Charlotte Banks (Charlie) is newly graduated from college and
working in public relations. She is given a case that is just a bit too
close to the heart. Joey Carino is a rock god, but now with his life
spinning out of control, it's up to Charlie to try and save his reputation
with his record label and his fans. However, dealing with Joey means
dealing with Matthew Johns, Joey's best friend and Charlie's worst
nightmare.

I cannot fix on the hour, or the spot, or the look, or the words, which
laid the foundation. It is too long ago. I was in the middle before I knew
that I had begun.
- Jane Austen, Pride & Prejudice

To those who can' t, you can.

o n e
Getting called into your boss's office sucks.
Getting called first thing in the morning sucks ass.
I'd just arrived at the office, hadn't had coffee yet, and the computer
was still cold. When I saw Tad Banks standing in front of my office
door, and I knew this was going to be a Monday morning I should've
stayed in bed.
With a flick of his head, he motioned for me to follow him into his
office.
Damn Monday mornings.
He directed me to sit. Twitching my lips, I dropped everything and
made my way to him, sitting in the padded brown club chair. I liked his
office; it was warm and inviting, something Tad Banks was not on the
best of days.
It was obvious his wife had decorated this space. It was masculine, but
with feminine touches. The dark brown walls of the office were lit up
with cheery wall accents and pictures of family in various stages of
vacation. A weekly vase of flowers was prominent on the credenza
behind his desk. Definitely the work of Mrs. Banks.
I sat down, gazing over his shoulder at the current arrangement of calla
lilies and birds of paradise flowers—an anomaly to the type of person
he was—wondering why he would want to speak to me so early. I'd
been working with Andrew Grant for a few months. He'd been keeping
me busy, learning the ins and outs of working for a public relations
firm. I'd sat in on a few meetings with him, soaking in all the
knowledge of how the industry worked. Knowing Andrew had been
giving Tad updates, I thought maybe this was the reason for this
impromptu meeting.

Working in public relations was the dream job I'd wanted since I could
speak. College groomed me for this job, and all I'd ever thought of was
being a public relations guru for the likes of Brad Pitt—sans
Angelina—or even the yummy, and scrumptious Henry Cavill. Hell,
I'd even take on Jennifer Lawrence. This! This was my life.
Tad sat down at his desk and rifled through the drawers. Moving piles
of paperwork from the top of his desk, he looked up at me and gave a
slight shrug. He came precariously close to knocking his coffee cup
over several times. I sat on the edge of my seat, waiting to stop a
catastrophe, my nerves hopping along with his unruly hand.
"I hope you had a nice weekend," I said, trying to lighten the moment.
He grunted at me as he continued looking around his messy desk. As I
stared at the hazardously placed coffee cup, I thought I heard him say
"voilà" under his breath. Holding up a thick file, he leaned over his
desk to hand it to me. Most people these days were using tablets or
laptops. He was still working in the twentieth century.
He nodded to the file. "Andrew's been giving me some great feedback
on your work, so I thought it was time to give you a client of your
own." A bright smile lit his face, then shifted to something more
serious which reflected in his voice as he propped his elbows on the
desk. "It's basic publicity with a bit of management involved. He's an
out-of-control rock star, and the label, our clients," he pointed to the
both of us, "want to get him back on the straight and narrow, or they'll
negate his contract."
Somehow, this didn't seem very basic to me at all. "My first client..." I
looked down at the folder in a happy daze. It was just a plain manila
folder with some scribbling on it, but inside it would be the first step
into the career of my dreams. This was my 'make it or break it'.
Tad nodded as I placed the folder in my lap, now dying to finish up this
meeting. My fingers tapped anxiously against the paper's surface. I was
ready to throw myself into figuring out how to deal with the client.
What type of management and publicity would he need? Would he be
the typical spoiled rock star, women hanging off of each arm? Would
he treat me like the person who wanted to help him? So many
questions.

Then it hit me—this was going to be my first real client. Without the
help of anyone else. And he was a rock star. I was excited. And I was
terrified.
"So why me?" I asked, my voice croaking due to lack of caffeine.
"Charlotte, you've proven yourself to everyone here." His eyes
softened a bit, a smile threatening on his lips. "You're ready to be out
there on your own, and I know fully well that you'll be successful at it.
I have faith in your ability. You've been groomed for this since your
internship. This is the job you've been training for."
I nodded, still in my daze. "I'm definitely ready to work on my own,
and I' m really excited—nervous—but excited."
"You're more than capable of handling this client. In fact, it should be
fairly easy for you, I think."
His tone was ominous; I just stared at him. "So this case isn't in
Phoenix?" My voice wavered as I rubbed my sweaty palms against my
skirt. A part of me wondered if I could deal with a big-time rock star. I
was attractive, about five-seven, and lucky to get my thick, natural
blonde hair from mom. My eyes—a greenish-grey—were all my dad.
"Nooo." He shook his head. "You'll be heading to L.A. once you're up
to speed. Everything you need to know is in that file." He indicated the
plain manila folder that was starting to make me sweat. "We'll set you
up with a hotel and credit card, the usual stuff that comes with
traveling."
"I'm heading to L.A.?" I asked.
He gave me a beatific smile. "Just read it over and come in with any
questions." He got up from his seat, brushing a hand down his pant leg.
Stepping toward the door, he stopped behind my chair. "I know you'll
do well, Charlotte. I have faith you'll do this company proud." He
placed a gentle hand on my shoulder.
A small smile played on my lips. Getting any type of compliment from
Tad Banks was indeed high praise. I held the file against my chest as a
way of slightly protecting myself, and I nodded once. "I understand,
sir." I stood up, knowing the meeting was ending.
I had just made it to the door when he gently turned me to face him, a
tender glint to his eye as he held my chin in his hand. "You're the

best girl—" He cleared his throat. "—woman, for the job."
I smiled proudly and looked straight into his eyes, trying to steal a bit of
his confidence, something he'd taught me to do long ago, and I pressed
the plain manila folder tighter to me. Then I did something I never do. I
let my professional wall fall away and said, "I know, Daddy."

t w o
Once I left my father's office, I rushed back to mine to look over the
client information. Coffee was long forgotten, unfortunately. But after I
made my way through the file, I sat at my desk in a shock. The back of
my skull was pressed into the headrest of my chair, and my eyes were
closed as I willed away a developing panic attack. I was so tempted to
march right back into my father's office and demand to be taken off the
case. There was no way in hell he was giving me this job.
For some reason, I just knew Mom had something to do with this. I
loved my mom to death, and I knew she was excited that I was working
for Dad' s company, but to be involved in picking my first client? I just
wanted to shake my damn head. I placed my head into my hands after I
stared with bleary eyes at the name.
Joey Carino.
Fingers at my temples, I tried to rub the stress from the headache that
was fast approaching migraine status. When I first opened the folder
and saw his name, my heart sped up to tachycardia speeds. Out of the
thousands of stars in the world, this was the one I got.
He's got to be fucking joking.
Tossing the file on my desk, I finally wandered into the kitchen to grab
that elusive cup-o-joe I so desperately needed. If we'd had Bailey's or
Jameson in the building, I would've spiked the coffee to calm my jittery
nerves. Leaning up against the counter, I stirred cream into my cup, lost
in my own world when Andrew Grant came in. He had been my dad' s
right-hand man since the company started in the eighties, and was a big
cheerleader in my corner. They'd gone to university together, and he'd
been a fixture at Casa Banks for as long as I'd been alive.
He was divorced with no kids, currently playing the field. Most

women loved him, more for his British accent than for the great person
he was. To me, he'd always be Uncle Andrew. He mentored me during
college breaks, and when I interned during the summers. He also had
me sit in client meetings with him, which, for interns, was highly
unusual. To some it might seem like special treatment, but he made me
work my ass off for his respect. In turn, he was a great teacher, and I'd
always respected him.
"You shouldn't hog the coffee machine, you know."
Glancing around, I realized I was standing right in front of the machine,
still lost in my thoughts. I slid to my left but remained deep in thought
while Andrew prepared his coffee.
"Dad called me into his office this morning," I said, staring at the back
of Andrew's pinstriped suit. He was slightly peppered with gray at the
temples, but it looked good on him, distinguished. He was extremely
attractive for an older guy.
Andrew nodded his back still to me. Finished making his coffee, he
turned around, his eyes flickering to the lip I was chewing. With an
aggravated sigh and an arched brow, he asked, "Are you going to spit it
out, or do I have to guess?"
I smiled at his accent. It was always so much more British early in the
morning. "He gave me my first client today," I mumbled, my gaze
dropping to my coffee.
He clucked his tongue after taking a long sip of his coffee; his eyes
softening like my dad's did earlier. "Getting your first client is equally
exciting and terrifying. You've done well with the clients while
working with me. What's making you so nervous?"
I took a sip of my coffee, trying hard not to burn my tongue on the hot
liquid. Thankfully, that first sip seemed to calm the nerves, if just for a
second. "It's not so much the what, as it's more the who." I was being
deceptively vague, but I still wasn't one hundred percent sure if I could
or would take this client. Can I deal with seeing him again?
Placing his coffee cup on the counter, he led me over to the table,
pressing me into a chair as he placed a warm, gentle hand on my
shoulder. It was a familial touch, and I appreciated it. His eyes were
zoned in on me. "Didn't you just say the other day that you were tired of

being the errand girl around here? You know the biz. We have to get
our hands dirty sometimes, and we can't always be choosy."
Of course, I knew all this. My dad had been running this company since
before I was born. It was his passion. He didn't take on many clients
anymore, but he had a team that he respected with proven track records.
But for some reason, I felt like I was being tested because I was his
daughter. I was the new kid on the block.
I fiddled with the rim of my coffee cup, and he asked, "Who's the
client?"
"Joey Carino." I gave him a worried look, and then jumped out of the
chair, straightening my blue suit jacket and pacing back and forth.
Andrew's brows shot up into his hairline as he choked on his coffee.
Regaining his composure, he blinked a couple times. "Holy shit," he
said, wiping the coffee from his chin.
I frowned at him, my eyes blazing. "What the hell is that supposed to
mean?"
"Charlotte," he started sounding defensive. "Joey could be a difficult
client at best, and with the hist..." His words trailed off. He gave me a
kindly stare, but I knew exactly where he was going with it.
"I know what you're thinking." I nodded with the confidence I didn't
have. "Yes, Joey's career is hot. But according to the file, he's kinda all
over the place." It was kind of a lie. I really wasn't sure what Andrew
was thinking, but I wanted to prod him a little make him finish what he
was saying. It wasn't typical of him to clam up when I needed advice.
He would never go against my father, but he also respected the hell out
of me.
"So why does your father want you, specifically, to take this job?" He
rubbed his chin in thought.
"That's a good question and I haven't been able to figure out yet. Joey's
been on a bit of a destructive streak." I plopped back into the chair
again and ticked off the facts. "His record label is threatening to cancel
his ass, and he's got a huge concert coming up at the Hollywood Bowl.
It seems his drug use is becoming an issue. He's been missing some
publicity events set up by the label. From what I read, it looks like he' s
embraced the typical rock-n-roll lifestyle. And all I can come up

with is that Dad thinks I'm the one to help him." Blowing my hair out of
my eyes, I shook my head in misery.
Andrew whistled through his lips. "This could be a tough one." He
stood up and walked over to me. I knew Andrew would understand the
conflict I was feeling. "Are you sure you're the right person to handle
this?"
"I don't know," I said, confused. "A part of me feels like I should at
least take a chance, and then the other half tells me to run screaming in
the opposite direction." I smirked at him.
Andrew picked up his coffee cup as he headed to the door. "Your father
had a reason for giving you Joey. It's up to you to see if you're ready to
deal with it. This type of client needs a firm hand, but a kind heart." He
smiled at me, tender in his wisdom.
"Dealing with Joey doesn't really scare me," I admitted, then grimaced.
"It's Matthew. Matthew scares me."
Matthew was Joey's best friend and manager. The three of us had gone
to the same Phoenix school system for years and I was never
considered a favorite person to Matthew. He could be brutal when it
came to Joey. Something I'd seen firsthand. Matthew didn't like me. In
fact, he never liked me much, as he told me daily.
Andrew laughed. "Oh, chicky, he'll be a piece of cake. It's the kid
gloves with Joey that might give you problems."
"I suppose." I sighed. Andrew's talk was making me feel better, but I
was still feeling blindsided.
"You'll do fine, and you can come to me any time you need help," he
said happily. "I promise you, we won't allow you to be eaten by the
sharks."
A sudden giggle escaped from my lips. Andrew was always finding
humor in my distress.
"Sure," I said while I rolled my eyes. "Thanks for the chat."
He winked. "Not a problem." He tilted his head as I ran my finger
around the rim of my coffee again. "You'll be fine, I know it."
Then he headed out, leaving me to my thoughts and wandering
emotions. Damn this day

t h re e
With Andrew's promise and solid wisdom, I went back to my office
with a sense of renewed purpose. Daddy was giving me this case for a
reason. And being the professional I was, I would do everything in my
power to make sure this company looked good and that I was someone
he could trust. I just needed to trust that he had my best interest in mind
and wasn't throwing this case at me willy-nilly. This would be my
chance to prove myself.
I sat straighter in my chair, forced myself to feel stronger and ready to
tackle this case head on. To make my dad proud.
Over the next hour, I read through the file a few times to see exactly
what Joey had been up to since I last saw him. He'd been highly
successful since he broke into the market a few years back, selling out
concerts worldwide, and record stores couldn't keep his stuff stocked.
Several times in a row, he'd been named one of People magazine's most
beautiful. And beautiful he was.
He was thickly built, but in a muscular way. He kept his head shaved
close to the scalp, which highlighted his carved cheeks and strong
jawline. However, it was the pale green eyes with the pinprick pupils
that looked like he could see through you. I could never forget those
eyes. When he was looking at you, you felt it in your soul. Just thinking
of him made my heart race. Which was definitely not what I needed
right now. Conflicted feelings aside, this was a job.
It appeared Joey had been suffering the typical downfall of fame. Too
much drinking in public and getting fall-down drunk. According to the
tabloids—which I always took with a grain of salt—his drug use was
becoming a problem. However, the label hadn't exactly come out and
said that drugs were an issue, and rumor rags were sketchy at best. I

could only hope he wasn't doing cocaine, heroin, or pills. Trying to
keep that out of the news would be tricky.
I stared at Joey's picture. He was jammed between two busty blondes,
and I rolled my eyes. How cliché. In the background was Joey's
partner-in-crime and manager, Matthew Johns. He was holding an
unopened champagne bottle with a smile plastered on his face. I
shuddered involuntarily and rubbed my forehead as I flipped through
the few other pictures, either taken by paparazzi or professional
photographers. They all captured Joey in his absolute gorgeousness,
but there was something missing. A notable difference from earlier
pictures compared to shots taken recently. There was a lack of emotion
in his eyes. He'd have a smile on face, but it never seemed to reach his
eyes. I went back and forth between the various photos, trying to piece
together when that may have happened. He had such light when I knew
him. I felt a sadness overcoming me as I wondered about how much
he'd changed.
Looking at the clock, I noticed it was lunch time. My stomach
grumbled, but I wanted to hold off until I called L.A. The idea of
talking to Matthew Johns on a full stomach made me nauseous.
Sighing, I spun in my chair to stare out my tiny office window. I was a
nervous wreck. My heart was beating up into my throat, and my palms
were a sweaty mess. I was dreading this more than my twice-a-year
dental appointment. (Bad recollections from a younger age.)
Tapping my pencil against my desk, I heard a knock at my partially
open door. My dad walked in, holding up a piece of paper.
"Hey." I tried to smile at him, but it came out more as a twist of my
lips.
"How's it going?" He nodded at the files and pictures littering my
desk.
I sighed again. "It's going." I was afraid to let him know that I was
feeling less than capable at the moment. How in the hell would I help
Joey? I hadn't seen him in so long, and with our history...
"Did you eat lunch yet?" he asked me sympathetically.
I just shook my head and waved a hand over the paperwork and my
iPad that was propped up against the desktop computer.
"This just came through my email. I haven't switched everything

over to you yet. Thought you might want to include it in your files." He
handed me the paper with a wink.
It was a picture. As I glanced over it, my hand went over my mouth. I
couldn't believe it. I looked up at Dad, who just shrugged and walked
quietly out of my office.
"Jesus," I muttered under my breath. If I thought this case was going to
be simple, I was deluding myself.
In the photo was Joey Carino in all his naked glory, pissing in a water
fountain while a large cluster of people stood around him. I ran a hand
through my thick, blonde hair, now dreading the call even more.
Swallowing hard, I swore under my breath, flipped the picture over,
and picked up my damn phone.
I was on hold for a few minutes while the secretary got Matthew Johns
on the line. My heart was beating triple time. I hadn't talked to Matthew
in years.
When I finally heard a click on the line, I took a sip of my water and
fisted my hand, needing to feel the bite of my nails digging into my
palm.
"Charlie?" a shocked voice replied.
"Hi, Matthew." It came out breathier than I intended, but my nerves
were getting the better of me.
"Wow, I' m just, wow. how are you?" I could hear the false smile that I
remembered all too well.
"I'm fine, but Matthew," I took a deep breath, "but, um, that's not why
I'm calling." I frowned at the sharpness in my voice.
"Hmm...you're calling about Joey?" he asked suspiciously. I didn't
think he knew I was working for Dad.
"I am," I said in a clipped tone. I was sure he thought it was for a much
different reason than what it was. Dealing with Matthew was not at the
top of my bucket list. It wasn't on any list, other than 'how to make
myself miserable.' We'd never really seen eye to eye when it came to
Joey. Mainly, he hated me, and I never played nice.
"You saw the picture that was in the tabloids today?" he guessed as he
sighed into the phone.
I rolled my eyes at his lame sigh. A part of me wished I could

strangle him through the phone. "I think it's safe to say everyone saw
the picture. It's all over the Internet."
"What do you want me to say, Charlie? I wasn't there. He was probably
three sheets to the wind." He was sounding defensive, ah there was the
Matthew I remembered. "Why are you calling anyway? There's been
other pictures of him that didn't seem to bother you." I could tell he was
getting argumentative.
"I'm not sure if you heard his record label hired my dad's firm. As a
friendly gesture, I'm calling you to get some information. Just because I
haven't called beforehand doesn't mean I wasn't paying attention." He
started to say something else, but I cut him off. "As his manager,
shouldn't you tighten the reins? Especially when his label is threatening
to drop him?" The anxious tapping of my pencil became faster and
louder.
"I' m his manager, Charlie, not his babysitter," he growled at me.
"Well," I said sarcastically, "it's a good thing I've been hired to be his
personal babysitter then. I've been brought in to be Joey's publicist."
Matthew cursed in the background. "What the fuck are you talking
about?"
I leaned against my desk in a virtual power position. "I've been brought
on to be Joey's publicist," I said slowly.
"No, absolutely not," he hissed through the phone. "Who hired you?
This is crazy. You of all people shouldn't be crossing paths with him."
"That," I said prickly, "would be the label." I sneered, even though he
couldn' t see it.
God, I hated him. It was all coming back. How he treated me, belittled
me, how he definitely knew how to push my fucking buttons. "I need
you to clear his schedule for the week, and I need you to get me onto
your schedule."
There was a brief sound of static, then I heard Matthew yelled for his
assistant; obviously, he'd thought if he put his hand over the receiver I
wouldn't hear it. You 're an idiot like you always were. I heard him
demand she call the—and I quote—"fucking label."
I felt my face getting hot with anger. "I don't know what the label

will say to you, Matthew. But I know for a fact they don't have a clue
who I am, and I'd prefer it remain that way." I said this quickly before
he could rake the label over the coals.
When he finally calmed down, he said, "Shit, Charlie, this is not going
to go over well with Joey at all."
I had already figured that out. How the hell do you think it's already
been going over with me? I didn't say this out loud. Being back in
Joey's life after all these years would be difficult. Perhaps he'd be
pissed off and tell me to just fuck off. But I seriously didn't think that
was what motivated Joey. I had a job to do. Regardless who my client
was or wasn't, I would get it done right.
"Matthew, I don't care if it goes over like a ton of fucking bricks. I have
some serious clean-up to do and, unfortunately, you and I will have to
work together to do that." I planted my hand on my cheek. I couldn't
believe after all the history and fighting, Matthew and I would have to
team up and work together. I hesitated at the thought, the blueberry
muffin I'd had earlier threatening to make a nasty comeback.
Matthew sighed loudly. "What am I supposed to tell him?"
Unfortunately, this was a delicate situation. I couldn't afford to piss off
my first client, and I needed time to think through a strategy. I tapped
my pencil frantically as I tried to formulate a plan. This was hard to do
with Matthew's huffing and puffing in my ear.
"Don't tell him anything right away," I said quickly. "We'll figure
things out."
"I'm not sure, Charlie." He sounded pissed off. "I mean, you're his
ex-girlfriend. This could explode in both of our faces."
I'm more than his ex, douche bag. In fact, I was Joey Carino's high
school sweetheart.
From the moment I read the file and saw that I, Charlotte Banks, would
be my ex-boyfriend's publicist, I tried hard not to fall apart. But talking
to Matthew was bringing everything closer to the surface. The lies, the
cheating. The way I found out. Being a naïve college student didn't
prepare me for losing the person I thought was the love of my life.
"You don't think I realize that?" I hissed. "This is the last thing I want to
deal with. He's the one who broke my heart!" I closed my eyes,

feeling all those old emotions and hurt trickling back.
I will not allow Matthew to get to me. I will not allow Matthew to get to
me. I chanted.
"Jesus, Charlie," he breathed out heavily.
Clearing my throat, I told him, "I'll be flying out of Phoenix tomorrow
morning, and I'll be in L.A. mid-morning." He needed to know that I
was coming, regardless. This was his fault anyway. If he'd kept Joey's
leash a little tighter, Joey wouldn't be in this position. "Let's set up a
meeting for tomorrow."
"Fine." Matthew's voice was odd. There was an emotion there I didn' t
think he was capable of—defeat. "I can pick you up at the airport or
send a car. Whichever you want." His tone softened, and I found
myself sinking into my seat, wanting to soften as well. But knowing
Matthew, he was biding his time. He'd reach for my jugular soon
enough. He'd always hated me. I was certain that wasn't going to
change.
Wondering what kind of game, he was playing, I immediately
requested the car service. We went over a few things on his calendar
that he'd have to move around, then I told him I'd be arriving in town
around lunch time.
"Noon works for me," I said. "Just have the car service take me directly
to your office."
"Well, Charlie, I guess after five years I'll get to see you again. It's been
a long time." His tone could either be construed as mocking or
flirtatious. I'd stick with mocking.
After ending the call, I let out a loud frustrated groan and tossed my
pencil across the room, hoping it would break or stab the wall—I was
really in the mood to stab someone—but the eraser just bounced off,
not even leaving a mark, much like Joey's recovery after shattering my
heart.
For a while after we broke up, all I could do was listen to people tell me
what he was up to and who he had been seen with. Who the flavor of
the week was. While I tried to nurse a broken heart, he was off with
starlets, models, and whatever the hell else. Meanwhile, my heart had
been crushed sideways to Sunday.

I bet there still wasn't a mark on him.

f o u r
Touching down in L.A. felt weird. I wasn't sure what to expect from
this meeting and the drips of sweat at the base of my skull told me I was
more worried about seeing Matthew. My leg kept nervously bouncing
whenever I thought of my own self-preservation. As much as I worried
about Joey, I wondered if my heart could take it.
Joey and I were together during high school and for a year or so after I
went away to college. I was young and in love, but this was long before
he'd become the 'Joey Carino of the people'. He was just my Joe, and
we were inseparable. We had a lot of fun together in our North Phoenix
suburb. He was a couple grades above me, but he always made sure I
was treated with respect. Unfortunately for me, it didn't go over well
with Matthew Johns. Even back then, he was Joey's best friend, and
that somehow made me his enemy.
After high school, Joey decided that college wasn't for him. He wanted
to try his hand at music, working his way around local clubs in Phoenix
and the surrounding areas. Once I graduated high school, I knew right
away I wanted to go to college. Though it was a struggle to keep my
relationship with Joey strong, while knowing that I'd be heading east,
two thousand miles away.
We did everything right. "You 'll be by my side always, baby, " he'd said
to me. "You 're my rock, I need you. "
"Andyou 're mine, " I'd tell him with a kiss.
We were solid.
Leaving Arizona and Joey was hard, but we did what we could to make
our relationship work.
During my time away, people started seeing Joey as the talented
singer/songwriter/guitarist that he was. He' d booked a few small stints

at some local pubs and bars in Phoenix, but when he started branching
out to California, Oregon, and Washington state, people took notice.
I'd always known Joey was talented, and I'd been happy for him. But
being so far away and not being able to support him in person had been
difficult. It definitely put a strain on our relationship.
I hated when we' d argue over the phone. It was bad enough that he
wasn' t there with me, but he promised me that he wanted our
relationship to work.
During my second year in college, I started receiving weird emails with
explicit pictures of Joey with other women. It bothered me that some
anonymous person would know enough about me to send me emails.
Some of the pictures were innocent, like Joey talking to a girl while
sipping on a beer, but they became more and more graphic as his fame
started taking off. I did all I could to ignore them, but there was always
that nagging part that told me that these were definitely not
Photoshopped.
We tried to see each other as often as possible, but with the distance,
his career, and my school, it just became very hard. The breaking point
was when he was finally discovered by the record label. This time the
emails became more disgusting with blatant proof of his cheating.
Pictures of him making out with women, him in various modes of
undress with naked women sitting on his lap, straddling him. The one
that drove home the point that my relationship with Joey was over was
of him in bed, snuggling with another woman while both were stark
naked.
When Joey finally came out to Boston for a local show, I confronted
him and demanded the truth. He couldn't justify the pictures, and I
couldn't tell him who was sending them because I had no idea. He was
pissed off, and in the end I realized I couldn't trust him. I'll never forget
our last fight, the last time I saw those green eyes.
Joey stood in the middle of my dorm room, pacing back and forth. He' d
stormed in after his show, shouting and crying about the pictures and
texts. How could he do this to me? He loved me.
"You were my everything, " I told him with a heartbreaking look. "
Charlie, I fucked up. " He sounded so lost as he sat next to me on my
bed. "Ipromise it meant nothing. "

I could feel him right next to me, but I refused to look at him. Tears ran
uncontrollably down my face. " Obviously, I meant nothing to you, Joe.
Four years we've been together and just when things start moving for
you, you do this! How do you expect me to ever trust you again? "
He kneeled in front of me, taking my shaking hands into his big ones.
He rubbed a calloused thumb over my smooth knuckles. It was a touch
that I would miss.
" I' m so sorry, baby. I was drunk. It was stupid, and it won' t fucking
happen again, I swear—"
I cut him off. Now I was getting pissed off. "You don't know that, Joe. I'
m here in Boston, and you' re in California making a name and life for
yourself. We' re in separate worlds now. Obviously, this is the life you'
ve chosen."
" Charlie, I love you so much. " He sounded wrecked. I wanted to
believe that he meant it, but the pictures were like a loop in my head.
Unforgettable. Desperately squeezing my hands, he added, "It was a
stupid one-night thing. I promise you that. "
I closed my eyes to the sadness invading the room. His words were
heartfelt, but I knew there was no going back. This was over, and I
needed to make a clean break. "It's too late for us, Joey, " I whispered,
feeling my heart breaking with each word. I looked into his green eyes
one more time, wondering if I' d ever get to see them again. How would
I recover, and would I put myself back together again?
We were over, but I was far from over him.
"I'm sorry, Joey. But it's over, " I whispered.
For months, I wallowed in my dorm room. Friends urged me to go out
and get back on that horse, but it hurt too much. Of course, once our
relationship was over, the mysterious emails stopped, as well. Whoever
had sent them was probably relishing in their victory. They won.
Not that I could blame them. All they did was show me the truth. And I
had to thank them in a way for that.
Around the first of the year, I decided to listen to my nagging friends
and come out of hiding. Still heartbroken, I tried to maintain some
semblance of sanity. I found myself with serious trust issues that
couldn't just be forgotten by dating here and there. I did date and have

fun, but a long-time boyfriend just wasn't in the cards for me yet.
Having fun was all that mattered.
Once I finished up my degree in Communications, I came back home,
still nursing a smarting heart. With Joey out of the picture, I did
everything I could to excise him from my thoughts.
That is, until yesterday morning when Dad threw a whopper at me.
And of course, with Joey came Matthew. They were still best friends.
But it was going to be difficult to let go of the past. Matthew and I had
never got along. Our personalities clashed. He was rude to me. I tried to
be nice. He ignored me, and I did my best to include him. He'd talk over
me; I'd wait for him to be finished. After a while, we just became
indifferent to each other.
Matthew could be snarky, sarcastic, and biting. He could cut you to the
quick as fast as he could compliment your mother. Unfortunately, I was
at the end of a lot of those quips. Even though some of them hurt, I did
my best to keep my mouth shut. I didn't need to add to the existing
ripple of tension in the group.
When Joey and Matthew decided to put together a garage band, things
between Matthew and I reached a boiling point. He didn't want me
around practices. Joey told him to suck it up. It was a different story,
however, when Matthew had a girl show up. He could have whatever
the hell he wanted, it was just me he hated, and it was impossible not to
take that personally.
After a few months of practice, their sound was solid. Matthew was
really good on guitar, and Joey's voice was amazing. He had that
throaty, sexy growl going that would even make Jared Leto jealous.
Joey also played guitar, so he and Matthew played off of each other.
They found a decent drummer, Kevin Hayes, another kid in the same
grade as Matthew and Joey. One day, after they'd been playing for a
couple months, I was surprised by Matthew's guitar work. I knew he'd
taken lessons, but I never thought he'd gotten good. Once they brought
in David Miller, the bassist, their sound gelled.
Whenever I'd show up for a practice, Matthew would throw out the
Yoko-name-cough and then go sulk in a corner. He was always pissed
off when Joey spent any time with me. In turn, I'd be pissed off when

Joey would blow me off for Matthew. There was no happy medium,
and one of us always inevitably felt like a third wheel in the Joey
relationship
Now as I sat on the plane, running all my memories of us through my
head, I wondered which version of Matthew I'd be dealing with. Would
I get the childish asshole that treated me like shit, or the grown-up,
Joey's manager? Straightening my spine and taking deep calming
breaths, I forced myself to realize that I'd be dealing with the devil
today, either way.
When the captain announced that we'd be deplaning in a few minutes, I
started biting my lip nervously. Out of my seat, I grabbed my laptop
bag from the compartment above and made my way to the front of the
plane. I headed toward baggage and parking. For eleven in the
morning, LAX was packed. It was one of the busiest airports in the
world, but I guess it just took me by surprise that it was so busy on a
Tuesday morning.
Before leaving the secured area, I stopped in the ladies room to check
my appearance. Hair and makeup—check. Adding more lipstick and
fluffing my hair—check. Black silk Elie Tahari suit looking somewhat
impeccable—check. Awesome turquoise kitten heels—check.
As I stepped off the escalator, I searched for my driver. Of course, he or
she was nowhere to be found. I was starting to pull out my phone when
I saw Matthew casually leaning against a concrete pillar. His arms were
folded across his broad chest, and I had a momentary lapse of. .well,
any thought.
Holy. Shit.
That was definitely not the boy I remembered from high school.
There was a languid look to him that had me absolutely mesmerized. I
stopped in front of him, and he gave me a lazy, yet extremely sexy,
smile. His auburn hair was messily styled, probably with some store
brand gel. He wore a basic T-shirt in a drab green, but it looked good on
him. He seemed to have filled out in the years that I hadn' t seen him.
He wore a pair of relaxed, straight leg jeans with black Chucks. For an
executive, his style was a bit too casual.
"Lotte!" he drawled, pulling me in for a surprise hug. I cringed as I
always had at the horrible nickname he'd given me when I was
fourteen.

And Matthew and I were never touchy feely, so this was odd.
I looked up at him, noticing all the various changes in his face. He was
a couple years older than me, so the crinkles around his eyes were a bit
more pronounced. His tanned face looked bronzed but healthy. His
eyes were still the color of the Mediterranean Sea. But his hair had
darkened slightly into a reddish brown. He was model beautiful.
Damn...
I found myself being pulled into those pools of blue before his chuckle
woke me up. I wasn't sure if my mouth was propped wide open or if
drool was dripping down the side, but I needed to get my hormones
under control, and fast.
Clearing my throat, I said, "You know how much I hate that nickname,
Matty."
Matthew stood back and studied me for a minute. "Wow, Charlie,
you've grown up." His gaze started at my shoes and slowly traveled up
my legs, my hips, over my chest, and finally landed on my face, when
he gave me a brilliantly white smile. I felt my heart zing a little.
He kept shaking his head, trying to say something that just wouldn't
come out. The way he was staring, I was starting to feel self-conscious.
I smoothed a hand down my suit jacket. "So where are we heading?"
Matthew cleared his throat. "I thought we could grab lunch at a Middle
Eastern place not too far from here. We should be able to talk
there."
I nodded when his hand lightly brushed mine, causing a ripple of
surprise as he took my laptop bag and led me toward the parking lot.
What he walked me to looked like a prop out of a movie set. My jaw hit
the ground. The machine was all sleek silver and chrome, like a car of a
science fiction movie. Flashy but beautiful.
"Joey's doing really well," he mentioned simply with a shy smile.
I let out a short laugh. That was an understatement. Joey was doing
more than well if he could buy this obnoxious thing for his manager
and best friend. Realizing my ex-boyfriend was loaded had never once
crossed my mind. But now as I thought about it, I wasn't sure what I'd

be walking into. Money changed people. Had Joey changed? And just
how much had he changed?
The butterflies in my stomach started acting up again. Maybe lunch
wasn't in the cards for me today.
Matthew leaned over me and opened the door, jarring me from my
thoughts while helping me into the low-riding car. I caught a whiff of
his cologne mixed with the clean scent of his soap, then I closed my
eyes and inhaled. When I sat down, I melted into the softest, creamiest
leather seat. It enveloped yet cushioned me comfortably.
Matthew folded his long legs into the driver's seat and started the car
with the push of a button. The engine practically purred, it was so quiet.
This beauty put my Jetta to shame.
"What kind of car is this?" I asked, stroking the leather seat.
Looking over at me, he signaled to pull out of the parking spot. "Do you
remember that car Justin Bieber got for his eighteenth
birthday?"
I shrugged and shook my head.
"Well, this is it." He grinned and winked at me, then clarified, "Um, not
his, but mine. I don't know where his is," he cracked. "It's a Fisker
Karma. Completely electric and a very sweet ride."
"Huh," was all I could say, nodding. It was an impressive thing.
After that, we drove in silence. Being in such a small space with
Matthew—after having no contact in five years—was definitely
awkward, and I was wondering what the hell was going on with Joey.
Had Matthew told him already?
Rubbing my forehead, I sighed. What kind of shit did my father get me
into?
Matthew parked in front of a seedy-looking building, and I frowned.
From the sign on the place, I gathered this was our lunch stop. Looking
around the neighborhood, I could tell no hotel concierge would ever
send me here. But seeing as Matthew was considered a local, he
probably knew where the good food was.
He caught my frown. "It doesn't look like much, but the food is
delicious."
The restaurant was fairly quiet since it was still just before the

lunch rush. The lunch crowd wouldn't be making its way out for at least
an hour.
I was studying the menu above the counter when Matthew leaned down
to speak into my ear, causing goose bumps to ripple down my spine.
What the hell is going on with me?
He grinned, and I wondered if he could tell how he affected me. "The
falafel here is the best around. I suggest you order the plate."
Taking his suggestion, I ordered my meal with a bottle of water. Once
the food was ready, we found an empty, quiet table in a corner so we
could discuss things. I was starving, and the smell of curry and roasted
lamb invaded my senses. My nausea from earlier had subsided, and I
couldn' t wait to dig in.
"So how did you end up here?" Matthew asked, opening his arms wide
around him.
"I' m not sure what you mean," I said, taken by surprise.
"What I mean, Charlie, is how did you end up as the publicist for
Joey?" He tilted his head, giving me a conflicted look, then he started
moving his rice around on his plate before digging in.
I bit my bottom lip. For some reason that made him smile. What was he
thinking? I couldn't stop wondering. Did he think I asked for this case?
Did he think I was on a mission to get Joey back?
"Joey is my first client, truth be told," I said after I swallowed a piece of
the falafel. "I started working for my dad's company after I graduated
college. And early yesterday, he pulled me into his office and literally
threw Joey's file at me."
Watching Matthew eat was a bit of an orgasmic experience. With each
bite, he'd lift his fork to his lips and practically fuck the utensil. At one
point, I had to force myself to look away before I started getting hot
flashes.
After another sip of water, I placed my fork down and steepled my
hands under my chin.
"Ah, and how did you feel about that?" he finally asked as he wiped his
face with his napkin.
"Truthfully?" I raised my eyebrows, and he nodded for me to

continue. "I was blindsided. I'm not exactly sure I'm the best person for
the job. Our shared history goes back nearly a decade, and he may not
be extremely happy to have me mucking around now in his personal
life. " Sure, people were concerned with Joey's feelings, but mine were
important, too. Dad knew that our breakup was hard and as much as I
tried to get over him, Joey would always be an important part of my
life. However, I couldn't let my feelings get in the way of this. This was
a job to me, and I wanted to be as successful as I could. So Joey might
be mad, he' ll get over it.
Matthew didn't say anything. He just tilted his head, again encouraging
me to continue.
"I' m scared how he'll react," I admitted quietly. "Our breakup wasn't
pretty."
Matthew stared at me. Perhaps the hand I should've played was one that
really didn't care or give a fuck what happened to Joey. But I was
giving him my vulnerable side, and knowing Matthew, I expected him
to jump on that right away. I wished I could be the hard ass that some
people were, but it just wasn't me.
Self-consciously, I looked past Matthew's shoulder and noticed the
clock on the wall. I hadn't realized time had vanished. Literally and
figuratively. It had been three years since I'd seen Joey. And now he
was a grown man, responsible for his actions. Suddenly, a part of me
felt extremely sad as I reached down into my bag to pull out the
damning picture of him pissing in the fountain.
I slid it toward Matthew. "This isn't him. That's not how he was with
me," I said sadly, my eyes conveying the message.
"It's been a while since you've seen him, Charlie." His look barely
softened. "He's not the same person. This industry changes you.
Usually for the worse. The kid you knew isn't the guy he is now."
I swallowed roughly, the falafel feeling like razorblades in my throat.
"You think this person is better?" I was a bit dumbfounded. How much
could a person change from a career?
Matthew leaned forward, his eyes flashing with anger. I couldn't tell if
he was trying to frighten me or get me to back off, but I wouldn't, I
couldn't. I had a job to do.

"I think," he said menacingly, "you really don't have a say what type of
person he's turned into. He's Joey fucking Carino, and the women love
him. His concerts are selling out. He's still on top of the charts, and he's
relevant." He laughed bitterly.
"Yet," I gave him a condescending smile, "if he continues down this
path, he'll be irrelevant because we'll have a dead rock star,
Matthew."
My challenging tone caused him to flinch. "Dammit, Charlie." He ran a
hand down his face. "What the fuck? You don't think I do everything I
can to keep this sort of shit out of the papers? I'm his manager. I do
what I can, when I can. But there are times when even I can't control
him. If you think you can babysit him twenty-four-seven, good fucking
luck."
He took a sip of water, probably to cool down, and I sullenly pulled up
Joey's contract on my iPad, specifically the section that reiterated his
contract would be null and void should he breech the morality clause.
"Pissing in water fountains and showing up drunk at charity events is a
definite breech of this clause," I said in a bitter tone, trying to keep my
voice level since the restaurant was getting busy. "They'll have no
problem negating this if he continues down this path. This is serious,
Matthew. We need to do something now and quickly."
"First off"—he held up his thumb— "he's not going to be happy when
he realizes that you're the publicist. Second of all, he'll be confused
why you're back in his life when you said goodbye three years
ago."
I took a deep breath. Even though I understood—and was wondering
the same thing—it was beginning to piss me off that he was only
worried about Joey. What about me? What about what Joey did to
me?
Hiding my emotions, I put on my professional face. "We'll deal with
the punches as they roll. Let me get some things together. Once I have
them in order, I'll give you a schedule. As to what or how we'll break it
to him, we'll deal with that later." Just like I would deal with my own
issues about seeing Joey.
I picked my fork back up and attacked my now cold rice. I was still

starving, my emotions were all over the place, and I knew Matthew
could see my fork shaking as I tried to take a bite. I had a feeling I
wasn't fooling him with my take-charge attitude.
Watching me eat, he started to say something, then immediately closed
his mouth.
"What?" I snapped.
"It's good to see you," he started carefully, "but I'm concerned about
Joey's state of mind when he sees you. He wasn't exactly the easiest
person to deal with when you two broke up."
"Yeah sure," I said sarcastically, though an old part of me wanted to
believe that he'd been as broken as I was when we split. Then again, he
couldn't have been that upset with the pictures of him partying and
hooking up with various women all over the trash rags. "That's what
happens when you cheat," I mumbled.
Matthew just raised an eyebrow at me. "And there weren't any guys at
school that caught your attention?"
I scowled. "If you're asking if I cheated on Joey that would be a no. I
was too busy with classes. Not every mouse plays when the cat's
away," I said snidely.
Eyes blazing, Matthew threw his dirty napkin on his empty plate. I
presumed lunch was over.
I sighed. This was going to be a long day.

five
I was wound tight after my meeting with Matthew, and I wasn't sure
how the meeting with the representatives at the record label was about
to go. To be fair, they were the ones that hired my dad's company to
restore Joey's reputation. I only hoped they didn't know the history
between Joey and me.
Thankfully, things went well with them. My dad had already filled
them on what I would and wouldn't be willing to negotiate. My first
order of business was to prove that Joey Carino could show up at events
sober and ready to not be so obnoxious and offensive. I mentioned that
Joey would be working pro-bono for an outpatient drug recovery center
once a week. After that was completed, I would pull together an album
signing at a local record store that had been around forever and was one
of the first places to showcase Joey when he first made it big. I wanted
the label to know that I meant business, and I would get Joey's image
cleaned and polished before his concert. It was Andrew's idea letting
me know that Joey could volunteer at a drug rehab. The label and I
decided that we'd keep the volunteer work quiet, but we'd market the
hell out of the album signing.
My next point of order was to beg, plead, and perhaps steal to get Joey
on the biggest morning drive radio show in L.A. His fans needed to
know that he was doing okay, and getting him that sort of exposure
would work wonders in his favor.
I was feeling extremely confident, but knew I had a lot of work to do
leading up to his big concert in a few weeks. If Matthew or I could at
least keep Joey on the straight and narrow 'til then, our jobs would be
done.

After an exhausting day of flying and dealing with Matthew and the
record label, I was terribly worn out. I was excited about getting Joey
booked at an eclectic record store called Hi-Fi Records. It was at one
time one of the most successful stores in L.A., and since the downturn
on the economy, it struggled, but the manager found ways to keep
things fresh and new. So when I called her about bringing Joey in, she
jumped on it.
Tapping the pencil against my desk, I breathed a sigh of relief. Hi-Fi
Records had been targeting the indie/alternative audience since the Sex
Pistols and The Clash broke onto the world scene in the 70s. It was a
constant institution in the L.A., area and it would be a perfect location
for our meet and greet.
Clara mentioned that they hadn't done much live stuff in a while
because people were either getting their stuff online or illegally
downloading it. But the few and faithful that came looking for vintage
vinyl and a bargain would be excited to see Joey Carino. I gave her a
few tentative dates, needing to firm it up with Matthew. I was so
excited to get that part of the job done, I raised my hands in the air
shimmying to the music in my mind's ear. The next call would take
place in the morning, I'd offer Joey's services to Mount Hill rehab
services. This was one job he wouldn't be getting out of.
Joey and I hadn't seen each other in so long, and the last time we did, it
wasn't pleasant. I had no idea how he'd react to me being back in the
picture. I knew he wasn't dating anyone specifically, just playing the
field like the typical rock star. But I still had my qualms. We didn't
exactly separate on the best of terms. It wasn't an ugly drag 'em out
fight, but my heart was shattered, and Joey tried hard to win me back,
but I knew he was ready to move on to bigger and better things. It was a
few weeks after we'd broken up when Joey called me begging me to

give him another chance.
"Babe, " he rasped as I groggily answered the phone. We were on a
three-hour time difference.
"Joey? " I rubbed my tired eyes and fiddled around with the switch on
the lamp. "What—why are you calling? " I asked tiredly.
"I miss you, Charlie. So, so much. I can't stand this. I can't stand not
being with you. " I detected a bit of a drunken slur to his words. I
rubbed my hand across my face and tried to keep the tears that were
threatening to form at bay. I also didn' t need to wake up my roommate
who was sound asleep in the other twin bed.
" Joey, you can' t do this to yourself or to me. It' s not fair. We can' t go
back to what we had, ever. " I sounded angrier than Ifelt, but this call in
the middle of the night couldn' t happen again.
"Charlie, please, just give me..."
I cut him off. "No, Joey. I can't and I won't. What's done is done, and I'd
appreciate if you didn't call me again. " I hated saying those words. I
was a liar and a fool, and I started shaking all over. The few tears that
dripped from my eyes traveled down my cheeks to my chin. I had to bit
my lip to keep the sob from spilling out.
"You can't mean that, Charlie. It's us. It's always been us, " he begged.
"Until it was you and someone else, " I added defiantly.
"It was a mistake, " he said softly. "A completely fucked-up mistake
caused by too much whiskey. I promise you it won't happen again. "
This time I sighed out loud. " Joey, I' m going back to sleep, and I
suggest you do the same or whatever it is you' re doing. I have a class
first thing in the morning. " I yawned.
He never said goodbye or see ya. He hung up the phone and that was
the last conversation I had with him.
I had to shake my head to escape my memories. I wouldn't allow them
to pull me under. I was strong and resilient. I was determined.
I sent all of the information to Matthew in a brief email, along with a
request that we have a sober Joey present. Less than five minutes later,
he responded.

