Table of Contents
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Epilogue
THE LOVE POTION
GROOM
MOVIE STAR ROMANCES
TAYLOR HART
CONTENTS
Copyright
Also by Taylor Hart
Foreword by Tamarah Bartmess
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Epilogue
The Tough Love Groom
The Second Chance Groom
C O P Y R I G H T
All rights reserved.
© 2018 ArchStone Ink
No part of this publication may be reproduced,
distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any
means, or stored in a database or retrieval system,
without the prior permission of the publisher. The
only exception is brief quotations in printed
reviews. The reproduction or utilization of this
work in whole or in part in any form whether
electronic, mechanical or other means, known or
hereafter invented, including xerography,
photocopying and recording, or in any information
storage or retrieval system, is forbidden without the
written consent of the publisher and/or author.
Thank you for respecting the hard work of this
author. This edition is published by ArchStone Ink
LLC.
First eBook Edition: 2018
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places
and incidents are either the creation of the author's
imagination or are used fictitiously, and any
resemblance to actual persons, living or dead,
business establishments, events or locales is entirely
coincidental.
A L S O B Y T A Y L O R H A R T
BACHELOR BILLIONAIRE ROMANCES
Rescue Me: Park City Firefighter Romance (A Bachelor
The Last Play Series
Snow Valley Series
A Christmas in Snow Valley: The Christmas Eve Kiss
F O R E WO R D BY T A MA R A H
BA R T ME S S
Have you ever had a friendship grow into
something you never expected it to be?
In 2010, I moved to a new state, not knowing
anyone in my area. Taylor and I connected through
our church family and I could immediately tell I
was going to like her!
She was someone who was looking for a way to use
her gifts and talents to bring something special to
this world. She was constantly seeking for ways to
help develop herself and think differently and more
abundantly.
One of the coolest things about Taylor is that
she writes clean romance novels. I have read a few
of her books and they are like “Book Candy” for
their ability to bring a perfect level of sweetness
and escape from the doldrums of life.
Recently, we began talking and conjured up an idea
that she could write a Love Potion Romance and I
could write a Love Potion Recipe Book. How
FUN!
I hope that you will fall in love with B.C Knight
and Kira as they discover true love with a little help
from some Love Potions.
Tamarah Bartmess
B
C H A P T E R 1
.C. Knight walked into the quaint dance
club in downtown St. George, Utah
unsure what he expected to find. Two of
his security guys pretended friendship and flanked
him, but kept it cool. The place was packed, which,
truthfully, could go well or horribly wrong for him.
It just depended on how many clubbers recognized
him. Grateful it was already past ten-thirty, he
walked in, keeping a low profile, and headed
straight to the bar.
He was here to check into a drug rehab facility
tomorrow, a thirty day, court-mandated stint. His
agent was threatening to drop him if he didn’t get
his act together. Even though he really wouldn’t
because B.C. made him way too much money. He
wanted a good time tonight, his last night before
being committed to the rehab facility. B.C. looked
around and saw an open seat, right at the end of the
bar next to a pretty girl.
The girl was talking to the bartender and he
could already see as he got closer, it wasn’t an
intense flirtation. No, it looked very friendly and
cordial. He even noticed how the girl had this…
sweetness about her. She looked like she was
sincerely laughing.
Goodness, sweetness, laughing, he could use
that humor. Especially tonight, after all, he’d told
himself this would be his last big hurrah, ever. Well,
definitely the last one for a month. It felt like he
was always telling himself this was the last night.
For partying. For taking the pills. For…all other
destructive things.
Unfortunately, recently this untruth had led to a
traffic accident and an innocent woman getting
injured. Then his agent had to scramble to keep the
DUI out of the press because, according to his
agent, he was about to play in the biggest movie of
his life…if he could ‘keep his head down and put in
his time.’
In the darkest recesses of his mind, he didn’t
like keeping his sins out of the press. He didn’t like
being here and going to some spa to talk about his
troubles, Of course, he’d never tried rehab. Hadn’t
had to, hadn’t been forced to until now. He was
positive the whole touchy feely part of it wouldn’t
suit him.
B.C. was, at heart, a military guy. He’d been in
Hollywood the past six years. Somehow, he’d been
chosen and plucked out of obscurity, when he’d
tried out for a cologne commercial to help pay the
rent. Next thing he knew, he’d found himself
landing in a whole series of Raced and Wrecked,
movies about fast cars and mafia and the FBI. He
had a knack for it.
He was built for it. His passion was
bodybuilding and running. It’d been easy to do
when he was in the line of fire as an infantry guy
and even easier when he’d come back to nothing
and decided he wanted to make something of
himself. Two tours in Afghanistan, seeing all the
crap in the world made Hollywood living look easy.
His mother had been proud of him. His father
had passed. He was grateful he’d been able to buy
Mama the Malibu home she’d always wanted. Too
bad his mother had let the money go to her head.
He clenched his hand into a fist and tried not to
think of the latest loser, pool guy husband she’d
married in Vegas last week.
As he sat at on a barstool the bartender noticed
him “Hey man.” The bartender was tall, blond.
“What can I get for you?”
First, B.C. popped the pill bottle lid inside his
jacket and looked around the bar, trying to make
sure no one noticed. He had a couple more pain
pills. He’d received a knee injury in battle, and then
re-injured it about six months ago. The old wound
wasn’t the problem anymore, B.C. knew that.
Originally, the pills had made it possible to finish
shooting the film, then they’d become a bad habit.
He pulled the pill into his fingers and stared
back at the bartender, flashing him his movie star
smile. “Shot of whisky please, and a mimosa for
fun." He still had his sunglasses on and kept his
head down. The two security guys with him stayed
close. One stood on his right side and the other
behind him, acting chill, swaying to the music.
Out of nowhere, the girl next to him slid over
and whispered, “Better get the pill out of your
pocket and take it.”
In a flash, he pulled his sunglasses off and
stared into the most snarky green eyes he’d ever
seen. Eyes that taunted and caught his jig but most
of all eyes that saw him. He searched them and
found them rough, full of emotion. “Who are you?”
She may have looked like she was having fun a
few seconds ago, but right now she looked a little
bit lit up herself. She was flushed. Dang, she was
pretty. Her blonde hair was short with curly waves,
and looked a bit out of the nineties. How much
teasing was going on here?
“Take your pill,” she challenged. “You need the
escape, right?”
He didn’t like that she knew this, so he did what
he always did, distracted. “Honey, where would
you go if you could go anywhere?”
For a second she didn’t answer, and then she
looked confused. “What?”
“Anywhere?” He pointed at her. “In the
world.”
She leaned back, taking in a breath. “You’re
going to pay for it?”
He laughed. “Of course.” Yes, the distraction
was working.
She let out a rippling laugh. “Fine, Movie Star.
I’d go to Paris.” She turned to her glass of lemon
water and circled it lightly with her forefinger. “It’s
where Nana always wanted to go but never did.”
His heart clutched. Nana. Her grandmother?
“Well, then you should go.” Taking his phone out,
he pulled up his Delta app. “Let’s get your ticket
booked.”
She looked at his phone then scoffed. “Really?
Just like that?”
He nodded and pushed it to her. “Put in your
details and you’ll have a ticket.” And she would.
He’d done this many times at different bars in
various places.
She held his gaze, and then pointed at the
bartender. “Could I buy my cousin a ticket too?”
Cousin. Well, that sounded better than
boyfriend. He flashed a smile. “You bet.”
She looked at his phone, then back to him. “Is
this what you do? Buy everyone off, Movie Star?”
This, he hadn’t expected. It actually kind of
jolted him out of his movie star numbness. He
turned and slipped the pill into his mouth, not
waiting for water.
She let out a sigh. “There ya go.”
He turned back to her. She was looking at the
bottom of her lemon water, definitely playing
forlorn.
The dreadlock, bartender was back.
She flashed a grin at B.C. “Hey, Cuz, this movie
star idiot says he’ll send us both to Paris if that’s
what we want.”
“Really?” Her cousin looked him up and down
then flashed a smile back to the girl. “What did you
do—let him smell some of Nana’s love potion?”
She rolled her eyes and scoffed. “Kevin, c’mon,
don’t bring up Nana like that.”
Kevin was back with a whiskey, plunking it
down in front of B.C. “B.C. Knight. The Raced and
Wrecked movies.” Kevin flashed another grin. “I
love those movies.”
The girl let out a sad pfft. “I hate those
movies.”
This made him take even more note of the girl.
It wasn’t a common thing for someone to tell him
they didn’t like his movies. He frowned at her.
She smiled like she knew exactly what she was
doing.
Kevin tapped the counter in front of him. “You
okay, dude?”
There it was. The extra attention usually felt
off-putting, but this guy acted like he actually
cared. For a flash of a second, he didn’t like it and
didn’t like that there was clearly something going
on with this chick and him.
“Fine.” He slugged the drink back and jammed
it down, hating and loving the feel of whiskey
burning down his throat. “I want to buy you both
tickets.” The need to do it was overwhelming.
Make her see that he could do it.
The guy she’d called Kevin lifted his chin a
notch. “Thanks, but we gotta take care of some
stuff here. No Paris for us.”
The girl swung her gaze back to B.C. “Yeah, do
you know what it’s like to have someone you love
die?”
He was caught off guard by the question.
She shook her head and he noticed her eyes
looked very bloodshot. They misted with emotion.
"‘Cause it sucks.”
He thought of the way she’d said her Nana
would want to go. “I’m sorry.”
She let out a dithering laugh and glowered at
him. “Yeah,” she looked away. “I’m sorry, too. Do
you know who’s not sorry? My boyfriend.” She
gave B.C an accusing look. “Oh, he couldn’t make
it to Nana’s funeral because he’s in Africa saving
the world.”
B.C. gathered that she was a tad bitter.
Kevin put his hand over hers. “Kira, do you
want me to call an Uber to take you home?”
Yanking her hand back she shook her head.
“No.”
“Is she drunk?” he asked Kevin.
She only had water in front of her.
Letting out a loud laugh, she turned to him.
“Drunk? You think I’m drunk?” She sputtered and
then fell into hysterical laughter. She looked crazy,
that’s how she looked. “I don’t even drink.” She
laughed again.
He didn’t respond.
Kevin shook his head. "It’s just been a hard
day.” He poured her more water.
For a few seconds no one spoke and B.C. could
feel their palpable grief coming off in waves. He’d
always been able to tap into emotions. Sometimes it
was to his detriment. He pushed those emotions
away. “So, what’s there to do tonight?”
The girl next to him, the one still giving him the
kind of look a cop would give an inmate, shrugged.
“Nothing for your types here,” she said, sounding
even more drunk and self-deprecating. “Go buy
someone else a ticket to Paris.”
Kevin turned an accusing stare on him and he
didn’t understand why he felt like an idiot for
actually offering to buy someone a plane ticket. It
made him feel defensive. “Hey, I will pay for it.”
He hated sounding like he had to convince them.
“Like I would turn over my personal
information to you.” She glared at him like he was
some creeper.
Her mood was giving him whiplash. He scowled
at her. “Fine.” He waved at Kevin. “I need the
bill.”
Kevin seemed to hesitate, but B.C. made a
moving gesture in the air to hurry him up. “It’s fine.
The bill please.”
Kevin printed the bill and put it down. As B.C.
signed the bill, he gave Kevin a five-thousand-
dollar tip. Then pushed it over to him. “There, now
you have enough money to take you and her.” He
shook his head, not believing he was doing this. “To
Paris. Have fun.”
The bartender had the nerve to pick up the
receipt, study it, and then rip it up. “No way. Not
doing that.”
The girl shook her head and crossed her arms,
glaring at B.C. “Why would you do that?”
These people were insane. Were they actually
mad at him for giving them money? “I just tipped
you five thousand dollars dude, so you could buy
the tickets yourself.”
Both of them glared at him.
Kira shook her head and he thought he saw
tears in her eyes. “You just don’t get it, do you,
Movie Star man? You can’t buy happiness. You
can’t …” she looked away and then turned back to
him, angry, a tear running down her cheek. “You
can’t count on anything! Ever!”
He was confused at the anger directed at him.
Kevin took her hand. “Why don’t you chill out,
Cuz. Wait twenty minutes and I’ll take you home.”
She rolled her eyes and picked up a glass of
lemon water, sipping from it. He noticed her eyes
fluttering and a tear leaked out. “Nana is gone.
What’s the point of anything?”
Taking in her black dress, he wondered when
the funeral had been. He cleared his throat and
turned to face the club. He couldn’t deal with other
people’s problems he had enough of his own.
Keeping his energy close, he didn’t want to
draw attention to himself. He looked around and
casually, took another pill out of the bottle in his
pocket and popped it into his mouth. He couldn’t
exactly pop any tomorrow, could he? With his other
hand he picked up the water that the bartender had
put down and sloshed it back.
Dang. Loathing and regret washed over him.
Did he want to take these pills? Well, tomorrow he
wouldn’t have a choice any longer. Wouldn’t have
the choice to stay clean.
He covertly looked at the girl, who stared at the
bar counter, looking forlorn. Man, she was manic.
He got that, but he wanted to stay away from that
tonight.
His mind flashed to the rehab place. Part of him
had already been doing scenarios in his brain, how
hard would it be to get more pills? Sure it was a
ritzy rehab place. Wasn’t there always someone
willing to get them for you? The other part of him,
the disciplined part, wanted to tell the whole drug
use thing to screw off. He was done. He hated it.
Again, he heard a muffled sound from the girl.
She was crying. The cute, snarky girl who’d
seemed to know that he was about to pop a pill in
his mouth, which he just had, was bent over her ice
water and looked bad. “What are we gonna do,
Kevin? What are we gonna do?” She muttered to
the bartender.
The bartender leaned over her, whispering what
sounded like soothing words to her.
Once again, B.C. thought about the fact that he
didn’t need someone else’s problems. He could
barely handle his own.
Actually he couldn’t. He turned and stared at
the people on the dance floor and wondered if he
could take the risk and went out and danced. Did
he want to dance? He started thinking about being
confined in that new ritzy rehab place.
The song instantly changed to an old eighties
rock song.
Before he knew what was happening, the crazy
chick was standing in front of him giving him an
angry look. “Want to dance?”
Dumbfounded and totally unprepared he held
back. “Uh, I don’t want to draw attention to
myself.”
Her face went into a wide grin, her green eyes
taunting him as she leaned in. “Sissy.” She rushed
off, grabbing another guy from the side and pulling
him out onto the dance floor.
B. C. wanted to point out she was the one
acting totally manic.
The guy she was with wasn’t bad looking. He
had a cowboy thing going complete with the hat,
belt buckle and stupid smile.
It was annoying. B.C. found himself thinking of
ways he could easily take the guy out MMA-style,
making his blood start pumping faster. The blonde’s
tight black dress held in all the right places and the
heels didn’t hinder her moves in the slightest. She
was wild at the moment, trying to make the cowboy
do some moves to the music with her. Clearly, the
guy was an idiot and didn’t know the moves. She
was far better than him and trying way too hard to
make it work.
B.C. turned back to the bartender who met his
eyes and shook his head. “I gather you guys have
been through a hard time, but is she ok?”
The bartender's lip curled into a frown, but then
he relaxed and wiped the edge of the counter where
he was. “Funeral today. It’s been hard on her. She
came home from school last week, hoping to spend
the summer with Nana.” He shrugged “Our Nana
raised us, but out of nowhere she had a heart attack
and that’s that.” The bartender’s eyes stayed on the
girl.
B.C. who hadn’t felt interested in honestly
anyone’s lives in a long, long time asked him,
"What’s your full name?”
The blond, grunge guy’s lip twisted into a half
smile and he put his hand out. “Kevin Moonwater.
Nice to meet you.”
B.C. shook his hand. "B.C. …”
“We’ve established who you are.” Kevin
acknowledged him. “I also love your super hero
ones. I don’t know how you play Blackhawk so
well, but you do it. I’ve gone to all three of those in
the theater and to all of your war movies.” His eyes
flashed back to him. “I read an article on how you
saw a lot of crap on your tours over there, was it…
did it help you act in those movies?”
Under different circumstances, B.C. wouldn’t
have even held or carried on this conversation, the
one that perennially turned into an interview. Not
the one about being in war. He hated that question.
His eyes scanned back to the girl out on the dance
floor looking wild and vulnerable and crazy and
free. He was suddenly more interested in this whole
situation than he'd been in anything for months. “It
was hell,” he said dryly. “I don’t know if I’d say it
was worth it for a movie roll, but, I like being in
movies.”
Yes, the pills were taking effect. He felt all the
edginess gather inside him and dissipate into the
bass of the music. He could breathe easier and he
felt something loosen inside of his chest. Like the
grip that had been there squeezing was letting
loose. He picked up his water and took another sip.
At this moment, all drugged up, he actually felt
more like himself than he had in long, long time.
For a couple of minutes he heard Kevin helping
other customers. Yep, he liked the fact the place
was packed. It did give him a bit more anonymity.
The song changed and he watched Kira run her
fingers through her blonde hair and go to another
guy, tugging him out. Obviously, it looked like they
all knew each other, because this guy took her into
a slow dance, and had a sad look on his face.
B.C. nursed his drink, still keeping it low,
waiting and watching her. She was gorgeous.
Graceful. She looked loose and free, but he could
see her start doing what seemed like ballet moves
or turning around the man in ways he wasn’t really
prepared for. Not a tango, but she could dance.
Holding onto the guy she put her leg up and did a
fast twirl.
B.C. was mesmerized by her. He turned back to
Kevin. “Is she a dancer?”
Seeming a bit taken off guard, Kevin hesitated,
looking at her. Right at that moment she lifted a leg,
kicked and did a turn around the guy. He sighed.
“She was…don’t know if she’ll be going back to
Julliard or not. Nana passed the ranch to both of
us.”
B.C. turned to face Kevin. “You own a ranch?”
Kevin shrugged. “I guess I do now. Death
comes when you’re not expecting it, right?”
B.C. thought of all the death that he’d been
around. Kevin didn’t know the half of it. The worst
was carrying his buddy out of that war zone and
watching his life seep out of his body. It was…ugly.
It could wreck a man mentally if he didn’t have a
place to store it. So B.C. stashed it back into the
box where it belonged and made a command
decision. He took off his hoodie.
Another song had started.
A country song. He was tired of watching a
woman who clearly owned the dance floor, not
have the right partner. In five steps he was out to
her, the guy she’d been dancing with had been
leaving, but stopped.
“Can I have this dance?” B.C. was already
taking her hand.
She stopped, looking lost for a moment. A look
that B.C. recognized and identified on some level
he hadn’t allowed himself to go to for a very long
time.
“Kira, want to dance?” He asked, again.
She blinked and a wicked glint came into her
eye. She squeezed his hand and asked, “Think you
can keep up?”
The song was full of hee haw, country energy.
B.C. didn’t want to spoil her fun and remind her
that he’d been trained only two years ago for a
whole cowboy role. He was a country western
music star, complete with line dancing and country
two-step. Easily he turned her into some
complicated moves.
She kept pace. He’d known she would keep
pace and now she grinned up at him like he’d just
won her a stuffed bear at a carnival. “That’s right,
you played ‘Man of Thunder’ didn’t you?” She
laughed and although it sounded inflated, he could
definitely tell this was part of her manic mood
talking. He spun her some more and liked feeling…
free. If only for a second, with this woman he
began feeling something that had eluded him for a
long time.
She laughed and not only mastered the moves
he was throwing at her, but took him into
variations.
“Are you sure you’re not lit up?” He asked
when she hoisted herself into his arms and
commanded him to twirl her.
She laughed even harder and he found himself
thinking she looked magical at the moment, above
his head, her chin up, her hands back. Perfect.
He brought her down and they continued into
more steps.
She slowed their steps into a two-step. “I have
to admit, I hated the first Raced and Wrecked,
haven’t seen the rest. In fact, the worst scene was
the scene in Brooklyn when you pretended to be in
the mob and you were doing that horrible accent.”
Holy…what? Abruptly, he stopped dancing.
“You really hated my movie?” Now she was
criticizing his accents?
She laughed again and pulled him into another
round of moves. It seemed like it made her happy
to see him so upset. “Chill out, Movie Star.”
He found himself having to concentrate on the
moves again, he lifted her into the air and she swept
each side of his body. He then held her straight up
in the air. The whole place was clapping and
laughing and when he put her down, he felt the
flashes of cameras start.
Another wicked glint was in her eye. “I thought
the great B.C. didn’t want to be recognized this
evening.”
The way she said it. The way she taunted him
with it made him smile. The way his heart raced,
this woman was intense.
Another song came on, an eighties hair-band
song and he found himself throwing himself into the
moves with her. It felt amazing. She was in it to
win. Her body jerked and her hair spun and hit him
in the face, making him laugh.
The thing B.C. liked about this woman was
maybe she was a bit crazy tonight, but she wasn’t
treating him like B.C. Knight: Movie Star. She was
just having fun.
The song ended and there were people
beginning to moving in on him. Luckily, his security
guys were there, keeping people at bay.
It wasn’t bad, not like the clubs in LA or
various places he’d been.
They went back to the bar and Kevin had
waters for them. He had a smile on his face and
spoke to her. “Got yourself a partner who might be
able to keep up with you.”
She laughed and drank the water. “Maybe.”
Kevin gave her a sincere look. “You have to go
back to school, Cuz, that’s nonnegotiable.”
This made the smile on her face disappear. She
held Kevin’s eyes then shook her head.
B.C. didn’t know what had just happened, but
even in his numb state, he could clearly see
something had.
She plunked down her water and glared at
Kevin. “I’m going home.”
B
C H A P T E R 2
.C. watched this blonde, tall, mythical
woman in the black dress who could
dance like a Greek muse, stride away
from the bar and he was sad to let her go.
“No!" Kevin ran after her.
B.C. once again couldn’t stop himself from
watching them.
He saw her rip her hand away from Kevin as he
reached for her arm.
Then, just like a movie playing before his eyes,
he watched her fall apart and burst into sobs.
He thought of their grandmother they’d just
buried and he thought of the passion in this woman.
He even thought he shouldn’t be doing this as he
tapped the security guy close to him and said,
“Follow me, we’re going to make sure someone
gets home okay.”
His security guys’ jobs were to stay sober. To
take care of him. No wonder they looked a little
puzzled. “You sure?”
“Yes.” He got to Kevin and the girl. “Hey, can I
give her a ride?”
She was clutching at Kevin’s chest, her face
buried into it.
Kevin hesitated.
“Let me help you.” B.C. said softly.
Kevin frowned, patting her back. “That’s a
good idea.” Kevin looked at the security guy. “He’s
driving, right?”
B.C. nodded.
Kevin nodded, too and turned to Kira. “Why
don’t you go back to the ranch and settle in for the
night. I’ll be done in about two hours."
Angrily, she pulled back from him, and B.C.
was reminded the woman was clearly unstable at
the moment. She was suddenly triumphant and a
piece of clear physical beauty began to appear,
rising up with her as she held her head high with
fire in her eyes. "You’re sending me home with the
Movie Star?” She glared at him. “No.” Then she
turned to stalk off, but Kevin was on her heels.
It was funny she was mad about this. Did she
not get the memo—he was a famous movie star?
Now the crowd was noticing him more and his
other security guy closed in to provide protection.
B.C. found himself following Kevin and this
woman out the front door of the club.
Kevin was next to her, only a few steps from
the street. "Please, Kira, please. Just get a ride
home."
She stuck her chin in the air. “I’ll get an Uber.”
She was typing on her phone.
B.C. felt a bit disappointed. For a second he
thought of how his own grandmother always used
to say when you swap another problem for your
own it helps you feel better. Dang, he hadn’t
thought about that for a long, long, time.
The dance club door opened and a guy yelled,
“Kevin!”
Kevin held her wrist and she glared at him.
“Don’t do anything stupid.”
Yanking her hand free, she rushed away from
him. “Oh, get lost, Kevin.”
B.C. could see the struggle on the guy’s face.
He didn’t want to let his cousin go, but he had
commitments.
So B.C. did the only thing he could think to do.
“I’ll take care of it.”
Kevin turned to him, hesitating for a moment.
“I don’t understand why you care so much.”
B.C. was put on the spot, so he told the truth.
“Death sucks.” He threw his hands up. “I have a
mother who needs help sometimes, I know how to
deal with this. Believe me, this will be nothing.”
Plus, it gave him purpose. He always liked the
movies where he played a hero.
For a second B.C. didn’t know if Kevin would
take the olive branch, but then he gave a firm nod.
He looked at his hands. "Can I get your number?”
They exchanged information as a car with an
Uber plaque drove up. B.C. saw her about to get
into it. He took off. “I’ll text you.”
His security was on him, but he brushed them
aside, even though he was pretty loaded, he was
used to being loaded. Sticking out his foot just as
she pulled the door shut. He felt a bit of pain go
through him. “Guys, I’ll be back at the hotel by
midnight."
There were protests from his guys, but he
slipped in the car and waved them off.
The car took off and he heard her breathing
hard. “You shouldn’t have done that.”
It was funny to him that here was this girl, in a
clearly bad state of mind, putting out all the vibes
to stay away. Yet, he was chasing her. How long
had it been since he had chased a woman down?
He was used to being the one getting chased.
“Get out,” she said quietly.
His heart raced and he didn’t know what to do
with the intensity of this woman.
“Look, it’s fine.”
“No, you look," she turned to him.
Their eyes met and he saw tears on her face.
She poked his chest hard. “I have no idea why
you are in this car, but I really know I must be
losing it if my cousin sent you here to take me
home!” She blinked and more tears ran down her
defiant face.
Grief.
He remembered being four and his mother
taking him to the zoo and giving him an ice cream
cone to explain to him that his father wasn’t
coming back. Ever. It was funny that he would
remember that at this moment. The way the
strawberry ice cream ran down his hand, getting
sticky, the way his mother’s tears ran down her
face and she pulled him to her side, getting the ice
cream in her hair and telling him they would be
okay, somehow, they would make it.
He snapped back to the present. He looked
around the town and saw the word Dixie
illuminated up on the mountain.
He leaned forward, close to the driver and
pointed toward the Dixie on the mountain . “Go
there, please.”
“No, wait.” She turned to him looking
confused.
The driver pulled over. “What are we doing?”
B.C. turned to her. The point was that she
wasn’t in her own head at the moment, right? She
still needed a distraction. Maybe he did, too. “I’ve
never taken the tour of St. George. Is the Dixie sign
like the Hollywood sign?”
A sardonic laugh came out of her. “Yeah, just
like LA, I’m sure.”
“Can we go up there? Will you go with me?”
She narrowed her eyes. “Why?”
He shrugged. “Why not? Do you really want to
go back already?”
She sighed, then waved a hand through the air.
“Fine, driver, please take us up there.”
It took a few minutes for the driver to wind
through the streets and B.C. found himself smelling
her. He’d smelled traces during the dancing but
now he thought she smelled like lavender or….
“Lilac.” She offered, still not looking at him.
“What?” Had she taken that thought out of his
head?
They got to the top of the street, to a path. She
turned to him. “Are we doing this?”
The intense way she asked him, like he would
back out, made him even surer that they would do
this. “We’re doing this.”
He got out and so did she. She thanked the Uber
driver and he took off.
They both stood by a very unimpressive path
that led to some switchback turns up to the
illuminated rocks. For a second he looked at the
heels she wore and wondered if she would bag it,
but she started hiking up the rocks. “You coming,
Movie Star?”
It was funny to him that this woman treated him
nothing like any other woman ever had. “Yep.” He
went after her. It wasn’t easy going. She picked her
way across the boulder-like rocks and he found
himself having to use his skills to keep pace.
They hiked up for a few moments. He thought
of how bright the stars were here. In L.A. they
always felt so far away. Tonight, he felt like he
could reach up and touch them. He asked, “How
did you know I was thinking about what you
smelled like?”
She let out a light laugh and he looked up at her,
standing on top of one of the rocks. The way the
moonlight fell on her made her seem fragile and
beautiful. Once again he marveled at her blonde
hair, light and curled, her perfect makeup even
though she’d been crying, the way she held herself
like a royal queen. Her lean dancer body was
graceful. She smirked at him. “Because you were
mouth breathing and leaning close with your eyes
closed so it’s that or you’re even weirder than I
thought.”
He laughed, this time laughing like he really
meant it. Actually, since he’d seen her face and the
smile in that dance club, he’d felt freer than he’d
felt in a long, long time. Was this the pill talking or
was it real?
Their eyes held for a brief moment and she bent
down and took her heels off, leaving them. She
turned and pointed to the DIXIE rocks. “Let’s get
up there.”
She went to one of the boulder rocks and
picked her way to the top of the first “I” in Dixie.
He waited at the bottom for her to get to the
top.
“You comin' or not?” She turned back, flashing
that wicked smile at him.
He bounded to the top and both of them sat.
For a second, he could imagine they were in
some kind of movie.
The town was brilliantly lit and he could see all
the people on main street, like they were little toy
people.
She pointed. “There’s the freeway that you take
south to Moab.” She moved her hand. “There’s the
Mormon Temple.”
It was all lit up and breath taking.
He hadn’t really noticed it before.
She pointed to the north. “There’s Snow
Canyon. It’s a good hike during the day.”
He agreed with a quick flick of his head and
wondered at this woman beside him. At the
moment she was calm, almost tour guide-ish. He
wondered what she would be like if he’d met her
before her Nana had passed.
