

"I've made that pretty clear, but I'll make sure that he understands that this is

imperative if he ever wants you back for another show."

"Thanks." After that exchange, we went over the schedule for the rest of the day. I

had to leave soon and was in desperate need of a shower. As Rhianne retreated and
I got up to head to my room, I turned to her and said, "Rhianne, if I never said so

- 45 -

before, thank you for giving me Bella's letter. I'll never know why you did… but…
well… thank you."

Rhianne stopped and looked at me for a minute and said, "I'm not sure I know why

either, Edward, but you're welcome. Somehow, that letter just radiated with your
happiness. I can't explain it." She smiled and moved on. I pondered her words as I
watched her go. Radiated with MY happiness?

The hot water sprayed over me and steam filled the bathroom while I stood in the

shower thinking about Bella and what I was going to say when I met her. I knew that
the concert was not going to be our first meeting. I would be entirely too hyped up
and Velvet would be oozing out of every pore before the concert.

Finally, I knew that I was going to have to get into Velvet mode and get busy. I

had a tour kick-off concert to attend to. As much as I wanted to spend the rest of the
day in the shower thinking about Bella, I knew I couldn't. I turned off the water and
stepped out. I cleared some of the steam from the mirror and stood staring into it. I
ran my hands through my wet hair a couple of times and started thinking about the
concert. Velvet's voice of excitement to get moving and get to the concert slipped
into my mind. What the fuck am I doing standing here? Gotta go!

Lyrics ran through my mind while I dressed. I was focused as I walked out of the

hotel with my entourage and entered the limo. The guys in my group, Curtis a.k.a.
Killa Money, Jon a.k.a. JJ Ritzy, Brad a.k.a. Tenacious V, Ray a.k.a. Manic E, and
Chris a.k.a. Brotha T., were with me and we were all spitting lyrics at each other on
the way to MSG. We had all known each other for years and our styles
complimented each other well.

After we arrived, we rehearsed for a bit, then retired to our dressing rooms. When

it was time, I stepped out onto the dark stage and listened to the screaming of
twenty thousand fans. The lights came up and EC Velvet raised the microphone and
rocked the house.

I slammed the door to my dressing room in the faces of about a hundred

screaming girls who were tearing at my fucking clothes. There was a time I would
have invited a few of them in for drinks, but not now. Rather than reaching for the
whiskey, I settled for the Okhotnichya Vodka that I always insisted on having in my
dressing room. I poured some in a glass over ice and sat down to wait for the rest of
the guys to troop in. I was lost in thought until I noticed the phone in my hand. I
stared at it. It said… "Calling… Bella." SHIT! WHAT TIME IS IT? I looked wildly
around the dressing room for a clock until I heard her voice on the other end.

- 46 -

"Edward? Is that you? Are you there?"

"Oh, uh… hey, Bella… sorry to call you so late…"

Giggles ensued from the other end of the phone. Fuck. If that isn't an enchanting

sound I don't know what is. I tried to get my Velvet persona under control, realizing
that the excitement from the performance had caused me to dial her number
without even thinking.

"It's nine at night, Edward. I'm not six. It's not past my bedtime or anything."

Fuck. And she has a sense of humor too. "Oh, yeah, sorry about that. I forgot

about the time difference. Uh, so I just got off stage and found myself calling you
and…"

"Really? You just got off stage? And you called me?"

"Um, yeah… sorry. It's the excitement and all. I don't always think things

through." And the monster I've created seems to have a mind of his own
sometimes…

"Oh, no, really, it's okay! I think that's kind of cool actually. How did it go?" Stay

in control. Don't freak her out.

"Oh, man, Bella, it was unbelievable!" I felt the excitement and adrenaline that

always accompanies my public persona overtaking me, and before I could stop it, I
was Velvet talking to her. "I think we damn near raised the roof off the Garden. The
crowd and the screaming always gets my juices flowing. I crave that shit. I mean,
when twenty thousand fans are screaming your fucking lyrics back at you, it does
something to you. It's fucking amazing. I'm so stoked about the show and the tour."

Silence. Uh oh. I crossed the line. Fuck.

"Uh, Bella?"

"Oh, sorry, yeah, I'm here. I was just… absorbing…"

"Sorry. I got a little crazy there for a minute. You'll have to excuse that." And

Velvet needs to shut the fuck up.

"No, it's okay. I'm just… it's all such a new world for me. I… wow. That sounds

really amazing, Edward. You get really hyped about it. That's great. Where are you?"

- 47 -

"New York."

"I know… I mean…"

"OH, right now I'm in the dressing room at the Garden. Here in about five minutes

the rest of the guys are going to join me. We're going to have a few drinks and then
head back to The Plaza for the night. We'll head out for Atlantic City in the
morning." The screaming and shouting in the hallway increased and I knew the guys
were on their way. I panicked momentarily and had to think fast. Velvet was much
harder to keep under control when they were around.

"Hey, Bella, I've got to go. The guys are coming and… well, I've just got to go. Talk

to you tomorrow?"

"Um, yeah, sure! Tomorrow sounds great!"

"Alright, later then. Great talking to you again!"

"You too, Edward, really. Thanks for calling. Feel free anytime, okay?"

"Thanks, Bella. Talk to you tomorrow." I hung up quickly and the guys descended

on my dressing room.

Later on, I was sitting on my balcony at The Plaza relaxing and looking out over

the city. I realized that I had lost some measure of control after the show when I
called Bella without thinking. I made a mental note to call her in the morning and
apologize for that. I worried about what she was going to think of my excitement
when I had talked to her. There was always a fine line between the real me and the
public me anyway, but I wanted her to know the real me first. She already knew my
public persona through my albums and things she had no doubt read or seen on TV.
I felt strongly that I had to suppress that part of my personality during these early
interactions or I would scare her off. As I pondered all that, I was amazed by the fact
that I just couldn't stop thinking about her. A woman I had never met. I checked the
clock on my phone and it was four in the morning already.

I needed to sleep so I crawled into the shower to let the hot water relax me for a

few minutes. As I did my nighttime ritual, I thought about the private investigator I
had hired to watch Tanya and was anxious for his weekly report on Monday
morning. If there was anything I hated, it was being out of town and not being able
to spend Sunday with Abby. I hoped that everything was okay with her as I drifted
off to sleep.

- 48 -

My ringing phone startled me awake at eight twenty-seven. I grabbed it and

answered groggily. I hadn't even looked at the phone to see who it was. I assumed it
was Rhianne telling me to get my ass out of bed and get moving. It wasn't.

"Edward?"

"Mom?"

"I'm sorry to wake you."

"What happened, mom?" I knew that she would never call me on the second day of

a tour at eight something in the morning if there wasn't something very wrong.

"I just wanted you to know that I have Abby. Apparently, Tanya was picked up last

night for something. She at least had the sense to leave the babysitter with our
phone number in case of emergency."

Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. "I'll be there today, mom. I just gotta

get a flight out."

"No, no, no, Edward. It's fine. I just thought you should know. Abby is fine here

with us for a few days, or however long she needs to stay until you can make other
arrangements. I don't know what Tanya got picked up for or how long she'll be in
jail, or even if she really is. All I know is that the twelve year old that she left Abby
with last night got scared when Tanya wasn't home by three this morning and one of
Tanya's… um… male friends… stopped by. The girl called and your father went to
pick Abby up immediately, paid the babysitter, and gave her a ride home."

"Jesus Christ! What the fuck is wrong with that bitch?!" I shouted into the phone

before I could stop myself.

"Edward! Language, please!"

"Sorry, mom, but damn. I haven't even been gone for two days yet and she's

already pulling this shit. It always has to be about her. Maybe I need to cancel the
tour, just come home and…"

"You will not cancel your tour, Edward. You'll figure something out where this

little girl is concerned. You always do. She's your whole world. That's just your job.
You have to do your job to have your world. While I don't agree with your choice in
careers, you are very good at what you do, as you would have been anything you
chose. I didn't call you to put a guilt trip on you and have you cancel your tour and

- 49 -

come home. I called you because I wanted you to know what happened and that
she's here and safe. Okay?"

Although Esme could be a royal pain in my ass, she also had a soft side for Abby

and would go to the ends of the earth for her, or me, for that matter. I knew that she
was right. I couldn't cancel my tour. I would risk losing millions if I did. I sighed. I
was sure that the private investigator had been on the job. I would just have to trust
that my daughter had been in no danger. "Okay, mom. Thanks. She's alright though?
She's not hurt or anything?"

"No, she's just fine."

"Is she awake?"

"Oh, heaven's no. She's sleeping in your room. Your father was called in for an

emergency right after he got home with her so I've stayed with her to make sure she
was sleeping."

"Okay. I'll call her later. Please let me know if anything else comes up."

"I will. Don't worry yourself about it too much."

"I'll try," I said, with a sigh. How in the world was I not going to worry about her?

After I hung up with Esme, I got out of bed and yanked on a pair of jeans. I

tromped into the living area of the suite and called for my breakfast. While I waited
for it, I opened my laptop and shot an email at my PI, one at my attorney, and while I
was at it, said good morning to Bella and apologized if I was a little rough around
the edges the night before. She and I had talked quite a bit about Abby and my
concerns about her being with her mother. I considered for a moment and realized
that Bella was probably the only friend that I had to talk to about the situation.
Being famous doesn't always mean being surrounded by great friends. I've found
that it's more about loneliness than anything. I went ahead and told Bella in the
email what had happened with Abby. By the time I was done typing it, I was sick
about the whole thing. I hit the send button just in time for breakfast and went
about my business for the day.

I was always relieved when the first show of the tour was over and went off

without a hitch. I knew that the roadies were already in Atlantic City putting the
stage together for the show there. It was always amazing to me how much work
everyone else put into a tour when all I had to do was show up and sing, rap,
entertain, and be… myself, sort of.

- 50 -

Looking back on that day now, it was a horrible day, but a wonderful day all the

same. Horrible because Tanya started her downward spiral of being a total bitch,
even more than normal, and wonderful because when Bella received my email…
SHE called ME!

"Bella?"

"Hi, Edward. I hope you're not too busy… I can call back."

"God, no, Bella! I'm so glad you called!"

"I got your email. I wish there was something I could do to help."

"You just did. Thanks." I could actually hear her smiling over the phone, or at least

I imagined that I could.

"You're welcome. I'm just so sorry about your ex and the heartache she's causing."

"Well, that's what she's best at. Heartache and misery." I chuckled. I couldn't help

it. How appropriate that Heartache and Misery was the name of my new album and I
was on my "Heartache and Misery World Tour." Bella giggled too. God, I just wanted
to listen to her giggle all day.

"I'm really excited about the Seattle show. I just… wanted you to know that. Alice

is going to drag me out shopping this afternoon so we can get new outfits for it."

"Anything you wear will be fine, Bella. Jeans are probably best, if you… wear

jeans." Laughter filled my head from the other end of the phone. I had walked from
the front of the tour bus to the back, my private quarters to talk to her. A knock at
the door and Rhianne's voice on the other side told me that we were about ten
minutes from our daily briefing. I rolled my eyes as I listened to Bella's answer.

"Uh, yeah, I wear jeans." Giggle. "But I have no idea what Alice is going to insist

upon so you just never know what I might show up in." More giggling. Fuck, I LOVE
that.

"All I can say to that is, I can't WAIT to see what it is! Unfortunately, I would love

to sit here and talk to you all day about what you might, or might not, be wearing,
but I have to go. Shit. Did I just say that? Sorry, Bella." Giggling. Laughter. Damn, I
just want to go to her NOW.

"Edward, I feel… the same way… okay, you gotta go, I'm digging a hole. Talk to

- 51 -

you later?"

"I'll call you after the show maybe, if you don't mind."

"Yeah, I mind. It might be past my bedtime again." I rolled my eyes at her joke.

"Alright. Talk to you then."

"Bye!" More giggling as she hung up. Fuck, how am I going to concentrate with

that sound resonating in my mind?

I took a deep breath and tried to wipe the silly grin off my face as I headed back to

the rest of the crew for our daily briefing. After that was over, I called Abby. She
was still with Esme and Carlisle and was having a time. Esme had taken her to the
park and she was so excited about it. She kept asking if I was coming to get her and
I felt like the world's biggest asshole father when I told her that I couldn't go get
her. She started crying and Esme had to take the phone from her. I asked if she had
heard anything from Tanya yet, and of course, she hadn't. I was actually relieved.
The longer Tanya stayed away, the better. Maybe she really was in jail. I could only
hope that she was there for an extended period of time.

I retired to my private room to take a nap for the rest of the short trip to Atlantic

City. Every mile we drove took me one mile closer to meeting Bella, and I couldn't
wait. Just before I fell asleep, I sent her a quick text. It was short. Please email me a
pic if you don't mind. I realized that I'd never asked her for pictures and she had
never sent any and damn it, I wanted some.

END NOTE: The show at MSG was a total HIT. Lil... I hope you enjoyed

those backstage passes. *wink*. Next up, Atlantic City, New Jersey at
Borgata. All you gotta do for a pass is REVIEW!

- 52 -

Threshold

A/N Chapter title is Threshold. It signifies that Bella and Edward are on

the threshold of a new relationship and that Tanya is on the threshold of
everyone's patience. lol My readers rock hard. Thank you all so much for all
the reviews and everything. I'm honored. I'm also behind in answering them.
Please forgive me and don't stop reviewing.

Lillie BB, you always go above and beyond for me. Though I don't think

you should, I love you for it anyway. You are my angel sent from Heaven to
watch over me in all ways. Thank you.

Disclaimer: SM owns the Twilight universe. I own this story line, a laptop with

some of the letters worn off from me typing so much, a kick-ass flat screen to watch
Twilight on, and my own characters. By the way, if you are offended by bad
language... DON'T READ THIS FUCKING STORY. That is all.

Bella

"ALICE!" I shouted after I hung up the phone that night. I was so excited I wasn't

sure if I was going to be able to keep breathing or not. I remember feeling like I was
floating outside of my body. Alice flew through my bedroom door where I had been
reading alone when Edward called.

"What's the matter?" she had asked, breathlessly. I was unable to hold back the

grin on my face. "Oh my God, you're glowing. He called again?!"

"Yes! Right after his show! Oh my God, Alice, I don't know what to think, or do, or

feel, or anything!" My heart was pounding out of my chest. I couldn't believe that I
had kept my squealing under control when I was on the phone.

"Breathe, Bella. Right now you have to breathe!" She was right. I was

hyperventilating. Nothing so exciting had ever happened to me before and I had
never been so excited about anyone of the male species before either. When I was
finally able to talk again, I told Alice all about the phone call. We were both
squealing and bouncing on the bed by the time I was done. Jasper's form appeared
in the door.

"What are you two girls in here squealing about?" Both of us erupted in fresh

squeals and laughter as we excitedly told Jasper what was going on. He shook his

- 53 -

head at us both and chuckled. "Just like teenagers," he said as he turned and left.

The events of the following twenty-four hours were a blur. Alice, Rosalie, and I

made a pitcher of margaritas that night to celebrate. The next morning when I got
up, I found that I was still floating on a cloud. Then, I got an email from Edward that
his stupid fucking ex-wife had left his daughter alone with a twelve year old and
went out and got herself arrested. I was really beginning to loathe that bitch and I
hadn't even come close to meeting her yet. I wondered if I ever would or if meeting
Edward was going to be a big enough disaster that I would never meet his little girl,
ex-wife, or even see him again. I had called Edward to let him know I got the
message and he was so excited to talk to me that I was back up on cloud nine again.
Later that day, Alice, Rosalie, and I went shopping for frames for the pictures
Edward had sent. I was also in a quandary about the text I had gotten from Edward
requesting a picture of me.

"Why would he want a picture all of a sudden, Rosalie?"

"Probably because he's been thinking about you non-stop and wants to put a face

with a name. I don't know what you're freaking out about."

"But what if he doesn't like me after he sees my picture?"

"Bella, just stop. You know that's not going to happen. You're beautiful. Let's send

one of the pictures we took that night we went to Venom. You were lookin' fine that
night." Alice always had all the answers to everything.

"Thanks, Alice, but I'm still nervous about it. I mean, what if he looks at me and

thinks I'm ugly, or what if I'm not what he pictured, or what if…"

"Bella!" Rosalie cut me off, turning around to glare at me. "You are not ugly and

he is not infatuated with your looks. He is infatuated with your mind. Remember
that this all happened because of a letter. Now stop freaking out and let's decide
what we're wearing to the show!" I looked at her face and she was sincere. Alice
was nodding her head and singing along with "Halo" by Beyonce on the stereo.

"I'm wearing jeans," I said determinedly. I knew it was a battle I wasn't going to

win, but I could at least try.

Alice glanced back from the steering wheel and then stared out the front window

of the car again. I watched as her grip on the steering wheel tightened and her
knuckles turned white. Then she relaxed ever so slightly before saying, in a voice
that was eerily calm for Alice, "You're not wearing jeans and you're not arguing

- 54 -

either."

"But, he told me jeans would be appropriate."

"I don't care. He's a man. What does he know about appropriate?" I shrugged and

sighed. There was no arguing with Alice when it came to couture. She was the
resident expert. The only person that knew even close to what Alice knew about
fashion was Rosalie and even she asked for Alice's advice about clothes. I looked out
the window of the car, deciding not to honor her question with an answer. Besides
that, it was rhetorical. Nothing I could say would sway her and I knew better.

After a couple of hours of fruitless shopping, Emmett and Jasper joined us at our

favorite Italian restaurant for supper. I recall checking my phone about every five
minutes all afternoon to see what time it was, to see if I had a text from him, to see if
I had missed a call from him, to see if I had another email from him. I was toast. I
was totally head over heels for this man that I had never met. I couldn't stop
thinking about him. I had three more days of classes to teach that week and I had no
idea how I was going to get through them. I couldn't concentrate on anything but
Edward and his velvet voice, his tiny daughter, his imbecile ex-wife, and the fact
that two weeks from that moment, I would have met him and had no idea what was
in store for me after that. It was six o'clock and I knew it was almost time for
Edward to take the stage in Atlantic City. I wondered if he would call after he got
done or not.

I felt Jasper's eyes on me before I heard his smooth voice with his sexy southern

drawl say, "Aren't you going to eat, Bella?"

I snapped my head up and looked at the mushroom ravioli sitting on my plate

getting cold. "Oh, yeah, I was going to…" Emmett, being the big brother I had never
had, was always full of great advice.

"I dunno what the fuck you're all wigged out about, Bells. What's the worst that

happens? He comes to town, sleeps with you, and leaves. At least you can tell
everybody you slept with EC Velvet, right?" Rosalie punched him in the shoulder.

I stared at him, blinking. "Do you think that's all he wants? To sleep with me? Oh

my God."

Rosalie grabbed my arm, "No, that's not all he wants, Bella. I think what he wants

is a friend. Don't listen to Emmett. You know he only has one thing on his mind."

"Yeah," I said, straightening up in my seat and poking at my food with my fork,

- 55 -

"the same thing that all men have on their minds."

"I resemble that remark," Emmett said playfully, plopping a big bite of lasagna in

his mouth.

"I don't," Jasper said softly. "I love Alice because she's my soulmate and my queen.

Her body is just a lucky strike extra." Alice squealed and hugged him and they were
suddenly lost in a passionate kiss. Rosalie glared at Emmett.

"Sorry, babe," he said with a grin. "I love you for all those reasons, too, but you

are a fuckin' wildcat in the bedroom." Rosalie huffed and rolled her eyes, going back
to eating her dinner.

After dinner that night we went home and I retired to my bedroom to see if I could

find a picture that was suitable to email to Edward. After Alice and Jasper got
'cleaned up', which was code for bathroom sex, Alice came in to help me. I had eight
pictures open on the desktop and couldn't figure out which ones to send. We, and I
use the term loosely, because Alice did all the deciding, chose three photos to email
to Edward. I composed an email that tried to sound 'confident' in my appearance,
per Alice's instructions, and sent them. Nervously, I waited to hear what he thought.

Around eleven that night, he called. I had almost given up and was just laying

down in bed to stare at the picture of him and Abby that I had placed on my bedside
table when my phone rang. I snatched it up and sat straight up in bed when I
answered.

"Hello? Edward?"

"Hey, Bella, how's it going? Is it too late?"

"Absolutely not! I told you any time! I'm good… how are you?" I tried to sound

happy, but not overly excited. I hoped that my intonation was not too squeaky. Why
the hell I was so nervous, who knew?

"The show was great. We're on our way to Hartford, Connecticut tonight. We have

a show at the Comcast Theater on Tuesday night so tomorrow is a day off
supposedly. I know Rhianne has some shit I have to do, but I'm not sure what. I'm
trying to remain oblivious. It's the best way." I laughed a little bit at his attempts to
remain oblivious of his schedule. I felt sure that Edward was the kind of guy that
knew exactly where he was supposed to be and when, but just didn't want to go into
all the lurid details with me right then.

- 56 -

"So, you're like, on a bus?"

"Yeah, The Beast, as we call it," he chuckled. I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply.

I loved the sound of his laughter. My heart was racing as he continued. "So, Tanya
showed up at my mom's this evening and picked up Abby I guess. Mom said she
didn't share where she had been for twenty-four hours, just said 'thanks' and left
with her. I'm anxious to hear from my lawyer and PI tomorrow."

"Oh, Edward, I'm so sorry. That's got to be so difficult for you, being away and not

knowing exactly what's going on." I really felt for him. He sounded so sad talking
about Abby and I knew that being away from her was killing him. He talked about
her a lot in his letters. I knew that she meant the world to him and realized that
Rosalie was right, he needed a friend.

"Yeah, it's tough, but it's all going to work itself out. On an up note, this hot chick

sent me these awesome pictures of her in my email and she is drop-dead fucking
gorgeous. You wouldn't know anything about that, would you?" He chuckled again
as my gut leapt into my throat. Did he just refer to me as a hot chick and call me
drop-dead gorgeous? Holy shit!

"Um, I don't know. Did you know the address they came from?" I asked innocently.

He laughed aloud before answering.

"God, Bella. You're beautiful. Thanks for the pictures. Do you mind if I have them

printed in the morning so I can keep them with me? It'll give me something to look
forward to."

"Um, you can do whatever you like with them. They're for you. I hope they didn't

scare you away."

"You've got to be fucking kidding me. You. Are. Beautiful. I'd like to find the

asshole that made you feel like you weren't and beat his ass into oblivion." I was
surprised by his protectiveness and resolve. Our relationship had been nothing more
than a few letters and even fewer phone calls, yet the connection we both seemed to
feel was infinite.

"Thanks, Edward… I… well, thanks."

We talked a little more about his show and he told me that he had started writing

a new song. He said that I had inspired his new song and he couldn't wait for me to
hear it. I didn't know quite how to feel about that. Most of the songs on his new
album were full of hate and anger towards his ex. Could I hope that I was helping to

- 57 -

chip that hate and anger away?

The next few days passed in relative quiet with school finishing up and me

spending the rest of my waking hours either talking to Edward, emailing Edward,
waiting for an email from Edward, or waiting for a call from Edward. Rosalie took
Thursday afternoon off and we went shopping with Alice for our outfits for the
upcoming concert a week from Saturday. I still wanted to wear jeans but Alice
wasn't hearing it. I finally agreed to a skirt and blouse as long as she didn't make me
wear a cocktail dress or evening gown as she had originally wanted. I made my case
that it was a rap/hip-hop concert, not the symphony orchestra or the opera that we
were going to attend. She relented at that.

I was happy with the outfit I got. The skirt was white with all over box pleats. It

fell to mid-thigh and was fitted at the waist with a wide brown belt. It was a French
Connection, which apparently meant a lot more to Rosalie and Alice than it did me. I
liked it nonetheless. I was ready to shell out the two hundred dollars it was going to
cost before Alice stepped in and paid for it. I let her. She liked to buy me clothes and
I was too happy to start an argument with her. We found a blouse to go with it that
was sapphire blue and white. It was form fitting and cut low, but not too low. I got
white high heels to wear with it and knew that I would have to practice walking in
them so that I didn't fall on my face and make an ass of myself. Rosalie and Alice
gave me their stamp of approval on the outfit even though I picked it out myself for
the most part.

After that was over, I couldn't wait to get home. Edward was on his way to

Philadelphia to play at Wachovia Center and I was hoping for a call or email. I didn't
have to wait long. As soon as I got home I huffed up the stairs as fast as I could,
hung my new outfit in the closet and sat down in front of my laptop. There it was. A
new message from Edward Cullen. I almost squealed when I opened it. The pleasure
didn't last long though.

Bella,

Sorry I wasn't able to call or write yesterday, it was a bad day. I spent most of the

day on the phone with my lawyer and Seth, my PI. Apparently, Tanya has gone off
the deep end since I left town last week. I don't know what the hell to do. I had to go
ahead and file my custody suit against her, plus I had to ask for temporary custody,
and I had to have a restraining order placed against her to keep her away from my
mother. You're never going to believe the shit she pulled while I was busy with my
show Tuesday night. I don't even really know if you want to hear about this, but I
have to tell someone. It's tearing me up. I'm fighting the urge to say fuck it all and
go home.

- 58 -

Seth reported to me that he was watching the house Saturday night when Tanya

left. He had seen the 12-year-old babysitter and had decided to remain with Abby
that night rather than follow Tanya. He called a friend of his to follow Tanya. I guess
Abby was okay all night, but one of Tanya's drug dealers went to her door at 2:30 in
the morning. That was the guy that scared the babysitter. Seth said he almost shot
the guy because he knew him from other dealings he had around town.

The guy that followed Tanya had even more fun. He got to follow her to the ghetto

where she was photographed purchasing cocaine and prescription pain medications
from a well-known drug dealer. Then, he had the pleasure of following her to some
club where she proceeded to get smashed and fuck some random dude in the
bathroom. Thankfully, I have proof of that thanks to the PI. She left around
midnight, with some other loser, and got behind the wheel of her car to follow this
guy to his place. Somewhere along the way, she was stopped and was arrested for
DUI. She had the audacity to try to throw MY name around to the cops to try to get
out of it. Not sure who bailed her out, but my suspicion points to her mother, who
always bails her out. She wasn't even in jail for 24 hours before she got out and
went to find Abigail.

I guess she must have stayed home and sobered up on Monday, but Tuesday she

was at it again. The drug dealer from Saturday night showed up at the house again
and not only did she give him a fistful of cash, she got some more drugs from him,
and invited him into the house. Abby was there, Bella. Seth assured me that he
watched and listened closely and that if Abby had been in any danger, he would
have intervened, but mostly he took pictures and recorded conversations and such.
After she was sufficiently fucked up, the drug dealer left, and then Tanya left. She
took Abby with her. Seth followed them to my mother's house where Tanya got out
and made a big fuckin' scene in the front yard screaming and yelling, cussing my
mother out, throwing her shoes at her, and threatening to keep Abby from her if she
didn't "stay out of her face." Mom called the police, but by the time they got there,
Tanya was gone. Seth followed her to make sure that Abby got home safely, which
she did, but it could have been much worse. I guess mom filed a complaint against
her for disorderly conduct and trespassing or something. I don't know. By the time I
got to that part, I couldn't even think anymore.

Bella, I'm so fuckin' angry with her. I just don't know how I'm going to manage to

stay on task with this tour. I want Abigail with me, but I have a lot of arrangements I
have to make before I can do that. The good news is that I got an emergency court
date next week so I can stop in Chicago on my way to Seattle, go to court, hopefully
get Abby, and go on to Seattle. I can't wait to get there. I just need a friend, so
much. Thanks for being one and listening. I'll try to call you tonight after the show if
I'm not too drunk. Honestly, I don't think I even want to drink. It would be too

- 59 -

depressing.

Thanks again, Love, Edward

(Is love too strong a word? Because I do feel very affectionate towards you and

our blossoming friendship.)

My heart was absolutely breaking for him. That woman seriously had no business

trying to raise a four-year-old with the shit she was doing. For the first time, I found
myself wishing for the ability to go to Chicago and take Abby away from her mother.
It wasn't the last time I felt like that. I had never been much of the maternal sort,
but Edward's love for his daughter was causing my maternal instincts to kick in. I
was crying as I wrote my reply.

Edward,

I feel quite affectionate towards our friendship as well and I'm really feeling very

protective of your daughter right now. I'm so very sorry you're having to deal with
all this. I wish there was something I could do to make it all go away for you. I'm
fighting the urge to fly to Chicago, take Abby away from that woman, and punch the
bitch in the face. Sorry, I shouldn't call her names, but I have a feeling with her it's
an issue of 'if the shoe fits.'

I really hope that your attorney and PIs can give you enough ammunition to get

temporary custody while you are waiting for your custody case to go through. I just
don't know what you're going to do if not. I can see that this is really weighing heavy
on your mind and I want so much to be able to make it better for you. I really do.

Please don't ever worry about calling me any time day or night. School is out so I

don't have anything to get up early for right now. I've chosen not to offer any
summer courses this year in an attempt to remember how to enjoy life for a change.
I'm available any time you need to talk. If what you need is a friend, I'm your girl.

Take care, Edward. Really. Remember to take care of yourself.

Love,

Bella

Talking to Edward later that night was even worse. I wasn't sure, but I thought I

detected sobbing in his voice at one point in time. That might have been the first
time that I realized that all the affection and protectiveness I was feeling towards

- 60 -

Edward was turning into love. How I could fall in love with someone I hadn't met, I
didn't know, but there it was. I loved him. I can't say that I told him that. Not then. I
wish I had, but I just didn't have the guts. I started counting down to his court date
on Wednesday of the next week. I just hoped and prayed that it went well for him.

End Note: SO, after Atlantic City, EC Velvet is headed to Comcast Theater

in Hartford, Connecticut. Militza, I sent your VIP passes, make sure you get
there on time BB. VIP passes go to all reviewers for the show in the nearest
city so hurry up and get in line ya'll! We need to sell these shows OUT!

- 61 -

Justice

A/N Thanks for all the reviews! I hope you are all enjoying your VIP passes.

This chapter is pretty angsty and a lot of "unsureofmyselfward". Hope you
enjoy it. He's kind of cute this way, in my opinion. Forum Stalkers... You
Rock Ladies!

I'm always trying to think of new ways to thank you Miss Lillie, but I'm

falling short today. Anyway, you're fabulous, I hope you know that by now. I
love you like a sister, darlin'.

Disclaimer: You know the drill. SM owns and all that. I own this story, my own

OC's, and Rapward.

Edward

I know my jaw dropped to the floor when I received Bella's pictures. It was the

woman I had seen in my dreams for weeks. How my dreams could have been so
accurate in depicting her without ever having laid eyes on her, I didn't know. All I
knew was that she was fucking gorgeous and adding her beauty to her wonderful
personality was a complete bonus for me.

After Atlantic City and Hartford, we took off for Philadelphia. The shows were

going great and I was really enjoying being back on tour if it weren't for my bitch
ex-wife. She was making my life hell. I was on the phone daily with Seth and the
attorney. Esme was pissed that I put a restraining order against Tanya. She wanted
to be able to see Abby. I tried to explain to her that she could still see Abby, but she
pointed out to me that Tanya was pissed off and not letting her see Abby. I assured
her that after the temporary custody hearing, I hoped that she would be keeping
Abby for a little while.

The worst part of the whole situation was that the media had caught wind of the

'Tanya affair' and was smearing me all over the newspapers and television for not
cancelling my tour. I don't know what the hell they wanted from me. If I cancelled
the tour they would smear me for that and if I didn't cancel it, I was a bad father. It
was enough to make you want to quit and not live 'the life' anymore. Having
paparazzi crawling up your ass all the time was bad enough without the media
questioning your parenting abilities because your ex-wife was a fuckin' idiot.

I had Philadelphia and Pittsburgh to go before I went to Chicago for the hearing

- 62 -

and then on to Seattle. I was dying to get to Seattle. I had arranged to have 3 days
there so that Bella and I could spend some time together if she wanted to. I was a
little scared that Tanya was going to fuck up my plans and I would not be able to
meet Bella. It wouldn't have been the first time that she fucked up my plans.

I talked to Bella on the phone every day and we emailed every day too. She was so

easy to talk to. She listened so well and was always interested in what I was saying
even if I was just talking about mundane shit. We were learning more about each
other all the time and I realized on more than one occasion that I was falling in love
with her before I had ever met her. I wanted to tell her so badly, but didn't want to
scare her away. She had a rough go of it, too, and I wasn't sure if she was ready for
a new relationship, especially one with me. I thought about all the things in her life
that would change if she was with me and wondered if it was even fair of me to think
about having a relationship with her. She'd have reporters and paparazzi following
her around everywhere she went. Nothing in her life would be private anymore. Her
life would turn into an open book for the whole world to read. Bella was a very
private person. I knew she wouldn't like being in the spotlight like that, but I
couldn't just turn my back on her. Every time I thought about how wrong of me it
was to want a relationship with her, something drew me back to her and to the
thoughts of wanting to have her with me.

The day before the hearing, I arrived in the Pittsburgh airport to a throng of

reporters shoving their microphones in my face and asking me questions. Rhianne
and the two bodyguards tried to keep them away from me, but it was no use. It
seemed like there were just too many of them. Rhianne tried to do damage control
and tell them all that I had no comments at this time, but they weren't satisfied with
that. To top it all off, Bella called while I was right in the middle of that mess. There
was no way I was letting anyone see my phone or hear her voice and start new
rumors that I was seeing someone else. It wouldn't take them long to figure it out
and she wouldn't have a moment's peace after that. Begrudgingly, I hit the ignore
button while the phone was in my pocket and kept walking.

When we landed in Chicago, it was even worse. I walked out into O'Hare airport to

another sea of reporters. When my bodyguards started walking through them, it was
like the parting of the Red Sea. We finally made it to the car and I breathed a sigh of
relief as I pulled my phone out of my pocket and dialed Bella's number.

"Edward? Are you okay? Oh my God, I just saw you on the news! Those people are

relentless!"

"Great, I was hoping you didn't see that. I'm okay. Are you?"

- 63 -

"I'm fine. I don't have all those reporters after me wanting to know all about my

private life." It was just another affirmation to me that trying to have a relationship
with her wasn't a good idea. I didn't know what the hell I was thinking, dragging her
into my life.

"Bella…" I started to say it to her, to tell her that we shouldn't be friends, that I

wasn't good for her, but I couldn't make the words come out of my mouth. I needed
her too much.

"What is it? What's wrong?

"Nothing. It's just been a long day already. My mouth was in gear before my brain

was. Forget it." Dumbass chickenshit. Just tell her.

"I'm so sorry. Are you going to be able to see Abby today?"

"I'm going to try. I don't know if Tanya will let me or not." I was miserable

thinking about what was sure to be a confrontation with Tanya. I fully intended to go
pick Abby up and take her to my downtown apartment for the night but I didn't have
any idea whether Tanya would let me take her or not.

"Surely she has to let you, doesn't she? I mean, you have joint custody and you

have visitation, right?"

"Yeah, but with Tanya things aren't always black and white. Everything is gray.

She makes up the rules as she goes along to suit her own purposes." I felt myself
relaxing while I was talking to Bella. Just hearing her voice made all the bad things
in my life seem not so bad anymore.

"I wish there was something I could do." I wished she knew that just being there

was the most important thing she could do. Her selfless care for my situation
astounded me.

"Bella, you're my friend, and truthfully, you're one of the very few that I have.

That, in and of itself, means more to me than anything else you could ever do. Thank
you."

"I find it hard to believe that you don't have friends, Edward, but you're welcome.

It makes me feel really good that you feel like you can talk to me and that my
friendship is help enough."

We talked a little more. I told her I planned to go pick Abby up and would let her

- 64 -

know how that went. When we hung up, she wished me luck. If only luck were all I
needed.

Once we made it to my house, I took my bag inside and showered quickly. I

changed and went downstairs and out to the garage where my faithful Volvo was
parked. I stared at it for a minute. I had a serious desire to ditch it. There would
probably be reporters waiting for me everywhere and my Volvo was a well-known
asset of mine, they would be watching for it. I sighed and shrugged as I got in. It
didn't matter. They were going to find me no matter what I was driving. I headed for
Tanya's house and braced myself. Seth was there watching the place and I knew
that if there was anything I needed to concern myself with, he would have called me.

I pulled up in front and got out of the car. I looked around for Seth and noted his

vehicle across the street and down the block a ways. He nodded his head once at me
and I nodded back. I turned around to look at the house and drew in a deep breath
before I started walking towards the front door. Tanya was out the door before I got
there.

"What the fuck are you doing here?"

"I came to see my daughter."

"Well turn around and get back in your car. You're NOT kidnapping her from me

today!"

I stared at her. Did she just say kidnap? "What are you talking about, Tanya? I

have visitation rights. I haven't seen her in almost two weeks. I want to see my
daughter. Don't make me call a cop."

"You call the cops, Edward. Go right ahead. You're not getting her today and

you're definitely not getting her tomorrow. You had just better think again."

"Tanya, can't you just be reasonable? I know she's here. Just let me keep her

tonight. I won't be back in town for quite a while. Can't we just put our differences
aside for Abby's sake?"

"Fuck you, Edward. Get the hell out of here and don't fucking come back. She's

not going with you and that's final. We may have joint custody, but I have residential
custody, and after tomorrow I'm going to have sole custody. I make the rules in this
game because I'm her MOTHER. Children belong with their mothers and that's
that." I could see that I wasn't going to win this battle so I backed off.

- 65 -

"Fine. I won't see her tonight, but it's not going to make you look good in court

tomorrow that you wouldn't let me."

"I don't care. Get. Out."

I heaved a breath and turned around to go back to the car. When I climbed in, I

saw Abby looking out the upstairs window crying. I stood up and blew her a kiss and
Tanya's mother picked her up and whisked her away. Bitch.

With nothing left to do, I drove downtown to my waterfront apartment. At least I

had Lake Shore Drive to keep my mind occupied for a few hours. I received a text
from Seth stating that he had recorded the whole conversation. How he had done
that, I had no idea, but I was glad he did. He also texted me when Tanya's mother
left a couple of hours later. I had fallen asleep in my chair in front of the television
later that evening and woke with a start at midnight to the sound of someone
banging on my door. What the? Who got in here without my giving permission for
them to come in?

I walked over and threw the door open, expecting to find some crazed fan, a cop, a

reporter, anything but what I did find. It was Seth. He had Abigail asleep in his
arms. My eyes widened as I stepped aside for him to walk into my apartment.

He whispered, "Where do you want me to put her?"

I motioned for him to follow me and led him into her bedroom. He laid her on the

bed and I took her shoes off her. She opened her eyes long enough to see me and
smile. She wrapped her little hand around my finger and said, "My daddy," before
rolling over and falling back to sleep. I knew that Seth was going to see the tears in
my eyes when I looked back up at him and followed him out of the room.

"What happened?" I demanded.

"She left her there, alone. I couldn't just stand by and watch anymore."

"WHAT? She left her home ALONE? What… I don't… what the fuck, Seth? Where

did she go?"

"Calm down, Edward. Brady is on her. Don't worry. We'll know exactly where she

went."

I sat down and held my head in my hands. "What am I gonna do, Seth? I can't… I

don't… I need… oh God." I started sobbing. What would have happened if Seth had

- 66 -

not been there? What if it had not been the first time? I knew right then that there
was no way that Abby was ever going back to Tanya again.

Seth stayed with me until I calmed down. It took a while, truthfully. All of the

mourning for my marriage, the love that Tanya and I had lost, the time spent away
from my daughter, everything came to the surface for me and for the first time it
wasn't just hate. I found that I truly was sad for the losses I had endured.

Tanya and I had been high school sweethearts. When I left for college, I had left

her behind, promising to marry her someday. When I decided to quit college and
explore a career in the music business, I had made good on my promise to marry
her. We were young and stupid and in love. By the time she was pregnant with Abby,
things had started to change between us, but we tried to hold it together. At least I
did.

Tanya's drug problem had started after Abby was born. I tried so hard to give her

all the love she needed to keep her away from the drugs and all the stuff that came
with them. It just was never enough. She was out screwing around all the time, high
or drunk all the time, ignoring Abby all the time.

My career was starting to go gangbusters and it got harder and harder to put up

with Tanya behaving the way she did. It was taking its toll on me and something had
to change. That was when I decided I couldn't do it anymore and had bought her the
house and moved her out. She went crazy then. Although, she managed to keep it
together enough in public to make me look like the bad guy in court. Well, that
wasn't going to happen again.

Two hours later I thanked Seth for being there to rescue my baby girl and for

being there for me while I had my nervous breakdown. I had never cried so many
tears. Amazingly, as soon as Seth walked out my door, promising to meet me in
court in the morning, Bella was the first name that came to my mind. I walked to
Abby's bedroom door and watched her sleep for a few minutes. She was so beautiful
and innocent. I hoped to keep her that way.

Bella answered on the first ring. I surprised myself when I started to cry again.

She was so understanding and gentle. I didn't deserve someone as wonderful as her.
She listened to me go on and on about all the things that I had been thinking and
grieving about in the last couple of hours. She didn't question me. She didn't judge
me. She didn't laugh at me. She just listened.

After we hung up, I stood in the living room staring out the windows at the lake. It

was almost four in the morning and I knew I had to get some sleep. I looked around

- 67 -

and decided on the couch as it was closest to Abby's room. I was afraid she would be
scared when she woke up.

I didn't have to worry that Abby would awaken before me in the morning. At seven

my phone rang. It was Tanya.

"Where the fuck is she, Edward? I'm calling the cops. You bring her home right

fucking now!"

"Why don't you just stop while you're ahead, Tanya. You left her ALONE last night.

A four-year-old. ALONE. Do you have any idea how fucking irresponsible that is?
What the hell were you thinking?"

"What I do with my time is none of your goddamn business. Where are you? At

your house or your apartment? I'm coming to get her so you better just tell me
which one."

"First of all, where I am is none of YOUR goddamn business. Secondly, what you

do IS my business if you put my daughter's life in danger. Thirdly, you're not taking
her anywhere. She's with me and she's safe. I'll see you in court at ten." I hung up to
the sounds of her screaming and yelling at me. Of course, as soon as she realized I
had hung up, she called again. I turned off the cell. Before long, the phone at the
apartment started ringing. I unplugged it. Rather than arguing with her, I just
ignored her and went to the kitchen to fix pancakes for my baby.

Abby screamed around eight. I ran to her bedroom door and as soon as she saw

me she squealed and ran over to jump into my arms. She held me so tight. It was
heaven.

"It's alright, baby, daddy's here," I crooned in her ear.

"I missed you, daddy! Where you been?"

"I had to go on tour for work, baby, remember?"

"Oh yeah!" she said with a smile. All was right with my heart again. I had my baby

back in my arms. She devoured her pancakes as though she hadn't eaten in days. I
was curious.

"What did you have for supper last night, baby?"

"Chips!" she said, happily. Chips. Fucking. Bitch. She fed my daughter CHIPS for

- 68 -

supper and then put her to bed and left her in the house ALONE. I held my tongue,
but my mind was going a thousand miles an hour. I also noticed that Abby's hair was
a mess and her face had dirt on it. Her feet looked like she had been playing outside
in the mud without shoes on. I was so pissed.

I ran her a bath and went to find some clothes for her. I didn't have much at the

apartment, but I did find some clean pajamas to put her in. I turned the cell on long
enough to call my mom and ask her to come get Abby and buy her some clothes.
While I was on the phone with her, Tanya beeped in three times. I was really
surprised she hadn't shown up at my door yet. I didn't answer her. As soon as I hung
up with mom, I called my attorney and let him know what had happened. Abby was
watching cartoons and seemed to be happy with that, so I took care of all the
business I needed to take care of which included calling Rhianne and telling her to
find out what had happened to Abby's au pair. I was going to need someone quick
and I was going to need someone I trusted. No way was I leaving Abby in Chicago
with her mother on the loose.

Mom arrived and Abby was extremely happy to see her. She took her and told me

to leave her as long as I needed to. I thanked her and headed out for court. I wanted
to be early and didn't want to be at home waiting for Tanya to show up.

I was so relieved when the hearing was over. The judge had granted me

temporary sole custody after Seth's testimony and had set a trial date for the
custody trial at a convenient time for me. Tanya had freaked out in the courtroom
and gotten herself thrown in jail for contempt of court before it was all over. I
couldn't say I was sad about that. She deserved it. She was screaming and shouting
obscenities at the judge. I was really glad that Abby was with my mom and not in the
courtroom to see her mother's breakdown. I was pretty sure that Tanya was high
while in court, but couldn't prove it. I just knew from her behavior patterns that
being high was the most likely explanation.

In elation, I called Bella on my way to my mom's house. "I got her, Bella!" were

the first words out of my mouth when she answered the phone. She squealed and it
brought a huge smile to my face.

"I'm so happy, Edward! I knew you would get her!"

"I'm glad somebody knew. It wasn't until Seth gave his testimony that the judge's

tune changed. I was sweating there for a bit."

"I just know everything is going to work out for you, Edward. You deserve some

happiness."

- 69 -

She always knew the right things to say to me. No one could make me feel good

about things like she could. I was overwhelmed with the desire to go to her
immediately. I knew, however, that I needed to stay with Abby for at least a day. I
resigned myself to that, not that it was a bad thing, because it wasn't; my desires
were just in conflict with each other. I didn't really want to take Abby with me to
meet Bella, but at the same time, I needed and wanted to be with Abby. I knew that
Bella would understand, but at the same time, she didn't even know I had planned
on flying to Seattle the next day. I kept it to myself. No sense disappointing her, if
she would even be disappointed.

Rhianne found my nanny and I made arrangements with her to come back to

Abby. Mary was thrilled at the prospect of taking care of Abby again and was even
more excited about going with me for part of the tour. My mother insisted that she
didn't need Mary's help while Abby was with her, but I won out in the end. Abby
would need to get used to Mary again before I sent for them so Mom finally agreed.

Mary arrived at my parents' home on Friday morning and by noon, she and Abby

were best friends again. No one had heard anything from Tanya so I hoped that she
was safely ensconced in jail. By Friday afternoon, I was starting to get anxious for
my Seattle show and, of course, meeting Bella. I booked a flight for early Saturday
morning and had Rhianne make all my requested arrangements for my initial
meeting with Bella. That night, I fell asleep in Abby's room. I kissed her goodbye
early Saturday morning and left her, feeling satisfied that this time she would be
safe.

Bella didn't know I would be coming early. She thought that the first she would

meet me was backstage at the concert. I tried to figure out how to make it work out
as a surprise and it dawned on me to call her friend Alice. It didn't take Rhianne
long to run down Alice's information and before I knew it, I was talking to the most
excited sounding person I had ever talked to before in my life. No wonder Bella
referred to her as 'the pixie on speed.' Once all the plans were made, I boarded the
plane and was on my way to Seattle and to Bella. I felt excitement that I hadn't felt
about anything in so long. I couldn't remember the last time I had felt that way. As
we approached the Seattle airport, my stomach turned in knots hoping that
everything went well. What if she didn't like me?

End Note: OK, Philadelphia and Pittsburgh stops for this chapter so all

you ladies in those areas, review for your VIP passes. Next up is Seattle, and
although backstage passes won't be available for the Seattle show, front row
tickets WILL be available. Sorry, that show is strictly off limits for backstage
for anyone other than Bella and her friends. Review, review, review... EC
Velvet will come to a city near YOU!

- 70 -

Infatuation

A/N Firstly, I suck, totally. I haven't been able to keep up with RL, writing,

and answering reviews lately. I'm SORRY. I HAVE read each and every one
and they are all special to me. I WILL get caught up, I promise. Please don't
stop reviewing just because I'm not answering.

Secondly, here is the moment we have all been waiting for. Bella and

Edward finally meet! Yay! I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it!

Lillie ~ More than Romeo! Your mad beta skills are nothing compared to

the wonderful friend you are. :)

Disclaimer: Don't own anything Twilight, SM has the honor. I own this story line,

my own OC's, and a DVD collection that would rival any video store in town. Any
references to any persons, places, or things that may be real in this story are strictly
for entertainment purposes and are not made with the intention of making a profit,
or even a dime, or anything. (Although I wish I could, I can't.) WARNING: BAD
LANGUAGE appears in this story!

Bella

I remember that day clearly, as though it were yesterday. It was the day I met

Edward and, though my life had changed a lot by then, that was the day it turned
inside out. I had awakened early that morning to the sound of the house phone
ringing, which, as I recall, was very odd since it never did. I heard Alice answer it,
say something very low, and then heard her bedroom door click shut down the hall. I
rolled out of bed and headed for the shower. I didn't want to be awake already
because I figured it would be a late night, but I was too excited about the concert to
go back to sleep.

I stood in the shower forever going over in my mind what I was going to say when

I met him. Hi, Edward, nice to finally meet you. Nice to finally meet you, Edward.
I'm so excited to finally meet you, Edward. Everything sounded totally lame. I finally
decided to quit trying to plan it and just say whatever sounded good at the time, no
matter how much of an idiot I ended up sounding like.

After I got out of the shower, I combed my hair, pulled on a pair of sweats and a

t-shirt, brushed my teeth, and headed out to get some coffee. Alice nearly scared the
shit out of me standing in my bedroom throwing things out of my closet.

- 71 -

"What the hell, Alice?"

She glanced at me absently and said, "I'm trying to find you something to wear."

"Um, I AM wearing something." I hoped she didn't have anything big planned for

the day because I just wanted to relax. It was going to be a big night for me.

Clothing continued to fly out of my closet and I started laughing as Alice tossed

things every direction and cursed under her breath. "You're NOT wearing THAT,"
she said, mid-toss, and continued digging.

I was confused. I looked over at the calendar on the wall. The only entry was

"Edward's Seattle concert" for the day. Alice was acting very strangely and I hadn't
had any coffee yet to get my brain kick-started enough to even remotely understand
what she was doing. I shrugged and brushed past her to go downstairs and get the
coffee going. I met up with Jasper and Emmett in the kitchen who were both
whispering about something. They both looked at me with stupid grins on their faces
when I walked in. I walked over to the coffee pot, grabbed a cup, and started to
pour. "What's going on, guys?"

Emmett handed me the cream and said jovially, "Nothin', Bella. What's up with

you today?"

I eyed him suspiciously while putting cream in my coffee and reaching for the

sugar. "Nothing, Emmett. What are you so happy about? And why are you over here
so early?"

Emmett had his usual 'deer in the headlights' look that he always gets when he's

been busted with his hand in the cookie jar. "I, uh, Jasper… called me."

I sat down on one of the barstools and looked them both over carefully. I could

hear Alice still unloading my closet upstairs. Something was going on. I was positive
when Rosalie walked in, already made up for the day, carrying her coffee cup. She
was… cheerful, which is a stretch for Rosalie. She walked over and kissed Emmett
before saying, "Good morning, Bella, Jasper. Where's Alice?"

"Morning, Rose. Alice is upstairs deconstructing my wardrobe. What brings YOU

over so early? Did Jasper call you, too?"

Jasper stood and walked out of the kitchen with Emmett right behind him. Rosalie

looked guilty as hell, but just as I was about to confront her to find out what the hell
was going on, Alice appeared beside me, out of breath, and started pulling on my

- 72 -

arm. Rose grinned knowingly and grabbed my other arm. They started upstairs with
me asking a thousand questions.

"What are you guys doing? Where are we going? What's going on?"

"We're taking you out for breakfast," Alice said resolutely.

"And then a spot of shopping," Rosalie added.

I stopped on the spot, just as we were entering my bedroom. "No, I'm not going

shopping today. I need to rest."

"Okay, we'll skip the shopping, but you will agree to go to breakfast with us?"

Alice glanced at her watch as she spoke and Rosalie looked repeatedly between
Alice and myself. I walked over, sat down on the bed, and crossed my arms.

"WHAT is going on? You two are acting freaking weird and I want to know why.

I'm not going anywhere until one of you spills."

I watched as the expressions on Alice and Rosalie's faces changed from

excitement to seriousness. "Bella," Alice began, "please, just trust us, just this once.
We would never do anything to hurt you. We have, well, there is a surprise for you.
We don't want you to be embarrassed. Could you please just put on these jeans and
this blouse?" She handed me a pair of jeans and a pink and white blouse that she
had found in my closet, along with a pair of sandals.

I was still suspicious, but since they had both calmed down, I nodded and started

changing. Rosalie strolled over and looked out my bedroom window. I was totally
clueless as to what was going on. After I changed, I looked at both of them and said,
"Well? Is this better?"

Rosalie grabbed my arm, leading me out of the room and down the stairs and said,

"Yeah, that's better. Trust me when I say you'll be happier with that."

We arrived in the living room to the sounds of Jasper and Emmett playing their

stupid video games. Emmett was whooping and hollering and Jasper was quietly
telling him to shut up. The two of them were hilarious together. Emmett was so
boisterous and Jasper was so quiet and subdued.

A short amount of time passed and no one had mentioned going to breakfast, so

again, I was suspicious. I drank coffee and chatted with the girls. Jas and Em
continued to play games. Alice kept looking at her watch. When I thought I couldn't

- 73 -

take any more, there was a knock at the door. Emmett reached up and shut off his
game, Jasper looked over at the door, Rosalie froze, and Alice looked at me
expectantly.

"Isn't anyone going to answer the door?" I said, thinking that it must be family;

otherwise, we would have gotten a call from the guard at the gate wanting to know
if whoever it was could come in.

"It's for you," Alice said softly.

Suddenly, the light went on in my head. It had to be Edward. That was why

everyone had been acting strangely all morning. It was why Alice and Rosalie had
made me change my clothes. Just as quickly as I realized all of that, I completely
freaked out. My hands started shaking and my knees felt weak. As I stood and
headed towards the door, I was afraid I was going to pass out cold on the floor. I
tripped over my own feet and almost took a header onto the tile floor in the
entryway. The doorbell rang and I tried desperately to compose myself as I reached
for the handle.

I pulled the door open and stood there, with my mouth open I'm sure. I had known

all along that I didn't deserve someone like him. I had lived with the realization that,
in all probability, nothing would ever come of our friendship. When I was face to
face with him, I was struck by how very handsome he really was. All of my feelings
started gushing towards the surface as I took in his features. A beautiful crooked
smile tipped one corner of his mouth, the light danced in his sparkling green eyes,
and his messy bronze hair looked unkempt and perfect at the same time. He had a
day's growth of facial hair that shadowed his face, his features were chiseled, and
the platinum chain around his neck stood in stark contrast with his tanned skin. As I
quickly scanned the rest of him, I noted his biceps bulging out of the sleeves of his
tight fitting black t-shirt, his muscular chest and abs, and the casual tight fitting
blue jeans he always wore.

"Edward!" I squeaked, then cleared my throat. "You're early!"

For the first time, I heard that velvet voice that had first caught my attention say,

"Hi, Bella. I hope it's okay that I'm early."

Have I mentioned that I was a puddle on the floor? Because, yeah, it was surreal. I

was just fucking amazed that he was standing there, on my doorstep, smiling at me,
talking to me… I was in a daze of utter disbelief. The part of me that was EC Velvet's
fan was freaking out and the part of me that loved Edward had butterflies in her
stomach. I was afraid to open my mouth to speak because I didn't want to sound like

- 74 -

a complete flake. I also didn't want to stand there looking like I was deaf, mute, and
dumb.

"Of course it's okay! Please, come in!" I managed to get out as I reached my hand

out. He took my hand in his and I marveled at his long fingers as he brought my
hand to his lips and kissed the back of it. His other hand held out a beautiful
bouquet of daisies, lilies, and orchids. I took them from him and thanked him,
smelling them while he spoke.

"I'm so glad to finally meet you, Bella. You have no idea. May I hug you?"

Fuck and me. Not only was he a wonderful, sensitive, kind man, who just

happened to be a superstar, he was handsome, well built, and a gentleman to boot.
Rather than answering him, I stepped into his arms and wrapped my arms around
his neck, putting my face against his chest. His arms slid around my waist and
pulled me in tight. His scent was breathtaking and I closed my eyes and enjoyed
being near him. I whispered, "I'm really happy to meet you, too, Edward."

I could hear the voices of my friends in the living room and knew I needed to take

him to meet them before they went all stalker on our asses. I looked up at him and
found him staring down at me. I smiled and said, "Do you mind coming inside and
meeting my friends?"

"Of course not," he said, releasing me. His hand caught mine and I smiled at him

as I led him into the living room. All conversation stopped short and four pairs of
eyes stared at us.

I pointed to each one of them as I introduced them. "Alice, Rosalie, Emmett,

Jasper, this is Edward Cullen, my friend from Chicago." Edward squeezed my hand
and then released it, stepping forward to shake each of their hands. I watched him
in amazement at the ease with which he spoke to each of them and acknowledged
them as though he had known them forever. He thanked Alice for making the
arrangements for him to come in early and then congratulated her and Jasper on
their recent engagement. He commented to Rosalie on her car dealership and
mentioned that he might have to take a side trip there to check out her cars and see
if she could make him a deal. When he got to Emmett, he thanked him for disposing
of Newton. None of them embarrassed me, and I was thankful for that. I had been
worried that Emmett would embarrass the hell out of me, but he was abnormally
well behaved, for Emmett.

"I gather that Bella is bringing you all to the show tonight?" he asked them when

he was done greeting each of them. They all nodded and he said, "Great! A car will

- 75 -

be around to pick you all up at seven. Will that work?"

"That sounds perfect!" Alice said in her excited sing-song voice.

Edward turned to me and asked if he could take me to breakfast. Not being one to

turn him down, I agreed and we left. We walked out to the driveway and he opened
the passenger door to a very non-descript passenger car. "It's a rental. I'm trying to
be inconspicuous," he said with a chuckle.

We talked while Edward drove. He listened to the directions that the car's GPS

gave him. "Rhianne got us reservations for brunch at Salty's. Does that sound okay,
Bella?"

"Wow, that sounds awesome. Am I dressed okay?"

He glanced over at me and smiled that crooked smile again. "You're perfect, I

mean that." His voice was sincere and his smile remained. We continued to talk like
old friends who had not seen each other in years rather than two people who had
just met. He was so comfortable and at ease with me, and I found that I felt the
same way with him after I got over the initial shock of our meeting.

We arrived at Salty's, the Alki Beach location, and had a great table with a

beautiful view of the city. The brunch buffet was fantastic. I went from buffet table
to buffet table looking over all the choices before settling on a strawberry crepe,
scrambled eggs with ham and green onions, hickory-smoked bacon, fresh fruit, and
coffee.

After brunch, we went for a long walk on Alki Beach. Edward talked a lot about

Abby and that she was going to be on tour with him along with her nanny, Mary. I
asked him if that was a good idea.

"I honestly don't know, Bella. I mean, what's better? I leave her in Chicago at the

mercy of her mother while I'm gone? I can't do that. I can't ask my parents to keep
her the whole time I'm gone. I can't cancel the whole tour. I'm kind of stuck. I guess
I'll just have to make it work."

I reached out and grabbed his arm to stop him. His hands were stuffed in his

pockets and when I touched his arm, he pulled that hand out of his pocket and slid it
down to grasp mine. I looked into his eyes and said, as sincerely as I felt it, "I'm
sorry, Edward. I know this must be very difficult for you and I'm sorry you have to
go through it. I know you're a good dad and you will protect her." His eyes softened
immediately and glistened. He was on the verge of tears.

- 76 -

He reached for my other hand. We stood, staring into each other's eyes for a long

moment, our hands intertwined, and a single teardrop rolled down Edward's cheek.
I didn't know what to say or what to do. I had never, in my life, seen a man cry. The
vulnerability it took for him to do that was overwhelming and feelings of love rushed
through me like a tsunami washing over the coast. "Edward, I…" Not knowing what
to say, I stopped. Our gaze continued and then he was moving closer to me. He
released my hands and took my face in his, pulling me close to him. Before I knew it,
his lips were on mine, soft, gentle, caressing. I wasn't shocked. I wasn't fearful. I
found myself thrilled, excited, and I found myself kissing him back, fisting my hands
in his hair, pressing my body against his. He deepened the kiss and I sighed against
his mouth. There was an electricity between us that I had never felt before. The
feeling coursed through me like fire in my veins. The memory of our fist kiss has
been with me ever since, and the feeling has never changed. Edward and I knew
then, as we know now, that we shared a special connection. One that couldn't be
broken. Not by anything.

When we broke the kiss, we held each other tight for a few minutes. Neither of us

spoke a word. We really didn't need to. With my eyes closed and my head nuzzled
against Edward's chest, I listened to his heartbeat and his slow gentle breathing. It
just felt so right to be there with him. I was wondering how he was feeling when he
said, "I've never felt this way about another human being before."

I looked up at him and he gazed down at me. "This is going to be complicated,

Bella."

I smiled. "Well, complicated keeps us on our toes and busy doesn't it?"

He smiled back. "Come on, babe. We've got to go."

He took me back to the house and kissed me goodbye. He told me the car would

pick us up and that Rhianne would meet us when we got to the White River
Amphitheatre. I stood on the front porch and watched him leave, waving as he went
down the street. As soon as he was out of sight, the front door flew open and Alice
and Rosalie descended on me instantaneously.

"You have to tell us EVERYTHING!"

"What happened?"

"Where did you go?"

"Was it awesome?"

- 77 -

"What's he like?"

"Did I just see him KISS you goodbye?"

"Oh my God, Bella!"

I smiled at them knowingly and brushed past them into the house. I went to my

bedroom and flopped on my bed. I replayed the day in my head as Alice and Rosalie
bounced on either side of me, still asking a thousand questions. I finally looked at
each of them and simply said, "He's the one."

Squeals erupted from my two best friends and they finally left me alone with my

thoughts to get ready for the concert. I showered and put on my new outfit. Rosalie
helped me with my hair, but did as I asked and kept it simple. Soft curls falling over
my shoulders. Alice helped with my makeup, and again, she kept it simple as I had
asked. Emmett showed up, dressed in black jeans and a silk collarless button-down
shirt. Jasper came out of the bedroom dressed in blue jeans and a white collarless
dress shirt. As far as I was concerned, we all looked great. I just couldn't wait to get
back to Edward.

As promised, the car picked us up at seven and drove us out to the amphitheatre.

A pretty girl with short auburn hair, glasses, and a black business suit opened the
door of the limo when we pulled up. She zeroed in on me and said, "Hi, Bella! I'm
Rhianne, Edward's personal assistant. You'll all be with me for most of the evening
but Edward does want to see you before he goes on, so let's get there quickly,
okay?" She was very kind, but all business. We all piled out of the car and followed
her in the backstage entrance. My friends were unusually quiet as we walked down
the hallway underneath the stage.

Walking into Edward's dressing room was an experience in and of itself. Rhianne

turned to me and said, "He's not here, but will be in just a few minutes. Make
yourselves at home and help yourselves to anything you see in here that you would
like, okay?"

I thanked her and she left us. As soon as the door closed, Emmett said, "Holy

fucking shit, Bella! Look where you've brought us!" I laughed because he was like a
kid in a candy shop, running from thing to thing. Jasper was excited, but more
subdued, as usual. Alice was, well, Alice, and Rosalie was more amused by watching
Emmett's excitement than she was in looking around. I took the scene in quietly.

There was a large clothing rack that held about twenty pair of jeans, all Levi 501

button-fly. It also held about twenty black t-shirts. There were also about twenty

- 78 -

pair of white custom made Adidas', each with a pair of white socks neatly draped
across them. I chuckled and looked around for underwear. I wasn't disappointed.
Next to the clothing rack was a small table, the only thing on it, what I estimated to
be about twenty pair, of black silk boxers.

My eyes moved on around the room and took in the table full of drinks. There was

everything from a fully stocked bar to Pepsi. There were also numerous bottles of
plain water along with several bottles of Italian Soda water. A lovely buffet table
held large trays of fresh fruits and cheeses. Nothing at all seemed out of the
ordinary. Most everything in the room, save for the soda and the liquor was healthy.
My eyes fell on the six triangle shaped boxes of Toblerone chocolate and the box of
brown sugar and cinnamon Pop Tarts. I chuckled. Well, there had to be something,
right?

Jasper and Emmett helped themselves to a beer while Alice and Rosalie poured

themselves a glass of wine. I opted for a bottle of water and sat down in a nice
comfy chair to wait. As it turned out, I didn't have to wait long. The door flew open
and Edward rushed in, lifting me off the chair and shouting, "Bella!"

End Note: Review, review, review, oh, and did I mention, review? This

week's concert is, of course, in Seattle at the White River Amphitheatre.
Although NO backstage passes are available for this show, there is a
SPECIAL SECTION right in the front for reviewers and fans of this story!
The password is "Infatuation." :)

- 79 -

Velvet

A/N So, here we go with Bella meeting EC Velvet for the first time! Before

we get started, I have a couple of housekeeping items to attend to.

1. Lillie Cullen, My beta, My sister, My friend. Thank you.

2. There IS an official playlist for this story that I will have posted on my

profile in a couple of days. Until then, if you would like to see it, the link is
posted on the thread for "The Letter" at Twilighted(dot)net. It is under the
fic section, all human. 18 years of age and older only please. If you are not
yet 18, I will get it up on my profile soon.

3. Theme song for this chapter is Beautiful by Akon, featuring Colby

O'Donis and Kardinal Offishall. Listen to it when Edward sings his "new
song" during the show in the chapter.

4. I have the great pleasure of announcing the debut of a new website that

I have the honor of being part of. The Secret Twilight Garden is a group blog
effort with myself, Lillie Cullen, Jilburfm, JustBiteMePlease, and Lead69.
Come join us as we discuss fan fiction stories we consider to be the gold
standard of fan fiction, the hidden treasures waiting to be explored, writing
tips, interviews, you name it! You can even listen to playlists of each Garden
contributor. This month Lillie Cullen's official "Lessons" playlist is on the
main page. Come join in the fun! Right now you can read interviews of all
the collaborators and find out lots of interesting things about all of us! The
link is on my profile.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything Twilight or Hip-Hop or Rap or Musical at all,

except my well-loved piano that is gathering dust during my Twilight addiction. No
copyright infringement is intended.

Bella

I was a little shocked when Edward swung me around. He set me back on the floor

and hugged me tight, grinning like crazy the whole time. He looked around at
everyone else then and said, "Great! Everyone is making themselves at home!
Enjoying yourselves?" as he walked over to the bar and opened a beer. He turned to
me, "Hey, Bella, you want a beer?"

- 80 -

I smiled and said, "No, thank you. I'm good with water." He downed the beer. I

was surprised by this, but realized that he was getting psyched up for the show and
was probably closer to being in what he referred to as 'Velvet mode' than he was to
being his regular self. I was nervous and wondered what was in store. He sat down
in a big overstuffed chair with an ottoman and put his feet up.

"C'mere, Bella!" He waved me over and I walked over to him. Next thing I knew,

he had pulled me down on his lap. He was well into his second beer and was talking
jovially with all of us. He held me tightly while I sat there, and I found that I rather
enjoyed it. He leaned over at one point and whispered in my ear, "You look ravishing
tonight, love." I felt the blush creep into my cheeks when he said it, and when he
kissed my neck after saying it, I flushed from head to toe.

After a while, there was a knock on the door. "Come in," Edward called, and

Rhianne entered with a smile.

"Are you ready for the rest of the guys, Edward?"

"Hop up, hon," he told me, so I did. He bounced out of the chair and told Rhianne

to bring them on in. Shortly after that, another knock came at the door. He glanced
over at me and said, "Now you get to meet my crew, babe." I giggled like a giddy
schoolgirl. All of his little pet names for me were so cute and I liked seeing him
happy and carefree like that. It was really different than the quiet and somber
Edward I had encountered earlier in the day. Frankly, I was really liking them both.

The door opened and the five members of Edward's crew came in. He introduced

them each to us and they each made the rounds shaking everyone's hands. "First is
Curtis, you guys know him as Killa Money. This crazy guy here is Jon, but you all
know him as JJ Ritzy because he thinks he has to have the best of everything. Over
here is Brad, better known as Tenacious V, who is the heart of the singing in this
group, the rest of us are the rappers, Brad is the singer. This one here is Ray, but
you all know him as Manic E because he's a crazy dude. Last, but not least, my
friend for years, is Chris, Brotha T." It was really amazing to meet each one of them
and see how different they were in person than they were on television. I had
thought maybe only Edward was the one who was different, but I found that they all
were. It made me realize that probably everyone was that way and I found it easier
to understand the differences in Edward.

All of us visited for a while and then Rhianne came in to tell them it was twenty

minutes to stage time. Edward immediately became all business. "Rhianne, would
you go ahead and escort Bella's friends backstage and show them where their seats
are?" My four friends waved goodbye to me as they followed Rhianne out of the

- 81 -

room. I knew that the show was already going with the opening act, but found that I
much preferred being with Edward and seeing what he did to prepare for a show.

Edward and his 'crew' all stood in a circle. They started rap battling and it was

really fun to watch. I sat back in a chair, drinking my water and watching. After a
few minutes of battling, which Edward won, they all joined hands. Edward looked
over to me and said, "Hey, Bella, come join us." I walked over to the circle and stood
between Edward and Chris. They each grasped one of my hands and all the guys
bowed their heads. I was surprised, but bowed my head as well. Brad led them in a
really nice prayer, asking God to be with them on stage and assist them to perform
up to the expectations of their fans. He also asked a blessing on me and my friends
and I really appreciated that. At the end, he also asked for a blessing for Edward's
and my new friendship. I blinked back the tears in my eyes as I chorused "Amen"
with the rest of them. Edward squeezed my hand and I squeezed his back. A knock
at the door and Rhianne's voice told us we had eight more minutes. The rest of the
guys said goodbye and headed out. Edward hung back and turned to me.

He placed his finger under my chin to bring my face up to look into his. He was

smiling and his smile danced around his eyes. I couldn't help but to smile back at
him. "I know I'm… different… this evening than I was this morning, Bella. I
appreciate your acceptance of that. Thank you for being here with me. This just
might be my best show ever."

"Thank you for sharing this experience with me, Edward. I'm really enjoying it,

and you aren't THAT much different."

He grinned and said, "Wanna bet?" His arms encircled me and his lips crashed

into mine with a wanting that was completely different than the tender kiss we had
shared after brunch. It made my knees weak and I slumped into his arms. He held
me even tighter and deepened the kiss even more, until we were both panting and
needing air. When I opened my eyes, I found my fingers tangled in his hair, his face
just inches from mine with a broad smile, and our bodies pressed together as close
as they could be. He pushed a stray strand of hair behind my ear, kissed me chastely
one more time, and then stepped away, taking my hand. I followed him closely and
found myself standing on the side of the stage where he was going to go on. I could
hear the cheers of the crowd as EC Velvet was being announced. Rhianne was fitting
his wireless mic on him. There was an electricity and excitement in the air that was
really hard to describe and next thing I knew, I was standing next to Rhianne,
watching EC Velvet, the man I was in love with, perform for his fans.

I'll never forget that first show. It was fucking amazing. I mean, you just never get

to the point where you are tired of the crowd, seriously. They just create something

- 82 -

amazing in the air and you feed off it. I found myself singing along with him many
times, clapping my hands, my arms in the air when he yelled, "Put your hands in the
air!" It was fuck-awesome and I was backstage. I couldn't even begin to imagine
what it was like out there in the crowd. I still do it, to this day, every time I'm
backstage at a concert. I get really excited and really worked up. It's no wonder
Edward gets like that.

I was really fascinated at all the people behind the scenes that it took to put on a

show like that and spent a lot of time watching them. There were people running
every direction and Rhianne was talking on her headset almost the whole time. She
had to leave a lot, but came to check on me frequently. She even brought me a
chair, which I thought was nice, but I didn't use it much. I did notice that Edward
had two rather large bodyguards that were very quiet, but always very close to him.
The only place they had left him alone was in his dressing room. I wondered how
annoying it was to have that whole entourage of people with you all the time. I was
pondering that when I heard Edward say something that took me aback.

"Alright, folks, I'm going to do something a little different here. We're going to

slow things down a little and take a break. I have some special guests tonight that I
want to recognize."

I was pretty sure I had a stroke right then. My entire body was paralyzed with

fear. If he asked me to go on stage, I didn't know if I could do it. I stared out at him,
wondering what was happening.

"My five guests know who they are. Because I don't want to make their lives hell,

I'm not going to name them, but this song, which has never been heard before, was
written this afternoon for one of them."

I breathed a sigh of relief, but then found myself holding my breath again. Song?

New? Written this afternoon? What? And then he was singing it, and it was for me,
and I think I died just a little bit. By the time he was done, I was crying. They were
happy tears, of course, but still. It had sections of singing that was beautiful and
parts of it that were rap. Edward had a beautiful singing voice and could have been
a singer if he had wanted to, but he didn't want to, he wanted to rap. I still tell him
that all the time. He says Brad is the singer. Pfft. Whatever.

Several times during the show, Edward looked in my direction, or came over close

to me. He was always smiling or winking at me and it made me feel quite special. By
the time it was almost over, I was exhausted yet still exhilarated with adrenaline.
Edward and the guys came off stage to prepare for their encore and Edward
grabbed me by the hand, leading me back down to his dressing room.

- 83 -

"So, whaddya think, Bella?" His voice carried excitement that was infectious in it.

"I'm overwhelmed, Edward, it's wonderful." He smiled at me as he opened his

dressing room door and let me go in first. "I thought you had to go back out?" I
asked. I wasn't sure what he had in mind by bringing me back to the dressing room
and was even more unsure when I turned to him and his shirt was off. Holy. Shit.

He winked at me and said, "I do have to go back out, but I'm too sweaty. I need

fresh clothes," he gestured to the rack of clothes I had looked over earlier. I wasn't
sure what I should be doing. Should I turn around? Should I keep watching? Should
I walk over to the drink table and get a fresh bottle of water while carrying on a
conversation of endless prattle? The only thing I knew for sure was that as gorgeous
as Edward was WITH his shirt on had NOTHING on him shirtless! I stared at him
stupidly, checking out his tattoos, until he yanked the button-fly of his 501's open in
one swift movement. I blinked as he yanked them down and stepped out of them. It
must have shown on my face because he laughed.

"Sorry, Bella. I'm used to changing in front of people. I don't have much modesty

left. It's okay if you want to turn around, or watch, I don't care." He had the biggest
grin on his face and I felt myself blushing from head to toe again. He walked over
and grabbed a pair of the underwear off the stack and I felt my eyes widen as my
brain finally kicked into gear and I turned to walk over to the drink table.

My mind was screaming at me. What the fuck are you doing, Bella? You are in the

same room with him naked and you're not even going to sneak a peek? What the hell
is wrong with you? Okay, you respect him and all that, but seriously, he's NAKED!
HE doesn't care if you sneak a peek! The rational side of me countered my
adrenaline-crazed fan-girl side. Bella, this is NOT just a physical attraction. You
don't NEED to see him naked right now. More than likely, you WILL be seeing him
naked… soon. Remember, you fell in love with Edward, not Velvet. You have to
remember who this is in here with you and that if you're looking, he's going to be
self-conscious about it later. Just don't look. Pick up your water, open the bottle,
take a drink, go get a piece of cheese or fruit and eat it. Do. Not. Look.

I still chuckle every time I think of that night. I had gotten a good enough peek at

his shirtless form to know that it was good. I had a really hard time standing there
munching on grapes with my back to him as I recall. It seemed like hours to me,
though I know it was only a minute or two, when he said, "Uh, you can look now,
Bella."

I turned around way too quickly and lost my balance. It was a good thing that he

was nearly right behind me and caught me before I did a face-plant on the floor of

- 84 -

his dressing room. He helped me to stand while I stammered about how clumsy I
was. The softest, kindest smile I had ever seen came over his face. "It's alright,
Bella. You don't have to apologize to me. I think it's endearing." I didn't even have
time to react when he grabbed my hand and said, "You might want to lose the shoes,
we're going to have to run to get back up there in time."

I bent down and yanked my shoes off, he snatched my hand again and we were

off, running down the hall, laughing like schoolchildren on a playground. When we
reached the stage, he gave me a chaste kiss before running out onto the stage. He
did three more songs after he went out and when he said, "Goodnight, Seattle, and
thank you!" I nearly screamed myself.

He ran off the stage and put his arms around me, lifting me off the ground while I

squealed. We turned around to find Rose, Alice, Emmett, and Jasper behind us,
giving congratulations to all the guys on a great show as we all trooped back down
to Edward's dressing room. More like Edward's party room. As soon as we hit the
room, all the guys were at the bar immediately. Edward brought me a glass with a
clear liquid in it on ice. "Here, babe, you need to try this. It's my Okhotnichya Vodka
and I always try to drink it when I feel I have something to celebrate." He stopped
for a moment, smiled, and continued, "And I definitely have things to celebrate
tonight."

We clinked our glasses together and I swallowed the vodka, letting all of its

flavors hit my tongue before allowing it to slide down my throat. It. Was. Amazing.

"Good, right?" Edward grinned.

I nodded and took another sip. It was the most interestingly flavored vodka I had

ever had. I could taste ginger and cloves, a hint of lemon, coffee, and some other
spice flavors that were blended so well that I couldn't quite make them out. It was
also sweet, almost like it had a touch of sugar in it. Edward led me around the room
while he talked excitedly with all of his crew. I noticed when Rhianne came in, the
bodyguards were right outside the door.

I was smitten with Edward. I mean, the letters, emails, and phone calls had been

enough for me to care about him a lot, but this was different. Seeing him in the
flesh, the two sides of him, the sweet way he led me around with his hand on the
small of my back. Just his touch set me on fire. He was so quiet and sensitive earlier
and then he was so excited and talkative later. I didn't even mind that he was
swearing… a lot. That was before the f-word had become a permanent part of my
vocabulary like it is now. I didn't care. It was Edward. I was with him. I didn't care
how crazy and silly he acted when he was performing. I didn't care how sullen and

- 85 -

sad he was when he was away from the excitement of the stage. It just didn't matter.

I wasn't really sure how long we spent in the dressing room just visiting with

everyone and drinking vodka. Emmett seemed to be having the time of his life
talking with all the artists. Rosalie, Alice, and Jasper were really enjoying
themselves as well. I, however, was ecstatic. Edward finally started to wind down a
bit and sat back down in the large overstuffed chair, pulling me onto his lap again. I
giggled as I fell into his arms. When I landed, his arms were around me and his face
was just inches from mine. We stared into each other's eyes.

It's hard to explain the connection we felt. Of course, at the time, neither of us

knew the other one was feeling it, but we have since talked about it many times. We
each felt a pull towards the other one. Edward has said that he felt it even stronger
when the adrenaline from a show was flowing. We both felt it when writing letters,
emailing, and during telephone calls, but when we finally got together, it was almost
overwhelming. It was a strong desire just to be together, in close proximity, and for
me anyway, the more Edward touched me, the more I wanted him to touch me. It
felt really insane to me at the time. Part of me was terrified because of what I had
gone through with Mike. I wasn't sure I was ready to be in another relationship, but
the minute I met Edward, I knew that it wasn't just any relationship, he was my
soulmate.

Edward had been through a lot with Tanya, too. He had a little girl to think about

and a booming career. All of the baggage that he came with was hard to swallow,
but at the same time, it didn't matter somehow. Somewhere inside me I knew that
there wasn't a single thing in Edward's past, present, or future that could scare me
away because the connection I felt with him was bigger than any earthly thing could
break.

As Edward and I sat there staring at each other my mind was reeling and my heart

was soaring. His grip on me tightened and our lips met again. When his lips touched
mine, I could feel it in my toes. I immediately found myself tightening my arms
around him and pushing myself closer to him. I felt like I wanted to crawl inside him.
I wanted to fix all the hurts that were on his heart and make him happy-go-lucky like
he was as EC Velvet all the time. We were well into our kiss and even beyond, were
making out, when Emmett's booming voice interrupted.

"Damn, Bella! I thought you were gonna play hard to get!" That was followed

quickly by the sound of Rosalie smacking him. I giggled and blushed. Edward
laughed aloud. We both turned to look at Emmett whose grin was infectious. We
both grinned back.

- 86 -

"I am playing hard to get, Emmett. What makes you think I'm not?"

Emmett rolled his eyes and the whole room erupted with laughter. Edward and I

quickly picked back up where we left off. After a couple of hours of everyone
hanging out in Edward's dressing room, the party started breaking up. I found
myself sad because I thought that I would probably not be seeing Edward anymore
for a long time after that night. When the rest of the guys started making their way
out, I caught Rosalie yawning. I knew that meant it was time for us to be going.
Although, I was nervous about asking how we were to get home. Apparently,
Edward had seen it too.