Charlie,
Of course we can work around these dates. As long as it doesn't
interfere with his rehearsal schedule for the Bowl, we should be good
to go. Just let me know the next time you plan to be in town. Still haven't
mentioned anything to Joe. I'll keep this on the down low for the time
being, but not exactly sure what his reaction will be.
See you soon.
Matthew Johns
I closed the lid to my laptop with a stressed but hopeful sigh and
watched Paco, my droopy-eyed basset hound, hungrily staring at me.
He'd always been good at sensing my distress, and snuggling was his
comfort strategy of choice. Unfortunately, a fifty-pound dog isn't
exactly a lap pet.
Still, he turned his drooly jowls and sad brown eyes to me for affection.
"What am I going to do, Paco?" I scratched behind his ears. He turned
his head toward my voice. "It's been a long time, and I'm not sure if I'll
be able to help him." Paco opened his mouth like he was just about to
respond, but all that came out was a low howl letting me know that I
was indeed scratching the spot that he loved.
I glanced around the apartment, exhaling again. This wasn't going to
work. With an ache in my chest, I realized I was going to have to settle
Paco with the parents while I went back and forth to L.A. As much as I
hated leaving my little sidekick, I had a job to do, and Dad had
expectations that I would be successful. I just wished he knew how
much stress I was feeling.
On Wednesday, Dad stopped in my office to interrogate me on my

day trip to L.A.
"How'd everything go?" he asked as I puttered around my office, trying
to clean off a chair for him. Like my dad, I was famous for stacks and
piles and no clue where to put them. However, unlike my dad, I knew
exactly what was in each stack. Only thing that drove my Dad crazy
was the tapping of my pencil or pen on anything I could. It'd been a
quirk of mine since I was little, and it's become more pronounced as I'
ve gotten older.
"I met with Matthew yesterday morning. We had an okay chat. I've got
some things in the pipeline for Joey. We'll start damage control as soon
as possible. If we stop the bleeding now, he can save face. I'm not
expecting it to be easy, but it'll get done." I smiled at him.
My father cleared his throat. "Did you see Carino?"
I just shook my head. "We've—Matthew and I—decided that we'll
break it to him gently." I offered, clasping my hands in front of me.
"Don't exactly want him flying off the handle. I think he'll work with
me because he knows that it's the right thing to do." I scrunched my
nose at him.
Dad just nodded his head, I wasn't sure what he was thinking, and it
bothered me. "You know you can always come to me if anything
happens that you can't control. I'll pull you off this case if it gets to be
too much." The look on his face softened. I may be a co-worker, but I
was still his only daughter.
I slumped down in my chair. Thankfully, Dad was all about comfort for
employees, so the chair was very comfortable. "I really don't think it'll
come to that, but thanks."
"No problem, kiddo." He rapped on my desk with his fingertips as he
gave me his best impassive face. "Let's get together late this afternoon
to discuss the next course of action."
"Sounds good. Four-ish?" I asked.
He nodded. When he was gone, I could finally breathe. Only in a
professional setting could my dad rattle my nerves. I needed to be
strong and show no fear in front of my dad. It wasn't easy, and I
suspected he knew just what I was dealing with. If he had any qualms
about this, I don't think for one minute he'd make me do this. A slight
smirk flitted

across my face. Dad was smart, and he knew exactly what he was
doing.
Finally, Matthew's assistant got back to me later that afternoon with a
definitive date for the record store, and I also managed to make some
headway with a local radio station willing to interview Joey and hand
out a few concert tickets to lucky winners. Now I just needed to talk to
the record company about how to go about getting free or VIP tickets
for concerts.
I wanted to book Joey with this station because it was the biggest in
L.A., and the morning team was by far the best in the country. People
would be listening to Joey as they drove to work and worked out, and
hopefully it would provide some buzz for his upcoming concert. If I
could garner interest from different outlets in the L.A. area, we'd be on
our way to changing Joey's oft-maligned behavior. It would take some
finagling and finesse, but I thought with the things in the pipeline, we'd
create a marketing gem.
Throughout the week, dealing with Matthew's assistant, Debbi, over
email or the phone wasn't ideal. I'd call, he'd be in a meeting. I'd call
back, he was at lunch. I'd call and call, Debbi was probably getting sick
of me. I was there. I was getting pissed off and people in my office
could see my rage in my body language.
Finally, on Thursday at three, Matthew called. "You need VIP tickets?"
was the first thing he said.
I blinked my surprise. Stupid fucker. "Hello to you too, Matthew."
"Hey," he grunted, which made me want to throw something at him
through the phone. He could be extremely frustrating at times.
"I know you're busy, I'm just as busy trying to clean up your star's act,"
I reminded him. When he sighed into the receiver, I had to grit my teeth
to keep my irritation in check. "I just need to shore up these dates, get
the information to the printers, to Clara at the record store, and finally
beg KLAZ to pick a slot to showcase Joey." Who put the gigantic stick
up his butt?
"I'll look through his calendar," he said, sounding bored. "We just have
to make sure that he has plenty of time to rehearse. Some of the band
members are new, and we need to deal with that. The date that Debbi
sent you for the record store is firm. Just book it. I'll see what I

can do about the radio station. I might be able to pull some strings."
"Thanks," I muttered. "And the concert tickets for winners?"
"I'll work that out with the station as well. Anything else?" I was being
dismissed.
"No, that's all for now," I bit out, ready to end the call. If he didn't want
to talk to me, I didn't want to talk to him. "I'll schedule a meeting
through Debbi for the two of us tomorrow. You haven't forgotten I'm
coming in tomorrow?" From the earlier conversation, I could tell that
he' d forgotten. How was I supposed to deal with this guy when he
could barely give me the time of day? Rolling my eyes, I was getting
more and more livid with each breath I heard through the phone.
"Yes, I remembered. I've been busy," he said, voice thick with emotion.
I was about to question him about his tone with me, but instead said a
quick goodbye and hung up before I completely lost my cool. I' ll leave
this for another day. I had thought Monday went well, but three days
later, and suddenly, it's a completely different story. He's a different
guy than the gorgeous creature I remembered from the airport. I just
shook my head and sighed loudly. Looking at the clock, I realized that I
was due to meet with my dad in a few minutes. Closing my eyes, I took
a deep, calming breath to bring me a sense of serenity. Dealing with
Matthew and my blood pressure was through the roof. Meeting with
Dad? Well, I needed a Xanax.

On Thursday night, I dropped Paco off at Mom and Dad's. It was the
least they could do since both of them thought it would be a great idea
to assign me this client. I think Mom knew I was annoyed with
everybody, so she stayed quiet during dinner. Dad was his usual self.
He was flipping through a trade magazine that was delivered to the
house. In his job, he always needed to be on top of his game.
Thankfully, Paco had been here thousands of times, so I knew I could
leave him in good hands, even if they'd sneak him table scraps here and
there.
"Oh!" my mom exclaimed when she was picking up the dinner dishes.
"I saw Stefanie Cramer the other day. She asked about you."
My eyebrows quirked up. Stefanie and I were really tight in elementary
school and all through high school until we both went in different
directions for college. She stayed here in Arizona and I went to Boston.
I hadn't heard from Stefanie in so long, I'd honestly thought she fell off
the edge of the world. "Huh," I muttered, "how is Stefanie?"
Mom smiled and collected more dishes. How she managed to carry
them all and not break a one was a talent that I hoped to have when I
was doing this mom stuff because I know that she's never waited tables
in her life. "She's doing really well. Engaged to a banker in Beverly
Hills. I mentioned you were going to be in L.A., and she gave me her
number. I thought you could give her a call and have lunch together."
I grimaced as my dad continued reading the paper. He was absolutely
no help. "I don't know, Mom. I'm going to be busy and lunch with her
may not fit in my schedule."
She headed into the kitchen with the dishes, and I could hear her place
them in the sink to soak. When she returned to the dining room, she had
an open bottle of wine with her.

She poured each of us a glass. "I think you should consider meeting up
with her. You need an ally in L.A., and she was one your best friends in
high school."
I took a giant sip and put the glass down clumsily. "Yes, Mom, in high
school. I haven't talked to her in nearly five years." Normally I wouldn't
cop an attitude, but the time apart between me and Stefanie was
significant. I honestly didn't know anything about her anymore.
Mom frowned. "That's what happens when you grow up and apart, but
it' s important to have life-long friends who you can depend on, as
well." She gave me that knowing look, and I knew she wouldn't let up
on this subject until she had an answer that satisfied her. My mom was
a pit bull on steroids. If she wanted something done, it was done. I
loved my mom, and she was a great person to talk to at times, but when
she got like this, she could be damn near impossible. As I looked over
at her, I realized my dad didn't have a choice as to who he assigned
Joey. Mom had her way, as usual.
I groaned a bit. "I'll look at my schedule and see what I can do. But I
can't make any promises. Give me her number."
Mom clapped her hands, and Dad just stayed in his seat, reading his
paper. But I could see his eyes crinkle with laugh lines, and he knew
exactly who won this one. Bastard. Wouldn't even save his own
daughter. I loved my family, and as much as Mom could nose herself
into any situation, I knew that it was done with love and affection. Even
if it was misguided. As much as I'd love to see Stefanie, I really needed
to expend all my energy on dealing with Joey and Matthew. Looking at
my dad, I knew I was being ridiculous in my thinking, but I wanted to
prove myself to him. Make him proud of me. I just smiled back at him.
Oh, Dad...
I stayed for a bit longer to make sure Paco was settled, then I hightailed
it home. I still needed to pack, and I was so scatterbrained that I needed
to make a list of shit I needed. I knew I'd need a couple of cocktail
dresses, but mainly I'd wear my business attire. Perhaps for the meet
and greet, I'd go business casual—nice jeans with heels. I didn't want to
look completely out of place.
When I finished packing, I closed up my suitcase and headed over

to my laptop. I hadn't checked any of the entertainment sites today to
see if Joey had been about town in L.A. Going through links, I
managed to catch one that was taken earlier in the evening. Joey sat in a
local eatery, with a dark-haired woman whose back was to the camera.
I could see to the left of the woman and right of Joey, Matthew was
seated at the same table. Joey's smile lit up the page. I clicked through
some other links with Joey Carino's name, and it just brought me back
to the same photos I' d already seen. My only question was—if this was
a romantic dinner, why would Joey have Matthew around? I never did
ask Matthew if Joey had a girlfriend that I should know about. I posted
a note in my calendar to ask Matthew when I saw him tomorrow.
Letting out a somewhat irritated breath, I pushed away from the
computer. I knew I had no right to be jealous where Joey was
concerned, but still the thought of him in a relationship while I
wasn't...well it hurt. Just a bit.
I knew I was going to have to get a handle on how he conducted his
private life. Even if this woman was his girlfriend, they'd need to learn
that, wherever they went, the paparazzi would be there to capture
everything. And by everything, I meant everything.
Rubbing my eyes, I leaned over the table and shut the computer down.
This was going to be a long fucking week. One thing that stuck out,
though, was that it didn't bother me seeing Joey with another woman.
As much as I had been dreading this upcoming week—and seeing him
for the first time in three years—I thought I was ready for it.
Closing my laptop, I stuck it in the bag and headed off to bed, where I
hoped I would have a dreamless sleep.
With a minor delay out of Sky Harbor, my flight finally took off, and
with just a short hop to LAX, I was there within an hour. Thankfully,

I was able to text Matthew that I was running a bit behind. We'd both
planned to hit up the record store to meet with Clara and talk to the
general manager of the radio station. Ideally, we wanted to get the
giveaway going soon and have Joey on the air, either the day or a few
days before his big concert. There was some buzz going on in L.A.
about him returning to his home turf. Even though we'd all grown up in
Arizona, L.A. embraced Joey like their own when he made it big. The
dive bars and various other places allowed him to play while making a
name for himself.
Walking through the airport, I looked around at other business
professionals in three-piece Armani suits and women in gorgeous
Louboutin's. This time, I'd dressed more casually, wearing a pair of
skinny jeans, with a bright blue tank top and loose white sweater, along
with ballet flats because I didn't feel like dealing with heels tonight. I
knew I should've expected Matthew to meet me. No matter how many
times I asked for a car service or told Debbi I could take a cab, he was
right there in the same location as before. The difference was the smile
on his face brightened as I traveled down the escalator.
Watching him watch me was weird. For the most part, we had rarely
been able to stay in the same room with each other. But now that we
were older, and having to work with each other on a daily basis, I guess
I could let go of our past differences. But only if he didn't start up with
his torments and indignation. I was no longer Joey's girlfriend, so he
really didn't have any reason to be rude to me. And if he was, well, that
was going to be a bit of a problem.
I' d never done anything to Matthew, and I was never able to figure out
why he disliked me so much. While Joey and I dated, I knew that he
hated being the third wheel, but I felt that way too, most times. It wasn't
that Matthew didn't have girlfriends. The guy was famous for his
extra-curricular activities, during school and probably now. But every
time the two of us were in a room together, the fireworks would start. I
couldn't figure it out. Why hadn't things changed? Why couldn't he
move past this, whatever the hell it was about me that bothered him so
fucking much?
In the past, it usually went like this: Matthew would say something

nasty about me, I'd retaliate, and Joey would try to smooth things over.
But eventually, I would storm out of whatever kegger we were at.
Staring at Matthew now, I noticed he was sexy as hell, with his tall
frame, good hair, and nonchalant attitude. He was wearing his typical
jeans and T-shirt, but his muscular arms and broad chest created tiny
little blips in my heartbeat. I had never reacted to him this way before.
Joey was always considered the 'hot' one, with his crooked smile and
greener than green eyes that he'd gotten from his pure Irish-blooded
mom. But he also received his dark, dark looks from his dad. With
Joey's fiery, Irish temper and his easy-going Italian father's attitude, he
could be extremely unpredictable.
With a shake of my head, I stepped off the escalator, saying to myself
what I'd said over and over on the plane—Joey was a client, and I was a
professional. Falling back into bed with him would be bad for everyone
involved. Before, Joey was everything to me, and even though it's been
three years, my feelings about him haven't changed much. But I knew
that the trust issue would pose a problem. But that was my issue and not
his.
"Hey, Charlie," Matthew greeted me casually.
I smiled, trying not to get lost in his improbable blue eyes. "Hey." I
could feel a blush starting to creep across my cheeks. If he noticed, he
didn' t say anything. I asked him, "So where are we heading?"
Matthew reached for my laptop bag and started walking through
baggage. I' d checked my larger suitcase and needed to wait for it. "I
thought we'd hit up the radio station first, discuss how many tickets
they want to give away, find out when they want to start the concert,
that sort of stuff."
I nodded, wondering if I should've been writing this down on my iPad.
"And Hi-Fi Record Shoppe?" We were quiet while waiting on my
luggage. I was thinking of questions to ask the radio station, and I also
wanted to talk to Matthew about the rehab thing.
After about ten minutes, the alarm went off, and the baggage carousel
started moving. I grabbed my suitcase and started following Matthew
as he made his way to the parking garage.
"I thought we could go there after lunch. Then we have a thing that

we need discuss. Over drinks?" he finally said after an interminable bit
of silence.
I twitched my lips, figuring what he wanted to discuss was how we
were going to break it to Joey that I would be his right-hand woman for
the foreseeable future. I gulped when I realized exactly what we'd be
discussing. My heart fell into my stomach, and I could feel the
butterflies wending their way through. I might have even started
sweating.
"Sure," I tried to say brightly. "Drinks sound great."
He looked sideways at me with a sly grin on his face, which in turn
made me wonder what he was up to. It took a few minutes to get to the
car. I was surprised when the car he brought today was a Jeep
Wrangler. I shot him a look of confusion, to which he responded with a
slight shrug of his toned muscles. It was then I realized he probably
only brought out the big guns (i.e., the Fisker Karma) to throw around
his success. I'd have to give it to him, I guess. He did become
successful without the advantage of a four-year degree. He was making
million-dollar deals on Joey's behalf, and he seemed to be good at it.
We rode in companionable silence to the radio station.
After a few minutes of dead silence, we pulled into the parking lot of
the radio station. Matthew put the car into park and leaned his right arm
against my headrest. Turning toward me. "Jason Ealey is the program
director for the station. He's the one we have to go through to get Joey
on. I don't see an issue." Matthew's eyes drifted down toward my lips.
Weird. "Joey's hot and relevant right now. Getting him on the morning
show might be a harder sell as they book talent weeks in advance, and
we' re basically dumping a celebrity on them. Again, I don't think it's an
issue, but we need to be prepared to get what we want."
All I could do was nod. He'd probably done this plenty of times, and
here I was a complete newbie. I mean I listened to my dad talk about
various meetings during our dinners while growing up, and I knew that
sometimes he'd have to grease a few palms to get what he wanted for
whichever client. I just never thought I'd be on this end of the business.
It wasn't exactly something that I wanted to 'grow up' to be. Princess
was always my number one job as a kid. It was a harsh blow of reality
at

about the age of eight when I realized that would never happen. I
thought wryly.
I checked myself once more in the passenger mirror as Matthew exited.
I was surprised when he came over to my door and helped me out.
Matthew's brows shot up as one leg left the truck then the other. Had I
been wearing a skirt, he'd get a good look at my long legs. I shivered at
the thought of Matthew starting at my legs, but I said nothing.
The radio station was in a non-descript, square warehouse located in
the heart of L.A. Most of the cars in the parking lot looked like they
should've been in an expensive showroom somewhere.
Once we entered the lobby, I was amazed at what I saw. There was a
wall that probably had thousands of autographs, handprints, and even a
few kiss prints of the stars that had come through these doors. A few
security guards manned a station near the receptionist. Matthew walked
right up to the young girl at the desk, flashed his dazzling smile, and I
swore she just about came in her panties. Within seconds, we were
being led to an elevator. I found myself having a hard time keeping up
with Matthew's long strides.
Marilyn Taylor who was Jason's assistant, ushered us into Jason
Ealey's office. From the moment we sat down, Matthew lost the fun
aspect of himself and became all business. It was quite fascinating
watching him shut off that part of him.
"Jason, this is Charlie Banks." Matthew nodded at me. "She'll be
working closely with Joey for the time being, and I was hoping that you
would accord her the same respect that you would Joe or myself."
Jason was an older guy with a bit of a beer gut and balding on top, but
he seemed friendly enough. I didn't think I'd have a problem with
respect.
"Of course, of course, Matthew," he replied warmly. "I'm not a tyrant,
you know. " He focused on the two of us. "However, we book talent in
advance, and trying to move things around can mess up the dynamic of
the studio." Jason folded his hands on his desk as if he was done
speaking. However, I wasn't done with what I wanted.
Clearing my throat, I stepped forward and tried to sound

professional. "Mr. Ealey, I understand this is short notice, and I
normally wouldn't ask for any favors, but it's in our client's best interest
to get him on this station during the morning drive. We'd prefer to have
him on the morning of his sold-out concert in Hollywood. We're
offering a prize package to your listeners for each DJ's time slot, and
we'll throw in a few free tickets for staff who want to attend." At that,
Matthew's head shot up to me with a look of confusion.
Jason leaned back in his seat, folding his hands across the back of his
neck. There was a gleam in his eye that said he was about to barter with
us. I could tell he was chewing on what I just offered. Out of the corner
of my eye, Matthew's head shook slightly. I wasn't sure if he was
laughing or annoyed with me. He kept those emotions close to the vest.
"So you're willing to buy his way onto our most popular and busiest
slot. Um, I also know damn well that his show is far from sold out."
Jason gave me a pointed look, but I brushed it off.
I pressed forward, slightly calmer, showing him my brightest 'you bet
your ass' smile. "That would be ideal, and it would get the word out that
this is the concert to attend this year."
Jason raised his eyebrows and shifted his gaze. "Matthew, what are
your thoughts? How come you've never come to me with this proposal
before?"
Matthew nervously cleared his throat. "As you know, Joey does very
minimal press work. However, this is all Ms. Banks's doing. She's
doing this to try to clean up his negative press as of late." With a sly
look at me, he continued. "To tell you the truth, I'm not even sure if
Joey will agree to this."
What. The. Fuck?
My eyebrows shot up into my forehead as I twisted in my seat to glare
at him. Jason grinned at the two of us. He found it funny that we weren't
on the same page. I thought this was only going to be hard on the studio
front. I hadn't even considered Matthew might put the kibosh on my
work. I felt heat creeping into my cheeks. I was pissed. no, that wasn't
the right word. Furious, that's more like it. I felt like I'd been duped by
Matthew, and here Jason was watching the two of us silently
communicate, and he was laughing it up.

I turned my steely eyes back to Jason. There was a false hope to my
tone, but I couldn't help it. "Mr. Ealey, what Matthew is not telling you,
is that I have every expectation that Joey Carino will be here for his
interview, and he will be stone-cold sober. I will personally deliver him
to you in his goddamn pajamas if I have to," I said a bit more angrily
than I should've.
Jason turned to Matthew with a chuckle. "You've got a ferocious little
tiger on your hands here."
Matthew glanced at me, surprised and a little of something else that I
couldn't decipher. I just sat straighter in my chair and looked straight
ahead. Ignoring him and his fucking asshole attitude.
"So Mr. Ealey," I forced a smile, "do we get Joey on your show, or am
I wasting everyone's time here?" He wanted a tiger? Well, the claws
were coming out.
When Jason opened his laptop and brought up a calendar program, I
tried not to leap out of my seat with a celebratory dance. Instead, I
pressed a sweaty hand down my jeans and lifted my chin. We'd given
him a few dates prior to our meeting, and I was hoping for the final day
in our dates. That would be the morning of the show. Perfect buzz for
Joey.
"We have Kitty Sullivan scheduled on August tenth, but we've just
found out that her movie is being delayed by a few weeks. Some
post-production issues." He glanced up at me. "We can get him in then.
But he needs to show up, and he needs to be cooperative." He pointed a
long finger at me.
A giant smile of victory played at the edge of my lips as I silently gave
myself a fist pump. "You have nothing to worry about, Mr. Ealey. He
will be here with bells on." Then I stood up, effectively ending the
meeting. After shaking Jason's hand, I rushed out of the office,
pumping my fist victoriously as I headed toward the elevator.

s ev en
I made it to the lobby without anyone following me, which for Matthew
was a good thing, because on top of being excited, I was so beyond
pissed at him. If he thought I was going to lay down and just accept
things as they were, well he had another thing coming. There was no
way in hell I would allow him to treat me the way he did in that
meeting. I pushed my way out the front doors without even a goodbye
to the receptionist.
After a few minutes of standing by Matthew's car and debating calling
a cab and being done with him, I saw the idiot jogging toward me. I
turned my back toward him letting him know damn well I was pissed.
"Charlie!" he shouted when he was a few yards away.
I spun around on my heel, dreaming of viciously slapping him. "What
the hell were you doing in there! You undermined everything I've been
trying to do!" I stalked closer to him and shoved at his chest with both
my hands. He barely moved. Damn it!
He ran his right hand through his hair, messing it up. "I've dealt with
Ealey before. I knew that he would play that cat and mouse game with
you for another twenty minutes. If I moved my pawn when I did, I
could block his shot. You got what you wanted, and you're right, it was
underhanded, but it's done, and there's nothing to do about it now. You
got him on the show." He wasn't mad, but he definitely wasn't happy
with my outburst. "I know you can take care of yourself, now. But I
didn't know how you'd react." He started to move away from me.
"You don't undermine how I do my work," I made it a point of poking
his chest as I said every word. Breathing hard. "And make me look like
an incompetent fool. Don't forget that I went through four

years of college to do what I'm doing." I saw him flinch at my remark,
but I was too angry to think of anything else to say.
Matthew stared at me, his face bright red with the fury I felt a few
minutes ago. He was millimeters from my face as he growled, "Don't
you dare throw that education crap at me. I've made more money in the
four years you've been in school making nothing and spending Daddy's
money. I work hard for Joey, and it pays off. I may not have a goddamn
degree, but I'm successful in my own right. And if I'm not mistaken, he
is your first fucking client. So don't you go all 'holier than thou' on me."
I knew he was hurt, but I couldn't allow him to railroad me with my
client. I didn't give a shit if he had dealt with Ealey before.
He started to stalk away from me, but I grabbed his arm and spun him
around. "You don't get to be an arrogant asshole to me either. I'm doing
my job, and I know what the fuck," I growled at him, "I'm doing." I
fought off a gulp. I couldn't let him know that I doubted myself. Now
was not the time to show weakness. "If you don't like how I handle
myself, then I'll just go about this alone."
Matthew was breathing hard and staring down at me, then glancing at
my hand that was still on his arm. I quickly dropped my hand and
retreated back, softening my stance a bit. We weren't getting anywhere
by fighting, and we were on the same team. It was time to start acting
like it. "We need to work together." Trying to sound like I meant it.
"Fighting is going to get us nowhere."
Matthew looked down at the ground, kicking a pebble on the concrete.
I wasn't exactly sure what was going through his head, but I stood by
what I said. If I wanted to be able to deal with Joey, we had to be on the
same page.
"Fine," he mumbled, defeated. "We still have the record store. Hop in
the truck."
I frowned at him. That's it? No questions, no arguments, no stunts?
Matthew loved his stunts. I crossed my arms against my chest just
staring at him.
"What?" he said with a bitter attitude. "Get in the fucking truck."
Rolling my eyes, I jumped up into the seat before he threw me in. At
the idea of him touching me, though, I felt heat in my cheeks. Not

again.
"What's your face all red for?" he asked as he started the engine.
"Nothing," I huffed, shoving away those weird thoughts. That was the
last thing I needed. Thinking that Matthew was sexy. What the hell was
that?
Thankfully Clara, the manager of the record store, was expecting us,
and she was much more accommodating. I told her exactly what I
wanted to do and how we could set up the store to have Joey come in
and do few songs, then sign some posters and CD covers. She was
hesitant about the cost, but I assured that we'd pay for everything, even
the extra stock of CDs so we knew there were enough in the store.
Matthew and I walked around the store, checking everything out. I
liked the retro feel of it. They still carried a lot of vinyl and even had a
few old record players so new people could hear the greatness on vinyl.
My parents had a record player when I was younger, but with the
advent of mp3s and CDs, they ended up selling it at a garage sale.
After our initial chat with Clara, I walked around the store looking for
space that would work for us. I really enjoyed the way the store was set
up. She had listening stations for customers to listen to the latest bands
and even some indie bands that she really liked to focus on. Luckily, I
found a spot that was spacious enough and would be perfect for Joey to
set up for an acoustic set. We could get a few chairs in for the
early-comers and have a standing-room-only event. I was excited when
I got back to Clara. She explained how they'd set the shop up. She also
pointed to an area to the side that we could have him sit and meet with
fans. I turned to Matthew, who just shrugged.
I found myself liking Clara a lot. She was your typical record store
manager with multi-colored hair, piercings, and tattoos that ran the

length of both arms. She was tiny, but had a big personality that made
everyone smile. She was extremely friendly and seemed to know a lot
of her customers on a first name basis.
She explained how the store was losing money when she first came
aboard seven years ago, but with the addition of a coffee shop,
including vinyl records, and selling concert tickets, the store bounced
back and was still extremely successful. She worked hard to get the
extras in, but it all worked out for the best. Just talking to her with her
high-pitched voice, made me smile and giggle. She had a great belly
laugh that you wouldn't have imagined by the looks of her. Even
Matthew seemed to enjoy talking to her. And she was definitely
checking him out, but I honestly didn't think they were each other's
types. She seemed a bit more out there, and he was a bit more sedate. I
actually thought Joey might be a good fit for her.
Then I gasped when that thought crossed my mind. Since when did I
start thinking of things like that?
"Are you okay, Charlie?" Matthew asked.
Clara was in the middle of showing me the coffee shop when I'd
stopped suddenly. I shook it off. "Yeah, I'm fine. My brain is working
overtime today." I turned back toward Clara. "I'll be in touch with you
to finalize all the details." I handed her my business card with all my
information. "Call, text, or email me if you have any questions."
She smiled brightly, her eyes crinkling in amusement. "No problem,
Charlie. I'm excited we're doing this here. I think we'll have a great
time, and I'll call a few friends to come by and help if we need it." She
surprised me by giving me a big hug, then turned to Matthew to do the
same. He was taken by surprise, but he walked into her outstretched
arms.
The rest of the day went by normally. There were no more hiccups in
our quest to redeem Joey's reputation. We had lunch at a local deli that
wasn't too far from Matthew's office, then worked a few more hours
back at Matthew's office.
Around five thirty, Matthew stuck his head into the office he set aside
for me. "Wanna hit up the bar?" he asked hopefully.
I took a deep cleansing breath, then sighed. "A drink sounds perfect

right now. Let me just finish up this email to my dad and Andrew, and
I'll meet you at the front desk." He nodded and left.
I purposely didn't tell Dad about the meeting with the program director
of the radio station. I didn't need his lecture, which he was sure to give.
He was only looking out for me, but I had to learn the ropes. Dealing
with all sorts of people, striking the deals, and working under pressure
were all part of it.
Matthew was leaning against the desk when I turned the corner. Debbi
must've left earlier because the place was weirdly quiet. I watched him
as he picked at his finger, waiting for me. It wasn't that I kept him
waiting for a long time, but he looked a bit bored. His feet were
crossed, and his hair was flopping into his face. The whole look made
me smile. He looked really cute and vulnerable that way.
Stop it! Stop that right now. He does not look cute. He's Matthew, the
annoying kid who tortured me all through high school. Don't forget
that.
Okay, maybe my internal speech was overkill, but I couldn't think this
way. He was Joey's best friend, and we were working together.
However, seeing the change in Matthew from just a few years was
staggering. He was considered a good-looking kid in school, but he was
insanely sexy now. Just as my eyes raked over his body, he looked up
and stared right at me. I was embarrassed to be caught studying him,
but how could I not?
A smirk graced his lips. He knew exactly what I'd been doing. "Like
what you see, Charlie?"
"As if," I said with a snotty snort. Seems not much has changed in five
years after all.
He snickered and ushered me out the door.
The bar wasn't busy yet, but as people started getting out of work, I
could tell that it would become packed. Matthew let me know that this
was the place to be seen and to see other 'high profile' names. I just
went with it. The front of the bar was a line of open windows that
extended to a patio-like area. The long bar in the far back was backlit
with blue colored lights. It looked a bit highbrow for a simple drink. I
followed

Matthew as he made his way toward the back by the bar. He then
picked a high-top table for us where we could talk in peace until the
masses descended and music made us go deaf. We both ordered beers
and drank in silence for a moment. I expected Matthew to bring up the
Joey discussion at any moment, but he kept glancing around nervously.
I half-wondered if he was going to bolt as he kept checking his watch.
I raised my eyebrows. "Waiting for something?"
He looked around the bar. "More like someone."
I looked around as well. "What did you do, Matthew?" I asked warily.
"I did," he mentioned in an offhand way, "what I had to do. Joey will be
here soon."
Groaning, I drained my bottle of beer and walked up to the bar to order
another with a shot of tequila. Sustenance, I told myself. I brought both
drinks back to the table.
Matthew looked at the shot and raised an eyebrow.
"Don't you judge!" I snapped. He was grinning at me as I tipped the
shot glass back to my lips and drained the drink.
"Actually," he lowered his voice while staring right at me. "No judging
here. Kinda pissed you only bought one." He got up to get himself one.
As he waited at the bar, I watched as Joey entered and saw Matthew
signal to him.
They talked for a while, and I watched as Matthew nodded his head
toward me. Joey stared at me for an eternity before turning back to
Matthew. They were talking furtively now, hands going back and forth.
I bit my lip, thinking it was not going well. I wasn't sure if he was
pissed that I was here and was about to walk out, or if he would finally
come over to the table. Finally, Joey turned back to me as Matthew was
talking to him. He nodded his head and made his way over. I really
wasn't expecting this tonight and wasn't prepared for anything to
happen. I didn' t have my speech prepared. But still he came tromping
over, looking as gorgeous and soulful as ever. I was biting my lip so
hard, I thought I could taste the tang of blood on my tongue.
I felt a lump in my throat and one thought in my mind. Oh shit. He was
really here.

e ig h t
Perspiration started dripping down my back the closer Joey came. I felt
like all the breath had left my lungs, and I couldn't breathe. Even
though I tried to not stare, I found myself watching him swagger
toward me. I tried taking a deep draught of my beer, but his penetrating
glare stopped me cold. I closed my eyes and did everything I could to
control my breathing. This was Joey. Just Joey. I looked back at him as
he got closer. This was rock star Joey. My head was spinning. I noticed
Matthew bringing up the rear while carrying some shots. I saw that
Joey was holding three beers. If I kept slamming the drinks and shots
back, I'd be flat on my back soon. I hadn't had anything to eat since
lunch, and that was hours ago.
Joey was looking really good tonight. He had on a pair of old, worn
jeans, and a hooded sweatshirt that was halfway zipped up his chest,
with a basic white T-shirt underneath. Back home, he was a
button-down and cargo shorts with Chucks type of teen. Now he was
the rock star, and he looked it. People were even straining over their
drinks to get a look at him. Matthew sat down while Joey continued to
stare at me like I was a ghost. I started to cower under his scrutiny. This
was more than uncomfortable. Matthew pushed the shots toward us,
and Joey finally placed the beers on the table.
I turned to Matthew, who just shrugged. From the conversation they
were having at the bar, I was expecting Joey to start yelling or walk out.
But he did neither, just continued to stare.
"Are we sure he's not catatonic?" I joked trying to lighten the moment.
Joey blinked. "So you are real?" he whispered, standing extremely
close to me, looking like he'd just seen a ghost.

"Yep. In the flesh." I laughed nervously and swallowed.
Joey's lips did that thing where half of his mouth lifted up in a smile. I
loved kissing that side of his mouth. He'd always had sexy lips, and the
sight of them brought back memories that were best long forgotten.
I reached the shot and slammed it back with a grimace. Jack Daniels
this time. "Jesus, Matthew, trying to kill me?" I spat.
I was still unsure about Joey's reaction. Matthew was about to say
something when Joey pulled me to him and slammed his mouth against
mine. I could feel his tongue seeking entrance to my mouth, but I
refused him.
After a split second, I pushed him back. "What the hell, Joe! " Matthew
just studied his friend like he couldn't believe what he
did.
Joey shook his head and finally sat down. "I never thought I'd see you
again, Charlie." He said in a dazed sort of way.
I rubbed the back of my hand across my mouth. I wasn't expecting that,
and although unexpected, it wasn't as bad as I was making it out to be.
However, I couldn't lead him on. "Yeah, well that isn't how you say
hello after three years, either."
Joey took his and Matthew's shot glass and downed them in an instant.
Then he grabbed his beer and took a sip.
Breathing deeply, I looked at both men at the table. My ex and my
worst nightmare. How the hell did I end up here? Well, I guess one of
them didn't quite know that yet. If I had doubts before, they raged
inside of me now. I felt sick to my stomach. I didn't even know what to
say to Joey, and Matthew just sat there, playing with his beer bottle.
Damn coward.
"Now that the two of you have reacquainted" Matthew emphasized
that last word, "I think it's time to discuss some business." He pointed
his beer bottle at Joey.
I stared at Matthew. Even though he was discussing grown-up things,
his tone and behavior were like a jet back to the past. He was in full
sulk mode, like he was the third wheel all over again.
Joey just watched me endlessly, which was starting to make me

extremely uncomfortable. Finally, he glanced at Matthew, and after a
beat he said, "What kind of business?" He frowned, and I could see the
lines on his forehead. As gorgeous as Joey Carino was, I could tell he
was rundown and tired. This business was brutal. It was catching up to
him.
Matthew pointed his beer bottle at me this time. "Um, Charlie has been
hired by the studio to be your publicist. She's in charge of your public
life, friend."
Joey tilted his head back to me. "Charlie?" he questioned.
I sucked in another deep breath and nodded my head. "Dad handed me
your file on Monday morning. I would've turned it down, but he
seemed quite adamant that I handle this one. Matthew and I have been
working all week to get some things going for you. We need to clean up
your lackadaisical attitude and watch how people view you in public."
Joey scratched his neck. "This have to do with the fountain?"
I nodded, suppressing an eye roll. Of course it had to do with the
fucking fountain. How was that a mystery?
"So you're not here for me?" Suddenly, he looked so sad. I could lie and
say that my heart wasn't breaking all over again, because it was. I didn't
want Joey sad to see or to even think that I wasn't here for him in a
personal way. I gave him a tender look.
I shook my head. "Not in the way you think. Joey, that part of us was a
long time ago." I looked down at the warped table. I really didn't want
to have this discussion with Matthew there, as it just wasn't a
conversation to have in bar. Matthew sat back heavily in his seat. "This
is a good thing. Charlie has some good things going for you."
With that, Matthew took control of the meeting, explaining to Joey
what would be happening leading up to the concert. With furtive
glances in my direction, Joey seemed to listen and understand what we
were saying. Of course, trying to tell him to cool it on the alcohol,
drugs, and whatever girl he had on the side seemed a bit personal, but it
was what it was.
"I don't care about the studio, Matt," Joey said quickly. "I'd rather be
done with them and start up our own label. I'm sick and tired of being
under the thumbs of those pricks."

"You don't care about the label?" I cried in surprise. Matthew never
once mentioned that they were looking for a way out. So I turned to
him angrily. "You should've told me that he wanted out. Could've
saved me lot of headaches."
Matthew looked pointedly at Joey. "It's just talk right now. We haven't
discussed anything formally. Besides, he's got a couple of years on his
contract. If we can terminate it on good terms," his pointed look shifted
to a glare, "then we can consider starting up a label. But it's a lot of
moving pieces, and we're not exactly there yet."
Despite the personal nature of the evening, I felt more like myself while
we talked business. I rested my chin in my hand. Starting up their own
label wasn't a bad idea. It would definitely give Joey more creative
control over his work. He wouldn't have to deal with anyone other than
himself and Matthew and anyone else they brought aboard.
Joey seemed excited about the prospect. "We have a few local bands
lined up. Some are really good and just need a bit more exposure. We
would give them a platform." I could tell how excited he was talking
about this. "There's this girl band that rocks harder than any other band
in the world, and they've been selling out their shows lately."
His excitement was infectious. I sat straighter and felt a nervous but
good buzz in my stomach. "Is this what you want to do? Scout?
Manage?" I asked Joey.
He gave me a sheepish smile, something I wasn't used to from him.
"Yeah, eventually. I mean, I love performing, but the touring schedule
is grueling. I was hoping to take a break after the Hollywood Bowl, but
turns out the label wants me in Japan for a few dates."
I looked back at Matthew. "Why didn't I know this? What are you
doing to give him time off?" I said angrily. This could change
everything that I was working for.
Matthew lifted his hands in defense. "I've been doing everything in my
power to give him time. The label is difficult. Joey's a commodity, and
they want to make money."
"Shit," I swore, throwing my hands in my lap. "None of this was in the
file." I gave Joey my attention again. "Listen, Joey, I'll do what I can to
make things go more smoothly for the time being. Like Matthew said,

I've set up a few things." Joey raised his hand, but I effectively cut him
off. "It's nothing you can't do. We have a small impromptu signing and
acoustic set at Hi-Fi Record Shoppe, and then KLAZ will interview
you the morning of the concert. They' re also giving away tickets to
contest winners. It's all been negotiated, and all you have to do is show
up. I've also set you up to volunteer at an outpatient rehab facility," I
added on quickly. I hadn't even had a chance to tell Matthew about it.
And by the looks on the faces of the two men, I really did take them by
surprise.
Matthew spoke first. "Why," he said through clenched teeth, "am I just
hearing about this right now?"
I tried to give an impish smile, but I knew that wouldn't work. "I just
didn't know how to present it to you." I shrugged my shoulders, trying
to be as nonchalant as possible.
"I guess I'm not the only one keeping secrets then, right Charlie?"
Matthew fumed at me. Joey's head bounced back and forth like
Matthew and I were a tennis match.
"Well fucking dropping this on us like that is definitely not the way to
go." Matthew's hand slapped on the wooden table. I rubbed my tired
head, trying to think of something, anything, to say in rebuttal, but he
was right. I should've told him during lunch, and I was regretting every
minute that I kept it quiet.
"It's a done deal, Joey. They're expecting you on Saturday morning," I
said softly.
"I need to think about it," Joey replied, finishing off his beer. "I mean,
Jesus Christ, my ex-girlfriend is going to be around me all the fucking
time. I need to think this through, I hope you understand." He tried to
sound calm and collected, but I could tell the storm was brewing behind
those green eyes.
"You," I said as professionally as possible, "don't have any time to
think, and really don't have any say in it. It's a done deal, Joey." I took a
deep breath and went in for what could be the professional kill. "Our
relationship shouldn't even come up. It's all in the past." I was trying to
tell him that it wouldn't bother me, so it shouldn't bother him, but my
pointed look seemed to go over his head.
I bit my lip as he rubbed both hands down his face, something he

did when he wasn't sure what to do. I had him between a rock and a
hard place, and part of me felt bad, but he got himself into this
situation. Now it was up to me to get him out unscathed.
"Well," I knew he was angry with me. "Seeing as I really have no say in
the matter, I have nothing more to say." Joey stood up to leave, which
surprised me.
My eyes shot to Matthew, and he just shook his head. "This is your
mess," he mumbled as Joey walked away from the table.
Before my brain had a chance to process what I was doing, I was up and
following him. "Joey, wait." I tugged at his arm, trying to turn him
around to face me.
He stopped and looked up at the ceiling. He looked at me like I was the
last person he really wanted to talk to. I walked him into a little alcove
where the bathrooms were located. "I know you think we ganged up on
you back there, but that was never my intention. Matthew told me we'd
talk about how to break this to you, and I think he meant well..." I
trailed off.
"Yeah, whatever, Charlie," he said dismissively. "My life is in your
capable hands now, right?" He leaned in closer to me. I thought I saw a
fleeting look of desire in his eyes. I knew when Joey could do flirty.
"Does that mean you tuck me into bed every night?"
"Really, Joey?" I sighed. I was nervous. "I just wanted to say sorry for
tonight. I don' t want you to be uncomfortable around me."
"Yeah," he said with a bitterness I hadn't heard before. "That's not
going to be the problem, Charlie."
I just shook my head in disbelief. "You can't still be attracted to me,
Joey. We haven't seen each other in years, and your bedpost probably
has a few hundred notches in it by now. That's not why I'm here." He
flinched when I mentioned his female conquests. I wasn't helping our
situation, so I softened my tone and my stance, appealing to him in a
different way. "I' m here because I still consider you a friend, and I
want you to be successful. But you and me," I gestured between us,
"that's over and done with."
Joey stepped closer to me until he was inches from my body. "Do you
have a boyfriend?" I could feel my body heat up as he backed me

against the wall. His breath was warm on my lips, and I was itching,
just a bit, to reach out and soothe the anger and hurt I'd caused him
today. I wasn't exactly sure where he meant to go with this. Was he just
trying to make me realize that the chemistry would always be there
between the two of us? I bit my lip and looked down at the dirty floor,
trying to calm my racing heart. "I don't think that's any of your
business, Joey."
He raised an eyebrow in question to my response. I continued to bite
my lip. With a finger, he separated my teeth from my lip. "Always your
bad habit when you didn't want to answer a question." His sad eyes
held mine as he backed up a step.
I swallowed, regaining control of myself and remembering why the
hell I was here in the first place. He turned around to leave. "No," I
blurted suddenly.
"No?" He whipped back around, surprised.
"I don't have a boyfriend."
He stared at me for one long second, then nodded and walked away,
leaving me there alone.
Trudging back to the table, Matthew was gazing at me expectantly.
"Well that went well," I joked, letting out an edgy chuckle. I need
another drink.
"He'll come around, Charlie." I knew Matthew wasn't happy with my
not telling him about the rehab center, but there was a look in his eyes
that took me by surprise. He was peeling the label off his beer,
obviously not happy with my running off after Joey. But I had to make
sure he was alright. Surely Matthew would understand that.
I wanted to glare at Matthew, but I didn't have it in me. All that history
that had just resurfaced inside of me was calming down, leaving me
feeling strangely empty and tired. Bringing up a bit of the past was
hard. We'd had such an impressive relationship, knowing that it was
finally and truly over was a lot to take in. "I'll talk to him later," I said
eventually.
His brows shot up. I could tell he wasn't happy with that statement.
Although, I wasn't entirely one hundred percent sure why. "Are you
sure that' s a good idea?"
"Of course, it's Joey. He'll be okay," I mumbled, playing with the

cocktail napkin.
"Want another round?" he asked with a bit of hopefulness to his voice.
As much as I could use one, I decided against it. "I need to get some
food." I started to stand, but Matthew beat me to it, rushing to my side
as he held my chair for me. His manners seemed silly and out of place
in a bar. I shot him a glance.
He was grinning. "Let me take you out for dinner?" he asked me like he
was almost embarrassed.
" U m . " I stalled. I was getting tired, and room service was sounding
better and better, but Matthew was trying here. It was sweet. Accepting
his so-called olive branch was the least I could do. Finally, I shrugged
and returned his smile. "Okay."

n in e
My weekend turned out to be somewhat uneventful. Even though I told
Matthew I'd try to talk to Joey, I wanted him to have time to let the
information sink in. It wasn't every day you find out your ex-girlfriend
was calling the shots on your life.
Saturday morning the light streaming in through the slit in the hotel
curtains was annoying enough that I got up and showered before
ordering food and coffee. I wasn't exactly sure what to do with myself
since I didn't really have anything to do. I could wander around L.A.
and look at some vintage shops and perhaps check out Rodeo Drive.
Not that my credit card limit would allow that. Nordstrom Rack or
Marshalls was pretty much my pace for pricing.
I pulled out my wallet and watched as a scrap piece of paper fluttered to
the carpet. Bending down to pick it up, I saw it was Stefanie Cramer's
local phone number. Shrugging, I decided to call her. It wasn't much of
a risk. She had to already have plans for the day, but I could at least tell
Mom that I attempted to have lunch with her. However, I was gob
smacked when she actually accepted my lunch proposal.
I dressed casually yet smartly in a cream-colored loose linen pants.
Stefanie was always a fashion whore, so I thought she'd appreciate that
underneath the sweater, I wore a purple tank top that had glitter running
through it. I was comfortable and cool. The humidity these days in L.A.
was stifling at times. I couldn't get used to the smog either, but knowing
how chilly it was indoors, the sweater was necessary.
Stefanie was waiting outside the diner when I walked up. She looked
the same as she did in high school, but a bit more refined. Her chocolate
brown hair was styled in a French twist, and she wore a royal blue wrap
dress, which showed off her navy blue eyes incredibly.

