Triumph

PartSixinthe

BellatorSaga

CeciliaLondon

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Wherelibertyis,thereismycountry.

BenjaminFranklin

ChapterOne

Funny,thethingspeoplerecall.Carolineneverpaidmuchattentiontoappearancesbutremembered

thelittletouches.ThejewelryJackgaveher.Theweddingbandthathungaroundherneck.The

accessoriesChristinewouldpairwithheroutfits.Thewayasongorsmellorphrasecouldpokeata

memorylongsuppressedandbanishedtotheoutermostreachesofthesoul.

Shepulledthewatchoutofherpocket,runningherthumbovertheface.TomSullivanalwayswore

it.Always.EvenwhenplayingpickupbasketballwithJessandJackinhisbackyardorontheindoor

courtatJack’sestate.Afoolishthingsinceitwasanexpensivetimepiece,buthedidn’tcare.

Carolineturneditoverinherhand,readingtheinscriptionontheback.

ToTommy.Happyfiftiethbirthday.Allmylove,Dr.Spencer.

Ifshetriedvery,veryhard,shecouldignorethemockingvoiceechoingthroughhermind.Thetone

Murdockusedwhenhereaditoutloud.Affection,love,anddemonstrationsofeitherofthemweretrifles

tothatman.Awhirlpoolofemotionsswirledinherhead,threateningtopullherintotheundertow.

“Ibelieveyourchildrenarestillalive,”Powellrepeated.

Aterriblething,toloseachild.Anunspeakabletragedy.Thekindthatengenderedasympathetic

glancefromadetachedonlooker,maybeahalfheartedattemptatacondolence.Carolinehadbeenslowly

processinghersorrowforthepasttwoyears,andnotinthehealthiestofways.Powellwasofferinghera

lifeline.Oryankingheraroundagain.Itwaslikelythelatter.

Fuckkeepingcontrol.Shewasn’tabouttoletgrieftakeoverbutangercouldsureashellspringtothe

surface.Therewasnowaythismanwasgettinganothergoddamntearoutofher.“Iheardyouthefirst

fuckingtime,”shesnapped.

“Youdon’tseemallthathappytohearit,”hesaid.

Nomatterwhatshedid,somethingalwaysdraggedherbackintothemuck.Carolineremained

smotheredinthefearthathereffortstoclingtosanitywerefornaughtandsoonthethreadtyingherto

realitywouldbestretchedtightenoughtosnap.Powellwasawalkingdeception,aswampoftreachery.

Heknewherweaknesses,hadknownthemallalong.Andhewasexploitingthem.

“You’relying,”shesaid.

“I’mnot.”

Likeitwasthateasy.Likethey’dformedthesortofrelationshipwheretwotinywordscould

somehowovercomehours,days,weeksoftorture.HereyesdriftedtowardSchroeder,whowasleaning

againstthewall,tappinghisfingeragainsthislips.Fuck,hewasnohelpatall.Shewasonherown.Her

assistantwasn’tgoingtojointhisbattle.Notwhenhehadnodoginthefight.Hewouldn’tintervene

withoutgoodreason.Hewaswatching,listening.Analyzing.Heknewwhattobelieve,didn’the?He

couldn’tpossiblybebuyingthisharebrainedstory.

“WhyshouldIbelieveyou?”Carolineasked.

Powellsatupstraighter.“Ihavenoreasontodeceiveyou.”

“Youhaveamillionreasonstolie,yourlackofcharacterchiefamongthem.It’slikelytheonlyway

youknowhowtocommunicate.”

“That’snottrue.”

Hewincedalmosteverytimehespoke.Hewasuncomfortable.Carolinespottedabottleofpainpills

onthekitchenisland.Shewastemptedtodumpthemonebyonedownthedrain,justtorelishhis

reaction.“Youcouldn’thavesurvivedatTheFedwithoutbeingadevious,slimylittleworm.Andnow

you’replayingthattuneagain.I’mnotgoingtolisten.”

“Youshould,”hesaid.

Ah,thetoneofamanwhohadoncetastedthehoneyednectarofuncheckedauthority.Caroline

recognizeditwell.She’dhearditfromcops,fromelectedofficials,fromherowndamnhusband.

Fromhertorturers.

Powellhadpinnedherrightarmbehindherback.Wrappedhisfingersaroundherthroat.Toldher

he’dsnapherneckifshedaredevenbreatheinthewrongdirection.SmirkedhisassoffatFischeras

Murdockpulverizedthebonesinherlefthand.Whentheyreturnedhertohercell,she’ddreamtofsweet

revenge.

Herthoughtsblendedtogether,blurringthelinebetweenrealityandfantasy,hermindracingwith

darkillusionsofwhatshewoulddotohercaptorsifshewerearmed.

She’dshootMurdockintheshoulderfirst.Justtowatchhimbleedbeforedecidingwheretofocus

herattentionnext.Maybepistolwhiphimsoheknewwhatitfeltlike.Theguardswerebigonthat

particulartechnique.Oh,andshe’dneedastilettoheeltogrindintothewound.Shelikedthatidea.A

lot.Itwasdrippingwithirony,thekindhe’dneverappreciate.

She’dgougeFischer’seyesoutwithherfingernails.Kickhiminthegroin,overandover.Hithim

withhisowngoddamnbaton.Callhimamotherfuckingsweetheartwhileshedidit.He’dhatethat.

She’dcutoffPowell’sballswithaknife.No,adull,rustyrazorblade.Snaphisarmintwo.Anice

compoundfracture,theblooddrippingdownfromtheboneashepissedalloverhimselffromthepain.

Seehowhelikeditthen.

Thenshe’dmoveontolesspleasantthings.Thingsshe’donlyreadaboutinhorrornovels.

Terriblewaysofsufferingthey’dnevercontemplatedbefore.Sheenjoyedimaginingherrevenge.

Makingthemallscreamandbegfortheirmommies.Adjustingherplansjustincasetheyfuckedupher

otherhand.Shestillhadherlegs.Herfeet.Herteeth.Thereweresomanythingsshecoulddotothem

ifsheonlyhadthechance.

Shecouldtosshispills.Getridofthatsoftpillowinhisbedroom,thesheets,theblanket,themany

modernconveniencesthatmadehisunpleasantexistencelessintolerable.Grabsomethingniceandsharp

fromthebutcherblockandrockitteasinglybackandforthinfrontofhim.Renderhimimpotentwithone

stab,onehack,onewell-placedknifetoss.Noonewouldjudgeherforit.

Exceptshe’dneverbeabletolivewithherselfifshefollowedthrough.Goddamnedconscience.

“You’renotgettinganotherminuteofmytime.I’mout.”Shespunaround,motioningtoward

Schroeder.

“Wait!”Aplaintivecry.Howpitiful.“Please,”Powellsaidquietly.“Pleaselisten.”

Hewantedsomething.Hecouldn’tbebenevolentifhetried.“Why?”

“BecauseIneedyourhelp.Surelyyoucanrespectafairtrade.”

She’dbeenlivingalargelyemptyexistenceforalmosttwoyears,plaguedbymemoriesoftheloved

onesshe’dleftbehind.Theonesshe’dseendie.Andheconsideredhisliesfairtrade?

“I’mnotheretobarterwithyou,”Carolinesaid.

Hestareddownathishands.“You’reabetterpersonthanyouthinkyouare.”

Flattery.Gettinghimnowhere.“IknowexactlywhoIam.You,thankfully,donot.”

“Youworkedforjusticeandfairnessyourentirelife.Youbelieveinhope.Andyouwon’tletgoifa

shredofitremains.”

Oh,fuckhim.HemusthavereadwhateverpsychologicalanalysisTheFedhaddoneonher.Butshe

wasweary,toofocusedonnotlettinghervengefulthoughtsmanifestintoaction.She’dhumorhimfor

thirtyseconds,tops.“Yourpoint?”

“You’releavingforTheHaguesoon.”

Hadn’tanyonetoldhimhewasalongfortheride?Whatastrangetransition.“Iam.You’regoing

too.”

“IassumeI’mnotafriendlywitness.”

“Youarenot.”Carolinetappedherfootonthefloor.“You’reapotentialdefendant.”

“You’regoingtoprovidetestimony.Notjustaboutme.Abouteverything.”

They’regoingtoknowexactlyhowdeplorableyouare,yes.“Probably.”

“They’lllistentoyou.”

Ofcoursetheywould.“Iassumeso.”

“You’lltellthemwhatyousawmedo.”

Jesus,hedidn’thavethegutstocomeoutandsayit,didhe?Whatafuckingfailureofaman.No

wonderhewassogoodattakingunconstitutionalorders.“Youwantthemtogiveyouconsideration,and

youwantmetohelp,”Carolinesaid.

“Agoodwordcouldn’thurt.”

Sheknewtheprocess.TheICCreserveditsprosecutionsforthemostculpableactors.Powell’s

involvementbarelywarrantedanentryinSantos’sadisticcatalog,andthetribunalwouldn’tdomuch

exceptreferhimtolowercourtsforcharges.

Buthedidn’tknowthat.Therewerebeadsofsweatonhisforehead,anditwascoldintheroom.

Powellwasterrifiedthetableswouldturnandhe’dbetheoneinadarkcell.Carolinecouldplayhim

likeafiddleifshewanted.“Ihavenogoodwordsforyou.”

“Youcouldfindafewifyoutriedhardenough.”

Wasn’theaneagerlittlebeaver.Shecouldn’ttellifhewassuckinguporaskinghertoperjure

herself.“Youwantmetotellthemyou’reaniceguy?”sheasked.“Thatyou’remisunderstood?Thatyou

didn’tholdmedownwhileMurdockshatteredmyhand,thatyoudidn’tparticipateinpsychologicaland

emotionalanddisgustinglypersonalphysicaltorture?I’mgoingtotellthemthetruth.”Carolinefingered

thewatchagain.“Ifthisinformationwassoimportant,whydidn’tyoutellsomeonetheinstantyou

showedupintheinfirmary?Youwereinterrogatedforhours,right?”

Powellloweredhisgaze.“Yes.”

Good.Heshouldbeashamed.“Andduringallthattime,somehowthiscriticalbitofintelescaped

yourrecollection?”

“Ididn’t–Iwasconfused-”

“Bullshit.Youwereholdingitbackuntilyouneededit.Yourconsciencemustbecompletelyclear

now.”

“Soyoudobelieveme.”

“Ididn’tsaythat.”

Powellsighed.“Idon’tblameyoufornottrustingme.Doesitdoanyharmforyoutocheck?You

wouldn’tbetalkingtomeifyoudidn’thaveaninklingthatI’mbeingstraightwithyou.”

Damnhimforreadinghersowell.Unlesshewasguessing.Brokenclockswererighttwiceaday.“I

don’tknowwhattobelieve.”

Hestruggledtoadjusthissittingposition.Hisdiscomfortwasevident.“Youdon’towemeanything.

AllIhaveareapologiesandtheydon’tcountformuch.IdidwhatIhadtodo.Itriedtomakeupforit.”

Oh,thatwastherichestloadshe’dheardinawhile.“Bywhat?Downloadingafewfilesontoaflash

drive?BeingsenttosomebullshitresthomeinNevada?Howmanyotherprisonersdidyoutorture?Did

youpullthetriggeronanyofthemorleavethattoFischer?Tellme,Mr.Powell.Tellmehowyoumade

upforthelivesyouruined,forthelivesyoutook,forthelivesyoucontinuetodishonordaily.”

Hehunghishead.“Ihaven’t.I’llneverbeabletorepentforthedamageI’vedone.IfIcanreunite

youwithyourfamilymaybeIcanfeellikeIdidsomethingworthwhile,youknow?”

Toobadhehadn’ttoldherthatmonthsago.Toolittle,toolate.Butshe’dhavetheirmenreassess

theirintelligence,makecontactagainwithafewoftheirCanadianinsiders.No.Thatwasn’tenough.

She’dhavetogotoOttawaherselftoinvestigate.Powellknewtoomuchforittobeacompletelie.

“Maybe.”CarolinegesturedtowardSchroeder.“Ithinkwe’veheardenough,don’tyou?”

Hestraightened.“Isupposeso.”

Powellstoodupandwalkedovertoher.“Commander-”

Schroederleaptforward.“Don’tmove.”

Powellcouldn’tdomuchdamage.Notwithoutherstrikingfirst.“It’sokay,Captain,”shesaid.“Let

himspeak.”

Theinjuredmanshiftedhisweight.Maybeshecouldgiveaquickstriketohisankle,seeifitwas

enoughtomakehimfall.Wasthatconductunbecominganofficer?Probably.

Powellgrimaced.Hewasinpain.FuckhimtenwaystoTuesday.Hedeservedit.“Ma’am,Ijust-”

Deference.Thatwassomething.Toobadhechokedonthewords.“Yes?”

“Ididn’tintendtobeahero.”

“Good,”shesaid.“Becauseyou’renot.”

“PleasecheckonwhatItoldyou.Ipromiseit’sworthsomething.”

She’dhavetoseewhatSchroederthoughtoftheirexchange.“Iwill.”

“AboutTheHague-”

“Untilweleave,theconditionsofyourhomearrestremainthesame.”

Powelllookeddisappointed.“Understood.There’sjustonemorething.”

Shearchedaneyebrow.“Goahead.”

“Doyouthinkyoucaneverforgiveme?”

Shewasn’tsurewhythequestionrankledher,butitdid.Moresothananypejorative,anyinsult,any

physicaldamagehecouldhavedone.She’dspentmonthsbeingapersonshedespised,apersonshedidn’t

recognize.She’dalmostdestroyedhermarriage,convincedshewasn’tgoodenoughforthemanwho

spenteverydaytryingtoprovethatshewas.Forgivehim?Washeoutofhisgoddamnmind?

Thecloseproximitywastoomuch,theimpulsetoorawandreal.Shebroughtherkneetohisgroin

andPowelldoubledover.

“No,”Carolinesaidshortly.ShetiltedherheadatSchroeder,whomotionedfortheguardstohelp

theirprisonertohisfeet.“Let’sgo.”

“Didyouhavetokickhim…there?”Schroederaskedoncetheygotbacktotheoffice.

“Oh.Yousawthat?”

“Imighthave.ImightalsoforgetIdid.”

FastandlooseSchroederwasherfavoriteversion.“Maybekneeingmenintheballsshouldbemy

signaturemove.”

“I’mnotsurethat’sthekindofconductweshouldencourage.”

“Ididn’tpunchhim.”

“Yes.Thereisthat.”

Carolinelaughed.“Don’tworry.I’mnotgoingtodoittoyou.”

“Iwasn’tworriedaboutthat.”Hepaused.“ShouldIbeworriedaboutthat?”

“You’refine.”Sheglancedaroundtheroom.“Jack’snothereanymore,huh?”

Schroedergrabbedapieceofpaperoffhisdesk.“Saysheleftfortheday.”

Nodoubttodosomethingromanticandwell-intentionedforher.Shefeltalittleflushofguiltfor

goingtoseePowellbehindherhusband’sback.Nomatter.She’dbeabletoexplainitwellenough.“What

didyoumakeofthatconversation?Doyouthinkthere’sachancemychildrenareinCanada?”sheasked.

Hesatdown,kickinghisfeetup.Damn,acoupleofmonthsandhewasclosetobeingdownright

casualinherpresence.“Ithinkthere’ssomethingtoit.”

“CanyougetustoOttawa?”

“Icanstreamlinetheprocess.I’msurewecansetupameetingwiththePrimeMinister.Thetimeis

right,andtheICCinvestigationmaygiveyouonemoreweaponinyourdiplomaticarsenal.”

Thatwastheleastofherconcerns.ShewantedtogetherasstoCanadarightfuckingnow,thoughshe

knewdamnwellthatdoingitwithoutgoingthroughtheproperchannelswouldspelldisasterfor

everyone.No,shecouldn’tbeimpudent.Shecouldbepatient.Maybe.“WhatdoyouthinkJackwillsay?”

Schroedersmiledwryly.“IsuspecthewillnotbequiteasinclinedtobelieveMr.PowellasyouorI.

Andhewon’tbethrilledaboutourfieldtrip.”

Denialwasjustaseffectiveanavoidancetacticasanger.“Imayhavetoworkalittlemagic.”

“Areyoupreparedtoaccepttheoutcomeofanyinvestigationiftheanswersaren’twhatyouhope

themtobe?”

“Rightnowwedon’thavemanyanswers,”shesaid.“Justalotoftheoryandguesswork.”

“True.Frankly,itmakessenseforyoutogotoCanadaanyway.Theycouldbeourbiggestally,

particularlyiftheU.N.getsonboard.”

Ah,yes.Shehadforgotten.TheU.N.SecurityCouncilwastakingahandintheICCinvestigation.

Goodnewsfortherebellion.OncetheU.N.wasinvolved,theyapprovedjurisdictionforanypotential

chargesagainsttheSantosAdministration.Supportforlegalproceedingscouldmeansupportfortroops,

training,weapons…thepossibilitieswereendless.

“Maybewecanendthiswarwithoutfiringashot,”shesaid.

“Ihopeso.”Schroederloggedintohiscomputer.“IassumeCommanderMcIntyreisexpectingyou.

Perhapsyou’dbettercallitaday.”

Subtle.Andappreciated.Herassistantearnedagoldstarforhisparticipationintheday’sevents.

“Seeyoutomorrow,Captain.”

ChapterTwo

“Youdidwhat?”

Theconversationwasnotofftoagoodstart.“Youheardme.IvisitedPowell.Schroederwaswith

me.”

Jackslammedhisbriefingbookdown.“Oh,he’sgoingtohearaboutthis.”

Theirassistantwouldbefine.Heknewhowtostanduptohisboss.“Jack,listen,”shesaid.“Powell

insistedIseehimwithoutyou.Ihadafeeling-”

“Caroline,yourfeelingsshouldn’tdictateyourbehaviorwithregardtothatman.”

“Oh,really?”sheasked.“Isthatwhyyoubeathimtoapulpthelasttimeyouwereinthesameroom?

Ican’timaginewhyhewantedtoseeonlyme.”

“Fine.”Jacksatdownonthecouch.“Whatdidhesay?”

Howcouldsheexplainitwithoutsoundinglikeshewasoffherrocker?Especiallywhenshewasn’t

sureshebelievedPowellherself?ShegaveJacktheshortversion.Hisresponsewasimmediateand

predictable.

“He’slying,sweetheart.”

Thelittlevoiceinherheadwassayingthesamething,butshewasn’treadytolisten.“Youdon’t

knowthat.”

“OfcourseIdo.He’smanipulatingyou.”

Lying.Manipulating.EverythingJackwassayinghadcrossedhermindrepeatedlyonthewalkback

totheirapartment.“Idon’tthinkheis.”

“Howdoyouknow?”

CarolinewantedtobelievePowell,sobadlyithurt.“Hetoldmethingsonlysomeonewith

knowledgeofthesituationwouldknow.”

“Meaning?”

Sherestedherforeheadagainsthischeek.“Hetoldmeaboutashootout.Aboutbodiesthatwere

recovered.”Sheletoutashakybreath.“ThedescriptionshegavematchedTomandJess.”

“Onlytwo?”

“Onlytwo.Theyhaditemsof…importancewiththem.”

“Couldyoubeashademorespecific?”heasked.

“RememberwhenItoldyouTheFedhadproofthegirlsweredead?TheyrecoveredmyMarquette

scarfandbluehippofromwhereTomandJesswerelocated.Lateron,Murdockshowedthemtome

duringaninterrogation.AtthetimeIthoughtitmeant…somethingdifferentthanwhatitmaymean.

Powell’sstorychangeseverything.”

“Thiscouldbeastunt.OnelastlittlejabasagiftfromMurdock.”

She’dhadtimetothinkonthewalkhome.TryingnottoobsessoverCanada.Ponderingwhatthe

weatherwaslikeinearlywinterinOttawa.Debatingifbrazenirresponsibilityshouldtrumpcommon

sense.Wonderingwhethershewaschasingapipedreamorgraspingatimaginarystraws.

ButthecompunctioninPowell’svoice.The–dareshesayit?–sincerity.Shedidn’tgetthe

impressiontheirprisonerhadeverbeenabigfanofhissupervisor.Hismotivationswerefarfrompure,

buttheyweren’texactlycalculatingeither.Theemotionalthirstcoursedthroughhersoconsistentlyit

madeherheartache.“Idon’tgetthatimpression.Thepiecesfittogethersoperfectly.”

“Tooperfectly.”

Jackhadalwayssupportedher.Beensoforgiving,soloving.Whywashebeingsorecalcitrant?

“Whydon’tyouwanttobelievethis?”sheasked.

Hepressedhislipstoherforeheadbeforespeaking.“You’vebeenthroughsomuch,Caroline.Made

somuchprogress.Andthisbastardopenshismouthandputsyouonaroadthatforcesyoutorelivethe

griefandagonyyou’vebeentryingtoprocess.He’sslashingatwoundsthathaveneverproperlyhealed.I

don’twanttoseeyousufferingagain.”Heswallowedhard.“NordoIwanttogothroughitmyself.”

Carolineclosedhereyes.Trusthimtobelogical.Tobringherbackdownwhenshe’dstartedtorise

again.“There’snoharminchecking.”

“We’vechecked,sweetheart.Multipletimes.”

“IwanttogotoCanada.Rightnow.”

Hisexpressionchanged.“We’releavingforTheHaguesoon.No.”

FuckTheHague.Nothingelsematteredifherchildrenwerealive.“WecangotoOttawafirst.”

“Notwithouttheproperdocumentation.Youwanttocrosstheborderillegally?”

Asiftheycouldn’ttalktheirwayoutofit.“Yes.”

Jackslidherontohislap.“WehaveneveruncoveredasingleindicationthatthegirlsareinCanada

oranywhereelse.Noactivityontheaccount.Nonothing.”

Shehadtogivehimcredit.She’dstartedtogetworkedupandhehadn’trespondedinkind.Tokeep

hercalm,nodoubt.Carolinetookadeepbreath,focusingonthehereandnow.Usingthemostreliable

methodthathadsoothedherinthepast.Shetriednottothinkaboutthehippoandthescarf.“Maybethey

missedsomething.”

“Theydidn’t,”hesaidgently.“Youhavetoletthisgo.”

Shedidn’tknowmuchabouthowhe’dgottentoCalifornia.Maybenowwasthetimetoopenthat

door.“Didyoudoanysearchingyourselfwhenyouwereupthere?”

Jackloosenedhisgrip.“Thatdoesn’tmatter.Noneofouragentsfoundanything.”

Socagey.Notagoodsign.Maybeherserenitywasn’thissoleconcern.“Whatdidyoufind?Didyou

searchforthenamesonthepassports?Inthelocationswe’dagreedon?Whatdidyoudowhenyougotto

Ottawa?”

Heslidawayfromheronthecouch.“I-”

Evasivenessandphysicaldistance.Notgoodatall.“Whatisit?”

“Youdon’tknowmuchaboutmyjourneyhere.”

“Ididn’tfeelcomfortableasking.Youdon’thavetotellmeifyoudon’twantto.”

“IpurposelyavoidedOttawa.”Jackrubbedhisneck,thecolorflushinghischeeks.“Ididn’tfindout

aboutthegirlsuntilIgothereandhadourintelligenceguyscheckwiththeirsourcesinCanada.”

Carolinetouchedhishand.Hehadn’tlied,notreally.Buthehadn’tbeentruthfuleither.“Youhad

themcheckthepassports?Thenames?Thelocations?”

“Yes.Therewasnothingtobefound.Noteventhesecondtimearound,whentheydidtheirbestto

digdeeper.”

“Whydidn’tyoutellme?”shewhispered.

Jackstillwouldn’tlookather.“Icouldn’tfacethem.BackthenIassumedthey’dalreadymadeitup

there.”

“SodidI.”

Heblinkedseveraltimes.“Ithoughtouragentswouldfindthem.Thatthey’dbringthegirlsto

CaliforniaalongwithTom,Jess,andChristine.Andwe’dfindoutwhathappenedtoyou,andyou’dbe

safetoo.”Hetappedhisfistagainsthislips.“NothingworkedoutthewayIhadplanned.Stupid,silly

dreamstheywere.”

“Theyweren’t,”Carolinesaid.“Webothheldontohope,andthelastthingweshoulddoistrivialize

thepoweritgaveus.”

Heshookhishead.“Therewasnowaytoexplain–I’dleftyousittinginthesnowseriouslyinjured

soIcouldgetaflashdrivetoarebellionweweren’tevensurewasthere.Icouldn’t-”

Shedidn’twanttohearthis.Notwhentheyhadsomuchmoretodealwiththanthemistakesofthe

past.“Jack-”

“Itwasfreezingthatnight,”hesaidquietly.“FormonthsallIcouldthinkaboutwashowcolditwas,

howfrightenedyoulooked,howmuchofagoddamnpussyIwasforleavingyouthere.Therewasnoway

IcouldlookourchildrenintheeyesandtellthemI’dlefttheirmothertodie.”

Hishandsweretrembling.Carolineputherarmsaroundhim.“Youneedtoletthatgo,darling.You

wouldhaveneverleftifwehadanyotheroptions.”