"Rhianne, why don't you call for the car so these guys can go home and get some

sleep. They're not used to keeping the same hours I do."

Rosalie quickly thanked him and apologized for being a buzz kill. I wasn't sure if

she was apologizing to me or to Edward, but it didn't matter. I knew it was going to
come to an end sometime. I started to get up from Edward's lap when he stopped
me. He looked at me quite seriously and said, "Bella, I don't want this night to end.
Do you think that, if I'm a gentleman about it, we could stay together tonight and
just talk, or even sleep, but be together?"

I studied his face carefully while I thought back on what Emmett had said at

dinner a few nights earlier. He looked to be sincere and all traces of EC Velvet were
gone from his demeanor. I mulled it over in my mind briefly, already knowing what
my answer would be. I just didn't want to come across as too anxious. His eyes
began to widen a bit as I thought over the options so I let him off the hook by saying,
"I'd really like that, Edward. Would you like to come to my place or did you have
something else in mind?"

"It's up to you, Bella. Whatever you feel most comfortable with. If you would

rather go to your place, that's fine. If not, I have the Luxury Suite booked at The
Sorrento Hotel. You tell me, love."

Love. There was that word again. He stunned me every time he called me that. I'm

pretty sure the most endearing term that Newton ever used for me was "bitch," so
obviously, I wasn't used to being called nice things like, "love."

I considered his request. I wasn't afraid of Edward, not in the least. I knew that he

thought I would be after my experience with Newton and because of his Velvet
persona, but I wasn't. However, I knew that I would feel safer at home with him.
Jasper and Alice would be there. I needed some degree of comfort.

- 87 -

"Would you mind terribly if we went to the house? I'm sorry, I know that suite

must have cost a bundle and…"

"Bella," he said, putting his finger on my lips, "stop. It's okay. I don't mind a bit.

Besides, I don't think the paparazzi can get into your neighborhood and I'm pretty
sure they are going to be on me since they missed me when I disappeared from the
airport this morning. Your place it is!"

He stood and walked over to talk to Rhianne. They spoke in hushed voices for a

few minutes while I gathered my purse and a bottle of water for the ride home. I
thought for a second and then picked one up for Edward, too. I ate a few grapes and
then Rhianne announced that the car was there so we walked out of the dressing
room with her. The bodyguards were there and escorted us to the car, which I didn't
understand until we walked outside and there were hundreds of screaming girls out
there. Edward whispered, "Just don't pay any attention to them, babe, just put your
head down and get in the car." I was thankful he was there holding my hand
because I was just a little more than uncomfortable with all those screaming women.
I did as he had advised, kept my head down and ducked in the car.

Once inside, he scooted close to me and put his arm around me to pull me even

closer. I turned towards him and crossed my legs, letting the top one rest across his
thigh. I wrapped my arms around him and laid my head against his chest and it felt
so good to be held like that. The rest of the ride home was in companionable silence
with Rose and Emmett nuzzling each other and Alice and Jasper holding hands and
watching out the window.

End Note: Reviews are LOVE and VIP passes to EC Velvet shows! Next

show will be in Portland, Oregon as soon as he tears himself away from
Seattle. :) Hurry and sell out the shows ladies!

- 88 -

Breathing

A/N I know that there are some fans of the story who would love to see me

write some of Edward's raps. Unfortunately, I just don't feel comfortable
doing that. Poetry and rhymes are just not my forte. I have decided that
since I can't do it I would like to invite any readers who think they have the
sauce to write an original rap for Edward to do it and PM it to me. If I get a
good one, I'll include it in the story giving the writer full credit for it.
Otherwise, any rapping you read Edward doing in the story is going to be
lyrics that are "borrowed" from someone else or in the form of a "Theme
song" as in the last chapter. Since the story is more about the love between
Bella/Edward and how it evolved, I haven't even decided for sure that I will
write any of Edward's lyrics into the story, but as I said, if I get some that
are good, I will include them.

Now, in the last chapter I neglected to thank a person who helped me a lot

in finding just the right song to USE as the theme song. LolaRose, you know
who you are. Thanks BB. Loves you H&R.

Lillie ~ I heart you hard core BB. Thanks.

The theme song for this chapter is NOT a rap song. It's Breathing by

Lifehouse. If you don't know it, go now and find it. It's awesome and sums
up Edward's attitude in this chapter. Thank you so much to
JustBiteMePlease for inadvertently finding that one for me. LOL

Eoin ~ Disco Inferno. Need I say more?

Please join me on The Secret Twilight Garden to read recommendations,

articles, and all things fun about Twilight fanfiction. http: // www (dot)
secret-twilight-garden (dot) blogspot (dot) com (take out the spaces and
replace the (dot) with . ) This blogsite is a collaborative effort between Lillie
Cullen, jilburfm, lead69, JustBiteMePlease, and myself.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything Twilight or Lifehouse. No copyright infringement

is intended. Does anyone really read these and seriously, isn't it obvious?

I'm finding my way back to sanity again,

- 89 -

Though I don't really know what I'm going to do when I get there.

Take a breath and hold on tight,

Spin around one more time,

And gracefully fall back to the arms of Grace.

'Cause I am hanging on every word you say and,

Even if you don't want to speak tonight that's alright,

Alright with me.

'Cause I want nothing more than to sit outside Heaven's door and listen to you

breathing,

Is where I want to be.

Yeah.

Where I want to be.

I'm looking past the shadows in my mind into the truth and I'm

Trying to identify the voices in my head.

God which one's you?

Let me feel one more time what it feels like to feel alive,

And break these calluses off of me,

One more time.

Edward

We were pulling up to the gate outside the community Bella lived in. The guard let

us through after Jasper poked his head through the window between the front and
back of the limo and said hey to him. I leaned down and looked at Bella who was

- 90 -

snuggled into my chest and holding me as though her life depended on her arms
being around me. I put my cheek against the top of her head and inhaled the fresh
strawberry scent that wafted from her hair. I kissed her head and whispered, "Bella,
you're almost home."

She awoke with a start and her chocolate eyes peered up at me with confusion

written all over her face.

"Bella?"

She shook her head and then a broad smile took over her features. "Sorry, I forgot

where I was for a minute."

I looked at her lovingly. I was a broken man. I knew I was. But to see the beautiful

creature before me so broken tore my heart apart. Since I had first laid eyes on her
that morning, I knew that she was the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.
I had known it before, but seeing her had cinched it for me. I would have given up
everything I had just to be with her if she had asked me to. Well, everything except
Abby, which was the one subject I had not broached with her yet. We had spoken
briefly about Abby, but not in depth. I knew that at some point during our time
together, I had to talk to her about Abby and see how she felt about that particular
part of my life.

All I wanted to do right then was to fix Bella. I wanted to heal all the hurts she had

endured. It was obvious that she suffered from a lack of self-confidence. I could only
guess that it was her ex that had shattered that. I knew exactly how that felt. It was
what had widened the gap between EC Velvet and Edward in me. Tanya had taken
every bit of self-confidence I had and shredded it. The only thing that I was sure of
when she was done with me was that Abby was the greatest accomplishment of my
life. I had channeled any bit of self-confidence I had left into being a good dad and
into being EC Velvet.

The car pulled up in front of the house and the chauffer popped the trunk before

opening the door for us to get out. I walked around to the trunk and pulled out the
bag that Rhianne always had for me in any car I went anywhere in. Sometimes,
there were too many reporters or groupies at the hotels we were booked in and I
had to make a quick getaway to someplace else. Bella raised her eyebrow at me so I
explained quickly. She laughed.

"Well, okay, that sounds like a good enough excuse then."

She took my hand and led me into the house. We said goodnight to Rosalie and

- 91 -

Emmett as they made their way next door to their house. When we walked in the
front door of Alice, Jasper, and Bella's house, I suddenly found myself quite nervous.
I felt… out of my league. Bella must have sensed my hesitation because she stopped
and took my other hand in hers.

"Edward? Are you… uncomfortable… being here with me?"

My eyes welled up with tears. She was so observant of others and their needs. She

was selfless and giving and everything I had never been or ever had in a friend.
"No," I choked, "I'm not uncomfortable with being here with you. I don't think I
could be uncomfortable being anywhere with you, Bella."

"C'mon. Let's go up to my room." She turned and walked up the stairs with me

behind her. A tear spilled out of my eye and down my cheek, which I wiped away
quickly with the back of the hand that was holding my bag.

When she flipped on the light, I immediately noted all the pictures I had sent her

framed and hanging on the wall above her bed. My favorite picture of Abby and me
was in a frame sitting on her bedside table.

She laughed nervously and said, "Well, this is it!"

I placed my bag on her bed and walked over. I picked up the picture and looked

down at it. "This is one of my favorite pictures." I smiled at her when I placed it back
on the bedside table. "Is it okay if I use your shower, Bella?"

She gave another nervous laugh, but said, "Sure! It's right here!" and opened the

bathroom door that adjoined her bedroom. "Can I get you anything while you're in
there? I mean, for after you come out?"

I slipped my hand through her hair and grasped the back of her neck, pulling her

to me so I could kiss the top of her head. "No, babe. I'm fine. I won't be long, okay?"

I walked in the bathroom and closed the door. Bella's bathroom. In Bella's room.

In Bella's house. I glanced around and my eyes fell on her strawberry scented
shampoo and conditioner. After I turned on the water and stepped into the shower, I
opened the shampoo and inhaled. It smelled like Bella. My eyes shifted towards my
bag that carried my usual shampoo and I decided to forego that, squeezing her
strawberry shampoo into my hand. A smirk crossed my face while I washed my hair
with it. I was surrounded with the scent of Bella.

As I usually did when I was showering after a show, I went over the show in my

- 92 -

head. Mostly though, I thought about Bella. She had been so accepting of me when I
was hyped up. I had really been nervous about that. By the time she saw me before
the concert, I was pretty well in Velvet mode. It was something I had to do
consciously, like an actor playing a part. I had to get myself into a place where I
could mentally pull off being Velvet on the stage. After all, what was it if it wasn't a
stage with actors? Of course, once I got on the stage, all it took was the adrenaline
rush from the crowd to maintain and heighten my Velvet persona. What nobody
knew, including Rhianne, was that it was my special vodka that was my mental
trigger to start calming down. I always drank some after a show, but usually not
until after I had imbibed in some other 'adult beverages' first. It had been important
to me to calm down quickly that night, so I hit it right away. It still took a great deal
of time to get down from the high that I got from being on stage. It was a good damn
thing that Bella was so cool and understanding about it all.

I pulled myself out of my reverie and finished my shower. I wrapped a towel

around my waist and started to reach for the door. Fortunately, I stopped myself in
time. It wouldn't do me any good to rush into her bedroom naked, wet, and with only
a towel around my waist. She would get the wrong idea and I would be
embarrassed. I dried off and opened my bag. Jeans. Black t-shirts. Sweats. Black
tanks. I pulled on a pair of boxer briefs, sweats, and a tank. I hoped that Bella
wouldn't mind my casual dress and almost changed, but I realized that I already
knew she wouldn't care.

I walked into the bedroom to find Bella sitting on the bed with a glass of wine in

one hand, a platter of cheese and fruit on the bed, sweats and a tank top on, and a
smile on her face. She patted the bed next to her and handed me a glass of wine
when I sat down.

"Is this okay?"

"It looks great, Bella, thanks!"

There was no awkwardness between us as we sat there silently munching on fruit

and cheese, drinking wine, and reflecting on the day. When we had our fill, Bella sat
the tray on her desk. "Are you tired? You can sleep if you need to."

"I'm tired, but I don't want to sleep right now," I said, turning towards her. "I want

to know all things 'Bella' right now."

She smiled and we began to talk. It was already late but by the time we were

finally starting to fade, it was approaching five in the morning. She had talked freely
to me about her life, her mother, her father, her friends, and her ex's. The one I was

- 93 -

most interested in hearing about was Mike Newton. That one was a real piece of
work. I kept shaking my head as she told me of his transgressions against her.

"Do you think he'll bother you again?"

"Honestly I don't know. I try not to worry about it, but it's always there in the back

of my mind. I'm not even sure he's still in town, but I doubt that he's gone
anywhere."

"I would never let him hurt you, Bella. You know that, right?"

Her eyes showed a sadness in them as she smiled at me. "I know, Edward."

I leaned against the headboard of the bed and gathered her into my arms. She put

her head against my chest and sighed. As I stroked her hair I thought about how
nice it would be to sit with her like that forever. I longed to never have to leave.
Every time I thought about leaving for the rest of my tour that would go on for
several months, my chest got tight. Although I would have Abby with me, it just
wasn't enough. I felt a strong need to have Bella by my side in all things. My
thoughts were lost to how I was going to manage a healthy relationship with her
when I heard her breathing change and I realized she was falling asleep.

"Bella, why don't you lay down. You're tired."

"Mmmm, okay…" she said sleepily. She scooted down and I pulled the covers up

and around her.

"Where do you want me to sleep?" I whispered. I wanted to assume nothing. If she

had someplace she wanted me to be, I wanted to go there.

"Here," she said softly, patting the bed next to her.

My heart soared as I slid between the sheets and scooted next to her. As soon as I

was there, she closed any gap that had been between us and nestled her head on my
shoulder, throwing her arm across my chest. I wrapped my arm around her and held
her tightly as we both drifted off to sleep.

I awoke a couple of hours later to the sound of Bella's voice calling my name. I

looked over at her thinking she was awake, but realized quickly that she wasn't. She
had rolled over and her back was to me, but her body was pressed firmly against
mine. I rolled to my side and put my arm around her. She was dreaming. About me. I
felt a smile creep across my lips when she called my name in her sleep again. I was

- 94 -

just about to slip back into unconsciousness when Bella's phone rang shrilly. She
jumped and looked around, shaking her head. She grabbed the phone off the
bedside table and answered without looking at it. I watched as her face dropped.

"How did you get this number?"

I sat straight up. Oh God, here we go. It's starting already.

"That's none of your business!"

"Just hang up on them, Bella. I'll get you a new phone number."

She looked over at me and shook her head once, her brow furrowed. "I really don't

give a fuck what you think, Mike. You're supposed to be leaving me the hell alone,
remember?"

Mike? Newton?What the…? A light went off in my head and I flew out of the bed

grabbing my cell phone and running out the door and down the stairs. Alice was
standing in the kitchen rubbing her eyes while she made coffee. She looked at me
and blinked.

"Do you get the paper, Alice?"

She nodded as she started to say, "Yeah, but I haven't…"

I didn't stay around to find out. I streaked through the house, out the front door,

and down the driveway to grab the paper. I hit speed dial number two on my phone
and when Rhianne answered I was already back in the house. I was taking the stairs
two at a time while I rapidly thumbed through the pages of the paper. When I
arrived back in Bella's room, she was sitting on the bed crying.

"Damage control, Rhianne. Have you seen the paper yet?" I asked, my hands

shaking while I held the Entertainment section that had a very large and very clear
picture of Bella and me getting into the limo after the show the night before. I sat
down next to Bella and she threw her arms around me. I dropped the paper on the
floor and hugged her to me. I had known something like this would happen. Rhianne
promised to keep my whereabouts secret and to do damage control. I hung up,
tossed the phone, and hugged Bella with both arms.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I shouldn't have…"

"I don't care about the picture in the paper," she sobbed. "Please don't apologize.

- 95 -

The last 24 hours have been the best in my life. I don't want it to end."

I held her away from me and tipped her chin so she was looking at me. It was an

impulse, not well thought out when I said, "It doesn't have to end. Come with me."

As soon as I said it, I regretted it. I didn't want her to feel obligated. I didn't want

her to feel rushed. I didn't want so many things, but I did want her with me.

"Where?" she asked with wide eyes.

"On the tour. Come with me. I can… You don't have to, Bella. Please understand. I

just… I'd like to have you near me. Every time I think about the next few months of
being on tour and only being able to email you or talk to you on the phone, a hole
opens up in my chest and threatens to swallow me. I can't explain it. I'm not sure I
want to. All I know is that my desire to have you with me overrides all rational
thought that I have and… I know it sounds crazy."

"You… you want me to go with you on tour?"

I could see in her eyes that her brain was going crazy so I decided to change the

subject for a while. I had until Monday before I had to leave for Portland. We could
talk about the tour later. Much later. "Let's go get some coffee and you can tell me
what the jerk wanted."

Alice had her laptop in the kitchen and appeared to be working. Bella quickly got

us both a cup of coffee and we sat down at the table to look at the paper. Other than
the picture of us getting in the limo, there was a picture of me on stage and an
article. We read the article together and I was pleased that it was complimentary.
The only thing that irritated me was the last few lines. Clearly, I hadn't thought
things through when I went in the same car as Bella the night before. I had wanted
to protect her from the media speculation so soon. It meant that it wouldn't be long
before she had paparazzi sneaking in her community and hiding in her bushes to
take candid snapshots of my current 'love interest.'

EC Velvet was seen leaving his show Saturday night with a mystery woman,

presumably the one that his new song was written for. Surprise has rippled through
both the media and the fan community overnight as to who the mystery woman is.
Velvet disappeared overnight, not checking in to the Sorrento Hotel as was
expected, although his entourage did check in there. Speculation is running rampant
about one of the most famous rappers of all time being in love with a Seattle woman.

Bella looked up at me with a mischievous grin. "So, are you?"

- 96 -

Alice got up and walked over to the table, sitting down across from us and giving

me her own knowing smile. I wasn't sure what I should say. Was it love? Of course.
Was it the right time to tell her? I didn't know. Would it freak her out if I told her?
Probably. Did she feel the same way? I hoped so.

"You don't have to say if you don't want to, Edward. Sorry."

"Don't be sorry. I'm just trying to decide how best to put it."

A light flickered in her eyes that told me what she was hoping to hear. It gave me

the strength to say what I needed to say. "I am. Okay? You got me. That's the big
secret. I'm head over heels in love with you and I don't want to live another second
of my pitiful life without you." I put it all out there. I laid all my cards on the table. I
exposed my queen and waited for Bella to checkmate me.

Alice squealed.

Bella's jaw dropped open.

I waited silently for her to compose herself enough to speak. For one fleeting

millisecond I was afraid that I had read her wrong, but that faded with the smile that
lit her face. I felt a half-smile curl one corner of my lip as she composed herself and
started to speak.

"I do, too. I mean… I'm… I," she bit her lip and glanced at Alice who was bouncing

up and down in her chair.

"I'm in love with you, too, Edward. I just didn't think that… well, that you would be

interested in someone like me in that way."

My brow furrowed. "In that way?"

Rather than answering me, she threw her arms around me and kissed me. "Forget

I said that. It's just a little seed that Emmett planted in my brain and I let it grow. It
was before we met and…"

"I think I know where you're going with this and I hope you realize that it's not the

case. I have no desire to use you. I respect you far more than that and my feelings
for you are genuine."

"I know," she said happily.

- 97 -

I realized that Alice was still bouncing around the room. "Don't mind her, she gets

a little… excited."

I chuckled. Excited was an understatement. "I want some of what she's on," I said,

nodding my head towards Alice. Bella laughed.

"I'll have you know I'm not on anything. This is just the way I am. Like it or lump

it." Alice bounded up the stairs and we heard her sing-song voice saying, "Jazzy? Are
you awake yet? Bella and Edward love each other! Isn't that GREAT!"

Bella and I rolled our eyes, shook our heads, and laughed both at the same time. I

felt so free and so happy. I felt a weight lifted off me that had been there for so long.

Rosalie and Emmett were at the house before long and before I knew it, I was in

the midst of a Wii bowling tournament with Emmett and Jasper. I was so relaxed and
comfortable. They felt like the brothers I never had. Bella, Rosalie, and Alice fixed
an awesome lunch of homemade pasta noodles with a cold tomato and lemon sauce
along with some Italian sausage and Italian bread.

After lunch, I asked Bella if we could go to her room for a few minutes. When we

arrived there, she turned to me. "What's up?"

"I wanted to call Abby."

"Cool!"

I dialed my parents' number and waited. Carlisle answered the phone.

"Hey, Dad."

"Edward. I gather you're still in Seattle?"

I wondered why his voice sounded so stern as I answered, "Yeah, I'm here until

tomorrow. What's wrong?"

"Have you seen the Chicago Tribune this morning?"

I sighed and rolled my eyes. "No. Why?"

"Are you really shacked up with some 'mystery woman' in Seattle? You know that's

not going to help your custody battle, Edward. I warned you to be careful what you
were doing on this tour. I don't know what you were thinking."

- 98 -

"Dad, I'm not 'shacked up' with some 'mystery woman.' It's Bella. You've heard me

talk about her, I'm sure. Just chill. It's all speculation. Nobody knows what's going
on yet. How many times do I have to remind you not to believe everything you read
about me?"

"I just don't want you ruining your chances of keeping Abigail, Edward. You need

to proceed with caution."

"Thanks, Dad. Can I please talk to Abigail now?"

He didn't answer me but I heard the phone shuffling around. I smiled at Bella and

put the phone on speaker.

"Hellllooooo?" said Abigail's sweet voice on the other end of the line. Bella's smile

told the story. She was as hooked as I was.

"Hi, baby! What're you doin' today?"

"Playin'. Are you comin' home today?"

I chuckled. "No, baby, but you're comin' to see me tomorrow, okay? You and Mary

are gonna travel with me a while. How does that sound?"

"Yay! Mary, Mary, Daddy says we're gonna go with him!" I heard the phone drop

and the sounds of Abby's feet running away, her laughter was like a drug to me.

"Hi, Edward, it's Mary. Obviously, she's excited."

"I could tell! Did you get your itinerary yet?"

"Yes, I got it this morning via email from Rhianne. We're not flying commercial?"

"Not this time. I told Rhianne to have the private jet pick you up. I don't want any

reporters bothering either of you."

"Okay, sounds great."

"Have you heard from the attorney yet? Did Tanya sign the paper so I can take

Abby out of the country?" Abby had a passport as she had been out of the country
before, but I had to have a signed affidavit from Tanya giving me permission to take
her out of the country. It was required legally, but with Tanya's history, it was also a
good idea to have it so she couldn't accuse me of kidnapping my daughter.

- 99 -

"I haven't heard anything yet, but we have time don't we?"

"Yeah, there's time. I'm just afraid she's not gonna sign it and I'm gonna have to

come up with Plan B."

"Don't worry about it right now, Edward. How did meeting Bella go?"

Bella, who was still listening in on the speaker, blushed. "She's right here. It's

been great. Thanks for asking." I smiled at Bella and she smiled back although her
cheeks were still pink.

"Uh oh, here comes Miss Abigail again. I'll talk to you later, Edward."

"Daddy! I come to see you!" Abigail yelled before she was off and running again. I

loved hearing her so happy.

Esme came on the line and talked to me briefly before I hung up. I looked over to

Bella and said, "Well? What do you think of my baby-girl?"

"She sounds precious, Edward. I can't wait to meet her." My heart soared. Another

obstacle for me had melted away without my even trying.

We each showered, we took a nap, we had Chinese take-out for supper, we played

Wii with Bella's friends, and before I wanted it to be, the day was gone. After saying
goodnight to Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper, and Alice, Bella and I went into her bedroom.
We laid in the bed facing each other and talked. I hung on to her every word and she
seemed to hang on to mine. I still didn't know whether she would agree to go with
me, so I feared this would be the last time we would get to spend together for a long
while.

As we talked, I found that we were inching closer together by the minute. When

our noses were nearly touching, we both stopped talking and spent some time just
looking at each other. Taking in each other's features. Studying each other. As
though pulled together by an invisible force, our lips suddenly melted together in a
passionate kiss. It was like no other kiss I had ever felt. The feeling started at my
lips, swirled around my brain, electrified my body, and gave me a rush that I felt all
the way to my toes.

Our arms found their way around one another and I pulled her on top of me, never

taking my lips away from hers. Her body settled atop mine and her legs stretched to
lie between my legs. I was acutely aware of everywhere my body and hers touched.
Our kisses became urgent and full of longing and we both began to explore kissing

- 100 -

areas other than the other's lips. When my tongue found the hollow just behind
Bella's ear, her entire body thrust against mine and seemed to melt into me.

It was too fast. Too quick. I wanted her so badly and could tell that she wanted me

as well, but I was determined to do this right. I rested my hands on the small of her
back and kissed her nose as I pulled back. We were both panting. Her fingers in my
hair felt like Heaven.

"I'm sorry. I don't… no… it isn't that I don't, it's that I shouldn't…"

"Shhh, it's okay, Edward. I know. You're right. It's just hard…"

"Not to," I finished her sentence with a smile.

Bella smiled and kissed me lightly before we snuggled in together and slept. If

there was anything that I was certain of in that moment between sleep and
wakefulness, it was that the love of my life laid in my arms and I would do anything
to keep it that way. She was everything I had ever wanted and more. Every breath
she took was my reason for existing.

END NOTE: OK, I know, EC hasn't made it to Portland yet, but he will, next

chapter. After Portland is San Francisco so all you California fans get ready!
Remember, reviews are LOVE and VIP Passes!

- 101 -

Mockingbird

A/N Thanks so much for all the wonderful reviews, PMs, favorite adds,

alerts... Everyone is AWESOME! I'm slow about responding, but I'm getting
there. :)

Lillie Cullen rocks my sox and is the best beta and friend a girl could ever

ask for!

Please visit the Secret Twilight Garden Blog for awesome story recs and

fanfic informational articles, playlists, and fun. The link is on my profile.

Theme song for the chapter is Mockingbird by Eminem.

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. I don't own Eminem. Any questions?

Bella

I was lost in a wonderful dream about Edward when my phone rang early that

Sunday morning. When I awoke, I was disoriented. First of all, I was fully dressed in
my sweats and tank top, which I didn't normally wear to bed. Secondly, there was
someone else in bed with me, which hadn't happened in a long time. Thirdly, I was
terrified that the night before had all been a dream.

I snatched the phone up and answered it without thinking. My stomach hit my

throat as soon as I heard the voice on the other end.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing, Bella?"

"How did you get this number?"

"How I got the number is not nearly as important as how you think I would let this

new romance of yours go by unnoticed."

"That's none of your business!"

I vaguely heard Edward's voice telling me to hang up on them. He thought it was

the press. Little did he know at that point who it was. In the meantime, Mike was
still busy yelling at me.

- 102 -

"You know, Bella, we were just taking some time off from each other, and now I

find out you're cheating on me with that fucking rap star? And I have to read it in
the God damn newspaper? He probably gave you a STD, Bella! You realize that,
don't you? All those mother-fuckers have Chlamydia!"

"I really don't give a fuck what you think, Mike. You're supposed to be leaving me

the hell alone, remember?" I heard Edward's feet hit the floor and run out of the
room. Where is he going? Oh my God, Mike's stupid ass has scared him away!

"Bella, I never told you we were over. I never ended it. You really need to rethink

this and get your ass back home."

"I'm never coming back to you! I don't care if you ended it or not… I DID!"

"You can't end it, Bella. You don't have my permission to end it. You know the

deal, baby. If I can't have you…"

"STOP! I don't know who you think you are, but I don't love you anymore. In fact,

I'm not sure that I ever did. I'm SO over you, Mike. Why don't you just hop back in
the sack with Jessica and have a nice life. I don't love you, I don't want you… in
fact… I don't even want you in my UNIVERSE so STAY THE FUCK OUT!"

"You don't know what you're saying. Did he drug you? Is he there right now? Let

me talk to him."

"No."

"Bella…"

"No, Mike. You don't control me anymore." I was listening to him spout another

string of profanities about how I belonged to him and he'd never allow me to run off
with that 'rapper' and I don't know what else when I looked up at Jasper standing in
front of me with his hand out. I handed him the phone and buried my face in my
pillow. What am I going to do if this was enough to make Edward not want to be
with me? I can't breathe without him…

Jasper's voice was calm yet firm when he put the phone to his ear. "Mike, this is

Jasper. Do you remember the last conversation I had with you?... That's right, Mike.
I did tell you that I had friends who could visit you and that you'd never be heard
from again. Do you think that anything's changed? Do you honestly believe that I'm
going to continue to allow you to upset Bella like this? She's worked hard over the
last few months to get over you. She's had to do a lot of self-esteem building to be

- 103 -

able to look herself in the eye every day in the mirror. I only hope, for your sake,
that your little stunt this morning hasn't undone all of her hard work. You'd do
yourself well to just disappear, Mike. Maybe you should move to south Florida or
something. Somewhere far away... You're talking again. Don't you ever learn? I'm
not playing games with you. If you call her again, try to see her again, appear in her
life in any capacity again, you're not going to like the outcome. I promise that you'll
regret it. Now, be a good boy and hang up, forget this number, and never contact
her again."

My eyes were wide when Jasper handed the phone back to me. He pulled me off

the bed and hugged me, whispering, "Bella, your friends all love you, okay?
Nothing's going to happen to you and Mike's not going to be bothering you anymore.
If he does, I expect to hear about it immediately."

I didn't know what to say so I just nodded into Jasper's shoulder and whispered,

"Thank you." I really had no clue what Jasper had been talking about on the phone,
but I wasn't sure I was supposed to know. Rosalie had always suspected that Jasper
was somehow 'connected' but it wasn't something that we discussed with Alice. She
loved Jasper and didn't care so we had decided long before that it was none of our
business. Jasper released me from his hug and headed down the hall towards his
bedroom, closing the door quietly behind him. I marveled at him. He and Alice were
such polar opposites. It was truly amazing.

I collapsed on the side of the bed in tears. How the hell Mike had gotten my

number was a mystery, but the fact that he'd called and tried to ruin my time with
Edward made me so angry. I heard Edward running back up the stairs and heard
him talking to Rhianne on the phone. I looked up and noticed he was holding the
newspaper with shaking hands. There was a large photograph of Edward and me
climbing into the limo the night before on the Entertainment page. Edward sat down
next to me so I did the first thing that came into my mind. I threw my arms around
him. I wanted to hold him close to me forever. I was so relieved that he was still
there and I never wanted to let him go. He dropped the newspaper and ended his
conversation with Rhianne. I pushed my head into his chest and held him as tightly
as I could. When his arms encircled me, I felt my body relax into his touch.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I shouldn't have…" One thing I didn't want was Edward feeling

as though he needed to apologize to me. I knew that his life was a public one. I
didn't care. I loved him.

"I don't care about the picture in the paper. Please don't apologize. The last 24

hours have been the best in my life. I don't want it to end."

- 104 -

He held me away from him and used his finger to tip my tear-streaked face up to

look at him. It was a gesture that I would grow to love more and more over the
years. His eyes held a strange light and then he suddenly blurted out, "It doesn't
have to end. Come with me."

The light in his eyes changed as soon as he said it and I got the impression that he

regretted saying it. I was confused. My mind was reeling and I wasn't really sure
what he was asking me. It must have shown on my face when I asked, "Where?"

He started to speak, but hesitated slightly. "On the tour. Come with me. I can…

You don't have to, Bella. Please understand. I just… I'd like to have you near me.
Every time I think about the next few months of being on tour and only being able to
email you or talk to you on the phone, a hole opens up in my chest and threatens to
swallow me. I can't explain it. I'm not sure I want to. All I know is that my desire to
have you with me overrides all rational thought that I have and… I know it sounds
crazy."

I stuttered when I responded to him. He thought he sounded crazy. I thought he

sounded like an angel sent from Heaven to rescue me from myself. I was still in a
state of utter disbelief that the whole thing was happening. "You… you want me to
go with you on tour?"

My mind continued to reel with the possibilities. I wasn't really sure that he meant

it. I mean, I knew he meant it, but was he just saying it because I was upset? Could I
even hope that he loved me as desperately as I loved him? Was there a remote
chance that he felt the same pull towards me that I felt towards him? It was
unexplainable. It was as though he was a part of me that had been missing forever. I
felt complete with him next to me. Just having him in the next room made me feel
empty and alone. All of my delusions about EC Velvet were gone in the moment that
I met him. He was Edward. He was the beautiful, wonderful man that I had been
corresponding with for weeks on end. He was insecure, unselfish, sweet, funny,
talented, and beautiful. And I wanted to be with him, at any cost, forever.

The rest of that Sunday passed far too quickly for my taste. It was a wonderful day

and we had a great time just hanging out together. The best moment of the day was
when we both admitted that we were in love with each other. My heart soared when
I realized that he really did feel the same way about me as I did about him. I still
didn't think it was possible, but I felt fulfilled just the same. Alice was hysterical
when she bounced up to her bedroom to announce to Jasper that "Bella and Edward
love each other! Isn't that GREAT!" I could have died.

Edward blended in with my friends so well. Jasper, Emmett, and he seemed like

- 105 -

they were not only friends, but brothers. They all hit it off famously and I was so
thrilled. I just kept waiting for the other shoe to drop. Nothing in my life had ever
been as perfect as it was with Edward around.

After lunch, Edward had taken me up to my room so he could call Abby. One of

the most wonderful things about Edward was the way his demeanor changed when
he talked to his little girl. It only served to make me love him more. I never even
thought about how difficult it might be to step in and help someone raise their child.
All I knew was that I wanted to see Edward like that every day. It was obvious that
Abby was the apple of his eye and I longed to meet her and see him with her.

That night, we had snuggled into bed together and talked. The sexual tension in

the air had been obvious. We both wanted each other. Badly. Fortunately, we both
had enough desire to do the relationship right that we waited. His kisses were
scintillating and I could feel them all the way to my toes. My body burned with
desire for him and my heart burned with love for him. Everything just felt so perfect
with us together in each other's arms.

Monday morning came way too soon. I knew that he would have to leave for

Portland and I would have to make a decision about whether to go with him or not.
He hadn't brought it up again and I didn't know if I should. I wanted to go, so much.
I couldn't bear the thought of him being away from me for months, but I also
couldn't see myself just leaving everything I had ever known behind to walk out into
the unknown and risk being hurt. It was just so unlike me.

We awoke early and he got in the shower while I rushed downstairs to fix him

some breakfast. I giggled when he arrived in the kitchen smelling, once again, like
my strawberry shampoo.

"I'm sorry, Edward. I intended to go get some of Jasper's shampoo so you wouldn't

have to smell like a strawberry field."

He grinned at me with a crooked grin that melted my heart. "I have my own, Bella.

I just like smelling like you."

I laughed. Aloud. For a long time. "What will the other guys say?"

He shrugged and laughed with me. "Probably that I'm toast."

We ate breakfast in companionable silence, but the pink elephant in the corner

was staring at both of us. There was tension in the air about Edward's eminent
departure. Alice and Jasper had both left early so we were alone at the house. When

- 106 -

breakfast was finished, he helped me clean up and once the dishes were all in the
dishwasher, he grabbed me around the waist and spun me around to kiss me. His
kiss was soft and sweet and while he nibbled on my lower lip, the tears started to
fall.

"No, no, no, Bella. Please don't cry."

"I'm sorry. I just…"

"I know, me either. Please consider coming with me? Even just for a short trip.

Even just to Portland tonight. Bella, please?"

His green eyes were pleading with me. I wasn't sure what to say. How could I say

no? How could I say yes? How could I not say yes?

"To Portland and then we'll see what happens after that, okay?"

He hugged me so tightly that he picked me up off the ground. "Absolutely, Bella.

We'll play it by ear, right?"

"Right."

I called Alice to tell her where I was going and she was not at all surprised.

Sometimes it was as if she could see the future or something. She just always
seemed to know what was best. I packed a bag, not too much. Edward was busy
making phone calls while I showered and got ready to go. When I appeared in jeans
and a blue and white blouse, Edward swept me up and kissed my forehead. "You
look perfect, babe."

He didn't have a car there and I wasn't sure what the plan was to get to Portland.

I was slightly embarrassed to take him in my beat up Toyota, but I offered.

"I have a better idea," he said with a grin. We left in the Toyota and went to Rose's

dealership. I wasn't sure what he had in mind, but when he walked out with the title
to a brand new F430 Spider in metallic Blu Abu Dabbi with a charcoal interior, I
kind of freaked out.

"Edward? Ummmm…"

"First rule of Edward Cullen. I collect cars. Second rule of Edward Cullen. Don't

argue with me when I spend money on you. Third rule of Edward Cullen. Get in, put
your seatbelt on, and hold on to your ass."

- 107 -

I stared at him in confusion for a split second before I climbed into the car. What

does he mean about spending money on me? I wondered as I fastened my seatbelt.

Rose watched as we tore out of the parking lot with a smirk on her face. I was

terrified. "How fast does this thing go?"

"Wanna see?"

"NO!"

He laughed and went faster. I don't know how he didn't get a ticket driving from

Seattle to Portland, but he managed to make it without. Once I realized that his
driving skills were better than average, I relaxed, but only slightly. He made the two
hour and fifty minute trip in about two hours. I managed to not look at the
speedometer. Instead, I watched the muscles in his arm ripple when he shifted. I
watched the contours of his body as he alternately relaxed and tensed in response to
the traffic. I watched the set of his jaw change each time he glanced at me and
smiled.

We pulled in to The Amphitheater at Clark County in Ridgefield by two in the

afternoon. The tour bus was parked there and Rhianne walked out of it to meet us as
we drove up.

"Nothing like showing off, is there, Edward?" she said with a chuckle.

"It's for Bella," he said, climbing out of the car.

I stared at him. Is that what he meant when he said not to argue with him when he

spent money on me? "I don't… I can't… it's not for me, Rhianne. I could never handle
a…"

Edward glanced at me and cut me off by saying, "Don't you remember Rule

Number Two, Bella?"

I shook my head and laughed. I knew I wasn't going to win that one. I decided to

negotiate that later. I figured it would be easier to convince him later on that I
wouldn't be able to handle that car. Besides, I didn't need a car. I had my Toyota…
didn't I? I remember the smirk on Rosalie's face when we had driven away in the car
and pulled my phone out of my pocket. I had a new text message from Rose. It read:
Enjoy your new car, Bella. See you when you get home.

Edward chuckled in my ear and kissed my neck as he put his arm around me and

- 108 -

led me into the tour bus. From the outside, it looked like just about any other bus.
On the inside, however, it was a different story. I was in shock as we stepped up into
the bus and it was like walking into a luxury apartment. There were large flat screen
televisions, big leather couches, a galley, two bathrooms, complete with showers,
nine bunks with curtains that closed for privacy, and in the back was Edward's
room. His room had a queen size bed, a closet, a big flat screen television, DVD
player, his own satellite television control and a private shower and toilet area. The
whole thing was decorated beautifully and I was completely amazed. Edward took
my small bag and placed it on what looked like a dresser built into the wall of the
bus.

"What do you think of my home away from home, Bella?"

"It's great. I never dreamed they even built such things!"

The most amazing part of it was, there wasn't just one bus, there were two.

Edward explained to me how they split the busses up so that everyone would have a
little more room. Since he was the star, he got the biggest bus with the most
amenities. They had all voted and allowed Rhianne to have to bedroom in the other
bus because she worked so hard to keep them all in line. The rest of the guys and
the bodyguards took the other bunks and there was room in Edward's bus for Mary
and Abby to each have a bunk right outside his bedroom. He said that he thought he
might just let them have his room though, depending on what happened.

After our tour of the bus, Rhianne stepped in to let us know that we were going to

be having company in about twenty minutes. Edward's eyes lit up and I knew that
meant it was almost time for Abby to arrive. I was excited, yet afraid to meet her.
What would she think of seeing her daddy with someone other than her mom? It
must have shown on my face because Edward took my hand and said reassuringly,
"Don't worry, Bella. She'll love you. She's four. It's really not going to freak her out
very much and she's heard me talk about you."

It wasn't much longer before the limo pulled up next to the bus. Edward and I

stood, hand in hand, waiting for it to stop. As soon as it did, the back door opened
and the most beautiful little girl piled out of the back. She had long curly hair that
was lighter than Edward's bronze, but not quite blonde. Her eyes were the same
shade of green as Edward's and her little lips were obviously her daddy's.

"DADDY!" she screamed as she ran to him with her arms out. I released Edward's

hand just in time for him to catch her, pick her up, and swing her around. Both of
their laughter rang through the air and I couldn't help but laugh too.

- 109 -

A lovely middle-aged woman with short dark hair climbed out and walked over to

me with a pleasant smile on her face. "Hi! I'm Mary, the nanny. You must be Bella,"
she said, putting her hand out to shake mine.

"Um, yeah. I'm Bella. Nice to meet you."

"You, too. She kinda likes her dad, don't you think?"

We looked over at Abby and Edward who seemed to be in their own little world

speaking their own little language. Finally, Edward turned to me with Abby in his
arms and said, "Abby, there's somebody I want you to meet."

Abby pointed at me and looked up at her daddy. "Is that Bella, Daddy?"

Edward nodded and smiled. "Yes, baby, that's Bella."

Abby immediately started fighting Edward's arms. "Put me down, Daddy!"

Edward put her down and looked at me with a grin as Abby ran over to me. She

put her arms out for a hug and I reached out to hug her back. She jumped into my
arms, surprising me. I caught her and her little arms encircled my neck, squeezing
tightly. "I like you. You're pretty."

She was about the most beautiful child with the most beautiful personality of

anyone I had ever met. I squeezed her too and whispered, "I'm not as pretty as you,
Abby. You're beautiful."

She giggled and leaned back to look at me. She put her hand on my cheek and her

little face took on a very serious look. Her eyes bore into mine for a brief moment
and then she said, "I'm glad my daddy loves you, Bella." And just like that, we were a
family. She struggled and I put her down. She ran to the car to get something out
and Edward pulled me into his arms and kissed me.

"I told you she'd like you," he whispered.

From that second on for the rest of the day, things were never awkward or out of

place. Edward, Abby, and I spent the rest of the afternoon together. We played
games, we took a walk, we had supper, and we watched "Dora the Explorer"
together. One thing that struck me about Abby was that she was incredibly
intelligent for her age and she seemed to be quite well adjusted emotionally for all
the garbage she had been through with her mother. The only down part of the day
was when her mother called Edward. Abby, Edward, and I had been laying on his

- 110 -

bed watching Dora when she called his cell phone. He got up and stepped out of the
room, but I could still hear him when his voice rose. I turned up the television a little
bit so that I could try to keep Abby from hearing, but fortunately, Edward went
outside.

"Do you like Dora?" Abby asked, not taking her eyes off the big television screen.

"Yes, I like Dora. My friend Emmett likes to watch Dora sometimes so he can learn

some Spanish words."

She looked over at me questioningly and said, "Who's Emmett?"

I pondered how much to tell her and decided not to hold back. "Emmett is my very

good friend who is the boyfriend of my best friend Rosalie. They live next door to my
other friends Alice and Jasper who I stay with."

"Oh!" she exclaimed happily, and went back to watching the show. Apparently that

was all she needed to know.

Shortly thereafter, Edward opened the door and wiggled his finger at me. I

glanced at Abby and got up.

"Abby, Mary will be in shortly, okay? Daddy's going to have to go work soon."

"Alright, Daddy, love you!" she sang.

"I love you, too, baby. You'll be asleep when I get done so I'll see you tomorrow,

okay?"

"Okay, Daddy! Bye, Bella!"

"Bye, Abby!"

I started out the door when I felt her little hand tugging at the hem of my blouse. I

looked down and she had that serious look again. "Will you be here tomorrow,
Bella?"

I glanced at Edward in a panic and he answered for me. "We don't know yet, Abby,

but if not, we'll see her again soon, okay?"

"Okay!" she said, and threw her arms around my thighs. I giggled and picked her

up to hug her properly. "I hope you stay," she said solemnly.

- 111 -

"We'll see, okay? I might have to take care of some things at home, but if I do, I'll

see you soon."

It was bad enough to think about having to leave Edward for any amount of time,

but then I had to face leaving Abby too. I tried to put it out of my mind as we passed
by Mary on our way out of the bus. I knew that Abby would be well taken care of,
but I felt very protective of her. She was so beautiful and so innocent that I didn't
want her to ever have to witness anything bad again.

Once Edward and I were alone he said, "I'm sorry about that. I don't want you to

stay with me because you feel guilty about my daughter asking you to. I want you to
stay with me and go on tour with me because you want to, Bella."

"I want to, Edward. I do. It's just… there are some things I feel like I need to take

care of at home first. I'll have to either take a leave of absence or quit the university,
I need to put my things in storage, there's Alice's wedding…"

"Bella… It's possible to do all those things from the road and I would never keep

you from Alice's wedding. Please consider just staying with me? You won't need
anything. Whatever clothes you need, I'll buy. I'll put the Ferrari in a trailer and
we'll take it with us, or I'll send it back to your house. I just really… need… you with
me… I think."

Edward and I stood there in the parking lot staring at each other for the longest

time. I knew that I wanted to stay with him. I just didn't know if it was the right
thing to do or not. Finally, I just blurted it out.

"I'd love to go with you, Edward. At least for now. Besides, I'm not letting freaking

Emmett teach me to drive the Ferrari." I felt like a weight lifted off me when I finally
agreed to stay with him. I knew it was what I wanted to do, but I hadn't been sure
that I should say yes. Once I said it, I knew it was right. I was both thrilled and
terrified as I didn't know what to expect while on the road with Edward, but I also
knew that everything would be fine as long as he was with me and I was with him. I
could also see that Edward was relieved. He obviously had been very worried that I
wouldn't want to go with him. He was so adorable when he was being insecure. We
joined hands and headed in to find his dressing room together and I knew that it
would be the first of many nights we would take that journey together before a
show. I was happier in that moment than I ever thought I could be.

End Note: Obviously, we are at The Amphitheater in Clark County north of

Portland. Yes, there ARE VIP passes for this show. YES, we are headed to
California next. Sacramento, San Francisco, LA, and San Diego. :) REVIEWS

- 112 -

= LOVE and VIP Passes! Come on down and get yours!!! Lillie? You got the
Scoobymobile gassed up for our California trip BB?

- 113 -

Fuse

A/N This chapter goes out to all of you who thought I had died or

something... I assure you, I didn't. There's a special treat in it just for being
so patient with me while I've plodded my way through the last few weeks.
Thanks for all the PMs and emails checking on me to make sure I was okay.
My fans are the best!

Lillie ~ More than words ~ You don't have to say that you love me, because

I already know. And by the way, I love you, too. Thanks for being there.

Amy ~ Nobody channels the bitch like you do, darlin'. Thanks for

everything.

SM ~ Thanks for writing Twilight so that I could take your wonderful

characters and play with them in my own little Alternate Universe. Don't
own anything Twilight or Aerosmith, although I wish I owned Edward and
Steven Tyler... *sigh*

I know what nobody knows

Where it comes and where it goes

I know it's everybody's sin

You got to lose to know how to win

Sing with me

Sing for the years

Sing for the laughter

Sing for the tears

Sing with me, if it's just for today

Maybe tomorrow the good Lord will take you away...

Edward

- 114 -

Laying on the bed with Abby and Bella watching Dora felt like the most natural

thing in the world to me. I hadn't been that relaxed in so long that I didn't remember
what it felt like. I was so excited that the two of them had hit it off that I could
hardly contain it. I found myself looking at Bella more than I was looking at the TV
and marveling at just how perfect she was. Furthermore, being with her as a couple
felt so right, more so than anything ever had for me. She was the perfect addition to
my little family that consisted of Abby and me. She made it all seem complete. I even
went so far as to make a mental note to give Rhianne a raise for giving me Bella's
letter. Had it not been for Rhianne, we never would have met.

I had been expecting a call from Tanya since Sunday morning. I didn't want it to

come, but I knew it would. I was sure she had seen the picture in Sunday's paper
and it would only be a matter of time before she let her vile, jealous self rear up and
give me a hard time. It was a part of the reason that I hadn't dated since our
divorce, other than the fact that I hadn't met anyone worth my time until Bella. I got
up and headed for the door immediately when the call came in. I felt sure it was
going to be ugly and Abby didn't need to hear it. I was right.

"Where the hell is my daughter?" is what greeted me when I answered the phone.

"It's not your day to see her, Tanya, what difference does it make?"

"I have a right to know where she is!"

"Actually, no. You don't." I briefly wondered if I should just hang up on her or

continue to be drawn into her crap. I decided my best course of action was to try to
finish the conversation as amicably as I could so that she wouldn't call me a hundred
times.

"I sure as hell do!"

"Did you have an actual purpose for calling me other than to demand to know

where our daughter, whom you no longer have custody of, is?"

"Just because you temporarily have custody doesn't mean that I don't have the

right to know where she is, dickhead!"

"I would appreciate it if you would lay off the name-calling, Tanya." I was trying to

hold my temper, but it was waning fast. I pinched the bridge of my nose as I stepped
outside of the tour bus to make sure that Abby didn't hear me yelling if it came to
that. My show was approaching and I was mentally psyching myself to be ready for
it and already I could tell that the part of me where EC Velvet resided was getting

- 115 -

really pissed off.

"Are you going to tell me where she is, or not?"

"She's with me."

"WHAT?! You've got to be fucking shitting me! You've got her on TOUR with you?

What kind of fucked up bullshit is that?!"

"Tanya, calm down or I'm ending this conversation and changing my phone

number. She's with me and Mary is, too. She's fine."

"Mary? What the fuck, Edward? You can't even take care of her yourself? You

have to have a fucking nanny for her? How the fuck did you get Mary back? She
quit!"

"She quit working for you when you neglected to pay her. I don't know where the

hell all the thousands of dollars of child support I was paying you every month was
going, but it wasn't to take care of Abby or pay Mary like it was supposed to. I can
only guess that it was going up your nose."

"Fuck you."

I chuckled.

"That's mature, Tanya. Real mature."

"What I do is none of your fucking business!"

"Nope, it's not, and I don't care anymore either. Do what you want, as long as it

doesn't impact Abby. All I know is that I won't be financing it anymore, or did you
miss the part of the hearing where I don't have to pay you child support or alimony
anymore?"

"So?"

"Just making sure you weren't calling to dog me about where your precious check

was."

"When am I going to see Abigail?"

I rolled my eyes. When would this woman figure out that things had changed and

- 116 -

she wasn't getting her way about everything anymore?

"Tanya, you have scheduled supervised visits and the first one is two weeks away.

She'll be there, okay? Is there anything else?"

"She's not with your fucking mystery woman is she?"

Well, now there's the crux of it. Now we're getting down to business.

"None of your business."

"Who is she, Edward? The flavor-of-the-month groupie that you're currently

banging?"

"No. She's not a groupie. She's a friend."

"Are you fucking her?"

"What do you care?"

"I don't want you doing that kind of shit in front of my daughter. It'll confuse her."

I closed my eyes and shook my head, letting out a long breath. And your rotating

door of one night stands and fucking drug dealers to pay for drugs doesn't confuse
her, bitch?

I sat down in a chair under the awning of the bus to contemplate how much to tell

Tanya and how much to keep to myself. I didn't want to give her any ammunition,
but I knew full well that Abby would be talking about Bella next time she talked to or
saw her mother. I wouldn't ask Abby to keep secrets. Her mother had done enough
of that.

"Well? Are you fucking her or not? Who the hell is she?"

"I told you. She's a friend. Abby has met her, yes. No, we're not having sex. We're

friends. Period. End of story." I waited for Tanya to go ballistic, and wasn't
disappointed when she started screaming a string of profanities at me. Interestingly
enough, I really didn't even listen. I was more absorbed in the fact that I had spoken
of Bella and sex in the same sentence. My mind was lost to fantasies of doing just
that… having sex with Bella. No. Making love to Bella. No. Being with Bella forever.
Taking Bella in my arms. Kissing her tenderly. Undressing her and laying her on my
bed. Worshipping her body the way she deserved to be worshipped.

- 117 -

"Are you listening to me, Edward? What the fuck?!"

"I'm sorry, wh- what?"

"Are you high? What the hell?"

"Uh, no, Tanya. I'm not high. That's your specialty. I just got distracted for a

minute. Are you about finished? I have to go get ready for work."

"Work? HA! What a fuckin' joke!"

I didn't respond. Obviously, I was finished listening to her. Why wouldn't she just

go away? Forever.

"Fine." I didn't even hear the click on the line when she hung up. I simply

pocketed my phone and went inside to get Bella. It really was time for me to start
getting ready and I didn't want Abby around when I did. EC Velvet was not someone
I had introduced my little girl to, nor would I for quite some time.

Once Bella was with me and we had determined, to my utter joy, that she was

going to stay with me, I took her hand and we went to find my dressing room. The
crowds were already gathering outside and I was thankful for the increased security
I had hired now that Abby would be with me. We found my dressing room and I
grabbed a beer and poured Bella a glass of wine. I changed my clothes and sent a
text to my lawyer to beware of nasty phone calls from my ex wife the next day. After
a moment's thought, I texted Seth and asked him to keep an eye on her if he had
time. I didn't need her showing up unannounced and harassing Mary or Bella, or
worse, trying to take Abby.

Bella seemed to be having the time of her life watching all the goings on

backstage. She went with Rhianne to monitor the soundcheck and was amazed by
being able to go out on the stage without anyone in the amphitheater. Rhianne had
already taken care of getting identification for Bella so that none of the security
people questioned her. With her identification hanging around her neck, Bella was
free to go anywhere she wanted to while she was with me. She seemed to try to stay
away from the dressing room quite a bit and I wondered if she thought she was
bothering me. I found that I missed her being with me every second that she wasn't
there. I even had trouble concentrating while I was preparing. What was it about
that woman that had me so bumfuzzled that I couldn't think without her standing in
my presence? I tried multiple times to shake the feeling that when she was away
from me, I wasn't quite complete, but it wouldn't go away. Every time she walked in
the dressing room, smiling the most beautiful smile in the universe, it felt as though

- 118 -

my soul suddenly became whole again.

It was with that feeling that I went on stage that night. Every time I looked to the

edge of the stage and saw Bella standing there, my heart felt full, my soul felt
complete, and somehow I knew that I wouldn't be able to live without her.
Somehow, through a few letters, a couple phone calls, and the brief amount of time
that we had been together, my whole world had come to revolve around her and
Abby. I even found myself distracted on stage a couple of times as I thought about
the implications of that. Apparently, the crowd didn't notice that I was distracted. It
was one of my best shows ever and the response from the crowd was amazing. When
it was time for me to go off stage and change for the encore, all I could think about
was getting Bella in my arms and kissing her as though my life depended on it.

She was right there when I came off the stage with that crazy wonderful smile of

hers. She giggled when I grabbed her hand and ran, leading her to the dressing
room. She didn't protest when I slammed the dressing room door, locked it, and
pushed her up against it to kiss her. Her body melted into mine when I slid her
hands up over her head and held them there with mine while I kissed her and
ground my arousal against her stomach. In fact, she wrapped her leg around mine
and ground herself back against me.

Fuck yeah!

We were making out like crazy against that door until I had lost all sense of space

and time. When Rhianne pounded on the door and said, "Edward! Time to go," I was
shocked back into reality and looked down to find that Bella and I both had our
hands up each other's shirts and left alone much longer, some shit would have gone
down that I was afraid she might have regretted in the morning. I knew I wouldn't
regret it. Ever. I was already so comfortable and so in love with Bella that it seemed
like a logical next step. The chemistry between us left an electricity hanging in the
air around us, not to mention in my body. I kissed her mouth tenderly one last time.

"Gotta go, babe."

"I know." She still seemed to be trying to catch her breath and for the first time in

the middle of a concert, I felt nothing like Velvet. I was all Edward. Every part of me
was in sync. All of my personality had woven together and the only thing that any
part of me felt was love. It was as though Bella's presence alone was enough to fix
what was broken inside of me and make me a whole man again. It frightened and
exhilarated me all at the same time. I couldn't really remember how to function as a
whole person because it had been so long.

- 119 -

"Bella, I love you. You know that, right?"

She rewarded me with a smile. "I love you, too. Now get back to work before they

start rioting out there."

Bella was right behind me as I ran back to the stage and her presence brought a

peace to my soul. I realized that the feeling I had when she was near me was not
something I should question, but embrace. My feet hit the stage feeling like they
were on air. I killed the crowd with my encore and ran full speed once more back to
the dressing room with Bella's hand in mine. We burst through the door together
and I grabbed her to me to kiss her. She wrapped her legs around my waist and we
held each other tightly talking, laughing, kissing, and just being. The guys showed
up in the dressing room shortly after we did and were really pumped. I put Bella
down just in time.

Chris came over and high-fived me before planting a big kiss on Bella's cheek. She

giggled and blushed about fifteen shades of red. It was positively adorable. We were
all enjoying the high we had from the performance and were talking and laughing
together.

Bella and I were sharing a glass of vodka when a knock came at the door from

security. "Excuse me, Mr. Velvet?" I chuckled.

My bodyguard opened the door to two bouncers and about thirty women with VIP

passes. A few of them I recognized as regulars, who called themselves 'Velvet's
Vixens,' and I groaned. Bella looked confused as she looked from the girls outside
the door back to me.

The bodyguard turned to me and I nodded, the sign to let him know that it was

okay to let them in. I decided that Bella was going to have to get used to it sometime
if she was going to be with me on this tour. I looked at Bella who still wore a look of
confusion.

"They're VIPs, baby. They have backstage passes which gives them the right to

come backstage after the show. It's all part of the game. Don't worry, I only have
eyes for you and rarely, if ever, socialize much with them. But, be forewarned, some
of them are regulars and they're going to question your presence. This is your last
chance to bail because by tomorrow, the whole world is going to know that EC
Velvet is dating Bella Swan."

She wore a half-smile as she looked at the women crowding into the room,

accompanied by one male fan who looked like he felt very out of place. She looked

- 120 -

back at me and said, "It doesn't matter, Edward. I know you'll protect me from
anything that I shouldn't or don't want to see, and beyond that, nothing else in this
world matters right now except me with you."

I'm pretty sure that my heart started doing flip-flops in my chest. Hell, it may have

jumped right out my throat and done cartwheels all around the room. I know it did
something, I just wasn't sure what.

Bella and I were gazing at each other just drinking in the moment when one of the

Vixens plopped herself down on Brad's lap right next to us, pointed at Bella, and
said, "So, who's she?"

I sighed loudly and turned to her. Raising an eyebrow I said, "Hi, Amy. How are

you?"

"I'd be better if I knew why none of us could get VIPs in Seattle!"

I looked at Bella and winked, then looked back at Amy. "Amy, this is Bella, my

girlfriend. Bella, this is Amy, one of Velvet's Vixens, as they call themselves."

Bella stuck her hand out to Amy while pulling me closer to her with her other arm.

"Hi, Amy. Nice to meet you."

Amy's eyebrow shot up and she tentatively put her hand out to shake Bella's hand.

"Hi, Bella. Where'd you meet Velvet?"

"It's a long story, Amy. One that I don't really feel like telling right now."

I let out a breath that I didn't realize I had been holding. I didn't realize that I had

been nervous about how Bella would handle the questions, but in that moment, I
realized that I had been nervous and that I had no reason to be nervous about it at
the same time. She would do just fine.

Bella was sitting on my lap and scooted closer to me, nuzzling her head into my

shoulder as we sat there quietly watching the goings on in the room. Several of the
Vixens came over and said hello to Bella and me. They were all very nice and Amy
was the only one to question Bella. Lil, the one who had been with them the longest,
and was truly a good friend to all of us, sat down and talked to us for several
minutes as though she had known Bella forever. She asked Bella's name, but that
was all. She didn't pry. I was appreciative of her kindness.

Once things started to wind down, I could see that Bella was getting tired. She

- 121 -

had tried to stifle a couple of yawns, but I knew she was worn out. I said my
goodbyes to all the ladies and the rest of the guys and lead Bella out so I could get
her to bed. She was still talking animatedly about the show and everything that went
on and I realized that she was a little bit drunk. I chuckled while she talked away.

"Whatcha laughin' at, Edward?"

"You, silly Bella."

She stumbled and I caught her before she fell, pulling her up in my arms. Two of

my bodyguards were with us and they both rushed to help with her. She was
giggling and hearing her giggle made me laugh. I picked her up with one arm
around her upper back, her legs over my other arm, and carried her the rest of the
way to the bus.

Rhianne met us just before we entered and told me that she had put Abby and

Mary in her room on the other bus and she was taking one of the bunks. We were to
be traveling to San Francisco that night so she wanted to make sure that Abby got
plenty of rest. Apparently, the rest of the guys were staying in her bus, too, and she
had made arrangements for a smaller third bus to meet us in San Francisco. I put
Bella down and she stepped onto the bus while I stayed outside to talk to Rhianne.

"I'm not sleeping with her in the sense that you're thinking, Rhianne."

"I understand that, Edward, but you still need some privacy. She's not used to all

this and she's going to need a place where she can get away. Abby and Mary will be
fine in the other bus for a few days until Bella gets used to it and if you should
decide to become intimate, at least you'll be alone."

I looked at her intensely for a few moments. Become intimate. With Bella. I didn't

know if we were ready for that. I wanted it, but I didn't know if the time was right
yet. I had never been so unsure of myself when it came to a woman and sex before
in my life. Usually it was a no-brainer and although Bella aroused me incredibly,
there was something special about the connection we shared that made me think
that I needed to hold off even though I wanted her worse than I had ever wanted a
woman before.

Finally, I responded to Rhianne. "Um, thank you, Rhianne. Have I told you lately

that you're the best?"

She smiled and patted me on the back before walking away. "Great show tonight,

Edward. You seem to have a new spring in your step."

- 122 -

I entered the bus and headed for the bedroom in the back. I could hear Rhianne

outside directing the bodyguards to remain outside the bus until the driver was
safely aboard and then they could get on the other bus. I smirked. Rhianne seemed
to be doing everything she could to afford privacy for Bella and me. It was a kind
gesture, but one that was a bit too soon I feared.

When I walked into the bedroom, Bella wasn't there, but the bathroom door was

closed and the shower was running. I sat down on the bed and stared at the
bathroom door.

Bella's naked. Six feet from me.

I laid back on the bed to wait for her and was considering how gentlemanly I was

being when the door to the bathroom opened. I turned my head to look and Bella
stood there gloriously naked, bathed in the light from the bathroom. It was dark in
the bedroom and her form silhouetted in the bathroom door took my breath away.

"Edward," she whispered, "I want you. I can't wait any longer."

I reached my arms out to her and she stepped over to the bed. She crawled up on

top of me and planted her lips on mine in a kiss that portrayed all of her need. I put
my arms around her and rolled us over so that I was atop of her.

"Are you sure, Bella?"

She nodded, her eyes shining brightly in the moonlight that streamed in through

the blinds on the windows.

Her hands wandered down to the hem of my t-shirt and pulled on it. I helped her

out by pulling it over my head and tossing it on the floor. I leaned down to kiss her
again and my breath caught at the feeling of her breasts pressed against my chest. I
let my hands wander over her body and feel the softness of her skin, the swell of her
bosom, the pebbling of her nipples as my hands slid across them. The sounds she
made as I touched her skin enthralled me and pushed me to want more, need more.

Her hands were wandering over my body as well, sliding down my back, cupping

my jean-clad buttocks, then back up. She traced my muscles with her fingers
dancing lightly across them. She touched my nipples and sent electricity straight
through my chest and into my groin. I felt my cock growing hard and straining in my
jeans as her lips and hands moved across my body. I kissed her deeply while I
ground my cock against her and she groaned, arching herself towards me, needing
the friction that I was providing.

- 123 -

Our kisses were at a near frenzied state and I couldn't think about anything but

being inside her honeyed walls. I reached between us and yanked open the
button-fly of my jeans, allowing some breathing space for my rock-hard member.
Bella immediately shoved her hand between us and stroked me though my silk
boxers causing an immediate and almost violent shudder to rip through my body. I
quickly pushed my jeans off, trying not to break any contact with her. I planted my
lips on her left nipple and sucked and tugged on it with my teeth, enjoying the
moans that spilled from her lips. She pushed and pulled at my boxers so I obliged
her and pushed them off as well, leaving us both naked before one another. Nothing
had ever felt so natural to me in my life as having my naked body flush against
Bella's.

She sighed and moaned as I let my left hand drift between her legs. Heat

emanated from her core and as I slid my fingers between her wet, swollen, lower
lips, gooseflesh broke out all over my body in the excitement of feeling her for the
first time. She grunted and groaned as I allowed my fingers to explore her nether
region and her legs opened wide to me when I dipped just the tip of my middle
finger inside her.

"Oh, God, Bella, you're so wet…" I moaned.

She ground herself into my hand so I pushed further and buried my middle finger

inside of her pussy, feeling the walls pulsating around it. She let out a loud sigh and
thrust against my hand as I started stroking her slowly. She fisted her hands into my
hair and pulled my head down to her body where I used my tongue to trace patterns
on her breasts while slowly adding a second finger inside her.

"Ah… oh… God… Edward… need you… ungh…"

I stroked her a few more times, curling my fingers to find her sweet spot. She

cried out and shuddered as a powerful orgasm caused her tunnel to spasm and
clamp around my fingers.

Holy. Fuck. She's. Hot.

Small beads of sweat began to form on her forehead, upper lip, and chest. I licked

her chest and then brought my hand up to my mouth, moving deliberately slowly
and watching her as I pushed my fingers inside my mouth to taste her.

Fuck.

"Mmm, you taste so fucking good..."

- 124 -

She grabbed hold of my neck, pulling me to her and ran her tongue along my

fingers that were still buried in my mouth as I sucked her juices off them before
plunging her tongue into my mouth. I pulled my fingers out and steadied myself on
the bed, ready to enter her. I felt the tip of my cock touching her lips and she tilted
her hips, spreading her legs wide to grant me entrance. Just as I began to slip inside
her, she started saying, "Edward? Edward? Did you want to take a shower?"

I sat straight up and looked around wildly. Bella sat down next to me on the bed in

the dark and stroked my hair. "Are you okay? I think you must have been dreaming."

"I, um, er, yeah, I must have, um, drifted off… I'll just, uh, go get in the shower

real quick," I stuttered before jumping off the bed and scampering into the
bathroom. I could have sworn I saw her smirking just before the bathroom door
closed.

End Note: Next show is in San Francisco so please review to get your VIP

pass!

The Secret Twilight Garden is hosting a contest "A rose by any other name

would still _____ as sweet". Details are on my profile. We want lots of entries
so put your thinking caps on and write something up for us!

The Letter was nominated for an Indie Twific Award! The first round of

voting is already complete and I don't know yet whether it made the cut, but
to whomever nominated it and whomever voted for it... THANK YOU! It was
a tremendous honor to be nominated!

Don't forget to check out my entry in the Age of Edward contest called

"Omerta". It's Mafiaward/Domward. (YUM!) The link is on my profile. If you
like it, let me know and vote for me please! After the contest is over I plan to
expand that story because it was SO much fun to write.

Hopefully I'll get back to updating regularly. I have had a ton of RL twists

and turns that have gotten me completely discombobulated and have taken
time away from my writing. I'm hoping that things will start to level out
now. Thanks for hanging in there with me.

Reviews are love, VIP passes, and Edward's dreams becoming reality...

eventually...

- 125 -

Sailing

A/N Hi everyone! *waves* I know... update fail... again! But... here I am

with a chapter that I think you'll enjoy. ;) Has everyone read my entry for the
Age of Edward Contest? I hope so. I think the voting is over. I don't know
how I did yet, but thank you to anyone who read it and voted for me!

Theme song for this chapter is "Sailing" by Christopher Cross. (Thank you

Lillie for saving my ass... again...)

Speaking of Lillie saving my ass... HUGE thanks to her for her mad beta

skills and for being a very cool chick that I'm proud to call my friend. :) You
rock hard, bb!

I also need to thank Amy, Mil, Lea, and Tammy for keeping me honest and

keeping me moving forward. All of my friends have been uber supportive of
me and I appreciate it more than any of you know. I also wanna give a big
shout out to all the rest of "Velvet's Vixens" who keep my thread on
Twilighted hoppin' and sport those cool banners that identify them. :)

By the way, I haven't been to San Francisco since I was like, seven? So, if I

totally fucked up the sight-seeing tour in this chapter, please be gentle with
me, mmmkay??

Disclaimer: I own Rhianne, Abby, and the other guys in EC Velvet's group. Other

than that, all characters that are named after characters in the Twilight Saga, but
don't necessarily ACT like them all the time in this story, are owned by Stephenie
Meyer, without whom I never would have posted a word that I wrote for anyone to
read. Unfortunately, I don't make a damn dime off this crap. *sigh* Oh, and Edward
owns me, and rocks my panties. Just in case you didn't already know.

Bella

I stood in the bathroom door for several minutes watching Edward asleep on the

bed. He was obviously dreaming and it was obviously a very hot dream he was
having. I was thoroughly mesmerized watching him and listening to the moans,
grunts, and utterances. It felt almost wrong to be watching him sleep while in the
middle of an erotic dream, but I couldn't take my eyes off him. As he moved on the
bed, the sleeve of his shirt would slide up just the tiniest bit and I could see the edge
of the tattoo that adorned his right upper arm. I let my eyes travel over his body,

- 126 -

staring at the tight black t-shirt and the way his abdominal muscles rippled beneath
it with every one of his ragged breaths. When my eyes reached his jeans, my breath
hitched at the sight of his very hard cock straining against the buttons of his 501's.

I couldn't stop staring at that fucking bulge in his jeans. Jesus Christ, I felt like the

biggest fucking perv in the world. He moaned again and his hips, dear God, his hips
thrust upwards and then, the pièce de résistance… he moaned my name. Moaned.
My. Fucking. Name. Then he said, "Wet." I think I may have groaned aloud.

Bloody fucking hell, he was dreaming about me. I wasn't really sure what to do. I

was so turned on that I wanted to sneak over to the bed, rip off my pajamas, rip off
his jeans, and ride him as though there were no tomorrow. I'm pretty sure that I've
never been quite that turned on in my entire life before or since then. Okay, well, if
I'm truly honest with myself, I've been more turned on than that since then, but up
until that point, I'd never wanted cock so badly in my life.

My feet were rooted to the floor for a few more minutes while I watched him and

listened to the fuckhot sounds he was making. The reasonable part of me kept trying
to tell me that it was impolite to look but the part of me that was just fucking horny
kept trying to prod me to act on my instincts. It had been far too long since I'd been
laid and Edward was just all kinds of hotness.

What drove me over the edge was when he put his fingers in his mouth. Fuck me

sideways that was hot. It was when he said, "You taste so fucking good," that I
decided I had to wake him up. If I watched any longer, I wasn't going to be able to
control my body and I had nearly come standing there watching him stick his fingers
in his mouth. I had to resist the urge to jump his bones. It wasn't time. We weren't
ready for a sexual relationship. What if it messed up the great friendship and
romance we were already creating?

I walked over to the bed and stood looking down at him as his hips thrust upwards

again. He moaned and just before I lost it, I woke him. "Edward? Edward? Did you
want to take a shower?"

God. I felt so fucking dumb. I wanted to lay on top of him. I wanted to kiss him. I

wanted to rip his clothes off and lick every muscle on his torso. I wanted to put my
hand on his rock-hard cock and pump it furiously. I wanted to wrap my lips around it
and taste him. But I didn't. I sat down next to him and ran my fingers through his
hair, acting as though I hadn't just watched him fucking me in his sleep.

"Are you okay? I think you must have been dreaming?" My mind screamed at me

that I was lame. Why don't you just fucking tell him what you saw? So what if he's

- 127 -

embarrassed? It was HOT!

He stuttered around and then jumped and ran for the bathroom. My suspicions

had been correct. He was embarrassed, but what about? Was it the dream? The
content of the dream? Or that I had walked in on him? He had taken one last look at
me before he closed the bathroom door and I swear he blushed.

I sat back on the bed and tried to decide how to proceed. Should I leave? Should I

stay? Should I go get in the shower with him? Decidedly not. I just didn't know what
to do. I didn't know if we were ready to add the complication of sex to our
relationship. It had only been a few days for crying out loud.

I listened to the sounds coming from the bathroom. Edward was silent as he

showered and I wondered briefly if he was taking a hot shower… or a cold one. I
giggled quietly while I pondered that.

I finally decided to quit over-analyzing the situation and let fate take its course. I

would enjoy being with Edward for as long as fate allowed us to be together, which I
hoped was until the day I died, but nobody ever knows for sure what's in store for
them. Obviously, the fates had a big hand in putting us together, so it was time to
ride it out and see exactly what would happen.

I laid there in the bed drifting into the land between sleep and wakefulness until

Edward came out of the bathroom clad only in a pair of sleep pants. Not. Helpful.
My resolve to remain in a non-sexual relationship with him immediately flew right
out the window as he shut off the bathroom light and made his way over to the bed,
climbing under the covers and scooting close to me. I inhaled deeply and enjoyed
the scent of a freshly bathed Edward.

He lay on his side propped up on his elbow and leaned over to kiss my forehead.

"Is everything alright, Bella?" he whispered in the darkness.

I stared up at him with only the moonlight coming through the shades on the

window illuminating his face. "Yeah, everything's just fine, why?"

"I don't know, just making sure. It's all surreal for me."

"Me too, Edward. Me too."

"Are you tired?"

"A little, not bad. Did you want to talk?" I saw him smile, or smirk, whichever it

- 128 -

was.

"Yeah, I guess I wanted to talk… or something."

I felt warmth spreading in the pit of my stomach as soon as the "or something"

came out of his mouth. Was it possible that he wanted to…? I felt a spasm in my core
as I rolled over on my side to look at him.

"Edward… I…"

"Was I talking in my sleep?" His face was serious, but I could see the moonlight

dancing in his eyes.

I blushed furiously as I answered. "Yeah… you kind of were." I bit my lip and

watched his face.

"I'm sorry."

I put my hand on his face and looked deep into his eyes. "Don't be, Edward. It's

not like I don't have the same feelings. I just… I don't want to screw this up. Ya
know?"

"Me either, love."

I smiled at him and he smiled back before placing a chaste kiss on my lips. The

bus engine started and I could hear other engines starting around us.

"How come we're all alone in here? Where's Abby?"

"Rhianne put her and Mary in the other bus in her bed. She's a jewel."

"How long has she been with you, Edward?"

"As soon as I could afford an assistant, I hired Rhianne. She's been with me ever

since. She's irreplaceable. I don't know what I'd do if she ever quit. Although, I make
it worth her while not to."

Edward and I laid there and talked for quite some time. As we talked, the bus

started moving and I found the movement to be quite relaxing.

I reminded myself that I had to call Alice in the morning. She would be expecting

me home. I was surprised that I hadn't heard from her more than just a single text

- 129 -

asking if I was having a good time.

We finally drifted off to sleep in each other's arms. I was thoroughly enjoying the

closeness we were sharing. My sleep was deep, but full of dreams about Edward.

When I awakened the next morning, we were still on the road. Edward had said

that it was a ten-hour drive to San Francisco, so I hadn't expected us to be there
when I woke up. I glanced over at Edward, who was still asleep, and smiled at him.
His lips were turned up in a small smile and his bronze hair was a mess. I watched
his chest rise and fall and felt so much affection for the man lying next to me. I
glanced up at the clock and noted that it was ten o'clock so I slid carefully out of
bed. After I brushed my teeth and hair, I tiptoed out of the bathroom and bedroom. I
closed the bedroom door quietly and greeted the bus driver. He let me know that we
were in California and had a couple of hours to go so I started digging around for
food. I was pleased to find eggs, milk, bread, juice, bacon… everything I needed to
make a great breakfast. There was even cheese, onions, peppers, and tomatoes so I
set out to make omelets for Edward and me.

Edward awoke a short time later and came out of the bedroom smiling. "I smell

food," he said while he stretched. I was immediately distracted looking at his perfect
body. He had tats on both deltoids, one on his left chest, and one on his back. I had
known that he had them, but seeing him in the morning light, stretching, just made
him look sexy as hell with them.

He walked over to where I stood at the stove and wrapped his arms around me. I

leaned into his chest and he kissed my neck and ear. I smiled and sighed. I knew
that I could so get used to that every morning.

"Mornin', babe. Whatcha cookin'?" he said in my ear in the most velvety, smooth,

sexy voice.

"Mmmmm, breakfast," I replied and turned into his arms. He kissed my lips then

and smiled at me.

"You don't have to cook for me, Bella."

"I know, but I wanted to. Sit down."

He kissed me again and sat down at the table. We ate breakfast and talked about

what the day was going to be like. I heard my phone from the bedroom and it was
Alice's ringtone. I hadn't called her yet.

- 130 -

"Oh shit, that's Alice," I said as I jumped and ran for my phone. I stumbled and

damn near ended up on my face. Edward was so fast. He was up and caught me
before I biffed it on the floor of the bus.

"Bella, are you okay?"

I caught my breath. "Yeah, I'm fine, thanks."

He chuckled and kissed my cheek before righting me and releasing me. I placed

my hand on my cheek where his lips had touched me and smiled at him. My cheek
was still tingling, as was any part of my body that Edward ever touched.

We stared into each other's eyes for a brief moment and Edward brought his hand

up and touched his lips. That was the first time that I realized that he felt the
electricity between us as well. There was a short awkward silence before I turned
and went back to the bedroom to get my phone. I had one missed call and three text
messages from Alice. I also had two texts from Rose, one from Jasper, and eight
from Emmett. I sighed and walked back to the table to sit down and read the texts
before calling Alice.

Emmett's were, of course, crude in nature and I giggled while reading them.

"Your friends worried about you?"

"I'm not exactly sure that 'worried' is the word I would use," I said, laughing.

"Giving you a hard time then?"

"You could say that."

Edward looked at me expectantly so I read Emmett's message aloud to him.

"Be safe, Bells. I can buy you a truckload of condoms if you'd like, or a

membership to the condom-of-the-month club." I looked up at Edward and his eyes
were twinkling. I started laughing and he joined in.

"That Emmett is a riot."

"Yeah, he's a funny guy."

It was obvious that all of my friends had deduced that I was going with Edward, at

least for a while. Alice's last text message read, "Bella, would you get out of bed and

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at least answer your damn phone?"

I chuckled as I hit her speed dial number and listened as her phone rang once.

"Bella!"

"Hi, Alice. Everything is fine. Sorry I didn't get in touch with you sooner."

"I knew everything was fine. I just wanted to talk to you, silly!"

Edward smiled at me over his cup of coffee as I talked to Alice. I told her that I

could arrange to have my things moved out of the house if she wanted me to, but
she insisted that I leave them. Of course, I knew that would be her answer, but I
wanted to offer. We talked a little about the wedding and she still hadn't set a date.
She had a lot of questions about when the tour would be "over."

"Oh, I don't know if I'm staying that long… Perhaps just…"

"Bella, are you crazy? Of course you're staying that long! Take a leave of absence

from school and go, Bella. Have fun. Let me talk to Edward."

"Okay," I said, and handed Edward the phone. I was in a bit of a daze. It felt as

though everything was falling into place without my even trying. It was as though
there was something making everything work out just as it should.

After we both spoke to Alice, I started to call the school to get the papers for a

leave of absence, but I didn't know where to have them sent. Edward called Rhianne
and she agreed to take care of it for me, once again showing me that everything was
going to work itself out.

We arrived in San Francisco shortly after twelve-noon. I got out of the bus and

looked at the back of the Fillmore Auditorium thinking how strange it was to be
there. The other bus pulled up next to us and stopped. Shortly thereafter, Abby
came bounding off it.

"Bella! I got to sleep in the big bed with Mary and we got to watch cartoons while

we were traveling and I got a whole bunch of new toys and look at my new doll, isn't
she pretty!?"

I giggled and swept her up into my arms, hugging her tightly. "That's wonderful,

Abby! What a beautiful doll!"

"I named her Bella 'cause she looks like you! See? She has pretty brown hair and

- 132 -

eyes!"

"How sweet of you!"

"Where's my daddy?"

"He was right behind me." I turned around and Edward was stepping off the bus

with a huge grin on his face and a camera in his hand. He snapped a picture of Abby
and me before handing me the camera as he took Abby.

"Hi, baby! Did you sleep good?"

"Yes, daddy! See my new doll? Isn't she pretty? She's named Bella!"

Edward laughed and I took a few pictures myself as I watched him with his

daughter. It was obvious that she was the light of his life. His face lit up and he had
an infectious smile whenever she was around.

I fell more in love with Edward every minute that I was with him, but I found that

the time I spent with him and Abby just made me fall faster and harder. He was such
a good dad. The more I saw Abby and Edward together, the more I wanted to kick
the shit out of his whore of an ex-wife. That bitch was just pure evil to use Abby the
way she did and to neglect her as much as she had. My mind was already made up
that as long as I was around, I was going to do anything and everything in my power
to make sure Abby stayed with Edward. He was good for her and she was good for
him.