Throughout high school, Stefanie was a knockout. Now an adult, she
was gorgeous. As she lifted her hand to wave, I noticed the huge rock
on her finger. Of course she'd marry well. Every guy always went crazy
for her. She was the atypical gorgeous teen, though. She didn't cheer.
She hated football and basketball. She was in the godforsaken math
club, and she was the class salutatorian, whereas I ranked about
one-forty out of 600. It wasn't that I did not want to see Stefanie, just
after so many years, but I just really didn't think we'd have anything in
common anymore. She went off to law school after graduating from
Arizona State, and I came to work at my father's firm.
I smiled when I saw her. "Stef..." I hugged her.
She squeezed me tightly just like old time. Stef was always a hugging
machine. "Oh Charlie, it's so good to see you!" she said brightly. One
thing I loved about Stefanie, was that she was a genuinely good person.
If you were a friend, then to her you were a friend for life. But if you
weren' t friends or even just a minor acquaintance, she still made you
feel respected. Seeing her here in L.A. just brought back all the
memories of the fun and gossip we used to share with each other. My
mom was onto something when she practically begged me to call
Stefanie. There were unshed tears in her eyes. If she kept it up, I ' d be
crying right along with her. "Let's get inside before I become a
blubbering mess."
She held the door open for me, and I went in ahead of her. The interior
was an interesting décor for a diner. It had that fifties vibe, but there
was something else to it, a homey feel. We were seated by an older
woman in a typical horrendous mustard yellow polyester waitress
uniform. The white frilly apron tied around her waist just added to the
fifties look.
"This place is incredible." I glanced around at the posters of fifties rock
stars and Hollywood starlets and famous actors from that time period
affixed to the wall. There was a Wurlitzer Juke Box in the corner, but it
was a newer model. Inside were CDs instead of vinyl. My eyes were
like saucers, taking everything in from the napkin holders on the table
to the straw dispenser. It was an interesting concept, and I was glad that
Stefanie suggested it.

"The food here is great, too," she said brightly, tucking her napkin on
her lap and opening the huge, oversized menu.
I looked over mine and decided on a burger with fries and a milkshake.
"So how have you really been, Charlie?" she asked sincerely. "Your
mom said you're the publicist for Joey Carino. I have to admit I was
surprised when she told me. Has it been difficult?" She shook her head
and smiled sympathetically.
I took a deep breath and laid my menu flat on the table. "Well, seeing as
we just told him about it yesterday, it's been a bit difficult. He needs
some time to think things through." I folded my hands, trying to keep
them still. I was uneasy, talking about my former relationship with
Joey. It was inevitable that Stefanie would ask questions. That didn't
make it easier.
"He didn't take it so well?" she asked, genuinely interested.
"Oh, no." I tried to stifle a groan. "First of all, Matthew being Matthew
blindsided the both of us last night. So technically, I should be trying to
smooth things over with Joey. Instead, I'm enjoying my weekend by
having fun with you." I smiled back at her.
She laughed. "Good for you! I remember how tough Matthew was to
you during high school. Some of us thought he was jealous." She gave
me a knowing wink that I really didn't know about.
"Um, Stefanie," I choked out. "That is entirely impossible. We hated
each back then and it looks like things haven't changed much for us.
He's still difficult." I smirked at her.
The waitress came over and took our orders. When she was gone, I' d
finally noticed the big rock on her left hand. "That is gorgeous, you
must tell me all about him!" I cried. I could tell that I'd taken her by
surprise changing the topic so quickly.
Stefanie's face lit up as she went on about her man, Ben. They'd met
coincidentally when they were dating other people. She clarified, "But
we didn't cheat on our partners. It just so happened that when I broke up
with the guy I was seeing, he asked a mutual friend for my number, and
w e l l. " She raised her hand again.
I sighed, in jealousy. Granted we were in our early twenties and

getting married wasn't on my mind, but having someone to talk to at
night and snuggle with on the couch sounded so much better than
snuggling with a drooling basset hound.
We talked about school and life. Well, more like my lack of a life.
Right now, I had to focus on work and that meant focusing on my
gorgeous ex-boyfriend who I was trying to maintain a professional
relationship with.
"You can always fool around with him, Charlie," she mentioned in a
hushed tone with a wink.
"What?" I blinked at her. "That would give him the impression that I
was okay with his cheating, and I want him back." Which I don't.
Clearly. "That would be more catastrophic." I shook my head.
"What about Matthew?" she asked, giving me a knowing look.
I choked on my milkshake, spewing it in front of me and thankfully not
down my shirt. "Are you crazy? You know how well we get along. It's
like mixing oil and water. No. Thanks." She had to be crazy. Me and
Matthew, psssh. Never. Never, never, never.
Stefanie just quirked her brow up in response to my vehemence.
Okay, stop trying to convince yourself. Let it go.
"Stefanie, if you saw Matthew now, you wouldn't believe it yourself.
He's filled out in all the right areas, he's gorgeous. I mean he's always
had killer blue eyes, but now, they just pop at you. He's always so
relaxed and in command. I mean, I'd have to be dead to not say that I
wasn't attracted to that, but with our relationship it's a no go." I sighed
exasperatedly.
Stefanie flicked her fingernail against the Formica table. "I could set
you up with a friend of Ben's." She waggled her eyebrows at me,
causing me to nearly lose my milkshake again.
I grimaced. "Um, thanks, but no. I'm good."
With a compassionate look, Stefanie took hold of my hand. "Don't
work too hard. You'll find someone. You know what they say, when
you least expect it."
I squeezed her hand, then waved her off. "Yeah, yeah. I know." I rolled
my eyes, but Stefanie was serious. Her happiness was infectious
though, and I was really happy for her. I told her about Joey's

concert at the Hollywood Bowl and promised her and Ben VIP tickets
on my behalf.
After lunch, we went our separate way with promises of keeping in
touch and Stefanie inviting me to drinks at her house to meet Ben.
I walked around a few vintage stores and bought couple of dresses and
tops that would look nice with a simple black skirt. Then I stopped at a
coffee shop for a well-deserved cappuccino, and had just sat down
when my phone started ringing.
"Hello?" I didn't recognize the number popping up on my screen.
"Charlie?" It was Joey.
"Hey." I was surprised that he got my number and that he'd actually
called me. I took a deep breath and tried to calm my nerves. "Yeah.
How are you doing?" I asked.
"Um, good," he said anxiously. "Good. It was good to see you last
night. Sorry if I freaked you out. Just took me by surprise is all."
"I know," I tried to put him at ease. "It wasn't exactly how I wanted that
meeting to go, but Matthew is the same old Matthew." Just the thought
of it made me want to roll my eyes. Some things never changed.
Joey chuckled, and I heard some voices in the background. They were
muffled, but one was definitely female. "Yeah, Matthew, I think he
meant well. I just didn't want you to think that I don't want to work with
you. Because, um, yeah, I don't have a problem with that." I heard him
pull the phone away and hiss at someone.
"Um, Joey, are you okay? There seems to be a lot of commotion going
on behind you." I closed my eyes, trying to get my nerves under
control. Even though we weren't together, a part of me didn't want his
sexuality flaunted in front of me.
"It's fine," he said casually. "I do have to get off the phone, but I wanted
to know if you had any plans tonight. I want to take you somewhere we
can talk alone."
I bit my lip, not sure how I should answer. I definitely wanted to
discuss parameters with him, let him know I was strictly doing a job,
but I could hear the sadness in his tone, too.
"Sure," I softly replied. "That'll be nice."

Before hanging up, he gave me directions to the bar. Thankfully, it
wasn't too far from the hotel, so I'd be able to walk to it. When I ended
the call, though, I wondered if I had just opened Pandora's box.
Joey was already at the bar when I came through the door. Some fans
were surrounding him. This must be what his regular life was like. I felt
a shiver at the reality of that. I would hate to be followed and
bombarded on a regular basis. Torture.
The bar was dark, so when I opened the door the light from the sun
flooded the space, forcing all curious eyes on me. Joey stuck his arm up
and waved me over. It was a strange sight to see him hugging strangers
and signing napkins, but he seemed to be in his element. I suspected
some of the women were hoping they could bed the rock star tonight. A
few looked put out when Joey left them to approach me. He had an
easygoing smile on his face as he stopped in front of me.
"Hey, Charlie. Glad you came." He stuck his hands in his pockets and
looked everywhere but at me. Was he nervous? He had never been
nervous around me.
Taken aback, I tried not to frown. I didn't want him to feel strange. I
wanted to be okay with being his publicist. "Of course, Joey. Thanks
for inviting me. It'll give us a chance to talk without Matthew." I
elbowed him to lighten the mood, but he still bounced around
anxiously.
"Yeah, but I might have an ulterior motive to bringing you here."
"Joey, we..." Instantly regretting my decision to meet him here by
myself, I tried to find the right words. "You and me..." They wouldn't
come. Damn it.
Joey gave me an amused look. "Hey, Charlie, lighten up. A couple of
bands I wanted you to listen to are performing tonight. I'm looking to
invest in them and wanted another opinion."

He chuckled, and I sighed in relief. Having to talk about work was one
thing. Having to talk about us was an entirely different conversation.
He walked me over to a table closer to the stage. Since he asked me to
meet him early to discuss my plans and how to publicize him, it wasn't
a packed bar. The bands wouldn't be on for a few hours.
I went over the plans for the record shop event in more detail, and he
was pleased that I'd managed to set it up. He'd met Clara a few times,
but only briefly. We discussed his upcoming appearance on the radio
station, and I told him that I would get a bunch of questions to the
station that were approved. The elephant in the room was the rehab
center.
"Your drug use will come up," I reminded him. "But I can stop the
interview if you don't want to discuss it. He nodded his head at me.
"Nah, I don't mind. It's a part of me." He smiled at me, but I didn't smile
back. Knowing that the drug use was a part of him kind of hurt my
heart. "I've missed you, Charlie."
I bit my lip, not sure what to say to that. I had missed him, too, but I
couldn' t let my personal life interfere with my professional life. My
feelings for Joey ended three years ago when he cheated. "We can't,
Joey. I can't." I wasn't sorry for my feelings, but I was sorry that Joey
was feeling conflicted. I didn't want him to have those feelings.
I pulled apart the napkin that I'd rolled up in my hand. He just looked at
me and sat back with a sigh. The waitress brought over a couple of ice
waters and a few beers. Even though we were in deep discussion, we
were continuously interrupted by fans who thought they could just
come up whenever they wanted. Joey didn't seem to mind, but I was
getting tired of it. He kissed more cheeks and had his picture taken so
many times, I was surprised his smile wasn't a permanent fixture on his
face. But the one thing I saw during all of this was the emptiness in his
eyes. I remember his green eyes being so warm and bright, but today
and even last night, they were dead. No light shining through them.
I twitched my lips, wondering how I could help him get that sparkle
back. It was easy to see he was overworked. The label was running him
raw, and the pressure he was under to have a successful one night at the
Hollywood Bowl weighed heavily on his mind.
Reaching my hand out, I lightly stroked his cheek. He closed his

eyes as my thumb grazed his bottom lip knowing this was against my
better judgment. I couldn't help myself, but he looked so lost and so
tired. "You're not happy, Joey."
His eyes snapped open, and I pulled my hand away, the subtle moment
gone. "I'm fine," he tersely responded, and I knew that this
conversation had hit a dead end.
For the next couple of hours, we talked about nothing and drank more
than we should've. At eleven p.m. the bands finally came out to play.
Now the bar was packed, and the crowd swarmed to the stage. The first
group was heavy on the drums, a bass line that thumped in time and an
electric guitar that seemed to captivate the crowd. The music was good.
No, it was better than good. They were great, and Joey could see it. I
turned to him and held my beer up in a salute. He reciprocated. We
tapped bottles and laughed at our silliness.
When the band was heading into their second song, I leaned over to
him. "They're really good, Joey."
He nodded and tipped his beer back. I turned back around to listen
some more. Once they finished their set, they went backstage. A
minute later, my jaw dropped in shock when the band members came
over and fist bumped Joey.
It was the first time Joey seemed to have a little spark in his eyes. He
was looking at them, but gestured to me. "Hey guys, this is Charlie
Banks, my publicist."
They each acknowledged me and pulled chairs out from our table and
got comfortable. A new waitress came over with a round of drinks. I
wasn't sure how I liked my introduction to the band. Because we were
always more. It was strange hearing him introduce me as only his
publicist. Not his girlfriend, not even his friend. I guess it might open
up a can of worms if he had introduced me as his ex, so in a way I
should be thankful. Knowing I shouldn't be upset, a part of me cringed
inside.
At that moment, a horde of girls descended on our table. Due to lack of
chairs, they all easily got comfortable on the guys' laps. Not wanting to
be left out, Joey grabbed the cutest, smallest blonde to plop down on his
lap. I took a huge sip of my beer, nearly choking on it. My cheeks
started heating up with the brazenness of the brassy blonde. I

remembered when Joey would pull me to his lap, wrapping strong
hands against my stomach, his lips seeking out my neck. I sighed sadly.
I wasn't sure if this was his way of making me jealous, but I pushed it
aside, forcing any strange feelings away. I didn't need that
complication right now. We had business to do, and we were done
anyway. Our past was the past. He was a friend now, and this was what
friends did. Right?
He played with her hair, lightly touching her neck and causing her to
giggle and moan at the same time—if that was possible. I stifled a gag
and continued to look elsewhere. Bobby, the band's drummer, engaged
me in some mediocre discussion. But for the most part, the guys just
talked about industry and the tour they were leaving for soon. I'd
stopped drinking beer and moved onto water. We still had one more
band to listen to, and I wanted to be in the right frame of mind.
Anything less would be embarrassing.
I checked my phone for the time. When I got here, it was six. Now it
was close to one in the morning. It didn't seem like I had been here for
seven hours, but if I stood up, I'd probably feel it.
Thanking my lucky stars, the other band pulled on stage a minute later.
To my surprise, it was all female. The drummer counted down, and the
lead singer started singing a cappella before the instruments joined her
in what turned out to be a rollicking version of an Elvis Presley song.
This group was high energy and totally on the money. I turned to Joey
to give him a thumbs up, but he was sucking face with the pretty
blonde. Immediately my insides sunk. Why was I even here? He
obviously wasn't taking this seriously. I didn't think he heard any of the
song. I wondered if he thought this was serious or if my being his
publicist was a joke. I'd had three years to grow up and realize what I
wanted out of my life, but watching Joey go at it with the groupie made
me question his motives and his maturity. All I could do was shake my
head in pity.
Getting up quickly, I walked to the ladies room to freshen up before
heading back to my hotel room. I' m sure Joey didn't even notice I' d
left. There was really no use in getting jealous, I told myself in the
bathroom mirror. Joey and I were a thing of the past. He was entitled to
pick up anyone he wanted.

I shrugged at my reflection and pressed back my hair. Nothing wrong
with that. I guess I was a little surprised that he'd be so blatant about it
in front of me. I mean, what the hell? Even after all these years, he had
no respect for me. Lesson learned. Once I dried my face and hands, I
walked out the bathroom and out the front door without one glance at
Joey. We were done, and I knew finally that anything he said to me or
tried to do wouldn't hold sway over me. Watching him make out with
her was enough to ensure that I'd made the right decision three years
ago.

t en
Goddammit! I slit open one eye and peeked at the hotel phone
practically ringing off the hook on the dark wood nightstand. When it
stopped, it started right back up again. Damn it, damn it! I guess
sleeping in wasn't on the books for Sunday. That and my alarm on my
cell was going off nonstop. Last night, I had been a bit too drunk to
remember to shut my cell off. Once I peeled off my clothes, I fell into
bed and into dreamless, drunken sleep.
Throwing back the covers in a fit of irritation, I picked up the phone.
"Hello?" my voice sounded like I'd smoked ten packs of cigarettes. I
was in desperate need of water.
"Mornin', sunshine." Matthew's overly cheery voice was grating to my
ears.
I growled into the phone, and he laughed. We'd planned on meeting in
the office today to get some things together, but it was supposed to be a
brief meeting.
"Guess I'm your wake-up call today."
"What do you want, Matthew?" I spat out. What I really wanted was to
fill up the glass on the dresser with tap water from the bathroom. I
wasn't normally a tap water girl, but I was desperate and would've
drunk anything to soothe my sore throat.
"Did someone have a late night?" He sounded like he was addressing
his pet, not me.
I sat down heavily on the bed, pressing down the urge to claw his eyes
out later. My head was thumping, and I searched through my purse for
some aspirin to help with the pounding. "Get to the point."
He sighed. "I'll be at the hotel in about forty-five minutes and wanted to
make sure you were bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. So will you

be?"
I groaned. Forty-five minutes? "Yes, I'll be ready," I grumbled. "I'll
meet you outside." Hanging up, I thumped into the bathroom, getting
the shower going, finally having that glass of tepid tap water, and
brushing my teeth. My mouth tasted like I licked the side of an ashtray!
Forty-five minutes later, exactly, Matthew was waiting outside for me.
He had his Jeep again, which I preferred anyway to his
hundred-thousand-dollar monstrosity. In the car, he held a cup of
Starbucks coffee out for me. Glancing down, I saw the creamer and
sugar in the cup holder.
"Life saver, you know." He grinned at me, enjoying the fact that he was
getting on my nerves a little too much. Once I made the coffee the way
I liked it, he pulled onto the road.
"So what did you do last night?" he asked curiously, and I wondered if
he already knew.
I took a tentative sip of the hot beverage. "Hung out with Joey."
Matthew sputtered and took his eyes off the road to stare at me.
"What?"
I frowned at him. Weird reaction. "We went to a bar where I listened to
a few bands that he's interested in. Wanted my take on them."
He cleared his throat and raised his eyebrows at me. "And?"
"And nothing." God, I needed more aspirin. "I left after the last band.
He was stuck on some groupie's lips."
Matthew' s eyebrow quirked up in that way that it did when he was
interested in something, but he kept his eyes on the road this time.
"What did you think of the bands?" Guess he wasn't going to ask how I
felt about Joey making out with some blonde bimbo.
I gently leaned my head against the seat, trying to find a comfortable
position that would ease the pounding a little. "I liked the chick band.
They did mostly covers, but if they can write, I suspect they'll be good.
Joey seems to have a good ear for that stuff."
"He does," he murmured and turned into the underground parking lot,
pulling into his spot.
I grabbed my bag and coffee, following him to the elevator. Once the
metal doors had shut, I turned to Matthew. "Do you think he'll be

successful as a producer and scout?" I could see Joey being successful
at it, but wondered if he'd miss the performing after a while. Joey never
seemed to be a behind the scenes guy.
Matthew looked down at me with bright shining eyes. "Joey is
successful at just about anything he touches. I don't think he'll have a
difficult time transitioning from one aspect of the recording industry. In
fact, I think he'll do an even better job behind the scenes," he said
indifferently.
"Hmm," I said, looking up at the floor numbers flying by. I could tell
Joey wasn't happy the way things were going. I'm sure having a
different girl on his lap every night was getting lonely. If anything, he
seemed to long for that human connection that he probably didn't get
with one-night stands and the like. Maybe when he and I were together,
he was caught up in it. Now the lifestyle seemed like it was taking its
toll.
"When do we meet with the label?" I asked, putting Joey's sex life out
of my mind for the moment.
"I'll try to schedule something before the concert." He turned toward
me, looking a bit surprised by my question. "Technically you're
working for them, but I want you to think about Joey during all of this."
I started to frown and say something when he stopped me. "Listen, our
objective is the same, but sometimes using kid gloves around certain
people helps in the end."
I scratched my forehead, taking in what Matthew said. I wasn't thrilled
that he was telling me how to do my job. I knew exactly how to handle
certain people. Sociology and psychology in college taught me that.
Especially rich, gorgeous people. This wasn't the first time I had dealt
with wild, and it certainly wasn't the first time I had dealt with entitled.
"Fine," I grunted, sipping my coffee.
Matthew's brows raised in mock surprise. "Fine? No 'I can take care of
myself, Charlie', or 'shut the fuck up, I know what I'm doing, Charlie'?
Damn, you've mellowed in twenty-four hours," he mimicked, giving
me a flirty smile.
I sighed melodramatically. "Yes, fine. I'll do what you want, when

you want. Isn't that what this all about?" Finally, the elevator doors
opened, and I pushed my way out and down to my boring L.A. office.
Matthew gave me the smallest, stuffiest, grayest office imaginable. No
windows to look out of. It was a fishbowl office, where the door and
wall beside it were all glass. No privacy. I sat down heavily in my chair
and groaned.
I immediately went to work, writing up some press copy to send out to
various organizations about the record store signing and Joey's
upcoming radio segment. I included links to his website and how
people could win tickets to the show. Basically trying like hell to get
something out there to generate the publicity we needed to have a
successful concert. It wasn't that Joey was in a down slide regarding his
celebrity, but the news that he'd been volatile, hostile, and drug-addled
hadn't exactly presented him as Prince Charming.
Faxing the copy, I closed my computer and headed down to Matthew' s
office.
A couple of hours had passed, and I was ready to call it a day. I wasn't
going to work my whole Sunday away. I got some things done without
the distraction of phones ringing and people wanting me in five
different directions. As far as I was concerned, I was done.
I knocked on Matthew's door.
"Come in." He was staring at his computer and didn't even look up
when I stepped into his office. His office was cheery and huge. He had
some gorgeous black and white photos of Joey in concert and a couple
of him and Joey that looked like they' d been in Spain or Italy. Joey was
looking away from the camera, and Matthew was looking dead straight
at it. His smile was breathtaking. I saw the Grammy that Joey won for
best new artist on a side table. Platinum albums also littered the wall. A
huge Billboard sign took up nearly one wall with Joey's number one
song blown up to gigantic proportions. Well, if anything, Matthew was
proud of his friend and employer. I noticed in a smaller picture on a
coffee table in front of the love-seat size sofa, there was a picture of
Matthew with a gorgeous brunette. I couldn't quite place her, but knew
her to be someone famous. They looked to be very cozy.
"I' m done for the day. Could you drive me back to the hotel?" I

continued to look around the office trying to not focus solely on
Matthew and the picture of him with the girl.
He finally looked up at me with a bit of tiredness to his eyes. He'd
caught me staring at the picture while I bit the skin around my thumb. I
crossed my arms against my chest when his look softened at me after
glancing at what I was looking at. I just hoped he didn't decide to talk to
me about it. I wasn't really in the mood.
"Yeah, I need to finish up a few things, do you mind waiting?" He stuck
his hand out, offering me a seat.
"Sure." I sat in the grey, plush chair opposite his desk and crossed my
legs. I'd put on some short shorts and gladiator sandals earlier in the
day, not realizing that my clothing choice would cause Matthew's eyes
to rake over my legs. I secretly watched as Matthew's gaze slowly went
the length of my leg as I swung it back and forth. The heat in his eyes
caused my thighs to clench together. I made it look like I was checking
Facebook and e-mail as his furtive glances continued to rake over my
swinging leg. Okay, so a sly smile graced my lips at the show I was
giving him, but if he was going to make me wait, I was going to have
some fun with it.
I had no clue what Matthew was doing and wasn't about to interrupt
him to ask. The sooner he finished, the sooner I could get back and
relax. This entire weekend had been sort of a blast from the past meets
emotional exhaustion. And my teasing of Matthew was adding to my
emotional instability. I decided that I would, in fact, check Facebook
and e-mail and stop covertly watching Matthew.
I was responding to some Facebook questions from friends before I
noticed Matthew's furious typing had stopped. When I looked up, he
was staring at me as I toyed with my phone. "What?" I asked, trying to
hold in a chuckle.
He cleared his throat and blinked a couple times. "Nothing." He was
clearly confounded.
I expected him to return to his work, but he didn't. He kept staring at
me, his blue eyes darkening as he watched me, and I found myself
biting my lip harder than necessary. "What?" I asked again with more
edge to my voice. "Do I have something on my face?" I started pressing

my fingers all around my cheeks and forehead. Maybe there was some
leftover toothpaste, or maybe there was some smeared mascara that I
didn' t catch after my shower.
He blinked again, and a small grin formed on his lips. "Yeah, you got a
little something..." He started with a finger near his mouth, then did a
circle around his entire face, basically insinuating that there was
something on my entire face. His grin blew up at his stupid joke.
"Very funny," I said sarcastically and went back to messing around
with my phone, idly swinging my leg back and forth knowing that it
would drive him just a bit crazy.
He went back to work, his fingers a frenzy on his keyboard, and I found
my eyes traveling back up to watch him. Damn it, he was gorgeous.
Today especially in his denim button-down shirt and pressed khaki
pants. His hair a floppy mess that worked for him. But there was
something else about him lately that had me fascinated. He was so
different from Joey. Always had been, but maybe I never noticed it
when we were kids because we borderline hated each other. Where
Joey was more athletic looking, Matthew looked more Fifth Avenue,
model ready.
Now that I was thinking about it, though, I started to dissect their
personalities. While Joey was always outgoing, Matthew was a bit
more difficult to crack. Joey wore his emotions freely, and Matthew
kept everything close to the vest. Even when he was angry or pissed
off, for whatever reason, Matthew was a lowly-fused dynamite, Joey
would explode, but Matthew would smolder.
"Do I have something on my face?" Matthew asked, making me jump. I
hadn' t even realized he had stopped working again. He caught me
staring at him.
Damn.
I expected him to make some cocky remark, but he didn't. There was
something on his face I had never seen before—a little sadness,
curiosity, and. longing? I felt my heart speed up and my jaw dropped a
little in surprise. He'd never looked at me like this. Maybe we were
friendly now, but he'd always despised me. I'd always been Joe's
girlfriend, the annoying thorn in his side that he never could manage to
dig out. I was the third wheel to their dynamic duo.

Our eyes locked, and I licked my lips, trembling when he broke eye
contact, and his gaze trailed down to my lips. This was just fucking
weird. Matthew wanted me? Me?
The bigger and more shock-inducing question was: did I want him?
A part of me did, and that part of me wanted to jump up over the desk
and yank him to my aching lips. I wanted to taste him on me. But that
part of me wasn't meshing with the past me. I couldn't put those two
girls together. I couldn't let go of how he used to treat me then versus
now. He never physically hurt me. It wasn't anything that I couldn't
eventually forgive him for, but it was still a struggle. He was a bee in
my bonnet.
I swallowed, and his eyes returned to me, but all those emotions were
suddenly gone. The spell was broken. Again, that grown-up part of me
wanted to scream, No! But that high school girl kept my lips firmly
shut.
Matthew shook his head. His cheeks were flushed. Again, he took me
by surprise. Was he embarrassed?
Silently blowing out a breath, I went back to my phone, ignoring the
heat that had built up in my body after one simple, stupid, extremely
hot look. How the hell could he affect me with one look? This was not
good. Not at all. I needed to get myself under control. Quickly.
Joey never called to apologize or to talk about what happened at the
bar, and I was somewhat okay with that. Sunday melted into Monday,
which in turn became Tuesday. We finalized the plans for the record
store on Thursday, and Friday morning on the tenth, the morning of the
concert, we'd be at the radio station bright and early. Early reports were
that the concert was selling tickets quickly, and the ones that we were
giving away were considered a hot commodity. The radio station's

contest line was blowing up. This was good. We were on the right
track, and I was very pleased.
I' d been shadowing Joey from meeting to meeting, with various studio
representatives and the bands that he was interested in investing in.
Most times he seemed mellow, if a bit strange that I was spending so
much time around him. Right now, he was a target for even the smallest
of smear campaigns, and my job was to keep his nose clean. Literally
and figuratively. From time to time, I'd notice he'd have a hard time
staying still; legs bouncing, hands moving rapidly. It was like all this
energy was balled up inside him, and he had no way of releasing it.
He'd pace, I'd sit. Then he'd sit and bounce up and down. I'd try to get a
handle on him, but most times he tuned me out. I brought it up to
Matthew, but he dismissed it as nerves. I thought it was more of a
chemical thing, but Matthew just glared at me. Yes, I was concerned
for Joey. If he was using drugs and hiding it, it was an issue. Something
that we'd have to discuss now and not later. Regardless of Matthew's
view on recreational drug use. If he was using anything heavy, well, it
needed to be discussed.

e l ev en
Working for the alpha male does strange things to a woman's psyche.
Over these last few days, there were times when I wanted to slap Joey,
beat Matthew, and hitchhike out of town. It was no-holds barred with
those two, and I still felt like I needed a shower after dealing with their
misogynistic shit. For a few weeks, I'd been working behind the scenes,
and we were coming up on the gig with the record shop. I was hoping
that Clara would be in my corner. Though I could pretty much surmise
that she'd kick ass if those two men got out of line.
Matthew and I were heading to the shop together. Joey would be
meeting us there roughly thirty minutes before his show. We'd put out
feelers and very minimal publicity because we weren't sure how much
traffic it would generate. It would've sucked if the LAFD shut us down
for overcapacity. Clara met us at the front of the store and led us to the
back, where people were already setting up the area for Joey. Stragglers
were standing around, obviously waiting for their rock god, all of them
decked out in T-shirts (with Joey in various poses or a shot of him at a
live concert) and holding CDs. I smiled at the early crowd, pleased with
how everything looked. Now I just had to make a wish that everything
would go off without a hitch. Matthew just nodded and waved at the
fans, while Clara and I discussed various set-ups and speaker sound.
Within ten minutes of being at the store, he stepped aside to take a call.
"What's stuck up his ass tonight?" Clara asked with an amused
look.
I shrugged. I wasn't sure what was up with Matthew. Since the
weekend—and our 'moment'—he'd been quiet around me when we
were alone and not his usual teasing self when he was with Joe. I
looked over toward him, but his back was turned to me. His shoulders
were

bunched up as he furiously tried to keep his voice down for whoever he
was talking to. Curious, I took small, casual steps toward him to hear
what he was saying.
"I don't give a fuck about that," he snapped. "We had a deal, and you
said it would be fine. Well, I'm standing here, and nothing is fine. Of
course, she'll be there! She's only good for one thing."
Who was he talking to? I could tell he was pissed, and I only hoped that
it had nothing to do with tonight and Joey or me. I'd put a lot of faith in
Joey being here. If he stood us up, it could ruin everything we were
trying to achieve. That was not something I was ready to deal with.
He started into the caller again. "Listen you motherfucker, I don't give a
shit. We had a deal, and if you renege, your name will be piled onto shit
after shit, and I don't care if you never dig yourself out of that goddamn
hole." Matthew turned around and caught me eavesdropping. He
narrowed his eyes at me and turned back around to say a few more
words, then effectively cut off the conversation.
I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Please tell me that had
nothing to do with Joey not showing up?"
Matthew pursed his lips. "It does have to do with Joe, but not for the
reasons you think."
He looked past me, over my shoulder. I followed his gaze to see Joey
had arrived, and I breathed a sigh of relief. Clara was already at Joe's
side before I had a chance to shake off the nerves suddenly building
inside of me. With Matthew and Clara here, at least I didn't have to be
around Joey all night. I would just make sure everything went
smoothly.
Clara took Joey on a quick tour of the shop, introducing him to various
employees and some loyal customers that had shown up to see him and
to help out Clara. She was a dynamo around her store. It impressed me
that she could talk to her customers so easily. She knew names, she'd
place soft touches on shoulders, shake hands firmly. She had a perfect
balance of friendliness and professionalism.
Matthew, on the other hand, seemed to have a permanent scowl on his
face after the phone call. I'd hit up the coffee shop and bought one for
him, thinking the caffeine would lighten the mood. I didn't need

Joey's manager up in arms for any reason. I wanted tonight to go as
smoothly as possible. And if we got through this, the radio show would
be a piece of cake, and the concert would be the Pièce de résistance.
I handed Matthew his coffee.
"Thanks," he said stiffly.
I took a sip of mine first, then answered, "No problem. Sorry I couldn't
put anything stronger in it." I smiled up at him.
He watched me curiously. "No, it's fine." He blew on his hot beverage,
and I watched him as both of his hands grabbed the cup, and he lifted it
to his lips. He inhaled the scent of the dark roast, which seemed to relax
him somewhat.
I smiled slightly when his Adam's apple bobbed with the sip. Watching
his throat move in such a manner was definitely causing heat to flush
my face. I needed to pull my gaze away from his neck and his sensuous
lips. "Do you want to talk about it?" I indicated to the jeans pocket
where he had put his phone.
And just as the softness approached, his flirty mood changed in a flash.
His steely gaze held mine for what seemed like forever. I thought he
was about to discuss it, but he just looked at me. "It's nothing," he
finally said. "Just some issues with the electrical and sound at the Bowl.
We'll get it fixed." I gathered that he was lying.
I narrowed my gaze and twitched my lips to say something. I wasn't
entirely sure I believed him. There was no way that heated
conversation was only about lighting and sound.
Clara came up to the both of us before I could call him out on his
bullshit. "Joey's going to do a sound check before we start. Charlie, we
have the table all set up for your posters, and I have the boxes of CDs
behind the table. Pens are on the table, as well as the bottles of water."
I gave her a genuine smile, almost hugging her. She singlehandedly got
everything set up with minimal help from me. "Thanks, Clara. I can't
tell you how much I really appreciate all of this. " I indicated the store,
then looked up at Matthew, who was still looking at me and not paying
any attention to Clara. I gave him a confused expression and turned
back to Clara, joking, "I think Matthew appreciates your help, too."
Matthew barely gave her a sideways glance. I was about to call him

on his rudeness when Joey popped up, slapped Matthew on the
shoulder, and turned to Clara, "Just about ready for that sound check,
Clara." Joey was bouncing with energy, and I was hoping it wasn't
caused by anything other than adrenaline. He didn't need a chemical
high.
I pursed my lips, studying the two of them, how different they were.
Joey was jazzed and Matthew was just standing there, not really here,
and not paying attention. Whatever that call was, it really put him in a
foul mood.
Once Clara and Joey ambled off, I was able to focus on the grumpy
manager.
"Okay, spill, Matthew." I gave him my no nonsense voice. "What is the
problem?"
He frowned at me, his eyes darkening to near black. I could tell he was
angry, but I wasn't sure how to stem the brewing storm that seemed to
be gathering around him.
"It's nothing, Charlie," he said tightly.
I just sighed and went back to my drink. If he wanted to be like this,
fine. I wasn't about to be dragged into his mood. And I'd be damned if
I'd allow this to affect my client. I needed calm and good thoughts to
get this gig over and end a success.
After a few minutes of sound checks, the store was starting to get noisy
with the growing crowd. People were heading toward the back to
where Joey would be performing. I left Matthew to wallow in his
misery as I plastered a smile on my face and went to the back. Joey and
Clara were talking in soft whispers, while people milled around,
waiting for the show to start. Originally, I was going to introduce Joe,
but we decided he didn't need that, so I just gave him the signal to start.
With a quick hug to Clara, he slid his guitar into place and stepped up to
the microphone.
"Hi," he said shyly into the mic. Girls started screaming, and guys
started chanting, and Joey lifted a hand to his ear, his smile growing
into a grin. "Yeah, I'm not sure I heard that."
With that, the crowd went wild. The decibel levels were mind-blowing.
Joey nodded enthusiastically. "That's a fuck lot better. So you're

probably wondering why I' m here."
He tuned the pegs on his guitar as he expertly engaged the audience. He
certainly knew what he was doing. I was impressed. He laughed when
someone shouted, "She wanted to fuck him silly." I turned to Matthew
and rolled my eyes. He didn't bat an eye, just stood there like a statue.
"Well, darlin', that sounds good to me, but honestly I'm here to make
amends to my fans and the public." At the few boos from the crowd, he
gave a humbled shrug. "I've been a shithead lately and well; you see
that girl over there?" He pointed over to me, and I felt my face instantly
turning bright red. "That's Charlie. She and I go way back, and she's
here to help me get my shit together, and I think this idea she came up
with is brilliant."
To that, people started clapping and whistling. I think Clara had the
loudest whistle out of everyone. After a few more words, he started in
on one of his earliest hits and got the crowd rocking and rolling. Even I
couldn't help shaking my hips and bouncing along to the music. He
sounded great. No, he sounded perfect.
He played some old stuff, and then introduced a song that he'd been
working on. It was a slower paced song that showcased the lower
register of his voice. You could hear that tell-tale break in it that had
always given me shivers. Partway into the song, he shut his eyes and
sang about things that he wanted but could never have, love that was
fleeting and destined to end up as dry and cracked as the desert land. It
was beautiful and relevant and touched my heart in a place I thought
had shriveled up. I never once thought the song could be about us, but it
was a perfect song to make me realize that Joey didn't forget me for all
these years.
With the last chord, Joey's eyes stayed closed, but the crowd was in a
frenzy. I just stared at him, wondering what or who that song could be
about. Wondering if it had anything to do with me.
And just as I was lost in my wondering, Matthew breathed in my ear,
"He still cares about you." His warm breath caused shivers to trail
down my spine. He was standing so close to me; I could almost feel
him. I pressed a hand to my chest, his heavenly scent forcing me to
close my

eyes and calm my heart that was beating overtime in my chest.
"I still care for him, too," I murmured, afraid to turn around to face him.
I watched Joey untangle his guitar and head over to the table. Clara
walked alongside him, keeping some of the more aggressive fans at
bay.
"Have you given any thought to rekindling that relationship?" Matthew
asked quietly.
My lips slammed into a straight line. I had thought about it. Not on
purpose, but it had softly skimmed my thoughts. I didn't want to be
known as the ex who got back with him because he was famous. There
was also the cheating aspect. How could I trust him when he traveled
for shows? Women were constantly throwing themselves at him, how
would I know that he wouldn't act on it? Yes, it was a fleeting thought
but now, my thoughts were all a jumble with Matthew directly behind
me. My synapses were firing on all cylinders. Being this close to him
was too overpowering, and I found myself swaying backward, wanting
to feel his broad chest against my back.
I continued to watch Joey, really wondering about that possibility. Sex
with him was one thing, but I didn't think I'd ever be able to trust him
again, and that was a hard line for me. Without trust, there was no
relationship.
Trying to clear my sexually frustrated brain, I took in a fortifying
breath and licked my dry lips. I turned to face Matthew, then stepped
back when I realized we were only inches apart. His hooded eyes had
that sensual look to them. The longing looks he was giving me also
reflected a bit of sadness when he asked about getting back with Joey.
Just watching these emotions flit through Matthew was enough to
confuse and excite me. I bit my lip before answering his question.
"We wouldn't work," I stated simply, then I took a deep breath and
walked away.

t w e lv e
The night was winding down, and I couldn't have been happier with the
way the record store show went. Joey was in his element, and people
left happy and sated. He'd kissed a ton of cheeks, signed plenty of
chests, and had a great time. It was Matthew snarling in the corner that
had me up in arms. I really didn't need his attitude to ruin the end to a
perfect night, and I was about to tell him to go home.
While Clara had some employees breaking down the set behind us, I' d
sat down in the chair beside Joey. He listened as I grumbled about
miserable rat-bastard managers.
"He's in a mood?" Joey leaned into my shoulder, knocking it with his
own.
I ran a hand through my hair, mussing it up more than necessary. "I
don' t know what his problem is. He had a phone call from hell, then
became a fucking nightmare. Christ, am I going to have to deal with
this every time a call doesn't go his way?" Even though Matthew was
being an asshole, he still managed to cause my emotions to jump all
over the fucking place. One minute I want to turn into him and kiss the
hell out of him, and the next I want to stick a bloody stiletto into his
heart. I wiped my face and turned to Joey, softening my gaze. "You
were fantastic tonight."
Joey looked straight ahead. "You haven't heard me in while?" His
shoulders were a bit slumped, and he fiddled with a water bottle while
trying to avoid my eyes.
I shook my head sadly. The words just couldn't come out, and I hoped
he understood. After we broke up, listening to his music just tore at my
soul. Although I couldn't completely get away from it, I didn't actively
seek it out.

"I understand," he said, but I could tell he was moping.
I sighed. Why the hell did he have the right to be upset? He cheated on
me! "Do you?" I asked, a bit harsher than I intended. I looked behind
me to see Clara delegating work. "She seems into you," I stated
nonchalantly, wanting to take the focus away from Memory Lane.
Joey looked behind me and smiled. "Clara is a character, that's for
sure." His green eyes were shining, probably from the adrenaline of
performing. Then he seemed to switch gears, becoming a little more
serious. He raised an eyebrow, gesturing to where Matthew was still
standing with a scowl. "What's going on between you and Matthew?"
"Nothing." I sputtered quickly as I stole a quick glance at Matthew. If
you didn't know the history between the two of us, you'd think he was
jealous of me sitting with Joey. "Same as always." I gave him a tired
grin.
"Never understood why you two didn't get along." He shook his head
and laughed, probably at some memory of me and Matthew trying to
one-up each other. "My best friend and my best girl. You guys
should've been friends," he mused sadly.
"Yeah," I said sadly. "Well that was a long time ago." I tried looking
anywhere but at the longing looks from Joey. I shouldn't have brought
up our complicated past. It wasn't fair to me or to him. I'd gotten over
the bitterness a long time ago, but for some reason, some of it still
managed to grab hold of my heart, splintering it into a thousand shards.
"Not that long ago, Charlie," he said softly.
My breathing hitched when he rubbed a hand behind my neck, playing
with the underside of my hair. It felt good and comforting, but it was a
mistake. I cautiously shook his hand off, pushing my chair back. "I
need to talk to Clara." I jumped up suddenly, tripping my way over to
her.
Before I could get to her, Matthew blocked my path. He was looking
over at Joey squinting at him. "What was that about?" he demanded.
I took a step back. "Not that it's any of your business, but we were
discussing me and him."