“IsworetothemIwouldtakecareofyou.ThatI’dprotectyouandgetyoutotheminonepiece.I

couldn’tfacethat.Facethem.”Heletoutabitterlaugh.“Andyouknowthere’snowayinhellI’dbeable

totellChristinewhatI’ddone.”

Carolineputherheadonhisshoulder.“Theymightbeoutthere.Maybewemissedsomething.We

havetogotoCanadaourselves.”

“Caroline-”

Couldn’thesenseherurgency?Didn’theseethesamethingsshedid?Weretheylivingincompeting

realities?“Maybetheydidn’twanttobefound.Didyouthinkofthat?Especiallyifweweren’ttheones

doingthesearching.”

“Sweetheart,noteverythingisaconspiracy.”

Itsuredamnwellfeltlikeit.Theuniverseseemeddestinedtocolludeagainstthemateveryturn.

“Youdon’tunderstand.IfwhatPowelltoldmeistrue,Chrissywouldn’thavemadeiteasytotrackthem

down.Shewouldhaveknowntostayhidden,tostayoutofdanger.Youknowshewouldhavedone

anythingtokeepourchildrensafe.Wehavetotry,Jack.Please.”

“Thoseareanawfullotofnecessarycoincidences.Idon’twantyoutoholdontothingsthataren’t

there.”

Whatwaswrongwithhim?“Don’tyoucare?Whydon’tyouwanttobelievethis?”

Heclenchedhisfist.“Iamconcerned.Iwanttobelieve.ButIcan’thopethewayyoucan.Ithurtstoo

muchtohavefaith.”

Maybehisclaimsofoptimismandgoodhumorweren’tasgrandashethought.Hissanguinitywas

couchedinsomeseriouscynicism.“Butyouhavehopesfortherebellion,right?”

“Icanwishthingsforotherpeople.Wishthingsforyou.ButthisisonethingIcan’tquitebelieve.

Notyet.”

Self-preservationwasunderstandable.Whatacruelparadoxthatitcameatherexpense.“We’ve

neverbeenabletofindclosure.Maybethere’sareason.They’reoutthere.Iknowit.”

“DidyoutellPowellanyofthis?”

Herhusbandknewbetterthantoaskherthat.“Iwasalittlebitchytohim.Ididn’twanthimtoknow

he’dtouchedanerve.Ialsokneedhimintheballs.”

Jacklaughed.“Ofcourseyoudid.Goddamn,Caroline.”

“Idon’tsupposeitsoundsevenremotelyconvincingifItellyouitwasanaccident?”

“Notintheslightest.Justtrytokeepyourrageincheck,allright?”

Carolinewasgettingbetterattemperingherreactionsbuttheslightestprovocationfromthewrong

personcouldsetheroff.“Wehavetotry,Jack.Ihavetoknow.”

“Allright.Butwe’regoingtoTheHaguefirst.Wecan’ttraveltoCanadauntilwehavetheproper

documentation.It’stoorisky.”

Muchasitpainedhertoadmitit,hewascorrect.Crossingtheborderillegallywasn’tthebestwayto

pleadtheircase.She’dhavetopracticepatience.“Schroederisonit,”shesaid.

“We’llgettoOttawa.Ipromise.IassumePowellwantssomethinginexchangeforthisabsurd

claim?”

Shecoulddodgethequestion,butwouldn’tgetfar.“Hewantsconsiderationifhetestifiesagainstthe

peoplegivingtheorders.That’sall.”Carolineleanedback.“He’dgetthatregardless.Whynotexploitit

ifwecan?”

Jackcaressedhercheek.“Idon’twantyoutogetyourhopesupfornothing.”

Hedidn’ttrustPowell.Hedidn’ttrustanyone.Truthbetold,neitherdidshe.ButshetrustedJack.

Andshetrustedherinstincts.“Iwon’t,”shepromised.“Butifthere’sachance-”

“WewillgotoCanada,butwe’lldoitright.SetsomethingupwiththePrimeMinister,makeitafull

diplomaticmission.Howdoesthatsound?”

She’dtakewhatshecouldget.“IguessIcanlivewiththat.”

Jackkissedherforehead.“Inthemeantime,maybeyoushouldtalktoDr.Haddad.Itmighthelpyou

wrapyourheadaroundthings.We’llgetthetrutheventually,Caroline.Ipromise.”

Hewasn’tquiteonboard,butshehadacoupleofweekstoconvinceJacktoseeherperspective.A

coupleofweekstoprocesseverything.Maybeevenacoupleofweekstohavemorethanafewvisits

withNatalietohelphergetby.Thenthey’dbeontheirwayoutofCaliforniaandtowardtheirfuture.“If

Schroedercangetusvisas,Icanwait.”

ChapterThree

Carolinehadn’tvisitedwithNatalieoften.Notrecently,anyway.Althoughitwouldhavebeen

healthierforhertodescribetheirvisitsaswhattheywere–regulartherapysessions.She’dbeensoupset

atPowell,soadamantwithJack,thenretreatedintoaweirdsenseofcalm.Itdidn’tfeelright.Whenin

doubtandwithinternationaltravelonthehorizon,she’dletDr.Haddaddotheanalyzing.

“Idon’tknowwhat’swrong,”Carolinesaid.“EverythingcomescrashingatmeandIpracticallyhave

abreakdown,butinsteadofdealingwithitIblockitout.Likeit’snotreallyhappening.Powellbeingone

ofmyattackers,thegirls,everything.Iknowit’sadefensemechanismbutIcan’tkeepshuttingitdown.It

makesitimpossibletofunctionwhenIhavetolead.Ihavetobeawareofmysurroundings.Ihaveto

be…me.”

“Ofcourse,”Nataliesaid.“You’vebeenprotectingyourself.You’rejugglingabunchofheavy

conceptsatthesametime.Areactionaryresponseiscompletelyexpected.You’vehadtoadjusttoanew

normalmultipletimes,andyourpsychehasresisted.Youhavetodealwithitinawaythatdoesn’t

damageyoufurther.”

Howlongagohaditbeenwhenfeelinggoodwasthedefaultinsteadoftheunattainable?“Doyou

thinkI’mevergoingtobemyselfagain?”

Natalieshrugged.“Ican’tgiveyoutheansweryouwant.Whoyouarechangesovertime.”

“TherehavebeentimeswhenIdon’tmuchcareformybehavior.”

“Isupposethat’sasignthattherealCaroline,whoeverthatis,isinsideyousomewhere.It’salsoa

signyoushouldstopkickingmenintheballs.”

Huh.Thathadgottenbacktoher.ThankGodshewasn’tlecturingCarolineaboutit.“So,whatdoI

do?”sheasked.“I’mengaginginrecklessconduct.Actingout,lettingmyminddrift,gettingsetoffbythe

slightestthing.It’snothealthy,especiallywhenIhavetoactcompetentlyforthenearfuture.”

“It’snotapermanentsolution,butyouneedsomethingtogetyouthroughthenextfewweeks.Maybe

longer.Compartmentalize.Pickyouremotionalbattles.Concentrateonthetaskathand.Iknowit’shard

nottothinkaboutyourkids,orworryaboutthelongterm,ordriftintothepast,butyouhavetobe

singularlyfocusedonyourtestimonyoryou’llcauseyourselfevenmorestress.”

Inotherwords,Carolineneededtocalmthefuckdown.“Isthataclinicalopinionorapersonal

one?”

“I’mbasingitonmyassessmentofwhoyouusedtobeandwhoyouarenow.Youcouldhandleallof

itifyouhadnootherchoice,butyouhaveoptions.Don’tpowerthroughwhenyoucanglide.You’re

allowedtoslowdown.”

“It’shard,”Carolinesaid.“IwanttoruntoCanada.Ineedtoknowthetruth.”

Nataliepattedherhand.“Youwillknow.Butyoucan’trushupthere.Youhavetotakecareofafew

otherthingsfirst.Paceyourself.You’vewonquiteafewbattlesbutthisisstillawar.Andno,that’snot

anallegoryforanythingelse.”

Likehell.“Liar.”

Natalietookoutaprescriptionpad.“Ithinkitwouldhelpifyouwereonsomethingforafewmonths.

You’llbetravelingandunderagreateramountofstressthanusual.Justpromisemeyou’lltakethemin

moderation.”

She’dbeabletohavefuzzyflightsinsteadofgettingworkedup?Seemedlikeagreatdealtoher.“I

promise.”

Nataliehandedhertwosheetsofpaper.“Somethingforanxietyandsomethingforyourfearofflying.

Theyshouldhavebothoftheseatthepharmacyinthehospital.”

Doubledrugs.Goodygoody.Carolinepocketedthem.“Itakeabunchatonetimethenchasewith

whiskey,right?”

“Don’tstart.Oh,andIknowthisgoeswithoutsayingbut…becareful.Please.Nothingstupid.”

Likeshe’dbeabletoagreetothatwithastraightface.“IsolemnlyswearIwilllistenwheneverJack

saysI’mactingirrationally.Doesthatwork?”

“Fornow.Onceyougetbackherewecantakethenextstep.Focusonyourtestimony.Nothingelse.

Youcan’tcontrolthoseotherthingsanyway.YoucancontrolyourbehaviorinEurope,cancontrolyour

languageanddemeanor.Enjoyyourselfifyou’refeelinguptoit.Useeverythingelseasmotivation.A

reminderwhyyou’redoingallofthis.”Sheheadedtowardthedoor,apparentlyfinishedwithhersermon.

“Ifnothingelse,justthinkofhowI’llyellatyouifIdiscoveryouhaven’tbeenfollowingmyvery

professionalandmedicallysoundinstructions.”

Carolineleanedinforahug.“Yoursenseofhumorisfartoomuchlikemine.ButIloveyouanyway.”

Nataliekissedhercheek.“Safetravels.Gogetyourmeds.”

Ittookanothertwoweeksofwranglingbeforetheiroverseasadventurewasfinalized.Aprivate

planeprovidedbytheCaliforniaRepublic.Additionalsecurity.AdirectflightfromSanDiegoto

AmsterdamwithanescorttoTheHague.Drivers,bodyguards,travelallowances…everythadbeen

crossed,everyidotted.Schroederdeservedaraise.

CarolinehadshownTom’swatchtoJack,thenplaceditinthedrawernexttotheirmostprecious

mementos.She’dtakeitoutfromtimetotime,staringattheinscription,rollingitoverinherhand.

Checkingtomakesurethetimewascorrect.

Itseemedwrongtoleaveitbehind,knowingwhatitsownerhadgonethroughinorderforittoendup

inherpossession.AninehourdifferencebetweenSanDiegoandTheHague.She’dneedsomethingto

helpkeeptrackofherschedule.Shepluckedthewatchoutofthedrawerandadjustedthehands

accordinglybeforeshovingitintoherrucksack.

Theanxietymedicationhadn’treacheditsfulleffectivenessbutitsoothedher,madeiteasierforher

topracticecompartmentalization.Atemporarysolutiontoapermanentproblem.Thetranquilizersshe’d

beenprescribedwereanicebonus.Carolinehadalreadytakenoneofthemandwasfeelingprettydamn

relaxedasshefinishedpacking.

She’dneedbusinessclothes.Dresses.Shoes.Apurse,sincemanufacturersofwomen’ssuitshadn’t

figuredouthowtoputdamnpocketsinthethings.Somethingotherthanbootsandauniform.Casual

outfitsweren’tanissuebutshehadtolookmoderatelypresentableforherinterviews.Despiteher

apprehension,atriptoEuropewastheclosestthingtofreedomshe’dhadinyears.Theircoverstorywas

simple:ananniversarytriptothecontinent.Howdelightful.

Jackplacedherweddingbandinherhand.“Ithinkweshouldwearourringswhilewe’rethere,”he

said.“Purelytofuelthesubterfuge.”

“Yeah,”Carolinesaid.“It’snotbecauseyou’reoddlyromantic.”

“Itwouldbetooobviousforyoutowearyourengagementringorthatanniversaryband.Muchtoo

flashy.”

“I’mgladyouadmittedthatyourtasteinjewelryisabitextravagant.”

“Mydiscriminatingeyeisnotevenclosetobeingoverthetop.Butthatengagementringis

recognizable.”

“Stopbeinglogical.”

“Areyougoingtogivememineornot?”

Shecouldhavesomefunwiththis.Herhairwasstillblond,purelyforconveniencewhiletraveling,

andJackhadgrownabeardandobtainedgreencontacts.“WhatifI’dratherbeamarriedwomancarrying

onanaffairwithherhandsomeolderlover,whohasnoqualmsaboutparadingherscandalous

extramaritalrelationshiparoundwhilewearingherweddingbandinpublic?”

“Oryoucouldgivememyring.”

Whataspoilsport.Sheremovedthechainfromaroundherneck.“You’dbetterwearitthewhole

damntime,though.”

Heslippedtheringontohisfinger.“IfIlikeitwellenoughyoumaynotgetitback.”

Shehadtoadmit,thatgleamingplatinummadehimevenmoreattractive.“Anyotherpiecestoour

carefullycraftedplan?”

“Ournewpassports.Schroedergavethemtometoday.”

“So,we’recitizensofCalifornianow?”

“Mr.andMrs.O’Malleyare.”Jackreachedintohisbackpocketandhandedhertwopassports.

“MichaelAlfredO’Malley,”Carolineread.“HowBlackIrishofyou.And…DianaMarie

O’Malley.Youdidn’tlikemyfakeFrenchsurname?Pascalsoundedsocultured.”

“Ithoughtmaybeitwouldbeokayifwecouldcontinuetheruseofahappilymarriedupperclass

couple.Withthesamelastname.”

PoorJack.Helookedsouncomfortable.“YouthoughtI’dbemad,didn’tyou?”

Hefiddledwithhisweddingband.“Maybe.”

“Didyoumeanourhappymarriagewasaruse,ortheupperclasspart?”

“Ionlymeantthesamelastname.”

“That’ssoendearingforyoutobeconcernedaboutmyfeelings.”Sherummagedaroundtheroom.

“Where’sthatSimonedeBeauvoirbookIborrowedfromNatalie?Ithastobearoundheresomewhere.I

knowIstillhavethatonebyBettyFriedan.”

“Caroline-”

“IthoughtIcoulddosomelightreadingontheplane,”shesaid.

“Yousureyoudon’twantmetodosomelightreadingontheplane?”

Thatcouldworktoo.Shegavehimalittlehugtolethimknowshewaskidding.“It’sfine,Jack.It’s

charming,actually.”

“It’snotlikethisisalegalnamechange.You’restillCarolineJoanGerard.”

Shesatdownonthebed.“Doyouthinkthisisgoingtowork?”

“Idon’tseewhynot.We’renottravelingthroughAmericanairspace,wehaveironclad

documentation,wehaveplentyofmoney,andI’vebeengrowingthisdamnfacialhairfortwoweeks

now.”

“Don’tforgetthosemagnificenteyeglassesandcolorcontactsyou’llbewearing.”

“Don’tremindme,”Jackgrumbled.“Ifpeopletalkusupinpublic,we’reacouplefromSanDiego

visitingTheNetherlandsforacoupleofweeks.Anicejaunttothecontinenttoreconnect.Wewon’t

volunteerthatinformationbutwillshareifprodded.It’snotlikefolkshavestoppedtravelingcompletely,

especiallybetweenCaliforniaandEurope.”

Heseemedtohaveitcovered.Ifthatsituationarose,she’dlethimdothetalking.“Iplanonbeingas

aloofaspossible.”

“Iplanonbeingthepossessive,jealoushusbandwhodoesn’tlethiswifespeaktostrangers.”

“IthinkIhaveabookonmenwhoaretoocontrolling.Maybethat’stheoneyoushouldread.”

Hezippedhisbag,tossingitnexttothedresser.“Veryfunny.”

“Wehavetobecareful,Jack.Wedon’twanttobememorable.Weneedtobebenign.There’sa

chancesomeonecouldrecognizeus.”

“Thenwe’llhavetomakeourmovementsquietlylikeanynormalmarriedcouple,passive

aggressivelynottalkingtoeachotheroranyoneelse.Butthat’sneitherherenorthere.How’sthat

tranquilizerworkingforyou?”

Nataliedidn’twanthertooverusethembuthell,theysureworked.“I’minagoodplace.Mightpop

onetomorrow.Easierformetonapontheflight.”

“Iwasgoingtoslipsomethingintoyourdrinkifyougottoochatty.”

“You’remean.”

“Youloveit.”Jackkissedhercheek.“Areyounervous?”

“Abouttheflight?”

“Abouteverything.”

“That’saprettybroadquestion.”

“You’vebeenonthosepillsforacoupleofweeks.How’sthatgoing?”

“Ifeelalittlemore…evenedout,ifthatmakessense.Haveyounoticedadifference?”

“Youseemcalmer.Thatdoesn’tprecludenervousnessaboutnormalthings,right?”

No,itdidn’t.Butitmadeitaloteasierforhertomanagehercompetingstressors.“I’mnervousabout

flying.Nervousabouttestifying.Nervousaboutwhatcomesafterthat.RightnowI’mtakingitonedayata

time.”Carolinesmiled.“That’sallyouget.”

“Yougavemequiteabit,”hesaid.“I’mgoingtodowhatIcantodistractyouandmakethistripas

enjoyableaspossible.”

TheCaliforniaRepublichadgiventhemasmallallowanceforclothes.“Wehavetodosome

shopping.Iknow.”

“Morethanthat.Ioweyoutwoyears’worthofcompletelyunnecessarypresents.”

Sheknewhowtotranslatethatstatement.“Jack,youhaven’ttouchedthataccount.”

“Igotasmallloan.Favorableterms.Nopointinhavingmoneyifwecan’tenjoyit.Justincase-”

Hecarefullyexaminedhisfingernails.Oh,thatwasalittleominous.Didhethinksomethingwas

goingtohappen?Wasthistheirlasthurrah?Maybehecouldbenefitfromsomepharmaceuticalassistance

aswell.

Hisresponsewasn’tentirelyunpredictable.Bothofthemwerepronetoit–they’dbehavingabright,

almostfluffyexchangeandrealitywouldcreepintotheroom,burrowingintotheirpsyches.Jackwas

morelikelytoletitchokehisthoughts;hiscynicismcoloredeverythinghedidfromtravelplansto

intelligencebriefings.Itwasemotionallyexhausting.

“Youshouldn’tbeborrowingagainstaccountswemayneverbeabletoaccess,”Carolinesaid.

“DianaandMichaeldeservetogotoEuropeinstyle.”

Andtherehewas,bouncingbackupagain.Carolinelookedatherrathertinyrucksack.“Exceptin

termsofluggage.”

“We’llworryaboutthatwhenwegetthere.”

Hewasstrivingfornormalcyinatideofuncertaintyandstress.Touchingbutimpractical.“You’re

goingtodoyourbesttomakethisfeellikearunofthemilltrip,aren’tyou?”

“Isitworking?”

Thereweremomentswhenshecouldpretendthingswerethewaytheyusedtobe.Thateverything

wouldreverseitselfinsomemagicalcosmicoverride.Liketurningalightswitchonandoffonlyto

discoverthebulbhadburnedout.She’dreplaceitandthelightwouldcomebackon,floodingherwith

warmcomfort.Thenitwouldflickeragainandshe’dberemindedthatnothing,absolutelynothingwas

thesame.

Tonight,however,Carolinewoulddoherbesttoretreattothatmoderatelyhappyplaceinhermind

whereshethoughtonlyofthepositiveandletherselfbeloved.“Alittle.”

Jackputhisarmaroundher.“What’sreallybotheringyou?”

Hernervousnesshadlittletodowithwhytheyweregoing,andeverythingtodowithwhatshe

valuedmost.“Idon’twantanythingtohappentoyou.Ifeellikethere’sachanceIcanfinallyget

everythingthat’simportanttomeandIdon’twantittakenawayagain.”

“Caroline,we’vegottonsofsecurity.CaliforniaBureauofInvestigationagents.Jones,Gig,and

Crunch.We’vebeenguaranteedthehighestsecuritymeasuresoncewelandinAmsterdam.We’llbefine.I

promise.”

Hekeptsayingwewhenshewasmoreconcernedabouthim.“Let’sdoourbesttostay

inconspicuous.”

“Hey,you’retheonewhocan’tseemtokeepherselfoutoftrouble.”

Carolinecuffedhisarm.“Stoptellingthetruth.That’sreallyannoying.”

Jackkissedher.“Youshouldgetsomerest.We’vegotalongcoupleofweeksahead.Inlessthantwo

dayswe’llbeattheInternationalCriminalCourt,whereyoucanminglewithallyourfellowministersof

justice.”

“Idon’tthinkanyofthemaregoingtobeAmerican,”shesaid.

“Maybethat’sforthebest.Youloveconnectingwithpeoplewhoshareapassionforyourvocation.I

hopeitmakesiteasierforyoutoshareyourstorywiththem.”

Carolinecrawledunderthecovers.“Willyoutuckmein?”

Hegaveheradeep,long,toecurlingkissbeforeslidingintobedbesideher.“I’mgoingtodomore

thanthat.Imaywearyououtenoughthatyourtranquilizerswon’tevenbenecessarytomorrow.”

Shegleefullypulledthesheetovertheirheads.“Gettoit,Mr.O’Malley.”

ChapterFour

“FlyingtoupstateNewYorkissomuchbetterthandriving.”Carolineslippedoutofhersandals

andfloppeddownonthebedinthemasterbedroom.“Ishouldhavemarriedyouyearsago.”

“Wouldhavebeenhardforyoutoswingthat.”Jacktookoffhisshoes.“ButI’mgladyouenjoyed

thetrip.”

“I’denjoyanythinginaprivatejet.”

“Youdon’tthinkmypersonalaircraftisoverkill?”

“Makescampaigningaloteasier.”Sherolledovertofacehim.“Thegirlsseemedtobeinagood

place,don’tyouthink?”

“Wereyouworriedaboutthat?”

“Alothaschangedinthepastyear.Iwasn’tsureifthey’dwanttogoaway.”

ShecouldtellJackwastryingnottolaugh.“Areyoukidding?”hesaid.“Itwastheperfect

chanceforthemtostopattendingcampaignevents.”

“Theydidn’tlikegoingtoluncheonsandfairswithus?”

Jackkissedherlightly.“They’renotasgoodathidingtheirboredomastheirmotheris.”

Carolinesatup.“Ismyennuithatobvious?”

“Probablynottoanyoneelsebutme.MaybeKatieandChristine.”

Lookingdistractedoreventepidonthetrailwouldbeanissue.“I’lltryharder.”

Hekissedheragain.“Don’tworryaboutit,sweetheart.Everyoneyoumeetadoresyou.”

Carolinegrabbedhistieandpulledhimontopofher.“Youknow,wehavetheentiresummerto

ourselves.Relativelyspeaking,thatis.”

Heplacedhispalmsonthepillow,adjustinghisposition.“Whatdidyouhaveinmind?”

“Nightlydebauchery.Constantperversion.Entireweekendsofnakedness,schedulepermitting.

Doesthatworkforyou?”

Jacknuzzledherneck.“Absolutely.”

Maybeifshemadeatinyeffort,thedebaucherycouldstartimmediately.“Oh,andnexttimewe

havesexontheplane.”

“Deal.”Hekissedheragain,deeperthistime.“Idon’tmeantotease,butIactuallyhavesome

callsIneedtomake.”

Oh,hellno.Notjustyet.JackstartedtogetupandCarolinepulledhimbackdown.“Noway.

We’refinallyaloneandwe’regoingtohavesomefunfirst.”

“Sweetheart,I’mnotkidding.Wespentthepastfewdaysalmostcompletelyignoringourphones

andwehavetogetbackintheswing.”

Hewasnofunatall.Surelyshecouldgethimtolightenup.“No,”shemurmured,wrappingher

armsaroundhim.“I’mmoreimportantthanyourcalls.”

Jacktriedtopullawaybutdidn’tfightherkissesallthatmuch.“Stufftodo,”hemumbled.“We

needtobehave.”

“We’realoneinagianthouse,child-freeforthenexteightweeks.Thelastthingwehavetodois

behave.”

“Imeanit.”Hetriedtopullawayagain.“Icanhearmyphoneintheotherroom.”

“Fuckyourphone,”Carolinesaid,reachingtounbucklehisbelt.Theonedrawbackofhim

wearingkhakis.Nosuspenders.Maybehe’dthrowonapairtomorrow.“Justaquickie.Fiveminutes

atthemost.”

“Youinsultme.”

Hemighthavesoundedmoderatelyamused,butsheknewshewaspushingit.Shedidn’tcare.They

weregoingtospendthebulkoftheirtimecampaigningasthesummerworeon.Carolinecouldhardly

befaultedforwantingafewmorehoursofcoupletime.“Ten?”

Jackshovedtohisfeet,adjustinghispolo.“Ihavetowork,baby.IpromiseI’llbebackinalittle

whileandyoucanbeaspervertedasyouwant.”

Hewasserious.Heneededtowork.Shedidn’tcare.Shestartedworkingathisbeltagain.“Iwant

tobepervertednow.”

“Caroline,”hesaid,butitwasmoreofagroan.Good.Herhandsproducedthedesiredeffect.

“You’rebeingnaughty.”

Whatacuteturnofphrase.Hadheeverwordeditthatwaybefore?“Iliketomisbehave.”