Abby said she was hungry and I hopped up from the chair I was in to see if I could

find her some food. Mary looked at me funny and said, "Bella, sit down and rest,
hon. I'll go fix her some lunch."

Honestly, I had almost forgotten that Mary was there. It just seemed like the right

thing for me to do to get Abby's lunch for her. "Are you sure, Mary? Wouldn't you
like to rest? I can whip up something."

Mary smiled. "Thanks, Bella, but I've already got a peanut butter and jelly

sandwich made along with some fruit cut up. All I have to do is go get it. Just enjoy
yourself."

There was a lot of activity and I walked around a little bit to stretch while Abby

had her lunch. The semi-trucks with all the stage paraphernalia were unloading. I
walked around and watched the stagehands hauling equipment off the trucks and

- 133 -

into the auditorium. After Abby had her lunch, Mary said she wanted to lay her
down for a while for a short nap as she had been up late the night before and
awakened early that morning. Abby gave Edward and me both hugs and kisses
before she went to lie down and I realized that not only was I in love with Edward, I
was head over heels in love with his little girl, too.

As soon as Mary and Abby had disappeared into the bus, Edward turned to me

with a grin. He had his phone up to his ear and it sounded like he was talking to
Rhianne. When he hung up, he grabbed my hand and said, "You ever been across
the Golden Gate Bridge?"

"Um, no, Edward. I've never been to San Francisco."

"Good, because we're going to do a little sight-seeing!"

We wandered back until we found a truck that my pretty blue car was being

unloaded from. As soon as it was out of the truck, Edward opened the passenger
door for me and stole a kiss as I crawled in. I grinned at him while he shut my door
and ran around to the driver's side. He jumped in and took off like a bat out of hell.

It was a rare sunny day in San Francisco. No fog or clouds to block the lovely

views. We drove down Lombard Street and then made our way over to The
Embarcadero and took that to Fisherman's Wharf. We got out at Fisherman's Wharf
and walked around for a half hour or so and then drove over to Hyde Street to see
the cable cars. Next, we took Marina Boulevard around and Edward pointed out the
San Francisco National Cemetery and showed me where The Presidio was. Then, it
was on up The Redwood Highway to the Golden Gate Bridge. We crossed the bridge
and I was astounded at how big and beautiful it was, its orange paint in stark
contrast to the dark ocean water below and the blue sky above. When we reached
the northern side, we pulled off into the Vista Point parking lot and took some
pictures of the bridge.

The sky was a gorgeous blue without a cloud in sight and the bridge was

absolutely breathtaking. Edward asked an older couple to take a picture of us in
front of the bridge and we were thrilled that they agreed. No one bothered us and it
was as though we were any other couple just out enjoying the sights in San
Francisco. I also realized that this was the first picture of Edward and me together
that we had taken so I couldn't wait to get it printed.

We got back in the car and drove south across the bridge again and I delighted in

taking pictures from the car. Once we were back on the San Francisco side of the
bridge, Edward made his way back to The Fillmore. He explained that he wanted to

- 134 -

show me more, but time wouldn't permit it on this trip.

"It's okay, Edward. I've thoroughly enjoyed this afternoon and hopefully there will

be another time."

He took my hand and squeezed it tightly. "I hope so, Bella. I really do."

When we arrived back at The Fillmore, crowds were starting to gather and there

was a rather large contingency of reporters and photographers loitering around as
close to the buses as they could get. Edward took my hand and squeezed it again. "I
hope you're ready for all this. It's like this all the time."

I put on my best smile and said, "I'll do the best I can, Edward. That's all I can do."

He glanced over at me and replied, "If you smile like that all the time, you won't

have any problems, baby."

I'm pretty sure I melted every time he called me 'baby.' I couldn't ever recall

another man calling me that. Mike's favorite terms had been 'bitch' and 'stupid
bitch'. Jacob, well, I refused to even think about that.

Edward approached the truck where the car would be safely stowed and we got

out and stretched. Edward came to the other side of the car and took my hand as we
made our way towards the throngs of fans, photographers, and reporters. Several
members of Edward's security team appeared seemingly out of nowhere and
escorted us.

As we approached them, the fans all started screaming. I was suddenly thankful

for the barriers between us and them. The security team more or less encircled us
and kept people from crossing the barrier. Edward moved along the makeshift fence
and shook hands with several people, stopping a few times to grant an autograph.
The photographers were snapping pictures continuously and the reporters started
shouting questions.

"Who is your friend? Is this your new love interest? Where is she from? Who is

she? Where did you meet? How did you meet?"

I was totally overwhelmed. I wondered how Edward dealt with all that, but he took

it completely in stride. I felt the blush creep across my face when Edward
introduced me.

"I'm just going to make a brief statement and I'm sorry, but I don't have time to

- 135 -

answer a lot of questions. My assistant will be happy to send all of you a press
release as soon as it's ready. For now, what you all need to know is that this is Bella
Swan, my girlfriend. We met a few months ago, but kept our relationship under
wraps. We'd prefer as much privacy as possible as we get to know each other better.
Bella isn't used to a public life and I'd like to keep her out of the spotlight as much
as possible. I know that all of you and the fans are going to be curious so we will
provide as much information as we deem necessary at this time, but beyond that, we
would prefer she be left alone. She won't be making a statement today, so please
don't ask. I hope that everyone here who wanted tickets to the show got them and if
not, please join us in LA day after tomorrow. So far, the shows on this tour have
been wildly successful and we look forward to more successful shows, including the
one tonight. Please remember that the proceeds from tonight's show are going to
"Save the Music." I know you all have questions, but unfortunately, it's time for us to
go get ready for the show. Thank you all for being here."

Edward waved and squeezed my hand so I waved too, and then he turned and led

me away, the bodyguards surrounding us and making sure none of the reporters got
through. They were all yelling questions after us, but Edward told me just to keep
walking and not to worry about them.

I. Was. Terrified. I had seen things like that on television, but I never really

thought about them happening in real life, and certainly not to me. When we got
back to the bus, I was nearly in a state of panic and almost hyperventilated. Edward
moved aside and let me walk onto the bus first. He followed me inside and grabbed
me.

"Bella? Bella, are you okay? Talk to me."

I turned and looked at him, unable to hide the tears in my eyes. "I'm sorry,

Edward. That was just… scary as hell. I'm not one for being the center of attention
and that was just… overwhelming."

He pulled me into an embrace and brushed my hair back from my face, tucking it

behind my ear. I put my arms around his waist and leaned my head against his
shoulder, sobbing uncontrollably.

"Shhh, Bella, it's okay. It's all over for now. I know it's frightening, but I pay those

bodyguards an exorbitant amount money to ensure both mine and your safety, as
well as all the rest of my people, including Abby. Don't be scared, Bella. You did
great."

I attempted to calm myself down and as I did, I looked up into Edward's face to

- 136 -

see him smiling down at me. "Is this really how it is all the time?"

"Unfortunately, yeah, it is. Do you want to go home now?"

I shook my head vehemently. "No, Edward, I don't want to go home. I'm sorry I

freaked out."

"It's alright, baby. I understand that it's overwhelming."

We talked a little more before we headed to the bedroom to start getting ready for

the show. I was unprepared for what greeted me when we walked in. On the bed
were several sacks and garment bags full of clothes, shoes, bras, panties, everything
I could ever imagine needing. There was even lingerie that made me blush when I
opened the bag.

"Edward? Where did all this come from?"

He smiled. "Well, technically it's from me, but Rhianne made all the

arrangements, of course."

I looked at the names on the sacks and was amazed. I wasn't sure that I could

keep all of it. Jimmy Choo, Gucci, Louis Vuitton, Prada, Sak's, Burberry, Versace… it
was a wardrobe that even Alice would be proud of. My eyes found their way to
Edward's face, who was smiling at me with apprehension. "I hope it's okay, Bella… I
just wanted you to have more than a couple of outfits to wear… if you don't want…"

"Edward, shut up. I love it. I love it all. Thank you, really. I'm just overwhelmed.

These aren't the stores that I usually shop in, unless I'm shopping with Alice and
Rosalie."

"If there's anything that you don't like or that doesn't fit, we can return it."

I hugged him and kissed him. What else could I do? He was amazing, and I told

him so. "You're amazing, Edward, you know that?"

"No, Bella. You're the amazing one. Now… pick something out to wear!" He

gestured at the plethora of items strewn on the bed and I giggled. I didn't even know
where to start, but Rhianne had done a beautiful job of picking out things that I
would like. All of the items I found in the various garment bags and sacks and boxes
were things that I would actually wear. They were all sensible, yet beautiful.

After perusing the collection for several minutes, hanging up the items that

- 137 -

needed to be hung, stashing several shoe boxes in the closet, I chose a beautiful
sapphire blue dress that was fitted on top and full in the skirt. It fell to my mid thigh
and showed off my legs rather well. It was cut low enough on top to show some
cleavage, but not so low that I was uncomfortable wearing it. There were even
matching shoes and a sapphire blue bra and panty set that matched. In fact, it
seemed that there were matching shoes and lingerie for nearly every outfit Rhianne
had purchased for me. I took a picture of myself in front of the full mirror and texted
it to Alice who immediately replied with, "Perfect!" I wondered if she thought I had
picked the outfit out myself. I smiled and exited the bedroom to find Edward dressed
in his usual black t-shirt, jeans, and custom made Adidas, sitting on the sofa facing
the bedroom, one leg on the floor and one leg stretched along the back.

God… he looks good enough to eat. Focus, Bella. He's got to do his show…

As soon as I walked in, he eyed me appreciatively. "Well, don't you just look

fucking amazing, as usual?"

I smiled and twirled around. "Is it too much? I can go change…"

Before all the words had left my mouth, he stood, crossed the floor, took me in his

arms, and pressed his lips against mine. "Just fucking perfect," he murmured against
my mouth.

I heard and felt him inhale deeply as he kissed his way across my jaw to the

hollow behind my ear. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, taking in his scent
as well. I wondered how long I was going to be able to resist him.

A need for his body was overwhelming my desire to do the relationship right.

Every time he was in close proximity to me, I began to have fantasies of his lips on
my breasts, his tongue teasing my nipples, his hands roaming over my naked body,
his hard, and seemingly quite massive, dick entering my most secret chamber,
tasting myself on his lips…

"Are you ready to go, Bella?" Edward's voice ripped me from my fantasies and I

blinked at him.

"Go? Er, um, yes, ready to go."

"Are you alright?" I noticed him adjusting his jeans when he asked. Not. Helping. I

stared at the obvious bulge in his pants.

"Bella?"

- 138 -

I jerked my head up to look at his face and saw that he was smirking. Fucking

busted. Damn it, Swan. Get your shit together.

"Sorry, I got… distracted. I'm ready."

Edward pulled me into his arms again and pressed his hardness against my belly.

"How long are we going to be able to keep up this charade of doing the right thing,
Bella?" His voice sounded so innocent when he asked, yet full of desire.

I snaked my arms up his chest and into his perfect sex hair, pulling him to me for

a kiss. "I don't know, Edward. My resolve is failing."

He chuckled and held me tight. I nuzzled my head into his chest and let my arms

drop down to wrap around his waist. We stood like that until there was a rap at the
door.

"Um, are you guys decent in there?" It sounded like Chris.

"Yeah, man, we're decent. Just procrastinating. Come on in."

Edward and I parted and held hands when Chris walked on to the bus. He looked

at us both and I know that I flushed from head to toe. "I know you all are busy
playing 'Getting To Know You' in here, but, uh, may I remind you that we have
around 1,200 people who paid a ton of money for their tickets to this show? Time to
get to work, man. Sorry, Bella, no offence."

"None taken, Chris. Thank you for bring us back to reality. We may have both

chosen to live in a fantasy world all night otherwise." I giggled and Edward rolled
his eyes.

We headed off the bus and into the Fillmore for an intimate show with 1,200 of

Edward's closest friends. It was, as always, amazing. It was even better, in some
ways, than the bigger shows had been. The crowd was smaller, but much more
involved in the show. I recognized the contingent that called themselves "Velvet's
Vixens" in the first couple of rows and wondered how they always managed to get
such good tickets, but mostly I wondered how they could afford to get such good
tickets for so many shows, particularly this one. I had heard talk that the tickets for
this show were about a grand each because of the proceeds going to the "Save the
Music" charity. I noticed several MTV cameras around throughout the night and
tried to avoid them.

That particular twenty-four hours seemed to be a turning point in our relationship.

- 139 -

We both learned that the other was almost uncontrollably attracted to the other, and
we both learned that we were both trying like hell to 'do it right' this time around.
We also both realized that being together felt natural. There were no uncomfortable
silences between us. When we needed to talk, the words came. When we needed to
support one another, we didn't have to ask, we just did what came naturally. Even
though our entire relationship seemed fated to happen, it was the first time that we
both realized that fated or not, we both wanted the relationship, badly.

That night, after the show, after the after-party, and the after the after-party

after-party, we snuggled into bed together, both exhausted, both exhilarated, and
both one hundred percent in love with each other. We didn't know what was to
come, but we knew that whatever it was, we were both determined to face it
together.

End Note: OK! It's off to LA and then San Diego. Hope all of you San Fran

girls enjoyed the show. (Please know that Edward fronted the $1,000 a piece
for tickets for you ladies who live in the San Fran area and REVIEW!)
Speaking of reviews... Let's get rolling on them people! You might be
surprised at what happens when we hit 1,000 reviews... just sayin'. VIP
tickets to all who review, of course, and occassionally, your way too busy
author will grace you with a reply, but if she doesn't please don't be
offended. I read and LOVE every single one!

- 140 -

Decompensate

A/N This chapter was really fun to write. I hope you all enjoy it. It's a bit...

intense... in areas. :) I've found myself in a quandary over the theme song
for the chapter, but I've decided on "Same Song & Dance" by Eminem,
although "Bitch Please II" was a VERY close 2nd. Feel free to listen to both
songs while reading the chapter... but wait until after the beginning part.
You'll know when to start. LOL

Many many thanks to Lillie Cullen. Never doubt that you're needed BB,

and for much more than just beta'ing my chapters. ;)

You can now follow me on Twitter. www (dot) twitter (dot) com / JuJuRN40

A link to the Secret Twilight Garden Blog is on my profile there and I send
updates about the progress of chapters and other fun stuff. Hope to see you
there!

Obligatory Disclaimer: All hail Stephenie Meyer who owns all things Twilight. I

own four televisions that I can't remember how to operate since my Twilight
obsession.

Edward

The morning after the San Francisco show was busy. All the partying the night

before had taken its toll and I was hungover, feeling shitty, horny as fuck, and just
really wanting to be alone with Bella. Instead, as we arrived in LA, I had to get up
and dress for an appearance at a radio station on one of the early morning shows.

I awakened before the alarm on my phone went off, thank God, and spent some

quality time looking down at Bella's head on my shoulder. Her arm was curled
around my belly and she had one leg thrown across my legs. All of that would have
been just spectacular in and of itself, but she also had her hot crotch pressed into
my thigh. My morning wood was straining and bobbing, begging to be released from
its confines. She was obviously still sound asleep and dreaming as she murmured,
"Oh, Edward," into my shoulder.

Fuck. Why is it again that we're resisting each other?

I tried to lay still and not molest her as she ground her pussy into my thigh. I

didn't know whether to say thanks that she had on those fucking hot panties or

- 141 -

curse their existence. I reached over with my free hand and grabbed my phone off
the shelf next to the bed, turning it off before the fucking alarm woke her up from
her bliss.

"Mmmmm, oh yeah…" fell from her lips and my cock pulsed, reminding me of its

existence, and its neglected state.

"Edward, please?" she begged in her sleep.

The knot in my stomach tightened and I grasped the sheet with my free hand.

What could she be begging for? Doesn't she know there's nothing I would deny

her?

She ground herself against me again, harder this time. My chest felt tight and I

couldn't breathe. I wanted her so fucking bad. I struggled with wanting to wake her
up and make her dream come true. Her grinding on my thigh became more insistent
and I realized from the sounds she was making that she was going to come.

Holy fucking hell! She's having a wet fucking dream?!

Bella's arm and leg tightened around me and she rubbed herself hard against my

leg. I let go of a modicum of control and allowed my thigh to press into her. She
moaned freely and her whole body shuddered.

"Ah, ah, ah," she cried, clamping her leg down on my legs and rubbing herself on

me.

Jesus Christ, that was the sweetest sound in the universe. I had been able to feel

that her panties were soaked for some time, but now I felt her juices coating my
thigh. I closed my eyes and listened to her ragged breathing while feeling her hold
on me loosen. I re-opened my eyes and looked at her angelic face, a light sheen of
sweat on her brow. She had fallen back into a deep sleep and I knew that I had to
get up. As much as I wanted to just lay there and bask in what had just happened, I
couldn't.

I kissed the top of her head and slid out of bed carefully, attempting not to wake

her. She sighed and seemed to be looking for my body so I placed a pillow under her
arm. She pulled it close and stilled. I watched her sleep for one more minute before
I turned sadly and went into the bathroom. At least I had the presence of mind to get
my clothes out before I had gone to bed.

- 142 -

I stepped into the shower wondering how long she would sleep. The hot water ran

over my body and I closed my eyes while I washed my hair and thought about Bella's
dream. My cock, which had taken the position of being permanently semi-hard or
hard when I was around Bella, was hard enough to shatter the shower door with if I
hit it just right. I started soaping up my body and thought back to Bella lying in my
bed, just feet away. I had to have some release. How would I be able to concentrate
on the interviews and meetings I had to do today with my dick straining in my pants
and distracting me all day long?

I ran my right hand down and grasped my cock squeezing it lightly, then slid my

wet, soapy, slick hand- just like Bella is right now- over the shaft. My knees nearly
gave out just from the contact. I braced myself against the back of the shower with
my left hand, closed my eyes, and pictured Bella naked before me. It was her hand
on me. Her eyes on me. Her lips on me. I tightened my grip on my cock and stroked
up the shaft, turning my palm over the sensitive head, and stroking back down. I
thought about Bella, so beautiful, so vibrant, so shy, so sexy. I found myself
pounding my cock faster and harder than I really even wanted to. My mouth opened
involuntarily and I stifled a moan as I pictured my cock sinking into Bella's beautiful
body, filling her completely and making her shudder and moan beneath me. My balls
clenched and I could feel the pressure of my orgasm building to a frenzied state. The
coil in my gut tightened almost painfully before my release suddenly washed over
me with a fury and my seed spewed out and hit the shower wall. I squeezed and
stroked my shaft long and hard until I was completely spent and began to soften. My
knees felt weak from the powerful orgasm combined with the mental images and the
emotions I was feeling.

I stood under the cooling water for a moment to catch my breath and realized that

I had no idea what time it was or how long I had been there... or how noisy I had
been. I quickly washed the evidence of my moment of weakness off the wall of the
shower and made sure it was all washed down the drain. What would Bella think of
me if she saw that in the shower?

I stepped out and dried off quickly while listening for signs of Bella being awake. I

couldn't hear anything except the engine of the bus and the tires moving over the
road so after dressing and brushing my teeth, running my fingers through my wet
hair, and taking one peek in the mirror to make sure I looked okay, I braved
stepping back into the bedroom. Thankfully, Bella was still fast asleep on the bed.

I quietly slipped out of the bedroom and into the main compartment of the bus.

The driver acknowledged me with a wave as I opened the fridge and grabbed the
orange juice. I also dug around in the cabinets and found a bottle of Tylenol. I
definitely needed a couple of those. As soon as I turned my phone back on, Rhianne

- 143 -

was calling.

"Edward? You remembered the radio show, right?"

"Yeah, I'm ready."

"Okay, we should be there in ten minutes. You realize that you have a day full of

appearances and meetings today, don't you?"

I sighed. "Yeah, I know."

"Is there something special you'd like for Bella to do today?"

"Maybe she and Abby could go shopping on Rodeo Drive or something."

"Perfect. I'll get that organized for you."

"Rhianne?"

"Yes?"

"I don't tell you thank you often enough."

She chuckled. "It's okay, Edward. My job is to make your life easier and I enjoy it.

Oh, and by the way, Paul is meeting you at the studio. I thought you'd want to
know."

"Great. Thanks for the warning." Rhianne knew that I wasn't particularly happy

with Paul, my manager, but that because of a contractual agreement, I had to keep
him on as long as I was with my current label. He and I had never really gotten
along well, but he was the best in the business, supposedly. When you are new to
the business, there's a lot of shit that people tell you that turns out to be bullshit
later, but I suppose that's how everyone learns.

"See you in a few."

"Yeah, see ya."

I sat down with my glass of orange juice and contemplated the day ahead. I hoped

that I had remembered to tell Bella that I was going to be busy all day. I decided to
write her a quick note, on the off chance that in my state of drunkenness the night
before, I had forgotten to warn her. It didn't even cross my mind that Rhianne was

- 144 -

probably briefing her every day just as she did me.

Hey, Bella, Hope you slept well. I don't remember if I told you that I have a ton of

things scheduled for today. Rhianne is arranging for you and Abby to go shopping on
Rodeo Drive. She'll give you one of my credit cards. Don't be afraid to use it for both
of you. Love, Edward.

I left the note on the table and headed for the door. The bus stopped just as I

arrived there. Rhianne and three bodyguards approached as soon as the door
opened. One bodyguard got on the bus with Bella and the other two walked behind
Rhianne and me. I turned and gave the bus a last look as it pulled away. It was the
first time in five days that Bella and I had been apart. I felt sad and empty as the bus
drove away and I was left to myself.

I did the radio show and afterwards a limo picked us up. Rhianne was on her

phone almost constantly doing what she does.

I stared out the window as we drove to the studio where I would pay homage to

the executive producers and the studio president, or as I referred to them, the
studio gods. I would be glad when my shitty contract with that studio was up and I
could put albums out on my own label. I hated my manager for the contract he'd
insisted I sign with them. The good news was, it would be over soon, and then I
could do as I pleased. I was only obligated to cut one more album with that stupid
studio and with any luck, it would be a greatest hits album which would keep me
mostly out of the studio and allow me to save the new songs I was working on for my
own album.

I planned to form my own label so I could be in control of a bigger share of my life,

cutting down on the travel needed when I was recording, as well as being able to
promote other acts that I discovered along the way. I would make sure that the
bullshit that had happened to me in the early years of my career wouldn't happen to
any artist that I promoted. Why shouldn't music artists be their own executive
producer? Movie stars do that shit all the time.

We arrived at the corporate office of the record label and as per usual, Paul was

late.

Why is it again that I need a fucking manager if he's always going to be late and

have me sign shitty contracts?

Rhianne and I waited in the lobby and about ten minutes later, his car arrived. I

was skeptical of his arrival in a limo. Shouldn't he be driving himself? I should be

- 145 -

making more money than him, right? I rolled my eyes when he actually waited for
the chauffer to open his door. Self-righteous prick.

I strode out to meet him and shook his hand. "Hey, Paul. What's up?"

"Well, Edward, not much… except THIS!" He shoved a copy of the Los Angeles

Times in my chest and stormed into the building.

I pulled the paper out and glanced at Rhianne before looking to see what had Paul

so upset. As we walked into the door of the building behind him, I saw what it was.
"Superstar Rap Artist EC Velvet Introduces New Love Interest." I skimmed through
the article quickly as I walked along beside Rhianne and behind Paul who stopped
and punched the button to go up on the elevator and turned to me angrily.

"You could have told me about this shit before you just go off dipping your wick

into some new chick, Edward. It was one thing to have a 'mystery woman' seen with
you, it's quite another to introduce her as your fucking girlfriend. Now I have to deal
with the aftermath!"

I sighed and handed the paper to Rhianne. "You don't have to deal with anything,"

I said, as we stepped into the elevator.

"Edward, you don't even know what kinds of things I have to deal with for you!

Everything you do is front-page news. I'm the one that has to pick up the pieces of
the messes you make!"

Now he was pissing me off. I rarely, if ever, made messes. Okay, so my marriage

and subsequent divorce was a mess. I hadn't done a damn thing since then to
warrant this assault on my character. Maybe I drank a little, but I wasn't a fucking
drunk. I didn't do drugs. I didn't bang groupies four at a time. I didn't get involved in
street gang violence. I didn't take beefs with other rappers seriously. I wasn't
involved in a bunch of stupid lawsuits. I was practically the Eagle Scout of the rap
world!

"What the fuck have I done that's so terrible, Paul? Seriously?! I try to live my life

the right way. I got divorced. So fucking what! That was a year ago! I went to court
to get custody of my daughter from my strung out ex wife. What the fuck's wrong
with that? I haven't had a girlfriend in over a year and my sex life is none of your
fucking business! Aren't I entitled to SOME happiness?" By the time I was done, I
was yelling. Loudly. I was a little embarrassed when the elevator door opened and
the receptionist was staring at us from her desk in front of the elevator.

- 146 -

"Now, Edward, there's no need to get upset," Paul said while walking towards the

receptionist's desk.

"Upset, my ass!" I retorted.

Rhianne patted me on the back and looked at me sympathetically. By then I was so

pissed off that I didn't want her sympathy. I didn't want anything but to be left the
hell alone.

We walked into the meeting with the executive producers and the president of the

label and that's when the icing on the cake started melting and drizzling all over the
fucking floor. My cell phone buzzed and I glanced at it absent-mindedly when I
reached to hit the ignore button, but it was my attorney. Fuck.

"Um, guys, I'm really sorry, but I have to take this call. I'm just gonna step out

here in the hall for a minute," I said as I answered the phone. They all nodded to me
while I walked out into the hallway to find out what news the blood-sucking lawyer
had for me.

It was about Tanya, of course. What the fuck else would it be about? Apparently,

she had been harassing my mother, my father at work, my attorney, stalking my
house, and had managed to get herself busted for possession with intent to sell
cocaine a block from my house, as well as solicitation in the same location. Fuck.
Fuck. Fuck.

"Is she at least in fucking jail?" I asked incredulously after hearing the whole

story. And why the HELL didn't my mother CALL me?

"Wow, really? Are you sure it was $500,000 bond and not $50,000? Good. Maybe

the bitch will sit in there for a while."

After I hung up, I stood in the deserted hallway for a moment contemplating all I

had just been told. Weren't there people that I paid well to protect me from this kind
of shit? Oh yeah. Most of them were sitting in that room.

I stormed back through the doorway and took my seat at the table, glaring around

the room at everyone except Rhianne. She was one person that I couldn't find fault
with. She had brought my angel to me. The rest of them could go to hell as far as I
was concerned. I knew that the only reason Paul had wanted me here was to try to
negotiate another shitty contract to tack on to the end of my current shitty contract
and it wasn't happening. Especially not today. Over my dead fucking body was I
signing with the label again.

- 147 -

"Edward? Are you okay?"

Leave it to Rhianne to be the only person capable of paying attention and reading

me.

"No, I'm not fucking okay. I'm a long fucking ways from okay." I stood up and

starting pacing around the room as I raved at all the assholes in that room that were
rich because of me.

"I just got off the phone with my attorney back in Chicago. It seems my fucking

cunt of an ex-wife has been harassing my mother, harassing my father at the
hospital, stalking my house, harassing my attorney, and selling fucking cocaine and
her body, apparently, a block from MY FUCKING HOUSE! Isn't there ANYONE
looking out for EDWARD in all this fucking mess? Anyone BESIDES Rhianne?
Because I'm telling all of you assholes right now that this is un-fucking-acceptable.
There has GOT to be something someone can do to help me out here. The cunt is in
jail right now. Can this big," I waved my arms around, "corporate cluster-fuck do
anything for me besides make me beg for every goddamn cent I EARN?!?" I
slammed my fist down on the table for effect and looked around at the horrified
faces.

Paul was the first to speak. "Now, Edward, you're upset."

"I'm upset? Upset. That's what you call this? Upset? How. Fucking. DARE. You.

You think this is just 'upset,' Paul? This is WAY FUCKING BEYOND UPSET!"

He reached over to grab my arm and before I could stop it, my fist was drawn

back. "Don't fucking touch me, you asshole, or I swear to God I'll knock you the fuck
OUT!"

He pulled his hand back quickly. I was way out of control and I knew it. I dropped

my fist and took a shaky breath. I looked around at everyone and said, "I'm sorry.
This just isn't a good day for me to be here. If there are any contract negotiations
that anyone has planned for today, forget it. I'm leaving. I can't deal with this shit
right now." And that was that. I walked out the door leaving a stone silent room
behind me.

I reached the elevator and punched the down button at least twenty-five times

before I realized that it wasn't going to make the elevator come any faster. As soon
as the door opened, I was inside and hit the 'one' button with my fist. The sooner I
was out of that hellhole the better. Rhianne slid through the doors just as they were
about to close.

- 148 -

"Edward, you really need to calm down. I know you don't want to hear that right

now… but you know you need to."

I stared at the ceiling of the elevator breathing heavily. She was right. I knew she

was right. But, I did have a wee bit of an anger management problem. I had worked
hard for years to keep it under wraps, but this was just too much.

The elevator dinged as it reached the first floor and the doors opened. Great. A

whole fucking lobby full of photographers and reporters. Fuck. Them.

I stomped out of the elevator right past them and into the street. Fortunately,

Rhianne had already called for our car and it was parked out front. The bodyguards
exited the next elevator right behind us and started pushing the stupid paparazzi out
of the way to catch up to me. Frankly, I didn't even care that I was essentially alone
in that mess. I just wanted the hell out of there. I yanked open the door of the limo,
jumped in, and started digging around in the wet bar for something to drink.

Rhianne clucked her tongue when she climbed in and I glared at her. She picked

up her phone and acted like she was reading email or something. I poured myself
some scotch that I found in the limo and clunked a couple of chunks of ice into my
glass. I downed it quickly and pulled my phone back out of my pocket while pouring
the second glass. I punched up the speed dial number for my mom and downed my
second glass of scotch before pouring the third. Rhianne was looking at me with
deep concern now. I knew that I was drinking way too much way too fast on a very
empty stomach, but frankly, I didn't give a flying fuck at that particular moment in
time.

"Mom? What the fuck? Why didn't you tell me about this bullshit that Tanya's been

pulling? Do I need to hire you a bodyguard, too? Dad?"

"Edward! I didn't want to bother you. Watch your mouth. Where's Abby?"

"She's shopping with Bella, I presume. I just got a helluva phone call from my

attorney, Mom. What the hell's going on?" I downed the third glass of scotch and
Rhianne yanked the glass out of my hand. I shrugged, picked up the bottle, and took
a nice big swig. Rhianne pried the bottle, which had been full when I started, but
was now about two-thirds empty, out of my hand while I listened to my mother tell
me horror stories about Tanya. It seems she had been calling the house repeatedly,
banging on the door at all hours of the night, screaming in the front yard, showing
up at the hospital where my father works and making a total and complete ass of
herself the last couple of days. I was, in a word, appalled.

- 149 -

"Mom, why the hell didn't you tell me? I could have done something!"

"It's handled, Edward. I didn't want you to worry."

"That bitch is crazy. She could have shot you or something. Goddammit, don't you

EVER keep something like that from me again!"

"Edward."

"What?"

Silence. Fuck.

"I'm sorry for the language, Mom, but please, if she gets out of jail, and anything

else happens, I want to know about it, okay?"

The booze was starting to hit me and I leaned back in the seat, only relaxing

slightly. It was a good thing I wasn't a mean drunk.

"Alright, Edward. Even though you don't need those kinds of things on your mind

right now, I'll let you know if anything else happens."

"Thank you."

"How's Abigail?"

"Doing great. She really likessss Bella."

"What's wrong with you?"

"Uh, nossing." Shit, am I slurring? Fuck. "I gotta go. Call you later?"

"Alright, Edward. I love you."

"Love you, thoo, Mom."

I hung up before the words could get any more fucked up and slurred. Fuck. Now

what did I do? Now I'm fucking pissed off AND drunk. I looked at Rhianne who
peered at me over her phone.

"Happy now?" she asked sarcastically.

- 150 -

"Fuck you."

She shook her head at me. "You need food and a nap."

"I'm shory."

My eyes were falling closed and I saw her roll hers. "I know, Edward. I know."

It was a good thing we didn't have a show that night. When I awakened, it was

late in the afternoon, towards evening. My head was pounding and I rolled over to
look at the clock. I noted a big glass of water and two Tylenol lying next to it. The
clock had been unplugged. I reached for my phone, but found that I was no longer
wearing my clothes. I was in my boxers. I blinked and looked around the room. It
was empty. The door was closed. I sat up and groaned before reaching for the water
and the Tylenol. The first thought that came to my mind was how bad I might have
fucked things up with Bella and whether she had left to go back to Seattle yet or
not. I didn't remember seeing her all day, but as much scotch as I had consumed
that morning, nothing would surprise me. The door opened and I looked over to see
the very person I had feared lost peeking in at me.

"You awake?"

"Unfortunately."

She giggled. Giggled. How could she be giggling? I had to have been a complete

asshole.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?" she asked as she sat down next to me on the bed.

"I don't know why you're still here. I really lost it earlier and I'm sure I was a prick

to you."

"You weren't a prick to me, Edward, but you do owe Rhianne an apology. And

maybe your mother, too. You were too out of it by the time I saw you to be anything
to me but drunk and passed out."

She stroked my back while she talked to me. I didn't feel deserving of her love and

affection. I felt a sob rip out of my throat and before I could stop myself, I was full
out crying. Fucking crying. Why am I acting like an emotional teenaged girl with
PMS today?

- 151 -

Bella scooted herself up on the bed and pulled me to her, holding me while I cried.

I didn't even know what the hell I was crying about. I was just crying. Sobbing. I
must have cried every tear that I had denied myself for my entire life right then. My
body heaved with my sobs and the tears spilled down my face, staining Bella's
blouse. She just sat there, holding me, silently.

Finally, I pulled my shit together. Bella handed me some tissues and I thanked her

quietly while I wiped my eyes and blew my nose. Well, if that isn't just fucking sexy,
Cullen.

I tossed the tissue and went into the bathroom to splash some water on my face,

brush my teeth, wash my hands, and stare at myself in the mirror. I was a mess. I
had dark circles under my eyes and looked a wreck. Bella walked into the small
bathroom and wrapped her arms around my bare waist, laying her head on my back.
I stood there, not quite knowing what to do. I still felt like an asshole, even if I had
been passed out when she saw me. In fact, I felt more like an asshole knowing that.

"Edward," she whispered.

"Yeah," I grunted back at her.

"I love you. Nothing you can do or say can ever change that now. There's nothing

in your life that I don't want to share with you. Please, just let me in, Edward. I want
to love you and take care of you. I want to be the one you depend on when days get
rough. I want to be your safe place in the storm, if you'll let me."

End Note: Edward has asked me to inform everyone that I'm going on

vacation next week so there may or may not be an update next week. If I
don't have time to finish the next chapter and update while I'm gone, I will
as soon as I return. He's a little pissy about it because he's still getting
cockblocked, but he'll get over it. Hey, at least he got "Edward's Happy
Time" in the shower this chapter, right? And... that's worth a review... right?
Right!?

So, we've got the LA show coming up next chapter... had to split this one

into two so that I could post in a timely fashion... then San Diego, and after
that we're headed to Phoenix. Don't forget that all reviewers get free VIP
passes, and can join Velvet's Vixens if they so desire. Lots of spectacular shit
can go down if we get inundated with reviews... just sayin'.

- 152 -

Redeemed

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: Several readers have voiced concern

regarding Edward's drinking in this story. First of all, he's a fictional rap
superstar. I think that even the real ones have a tendency to overdo their
"substance of choice" on occasion. Secondly, I promise that this Edward is
not an alcoholic. He isn't going to do anything that will put Abby in danger
or put his custody of her in danger. It's part of the reason why he has a
nanny. I do thank all of you that have mentioned it for your concern.

A/N: My vacation was awesome. Thank you to all of you who wished me

well and everyone who has remained patiently waiting for this update. It
took a bit longer than expected, but had I just punched it out, it would have
been sub-standard and I would have hated it. Good chapters, like good wine,
take some time. Thanks also for all the reviews, fav adds, and story alerts.
I've answered a few of the reviews since my vacation, but not all. Please
know that I read and cherish each and every one and keep them coming.

Lillie Cullen is the best freaking beta in the world. Period. Of course, I

love her for much more than that. I think she knows why. :)

Amy and Militza - Thank you for all of your support and encouragement.

Tammy - Thanks for happening to be the only one on line in that very

important moment when I needed to know if I had the appropriate amount
of hotness in a certain scene and giving me the "GAH" that made me smile
knowingly and move forward.

Please don't forget about the blogsite that I collaborate on. It's the Secret

Twilight Garden. Link is on my profile. We've just completed our first
one-shot contest and it was a lot of fun. Go read the one-shots that were
entered.

Also, you can follow me on Twitter. www (dot) twitter (dot) com /

JuJuRN40 I often post when I'm writing chapters, etc. Also, you can see what
all silly things I have to say about life in general.

Disclaimer: Don't own it. Not making money off it. SM rules.

Edward

- 153 -

My entire body was wracked with a sob as I stood there, unworthy of the love and

affection that was being lavished on me by the beautiful woman standing behind me,
holding me tightly, clinging to me.

"Please don't, Edward, please."

Don't what? Don't cry? Don't feel guilty for being such a shit? Don't think that I

should just send you home because I'm too much of a mess to be able to love you
properly and take care of you in the manner in which you deserve to be cared for?

"I don't deserve you," I choked out, finally.

Bella slid around and ducked her head under my arm, pushing herself between

the sink and me. She reached up and took my head in her hands, bringing my lips
down to meet hers. I closed my eyes and kissed her tenderly. The feel of her lips
against mine caused the darkness in my mind to burst alight with joy and I was
reminded of just how much I really did love her. She stopped kissing me and looked
into my eyes. I looked down at her and could see the concern and love in her
sparkling brown orbs.

"Edward, if you think you don't deserve me, then we are probably the two most

undeserving people on the face of the planet. I don't deserve you either. I don't
deserve Abby. I don't deserve to share in this crazy, yet beautiful lifestyle you have.
The thing is, even though I don't deserve all that, I don't want to let it go just
because of the bullshit in my past, and I don't think you do either."

I shook my head slowly. She was absolutely right. I didn't want to let it go. She

was wrong about not being deserving of everything I had though, because she did
deserve it. She deserved it all, and more.

"Bella, I… I acted like a total and complete asshole today. I melted down and

threw a bitch fit in front of my manager, Rhianne, the record execs. Hell, I walked
right out of that building and didn't give the photographers and fans that were
gathered there the time of day. I disappointed myself with my behavior and lack of
control. I'm embarrassed at how easily Tanya could make me lose it like that."

"Rhianne told me what happened and truthfully I understand. I really do. More

than you can know. My guess is that you haven't let your anger where Tanya is
concerned go, and Edward? That's not good for you and it's not good for Abby. You
need stability in your life. You need someone you can depend on. I've told you. I
want to be that someone. All you have to do is let me. I wanna take care of you,
Edward."

- 154 -

I wrapped my arms around her and kissed the top of her head as I felt her arms

slide around my waist and tighten. She leaned into me and I breathed in the scent of
Bella. She smelled like strawberries and lilacs and freesia. "I love you," I murmured
into her hair. "Thank you for being here today."

I meant it when I said thank you to her. Had she not been there when I awakened,

I probably would have spiraled further down into my funk. I wouldn't have been
determined to get up and face my demons, but with her there telling me and
showing me how much she cared for me, I felt like I could go on and keep fighting. I
felt like I could do what I had to do without falling apart and losing myself in the
process. One thing was certain, Bella's presence grounded me somehow, gave me
something solid to stand on and believe in, and I didn't want to screw that up
because I needed it so very badly.

"Come on. I've got food out here for you and Rhianne is waiting to see you."

She led me out and into the main compartment of the bus where I realized that I

had smelled the food, but at the time, I had been concentrating so hard on so many
other things that it didn't register. Now, the aroma hit me full force and my stomach
growled in appreciation of the home cooked meal that was pulled out of the oven
and placed in front of me.

"Where did you get…?"

"I went shopping," she replied with a smirk.

I took a bite of the wonderful rosemary chicken and it practically melted in my

mouth. I hadn't had a meal like this in a while. She placed a bottle of fancy water in
front of me and ordered me to drink it.

Rhianne walked in and sat down across from me while Bella scooted in next to me.

I looked up at Rhianne and she put her hand up.

"Don't, Edward. I already know you're sorry. Just listen, okay? We have some

damage control to do here."

Rhianne went over the schedule for the next day, which would be the day of the

concert. I would have to attend all the meetings and appearances that I missed after
I had my fit. I would have to apologize to Paul and to the record execs for losing my
temper. I would also have to get in touch with Seth and my attorney to see what the
hell was going on in Chicago. It was stacked up to be a crazy day.

- 155 -

All I wanted to do was spend the day with Bella, but I knew that wasn't happening.

Rhianne already had that covered too. She had planned for us to meet for lunch and
then we would have a couple of hours before the show to hang out. The plans had
been for all of us to stay in a hotel that night, but since I passed out on the bus, we
all decided to stick with the tour busses. Mary and Abby were comfortably set with
their own personal tour bus, the small one that met us in San Francisco. Everything
had been thought of, naturally, because that's what makes Rhianne so good. She
thinks of everything.

"There's one more thing, Edward." Rhianne looked at me, then Bella, then back at

me.

"What?" I was confused. I had no idea what she was talking about.

"Bella's going to need an assistant of her own."

"What? I don't need an assistant, Rhianne. What do you mean?"

"Okay, let me put it this way. I need an assistant. I need to be able to care for both

of you properly, and in order to do that, I need someone to help me. I've never asked
you for anything, Edward, but I'm asking you for this. I need an assistant to help me
with everything. Eventually, Bella's going to need an assistant, whether she thinks
so now or not."

Bella and I regarded each other. I could see panic written all over her face. I

turned back to Rhianne. "If you need help, Rhianne, that's fine. Just tell me what I
need to do to make it happen, but I don't think Bella is ready for her own assistant
just yet. Let's just let this person be your assistant and we can go from there."

"Thank you, Edward. I'll set things in motion to find someone who fits in with our

way of doing things and let you know when I've found the right person, unless you'd
like to conduct the interviews yourself?"

"Hell no. I trust you."

Rhianne smiled. "Thanks. Okay, plan for tonight… Abby's already in bed, so it's too

late to see her. I think you probably need some rest, so there's nothing else unless
you'd like a rehearsal."

"Yeah, rehearsal in, say, forty-five minutes? I'd like to talk to the guys anyway.

There're a couple of things I'd like to change up in the show."

- 156 -

Rhianne took off to get the rehearsal set up and I finished eating the amazing

dinner that Bella had made for me. Rosemary chicken, new potatoes with cream
sauce, fresh steamed vegetables, fresh bread, a great fresh salad with a vinaigrette
dressing, and pumpkin pie with whipped cream for desert. I stared at her.

"Pumpkin pie?"

Bella blushed. "Mary told me it was your favorite."

"Ahhhh, Mary, of course. She used to take almost as much care of me as she did

Abby. My wife was a piece of shit, but you already knew that."

I ate two pieces of pie. And whipped cream. Lots of whipped cream. Then, I

dipped my finger in the whipped cream and spread it on Bella's lips just so I could
lick it off.

"Mmmm, I think I have a new favorite dessert," I said, licking my lips.

"Is that right?"

"Uh huh, it's Bella with whipped cream." I took her in my arms and kissed her

softly. "Thank you, Bella. This was a wonderful meal, the likes of which I haven't had
in I don't know when."

"You're welcome, Edward. You need to eat better. You eat far too much junk food."

She smiled and slid onto my lap, weaving her fingers in my hair. "You can't let Tanya
control you like that anymore. You know that, right?"

I tightened my grip on her but cocked my head to the side. "Control me?"

"Yeah. She who angers you, controls you," she said shrugging. "It's something I

learned during my break up with Mike. I get upset with myself when I let him make
me mad because I know that if he's making me mad, he's controlling me, again. He's
getting exactly what he wants. So, I try to remember that everything he does is in an
attempt to control me and that if I react to it, he's winning."

"How'd you get to be so wise?" I asked her, teasing her with my lips.

We necked for a while, quietly murmuring to one another, but before long, it was

time for me to go to the rehearsal that I had asked for. I sighed when I had to
release her so I could go.

- 157 -

"Can I watch?"

"Sure, Bella. Come on!"

Bella

So, shopping on Rodeo Drive was SO not my thing. I went. Abby and Mary went

with me. Three bodyguards followed us everywhere we went. It sucked ass. I finally
panicked and called Alice to bail me out and said, "Okay, Alice. Need help here. I've
got a fancy black credit card, Edward's daughter, and four hours to spend on Rodeo
Drive. I have no fucking clue what I'm supposed to do here."

Of course, Alice pointed me in the right direction. I bought a pair of shoes, a

couple of handbags, a bunch of clothes for Abby, a couple of outfits for myself, a bag
for Mary, and found a highfalutin grocery store where I bought food to cook for
Edward. His diet of Pop-Tarts, candy bars, and other various junk was getting to me.
There was always perfectly good fruit and raw vegetables available to him in his
dressing rooms at the shows, but he always seemed to gravitate towards the junk.
Pop-Tarts and Toblerone did not a healthy man make. I was determined that I was
going to help him out in the nutrition department.

The good news about the shopping trip was that Abby and I had a great time. She

was able to walk most of the way and she held my hand almost exclusively,
chattering away about everything and nothing the whole day. We ate ice cream
sundaes together and it was then that I glimpsed the "too mature for her age" little
girl again.

"Miss Bella?" she said, with a serious look on her face.

"What is it, Miss Abby?" I didn't know where she got the "Miss" from, but it was

cute.

"You're gonna take care of my daddy, aren't you?"

"Of course I am, Abby. I love your daddy."

"I know, but you're gonna take care of him, right? Daddy's sad sometimes. He

needs you to make him happy all the time again."

This four-year-old was obviously wise for her age. She also listened to and

- 158 -

absorbed everything that was going on around her.

"I know daddy's sad sometimes. Sometimes being a grown up is hard. But, I

promise, I'm going to do my best to make him happy, ok?"

"Okay, Miss Bella."

After that, she went back to eating her ice cream sundae and talking about things

that any other normal four-year-old would talk about. She was an enigma. I'd never
know how she got to be so smart at such a young age other than having to grow up
way too fast.

Apparently, I was news. The damned paparazzi were snapping pictures of us

everywhere we went. Every time I saw some jerk with a camera, I rolled my eyes
and tried to ignore them. It didn't make them go away, but it always seemed like
that was what all the stars did when the candid shots of them were taken when they
were out shopping. I had no idea how to react to such things, so I pretended to know
what I was doing. Fortunately, the three rather large bodyguards with us were
imposing enough that no one approached us.

When we returned to the tour busses ensconced behind Staples Center, Rhianne

met me. She shot a warning look at Mary who immediately took Abby to their bus
for a nap.

"What's wrong, Rhianne?" I asked timidly, knowing something was terribly wrong

by the look on her face.

"It's Edward." Well now, that's just fucking informative, isn't it? "I'm sorry, I would

have called, but I felt it would be better to tell you what happened in person. Let's
go in my bus and have some iced tea, okay?"

I had to admit, now I was worried. She didn't want to call me and she wanted me

to sit down and have tea with her to tell me what happened. I was on pins and
needles as we entered the other bus. A couple of the guys were lounging around
watching television but Rhianne cleared them out. She poured me a glass of tea and
sat down across from me, then clearing her throat, she proceeded to tell me all the
lurid details of what had happened that morning.

To say that I was appalled at Edward's behavior was an understatement. Rhianne

explained the situation to me and I understood his blow up, I understood why he was
angry, I understood the whole thing. What I didn't understand was why he felt the
need to immediately get drunk as hell and start being an asshole to those who cared

- 159 -

about him the most, his mother and Rhianne. Really? What the fuck?

Rhianne and I talked for a couple of hours and I learned a lot more about

Edward's divorce from Tanya and some of the shit she had pulled both on him and
on Abby. I found out that Edward had told me a lot, but not nearly everything.
Rhianne didn't even know all the details.

All I could think about was how all Edward needed was someone just to love him

and not take advantage of him. Tanya had been his high school sweetheart, but with
fame and fortune, she changed. She turned into someone who was power and money
hungry and just wanted to use him for everything that he could give her in a
material way. She didn't love him. I knew then that she could never have loved him
the way I did, because even though I was pissed at him for getting drunk and acting
like an ass, I felt a burning desire to take him in my arms and make it all better.

After our two-hour talk, I headed over to Edward's bus… our bus… to cook him

supper and wait for him to wake up. I took him a glass of water and some Tylenol
and while I was in the bedroom, I unplugged the clock and made sure the blackout
shades were closed to keep out the light. He was sleeping hard, not even moving. I
sat on the edge of the bed for a bit and watched him sleep, loving him more every
moment I was there.

Later that evening, we went over to the Staples Center for his rehearsal. Sitting

out front and watching Edward and the guys work up their show was great. It was a
completely different take on things than being backstage. I wondered idly if it would
be possible for me to be in the audience for a show, but realized it wouldn't work
now that we had gone public.

After rehearsal, Edward and I went to bed. We talked while holding hands across

the bed for a long time and it felt so nice. Later on, we cuddled up together.
Edward's hands were roaming over my body and I felt electricity coursing through
my veins from his touch. His hand brushed across my breast and I felt my nipple
pebble instantly and wondered if he had felt it. He leaned over and crashed his lips
against mine hungrily, running his tongue over my lips.

"Bella," he breathed.

"Yes, Edward?" I panted back.

"I want you so badly."

"Mmmm, me too."

- 160 -

"Why is it again that we haven't… explored more?"

"Because we just met."

"Oh, that's right."

His lips had continued their assault across my jaw, behind my ear, down my

throat… across my collarbone…

"Edward?"

"Hmmmm?" He didn't stop; in fact, he had pushed his hands up under my shirt

and was moving in towards second base. I found that my body was reacting, but
there was a part of my mind that was screaming at me to stop.

Edward's hand met the flesh of my breast and his fingers brushed along the curve

on the underside causing my entire body to flush in reaction. He leaned up and
softly pressed his lips to mine as his thumb glanced across my hardened peak. I
shuddered as his fingers gently pressed my flesh, kneaded and stroked my sensitive
skin. It was like nothing I had ever felt before. His long fingers and strong hands felt
exquisite against my skin and I pressed my body into his.

Edward's lips moved gently, but insistently, against mine while his tongue

caressed my mouth, moving against my tongue as they intertwined. The words I had
thought to speak were lost to me as I let my entire being be sucked into the ecstasy
of Edward's mouth and hands on my body.

His lips moved across my jawline as his thumb and forefinger found the peak of

my breast and squeezed it gently, rolling it between his fingers. I sighed and a
shudder passed through me.

"You're so beautiful, Bella," he whispered in my ear before lightly kissing and

sucking on the hollow behind it. I closed my eyes and let the sensations of his skin
against mine take me away. His lips slowly made their way down my neck while he
pushed my shirt up and moved his lips down to take the stiff peak of my breast in his
mouth. I felt his tongue flick across my nipple and I sucked in a breath. The
sensation was enhanced by the fact that the electricity from his tongue ran all the
way through my body, amassing in my core.

Edward's hand left my other breast and traveled downward across my belly,

caressing my skin the entire time. His mouth remained firmly planted on my breast
and he nipped and nibbled on my peak while his hand inched lower and lower until

- 161 -

he was at the waistband of my sleep shorts. Involuntarily, my body thrust towards
him, needing him to keep going, wanting his touch, longing for the friction I so
desperately needed. I moaned aloud.

I felt his hand, warm and insistent, on the outside of my shorts, pressed against

my mound and I bucked against it. "Oh, Bella… Fuck." He leaned up and planted his
lips on mine as his body rolled partially on top of me. His hand was pressing against
my core and touching all the right places. I found myself wanting to be rid of my
shorts. It didn't matter. He pulled his hand up and gently slid it beneath the
waistband. He stopped and continued to kiss me as though waiting for a signal from
me that it was okay to continue. I suppose that my fingers intertwined in his hair
and pulling while I moaned into his kiss were signal enough and I felt his fingers
slide down the cleft between my legs. I threw my leg up over his hip and ground my
heel into his ass, urging him on.

When I felt one finger slide into me, I moaned loudly. He had the most beautiful,

long fingers and Jesus Christ that one finger in me felt so fucking good. His thumb
started making circles across my clit as he finger fucked me with one, and then two
fingers. I could no longer remember why we were waiting. All I could feel was the
pleasure and sublime friction against parts of me that had never been touched with
as much loving devotion as they were being touched at that moment.

He used his hand expertly and before I could even think about what was

happening, he brought me off. The orgasm I had from just his fingers inside me and
his thumb on my clit was astounding. I lay there panting as he kissed me and moved
my damp hair off my forehead.

"You're fucking amazing when you come, Isabella."

He'd never used my full name before and I looked up at him with surprise. Rather

than questioning him, I simply said, "Why don't you let me return the favor, Mr.
Velvet."

His expression changed infinitesimally, but I saw it. He broke into a smile and

then looked sheepish. "I'm sorry, I was pushing…"

"Are you kidding? You're sorry? For that? Edward, that was the best orgasm I've

ever had. Ever. Don't ever be fucking sorry for that! Now, are you gonna let me
return the favor, or not?"

He kissed me and said, "Nope. It was all about you."

- 162 -

I tried. He denied me. Something about getting carried away and shouldn't have

and wasn't letting me and… I don't know. The bottom line is he didn't let me return
the favor that night.

I awakened the next morning feeling both closer to Edward and father away. I was

terrified that I had let him go to far and screwed up everything. My fears were
unfounded because just after I had begun to stretch and move around, Edward
showed up in the bedroom with coffee and fruit for me. We sat and talked a few
minutes while we drank coffee and ate the fruit. Soon, Edward had to leave and go
to all those meetings and appearances he had missed the day before.

I spent most of the morning that morning alone. I sat with a legal pad and pen

writing down my thoughts and feelings. I was worried, for some stupid assed reason,
about why I was there with Edward. Was it the fame? The money? Was I using him?
Was he using me? Of course, I found all of my worries to be hogwash. I loved
Edward. I loved each part of him. I loved EC Velvet, I loved Edward, I loved Abby,
and I was right where I wanted to be. With all that cleared up, I prepared to go to
lunch with Edward that day and I was a woman of new found determination. A
woman who wouldn't let anyone or anything come between me and the man I loved.
I wasn't scared. I wasn't timid. I didn't care about the photographers or the press.
All I cared about from that moment on was taking care of Edward and Abby and
making their lives as easy and normal as possible. Of course, that's when the real
trouble started.

End Note: Since Bella and Edward are lolly-gagging around in LA, I'm

going to list the next several dates of the tour so you ladies can get your VIP
passes ahead of time and be waiting in line to get in. Maybe you'll win a
meet & greet... you just never know! Of course, the price of a VIP pass to an
EC Velvet concert is a review so clicky on the button and show us the love!
Edward, Bella, and I are waiting!

San Diego

Phoenix

Las Vegas

Denver

Dallas/Ft. Worth

- 163 -

Houston

New Orleans

Shreveport

Oklahoma City

Little Rock

- 164 -

Superstar

A/N As promised, new chapter came out quicker than the last! Yay!

Edward totally cooperated with me this time. Maybe it's because I let him
get his fingers sticky… hee hee. Ahem… sorry, I was daydreaming there for a
minute. Anyway, please remember that the tour cities I gave in the last End
Note were not all inclusive, they were just the next FEW. This is a worldwide
tour, people. We're going EVERYWHERE. :)

My thanks to Miss Lillie Cullen for being a wonderful friend and beta who

listens to all of my whining and loves me anyway. She also makes sure that
my chapters don't suck so we should all bow down and worship her just like
she deserves.

My thanks also to Miss Lillie Cullen for finding me an awesome chapter

theme song. Superstar ~ Usher. Loves you H&R Lil!

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer is the lucky bitch that owns Twilight. Unfortunately,

I'm the unlucky bitch who is owned by Edward. Okay, so maybe that's not so
unlucky… I also don't own Usher or the song Superstar, or the lyrics to the song
Superstar.

Superstar ~ Usher

This is for you, my number one

Spotlights, big stage

Fifty thousand fans screamin' in a rage

Bodyguards and limousines

This is the way I see you in my dreams

Paparazzi flash, hundred pictures all of you

Hangin' on my bedroom wall

I'm a kid again, I feel like thirteen

- 165 -

But I knew since we fell in love

Girl I'd be

I'll be your groupie baby

Cuz you are my superstar

I'm your number one fan, give me your autograph

Sign it right here on my heart

Girl I'll be your groupie baby

Cuz you are my superstar

And as your number one fan

I'll do all that I can

To show you how super you are

Front row, there I am

Jumpin' and hollerin' waving both hands

Would you notice me, Little me

Drove twelve hours girl just to see

Your pretty face one more time

Bought my ticket I was first in line

This is a metaphor to show how I adore you

Baby I do

Now you know how I feel

You're truly special

- 166 -

Your love is legendary to me

Without you my life stands still

I'll never leave your world

Treat you like a diva girl

Girl you're one of a kind

Cuz they don't make 'em like you anymore

So I'll be your fan for life

I dedicate this to my superstar for all time.

Edward

Going back to the record label was humbling at best. I walked into the room with

the execs and shook each of their hands in turn, apologizing for my outburst the
prior day. I was pretty fuckin' embarrassed about it, even if they were a bunch of
self-righteous assholes who didn't deserve my apologies.

Paul was a different story. He showed up to the meeting late after I had already

apologized to everyone there. When he walked in, he regarded me briefly and
nodded his head towards me, then proceeded to sit down at the table across from
me. I glared at him for a minute or two while I listened to the execs spew their
bullshit. He looked uncomfortable with my eyes on him. Good. Fucker could rot in
hell as far as I was concerned.

Naturally, my predictions for the reasoning behind the big meeting were correct.

They wanted me to sign a new contract. Paul even went so far as to try to shove the
fucking thing down my throat.

"Edward, come on, you know this is the right thing to do. This label has always

done right by you. You should go ahead and sign. It's a great contract, much better
than the last one."

"I'm not signing it. Look, I realize that you guys would like to hold on to me. I'm

probably your biggest earner. Okay, I know I'm your biggest earner, but I have to
look out for myself. I have the potential to do so much more if I have my own label. I
don't want anyone to feel like I'm putting the screws to them, but I'm ready to go out

- 167 -

on my own. Four years of this is enough. When this contract ends, I want it to do
just that. End. I want to be my own boss. I don't want to have to kiss anyone's ass
anymore." I looked right at Paul on the ending statement to make sure he
understood that this meant his shitty contract, too. He was living fat and sassy off
the 20% he was getting off me. If he wasn't willing to renegotiate his contract with
me at the end of its term, in six months, he wasn't going to be living off the EC
Velvet cash cow anymore.

"Where are you going to find your booking agents and promoters if you don't have

us?" Paul asked angrily.

"Do you think I'm stupid, Paul?" I tried to hold my anger and my tongue, but I

could suddenly feel the anger bubbling up in me like a volcano on the verge of a
cataclysmic eruption. "I haven't sat back and just let you do everything for me. I've
taken the initiative to figure out some things on my own, you know."

"Have you been making deals behind my back?" he yelled, leaning forward.

I stood and glared at him across the table. "No, Paul. I haven't made any deals

behind your back, but believe you me, if I knew it wouldn't be a breach of my
contract with you, I would've. I could've made some pretty fucking sweet deals
without you. Where're the endorsements you promised me? What about the
merchandising? You could've done a better job, you know? Poor Rhianne is supposed
to be my personal assistant, but she finds herself in the position of Road Manager
every time we go on tour because you're too fucking cheap to insist that the label
get me someone else to take the pressure off her."

I looked over at the record execs who were all sitting back in their chairs

watching the fireworks for the second day in a row. Fortunately, I was keeping my
voice down. Of course, anyone who knew me well knew that when I wasn't yelling
was when you should watch the hell out because I could be fairly vicious and the
lower my voice got and the harder you had to pay attention to hear me, the madder I
was.

"Speaking of which, Rhianne either needs someone to take over as Road Manager

or she needs an assistant. She can't keep up with it all. Someone in this room needs
to fix that. Now."

Paul finally stood up and started around the table towards me. I crossed my arms

and stared him down as he stepped dangerously near me.

"Edward, you've got a lot of goddamned demands all of a sudden. What the hell is

- 168 -

wrong with you?" he shouted.

"There's nothing wrong with me. I simply want the things I deserve. If you can't do

it, perhaps I should buy out your contract and find someone who can. Let's see, six
months. I'm not planning on putting out another album in the next six months, so it
should be fairly simple to figure out what it would take to buy you out. Rhianne?"

"On it, Edward," she answered quickly while tapping away at her laptop keys.

I turned back to the record execs. "Listen, I want my own label, but nobody's

mentioned the fact that I could have my own label under your company. As soon as
the tour is winding down, I'll have someone get with you to see if you're interested
in making my label one of your subsidiaries. I'm not dumb, I know that I need to be
affiliated with one of the "Big Four" to do anything. It would be prudent of me to
remain involved with the one who's been with me from the beginning, right?"

The president of the record company stood and walked over to me. He reached his

hand out to shake mine. "I believe that's a very smart decision on your part, Edward.
We'd be happy to look over your prospectus and see what we can do to strike a deal.
In the meantime, go enjoy your tour and we'll make sure you have a proper Road
Manager before the week is out." He nodded towards Paul and continued, "Is there
anything else we can do to help you out today?"

"Nah, man, I'm good." I shook each of the record exec's hands again and started

out the door. Rhianne slammed her laptop shut and followed me. Paul stood in the
middle of the room looking quite confused. Rhianne and I were waiting for the
elevator when he finally caught up to us.

"Look, Edward, I'm sorry. Let's, uh, have lunch and try to hash out some of our

differences. I'm pretty sure we can make this arrangement work. I'll even
renegotiate your contract now, if you like. It's not unheard of, you know."

My bodyguards tried to step between him and me, but I pushed them out of the

way. "You're groveling now? Is that it?"

"No, I'm not groveling, I just realize that maybe I haven't been giving you the

attention you deserve."

We all stepped on the elevator together. "Really, Paul? Is that what you think?

When we get downstairs I wanna show you something and then we'll talk." He
started to speak but I held up my hand to shut him up.

- 169 -

When we stepped off the elevator and out the front door of the building, there was

a throng of photographers, reporters, and fans lining the sidewalk. I waved at them
all, shook hands with several fans, granted a few autographs, put my arm around a
few and posed for pictures, answered a few questions, smiled for the paparazzi, and
when I was done, I stepped into my limo giving them all one last wave and smile
before disappearing inside. Rhianne and Paul had already climbed inside and Paul
was already holding a glass of scotch on the rocks in one hand, a big cigar in the
other.

"Don't light that in my fucking limo," I grouched at him. He looked at the cigar

and stuffed it in the pocket of his suit jacket. "You know I hate your goddamn
stogies."

"I'm sorry, Edward. Force of habit."

"I don't care. Did you see that? Did you see all those fuckin' people out there?

Were they there to see you, Paul? Were they?"

"No. They were there to see you."

"Fuckin' A right, they were there to see me. They don't even fuckin' know who you

are, nor do they give a shit who you are. I want you to get one thing straight. Are
you listening?" He nodded his head, nervously taking a drink from his glass. "I'm.
Not. Renegotiating. My. Contract. With. YOU."

He sat quietly for a moment and then opened his mouth to speak. I held up my

hand again. "There's nothing you can say that's going to change my mind. I'll finish
out this contract with you, because that's the kind of guy I am, even though I know
that Rhianne knows exactly how much it would cost to buy you out right now,
because that's the kind of woman she is. However, I will be looking for a new
manager. Know that. Also, during the next six months, I expect you to earn your
20% and not just sit back and collect it. It's the only chance you have of redeeming
yourself so that I don't make sure you get blacklisted in the music business, got it?"

Paul nodded his head, took another sip of his scotch, and stared out the window. I

felt relieved that it was over and picked up my phone to make some phone calls
while we made the drive across town to the radio station I was appearing on.

I spoke first to my attorney back in Chicago. It seemed that Tan-ho was still in jail.

Good. He had made some motions on my behalf that she not be allowed bail, which
the judge accepted. She was now being held without bond. That was the best news
of the day. He had also made a motion requesting that she be required to go to

- 170 -

rehab as part of her sentence. She hadn't gone to trial yet, only an arraignment, so
we didn't know yet whether that was going to be accepted by the judge, but the
attorney felt pretty confident that the judge would insist upon it even if we didn't
make the motion. He had also been in contact with Seth who had handed all of his
evidence over and had been super-cooperative, just how I knew he would be.

Next, I called my mother. That was a conversation I wasn't looking forward to, but

knew I had to make.

"Hey, Mom."

"Hello, Edward. Are you doing better today?"

"Yeah, actually. Hey, I just wanted to apologize for…"

"No apology necessary, Edward. Just don't drunk dial me anymore, please."

I stifled a chuckle. "I'm sorry, Mom. I won't. How's Dad?"

"He's here. Would you like to speak to him?" My mom was still pissed off at me. I

could always tell. She'd get over it, but it would take her a while.

"Yeah, I'd love to. Love you, Mom."

"I love you, too, Edward. Take care of Abby."

"I will"

"I know you will," she said before handing the phone to Carlisle.

"Having a rough go of it on the road, Son?"

"Nah, just a bad day yesterday, Dad. How are things?"

"Well, better now that Tanya is in jail. What on earth are you going to do about

her? She's a complete mess, Edward. She has no business anywhere near Abigail."

"I know that, Dad. The attorney's working on it. Really. She's being held without

bond thanks to my attorney so she's not coming out anytime soon."

"Do you have to bring Abigail home to visit her if she's still in jail?"

- 171 -

"You know, I didn't ask that, but I don't think so. I'd refuse anyway. Abby doesn't

need to see her mother behind bars. She's been through enough. Besides, she's
having a great time on the road."

"Is she getting enough rest?"

"Yes, Dad. She has her own coach with Mary. Yesterday she went shopping with

Bella in LA. When we get to San Diego, we're going to the zoo. She's maintaining
her schedule of sleep and everything is fine. At least she's eating meals now and not
chips for supper."

"You've always been a good father, Edward. I'm proud of you for that. Make sure

your drinking doesn't interfere with that."

It hit me hard when my dad said that. I knew better than to be around Abigail

when I was drinking, but Carlisle telling me he was proud of me for being a good
father, and then interjecting the part about my drinking, it cut me to the core. "I
promise, Dad. It was just a bad day. I didn't handle it well. Drinking in that frame of
mind was the last thing I should have done and I hurt a lot of people with my actions
yesterday. It won't happen again, okay?"

"I trust you, Son. Now, I've got to get to the hospital. Did you want to talk to Mom

again?"

"No, I think she's still pissed off at me."

He actually chuckled before saying, "Yeah, just a little. Maybe another day then?"

"Yeah, another day."

We said our goodbyes and I hung up as we arrived at the radio station. I did my

thing there, and then it was time to meet Bella for lunch. We had a nice romantic
lunch at a cozy restaurant on the beach. It had been closed down just for us to have
lunch, which had really surprised Bella. I updated her on my morning's activities
and she threw her arms around me. "I'm so proud of you, Edward."

I laughed and hugged her back. After lunch was over, we prepared to go our

separate ways as I had an interview to attend before I could go back to spending
time with Bella and Abby. As she started to leave, I held onto her hand. I didn't want
her to go. "Bella, do you want to go with me?"

"If you want me to; all you have to do is ask."

- 172 -

"Come, please?" She smiled and nodded and we were off.

I knew, at some point during the day, Bella and I would have to broach the subject

of what happened the night before in bed. She had taken me utterly by surprise
when she called me 'Mr. Velvet' and it wasn't until then that I realized that she
knew, at all times, exactly where and who I was within myself, even if I had deluded
myself into believing that Bella had contained my Velvet side and sent it away.

We talked about other things on the way to my interview, successfully avoiding

discussing what had occurred in our bed the night before in front of Rhianne, the
bodyguards, and Paul, who was still tagging along for some reason. It was the most
time he'd spent with me in a year.

During my interview taping, Bella sat behind the scenes watching everything with

great interest. Rhianne sat with her and explained things to her so she would know
what was going on. I was being interviewed for a DVD that would come out after the
tour was over so it wasn't like it was going to be televised tomorrow or anything.
When we were almost done, the interviewer finally asked me to talk about my
personal life. I talked briefly about Abby, having custody of her, and having her on
tour, and then I said, "But, I don't suppose my daughter is who you're really asking
about."

The interviewer laughed and said, "Well, no, I was more interested in the young

lady sitting over here behind the scenes."

I grinned over at Bella and motioned for her to join me on the set. At first, she

shook her head, but then I saw Rhianne lean over and whisper something in her ear.
She nodded, looked reluctantly at Rhianne, stood, and made her way over to me. I
immediately pulled her into my lap and kissed her temple.

"This is my girlfriend, Bella. She's the one holding me together these days."

"Hi, Bella!" the interviewer said, reaching out to shake her hand. Bella shook it

and I stroked her back to try to slow down the trembling.

"Hi," Bella answered, her voice trembling as much as her body was.

The interviewer turned her complete attention to Bella for a few minutes and I

knew it was scaring the ever-lovin' shit out of her, but she did a great job. When the
question of "How did the two of you meet?" came along. Bella looked over at me and
giggled nervously. I decided to bail her out.

- 173 -

"The story of how Bella and I met is a long one that nobody would believe if we

told it right now. I think we'll save that for a later time."

We wrapped up the interview and stood around talking to the director,

interviewer, Paul, Rhianne, and some of the crew for several minutes. They all
wanted to meet Bella. In fact, the director told her that he was really glad that I had
met her because he'd never seen me look so relaxed. Huh. It kind of amazed me that
someone else noticed that.

When we were finally done for the day, we headed back to Staples Center and to

the buses. We played with Abby for a couple of hours and had a ball. I loved
watching her interact with Bella. She was so comfortable with Bella and had
seemingly accepted her into her life as though she would be there forever, which is
exactly what I hoped for -- that Bella would be there forever. Through our letters,
emails, phone calls, and finally meeting, I had become so attached and so dependent
on Bella that I really couldn't imagine my life without her. In fact, she was my life.

I watched Bella and Abby playing hopscotch on the pavement and hopped in the

bus to grab a camera. I took several snapshots of them together and found it very
satisfying to take pictures of the two of them. Rhianne came around the corner with
a big box in her arms.

"Hey, Edward. Can I talk to Bella for a minute?"

"Of course you can. Hey, babe, can you come here for a sec?"

Bella took Abby's hand and they skipped over to where we stood, jumping on both

feet to stop right next to me. We were all laughing. It felt fucking GREAT.

"Here, Bella, I have something for you," Rhianne said, handing Bella the box.

Bella's eyes were wide and she looked at me before setting it on the table. I nodded
at her to go ahead and open it. I watched with delight as Bella carefully opened the
box that contained a new Pearl Adamo laptop by Dell with all the bells and whistles.

"Oh my… Rhianne? Edward? This is for me?" she squeaked.

Rhianne smiled and patted me on the shoulder. "Yes, Bella. We knew you left your

laptop at home, thinking you wouldn't be gone long, yet here you are. Edward said it
was a couple of years old and instructed me to order you a new one, even before we
knew you'd be coming with us, so here it is. It finally caught up with us. Enjoy!"
Rhianne left us there and Bella was like a kid at Christmas looking through the box
with all the accessories and documentation for the new computer.

- 174 -

"You told her to order me this… the day we met?"

"Well, when I was in your bedroom last Saturday and saw your laptop. I wanted to

make sure you had a reliable computer to talk to me while I was on tour that had a
built in web-cam, but now it seems you need a reliable computer to keep in touch
with your friends and family while you're on tour. Keep looking, there's more in the
box."

It was a good-sized box and I knew that it contained a portable printer and a

digital camera, somewhere in the depths. Bella finally found those things and was
giddy as a schoolgirl. She threw her arms around me placing tiny kisses all over my
face. She became suddenly serious and leaned back to look into my eyes. "You know
you don't have to lavish me with gifts, Edward, right? I'm not here because of your
money."

"I know that, and that's why I want to spend it on you. You're always so grateful

and excited about it. You don't expect it. I enjoy buying you things, baby." I kissed
her forehead and she hugged me tight. Abby was excited about the new computer,
too.

"Can I play on it?" she asked me hopefully.

"You'll have to ask Bella, baby."

"Bella?" I chuckled at Abby's doe eyes that she gave Bella and waited for Bella's

response. Bella kneeled next to Abby to get down on her level. I always appreciated
that about Bella. She never talked down to Abby.

"You may play on it only when I'm with you, okay? Deal?"

"Deal!" Abby squealed and threw her arms around Bella. Bella stood up holding

Abby who wrapped herself around Bella and laid her head on Bella's shoulder.
"Could you be my mommy?" she asked softly.

Bella's eyes held panic in them as she looked at me. I walked over and took Abby

from Bella's arms and sat down with her in my lap. I brushed her curly blonde hair
back from her face and tucked it behind her ear. "Bella can't be your mommy
because you already have one, Abby, but Bella can be sort of like another mommy to
you if you want. Don't you think that would be better?"

Abby played with the platinum chain on my neck as she often did when we were

talking. "Like Mary is like another mommy?"

- 175 -

"Yeah, sort of like that."

"Can I call Bella 'Mommy'?"

Bella was sitting next to us now and I looked to her. She shrugged and said, "You

can call me whatever you'd like to, Abby. I promise I'll always answer you, okay?"

Abby smiled and continued to play with my chain. I knew she was thinking things

over. She remained quiet, so Bella and I continued to talk. My phone buzzed with a
text message and I fished it out to look at it.

U have 90 min b4 u have 2 b ready. Want dinner? – R.

I texted back, Order pizza for evrybdy – E.

We played with Abby while we waited for the pizza. She didn't say anything more

about wanting Bella to be her mommy and continued to call Bella by her name. I was
curious about what was going through her little mind, but knew that if Abby wanted
to talk about it more, she'd let me know.

After dinner, Mary took Abby, and Bella and I went to our bus to get ready for the

concert. Bella was in the bathroom putting makeup on so I slid in behind her and put
my arms around her waist.

"Hi, sexy lady." She giggled.

"Hi. Are you already done?"

"Nah, I've got about an hour's worth of work to do on my hair." Bella burst into

full laughter. She looked into the mirror at me standing behind her.

"What kind of work are you talking about?" she asked with a smirk.

I grinned at her. "Oh, I think we could figure something out." She giggled again.

"Cullen, your hair always looks like you've got the 'freshly fucked' look going on. If

you need an hour's work on it before the show, let me be the first to stand in line to
give you a hand." She then blushed, and so did I.

She was finished with her makeup and looked absolutely fucking gorgeous. We

vacated the bathroom and I handed my cell to her to hang on to during the show for
me. Then, I sat down on the edge of the bed and patted my knee. She crawled on my

- 176 -

lap and put her arms around me. "What's up, Edward? You're lookin' all serious."

"I wanted to apologize for last night… if I… went too far." I felt the heat in my

cheeks when I said it. Since when do I fucking BLUSH when I'm talking about sex?
Apparently, I wasn't the only one because Bella flushed a beautiful shade of pink
herself.

"You and I both know that it's going to happen eventually. I didn't mind. If I would

have minded, I would have tried harder to stop you. We're just both afraid to
complicate what we have with… sex. I think we both feel the desire for one another's
bodies." Bella looked like she'd rather crawl in a hole and die than have this
conversation with me. I tended to agree with her, somewhat, but I had to know.

"So, you, um, feel it… too?"

She looked down and then back up at me through her thick eyelashes. "Yes,

Edward. I probably want you as much or more than you want me."

"Really?" Fuck me! She's really going to talk to me about this!

"Yes." Giggling ensued.

"Okay, well, you're right. I'm afraid of complicating things. I love the friendship

we share, and I love you so much, Bella. I don't want to fuck it up by pushing you
into something you're not ready for too soon. And… you know, when you called me
'Mr. Velvet' I was afraid that you thought that I was acting on impulses that come
from my dark side. I love you, I want you, and I want you to know that you have all
of me, not just 'Mr. Velvet." But Jesus Christ I hope you give me the green light…

"Edward, I was teasing you when I called you Mr. Velvet, but I know that when

you let that part of you in, you have more confidence than you do normally. It's not
like you have split personalities, it's just that when you are playing each role, you
express the features of whoever you're playing and suppress those of whom you're
not. All of those characteristics are a part of the whole you. You just tend to not let
them all come together very often. How about if we just let things happen as they
may and not worry about it so much?"

Is that the green light? Fuck. What did she say? "Uh, sounds like a plan. And

thank you, for knowing the real me."

"You're welcome, but you don't sound convinced."

- 177 -

"I was hoping for some… guidance."

"Okay, how about this. I'm ready. Right now."

WHAT?! HOLYFUCKINGSHIT SHE GAVE ME THE GREEN LIGHT! "You're not

serious."

"As a heart attack."

"No, you're not."

"Am too."

"Are not."

We both sat there staring at each other for a minute and then we both burst into

uncontrollable laughter, that is until she pushed me backwards and straddled my
chest. She fisted her hands in my hair and leaned in to kiss me and holy fuck. I think
that the earth may have tilted on its axis a bit because that was the most amazing
fucking kiss ever in the history of kisses. It was more than amazing. It was…
un-fucking-believable! It was the kiss to end all kisses. There isn't a man alive who
has ever been kissed like that before or since. It was like… our very souls were
kissing each other. When she released my lips and stared at me, I could see that she
had felt it, too. Finally, she broke the silence.

"Time to go to work, Edward."

"Can't I just stay here in bed, with you, for-fucking-ever?" More giggling. God… I

love that sound. It's SO much better in person that it is on the phone.

"Nope. You gotta go make some money!" she replied with a smirk a mile wide.

Needless to say, she was kidding, but it began a banter that continued forever.

Staying in bed together for-fucking-ever is the only thing we ever wanted to do from
then on.

I tickled her to get her off me and then pulled her off the bed and we headed out

for the show feeling even more connected than we already did. Whatever shit might
have been waiting in the wings to come our way could come, because we knew that
we'd face it together. As I walked on stage that night, I kissed her hand, winked at
her, and took the first steps of the rest of my life, knowing that everything was going
to be just fine.

- 178 -

After the show, we headed for San Diego, both too tired for anything but sleep.

We had a big day planned the next day because we planned to take Abby to the San
Diego Zoo. It was a complicated event for us to get out in the public and do
something like that, but I knew that Rhianne had it all handled. It was gonna be
great, and such a 'family' thing to do. I couldn't wait and I dreamed about it all
night.

End Note: OK! Review, review, review... I'm like a crack-whore, only I

NEED reviews to get my fix!

Also, please remember that it's Thursday and B/E just met on Saturday,

which is why I'm cockblocking Edward.

San Diego here we come! See all you San Diego Vixens at the Cricket

Wireless Amphitheatre! Lillie, Lea, Amy, Militza, Tammy, and I will be in the
Scooby-mobile!

Follow me on Twitter. www (dot) twitter (dot) com/JuJuRN40

- 179 -

Sacrifice

A/N Okay, I just need to make an announcement before I move on. I've

placed myself on the auction block for Support Stacie. The auction is from
Sept 11-14 so I expect to be bid on. :) PLEASE!!! LOL Details are available
on my profile.

Miss Lillie is the most amazing friend and beta in the universe. Seriously,

thank you for backing me off the ledge several times this week and putting
my insecurities to rest. It's good to know that there's someone out there who
cares enough to listen to all of my whining and insecurity and then tell me
to buck up because I'm full of shit. I love you, darlin'. H&R.

Thank you to all of my amazing readers and reviewers! We've topped 1,000

reviews and are still going up. That's just freaking awesome! I know I
haven't answered them all yet, but I felt my time was better spent writing
because things are starting to roll for these two crazy kids.

Disclaimer: SM is the goddess of all things Twilight. I'm green with envy.

Bella

I was pretty sure that Edward had lost his fucking mind the next morning. We had

arrived in San Diego. It was a beautiful Friday morning. The sun was shining, the
sky was blue, and we were planning on going to the San Diego Zoo that day with
Abby.

