Let It Snow: A Christmas Novella

SULLIVAN

hristmas was less than a week away, and I sat
in my office chair, remembering a time I used

to  love  the  holiday  season.  In  fact,  Christmas  was
always  my  favorite.  My  grandma  would  make  me
pancakes in the morning, and I would sit and watch
as  she  worked  around  the  family  kitchen  in
preparation  for  the  holiday  feast.  It  was  always
such a big event.

The highlight of the entire day was when she

would  let  me  help  stuff  the  turkey.  Getting  my
hands  in  there  and  mushing  it  all  around  was  the
best  part—and  I  couldn’t  screw  it  up.  Granny
always waited until my mom went to the bakery to
pick up her order of fresh buns because she would
try  endlessly  to  prevent  me  from  staining  my  new
Christmas clothes. I still wasn’t sure why she didn’t
wait until the afternoon to put them on me instead.

Those memories were long past. Now, I could

take it or leave it. Although Christmas wasn’t my

favorite time of year, I understood just how much it
meant to most everybody else.

I was a different man now. I may not be crazy

about  the  holidays,  but  I  still  understood  people
needed time away from the office to spend to with
their loved ones—the reason they show up to their
nine-to-five.  I  looked  down  at  my  new  Rolex—an
early  Christmas  gift  to  myself—and  noticed  it  was
nearly  five.  Seeing  as  it  was  the  Friday  before  the
holiday,  everyone  would  be  ready  to  run  out  the
door.

I stood from my cushioned seat and looked out

over the city as I stretched my arms in front of me,
arching  my  back.  The  door  opened,  and  I  turned
slightly  to  see  Samantha  walk  in.  She  was  perhaps
the  best  secretary  I’d  ever  had  since…well,  since
ever.  She  had  stuck  with  me  since  almost  the
beginning and likely knew more about me than my
mom.

“Sir, it’s just about five. I believe you wanted to

address the staff before they went home for the
holidays.” Her voice was light and cheery as
always, but there was a hint of a question mixed in
there as well.

I turned back to my desk. “Yes, of course. You

say that like you think I might change my mind,” I
said with a smirk, but I knew why Samantha would
question me. I hated giving any type of public
speech, and I would usually do just about anything

to get out of it. Even after years of speaking at
conferences and meetings before I owned my own
firm, I still felt the ground move beneath me
whenever I got on a stage or faced an audience.

She giggled. “I’ll let them know you want to

have a word.” She turned and closed the door
behind her.

I blew out a heavy sigh and walked out of my

corner  office.  Everyone  had  started  to  gather
around; most had already packed up and had their
briefcases in hand. The excitement could be felt in
the  air.  I  had  a  great  staff,  and  they  were  all  hard
workers—they had earned this time off. I’d made it
a  rule  that  no  matter  what,  everyone  got  to  spend
two  weeks  over  Christmas  and  New  Year’s  away
from the office. We completely shut down all work
—no email, no phone calls, no nothing. Although I
wanted everyone to spend time with their family, it
was ironic that I never spent any of that time with
my  own.  Nevertheless,  I  wanted  everyone  else  to
enjoy  their  holidays  and  come  back  at  the  start  of
the new year completely refreshed.

“Gather round, everyone. I’d like to have a

word, and I promise I won’t take too much time. I
know  how  important  it  is  to  start  your  holiday  at
the  stroke  of  five.”  There  was  a  hint  of  humor  in
my tone, and most of the employees grinned, and a
slight  chuckle  drifted  through  the  crowd  as  I
garnered their attention.

“It has been a marvelous year, and I am so

proud  of  every  single  one  of  you.  Even  with  the
financial crisis and bleak forecasts, our clients were
still  able  to  get  substantial  returns  on  their
investments. Some of them even made up to thirty-
five  percent  profit,  and  that  says  a  lot.  I  want  to
thank  each  of  you  for  your  hard  work  and
dedication.”

I looked around to make sure Samantha had

passed around the champagne, then picked up the
glass she’d set down beside me.

“I would like to make a toast.” I raised my

glass,  and  they  followed  suit.  “To  every  employee
who  works  at  Moore’s.  I  want  to  thank  my
secretary for taking all my bullshit and making sure
I  make  the  right  decisions.  I  want  to  thank  all  of
you for always bringing your A-game. Now, before
I make  this too  long,  I would  like  to finish  this  off
with a toast to all of your families—the real reason
why we all do this. Thank you.”

There was applause, and someone in the group

yelled, “We love you, too, boss.”

I was never one to take a compliment very well,

but I blushed and thanked Sean for his praise.

Two hours later, I locked the doors behind

Samantha—the last employee to leave. She was the
only  one  who  would  stay  with  me  that  long  on  a
Friday  night,  let  alone  before  a  holiday,  but  I
always  compensated  her  with  a  hefty  Christmas

bonus.

“So, let me guess. You are going to spend most

of the holidays in your office?” Samantha asked me
with a glimmer of hope in her eyes.

For years, I’d assumed she was dropping hints

so  I  would  ask  her  out,  but  I  wasn’t  quite  sure,  to
be  honest.  It  wasn’t  that  she  wasn’t  attractive  or
that  I  wouldn’t  be  interested  under  normal
circumstances.  I  just  wasn’t  one  to  ruin  a
professional  relationship  with  a  good  friend  for
something that most likely wouldn’t last. To me, the
loss would be way too great.

“You know me too well, Samantha. Don’t

worry, I’ll try not to stay up too late,” I joked. “Get
home safe.”

“I would say, you, too, but you’re home

already.” She laughed.

I watched as she walked to her Mercedes Benz

AMG. Nice car, but it wasn’t really my style. My
phone buzzed in my pocket, and I cringed, knowing
who it was. But still, I hoped it wouldn’t be her.

I looked down as I pulled it out my cell. Damn.

It never failed.

I swiped right and lifted the phone to my ear.

“Good  evening,  Mother.  How  are  you?”  I  knew
what  she  was  going  to  say,  and  I  already  had  my
answer  locked  and  loaded.  I  still  wasn’t  sure  why
we did this song and dance every year.

There was a brief pause before she replied, “So,

it’s  time  for  the  Christmas  holidays;  should  we  be
expecting  you?”  She  was  a  little  more  assertive
than  in  recent  years.  She  was  hopeful  even  in  the
face  of  all  the  negative  replies  I  had  given  to  one
form or another of the very same annual question.

“Mom, we’ve been through this already. I’ll

come home when I’m ready, for now, I—”

“Before you go any further, there’s something I

need to tell you.” Her voice was stern, leaving no
room for arguments.

My heart skipped a few beats. I only

remembered  having  heard  my  mother  say  that  one
other  time,  and  the  next  thing  she’d  told  me  was
that  my  father  had  died  in  a  car  accident.  My
thoughts ran all over the place. “What is it, Mom?
Are you okay?” Panic laced my tone.

“It’s your grandmother. She’s been sick for

some time, and the doctor said she might not make
it through Christmas.” Her voice caught on the last
word, and my heart broke for her, for me, and most
of all, my poor grandmother.

I didn’t have a choice; I needed to go home—to

say goodbye.

My mother continued, “I know how close you

two were. I think she’d like to see you again before
it is all over. And not for nothing, but I would love
for you to be here for Christmas, too. I’m still your
mother, after all. “

I took a deep breath, wishing there was a way

to  get  out  of  a  trip  home  and  a  horrible  goodbye,
but  as  an  adult,  I  couldn’t  stick  my  head  in  the
sand.  “Okay,  Mom.  I’ll  be  home  as  soon  as  I  can
get a flight.” There was some silence. “And for the
record, I’m not just coming because of Grandma. I
want to come home to see my mom, too.”

There was a sniffle followed by silence before

she finally choked out, “That makes me happy to
hear, son.”

After disconnecting, I looked down at my

watch—man, I loved that thing—it was already
seven-thirty. I swiped the screen on my iPhone and
dialed my driver as I went up the elevator to my
suite to gather my things.

“Hey, Tim. I’m sorry to intrude on your time

off, but I need you to take me to the airport; it’s a
family  emergency.”  I’m  sure  he  heard  the  panic  in
my  tone  because  thirty  minutes  later,  and  I  was
comfortably  seated  in  the  back  of  my  Maybach  as
we  drove  down  the  streets  of  the  city.  The  air
conditioning  was  on,  but  somehow,  I  felt  stifled  in
my suit. I tugged on my black tie and removed my
jacket. The pressure was like nothing I’d ever felt.

I’d always looked up to my grandmother. She

was  the  daughter  of  an  immigrant,  and  despite  all
the odds stacked against her, she was determined to
make something of herself. She had worked her ass
off,  and  it  wasn’t  long  before  she  started  her  own
business.  By  the  age  of  forty-five,  she  was  one  of

the wealthiest women in South Carolina. I was
pretty sure that I’d gotten my drive and work ethic
from her.

I laid back my head on the headrest and closed

my  eyes.  Thoughts  of  home  swirled  around  in  my
mind. If I thought about it hard enough, I could still
smell  the  roses  and  dew  that  lingered  on  summer
mornings. I had missed that. I’d been so focused on
my  career  and  making  it  on  my  own  that  I  hadn’t
thought much of going back in the last eight years.
Two years ago, after I finally felt like I’d made it, it
seemed like it was time for me to go home.

But by then, I was so estranged that the only

place  I  felt  at  home  was  in  my  office,  back  in  the
city.  I  didn’t  have  to  pretend  to  be  anyone  other
than  the  boss  in  my  firm,  and  I  was  comfortable
playing  that  role,  even  if  it  got  lonely  sometimes.
And  although  I’d  had  girlfriends  in  the  past,  it
didn’t  look  like  a  serious  relationship  was  in  the
cards.  Each  and  every  one  of  them  complained  of
the  same  thing—I  never  gave  them  enough  of  my
time.  I  lavished  them  with  gifts,  but  I  was  never
really  interested  in  them  or  making  memories
together. I was in love with my job and everything
else  fell  to  the  wayside.  After  hearing  the  same
thing  over  and  over,  it  got  to  the  point  that  I’d
decided  I  was  better  off  alone.  Maybe  something
was wrong with me; maybe I wasn’t meant to fall in
love. I was good at what I did, and that was where I

gained satisfaction.

I looked outside at the blur of cars as we sped

to the airport, and I thought about how much things
had  changed  since  I’d  left  home.  I  was  a  different
man  now;  I  was  no  longer  the  fun  guy  I’d  been  in
my  youth.  I  was  no  longer  that  dumb  kid  who
thought  hanging  out  with  his  friends  was  the  most
important thing in the world. Now, that was the last
thing  I  wanted—time  was  money,  and  I  didn’t
waste it socializing. I was a businessman and mostly
wanted  to  be  alone.  However,  my  grandmother
needed  me,  and  I  refused  to  deny  us  a  proper
goodbye.

We pulled up to the airport, and I jumped out

quickly. Thankfully, Tim would check my luggage
at the curb.

“Thanks, Tim. I apologize to pull you away

tonight. Enjoy the holidays with your family. I’ll try
to do the same with my own.” I reached out and
shook his hand, including a hefty gratuity in my
palm.

“Thank you, sir.” Tim tipped his hat.
I didn’t bother waiting for him to get things

sorted. I needed to run to the terminal, or I was
going to miss my flight. My flight was boarding any
minute—which

was

confirmed

the

announcement over the intercom when I got into
the TSA line—and I hadn’t made it through
security.

We finally touched down around nine-thirty. I

couldn’t  wait  to  get  off  of  this  plane—the  seats
were  cramped;  I  couldn’t  even  recline  it.  But  I
didn’t  have  much  choice  with  a  last-minute  flight.
The  passengers  all  scrambled  off  the  plane  like  a
herd  of  cattle,  and  I  let  out  a  huge  sigh  of  relief
when I was free of the crowd.

My parents’ place was a little over an hour from

the airport, so I had rented a car. When I pulled out
of the underground parking garage and found snow
on  the  ground,  I  was  beyond  surprised.  Living  in
small-town  South  Carolina  we  didn’t  get  much
snow.  I  could  count  on  one  hand  how  many  white
Christmas’s  we’d  had  over  the  decades  I’d  lived
here.  And  although  the  Audi  A8  I’d  rented  was
optimal  for  comfort  and  style,  it  had  not  been  an
excellent  choice  for  inclement  weather,  nor  would
it be for the road leading up the hill.

I’d somehow managed to miss the driveaway

four  times.  The  roads  seemed  different,  but  it  was
probably  more  my  own  distracted  thoughts.  The
town had changed a little, but it still wasn’t a city. It
probably  never  would  be,  but  there  seemed  to  be
more  modern  homes  off  the  road  than  there  were
when I was last here. The fact that it was snowing
didn’t  make  it  any  easier  to  find  the  house  I’d
grown up in—the white had covered each driveway
in a pristine blanket, blocking them from easy view.
When  I  slowed  down  enough  to  read  the  street

numbers, I finally saw the sign. The Moore Family.

“Ah! Finally,” I mumbled to myself as I turned

the steering wheel into the drive a little too fast and
nearly fishtailed into a ditch.

The snow didn’t make one part of my already-

stressful and nerve-wracking experience any better.
I  pulled  onto  the  pad  to  the  side  of  the  house  and
threw the car in park, taking a deep breath to calm
my  anxiety.  When  I  finally  looked  up,  I  saw  the
only structure that seemed like it hadn’t changed at
all.  The  paint  appeared  to  have  been  touched  up,
there  were  some  new  light  fixtures,  and  a  new  car
in the driveway, but the rest of the house seemed to
be just how I’d left it.

After I killed the ignition, I gripped the steering

wheel  so  tightly  that  my  knuckles  began  to  turn
white. “You can do this,” I muttered to myself as I
looked  at  my  reflection  in  the  rearview  mirror.
“Don’t  worry;  it’ll  be  just  like  old  times.”  I  was
lying  to  myself.  Too  much  had  changed,  and  even
more  was  going  to  if  what  my  mom  had  said  were
true.

I took a deep breath and hopped out of the

vehicle—big  mistake.  My  shoes  immediately  sent
mud flying in all directions. The snow had started to
come down harder, so I grabbed my luggage out of
the  trunk  and  took  off  toward  the  front  porch  for
shelter.  I  was  already  beginning  to  regret  coming
home.

As I stood on the porch, I looked back at the

rental  now  covered  in  slush  and  mud  and  then
down  to  my  Salvatore  Ferragamos,  which  had
matching  filth  all  over  them.  “Oh,  fuck  me,”  I
mumbled  softly  as  if  I  feared  my  mother  would
hear me. Trying to make myself presentable seemed
like  an  effort  in  futility.  By  this  point,  most  of  the
product  in  my  hair  had  dissipated  with  the  wet
snow.  Nevertheless,  I  tried  to  dust  the  flakes  from
the top of my head to tame my mane.

I finally mustered enough courage to reach up

and  knock.  It  was  freezing  outside,  and  at  that
moment,  I  found  it  odd  that  in  modern  times,  my
mom  still  decided  to  keep  the  manual  mechanism
instead  of  a  doorbell.  I  was  about  to  lift  the  brass
knocker again when the door swung open.

The housekeeper stood there in what looked

like complete shock.

“Hello, Bridget.” A coy smile played on my lips

as  I  called  her  by  her  name,  dropping  the  Miss  I
used  to  use.  It  was  the  kind  of  smile  that  a  guilty
child  would  have  if  his  hand  were  caught  in  the
cookie  jar.  I  wasn’t  sure  what  to  do  since  it  had
been  so  long.  Should  I  go  in  for  a  hug  or  just  a
handshake?  Maybe  a  nod  of  the  head  was  more
appropriate.  I  stood  there,  contemplating  my  next
move,  but  thank  God,  she  took  the  guesswork  out
of it.

“Master Sullivan, it has been far too long.

Come here.” She opened her arms and gestured me
to come into her embrace.

I didn’t hesitate as I dropped my luggage

without  thought  and  hugged  her.  The  emotion  that
rolled through me was overwhelming, but I kept the
tears  at  bay.  I’d  missed  this  woman  immensely,
although it was seeing her that reminded me of just
how  much.  The  smell  of  her  clothes  brought  back
so  much  of  my  childhood.  The  hug  lingered  for  a
few seconds before she finally pulled away, holding
me at arm’s length for a moment. She picked up my
luggage.  I  took  the  luggage  back  immediately  and
smiled at her. I wasn’t comfortable with staff doing
those  types  of  things—especially  not  an  older
woman—that  I  was  perfectly  capable  of  doing
myself.  I  didn’t  have  staff  at  home  for  that  very
reason.

“Come, Master Sullivan. Your mother will be so

happy to see you.” She clapped excitedly.

My heart began to feel like it was going to

burst. While I was happy to see my mother, I was
beyond nervous—a foreign feeling in my adult life.
I didn’t know how she was going to take my arrival
or, moreover, my extended absence.

Bridget closed the door behind us and walked

me  to  where  my  mother  was  seated  in  the  main
living  room.  She’d  always  loved  sitting  here,
overlooking  the  back  garden.  This  was  where  she
used  to  stay  when  she  wanted  to  be  alone.  Plus,

there  was  a  small  bar  in  the  corner  that  stored  her
favorite  liquors.  Bridget  pulled  my  bags  from  my
hand  before  I  could  say  another  word  and  nodded
in the direction of the stairs.

“I’ll prepare your old bed for you,” she said on

a whisper and smiled before ducking out, so I
couldn’t argue.

I peeked around the corner and spotted my

mother,  who  sat  on  the  couch  exactly  as  I
remembered.  This  time  she  was  reading  a  fashion
magazine  and  sipping  what  appeared  to  be  orange
juice,  although  she  used  to  love  her  liquor,  it  was
never  ruined—as  she  would  say—by  adding
mixers.

I took a deep breath and stepped inside. “You

really used to like that spot, but I don’t remember
the drink being quite so orange.” My tone was
playful as I attempted to lead with a joke.

Her head whipped up as I strolled toward her.