Hisexpressiondarkened.“Naughtygirlsgetspanked.”

Wasn’theakidder.She’dmeetthatchallengeanydayoftheweek.“Ihighlydoubtyou’dspank

yourownwife.”

Jackyankedherupandswattedherasshard.Carolinestumbledforward.Hisfirmgripwasthe

onlythingkeepingherfromlosingherbalance.Therewasastingtohisaction,butshedidn’tknowif

itcamefrompainorshock.Sheclosedhereyesandletoutaharshbreath.“Idoubtyouhavethe

audacitytodothatagain.”

Hemovedsoswiftlythatittookherbysurprise.Jacktookheroverhiskneeontheedgeofthebed

andslappedherbacksidethreetimesinsuccessionbeforepullingheruptoasittingpositionnextto

him.

“I’mamanofmyword,”hesaid.

Indeedhewas.No,shedidn’tfeelpain.Andshewasn’tentirelysureitwasshock.Butshewas

morethanalittleturnedon.“Icanseethat.”

Maybeifsheaskedhe’ddoitagain.Clothed,naked,inthebedroom,inthelivingroom,inthe

backyard.Anywhere.Jackkissedherafinaltime,smilingassheattemptedtopullhimontopofher

again.

“Sorry,baby.Youhavetowait.I’mgoingintotheofficetomakesomecalls.Maybeyoushould

slipintosomethingmorecomfortable.Imightgetboredinthereallbymyself.”

Carolineshookherhead,stilldazed.Oh,shecoulddefinitelycomeupwithsomething.“Justyou

wait.”

Shedebatedhowlongtogivehim.Hewouldn’thavelefttheroomunlesshelegitimatelyhadwork

todo.Buthe’dmadeitclearhewantedherinhisofficeatsomepoint.He’dspankedher.Herhusband

hadspankedher.Shehadn’texpectedhimtomakegoodonhisthreatbutnowthathehad…shewanted

toknowwhatitwouldtakeforhimtodoitagain.

Carolinefoundhersexiestmerrywidowandthongset,gartersandall.Aspectacularsapphire

bluewithblacktrim.He’dtakehistimeremovingitsinceitwasoneofherfavorites.Thelookonhis

facewhenshesaunteredintohisofficetoldherallsheneededtoknow.Afigurativejawdropifthere

everwasone.

“MyGod,”hesaid.“Youweren’tkidding.”

“YouthoughtIwouldn’tshowup?”

Hesteeredhertowardhisdesk,sittingheronhislap.“Iknewyou’dshowup.Ijustwondered

whatoutfityou’dgreetmewith.”

Carolinegesturedtowardthecorset.“I’llhaveyouknowthatthisisnot,infact,allthat

comfortable,butIthoughtitwouldturnyouon.”

“Definecomfortable.”

“Ahoodieandsweatpants.”

“IguessIcouldfindthatattractiveundertherightcircumstances.Ifthoseparticularitemswere

onthefloorrightafterI’drippedthemoffofyou.”

Shewaswillingtosacrificesomeclothesfortheteam.“So,you’dprefermetotallynaked?”

Hegaveherhipasqueeze.“Allthedamntime.”

Carolineundidthetopbuttononhispolo,kissinghiscollarbone.“Didyouhavefunmakingyour

calls?”

“Iwasbeggingpeopleformoney.So,no.”

“IwishI’dbeeninhere.Ilikehearingyoubeg.”Shetuggedatthebottomofhisshirt,untucking

it.

“Oh,really?”Jackforcedherarmsbehindherback.“Ilikehearingyoubeg,too.”

Thatbitetohisvoiceturnedheroninalltherightplaces.“Whatdidyouhaveinmind?”

Hebroughthislipstoherear.“Wehaveallsortsofrestraintsinthebedroom.Iknowhowdifficult

itisforyoutokeepyourhandstoyourself.”

“Idon’tknowifIcanbetaught,”shesaid.

“Ithinkyoucan,withalittlehelp.Shallwecontinuethisconversationelsewhere?”

“Absolutely.”

Jacktookherhandandledherintothemastersuite,closingthedoor.

“Afraidsomeone’sgoingtocomein?”Carolineasked.

Helaughed.“Forceofhabit,Iguess.”

He’dspankedher.He’dalludedtotyingherup.Shehadtomakesuretocoverallherbases,just

incase.Everythingwasstillsonew.“Youdon’thaveanycamerasplantedinhere,doyou?”

“Iwouldneverdoanythinglikethatwithoutyourconsent.Idon’twanttoshareyouwithanyone

else.”

Good.Cameraswereano-no,particularlysincetheyweresooftenphotographedinpublic

makingkissyfacesateachother.They’dhavetobecareful.

Jackslidherunderweardownherhips.“Idon’tthinkyou’llbeneedingthese.”

ThankGod.Shehatedthongswiththepassionofathousandsuns.Carolinesteppedoutofher

pantiesandleanedinclosertoJack.

“Areyounervous?”heasked.

Hemusthavenoticedtheslighttrembleinherstep.Thehitchinherbreath.“I’malittlemore

excitedthanIshouldbe,”shesaid.

Jackbitherearlobe.“I’mgoingtomakeyoucomesomanytimesyoupassout.”

Ahellofathreat.“Isthatevenpossible?”

“Icertainlyintendtofindout.”Hetrailedafingerdownherbreasts,wrappingbothhandsaround

thecorsetandpullinghercloser.“YoulikedwhenIspankedyou.”

Sheflattenedherpalmsagainsthischest.“Yes,”shewhispered.“HowdidyouknowIwould?”

“Itookachance.Doyouwantmetodoitmoreoften?”

Shedidn’thesitate.“Yes.”

“Maybetonight?”

Shenodded,theprospectleavingherunabletospeak.

Jackkissedhercheek.“Howaboutrightnow?”

“Sweetheart,we’reabouttoland.”Herhusband’svoicejerkedherawake.

Carolinerubbedhereyes.“What?”

“Theplaneisstartingtodescend.Thoughtitwastimeforyoutowakeup.”Hegrinnedather.“Have

anicenap?”

Oh,boy.“PleasetellmeIwasn’ttalkinginmysleep.”

“Youweren’t.”Hewaswearingkhakipants,acorduroyjacket,andanOxfordshirt.Withhisneatly

trimmedbeardandglasses,helookedlikeamildmanneredcollegeprofessor.Averysexymildmannered

collegeprofessor.Sheresistedtheurgetolickherlips.

“Ihadahellofadream,”shesaid.“Idon’tknowifit’ssafetotellyouhere.”

“Tryme.”

Thatnighthadbeenthebeginningofaverymemorablesummer.Shewhisperedsoftlyinhisear.“I

wasrememberingthefirsttimeyouspankedme.Doyourememberthat,Jack?Youwokemeupright

beforethegoodstuff.”

“MyGod,woman.”Hetuggedathiscollar.“Whatwasthegoodstuff?”

“Youspankedmeandleftmetiedtothebedwhenyoumadeafundraisingcall.Onehellofan

initiationintoourlifeofsinfulsexualdecadence.”

“Yourflightwasclearlymoreinterestingthanmine.”

Apparentlyso.Afewbriefingbookswerestuffedintheseatpocketinfrontofhim.“Mystreamof

consciousnessworksinmysteriousways.”

Heshiftedinhisseat.“Youdohavethemostfascinatingdreams.”

Carolinehadn’tanticipatedit,butwasn’tgoingtocomplain.Reminiscingoverpastachievements

wasmuchbetterthancalculatingairspeedandtraveltime.“Darling,trytogetyourselfbacktogether

beforewedeplane,”shesaid.

“Idefinitelyshouldn’tstandupyet.”Jackchuckled,amusedbyherrevelation.“Whatagreatnight.I

wasalittleterrifiedyouweregoingtodestroytheheadboardafterIlefttheroom.”

“Ialmostdid.”

“Ifiguredyou’deitherwanttocutmyballsofforletmefuckyourbrainsout.I’mverygladyouwent

withthelatter.”

“Don’tthinkIdidn’tconsidertheformerwhenyouwereoutoftheroom.Jerk.”

“IknewifyouwerestillturnedonafterIleft,we’dbeinforaveryinterestingweekend.”

Interestingwasputtingitmildly.“We’vehadmuchmorethanjustoneweekendofthatsortofthing.”

Hekissedthebackofherhand.“Ihaven’tforgotten.”

Thetranquilizerwasfading,butCarolineremainedrelativelycalm.Compartmentalizationhadits

merits.“Let’skeepthistripaspositiveaswecan,okay?”

Jackputhisarmaroundher,knowingshehatedlandings.“Absolutely.”

AnuneventfuldrivefromAmsterdamtoTheHagueandasecuritybriefinglater,theyarrivedattheir

hotel.Theyhadthreeprotectivesquads–Crunch,Jones,andGiginoneroom,theCBIagents,andtwo

U.N.Peacekeepersflownintoescortthemtotheirappointmentsfortheweek.Theyhadadriver

availabletwenty-fourhoursaday,butwereencouragedtostayaslowprofileaspossible.

Jackslidthekeycardintothedoor.Carolinegasped.“Lookatthisplace.Kingsizebed.Verynice.”

Hetossedhistoiletrybagonthechairinthecorner.“Appearstobeanormalhotelroomtome.”

Itwasstillalittlefancierthanusual.“Theymusthaveheardabouthowpretentiousyouare.”

“Hey,now.I’vebeenbunkedupinasardinecanforthelasttwoyears.YouthinkIdon’tknow

upscalewhenIseeit?IlivedinEuropeanhotelroomsforyears,remember?”

Thathadslippedhermind.“YoumusthavestayedinnicerplacesthanIdidincollege.”

“Ah,yes.Iforgot.Youfoundyourselfandexploredyourdeepestinnermostthoughtsduringa

mandatorybackpackfromBelgiumtoFrancetoItaly.”

Shesmackedhisarm.“Don’tbemean.Thatwasthebesttripofmylife.”

“Probablybecauseofallthepotyousmoked.”

“ProbablybecauseIwasbymyself,”sheretorted.

Hehuggedher.“Doyouwishyouwerealonenow?”

“Notachance.”Carolineflungopenthecurtains.“Ohlook,abalcony!There’sagreatviewof…the

parkinglot,”shesaid.“Allright.Maybetheviewisn’tsohot.Butthisroomisawesome.”Sheran

around,openingdrawers,examiningalltheitemsontheshelvesanddesk.

Jacksmiledwarmly.“It’slikeyouthinkwe’reonvacation.”

She’dtakethewhimsicalmomentswhentheycame.Perhapssomedaythey’dlast.“Yousaidtobe

positive,right?”

Hesatdownonthebed,takingoffhisshoes.“Fairenough.Carryon,myintrepidexplorer.”

Carolinegiggledwhenshegotintothebathroom,returningtoJackwithasmallbasketinherhands.It

wasfulloflube,condoms,andothersundries.“Thismustbeahotelforsexfiends.”

“TheDutchareanenlightenedpeople.Maybethefolksatthecriminalcourtdidtheirresearchbefore

bookingusaroom.”

Shesetthebasketdownonthenightstandandsettledinbesidehimonthebed.“You’requitedroll.”

Jackwrappedhisarmaroundher.“Wanttouseanyofthatstufftonight?”

Whenshewasstillhavingvividflashbackstoherdreamontheplane?“Youbet.”

“Really?”

“Whynot?”

“Ijust–Iwasn’tsureyou’dbeupforthatanymore.”

They’dplayedaround.Testedsomeboundaries.Nothingclosetowhatthey’ddonebefore.She

missedit.Shedidn’tneedadreamtoremindher,either.Shejusthadtofindawaytoremindhim.And

shecouldstartwithakiss.Orthree.

Jackbitherlip.“Ilikethemoodyou’rein.”

“Wedon’thavetogoout,”shemurmured.“Wecouldstayhere.”

“AndhaveyouwearfatiguestotheICCtomorrow?Notachance.”Hekissedher.“I’mgoingtotake

youshopping,thendinner.Then…we’regoingtopickupexactlywhereweleftoff.”

Herfeethurt.Carolinewasusedtorunningandwalkinglongdistancesbuthell,they’djustflownfive

thousandmilesandshehadsomeseriousmusclefatigue.Andthey’dbeenshoppingforatleasttwohours.

“Iassumedyou’dletmenapbeforerunningmeraggedacrossvariousshopsandrestaurants,”shesaid.

“Yousleptontheplane.I’mhappytoletyourestoncewe’redonepickingoutclothes.MaybeIcan

joinyourbodyguardsoutonthetown.”

“Ourbodyguards,”Carolinecorrected.“Andyou’restuckwithmeallnight.”

“Iguessthat’sanacceptableoption.”

Tobefair,thereweren’talotofavailabledatingprospectsontherebelbase.Shecouldhardlyfault

theguysforexploringthearea.“Probablywouldn’thurtforthemtounwindbeforeweheadtotheICC

tomorrow.”

“Probablynot.”Jackheldupablackdress.“Wouldn’thurtforyoutoloosenup,either.”

Longsleeves,highcutneck.Perfectforhidinganyscarsshemightfeelself-consciousabout.Silky

andsatinyenoughtobeflatteringashell.“Isasexyoutfitpartoftheplan?”

“AslongasIgetlaid,Idon’tmuchcare.”

Whataone-trackmind.Shegrabbedthedressoutofhishands.“SexisalwaysonthetablebutIwant

theprettyclothes,thankyou.”

Jackpointedatagarterbelt.“Caretocompletetheoutfit?”

Screwhersorefeet.Classyshoesmadeherfeeldignified,evengraceful.“Onlyifwecanfindapair

ofredpatents.”

“Deal,”hesaid.“Let’saddthistoourpileofpurchasesandgetgoing.”

ChapterFive

Carolineworetheblackdressandredpatentstodinner.Localfare,notexactlyblacktiebutcertainly

ritzy.She’dsplurgedonsomemakeupandperfume.Weirdtoputitonaftertwoyearsofgoingaunaturel,

butwhenfinishedshedidn’tlookhalfbad.

SheandJackavoideddiscussingsensitivetopicsduringtheirmealandthecarridebacktothehotel.

Notalkofhertestimonyortheuneasetheybothhadgoingoutinpublic,andtheyneatlysidestepped

anythingregardingthebasketofmaritalaidswaitingforthematthehotel.

“Well,”Carolinesaid,sittinginthechairacrossfromthebedandslippingoffhershoes.Shehadn’t

worntheminyearsandwouldhavetowalkextraslowlythenextdaytogetacclimatedtothemagain.

Funnyhowshecouldhandleatwentymilehikeinbootsbutashortjauntinnylonsandheelscouldputher

downforthecount.

“Well,”Jackrepeated.

Weren’ttheyawkward.“Dinnerwasnice.”

Heeyedherdress.“Indeed.”

“Gotanyplansfortonight?”

“Sweetheart,stoppracticingavoidance.Whatdoyouwanttotalkabout?”

“Youdidn’tbringitupeither.”

“Iassumedyouwould.You’retheonewhomentionedittobeginwith.”

Hismerepresencecouldintimidateheralmostasmuchasitcouldintrigueher.“Youwerehesitant.I

didn’t-”

Jackkneltonthefloorinfrontofherchair.“Caroline,Iwaslettingyoutakethelead.Iwantyoutobe

comfortable.WhatmakesthisenvironmentdifferentthanCalifornia?”

“We’vedonealotofkinkyshitinhotelrooms.”

Thatdrewasmile.“Indeedwehave,bothseparatelyandtogether.Andwedon’thavetodoanything

youdon’twant.”

Familiarwords.“Iknow.”

Jackmusthaveheardtheindecisioninhervoice,becausehestoodupandleanedtowardherear.

“Don’tbeafraid.”

Carolinekissedhim.“Iwantyou,”shewhispered.

Heledhertothebed,pressingagainstherback,puttinghisarmaroundherwaist.“Tellmewhatyou

wantmetodo.”

Hewassafe.Theyweresafe.Theyhadsecurityeverywhere,theywereniceandwarmandrelatively

free,andhewouldlistentoher.Respectherneeds.Maybehewasn’tasreluctanttoplayasshe’d

assumed.Carolinerubbedhisarm,desperateforhimtotouchherbutembarrassedtotellhimwhatshe

reallywanted.Whatifhesaidno?“I-”

“Ifyouwantmetotakethelead,Iwill.”

Howconsiderateofhimtoask.Heusuallydiditanywaybuthewassogoodatknowingwhenshe

neededreassurance.“Please.”

Hebitherneck.“Doyouwanttoplay,Caroline?”

Oh,fuck.He’dgoneaheadandsaidthosewords.Evenifshedidn’tliterallygoweakattheknees,

shemetaphoricallymeltedinhisarms.“Yes,”shesaidsoftly.

Jackkissedthebackofherhead.“Tworulestoaddtoouroldones.First,ifanythingcomescloseto

triggeringsomething,youknowwhattodototellmetobackoff.IfIsenseyou’recloseI’mgoingtostop

regardless.Andsecond,Igettoremoveyourdress.”

Carolinelaughed.“Okay.”

“Turnaround,”hesaid.“Didyoulikewearingthis?”

Shenodded.

“Youneedn’thideyourscarswhilewe’rehere.”

Ithadbeenaconsideration.Herblouseshadlongsleeves,herskirtshitattheknee,herjacketsleeves

completelycoveredthephysicalremindersofhertorture.Sheneededtohavethepowertorevealthemif

andwhenshechose.“Idon’thidetheminfrontofyou.”

“Andyoushouldn’t.”Heunzippedherdressandsliditdownherarms.Itpooledatherfeet.“You

lookedbeautifultonight.Butyoualwaysdo.We’retakingeverylastthingweboughtbacktoCalifornia.”

Hespunherbackaround,pinchingherchinbetweenhisthumbandforefinger.“Takeofftherestofyour

clothes,”heordered.“Slowly.”

Oh,hewasdefinitelyintothis.“Eventhegarters?”sheasked.

“Youknowbetter.”Whenshehadstrippeddown,Jackcametowardher.“Spinaroundforme,”he

said,hiseyespiercinghers.

Carolineobeyed.Heranafingerdownherspineandsheshivered.“Lovely,”hemuttered.He

stoppedwhenhegottotheindentationjustaboveherrear.“Mylittletiger’stail.”Jackkissedher

shoulders.“Getonthebed.”

Shestartedtomoveuntilsheheardhisbreathhitch.

“Wait,”hesaid,andtuggedatthebobbypinsholdingherloosebuntogether.Herhairfelltoher

shoulders.“That’sbetter.”Hepulledbackthecoversuntilonlythesheetsremainedonthebed.“Liedown

onyourback,closeyoureyes,andspreadyourlegs.”

Oh,sweetJesus.Carolinecouldfeelherthighstrembling,butclimbedontothebedanddutifully

spreadthemforhim.

“Wider,”hesaid.Shedidn’thavetolookathimtoknowhewassmiling.“That’sverynice.”

She’dseenrepentantJack,melancholyJack,sweetJack,evenalphaJack.Butthereturnofsexually

commandingJackleftherinagiddy,quiveringhaze.

“Handsbehindyourhead,”heordered,kneelingonthebedtowhisperinherear.“Youknowwhatto

sayifit’stoomuch.Sayitearlierthanyouwouldbefore,allright?”

“Okay,”shewhispered.“Butyou’redoingreallywellsofar.”

Hekissedhercheek.“Iwantedtoremindyoubeforeitgottoointenseandyouforgot.Keepyourlegs

open,”hesaidsharply,asshebegantosquirmonthebed.Jacknuzzledherneck,hishandsdriftingtoher

breasts.Shemoanedashetweakedhernipples.Thatwouldn’tbeallhewoulddo.He’dwantmore.Alot

more.Sureenough,hetookoneoftheminhismouthandbitdownhard.Hereyesflewopen.This–

whateveritwastheyweredoing–wastoomuchbutitwasn’tenough.Andsheknewshehadtoslowit

down.Sheinstinctivelyreachedforhim.

“Letmetouchyou,”shesaid.

Jackgrabbedherhands.“Notnow,sweetheart.”

Shestruggled,reachingforhisface.“Please.”

“Youcandothis,”hesaid.“Youcancontrolyourreactions.Letyourselffeelgoodwithoutworrying

aboutme.”

“Please,Jack.”

Heleaneddowntokissher,hard,untilshegavein.“That’sbetter,”hesaid.“Putyourhandsbehind

yourhead.”

Jackwasincontrolmode,butnottoocontrolling.Shecouldaffordtobeabitsassy.“Fine.How

comeyougettokeepallyourclotheson?”

Hewalkedhisfingersdownherneckline,squeezingherbreastsagain.“I’mkindofbashful.”

Nowhewastoyingwithher.“You’refullofshit,”shegroaned.

“Probably,”Jacksaid.“Closeyoureyes.”

Shewantedtoobject.Toldherselftoobject.Butthatlittlevoiceinherheadthatcommandedherto

obeywasgettinglouderandlouder.Jackmoveddownherbody,teasinghisfingersalongoneofher

thighs.Heglidedhishandacrossherhipbonesbeforedriftingdowntheotherleg,andshewhimpered.

“I’msorry,”hesaid.“Didyouwantsomething?”

Lethimdothistoyou.Carolinereachedforthepillowunderherheadandpulleditoverherface.

“No.”

“That’swhatIthought.”Jackkissedtheinsideofherthighs,untilhisnosewasatherclit.Shearched

towardhim,herbodybeggingtobetouched.Hepulledawayandstartedkissingherstomach.Caroline

mumbledafewchoiceobscenitiesintothepillow.“Whatwasthat?”heasked.Hekissedthescaronher

abdomen,runninghisfingernailsdownherthighs,overherhips,beforemovingbackupagain.Itwas

unbearablehowherefusedtotouchherwheresheneededitthemost.

Carolineclenchedherkneestogether,hearingayelp.Shehadn’trealizedJackhadbeenworkinghis

waybackdownandshe’dalmostmanagedtobreakhisnose.Sheshovedthepillowtotheside.“Oh

Jesus,Jack.I’msorry.”

Helaughed.“No,you’renot.”

“DidI-”

“Igotoutoftheway.That’swhatIgetforteasingyou.”

“Ilovedit,”shesaid.“Ijusthadamomentofimpatience.”

Jackpulledhertoasittingposition.“Sweetheart,Iknowit’shardforyoutofocusonyourself,butI

wishyou’dtry.Letmedothework.”

She’dbeentryingsohardtoheedhiswords.Togivein,letherselffeelallthethingsshe’dforgotten.

Itstillhadn’tbeenenough.Hermindandherbodyweren’tinsync.“I’mhavingtroublefocusing.”

“Wecanchangecourse.”Hekissedher.“Whatdoyoureallywant?”

Maybeshecouldshakeitup,gettotherootofherreticence.Seehowfarhewaswillingtogo.

Carolineranherfingersthroughhishair.“Whydon’tyouletmetakechargesomeofthetime?”

“Isthatwhatyouwant?”

Maybe.Idon’tknow.“Howdoyouknowitisn’twhatyouwant?”

“Ineverthoughtaboutit.”

Shefoundthatclaimdubious.Hehadtohavethoughtaboutit.Shedid,allthetime.Lettinghimtake

theleadfreedherfromherotherworries,butshealsoenjoyedhisreactions.Thereweretimeswhenhe

mighthavegottenmoreoutofitthanshedid.“Ihavemanypleasantmemoriesfromthefirstcoupleof

yearsweweremarried.”

“SodoI.”Herhusband’sexpressionwasmorethanalittlesmug.“Alotofwhatwedidwaspretty

hot.Doyoumissit?”

Ifherdreamswereanyindication,absofuckinglutely.“Ido.”

“YouthinkIwasn’tgettingsomethingoutofteasingyoujustnow?”heasked.

“I’msureyouwere.Itjust–it’sdifferentsomehow.Notlikeitusedtobe.”

“Nothingislikeitusedtobe.”

He’dgonefromconceitedtowistfulsoquickly.Histonemirroredhermood.“Ifeellikeyou’re

afraidofhurtingme,”shesaid.

“Iam,”Jacksaidsoftly.“Idon’twanttoremindyouofbadexperiences.”

Someenlightenment,perhapsforthemboth.“YoumeanwhathappenedatTheFed.”

“Yes.”

“There’sadifferencebetweengettingturnedonbylettingyourhusbandorderyouaroundandhaving

someonebeattheshitoutofyouwithoutyourconsent.Ifanythingyoudidbotheredme,I’dtellyou.”She

thoughtbackonthatnightinBeverlyHills.Oneofherfavoritememories.Ithadbeenhardtotop,but

they’deagerlyattemptedrepeatperformanceswithgreatsuccess.“We’vehadsomereallymind-blowing

sex,Jack.”

Heleanedovertobiteherlip.“Indeedwehave.”

Maybeshecouldturnthetables.Seehowfarbothofthemwerewillingtogo.“Howaboutwemake

somemorememories?”Carolineunbuttonedhisshirt,strokinghimthroughhisdresspants.“Itwouldbe

soveryniceifyouundressedforme.”