Matthew snorted, "I thought you two wouldn't work?" His eyes had
narrowed into tiny slits, but I could see the lustful emotion in them as
well. My body shivered in response. That I could elicit such feelings
from him, surprised me and concerned me. I really didn't know how to
handle this.
I sighed raggedly. "It wasn't that kind of discussion. Now if you'd
please move, I need to talk to Clara."
Instead of letting me go, Matthew took a step closer towering over me
and ran a few fingers down my neck where prickles popped out across
my body. I questioningly stared up him, his smile private at the same
time he stepped back from me waving his hand to let me go.
I talked to Clara for a few minutes, thanking her and handing her an
envelope with the money we negotiated. I was hoping she'd be able to
use it to do something special with the store. She'd mentioned some
ideas about getting in some biographies on rock stars. She wanted a
one-stop shop. I could see her expanding and making all her dreams
come true.
"You ready?" Joey came up to Clara, putting an arm around her
shoulders, pal-like.
"You guys heading out?" I spat out unexpectedly. I wasn't jealous, just
surprised by this turn of events. Taking a deep breath, I did everything I
could to control the emotions that were flooding me. Plus, when had
they made the plans to go out?
Clara spoke first. "Yeah, we're going to get some drinks." She looked at
Joey, then back to me with a bit of confusion on her face. "Did you
want to come?" she asked tentatively. I really didn't mean anything by
my accusation, but it must have looked that way.
I wasn't sure if this was a date, but Joey refused to look at me. After our
little chat a few minutes ago, I was confused. However, I wouldn't give
anyone the satisfaction of knowing how uncomfortable I felt. I pulled
myself up and stood straighter, my chin held high, plastering a fake
smile on my face to let them know that I was perfectly fine with the two
of them heading out. I mean I even thought they'd be a cute couple
together just a while ago. "I think I'll just head back to the hotel and get
some room service."

Clara nodded and thanked me again, then left with Joey. I picked up my
bag from under the table and pulled my phone out. I could take a cab
back to the hotel without an issue, but since I came with Matthew, I felt
sort of obligated to let him know I was leaving.
I glanced across the store. He was talking to one of the customers who'd
come for Joey. I could still see Joey's autograph in Sharpie on her chest.
Then again, she was all chest and not much else. She kept touching
Matthew's arm, while moving her other hand over to his chest.
Approaching them, I rolled my eyes and cleared my throat to get his
attention. "I've called a cab to get me back to the hotel. Just wanted to
let you know." Then I turned on my heel and walked away quickly
before he could reprimand me for leaving.
Unfortunately for me, I wasn't quick enough. I hadn't walked more than
a few feet before I felt his hand tighten around my upper arm, pulling
me around so fast, the momentum flattened me against his solid chest. I
felt both of his arms go around me, pressing me tighter to him.
"What do you want, Matthew?" I tried to wiggle away from him.
"I'll drive you back to the hotel," he growled. His gaze flaring at
me.
I looked over his shoulder to watch the girl he was just flirting with
stare open-mouthed at us.
I didn' t have time for his stupid games. "I said I will take a cab," I
hissed back at him, finally shaking my arm out of his grip and stepping
away from his chest. Ever since that damn phone call, he'd been a royal
bitch, and I didn' t have the energy tonight to deal with whatever
make-believe issues he was dealing with.
Matthew looked down at me with a look of sadness mixed with
expectation. It was a conflicting emotion that I didn't understand at all.
He ran his hand through his hair while glancing distractedly around the
store. "Where's Joey?"
"He and Clara went for drinks, and now I'm going back to the hotel. I' m
tired and hungry." I turned again on my heel, but I could feel him
behind me.
"Let me take you out for dinner then."
I stopped short, not expecting those words out of his mouth. I tilted

my head over my shoulder, a skeptical look on my face. He now wore a
sheepish smile, which entirely replaced whatever had angered him
earlier.
"Why on Earth would I want to have dinner with a complete asshole?" I
raised my eyebrows and propped one hand on my hip. He wasn't the
only one who could be in a mood.
His smile faltered a bit. "I know, I was jerk earlier, just ...something
came up, and it set me off." He took a careful step toward me. "You
said you were hungry, and I could eat something. I'd just rather not eat
alone." He gestured between the two of us.
I stifled a groan and rubbed my forehead, trying to ward off a headache
coming on. Men and their mood swings. I was at my wits end. And I
could feel my quiet evening in my hotel room slipping away from me.
One more look at Matthew's now humbled face, and I knew I was going
to lose this battle. Swallowing a frustrated groan, I reminded myself
that I was really hungry, and eating alone was never fun, even in a
fairly decent hotel room. Matthew watched me expectantly.
"Fine," I sighed. "But we're eating at the hotel."
He nodded his head in my direction. Victory shone in his eyes. When
my eyes met with his, I could see a bit of excitement about spending
more time with me. Why he was doing this was beyond anything I
could understand.
I told the cabbie outside that I wasn't in need of his services. Thankfully
another couple was, and the driver got his fare. Matthew and I drove
silently to the hotel. I looked at my phone for any emails or texts that
might've come in earlier and noticed one from my dad and another
from Andrew. I was in no mood to deal with either, so I marked them to
follow up later.
As we turned onto the road where my hotel was, I told him, "I have a
small table in the room, we can eat there rather than dealing with
crowds in the restaurant," I mentioned.
Matthew took his eyes off the road, giving me a look that I couldn't
interpret, though I felt that familiar heat in my cheeks. I kept my eyes
straight ahead as I realized what I was asking of him. But there was no

way he could be thinking what I thought he was thinking. Bringing him
up to my room for dinner was innocent enough, considering we didn't
really get along. Though the thoughts running through my head lately
were anything but innocent. In fact, my thoughts were turning
positively pornographic, and I needed to clench my thighs and dig
fingernails into my palms to bring myself back. I knew absolutely that I
could not think this way about Matthew. He was Joey's best friend. My
ex-boyfriend's best friend to be matter offact! However, trying to
control these urges or impulses, or whatever I wanted to call them was
becoming more and more difficult, the longer I was in the same space
as him.
As a seventeen-year-old, he was annoying and mean to my
fifteen-year-old self. Eight years later, he was suddenly sexy as fuck
and absolutely dripping with desire. I shook my head to remove those
thoughts, the ones where my tongue was licking down his chest, toward
his belly button and further below, till I met with his...
No! Get a fucking hold of yourself!
"Are you coming, or are you going to stay in here drooling? " he joked
as his brows were raised into his hairline.
"Huh?" My attention snapped to him, and I realized he'd already parked
the car in the hotel lot and had my door open. I closed my eyes, turning
toward him as he leaned over me. It became so suffocating, and I could
feel the heat across my cheeks and dampness in places that were
surprising me. Damn it! Could I really be that attracted to this utter
prick? Grabbing my bag, I quickly exited the car, slamming the door a
bit harder than I meant to.
"I think the hotel restaurant is the best option after all," I said, rushing
ahead of him.
"Oh, no, Charlie." He chuckled, a bit too amused with my earlier
declaration of eating in my room. "Dinner in your room that way we
can go over publicity stuff without being interrupted."
No. Shit. I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. This was not a good
idea. I was literally this close to ripping his clothes off and doing very
wanton things to him. I cursed the shakiness in my voice as I urged, "I
just think that maybe we should talk about that stuff tomorrow."
"Nope." He shook his head, grinning at my discomfort as he pulled

on my arm and led me into the lobby of the hotel.
Could he tell? Could he read my thoughts? Fuck, this was so
embarrassing. I should've known damn well that he wouldn't let it go.
The ride to my room in the elevator was fraught with tension. It didn' t
help that the elevator was crowded, and Matthew was stuck to me like a
fucking glue stick. Because he was a good head taller than me, with the
closeness, it almost looked as if we were wrapped in each other's arms,
and my head fit snuggly into his shoulder. I tried to take calming
breaths, to control my already out of control body. If I turned even one
inch to look up at him, our lips would be so fucking close, I could slip
and my mouth would find his. Yeah, like that would be a bad thing!
Jesus, Charlie, stop. It. Right. Now!
When the elevator dinged alerting us that we finally made it to my
floor, I was able to breathe a sigh of relief. Being stuck with Matthew in
such a tight proximity was not good for my health or my sexual
well-being. I was tuned so tight it felt like I would explode if he
touched me.
I opened all the curtains in the room, flooding the space with moonlight
before I turned on the lamps on the desk and nightstands. I indicated a
chair that Matthew could take, but he sat down on the bed in the middle
of the room. Twitching my lips, I looked around for the remote to turn
the TV on. I set it to local music channel, then found the room service
menu and tossed it to Matthew.
"Order anything you want," I said to him. Of course, it was on the
label's dime, so I imagined he'd order the most expensive meal. I told
him I was in the mood for a simple cheeseburger and fries. Matthew
surprised me when he got the exact same thing. We also ordered a
couple of beers.

"So," I pulled up Joey's schedule as we waited on room service. "We
have the radio show Friday morning, then we have to get Joey over to
the Hollywood Bowl for sound check." I looked at my iPad and back up
at Matthew. "We'd be better off hiring a car to shuttle him back and
forth, don't you think?"
Matthew, still on the bed, leaned back on strong forearms. I swallowed
my growing desire as he leaned all the way back, tucking his arms
behind his head. "Yeah, sure," he said. Was this his way of teasing me?
"Matthew?" I said shakily.
"Yes, Charlie?" he breathed tiredly.
"What are you doing?" I asked tentatively.
"I'm resting before the food gets here." His eyes were closed, arms still
behind his head. "Your bed is extremely comfortable."
I stood off to the side, watching his chest rise and fall with deep,
calming breaths. He wasn't completely on the bed. His legs were
hanging off the end, feet firmly on the floor. I knew right then I had to
get out of the room with him lying on my bed. I needed something to
stop my buzzing body.
"I' m going to take a shower before the food arrives. Make yourself at
home," I said sarcastically.
He waved a hand at me. " M h m m. "
I rushed into the bathroom, trying to calm my damn nerves. Watching
him on the bed—on my bed—was getting to be too much for my
oversexed body. I took my time washing myself, slowly going over my
sensitive parts. Knowing that Matthew was behind the door on my bed
caused thoughts to race through my head. I wasn't sure what I was
doing anymore. Joey was with Clara, and God knew what those two
would get themselves into. I was here, horny and pissed off that I was
finding myself sexually attracted to the one person I never wanted to
give the time of day to.
Once I got out of the shower, I realized that I didn't bring a change of
clothes in the bathroom with me. "Shit!" I swore softly. I said a silent
prayer that Matthew had dozed off and I could quickly grab capris and
a tank. Taking a deep cleansing breath, I wrapped the towel tighter
around

my body and exited the bathroom.
Of course, Matthew was sitting up on the bed, not dozing off. Damn,
damn, damn. I swallowed hard at the look he threw me—pure,
unadulterated lust. He casually swept his eyes down to my naked feet,
up my calves, to my thighs, to where the towel skimmed just below my
ass, and I was speechless, couldn't move from the trajectory beam of
heat he was shooting at me. I held the towel tight against my chest as he
slowly, predatorily got up and walked over and behind me.
He continued his slow perusal of me as he walked around me. The
hunger in his look was heart-stopping. Slowly, very slowly, he reached
out his hand and touched my shoulder with the lightest of touches that I
closed my eyes and gasped. His fingers continued their soft trail up my
neck, over my shoulder blades, to the other side of my neck. Goose
pimples covered my skin as I allowed him to touch me. I needed to say
something to him, I really wanted to stop his soft touches. But that
deep, dark part of me couldn't move or say a word. With my eyes
closed and teeth biting lower lip, I gave in to him.
He leaned down and blew onto my neck, not saying anything, just
lifting my hair and pushing it off to the side. I could feel my pulse
throbbing in my neck in time with the throbbing between my legs. With
both hands, he lightly rubbed my shoulders, then up and down my
neck, causing me to whimper. I could feel my nipples strain against the
terry cloth towel, making it feel a bit uncomfortable. I pulled the towel
tight against my body, my hand fisting the knot at the front of me.
Matthew leaned down behind me, rubbing his nose along my neck, up
to my ear, and over to my cheek. "You smell incredible," he said
gruffly.
I found myself swaying back into him. He continued his ministrations
with his hands and his nose. Once he stood in front of me, his hand
softly against the back of my neck, he tilted my head up a bit. "I want to
kiss you, Charlie," he said softly and oh so, erotically.
I couldn't talk. I was too caught in his thrall. He slowly inched his face
toward mine. I ' d been thinking of this moment. This exact moment. I
kept my eyes closed, waiting for his lips to touch mine. Ever so slight
and soft, he brushed his lips across mine. It was a butterfly touch, but

there was so much in that softness that I gasped, "Matthew," and he
took it as invitation to crash into my mouth. Any thought that was
going through my mind was tossed out the window. This was pure,
unadulterated bliss.
The softness was gone, and pure hunger overtook him. He pulled me
close, continuing to kiss me like I ' d never been kissed before. I
whimpered, groaned, and finally gave in to him, pushing close to him.
Our tongues tangled against each other, causing the both of us to groan.
His hands trailed down my backside, cupping my naked ass under the
towel that was only being held up by the force of our two bodies
pressed together.
"Fuck, Charlie," Matthew growled as he continued to massage my
ass.
I pushed my hips into his, feeling his erection growing bigger in his
jeans. My fingers made way to his hair as I tried to pull him even
closer. I knew at that moment that any relationship Matthew and I had
previously had just became something different, and we were entering
very rocky terrain.
And yet I couldn't stop it. I was helpless, not a thought in my brain,
other than what I wanted to do to him and vice versa. I couldn't get
enough of his lips, his mouth, and his hands. I didn't want him to stop,
and I was ready to push him back onto my bed and give myself to him.
His kiss caused ripples along my body, and I shuddered violent as he
softly bit my bottom lip. "What will I find under this towel, Charlie?"
he asked huskily.
I could only answer with a whimper. My lustful thoughts and the
softness of his voice I could only push myself closer to him.
His fingers slid from my ass over to my belly. Pushing aside the towel,
his fingers walked down toward my core. "How wet will I find you?"
he whispered into my ear, nibbling on it at the same time. I grabbed his
hair tighter, pushing my head into his neck as he slowly went lower to
feel the surprise he was expecting. His fingers found my swollen clit,
and when he rubbed it, I leaned in, lightly biting his shoulder. Fuck, he
was driving me crazy with his finger.
I bit my lip, knowing that his cool fingers were just inches from my

very wet core. Matthew pulled back and looked at me. His hooded eyes
were filled with desire and want. I knew there was something I should
be asking him, but in that moment in time, my brain was mush, and I
just wanted to feel. I looked at him expectantly, and with the barest of
nods, he pushed his fingers inside of me, causing me to moan in
pleasure.
"So, so wet for me, Charlie. So beautiful." He kept his lips on my neck,
lightly nipping and sucking.
I was on stimulating overload. If he continued pumping his fingers
inside of me, I would come. I lifted my right leg to give him better
access as he went deeper than I could've possibly imagined. His fingers
felt at home inside of me.
I groaned, whimpered, begged, and sighed all in one erotic whoosh.
"Don't stop, Matthew. Please..."
"Never, Charlie," he panted, so softly that I couldn't help myself when I
pulled his mouth to mine and kissed him like I ' d never kissed anyone
before. His kiss spoke to me. All the feelings and pent-up lust came out
and overtook me. Even with Joey I never felt the connection I was
feeling with Matthew. I wanted him. Oh, God, did I want Matthew. I
could admit that now. It would definitely complicate things, but Jesus
Christ all I could think about was him. Right or wrong, it felt too good
to stop.
Matthew continued pumping his fingers, but he raised the stakes when
he introduced his thumb to my clit. Within minutes, I was soaring
across the galaxy, trying to keep my knees from buckling under me.
I swiped my hand against his swollen cock, as he groaned in my ear. "I
want you, Charlie."
I pulled back to look at him when the banging on the door completely
destroyed moment. My body was flushed scarlet from his touch, and I
was extremely wired. If he touched me one more time, I ' d explode in a
million pieces. Biting my lip, I turned my head toward the banging.
"Room service," I said dumbly.
Matthew stood there, frustration flooding his face. His body looked
strung tight, and it looked like he was about to hit the room service
waiter. He rearranged himself in his pants and took a deep breath. "Get
dressed and I'll get the food," he said thickly.

I nodded, grabbing what I needed and closing myself into the bathroom
once again.
I stood in front of the mirror, looking at my flushed body. The tips of
my nipples were pink and swollen. My face was overheated with lust.
Lips were swollen with fantastic kisses. And my mind whirred in too
many different directions.

t h i r te en
The alarm droned loudly in my ear as sunlight poured into my room. I
sat up suddenly, wiping my hands down my face as I started to
remember what exactly had taken place last night. My body still tingled
from every touch Matthew placed on me. My lips felt plump from the
harried kisses we shared. Although I woke up alone, my body was still
buzzing. Now the reality of what happened was starting to hit me, and I
felt like I ' d done something completely wicked.
Just thinking of Matthew made my nipples perk up and my bottom half
thrum with unabashed want. Taking the pillow, I covered my face and
groaned into it. How was I supposed to face him today? How was I
supposed to go on like nothing happened, when in actuality I ' d wanted
to rip his clothes off? Most importantly, how was I supposed to keep
this feeling a secret from Joey?
That right there was what brought me back to Earth.
With another groan of frustration into the pillow, I lay back on the bed.
Running my hands through my already tousled hair, I contemplated my
day. Without my iPad nearby, I was trying to remember if I could just
work from the hotel and avoid seeing Matthew altogether.
Probably not.
I sighed, bringing my hands to my face and rubbing the sleep from
eyes. Dinner was tense after everything that happened, and he'd
invariably left soon after. As he got to the door, he took one grave look
at me that froze me in my spot. Then he shook his head and was gone.
As I finally stood up to stretch my sore muscles, I played back that look
over and over again, wondering if he regretted what had happened.
Maybe it was just the stress of everything that made us do what we did.
Taking a brisk shower, I shoved my hair into a ponytail, leaving it

slick and wet. I dressed casually in loose, flowy pants and a peasant
top. It was comfortable, hobo-chic, and perfect. My final decision was
that I would go into the office, but I would not let what happened
between me and Matthew upset the balance of things. So with a deep
breath, I quickly made my way out of the hotel.
Debbi was in her usual spot and greeted me with a kind smile since she
was on the phone. I walked through the double doors, quickly heading
back to the break room for coffee, thanking my lucky stars that a fresh
pot looked to have just been made. I prepared my coffee to my liking
and was about to head back to my office when Matthew entered.
I could feel the air being sucked out of the room as he stood stock still
in the doorway. He was wearing jeans and a Henley-type sweater in a
slate blue, causing his eyes to look like an azure sky. My cheeks were
instantly warm, and desire formed in my gut. Neither one of us moved,
but the stare down was never-ending. Just thinking of his fingers, and
looking down at his long, sturdy digits nearly caused me to lose my
balance. If I wasn't in the employee break room, I ' d run to him and do
things that were considered illegal in most states.
While lost in my sensual thoughts Matthew stood in front of me and
grabbed hold of me before I could fall backward against the counter.
His arm wrapped around my waist, pulling me into his chest. I inhaled
deeply, smelling his usual sexy scent. It was warm and woodsy and a
bit spicy, exactly what Matthew was. I was nervous and feeling
incredibly shy which was not me at all. When I was finally able to pull
my head up and catch his gaze, his eyes darkened to a near black, and
the longing I saw was spellbinding and overwhelming. That he had
these myriad of emotions for me was hard to understand. It wasn't
yearning that shone from his eyes, but something else that I wasn't sure
I wanted to touch upon. I wanted to give him a smile, but all I could
manage was to fumble with my coffee and bite my lip.
However, he had other ideas in his head as he angled his head down to
kiss me again. I turned my head as he caught the corner of my mouth
instead. As much as I wanted to kiss him and tear aforementioned
clothes off, we needed to be professional.
"We shouldn't," I mentioned nervously, falsely. His touches caused

me to war with my feelings. Feelings that were conflicted.
"I know," Matthew replied equally quiet, yet not stopping.
Gulping, I considered all my options. I could walk away, or I could stay
here, and we could continue to stare at each other like two people who
had not a care in the world. But we both knew better.
"It wouldn't be fair to Joey..." My voice trailed away as Matthew's eyes
narrowed. I was trying to be nonchalant, but my heart was racing, and
my palms were clammy. I didn't believe anything I just said. My mind
knew I was using Joey as an excuse, yet, my heart didn't know what to
think. These feelings for Matthew were so far beyond what I ' d
expected, I wasn't even sure what I was thinking anymore. His soft
touches along with his sensual kisses brought me to my knees and what
I wanted to do on my knees was far from pure.
Matthew took a few steps closer to me so he was standing behind me.
"If I recall, Joey cheated on you," Matthew whispered, irritated, into
my ear. His closeness caused more goose pimples to coat my body.
"You're not dating anyone. You're free to be with whomever you want.
No?" His hands skimmed my shoulders.
I shook my head no, this was Joey. I turned back to look at the
perplexed look on Matthew's face.
"I want you, Charlie," he said thickly while putting his hands on my
shoulders. The look in his eyes was one of want and hope.
"We can't, Matthew." I closed my eyes, shaking the immodest thoughts
creeping through my head. I didn't believe a word I was saying and I
wished I was anywhere but trapped in that room with Matthew. It felt
like he was growing larger and taking up all the space in the room.
"Can't or won't?" he asked, his voice tight.
I tried to take a calming breath. "Is there a difference?" I continued to
chew on my lip. Trying like hell to stop the trembling running through
my overheated body, I moved away from him slightly.
He looked me over, no doubt noticing the pink hue to my skin that he
caused. My nipples harden as he continued his perusal of my body. He
looked dead-straight into my eyes, then quickly dropped his gaze to my
lips, as I licked them.
In one quick stride, he swept his tongue across my wanting lips. As

much as I wanted it and him, I tried to find the strength to back up but
these kisses were just too good to stop. Placing my hands on his chest, I
finally managed to pull away and crash back into the counter. The wind
knocked out of me, yet Matthew still caged me with hands on either
side of my body. Yes, we could've finished what we started last night,
but I was embarrassed. I wasn't sure what happened last night. This
morning I suspected he'd had time to think about what he wanted. He
continued to look at my lips like they were the only thing in the world
that would satisfy his hunger.
I closed my eyes, knowing this was a fight I was losing. Before long,
his lips came down so softly and swiftly again I didn't even think to
push him back. No, I opened myself to him and allowed him to kiss me
with all the passion of a crazy person. I tried pulling him closer to
me—while my warring egos were forcing me to pull away and stop this
craziness—but there was really nowhere for him to go. I just let go and
went with it. My hand dug into his shoulders as his fingers slid up my
neck, and he wrapped my ponytail around his hand. With the purchase
he now had, he forced my head up and continued kissing my neck, then
traveled to that spot behind my ear that caused a sensual whimper to
escape.
"We. need. to stop," I breathed as he kissed my neck, lightly sucking
my sensitive skin.
"No," he growled. "I want you, Charlie, and I should've had you last
night, but you needed more time." His hands were moving rapidly and
trailing all over my body until I was completely lit up like a Christmas
tree.
"Matthew, please, people will walk in," I whimpered into his mouth as
I heard voices in the hallway. I placed both of my hands on his cheeks
to pry him away, even though it was the last thing I wanted.
He staggered back as if shocked by electricity and rubbed both hands
down his face, then he ruined his neatly arranged hair by running one of
them through it. "What the fuck are you doing to me, Charlie?"
I stood there for a moment, panting. I had no words. I didn't know what
I was doing. All I did know was that we had to stop whatever this was.
It wasn't fair to Joey or Matthew. I didn't think of myself, but

knowing how guarded I ' d kept my heart, there was the very real
possibility that this could get messy quickly.
"I' m Joey's publicist, Matthew," I reasoned with him while I still ached
for him. "Also his ex-girlfriend. What part of messy don't you
understand?"
He opened his mouth to say something but decided against it. Instead
he just turned on his heel and stomped out of the room. I sank against
the counter and took a few breaths. What the hell was happening to me?
How was I allowing my body to rule my brain? I 'd not once thought of
Matthew in a sexual way. Never thought we'd ever get to this point. But
damn, did I want to go there with him. I knew I was using Joey as an
excuse, but I was so confused I didn't know what else to say. My
conflicted feelings for Matthew warred with what was right and wrong.
With coffee in hand, I finally made my way to my office. I had a couple
of calls and needed to call Daddy and Andrew back. I figured Andrew
would be the easiest one to deal with, so I called him first.
"How's it going, Charlie?" he asked in a nice, concerned manner.
"Not too bad," I said, trying to hide the shake in my voice. "We had a
good turnout at the record store last night. Joey was on point, and it was
a great time. Just waiting for the morning he's on the radio show."
"I've noticed he's managed to stay out of water fountains, and the
news," he chuckled, but I knew he was trying to get some gossip out of
me. I tried not to chuckle.
"Yes, Andrew, keeping that nose of his clean. Literally and
figuratively." I sighed.
"Well," he muttered despondently. "You're missed in the office. The
coffee here has sucked since you've been gone."
I rolled my eyes and barked out a laugh. "There's a Keurig in the break
room," I reminded him.
"Okay, well then the conversation is lacking. That damn machine won't
even talk to me." He joked.
Another eye roll. "I miss you too, Andrew," I said fondly. "Daddy
called yesterday, anything going on I should know about? I've been
purposely avoiding him."

He informed me that nothing major was going on back in Phoenix;
well, nothing majorly important. Tad was his normal domineering self,
and he wasn't a bit concerned with his only daughter living the high-life
in L.A. I laughed at that lie, as we made a little smaller talk, and I let
him go. I needed to call Joey anyway.
He and I had planned to have lunch to go over questions that I would
send over to the station. To say that I was nervous was an
understatement. After what transpired with Matthew, last night and this
morning, I felt like I was losing control, and I didn't need Joey finding
out about any of this.
He'd made reservations at The Ivy, an upscale, celebrity hangout that
for some reason made me even more nervous. I took a cab to the
restaurant nervously hoping that I was dressed okay. I knew it was only
lunch, but the idea of being around the rich and famous was a bit
distracting. Before stepping out of the cab, I paid and tipped the driver.
I made my way into the restaurant and gave my name and party. "Of
course, Ms. Banks, Mr. Carino is already waiting for you," the hostess
mentioned. I tried to control my heartbeat with deep breaths and not
looking around at the various celebrities that I knew were already there.
Once I was brought to my table, Joey stood up and gave me a quick
peck on the cheek and a full-body hug. We made light chit-chat before
I handed him the list of questions. The idea was that w e ' d go over what
was and wasn't allowed.
"You know I don't care about this shit, Charlie," he said exasperatedly,
looking over the questions then tossing the paper back at me.
I quirked a brow at him, placing the paper directly in front of me. "Joey,
I understand you want to be an open book, but you need to at least have
an air of mystery around you."
He snorted as I realized what I said was completely ridiculous. "I have
no secrets. I am an open book." He looked over the menu.
I glanced around at the uppity lunch crowd. Some were having
meetings, probably making multimillion dollar deals, and there we
were, going over interview questions.
"What?" I took a sip of my water before finishing. "If someone

asks you about your social life or who you're dating? What if they ask
about me?" I asked pointedly.
"I can handle that," he said easily, a smile crossing his face, but I wasn't
sure I truly believed him. Why else would I be here?
I sighed, crossing my arms over my chest. "Why did we come here for
lunch?" It was a sad attempt at changing the subject. but Joey shrugged
like it didn't matter. Now it was my turn to be exasperated. "Okay, spill
it, what is going on with you?"
Joey sagged back into his chair with a dramatic sigh. "I'm just tired,
Charlie." Maybe he had a point there, there were bags under his eyes,
but something else had to be going on.
"Is my being here distracting you?" It was a pointed question, and I
wanted an answer.
Joey leaned forward on the table, his arms in front of him. "Jesus,
Charlie, you're sexy as fuck. I haven't seen you in three goddamn years,
and all of sudden here you are taking charge of my life. Telling me
what to do, who to do, and when to do it. Yeah, it's a bit distracting," he
said, rubbing his eye with his index finger.
I squirmed in my chair feeling badly that he had all these conflicting
emotions because of my arrival. In reality, I honestly had the same
issues. Anything between us was definitively over, but I still cared for
him, always would. Like the saying: 'You never forget your first.'
"I understand how you feel, Joey," I said honestly, "trust me, I do. But
we both have a job to do, and I want to make sure that you come out on
top. Your popularity is important, and I know you still want to be
relevant. That is what I ' m here to do." My hope was that I would come
out of this with my sanity still intact.
His green eyes pinned me in my seat as I started to say something else.
Here I was having lunch with Joey Carino, who thousands of women
would give their left tit to be with, and I ' m telling him that he's just a
job to me. When did this get all so ridiculously complicated?
A young girl came up to our table, giddily asking Joey for his
autograph. As it was not welcomed at The Ivy, Joey tried to do it as
surreptitiously as possible. He gave her a slight kiss on the cheek,
thanking her for being a fan. She pressed a hand to her cheek and

sauntered off in a daze.
With our food finally delivered, we ate quietly. I got the overpriced
Caesar salad, and he had the overly heavy and expensive lobster mac n
' cheese. "How's your food?" I asked after taking a bite of my salad.
"It's good, you want to try some?" he held out his fork, but I shook my
head no. We skipped coffee and dessert, so Joey got the check and paid
with a black credit card that only rich millionaires are privy to. When
we finally got up to leave, the maître d ' informed us that paparazzi had
staked out the front door. Whether they were there for Joey or the
bazillion other big name celebrities wasn't known, but we took caution.
Joey was in front of me, and as we made it to the door, he grabbed my
hand, pulling me behind him. The paparazzi were ferocious with their
snapping cameras and flashers going off. I felt like I was being blinded,
and it almost sounded like a thousand automatic rifles being fired at
one time. People were yelling for Joey to stop and take a picture.
Photographers were asking if I was his girlfriend. The whole thing was
a mob scene. One photographer got so close I nearly collided with him.
I tried backing up, but there were too many people engulfing us.
Joey, still holding my hand, turned around and pushed the offending
photographer back. "Your parasites, leave her the fuck alone!" he
shouted.
I stood there speechless.
"C'mon miss, you can tell us!" an anonymous photographer yelled out.
"What's your name?"
Another one asked for Joey to wrap his arm around my shoulder for
that million-dollar pic. I could barely see two inches in front of me with
all the flashes. I didn't even understand why they needed such strong
flashes with the bright sun outside. I held my hand up to protect my
eyes when a surge in the crowd pushed me forward. I flung my hands
out to find my balance, but it was too late, I realized as my hands and
knees collided with the sidewalk. I could feel the gravel digging into
my palms and my knees burning from being skinned. Looking up, all I
could see were throngs of people descending to where I was, and they
weren't about to help me. I could hear voices from the crazy fans that
had gathered to get to Joey.

"Hey!" I growled as some fan stepped on my pinkie. Goddammit that
stung! I tried to push myself up, but the surge kept coming. I knew I
was going to get trampled. I tried like crazy to push myself up, but
people were still pushing into me. I couldn't even catch my breath. I
was absolutely petrified that no one would be able to get to me. I
covered my head as people stumbled over me, I was trying with all my
might to yell for Joey. After what seemed like hours, people finally
disbursed and Joey was there—looking angelic with the sun
backlighting him— picking me up from the ground. My pants were
ruined with a hole in the knee, and I was certain the back of my shirt
was ruined from being walked over. I was sore and shaking.
"Are you okay, Charlie?"
The tears poured down my cheeks as I looked around at the paparazzi
still shooting. Was this for real? Was this Joey's life? Utter chaos? I
couldn't imagine it. The shock of not being able to walk around without
being grabbed and groped, or not knowing if you'd be able to get away
from a mob of screaming fans when they descended upon you like
Jesus striking down a sinner. Even though I was injured and scared, my
heart was breaking for him.
Joey wrapped me in his arms, hiding my head in his chest. Grown-up
me would've fought it, but at the moment I felt weak and helpless. I
couldn't fight. All I wanted was to be comforted. So I let him comfort
me as he attempted to carry me to his car.
"I'm so sorry, Joey. I didn't realize how bad this would be." It was then
that the tears came down in torrents.

f o u r te en
The paparazzi were insistent and didn't leave us alone until finally the
police arrived so we could get to the car without any more incidents. I
was a mess. My clothes were ruined, and my hair was pulled out of the
ponytail that I stuck it in this morning. I had scrapes on my palms and
knees. Once we got into the car, Joey looked me over, checking my
head for any cuts. Thankfully, the only thing that was really ruined was
my pride. I was sure I ' d be the laughing stock of the tabloids by the
morning.
I roughly brushed the tears from my cheeks, refusing to allow myself to
wallow or feel sorry for myself. I just happened to get stuck in the
middle of a furious mob, and I survived. That was a fucking
accomplishment as far as I was concerned.
Joey cupped my cheek with his hand, using his thumb to rub the dirt off
of it. "Are you okay?" He sounded sincere, but I could tell with the
pulsing of his jaw that he was itching to fight with someone.
A sob escaped my throat, and he pulled me closer. When he brought his
hand to the back of my head, I flinched.
"Dammit," he cursed. "You're bleeding a little bit."
"Just," I faltered a bit. "Take me back to Matthew's office, please. He
might have a first-aid kit around." What if I had a concussion?
Joey was thinking the same thing. "Charlie, what if you have a
concussion?" Joey twisted his body to check the cut, but he said it
didn't look bad, just badly placed. When we were finally able to get
away with the help of a traffic cop, we rode in silence.
"I haven't seen it that bad in a while, Charlie," Joey said quietly as we
turned down Robertson Boulevard, the police still giving us a usual
procession.
"I guess if you throw in fresh blood, the sharks circle venomously."

I grimaced. "I honestly thought I ' d never get up. Having people walk
on me was the scariest thing ever. Those people are fucking crazy." I
closed my eyes, trying to forget the feeling of being helpless. But the
tears still tracked down my cheeks.
He nodded, but kept his eyes on the road. Thankfully, we were only ten
minutes from Matthew's office. When I walked by Debbi's desk, and
she stared at me openmouthed, I had a feeling it wasn't because Joey
was escorting me. She'd seen him more times than she could count on
both hands. She probably didn't expect me to come back, looking like I
had been mauled by a lion.
"What the hell happened to you?" she asked curiously as her brown
eyes rounded to the size of dinner plates.
"Crazy fans and paparazzi," I said mockingly, my body still a bundle of
shaking nerves.
She shook her head and muttered something unintelligible.
"Do you have a first-aid kit? I ' m bleeding a bit on my scalp." I asked,
walking gingerly over to Debbi's desk.
Watching me, she jumped up immediately and pulled down a kit from
the cabinet behind her. "Take the whole thing. Do you want me to help
you?" she asked, concern littering her expression.
I smiled genuinely at her, trying not to wince at the pain in my head. "I
should be fine. Is Matthew here?"
"Yeah, he's eating his lunch in his office." She looked at me kindly, her
expression sad. "Want me to tell him you're both here?"
I turned to Joey, who shook his head no. "I'll just head down to his
office," he said.
Debbi shrugged her answer and buzzed him in.
"I'm going to fix up in the bathroom," I told the both of them.
Joey nodded and walked away. Debbi just gave me a sad smile.
In the bathroom, I was better able to see the damage. My hair was a
mess, my mascara was leaking down my face, and my body was sore.
Carefully, I tugged the hairband out of my hair and washed the back of
my scalp with a soapy paper towel. I winced from the pain, but it was a
necessary evil. It had to be cleaned. Because my hair was long, I wasn't
able to put any anti-biotic ointment on it. I just cleaned it the best I
could

and ran a few more wet paper towels over the other dirty parts of me. I
tried scrubbing my face of leftover traces of makeup, but my eyes were
bright red and swollen from the tears. Taking in my reflection, I sighed.
Now I ' d have to go back to the hotel to change. With that decision
made, I decided I ' d be better off soaking in a bath and working from
there.
I was finishing up when I heard a commotion outside the ladies room,
and then the door flew open. Matthew was standing in the doorway,
panting, looking like he could murder someone right then and there.
His eyes had a wild look to them that I ' d never seen before.
Joey stood behind him, his eyes wide like saucers. He cocked his head
to the side as if he were questioning me. Or maybe he was questioning
Matthew's insane reaction.
Matthew' s eyes were everywhere, taking me in, searching for injuries.
His hands were balled into white-knuckled fists. "What the fuck..." He
stopped and wheeled around to Joey who stepped back a bit. "This is
your fault, asshole."
"I' m fine," I said weakly, pushing myself back against the tiled
bathroom wall.
Matthew stalked over to me, studying me still, taking my hand, turning
me around so he could look at my scalp which Joey must've told him
was bleeding. I stifled a cry as he parted the hair and took a closer look.
"Just a scrape, Charlie." I was surprised at the relief in his voice. "You
got it cleaned up nicely."
His fingers lingered a bit longer on my hair, barely brushing my neck
until I shivered in response. He moved in front of me and placed his
hands on my shoulders, working his way down to my hands, feeling to
see if anything was broken.
"Nothing's broken, just my pride." I managed a joking smile this time,
but his gaze snapped up to me. I knew he could see the tears lingering
on my lashes.
I shriveled a little as he shot a scathing look over his shoulder at Joey.
"How could you let this happen? She could've been killed!"
Joey leaned against the doorway. His shoulders slumped slightly. He
was already a mess and Matthew's interrogation wasn't helping matters.
"You think I don't know that?" He muttered something else that

I couldn' t make out. "It happened so fast, there was no warning. One
minute she's holding onto my hand, next thing she's not, and she's on
the ground. I did everything I could to get to her and break through
those assholes. Jesus, Matthew, you're acting like her fucking
boyfriend. You're not her boyfriend," he shot at him. His fiery eyes shot
daggers at Matthew' s outrage.
"Neither are you, Joey! " Matthew growled, taking a step away from
me and toward Joey. I wondered if I should step between them, but I
didn' t feel the courage at the moment. Matthew continued, "But it is up
to you to keep her safe and not get her fucking killed." He started
pacing.
"I just want to go home," I managed while the two men had a stare
down.
Joey looked down at the floor.
Matthew turned to me. The anger melted from his face and switched to
a look of complete adoration. "I'll take you home." Then Matthew did
something so unexpected that I thought Joey's eyes were going to pop
out of his head. Matthew placed a soft kiss on my forehead before
walking out of the bathroom.
Sticking his hands in his pockets, Joey looked over at me. His head
hanging low, a contrite look to his expression. "I really am sorry. You
have to know that I would never allow anything like this to happen to
you again or ever. It just took place so fast, Charlie."
I walked over to him, pulling him into a hug. "I know, Joey," I tried to
convince him. "It was frightening, and I ' m still shaking."
"They're goddamn leeches is what they are."
I nodded, agreeing with him. If I never saw another paparazzi in my
lifetime that would be fine with me. I pulled back, and Joey glanced
back at the door that Matthew had just exited.
"Anything going on with you two?" he asked, a bit defeated. It was
becoming the afternoon from hell. "He seemed worked up when I told
him, then he ran down here like a bat out of fucking hell."
I dropped my gaze to the linoleum. There wasn't really anything going
on between us. Nothing that Joey needed to know anyway, and
certainly nothing that would ever happen again. I just shook my head
and mumbled, "He just gets worked up. You know how he is."