She held her hand over her mouth and tried to fight
back  the  tears.  I  had  never  seen  my  mother  that
vulnerable in my entire life. It was at that moment
that I began to understand how much I had hurt her
by staying away. As she dropped the magazine and
stood,  I  saw  the  tears  roll  down  her  once-flawless
face  that  had  started  to  age  with  time.  Exhaustion
was written all over her expression, and I suddenly
felt  like  a  bratty  child  who’d  only  cared  about  my
own needs. How could I have been so selfish?

With her tear-filled eyes, she opened her arms,

and I took the last few steps to join her. I hadn’t
realized how much I’d missed her until that instant.

She sobbed into my chest as I let a few tears

trickle down my cheeks. She wasn’t ready to let go
any time soon, but neither was I.

“It’s been too long, son,” she whispered amidst

her tears and sobbing as she pulled back to stare up
at me. “Why would you do that to your mother?”
She teasingly slapped my arm, but she wasn’t
playing around.

I wasn’t an emotional guy by any stretch of the

imagination,  but  hearing  those  words  broke  me.  A
sob  set  itself  free,  and  my  tears  fell  rapidly.  I  had
nothing to say to her because I couldn’t think of a
reason  myself.  All  I  could  do  was  apologize.  “I’m
so sorry, Mom. I am so sorry. I love you.”

She reached up and held my face in her hands.

“I love you, too, son. Always. Don’t ever stay
away from home this long, ever again, please,” she
begged.

“I won’t, Mom. You have my word.” I kissed

her forehead.

She finally stepped back, and we sat down on

the  sofa.  My  mom  put  her  hand  over  mine  and
pulled it into her lap, the way she used to do when I
was  a  kid.  I  glanced  over  at  her.  I  could  see  the
worry  and  stress  written  in  the  lines  of  her  aging
skin. Although the anxiousness of seeing her for the

first time in so long had faded, the guilt grew by the
minute.

“Mom, I’m so sorry I left for so long.” I needed

to  try  to  give  her  some  sort  of  explanation,  and  as
much  as  I  didn’t  want  it  to  be  the  truth,  I  had
nothing else to offer her. “I just didn’t feel at home
here after Dad died.” My head dropped as I spoke
the  realities  of  how  I’d  felt,  knowing  none  of  it
would  ease  her  pain.  “I  threw  myself  so  deep  into
work that I didn’t come up for air. I shouldn’t have
run away like that, but I needed time. And the next
thing I knew, years were gone.”

She squeezed my hand. “I know, honey. I just

wish it hadn’t taken you so long.” She smiled as she
looked  out  the  back  window.  “I’m  sorry  you  ever
felt  uncomfortable  here.  You  could  have  talked  to
me.  I  would’ve  found  a  way  to  help  you  get
through  the  grief.  We  could’ve  gotten  through  it
together.” She reached up and stroked my cheek.

“I know, but don’t worry, I’m here now—for

you and grandma. How is she, by the way?” I
couldn’t wait to see her, but on the other hand, I
wasn’t looking forward to saying goodbye.

“She’s asleep right now; you’ll have to wait

until  tomorrow  to  see  her.”  Mom  started  to  choke
on emotion again as she swiped beneath her eyes to
rid her face of more tears. “She’s been pretty ill for
some  time,  but  last  week  she  took  a  turn  for  the
worst,  and  the  doctor  said  she’s  in  her  final  days.

She might not make it through the holidays, and
that’s when I knew you needed to come home. I
should’ve told you sooner.”

“I’m glad you called, Mom. It really is nice to

be home.” I pulled her into my side and held her
close. It truly felt good to be here.

I stood and walked around the room, taking in

all the details. “It’s been a while since I felt this
kind of calm in my life.” I breathed a sigh of relief
as I looked out over the back garden.

There was one small light on in the guest house

but no other signs that anyone was there. Granny
had moved in there; I remembered my mom had
mentioned it years before.

“It’s a wonder why you ever ran away in the

first place then,” she retorted with a snort.

I turned to see a smile on her lips; she looked so

much younger than when I’d first walked into the
room, like my coming home was a weight lifted off
her shoulders—I knew it was from mine.

“As much as I’d love to sit and chat all night,

I’m an old lady and I should get to bed. But we can
chat over breakfast?”

I helped her off the sofa and pulled her in for

another hug. “It really is great to be home, Mom.” I
kissed her forehead, and we both headed up to our
respective rooms.

I was completely wiped from the travel and the

stress of everything. I couldn’t wait to get to sleep.

MELISSA

aking before my alarm had become the
norm years ago. I jumped out of bed

without needing to wake up and smiled as I looked
out the window. I’d always been a morning person,
and with the holidays just around the corner, I had
a little extra pep. I loved Christmas, but the season
also  brought  with  it  some  memories  that  were  still
as  fresh  as  they  were  two  years  ago  when  I’d  lost
my family. I tried to think of all the good memories
and not dwell on what was gone. I’d also gained the
Moore’s,  which  I  couldn’t  have  dreamed  would
turn out so great. I shook off the dread and smiled
at the photos of my parents on my bedside table.

Although it had snowed the night before, I was

still determined to head out for a run. I grabbed my
older tennis shoes since I didn’t want to dirty the
new ones and tip-toed out the front door, hoping
not to wake Granny.

I leaned down and stretched out my morning

knots and breathed in the beautiful smell of winter
in the air.

I took off down the driveway and let my mind

clear  as  I  tore  up  the  road.  Jogging  was  always  so
freeing;  the  adrenaline  was  like  nothing  I’d  ever
felt.  It  was  my  day  starter.  Some  people  had
caffeine;  I  had  running.  Although,  I  also  drank
coffee; I wasn’t crazy.

By the time I got back, my entire back was

covered in mud, and I was drenched with slush, but
it was worth it. I stepped inside, and the heat
greeted me instantly. We had to keep it warmer in
the guest house since Granny was so frail now and
always cold.

I took off my shoes and carried them with me

into the bathroom to rinse away the mud and then
jumped into the shower. I let the heat envelope my
body, the steam filling the bathroom. I always loved
my showers hotter than most—nearly scalding. It
had creeped my mom out when I was younger.

Turning off the water, I blindly reached for the

hook, but my towel wasn’t there. I yanked open the
shower curtain and looked around frantically. There
wasn’t  a  towel  in  sight  other  than  a  small  one  on
the  rack  used  for  decoration.  It  would  be  just
enough  to  cover  my  front.  I  grabbed  it  off  the  bar
and  dried  myself  off  as  quickly  as  I  could  before
holding  it  across  my  chest.  It  barely  touched  my
sides, but at least my lady bits were covered.

I opened the door and tiptoed down the hall. I

slowed  in  front  of  Granny’s  room  and  froze  the
moment  I  locked  my  gaze  with  a  set  of  piercing-
green  eyes.  We  stared  at  each  other  for  a  moment
before  his  eyes  drifted  in  a  slow  dance  down  my
body, and his lips turned up into the most adorable
smirk.  His  eyes  met  mine  once  again,  and  he
cleared his throat.

I finally snapped out of my trance and ran down

the hall to my bedroom, completely forgetting that
the towel left nothing to the imagination. His deep
chuckle sent goose bumps down my flesh as I
closed the door behind me.

“Sullivan,” I breathed out his name as I flopped

down onto my bed.

My face was on fire; I could feel the blush all

over  my  body.  I  hadn’t  seen  him  in  so  long,  but  I
would  recognize  those  eyes  anywhere.  It’d  been
nearly  a  decade  since  our  last  visit.  The  twelve-
year-old  girl  inside  of  me  was  giddy  with
excitement,  but  my  twenty-year-old  self  was
nervous as hell.

I’d had the biggest crush on him back in the

day. Our parents were best friends, so poor Sullivan
had  to  take  care  of  me  all  the  time.  I  was  sure  he
knew  I’d  had  feelings  for  him,  but  to  him—at
eighteen—all I was, was an annoying little kid. The
alarm on my phone chirped, alerting me that it was
time  for  Granny’s  meds.  I  wasn’t  the  slightest  bit

ready to walk out there, but I had a job to do.

Granny was Sullivan’s grandmother; she’d been

sick for quite some time now. I’d been helping take
care  of  her  before  I’d  completed  my  nursing
degree.  When  I’d  lost  my  parents,  I’d  moved  in
permanently  and  have  been  caring  for  her  ever
since. The Moore’s were like family to me, and the
least  I  could  do  was  help  out  after  how  amazing
they’d been to me over the years.

I glanced at the pictures on the wall in front of

me. I had strategically placed them there to ensure I
could see them from anywhere in the room. One
was of my parents when they were younger, and
the second one was a photo of my parents and me
on my tenth birthday.

Even though I tried not to think about them, the

holidays  made  me  it  more  difficult.  They  had  died
in  a  plane  crash  on  their  way  back  home  two
Christmases ago. I was eighteen at the time, and in
an  instant,  I  was  all  alone.  I  had  no  siblings,  and
both  sets  of  my  grandparents  had  already  passed.
That  was  when  the  Moores  took  me  in,  and  they
have  treated  me  like  one  of  their  own  ever  since.
Susan  had  been  like  a  mom,  and  we’d  comforted
each  other  through  more  loss  than  either  of  us
should have experienced in such a short time.

I knew that one day I would need to leave the

Moore mansion if I ever wanted to move on, but I
couldn’t bring myself to do that just yet. It would

cause too much grief, and Granny still needed me.
At least those were the excuses I told myself to
make me stay just one more year…every year.

A gentle knock on the door pulled me from my

thoughts, and I cleared the tears from my cheeks to
pull on a robe, knowing who was on the other side.
Every  morning,  Susan  came  to  the  guest  house  to
tell  me  what  was  on  the  day’s  agenda—it  wasn’t
like I didn’t know since I was the one who set it. I
thought  it  gave  her  a  sense  of  ownership,  control
over the hand fate had dealt her. We all dealt with
things in our own way, and this was Susan’s.

“Come in.” Thankfully, I was able to disguise

the sadness I felt, and my voice didn’t give me
away.

The door eased open, and then I was front and

center with my surrogate mom. While I’d expected
the  seriousness,  she  greeted  every  morning  with,  I
was  met  with  her  radiant  grin.  It  was  a  smile  I
hadn’t  seen  in  a  long  time,  at  least  not  since
Sullivan  had  left  for  the  city  and  her  husband  had
died.

She took a seat on the corner of my bed and

folded her hands on her lap, staring up at me with
that same grin plastered to her face. “How are you
doing this morning?” Even her dimples sunk in her
cheeks effortlessly and gave her a more youthful
look.

“I’m good, Susan.” I prayed to God Sullivan

hadn’t told her he’d watched me streak back to my
room  with  nothing  but  a  hand  towel  covering  my
private parts. I figured the best way to get past that
possibility  was  to  avoid  it  altogether.  “What’s  got
you  so  excited  this  morning?  It’s  pretty  early  for
you to be up and about.”

Susan patted the mattress for me to take a seat

next to her. I wasn’t sure being within striking
distance was such a great idea since her son had
just seen more of my naked body than all the men
I’d dated in the last two years.

“So, I called Sullivan yesterday.” That

statement alone was normally followed by tears or
at  the  very  least,  a  sour  disposition.  “And  after  I
told  him  about  Mother,  he  said  he  would  come
home.  In  fact,  he  got  on  a  flight  last  night.”  She
clapped  her  hands  and  held  them  in  front  of  her
mouth, still smiling like the Cheshire cat. “He got in
late last night.”

I sighed internally; clearly she didn’t know I’d

seen  him  in  Granny’s  room.  Somehow,  I  managed
to feign excitement and ignorance for Susan’s sake.
Maybe the excitement wasn’t all that put on, but I
hid the embarrassment I’d felt only minutes ago. It
was  silly  to  be  excited  about  seeing  someone  who
likely  wasn’t  the  same  person  they  had  been  eight
years ago. But secretly, the mere thought of seeing
Sullivan  again—with  my  clothes  on—made  my
heart race.

“That’s great! How long is he staying?” I hoped

she  didn’t  read  more  into  that  than  I’d  intended.  I
sucked at this. I was happy he was home for Susan
and  Granny’s  sake,  but  I  wasn’t  sure  how  I’d
handle  the  schoolgirl  crush  I’d  had  so  many  years
ago…and  clearly,  I  wasn’t  completely  over  him.
Maybe  I  could  use  this  opportunity  to  finally  get
some sort of closure.

Her expression changed a little, and I could see

the worry in her face. “Well, I don’t know. I didn’t
talk  to  him  about  all  that  last  night.”  She  took  a
deep  breath  and  put  on  her  practiced  smile;  it
wasn’t  the  same  as  the  one  she’d  worn  a  few
minutes  ago  when  she  came  in.  “But  at  least  he’ll
be  around,  and  I’ll  get  to  see  my  son  for  the
holidays.”

“I’m sure he’s excited, too.”
She turned away with a glint of tears in her

eyes. “I wish he was coming home under different
circumstances and not just because his grandmother
is dying.” What she really meant was she wished
Sullivan had come home to see her just because
he’d missed her.

It was hard for her to think that her son didn’t

love her enough to want to visit. But I knew there
was more to the reason Sullivan hadn’t come back,
and I was positive it had nothing to do with not
loving his mother. “I’m sure he thinks about you
every day.”

Susan got up with a smile and turned on her

heel to leave. Stopping at the open door, she turned
back to me. “You’re the best daughter any mother
could  hope  to  have.  Your  parents  would  be  so
proud  of  the  woman  you’re  becoming.”  She  blew
me  a  kiss.  “Don’t  forget  to  check  up  on  Granny
when you’re dressed.” And then she left.

I fell back onto my bed. A huge grin took over

my  face  as  my  thoughts  quickly  shifted  back  to
Sullivan.  I  should’ve  been  mortified  by  the
encounter  I’d  just  had  with  him,  not  be  excited  to
see  him.  Even  though  Sullivan  was  six  years  older
than me, that had never stopped me from having a
massive crush on him. And now that we were both
adults, I had a feeling my deluded mind would take
that as a sign that he was now attainable.

Sullivan used to get stuck babysitting me

whenever  our  parents  went  out,  which  as  often.
When  it  had  finally  occurred  to  him  that  I  had  a
crush on him, he thought it was cute—for a while.
But as time went on, he found it annoying, not that
he had ever said so out loud. He just always made
excuses  to  get  out  of  spending  time  with  me.
Eventually,  I  wasn’t  so  little  anymore  and  didn’t
need constant supervision. Both of us avoided each
other successfully. But regardless of how it had all
turned  out,  Sullivan  Moore  was  the  first  boy  I’d
ever  loved.  And  not  many  had  crossed  my  radar
since.

I was still lost in my thoughts when I realized I

had yet to get dressed, my hair was still wet, and
Granny needed her morning medication.

I pushed myself off the mattress to quickly get

dressed  and  do  something  with  my  hair.  “Oh  shit,
shit,  shit.”  I  glanced  at  the  time  and  realized  just
how  late  I  really  was  as  I  ran  a  brush  through  my
locks  and  left  them  down  to  air  dry.  Then  I  threw
on the first pair of jeans I came to and a Christmas
sweater I normally wouldn’t be caught dead in and
raced to Granny’s room down the hall.

I knocked softly on the door before pushing it

completely open without receiving an answer. Then
I peeked around it, hoping I’d find Granny awake
since she mostly slept these days. I was in luck; her
eyes were wide.

“Hey, Granny. I’m so sorry I’m late. I got

distracted.” I was both relieved and a little dejected
to see that she was alone, although that saved me
the embarrassment of facing Sullivan so soon after
my streaking episode.

Granny managed a weak smile, and I heard her

lungs strain as she tried to breathe with the help of
her oxygen mask. She pulled down the clear plastic
covering her mouth and beckoned me to her side.

In nothing more than a couple quick steps, I

was at her side with my face near hers to be able to
hear her whispered words.

“I would be glad if you were late because there

was a young gentleman somewhere that took your
time.”

I flushed with embarrassment and wondered if

Sullivan  had  told  her  about  the  towel  incident.  I’d
be  mortified.  “No,  Granny.”  I  smiled  wide  and
looked  directly  into  her  brilliant-green  eyes—the
same eyes Sullivan shared with many of the Moore
family  members.  “Sorry  to  disappoint  you,  but
there is no man anywhere to be found.”

I helped her ease back onto her pillows as she

muttered  to  herself,  thinking  I  couldn’t  hear.
“Children  of  this  generation  and  their  uptightness.
When  I  was  their  age,  I  had  three  young  men
fighting  for  my  affection.  In  the  end,  I  ended  up
dating  all  of  them.”  She  giggled  to  herself  as  she
seemed  to  reminisce,  completely  oblivious  to  my
hearing her thoughts.

“Oh my God, Granny.” I chuckled at her while

her  eyes  danced  with  amusement.  I’d  miss  this
when  she  was  gone.  I  pushed  the  thought  away,
trying not to dwell on what I knew was coming as I
changed her IV and injected her meds into the line.
It took me a minute to clean off her table and clear
away  the  breakfast  dishes  that  I  was  sure  Bridget
had brought in earlier.

Granny’s hand landed on my forearm, and I

stared at her wrinkled fingers, the blue veins
showing through her thin skin. “I don’t want you to
go through life and regret never actually living,

Missy.”  She  squeezed  her  fingers  until  I  met  her
stare.  “You’re  a  good  girl,  and  any  man  would  be
lucky to call you the love of his life, but you need
to  put  yourself  out  there.”  She  burst  into  a  fit  of
short coughs as she talked.

“Careful, Granny.” I helped her sit up to clear

her lungs. “If I leave, there won’t be anyone here
to take care of you.”

She hissed with tears in her eyes. “Young lady,

I’ve  lived  my  life,  and  there  are  very  few  things  I
regret.  Now,  I’m  just  tired  and  want  to  go  home.
Your  life  is  just  beginning;  go  out  there  and  find
yourself.”

She was right.
If I ever had any hope of finding myself, I

would need to leave my comfort zone, which was
the Moore house and this town in general. I placed
my hand over hers and whispered in her ear, “I
promise to find myself, Granny. I promise.”

wouldn’t usually run twice in a day, but
Granny’s words this morning got me thinking so

much that I had to get out of my room and clear my
thoughts. As the sun had started to set, the
temperatures had fallen rapidly, and the skies
started to cloud over. While it was good weather to

exercise, it also meant that a storm was brewing.
Cold nights were not exactly kind to Granny.