Hismovementswereslow.Deliberate.Curious.Hewasturnedon.Reallyturnedon.Shewondered

ifherealizedhowintenselyhewasreactingtoher.Hestrippedoffhisshirtandkickedoffhispants,

boxers,andsocks.Carolinegazedathischiseledbody,admiringtheview.Shepickedhisshirtup,slidit

on,andrebuttonedit,rollingupthesleeves,inhalingthelingeringsmellofhiscologne.

“Sitdown,”sheordered.Shekneltinfrontofhim,teasinghiscockwithherhands.“Whatwasyour

onehardandfastrulewhenyoubossedmearoundinbed?”

Jackclosedhiseyes.Shewasthrowingoffhisconcentration.Good.

“Youhadtokeepyourmouthoffmydick,”hefinallysaid.

“WhathappenedifIdidn’t?”Carolinelickedhimlightlywithhertongue,kneadinghisballs.

Heclenchedhisteeth.“I’dspankthehelloutofyou.”

Sheranherfingersupanddownhisshaft.“Why?”

Jackgroanedasshecontinuedtostrokehim.“Jesus,Caroline.”

Shequickenedhermovements.“Why?”

“Becauseyoudisobeyedme.”

“It’smorethanthat.Why?”

“BecauseIdidn’twanttolosecontrol,”hesaid.“Iwasincharge.I’malwaysincharge.”

Hehadsomedamngoodself-awarenessforamaninthemiddleofahandjob.“Stunninganalysis,

Mr.McIntyre.”Carolinetookhiminhermouthforamoment,ashecontinuedtogrowl.Heputhishandon

thebackofherheadandshepulledback,slappingitaway.“Ohno,”shesaid.“Notouching.Youjustget

towatchmesuckyouoff.”

Jackwrappedhisfingersaroundthetopofthemattress.“Youwin,baby.Igetyourpoint.Okay?”

Shecouldindulgehimalittle.Sheclimbedontohislap,kissinghimdeeply.Hepressedinsideher

andshemoaned,temporarilylosingherconcentration.Hediditseveralmoretimesuntilsheclawedhis

back.Shecouldfendoffhissneakattack.“Oh,wecan’thavethat,Jack.Youdon’tgettomisbehave.Not

tonight.”Carolinekneltdownonthefloor,wrappingherlipsaroundhimagain.Itdidn’ttakelongbefore

hewaspushingup,tryingtothrustintohermouth.Asignalthathewantedtobeinsideher.Subtlebutnot

quiteenough.

Shetriedtokeepgoing,tofinishwhatshestarted.ShewasstrongbutJackwasstronger,and

probablyalwayswouldbe.Onelittlemovement,herpullingbackandhimreachingforher,andshewas

onhislapagain.Hewrappedonearmfirmlyaroundherwaist,usinghisotherhandtogripthebackofher

neck.

“Don’tmove,”hesaid.

Shecouldpretendtostruggle.Batathishands,scratchathisfingers.Playafalsegameofresistance.

Carolineswattedathisarm,andhegrippedhertighter.

“Thisiswhatyouwantedallalong,isn’tit?”hehissed.

Maybe.Idon’tknow.

Yes.

Definitelyyes.

Thedreamduringtheflight.Thatdamndream.Ithadtriggereditall,toldherwhatsheneededthe

most.Whatshehadtoaskfor.Therevelationthrewheroffandshewasdistractedenoughforhimtodrive

herhipsdownwardontohim,forcinghertofeelhislength.

“Isn’tit?”herepeated.

Whathappenedwhenlongingtrumpedcaution?Shetriedtopushawayfromhim.“Jack,please.”

“Youcanpretendtobeincontrolbutthisiswhatyou’vewanted.Allnight,”hebreathed,pushing

himselfdeeperinsideher.

Hefeltsogood.Sosafe.Sohers.SoJack.

“Doyouwantmetostop?”heasked.

Ifshesaidtheword,hewould.Butsheremainedsilent.Itwasstilltoomuch.Hermouthstayedshut

andherbodyreactedofitsownaccord.Carolinetriedtosquirmawaybuthewastoostrong.

“Doyou?”herepeated.

Hemovedherupanddownontopofhimuntilshecollapsedagainsthisshoulder.Hewasgoingto

getwhathewanted.Theybothwould.Shecouldn’tdenythetruthanylonger.

“No,”Carolinewhispered.

“EverythingIam,everythingIhaveisyours,”Jacksaidquietly.Hemovedsmoothly,almostsoftly.

Neverquitepullingoutandneverquitegoingdeep.Unhurriedmovementsmeanttotantalizeasmuchas

tease.“Thisisyours.Thisbelongstoyou.Ibelongtoyou.”

Carolinetuggedathishair.“Iknow.”

“Isthiswhatyouwant?Icoulddothisallnightandnotgettired.UnlikeyouIhaveplentyofself-

control.I’mnotgoingtobefinishedforagoodlongwhile.”

Shegavehimafiercelook,eventhoughthereweretearsinhereyes.Carolinetookhishandsinhers,

tremblingasshemovedhispalmstowardherbackside.“YouknowwhatIwant.”

“Sayit.”

Hewasn’tgoingtomakethiseasy,washe?Itwasherownfaultfornotfiguringitoutsooner.Her

dreamsalwaysmeantsomething,whetheritwashersubconsciousplayingonherguiltorfeedingher

unfulfilledyearnings.She’dspentmostofthedayhopinghe’dcatchon,takethelead.Butthatwas

irresponsible.Jackwasnevergoingtodowhatshewantedunlesssheaskedforitdirectly.Sheclosedher

eyes.

“You’rejustgoingtomakeitworseforyourself,”hesaid.

Ornot.Maybeshecouldpushitagain.Carolinedidn’tsayanything.

“Standup,”hesaid.

Shestumbledbackwardfromthebed,managingtostayonherfeet.

Jackpattedhisknee.“Youknowwhattodo.”

Sheeyedhiserection.“Jack-”

“DoasIsay.”

Shesteppedforwardandhegrabbedherarms,pullingheracrosshislap,groaningagainashisdick

wasnowflushwithherstomach.

Carolinelikedthatfeeling,hisskinagainsthers.Evenifhewasn’tinsideher,hewastouchingher.

Thewayhewaspositioningherledhertobelievehewasn’topposedtothesensationeither.Sherubbed

againsthiscock,feelingherownwetness.

Jackgrabbedherhairandyankedherheadup.Gently,butwiththattouchofalphathatdroveher

crazy.“It’smyturntoteaseyou.Stopthat.”

“No.”

Hepinchedherassandsheyelped.“Thisiswhatyouwantedallalong,isn’tit?Thisiswhatyou’re

afraidtosayoutloud.”

“Yes.”

Hepulledhisshirtupoverherhips.“DidIevertellyouwhatitdoestomewhenyouwearmy

clothes?”

“Icanshowyouwhatitdoestomeifyouletmegetonmykneesagain.”

Jackeasedafingerinsideher.“WhatdidItellyouaboutfocusingonyourself?”Shetriedtotwist

closertohishandandhepulledout,caressingherthighs.“No.Youhavetowait.”Hefondledherass

again.“You’vebeennaughty.”Carolinesquirmedagainsthiserection.Hetuggedatherhairbefore

brushingthebackofhishandacrosshercheek.“Stop,sweetheart.Tellmewhatyouwant.”

“Jack-”

“Youcandoit,”hesaid,thesuddentendernessofhistouchadelicatereminderthatifsheneededhim

tostop,allshehadtodowassayso.Butshewantedhimtokeepgoing.Shejustcouldn’tsayitoutloud.

Ican’t.Sheshookherheadbackandforth.

Heslappedherass.“Tellme.”

Shecouldn’tfightitanymore.Shecouldforceoutafewwords.Maybethenshe’dgetwhatshe

needed.“This.Iwantthis.”

Jackthrusttwofingersinsideherandshecriedout.“I’llgiveyouthisbutIknowyouwantmore.”

Carolinegraspedatthesheetsbutcouldn’tfindenoughmaterialtograbonto.Hehandedherapillow.

“Usethis,baby.SaythewordsandI’llgiveittoyou.”

Shethrewherarmsaroundthepillowasheslidone,thentwo,thenthreefingersinsideher.She

closedhereyes,raisingherassuptomeethishand,moaning.

“Tellme.OrIwon’tdoit.”Hepulledhisfingersoutofher,slidingonedigitoverherasscrack,

teasingherthere.“AndIwon’tmakeyoucome,either.”

“Jack,”shewhimpered.“Please.”

“Sayit.”

Shecouldn’tresistanymore.Thedamwasbroken.“Spankme,”shesaidsoftly.

“Whatwasthat?”

Oh,he’dheardher.Hejustwantedtoforcehertorepeatit.“Iwantyoutospankme.”

Jackpressedhislipstothesmallofherback,lingeringthereforamoment.“Goodgirl.Wasthatso

hard?”

“Please,”shebegged.“Pleasedoit.”

Hesmackedherbottomlightlytoquiether,usinghisotherhandtosmoothbackherhair.“You’llget

whatyouneed,sweetheart.Butwe’regoingtodoitdifferentlytonight.Youhavetotellmetokeepgoing

aftereachone.TellmetostopandI’llstop.”Heleanedclosertoherear.“Don’taskformorethanyou

canhandle,Caroline.I’llstopanywayifIthinkyou’vehadtoomuch.You’vealreadydonesowell,andI

don’twanttoundoanyofit.Areyouready?”

Sheputherheaddown,andashebroughthispalmdownhardonherbackside,shesquealed.

“Thatwasone,”Jacksaid.“Wasthatokay?”

Dominanttocaretakeralphaandbackagain.Maybeshewasn’ttheonlyonehavingissueswithwhat

shereallywanted.“Harder,”shesaid.

Hebroughtitdownagain,andsheburiedherfaceinthepillow.

“Two,”hesaid.“More?”

Wassheexpectedtoverbalize,orwouldphysicalcuesbeenough?Moremeantheightened

awareness,increasedskinsensitivity,beingoverwhelmedbysensationinsteadofprudence.

Rediscoveringthispartofhersexualidentitywasagamble.Itincurredariskoftakingittoofar,ofnot

realizingnewlimitations.Butherhusbandwouldprotecther,evenfromherself.

Hegottotenbeforetearssprangtohereyes,moreasreleasethananythingelse.Jackmassagedher

achingbehind.“Isthatenough?”

Clearlyherphysicalresponsewasn’tasuitableanswer.“No,”shesaidshakily.“More.”

“Comehere,”hesaid,pullingherupuntilshewasstraddlinghiswaist.Shewincedasherassmade

contactwithhislegs.“Ithinkwe’redone.You’vebeenshakinglikealeafforthepastthree.”

“Ihave?”Sheleanedintohisneck.

“Yes,”Jacksaid.“Areyouallright?”

Hedidn’taskoutofcuriosityorconcern.Thequestioncarriedalayerofdistressshehadn’t

anticipated.Usuallywhenherhusbandshowedfearitfrightenedher,butthistimeitgroundedher.

Remindedherofhisgenuine,unpretentiousgoodness,evenwhenhewaspretendingtobesomeoneor

somethingelse.Reliefwashedoverherlikefreshsummerrain.Carolineclungtohim,weepingsilently.

“Sweetheart,that’snowaytoconvincemethisiswhatyouwanted.”

Shehuggedhimtighter,doingherbesttoreassurehimwithactionsinsteadofwords.Heneededto

knowhe’dabsolutelydonetherightthing.“Itwas.Thankyou.”

“Whydidyouaskmetodothat?”

“Youknowwhy.Youwantmetosayitoutloud,too?”

“Yes.”Jackcradledhercloser.“Otherwiseyou’llmakemethinkImadeagiantmistake.”

Carolinepulledbacktofacehim.“Iknowthatnomatterwhatyoudotomeinbed,you’dneverreally

hurtme.You’remyprotector.”

Hestartedtospeakandshecuthimoff.

“Youhavealwaysprotectedme,”shesaidfirmly.“AndIalwayslikeditwhenyousmackedmyass.

Thatstupiddamndream.That’swhatdidit.”

“You’resuchadebauchedwoman,”hesaid.

Itwasnicetoknowshecouldcomforthimsoeasily.“Youknowyouloveit.”

Jackkissedherlightly.“Thatwasn’ttheonlythingyouwantedtonight,wasit?”

Sheblushed.“No.”

Heteasedherclit.“What,then?”

Maybehewouldn’tmakehersayitoutloud.“What’stheonethingIalwayswantafteryoudothatto

me?”

“Areyousure?”

Carolinewipedthetearsfromhereyes.“Theydidgiveusthatlittlegiftbasketforperverts.There’s

noreasonnotto.”

“Youareanaughtygirl.”

He’dgottenthereference.Helovedfuckingherintheassafteragoodspanking.Shelovedthewayit

feltandhelovedthatfinalbitofsexualdominanceattheendofanintenseexperience.Buthe’dalways

useacondom.Itmadehimlastlongerandkepthimreadyincasehedecidedtogoasecondround.

“We’venevereventriedsincewegotbacktogether,”shesaid.“Iwasafraidyou’dsaynoifIasked.

Imissit.Please?”

“Maybeifyoubegalittlemore.”Hedippedafingerinsideher.“Butyougetthisfirst.”

Carolinetriedtowriggleawayfromhim.Likeshegaveashitaboutanorgasm.Shewantedhim

insideher.Inthemostintimateofplaces.“Idon’tcareaboutthat.”

“ButIdo.Plentyoftime,sweetheart,”hesaid,strokingherclit,dartinghisfingerinandoutofher.

“Letmedothisforyou.”

Sheburiedherfaceinhisneck.Ittooktoomuchenergytoprotest.

“Youneverneedthatmuchconvincing.Doyou,baby?”Jacktuggedatherhairwhenshewhimpered.

“Soquicklyalready?Someonegetsexcitedbyagoodspanking.”Shebitathimandhequickenedhis

pace.“Mylittletiger,”hewhispered.

“You’resuchanassholesometimes,”shegasped.“You’redistractingme.”

“Youdon’twantmetostop,doyou?”heasked.“Youwantthis.Sobadly.TellmewhatIwantto

hear.”

“Pleasedon’tstop.”

“That’snotwhatIwanttohear.”

“Iloveyou,Monty.”

Heslidhisfingersinsideherslowly.Twisting,turning,goingdeeper.“Tryagain.”

“Ohfuck,”shesaid.

“Thatwilldefinitelyhappenlater.Butfornow...”Jackpulledhisfingersoutandsheshuddered.

“TellmewhatIwanttohear.”

“Idon’t–Idon’tknow.”

“Saymyname.”

Whatwouldittakeforhimtostarttouchingheragain?“Jack-”

“Whoalwaysgivesyouwhatyouwant,evenwhenyou’reafraidtoaskforit?”

“You,Jack.Onlyyou.”

Heslidhisfingersinsideherandbeganmassagingherclitwithhisthumb.“Tryagain.”

“Alwaysyou.Onlyyou.Pleasemakemecome.”

HerthighsstartedtoshakeandCarolinesquealedagainsthisjaw,throwingherarmsaroundhisneck.

“Yes,”hesaidsoftly.“ThatisdefinitelywhatIliketohear.”

Sheheldontohim,mufflinghercrieswithhisneck,scratchingherfingernailsacrosshisupper

shouldersashecontinuedtocaressherclit.Itwastoomuch.Evenwitheverythinghe’dalreadydoneto

her,itwastoomuch.Shereacheddowntostillhismovementsandhethrewheronthebed,graspingher

wristsinonehand.

“Youdon’tgettostopatone,”hesaid.

Carolineclosedhereyesashebroughthislipstohers,hisfingersstillinsideher.Jackbroketheir

kissandstartedtoworkhiswaydownherbody,teasingherthroughtheOxfordmaterialofhisshirt.

“Ohno,”shewhined.“Nomore.”

“Muchmore.”Heblewlightlyonherclit.“Mine.Allmine.”

Heteasedherwithhistongue,hislips,hisfingers,usingthemalltobringhertotheheightofecstasy

again,untilshefeltlightheaded.Carolinepulledathishair.“Stop,”shegasped.“Pleasestop.”

“That’sall?”heasked,soundingdisappointed.“Thatwasnowhereclosetoten.”

“Itwasdefinitelymorethanone.That’sallIcantake.Givemeaminute.”

“Notimetorest,”Jacksaid,rollingherover.“Getready.Imighthavetodothatagain.”

Couldshehandleanotherorgasm?Carolineroseunsteadilytoherhandsandknees.Jackgrabbedthe

bottleoflubeandacondomandkneltbehindher,caressingherass.“You’rebrightred.”Hegavehera

littleslap.“Didyoulikethat?Allofit?”

“Yes.”

Hesqueezedsomeofthelubeontohisfinger,rubbingitalongthecrackinherass.“Isthiswhatyou

want?”

“Yes,Jack.Please.”

“Sayit.”Hepushedhisfingerinsideherslowly,helpinghermusclesrelax.Itfeltillicit,forbidden.

Andithadbeensolongsinceshe’dhadanalsexthatshe’dforgottenhowgooditfelt.Doingitwasone

thing.Sayingitoutloudwasanother.

“Pleasefuckmethere,”shesaid.

Hepulledhisfingerout.“Tellme,”hesaidquietly.“Youshouldneverfeelanyshameinadmitting

whatyouwant.”

Whenhespokewithsuchencouragement,suchlackofjudgment,shecouldn’tdoanythingexceptblurt

outthetruth,bluntthoughtitwas.“Pleasefuckmeintheass.”

“That’smygirl.”Heremovedthecondomfromitspackageandsliditon,applyingmorelubricantto

theoutside,squeezinganevenmoregenerousamountontohertightopening.Hepositionedhimselfbehind

her,teasingherfirstwithhisfingers,thenhiscock.

“Don’tmakemewaitanymore,”shewhispered.

Jackenteredher,testingitout,lettingherrelaxforhim,untilsheletoutapleasurablecry.Hemoved

inandoutofhergently,usingonehandtoholdhersteady,theothertocaressherclit.

“Youlikethat,baby?”

Asiftheheavybreathingweren’tenoughofanindication.“Pleasedon’tstop.”

“Youalwayssaythat,andI’veneverstoppedonce.”

Herarmsstartedtoshakeandsheburiedherfaceinthesheets,overstimulatedfromthemany

orgasmshe’dgivenher.“Please,Jack.”

Heslidhisfingeroverherclitagain,andshegrabbedontothepillow,imploringhimtokeepgoing.

Hewasclose,soclose.Buthewaswaitingforher,teasingheruntilshewasbeggingforrelease.Jack

placedasteadyinghandonherhip.“Letitgo,baby.Comeformeagain.”

Carolineletoutatremblingwailasheglidedinandout,carefulnottohurther.Shespasmedaround

him,herkneesbuckling.Hecontinuedtomove,feelingeveryinchofher,relishingthecontractionscaused

byherorgasm.Shegulpedforairashecameinsideher,growlingandswearing,hisraggedbreath

confirmationthathewasjustasspentasshe.

Hepulledoutandplacedhispalmsonhershoulders.“Okay,sweetheart?”

Sherolledoverandgiggledlazily.“Thatwasawesome.Ithinkthere’sareasonwhyanalsexusedto

beagainstthelaw.It’stooenjoyable.”

Jacktossedthecondominthewastebasketnexttothebedbeforecurlingupnexttoherandkissing

thesideofherhead.“Howdoyoufeel?”

“Incredible.”Shehuggedhim.“Althoughmyasshurts.Fromthespanking,”sheadded.

“Withyourluckthey’llputyouinoneofthoseergonomicchairswithoutanypaddingtomorrow.”

Shit.Shehadn’teventhoughtofthat.“Inhindsight,thismaynothavebeenthebestplanrightbefore

startingadaylongdeposition.”

“Orlonger.”

Hewasright.Itwouldprobablytakemorethanadaytogetthroughhertestimony.“Wemayhaveto

layoffonsomeofthemoreintensesexytimesforthenearfuture,”shesaid.

“Finewithme.”Jacktweakedhernose.“I’lltakeitwhenIcangetit.”

“Dirtyoldman.”Sheyawned.“Tonightwasdefinitelyworththewait.”

“Ihopethismeansyou’reonthewaytoregainingyourboldnessinbed.”

Itwascertainlyeasierwhenhewasalongfortheride.“Icanjustheartheminthedeposition

tomorrow,”shesaid,takingonamockserioustone.“‘Ms.Gerard,didyoudoanythingtopreparefor

yourtestimonyheretoday?’‘WhatdidIdotogetready?Oh,alittlelightspanking,somesodomy.You

know,sameoldsameold.’”Carolinestartedtogiggleuncontrollably,rollingaroundonthebed,

continuingtolaughuntilshewaspracticallycrying.

“Youareasickpuppy.”Jackkissedherforehead.“Silly,sillywoman.”

“Hey,it’swhatreallyhappened.I’llbesworntotellthetruth.AndI’materribleliar.”

“Idon’tthinktheyneedtoknowanythingaboutwhatIdotoyouinbed.Itmaymakethemjealous.”

Carolinewipedathereyes,hergigglessubsiding.“Incaseyoudidn’tfigureitout,youhaven’t

missedabeatwhenitcomestothesexygames.Thankyou.”

Jackkissedheronthelips.“Ilivetopleaseyou.AndIlovemakingnewmemories.Memoriesthat

belongonlytome.Tous,”headdedquietly.

Carolineputherheadonhischest,snugglingcloser.Therewasn’tmuchshecouldsaytothat.

“Areyouscaredaboutmakingyourstatementtotheprosecutors?”hewhispered.

“Alittle.ImaynotwantyouintheroomwithmewhenI’mspeakingtothem,evenifit’sanoption.

Pleasedon’ttakethatpersonally.”

“Areyousure?”heasked.“Idon’twantyoutodothisalone.”

Carolineproppedherselfupononeelbow.She’dbrokendownsomeofherremainingpsychological

wallsinthebedroombutwasn’treadytoopenthedoortoeverylastdetailofwhathappenedatTheFed.

“Idon’t–itmakesmeuncomfortable.”

Jackkissedherforehead.“Iwantyoutofeelsafe.I’mgoingtoberightoutside,though,incaseyou

needme.”Hecoveredherupwiththeblanket,puttinghisarmaroundher.“Timeforyoutogetsomerest.

You’vegotalongdaytomorrow.”

ChapterSix

Concreteandglass.Tintedwindows.TherewasacertainsterilitytotheInternationalCriminalCourt,

abusinesslike,detachedvibeinthebuilding.Thereseemedtobelightwhereitwasneeded–inthe

lobby,thecourtrooms,commonareas.Acalmingconceptinaplacewhereanxietywasboundtorun

rampant.

Compartmentalize,Carolineremindedherself.Concentrateonthetaskathand.Organizeyour

thoughts.Practiceyourtestimony.Betteryet,distractyourselfwithinaneconversation.

ShenudgedJonesintheshoulder.“Youcleanupprettynice.”

Hespunaroundsoshecouldcatchthefulleffect.“Youdigthesuit,Princess?”

“Navybluepinstripe.Classy.”

Crunchlaughed.“JonesielikestheEuropeanshit.GigandIhadtodraghimoutofthemenswear

sectionbeforeheendedupwithawholenewwardrobe.”

“Youdon’tlookbad,either,”Carolinepointedout.

“Whataboutme?”Gigasked.

Thethreemenwerepressedandpolished.ShewonderedifJackhadslippedthemalittleextra

somethingfortheirwardrobebudgets,butwasn’tabouttoask.“Youalllookfantastic.”

“Makesupforourpersonalities,”Jonessaid.

“Younervous?”Gigaskedher.

Carolineshookherhead,butwaspleasedwhenJacknotsosubtlywrappedhisarmaroundher.“I’m

good.”

Jacksmiledatthemen.“Aren’tyougoingtotellCarolineshecleansupprettynice?”

CrunchranafingeralongthelapelsofCaroline’ssuit.“Sheshinesnomatterwhatshe’swearing.”

Niceofhimtoboostherconfidence.Thegesturehadnotgoneunnoticedbyherhusband,who

squeezedherhip.“Shallwegetthisshowontheroad?”heasked.

Carolinepattedherpurse,feelingtheoutlineofTom’swatch.“Nowornever.”

Theywereallinterrogatedseparately.Carolinewasn’tsurewhetherthey’dgetanythingusefuloutof

GigorJack,buttheinvestigatorsintendedtobeasthoroughaspossible.Shewasassuredthatifshe

neededherhusbandatanytime,he’dbeavailable.Powellwasinaholdingareaandwouldbedetained

forthenearfuture.Whatevershesaidwoulddeterminewhetherhetastedfreedomagainornot.

Theroomwasequippedwithacameraandotherrecordingdevices,markersandawipeboard,and

severaltablesandchairs.Carolinewasgivenwater,anotepadandpen,and–thankfully–anextremely

comfortablechair.Thewomanwhohelpedhergetsettledwasquitenice.HernamewasIrina,andshe

andherparentshademigratedfromtheformerSovietUnionandsettledinAlsace-Lorraine.Shespoke

fluentFrench,Russian,andEnglishandevenallowedCarolinetobrushuponherFrench,thoughshehad

tocorrectherafewtimes.

Carolinegrinnedsheepishly.“I’malittlerusty.”

“You’llgetbetter.AllofourlegalofficersarefluentinEnglishsoitwon’tbeanissue.”