She pulled out her phone and clicked on a
picture of a woman in a black and white photo,
wearing some kind of prom dress, on the arm of a
man.
He leaned over to get a better look, guessing it
was her grandmother.
She sighed. “That’s Nana’s prom picture.” Her
voice quieted and she zoomed the photo in,
inspecting it. “She was so beautiful.” Her voice was
melancholy.
He turned to her and studied her face, noticing
the shimmer in her eyes.
“Are those butterflies on the dress?”
She let out a light laugh “Nana loved them.
She’d loved them her whole life. Her logo for the
ranch has butterflies on it.”
“She was beautiful like you.”
She glared at him and put the picture away.
“Look, I’m not one of your Hollywood types, you
don’t have to say things like that.”
He hesitated, clearly the manic girl was back.
“I mean it,” she said angrily.
“Oh, you mean the truth?” He said back a bit
testily. He knew he was flirting and he liked it.
She waved him off. “Whatever.”
The view was breath taking. He liked sitting up
here and he liked the fact he could see practically
the whole valley. The warm, desert air felt
absolutely amazing. When he’d gotten to this town
this morning, it’d been sweltering heat. Currently, it
had cooled off to a perfect temperature. “Dang, it’s
nice up here,” he said.
“Even impressive enough for you?” she
questioned.
He turned to see her shimmering eyes.
For a moment, neither of them spoke because
he didn’t know what to say, didn’t know what this
woman needed. Didn’t know if he could help her at
all. She had him completely off balance. Beauty,
brashness, she had a wildness about her. Sure, grief
did those things to people, but there was more to
her. He could feel it. “It’s impressive,” he said, not
really meaning the view.
She grinned at him. “As good as Paris?”
Sucking in a breath, he looked out, thinking of
standing at the top of the Eiffel Tower. “Different,
but good.” He took a chance. “Do you really want
to go to Paris?”
She grinned and it was brilliant. “Of course, I
want to do Paris. Only I want to do the cliché Paris,
in Springtime. That’s what I’ll do one day."
Unexpectedly, an image of both of them in Paris
appeared in his mind, with her doing one of those
cheesy selfie poses next to the Seine River. “After
you finish Julliard?”
She glowered at him. “Do you really want to
get in a fight?”
He put up his hands, not realizing it was a hot
point. “Why is it a fight?”
She exhaled. “Because Nana was paying for
Julliard.”
He got it. “And Nana’s gone now.”
She nodded. “It sounds so messy when it’s just
about money, because with Nana, it wasn’t about
money.”
Once again he wondered if she would cry.
“School might not be an option now.”
For a moment, he didn’t know what to do, but
he wanted to connect with her. Wanted to show her
he understood what it was like to lose someone. "I
may not understand your pain, but I lost my best
friend on my second tour in Afghanistan.”
Jerking to look at him, she asked. “You
served?”
He nodded.
She shook her head slowly. "I’m sorry, I didn’t
know. Truthfully, I don’t know much about you.”
He didn’t know whether to be flattered or
concerned. “I guess that’s ok.”
She let out a light laugh. “Oh, it’s okay you’re
not the center of my universe? Well, that’s good.”
Once again, this woman was keeping him off
kilter. He let out a joyless laugh. He guessed he did
sound annoying.
She sighed. “Well, finish telling me. You can’t
just start something like that and not tell me.”
Of course she would want to know. Why was
he talking about something he hadn’t told anyone?
He continued. “Troy and I were clearing a building
together and he got hit. I dragged him back to base,
but he died in my arms.” He shivered, thinking
about it. Truthfully, he’d had nightmares about it
way too much.
She turned to him. “You tried to save him.”
It unsettled him, the raw way she said it.
He shrugged. “I didn’t.”
She put her hand on his. “I’m sorry.”
This connection was the last thing he’d
expected. This actually felt real. He thought of all
the conversations he’d had with women lately that
had felt more like a movie script than real life.
She pulled her hand back. “Tell me what you’re
thinking right now.”
“What?” he asked.
She pointed at him. "There was a look on your
face. A look like it wasn’t a cover up.”
“Cover up?”
She let out a breath. “You’re an actor. I am a
dancer. I had a teacher who told us to put on a
‘jacket’ of the best dancer we could when we
performed. So I guess I found it helpful to go into a
character. To put on the best dancer I could think
of. It made me think, how easy it would be for
actors to always ‘wear a jacket.’”
“Hmmph.” He hadn’t thought of it like that, but
she was right.
“So what were you thinking when your jacket
slipped?"
He didn’t know how to explain, but he wanted
to try. He actually liked sitting up here above St.
George, in the middle of the night. Everything felt a
bit fuzzy, yet perfectly clear. “I guess, I was
thinking how I hadn’t had real conversations with
women for a long time.”
She scoffed. “Not when you’re offering to buy
them plane tickets.” She tsked her tongue. “Why
would you do that?”
He felt like an idiot. Which was funny. Most of
the time buying stuff for people worked like a
charm. “I don’t know.”
“Because you’re typecast,” she offered.
“What?”
“In your role. As the bad boy that comes in and
tears it up. The anti-hero. The jerk. You’ve taken it
on.”
He blinked and tried to just live in the now. It
was what his therapist said. “Okay, getting deep.”
“Or I guess you’re a typecast of just the hero
too.”
He frowned.
“I’m not saying that I’m not typecast, too,” she
said unexpectedly. "I think I’ve typecast myself
with the bad boyfriend.” She let out a derisive
laugh. “I’ve been with Spence a year. He came
here and met Nana last Christmas and hated
everything about Southern Utah. Hated everything
about the ranch. Currently, he says he’s helping
people in Africa build catfish ponds and he can’t
come home….man, I’m rambling and pathetic,” she
snapped. “I guess I’m that character in the movie.
The pathetic one.”
This was interesting. Was she trying to be self-
reflective? Because he sensed this wasn’t the time
to press her about the bad boyfriend. Even though
he wanted to. How he wanted to. “I’m sorry, again,
about your Nana,” he said softly, not knowing what
to say. “I don’t think you’re pathetic.”
For a moment, her face was completely still,
then she turned back to him. “Thanks.”
Again, he liked that this whole thing felt real.
Letting out a long breath, Kira leaned back on
her hands. “Nana, she was a dreamer. She…” Then
her face turned into one big smile. So bright and
brilliant and beautiful, he wished he could bottle it
and keep it when he needed a shot of pure delight.
“The past couple of years I’ve been a bit lost.” She
let out a light laugh. “Nana thought Spence was
part of that lost part of me.” She shrugged. “She
didn’t like him.”
He found this even more interesting but he
didn’t want to push it.
“Nana was always so grounded. She always
told me to trust in God.”
His heart pounded inside his chest. Lately,
when he was honest with himself he was looking
for something to hold to. “Is that the answer?”
She rolled her eyes. “I don’t know. My
boyfriend doesn’t think it is.”
“Oh.” He’d been trying not to recall that small
detail. “The boyfriend in Africa.”
She grunted and didn’t seem happy. She waved
a hand into the air. “Nana believed in truth outside
of anything. That’s how she proved the existence of
God.” she said and waved another hand, “All of
this, the Earth, the air, the stars, the sun exist
outside of anyone’s belief.” Her voice sounded
dreamy. “I guess I believe it, too.”
He turned to her and saw a tear running down
her cheek.
Her simple faith touched him.
She turned to him. “Do you believe in God,
after what you've seen in war?”
He hesitated. Wow, it had gone deep.
“You don’t have to answer.”
He
found
himself
wanting
to
answer.
“Sometimes I would tell myself there was a reason
for it all, but if there was a reason, then why was
there so much evil in the world?” It honestly just
made me angry. Dang, he was telling this woman
everything. He put a hand up. “Not to squelch what
your Nana said.”
She shook her head. “Oh, don’t worry about it.
Spence told me this morning, before the funeral
when I was bawling my eyes out on the phone to
him, that if we are really existentialists then there is
no death, and nothing to be upset about.”
Instantly, B.C. wanted to sucker punch what he
imagined would be the smug, fictional boyfriend.
Well, fictional in his mind, boyfriend’s head off.
“Spence’s an idiot.”
She let out a light laugh. “That’s what Kevin
says.” She pointed toward the east. “Over there,
that’s Zion National Park. She would take us to
Zions hiking. I don’t know if you’ve been to
Zions.”
The moonlight painted the landscape in silvers
and shadows that he’d never seen before, but all he
could think about was how much he hated this girl’s
boyfriend. “No, but it sounds nice.”
“When the people settled this part of Utah, the
Native Americans were here and they had all these
legends about Zion.” She smiled. “Nana would take
us on these hikes and teach us about the flowers
and the botany. I swear, my grandmother had an
herb for everything. She wasn't into New Agey
stuff, she was legit; love the land, love the flowers
and herbs, they love you back.”
She shook her head and he saw a tear wash
down her face. “My parents were.... Well, my dad
passed away. My mother ran off to Hollywood and
never came back. My Nana was everything.” She
put her hand into a fist. “I’m rambling. Sorry.”
“No.” He didn’t think she was rambling. “I like
talking with you.”
For a few moments both of them were quiet.
She was looking out at the city. “Nana loved it
here, but she pushed me to use my talent to go to
Julliard and perform.”
“She sounds pretty amazing.”
She shook her head. “She was. Now it’s too
late. I have to get home.” She turned on her
stomach and started sliding off the boulder.
He didn’t want this ride to be over yet. “Wait,
don’t go.”
She was already well on her way down. “If
you’re going to see me home, you better pick up
the pace.”
So he did what she said. He got off the boulder
and went after her. Dang, she was fast in those
heels.
He caught up to her and found himself walking
down the switchback path.
Now that she didn’t seem as out of her mind,
she was more determined.
He had to walk faster to catch her. “Are you
okay?”
She grunted. “I’m fine. Probably better than
you.” She turned her searing attention on him but
kept hiking. “Why are you in St. George again?"
It was funny to him how many answers his
publicist had prepped for him. Looking at property,
searching for a vacation home, here to take in the
sights. Nothing but the truth would do. “Drug
rehab,” he offered plainly.
She immediately stopped.
Ramming right into her, he tried to stop the
force of the hit and switched in front of her, holding
on to her, so she didn’t fall over.
They twisted down the path a ways, but it was
like dancing again. He braced them before they
stumbled, glad he was so athletic and she was so
graceful.
She’d held his arms as he’d taken her by the
waist and braced both of them. When they stopped,
they were both breathing hard.
They both burst out laughing.
It felt amazing.
“You’re pretty good on your feet,” she
admitted.
The words didn’t have the angst behind them
any longer.
He knew that this would be a great scene in a
movie. It was as if he couldn’t stop himself, he
leaned down and gently brushed his lips to hers. It
wasn’t a needy kiss, or a gentle kiss, but more like a
kiss of truth. He felt something he’d never felt. It
was over too quickly when she shoved him hard in
the chest.
She put her hand to her mouth and blinked.
“What was that?”
He was honestly flabbergasted. “I’m sorry.”
For a moment, she looked completely confused.
“I don't even know you!”
How did he feel like he knew her? “I’m sorry,”
he repeated.
She was already hiking down the mountain
again. “I have a boyfriend.”
“Who’s a jerk,” he added.
She glared at him. “Shut up!”
All of these feelings were buzzing inside of him.
“I’m sorry," he mumbled for the third time, even
though he wasn’t.
She yanked out her phone as they got to the
little dirt road and he saw her ping an Uber.
They waited.
Now, instead of feeling the peace he’d felt
earlier as they stared down at the lit up city of St.
George, he felt like he’d just blown what could
have been the best thing in his life.
She turned and glared at him. “You don’t get to
kiss people you don’t know. I don’t know who you
are."
A black sedan pulled up. He reached out and
opened the door for her.
She gave him another glare, then got in.
He rushed around, getting in the other side,
thinking this night had taken a whole different path
than he ever could have imagined.
She gave the guy directions to the dance club.
“No, I told your cousin I would see you home."
He protested.
She ignored him and the sedan wound back
through town.
When they arrived at the club, she shook her
head and looked like the air had all been deflated
out of her. “Please. Just get out. I…” she turned
away. “On top of everything else in my life, now I
have to explain to my boyfriend why I just kissed a
movie star.”
A
C H A P T E R 3
bout forty minutes outside of St. George,
B.C. walked into the posh spa-like place
he’d been ordered to go to for rehab and
cringed.
The smell of sage assaulted him. Crap. It was
one of those New Agey places that were all the
rage in Hollywood. The kind he could pretend to fit
in with. The producer in his last movie had made
them all do yoga in the morning and drink some
green drink. He liked to be healthy, but to him it
was pushing it a bit too far drinking kale.
Bleck. He couldn’t stand kale.
“Right this way, Mr. Knight,” said the orderly
who had met him at the door while someone else
valet parked him.
Today was the last possible day for him to
check in. He’d agreed to thirty days. Well, the court
had allowed him to make a deal in exchange for
prison time for his DUI, so he supposed he should
be grateful. At least that’s what his agent had told
him.
His mind flashed to the dance club last night. To
Kira.
Darkness had flooded him again as he’d gone
back to his hotel. His security guys had chewed him
out when he got out of the Uber at the hotel. He
had commitments; he couldn’t be gallivanting all
over. He had a career, a house to pay for, for his
mother who he’d committed to. He had a life
everyone dreamed of.
He’d taken another pill at that point.
Even though he was court ordered to this place,
the fact was, he did feel guilty about driving under
the influence. He did, after all, hit a car and that
driver had been hurt. Nothing more than a little
whiplash, but it could have been worse. His
attorney had settled with the woman for a cool
million and kept it out of the press, but how long
would he be out of the press?
To him, the point was that he’d hurt someone
because of his addiction. He’d told himself he
wouldn’t be his mother, yet here he was.
He looked around. The place was nothing short
of a resort. Huge, arched ceiling. Log-cabin style
but not a log cabin. Reddish and white, like the
brick-colored red rock around St. George he’d
noted on the way into town. This place was
supposed to be a secret rehab for the rich and
famous. His agent told him all the stars came here
when they went through something. The staff was
excellent, the food delicious, and he’d be ‘well
taken care of’. Problem was, he surmised, as he
looked around and resisted the urge to spit on the
floor just to muck it up a bit, he didn’t want to be
pampered and taken care of.
He wanted pain.
Misery. To be left alone in his dark thoughts.
His thoughts had surprisingly been hijacked last
night by the ethereal, beautiful, blonde women who
looked straight out of the Great Gatsby movie.
That kiss. Dang. Even in his small high, which
wasn’t much compared to what he could have done
with more pills and alcohol, he remembered that
kiss. All night he’d been thinking about her.
Dreaming about her. When he woke this morning
he thought of the fact, if he were a producer, he
would type cast her as a spy.
She was tricky.
Yes, if he were to cast that woman, she would
make a fantastic spy, running around in her high
heels and black dress and vibrant green eyes. That
fragrant blonde hair.
His phone buzzed and he pulled it out, seeing it
was Jake, his agent.
“Hey.”
“Are you there?” Jake asked.
He rolled his eyes. “You don’t have to babysit
me.”
Jake sighed. “Actually, after your little stunt last
night when you ditched Tom and Harry, I think you
proved I do have to babysit you.”
B.C. opted for silence. He told himself yet
again, this was his fault. His hand twitched to get
the little pill in his pocket.
Jake continued. “B.C., you need to get through
the next thirty days and get signed off or whatever
and be back for the premiere. If you’re at the
premiere, I have it on good authority, the producer
of the new war movie, that true story about World
War II, wants you.”
His heart raced. “I’d be working with Travis
SanBrook?” That would be huge.
“Yeah. Right now it’s between you and Grant
Hutley, so keep your nose clean.” He let out a
laugh. “Literally, and get your butt back here.”
“Grant’s up for this role?” He scoffed, thinking
of one of his co-stars in the Raced and Wrecked
movies.
“Yep.”
B.C. felt the pressure turn up a notch. “What
about Trevor and Zade?” He thought about the last
premiere where he and his other co-stars had sat in
expensive foreign cars and drank champagne at the
party after. How they had taken off in one and
driven it all over Hollywood that night, high and
drunk.
The memories were hazy. He thought it’d been
fun then. It had, hadn’t it? He couldn’t really
remember all the details. He shook his head and felt
a dull ache starting in the back of his left eye.
Migraine. That’s usually where it started. Good
thing he had one more pill to help deaden the pain.
“Trevor and Zade would be good, too.”
“Naw, the part is yours.” Jake assured him.
He sighed. “Hopefully.”
“Okay, good luck, B.C., take care of yourself.”
Jake said.
“K.”
The line went dead and he put his phone back
into his pocket.
The guy at the front counter, who had waited
while he’d been on the phone, rolled his eyes. He
was tall. Very tall, like freakish should be playing
basketball for the NBA kind of tall. He tapped the
counter. “Might as well just leave your phone with
me. First week you don’t get it.”
Maybe it was the realization that he was finally
here. In this place where he wouldn’t be able to do
what he wanted to do. Immediately, B.C. wanted to
punch this stupid, guy with his stupid haircut and
stupid smile on his face. “What?” He hadn’t been
told about this. Freedom was important to B.C. not
just because he’d defended that freedom but
because he didn’t like to be messed with.
The tall, stupid haircut guy nodded and put out
a basket. “Put your phone in here, please.”
B.C. pulled his sunglasses off, immediately
feeling the pain surge behind his eye. He squinted
at the too happy tall guy. “I’m keeping my phone.”
The guy shook his head. “Nope. In order for
you to get signed off by the court, you have to get
signed off by us, which means abiding by our
rules.”
This didn’t stand with B.C. He wasn’t going to
be treated like a kid. “I thought this place was the
best rehab place for movie stars,” he stated,
sounding a bit like a prima donna. If he had to tap
into part-gansta he could go to his Bobby Born role
he played in the movie for character orientation.
The guy shook his head. “You can call your
fancy agent back, but he’s gonna tell you, you have
to comply with our rules or you have to go to a real
jail."
It ticked B.C. off that this guy, who apparently,
even though he had the stupid haircut and the
stupid smile, which wasn’t a smile now, felt pretty
confident to boss him around. His agent had told
him this was where all the greats had come to do
their time, so he figured he had to do this. Probably
why his agent had called just a second ago, to make
sure he knew, even though he wouldn’t like
following the stupid rules, he didn’t have a choice.
B.C. had messed up. He thought about hitting that
car, thought about the still haziness of the memory
of that night and relented. Reluctantly, he shoved
the phone down on the counter and glared at up at
him.
The guy’s face instantly went from stubborn
back to happy. “Hello, Mr. Knight, welcome to Red
Rock Acres. Although you will be here to serve
your time, it is one of our highest priorities that you
are comfortable here. Along with meeting with
counselors one-on-one and group therapy, we offer
a variety of relaxing classes and yoga, Pilates, Tai
Chi, horseback riding. There are meditation classes,
too. There are paths around the property on which
you are welcome to take long walks and clear your
head. Utah boasts fresh air and outdoor living like
none other.”
“I don’t need the commercial.” He glared at the
guy and wanted to rip his happy face off again.
Actually, what he really wanted to do was take the
pill in his pocket.
The guy actually broke into a smile and
laughed. “Look, it’s the job okay?” He shrugged. “I
enjoyed your last movie. I love cars and Raced and
Wrecked was amazing with that scene in the sky.”
The words dulled to dribble as B.C. tried to
grasp them. Blah blah blah. Yes, everyone liked
cars and racing them and loved that scene when
they’d been in Italy and the car had come out of an
airplane. “Thanks,” he grunted, staring down at the
paperwork in front of him.
“Right.” The stupid haircut guy said and
pointed to the forms. “You need to sign here and it
will be given to the court so they know you are
checked in. Your thirty days starts today.” He
cocked an eyebrow. “I’m Clark by the way.”
B.C. grunted. “Perfect, another guy who thinks
he’s superman.”
Clark scowled at him. “Funny.”
B.C., obviously, wasn’t in a great mood. He
signed the forms and Clark walked him through the
resort. The arched ceilings and floor to ceiling
windows that overlooked a breathtaking view of
mountains and red rocks really were beautiful, as
well as the garden, fountain, and clear water pools.
He saw sporadic people around. He could also see a
couple of people in various groups together doing
what appeared to be meditation yoga. He snorted.
Yeah, that wasn’t for him.
They got to a hallway and walked down it.
“This will be your room." Clark signaled a room
that looked like a fancy hospital room and pointed
to the numbers. “Two-o-two. For the next month. I
think you’ll be happy with the accommodations.
There’s a new crop of you coming in today, I think
five. So it works out for group therapy. You can all
be on the same schedule. You’ll be left alone right
now, but before we do that, I need to go through
your luggage and check for medications.”
He said the word so doctor like, but B.C. knew
he meant drugs.
It wasn’t hard, as a professional actor, to shrug
and smile, slip his hand into his pocket and put his
fingers around his last pill. "That’s cool.”
Clark narrowed his eyes and put his hand out.
“Let me have your last pill.”
It took B.C. by surprise that the stupid grin,
haircut face guy had noticed this. He played it cool,
slipping it between his fingers like a quarter in a
magic trick. He pulled his hand out and held it
open. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Clark rolled his eyes. “Hmmph.” He looked at
the suitcase and bent to open it.
“So you’re going to pillage my things.” B.C.
acted mad, but he knew this was the drill. That’s
why he’d thrown the rest of them out this morning,
but kept this one. He waited until the guy was
pillaging and he put the pill to his mouth, taking it
in and swallowing it quick. One last hit for a month.
The guy looked up at him. “I saw that.”
B.C. glowered at him and wondered if someone
else, someone at the facility would be willing to get
him drugs. Prison always had drugs for the right
price, right? He looked through the halls, but there
were only people standing around talking, and no
one looked …shifty.
“What’s your name, again?” B.C. asked,
pretending he had forgotten already.
The guy stood. “Clark, aka, your worst
nightmare if you’re thinking you can score drugs
from me.”
This wasn’t a prison movie, he reminded
himself.
But why hadn’t he thought of this before? He
couldn’t imagine it would be that hard to play like
he was recovering. After all, he was an actor.
Clark got up and resealed his suitcase. “Alright,
just so you know we have the right to check your
room and things at any time. That’s part of being
here. You don’t have the right to privacy."
B.C. held his gaze. He felt that gut punch he
always felt when someone reigned down on him
about freedom. “I served this country for four years
so you don’t get to tell me what freedoms I get or
not.” His mind flitted and he imagined the pill was
taking affect and getting in his bloodstream. He felt
himself relax a bit and he looked down and saw his
hand wasn’t trembling. That was a good start, but
how long would it last?
He needed more. He needed to find someone
who would score for him.
Clark seemed to be sizing him up.
B.C. could and would take him in a fight. He’d
grab that mullet and throw him to the ground in one
fell swoop.
Clark glared at him, then turned and walked
away. “Dr. Schneider will be here in an hour.”
B.C. watched him go and felt himself relax a
bit. He picked up his bag and went to his room. He
hated it, he decided quickly. Even though, he
reminded himself, he was lucky not to be serving in
a real jail. His thoughts flitted to Afghanistan.
Heck, living in the shadows of a war zone had been
enough jail time for any man, he figured.
Unpacking quickly, he decided he might as well
get his running clothes on. They couldn’t stop him
from doing that, right? Plus, he’d taken that last pill
and he was feeling better, might as well use the
time to get in a workout. He needed his workout.
Bolting from the room, he took off down the
hall, still liking the fact the place was so open. He
put his ear buds in. Good thing he had an MP3
player with his music. He’d kind of wondered if his
phone would be gone, so he’d prepped. He rushed
down the hall, but then Clark was storming toward
him.
“Hey!” Clark called out.
B.C. was faster, seeing deliverance in the door
marked exit that led to the outside.
“Hey!” Clark tried again.
B.C. hit the door and was off.
For a second he wondered if sirens would sound
or something would happen, but nothing happened.
He sped up. He noticed there was a marked hiking
path and he took off down it. There were little
classes under canopies to block the sun. He could
see they were talking or doing Pilates, or yoga,
maybe meditation. Hm. Nice concept, he decided,
to actually have breakouts for P.E. Maybe this
place wouldn’t be so bad.
He fell into a rhythm. Haircut guy had said the
doctor wouldn’t be in for an hour, so what did it
matter if he cleared his head with a run? He needed
to run. Had needed it since forever. He’d always
been athletic and his mother had said he needed to
push himself.
It was less than an hour and he was back,
entering the front of the resort, passing the security
desk and giving the stupid haircut a don’t mess with
me kind of look.
Clark picked up a phone and glared back at
him.
When B.C. got to his room, there was a guy in a
white coat there.
A doctor looking guy.
For a second, he thought of that stupid hospital
he’d been at in D.C when he’d gotten back from his
tour and his knee was busted up. He thought of
laying there for hours and having the doctor put
some crap in his head about how this wasn’t his
fault, he would get through it, and that there was so
much more to life. Oh, wait, yes, this was the main
thing: That it had all been worth it.
That entire time, the only thing he could think
about was his friend Troy who hadn’t been in that
hospital with him. Who hadn’t made it. Who hadn’t
been able to get talked to by a shrink for hours
while he couldn’t freaking go anywhere.
He’d been jealous of Troy.
For dying.
The doctor in B.C.’s prison cell looked
inquisitive and put his hand out. “Mr. Knight, I
heard you’d checked in.”
Stopping, B.C. ripped his ear buds out and put
on his play nice face. The one he could summon
from several characters, but he currently didn’t
want to summon. “Hey Doc."
“Doctor Schneider.”
That was how it would be, B.C. noted.
He pumped the doctor’s hand and then blew
past him into his room.
The doctor followed. “So Clark informed me
you went off running. That’s not allowed without
getting permission first."
B.C. found a glass and filled it with sink water,
wondering if they would have premium water or if
he would have to get some lemons while he was
here. He sucked back a long drink. “Sorry,” he said,
and his tone conveying to both of them he didn’t
mean it.
The doctor waited and B.C. sized him up. He
was probably in his early fifties, B.C. judged.
Probably from St. George. This would be a pretty
posh job. Was he good? B.C. inwardly winced.
Where any shrinks good? If they were, he’d already
be fixed, with enough time he’d spent with
therapists.
“So you can’t be doing that. Next time you get
a checkmark and if you get three checkmarks, we
call the judge.”
Anger rolled through B.C. “Oh, teacher, sorry,
next time I’ll wait for the bell.”
Dr. Schneider took in a long, slow breath. “We
are tight on structure the first two weeks.” He held
out the clipboard to him. “I have your schedule on
this sheet.”
B.C. hedged. More freedom taken away.
Perfect. He took the clipboard and knew he wasn’t
being accommodating, but didn’t care. He looked
over an hour by hour map of his days. Which
included therapy, exercise, yoga, Pilates, the
meditation stuff he saw happening out there.
Individual therapy. He saw group meals. Movie
nights. What was he at…an adult daycare?
Oh yeah…he was.
Bored, he tossed the clipboard onto the bed and
turned away from the doctor. “Fine.” He had to
deal with this. He longed for another pain pill and
wondered what he would do to make it through
thirty days of this.
There had been so many times since he’d
started the pills again, that he’d wanted to stop. But
how? His willpower hadn’t been enough. Dang it,
he wanted to hit something. He sucked in a breath,
feeling edgy.
The doctor asked, “B.C., are you okay?”
B.C. didn’t answer. It was one of those
moments the Army tells you about that when
you’re captured, you never give away pertinent
information on troop movements? Well, maybe he
didn’t have troop movements, but he had his own
mission. Do his time and get out. Get back to life.
He closed his eyes and told himself to be okay. He
needed to find a character. Something to tap into
and become while he was here, to help get through
it. He went through the character list in his brain.
He thought of what Kira had said about ‘the
jacket’.
“B.C.” The doctor said his name in a low voice.
B.C.’s eyes shot open. He turned to face him.
The doctor had taken off his glasses and was
letting out a long breath. “I know you don’t want to
be here. I know you don’t like having your freedom
taken away. I know you are probably starting to get
edgy for a pill.”
B.C., once again, wouldn’t confirm or deny the
accusations. He was still reading this doctor and
wasn’t sure if the doctor was a friend or a foe.
The doctor held up a pill.
B.C. was surprised to see that it was nearly like
the pill he’d just taken only an hour ago. “Give it to
me.” Every part of him surged and he wanted
another.
“Ah, no.” The doctor slipped it into his pocket.
B.C. would slam him.
The doctor let out a breath. “Clark said when
he searched your bag, he found this one pill. I don’t
know if you dropped it. I would say you will
probably be having some serious withdrawals this
first week.”
All B.C. could think about was the pill.
The doctor moved for the door. “Take the time
to get unpacked and settled in.”
B.C. started to feel like a tied up prisoner. “I
can’t stay here.”
The doctor turned back. “It’s going to get
worse, son, before it gets better. The next week is
going to be hell." He gestured to the large floor to
ceiling window and the resort mountains. “We’re
forty miles from anyplace on purpose. You can’t
run far enough to get a pill. And the whole point is,
it’s time to stop running and figure this stuff out.”
Even though B.C. knew it was true, anger raged
inside of him. Anger that he was addicted to these
stupid pills, anger that he’d allowed himself to get
to this point, anger that now he would pay. All he
could see was the look in Troy’s eyes as the blood
gushed out of him and he took his last breath.
B.C. turned to the wall and punched it as hard
as he could.
K
C H A P T E R 4
One week later
ira drove out to the posh Red
Rock Acres rehab facility and
thought of Movie Star boy, B.C.