I still decided to run anyway, and thirty minutes

later  the  heavy  flurries  started  to  fall.  I  quickly
turned  around  and  jogged  back  in  the  snow.
Running  toward  the  house,  I  saw  Sullivan  getting
out  of  the  fancy  car  that  had  been  parked  in  the
driveaway.  I  swiftly  took  a  detour  through  the
bushes, around the side of the yard, and back to the
guest house. I couldn’t let him see me looking like
this. I had snow all over me, my hair was wet from
the  storm,  and  I  had  mud  stuck  on  my  shoes  and
probably all down my back.

I hoped to look halfway decent the next time he

saw  me.  I  stepped  into  the  shower—after  making
sure  there  was  a  towel  on  the  hook—and  quickly
cleaned  up  before  drying  off.  I  opened  the  door
slowly  and  peeked  outside,  making  sure  the  coast
was clear.

I let out a huge sigh of relief. “Thank God.” I

stepped out into the hallway and stopped dead in
my tracks when I heard the door behind me.

“We really need to stop meeting like this.”

Sullivan’s deep voice ran through me as he
chuckled.

I spun around, clutching my chest. “Where did

you come from?” I stared at him, waiting for a
response but also taking the opportunity to check
him out.

He still had the same face I recalled, but he was

nothing like I remembered. He was definitely a lot
more muscular now. Like, way more muscular. He
was also clean-shaven and well dressed.

A part of me was surprised to see him there,

and another part of me just wanted to jump into his
arms, wrap my legs around his waist, and kiss the
ever-loving shit out of him.

He seemed to shake himself out of it. “I didn’t

mean to startle you.” He stretched out his hand to
shake mine, but I didn’t reciprocate, instead I
gripped my towel tighter.

“Would you mind if I put on some clothes

before we said hello?” As much as I fantasized
about being naked with Sullivan, I felt like he was
way overdressed.

“Of course, yes. I’ll wait in the living room.”

He smiled and looked me up and down before
turning on his heel.

As I closed my bedroom door behind me, I put

my back against it and giggled to myself. I quickly
got dressed and slipped back out.

Sullivan was sitting on the edge of the sofa, his

knee bouncing rapidly. I was about to speak, but he
beat me to it.

“Miss, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to catch you

in your towel twice. I promise I don’t make a point
of it.”

I chuckled softly. I think that probably eased

Sullivan’s mind since it was safe to assume that I
didn’t think he wasn’t a pervert.

He continued, “I asked my mother about you

earlier.  She  said  you’ve  been  looking  after  my
grandma.  I  am  so  thankful  that  she  has  someone
caring  for  her  like  this.”  He  reached  his  hand  out.
“My name is Sullivan. What’s yours?”

There wasn’t a hint of humor in his tone. It was

then that I realized that he was completely
oblivious and hadn’t the slightest clue who I was. I
decided to keep it professional; after all, it was like
a dream come true, right? We wouldn’t have to talk
about all those years when I’d had a crush on him.
I’d dodged a bullet on that one.

I stretched out my hand to shake his and

introduced myself. “It’s very nice to meet you,
Sullivan. My name is Melissa. I promise not to
streak through the guest house anymore.

His shoulders bounced as he chuckled. “Wow,

beautiful, smart, and funny. I think we are going to
be very good friends, Melissa.”

SULLIVAN

itting by the fireplace, I sipped my coffee,
basking in the serene feeling that I’d taken on

since coming home. I’d expected to feel trapped
and want to catch the first flight out, but it had
been the complete opposite. I hadn’t felt like this in
so long, probably since before my dad passed, back
when life was simple.

I’d slept like a log last night, which I hadn’t

done in years. There was just something about the
room and the whole house that kept me at ease. My
dreams were full of a blue-eyed beauty that seemed
to be plaguing my thoughts.

I glanced at the clock on the mantel. It was only

seven. I could check my emails, but I had no desire,
really no reason to. We were closed for the
holidays, and it was going to stay that way.

I heard whispers from the other room, so I went

to see who was there. My heart skipped for a
moment when I saw her. Melissa and I had already

had  two  awkward  encounters;  I  wasn’t  ready  to
allow  another  one  to  happen.  I  straightened  my
spine  immediately  and  took  a  deep  breath  before
walking  into  the  kitchen  with  all  the  composure  I
could muster. “Good evening, ladies.”

Both Melissa and my mom looked up at me, but

neither smiled. As I moved closer, Melissa’s eyes
met mine, I grinned. She tried to reciprocate, but it
was forced.

“Melissa?” I turned. “Mom? Is everything

okay?”

A tear slipped down Melissa’s cheek. I stepped

forward, every instinct I had told me to wrap her in
my arms, but I knew that was inappropriate, seeing
as how we’d just met. I looked toward my mother
and back at Melissa. “What’s going on? Are you all
right?”

“I’m sorry, but I don’t think it is in my place to

tell you. You should talk to your mother.” She
squeezed my mother’s hand and took off out the
back door without another word.

I looked at my mother, who appeared defeated.

“What’s going on?”

“It’s Granny. She’s not doing well. Missy says

she’s been in and out of consciousness for the last
couple hours. We need to be with her, spend some
time before bed. She will need rest but will also
enjoy our company.”

I nodded without moving. Memories of Granny

and my childhood flooded my vision. We used to be
so  close,  but  even  that  hadn’t  been  enough  reason
for  me  to  come  home.  The  emotions  rushing
through  me  had  me  pulled  in  every  direction.  The
ground  seemed  to  move  beneath  my  feet.  I  could
feel sweat breaking out on my temples.

My mom must’ve been able to tell I was having

a hard time with the news. She interrupted my train
of thought with the sound of her soothing voice.
“Sullivan, you should go see her.” She rubbed my
shoulder comforting me.

I snapped out of it as I realized in that instant, I

had a gift that some people never got. Although I
was losing my grandmother, I was able to make
amends with her and have a chance at goodbye.

At that moment, there was nothing I wanted

more than to see my grandmother. I looked up at
my mother. “Yes, of course, let me get my shoes,” I
blurted a little louder than I’d anticipated. I was
suddenly anxious.

Mother led the way into the guest house and to

Granny’s  room.  I  slowly  walked  into  the  room
behind  her,  but  she  stopped  just  inside  the  door.
There  was  a  slight  smell  of  medication  that  filled
the air, but there was no mistaking the scent of my
grandmother.  I  wasn’t  sure  how  to  control  the
onslaught  of  memories  that  continued  to  pummel
me, and I was becoming overwhelmed. I stood over
my  grandmother  as  she  lay  there.  I  wanted  to  say

something, but the words were stuck in my throat. I
burst into tears at the realization that I was truly
going to lose her.

Although I’d already seen her, this felt

different,  more  final.  “Oh,  God!”  I  whispered
through  the  muffled  sounds  of  my  cries.  “I
should’ve  been  here.  I  didn’t  know.  I’m  so  sorry
Granny.”  I  looked  up  at  my  mother  with  pleading
eyes.  “Are  you  sure  there  is  nothing  else  doctors
can do?” I asked in a distressed attempt to save my
grandmother  from  the  pain  I  imagined  she  was
enduring. Maybe I also asked in a desperate shot to
redeem  myself  from  all  the  neglect  I  must  have
inflicted on her…on everyone else.

She shook her head as tears fell. “I’m sorry.”
A soft cough came from the pile of white

bedsheets that surrounded my grandmother. She
groaned in pain as she adjusted to lift her head and
look at me.

She reached up and pulled down her oxygen

mask. “Is that Sully? Is that my boy?” she asked, as
she tried hard to normalize her breathing without
the assistance of the mask.”

I came closer to her face and held her hand.

“Yes, Granny. It’s me,” I said with tears in my eyes.

“Oh, Sully, I’m dying, not stupid. It was a

rhetorical question. Where have you been for so
long?”

I chuckled, leave it to Granny to always be a

smart  ass,  even  on  her  death  bed.  The  tears
continued  to  roll  down  my  face,  although  the  sobs
were  now  at  bay.  The  emotions  that  welled  in  my
throat  struggled  to  become  words.  I  took  a  deep
breath and cleared my throat. “I don’t know why I
ever thought I was no longer needed here. It didn’t
feel  like  home  to  me  anymore.  I  am  so  sorry,
Granny. I’m here now. Tell me what you need, and
I’ll get it for you.”

My grandmother chuckled, but it quickly turned

into a coughing fit. Melissa rushed into the room
and to her side. She helped position her and went to
step back when she had her comfortable, but
Granny grabbed Melissa’s hand.

“This is Melissa. She has been my angel all

these years, and I don’t think I could ever be
grateful enough to her.” She kissed her hand and
lifted it toward my face. “The only thing I want to
ask of both of you—” she trailed off, catching her
breath.

I looked up and locked eyes with Melissa.
“—is that you should try to get a life before it’s

too  late.”  She  coughed  again  as  she  spoke,  and  I
could  hear  how  hard  it  was  for  her  to  breathe.  “I
don’t  think  there’s  any  feeling  in  this  world  that
could  replace  falling  in  love  with  someone  that
makes you feel special every day.”

Reluctantly, I looked away from Melissa, and I

tried to feign a smile for my grandmother, but I was

no good at it.

“But what’s the point if you are not there to see

it, Granny?” I protested.

“Who said I wouldn’t be there. No matter what

you do, son, I will be there watching. I love you,
Sully, and I would never leave you.”

Another sob broke free at her words, and I

dropped  my  head  to  our  clasped  hands.  My  heart
broke,  knowing  that  she  did  love  me  enough  to
never  leave  me,  but  I’d  left  her  and  my  mother—
that wracked me with guilt. I wasn’t sure there was
much to say, so I said the only thing I could. “I love
you, too, Granny, and I promise to try to experience
that kind of love.”

I looked back at my grandmother, who was now

fast asleep. I glanced up to see Melissa, who, for a
second, I’d forgotten was in the room. I could tell
she was hurting too as she wiped the tears from her
eyes.

“Come on, we should let her rest.” My mom

held her hand out for me to take.

I hesitated as I looked at my grandmother. She

looked  so  peaceful.  I  leaned  over  and  kissed  her
forehead  and  whispered,  “I  love  you.”  If  I  had  a
choice,  I  would’ve  preferred  to  stay  with  her  until
the end, but my mom was right; she needed to rest.

Melissa left the room first and walked down the

hall. We caught up to her in the living room.

“Would either of you like a coffee or tea?” She

asked as she started the kettle.

“I would love either. Thank you.” I really

wanted to chat with her, seeing as she was the one
who’d spent the most time with her lately.

“I’ll take a raincheck. I’m beat.” My mom

kissed my cheek and said goodnight to Melissa
before she left.

I sat down on a stool at the island and sighed. “I

hope she knows I love her.”

“She knows, Sullivan. Trust me, she knows.”

Her smile was sad, but those few words lifted a
weight, knowing that Granny must have spoken to
Melissa about me.

The room fell silent as Melissa worked around

the kitchen to make us tea. I was in deep thought
about how much of my grandmother’s life I’d
missed just because I didn’t feel like coming home.

Melissa readied a tray, took it over, and then set

it on the coffee table. I followed and took a seat
beside her. As I sipped my tea, I wasn’t sure what
to say. I tried to stop the tears, but a few slipped
out.

“It’s all right to cry, but know she’s not leaving

this  earth  with  any  regrets.  She’s  lived  an  amazing
life, and she’s loved every minute of it. Having you
here  was  the  icing  on  the  cake.  I  feel  like  she’s
been  waiting  for  you,  and  now  she  can  let  go
peacefully.”

Her words soothed my soul. “Thank you. I

needed to hear that.”

he entire house was silent as I stood in the
living room, looking out the window across to

the guest house where my grandmother was resting.
I should be resting, too, but I couldn’t. I spotted the
bottle of whiskey out of the corner of my eye. I
poured myself a glass before taking a sip; the warm
liquid heated me as it ran down my throat.

I sat on the sofa and rested my elbows on my

knees. A strange feeling washed over me. I wasn’t
sure why, but I got the sense that I would never talk
to Granny again. I dropped my head, and I started
to cry once more. It was slow, silent sobs this time.
But someone must’ve heard me as I felt a warm
hand on my shoulder, and I looked up to see mom
crying, too.

“I’m sorry, Sullivan. I know how hard this must

be for you,” she said as she sat down close to me
on the couch.

I immediately pulled her in for a hug and rested

my  head  on  her  shoulder.  I  felt  like  a  little  boy
again,  back  when  my  mom  could  make  anything
better. I felt so weak. I was a grown man. I should
be  consoling  my  mother,  but  I  needed  her.  Her
shushing and back rubs were soothing.

I was finally able to regain my composure after

a few minutes and pulled back to take another sip
of whiskey.

“How was your time with Missy? Were you

able to talk about Granny at all?” She smiled; I
could tell she thought of her fondly.

“Oh yeah, she told me… Wait. What did you

just call her?” I thought her name was Melissa.

“Missy? The girl who has been nursing your

grandmother.”

My brows furrowed, and then it dawned on me.

“Wow!  I  had  no  idea.  No  wonder  it  felt  like  she
knew  me  better  than  I  knew  her.  Why  didn’t  she
say  something?  She  even  called  herself  Melissa
when I introduced myself.”

My mom looked at me incredulously and then

shrugged. “That’s what happens when you let a lot
of time pass without seeing people. You do
remember her, right? She used to come here all the
time, and you babysat her.”

“I know, Mom. But that was a long time ago.

The last time I saw her, she was what…twelve
years old? I was eighteen. Now that I think about it,
that was eight years ago, so, she’s what now?
Twenty?”

My mom nodded as she took a sip of water.

“I’m  sure  you  noticed  that  she’s  not  that  twelve-
year-old  girl  anymore,  who  you  used  to  call
annoying  because  she  followed  you  around  all  the

time.  She’s  grown  into  a  beautiful  and  intelligent
young woman. She is also kind and caring. The kind
of  woman  a  man  like  you  would  be  lucky  to  have
by  his  side.”  She  raised  her  eyebrows  as  she  took
another drink with a smirk.

I knew where this conversation was going, but I

definitely  wasn’t  in  the  right  frame  of  mind  for  a
discussion  like  that.  “Mom!  Please  don’t  start.  I
don’t see her that way. She’s much younger than I
am,  and  quite  honestly,  she’s  probably  much  too
nice a person for me.”

My mom rolled her eyes in response. So

mature.

“Okay, okay. Maybe I have noticed how

beautiful  and  kind  she  is,  but  I  have  seriously  not
thought  anything  of  it.  Plus,  I  think  it  would  be
weird to date someone I used to babysit. Don’t you
agree?”  I  was  lying;  of  course,  I’d  thought  of  her
that way.

My mom chuckled and patted my knee. “You

want my opinion? Well, I think the fact that you’re
asking  me  that  question  means  that  you  have
considered  it,  and  you’re  still  considering  it.  My
answer is, do as you wish as long as Missy doesn’t
get  hurt.  I  don’t  think  you  have  ever  done
something  you  didn’t  want  to  do.  So  why  start
now?”

I smiled at her; she was right. I would be blind

not to have noticed how astonishingly gorgeous she

was—with her dark-blond hair and deep-ocean-
blue eyes. Then, there were the dimples that came
out anytime she smiled or laughed.

But I’d die before I admitted to my mother’s

face that she was right, especially about a woman.

“Why is she living with you? Aren’t her parents

wealthy? Why would their daughter be living in our
guesthouse when I’m sure they have a house even
larger than this one?” There was a hint of curiosity
in my tone, but then concern washed over me at the
thought that I might not want to hear the answer
once I saw my mother’s face.

My mom sighed before speaking. “We took her

in  two  years  ago.  Her  parents  died  in  a  tragic
accident. She was just eighteen at the time, and she
could  have  chosen  to  live  anywhere  she  wanted.
She  certainly  had  the  money  to  do  so,  but  it  was
almost like she was staying with us even before her
parents’  passing.  She  had  been  taking  care  of
grandma  for  about  two  years  before  the  accident
while she’d finished her nursing degree. So, she had
begun to spend more time here until she became a
permanent  house  guest,  and  we  love  having  her
around. I offered her a room in the main house, but
she insisted on a room in the guest house instead so
that she could be closer to Granny.”

She took the last sip from her glass and then

looked at mine. “You do know it won’t solve a
thing, right?” She nodded at my glass. “I know from

experience.”

I shrugged as I looked down at the amber liquid

I hadn’t touched since the first sip. “I know. I don’t
drink, but I couldn’t sleep; thought it might help.”

She stood and kissed me on the forehead before

she walked away.

“I love you, Mom!” I shouted as she walked

down the hallway to the kitchen.

“I love you, too. By the way, you’re helping

with the Christmas decorations,” she yelled back.

I chuckled, not the least bit put out by the

thought  of  decorating.  I’d  gladly  do  anything  my
mom  asked  me  right  now.  Sinking  back  onto  the
sofa,  I  realized  that  although  I  might  have  had  my
last  moments  with  my  grandmother,  I  still  had  my
mother, the house I grew up in, and all of my fond
memories of Granny. I may be sad at the loss of one
family  member,  but  I  could  appreciate  that  there
was  still  more  to  look  forward  to.  As  Granny  had
rightly  said,  life  was  short,  and  I  was  not  going  to
let any more opportunities go to waste.

MELISSA

fter seeing Sullivan last night with Granny
and having a chat with him, I had a whole

new perspective on the guy. I’d always thought he
was a selfish asshole for leaving and never coming
back,  but  now  that  I  knew  why,  I  understood.  I
didn’t run far away when my parents died, but I’d
come  here  and  buried  myself  in  taking  care  of
Granny  without  a  thought  of  what  would  happen
when she passed.

As I lay in bed that night, I knew that I might

never be able to ask Granny for advice again, and
with that realization came others. I needed to think
about my life, my future, and the fact that I’d have
to move forward without her. For the first time in a
while, I had no idea what I was going to do with
myself and no excuses to keep me here.