Edward came into the bedroom carrying a cup of coffee as soon as I awakened. I

stretched and sat up before taking the coffee cup from his hand.

"Good morning, babe." He kissed the top of my head and slid his hand in behind

my hair, caressing my neck.

"Good morning," I smiled back at him, taking a sip of the hot coffee.

"We're all checked in," he said as he sat on the side of the bed and put his hand on

my thigh, effectively sending jolts of desire up my leg and into the pit of my
stomach.

"Checked in?" I asked in confusion. "Checked in where?"

- 180 -

Edward chuckled and ran his fingers though his hair, which completely distracted

me. Apparently, I was just horny as fuck and couldn't think straight that morning.
"The hotel. We're staying in a hotel here in San Diego, baby. The buses are going to
meet us in Albuquerque after we fly in for the Phoenix and Vegas shows."

"Oh." I felt like a total idiot. Apparently, I hadn't paid attention to my last briefing

with Rhianne. I was going to have to start keeping an appointment book or a
calendar on my new computer or something just so I could keep up with all the
arrangements and know what was going on. My phone buzzed and I reached for it.
Edward's buzzed at the same time. It was a text from Rhianne.

Make sure you take what you need to the hotel. No access to the buses for a few

days. –R

The limousine dropped us off at the hotel and we had a beautiful suite that opened

out onto the beach. It was amazing. It was a large, two-bedroom suite that we were
to share with Abby and Mary. I was a little concerned that Abby shouldn't know that
we were sleeping in the same bed, but Edward assured me that it would be fine so I
trusted him.

We were busily getting settled and I was in the bathroom trying to do something

with my stupid hair when Edward walked into the bedroom and I heard him chuckle.
I stepped out of the bathroom to see what was going on and noticed he had laid
some clothes out, complete with a blonde wig, sunglasses, and a baseball cap.

"What's that for?"

"It's your disguise for the day!" he announced proudly. I snickered.

"My what?"

He looked at me, totally serious, and said, "Your disguise, Bella, for the zoo."

I looked at the bed. Jeans, t-shirt, Keds, blonde wig, baseball cap, and impossibly

large sunglasses. A blonde wig? Really? Seriously? I stifled a giggle. "Um, where did
you get that stuff?"

He looked a little hurt when he said, "Did I not do alright?"

"No, no, no, you did just fine, Edward. I just wondered where you got the stuff is

all." I shrugged to throw him off the scent of my amusement at his choices.

- 181 -

"I've got my sources," he said smugly.

"What are you wearing?" He lifted the sack that he was holding in his other hand,

unnoticed by me up until that point, and opened it. He started pulling items out of it
and I clapped my hand over my mouth to keep from just cracking right the hell up.
Blue jeans, white t-shirt, non-descript athletic shoes, hair gel, a San Diego Padres
baseball cap, and a pair of aviator sunglasses. He looked so fucking smug; I could
hardly stand to burst his bubble.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing," I said, and then cleared my throat. "These are our disguises for the

day, huh?" He nodded and stared at me as though I was the one who had lost my
mind. "Edward?"

"What?" He sounded… irritated.

"What's Abby going to wear?"

"Mary has her all squared away, Bella. Believe it or not, we have actually done this

before." I raised my eyebrows and then blinked, wondering what kind of fools we
were going to look like. I knew, however, that Edward was annoyed with my lack of
confidence, so I put on my big girl panties and decided to put my faith in him.

"I trust you." I grabbed my 'disguise' and took it in the bathroom to get dressed. I

put on my 'non-descript' disguise and started fooling around with the wig. I looked
like a complete moron, but kept my mouth shut as long as I could. I tried the wig
every which way. Every time I moved even a strand of the hair around, I looked
stupider. In exasperation, I finally walked out of the bathroom. "Edward," I whined,
"this looks dumb."

Edward turned to look at me and chuckled. He strode across the floor and took my

face in his hands, tenderly kissing me. "Bella, you look beautiful no matter what
you're wearing." He fingered a few strands of the blonde hair and tucked it behind
my ear, just like he did my own hair.

"Do I really have to wear this wig?"

"Please trust me on this. Yes. You have to wear the wig."

I huffed and crammed the hat on my head. Edward chuckled again while he

helped me adjust it. He took the sunglasses out of my hand and carefully placed

- 182 -

them on my face. I looked up at him exasperated. "I feel stupid."

"Don't."

He put his hat on and when he did, I noticed that he had put the hair gel in his

hair and made it lay down. I almost laughed again. Edward just didn't look right
without his normal messy 'do. He grabbed my hand and led me out of the bedroom
into the living area of the suite. Abby and Mary's bedroom door was still closed so I
took off my sunglasses and looked around. On the table was a stack of magazines
and newspapers. Rhianne was sitting there quietly looking through them. I walked
over to peek over her shoulder, and there, on the pages of some teen magazine, was
my face. I was horrified.

I pointed at the picture and said, "What the hell is that?"

Rhianne looked up at me calmly, then started flipping the pages. There were

pictures of me shopping with Abby, pictures of me with Edward, pictures of me
backstage at Edward's concerts, pictures of me getting on and off the tour bus. With
each magazine, it just got worse and worse. I was stunned. I turned to Edward who
was now standing beside me and just stared.

"This is why you need the disguise, Bella," he said softly. "Welcome to my life. I'm

sorry."

As his words registered in my mind, I realized that he was afraid. He was afraid

that the pictures were going to freak me out and I wouldn't want to be with him
because of them. He was afraid that I was going to leave. I reached out and grabbed
his hand, squeezing it as hard as I could. "You don't have anything to be sorry about,
Edward. Shit happens." I picked up a lock of the blonde hair that was cascading over
my shoulders and making my head itch.

Rhianne giggled and Edward chuckled. We all three looked at each other and

started laughing. Abby's bedroom door opened and she walked out in… you guessed
it… jeans, t-shirt, Keds, pink baseball cap, and sunglasses. We all just laughed
harder. As we walked out the door, I turned to Rhianne and said, "I'm going to be
putting together a scrapbook. Can you see that those pictures get put somewhere
where I can use them?"

Rhianne smiled a wide smile and said, "You got it, Bella."

We drove to the zoo in a POS rented Ford Taurus. I wished at that moment, for the

first time, for my Ferrari. The bodyguards were following us in another rental car.

- 183 -

Mary had stayed at the hotel, opting for a day off to spend on the beach rather than
going to the zoo. I couldn't help but think it had more to do with giving Edward and
me alone time with Abby, but was glad she would have a day off.

Abby and I decided to sing on the way and I was pleased to find that she knew

many of the childhood songs I remembered from my own childhood. At least my
Gram had taught me some normal childhood things because God knows my dingbat
mother wasn't capable of it. I was pretty sure I saw Edward wipe a tear from his
cheek as Abby and I belted out "Itsy Bitsy Spider," "Do Your Ears Hang Low," "My
Bonnie," and "Michael Finnegan."

It was only the beginning of a wonderful day. Okay, so it was a little weird having

big bodyguards in jeans and t-shirts with baseball caps on following us around all
day, but other than that, and the disguises, it almost felt like we were just any other
'normal' (whatever that is) family. We must have walked a thousand miles around
the zoo, making sure that Abby saw everything she wanted to see. Of course, she
asked to see the tigers twice, so we went back. She called me mommy three times
that day. I never missed a step, I just responded to her quickly, as I had promised
her I would. That was the single most perfect day I had ever had up until that point.
By the end, we were thoroughly exhausted. Abby fell asleep in the car on the way
back to the hotel and Edward carried her inside. We both tucked her in to bed and
kissed her goodnight before changing our clothes and going out to the beach for a
moonlight stroll.

Sunday night we were in Phoenix and Monday night we were in Las Vegas. As

soon as the Vegas show was over, we headed to McCarren and hopped on the
private jet to Albuquerque. We arrived there around three in the morning and I was
beat. I literally fell into the bed at the hotel fully dressed and slept until three on
Tuesday afternoon. I awakened to the sound of Edward's voice shouting in the other
room. He sounded really distressed and I flew out of the bed to see what was
happening.

When I first walked out of the bedroom, I thought he was talking to Tanya. Bitch.

But, as I approached him, I realized it wasn't Tanya. I heard him refer to whomever
he was talking to as "Kate" and I stopped. Who the fuck is Kate?

"I didn't see you or your parents in court! If you guys want visitation with Abby,

you're gonna have to go to court and ask for it!" I realized that this must be one of
Tanya's sisters that he was talking to. I sidled up behind him and wrapped my arms
around his waist, laying my head on his back. He immediately reached down and
grabbed my arm, pulling me around front of him, and held me with one arm, while
he held the phone and continued to argue with the skank's sister.

- 184 -

"If she wanted Abby in Chicago Saturday, she shouldn't have gotten her ass

thrown in jail. I don't care what she says. Abby's not going to be there. Her visitation
was to be monitored anyway. Are you and your parents going to have supervised
visitation with Abby? I didn't think so. Forget it. I said no. Fine, call Tanya's
goddamn attorney. I couldn't care fucking less. Don't tell me what I can and can't
say. Fuck you, Kate." Edward threw his phone into a chair and threw his other arm
around me.

"I'm sorry I woke you, babe." He kissed the top of my head and held me there for

quite some time.

"It's okay. I needed to get up anyway. What's going on?"

Edward led me to the couch to sit down while he brought me a cup of coffee and a

sinful looking Danish. He sat down with me and I turned to face him while I nibbled
on the Danish, waiting to hear the story.

"It seems that Tanya told her sisters and her parents to make sure Abby was in

Chicago this weekend and that they could have her visitation time. I'm so pissed off.
I know what those assholes will do, and that's take Abby to see her mother in jail,
Bella. Abby can't see her mother in that place." He stood up and paced around for a
minute before sitting back down. I scooted over to him and started rubbing his back.

"I'm sorry. I don't know what to say, Edward. I agree with you. Abby doesn't need

to see her in jail. Why don't you call your attorney?"

He kissed my forehead and walked over to grab his phone and did just that, called

his attorney. "Demetri, I've got a problem."

I sipped my coffee and listened while he explained that Kate had called him and

insisted that Abby be present for her visit on Saturday even though Tanya was in
jail. Apparently, Carmen and Eleazar, Tanya's parents, wanted Tanya's visitation
time to be with them. They, along with Tanya's sisters, Kate and Irina, felt it was in
Abby's best interest to be there with them while Edward was on tour since he was
"shacked up with some woman that nobody knows anything about." Edward winced
and mouthed, "I'm sorry," to me when he told Demetri this little jewel of
information. He was on the phone for a long time and I listened carefully,
contemplating the options in my head. Edward didn't say too much after his initial
story other than 'yes' and 'no'.

Upon hanging up, he put his arms around me and said, "I'm sorry you had to hear

all of that, love."

- 185 -

I turned into his hug, kissed him, and said, "No, I'm sorry you have to go through

all of that. What are the options?"

He sighed, leaning back against the sofa and running his hand through his hair. "I

don't really know. It's complicated."

"Complicated meaning you don't want to tell me what the options are."

"No, complicated as in complicated." He pressed his fingers to the bridge of his

nose and I immediately knew he was lying to me.

"Edward," I said softly while reaching for his hand.

"Yeah," he answered, his fingers still pressed to the bridge of his nose, and his

eyes closed tightly.

"If I'm making it complicated for you to properly care for your daughter and I need

to go, I'll go. She's more important…"

"NO!" he said, cutting me off and grabbing both of my wrists. "You are every bit as

important to me as Abby is. Can't you see that? I can't function without you, Bella.
You can't go. I need you with me so that I can take care of Abby properly. Please,
don't even consider leaving now. I couldn't bear it. You and Abby are the most
important things in my life. You are my life. We'll figure out something else, just
please don't say you're leaving."

I hopped up to my knees and threw my arms around him and he pulled me into his

lap. He cradled me in his arms and looked down at me, imploring me with his
gorgeous green eyes. I looked back at him, trying to show him just how much I loved
him, and placed my hand on his cheek.

"Edward, for as long as you'll have me, I'm here. I love you, so, so much. I'm sorry

I mentioned it, I just didn't want to be what was making things complicated."

He brushed back my hair and pulled me close to him, kissing me as though it were

the last time. When he finally pulled away from me, he looked at me with his
crooked smile that made my knees weak. "I love you, too, Bella. You aren't making
things complicated, they are. We'll figure it out, okay?"

It wasn't long before we headed to the Journal Pavilion for Edward's show, and I

was amazed at how different each of the places he went to perform were. Cricket
Amphitheatre in San Diego had been a beautiful outdoor venue with nearly 20,000

- 186 -

fans. Next we did Cricket Pavilion in Phoenix which was also a beautiful outdoor
venue with nearly 20,000 fans. Las Vegas was a different story. We were at the
MGM Grand Garden there, which seats about 17,000. It was indoors, and of course,
it was Vegas. I was sad that we didn't have any time to spend there because I had
never been to Las Vegas, but Edward promised he would take me back. The Journal
Pavilion in Albuquerque had a capacity of about 12,000, so smaller than the last
couple of venues we had been to. I was interested in how many outdoor concerts
Edward was doing.

After the concert was over, we had our usual time in the dressing room, visiting

with the other guys, members of the road crew, and entertaining fans. I was amazed
at how many of "Velvet's Vixens" managed to make it to his shows. It seemed there
were always an endless number of them there, but they never made a nuisance of
themselves. They really weren't anything like what I had expected of groupies. I
never saw any of them do anything that I felt was highly inappropriate in front of
me, which really surprised me. I decided that the horror stories I had heard via the
news media and the gossip columns had all been made up to sensationalize things. I
was glad that this was at least one area in which I didn't feel insecure. A few of the
girls were getting pretty chummy with me actually. I was really starting to feel a
part of the whole group rather than an outsider who was intruding. All the guys, the
Vixens, the road crew- they all called me by name and were polite and kind to me,
helping me out if I looked lost, which happened more than I care to say once
Rhianne released me from her never-ending presence.

After Albuquerque, we were to have a couple of days off and would travel to

Denver on the coaches for Edward's performance at Red Rocks Amphitheatre. As
soon as we were all safely ensconced on the busses that night, we left.

The next day, we were rolling into Denver late morning. Edward and I were both

awake and drinking coffee, talking and enjoying each other's company when Edward
got a call from Demetri. I knew it was bad when Edward stood, went to the
bedroom, and slammed the door. I sat staring at the bedroom door, waiting for him
to come out, for what felt like hours. I couldn't hear him talking so I knew that he at
least wasn't raising his voice.

Finally, the door opened and Edward motioned me to come back. I walked in and

plopped down on the bed, trying not to show my nervousness at what news he had.
"So, how bad is it?"

"Fuckers filed a custody suit."

I pondered this briefly and said, "Who? Tanya's parents and sisters?"

- 187 -

"Yeah." He sounded exasperated as he flopped back on the bed and hit it with his

fist about three times.

"Well, so what does this mean?"

"It means I'm going to have to be in court in Chicago next week for a preliminary

hearing. That's what it means. Fuck!"

"What about Saturday?"

"Demetri recommended that I send Abby to the visitation, but stipulate that it still

has to be supervised and that Abby is not to see her mother in jail. He says he can
get an order from the judge that it has to be that way or no go. He said that if I go
ahead and send her to visit with her aunts and grandparents, it will show good faith
on my part that I'm not going to alienate her from that side of the family, which is
exactly what the fuck I'd like to do. I wish those fucktards would just butt the hell
out of my life."

I sat there contemplating exactly what this was going to mean for Edward. It

would mean that he could possibly have to cancel or reschedule a show or two. It
also meant that he would be having to fly back and forth to Chicago at least once, if
not more in the next week. I worried more about Edward's level of exhaustion than
anything. "Are you going to send her?"

"I don't know, Bella. I don't know what to do. I don't want to just send her with

Mary because it's not fair to Mary to have to deal with those people on her own. I
don't want my mom to have to go because she despises the whole lot of them. She
never did get along with Carmen and Eleazar because they thought that they were
superior to Carlisle and Esme because they inherited their money and Carlisle and
Esme worked for theirs. Kate and Irina are spoiled bitches just like Tanya. I've got
Denver on Friday night, Dallas Saturday, Houston Sunday, New Orleans Monday,
and Shreveport on Tuesday. Obviously, I'm going to have to cancel a concert if I go.
Fuck. Can't those assholes wait until I'm closer to home to pull this shit?"

"Do you want me to go?" I asked because I was the only one he hadn't mentioned.

It seemed like a logical thing and I had no problem doing it. I would have gone to
the ends of the earth for Edward and for Abby.

Edward sat up and looked at me with incredulity. "Are you serious?"

I shrugged. "Of course I'm serious. I'm the only one you didn't name in that entire

dissertation. It makes sense. You can't go. You don't want Mary to go alone. You

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don't want your mom to have to go. I don't know those people and they don't know
me. They can say whatever they want to me, but I would be there for Abby."

"I'll have to think about that."

"Why? What is there to think about, Edward? Who else is going to do it?"

"I just don't know if it's a good idea, that's all."

I shook my head and rolled my eyes in exasperation. "Why not? Honestly, why not?

They already know about me, so what difference does it make."

"They might use it against me in court."

"Use what?"

"That I sent my daughter off with 'the mystery woman that nobody knows

anything about' and didn't see to her myself."

"Well, you're a little busy right now."

Edward held my gaze for a few moments and said, "Can I just think about it,

please? Let me wrap my head around it, call Demetri and see what the harm could
be. I really don't want you alone with those people."

"I don't have to be alone. Mary will be there."

"That's not what I mean, Bella, and you know it. Let me just ponder it for a couple

of hours."

I shook my head and stood to go find some food. It was nearly lunch time and I

was starving. I made Edward and myself a sandwich and called Edward to come eat
while pouring him a glass of milk. When he walked in, he wrapped his arms around
my waist and put his chin on top of my head. I leaned into his chest and sighed.

I felt so sorry for this man that I loved so very much. He was so broken and had so

many things going on in his life. I was surprised that he had so much left over for
me. It amazed me how much he really just needed a companion, more than anything,
and at how alone he had been over the past few years. Even when he was married to
Tanya, he had spent the majority of his time alone. Everyone thinks that being a
superstar means being surrounded by people all the time, and it does, but it doesn't
mean that very many of those people care about you beyond the fact that you're

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famous. I hoped Edward would come to understand that I really didn't care if he was
famous, or if he lived in a hovel in the middle of a desert. I would still love him
because of who he was, not what he was, or what he could do for me.

He kissed the top of my head and moved to sit down at the table, but remained

silent. I sat next to him and quietly munched on my sandwich. Edward did the same.
About halfway through our meal, Edward finally said, "Why do you want to do this?
Why would you want to go?"

I placed my sandwich on my plate and turned to face him. I took his hands in mine

and looked him in the eye when I answered, "Because I love you and I love Abby and
I want to do whatever I can to make things as easy as possible for you and as
non-traumatic as possible for Abby. Maybe me going with her would help her. I don't
know. I just want to do what I can to help."

"You're the real deal aren't you, Bella? I mean, I knew you were, but this just has

me nearly speechless. Nobody has ever loved me so selflessly before. I don't really
know how to manage it. I don't deserve…"

"You DO deserve it. Don't even say that again. You deserve it just as much or more

than the next guy. You haven't ever been properly loved, and I want to be the one to
do it so knock it off!"

Edward grabbed me by the back of my neck and pulled me to him, firmly planting

his lips on mine. Taking the upper hand, I slid across the bench seat, straddling his
lap. I immediately found my fingers in his hair, clenching it as I kissed him for dear
life. His hands were roaming over my back, drawing slow circles over the muscles
that were taut and on edge. Feelings of desire seeped into every cell in my body and
each one of my nerves was on fire with it. Before I even realized what I was doing, I
found myself grinding against Edward, wanting, no, needing the friction. I sighed
and Edward moaned.

I felt Edward shift beneath me and I clamped my knees against his hips. I wasn't

letting him get away. I wanted him. I wanted us to be together and the
consequences of that be damned. I already felt as one with him, the next step was to
consummate that feeling with a physical union of our bodies. We wanted it. We
needed it. We were desperate for it.

Edward slid off the bench and stood as I wrapped my legs around his waist and

held on. He released my lips so I clamped them to his neck. He was walking towards
the bedroom and I opened my eyes and saw the bus driver smiling at us in his big
rear view mirror. I let the thought flit through my mind that this was going to be

- 190 -

news by that night because of him, but found that I didn't care. I had Edward, and
that was all that mattered.

End Note: I'll um, write the next chapter fast. Promise. :) For all of you

who are going to tell me that I'm evil leaving it there... I know. I like it that
way. It feels... powerful.

Don't forget the Support Stacie auction! Follow me on Twitter for updates

on it and on this story, as well as other fun things you always wanted to
know about your author.

www (dot) twitter (dot) com/JuJuRN40

Edward gave you his next few tour dates so review to get your own

personalized VIP pass that includes back stage access to any of those shows,
or any other upcoming shows.

- 191 -

Butterfly

A/N The moment we've all been waiting for. It's short, but I hope it's just

enough. Many thanks to Lea, Militza, and Amy for previewing this chapter
for me and putting their stamp of "fuck-hot" on it.

If you have the availability, listen to "Butterfly" by Jason Mraz while reading this

chapter. I listened to it on repeat while writing this one.

To Lillie who is first and foremost my friend, my sister from another

mother, and my beta ~ Thank you for always being there for me, listening to
me, sharing my sorrow and my joy, and literally holding my hand and getting
me through the last week. More than Romeo loved Juliet, darlin'. Please
accept a vat of cyber-chocolate martinis from me to show my appreciation.

After you read and REVIEW, please run on over to my profile and check

out the stories that I'm beta'ing. LolaRosa, MilitzaG, and Eyes of Topaz are
all in the midst of some pretty great stories and they deserve some love.

Disclaimer: The "Twilight" characters that appear in this story unfortunately

belong to Stephenie Meyer who is the goddess of all things Twilight. I own this story
and my OCs and that's about it. I do have two cats that I will gladly give away.

Edward

The only thing I was sure of in the moment I made the decision to carry Bella to

the bedroom was the love, desire, and need radiating from every pore in her body,
and that I felt exactly the same way. We needed to be together, to allow our bodies
to meld into one much as our hearts and souls already had. It really wasn't my idea
of where and how I wanted our first time to go, but at that point in time, the need
was too great. There would be time for romantic and sweet later.

I walked through the bedroom door and pushed it shut with my foot, assessing the

situation and what was about to happen. Fuck it, I thought, here's as good as
anywhere…

Bella detached her lips from my earlobe, which felt fucking fantastic by the way,

and started kissing my mouth again. As I slid my hands down her sides and over the
swell of her ass, I moaned into her mouth. Her legs were still wrapped around me as
I stood in front of the door. My cock, that was hard enough to cut diamonds, was

- 192 -

pulsing and throbbing and quite uncomfortable in my jeans. I shoved it against Bella
and the heat that was coming from her center felt like a lava flow against my dick.

"Jesus… Fuck, Bella," I ground out while my hands gripped her ass and pulled her

to me.

She slid her hands up under my shirt and tugged upwards on it, so I obliged her

and let her pull it off me. I placed my hands on the bottoms of her thighs and
squeezed, then gently pulled, and she unwrapped her legs and put her feet on the
floor. As she kicked her shoes off, she grabbed hold of one nipple with her teeth and
bit down gently. Fuck me. We were moving at a frenzied pace, mouths and hands
everywhere. I yanked her top off and moaned when I caught an eye full of her
luscious tits. I started fumbling with the lacy black bra she had on and was
becoming more frustrated by the second. Between kissing her mouth, her neck, and
her shoulder I moaned, "How the fuck do you get this fucking thing off?"

Bella giggled and reached in front of her, quickly undoing the clasp and tossing

the offending article of clothing away. I grabbed her and shoved her against the
door, immediately cupping both breasts in my hands and attacking first one and
then the other with my mouth. She moaned and threw her head back, cracking it on
the door. "Sorry," I mumbled through a mouth full of tit.

"'S okay," she breathed back.

While I continued my full-on assault of Bella's perfect tits with my mouth, I

reached between us and unbuttoned her jeans, then pushed the zipper down quickly
because fuck it all, I wanted her the hell out of them, like fast. Suddenly I felt her
hand on my package and a shudder of pure ecstasy went through me. She squeezed
my dick through my jeans and then grabbed the waistband with both hands and
yanked all the buttons open at once. I could have sworn I actually heard my damn
dick celebrating.

I pulled Bella to me and pushed her against the door again. Her legs wrapped

around me and my knees felt fucking weak. Never in my life had any woman had this
kind of an effect on me. I was struggling to get my jeans off, but finally made it. It
was then that I realized that Bella and I were standing in my tour bus against the
closed bedroom door, both of us in nothing but our underwear, and we were actually
on the verge of fucking. I loved her so goddamn much I couldn't even imagine how I
had gotten so lucky.

Bella was grinding herself against my cock and she was just lucky that I didn't

freaking jizz in my boxers. It had been far too long since I had been with a woman.

- 193 -

Rosie Palm and her five sisters were pretty much the only girls I had been with for
quite some time. Fuck she felt good, skin on skin, chests pressed together, both of
us panting and clawing at each other as though we were trying to climb inside one
another.

She had her legs locked around my waist and was squeezing me so tight I thought

my lower half might just fall off, but I didn't care. I wanted it. I wanted her. I needed
her. I held onto her with one arm while the other one slid down her backside and
found her black lace panties. As my tongue plumbed her mouth and left no recess of
it untouched, I briefly wondered how attached she really was to those black lace
panties, because they needed to go. In the same instant, I realized that I could buy
her 1,000 pair just like them and I commenced removing them, and I wasn't being a
gentleman about it either. I finally felt the flimsy fabric give way and heard a ripping
sound as I pulled them away from her body and tossed them on the floor. Bella
gasped and started clawing at my boxers.

I reached down to help her out and started pushing them down, my cock springing

out and seemingly searching for where it knew it wanted to be as though it had a
homing beacon attached. I kicked the boxers away and felt Bella adjusting her
position against me, trying to get my cock inside her.

I quickly reached my hand down behind her and ran my fingers down her dripping

wet slit, sliding one finger up into her and relishing in her body's impulsive reaction.
Bloody fucking hell she was wet.

"Guh… Edward… fuck… I need…."

"What do you need, baby?" I whispered in her ear between teases of her earlobe

with my teeth.

"Damn it, Edward, please," she begged.

I chuckled and teased her entrance with my finger. "Mmmm, I think I want you to

beg some more." I leaned back to look in her face and her eyes were open wide and
looking mighty fierce.

"I need you inside me! Now!" she cried. It was something I was totally unprepared

for and the sound of her crying out those particular words went right through my
body like a tsunami causing all sorts of reflexive reactions.

I pulled up the hand that was busy teasing her, and looking her square in the eye,

popped my finger right into my mouth. Fuck she tasted good; just like peaches and

- 194 -

cream with sugar. Her mouth attacked my mouth while my finger was still in it, so I
smirked and slid the finger into her mouth, both of us tasting her peaches. Holy…
fuck that's hot…

When I couldn't hold back any longer, I shoved her against the door again, and

watched her face while I slowly impaled her on my waiting cock. I was fascinated by
the way her head dropped back with her mouth open. Unintelligible sounds escaped
her lips and it felt like every muscle in her body both tensed and relaxed at the same
time. She was so warm, and wet, and tight, and when I was fully seated inside of
her, I felt her muscles squeeze and massage my cock. Nothing… I repeat nothing…
had ever felt so good or so right to me in all my life.

I immediately started thrusting to a rhythm that was meant for her and me only.

She moaned loud and I joined her. My hands fell to her ass and I squeezed it tight as
I plumbed her depths, filling her up. I heard a banging sound and realized it was me
banging her body against the door. Shit… I gotta get her off this door before I hurt
her…

I reached up, pulled her tightly to me, and started to turn. She clamped her legs

down on me and as I walked… well… stumbled… towards the bed, she started riding
me and biting my shoulder.

"Ung… fuck…" was all I could say and when I reached the bed, we just sort of fell

onto it together. We were still thrusting against each other and rolling around until
we found our groove again. Bella wound up atop me and thrust her hips hard
against mine. I looked up at her and found her staring down at me with those
chocolate eyes, mahogany hair surrounding her. She looked like an angel, an angel
of seduction. I sat up and wrapped my arms around her while trying to find the edge
of the bed so I could put my feet down and get some leverage. I continued to move
hard against her and by the time I got the leverage I needed, we were worked up
into a frenzied pace again. I knew I wasn't going to last much longer and I didn't
want to disappoint her. Fear struck my heart. Crap… what if I fuck this up?!

As quickly as I had the thought, it was squelched when Bella grabbed my hair with

both hands and pulled. Hard. "Oh fuck, Edward, I'm coming!" she cried and then I
felt her orgasm wash over the both of us like a cool spring rain wiping the slate
clean. Her muscles clenched and she groaned and cried out. Her knees slammed
against my hips and she held on tight as I bucked against her and felt my release
tearing through my body.

"Fuck, oh God, Bella, fuck, here it… get ready… FUCK YES!" My climax came

down all around me sending me into an ecstasy I had never known. We both

- 195 -

shuddered and shook and clung to each other as we rode the waves of our orgasms
out, and then we collapsed onto the bed in a tangle of limbs, panting and gasping for
breath.

I laid there for a while with my eyes closed and just felt, for the first time in my

life. I caressed Bella's skin and she nuzzled against my chest. The feelings were
overwhelming. Every single place our skin was joined felt alive and on fire. I felt
whole. I felt like all the shit that had gone down didn't even matter anymore because
I knew Bella was with me, and we were one, and all the bullshit in the world could
never tear us apart.

END NOTE: Upcoming tour cities ~ Denver, Dallas, Houston, New Orleans,

Shreveport, Oklahoma City, Little Rock, St. Louis, Kansas City, and Omaha.
(NOT all inclusive... and YES this IS an international tour.) Review to get
your VIP passes to EC Velvet's shows!

So... was it worth the wait?

- 196 -

Lucky

A/N Thank you so much for all the lovely reviews for last chapter. I tried to

answer them all, but if I didn't get to yours, thank you.

Because I *heart* Jason Mraz so hard, theme song this chapter is "Lucky"

and it fits. :)

Lillie Cullen is the goddess of all things beta and friend. Love you BB!

H&R!

Obligatory Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. I own this story line, so leave it alone,

and I own my OC's, so leave them alone, too. 'Nuff said.

Bella

Oh. My. God. That. Just. Happened! I was too exhausted and euphoric to even

speak. I just laid there with my head on Edward's chest, our arms and legs tangled
together, and thought about how freaking amazing it had been. I listened as
Edward's breathing slowed, followed closely by his heart. The feel of his hands
caressing me intoxicated me. We had moved into a whole new plane of existence
where we were unbreakable and unstoppable. I only hoped that he felt the same
way.

At some point we both must have fallen asleep, but the bus stopping woke us up.

Well, me anyway. Edward was snoring softly. He still had one arm around me, but
the other was sprawled across the bed. I carefully leaned up to look at him. He was
so beautiful. It was the first time I had really had time to inspect his tats and I was
intrigued by them so I didn't want him to awaken and interrupt me just then.

My eyes scanned his chest and stopped on the yin-yang that adorned his right pec.

Tentatively, my fingers reached out and touched it lightly. Edward's breathing
pattern didn't change so I continued. I wondered what the tat meant to him. I
thought about what I had learned about yin-yang and wondered if the light and dark,
to Edward, were the parts of his persona that made up Velvet as opposed to the real
him. I decided to ask him about it later and continued my exploration. On his right
bicep was "Abigail Grace" in a fancy script surrounded by a tiny delicate green vine
with miniature red roses on it in the shape of a heart. I knew about the celtic cross
he had on his back, but I was even more interested in the phoenix that curled over
his left shoulder. The colors were brilliant, reds, oranges, yellows, and golds. As I

- 197 -

examined it closer, I noted that the phoenix had teardrops falling from the eye that
was nearest to the left side of Edward's chest, as though the tears were falling on
his heart. The legend of the phoenix says that its tears have healing power. I
wondered when Edward got this particular tattoo and if the tears were meant to
heal his heart.

I traced the tears of the phoenix with my finger while my eyes wandered down his

chest to his rock-hard abs. I had seen Edward work out a few times, but decided he
must do more of it at home when he wasn't on tour. Either that or he had some of
the best genes known to man because all of his muscles were very well defined. As
my eyes wandered across his abdomen, I noted another tattoo on his right hip, just
below the cut of his abdominal muscles. I had never noticed this one before and it
caught my eye. It was small and I had to lean in to see it. I giggled just a little bit
when I finally made it out. It said one word. "Velvet."

Edward stirred and I slid my hand across his belly and nuzzled his neck. He kissed

the top of my head and wrapped his other arm around me, pulling me over on top of
him. He then kissed my lips tenderly and whispered, "Are you okay?"

I smiled broadly at him, hoping that I was exuding every bit of love and happiness

that I felt. His lips twitched as he broke into a half-smile. "Yes, Edward. I'm more
than okay. I love you."

His smile finally became a full one and he replied, "I love you, too, my Bella." I

really liked the sound of that. "Where are we? Do you know?"

"No idea. The bus stopped, but the engine is still running and I haven't heard

anything."

Edward pushed his body against me, letting me feel his very obvious arousal

pressed into my belly. A shudder tore through me and he chuckled. "You like that,
do you?"

"Mmmmmm," I said before kissing him deeply.

Edward chuckled again and flipped us over quickly, pinning me beneath him. He

kissed my mouth and then ran his tongue across my jaw and down my neck making
me tingle all over. He ended his tongue's journey with a soft kiss in the hollow
beneath my ear and whispered, "As much as I'd like to have you again, right now, we
better get up and see what's going on. However, don't get too far away from me
because later I'm going to make you scream my name some more." I shivered with
anticipation and he chuckled yet again before crawling off the bed and extending his

- 198 -

hand to me to help me up.

As I stood, I ran my hand over the phoenix. "This phoenix is beautiful, Edward.

What does it mean?"

He looked down at it and his emerald green eyes twinkled when he looked back up

at me. "I got the phoenix after Tanya and I divorced. You know, they are reborn from
their ashes and I felt like I was being reborn from my ashes."

"But the tears? Are they healing your heart?"

"You know the legend of the phoenix then?"

I nodded. "I do."

"I had those added after the first time you called me. You were the one who finally

made my phoenix cry its healing tears and start to heal my heart."

I stared up at him for a brief moment before throwing my arms around him. "Oh,

Edward. You're just too much sometimes." He kissed the top of my head and we
parted, both of us trooping into the tiny bathroom to take a shower.

Edward stepped into the shower first, pulling me with him into the hot spray. He

began pulling my long hair up and back, making sure it was all wet. He took my
strawberry shampoo and poured some in his hand before turning me around and
gently washing my hair. He scrubbed my scalp and pulled his fingers through my
hair tenderly. I had to put my hands on the sides of the shower to keep from melting
right into a puddle on the floor. When he was done lathering, he turned me again
and rinsed all the shampoo away. I kept my eyes closed and enjoyed the sensations
of his body brushing up against mine as he worked. He put the conditioner in my
hair when he was done rinsing and then took some shower gel into his hands and
started lathering up my body. My nipples grew taut as he swirled his soapy hands
around them. I reached out to hang on to the sides of the shower again as his hands
lovingly caressed my belly, my back, my butt, and my thighs. Several times I heard
him murmur, "So beautiful," and "All mine," which made a coil tighten in my belly
every time I heard it. I wanted to jump him and force him to make love to me, but I
didn't want to ruin the beautiful moment we were sharing, so I tried to remain in
control of my actions, closed my eyes, and luxuriated in the sensation of his hands
on my body.

When he was done rinsing every bit of soap and conditioner from me, I traded

places with him and returned the favor. I washed him lovingly and quietly, making

- 199 -

sure I got all of his parts. His sex was fully aroused and I bit my lip and giggled a bit
before I put my soapy hands on it and stroked it gently. Edward's body shuddered
and he moaned with the contact. I looked up at his face and saw him smirking so I
continued to run one soapy hand over the length of his cock while I reached beneath
and carefully stroked his balls. "Jesus Christ, Bella. You're not making this easy," he
ground out while reaching down and placing his hands on my shoulders.

"Sorry," I mumbled and stood up to turn him and rinse all the suds off him. The

water was getting cold quickly so I hurried to get the rest of the soap off before
turning off the water. I started to open the shower door when his strong arms
captured me and his lips crashed into mine, kissing me fervently.

When he released me, he looked into my eyes and said, "Don't ever be sorry for

that. I fucking love you and if I could spend the rest of my life with some part of your
body touching mine, I would, but that doesn't pay the bills, baby." He grinned and
kissed me again before opening the door himself and grabbing a towel off the rack.
He started drying me off and I grabbed the other towel and pushed it into his chest.

"Someone just came on the bus," I hissed. We both giggled as we climbed out of

the tiny shower and began drying off. I wrapped the towel around my head and just
as I opened the shower door, I heard knocking on our bedroom door.

"Edward? Bella? You guys awake?" It was Rhianne. We must have arrived at our

destination.

"Yeah, just a sec," I hollered at her.

"Okay."

After we were dressed, we walked into the main compartment of the bus to find

Rhianne and some guy I didn't know sitting there. I glanced at Edward and he
looked confused as well.

"Hi, guys. I wanted to bring the new road manager over to introduce you. Edward,

Bella, this is Stefan. He's going to take over a ton of work from me and I'm grateful
because then I can concentrate on the two of you."

Edward stepped forward and shook Stefan's hand so I did the same.

"Nice to meet you both," Stefan said warmly. "I've been looking forward to

meeting up with you here in Denver. I'll be with you for the rest of the tour. It
sounds like poor Rhianne has had a lot on her plate so I hope that I can help her

- 200 -

out."

Edward motioned for everyone to sit as he answered, "You got that right.

Rhianne's been working her ass off. The label sent you?"

After that, there was a lot of 'music business' talk that I really didn't understand

so I just smiled and listened, nodding my head at the appropriate times. Before long,
Abby came bounding onto the bus and crawled right up in her daddy's lap. She
seemed frustrated that daddy was busy so I stood and said, "Come on, Abby, let's go
play, okay?"

Abby squealed and took my hand immediately, so we went outside and over to the

small bus that she and Mary were using. I played a game of Chutes & Ladders with
her and talked with Mary some while she fixed lunch. The three of us ate PB&J
together and played another round of Chutes & Ladders. Afterwards, Mary said it
was time for Abby's nap, so I kissed and hugged her. She looked up at me and said,
"Will you read me a book, mommy?"

My heart soared and I said, "Sure, Abby." Mary looked at me and I nodded to her

to let her know it was okay as I walked with Abby to where her bed was in the bus.
There was a shelf right next to it with several books on it. "What book do you want
me to read?"

Abby perused the books carefully and then pulled out "Green Eggs and Ham,"

handing it to me as though it were breakable. "That's my favorite," she said happily.

"What a coincidence! It's one of my favorites, too!"

I laid down on Abby's bed with her and read the book aloud, enjoying every

second of it. I had never thought of myself as maternal, but Abby seemed to bring
out the maternal instinct in me and I felt really good that she was so attached to me
already. The only thing that I longed for was for all of us to be home together so she
could have some semblance of normal rather than living on a stupid tour bus. I knew
that Mary kept her schedule rather rigid so that she wouldn't get confused, but it
was hard to believe that they weren't both exhausted from the traveling. Hell, I had
only done it for a little over a week and I was exhausted!

After she was asleep, I excused myself and went back to find Edward. I walked

around where the tour busses were parked in a circle of sorts, kind of like when they
'circled the wagons' in the old west and chuckled softly to myself. As I emerged from
the circles, the mountains were breathtaking and I saw that we were at Red Rocks.
I'm not sure there had ever been a more gorgeous location for a concert. It was only

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Wednesday and the concert wasn't until Friday, so I wondered what we were going
to do for those two days. I was walking around taking in the scenery when a pair of
strong arms encircled me.

"Whatcha doin', babe?" Edward's velvety voice said in my ear.

"Just checkin' things out and looking for you."

"It's beautiful, isn't it?"

"That it is."

We walked around hand in hand for a few minutes so Edward could show me some

things about the amphitheatre. We sat down in the seats just in front of the stage
and Edward turned to me.

"I've been thinking about you taking Abby to Chicago."

"And?"

"Do you really still want to?"

"Of course I do."

"Well, here's the deal then. The concert is Friday. I really need to have a face to

face with my attorney this week anyway. I was thinking we could all fly to Chicago
later this afternoon. I could get some business attended to, get you and Abby settled
in my house, and make sure that the conditions of the meeting are specified before I
throw you to the wolves. Does that work for you?"

"Your house?" I felt like an idiot. I hadn't even thought about where I'd stay in

Chicago.

Edward chuckled. "Yeah, my house, unless you'd rather stay at my downtown

apartment."

"Uh, wherever is fine with me."

Edward smiled and picked up his phone. He called Rhianne and asked her to

arrange for us to fly out to Chicago later that afternoon. He also asked for her to
arrange for my Ferrari to be sent to Chicago straight away. "I want it somewhere
that it can't get scratched up and stuff," he explained. "Besides, we're not going to

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have very many opportunities to drive it while on tour, obviously."

I just smiled and nodded at him. After that was all taken care of, he took my hand

and looked at me seriously. "Bella, there's something I want to talk to you about
because I don't want anything to happen that you don't want."

A lump rose in my throat. I had no idea what he meant or what he was doing. I

blinked a couple of times as I nodded.

"I'm sorry I sort of attacked you earlier. It was thoughtless of me to not offer to

wear a condom and I have no idea if you're protected from pregnancy…"

"I'm on the pill, Edward," I cut him off. I was so relieved that this was all he

wanted to discuss that I didn't even care that it was kind of embarrassing. "I have
been for several years. I never stopped taking it after… well, after I left Mike."

"Oh, well that's good. It's been plaguing me for a couple of hours," he said

sheepishly. Then he continued, "But about the condom…"

"Are you safe?" I asked, never having let the thought cross my mind that he

wouldn't be.

"I'm not going to lie, Bella. I slept around a little bit right after Tanya and I split

up, but I haven't in a very long time. I've been tested for everything under the sun
and have a clean bill of health, but I didn't want you worried about it."

I took both of his hands in mine. "If you say you're clean, I believe you. I'm not

worried about it, Edward. I can see how being on the road could be conducive to…
indiscretions."

Edward looked down at our joined hands and said, "I'm not proud of that, Bella. I

never cheated on Tanya while we were married, even when I was on tour and
women were throwing themselves at me. It was tough sometimes, let me tell ya,
especially after I'd had a few drinks and I was hopped up on adrenaline after a show,
but I always remained faithful to her, no matter how much she stepped out on me or
how much of a bitch she was to me. As soon as our divorce was final, I was on a
mini-tour of sorts and I just kind of went wild, letting the Velvet part take over for a
couple of months. I drank, a lot, I smoked pot, I did some coke, and I fucked every
woman on two legs who threw herself at me. It was a very dark time for me. I tried
to keep it all under wraps as much as I could because I didn't need the media
reporting that shit and Tanya getting a hold of it. That's when I got that fuckin'
tattoo of 'Velvet' on my hip. I was in a bad place and I did some pretty bad things.

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I'm sorry now that I did those things because the only person I was hurting was
myself. She was doing her own awful shit, but I was too fucked up to even notice for
a while. Once I realized the situation my daughter was living in, I straightened
myself out and stopped the drugs, slowed the drinking, and swore off women. I'm
not sure why I'm telling you all of this except that I really feel like I need to be
completely honest with you. If our relationship is going where I want it to go, you
need to know everything, not just the good stuff."

He was still looking down at our joined hands and I needed to see his eyes.

"Edward, look at me, please?" Slowly he brought his head up. His eyes were filled
with sadness at his confession and my heart was breaking for him. "I love you,
Edward. I'm not going to judge you for what you've done in your past. I've seen what
you go through on a daily basis and it's quite admirable that you were able to pull
yourself together as well as you have. None of it matters to me. I have you in the
here and now and that's all I want. I'm with you, no matter what, from here on out
for as long as you'll have me and we're going to be a force to be reckoned with."

He embraced me then, holding me and rocking me, pulling me into his lap. I laid

my head on his shoulder and just sat with him quietly for quite some time. Finally he
said, "Thank you for forgiving me."

"Pfffft. There's nothing to forgive, Edward. I love you."

"I love you, too."

Soon, we had to go and pack for Chicago. Edward really didn't have to take too

much, but I needed clothes as I had none there. A limo picked us up to take us in to
the airport. Abby was just precious sitting in her booster seat in the back of the limo
pointing at things and asking a thousand questions of both Edward and myself. Mary
beamed at her. I could tell that Mary really cared about Abby and it made my heart
happy that Abby had so many people that loved her.

We arrived at Rocky Mountain Municipal Airport after quite a drive. I looked

around confused. "I thought we were going to the airport? Isn't DIA the airport
here?"

Edward chuckled. "We don't need DIA, Bella. We've got a private jet."

"Oh!" I don't know why it surprised me, but it did.

We boarded the jet and were quite the entourage. Rhianne, Edward, Mary, Abby,

four bodyguards, and me. The plane was plush and nothing like I had ever seen

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before. The seats weren't in rows like they were on commercial flights. There was a
leather sofa, several large leather chairs, a table with a few chairs, a television, wet
bar, telephone, and a desk with plug-ins for a computer. I settled into one of the
large leather chairs next to Edward and found that there were seatbelts buried in
the seat. Edward nodded when I looked questioningly at him regarding the seatbelts
and fastened his, too. Mary had Abby all strapped in and everyone else found a place
to sit and got strapped in as well. There was even a flight attendant who came
around and introduced herself as 'Candy.' I raised an eyebrow and Edward chuckled
when she came to me.

After we took off, Candy brought us all drinks and we unbuckled our seatbelts so

we could move around the plane. I was thoroughly shocked when Edward motioned
to me, opened a door in the back, and found a bedroom, complete with a
queen-sized bed. "I thought maybe you could use a nap?" I smiled and laid down
with him where we simply laid atop the covers, and held each other.

Abby came in and crawled up on the bed. "What's up, Abby?" I asked her.

"Can I lay down with you?"

"Of course you can, honey." She wasted no time crawling right in between Edward

and myself, shoving herself between us. We scooted apart to make room for her and
Edward turned on the television. "Madagascar 2" was on, so we watched it the rest
of the way to Chicago.

Upon arrival in Chicago, things seemed to happen quickly. We were all quickly

ushered into a limousine and driven across town. Edward was on his phone a couple
of times and I had no idea what he was talking about. When we arrived at his house,
we entered the gate and I gasped at the size of it. It wasn't a house. It was a
freaking mansion. The place was lit up like a Christmas tree and when the chauffer
opened the back door, I could see that the front door was standing open and a very
pretty lady was standing on the porch.

"That's Maria, my housekeeper," Edward informed me.

Abby bounded out of the car and ran into the house screaming something about

being home. Edward and I walked up, hand in hand, and he introduced me to Maria.
"Maria is from Guatemala," he explained. I shook her hand and then Edward
ushered me inside.

I was astounded. There was marble and cherry wood everywhere. The entryway

had a huge chandelier hanging in it with a huge picture of Edward hanging on the

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wall directly in front of the door. To the right and left were marble staircases
leading up to the second floor where a big balcony looked down onto the foyer. On
the left was a large archway that looked as though it led into a huge living room. On
the right was another archway leading into a big dining room with a cherry table.

Edward gave me a tour of the house, including the studio that was being built on

the back of the house to further his plans of starting his own label. Finally, we
retired to Edward's master suite where he ran me a bath in the very large Jacuzzi
bathtub.

"Come take a bath, baby. It's been a long day." He led me into the bathroom and

started stripping me down. His warm, strong hands ran over my body as he removed
my blouse, then my jeans, and finally my bra, leaving me standing there in nothing
but my panties. I turned to face him and my breath hitched when he pulled me into
his embrace and kissed me hard. I snaked my arms around his waist and pulled him
closer to me, needing to feel his body next to mine. He was hard and I felt his body
shudder as I pushed against his cock, rubbing against him.

He released me and hooked his thumbs in the waistband of my panties, smirking

as he pulled them down. I stepped out of them and he tossed them aside, then led
me over to the bathtub. He held my hand while I stepped in. I relaxed into the hot
water and Edward turned on the jets. "Close your eyes and relax, babe. I'll be right
back."

I followed his instructions. It wasn't hard. The bath felt so damn good. The jets

massaged my sore and tired back and I felt every single muscle in my body releasing
the tension that had built. I was so nervous being in Edward's house, it was insane. I
kept thinking, "How did this happen to me? How did I get so lucky?" I heard Edward
moving around the bathroom, but didn't open my eyes until I felt him stepping into
the tub with me.

The sight that met my eyes was incredible. While I had laid there relaxing, Edward

had lit several candles around the room, brought me a glass of wine, undressed, and
was now in the tub with me. He sat at the opposite end from me and picked up one
of my feet, massaging it gently. I slid my other foot up his thigh and rested it on his
leg. He smiled over at me and asked, "So, what do you think of my house?"

"It's great. Kinda big for just you, isn't it?"

Edward's eyes took on a sadness again. "Yeah, it's kinda big. I don't like it when

I'm here by myself. It's too quiet. The silence is deafening."

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"I can imagine."

"I hope that's not the case anymore. I hope that you'll be here with me from now

on."

I cocked my head to the side and smiled at him. He was still massaging my foot

and calf. It felt so good. I imagined spending every day just like that with him.
Edward gently released that leg and picked up my other, massaging it as well. I felt
my eyes falling closed and I leaned back, just enjoying the feel of his hands on my
body. When he was done with my legs, I felt him moving around and I caught him
with my feet. Opening one eye, I said, "You're not getting out are you?" He chuckled.

"No. I was going to slide in behind you."

I sat up so he could sit behind me and as soon as he was settled, he pulled my

back against my chest. I rested my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes again.
His hands were running up and down my arms, but soon they were gently swirling
around my breasts and rubbing my tummy.

"Mmmm, that feels good."

"Does it?" he questioned before leaning down and kissing my exposed neck and

shoulder.

"Uh huh…"

He cupped my breasts in both hands and gently squeezed them, rolling his thumbs

across my nipples and teasing them both into hard peaks. "And what about that?" he
purred.

"Oh yeah, that feels... mmmm… so good." My arms were resting on Edward's

thighs and I stroked them gently, marveling at his hard muscles. I felt his erection
twitch against my back and felt a slow smile spread over my face. His lips were still
trailing over my shoulder and neck until he brought his left hand up and pulled me
to him to kiss my lips. I started to turn towards him and he stopped me.

"Not here, baby. If you're ready to get out though…" I stood up, not waiting for

him to finish. He chuckled again and stepped out as well, opening the drain as he
did. We both dried off quickly and he wrapped a big fuzzy robe around me before
leading me to his bedroom. It was late and I was tired. I looked at his huge
king-sized bed longingly. I was so aroused, yet so relaxed from the bath. I didn't
know for sure what I wanted just then. Edward turned down the bed and patted it,

- 207 -

silently asking me to get in. I obliged and tossed the robe on the floor, crawling
between the covers and sinking into the soft mattress. A moment later Edward was
on the other side and he climbed in. Reaching his arms across the bed, he brought
me to the middle to snuggle into his arms.

"You tired, babe? We can just go to sleep, as long as I get to hold you."

I didn't take long to think about it. No way was I going to sleep. I wanted Edward

to make love to me, in his bed, in his room, in his house. "I'd really like it if you just
made love to me, Edward." It was all the encouragement he needed to make slow,
sweet, sexy, hot love to me.

His hands were magical when they worked my body over, but they couldn't hold a

candle to his mouth. When he lowered his head between my legs, I was nearly
shattered by the sheer ecstasy of it. His tongue lapped circles around my clit while
his fingers slid slowly in and out of me. Every time I thought I was going to come, he
stopped. By the time he finally entered me, I shuddered with the first orgasm
immediately. Two hours and four orgasms later, I lay in his arms, panting, blissed
out, and on the verge of a very deep sleep. As I drifted off, I heard him say, "My
Bella," while brushing my damp hair off my face.

The next morning was a flurry of activity. Edward went to see his attorney and

returned just before lunch. While he was gone, I got lost in the house twice, played
with Abby, directed the unloading of my Ferrari, and found out that his parents were
coming over for lunch. I was a bundle of nerves by the time he got home. When he
arrived, I met him in the foyer and regarded him cautiously. His eyes were full of
worry. I reached to hug him. "What's wrong, Edward?"

"Nothing. Don't worry about it. Just a hard morning with Demetri. I don't always

like what he has to tell me."

"Anything I can do?"

"Nah, it's cool. I'm good." He kissed me on the cheek and took my hand while we

walked towards the kitchen. "My mom here yet?"

"No, but they're both coming."

"Good. You need to meet them both."

I knew that Edward wanted me to meet his parents, but it was kind of a cryptic

thing to say. I brushed it off thinking he had other things on his mind and told him I

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was going to find Abby and have her get cleaned up for lunch. He had an odd look
on his face when he said, "Isn't that what Mary's here for?"

"Oh, I know. I just want to help," I answered with a smile, and went off in search

of the beautiful little four-year-old who had stolen my heart.

Meeting Edward's parents went well for the most part. Edward finally asked me to

excuse them when his father started asking personal questions about our
relationship. I might have been angry, but I was more relieved that he saved me the
embarrassment of him telling his dad what our relationship was, exactly. I really
didn't want to be there for that. I went upstairs with Abby and read her a book
before she went to sleep for her nap. We read "Goodnight Moon" that time, and I
was thankful that it was short. I didn't want to keep Edward waiting. When I
returned to the dining room, they had all moved into the living room, so I went to
meet up with them. I heard Edward's voice carrying through the foyer as I crossed
it.

"I don't think that's any of your damn business, Dad! I can take care of myself. I

have been for a long time!" I stopped. I wasn't sure whether to go ahead and walk in
the room or not. I listened for a moment and heard Carlisle's reply.

"I realize that, Edward, but you know what's going to happen in court. Tanya and

her family are just going to throw it in your face that you're living with this woman.
They're going to dig up every piece of dirt they can on you and on her. Do you really
want her to have to endure that? The media is bad enough, but do you want her to
have to testify about it in court?" It was at that moment I'd had enough. I couldn't
even begin to imagine what 'dirt' he could be talking about where I was concerned,
but there was little or no dirt to be found. I stormed into the living room and to
Edward's side, taking his hand in mine.

"What is it that I'm not going to want to testify about in court? I've got nothing to

hide, Mr. Cullen. The only thing in my past is an abusive boyfriend that I left months
ago." Edward squeezed my hand and mouthed an apology to me. I gave him a quick
smile and turned back to his father.

"That's not what your ex-boyfriend says," he retorted and tossed a magazine on

the coffee table. I picked it up and stared at my picture on the front of it. There was
a headline reading something about a harlot and I was furious. I opened it to read
the article and there was a picture of Mike in all his asshole glory, smiling at the
camera, and spewing the most awful lies about me.

"Oh my God!" I yelled. "I've got to call, Alice. The boys are probably going to kill

- 209 -

him for this." I left the living room, apologizing to Edward's parents for my outburst.
I heard Edward tell them he would call them later and heard his footsteps on the
stairs, following me up them.

I grabbed my phone and dialed Alice. She answered before it rang. How does she

DO that?

"I just read it, Bella. Oh my God, I'm so sorry. I had no idea he was going to pull

this shit. Fuck. Jasper and Emmett are going to be so pissed off!"

"I know! But, Alice, they can't do anything to him. You have to make sure."

"I know this, Bella," she hissed. "Just a minute, hang on." I heard her cell clank on

a table or something and heard her talking, apparently on another phone, to Jasper.

"I'm on the phone with her right now, Jas. She's fine. She's just worried that you

and Emmett are going to do something. No, you can't. You have to leave him alone. I
mean it, Jas. Yeah. Okay, I'll talk to you later. Love you, too."

"Bella?"

"Yeah, I'm here. I take it this just came out today?"

"I guess, at least today is the first time I saw it. Rosalie called me and told me to

go get it and read."

I talked to Alice for a while longer. She assured me that she would make sure that

Jasper and Emmett stayed on their best behavior and didn't do anything to Mike.
The next thing I did was call my father. It was a call I wasn't looking forward to,
especially since I hadn't talked to him since I left Seattle.

"Hi, Dad," I said, trying to sound chipper, when he answered.

"Hi, Bells." No enthusiasm whatsoever. "Where are you?"

"Um, right now I'm in Chicago. I've been meaning to call, but have been so busy

that…"

"I don't want to hear what you've been busy with, Bella. I'm very disappointed in

you."

"What? Why?" I was incredulous. Surely after everything I had gone through with

- 210 -

Mike he didn't believe all that bullshit that Mike had said.

"Is all this true, Bella?"

"All what, Dad? What Mike's been saying? Is that what you're so upset about?

Because I really hope it isn't, because you, of all people, should know it's all lies." I
felt a tear roll down my face and Edward immediately took me in his arms, holding
me while I talked to my father and cried.

"I'm not sure what to believe anymore, Bella. I don't hear from you for days on

end, so I call your friends because you don't return my calls, and all I get is beating
around the bush about how you're busy, and then I start seeing articles in the
newspaper about you off with some rapper and then this. I just don't know what to
think."

That was when I broke down. I cried. Hard. I told my dad all about Edward, from

how we met to what we were doing now. I told him about Mike's jealous outburst
when the picture came out in the Seattle paper and I told him how wonderful
Edward was and that I wanted him to meet him just as soon as it was possible for
Edward with his busy schedule. When I thought I wasn't going to be able to make
him understand, he finally backed off.

"I'm sorry, Bells. I just wish you would keep in touch a little better."

"I'm sorry, too, daddy, I just wish you would learn to use your email so it was

easier for me. I'm not always someplace that I can call, but I'm usually someplace
that I can email." Charlie finally relented and softened. I was thankful, because I
didn't think I could deal with any more heartfail that day. When we hung up, he
agreed to check his email every other day and I agreed to email him at least twice a
week.

Edward hugged me tight and apologized to me. I told him it wasn't necessary, but

he seemed to think the whole thing was his fault. I couldn't make him understand
that I didn't care. As long as my friends and Charlie were okay, I couldn't care less
what anyone else thought. Finally he asked me to go for a walk and we headed out
onto his estate to walk around in his flower gardens out back. It was such a beautiful
place. While we walked, Edward explained to me what Demetri had told him. It
wasn't as bad as I thought it might be, but it was bad enough. Demetri had
explained that since Edward hadn't known me 'in person' for long, that it might look
bad to the judge that we were essentially living together. He told him that he
basically had two choices.

- 211 -

"What are the choices?"

"Well, we can either just let this go and you can go to court and testify. We'll have

to call your father and all of your friends to testify on your behalf, as character
witnesses. Tanya and her lawyers will try to crucify you, and we'll just have to hope
that they believe us instead of her."

"Okay, what's the other choice?" Edward turned to me with a smirk.

"We get married." He watched my reaction, which truthfully wasn't very

surprised. I presumed after all he had told me that getting married was probably
going to be the other option. I tried to keep any emotion out of my voice when I
answered him.

"So, what do you want to do?" It was my turn to surprise Edward. His eyes

widened slightly before he went back to a neutral facial expression.

"Well, I guess that's kind of up to you, Bella. I'd love to marry you, but I don't

know if you're ready for that yet. On the other hand, I don't mind making Tanya sit
through hours of testimony as to how wonderful you really are." He finished with a
smile and it made me smile back. It also made me love him even more, if that were
possible.

"Let's just play it by ear then. Okay with you?"

He nodded and hugged me. "That's what I was going to suggest, baby."

We headed back to the house hand in hand, ready to face whatever was going to

come our way. Just as we got to the door I turned to him and said, "Do you feel
unbreakable and unstoppable like I do?" He smiled and nodded. It was all I needed
to know.

As we climbed the stairs to find Abby Edward said, "Bella, I'm so lucky to be in

love with my best friend."

End Note: *drum roll* Let the angst begin! LOL Reminder for upcoming

tour dates: Denver, Dallas, Houston, New Orleans, Shreveport, Oklahoma
City, Little Rock, St. Louis, Kansas City, Omaha. NOT all inclusive! Velvet's
Vixens have outgrown the Scooby-Mobile so we've rented a full sized tour
bus of our own. Amy will be providing the entertainment, Lillie will be the
"sorority mom" and keep us all in line, and the rest of us are going to attack
the wet bar. Review for your bus ticket and VIP passes!

- 212 -

Don't forget to follow me on Twitter! www (dot) twitter (dot)

com/JuJuRN40

Please go read the new story "A Different Kind of Moon" by Eyes of Topaz.

Link is on my profile. Also check out the links to my other beta'd stories by
LolaRosa and MilitzaG!

- 213 -

Goodbye

A/N Well my lovelies, you have all been so wonderful about reviewing and

haven't even gotten mad at me when I've been far too busy to reply, so I'm
giving you a treat this chapter before the real angst begins. :) The reviews
are awesome so please keep them coming! I really enjoy them and they
inspire me to keep writing for all of you!

To my wonderful beta Lillie Cullen...There are no words for what you mean

to me. If you guys love my story, be sure to give thanks to Lillie by going to
my profile, finding the links to her stories there, and reading them if you
haven't already. Don't forget to review for her. She makes sure that I don't
suck among other things.

Lillie will be posting the first chapter of the third story of the Lessons

Trilogy, "A Lesson in Love," on Thursday so get her on Author Alert so you'll
be ready for the awesomeness that is Lillie!

Disclaimer: All hail Stephenie Meyer. She owns all of the Twilight characters.

Without her, EC Velvet would never have been dreamed into existence.

Edward

I didn't want to leave her there. I didn't want to throw her to the proverbial

wolves. It just wasn't what I wanted to do. I tried to figure every way around it that I
could, but it just wasn't working out for me to stay, or to come back even. I had
personal appearances over the weekend that would be detrimental to my career if I
didn't make them.

That night as we went to bed, I pulled her close to me and kissed her tenderly,

running my tongue across her lower lip before touching the tip of her tongue with
mine. She sighed into my mouth and deepened the kiss while wrapping her arms
around my neck and intertwining her fingers in my hair. She slid her left knee along
the outside of my right thigh and pulled herself closer to me. "I want you," I
whispered while placing tiny kisses along the line of her jaw. She sighed and threw
her head back, pulling my head into her neck.

I gently pushed on her shoulder and she complied with my wish by laying back. In

the moonlight through the window, I could see her eyes shining as I hovered over
her and pressed my body against hers. My engorged cock strained against its very

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skin as I pressed it against her heat and stroked it against her slit. I could feel her
juices soaking my skin and I shuddered in anticipation of the night's activities.

I kissed Bella with a hunger and I felt her return the desire in her kiss. It wasn't as

though we were going to be apart for more than a couple of days, but I couldn't bear
the thought of not having her next to me. She completed the being that I was.

As I kissed my way down her neck and across her collarbone, I let my hand make

languid circles on her belly, occasionally brushing the sensitive underside of her
breasts. Her body was so responsive to mine and I watched when her nipples
pebbled and peaked as my fingers danced across them lightly.

Her fingers were running through my hair and she leaned up a couple of times to

kiss the top of my head, but mostly I felt her eyes on me, watching my every move.

I let out a guttural groan when I finally took the peak of one breast into my mouth

and allowed my hand to slip between her legs, cupping her moist sex. She was bare
down there and I smirked at the sensation of sliding my fingers into her soft, wet
folds.

"Ah, Bella, you're so wet." I gently nipped at her nipple with my teeth while my

fingers rubbed the length of her slit, paying particular attention to the bundle of
nerves near the top. She writhed beneath my hand and pulled gently on my hair.

"I need you inside me," she whispered. She was breathing hard and I glanced up

at her to see that her eyes were closed and her head was pressed back into the
pillow while her pelvis arched towards my invading fingers.

I couldn't even stop the smile that spread across my face at the look on hers as I

slid one finger down and teased her opening for just a moment before sliding it
inside her. Her body jerked convulsively and she moaned, pushing her head further
back into the pillow.

"Oh, God, Edward, please…" she choked out as the second finger joined my first.

I positioned myself where I could see her but still lavish attention on her breasts

while I started slowly moving my fingers in and out of her core. I felt her muscles
clench around them when my thumb grazed across her clit so I applied more
pressure to it and slid my other arm under her back.

"What is it that you want, Isabella?" My voice sounded almost foreign to me

because I was breathless and full of desire. I nearly growled the question at her. My

- 215 -

fingers were still moving slowly within her and my thumb was making lazy circles on
her clit.

She shuddered and her muscles clenched around my fingers again, her hips

thrusting against my hand trying to pull them deeper inside of her. I released her
nipple completely and watched her squirm to the tune of my ministrations. She was
absolutely, without a doubt, the most beautiful creature I had ever laid eyes on in
my life and I felt fiercely possessive of her in that moment.

Her heavily lidded eyes opened momentarily and locked on mine when she

answered me. "I want you to fuck me, Edward. Hard, and long, and good. I want you
to fuck me so hard that I won't be able to walk properly the next few days that I
have to be away from you."

My cock twitched and the muscles in my stomach clenched. Did my Bella really

just say that? I didn't waste any more time. I withdrew my fingers from her and
started spreading her honeyed liquid over my cock as I urged her to turn over. She
smirked at me when she rolled over and pushed up on her hands and knees.

Holy. Fuck.

She wiggled her ass at me invitingly and turned her head to watch over her

shoulder as I moved in behind her. My breath caught when I ran my hands down
over the swell of her ass and back up the sides of her creamy thighs and hips. I
grasped her hips with both hands and rubbed my shaft along the cleft of her ass,
letting the air in my lungs out with a whoosh at the feeling. Bella pushed back
against me and ground her ass against my dick.

"Come on, Edward, please?" She pushed hard against me and moved her hips in a

circle. I guessed she had enough of my teasing.

I released her hip with my right hand and grasped my cock placing it at her

opening. She was so wet that she was slippery so there was no resistance as I
pushed the head inside her. We both groaned as I continued to push forward,
burying myself within her folds. I grabbed her hips once more and held her steady
for a moment, wanting to feel her muscles clench and relax, accommodating my
size. She started to move before I did, rocking herself forward just a little and then
rocking back.

"Ungh… fuck." She felt so fucking good. She was tight, and warm, and wet, and…

fuck. I grasped her hips tightly and started to thrust into her, rocking my hips back
and forth, occasionally circling them, trying to touch all of her most sensitive spots.

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She moaned and rocked back against me, meeting every thrust. Our bodies were

moving in a perfect asynchronous movement, meeting directly in the middle each
and every time.

"Harder, Edward…" she panted. I was through trying to take it slow. I dug my

fingers into her sides and started slamming into her. I pulled back until my cock was
almost out of her and then pounded it back inside.

"Fuck… yes…" she cried, continuing to meet my thrusts. The harder I pounded,

the harder she slammed herself back against me, practically screaming. Her
vocalization was nearly my undoing. I slowed ever so slightly and ran my hands up
her back, feeling her muscles working as she threw the entire weight of her body
back into me over and over again.

"Touch yourself, Bella, come with me, baby," I whispered in a strangled voice.

She responded with something unintelligible and then I felt her fingers on me at

the place where we were joined, squeezing my cock as it drove in and out of her
sweet pussy.

"Ah, fuck… Bella…" Her fingers moved away but I felt them graze against my cock

occasionally as she rubbed her clit. I lost any modicum of control that I had left. As if
my hips had a mind of their own, I began to ram my cock into her as hard as I could.
Both of us were making guttural, primal sounds as our climaxes approached.

I felt her tighten around me and she slammed back against me hard. I steadied

her and continued to thrust against her, feeling her muscles contract in spasms
against my cock. Moments later, I came undone as I pulled her against me and
shuddered, crying out her name.

I collapsed against her back and we rolled in opposite directions, both desperately

trying to find our way back to the middle of the bed so we could hold each other.
Both of our bodies slid together as we were both covered in a light sheen of sweat.
Our lips met and we kissed each other languidly, enjoying the warm afterglow of our
lovemaking.

Bella buried her head in my chest and tucked herself in to my side. As our

breathing slowed, she whispered, "Edward? I love you so much."

I tightened my arm around her and leaned up to kiss her hair, inhaling everything

that was Bella whilst I did. I could smell the faint scent of her strawberry shampoo
mixed in with the scent of our sex that still lingered in the air. It was intoxicating.

- 217 -

She was intoxicating. "I love you, my Bella." She slid her arm across my stomach and
slowly I felt her relax as she fell asleep.

I couldn't go to sleep, no matter how hard I tried. I didn't want to give up a single

second that I could spend conscious in her presence. I lay there with my arm around
her, watching her as she slept. When she would stir, I would run my hand down her
back, or down her arm, and she would still. She talked in her sleep that night. Most
of what she said was unintelligible, but I heard her say my name more than once. I
smiled each time she did because I knew that she was dreaming about me, and that
was fine with me.

I thought about the way we had met while the moonlight streamed through the

window and glinted off her beautiful long hair. I traced the length of her arm while
musing about fate being so kind to me. I knew that fate, or something bigger than us
both, had played a big part in bringing us together, but fate had never really been
my friend. I never dreamed that she would be so kind to me as to bring me a
creature who was so beautiful, inside and out, serve her up to me on a silver platter,
and make her all mine.

Sometime, very early in the morning, I finally dozed off for a couple of hours.

When I awakened, Bella was smiling at me. She had raised up on her elbow and was
resting her chin on her hand that was firmly planted on my chest.

"Morning, my Bella." She smiled.

"I like when you call me 'my Bella'."

I chuckled at her. "You do, huh?"

She giggled and planted her lips firmly against mine. I didn't resist her, because I

couldn't. I made love to her again, and she made love to me.

Afterwards, we both got up and took a shower together, neither of us wanting to

part ways. As the time neared for me to leave, I became more miserable by the
minute. I didn't want to go and leave her there.

I made sure everything was taken care of and in place before I left. My father was

going to be accompanying Abby and Bella to the visitation on Saturday. Between
Demetri, Carlisle, and me, we had decided that this was the best course of action. I
could have sent Esme, but her history with the Denalis wasn't good and she would
be likely to be unable to hold her tongue. Esme was going to stay at my house and
be there for Bella when she returned in case there were any confrontations. I hoped

- 218 -

this wouldn't be the case, but I sure as hell wasn't holding my breath. Those people
were vicious. When Demetri, Carlisle, Rhianne, and me were all satisfied that we
had attended to every single detail, I went to tell Abby goodbye.

"Abby, baby, come here for a minute."

"What, Daddy?" She bounced over to me, her blonde curls bobbing on her head,

her smile infectious.

"Baby, Daddy has to go back to work for a couple of days, but you need to stay

here with Mary and Bella, okay?" She immediately stuck out her bottom lip.

"I wanna go."

"I know you do, baby, but you have to go see Grandma and Grandpa Denali

tomorrow. Aunt Kate and Aunt Irina will be there, too." She scrunched up her little
face into a scowl and crossed her arms. I had to really try to not chuckle at her.

"Do I have to?" I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. This wasn't going as well

as I had hoped for.

"Yeah, you have to. But, on Sunday, you can fly to Houston with Mary and Bella

and meet back up with me, okay?" She sat quietly for a minute, contemplating I
supposed. I wasn't sure exactly how a four year old's mind contemplated something,
but that was sure what she looked like she was doing.

"Bella's staying with me?" she asked with a hopeful look. I hugged her.

"Yes. Bella's staying with you."

"I don't hafta go to mommy's house?" My heart ached. What four-year-old child

should not want to see their mom? It pissed me off just as much as it hurt me.

"No. You don't have to go to mommy's house."

"Okay!" she said happily and threw her arms around my neck. I was glad that

things were that simple where that was concerned. I stood up and turned around
with Abby clinging to my neck and Bella was standing against the doorway smiling.

"We're going to be just fine, Edward. You don't have to worry so much."

"I know, but I do. You're my best girls. I don't want either of you hurting."

- 219 -

Bella kissed me on the cheek and then kissed Abby on the cheek. "Tell Daddy

goodbye, Abby. He has to go"

"Bye, Daddy!" she said while tightening her grip on my neck. I handed her to Bella

who followed me out and down the stairs. Mary met us in the foyer and said goodbye
before she took Abby from Bella and took her off to the back yard to play.

Rhianne was already out in the car, so all I had to do was say goodbye to Bella

before I left. I touched her cheek and held her face in my hand for a moment, trying
to convey with my eyes and touch how empty I already felt and I hadn't even left yet.

"I know, Edward. I feel it, too. Just go. We'll be fine. I'll see you Sunday, okay? Just

go. Please. Before I ask you not to."

I kissed her and whispered, "I love you," before I turned to walk out the door.

"Love you, too," she said to my retreating back. It sounded like she was crying. I

knew if I turned to look and saw her crying, I wouldn't leave, so I trudged down to
the limo and climbed in. I didn't look at her until I was safely behind the darkened
glass of the car. She was standing on the porch smiling and waving at me.

My Bella.

END NOTE: "Ascension" has been nominated for a Mystic Award for

having "THE Bella" in it. I'm so thrilled to have been nominated! Please
make your way over and vote for me if you've read "Ascension." I'd really
appreciate it!

themysticawards (DOT) webs (DOT) com / vote (DOT) htm.

The category is "Mrs. Perfect." If you haven't read "Ascension" and would

like to see how I thought "Breaking Dawn" should have gone, please read it
and then vote! :)

Denver, Dallas, Houston, New Orleans, Shreveport, Oklahoma City, Little

Rock, St. Louis, Kansas City, Omaha are all coming up. As soon as the next
chapter posts, we'll be moving through the tour a little faster so all of you
who are waiting for Velvet to hit your town, be ready, he's coming. :)

Velvet's Vixens' tour bus still has room for more passengers so review for

your VIP pass and bus ticket to go on tour with us! Amy tells me she's
installing a tub full of chocolate and naked Cullen boys in the bus. Sounds

- 220 -

good to me!

Before I shut the hell up and let you all click on the little box and leave me

some love, I must thank my preview team, you know who you are, for all of
the well-placed "GAHs" and "that was fuckhots" for this chapter!

Follow me on Twitter! www (DOT) twitter (DOT) com / JuJuRN40

*subliminal message* Review, Review, Review...

- 221 -

Confrontation

A/N What? Can it be? Two updates in one week?! Yep! I'm back with

another chapter! Hope you all enjoy this one. *evil grin* Please read
important A/N at the end!

Thank you Miss Lillie... Love you H&R!

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, or any of the real places, hotels, or anything else

mentioned in this chapter. I own this storyline and my OCs. I don't make money off
this venture, much to my husband's chagrin.

Bella

After Edward's limo pulled away from the house and down the drive, I sighed and

returned to the house. It was going to be a very long 48 hours without him. How I
had become so dependent on his presence in the short time we had been together, I
didn't know, but I did know that watching him leave punched a hole in my chest that
I knew wouldn't be filled until we were side by side again.

Ten minutes after he left, my cell phone rang. I giggled when I answered because

it was, of course, Edward.

"I miss you, too," was the first thing I said. He chuckled into the phone.

"Is it okay if I call you… a lot… while we're apart?" I felt a warming smile come

across my face without my even trying.

"As long as it's okay if I call you… a lot."

He laughed before telling me he would call or text when he got back to Denver. I

felt a little better when I hung up, but not much.

I spent the rest of the morning playing outside with Abby. After lunch, she went to

take a nap, and I went in search of my laptop. I sat down in front of it and opened
my email, surprised at how many emails I had. There were some from Rose, Alice,
Emmett, and even Jasper. Hell, there was even an email from Charlie. I opened it
first to see how bad it was. I was surprised to find that he was very apologetic for
how he had treated me when I called him. It made me feel much better to know that
I had the support of my dad behind me. Charlie and I hadn't always gotten along the

- 222 -

best, but he was essentially the only family I had.

Interestingly, I had an email from my mom, too. Renee was off with her baseball

player husband and had apparently seen my picture in the tabloids. Great. Her letter
was short. "What's going on?" was basically all that she said. I chose to answer that
one later. Much later.

I looked at all the emails from my friends and emailed each of them back

individually. They were all concerned about my well-being due to being the center of
attention by the paparazzi all of a sudden. I told them I was holding up. After I
emailed everyone, I turned on the television while I was surfing the net. The
television was set to MTV so I left it. I was sure there was some dumb show on that
could be noise for me while I tried not to think about Edward not being there.

Suddenly, I heard my name on the television. It caught my attention. Fast. I

looked up to see what was being said.

"Bella Swan, current love interest of EC Velvet, is said to be currently ensconced

in Velvet's Chicago mansion. Velvet is due at a concert in Denver tonight and
speculation is running high as to whether or not he will appear.

"Apparently, he's in a custody battle with his estranged ex-wife Tanya Denali over

their four-year-old daughter Abigail. Sources tell us that Denali is currently in jail,
but one has to wonder why Velvet took his new girlfriend and daughter to Chicago.

"Little is known about Bella Swan, who joined Velvet's tour in Seattle. She has

been working for the past couple of years as an English Literature professor at the
University of Washington in Seattle. It is not known whether she and Velvet knew
each other before or just recently met.

"Swan's ex-fiancé, Mike Newton, a resident of Seattle, tells MTV news that Swan

simply skipped town after Velvet appeared in Seattle nearly two weeks ago. Swan
has not been able to be reached for comment.

And then, much to my chagrin, there was the asshole on television in all of his

glory.

"Bella and I have been together off and on since high school. We were supposed to

be getting married this summer, but she took off again. She's always been mentally
unstable, especially after that incident with that kid from La Push. She takes off, she
comes back, it's just her deal. Dunno what she's running from, but I'll be here
waiting to pick up the pieces, as usual, when she comes back home."

- 223 -

"Rumors are running high that Newton is simply trying to make a name for

himself off the scandal and an unidentified friend of Swan's contacted several
tabloids and MTV News yesterday to warn them not to listen to Newton.

"Attempts to contact Swan's father, Forks, Washington Chief of Police Charles

Swan, have been unsuccessful.

"MTV News will be in Denver tonight to see if Velvet shows up for his

performance and whether or not Swan is with him.

"More on that later. In other news…"

Fucking. Newton. I turned off the television and slammed my laptop closed. I was

fuming. I didn't want to bother Edward, so I called Alice. I told her what had been
said and she was fully supportive of me.

"Rose, Emmett, Jas, and I are prepared to do whatever we can do in your defense

Bella. Newton's a prick. He just wants to ride on your coattails."

"Who called the tabloids?" Alice hesitated. I knew it wasn't her, but I had my

suspicions that it was Jasper. "Was it Jas?"

"I can't really say, but…"

"Okay. That's all I wanted to know."

We went on to chitchat about her wedding plans and other things that I had

missed in the last couple of weeks. Apparently, Emmett had been arrested for
'stalking' Newton and I laughed my ass off about that. He was parked outside Mike's
apartment waiting for him. I guess Mike was scared to get the shit beat out of him
again and called the police to remove Emmett so he could leave his apartment. I
wondered how much media attention Tanya would be trying to get if she were out of
jail.

Once Edward arrived in Denver, he called again. I tried to decide whether to tell

him about MTV News, but I didn't have to.

"Well, I got a warm welcome when I arrived back here."

"How's that?"

"Fuckin' MTV News was here shoving a god damn microphone in my face the

- 224 -

minute I got out of the limo. Do you know what that fucker Newton did?" I sighed.

"Yeah, I know. I saw it on MTV News right after you left. I turned it off. I was just

trying to decide whether or not to tell you."

"Well, you can turn it back on if you want. I think I cleared a few things up for

them. If you hate me after you hear what I had to say, I guess that'll be the
consequences of my actions." He didn't sound very convinced that I would hate him,
and he should have known that I wouldn't. But, that's just the way Edward operated.
Everyone else he loved had abandoned him in one way or another through his life,
so I guess he was ready for me to split, too. I needed to reassure him that I wasn't
going to.

"Edward, listen to me. I'm not going anywhere. I'm sure that whatever you said

was fine. I'm pissed off at Mike, not you. I'm not going to hate you, ever. I love you."

"I'm sorry. I just… worry."

"I know, and you need to stop it. Granted, I had no clue what the hell I was getting

myself into, but it doesn't matter. None of it matters. What does matter is that I love
you and I want to be with you. I don't care about all that crap."