Knight. Truthfully, he’d plagued her thoughts far
too often the past week. That awful night when
she’d just put Nana’s body in the ground and then
gone to the club had been a mistake. She’d only
gone because Kevin had told her they could keep
each other company. Yeah, she pffted. That had
worked so well. She’d ended up dancing with B.C.,
ended up going to Dixie Rock with him. Ended up
telling him things about Nana that somehow made
her feel like she’d bonded with him. Then that kiss.
She wouldn’t lie, it had kept her awake at night.
Now, it had actually been his confession that he
was in Southern Utah for rehab that got her
thinking about a job at Red Rocks Rehab. When
she’d seen that ad in the classifieds for a meditation
and yoga instructor she’d been interested. After all,
Kevin didn’t want her in his business day in and
day out at the ranch. Sure, they’d been spending
the last week going through Nana’s things, but it
looked like Kevin wanted to keep the ranch and she
was okay with that, if the numbers could support it.
Frankly, she was overwhelmed with the antiquated
system for tracking everything and Kevin had told
her she needed to give him some space to figure
things out for a few weeks.
So, she’d decided to get a job. This one had
somehow opened up at the right time.
It didn’t help that her boyfriend had been
uncommunicative. Spence. Anger seethed inside of
her. Was he still even her boyfriend? What kind of
boyfriend didn’t come to her Nana’s funeral? Or
send flowers? Or, shoot, even a condolences text?
It had settled into the center of her chest. She’d
fallen in love with Spence because of his love of
saving the world, but at the moment she just
wanted him. He’d told her he couldn’t leave the
project, so she had dealt with it.
She was resenting having to deal with it more
and more. Resenting Spence.
Now, as she pulled up to the facility, she found
herself more impressed than she’d expected to be
with its massive size and the sheer beauty of it. The
way the architecture of the facility really was
complemented by the red rock, the mountains and
the desert around them. She couldn’t wait to
practice yoga in this setting.
Getting out of her red VW bug, she pulled out
her bag with her yoga mat and oils. She didn’t
know what the interview would entail, but she
wanted to be professional. The only thing she
worried about was that she hadn’t been certified
since high school. When she’d gone to Julliard
she’d focused on dance and let all of that go.
She still practiced herself. She had perfect
technique, if she did say so herself. Worry settled
into her. She needed a job. Needed…something in
her life.
She thought of the scholarship application she’d
filled out a couple of days ago. Spence had always
told her that only the really good kids got
scholarships.
It made her angry at herself that she had never
applied until now. She probably wouldn’t get it but
she had to try.
Walking into the facility, she was quietly taken
aback at the fountain in the center with the statue
of the man holding the Earth on his shoulders. She
moved to the front desk.
A guy flashed a wide grin at her. A really tall
guy. He did a sweep of her body, but not in a weird
way. She was used to the sweep, especially when
she wore her dance clothes, but she tried to just be
professional. “Hi, I’m here for the interview. Pilates
and yoga instructor, meditation leader.”
The guy’s smile went wider. Truthfully, his face
wasn’t bad, but, his haircut looked really red neck
somehow, like it didn’t match his tallness.
He stretched his hand out. “I’m Clark, nice to
meet you.” He hesitated, seeming to get lost
looking at her for a second.
The girl standing at the desk, a petite girl, who
was smacking her gum and had ridiculous fake
eyelashes, the kind that felt like they could reach
out and snap at you, elbowed him. “Clark, quit
gawking, call Dr. Schneider.” She turned to Kira
and grinned. “I’m Tricia. Nice to meet you.”
Kira instantly liked Tricia. “I’m Kira.”
Tricia nodded and then gave her body a sweep.
“You do look like a yogi. Quiet grace. Long
length.” Tricia stretched her body out. Her short,
petite body. “If I do the exercises will my body
stretch?”
Clark mumbled something on the phone, then
got off and annoyingly looked at Tricia. “Yeah, I’m
sure.” Then he swung his gaze back to Kira and
plastered on a Ken doll smile. “I’ll take you to the
doctor’s office.”
"Okay.”
Tricia winked at her. “Don’t worry, the doc is
great.”
Nervous butterflies assaulted her as she took off
to follow Clark.
He turned and slowed his pace. “So you’re
applying for the job?”
It felt obvious, but she could tell he was trying
to make small talk. “Yep.”
He nodded. “Are you qualified?” he asked, with
a touch of judgement to his tone.
She wanted to say, "Have you heard of
Julliard? Have you heard of the best Arts program
in the world?" but she had to check her ego. After
all, look at her. She pretty much was nothing at the
moment and she had to get through this summer,
help figure out the ranch and then decide what to
do. Would she go back for her final year?
There was just too much to deal with. She drew
in a deep breath as they got to the door that had a
neat plaque with "Dr. Schneider” engraved on it.
Clark knocked and they heard, "Come in."
Before Clark opened the door he turned to her.
“Hey, just so you know, the staff can hang out.
Even though we can’t hang with the patients, we
can hang with each other.”
Kira wanted to tell the guy she wouldn’t hang
out with him, because she wasn’t the hang out type.
Besides she had a boyfriend. Who wanted to think
about Spence anyway? “Cool.”
“Cool.” Clark repeated and opened the door.
Kira hadn’t known what to expect, but this
room wasn’t it. It was large and grand and if this
place was a palace, this would be the king’s library.
It had the same arched ceiling feeling to it as she
imagined would be in any castle. It had a moose
head-like chandelier in the center. She figured it
could be from some king’s castle or a
Shakespearean play.
“Thank you, Clark.” The doctor said, clearly
dismissing him.
Clark gave her a half smile, which she returned
but knew her smile was awkward. She didn’t know
what to say.
The doctor waved her in and stood. He was
average height, average build, balding, a beard, and
glasses. Kind eyes.
“Hi there. I’m Dr. Schneider. I’m the
psychiatrist here, but I pretty much run the place,
it’s small enough. I bring in help when I need it.”
She was still nervous, but introduced herself.
"Kira Moonwater.”
The doctor pushed his glasses back. “I got your
resume on my email and it’s impressive.” He
looked up at her. “Julliard.”
She nodded, but was happy that had been
important to him.
His look turned inquisitive. “But, to be honest
with you, that wasn’t why I asked you to come
here.”
Her heart sank. “It wasn’t?”
Shaking his head, a small smile washed over his
face. “Would your grandmother have been
Lulubelle?”
Immediately, she felt the jolt of sadness hearing
her nickname, but she simply said, “Yes.”
The doctor took on a look of sympathy. “I’m
sorry about her passing. I was actually at the
viewing, but I doubt you remember, there were so
many.”
She thought of the overwhelming response from
the community and it made tears come to her eyes.
“Nana was loved.”
The doctor nodded and blinked. “Yes, she was.
A good lady. So, when I saw your last name, I knew
I had to have you come out for the interview.”
She’d always been proud of her last name.
“Thank you.”
His smile widened. “I don’t know if you know
this, but your grandmother and I have been teaming
up for many years to find remedies for some
emotional issues my clients have.” He tsked his
tongue. "I don’t know what I will do without her
and her remedies.”
Kira thought of the whole section of the kitchen
with cast iron culinary and herbs hanging upside
down, all the containers, where she had watched,
then eventually helped her grandmother make
remedies. Out of nowhere, the memory of
Frankincense mixed with clove bubbling through
the air hit her. She remembered burning herself and
her grandmother taking a few drops of lavender and
putting it in a cold bowl of water. The burn had
magically gone away. The memory was so
powerful, the way her grandmother had held her
while she’d kept her hand in the water and
smoothed her forehead and whispered reassuring
words. “Somewhere in Time.” She found tears
coming to her eyes and she blinked.
“I’m sorry." The doctor whispered, taking a
step closer to her and gently putting his hand on her
forearm. “I’m so sorry.”
She blinked harder and took a step back, not
wanting to cry. “Thank you.” She grasped to find
some stability in her mind. Something that would
focus her.
Dr. Schneider cleared his throat. “Okay, so
here’s the deal. We need complete confidentiality
here. Our clients have to know that our staff won’t
leak anything.”
This took her off guard. “I would never do
that.”
“Right.” He pulled out a file. “Well, I need you
to sign these disclosures and just so you know, we’ll
need fingerprints, a full background check, and
routine drug checks.”
She took the papers and started to sign them.
“Of course.”
He sighed. “And I hate to have to spell this out,
but you’re signing a contract that you won’t take
any illegal drugs or prescribed medications here. If
you see any, tell us immediately. We confiscate
them from time to time, but you don’t need to
challenge anyone. Just let us know.”
“I don’t take drugs,” she said defensively.
He put up a hand. "I know. I know.”
At just that moment, she looked out his window
and saw the most random thing.
A man boxing. Well, not boxing so much as
hitting a heavy bag. He was so striking with the
force and violence of him, compared to everything
else going on at the facility, that it stunned her for a
second.
Seeming to sense her distraction, the doctor
turned with her and let out a sigh. "I know. He had
to have something to hit." The doctor shook his
head and turned back to her. "Usually, with my
patients I can speak to them with meditation and
yoga, Pilates, tai chi…but unfortunately, he doesn’t
speak that soothing language and he’s not good at
tapping into it.” He took in another breath. “But
I’m not judging. Oh no." He waved his hand. "I
learned a long time ago so many things affect each
of us that we have to just be. Exist. We have to find
how to handle those inner demons and what
language they speak and if they must be exorcised
by violence, because of inner or external things,
then that is the way to get to them. To purify them.
At least, as much as possible.” The side of his lip
turned up. He wagged a finger at her. "See, this is
where I would ask your grandmother for help.
Something to soothe him.”
The boxer rotated around the bag, bringing his
face into view. Two things got her attention at this
point. One was that those were the lips that had
been on hers. That was B.C. Knight. That night a
week ago hadn’t been just in her imagination. Not
that she didn’t know it wasn’t imagined, but part of
her had felt it was so dreamlike. The way they’d
talked and shared.
The second thing was the violence. The
complete precise way he used his body as a weapon
as he not only punched the bag, but unexpectedly
flew off the ground and did a round house kick at
it.
Of course this week she’d Googled the man.
She’d found out even more about him. It hit her in
the pit of her gut. She really wanted to get to know
this man.
Instantly, it was like she knew what he needed.
“Lavender, to soothe him. Maybe mix in hot lemon
water. At the end of the day. I think.”
The doctor gave her an interesting look.
She shrugged. “I just know. I…Kevin says I
have that talent.”
She put her hand over her mouth, wishing she
could gulp back those words. Why had she said
that?
Hesitating for a moment, he laughed and then
pulled his glasses off.
“I should not have said that.” She really
couldn’t believe herself. “I’m not Nana.”
Dr. Schneider still looked happy. He put his
glasses back on. “I see. I have always been under
the belief that herbs are here on Earth to help us. I
believe that about medicine too, but it gets dicier in
the world of addiction.” He paused. “Yes, some
nighttime lavender tea would be good for him I
believe as well. Maybe a dash of…”
“Coriander," she filled in for him. “He needs a
transformation.”
He turned a quick smile to her.
Her heart thumped, but she knew. She just did.
Knew what B.C. needed.
The doctor let out a deep breath. “Well, Ms.
Moonwater, maybe you would consider not just
doing the yoga, meditation, and Pilate classes, but
maybe you would consider filling this product list
for me.”
He went to his desk and pulled out a sheet then
handed it to her. It was a product sheet she’d seen
randomly, but hadn’t really thought about. It was
her grandmother’s writing and she saw the prices
on the potions.
It stunned her. They were expensive.
Dr. Schneider pulled her back to reality. “I think
it’s how she helped pay for your Arts school.” He
winked at her.
Her pulse raced. Was this how she’d done it?
Who else was she selling them to? A million
questions flashed through her mind.
She looked up into the doctor's kind brown eyes
and it was one of those times in her life when it felt
like everything had brought her to this moment.
Like the universe, God, the Creator—had brought
her to this. She nodded. “I can try.” She could make
the products, right? She could have Kevin help. She
could figure it out. What was that saying?
Creativity comes from desperation. Something like
that. Her grandmother had said that to her, too.
He smiled at her, looking at her bag. “Okay,
well, here’s the deal. I have four classes that need
to be taught today. If you can teach them I’ll pay
you forty dollars per class.”
Wow. She’d known instructors got paid well
here. This was pretty amazing. She didn’t want to
tell him she’d let her certifications lapse, but felt
she should. “I’m not certified anymore, I’m sorry.”
He nodded. “Well, then I guess I’ll pay for you
to get recertified, too.”
This dumbfounded her. “You’ll pay for it?”
He grinned at her and reached his hand out.
“Yes.” He flashed her a smile. “Now go talk to
Clark and Tricia. They know how to orientate you
and will help fill out the new employee paperwork.
Your first class is at three.” He looked at his watch.
Her mind was whirling, not only with the fact
that she got a job, but a good job that would pay
over a hundred dollars a day. That was huge for
her.
Startled, she felt someone looking at her. She
knew who it was.
Their eyes met and B.C.’s blue, dazzling, movie
star eyes seemed to pierce her soul.
His shirt was off, sweat was dripping down the
side of his face, and his hands were still curled.
Sweat pouring, his beautiful, dark hair all
modelesque, he seriously looked like a cologne
commercial at the moment. It was like they had met
all over again, in a dream. In the dreams she’d been
having about that kiss.
“Ms. Moonwater."
The doctor’s voice jerked her back to reality
and she felt her erratic heartbeat and could hardly
breathe. There was something that tied her to that
man.
The doctor turned to look at B.C. then back to
her. “Oh well,” he let out what sounded like an
uncomfortable laugh. “B.C. will be in your classes
today. I’m proud of the work he’s done. It’ll be
good for him.”
Y
C H A P T E R 5
eah, he’d seen her through the glass.
B.C. stood in the shower of the
posh suite. The shower even had glass
that looked out over the manicured
grounds of the facility. Of course, it was one-way
glass – rich people’s glass. The kind where you
always get the view, but the people on the other
side don’t even know you’re looking at them.
B.C. had seen her clearly.
Dang, if she hadn’t looked like the blonde vixen
from the night at the club.
Would he admit that he’d thought about that
kiss?
No.
It’d been innocent. He hadn’t understood her
being upset and shoving him. How many women
would die to have him kiss them and even more,
pay to put it on the social media sites?
Fine, she did have a boyfriend. He could tell
she wasn’t that kind of woman.
Maybe that’s why he’d been so drawn to her.
Why he hadn’t been able to get her out of his mind.
It was almost like the habit of thinking about drugs
had shifted to thinking about her. Honestly, it was
what had driven him to demand a punching bag
around this place.
He wondered why she’d been here. She was a
performer at Julliard, what would she be doing
here?
He finished the shower and got out, toweling
off quickly. He had a group session, then snack,
which he always opted for a protein shake, then
mandatory yoga. Joy.
Then his mind flipped to the fact she’d been
wearing yoga type clothes. They’d been down an
instructor.
Hope filled him.
Throwing on clothes, he headed to the group
session down the hall thinking of her. Would she be
the new yoga instructor? Dang, she’d be good. He
knew that just from dancing with her. Lithe, long,
lean. And graceful.
He was glad he went through the hardest ‘dry
out’ part last week. It’d been hard. He wasn’t sure
what the doctor had given him to help ease the pain
of drying him out, but he felt measurably better
every day without the use of drugs.
This was huge. No pills. No alcohol.
His mind flashed to her. Was it stupid that this
had been the first thing he’d been excited about all
week? The fact she might be working here?
When they had both stared at each other
through the glass, did she feel it too?
Talk about chemistry. Chemistry in a way he’d
never felt before. He’d felt lust, thought he’d been
in love once after getting home from the military
and before really starting his acting career. And…
he’d been attracted to women. A lot. But this. He
was a live wire and she was picking up all of his
electrical senses and shaking them around. Every
part of him was on edge. He got to the room they
had the therapy in and commanded himself to
breathe. He was trying to ‘show improvement’ to
the group. Out of nowhere, he wondered about the
idiot Africa boyfriend.
He re-focused on the group. The first week had
been like a slow torture, including being dragged to
group therapy. Truth be told, all B.C. could
remember was some kind of peppermint smell. It
had been comforting. The first week had still been
like five layers of hell. He’d been feverish, which
he hated. DTs, or the shakes, had made his body
shake like he was playing the role of an earthquake.
But his appetite was back even though the
jitteriness hadn’t completely gone away. So that
was good.
Dr. Schneider had made the decision he
wouldn’t get his phone even after his first week
was up. He’d told him taking a break from the
pressures of social media was helpful and the
doctor thought B.C. needed his head clear. Then
B.C. had approached him about a bag to hit and he
could tell the doc didn’t want to agree to it. After
an hour of taking the doctor through why punching
something really did clear his palette, the doctor
had relented as long as B.C. stopped pushing the
phone issue.
He was actually starting to like the doctor.
Which was strange. He didn’t make B.C. talk about
all the crap in his past. Rather, he told B.C. stories
about growing up on a ranch in Canada. He had
found himself liking the way those stories and the
‘lessons’ in them, actually made him reflect on
things in his own life. The doctor didn’t push. That
aspect of this place was so much better than he’d
expected.
Group session, here he was. It was only his
second time. The other three people were all actors,
too, but not A Listers. Gary, an older guy he didn’t
even know, was clearly trying to work B.C. for
some help getting into another movie. He kept
trying to tell him about all these old Three’s
Company shows he’d been an extra in.
Another, a lady named Tina, looked completely
absent sometimes and angry at other times. She was
kind. She’d been in a soap opera in the early
nineties. B.C. had wondered if she was okay.
Sometimes it felt she wasn’t even paying attention
but at other times she would hone right in and say
something pretty profound.
Then there was the Kardashian of the group,
Zoe. She was obsessed with her finger nails, and
talking about the pressures of plastic surgery, which
she’d clearly had her fair share of. Her face never
moved; it was locked in a perpetual surprise.
The doctor started the group session by posing a
question about strategies they personally used or
could you imagine using for staying clean?
Surprisingly, it was a good discussion. Not
surprisingly, Zoe said she liked to go to the beach as
a distraction from the mirror.
“Stillness,” she said, in a somewhat nasally,
uppity, diva sounding voice. “I need stillness and if
I find a place to go when I get to feeling like I need
a drug, it helps.”
Gary offered. “Sex.” He sniffed and gave a
longing look to the women.
B.C. ignored him.
Tina, the soap opera star, gave B.C. what he
could only describe as a cougar smile.
There were several other answers. B.C. didn’t
respond. He hadn’t honestly thought about a
strategy.
Most of the time, with his addiction, he’d gotten
used to just berating himself. To thinking all military
—you do or you don’t, you win or you lose. He
should have the will power.
Finally, Dr. Schneider turned to him. “B.C., any
thoughts?”
“Thoughts?" This was putting him out of his
comfort zone.
The doctor smiled. “Think about your thoughts.
We’ll talk later.” He winked.
They covered a few less interesting topics and
B.C. remained just as quiet. They closed the session
and then Dr. Schneider pulled him aside. “Can I
talk to you for a second?”
B.C. nodded. “Okay.”
“B.C., I wanted to bring up the fact, you need
to find some strategy to deal with your drug use. To
replace it. Something to do in place of when you
want to do drugs.”
He grunted.
The doctor looked sympathetic. “You’ve said
before, ‘I’ll just quit, but that hasn’t worked for
you.”
B.C. didn’t like the doctor pushing him. “I’m
hitting a bag.”
“True.” The doctor agreed. “I think that’s a
good place to start.” He exhaled and gave B.C. a
concerned look. “In my experience, if a person
comes here because it’s court ordered, one of two
things will happen; they either buy in to recovery
and really get clean or, they fail. The second group
ends up right back on pills or drugs and this whole
process was a waste of time.”
B.C. thought about the fact he did want to be
clean. That desire grew inside of him. “I want to be
part of the first group, doc.” He decided to be
honest. “I just don’t know how.”
The doctor’s face turned compassionate and he
nodded. “I’m glad you’re being honest, that’s the
first step.”
B.C. nodded and sucked in a breath. “I look at
people, I’ve looked at them for a long time and I’ve
wanted to be free. Free from addiction. I just…” he
broke off, feeling emotional. “I haven’t been able
to do it. I’m just weak.” Self-loathing washed over
him.
The doctor shook his head. “You’re not weak,
B.C., but…this is a weakness for you.”
That made no sense.
The doctor gestured to him. “You obviously,
don’t have a weakness for carbs or chocolate, like I
do.”
B.C. swept his eyes over the doc, who was a bit
paunchy. “Not the same.”
“True.” The doctor leaned forward, getting
more intense. “Not as destructive, but not good for
me.”
B.C. didn’t think they were on the same page at
all.
“My point,” the doctor said, “is that all of us
have to find reasons we want what we want bad
enough. I’m sure for you, you have just made it
your standard that you don’t eat junk because you
don’t want to look like me.” He flashed a smile.
“And I’m not offended by that.” The doctor smiled.
“Hey, I haven’t made a choice I want to live your
life, all buff and good-looking. I mean it would be
horrible to have women stare at me the way they
stare at you.”
B.C. let out a light laughed, because he could
sense the doctor’s kindness.
“B.C., you have to find the reasons you buy in
to your own recovery. You have to dig deep and
find those reasons, no one can give them to you.”
B.C. suddenly thought of Kira and how she’d
talked about her Nana and God. “Maybe I don’t
have any.”
The doctor let out a breath. “I don’t think that’s
true. I think you just need to think about it. You
know, there’s a lot of good drug and alcohol
programs that focus on tapping into a higher power.
You might thing about that.”
B.C. thought about the last time he really felt
God in his life. It’d been during the war. He looked
away from the doctor.
The doctor moved toward the door, then turned
back. “And, there’s another thing.”
B.C. felt nervous, instantly. “Okay.”
An intense look swept over his face. "Here’s
the deal. I don't know what you have going on with
Ms. Moonwater, but just let her be, okay?”
This took him completely off guard. “What?”
The doctor nudged him. “I may be a doctor of
healing, but I can see a broken heart and when you
two were looking at each other…” he broke off and
shook his head. “I don’t know, I would just ask that
you let Ms. Moonwater deal with some things first."
It was ridiculous that the doctor would even say
this. The words came out before he could take them
back. “Did she tell you that we kissed?”
Now the doctor’s eyes widened and he looked
baffled. “How have you kissed her already?”
B.C., realizing all his ability to keep his mouth
shut had obviously been lost when he’d quit the
pills, threw his hands up. “I met her the night
before coming here and I kissed her.”
The doctor let out a long breath. “This is not
good. Lulubelle would not have liked this.”
“Lulu who?”
The doctor waved a hand. “Never mind.
Just…” He let out another breath. “Please don’t
kiss her in the class you have with her this
afternoon.” The doctor shook his head. “Keep it
professional, B.C. For your sake and hers.”
B.C.
SAT
IN
YOGA
CLASS
, or better, he half-sat half-
stretched his leg to the side and felt like he would
die. She’d worked them amazingly hard.
Her body wasn’t just a long, lean body, it was
trained to twist and turn in all sorts of ways.
Clearly, she was trying to kill them.
“I want you to feel the stretch,” Moonwater
said. He smiled as he thought of her last name.
Oh man, he could have fun with that last name.
Then he felt her hands on his shoulders, pushing
him further into the stretch. “Let yourself breath
and extend."
He liked her hands on his shoulders. How did
he tell her everything he liked about her? The lithe,
long, graceful way she moved around the room.
The way her blonde, curly short hair seemed to
flow with the pink flowy thing she wore over the
black unitard. Everything about the woman felt
feminine.
When they’d started the class, his heart had
raced so fast he’d thought he was having a panic
attack, but it had nothing to do with the exercise.
She’d been completely professional, introducing
herself as Kira. He liked that name, too. He thought
Yoga Moonwater had a ring to it also, no one could
deny it.
She moved back to the front and went easily
into the pose she had them planted in. “Okay, now I
want you to move to downward dog.”
She easily bridged her body to that position.
There were five people, including him, in this
class. There was light, flowing, water kind of music
playing. There was the smell of something in the
air. Something he wasn’t sure what, but he was
actually feeling relaxed today.
He tried to go back to downward dog, grunting
and knowing his body would probably scream at
him tomorrow a lot more for this than it would for a
three-hour punching, kicking session on the bag.
He’d always resisted this type of instruction as
much as he could. Some movie producers
demanded it for technique and smoothness in
movements, so he did it. He could tolerate it. It just
wasn’t his favorite.
She continued her professional posture, taking
them through all the moves. What could he say? He
liked her style. It was just like her—lithe, lean,
graceful. By the end of class, he found he was
sweating but he felt really good. She ended the
class with, “Namaste.”Which they all repeated
back.
Most people started shuffling off, but the older
nineteen-seventies guy, Gary, stayed back and tried
to chat her up. “Have you ever watched Three’s
Company? I was on the sixth episode, the
fourteenth, the twenty-sixth.”
She gave him a very curt, unimpressed look,
then succinctly put things away, turned off the
diffuser, then turned the music doc off of her
phone. “Well, nice to meet you, Gary, I must go
now.”
She sounded nurse-like. Why did he think that?
Maybe like she was trying out to be a nurse in a
movie. She was just being orderly.
He waited until Gary left, crossing his arms
when Gary looked at him expectantly, saying 'we
have to leave' without using words.
He gave Gary a ‘take off and I won’t rearrange
your face’ look.
Luckily, Gary took the hint and left.
Suddenly, all the pretense was gone. She turned
and asked quietly, “How are you?”
Her words melted inside of him. It was strange
at how soft they sounded. It sounded like she really
cared. “I’m okay.” He felt himself smile and
realized it was a real deep down type of smile.
She nodded.
He coughed. “Anyway, how’s Kevin? How’s
the ranch?” It was funny to him, that she’d been
part of his other life and now this life.
She shrugged and turned to the large window
that overlooked another section of the mountains.
The sun was still high in the sky. “He’ll be happy I
got a job today and can stay out of his hair a little
bit." She shrugged. “We're still trying to figure out
what to do with the ranch.”
He wanted to say something. To ask something
else, but he didn’t know what to ask. “I’ve thought
of you.” It actually didn’t sound as lame as it could
have.
She didn’t respond.
“How’s … the Africa guy?” he didn’t mean to
say it like a checkmate, but he couldn’t help it.
It was even better when their eyes met and she
looked bugged. “None of your business.”
It actually made him feel better she was just
treating him like a normal person. He grunted. “I
was wondering if you were all right. You’re the
only thing I’ve thought about besides my own
problems.” He didn’t like being vulnerable or even
sounding that way.
Their eyes held and finally she blinked and
shook her head. “I can’t talk about that kiss.”
Man, she was breaking his heart. He full on
grinned. “Proves you’re thinking about it.”
She let out a loud laugh and turned for the door,
but didn’t leave yet. “Oh, the movie star ego."
He liked that he felt more himself with her. The
past couple of days he’d felt not at all like himself
and he knew it was the absence of pills. All the
thoughts he'd been having seemed foreign. He
followed her to the door. It was just nice to flirt for
a minute. “How’s Spence again?”
She hesitated. “You remembered his name.”
Dang, that did show he was paying close
attention to the stupid boyfriend. “I remembered
he’s an idiot.”
She walked out of the room and waited for him.
“I shouldn’t be talking to you about that.”
He shrugged. “Why?”
“I don’t know. I work here. I need to keep
things confidential.”
It felt like she was grasping for a reason not to
talk to him. “Is Spence confidential?” He was
humored that she clearly felt a bit nervous, too. “I
mean, the guy’s not even in the country, so I don’t
think he’d qualify as a confidential topic.”
A look of what was hopelessness or misery
washed over her face. “I don’t want to talk about
it." She put her yoga master face in place.
He felt like a puppy begging for a treat at her
side but he didn’t care. “Have you heard from him?
Did he even call yet?” Was he really pushing her
for information about her boyfriend?
“I have to go, see you tomorrow,” she
whispered and took off fast down the hall.
He watched her go and thought of that first
night on the dance floor with her, twirling her
around in the air. He thought of the freedom he’d
felt. The realness. The grace and the beauty.
He kept watching as she gave Clark and Tricia a
key then turned for the front doors.
It was stupid how happy it made him when she
turned and looked back, catching his eye before
walking out.
Happiness surged within him. Things at Red
Rocks Acres just got a bit more impactful. He
wondered if he really recovered and got clean …
could he have a woman like her?
F
C H A P T E R 6
our days later, Kira was just
finishing the day around three
o’clock when she thought, again, about the fact she
hadn’t seen B.C. It’d become his kind of joke to
come to all her classes. He said he had to get
‘special permission’ to add all of her classes to his
schedule. It was more than a bit unnerving, but
also, she had to admit she liked it.
Most of the time he’d stay and flirt after. Too
bad the seventies guy, Gary, also liked to stay and
flirt. She could tell it was grinding on B.C., which
made it kind of funny.
B.C. had become such a meaningful, fun,
flirtatious part of her days. In fact, it had actually
surprised her that Doctor Schneider had asked her
to start doing a night meditation class, too. She’d
agreed, of course, because it paid another forty
bucks an hour.
She checked out at the front desk with Clark
and Tricia when Clark did his patented hit-on that
she’d also grown accustomed to.
“What are you doing tonight, Kira?” He looked
her up and down.
She was tired of him acting like he could just
stare at her all the time. She pulled her shrug tight
around her shoulders.
Tricia smiled at her, but rolled her eyes at Clark.