The next day brought more of the same

thoughts. I hadn’t felt like doing much. My body
felt weighted down, and all I wanted to do was

sleep. I did my usual checks on Granny, but she just
laid there, only coming out of unconsciousness
once for a very brief moment.

I avoided visitors as they came to spend time

with  her,  needing  time  to  myself.  I’d  known  this
day  was  coming  for  some  time.  I’d  started  caring
for  her  a  few  years  back,  knowing  she  wasn’t  in
good  health.  I’d  run  through  every  scenario  in  my
head since the doctors had told us the end was near.
I  felt  like  I  was  prepared,  but  now  that  it  was
looming, I wasn’t ready in the slightest. I knew I’d
hear the flatline of her heart monitor sooner rather
than later, and that haunted my dreams on a nightly
basis.

Although I’d avoided everyone, I was happy for

the  temporary  relief  when  Sullivan  and  his  mom
went to the store. The thought of him did something
to me, so knowing they were gone and there was no
chance  of  seeing  him  helped  to  keep  my  mind  off
of  him—at  least  a  little.  I  wasn’t  ready  to  handle
my emotions about Granny or the confusion of how
I felt about Sullivan.

I was relieved I had somehow managed to get

through the entire day without having to talk much
with anyone. The only reason I came out of my
room at all was to take care of Granny.

I’d slept so much during the day that I wasn’t

able to drift off to sleep for the night until around
midnight, although I’d been trying for hours.

Granny didn’t need any medication until the
morning, so I had gone to bed early. My body and
mind were beyond exhausted, and I was hoping
that sleep would take me under.

I woke to a ringing sound and looked over at

the clock that read two-forty. I tried to clear my
ears of the ringing, but it didn’t help. I sat up in bed
and looked around in a daze. I was still half asleep.
I threw off the blankets and grabbed my robe
before opening my door. Then it hit me.

“Granny!” I screamed as I bolted out of my

room and down the hall.

My heart was beating out of my chest as I slid

to  a  stop  at  her  open  door.  I  cast  my  eyes
instinctively to the screen of the EKG machine, and
my fears were confirmed. A thin line ran across the
screen  as  the  monotonous  sound  rang  loudly
throughout  the  room.  Granny’s  heart  had  finally
given in, but I wasn’t ready for her to leave just yet.

I ran to her side and placed both of my hands

gently  on  her  chest.  I  started  compressions  and
breathing  like  I’d  practiced  so  many  times  before.
I’d  never  experienced  this  much  panic  as  I  hoped
with  every  fiber  of  my  being  that  her  heart  would
start beating and her chest would rise and fall once
again.

I don’t know how long I worked on her; I’d

gone into autopilot. My arms were numb, but I was
determined not to give up. I looked up at the EKG

machine  as  the  room  went  silent  and  then  back
down to Granny’s peaceful face, but she still wasn’t
breathing.  I  was  about  to  restart  CPR  when  I  felt
large  arms  wrap  around  me  and  carry  me  away
from her bedside.

I reached out, trying to grab the bedrail. “Come

back, Granny. Don’t leave me, please. I can’t lose
you, too.” I screamed as a sob escaped my throat,
and I tried to fight him off.

“Stop yelling.” Sullivan’s voice was calm as he

tried to control me.

I wasn’t sure how he’d known to come to the

guest  house,  but  I  had  probably  woken  the
neighborhood with my shouting. I tried desperately
to  free  myself  from  his  grip,  but  he  was  way
stronger  than  I  was,  and  he  wasn’t  letting  go.  I
finally  got  dragged  into  the  hall  before  I  was  put
down. I turned around immediately and tried to go
back into the room, but Sullivan stood at the door,
blocking my way.

“Let me in, Sullivan. Move now, or I’ll have to

go through you!” I hollered frantically.

At that moment, all I could feel was rage and

pain. Sullivan stood still; his face sad as he tried to
quiet me. I was seeing red and could see his mouth
moving, but I couldn’t hear anything he said.

I started to beat on his chest. “Just let me

through. I can bring her back. I swear I can. I can’t
lose her, too, please,” I implored desperately. “I’m

not ready,” I pleaded.

His arms fell as he appeared to give in, and I

used that moment to try to push Sullivan out of the
way, but I wasn’t near powerful enough. After
another few minutes of failing, I ran out of energy
and slumped to the floor.

Sullivan crouched in front of me and put his

hands on my cheeks. “Hey, Missy. Granny’s gone. I
know you tried your best and loved her very much,
but it’s time to let her go. She’s at peace,” he said in
a soft, soothing voice.

The sobs wracked my body as I became a

blubbering mess in that hallway. Sullivan sat beside
me  and  pulled  me  into  his  lap.  I  didn’t  bother  to
fight him. I felt protected in his arms as he rubbed
my  back.  I  let  go  and  allowed  myself  to  fall  apart
secure  in  his  embrace.  I  could  hear  the  muffled
sounds of Susan’s voice speaking softly, but I didn’t
look  up.  I  wanted  to  stay  wrapped  in  Sullivan’s
protection  like  this  instead  of  dealing  with  the
horrible reality my life had suddenly become.

In a way, it was selfish. Granny was their flesh

and blood, and I was merely the orphaned girl next
door  who  they’d  taken  pity  on,  but  on  the  other
hand,  Granny  and  I  truly  had  a  connection.  The
Moore  family  had  become  my  whole  world  since
mine had come crashing down.

I felt Sullivan take in a deep breath, and I pulled

back to look up at him. He had tears trailing down

his face. I reached up and wiped them away and let
my hand rest on his cheek as I stared into his
bright-green irises. “You have her eyes,” I
whispered.

He reached his hand up to cover mine and

smiled. Although just moments before I’d felt lost
and left behind, for that instant, I felt…whole, like
everything would be all right.

“Everything will be okay, Missy. I promise.” He

leaned in and pressed his lips to my forehead.

My stomach did summersaults, and as I closed

my eyes, his lips lingering a little longer than I
would’ve thought. “Thank you. I’m sorry for how I
acted. I should be the one consoling you. She was
your grandmother, not mine.” I sniffed.

“Don’t be ridiculous, you’re family. My mother

talks of you like you’re her daughter. I also saw you
two together; she loved you like her own. I know
you loved her, too. You’ve cared for her, and for
that, I will forever be grateful.”

I smiled but couldn’t speak. His words brought

happy tears to the surface, and I was trying not to
lose it all over again. I pulled back reluctantly and
climbed out of his lap. He stood with me but
seemed to be watching me like I was a feral animal,
wondering if I was going to go crazy.

“You can relax; I’m fine. I just want to say

goodbye. I didn’t get a chance before.”

He smiled sadly. “I’ve already called 9-1-1, but

take your time.”

“Of course.” I wanted to slap myself. This was

my job, and as her nurse, I should’ve already
called. I was a mess, and it was both unprofessional
and completely unlike me.

He hesitated for a moment, not taking his eyes

off me, but he finally stepped out of my way. “I’ll
be right back.”

I got the feeling he wasn’t worried about my

sanity, but he just wanted to be close by. Or maybe
that was wishful thinking on my part because as I
watched him walk away, I started to feel empty all
over again.

I closed my eyes before turning and walking

into Granny’s room. I didn’t look up at her until I
was standing by her bed. She looked so peaceful as
I took her hand and sat down in the seat beside her.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t save you. I miss you already,
but I know you’re in a better place.” I rested my
head on the side of the bed as I said a little prayer
for her. I couldn’t believe she was gone.

I heard Sullivan’s footsteps as he walked

toward me and then rested his hand on my shoulder
without saying a word. His touch comforted me,
and I didn’t try to hold back the tears as they rolled
down my cheeks and fell to the sheets. I took a
moment to silently prepare myself for this to be it.

I stood and tucked her in properly, making sure

to cover her entire body except her face with the

white  sheet.  I  unplugged  the  EKG  machine  and
removed  the  drip  line  from  her  hand.  This  time,  I
didn’t  hear  the  familiar  sound  she  made  when  she
felt the little sting the needle caused on its way out.
This  time,  there  was  no  reaction.  There  was…
nothing. It was at that point that I smiled.

Sullivan looked over at me. “What made you

smile just then?” he asked, most likely fascinated
by my latest emotion.

“I just realized now that while I might be in

pain from the loss of a loved one, Granny, on the
other hand, will never feel any pain again. And that
makes me happy.”

He smiled back at me and took my hand as he

led me from the room.

he guest house now felt lonely and no longer
like home. I’d been hiding in my room for the

entire  day.  Glancing  at  the  clock,  I  noticed  it  was
now afternoon. I’d tried to sleep, but I would doze
off  for  a  few  minutes  and  then  wake  up  in  a  cold
sweat.  Although  Bridget  had  brought  me  food
twice, I couldn’t stomach anything but a few sips of
water.  I  just  didn’t  feel  like  doing  anything  other
than lying in bed.

It seemed fitting for Granny to pass on a

Sunday; it was her favorite day of the week. We’d
go to church whenever she had the energy, and the
hymns would light her up. Growing up we didn’t go
much, but the holidays we all got dressed in our
best and went to service. We’d always sit with the
Moore family. The Christmas service grew to be my
favorite. If I closed my eyes, I could picture
Granny singing along, and it brought a smile to my
face.

Even though I’d said I was happy that I thought

she’d found peace, there was a selfish part of me
that still wished she was alive.

It was around six before I finally decided to get

out  of  bed.  I  kept  my  eyes  cast  down  as  I  walked
out  of  my  room,  being  sure  not  to  look  in  the
direction  of  her  room.  Knowing  she  wasn’t  there
hurt  so  bad.  I  tried  to  block  out  the  vision  of  her
lying there lifeless as that wasn’t like her. She was
an  energetic  woman,  and  I’d  prefer  to  keep  my
memories of her that way.

I walked outside to head over to the main

house,  thinking  maybe  I  needed  a  drink.  I  hadn’t
done  much  drinking  in  my  life;  I  wasn’t  even  of
legal  age,  but  I’d  had  some  coolers  and  a  few
glasses of wine here and there. I figured that’s what
people  did  when  they  were  stressed,  so  I  would
give it a try.

I tiptoed in the back door and through to the

living room. The house was silent. Bridget had

mentioned  that  she  and  Susan  were  going  out  to
make  preparations  for  the  funeral.  I  wasn’t  sure
where  Sullivan  was,  but  I  felt  a  little  comfort  in
knowing  that  he  wasn’t  in  here  to  judge  me  as  I
drank  my  sorrows.  I  poured  myself  some  amber
liquid not knowing what it was and breathed in the
smell. I coughed at the strong stench; it was awful.

I stood at the window, holding my glass and

looked up, wondering if she was looking down at
me right this moment. The snowflakes began to fall
as did my tears.

This day would’ve been one of Granny’s

favorites. She loved the snow, especially during the
holidays. I bet she was somehow responsible for
this. I smiled through my sadness.

I set down my glass on the side table and

pushed open the door to run outside. As the flurries
fell, I danced around, doing twirls in the snow like a
child. My arms stretched wide with my head facing
up toward the sky. I felt free and full of joy in that
moment.

Thoughts of what Granny had told me the other

day ran through my mind as I pranced around. She
was  right;  I  needed  to  live,  and  I  wanted  to  have
this  feeling  more  often.  The  only  way  I  could  do
that  was  to  move  and  start  fresh.  There  was  no
better time than the present. Susan was going to be
upset, but I also thought she would support me. I’d
stay for Granny’s funeral, but after that, I needed to

start making other arrangements.

“Do you make it a habit of dancing in the snow

like a kid?” Sullivan’s deep voice startled me, and I
stopped twirling.

I’d become dizzy from spinning for so long. I

could feel myself tilting on all axis, and before I hit
the ground, Sullivan caught me.

I burst into a fit of giggles; I couldn’t help

myself. I was delusional; every time Sullivan near, I
had  this  sense  of  warmth  and  safety,  and  when  I
was in his embrace it was magnified. I knew it was
the  residual  effects  of  my  childhood  crush,  but  I
had a  little voice  in  the back  of  my mind  that  said
you’re not a kid anymore; you’re both adults. With
his  face  just  inches  from  mine,  I  looked  into  his
smoldering  green  eyes,  the  look  he  reciprocated
had a hint of adoration in it, but I brushed it off as
more  of  my  fantasies.  I  quickly  snapped  out  of  it
and  pulled  myself  out  of  his  hold.  The  emptiness
crept  in  again  as  it  seemed  to  every  time  I  left  his
embrace.  I  needed  to  get  a  grip  on  myself.  This
really wasn’t healthy.

I cleared my throat as I attempted to regain my

composure. “Sorry about that. I guess I got a little
carried away.”

He continued to stare at me with an odd

expression, almost as if he were trying to read my
thoughts.

I tried again. “What brings you out in the

snow?”

“Apparently, I’m out here to save a beautiful

woman from face planting it.” His lip ticked up at
the corners, but he tried not to laugh. “What are
you doing out here?”

“That you did. Thank you for catching me, by

the way.” I smiled. “But in all honesty, I’m not sure
why I’m out here. I was in the living room about to
take  a  drink  because  I  needed  to  numb  the  pain,
and  I  looked  up  in  the  sky,  and  it  started  to  snow.
Granny loved  the  snow  more  than  anything,  and  I
knew  it  was  her  telling  me  it  was  okay.  So,  I  ran
outside and started to dance.”

Sullivan seemed intrigued as he moved slightly

closer. “I knew she loved the holidays, but I didn’t
know she loved the snow that much.”

“Well, need I remind you that you are the one

who  stayed  away  from  home  all  these  years.  Any
time there was a snowfall, Granny would bring me
out  here  to  watch  the  flakes  drift  through  the  air,
and  when  it  began  to  be  too  much  for  her,  we’d
watch it through the window.”

I looked up at him, his expression serious. I

could  feel  his  breath  on  my  face,  his  lips  mere
inches  from  mine.  He  grabbed  my  hands,  putting
one on his shoulder and the other he lifted with his
out  to  the  side.  His  free  hand  wrapped  around  my
waist,  pulling  my  body  flush  with  his  as  he  started
to sway with me.

“Dance with me?” It sounded like a question,

but I wasn’t quite sure since we’d already started to
move.

My body relaxed into his, and I rested my head

against his chest. The snow fell around us as we
swayed without music.

“She used to say the snow reminded her of

everything pure and holy in the world. The snow
reminded her of everything peaceful,” I whispered,
not sure he’d be able to hear me.

I felt the rumbled in his chest as he spoke.

“That sounds like Granny. She loved to find the
good in everyone and everything.”

I looked up through my lashes at him as I felt

him  shiver.  I  noticed  that  Sullivan’s  cheeks  were
turning  bright  red,  and  his  lips  were  losing  color.
Instinctively, I reached up and cupped his cheeks; I
couldn’t help it. “Looks like you aren’t as much of
a lover of the snow and cold as Granny was. Let’s
get  you  inside  where  you  can  watch  it  from  the
warmth.”

He didn’t budge. Instead, he just stood there,

staring into my eyes. After a moment, he brought
his hand up to cover mine on his cheek. We stood
there in silence until I couldn’t take it anymore.

“Come on, before your mother blames me for

letting you freeze to death.” I tugged at his shirt to
pull him from his trance.

The snow was starting to come down much

heavier and was beginning to stick to the ground. I
started for the door, and Sullivan followed. When
we got inside, I started to dust the snow out of my
hair and took off my shoes so I didn’t track water
all over the house.

I looked up to find Sullivan staring at me. “You

know it’s rude to stare. I know your mother taught
you better than that.” I giggled awkwardly, and the
way he looked at me had me squirming.

He seemed to snap out of his daze. “You are

incredibly beautiful, especially covered in snow.”
He didn’t say another word before he turned and
casually walked away without another glance in my
direction.

I smiled to myself but shouted at him, “That

was smooth, Mr. Moore. You’re getting better at
this!” I teased.

Before I could say another word, Bridget came

in, carrying a bunch of bags. I couldn’t keep the
smile from my face. I took some of the bags from
her to distract myself. She wasn’t very observant.

On the other hand, Susan walked in and noticed

immediately. “What’s got you out of bed and all
smiles? It’s nice to see.”

They both stood there, waiting for a response.
There was no way in hell was I telling them the

truth, so I lied. “Nothing in particular, just trying to
see things differently.”

She came over and pulled me in for a hug.

SULLIVAN

he day had gone by in a haze. Although I’d
lost my grandmother, she was in a better place

and  no  longer  in  pain.  My  emotions  were  all  over
the  place.  They  seemed  to  flip  flop  between  two
people,  Granny  and  Missy.  I  couldn’t  seem  to  get
Missy  off  my  mind.  She  looked  nothing  like  the
annoying  girl  with  braces,  acne,  and  pigtails.  She
was  certainly  no  longer  irritating,  and  she  didn’t
follow  me  around.  Now,  if  anything,  I  wanted  to
shadow  her  like  a  lost  puppy  dog.  I  wasn’t  sure  if
she  had  game  or  if  she  was  just  flippant  when  it
came to me. She was hard to read.

I remembered when I’d realized she had a crush

on  me.  At  first  it  was  cute,  but  it  quickly  became
annoying having such a young girl pining over me. I
was  eighteen  and  into  cheerleaders.  I  didn’t  want
anything to do with her. I begged my parents to get
me  out  of  it,  but  they’d  just  laugh,  thinking  the
crush  was  adorable.  When  I’d  had  enough,  I

resorted to being mean, hoping she would ask her
parents to let her stay home. It was short-lived as I
left for college, but those months after I realized it,
were agonizing.

The memories of how badly I’d handled things

then plagued me the next morning as I laid in bed. I
hoped and prayed that Missy didn’t remember
much of the way I’d treated her. And if she did,
hopefully, she’d have a sense of humor about it.