Irinahadn’ttoldhermuchaboutwhowouldbeinterrogatingher.“I’llbespeakingwithanattorney?”

sheasked.

“Givenyourlevelofinvolvementandthepotentialsensitivityofthisinvestigation,wethoughtitwas

best.”

Huh.Wasspecialtreatmentgoodorbad?“Allright.”

Irinapattedhershoulder.“You’llbefine.I’llretrieveMs.Robles.”

Theyweredoingwhatevertheycouldtokeephercalm.Thatwasnice.

Herlegalofficerwaspetite.Blackhair.Lighteyes.MaybeCarolinecouldpretendshewasNatalie.

OrJen.

Jenny.

DefinitelyNatalie.

Thewomanextendedherhand,motioningforIrinatoshutthedooronherwayout.“BeatrizRobles,”

shesaid.

“CarolineGerard,”Carolinesaid.Butsheprobablyalreadyknewthat.Shereturnedthehandshake

anyway.

BeatriztossedafileonthetableandtooktheseatacrossfromCaroline.“Ihavetosay,Inever

thoughtI’dseeacitizenoftheUnitedStatesasanythingotherthananemployee.Eventhen,it’sararity.”

Intheearlystagesofhercareer,CarolinehadconsideredapplyingforapositionwiththeICC.Then

shemetNickyand…herprioritieschanged.“It’shardforAmericanstogetonhere,”shesaid.“Probably

becauseofthefederalgovernment’soddoppositiontoalmosteverythingrelatedtointernational

compacts.”

Beatrizpickedupthefile.“First,letmeassureyouthatalthoughtheUnitedStatesisnotapartytothe

RomeTreaty,jurisdictionwillnotbeanissueshouldweproceedwithprosecution.”

Man,shewasalittletoosmoothandbusinesslike.Didthiswomanputonaperformancewith

everyone,orjusther?She’dgottenalittleworseatreadingpeople.“Iknow,”Carolinesaid.

“Wehaveanumberofdifferentinvestigatorsquestioningyourcolleaguesaswellasthe…prisoner

youbroughtwithyou.”

“Defendant,youmean.”

“Thatremainstobeseen.”Beatrizflippedthroughthepages.“Normallywesendinvestigatorstothe

affectedareastoconducttheirresearchandcollectwitnessreportsbutasyouprobablyknow,thatisn’t

thewisestofmovesrightnow.”

“Iassumethat’swhyI’mhere.”

“Yes.”Theotherwomanshutthefile,slidingitacrossthetable.“Idon’twanttodiscourageyoubut

thishasbeenatoughsell.Itookthefilemyselfandhadtofighttoothandnailwithmysuperiorstogetit

thisfar.”

Aha.Herreticencehadnothingtodowithherfeelingstowardtheaccuserortheallegationsmade.

“Hardtogoafterthekidwiththebiggeststick,”Carolinesaid.

“Especiallywhenthekidisunstable.”Beatrizopenedthefile,motioningtowardthewritten

documentationCarolinehadprepared.“IgrewupinMexico.ReceivedanLL.MfromHarvard.Iam

intimatelyfamiliarwithboththeAmericanlegalsystemandinternationalcriminallaw.Thisinvestigation

isn’tjustabouthumanrightsabuses.It’saboutwhetherit’sworththepoliticalandlegalramifications

fromgoingafterthemostpowerfulnationintheworld.”

“So,whentheUnitedNationsspeaksofbeingaforceforpeaceintheworld,thatfailstoapplywhen

Americansareinvolved?”

“No,butitdoesn’thelpthattheU.S.withdrewtheirsignatoryfromtheRomeTreaty.Thatsenta

signal.Irealizetheargumentsforandagainstit,theprosandconsofbeingpartytoaninternational

system.Thepotentialforabuse.Buttheriskisminimal.Asyouknowfromourhistory,wedonot

undertakeinvestigationsunlesswetrulybelievetherehasbeenaviolationofthelaw.AndfortheUnited

Statestobeinvolvedasapotentialadversary,well…”

“Thepressure’son,iswhatyou’resaying?”

BeatrizsmiledwrylyatCaroline.“Ihavenodoubtyoucanhandleit.Butwe’regoingtoneedrock

solidevidencetomoveforward.ToindictthePresidentoftheUnitedStatesoranyotherhighranking

Americanofficialsforcrimesagainsthumanityisbothunprecedentedandunanticipated.I’msureyoucan

appreciatethehistoricalsignificanceofthesituation.”

Carolineshookherhead.“Ineverthoughtitwouldhappeneither.Yet,hereweare.”

“Iknowthisisn’teasyforyou.”Beatrizpattedherhand.“I’massumingthefewpagesofnarrative

youprovidedbarelyscratchthesurfaceofwhathappened,whichiswhyIwantedtotalktoyoumyself.

I’mgoingtoneedeverydetail,eventhemostinsignificantoffacts.Anythingandeverythingthatoccurred.

Ifyouhavetogivemeaminutebyminuteaccount,doit.Yourtestimonyisthemostpersuasiveevidence

wewillhave.”

“Howdoesthiswork?”Carolineasked.“ArewetalkingastandardQandA,orwhat?”

“I’llconductitlikeadeposition,forthemostpart.It’llbevideotaped.Yourtestimonywillthusbe

preserved,incase…youknow.”

IncaseIdosomethingstupidandgetmyselfkilled.Caroline’sreputationhadclearlyprecededher,

eventhoughrecordingdepositionswasstandardpractice.“Yeah,”shesaid.

“We’lltakephotosofanyinjuries,gostepbystepthrougheverydetailyouhave.Tellmeeverything,

nomatterhowminute.Ifyouremembersomethingelseafteryou’veansweredaquestion,makeanoteand

we’llrevisitit.”ShetappedonCaroline’snotepad.“IfyoustartwritingfranticallyI’llknowtoslow

down.Ifyouneedabreak,tellme.Ifyouneedmetorepeataquestion,tellme.Ifyou’rehungryortired

oranythingelse,tellme.”

Herrepetitionwasnice.Andintentional.BeatrizknewwhatCarolinehadgonethroughatTheFed.

Knewshe’dbeendeprivedoffood.Ofcompanionship.Ofhumandecency.Itwasmeanttosootheand

uplift.Carolinelikedheralready.

“SomeofthestuffI’mgoingtotalkaboutis…difficult,”shesaid.“Wemightbehereawhile.”

Beatrizsqueezedherhand.Agentlesqueeze.Reassuring.Andconfidentashell.“We’regoingtotake

allthetimeyouneed.”

Twoweeksofimprisonment,yearsofactivism…allcondensedintoafewdays.Seemedstrangeto

discussthedetailswithsomeoneshe’djustmet,butitalmostmadeiteasier.Thereweretimeswhen

Carolinewantedaconnectionwithsomeone–aNatalietolistenandinternalize,aJacktoknowwhenshe

neededaffectionandsupport–butitwasmucheasiertostaydetachedwhenshepretendedshewastaking

placeinalawschoolexercise.Aperformance.Playingarole.Thetricksshe’dusedsomanytimes

beforetoblockoutthesignificanceofwhatshewassayingorreadingordoing.

SheandJacksettledintoaroutine.TheyspenttheirdaysattheICC,theirnightsatthehotel.Onceor

twicetheywentouttodinnerbutroomservicebecamestandardpractice.Histestimonyhadfinished

quickly,sohewouldhangoutinthebuilding,readingabook,alwaysonstandbyforcareandcomfort.

GigdidsomeoccasionalsightseeingbutseemedtospendmostofhistimewithJack,whileCrunchand

Joneswerestillininterrogationroomsoftheirown.Maybetheyhadmoretosaythanshe’dthought.

EverymorningCarolinewouldplaceTom’swatchonthetable.She’dstudyit,patitoccasionally

whensheneededtorefocus.HerbehaviorprobablyseemedpeculiartoBeatrizbutsheneverquestioned

it.

Threedays.Threelong,exhaustingdays.Hoursandhoursoftestimony.Carolinewasrunningoutof

euphemismsandprettywords,whichmeantshewasreachingtheendofherstory.

Beatrizcheckedherownnotes.“RobertAllen.EllenGoldman.KathleenThalberg.Werethereany

otherpeopleyourecognizedinthere?”

She’davoideditthebestshecould.Thesamewayshecircumventedthoughtsofherchildren,of

whetherPowellwaslying,ofwhatSantosmightbescheming,ofhowJackhadsuffered,ofthecountless

otherswhomayhavebeentorturedandbeatenandkilled…

“It’sokay,Caroline.”Jen’svoicerangoutwithremarkableclarity.“I’mready.”

SheblinkedandsawJen’spetrifiedface.CarolineknewtheguardshadpurposelykeptJeninthe

clothingshe’dbeenwearingwhenshewasarrested,becauseitwascoveredinblood.Herblood,Eric’s

blood,Katie’sblood–whoknew?

Ascaredstiffappearancecoupledwithadefiantvoice.Herdear,fearlessJen.Carolinestarted

crying.“Iloveyou.I’msorry.Pleasedon’thateme.”

MurdockgaveCarolineonefinalsneer.“Anyotherpartingthoughts?Makethemcount.Iwantto

hearalltheprettywords.”

Shewouldn’tgivehimthesatisfaction.Hewasn’tgettinganythingmorethanhe’dalreadytaken.

“You’llrotinhellforthis,”shesaid.

CarolinefixedhereyesonJen,tryingtotellherwhatshedidn’thavethecouragetosay.To

apologizewithoutwords.Andshedidn’twantMurdockandtheotherstobeprivytosuchaprivate

exchange.Butsheknewshehadtosaysomething,evenifitwasbabblingnonsense.“I’msosorry,

Jenny,”shewhispered.“Pleaseforgiveme.”

JenglaredatMurdock.“You’renottheonewho’llneedforgiveness.”Shebroughthergazeback

toCarolineandtriedtosmile,tearsinhereyes.“Iloveyou.Icouldneverhateyou.Ever.”Hervoice

broke.“I’llhugKatieforyou.”

MurdocknoddedatFischerandhepulledthetrigger.AndCarolinefoundherselfscreaming

again.

Nataliewasright.Shehadtogetbetteratcompartmentalizing.ButtheICChadtoknow.Thetruth

couldn’tstayburiedforever,especiallywhenitinvolvedthemostdamningbitofevidenceinherarsenal.

Evenifitmeantshebecamealesscrediblewitnessbecauseofherinaction.

Youoweher.TellwhattheydidtoJenny.

“There’sonemorething,”Carolinesaid.“Andit’sbig.”

“Thenlet’sgettoit.”

She’dhavetotellJack.AndNatalie.Andanyoneelse.Someday,butnottoday.Carolinerubbedher

eyes.“Thistranscriptwon’tbepublicrecord,right?”

“Thevideowillbesealedfornow.Atsomepointwe’llhavetospelloutthefactsinanindictment

but-”Beatrizgaveheraknowingglance.“Youhavenothingtoworryabout.”

Nicethatshewasn’tpassingjudgment.Unlessshewasjustbetteratplayacting.Ms.Roblesknew

exactlywhatkindofshitpersonCarolinewas.

“Youdon’thavetorepeatanythingyousaidtome,ifyoudon’twantto,”Beatrizcontinued.

Carolineshookherhead.“I’dprefernottoholdapressconference,ifyouknowwhatImean.”

“Youdon’thavetotellanyone.”

Includingmyownhusband?Huh.Maybethiswomandidknowhowshefelt.“Noted.”

“There’sonemorething.”Beatrizswipedatherphone.“We’llneedtodocumentyourinjuries.We

candoitonthevideobutIpreferdigitalphotographs.”

“Pictures?”Carolineaskedblankly.

“Themorephysicalevidence,thebetter.Itallcorroboratesyourtestimony,”Beatrizsaid.

Oh.She’dmentionedthatearlier.HowcouldCarolinehaveforgotten?Shetuggedatthesleevesof

hersuit.Whatanicetimeforanervoustictoappear.“I–ismyhusbandaround?”

Beatrizpattedherontheshoulder.“I’llgogethim.”

Ittookmaybeaminuteforhimtoentertheroom.“Areyouallright?”

“Theywanttotakepictures,”shewhispered.

“Thatseemslikenormalprocedure,right?”

Maybebeingquestionedhadmadehimlosehisprotectiveedge.Heseemedconfused.“Canyoustay

inherewhiletheydoit?”shewhispered.

Hisexpressionsoftenedandhebroughtherintohisarmsforahardhug.“Ofcourse.Whateveryou

need.”

Therewouldbetwoorthreepeopleintheroom.Differentcameras.Differentangles.Alltaking

notes,writingdescriptions,keepingtrackofwhensandwheresandhows.

“I,uh,isitokayifIclosemyeyes?”Carolineasked.

“Youdowhateveryouneedtodo,”hesaid.“Doyouwanttostart?”

Carolinedefinitelyneededtoclosehereyes.Itmadeiteasierwhenthedoorcreakedopenandthe

footstepsstarted.I’mjustherewithmyhusband.Nobigdeal.

Beatrizspokeinalowvoice.“Wecanstartwheneveryou’reready.”

JackgrazedCaroline’sshoulderwithafinger.“Doyouneedhelp?”

Sheturnedaroundandbegantounbuttonhershirt.“No,butifyouwanttostandhereI’mnotgoingto

complain.”

Hervoiceshook.Henoticed.Jackkissedhercheek.“It’sallright,”hesaidsoftly.“They’reall

women.”

Somethingthathadundoubtedlybeendoneonpurpose.Shenoddedinunderstanding.

“Closeyoureyes,sweetheart.”Hegrabbedherhands.“Icandotheshirtifyouwant.”

Shewasnervousandnauseated,andknewtheclothingremovalwouldn’tbetheleastbitsexual.She

felthiswarmhandsonhershoulders.Hisfingersunhookingherbra.Sheheardhisvoice,sureandsteady,

clearandconfident.Itmollifiedher.Jackgaveherverbaldirections,occasionallybrushedhercheekor

squeezedherhandtoletherknowhewasnearby.Afewminutesofpositioningandphotographyseemed

totakemuchlonger.Thewomendiscussedwhattheywerephotographing,probablybecauseBeatrizwas

makingavideooftheentiresession.Pointingoutthelengthofscars,thecolor,thegeneralappearance.

Fillingintheblanks,notinghoweachinjurywascaused.

EachtimeCarolinewouldflashback.Shesawthehammer.Caughtthebuttofahandgun.Feltthe

ropesaroundherwrists.Theknifeacrossherchest.Acrossherstomach.

Andshe’dcounterit,compartmentalizingyetagain.RememberingthefirsttimeJackkissedherscars.

Howhestilldiditeverychancehegot.Howhemadeherfeelbeautifuldespiteherwounds.Shewas

dauntless.Indomitable.Strongassteel.

Theydocumentedthescarsonherbacklast,whichtookawhile.Measuringthelengthofeach,

detailingwhethertherewerebucklemarksorotheranomalies.Carolineclenchedherfists,blockedout

thedarkthoughts,anddidn’tshedafuckingtear.

“We’redone,”Beatrizsaidquietly.

CarolineheardherandtheotherstaffersretreatingasJackenvelopedherinhisarms.Thedoor

clickedshut.“We’retheonlyonesinhere,”hewhispered.“I’msoproudofyou.”

Sheopenedhereyes.“Isthatitfortoday?”

“Isureashellhopeso.Ithinkwe’vebeenthroughenough.”Hepickedupherbraandblouse.“How

doessomeroomservicesound?”

Sheslippedherclothesbackon,claimingasmallvictory.She’dsurvived.“Great.”

Thehotelfoodcontinuedtobebetterthananticipated.Exhaustedafteralatemeal,Carolinewas

restinginherhusband’sarms,decompressinginthemosteffectivewaypossible.“Thankyoufortoday.”

“Ofcourse,”Jacksaid.“ItoldyouI’dbetherewheneveryouneededme.”

“Itwashard,havingthemtakethosepictures.Ifeltliketheymustallhavebeenlookingatme,feeling

sorryforme,maybeevenjudgingme.”

“TheyallsawwhatIsee–courageandbraveryinthefaceofoverwhelming,incomprehensible

evil.”

“Iloveyou,”Carolinewhispered.

Hekissedher.“Iknow.Thepastfewdayshaven’tbeeneasy.”

Whatanunderstatement.She’dnotonlyreopenedoldwounds,she’dcutthemevendeeper.Shehoped

theywouldhealagain.“Ithelpstotalkaboutthisstuff.Alittle.”

“It’sstilldraining.”Hesqueezedherassgently.“Youdookaysittingdownthelastfewdays?”

Hisquestionwasaremindertheyhadn’tdoneanythingmorethancuddleoverthepastfewnights.

“Yes.You’regoingtohavetodobetternexttime.”

Hebitherneck.“I’malwaysupforimprovingmyperformance.Justnottonight.Maybewhenweget

backtoCalifornia.”

“Weshoulddofreakyshitineverycountrywevisit.Forposterityandpractice.”

“Ifithelpsyourelax,I’lldowhateveryouneedmetodo.”

Therewassomuchuncertainty.Somanyunknowns.Somanyquestionsthatneededanswers,evenif

shedidn’twanttohearthem.FleeingtoEuropewasaniceescape.Especiallyifreality,particularly

whateverwaswaitingfortheminCanada,didn’tworkoutasanticipated.“Partofmedoesn’twantto

leave,”Carolinewhispered.

“Despitethereasonwe’vebeenhere,it’sdefinitelyachangeofpace.”Jackrubbedhershoulders.

“ButIagreewithyou.There’sapartofmethatwantstostayheretoo.Maybetakealongtrainrideacross

thecontinent,findyouanicevillainFranceoracottagebytheseaandstaythereforever.”

Carolineclosedhereyes.“Thatsoundsnice.Tellmemoreaboutthecottagebythesea.”

“Thebeachwouldberightoutsideourdoor,”hesaid.“I’dgetyouaneaselandsuppliessoyoucould

paintanythingyouwanted.Wecouldtakeourshoesoffandwalkalongthewater,feelingthesandinour

toes.Atnightwecouldlayoutonablanketunderthestarsanddowhateverwewantedtoeachother.

We’dbetotallyisolated.”

“Youwouldn’twanttodoitduringtheday?”

“Well,”Jacksaid.“Idohavesomerespectability.”

Butnotmuch.“Tellmemore.”

“Therewouldberoomforagardenandyoucouldgrowwhateveryouwanted.Wecouldget

matchingVespasandrideintotownwheneverthemoodstruckus.You’dgetyourfilloffineEuropean

cheesesandchocolates.AndI’dgetyouahelmetwithflamesonitsoyou’dbethehottestmamaonthe

road.”

Hesoundedsoearnestlyexcited.Likehe’dreallythoughtaboutit.Itwascute.“Jack,really.”

“Youwouldn’tlikethat?”

Shecouldpracticallysmelltheseaairjustthinkingaboutit.“Itallsoundssoperfect.Ifonlythat

couldreallyhappen.”

“Maybesomeday.Whenallofthisisover.”

Finality.AtemptingconceptbutCarolineknewbetter.Astorycouldreachitsconclusionwithfar

fromthedesiredoutcome.Oritcouldlingerwithoutaproperdenouement.Thekindofendingthat

wouldn’tgivethemthesoulcleansingresolutiontheysodesperatelysought.“Doyouthinkit’severgoing

tobeover?”

“We’llkeepdoingwhateverweneedtodotofurthertheprocessalong,includinggoingtoCanada.”

Fantasiesaboutbeachlivingwereallwellandgood,butthey’dbothpreferamoregroundedlife

withtheirfamilyintact.“Thenwe’llhaveouranswer,”Carolinesaid.

“We’lldealwithitwhenitcomes,nomatterwhatitis.”Jackcaressedhercheek.“IknowI’vesaid

thismoreoftenthanyoucaretohear,butIaminaweofyou,”hesaid.“I’mgladyou’vegottentothepoint

whereyoufeelcomfortableenoughtoshareyourstory.”

“Maybeitwillbeenoughtogettheinternationalcommunitytodosomething.”Carolinewasn’t

holdingherbreath,though.NotafterwhatBeatrizhadtoldher.Theironicdoubleedgedswordof

centuriesofAmericanmilitarymight–oncepoliticalpowerwasinthewronghands,corrosive

circumstancesmadeitdamnhardforanyoneelsetowrenchawaythetorch.

“We’vealreadyheardrumblings,sweetheart.Thismayforcethemintoaction.”

“Italsomeanswehavetoexposeourselves.Fully.Notjusthere.We’dhavetogocompletelypublic.

Areyoureadyforthat?”sheasked.

“Thetribunalwillsoonbepublicknowledge.That’llbeenoughofahintthatwe’realive,I’dthink.”

Hisvoicewasalittletoohearty.Hehadhisreservations.Hell,sodidshe.Butshedidn’twantthe

weightlessnessoftheconversationtoend.Notyet.“So,oncethisisalloverwecanretiretoEurope?”

“Yes,MichaelandDianacanretiretoEuropeandeatnothingbutcroissantsanddrinknothingbut

wine.”

“I’dratherJackandCarolinebedoingit.Asthemselves.Withouthavingtohide.”Andwithour

children.

“We’llsee.”

Hewascomingdown.Theybothwere.Flirtingneverkeptallthedemonsatbay.“Onemoredayof

this,”shesaid.“HasSchroederheardanythingfromOttawa?”

“Alwaysthinkingaboutthat,huh?”

She’dbeenabletobanishthoughtsoftheirchildrentothebackofhermindwhileshefrettedover

theiroverseastravel,butthepracticalitiesofthenextpartoftheirjourneyseemedaneasyenough

transition.“Ofcourse.Aren’tyou?”

“We’llgetouranswers.”

“It’salmostMo’seighteenthbirthday,”shesaid.

“We’llknowbeforethen.”

Carolineshookherhead.“Whatareweevendoinghere?Whyisthishappening?Weshouldhave

beenpickingoutcolleges,talkingaboutprom,finallybreakingdownandgivingheracarthatwasmuch

tooniceforher,helpingherdoallthethingsshe’dalwayswantedtodo.Thisisn’tfair.”Hervoicebroke.

“WhatifI’mgettingmyhopesupfornothing?”

“We’llcrossthatbridgewhenwegettoit.Understand?”

She’dkeptittogetherformostoftheirtimeinTheHaguebutshe’dreachedherbreakingpoint.“I

missmyMoMo.Imissthemboth.”

Jackpulledhertohim.“Imissthemtoo,”hewhispered.

Sheweptagainsthischestuntilherthroatwasraw.“I’msorry,”shesaid.“Ishouldn’thavefallen

apartlikethat.”

Hekissedherforehead.“You’reallowedtoletyourpotboilover.You’llgetthroughthis,we’llgoto

Canada,andwe’llfindthetrutheitherway.”

Wouldthatgiveherclosure?“Igotyourshirtallwet.Again.”

“YoucanruineveryshirtIown.Idon’tmuchcareforthisoneanyway.”

“You’retoogoodforme.”

Jackwipedtheremainingtearsoffherface.“I’mstartingtobelieveyou.Justalittle.”

Shesnuggledcloser.“Canyouholdmeforawhile?”

“Forever,”hesaid.

Carolinesleptsoundly,cradledinherhusband’sarms,therhythmofhisheartbeatlullingherinto

slumber.Whensheheardvibrationssheraisedherhead,confused.

“Whatisthat?”sheaskedhoarsely.

Jackfumbledaroundthenightstand.“Phone,”hemumbled.“Turnedtheringeroff.”

“Whattimeisit?”

“Late.Early.Whatever.”

Thelightfromthescreenpokedthroughthedarkness.Sherolledoverinaweakattempttopreserve

herhalf-sleepystate.“What’sgoingon?”

“Situp,”hesaid.“Now.”

Carolinerubbedhereyes.“Thisbetterbegood.”

Hehandedherhisphone.“Seeforyourself.It’sfromSchroeder.”

Sentyouagreatoffer.Pleasereadimmediately.Takingavacay.

Shecockedherheadathim.“Caretotranslate?”

Jackputthephonefacedownonthenightstand,yawning.“Wehaveafewhoursbeforewecanhead

overtotheICC,”hesaid.

Heseemedremarkablycalm.Whatthehell?“Seriously,Jack.”

“DocumentssenttoTheHague.SchroederisenroutetoSchiphol.”

“Whatkindofdocuments?”

“Iassumeithastodowithourvisas.IfwecangostraighttoCanada,sobeit.”

“Whydidn’thejustsaythat?”

“Youneverknowwhat’sbeingmonitored.”

“Butthatwasunnecessarilycryptic.”

“Don’toveranalyze,Caroline.”

Sheglancedatthealarmclock.Therewasnowayshe’dbeabletogobacktosleepnow.“Whattime

doyouthinktheystartservingbreakfast?”

“Probablynotforalittlebit.”Jackslippedhishandunderhershirt.“Icoulddistractyoufora

while.”

Goodluckwiththatone.“I’dliketoseeyoutry.”

“Suchincredulity.”Herolledontopofher.“I’mgoingtospendthenexttwohoursprovingyou

wrong.”

ChapterSeven

“Doyouthinkhe’shere?”Carolineasked.

“It’salongflight.Probablynot.”

“Buthesentsomethingahead.Right?”