"We’re all going out, meeting at the dance club
your cousin works at. Want to meet us?"
She didn’t. “Uh, can’t.” She couldn’t. It was
exhausting going through all Nana’s records and
she was still trying to figure out the system and the
recipes and learn how to fill all the orders Doctor
Schneider had been asking for.
Clark’s gaze swept her from top to bottom. He
was one of those guys who looked clean cut, but he
always gave her a weird vibe. “Are you sure?”
She tried not to look creeped out. “I better go.”
That’s when she heard the shouting before she
saw him.
“You selfish, ungrateful, brat!” There was a
woman stalking down the hall from Dr. Schneider’s
office.
B.C. was there, following her, his jaw tight, and
his eyes bloodshot. If she didn’t know better, she’d
think he’d been crying. “Don’t do this, Mom. Do.
Not. Walk. Out.”
She clicked down the hall in her stilettos and
tight, gold pants. Kira was shocked to notice
extremely long fingernails and very eighties hair-
band hair, like it had been Aqua-Netted. She had a
fierce scowl and looked like she would rip
someone’s head off.
“Mom.” B.C. caught up to her.
She spun on him. “How dare you say that to
anyone.”
Dr. Schneider appeared. “Mrs. Knight, please.
Come back to my office and we can sort this out.”
“I will not!” she shouted. She shook her head
and looked exasperated at B.C.
Kira saw B.C’s anger turn into a cool, calm
face.
He’d slipped into a mask so easily. It was
impressive, really. It also made her feel bad for him.
He narrowed his eyes at his mother and took a
step back, putting up his hands. “Fine, Mom, do
whatever you want."
She huffed and looked around at everyone in
the hall. "What are you all looking at?” She
growled, looking like a cat cornered in an alley.
“Haven’t you seen a dysfunctional son before?”
Her eyes stopped on Kira and flashed even more
anger. She pointed at her. “You…you’re the one he
met the night before he checked in here.”
B.C. was instantly next to his mother, taking her
forearm and pulling her back. “Mom, stop.”
She kept her angry glare on Kira. “Be careful,
my pretty. He told me about how you talked
beneath the stars.”
“Mother!” B.C. looked angry.
She let out a witchy laugh and turned back to
him. “I bet you were stoned, drunk, and out of your
head, like you always are.” She let out another
laugh. Her gaze turned back to Kira, she glared at
her. “I won’t even tell you what he said about
you.”
Kira was speechless.
For a brief second, B.C.’s eyes flashed to hers.
His mask actually slipped. She saw…neediness,
desperation … pain. The guy from the first night,
the one who had told her about his friend Troy
when they were sitting on the boulder “I” on top of
the Dixie rocks, looking out over the town. He
reached for his mother, putting a hand on her
shoulder. “Please stop.”
His mother yanked away and rushed to the
doors yelling back to him. “Just get your butt out of
here and get the bills paid!”
In the aftermath everyone was quiet.
Kira’s heart was racing and she couldn’t believe
how horrible it had been to see that. Kira thought
about the fact Litsea was currently diffusing in the
background. Nana always said Litsea would help
one rise above the fear of rejection and being
misunderstood, B.C. needed that right now.
Her mind flitted back to his mother. What had
he told her?
B.C. looked at her, then a ticked-off looked
washed over his face and she saw his hands clench
into fists.
She wanted to reach out to him, to soothe him
somehow.
“B.C.” Dr. Schneider was next to him, putting
his hand on his shoulder. “Let’s go back to my
office.”
They disappeared down the hall toward the
doctor’s office.
Kira walked out, thinking about B.C. It might
be stupid or completely insane, especially since he
was a movie star in a drug rehab facility. Not to
mention the fact she was in the middle of a semi
breakdown in her own life, and she’d probably lose
her job over it, but…she had to know if he was
okay. To do that, she’d have to get closer to him.
Her mind flashed to Spence and she thought
about the fact she was missing him less and
thinking about B.C. more and more. It seemed her
crazy life was only getting worse by the hour and
she wasn’t sure how she was going to fix any of it.
B
C H A P T E R 7
.C. sat outside of the facility on one of
the benches. He hadn’t been very
responsive in group therapy all day. His
mother’s exit the day before had been powerful and
indicative of his whole life. He sighed. At least he
was seeing some of the truth. His mother was a
master manipulator. Sure, she loved him. The whole
reason she said she was angry at him was because
he was supposed to pay the bills. And—if he lost
his next movie gig, where would the money come
from?
It hadn’t sat right with him how she’d used Kira
to … what? What was her master game with Kira?
Annoyance rippled through him and he turned up
his tunes on his mp3 player.
How embarrassing. He felt like he was in
middle school and his mother had found out his
crush and brought him lunch and told all his
buddies. He stood, sucking in a long breath. It’d
been quite a wake up call to realize everyone, even
his mother, wanted something from him. He took
off, wanting to go to Kira’s meditation class around
the corner, but unable to face her still.
The doctor had released him from having all his
hours in a set schedule, but he’d liked going to her
classes.
Too bad with her, he didn’t feel like he could
pretend. Couldn’t fall into one of his characters so
easily. Which was stupid and weird for him. Or
maybe that was good, he wasn’t sure at the
moment.
He took off into a jog and passed a couple of
trails before deciding last minute to try a new one.
As he almost tripped off the path from turning so
quick, he discovered a hidden trail. Not really a
trail, but a path. It went down under a rock
outcropping and opened up into a cave. He had to
crouch, but as he went in, he heard water rushing.
He climbed through the dark, dankness of the cave,
then was surprised that it opened up. The ceiling
opened and he was able to stand up straight.
The sound of water was louder here, and it took
his eyes a minute to adjust to the low light and see a
waterfall running down a rock face into a pool, and
running off into a stream.
Incredible delight washed over B.C. “No way.”
Immediately, he was taking off his shoes and socks
and stripping down. He stepped into the water,
expecting to cool his feet, but the water was warm.
With a sigh of pleasure, he immersed himself in the
water. The bottom of the pool was smooth stone
and he found himself in his own private hot tub.
“No way,” he stated again as he let the water
flow around him, loving every second of it.
He didn’t know how long he sat there, trying
not to think, but not being able to stop thinking.
Then he heard. “B.C.”
He jolted to a standing position. Luckily the
water covered his lower half. “Kira?”
She was unexpectedly right in front of him,
emerging from the low entrance. Her face turned
wondrous by degrees as her eyes adjusted. “Oh my
gosh!”
He grinned at her. “Right?”
He sat back down in the water looking
ridiculously happy she was here. They were here.
Alone. Together. Water swishing around him. It was
like a scene in a movie. “Aren’t you supposed to be
at mediation class?”
She looked around slowly, taking in the natural
wonder. When her eyes reached the pile of his
clothes, she focused in on them then abruptly took
on a look of shock. She laughed and put up a hand
as she turned away. “Oh my gosh, you’re naked,
aren’t you?”
He was mesmerized by this woman and he
didn’t want her to run off. “Wait. You can’t see
anything. I won’t move.”
She wore a black unitard with a pink shawl type
thing and flip flops.
He thought she looked amazing. So fresh and
natural. Nothing like the women on movie sets with
ten layers of makeup.
“I can’t be here.” She moved back.
Pushing ahead with his question, he asked it
again. “Why aren’t you at meditation class?”
Hesitating, she turned back. “You’re sure I
can’t see anything?”
He grinned, thinking again how she was so
different than other women he’d been around. “I
promise.”
Slowly, she turned to face him, tentatively
moving closer.
He gestured to the water. “Get in.”
Glowering at him, she shook her head. “I don’t
think so.”
Yeah, he didn’t think she’d go for it. “So why
no meditation class, Moonwater?” He liked saying
her last name.
She shrugged, turning and studying the
waterfall. “Gary is having some Three’s Company
marathon. Apparently, Dr. Schneider said it was
okay, so everyone’s there.” She shrugged and
gestured to the waterfall. “I can’t believe this."
He let out a small laugh. “I know, right? It’s
crazy. Like …” he couldn’t stop himself from
flirting with her. “Like our own private hot pool.”
Her eyes went to his chest, then away. “I have
to get out of here.” She rushed to leave.
“No!” he begged, wanting to get out and follow
her, but knowing he shouldn’t because he was
naked. “Please. I … would really like to just talk.”
Hedging, she turned back and he swore he saw
her blushing. “I could get in so much trouble. This
isn’t…”
“Hey, you didn’t know, okay. You don’t even
have to get in. Just…stay.” He immediately felt
vulnerable. “Please. For five minutes.” He pulled
out his car salesman act. “If you’re not happy being
here, you can leave. Five minutes.” He held up five
fingers.
Eyeing him, her eyes clouded. “Always pulling
out a different character, aren’t you?”
He found it relieved him that she knew when he
was doing it. “It’s easier to be someone else.”
For a beat she didn’t respond, then she said. “I
saw you switch when your mom was there.”
Checkmate.
His heart raced and he realized this woman was
able to read his mind better than he could
sometimes. Too bad when he thought of his mother
all he wanted to do was cover the fact he … hurt
inside. Pain usually sent him scrambling for pills,
but right now, he knew he’d be fine if he could just
stay here … with Kira.
Their eyes held and he had this crazy real
energy he hadn’t experienced before. Maybe on the
battlefield he’d felt intensity like this. Real, raw,
with nothing holding anyone back.
“How’s Spence?” he blurted, revealing exactly
how vulnerable he was.
She glared at him and he immediately wished he
hadn’t asked that.
“I mean…” Dang, why had he asked that?
She wagged a finger at him. “You’re just trying
not to talk about your problems.”
It felt pointless to deny it. He waved a hand
through the air. “You’re right. I am.” Man, it
sucked being real sometimes.
He noticed her eyes trailing to his chest.
Even better distraction. He pumped his pecs
back and forth.
Their eyes met again and she shook her head
looking caught, but she started to laugh. “I…I’m
sorry.”
Without missing a beat he said, “I feel cheap.”
She laughed harder.
Oh how he liked it, relished it, wanted more of
it. This woman and the way she blushed when he
caught her checking him out. She was … so
refreshing. Like a new addiction to him. Similar to
fireworks on the Fourth of July when he was a kid
and it would end, but everyone would wait for
more. He’d always hoped for one more finale.
Addiction wouldn’t be the right word for it, but
there was something about her he couldn’t get
enough of. That’s where he was with this woman. It
rocked him to realize this.
A shift happened between them and he felt the
intensity ratcheted up a notch. Man, this would be
great emotional tension in a movie scene.…They
were co-writing it right now. Dang, he wanted to
kiss her again.
She glared at him and he could tell she was
embarrassed. “I bet you get women staring at your
chest all the time.”
He didn’t answer. On purpose. Kind of enjoying
her embarrassment. How many women had he
dated recently who’d been…not at all embarrassed
about anything?
“You’re just … I don’t know why I’m still
here,” she said, crossing her arms and leaning
against the cave wall.
Seeing her get a little bit comfortable made him
unreasonably happy.
He laughed and purposefully tried to ease the
tension, smiling. “Fan Girl. You can’t help it, that’s
okay.”
“Ha. Ha.”
He snapped, “Wait, what you really meant that
night at the dance club was that you loved my
movies and you really liked the scene with the
Brooklyn mob, can’t get enough of my Brooklyn.”
He started into some phrases. “Hey, give me a
quarter for some coffee.”
She laughed again and he basked in the beauty
of the sound of it as it echoed off the rocks and
over the water. It was like soaring with this woman.
He couldn’t stop more phrases from the movie from
coming out. “I’m not a mobster, but I can be a
great addition to your organization.”
She cocked an eyebrow. “You have obviously
thought about what I said that night.”
Caught. He let out a laugh, trying to play it
cool. So what if he had? So what if, as he stumbled
through his drug withdrawal state over the last two
weeks, he’d been practicing that stupid accent,
thinking about how it resonated through his mouth.
Thinking about what she would think about
different iterations of the accents. He let a small
smile play at his lips. “Maybe I care what you
think.”
The next words out of her mouth surprised him.
“I was worried about you after yesterday."
The realness of this moment took him off guard,
he blinked and looked away. “I was fine.”
“Just because you say it, doesn’t make it real.”
She whispered.
He looked back at her, feeling all this concern
coming off of her. She was busting his act all over
the place and he really didn’t know what to say.
“Do you and your mom get along?”
He scoffed. “You The Enquirer?”
She grunted. “If that’s why you think I’m here,
I’m going.” She turned for the exit.
“I don’t think that’s why you’re here.” He said
quickly, his heartrate increasing.
She hesitated.
“The truth sucks, okay.” He was playing the
pity card. Too bad he felt pitiful.
She turned back to him. “Are you going to talk
to me? As B.C.?”
It annoyed him, as much as he liked it, that she
could tell if it was him talking versus a character.
“I’m sorry. I just….”
Not moving, she nodded. “I get it. You don’t
know exactly who you are at the moment. That’s
okay.” She let out a light laugh. “That’s actually not
just a trait of an actor, ya know? Sometimes none of
us know who we are at different moments.”
He thought of the first night he’d met her, how
wild she’d been. He grinned. “I actually still liked
you that night, you know.”
Again, this realness that kept happening
between them happened again.
He shrugged. “I pretty much like all the
versions I’ve seen of you.” So what, he was laying
it all out. So what? That’s how he felt and he was
tired of wearing a freaking mask every second. “I
like you, Kira. I don’t know if I’d even be the right
guy for you.” He snorted, feeling messy. “You have
a boyfriend.” He stated in an annoyed voice. “All I
know is you’re different than other women I’ve
been around.” He laughed at himself again. “Not
that I’ve been around women of such …” how did
he put it. “Quality before.” Had he just said that?
He cringed and pinched the bridge of his nose.
“Never mind. I’m saying this all wrong.”
When she didn’t respond right away he looked
up at her.
For a few moments they just stared at each
other. It was the hardest character scene he’d ever
done because … it wasn’t a scene at all.
It was him. And her. Just two people, sharing
something real.
“I broke it off with Spence.” She said and held
his eyes.
Minefield. He’d just walked into one. Did he
want to fist pump the air? Yes, but he didn’t want to
make light of her feelings. “Okay.” He swallowed,
feeling less like an idiot and more like … maybe
this woman might like him, too. Strike that. He
knew she liked him, but maybe there might actually
be hope for he and this woman.
“Are you okay?” He asked slowly, wishing he
was wearing a swimsuit or something because it
was getting hot and he wanted to get out and really
talk to her.
She nodded, then a small smile played at her
lips. “I think so. I am actually amazed it didn’t hurt
me. It’s like I’ve been bracing myself to be upset,
ready to run out and buy the chocolate, but … I
haven’t needed it.”
His heart raced. Oh man, oh man, this woman
and all these feelings he was having about her and
now he didn’t know what to do. It was like … he
had no game. Normally, he would hit on her or
something but she wasn’t like any kind of woman
that he’d met before.
She frowned. “Tell me the truth about your
mom.” She said softly. “Are you really okay?”
Worry coursed through him and all of a sudden
he wanted to tell her anything she wanted. He felt
safe with her. He splashed his face. “My mother
sees me as a bank.” He couldn’t stand to look her
in the eyes and see the immediate pity. He messed
with the bubbles around him in the water. “I’ve
known that, but not … really.” He felt himself
actually get emotional, which really pissed him off.
“I didn’t really know it until she admitted it with
Dr. Schneider.” He met her eyes again. “She said,
‘You need to clean up so you can pay for my house.
You promised me that.’” It shocked him that he was
actually tearing up. He sniffed and looked away,
trying to think of something else.
“That sucks,” she said plainly.
He met her eyes and saw a sincerity that he
honestly wasn’t accustomed to. How come every
bit of her sincerity made him feel more and more
enthralled with this woman?
He shrugged. “Boo-who I have a mother who
uses me. Waa, cry me a river.” He thought of all the
guys he’d served with. “Believe me, it could be
worse. There are a lot of people who would kill for
my life.”
She wagged a finger at him. “Don’t do that.”
“What?” He thought he was being tough. Cause
he couldn’t stand whiny, even from himself.
“Don’t act like—just because you’re vulnerable
about something that you shouldn’t be.”
Her words hit the center of his chest.
“Everyone’s vulnerable sometimes.” She lifted
her eyebrows.
He liked her. Man, he liked her. “I suppose
Nana said that.”
A small smile played at her lips. “She did.” She
turned on her heel and waved a hand at her face. “I
seriously have to leave because I’m way too hot.”
She crouched and went through the hole.
Immediately, he stood and got his clothes,
stickily pulling them on his body and rushing after
her. “Wait!”
He scooted through the opening and weaved his
way out and down the path. The air felt cool.
Which was funny because it was St. George, Utah
in June, which was never described as cool.
“Wait! Wait!” He called when he saw her half-
way up the path to the facility. To his delight, she
stopped.
He caught up to her and got a whiff of …
something. Orangey? “Are you wearing orange
perfume?”
She stopped walking and glared at him. “Why
would you ask that?”
Okay, she was weird about him smelling her.
“Because I just smelled it on you.”
Then she closed her eyes and let out a light
laugh “Stinking’ Kevin. Be still my heart,” she said
softly.
For a second he was confused. “Excuse me?”
She gave him a brilliant smile and laughed. “My
cousin, he put this potion on me this morning as I
walked out of the door and …” she laughed again.
“I can’t believe it.” She looked mystified.
For some stupid reason he remembered when
her cousin had talked about a love potion and her
Nana. “Is this the same love potion from the dance
club?”
“No.” She was even more embarrassed and
began walking faster. “I just…” she waved a hand
through the air.
He took her hand to stop her. “Wait. Explain,”
he demanded.
She laughed, again. He didn’t know what was
happening, but he loved her hand in his and he
loved the way her face flushed all embarrassed.
She looked at their hands and yanked hers
back. “No, I…Nana had some herbal remedies,
some oils that she would call potions when she
would mix them.” She sighed. “We’ve been
rummaging through them and I found a couple and
mixed them up. Dr. Schneider actually used to buy
some and asked if I would sell some to him. He
uses them to help patients manage their emotional
states.” She looked down at her wrist again. “Kevin
put some on me this morning when I wasn’t looking
and just…” she trailed again. “He said maybe it
would get your attention.” She looked sharply up at
him. “I don’t want your attention.”
The way she was denying she wanted it, made
him grin wider. “Well, you can tell Kevin that it
worked.” He winked at her.
She yanked her hand back. “Stop, I shouldn’t
have gone in there and talked to you. I shouldn’t
have told you about Spence. I shouldn’t—”
It was too late, he took her hand again. “Yes,
you should have. And, thank you.” He was sincere.
She seemed to sense his sincerity because she
didn’t pull back.
“I needed to talk and you helped.” Chills
rushed over him at how true his words were.
“Thank you.”
Her eyes fluttered and she nodded, then pulled
her hand back. “You’re welcome.”
For a second they just stood there and he really,
really, really wanted to kiss her.
He put a finger into the air dramatically, like
some brilliant scientist with a new discovery. “Hey,
if your potion works, then you could pay for
Julliard all on your own.”
She rolled her eyes. “Yeah.”
“I’m serious, I would totally endorse it.” He
flashed another grin, then put a hand out, not
wanting to make her mad. “But only if you wanted
me to. Not because I’m … overcompensating and
doing nice things for you.”
“Stop!” She threw her hands up.
He laughed and it hit the center of his chest.
She was real. This girl. She was at the facility to
make money. Her Nana was gone. She was trying to
figure things out. His respect for her was going up
by leaps and bounds. “Regardless of whether I’m
attracted to you because of a potion or not, I would
still endorse it.”
She shook her head.
He laughed, loving this. “I’m kidding.” Kinda.
“It is really cool that you’re learning that stuff.” He
smelled her again. “Whatever it is, I think you can
tell Kevin…it does something.”
“It’s called, ‘Talk to Me.’”
“What?” B.C. asked.
“The name of the potion is called … ‘Talk to
Me.’”
B.C. grinned. “So it did work.”
Shaking her head, she looked dismissive.
“Whatever.”
“You don’t think it works?” he challenged.
“I don’t know. I guess. Nana always said,
‘When you need help…try a potion…and a walk in
prayer with God.’”
This made him smile. “That’s right, she was a
believer.”
She let out a breath. “Yes, she was.”
For a brief moment B.C. wondered what it
would be like to believe. In something. Sure, he
believed in God, but…to walk with God?
She pointed at him. “I think AA talks about
believing in a higher power, right?”
He felt caught, and reminded that he was…
deficient. “Uh, yeah.”
She winked at him. “Maybe it might be worth
the walk.”
They approached the facility and he opened the
door for her. “Dr. Schneider thinks God might help
me too.”
She hesitated. “We should probably not really
talk anymore and I should go.”
He waited. “Probably,” he stated, wanting to
tell her she was totally wrong. “You do have that
potion on, so it’s kinda beyond our control.” He
opened the door for her.
Laughing, she stepped through the door. “If
you’re nervous asking God for a big favor, start
with something small. Ya know…like maybe asking
for some help with that horrible accent.” With a
wink she was off down the hall.
B.C. was too stunned and amused to think of a
single comeback, but he knew at this moment…he
wanted to be real with this woman forever.
K
C H A P T E R 8
ira was exhausted. It’d been
another week at Red Rocks, and
she loved teaching four classes a
day. It was still four classes a day, on top of other
responsibilities to help with other activities
throughout the week.
When she did the sunrise class it meant getting
up at four, driving out here by five. Then putting
everything she had into the class. It was
invigorating and at the same time exhausting.
The other thing that was pressing on her…was
him.
B.C.
He was always there. Every class she taught.
She wanted to say, don’t you have more therapy or
something?
Well, candidly, she didn’t want to say that. She
should say that, but that didn’t mean she wanted to
say it.
Her classes were during the hours between
therapy sessions and he was never intrusive.
Truthfully, he was amazing. Not only was he
muscular and fit, but he'd clearly been trained in
many disciplines. After all, she’d seen his movies,
he had skills. And she’d done more research on
him. He was currently being considered for some
war drama that some were touting as the next
‘Pearl Harbor.’ It was just stupid crazy she even
knew so much detail about him.
The media didn’t know where he was at the
moment, and there was some talk that he might be
in a rehab facility somewhere. Apparently, someone
had leaked he had a pain pill addiction with the
DUI. She hated the media.
Pushing away all crazy thoughts, she focused
on the best part of getting up and out here this
early, the stillness of the morning. The beauty of the
red rocks. She had her shoes off and was on a patch
of grass the facility kept up for classes. Dr.
Schneider liked the fact she was having them go
barefoot on the grass. He said that it was good for
them to be grounded. Kira couldn’t get enough of
it. She was finding herself feeling like she too was
healing with all these therapeutic classes.
Peace filled her.
Nana's spirit.
Immediately, she thought she might be sad, but
the peace only deepened.
At least there was that. “Nana,” she whispered.
It’d been interesting to spend some time with Dr.
Schneider going over the concoctions Nana had
supplied him. It was even more interesting to open
up Nana’s old cookbooks and find those recipes.
Kevin had continued to put a different potion on
her every day. Ugh! It was annoying. He’d ask her
how often B.C. had spoken to her each day. Today
he’d hugged her and she’d known he was going to
lather her with something. She took a long breath
and grinned. Heart to heart. That’s what he’d put
on her.
Her peace of mind only lasted for a second
because her mind flitted to stupid Spence’s
incessant phone calls. She’d been ignoring them
and he was leaving more and more messages. She
thought of how he’d been to St. George last
Christmas and he’d hated the ranch and everything
about it. Which was funny, because he was helping
people in Africa learn how to raise cat fish farms.
There was also something else that had been
niggling her about living in St. George lately. She
realized she liked being back a lot more than she
would have thought. She didn’t have high school
friends she hung out with or anything. She liked her
job and she liked seeing the difference it was
making in her students’ lives and … she hated how
much she liked seeing B.C. every day.
Dang it.
Her phone buzzed and she saw that it was
actually Spence again. She didn’t have long until
class, but she was tired of his incessant calling.
“Hey.” She kept her voice tight. “You need to
stop calling.”
“How is the morning yoga class?” he asked
quietly.
“Spence, I told you we’re through. You have to
quit leaving all those messages.”
“Oh, so you don’t have time to talk to me
anymore?”
Confusion filled her because he sounded like he
had a right to be angry with her.
Which made her mad. Her heart rate kicked up
a notch and she thought of all the things she’d
wanted to say to him. “How are the catfish ponds
going?” she asked in a very annoyed voice.
His breath hitched. “Fine.”
“Good.” She wanted off this call. Her hand had
started to twitch.
“Kira, I have to know, will you be back for the
fall semester?”
She let out a breath. “I can’t talk about this
right now.” How did she explain to him, a guy who
never worried about money, that she wasn’t sure if
she’d have the money?
“Is it the money?” he asked, seeming to read
her thoughts. “Because I’ll pay for it.”
This stunned her. He was from money, but he
didn’t have money. Not assessable money that
could pay her tuition. He had to go beg from
mommy and daddy for his money. Not to mention
he had never offered to even pay for dinner most of
the time.
“I will. Kira, I love you. I know I’ve been
awful, I should have come sooner.” His tone had
turned softer.
This whole conversation had totally blind-sided
her and she instantly felt like crying.
“Kira,” he said urgently. “Are you still there?”
“Yeah.” She wiped beneath her eyes. Dang,
why had she answered?
He was quiet for a minute. “Think about it
because I would like to help you.”
Of course she would never let him, but … he’d
offered? It actually meant a lot to her that he’d
offered because she had been starting to feel like
their whole relationship had been a sham.
“Are you going to sell the ranch?” He asked out
of the blue.
The question gave her whiplash. Wait. What?
“No.” No, it was all Kevin had. It was all she had
left of Nana.
“Okay.” His voice was ticked. “Why in the
world would you even think about keeping it?”
Now she was ticked. “Don’t you dare try to tell
me what to do with Nana’s ranch!”
“Kira, listen—”
She hung up, her hand shaking.
For a beat she sucked in a breath, trying to calm
herself. For a moment she’d thought he did feel bad
he hadn’t been there for her. She’d thought …
maybe he cared.
“That bad, huh?”
Startled, she jumped, her hand going to her
chest. “Oh my gosh.”
Of course, it was him. Mr. Movie star. Which
really wasn’t an appropriate name for him
anymore, because there were plenty of stars here,
but she still called him that.
“Hey,” she said quietly, feeling vulnerable and
unsure of herself. She didn’t like when people knew
things about her, without her wanting them to.
Kevin often teased her about how she liked to keep
things private.
He spread out a blue mat on the ground and
stepped onto it, putting back his arm and stretching
his tricep. The move looked funny since they would
be doing yoga not MMA fighting, but she didn’t
want to say anything.
Gary and the girl, who B.C. called Kardashian
when he wanted to shut her up, walked toward
them down the path.
Ignoring his question, she took herself inside
her brain and went to the front of the grassy area
and eased into Warrior One pose.
A couple of more people trailed in and they all
fell into synchronicity, copying the moves she did.
This was the part she loved about yoga and
meditation. She could just direct them a tiny bit and
take them into the moves. They focused more on
breathing then talking. She had to be more in tune.
This morning, they just went through the poses and
she felt herself relax, inch by inch. Except for those
inches when she would think about stupid Spence
or look at B.C.
It actually wasn’t that relaxing. Dang, the man
was attractive. It was like she could feel his eyes on
her. Could feel the pressure, the zing between them.
If truth be told, it was more then that. It was the
way he seemed to see her, the real her, and still like
her.
Not just the blatant flirting, but the casual way
he asked how the potions were coming along. How
he encouraged her. How he kept offering to help
endorse her products. The truth was that he was
kind of a cheerleader for her. She hadn’t had a
cheerleader since Nana was gone.
Kevin was such an amazing cousin and friend,
and she’d thought Spence was a good boyfriend.
Up until all the crap hit the fan this summer.
As usual, Gary tried to chat her up after.
B.C. didn’t put up with it today, walking over
and nudging him with his shoulder. “Dude, not
today.”
Gary grimaced and pushed his hand down his
very seventy-ish mustache. “I get it.” He walked
away.
B.C. smirked when they looked at each other
and she hated how, even though she wasn’t trying
to have inside jokes with him, they did.
She smiled.
“Hey,” he said.
"Hey,” she said back.
She didn’t move and neither did he.
He crossed his arms and looked oh so military
movie. Body builder. Pure—sigh, she couldn’t
think about that.
“Are you okay?" he asked.
Not feeling okay, she turned away from him,
feeling nervous. “You’re the one in the drug rehab.
I think I’m okay.” It came out harsher than she’d
meant it.
He laughed. “Ouch. The truth hurts.”
Guilt assaulted her. It wasn’t fair to take out her
angst on him. She turned back. “Sorry, it’s just…”
she wasn’t supposed to feel this way about B.C.
His eyes were serious. “You’re feeling
vulnerable.” He winked at her. “It’s okay, because I
have it on good authority…we all go through it.”
At his slight throwing her words back at her, she
relaxed.
“C’mon, Yoga Master, what’s going on? I’m
bored here. No drugs. No phone. Give me some
drama. I love drama.”
She scoffed. “I’m sure.”
“No social media. C’mon, give me some of you
and your ex-boyfriend’s drama." He cocked an
eyebrow. “He is still the ex, right?”
She couldn’t believe she was talking to him.
That wasn't all true, part of her wanted to talk to
him. “You need my ex-boyfriend drama?"
“I’m asking, aren’t I? Yes, I’m pathetic, don’t
rub it in.” He gave her a pointed look.