Although this trip was about saying goodbye to

Granny and reconnecting with my mother—which I
felt  like  I’d  been  able  to  do—I  couldn’t  help  but
wonder  if  there  was  something  more  between
Missy  and  me.  Every  time  I  was  with  her,  I  was
captivated. There was a spark I only saw in movies
—which  I  always  thought  was  a  bunch  of  bullshit.
I’d  never  had  a  problem  talking  to  women  in  the
past,  but  the  history  between  us  made  things
difficult.

As I lay there completely unsure of how I

should approach her, I weighed my options. After
much deliberation and a long internal pep talk, I
convinced myself to just go speak to her.

I jumped out of bed and got ready before

heading  out  to  the  guest  house.  I  debated  on
whether  to  knock  but  decided  after  the  last  two
encounters  that  it  was  probably  a  good  idea.  I
waited  with  no  response,  so  I  opened  the  door
slightly and shouted for her, but she didn’t answer.

Disappointed, I walked back to the main house,

not paying much attention to my surroundings.

“Hey, Master Sullivan.” Bridget stood right in

front of me when I looked up. “Lift your chin, or
you’ll end up running into someone.”

I smiled but didn’t say anything.
She touched my shoulder lightly. “What’s the

matter? Anything I can help with?” Her genuine
smile nearly had me blurting out everything just so I
could get some advice from a women’s perspective.

I contemplated for a moment, not sure I wanted

to  raise  any  red  flags  about  Missy  and  me  since
really there was nothing going on…yet. But I really
wanted  to  see  her.  I  took  a  deep  breath  and  opted
for  nonchalance.  “You  haven’t  seen  Missy  by
chance,  have  you?  After  yesterday  I  thought  I
would check on her.”

The biggest smile graced Bridget’s face. “I sure

have. She was sitting at the kitchen island just
minutes ago. I’m sure she hasn’t wandered far.”

“Thank you.” I smiled down at her before

turning in the direction of the kitchen. I had to stop
myself from running. I felt like a little boy with his
first crush. It was exhilarating and strange. I just
wanted to be with her all the time.

I stopped as I rounded the corner. Luckily for

me,  she  was  still  sitting  at  the  counter.  She  wore  a
cream-colored,  cable-knit  sweater  and  black  jeans.
She’d  let  her  long,  blond  hair  down,  which  was  so

different from her usual ponytail. I wasn’t sure she
could look bad, but right now—even from behind
—she was perfect.

I tried to creep up behind her to scare her, but

she  barely  startled.  She  glanced  up  at  me
momentarily  and  then  returned  her  focus  to  the
laptop  in  front  of  her.  I  stood  there  for  a  moment,
shocked by her lack of playfulness. She was always
so carefree, and I was supposed to be the stuck up,
boring  one.  Apparently,  the  roles  had  reversed  for
the time being.

I brushed it off and took a seat beside her.

“Good morning, Missy. You let your hair down
today.” I brushed a few strands out of her face so I
could see her. “Is this a new look for you?” I
wasn’t sure what to say, so I just went with the first
thing that came to mind.

She burst out with an extremely fake laugh.

“You’re still so funny, Sullivan. I guess old habits
die hard. Or you can’t teach an old dog new tricks.
Whatever the case, I’m glad you still get a kick out
of teasing me after all these years.” She didn’t even
glance up from the screen.

“Whoa, Missy, I was not making fun of you.

The complete opposite, actually.”

She finally looked up, but her face said she

didn’t believe a word I’d just said.

I took a deep breath, wondering how I was

going to convince her and decided to just go with it.

“Listen,  I  am  sorry  I  didn’t  remember  you  at  first,
but  you  have  to  believe  me  when  I  say  that  you
look  nothing  like  your  twelve-year-old  self.  It’s
been  eight  years,  and  although  I  hadn’t  forgotten
who you were, I didn’t recognize the beautiful, kind
woman  you’ve  become.”  I  paused  for  a  moment
and noticed her face had softened but only slightly.
“When  my  mom  explained,  I  couldn’t  believe  it,
not  because  you  weren’t  cute  back  then  but  that
you’d  grown  up  to  be—”  I  trailed  off,  waving  my
hand  around  like  Vanna  freaking  White.  I  couldn’t
quite  put  into  words  how  stunning  Missy  was.  “I
didn’t mean to offend you. I was trying to pay you
a  compliment  about  your  hair.  You  always  look
nice,  but  I  was  just  acknowledging  that  your  hair
looks striking when you let it down.”

She reached up and twirled her a lock around

her finger absentmindedly, and a small smile graced
her lips, but she didn’t say anything.

“I’m sorry for everything I said when we were

kids. I was eighteen and at that age where you were
far too young, obviously. Six years younger at
twenty-six is one thing. Six years younger at
eighteen equals jail time.” I laughed, trying to ease
the tension.

“Listen, I’m sorry I snapped. It’s just that I

have a lot going on in my head that I’m trying to
sort through. Thank you for the apology. It means a
lot. I had honestly forgiven you until you came

back and all those old feelings came rushing back.”

I cocked a brow and decided to ask. “All the

old feelings?”

The blush that crept up her neck and cheeks

gave me all the answers I needed.

“Let me rephrase—”
I quickly cut her off. “Don’t bother. I know that

you still have that crush on me.” I continued when
she tried to interrupt, “Don’t deny it.”

She giggled, and the sound was music to my

ears. “Glad to see you at least have a sense of
humor under that stuck up suit of yours.” She
smiled.

All I wanted to do was lean down and kiss her,

but I knew it wasn’t the time. I would have to win
this one over. “So, what are you working on?”

She turned the computer toward me, and I

leaned in a little closer to see the screen. As I did, I
caught a whiff of her perfume and had to refrain
from leaning in and sniffing her; she smelled
amazing.

Seeing the ZipRecruiter logo on the screen

made my stomach drop. “Looking for a job?”

“Yeah, I figured no time like the present.” She

shrugged it off like it was no big deal when it
clearly was and not for just her.

I took a moment to collect my thoughts. I

wasn’t sure how I felt about this. I glanced at the
screen again and noticed another tab was a realty

site.  My  heart  began  to  race  a  million  miles  a
minute.  I  wasn’t  sure  what  I  was  freaking  out
about.  I  didn’t  even  live  here.  She  was  also  an
adult, and I was sure she didn’t want to live in the
guest house forever, but I didn’t want her to leave.

“Where are you going?”
She turned on her stool and looked up, sad and

sort  of  defeated.  “Before  now,  being  around  this
house and taking care of Granny was all I knew and
cared about. But right before she died, she told me
something  that  has  stuck  with  me  since.  She  said
that  I  needed  to  find  myself;  that  I  needed  to  find
my  own  path  in  life  if  I  didn’t  want  to  end  up
miserable  and  filled  with  regret.”  She  sighed  and
looked down at her feet as she swung them back at
forth.  “Now  that  she’s  gone,  there’s  no  reason  to
stick around. Sure, I’ll miss your mom and Bridget,
but  I’ll  come  back  and  visit.  It’s  just  that  being  in
the  guest  house  is  too  painful.  It’s  not  the  same
without Granny there. Everything feels empty.” She
looked up at me again. “I’m only twenty. I have so
much life to live. I haven’t had a boyfriend since…
Well,  we  don’t  need  to  go  there.  My  life  has  been
Granny, and now, I need to make her proud.”

I wondered how long it had been, selfishly, of

course, but kept that to myself. “I completely
understand, but let’s make a deal. It’s the holidays,
and I’m sure my grandmother wouldn’t want you to
spend it looking for a job. Also, it’s going to be

extremely hard to find decent employment this time
of year. So, I propose that you let go of the job
search for now.” I closed her laptop and stood from
the stool.

She looked at me with a smirk as she crossed

her arms over her chest and allowed me to
continue.

“So, now that the job search is on hold, you can

take the time to enjoy the holidays with me.”

I pushed the laptop away from the edge of the

counter  and  rested  my  hands  on  either  side  of  her
stool before leaning in close. Our noses were only a
few  inches  apart.  I  couldn’t  help  but  lean  in  just  a
little  farther;  I  could  feel  her  breath  against  my
face.

She smiled and didn’t waver. “So, how do you

propose we spend the holidays?” Her voice just a
whisper with a hint of suggestion.

I chuckled uncomfortably. This girl had me feel

things I’d never experienced before. Awkward
wasn’t something that even hit my radar, ever, but
with her, it seemed to be a regular occurrence.

I cleared my throat, trying to regain my

composure.  “Well,  for  starters,  I’m  going  to  take
you  Christmas  shopping.  I’ve  heard  there’s  no
better  way  to  get  a  girl’s  mind  off  things  than  by
buying a bunch of stuff.”

She threw back her head and laughed, and the

sound was music to my ears. “All right, I like that.

Why not? I’ll go out with you. It’s not like there’s
anything else to do around here.”

“I’m not sure if I should be offended or not.” I

put up my hand. “Don’t answer that. I’m going to
be content with the fact that you’ve agreed to
spend time with me and leave it at that. Grab your
jacket, and I’ll pull the car around back to pick you
up.”

MELISSA

wasn’t really in the mindset for shopping. I’d
agreed because I needed to get out of the house,

and spending time with Sullivan would definitely be
a  bonus.  I  couldn’t  live  under  the  covers,  and
Granny would be pissed if she knew that was how I
was  wasting  my  time.  I’d  also  said  yes  to  Sullivan
because  I  was  intrigued  as  to  how  this  would  go.
Furthermore,  I  wanted  to  start  over  with  him  and
see  if  we  could  move  past  the  whole  crush  thing;
granted I wasn’t sure I could say I didn’t still have
one.

Helping Sullivan navigate the streets was

completely necessary, although he wouldn’t admit
it. He thought he knew where he was going, but he
kept getting lost.

“Ugh, are you even listening to me?” I shook

my head as he took yet another wrong turn. “Do
you have a chauffeur back home?”

He gave me a side-eyed glance. “Umm…

maybe.”

I burst out laughing. “That explains everything.

Honestly, can I just drive? Or do you have a
problem with a woman behind the wheel?”

He pulled over on the side of the road almost

immediately  and  threw  the  car  in  park  before
turning in his seat. “I do not have a problem with a
woman  driving  at  all.  I  do  have  a  problem  with
back-seat  drivers,  though.”  He  cocked  a  brow.  “I
know where I’m going, but I keep getting flustered
and missing my turns.”

“Missing your turns?” I questioned; men were

ridiculous when it came to admitting their faults,
especially when it came to directions of any sort.
“You are clueless. You’re making too many turns. I
could’ve had us there ten minutes ago.”

He threw up his hands in surrender. “Fine, she’s

all yours.”

I sat there in shock as he got out of the car. I

couldn’t believe he was going to let me drive. His
knock on the window startled me.

He pulled open my door and put his hand out

for me to take. “Are you going to drive, or am I
getting back in?” He seemed flustered but was still
in good spirits based on the smile on his face.

I took off my seat belt and grabbed his hand so

he could help me up. He pulled me out and into his
rock-hard chest before wrapping one arm around
my waist. “I think you’re enjoying this way too

much, Missy.” The smirk on his face had my lady
bits taking notice. The feel of his breath against my
face had chills running down my spine.

“A little.” That was all I could eke out with him

so close.

He leaned in; I almost thought he was going to

kiss me, but he veered left to my ear. “I don’t doubt
that you’ll be able to find the mall, but please drive
carefully. This car was not built for snow, and I’d
like to see where this goes.” He didn’t elaborate as
he stepped back, and I immediately felt the absence
of his body against mine.

“I promise.” I walked around the car, suddenly

nervous about driving this car. I may have grown
up with money and had plenty in my accounts, but
my parents had made sure I was grounded and
earned everything I got. We had nice things, but I’d
never had a high-end car like this. My parents were
more practical, and in turn, I was as well.

Climbing into the driver’s seat, I took a few

deep  breaths  and  buckled  my  seat  belt.  I  noticed
that  Sullivan  hadn’t  got  into  the  car  yet.  I  leaned
over  and  looked  up  at  him.  “Hey,  you  coming  or
you  thinking  you  want  to  walk  instead?  If  so,  I’ll
draw you a map.”

He seemed to snap out of it and shook his head,

smiling. “Shut it. I’m coming.”

Finally, two hours after leaving the house, I got

us to the mall in five minutes and pulled the car into

a  front-row  spot  with  ease.  With  Christmas  being
two  days  away,  I  couldn’t  believe  we’d  found  any
spot,  let  alone  one  that  close.  “I  don’t  know  how
we  scored  this  space,  but  I’m  going  to  say  it’s
because I’m amazing.”

Sullivan shook his head and laughed. “You are

pretty amazing, but in my defense, this is a new
mall, and all the streets look completely different
than I remember.”

“Excuses, excuses. I don’t know why men

can’t ever just admit they suck at directions.”

He chuckled but didn’t retort before getting out

of the car.

I rounded the front and slapped the keys into

his hand as he closed his hand around mine.

“So, what types of stores does Missy like?”
I went to speak, but he cut me off. “No, wait,

don’t tell me. Let’s figure this out as we go. I can
guess as we see a store. I love games, so let’s play.
Whoever guesses the most correct stores owes the
other one a date.”

I cocked a brow. “Umm…doesn’t that mean no

matter what we’d be going on a date? So, what’s
the point in playing?” I was a little confused.

“No point, except the date.” He shrugged and

then pulled his hand from mine and put the keys
into his pocket. Then Sullivan took my hand again
as we walked toward the mall.

I stopped a few feet away from the doors. As

we stood at the entrance to the mall, I took in deep
breaths in preparation for the madness we were
about to step into. I didn’t experience anxiety
much, but this was going to be insane.

Sullivan looked at me questioningly. “Why are

you doing that? Should I be doing the same or
what?” he asked with a grin.

He had such an amazing smile; it was one of the

things I loved most about him when I was a kid. If I
weren’t completely lying to myself, it was also
something that I loved about him now, too.

“You should. It’s two days before Christmas,

and  if  you  hadn’t  noticed  the  full  parking  lot,  this
place  is  going  to  be  a  war  zone.  You  should  be
prepared for any and all combat.” I tried to hide the
smile,  but  it  was  no  use.  “It’s  just  crazy  shopping
around the holidays.”

He shook his head. “Women.”
“Clearly, you’ve never experienced a mall this

close  to  Christmas,  so  you  are  in  for  a  rude
awakening.”  I  rolled  my  eyes  at  his  naivete  and
pulled  him  along  through  the  revolving  doors.  We
stopped  just  inside  the  doors  and  took  in  our
surroundings. “See what I mean? Everyone literally
turns into monsters as they brave the stores to find
their  last-minute  gifts  like  they  didn’t  know
Christmas  was  in  December  every  single  year.
You’ll learn a lot today.”

“Well, I am curious to see how a beautiful

woman like you becomes a monster.” I could hear
the grin in his voice but didn’t look at him.

“Be honest; do lines like that work on a lot of

women where you come from? Because I’m still
deciding if I should cringe or indulge you by saying
it worked.”

He laughed but pulled me into his side. He

seemed  to  be  getting  really  comfortable  with
touching  me,  and  I  wasn’t  going  to  argue—I  was
enjoying  it.  “I  don’t  usually  have  to  use  lines.
You’re  different.  So,  what  part  of  the  mall  do  you
want to go to first?”

“Candles. I could use some new ones. I really

need some new jeans, too.”

y the time we’d finished shopping, we were
spent, and the moon was hanging high in the

sky. We walked out of the mall laughing. Shopping
with  Sullivan  had  been  really  fun.  He’d  left  his
businessman  façade  behind  and  finally  let  loose.  I
really like this side of him. This was the Sully I fell
for when I was a kid, and I could admit—at least to
myself—that  I  still  had  a  huge  crush  on  the  guy.
The  problem  was,  I  was  just  a  holiday  distraction.
When it was all over, he would go back home and
probably never think twice about me again.

On the way to the car, I stopped suddenly and

turned to him. “Just out of curiosity, where did you
disappear to earlier?”

He looked at me with scrunched up brows, not

sure if he was playing dumb or truly didn’t know
what I was talking about.

So, I elaborated. “Remember when you left me

carrying all these on my own?” I lifted the
multitudes of bags in my hands. “And you went
missing for like ten minutes, ring a bell?”

He smiled back at me. “Ah, yeah, I didn’t go

far. I just went around looking for…you know, man
stuff, aftershave and whatnot.”

“And you didn’t find any? We can stop on the

way home at the drug store if you’d like.”

“I’m good,” he said and continued to walk.
I was sure he was hiding something. Maybe

he’d seen another girl he knew, and he didn’t want
me to feel weird about it. I quickly shrugged it off
and caught up to him.

When we got back to the car, Sullivan helped

me get my bags into the trunk and then opened the
passenger  door  for  me.  He  rested  his  hands  on  the
frame  and  loomed  over  my  seat.  “Hey,  I  really
don’t feel like going back to the house just yet. Do
you  mind  if  we  grab  some  dinner  and  maybe  a
movie if we have time?”

I didn’t want to seem too eager, so I took a

minute to pretend to think it over. “All right, I

could  eat,  not  sure  I  want  to  sit  through  an  entire
movie  with  you,  but  we  can  play  it  by  ear.”  I
shrugged, trying to play it cool. I wasn’t certain that
sitting  in  a  dark  theatre  with  him  was  a  good  idea,
but I guess we could see how things went.

“Smartass.” He shook his head and snickered

before closing my door and getting in the driver’s
seat. “Where to?”

I cocked a brow. “Are you going to actually

listen this time?”

“Yup! I’m at your mercy.” He smirked.
Thoughts of him truly being at my mercy—in

bed, underneath me—had me squirming in my seat.
I was sure I was blushing from head to toe.

“Are you okay, Missy?” He reached out and

brushed a lock of hair out of my face. “You look a
little flushed.” His genuine concern almost had me
burst out laughing; had he only known what was
going through my mind, but I held it in.

“Yeah, I’m fine, just hungry now that we’ve

been talking about it.” My stomach growled, and it
couldn’t have come at a better time.

We pulled into the parking lot of the diner, and

it hit me. “Oh my God.”

Sullivan whipped his head to me. “What?”
“I just realized something. You’re totally using

me to get out of decorating the house, aren’t you?”