Joey narrowed one eye. He didn't seem convinced. "Do you want him
to bring you back to the hotel? I don't mind—"
I held my hand up to stop him. "It's fine. I ' m going to soak in a hot tub
with a glass of wine and try to tune out the events of the day." I sighed
wistfully, knowing damn well that I ' d be remembering the crush of
people for a while with nightmares. "Remember, we have to be at the
radio station at the piss-crack of dawn tomorrow. Shit!" I cringed in
pain as I ' d just remembered I had to fax over the questions. Ah, well,
maybe I could ask Debbi to do it as a favor.
Joey looked down at me questioningly, as if I was having an internal
debate with myself, which I was kind of. "Your questions," I told him.
"They need to get over to the station." I waved him off when he started
to open his mouth. "I'll ask Debbi. Shouldn't be a problem." I looked
down at my torn clothes and let out a sad sigh. "I need to get out of
these."
Joey moved in closer and cupped my face with his both hands. "I am so
sorry, Charlie," he said softly. There were so many emotions in my
eyes, some from the Joey I used to know, and some from the Joey I ' ve
gotten to know this past week. He was definitely a changed man,
perhaps some for the good and maybe not so good. The jury was out as
to which one I preferred. Joey just stared at me for a bit then so
carefully he brushed his lips with mine. When he finished kissing me,
he just shook his head and headed out of the ladies room.
With the way that Matthew was treating me, you'd think I 'd just had
major brain surgery and needed a damn nurse twenty-four/seven. He
was insistent that he walk up to the room with me and made sure that I
wasn't dizzy or feeling sick. He muttered about taking me to urgent
care, but I made him stop. If I thought I had a concussion, I would've
gone

happily. All I was dealing with was a few bruises, a nervous psyche,
and once again a pissed off manager.
In my room, I grabbed some sweats and a T-shirt to change into. I was
aching to get in the tub, but Matthew didn't seem like he was leaving
anytime soon. When I came out of the bathroom, he had his elbows on
his knees and his face in his hands, sitting on my bed. Thoughts of last
night came flooding back. I felt that familiar flush in my cheeks.
At the sight of me, Matthew jumped up. "Are you okay?"
I bit my lip, trying to look anywhere but up at his overly-concerned
gaze. He rubbed his hands up and down my arms because I was
shivering. If he only knew it wasn't the cold affecting me. I finally
nodded my head in answer to his question.
"Do you want me to stay?"
I wanted him to stay, but I didn't. We were playing with fire right now.
If Joey even suspected anything was going on between the two of us?
Well, even I couldn't imagine his reaction.
I moved from biting my lip to the inside of my cheek. I was torn.
Having Matthew here would be a comfort. I could still feel that
helplessness wallowing up inside of me. I just didn't know if I could
control myself with all these feelings for him on my surface. There was
a bed in the middle of the room—the very reason I should say no.
Although, I wasn't sure how far w e ' d take things. My frame of mind
was fragile.
"Charlie?" Matthew lifted my chin with gentle fingers, and I froze in
his stare.
I thought back to Joey's soft, friendly kiss and realized that what I
needed right now was fire and heat and everything that Matthew was
throwing my way. His eyes were questioning but respectful. I had a
millisecond to think things through, and I wasn't sure what the hell I
wanted. Other than a glass of wine and a soak.
Before I could make up my mind, Matthew's lips ghosted over mine,
nipping and tugging, causing my internal struggle to dissipate. He
kissed the edges of my lips with a passion that went straight through me
and down to my feet. He licked, tasting every inch of my lips, but never

once trying to breach them with his tongue. Closing my eyes, I could
feel every inch of his hard body as I tried to pull him closer. I was going
crazy. I wanted more, I craved it, but he was holding back on purpose,
taunting me. He pulled my bottom lip between his teeth, slightly adding
pressure. The sensation shot down to my clit as a moan escaped from
my lips. His fingers felt like feathers against the curve of my neck.
My hands, of their own accord, worked their way up to his neck,
tangling in the hair that scraped against his shirt. His hair was so soft,
curling just slightly at the ends. With a sigh and a shudder, we both
opened our mouths and started devouring each other. He pulled me up
so I was able to wrap my legs against his slim waist. I was at the perfect
height that both of us wouldn't get cricks in our necks.
"Oh, Charlie," Matthew whispered. Just hearing him say my name
softly caused shivers to descend my body. "I need you, Charlie. So, so
much."
I pulled away for a minute, watching his eyes as they changed from
want to lust to just a bit of adoration. So I did what any hot-blooded
woman would do, I attacked him.
My tongue sought his, and they tangled in an erotic play. Just like the
other night, I don't think I ' d ever been kissed like this. We were all
tongue and teeth, his hands running up and down my back. I couldn' t
get enough of him right now. Matthew walked us backward toward the
bed and sat down heavily, protecting my legs from being squashed
underneath him. I squirmed on his lap as I tried to readjust my position.
"Charlie, you keep doing that, we'll be doing more than just kissing," he
growled.
I could feel his arousal growing under me, but I wasn't sure if he could
feel how wet and ready I was for him. Just the thought of wanting him
caused me to pull back from his lips.
"What are we doing, Matthew?" I nearly cried out. I ' d felt like I ' d been
doused with ice cold water. My feelings for Matthew completely out of
control, I was becoming a crazy person when he was around.
"Fuck if I know," he panted, "but should we stop?" He pushed his
hardened cock into my groin, which in return triggered a moan from
me.
"Don't do that," I whispered while squeezing my eyes shut to the

brilliant feeling he was making me feel.
He did it one more time—laughing quietly, while watching my
expressions of lust—and my eyes rolled into the back of my head. My
sex receptors were firing in every direction, and it was getting harder to
not just throw myself at him.
"We can't do this to Joey..." I tried to say, but it was pointless.
Matthew continued licking up my neck, nibbling on my ear,
completely ignoring everything I was saying.
I tried again, speaking between heavy pants. "It's.. .not.. .shit!"
He pressed his lips just under my ear in the one spot that made me go all
gooey and pliant in his hands. "You like that, huh?" He sounded
pleased with himself as he continued his ministrations of my erogenous
zone.
"I can't think when you do that," I murmured, closing my eyes. I was
enjoying this way more than I should.
"I don't want you thinking, Charlie," he said gruffly. "I want you
enjoying this. I told you yesterday and this morning. I want you," he
said while looking at me with more emotion than I could handle. His
tongue licked at my bottom lip. "You're so smart..." A small nip of the
same lip. "You're sexy as hell..."
I groaned as he pushed me over that edge with just his lips. "We hate
each other," I reminded him between kisses. But it seemed silly after
saying it. Here we were ravaging each other, and I was still carrying a
childish resentment?
A chuckled exploded from his mouth. "Hate is strong word. Dislike,
maybe? Sexually attracted to each other, most definitely." He pulled
back for a second, looking straight into my eyes and it was then, that I
saw what I didn't want to. An emotion so great that I had to close my
eyes to it. "Don't fight it, baby."
My eyes flipped open at the term of endearment. "It's not right,
Matthew. Too many variables involved. One that includes my job."
Matthew sighed and stopped, and I immediately regretted what I just
said. As if I weighed nothing, he plucked me off of his lap and gently
set me down beside him.
He rubbed a hand across his face, which I understood as his way of

cooling down. I slowly moved away from him, trying not to regret
shutting him down for the hundredth time. He took several deep
breaths, gazing straight ahead and pitching forward to lean his arms on
his knees. "Did you hate what I did to you last night. and just now?"
"No," I whispered. I couldn't tell him that I was too turned on and most
likely wanted everything he wanted to give me.
"Are," he stopped to gather his thoughts, running a hand through his
mussed up hair, "you no longer entitled to being happy because we
happen to have a history together that includes a mutual friend that just
so happens to be an ex-boyfriend from high school?" His voice was
clearly pained as he added, "Do you still have an issue with me?"
I felt my gut twisting. He looked like a lost kid with insecurities I never
knew about. Maybe he did have insecurities. Still, I had to be honest. I
shook my head. I never had an issue with him. It was him that had the
issue with me. I shot up from my spot and reached for him, grabbing his
hand. "You've always hated me, Matthew. You were rude and mean
and said terrible things to me."
Matthew got off the bed and paced around. He ripped a hand through
his hair, his eyes wildly jumping about the room. "You were fucking
my best friend! I was goddamned jealous, Charlie."
"You were...what?" Jealous? No way. Jealous of what? Wait.. .did he
have feelings for me back then? Holy shit. Why would Matthew be
jealous? This just didn't make any sense. Joey and I were a couple.
Matthew knew that.
Matthew sighed deeply. "Joey wanted to spend all his time with his
girlfriend and not with his friends who were in the band with him. He
was missing practices, blowing us off for you," he muttered angrily.
So that wasn't it at all. He never had feelings for me. I felt my face
reddening with anger. "Well," I snatched my hand back from his,
placing both of my hands on my hips to confront him. "I' m sorry if
your best friend wanted to spend time with his girlfriend. I mean, that's
what people do when they' re dating."
Matthew tilted his head up to the ceiling as if he was looking for
guidance. His hands were crossed against the top of his head. "Charlie,
he was choosing you over us. We were highly pissed off teens," he

groaned.
And? "That still doesn't explain why you hated me or were so mean to
me," I said softly, tired of being angry with him.
He turned to look at me. In that moment, the softness in his eyes
returned. He opened his mouth to say something, but closed it. "It's not
important. Obviously, you feel differently than I do." He looked toward
the door. "I'll just head out then."
Now he was leaving? How the fuck did we go from making out to this?
I was getting whiplash from his damn moods. "Matthew, we can
t a . "
"No," he said sharply a look of annoyance and loss showing on his face.
"It's fine, we're on different pages here. I ' l l see you tomorrow."
Without a goodbye, he stalked out the door, and I was left for the
second day in a row, highly aroused and completely conflicted, and so
fucking confused with how my body was reacting to Matthew. What
the hell was going on with him? Why did he want me?

f if t een
With bated breath, we arrived on time at the radio station. All questions
were faxed over, thanks to Debbi, and I was keeping fingers crossed
that everything would go according to plan. One thing we hadn't been
able to talk about was Joey picking a winner on air, but I thought that
would be a cool aspect to his interview, being able to talk to the fan
who won tickets to his show.
The producer of the morning show prepped Joey on the ins and outs of
the studio and assured him that he didn't have anything to worry about.
Joey seemed pretty easy going once everything seemed to fall into
place. He was overly concerned with my injuries, but I shooed him
away, letting him know I was fine. A bit of make-up and I was able to
cover up the bruise on my cheek. My hand was sore from being
trampled on, but nothing was broken, thank goodness. Once he was
whisked away, I stayed behind in the producer's booth with my own
headphones so I could hear everything that was going on. Joey looked
toward me with a nervous tic. I understand performing live in front of
fifty thousand people, but I didn't exactly understand why h e ' d be
nervous on a radio show. Once the show went live and he was
introduced, he seemed to relax. The DJs joked along with each other
making Joey feel right at home. I liked this and gave him a thumbs up.
They would talk to him for a few, play a song of his, and then go back
to the interview.
The banter between the male and female DJs was easygoing and
casual. They talked about Joey's breakout into the music scene, how
fast his fan base had grown, and how he seemed to be shuttled into the
fame stratosphere in a short amount of time.
He nodded, even though listeners couldn't see. "Yeah, everything came
together really quickly. My first single 'Adore" hit the charts really

fast and from there, everything just took off."
I smiled when I remembered the first time we heard his song on the
radio. I was at school, and Joey called me screaming. A moment I ' d
never forget.
The male DJ asked his question. "With fame comes rumors and well,
you, Joey have been the target of quite a few. Mind clearing a few of
these up?"
I thought that was safe enough. Not digging into his personal life. Joey
smiled easily. "What rumors are you talking about exactly?" I bit my
lip, unsure if that was the best answer he could've given, but I ' d have to
wait it out like everyone listening would.
The female DJ mentioned, "Well it's been allegedly reported that you
have quite an expensive drug habit and that you've been in and out of
rehab. That you also hook up with various escort agencies during such
benders."
Joey rubbed his chin as he contemplated his answer. "Well, first of all,
I've dabbled in a few recreational things here and there. I can honestly
tell you that I ' v e never been to rehab, and I don't really think I have a
difficult time finding a girl to keep me company. " He smirked at the
female DJ, and I rolled my eyes. The interview continued on in the
same vein until a website was brought up and showed to Joey.
"You mean like the girl who you nearly got trampled yesterday?" The
male DJ showed Joey pictures of me on the ground crying and him
looking like an avenging angel.
Shit! I begged the producer to bring up the same page they were
looking at. What I saw was horrendous. Joey looked murderous, and I
looked like a frail little rabbit. There were pictures of him physically
attacking a photographer who was impeding his attempt to get to me.
There were pictures of him holding me tightly as we made it to his car,
and then there was that one photo that looked like he was about to kiss
me.
"Dammit!" I spat, and then turned to the producer. "Can you turn me on
so I can talk to him?"
He waved at me and pushed a button.
I took a deep breath. "Joey, you can stop this line of questioning.

I ' m sorry I didn't check the sites this morning. I wasn't thinking." I
wasn't sure if he could communicate back to me, so I just apologized,
and he shrugged his shoulders. The look he gave me was thoughtful,
and I appreciated that he wasn't upset with me for my oversight.
He went back to the question. "I was having lunch with an old
friend—"
The male DJ interrupted. "Who we've found out was your high school
girlfriend."
"Ex." Joey nodded. "Yes, we dated in high school. We were surrounded
by a mob of fans and the paps. Things escalated and she was knocked
down. I was simply protecting a friend."
Female DJ: "That must've been incredibly scary. Is your friend
okay?"
I rolled my eyes. They didn't care one iota about me. They just wanted
juicy gossip.
Female DJ continued: "Were you lunching with her to woo her
back?"
Joey barked a laugh at that one. "No, Charlie and I are just friends."
Finally, they started talking about his concert that would take place
tonight. During that line of questions, they held a contest for the
ninety-fifth caller to win tickets. The surprise would be that Joey would
answer the call after it went through producers. I let myself blow out a
relieved breath. Joey handled himself really well, and I was proud of
him. Though, I was kicking myself for not scouring the web this
morning. I could only imagine what Matthew would say when he saw
the pictures. And Lord knows, knowing Matthew, he'll see them.
Matthew had been a no-show today, and I wasn't sure if I was happy or
relieved that h e ' d called Joey, begging off and telling him that he' d
meet him at the Bowl. From the studio, Joey looked back at me, and I
smiled toward him. Today was a slam dunk. H e ' d pulled it off and
came across as funny, easygoing, and smart. Everything I was hoping
for.
After about twenty-five minutes of on air time, they started to wrap
everything up. During short commercial breaks or station ID breaks,
I ' d

noticed the female DJ flirting and touching Joey's arm. She may have
looked innocent, but from one woman to another, I knew that was
anything but. Joey was gorgeous, and any woman would have to be
dead to not see that. But watching her outwardly flirt with him bothered
me.
I knew I had no right to be jealous, especially with what was or wasn't
going on between me and Matthew. Joey and I had a history. And yes,
I ' d always have certain feelings for him, but I couldn't allow myself to
get caught up in anything relating to those feelings. I wouldn't allow
myself to give him any hope of the two of us getting back together. I
would have to put my foot down and make him realize that I ' m here to
do a job and in order to do it well, feelings and emotions cannot and
will not play a role. While thinking these very good points, Joey
knocked on the window, indicating that he was finished. He hugged the
female DJ and shook the other's hand, then walked out into the corridor
where I was waiting.
I noticed a wry smile on his face. "What?" I asked.
He put a hand into his back pocket and pulled out a post-it note (pink,
of course) with a phone number on it. I just shook my head and tried to
muffle my laugh with my hand.
"She was kind of obvious," he said, trying to smother a laugh.
"Oh, yeah, I thought she'd be dry humping you by the end of the
interview."
He threw a look at me and barked out a laugh. "Oh, Charlie. No filter
with you, huh?"
I shrugged my shoulders. Had I ever really had a filter?
The car I hired dropped Joey off at home since he had a ton of stuff to
do before tonight's show, and I headed back to Matthew's office. I ' d
hired bodyguards for Joey, and they should've been at his house,
waiting

for him to get him safely to the venue. I was hoping to get a few things
done and finally call my father back. I was being a neglectful daughter
and an even worse employee. I ' d also have to remember to call my
mom and find out how Paco was doing. I missed my neurotic pup.
When I did call my dad, I was secretly hoping it'd go right into
voicemail.
Unfortunately, I got, "Tad Banks."
I rolled my eyes. He sounded so pretentious.
"Hi, Dad."
"Well, it's about time you called me back." He sounded a bit annoyed
with me and yeah, I deserved that. "How are things going?"
"Really well. Joey's concert is tonight. We had an interview with the
largest radio market in L.A. this morning. He's been keeping it clean
this week. I ' m proud of him."
He cleared his throat. "You guys aren't doing anything..." The line of
questioning dropped off.
"Dad!" I yelled. "Really?" Did he honestly think that I would get
involved with a client?
He chuckled. "Just want to make sure you're doing okay."
I sighed and rubbed my forehead, feeling the beginning of a stress
headache. "Things are status quo, Dad. I ' m not interested in Joey like
that anymore." Now being his friend? Entirely different situation.
"Good," he said firmly. "Glad to hear it. Your mother called me this
morning. She saw the pictures of you nearly being trampled. Care to
tell me what happened?" He sounded more concerned than pissed,
typical dad.
I went over the ugly details, explaining that no one was at fault—except
the paparazzi— and that I had a minor scrape on my head. I hated
having to relive that episode again and again, but this was probably
only the beginning. People were bound to ask questions. When I
realized the time, I ended the call. I still needed to grab some food and
caffeine. It was going to be a late night, and I ' d need to be fully
functional.
I started pacing around my office realizing that Matthew was nowhere
to be found, and I found myself regretting that. I had a feeling

that he was avoiding me and well with the concert tonight, he wouldn't
be able to avoid me all day. However, there was an entirely different
emotion that I was feeling now that I thought about Matthew avoiding
me. I felt hurt. I know we didn't exactly leave on the best of terms, but
he didn' t have to be mad at me for thinking rationally. Finished with
pacing, I leaned against my closed door, closing my eyes and banging
my head against it. I was fucking missing Matthew.

s ix te en
I was annoyed and pissed off. Matthew had completely blown off the
radio show, and since then, I ' d been fielding calls from other agencies
wanting to book Joey on their shows. Jimmy Fallon wanted him in New
York and Jimmy Kimmel wanted him in L.A. Obviously this was good
for Joey, but I really needed Matthew to step up and make this happen.
If we could get Joey on Kimmel first then Fallon, w e 'd have coverage
on both coasts. It was a win-win, as far I thought.
I ' d ended up back at the office for a few hours, but still no Matthew.
When I finally looked at the wall clock, I noticed that time was getting
away from me, and I needed to get ready for the concert. Fuck
Matthew. If he wanted to play this way, then so be it. He could be the
pouting brat avoiding me like I had cooties. With a shake of my head, I
left the office and headed back to the hotel.
Right now deciding on what I was going to wear was becoming more of
a pain in the ass. I had a few dresses that I brought, but I wasn't sure if I
wanted to go that route. I was thinking of gaucho-type pants with a
glittery halter top. It was warm tonight, and I ' d be outside for most of
the evening. I plucked my silvery-blue halter; with silver palazzo pants.
Adding my blue gladiator sandals was the cream on the top. I wore my
hair in soft waves that hung loose around my shoulders. Make-up was
kept minimal, knowing that I ' d end up sweating it off at some point.
I ' d hired a car to take me to the Hollywood Bowl. I was a nervous
wreck the whole ride to the venue. I still hadn't heard from Matthew,
and Joey had been strangely silent as well since the radio show. I wasn't
sure what the pre-game show was like with these two, but I didn't think
going off the grid was common. When we finally arrived, the driver
brought

me to the back entrance of the location, where I could see tour buses
and cars lined up, letting out VIPs and various big-named stars that
were in for Joey. There was a separate location for the contest winners
that I would head to after I found everyone I needed to. My first plan of
attack was to find Joey and see how he was doing. I ' d seen Joey
perform live at small bars and pubs at home during high school, but
I ' v e never seen anything of this magnitude. So yeah, I was freaking out
just a bit.
It took me a while to get through security. These security guards took
their jobs seriously which made my life a bit easier. Debbi mentioned
groupies doing just about anything to get backstage to see Joey or any
rock star, for that matter. When she told me that I just rolled my eyes
and sighed deeply. I went in search of Joey's dressing room. It was
difficult getting through the throngs of people. Men and women were
yelling into headsets directing people to their proper places. I saw guys
up on the scaffolding, making last minute changes to the lights. Sound
guys were rushing around, making sure that everything was plugged in,
taped down, and working. I saw a brutish guy shouting directions to
musicians who I was assuming were the opening act.
Backstage was a mass of labyrinthine proportions, and I started cursing
myself for not showing up earlier. There was no way I would be able to
find my way around with all this shit happening. A man holding thick
electrical cords came bounding down the hallway, nearly crashing right
into me. I managed to get out of his way at the last moment by pressing
myself into a fake retaining wall that nearly collapsed with the weight
of my body. So trying to steer clear of the workers, I looked around to
see if I could find anyone I knew. Behind the scenes I could see
everyone was moving at a frenzied pace. People in headsets were
yelling into their mouthpieces. Men carrying around ladders and thick
cords of black wire were scurrying to get to their locations. Joey had
even hired FX guys to man the special effects. He was going all out
with this concert, and you could tell that everyone was working
double-time to get things moving.
Because I didn't know my way around, I tried my damndest to stay out
of the way of people working. Not easy when you find yourself going
around in circles. Backstage at the Bowl was definitely a sight to

behold. You'd think because it was an outdoor venue the back part
would be pretty small. Nope. It was huge. There was a long corridor
toward the left of the stage and the "green room", where I would put the
VIPs and the contest winners, had to be down here. Thankfully, it was
well-lit so I wasn't wandering around a dark space. That would just
freak me out. More so than I already was.
I knocked on a few doors with no such luck. But, I did finally find the
room that was being set up for pre-show stuff. I looked around the
room and realized that it was not green, nor even remotely attractive. It
had horrid orange sofas, some folding chairs, and mismatched side
tables. Off to the long wall was a large buffet table set up with veggie
platters, fruit platters, water, beer, and a bowl of skittles. I was tempted
to grab a beer for nerves control.
I plopped down on one of the ugly sofas and opened up the bottle of
water that I ended up grabbing. I knew that if I stayed here maybe I ' d
be found and that way I wouldn't be wandering and getting into
people's way. I looked down at my phone to check the time. I still had a
few hours before the contest winners would arrive. So I made myself at
home and check email and fan sites. The radio show was a huge hit and
the calls that they'd taken after Joey's time brought in more traffic than
they'd had in a while. Especially in the summer. I was pleased that
people were excited for Joey again. It made my work seem like I was
doing something positive.
I was just about to call Stefanie when the door banged open, and a
gorgeous brunette came in ass first, her face stuck to guy that I couldn't
see. She was tall and in her heels, just as tall as the guy she was
currently molesting with her tongue. My mouth dropped open when his
hands slowly caressed her ass, squeezing her cheeks so she squealed
loudly. My eyes became as big as saucers as he continued stroking her
ass, I felt like I was intruding on their private moment. It took all I had
to clear my throat, so they knew they weren't alone. The Amazon
stopped suddenly and whipped her head around.
She looked at me with disdain and a bit of a pout on her lips. I ' d never
seen her before so I wasn't sure who she was here with. Until her
partner slid beside her.

Matthew.
I could feel my brows bunch together and my face heating up. So this
was why he was ignoring me. My heart broke into a million pieces
watching him devour her the way that I wanted him to devour me.
I pushed my hair behind my ears wishing I was anywhere but here.
Matthew looked down at me with such a conflicted look. I wasn't sure
what I was supposed to do, but like a fool I stood up and introduced
myself. Hoping that my palms were dry and not a sticky mess that I
knew they probably were. Staring at her, I knew there was no way I
could compete and it felt horrible.
I held my hand out as I approached Amazonian. "Hi, I' m Charlie
Banks. Joey's publicist."
She gave me her most dazzling smile while looking down on me. She
took my hand limply and gave me a brief handshake. "Eva Carnes. I'm
a friend of Matthew's." I stole a glance at Matthew as his jaw did this
clenching thing I noticed when he was in a mood. I gave her a smile and
just nodded my head.
"Nice to meet you. How do you two know each other?" I asked as
sweetly as possible but really dying inside.
Eva turned back to Matthew and wrapped her arms around his waist. I
raised my eyebrows up a bit as I watched her cuddle him, his arm was
firmly on her pert ass. "Matthew and I go way back," she laughed. "We
get together every time I' m in town and when he told me about the
concert, well I had to be here to support Matthew and Joey."
I bit my lip. "Nice. Matthew and I go way back too. High school."
It was almost as if a light went off in her head. "Oh, you're that
Charlie." I frowned while I stared at her. I must've scowled, because
she amended, "I just meant that you're Joe's ex-girlfriend," she
corrected.
"Yeah, lucky me." I closed my eyes and turned around to toss my water
bottle into the recycle bin. "Do you happen to know where Joey is? I' m
afraid I don' t know my way around here," I asked Matthew, trying to
leave out any timbre of emotion in my voice. I was still looking at Eva'
s arms around his waist. Hating myself for the jealousy that was
prickling up along my spine. As much as I loved Matthew's kisses and
his meaningful, lustful looks, watching him with the beauty queen was

hard. So very hard.
"He's about four doors down." He tilted his head in the direction. Eva
was looking up at him with such devotion that I knew if I stayed in that
room one more minute I was likely to show every emotion that I was
felt for Matthew. Jealousy was a horrible emotion and I didn't want to
be one of those girls, I couldn't be that girl.
"Well you two continue on, and I'll be on my way," I said as brightly as
possible and hightailed it out of there quickly.
Closing the door behind me, I leaned against it and closed my eyes for a
minute. Who was I fooling? I was trying to keep the tears at bay
because there was no way I would cry over that asshole. I had a job to
do, and I needed to find Joey and make sure that we were on the same
page regarding the meet and greet that was happening in a few hours.
Finally finding Joey's door, I stopped in front of it, collected myself,
and knocked. Nothing. I leaned my ear up against the door, but it was
too thick for me to hear anything. I knocked again. Nothing. After a
couple of minutes of standing out in the corridor I turned the knob to
see if it was open. Thankfully, it was.
The front room was empty, but I could see there was an anteroom to
this one. I heard some laughing and shouting coming from that area. So
I opened the door and what I saw was enough to destroy everything.
On the coffee table, was a naked woman whose eyes were closed, and
she was giggling. Joey was sitting on the couch behind the table,
cutting lines of coke, and I'd walked in just as Joey took a few lines of
coke from the woman's stomach. The guy to the right of me was licking
the girl's pussy. For a moment, everything stopped, and I wondered if I
entered through the looking glass. This was not fucking happening.
Slamming the door behind me, Joey looked up at me with that

glazed, high look. "What the fuck, Charlie! Don't you knock?" Both
guys stopped what they were doing, looking up at me.
"Joey, you brought more entertainment?" the pussy sucker asked, as I
threw him a disgusted look. The girl on the table was so wasted she
couldn't even open her eyes.
"I did knock, you prick." He shrugged his shoulder and took another
snort of a line on her stomach. "What the fuck are you doing? Are you
absolutely fucking crazy? You're going on in a few hours, and how the
hell are you supposed to perform if you're high?" I yelled at him.
He looked at the coke on body-shot girl'. "Please, this is nothing." He
bent down and took another line. "Want some?" he laughed at me. Was
he really being serious here? I was at my wits end with the two guys I
had to deal with, and today was not going according to plan. The guy
on the left with the spoon finally filled his syringe and stuck it into his
arm.
"You guys are fucking repulsive. Is this your pre-game ritual, Joey?
Watching some skank get sucked off while you cut lines on her
stomach?"
His eyes were bright red, and he was rubbing his nose. He stood up
unsteadily and walked over toward me. "Yeah, baby. C'mon, let's have
some fun. Me and you, Charlie. You can get naked, and I can suck you
off, too. My technique is better than ever." He was slurring his words
and swaying back and forth. I had to grab hold of him to stop him from
falling down.
"Joey, I wouldn't touch you with a ten-foot pole. You disgust me." I
pushed him away as he stumbled back, but caught himself before
completely wiping out. I knew right then that I was out of my element,
and I didn't know what the fuck to do. Joey wasn't about to stop his
pre-gaming. Matthew was doing whatever the fuck he wanted.
As if Joey read my mind. "Where the hell is Matthew today?"
I counted to ten before I could answer him. "He's having some quality
time with Eva." I snarled.
"Ah, Eva's in town. Matthew's the shit when it comes to her. Jeez, we
won't be seeing them for a while. After she leaves, Matthew is wiped

out for two weeks. She drains him. Like a fucking succubus, but he
says she sucks his dick like a Hoover."
Now I was fucking annoyed. "I don't give a shit what Matthew and Eva
do. What I care about is how I'm going to get you to fucking sober up in
time for your goddamn concert! " Joey stared at me seemingly at a loss
for words. Then he did something I'd never thought he'd do ever. He
laughed.
"Oh, Charlie, c'mon, these are my guys, and my guys keep me happy."
He pointed to his face. "This is me happy."
I narrowed my eyes and pushed my way toward him, poking him in his
chest. "Yeah, well this is me pissed off. I'm about two seconds from
leaving you to deal with all the shit that has to be done. You have
contest winners coming to see you. VIPs are here, wanting some time
with you. The goddamn L.A. Times is here." Joey grabbed my hand and
spun me around so my back was to his chest.
"Shhh...Charlie, it's all under control. Just a few guys having fun. I' ll be
fine by the time I need to put on the game face." I closed my eyes trying
to count to ten until Joey's lips moved so gently against the back of my
neck.
"For Christ's sake, Joey. Get your act together, and we're not done. You
and I are having some words when your boys leave." I gave each of
them a deadly glare.
"Well, babe, there's a bed in the back. I might be able to get it up for
you. It's been a while." I pushed away from Joey and ran out of the
room.
I was disgusted with what I saw in there. Fucking cocaine and heroin. A
woman getting eaten out in front of people. Yeah, maybe I was a
goddamn prude, but I was damn proud of it. This Hollywood life
sucked, and I couldn't wait until I was done with both of these guys. I
was done.
Joey was poisoning himself in one room, and Matthew was getting his
rocks off in another. This day was sucking ass big time. I continued
walking along the corridor just trying to clear my head. I found a quiet
spot, slid down the wall, and brought my knees up. Wrapping my arms
around my knees, I took a deep breath. I lightly banged my head against

the wall trying to figure out how to remain cool, calm, and collected.
I refused to cry. I wouldn't cry for those two assholes. Even if they didn'
t give two shits about this industry, I would make it so that Joey came
across as the same Joey that everyone knew and loved. Matthew, well,
he was on his own. I couldn't give two fucks about him now.
I walked back to the so-called green room, hoping that it was cleared
out and it was. Instead of chugging water like I had planned, I went
right for the beer. It was going to be a fucking long night, and I needed
liquid courage to deal with the shit going down.

s e v e n t e e n
I' d talked to the stage manager, managed to catch the reporter from the
L.A. Times and listened to the opening band's sound check when it was
time for me to head back to the green room where our VIPs and contest
winners would be arriving. We'd arranged for a bus to bring them to the
Bowl from the radio station so I didn't have anyone trying to sneak their
way past security. Other than Stefanie and Ben, things for the most part
on my end were going smoothly.
Since earlier this afternoon, I hadn't seen Matthew and Eva nor had I
bumped into Joey. When he was called for sound check, I hid. There
wasn't much singing just a lot of him repeating "check 1-2-3," into the
mic. The guitarist would hit a few chords, adjust the amp, and then
repeat. For forty-five minutes it was the same over and over.
I was really impressed with the set-up of the green room. The radio
station had hired a caterer and made sure their banner was prominently
hanging on the back wall where Joey would sign autographs of CDs,
T-shirts, and whatever else these people brought.
"Charlie?" Mary Harlow—the liaison from the radio station—called
out to me. She'd arrived on the bus, as well. Well, it was show time.
"Hi." I walked over to her and shook her hand. She was a pretty
brunette, but she looked like this wasn't her first rodeo and rolled her
eyes.
"We have a lively bunch tonight. A few of them," she just shook her
head. "Well, you'll see for yourself." She looked around the room. "It
looks great in here."
"It does. I made sure no one touched anything, especially the food.
Everyone who walked by couldn't wait to dive right in!" I laughed. The

door opened and a flood of people started entering the room. There
were a few kids with parents, but for the most part it was teenagers or
girls in their early twenties who were looking to hook a rock star. Now
I understood what Mary meant. A few of the girls were dressed—or
should I say underdressed—wearing something that I don't think Lady
Gaga would be seen in. And that's saying something.
I walked over to the table with the microphone and turned it on.
"Hi everyone!" I waved and gave them all big smiles. "I'm Charlie
Banks, Joey Carino's publicist." Once I mentioned his name the
screams started, and I could see the parents of the kids start shaking
their heads. Wonder if they screamed for The Beatles, once upon a
time. "I know that Joey is really excited to have you all here, and he
congratulates you on winning the contest. We'll have some swag bags
to hand out before you go to your seats. Joey will be here in about thirty
minutes, so please, just mix and mingle, have some food that our
partners from the station have provided. You'll notice a bartender in the
corner. There's a two drink maximum." There were a few 'awwws', but
I knew it was a good idea. "IDs will be checked, as well."
"What happens when Joey gets here?" a young blonde in the front
asked.
"Hi, and you are?" I asked politely. "Amber."
"Well, Amber, once Joey gets here, he'll sit down at this table, and he'll
sign autographs. Unfortunately, there's not much time to mingle, but
he'll make sure that you get photos taken and all that." I looked
pointedly at her. "Does that answer your question?"
She nodded her head and headed over to the table with the food. For the
most part everyone was really nice. I talked to a few parents who told
me that this was their child's first concert. I was excited that they could
see this, but a part of me was cursing Joey for his earlier act. This is
why he should perform. Not for the fame, the drugs or the money.
Because people enjoyed listening to him.
Goddamn him.
After walking through the room, I noticed Stefanie and who I supposed
was her fiancé.

I walked over to her with a big smile on my face. If anything, she was a
sight for sore eyes. I hugged her tightly. "I am so glad you're here."
"Me too, Charlie. Let me introduce you to Ben. Ben this is Charlie.
Publicist extraordinaire."
I took his outstretched hand, but wouldn't have any of that and pulled
him to me for a hug. "Congratulations! "
"Thanks, Charlie. We really appreciate your giving us these tickets.
Stef keeps talking about going to school with Joey, but I would tease
her that she was lying." I looked slyly toward Stef who just rolled her
eyes and looked affronted. An act by any measure.
"So how have things been today?" Stef asked as we walked over to the
bar, I ordered a vodka cranberry while Ben and Stef stuck with beer.
"I'm drinking vodka, Stef. I never drink vodka." I laughed.
"That good, eh?"
I shook my head. "No, it's that bad." The door to the green room opened
again and in walked Amazonian Eva and Matthew. I nodded toward
him. "He's reason number one." Stef looked around Ben and saw
Matthew. His lips quirked up when he recognized her. Grabbing onto
Eva' s hand, he started heading our way.
"Well this is my cue to leave you two. I'll catch up with you at the after
party?"
Stefanie took my hand and squeezed tightly. "Of course. We're looking
forward to it."
"Ben it was great meeting you. I'll see you after."
Just as Matthew and Eva got to Stef and Ben, I bailed. I walked around
the room making sure everyone was doing okay. I could tell that nerves
were getting frayed as the thought of their idol would be there soon. My
only fear was that I had to leave the room to get him, and I wasn't sure
what condition I'd find him in. Plus, I knew that I'd have to talk to
Matthew about this, too. Watching him talk to Stef and get introduced
to Ben, I felt something that I wanted to push to the further recess of my
mind, heart, or wherever I could shove it. When Matthew hugged Stef,
his hand let go of Eva's, and I watched as she tried to get it back. He
was using his hands to talk to them, and Eva's went behind her

back. I smirked a bit, but knew that staring wasn't getting me anywhere.
I snuck out of the room after finishing my drink and started walking
down the hallway. A security guard was posted outside Joey's room
once people started showing up. With my press pass in hand, I walked
back to the room where I'd seen everything that I hoped to never see. I
knocked a few times, but was let in by someone I didn't know.
He looked down at my lanyard which was perched right at my
cleavage. "My eyes are up here, asshole."
"Hey, Charlie! " Joey was wearing a towel around his lean hips.
Another towel in his hand as he dried off his hair. A smattering of chest
hair covered his upper half. He looked more toned and cut since the last
time I'd seen him in this degree of undress. I moved closer to him and
looked directly into his eyes. They looked clear enough that I wouldn't
have an issue with him meeting his fans.
"I came to bring you to the green room. Have you eaten?" I asked trying
to keep my voice light and professional.
"Nah can't eat before a show," he winked at me.
I groaned. "Just get ready so we can get this done. There are a couple of
young kids there, so please, watch the language and innuendos. I don't
think the parents will appreciate that."
"Aye, aye, Captain. Anything else?" My gaze dipped to his torso and
below to where the towel was falling off.
"Just put your fucking clothes on." I huffed and waited outside his
dressing room.
Joey met me outside his room five minutes later. He was wearing what
I suspected would be his outfit for the show. A strategically ripped
black t-shirt with leather pants and combat boots that looked like they'd
been to hell and back. My eyebrows hit my hairline when I saw him. He

looked really good, and you wouldn't have known that he spent the
afternoon coking it up. Something that pissed me off to no end. If he
could be this way, how many times had he completely deceived me? I
stayed behind him as he walked down toward the green room. Another
security guard had been placed at the door. Joey nodded to him and did
some fist bump thing before he opened the door.
"Well here it goes, Charlie. Are you ready?" he asked with his hand on
the doorknob.
"I've been here all day, I'm more than ready."
"Well, baby," he drawled. "It's time to rock and roll!" he said just as he
opened the door. It took a beat before the screams started. Girls started
crying. Women started mobbing him, and I stood there frozen as I
watched.
"Aren't you going to save him?" a voice to my left asked. I looked over
and saw Matthew staring at me as I continued to look dumbfounded at
the mob.
"I think he deserves this for minute. I'll save him soon."
Matthew leaned down. "I think he'd prefer if you didn't save him,
sweetheart. He lives for this."
I turned to Matthew and gave him the coldest look I could muster with
all the heat he was giving off. I didn't need him toying with me while
his plaything was across the room. "I thought it was the coke and heroin
he was doing in his room a few hours ago."
Matthew stood stock still and ramrod straight. I started to walk away,
but he grabbed my arm before I could make a clean getaway.
"What the fuck did you say?"
"Your best friend was sugaring it up in his dressing room while a nubile
young thing was enjoying getting eaten out. It was a very enlightening
moment in my dreary life, honestly," I spat back. I looked down at
Matthew' s hand as he continued holding on to me. But now he was
backing me into the furthest private corner.
"You're telling me that Joey was using today?"
"I'm telling you that Joey is flying high on coke right now."
"Goddammit! Charlie," he leaned down to me face-to-face. "You
should've come to me immediately."

I looked over to where Eva was standing watching the two of us.
"Yeah, well you were a bit busy, if I remember correctly."
"I'll deal with him, but I'll deal with you too, Charlie. Later." I was
shaking with anger, and a strange bout of desire, as he stalked off, and I
went to save the rock star.

e i g h t e e n
"All right, Joey. I think the girls have had enough," I said as I tried to
break up the mob. Although with the quirk of the eyebrow from Joey, it
seemed like he was enjoying this a bit too much. I grabbed on to his
upper arm and dragged him to the table that was set up for him.
Thankfully, Mary started rounding up the girls to get into some sort of
line to meet up with Joey, again.
I made sure there were a few bottles of water on hand for Joey and there
were plenty of silver sharpies to write on stock photos.
"You cannot show any favoritism toward any of these girls, Joey. I' m
serious. I will shut this down faster than you can blink," I whispered to
him as he was getting himself situated. He looked up to me and gave
me a bright, toothy smile. I leaned over the table, my face inches from
his. "This shit is getting old today. You're already on my dick list. Keep
it up and see where else you end up."
"On top of you?" he joked, and I groaned, backing away from him.
"Just keep it clean and quick." I turned around to watch some girls
fighting for the top spot, but I wasn't about to get involved in that. I
looked over to the corner where Stefanie was standing with Ben. She
gave me a sympathetic grin and a shrug. I just shrugged back. Matthew
was back beside Eva, and although she was talking to him, he was
looking, or more like glaring, at Joey. I backed to the opposite corner
and waited until the girls settled down.
"Hey, everyone! " Joey said into the mic. that was in front of him. Even
though the room wasn't big, it was loud and no one would hear him
over the din. "I said, HI EVERYONE!" He shouted. I could've sworn
the range of decibels broken would've given Guinness a world record.
My ears would never be the same.

"That's more like it. So how is everyone tonight?" More screaming,
with a few awesomes' thrown in for good measure. "Excellent, just
what I like to hear. So what do you think of this amazing set-up. How
was the food?" More screams. More crying. "What do you think of my
girl, Charlie? Pretty hot, eh?" I turned to look at Joey who just smiled as
the girls continued with their screams. They probably didn' t even hear
what he was saying. "I see my manager over there, Matthew, say hello
to the ladies." Matthew never removed his gaze from Joey, but
managed to wave. "We're gonna have a kickass show tonight, and you'
re gonna make it happen, right?" The sound became unbearable, and all
I wanted to do was hightail it out of the room.
"So I guess you're all my winners from the contest at the radio station.
It's really awesome to see you here. I hope you had a great time, will
have a great time, and make sure that you enjoy yourself. Now I
understand that you're here to come up and meet moi. So if you form a
line for Mary and Charlie, we can get this show to rock and roll."
My cue to walk to the front of the line. I would've preferred to put the
youngest ones up front, but they somehow were edged out by the eager
beavers, and I didn't mean that as a compliment.
"Just because he thinks you're hot, doesn't mean you'll score with him,"
one of the girls said to me as she waited in line. I just looked at her with
disgust and continued on. If they only knew. The first girl made her
way up to the table and promptly started screaming after Joey kissed
her cheek. I looked up to the ceiling and felt like in that moment, I
really wanted to dismember my dad. Once all the formalities were
done. Pictures taken, questions answered, the line started moving.
When it was time for the one who insulted me to meet Joey, I just shook
my head and rolled my eyes. I could tell that she would be aggressive
with him, and I was looking forward to seeing him put her in her place.
"So Joey..." she drawled, and then leaned over to whisper something in
his ear. All we could see from our vantage point was a big smile on
Joey's face and minute blush on the whore's. Joey turned to one of his
security, who wrote something down, while nodding his head. As the
bimbo was leaving, she gave me a satisfied grin. I might have

mentioned something about 'sloppy seconds', but I would've denied it
left and right if anyone asked. Once everything was said and done. The
room was empty of fans and left just me, Matthew, Joey, the security
guards, and Eva.
Joey had just stood up from his seat when Matthew knocked him back
down.
"What the fuck, dude. coke?" Matthew shouted, loudly. Joey shot a
look to me. But I didn't care; I was wiping my hands free and clear of
this shit.
"Hey," Joey retorted. "Not like you haven't been there before, man. We
pre-gamed a bit. It's fine. I'm fine." He held his hands up in mock
surrender.
Matthew' s jaw started clenching, and his hands were balling up into
fists. "I haven't touched that shit in years, and you know it, asshole."
His voice was measured, but I could tell by the pulsing vein in his
forehead that he was about to blow a gasket. "And she walks in on you
while you have a fucking girl in there?" Matthew's head flung in my
direction, spittle flying by me. He looked particularly rabid right now.
"I have never been more disgusted to know you than I am right now."
Joey blanched at that. "Fuck you, Matt. Where were you today?" his
gaze slid over to Eva. "Fucking your girlfriend up against the wall?
Huh?" I watched them like a tennis match.
Until I'd finally had enough. "Stop!"
Three sets of eyes focused on me. "This is getting us nowhere, and Joey
needs to get ready. We'll discuss this later and not tonight either." I
focused on Matthew when I said that. "When everyone has their shit
together." I said over my shoulder as I walked toward the door. Right
now I needed to be away from both of them. I'd watch the show from
the sidelines, avoid them for the evening and hope that everything went
smoothly from this point on.

From the minute the house lights went down and the crowd went crazy,
Joey's show was a masterpiece. Everyone was in tune, Joey was on
point, and he was engaging. He'd given a shout-out to the contest
winners. Thanked everyone for coming. Jammed like his life depended
on it. Watching him was amazing. I'd seen him perform years ago, but
nothing to this extent. I found myself transported during his show. The
special effects really added to the show and didn't make it seem
overdone like it could have. I wasn't sure if Joey was still under the
influence or he'd given himself a pep up before he went on stage. I
really had nothing truly bad to say about it.
Oh, I was still pissed about the drugs and the lack of emotion he'd
shown while watching a young girl whore herself out. Thankfully, the
guys who were in the room with Joey were nowhere to be seen since.
My only problem now was Matthew. He stood in the opposite wing,
barely watching Joey, but glaring at me like I'd pissed him off. Eva was
still hanging off his arm, and I really didn't care if he was ticked at me
or not. He'd been playing me hot and cold, and I was done with it. Let
him take Eva and fuck her up against a wall. There was no way I would
be the jealous one. What we'd had a few nights ago was a one-off, and
thank goodness it never progressed any farther.
With my attention back to Joey, I watched as he switched to a
plugged-in acoustic guitar.
"This song, without a doubt, was my biggest hit when I first hit the
airwaves. But what no one knows is that I wrote it for my high school
girlfriend." I twitched my lips as Joey quickly glanced toward me. "I
loved her. Unfortunately, life gets in the way and things happen for a
reason. So, what I want to say to her right now if she's listening:
"Charlie, I adore you." The shock on my face was palpable. With a nod
to his drummer, Joey launched into 'Adore.'
I didn't want to cry, but the tears started falling as he sang the song in a
clear, beautiful voice. I could tell that people were looking at me funny
as the song continued, but I wouldn't allow him to get to me after

all these years. If he'd adored me as much as he said, why'd he cheat?
Why' d he go down that path that so many rock stars headed? I
surreptitiously tried to wipe the tears, but they were coming too fast and
furious.
I'd looked up over to the other wing to make sure Matthew wasn't
enjoying my sad display, but oddly enough, he wasn't even there. Eva
was gone, too, so I could only imagine what those two were up to.
When the song ended I felt completely spent. It was a beautiful song,
and he did it such justice, but right now my emotions were on high
alert, and I wasn't about to let Joey know how much the song affected
me. I turned around to head back to the green room where I'd wait for
show to finish. I could watch it on the CCTV that was connected. The
place was wired so you could hear the show no matter where you were
in the building.
Unfortunately, my solitude wasn't to last. Ten minutes after I arrived,
Matthew came bounding in looking flustered and red-faced. I'd sat
down on the couch.
I took a deep breath, leaned my elbows on my knees and asked, "What's
up with you?"
He shot me a pointed look. "Why are you here?"
Okay, not what I was expecting. "Well originally, I wanted to be
alone," I said sharply. Matthew stalked over to me; he pulled a chair
close to me so our knees were barely touching.
"Did it bother you he dedicated that song to you?" he asked, not
looking at me.
I shrugged my shoulders. "Not really," I lied. "Why are you here?"
Matthew sat back and ran his hand through his hair mussing it up so it
looked more like sex head. I hated that he could do that and look sexy
without looking messy. Me? My hair would look like a rat's nest.
"Are you looking forward to the after party?" he asked suddenly.
I opened my mouth to say something but thought better of it. I needed
to answer this question carefully because no, I wasn't looking forward
to it. I could imagine all the women that would be all over Joey and the
one that would be all over Matthew.
"I guess. Hadn't really given it much thought." What I wanted to

say was I was looking forward to this night being over. Getting away
from Joey and Matthew would do a world of good for my health and
psyche.
"It was good to see Stefanie. Long time..." he trailed off. I raised my
eyebrows in question.
"It was. Haven't seen her since graduation. She's getting married."
Matthew nodded his head. "And you, have you thought of marriage
before?"
"Wait, what?" Okay, we'd definitely hit the Twilight Zone. "What
makes you think I'd even think of something like that? I'd need a
boyfriend first and well; I don't see one in my future right now. Work is
taking up all of time right now to get involved with anyone, plus, if I
did have a boyfriend, he'd be back in Phoenix and I'm in LA. So,
yeah..." This time I trailed off. What a weird question and I all managed
to do was ramble. "What about you and Eva? You two seem cozy."
Matthew rubbed a hand across his face, bouncing his leg nervously. He
took a deep breath. "Eva and I have a. an arrangement of sorts."
I wasn't sure what look was on my face, but the look on Matthew's face
must've reflected mine. "So she comes into town once in a while, you
two bang, and then she moves on." I sat back and folded my arms
against my chest. Somehow knowing about Matthew's sex life wasn't
on my priority list.
"Something like that," he mumbled.
"Well you two have fun tonight," I said, dismissing him. "I'd really like
to be alone right now." I tried my damnedest not to sound hurt or even
jealous, but I'm sure Matthew caught the slight in my voice.
He stood up suddenly, looking around the room, probably to avoid
looking directly at me. "I'll see you at the after party, I, ah, should get
back to Eva," he turned around, and I watched as his broad shoulders
carried him to the door. His tight ass looked quite nice in the jeans he
wore. Before opening the door, he turned around to me. "You do look
beautiful tonight, Charlie."
Before I could respond, he walked out, causing me to seriously wonder
what the hell kind of conversation did we just have?

n i n e t e e n
The nightclub hosting the after party was filled to capacity with A-list
celebrities, politicians, journalists, and a few supermodels. To say that I
felt completely out of my element was stretching it. I was totally out of
my element. Thankfully, Stefanie and Ben were around so I'd at least
have someone to talk to. As much as everyone kind of knew each other,
you could tell the cliques that formed immediately. A-listers didn't
associate with the B-listers, and everyone wanted to talk to the
supermodels. I thought Eva was tall, but some of these women made
her seem like a shrimp.
Music was thumping, the alcohol was flowing, and everyone was
having a great time. Joey hadn't arrived yet. I knew he'd want to shower
and clean up with dry clothes before he headed over. Everyone was
buzzing about the show, and so far, it was getting good reviews from
the revelers. Because the nightclub was closed to the public, a lot of
people had come around to stand outside and get autographs of their
favorite stars. Walking the red carpet alone was a bizarre experience.
Everyone was screaming and yelling for Joey, but when it was
someone else, a huge awww' was expelled from the crowd. It was quite
funny and caused me to giggle along the way. Yep, I was officially a no
one, and I think I liked it that way.
I made my way over to the bar and stuck with what I'd had earlier -
vodka cranberry - I was limiting my intake of alcohol tonight and
wanted to make sure others were taken care of before my needs.
Because honestly, I would've drowned my feelings in something
stronger, but this would have to do. Taking a sip, I enjoyed the tangy
tartness of the cranberry and the smooth burn of the vodka. It was doing
a bang-up job of clearing my head.