Jackpressedherhandbetweenbothofhis.“I’msureBeatrizwillbeabletotellus.”

Sureenough,shewasheadedtowardtheminthehallway,astackofpapersinherhand.“You’re

goingtowanttolookatthis.”Beatrizwavedthemintoaconferenceroom.“Heavilyencrypted,sono

dangerofhacking.”

Thatwasstrange.Maybeitdidn’thavetodowiththeirvisas.

Jackflippedthroughthepages.“Whatisthis?”

“Seeforyourself.I’llleaveyoutwoalone.”Beatrizbackedoutthedoor,shuttingitbehindher.

CarolinestaredatJack.“Isitourtravelplans?”

Hisexpressionchangedashereadthefirstpage.“No,”hesaidquietly.“It’ssomethingelse.”

Shegrabbedthepapersoutofhishand.Theheadlineread:AmericanEx-PatsEagerfor

InternationalInterventioninHomelandCrisis

InthemonthssinceAmericanrebelsreleasedclassifiedmaterialsdetailingtheactivities

oftheSantosAdministration,internationalleadershaveenteredintoavigorousdebate

whethertointerveneintheembattlednation’stroubles.ThenowindependentCalifornia

Republichastakenavitalroleinprovidingaidandcomforttotherevolutionarieswhohave

triedforthepasttwoyearstoexposeLorenzoSantos’behaviortotheworld.

WhenSantosfirsttookoffice,therewasnoreasonfortheinternationalcommunityto

believehewoulddoanythingmorethanrecentAmericanpresidentstoisolatetheUnited

Statesfromtherestoftheworld.Asrumorsofrepression,persecutionofpoliticalenemies,

anddisappearancesofthewealthiestAmericansstartedtospread,manyoutsidetheU.S.

chosetoletthecountryflounderonitsown.

Oppressiveexecutiveordersregardingreclamationofwealthandprogramsconscripting

LGBTQ+personsandreligiousminoritiesforquestioningandpsychologicaltreatmentwere

signedafterninemonthsinoffice.Thelegislativeandjudicialbranchesofthefederal

governmentwerelargelynonfunctioning.Alliancesformedbetweenradicalsocialistsand

fascists,PosseComitatus,sovereigncitizens,communists,anarchists,andotherfringe

reactionaries.Theyfoundawelcomehomeinanewrepublicwhereeveryonewhospokeout

wasanenemyandeveryonewillingtosnitch,anally.

RebeltroopshavebeenorganizinginanunknownlocationinCalifornia,although

detailsoftheirplansarespotty.Clearly,theirmaingoalinreleasingthedocumentswasto

maketheworldawareofSantos’trueintentionsuponascendingtothepresidency.Amongthe

mostexplosiveallegations?ThattheRepublicanSantosandleftwingSenatorBernard

Gunderson,aknownsocialist,conceivedtheassassinationofthen-PresidentRichard

Hendricksshortlyafterhewasswornintooffice.SantosselectedGundersonashisVice

PresidentaftertheshockingattackonHendricks,vowingtobringthenationtogetherby

bridgingthegapsbetweenpoliticalextremes.

ClassifiedCIAdocumentsdetailingthisconspiracywerereleasedtotheCBC,BBC,al-

Jazeera,Reuters,andotherinternationalnewsorganizations.Numerousinternalrecords

fromAmericanprisonfacilitiesindicatethatfederallawenforcementagentstorturedand

executedhighprofilepoliticiansandmembersofactivistmovements.

Scoresofgovernmentworkers,formerelectedofficials,andotherasylumseekershave

beenwelcomedbytheCanadiangovernment.AlargenumberliveandworkinOttawa.Many

havebeengivenprotection,financialassistance,andothermeansofsupport.Manyofthem

havestrongfeelingsaboutthedocumentstherebelshavereleased.

“Thetimehascomefortheinternationalcommunitytobecomemoreinvolvedinthis

situation,”saidAmericanex-patJoshuaDelaney.“ThoseofuswhofledtoCanadawantto

returnhome.Weloveourcountry.Wewanttoseeitrestored.Canadaandothernations

shouldlendtheirsupporttotherebelsinanymannertheycan.”

DelaneywasapresssecretarytoformerUnitedStatesSpeakeroftheHouseRobert

Allen,whomdocumentsshowwasexecutedafterextensiveinterrogationatafederalholding

facilityinWashington,D.C.Hewasnottheonlyhighprofileprisoner.Numerousmembersof

theAmericanCongress,theirstaffers,andotherpoliticaldissidentswereallhousedthere.

Nonearebelievedtohavesurvived.

OneofthemostprominentpublicfiguresheldatthefacilitywasformerUnitedStates

RepresentativeCarolineGerard.SheservedintheU.S.HouseofRepresentativesforsix

yearsbeforeretiringtoaidherhusband,JohnMcIntyre,thenafellowmemberofCongress,

inhisquesttobecomegovernoroftheCommonwealthofPennsylvania.

McIntyresucceededinthatendeavorandwasinauguratedtwoandahalfyearsbefore

Santoscametopower.Bothself-identifiedpoliticalmoderates,GerardandMcIntyrewere

thetwomostoutspokencriticsoftheSantosAdministration.Itisnowbelievedtheywere

clandestinelyaccumulatinginformationsimilartothatrecentlyreleasedbytherebels.

Accordingtoleakeddocuments,GerardwasapprehendedinaruralforestinPennsylvania

anddetainedfortwoweeksasfederalagentsattemptedtoobtainintelligenceregardingthe

rebelmovement.Shewasexecutedafterrefusingtoprovideinformation.McIntyre’slocation

isunknown,butheispresumeddead.

Shortlybeforeshewascaptured,Gerardentrustedherchildrentothecareofherclose

friend,formerUnitedStatesSenatorChristineSullivan.Sullivanandherfamilytookcustody

ofthegirlsandwereintentonseekingrefugeinCanada,believingGerardandMcIntyre

wouldsoonfollow.TheywereambushedwhileapproachingthebordercrossingatFort

Covington,NewYork.Sullivan’shusbandThomasanddaughterJessicawerekilledbyU.S.

BorderPatrolofficersafterthefiveAmericansfledtheirvehicleinanattempttocross

throughtheforestintoQuebeconfoot.

Equippedwithnothingbuttheclothesontheirbackandafewmeagersupplies,Sullivan

andGerard’sdaughterstrekkedacrosstheboundarybetweenNewYorkandQuebec.They

struggledthroughnearblizzardconditionsuntiltheymadecontactwithlocallaw

enforcementinDundee.TheyweregrantedasylumandprotectionbytheRoyalCanadian

MountedPolice,byorderofthePrimeMinisterofCanada.Whiletheiridentitiesand

locationhaveremainedasecretuntilrecently,theyarenowwillingtospeakwithreporters

abouttheirordeal.

Gerard’soldestdaughter,MargueriteBaumann,willturneighteeninMarch.Sheisa

poisedyoungwomanwhosedemeanorreflectshermother’sinfluenceaswellasthatof

Sullivan.SheexpressesheraspirationstofindtheAmericanrebelsorinthealternative,

receivepermissiontojointheCanadianForces.Althoughshehadheldouthopethather

parentshadsurvivedthebrutalityoftheSantosregime,shetoldusshewasnotsurprisedher

motherhadbeencapturedbyfederalagents.Weaskedherhowshefeltaboutthedocuments

releasedbytherebels.

“Myparentsweredoingimportantwork.Theirprimaryconcern,asidefromtheirtwo

children,wasalwaysthewelfareofthepeopleoftheUnitedStates.Mymotherdedicatedher

lifetoworkingforjusticeanddefendingfreedom.CarolineGerarddiedapatriot.”

SenatorSullivanhasasimilarperspective.“CarolineandJackfoughtforthe

cornerstonesofAmericandemocracy.ItismysincerehopethattherebelsinCalifornia,

aidedbytheinternationalcommunity,willbringourhomecountrybacktoitsmostbasic

values.”SullivantearsupasshespeaksofGerard.“CarolinereveredtheUnitedStates

ConstitutionandtheRuleofLaw,andwhatshelearnedaboutSantosandhisintentionswas

terrifyingenoughthatshewaswillingtolaydownherlifeinordertotrytopreventhimfrom

devastatingthecountryfurther.IhopethatthevalorCarolineandothersshowedintheface

oftremendousadversityandpersonaljeopardywillbeenoughtoinspireglobalgovernments

tobecomemoreinvolvedinthisbattle.”

Gerard’syoungerdaughter,SophieBaumann,isalmostfourteen.Sheisquietandshy,

butunfailinglypolite.Whenaskedabouthermotherandstepfather,shesimplysaid,“Imiss

themandIlovethem.ButI’malsoproudthattheystoodupfortheirconvictionsuntilthe

veryend.”

Margueriteisbyfarthemoreoutspokenofthetwosiblings,butbothofGerard’s

childrenresembleherinmanyways.AccordingtoSullivan,Sophieinparticularhas

struggledwiththeconfirmationthattheirmotherwas,infact,killedbytheAmerican

governmentshededicatedmuchofherlifetoserving.

“It’sbeenhardforher,”Sullivansaid.“Forbothofthem.Theywereveryclosetotheir

parents.Theyholdtheirmotherinthehighestregardforhavingthecouragetodowhatshe

did.Wearealldeterminedtomakesurehereffortswerenotinvain.Wewanttogohome.”

SullivanleadsasmallcoalitionofformerAmericanpoliticiansandstaffersresidingin

Ottawa.Theirgrouphasincreasedlobbyingeffortstoencourageworldwideinvolvementin

overthrowingtheSantosregimeandreturningAmericatoitsproperstatusasademocratic

republic.Onlytimewilltelliftheywillsucceed.ButthankstotheAmericanrebels,theyhave

muchmorecompellingevidencewithwhichtomaketheirarguments.

Carolinehadstoppedreadingseveraltimes,afraidhertearswouldblurthearticle.Afraidtospeak

forfearshewouldlosecontrolofheremotions.Herhandshadbeenshakingsohardthatshe’dhadtoput

thepaperdownonthetable.Shecouldn’tbelievewhatshewasreading.

TomandJessandtheirforeversmilingfaceswereindeedgone.They’dgiventheirlivesforher

children.Shetriedtosuppressthatfreshgrief,triednottoimaginewhathergirlsandChristinehadgone

throughtomakeittoOttawa.Allshewantedtofocusonwasthattheywereliving,breathing,andinone

piece.

Jackthrewhisarmaroundher,andeventhoughhewascryinghewaslaughingtoo.“They’realive,

baby.They’realive.”

He’dbeenreadingoverhershoulder.Carolineputherheaddownonthetableandbegantoweep.

“Wehavetogothere,”shesaid,hervoicemuffled.“Iwanttoseethem.Allofthem.”

“We’llfigurethatout.TheU.N.canhelp.”

They’ddamnwellbetter.CarolineletJackholdher,onlybringingherheadupwhenBeatrizpoked

herheadin.

“Everythingallrightinhere?”sheasked.

Jackflappedthepapersintheair.“Isthereanyreasontobelievethisarticleisn’tlegit?”

BeatrizsatdownnexttoCaroline,pattingherontheback.“Idon’tthinkso.Therewasno

documentationwithit.Tomyknowledge,ithasn’truninthepapers.Wewouldhaveheardaboutitifit

had.”

“Itcan’t,”Carolinesaid.“Notnowthatwe’vegivenourtestimony.Itputsthemattoomuchrisk.We

havetogettoCanadaimmediately.”

“Iunderstand.”Beatrizstartedtypingonherphone.“Idon’tknowthestatusofyourvisasbutperhaps

wecanmakealternatearrangements.”

TherewasnowayCarolinewasgoinganywhere,whetheritwasCaliforniaorWashingtonorMars,

withoutgettingherasstoCanadafirst.

“Weneedtocharteraflight,”Jacksaid.“Isthatanissue?”

“Itwon’tbe,”Beatrizpromised.“Quitehonestly,Idon’tseehowanythingyoudowon’tresultin

someinternationalaction.”

“OurassistantwasintheprocessofmakingarrangementstogetusameetingwiththePrime

Minister,”Jacksaid.“BeforehetrackedthisdownandgotonaflighttoAmsterdam.”

Beatrizkepttyping.“Besuretotellhimthatindictmentsareforthcoming.”

Carolinetiltedherhead.“Thedecision’sbeenmade?”

Theotherwomannoddedather.“Notsureabouttheextentofthechargesandthedepthofeach

narrative,butwehavesolidcasesagainstMr.Powell,Mr.Murdock,andofcourse,PresidentSantos.We

shouldhavewarrantsinthesystemwithinafewdays.”

“DoyouknowwhereMurdockis?”Carolineasked.

“We’veheardrumors,”shesaid.“Butwedon’tknowanythingforsure.”

“IassumedhewasstillinWashington,”Jacksaid.“Butweneverknowwhat’saccurateandwhat

isn’t.”

“Hecouldbeanywhere,”Beatrizsaid.“We’veheardhintsthatGundersonisnolongerVice

President.Wedon’tknowwhoreplacedhim.Youlikelyhavemorereliableinformationthanwereceive

hereinEurope.There’snowayofknowingexactlywhat’sgoingonintheUnitedStates.”

“Exceptnowyouhavesomeonewillingtospeakaboutwhathasalreadyhappened,”Jacksaid.

“Yes.Thankstoyourwife.”Beatrizstoodup.“LetmeseeifIcancheckonthestatusofincoming

aircraftfromCalifornia.Wouldthatreassureyoualittle?”

Carolinewasflyinghighregardless.“CanyoushowSchroederinwhenhearrives?”

Beatrizbackedoutthedoor.“Iwill.Doyouneedanythingelse?”

“We’refine,”Jacksaid,buttherewasanedgetohisvoicethatgrewevensharperwhentheir

assistantappearedacoupleofhourslaterinfulluniform.Carolinewonderedifheownednormalclothes.

“I’msorry,”Schroedersaidbreathlessly.“IgothereassoonasIcould,didn’twanttosaytoomuch.”

“Yousaidpracticallynothing,”Jacksnapped.

Carolineputherhandonhisshoulder.“Jack,calmdown.Lethimexplainhimself.Youhaveno

reasontobemadathim.”

Jackwavedthepapersaroundagain.Allthatwaitingandhehadyettoletgoofthem.“Ihaveevery

righttobemad.”

“Youweren’tmadatmeorBeatriz.”

“You’renotatfault.”

“Don’tpickaneasytargetbecausehe’sstandinghere.We’vehadastressfulweek.”

Jackpushedherhandaway.“Youaregoingtotelluseverythingyouknowaboutthisarticle,opinion

piece,whateveritis.”

SchroedersmartlytookachairasfarawayfromJackaspossible.“ItwassupposedtoruninThe

GlobeandMailthisweekend.Iconvincedmycontacttohavethenewspaperpullitback.”

“Bullyforyou.How’dyouswingthat?”Jackasked.

“Itoldthemitwouldcompromisetherebellion,”Schroedersaid.“Ididn’tbreatheawordaboutyou

orCommanderGerard.”

“Whyarewejusthearingaboutthisnow?”

“I’vebeensearchingforweeks,sir.Goingthroughmycontactsingovernmentandthemedia.I

didn’t-”

“Howthehelldidn’tweknowthismonthsago?Thisarticlecouldn’thavebeenwrittenovernight.

Especiallyiftheinformationiscompletelyaccurate.”

“I’msorry,sir.InlightofwhatIfeelisaderelictionofmyduty,I’mpreparedtooffermy

resignation.”

“Good,”Jacksaid.“Caroline,givehimyournotepadsohecanmakeitofficial.”

Heneededtoslowdownorhe’dgivehimselfananeurysm.Carolinesteadiedhishand,removingthe

papersandputtingtheminhercoatpocket.“Jack,takeadeepbreath.”

“Iwillnot.CaptainSchroeder,I’dtellyoutogetusonthenextflighttoCanadabutitappearsasif

theU.N.isexpeditingourvisas,whichismorethanwhatyouwereabletodo.”

Schroedergavehimaremorsefullook.“Sir-”

“Ican’tbelievewedidn’tknowaboutthis.Wehavefuckingspiesupthere.”

CarolineputherhandonJack’sshoulderagain.Asafegamble,shethought.“Don’ttakeyourangerat

yourselfoutonsomeonewhodoesn’tdeserveit.Stop.”

“Twoyears,Caroline.They’vebeenuptheretwoyearswithnowordandallofasudden,weonly

findoutwhentheirlocationandidentitiesmightbecompromised?Thisisunacceptable.What’sthepoint

ofhavingcontactsiftheyaren’tstraightwithus?”

“Sir,”Schroedersaid.“Theyhavebeenstraightwithus.Ouroperativesdidn’thavethatkindof

clearance.Hardlyanyonedoes.”

“That’snotgoodenough.”

“ItwasthebestIcoulddo,sir.Thatwecoulddo.”Schroedertookadeepbreath,pullinganenvelope

outofhispocket.“Ihavealreadydrawnuparesignationletter.Youarefreetodischargemefromthisunit

orreassignmetoapositionthatbettersuitsmyabilities.”

Hewasdeferential,remorseful,andreasonable.EvenwhenconfrontedwithJack’suncontrollable

anger.“Don’tberidiculous.It’snotyourfault,”Carolinesaid.

Thelookonherhusband’sfaceindicatedhewasdisinclinedtoagree.“Thehellitisn’t.Thisisa

colossalfuckup.”

“It’sbeenremedied.Thereisnooneelseonbaseremotelycapableofdealingwithusonaregular

basis.Especiallyyou.”Shesmiledslightly.“Andthere’snofuckingwayI’mgoingtotakeoverhis

duties.”

Schroederremainedexpressionless.“Thankyouforyoursupport,Commander,butIthinkthisis

best.”

“Iagreewiththecaptain,”Jackgrumbled.

“YouthinktheCanadiangovernmentknewforcertainwhethertheycouldtrustourmen?”Caroline

askedhim.“ForGod’ssake,Jack,it’snotliketheyknewwewererunningtheshow.Theyhadno

obligationtogiveusthatkindofsensitiveinformation.”

“Weshouldhavebeentold,”hesaid.“Whatuseareourconnectionsiftheycan’tgetusthatsortof

valuableintelligence?”

“Highlyclassifiedintelligence,”Carolinepointedout.“Theyhadnowayofknowingtheintimately

personalreasonsbehindourrequests.”Tearswelledinhereyesagain.“Theyprotectedourchildren.And

Chrissy.Wecanlettheirlackofcandorslide.”

“Weshouldhaveknown,”hesaid.“Itwasn’tfairtoyou.”

Andhimtoo,ifhisfuriousresponsewasanyindication.“Othergovernmentsowemenodutyof

anything,”shesaid.“Don’tmakethisaboutuswhenit’snot.Theydon’tknowwe’realive.”

“Theywillsoonenough.”Jackcaressedhercheek.“Idon’tliketothinkaboutallthatwastedtime.”

Shedidn’twanttothinkaboutiteither.Notwhenshecouldmoveforward.“Wecanremedyitnow.”

Schroederhandedhertheenvelope.“I’mverysorry,ma’am.”

Didhethinkshe’dactuallyaccepthisresignation?Sherippeditintwo.“Irefusetocastblamefor

somethingthatisn’tyourfault.”JackcursedunderhisbreathandCarolinescowledathim.“Youthink

you’regoingtofindabetterassistantthanCaptainSchroeder?”

“Caroline-”

“Well?”

“No,”hesaidquietly.

ShehandedthetwohalvesoftheenvelopebacktoSchroeder.“I’msureyouknowhowtodisposeof

this.”

“Yes,ma’am.”

“We’llneedyoutogobacktoCaliforniatohandlethingswhilewe’reinOttawa.”

“Yes,ma’am.”

“Michael-”

Schroedersmiledather.“Yes,Caroline.”

Jackthrewhishandsintheair.“DoIgettosayanything?”

“Notifyou’regoingtobeadickaboutit,”shesaid.

Herhusbandshookhishead,butshesawhimtryingtohideasmile.“CaptainSchroeder,gofindMs.

RoblesandcheckthestatusofourcharterflighttoOttawa.”

CarolinepokedhiminthechestwhenSchroederlefttheroom.“Wereyouthismuchofanassholeto

yourstafferswhenIwasn’taround?”

“Allthedamntime.”Hesighed.“Ishouldgotalktohim.”

“Yes.Youshould.Justletyourselfcalmdownfirst,”shesaid.“Youremotionsaremorelikelyto

manifestinangerthansadness.It’sokay.”Shestaredatthearticleagain.“Thisisreallyreal.”

Jackwipedhiseyes.“Looksthatway.Onlyonewaytofindoutforsure.”

Holyshit,whatamorning.“I–they’realive,”shesaid.

Hesmiledather.“Thenlet’sgogetthem.”

ChapterEight

Theyfinalizedandreviewedtheirstatementsbeforegoingbacktotheirhotel.Jackwentintoaroom

withSchroederforabouttwentyminutes,soCarolineconsideredthesituationresolved.Theirchartered

flightwasscheduledtodepartthenextmorningwithGig,Jones,andCrunchtravelingalongwiththem.

MountieswouldbewaitingattheairporttotakethemdirectlytoameetingwiththePrimeMinister.

“You’regoingtohavetosleepontheplane,”Jacksaid.“Bringyour‘A’gametoOttawa.”

They’dbeentryingtostaylight.Airy.Fresh.Forthemostpart,they’dsucceeded.Althoughshewas

antsyaboutflyingandevenmoreanxiousaboutwhatthey’dfindinCanada,Carolinefeltjoyful,almost

buoyant.

“Imakenopromises,”shesaid.

“IthinkMs.Robleswassadtoseeyougo.”

Theattorneyhandlinghercasehadgivenherahalfhugbeforesheleft.Completelyunexpected.

“Maybe.Guessshegotattachedtome.”

Hekissedhercheek.“That’seasy.”

Carolinezippedhersuitcaseshut.Shewasalmostdonepacking.Therestcouldwaituntilmorning.

“Todaywasprettygood.”

“I’dsay.”

“Hopefullywe’llhavemoredaysjustlikeit.”Shepickedhisglassesupoffthedesk.“Iknowyou

hatethesebutthey’resuchaturn-on.”

“Oh,really?”

Carolinesatonhislap,puttingtheframesinplace.Sheassessedherhandiworkwithacriticaleye,

adjustingthemslightly.“Theymakeyoulookincrediblyintellectual.”

“AreyouimplyingIwasn’tintellectualbefore?”

“Oh,youare.Buttheglassesaddatouchofsexy.”

“Don’tyoumeannerdy?”

Shebackhandedhisshoulder.“Iusedtowearglasses.”

Henippedatherneck.“LasersurgerywasthebestthingIeverconvincedyoutodo.”

“That’squiteastatement,consideringeverythingelseyou’vesuckedmeinto.Imissmyglasses

sometimes.Easytohidebehindthem.”

Jacktuckedherhairbehindherear.“Ibetsometimesyouwishyoucouldfadeintothebackground.

What’llittakeforyoutofeelsafeagain?”

Themilliondollarquestion.“There’snomagicfix.”

“Doesn’tstopmefromworkingatit.”

Protective,doting,alpha,andstillincrediblyintuitive.Carolinetuggedplayfullyathisgoatee.

“You’regoodatplayingtheintrospectivecollegeprofessor.Maybeit’stimetoadmityou’reacloset

liberal.”

Heslidtheglassesdownhisnoseandwaggledhiseyebrows.“I’dprefersternheadmaster.”

Subtle.Verysubtle.“Doesthatmakemethelonelyteacherdreadfullyinneedofaman?”

“It’sourlastnighthere,”hesaid.“Wanttomakeitcount?”

“Let’ssee.Theworstofourtripisover,we’regoingtoCanada,ourchildrenarealiveandwaiting

forus…Ican’tthinkofabettertimetocelebrate.”

Jackskimmedafingeracrossthetopbuttonofherblouse.“Icompletelyagree.”

“I’mnotoneforinterdepartmentalaffairssoI’dprefertobetheflunkingstudentseekingsome…extra

credit.”

“Naked,flunking,hornystudentisfine,”hesaid.“Icanbethelecherousanthropologyprofessor,

usingmyintellectualabilitiestoproperlyevaluatemystudents.”

Carolineunzippedherskirt.“Pervert.”

“Takeiteasywiththoseclothes.Itoldyou,they’regoingwithus.”

“Wantmetostartwearingeveninggownsandbusinesssuitsonthebase?”

Jackpulledherontohislapeventhoughshewasstillhalfdressed.“Onlywhenwe’realone.”

“I’mnotnakedyet.”

“Soonenough,”hesaid,stillingherhandwhenshemovedtounhookherbra.“Leaveyourblouseand

braonfornow.Halfnakedissexierthannoclothesatall.”

“Really?”

“Ifwe’replayingoutthefantasy,yes.Yougototheprofessor’soffice,waitforhim,startundressing,

andhewalksinand…”

“Catchesmeinamoment?”

“Youfoundhissecretstashofancientcavedrawings,whichareoneofyourmanykinks.”

“IliketotouchmyselfwhilelookingatNeanderthals?”

Heshrugged.“It’syourfetish,notmine.”

Shewriggledonhislap.“I’dliketothinkshehasaseriousoralfixation,notacavemanobsession.