She let out a light laugh, thinking of how funny
it was that B.C. Yes, B.C. Knight wanted to hear
about her life drama.
He started walking down the path, waving for
her to come. “Tell me about your conversation with
Spence."
Hesitating briefly, she did follow. “I shouldn’t
be talking to you, I’m going to get fired.”
He hesitated. “Listen, I’ve been thinking about
that tacky little detail for you. Tell Dr. Schneider,
the loophole in your contract is that we were
friends before we came into the facility.”
She laughed. “That’s the loophole.”
He nodded. “Everything’s about the contract,
believe me.”
She sighed, hating that she wanted to talk to
him. “I don’t know if friend would be the right
word.” She thought of that crazy night.
A wicked look flashed into his eyes and he
closed the gap between them. “I’d be open to other
definitions. What would you like to call us then?”
Butterflies exploded into her gut. Dang, all this
chemistry between them. She took a step back.
“Don’t do that.”
He didn’t move. “What?”
She ignored him and re-focused on their
conversation, opting for talking about the ex
instead of talking about them. “Spence has left a
million messages and when I answered this morning
to tell him to quit calling, he offered to pay for
Julliard.” It felt even more ridiculous when she
actually said it aloud.
B.C. visibly tensed. “Really?”
“I’m not letting him.” She said quickly, thinking
of all the conversations she’d had with B.C. about
paying for things for people.
B.C. narrowed his eyes. “Why would he offer
that?”
Tossing her hands into the air, she shrugged.
“Exactly, he has been such a jerk.” She found
herself rambling. “Like sure he comes from money,
his parents have money, but the last year while I’ve
dated him he’s always been like ‘I wouldn’t want to
make
you
uncomfortable
by
paying
for
everything.’”
“Making me like him more and more.” B.C.
narrowed his eyes.
“He wouldn’t come to St. George when I really
needed him but now he’s offering to pay for
Julliard?” Truly, she was flabbergasted by all of it.
She was trying to sort it all out in her brain too.
“Then he dares to even ask if we’re selling the
ranch or not?” She was mystified. “Why would he
do that?”
B.C. let out a breath. “Because he still wants
you.”
She knew this, but … she hadn’t thought about
it so plainly. She scowled. “He … doesn’t even
understand me.” She protested. “If he thinks I
would sell the ranch, he’s just … he’s never even
known me.”
B.C. didn’t comment.
Which made her more uncomfortable. “What?”
She demanded.
B.C. shrugged. “Nothing.”
She continued. “Kevin wants to keep the ranch.
He needs it and Nana gave it to both of us so we’re
keeping it.”
B.C. frowned.
“What?” She didn’t like the CIA way he looked
at her, like he could extract government secrets by
only giving her one look.
“What do you want?” B.C. asked it so plainly,
like it was so obvious.
She laughed. “Of course a man would say that
with such straight forward zeal.”
“Well?” he said, waiting. “I’ve been hearing
you say the idiot doesn’t even know you, then you
say Kevin wants the ranch … but what do you
want.”
For a moment she wasn’t sure, then she thought
of the old swing behind the house and how she
loved to go out there at night and just … feel
peaceful. It was one of the only places she’d ever
felt so at home. She blinked. “I … I want to keep
it,” she said, feeling more sure about it. “It’s just,
the numbers aren’t really working out.” She left off
the whole could she pay for Julliard problem. “I
don’t know how Nana made it all work.”
He frowned, then lifted his eyebrows. “How
much do you need?”
Annoyed that he would even offer that, she
pushed him in the shoulder. “Seriously? We’re back
to—let me buy you off?”
Rolling his eyes, he pumped his eyebrows. “I
have money, you need money. What’s the big
deal?”
It baffled her that he was so … giving. It wasn’t
just that. It was the fact he almost just assumed she
would take it. She gave him an incredulous look.
“You deserve more than that. You don’t need to
buy people flights to Paris. You don’t need to pay
for your mother’s house. You don’t need to offer to
help me with my money problems. I was really just
venting to you.”
His features clouded and his lips pinched. “I’m
glad you feel you can vent to me.” He sighed.
“You’re right, I shouldn’t feel like I have to trade
money for people to like me.” He pointed at her. “ I
do think it’s interesting your ex boyfriend thought
he could buy you off, didn’t he?”
His words hit her like a ton of bricks. “I…” she
faltered. “I don’t know why he would think that?”
For a few moments she and B.C. didn’t say
anything.
All she could do was feel so confused. She
wasn’t that woman, demanding men pay for things.
Wanting a man for that. Yet, B.C. was right. That
was the tactic Spence was using. She put her hand
to her head, feeling a sudden headache. She made a
command decision. “I have to go home.”
T
HE
NEXT
DAY
, Kira didn’t know how to act around
B.C. It wasn’t just that he’d drawn her attention to
the fact that her ex boyfriend thought he could buy
her off so easily. It was also the fact she wondered
why Spence really thought he could. In between
classes, she purposefully went and hung out with
Clark at the desk, which was painful, especially
because Tricia was sick.
After the sunset meditation class, B.C. stayed
and even though she tried to say goodnight and
walk away, he had blocked her path. “Talk,
Moonwater, and don’t go hide behind Clark.”
It made her smile that he’d obviously been a bit
annoyed by the fact she’d been hanging out with
Clark. She exhaled and half-way wished she could
hide from this man. Unfortunately, the other half of
her didn’t want to hide from him at all.
“Talk.” He said, his arms still crossed and she
thought of how he did look the military commander
type.
She shook her head. “What?”
“Why did you scamper off yesterday?”
“Scamper?” She rolled her eyes at the word.
He reached out and took her hand. “Kira, what
is going on with you?”
It unsettled her that he could read her so easily.
No words would come.
He pulled back his hand. “I wanted to tell you,
that even though Spence offered to pay for Julliard,
I know that you’re not the kind of girl who would
want that.”
It actually did make her feel better that he
believed this, but it kind of ticked her off he
thought she needed his validation. “I guess I don’t
have to explain anything.” She wanted to leave.
She didn’t know why any of this mattered anyway.
“Kira.” His voice was low. “Why are you
wanting to run from me?”
Bam. Exactly. Why did she? How did he know
that?
The side of his lip turned up. “Moonwater,
don’t you know that I kinda dig you.”
Nerves assaulted her. It amazed her he was
talking so frankly.
“Do you know that I don’t care if you’re not
perfect or your life’s not perfect or the…” he threw
his hand into the air. “The freaking boyfriend you
had was an idiot.” He let out a derisive laugh. “It
might actually kinda make a guy like me,” He
pointed to himself. “Who’s totally screwed up, by
the way, feel better.”
She was confused. “So basically what you’re
saying is my messed up life makes you feel better.”
He nodded, completely owning it. “Pretty
much.” A full smile spread across his face. “What
I’m really saying is, I don’t want to live in a
superficial world anymore.”
“Explain.” She demanded.
He sighed. “I’ve been doing a lot of soul
searching and I think part of the reason drugs
became such an easy thing for me is because I
haven’t dealt with my problems; my mom, the pain
I’ve carried around from serving in the military, the
pain from losing my dad so young. I just kept
pushing forward, doing the next thing, the next
thing. And, especially in my profession, I could just
be a different character. I don’t want that anymore.
I want to be me. I want…you to be you.”
She felt herself relax a bit and she thought
about how cool it was he had realized all of this.
Maybe it did make her feel better to know he didn’t
expect her to be perfect.
He took another step closer to her. “Listen, I’ve
been psychoanalyzed my whole life, I actually am
pretty good at it. I thought a lot about you last night
and I came to a conclusion.”
She frowned. “What, oh therapist, please tell
me.”
He shrugged. “You have mom issues. You said
your mom left, went to Hollywood, and never came
back.”
It took her off guard how he was kind of hitting
on an issue.
“You don’t want people to leave. So you do
things to make them happy, hoping they’ll stay and
the relationship won’t end.”
She didn’t know if what he was saying was true
or not, but … it kinda sounded true. She thought
about pictures of her mom at the ranch. When
she’d been young. She thought of the fact it’d hurt
Nana so much that she never heard from her own
daughter. Sudden pain hit the center of her, making
her almost feel like she couldn’t breathe. She
coughed.
B.C. took her by the shoulders. “Kira?”
She coughed again. “Oh my gosh.” She sucked
in a breath, but felt this immense pressure on her
chest.
“Breathe.” B.C. ordered.
She took in a breath.
He breathed with her in slow, deep breaths.
“It’s okay.” He held her, steadying her. “You’re
okay.”
Immediately, she thought of the fact she
shouldn’t even be with him.
Seeming to read her thoughts, he picked up her
bag and took her hand, pulling her down the
deserted path to the hot spring. “Let’s go
somewhere we can talk.”
They got to the part of the path right before the
cave and he turned to her. “Are you okay?”
She sucked in another breath, starting to feel a
bit better. “Yeah.”
He looked at the entrance. “Do you want to go
in there?”
Oh my, she would be so fired. “Oh no,” she
said, shaking her head back and forth. “Dr.
Schneider would not approve.”
B.C. was too fast, grabbing her hand and pulling
her with him. “Pish posh, we gotta live a little.”
It felt so…exhilarating. It all happened in a
flash and before she knew it they had ducked
through the entrance and B.C. was pulling his shirt
off and kicking off his shoes.
Unable to stop herself, she laughed. It felt so
good to just be here with him. She wore a unitard
and a long shirt over it, which she promptly pulled
off after slipping off her flip flops. He took her
hand and even in the dim light she could tell he was
smiling that movie star smile at her.
“On three.”
She laughed again and couldn’t believe she was
doing this.
“One, two, three!”
Suddenly they were jumping into the darkness,
hot water engulfing them.
She felt his arms pull her up and he was there,
holding her.
She jerked and thrashed and got away,
sputtering. “Oh my gosh.” Coming here with him
was one thing, but cuddling in the pool was
another.
"You’re crazy."
He was laughing and reaching for her hand.
“Come here.”
She allowed him to take her hand, even though
she shouldn’t. Everything felt so … out of control.
He mind was spinning with the realization that B.C.
was right, she was afraid of losing people. She had
held on to Spence for too long without realizing
why.
His eyes grew serious. “I like you, Moonwater.”
She let out a light sigh and really couldn’t figure
out why, but knew she liked being with him, too.
He frowned. "The first night I met you was the
most real night of my life.”
She laughed. “You were drunk and high.”
Shaking his head back and forth, he scrunched
his face up. “Oh, but I was functional.” He sighed.
“That’s the sad part is that the stuff I’d had that
night wasn’t even bad compared to what I could
have had and handled.” His face suddenly went
sad.
Her heart quickened. “You really weren’t that
bad that night?”
He snorted, then let out a long breath. “Nope.”
He turned and their eyes met and there was this
whole time slowed down kind of thing.
It all felt so complicated between them. “B.C. I
can't. We can't and…”
“Do you still love Spence?” His look was
speculative.
“No. I mean, no…that ship sailed a long time
ago. Even before I knew it. I realized yesterday that
the fact Spence would think he could buy me back
makes it even more obvious that he never really
knew me.”
“True.” B.C. said, squeezing her hand gently.
He clicked his mouth. “You do not like people
offering to buy you stuff.”
Now she did laugh.
The tension from earlier felt like it cleared
between them.
B.C. frowned. “I hope I didn’t hurt you, talking
about the mom thing.”
She swallowed and thought of how it had hurt.
“I’m fine. You’re right.” She let out a breath.
“Hey, I only recognize the garbage because I
have the garbage.” He grinned.
There would be no way not to laugh at that
statement.
“Dark humor.” He offered.
“What?”
“It’s how we dealt with tragedy in the military.”
She understood.
He searched her eyes. “I think I like using it to
deal with parent issues more and more.”
Butterflies were back in her stomach and she
felt this intense attraction to B.C. again. It was even
more then before, now she felt like she was actually
falling for him a little bit. “B.C., I still shouldn’t be
here.”
Gently, he reached up and brushed a hair out of
her face. “You keep saying that, Moonwater, but
you’re still here.” He closed the gap between them
and it was as if his lips were there, just waiting to
be touched.
The breath caught in her chest and she could
hardly think anything besides how she wanted to
kiss him.
He held his ground, not pushing her. “Your call,
Moonwater.” His voice was breathy.
She shivered but she didn’t move. Didn’t pull
away, didn’t lean in. She should pull away.
Lifting his hand, he softly caressed her neck
and lightly trailed it down her arm.
Shivers fell through her. She still didn’t move,
torn and unable to believe she was really staring
into these beautiful blue eyes. The blue eyes she’d
thought had been fake when she’d seen him in
movies. Staring at his beautiful face and feeling all
kinds of things she never thought she’d feel for this
man.
He inhaled deeply. “Man, I don’t know what
potion you have on at the moment, but…you are
irresistible.” He trailed his hand down her shoulder
and arm again. He sniffed her again. “What’s the
name of this one?”
Melting, that’s what she was doing. She closed
her eyes for a moment, then flashed them back
open. She thought of Kevin and him dousing her
this morning at breakfast. “I’m not telling you the
name.”
He laughed, but still didn’t move, only found
her hand and laced his fingers with hers. “How can
I extract this information from you?” He’d taken on
a Russian accent and she thought of the Russian
spy he’d played in one of his first movies.
She smiled reluctantly, not wanting to admit he
was funny.
“Ah, she likes my Russian accent better than
Brooklyn.” He pushed out the last word with that
accent.
She giggled.
His grin widened. “What’s the potion?”
She sighed. “Safe with You.”
He smiled and gently kissed her cheek. “You
are, you know.”
Chills washed through her and she did feel safe
with him. More safe and more on edge then she’d
ever felt with Spence.
Sudden insecurity pulsed through her. “Are you
just doing this…because you’re bored?”
He quit playing with her hand. “What?”
“Because you’re here? At a rehab place? With
no other distractions?” It sounded so lame and
insecure.
Letting out a long breath, he grasped her hand
tighter, then he let it go and stepped back a step.
“No.”
The loss of his closeness was like losing her
breath underwater.
“If you think that, Kira, then, I’ve…” he trailed
and he pushed a hand through his hair. “I’ve totally
messed it up.”
Her heart raced. “I don’t want to be your
replacement for pills and alcohol.”
He choked a little.
“I mean it.” She’d thought about this for the
past couple of days. “I like you, too. And, that
scares the crap out of me.” She hesitated. “More
then anything, it scares me that what’s between us,
might just be a substitute for your addictive
tendencies.”
He blinked. “It’s not.” He said quickly.
“How do you know?” She demanded.
Taking her hand softly, he looked into her eyes.
“I can’t tell you that I’m not still an addict. This, I
can tell you…that I’ve never felt like this for
another woman before.”
Again, her heart sped up a notch.
He frowned. “I’m working on my stuff. I …
have been. Doctor Schneider has pressed me to dig
deep and find the reasons why I want to change.
I’m not gonna lie, it’s been tough. I’ve had to really
look at myself. Before, I knew I didn’t want to and
I knew I hated the fact I was weak. Now, I’m
finding it almost easier to find all the reason I don’t
want to be like I was.”
She was quiet for a minute, then asked. “Why
don’t you?”
“I don’t want to be like my mother,” he said
quietly. “She uses people, me. She isn’t grateful for
anything. She…” he blinked and swallowed.
Kira wanted to reach out to him, to take some
of his pain, but she waited.
“I don’t want to believe that I am not enough
anymore. Just for being me. B.C. Just for being
alive.” He teared up. “I’ve actually been reading
the bible, about the creation of the world.”
This took her by surprise.
He smiled. “And I love how Genesis talks about
the creation of the world so plainly. After it goes
through what was created it says, “And God saw it,
and it was good.” He blinked even more. “And it
just got me wondering if God sees me. Just B.C.
Not the movie star. Not the messed up druggie. Just
the kid that lost his dad and tried hard. Not always
succeeding, but tried to do right. And, I just
wonder…if he thinks … if maybe he could think…I
was good.” He broke off and tears fell down his
face.
Taking a tentative step to him, she couldn’t help
but gently press her hand to his face. She’d wanted
to touch his face. “I think He thinks you’re good.”
She said, tears in her own eyes.
B.C. wiped his eyes and let out a light laugh.
“Ya think?”
There was so much vulnerability in his question.
She nodded and it was amazing how much his
quest to find himself touched her. How much she
had kind of wondered the very same thing he was
talking about, but had never vocalized like that
before. She thought about how good this man was.
How good he wanted to be. It touched her.
He took her hand and gently kissed her palm. “I
would be lying if I didn’t say if one of my reasons
to stay drug free was that … I want to have a life
with a good woman, too.” He stared into her eyes.
“But, I want you to know that you’re not a
distraction or a new drug. You…are a life. You
symbolize what I hope to have one day. And I’m
sorry if that scares you and I don’t know if that’s
right or not, but—”
All these feelings were about to burst inside of
her. “Are we going to kiss or not, Movie Star?”
He broke off into a laugh. “It’s your call,
Moonwater.”
It felt like she could barely breathe, she leaned
in.
He stopped her.
“Wait.” He laughed.
She scowled, feeling teased.
He laughed harder and took both of her hands
into his. “I just, first, before we kiss I wanted to ask
you something.”
Her heart raced. “Okay,” she said uncertainly.
“I get out next Friday. I have a premiere the
next day, Saturday. Will you come to one of my
horrible Raced and Wrecked movie premieres? It’s
number nine, but I’m sure you’ve been keeping
count.”
She grinned. “I don’t know.”
She wanted to. It was crazy that she was
actually thinking about it. Then she got muddled. “I
don’t even have anything to wear.” Funny, this
would be on her mind.
He flashed a smile.
“And don’t say you’ll buy me a dress.” She
pushed him.
He took her hands back into his. “Hey, it’s not
really buying you off when it’s advantageous to me,
is it?” He stuck his lower lip out. “You’re getting
under my skin, Moonwater.” His voice was husky.
“You need Oregano.”
“Why?”
“Because you need to get over thinking you
have to buy me things. And Oregano would help.”
She found herself falling into him.
He snaked an arm around her waist and pulled
her flush against him. He let out a breath. “You
won’t let me do that. It’s because when I’m with
you, even just near you…I feel this goodness in
you.” He let out a slight laugh and then his eyes
misted. “Dang it woman, if I haven’t wanted to feel
this way my whole life.”
Whatever acting job he was doing at the
moment was hitting her—straight in the heart.
“I’ve watched you the past couple of weeks
and wondered how some asinine jerk in Africa got
you.”
His words were plain, barbaric, possessive and
caveman-ish, but she knew they were sincere.
“I wonder about all the things you’re telling me.
That I shouldn’t want people to want me just
because I can buy them things, about how I can and
should reach to…God.” He broke off and shook his
head as he smiled. “Who tells that to people
anymore?”
She let out a soft laugh.
He blinked. “The truth is that I won’t kiss you if
you don’t want to because of this job.” He
shrugged. “I can wait.”
She laughed and felt tears bubbling up, humbled
by how much B.C. had thought all of this out.
Taking the plunge, she pushed her lips to his.
It was gentle and sweet as he switched back
and forth from trailing kisses on her jaw then back
to her lips. He tasted like mint mouthwash and the
salt on her skin.
All the attraction she had felt every time she’d
seen him reacted and she put her arms around his
neck, pulling him closer, soaring higher than she
had ever been. She’d watched the first one of his
super hero movies the other night and she’d found
herself practically drooling over him. Now here he
was.
He pulled back and kept her close, searching
her eyes.
She felt like her heart would burst at the way he
looked at her.
“What are you thinking?" he whispered.
This took her by surprise. "What?”
He pushed her away a little more. “I have to
know, what were you thinking just now?”
She pulled her arms back so she wasn’t
touching him. “So many things. I’m not this girl.”
“What?” Now he was confused.
“The girl who breaks up with her boyfriend and
then finds herself kissing a guy…she shouldn’t be
kissing.”
“Oh,” he said, blowing it off. “I know you’re
not.”
She had to tell him. “No, like…I don’t take
intimacy lightly. I…I’ve been waiting until
marriage.” It was stupid to tell him this, but he
needed to know she wasn’t a Hollywood hussy.
Had she just thought hussy?
“I know,” he said quickly.
She could see him thinking about this.
“So I haven’t slept around.” She let out a
breath. “Not even with Spence.” She nodded. “I
told him right off I was waiting until marriage.”
He looked doubtful. “I’m sorry, I’m just trying
to process this.”
She felt exposed. She tried to push past him.
“Never mind.”
Taking her hand, he stopped her. “Wait. Wait a
sec. I think it’s cool.” He shrugged. “I have been
reading the Bible.”
She met his eyes and saw…truth.
“Whatever.” How would someone like him
even understand? “Do you really think it’s cool?”
“I do.” He cracked a grin. “Was Nana Amish
too? Did you leave that out?”
She laughed but shook her head. “Stop.”
He laughed harder. “Kidding. Sheesh.” He
squeezed her hand. “I really respect you. And I will
respect what you value.”
The fierce way he said it, made her nervous.
“And …”
“You could get fired.” He filled in for her.
“Yes.” She nodded and smiled. “So, tomorrow
I’m going to tell Doctor Schneider after the
morning yoga meditation class that he needs to find
someone else to teach here.”
B.C. jolted back. “What?”
She smiled. “Because I kinda want to kiss you
again and I can’t live with myself if I think I’ll have
to break Doctor Schneider’s trust all the time.”
B.C. exhaled. “So we’re telling him.”
She was surprised by this. “I’ll tell him.”
He pulled her back in and kissed her again,
going slower this time, making it last this time.
When he pulled back his eyes were targeted in on
hers. “We’re in this together, Moonwater.”
This made her smile and melt and…again feel
horrible. “Will you get in trouble?” She hadn’t
thought about that before.
B.C. shrugged. “Doc didn’t seem too upset
when I told him I kissed you.”
“What?” She pulled back. “You told him?”
A Cheshire cat look filled his face. “Sorry.”
Her mind raced and she couldn’t believe it. Dr.
Schneider already knew that they’d kissed? Taking
a chance, she pulled him back to her lips.
Fireworks exploded and she held on, taking the
plunge and not caring about the consequences. She
grabbed him tighter, pulling him closer, loving the
need she felt inside of him that matched her own.
He deepened the kiss and she was lost.
Completely lost.
It’d never been this way with Spence. It had
been good, but she never believed this kind of
passion existed.
Of course Nana and Papa had been together
forever. Very happy before he passed a few years
ago. Had they had this?
She couldn’t believe she was thinking these
things.
She pulled back abruptly.
He kept her close, laughing. “No,” he
whimpered.
She pushed back farther. “I can’t. I have to get
home and work on potions. For real.” She went to
the edge and pulled herself out of the hot spring,
shivering immediately.
He was there, getting out, dripping. “You can’t
leave like that.” Lamely, he held his shirt out for
her. “They’re having that stupid Three’s Company
marathon in the lobby. Tina, Gary, Zoe—they’re all
there. Probably the staff, too.” He wagged a finger
at her. “And can I just say the way Clark looks at
you freaks me out a bit. Like a serial killer type.”
She let out a sigh, agreeing. “Yeah, he’s a bit
different.”
He grunted as she started back to the exit.
Dang, she had to go through the front door of
the clinic before she left. It was the rules. She took
his shirt, using it to dry off, thinking about the bag
she had in her car with another unitard. She thought
fast. "Do you think you could go get the unitard out
of my Bug and bring it back here? The car’s
unlocked.”
It would be much less obvious for him to
change into different shorts in his room real quick
then get it. No one would think about what he was
doing. He was a rogue anyway.
“On it.” He took off, and she watched him
zoom away.
She held his shirt to her and felt like a complete
idiot. What was she doing? Then she touched her
lips, where his had been.
That had been the most wonderful make-out
session of her life.
S
C H A P T E R 9
tealthily, B.C. opened her car and
extracted the black bag she was talking
about, then shut it and ran quickly back
to where she was waiting. He’d been fast, going
into the facility, changing, and then going to the
front desk and telling Clark he wanted to go for a
run. They’d gotten used to all his runs, so he’d
check him out quickly. Easy, peasy, lemon squeasy.
Had he really just thought that? He smiled at
himself, feeling better, lighter than he’d felt in
years.
He thought of getting to know Yoga Master
Moonwater and couldn’t stop the grin.
Darn, he’d waited to kiss her for a long time.
Well, kiss her again. That was…ahhh…not like
anything he’d ever experienced. The trueness, the
passion, it was everything he’d pretended in
movies, but not really felt.
Drug free, he thought.
He didn’t like to think of her getting fired or of
Dr. Schneider being upset. Dang it.
He ran back to where he hoped she would be,
feeling like he’d just done a very important military
op.
"Thanks.” Gratefully, she took the bag and
plunked it on the ground, then unzipped it and
pulled out another unitard.
What could he say? He didn’t mind that she
wore these all the time for her job. Then he felt a
bit guilty. She wasn’t an object. Man, he felt so
different about this woman than he had in a long,
long time. Ever. About any other woman.
She stood and then hesitated, giving him a little
wave. “Uh, I have to change.”
Jolted, he turned and walked up the path.
“Right." Right? Was he an idiot? She’d made it
clear she hadn’t ever slept with a guy.
It amused him, while he waited, to think about
her, her goodness, innocence. It was crazy that he
found that so attractive about her.
He unexpectedly had all these ideas of what he
wanted to do with her when he got out of here. He
could take her to Paris. Exactly where she said she
wanted to go. Yes, he'd shot one of his CIA movies
there, but hadn’t really done any sightseeing. Just
ran around the whole town like a crazy man.
Visions of them walking leisurely around the
Louvre, looking at expensive art, filled his mind.
Would she want to look at expensive art?
“Hey.”
He jumped. Man, he was jumpy around this
woman. This was crazy.
She let out a soft, giggle and he liked it.
“Sorry.”
He found himself smiling and reaching for her
hand, tugging her in, kissing her.
She pulled back, after a few seconds he noted
with delight. “We shouldn’t…”
“We’re passed this.” He didn’t want to hear a
boring lecture, so he reached for lips again.
“Only if you tell me what you were thinking
that made you jump just now.”
“What?” His heart stopped. Could he tell her
that?
“I mean it.” She crossed her arms. "Tell me the
truth, what were you thinking?”
He sighed, thinking his old self, the one before
meeting her or coming here would never tell the
truth because that felt so vulnerable. He wanted to
be vulnerable, he decided. “That I can’t wait to
take you to Paris and go to the Louvre with you to
look at all the boring art. If you like art. Do you like
art?”
He saw her bite her lip, and her eyes misted and
he was encouraged.
Now he add libbed because he wanted to make
her smile, “And then I was just thinking how it
would be kinda fun to see if we could get someone
to rob us in Paris because everyone has a story
about getting robbed in Paris and we could look all
fancy and they could think they would get away
with it and then I would hunt them down and you
would think I’m a hero.”
She let out a laugh. “Yes, the typecast thing.”
He grinned. “Nah, I just think I might like being
your hero.”
The moment got intense and she stared at him
with those gorgeous, green eyes. She sputtered out
a laugh. “You want to be my hero?”
He shrugged and then let out a sigh. “I think
maybe for the rest of my life.”
He didn’t know if she was as surprised as he
was when she closed the gap between them, leaned
in and kissed him.
A
FTER
THEY
’
D
P RETTY
MUCH
MADE
out for another
half hour, she finally told him she had to go. He
reluctantly agreed. He carried her bag through the
facility for her. Good thing St. George was so dry
and she’d dried off. Her hair was dry and back in
that bun and no one even suspected anything,
except the normal of what they always suspected…
he had a crush on her. He did, so there.
The odd thing was, when he’d handed over the
bag and took off down the hall, he didn’t feel
victorious in a way that was hahaha, I got the girl.
He just felt happy. Happier than he’d felt in a long,
long time.
He went back to his room and did some
pushups, because that’s what he did. He also sat
down to write some of his feelings in a journal Dr.
Schneider had given to him that he’d never used. It
evolved to him scribbling doodles, something he
hadn’t done forever. He found himself working on
a beautiful, lithe, yoga master pixie blonde with
great eyebrows and natural eyelashes, which was
stupid and obvious if he thought about. Then he
evolved to a lizard man, who looked a lot like him.
The things to do in rehab.
After getting ready for bed he stared out at the
moonlit desert and thought about her. The feel of
her. The smell of her. Everything about her felt…so
perfect.
Three weeks into rehab and the only thing that
made him want to be better was her.
Not just because he was in rehab and needed to
get a handle on his life, but for the first time ever he
thought about having a life with someone. Not a
Hollywood life. Definitely not his mother’s life.
A life with her. On the ranch. He thought of
what it would be like to hang out with Kevin and
figure out ranch stuff.
What would it be like to smell her potions? To
watch her work. He could imagine the look she
would get when she was concentrating. She had
that look during all the classes when she was
focused.
He couldn’t get the image of being with her on
the ranch out of his mind. She could be making
concoctions and he could be drawing or whatever
else he might be doing. He didn’t know, but
something. Kevin could be coming in with the
ranch guys and talking about the price of…what he
did not know.
Despite all the gaps in his fantasy, it sounded
like the best thing he could possibly imagine.
E
C H A P T E R 1 0
very part of Kira was pretty sure she was
going to get fired.
When she finished the morning
yoga/meditation class, she braced herself to tell Dr.
Schneider. The funny thing was that B.C. waited
after class and walked her down and then insisted
he was doing it with her.
She felt like a teenager going in to confess
something awful to her parents.