More stars were arriving, and the place was even crazier than it was a
half hour earlier. I looked around for Ben and Stef and finally found
them in a corner at a high-top table.
"Thank goodness I found you! " I said excitedly to Stefanie, giving her
shoulder a squeeze. "There's so much fakery going on here, I could
smell the bullshit from everywhere! " I joked.
"Oh, Charlie, that's terrible. But, yeah, this party is a bit extreme."
I laughed and shrugged my shoulders. "Who knows? I've seen more
famous people tonight than I'll ever see in my lifetime. But enough
about them! What did you think of the show?"
Stefanie took a sip of her beer before speaking. "It was good. He was
engaging and funny. He sounds amazing. He looked fabulous out
there." Ben fake coughed into his drink. "Oh, Ben you have nothing to
worry about. It was always Joey and Charlie."
"Yeah, that was a long time ago now. There is no us anymore. I'm
flying solo." Just as I said that, the doors opened, and a few wolf
whistles and catcalls announced that the star of the evening had arrived.
I noticed flanked on his left was Matthew who surprisingly was not
glued to Eva. Although, I noticed the girl from the green room earlier
was tucked neatly into Joey's right side. A quick glance at Matthew let
me know that he wasn't particularly happy about something, but I was
going to let it go. It wasn't my problem to get involved with, and I was
going to enjoy my evening drama free.
"Joey seems to like the attention he gets," Ben said, pointing his beer in
Joey's direction. I watched as various people came up to him and either
hugged, kissed, or fist bumped him. He was definitely in his element. It
made me realize how very lucky I was that I managed to miss this part
of his life while I was at school. As much as I loved Joey, I don' t think
I could handle all the noise that followed him around. I liked the quiet
life. Hollywood was definitely not for me. Boston and Phoenix were
about as hoity-toity as I got.
"I see that look on your face, Charlie," Stef remarked. "It's a cross
between annoyed and thankful."
"Perceptive. Was just thinking this lifestyle is definitely not for me. I
mean it's fun and all, but I don't think I could deal with this on a daily

basis. I'd go crazy."
Once Joey was settled, the music changed to something a bit darker,
more hip-hop meets electronica. The thumping of the bass caused our
drinks to rattle on the table. Stefanie and I laughing at the noise.
I noticed a few of the band members heading toward our table. I
couldn't remember their names, unfortunately, so I was flying blind.
Luckily, it wasn't to last long, because Joey was right behind carrying a
tray of shots.
"Charlie! " He put the tray down and tipped me backwards, planting a
wet, closed-mouth kiss on me.
"Gross," I said, wiping his kiss off. "Shots for everyone for an
amazingly kick ass show! " I took one tentatively and sniffed it. Joey
laughed as he watched me. "Tequila, baby."
I twisted my lips, looked around the table, and waited until everyone
had their glass against their lips. "On the count of three." and then we
slammed them down. I think Joey was amused with watching me
because the face I made caused him to go into hysterics.
"Asshole," I muttered. Joey stayed for a few minutes, making small talk
with Ben and Stef then made his rounds with his ever-present
entourage of stunning young women and men who were all partaking
of his extravagance. Shots were going around like crazy, and people
were getting silly and sloppy.
Stef got up from her seat and pulled me with her. "Let's dance!" she
shouted over the din. I watched her as she blew air kisses to Ben,
shoving me toward the dance floor. It'd been while since I just let loose,
and with the alcohol coursing through my blood, I was feeling quite
uninhibited. The dance floor was crowded, but it was good because
everyone was laughing and dancing. It was a free for all, and I loved it.
This is what made the job worth it. To be able to forget about issues and
problems and just let loose. The music controlled my body, and it
moved in rhythm to the thumping bass. Stef was laughing as she
watched me. Everyone on the dance floor pulsed with want and need.
Two guys I'd never seen before came up to the both of us and started
dancing with us. We just moved in time with the music, I turned around
so his arms

wrapped around my hips as they swayed back and forth hypnotically.
He was tall, so my ass nestled into his groin. His arms slowly caressed
my hips and up to arms where they landed on my shoulders. Spinning
me around, he wrapped one arm around my waist and swung me back
and forth, his leg between my thighs. He could dance, I'd give him that,
but it was the hungry, sex-filled look that made me pause and try to pull
away. He wasn't letting me go. Just as I started to walk off the dance
floor, he grabbed my hand, pulling me tightly against his chest. Hands
and lips were all over me. I tried to place my hands on his chest, but I
was held too tightly by his arms.
With his hands going down to my ass, I closed my eyes and hoped that
Stef would see what was going on. I really wanted to get away from
this asshole before he thought I'd willingly go with him. With another
sharp pull back, I bumped into a strong chest behind me who caught me
before I made an ungainly fall to the crowded floor. Not wanting to feel
like a ping-pong ball, I started to walk away, but was spun around and
the momentum caused me to crash again into the sturdy chest.
I exhaled as all the breath came rushing from me. I looked up to see
Matthew glaring at the guy I'd been dancing with.
"You okay?" he asked softly as he rocked me back and forth. I nodded
as his hands roamed behind my head, to my neck, causing me to shiver
with the light touch. Hands kept working down my shoulders, arms,
and finally resting on my hips as he pulled me extremely close to him.
Because of my height, I came up to his chin, and he was able to place it
on top of my head quite easily. We moved together like that for a while,
not saying a word. I was glad that he saved me from the asshole, and I
felt safe being in his arms.
We weren' t exactly dancing to the music as dancing to whatever music
was in our hearts and heads, but I was comfortable like this. I tucked
my head against his chest as he held on to me. As soon as I gave any
thought to Eva, I quickly told myself to forget her and enjoy the hold
Matthew had on me now. I could easily forget the world around me and
live happily in these arms. Unfortunately, that nagging angel on my
shoulder always let me know that Joey was around and my attraction to
his best friend wasn't the best thing for us. But right now, I didn't care.

Here I was, here he was, and as I slowly pulled my head up to look at
Matthew I had the ungodly urge to kiss him.
Licking my lips, I opened them to say something, but thought better of
it. Moving my hands to the back of his neck, I pulled his lips down to
me. Doing something that was entirely out of the realm of decorum, I
slowly traced my tongue along his bottom lip, causing a moan to hiss
from his lips. Up on my tippy toes, I dove in and took what I wanted.
Our mouths crashed together in erotic heat. My hands on his neck
pushed him further into me as his hands roamed the entirety of my
body. I could feel us moving away from the dance floor, but our lips
were glued to each other as we both took and took and didn't want to
stop. If I wasn't here in a night club, I'd be pulling off our clothes. I
could feel every inch of my skin tingling with his touch, and his kisses
were deeper and more meaningful.
I was ruffling up his hair, but I didn't care. I wanted to crawl inside of
him right there. I was feeling everything from the top of my head to the
bottom of my toes. My sex was aching for him to touch and kiss and
play. I could feel his want for me growing with each growl he made. I
wanted to so badly jump up and claim him finally as mine. Even if he
was an ass earlier. I couldn't deny that I wanted sex, and I wanted it
now.
"Fuck, Charlie," he said over and over. I moved my right hand down to
brush against his erection. "Do you know how badly I want you right
now?"
I looked up at him with raised eyebrows. "I can feel it," I said,
squeezing his cock. His lips pounced on my neck, giving little nips and
licks so I was lit up like a fucking firecracker.
Matthew looked at me with a mixture of awe and surprise. "Do you...
do you," I didn't let him finish the words as my mouth covered his. Of
course I wanted to. I wanted to fuck, make love, have sex with him
right there on the damn dance floor. But what I wanted more than
anything was to keep feeling Matthew's arms around me. Feeling safe
and wanted.
"Christ, Charlie, what you do to me." I smiled, thinking the same
thing.
"You do the same to me," I said looking directly into his eyes

wanting him to know that I was ready to take that leap that I was so
afraid of. I didn' t care about Eva or Joey right now. It was my carnal
wants that I cared about. It was that I was falling in love with the man in
front of me, and I wanted to make him absolutely mine. He kissed me
again, his hands clearly on my ass squeezing and rubbing as I tried to
release the pent-up frustration of my sexually aroused clit.
I was about to suggest leaving when out of the corner of my eye Joey
and Eva were walking toward us.
"What the fuck is going on here, Matt?" Joey asked, taking in the two
of us wrapped around each other. Eva just held a steely gaze at me and
refused to even look at Matthew. Matthew opened his mouth and shut it
again. I held tightly onto Matthew's hand, squeezing it lightly.
"I asked you, asshole, what the fuck. Is. Going. On. Here." Joey was
seething. "You got your tongue down my girl's throat and your hands
on her ass?" Joey stepped up so that he was right in Matthew's face.
"Stop it, Joey. I'm not your girl!" I yelled over the din of the club. "I
haven't been your girl for a long time now, and you have no hold over
me. This is my job! "
Joey leaned back on his heels. "So hooking up with my manager and
best friend, who if I recall correctly, you fucking hate, is now your
job?" he yelled, spittle flying out of his mouth. I could tell by the way
he was swaying that he was drunk.
I let go of Matthew's hand and stood directly in front of Joey. "You
have no say in who I hook up with, Joey. You lost that right when you
cheated on me with all those goddamn bitches you were photographed
with."
Joey's eyes flashed with anger. "Well then I guess you're no better than
me, because Eva here is Matthew's girlfriend, and you guys were
practically fucking each other on the goddamn dance floor! What do
you
say to that?"
I looked over to Matthew who eyes were steely slits and his jaw was
rumbling.
"Eva is not my girlfriend, Joey," Matthew said icily.
"Okay, your fuck-buddy. Is that how you treat Charlie? Is she just

another notch for you?" Joey was baiting Matthew and before I knew it,
Matthew threw a punch that knocked Joey down on the floor. I stood
there staring at the both of them in shock.
Mayhem started as the punches flew. I could see band members
coming to break it up, but by then the damage was done. Finally, the
drummer, I think, pulled Joey back and Ben had come to grab Matthew.
Joey's eye was bruising shut, and Matthew was wiping the trickling
blood from his mouth. I just stood there while the two huffed and
puffed.
"Charlie." Joey called as I turned to help Matthew.
Grabbing a napkin from a nearby table, I used it to stem the dripping
blood on the corner of his mouth. Matthew grabbed hold of my hand
keeping it close to his lips. I knew what I had to do to finally break free
from Joey.
Taking a deep breath, I spoke: "I' m not your girl, Joey. I' m not
anything other than an employee trying to get you back on track. What
goes on in my personal life is of no concern to you. You do not get a say
in my life anymore." Pulling back from Matthew, I gave him a sad
smile and walked back to the table where Stefanie was waiting. Ben
had already gone back after seeing that no more fists would be thrown.
"Are you okay?" Stefanie asked.
"Yeah, peachy." She raised her eyebrow at me, sensing the sarcastic
tone. "This never should have happened," I said, shaking my head.
Eva sidled up to me. "I don't see what the big deal is about you, but
when it comes to Matthew, he'll always come crawling back. We just
work." I just looked at her with mouth opened. Shaking my head, I
walked away and tried to get the two boys to break it up.
For me this night was officially over

t w e n t y
I' d been staring at my computer for nearly an hour and getting
absolutely nothing done. Hiding out in a hotel room and not dealing
with the issues was pretty childish. After what had gone on at the Bowl,
I really needed to stay away from Matthew and Joey.
I' d received an email from Matthew, firming up our meeting with
NuHitz Records. Joey must've been laying low because I hadn't heard
from him since the after party. Really the only person I was technically
avoiding was Matthew. His email was professional, nothing indicating
anything happened between us over the last week.
Even with its professional tone, I was becoming stir crazy, trying to
decipher if he meant anything beyond his words. I couldn't stay in my
hotel room any longer, so I put on some shorts, a tank top, and sandals.
A walk was exactly what I needed to clear my head. I could've called
Stefanie and scheduled lunch, or even dinner with her and Ben, but I
wasn't quite sure I'd be the best company right now.
Throwing my hair up in a ponytail, I glanced over my room. My
computer was on the bed, papers strewn across the rumpled sheets and
the desk, dirty water glasses sat on the nightstand, along with an empty
wine bottle. Maid service was going to have my head today. Ah well.
That's what happens when you realize you've started having feelings
for your ex-boyfriend' s best friend. Not a very good place to be in,
honestly. I shrugged and walked out the door.
Outside, the sweltering L.A. heat greeted me. Maybe a walk was a
mistake. But I was already sweating and walking, so I continued on.
Clearing my head was the end goal of this escapade, and I wanted it
completely empty by the time I got back to the hotel. As I walked
around downtown L.A., I found myself watching the various people
rushing

around, eating lunch at eateries with outside seating. Cars zoomed
down the road, creating an effect of melting tar in their wake. After I'd
been walking for a while, I decided to stop somewhere for water. I was
getting a bit parched. I wasn't really sure where my feet would take me,
but once I realized that I was outside of the bar that Joey brought me to
last week, I figured I would duck in.
The place was fairly quiet with locals sitting around the bar, shooting
the shit with the bartender. The place was so dark that when the front
door opened, it flooded with light, and people shouted to shut the door.
I probably should've just gone to a café, but I'd liked the vibe I got in
here. I took a seat away from the door, but not too far away from the
other patrons.
A waitress came up to me and placed a menu down. "Did you want a
drink?" She pulled out a pad of paper to take my order.
"Sure." I glanced down at the menu, but said, "I'll start with an ice
water."
She stuck the pen in her hair and walked over to the bar, presumably to
get my drink. I perused the menu and decided on a cheeseburger. The
grease and melted cheese sounded comforting. It was that kind of day.
Once I placed my order, I glanced around the place, taking in the
interesting space. It was sadly styled. Just tables, a long bar to the left
of the front door, and a stage that looked to be about twenty by twenty.
Smaller than what I'd seen most L.A venues in the area.
The door opened, and I suddenly understood why everyone was yelling
at me when I came in. I was temporarily blinded by the sun that poured
in, which made me think of the place as a vampire lair. I shook my
head, wondering if any hunky, sparkly vampires would invade L.A.
Then I giggled at my own stupidity. Vampires in L.A... ha!
"What are you doing here?" a tense voice asked as I played with the
silverware.
I looked up into bright green eyes and spluttered, "Joey!" Blinking in
surprise, I offered him the seat across from me, and he took it.
"So what are you doing here?" he asked again.
I frowned at his tone. "Having lunch," I threw back at him. "What are
you doing here?" I was here first, after all. Who the hell did he think

he was?
"I'm meeting with some people from a band I'm interested in. Wanted
to feel them out."
I nodded. The waitress came back over with my food and a bottle of
ketchup.
"Did you want something?" I asked him.
The waitress looked at him, awaiting his answer.
He pursed his lips. "I'll have the same thing she's having, but I'll take a
beer." He smiled at her.
I glanced longingly at my food, wondering if I should wait. Do the
polite thing.
"Eat," he ordered. Somehow reading my mind.
I didn't need to be told twice.
We chitchatted for a while. I didn't want to bring up what I saw Friday
night, and I was certain he didn't want to remember what I saw. I was
surprised actually. Today he looked well-rested and bright-eyed. Still, I
wondered if he used before coming here. I guess I'd always wonder that
now, if he was sticking something up his nose or smoking it. I grimaced
at the thought and tried to turn them around to something more
pleasant.
"That brain of yours looks like it's working overtime right now. What' s
going on?"
I wiped my mouth with the paper napkin and tucked it under my plate.
"I'm worried about you, Joey." I sat back in my chair, crossing my arms
over my chest. He opened his mouth to say something, but I held up my
hand. "You've changed, and sometimes I don't think I know the person
sitting across from me."
"I' m still the same Joey, Charlie. Just richer than the last time you saw
me."
I shook my head, feeling sad and pissed off. He was throwing his life
away. I'd known Joey for so many years that he couldn't even see it
himself. He was delusional.
"No, Joey, you're not. The guy I knew was contemplative and
reflective. He worshipped his body and would never put anything in it
that wasn't legal. I saw you with those girls the other night. That's not

you."
He looked away from me, muttering something I couldn't hear.
"There's this certain aspect to the life I lead, and at times it gets the best
of me." He returned his hard gaze to me. "I tried, Charlie. Goddamn, I
tried. You have no clue what it's like to be on the road. It's lonely and
boring. Sharing a bus with the other guys isn't easy. So you have to
create your own fun. But then you start and you can't stop because
you're on top of the fuckin' world. It was never supposed to be like this.
You, Charlie. You always meant something to me."
He cupped his other hand against my cheek. I could feel the tears
welling, one managing to escape. He brushed it off with his thumb.
"Don't cry, Charlie. It's not all bad."
"I' m afraid for you, Joey. You seem to be on this self-destructive path,
and you don' t want to get off."
The door opened, and we both brought our arms up to shield our eyes. I
thought it was the band he was meeting. As soon as his hand left my
cheek, I felt the separation greatly.
He stood up to acknowledge them, gesturing what table they should sit
at. It was the one closest to the stage and away from everyone else so
they could talk in peace.
He stood up, shooting me a look. "This shouldn't take long. Stick
around and we'll get a drink? My treat?" There was hope in his look
that I' d say yes.
I didn't have anything else to do, so I agreed.
Joey sent over a shot of tequila for me to do before we got together
again. I slammed the shooter down, thankful for the food in my belly. I
kept looking over to where Joey was meeting and watching how
animated he was brought a smile to my lips. His hands were going a
mile minute; the band members were shaking their heads excitedly.
It struck me funny that in all of L.A., he could come here and be
himself. This dive bar where nobody batted an eyelash at him. The
waitress kept the water coming, and I was thankful for that. I knew the
new endeavor that Matthew and Joey wanted to start would be
extremely successful, and I found myself getting excited for him. Just
watching him with the guys gave me this moment of clarity that this
had been his real

calling. Finding talent and making them successful. Of course, people
would miss out on seeing Joey Carino perform live, but this was
definitely for the best.
After about a half hour, I saw the guys get up and walk away from the
table. Joey sat there for a moment. I looked over at him wondering what
was going on. He looked over at me with a sexy grin. I smiled back at
him, watching as he got up from the chair and strutted over to me.
"Dance with me, Charlie," he asked as I looked around as there was
absolutely no music playing, and I didn't even see a jukebox. Made me
wonder how the music was piped in the other time I was here.
His hand was held out for me, and I looked up at him, confused.
"There's no music, Joey."
He smirked at me. "We can make our own music, Charlie."
My eyes widened not sure what he really meant with that statement. So
like a fool, I took his hand as he walked me toward an open space and
wrapped his arms around my waist. I kept my hands lightly around his
neck as he rocked me back and forth to the music only he heard.
He rested his forehead against mine, his eyes closed, just swaying the
both of us back and forth and side to side. To say I felt silly was an
understatement. I could feel a million eyes on me and embarrassment
crept up my neck to settle on my cheeks. Finally opening his eyes, he
looked into mine and within those depths I saw sadness. When we'd
broken up, I didn't want to see him and refused his calls. He'd cheated
on me, and I was pissed. But looking at him now I know he didn't get
his closure.
"I still love you, Charlie." I stopped moving and removed my hands
from his neck to cup his face in my hands.
"And I'll always love you too, but too much time has passed between
us. Too much stuff has happened to you to change you. Yes, Joey,
you've changed." I looked straight into his eyes. "You were my first
everything and you'll always hold a special part of my heart, but I can't
allow you to break it all over again."
"So I guess that this is completely out of the question?" I narrowed my
eyes at him, not understanding when his lips came crashing down on

mine. His hands were still around my waist and as he pulled me closer
to him, my hands were trapped against his chest. The shock of the kiss
and the inability to push him away confused me enough that I kissed
him back. He moved his hands from my waist and tangled the ponytail
around one of them. He pulled back suddenly and stepped away.
"What the hell was that about?" I hissed.
"I wanted to kiss you."
I looked at him like he was crazy, but he just stood there and smirked at
me. "Well you're not allowed to kiss me anymore, Joey," I said as I
tried to push him backwards. "You are no longer the owner of these
lips." I pushed him back again. He laughed.
"You need a drink to disinfect your lips." He chuckled at me as he
walked toward the bar.
"Damn straight, bucko!"

t w e n t y o n e
I had no idea how long I stayed at the bar. In between shots, and beer,
and Joey, the place got busy, and the sun was no longer blinding us
whenever someone opened the door, so it had to be late. I tried to check
the time on my phone, but everything was fuzzy. Even though I'd been
keeping myself hydrated with water, I drank more than I should have.
Now I had no idea how I'd get back to the hotel. Unless I crawled.
Today was a bad idea. I shouldn't have been here. I shouldn't have been
with Joey. He needed a better influence than this. But the past got the
better of me, and I couldn't turn him down. The drunker I got, the more
I saw the old Joey I'd fallen in love with. The boy who stole my heart.
Joey had made the rounds to various tables, socializing with people he
seemed to know. He seemed fine, but I felt like anything I ate would be
coming back to pay me a visit, and I really didn't want to have to deal
with that cheeseburger a second time.
"We should get out of here," he said so suddenly I had to whip my head
around to see where he was.
"I think I'm blind, Joey," I whined. "I can't see a damn thing." I squinted
my eyes in his direction, and he laughed at me.
"Well, hell, you drank yourself blind. It does happen."
I frowned. How did he sound so put together? He drank double what I
did.
"Come on, drunkie." He grinned at me. "We'll get a cab to your
hotel."
As he helped me out of the chair, I patted his cheek. "Now that's the boy
I remember. I missed him."
"I missed you too," he replied, and there was something soft in his

eyes, but I couldn't tell what it was. I was going blind, after all.
My stomach started to grumble, and I pressed my hands there. "Yeah,
we'd better go. Like now." I hoped the fresh air would make me feel
better, but then I remembered this was L.A. and the smog was probably
hanging low because of the heat.
I leaned against Joey for support, tripping and sliding like my legs were
made of Jell-O. "Are you taking me home?"
Joey looked down at me. "Yes, Charlie. We're getting you to your
hotel."
"Oh," I said sadly.
"Oh?" he asked still looking at me.
"Well I thought you wanted to fuck me." I burped and covered my
mouth, giggling at my outburst.
"Well, yeah, but you can't even see."
Pressed tightly to his side, I inhaled his scent. He smelled faintly of
booze and sweat, but it was a comforting scent. I stuck my nose in his
neck. "You smell good," I mumbled.
He chuckled, sniffing himself. "Really? I think I kinda stink."
"Stink?" I laughed and took another whiff. "No way. You smell
amaaaaazing!"
"Hmmm...you can fuck me in my hotel!" I shouted as we headed out
the door. I heard Joey muttering to people around us. One guy shouted
go get her, tiger! '.
On the street, Joey opened a cab door and gently lifted me inside while
he went to the street side to climb in. I wanted to wonder about where
the cab came from, but my brain wouldn't work for shit. Damn, I'm
drunk. Then I laughed at my own silly thought.
When the driver pulled away from the curb, I felt my stomach lurch.
Dizzy, so dizzy. I leaned my head against the window, which wasn't
cool at all. It was hot and sticky.
"Is she gonna puke in my cab?" the driver asked. I must've been making
noises.
"She'll be fine."
That's right. I'll be fine, I wanted to tell the driver, but my stomach
lurched again, and I wasn't so sure. We weren't that far from the hotel. I

managed to hold in anything that wanted to come out. Joey helped me
out of the cab and into the foyer of the hotel. I was sick of being here. It
was impersonal, and I missed my dog.
"Did you know I have a dog?" I slurred as Joey kept his arms tight
around me, walking me carefully to the elevators.
"No. Didn't know you had a dog."
I nodded and tilted my head. "I do. His name is Paco. He's neurotic. He
reminds me of you." I closed my eyes once we were inside the elevator.
He grinned, raising an eyebrow. "Your dog reminds you of me?"
"Mhm." I tried to smile at him, but he was blurry. So tired. Why can't I
keep my eyes open? I started sliding down Joey's side, but he just
hitched me back up. I patted his arm. "He's cute like you."
"So you have a dog that reminds you of me and he's cute. Like
me."
"Yep," I said, squinting to bring him into focus.
The elevator dinged, and Joey asked, "Which room, babe?"
Babe? I ran a slow hand down his chest. "Aww, you just called me
babe." God, I missed him. So, so much. I felt a sadness falling over me,
but I shoved it away.
He smiled softly. "Room?"
I pointed out into the hallway. "Room, right. Room." I gave him a
number, hoping it was the right one. He walked me down the hall.
When we reached a door, I suddenly realized he was holding my purse.
He kept a strong arm around me while he searched for the keycard. He
slipped the white card in, but it gave a beep and a red light.
I made a buzzer sound. "Try again."
He laughed. "I'm trying, I'm trying."
He tried it several more times. It looked like a struggle. I guess trying to
hold me up and open a door at the same time was kind of difficult. But
he finally managed it, and we both stumbled in to the darkened room. I
looked around to see the bed was made, and my computer was on the
desk, with the sheets of paper neatly stacked on next to it.
Something looked strange. "That's not how I left it, is it?" I asked

myself.
Joey stayed close to the door as I spun around the room, probably
looking like I was about to topple over at any minute. I stopped for a
moment and drank him in.
"Are you gonna come over here?" I purred at him.
He smiled at me but didn't move. "I know what you're doing, Charlie."
His eyes narrowed in my direction.
I flopped back on the bed. "I'm drunk and don't know what you're
talking about." I kicked off my sandals, scissoring my legs in Joey's
direction. "I can't see you now," I said, while leaning on my elbows.
"Yes, Charlie, you have great legs. Yes, I want to fuck you. No, I won't
because you'll hate yourself and me in the morning."
I pouted at him, and he came closer to the bed. When he was within
reach, I pulled up on my knees and grabbed him. I guess I wasn't aware
of my strength because we both fell backward, the mattress bouncing
beneath our weight.
I laughed and nibbled his ear. "Isn't this what you wanted earlier?"
He groaned, trying to pry himself off of me. I took the groan as a good
sign and bit a little harder on his lobe.
"You're killing me, Charlie. Killing me here."
Once I let go of his ear, he managed to detangle himself from me, and I
whined, "No, no, no. Just one night. Let's just have one night together. I
miss you." I got back up on my knees and tore my tank top off. My
chest was heaving as I stared down at him, and I found myself sobering
up a bit. I started to second guess myself. Did I want to be with him?
What would one night together do to us? All these thoughts bombarded
my brain, but they were all a jumble. I couldn't tell one from the other.
Shoving that mess away, I told myself, I do want this! I do!
Joey stared at me in my lacy powder blue bra. I was starting to unbutton
my shorts when he pulled me forward, grabbing my hands and stopping
my striptease. "For the love of all that is holy, do not take those
off."
I bit my lip, looking up demurely at him. He closed his eyes and ran a
hand across his shaved head. "You told me no' earlier. What's

different now?" he asked me softly.
I' d brought my hand to the top of my bra, rubbing my fingers over my
breast, knowing that I was not playing fair. I pulled my hair out of the
tie and tossed it around my shoulders.
"So?" His jaw pulsed as he tried to hold back his raging lust.
"Who said anything was different now?"
Joey sat back, throwing his legs off the edge of the bed. "Don't give me
that shit, Charlie. A few hours ago, you were pissed because I kissed
you, and now you're begging me to take you right here! You can't play
this game with me! "
"It's not a game, Joey. I changed. My. Mind. I'm a woman. We do that,
you know."
Joey took a deep breath and paced around the room. I wasn't sure if he
was trying to talk him into something or out of something. I felt my
mood slipping as the buzz dwindled, and I was starting to feel foolish.
This was a game I was playing. Fuck.
I sat down on the bed and put my head in my hands. "I fucking suck," I
moaned. Looking between my fingers, I watched Joey stop pacing.
He kneeled in front of me. "Is this my Charlie?" he asked, and I
whacked his shoulder. "You would've really hated me in the morning if
I took advantage of you."
I curled in on myself, pulling my legs in. All I could do was nod. He
was right. This was wrong. All of it. We couldn't bring the past back.
One night wouldn't make us what we once were. What we had was
gone. Forever. Lost in the sea of women he chose over me, the lifestyle
that took him away from me.
His eyes flickered down to my barely-clad breasts, and he waggled his
eyebrows. Yep, there's the Joey I remember.
I immediately brought my hands up to cover myself. "Ass."
"So now you're gonna play shy?" he teased. Then his eyes softened,
and he gulped. Turning, he headed for the door and rested his hand on
the handle as he said, "Thank you for tonight, Charlie."
"You're welcome," I whispered, even though it made no sense to
respond. I glanced down at my half-naked body and wanted to cry.

With one last deep breath, he opened and the door and walked out.
I woke with a blinding headache and cotton mouth. Groaning, I pulled
the sheet back. I was still sleeping in my bra and shorts. Slowly, I
pushed myself up as I looked around the room. Last night... it took me a
few seconds, but things came back. I closed my eyes, remembering
exactly what happened last night and groaned loudly in the extra
pillow. What an emotional fucking rollercoaster yesterday was. Why
did I do that to myself? What the hell was wrong with me?
We' d been over for years, and then in a drunken rage, I threw myself at
him?
I suck. I suck. I suck.
Burying myself back underneath the comforter, I let that play in my
head. This was getting out of hand. All of it. Being Joey's publicist was
turning me into someone I no longer recognized. Both Matthew and
Joey were too under my skin for my comfort level, and I needed to back
the fuck off. I thought about texting Joey to apologize, but I chickened
out. I checked my messages and email, barely able to keep my eyes
opened. I hadn' t drunk that much alcohol since college, and today I
was really feeling the effects.
I ticked off a mental checklist of the things I would need in the very
near future—a shower and food...greasy food. Those were the answer.
I was in the shower when I heard a knocking at the door. Hopping out, I
threw a towel around my body and opened the door.
Matthew stood there, grin on his face, as he watched me try to keep the
towel in place.
"Why are you here?" I stuttered.
"Can I come in?" He nodded toward my room.

I swallowed and stared at the floor, opening the door wider for him.
Shit. Shit. shit. Why was he here, and why was he grinning? Needing a
moment, I muttered, "I need to finish my shower. Give me a few
minutes."
I mean, I still had shampoo in my hair! But I had no idea why Matthew
was here. We didn't have any meetings today, and I was planning on
sticking close to the hotel. And not drinking myself silly.
Once I finished the shower, I dried off and put on the guest robe that
hung in the bathroom. My hair was turbaned in a towel.
Stepping out into the room, I clutched the robe to me, flickering curious
eyes to Matthew. He was sitting in the chair nearest the side table, his
foot bouncing up and down. After my night with Joey, I really didn' t
want to have to deal with him. I sat down in the opposite chair as far
away from him as possible.
Despite my worries, I couldn't help but take him in. He looked really
good today. Dark jeans, light Banks T-shirt and his ever-present
Chucks. His hair was messily styled, but that was Matthew. Run a hand
through his hair, and he was done. It pissed me off.
"So?" I asked, waiting for him to explain himself. I was ready for my
greasy food, and I planned on eating it alone.
" S o . "
I rolled my eyes. "Cut the shit, Matthew. I had a late night and I'm
hungry."
He raised his eyebrows up at me. "That's why I'm here."
I must have looked confused because he smiled back at me. He pulled
something out of his back pocket and threw it in my direction. The first
was a picture of me and Joey, dancing at the bar. The second one was of
him kissing me.
"Shit! Where'd you get this?"
"It's all over the Internet, sweetheart."
"So what? You thought you'd come here and perhaps kill two birds
with one stone? Thinking that Joey was here last night?"
He looked down at the pictures, then back up at me. "I didn't know
what I'd find."
I looked down at the photos again, disgusted that someone would

exploit our one stupid night together. Plus, how would I explain to
Matthew that the picture wasn't what it seemed?
"We were dancing. He kissed me. I told him to knock it off and that's
it."
Matthew leaned his elbows on his knees as he quietly explained,
"There are more pictures of him coming here. They're time-stamped,
and they have him leaving approximately forty-five minutes later.
What do you think the gossip sites are saying right now?
I stood up suddenly. "So you're going to believe those sites over me?" I
hissed.
"I didn't say that." He rubbed his hands together. "It's a compromising
situation. You're his ex, and also his publicist. Hired by
the label."
I know! I grabbed my wet hair by the fistfuls. "Fuck! " If my father got
wind of this, he'd have my ass back in Phoenix before I could say sorry.
"Nothing happened. I got exceedingly drunk. Joey helped me back to
my room. We talked for a bit and he left."
"It poses a problem for the meeting tomorrow with the label,
Charlie."
I closed my eyes and groaned loudly. Dammit! "Maybe we can work
this in our favor. You guys want a clean break from them. Perhaps this
will be incentive."
"So you're saying to make it look like you were whoring yourself out?"
he shot back at me.
"I never said anything like that! " I started wringing my hands as I
paced back and forth.
Matthew pinched the bridge of his nose. I'd noticed he'd do that when
he was frustrated. He stood up. "We'll think of something. Get dressed,
and we'll get breakfast."
"It's all out of context, Matthew. Nothing happened. I wouldn't let
anything happen, and then he wouldn't."
Matthew looked at me sideways, and I realized I gave too much
information away.
"Just.. .get dressed, Charlie."
I grabbed clothes from the closet and rushed into the bathroom. I

can fix this, I told myself. Though I didn't really believe it. Fuck!
Looking down at the toilet, I finally threw up everything I drank last
night. Worst day ever.

t w e n t y t w o
Breakfast consisted of dry toast and tea. After emptying my stomach, I
thought it safer to eat light. Throughout the meal, Matthew was distant
and cold. I wasn't sure what to do or say to make him feel better, but I
rationalized that I didn't owe either of them anything. The only thing I
had to worry about was my dad finding out and tearing me a new one.
Once I had a piece of toast in me, my stomach felt calm enough that I
didn't feel the need to constantly jump up for the bathroom.
"How much did you drink last night?" He took a sip of his coffee.
"Too much. At one point I couldn't see a damn thing."
Matthew swore under his breath. "I guess alcohol poisoning never
crossed either of your minds?"
"I guess not," I said primly.
Matthew just shook his head and looked me over. I felt like shit, so I
must've looked it. We sat in quiet companionship until my phone
buzzed in my purse. I pulled it out of my bag and swore when I saw
who was calling. This would not be good.
"Andrew! " I answered brightly.
"Oh no, no-no, dear. Don't you dare give me that fake 'happy to hear
you' voice."
"Andrew," I grumbled.
"That's more like it. You should be glad it's me and not your father. I
had to talk him off the ceiling today. What the bloody hell is going on
there?"
I rubbed my forehead and pulled the phone away, turning to Matthew.
"He's using the British slang. It's bad." "Who are you talking to?"
Andrew asked.

"Matthew," I told him. "We're having breakfast. Andrew, those
pictures are completely inaccurate."
Andrew said something that sounded like a foreign language. "Your
lips and his lips are co-joined, how is that inaccurate?"
I rolled my eyes. "He kissed me, but I stopped him. Nothing happened.
Just let Daddy know that those pictures are not telling the whole story."
"I' m not sure if your father can be talked down," Andrew said
doubtfully. "He was yelling to get you back here. You're meeting with
the label tomorrow for Christ's sake, Charlie."
I took deep breaths.
Matthew was shaking his head back and forth, probably hearing
everything.
"I'll call Dad later. When he's cooled down. Right now I'm going to eat
my dry toast and bland tea."
"Got pissed, did ya?"
"Very. And right now I'm pissed off. Cheers, Andrew." I looked down
at my watch. "Blimey, look at the time...I've got to ring off."
I could hear him chuckling on the other end of the line. "Wise ass."
I smirked, though he couldn't see it. "Of course. Talk to you later." I
hung up and proceeded to shut my phone off. I didn't need any more
distractions today. Only reason Matthew got through was because he
fucking showed up at my door.
"Your Dad?"
"Is completely livid," I replied miserably. I rubbed my face with my
hands. "I'll never hear the end of it. Even if I explain what really
happened, he won't see it that way. He'll see it as his little girl, who
couldn't deal with being professional and somehow she screwed it up."
"I don't think he'll see it that way, but I do have a question to ask you,
and I want you to be absolutely honest with me, okay?" He leaned his
head over the middle of the table.
I was dreading this already. "Okay."
Matthew closed his eyes and ran his hand through his hair. His blue
eyes that looked back at me were clear and bright. "What did you mean
when you said Joey also stopped anything from going any further?"

I twisted the paper napkin in my hand as I tried to remember everything
that happened last night. I was three sheets to the wind, but throwing
myself at Joey was the wrong thing to do. Especially after rejecting him
earlier in the day.
Matthew tilted his head, waiting on me to speak. To tell him what he
wanted to hear. He tapped his fingers lightly on the table as I counted
down.
Through a scratchy and dry voice, I began. "I was completely wasted
last night. After Joey kissed me, I was mad at him, but he wanted to buy
me a drink. One led to fifty and I could barely stand up. He brought me
back to the hotel where I stripped and threw myself at him."
Matthew gripped his coffee cup so hard, I thought it might break. He
wouldn't look at me. The pulse in his jaw was jumping double time.
I swallowed and went on. "It was stupid of me, but he left. Nothing
happened. But even now as I think about it, I'm embarrassed. My
relationship with Joey is over." I slipped my hand over his, squeezing
gently.
"I have no right to be jealous of him, Charlie. But dammit, when I saw
that photo of you kissing him..." He trailed off.
I kept my hand on his. "You're right, you have no right to be jealous.
Even if something had happened between me and Joey, you were with
another woman when just an hour earlier you told me how much you
wanted me."
I pulled my hand back, but he grabbed it. "I slept alone that night."
"You had plans with Eva. She seemed very interested' in you." I was
trying to keep jealousy out of my voice, but I was failing miserably.
He turned my hand over on the table so it was palm up. "I was a fucking
idiot. I never wanted her. But you'd already left, and I thought if I
followed you..." "Well, it was better that I didn't."
I chanced a glance at him, and his eyes bore through me. It was that
look that he had for me and only me, and it made my heart skip a beat. I
thought of Joey and my behavior last night in the room. I thought of
Matthew and his letting me think that he and Eva had gotten together. I
was screwing up left and right since that damn concert.
I smiled at Matthew. "We'll figure something out in regards to the

label tomorrow. I'm a publicist, I can spin anything to my liking."
"And?"
"And?" I repeated.
"Are you willing to see where this," he pointed between us, "is
going?"
"I need time to think, Matthew. I can't just run into a relationship with
you. I need time."
He sunk back in his chair, dropping his hands in his lap. He looked
defeated. "Sure. Okay."
I leaned over the table and cupped his face with my hands. "I want you
more than not, Matthew. But I just need you to be patient for me."
He nodded. I saw the emotions warring within him. Sometimes I felt
like I was a ping-pong ball being tossed back and forth between him
and Joey. I knew this could be a mess of epic proportions, and once my
stomach calmed down and my head wasn't as fuzzy, I'd be able to
tackle everything thrown at me. Matthew seemed far away as he stared
at nothing. I hated making him feel this way.
The waitress came by and refilled his coffee, pouring out more hot
water and leaving a teabag for me. Stirring my tea, I thought about how
I could put everything back to the way it was. Joey and I were over.
That was a fact. I'd learned that last night, and the shame of that lesson
learned still lingered. Joey was right to leave. I was thankful for that
now. If anything had happened, it would've been a colossal mistake.
Matthew, however, was a different nut to crack. What was so different
now than he was eight years ago when we couldn't stand each other?
He was still in a dazed state as I watched him. The glazed look in his
eyes gave the blue color of them an extra depth. I took all of him in. His
hair that never looked combed, but was simply incredible. His
handsome and grown-up face. His patrician nose, straight and long, but
perfect for his face.
Biting my bottom lip, I surveyed his full mouth. His lips that had kissed
and caused me to lose all rational thought. Then my gaze wandered to
his broad shoulders, and I found myself wanting to wrap myself around
him. My breathing became labored as naughty thoughts of

us wrestling in bed took over my mind.
No. Don't do this to yourself. Yet, it was at this moment when I realized
that my feelings for Matthew were developing more so than my
relationship with Joey ever were.
Mentally slapping myself, I forced my gaze away. If he knew this was
going on in my head, he'd think I was a complete kook. And he'd
probably push for something I wasn't ready for.
Suddenly, the spoon in my hand clattered to the table, rousing Matthew
from his daydream. "Um, we should go," I sputtered, rushing to stand
and turn away from him before he caught the blush in my cheeks.
I heard his chair scrape back, and I risked a peek back at him. He threw
money down on the table and gave me a wistful look that froze me
solid.

t w e n t y - t h r e e
Talking to Dad went about as well as I had expected. It took nearly two
hours, but I finally managed to get through him that there was nothing
going on between me and Joey. The pictures were unfortunate, and the
timing sucked, but it was what it was and we'd do everything we could
to minimize damage.
I met Matthew at the offices of the record label. He was dressed to kill
in what I suspected was an Armani suit, or Tom Ford. Matthew
definitely knew how to clean up. He was on his phone when I walked
up to him. Holding his finger, gesturing for me to wait a minute, he
turns his back to me and continues on with his call. When he finally
ends the call, he presses the elevator call button.
"How are you feeling today?" He's looking up at the numbers on the
elevator display. He doesn't bother to look at me.
"I' m fine," I said curtly. I was in fact nervous as hell with this meeting.
I'd expected that Joey would be here as well, but Matthew told him not
to come. Finally, the elevator arrived and we waited until people
stepped off before we walked on. Since we were hitting one of the top
floors, I strode to the back of the box.
"So do you want me to tell you how this is going to go down?" he says,
still not looking in my direction. I turn my head to see his jaw pulsing
with what. anger?
"Why don't we wait and see what they have to say before you barge in
with a renegade attitude?"
He chuckled at that. I have to admit, the thought of Matthew rushing in
and telling the suits what was what, seemed thrilling, but when dealing
with someone's livelihood, it's best to take baby steps and ease your
way in. A gung-ho attitude would ruin everything.