He threw his head back and laughed. “Although

that is a huge added bonus, I’m most definitely not

using you for that. I am totally using you to keep
me company. I’ve enjoyed spending time with you
today, and I didn’t want the day to end.” He leaned
over and kissed my cheek sweetly before getting
out of the car.

I was shocked by his words, though I shouldn’t

be.  He’d  been  saying  little  things  lately  that  made
my  insides  warm  to  him,  but  I  was  trying  to  keep
my  cards  close  to  my  chest.  While  he  never  really
burned  me  back  in  the  day,  my  twelve-year-old
heart still felt the sting of his jokes.

I composed myself before he came around, and

I opened my door before he got to it. I couldn’t let
my heart really get involved with someone who
wasn’t there to stay.

e both ordered burgers and fries with
milkshakes. I hadn’t eaten here since high

school and had forgotten how great it was. Sullivan
surprised me at every turn. I hadn’t pictured mister
prim and proper eating a burger.

“I was surprised when you didn’t pick up a

knife and fork to eat your burger.”

His mouth hung open. “You’re kidding? Why

would anyone eat a burger with anything but their
hands?”

“I don’t know. You just seem so…stuck up. No,

proper I guess is a better word.” I shrugged.

“Do I really come across that way?” He seemed

insulted by my observation.

“I didn’t mean it in a bad way. It’s a shock

because when you left you were young, carefree, a
lot of fun. Now you’re grown up, like a real
responsible adult. It was just a bit of a shock is all. I
think in my head whenever I thought of you, you
were still the same guy you were back then.” I took
another sip of milkshake.

He hummed before commenting, “You thought

of me, huh?”

“Yes, unfortunately, the middle-schooler in me

couldn’t get over the high school version of you.” I
laughed, but he just sat there, staring at me with a
smirk on his face. I smacked his shoulder. “Oh, get
over yourself.” I rolled my eyes.

“So, your younger self couldn’t get over me,

and your current self basically thinks I’m a stuck-
up jerk? Do I have that right?” He was laughing at
me, but I knew it wasn’t maliciously.

“You’re slowly changing my mind on the jerk

part.” I didn’t look up to see his reaction, just kept
on picking at my fries.

We talked for hours about everything under the

sun before we finally called it a night.

Sullivan took my hand as we walked out of the

diner and looked down at me. “Raincheck on the

movies?”

“Yeah, we can go in another eight years. I’ll set

a reminder on my phone.” I laughed, but he didn’t.

The ride home was quiet. I couldn’t help but

feel like I’d ruined the night with my comment, but
who were we kidding, he wasn’t coming home for
good. He was probably only being nice because he
couldn’t stand to see someone grieving and was
trying to earn my forgiveness for being an ass back
in the day.

He pulled the car up right in front of the guest

house. Looking at the door my mood shifted,
although it wasn’t as bad as it was before we left. It
certainly was much more melancholy than it’d been
all day. I turned in my seat toward him. “Thanks for
taking pity on me today. I really did need to get out,
and it took my mind off things just like you’d
hoped. I won’t forget it.”

“Of course, anytime. But for the record, it had

nothing  to  do  with  pity.  I  wish  you’d  see  that  I’m
not  a  bad  guy.  I  really  wanted  to  spend  time  with
you,  and  I  had  a  great  time.”  The  sincerity  in  his
tone made my heart race.

“I don’t think you’re a bad guy, Sullivan.” I

smiled before getting out of the car and walking to
the trunk. I stood there, waiting for a minute, but he
didn’t get out of the car, so I went to the driver’s
side to see what he was doing.

He sat in the car, staring at the steering wheel,

so I knocked on the glass lightly, trying not to
startle him.

He snapped out of it and got out of the car.

“What’s up?”

“Would you mind opening the trunk so I can

grab the bags?”

“Oh.” His face fell. “Yeah, sure.”
I tried to carry the bags, but he insisted, and he

brought them inside for me.

After dropping them on the counter, he walked

to  the  door.  Turning  around,  he  hesitated  for  a
moment before speaking, “I had a really great time
with  you  today.  I  don’t  get  out  much.  I  usually
work  long  hours  and  just  don’t  have  time  to
socialize.”

I was actually shocked. “That is definitely

surprising. That’s not the Sullivan I knew.”

He smiled sadly. “I’m starting to find that

Sullivan again, and honestly, you have a lot to do
with that. I’d spent so much time focusing on work
that I lost the person I used to be.”

Sullivan’s words stuck with me that night as I

lay in bed; I couldn’t shake him from my mind no
matter how hard I tried.

SULLIVAN

hristmas Eve this year wasn’t going to be a
happy one. Since all arrangements had been

made in advance, we were having a small service
for Granny today. We had a small family, and
Granny’s circle of friends had dwindled with every
passing year.

I’d tried to check in on Missy to see how she

was holding up, but it looked like she was keeping
herself busy by helping out with the preparations.
I’d been moving around, politely greeting family
members that I hadn’t seen in a long time, many of
whom didn’t recognize me at first. It took a little bit
for the over the top exclamations to pass.

The morning service was beautiful. We

celebrated  Granny’s  life,  and  I  think  she  would’ve
loved  it.  Seeing  as  tomorrow  was  Christmas,  most
went home straight after to prepare for their dinners
or festivities. There were a few who lingered, but I
wasn’t  in  the  mood.  All  I  wanted  to  do  was  find

Missy.

I crossed the space between the house and the

guest  house  quickly.  The  lights  were  off,  but  I
knocked  anyway.  I  waited  for  a  few  minutes,  but
she  didn’t  answer.  I  turned  the  knob  slowly  and
called  out  to  her,  but  she  didn’t  answer.  As  I  was
closing the door, the faint sound of crying could be
heard. I followed the sound and found Missy in the
living room. I flipped on the light switch. “Are you
all right?”

“Turn the light off!” she shouted from her spot

on the sofa.

I immediately flipped it off and stumbled in the

dark, landing beside her on the couch. I reached my
hand out and began to rub small circles, trying to
calm her.

“I’m sorry I yelled at you. I didn’t mean to

snap. I just didn’t want you to see me like this,” she
said between sobs.

“It’s fine, but I’m sure you look just as beautiful

as you always do.” I pulled her in close to my side
and continued my soothing motions.

She blew out a breath. “Yeah, right. I’m sure I

look like a supermodel.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”
She laughed a little. “Honestly, I didn’t mean to

cry today. I thought today would be a happy day to
celebrate Granny’s life, but hearing everyone talk
about her was like ripping my wound wide open

again.” She curled up her legs and adjusted herself
to lay her head on my lap. “I just miss her so
freaking much, Sullivan. I’m sorry for blubbering.”

My eyes had adjusted to the darkness, and the

light  filtering  in  from  the  window  aided  in
highlighting  her  features.  I  brushed  her  hair  out  of
her  face.  “Hey,  don’t  ever  apologize  for  missing
someone  you  love.  Trust  me;  I  get  it.  You  miss
Granny  a  lot,  and  out  of  nowhere,  you  catch
yourself  just  crying  for  no  reason.  I  do  the  same
thing. I just sobbed in the bathroom before coming
to find you. I know I haven’t been around for quite
a  long  time,  but  she  was  my  Granny,  and  we  were
really close before I left. I miss her, too. It actually
makes me feel better that I have someone to share
in my misery.”

She laughed a little, and I could feel her

emotions were calming a little as she took some
deep breaths. “So, why were you looking for me.
Does your mom need help with something?”

I wasn’t sure what to say, so I spit out the first

thing that came to mind. “No, but I could use your
help.  You  see,  as  it  turns  out,  I  need  to  go  out  for
some  things  that  I  need  for  my  return  trip.  But  I
can’t  seem  to  remember  any  of  the  streets  around
here.  Hence,  I  came  to  find  my  favorite  navigator
in this town.” I didn’t need shit, but I wanted to be
with her.

She laughed again and sat up to look at me, and

I could make out the sad smile she had on her face.
“Although  I’m  really  not  up  for  going  out,  I
couldn’t,  in  good  conscience,  let  you  go  out  there
on  the  streets  alone.  You  wouldn’t  last  a  day
without me. Rural South Carolina can be a little too
much for you city folk. So, where are we going?”

I stood from the sofa and reached out my hand

for her to take. “Don’t worry, you’ll see.” I had no
clue where we were going, but since it was
Christmas eve, I knew there weren’t many places
that would be open.

I tossed her the keys, which she caught with

ease, surprising me. “Nice catch.”

“Thanks.” Her bright smile lit up the night as

she climbed into the car. Gripping the steering
wheel, she asked, “Where to?”

“Walmart.” I wasn’t sure what else to say and

figured it would be open.

Her nose scrunched up. “You shop at

Walmart?”

“Yeah, doesn’t everyone?” I shrugged.
I just wanted to get her out of the house and

smiling, so I was hoping Walmart would do the
trick.

The roads were clear as the weather had

warmed  some,  so  Missy  sped  down  the  streets  in
the  Audi,  handling  it  like  a  pro.  She  pulled  into  a
parking  spot  and  slammed  on  the  breaks  as  she
laughed. “Now that was fun.” She was smiling from

ear to ear. “Do you think I could drive a Nascar
one day? I hear they do something down in Florida.
That would be so much fun.”

The smile on her face made me want to buy her

an actual race car. I thought I’d do nearly anything
to make her beam like that. I was quickly realizing
how much Missy meant to me, and I wasn’t ready
to go back home. I needed to figure something out.

hadn’t done the Christmas thing in a long time,
and it felt good. “I don’t think I will let another

holiday go by without coming home, or at least you
could come see me. I’m sorry I stayed away for so
long, Mom.”

My mom reached out her hand to cover mine.

“It’s okay, sweetie. You’re forgiven. Let’s not dwell
on the past.” She looked toward Missy seated
beside me on the floor in front of the tree and then
back to me with a smile. “Let’s just look toward the
future.”

We’d all opened presents around the tree after a

big breakfast. My mom and Bridget disappeared
shortly after—claiming they had something to do—
leaving Missy and me alone by the tree.

I looked around the room and then back to

Missy. This holiday had started out a frantic

stressful mess. I’d had to say goodbye to one of the
most  important  people  in  my  life,  but  I’d  also
reconnected  with  my  mother.  Both  things  I  was
extremely grateful for. I had resigned myself to the
fact that I’d never fall in love, but I knew without a
doubt  that  was  no  longer  the  case.  I’d  spent  as
much  time  with  Missy  as  I  could  since  I  first
realized  she  was  the  same  Missy  I  knew  so  long
ago.  And  I  couldn’t  keep  her  off  my  mind.  At  this
point  I  was  pretty  much  convinced  I  was  in  love
with  her.  The  connection  I’d  felt  to  her  since  day
one  was  like  nothing  I’d  ever  experienced;  I  had
never  felt  like  this  about  anyone  in  my  entire  life.
All I wanted to do was be with her, it wasn’t about
sex—although I’d thought plenty about that as well
—it was about the connection we shared.

“You’re looking at me funny, Sullivan. Are you

all right?” She snapped her fingers in front of my
face, bringing me back to the present. “Earth to
Sullivan.”

“Sorry, I guess I was just daydreaming. What’s

up?”

Her eyes lit up. “Oh, daydreaming about

what?”

No way was I going to tell her what I was

thinking. “Nothing much, the beach mostly. Do you
like the beach?”

“Smooth there, Mr. Moore.” She giggled, most

likely knowing I was full of shit. “Yeah, I love the

beach. I don’t get out there much, though since it’s
so far.”

“You should come to visit me. I live right on the

beach. We could lounge by the pool or on the sand
all day.”

She drew her head back and scrunched up her

brows. “You’d actually leave the office?”

I pushed her shoulder playfully. “Don’t be a

smart-ass. You know I’d leave the office for you.”
I’d do anything for her.

“Well, I would love to then. Sounds fun.” She

smiled.

I spent most of the day with Missy, but she’d

decided to go take a shower before we had dinner. I
was walking past the living room after walking her
out when my mother called me into the room.

“Yes, Mom?”
She hadn’t looked up from the television in

front of her. “May I have a word?”

“Sure, what’s up?” I sat down in front of her on

the coffee table.

“Are you having a good Christmas so far?” She

turned to face me. “It seems like you are…enjoying
yourself a lot.”

“Yeah, I am. You say that like it’s a bad thing.

I’m happy to be home for Christmas and spending
time with you.”

My mom scoffed and then laughed at me.

“What do you take me for, boy? I know you and

Missy  have  been  spending  a  lot  of  time  together,
and I know she’s the reason you’re in such a good
mood.  Trust  me,  I’m  happy  for  you,  and  it  looks
like  she  makes  you  happy.  The  only  thing  I  ask  is
that you don’t lead her on. You know you’re going
home soon, and she’s going to be left behind again.
She’s like a daughter to me, Sullivan, and she’s lost
enough people in her life.”

If I weren’t her son, I was sure her wording

wouldn’t have been put so mildly.

“Mom, I promise I’m not leading her on; plus, I

haven’t even told her how I feel.” I shrugged.

“Ah, so you do like her.” She was smiling from

ear to ear.

“Come on, Mom, stop playing mind games.

Clearly you already knew that.”

She put up her hands in surrender. “Yes, I knew.

A mother always knows, but you are quite obvious.
We can tell by the way you look at her.”

“We?”
“Yes, Bridget can see it as well.” She chuckled.
I stood and kissed her forehead. “Gossiping is

for  high  schoolers,  Mom.  I’m  heading  upstairs  to
get  ready  for  dinner.”  Really,  I  just  wanted  to  get
out  of  there;  talking  to  my  mom  about  Missy  was
making me uncomfortable.

“I’ll see you in a bit, son.”

“I

haven’t eaten that well in years.” I sat back and
rubbed my stomach; I was extremely full.
“Bridget, you’ve outdone yourself.”

The four of us sat around the table after gorging

on the best Christmas dinner ever. I could barely
move.

“Thank you, Sullivan; that means a lot.”

Bridget was always so sweet, but she knew she
could cook a mean turkey dinner.

“We’re going to clean up. Why don’t you kids

go have a nightcap?”

I knew what my mom was trying to do, but she

also gave me a very stern look.

“My lady,” I said as I reached out my hand for

Missy.

She giggled but took my hand, and I led her out

the back door and to the guest house. I didn’t want
any prying eyes or ears when we talked.

Missy made us tea instead of whiskey as I lit a

fire.

“Well, I don’t know about you, but I’m wiped.

This holiday has been one of the craziest emotional
rollercoasters ever.” I slumped onto the sofa.

Missy came over and handed me a cup before

she sat down. “It really has been.”

I decided to just go for it. “So…” I took a deep

breath before continuing, “I’ve been thinking about
something for a couple days now. It’s about your
job situation. I thought that maybe what you need

most right now—apart from a job, of course—is a
change of scenery.” I paused, and she turned her
body toward me.

It was now or never, so I spat it out. “It may

sound a little crazy, but I thought you could stay at
my place while you figure things out.” I shrugged.
“I also made a few calls to some people that could
hook you up with a job at the hospital…if you
want.”

The silence was deafening as I waited for her to

say something. I couldn’t read her expression as
she stared at me.

“Are you serious?” This was it. She was going

to tell me I was completely whacked.

I nodded in response, not sure I could form

words. My heart was racing, and I was starting to
wonder if this was a bad choice, if she were to say
no, things would get weird really fast.

“Have you really thought about this? You’re

sure?” she questioned as she gaped back at me.

I nodded again, still not able to speak.
She sat there for a moment. “There’s not much

holding me here, so it’s not the worst idea. And I do
love the beach.” She laughed and some of the
tension in the room lifted. “I never do anything
without planning, but I think I’ll take a page out of
Granny’s book and say fuck it. Let’s do it.”

“Yes!” I hissed like a teenage boy who’d just

gotten his way.

“Slow your roll, Mr. Moore. When exactly do

you propose I make this move?”

“Tomorrow,” I said hopefully as I winced in

anticipation.

“What? Are you nuts? I hadn’t even planned on

leaving any time soon. I haven’t said my
goodbyes.” She sounded a little frustrated.

“Don’t worry. I’m sure my mom will

understand.” I tried to sound upbeat.

“Oh, right,” she said, the sarcasm dripping from

her words.

“She would. My mother is very understanding.

But I know this is all really sudden, so think it over.
In the meantime, I have something for you.”

“Oh God, I’m not sure I can handle a surprise

right now. However, I’m curious by nature, so what
is it?”

I pulled a box out of my pocket and handed it

to her. She placed her cup of tea on the coffee table
before taking it from me.

“Merry Christmas,” I said before holding my

breath in hopes she’d like it.

She looked up at me through her long lashes.

“What have you done this time? I’m not sure I’ll
ever be able to keep up with you.” She opened the
box, and the gasp that escaped her throat was like
music to my ears.

“Sullivan.” She covered her mouth with her

hand. “Oh my God. This must have cost you a

fortune.” She lifted it out of the box. “When did
you even find the time to get this?”

I grinned happily. “I got it the day we were at

the  mall  when  I  disappeared  for  a  bit.  I  saw  the
necklace  as  we  were  walking.  I  remembered  how
much  Granny  loved  the  snow,  and  you  seemed  to
love it, too. So, I had to get it. Do you like it?”

“It’s beautiful. Of course, I do; I love it.” She

couldn’t seem to keep her eyes off the diamond-
snowflake necklace.

She looked up at me. “I guess this means I

really have to move with you now, huh?”

We both laughed.
“Could you put it on for me, please?” She held

it out as she turned around. I brushed her hair out
of the way and put the chain around her neck, my
hand lingering on her nape.

“Thank you.” She turned around, her hand

caressing the snowflake where it lay on her chest.
“This means so much to me.” She reached out and
pulled me in for a hug, which I reciprocated
immediately.

Having her in my arms was quickly becoming

my favorite thing in the whole world.

MELISSA

t’d been five days since I’d moved to Port
Colborne with Sullivan. I wasn’t sure about

moving so fast, but after talking to Susan, she was
over the moon for me and agreed that it was a great
idea. I had someone pack up my most of my things
and ship it after we’d left, so that was stress-free.