Dr. Schneider watched both of them sit on the
couch in front of his desk and he leaned back, his
arms over his chest, waiting.
She started. “I’m sorry, Dr. Schneider, but I
have to put in my resignation.”
B.C.’s hand was instantly over hers and he
shook his head at her, turning to the doctor. “What
she meant to say was we have to tell that the lines
have blurred between patient and instructor and she
would still like to keep her job here.” B.C. flashed a
humble smile. “It’s really my fault, punish me.”
It hit the center of her chest, B.C. really meant
it. Maybe it was silly that this was just…this job.
B.C. was willing to face whatever consequences
with her. She blinked, feeling all emotional. Which
was absurd cause it was just this silly job, that she
actually really liked and didn’t feel silly to her. In
the perspective of how much B.C. made or had to
lose, what if they wanted him to start over or what
if he had to go to real jail.
Ack! She hadn’t even thought of that until just
now.
Doctor Schneider looked at both of them for a
minute and Kira thought it would be the worst thing
ever.
Then he stood and walked over to the window,
staring out. “B.C. did you notice you haven’t used
that bag in a while.”
This had not been what Kira expected.
B.C. followed the doctor’s gaze to the punching
bag. “Guess I haven’t.”
Doctor Schneider turned back to them. “I don’t
like that you two are seeing each other. But, I
would be lying to you if I didn’t tell you I didn’t
suspect it.” He sighed.
Kira was nervous.
B.C. held her hand tighter. “I like her, doc, I’m
not gonna lie. I’m making plans to see her after.”
The doctor nodded and turned to Kira. “Do you
want to quit?”
She hadn’t anticipated this outcome. “No.”
The doctor nodded. “First, B.C. you have to
know that when I have patients come here, my plan
for them is that I don’t want to see them again.”
B.C. nodded. “Uh, I don’t really want to come
back, either.”
The doctor sighed. “You know sobriety doesn’t
come from focusing on someone else. Sobriety
comes from deciding you want to be sober yourself
first.”
“I do.” B.C. nodded.
The doctor scowled. “I don’t like this.” He
looked between them. “I understand that I can’t
stop this, obviously.” He shook his head and looked
like the weight of the world was on his shoulders.
Kira imagined it felt that way. “It’s not smart to
start a relationship while you’re getting clean. It’s
not smart to change for anybody else.”
B.C. let go of her hand and stood. “I want to be
clean for me. I want that. But, I’m not gonna lie,
doc, I’ve fallen pretty hard for her.”
The doctor stood and scowled at them both.
“Things like this never work.”
All of them were quiet for a few moments.
The doctor turned to face the window, then
turned back. “I wish you wouldn’t have a
relationship. But I know that you already do.” He
sighed and mumbled to himself something about
stopping this when he heard about the kiss. He took
off his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose. “I
guess all I can ask is please. Have some discretion.”
He turned away from them and went back to his
desk. “Please go, I have an appointment.”
Kira couldn’t believe it. She got up and felt
wooden, stiff. Didn’t know what to do.
B.C. moved in step with her to the door.
“Thanks doc.” He said as they walked out.
F
OR
THE
NEXT
WEEK
, she worked at the facility and
saw him in every yoga, Pilates, meditation, and art
class. After the late class, it was a new routine.
They waited for everyone to leave and talked for a
bit, and he pretended to ask all these questions on
relaxation and she would find herself, down the
path, going with him in the little cave that led to the
hot spring and water fall.
They would talk and talk and talk.
It surprised her because he would ask all these
questions about Nana and the ranch and God. What
she knew, what she believed. Of course they would
kiss. Every day she couldn’t believe she was falling
more and more in love…with a movie star.
T
HE
M
ONDAY
OF
B.C.’
S
last week, she thought
about what she would do when the week was over.
How different it would be.
Dr. Schneider was already talking about how a
new crop would be coming in at the beginning of
next week and how it would change the dynamics
of her classes.
Sadness washed over her. He would be gone.
He would be going back. He would get that huge
role in the next blockbuster.
She would be here.
B.C. didn’t really talk about them being apart.
It was like it made him sad when she did, so she
didn’t. They were revolving in this little world of
joy.
Truly, that’s what it felt like. Just beauty and
relaxation.
He’d said a few things, like wanting to see the
ranch, but she didn’t know what would happen.
Heck, she didn’t even know if she was going
back to Julliard yet. Her counselor had been trying
to call her since yesterday and she’d ignored the
calls. Dr. Schneider had told a couple of other
facilities about the oils and more orders were
coming in for her to fill. Kevin had told her to just
say yes to Julliard and they would work it out.
B.C. didn’t show up for the morning class,
which was odd. It wasn’t a big deal, the rest of the
group was there and it was a very productive
session, but she had a couple of hours before her
next art class and she found herself wandering the
halls looking for him.
Then she went to the grounds and began taking
all the paths, she even went to the hot springs
waterfall but couldn’t find him.
She was actually getting worried. She went
back to the facility, back up the hallways and there
he was. Standing right outside his room. Leaning
against the door, holding a long box, like he’d been
waiting for her the whole time.
Her heart lightened. “Hey.” She said all
breathily.
“Hey.” He straightened. “I’ve been looking for
you.”
She smiled. “I’ve been looking for you.” Was it
so weird she was looking for a patient at this place?
He nodded. “I had a really great session with
Dr. Schneider today that ran long and I think you’ll
be interested that I’ve decided something.”
“What?”
“Well…I actually told Dr. Schneider about your
Nana and the walk with God thing.”
She felt nervous. “Okay.”
He grinned. “When I get back to L.A. I’m going
to see a private therapist Dr. Schneider
recommended.”
Her heart raced.
“And the therapist is also a pastor. I…want to
know God again. I want to have something more
than willpower. No, I need something stronger than
my willpower. My own willpower has failed me too
many times.” After a moment of solemnity, he
flashed her a smile. “And I wanted to thank you for
helping me realize that.”
She smiled.
He pushed the package forward. “I hope it’s
okay. I got this for you.”
Kira was hesitant. He knew she didn’t like to
receive gifts.
He sensed her nervousness. “What you’ve done
for me is a big deal, Moonwater, so swallow your
pride and prepare yourself to receive it.”
She smiled at him, hating he could do this to
her.
As she opened the box, there was white tissue
paper concealing the gift.
She had to put it on the floor, but as she bent
over, he swooped it away and moved inside his
room. “You’re not putting this on the ground.”
Tentatively, she followed him, nervous about
going into his room.
He put the box on the bed and waited.
As she approached him, she couldn’t help but
smell him. Mint mouthwash, then some expensive
cologne. Not a love potion of hers, but a different
one of his own kind she thought.
His model hair was still long on top and had
gotten longer. The sides were shaved and the top
hung sexily into his eyes.
Erupting into the bottom of her stomach were
butterflies. Dang, the man was gorgeous and good.
Better then she could have imagined. All she
wanted to do was kiss him.
Dang it. She wanted so much with him.
His eyes were happy. He pointed to the bed.
“Finish opening it.”
She giggled, loving the way he demanded
simple things like this as if he was telling her to pick
up a gun and target enemy forces.
His mouth twisted into a smile, in reaction to
her giggle. “What?”
“Nothing.” She gently tore the tissue paper and
she could sense he wanted to just rip it off.
Then…there it was.
Her breath caught.
Pink lace over white silk taffeta, in waves with
tiny little butterflies hand embroidered.
Nana’s prom dress.
Gently, she put her hand on it, feeling like she
might break it, like it would crumble to pieces at
her touch.
Gingerly, he picked it up and held it up to her.
“I had a designer in L.A. make it.”
“But…how?”
He whipped out his phone. “Got my phone
back last week and I already had Kevin’s number,
so I asked him to text me the pic. I wanted it to be a
surprise.”
Instantly, she felt the tears misting in her eyes.
“It’s so beautiful.” She gently took it out of his
hands and pulled it to her. “I actually have the old
dress in a trunk and it’s yellow and tattered.” She
held it and closed her eyes as a tear escaped.
Opening her eyes, she looked at him and she knew.
She loved him. “You did this. For me.” It was
the closest she’d felt to Nana in…so long. It meant
everything to her.
He carefully took the dress out of her hands,
put it on the bed and then pulled her into his arms.
She held to him, loving that he did this for her.
He was so thoughtful.
“What are you thinking, Moonwater?”
She sniffed, not realizing until this moment that
tears were in her eyes. “I…” She pulled back and
stared into his eyes. Gently, she put her hand on his
face. “You…don’t like buying people off, you…
like to take care of people.”
He went completely still.
She smiled at him, falling even more in love
with him as she realized this. “Nana always took
care of me. I think that’s part of the reason I could
have a crappy boyfriend.”
He blinked.
“But…you remind me of her.” She smiled. “I
didn’t even know how much I needed taking care
of until right this minute.”
Another round of tears tumbled down her
cheeks. “I’m kinda falling pretty hard for you,
Movie Star.”
He smiled and took her hand. “I like the sound
of that.” He winked at her. “Cause I’m kinda falling
kind of hard for you too.” He leaned forward and
like the wings of the butterfly kissed her.
Frozen. That’s how it felt at this moment. Like
Kira could be happy never leaving this space and
time with this man.
They stood there holding each other, everything
feeling like it was more than just a chance
encounter with a movie star. More than a love
potion, more than she had ever dreamed a
relationship could be.
L
C H A P T E R 1 1
ater that night, when B.C. was staring out
at the moonlit sky, he thought about Kira.
Of course, he wasn’t stupid when it
came to the fact he was falling in love with her. He
knew that they were in this amazing bubble. It
worried him a bit that things might not be exactly
the same after. Not on his part, but when they got
back to reality. His reality. Of Hollywood. Movie
sets. It was a different life than Kira knew or even
could know.
It had actually been a good thing to tell Dr.
Schneider about Kira and him because the doctor
had really pushed him in therapy about the fact that
his sobriety had to be all his own.
Over and over, the doctor hit this hard and
discouraged his relationship with Kira.
B.C. knew the doctor just worried about him.
He got that. The thing was, even though B.C. tried,
he couldn’t describe to the doctor the changes that
were taking place inside of him. Sure, he was falling
for Kira. That was a plain as day. He was changing.
He could feel it. He was reading the Bible, he’d
even started praying, which was strange for him.
When he’d wanted to pray he’d asked the
doctor how and the doctor had just said, ‘Some
people pray on their knees, some people pray all
day in their minds, there’s no right way to do it.’
This mystified B.C. and he kind of avoided
doing it for a few days. When he told Kira about it
she said, ‘Why don’t you try it when you’re
running. That way you don’t have to think about it
so much.’
So he had. It felt weird at first, talking to God in
his mind. As he kept trying every day, he found
himself telling God everything. About his dad dying
and how he’d been so angry for a long time he
didn’t have him. About his mother and his recent
realization that she only used him. About his buddy
Troy and how unfair it’d been that he’d been taken
so young. About all the bad stuff he’d done. He
actually found himself apologizing to God for
hurting the thing he’d created….his body. Which
had been an awesome realization. His body was
God’s creation.
When he’d told Dr. Schneider all the things he
was realizing, for the first time, Dr. Schneider had
smiled and told him, maybe he wouldn’t have to
see him at Red Rock Acres again after all. He took
out the little bottle of oil Dr. Schneider had given
him and told him to diffuse in his room. He looked
at the label ‘white fir.’ He put a couple of drops in
and started it, taking in a long breath. It was
supposed to help him break bad family patterns of
addiction. He needed any help he could get.
He smiled, thinking that he actually felt good.
Really good. Hopeful. Happy. Better then he’d
been in a long, long time.
He did want sobriety for more than Kira. He
wanted it … because he kinda thought God wanted
it for him too. This knowledge actually brought him
to the realization, that God might help him, too.
That reality had been amazing. He could rely on
God’s strength. Every day he felt more and more
optimistic and he wanted to do more and more for
others. He wanted to give more.
Smiling, he pulled out his phone and pressed her
number. He’d gotten that earlier in the week from
Kevin, too. He’d wanted to have the dress be such
a big surprise.
It was weird to make a phone call after so long.
“Hello,” she said sleepily.
He felt bad, but he knew this had been a
possibility. “Are you asleep?”
He could hear her shifting around. “What if I
said yes?”
He felt a tiny bit bad but it was only ten-thirty.
“I’m sorry.”
“Naw, I was actually just messing with the
potions book. I’m re-doing Nana’s recipes. Making
some potions that I think people might like.” She
cleared her throat. “Actually, Dr. Schneider said he
would help me sell them. Or market the potions,
whatever I want.”
B.C. had to ask. “Will you let me help you?”
With his connection among the ultra-rich, he could
make her like…millions of dollars.
She hesitated. “I don’t know.”
“Hey, I’m the one the potions were used on,
remember.”
She giggled and he loved the sound of it.
“I could just do one commercial. I have a team
that could help me.”
“Of course you do.”
“I could star in it.” He sat up in bed.
“Who else?” she offered.
Loving this idea more and more for her he
grinned. “We could star in it.”
“What? No,” she said quickly.
His mind was already going a million miles an
hour. “Moonwater, listen to me, this will get you
back to Julliard with no problems, are you hearing
me?”
She chuckled and then said, “Noooo.”
“Why?” he demanded, feeling happy and
slightly giddy that he could help her with Nana’s
recipes and with Julliard at the same time. He got
out of bed and ran a hand through his hair. “I’m
serious. You won’t let me buy you off, but you
never said I couldn’t help you.”
She sighed. “Isn’t it the same because you’re a
movie star?”
“No, because my help isn’t automatic for
people. I would be doing it because I wanted to do
something for my girlfriend.”
There was quiet for a moment.
Was this really the ninth grade and he was
begging a girl to go out with him?
“I like the sound of that.” She said quietly.
His heart skipped a beat. “You do?”
He could hear bottles clinking in the
background.
“But you still can’t help me.”
He sat in the chair that overlooked the grounds,
his mind still buzzing about how he could just send
out a couple of texts and a couple of tweets and
everything would be lined up for her. He thought
about how different she was from any woman he’d
dated. From any woman he’d been around.
“Please.”
She let out a small whine. “No.”
He stood, sensing he was breaking her down.
“Just think about it.” He went into his car salesman
mode, then his Brooklyn accent. “Think about it,
sweetheart, and I think you’ll think about the idea
and it’ll grow on you and you’ll love it.”
She laughed and he felt like he’d won.
An epiphany smacked him in the face. He really
did like helping people. She was right and he loved
that she was right … he liked helping people, not
just buying them.
“Yoo hoo?” she said sing song-ish into the
phone.
“Hey.” He went back to his bed.
“You got radio silent for a sec.”
Liking what he’d been thinking about, he
shared it with her.
“Ah,” she said after he’d explained it.
“Actually, I think that makes sense.”
“You do?”
She giggled. “I think you should go help build
catfish ponds in Africa because you like to help
people so much.”
Bam, dead energy.
“Sorry,” she whispered.
He let out a breath and lay in bed, commanding
himself to relax. He heard noise on her end in the
background. “What are you doing right now?”
“Oh, I’m going room to room, shutting the
blinds. I’m locking the doors. Kevin is already
asleep and I’m shutting off lights.”
He could hear it all and he imagined himself
there.
“Tell me more about it.”
She laughed. “You want to hear about the
ranch.
“Every detail.”
She hesitated.
“Moonwater, phone manners.”
She laughed.
“Okay, when you drive here from the highway
there’s a long, dirt road that winds down a lane with
trees. In the spring and summer the trees are shady
and wonderful. When you get to the house, there’s
a giant flagpole. When we were kids, we would
have to get up with Nana and pray and recite the
pledge of allegiance as she put it up.”
For some reason, this made B.C. a bit
emotional. Thinking of how much he loved his
country. How much he loved to hear about
Americans who valued their country. “Teaching
kids patriotism, I like Nana more and more.”
“Then there’s a white house with black
shutters. There are two columns that make it look
stately. And a black door that Nana always had a
huge wreath on according to the season.”
He was already in love with it.
“Continue.” He wanted the rest of the story.
“I was actually thinking…why don’t you just
come out on Friday?”
He did suddenly sat up in bed. Of course he’d
though about it. He didn’t know how to invite
himself.
“You can have a tour and…I’ll have dinner
ready.”
The center of his chest squeezed. An American
girl with home cooking? It all felt so perfect and
so…not his life. He wanted this life. He wanted it
so badly right now he could taste it. Wanted it so
much he would give up anything for it.
“Okay.”
For a second she didn’t even say anything.
“Okay.” Then she giggled.
“What?”
“Nothing. I just feel silly.”
He liked her good nature and her naivety and
all things about her. “Why?”
She scoffed. “Because you’re…B.C. Knight!”
She said it so understated, it made him laugh.
“Wow, the way you say it does make me sound
pretty incredible.”
She laughed. “How am I supposed to say it?”
He was instantly embarrassed.
“Tell me. How do you like your name said.”
He grinned. Yes, he would tell her. “When I
was in high school I played football and I always
think of the way the announcer said my name.
“Ladies and Gentleman, number eleven, the
halfback leading the team in touchdowns,” he
cupped his hands and said it in the announcer’s
voice, “B.C. Knight.” He made an audience
clapping sound.
She laughed.
He laughed, too knowing he was silly, loving he
could be silly with her.
She giggled more. “I like it.”
He lay back down, liking this conversation so
much. “I like you, Moonwater,” he said softly.
She was quiet for a minute longer. “So Friday
you’ll come to tour the ranch and have dinner?”
Was this the end of the conversation? He didn’t
want it to end. “Hey, no let’s keep talking.”
She laughed that singsong laugh he was getting
used to. He wished he was with her. That she was
in his arms and he was holding her, touching her
hair, playing with her hand, kissing her.
“What do we have to talk about?” she asked
lightly.
“Are you coming to the premiere with me or
not?”
“Oh.” She sounded like she’d forgotten.
Which didn’t surprise him. How many women
would want to go with him, jump at the chance?
But Kira had forgotten. “I bought you the dress…”
She sighed. “I don’t know if I can get away.
There’s so much.”
He wouldn’t hear that. “I already cleared it
with Kevin.” B.C. was taking no chances.
She laughed. “Oh, perfect, you’ve gotten
permission from the grand duke, is it?”
He smiled. “Yes, lovely maiden, will you please
accompany me to the ball?”
She let out another breath. “I’ll give you a
definite maybe.”
“No,” he laughed. “I’ll get Kevin to give me
one of those potions that would work on you.”
Now she did laugh. “You think it would work
on me?”
“I’m willing to try.”
“Good night, Movie Star.”
W
C H A P T E R 1 2
hen Kira pulled up to the facility
Thursday morning, she wasn’t
prepared for the scene in front of her.
A whole slew of cars and vans were outside of
the facility. Crowds of dozens of people milled
around, holding cameras.
She was assaulted when her car came into the
parking lot.
What the heck?
She got out and a reporter stepped into her
personal space. “We are here, outside Red Rock
Drug Rehab, where it has been reported that B.C.
Knight has had an illicit affair with a woman by the
name of Kira Moonwater.” The reporter stuck the
microphone in her face. “Ms. Moonwater, do you
have a comment?”
Kira rushed toward the facility, shaking her
head, feeling her heart rate kick up. What the heck?
The reporter still tried to shove the microphone
into her face. “Kira Moonwater, do you want to tell
your side of the story?”
A bunch of security guys wearing black SWAT-
type outfits formed a barrier in front of the door.
Dr. Schneider was there, yelling out to them, “Let
her through!”
The security parted and she heard snaps of
cameras and felt the flashes on her skin. She
thought she might have a heart attack.
When she got to the lobby it was a mixed
scene. Clark and Tricia, both staring at her with
accusing looks. Gary and Tina and Zoe, giving her
expectant looks.
Gary frowned at her. “Why did you sell him
out, Kira?”
She was stunned. “What?”
B.C. was instantly at her side, taking her hand.
“I spoke to Dr. Schneider. Would you mind if we
went to his office?”
Nervous would be the lame version to describe
how she was feeling. More like…horrifically
horrified. “They said we had an illicit affair?”
B.C. patted her hand. “They lie, just ignore it.”
The very center of her chest was trembling.
Ignore it? Ignore all those people shoving
microphones in her face. Precipitously she
realized…this was B.C.’s life. What the heck had
she done by getting involved with B.C.? Could she
handle this?
They got to Dr. Schneider’s office and B.C.
waited for the doctor as he closed the door behind
him.
Dr. Schneider scowled and pointed to B.C. “I
didn’t want this to happen.” He rubbed his balding
head nervously.
B.C. put his hands up. “I know. I’m so so sorry.
I take full accountability.”
The doctor looked stunned.
“How can I make this right?” continued B.C.
Kira’s mind was whirling with craziness. “It’s
my fault too,” she said robotically. “I shouldn’t
have let myself get close to a patient. I shouldn’t
have—”
B.C. scowled and shook his head. “I am not
your patient.” He pointed at Dr. Schneider. “I might
be his patient, but not yours. Plus, this is not your
fault.”
Although she appreciated his heroics, she found
herself shaking her head and apologizing again to
Dr. Schneider, but B.C. kept interrupting.
Finally, she threw her hands up. “I need to
leave.”
“What?” both men said at the same time.
She walked toward the door. “I’m sorry, I…
Nana would be so ashamed I did this to you, Dr.
Schneider. You gave me a job, you’ve helped me
try to figure out how I can sell my remedies. I never
should have put you in this position and now all this
crazy is upon you.” She turned to B.C. who had
that grim, crossed arms, military face on.
“I’m sorry, B.C. I can’t do this with you. I
can’t.” She rushed out, down the hall, ignoring all
the looks, and back through the paparazzi, knowing
her whole world had just exploded.
L
ATER
THAT
NIGHT
Kira sat on the porch. It was
getting dark and she’d had this nervous energy all
day. Self-loathing. She’d watched some of the news
and she couldn’t understand how the story had
leaked.
Kevin sat heavily beside her drinking a bottle of
water. He was dusty from all the ranch work. “You
look like you’ve been crying.”
She sighed. “Thank you, Captain Obvious. Did
you see the media report that I had an illicit affair?”
Kevin burst out laughing.
Which wasn’t what she expected. His laughter
interrupted her victim-ness. “Why are you
laughing?”
He grunted. “Kira, come on, you’re…” He gave
her a speculative look.
“What?” Now she was feeling offended and
didn’t know why.
“Did you have an illicit affair?”
“No.” She answered instantly.
“Then,” he said and threw up his hands. “Why
are you upset?”
She felt better with her cousin by her. He was
always so good to her and made her look at things
differently too. “I don’t know.”
He shook his head. “You can’t be afraid of
what people will say, Kira. People say a lot of
stupid stuff.”
She let the words sink in. It was true. Her mind
flashed to B.C. and how he must be feeling.
Kevin turned to her. “So what are you going to
do, Cuz?”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, are you going to the premier?”
“No,” she said quickly.
“Does he want you to?”
“I don’t know.”
Kevin pulled out his phone and showed her a
bunch of texts from B.C. “He’s telling me he’s
going to be here tomorrow for a tour and dinner,
then he’s going to take you to L.A. for the
premier.”
Her heartrate quickened. “No, he’s not,” she
said adamantly.
Kevin sighed. “Kira, listen.” He reached out
and put his hand over hers. “I like B.C.”
This was unusual for her cousin. He mostly
stayed out of her business most of the time unless
she specifically asked him. “You do?”
He nodded. “I see potential in him.”
She had to laugh because it sounded funny how
he was acting like a father would act.
Kevin shrugged. “The guy won’t stop texting
me about how the love potions could be made into
a book and he could do the commercial and how
we could get a company to produce the recipes and
that’s how you could pay for Julliard.”
She waved a hand into the air in dismissal, but it
touched her that B.C. was trying to enlist Kevin’s
help. “I don’t need his help.”
Kevin squeezed her hand. “Do you remember
what Nana used to say about true love? About how
it was a lot like charity.”
She hesitated, then thought of the lecture. “The
bible verse: Charity suffereth long, and is kind;
charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is
not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly,
seeketh not her own.”
Kevin pulled his hand back. “I like B.C. I think
he’s always lived kinda like this. Maybe he’s had to
modify it. Instead of giving away plane tickets, he’s
taking care of you in other ways.”
She felt regret for just leaving him earlier.
Kevin reached behind him and pulled a letter
out of his pocket. “This came for you today.”
Her heart nearly stopped. It was a letter from
Julliard.
He shoved it at her. “Open it.”
Her hand shook as she tore it open. She
scanned the letter quickly and then let out a laugh.
“I got it.”
Her cousin was pulling her up and out of the
chair and swinging her around.
They both held to each other, laughing.
He let her go and took the letter, reading it
himself, then smiling at her. “You got it!”
She laughed.
“What are you going to do, Cuz?”
She stood and walked away. “Excuse me, I
have a call to make.” Without hesitating, she went
to the front of her house and out the front door,
pushing his number.
He answered on the first ring. “Hello.”
“Hey.” Her voice was light, breathy.
“Hey,” he said, sounding unsure.
For a moment neither of them spoke.
Her heart hammered in her chest, then she
asked. “I realized that you just want to help me
fish.”
“What?”
She got choked up. “Nana always said you can
give a man a fish and feed him for a day or you can
teach him to fish and feed him for a lifetime.”
“I’m still not understanding you.”
“You want me to be successful with these
potions so I can support myself. So I can go to
Julliard if I want.” Tears suddenly streamed down
her face. “You want to help me without buying
me.” Gratitude washed over her.
He let out a light laugh. “I guess that’s true, I
just wouldn’t have said it like that.”
She hated and loved the fact this man was so
good to her.
“Thank you, B.C. for offering to be in my
commercial for my love potions, I’m going to take
you up on that offer.”
For a second there was no response then he said
quietly. “Thank you for letting me help.”
She sniffed. “So, I have a question about this
premier.”
For a second he didn’t respond, then he let out
a light laugh. “You’re coming?”
She laughed. “I need a question answered.”
“Okay.”
“Umm…” she was feeling nervous thinking
about this Hollywood lifestyle. “Where do you go,
when you don’t want to be with the guests?”
“Oh.” He sounded confused. “You mean at the
after party?”
“Yeah.” She was searching for something to
talk about. Something that would make it feel
normal.
“Well,” B.C. cleared his throat. “You see,
Travis SanBrook’s mansion is notorious. So after
we go to the premier, we’ll go to his house and it
has all these English gardens and it has a ballroom.
I like the English gardens. There’s a fountain with
water coming out of fish’s mouths.” His voice
trailed for a minute. “I like to just go out there and
be alone.
Her heart still pounded hard. “I’m sorry, B.C. I
shouldn’t have left today. I didn’t know what to do.
I felt like I was in trouble.”
“It was my mom.”
This took her off guard. “What?”
“My mom called and told me I should thank her
for helping to catapult my career back into the
media’s eyes.”
Kira grunted, unbelieving, but very much
believing the women she’d seen that day at the
facility would do that to him.
He scoffed. “I realized today, Kira, that I don’t
care what people think or know. I just care about
the truth. I actually talked to God about it.”
“You did?” Her heart thudded inside her chest.
She liked that he’d said this.
“Yeah, I’ve been talking to him on my runs and
today—this was the main topic. Truth. This is what
I want in myself and this is what I want with us. I
don’t care what the media says. I can’t care. I just
care about the truth.”
She thought about how much he’d changed
since she’d met him. How much she was changing
too. “You’re pretty amazing, B.C. Knight.” She said
his name like an announcer would say it.
He laughed. “So are you.”
Then she started laughing and laughing, almost
hysterical laughing.
“Hey, I’m still on the phone, Moonwater. I’m
going to take this personally.”
She laughed even harder. “I’m laughing
because of how much I’m screwing it up too. I
think the bottom line is that I feel I’m not good
enough and I hate it.” Holy cow, she’d just had
therapy.
“I feel the same way. I was even torturing
myself today that you would get back with Spence
or something.”
It hit her…he had the same insecurities she did.
“I want to be with you.” She really did.
“You do?” He asked.
She could tell he was smiling.
“I do.”
“Good, Moonwater, cause I want to be with
you, too.”
It felt so funny to her that this was their teenage
love confession awkwardness happening. “Good,
we’re in this together from here on out.”
“Sounds perfect.” He said.
“Oh, and I have to tell you something, since
we’re being real.”
“Okay.”
“I applied for a scholarship.”
“You did?”
“I never thought I was good enough to apply
before. Spence would always joke that only the
really good kids had scholarships, but I applied
right after Nana passed and I got it.”
B.C. let out a whoop. “That’s awesome!”
She laughed. “I am good enough.” She said, her
voice shaking.
“Yeah you are.” B.C. confirmed. “You’re
amazing.”
It was so humbling to hear him say that. “Thank
you.”
“I’m so happy for you,” B.C. said.
“Thank you.” She wiped beneath her eyes.
“But I realize too, that I want to come back to the
ranch at some point, too.”
“Why not?” asked B.C. “You can have both.”
She smiled. “Yeah, I think I can.” She laughed.
“And I might like to hang out with this movie star
in L.A. sometimes, too.”
He let out a sigh. “That sounds amazing.”
It was strange to her that she could see a future
with this man. See them hanging out at the ranch, in
L.A. or anywhere. She just wanted to be with him.”
He sighed. “Well, tomorrow, I’ll leave this place
and be out there. I don’t know when, but sometime
for dinner?”
She smiled. “I’ll cook something.”
“Perfect.”
Happiness surged within her.