Once we got the floor, we walked to the receptionist who seemed ready
for us. I could see her eyeing Matthew, and I rolled my eyes at her
flagrant body check of him. Hitching my bag higher on my shoulder, I
followed both the receptionist and Matthew into the conference room.
I' d never noticed before, but the walls were lined with platinum, gold,
and silver records, pictures of artists holding Grammy awards...one
was even holding an Oscar. It was a lot to take in and seemed a bit
indulgent. I wonder if the show of success was to scare people or make
them think they had a chance in the industry.
I took my seat on the left side of the conference table and pulled out my
laptop and the documents I needed. There was a pitcher of water set in
the middle of the table, so I reached over and poured myself one.
"Want one?" I asked Matthew who was busy texting on his phone. He
doesn't even look at me, just shakes his head and murmurs no. We
waited for about five minutes before the executives of the label stroll
in.
Matthew sticks his phone in his pocket and clears his throat.
"Gentlemen."
The older of the bunch holds his hand out for Matthew to take. He
obliges him and then they all sit down into their seats.
"We were really happy with the way that things went last week. The
show was well received, and we're even talking about recording a live
album." The other guys in the room looked at each other and said it was
a good idea. I guess this was their way of telling us that they'd keep
Joey on the label.
Mr. Oliver, the chief executive, hardened his steely blue eyes in
Matthew's direction. "We've decided that we need to see more from
Joey. He's going on tour soon; we want to add some Asian dates to
that."
Matthew said nothing, just wrote things down.
"As for you, Charlie. You've done great work with Joey until..."
I closed my eyes and knew he was going to bring up that stupid
kiss.
"Joey and I have discussed this," Matthew interrupted. "But we'd be
happier if we could end all ties with this label, effective immediately."
He pulled out some papers from his bag. There were three piles in all,
and he slid them to the gentlemen across from us. "Those are from my

lawyer who says that we can break said contract after five years and
there was no non-compete, so if you'd just sign where I flagged. I'd say
this meeting is done."
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath because with the murmuring
going on in the room, someone was about to explode.
Mr. Oliver picked up the phone in the room and hit a few buttons. He
demanded someone come into the conference room. "You don't mind if
I have my attorney look over the documents before I sign?" Mr. Oliver
said.
There was a knock on the door, and suddenly an attractive woman
came in to the room.
"I was working up contracts, David, I hope this is important."
"Victoria, this is Matthew Johns, Joey Carino's manager. Charlie
Banks, publicist."
She just folded her arms over her ample chest, tapping her stiletto onto
the rug. "It seems that Joey Carino wants out of his contract. Matthew
was kind enough to bring his lawyer's documents for us to sign."
"Wait, what?" she cried.
Matthew stood to face her. She was extremely attractive and probably
had a few years on him, but I didn't see a ring on her finger, and I was
wondering if Matthew would make a play for her. Obviously after the
meeting, but still a part of me wondered.
"We want out. It's simple. He's been part of this family for five years,
and his contract stated that after five years, he had the right to pull the
plug when he wanted. We just wanted this in writing so there was no
backlash."
Mr. Oliver handed Victoria the document. She gave it a cursory glance.
"I' m going to need more than five minutes to look this over. " She
looked over to Matthew. "You knew that we do this all in-house, so
why did you go outside of us?"
"It gets a bit messy when you're in bed with the opposition. So I thought
it safer to see someone who was completely independent of our
dealings."
"Smart," she murmured.

I was taken completely by surprise. Perhaps blindsided was the perfect
word choice for this debacle. The three men were conferring amongst
themselves as I just watched everything in the room happen. Matthew
sat back down watching as Victoria more thoroughly looked over the
document.
"No buyout?" she asked, her brow line creasing.
Matthew just shook his head. "We just want the rights to the songs
reverted back to us."
Victoria also shook her head. She flipped page after page, her facial
expressions articulating surprise. When she was finished, she sat down
at the head of the table.
Everyone stopped what they were doing and paid attention to her.
"Well, Matthew's document is pretty airtight. All they want is the rights
back to the original songs."
I just realized I was holding my breath as Victoria spoke. If they could
get out of this, then Joey could start working on his plan of developing
new talent. No tour. No slaving in the studio for hours on end recording
song after song. He'd be on the opposite side of the glass this time
putting his expertise on someone's record.
Matthew was watching the men as they deliberated in a corner. All I
could do was stare at my hands.
"Why did you do that?" I asked Matthew, turning my head to face him.
For the first time today, he also turned to look at me.
"I'd had it planned for a while, I just wasn't sure how I could bring it up.
Rather than have them rake you over the coals, I diverted the attention,
and you're all but forgotten."
I started to frown when the men came over and sat back down. I was
feeling more and more useless today, and if they signed the document,
I'd be completely useless.
"We'll agree to the conditions. It'll be nice to get him off the payroll."
I couldn't believe he'd just said that. A few minutes ago they were
talking about recording live performances and tours to Asia. Once all
three signed the document and Victoria signed off on it, Matthew
stood, placed the paper back in his bag, and strolled out of the room,
leaving me

sitting there for the wolves to descend.

t w e n t y - f o u r
I was livid by the time I'd walked out of the meeting that left me
looking like a fish out of water. I'd spoken to Andrew so he could talk
me down from the murder I wanted to commit as soon as the taxi took
me back to Matthew's office. Did Matthew even realize ending this
contract with the label, also effectively ended my job there and
possibly at the company my father owns. This would not go over well
with my dad. Just thinking about it more and more, I became more
incensed.
Once I'd finally arrived, Debbi looked up at me and knew that
something was wrong. I really wasn't in the mood for a chit-chat, but
she stood up to stop me before I tore through the doors.
"He came back in a mood, never said anything to me and once he got to
his office he slammed his door shut the whole floor rattled. What
happened?"
I just shook my head. "Matthew happened. Has Joey called in yet?" She
shook her head then proceeded to hit the button to let me in the
corridor. I walked by my temporary office and placed my computer bag
and purse just in the doorway.
I was pissed off, livid wasn't even a strong enough word for how I was
feeling. Barging into Matthew's office, I tried to slam the door just as
hard as he had when he came back.
"What the fuck, Charlie?" Matthew looked up from his desk. He was
furious, but so was I. What he'd pulled in the meeting was a low blow to
me and my father' s company, and I was going to let him know exactly
what I thought of his devious machinations.
Folding my arms against my chest, I started: "What the fuck, Charlie?
Oh, I don't think so, Matthew." I stalked predatorily over to his desk,
placing my hands down so it looked like we were on equal footing.

Whatever he'd been doing was tossed aside after I charged into his
office. Staring at him hard, I noticed he'd taken his jacket and tie off
and unbuttoned several of the buttons near his neck. He watched me as
I fought to keep my expression neutral. Matthew stood up and
mimicked my stance. I'd just noticed that his shirtsleeves were rolled
up to his elbows, and I could see the tension in his muscles as he leaned
toward me. I knew exactly what Matthew was doing. Staring me down,
hoping I'd back down first, but I wouldn't. I couldn't.
"You made me and my father's company look like fools in that
meeting." I hissed through clenched teeth.
"I did what was best for Joey and his career," he retorted. "Without
telling me?" I cried.
"It was better to leave you out of the loop, so to speak." His voice
dropped to menacing levels. I could feel the shiver of coldness sliver
down my spine.
"I thought we were supposed to be working together. We both want
what is in Joey's best interest!" I finally stood straight, crossing my
arms across my chest. Matthew stood and walked over to where I was
standing. I found myself backing up away from him. The look on his
face was pure predator.
"I needed to minimize the damage caused by your inexperience of
dealing with the paparazzi. I needed to make sure that any information
they would've used against you and Joey was nipped fast and sure." I
kept backing up until I hit the wall beside the office door. Matthew
caged me in with both arms on either side of my head.
"And you didn't think to tell me? Matthew, you left me there after you
walked out! How do you think things went after that?"
Matthew closed his eyes and rubbed the bridge of his nose. I tried to
break free from his jail, but he was too quick and placed his hand back
on the wall. "That was just unfortunate."
"Unfortunate." I laughed wryly. "I guess everything about me is
unfortunate, huh?"
Matthew' s eyes darkened as he bent down to graze my ear with his lips.
"Nothing about you is unfortunate, Charlie. What is unfortunate is that
you've been placed in this position." His lips caressed my outer ear.

"What is more unfortunate is how much I want to be inside of you right
now."
Before I could even make a move or push him away, his lips crushed
down onto mine, his tongue sweeping across my bottom lip tantalizing
it, begging me to open up to him. I placed my hands on his chest to push
him back, but feeling the hard planes of his body, messed with my head
and before I knew it, my mouth was devouring his. His hands
un-tucked my shirt from the skirt, fingers skimming along my ribs to
the underside of my breasts.
"Jesus, Charlie." He moaned into my ear. I could feel the warmth and
strength of his fingers gently caressing my breasts. "You feel so
fucking good, baby." He pushed the cup of my bra to the side to play
with my nipple that was fully erect. Lips leaving mine, he bent down to
take it into his mouth. He released a moan as he flicked the nipple with
his tongue. The floodgates opened, and I wanted him right here and
right now. Keeping his assault on my breast, I whimpered. The heat
coursing through my body by his touch and his kiss was off-the-charts
hot. Trying to pull him up, I wrapped one leg around his hip.
He had that knowing look and grabbed my other leg so I was
completely wrapped up around him. My back was still against the wall;
my hands were all over him. His hair, face, neck, shoulders.
I couldn' t take much more, I was so hot and wet and horny. He did this
to me whenever he was around. "Please, Matt. Please?" I begged
around his lips.
Slowly walking backwards toward his desk, he pushed things off, his
computer falling into his leather chair. He laid me down while still
kissing me. I knew that this was it. What I wasn't expecting was him to
kneel down, pulling my skirt up and my panties down. He stared at my
sex with a glazed look. Pushing my knee up on the desk, he started his
descent. I knew once he started, I wouldn't want him to stop. I wanted
to feel his lips and tongue on me in the most primal way. His teasing
fingers caressed the thin skin of my thigh. I wasn't bald, but neatly
trimmed which he hovered over, his breath causing me to lose my
mind. If he blew on my clit, I was afraid that I would blow over and
explode all over him.

Once he was satisfied that I was completely worked up, he lightly
flicked my clit with his tongue. A groan escaping his throat when he
pushed his face further between my legs. I couldn't stop what was
happening, and I knew that right now I wanted him in me, on me, and
beside me. I wanted him to fuck me and do it hard and rough. I bucked
my hips when his tongue slid inside my wetness. He was lapping me up
like a kitten takes to milk.
I was so breathless I could barely speak. "I'm going to come, Matt." As
soon as I said that he slid his fingers into my vagina. One, two, I' m not
sure how many, but all I knew was that I was in a state of agonizing
bliss. His curved fingers found that spot that had me practically
shooting off his desk.
"Come for me, Charlie," he whispered. I looked down at him and
caught him watching me. Gauging my reactions for him. "Fuck me,
Matthew."
A chuckle. "I thought that was what I was doing." I could feel my body
spiraling into that vortex that would have me screaming out his name in
thirty seconds. The pulsing and the spreading of heat started in my
belly, radiated over to my back, and I came in an exquisite finale. My
body was primed and tighter than a newly tuned piano. Sliding his
fingers out of me, I still managed to shudder from the glorious
after-effects of the orgasm.
I opened my eyes and watched as Matthew's hooded look drank me in.
He took the two fingers he'd had inside of me and stuck them in his
mouth. I licked my lips like I was sucking my juice off his fingers.
Because Matthew's pants were tighter, I could see a visible bulge that I
knew would need to be taken care of sooner rather than later.
Pulling me up and cradling my head against his chest, I sighed. "Come
home with me, Charlie." He asked so softly and sweetly, I knew I'd take
his hand and try to run out of there.
I took a deep breath and looked up at him. For the first time I saw him
looking at me like the one person he couldn't live without. I saw pride,
happiness, and one that I'd never expected to see from Matthew. Love.
I connected with his blue eyes and nodded my head.

And with that, I got the most dazzling smile I'd ever seen.

t w e n t y - f i v e
We' d cleaned up and left the office soon after our tryst. I was starting to
regret my decision to go back to his house. Considering I'd never been
before, I wasn't exactly sure what I would find. Knowing Matthew, it
would be a normal bachelor pad. This made me wonder if it would be
clean.
Matthew didn't live in an auspicious section of L.A., but the
neighborhoods we drove through still screamed money. We didn't
speak in the car, yet our fingers were entwined together. His thumb
lightly brushed the back of my hand. He pulled onto a street that looked
more like a cul-de-sac and drove into an opening garage. His house was
modest. A small bungalow that was nestled between similar homes on
either side. His front lawn was meticulous, and the rose bushes were in
full bloom. I noticed a few rhododendrons leading toward an arched
doorway that must lead to the backyard.
I wasn't able to inspect more of the outside because we were quickly in
a garage and the door was closing behind us. Matthew got out of the car
quickly and walked over to my side, opening the door for me. His
garage was big enough for three cars, but I only saw the car he'd
originally picked me up in. Besides that, he had a work bench with
various power tools, which surprised me.
Matthew put his hand on the small of my back and led me through the
garage to the main part of the house. The garage led to the kitchen,
which was a chefs dream. The house boasted state of the art appliances,
beautiful granite counters, and bleached wood throughout.
Once we were in his living room, he put his hands in his pockets and
rocked on his toes. He seemed nervous having me here. The living
room was decorated pretty much the way I'd expected. Huge flat screen

TV on the wall, black leather couches, ottoman, side chairs, and a gas
fireplace. I'd noticed he'd had a lot of black and white photos hanging
on the walls. Some were professionally done and others looked like
they were taken by an amateur. However, they were all incredible. I
could tell that some of them were of Joey performing with the crowd
blurred out around him. It was amazing.
"I took that one a few years back. I was in the engineer' s booth. So the
shot was perfect." He must've watched my eyes follow the trail of
pictures.
"It's incredible."
He nodded his head. "Do you want something to drink? Water, beer,
wine?"
I could've really used a glass of wine, but I opted for, "Water, please."
I sat down on the couch and sunk in. I wasn't expecting to be enveloped
in leather, but this damn couch was so comfortable. Matthew came
back with a glass of water in one hand and beer in the other.
Looking around, I murmured, "I've never been here."
Twisting the top off his beer, he took a deep pull. "Yeah, not many
people come to casa Matt."
I nodded, taking a sip of my water. It quenched the fire in my throat.
For some reason, words were failing me. I knew what I was doing here
and why I was here. But now that the adrenaline from earlier was gone,
I felt dirty and a bit nervous. I leaned over to pull a drink coaster toward
me and promptly spilled my water all over the leather ottoman.
"Shit! I'm so sorry."
"No worries. He stood up, headed toward the kitchen bringing back
paper towels. "Leather is easy to clean-up; hence the living room being
covered in it."
"I feel like an idiot." Matthew mopped up the water and threw the
towels into the wastebasket. He pulled me up, bringing me close to his
chest. He smelled like me and a bit of himself. I found myself wanting
to be buried in his strong arms.
"You are not an idiot. It's water. No big deal."
I sighed into his chest. "I'm not talking about that." I peeked a

glance at him, watching his face convey every question that he was
afraid to ask.
He took a deep breath and stepped back from me. "Does this have to do
with Joey?"
"Somewhat, Matthew. I'm just not sure what I'm feeling right now.
Earlier, I wanted to jump on you and fuck your brains and
smartass-ness right out of you. Now, I'm not sure I'm thinking clearly.
Obviously we're attracted to each other." I started pacing.
I knew that I wasn't making much sense. I stopped in front of Matthew
again, placing my palms on his cheeks. "I'm a mess," I joked as I started
stroking his face, slowly moving my fingers to the nape of his neck
where his hair gently grazed his shirt collar.
He managed to snake his arms around my waist, pulling me in tightly.
"For once, Charlie, don't think and just feel." A light brush of his lips
ghosted over my lips, trailing down to below my ear. A soft moan
escaped my throat as I tried to do what he asked. I was trying my
hardest to just enjoy this. This was everything I needed. Matthew
murmured all the right things, while slightly teasing me. My nipples
were pebbling under my shirt, and I wanted him to take them into his
mouth and make sweet love to them.
With hooded eyes, he slowly stopped the torturous but wonderful
exploration of my body, Matthew linked his fingers with mine and
proceeded to his bedroom.
Matthew took his time undressing me, slowly working me up to a
frenzy that I suddenly found myself in. With nothing more than white
lace underclothes still on, he proceeded to remove his pants and shirt. I
knew that what I saw beneath would be nothing short of miraculous, as
he' d filled out quite nicely. He ran a tongue along my lips as he
jimmied

his jeans off. When he was down to his boxer-brief, I saw what awaited
me. I'd felt Matthew before, but just seeing it try to snake its way out of
his underwear was impressive. I managed to pull myself up to the
headboard of his massive king-sized bed while Matthew crawled on all
fours trying to get to me. He flashed me an amazing smile which in turn
caused me to get up on my knees and meet him half-way.
Smashing our lips together, I couldn't get enough of him. He was
quickly becoming my air and every kiss we shared, I took his breath
and entwined it with mine. His fingers tangled in my hair pulling
slightly on it, giving him more access to my neck.
"Christ, Charlie. You have no idea how badly I want you."
"Shhhh..." It was all I could say, as I trailed my lips down his chest,
finally meeting his belly button. That garnered me another amazing
smile while he slyly managed to unhook my bra. Ever so carefully, he
pulled one strap down til it rested at my elbow. He followed the same
path with the other shoulder. He trailed kisses until he found the erect
nipple. With a tug and a pull, he sucked on my nipple, causing me to
sway backwards. I could feel the rush of warmth and wetness pool in
my panties and realized that I really wanted this to happen. Arching my
back to give him better access to my breasts. While sucking on one, his
fingers were pleasuring the other one.
I was feeling extremely selfish as my hands hung by my sides, doing
nothing to him. Breaking away from the breast, he gently laid me back,
arranging my legs around his waist. With minute precision, he pulled
down my panties painstakingly slowly while softly teasing every ounce
of flesh I had down there. Once the panties were flung behind him, he
slowly rubbed his nose inside my thigh giving small, extremely
torturous bites. He was contemplating his next move, I just knew.
Pulling up on his knees, he finally pulled the boxer-briefs down,
freeing his erection while leaning over to grab the square foil packet
he'd somehow managed to leave beside us. He chuckled at the awed
look on my face while he pulled me up on to his lap. Matthew took my
legs and wrapped them around his waist as he pulled his out straight.
Once he breached that first step, I was falling into ecstasy. Ever so
slowly, he entered me while lifting my ass cheeks to give him a better
angle. Once

he was fully inside, we stared at each other. Both of us said nothing as I
felt him firmly inside me. With a subtle motion, he moved gently inside
of me. I followed and moved my hips as we found a rhythm that
worked for us. Every so often I would lean back, and he'd hit that spot
that would cause a loud, guttural moan.
"Faster, Matthew, please," I would breathe when I'd get to that point.
At times I would pull off and slam down on him causing him to shudder
and elicit his own gratified moan. He filled me up and gave me
everything I wanted that night. I knew then that we weren't just fucking
for fuck's sake. He was slowly claiming me, making love to every inch
of my body until we both exploded in a sweaty, euphoric mess.
After we finished, Matthew stayed inside of me as we continued to look
at each other. "Fucking beautiful, Charlie." I shivered, and he rubbed
my arms. "You are incredible, sweetheart."
I was the one to finally pull back as he fell out of me. I laid down and
literally purred and stretched my overly satiated body. Matthew
grabbed a tissue from the table and got off the bed to take care of the
condom. Watching him walk to the en-suite, I could see a very well-cut
figure and ass that looked tight and strong. I could flip quarters on that
ass. I slowly looked over to my backside and sighed. Dimpled and
small.
Matthew stood in the doorway, completely au natural and completely
at ease. Leaning against the jamb with his arms crossed, I leaned up on
my elbows. "Is there something wrong?"
"I was admiring the body in my bed. Her long legs, her hips and breasts
that I can't seem to get enough of." I giggled at him. I actually giggled
then rolled my eyes. Staying in the same position, he shook his head.
"We should think about getting some dinner."
I nodded my head and stretched out again, working out the kinks that
made me feel buttery and relaxed. I'd closed my eyes and enjoyed the
feel of my back and legs stretching. I'd kept my eyes closed when I
heard a seductive growl. I opened one eye in time for Matthew to
pounce on me again.

otitwte/i
t w e n t y s i x
Matthew treated me to a dinner of store brand pasta and tomato sauce
from a jar. We had bread with butter, and he cracked open a bottle of
wine. It was an interesting choice of food, but it wasn't all bad. He'd put
on some workout shorts and cooked without a shirt on. I was wearing
one of his t-shirts that just skimmed my ass. It wasn't an overly
romantic dinner, but it was pretty special all the same.
He'd been staring at me over his wine glass as I swirled my spaghetti on
my fork. I'd put the mouthful in and caught his gaze. As glamorous as
spaghetti was, I'd still managed to get some sauce on my chin. Matthew
leaned over with his napkin and wiped it off.
A shiver of utter desire tore through me.
"You keep staring at me, Matthew." I put my fork down and folded my
hands on the table while trying to not break the contact of our eyes.
Taking another sip of his wine, he placed his glass down. "Just amazed
that you're here." He looked around the house. "With me."
I could feel my cheeks heat up. Knowing what we'd done an hour ago,
still lingered between us.
"I know what you mean," I said softly.
"What does it mean for us, Charlie? I know what I want, but I'm not
entirely sure if we're on the same page."
I knew exactly where he was going with this. The elephant in the room,
which hung on the walls of his house. Joey.
"I'm not sure what you want me to say, Matthew. We can't just
broadcast that we re sleeping with each other."
He raked a hand through his hair, but he still looked incredible. Even
when his hair was willy-nilly, he was amazing. "That s not what I
mean, Charlie. I need to know what I am to you. What do I mean to

you?"
Biting my lip, I inhaled a big breath of air, trying to center my rapidly
beating heart. "I m not sure what s going on, Matthew. I just think we
need to take this slow. Like really slow."
Matthew got up from the table and cleared his plate into the sink. I
could see the muscles in his back constrict and relax as he leaned down
on the counter for support. "I m willing to take things as slowly as you
want, sweetheart. What I need to know is what is he to you?"
I was taken aback for exactly a second. "He means nothing to me. I
gave up on Joey after the texts and the compromising positions he put
himself in. Right now, he s just a job. Whatever happened was a minute
of extremely stupid and rash behavior."
He turned around to face me, walking over to me. Giving me his hand,
he pulled me up, cupping my cheeks and slowly bending down to kiss
me. It was a sweet, almost chaste kiss. A butterfly kiss, but once the
wings started flapping and his tongue darted out to lick my bottom lip,
the hunger between the two of us became voracious. My hands worked
through his hair, down his neck. Holding on to his shoulders, I tried to
pull him in closer. I didn t want to give this up.
"Stay with me tonight, Charlie."
I laid my head on his chest, listening to his erratic heartbeat that I
caused. I was torn between doing what was right and what my body
was screaming for me to do.
"I want to, Matthew; I just don't think it's wise right now." Matthew
looked down at me nodding his head.
"Your staying here tonight isn t really taking things slowly, is it?"
I chuckled. He skimmed his hands across my ass as I pressed a kiss to
his chest. I was being stupid and giving up the night spent in his arms
was completely idiotic.

Settling in the bed alone at the hotel was lonely. After the evening spent
declaring our feelings, I knew I was acting ridiculous for shutting
Matthew out while I figured out a way to let Joey know that his best
friend was starting to hold the key to my heart. I had been relaxed and
calm, but once I left Matthew, everything came rushing back. My brain
started working overtime, and I wanted it to stop.
TV was not holding my attention, and there was nothing but sappy love
songs when I turned on the radio. I started searching the Internet for
sales and when that lost my attention, I shut the computer down and set
it on the floor beside me.
I wasn t sure what tomorrow would bring with the change in my
relationship with Matthew. Sleeping with someone and working in the
same office could be a bit problematic. Especially if everyone could
see me with a stupid, satisfied grin on my face. It practically screamed
'I got laid!
My phone started buzzing, and I had to get out of bed because I d left it
on the desk.
Matt: Can't stop thinking of you and smelling you all over my bed.
Sweet dreams, sweetheart. See you tomorrow.
A broad smile came to my face, and I knew that I was beginning that
descent into what could only be madness. My palms were sweaty, my
heart rate spiking. I could feel the prickly heat behind my neck.
Oh shit!
I was falling in love with him.

t w e n t y - s e v e n
The flush of embarrassment occurred the moment I walked into the
office. Debbi was sitting at her desk, typing on her computer and
talking to someone on the phone. It sounded like she was scheduling an
appointment for Matthew. As much as I wanted to hear what was going
on, I just let her buzz me in and headed down to my cubby hole of an
office.
With the events of yesterday, I knew that I d be in shit-saving mode
with the label and dealing with my dad. My first email of the day came
in around midnight with my dad demanding my return home. On top of
the pictures that were leaked of me and Joey, Daddy talked to the label
and wasn t extremely happy with what had gone on.
Honestly, I would ve preferred to send Matthew s head on a silver
platter for the uproar he caused yesterday at the meeting. Andrew
would be on my side, and I d need him to play messenger for me.
However, I was afraid that Dad would cut me off, forcing me back
home looking like a complete failure.
Just as I was about to call Andrew, a knock on the door pulled me away
from phone.
"Joey?" He stood there with hands stuffed in pockets looking a bit
shoddy. In fact, he looked like he hadn t slept or showered.
"Talked to Matthew," he said, still standing in the doorway. My lips
slashed into a straight line because I really wasn t sure what Matthew
had talked to him about. But if he mentioned anything about the two of
us, then this relationship was not going slowly at all. And that pissed
me off.
"Oh?" Real smooth, Charlie.
Joey finally came into my office, not quite closing the door all the

way.
"The meeting," he stated. I nodded my head, tapping my ever present
pen on the desk. He looked down at the drumming pen. "I m sorry it
went the way it did, although, I m not sorry that Matthew did what he
had to, it s why he s the best partner I have. He gets me, and he knows
what I need. But you absolutely did not need to be collateral damage."
"What s done is done, Joe. I need to work on some damage control with
Dad, but I understand."
"It wasn't fair to you, and I pretty much let Matthew know." He picked
at his thumbnail. "I let him know in no uncertain terms that you were
not to be hurt in all this. He also showed me the pictures that were taken
the night we were at the bar. Charlie, I didn t know."
I held my hand up to stop him. "Joey, I m not blaming you for that or
the meeting. Matthew did things for you, and I appreciate that he did
them. Was I happy that he made me feel stupid? No. The pictures didn
t help, but they also didn t tell the whole story. As for the meeting?
Well, it seems that you re free of your contract so you and Matthew can
start forming your own partnership and effectively my business with
you is over. So it s a win-win."
I could see the beginning of a smile creep along his lips, but then it
changed once I finished talking. I was happy for him, happy that things
were going his way and that he d be happy with whatever he decided.
He deserved that. Being a rock star might look like an amazing job, but
just in the few weeks I ve been here, it s been hard work for him. His
concert was exhausting, and he d suffered the after effects for a few
days.
We d been talking for a while when Matthew barged into my office,
because the door hadn t been fully closed. Joey stood up suddenly as
Matthew started making his way to me. I could tell by the lustful look
in his eyes, he wasn t expecting Joey to still be here. I tried to keep the
flurry of emotions at bay but seeing him there in his normal wear of
jeans and a t-shirt, I couldn t help but stare. It brought me back to the
night before when we were fully entwined, our legs wrapped around
each other. I found the flush climbing up my cheeks and had to look
down at my desk to keep Joey from noticing. Biting my bottom lip

seemed like a good idea to break the spell and hold Matthew seemed to
have on me.
I was a right rotten bitch. Falling in love with my ex-boyfriend s best
friend. I started taking in large breaths of air realizing that both of them
were crowding me in my small space. The both of them were too big
and full, and I felt like the air was being sapped from the room. Joey
looked from me to Matthew, crooking an eyebrow at Matthew that
spoke volumes to me. Matthew ever so slightly shook his head.
Clearing his throat, Matthew opened his mouth to talk. "Just came to
see if you," he nodded his head toward me, "wanted to have an apology
lunch for yesterday's meeting." He looked to me, grimaced then turned
back to Joey. "You re invited as well. We can discuss our next steps."
I could see the wrinkles in Joey s brow like he was trying to figure out a
problem that he wasn t sure could be figured. I held my breath, closing
my eyes slowly opening them to see Joey staring at me with a surprised
look. I watched Matthew, I could tell that he hadn t planned on inviting
him, but for reasons known to us, he needed to.
"Sure," Joey spoke. "Anywhere in particular?"
"I have no preference," I said quickly. "Matthew?" I looked at him
trying to convey anything to calm him down. Before Matthew could
answer, Joey spoke.
"I want to go someplace where there are no paparazzi," Joey growled.
Matthew and I snuck a look at each other. I m not sure what he was
thinking, but I was thinking of that Middle Eastern restaurant we'd hit
up the first time I'd come to L.A.
So that is exactly what I suggested.

Matthew and I drove together as Joey took his own car. Throughout the
drive, Matthew s fingers were intertwined with mine. I knew we were
playing a dangerous game with Joey right behind us, but really, it s not
like he could see in the car. Still I questioned my sanity with agreeing
to this lunch. Matthew s fingers started moving over to my thigh lightly
brushing soft touches on my inner thigh that caused me to lose any
thoughts of Joey. Which is probably why he was doing this. I pushed
my head into the car seat, closed my eyes and allowed myself to get
transported to wherever Matthew wanted to take me. I heard a chuckle
as he seamlessly pulled into a parking spot. I d noticed that he d parked
beside Joey in a parking area.
Before shutting the car off, Matthew turned to me. "We really should
tell him, Charlie. He has every right to know what is going on with us."
I bit my lip, trying to come up with the words I knew wouldn t make
either man happy. "I know, Matthew, I really do. I just don t think Joey
is in the right frame of mind to accept a relationship between the two of
us right now." He held a hand up to interrupt me. "We both have to do
what is right by him. He s your boss and I know that he won t take it
lightly. Just hold off for now, okay?"
Separating ourselves, I exited the car with a deepened flush on my
face.
Thankfully, the restaurant was gloriously free of any cameras,
paparazzi, and annoying fans. There were a few people having lunch
and thankfully they kept to themselves. For a hole in the wall, the food
was remarkably good. I had the same thing I d had before, and Joey
went for the lamb kabobs with a yogurt sauce. Once I ordered the
falafel, I started to regret my food choice. I knew it would sit heavily in
my stomach.
Once we were all seated with food in front of us, we dug in in silence.
From time to time, I d catch Matthew looking at Joey as if he wanted to
confront him with something. Once Matthew would look my way, I d
shake my head slightly. We didn t need a meltdown in the middle of a
restaurant. Joey kept his eyes on his plate, not once looking up until he
grabbed his bottle of water to take a sip. But his shoulders were
hunched and tight, and I knew that something was going on with

him.
After wiping his chin, he set his drink down and spoke, "I m not sure
what's going on, here, but I feel like I'm the third wheel." Joey looked to
me. "Is there something going on between you two?"
I shook my head. "We re concerned for you, Joey. Matthew got you out
of your contract, but you need to be more even more focused and
clear-headed starting up your own record company. People will depend
on you to teach and show them the way."
I noticed Joey s hands were white knuckling the table, and his left knee
was bouncing erratically. Matthew leaned back and looked to be
waiting for something to happen. I know I was deflecting the original
question, but I just couldn t face Joey knowing that I was falling in love
with his best friend.
I looked at Matthew who had a passive look about him. If I was correct,
he was trying to come up with words to soothe Joey and yet, let him
know that he knew what was going on.
"I really appreciate your concern, Charlie. And I admit that I ve done
some really stupid things in the past. But I don t see how it s any of your
concern." He turned to me and came within inches of my face. "In fact,
I m not sure what you re still doing here. I m no longer with the label, so
your job should be done by now. So I'm kind of confused why my best
friend and my ex-girlfriend seem to be ever-so-friendly." Joey's face
started turning various shades of red. "So my question to the both of
you is this: What the fuck is going on?"
Matthew balled up his napkin and tossed it beside his plate. With hands
up in a placating motion, he gave Joey a hard look. "First of all, you don
t talk to her that way. She has worked above and beyond to help you get
your shit together. You don t treat her with any less respect that she
deserves."
Joey s eyes blazed with anger. "Since when do you care how Charlie is
treated? I remember you weren t Mr. Nice guy to her during high
school. In fact, I seem to recall you were constantly trying to get me to
dump her." he pushed a finger in my direction.
I took in several deep breaths. Matthew s hand squeezed my knee
below the table, but I could see his other hand was balling into a fist.

This lunch was going in the wrong direction quickly and I wasn't sure if
I was strong enough to just stop this charade with Matthew and just tell
Joey that I wanted to try out a relationship with Matthew. Before I
could even say a word, Joey was towering over us. Joey looked again
between Matthew and me and I could tell his anger was palpable.
"Are you two fucking each other?" Joey shot at us with a bitter laugh.
I set my fork down quietly and stared at Joey. From the corner of my
eye, I could see Matthew seething from Joey s tone. I m pretty sure
Joey got his answer when I closed my eyes and inhaled a deep breath to
slow my erratic heart.
"I don't fucking believe this. My girl and my fucking best friend?"
Joey started pushing away from the table, when I finally spoke. "I
haven t been your girl for a long time, and what goes on in my life is
really none of your business anymore. You decided that when you
started cheating on me."
"So this is it, I guess?" Joey asked.
Matthew answered before I could. "This is what, Joe?"
Joey ignored him still staring at me. "As we re no longer associated
with the record label, I guess your business with me is over, right?
Shouldn't you be heading back to Phoenix, where you belong?" The
sneer in his voice and the look on his face made it appear that I was the
last person in the world he wanted to be around. Matthew forcefully
stood from the table.
"It s not so cut and dry, Joey," Matthew interrupted while he looked
down at me and gave me a small grin. "I m thinking of bringing Charlie
along with us. Hiring her as a permanent rep. for the new label."
Joey snickered out loud, while I shot a shocked look at Matthew. We
hadn t discussed anything like this, and he knew I didn t like being
blindsided. Although, watching Joey laugh without humor hurt my
heart.
Looking at the irony of the whole picture, blindsided-ness seemed to be
the theme today at lunch.
"I can't leave my job with my dad, Matthew."
Matthew looked down at me. "It s just a thought I had percolating in my
head. Let s just talk things through before we make a permanent

decision."
Joey s eyes narrowed as he heard Matthew s murmurs. "What makes
you think I want her along?" It was the scorn that everyone in the
restaurant heard. People stopped eating, watching our table intently. I d
hoped nobody recognized Joey. I really didn't need another press mess
on my hands. I d been crumbling my napkin in my hands, and it was
nearly a tattered mess. "So was this the plan all along, Matty? You d
steal my girl from me and then we d all live happily ever after? Is this
what you thought?"
"First of all, this discussion is over. I m not discussing anything that
goes on between me and Charlie. Second, she is not your girl anymore.
That ship sailed. So get a grip on reality as we see it. Not what you see."
Matthew's voice was deadly quiet, but I could tell the two guys were
sizing each other up, and, I didn t need a full-on fight to happen.
"The two of you are being ridiculous. I don't belong to anyone, and I'm
not anyone's girl. So if you two want to punch each other silly, then go
right ahead, but I'm leaving." I tossed the tattered napkin on the table
and walked out of the restaurant before any more of a scene happened.
I knew that this was going to be a mess, and although my feelings for
Matthew were deep, knowing that I was hurting Joey hurt me, as well.
We d always had a good relationship prior to his cheating. It was never
my intention to do something like this.
I stood outside after calling a cab to pick me up. Within minutes of my
leaving the restaurant, Joey bounded out practically knocking me over,
yet he said nothing and continued down the street. Matthew was just
behind him.
"Well that went well." He chuckled
I rolled my eyes as I pushed on his chest. "Matthew, it wasn t supposed
to happen this way." I cried. "He'll be fine, Charlie."
"I'm not so sure about that," I muttered. "There's my cab." I started to
move as Matthew grabbed my elbow, twisting me to him, but I stopped
him from speaking. "I need to be alone and think about things,
Matthew." I could tell he wasn't happy I was leaving, but I really did
need to sort out my thoughts and figure out a way to ease Joey into my

relationship with Matthew.

t w e n t y - e i g h t
Since leaving the restaurant a few days ago, we hadn t heard from Joey.
It was like he just disappeared into thin air. Matthew had called around
his house, and I checked the bar that he frequented. I d even tried Clara,
but she hadn t heard from him since the concert. To say I was overly
concerned would be an understatement. I was scared for Joey.
I was still trying to mend fences with the record label and my dad, but I
was failing miserably in that. Dad yelled and shouted at me through the
phone as I tried to explain the situation that Joey was missing, I wasn t
going anywhere. Both Matthew and I had tried every contact we had to
try to find him, but when he didn t want to be found, he made sure no
one knew where he was.
"What if he left the country?" I asked as I walked into Matthew s office.
"Morning to you too, Charlie," he quipped.
I plopped down into the chair in front of his desk. Between the two of
us, and the bags under our eyes, we hadn t been getting much sleep.
Matthew took a sip of his coffee while I salivated at it. Should ve
stopped to get coffee before coming in. He watched me with humor as I
licked my lips while staring at his coffee.
"Did you want a sip?" he held the mug out to me. Taunting me.
"No, thank you. You put sugar in your coffee."
As he set the cup down, I could see the frown lines furrowing his brow.
"Why do you think he left the country?"
"Where else could he have gone? We ve searched high and low, up and
down California, and he s not here. He s not back in Phoenix. It s the
only thing I could come up with."
Matthew nodded his head. "I m not saying that it s not possible,

but I really think he s here just laying low. He ll come out of his rabbit
hole when he wants to. He needs time to think." He looked at me
pointedly when he said that last line. I knew Joey needed time to
process everything. But I was still allowed to worry considering he
could be a walking time bomb when he wanted. "As for thinking, have
you been
thinking?"
This time he d gotten up from behind his desk and walked to where I
was sitting. Offering me his hand, he pulled me against him. I could
feel every hard plane of his chest. My softness against his hardness. His
lips nuzzled my neck as an unwanted moan escaped from me.
"I burn for you, Charlie. One night with you was not enough. I need
more." The passion burned in his eyes as he lowered his mouth to greet
mine. Like the greedy person I was, I accepted him wholly. No
pretenses. Our tongues stroked each other erotically. I found myself
falling into the abyss that was Matthew, and I didn t want to climb out
without him.
His lips trailed longingly down my neck to my shoulders, stopping just
above my breasts which were heaving as if I was being held captive by
a very gorgeous, very sexual pirate. Matthew s darkened look was
devouring me from head to toe. His hands were tightly on my hips, his
swollen erection painfully stabbing into my belly. I could ve told him
that he was melting the panties right off me, but we couldn t go that far
in here. Too many people around and well, it was just a no.
"Matthew, we have to stop," I said softly as he was kneeling down to
kiss my stomach.
He looked up at me with pleading eyes. I knew what he wanted, and
yes, yes, I wanted it too. But not here. Not this way. I shook my head
and backed slowly away.
"I m going to have the biggest fucking erection all day long today
because of you," he said as he tried to straighten himself in his pants.
Matthew ran both hands down either side of my hair to my shoulders
until he reached my hands and held them lovingly in his. "What the hell
are you doing to me," he said as he brought my hands to his lips.
"I m sorry?"
He chuckled, but still held fast to me. "Come home with me

tonight, Charlie. Let me love you the way you deserve to be loved."
I closed my eyes and tried to forget what it was like in Matthew s bed.
How he knew exactly what I needed and when. He played my body like
a finely tuned instrument, and I thrummed with desire.
Instead of a moan, I groaned. "We can t, Matthew. It s not fair to him."
I saw the desire he felt for me completely turn to darkness, and he
dropped my hands unceremoniously. He walked to the window looking
outside at the busy street below.
"Dammit, Charlie. I need you and I know that you need me just as
much." He raked his hands through his hair so it was standing on end.
Yet, it only added to the sexy allure he radiated all the freaking time. I
came up behind him and wrapped my arms around his waist.
Leaning into his back, I said, "Matthew, I want you so badly, I can taste
it. But we have to be sensible. We've already hurt him once; I don't
want to do anything else that will push him over that precarious edge he
s on."
I smoothed my hands up and down his back, grabbing his shoulders to
turn him around. My hands found their way to his face, and I stood on
tiptoes to give him a lingering kiss on the lips. "We ll figure this out. I
know we will."
Matthew wrapped me up into his arms. "I know, baby. I know, but it s
driving me crazy not having you in my bed, in my life, my world. I'm at
peace when I'm with you."
My focus for the rest of the day was shot to hell. With Matthew down
the hall and my lustful thoughts invading my thoughts constantly, I
didn t get anything productive done. Tapping my pen against the desk
was the only thing holding me together and stopping me from sexually
assaulting Matthew. He d known exactly what he was doing in his

office, and I was suffering the consequences.
A few hours of staring at the wall, and my phone thankfully rang. "This
is Charlie."
The sound on the other end was tinny and was breaking up. "Charlie, it
s Clara," she said on the tinny end. My eyebrows shot up when she gave
me her name. She was the last person I expected.
"Hey, Clara, what's up?"
"I think I found what you're missing?" She sounded a bit frustrated
now. I could hear her talk to someone on her end, but couldn t quite
make out what was being said.
"You found Joey?" I cried.
"Well, he kinda found me. He s in really bad shape. He s in the break
room at the record store and, I didn t know who else to call and didn t
have Matthew s number."
"No, no. That s fine. Matthew and I will come right away. When you
say bad shape? What exactly do you mean?"
I heard her take a deep breath and sigh, loudly. "Completely plastered.
Not sure if he s got something else going on, but he was scaring my
customers. I almost called the cops on him, but figured something must
be going on for him to be this way and to shop up here."
I nodded my head to no one. "Clara, I can t thank you enough for not
calling the cops. I ll get Matthew, and we ll come and get him. Can you
give him some water or coffee?"
"Yeah, we ve already been on that. Trying to get some food into him,
too."
I knew I liked Clara. Once I hung up with her, I hightailed it down to
Matthew s office. His door wasn t shut all the way, but I could hear that
he was on the phone. I knocked one and stuck my head in. Waving his
fingers, I softly entered the office and sat down.
Matthew s voice was terse and cold. He was talking to someone, and he
wasn t happy about it. Thankfully, I didn t have to wait long for him to
end the call.
"Clara has Joey."
Matthew twisted his lips to my news. "Okay..." he drawled.

I rubbed my forehead, trying to stop the headache that was slowly
forming. "He s drunk and was scaring off her customers. We have to go
get him."
"Shit," Matthew said as he scrubbed his hands over his face. I just
nodded my head. I knew exactly what he was feeling because I felt the
same way. "Well, let's get going." Matthew grabbed his keys from the
desk and tucked his wallet into his jeans. As hard as it was, I tried to not
look at his ass, but I failed.

oiiajite/is
t w e n t y n i n e
In the break room of the Hi-Fi Record Shoppe there was a small
loveseat. On that loveseat was an overgrown, extremely smelly - drunk.
There was a wastebasket filled with toxic waste at the head of it. I could
barely stay in the room for the stench.
"Sorry, it s bad. I didn t know what to do, and I was minutes from
calling an ambulance for him. He s been muttering things, but I can t
understand a word," Clara said softly, biting on her thumbnail. Not
looking at Matthew or me, her focus was all for Joey.
Matthew rubbed his forehead. "It's never been quite as bad as this.
Thank you, Clara for everything, we both appreciate this." Matthew
pointed to the both of us before he stepped outside to make a call.
Because of the stench, both Clara and I followed.
I stopped Clara from following Matthew. "You care for him." It was
more of a pronouncement than a question.
Clara laughed softly. "He s a good guy and a good friend. I ve had
friends like that, and he s hurting. I m not sure what is going on
between the three of you, but Joey is hurting. Badly."
I frowned slightly at her words. "Clara, I m not sure what to do or how
to handle this."
She nodded her head. "Maybe it's time to make that clean break. He s
done with his label?" I was surprised that she knew about that and
wondered just how much Joey had told her. "Your job here is done?"
she turned her head toward Matthew who started walking toward us.
"He s the reason you re still here?"
I turned toward Matthew, and the effect he had on me was immediate.
My body zinged as he came closer. He looked bereft, but maybe a tiny
bit hopeful.

Matthew s shadow fell on Clara, and she looked up at him. I knew she
could see the sexual energy between the two of us. "I ve called a car to
get him home." He handed me the keys to his car. "I'll go with him, you
take my car and get yourself back to the hotel. Okay?" he leaned down,
grazed my ear sensually, and whispered, "I ll get him settled and
sobered up, and I ll come back to you, okay?"
"Yeah, sure. No problem. You re sure you don t want me to go with
you?"
He shook his head. "No, help Clara and just go back to the hotel. I have
everything under control." I just nodded, then turned back to Clara who
was watching the two of us closely. Matthew surprised me and kissed
my forehead he lingered more than was necessary.
"Well I guess that explains it," Clara said as Matthew went back to
Joey.
"It wasn't supposed to happen!" I blurted out. "I never wanted to upset
Joey."
"Regardless of what you wanted to happen, it did, and that man in there
is a mess. Charlie, is this really what you want? I thought we were
becoming friends, but I'm starting to question that. Did you honestly
think falling in love with his best friend was going to go over well with
him? Jesus, even I could tell he still loved you. Maybe not the same as
when you two were younger, but I could still see it all the same."
I looked at Clara, I mean really looked at her and realized that she didn
t just care for him, she was also falling in love with him. "I m sorry,
Clara. If I could change how things happened within the past month, I
would?" I hiked up my purse on my shoulder holding on to the strap for
strength. "I too have eyes, and I see you have very deep feelings for
Joey, but calling me out on my relationship with Matthew and Joey is
really none of your business." I turned on my heel and headed out the
front door.
I sat in the truck for a while trying to calm down my already shot
nerves. Clara was right that we were not taking Joey s feelings into
consideration, but I wanted that train to pass already. We hadn t been in
a relationship or hell, a friendship, in over three years. Was I not
allowed to have a life outside of him? He couldn't be my whole life
forever.