We’d been having a lot of fun together. He

seemed to have enjoyed showing me around the
city. I couldn’t have asked for a better vacation
following Granny’s death.

I’d fallen hard for Sullivan but hadn’t dared let

it show. Well, at least, I hoped I hadn’t been
wearing my heart on my sleeve because my heart
couldn’t handle another loss.

There were times I thought he saw me as a

woman, and the way he looked at me spoke
volumes. But then there were times where I felt like
he was seeing me as a little girl that needed help
finding her way in life. Occasionally, I just wanted

to take the leap of faith and tell him how I felt
about him, but I couldn’t garner up enough courage
to do it. Things were perfect, and I didn’t want to
lose what we had, even though I wanted more.

It was December thirty-first, and I couldn’t wait

for tonight; I hadn’t been to a real New Year’s Eve
party  before,  and  Sullivan  had  invited  me  to  come
along  to  his  friend’s  place.  We’d  gone  dress
shopping  a  couple  of  days  ago  since  I  didn’t  have
anything  fancy  enough.  The  dress  he  helped  me
pick  out  was  beyond  stunning.  The  look  on
Sullivan’s  face  when  I  walked  out  of  the
changeroom  was  all  I  needed  to  know  it  was  the
one.

While he was at work today, he’d arranged for

me to get my hair and nails done. I couldn’t
remember the last time I’d spent a whole day on
myself, and it was even more special since Sullivan
had planned it.

I’d been so eager to leave that I was ready

early. Sullivan, on the other hand, took forever. I’d
never dated long enough to experience this, but I
swore it was common knowledge that men took less
time to get ready.

“Hey, Sullivan! Why don’t you continue taking

your sweet-ass time, and we might make it just
before the ball to drop.” I swear he took longer
than any woman I knew.

I stood in his bedroom, staring at myself in the

mirror; I had to admit, I cleaned up well. He
stepped out of the bathroom, looking smoking hot
in his crisp, white dress shirt and bow tie.

“It’s kind of ironic that you took all this time,

yet you stand there looking like it was effortless.
Men.” I shook my head as he laughed.

“Very funny, Ms. Addison.” He grabbed his

jacket  off  the  chaise  lounge  in  the  corner  before
putting it on. Standing before me, he paused. “You
are  stunning.”  He  leaned  in  and  kissed  my  cheek,
lingering  a  little  longer  than  expected  but  not  long
enough.

My insides clenched at the smell of his cologne.

I’m sure I was flushed all over when he pulled
away.

He put his elbow out for me to take. “We

should really hurry before we’re late.”

I rolled my eyes since I’d been telling him that

very same thing for over an hour now, but I wasn’t
about to waste my breath.

We exited the elevator into the lobby. “Ah,

right on time.” Sullivan squeezed my hand.

I looked up to see a limousine pull up, he’d

gone all out for the occasion.

There was a bit of traffic, so it took us longer

than  expected  to  get  there.  We  arrived  at  a  large
gate,  and  were  allowed  access  quickly.  The
driveway was long and winding, and the house was
stunning.  I’d  seen  some  big  houses  over  the  years,

but this was something you’d see in one of those
gossip magazines that a celebrity lived in.

Walking into that house, I was in awe. This

wasn’t a party; it was an entire affair. I wasn’t sure
that anyone could ever top this. When Adrian
threw a party, he really threw a party. The food and
wine were over the top and utterly delicious.

We’d had assigned seating for the party and

were seated with three other couples. Although I
knew we weren’t a couple, tonight, I’d decided I
could live in a fantasy world and make-believe.

We’d talked and laughed, enjoying the food and

drinks.  Sullivan  kept  his  arm  over  the  back  of  my
chair  and  constantly  showered  me  with  attention,
making it easy to play the part of his girlfriend for
the  night.  I  ate  so  much  I  was  surprised  my  dress
didn’t burst at the seams.

I was leaving the restroom and was stopped by

a  beautiful  woman  who  introduced  herself  as
Samantha.  I  remembered  Sullivan  mentioning  his
secretary’s  name.  We  talked  for  a  minute,  and
while  she  seemed  nice  enough,  I  couldn’t  help  but
wonder if Samantha was staking her claim. I didn’t
let it get to me. Tonight was my night with Sullivan,
and  I  wouldn’t  let  anyone  or  anything  ruin  it.  I
excused  myself  when  I  eyed  Sullivan  over  her
shoulder, who was motioning for me.

He reached out as I approached. “Dance with

me?”

I took his hand, and he led me to the dance

floor. “Like I’d ever deny you.”

Something in his expression lit up as his arms

wrapped  around  me  and  the  rest  of  the  world
melted  away.  We  stared  into  each  other’s  eyes  as
we  moved  around  the  dance  floor.  No  one  else
mattered in that moment.

Our trance was broken by everyone around us

counting down, but we stayed in each other’s arms
as they shouted down from ten.

We both joined in. “Five, four, three, two, one.

Happy New Year.”

Sullivan looked down at my lips and back up,

and I tilted my head in answer. He leaned in slowly
and gave me a peck on the lips before pulling back.
My  heart  broke,  knowing  that  that  was  all  I’d  get.
He  rested  his  forehead  on  mine  and  stared  at  me
before  closing  his  eyes  and  taking  a  deep  breath.
He then surprised me, leaning in again, pressing his
lips back to mine. The spark I’d felt every time he
touched  me  was  magnified  when  our  mouths  met.
The  kiss  was  like  nothing  I’d  ever  experienced.  It
was  soft  yet  frantic  all  at  the  same  time.  His  hand
ran  through  my  hair  and  gripped  the  back  of  my
head.  Meanwhile,  his  other  hand  drew  me  closer,
leaving no space between us. We were both careful
not  to  take  it  too  far  in  front  of  a  room  full  of
people, but it took all my willpower to resist.

Someone cleared their throat, bringing us back

to reality. “Do you mind taking it to a room or
something?” Adrian laughed.

We reluctantly looked away from each other

and over at Sullivan’s friend. My face must have
been a million shades of red. I wanted to ask
Sullivan what that was and if it meant something or
if we just got caught up in the moment.

Sullivan reached down and took my hand.

“Sorry, we got a little carried away.”

My stomach sank at his words, but I tried not to

show it. “Yeah, sorry.” I tried to pull my hand from
his, but he gripped me tightly.

He leaned down and whispered. “Where do you

think you’re going?”

Looking up at him, I tried to read his

expression. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say he
had lust in his eyes. I didn’t say a word, just
shrugged.

He reached out his free hand to Adrian.

“Thanks so much for having us. We’re going to
head out now.”

I whipped my head up with questioning eyes,

but  he  didn’t  look  my  way.  I  didn’t  want  to  go
home.  My  stomach  churned  at  the  thought  that
we’d  ruined  the  friendship  we’d  built  over  the  last
couple of weeks.

We made our rounds quickly as Sullivan said

short goodbyes, not once letting go of my hand. I
felt like I was going to hurl.

The drive back to his place was silent and

awkward,  but  I  was  glad  for  it.  I  wouldn’t  even
know  what  to  say.  Although  I  didn’t  want  to  ruin
what we had, I couldn’t even be sorry for the kiss.
It was amazing. My insides burned thinking about it
again. I crossed my legs to try to ease some of the
pressure  between  my  thighs,  but  it  didn’t  help.  As
much  as  I  shouldn’t,  I  wanted  Sullivan,  but  more
than anything, I wanted him to want me back.

We rode the elevator in continued silence. Once

inside  the  apartment,  Sullivan  locked  the  door
behind  us.  I  went  to  walk  away,  but  he  turned  to
me,  eyes  blazing  and  pinned  me  against  the  door.
My  heart  pounded,  completely  unsure  of  which
way this would go. With my back against the door,
I  had  nowhere  to  go.  He  placed  one  hand  on  the
door beside my head, and with the other, he ran his
finger  down  the  side  of  my  face,  continuing  it  to
trail down my side. Finally, his hand slipped inside
the  slit  of  my  dress  and  rested  on  my  thigh.  I  was
panting like I’d never been touched before, but if I
were  honest,  I’d  never  been  touched  like  this.  I’d
never felt like this.

Sullivan slowly leaned in, his lips a breath away

from mine. “Tell me now if you want me to stop.”

I couldn’t form a word, so I shook my head in

response.

“I need to hear it, Missy. Do you want this?”

His voice was gravelly and oh so sexy.

I managed to breathe out, “Yes.”
He wasted no time. He took my mouth with his,

and I opened for him, our tongues danced together,
and it was unadulterated perfection. Every stroke
and movement of our lips was slow and deliberate.
This was happening.

His hands gripped my ass, and he lifted me up

before pulling away. “Do you think we should take
this upstairs?”

Too caught up in the moment to formulate

words that might ruin the mood, all I could do was
nod. He didn’t waste a second. Sullivan carried me
to the bedroom, climbing the stairs quickly with me
in his arms. My heart was thumping, and I wanted
to scream at him to go faster. I wanted to feel him
inside me, and I didn’t want to wait any longer. I’d
already waited forever.

He slowly lowered me down and undid the

zipper of my dress. It fell to the floor in a puddle at
my feet, and I stood there completely nude. He
stared at me with a questioning gaze.

“The

dress

looked

better

without

undergarments, and I hadn’t thought anyone would
see me.” I shrugged. I tried to cover myself, but
Sullivan gripped my hands.

“Don’t hide from me.” He let go of my wrists

and stepped back, taking in every inch of my body.
“You’re…exquisite, gorgeous…perfect.”

I had always been self-conscious, even though I

worked out regularly and took care of myself. But
the way he was looking at me made me feel like I
was all those things and more. I felt empowered.

I stepped forward. “You’re way overdressed.” I

think even Sullivan was surprised by my brazenness
as his he cocked a brow.

I undressed him as fast as I could, wasting no

time. Once I was done, he immediately backed us
up until my calves hit the bed, and he gently laid us
down onto the mattress. The softness of his sheets
caressed my back as he hovered over me and stared
into my eyes.

“I’ve dreamed about this day.”
My eyes widened in shock at his admission.
“Why do you look so surprised?”
“I don’t know. I guess sometimes I thought you

had feelings for me, but other times, I felt like you
thought of me as your kid sister. Tonight, when you
said you wanted to leave the party, I thought it was
because you regretted the kiss.” I wasn’t sure what
else to say, but I wanted to be honest.

“I most definitely have not thought of you that

way  since  you  were  jailbait.  Since  the  moment  I
saw  you  again  after  all  these  years,  I’ve  done
nothing  but  think  about  you.  I  have  never  been
enamored  with  a  woman  in  my  life.  You’re
different.  I  want  to  be  with  you,  Missy,  in  every
way possible.” He paused for a moment. “This isn’t
about sex; this is about everything. I want it all with

you.”

I stared at him in shock. “I should probably tell

you something.”

“You can tell me anything.”
“I’ve never done this.” I was completely

embarrassed, but he needed to know.

“Honestly, I’ve never had a real relationship,

either, so we can learn together.” He smiled down
at me and slowly lowered to kiss me, but I had to
clarify.

“No, I mean this.” I indicated between us.
His eyes widened. “Oh.” He sat back on his

haunches and blew out a deep breath. “Well, I…are
you sure you’re ready? We don’t have to.” His
words solidified my decision.

“Yes, I’m sure. I wasn’t saving myself; it just

never happened. I was busy with Granny, and the
few boyfriends I’d had never got to that point.” I
shrugged.

“I can wait. I don’t want you to feel pressured.”

His smile was genuine, and I fell even harder for
him.

I got up and climbed on top of him, straddling

his waist. “Can we stop talking now?”

He didn’t say another word, just wrapped his

arms  around  me  and  kissed  me  senseless.  His  kiss
moved  down  my  neck,  and  I  threw  back  my  head
to give him better access. His lips found my nipple;
it  felt  amazing.  I  cried  out  as  his  teeth  grazed  the

peak,  and  he  licked  away  the  sting.  He  leaned  us
back onto the bed once again, and his kisses trailed
down  my  stomach  and  closer  to  where  my  body
was  telling  me  I  desperately  needed  him.  I  felt  his
breath  against  my  mound,  and  shivers  traveled  all
over my body.

I looked down to see him watching me.
“Has anyone ever touched you here, Missy?”
I shook my head, and the smile that graced his

lips  was  Cheshire  Cat  worthy.  He  pushed  my  legs
apart,  and  his  hand  traveled  up  my  thigh.  He
worked  his  fingers  through  my  juices.  I  could  hear
it, and I was mortified.

“You’re so wet, baby.” He slipped one finger

inside of me. “I love it.”

My insides quivered as he worked his finger in

and out before slowly adding another. “So fucking
tight,” he said through gritted teeth.

I watched him, fascinated by how he was

almost entranced by my body. It encouraged me to
let  go.  He  locked  eyes  with  me  as  he  lowered  his
face  to  my  pussy.  The  moment  his  tongue  touched
my clit, I nearly combusted. I fell back against the
pillow  and  closed  my  eyes.  I’d  never  felt  anything
like  it.  My  body  began  to  quiver,  and  when  he
curled  his  fingers  inside  of  me,  I  screamed  out  his
name as I exploded.

He kissed his way up my body, continuing to

move his fingers in and out of me while I rode out

the aftershock of my orgasm.

He stopped to hover above me. I had a goofy

grin on my face that matched his, and I couldn’t
care less. He leaned in and kissed me. I could taste
myself on his tongue, and it was the most erotic
thing I’d ever experienced.

“How was that?” he asked, seeming genuinely

curious.

“Amazing, I mean not that I have anything to

compare it to, but that was, wow.”

He laughed and kissed me again.
I wanted to touch him, so I did just that. I

reached  down  and  gripped  his  cock.  He  moaned
softly into my mouth, so I took that as a good sign.
I  softly  stroked  him  as  he  pumped  into  my  hand.
Knowing  I  was  making  him  feel  good,  spurred  me
on. “I want to taste you, too.” I went to get up, but
he stopped me.

“Not now, baby. I want to feel that tight pussy

around my dick.”

His filthy words had me wanting the same.

Sullivan always spoke very properly, but in the
bedroom, Sullivan was naughty, and I loved it.

I rubbed him against the wetness between my

thighs. I wanted him so badly.

He closed his eyes and dropped his forehead to

mine. “You’re killing me.”

His words urged me on. I pressed his head to

my opening. This would hurt, so I prepared myself

for the worst.

Sullivan stayed still, not allowing me to go any

farther. “I don’t want to hurt you,” he breathed out.

I honestly didn’t care. I just wanted to feel him

inside me. “I’ve heard it’s best just to do it quickly.
Like ripping off a Band-Aid.”

He chuckled. “Baby, I’m barely hanging on by

a thread here.” He pulled back to look at me. “You
tell me what to do. The ball’s in your court.”

“I want you inside of me—now.”
He dropped his head again. “Fuck…” He drew

out the word on a loud breath. “I want nothing
more at this moment.” He took another deep breath
and looked into my eyes. “Are you ready?”

I nodded.
“Relax as best you can, okay? Hopefully, it

won’t be too bad.” He kissed me softly. “I’m
sorry.”

I giggled at the thought of him apologizing for

taking  my  virginity,  although  I  knew  he  was
apologizing  for  the  pain  I  would  have  to  endure.  I
blew  out  a  breath  and  relaxed  my  body  as  he
pushed  forward.  I  grunted  out  my  discomfort.  I
wouldn’t  lie;  it  hurt,  but  it  wasn’t  as  bad  as  I’d
expected.  Sullivan’s  kisses  definitely  helped  ease
the sting.

Once he’d breached my opening, he stilled.

“Are you all right?” He kissed me again.

“I think so. It wasn’t as bad as I thought.” I

smiled up at him, trying to ease the worry lines
between his eyes.

He kissed me again. “Tell me when you’re

ready.”

“I’ve been ready.”
He took my mouth again and gripped my hip,

lifting my leg over his waist. He slowly began to
rock his hips back and forth. The sting was still
there, but it was bearable. Sullivan kept showering
me with kisses as he gradually picked up his pace.

He pulled back and gazed into my eyes. The

look  he  gave  me  said  so  much  more  than  words
ever  could.  In  that  moment,  we  were  all  that
existed,  and  I  knew  that  he  cared  about  me.  I
wasn’t sure I could label it love for him, but I knew
that  this  was  making  love,  not  just  sex.  In  that
moment, I fell in love with him.

groaned as I rolled over, trying to shield myself
from the blinding morning sun. My lady bits

throbbed  with  the  movement,  and  I  smiled  at  the
memories  from  last  night.  I  reached  out  to  feel  for
Sullivan, but his side of the mattress was cold. I sat
up  in  bed,  suddenly  paranoid  that  we’d  screwed
everything up. As I looked around the room, trying
to run through everything in my head, he walked in

the room, carrying a white tray. The smile on his
face eased most of my panic. I pulled the covers up
to my neck and waited with bated breath for what
he would say.

“Did you sleep well? I figured breakfast in bed

was called for, and plus, it is New Year’s, after all.
So what better way to start the new year?”

I stared at him blankly, not quite sure what to

say. My emotions were all over the place, from oh,
how sweet to it was just one night; don’t read too
much into it. I was about to say something, but he
beat me to it.

“Before you say anything, I would like to get

something off my chest if you don’t mind.” He sat
down beside me on the bed and set the tray down
on the nightstand.

I nodded in response as I grabbed the coffee,

thinking I was going to need caffeine for this
conversation.

“I know that I’ve hurt you in the past, and I’m

sure  you’re  wondering  if  last  night  was  for  real  or
just  a  one-night  thing.  I  want  you  to  know,  I  have
never  felt  about  any  women  in  my  life  the  way  I
feel  about  you  right  now;  the  way  I’ve  felt  about
you  ever  since  I  first  saw  you  again  after  all  these
years.” He dropped his head, shaking it. “Ugh, I’m
horrible  at  this  stuff.  All  I’m  trying  to  say  is  that
I’m head over heels in love with you, and I hope to
God that you feel the same way about me.”

I sputtered and choked on my coffee that I’d

just sipped when he said the L-word. He took the
cup from my hand and placed it beside me as I
regained my composure.