"I love you, too. You care, you just aren't letting it get in your way, and I

appreciate that."

"Right. You're welcome." Edward chuckled and I knew that everything was alright

again. For a guy who was so sure of himself when he was in the spotlight, he sure
was insecure in the real world. That bitch Tanya must really have done a number on
him. Was it possible to hate someone you had never met? Yep, with her, it was.

After we hung up, I turned the TV back on and watched until MTV News came on

again.

"This is Kurt Loder with MTV News. I have an update on the EC Velvet scandal

that is unfolding before our very eyes as his "Heartache & Misery World Tour" is
taking the nation by storm. I had an opportunity to speak with Velvet just moments
ago when he arrived at Red Rocks Amphitheatre to prepare for his upcoming show
tonight. He had this to say."

They cut to a scene of Edward, looking sexy as fuck, stepping out of his limo. God

I missed him so damn much already. The MTV News crew accosted him immediately
as he waved at a gathering of nearby fans.

- 225 -

"Ya know, you guys probably all should have asked me before trying to dig up

what you could find on Bella. Newton's her ex-fiancé all right. He's an ex. Get a clue.
The story that I got from Bella AND her friends was that Newton was an abuser. He
abused her mentally, emotionally, and physically. It's a wonder she got away from
his ass at all. She's not mentally unstable and she's not available for comment right
now. We met in Seattle in person, but had been corresponding by letter, email, and
telephone for several months before that. She's an amazing woman but she's very
shy and not used to all this media attention. If you guys would all just back the hell
off for a little while, when she's ready, you can all meet her. I guarantee you'll all fall
in love with her just like I have."

My heart melted watching Edward on the TV. It was surreal. There he was on

national television defending me and proclaiming his love for me. I was astonished
that he had actually revealed that much about his real life as he rarely talked about
it in interviews. I turned the idiot box off. I had seen all I needed to. Edward was
going to take care of me just like I was going to take care of him and really… what
else is there? Taking care of each other was the best we could do.

Saturday morning came far too early for my liking. I had been up on the phone

with Edward very late the night before. He was pretty hyped after the show and had
called me no less than three times. It sounded like he was partying quite a bit and it
was kind of funny to have your rapper boyfriend drunk dialing you at three in the
morning just so he could giggle into the phone and tell you how much he missed you
and just wanted to hear your voice. From the sounds of it, he was still partying the
last time he called me. I vaguely wondered exactly how drunk he was. He tended not
to get too plastered when I was with him. He was kinda funny when he was drunk
though.

We were due for the visitation at nine so I crawled out of bed, showered, and then

spent a half hour trying to decide what to wear. I finally called Alice for couture
advice and forgot that it was two hours earlier in Seattle so I woke her up at like
5:30 in the morning. Of course, ADHD-girl that she was, she didn't care. It sounded
like she bounded out of bed and started bouncing around to talk to me. I missed
Alice and wondered when I would see her next.

With Alice's help, I chose a pair of casual designer slacks and a blouse. Nice, but

not too nice. I needed to look like I had my shit together, but not like I was being a
fucking snob, as Alice had put it.

Mary had Abby ready to go by eight and we met in the kitchen to eat breakfast

and get on our way. Edward's dad showed up about five after eight and was
incredibly nice to me after our meeting a couple of days before. I was grateful for his

- 226 -

support and apologies. He told me he realized that his comments were misplaced
and that I could depend on him and Esme for anything I might need during the
upcoming months of hell. I had responded that what I needed most was for him to
support Edward, which I think surprised him at the time, but now that he knows me,
it doesn't surprise him at all anymore.

We arrived at Millennium Park just before nine. It was the designated meeting

place. Edward had rented a suite at The Palmer House hotel just around the corner
for the day, but we were all to meet out in the open before going there. Abby was
restless and kept asking Mary and me if we were staying with her. We assured her
we weren't going anywhere multiple times, but she continued to ask anyway. We
were sitting on a bench near "The Crown Fountain" watching the faces change when
the Denali clan arrived.

"Here they come," Carlisle said in a hushed voice to get my attention and pointed

them out.

When they arrived, Abby didn't run to them, she didn't even move away from me.

She just gripped my hand tighter. Carlisle handled the introductions and Tanya's
sister Kate walked over and picked Abby up after we had all been introduced. Abby
immediately started crying and reaching for me.

"It's okay, Abby. I'm not leaving. Go see your aunts and your grandparents. I'll be

right behind you." Apparently, that was the wrong thing to say.

"What right do you even have to be here?" Tanya's mother, Carmen, asked in a

rather snotty tone.

I glanced at Carlisle and said, "Abby and Edward asked me to be here. It was

cleared with the attorneys and the judge. If you have a problem with it, I suggest
you take it up with them when Abby's not around." Carlisle patted me on the back
and we started following the group down the street to the hotel.

The suite had a bedroom, dining room, and living area in addition to the

bathroom. Carlisle, Mary, and I went to the bedroom and left the door open. The
court appointed person who was to 'officially' supervise the visit remained in the
living area with Abby and the Denalis and I found it rather hilarious that she chose
to remain with them. The three of us had each brought books and laptops so we
were able to entertain ourselves for the four-hour visit. Abby appeared in the
doorway several times and just looked in at us. She would wave at us when we saw
her and run back to playing in the other room. I strained my ears to hear what was
being said, but all of their voices were hushed. It irritated me.

- 227 -

Two hours into the visit there was a knock at the door of the suite. I looked over at

Carlisle who looked back at me and shrugged. He got out of the chair he was sitting
in next to the window to see what was going on. I thought maybe lunch was being
delivered. Oh, if it had only been that easy.

"What's she doing here?" Carlisle seethed as he walked into the other room. I

tossed my laptop on the bed and high-tailed it out to the living area. There she was.
The bitch that started it all. Tanya. She was in an orange jumpsuit, handcuffs, and
flanked on both sides by policemen. I immediately whipped out my phone and texted
Edward. This wasn't going to be good.

After the door closed, the cops took her handcuffs off and she ran over to Abby

who looked terrified.

"Noooooo! Don't want you!" Abby screamed when Tanya picked her up.

"Abby, it's Mommy! Come on, give me a hug and kisses! I've missed you!" I was

pretty sure I was going to be sick to my stomach. My phone started vibrating and I
stepped back into the bedroom to talk to Edward. I slammed the door as I answered
the phone.

"What the fuck is she doing there?" Edward yelled into the phone.

"I have no idea, Edward. She just showed up. Nobody said a word to any of us

about it. Edward, she was handcuffed and accompanied by two cops when she got
here. Abby SAW her mother like that. I don't know what to do."

"Is that Abby screaming?"

"Yeah, Tanya picked her up and she started screaming."

"Get back out there. Don't let that bitch out of your sight. I'm calling Demetri."

I walked back into the living room to find Carlisle arguing with Tanya.

"She obviously doesn't want you holding her, Tanya. Put her down."

Kate stepped in. "Tanya's her mother and she has more right to be here than that

slut does!" She pointed at me.

"Watch who you're calling a slut. I'm here for Abby and all of you need to quit

arguing in front of her." I stared right at Tanya who was smirking at me.

- 228 -

Tanya was a little taller than me with strawberry blonde hair and hazel eyes. She

was pretty, but looked as though she had been ridden hard and put away wet a few
times. She wasn't wearing any makeup and her hair was in a loose pony-tail at the
back of her neck. The orange jumpsuit was definitely not her color and I could tell
that she was thin. Very thin. She tried to stare me down, but I wasn't about to avert
my eyes. Abby was fighting her and trying to get away from her so she finally set her
back on the floor in exasperation. Abby immediately ran over to me and I picked her
up.

"This wasn't part of the deal. Why weren't we informed you were coming?" I asked

Tanya directly.

"Well, bitch, I don't have to inform you of shit. My father and my attorney made

the arrangements for me to be here this morning. She's my daughter. Put her down
and get the fuck out."

Abby was sobbing on my shoulder and clinging to me for dear life. I couldn't

possibly put her down; she'd never trust me again if I did. I was appalled at Tanya's
language in front of her daughter and didn't want Abby to be a part of it anymore.

The court appointed 'supervisor' just sat there like a freaking bump on a log. She

looked around at all of us with wide eyes, but didn't say a damn word. It was a good
thing I was trying to calm Abby down because otherwise I probably would have
knocked her ass out on my way to knock the shit out of that bitch who called herself
a mother.

"I've called Edward who's calling his attorney. I'm taking her in here to calm her

down until he calls back. Don't mess with me, Tanya. You may have thought you
were able to push Edward around before, but I assure you that I'm here to stay and
we're prepared to play hardball. Nobody is cowering down to your demands
anymore."

"Don't threaten me you fuckin' bitch!" she screamed. "Give me my daughter!" She

started to cross the room and I backed into the bedroom and slammed the door in
her face as the officers each grabbed her arms. She started pounding on the door
and screaming at me and I could hear the scuffle as the officers took her down
outside the door. I retreated to the bathroom and locked the bathroom door before
sitting down on the floor with Abby and we both cried. I cried because Abby had to
witness that, and Abby cried because she was so freaked out that she couldn't stop.

Edward called back a moment later and said that Demetri had been across the

street from the Palmer at his office and was on the way over. I told him, skipping a

- 229 -

few details, what had happened. He. Was. Pissed. He thanked me multiple times for
being there for Abby before asking to talk to her. I gave her the phone and she was
still sniffling and hiccupping while she talked to him, but he seemed to be able to
calm her down. Mary knocked on the bathroom door and when I stood to let her in,
Abby jumped on me. I picked her up and reassured her that it was just Mary.

When Demetri arrived, Tanya was still throwing a fit, although she was restrained

and in handcuffs, according to what Mary told me. The officers were threatening to
take her back to jail if she didn't calm down, but Eleazar, Tanya's dad, had
convinced them to let her stay for a few minutes. After all, I had kidnapped (I know,
I said "What the fuck?" too) her daughter and locked her in a bathroom and she only
had an hour to be able to see her.

When all was said and done, Demetri came and told me that I didn't have to make

Abby go out and see Tanya since it hadn't been cleared by the judge. He had, in fact,
called the judge and the judge was highly unhappy at the turn things had taken. The
'supervisor' had been fired on the spot over the phone by the judge. That was good
riddance as far as I was concerned.

Tanya was removed by the cops that accompanied her, but Tanya's family was

demanding to have the rest of their time with Abby.

"Demetri, there's no way I'm making her go back out there with those people. God

knows what crap they would try to fill her head with and I JUST got her calmed
down. Isn't there any way to end the visit now?"

Demetri nodded and fished out his cell. He called Edward first, and then the

judge. After about two minutes on the phone, he nodded to me and said, "Done. I'll
be right back."

He walked back out to deliver the news to the Denalis. I heard Eleazar, Irina, and

Kate all start yelling. I just tried to cover Abby's ears and talk to her to keep her
calm. I assured her that I wasn't making her go back out there and that we would
get home as quickly as we could. When the yelling stopped and I heard the door
close, Demetri came back to the bedroom door and motioned me out. He sat down
with Carlisle and me to talk to us about things. Abby stayed close by with Mary, but
was watching television and no longer crying.

We took Abby home, fed her lunch, and Mary went to lay her down for a nap. I

was so relieved the whole thing was over. While she was napping, I sat down with
Carlisle and Esme for a bit and we all found that this meeting went over much better
than our last. They both even thanked me for being so supportive of Edward and

- 230 -

promised to do whatever they could for us.

That afternoon, Demetri came over and we had a conference call with him,

Edward, and the judge to report what had happened. I had to be the star witness for
that and didn't care for it at all, but I told the story exactly as it had happened.

Edward asked for all visitation to be stopped and the judge agreed. Demetri said

he would draw up the papers for temporary sole custody and have them signed by
the judge on Monday. This was going to accomplish a couple of things. One, we
wouldn't have to bring Abby to Chicago every two weeks for visits, Two, we'd be
able to take her out of the country without Tanya's consent. The fact that it would
protect Abby from having to see those people was a given.

Demetri also said he was filing new custody documents for the final trial for sole

custody for Edward. The judge laid out a few things that he would like to see proof
of over the next weeks, like how we were managing Abby on the road, what her
schedule was, etc. I was even more thankful for Mary than I had been before. She
would make sure that all the appropriate paperwork was filled out and that Abby's
schedule was maintained.

Tanya's sentencing hearing for her drug and prostitution charges was coming up

the following week. Our judge made sure we understood that he would speak with
the judge that was overseeing that trial and make sure he knew what had happened
with Tanya at the visitation. He speculated that she could be looking at some serious
jail time. I was thrilled at that prospect.

The day ended with a family dinner courtesy of Esme. It was a good end to a

terrible day. Abby was very clingy to me after her nap and throughout dinner. I felt
terrible for her and would be glad when we were back with Edward.

That night after Edward's show in Dallas, he had apparently gone directly to the

bus and called me. We were on the phone forever it seemed. We talked about things
so easily, it was as though we had been together forever, not just for a few weeks. I
found myself thinking of being with Edward in terms of eternity and had never felt
that way about anyone before. Something in me told me that Edward and I were
meant to be together more than ever.

Sunday morning, Abby, Mary, and I flew to Houston to meet Edward. He looked

exhausted, but thrilled to see us. Abby was mighty happy to see her daddy, too. We
quickly settled back in together and embarked on the tour with a newfound
enthusiasm.

- 231 -

Sunday night Edward played Houston and then we headed for New Orleans

sometime in the middle of the night. We awakened in New Orleans on Monday
morning and it was so damn hot! Being from Seattle, I had never quite experienced
heat and humidity like was present in the south and I found myself rather miserable
and feeling really lazy, only wanting to lounge around in the air conditioning.

We received faxes of paperwork from Demetri on Monday who promised that the

originals would be delivered in person on Tuesday in Shreveport. We read the
papers over carefully and were both satisfied that Demetri had covered everything.
Edward was pleased and so was I. Things finally seemed to be coming together for
us.

Monday night after the concert, Edward took me out to Bourbon Street and even

though paparazzi were following us snapping pictures everywhere we went, we
were surrounded by bodyguards, all of Edward's crew was with us, and we were
accosted by fans wanting autographs everywhere we went, we had a great time
together. I loved watching Edward work a crowd of fans. He was so different than
he was when we were alone. He introduced me to several groups of fans and
although I was embarrassed and my cheeks flushed every time he did, I always
smiled, waved, and said "Hi!" to them.

The next day we went to Shreveport and I slept almost all day. I didn't know how

Edward did it with all the traveling. I had gotten pretty smashed the night before
and then Edward and I had been up much of the night worshipping each other in our
drunken stupor. One thing about Edward was that drunk sex with EC Velvet was
every bit as good as sober sex with Edward.

From Shreveport we went to Little Rock, had a day off, and went to Oklahoma

City. Then we traveled to St. Louis, Kansas City, and Omaha over the next three
days. Mary was doing a great job with Abby and Abby seemed to be happy to be with
us. We had all of our paperwork in place so when it was time to leave the country,
we could take her and go.

After Omaha, we had a few days off as we traversed to Columbus, Ohio. Edward

had been invited to play at Horseshoe Stadium at The Ohio State University, which
was apparently a big honor. It seemed that some of the alumni who were big
contributors were fans and made it possible for him to get the invite. Edward was
really excited about it and said that the stadium would house over 100,000 fans and
that the show was sold out. Edward's excitement was infectious and I found myself
excited as well. But, what I was most excited about was a few days off with Edward.

We pulled into Columbus late Monday night for a Thursday show. I was so

- 232 -

relieved that we had the time off. Edward had several appearances planned, but he
wasn't too terribly booked. We checked in to a hotel called "The Lofts" and had a
beautiful suite.

Tuesday morning we slept in until eleven. We were so tired! Abby was already up

and running up and down the hall outside of our room. With all of us who were
staying there, we had an entire floor of the hotel to ourselves so Abby and Mary had
their own suite next door to ours. We opened our door to let Abby in and she came
running, all giggles and smiles. We spent the better part of two hours just playing
with her, all of us sitting on the floor laughing and giggling.

Mary came and got Abby to put her down for her nap after lunch so Edward and I

decided to go out exploring. We put on our silly disguises and picked up the
bodyguards in the hallway before hopping on the elevator to go downstairs. When
the elevator opened, I took one look at who was standing in the hotel lobby and
fainted, dead away.

End Note: So, we're in Columbus, Ohio. Next up is Cincinnati, Detroit, and

Minneapolis! Review for Velvet's Vixens bus pass and VIP passes to shows in
your city! Now for a bit of important business.

Please vote for me in The Mystic Awards. Ascension was nominated for

Best Bella and I'm really excited about that!

Any of you who have been with me very long realize that I owe my fanfic

writing career to Miss Lillie Cullen. She's my beta, among other things, and
a wonderful friend to me. I have an important announcement from her
regarding an original story that she is writing. It is AMAZING! PLEASE trust
me on this! It's her best work by far and I would love for every one of my
readers to go to the site, register, vote, follow it, and show her some love!
Also, she posted the first chapter of the final installment of "The Lessons
Trilogy" today, A Lesson in Love, so after you go read her original story,
come back to FFn and read ALIL. You won't be sorry!

www(dot)textnovel(dot)com/stories_list_?story_id=1521 You know the drill

of removing the (dot )'s….

What follows is per Lillie, her official announcement of the original story!

- 233 -

Manhunt - An Original Romantic Suspense Novel by Lillie Cullenhttp://

www . textnovel . com / stories_list_detail . php?story_id=1521Take out the
spaces or click link on my profile (Lillie's which can be found on mine)

Michael Brennan and Nikki Wright shared a bond created by love, loss, and

hardship. Michael's life was finally taking a turn for the better while Nikki's was
descending into darkness, until one fateful night changed everything. Just how much
is Michael willing to give up for love? How far is he willing to run?

"Have you seen this man? His name is Michael Brennan and he has been identified

by Federal authorities as a person of interest in the shooting death of Sebastian
Cross and the disappearance of Nicole Wright. Anyone with information regarding
the whereabouts of Michael Brennan should call the Federal Crimestoppers Alert
line at 888-555-1234. Coming up next on News at 11..."

This story has been on my mind for a long time. I even considered altering it and

making it a Darkward fanfiction story at one point, but ultimately realized that it
would be like trying to fit a square peg in a round hole. These characters needed to
stand on their own two feet. Eight chapters have been posted so far, and if I may be
so humble, I believe it is my best work to date.

You need to create a login at textnovel to read it, it will lead you to where you

need to go. The story's rating is determined by the number of votes (thumbs up
button) and story alerts (cell phone button) the story receives, which means each
reader can add two points to my rating! Going to my profile and clicking "Follow"
will put me on author alert. The only downside to this site is the fact that it limits
each chapter posting to 500 words, which means you'll be clicking the 'next' button -
a lot. But from what I've been told...it's more than worth it. :) Can't wait to hear
what you think of it!

Please help me get the word out about Manhunt. Tell your friends, put it on your

blog and in your author's notes, Twitter it...you get the idea! Thank you so much for
your support - I love you all!

Uh, don't forget to clicky on the little button right below here and leave

me a review before you do anything else! Thanks!

- 234 -

Conundrum

A/N Hi everyone! This chapter was utter FAIL for me for the last 10 days,

but I think I finally got it where I want it. Let me know what you think. ;)

I need to send HUGE thank yous to EVERYONE who helped me with this

chapter. All of you who held my hand, backed me off the ledge, assured me
that it didn't suck, begged me not to delete it and start over... I love you
guys. Amy, Tami, Nan, Tammy, and Lea... I love you all HARD.

Lea and Tammy ~ Thank you SO MUCH for pinch hit beta'ing for me while

Lillie is basking in the sun on her vacay!

Disclaimer: Characters from Twilight are not owned by me, they are owned by

Stephenie Meyer. Lucky bitch. This story line and all of my own characters,
however, ARE owned by me, so there.

Edward

Sonofabitch what's that motherfucker doing here?

Just as I saw him, Bella made a tiny noise and started to go down. I caught her just

before she hit the floor of the elevator. "Get him out of here!" I seethed at my
bodyguards as I sat down against the wall and tried to wake Bella. I had expected
there to be people she knew in the lobby, but not that asshole. The elevator doors
started to close when he started running towards them.

"Bella! Get away from that dickhead right now!"

The doors closed before he made it to them and he was met with the angry faces

of two of my personal bodyguards. These weren't the hired help that were along for
the tour, no, these were the guys that protected me and my family all the time. It
wasn't going to be pretty for that motherfucker, and I preferred the less pretty the
better. I hoped they laid his ass out.

I gently laid Bella on the floor and hit the button to take us back to our floor. She

was still out cold and it was worrying me a little. I gathered her back into my arms
and stood, looking down at her. I noticed that she was extremely pale and had dark
circles under her eyes. Fuck. She's fucking exhausted. Why didn't I notice this?

- 235 -

Shitdamnfuckpisshell.

When I got her back into our room, I laid her on the bed and went to get a cold

washcloth for her. I sat next to her and began sponging her face with the washcloth
hoping she would wake up soon. When she did, I kind of wished she hadn't. She sat
straight up on the bed and started screaming.

"No! Get him out of here! Edward!"

"Bella, shhh, it's alright. I'm here." She looked at me with wild eyes and burst into

tears.

"Wha… what happened?"

"You fainted, baby. Are you okay?" Her breathing was erratic and I held her close

to me, trying to calm her down, but she was kind of freaking me the fuck out.
Finally, she sank into my arms and started to calm down, but only a little.

"Oh my God, Edward, can anything else happen to us?" I smiled because I knew

that a lot more could happen. I just knew I didn't want anything else to happen.

"It's not your fault, Bella. I'm sure he's here because of what I told the reporters in

Denver. It's been plastered all over all the newspapers, tabloids, and on television
for a few days now. I'm sure he's pissed."

"It doesn't matter. He has no right!" I just wanted her to calm down and rest. She

didn't look good, and sounded a little short of breath.

"Bella? Have you been feeling okay, babe? You don't look so good." She shrugged,

as I expected her to.

"I'm just a little tired. I'm okay."

"I think you're more than just a little tired. I want you to change into something

comfy and stay in bed today, okay? I think you need some rest. You look fucking
exhausted. I'm going back downstairs while you get changed, but I'll be back as
soon as I see what's going on down there." I kissed her on the forehead and hugged
her tight. She was short of breath, nearly panting, and not in the good way.

"Okay, okay, I'll stay in bed, if you'll come back and stay with me."

"Are you alright? You're still shaking. You really need to calm down, Bella. I'm not

- 236 -

letting that jackass anywhere near you. You know that, right?"

"Yeah, I'm okay. Just spooked. I'll be fine, really."

"Uh huh."

"I promise, I'm fine, Edward."

"Okay, I'll be back." She wasn't going to give an inch and I really didn't want to

argue with her.

"Okay… Edward?"

"What, baby?"

"I love you." I smiled. Those words were the most precious words I could ever

hear from her.

"Love you, too, Bella." I headed down the hall to the elevator and waited

impatiently for it to take me back down to the lobby to see what the hell was
happening.

This time when the elevator opened, there was nobody in the lobby, but there

were sure a hell of a lot of people outside, including two cop cars. Shit.

I strolled out to see what was up and saw a very bloody Mike Newton laying on

the ground rolled up in a ball. Fuck, he may as well have been crying for his
mommy. Surrounding him were my two bodyguards, Emmett, Jasper, and four cops.
Alice and Rosalie were leaning against the limo that was parked in the drive. When
they saw me come out, Alice started bouncing towards me.

"Where's Bella? Upstairs?"

"Yeah, she fainted."

"She what?" Rosalie asked.

"She fainted. She's exhausted I think. I'm trying to decide whether to let her try to

sleep it off here or take her to the hospital. I think she's just had more than she can
handle the last few weeks. It's my fault." I was really ashamed of myself for letting
Bella get that tired. I'd been in the hospital for exhaustion before. It wasn't fun. But,
it was easy to do when you were on the road like we were, and all the bullshit with

- 237 -

Tanya's family had taken its toll. I began to worry about Abby, but I knew that Mary
was keeping her on a tight schedule. I, on the other hand, was keeping Bella out at
concerts late at night, keeping her awake for hours afterwards, making her sleep on
a damn bus… I should have been shot. I had forgotten how hard it was the first time.

Alice and Rosalie both looked at me sympathetically. I was surprised at Rose,

because I figured she'd kill me, but she was genuine in her concern. Miracles do
happen.

"Edward, come on, it's not your fault. Can we go up and see her? Maybe we can

help take care of her for a few days, right Rosalie?"

"Absolutely. We don't have to be out running around with her to enjoy seeing her."

I handed Rosalie the keycard to the room and told them which room it was. They

took off to see her and I went to find out what had happened with the douche.
Emmett was arguing with the cop when I got over to the scene of Mike's apparent
beating.

"Dude, he was stalking his ex-girlfriend. I was just protecting her!"

"Sir, you need to calm down and have a seat over there on that bench. I'll get to

you."

Emmett threw his head around in a circle like a little kid and stomped over to the

indicated bench to sit. He crossed his arms and sat there staring, making me think
that if he ever wanted a job, he could certainly be one of my bodyguards. The guy
was huge. He was taller than me, which is kind of amazing because I'm 6'3". Must
have made him about 6'4" at least. He had gigantic arms and huge hands. He looked
almost like a damn bodybuilder. Rosalie and him just didn't add up in my brain, but
they seemed to be crazy about each other.

I tapped Matt on the shoulder and he said, "The big blonde haired guy got to him

first." I nodded. Should have known. Emmett and the group must have been right
outside the doors waiting on us when we went down. As soon as Mike came out the
door, Emmett had snagged him.

I walked over to the nearest police officer who was writing on his little pad and

stuck my hand out. "Hello, officer. I'm Edward Cullen. What seems to be the
problem here?"

He regarded me briefly before answering. "You're that rapper guy, right?"

- 238 -

I chuckled. "Yeah. I'm that rapper guy." I gestured to Emmett, Jasper, and my

other two bodyguards and said, "These guys are my bodyguards. This guy here," I
pointed at Newton, still lying on the ground, "is my girlfriend's ex. He's been
stalking her and causing quite a bit of trouble for her while she's been on tour with
me. If you need to arrest someone here, arrest me. I told them to get rid of him. I
didn't mean for them to kill him or anything, I just didn't want him bothering her
anymore. She's upstairs because she fainted when she saw him. He really scares
her." I tried not to look too smug as Emmett stared at me incredulously and Newton
rolled around on the ground and moaned in pain.

"All four of these men are your bodyguards?"

"Yes, sir." The officer looked over at Emmett who was trying like hell to look

innocent.

"That true?"

"Yeah, uh… it is… sir." Emmett nodded his head as if to punctuate the truthfulness

of our lie.

The police officer shoved his notebook into his shirt pocket, then took it out again

and handed it to me. "Could I, uh, get your autograph for my kid?" I smiled and took
the notebook. Ducks in a barrel.

I signed autographs for all four officers and they picked up Newton and threw him

in the back of a police car. "We'll see that he gets medical attention and gets on a
plane back to wherever he came from," one of the cops assured me, "Unless you
want to press charges?"

"Seattle. Just send his ass back to Seattle. Make sure he doesn't feel the need to

follow Bella around anymore."

"Sure thing, Mr. Cullen. Thank you."

I noticed that Jasper was casually leaning against a pillar and staring at me. I

looked at him after the cops pulled away.

"You lied," he drawled slowly.

"Yeah."

"Newton's gonna tell them the truth."

- 239 -

"So?" I wasn't really sure what Jasper was getting at.

"The son of a bitch will be back unless something of more of a permanent nature

is done." I glanced around to make sure we hadn't gathered a crowd, which
thankfully, we hadn't. Yet.

"Let's discuss this inside, Jasper."

"Alright," he said as he headed in the door. We all got in the elevator and I noted

that Jasper was texting someone on his cell. I turned to look the other direction, as I
wasn't sure what he was up to.

When we arrived at my hotel room door, I turned to him and asked what he

meant.

"I just mean that somebody needs to put the fear of God in that asshole. He needs

to leave her alone, privately and publicly. I'm gonna take care of it, but I don't want
the girls knowing anything about it. It stays between us guys."

"Agreed." I had no idea what Jasper was going to do, but I was pretty sure at that

point that I didn't want to know. He sounded like he meant business.

Jasper was oddly calming when he spoke and I thought about this as we entered

the room. He was my height, but more lanky than me. His blonde hair and bright
blue eyes were in stark contrast of his dark demeanor. He wasn't exactly
frightening, just quiet, and calm. Always calm. He was Alice's polar opposite, which
was probably why they worked so well together.

The squeals of three best friends who had been reunited assaulted our ears as we

entered the suite. I could hear Bella's laughter, which sounded like Christmas bells
to me, and it sounded wonderful. I was really happy that I had arranged for her
friends to meet us. It would be good for her to have them around for a few days.
Alice was talking a mile a minute and her speech was laced with tinkling laughter,
so different from Bella's. I could also hear Rosalie talking occasionally, whose voice
was a little deeper than Bella and Alice's, not to mention the fact that she just
sounded naturally bitchy. She and Emmett, too, were polar opposites. He was
happy-go-lucky while Rosalie was all business and… bitchy. There was no other way
to describe her.

I strolled over and leaned against the doorjamb of the bedroom, arms and ankles

crossed, and smiled at my girl who looked like she was having the time of her life,
even if she was fucking exhausted.

- 240 -

"Edward! Oh my God!" she shouted and hopped off the bed to run over to me and

hug me.

"You like your surprise, baby?"

"What, are you kidding? It's so great to see my friends. Thank you, Edward, so

much."

I kissed the top of her head before telling her, "You're welcome, babe. I'd do

anything to see you smile like that." I meant it. I would. She had the most beautiful
smile that lit up her whole face, including her eyes.

Bella released me and charged into the other room to greet Jasper and Emmett

who both had hugs waiting for her. I watched the reunion of the friends and thought
how lucky Bella was to have this group of friends that loved her so much. Jasper
embraced her gently and talked quietly to her when she greeted him. The entire
room was awash with his sincerity and kindness. Jasper was such a mystery to me.
Who was he, really? Emmett, on the other hand, picked her up and swung her
around in a big circle with a hearty laugh.

"Bells! You're too skinny!" he scolded. I winced. She was too skinny. When had she

had time to lose so much weight in a few short weeks we had been together?

Bella smacked him on the shoulder. "I'm not too skinny, Em. You just don't

remember!" Emmett grinned and scooped her up, holding her over his head. She
was damn near on the ceiling.

"Nope, too skinny. What's he been feeding you? Tofu?"

The entire room erupted into laughter and I walked over and called room service

to bring a meal up for us. I made sure that I asked for plenty, and they ended up
bringing us a veritable buffet of delicious food.

The rest of the afternoon, Emmett, Jasper, and I hung out, played video games,

and drank beer. Bella, Alice, and Rosalie watched movies while Bella rested in bed. I
peeked in on her a few times, and noticed that she seemed to keep nodding off, but
then waking herself up. I wanted to take everyone out to dinner, but didn't want to
make Bella get out of bed, so I arranged for Emmett, Jasper, Rosalie, and Alice to go
out to dinner without us that night and ordered more room service for Bella and me.
Thankfully, Mary had taken Abby to the zoo for the day so I didn't have to worry
about her being involved with any of the day's drama.

- 241 -

Before the gang left for dinner, Rhianne made sure that they had the keys to their

own suites and knew which ones they were. No one argued that Bella and I weren't
going. Her friends could all see the frail shape she was in. I decided I was going to
call Carlisle for advice.

He insisted on having a colleague of his that practiced in Columbus come to the

hotel and have a look at Bella. She protested, but finally gave in when I told her she
didn't have a choice. She either had to let the doctor come and take a look at her or
I was sending her back to Seattle for a few weeks. I didn't want her to go, but the
tour and all the emotional bullshit we had endured the past few weeks was really
getting to her, and I knew it.

The doc came after dinner and told me what I had feared. She was physically and

emotionally exhausted. She had lost fifteen pounds in the last month and she needed
some rest. She was also a little anemic and a lot dehydrated and needed some IV
fluids. He asked me to have her drink as much as I could that night and he would
bring the IV fluids over in the morning, avoiding admitting her to the hospital. I
appreciated that, and called Rhianne to make alternate arrangements for Bella's and
my travel for the next leg of the tour. We would soon be back in Chicago for a few
days, and for that I was glad. I would better be able to take care of her at home.

Rhianne, of course, had already consulted with Stefan, and they had made

arrangements for the plane to take Bella, Abby, Mary, and me to each city for the
next several shows. We already had hotel reservations in each city and everything
was set. We would travel with a couple of bodyguards and the rest of the guys would
keep to the busses. Stefan had already talked it over with them and they had agreed
that since Bella and Abby were traveling with me that it made sense for us to fly
rather than do the bus thing. If Rhianne ever left me, I'd be totally fucked. She
thought of everything before I did.

I went back to Bella and crawled on the bed pulling her to me. She scooted up

between my legs and laid her head back against my chest while we watched "Gone
In 60 Seconds" on TV.

"What did the doctor say?" Bella waited quite a while before asking, but I knew

she would ask. I was prepared to argue with her about taking care of herself.

"He said you've lost fifteen pounds. Why didn't you tell me?" She sat there silently

for a few moments and when I looked down at her, I saw that she was chewing on
her bottom lip. It was just fucking adorable when she did that. I longed to lean down
and suck her bottom lip into my mouth and take over for her, but was trying to be
good. The last thing she needed was a marathon fuck. She needed to rest. Still, it

- 242 -

was hard to keep my hands and mouth to myself, and my dick was no help at all.

"I was afraid you'd send me home."

I wanted to kick myself right square in the ass. Why had I threatened to send her

home earlier when that was what she had feared the most? Shit. I'm so fuckin'
stupid sometimes, I swear.

"Bella." I pulled her up so that I could look at her and she could see my face when

I said what I needed to say. "Being on the road isn't easy. It's taken me years to get
to the point where I don't have the very same reaction that you're having. This is all
my fucking fault. I've forgotten how hard it is when you've never done it before. I
didn't even think about it when I asked you to come with me. I was just being
fucking selfish. I didn't want to be without you. I feel better when you're with me, I
feel whole, but I can't feel that way when you're laying here sick and it's all my fault.
I'm so sorry and I'm really sorry I threatened to send you home. I didn't mean that."

She put her hand on my cheek and cupped my face as I spoke and I leaned in to

her touch. Every time she touched me, shock waves rolled through my body and I
was totally addicted to it. I couldn't get enough.

"I should have told you I was getting tired. I'm the one who should be sorry.

Please don't be sorry that you asked me to come."

I leaned in to kiss her, needing to taste her sweet lips. "I'm not sorry I asked you

to come. I'm sorry I didn't pay closer attention and take better care of you."

"What else did the doctor say?"

"That you need to rest, eat better, and you need IV fluids, which he's bringing in

the morning."

"No."

"No what?"

"No IV fluids. I'll drink, Edward, I promise. I hate needles. Please."

I decided not to argue with her. We'd see in the morning whether she still needed

the fluids. She was drinking plenty of water so I chose not to force the issue.

The next day we managed to get away from having to have the IV fluids. The doc

- 243 -

wrote her a couple of prescriptions, which Rhianne swooped in and took to get filled.
Bella was thrilled that she didn't have to have any needles and lavished my face with
kisses.

The doctor told me that the prescriptions were for anxiety medicine and a

sleeping pill. He felt that she was suffering from anxiety that she might need some
help with, and that maybe the sleeping pills would help her to sleep adequately. I
wasn't too sure about the meds, but felt that if this doctor, only having met her
twice, thought she needed them, she probably did.

I had some shit I had to do, so I left Bella with the girls for the day. They promised

to see that she rested. I took Emmett and Jasper with me and after I was done with
the work stuff I had to do, we went and did a little shopping for our ladies.

When we returned that afternoon, Alice and Rosalie were quietly playing with

Abby in the living room and Bella was sleeping. They said she had slept most of the
day. I was fucking relieved to hear that.

It was Tuesday and Bella was still not strong enough, in my opinion, to go out for

dinner, so I again sent her friends out on the town and we stayed in. She did get up
and come to the table to eat that night and was starting to look more like herself.
The dark circles under her eyes had started to abate and she was beginning to look
more healthy.

After supper, she told me, "Edward, I feel like a slovenly pig. I need to take a

shower."

"I'm going with you. I don't want you passing out in the hot water." She smiled

knowingly and took my hand, leading me to the bathroom.

On arrival in the bathroom, Bella pushed me against the counter and put her soft

lips against mine. She kissed me gently, slowly, sucking my lower lip into her mouth
and running her tongue across it. When she released it, I chastised her gently.
"Don't start something you're in no shape to finish." She smiled and put her lips on
mine again while her hand made its way down my chest, sending warm feelings all
through me.

"Oh, but I do intend to finish it," she whispered in my ear as her hand met firmly

with my package and she stroked my hard cock through my jeans.

My eyes closed involuntarily and I moaned softly. "Bella…"

- 244 -

"Stop it. You want me to feel better, and you're what will make me feel better

right now."

I wiggled away from her and turned on the shower, letting the water heat up. I

was trying like hell to keep my stupid seventeen-year-old hormones in check. I told
myself repeatedly that she was exhausted and didn't know how tiring it would be for
her to be ravished at the moment.

I was able to manage to get her in and out of the shower without jumping her, but

it wasn't an easy feat and she whined almost constantly. After she was out, I gave
her one of the sleeping pills the doc had prescribed for her and put her to bed while
we watched "Underworld." Apparently, Bella had some sort of fascination with
vampire and werewolf movies. What that was about was beyond me.

On Wednesday, Alice, Rosalie, Jasper, and Emmett took Abby to the Center of

Science and Industry for the day. Abby loved the Museum of Science and Industry in
Chicago, so I was sure she would have a great time, especially with Emmett there. I
told them repeatedly they didn't have to take her, but they wanted to, so I let them. I
had rehearsals and shit I had to do anyway. Bella seemed much more exhausted
than she had on Tuesday and opted to spend the day in bed. I was glad the doctor
was coming over to look at her again.

Thursday I only had one appearance, early in the morning, on a local radio station.

After that, I was free for the rest of the day until show time. When I returned from
the radio show appearance, I was surprised to find Bella out of bed, showered, and
dressed, hanging out with her friends and Abby in the living area of our suite. She
jumped up and rushed to me when I walked in, jumping on me and nearly knocking
me down with her enthusiasm. It was awesome.

"EDWARRRRRRD!!!!" Her lips barreled down on mine and kissed me with a fervor

that I hadn't felt for a couple of days. I turned away from the rest of the group and
carried her over to the wall, shoving her against it so she could feel exactly what she
was doing to me, and so that everyone else couldn't see my very obvious reaction.

"Get a fucking ROOM!" Emmett bellowed with a hearty laugh.

I released Bella's lips long enough to smirk at her and say, "Last time I checked,

this was my room, Em." Bella giggled and Emmett continued to laugh. At that point,
I was so happy that Bella was feeling better, that I really didn't give a shit who saw
us. However, we tried to have some decency and stopped before we got carried
away.

- 245 -

I did have to excuse myself to the other room for a minute to get my raging hard

on to go away. Fucking dick. You would have thought I had no control whatsoever
over the damned thing, but I did, before Bella came along. After Bella, I was like a
twenty-six year old teenager who had no control at all. I walked around semi-hard
most of the time and hard when she was around.

That night on the way to the show, Bella and her friends rode in my limo with me.

We all had a great time and were greeted by I don't know how many hundreds of
screaming fans when we arrived at the Horseshoe. I watched the responses of my
new friends to the crowd that greeted us. Alice was beaming and laughing. Jasper
was, as always, serious and calm. He just stood by Alice's side looking sinister, yet
harmless. Rosalie looked irritated, which was pretty hilarious, and Emmett looked
like he had just won the Heisman or something. Bella didn't even look out at the fans
and reporters and photographers. She grasped my hand and looked directly at me,
squeezing it tightly. I wondered if she was worried that Newton was there.

"You know he's gone, right?"

"I know." She smiled, but kept her eyes on me.

When it was time to go on stage, I was hyped the hell up. I had a couple of beers

on board and Bella and I had been making out off and on for an hour. The house was
packed with 106,000 screaming fans and I was on my game, more so now than I felt
I had been for a while. I glanced over at Bella where she was with her friends right
off stage and waved at her before I turned to the audience and said, "Is there
anybody out there that wants to hear something new?"

End Note: Before anyone asks... NO, Bella is NOT pregnant. Just thought I

better get that out of the way. ;) Upcoming tour cities are Cincinnati,
Detroit, Minneapolis, and Chicago. After that, we're headed south. Please
review, review, review... The Velvet's Vixens tour bus has a new feature of a
wet bar and a shirtless Emmett is serving drinks! We'll all have VIP passes
with full backstage access to every show!

Have you joined the Manhunt yet?

Manhunt - An Original Romantic Suspense Novel by Lillie Cullen http:// www .

textnovel . com / stories_list_detail . php?story_id=1521 Take out the spaces or
click link on my profile.

- 246 -

Follow me on Twitter! www (dot) twitter (dot) com / JuJuRN40

Click below to REVIEW! You know you want to, just DO IT!

- 247 -

Unstoppable

Disclaimer: If you're reading this, you already know that Stephenie Meyer owns

all Twilight characters. This story and all the original characters in this story just
happen to be MINE though. Please don't plagiarize my shit. Thanks.

A/N: I could spend fifteen minutes apologizing for the delay, but I'm not going to.

Suffice it to say that RL just sucks sometimes. If you want to hear the song that goes
with the lyrics in this chapter, please go to
www[dot]youtube[dot]com/watch?v=GooXFwD3ZTE It's called Kennedy and is by
Ratatat. More on that later. On with the story. See you at the bottom!

Bella

I was so proud to be standing on the side of the stage watching Edward… my

boyfriend… perform. My friends were all with me, my fuckhot boyfriend was on
stage, 106,000 people were screaming, and he looked over at me, winked, and
waved. It made my naughty bits tingle.

I was feeling so much better. I don't know if it was because my friends were there,

because I had gotten some well-needed rest, or because I had gotten to spend three
nights with Edward that were uninterrupted by concerts, but I wasn't going to
question it.

I had to crack up at Emmett, who was bounding all over the place backstage like a

kid in a candy store. He was so enthralled by all the goings on that he barely
watched the show. He was too busy following stagehands around and asking
everyone a zillion questions.

Jasper, on the other hand, was unusually quiet. I mean, he was always quiet, but

he was exceptionally quiet that night. He spent a lot of time standing away from the
group, either texting or talking on his cell. I wondered if he had a big case going on
at work or something. I didn't ask. Jasper has always been fairly reserved, but he
usually cut loose a little bit when he was out with all of us. Once I thought about
asking Alice what was up, but she appeared to be having the time of her life, so I let
it go. It wasn't any of my business anyway. At least, I didn't think it was at the time.

Alice and Rosalie were singing along with every song, dancing, laughing, and

carrying on like two teenagers. I guess I really hadn't realized how very much I had

- 248 -

missed my friends. I wished there were some way they could stay with us for the
rest of the tour, but I knew that wasn't going to happen. Rosalie had her dealership
to run and would want Emmett by her side. Jasper had way too much work to do to
run off on tour for three or four months and just leave it behind. Alice was probably
the only one that could have gone with us, but I knew she wouldn't want to be away
from Jas for that long.

After Edward winked and waved at me, he turned back to the audience and asked

if anyone wanted to hear something new. He never ceased to amaze me. He was
always writing, it seemed. He would grab his ever-present legal pad and jot things
down. None of it ever made sense to me, but apparently when he did that, he was
writing. It was so much of a habit for him that I barely noticed it. He would take the
pad, write a few words, and toss it aside.

Edward said, "This is a new song that we just worked up. It's called 'Unstoppable'

and I'd like to dedicate it to this beautiful young lady standing over here in the
wings." He pointed over to me and I smiled. The crowd roared louder than they had
before and I realized that I was suddenly bathed in light and the camera that was
doing the filming for the big screens was aimed directly at me. I felt the heat rise to
my cheeks and I flushed from head to toe. Alice and Rosalie were squealing and
clapping and I really just wanted to kill them both. I was sure I was just going to die
at that point. At least I wanted to. I tried to keep a smile on my face and timidly
waved at the camera, which just made the crowd scream even louder. I silently
pleaded for a hole to open up in the floor and swallow me. The spotlight turned away
from me just as Brad started singing and I was instantly blown away by the words.
Fortunately, the fucking camera was now trained on him instead of me.

She makes me want to fly

This lady's over the top,

with her I don't want to stop

Until I reach the sky

She makes me feel…

Unstoppable.

- 249 -

Alice and Rose both flanked me and took my hands. The excitement that passed

through the three of us was palpable. Emmett and Jasper moved in behind us and
we all stood there together with arms around each other, one big group of friends
with nothing but love for each other and the man on stage who started to rap.

Before her, every day used to be just the same

Same tit, same tat, such an ornate game

That I used to play just to keep from feeling lame

Just to keep on truckin' on towards that fame

That everyone said that was in store

For me, I could get all I wanted and more –

Money, honeys, my face on that TV.

That was what I wanted, was for everyone to hear me,

Hear my rhymes, love my lyrical finesse,

To know EC was born for success,

Is better than the rest, is here to stay

To show the world the Velvet Way.

But now I know where importance lies

Every time I look into her chocolate eyes

It feels good – she's all mine,

And as long as I'm hers I know my sun will shine.

Tears welled up in my eyes and I felt all of my friends' arms around me, holding

me and sharing in my moment. It was so perfect.

After the show, Edward and I spent a sum total of one hour backstage, which was

odd in a place that was built for football games. He took pictures with some of the

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VIPs and made his way around the room, had a shot of his special vodka, and then
insisted that we go back to the hotel. When we walked outside, there were hoards of
screaming fans. I glanced at Edward, who looked deep in thought, so I said, "Why
don't the rest of us head back and you stay here for a bit and sign some autographs?
Keep your fans happy, Edward. I'll be fine and will be waiting for you when you get
to the room." He squeezed my hand tightly and stared at me briefly, studying my
face, before he agreed.

He helped me into the limo with my friends and we headed back to the hotel. The

four of them were talking non-stop and I was fairly certain that Emmett had put
away a whole lot of beer already. Rose was all over him and I wanted to roll my eyes
and be sick, but I knew that Edward and I were no better. I couldn't wait for him to
get back to the room so that I could get my hands on his gorgeous, tight body.

Jasper's phone signaled a text message and he pulled it out of his pocket to look at

it. His low, dangerous chuckle didn't escape my notice. "What's up, Jas?" I asked
innocently.

He looked up, stunned, and said, "Oh, nothing. Just a forwarded joke."

I knew better. People did not forward jokes to Jasper. He just wasn't the type.

Emmett, on the other hand, had some of the most disgusting things I've ever seen in
my life on his cell, and he wasn't afraid to share them with everyone, either.

Jasper tucked his phone back in his pocket and looked out the window while Alice

talked animatedly to Rose and me about her purchases while she'd been in
Columbus. She said something about not being able to wait until we were all in
Chicago together and I was momentarily distracted by finding out that my friends
planned to be there when we arrived back in Chicago in a few days for a couple of
shows. Emmett was actually going to act as one of our bodyguards, which was
totally cool and right up Emmett's alley. It wasn't long, though, before I looked back
to Jasper who continued to look out the window with a serene look of satisfaction on
his face.

Upon arrival at the hotel, we all clamored out of the car and headed for our floor.

When we stepped out of the elevator, I glanced at Jasper and said, "Alice, would you
mind if I have Jasper come down to our room and help me with something really
quick? It won't take a minute."

Alice threw her arms around me, obviously drunk, and told me that would be

great. It would give her a few minutes to get ready for bed in peace. I nodded and
hugged her back before turning and walking towards my suite. Jasper followed

- 251 -

behind me and as soon as everyone else had closed their doors, he asked what I was
up to.

I unlocked the door to my room and walked in, inviting him inside. Once he was in,

I shut and locked the door and crossed my arms.

"Jasper, nobody ever questions you about the things you do and the people you

know. I know that your clientele consists of a very few chosen people who have,
shall we say, connections. What did you do to Mike? Is he dead?"

Jasper sighed with exasperation before answering me. "No, he's not dead, Bella,

but I can promise you he'll never bother you again. As soon as he gets out of the
hospital, he's moving away from Seattle. Far away. And he won't be coming back."

I raised an eyebrow and shifted my weight. "Hospital?"

"Do you really want to know? Isn't it best to be able to deny it if anyone should

come asking?"

"Is anyone going to come asking?" I argued.

Jasper shook his head. "I don't think so, but you never know. Shit happens

sometimes." He shrugged and his intense blue eyes bore into me.

I stood my ground, staring at him, willing him to give up and tell me something

more than what he had. He stared back at me just as intensely and almost made me
lose my resolve.

"Fine. He was visited by some… associates… of mine. He's been properly warned

and properly frightened. You won't have to worry about him anymore. He knows
that if he pulls another dumbass stunt like he did this week or last, he won't live to
see it come to fruition. Are you happy now? Do you want more details? Jesus, Bella.
You need to just back off and let your friends take care of you."

I got that he was pissed at me for making him tell me. I just needed to know. Call

it morbid curiosity. Call it whatever you want. I just needed to know what he had
done. "No, I don't need to know anything else. I guess I should say thank you, even
though I don't necessarily approve of your tactics."

Jasper's demeanor softened a bit and he told me, "You're welcome, Bella. It's only

because I love you like a sister that I would do something like this. I wouldn't call in
a favor that was owed to me for just anyone, you know."

- 252 -

I nodded in understanding and bit my lower lip before Jasper crossed the distance

between us and hugged me tight. "Good night, Bella, I'll see you in the morning."

I showered and changed into some of my new lingerie that Alice had picked up for

me in town before crawling into the big bed to wait for Edward's arrival at the hotel.
I was asleep when he tip-toed in two hours later. I awakened when he slipped into
the bed and snuggled up next to me.

"Mmmm, there you are." I turned towards him and wrapped my arms around his

naked torso, inhaling his clean scent. He must have showered before getting in bed.

"I didn't mean to wake you, babe." He placed a soft kiss on the top of my head and

snaked his arms around me, pulling me close to him.

"I know, but I wanted to be awake when you got here. I need you to make love to

me, Edward."

"Don't you think you'd better rest?"

"No. I think I need to feel you inside me more than I need to rest right now," I

answered coyly. He groaned and pressed his now growing erection into my stomach.
"I'm thinking maybe you need me, too." I giggled and he pulled me up, placing his
lips on mine, and kissing me tenderly, but deeply. I opened my mouth to allow him
entrance and his tongue slipped inside, tangling with my own, and sending shock
waves of pure ecstasy from my mouth right down to my throbbing core. I threw a leg
over him and ground against him, letting him feel my heat. He rubbed himself
against me in return.

His hand began a slow journey from my knee, up the outside of my thigh, over my

hip, up my side, brushing past my breast, and then cupping my face. I ran my hands
up and down his back, feeling the muscles there contract and relax under my touch.
His lips consumed mine and I closed my eyes so I could concentrate on just feeling
him. His hard muscled body against mine, his hands stroking my hair, my face, and
my body, his large cock pressed against my heat. I rubbed against him, trying to get
the friction I so desperately needed.

In a flash, he was out of his boxers and had laid me bare as well. He crawled atop

me and leaned down to kiss my lips before running his tongue along my jaw and
circling my earlobe with it. I shuddered with the feeling. My arms broke out in
gooseflesh and Edward emitted a low chuckle.

"I love the way your body responds to me." He continued to run his tongue down

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my neck and across my shoulder, making me shudder more. His tongue then took a
languorous journey down my chest and then he pulled my peaked nipple into his
mouth and gently pressed his teeth on either side of it. My mouth opened and a gasp
escaped.

As he tweaked one nipple with his teeth, he reached over and began rolling the

other between his thumb and forefinger, which caused the dampness between my
thighs to grow. I pulled my legs up, placing my feet beneath my knees and allowing
my knees to fall apart as far as they would go, encouraging Edward to settle himself
between them. He allowed his weight to press against me, but wouldn't enter me
yet. I was going insane with desire as he alternated between nipples, pulling on
them, rolling them, sucking them, nipping at them.

"Oh God," I moaned when his hand slipped down across my belly and dipped

between my legs. His fingers slid between my folds and he shivered.

"Fuck, Bella… you're so fucking wet." He dropped his head lower and scooted

down the bed.

I leaned up on my elbows to watch him as he leaned in and ran his tongue the

length of my slit. Jesus Christ, it felt so fucking good when he circled my clit with his
tongue and teased my entrance with his fingers.

"So good… you taste so fucking good," he moaned from between my legs as he

slipped his tongue inside me and then ran it back up to flick at my clit again.

My whole body vibrated when he slid his middle finger inside me and started

alternately circling and flicking my clit with his tongue. I was so fucking close. I
collapsed back on the bed and clutched at the sheets, my body breaking out into a
sweat.

"Oh fuck, Edward, God, fuck…" Edward pushed a second finger inside me and

curled them both sending me right over the edge as he sucked and nipped at my clit
with his lips and tongue.

My orgasm was mind-blowing. I cried out as I tumbled over the edge, clamping my

thighs against his head and trembling. His movements slowed and he slid his fingers
out of me, running them up my slit and gently circling my clit one more time before
moving up to kiss my lips. I could taste myself on his mouth, which just heightened
my arousal that was already building again.

I slid out from under him and pushed him over on his back, wanting to return the

- 254 -

favor. He pushed my hair out of my face and tucked it behind my ear as I leaned in
to kiss him again while sliding my hand down to find his hard cock. My fingers
wrapped around it and I felt his entire body jerk. I sat up and grinned at him as I
moved down and leaned over, about to take his cock in my mouth.

"Bella, no, you don't need to… oh shit… fuck." I didn't give him a chance to finish,

or allow him to push me away. I wanted to taste him, needed to taste him, and was
determined to do so.

I swirled my tongue around the head of his dick and then enveloped him within my

mouth. He groaned and pushed his pelvis forward, pushing himself into me. I took as
much as I could, keeping my hand wrapped around the base. He was big. Really big.
I knew I'd never be able to take all of him into my mouth, but I was bound and
determined to take as much as possible. I ran my tongue up and down his length,
pumping him gently with my hand. I squeezed and released him and reveled in the
primal sounds he was making.

I used his body language and his moans as my guide while I increased the tempo

of my movements. I sucked harder, moved my hand faster, swirled my tongue more,
but finally he grabbed my head and panted, "Please, Bella, I need… I need to be
inside you… when I come. I need you to come with me."

I felt a flood between my legs at his words and released his cock. He immediately

pushed me over onto my back and mounted me, placing his cock at my very wet
entrance. I smiled and let a moan out of my open mouth as he pushed inside me,
filling me completely, making me gasp at his size. His motions were so slow and yet
so urgent, that it was maddening. He pulled at my legs and soon I found that my
ankles were on his shoulders and he was driving into me. His weight against my legs
was amazing. It felt so fucking good. I started running my hands down my sides and
I felt him jerk.

"Fuck, yeah! Oh God, Bella, touch yourself… fuck… that's right…" he cried. I

smiled and closed my eyes, allowing my hands to wander as his steady strokes
pounded away at my body. He was clutching at my legs and I felt his motions
quicken. I was so close, but didn't want him to come before I did. After all, he had
asked that I come with him, and I didn't want to deny him that. I dipped one hand
between my legs and found where we were joined, feeling his cock slide in and out
of me and letting my wetness coat my fingers.

A guttural sound that sounded almost like a growl came from Edward and I pulled

my hand back just enough to press against my throbbing clit. I opened my eyes to
find Edward's green ones boring into me, his face intense with pleasure. The coil

- 255 -

tightened. Edward wrapped his arms around my legs and pulled me up higher,
slamming his pelvis hard against me. I could feel his cock pulsating inside me and I
stroked at my clit just hard enough to send me past the point of no return.

"Oh God, Edward, yes. I'm… I'm… I'm… coming… oh fuck… oh God…" I moaned

with his every stroke against me.

"Bella… Fuck…" I could feel his release filling me with warmth as I spasmed

around his cock. We both broke out with gooseflesh and our bodies shuddered
together.

Edward released my legs and they moved back to the bed of their own volition

because the synapses of my brain were all lost in ecstasy. I couldn't even think
enough to tell my legs where to go. My knees fell open and Edward collapsed atop
me, hungrily searching for my lips, kissing me, caressing my mouth with his tongue.
Whispered words of love permeated the air from both of us and the sweet smell of
fresh sex invaded my nose. We rolled to our sides, still clinging to one another,
Edward's softening cock still inside me, but slowly slipping away. We slept that way,
clinging to each other and feeling the closeness of two people who were so in love
and who had just shared the most wonderful experience.

The next days were busy and filled with traveling, concerts, and appearances. I

had to say goodbye to my friends, but looked forward to them being back with us the
next weekend in Chicago. We flew to every show, no matter how near or far away,
for the next week. We went to Dayton, then King's Island in Cincinnati, Detroit,
Minneapolis, and finally, the following Friday we were back in Chicago for a few
days. We had shows in Chicago on Friday and Saturday night along with nearly a
week's rest before we were to head out for Nashville, Jacksonville, Tampa, and
Orlando.

Upon our arrival in Chicago, the first thing we did, because it was a beautiful day,

was to take the Ferrari out for a drive. Edward's garage was a thing of beauty. I was
surprised at the number of cars he owned, although he had pointed out the silver
Volvo to me and told me he mostly drove it. I had walked along and touched the Alfa
Romeo, the Rolls, the Escalade, the Aston Martin, the Porsche, the BMW, the
Corvette, the Mercedes… I was fascinated. I remembered him telling me he
collected cars, but we hadn't talked about it much.

Abby went to spend the weekend with Carlisle and Esme the first night we were in

town, Friday. After we had her safely delivered to their house and had said our
hello's, we headed downtown to Edward's Lake Shore Drive apartment. From what
little I knew of Chicago, I knew that a penthouse apartment on Lake Shore Drive

- 256 -

with views looking out over Lake Michigan was expensive. I marveled at all the
things Edward had, yet he was so alone.

"How come you buy all this stuff, Edward? You don't really seem to be the

materialistic type, yet you own a huge home, a downtown apartment, a car
collection anyone would be jealous of, and don't think I didn't see the five
motorcycles you have as well."

Edward shrugged and chuckled, almost sounding embarrassed. "My accountant

insists that I purchase certain things so I don't have to give all my money to the
government."

I giggled. "Makes sense."

He reached across the car and grasped my hand. "At least now I have someone

else to lavish gifts on rather than just spending all my money on myself and Abby."

I leaned over and kissed him. "You don't have to lavish me with gifts, Edward.

You're all I want."

He smiled, a beautiful crooked smile that warmed my heart, and released my

hand, reaching over to open the glove box. "That's the part that makes me want to
buy you stuff, Bella. Here, I had my jeweler fix this up for you. I hope you like it," he
said, shoving a box into my hands.

My hands started to shake as I stared down at the box holding some type of

jewelry in it. It wouldn't be cheap; I knew that. No one had ever bought me
expensive jewelry before and I wasn't sure how to handle it.

"Well? Are you gonna open it, or stare at it?" Edward asked with a grin.

I smiled back as I opened the box and gasped at what was inside. It was a tennis

bracelet of diamonds and sapphires. The stones were all huge and the sapphires
were emerald cut while the diamonds were marquis cut. I took the bracelet out of
the box and marveled at how it sparkled in the sunlight. It was the most beautiful
piece of jewelry I had ever seen.

"Oh, Edward, it's beautiful," I said softly, turning it over and over in my hands,

trying not to drop it because my hands were shaking even worse now.

"I can send it back and have it be all diamonds if you want. I thought you might

like the sapphires too, though, since that's your birthstone."

- 257 -

"I love it, Edward. You shouldn't have. It's perfect."

I put the bracelet around my wrist and fastened it, then held it out for him to see.

He grabbed my hand and pulled it to his mouth to kiss it just before turning into the
parking garage of his apartment.

Later that afternoon, as promised, my friends arrived and woke me up from my

nap. Edward had laid down with me, but hadn't stayed long, saying he needed to
make some phone calls. He looked a bit perplexed when I got up to greet our friends
and I questioned him with my eyes. He shook his head and smiled, as if to try to tell
me everything was fine, but I knew it wasn't.

We went to the concert and Emmett made a big show of acting as bodyguard. He

wore his official credentials proudly and nearly knocked out a couple of young girls
who had broken the barrier and run up to get Edward's autograph.

"Whoa, careful there, big guy," Edward told him, grinning. He signed the

autographs for the girls who ran off screaming. "Just don't let any weirdos near
Bella, okay, Em?"

The concert was perfect, of course. Edward really seemed to enjoy playing for his

hometown crowd, and they seemed to enjoy it as well. Afterwards, when all of the
partying and schmoozing was done, we all headed back to Edward's apartment,
where it didn't escape my notice that he seemed to enjoy my friends every bit as
much as I did. They were our friends now, and I was happy for Edward to have
some. A couple of the guys in the group joined us for a short while at the apartment,
where there was a wonderful catered meal waiting for us. The rest of the guys had
gone home to see their families. When all the excitement died down, Edward and I
excused ourselves to bed, where we climbed into the giant bed that looked out a
wall of glass onto the lake. We made love before going to sleep, and once again slept
in each other's arms. It was peaceful and glorious. I never wanted it to end.

On Saturday, Edward had a meeting with Demetri so he sent me shopping with

Alice and Rosalie. I was well aware that there was to be a court hearing on Tuesday
for the custody suit and was sure that Edward had a lot of business to attend to
where that was concerned. I was worried about him taking all of that onto himself,
but he assured me he was fine and handed me a wad of cash and the black credit
card that he always sent me shopping with.

While we were out, Alice and Rosalie helped me pick out a few things and we

found a dress that was perfect for me to wear to the show that night. It was sapphire
blue with sparkling crystals for accent and went with my bracelet, which I hadn't

- 258 -

taken off yet, perfectly. Well, okay, I took the bracelet off to shower, but other than
that, I had been wearing it ever since Edward gave it to me, which really seemed to
please him.

All three of us were loaded down with purchases when we returned to the

apartment and Edward looked genuinely happy that I had bought some things for
myself rather than buying more things for Abby and him than I had for me. In fact,
Edward seemed happier than I had ever seen him. Once everything was put away
and everyone was relaxing, I went to the kitchen to find him so I could ask him
about it. He was sitting at the breakfast bar with his laptop and closed it when I
walked in.

What's up, Bella? Aren't you tired? You wanna lay down for a while? I'll come lay

down with you." He started to stand but I walked up to him and put my arms around
him, laying my head against his shoulder.

"Aren't you going to tell me about your meeting?" I asked softly.

"There's not much to tell that wouldn't be boring. We just talked about how things

were going to go down. You know that all of your friends are here as character
witnesses, right?"

"Yes, I know. I don't see how I need so many character witnesses, but whatever

Demetri says is probably correct," I answered, sighing.

"Your dad's coming."

There was no warning, no advance notice at all, Edward just blurted it out. I was

confused and shocked.

"Charlie's coming? Why?" I stood and looked at Edward as though he had just hit

me. Why couldn't he have warned me?

Edward shrugged. "I'm sorry I didn't give you more notice, Bella. I sent my plane

to pick him up earlier. He'll be here in a couple of hours. He just… well, he needs to
be here for court, and for you."

"Edward, I'm not the one who needs people to support them in this. You are. I

don't understand at all."

Edward stood and took me in his arms. "Please just trust me, okay? It's all for the

best, I promise. I would never do anything to hurt you."

- 259 -

I hugged him and mumbled, "Okay, I trust you," into his chest, but I still didn't

understand exactly why he and Demetri thought that my father needed to be there.
Mostly, I wasn't sure I was ready to face Charlie yet. We were okay, but I wasn't
exactly in a mood to entertain him, and he would need entertaining while he was in
Chicago.

End Note: So? What did you all think of EC Velvet rapping? Unfortunately, I can't

take credit for that. One of my WONDERFUL readers wrote that for me. All my
thanks to PianoGoddess31 for taking the time to write ECV a rhyme!

I've just got to give major props to anyone who read/voted for Manhunt for Miss

Lillie. She won the voting section of the contest on textnovel and was named a
semi-finalist. Her story is with the publishers now so we just have to wait and see if
she makes it to the finalist round. Thanks everyone!

Speaking of Miss Lillie... Lady, I love you more than... well... just about anything.

Not only are you the best beta in the whole wide world, you listen to all of my
whining, you're there for me when I need you, you keep me sane. Thank you for
being you!

Mad props as well to Amy and Tami for pre-reading this for me. You ladies rock!

Chocolate Covered Cullens go out to all of my fantastic readers who hang in there

with me even though I am utter FAIL at responding to reviews.

Don't forget to follow me on Twitter ~ JuJuRN40. Also, I'm setting up a blog site,

so next chapter I will have details on that for you.

I think I've listed all the upcoming tour dates in the chapter. Yes, ladies, we're

headed to Florida soon. I know several of you have been waiting patiently for that!
We still have room on the Tour Bus for all you Vixens that are traveling with us on
the road. It gets pretty wild in here sometimes!

Oh, and if anyone is looking for any last minute gift ideas for me for Christmas...

I'd like RPatzz and his fingers... here... in my living room... with a big red bow on his
head... and I'm gonna look him straight in the eye and tell him what a hot piece of
ass he is! Hallelujah, holy shit, where's the Tylenol? (Extra Chocolate Covered
Cullens if you can tell me what movie that's from!)

See the review button? CLICK IT! I may not respond.. but I read and cherish every

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single one!

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Proposition

A/N:OK, here I am, back with the next installment of ECV. It took a while, but

honestly, this chapter had to be perfect.

Thank you Lillie... You know why. Many thanks as well to my girls Lillie, Lea,

Tami, Amy, Militza, and Tammy for hanging in there with me through some tough
times the last few weeks. I sure hope most of that is behind me for a while. Love you
all H&R.

Disclaimer: Don't own any of the characters from Twilight. This story and all

characterizations within it that are NOT Twi-verse related are mine and only mine.
Please do me the honor of asking me before you copy this work or use any of my
characters. Thanks.

Edward

I don't think my fucking nerves could have been any more shot than they were

that Saturday night in Chicago waiting to go on stage. Thank God Alice and Rose
were there to placate Bella so she didn't notice how fucking on edge I was, because
had she noticed, she would have thought something was wrong with me. It was
really fucking hard for me to not just break down and tell her everything. I wanted
to, but I just couldn't.

On Friday, I had several phone calls from Demetri, which I tried to take in private.

The custody hearing was coming up on Tuesday and I knew that he and I needed to
talk about it. I had pretty well ignored him, expecting him to be a miracle worker
while we were traveling and Bella was sick, but I couldn't ignore him any longer. He
needed my help. It was looking like court was going to be pretty bad, and to top it all
off, Tanya was scheduled for release from jail on Monday and she wanted to see
Abby. Fortunately, after the last fucking fiasco with her family and Bella there, the
judge had denied her access to Abby until the custody hearing had taken place, but I
knew that wouldn't stop the stupid bitch from trying. I had yet to share with Bella
that Tanya was getting out of jail. She was stressed out enough as it was.

Saturday morning, I was pleased that Bella agreed to go shopping with Rose and

Alice. I didn't want her to insist on coming to the meeting I had scheduled with
Demetri. As it turned out, I probably should have had her there, but all in all, we
wouldn't have done anything differently than we did anyway.

- 262 -

Tanya's lawyer was a scum-sucking pig who had managed to fabricate all sorts of

lies about Bella. He had dug up some dickhead from her past that had apparently
tried to date-rape her when they were in high school to testify that she was a "party
girl." In addition, they were calling Newton to testify. Newton, however, was trying
like hell to get out of it. He had recently been in the hospital for a particularly bad
assault, which he said was a mugging, but every time I looked at Jasper, I knew it
wasn't a mugging. That shit was on purpose and Newton was shitting his pants
thinking he was going to be called in to testify against me because of Bella. He
figured his scrawny ass was going to end up at the bottom of Lake Michigan, which
might not have been too far from the truth.

Tanya, her family, and her lawyers might have been scraping the bottom of the

barrel to find evidence against Bella, but I really wasn't interested in putting Bella
through all that. There were really only two ways out of it and neither one of them
sounded too appealing when it came to telling Bella about them, but I had decided
what I was going to do. I just had to be able to make it through without totally losing
my shit.

Bella's dad arrived that afternoon, as planned, and he was just a fucking ray of

sunshine. He was really pissed off at me for what I was, who I was, and what he
perceived that his daughter was going through because of me. The pissed off part of
me wanted to lash out at him for what he had done to Bella when she was younger,
but I didn't. I kept that shit in check because Bella didn't even know that I knew
about it. She had told me bits and pieces, but that morning at Demetri's office, I had
gotten the whole story, and it wasn't pretty. I could never imagine not believing
Abby if she came to me and told me that she had been sexually assaulted, moreover,
the dude wouldn't have lived to do it to another girl. That fucking Jacob dude was
going to take the stand and say that he and Bella had consensual sex. As far as I
knew, Bella hadn't had sex with him at all.

All of these thoughts were at war in my mind when we climbed into the limo that

night and headed to the show. Rhianne kept looking at me and giving me "the look,"
which was supposed to make me calm down, but it wasn't fucking working. I was
strung tight, like really tight, so tight I was like a piano string that had one too many
turns on the tuning pin and was about to break. Bella kept squeezing my hand and
every time she did, I looked down at our hands entwined together on my lap. Her
wrist was adorned with the bracelet I had given her. Her hand was so tiny in
comparison to mine. I had always been told that I had pianist's fingers because they
were so long. Just because I played didn't mean that I agreed, but looking at Bella's
hand in mine, it was painfully obvious just how long my fingers were. As I sat there
fixated on our hands, I heard Rhianne clearing her throat loudly. I looked up and
Charlie was staring at me, along with the rest of the gang.

- 263 -

"What? Did I do something?" I looked over at Bella in confusion, who had

blanched. "Bella, what's wrong?"

"Um, you probably need to pay attention to what you're saying when you're

daydreaming, Edward. Especially when we have guests in the car." She glanced at
her dad and blanched again. "Sorry, Dad. He's a little pre-occupied before a show."

Charlie raised an eyebrow and continued to stare at me. "Edward, I'd really prefer

if you kept that kind of stuff to yourself. I, uh, really don't want to hear that."

What the fuck did I say? I had no idea what I might have said. Emmett was

laughing his ass off and Rose hit him no less than three times and told him to shut
the fuck up. Jasper even had a look of amusement on his face and Alice was patting
Bella on the shoulder and glaring at me. Fortunately, we arrived at the venue and
everyone started out of the car. Emmett got out and stood with the other
bodyguards, giving Rose a kiss on the cheek and apologizing to her before she
moved to the side to allow the rest of us to get out of the car. There were hoards of
screaming fans and photographers there, which I expected at a home show. It was
no different than the night before, but it was different. There was an electricity in
the air that no one could put their finger on, except me. I knew what was different.

As we made our way inside, I caught up to Emmett and asked what I had said.

"Dude, you don't need to be talking about what you'd like to do with your fingers
and Bella with her dad sitting there. I'm surprised he didn't kill you."

Fuck. Note to self: Don't think about where you'd like to put your fingers while

your girlfriend's father is sitting across from you and you're pre-occupied anyway.
Fuck.

The show went down without a hitch. When the time came for the encore, I rushed

off stage to go change and hauled Bella with me to the dressing room. I kept kissing
her and almost forgot that I had a mission to accomplish. When it came time to go
back on stage, I went a different direction than I usually did and took Bella with me.
We were standing in the back, center stage, and Bella kissed me on the cheek and
said she needed to get back to her dad.

"No, Bella. I want you to stay here. There's something I want to do."

"What, Edward?"

The music started playing and the lights were coming up and it was time for me to

go out, so I tightened my grip on her hand and pulled her with me. She immediately

- 264 -

started to protest.

"No… Edward, what are you doing? I'm not going out there!" The spotlight hit us

and she immediately had the deer in the headlights look. She stared at me with
those big doe eyes of hers and flushed. I smiled and pulled her out onto the stage.

"Come on, Bella. You won't regret this, I promise."

"I'm sure you've all seen pictures of this lovely lady right here next to me?" I

shouted. The crowd roared. "Well, this is Bella, and this is my official introduction." I
handed Bella a microphone and whispered, "Say hi to the crowd, Bella."

Bella held the microphone awkwardly and said, "Hello." The crowd roared again.

She smiled a beautiful, yet nervous, smile and waved timidly.

I turned towards her and said into my headset, "I've got something I need to

discuss with Bella and I wanted my fans here tonight to be a witness to what I've got
to say," and with that, I got down on one knee. The crowd went crazy and I nodded
to the side of the stage where Alice, Rosalie, Jasper, Emmett, and Charlie were
waiting. They all walked out and stood behind Bella. Bella was looking around wildly
and her dad walked forward, took her hand and kissed it, winking at her. Charlie put
her hand in mine and stepped aside as I took a deep breath.

"Bella, you are, without a doubt, the love of my life. Fate obviously brought us

together and even in the short time I've known you, I've found that I could never
imagine my life without you. You've shown me love that I never knew was possible
for me. I love you more than I ever dreamed I could love another human being
besides my daughter. You've healed my heart and made me whole again. You've
made me a better man in many ways and you've shown me that I do deserve to be
loved for who I am. It is my wish, my desire, that we spend the rest of our lives
together, and my greatest wish is that we do so as husband and wife. Isabella Swan,
will you marry me?" I opened the ring box and held it out to her. I had never been so
nervous in my entire life. The crowd was going crazy. Alice and Rosalie both had
tears streaming down their face, and as I watched Bella, a single tear rolled down
her cheek, but her smile was unmistakable.

The crowd hushed to the point where you could've heard a pin drop. Bella stood

there, staring at me, her face overcome with emotion. I wasn't sure how to read it.
Suddenly, I was terrified that she would think it was too soon and say no. I started to
shake and my insides felt like I might just turn inside out right there on the stage. It
wasn't more than a moment, a flash, a blur in time, but it felt like an eternity until
Bella's head nodded minutely and she whispered, "Yes, Edward… Yes."

- 265 -

I let out a breath that I didn't realize I'd been holding. I stood, took the ring out of

the box, and slid it onto her delicate hand. It was a beautiful compliment to the
bracelet. Of course, I had them commissioned at the same time, but didn't realize I
would be giving them both to her so close together. The crowd began to make noise,
a low buzz at first, until I took her in my arms and kissed her tenderly. That was
when they went completely crazy.

"You've just made me the happiest man on earth, Bella. In case you all didn't hear

it, she said yes," I said, to placate the crowd. Music started and I said, "Gotta go
back to work, babe," before kissing her one more time and releasing her. I turned to
the audience and started belting out my latest hit. Rhianne helped to usher Bella
and the group off the stage, where Bella stood staring down at her left hand. Each
time I looked over at her, she was either smiling back at me, or staring at the ring. It
pleased me that I had made the right choice, or at least I hoped I had. We had a lot
of talking to do when the show was over, but I couldn't let myself get distracted by
that. I was putting on the best show I ever had at the time, and I needed to
concentrate, so I did.

Afterwards, I ran off stage and grabbed Bella, swinging her around. She giggled

and punched me on the shoulder so I put her down and we all headed down to the
dressing room together. All the guys gathered 'round and congratulated the both of
us and when the Vixens arrived; they all congratulated us as well. They all
surrounded Bella and swooned over her ring and there was a lot of excited talking
about wedding plans and such, to which Alice replied that she would be planning the
wedding. I wondered how she would feel about having little more than 48 hours to
plan it and it would be in a judge's chambers. I pushed that aside for the time being.
It was time to celebrate with my fiancé.

Charlie relaxed and seemed to have a great time that night. He drank several

beers and was really loosening up around me. He and I talked quite a bit. He was
very complimentary of me and of the show, which really surprised me. Of course, he
had known what he was invited to Chicago for, else he wouldn't have come. He did a
complete 180 with me from the afternoon and even told me that he would be proud
to have me as his son-in-law. I hoped it wasn't just the beer talking.

When all was said and done, we left the venue and headed for our separate

quarters. I sent Charlie and the rest of the group to my house, while Bella and I
went to the apartment. When we arrived there, after a quiet ride in the back of the
limo, I opened the door and let Bella walk in first. As soon as we were both inside
and I had closed the door, she attacked me, kissing my face and neck and
proclaiming her love for me. I held her and kissed her back, finally carrying her to
the bedroom, opening the curtains, placing her on the bed, and slowly undressing

- 266 -

her. When I had her down to just her bracelet and ring, I kissed her belly button and
lay my head on her tummy. She ran her fingers through my hair and looked down at
me with love in her eyes.

"Are you going to tell me why the rush?" she asked finally. I had known it was

coming, but I was basking in the thought that in a couple of days, Bella would be my
wife. Mine. Forever.

"I want to protect you. I can't let them hurt you in court, Bella. I just can't."

She sat up, realization dawning on her. "What do you mean?"

"Baby, I know this doesn't sound very romantic, but I would really like it if we

could get married in the judge's chambers before the hearing on Tuesday. It would…
well, it would make things easier for you in court."

"What? Tuesday? What?" I could see the confusion spreading across her face and

then she smiled. "Alice is gonna be so fucking pissed!" Her laughter permeated the
entire room and I couldn't help but laugh with her.

"I'm sorry. If you want a big white wedding, we can do that later."

"Hell no! I would love nothing more than to marry you in the judge's chambers,

but I'm worried that you're just doing this to keep me from having to defend myself
in court. I really don't know what the hell it could be that I would have to defend
myself from, Edward."

"Oh, Bella, you have no idea," I sighed. I didn't want to go into it with her.

"Well, Edward… I just want to know one thing. That's not the only reason you did

this, is it?"

I sat up and gathered her into my arms, fearing that was what she would think.

"No. It's not. I had the ring commissioned at the same time I had the bracelet
commissioned. I just didn't know at the time that I'd be giving them both to you on
the same weekend. It's been my plan to marry you and make you mine since… well,
since I met you. I just wanted you to be ready for that kind of relationship with me.
If you're not, I understand. Being with me is a huge commitment. It's not just me.
It's me, it's Abby, it's my parents, my ex-wife, the band, Rhianne, the lifestyle…"
Bella put her finger over my lips to hush me up.

"I want it, Edward. I want it all. If it's a part of you, I want it. My life never made

- 267 -

any sense to me before you, but now it all makes sense. I love you. I can't live
without you."

I covered her lips with mine and the love we made that night was the best ever.

Something between us was different. We weren't two lust-starved people looking for
affection. We were two people in love who had just committed to stay together
forever. It was beautiful. I nearly got emo about it, but instead I just held her and
rocked her against me, feeling what her body had to give me over and over again. It
wasn't just her body. It was her soul. When our climaxes finally took us, all I could
say to her was, "Mine… all mine."

The next morning we went to the house to have breakfast with everyone and there

was a flurry of activity. Alice was already in full wedding planner mode and Bella
finally had to stop her.

"Alice! Honestly! Are you even going to ask me what I want? Or when this is

happening even?"

"Sorry, Bella," Alice sang, flitting around the kitchen. I knew exactly what Bella

meant when she called her a pixie on speed. The girl had more damn energy than a
lab going after a treat. "I just want to make sure everything is perfect! This is going
to be a high profile wedding, you know!"

"No, Alice, it's not. It's going to take place in a judge's chambers at the court

house at nine o'clock Tuesday morning. Nobody knows that but the people in this
room and nobody is going to know that but the people in this room, and Edward's
parents and daughter, of course."

"And Rhianne," I chimed in.

Alice's face fell. She stood there staring at us, looking from one to the other.

"You're shitting me, right?"

We both shook our heads. Alice sat down on a barstool in the kitchen, defeated.

"Can I at least get you a dress and some flowers?"

Bella laughed. "Of course you can, Alice. I won't deny you that."

Alice seemed slightly less irritated with us.

I had an appearance that afternoon and after that, the whole lot of us went to

Carlisle and Esme's for dinner. It was, after all, Sunday.

- 268 -

When we arrived, Esme threw the front door open and stalked off to the kitchen

without a word. I realized then that I probably should have called them before the
show the previous night. She would have read the story in the paper that morning
that I proposed to Bella on stage. Abby came running right past me and jumped into
Bella's waiting arms.

"I missed youuuuuuu!" she squealed.