“Then we’ll drive to L.A. and you’ll spend the
night, in your own room, at my house. My security
guys will chaperone. I’ll tell them to lock me up
when we go to our separate spaces at night. Like
the old movie Wolfman, where they used to have to
shackle him. Do you remember that?”
She laughed again, unable to picture Wolfman.
“Okay.”
“Night, Moonwalker.” His voice was low.
“Night, Movie Star.”
F
C H A P T E R 1 3
riday morning B.C. got behind the
wheel of his Porsche and couldn’t
deny that it felt good to be driving again.
Luckily, the paparazzi had finally been forced
to leave when the St. George Police showed up and
escorted them off the private property. Truthfully,
he didn’t care about that. He didn’t care about
being photographed or getting back for the premier
or meeting with the producers on the ‘biggest role
of his life’ that awaited him in back in L.A.
He cared about her.
The look on her face when she’d left had about
broken him. Last night’s phone conversation had
made him hopeful.
He wanted a life with her more than anything.
He’d spent the next two hours talking to Dr.
Schneider about it. About everything he was
feeling. Truthfully, he liked Dr. Schneider; the man
had been an integral part in helping him see what
he’d been doing in his life to make it superficial.
What he’d been caring about that made him turn to
drugs to feel better.
He needed real.
The real him.
And…the real her. At least…he hoped she
would want him too.
Taking a chance, he stopped at a jewelry store
on the way to the ranch.
Maybe he was crazy, but he didn’t care. If she
insisted on being Amish about her standards, then it
was an easy decision—he’d marry her!
As he drove up to the ranch, it didn’t disappoint
him.
Big trees, long-winding driveway. Then the
stately looking house with black shutters. Tall flag
pole with Old Glory waving in the light breeze. He
thought of how he should tell her to add the flower
boxes to the description. They were beautiful.
Suddenly, his palms felt nervous and he was a
bit sick.
What if…it all went to crap? This was
uncharted ground for the drug-free B.C.
He parked and saw cows out in a pasture and
then saw Kevin wearing wranglers, a cowboy hat,
work gloves, boots – the whole deal.
Their eyes met, then Kevin nodded and began
striding toward him.
It relieved him that Kevin didn’t look mad. He
and Kevin were texting pals. He got to him and
they shook hands.
“What’s up, man?”
B.C. relaxed. “Nice to see you again, but I
can’t lie. I’m here to see her.”
He frowned at B.C. “I hate to be the one to tell
you this but Spence showed up about an hour ago.
B.C. saw the Hyundai, a rental car. Adrenaline
shot through him and he wanted so bad to fight.
“Where is she?”
Kevin’s eyes fell to the house. “In there.”
B.C’s heart raced. “With Spence,” he said, and
knew it was the truth by the way Kevin looked at
him.
Rushing, he took the steps two at a time, not
bothering to ask permission to go in.
K
C H A P T E R 1 4
ira hadn’t known what to do when
Spence had shown up a bit ticked
off.
Of course he’d seen the coverage of her
walking into the facility and he’d heard the reports.
He’d shown up this morning in quite a rage.
Now, he sat at the kitchen table with her,
drinking some ‘tea’ which was a calming remedy in
fact, and droning on and on about the poor Africans
and how he’d had to leave the village and…
Truly she felt like a heel, thinking she didn’t
really care at the moment about the poor Africans.
“What?” he asked, after a couple of moments
of her not doing her usual sympathizing. The
sympathizing she’d done the past year. “So what do
you have to say for yourself?”
Had he really just asked that? “We are not
together Spence. This was established weeks ago.”
“What are you talking about? I’m paying for
Julliard,” he shouted.
The ridiculousness of him even being here made
her want to throw something. Unfortunately, it also
brought up all her insecurities. “No, you’re not.”
“It’s already paid.” He said it like now she was
his indentured servant.
Shaking her head, she couldn’t believe him.
“Did you even think about how I needed you when
Nana died?” She sounded so weak. She hated
herself for sounding so weak.
“Pfft.” He threw up a hand. “I told you I’d just
gotten there, I was just starting to get to know
everyone in the village. You don’t understand,
these people have nothing.”
“I had nothing,” she said, feeling a tear leak
down her face at the way it was so blatantly
obviously now that Spence hadn’t cared. “I had lost
my Nana.”
He put up a hand. “Please, don’t tell me
another story about your Nana!” he erupted. “Nana
says this and Nana has a potion for that. And Nana
wanted me to wait to sleep with someone because
of God.” He glared at her. “God’s not real! He’s
just a construction in your head!” he shouted.
She rushed toward the kitchen entrance. “You
need to leave.” She held open the pantry-style door
and tried to calm her shaking. What the heck had
she been doing the last year? Wasting so much of
herself on him?
After hem-hawing and lots of mumbling
“Unbelievable.” Spence finally moved to the door,
stopping in front of her.
He did something she never would have
imagined. Something not very characteristic of him.
Something desperate. He grabbed her and planted a
kiss on her. So passionate and so angry.
She pushed against his chest.
Then she heard a scuffle from the front door
and the word, “Moonwater?”
W
C H A P T E R 1 5
hat in the world had happened?
B.C. found himself staring at
Kira in a lip lock with the idiot, he presumed.
Yanking back, Kira looked angry and she
pushed Spence away hard. “Why did you do that?”
She turned to B.C. “It’s not what it looks like.”
B.C. was reeling, he stumbled back and nearly
knocked over Kevin.
Spence, or who he presumed was Spence,
turned to him and glared. “Oh, the movie star.
Perfect.” He snickered. “Guess you can see, she’s
still mine!”
For a second B.C. couldn’t breathe and then all
he saw was red. He clutched a hand into a fist.
Kira put up a hand. “Wait, don’t hit him!”
B.C. blinked. “What the…” then he thought of
what a fool he was. He had a ring in his pocket. He
had trusted her. He had thought this was real.
Her face turned to him and she looked so angry
and confused.
He did the only thing he could do….
He left.
W
C H A P T E R 1 6
hat was she doing? Kira waited in
the back seat as the Uber driver
weaved his way through the streets of L.A. She was
going to the premier. Nervous jitters assaulted her
and she stomach felt unsettled, like she might throw
up.
She’d been devastated after the whole ordeal
with B.C. walking in while she was kissing Spence.
It’d been awful, she’d gone after B.C., but he
wouldn’t stop. She’d tried to call him, but he
wouldn’t answer. She’d gone to her room and cried
and looked out over the ranch and felt so hopeless.
Then Kevin had called her downstairs and, to her
complete surprise, Dr. Schneider had been there.
“Usually, I don’t get involved.” The doctor had
scowled. “Especially because I don’t encourage
patient-staff relations.”
She’d felt guilty.
He
sighed.
“But
you
are
Lulubelle’s
granddaughter.” He’d flashed her a smile. “And,
B.C. shared a lot of things with me.” He cocked an
eyebrow. “Things that led me to believe that, while
he was doing a lot of changing on his own, he was
also falling in love with you.” He sighed. “He told
me about how you two would joke about the love
potions, and I don’t believe a potion can make
someone fall in love, but … I do believe in love.”
His words filled her with hope. “At first I was
worried you might replace drugs for B.C., but I
want you to believe I don’t think that’s the case at
all. And after I heard what happened between you
two, I just knew I had to get involved.”
She had been completely floored. “You did?”
Then he handed her a phone number and
address. “I contacted B.C.’s agent, they’ll have a
car for you at the airport to take you to the premier
if you still want to go.”
At that moment, she felt like Nana had been
there, watching over her, guiding her to this night –
back to B.C. because she had to believe she would
actually make it back to him.
Kevin, of course, had doused her with All My
Heart before he’d dropped her off at the airport and
told her to ‘get her man back.’
When the car stopped, she saw lots of cameras
flashing and people dressed beautifully getting out
of limousines along with one person she never
thought she would run into tonight.
B.C.’s mother.
A guy wearing a tux reached out and opened
the door for her. “Hello there, you must be Kira.”
The guy was one of those overly polished types.
His hair slicked back a bit too much, his shoes a
little too polished.
She took his hand and got out.
The guy put on, what she immediately knew,
was a fake smile. “I’m Jake, B.C.’s agent.”
Her heart rate kicked up a notch. “H-hello.”
Where was B.C.? She tried to look for him but
couldn’t see him.
His mother gave her a fake smile and moved to
her, looping her arm with hers. “Jake called me and
told me you were coming. Naturally, he thought I
would want to be in on this surprise for B.C.”
Uncertainty pulsed through her and a heavy
scent fell upon her, like the kind one would smell
when walking through the perfume part of a
grocery store, after teenagers had been messing
around. She coughed.
Suddenly, she was being taken, pulled onto the
red carpet by B.C.’s mother. She put on a phony
smile and posed for the cameras. “It’s a whole new
world here,” she whispered to Kira through her
fake smile. “I don’t know if you would fit in here,
princess.”
Trying to smile and do what B.C.’s mother was
doing, she felt like she had bricks for feet.
“Where’s B.C.?” She asked, looking desperately
for him.
His mother continued to yank on her arm. “Oh,
he’s inside. Come with me.”
As they got closer to the entrance of the
premier, there were more people and they started
getting closer to her, pressing in on her and asking
all kinds of questions.
B.C.’s
mother
would
bat
them
away
dramatically. “Leave room for my baby’s girl
please.”
Tacky.
That’s what this whole show was to Kira and
she could not wait to find B.C.
When they finally got through the door, B.C.’s
mother was closer to her, keeping her in some kind
of vice grip.
“Oh, look there’s B.C. with … the star from the
movie, doesn’t Sheena look amazing!” She said like
some teenager.
Sheena, his co-star, was draped around him, like
some fur coat.
She stopped. It felt like she had taken a punch
to her gut. All the air left her.
There he was on stage, quite a distance away
from her. Kira felt ill and wondered what the heck
she was doing here. B.C.’s mother laughed and kept
pulling her down the red carpet, on their way to
him.
Practicing slow breathing, Kira told herself she
could last until she got to him. She could. She had
to.
Everything happened so fast. She saw B.C.’s
agent on stage with them. The agent whispered
something into the woman’s ear and then she gave
B.C. this look.
Kira saw the look on Sheena’s face and knew
she was going to kiss him.
“B.C.!” She yelled out, wanting to get his
attention, to warn him.
His head jerked, but it was too late. The
woman’s lips were all over him before he saw Kira.
It made her stumble, to see him kissing another
woman. Granted, yes, she’d seen it on the big
screen before, but this felt so … disgusting now.
The audience went wild, people all around them
were clapping and shouting out.
B.C. pulled away from the actress and someone
shouted they needed a picture.
She could tell he was upset, but he held still for
the pose.
Kira wasn’t moving forward any longer. She felt
like her arm would break from his mother yanking
on it and finally, she pushed the woman away. “I
can’t do this.”
Devastated, sickened, and angry with the way
she was feeling, she thought again, about the
Hollywood lifestyle. “This isn’t for me.”
B.C.’s mother jerked her head back and
laughed like she’d heard the funniest joke in the
world.
Kira’s heart raced as she watched B.C. still
posing. This couldn’t be her life. A tear fell down
her cheek.
B.C.’s mother gave her cheek a little pat. “No,
darling, you best head home. Driver’s waiting.”
Part of her wanted to call out to B.C. again, but
the other part of her. The one who felt like
Cinderella at the ball, turned and ran.
B
C H A P T E R 1 7
.C. stood on the veranda of the back
deck, staring into the sunset on the
oceanfront property. It was beautiful,
but tonight he preferred the desert to the ocean.
He exhaled and thought about how he wished
Kira had been here tonight. With him. He thought
about how he’d tried to call her and she wouldn’t
answer. He didn’t blame her. He shouldn’t have left
the way he did back at the ranch. He regretted it
now but when he’d seen her kissing Spence his
brain had gone completely muddled and all he
could think about was every woman he’d had a
relationship who’d cheated on him and used him.
The premier had been a success. The movie
looked good. Which was a relief. He still didn’t
know about getting the part in the other movie.
He’d told Jake he needed a break for a bit and
where to find him if he needed him.
Looking at the bottle of water in his hand, he
thought he should cut out of the party early and not
be around the drugs and the drinking. He didn’t
need that tonight. Or ever really.
Moonwalker’s face flashed into his mind and he
decided he definitely needed to leave this party.
He grinned as he saw his Red Rock Acres group
moving toward him.
Gary had his arm laced through Zoe and Tina’s.
All of them were dressed to the nines and he could
tell they were very happy to be out and about in
Hollywood again.
“Hey, B.C. do you remember the episode when
Mr. Farley comes in the apartment and stumbles
down the stairs.” Gary chugged out a laugh.
B.C. grinned, not wanting to point out that was
pretty much every episode. “I think so.”
Zoe rolled her eyes and hushed Gary. “Be quite.
We’re here to support B.C.” She put on a frown,
but her face wouldn’t really turn down. “Have you
heard from her?”
“Yeah?” Tina asked. “Where is she?”
He shook his head, disappointment filling him.
“Nope.” He hoped he might. Even though he’d left
in such a state of anger. An image of her kissing her
old boyfriend made him want to hit something.
“Hey, guys, want to get out of here?” He asked.
Zoe held up her phone. “Look what I just saw.”
B.C. was curious. For a second he couldn’t
believe it. The image on the screen was Kira, in the
dress he gave her, standing next to his mother at the
Premier.
The reporter’s voice came on. “Caught on tape,
B.C. Knight’s little rehab hook up showed up at the
premiere, only to find him kissing Sheena Turner,
his co-star, in the latest Raced and Wrecked
Movie.” The camera went to a shot of him kissing
Sheena. B.C. thought of the fact he hadn’t known
they would be kissing. Sheena had just planted one
on him.
B.C. was instantly sickened, then angry at
Sheena and his agent. He knew Jake had
coordinated that. He clutched a hand into a fist.
“Where is Kira?”
Zoe shook her head. “We haven’t seen her?”
His mind raced and he was immediately angry
at his mother. She’d done this, too.
Like a wild man, he rushed away from them. “I
have to find her.”
He heard a whistle. “B.C.!”
He turned and saw Jake with Mr. SanBrook
coming toward him. He didn’t have time for this.
“B.C.” Jake said, waving him to them. “Let’s
chat for a minute.”
B.C. contained his anger, shoving it down for
later. Focus. Focus. Focus. This could be the
biggest break in his career as an actor.
Jake gave him that slimy, agent smile. “B.C.,
Meet Mr. SanBrook.”
He shook Mr. SanBrook’s hand. “Nice to meet
you, sir.”
Mr. SanBrook looked him up and down. “You
think you’re ready for the next level? For military,
World War II, Nazi’s, a love story, and everything
fans die for?”
“Yes, sir.” Heck yeah, he was ready but he had
to find Kira. His mind whirled with possibilities of
where she could be.
Mr. SanBrook laughed.
Jake laughed, too.
Mr. SanBrook pulled out a bottle of pills and
popped them open, turning to Jake and him and
holding some out. “I…uh.” He laughed. “Yeah, I
heard you just made it through your first round of
rehab.” He scoffed. “We all have to go back
sometimes.”
Jake eyed him, then put his hand out and took a
pill from Mr. SanBrook, gesturing to B.C. to follow
suit.
Every part of B.C. was on edge and he felt like
he was in high school again and guys on the team
were doing steroids and they offered it to him and
there was all this pressure. He stared at the pills in
Mr. SanBrook’s hand. Reaching out, he picked it up
and held it between his thumb and forefinger. He
examined it; his nemesis, his relief, his savior, his
tormentor. Slowly, he put it down. His heart raced.
“Nah, I don’t need that anymore.”
Mr. SanBrook laughed. “Really? You’re
cured?”
His words were taunting.
Jake put his hand on B.C.’s shoulder. “Just give
him some time, everything will go back to normal.”
B.C. didn’t understand. He glared at Jake. “You
want me addicted to pills?”
Jake shrugged. “I didn’t say that.” He let out a
skittering laugh and looked between the two men.
“I just think you relax more when you have
something.” He gestured to the pills. “I think it
helps take the edge off so you’re not so stressed.”
B.C. wanted to punch him in the face. Anger
exploded inside of him. He glared at Jake and
turned to Mr. SanBrook. “If this is a part of the
project, then I’m out.” B.C. walked away and
glanced back over his shoulder. “Jake, I’m taking
some time off.” He walked down the deck stairs
and toward the gardens and felt freer then he’d felt
for ages because he finally had the freedom to say
no. It felt dang good.
I
C H A P T E R 1 8
t hadn’t been easy to get in the door at
the after party at Travis SanBrook’s
house, but Kira was determined.
After getting half-way to the airport, she’d
decided she wasn’t going to play this game. It was
shocking what his mother had done, but she
remembered what they’d talked about…their
relationship was real.
She was done with letting Spence or B.C.’s
mother or anyone else determine her relationship
with B.C. So she’d called Dr. Schneider and asked
him to use his connections to help her get in. Now
she wandered through all the people and pushed
through the ballroom. The whole place could really
be a fairy tale, she decided. It felt completely
unreal, and perfect and fake.
Hopefully, he would be where he said he went
when he went to these parties. Praying she could
find him and make things right, she went through
the double doors to the deck.
Kira spotted him. Standing by a fountain in the
garden, looking out over the ocean. For a second
the mere sight of him took her breath away.
He was gorgeous and at this moment he looked
tortured.
Her heart skipped and she rushed to him,
unable to stop herself. “B.C.”
He jolted and turned, his eyes widening as he
saw her.
She saw tears on his face.
Of course, then she was instantly crying.
His face brightened into a smile and he opened
his arms.
Then she was running down the deck stairs and
he was moving toward her.
She fell into his arms.
He held her close for a moment and she could
feel his heart beating. He pulled her back. “You
look so beautiful in that dress.”
The whole night she hadn’t even thought about
the dress because of all the other drama, but now
she put her hands on the material and thought about
how he’d had this made for her.
His face looked like it would break with a sad
happy.
She blinked. “You think?”
Once again he pulled her back into his arms,
holding her close. “Kira,” he whispered into her
ear. “You’re so perfect and beautiful and I’m so
sorry.”
This felt like…the only place she belonged.
“I’m sorry, too.”
They stood like that for a long, long time.
Then she pulled back and smiled. “I heard the
best movie stars hang out here.”
Cocking an eyebrow he shook his head. “I saw
the footage of you at the premiere.” He winced. “I
saw me kissing Sheena. I promise you, that wasn’t
me.”
“I know.” Because she did know, “I even knew
it when I saw you but your mother made it…” she
trailed.
“My mother.” He shook his head. “I’m sorry.”
She took his hand. “Remember, we’re only
going to live in truth.”
The edges of his lips turned up into a smile.
“That’s right.” He tugged her in and ever so softly
touched his lips to hers.
Chills washed over her.
He pressed his forehead to hers. “The only
thing that’s real…is us. And no one gets to tell us
what we are. Or what we should be.”
She squeezed his hand. “Or if we’ll work or
not.”
Pulling back, he gazed into her eyes. “I love
you, Kira Moonwater.”
Her heart beat faster. “Good, cause I love you,
too.”
The side of his lip tugged up. “The moment I
first saw you I found what I’d been looking for
every minute of my life. Truth. Goodness. And
you’ve helped me see that I don’t have to just try to
be strong.” He pounded a fist into the center of his
chest. “And God has helped me be strong.” A tear
leaked down his face.
She sniffed and tears were on her cheeks. “You
helped me realize that I deserve someone who
loves me and cares for me.”
He nodded. “You’ve given me what fame,
money, and even pills could never give me. Real
love.” He winked at her. “I would credit the love
potions, but that might be a bit over the top.”
She laughed and pulled him back to her. Their
lips met and everything about him fell over her in
happy waves of pure love. It felt like a bird flying
and going anywhere she wanted to go and he was
flying with her.
Without warning, he dipped her back and kissed
her dramatically.
She giggled, but kept kissing him, thinking how
much she loved this man.
He pulled back and stared at her, caressing her
face. “You’re beautiful.”
She smiled. “So are you.”
He rolled his eyes. “You don’t think the accent
is beautiful.”
The center of her chest lightened. She smiled.
“Don’t bring that up.”
He smiled.
“What about the movie?”
His features darkened. “I got it, but I turned it
down.
“What?”
He shrugged. “Yeah, funny story, the producer
is on pills and it was kinda like a try out…to see if I
would take one.”
She was stunned. “You have to be on drugs to
be the leading role?”
He let out a breath. “I’m over it because I told
them I’m taking some time off.”
She could hardly breathe. “What? What are
you going to do?”
He grinned, then he was on his knee, pulling out
a ring box. “I thought I might go hang out at
Julliard for a bit with this really hot chick who just
got a scholarship.”
She laughed. It was all happening so quickly.
“B.C.?” She whispered, unable to believe that he
was kneeling in front of her.
He stared up at her, smiled and opened the box.
“What do you say, Moonwater? Marry me? And
spend the rest of our lives together, figuring it all
out together and loving every minute of it.
Completely speechless, she stared at the
diamond that was in a butterfly setting. More tears
fell down her cheek.
“Kira,” he whispered.
“Yes!” She fell into his arms and laughed. He
picked her up and spun her around, “Let’s not have
a long engagement.”
She giggled and pulled him in for another kiss.
He deepened it and she felt lost in him and
found in him. Pulling back, she smiled. “Let’s
elope!”
B.C. laughed. “Now you’re talking!”
She held up her phone and pushed Kevin’s
number.
“Hello.” He answered on the first ring.
She grinned at B.C. and felt so happy. “Hey
Cuz, can you get away from the ranch for twelve
hours and meet us in Vegas?”
Her cousin laughed. “I’m there!”
B.C. kissed her and she dropped the phone,
laughing as he picked her up and spun her in his
arms. “Let’s dance together the rest of our lives.”
She felt happy and free, she knew this would be
better than any future she could have imagined.
“It’s a deal!”
B
E P I L O G UE
1 Year Later
.C. sat in the audience at Kira’s
graduation; unable to believe he’d been
married to this beautiful woman for a
little over a year.
As she walked across the stage to accept her
diploma he and Kevin were on their feet, shouting
and hollering and making all kinds of fuss. Of
course, he could see her blushing, but she surprised
him by stopping and pointing out to the audience at
them.
Which only encouraged them and made them
yell louder.
The center of his heart squeezed inside of his
chest. He was so proud of her. It was even more
than pride…it was…something that took his breath
away.
After they’d gotten married in Vegas, he’d
stayed on the ranch with her the rest of the
summer, helping Kevin and it felt…exactly the
place he wanted to be.
It had worked out so well that currently, he and
Kira were having a home built about half a mile
down from Nana’s old house or Kevin’s home. It’d
been so fun building that home with her, designing
it, envisioning the family they would have there,
having a stable place that B.C. could provide for
her and children.
Staying off drugs had been hard. There were
times he thought about taking a pill or having a
drink, but … he also had something way bigger to
live for. A woman, a family, a legacy of love that he
wanted for all of them.
His mother had been out for a visit but she
wasn’t impressed.
The best thing was that B.C. no longer cared
about impressing her. On his long runs he’d talked
with God and decided the best course was….to
forgive her and let her live her life and he would
live his life.
The funniest, most ironic thing that had
happened this past year was when Mr. SanBrook
had called him right after Kira had left for Julliard,
and extended him an official offer to star in his new
movie, Fear of Light, about a guy struggling to
overcome his addictions. He’d laughed so hard,
then accepted the role on the spot.
Even though the past year had been lots of
being away from each other, lots of plane rides
back and forth. Hours of conversations on the
phone, really getting to know her…it was worth it.
Unable to believe it—he fell in love with her more
and more every day.
Kevin leaned over to him. “When are you going
to tell her about the surprise?”
A feeling of anticipation rushed through him.
He’d planned this surprise a couple of months ago
and had tried to coordinate everything perfectly so
she wouldn’t find out.
He grinned and nudged Kevin. “I don’t know,
but the jet is set to take off whenever we’re ready.”
Kevin let out a light laugh. “I’m happy for you
guys.”
B.C. pulled out an envelope and passed it to
Kevin.
Kevin looked confused. “What’s this?”
B.C. grinned. The fact was, second to Kira,
Kevin had become a really great friend and cousin
in law.
Kevin cocked an eyebrow and opened the
envelope, then shook his head and tried to push it
back. “No, I’m not taking them.”
B.C. pushed it back. “Yes, you are. And when
Kira and I get back, we’re going to take care of the
ranch for a couple of weeks and you can just go. Be
free. Take that nice girl you’ve been dating or heck,
propose and use the trip as a honeymoon.”
Kevin’s face blushed and B.C. thought about
the fact he and Kira had so many similar traits—
like turning all kinds of shades of red when they
were embarrassed.
The ceremony ended and the audience clapped
and stood.
After waiting for a few minutes, as Kira hugged
many of her classmates and professors, B.C. had to
force himself to remain calm. He’d flown in this
morning and hardly had any time with her.
Now…he wanted all of her. He couldn’t wait to
reveal his surprise to her.
Finally, she rushed toward him and he loved the
fact that it was the most natural thing for him to
open his arms and have her rush into them.
They both laughed and their eyes held and it
was like…it had always been with her. Real.
Happy. Free.
Their lips met and it was like they were in their
own world and B.C. had to force himself not to just
wildly make out with her in front of everyone.
Giggling, she pushed him back and smiled. “I
have a surprise for you, Movie Star.” She said in a
sing song tone.
He mock frowned and held her tighter,
snuggling her closer to him, loving the way she felt
perfect in his arms. “It’s your graduation, I have a
surprise for you.”
Shaking her head back and forth, she had a silly
look on her face. “Nope, mine’s better.”
Thinking of his surprise, he shook his head. “No
way, mine’s better.”
Her smiled widened even more and she leaned
in to whisper in his ear.
He prevented it. “No, it’s your graduation day, I
want to tell you your present.”
She laughed and he thought she looked like the
most amazingly, beautiful, a bit wild, dancer girl
he’d ever known. Just like the first time he’d met
her. He leaned forward and whispered, “I have two
tickets to Paris and I’ve cleared my schedule for
two weeks.”
He felt her do little jumps of excitement and
then she was kissing him.
He let her, taking the opportunity to pull her
even closer and run his hand down her hair.
Kevin coughed next to them. “We’re in public
people.”
Which made both of them laugh.
He let her go a little and she grinned up at him.
“Are you ready for your surprise?”
Comfortable with the fact she probably
couldn’t top Paris, but pleased she was making
such a fuss and looked so happy, he nodded and
leaned in.
“You’re going to be a daddy.”
Every part of him went still. Then their eyes
met and he instantly had tears in his.
Of course they’d been NOT preventing it, but
not really ‘trying’ either.
Suddenly he let out a whoop and bent down and
picked her up and let out another whoop. He spun
her. “I’m going to be a daddy!”
“What?” Kevin asked next to them.
B.C. put her down.
She fell into him, tears streaming down her
face. “I hope that’s okay?”
He laughed and new tears were on his own
face. “That’s the best news ever!”
Kevin stood next to them, tears on his face, a
smile so wide it might crack his face. He put his
arms around both of them and laughed. “I’m going
to be an uncle.”
They all laughed.
B.C. kissed her again and felt this calm, excited,
happy buzz going through him. “You’re surprise
was better.”
She laughed.
Kevin grinned and put a hand on each of them.
“I wondered if the potion would work, I guess it
did.”
Both of them turned to him all confused.
Kevin grinned. “Love Potion Number 6.”
B.C. and Kira both burst out laughing and B.C.
pulled Kira into him, holding her. “I guess it’s not
just a love potion…it’s a family potion.”
T
HANK
you for reading The Love Potion Groom!
FREE Book!
Don’t miss a single release from Taylor Hart!
If you would like to receive updates on new
releases and receive a book FREE, The Rookie,
sign up
I
F
YOU
LIKED
The Love Potion Groom, you might
also like— the best-selling Texas Titan Romances!
If you haven’t had a chance to read Kade or
Anthony Kincaid’s story, get Kade’s in The Tough
Love Groom
and Anthony’s in The Second
Chance Groom Here.
Or continue reading for a sneak peak at both!
F
T H E T O UG H L O V E G R O O M
elicity Song sat in her office at
DaVinci PR Firm and stared at Kade
Kincaid’s gorgeous face on the television screen.
The starting quarterback for the Texas Titans stood
with an air of grandeur. His chiseled features,
penetrating blue eyes, and blond hair made it clear
why fans affectionately called the man Zeus. He
had the look of a warrior, and in the football
stadium, he was definitely akin to a god.
The reporter pushed a microphone at him. “So
Kade, word on the street is that you and the Triple
Threat are making a big showing at the bachelor
auction tomorrow night to raise money for the
children’s hospital in Dallas. Are you excited about
this?”
Kade dipped his head, cracking a smile. “Well, I
don’t know how excited I am to be sold.”
The reporter laughed. “I’m sure many beautiful
women will bid on you.”
“These things aren’t really my scene,” Kade
admitted, “but when I heard it was for a good
cause, I agreed. It’s a great opportunity to come out
and raise big money. You know, there are lots of
kids who need our help—for their surgeries, to pay
for their therapy …”
As he talked, Felicity sized him up on camera.
She’d only been assigned to be part of his PR team
a week ago, but she’d been studying him nonstop
since then. It was hard not to be intimidated by
him.
“Well …” The reporter turned to the camera. “I
think it’s a great thing you and your buds are doing.
Tell me, is your brother Anthony going to be part of
this auction tomorrow?”
“What?” Kade’s smile faltered.