“Are you all right?” His voice was laced with

concern.

I nodded, trying to clear the frog from my

throat. I felt like I was still dreaming. I’d basically
loved him for half my life. Of course, most of it was
from afar, but now he was real and here, right in
front of me, and he just told me he loved me.

“Say something, please.” He rested his hand on

my knee and waited for my response. It was a no
brainer.

I reached up and stroked his cheek just to feel

him and make sure he was, in fact, real. “I love
you, too.”

“Oh, thank God.” He let out a loud whoosh of

breath as his face lit up with a bright smile, and he
nearly pounced on me to kiss me senseless.
“You’ve made me the happiest man alive.”

He had no idea what hearing him say those

three little words had done to me. My world felt
complete.

SULLIVAN

couple of days after New Year’s, we’d
returned to Smithville to get the few fragile

boxes that Missy wanted to move herself. She had
now been moved in with me for a few weeks. She’d
gotten a new job at the hospital. Things were great.
I couldn’t imagine my life without her in it. I loved
every minute of having her around. She brought out
the best in me. I was happier at work, and I enjoyed
life so much more. I took more vacation from work
and spent all my time at the house away from
anything business-related. I could only hope that I
was doing the same for her.

My mother had even come out to visit. She

thought  she  was  a  matchmaker,  and  even  after  we
pointed  out  that  she  had  nothing  to  do  with  it,  she
still  insisted,  so  we  gave  up  trying  to  convince  her
otherwise.

It was Saturday morning, and Missy was

slipping on her shoes. “Where are you headed? I

was hoping to go to lunch today.”

“I’m sorry. It was a last-minute thing. I’m

meeting Joyce to check out some apartments.”

My stomach dropped at the thought of her

leaving. “What? Why?” Of all the responses she
could’ve given me, that one was so far out of left
field.

Missy hadn’t shown any indications that she

wasn’t happy.

I crossed the room and took her hands in mine.

“Did I do something wrong?”

She giggled. “No, of course not. It’s just that it’s

time.  We’d  agreed  I  could  stay  here  for  a  little
while until I found my own place. It’s been over a
month.  I’m  beginning  to  feel  like  an  intruder  in
your  life.  You’ve  helped  me  so  much,  moving  to  a
new  city,  finding  a  new  job,  and  I’m  extremely
grateful. But at some point, one begins to overstay
their welcome; don’t you think?”

Her voice was calm. She wasn’t mad or upset.

She  truly  felt  like  she  was  interfering  in  my  life
when  all  I  felt  was  like  she  enhanced  it.  I  never
wanted  to  go  back  to  life  without  her  in  it  every
day.

She kissed my cheek and headed for the door.

“I’ve got five to see, so hopefully one of them is
the one.” She smiled sweetly.

I stared at her blankly. This had to be a joke. I

thought about the ring that was in my dresser

drawer. I’d had it for two weeks now. It was now or
never. I didn’t want to lose her. I clearly needed to
show her that I not only loved her, but I needed her
and wanted her by my side forever.

“Wait right there. Don’t leave yet.”
She laughed at my urgency. “Okay, but hurry. I

don’t want to be late.”

I ran to my room and grabbed the ring before

turning on my heel and heading back out, sliding to
a stop in my socked feet right in front of her. I
looked down at her, and all my confidence went out
the window. Every thought imaginable ran through
my head. I shut it all down and took a deep breath
before getting down on one knee.

Missy laughed and tried to pull me up. “Get up,

silly. What are you doing? I don’t have time to mess
around.”

I looked into her eyes in hopes of showing her

just how serious I was. “I’m not messing around.” I
reached into my pocket to pull out the black velvet
box and opened it.

Her gasp was audible as she covered her mouth

with her hand.

“Melissa, you’ve become my first thought

every  morning  and  the  reason  I  rush  through  my
afternoons. You make me a better man in so many
ways,  and  I  can’t  imagine  a  day  going  by  without
you  there  with  me.  I  hate  that  you  felt  like  you
were  intruding  in  any  way  because  it  couldn’t  be

further from the truth. You are my life, and I want
you in it forever. Will you marry me?”

The tears streamed down her face as she tried

to  compose  herself.  She  was  smiling,  so  I  hoped
that  was  a  good  sign,  but  the  anticipation  was
killing  me.  I  stayed  there  for  what  felt  like  an
eternity before she finally spoke.

“You don’t want me to go? Like…ever?”
I burst out laughing and stood so I could touch

my girl. I cupped her face with my free hand. “No,
baby, never. I want you by my side for the rest of
my life.”

“I guess I should call Joyce and cancel, huh?”

She smiled.

“Is that a yes?”
“Of course, it’s a yes. You’re my childhood wet

dream. I swear if I could have had a poster of you
like a celebrity I would have. Having you as my
husband is a dream come true,” she sing-songed.

“Phew. I was getting a little worried there for a

second.” I slipped the ring onto her finger and
kissed her hand. “I love you. You’ve made me the
happiest man alive.”

“I love you, too.” She leaned up and kissed me,

and I picked her up to twirl her around.

MELISSA

ver since Sullivan proposed, it had been quite
the whirlwind of activity. Most would’ve

thought we were moving too fast, but when you
know, you know. We couldn’t imagine our lives
without the other one in it, so why wait?

We’d decided on a small evening ceremony on

the  beach.  We  invited  a  handful  of  Sullivan’s
friends,  who’d  slowly  become  mine  as  well  as
Susan  and  Bridget,  of  course.  I  didn’t  need  a  big
wedding.  I  just  wanted  to  be  Melissa  Moore,  and
today we’d made that happen.

We were waving goodbye from the limo,

leaving  everyone  in  the  sand  as  we  headed  to  the
airport  for  our  honeymoon.  Sullivan  had  planned
the  short  vacation.  I  was  still  fairly  new  to  the
hospital  and  couldn’t  get  much  time  off  work,  so
we were only able to get three days away, including
the wedding. I had no clue where we were heading,
but I knew once we got to the airport, he couldn’t

keep much from me.

I looked down at my boarding pass, a little

surprised to see Las Vegas was the destination, but
I’d never been there. Since I’d be with Sullivan, it
would be amazing, no matter what. “You know I’m
already your wife, so we don’t need to run away to
Vegas.”

“Very funny. Aren’t you going to ask me a

million questions as to what we’re going to be doing
in Vegas?” He raised a brow.

“Nope, I trust you.” I hugged his arm and rested

my head on his shoulder as we sat in the first-class
lounge. “I’m really excited to see what you have in
store for us.”

We touched down in Las Vegas at nine at night,

completely wiped from the day’s activities.

“As much as I’d love to explore with you, we

should really get to bed and get some rest. We have
somewhere to be tomorrow afternoon.” He looked
at me expectantly.

“Thank God you said that. I am so not up for

much right now. I’m completely exhausted.”

The Cosmopolitan hotel was out of this world.

The room overlooked the fountain, and everything
was over the top luxurious. I wasn’t sure how much
he’d spent on this, but I knew it was a lot.

He’d taken care of every little detail, including

packing. I picked up the bag that he’d packed for
me and placed it on the bed. I unzipped it and

pulled out the first thing I found. Lifting each piece
in a hand, I twirled the black-and-white-checked
fabric in the air. “Ummm…”

Sullivan looked up from where he stood and

smirked when he saw what I was holding. “That’s
sort of a hint for what we’re doing here and a little
wedding gift to myself.”

The lingerie was adorable, and I couldn’t wait

to  see  his  face  light  up  when  I  put  it  on.  But  I
couldn’t  for  the  life  of  me  figure  out  what  sort  of
hint it was, and then it hit me. “Oh God, please tell
me  we  aren’t  going  to  see  showgirls.”  I  rolled  my
eyes,  wondering  if  it  was  such  a  good  idea  to  let
him plan a trip at all.

He burst out laughing as he sidled up beside me.

“No, baby. Now go put that on,” he said as he
slapped my ass to get me moving.

I grabbed my bag of toiletries and went to the

bathroom to freshen up and put the undergarments
on. I had to admit, he knew my size as they fit me
like  a  glove.  I  rummaged  through  my  bag,  looking
for  my  face  wash,  toothbrush,  and  perfume  but
noticed  one  important  thing  was  missing.
“Sullivan?” I shouted.

He peeked his head and instantly looked me up

and down. “Yes?” He didn’t make eye contact as
he stared at my body.

“I think some things are missing?”
“Oh?” He looked up at me innocently, a little

too innocent, if you asked me. “What’s missing? I
grabbed everything from the bathroom that I know
you use.”

“I think you missed something.” I slapped his

shoulder. “Like my birth control!” I said a little too
loudly.

“Oh, that?” He rolled his eyes. “I didn’t forget

that. I left it where it belongs.”

“Umm, where is that?” I jutted out my hip as I

put my hand on it.

“In the garbage back home.” The smile on his

face was so big, but he stepped back, dodging my
next swing.

“Are you crazy?”
“Nope.” He stepped forward and pulled me into

him, running his hands down my sides. “I want to
have a baby or five.”

My eyes went wide at his words.
“Baby, don’t act so surprised. We’ve talked

about this. We both want a big family.”

I blinked at him. I didn’t think he would want

kids so soon. Of course, we’d talked about it, but I
figured I would be the one to bring it up a few times
before he caved.

He kissed me before slapping my ass again.

“Now, hurry up. I think we should start trying
tonight.”

I stood there stunned but was overcome with

emotion. Everything I’d ever wanted in life,

Sullivan was giving me. After the initial shock wore
off, I couldn’t wait to get out there. I finished
freshening up as the butterflies took flight in my
belly. Dreams really do come true.

I walked out of the room to find Sullivan had lit

some candles and was lying there in just his boxers,
which left nothing to the imagination.

He looked me up and down. “As much as I love

you in that set, lose it; I want to see you.”

I stripped out of the bra and panties as he

watched  my  every  move.  I  stood  there  for  a
moment completely nude, so he could look his fill. I
knew what he liked, and ogling me was high up on
his  list.  My  mouth  watered  as  I  caught  sight  of  his
cock thickening in his boxers, so I started my slow
crawl  up  the  be—my  sights  set  on  one  thing  and
one thing only.

I licked my lips as I made quick work of tugging

his  boxers  down  his  thighs.  I  gripped  his  cock  and
leaned over, making eye contact with Sullivan as I
did.  His  eyes  were  already  heavy-lidded,  and  I’d
barely touched him. I loved the effect I had on him.
I  licked  him  from  root  to  tip  and  then  ever  so
deliberately took him to the back of my throat.

“Fuck…” he drew out the word as he gripped

my hair.

I smiled around his dick as I watched him

slowly come undone. Just when I thought he
couldn’t take anymore, he pulled me back by my

hair roughly. I grinned, knowing he was hanging on
by a thread.

“Come here.” His command had my juices

nearly running down my thighs as I crawled up his
body and straddled him.

“You want this pussy?”
His cock twitched at my words. I’d become a

lot braver in the bedroom, and he loved it when I
talked dirty to him. I rubbed my wetness up and
down his shaft.

His hand still gripped my hair, and he pulled my

mouth down to his. “I want to fill that pussy with
my come.”

My insides clenched, and I wasted no time.

Lifting up, I gripped his cock and sank down all the
way to the hilt. He loosened his grip on my hair as I
threw my head back in ecstasy.

Sullivan gripped my hips as I rocked them back

and forth like a woman on a mission. He moved his
hands and began slow circles on my clit with his
thumbs. Before long, we were both falling over the
edge as we cried out in pleasure.

I collapsed on top of him, breathless.
“That was definitely baby-making sex. I bet

you’re pregnant already.”

I laughed at his ridiculousness. “You’ve lost

your mind. Do you know the probability of my
getting pregnant today? About one percent; I took
my pill this morning.”

“I have super sperm; we’re making that baby or

maybe even two or three.”

I didn’t have the energy to argue right now. I

was beat, so I just laughed at him.

After a beat, he slid out from under me. “I’ll be

right back.”

I hummed in response, too tired to respond. He

came back with a warm washcloth and cleaned me
up.

“I love you.”
He was the sweetest.
“I love you, too, baby.” He kissed my forehead,

and that was the last thing I remembered before I
passed out.

The smell of coffee woke me from my sleep. “I

don’t think I could love you any more than I do
right now,” I mumbled into my pillow without even
opening my eyes.

Sullivan’s deep chuckle rumbled from beside

me. “Good morning, beautiful.” He kissed my head.

I rolled over and noticed that he was already

dressed.

“What time is it?” I asked as I picked up the

mug on the tray beside the bed.

“Nine.”
“Wait, Vegas time?” I needed clarification.
“Yup.”
“Holy shit, I haven’t slept that long in years.” I

stretched, allowing the sheets to fall to my waist

and took a sip of my coffee.” I moaned; it was
amazing.

Sullivan leaned over and took a nipple into his

mouth.  I  leaned  back  against  the  headboard,
pushing  my  breasts  out  for  him.  He  rolled  over
between my legs, spreading me wide. I enjoyed my
coffee  as  best  I  could  as  he  lapped  at  my  clit,
bringing  me  to  orgasm  quickly.  He  knew  all  the
right buttons to push.

He crawled up my body as he licked his lips.

“Awake now?”

“Mmmhmm.” I gripped his shirt, pulling him

toward me and kissing him senseless.

“I can’t wait for your surprise today; it’s going

to be so much fun.” He smiled.

“I’m so excited. When do I find out what it is?”

I couldn’t wait.

“When we get there.” He winked before

pushing himself off the bed, taking the sheets with
him. He stared at the apex of my thighs.

I dropped my legs wide open, thinking maybe I

could entice him to tell me. My hand drifted down
my body and between my legs, rubbing the juices
that seemed to be a permanent fixture when
Sullivan was around. “Are you sure you don’t want
to tell me?”

He bit his lip as he watched in a trance. “I’m

sure, but I think I’m going to bend you over and
fuck you hard for trying to get it out of me.”

We’d spent the entire morning in bed until

lunch arrived, and we ate in bed before finally
getting ready for my surprise.

He had me put on the bra and panties that I

didn’t get any use out of the night before as well as
jeans,  a  T-shirt  and  my  converse.  I  had  no  clue
where  we  were  going  with  us  both  dressed  so
casually,  but  my  stomach  was  doing  flips  in
anticipation.

When we pulled up to the Las Vegas Motor

Speedway,  I  was  both  confused  and  thrilled.  I’d
never  seen  a  race  before,  so  this  would  be  an
awesome  experience.  We  climbed  out  of  the  car,
and Sullivan took my hand.

“Any idea what we’re doing here?” he asked as

we walked.

“I thought we were going to see a race, but

since there aren’t many people here, I assume
that’s wrong.”

“Definitely wrong.” He turned to me with the

biggest smile on his face. “We’re going to drive a
real Nascar race car.”

My mouth hung open as I stared back at him.

“You’re kidding?”

“Nope.” His brows furrowed. “You don’t have

to if you don’t want to.”

“What? Of course, I want to. Holy shit!” I

jumped into his arms as I screamed. “Woohoo. I
have the best husband ever!” There weren’t many

people around, but the few that stood around were
laughing at me. I didn’t care; I was going to drive a
race car.

We sat through a driver meeting with the crew

chief  for  training  and  instructions.  My  knee  was
bouncing even more, knowing that we got to drive
the car alone, and there was no lead car. We could
pass each other and everything. Sullivan had sprung
for  the  forty-eight-minute  experience,  which  was
the  longest  available  so  we  could  get  up  to  top
speeds. I was so nervous, but I couldn’t wait. This
was  something  I’d  always  wanted  to  do,  and  as
usual,  my  amazing  man  was  making  my  dream  a
reality.

Being behind the wheel was like nothing I’d

ever  experienced  before,  the  adrenaline  coursing
through  your  veins  at  over  five  thousand  RPMs.
My legs were wobbly as I climbed out through the
window. Sullivan walked over, and I threw my arms
around  him.  “Thank  you.  This  is  the  best
honeymoon ever.”

“I’m so glad you had fun. I was a little worried

when I first told you that you weren’t excited.” He
kissed me, and I melted.

We went to see Cirque du Soleil after dinner.

I’d watched the videos online, and it didn’t do it
justice in the least.

By the time we got back to the hotel, it was

nearly ten.

“I have a surprise for you.”
“Oh, I love your surprises. They’re always

amazing.” It was true. Since his first gift of the
necklace to today, he was amazing at surprises.

He handed me an envelope. “I know how

bummed you were when you couldn’t get time off
work.” He didn’t say anything else as I took the
envelope.

Inside there were two tickets to Iceland for

June. I looked up at him. “But how?” I wasn’t able
to get more than a couple days off until I’d been
there a year.

“Look at the date again.”
I checked again and realized it was over a year

away.

“I know it’s a long time to wait, but I figured

the baby would be—”

I put my hand up to stop him from speaking.

“The baby? I think you’re getting a little ahead of
yourself, don’t you?”

“Nope. The baby will be old enough to stay

with my mom by then, and I’ve already booked the
time off work for you.”

“You’re insane, but I love you.”

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

I'm a huge lover of Hallmark Christmas movies and
had always wanted to write something along those
lines.

I had so much fun to writing Sullivan and

Melissa's story, and I hope you enjoyed reading it.

Thank you to....

Give Me Books for being awesome and

accommodating as always.

Bloggers, you guys are the best!
All the readers who took a chance on my cozy

Christmas romance.

Stephie, thanks whore for always listening to

me bitch and moan and helping make my stories the
best they can be. Love you skank.

And of course my family for putting up with my

absenteeism. Love you all.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

I'm a feisty redheaded Canadian/American who fell in love
with romance novels when my friend Phil bought me a Kindle
that hasn't left my side since.

My favorite books to read are anything taboo and super sick
and twisted. I'm not sure I will ever write anything dark, but I
would love to give it a shot one day.

I live in South Florida with my high school sweetheart and
three kids.

I grew up in Burlington, ON, Canada but made the move to
South Florida in 2013 and definitely don't miss the snow.

I'm not sure where this writing journey will take me but either
way, I know it will be a fun new adventure, and I'm super
excited about it.

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