"Hey, rugrat! What about me?" I asked, tousling her hair. She practically jumped

out of Bella's arms and into mine.

"You, too, Daddy!" She kissed me and squeezed my neck tight in her little arms.

We all trouped into the house and I motioned to Bella to follow me. We went to
Abby's bedroom and sat her down on the bed between us.

"We have something to talk to you about, Abby."

"You're not leaving me here again!" she pouted, crossing her arms.

"No, baby, you're coming home with us tonight. It's something else."

"Okay!" She bounced up and down on the bed and played with the hem of her

dress.

"Remember when you asked if Bella could be your mommy?" I asked her, hoping

she would remember the conversation.

"Yes," she replied, happily.

"Well, she is going to be your new mommy, soon. Is that okay?"

Abby sat still for a minute and turned her head to the side, studying my face. "I

won't have the old one anymore?"

I laughed. "Yes, you'll still have the old one, Abby, but Bella and Daddy are getting

married, so Bella will be your mommy, too."

She pondered this for a moment and Bella and I exchanged glances. Finally, she

jumped up and hugged first me, and then Bella. "Okay! Love youuuuuu!" she yelled,
and then she ran out of the room screaming, "Grandma, Grandma, guess what?
Bella's going to be my mommy!"

- 269 -

Bella laughed and stood up. "That went well," she said as I took her hand and we

went to seek out Esme. She was in the kitchen finishing dinner when we arrived.
She didn't even turn around.

"When were you going to tell us, Edward?"

"Mom, I'm sorry, I was going to tell you at dinner tonight. I honestly didn't even

think about the newspaper."

"Or the television, apparently."

"Or the television. I'm truly sorry. It wasn't as though I had planned it for weeks

and didn't tell you. It was a spur of the moment thing. Can't you just be happy for
us?"

Esme rounded on me and paused only a second when she saw Bella standing

there. "Have you even thought this out? Either of you? Do you have any idea what
you're getting yourself into, Bella? Do you know what being married to Edward is
going to mean?"

"With all due respect, Esme, I believe I do know what it's going to mean. I've been

traveling with him for a month. I've gotten a good taste. I'm sure there will be more,
but I'm ready for it. If it means that I get to be with Edward, then I can handle it,
whatever it is."

Esme glared at her, trying to think of a response as Carlisle walked in the other

door from the dining room and wrapped his arms around her waist.

"Congratulations, Edward and Bella. Although your mother seems to be upset that

she didn't know in advance, she's happy for you nonetheless. When is the happy
event going to take place or have you even had time to think about it yet?"

I watched Esme visibly relax with my father's arms around her. I was thankful for

his timely intervention. He always had great timing.

"Actually, we're getting married Tuesday morning in the judge's chambers before

the hearing. I, well, we were hoping you would both join us."

Carlisle kissed Esme on the cheek and said, "You know we'll be there, son. It'll be

our honor."

Esme tried to smile and went back to finishing dinner quietly. I sent Bella into the

- 270 -

living room with the rest of the gang and walked over to Esme. "Mom, I really am
sorry. It just worked out that this was the best time. You wouldn't believe what they
were going to do to her in court and I couldn't just sit still and let them do that. The
only way around it was to either break up, which wasn't even a remote possibility, or
get married so that she couldn't be forced to testify against me, or me against her. It
was the only way, Mom. I love her. I can't even see my life without her anymore.
She's what completes me and keeps me sane in this sea of insanity that I live in.
Surely you can understand that."

"My feelings are just hurt that I didn't know. I'll get over it. I understand, Edward.

I do. I'm happy for you. Now go help your father set the table. It's time to eat."

The rest of the dinner was uneventful and afterwards, we all went back to the

house. After drinks and visiting, we all went to bed. Bella and I opted to stay at the
house since Abby was already fast asleep.

Monday was a whirlwind of a day. I had more meetings with Demetri while Bella

had a power-shopping trip with Alice, Esme, and Rosalie. Charlie hung back at the
house with Abby and Mary to get to know Abby better. It was obvious that she was
already the apple of his eye and I was happy that he seemed to be really enjoying
her. She was quite comfortable calling him grandpa and they were fast friends.

Late afternoon on Monday, it happened, just as I knew it would. I got the phone

call from Tanya. She was at her house.

"I want to see my daughter."

"I'm sorry, Tanya. That's just not possible until after court tomorrow." Bella eyed

me as I walked out the back door of the house onto the patio to talk to Tanya. I shut
the French doors and paced back and forth on the patio.

"You could do it if you wanted to be a decent human being, you asshole. I could

make life a lot easier for your fiancé in court tomorrow," she sneered.

"You trying to bribe me? It's not going to work. All you have is a bunch of trumped

up shit on Bella anyway. She's none of your fucking business."

"If she's with my daughter, she's my fucking business. I'm coming over to get her."

I closed my eyes and pressed my fingers to the bridge of my nose, unaware that
Bella had just joined me on the patio. I felt her arms snake around my waist and I
turned to put my arm around her and squeezed her shoulders.

- 271 -

"Tanya, it would be prudent for you to just stay home and wait to see what

happens tomorrow. If you come over here, I'll be forced to call the police. You know
there's a restraining order against you." Again, having to remain calm with this bitch
on the phone was taxing to me. I just kept breathing, and holding onto Bella.

"Why do you always have to be so goddamned difficult, Cullen? You're always such

an asshole. She's my daughter. I miss her."

"I'm really sorry that you miss her, but as I recall, that's your own fault." I waited

for the explosion I expected on the other end of the phone.

"Always quick to blame me for your own inadequacies, aren't you, Edward? Does

your new girlfriend know about your anger problem?"

Fucking bitch.

"Actually, I think my anger problems pretty much stemmed from my wife cheating

on me and being on drugs all the time. I'm good now. We all have our moments,
don't we, Tanya?" Bitch hung up on me. Good fucking riddance.

I turned to Bella and she hugged me. "Why didn't you tell me she was getting out,

Edward?"

"I was afraid you were already stressed enough. I intended to, it's just, with

everything else, it slipped my mind. I'm sorry."

"Edward… I'm not your enemy, I'm your partner. You have to be able to lean on

me. Please?"

"I know," I whispered softly into her hair.

By the time evening rolled around, I was exhausted, nervous, and hoping that

everything worked out as we had planned it. We all fell into bed quite early, knowing
that Tuesday was going to be an early morning and busy day. There were no further
interruptions from Tanya, for which I was grateful.

Alice tried to pull the 'Bella can't sleep with you tonight because you can't be

seeing her in the morning' bullshit on me, but I trumped her by telling her we were
all riding to the courthouse together in the same limo so it didn't matter.

"And besides, it's my house," I smirked as I led Bella into our bedroom.

- 272 -

"Our house," Bella said quietly as the bedroom door closed.

End Note: My readers are so awesome for reviewing even though I'm fail at

answering. Thank you all for all of your wonderful words of encouragement, your
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Look for me on Twitter. JuJuRN40. I had to protect my Tweets because of all the

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- 273 -

Sanctuary

A/N: RL sucks. Lillie, I love you. All the Twilight characters belong to Stephenie

Meyer. The rest of this shiz is mine. So there.

Bella

"Alice! Damn it! I can't get this right! Get in here and help me!" was the first thing

out of my mouth on Tuesday morning when I was trying like hell to get dressed on
my own.

"Bella, calm down for Christ's sake!" Alice chirped at me while she took over

buttoning the buttons on my white blouse.

We had decided to remain conservative for the small wedding, considering we had

Edward's court hearing to attend shortly afterwards. I was wearing a dark blue suit
with a white silk blouse and dark blue shoes that matched. It was a beautiful suit
and my bracelet and ring looked stunning with it. Rosalie helped with my hair and
had it falling in loose curls over my shoulders. Alice had helped with hair and
makeup, as well. Stupidly, I had thought I could actually get dressed by myself, but
my hands were shaking so badly that I couldn't even button the crystal buttons on
my blouse.

When I was finally dressed and Alice gave me her blessing, we all went downstairs

to join everyone else in anticipation of leaving shortly. I walked into the living room
and Edward was by my side immediately.

"You look absolutely gorgeous," he whispered in my ear before kissing my cheek.

"Hey! Don't mess up her makeup!" Alice growled at him. He smirked at her before

kissing my other cheek and then softly kissing my lips, making my knees feel like
buckling.

Charlie hugged me and told me he thought I looked beautiful as well, which made

be blush. Charlie never really said things like that, so I didn't know how to take
them when he did.

Edward's parents arrived shortly and Esme seemed to be in a much better mood

than she had been Sunday. She was gushing about how nice Edward and I looked

- 274 -

and I beamed as I ran my eyes over Edward. He was wearing a black suit and tie
with a crisply pressed white shirt. I was so used to seeing him in his jeans and
t-shirt, that I was mesmerized by just how sharp he looked all dressed up. His
bronze hair was, as usual, unruly. How he always managed to have sex hair and not
look like he just got out of bed was beyond me. All I cared about was that he was all
mine and I was so happy.

Abby was dancing around, running from person to person, in a pretty, frilly, lacy,

flouncy, white dress that Alice had picked out for her to wear. She was coming with
us for the wedding, but then Mary would be bringing her back home for the hearing.
Tanya's lawyers had, at one point, tried to make Edward bring her to the hearing or
have her be interviewed by the judge in his chambers. Edward had roared at
Demetri on the phone that she was only four and Demetri had agreed and squashed
the whole thing. Those fucking people were relentless.

Two limos pulled up in the drive in front of the house and Rhianne announced that

it was time for us all to go. That woman was everywhere all the time and I had never
met anyone as organized as she was. I couldn't figure out how she did it.

Edward and I sat together in the back of the limo, holding hands and chatting on

the way to the courthouse. A different judge was going to marry us because it would
be a conflict for the judge overseeing the custody case to do it. Edward had spent
hours the night before telling me what I could expect in court and detailing all of the
things I might hear. We hardly slept that night because we were up talking so late.
Everyone around us was buzzing with excitement and I was extremely nervous.

It took some time for us to get through security when we arrived, since there were

so many of us. I cracked up looking at our 'small' wedding party. Charlie, Carlisle,
Esme, Abby, Mary, Rhianne, Jasper, Emmett, Alice, Rosalie, Curtis, Jon, Brad, Ray,
Chris, Demetri, and Sam were all with us, along with four bodyguards. It was really
pretty humorous.

Once inside the judge's chambers, he asked for the marriage license, which

Edward pulled out of his inside pocket and handed to him. We had gone to the Cook
County Clerk's office the day before and obtained it after Demetri had reminded us
that we had to have one. Thank God we only had to wait until the next day and not
three days or a month or something.

Everyone stilled and stood all around us while the judge gave a little speech about

how much he enjoyed performing weddings. It was the best part of his job, he said,
because most other parts of his job were sad and tragic, but performing a marriage
was a joyous time for him. He kept it short, but talked to us a bit about the

- 275 -

commitment that a marriage was going to be. Edward held my hand and smiled at
me the whole time.

It finally came time for the vows and we turned to each other, joined hands, and

repeated the vows to each other while staring into each other's eyes. I couldn't help
the two renegade teardrops that spilled out of my eyes when Edward said his vows
to me. I also couldn't help the three or four more tears of happiness that came when
I repeated my vows to Edward.

When it came time for the rings, Edward's eyes widened when I turned to Alice

and plucked the platinum ring out of her tiny hand. We had some help from Rhianne
when it came to sizing Edward's ring. She gave us the name of Edward's jeweler. It
fit perfectly. Edward slipped a beautiful platinum and diamond band on my finger
that was made to fit around my engagement ring. It was beautiful and I stared at it
briefly, before turning my eyes back to Edward's and basking in the love I found
there.

When the judge finally pronounced us husband and wife, I was overcome with a

feeling of pure joy that Edward and I belonged to each other forever.

Everyone had a big hug fest when it was all over and we all walked out of the

judge's chambers smiling and laughing. Abby kissed me goodbye before she left with
Mary and said, "Bye, Mommy, see youuuu!" I had to glance around quickly to make
sure Tanya hadn't been around to hear. I was a tiny bit paranoid about Abby calling
me that in front of Tanya as mentally unstable as she was.

Everyone that was staying was ushered into a room by Demetri. It was a fairly

large room with a big, oval-shaped, solid wood conference table in the center and
leather chairs all around. The walls were lined with bookshelves that were full of law
books and procedure books. The musty smell of the books permeated the air, only to
be overshadowed by the scent of leather. The room was stuffy and didn't feel
friendly at all. Demetri had us all sit down so he could brief us about what to expect.

"Edward, you and Bella will sit up at the front table with me. Tanya will be on the

other side with her attorneys. Bella, don't make eye contact with her if you can help
it. Remain confident and show that you and Edward present a united front. When
she's on the stand, she'll probably stare at you and make a lot of accusations about
you. Don't respond. Don't show a reaction on your face, in your body language, and
don't say anything. Just let her make an ass of herself. She'll bury herself if we just
let her. This isn't going to be a problem."

I had to admit, Demetri was good. He told everyone what they needed to do,

- 276 -

where they needed to be, what they needed to respond to, what they didn't need to
respond to… It felt as though no stone had been unturned. I knew that Jacob had
been brought in for the hearing, but he wouldn't be in the courtroom unless they
called him to testify and Demetri said that the likelihood of them doing so was slim
to none.

Eleven o'clock was about to roll around, which meant it was time for us to go into

the courtroom. I was nervous as hell, but Edward just took my hand and smiled at
me, that beautiful crooked smile of his. I wanted to run my fingers through his hair
and kiss him forever.

"It's gonna be fine, Bella. Don't worry, okay? I know you're nervous, but there's no

need."

I nodded slightly and took a deep breath as we walked through the big double

wooden doors that led into the devastatingly intimidating courtroom. The bench
looked enormous to me as we walked up the center aisle behind Demetri who
opened the gate in the bar and motioned for us to step through. Charlie and the
gang, including Edward's parents and Rhianne, sat directly behind us in the gallery.
I glanced around and was relieved that at least the jury box would be empty.
Edward and I sat down at the table side by side and Edward's hand never released
mine.

Demetri was busy spreading out paperwork, files, legal pads, and other

paraphernalia in front of him on the table when the courtroom door opened and I
heard Tanya's irritating voice say, "What the fuck is she doing up there?"

I didn't turn to look, but Edward did. When he turned back and squeezed my hand,

he was smirking. He leaned over and whispered, "Her lawyer just told her to shut
up." I stifled a giggle.

They came through the gate noisily and I could hear Tanya huffing. I did as

Demetri had told me to, I didn't make eye contact with her, but I could see her out of
my peripheral vision while I talked to Edward. She looked like the skanky hoe she is.
I smiled inwardly. Couldn't she have even dressed decently for court? Honestly. I
was sure her too-short skirt and miniscule cleavage hanging out of her blouse
wouldn't impress the judge.

"What did you ever see in her?" I whispered to Edward with a smile.

He grinned and shrugged. "No idea, baby."

- 277 -

I leaned over and whispered as softly as I could, "I won't tell anyone if you admit

that she was just a piece of ass and you got stuck with her for a while." I smirked at
him and felt the flash of mischievousness go across my face. Edward almost lost it
and busted out into laughter. He shook his head at me, but couldn't wipe the smile
off his face.

"I love you," he mouthed.

One of Tanya's three lawyers approached Demetri and was whispering to him. I

couldn't hear what they were saying, but I knew that it had something to do with me
because I saw Demetri look my direction and gesture towards me. Perhaps they
were finding out why I was sitting at the table with Edward rather than in the
gallery behind him. Edward squeezed my hand again, running the pad of his thumb
back and forth over my skin.

Demetri sat down, leaned over to us, and whispered, "Let the games begin," with

a smile. "They just asked that you be removed from sitting next to Edward and I
informed them that you had every right to sit there as his wife. They, uh, didn't like
that too much." The three of us shared a private moment of joy before the bailiff
announced the judge's entrance. I stood proudly next to Edward and waited for the
gavel to fall so that we could sit down.

"Cullen vs. Cullen, custody hearing for the minor child Abigail Elizabeth Cullen,

case number 07D-001685, now in session."

Just hearing those words was intimidating. Fortunately for us, Edward had

brought the suit against Tanya, so our side was allowed to testify first. Demetri
called Edward to the stand and he kissed the top of my head before making his way
up to the witness box. I grabbed one of the legal pads lying on the table so I could
make notes during Edward's testimony to keep my hands and eyes busy.

"State your full name," the bailiff monotoned.

"Edward Anthony Masen Cullen."

After he was sworn in, Edward sat down and adjusted the microphone in front of

him. He didn't look at all nervous, but he was used to being in front of people. I
wondered how much of a fucking idiot I was going to look like when my time came. I
smiled back at him when he made eye contact with me and grinned.

"Edward, can you please describe, for the court, the specific events that led you to

file this suit?" Demetri started.

- 278 -

Edward began by discussing certain things that had occurred during his marriage

to Tanya, their subsequent divorce, the issues he had with Abby living with her, the
drug addiction, the jail time, and her behavior in general. I made a few notes, but
nothing came up that I hadn't already heard about from Edward. He had made
certain that everything that would be said by him, I would already know about.

"And would you please tell the court how you have managed to be on tour and

take care of Abigail the past several weeks?"

Edward described, in detail, exactly how Abby had been cared for. He talked

about Mary and the fact that Mary and Abby had their own personal tour bus for the
times that we needed to travel by ground. He described the way Mary kept Abby on
a very strict schedule. He told about how Abby was kept away from the reporters as
much as possible and away from the crowds. He talked about the time that was
always set aside for Edward and me to be with Abby and special activities that we
did with her. He told them everything there was to tell, including her special trip
back to Chicago to visit with her mother's family that ended in disaster.

"Has caring for your daughter while on tour been difficult for you, Edward?"

"No more difficult than caring for a four year old child ever is. There are always

trying times, but I have more help than most parents. I have Bella and Mary, who
both help with Abby enormously, and my parents help out as well. Abby has well
rounded relationships with all of the folks involved in her care."

I watched Edward as Demetri questioned him further as to why he had asked for

sole custody of Abby. Edward was uncomfortable, but I could see him visibly relax
when he looked over at me and I nodded my head to him. It was all the
encouragement he needed to go forth.

"Bella and I were married earlier this morning."

Tanya gasped. I smiled inwardly. Tanya's lawyers started shuffling through

paperwork that was spread out before them on the table.

Edward continued, "I believe that she and I can provide a more stable

environment in which to raise Abigail than Tanya can provide with her drug
addiction problem. Tanya repeatedly put Abby's life and well-being in danger while
she had residential custody of her, and I don't believe her to be a suitable mother. In
light of that situation, I decided to ask for sole custody of my daughter rather than
joint custody. If, at some point in the future, Tanya were to prove herself to the
court to be worthy of coming back into Abigail's life, I would consider joint custody

- 279 -

at that time, but I don't believe that time is now."

Demetri finished his line of questioning and sat down. He gave me a reassuring

look as one of Tanya's lawyers got up and started pacing the courtroom before
stopping in front of Edward to ask him questions. He started off with a benign
enough line of questioning, but it wasn't long before he got down to the real
nitty-gritty. He asked Edward questions about being on tour and how much he drank
and how much he did drugs. Edward was very honest about all of his answers
stating that he usually drank a little bit after a show, but that Abby was not around
for that. He told the court that he had not done any drugs whatsoever during this
tour and that he didn't intend to.

When Edward said, "on this tour," I sat up in my chair. I could see the lawyer

honing in on that one little statement. I knew that Edward had done some drugs in
his past. Nothing serious and he never had a problem with them, per se, but he had
done some.

"Mr. Cullen, you stated that you have not done any drugs on this tour, is that

correct?"

"Yes, sir."

"So, you're saying that you have done drugs in the past?"

"Minimally, yes."

"What if you have a moment of weakness and go back to them?"

"I won't."

"How do you know?"

"I just know. I have no desire for any illegal substances. I don't have an addiction

to any illegal substances. It won't happen."

I could see that Edward was getting frustrated, but he kept his composure and

continued to answer the questions. The lawyer finally ran out of things to ask and
sat down. Edward came back to sit next to me and he was visibly shaken. He
grasped my hand and he was trembling. I felt so terrible for him. I clasped his hand
between both of mine and held it tightly. It had to have been awful answering
questions about his personal life like that. They had asked about me and wanted
intimate details about our relationship, which Edward had denied them. The judge

- 280 -

agreed that some of the things they asked were, frankly, no one's business.

Demetri then called Tanya to the stand. I took a deep breath and squeezed

Edward's hand. This was going to be difficult for both of us, I feared.

"State your full name for the record."

"Tanya Lynn Denali Cullen."

"Ms. Cullen, you were recently released from jail, is that correct?"

Demetri was going for the throat. Edward held tight to my hand and we waited for

the fallout.

My stress level was running high and I was glad that I had taken one of the

anti-anxiety pills the doctor in Columbus had given me before we walked into court.
I couldn't imagine how stressed I would have been without it. I was concerned that
they were almost gone, as were the sleeping pills, and I made a mental note to ask
Carlisle about refilling them before we left on tour again. I needed to remain strong
for Edward.

I listened to Tanya make excuses about how she had been in jail unfairly and how

everything was Edward's fault. My nervousness quickly dissipated into anger. I
could tell by the tension in Edward's grip on my hand that he was becoming angry
as well. Fortunately, the judge finally decided it was time for a recess for lunch and
we didn't have to listen to her for a while.

Rhianne had taken care of having lunch brought in for all of us and I was grateful

that she was there to take care of such things. We ate quietly and finally Edward
asked Demetri if there was a place where we could talk to him privately. Demetri
nodded and took us to another room.

Edward was mostly concerned about the things he had been asked to discuss

while on the stand. Demetri reassured him that everything was fine and going
according to plan. Edward apologized to me and I just couldn't believe what I was
hearing.

"Edward, you don't have to apologize. You didn't say anything that you hadn't

already told me!"

"I hated you hearing it… in there," he said quietly, his eyes on the floor.

- 281 -

I stepped over to him and put my arms around him. "I love you, Edward. We've all

done things we wish we wouldn't have. That's life."

It was time to go back into the courtroom and I was wishing like hell that Edward

and I were anywhere but there. What a fucking nightmare.

Tanya got back on the stand and she nearly made me sick with her ass shaking all

over the damn place. I tried as hard as I could not to look at her, but she was
making such a fucking spectacle of herself- who could keep from looking at her?

Once everyone was in place, Tanya continued her assault on Edward's abilities as

a husband, a human, a father, hell- she even tried to say that he was a shitty lover
when they were married. I knew that most of the shit that she was saying was for my
benefit, but I wished, on Edward's behalf, that she would just shut the fuck up.
Demetri cut her off a few times, but for the most part, he just let her say whatever
the fuck she wanted. Her attorney actually stood up and objected to her answers a
time or two. I had to stifle my laughter at that.

When Demetri had finally gone through all of her jail time, her drug use, her

leaving Abigail alone, her drug dealers visiting the house, and all the other shit she
did, he stepped down and let her attorney have at her. Of course, he tried to make
her look like she had been victimized in some way and that was the biggest load of
shit I'd ever heard. I rolled my eyes more than a few times.

Once Tanya was off the damn stand, we were able to move on, so Demetri called

Seth to the stand. Seth and Brady both testified to what they had seen while they
had been watching Tanya for Edward. Seth told about the night that Tanya left and
he went in to get Abby and took her to Edward and how upset Edward had been. I
could see that it was killing Edward to have to rehash all that shit, but I tried to
reassure him the best I could while sitting in a courtroom with a hundred onlookers.

Oh yeah, the fucking press was there, of course. How could Edward ever have

anything happen in his private life without the press being involved? I just shook my
head at them. They were so stupid and nosy sometimes.

After Seth and Brady, Demetri called Carlisle to the stand. I kept waiting for him

to call me, but so far he hadn't. I was getting really nervous about it and wished he
would just hurry up and put me up there already.

Carlisle did a beautiful job of testifying on Edward's behalf. He told the court how

proud he was of his son to be juggling his busy schedule and taking such good care
of his daughter. He told about how Abby had spent the weekend with Esme and him

- 282 -

and how well that had gone. He said that Abby seemed to be more well-adjusted
after having been on the road with Edward for a month than she was before she left.
Apparently, Abby had nightmares about her mother, which was something I didn't
know. It broke my heart to think that bitch gave her four year old daughter
nightmares. I had never wanted to kill anyone as much as I wanted to kill her.

After Tanya's attorney was done with Carlisle, Demetri looked over at me and

nodded once. That was my sign. I was next. I almost threw up on the floor. Edward
squeezed my hand and kissed my forehead just before I got up to take the stand.

I laid my trembling hand on the Bible and swore to tell the truth, the whole truth,

and nothing but the truth before stating my full name for the record.

"Isabella Marie Swan Cullen." I looked right at Edward when I said the last part. It

was the first time I had said his name aloud attached to mine, and it felt so good. He
was beaming at me.

Demetri stood before me and smiled. I was thankful that he was up first. I would

have been a wreck if I had to face Tanya's dirtbag lawyer first.

"You prefer to be called 'Bella,' is that correct?"

"Yes."

"Okay, Bella. I've just got a few questions for you. Don't be nervous."

I smiled back at him and kept my eyes on him as he asked me the questions. He

started with the easy ones… 'Where do you work? Where do you live? How did you
and Edward meet? Tell me about how it is to have Abby on tour with you? Do you
and Abby get along?' …and then moved on to the hard ones.

"Can you please tell the court about your relationship with Mike Newton, Bella?"

I took a deep breath. I had known this was coming, but I was damn glad that

Demetri asked it first.

"I was living with Mike Newton for a few years while I lived in Seattle. We were to

be married, but he was physically and emotionally abusive, so I broke off the
relationship and moved in with my friend Alice several months before Edward and I
met." Demetri had told me to stay short and to the point, not to offer too much
information when I answered this particular line of questioning.

- 283 -

"Have you had contact with Mr. Newton recently, Bella?"

"He showed up in Columbus, Ohio when we were there, but I didn't actually talk

to him myself. He seemed to be of the opinion that I was going to drop Edward and
go back home with him. I'm not sure what his motivation was for being there, other
than jealousy."

"Do you email, write, or call Mr. Newton?"

I looked at Demetri incredulously. What the hell was he thinking? There was no

fucking way I was staying in touch with that mother-fucker. Then again, I had no
idea what Tanya's attorneys had up their sleeves, so I just answered the fucking
question.

"No, sir, I don't. I don't have any ongoing contact with Mr. Newton. In fact, I've

had to change my phone number a couple of times in the past to keep him from
trying to have contact with me."

"So, you don't want to have contact with him?"

"No!" I answered emphatically, trying to make sure everyone in the room

understood that I didn't want, nor would I ever want, contact with Mike Newton.

"Alright, Bella. Now, can you please tell me a little bit about your previous

relationship with Jacob Black?"

I did my best to keep from snorting. I glared at my dad who was looking at the

floor. It was still a sore subject between us.

"I dated Jacob Black in high school. His father is friends with my father. They

wanted us to date, so we did."

"Can you tell the court why that relationship ended?"

I nodded before taking a deep breath. "Jacob lived on the Quileute reservation

outside of Forks at La Push, Washington. He and some of the other kids on the
reservation used to like to have bonfire parties at First Beach. We were at one of
these bonfire parties one night and Jacob had been drinking quite a bit. He tried to…
forcefully… make me have sex with him. I fought him off and went home. I stopped
seeing him after that." I glanced at my father several times while I told the story. It
must have been the first time that he realized I hadn't been exaggerating when I got
home that night, even though my blouse was torn. I really wanted to punch Charlie

- 284 -

in the fucking face right at that moment.

"Were any charges brought against Mr. Black?"

"No."

"Isn't your father Forks' Chief of Police?"

"Yes." Charlie looked as though he wanted to crawl under the carpet. Good.

"Why weren't any charges brought? Weren't you hurt in the attack?"

"Mostly my pride was hurt, but my blouse was torn and I had a scratch on my

chest, a hickey on my neck, and a fat lip. No charges were brought because… I don't
know why. I guess my father didn't believe me, or didn't want to believe me? Jacob's
father had been his friend for a very long time and I guess he didn't want to lose
that friendship. I'm not really sure. I guess you'd have to ask my father why charges
weren't brought." Charlie's shoulders were slumped down and he continued to stare
at the floor.

"Did this attack cause you any emotional problems in your later relationships?"

"No."

Demetri asked a few more questions about Newton and Jacob, but mostly he went

back to asking me about my relationship with Edward. I was thankful, because at
least talking about Edward wasn't painful.

"Are you an alcoholic, Bella?"

"No. I rarely drink. A glass of wine or an occasional beer is all I ever drink."

"Do you partake of illegal substances?"

"No."

"Have you ever?"

"No."

I couldn't figure out where Demetri was going with this particular line of

questioning, but just when I was about to start getting pissed off about it, he

- 285 -

stopped and sat down. I was really glad that was over, but terrified when Tanya's
lawyer stood and made his way over to me.

"Hello, Bella. I'd just like to ask a few questions as well, okay?"

"Mrs. Cullen, please, and that's fine." I wasn't sure if it was appropriate, but I

decided that this particular scumbag wasn't going to be calling me Bella.

He looked irritated with me, but the judge didn't say anything, and Demetri

nodded his head and smiled at me.

"Alright, Mrs. Cullen." Could he have been any more sarcastic sounding?

Seriously.

"You and Mr. Cullen were married this morning?"

"Yes."

"Would you like to tell us why the rush on getting married?"

"We're not going to be back in Chicago for a while and we had everyone here that

we wanted at the wedding. We decided that now was best."

"So, it didn't have anything to do with this proceeding today?"

"No. Edward and I got married because we're in love, we wanted to be married,

and Edward asked me."

"But you've only known each other for a few months. How do you know that

getting married right now is the right thing to do?"

I stared at him. I wasn't sure what he was getting at.

"How does anyone know that getting married is the right thing to do? Right now, I

can't imagine my life without Edward and he says the same about me. If that's not a
good enough reason, I don't know what is."

Tanya's lawyer looked perplexed. Fear was rolling through me. I had no idea what

he was up to, but I knew it couldn't be anything good. He walked over to his table
and I took a few deep breaths, waiting for what was to come.

"Mrs. Cullen, are you aware that my client has made accusations of abuse towards

- 286 -

Mr. Cullen? And are you also aware that women who have been in previously
abusive relationships tend to gravitate towards other abusive relationships? Can you
please tell me the extent of abuse that Mr. Cullen has subjected you to during your
short romance?"

If I had awakened with my face stapled to the carpet, I wouldn't have been more

surprised. Demetri stood up and immediately objected to the questions. The judge
denied his objection and ordered me to answer. I looked at Edward and my fear
calmed. His eyes were full of light and he was smiling at me. I knew that all I had to
do was be honest, but I was so pissed off about the line of questioning to start with
that I wasn't sure how to approach the answer.

"Edward has never been abusive towards me or anyone else that I've witnessed. I

know that Tanya has made allegations of abuse towards Edward, and I can't
speculate on that because I don't know. I wasn't there. As for women going to
abusive relationships, I can tell you with absolute certainty that the woman sitting
before you today wouldn't tolerate any abuse from any man ever again, and if any
man attempted said abuse, he'd be out the door so fast it would make his head spin.
Edward included. Edward has not, and does not, abuse me, any member of my
family or his, or any member of his road crew, or anyone that works for him, to my
knowledge." I crossed my arms and glared at the attorney, waiting for more.

"Does he spank Abigail?"

This guy had to have been on crack. I was sure that all of this came from Tanya. I

loathed the bitch even more. Demetri stood and objected again, and was overruled,
again. I sighed.

"No. I've never seen Edward spank Abigail, nor have I ever heard him threaten to

spank her."

"Thank you, Mrs. Cullen. That will be all, for now."

The judge told me that I could step down and I was so relieved. I nearly tripped

over my own feet getting back to the table to sit down next to Edward. I was
shaking. I really hoped the day was almost over. To my utter glee, the judge
announced that it was time to recess until the next day.

After a brief meeting with Demetri, in which he told me that I had done a

wonderful job, we went down to get in the car and go home. It had been a long,
exhausting day and I couldn't wait to be alone with Edward. He was my sanctuary,
my peace in the midst of the chaos.

- 287 -

End Note: No, we're not leaving to go back on tour yet. Soon. I promise. My

readers are wonderful. Have I told you that lately? Because you are. Every single
flippin' one of you is awesome and I love you all to death. I know I suck at answering
reviews, so may I just say thank you to every single one of you who continue to
review even though I don't answer. Honestly, the reviews are what keep me going
some days.

So, I had laptop fail and had to get a new one. Thank GOD I didn't lose any of my

writing or I would still be throwing a fit and everyone would have heard me
screaming around the world by now. But, we're up and running on the new laptop
and that's just awesomesauce.

I have some fucktastic friends in this fandom and have had the honor to chat with

some fucktastic people on Twitter who happen to love my story, which makes it kind
of a *squee* moment for me when I see the story being pimped out. Thanks so much
you guys. It means more than you can know. If you haven't joined us on Twitter yet,
please do so, and be sure to follow me. JuJuRN40. Although, right now I'm grounded
from Twitter, self-imposed, because I have eight chapters in my inbox that need to
be beta'd. Soon as they're done, I'll be back on Twitter. OK, so I'm gonna go Tweet
that I updated... but then I'm gone for a few days. Speaking of me beta'ing, have you
gone to my profile and checked out the authors I beta for? They've all got some
awesome stories and I would love it if all of my readers would go and read theirs and
review for them! They need some feedback too! Thanks!

Edward just popped his head in the living room and told me to tell everyone that

Tanya is a skanky bitch and he's in the shower right now still trying to wash her off
him after all this time. Isn't that sweet? Oooh, Edward's in my shower. Naked. And
wet. I gotta go.

Review! Remember, we need gas for the Velvet's Vixens tour bus and the only way

to get gas for the tour bus is to get reviews!

- 288 -

Change

A/N: Nobody reads anything up here anyway, so I'll see you all at the end. :)

Disclaimer: The standard "I don't own this shit" applies. Does anyone read these

either? Seriously? OK... so I don't own the Twilight characters, but all the other shiz
is mine. Don't be freaking copying it without my fucking permission. That is all.

Edward

It occurred to me as we made our way out of the courthouse that officially, Bella

and I were supposed to be on our fucking honeymoon. There were reporters
everywhere outside and the bodyguards had to make a path for us to walk to the
car. It was like the parting of the Red Sea. They were shoving microphones in both
of our faces and screaming questions at us as we passed. Bella looked utterly
horrified, but to her credit, she put on a brave smile and kept her mouth shut, which
was probably best. I grabbed her hand and pushed my way through the mob, only
stating "no comment" once or twice.

Once we were safely ensconced in the limo, I turned to Bella and said, "Sorry

about all that, baby. I should've warned you it would be that way."

Her soft eyes and loving smile immediately caused Velvet Junior to react and I was

actually a little embarrassed that he was acting up just then. My only saving grace
was that Bella and I were alone in the back of the car. Everyone else had been
ushered into a different car by Rhianne and the bodyguards, which I hadn't thought
about questioning until now. I picked up the intercom phone to ask the driver.

"Yes, sir, Mr. Cullen, what can I do for you?" the driver said politely from the other

side of the smoked glass that separated the compartments. I glanced around and
noticed that there was a bottle of Dom Perignon chilling in an ice bucket to my left.

"Can you tell me where we're going?" I had a sneaking suspicion that Rhianne had

planned something without telling me and if she had done what I thought she had, I
was going to owe her another bonus.

"Yes, sir, Miss Adams instructed me to drop the two of you off at the Drake Hotel."

Fuck. Rhianne was always a step ahead of me.

- 289 -

"Thank you," I said before hanging up the intercom.

I grabbed the bottle of champagne and popped the top, pouring two glasses. I

handed Bella one and turned to her. Her face still held the same loving look. I could
have gotten lost in her eyes forever. I clinked my glass gently against hers and said,
"Here's to our wedding night, Mrs. Cullen."

Bella's eyes were full of wonder when we walked into the Presidential Suite at the

Drake. We had stayed in some swanky places, but this suite beat all. We had
fabulous views of the lake and the suite was really spacious. It was at least as big as
my apartment just a few blocks away, but provided us privacy and anonymity that I
feared we wouldn't be able to have either at my apartment or house tonight.

Rhianne had left no detail undone. She had taken the liberty of having suitcases

delivered to the suite, which were already in the bedroom and laying open. A spread
of fresh food was on the dining room table, and it was obvious that the staff's timing
had been impeccable because the candles had been lit just before we arrived, by the
looks of things. I sat the champagne bottle down on the table and took Bella in my
arms, pressing my lips softly against hers. She kissed me back hungrily and our
bodies melted together.

Before we got too carried away, I suggested we eat our dinner. Bella agreed and

we sat across from each other at the candlelit table. I must have spent more time
watching Bella eat than eating myself. Each time she opened her mouth to put
something in it, I couldn't take my eyes off her. Her mouth was just so damned
sensuous.

We chatted about court and what she thought of Tanya, having met her twice now.

Bella didn't have many good things to say about Tanya, which was really funny to me
for some reason.

When we both finally pushed away from the table, Bella smiled at me seductively

before she walked into the bedroom and shut the door in my face. I tried it, but she
had it locked. I sighed before going back to the living room and plopping down on
the couch. Denied. Damn. I couldn't help but wonder what she could possibly be
doing in there and had worked myself into a frenzy of fantasy before I heard the lock
on the bedroom door click. I heard her giggling and her soft footsteps running in the
other room.

When I pushed open the door, she was sitting on the bed. Soft light shone in from

the windows and highlighted the golden strands in her chestnut hair that was
cascading over her shoulders. I stopped and took a sharp intake of air as my eyes

- 290 -

wandered down and I took in the black lace negligee that left very little to the
imagination. I looked back up at her shining face and saw that her bottom lip was
carefully wedged in her teeth, but she was still smiling.

I beheld the beauty that sat in front of me and all of the events of the last couple

of days crashed all around me like lava-bombs from a volcanic eruption. Bella was
mine. I had gotten married again… something that a year ago I had sworn would
never…ever…ever…happen again. I was one day closer to hopefully making Abby
mine forever without having to worry about that bitch… uh… whateverthefuck her
name is... and Bella. Her name was the only one on my mind. When I said it, the
sound was like heaven falling from my lips.

I crossed the distance between us quickly and knelt in front of her on the floor,

placing my head on her lap and wrapping my arms around her waist. I wasn't sure
what I was feeling in that moment. I was overwhelmed. I loved her so fucking much.
It was as though I couldn't breathe on my own. If there was even a millimeter of
distance between us, I didn't feel whole.

Her hands came down and she lovingly stroked my hair, pulling her fingers

through it, and murmuring whispered words of love to me.

The more time I spent with Bella, the more I felt like Edward and the less I felt

like Velvet. It was wonderful and distressing all at the same time. I mean, what if I
turned into some pussy-whipped love-struck dumbass who couldn't rap for shit?
Everything I had done over the past few months had happened on instinct. Reading
Bella's letter, writing back to her, emailing her, calling her, meeting her, taking her
with me, falling head over heels in love with her, wanting her, needing her,
marrying her… none of it had been anything I had to think about. It just felt… right.
And it still did. I wanted to protect her. I wanted to possess her. No. I needed to
possess her. No. That just sounds like some jealous fucked up control freak bullshit.
I wanted… and needed… to share my life with her. I needed to love her and feel her
love in return.

I sat up and looked into her gleaming eyes and saw everything I needed for the

rest of my life in them. All the love, acceptance, desire… everything… that I needed
to have in my life, were there in her eyes.

"Is everything alright, Edward?" she asked with concern darkening her features. I

wanted to blurt out everything I had been thinking, but more than that, I wanted to
make love to my wife. My wife. MY wife. My WIFE.

"Everything is perfect, my Bella, as long as you're with me," was the pansy-assed

- 291 -

shit that finally came out of my mouth. Sometimes when I was with Bella, I
wondered who the fuck I actually WAS.

She smiled lovingly and grasped my forearms, squeezing them tightly before

resting her hands softly on them, running her thumbs back and forth across my skin
and causing goosebumps to rise all over me. Then, of course, there was the biggest
goosebump of all, Velvet Junior, who seemed to have finally risen from his dead
slumber.

I pulled her to me, pulling her closer to the edge of the bed, and leaned up to kiss

her. When our lips met, it was soft, and warm, and sensual. There was no urgency,
but there was lust. I nibbled gently at her lips before darting my tongue out of my
mouth and across them. Her lips parted and I felt it all the way to my toes when our
tongues met. I slid my tongue along hers and into her mouth, deepening the kiss,
while I crawled up from the floor onto the bed next to her. I pulled her along with
me and soon we were in the middle of the bed kissing, moaning, touching each
other.

I took my time that night, touching her skin, feeling her warmth, bathing in my

desire for her and hers for me. I leaned up on my elbow so that I could kiss a line
across her jaw and down to the hollow of her neck, then across her shoulder. My
thumb brushed across her nipple and I felt it pebble in response to my touch.

Bella started to unbutton my shirt and with a grin, I sat up and yanked it open,

buttons flying across the room in every direction. Bella giggled softly as I pulled the
shirt off and discarded it on the floor.

"Your laughter is music to my ears, love," I whispered before reaching down to

pull her to me. I needed to feel her skin against mine. I needed to feel our hearts
pounding together. Her hands ran up and down my sides and I could feel my
muscles ripple in response.

I finally shed my suit pants and boxers, and laid with her on the bed. The kisses,

the touches… it was all amazing… and when I finally entered her, I felt like nothing
else mattered. We were one. Forever.

After our mutual climaxes, we collapsed together on the bed and I pulled the

covers up over us. Bella snuggled her head into the crook of my neck and we slept in
a tangled mass of limbs. I couldn't tell where I stopped and she began.

Morning brought a new day and I was pleasantly surprised when I awoke to a big

spread of breakfast food that had been brought to the bed by Bella. It was early, so

- 292 -

we ate a leisurely breakfast while chatting about the day to come. Bella knew that I
was stressed about what the day in court would bring, but as always, she calmed my
fears and reminded me that she stood with me no matter what happened. I don't
deserve her. She's too good to me.

Our arrival at the courthouse was as big a fiasco as our departure the previous

afternoon had been. The fucking reporters and paps were everywhere. After we had
finally pushed through the mess, going through security was like breathing a sigh of
relief.

There were guards posted outside the courtroom and I raised my eyebrow and

looked to Demetri to tell me what was going on.

"I petitioned the judge to ban the press from the proceedings," he shrugged. "The

guards are just making sure that none of those vultures get in here."

I chuckled at a lawyer calling reporters vultures. It was completely oxymoronic

and hysterical.

The knots in my stomach tightened when Tanya arrived, looking a little more on

the conservative side. Apparently she decided that the slutty-whore look was out and
the 'I'm a good mommy' look was in for the second day. I rolled my eyes and shook
my head to which Bella giggled softly. The sound broke through my tension like a
knife through butter and I turned around to talk to our family and friends who had
gathered behind us.

Charlie walked to the aisle nearest the wall and motioned Bella over. I watched

her bite her lower lip and then move towards him in trepidation. I started to get up
but she motioned for me to stay, so I continued to visit with those left behind us,
while keeping an ear out for any distress from Bella. When she came back and sat
down, she had a look of relief on her face, but before I could ask her what was up,
the bailiff had called for everyone to stand.

After the judge entered and we all sat down, Demetri told the judge that he had no

more witnesses to call at this time, but reserved the right to call new witnesses after
Tanya's side was done. Bella stiffened, but I put my arm around her and squeezed.
We were in the home stretch and they had already questioned her. I couldn't
imagine who they would have to call other than Tanya's crazy family at this point.

Unfortunately, I was right. Eleazar was called to testify as a character witness for

his daughter. Seriously? She couldn't do any better than her father? I found myself
rolling my eyes while Eleazar talked about how I wouldn't allow Carmen and him to

- 293 -

see Abby, wouldn't allow her aunts to spend time with her, how horrible I had been
to Tanya. Demetri nailed him though. It was one of the best moments of my life.

"Mr. Denali, did you ever witness Mr. Cullen's alleged abuse of Ms. Cullen?"

"Well, no, but I had to…"

"Did you ever see bruises on her?"

"No, but he's smart, he never…"

"Were you ever called to the hospital to pick her up due to injuries caused by Mr.

Cullen?"

Eleazar was squirming in his chair. Every time he tried to elaborate, Demetri cut

him off. I could feel myself smirking, but damn it, I couldn't stop.

"No, I never had to…"

"Have you ever been called to bail Ms. Cullen out of jail for drug related charges?"

Eleazar silently stared at Demetri, obviously not wanting to answer. The tension in

the air was palpable and the silence was deafening. After a full minute of waiting,
the judge ordered Eleazar to answer the question. I celebrated within my own mind.

"Yes." Huh. Eleazar didn't seem to want to embellish so much information to this

particular line of questioning.

"Have you picked Ms. Cullen up at the hospital following an overdose?"

Eleazar's eyes dropped to his lap and his voice was barely above a whisper when

he answered, "Yes."

"And Mr. Denali, how many times, would you estimate, that you've either bailed

Ms. Cullen out of jail or picked her up at the hospital following an overdose?"

Eleazar continued to stare at his lap, or the floor, or whatever he was looking at.

"Several," he muttered.

"Can you be more specific, Mr. Denali? Would you say it's ten times? Twenty?

Thirty?" Demetri asked with his back to Eleazar, looking directly at Tanya.

- 294 -

"Probably about fifteen times," Eleazar said miserably.

Demetri turned back to him and walked up to the witness box. "So, you're telling

me that you never witnessed any of the alleged abuse perpetrated on Ms. Cullen by
Edward, you never saw a bruise on her that he inflicted, never picked her up at the
hospital after he had allegedly beaten her, but you've picked her up from either jail
or the hospital following a drug related incident about fifteen times, and you are
here today telling the court that you think this makes her more of a fit parent than
Edward is?"

Eleazar's eyes were wide and he nodded once.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Denali, I don't think the court could hear your answer," Demetri

prodded.

"Yes. I'm here on behalf of my daughter's right to custody of her daughter."

"Thank you, Mr. Denali. That will be all," Demetri said icily and strode back to the

table to sit.

The judge excused Eleazar and asked for the attorneys to approach the bench. I

couldn't hear what they were saying because they were all whispering, but the judge
looked irritated. Bella clasped my hand and squeezed it, reminding me that she was
there with me. Every time she did that, it was like a shot of the world's best
euphoric drug had just been injected into my veins and was roaring through my
body, working its magic.

Demetri walked back to the table with a smirk on his face. I looked to him to tell

me what was happening, but he just shook his head and sat down. The judge
shuffled some papers on his desk and then folded his hands in front of him before
addressing the court.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I've heard all I need to hear to make a decision in this

case. Unless anyone else has anything to add that would actually be helpful, I'm
ready to render my decision."

I was a little surprised by how quickly the judge had ended Tanya's so-called

assault on me. Demetri stood and said, "The petitioner has nothing more to add,
Your Honor."

The judge nodded and looked over at the table where Tanya was arguing with her

attorneys. He pounded his gavel on the base once. "Does the respondent have

- 295 -

anything else to add?"

One of Tanya's attorneys stood, cleared his throat, and said, "Your Honor, if we

may, we'd like to confer with our client. May we ask for a sixty minute recess?"

The judge rolled his eyes. "You've got fifteen minutes. Make it quick," he said, his

voice laced with irritation. He pounded the gavel again and stood to go into his
chambers.

Tanya and her attorneys made a quick exit out into the hallway and our side of the

courtroom immediately erupted into chatter. Demetri told us that the judge had told
them he was done listening. Tanya's lawyers had tried to argue, but to no avail.
Tanya could be heard yelling out in the hallway, even through the heavy oak doors
that separated the courtroom from the hall.

Bella whispered to me that her father had called her over to the corner to

apologize to her for the Jacob situation and for her humiliation on the stand because
of it. I was happy that at least that tiny piece of good had come of the whole thing.

Fifteen minutes passed quickly and before I knew it, the judge was again taking

the bench. My stomach knotted again, but only briefly. Tanya's attorney stood and
asked that they be allowed more character witnesses who had different experiences
with Tanya, but the judge denied them stating Tanya's record spoke for itself. I was
almost giddy.

He awarded sole custody of Abigail to me. Tanya's visitation rights were

suspended pending successful drug treatment. She was also ordered to pay child
support and a restraining order was put on her to keep her away, not only from
Abby and me, but from Bella, any member of my family or Bella's, and any person or
persons employed by me.

After the judge got done reading his decision and left, I turned to Bella and

hugged her tightly. We were interrupted by the sound of fists pounding on the table
in front of us. Bella jumped and I turned to see what the fuck was going on. The
bailiff was on his way over while Tanya screamed at me.

"You miserable fucking prick! How fucking dare you do this to me!" The bailiff

took hold of her arm and she snatched it out of his grip. Her attorneys flanked her
and started trying to pull her away from the table, but she fought them as well. I
didn't bat an eye. I just stared at her. She was completely off her rocker. Insanity
was present in her eyes.

- 296 -

"You're going to regret this, Cullen!" she screamed as her attorneys dragged her

away and out of the courtroom. "I'll get you! I'll get her back one way or the other!"

After she was in the hall I looked at Bella and started laughing. "Well, that was

interesting," I mused.

We all rushed out of the courtroom then and plowed through the crowd to the

cars. Rhianne got into the car breathless, looked at me, and said, "You really need to
give them something, Edward."

I nodded and got back out of the car with Emmett and Matt by my side. The

reporters all stuck their microphones in my face and started shouting questions, but
I just held up my hand.

"I'm just going to make a brief statement. I've got my baby and I'm thrilled that

the judge saw fit to award me sole custody. Bella and I were married yesterday in a
small private ceremony and we couldn't be happier. I leave tomorrow to finish my
'Heartache & Misery 2009 World Tour,' so I hope to see you all again soon." I waved
to the cameras and got back in the car as the shouted questions were muffled by the
closing of the car door when Emmett climbed back inside.

Back at the house, there was a flurry of activity. Charlie had to be taken to the

airport so he was packing. Bella and I were leaving on tour the next day, so we were
packing. Alice and Jasper were leaving the next day so they were packing. Rosalie
was leaving on the same flight as Charlie, so she was packing. Emmett, who was
really enjoying his role as bodyguard, was staying with us for a while. In fact,
Rosalie would be joining us in a few days after she took care of some things at her
dealership. Bella and I were both ecstatic that Emmett and Rosalie were going to
join us. Alice had also made some noises about moving to Chicago and she was
working on Jasper to move his practice. It was all still up in the air, but Bella was
excited that her friends wanted to be near her.

I didn't tell Abby about the verdict. It wouldn't have meant anything to her

anyway. She was too busy playing with the new American Girl doll that Bella had
ordered for her to care about anything else that was going on.

My parents came over for dinner that night. Bella was quiet and picked at her

food, although it was delicious. I knew she was sad that Charlie had left, but wasn't
sure what else was going on with her. Before Carlisle and Esme left that night, she
asked to talk to Carlisle in private for a moment. It bothered me, but I didn't think it
was a big enough deal to question her about it.

- 297 -

We went to bed early and Bella snuggled right up to me, but fell asleep almost

instantly. It had been a long day for both of us, but I found myself unable to get to
sleep. Finally, after tossing and turning for a couple of hours, afraid that I would
awaken Bella, I got up and went downstairs to my small private studio and laid down
a couple of tracks just for the hell of it. I was excited about the new studio that
would start construction soon. I spread the plans out in the mixing room of my
current studio and looked at them for about the thousandth time.

I checked the clock and noted that it was three in the morning. Fuck. I needed to

sleep. I sighed and picked up my glass of vodka that I had been nursing for a couple
of hours. The ice was gone and the vodka was watered down. It tasted like shit. I
went over to the wet bar to dump it out and start over when I heard the door open. I
turned to find Bella standing there in one of my black t-shirts.

"I'm sorry, baby, did I wake you?"

She smiled. "No, I woke up on my own. Whatcha doin' down here?"

I went to her and took her hand, leading her into the live room. "Just messin'.

Wanna mess around with me?" Bella giggled and I realized what I had said. "No, no,
I didn't mean that… what I meant was…" She shut me up by covering my lips with
hers.

"But I do want to mess around," she whispered.

Fuck.

I glanced around the room and tried to figure out where it would be best to deal

with the situation. My eyes landed on the ottoman of the chair in the corner. I
motioned her with my eyes and she immediately walked over to the ottoman and sat
down on it, pulling me to her.

"Fuck, Bella," I said in a strangled voice I didn't recognize as my own when she

lowered my sleep pants and took me in her mouth. I kicked the sleep pants away
and laid my hands gently on her head. I didn't want her to feel like I was pushing
her, but fuck her mouth on me felt good. She wrapped her hand around the base of
my dick and pumped it a couple of times, which made me weak in the knees. I stood
there, looking down at her, watching my cock disappear between her lips. It was the
most erotic thing I had ever seen. I was fascinated and addicted, immediately, to the
sight.

Bella smirked up at me with her lips devouring my cock and then cupped my balls.

- 298 -

My fucking balls. Holy mother of fuck it felt good. I moaned loudly and was intrigued
by how the sound disappeared in the sound proof room.

I lightly massaged her scalp and tried to keep my eyes on her while her tongue

swirled maddeningly around the head of my cock and then touched that place just
behind the head on the bottom of it that sent my libido soaring. I was trying like hell
to not do anything that would stop her from continuing on her course, but my hips
bucked towards her of their own volition. Fear welled in me, but Bella just hummed
around my cock and I saw the corners of her mouth go up into what could only be a
smile. The vibrations her voice sent through my cock, into my balls, and into the
very pit of my being were driving me insane.

I watched as she put her index finger in her mouth alongside my generous prick. I

couldn't fucking stop watching her. With one hand she reached behind me and
squeezed my ass, then pulled me even closer to her, swallowing more of my dick. I
moaned and threw my head back, and just as I did, I felt her wet finger pushing
against my anus. My hands fisted in her hair and I did nothing but moan and pump
her mouth as her slippery finger slid just inside my ass and pushed forward. I could
feel her finger wiggling a bit and when she pushed down with a little more force,
she found a highly sensitive area that caused me to come undone. I didn't even have
time to think. I just exploded in her mouth. It happened so fast that I hadn't warned
her or anything. I was equal parts turned on, shocked, and angry with myself so I
pulled back quickly, panting, and dropped to my knees in front of her.

"Oh God, Bella, I'm sorry," I said between breaths, but she shushed me by placing

her lips on mine and kissing me with wild abandon. I could taste myself on her
tongue and in any other situation, it would have completely repulsed me, but
somehow, with Bella, it was a fucking turn on.

It couldn't have been more than a minute before my cock was rock-hard and ready

to go again. Remembering my original plan, I turned her and pushed her over the
ottoman. She moaned and said, "Fuck!" as I took her from behind, sliding my dick
into her slowly, feeling her muscles pull me inside of her. She pushed back to meet
me and when I was fully sheathed inside of her, I grabbed her hips and held her
steady, wanting to feel every glorious inch of her pussy pulsing around me.

She wiggled her ass and moaned, "Edward, please," and I couldn't contain the

guttural groan that ripped from my lips as I started pumping her. Hard. She met my
thrusts and the sounds disappeared in the room.

Her ass slapped hard against my hips "thwack" and the sound disappeared.

- 299 -

My balls made contact with her clit "pop" and the sound disappeared.

We both moaned and growled and cried each other's names, and the sounds all

disappeared into the depths of the room.

It was eerie. And hot. And fucking amazing.

I reached beneath Bella and found her hard nub with my fingers, swirling them

around it, and Bella slammed into me and screamed. I pumped her hard a few more
times and felt her orgasm explode around my cock, which sent me over the edge
with her.

A few minutes later, Bella was still lying over the top of the ottoman and I was

laying over her. We were both panting and covered in sweat. My softening dick
finally slid out of her and she moaned with the loss of contact. I pulled myself
together and threw my ass in the overstuffed chair, pulling her onto my lap as I
went. She curled up in my arms and buried her head in the crook of my neck, still
heaving with the intensity of her climax.

I awoke a couple of hours later, still in the chair with Bella curled in my lap. I

looked around the room and inhaled deeply, still able to smell the scent of our sex in
the air. I smiled to myself and looked over at the clock, which told me it was just
after six. I knew I had to wake her up and get us both out of there before we were
discovered, but damned if I wanted to.

After a little coaxing, I got her awake and put my t-shirt back on her. She shivered

and I realized that it had cooled down significantly in the studio. It was always
difficult to tell when the fans came on to cool the equipment because they were
silent, but I felt the breeze from them on my naked skin as I pulled my sleep pants
back on and led Bella out, turning off the lights as I did. I also turned off the
equipment in the control room and grabbed my phone, pocketing it, as we made our
way out of the basement studio and up the stairs.

Loud banging on the main floor of the house surprised me as we made our way

out of the basement. Bella's eyes widened as we took in the scene before us when
we exited the basement door. There were three uniformed police officers in the
kitchen along with several plain clothes officers wandering between the kitchen and
the living room. It seemed as though everyone in the house was up except for Abby
and Mary. I kissed Bella on top of the head and sent her upstairs to get dressed
before I walked into the kitchen to address the hoard of people gathered there.

"What's going on?" I bellowed to get everyone's attention.

- 300 -

Esme… What the fuck is she doing here at this hour of the morning?... ran over to

me and threw her arms around me.

"Edward, where in God's name have you been all night?"

I blinked a couple of times, not sure where she was going with this. I saw Carlisle

walking towards me with a look of concern on his face. My thoughts went
immediately to Abby.

"I've been in the studio downstairs. It's soundproof and we fell asleep… What's

wrong? Where's Abby?" I started to turn to go upstairs and look for her when
Carlisle stopped me.

"Abby's fine, Edward. She's upstairs sleeping."

I turned back to him and stared. I couldn't even begin to imagine what had

happened and why my house was full of cops if Abby was okay. One of the plain
clothes officers strode towards me and took my hand firmly, shaking it.

"I'm Detective Peterson, Mr. Cullen. You gave us all quite a scare for a while."

I shook my head and knitted my brow in confusion. "What do you mean? I've been

downstairs in the studio all night. I…"

"Sit down, Mr. Cullen. We need to talk." Detective Peterson motioned towards the

kitchen table where two other detectives sat with mounds of paperwork spread out
all over the place.

I warily walked to the table and pulled out a chair to sit when I felt Bella's

presence by my side. She tapped me lightly on the arm and handed me a shirt. I
looked to her gratefully and pulled it over my head, noticing as I did so that it was
the shirt she had been wearing just moments before because it still smelled of her.
Evil vixen.

She sat down next to me and took my hand as we both anxiously stared across the

table at the three detectives who stared back at us. Detective Peterson seemed to be
in charge and he did all the talking.

"Mr. Cullen, can you tell me again where you've been all night?"

"I've been downstairs in my studio. I couldn't sleep and didn't want to wake Bella

so I went down to lay down a few experimental tracks. Bella joined me around three

- 301 -

and we fell asleep in the live room." I felt blush heating my cheeks as I explained
this to the cop who had yet to tell me why I was explaining myself. "We just woke up
and came upstairs to this," I finished, motioning around the room.

"Can you prove you were there all night?"

What the fuck? "Do I need to prove I was there all night?"

"You might."

"Fine. Has anyone called Demetri?" I asked loudly and in a very angry voice. I had

no idea what the hell was going on, but it was obvious that I was suspected of some
crime if the cops wanted an alibi for me.

"Demetri is on his way," Carlisle said gravely.

"Good. Now is somebody going to tell me what the fuck is going on around here?"

Bella's hand was sweating and squeezing mine. I was confused. I felt Carlisle's hand
on my shoulder, but didn't know what to think of anything. Before another minute
had passed, Demetri breezed into the kitchen and took the seat next to me.

"May I continue?" Detective Peterson asked Demetri, who nodded.

Before he could address me, his cell phone rang and he pulled it out of the holder

on his belt and answered. "Peterson here. Yes. Yes, he's here. Oh. I see. Uh huh…"

His conversation continued that way for a few moments and it was driving me

fucking nuts. I looked over at Demetri and said, "Do you know what the fuck's going
on?"

Demetri opened his mouth to speak just as Detective Peterson closed his phone. I

turned to look at the Detective and watched his jaw tighten and relax a couple of
times before he finally spoke. When he finished, I sat there, my mouth agape. The
implications of what he had just told me were far-reaching. I said the first thing that
came to my mind.

"What do you mean 'do I own a gun'?"

End Note: Yes, yes, I know. Evil Cliffie. I'm prepared for all the flamage. Just

remember, I've had one hell of a last four weeks and I'm not above flaming back.

- 302 -

'Nuff said.

Since we're going to have ONE more chapter in Chicago... at least... obviously, I'm

going to go ahead and send the Vixen's their tour dates. So, here we go...

Nashville, Jacksonville, Tampa, Orlando, Miami, Atlanta, Charlotte,

Raleigh/Durham, Washington DC, Toronto Canada, Montreal Canada, Quebec City
Canada, Calgary Canada, Vancouver Canada, Dublin Ireland, London England,
Manchester England, Glasgow Scotland, Paris France, Munich Germany, Berlin
Germany, Rome Italy, Sydney Australia, Tokyo Japan, Rio de Janiero, and back to
Chicago for the tour closer. NOW... If I've missed ANYONE, let me know in your
review and those cities will be added on as we finish out the story. Mmmmkay?

A BIG shout out to all my Aussie readers. You know who you are. I got nothin' but

love for all of ya! I might actually have more Aussie fans than US fans at this point...
Come on US girls, you're gonna have to catch up!

Many have asked how they get to be a Velvet's Vixen or if they can be one. Anyone

who leaves a review for this story is AUTOMATICALLY inducted into the Velvet's
Vixens and gets VIP passes for the shows ;) and a bus ticket for the VV Tour Bus,
and I'm thinking by the looks of the tour dates that we're going to have to charter a
plane. Everyone game for that? Remember, if you are already a Velvet's Vixen
because you've already reviewed this story, then your continued reviews buys fuel
for the tour bus/chartered jet.

Miss Lillie... I couldn't have made it through the last 30 days without you. All my

lubs bb. MWAH

Thank you DefinatelyStaying for your precious advice concerning a certain scene

in this chapter. :)

All the rest of my girls... LOVE YOU.

Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and if you don't celebrate those, Happy

whatever you do celebrate to you!

- 303 -

Elphaba

Disclaimer: SM owns all things Twilight, I own all things EC Velvet. Don't steal

my shit.

A/N: Happy New Year everyone!

Thank you Miss Lillie ~ Love you Hard!

Edward

"Don't answer that, Edward. Detective Peterson, are you charging my client with a

crime?" Demetri chimed in before anything else could be said.

"Not at this time, but I'm sure you can understand how he would be a person of

interest in this case, Mr. Moretti." Detective Peterson drummed his fingers on the
table in irritation.

Bella was squeezing my hand so tightly that it was cutting off the circulation to my

fingers. I looked to her to try and reassure her, but the look in her eyes was one of
pure terror. She was biting her lower lip so hard that I feared she would bite right
through it.

"I can understand why he would be a person of interest, but I want to know if this

is an official questioning. Is he a suspect? Whether or not you get any questions
answered right now depends on that. If he is, I'm not inclined to allow him to answer
any questions at this time. He's already told you that he was home all night. What
else do you need?"

Detective Peterson stood up and paced the kitchen floor. It was plain to see that

he was miffed. His cell rang again and he answered it, walking into the foyer as he
did so. Bella burst into tears and threw her arms around me.

"Oh my God, Edward. What on earth is happening?" I held her and stroked her

back, running my hand up and down it, feeling her heaving sobs.

"Shhh, Bella. Everything's gonna be just fine. What the hell, Demetri? Who even

let them in my fucking house?" I glanced around the room and Carlisle answered my
query.

- 304 -

"I let them in, Edward. I'm sorry."

"You? But… what?" I was confused. I thought Carlisle had arrived after the police

were at my house.

"I got a call from a friend at County. When they brought the body in, he was

worried about you. I tried to call and when you didn't answer, I was worried, too, so
Esme and I came over. We looked all over the house for you, but didn't think to look
downstairs. You and Bella were both gone and we were concerned that something
had happened to the both of you. When the detectives arrived, I let them in. When
they arrived, I asked them for some uniforms in case someone were to come after
Abby. I hope you understand, Edward. We were just concerned."

It had never occurred to me that this could be about me. I mean, when you're

famous, you always run the risk of some psycho deciding to take you and your entire
family out, or trying to provide you with their version of 'justice.' I hadn't had any
threats of late, but it had happened before. Hell, that's why security was of such
importance to me. I nodded to Carlisle and turned my attention back to Detective
Peterson as he re-entered the kitchen and sat down.

"Alright, Mr. Cullen. We've got a lead. I would like to ask you to remain in town

until we sort this out." I started shaking my head before he was even done speaking.

"I've got a tour going on right now. Do you have any idea how many hundreds of

thousands of dollars it would cost me if I cancelled or rescheduled any of my tour
dates? The record company would take it out of my ass. I can't afford to do that."
Detective Peterson looked thoughtful for a moment.

"I guess as long as we can get in touch with you if we need to, it's not that big of a

deal. It's not like you're going to be able to go anywhere that the press isn't going to
find you anyway. You're not leaving the country anytime soon are you?"

Fuck.

"We have Canadian dates starting in a couple of weeks."

"Well, we'll just have to cross that bridge when we come to it."

At least it was something I could live with.

The detectives all gathered up their belongings and got up to leave. Detective

Peterson asked me if I wanted the uniformed officers to stay behind. I told him I'd

- 305 -

rather they didn't. If we needed to go on lockdown, the place was like a fortress. I
was still not convinced that we were in any danger. He nodded in agreement and
ushered the uniformed officers out the door. As they went, two of them asked for
autographs, which I quite willingly provided. Just before Detective Peterson left, he
asked if I could prove that I was in my studio all night if the need arose.

"Yeah. That's not a problem. My computer system down there timestamps

everything. I should be able to account for the entire night."

He shook my hand and stepped out into the early morning fog. I watched the cars

pull out of the drive and watched the gate close behind them. I felt sure that this
had been a random act, or maybe not so random, but had nothing to do with me.

I walked into the living room, a little more than stunned. Bella was immediately by

my side as I looked to Carlisle for answers.

"So… she's dead?" Carlisle nodded his head.

"I'm sorry, Edward." The hell?

"Fuck, don't be sorry to me, Dad. I just don't know what the hell to tell Abby. Do I

tell her? Do I not? Do I take her to the funeral? Do I not? I honestly don't know what
the fuck to do."

"Language, Edward," my mom's voice said from behind me. I rolled my eyes. She

was relentless. I was a little irritated, stressed, and wasn't really concerned about
my use of language right at that moment. Whatever the case, I lashed out at her
needlessly.

"Have you ever listened to any of my albums, Mom? Seriously. This is the way I

talk. Get the fuck over it."

"Edward." It was all Carlisle had to say to me. I knew I was being too hard on her.

"Sorry, Mom. I'm a little stressed." Bella and I sat on the couch near the fireplace

and she rubbed her hand up and down my arm. I closed my eyes and laid my head
on the back of the couch, going over the events of the last hour.

Tanya had been found dead in an alley somewhere in south Chicago in a

neighborhood well known for drugs, prostitution, and violence. She'd been severely
beaten, had possibly OD'd on something, and had been shot in the chest. What. The.
Fuck. Was she fucking crazy or something? Okay, well, that was a rhetorical

- 306 -

question. I already knew the answer. She was a certifiable fucking lunatic.

Bella was talking softly to my parents and Rhianne. Somewhere along the line,

Mary had joined us. My cell phone vibrated in my pocket and I begrudgingly fished
it out. I looked at the screen and rolled my eyes before I answered it. I probably
shouldn't have, but I did anyway. It was the right thing to do.

"You should be in jail," Kate sneered through the phone.

"I'm really sorry to hear the news about your sister, Kate. Is there anything I can

do for you or your family?" Talking to Kate was akin to talking to Tanya. I just had to
bite my tongue and be the bigger person.

"Don't you think you've done enough, you piece of shit?!" she spat.

I sighed and toyed with hanging up on her, but decided that would just be childish

and unnecessary behavior, besides the fact that it would just antagonize her further.
After all, it had been Tanya's family who had been quick to point the finger at me for
her death. "Kate, I didn't make Tanya's choices for her. We divorced because we
weren't good for each other. It doesn't take away the fact that she was Abby's mom
and the only thing that I ever wished was that she would have been able to reconcile
that in her mind rather than making selfish decisions that left Abby out of the
equation in her life."

"Oh, so now you're going to play 'Mr. I-loved-her-but-she-was-stupid'?" Kate

clearly wasn't understanding me.

"Did you call for something other than to insult me?"

"Abby needs to be at her mother's funeral. We don't know when the coroner will

release the body. My mother asked me to call and see what time we can pick Abby
up so that she can be with us until the funeral."

Fuck. Damn it all to fucking hell. Shit.

"Uh, just a minute, Kate. Can you hang on?" She sighed, but agreed. I muted the

phone and asked Demetri what the fuck I should do. While I felt that in some sick
way Kate was right and Abby should be with them, I didn't trust them and no legal
provisions had been made as of yet for visitation with them. I wasn't about to just
start letting them fucking pick her up and keep her whenever they wanted to.
Arrangements would have to be made.

- 307 -

The first thing Demetri told me was to quit talking to her, or any other member of

the family for the time being. I handed him the phone to let him deal with it, which
he did. When he hung up he shook his head.

"She's almost as big of a piece of work as her sister was," he said, then continued,

"Whether Abby goes to Tanya's funeral is up to you, Edward, but they won't be
trying to pick her up and keep her until then. Some arrangements for visitation will
have to be made through the court."

"Thanks." Demetri was good to me, but all of his assistance came at a price. I paid

him well, so it didn't bother me to ask him to help with trivial things.

Alice, Jasper, and Emmett rolled into the living room shortly afterwards, all

looking bleary eyed. They had apparently slept through all of the chaos. When we
told them what was happening, they were appalled; mostly that no one had
awakened them earlier. Emmett was on his phone with Rosalie immediately, which
reminded Bella that she should call Charlie. I headed into the kitchen to turn on the
television and see what the damage was with the media.

Shortly thereafter, Paul arrived at the house with Sam in tow. I noticed when I

opened the door for them that the media circus had already begun out in front of my
property.

The rest of the morning was filled with phone calls and planning. When Abby got

up, I grabbed Bella and we took her to our bedroom to talk to her.

"Abigail, I have something I have to tell you, okay?"

"Okay, Daddy!" Abby climbed up on my lap and looked up at me with her bright

green eyes. Bella sat next to us and rubbed circles on my back with her hand.

"Abby, something bad happened to Mommy last night. She was… sick… and she

died." I was pretty sure that was the best way to explain it to her, but still didn't
know if she would completely understand.

Abby looked thoughtful and her eyes flitted from me to Bella and back. "You mean

Tanya, Daddy?" she whispered.

I had never heard Abby refer to Tanya by her first name and it took me by

surprise. "Uh, yeah, Tanya," was my lame reply. I waited for Abby to react.

Her little face flickered and I braced myself for the tears that were sure to come,

- 308 -

but they didn't.

"Will she be happy now, Daddy?" My little girl's words hit me like a wrecking ball.

How did she get to be so smart? I knew that she had been through a lot and was
probably more grown up than she should be at age four, but this revelation just
slayed me. I started to nod before I even answered.

"Yeah, baby. I think she'll be happy now, wherever she is." Bella's arm snaked

around my waist and squeezed me tight. I was so thankful to have her there with
me, to help me, to share with me, to be my support.

"You hungry, Abby? Want me to make you pancakes?" Bella asked, chucking Abby

on the chin.

Abby squealed and flew into Bella's arms. As she stood and left the room with her,

I mouthed a thanks to her and that I loved her, to which she blew me a kiss. As they
exited the door, Abby blew me a kiss, too.

"I love you, Daddy!" she cried.

After they left, I sat there on the edge of my bed in the silence. I couldn't say that

there wasn't a part of me that was sad about Tanya's death, because there was, but
that part of me was mostly sad for Abby that her mother had died. I mean, I'm not
some kind of monster. I do have feelings. I thought back over Tanya's and my
marriage and remembered the happy times that we did have. I remembered the day
that Abby was born and how I fell in love with her the instant I saw her and I
remembered the fun that Tanya and I had together when we were younger.
Considering I had lost my parents when I was young, I knew I was going to have a
lot of work to do with Abby. It made me sadder than anything that Abby had
followed in my footsteps in that respect.

Arrangements were pending for us to fly to Nashville. I sent the rest of the guys

ahead of Bella and me, wanting us to be able to take off at the last minute if
necessary. Matt and Emmett remained with us, as well as Rhianne. Everyone else
took off, including Alice and Jasper, who weren't very happy about leaving us all in
the midst of a mess, but Bella assured them that everything would be fine.

Demetri headed back to his office, assuring me that there would be no problem

with my leaving town. I felt badly that everyone who left had to drive through all of
the reporters that were gathered at the gate in front of my estate, but nobody
seemed to mind.

- 309 -

A few hours later, I received a phone call from Detective Peterson letting me know

that it was fine for me to leave. They had an eye witness that had fingered one of
Tanya's drug dealers as the shooter, as well as the person who had beaten her up. It
sounded like she had gone on a binge after court, went down to find her dealers,
freaked out and OD'd on something, which pissed the drug dealer off, and he beat
the hell out of her. Realizing that she was OD'ing on his doorstep, basically, he had
shot her and run. It was a tragic ending to her life and I felt sure it was going to
haunt my career somehow.

As Bella, Rhianne, Mary, Abby, Emmett, Matt, and I trooped out to the limousine

to head for the airport, I tucked them all inside, and walked down to the gate to talk
to the reporters. Emmett, ever the enthusiastic one, hopped out and joined me,
making sure that they were all just reporters. I nodded to him in thanks before I
opened the gate and stepped out to take a few questions. I answered a few before
the questions started to get entirely too personal and I cut them off, telling them
that I had to be on my way, as I had fans in Nashville expecting my arrival.

When we all finally boarded the private jet, I excused myself to the bedroom in

back to take a nap, asking Bella to join me if she wished. Abby was getting a little
crabby, so Mary asked if I minded it Abby joined us, which I didn't, of course.

We climbed onto the queen sized bed and Abby settled herself right between Bella

and me. I laid on my side, staring across the bed at my two beautiful girls.
Everything I wanted, everything that was important to me, everything that I
cherished the most in my life, was right there on that bed with me. I couldn't
imagine my life without either of them and felt like the luckiest man alive to have
them there with me.

Bella stared back at me with just the hint of a smile on her face. "You okay,

Edward? You look like you're lost in thought."

I reached across Abby and took her hand, bringing it over so that our clasped

hands lay on Abby's chest. "Right now, I'm perfect. I have everything I need right
here," I whispered back to her.

Abby reached up and put her little hands over the tops of Bella's and mine, looking

from one to the other of us. "We're happy, aren't we, Daddy?" she asked, her bright
eyes imploring me.

I kissed her on the forehead and said, "Yes, baby, we're happy."

Abby smiled and turned on her side, snuggling her back against my chest and her

- 310 -

head against Bella's chest, before she sighed. It didn't take but a minute or two for
her to be sound asleep. I chuckled softly.

"I wish I could fall asleep that fast," I said quietly. Bella smiled, and then her eyes

fell closed, too.

I watched my girls for a few minutes before sleep finally took me as well. It was a

peaceful rest, having both of them right there, and I realized that it was something
Abby didn't get to do very often. When we all got up, I made a mental note to make
sure that Abby got the benefit of a pajama party with Bella and me at least once a
week, no matter where we were. She needed to feel the closeness and to know how
very much we both loved her. It didn't take a rocket scientist to see that Bella loved
Abby. She might even have loved her almost as much as I did, for which I was
eternally thankful. It would have been… awkward… had Bella not taken to Abby
right away.

The show in Nashville was awesome and Velvet came out in full force that night,

giving me the adrenaline rush that I needed to perform. When it was over, I did my
usual thing, hanging out backstage with the guys, Bella, the Vixens, and the roadies.
Bella was hitting the Parrot Bay and pineapple juice pretty hard and I noticed that
she was pretty lit before it got to be too late. Still being in Velvet mode, it made me
horny as fuck to see her like that. She was fucking flirting with me like crazy,
batting her eyelashes at me and letting her perfect hips swish back and forth when
she walked.

At one point, she walked up to me, ran her index finger down the side of my face,

and then tousled my hair before she laid a scorching kiss on my mouth. She then
stepped back, winked, and sauntered off to get another drink. Shit she was hot. My
semi-erect state threatened to become a raging hard-on, so I decided it was time for
us to get the fuck out of there.

I said my goodbyes, grabbed my Okhotnichya bottle, took her hand, and led her

straight out to the limo. I set her inside the car with the vodka while I stopped to
sign a few autographs for the fans waiting outside. There was no way for me to
catch them all, but I tried to get as many as I could before I dove into the limo and
pinned Bella to the seat. She had a glass of vodka in her hand that she was trying to
hand to me, which I accidentally knocked to the floor in my exuberance. It didn't
matter. Bella was mine. All mine. And I was having her, as soon as possible. The
stress of the day combined with the adrenaline of the show had heightened my need
for her, if that were possible.

Bella gasped when I kneeled, hovering over her. I bent down and kissed her hard,

- 311 -

my tongue pushing into her mouth and dancing with hers. When the vodka glass was
gone from her hand, I reached down, grabbed both of her arms, and brought them
up over her head, running my hands down the backs of them and then down her
sides, brushing across the sides of her breasts on my journey to find the hem of her
blouse.

I let my lips release her mouth and then, of their own volition, they travelled down

to her neck and kissed and licked the tender flesh of her ear and throat. My hands
had found what they were looking for and I gasped and shuddered when they met
bare skin. There was no denying my involuntary responses to Bella's body. I couldn't
even think about taking my hands off her.

Her hands reached up and fisted in my hair and I felt her mouth on my jaw, her

breathing ragged and coming in short pants. Tired of holding her against the seat
and not feeling her body against mine, I turned myself so that I was sitting and
pulled her atop me. She pulled her short skirt up slightly and rubbed her pussy
down the length of my caged erection.

"HolymotherofChrist – I hope we get to the hotel soon," I rasped. She pushed her

heat against me once again and we both moaned at the sensation. Bella smirked at
me and ran her hands up under my shirt, which definitely didn't help the tightness
in my jeans. I squirmed a little, trying to get comfortable when her hand reached
down and palmed me. She nipped at my neck with her teeth and it went through my
entire body like a raging inferno.

The limo came to a stop and the driver opened the door. He cleared his throat and

I grabbed the bottle of vodka as we started putting ourselves back together and
climbing out of the car. We rushed inside, past all the people in the lobby, who were
obviously hanging out waiting for a glimpse, and headed straight for the elevator. As
soon as the elevator dumped us out on our floor, I clutched Bella's hand and went
for our room at a dead run. We were both laughing and it was a good thing the
whole floor was ours or we would have awakened all of the guests. I didn't even
think about waking Mary and Abby, who were next door to us, as I opened the room
door and we practically fell inside.

As soon as the door closed, I put the bottle of vodka on the nearest end table, and

pushed Bella up against the door, yanking her blouse over her head as I did. I took
her breasts and kneaded them roughly, placing my face between them so that I
could lavish kisses on them both.

"Mine," I growled into her chest. She had the most perfect tits. I found the clasp to

her bra and freed her, and her perfect tits, from it. Bella giggled and entwined her

- 312 -

fingers in my hair again, although one hand seemed to find my jeans so that she
could palm me again. Having my jeans on just wasn't going to do, so I released her
breasts just long enough to rip open the buttons of the button-fly. It took Bella no
time to take over and push my jeans off, along with my boxers. We were a mass of
flying limbs ripping each other's and our own clothes off as we stumbled around the
suite.

When we finally had both been relieved of our clothing, I grabbed Bella and lifted

her up, unable to wait any longer. I positioned her and slid her down onto my cock,
filling her. We both gasped and moaned aloud as Bella's legs automatically wrapped
around my waist.