Bothhavetheirmerits.”

“Wouldthatbeapenchantforreceivingoral?”

Carolinestartedsuckingonhisneck.“No,”shewhispered.“Althoughthathasitsmoments.”

Jacktoyedwiththecollarofherblouse.“Areyousure?”

Sheslidoffhislapontothefloor,rubbingherfingersupanddownhislegs.“Icanshowyou.”

“Sweetheart-”

Hewasgoingtoturnherdownafterthatenticingdiscussionoffantasyandfiction?Shefumbledwith

hisbelt.“I’mmadyoudidn’tgetanysuspenders.”

“Caroline,youdon’t-”

“Ido.Iwant.Iwill.”Shepulledthebeltoffloopbyloop,tossingitbehindher.“Idefinitelyneedto

earnsomeextracredit,soI’llbegoingallout.”

Jackgroanedwhensheslippedherfingersintohiswaistband.“AslongasIendthenightinsideyou,

Idon’tfuckingcare.”

Hedidn’tmeanhermouth.Shit.Thatwasn’tpartofherplan.Carolinesatbackonherknees.“Iwant

togiveyouthewholeshow.”

“Youdon’thaveto.”

Shetookaseatonthebednexttohim.Timetofaceanothersexuallyawkwardsubject.“Allright,you

forcedmyhand.Jack,whydon’tyouletmefinishwhenI’mgoingdownonyou?You’vemadeitclear

howmuchyouenjoyit.”

Hetooktheglassesoff.“Iusedallthosewomen,Caroline.BeforeImetyou.”

Atleasthedidn’thavetothinkaboutitverylong.“We’vetalkedaboutthat.I’mnotthem.Andyou’re

notthatmananymore.”

“Itreatedthemterribly.Lettingthemsuckmycockbeforekickingthemoutofthehouse.Usingthem.

Debasingthem.Makingthemfeellikedisposableobjects.ItwasmuchworsethanwhatIrepresentedto

you.InevercoercedthemintodoinganythingbuttheymusthavefeltlikeIdid.Howcouldn’tthey?”

“Haveyoualwayshadthisperceptionofyourbehavior?”

“Forawhile.ItalkedtoNatalieaboutit.”

Yetanotherburdenhe’dbeencarryingalonefortoomanyyears.“Youcan’tchangethewayyou

acted,andyoucan’tchangethewaytheyresponded,eventhoughIthinkyourinterpretationisincorrect.

ButyoucanacceptthatthereasonIdoitisentirelydifferent.”

“Whydoyoudoit,then?”

“BecauseIloveyou,”Carolinesaid.“Whydoyougodownonme?”

“BecauseIlovethewayyoureacttoit.Ilovetastingyou,bringingyoupleasure,lovingyou.”

“Can’tyouseehowthey’rethesamething?”

“Doesn’tfeelthesame.”

“I’mgladyourecognizethepowerandcontrolissuesintertwinedwithoralsex,butyou’re

overanalyzingthataspectofourrelationship.”Carolineletoutaharshbreath.“Trynottofocuson

anythingotherthanwhatoccursbetweenthetwoofus.Youhaveneverdegradedmeorforcedmetodo

anythingIdon’twanttodo.”

Hepulledhertowardhim.“Ibelieveyou,”hesaidsoftly.“ButI’mafraidI’llgetcarriedawaywhen

you’redoingit.ThatI’llhurtyouorturnitintosomethinglessthanloving.Ican’talwayscontrolmyself

whenI’maroundyou.”

“You’renotananimal,Jack.”

Heunironicallybitatherneck.“Sometimesyoumakemereactthatway.Webothlikeroughsex.

Frequently.”

“Ifyoueverstartedtoactinamannerthatmademeuncomfortable,Iwouldmakeyoustop.AndIlike

whenyoucan’tkeepyourhandsoffofme.”

Jackslidhishandunderhershirt.“SometimesIcan’t.”

Hewantedtogettothepromisedlandbutshewasn’tgoingtolethimthroughthegatewithoutalittle

effort.“Youpoorman.WhatwasitlikewhenIwouldn’tgiveyouthetimeofday?”

“Ijackedoffeverymorningandnightthinkingaboutyou.AboutwhatIwantedtodotoyouifIgot

youalone.”

Thatsoundedperfectlywicked.“Well,”Carolinesaid.“I’lltakethatasacompliment.”

“Allthosefantasiesinvolvedyouasawillingparticipant,”Jacksaid.

Hisexplanationwasaweebittoohasty.“I’llbet.”

“Ineverwanttobeanythingotherthanagentlemanwithyou.”

Andyetshe’dneverclaimedtobealady.“Yourinstinctsareusuallydeadonwhenitcomestome.”

“Doesn’talwaysfeelthatway.”

“Theyare.Believeme.Iwanttoactoutsomeofthosefantasiesyouhad.Afterall,wedon’twantour

sexlifetogetstale.”

Jackpulledhertoherfeet.“Thathasneverhappened.AndyousayI’mthepervert?”

Carolinewinkedathim.“Apervertedmanneedsanequallypervertedwoman.”

Hepressedapalmtooneofherbreasts.“I’msogratefulyou’rewithmenow.Wegettomakeupfor

allthatlosttime.”

Shelethimremoveherblouse.“Igetincrediblyturnedonwheneveryoutellmehowmuchyou

missedme,”shewhispered.“MayIshowyouhowmuchImissedyou?”

“Iguessso,”Jackmurmured.

She’dalreadydistractedhim.Good.Carolineunbuttonedhisshirt,pullingitoffandremovinghis

undershirt.Shekissedherwaydownhisstomachtohislowerabdomen.“Gositonthatchair.”

“What?”

“Youheardme.”Shesmiledcoylyathim.“Youcanleaveyourpantson.I’mquiteindustrious.”

Jackstumbledovertothedeskchair.“Seeingyouoffyourgameiskindoffunny,”shesaid,straddling

hislap.

“ThisisnothowIimaginedthisplayingout.Ithought-”

“Youthoughtcorrectly,”Carolinesaid.“We’regoingtocoverthegroundrules.”Didn’thurtto

correlatethisgamewiththeonethey’dplayedacoupleofnightsbefore.“First,you’renotgoingtohold

back.Understand?”

Jackclosedhiseyes.“Yes,ma’am.”

“Oh,that’sanicetouch,Monty.Ilikethat.”

“Iwasbeinggentlemanly.”

“Whatever.Second,IgettofinishyouanywayIwant.Isthatokay?”sheasked,pressingherhand

againstthegrowingbulgeinhispants.

“Yes.”

Carolinekissedherwaytohisear.“I’mgoingtogivethistoyou.Youcantakeitanywayyouwant

andnotfeelguiltyaboutit.Isthatclear?”Shepulledbacktolookathim.“Iloveyou,Jack.Iwoulddo

anythingforyou,butrightnowIreallywanttodothis.”

Sheslidoffhislapandontothefloor,kneelingbetweenhislegs.Jackstrokedherhairandshe

lookedupathim.

“Iloveyou,baby,”hesaid.

“Iknow.”Carolineunzippedhimslowly,foremphasis.Shepulledhiscockoutofhisboxersand

tookhiminhermouth.

Hegroaned,louderthanshehadanticipated.Itdidn’ttakelongforhimtoadjust,andsoonhishands

werefistingherhair,slowlypressinghertowardhim.Shetookhimdeeper,gettingintoarhythm.She’d

pullbackslightlybeforepushingforwardagain,untilhewasalmostentirelyinhermouth.

“Jesus,Caroline,”hegrowled.“Keepgoing.”

Jackunconsciouslytuggedatherhair,andsheclosedhereyes.She’dmaybetakenhimthisfaronce

ortwice,buthe’dalwaysstoppedherbeforehegottoodeep.Ifshewasgoingtofinishthisshehadto

paceherself.Shepulledback,catchingherbreathasherhusbanduntangledhisfingersfromherhair,heat

inhiseyes.

“Youlookedincrediblejustnow,”hesaid.

Carolinelickedherlips,strokinghislength.Silkysmoothandhardasarock.Hiscockwasbeautiful.

“Youwantmetokeepgoing?”

Jackthrustintoherhand.“Please,baby.”

Shewatchedhimmove.Hekeptasteadytempoasshetightenedhergrip.DearGod,hewassexy.

“Doit,”shewhispered.“Dothattomythroat.”

Hecaressedherhair,trailedhisfingersuntiltheyreachedhercheek.Pressedhisthumbtoherlips.

Hiseyeshooded.Hisbreathshallow.Hestoodup.“Iwantyoulikethis.Stayonyourknees,facingme.”

Carolinestraightenedupandplacedherlipsonhiscock.Hishandswereatthebackofherhead

again,fistingherhair.Hepressedintohermouthandshedidn’tstophim.

“Fuck,”hesaid.“Takeit,baby.Takeallofit.”Hecontinuedtopushdeeper,gentlybutwithpurpose.

Carolinegrabbedontohispants,movingherhandsaroundtohisasstoencouragehimfurther.Hereyes

werewateringandshewantedtochokebutthelookonhisfacekepthergoing.

Jackmovedslowly,deliberately,cursingandgrunting.Hewastryingtomakeitlastandfailing

miserably.

“Iloveyou,Caroline,”hegroaned,anddroveintohermouthafinaltime,spurtingdownherthroat

beforecollapsingontothechair.

Jackrubbedhiseyes.“Thatwasunbelievable.”Hezippedhispantsandpattedhislap.“Getuphere

now.”

Carolinescrambledup,hugginghimtightly.“Thatwasnice,”shesaid.

Hechuckled.“Youremainthequeenofunderstatement.”

“MyGod,thewayyoureacted.Ican’tevendescribeit.”

Jackkissedherdeeply.“Ican.Mightbemostlygruntsandboorishnoises,butIcanarticulateitfor

you.”

“Ibetyoucan.”

Hetracedhisfingeracrossherlips.“I’mnotsureI’mtheoneincontrolinthisweirdsexualdynamic

wehavegoing.”

“I’mnotsureIam,either.Acoupleofsuckers,weare.Depraved,degeneratesuckers.”

“Yougonnaletmereciprocatelater?”heasked.

“Maybe.Yougonnafuckmesillyafterwards?”

Jackpickedherupandheadedtowardthebed.“We’lldefinitelygetthere.”

ChapterNine

“Areyouokayflyingcommercial?”Carolineasked.

Schroedercheckedhisticketagainbeforeshovingitintohisbag.“I’llsurvive,ma’am.I’mmore

concernedthatyou’reinthemainterminalinsteadofwiththecharters.”

Alwayswiththeexposure.Shedidn’tneedanyremindersthatshewasnevertoofarfromharm.“We

wantedtoseeyouoffproperly.”

SchroedercockedhisheadatherbeforebrieflyglancingatJack.Maybethattwentyminuteclosed

doormeetinghadn’tgonequitethewayCarolineenvisionedit.

“Okay,Iwantedtoseeyouoffproperly,”shesaid.Onawhim,shesteppedforwardandembraced

him.“Thankyou.”

Hepulledback,beetred.“You’rewelcome.”

Jackextendedhishand,somewhatreluctantly.“We’llbeintouchoncewemeetwiththePrime

Minister.”

“Understood,sir.”Schroedermotionedtowardthegate.“Ishouldgetgoing,asshouldyou.Safe

travels.”

CarolinegavehimalittlewaveassheandJackwalkedaway.“Ilikehim,”shesaid.

“Youappeartohavewonhimoveraswell.Isthereanyonewhodoesn’tlikeyou?”

TheentireSantosAdministration.Sheloopedherarmthroughhis.“It’smygreatestskill.”

“Asidefromkickingmenin…certainplaces?”

“Indeed.”

“Weshouldgetoutofhere,”Jacksaidquietly.“Nosecurity.”

“It’sashortwalktotheotherterminal.”

“Doesn’tmatter.”

They’dhavethosewhimsicalmomentswhenthey’dalmostfeelrelaxedbeforeoneorbothofthem

wouldsinkbackintoreality.She’dstiffen,orhe’dtightenhisarmaroundherwaist.They’dpickupon

eachother’ssignals.Wouldthatfeelingofdreadanduncertaintyeverfullygoaway?Shesqueezedhis

armalittletighter,laughingwhenhedraggedherintoacornerandkissedherdeeply.Maybehewasn’tas

anxiousasshe’dthought.

Shepulledback,breathless.“Whatwasthatfor?”

“Areyoucomplaining,Diana?”

Thenamewasclueenough.Sherememberedthegame.“No,thatwasverynice,dear.Whatwasthat

for?”

Jackcradledherheadinhishands,verycarefullypositioningthemfurtherdownthehallway.“Didn’t

youseehim?ThatwasDouglasLangladeontheconcourse.”

Theformerminorityleader?Theoneshe’dbuttedheadswithonadailybasiswhileinCongress?

She’dbeentryingnottomakeeyecontactwithanyone.Focusingstraightahead.Watchingthesunlight

throughthewindows.Countinghersteps.Carolinesteppedawayfromhim,stupidlytryingtocatcha

glanceofthepeoplewalkingby.“What?”

Heyankedherback.“No,don’tdothat.Hemightrecognizeus.”

Shefrowned.“Iassumedhewasdead.”

“AsdidI.Andwehavenoinklingwhathisallegiancesare.Hemightbeaspy.”

Hell,she’dneverfiguredoutifhewasfriendorfoewhileshewasintheHouse.Anynumberof

incentivescouldhaveseriouslyalteredhisloyalties.“Whatdowedo?”shewhispered.

“We’regoingtolaylowforawhile.”

“Butwehavetogettotheterminal.”

“Thatcanwaitafewmoreminutes.”

Shebattedhereyelashes.“Whateverwillwedotopassthetime?”

Jackpushedherupagainstthewall.“We’regoingtobethatmadlyinlovecouplewetalkedabout.

Theoldermarriedfolkswhocan’tkeeptheirhandsoffeachother.”

“Ithoughtweagreedtobetheindifferentcoupleonasomewhatmagicalgetaway,”shesaid.

“That’swhatyousaid,”hemurmured.“I’mallforsecondhoneymoon.”

Itwasn’tdifficulttoactthepart,knowingtheirdestinationandthereasonforit.“Makingoutina

hallwayisn’texactlythebestwaytolaylow.”

Jackkissedher.“Youtalktoomuch.”

Shewasquitewillingtolethimshutherup.Theycouldspendafewminuteslockinglips.Canada

wasonlyaflightaway.

Jonespointedoutthewindow.“Afraidyourluggageain’tgonnagetthere?”

Shemighthavebeenobsessivelytrackingthecrew’severymoveastheyreadiedtheplanebefore

boarding.“Ihaveallthoseprettysuitsnow,youknow.”

Heputhisarmaroundher.“Youtakeoneofyourmoodpillsalready?”

Carolinerestedherheadagainsthischin,justforaminute.Jackwouldn’tmind.“Hasn’tkickedin

yet.”

“You’llbefine.”

“Iknow.”Shegavehimalittlehug.“Wehaven’ttalkedinforever.HowwasyourtimeinThe

Hague?”

“Could’vebeenworse.Youdidallthehardstuff.IjusttoldthemwhatlittleIknew.”

Whichwasalot,asfarasshecouldtell.“You’veseensomeshit,bothinandoutofTheFed.”

“Can’tdomuchtochangethat.Justgottakeepmovingforward.”

Suchwisewords.“You’remyfavoritefortunecookie,”shesaid.

“DoesthatmeanI’mtheScarecrow?”

“Nah.”Shepunchedhimintheribs.“You’restilltheCowardlyLion.”

“You’remean,”hesaid.“I’msittingasfarawayfromyouaspossible.”

“Youshouldn’tdothat.Youwon’tseememuchonceweland.”

TheCanadiangovernmentwantedtokeeptheirarrivalasinconspicuousaspossible.Jones,Gig,and

CrunchwerestayingindowntownOttawa,bunkingupwithafewMountieswhoprovidedprotectionto

thePrimeMinister.Shedidn’tknowwheresheandJackwerestaying,butitwouldbeairtightandsecure

ashell.

“I’mstuckwithCrunchandGig,”Jonessaid.“Niceplanning.Hell,can’tyoutakeonebodyguardto

whereveritisyou’regoing?”

“Notachance,”Jacksaid,sidlinginbetweenthem.“YoudeserveabreakandtheMountiesneedto

earntheirpay.”HekissedCarolineonthecheek.“It’salmosttimetoboard.Youokay?”

Maybesheshouldhavemadeanannouncementthatshe’dtakenherdrugs,theywerekickingin,and

she’dbefine.Butshemerelyshruggedandleanedinforatotallygratuitoushug.“I’mgood.”

Herockedherbackandforth,hiseyestowardthewindow.“ThenIbelievewehaveaplaneto

catch.”

ChapterTen

“I’mnervous,”Carolinesaid.

“Justbeyourself,”Nicksaid.“Folkswillloveyou.”

“Votersloveme.Otherpoliticiansfindmenaïveandsuspiciouslypleasant.”

“No,theydon’t.Imetwiththeotherfreshmanspousesearliertoday.”Hegrinnedather.“The

ladiesseemedtolikemewellenough.”

Ofcoursetheyhad.“Didyouflirt?”

“Justabit.Areyoujealous?”

“Notatall.Ididn’tgetthatJudiciaryassignmentbybeingawallflower.”

Herhusbandtookherhand.“Charmgetsyouplaces.Let’sgoinside.”

They’dbeenflittingfromeventtoeventforthepastfewdays,commutingtoD.C.together.Mostof

thenewlyelectedrepresentativesandtheirspouseswereholingupinhotelsbutsheandNickyhad

spenteachnightintheirownbed.AlltheHousefreshmenseemedtobequitefriendly,althoughlooks

couldbedeceiving.Carolinehaddoneherresearch.Afewofthemeninparticularweretoo

conservativeforhertaste.SomeoftheDemocratsweretooliberal.Shehopedshe’dfindherown

niche,evenifthatentailedsearchingoutsidethebox.

“Wewon’tstaylong,”shesaid.

“Don’tcare.Istherebooze?”

“Atamixer?Ihopeso.”

Nickchortled.“Someofthoseantiquatedtermsareadorable.”

Shecouldpracticehercharmbeforetheymadetheirappearance.“Likeme?”

Hekissedherlightlyonthelips.“You’rethemostadorablememberofCongressever.”

Theroomwascrowded.Ugh.Carolinedidn’tmindpeoplebutshedidn’tliketightspaces.She

didn’tlikeclosetalkerseither,andsomemalefreshmenfloatedalittletoonearherdiscomfortzone.

Butthatwashowitworked.Menmadetheirpresenceknown.Womentriedtofadeintothewoodwork.

Carolinewasdeterminednottofallintothesametrap.SherepresentedasafeDemocraticdistrictbut

hadnoideawhatthefuturemightbring.Shecouldbeaone-termwonder,couldgetbouncedoutbya

moreprogressiveorbetter-fundedcandidate.Shewasanupstartandanunknownwhichmeantshewas

vulnerable.Ifsheonlyhadtwoyearstoaccomplishsomethingofmerit,shewasgoingtogetstartedas

soonaspossible.

“Ineedadrinkforthis,”shesaid.

Nickgesturedtowardthebar.“Moscatooramaretto?”

“Whatever’seasier.”Shescannedthecrowd,searchingforfamiliarfaces.Afewfolkswavedat

herbutshewasdrawntoawell-builtmaninthecorner,hisfingerswrappedaroundabottleof

Berghoff.Thegoldpinonhislapeldancedagainstthelighting.Shemarchedovertohim.Thiscould

definitelybeherscene.

“MonogramClub,”shesaid,pointingathisjacket.

Hetippedhisbeerather.“Veryimpressive.Youspottedthatfromacrosstheroom?”

“IwenttolawschoolatNotreDame.”

“ANotreDamelawyer.DoubleDomer?”

StandardslangfortwoormoreNDdegrees.“Nope.Marquetteundergrad.”

Henodded.Didthatmeanheapproved?Themanswitchedhisbeertohislefthand,extendinghis

right.“Jesuitsarebetterthannothing.ThomasSullivan.”

Carolineshookit.“CarolineGerard.”MonogramClubmeantvarsityathlete.Sturdyframemeant

contactsport.Andhisnamewasfamiliar,whichmeant…“Youplayedfootball.”

“Idid.Goodguess.”

“IwatchedyouplaywhenIwasyounger.”

“Muchyounger,I’dassume.”

Shedidthemath.“Gradeschool,maybe?”

“Soundsaboutright.”

“Youwerereallygood.Whydidn’tyougopro?”

“Messedupmykneeduringthecombine.Didn’tseemworththehassle.Torturedmyselfbygoing

tomedicalschoolinstead.”

“So,it’sDr.Sullivan?”

“Onlyifyou’reapretentiousasshole.It’sTom.”

CarolinewavedatNickyfromacrosstheroom.“That’smyhusband.Ifyouaskhimnicelyhemight

grabyouanotherbeer.”

Tompressedthebottletohislips.“I’mgood.”HepointedatNickwhenhearrived.“Berghoff.

Finetaste,youngman.”

Carolinetooktheamarettosourshewasoffered.“Nicky,thisisTomSullivan.Playedfootballat

NotreDame.Tom,thisismyhusband,Nicholas.”

Nickshookhishand.“CallmeNick.She’sprobablybeentalkingyourearoff.SorryIcouldn’tget

heresooner.”

“Nickylikesbeer,”Carolinesaid.“EspeciallyopenbarHousefreshmanmixerfreebeer.”

Tomtippedhisbottleagain.Itwasalmostempty.“Oddlyenough,sodoI.”

“Helikeshuntingtoo.Didn’tyougrowupinOhio?”

Nicklaughed.“Caroline,don’tscaretheman.”

Tompattedhershoulder.“It’sfine.Notcreepyatall.”

“Idon’t,like,stalkpeopleoranything.Ijustrememberweirdstuff.”

Hesmiled.“Itoldyou.Notabigdeal.Yes,IamoriginallyfromOhioandNick,incaseyouwere

wondering,Ialsoenjoyshootingthingsandeatingthemlater.”

“Anddrinkingbeerwithsaidconsumptionofanimals?”Nickasked.

“Indeed.”

NicknudgedCaroline.“Ilikethisguy.Tom,youwantanotherbeer?”

Tomhandedhimhisemptybottle.“Whynot?Surpriseme.”

“Youcangetmeanotherdrink,”Carolinesaid.“I’llknockitback.”

“Careful,”Nicksaid.“Youmayhavetodrive.”

Notlikely.Shewasacheapdate,alreadyfeelingthebuzz.“Gimmemybooze.”

Heturnedtowardthebar,walkingpastablondwomanwithasourexpressiononherface.

“Christine,”Tomsaid.“Iwonderedwhereyou’dgottenoffto.”

“Iwasspeakingwithafewnewcolleagues,”shesaidcrisply.SheturnedtoCaroline.“Whomight

yoube?”

IttookCarolineaminutetorememberherownname.Brusquenessalwaysthrewheroff.

“CarolineGerard,”shesaid.“Maryland.WelivejustuptheroadinRockville.Idon’tremember

seeingyouatanyotherevents.”

“Mywifelikestohide,”Tomsaid.

“Idonot.I’vemerelybeenkeepingtomyself.”

“She’sshy,”heinsisted.

Thatwasn’tthewordCarolinewouldhaveused.“Well,it’snicetomeetyou.”

Thescowlthatgreetedherindicatedthefeelingwasn’tmutual.“You’reaDemocrat,Iassume?”

Christineasked.

“Trueblue.Notthatthepartyapprovesofme.Ibeatalongtimeincumbentintheprimary.”

“Shit,”Tomsaid.“ShedefeatedGoyer.Hewasinthatseatforwhat…twentyyears?”

Carolineknewshe’dbeenluckyashelltowin.“Twenty-four.”

Christinegaveheranappraisinglook.“Impressive.”

Carolineglancedaroundtheroom,lookingforNicky.ShesawChristineloopherarmthrough

Tom’soutofthecornerofhereye.Damn.Didthatwomanthinkshe’dbeentryingtopickupher

husband?DidshenotseetheringonCaroline’sfinger?Shedidnotwanttodealwiththatkindof

bullshit.Shewasfriendswithmen.Goodfriendswithmen.Andneveroncedidshethinkaboutfucking

them.Okay,maybeonceinawhile,butthatwasatotallynormalheterosexualfemaleresponse.Right?

Nickmarchedupbehindher,tappingherontheshoulder.“Anothersour,mydear.”

Carolinetookasip.“Whiskey?Really?”

“Yousaidtosurpriseyou.”

“Tomsaidtosurprisehim.”

Nickhandedsomeobscuremicrobrewtotheotherman.“Oh,right.”

Herhusbandcouldsmooththebumpsintheroad.Healwaysdid.“Nicky,thisisChristine

Sullivan,”shesaid.“From–uh,IguessIneveraskedwhereyouwerefrom.”

Christineglancedathernails.Weretheyboringher?“BrynMawr.OutsidePhiladelphia.”

Nickcockedhisfingerlikeagun.“GottabeRepublicans.”

Tomlaughed.“Obviously.”

“Idon’tknow,”Nicksaid,hisvoicesober.“AreweallowedtobefriendswithRepublicans,

Caroline?”