Felicity’s heart rate kicked up a notch, and
panic propelled her to her feet. It was her job to
notify Mr. DaVinci, who would immediately notify
Mr. Kincaid, if his brother had been spotted in
town. This was not good. Kade’s brother, Anthony,
was also a quarterback—the starting quarterback
for the Houston Sentinels, the Titans’ hottest rivals.
The clip was time-stamped almost exactly an
hour ago. With growing trepidation, Felicity
scrolled through her alerts on Google, Twitter, and
Instagram, searching for news on Anthony Kincaid.
The reporter didn’t seem to notice Kade’s slip.
“It has been reported he is in town this week, and
we thought maybe he’d be another bachelor on the
chopping block, so to speak.”
She found it. Gah! Anthony had tweeted out to
his fans he would be making a trip to Dallas. Dang
it!
Kade’s smile widened, and Felicity recognized
it as fake. “I’m not sure what my brother has
planned, but if he is coming, we’ll get him sold too
and make even more money for those kids.”
The reporter laughed, and the clip ended.
Trembling, Felicity shut her laptop. Crap. Being
part of the Kincaid team was a bigger job than
she’d anticipated. Kade’s father was an oil tycoon
and tight with Mr. DaVinci, the owner and boss of
everything here. He’d been pretty specific on what
her job was: notifying him when she heard anything
about Anthony.
It all felt so stupid to her. Why couldn’t
Anthony let his brother know when he was coming?
Why couldn’t the family just text each other? But
Mr. DaVinci had privately told her there were
family issues they didn’t want to make public. The
brothers didn’t get along, although they didn’t want
their problems splashed all over the news.
Felicity cringed and thought about how she’d
been preoccupied since she’d seen the foreclosure
notice on her mother’s counter. Her mother would
lose her house if Felicity couldn’t come up with the
hundred grand to make it current by the end of the
month.
Putting her hand to her heart, she pulled in a
long, slow breath. She had to keep this job. It was
her fault her mother was losing the house. Those
had been her medical bills, and it was her fault she
hadn’t done this job right.
Her boss burst into her office, looking pale.
“Did you see the latest clip on Kade Kincaid?”
Feeling uncertain, she nodded. “Just looked it
over, sir.”
Mr. DaVinci loomed over her desk. “Well,
apparently, it mentioned his brother coming to
town. You were the one assigned to keep the team
updated as to the whereabouts of Kade’s brother,
and you clearly dropped the ball.”
She sat there silently. What was she supposed to
say?
Fortunately, Mr. DaVinci was cut off by a
commotion coming from the lobby. She followed
him as he rushed out to meet Kade Kincaid, and
Felicity found herself again comparing him to a
thunderous Zeus. He wore a black leather jacket
and held his helmet in a death grip, crackling with
frustration. She surmised he had been on his red
street bike—the one he’d bought and shown off last
month.
He glowered, turning to Mr. DaVinci and
pointing at him like he was challenging him to a
duel. “You!”
Mr. DaVinci, ever the PR master, put on a fake
smile. “Well, hello, Mr. Kincaid. What can I do for
you today?”
Kincaid’s features were tight, controlled. “I
thought we had a deal. You would alert me
immediately when my brother came to town.”
What did you do when the gods came for their
duel? You placated them as best you could. Mr.
DaVinci gestured to Felicity’s office. “Would you
like a drink? Are you hungry? Why don’t you come
into my associate’s office and sit, and we’ll talk
about this.”
Felicity felt her heart rate jump, and her face
stretched with a rubbery smile as Kade’s eyes met
hers.
“Fine.” For all his anger, Kade Kincaid looked
astoundingly unruffled. In fact, she’d seen that look
of determination on the field when he pulled his
helmet off before a huddle. He stormed past her
and sat in one of the chairs in front of her desk. “I
had your word,” he said gruffly, keeping his
attention on Mr. DaVinci, who followed and stood
next to the front of her desk.
Mr. DaVinci spoke calmly. “I can assure you,
Mr. Kincaid, that no one knew Anthony was
coming to town until that video clip.”
Felicity admired Mr. DaVinci at that moment. It
was hard to deal with unrealistic expectations, and
he was obviously good at managing them.
Mr. DaVinci turned to Felicity. “Sir, Felicity is
on this, and she is the best. She doesn’t miss a beat.
If she says no one knew, no one knew.”
Felicity shifted as Mr. Kincaid swung his gaze
to meet hers. A charge went through her, like she
could feel Zeus reach down and touch the earth
with his lightning bolt. The man was, for lack of a
better word, intense. Fierce. Every bit the warrior
she’d been watching almost nonstop for the past
seven days. On the field, he was a pure strategist,
often being called a second coach. He could read
the defense like he had a crystal ball, and it had
earned him a reputation for getting through
impossible defenses.
Mr. DaVinci’s mantra for dealing with his
famous clients popped into her mind: You’ve got to
fake it ’til you make it. The first time she’d sat
down with him, he had explained in detail that
these people don’t shy away from weakness; they
chew it up and spit it out. If you are confronted by
a client you are the least bit intimidated by, you
fake it. Mustering a pleasant expression, she held
her hand out. “Mr. Kincaid, nice to meet you.”
He cursorily shook her hand, then turned back
to Mr. DaVinci. “You better explain to me what
happened.”
Felicity tried not to take the snub personally. He
clearly didn’t want to deal with her.
“We’re not sure, Mr. Kincaid.” Mr. DaVinci’s
tone was the perfect blend of professional and
disconcerted.
Striking out faster than she could track, Kade
pounded a fist onto her desk, rattling the whole
surface and causing her new vase to fall and crack
on the floor. “How could you let this slip through
the defenses?” he demanded. The sound of glass
breaking didn’t even faze him.
Felicity stared at the special vase her mother
had given her last week as congratulations for
getting her new job. She fought the urge to cry.
Mr. DaVinci looked at the glass and then
cocked an eyebrow at Mr. Kincaid. “Keep your
temper in check, please.”
Mr. Kincaid let out a breath and clenched his
hand into a fist, standing. His lip turned up in a
snarl. “Another mess-up, and we’re done. My
business will be gone, and I’m sure you know that
means my father’s business will be gone, too.”
Trudging away from the desk, he whipped on his
sunglasses and turned back, still staring at DaVinci.
Mr. DaVinci kept his poker face and stood, but
didn’t follow him. “Breathe, Mr. Kincaid.
Everything is handled.”
Mr. Kincaid let out a long breath and tugged off
his sunglasses. “We need to talk about Sheena
Galloway. She’s still causing me issues. You need to
make sure she doesn’t bother me tomorrow night at
the auction.”
“Of course.”
“That woman might have had her way with
other quarterbacks like Roman Young and Sam
Dumont, but keep her out of my sights. She’s toxic,
poison, tainted. I went out with her once. She’s
crazy. I don’t want her around.”
Mr.
DaVinci
nodded.
“I
understand
completely.”
Mr. Kincaid pushed a hand through his hair.
“As for my brother, I can’t be blindsided by him
again. I can’t. That’s the one condition I asked for
when I agreed to sign on with this firm.”
“We will have one of our best people at the
auction to make sure everything turns out perfectly,
and you’ll know the next time your brother is in
town. You have my word.”
Barking out a laugh, Kade swung his gaze to
Felicity. “If she’s the one who handled notifying me
before, it appears ‘your word’ is in trouble.”
Felicity’s breath hitched inside of her chest, and
she bit back the urge to tell him off—not just for
doubting her, but also for breaking her vase. Feeling
like a scullery maid, she bent to pick up the glass.
“It’s handled.”
“I guess we’ll see,” Mr. Kincaid said.
Felicity stood, wanting to demand an apology,
wanting to shove the job and walk out, wanting to
be anywhere except here. But as she well knew, she
usually didn’t get what she wanted in life.
Mr. Kincaid lifted his chin and looked down his
nose at Mr. DaVinci. “Your butt is on the line,
DaVinci.” He said the words like he would say it to
one of his fellow players on the field.
Mr. DaVinci glanced at Felicity. “Thank you for
this opportunity, Mr. Kincaid. We won’t let you
down.”
Kincaid’s eyes narrowed and swung toward her.
She met his gaze, feeling every bit as angry as he
appeared to be. She wondered if he would say
something threatening to her. Luckily, she was not a
small woman, standing at roughly five ten. His six-
three frame didn’t intimidate her in the least. No, if
someone asked her what intimidated her about
Kade, she would have told them it was his intense
blue eyes. Hard and dark when he was unhappy or
displeased with a play on the field. Serene and calm
and almost light when he was happy and talking to
an interviewer about his recent project—learning to
fly helicopters.
Abruptly, he turned and left. She and Mr.
DaVinci watched him make his way through the
lobby and down the hall to the elevator.
Once Kade was out of earshot, Mr. DaVinci
turned to her, wearing a stern look that said he
knew he had the upper hand. “Well, Felicity, I
believe in accountability. I believe people should
have a chance to clean up their messes. So here’s
the deal. Make the man happy, and you keep your
job. But if he’s upset even for a second, if I hear
one tiny whiff that he might pull his business after
tomorrow night, you’re gone.”
Felicity didn’t flinch. “Sounds great,” she said,
her jaw aching from holding a fake smile.
“Great.” Mr. DaVinci rushed out of her office.
Putting a gentle hand over her racing heart,
Felicity felt the beats slow as calm determination
filled her. Mr. DaVinci had thrown down the
gauntlet, and she had no problem picking it up. She
worked well under pressure. The times people gave
her the worst odds were the times when she rose up
and left them gaping after her.
She would make Kade Kincaid happy, because
that was her job. But as she bent and picked up the
precious glass, she couldn’t banish the thought that
he was the biggest jerk she’d ever met.
Purchase HERE or read for FREE in KU
Keep reading for a sneak peak at The Second
Chance Groom.
W
T H E S E C O N D C H A N C E G R O O M
ould he show up tonight?
It’d
been
the
worst
day.
Cassidy’s best friend, Anthony Kincaid, had lost his
mother to cancer and it was now only a matter of
hours after the funeral.
She’d stood next to her father at the graveside
service and watched Anthony crumble into sobs.
They were only sixteen, but Anthony had always
seemed more stoic than any sixteen-year-old she
knew. He’d always been the one to calm her over
her own family problems.
Nervously, she flicked on her flashlight and
opened the book in front of her. It wouldn’t do to
worry over Anthony. When she and her father left
the Kincaid house after paying their respects to the
family earlier that day, Anthony had taken her
hand, squeezed it, his eyes glassy and said, "I’ll be
there tonight."
All of her wanted nothing more than to hold
him. Wanted to take his pain. Wanted to be there
for him. They’d known each other for two years.
She’d met Anthony when she’d accidentally
crossed into Kincaid-land without knowing it and
he’d suddenly shown up and threatened to boot her
off his property.
She’d been thinking he was for real, until she’d
seen the joke in his eyes. It was hard to explain it,
once she’d first stared into those chocolate, amber
eyes she’d known everything about him…or that’s
how it’d felt.
The past two years they’d gotten closer and
closer, riding together, then just hanging out. Often
she would watch him play the piano. She loved
him. Fiercely. The past year they’d been there a lot
with his mother, someone who Cassidy could say
she loved, too.
If Cassidy would have had a mother, she would
have wanted her to be like Ellen Kincaid—pure
kindness. They’d played board games and eaten
snacks with her all year as she’d battled the cancer.
Ellen had insisted on bringing a dance instructor in
and Cassidy had been Anthony’s partner. Once
again, Cassidy’s heart clutched and she wondered if
Anthony would come tonight.
Of course, she wouldn’t be mad at him for not
coming. It was just what they did on Friday nights
—sat in the makeshift tree house that had been on
the property when her father had bought the place.
Usually, they would watch a show together on his
phone or talk. Sometimes they would hold hands,
but they’d never kissed before. Not because she
hadn’t thought about it.
For a few months now she’d been obsessed
with kissing him. What would it feel like? He had a
baby face other than just a thin line of facial hair
growing in. She’d wanted to touch his face, but
never had. She told him all the stories rolling
around inside her head that she wanted to write
down. He’d been the first person she’d ever
considered calling a best friend.
Her father had moved her…a lot. Cassidy had
never been close to many people, just books.
Anthony only seemed to have a couple of football
friends and his brother, Kade.
Kade had been kind to her, but at times offish.
Anthony told her that Kade was taking the fact
their mother was dying hard, who wouldn’t? Kade
felt more pressure from his father. Again, as the
older brother, who wouldn’t? Still, there seemed to
be something else that she couldn’t put her finger
on.
A week ago her father had mentioned it was
time to move again, and they’d gotten into a huge
fight. She hated moving. He’d agreed they could
stay until after the fall formal that Anthony had
already asked her to. She was still mad about it
enough that she’d slept in the tree house on the
sleeping bag she kept out here. When she’d woken
in the morning, Anthony had been there…staring at
her. It would have been creepy, except the look on
his face was like sunshine. "You didn’t answer your
texts,” he’d said.
Immediately, she’d gotten up, smoothed her
hair and climbed out of the tree house. "I left my
phone in my room when I rushed out," she’d told
him, halfway embarrassed she hadn’t brushed her
teeth or anything. Not too embarrassed, though.
Not with Anthony.
It was the first time he’d told her, "I’m glad
you’re fighting to stay. I want you to stay.”
At that moment, she had fallen in love with
him. Maybe it was stupid, silly, and right out of a
book, but she didn’t care.
Now here she sat, outside of that very tree
house, with her flashlight and her book, waiting.
She would wait. So what if he was late? She would
wait. If he didn’t come, he didn’t come, she told
herself trying to focus on the story.
Cassidy loved stories that had a strong love
triangle in them. Anthony unceasingly made fun of
her over this, telling her it was evident she wanted
two guys fighting over her. She wanted to tell
him…I just want you.
How could she do that? They hadn’t even
kissed yet.
Nervous butterflies thrummed into her gut.
Guilt assaulted her. She shouldn’t be thinking of
kissing him tonight. Not tonight. He’d been at his
mother’s funeral.
Cassidy’s mother had died in childbirth, so she
had no idea how hard it would be to have someone
as wonderful as Ellen and then lose her. She could
only imagine.
She stared at the pages of text she’d just read in
her book, without really reading them. Her mind
was still spinning and she checked her phone.
Anthony was forty minutes late now.
Nothing.
Unease rippled through her. Should she text
him? She didn’t want to wake him if he had fallen
asleep exhausted. She imagined him doing a face
dive into his bed after all the company and sleeping
to oblivion. How many times had she done exactly
that after moving to a new place?
That was the closest thing to dying she could
imagine—knowing no one. Not having anyone.
She heard the sound of a horse and then…he
was there. Still in black pants and a white shirt, but
his tie and suit coat were gone. Still glassy eyed,
she noted in the moonlight.
Before she knew it the book tumbled from her
fingers as she stood. Then he was there, in front of
her, looking raw and vulnerable and dangerous.
He hesitated, sucking in a breath.
Carefully, like she would approach one of her
father’s new horses, she reached out, softly putting
a hand on Anthony’s face. “Hey, Boss,” she said
softly. It was the nickname she’d given him since
he’d tried to kick her off the property.
His body tensed and he closed his eyes for a
moment before flashing them open and taking her
hand. “Hey, Poe.” She’d forced him to listen to
Edgar Allan Poe poems and the name had stuck.
Anthony’s eyes moved to her lips, then back to
her eyes. He leaned in, seeming to question if he
could kiss her.
Not waiting, she leaned forward, meeting him in
the middle.
Their lips touched and everything exploded
inside of her, like tender butterfly wings, her heart
raced and she knew she would never be the same.
His hands gripped her waist, pulling her into
him. "Cassidy,” he murmured through the kisses,
soft and light.
Pulling back she said, “We shouldn’t…I
shouldn’t kiss you tonight.”
Gently, he took her chin in his hand and traced
her lips with his thumb. “I’ve wanted to kiss you
since the day I met you.” Slowly, he leaned forward
and kissed her again.
She let him, giving in to him.
He pulled back, his desperate eyes met hers,
and a tear trickled down his cheek. “She’s gone,
Cassidy, she’s really gone,” he sobbed. Pulling
himself closer to her, his pain radiated out,
penetrating her heart. At this moment she knew…
she would never let him go.
She wanted to hold on to him forever.
Chapter 1
10 Years Later
Anthony Kincaid sat in his truck in front of
Titan stadium, hesitant to go in for this publicity
stunt today. As much as he liked the idea of helping
at-risk kids, he was just a bit nervous to face the
press. Between his injury last year and recently
being picked up as second-string quarterback by
the Titans, the press wanted the full story on him.
He’d refused because the story wasn’t about him
this year. He was determined everything would be
focused on his brother, Kade.
Anthony thought of Kade. Their relationship
was close, tighter than ever. Their relationship with
their father was close, too. Since Anthony’s
accident, Kade’s marriage, and the upcoming baby,
their father seemed kinder, lighter, more the father
he remembered from his youth before his mother
died.
With a sigh, Anthony stepped out of the truck
and walked toward the stadium, falling into step
with his brother, who was chatting with Xavier
Newton. Ace Sanchez was out with an injury, so
technically the triple threat was no longer a thing,
but Kade and Xavier were still media darlings. He
was happy for them, most of the time. He was. It’d
been such a great experience for Anthony to move
to Dallas, live with his bro for a while, then buy a
house in the Reserves next to Kade and Felicity. He
really did like the redheaded, feisty woman.
“Hey, Kade, Xavier, Anthony, over here!”
Anthony saw James Knight, owner of the
Titans, waving them over. He stood with Rennen
Bradley, the guy who took Ace’s position, and
Brady Giles, the new cornerback transfer from
New England. A lot of testosterone in such small
proximity, Anthony thought.
Mr. Knight shook all of their hands, but focused
on Anthony, plastering on a smile befitting the
rugged businessman. “Just the second-chance
quarterback I was looking for.”
Anthony tried not to roll his eyes at the
reference. He didn’t want to be a second-chance
anything; he just wanted to play the game.
James Knight’s eyes swept over all of them. “I
was just telling everyone there’s a freelance sports
reporter with the Dallas Star who will be doing
interviews today. She’s just looking for a quote.”
Pointedly, he gestured to Anthony. “Of course
everyone is anticipating what is to come for you
this season, so if you wouldn’t mind doing an
interview with her later, that would be great.”
A jolt of adrenaline shot through him. He
wasn’t ready for the piranhas to uncover the secret
he’d been hiding. Only his agent and, of course, his
brother and father knew at this point. “I’ll give a
quote, but I’m not up for a detailed interview.”
Kade coughed. His eyes flicked toward
Anthony in a look of disapproval.
It’d been a bit tricky. Kade thought he got a say
in everything in Anthony’s life, which wasn’t too
outrageous since he’d been the one to convince
James Knight to bring him onto the Titans. It’d
been a win for the salary cap on Draft Day, because
Anthony didn’t care if he only made the league
minimum—not when he had the chance of drawing
closer to his family, getting back on a roster, and
being given a year to prove himself.
“Just the quote,” Anthony said again, meeting
James Knight’s gaze.
Mr. Knight’s lip curled up a bit.
Anthony hesitated, not wanting to tick off the
owner, but he wasn’t going to give in, either. He
wouldn’t risk everyone in Dallas finding out. Not
this year. This was his brother’s year. This was the
Titans’ year to win it all and they needed hometown
support. If the press got a whiff of the thing he was
trying to cover, it would create a crap storm for the
Kincaids. A crap storm that would be his fault.
“Not today,” he repeated firmly.
Kade coughed again. “Should we go over what
we want to teach the kids?” He gestured to the
field.
It was an out Anthony wouldn’t pass up.
“Okay.” He turned to Mr. Knight, waiting to be
dismissed.
Mr. Knight frowned. “Fine, but I want an
exclusive done on you soon.”
“Sure.” Anthony took care to keep as casual as
possible while he and Kade strode away from Mr.
Knight, walking with his brother into the stadium
and then out into the beautiful arena. He figured
he’d been shielded from Mr. Knight thanks to Kade
and his father getting along with him, but he could
see how the older gentleman could be vicious.
Didn’t owners of pro teams have to be?
Kade stopped next to some cones and a sack of
balls on the field. No one was around, except some
staff setting up the drills. “Listen, I know I don’t
have to tell you this, but just be careful ticking off
Mr. Knight. He messes with your life when he’s
mad at you.” He sighed and grabbed a ball, heading
out to throwing distance. “And be careful of the
press.”
Anthony’s hands snapped up to catch a pass
from Kade, and he gripped the ball between his
hands so hard he thought it might pop. Pulling it
back, he sent it sailing back to his brother. “You
think I need a lecture on the press? I am a Kincaid.
And I know I messed up, okay?” He glared down at
his shaking hand and squeezed it by the wrist,
hating that he was so jittery sometimes.
Kade caught the ball and put his hands up in
surrender. “Chill, it’s fine. Let’s just focus on
today.” He pumped his eyebrows at him. “Look at
those reflexes!”
Anthony scowled at him, not needing his
brother’s kid gloves. He backed up and tossed it
back quickly.
With a huff, Kade backed up and snatched it
from the air. “Okay, guess I won’t go easy on ya.”
Anthony went wider and caught the next spiral.
This was what he liked the most about being back
and on the same team with his brother: they could
just throw the ball sometimes. “I’ll be taking your
spot before you know it, bro.”
A spark lit up his brother’s eyes. He threw the
ball harder.
Anthony caught it, but it kinda knocked the
breath out of him. He laughed. His brother was
making a point.
Kade laughed too. “About time I saw that
fighting spirit in you.”
Anthony paused mid-throw. “What?”
“I’ve been waiting for you to stop whining.”
“Oh, I’m a whiner now?”
“Kinda been sounding like it.” Kade quirked his
lip up.
Anthony went farther back and laid out a spiral.
Kade had to run to catch it, diving for it as he
tucked and rolled. It really was amazing how fast
and controlled his brother was. Kade might have
been able to transition to a lot of other positions on
the field. Of course, he didn’t have the speed of X
or Ace, but he might if he worked to develop it.
Anthony laughed, and then he realized how good it
felt to let go and just play. He’d gotten inside his
own head lately, worrying about everything.
Kade threw a spiral at him, a bit off, not too far
away, not the kind Anthony had just thrown where
he would have to dive. Anthony took off after it,
catching it easily.
“Nice.”
Anthony turned and shot it back at him. They
were getting farther and farther apart, but it didn’t
matter—both of them were quarterbacks, used to
throwing it far.
He thought about that day, after he’d gotten
into that car crash and Kade had shown up in
Houston. It’d been an ugly scene with his father
yelling at him. Kade had pushed their dad out of the
hospital room, then sat by Anthony and had a
bonding moment. He thought about how he had
confessed to his brother that he missed just playing
catch together as kids.
Kade shot the football back at him, still
spreading wider. They were almost half a field apart
now, but their eyes met and Kade’s face lit up with
a big, goofy grin as he punched the air. “Kincaids!”
It was something his father had always done to
them when they were on the field and it was go
time. This was where he was meant to be. He might
not understand how his life had ended up here, but
he was here nevertheless, playing with his bro
again. He pushed aside all his insecurity, doubt, and
fear, and he pushed his fist into the air. “Kincaids!”
he yelled back.
“Hey!”
Both brothers turned and Anthony saw
Brandon Walker, affectionately known by the fans
and team as Scar, walking toward them.
Scar wasn’t Anthony’s favorite person. He was
third-string quarterback and had been pretty vocal
about crying nepotism in regards to Anthony being
on the team. Granted, Scar always got a lot of
leeway because he was an ex–Navy SEAL and had
the presence of a warrior to boot.
Scar went to Kade, who fist-bumped him.
“Glad you finally showed up,” Kade teased.
Anthony couldn’t hear what Scar said back, but
Kade roared with laughter. The guy could trash-
talk; that was the truth.
Scar gave Anthony a nod. Anthony gave a half
wave and turned to check out the field.
It looked like Ace Sanchez’s sister was helping
here today. She was talking with the girl who
organized the event, the latter holding a baby on
her hip. Was that Teo Parata’s kid, the new guy? He
knew Teo’s wife had passed the previous year, but
why had he brought his kid?
It was hard not to notice Hailey Knight, James’s
daughter, prancing onto the field toward the other
women. She was cute, not that Anthony cared
about any kind of relationship at the moment. He’d
put women on the back burner for now, choosing to
concentrate on football.
Anthony turned back to Kade, who leaned back
and released a perfect spiral to Anthony without
breaking conversation with Scar.
A stampede of kids thundered onto the field,
yelling, “Zeus!”
Anthony met Kade’s eyes, and they shared a
smile before Kade disappeared in the crowd.
One kid pulled at Anthony’s shirt. “You’re
Zeus’s brother, aren’t you?”
Anthony laughed, savoring the desire to teach
these kids. This was really the best part of their
jobs, when they could give back. It was good to
remember that. “Yes, I am.”
The woman with the kid on her hip walked
toward them, holding a clipboard and looking
official. She held a whistle to her lips and blew it
loudly. “Okay, kids, when you hear the whistle, it
will be time to rotate stations.”
Anthony pulled his eyes away from the woman
and picked up another football, ready for the first
group.
“Still can’t stop yourself from the cheerleader
addiction?”
There was a brief lag as Anthony registered the
familiar voice. His heart stopped, and he turned
slowly, uncertain whether he was just hearing
things.
Cassidy Stone stood next to him with her arms
crossed, her honey-blonde hair still flowing down
her shoulders as it had done in high school. She
wasn’t giving him the hero-worship look she used
to give him from the sidelines, although she still had
those Cleopatra eyes that had always mesmerized
him.
“Cassidy?” he asked, like she was a mythical
being that had appeared out of thin air in front of
him.
Their eyes held and he thought about all that
had happened between them, all those years ago.
Truthfully, he’d thought about it so many times,
even looked her up a few years ago to discover she
was a famous writer for the magazine Elite Athletes
based out of Florida.
Her lips turned up, not exactly in a smile, but a
tight, controlled assessment of him. “I’m the
freelance reporter assigned to get some statements
from you guys and write a puff article about this
event. Lucky me.” Her piercing stare took his
breath away.
The football slipped out of his hands. His mouth
went dry. Reflexively, he looked at her ring finger,
which was bare. “I heard you were engaged,” he
blurted out before he could stop himself. He’d
remembered someone mentioning it. Kade? His
father? He tried to remember when he’d heard it.
Maybe last year after his injury.
Looking down at the fumbled ball, then back to
him, she shook her head and pursed her lips. “None
of your business, I don’t think.”
Another whistle blew, followed by someone
yelling to gather for instructions.
Cassidy glanced at the group, then back to him.
“If you just want to give me a quick quote,” she
said curtly.
Anthony watched all the kids and players start
to gather to Mr. Knight, but he was glued to this
spot. He turned to her, and the past washed over
him, thinking of the day he’d buried his mother.
The first night he’d ever kissed her.
More memories assaulted him, including the
one where he’d watched as she and her father had
left, dust kicking up from the gravel as he stood
there. “I’d rather talk, Poe,” he said softly, using his
old nickname for her.
Anger flared in Cassidy’s blue eyes. “Don’t call
me that. If you don’t want to give me a quote,
that’s fine. I’ll interview your brother first.” She
rushed away from him. “Kade!”
Kade turned, and a stupid grin swept over his
face. “Cassidy Stone?” He opened his arms.
She laughed as they met and fell into a hug.
All the old jealousy flared through him, but only
for a second. He still could not believe she had
been standing in front of him.
Happiness burst into him. Cassidy Stone was
here … and she wasn’t wearing a ring.
A L S O B Y T A Y L O R H A R T
BACHELOR BILLIONAIRE ROMANCES
Rescue Me: Park City Firefighter Romance (A Bachelor
The Last Play Series
Snow Valley Series
A Christmas in Snow Valley: The Christmas Eve Kiss
A BO UT T H E A UT H O R
Taylor Hart has always been drawn to a good love triangle,
hot chocolate and long conversations with new friends. Writing
has always been a passion that has consumed her dreams and
forced her to sit in a trance for long hours, completely
obsessed with people that don’t really exist. Taylor would
have been a country star if she could have carried a tune—
maybe in the next life. Find Taylor at:
Facebook: Taylor Hart
Document Outline
- Chapter 1
- Chapter 2
- Chapter 3
- Chapter 4
- Chapter 5
- Chapter 6
- Chapter 7
- Chapter 8
- Chapter 9
- Chapter 10
- Chapter 11
- Chapter 12
- Chapter 13
- Chapter 14
- Chapter 15
- Chapter 16
- Chapter 17
- Chapter 18
- Epilogue
Wyszukiwarka
Podobne podstrony:
St Alphonsus Liguori The Practice of the Love of Jesus Christ
20130310 Loving Others in the Love of God AIL05
Fitzgerald The Love Of The Last Tycoon
Black Eyed Peas Where Is The Love
Elizabeth Peters The Love Talker (pdf)
Elton John Can you feel the love tonight
Lion King Can you feel the love tonight
Elton John Can You Feel The Love Tonight ver 2
The Love For a Father
Can You feel the love tonight Elton John
All Aboard the Love Train by Mandagrammy
Maureen Willmann How to Keep the Love of Your Life (After Mistaking Him for a Serial Killer)
Elton John Can U Feel The Love Tonight
6 Elton John Can you feel the love tonight
For the Love of Liz
The Lion King Can You Feel The Love Tonight
Dainty Peter The Love of a King (18 str)
Yiruma When the love falls
więcej podobnych podstron