We fucked as though there were no tomorrow, both screaming, growling,

groaning, and crashing our bodies together at a frantic pace. Bella's arms snaked
around my neck and she held tight as she rode me, her head lolled back and her hair
fanning out around her. It was an exquisite sight, and one that I definitely wanted to
see again. Her eyes fell closed and a guttural sound came from her open mouth. I
was thankful to feel her body tense because I was dangling from the ledge by a
thread. I cradled her back with one arm and reached up to pinch a nipple as I felt
my balls contract and my orgasm erupted within her. Bella screamed out something
incoherent and thrust against me desperately, her body spasming with the strength
of her own climax.

When we were both spent, I found the couch before my legs gave out, and we

collapsed onto it in a heap of limbs, both of us panting. Bella's lips sought mine out
and our tongues entwined, this time with less desperation than before. Our kiss was
one of satisfaction and was languorous, each of us nibbling at the other's lips,
sucking the other's tongue, whispered words of love and content falling from our
mouths.

I finally caught my breath and got my wits about me. Bella's head was on my

shoulder and she was gently kissing my neck, making shivers run through my body.
The light sheen of sweat that had formed on her skin was evaporating and she
shivered in the cool air of the hotel room, so I wrapped my arms around her and
stood back up with the intention of putting her to bed.

Obviously, Bella had other ideas. "Take us into the bathroom," she whispered, still

nibbling on my neck.

I obliged her and entered the large bathroom, flipping the light on before kicking

the door closed with my foot. I placed Bella on the floor and marveled at her. I did
that, I thought to myself, as I watched her wobble a bit and try to get her feet

- 313 -

planted firmly underneath her. Her hair was a wretched mess, but it was so fucking
sexy seeing her with that freshly fucked look. Her skin was flushed, her cheeks rosy,
her lips slightly swollen from the intense kissing. I started to get hard again just
looking at her.

She blinked at me once and then sauntered over to the shower and turned the

spray on. Six showerheads began filling the room with steam and I quickly followed
her, running my erection along her backside as she leaned into the shower to adjust
the water temperature. She giggled and pushed back against me, eliciting another
growl from my chest. I grabbed her waist and pushed her inside the shower,
reaching behind to close the shower door, lest we turn the entire bathroom into a
disaster area of water.

Once inside, she turned to me, washcloth in hand, and began soaping me up, first

with the washcloth, and then with her bare hands. I closed my eyes and hummed
with delight to the feeling of her soapy hands skimming over my body, massaging
my tired muscles, tracing the ink on my skin. She washed every part of me carefully,
only leaving my straining cock to fend for itself. She had me bend forward and she
lathered up my hair with shampoo, working over my scalp with her fingernails. It
was Heaven. When she finished with all the rest, she placed a soaped up hand on my
dick and slid it down my length, causing another shudder to run throughout my
entire body. She gently cupped my balls and soaped them up, too, smirking the
entire time. Each time I tried to reach for her, she moved my hands away, gently
telling me that she was taking care of me for a few minutes and to just shut up and
enjoy it.

"Yes, ma'am," I smirked, letting my hands fall to my sides.

By the time she was done washing me, my dick was throbbing, aching for release.

I truly wanted to wait until I got her into bed, but to my utter surprise, Bella
dropped to her knees in front of me, sliding my length into her hot mouth. I gasped
and reached out to brace myself on the walls of the shower, not wanting my knees to
give out and collapse on top of her. Just as she had so skillfully done the night
before, she brought me off within minutes, allowing me to release into her mouth. I
pulled away from her, even though her tongue was still teasing my softening cock. I
reached down to help her to her feet, brazenly kissing her and running my hands all
over her body.

I wasn't about to let her get away with such shenanigans without returning the

favor, so when I had recovered, I turned her around, and took my turn washing her,
carefully running my hands over every inch of her body while murmuring, "Mine," at
every single one of her body parts. She completely relaxed and let me wash her, and

- 314 -

I enjoyed every second of it, sliding my hands over her perfect body, running a
slippery hand between her legs, washing out her beautiful mahogany hair.

After all the soap was gone, I put Bella's strawberry scented conditioner on her

hair and worked it through. I inhaled deeply as I loved the smell of Bella, and the
conditioner was a part of that smell. When the conditioner was worked through, I
gently guided her back against the corner of the shower, propped her foot up on the
ledge that ran along the back side, and buried my face between her legs.

Bella had another earth shattering orgasm, thanks to my skilled tongue and

fingers, and when she was finished, her legs were like jelly. I let her lean against me
while I washed the conditioner out of her hair, then turned off the water and handed
her a couple of towels, grabbing one for myself.

When we fell into bed together that night, Tanya's death was the farthest thing

from my mind. The only thing that I could think of was how very perfect my life was
going to be from then on with Bella and Abby by my side. Bella snuggled into my
side and I slept better than I had for a while, holding her tight and planning for our
future.

End Note: Does that make up for the cliffhanger I gave you all for Christmas? :)

Thank you SO MUCH for all of the wonderful reviews last chapter! I was

overwhelmed with the sheer number of reviews I received. It was the most reviewed
chapter I've ever written, so thanks to all you Vixens who reviewed! Maybe we can
break the record this chapter? I've added a couple of stops on the tour which I will
put up in the next A/N. Today we're in Nashville, then it's off to Jacksonville! Let's
fuel the bus ladies!

Come play with us on Twitter! JuJuRN40

I'm changedbyedward on GChat.

- 315 -

Harmony

Disclaimer: All hail Stephenie Meyer for creating the Twilight Universe and for

letting me take her characters and bend them to my will. This story and OC's belong
to me.

A/N: All my love to Lillie Cullen. She knows why.

MUCHO thanks to Eyes of Topaz, Lead69, JustBiteMePlease, and Nan McCullen

for pre-reading and beta'ing this chapter for me in Lillie's absence. You ladies all
rock and made my shit sound all sophisticated. Hugs to each and every one of you. :)

Bella

It took about a week for the coroner's office to release Tanya's body. When her

family calmed down, took a step back, and finally accepted what actually had
happened, they were gracious enough to plan the funeral when Edward had a couple
of days off from the tour so that we could all attend. They weren't really pleased that
I was going, but Edward planned on being there, and where Edward was, I was.

Edward struggled with whether or not to let Abby view her mother's body. Kate,

Irina, and Carmen were insistent that she be allowed to view it, but in the end, Mary
and I won out. We thought it would be far too traumatic for her young mind to
comprehend seeing her mother that way and Edward agreed.

We flew into Chicago the day of the wake. We had decided we would take Abby to

that rather than the funeral. At least she wouldn't have to sit on a hard bench and be
still and quiet for an hour for something she wouldn't necessarily understand.

Jacksonville, Tampa, and Orlando had been great. We were between Orlando and

Miami when we broke for Tanya's service. I was completely overwhelmed by the
fans' acceptance of Edward's and my marriage, and it made things so much easier
for Edward that the fans were supportive rather than pissed off about it. The media
had been somewhat of a circus with the wedding, the custody battle, and Tanya's
murder all happening within a couple of days, but that was to be expected. Rhianne
worked hard with the publicists to get statements out there that encouraged the
proliferation of the truth rather than rumors. If anything, it kept Edward on the front
page and at the forefront of the news broadcasts for a few days.

- 316 -

Edward was stressed and it was showing. Frankly, his attitude for the previous

week had sucked. I, along with Rhianne, had done everything we could to make
things easy on him, but he was letting things eat at him and we both knew it. He
wasn't sleeping well and I had abandoned my sleeping pills in an attempt to stay up
and comfort him at night. He was somewhat distant and abrasive and I was having
trouble understanding this side of him, as it was something I hadn't seen before.
Rhianne tried to assure me that it wouldn't last long, but I could tell by the look in
her eyes that she wasn't sure either.

Having Emmett with us was great, though. He was always hysterical and when he

was around, he seemed to be able to keep Edward upbeat, for which I was grateful.
The morning we were to fly out for Tanya's wake, Emmett had come to our tour bus
and started beating on the bedroom door at some ungodly hour. Edward yelled at
him to go away, but Emmett was not easily deterred. He just threw the door open
and barged right inside. We were both naked of course, and I gasped and pulled the
sheet up around my neck when the door opened.

Emmett grinned and reached down with his huge hand, ripping the sheet off

Edward completely.

"Dude! What the fuck?!" Edward yelled.

"Well, aren't we just a fucking ray of sunshine this morning?" was Emmett's reply.

"You've got a personal appearance before we all fly out to Chicago, so get movin',
dude!" Emmett stood over Edward with his arms crossed, waiting for him to get out
of bed. I giggled in spite of how pissed Edward sounded as he grumbled something
under his breath about 'fucking morning people,' crawled out of the bed and
traipsed into the bathroom.

Once we were all on Edward's private jet, he seemed to calm some, although he

was still strung pretty tightly. Finally having had enough of his shitty attitude paired
with the fact that he wasn't talking to me about whatever was bothering him, I
pulled him into the bedroom in the back of the jet and sat him down on the bed. I
stood in front of him, just out of his reach, my arms crossed.

"Okay, Edward," I said," Enough is enough. Either talk to me or stop with the

incessant moping."

He looked stunned for the briefest moment before realization flashed in his eyes.

His demeanor softened immediately, and I could see that he wasn't even aware of
how shitty he had been.

- 317 -

"Bella… I'm sorry, I didn't realize…"

"I know you didn't realize, Edward, which is why I'm in here with you now. You've

got to remember that I'm your partner here. I'm not just one of the Vixens who's
hanging around hoping you'll sleep with me. I'm your wife. If I can't help you
through your shit, who's going to?" His shoulders slumped a bit and I felt bad for
jumping his ass like that, but damn it all, we had just gotten married and I wasn't
about to let him get by with his recent behavior.

"It won't happen anymore, Bella. I promise." His eyes were pleading with me to

not question him further, but my gut instinct told me that I had to make him talk out
whatever it was that seemed to be weighing so heavily on him.

"Good. I'm glad it's not going to happen anymore. Now, will you please tell me

exactly what it is?" I had decided not to cut him any slack or I would just be
rewarding bad behavior, and that's never a good idea, right?

"It's a lot of things, Bella. You know, I'm not used to having someone that I can

talk to about things who won't judge me. This," he said, gesturing between him and
me, "is new to me. I'm sorry that I'm not perfect all the time."

I sighed and relaxed my stance. I walked over to the bed and sat next to him,

putting my hand on his back, finding that he was breathing fairly hard and fast. I
realized he was scared, but scared of what? What on God's green earth could EC
Velvet, one of the biggest stars in the world, be afraid of?

I continued to move my hand soothingly over Edward's back, pressing gently

against the knots I found there and feeling the heat radiating from them. It was a
sign of the intensity of his stress.

I let my voice drop to the softer tone that I normally used with him. "You don't

have to be perfect all the time, Edward. Nobody expects you to be, least of all me. I
just expect you to remember that I'm your partner in all things, for better or worse.
Remember? I didn't stand in front of the judge and say those words to you and not
mean them, and I sure as hell hope that you meant them when you said them."

"Of course I did!" he shot back at me. I took a deep breath and continued.

"Well, then whatever this is that's bothering you has to go. You have to get it off

your chest. What better way than talking to your wife… your partner… your
soulmate about it?" I didn't want Edward to feel like he was being attacked, but at
the same time I wanted him to grasp the concept that I was there, and I was real,

- 318 -

and I loved him no matter what he had on his mind.

There was a knock at the door and Abby's giggle could be heard on the other side,

followed shortly by Mary's scolding of her to leave Mommy and Daddy alone for a
little bit. I wasn't having that. Mary wouldn't be there forever to be a buffer between
us and Abby. We needed to step up and be her parents, now more than ever before.
I walked over and opened the door.

Abby ran to me as soon as the door opened and threw her arms around me. "I

wanna come in there with you," she pouted.

I kneeled in front of her and took her in my arms, making sure that when I spoke

to her, I was at her eye level. "Abigail, Daddy and Mommy are talking right now.
Can you give us just a few minutes to talk and then you can come in and lay down
with us?"

She studied me, putting her tiny hand on my face as she often did. It was so

endearing when you could see the cogs in her mind turning, trying to understand
things.

"Can I watch SpongeBob when I get to come in?" she asked hopefully.

I chuckled and hugged her. "Yes, love. You can watch SpongeBob. We'll make sure

to turn it up loud and sing the theme song just to irritate Daddy, okay?"

"Okay!" she cried, and skipped back to her seat next to Mary. I winked at Mary

and she nodded at me, smiling. Mary was one of my closest allies in my fight to
become a true mother to Abby, because God knew Abby needed one.

I went back to Edward who was watching me with wonder in his eyes. "Where did

you learn to do that?" he asked softly.

I was a little confused by his choice of words, so I questioned him, only to find out

that he wanted to know where I had learned to be a mother. It was a good question,
actually.

I certainly hadn't gained any perspective on how to be a mother from my own

mother. If there was an award for shittiest mother ever, my mom would have run a
close second to Tanya, only being beat out by the drug abuse. No, Renee hadn't
been a drug user, but when it came to being nurturing and responsible, her rating
plummeted. The only person Renee ever had on her mind consistently was herself.

- 319 -

I answered him honestly, at least as honestly as I could. "Truthfully Edward, I

don't know. Something inside me kicked into gear the first time I met Abby and it's
been like that for me ever since." I shrugged my shoulders while taking my place
next to my husband. It seemed like he was more apt to talk to me while I was sitting
with him, so I was planning on sticking with what was working.

We sat in silence for a few minutes while I rubbed his back and kissed him gently

on the cheek and neck. Finally, I said, "I'm here for you, Edward. I love you. I won't
judge you. Please, please, just let me in?"

When he turned to face me, I was shocked by the sadness that shadowed his

usually bright green eyes. It tore me apart to see him so sad and so full of confusion.
He grasped my hand in his and I waited, watching him let his barriers down one by
one. It took him some time, but he finally relaxed and accepted what I wanted of
him, and it was then that he began to speak.

"Bella, I can't help but feel somehow responsible for Tanya's death. Maybe I

pushed her too hard. Maybe I should have done something differently. I don't know."
He moved his head from side to side, just slightly, and I could see that he was deep
in thought. I waited silently, realizing that I had already known at least a part of
what was troubling him. Edward felt guilty about Tanya, and that was something
that only time would heal.

"All I know is that Abby's mother is dead, and no matter how wonderful a mother

you are to her, the fact still remains that someday I'm going to have to deal with
Abby regarding the loss of her mother. And… it's not just that… it's that it was a
tragic death… a murder. How do I…?" He hesitated again, obviously thinking about
what to say next.

I remained quietly supportive, holding his hand tightly in mine. I knew exactly

what he was getting at. He had lost his parents, too, and was having a hard time
reconciling the fact that Abby was going to have to overcome many of the same
issues he had to deal with as a child.

He inhaled deeply before continuing. "It's just a little overwhelming, I guess." He

paused and I nodded to show him I understood what he was saying. I would have
thought him devoid of human emotion if he didn't find everything that had been
happening to him overwhelming. I was overwhelmed myself and the only way I made
it through that feeling was to hold tight to Edward and keep pushing forward.

"I can't help but feel that some of my choices were selfish and wrong, and not just

recent ones, but ones I made years ago." Obviously, he was choosing his words

- 320 -

carefully and deliberately. I maintained my silence, not wanting to interrupt his
thought process. I stroked his hand and waited for him to continue.

"Tanya was never able to deal with things when it came to the press and all the

attention. The touring, concerts, women back stage, studio time… it was always a
contest for her to vie for my attention…" he trailed off briefly, and then resumed, his
shoulders dropping slightly, "And I wasn't always the best about giving her the
attention she probably deserved, either. I was busy building my career, building EC
Velvet, putting him at the forefront of everything."

I leaned in and gave Edward an encouraging kiss, just to let him know that I was

still there and willing to listen. Now that he had finally opened up to me, I wanted
him to let it all out. I was ready for him to stop internalizing. He had to learn to trust
me. He had been pissy and distant and not at all himself. I wanted Edward back. I
knew he felt guilt over what Tanya had become, but I hoped that somewhere
amongst all that guilt, he realized that Tanya had chosen her own path. I knew it
wouldn't make what he felt were his own transgressions against her any easier for
him to swallow, but surely he understood that.

"Now that I see what it did to her, and have had time to think about it all and my

part in it…" His voice broke and I squeezed his hands. He turned his face to me and
I could see that his eyes were filled with tears. My gut twisted in pain seeing him
like that.

"I'm terrified that I'm going to do the same thing to you and drive you away, just

like I did her, and… I'd never be able to live with myself if I did that to you, Bella."
He shifted a bit and took another deep breath before continuing, probably to keep
the tears from spilling over. It was too late for me. Tears were already tracing a path
down my cheeks and dropping on my blouse, staining it. As much as I had thought I
already knew what Edward was dealing with, I realized now that I hadn't even
begun to know the extent of what he was feeling.

"I loved Tanya, but I never, ever felt for her the way I feel for you. It's like…

without you, I don't exist. There's no Edward, no EC Velvet, no Abby's Daddy,
nothing without you." Edward's voice broke again, and I reached up to wipe away
the lone tear that rolled down his cheek. By now, his hands were trembling and I
held tightly to them, hoping to offer him some comfort. At least this feeling was
something that I could completely identify with. I felt non-existent without Edward,
too.

"I'm scared that I've pulled you into this before you were ready and that when shit

gets hard, you're going to have to turn to something for the attention you need,

- 321 -

whether it be drugs, or alcohol, or other men…"

Edward's voice trailed off and he looked down at our clasped hands. He fiddled

with my wedding rings for a minute and then just stopped. I reached up and placed
my hand under his chin, bringing his face up to look at me once again. The pain
written across it was evident and it ripped my heart out to see him hurting so badly.
My thoughts were spinning chaotically out of control, trying to come up with the
right words to say to make him understand that everything I was to him, he was to
me, and then some. I gazed into his eyes for a long moment before I spoke. I finally
understood that what he was afraid of was losing me.

"Edward, I want you to listen to me carefully, okay?" He nodded and cocked his

head to the side ever so slightly, watching my face. I reached up and put my palm
against his cheek, just like Abby would. I steeled myself against my emotional
response to all that he had said and began trying to say the words, something, that
would hopefully help him begin to heal.

"I love you. There is absolutely nothing in this world that could tear me away from

you, except you. You're stuck with me for as long as you'll have me. The only way I'm
leaving is if you send me away, and I don't think that's going to happen, right?"
Edward nodded and pressed his cheek against my hand. I realized that my hands
were the ones trembling now and I fought to gain control over my emotions. The last
thing Edward needed was me freaking out and blubbering all over the place… like a
girl. I took a deep breath and pushed on.

"You need to put your faith and trust in me. I'm not Tanya. If I have a problem

with how much attention I think I'm not getting, or how you're acting, you can just
think back to today and remember that when enough is enough, I'm going to call you
on it, and we're going to talk about it, because we're partners in this crazy life you
lead. You are not in this alone anymore." Edward's eyes were shining and I noticed
that he was leaning even closer to me. I cleared my throat in an attempt to suppress
the sobs that were struggling to escape. I was determined that I would not make
Edward suffer through my tears during his moment of need.

"You don't have to worry about Abby, or about Edward and who he is, or Velvet

and who he is. You don't have to worry about anything else by yourself anymore,
because you have me here to help you worry about all those things." I chose my
words carefully, trying to make sure that I wasn't too harsh, but that I made my
point clear. I wasn't letting him take on the entire world alone any longer. It was
high time that Edward had someone who cared enough about him to take the world
on with him. I pulled myself together for one last, brief statement, hoping that he
would take everything I had said to heart.

- 322 -

"I want you to know that there's nothing in the world that's bigger than the two of

us together, Edward. I love you, so much." I fell silent and realized that my insides
were trembling almost as much as the rest of me was. I stroked his face and
squeezed his hand and he closed his eyes for just the briefest moment before his
arms reached for me.

Edward wrapped his arms tightly around me and held me as if there would be no

tomorrow and had never been a yesterday. "Bella, I love you…so very much," he said
in a strangled voice. "I don't know what I did to deserve you, but I'm not ever letting
you go, and I'll try to be better, but promise me you'll keep to your word and call me
on it if I screw up."

I smiled into Edward's strong chest, squeezed him tight and said, "I'll do you one

better. I'll promise to call you on it if you ever screw up, if you'll promise to call me
on it when I screw up, because that's what partners do." For the first time in the last
half hour, I felt as though we were back to functioning as one heart, one soul, one
being standing at the front of the stage, looking out at our future together.

After we had both calmed down, and engaged in a few very needy kisses, we let

Abby in and I put SpongeBob on for her. She and I sang, loudly and off-key, on
purpose, just to see Edward crack a smile. "Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?"
Once he started grinning, there was no stopping him.

We turned SpongeBob off and sang silly songs to Abby, teaching her songs like

"John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt," and "Do Your Ears Hang Low?" Edward and I
even did a rapper's rendition of "There's A Hole in my Bucket" for her. Abby clapped
and laughed as though she didn't have a care in the world.

We arrived back in Chicago and when the limo picked us up, Jasper, Alice, and

Rosalie piled out of the back. I was so happy to have our friends there, and Rose and
Emmett were pretty pleased to see each other as well. I wasn't sure that they
weren't going to strip and fuck right there in the back of the car with the rest of us
watching. I finally had to point out Abby's presence and asked that they keep things
"G-rated" for the rest of the trip to the house, to which Emmett replied, "But… she's
got parents here, so can't we at least do PG?" The entire car erupted into laughter.

That night, some pretty big surprises were revealed. Rosalie announced that she

was buying a dealership in the Chicago area and that she was house hunting.

Apparently, she was letting her second in command at the Seattle dealership take

over managing it and was buying a struggling dealership in the Chicago area in
hopes of turning it around. I was floored, but that wasn't all.

- 323 -

Alice was bouncing up and down the whole time Rosalie told us her news until

Rosalie finally rolled her eyes and said, "Okay, ADHD child, tell them your news
now!"

Alice was obviously too excited to remain seated, so she jumped up and started

walking around, talking animatedly with her arms flailing about. It was really
hysterical and Edward jabbed me in the ribs with his elbow for laughing at her, but
when I looked over at him, he was obviously amused as well.

Alice's big news was that she and Jasper had also put their house on the market

and were moving to Chicago.

Jasper could easily move his law practice anywhere, as his clientele were not just

people off the street, and of course Alice's wedding and party planning could be
done from anywhere, as well. They both travelled a lot when they were working on a
big project anyway, so it was easy for them to move. I was so excited that I almost
erupted into Alice's 'pixie on speed' behavior.

There was a lot of congratulating of each other and shaking hands and hugging

that followed that conversation. It was awesome. We were like a big family, brothers
and sisters, declaring to stay together. I was so happy it almost brought me to tears.
Edward vowed to all of them that he would assist them in any way he could to make
their moves as easy as possible. He also offered Emmett a full time gig as one of our
personal bodyguards, which Emmett readily accepted.

Once the excitement had died down, Edward announced that he had a surprise for

me as well, and disappeared upstairs. I couldn't imagine what the surprise could be
because he barely had time to eat and sleep, let alone plan surprises. Alice and
Rosalie speculated as to what it might be, but nobody had a clue.

When Edward reappeared, he had a box in his hand that I recognized

immediately. It was from his jeweler. I gulped, wondering what could be inside. It
was a pretty big box. He walked over and kissed me on the forehead before handing
it to me and said, "This is just a little something for you, baby. I love you."

Emmett was the first to interrupt our quiet moment by yelling, "Well? Are you

gonna open the fuckin' thing or sit there and look at it, Bells?"

I rolled my eyes at him while Rosalie smacked him on the arm, telling him to shut

the fuck up. I giggled and flipped the box open… and gasped. Lying inside the box
was the biggest sapphire I had ever seen. It was pear shaped and surrounded by
diamonds on a platinum chain. It was obviously meant to go with my bracelet and

- 324 -

ring, but the stones were so big, I was terrified to even touch it.

"Oh my God, Edward," I whispered. "This is just… too much." I touched the cold

sapphire lightly with my fingertips and marveled at how it and the diamonds
sparkled in the light. I just couldn't get over how big the stones were, or how
beautiful the necklace was. And I wondered how Edward had managed to find the
time to get it for me without my knowledge. We spent so much time together, that it
amazed me that he would have taken a moment to make the necessary phone calls
to have this piece made.

Edward grinned and snatched the necklace out of the box. Rosalie and Alice both

gasped when he put it around my neck and fastened it. It felt heavy lying against my
chest and I stood, smiling at Edward, and walked over to the mirror near the front
door to look at it. Edward moved in behind me and whispered in my ear, "I'd like to
say that I got it for you just because I love you so much, but in reality, I'd like you to
wear it when we go to the MTV Video Music Awards in September."

I couldn't think. Hell, I couldn't breathe. I felt like I was going to pass out. Being

around Edward and the guys was one thing. They all felt like family to me, but I had
never considered that I would be attending things like the MTV Awards, or the
Grammy Awards. Everything had happened so fast that I hadn't even had time to
consider everything that Edward's life entailed. I silently thanked God that Alice and
Rosalie were going to be around to help me prepare and dress for events such as
those.

I stared at the woman in the mirror, who was so far removed from the woman who

had left Seattle just a few short weeks before. I turned to Edward and put my arms
around him. He was spoiling me with such lavish gifts, but I knew that it was just his
way of showing me that I was always on his mind. He and I both knew that I didn't
need the gifts to know that he loved me, but he enjoyed giving them. In that
moment, it felt as though the puzzle pieces of our life were finally starting to fall in
place and that we understood and accepted each other for who we were. My
contentment soared as I stood inside the embrace of Edward's arms.

End Note: *waves* Ohai new readers! Thanks for climbing on board the Vixens

tour bus by leaving your lovely reviews! Jacksonville, Tampa, and Orlando were
A.W.E.S.O.M.E! Next we're rockin' Miami, Atlanta, and Charlotte! Where're my
southern Vixens?

MANY thanks to squallogal for pimping the shit out of me on Twitter and sending

- 325 -

all her Aussie friends over to read this story! Can't wait until the Vixen's tour bus
picks up the tour in Aus!

I've added the following cities to the tour per request of some of you Vixens out

there: Albany, NY; Indianapolis, IN; Leeds, England; Edinburgh, Scotland; Cologne,
Germany; Melbourne, Australia; Queenstown, New Zealand; and Hong Kong.
Anyone else?

I've changed my user name on Twitter to changedbyEdward. If you were following

me as JuJuRN40, you still are, but if you haven't followed me yet, and want to, please
look for me at changedbyEdward on twitter (DOT) com.

Please review to put fuel in the bus and get us our personalized Vixens jet airplane

so we can follow Velvet on tour! Many thanks to LolaRose who provides us with all
the fuckhot entertainment aboard the bus so we don't get bored. :)

- 326 -

Adjustments

A/N: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. I own EC Velvet and all that "owning" him

implies. *wink*

Lillie... Thanks, darlin'. You always know how to make everything better. Love ya.

Edward

If I live a thousand years, I'll never know what I did right in my life to deserve the

love of Isabella Marie Cullen. She is the half that makes me whole. She has been
since the first letter I got from her, the first time I heard her voice, the first time I
heard her laugh… the first time I laid eyes on her.

I held her hand and carried Abby in my other arm as we walked in to the hall

where Tanya's wake was to be held. She squeezed my hand tightly and I knew that it
was meant to remind me that she was there with me, and for me.

Abby pretty much clung to either Bella or me throughout the whole event. I tried

to get her to go to her grandparents, but she would never get very far away from us.
She kept coming back to where we were to make sure we were still there, I guess.
Abby had been damaged by Tanya's bullshit, and it pissed me off that she didn't feel
safe being with Tanya's parents or sisters. A four year old shouldn't have to worry
about her own safety with her grandparents and aunts.

Surprisingly, the evening went well. There were no angry confrontations and no

animosity towards me or Bella. I was pleasantly surprised by that. I had feared there
would be an ugly scene, but had hoped for the best. It seemed Tanya's family could
have some manners when it was absolutely necessary.

When we left to drive home, some paparazzi were lurking around and I caught one

dude getting a little too close for comfort to get a picture of Abby, Bella, and me. I
didn't even have to glance at Emmett. He was in his face before I could say a word.
The guy was dressed in baggy sweats and a hoodie with the hood up, trying to look
all inconspicuous and shit. Not that it worked. Emmett stood in front of him with his
arms crossed, towering over the asshole, glaring at him.

"This is a private family thing, guy. Get the fuck out of here and put the fucking

camera away," Emmett growled.

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The dude looked pretty sheepish as he slunk away, but I knew he had gotten some

pictures. It didn't matter too much about the pictures; I just didn't like them getting
so close to Abigail. She had to deal with enough shit without those fucksticks being
all up in her shit when she was only four.

Everyone always says that after funerals everybody goes home and fucks. After

Tanya's wake, I could see why. I was a horny motherfucker on our way back to the
house. I drove my Escalade as though I was trying to win the Indy 500 just trying to
get home. Bella only gave me two dirty looks and that was when I was slipstreaming
through traffic trying to get ahead. Emmett asked once if he could drive. I glanced
in my rear view mirror to see if Abby was asleep and seeing that she was, told
Emmett to fuck off.

We arrived back at the house, got Abby settled in, and retired to our bedroom,

where I could hardly wait to get my hands on Bella. I assaulted her as soon as the
door closed, peppering kisses all over her neck and shoulders as I unzipped her
dress and let it cascade to the floor in a pool of black fabric.

Bella leaned into me and hummed her appreciation of my attention while I

unfastened her bra and pushed the straps down her arms, taking care to kiss, lick,
and taste every inch of bared skin. I inhaled the beautiful scent of Bella and nuzzled
my nose into her hairline just behind her ear. Her long tresses of mahogany hair
were piled on the back of her head in a loose French twist with tendrils hanging in
all the right places, making her neck look long and luscious. I ran my tongue from
the base of her ear, along her neck to the hollow below, then back up, while Bella
shuddered in my arms.

I stepped in close behind her and pulled her body flush with mine, letting her feel

my arousal pressed into her lower back. My suit pants and boxers gave me a
freedom that the jeans I usually wore didn't, so I teased her by rubbing my cock
against her backside. She pushed her ass into me and moaned in a throaty voice as
she threw her head back against my shoulder.

Jiminy fuckin' Cricket, she was hot. I slid my hands around her waist and splayed

them across her ribs as I made my way up to cup her luscious tits. Bella turned in
my arms and kissed me with her mouth open, nibbling on my lips and running her
tongue across them.

As I leaned over to kiss her, I pushed her boy shorts over her thighs and she

wiggled her hips to get them down and kick them off. Bella smiled into my mouth as
she began to return the favor by undressing me, albeit more quickly than I
undressed her. By the time she had slid my suit pants and boxers down, my hand

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had found its way to the damp apex of her legs, and my fingers were busily
exploring her soft folds. My right hand slid down behind her knee and hitched her
leg up around my waist. I slid my other arm around her and picked her up off the
floor before walking us over to the bed.

My heart told me to make love to my Bella, but my body wanted something

different. I landed on her frantically, trying to kiss her and touch her and love her…
and fuck her… all at the same time. Fortunately, Bella sensed my need and didn't try
to slow me down. She met every one of my body's demands and threw out some of
her own.

I entered her in one hard thrust that put me right square into heaven. Her wet

warmth surrounded me and I groaned my appreciation. I looked down into her sultry
face and she smiled at me before saying, "Harder, Edward. I need you."

A shudder tore through me and I lifted her legs, resting her ankles on my

shoulders as I slammed into her over and over, losing myself in her wetness, her
warmth, her body, and her beauty. She threw her arms over her head and a low
moan issued forth from her chest. It was nearly my undoing.

My eyes locked on hers as I continued to pound her with long, fast, hard strokes.

Her hips were rising and falling, meeting my thrusts, and although her head was
rolling back and forth on the pillow, her eyes stayed on mine.

"Fuck, Edward… I'm almost there…" she panted.

Another shudder ripped through my body as I shifted my arms so that I could

reach between us and rub my thumb across her clit. Her entire body jerked and her
fists clenched the pillow. I felt her legs pushing against me and her body pulsed
around me, eliciting the beginning of my own climax.

We came together, staring into each other's eyes, both of us crying out the other's

name. It was the most erotic moment I've ever had. As my orgasm came to an end, I
closed my eyes and concentrated on feeling Bella. I released her legs and pulled her
into my arms, pressing our bodies together, feeling our sweat mingle, inhaling her
scent.

Whispered 'I love you's' permeated the air around us and I felt so connected to her

that it felt as though we were one body, one soul, two hearts beating as one.

As the rush of adrenaline faded away, we slowly found our way under the covers,

wrapping ourselves around each other and drifting off into a restful sleep. It was, in

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fact, the most restful sleep I had in a while. I wish I could have said the same for
Bella, who rested for several hours, but then began to have nightmares and was
restless and mumbling.

I tried to wake her a couple of times, but as soon as I started to talk to her, she

would sigh and say, "Oh, Edward…" and relax. I spent our last hour in bed just
watching her sleep and pushing her hair off her face so that I could see it in all of its
angelic glory.

That morning, we got up and went to Tanya's funeral. It was a bit of a media

clusterfuck just because of all of the hype surrounding her death and because I was
there. Bella stayed glued to my side as I gave my condolences to Tanya's family
before we left. I didn't want to go to the graveside service and invite the media and
paparazzi to follow, so we climbed into the Ferrari and headed home as soon as the
service was over and I had spoken to every member of Tanya's family.

By the time we arrived back at the house, it was time to get crackin' and get on

our way to the airport so we could fly back to Miami. Bella was making all sorts of
arrangements with Alice to have her belongings moved to the house from Seattle. I
made sure that Alice, Jasper, and Rosalie understood that they could stay at my
house and use it as their base of operations while they were house hunting, and
even went so far as to call my real estate agent to get them hooked up. There were a
couple of places in the neighborhood that were nearby that they had appointments
to go look at before we left. For a while, I considered just building another couple of
wings onto my house for them, but knew that they were all independent people and
would want houses of their own, no matter how much time we all would spend
together.

It wasn't like it would be unusual to have my friends close to me. Four of the five

guys in my crew lived within a couple of miles of me. It made things easier when we
were working together to be close.

I started writing another new song on our way to Miami and found that my songs

were becoming increasingly sappy and full of love and happiness rather than
heartache and misery. I wasn't exactly sure if that was a good thing or not. While it
was great that I was in that place mentally, I wasn't sure that my record sales would
reflect my fans being particularly appreciative of my complete 180 in songwriting.
That was when I found myself writing a song about the death of EC Velvet. I was so
absorbed in it, that I barely registered when the plane landed.

Abby was pulling at my shirt and asking if we could go to the beach as soon as the

door to the plane opened. I looked at the time and worried that it wasn't going to be

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possible, but Rhianne came to the rescue and made all the arrangements for us to
take Abby to the beach on the way to the venue for the concert. Fortunately, Abby
had a bathing suit in her suitcase, thanks to Mary, and Bella changed her into it in
the car.

I put on a cap, hoping that my presence wouldn't be too obvious on Miami Beach.

Bella pulled her hair into a ponytail at the nape of her neck and put a baseball cap
on as well. She looked so fucking cute.

Fortunately, only a couple of people approached us and we were able to have a

fairly quiet time with Abby, letting her play in the grayish-white sand and turquoise
water. She had fun picking up shells on the beach and digging holes in the sand.

We spent about an hour there before we had to leave to get ready for the show.

Abby didn't want to go, but she did without throwing a fit thanks to Bella's abilities
to make her feel better about everything.

I was glad to get back together with the guys and pleased that Bella seemed to be

so much more relaxed around the venues and with my crew. She had pretty well
taken over Rhianne's job of getting me to the stage on time, and was always quick
with a kiss before I went on. It was comforting to me to be able to glance off to the
side of the stage and see her there, always waiting for me with a smile.

We fell into somewhat of a routine going from city to city. The days seemed to blur

together, one after the other. Nights changed to days without my ever noticing.
Bella, Abby and I were together constantly when I wasn't rehearsing or on stage.
They attended public appearances with me, they went to interviews with me, they
went where I went.

We left Miami for Atlanta, GA; then Charlotte, NC; Raleigh/Durham, NC;

Washington DC; Baltimore, Maryland; Albany, NY; Boston, MA; Indianapolis, IN;
Cleveland, OH… and then it was time to head for Canada.

The days were quickly melding into weeks and Bella submitted her resignation to

the University of Washington. Alice and Jasper bought an estate right behind ours
and moved, bringing all of Bella's belongings from Washington with them and
having them moved into our house. Rosalie, too, bought an estate nearby and
completed her move, starting work at her new dealership. Emmett continued to
travel with us as our personal bodyguard and had become one of Abby's favorite
playmates.

I noticed that over the days and weeks that my Bella was having to take her

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sleeping pills far more frequently to sleep at night, but I didn't put too much thought
or concern into it until we were about to leave for Canada and she flipped out
because she was out of them.

It wasn't a big deal; I just called Carlisle and he took care of it, but I was

concerned that she was so freaked out about it. I tried to have a conversation with
her about the dangers of becoming addicted to those kinds of things when a person
was on tour, but she rejected my concerns, stating that once we were on a regular
schedule again, she wouldn't have so much difficulty sleeping at the right times.

I've reflected on that conversation quite a bit over the years, and found that I was

nothing more than a big pussy who was pussy whipped. I should have pushed
harder. I should have intervened right then, no matter what the cost, but I didn't,
and it caused some trouble in the long run. Not trouble like 'Tanya' trouble, but
trouble nonetheless.

The problem with Bella's rationale was that I never lived on a regular schedule.

She just didn't realize that yet. Being on tour was one thing, but when I was at
home, I was always running around to appearances or working in the studio, and
working in the studio was something that you had to see to believe. What's more, I
was anxious to get back into the studio when we got home. My new studio would be
finished and I had been writing like crazy.

I went ahead and trusted her to know what she was doing and we took off for

Canada. Montreal was our first stop, followed by Toronto, Quebec City, Calgary, and
Vancouver.

After that, we had a two week long break before our tour took up its overseas

portion and we headed for Ireland. We were all exhausted and headed home for
Chicago to rest up while waiting for the stage equipment to be transported overseas.

The good thing about the international portion was that it took a little bit longer to

move everything from city to city. The bad thing was that the tour itself took longer.

Once we were back in Chicago, Bella and I spent the first three days in bed. We

would wake up long enough to make love, or take a shower, or eat a meal, and then
we would be back in bed fast asleep. Abby bounced back much quicker than we did
and she spent some time with my parents while we were trying to catch up.

The other thing we had to do while we were in Chicago was to prepare to go to

the VMAs in New York City over the weekend before we flew out to Ireland. I had
decided to forego the traditional tuxedo for such events. After all, I was a rap star,

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and we were expected to be controversial. On the other hand, I wanted Bella to look
her best. It was going to be an exciting time for her and she was going to be rubbing
elbows with some of the biggest music stars in the world, besides me. I knew she
was nervous about it, but I had put Alice and Rosalie on the case weeks beforehand,
making sure that she had appropriate help getting the perfect outfit. They hadn't
disappointed and on Wednesday morning, Bella had a fitting scheduled with Alice
and Rosalie in tow. I left them to it while I took care of some business of my own.

Rhianne met with me and told me that she thought it was time for Bella to have

her own assistant. She was having trouble keeping up with both of us and she was
starting to get requests for Bella to make her own personal appearances. We had all
known that was coming, but I wasn't ready for it already.

"Can't we just tell them no?" I asked Rhianne, trying to find a way of getting out of

sharing my wife.

"You and I both know that wouldn't be good for business, Edward." Rhianne was

always the voice of reason and knew exactly what was good for me. I didn't know
what I would ever do if she left us. I'd be lost without her.

I sat in the chair behind my desk and leaned back, placing my fingers on the

bridge of my nose. "Is she ready for this?"

"You would know that better than I would," Rhianne answered softly.

I looked up at her and realized that she was trying to get me to admit that Bella

was stronger and more prepared than I wanted to give her credit for. I wanted to
keep Bella weak and naïve so that I could protect her from everything all the time,
but I knew damn well that wasn't the case. This was something that I needed to let
happen. I needed to give her the credit for being the strong woman that I had
married and let her do what was required of the wife of a superstar. It was one thing
that Tanya had never been interested in and I was intrigued by the idea of watching
Bella being interviewed on television without me overshadowing her. Hell, Bella
would be a superstar in her own right, simply by being my wife. Why shouldn't I let
her do what she needed to do?

I finally agreed that Rhianne should start the search for a suitable assistant for

Bella. Rhianne stared at me for a minute and said, "I assumed you would know that
there is already someone I have in mind who would be perfect."

I racked my brain trying to imagine who she meant, and then it dawned on me.

Alice. Of course. Alice would be a perfect assistant for Bella. Hell, she already was,

- 333 -

to a certain extent. "Will Alice be able to continue her job as a wedding planner?"

"I think we should leave that up to Alice," Rhianne answered while pecking away

at the keyboard of her laptop.

Bella returned from her fitting and she was positively glowing. She walked into

the office just as Rhianne and I were about to embark on our monthly business
meeting. She stopped when she saw the stack of papers on my desk.

"Oops! I'm sorry, I can come back later," she stammered. She turned and started

to walk out and was almost there before I could stop her. I turned her around and
kissed her.

"You're radiant. Did you have a good time?" Bella blushed furiously and I knew

from the extent of the blush that it surely had covered her body and not just her
cheeks. I threaded a hand into her hair, pulling her to me so I could kiss her again.

"I had a great time, Edward, but I can see that you're busy so I'll talk to you when

you get done. I don't want to interrupt." Silly Bella.

"You're not interrupting, baby. Actually, come on in and sit down. We're just about

to have our business meeting and this one is actually kind of important to me and I'd
like you to be here."

Bella smiled and took the chair next to Rhianne. We talked to her briefly about our

plan to ask Alice to be her personal assistant. I think she may have actually
squealed. We discussed that briefly and then moved on into the business meeting.

I noticed that Bella was incredibly uncomfortable during our discussion of assets

and liabilities. I finally asked her if she thought it wasn't her business or what and
she told me that no, she didn't think it was her business.

"Bella, Jesus Christ! You're my wife! What's mine is yours. It absolutely is your

business!" She squirmed in her seat and tried to 'look' more comfortable, but I knew
better.

"I'm sorry, baby, I know you're uncomfortable, but truthfully, you need to know

this stuff. If something were to happen to me…"

"EDWARD!" she roared, effectively cutting me off. The look of panic on her face

was undeniable. "NEVER say anything like that EVER! PLEASE!"

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I rounded my desk and leaned over to hug her and pull her out of the chair. I lifted

her easily and went back to my chair, placing her on my lap. I brushed her hair back
behind her ear and kissed her. "I'm sorry, babe. It's just that… this thing with Tanya
has me thinking that I need to make some new arrangements just in case something
ever did happen. You're my wife now, and I need to make sure you are taken care of
if, God forbid, something did happen. Not saying it's going to, because I'm too
fucking tough to let anything, but you never know." Bella put her arms around me
and laid her head against my shoulder, taking deep breaths. I knew she was trying
not to cry. I patted her and squeezed her tight. "Come on, we don't have to think
about it today, okay?"

She smiled and let out a breath that she had been holding since I had started

speaking again. "Okay, Edward. I love you."

"Love you, too, baby. Okay, Rhianne, what's next?"

Rhianne pointed at the stack of papers she had placed in front of me. "Those are

the papers you'll need to sign to be released from your contract with the label at the
end of your tour. In addition, the papers you need to start your own label and form a
corporation for that label are there, as well as the contracts for the new studio,
production contracts for you and the group, and some personnel contracts that will
need to be revised when all of this takes place."

Fucking Rhianne. What would I have ever done without her? She was absolutely

the best at what she did and had it not been for her, I would have been completely
lost. I started signing the papers, and there were a shit-load of papers to sign. Bella
tried to get off my lap, but I just pulled her close and kept signing page after fucking
page. I got really sick and fucking tired of signing my name next to all the little tape
tabs that said, "Sign Here," and then pulling the little fuckers off.

When I got writer's cramp and Rhianne told me I was done, all I could say was,

"Thank God. What a bunch of shit! Can't you just use my signature stamp next
time?"

Rhianne laughed because she knew I was full of shit and knew that wasn't

possible. She gathered up all the papers and told me she was finished with me, so I
turned my attention back to Bella.

"So, how did the fitting go?" Bella squealed and it made me laugh. God, she was

so much fun!

"Did you know what they had arranged for me?" she asked with a giggle. I shook

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my head 'no' slowly because I really didn't know what they had arranged. I had just
left Alice and Rosalie to it as I knew they would know what to do.

"The actual designer met us at your apartment downtown and fitted the dress,

Edward! I nearly fell over dead! It was so… weird!" Her eyes were sparkling with
happiness and she was bouncing all over my lap, which wasn't really helping me to
remain in a platonic conversation with her. I teased one breast with my finger while
cocking my head to the side, smirking, and asking her why it was weird.

Bella laughed and grabbed my hand, effectively stopping me from teasing her

nipple any further. "I've never met a famous designer, Edward!" I wrenched my
hand free and went back to her other nipple.

I put a very serious look on my face and asked, "So, what designer was it?"

"Edward!" she squealed while jumping off my lap. She started around the side of

my desk, but I don't know why she was trying to get away. I just stood and followed
her, capturing her in a couple of steps and pinning her to my desk with my hips. I
ground myself against her, trying to distract her, but damned if she didn't just start
ignoring me.

"It was Elie Saab, and she put me in the most awesome black dress! And I can't

wait for you to see the fuck hot Jimmy Choo's that Rosalie picked out to go with it!
I'm so excited, Edward! I'm nervous, but excited. I don't want to make an ass of
myself!"

I shut her babbling up by placing my lips on hers and plunging my tongue directly

into her mouth. When I let her up for air I mused, "You definitely won't make an ass
of yourself, baby, but you looking all hot and sexy is going to make an ass of me
because I won't be able to keep my fucking hands off you."

End Note: RL is desperately trying to take me out and I had to write this chapter

in 10 minute increments over the past month. Thanks for your patience in waiting
for it. I'll post a link on my profile in the next day or two so that everyone can see
Bella's dress and shoes that were picked out for her. Many many thanks to Lead69,
LolaRose, and Eyes of Topaz for their assistance in dressing Bella for the VMAs
because I am a fashion disabled person. :)

I think we've accomplished our own jet for the Vixens so review and fuel the jet

ladies! HOLLA! We're gonna be overseas soon! *squee!*

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Paroxysm

A/N: My lovely Lillie...Thank you SO much for helping me to make this chapter,

and every chapter I write, so pretty. More than Heathcliffe, darlin'! Eyes of Topaz,
thank YOU for helping me brainstorm the idea for this chapter in the first place, and
for pre-beta'ing so that Lillie's job was so much easier.

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight... blah fucking blah blah

blah. As for any "real" people that might appear in this chapter... I do not wish to
cast them in a negative light. I've only used their names and public images with the
deepest of love and admiration for those that I used.

Bella

Thank fricken God for Alice, Rosalie, and Rhianne.

That's all I could think the day of the VMAs. I was a nervous fucking wreck and

had it not been for the three of them, I would have just said 'fuck it' and not gone.

Besides the fact that Edward was just pretty much missing that day because he

had appearances and interviews to do, I had no fucking idea what I was doing. The
entire day was spent getting facials, manicures, pedicures, hair… holy fuck. I had
professional hair stylists and makeup artists working on me for hours.

I was nervous as fuck and fidgeting when the stylist was working on my hair, so

Alice started digging in my purse. When I asked her what she was doing, she just
told me to shut the hell up and whispered something to Rosalie, who appeared a
moment later with a glass of champagne in her hand.

Alice glared at her and she shrugged. "It was the closest thing I could find. All you

said was 'a drink.' You didn't specify what."

Alice walked over to me and told me to open my mouth. She stuck her finger in my

mouth and I tasted the sweet Ativan tablet as she placed it on my tongue. It started
melting immediately, and I almost instantly began to calm down. I chugged down
the glass of champagne and relaxed in the chair while the dude finished my hair.

When I looked in the mirror, I was stunned at how great my hair actually looked.

Rosalie had instructed Marcus to leave it down. He had argued, greatly

- 337 -

exaggerating with his arms about how he wanted to put my hair up and shit, but
Rosalie turned on the bitch with him and insisted he leave it down. All I wanted was
to get it done and for everyone to shut the fuck up. Sometimes it was like I wasn't
even there with Rose and Alice directing everything. Rhianne kept checking in with
me, but she was also making sure Edward was everywhere he was supposed to be.

I was so damn tired by the time we were supposed to leave that I just wanted to

stay at the hotel and watch the show on TV, but Edward finally arrived to get
dressed and that made things all better.

I was still walking around the hotel suite in a silk robe, not having put my dress

and shoes on yet. Edward looked fan-fucking-tastic, as per usual. His time to get
ready to go? Thirty-six fucking minutes. Shower, run fingers through sex-hair with
some gel, leave two day old stubble on face, throw on a pair of Levi's, pull on a
t-shirt, put on custom made Adidas', pull a hoodie on. Sometimes being a girl sucks
ass.

We were finally ready to go and Alice took about a thousand fucking pictures. My

cheeks were sick of smiling already and the evening had barely begun. Edward,
Emmett, Rhianne and I headed down to the car where I fidgeted around nervously.
Edward tried to continually reassure me that everything was going to be fine, but I
wasn't buying it. I had a feeling in the pit of my gut that something was amiss. I felt
like fucking Alice, who was always having "feelings" about stuff.

I really felt badly that Alice, Rosalie, and Jasper weren't going to be sitting with

the rest of us, but between the four of us, Curtis, John, Brad, Ray, Chris, and Paul,
we were pretty well taking up all of the seats that were available to the label. Alice,
Rose, and Jas had assured me they were okay with it, but I wasn't sure that I was
okay with it.

Edward was nominated for five VMAs which made me proud, excited, and nervous

all at the same time. I mean, what if he made me go on stage with him when he
won? More than that, though, he was performing, and I didn't even want to think
about the red carpet. And fuck if we weren't arriving already.

The sheer size of the crowd gathered around the red carpet was intimidating. I

had seen crowds at Edward's shows and seen crowds lined up to catch a glimpse of
him coming or going at the venues, but this was something completely different.

As we pulled into the limo queue, I looked at both sides of the street at the

barricades where throngs of people stood. There were many police officers milling
around and keeping the crowds under control, but it looked like loose control to me.

- 338 -

I finally understood why Edward flat refused to take Abby to such an event. It was
terrifying for me and I was almost 25!

We slowly moved closer to the drop off point, and I started seeing other stars and

musicians getting out of their cars. This was the moment when it all suddenly
became real for me. I was going in there, with all of those famous people, and
hoping that they would accept me as an equal. Not that I thought they should accept
me as a rock star, but as a rock star's wife, and not just some plain-Jane brunette
from the Pacific Northwest.

Edward reached for my hand and whispered, "You're gonna be fine, baby. This is

supposed to be fun, remember?"

I nodded silently, trying hard to squash the desire to chew on my freshly done

nails, or just jump out of the car and run like hell.

The crowds were screaming when we pulled up to the drop off point and I could

actually feel my entire body shaking. When the limo door opened, I suppressed the
urge to throw up, pass out, anything that would get me out of being the center of
attention, because I had been warned. I would be.

Emmett got out first, his curly blonde hair gleaming in the late afternoon light. He

leaned in and grinned at us.

"Showtime, guys. Let's do this!"

Thank God Emmett's smile was infectious and so was his attitude. Edward put my

hand in Emmett's and urged me to step out of the car. I took a deep breath and as
soon as my leg exited the car, a roar went up from the crowds surrounding us. I
silently thanked God, Allah, Buddha, and whoever else might be listening, for the
barriers and the cops. I put a smile on my face and emerged from the limo, thanking
Emmett for helping me.

Rhianne climbed out next with a radiant smile on her face. She stood next to me

where I was just outside the car door. I tried to ignore all the screaming and what
people were saying. I just kept smiling and glancing between the car door and the
long expanse of red carpet in front of me that was littered with photographers,
correspondents, and celebrities with microphones.

Edward was the last to exit the car and it seemed like an eternity before I finally

saw one long jeans-clad leg make its way out of the portal.

- 339 -

He came out with a smile plastered on his face, waving at the screaming fans, and

grabbing my hand to lead me down the red carpet.

With every step I took, all I could think was, "Please don't let me fall… please

don't let me fall… please don't let me fall…"

We approached the area where all the photographers and correspondents were

and I slowed my pace, almost slipping in behind Edward, but he slid his arm around
my waist and pulled me close to him, plunging his other hand into his jeans pocket.
He looked so relaxed that it relaxed me somewhat, right up until the first
microphone was shoved in my face. No, not his, mine.

"How is your first red carpet walk going for you, Bella?" one of the MTV

correspondents asked me.

The only way I was able to even remotely choke out an answer was to concentrate

on the feel of Edward's arm around my waist, the feel of his body pressed up next to
mine, and the smile on my face. I nodded.

"It's a lot of fun!" I exclaimed with more enthusiasm than I really felt. I felt

Edward's arm tighten and release so I concentrated on not locking my knees and
passing out.

"I understand your gown is an Elie Saab original; can you give us a 360 of your

dress?"

"Um, sure!" I giggled, sure that I sounded like a squee'ing fangirl rather than the

wife of a superstar rapper.

Edward took my hand and spun me around in a slow circle so I could show the

camera my dress. The noise surrounding us was deafening. Radio City Music Hall
was lit up in front of us and I could see multiple musicians, singers, and actors all
over the place, all of whom I never thought I would ever be rubbing elbows with.

Once that interview was over and the correspondent had asked Edward a couple

of questions, we moved on down the red carpet. I finally realized why we had to
leave so long before the show. Walking the red carpet was more of a snail's pace
than anything, stopping to talk to all the reporters, posing for pictures, meeting
other celebrities… it was fucking insane.

The crowd inside the barricades got thicker and thicker as we approached the

entrance to Radio City. I nearly stroked out when Edward introduced me to Elton

- 340 -

John, Stevie Nicks, Rhianna, Beyonce… it was unreal. We were right next to the
doors that would lead us inside when Edward stepped over to the crowd and signed
a couple of autographs for a couple of crying teenage girls who were begging him
for an autograph. He kissed them both on the forehead and beamed at me as he took
my hand and lead me inside.

The lobby of the Music Hall was no different than outside, but I felt my fear falling

away as we left the noise of the big crowd of fans gathered there behind. Now,
rather than screaming fans, there was loud music, lots of celebs, lots of reporters,
and people in usher outfits leading people to their seats.

We stood in a short queue waiting to be seated and while we did so, Edward

whispered in my ear, "You're doing great, just like I thought you would, baby. I'm so
proud of you." He kissed me on the cheek and I felt the blush rising as it spread
from my chest onto my neck and face. I rolled my eyes at myself. How silly was it
that I survived about 30 interviews on the way to the line we were currently in,
didn't blush a bit, but when my sexy husband whispers in my ear that he's proud of
me, I full on blush from head to toe?

The usher directed us into the hall and down the long aisle to the second row in

the middle. I had no idea how the seating arrangements were made, but those were
good fucking seats.

As we all decided what order we would sit in, I noticed that Edward looked

slightly uncomfortable and gave Rhianne an odd look, to which she just shrugged
and took her seat. I ended up between Emmett, who sat on the aisle, and Edward. At
some point, the rest of the guys had caught up with us and they sat further on down
the row with Paul and Rhianne on their right.

I glanced around, trying not to gawk, at the rock & roll, hip-hop, country, and

Hollywood royalty that surrounded us. I barely even noticed when the shock of
blonde hair in front of us turned around and stared briefly first at me, and then
Edward. It was her voice that caught my attention. It was Pink. I tried to smile my
best non-stalker smile as she addressed Edward.

"How ya doin,' EC?"

Edward shifted in his seat and squeezed my hand before nodding and saying,

"Alecia."

She smirked at him and turned around, whispering something in the ear of the

person sitting next to her. I couldn't put my finger on what that whole exchange had

- 341 -

been about, but it was soon forgotten as I watched the theatre fill up with hundreds
of celebs.

All of the kings of the hip-hop world were there and it was interesting to me to

watch as they all filtered in with their various gangs. Edward's posse was nothing
compared to some of them. I snickered when Snoop Dogg appeared in a purple
velvet suit with a big hat and had seven bodyguards. I mean, really, if you can't be
safe at a function with your peers, where can you be safe?

By the time the televised portion of the awards show started, I was finally

relaxing. Several people, actors and singers alike, had stopped to say hello. They
had all been very welcoming to me and made me feel as though I belonged there,
which really helped with my nerves.

The lights went down and the music started. It really was amazing. All of those

performers all together in one place and all cheering each other on was just awe
inspiring.

Before I knew it, the first award that Edward was nominated for came up and I

found myself with a knot in the middle of my stomach. He won it, and the knot
tightened. While I was thrilled he had won Best Male Video, I nearly threw up at the
prospect of going on stage with him as he grabbed my hand and pulled me along.
Just as we were stepping onto the stage, I found my strength, put a smile on my
face, and blended into the background, letting the rest of the guys surround me as
Edward gave his thank you speech.

"I know I'm not supposed to bring my wife on stage with me, but I can't stand to

be away from her that long." I blushed furiously and tried to disappear further. I
couldn't believe that not only did Edward bring me on stage with him, he freaking
pointed it out.

"So, I wanna thank all the fans, because without you guys, this shit just wouldn't

be happening. I've got a hell of a lot of fucking people to thank, but in order to save
on time, I've gotta thank Bella and Abby, God, the fans, my producers, directors, the
label, and all these guys right here for always having my fucking back."

I nearly burst into laughter at Edward swearing like a sailor up there. It was

apparently because of him that they had to broadcast with a 90 second delay,
because I was just sure that they bleeped most of his acceptance speech.

When that was over, we walked backstage and what a zoo that was! I was

completely amazed at how quickly everything got done on stage and how organized

- 342 -

it seemed compared to the utter chaos that seemed to be taking place in the
background.

We were ushered into a room where they were doing interviews with the winners

and stood in front of a green screen while Edward and the rest of the guys were
interviewed. The interviewer asked me how I felt about Edward's award and all I
could choke out was, "I'm just so proud of him."

I was sent with an usher back to my seat while Edward and the guys went to

prepare for their performance. When I sat down, Rhianne moved to sit next to me
and that made me feel a lot better. I realized that I had never actually watched
Edward perform from the audience; I had always been backstage. It excited me to
think that I would be able to see what his fans saw.

During the commercial breaks, they gave away other awards and reset the stage

for the next performance. Edward's producers won an award for something or other
– best art production or something – and then it was time for Edward's performance.

When they introduced him, I started clapping and yelling with the crowd. I was

immediately embarrassed as fuck when I realized that one of the TV cameras was
pointed at me, but decided, "What the hell? He's my husband. I'm excited to see him
perform!"

As much as I loved being backstage when Edward was performing, being out in

the crowd was just fucking amazing. Of course, the part where he made eye contact
with me several times and winked at me a few times helped a lot, but watching him
work the crowd from a different perspective was fabulous. It strengthened my
resolve that Edward was a fucking genius.

After the performance, Edward came back to sit with me again, and I could have

sworn I saw him and Eminem giving each other a glare as Edward walked by. When
Edward sat down, I leaned over and whispered to him, "What was that about?" He
just shook his head and motioned towards the stage for me to watch what was going
on. I made a mental note to ask him about it again later.

Edward's video for "Heartache & Misery" ended up winning four of the five

awards it was nominated for, including Video of the Year. I was so proud of him, and
so exhausted by the time the show was over. However, the night was far from over.
Apparently, it's almost required to go to the after parties. There were two that
Edward said we had to make appearances at, anyway.

The first one was fairly quiet and consisted mostly of record execs, producers, and

- 343 -

the like. We only stayed there for about half an hour. We walked around the room
sipping champagne while Edward introduced me to all of music's most important
people. I turned on the charm as best I could and tried not to be nervous.

The next after party was where all the fun was. It was loud and raucous with lots

of music, lots of stars, lots of booze, and lots of whatever else anyone could dream
up. Fortunately, Edward had gotten Alice, Rose, and Jasper in so I didn't feel so
alone, but then again, I was.

Alice was totally working the crowd with Jasper on her arm. She was busy making

contacts, passing out her card, and trying to drum up business.

I stood there, martini in hand, and wondered how in the hell she was going to

keep up with doing all of the wedding and party planning that she wanted to do as
well as keep up with being my personal assistant. I wondered then if Alice was the
right choice. While I loved the thought of her taking care of me and all the crap that
Rhianne insisted was coming my way, I wasn't sure if she would enjoy it as much
working for me rather than just "doing" for me as my friend. I tucked that thought
away to contemplate it later.

Rosalie was almost as bad as Alice, charming all the men with her long blonde

hair, movie star looks, long legs, and her Ferrari dealership. I found myself alone in
the crowd on more than one occasion.

It was at one of these inopportune moments that Eminem decided to sidle up to

me and introduce himself. I was incredibly drunk by that time, as was just about
everyone else. I also may or may not have taken an extra Ativan… or two… just to
try to calm my nerves while I tried to navigate the party alone. Edward was nowhere
to be seen, as he had been most of the night. I understood that he was in EC Velvet
mode, but was a little unhappy with him for just going off and leaving me to fend for
myself.

When Eminem sat down next to me in the oversized chair that I was currently

occupying, it didn't strike me as odd or bad or anything else that I was squished into
a chair with him. Apparently, my defenses were down enough that it didn't occur to
me that I should get the fuck out of there and fast. He was as drunk and fucked up
as I was, so our conversation wasn't exactly intelligent at that point.

We talked for a few minutes, but I don't really remember exactly what we were

talking about. In fact, I don't remember a whole lot other than him sitting in the
chair next to me, talking to me, and Edward suddenly flipping right the fuck out. I
remember Edward's words loud and clear.

- 344 -

"Get your mother-fucking hands off my fucking wife!" he roared.

I jumped and started to scramble to get out of the chair, but a strong hand on my

shoulder held me down. I was terrified looking at Edward. I had never seen him so
angry. If he could have shot daggers from his eyes, he would have.

"I'm just keepin' your wife company while you left her sitting here alone, fuckwit."

Oh God, did he really just say that?

"Take your God damned hands off her," Edward seethed in reply. It was then that

I realized that the hand on my shoulder keeping me from getting up was Eminem's. I
started trying to get out of his grasp while stuttering some sort of explanation to
Edward. I was utterly shocked at his response since I hadn't really realized what had
been going on.

"I'll deal with you later, Bella. I should have known you'd be making out with the

first A-list celebrity you could get your fucking hands on the minute I turned my
back. Women are all the fucking same."

I started crying immediately. "Oh fuck, what did I do?" was all I could think.

Whatever buzz I had, or high I was on, was gone instantly. The activities of the few
moments before Edward had started screaming suddenly became crystal clear. Em
had been talking to me, nuzzling into my ear so that I could hear him over the din of
the crowd and the loud music. It dawned on me what it must have looked like to
Edward.

Fuck… motherfucking fuck! WHY did I get so drunk? WHY did I take the fucking

Ativan? FUCK… I've ruined everything! My mind was screaming at me while I was
still trying to get out of the damned overstuffed chair. Em was still trying to hold me
back, but Edward was moving towards me like a cat on the prowl. Of course, by this
time, I knew that I wasn't really dealing with Edward, but Velvet, and a very drunk
and fucked up Velvet at that. I tried to maintain a calm façade but I was terrified
that I had fucked up everything in that brief moment of weakness.

Edward reached out and grabbed my hand, roughly pulling me out of the chair.

"I'm sorry," I whispered.

He glared at me and then pulled me around behind him.

"Marshall, keep your fucking hands off my fucking wife from now on. I don't give a

- 345 -

fuck how fucked up she is, it doesn't give you the right to…"

"Ya know what, Edward? Maybe you should learn to control yourself at these

parties and you wouldn't have to worry about what your wife was doing. At least I
can keep Slim under control when I need to. Haven't you learned how to do that
yet?"

The two men stood face to face, staring each other down. Em was a few inches

shorter than Edward, but looked every bit as tough. I tugged on the back of
Edward's shirt, trying to pull him away, but he swatted at my hand. I started to
panic, thinking they were going to fight, but before I could say anything, Emmett
and Jasper were there and flanked Edward. Of course, Marshall's bodyguards were
there instantly as well. Neither man blinked. They just kept staring at each other
until Jasper finally stepped between them and pushed them apart.

"Come on, guys, it's a party. Don't ruin everyone else's fun. Let's just move to our

opposite corners and ignore each other for the rest of the night, okay?" he said in
that stoic manner that only Jasper could.

Edward's shoulders relaxed immediately and so did Marshall's. They stood there

for a moment more before bumping fists.

"Sorry, man. I should have just backed the fuck off," Marshall said to Edward as

he backed away from him. Edward just nodded and watched him go.

As soon as I could see that they weren't going to fight, I turned tail and started

hunting for Alice or Rosalie to take me back to the hotel. I heard Edward calling to
me, but I ignored him. I was embarrassed by my behavior, the fact that I was drunk
as hell, fucked up on Ativan, and had betrayed my husband with his arch fucking
nemesis. I just had to get out of there.

I found Rosalie and told her I wanted to go, so she helped me get my stuff

together and we got out of there. We actually took a cab back to the hotel and upon
our arrival, I was crying and begged to stay with her. She didn't argue with me, but
simply took me to her room, helped me out of my clothes, put me in one of Emmett's
t-shirts, and helped me into bed.

I lay there for what felt like hours just sobbing. At one point, I heard a knock at

the door and heard Rosalie telling Edward to fuck off. I started to get out of bed, but
decided it wasn't the time for me to go try to talk to him. It would only end up in a
fight anyway. Rosalie told Edward I was asleep and to leave me alone until morning.
I heard Edward say, "Fuck you, Rosalie," before the door slammed shut.

- 346 -

I lay there waffling between being upset at what had happened and being angry

with Edward. Why the fuck he had left me alone at that party in the first fucking
place was beyond me. Hell, he had even said in his acceptance speech that he
couldn't stand to be away from me. That lasted a long time. Fucker went off playing
Velvet and left me in the fucking dust at the party without any remorse. And what
was that fucking bullshit he said? All women are the fucking same? What was that?
Some kind of slam comparing me to fucking Tanya? Oh, HELL no.

But then, I cringed to imagine what he must have thought was going on when he

happened upon Eminem and me snuggled together in the chair, Em's face nuzzled
into my ear… and felt so fucking guilty I couldn't stand it.

At some point later on in the night, I heard Rosalie and Emmett arguing and I felt

even worse. Not only had I caused problems with my husband, I had caused
problems with Emmett and Rose, too. I finally deemed myself a worthless piece of
shit and drifted off into a fitful sleep of nightmares about what my life was going to
be like without Edward and Abby in it.

End Note: I've wrapped myself in bubble wrap to soften the blows of the shit I

know you are all going to throw at me. Please be gentle. At least I didn't make you
wait three weeks for this, right? Right?!

Vixens to the left to board the jet, haters to the right to walk off a cliff.

All my love to all of my readers who faithfully review, favorite, alert, pimp me, and

everything else you all do. You're great!

- 347 -

Exacerbation

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. Do I need to remind anyone of that? I also don't

own Eminem, but I love him.

A/N: To all of you who didn't hate me last chapter, thank you. To all of you who

were angry with me, sorry. To all of you who are going to hate me this chapter,
please remember that the Prologue of this story is the END of the story, so it WILL
all work out. If you don't want to deal with the angst, please wait to read this until
the next chapter is posted, which will be soon because I AM working on it. I don't
want to leave you all here like this. To all of you who respect me as an author to
write MY story, thank you for trusting me.

Lillie... Thanks for not killing me. Love you.

Edward

After Marshall's bullshit, I was really in the mood to kick the ever-livin' fuck out of

somebody. That motherfucker had been in my face one too many times and I was
sick of his self-righteous shit.

Fuck the three-one-three. Three-one-two is in the motherfucking house!

I turned to stalk off, expecting Bella to be right behind me, but she was gone.

Well, isn't that just fresh and fucking convenient?Typical. Fucks up and runs.

Goddamned women anyway.

I marched over to the bar and ordered myself up another shot of Patron and

another beer. Emmett came over to stand next to me, looking at me expectantly. I
downed my shot and started to drain my beer before I got fucking irritated with him
staring my ass down. I placed my beer on the bar and faced him.

"What?" I half-shouted at him, because his mere presence was pissing me right

the fuck off.

"Dude, don't you think you were a little hard on her?"

"Fuck you, Emmett. I don't have to put up with that kind of bullshit. That's exactly

- 348 -

the reason that people like me shouldn't fucking get involved. I'm just a fucking
stepping stone for her ass to go find somebody better. Well fuck her and fuck you."

Emmett grabbed my arm, but I knocked his hand away. I was far from in the mood

to discuss it with his daffy ass. I grabbed my beer and went out on the balcony to
chill out for a while. At least it was fucking quiet out there.

Bella

I would have thought that when I woke up I'd be weepy and shit, wanting to run to

him and beg his forgiveness, but I wasn't. I was hung over as hell and lividly pissed
off.

I looked over at Rosalie, who was dressed in sweatpants and a tank top, lying on

top of the bedding next to me sound asleep. I almost woke her up, but decided
against it. After all, I was fucking pissed at her, too.

Every one of my so-called motherfucking friends had abandoned me that night to

their own ends. Edward was busy socializing, which I could have forgiven if he had
even remotely acted like I was alive. Rosalie was busy pursuing her own shit,
schmoozing up to the rich and famous, trying to sell fucking cars.

Alice… I couldn't remember ever having been truly angry with Alice, but I was

that morning. She, of all people, had left me on my own. She knew how anxious I
had been about the whole evening, the after party included. She was also supposed
to be trying things out to see if she liked being my assistant and could do both that
and her planning business, and she just fucking left me in the dust. None of them
gave me a second thought.

When I walked out the bedroom door into the living area of Rose and Emmett's

suite, I noticed Emmett sprawled on the sofa-bed in his underwear. I stopped and
stared for the briefest moment. I would never have pegged Emmett as a Calvin Klein
type of guy, but there he was with Calvin's name all over his waistband. Huh.

I tip-toed over to the phone and ordered up breakfast, complete with a newspaper.

Emmett was snoring so fucking loud I had to repeat myself twice to the girl on the
other end.

After I ordered breakfast, I made some coffee and grabbed my phone out of my

purse that was sitting on the table. No calls. No texts. Motherfuck.

- 349 -

I tossed the phone aside and waited for the damn coffee to brew. When it was

finally done, I poured myself a cup, doctored it up, and headed out to the balcony for
a few minutes to get away from the damned snoring.

When breakfast arrived, Rosalie awakened and stumbled into the living area

looking like death warmed over. I glanced at her as I sat down to my waffle. "You
look like ass."

"Thanks. So do you," she shot back at me.

I went back to my waffle and ate about three bites before I started feeling sick. I

didn't like being at odds with Edward. I wanted to go to him so badly and just talk it
out and make up, but I felt strongly that he owed me some serious explanation and
needed to grovel a little. That shot in the gut about all women being the same was
just too much for me to overlook. His behavior had to be nipped in the bud before it
got out of hand.

I shoved my plate away and grabbed the paper, rattling it around as I tucked it

under my arm and headed to the bathroom to take a shower. "You got anything I can
wear around here?" I asked Rose as I went. She came in the bedroom and tossed me
a pair of sweats and a tank top. I glanced at them and shrugged. "Thanks." She
didn't answer me, but kept eyeing me as though she were waiting for me to blow up
or something. She had no fucking idea.

Once I was out of the shower and felt a little better, had downed a couple of

Tylenol, and was on my second cup of coffee, I sat down with the paper. I noticed
that Emmett was gone when I got up, but I didn't ask where. At least I hadn't heard
Rose throwing shit at him while I was in the bathroom.

I had just gotten settled into the chair and found the entertainment section of the

newspaper when all hell broke loose. I stood up, furious, looked at Rose and yelled,
"Oh hell no!"

Startled, Rose jumped up from the table and ran over to me. "What?" she cried,

staring at me with her big blue eyes wide.

I shoved the paper at her and started crying and shaking with anger all at once.

She looked at the paper and her fist tightened, crumpling the page. She looked up at
me, fury on her face and seethed, "Fuck. Her."

I snatched the paper out of her hand and headed for the door, not wanting

another minute to pass by before I took care of this. I needed to do it while it was

- 350 -

fresh and I was angry.

"Where are you going?" Rose shouted, jogging to catch up with me.

I reached the door and grabbed the knob, turning to face her. "I'm going to take

care of this shit now. Pack," I ordered her. She stopped and backed off, letting me
go do what I needed to.

As I made my way down the hallway to Edward's suite, the rage within me rose

ten-fold and my entire body vibrated with it. "If that sonofabitch wants her, he can
fucking have her," I thought as I reached his door.

Edward

I woke up to the sound of my bedroom door opening and thought, "Is she finally

coming home? Does she hate me now? If she doesn't, she will after I talk to her and
tell her what happened…" I didn't have time to worry about it, though. I sat up to
greet her and she slapped me. Hard. I was stunned and trying to get my bearings. I
peered up into the angriest face I had ever seen. She thrust the newspaper at me,
the fury rolling off of her in waves. Her tiny frame was shaking as she glared down
at me.

"What the fuck, Edward? What the fuck is that?" she yelled. I scrambled for the

paper, dreading what I might see on its pages.

Sure enough, there it was, right there on the front page of the entertainment

section. A picture of my previous night's indiscretion. As innocent as it was, it didn't
look innocent plastered all over the newspaper. I blinked a couple of times and
tossed the paper aside.

"Bella, please, look, I can explain," I stammered.

"Well? Start then. You have one hell of a lot of explaining to do and I have a

fucking plane to catch, so get after it!" Her anger level wasn't lessening as she stood
there with her arms crossed.

I made a move to get out of bed and she stopped me. "No, Edward. Now. I don't

want you anywhere near me, so don't even try. Give me whatever lame assed
explanation you've got for your behavior last night, for that," she pointed at the
paper, "and for why the fuck you've been lying to me all along telling me you loved

- 351 -

me and couldn't live without me." The tears began to roll down her face and I felt as
though my heart had been ripped out of my chest.

I watched her as she angrily pushed the tears off her face with her fists. I was a

piece of shit. I had behaved in the worst of ways at that damned party. I didn't know
what had come over me. As soon as we got there, I just left her. I didn't even think
to take her with me. Fucking Velvet.

"Bella, please, sit down. Please?" I wanted her to calm down just a little because

what I had to tell her wasn't going to be easy and I didn't want her flipping the fuck
out. I wanted her to get closer to me so that maybe I could hold her or some shit.
Okay, so I'm a selfish fuck. I wanted her to just fucking forgive me and get over it,
but I knew it wasn't going to be that way.

"Edward, either start fucking talking or I'm out of here!" she yelled, pointing at

the door and stomping her foot for emphasis. Fuck, she was hot when she was mad,
but I couldn't be thinking like that. I had to diffuse the situation.

I finally decided to take my chances and stand up, but found out that was a bad

idea since I was sporting morning wood.

"Jesus Christ, Edward. Fuck you," she shouted as she turned towards the door. I

ordered my dick to control itself as I chased her out of the bedroom.

"Bella, c'mon, baby, just gimme a minute to wake up, go to the bathroom, collect

myself, and then we can talk, please?" I said, grabbing her arm. Her elbow
immediately met my solar plexus, nearly knocking the wind out of me. She whirled
around and got right in my face, shoving her finger into my chest.

"Don't. Fucking. Touch. Me. I wasn't a cop's daughter for nothing," she spat at me.

"Quit trying to stall. If what you have to say is too hard for you, then I'm fucking
sorry I bothered you. I'll just get on back home." She turned and headed for the door
again. I had to stop her. I was still trying to wake up, my fucking head was
pounding, I felt like I was gonna puke, and I just didn't want to have to deal with
what lie ahead.

"I love you," I blurted out. Probably not the best choice of words, but it was the

only thing I knew of to stop her. She did stop, but didn't turn around. I could see her
body trembling from head to toe and could see the red flushing her cheek. Fuck. I
just pissed her off more.

"If you loved me, we wouldn't be fighting right now because we wouldn't have a

- 352 -

reason to fight," she said in a voice that was deadly calm, but shaking.

"Please hear me out. When I get done, you can leave, or whatever you want, but I

want you to hear me out first. Please, Bella? Please?" What kind of fucking
pansy-assed motherfucker begs? The kind that made a total and complete fucking
ass of himself last night, stupid.

I waited for her decision, my stomach pulling flip-flops the entire time. When she

turned and walked back towards me, brushing past me to sit on the sofa, I felt so
fucking relieved. She was at least going to listen.

"Okay, I'll be right back, okay? Don't go anywhere," I said as I ran for the

bathroom. I threw some mouthwash in my mouth because I had some serious
fucking morning breath going on, eliminated the cause of my morning wood, and
threw on a pair of sweats before I returned to the living area. She was still sitting
there, glaring, arms crossed. I almost sat on the sofa next to her, but thought better
of it and sat in the chair across from her instead.

"Bella, I was a fucking ass last night and I apologize, from the bottom of my heart,

I'm sorry, baby." I knew that I would need to say more than that, but I hoped that
starting with an apology would help.

"You're not going to hear any argument from me. You were a fucking ass last

night. Explain," she ordered. Her tone of voice had not softened at all. It had a hard
edge to it that scared me. It was as though she was devoid of any emotion except
anger. Her words were like a knife in my gut, stabbing and twisting. I took a deep
breath before I continued.

"Look, I overreacted when I saw you talking to Marshall, okay? It looked… well…

it looked like he was kissing your ear when I glanced over there. There's not exactly
any love lost between us anyway, and… okay, there's no excuse. I freaked. I'm
sorry." All she did was nod. She didn't say a fucking word. Jesus, she was making me
feel like shit, and rightfully so.

"Well," I continued, shifting in my chair a bit. This was the part that really made

me uncomfortable, because after I overreacted and she left was when I really fucked
up. I mean, I didn't do anything bad… necessarily… depending on how you looked at
it and she was going to look at it the bad way.

I braced myself for Hurricane Bella and kept talking. "After I discovered you were

gone, Emmett tried to talk to me, but I said some really ugly things to him and left
him standing at the bar. I, uh, went out to the balcony and proceeded to get really

- 353 -

fucked up, like more fucked up than I already was."

I kept my eyes on Bella while I spoke. I saw her jaw clenching, the muscles in her

face twitching, her fists tightening. Her body language was closed and her face held
a look of pure agony mixed with anger. I briefly wondered if it was even worth my
trying to explain to her and make up with her, but I couldn't bear the thought of her
leaving me. I really couldn't live without her.

"Keep talking, Edward. I've still got to pack before I can leave." She made a point

of making her eyes never leave my face as she said this, serious as a heart attack.
Her voice was so low that I could hardly hear her. It was eerie how calm she had
become. I was afraid that I was watching our relationship crumble right before my
very eyes.

I decided just to get the rest of it over with, so I talked really fast as I told her the

rest of the story. "I was out there looking out at the city, finally realizing what a dick
I had been to you, when Alecia came out to talk to me. She saw me standing out
there alone, had seen you leave, and was worried about us. She stood next to me,
talking, for the longest time. She helped me to understand exactly what had been
going on when I flipped out, and that made me feel even more like a dick, and I was
drunk as fuck, and emo…" I trailed off, remembering my drunken fucking ass
blubbering like a fucking baby on the balcony. I glanced back over at Bella, because
at some point, I had become too much of a chicken shit to maintain eye contact with
her while I spoke. She was bouncing her leg up and down and grinding her teeth.
Her eyes held daggers that were piercing right through me.

"When I got ready to leave and come back here, she gave me a hug. I thanked her

and pecked her on the cheek and the lips. I swear to God, Bella. It was an innocent
'thank you' kiss. I had no idea there were any paparazzi around. I didn't even know
that picture was taken. I had every intention…" I stopped and stared at her. She was
trembling with fury again, but trying to maintain her calm façade. I didn't know
whether to go on, or not, but decided it was best if I just continued until she either
stopped me, left me, or killed me. Although, at that point in time, I would really
rather she kill me than anything. I couldn't stand her being so angry with me, even if
I did deserve it.