I finally started the truck and drove to the hotel in a mindless funk. I
would have to talk to Matthew and make a decision that wouldn t hurt
everyone involved. By the time I parked in the lot behind the hotel, my
head was pounding and I just wanted to take a very hot shower and lie
in bed shutting out the world for a bit. I could do that, couldn t I?
I'm not sure how long I slept for, but the room was completely dark
when a knocking on the door woke me up. I was groggy and
dry-mouthed. A terrible combination at the best of times. I didn t even
bother to look in the mirror to see how badly I looked. I just went to the
door and opened it. Never even turned on a light.
Matthew gave me his one-sided grin as I opened the door fully to allow
him in.
"I woke you?" he took my hand and pulled toward the bed I just left.
The covers were a mangled mess, so my nap wasn t very restful. He
pulled off his shoes and scooted over to the right side of the bed while I
sat on the left side.
"How's Joey?" I asked thickly.
"He s fine, Charlie. He s a big boy, and Clara showed up after he called
her to apologize. I think something is going on between the two of
them." I turned to look at him, as he shrugged his shoulders.
"Yeah, I picked up on that earlier. After she reamed me a new one for
being with you."
He flicked his hand in the air. "Honestly, Charlie, right now it s water
under the bridge. Joey now knows about us, so we don t have to keep it
quiet anymore."
I laid down on my left side, placing my left arm under the pillow that
was cradling my head. "It s not that simple, Matthew. You saw what
this did to him. We can t just flaunt this relationship in front of him

because he now knows. That s not fair to him."
He rested his hand on his head as he craned his neck toward me. "What
are you saying, Charlie?"
I took a long breath in and exhaled it out slowly. "I m saying that I need
to get back to Phoenix. Joey was right when he said I had no reason to
be here anymore. You two are setting up your own label a n d . "
He interrupted me. "I want you to come along with us. I can pay you
double what your father is paying you."
I shook my head. "Matthew, that is not the point. The point is my being
around Joey is a problem. I m not sure we should take this relationship
any further."
"Bullshit, Charlie! " he fully sat upright. "You re doing this because
you re afraid of hurting his feelings or because you don t want to admit
to your feelings. We made love, Charlie. We didn t fuck. We didn t
have sex. You felt that connection as much as I did, and I m not willing
to walk away." He stood up, quietly pulled his shoes back on, and
huffed out of the room, leaving me to wonder what the hell just
happened.
But the irony of that statement was he did just that. He walked away
from me.
"Daddy, I'm ready to come home."
He sighed on his end of the phone. I wasn't a failure. I did the job I was
hired to do. Now that Joey wasn t attached to the label, I could go back
to my apartment, my dog, and my boring job at the office where I d be
surrounded by people who couldn t confuse my feelings or use them
against me.
"I ll have Janice look up flights tomorrow for you to come home. It s
late now. Are you okay?" he said.
I tried to hold back a sob, "I m okay, Daddy. It s just been a long

month, and I m ready to come home. How s my Paco?" Dad went on
about mom and the dog and how he didn t think Paco would want to
come back home with me. Figures, another man who d want to
abandon me in my time of need. Sometimes I felt like Typhoid Mary.
How I managed to push people away from me was something I d have
to think long and hard about.
"I ll have Janice email your itinerary to you. Andrew s desperate to get
you back to the office. He's been moping." I chuckled.
"He just wants someone to knock around. He knows you re not that
person, so his daughter is perfect bait." Dad laughed at that, told me he
loved me, and hung up the phone.
Today really turned into the suckiest day ever.
I grabbed my suitcases and started throwing things in, not caring if they
got wrinkled. I just wanted to be done with L.A. and everyone in it. I'd
had a bottle of wine sent up to help alleviate the thoughts running
through my head. Well, I was hoping it would. But all it did was make
me frustrated and want to call Matthew and beg him to come to me.
I sat at the table that Matthew and I ate at, looked around the room
—and even though he wasn't here— he filled every damn space and
crevice. I was deep in thought when a pounding knock on my door
woke me from my memories.
I startled, spilling wine and cursing. I walked briskly to the door and
opened it. Matthew stood there huffing and puffing. Before I could say
a word, he pushed the door open, slammed it closed with his foot and
grabbed my cheeks, pulling my mouth to his, crashing his lips to mine.
I felt momentarily blinded by the lust and the surprise of his being her.
"I sat down in the hotel bar nursing a whiskey for three hours before I
got the courage to come up here and do that. I don t just want you,
Charlie, but I fucking need you in my life. You might think this was a
brief affair, but to me, you're everything." He continued kissing me in
between his words.
I was at a loss, and surprised, he came back to make such bold
statements, and my heart was fluttering like a butterfly in my chest.
"What do you want from me, Charlie? Tell me and I ll give you the
whole world." He moved his lips from mine and started leaving tiny

kisses on my pulse points on my neck. A moan and a groan and I could
feel his excitement growing exponentially. I brought my hand to cup
his erection through his jeans.
"I don t want anything from you, Matthew," I whispered. "Tell me
anything, sweetheart." I squeezed his erection so slightly his groan
caused me to drip into my silk panties. One hand at the back of my head
kept me close to his mouth while the other skimmed and kneaded my
ass. I knew exactly what I wanted but was also afraid to tell him.
I closed my eyes as his assault on my neck continued to get me
extremely horny. I knew in another minute my clothes would come
flying off and we d be making love.
And that s when it hit me. I was totally and madly, completely off my
rocker in love with this man. I forcefully pushed myself back from him.
I was panting so heavily I thought I might pass out.
I looked at him, he too was panting hard. I bit my lip and slowly
stepped backward. One step, two, three. I pulled my shirt off. Another
step back and I shimmied my yoga pants off. I stood directly in front of
the bed in just my lace bra and panties.
"Matthew, for all that is good and holy, I need you to make love to me."
In what seemed like a single bound, Matthew was at me and on top of
me, pushing me back into the bed. He was still fully clothed, but I didn
t care, because the look in his eyes told me everything I needed to
know. Tonight he would be making love to me.

t h i r t y
Matthew was deliberate in his lovemaking. He took his time exploring
my body and loving every inch of me. We tangled with each other in
every position possible. He caressed me, petted me, and brought me to
the edge of ecstasy all night long. He licked, nipped, bit and brought me
to such peace I wasn t sure if I was still on this planet. I didn t feel
grounded by gravity because I was floating so high just from his
fingers, his lips, and finally his cock. As soon as he entered me, I cried
out in a furious passion.
He just looked down at me and didn t say a word. He didn t need to as I
saw everything in those expressive eyes. I felt him pulse inside of me,
but he still didn t move. He filled me deep and full, that he didn t need
to do anything. I lifted my butt up and wrapped my legs around his
waist. I brought my fingers to his lips and he licked each one
separately. Ever so slowly, he started to move inside me, and I could
feel every inch of him. I skimmed the back of his neck with my fingers,
playing with the sweaty curls that popped up.
"Baby, you feel so fucking good," while all I could do was grunt in
response. He started picking up the pace placing both hands under my
ass to lift me up just a bit higher. It was amazing, and I didn t want him
to stop. I could feel every breath and breeze on my body. I was so in
tune with him. I had never ever felt this way before. I knew making
love to Joey was never this transcendental. I wasn t exactly sure what I
was feeling, but this feeling completely and totally shattered me into a
million and one pieces. Matthew was there to pick up those pieces with
his soft words and blazing kisses. He continued moving in and out of
me, asking if I was getting close. "Together, Charlie?" I dipped my
head in response.

I could feel my walls tighten around him, loving him and trying to
squeeze every ounce of love out of him. With one swift push, I felt my
orgasm tip over and watched as Matthew followed me. It was the most
beautiful sight. I trailed my fingers down his sweaty brow, catching the
sweat before it went into his eye. The both of us were a sweaty mess
and I felt even more invigorated. Matthew continued pulsing inside of
me causing after quakes for the both of us. Looking at each other, we
both laughed. He took care to pull out slowly. My pussy still pulsating
on him. Pulling off the condom, he tied it off and tossed into the trash
bin beside the bed.
"I love you, Charlie," he pulled me closer to him as he continued his
ministrations to bring me down from the ether space he brought me to.
Our love making was intense, beautiful and something I knew I
wouldn't be able to live without on a long-term basis. I found myself
thinking of being with him long-term which was shocking.
I knew he was expecting me to say it back to him, and I wanted to, I
really did. Finding yourself at a crossroads in life at the tender age of
twenty-three wasn t exactly where I wanted to be, so I snuggled closer
to him while breathing in his scent of whiskey, soap and sex. A
combination too sexy to ignore. Matthew s arms pulled tighter around
me, and God this was feeling so good. I knew I could sleep peacefully
this way. His light breathing tickled the back of my neck as we settled
so closely together you couldn t tell where I started and he ended.
I could give everything up for this man who I hated for so long. I
thought of his offer to come aboard his new label, leaving my father s
employ, simply doing what I wanted and not being considered Dad s
daughter, but then I realized, I d be Matthew s lover, plaything, love
toy, or that I got the job because I was sleeping with the boss. Going
home was the best decision I could make without having the temptation
of Matthew confusing my thoughts.

I woke up sweaty and sticky with a heavy man on top of me. I quietly
tried to push him off of me so I could go to the bathroom. I needed to
pee and shower. I smelled like wine, sweat, sex and Matthew. Although
the last one wasn t necessarily a bad thing. Matthew groaned slightly
but still stayed asleep. I picked up my phone to check the time and
realized it was late morning. We definitely slept in on a workday. I
wondered what Debbi was thinking with the both of us not in the office.
I also noticed the envelope on the phone alerting me to an email.
Opening it up, I wasn t surprised to see that it was from Janice. My dad
s assistant. It contained my flight information. Looking over it, I had
twenty-four hours to get everything settled here. What I really wanted
was to check on Joey and make sure we were okay. I couldn t leave
knowing he was angry with me at all.
I grabbed some clothes from the drawer, walked into the bathroom and
took care of business. By the time I left the bathroom, Matthew was
sitting up on the bed bare-chested with a sheet covering his very happy
erection. I smiled at him as I put my hair up into a messy bun.
"What are the plans for today?" he asked, noticing that I was
completely dressed in work clothes.
"Well it s late, and we both need to get into the office and I need to
settle up some things here."
"And what about Mr. Happy?" he nodded to his protruding cock. I
shook my head and continued about the room.
"He needs to go to work and not play all day." I put a hand on my hip.
"Aren t you exhausted?"
"Nope," he popped the 'p'. He continued to look at me with lust-filled
eyes, and I needed to keep him at bay.
"Why don t you shower, and I ll order up some coffee, sound good?" I
hoped he d agree with me, but he was lazily rubbing his hand up and
down his cock. It was getting harder to make a coherent thought when
he did that. Shaking my head, as I tried to erase the erotic scene before
me, I picked up the hotel phone and buzzed for room service. I arranged
for some toast and English muffins as well. "They ll be here in

a few, get in the shower, now," I ordered.
"Charlie, is there a problem with us?" he asked getting out of bed buck
naked, Mr. Happy still standing at full mast.
"Not at all, Matthew. We need to get to work, and I want to check in on
Joey."
Matthew stretched his arms above his head. "Charlie, he s fine. I told
you Clara was with him. Most likely, he got some once he sobered
up."
I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. This was not a visual I wanted
to see. "Matthew, now you re just pissing me off. Get in the shower and
think about what you say before you blurt out from that pie hole of
yours."
He grimaced, "Just speaking the truth, babe."
Once he finally went into the bathroom I released the breath I was
holding. I wasn t sure how I would break it to Matthew that I was
leaving in the morning. He d be pissed and probably think I was
running away from him. But dammit, I wasn t. As much as I wanted to
stay and help him and Joey transition. I just wasn t the person for the
job.
While he was showering, the food came, and I made myself a plate of
English muffin and poured a coffee. I didn t realize how hungry I was
until I put the food into my mouth. Living on just wine and sex really
wasn t the healthiest lifestyle. Matthew came out wearing the clothes
he had on last night and I couldn t help but giggle. This time he would
be making the walk of shame.
He sat down opposite me and made himself some toast and coffee. He
slathered strawberry jam on his toast so you couldn t even see the bread
anymore. I wasn t sure what he did to keep his body in the shape it was,
but the way I saw him eat you would ve thought he d weight nearly
three-hundred pounds.
"Tasty?" I asked.
He spoke with food in his mouth. "Delicious."
I took a sip of my coffee watching him destroy the toast. I realized then
that he probably didn t have any dinner either. We made love and
promptly fell asleep, for hours.
"I m going to cab it to the office so you can go home and get

dressed." I looked toward the door trying to make my escape.
"That's fine. Is there anything imminent you need to take care of?" He
wiped his hands on the cloth napkin, leaving stains of butter and jam.
"A few things. You okay to finish up here by yourself?
"Anxious to get away from me, babe?" he leaned both elbows on the
table resting his chin on his clasped hands.
"That s ridiculous, I ll see you in about an hour, right? I just want to
check on things."
"Joey, being that thing? Are you jealous that Clara might ve spent the
night?" he challenged me.
I huffed angrily, "Of course, not. I just want to see how he is. Is this for
any reason bothering you?"
"Not at all. I m just wondering why girl wants to run away after a night
of making love?"
"Matt, I'm not running away." I was totally running away. "I just have
work to do."
He flung his hand toward the door. "Go, go. I ll see you soon. And we ll
discuss where we go from here, understand?" His grave look told me
everything.
I nodded my head and hightailed it out the door. It was a conversation
that I needed to prep myself for.
Debbi greeted me at the desk. "Hey, Charlie. I thought you d come in
with Matthew?"
"Why would you think that?" she took me by surprise, and I sounder
harder than I wanted to.
She looked at me sideways. "No reason, just that you two have been
spending a lot of time together."
"Yes, I guess we have been. He should be here shortly. I decided to cab
it today. Any messages?" I asked.
"Just your dad, he wants you to call him immediately. Andrew called
too, but he didn t leave a message."
"Thank you, Debbi and I m sorry if I was short earlier. I m just under
some stress. I'll call my dad. Let me know when Matthew finally
arrives?" She handed me the one message, that I promptly crumpled
into my hand. Talking to Dad was another conversation I didn t want to
have

and I had no reason why Andrew was calling me.
I opened the door to my office and immediately sat down to start up my
computer. I was drumming my fingers as the familiar jingle blared
from the speakers. First thing I did was go over the flight information.
I'd have to check out of the hotel early and wanted to make sure
everything was squared up with them.
I picked up the phone, intending to call my Dad, but instead dialed
Joey's mobile. It rang for a while before it connected to a groggy voice.
Thankfully, it was a man's voice.
"Joey?" I breathed.
"Yeah, Charlie?" he cleared his throat a few times before I continued
on.
"Are you okay?"
"I'm fine, Charlie. Went on a bender. You know, typical rockstar
arrogance. Not sure how I got to the record store, but Clara told me I
have you to thank for this not getting out to the press."
I pinched the bridge of my nose. "It was all her, really. She kept you in
the back. Thankfully the store wasn t that busy then and she was there.
I think she handled you better than I ever could."
He cleared his throat again. "I'm still sorry you had to see that."
"I know, Joey. I do know."
"So you and Matthew? Wonder how I didn't see that happening." I
wasn t sure what he was doing, but he was moving around and making
some noise.
"Do you really want to discuss this, Joe?"
He barked a sad laugh, "Yeah, no. Don t want to know the dirty details.
Although I remember what you were like in bed. I guess I m just trying
to wrap my head around it."
"Joey," I uttered sadly, "We never meant to hurt you. I never expected
anything like this to happen. Jesus, I really didn't want to have this talk
over the damn phone," I mumbled.
"Yeah, well, you called. What other conversation would we have? You
ve fallen for the guy that you swore when you got older you d never be
in the same 'fucking room with him' so imagine my surprise when I find
out he s fucking the best thing to ever happen to me," he growled

into the phone.
I closed my eyes trying to keep the tears at bay. I knocked my head
against the headrest several times trying not let him know how he was
affecting me.
"Joey," I said softly, "you know I love you, but I m no longer in love
with you."
"Yeah, you ve said that before," he said sadly. "Clara has been there for
you, no?" I lead.
"Yes, Charlie, she s been there." He didn t continue on about her and I
didn t want to come across as nosey, either. "So are you sticking around
to help the new label?"
I was about to tell him my plans, but realized I really needed to tell
Matthew first. "I haven t decided," I lied.
"It wouldn t bother me if you stayed on. I mean, it d be uncomfortable
at first, but I could do my best to live with this."
"Well, that's quite magnanimous of you," I joked. "But I need to do
some things first. Are you sure you re going to be okay?"
I could hear him sigh into the phone. "Yes, Charlotte, I ll be fine."
I smiled. I knew he couldn t see it, but it made me feel better. I was
really hoping he d stick with Matthew and not let this break up a
long-time friendship and partnership between the two.
"Thank you, Joey. Really, thank you."
"No problem. I'll talk to you later." We ended the call. I went to the
break room for some water and coffee. My head was suddenly
pounding.

t h i r t y - o n e
It was midafternoon and Debbi still hadn t let me know that Matthew
had arrived. I wasn t sure what was going on and decided to stretch my
legs and walk out the main foyer where she sat.
"Still nothing?" I asked
She shook her head, "Nothing. I haven t heard from him at all."
I just nodded my head and walked back to my office. I really wasn t
sure what the hell was going on him. At about four-thirty, Debbi called
to let me know that Matthew was finally in the building and heading to
his office.
I cut him off midstride. "Where the hell have you been?" I whisper
shouted.
He walked around me and continued on to his office. He unlocked the
door and ushered me in.
"I was thinking, Charlie. I was thinking how I laid out my feelings for
you last night, and you practically ran out on me. I was thinking that
maybe you don t feel the same way that I feel for you."
"Are you drunk?" I barked.
"No, Charlie, you haven t quite caused me to start drinking, yet." "What
the hell is going on with you?
"How about we back up a step, okay?" I nodded my head. He wrapped
his hands around his head. "Did you have something you wanted to tell
me?
"I'm not sure what you mean? I talked to Joey..."
His eyebrow shot up at me. "No darling, I know you talked to Joey,
because I talked to Joey, as well."
I bit my lip. I wasn t sure where he was going with this. "I m sorry, I m
not sure... "

"Dammit, Charlie," he yelled loudly. He turned his back toward me
starting out the window. "Did you have your father book a flight for
you to go home tomorrow?"
I gasped in shock, "How did you know?"
"Because, Charlie, I talked to your dad about bringing you on here. I
talked to him about buying you out of your contract with him and
bringing you here long term!" He pounded on the window.
I opened my mouth, but shut it immediately. He finally turned around
to look at me.
"Imagine his surprise when I told him that I d fallen in love with his
daughter and I wanted to bring her on to the label full time. But then he
shocked the shit out of me when he informed me that you were booked
on the first flight out of goddamn LAX tomorrow fucking morning! "
I could see the spittle flying from his mouth. I don t think I ve ever seen
him so angry before. His eyes were livid and his body was a tight coil
of nerves.
"The woman I told I loved didn t even have the courtesy to tell me that
she was leaving."
I looked down at my folded hands on my lap. "I was waiting for the best
time," I mentioned softly.
"There is no good time, Charlie! I m trying to keep Joey off the
goddamn ledge, and I m trying to keep you beside me."
"I just haven t come to a decision, yet, Matthew. You haven t really
given me any time to decide what I want. What is best for me," I
pounded my opened hand on my chest as I stood up. "You
automatically thought because we slept together that I would uproot
my life and do what you wanted? Misogynistic much? I have a life. Did
you even know that I have a dog at home? A condo that I pay for? A car
I have payments on. Friends that I've abandoned for the time I've been
here. Do you have any sense of what my life is like away from you?"
"Of course not, Charlie! I knew that you'd have to care of things back
home. But the courtesy would ve been reciprocated had you at least
told me you were leaving! I would ve given you time to make a
decision. Jesus, I'd give you the fucking world if you allowed me."

I just shook my head at his words. "Well, I don t need the world,
Matthew. I need to not feel like the afterthought of this arrangement
you and Joey have. I need to know that I m not going to be considered a
whore because I used to date Joey and I fell in love with you! "
This time his mouth opened and shut several times. "Who in their right
mind would think that, Charlie? Why would you even think that?"
"Because it s how I feel. I stomped on his heart coming here, and then
the two of us, it's just all wrong." I slumped back down into my chair.
Matthew took the steps toward me and kneeled down in front of me.
"He cheated on you, Charlie, repeatedly. Why do you think sent you
those emails! I was trying to protect your heart because I was so
flipping in love with you back then."
The tears started pooling in my eyes as I watched him. But wait a
minute, back up. I looked down at him with a furious slash to my
mouth.
"What do you mean you sent me the emails?" He suddenly stood up
and pushed away.
He raked a hand through his hair. "The ones of him constantly cheating
on you, Charlie. That was me. You needed to know what was going
while you were at school."
I stood up suddenly forcing the chair fall over backwards. One hand
cupped my mouth as my sobs that were threatening to spill over. I was
in shock. I couldn t believe the man standing in front of me is the
person who sent me those terrible emails all those years ago.
"I. I . " I couldn t seem to get the words out, I just looked at him,
turned around and ran out of the room. The tears were no longer held at
bay, they were streaming full and hot down my face. I could barely see
my way to my office. I could hear Matthew yelling for me as I finally
made it to my office. Slamming the door shut, I slid down and got lost
in my tears.
Matthew started pounding on the door, but I was ignoring him. I need
time to think and I couldn t deal with him right now. I could imagine
what Joey would think if he ever found. After five minutes of pounding
and calling my name he finally stopped and I could hear his heavy
footfalls move away from the door.

I called down to Debbi and asked her to give me the all-clear when it
was safe to go.
Debbi gave me the all-clear about forty-five minutes after Matthew left
my door. I was able to get a cab quickly and hightailed it back to the
hotel to finish packing. Tonight, I would ignore everything around me
and just take care of the barest minimum I needed to do.
I was completely exhausted from the day from hell, and, I swear as
soon as my head hit the pillow I was out like a light. It wasn t until I d
been asleep for at least six hours that the ringing of the hotel phone
wake me up. It didn t even have a normal ring it was more like an alarm
going
off.
"Hello?" I answered sleepily.
"Ms. Brown, this is the front desk. I have an emergency call, and they
ve asked to be transferred up to you. Is that okay?"
I rubbed my eyes wondering who the hell would be calling me. I looked
over at the time, four am.
"Yeah, sure. Do you know who it is?"
"No, ma am, they were very insistent that I send the call up to you. I'm
going to transfer it now."
Before I even had a chance to say thank you, I could hear crackling on
the other end.
"Hello?"
"Charlie?" The voice was breaking up. I could barely hear every other
word.
"Yes, who is this?" I leaned over and turned the light on. ". Hospital.
I m not sure. now! " It was Matthew. "Matthew? Matthew, I can
barely hear you?" I knew yelling into the phone wasn t making me hear
him. "You said hospital. That s all I

got."
"Charlie, get your ass to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center now!" The call
was disconnected, and I wasn t sure what the hell was going on.
"What the fuck!" I threw on a sports bra, tie-dyed t-shirt and a pair of
yoga pants. I called back down to the front to desk to see if there were
any taxis for me to take. Figures that there wasn t and they d call one for
me
The wait for the elevator was interminable. I was bouncing up and
down and wasn t sure what I would be walking into. When I finally
made it to the lobby, the doorman was right there telling my cab was
outside waiting. The ride to the hospital took about twenty minutes and
for twenty minutes my heart was racing a mile a minute. I was sure that
by the time I made it to the hospital, it would ve felt like I d run a
marathon.
The cab driver brought me to the emergency exit. I m not even sure
how much cash I threw at him, but he took it and drove away. I jogged
threw the electric doors going to the first open window I saw. There
was a bell so I rang it.
"Hello? Hello? Anyone here?"
The emergency room was eerily quiet. Finally, a nurse came out. "Can
I help you?"
"I was called to come down as soon as possible. I m not sure
why?" I huffed out.
"Um, do you have a name?"
"Matthew Johns called." She typed into the computer for a few
seconds. Frowning.
"I'm sorry but we don't have a Matthew Johns listed as a patient."
"Jesus Christ, he wouldn't just call me out of a sound sleep and tell me
to get down here if there wasn't a reason." I was tapping my hand on the
desk, clearly getting more agitated.
"I understand, miss. But there's nothing..." The bell of the elevator
rang, and Matthew took long strides out of the elevator. I walked away
from the nurse without saying anything.
Matthew s eyes were rimmed in red and he had growth on his chin and
his hollowed-out cheeks. I rushed up to him.

"What is going on?" I seethed.
Matthew pulled me away from the elevator bank and moved us to a
more secluded section of the emergency room. "There was a car
accident. Clara and Joey."
I clumsily sat down on the chairs that were there. "Omigod, Matthew,
please tell me they re both okay?"
As he sat down heavily beside me, he grabbed my hand. "Clara is okay.
Broken arm and collar bone. They were thankfully both wearing
seatbelts." I nodded in relief saying a silent prayer for Clara. "Joey was
more seriously injured. He s in surgery now. They couldn t tell me
much, but he s lost a lot a lot of blood, and they weren t sure what the
internal damage was. He was crushed by the steering wheel."
For the second time today I couldn t control the tears that poured down
my face. Matthew grabbed me to him and held me tightly. "Can we at
least see Clara?"
"She was in X-ray before I came down. They were going to keep her
overnight to make sure she doesn't have a concussion." I nodded again.
It was smart to keep her. She was probably in a lot of pain anyway.
"How did this happen, Matthew?" I asked more into his chest than to
him.
A dry, humorless chuckle came out of his mouth. "Drunk driver ran a
red light. Clara said they didn t have any alcohol, just coffee. They d
met up when she got off of work."
I was having a hard time believing things, but it all changed with the
next words Matthew uttered.
". doesn t look good," he said grimly.
"What do you mean it s not looking good, Matthew? Are you saying
that he may not survive this?"
Matthew robotically nodded his head. "The doctor that did speak to me
said that they were concerned about internal bleeding."
More tears leaked out. "Have," I hiccupped, "have his parents been
called?"
"I called them before I called you. We re arranging to get them here. I
ve pulled a few strings with some people. They re sending a

private jet to pick them up. They should be here shortly."
I grabbed Matthew tighter. "We can t lose him, Matthew. He doesn t
deserve this ending."
"I know, sweetheart. I know," he repeated over and over while
massaging the bottom of my scalp.
We were finally notified that Clara was back in her room and both
Matthew and I sat with her. She was a mess and couldn t stop crying.
"The driver just came at us so fast we both didn t even have time to
react." I kept handing her tissues. We'd heard the driver had minor
injuries, he was looked over by the doctors then taken directly to the
police station, hopefully to be booked. I sat on the bed with Clara
holding her close to me.
"Joey is strong, and he'll come out of this, I know it. I can feel it in my
bones."
She tried to nod, but the medicine they d given her to sleep was starting
to kick in. She needed to sleep. "Please don't leave. Stay and let me
know what happens with Joey, please." She held on to my hand tightly.
"We ll stay," I mentioned as I looked over at Matthew who dipped his
head automatically, not really listening to us. He was in his own world
trying to keep his emotions at bay. Every so often I'd see him wipe his
eyes surreptitiously.
It didn t take long for Joey s parents to arrive at the hospital, and once
they did, we put them in a conference room so the doctors could speak
to them privately. I d noticed from my news feed on Facebook and
Twitter that people were starting to hear about the car accident. TMZ
and other outlets from MTV News were outside waiting on news. I just
didn t have the wherewithal to make a statement.
I'd finally called my dad around six a.m. to tell him what was going on.
Even though it was Saturday morning, he d go into the office to head
off the multitude of calls he was expecting. My head was throbbing,
and we d still heard nothing from the doctors. I checked in on Clara a
few times. She was still sleeping, but didn t look peaceful.
Matthew was a zombie. His phone wouldn't stop buzzing. He'd look at
the caller and ignore the call. I really wanted him to silent it, but

this seemed to keep him sane. There were moments when I knew he
wanted to hit something or someone. I tried to keep everyone informed
and filled with coffee, but even that was getting annoying.
After forty-five minutes of just sitting around an oblong conference
table, a nurse came in. We all jumped up for information, scaring her.
"I m sorry there s still no news, but I wanted you to know that the
cafeteria is open if you wanted breakfast. They have a decent oatmeal
bar if any of you are hungry." I just looked at her as Joey's parents sat
back down sorrowfully.
I rubbed my tired eyes, "Thank you."
Claudia and Jim Carino kept their heads close together. We spoke a few
times, but I gathered they were praying for any help possible.
Matthew tapped my shoulder and indicated with his head to go outside
the room. I was grateful for it. The sorrow was too palpable and I need
to stretch my legs.
"I think you should speak to the press," his arms were crossed around
his chest.
I blinked a few times. "I really think we should hold off until we have
some concrete news, Matthew."
He pulled up a website, not a very reputable one, but one that shouted
loudly that Joey Carino had died in a fiery car accident.
"Jesus Christ, Matthew. How could anyone print that?"
"Leeches, scum, shall I go on?"
"No, I hear you loud and clear. I need to clean up. I m not exactly
dressed for a presser."
Matthew bent and kissed my forehead, tangling a stray piece of hair
that fell out of my ponytail. Probably from all the times I ran my hands
through it.
"You look gorgeous as always, Charlie. Just give a brief statement. I ll
be right beside you okay?"
I sniffed, "Sure, yeah." He grabbed onto my hand, cradling our fingers
together. I could feel the zing that I first felt when he touched me. Even
with everything that happened today, my feelings for him hadn t
changed. Yes, I was angry with him, but I was hopelessly in love with
him, as well.

I washed up in the bathroom and tried to smooth my hair back, but
there was nothing to do about the red eyes or the purple bags under
them. Security had moved the press to a location so they weren t
affecting normal business and it took us a while to walk to the area.
Matthew kept a strong hand on me.
As soon as I stood in front of them, the flash from the cameras became
blinding.
I took a deep breath, continued to hold onto Matthew for support.
"As you know, Joey Carino and Clara Walsh were brought in around
eleven p.m tonight. They were hit by an alleged drunk driver. Clara
sustained some minor injuries and is resting comfortable. They are only
keeping her for observation.
Joey Carino was more seriously injured and has been in surgery for
nearly seven hours. We have heard nothing, and as soon as we do, we
will inform you. Please do not create fake news in response to this
horrible accident. Like I said, Joey is currently in surgery and we ve
heard nothing."
As soon as I stepped away from the bank of mics, the noise started up,
questions were coming fast and furiously. I turned to Matthew asking
him if I could answer. With a quick shake of his head, we both made
our way back to the hospital.
I think we were all going crazy with no news from the doctors. The wait
was endless, and I'd finally managed to get a couple of cots brought
into the conference room for the Carinos to try to rest. I went back to
Clara s room once I knew they were settled. Matthew went in search for
decent coffee.
Clara was sitting up drinking water when I made it in. "Still nothing?"

I shrugged my shoulders, "No news is good news, right?"
"I'm not so sure, Charlie, you didn't see him. He looked lifeless when
they finally got us out of the car." She started crying all over again.
"Shh, Clara, everything will be okay." I said it but I really didn't mean
it. This surgery was taking forever. I stayed with her for about half hour
until she fell back to sleep.
As I made my way back to the conference room, I saw Matthew
running toward me. "What's going on," I cried? The look on his face
stopped me cold.
"The doctors are heading to the conference room. There is a dozen of
them."
Grabbing my hand, we ran toward the room and skidded to a stop just
as we heard a keening wail. Matthew and I burst into the conference
room to see Claudia inconsolable in her husband s arms. I turned to the
doctors and there was indeed twelve of them.
"Mr. Carino succumbed to his injuries at nine-twenty-three a.m. I'm
truly sorry for your loss."
I staggered against Matthew as the doctor told us that Joey was gone.
The both of us fell into a heap onto the floor, our grief getting the best
of us.

t h i r t y - t w o
Three months later
After the funeral Matthew and I went our separate ways. Sticking
around in L.A. was unbearable. Although, he did come to the funeral in
Phoenix, he left quickly after, and we didn't even have a chance to talk.
I missed talking to him, and I missed loving him. But with everything
that happened, I just couldn t deal with it.
I talked to Clara regularly. She was having a hard time with Joey s
death. I knew she had been developing feelings for him that would
never be realized and that made me sad for her. She was still being
hounded by the press, and I d been able to get someone to represent her
from a local public relations company in L.A. She originally wanted
me, but honestly, I was done with L.A.
The driver of the car pled no contest and got a few years in prison, but
he ll always live with the knowledge that he killed superstar, Joey
Carino. I really did try my best not to think of him. He was a nobody to
me. That he took Joey's life was a one-off mistake.
Mom and Dad were great with helping me deal with my grief. Mom
was a good friend of Claudia s so she was suffering just as much as I
was. Dad was concerned for his daughter. Thankfully, Paco was his
ever-loving self and gave me tons of wet drools and sloppy kisses. I d
missed him terribly while I was gone. It was so good to be back home.
Some of my friends came over with wine and vodka to help me deal
with my ongoing depression, and I loved them so hard for that.
Work was boring. I wasn't really doing much P.R. as I was putting

out fires for stupid low-level companies and their employees. Nothing
that required travel, but it kept my thoughts from thinking back to
Matthew.
I think everyone knew I was miserable without him. Even if my dad
refused to admit that I'd fallen in love with that 'asshole Johns' as he
referred to him.
Another weekend had gone by, and I was rushing into the office
building on Monday morning. I was late, tired, and cranky. As soon as
I made my way into my office, my dad was there waiting for me.
"Yes," I sighed.
"I need you to come into my office in thirty minutes, we have a few
things to discuss." He didn't say anything just turned on his heel and
left. I went down to the break room to make my coffee and get some
toast. Andrew was sitting at the table in there reading the morning
paper.
"Hey, Andrew," I offered.
"Hi, chicky," he smiled at me.
"Dad wants me to meet with him in a half hour. Any idea what this
about?" Andrew looked around the room, folded the paper, and set it
down.
"Can't say that I do. But you're his daughter so he could have a million
and one reasons for calling you in."
I blew on my hot coffee and buttered my toast. I sat down heavily. "I m
just not sure if I m capable of doing this job anymore, and I have a
feeling he senses that. Maybe I should just give him my resignation and
move on."
"Sweetie, I really don t think it s quite that serious. You ve had a rough
few months, and your work has been top-notch. You cannot keep
blaming yourself for Joey s death. Blame that on the driver who was
driving well above the legal alcohol limit."
"I miss him every day," I tried to continue, but the tears pooled in my
eyes and threatened to spill over.
"Of course you do, Charlie. He was your first real boyfriend. You loved
him. No one is saying that you don t miss him. We all know grief all too
well, and it s a sucker-punch in the gut."
I tried to smile through the tears, but couldn t. Andrew pulled out a

handkerchief and handed it to me. "I didn t think people actually
carried these anymore."
"I m British, of course I carry these bloody things. How do you think I
meet women?" he chuckled.
"Really?" I tried not to snort, but failed miserable. We both started
laughing. I d forgotten how nice it was to laugh. "Well it s time to slay
the giant, and don't even think of telling Dad I said that, Andrew!" He
made a zip my lips sign and waved me away.
I stopped back into my office to grab my iPad and pen and paper. I
knocked on his door and didn t wait for him to answer, just barged in.
"I'm sorry I'm early..." I trailed off as I saw who was sitting in one of
the club chairs across from my father. Matthew.
"What s going on?" I looked between the two men. Matthew was
wearing a suit. One that I hadn't seen before. It was definitely a bespoke
blue pinstriped Armani or Tom Ford. He definitely liked his name
brands when it came to his suits.
"Charlie, have a seat," my father said, indicating the empty club
chair.
I sat down quietly waiting for someone to start talking. I turned to
Matthew and noticed he was staring at me. I felt uncomfortable with
the amount of heat I saw in his eyes. I guess it was good that he still had
some feelings for me.
"Well," my dad started, "as introductions are not necessary why don t
we get down to business. Matthew, why don t you continue."
Matthew took a deep breath and physically turned his body toward me,
effectively shutting my dad out of the conversation. He raked his eyes
down my body before starting.
"I was talking to your father about a lack of will that Joey left," he
cleared his throat, I didn t realize he was this nervous talking to me
especially in my dad s presence. "Because there was no will the
company we were starting up reverts automatically to me, but I can t do
it on my own. So I came to your father for some help." He twisted his
head to my dad who just told him to continue on. Matthew nodded his
head. "We discussed bringing you on as head of A&R."
I m not sure what I d just heard, but my mouth was wide open, and

I stared daggers at my dad. "I know nothing about that! I wouldn t even
know what to do! "
"That s not entirely true. Joey took you to listen to some new bands and
you had quite a few interesting things to say. The one thing Joey did
leave was a notebook of ideas and things that you said in particular. He
thought you looked at this with fresh eyes."
"It wouldn't work. I can't go back to L.A."
"No, sweetheart, you wouldn't have to. I ' m coming back to Phoenix.
We can create the company here. Most artists record around the world.
It doesn't matter where HQ is."
I turned back to my dad. "You re okay with this?"
"Well, I obviously don t want to lose a valuable employee, but I think
and you realize that you haven't been happy here since you came back."
I went to open my mouth, but Dad interrupted. "Charlie, this is your
decision, and no one is telling you what to do. But I think it s a decision
you shouldn t take lightly."
I sucked in a deep breath and faced Matthew. "Are you giving me time
to think about this?"
"Absolutely, of course." I could tell he wanted to plead his case, and I
wasn t sure if I wanted him to. "It s going to take time getting the
paperwork for the corporation set up. I have my lawyers working on it.
But I wanted you to be on the board once we get that set up."
"Why didn t you ask Clara, she s a record store manager and probably
hears more than I do?"
"Clara would be fine in the position, but she s not you."
I quickly stood up. "Can I talk to Matthew privately?" I asked my
dad.
He waved his hand toward the door. Matthew got up and followed me
to my office. I cleared off the single chair I had and offered him to sit.
I leaned against my desk with my arms crossed against my chest.
"Why?" I asked simply.
Matthew shrugged his shoulders. "Why not?" "That's not an answer,
Matthew, and you know it." I raised my eyebrow at him.

"I miss you, Charlie," he said quietly.
"Not good enough, Matthew. I know nothing about the music industry!
Clara would ve been a better choice."
"I don t think so. I think you re the one person for this job. I looked at
hundreds of people for this position, and it was actually Joey who
considered you as A&R material."
I huffed. "That s bullshit. Joey just listened to me go on about a few
decent bands."
Matthew opened his hands in supplication. "I have the notebook
downstairs if you insist on seeing it."
I waved him off. "Of course not!"
"I know that you re the best person for this job, and I can see this
company going places in a few years. I m tired of listening to the same
old shit on the radio. I want to find something magical, and I think you
re the piece that is missing."
"You've gone absolutely batshit crazy, you know that?" I moved away
from my desk. I couldn t stand being so close to him and not touch him.
The electricity in the room was ridiculously off the charts. Why d he
have to look so damn good in a fucking suit?
"Perhaps. I probably went batshit crazy when I told your father I was
also desperately in love with his daughter."
I could only stare at him again with my mouth open. I could hear my
mom telling me I ' d catch flies if I didn't shut it.
Matthew stood suddenly and stalked predatorily towards me. Before I
had a chance to move away, he cradled his hands against my cheeks. "I
ve missed you so much, Charlie. It s been hell without you, and I
needed to make a grand gesture to make you realize how sorry I am for
compromising your trust in me and pushing you in a direction you
weren t sure of."
His eyes were engulfing me, and my body was annoyingly trying to
pull closer to his. It felt like two magnets trying to stay together, but
fighting a losing battle.
"Matthew, I m not sure if we can get back to that good we had before."
I closed my eyes because staring at him was torture. His fingers slowly
caressed my cheeks, moving down to my lips that hadn t been

kissed in forever.
"We can get there, Charlie. Just let me in." "I can t," I stepped closer to
him.
"You can," he pulled me minutely closer, his breath ghosting my
lips.
"I n e e d . " I couldn t finish as Matthew started leaving small, wet
kissed along my jaw line.
"Yes," he whispered softly.
"We shouldn't," I raised my arms to cradle the back of his neck. "Well,
it s not ideal with your dad a few feet away," he joked. "I m still mad at
you," I pouted.
"Better make up sex, then. Abuse me as you will." He trailed his fingers
down my neck to the top of my chest. I was wearing a sheer shell under
my suit jacket.
"I love you, Charlie. So fucking much," he finally slanted his mouth to
mine and kissed me with more passion and urgency than I was ready
for. My mouth was firmly closed, but his tongue was doing things to
my lips, so I opened them to allow him inside. I m not sure how long we
kissed for, but I could feel everything I felt for him coming back and
realized that I didn t and couldn t live without him.
Breathless, I pulled back to look at him. Both of us were highly
aroused. I bit my lip. "I already have a man in my life, Matthew."
The look in his eyes was murderous until I pointed to the picture on my
desk. Me and Paco at the dog park. The immediate notion that I was
talking about a dog set him at ease.
"Nice one. I thought I was going to have to fight for you. Because,
Charlie, I would fight to the death for you. I absolutely mean that."
I just nodded my head.
"So where do we go from here?" I asked.
"Say yes, Charlie. Take the position and say yes to me, too."
Biting my thumbnail, I looked at him. I was torn, at a crossroads, I
didn't know what to do or say. "Please, Charlie." He pulled me close
again. His scent was amazing. Wood, paper, and him. All him.
"Can I ask you a simple question first?"
"Baby, you can ask me anything you want."

Taking a deep breath and exhaling as slowly as possible I posed the
question:
"Will you make love to me?"
His smile lit up the room. "In a heartbeat, babe."
I stood on my toes and kissed his lips. "Then I think my answer is yes,
Matthew. I ve missed you too much, and I can t live this way without
you."
"You think your father would know if you left work early?"
I laughed. "Yeah, but it s okay. As long as you don t mind meeting
Paco?"
"I'd love to meet Paco, Charlie."
"Good, because if you're going to be around long term, he needs to get
used to you."
"Am I going to be around long term?" he asked with bated breath.
"Oh, definitely." I winked at him. A chuckle burst from his lips as he
kissed me again. "I love you, Matthew. So fucking much." I said
repeating his words.
THE END

a c k n o w l e d g e m e n t s
As they say it takes a village to write and I have a small village I need to
thank. First of all, I need to thank Ana Zaun. Who hated the first part of
this book. She made me cry. I knew she was tough and well, yeah, she
is. Second is Megan Hand who really helped with development of this
story in the early days. I was originally going to release this under a
pseudonym but decided against it.
I had so many champions to get me to finish this book. My husband and
stepson who would ask - in Stewie's voice from FAMILY GUY, "How's
that novel coming, Laura?" It became annoying. But finish I finally
did! It only took three years! Again here are the names of the people
who encouraged me and read drafts: Lori Scaman, Livia Jamerlan,
Lucia Franco, Helena Rizzuto, Angel Follansbee, Tabitha
Willbanks,
I need to thank Karen Kincy for the kick-ass cover! She put it up on her
page and I loved it so I snatched it first! She helped so much and once I
m ready for paperback, she ll be there to help!
I need to really thank Chelsea Kuhel, at Madison Seidler Editing, for
taking me and my neurosis on, because she helped a lot. You never
realize how many times you use the same words or cliché phrases and
having someone point that out is a huge thing!
I need to definitely thank my husband, Bill; my youngest daughter,
Lily; my oldest daughter, Rebecca; her daughter, Cambrey; and
husband, Corey. They ve always known I wanted to write. Hubby
wants me to sell millions, but, yeah, don t see that happening!

Thank you to everyone who s read this and reviewed it. I really
appreciate your support.

Copyright © 2016 by Laura Benson
All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be
reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express
written permission of the publisher except for the use of brief
quotations in a book review.
Cover designed by: Karen L. Kincy
Edited by: Chelsea Kuhel of Madison Seidler Editing Services
Interior design and formatting by:

www.emtippettsbookdesigns.com