"I had every intention of telling you exactly what happened when I got back, but

when I got here, you weren't around. I knew that Rose had left the party with you,
so I went to her suite to ask her where you were. She wouldn't let me see you, and it
pissed me off because I wanted to explain myself… apologize… whatever. I came
back here, talked to Emmett for a while, and passed the fuck out. And that's
everything." I stopped for a moment, waiting for a response, and then added, "And

- 354 -

I'm really really sorry, for everything. I never meant to hurt you."

I waited in agony while Bella decided my fate. If she left me, I deserved it. I

deserved it for leaving her at the party, for the shitty things I had said and thought,
for kissing an old flame on the fucking balcony, even if it was innocent, for dragging
her into my mess of a life. I deserved everything she could throw at me, and then
some. I sat there bargaining with myself. If she stays, I'll stop drinking. I'll never
touch another drop. I'll ditch Velvet and just be me. I'll do anything. I'll stop living
the lifestyle… just please… please God… let her stay.

"How could you compare me to Tanya like that, Edward? How could you? You

know damn well that I'm nothing like Tanya, yet the first time you got upset with
me, that was what came out of your mouth. I'm more hurt about that than I am the
picture in the paper. All that picture is going to do is escalate your career. You're a
rapper. You're supposed to be out getting fucked up and cheating on your woman,
all the while expecting her to be true to you." Her voice started to rise again, and I
could tell that she was in a quandary over what she should do. "I'm hurt, I feel
betrayed, and I feel used," she yelled, a sob making its way out of her mouth at the
end.

I didn't know if I should say something or just sit there. She moved towards the

edge of the sofa and I immediately stood and started towards her. Apparently that
wasn't the right thing to do because she jumped up and started backing away from
me. I reached for her and she shrank back from me again.

"I didn't mean it, Bella. I promise. I swear. On Abby's life, I swear I didn't mean it."

She stopped as soon as Abby's name came out of my mouth. Abby was the single
most important thing in my life. Bella knew that. It gave her pause and I hoped it
made her realize how truly sorry I was.

"Don't think you're getting out of it that easily. Have a nice time in Ireland," she

said icily as she turned and stalked out of our suite, slamming the door behind her.

I collapsed on the sofa, holding my head in my hands. I ran my fingers up into my

hair and clenched my fists. I couldn't just let her go, I just couldn't. I jumped up and
ran to the door, throwing it open. I saw her disappear into Rosalie's room door just
as I entered the hallway and I ran, leaving my door standing wide open. I made it to
the door before Rosalie closed it, putting my foot inside.

"Get the fuck out of here," Rosalie said, appearing in the crack between the door

and the jamb.

- 355 -

"I can't lose her like this." My voice was desperate. I knew it, and she knew it.

Emmett appeared behind Rosalie and took the door from her, opening it enough to

stop crushing my damn foot.

"Go on, Rose. Go take care of her," he said quietly.

By then, I was a wreck. I needed her forgiveness. I needed her arms around me. I

needed her love. I looked pleadingly at Emmett and he begrudgingly let me inside,
on the condition that I didn't try to go into the bedroom where Bella had locked
herself as soon as she entered the suite. Rosalie was softly knocking at the bedroom
door, asking Bella to let her in.

My mind was swirling with the implications of all that had happened. I had taken

advantage of Bella in the worst way. I had hurt her more than I deserved to be
forgiven for, but I couldn't walk away. I fucked up. A giant hole was ripped in my
chest and it ached so bad I couldn't stand up. I grabbed a chair for support, feeling
like I couldn't breathe. She felt used. Of course she felt used. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Rosalie was still trying to get Bella to open the bedroom door, while Emmett was

trying to support my weight as I tumbled further and further into an abyss.

Did I use her? Fuck no! I love her! But I took her for granted. I didn't take care of

her like I promised her I would. God… I'd give anything to take it all back… those
vicious words I said…

Bella screaming at Rosalie brought me out of the darkness. I heard her voice, and

fought to hang on to it.

"Leave me the fuck alone, Rosalie! You were no better last night! You all fucking

abandoned me, so fuck off and leave me ALONE!"

Rosalie turned to face Emmett and me, stunned. "What the fuck did you say to

her, Edward?"

"What? I… I apologized… I explained… I…" My voice sounded foreign to me. I was

stammering and stuttering and couldn't understand why. At once, we all realized
that this wasn't just about what I had said to her. This was about everyone leaving
her. Fuck. I gathered my strength and went to the bedroom door.

"Bella, come on, baby. Open the door. We all love you. We're all sorry for what

happened. Please, baby, just open the door. Let someone in. It doesn't have to be

- 356 -

me," I pleaded with her. I heard her moving around the bedroom and heard her
crying, but she never came near the door. I pleaded with her for an eternity to just
open the fucking door, but I was met with silence from the other side.

Rosalie was texting furiously on her phone and my phone started ringing. I

snatched it out of my pocket. It was Rhianne, of course.

"What is it, Rhianne? We've got a bit of a crisis here," I whispered as I crossed the

room, leaving Emmett to try and coax Bella out of the bedroom.

"You've got an 8:00 pm flight, Edward. I'm just calling to let you know that all the

arrangements have been made. What's the crisis?"

"Nothing. We may not make that flight. Can you reschedule it for tomorrow?" I

kept glancing at the bedroom door where Emmett was getting upset with Bella
because she wasn't answering him. I started scanning the room for her purse and
became frantic when I realized it wasn't there. I didn't even wait for Rhianne's
response. I clicked my phone off just as Alice and Jasper came tearing into the room.

"Where's Bella's purse?" I asked frantically.

"FUCK!" Rosalie yelled. "She grabbed it when she went in there." Rosalie's eyes

were wide with fear as she realized what my concern was.

Whatever composure I had left went out the window. Bella had been locked in that

bedroom for a good 30 minutes and she wasn't responding at all anymore to
anyone's pleas for her to open the door. Emmett starting filling Alice and Jasper in
on what was going on as I took off at a dead run for the bedroom door and slammed
my full body weight against it. It creaked and groaned, but didn't budge.

"Bella, damn it, open this door right now or I'm coming in!" I shouted.

No response.

I waited a second more.

No response.

I backed up a few feet and ran at the door again, putting my shoulder into it. The

lock gave way under my weight and the door flew open. I charged inside as I saw
her lying across the bed.

- 357 -

When I first saw her, I thought she was dead. I screamed something incoherent as

Rosalie, Emmett, Alice, and Jasper all rushed past me.

Jasper reached her first and turned her over. Saliva slid down the side of her face

and her hair stuck in it. "She's breathing," he said.

I ran to her, gathered her into my arms, and started rocking her back and forth.

Flashes of memories flooded my mind of the times I had rushed Tanya to the
hospital when she was OD'ing. It scared the bejeebus out of me and I started
flipping out.

"Oh God, Bella, no, what did you do? Fuck. I'm so sorry, baby. I'm so sorry. Stay

with me, baby, stay with me." I buried my face in her hair and held her tight while
looking wildly around the room for the offending pill bottle that I knew was
responsible for her unconscious state. My eyes landed on one that was lying on its
side on the bedside table… fucking empty. I reached over and grabbed it. Fucking
Ativan. I rocked her harder.

"God damn it, Bella, how much did you take? Fuck." I didn't even think, I just

jumped and ran. I tore down the hallway and kicked the button of the elevator with
my bare foot, trying to talk to her all the while. Our four friends were right behind
me, all in various states of pulling on shoes and jackets.

"Where are you going with her, Edward?" Alice shouted with tears streaming

down her face.

"Fuck, I don't know. A fucking hospital!" I shouted back as I ran into the slow ass

elevator. My heart was pounding. I cradled her as the other four piled into the
elevator and Emmett took over, pushing the button and telling everyone to calm
down.

Alice asked Rosalie how many pills were in the bottle the day before. Rose

explained that Bella had two bottles in her purse, one with just a few pills in it and a
full one. None of us had grabbed her purse to see which one she had emptied. I was
freaking out. I barely registered the words they were all saying. I was focused on
Bella and Bella alone.

"Please wake up, baby," I whispered through my tears into her hair. I felt so

fucking responsible for this whole thing. Bella would never have done this had it not
been for me. I was miserable and sick. It was all I could do to not throw up as the
elevator rushed to the ground floor. As soon as the doors opened, I dashed out,
running across the lobby barefoot, carrying my unconscious wife. Naturally, the

- 358 -

lobby was packed with people, but everyone got out of my way as I ran through,
tears streaming down my face.

"I've got you, baby. I'll take care of you, I promise. Just be okay, please be okay," I

chanted to her as I ran out the front doors of the hotel and to the first waiting cab.

Jasper yanked the cab door open and I nearly fell inside with Bella in my arms.

Jasper jumped in the front seat and told the cabbie to please take us to the nearest
hospital and step on it. The cabbie peered into the back seat at Bella and me.

"Dude! What the fuck are you lookin' at? Fucking step on it!" I yelled at him.

I immediately returned my attention to Bella as the cab driver tore away from the

hotel and drove like a fucking maniac. I heard Jasper arguing with him, but didn't
pay attention to their words. My Bella just had to be okay.

End Note: Just so you know, I've shopped the internet for flame-proof clothing.

I love you all, hard and repeatedly. Just so you know.

The Vixen jet is all decked out, ready for take-off. Let's fuel it up, ladies.

- 359 -

Realization

Disclaimer: SM owns all things Twilight. I own all things EC Velvet and The

Letter.

Lillie ~ As always, my thanks for your fucktastic beta skills, without which, I

would suck. Tami & Amy ~ Thanks for all you do!

Chapter theme song is Two is Better than One by Boys Like Girls feat. Taylor Swift

Bella

I heard Edward singing to me. At first, I thought it was a dream, but soon realized

that I was waking up, and he was really there and was really singing. My eyes were
still closed and my eyelids felt heavy. I concentrated on feeling and listening.

My hand was in Edward's and I tried to tighten my grip. Edward didn't miss a

note, he just continued to sing.

I thought back, trying to remember what had happened. My mind was fuzzy and I

felt groggy, but I remembered the fight with Edward. I remembered the desperation
I had felt and how hurt I had been. I recalled feeling as though I just wanted to go to
sleep and when I woke up, all the drama would be over.

I was so angry with Edward and all of my friends for leaving me on my own that I

just wanted to get away from all of them for awhile. I hated feeling the way I did.
Everything was happening so fast and I realized that Edward and I both had issues
we should have resolved before we jumped into our marriage blindly.

I inhaled deeply and smelled the scent of Edward washing over me. He smelled

clean, and woodsy, and… safe. I could also smell something floral… roses.

I moved around ever so slightly and Edward's beautiful voice hesitated for just a

moment before he continued singing and… rocking me.

He really does love me…

The entire fight had been ridiculous. If I hadn't been such a pansy about being

alone at the party, none of it ever would have happened. I said things to him, awful

- 360 -

things that I wished I was able to take back, but I couldn't. I treated him horribly.
Nothing like how I wanted to treat the man that I loved desperately. Of course, he
hadn't treated me very well either, but in the end, it was all a misunderstanding. He
shouldn't have had to babysit me. I was perfectly capable of taking care of myself.

I shifted my weight again and realized that I was lying against Edward's body. His

arms were around me and he was rocking me. He must have picked the lock on
Rose's bedroom door or something.

Fuck. Rose is gonna be furious. I wonder how long I've been asleep in here?

Finally, I opened my eyes and blinked a couple of times. I was definitely not in

Rose's room anymore. Edward's singing stopped and my ears were met with nothing
but the sound of our breathing and his heart beating. I looked up into the most
devastated face I had ever seen.

"Hi," was all he said.

"Hi." I could feel the blush rise to my cheeks. I was embarrassed by my earlier

behavior. Edward's hand cupped my face and he kissed me tenderly.

"You scared the fuck out of me, baby." His face was the picture of genuine

concern.

I noticed that it was mostly dark in the room. Suddenly, I wondered how long I

really had been asleep.

"I… I'm sorry… how long was I…?"

"Seventeen hours and thirty-seven minutes, to be exact, not that I was counting or

anything." He smiled and winked at me, which made my insides quiver and feel
warm.

"Oh God… Edward I'm…"

"Shhhh," he said, placing a finger over my lips. "No apologies, okay? It was all my

fault. I should have behaved like the man who loves you instead of an asshole
rapper. I'm a big dickhead, I'll admit it."

Edward's smile didn't reach his eyes. There was a sadness there that I couldn't

quite put my finger on, but I could definitely see it. I tried to keep the mood as light
as possible, though.

- 361 -

"Ummmm… where are we?" I asked, glancing around.

"In our hotel suite in New York." Edward shifted me so that he could hold me

closer and it felt so good to be in his arms. I snuggled into him, trying to get as close
as possible.

"Sooooo…. I've been asleep for seventeen hours and we missed our flight to

Ireland?" I felt like a total and complete ass. All I wanted to do was go to sleep for a
little while, not for seventeen and a half fucking hours.

"It's all taken care of. Don't worry your pretty little head about the details, baby. I

pay other people to do that. I just want you to worry about feeling better, okay?"
Edward was stroking my face, my hair, my arm. His touch was so gentle and so
sincere. He was a completely different man than he had been the night before. I was
ashamed of how I had treated him earlier and for taking those four fucking Ativan to
knock myself out... I must've looked like...

"You thought I OD'd, didn't you?" I blurted out, suddenly realizing what the pain in

his eyes was all about. Fuck, Bella! How could you be so fucking stupid?! Oh God…
Oh God… What the fuck did I do?

Edward's hand cupped my face again. "I told you I didn't want any apologies.

Yeah, I flipped out and thought you OD'd. We were almost to the hospital when Rose
called and said you couldn't have taken any more than four pills. I had Jasper call
Carlisle and he said you'd be fine, that you just needed to sleep it off. So, we came
back here and I just held you and let you sleep all day… and most of the night." He
stopped and chuckled briefly. "You have got to be the cutest thing in the universe
when you're in a drugged up stupor, sleeping."

I giggled at that. I couldn't even begin to imagine how terrifying it must have been

for Edward when he thought I had intentionally overdosed on Ativan, but for him to
think that I was cute when I was sleeping it off was just too much. I reached up to
place my hand on Edward's cheek and he leaned into it, letting his eyes fall closed to
the feel of my touch.

"I love you, Edward. I love you more than my own life. I promise that I will never,

ever, do anything like this again. I promise never to scare you like that again. And I
promise, with all my heart, to love you forever and accept who you are without
question."

We sat there in amicable silence for a while, just drinking each other in. I still felt

really sleepy and apparently, my ass had not slept enough because I dozed off again.

- 362 -

It was morning when I finally really woke up. I opened my eyes and blinked a couple
of times, noticing that the curtains were closed, but this time there was a hint of
light around them. Edward and I were still wrapped around each other and he was
snoring softly. Carefully, I slid out of bed and tip-toed to the bathroom.

When I came out, Edward was lying on his side, his head propped up on his arm,

smiling. "C'mere, baby."

I went to him and he stood to hug me tight. When he released me, the tip of his

finger slid under my chin and he pulled my face up to his, placing one soft kiss on
my lips. "Let's go get breakfast and talk, okay?" I nodded in agreement, ready to
have the last couple of days behind us.

It was a beautiful morning and we went out on the balcony to eat our breakfast. I

had fresh fruit, yogurt, and coffee, while Edward dove into eggs, pancakes, bacon,
toast, fruit, and coffee. We ate in amicable silence, just enjoying the morning and
being together. When we were done, I knew it was time. We had to talk things out. I
hesitated and it gave Edward the time he needed to begin.

"Bella, I'm really concerned about your use of sleeping pills and anxiety pills. I

realize that I acted like a total dick the other night, and I'm truly sorry for that, but I
can't stand by and watch you self- destruct like this."

I twisted my napkin in my lap and stared down at it. He was right, and I knew he

was right. "I'll get rid of them, Edward. I don't need them nearly as much as I need
you. I can live without them," I said uncomfortably. While I believed every word I
had said, putting those words into actions could prove difficult, but all I had to do
was remember the pain in Edward's face the previous night when he had spent so
many hours watching me sleep, worrying about me. The memory of his pained eyes
was all I needed to steel my resolve.

"Look at me, Bella." Edward's voice was firm, but not angry. I looked up at him

and saw the love there, written on his face. "If you need them, I don't have a
problem with that, but I do have a problem with you swallowing four pills because
you're so distraught that you think just going to sleep and avoiding the problem is
the best way to handle it. I can't…" His voice faltered, as did his face. I quickly
interrupted to keep him from having to finish saying aloud what I already knew he
was thinking.

"I know you can't, Edward, and I'm not going to put you through that again. I'm

ashamed of my behavior. I never want to see the hurt I saw in your eyes last night
again because of me." I reached for his hand and held it tightly. "I promise, I will not

- 363 -

allow myself to go down that road. It's not fair to you, it's not fair to me, and it's not
fair to Abby. You and Abby have both been through enough bullshit. I just let things
get out of hand and it won't happen again. I promise, with all my heart." I kept my
eyes on his while I spoke, making sure that I projected every ounce of resolve in my
words and my body language that I felt in my heart.

"I believe you and I trust you to do the right thing, babe. I just hope that when

things get to be too much for you, you'll trust me enough to ask for my help."
Edward's words struck a chord in me. Trust. That single word hit me as if Edward
had just poured a bucket of ice water over my head. Trust. For the first time, it
occurred to me that I might have a problem trusting other people, men in particular.
First there was my dad, then Jacob, then Mike. It was no wonder I didn't trust men.
Edward must have seen the wheels turning in my mind. "What's wrong, Bella?" he
asked with genuine concern.

I stuttered, "I was… I… I was… that word… trust." Edward moved closer to me. "I

just realized that I may have some issues with trusting people. I mean… I know that
I love you, and I trust you, in theory, but…"

Edward chuckled and hugged me. "I have problems with it as well, obviously," he

said with a smirk. I thought back to the night of the party and him flipping out when
I was talking to Marshall. I nodded.

"We need to work on that, I guess, don't we?" Edward agreed immediately and I

felt as though we had our first big breakthrough. We both had trust issues. I thought
about things for a minute and added, "And abandonment. We both have problems
with abandonment."

Edward's face lit up and he nodded vigorously. "Yeah, I think you're right. For me,

it's been since my parents died. I always think that everyone is going to leave me,
including you. I'm sorry."

I was actually excited that we were talking this out and figuring things out. "No,

no, don't be sorry, Edward. We both have a lot of shit we've been through prior to
this relationship. It only stands to reason that it would have a negative affecteffect
on us. The good news is, we're recognizing these things and we can fix them before
they're our undoing!" I hugged Edward with all my might, thrilled that we seemed to
be getting somewhere.

Edward looked thoughtful for a minute, then said, "We need counseling. Both of

us, apart and together. I don't want to lose you, Bella. I'll do whatever it takes."

- 364 -

I smiled before agreeing with him, on all counts. I didn't want to lose him either.

He was undoubtedly my soulmate and we were meant to be together. There was no
other way to explain it. Too many things had to happen to bring us together. I wasn't
about to let anything like bullshit that had happened to both of us in our pasts tear
us apart.

We talked awhile longer, agreeing to seek counseling as soon as the tour was

over, and until then, to make time for us to talk to each other when one or the other
of us was feeling overwhelmed. I really felt good about the resolution of the
situation and was pleased to be able to move forward in our relationship without
fear. We were both struggling with some of the same issues, we just hadn't realized
it ourselves, nor had we shared it with each other. Now that we had, it felt like
things were going to be okay for us.

We headed back to the bedroom, arm in arm, discussing our flight to Ireland

coming up that evening. We needed to get packed and get ready to go, but when we
reached the bedroom, I found that I only had one thing on my mind. I turned to
Edward and kissed his perfect lips, my hands finding their way to his fly to quickly
undo the buttons.

He took over immediately, pushing me over on the bed and crawling on top of me.

His kisses burned, slow and seductive. I found myself breathless and wanting.

After a few minutes of kissing and groping, Edward pressed his groin into me,

letting me feel his length against my center. At the same time, he whispered, "I want
you."

Breathlessly, I whispered back, "I need you."

Our bodies were so in sync with each other that the act of removing our clothing

seemed like a well rehearsed dance. Articles of clothing fell from the bed
effortlessly.

Edward's lips caressed mine with a longing desire and when my lips parted to

allow him entry, his tongue danced inside my mouth sending chills down my spine.

Painfully slowly, Edward moved along my body like a cat. He licked, kissed,

sucked, and caressed every inch of my exposed skin, causing me to feel as though I
was going to explode with desire. When he reached my breasts, he rolled one peak
between his thumb and forefinger while ravishing the other one with his tongue,
lips, and teeth before alternating. Every touch, every kiss, every nip, sent a wave of
heat, scorching through me directly to my core. My hips thrust against him of their

- 365 -

own volition, begging him to move more quickly, but he just kept up the slow burn,
inching his way across my belly, stopping to teasingly dip his tongue inside my belly
button and swirl it around.

My desire for his body was overwhelming me to the point that I was nearly in

tears, begging him to hurry. When one, long finger slid inside me, my first orgasm
exploded all around me, leaving my body in a quivering mass of avidity, wanting, no
demanding, more. I heard him chuckle as he slid another finger inside me and
swirled his tongue across my clit.

"Oh, God, Edward!" I half screamed and half panted as I came again, pushing

myself down on his fingers and pressing myself against his lips.

Satisfied that he had me worked up enough, Edward moved above me and placed

himself at my entrance, staring into my eyes as he entered me slowly, excruciatingly
slowly. I felt every inch of him as he stretched me and my muscles relaxed,
accommodating his size. When he was fully sheathed inside me, he didn't move, just
stared at me with those liquid green eyes of his, a half-smirk on his face.

I stared back up at him, panting, clawing at him with my fingernails. I finally

found my way up to his head and fisted both hands in his coppery hair, feeling my
fingernails brush across his scalp as I pulled him to me. His arms slid around me,
one reaching down to squeeze my ass, as he began to move against me, slowly at
first, but building momentum with each thrust. He buried his face in my neck,
whispering unintelligible words of love and desire in my ear as his tongue caressed
my skin.

My eyes fell closed and I let my mind concentrate on my other senses. I felt the

length of Edward's body pressed to mine, a light sheen of sweat covering us both,
causing us to slide against each other effortlessly. I could feel Edward's length
pulsing inside me, making long, slow strokes in and out. I felt the way my body
gripped at him and pulled him back inside. I concentrated on the building fury in my
core, rising with every touch, every thrust, every whispered word. I smelled our sex
on the air, a dizzying mixture of his scent and mine.

Edward's movements became more insistent, more rapid. I threw my head back

into the pillow and gripped his muscular thighs with my heels, pulling him to me,
begging him to push harder.

"Fuck… Edward… Please…" I begged.

"What do you want, baby, tell me," he panted.

- 366 -

"Harder… Faster…"

Edward growled and kicked it into high gear thrusting hard against me, moaning

aloud with every motion that brought our bodies together. My orgasm approached
like a runaway train. I panted and clawed and writhed against Edward, trying to
make it last, but in the end, I just gave in to the feelings and let my climax wash over
me, taking over my entire being. I screamed out in ecstasy as the first waves hit,
sending me over the edge into oblivion. I was barely aware of Edward's entire body
stiffening before he too cried out, and then filled me with his own climax.

As we lay there together, panting, running our hands over each other's bodies

languidly, I realized that this was exactly where I belonged. I was in Edward's arms
and we were meant to be together. Nothing in my past or his mattered, as long as
we had each other.

I felt the plane losing altitude and sat up, my eyes bleary from sleeping. I was

surprised that I had been able to sleep at all considering I had thrown out my Ativan
and my sleeping pills while packing for Ireland. When I looked out the window of the
plane, the greenest expanse of land I had ever seen laid before me.

Excited, I awakened Edward. "We're almost there!" He grinned and sat up,

looking out the window with me and squeezing my hand.

We landed at the Dublin Airport and made our way through customs and security

in no time. Abby was bouncing excitedly and holding my hand tightly as we found
our transportation and headed to our hotel.

The next several days were like a whirlwind of activity. Edward had a show in

Dublin the day after we arrived. After that, we took a short flight to London to
prepare for his British shows. We were exhausted every night after long days of
sight-seeing and public appearances, so sleep wasn't a problem. Britain was almost
a blur as we had a show in London, then Manchester, Birmingham, and Leeds, as
well as a special trip to Swansea, Wales for a reason that was never really revealed
to me.

After the Leeds show, we moved on to Edinburgh and Glasgow, Scotland, again

trying to cram as much sight-seeing as possible into the short time we had in each
place. Even though the shows were usually more than one day apart, we were more
tired than we had been in the States, simply because we were trying to do more on
the off days than just sleep.

- 367 -

Leaving Scotland behind us, we flew to Norway where Edward had a show in Oslo,

and then to Paris. Paris was lovely, and while I would have liked to have spent more
time there, sadly, we had to move on.

Munich, Cologne, and Berlin, Germany were next, followed by Warsaw, Poland

and Rome, Italy.

The Rome show was great fun and the Italian fans were great. I did have the

oddest feeling when some of the fans showed up backstage though. Something
about them was… off. They were all beautiful, even more beautiful than Rosalie,
which is something in and of itself, but they were all pale with the oddest color of
eyes. They were all incredibly kind and didn't stay long. The ladies in the group each
asked Edward for an autograph and pictures, which he willingly provided, and after
that, they all just sort of… disappeared. It was almost unnerving in a way that I
couldn't quite put my finger on, but none of them jumped out from a dark corner
when we left or anything, so I put them out of my mind.

Somewhere in the mass confusion of traveling around Europe, my birthday had

come and gone without a thought by either Edward or me. Abby's birthday,
however, was coming up, and we were desperate to do something special for her. Of
course, Rhianne was already a step ahead, having planned Abby's birthday as a day
off from touring so we could spend the day with her.

It so happened that Abby's birthday would fall when we arrived for our Australian

leg of the tour. Sydney seemed like it would be a perfect place to celebrate.

When we left Rome, we flew to Johannesburg, South Africa for a show there, and

from there we flew to Sydney.

We were met at the airport in Sydney by thousands of screaming fans. Edward

had told me he was big in Australia, but I had no idea. We found ourselves in a sea
of fans screaming for autographs, but mostly they just wanted to touch Edward.

We got settled in our hotel and rested up as the next day was the big birthday

party. I let Abby stay with us that night, wanting her to feel close to her family for
her birthday and less like she was luggage, which is the feeling I got that she felt
like sometimes.

The morning of Abby's birthday, I woke up early and ordered in breakfast. I got

out a couple of her presents for her to open at breakfast, took my shower, woke
Edward up, and when we were ready, we awakened Abby.

- 368 -

Abby sprang out of bed and ran to the table, excited that there were five candles

in her French toast. I giggled watching her as she blew out the candles and tore
through her presents. It was the perfect start to her special day.

We took Abby to the beach, the aquarium, and Luna Park. We let her have

whatever she wanted that day, and rounded it off with a nice dinner and birthday
cake with everyone traveling with us. Abby was so exhausted that after she ate her
cake and opened the rest of her presents, she fell asleep in my lap and I carried her
up to our room to put her to bed.

Edward and I sat down to watch a movie after Abby was settled in and he

surprised me with a gift of my own. It was a stunning diamond necklace that he had
designed himself and I shook my head in amazement at how he ever found time to
have these pieces made without my knowledge. Not only that, but how he managed
to get the necklace delivered to him in Australia.

"I know that we didn't celebrate your birthday, baby, and I just wanted to make

sure you didn't feel left out."

He was something else, my Edward. I just smiled and threw my arms around him,

lavishing him with kisses. We were back to our usual selves, and I was loving every
minute of it. We were also very close to being done with the tour, and I couldn't
wait. I just wanted to be home.

End Note: See? Everything was just fine. Thanks to all of you for trusting me and

bearing with me while we made our way through that mess. :)

We are picking up several passengers on the Vixen Jet in Australia and we have a

special trip we have to make to Longreach in the Australian Outback because I
promised a certain someone that we would. ;) So Vixens... fuel the jet and review!

- 369 -

Completion

A/N: Hi everyone! Thanks for hanging around and waiting for me to post this

chapter. Rather than making excuses, I'm just going to say, "Sorry. Unfortunately I
DO have a life, and it sucks sometimes. :)"

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer may own her version of these characters, but I own

this version. Please don't mess with either of our shit.

Edward

The final show. As I stood in the darkness beneath the stage awaiting the riser to

take me up, I could hear the sounds of the crowd. Stomping. Clapping. Screaming.
The sound was so deafening that it vibrated within my chest. It was the first time in
a long time that I had even paid attention; listened to them chanting my name.

Velvet… Velvet… Velvet…

The heaviness of the bass began to thump and I was bathed in the lights filtering

through the hole in the stage floor. I listened as the noise from the crowd rose in
intensity and then began to ease as the sound of Curtis's voice boomed from the
banks of speakers on either side of the stage.

I was exhausted and glad it was to be my last performance of the tour. Bella and

Abby had flown home from New Zealand because Abby had a fever and sore throat.
Bella couldn't bear the thought of sending her home sick with Mary, so she had gone
with them. It was bitter-sweet when she left. While I was thrilled that she wanted to
take care of my little girl, I knew I would miss her for the last few weeks of the tour.

The voices of my other guys joined with Curtis and it was my cue to begin. I took a

deep breath and started talking into the mike as the riser took me up to the stage
and to my faithful fans. As I walked on stage, I left thoughts of my exhaustion behind
me, along with thoughts of loneliness due to Bella and Abby's absence.

Later, on the flight home however I couldn't get them off my mind. It was going to

be evening when I arrived and I couldn't wait to get there. I wanted my Bella in my
arms again. As the jet reached cruising altitude, I let my mind drift back to some of
the recent events and the aftermath.

- 370 -

Bella had scared the ever-livin' shit out of me when she pulled that stunt with the

damned Ativan. I felt like I was having a heart attack as the fear gripped my chest
when I thought she had OD'd. Thank God Rosalie had discovered that Bella couldn't
have taken any more than four pills and not a whole fucking bottle. Waiting for her
to wake up was excruciating at best. So many thoughts echoed through my mind
during those seventeen hours of hell.

I knew that Bella and I would need to talk when she woke up, and not just about

her usage of the pills in an inappropriate manner, either. I had behaved like a
fucking dick. No doubt about it. My comparison of Bella to Tanya had been not only
a low blow, but highly inflammatory in nature.

I wished that I could go back to that night and take it all back. Every bit of it.

Starting with leaving Bella on her own. Sure, it was a working party for me, but had
I really been working? Fuck no. I was drinking. I was socializing. I was talking to
people that I rarely got to see with no thought whatsoever about what was to
become of Bella that night.

When she finally awoke, and we talked, I noticed something. Bella was so focused

on her own mistake that she completely neglected to discuss mine with me. I let it
go for awhile, thinking that maybe she had forgotten, but a couple of days later, my
guilt overtook me and I brought it up. Of course, I knew that Bella had already
forgiven me, but I had to say the words. It was just… I just needed to.

We were on the train from Dublin to Waterford when I finally brought it up. It

seemed like the right place and time. We were alone, sort of, and were watching the
Irish countryside out the window of the train. I had wanted to take Bella to
Waterford to buy her some crystal. She didn't seem to really know the significance
of Waterford crystal, but I made it my mission to change that.

"I shouldn't have left you alone," I said quietly as she looked out the window. She

turned to me, her features soft, her eyes heavy with emotion.

"Forget it, Edward. I have," was her simple reply before she turned back to the

window and squeezed my hand.

"Bella… I've not forgotten, nor will I. I need you to know how sorry I am for

leaving you alone and for overreacting… and for the picture in the newspaper, and
for the media shitstorm over me carrying you out of the hotel like that. That kind of
shit can fuck us over, and I don't want it to, and I'm sorry." Bella had turned back to
look at me as I spoke, and her soft, forgiving eyes caused me to almost choke on my
words. I had never really been one to apologize, but this time, I knew I had to make

- 371 -

it good, or I might never have another opportunity to make things right with her.

Her eyebrow raised. "Media shitstorm?"

Fuck.

"Uh… you could say that."

"What media shitstorm? Did I miss something?"

Only every newspaper, magazine, and entertainment 'news' broadcast in the last

96 hours…

"Apparently the entire western world went berserk when snapshots of me running

out of the hotel, in nothing but jeans, carrying you passed out, hit the news."

"Fuck, Edward! That kind of shit could ruin your career! What the hell were you

thinking?"

"I was thinking you were dying and needed to get to a hospital and fast!"

"l'm sorry you thought that. I… I don't know what else to say, Edward. I'm trying. I

am." Bella's eyes dropped to her lap and she looked uncomfortable and sad. I hated
it.

"Bella! This isn't about you and what you did, baby. This is about me and my part

in all this."

"Sorry," she mumbled.

"Bella, look… My behavior after the VMAs was deplorable and I'm really truly

terribly sorry. I want you to know that I vow to you, right here and now, as sure as
I'm alive, it will never ever happen again." I had to make her understand how sorry I
was and get her to quit focusing all the blame on herself. It amazed me that she
couldn't put her own shortcoming aside long enough to see mine. I didn't deserve
her.

"I know that, Edward. I know. Please stop worrying about it. It was a hiccup, a

bump in the road. We'll move on and forget about this… someday."

I watched her as she stared out the window. Soft rain was falling outside and it

was no wonder why the Irish countryside was so green. It rained almost daily; in

- 372 -

fact, I had never been there when it wasn't raining. We rode along in silence for a
few more minutes until Bella started talking again, but without looking at me. She
remained staring out the window. It was unusual for Bella not to look at me when
talking, but I hoped that it was only because she was marveling at Ireland passing
by her window.

"I don't think Alice is a good choice for my assistant." Bella's voice was soft and

full of contemplation. I didn't answer immediately. I wanted to see what else she had
to say about the matter. Plus, I was pleased with the change of subject, to tell the
truth.

"I'd rather her remain my friend than be my employee," she continued, finally

turning to look at me. I nodded back. I tended to agree with her. It seemed like a
really good idea at the time, but after the party, it seemed as though Alice was more
centered on her own business than taking care of Bella. As much as I hated the
thought of searching for a personal assistant for Bella, I didn't want to ruin her
friendship with Alice over something like that.

"I think Rhianne can handle things until we get done with the tour, okay?" Bella

nodded in agreement.

I felt much better after our talk on the train and things seemed to even out after

that. I knew that Bella was still hurt by the whole thing, and I was too, but it wasn't
devouring my thoughts like it had been before.

The weeks had passed in a blur and before I knew it we were celebrating Abby's

birthday in Sydney, Australia. I was looking at the tour schedule following the
Sydney dates and realized that we were almost done. Although we had about a
month to go, with travel and down-time, we only had about 12 shows left.

We took a special daytrip out to Longreach by plane before heading back to

Brisbane for a show there, followed by a show in Melbourne. I fucking loved my
Australian fans. My fans all over the world were fucking awesome, but there was
just something about being in Australia. I felt badly that they had to get us towards
the end of the tour because I knew my energy wasn't up to the standards that it was
at the beginning, but truthfully, I was just tired as fuck. I found myself sleeping
more and more during travel and in between shows and knew that it was a good
thing that the tour was almost over. It had been a long six months with a hell of a lot
of shit going down. I found myself ready to be on my way home, but I had to give my
love to my fans all over the world, not just at home.

Leaving Australia was bittersweet and we waved goodbye to the throngs of fans

- 373 -

that showed up at the airport to send us off when we left Melbourne for
Queenstown, New Zealand.

New Zealand was beautiful, but our time there was too short. I could see the

exhaustion was starting to wear on everyone. Abby was fighting a sore throat and
Bella was really concerned about her.

"She's exhausted, Edward. We've got to send her home. She can't do another

month of this. All this traveling is taking its toll." Abby was asleep on our bed in
between us, burning up with a fever. Bella had a cool washcloth on Abby's neck and
had been giving her medicine around the clock to try to keep the fever down. She
had taken the initiative to call Carlisle and ask him what to do for her and hadn't left
Abby's side since she started getting sick.

I looked over the schedule and knew that Bella was right. Abby didn't need to

travel with us to Hong Kong, Bangkok, Tokyo, Honolulu, and Rio de Janiero. I called
Rhianne and Mary and started making arrangements to send her home. I just
couldn't subject my little girl to anymore touring.

Bella walked into the living area of our hotel suite behind me, looking anxious.

Rhianne and Mary were both on their way to our room, so I asked her what was up.

"I don't know, Edward. I feel like… I… I think…" Bella eyes dropped to her hands

that were wringing in front of her.

I chucked her on the chin and smiled. "What is it, baby? Just spit it out."

"I think I should go with her," Bella said quickly, again looking away.

It surprised me. My first thought was that Bella didn't want to be with me, but I

immediately realized that wasn't the case. Bella didn't want to send Abby home with
just Mary, even though she trusted Mary and knew Mary would take care of her,
Bella felt a need to be with her. I wrapped my arms around Bella and pulled her to
me, hugging her to my chest. I didn't deserve her. She was too good for the likes of
me.

"If that's what you feel compelled to do, I won't stand in your way, Bella. I'm not

going to argue with you about Abby needing her mom when she's sick. Why were
you afraid to tell me?"

"I was afraid you'd think I was pussing out on the tour," she mumbled against my

chest.

- 374 -

I chuckled and kissed the top of her head. "Never, baby. I'll miss you terribly, but

I'm honored to have someone that loves my little girl as much as I do and is willing
to sacrifice to take care of her."

The next morning, I put my girls on the plane home. I was nervous as fuck about

it, but knew it was the right thing to do. Bella looked wiped out, too, along with
Mary. Abby was miserable and whining. She cried when Bella took her out of my
arms and handed her to Mary before kissing me as though she'd never see me again.

"Three weeks, baby, I'll be home in three weeks," I whispered to her, trying to

remind her that it wasn't an eternity, even though I already missed the shit out of
her.

Bella sniffled and wiped away the tears that had spilled down her cheeks. "I know.

I'll miss you."

I smiled at her and patted her ass as she turned to leave. She smirked over her

shoulder at me and said, "I'll be waiting for you," before she took off down the
Jetway.

That smirk was the look I had on my mind as my plane touched down in Chicago. I

was a little pissed off that I couldn't just have the plane land at my fucking house,
but I made up for it by having a helicopter pick me up at the airport. I didn't want to
deal with riding in a car for forty-five minutes before I could be home.

I boarded the helicopter and saluted the pilot before he lifted off and buzzed

towards the house. Fortunately, I had a large enough estate that landing there
wasn't a problem. I even had a helipad in the back forty. As soon as the chopper
touched down, I had the door open and was out, moving quickly towards the house.

The back doors opened and there were my best girls waiting for me. Abby ran

across the patio screaming, "Daddy's home!" and it warmed my heart so much.

Bella leaned against the door frame with a smile. I swooped Abby up in my arms

and rushed past the pool to meet my Bella with a kiss. Never had I been so happy to
be home from a tour in my life.

The next few days, I spent the majority of my time either asleep or just hanging

out with the girls. Bella had given Mary some vacation time to spend with her family
and we had given Rhianne some vacation time as well, so it was just us, and I loved

- 375 -

every damn minute of it. Bella had even given the house staff vacation so she did all
the cooking, laundry and cleaning the first couple of weeks that I was home. As
much as I hated seeing her do shit like that, Bella seemed to be more than happy to
do it, and our lives were great. It was the first time since I had been a kid at home
with Carlisle and Esme that I really felt like a part of a family, and not only that, it
was my family.

Somewhere around ten days after I arrived home, I was starting to feel halfway

human again. At least I was getting out of bed before noon and not having to take a
nap every afternoon just to be able to be awake in the evening.

It was the week of Thanksgiving and Bella had been on the phone with my mother

making plans to have Thanksgiving dinner at our house, something that had never
happened before. We were to be joined by Alice, Jasper, Rose, and Emmett, as well
as Rhianne, Chris, Brad, and Jon and his wife. I was really excited for the holidays
for once and couldn't wait to go Christmas shopping for Abby with Bella.

Wednesday before Thanksgiving found me in the kitchen with Bella, helping her

bake pies and casseroles. She was impressed that I knew my way around the kitchen
and I realized I had never really cooked for her.

"Why didn't you tell me you could cook?" She batted her eyelashes at me and

smiled as I rolled out pie crust.

"It's just one of my many hidden talents that you have yet to discover," I smirked

back.

I told her that Esme had been largely responsible for teaching me to cook when I

was growing up, telling me that a man who could cook was invaluable as a husband.
Unfortunately, I had found out just how much it was a skill I needed when Tanya and
I married and I found out she could burn boiling water. I had done the majority of
the cooking during our marriage. Well, when I was home anyway.

Thursday morning, Bella was up at four in the morning putting the bird in the

oven. I tried to get up and help her but she laughed and shoved me back in bed.

"There's a lot of things I'll let you do in my kitchen, but the Thanksgiving turkey

isn't one of them. Your job this morning is to watch the parade with Abby and keep
her busy while I finish up."

I laughed and grabbed her, pulling her back into the bed on top of me. "That's not

the only job I have." I placed a kiss on her nose, each of her eyelids, and her lips.

- 376 -

She giggled.

"I've got to go put the turkey in, Edward." She kissed me again.

"I don't think ten minutes of cuddling is going to make dinner late," I whispered

while kissing her and holding her tight.

That day, I realized that everything in my life was perfect. I had a wife who loved

me no matter what, a beautiful daughter who was all mine, wonderful friends and
family surrounding me, and for the first time since EC Velvet was born, I didn't feel
a single pang of loneliness on the holiday.

Bella and I shopped on Black Friday. That was an experience I wasn't sure I

wished to repeat. People are fucking crazy that day! I was pretty sure I was going to
have to knock the fuck out of a few whiny bitches that were pissed off because my
wife was a more aggressive shopper than they were.

The next week, Bella and I started therapy. It sucked ass. Big time. Not that I

minded doing it, because I knew we had to, but that didn't make it any easier or any
fun. At all. Both of us were a bit on the sullen side when we came home from our
first joint session. We had homework to do and it meant opening wounds that
neither of us particularly wanted to dredge up, but we knew that for our future to
work, we both had to deal with our collective pasts.

It was also that week that I got the call that the record company wanted to make a

deal with me regarding my new label. They wanted to be the "corporate sponsor" of
my label. I deferred them to Demetri so that we could make a deal. I wanted to do it
on my own, but having a parent company wasn't such a bad thing. I would be
guaranteed to be left alone to take my own creative license with my recordings, and
that was all that mattered to me.

On our return to therapy, it seemed like we were taking three steps backwards to

take one step forward. I was sitting back on the couch with my eyes closed, listening
to Bella talk to Heidi when her words made my eyes jerk open and caused me to sit
straight up.

"I'm not good enough for him."

"Bella!" I shouted before I could even think.

Bella turned slowly around to look at me. "What, Edward? It's true, I'm not."

- 377 -

I was incredulous. What the hell she could be thinking was beyond me. "There is

absolutely nothing that is further from the damned truth, Bella. If anything, I'm not
good enough for you."

I looked to Heidi for help with the situation and she nodded to me slightly. "Bella,

why do you feel that you're not good enough for him?"

"I don't know anything about this life that he leads. I'm not strong enough to face

all this on my own. I'm just a plain girl from a plain life and he deserves something
better." Tears began to slide down Bella's cheeks. I had no idea that her self esteem
was so terribly damaged. She sure did hide it well. It saddened me to think that the
self-confidence she always exuded was nothing more than an act.

Heidi leaned towards Bella and looked her in the eye. "Love knows no boundaries,

Bella. If he says you're good enough for him, then that should be all you need to
know. If you can't accept that, then you have work that you need to do on your own.
Why is your self esteem so low?"

Bingo. Heidi hit the nail on the head and Bella began to sob uncontrollably. I put

my arm around her to try and comfort her but she pulled away from me.

"Come on, Bella. Please? What brought this on?" Things had been going so well

for us and I couldn't imagine what I had done to bring this out in her.

Bella blew her nose and turned to face me. "Nothing brought this on, Edward. I

feel like I've been living a dream the last several months. One of these days
somebody's going to pinch me and I'm going to wake up in Seattle in my apartment
with Mike and it's all going to be over. I'll be back to the submissive little piece of
shit who waited on him hand and foot to keep him from beating the shit out of me
and putting me in the hospital." She jumped to her feet and started across the room
before turning on me and yelling, "You'll just dump me when you're through with me
so why don't you get after it and do it now?!"

It felt like she had plunged a knife into my heart. I could hear the blood rushing

through my ears and I couldn't breathe. It was the most horrible feeling in the world
to think that she really thought that I could ever leave her. I was gasping for breath
and wondering what the hell to do when Heidi stood and walked between Bella and
me.

"Bella, you can't possibly think that's true. Can't you see how your words have

affected Edward?" Heidi took a step towards Bella and Bella took a step backwards.

- 378 -

"It is true. I can feel it. He's going to disappear on me!" Bella continued to sob and

my mind continued to reel. I wanted to take her in my arms and tell her everything
would be alright, but I knew she would never believe me right then.

"He's not going anywhere, Bella. Why do you think this is a dream?" Heidi's voice

remained completely calm as she tried to diffuse Bella's emotions. Bella turned to
look out the window and silence fell across the room like a veil. The only sounds
were each of our breathing. The sky outside was gloomy and grey, just like the mood
in Heidi's office. Soft as a whisper, Bella began to speak.

"I'm nothing. I'm a plain girl from a plain town. The daughter of a police chief and

a mother who cares so little about me that she doesn't even know I'm married. No
one has ever really cared about me. The only person who did, my gran, died.
Nothing exciting has ever happened to me. I don't even know why I wrote that
letter. All it did was bring me something that would just break my heart again."
Tears rolled down my cheeks as I watched Bella's sobs wrack her body. Heidi took
another step towards her.

"You're afraid that he'll abandon you, just like everyone else you've ever cared for

has done in some way or another." Bella nodded and sobbed, dropping her face into
her hands.

"Bella, none of those things were your fault. You need to understand that all those

people you loved who abandoned you, did so because of their own issues, not
because of anything you did." I stood, because I really wanted to go to Bella and
hold her, but Heidi put her hand out to stop me.

Bella sniffled. "But if I had been better, none of them would have left me, and

Edward wouldn't leave me either."

It was as though I wasn't even there anymore. She was just talking about me as

though I was somewhere else. It hurt so damn bad, but I knew that these were
issues she needed to deal with, and I reminded myself that I knew none of it was
true.

After that day, therapy got easier. I came clean with every dirty little secret of my

past, and Bella got past her fear that I was going to leave her. It was hard work, but
worth every tear we spilled over it.

My studio was completed in January, just in time for me to start recording again. I

kept the smaller studio in my basement just for the hell of it. After the night of
passion that Bella and I had shared in there, I couldn't bear to tear it out and make

- 379 -

something else of it.

Recording was the other part of my job that was excruciatingly busy. I was glad to

have the studio at home because it gave Bella and Abby the opportunity to actually
see me while I was recording a new album. Otherwise, I would have been in
California and they would either have had to come there to see me, or I would have
had to fly home every weekend.

As it was, Bella had no idea how much work recording an album involved. She

spent countless hours sitting in the mixing booth watching and listening as we
recorded, mixed, scrapped, recorded again… She was a great support and it made it
so much easier for me to have her there.

Bella finally realized during that time what I meant by never having a "normal"

schedule. It came to her attention that we usually didn't get into the studio and get
going good until four or five in the afternoon. We would work until three… four…
five in the morning, sleep, and then do it all over again. The only day I would take off
was Sunday, and that was because my mother insisted come hell or high water that
we have Sunday dinner at her place while I was home.

As the recording went on and on, Bella began to busy herself with other things

rather than sitting in the studio watching and listening for endless hours. She was
beginning to have requests for interviews and stuff and Rhianne had finally decided
that she was able to keep up with both of us. Bella wasn't too interested in doing too
many public appearances without me anyway.

After four straight months in the studio, I decided to take a little break. It was

fortunate that I picked that particular time to do it because it was then that Bella's
first interview was to air on MTV during a special about me. Alice, Rose, Jasper, and
Emmett came over to watch, along with my parents, Rhianne, and several of the
guys from the group. Bella was extremely embarrassed by all the attention, but I
kept trying to tell her that she fucking deserved it. It was her turn to have a little of
the attention on her and if she didn't like it, too damn bad. As it came time for the
interview, we all sat around the big flat screen. When the first picture of Bella came
on the screen, Abby started screaming, "Daddy, look! Mommy's on TV!!"

End Note: *sniffle* There is only one chapter left before the Epilogue. I know... I

know... I'm sad, too. In light of the fact that our journey with Velvet is almost over,
leave him a review? Please?

- 380 -

My most humble thanks to Lillie, who is my rock, and my fucktabulous beta. Also,

many thanks to Eyes of Topaz for pre-beta'ing these last several chapters. Thanks to
LolaRose, MilitzaG, JustBiteMePlease, Lead69, LazyKate, Nan McCullen,
Squalloogal, kuntrygal, and mymunkyman for all of their words of encouragement,
love, and being my shoulder to cry on in addition to Lillie and Eyes of Topaz when
their shoulders got too damp, or I felt too guilty for all the whining.

Most of all, thanks to all of my wonderful readers and fans who've stuck by me

this past year as I've taken this journey. I love you all. Thank you for every review,
PM, Tweet, GChat, thought, smile, and whatever else I might have forgotten to
mention along the way.

Also, a huge thanks to whoever nominated "The Letter" for "The Faithful Shipper

Awards." Also, my collaborative story with Lillie Cullen, "In the Heat of the Night"
was nominated for a "Silent Tear" award. I'm so honored to have been nominated.

Now... Time to thank Velvet for a lovely journey. This was the last chapter in his

POV.

- 381 -

Epilogue

A/N: Well... I thought there would be one more chapter before we came to the

Epilogue, but as it turns out, there wasn't. I want to thank every single one of my
readers for sticking with this story throughout the last year it has taken to write it.
Without all of you, I would not be. I never would have finished had it not been for
the support of my readers and friends, and especially My Lillie. More than Romeo,
darlin'.

Disclaimer: Many thanks to the Goddess that is Stephenie Meyer for creating

this universe and allowing us to play in it.

Bella

The day of the interview, Edward was upstairs asleep. He had been in the studio

until after five that morning. The MTV crew was set to arrive at eight, so I knew he
wouldn't be up yet. Rhianne had promised to be there for moral support for me, as
well as Alice and Rose.

When I got up, I had gone to my dressing room and put on the outfit that Alice

helped me pick out for the interview. It was simple. Jeans, sneakers, and a dark blue
blouse. She had said something about the midnight blue going well with my skin
tone, or some such bullshit. I never knew with her. I just went with it because she
always seemed to know what was best.

I watched as they set up the lights and cameras, choosing the best spot in our

living room to hold the interview. I was nervous as hell and wanted it to be over, but
I knew I had a long row ahead. The producers had told Rhianne to have me prepared
for an all day affair. They would interview me, take a tour of the house and the
grounds, do some shooting of me with Abby and Edward, and speak with Edward
briefly, but the show wasn't necessarily about him, it was about the families of
superstars and how they coped. I wasn't sure I was a good example of that, being so
new to everything, but I was willing. Rhianne had said it would be good for Edward's
career and for us as a family, so I went with it.

Finally, it came time for the interview and I was grateful that the interviewer

made me feel so at ease.

"Hi, Bella. You ready for this?" she asked with a smile.

- 382 -

"Um, yeah, I guess." I noticed I was wringing my hands in my lap and consciously

tried to stop. It wasn't working.

"No need to be nervous. We're going to go ahead and get the cameras rolling.

Don't worry, only the best parts will be on the air, not the nervous parts." I chuckled
at that and wondered if there would be any footage good enough to air.

The questions weren't hard for me to answer, like I thought they would be. In fact,

it was really easy.

"So, Bella, this series is about the families of superstars and how they cope with

the superstardom and everything that goes with it. The first thing I'd like to ask you
is how you and Edward met."

I detailed how I had written Edward the fan letter, his response, our subsequent

correspondence, and the day we met. The words just flowed out of me more easily
than I could have imagined.

Next, the interviewer asked about the hardships of being on tour and how it

affected our new relationship. I laughed and relaxed before I started to answer that
one.

"Being on tour is… crazy. I could never have imagined all of the thought and

planning that went into it, let alone the difficulties involved in hauling that many
people and equipment all over the world in such a short amount of time. Honestly,
some days you wake up and wonder where the hell you are."

"Of course, my decision to go with Edward on tour was pretty heat of the moment

and I had no freaking idea what I was getting myself into. Although, it's possible that
had I known, I might not have gone."

"You just can't even know what it's like until you've been there and done it. I

mean, driving all over the country in a bus, even though Edward and I had one to
ourselves, it didn't make it any easier because you couldn't just stop and get out
whenever you wanted. If you wanted to do sightseeing, it had to be planned. And
then there were the 'disguises'," I added with a hearty laugh.

Overall, I was really pleased with the interview, and the night that the show was

to air on MTV, I was more disgusted with Edward for inviting the entire world over
to watch it than I was embarrassed by everyone seeing it.

Several times throughout the hour long program, Edward squeezed my hand or

- 383 -

kissed it, and he had so much love in his eyes for me.

Apparently, I said some really funny shit, because several times the whole room

broke into laughter, too. I didn't know I was that damned funny.

After the show was over, and everyone had gone home, Edward took me to our

room and made love to me for hours. His kisses were reverent and his touch on my
skin left a trail of fire wherever he moved his hands. It had always been that way…
and as far as I knew, it always would.

It took Edward eight months to finish his album. He had invested so much time

and energy into it, that he was exhausted when he was done. I knew that since the
album was done, that meant it would be time to start planning a new tour, which I
had some really mixed feelings about.

While going out on tour with Edward again would be exciting and fun, it would

also be exhausting and taxing on us and our relationship. It was no wonder that
rockstars and actors had so much trouble staying married with the schedules that
they keep. I just wasn't sure I was ready for all that again.

Of course, Edward was ever vigilant, making sure that I was able to participate in

all the planning. We shortened his tour schedule a little from the last one, making
sure to keep as many dates as possible without being on the road for six months.

Abby started Kindergarten so we also had to make sure that her schooling went

with her. The days of having a little one to travel with who had no responsibilities
other than eating and sleeping were over. For the most part, I planned to work with
Abby on her school work, but when I couldn't do it, Mary was always available to
pick up my slack.

Therapy. Therapy fucking sucked ass. I hated every fucking minute of it until I

started realizing that I had one hell of a lot of insecurities where Edward was
concerned that were totally unfounded. After three months of going to sessions
twice a week, we had a great breakthrough. As we climbed into the Ferrari
afterwards, Edward turned to me and just sat there, staring.

Finally paranoid, I asked, "Is something wrong?"

His response was soft. "No, absolutely nothing. I'm just letting myself feel how

much I love you for a minute. Is that okay?"

I turned to look into his piercing green eyes and we just sat there quietly, drinking

- 384 -

each other in, for the longest time. We were communicating with each other silently.
It was amazing. It was the defining moment in our relationship. His eyes spoke to
me and warmed my heart. With a simple look and a gentle touch, he made me
realize just how loved I truly was.

And it was with that one moment, that one small hitch in time, that I let

everything go. I let go of everything and allowed myself to be loved, wanted, needed.
Edward was, and would always be, everything to me.

When the magic lifted, Edward smiled and leaned over the console to kiss me

gently before starting the car and roaring away from Heidi's office and down Lake
Shore Drive towards the apartment.

We ran inside giggling like teenagers, yanking our clothes off and stringing them

all over the floor.

Every touch and every kiss felt like our first time together, maybe because I finally

let down all of my barriers that were there to protect me from being hurt, and let
myself feel the love and respect that Edward had for me.

Slowly, over the next months, I transformed, somewhat. I found myself immersed

in the hip-hop world. My vocabulary went from being a prissy English Lit professor's
language, to sounding like a sailor on leave after months at sea. I had to really start
watching myself around Abby so that she didn't say 'fuck' every other word like I
did.

I became closer with Esme and Carlisle, enjoying our Sunday dinners together,

even if Edward did bitch about it all the time. Esme was a little on the controlling
side and Edward didn't handle it well. It was understandable, to a certain extent. I
learned to manipulate them both into getting along better and for that, Carlisle was
eternally grateful that his wife and son weren't bickering all the time.

The next few years felt like a record on repeat. Tour, record, tour, record, tour,

record… it was an endless cycle. Abby was growing up right under our noses and
was becoming quite the beautiful young lady.

Fortunately for us, we never had as many problems in the next few years

combined as we did in that first year. It was a damn good thing, too, or we may
never have made it.

The interviewer had asked me how the hectic pace of our lives made it easier or

harder for us to stay together. At the time of the interview, I thought it made things

- 385 -

harder, but later on I realized that it really made things easier, for us anyway. The
busier we were, the more we were in tune to each other's needs. It was strange in a
way. On the rare occasions that we had down time, it almost made us drift apart
somewhat. Almost.

"You comin' to bed, baby?" Edward's voice broke through my reverie, bringing me

back to the present. I turned to him and smirked.

"Yeah, I'm comin'." I stood up from where I had been sitting staring out the

window.

My fucking house. Fuck yes. I got so caught up in the memories from the last few

years that I almost forgot we were home.

The exhaustion was overwhelming me and I walked into the bedroom to see

Edward lying naked, sprawled across our huge bed, with his shock of coppery hair in
stark contrast with the pristine white sheets. His eyes were closed and he looked
almost angelic. Of course, I laughed out loud at that, because Edward is about as far
away from angelic as a person can get. He rolled over on his side and propped his
head up on his arm. "What's funny, babe?"

God I love that fucking smirk.

"I was just standing here thinking how angelic you looked laying there with your

eyes closed, and then realized that was about as far from the fucking truth as it
could be," I told him as I crossed the room and started taking off my jewelry and
putting it on the dresser.

Edward chuckled and yawned. "You gonna shower first?"

"God yes, I feel fucking disgusting." I went into the bathroom and turned on the

water, quickly stepping into the shower and letting the hot water from the eight
shower heads flow over me.

Six years of Edward in my bed. Six years of touring, being in the recording studio,

going to awards shows and movie premieres, it was all wearing on me and I was
starting to feel old. As I washed my body, I had memories of Edward on every part of
me. I ran my soapy hands across my belly and stopped at the level of my womb. My
fruitless, worthless womb. Four miscarriages. It was yet another reason for me to
feel inadequate for Edward, but he had always maintained that he loved me
regardless of my ability to bear him more children. I winced and moved on.

- 386 -

After my shower, I pulled one of Edward's t-shirts over my head and headed for

the bedroom. I paused to watch Edward as he snored softly in the bed. So fucking
hot and all mine.

I turned towards the mantle and took in the items sitting there. A photograph of

Charlie, with lots of grey hair, but smiling with his arm around his new wife Sue was
the first thing to catch my eye. I ran my fingers over the glass and smiled. It was so
good to see him happy. I moved on to the photo of Carlisle and Esme, both glowing
with happiness. I gently touched the glass on that photo before moving on to the
next.

It was a family portrait of Rose and Emmett with their two beautiful blonde haired

children, Sydney and Ethan. I chuckled to myself about Sydney's namesake, because
of course, that's where she was conceived. They always called me Aunt Bella and I
did my best to spoil them as rotten as I could. Well, okay, Rose and Em did a hell of
a good job spoiling them all to hell, but I tried to contribute anytime I could. I
couldn't wait to see them.

The next picture on our mantle was a family portrait of Edward, Abby, and me. It

was nearly time for a new one. Abby had grown so much since that one had been
taken the year before. I smiled seeing her sitting on Edward's lap and holding my
hand. She has always been so attached to us. I couldn't believe how beautiful she
was growing up to be.

I moved on to the photo of Alice and Jasper. Alice, as always, looked like a

Mexican jumping bean about to jump off the table. You could almost see her
bouncing around between photos. Jasper looked handsome and sinister in his black
silk Italian fitted suit. I shook my head and was anxious to see them again as well. It
had been too long.

Renee and Phil were next on the mantle. They were somewhere in Mexico when

that picture was taken. Phil was playing Mexican league baseball since he wasn't
able to play in the majors in the U.S. At least they looked happy.

The last thing sitting on our mantle was a wrinkled, well-worn piece of paper in a

frame. I picked it up and stared at it briefly. There it was. The thing that made all of
this happen for me. The Letter.

Fin

- 387 -

FGB Outtake 1 Melbourne, Aus

A/N: Hi everyone! No, I've not fallen off the face of the earth, just been really

really really really...(you get the picture?) busy! This is the first of two Fandom Gives
Back outtakes for The Letter. Be forewarned: NSFW! And if you're squeamish about
certain sexual acts... proceed with caution... this is NAUGHTY! Definitely NOT for
those under 18. I have REALLY enjoyed writing Velvet again, and this outtake
happens to be in Velvet POV. Thanks to those who donated to FGB so that I would
write this. I can't think of a better cause for the money to have gone to! Special
thanks to LazyKate and Eyes of Topaz for pinch beta'ing this outtake for me. Miss
Lillie - I love you more than my own life. LolaRosa, MilitzaG, justbitemeplease,
LazyKate, Eyes of Topaz, and Lead69, thanks for being "my girls." I couldn't do any
of this without the support of all of my "besties."

Disclaimer: I think we've covered this, but I don't own Twilight, in case you

didn't know. I do own this story, all of my OCs, and most importantly, I own Velvet. I
don't share. Keep your damn hands off him. :)

Velvet

"Get me off this motherfucking stage right fucking now!" I thought as I glanced

over to the side of the stage and saw Bella standing there in that fucking outfit
again.

Fuck. Why did she wear that?

She probably didn't have a fucking clue how fucking hot she looked in that little

number with the tiny, short skirt.

I just want to bend her over the… oh fuck… gotta rap…

Melbourne, Australia. The crowd was amazing. The Vixens were out in rare form.

And I couldn't fucking concentrate for shit because Bella was wearing that damned
"fuck me" skirt, blouse, and heels.

As soon as I could get off the stage before the encore, I hauled ass. I grabbed

Bella, who giggled madly, and made my way through the door of the dressing room
and slammed it.

- 388 -

"I can't wait 'til after the show," I breathed as I shoved one hand up her skirt, "I've

gotta have you right… (wet) fucking… (slick) now!" My fingers plunged inside her
and she nearly lost her footing. I slammed her back against the door and attacked
her mouth with mine as I reached over with my free hand and turned the deadbolt.

"Edward! Fuck…." Her words were drowned out by an accompanying moan when

I thrust my fingers further inside her and curled them towards her belly, searching
for the sweet spot. Her juices were flowing freely and practically dripping off me.

"Jesus Christ, Bella… You aren't allowed to wear that outfit to concerts anymore,

do you understand me?" I asked sternly as I continued to thrust into her wetness
and work her into a frenzy. It was what she deserved, getting me all worked up like
that.

Her arms went around my chest and she reached for my shoulders from behind,

bracing herself. As her head fell forward onto my shoulder, I caught a minute nod
just as her entire body began to shudder and her pussy spasmed around my hand.

"That's right, baby, come for me. Just like that," I crooned into her ear.

Knowing I didn't have very much time to accomplish what I was after, I didn't give

her much of a chance to recover before I scooped her up and turned around, looking
for the best place to finish what I had started.

"Edward, you have to get back out there… can't you hear them?"

I didn't really care, for the first time in my whole fucking life. Who gives a fuck

about thousands of screaming fans when I've got this beautiful woman right here,
her body begging me to ravage it? Okay, so I really did give a shit, but I had
something I had to do first. I had to get rid of the raging fucking hard-on that had
plagued me since I had seen her in that tight, short skirt a couple of hours before. I
damn near forgot the lyrics more than once.

I practically tossed her over the back of the overstuffed chair that travelled with

me wherever I went. We had some good memories in that chair. Damn good ones.
But this was one thing the chair had yet to be, and that was christened.

She giggled and wiggled her ass.

Fuck.

I put my hands on the outsides of her thighs and pulled them up over her ass,

- 389 -

pushing that menace of a skirt up with them. My cock did a triple axel when her
bare ass was before me. I didn't know my own strength. I ripped that goddamned
flimsy excuse for panties right the fuck off her before plunging my fingers into her
tight, wet pussy one more time.

"Fuuuuuck, you're fucking wet for me, aren't you, baby?" Apparently I couldn't

control my mouth any better than I could control my fucking dick at that point.

She moaned and wiggled her ass again, thrusting it back against my hand.

Fuck.

I knew I had to hurry. Rhianne would be pounding on the fucking door any

minute. I could hear the muffled sound of the music and knew my cue was coming
up soon. Without wasting any more time, I yanked my button-fly open, fished out my
excruciatingly hard dick, and shoved it inside her.

She gasped and pushed against me. "Fuuuuuuuuuck…" Her voice was low and

raspy and I could feel myself nearly come undone then. Determined that I wasn't
going to be a three second wonder, I concentrated for a second on the sound of the
music again. I still had a minute or two. Good.

I pulled back, almost out of her, and rammed against her again. "You like that,

baby? You like it when I fuck you hard like this?" I asked while I slammed my hips
into her ass over and over again.

"Uh, uh, uh, unggh, huh…"

"I'll take that as a yes."

"How did I get so fucking lucky?" was the last thought that went through my mind

before I reached down and started circling her clit with my fingers.

Our movements became so intense that I blocked out the entire world. I couldn't

see or hear or feel anything but Bella's body, her moans, her thrusts, her muscles
squeezing and releasing my cock… and then I just fucking exploded. I came so
goddamn hard I nearly crushed her against the chair.

Not missing a beat, Bella screamed out with the intensity of her own climax just a

second after mine started.

Right on cue, Rhianne started pounding on the dressing room door. "Edward! It's

- 390 -

time! You've got to get back out there!" Jesus Christ she was screaming out there.

"I'm coming!" I yelled, and then laughed.

Bella giggled.

Fuck.

I smacked her ass hard and started yanking my clothes off. "I want you to go, get

out of here. I want you in the room and ready for me when I get there, and you had
better be fucking wet and ready because when I get back there, I'm gonna fuck you
like there's no tomorrow," I instructed, pulling my black t-shirt over my head
followed by my hoodie.

She was smiling at me all seductive and shit.

Fuck.

I walked right up to her and kissed her hard on the mouth. I didn't even want to

go back out on that stage. I knew exactly what I wanted to do and I didn't want to
have to wait to do it.

Right before I left to go back on stage, I whispered in her ear, "I wanna fuck your

ass, baby."

I didn't wait for her reaction. I just turned on my heel and headed straight for the

door. I unlocked it and yanked it open to see Rhianne standing red-faced right
outside. She was pissed. And it was funny as fuck. I just started laughing.

I jerked my thumb back towards Bella and quipped, "She's ready to go to the

hotel. Get her there," before I disappeared at a dead run down the hallway and back
to the stage. As I was running I saw Squally, who was the president of my Australian
fan club. She was beaming at me so I swatted her on the ass as I ran by, hoping she
would understand my rush.

I made it back to the stage just as my music cue hit and I was relieved that I

wasn't late, although I would much rather have been in the limo with Bella on my
way back to the hotel.

After the show, I was obligated to hang around for a little while. There were fans,

a lot of them Vixens, who had paid good money to spend time backstage with me
and the rest of the crew after the show. I cut my time to no more than an hour, and

- 391 -

took it easy on the booze. I started to drink my vodka and then thought better of it. I
rather enjoyed being in Velvet mode while I was fucking Bella, and she didn't seem
to mind, so…

I walked in quietly, not wanting to alert her to my presence just yet. I heard the

TV in the bedroom and holy fuck… she was watching fucking porn! My dick got
hard… like really fucking hard. I couldn't wait… I just went for it… busted through
the door, and caught her red-fucking-handed with her fingers in her pussy.

"What the fuck are you doin'?" I asked, feigning anger.

She stopped her movements and looked up at me, blinking. "Um… you told me to

be ready?" I smirked at her and started stalking towards her like a cat on the prowl.
She removed her fingers from her pussy and started scooting back on the bed.

"Oh no you don't," I growled, "Put your fucking fingers back in that sweet pussy. I

wanna watch." She blushed from head to fucking toe and I grinned in spite of my
dominant behavior. Tentatively she slid her hand back down over her stomach and
between her legs. My cock jumped and I quickly rid myself of my jeans and boxers. I
also pulled my shirt over my head and climbed onto the bed, moving closer to her. I
lay on my stomach with my head propped up on my fists, just watching her fingers
move tentatively across her clit and then dip down inside of her. It was erotic as hell
when she did it and moaned softly at the same time.

I heard the moaning on the television increase in tempo so I glanced over to see

what was going on, and damned if she wasn't watching ass-fuck porn. I turned back
to Bella and saw that she was staring at me, while lazily plunging her fingers in and
out of her cunt. I couldn't take any more. I scooted forward and grabbed her fingers,
putting them in my mouth. "Mmmm. FUCK, you taste good," I told her while licking
the juices off her hand. She moaned in response. I smirked and then dove between
her legs, attacking her clit with my tongue and sliding my fingers inside her.

"Ahhhh… fuck, Edward… that feels so fucking… unggggg…"

I looked up at her and blinked once. Feeling ornery, I said, "Who the fuck is

Edward?" all hateful like I was pissed off. She immediately sat up and looked down
at me where I was still running two fingers in and out of her, painfully slowly. Fuck
she was wet… and tight… and my concentration was shot.

"Sorry, Velvet… I, uh… never mind…" she said, blushing.

"Better," I mumbled with my mouth full of pussy again. I licked her folds up and

- 392 -

down, making sure to graze her clit with my tongue each time I passed by it. She
was squirming and writhing beneath me and I fucking loved the power I had over
her body at that moment. Deftly, I slid a third finger inside her to join the other two.
She moaned. Loud.

I was afraid I was gonna come on the fucking bedspread so I rearranged myself so

that my cock wasn't rubbing on it, and then I leaned my head back where I could get
a better look. I watched my three fingers disappearing inside her and I rubbed her
clit with my thumb. "You like that, baby?"

"Uhhhhh huhhhhhh…" I decided to take that as a yes and slid my fourth digit in

with the other three, stretching her pussy open wide. "Ohhhh God, Velvet… What
are you… uhhhhhhhng… FUCK!" I grinned and continued to gently fuck her with my
hand. Just when I knew she couldn't take anymore, I leaned down and started
flicking my tongue across her clit, back and forth, side to side, up and down, and she
just fucking exploded, screaming and writhing and soaking my arm with her juices.

When her orgasm subsided, I carefully removed my fingers from within her and

kissed her tiny bundle of nerves. She surprised me by reaching down and grabbing
my hand, shoving my fingers in her mouth, and licking them clean.

Fuck! Baseball… yeah… um… who's on first, what's on second, I don't know's on

third… It took everything in me to not just fucking splooge all over the damn bed
when she did that. I finally got myself under control and sat up to kiss her.

When our lips crashed together, I felt warm all over. Her tongue instinctively

plunged into my mouth and our mouths danced together. The taste of her arousal
mixed with her natural sweet taste inside my mouth and I was in Heaven. We were
almost fighting for dominance of the kiss. While we were kissing, I pulled her over
on top of me and she impaled herself on my cock while my hands roamed up and
down her back, squeezing her ass every chance I got. She was trying to ride me
hard, but I slowed her down. I was far from ready for this shit to be over and I had
fucking plans for her. She needed to slow the fuck down! When I was ready to
continue to move forward with my goal for the night, I easily lifted her off me and
tossed her next to me on the bed. She giggled. Fuck.

"Now, Mrs. Velvet, I'm going to make you scream my name again, because that's

the most beautiful sound in the universe," I told her in a commanding voice. She
giggled again. Fuck.

I flipped Bella over on her stomach and covered her body with mine, placing

kisses on the backs of her shoulders, her shoulder blades, and between them,

- 393 -

because I knew that drove her crazy. She was moaning and squirming around so I
knew she was liking it. Plus, I was rubbing my dick up and down the crack of her
ass, so she wasn't the only one enjoying it. I slid my hands up her sides and tickled
the sides of her tits with fluttering fingertips. I felt her whole body relaxing under
my touch so I slid off and laid next to her, letting my erection pulse against her hip.

Running my hand up and down her back, I started whispering in her ear, telling

her the lewd and kinky things I wanted to do to her… with her. She was smiling and
nodding at me. Finally, she whispered back, "I want to try it." Well, that was all the
go ahead I needed. I reached over to find my jeans on the floor and fished in the
pocket for the bottle of lube I had picked up at the drugstore on the way to the
hotel.. Then, I climbed around and settled myself between her legs, pushing them
apart. Bella moaned when the cold air hit her hot, sopping wet pussy.

My cock was straining to get to her, but I knew if this was going to work, we had

to take it slow, so I mentally told my dick to shut the fuck up and let me be in control
for once. He didn't like it, but he calmed down slightly.

I ran my hands over her ass, marveling at how perfect and round it was. I

squeezed her cheeks and she moaned softly. I smirked just as I lifted my right hand
and smacked her ass hard, immediately gently rubbing the spot where I had slapped
her. Her body quivered to my every touch and I knew I had her right where I wanted
her. Reaching down, I slid a finger inside her and rather than moving it around, I
just let it lay inside her. I could feel her inner muscles moving, clenching, begging
for more.

With my free hand, I opened the bottle of warming lube and began pouring it on

her ass, letting it run down the crack. Bella giggled and wriggled her ass. I smirked
and let the liquid run down over my hand, massaging it into her as it coated the
hand that was working her pussy.

Gently, I pulled my finger out of her, listening to her sigh at the loss of contact. I

struggled momentarily to get my inner Velvet under control because if we were
going to do this, I didn't want to hurt her. Velvet tends to go at things a little more
haphazardly than I would prefer at times.

Running my fingers along the crack of her ass, I delicately brushed across her

back entrance. Her moan indicated that she liked it, but I had to be sure.

"You okay, baby?"

"Uh huh," she choked out, nodding.

- 394 -

I reached up to grab a pillow, and lifting her hips, I pushed it under her. "That

comfortable?"

She crossed her arms above her and laid her head on them. She nodded again and

moved herself around a little, adjusting.

I began to massage her ass and her back with one hand while the other continued

to run up and down her crack, pausing each time I crossed her tiny rosebud to push
against it lightly. As I moved slowly, I could feel her relax a little more each time I
found her entrance. My cock was straining against my skin and I couldn't get over
how perfect, beautiful, and trusting of me she was. This was something I couldn't
fuck up or I would never have another chance to love her like this.

Seeing that she was about as relaxed as I had ever seen her, I gently pushed my

fingertip inside her, feeling her open up and then close on my finger. I moaned aloud
when that happened. I held perfectly still while she adjusted to the foreign invasion
and when I felt that she was relaxing again, I pushed a little further inside. Bella let
out a long, low moan as my finger worked its way inside her back passage.

"Oh Jesus, Bella, that's fucking hot," I breathed. I could barely speak. She pushed

back against my hand ever so slightly, but enough for me to know she wanted me to
continue, so I slowly withdrew my finger, pulling it almost all the way out, before
pushing it back inside her, further this time.

I grabbed the lube and poured more on her, working it into her ass as I slowly

finger-fucked her there. I wasn't so sure I wasn't going to come just by doing this. It
was sensual, and hot, and she was putty in my hands, literally. Each time I pushed
forward with my finger, Bella began to push back against me with more and more
effort each time.

"Talk to me, baby. I need to know you're okay," I ground out.

"Oh God, yes… I'm okay," she panted.

I moved closer to her, spreading her legs a little further apart and pushing her

knees slightly under her. She complied with my motions and put her butt a little
further up in the air, giving me better access.

While my right index finger stroked her back passage, I reached up with my left

hand to swirl my fingers around her clit and push my thumb inside her pussy. Bella's
entire body shuddered and she moaned more loudly than before.

- 395 -

Moving up on my knees, I put my cock at her entrance and pushed inside, while

still massaging her back passage with my finger. The guttural sound that Bella made
while my cock entered her was enough to cause me to have to stop for a moment
just to keep from exploding.

"Oh fuck yeah… Bella… God," I growled against my heavy breathing.

Her words were beyond comprehension and just sounded like heavy growling and

groaning.

I stopped moving my hips again and gently began to push a second finger into her

back passage along with the first, pouring more lube down my hand as I did so.
Bella was moaning and writhing beneath me while I stretched her. I talked to her
the whole time.

"You okay, baby? Tell me if I'm hurting you." I was afraid of hurting her, but the

whole thing was overwhelmingly hot and I was more aroused than I had ever been in
my life. She moaned and said something that resembled 'more' which made me go
crazy. Literally.

I pulled my cock out of her pussy to prevent it from taking over and fucking her

silly. She was dripping wet and there was lube all over her ass. I couldn't help but
slap her cheek again as I slowly fucked her ass with my fingers.

"Oh… God… Ed..Velvet…fuck." Her words were spread out only coming with each

thrust of my hand. I leaned over and placed tiny kisses on the small of her back,
thinking how hot she would look with a tat there.

"More, please," she begged.

Ah hell no! Did she really just say that? FUCK!

I couldn't hold back anymore. Velvet was screaming at me to 'tap dat ass' and it

was all I could do to not just shove my whole fucking cock inside her at once. I
pulled my fingers out, poured more lube on her ass and then slathered lube all over
my dick.

Placing the head at her entrance, I took a deep breath and reminded myself to go

easy. "You sure?" I choked, praying she would say yes. She answered by pushing
back against me and moaning. "Fuck…okay… fuck… take it easy, would ya?"

I grabbed hold of her hips and pressed forward as gently as I could. Bella's moans

- 396 -

turned into something between a moan and a scream and I stopped, scared, until
she said, "Oh fuck yes, Velvet, fuck my ass!"

The head of my dick disappeared in her ass with a 'pop' and I remained

motionless. She was breathing really hard and her skin shimmered in the light that
flickered from the television. She was covered in sweat, her hair was a mess, her ass
was in the air and holy fucking shit if she didn't just go ahead and push her ass
backwards and bury me inside her.

I grabbed hold of her hips and held on tightly, fearing that I would leave bruises,

but unable to loosen my grip for fear if she moved the wrong way at the wrong time,
it would be all over. For just a moment, our breathing was the only sound in the
room. I looked down at my beautiful, trusting goddess, laid bare before me. She
wasn't going to stand for this lack of motion long. I could see her muscles rippling
and knew that she was on the verge of insanity. Not necessarily mental insanity, but
insanity from her physical need. My cock pulsed inside her and I felt her muscles
gripping me.

Pouring some more lube down the crack of her ass, I slowly withdrew my dick

until only the head was inside her.

"Oh fuck, oh God… oh fuck… fuck me, Edward… fuck me," she breathed.

I caught my grip on her hips again and thrust forward, again burying myself in her

back passage. I can't even begin to describe what it felt like. Bella was bucking
against me and I began fucking her in earnest. Her body shuddered and shook and
the mewling sounds she was making were fucking erotic as hell.

I lost myself to her. We truly became as one, our movements in perfect sync with

one another. I reached around her to swirl my fingers over her clit, only to find that
she had beaten me to it and was rubbing herself furiously with her own hand.

"Oh yeah, that's right, baby. Does it feel good? You like that, baby?" I panted as I

continued to fuck her, feeling my own climax building somewhere deep within my
pelvis. The next thing I knew, my balls contracted and I was coming harder than I
could ever have imagined, and Bella was tumbling into the abyss with me,
screaming my name in her ecstasy.

Afterwards, I felt a need for closeness. Bella had given me an exceptional gift and

I wanted her to know how adored she was. I gathered her into my arms and held
tightly to her, stroking her hair and kissing her gently, whispering to her how very
much I loved her and cherished her. She fell asleep in my arms, murmuring words of

- 397 -

love and adoration back to me.

All was right with the world. I had my Bella and she made my life complete.

- 398 -

Document Outline

Title Page
Copyright Page
Table of Contents
Summary
1. Prologue
2. Freedom
3. Ray of Light
4. Venom
5. Daddy
6. Tequila
7. Okhotnichya
8. Threshold
9. Justice
10. Infatuation
11. Velvet
12. Breathing
13. Mockingbird
14. Fuse
15. Sailing
16. Decompensate
17. Redeemed
18. Superstar
19. Sacrifice
20. Butterfly
21. Lucky
22. Goodbye
23. Confrontation
24. Conundrum
25. Unstoppable
26. Proposition
27. Sanctuary
28. Change
29. Elphaba
30. Harmony
31. Adjustments
32. Paroxysm
33. Exacerbation
34. Realization
35. Completion
36. Epilogue
37. FGB Outtake 1 Melbourne, Aus

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