Theyneededtotaketheirshowontheroad.“Ofcourse.Christine,didyougotoNotreDame

too?”

“Caroline’sabitobsessedwiththeIrish,”Tomsaid.“Claimsshe’salawyer.”

“Ididnot,”Christinesaid.“IwenttotheUniversityofMichigan.”

BeingalawyerandNotreDamegradwasclearlynotenoughtogetonChristine’sgoodside.

“Oh,”Carolinesaid.“Thatmusthavemadeforanawkwardfirstdate.”

“Wewereinmedicalschool,”Christinesaid.“ItoldhimthecadavershadmorelifethantheIrish

offense.”

Coldandaloofwithahintofsardonichumor.Carolinecoulddigthat.BasedonNick’sstiffening

posture,hedidnot.Hetookanothersipofhisbeer.“Youwanttominglesomemore?”heasked.

Carolinetappedherfingeragainsthercheek.“I’llstayhereforabit.Youwanttoworkthe

crowd?”

Nicksureashellwouldn’twanttoschmoozepoliticosalone.Hehatedthatshit.“No.”Heturned

toTom.“TellmemoreabouthuntinginOhio.”

Herhusbandletoutalowwhistleoncetheyreachedtheircar.

“What?”Carolineasked.

“Shewasstonecold,wasn’tshe?”

Carolinedecidedtoplaydumb.PoorNicky.He’dsloggedthroughtwentyminutesofsmalltalk

whileshenursedherdrink.Onpurpose.WhiletryingtopullanswersoutofChristine.“Who?”

“ThatSullivanwoman.Herhusbandwascool,though.”

“Ilikedher.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah.”

“Didn’tyouseethewayshewasglaringatyou?”

“Sheonlydidthatforaminute.Ithinkshe’skindofpossessiveofherhusband.”

“Whydidn’tyouglarebackather?”Nickasked.“You’vegotprimemanmeatrighthere.She

mighthavetriedtostealmeaway.”

“Shebarelyspoketoyou.Maybeifyou’dtalkedaboutsomethingotherthanbeerandBambi.”

“Maybeshewouldhavelikedyoumoreifyou’dtalkedaboutsomethingotherthanfootball.”

“Itriedtoengageher,”Carolinesaid.“WhileyouandTomweretalkingmicrobrewsorsome

crap.”

“Yeah,speakingofTom,couldyouhavemadeyoursportscrushalittlelessobvious?You’regoing

tolookuphisstatsassoonasyougethome,aren’tyou?”

Shecouldmesswithherhusband.Theywereusuallybothinonthejoke.“IwasgoingtoGoogle

himinthecar.”

“Jeez,”Nicksaid.“Ithoughtyouweregoingtoaskhimtoflexforyou.Gottastopmakingitso

obvious,hon.”

“Nicky,hewasagreatplayeratNotreDame.IthinkhewastouchedIrememberedhim.Andhe’sa

reallyniceguy.”

“That’stheonlyreasonI’mlettingyougetawaywithyourfawning.OtherwiseI’dbeconcerned.”

“Wasitthatobvious?”IfNickhadnoticed,maybeChristinewasaspossessiveassheassumed.

SometimesCarolineforgotthatherdefaultcharmingandinquisitivebehaviorcouldbeviewedas

intrusive.

“Yeah,butIknowitwaspurelybasedonhisstatusasaformerNotreDameathlete,notbecause

you’regoingtorunawaywithhim.”

“Hardly,”Carolinesaid.“Youwereright.Christinewasshootingmeadeathstarewhilewewere

talking,wasn’tshe?”

“Shewas,”hesaid.“Ithinkweknowwhothepeoplepersonisinthatcouple.”

Thatwastoosimplisticananalysis.RepresentativeSullivanhadbeenelectedforareason.There

hadtobesomethingthere.Carolineheardtheclickofthelockandslidintothepassengerseat.“I’m

goingtoaskhertolunch.”

“Really,Caroline.You’vemetalltheseoutgoing,charmingpeopleandyou’regoingtomakeyour

connectionswiththatwoman?”

Again,overlysimplistic.Shewantedtomakehermarkbutwasn’tabouttosacrificeheridentity.

“Nicky,it’snotaboutconnections.I’mnotheretoplaygames.Iwanttobefriendswithher.”

“Whatisthis,gradeschool?Peopledon’tgotoCongresstomakefriends.They’remorelikelyto

losethem.Andshe’saRepublican.Youdon’tagreeonanything.”

Basedonthedisdainfullooksandthedisapprovingtone?Probably.“Doesn’tmattertome.Ilike

her.Ican’texplainit.”

Nickpursedhislipsashepulledoutoftheparkinggarage.“Whatever.Hangoutwiththatsenator

wemetfromCalifornia.Ellenwhat’sherface.”

PoorNicky.Hedidn’twanthertogethurt.Hehadn’tenjoyedthenastinessofthecampaignand

knewitwouldonlygetworse.Butshecouldhandleit.“Ellen’stoomuchlikeme.Idon’tneedmore

peoplelikeme.Iwanttobechallenged.”

Nickpulleduptoastoplight.“Youareanoddducksometimes.”

Carolineleanedovertokisshim.“That’swhyyouloveme.”

“Justbecareful.Youdon’tknowwhoyoucantrustinthatplace.”

“IthinkIcantrusther.”Shesqueezedhishand.“Thanksforcomingtonight.”

“Anythingforyou,”hesaid.“Andifyouhavetomakenicewithher,atleastmakeherhusband

tagalongtoo.Tellhimtobringbeer.”

Thebeginningoflunchcouldnothavebeenmoreawkward.CarolineandChristineplacedtheir

orders,sayingverylittletoeachother,thetensionpalpable.Thewaitertooktheirmenusandreturned

withtheirdrinks.FinallyChristinespoke.

“Yourchiefofstaffmadeitsoundlikethiswasagroupthing.”

Thetruthwasboundtocomeoutsometime.“Shelied.”

Christinecarefullyplacedhernapkinonherlap.“That’swhyshecalledinsteadofyou?”

“Yes,”Carolinesaid.“Iamaterribleliar.”

“Shedidyourdirtywork.”

“That’swhatstaffersarefor.”

Christinefoldedherhands.“Haveyoubeenherebefore?”

Herlunchcompanionwantedtomoveontosimple,blandtopics.Hopefullyshedidn’tthink

Carolinewascompletelyunethical.“Jenrecommendedit,”shesaid.“Idon’tknowmywayaroundthe

cityjustyet.”

“Don’tyourepresenttheMarylandsuburbs?”

Christinehadbeenlisteningduringthemixer,despitehereffortstopretendotherwise.“Iseeyou

werepayingattention,”Carolinesaid.

“IwantedtoknowwhatIwasgettinginto.”

Theicequeenwasmelting.Hertonewasalittletoodefensive.“IneverworkedinDCbefore

now,”Carolinesaid.“Nickyworksclosetoourhouse,butoccasionallyhastogotoBaltimoreor

northernVirginiaformeetingsandsuch.Hehatesthetrafficaroundhere.SodoI.”

“Youdriveineveryday?”

IfChristinereallywantedtoknowaboutthecommute,they’dbethereallafternoon.“Imightstart

takingthetrain.Maybe.Makesithardertobeflexible.Whataboutyou?”

“IhaveanapartmentneartheCapitol.Andadriver.”

BrynMawr.Twodoctors.Madesense.“Oh.That’snice.”

“It’snotunusual.”

Hadshesoundedjealous?“Iwasn’tcriticizing,”Carolinesaidquickly.“Itwasabenign

observation.”

“Isee.”

MaybeChristinedidn’tliketalkingaboutmoneyeither.“How’sTom?Nickyreallylikedhim.He’s

convincedthey’relike,beersoulmatesorsomething.”

“Icouldtell.Allthattalkofmicrobrewsandfootball.”Christineshookherhead.“Men.I’m

surprisedtheydidn’tstarthighfivinginthemiddleoftheroom.”

Carolinegrinned.“Ilovesports.Doyoufollowanyteams?”

“IwenttoMichiganforundergrad.”

Shemusthaveforgottenthatshe’dmentionedheralmamaterduringthemixer.Carolinedecided

tohavealittlefun.“I’msoverysorry.”

“Excuseme?”

“NotreDame.Michigan.Youknow.Rivalryandall.YouvoluntarilymarriedaNotreDameman?”

Christineshifteduncomfortably.“Yes.”

“AreyoubigontheWolverines?”

“Mostlyfootball.Alittlehockey.Idon’tmuchcareforsports.”

Didthiswomanlikeanything?“NoTigersorRedWings?PhilliesorFlyers?”

Christinemadeaface.“No.Absolutelynot.”

“Doyouthrowlikeagirl?”

Christinelookedatherasifshewereverystrange.“Iplaytennis.That’saboutit.”

Aconnectionatlast.“SodoI.Iplayedinhighschool.Doyouhavearacquethere?”

“No.”

“Youcanborrowoneofmine.Wehavecourtsinourneighborhoodifyou’dliketorallyor

something.”

Christinestirredherstrawinherteaglass.“Yes,becausemembersofCongresshavesomuchfree

time.”

Ooh,ajoke.Shemadeajoke.“Igetthefeelingtheydon’tdomucharoundhere,”Carolinesaid.

“Thismayactuallybelessstressfulthanmyoldjob.”

“Whichwas?”

“Federalprosecutor.”

“Oh.”Christinegazedatherthoughtfully.“Wouldhaveassumedpublicdefender.”

“Myheartdoesn’tbleedthatmuch.”

“Isee.”

“Iliketobeunpredictable.”

“Likehavingyouraidesmisleadyourcolleagues?”

Sheseemedreallyhunguponthat.Why?Carolinedecidedtoswitchgears.“Areyoufrom

Michiganoriginally?”

Christineeyedherwarily.“IgrewupinFlint.”

RepresentativeSullivanhadtobeabouttenyearsolderthanCaroline,whichputheradolescence

andearlyadulthoodsmackinthemiddleofthedeindustrializationoftheAmericanautomotive

industry.“Oh.Thatmusthavebeen…hard.”

“Itwas.”Hertonemadeitclearthatwasallshewasvolunteering.

“AndyoumetTominmedicalschool?”

“Yes.AtPenn.”

AnelitepubliclandgrantuniversitycoupledwithanIvyLeaguegraduateprogram.Christine

Sullivanmayhavebeenaloof,perhapsevenstandoffish,butshewasnotunintelligent.“Whatkindof

medicinedidyoupracticewhenyouwerearealperson?”Carolineasked.

“Realperson?”

Christinefoundherterminologypeculiar.FarfromthefirsttimeCarolinehadreceivedthat

response.“Idon’tthinkCongresshasverymanyrealpeople,doyou?”

“Probablynot.”

“Areyougoingtoanswerallmyquestionssotersely?”

Christineactuallysmiled.Veryslightly.“Maybe.”

Carolinewasn’tgoingtogetanywherewiththischickifshecouldn’tgethertorelax.“Youknow,

youmightenjoyyourselfmoreifyoulightenedupalittle.”

NowChristinelookedoffended.“Whatdoyoumean?”

“You’rereallyreserved.Youshouldbeenjoyingthis.You’vegotthisgreatopportunityin

Washingtonandyoushouldmakethemostofit.”

“IsthatatactfulwayoftellingmethatI’mabitch?”

Yes.“Idon’tknow,”Carolinesaid.“Areyou?”

“Whatdoyouthink?”

“Youdon’tanswerquestionsandyou’reprettyreservedsoIwouldsaymostpeoplewouldthink

youare.”

“Whatdoyouthink?”

“Ilikeyou.Evenifyouhaveshittytasteinschools.”

Christinestaredatherteaagain,andCarolinewasn’tsurewhatelsetosay.

“Iwasinfamilymedicine,”Christinefinallysaid.“Nothingtooglamorous.”

“Butit’snecessary.Hardlyanyonegoesforthatanymore.Notenoughmoney.”

“Thomasisasurgeon.Tookalittlefinancialpressureoff.”

“IfIaskyouformedicaladvice,willyougiveittome?”

“No.”

Basedonherclippedtone,shemusthavegottenthatquestionalot.“Oh.Okay.”

“Areyougoingtoconductthisentirelunchlikeit’sajobinterview?”Christineasked.

“Seemstobeworkingsofar.”

“Ihaven’tbeenabletoaskyouanything.”

“Youhadn’tsaidmorethantwowordsuntilafewminutesago.”Carolinesmiledagain.“Youcan

askmewhateveryouwant.I’mnotallthatremarkable.”

“Youtalkalot.”

“You’renotthefirstpersontotellmethat.”

“I’mwillingtobetyouhavealottosayaboutyourself,giventheopportunity.”

CarolineGerardwasn’tthequiettype,no.“Okay,then.Askaway.”

“Whydidyouaskmetolunch?”

Damn.Shedidn’twasteanytime.“Oh,wow.Thatwasblunt.”

“Idon’tmincewords,”Christinesaid.

Indeedshedidn’t.“Technically,Ididn’taskyoutolunch.Jendid.”

Christinerolledhereyes.“Lawyers.YouknowwhatImean.”

“Youdon’ttrustmanypeople,doyou?”

Herlipsturnedupslightly.“You’reprettydirectyourself.”

“Iamaconsummatediplomatwhobelievesincompletehonesty.”

“Areyouanaturallytrustingperson?”

Trusting.Naïve.Altogetherharmless,inhernotsohumbleopinion.“Yes,”Carolinesaid.

“Sometimestoomuch.Madebeingaprosecutortough.Igotburnedmorethanafewtimes.”

“Itdidn’tchangeyou?”

“Ivowedthatifitdid,itwastimeformetostepaway.”

“You’dbetternotbesoopenhere,”Christinesaid.“Youmightgetburnedalittleworseon

CapitolHillthanyoudidinfederalcourt.”

She’dfiguredthatmuchoutalready.“Idoubtit’llbeenoughtomakemechange.”

“Whynot?”

Carolinecockedherheadinnocently.“Ijustdon’tknowanybetter.”

Christineactuallyletoutasmalllaugh.“Youareaveryinterestingperson.”

HerleastfavoritewordintheEnglishlanguage.“Peoplecallthingsinterestingwhentheydon’t

knowwhattomakeofthem.”

“AndIdon’tknowwhattomakeofyou.Comeon.Tellmewhyyouaskedmetolunch.”

Thetruthseemedeasyenough.“Ithoughtyouseemednice.”

Christine,whohadbeentakingasipofherdrink,choked.“Tryagain.”

“I’mnotlying.”

“Noonedescribesmeasnice.”

Thatseemedimprobable.“Notevenyourhusband?”

Christinesmirked.“Especiallynotmyhusband.”

“NowIthinkyou’rebeingfacetious.”

“Maybe.”

PerhapsChristinethoughttheinvitewasn’tlegitimate.Perhapsshehadahardtimegettingto

knowpeople.Carolinewouldhavetoworkwithher,butknewitwouldbeworthit.“You’reareal

person.You’renottryingtofoolanyone.You’rebeingauthenticallyyou.”Shepaused.“Ihopeyou

don’tfindanyofthatinsulting.Ididn’tmeanitthatway.”

“Nooffensetaken.”

“Also,youhavereallyniceshoes.I’mjealous.”

“Doyoualwayspsychoanalyzepeopleandtheirfootwearwhenyoufirstmeetthem?”

Whentheirheelsweresoimpressive?“Yes,butInormallydon’tsayitoutloud.”

“Whyareyouverbalizingyourtheorieswithme?”

“Iknowyoucanhandleit.”

Christinetoyedwiththestrawinherdrink.“Icandiguparacquetsomewhere.Maybewecan

playwhenwe’renotbuttingheadsoverlegislation.AndI’malwaysupforshoeshopping.”

Carolinewinkedatherasthewaitercameoverwiththeirfood.“Thatsoundsgreat.”

ChapterEleven

Jackkissedherforehead.“Sleptyourwaythroughanotherflight.”

Carolinesnugglednexttohim.“Betterthanhavingtoworryaboutmakingsmalltalkwithyou.”

“Alotlessnerverackingtoo.Mustbenicetopasstenhourswithoutapeep.”

Haditbeenthatlong?Shestillhadsomeprettyseveresleepdeprivation,ifthatwasthecase.“Are

weontime?”

“SofarasIcantell.TheMountieswillescortustoParliamentHillonceweland.”

“PrimeMinisterSavoiewasalwaysareasonableman.Iassumethemeetingwillbecordial.”

“Ihopeso.”Jackstiffenedeversoslightly.“We’regoinginblindsinceSchroederdidn’tgivethem

ournames.”

Bettersafethansorry,shesupposed.“Areyounervous?”shewhispered.

“I’veneverbeenthisanxiousinmyentirelife.Butit’llbeokay,Caroline.We’resoclose.”Atiny

peckonthecheekturnedintoalongembrace.“Youtrustedyourinstincts,”hesaidsoftly.“Youthought

you’dlostthatpartofyou,butyoudidn’t.Don’tforgetthat.”

Shedidn’twanttotellhimthathalfofthatinstinctwasasincerewishtododgetheinevitable.If

she’dgivenupcompletelyshewouldhavehadtofullygrieve,andthatwassomethingshewouldnever,

everbepreparedtodo.“Iwon’t.”

Hesqueezedherhandastheplanelurched.“We’llbetheresoon.Keepyourwitsaboutyouandyour

emotionsincheck.”

Jackwaslecturinghimselfmorethanher.Shepattedthefirearminherknapsack.“Understood.”

Itdidn’tmatterthatCanadawasasympathetically.AfterspottingLangladeinAmsterdam,Jackwas

takingnochances.Hewantedthemarmedandready,whichwasallwellandgooduntiltheyarrivedat

LangevinBlockandthegovernmentbuildingthathousedthePrimeMinister’soffice.Theyhadtoleave

theirgunswithoneoftheMountiesintheProtectivePolicingService.Madesense.Carolinefiguredthey

wereinoneofthemostsecurelocationsinOttawa.

“Hedoesn’tknowwe’reus,”Jackremindedher.

“Betherecognizesyou,though.”

“Doesn’tmatter,”hesaid.“We’llgettothepointrightaway.”

“Iwanttoknowaboutthegirlsfirst.”

“Thatwasmyintent.It’sokay,sweetheart.We’regoingtogetthetruth.”

Sheremainedworriedthearticlewasadeception.Aplant.Somuchforoptimism.Fearcouldmakea

persondocrazythings,thinkirrationalthoughts.Howironictoarriveatamomentalmosttwoyearsinthe

makingandCarolinewasstillafraidsomeonewasgoingtoyankthefootballawaybeforeshecouldkick

it.“Shouldwefollowhisleadwhenitcomestotitles?”

“Youdon’twanttocallhim‘TheRightHonorable’?”

Herhusbandknewhowshefeltaboutformality.“I’drathercallhimDenisorMr.Savoieor…

whateverelsetheycallhim.”

“Mr.PrimeMinister?”Jackoffered.

“Youthinkwe’dknowthisbynow,beingworldlypoliticiansandall.”

“Caroline,howweaddresshimistheleastofourconcerns.Ihopehedoesn’tshockeasily.”

ThePrimeMinister’ssecuritydetailhadinterrogatedthemthoroughly,notentirelyconvincedoftheir

intentions.Explainingtheirfalsepassportshadbeenawkward,butthemenunderstood.They’dhadto

revealtheirrealnames.Itdidn’ttaketheMountieslongtowhiskJackandCarolineintoSavoie’soffice,

whereasecretaryusheredthemintoaninteriorroomwithoutfanfare.

Fewdecorations.Cherrywood.Judge’spaneling.Sparsebuttastefulfurnishings.Amodest,humble

space.Carolinehadexpectednothingless.

PrimeMinisterDenisSavoiewasapleasant,softspokenman.AlongtimememberoftheLiberal

Party,he’dbeeninofficeforalittleunderfouryears.Whenheofferedthemcandyfromadishonhis

desk,Carolinelikedhimimmediately.

“Perhapsweshouldintroduceourselvesfirst?”Jackasked.

ThePrimeMinisterstaredathimamoment.“Ihavetobehonest.MystaffgavemeyournamesandI

couldn’tquitebelieveit.Althoughyoubothlookterriblyfamiliar.”

Hemusthavebeentold.Carolinewasaccustomedtothoseconfusedexpressions,whenfolksthought

theireyesweredeceivingthem.“Isthatwhyyouoffereduscandy?”sheasked.

“Idothatwitheveryonebutapparentlyyoutakeitquiteseriously.”

“Caroline,”Jackadmonished.“Stophoardingsweets.”

Ifshethoughtonlyaboutchocolate,maybeshecouldquietthepoundinginherchest.“Canadahasthe

beststuff,”shesaid.“Andheoffered.”

“JackMcIntyre,”thePrimeMinistersaid.HestaredatCaroline.“And,itcan’t-”

“Yes,”shesaid.“Thereportsofmydeathhavebeengreatlyexaggerated.”

“Wehaverecords.I-”

Poorman.Heofferedcandy,Jackcalledherout,andthetruthhithimbeforehehadachancetosit

down.

“Mr.PrimeMinister-”Carolinestarted.

“Denis,”hecorrected.“I…don’tevenknowwhattosay.”

Jackpracticallybowed.“CommandersMcIntyreandGerard,atyourservice.”

“Jesus,”Denissaid.“Ineedadamndrink.”

Carolineslidthecandydishtowardhim.“Sugarhelps.Didn’texpectus?”

“Mystaffersdon’tgenerallypullafastoneonme,butIassumedtheyweremistakenwiththenames.

Iexpectedacoupleofoverlydedicatedmilitiameninfatigues.”

Heruniformwasinherknapsack.Jackhadn’tevenpackedhis.“Iprefersweaters,”shesaid.“Your

countryiscold.”

Jacktappedhershoulderinanefforttogethertorefocus.“Ourassistantmadearushrequestfor

visasafterheconvincedTheGlobeandMailtopullastoryacoupleofdaysago.IbelievetheUnited

Nationsexpeditedthem.”

“Ah,yes.You’vebeeninterferingwithCanadianjournalists.”Hesmiledatthem.“Nothugefansof

freespeech?”

“WewereinEuropeatthetimesotechnically,wehadnothingtodowithit,”Jacksaid.“Andwehad

goodreason.”

Hewastryingtobeblasé.Aswasshe,butJackcouldcontrolhimselfbetterthanher.Carolinepulled

thearticleoutofherjacket,handingittothePrimeMinisterwithtremblinghands.“Asmuchaswe’dlike

totalkdiplomacyandjointmilitarystrategy,wewerehopingthatyou-”Hervoicecaught.Thechocolate

inherpocketfeltlikeitweighedathousandpounds.Shecouldn’tsaythewordsoutloud.

Jacksqueezedherhand.“We’relookingforourchildren.”

Hisvoicehadbrokenonthelastword.Buthe’dgottenthroughit.Carolinesuddenlyfeltvery

childlike.“Mr.PrimeMinister-”

Denisguidedhertoachair.“Don’t.Stopworkingyourselfup.”Hereturnedthearticleandgestured

forJacktotaketheseatnexttoher.“Itismygreatpleasuretotellyouthatyourjourneyhasnotbeenfor

nothing.Yourchildrenareindeedalive.”

Whatakindman.Shedidn’tknowwhattosay,butshehadtotry.“How-”

“Holdon.”Hepickedupthephoneonhisdesk.“CouldyousendacarforSenatorSullivan?The

Americanleadershavearrived.Haveherbringherwardsifshecan.Yes.Assoonaspossible.Thank

you.”

Heusedherrealname.Herformertitle.Andhehadmentionedthegirls,evenifnotbyname.

Caroline’sremainingmistrustdisappeared.ShestartedtocryasJackputhisheadinhishands.She

sniffled,lookingoverathim.No,theyhadtokeepittogether.Parentalreliefdidn’ttrumptheirconsular

obligations.“I’msorry,”shesaid.“It’sbeenalongtwoyears.”

“You’reallowedtobehuman,”Denissaid.“I’veseenthedocuments.Heardthestories.Youarean

extraordinarilybravewoman.”

JackrecoveredwellenoughtotakeCaroline’shand.“Sheis,”hesaid.“I’mhopingCanada’sbravery

willmatchhers.”

Denisleanedforward.“Youneedhelpandwecandeliver.Butdon’tthinkaboutthatnow.Relax.

Worryaboutyourfamilyfirst.I’mcertainwe’llbeabletoprovideyouwithassistance.It’stoourmutual

benefitfortheUnitedStatestoberestoredtoaproperdemocracy.”Herefilledthecandydishbefore

handingtheremainderofthebagtoCaroline.“ShallIcatchyouuponourmilitarycapabilities?”

Sheshovedthebagintohercoatpocket.Strategicdiscussion.Awaytopassthetime.“Thatsounds

fantastic.”

SmalltalkaboutthearmedforcesprovedmoreengagingthanCarolinehadthought.Theytoldthe

PrimeMinisteraboutTheHague.Thewarrants.Theinvestigation.Theydidn’tmentionnames,though

Savoiewasquicktoreadbetweenthelines.HeknewitinvolvedSantos,possiblyhigher-upmembersof

theAmericangovernment.Buthealsoknewbetterthantoaskspecificsbeforeitwasnecessary.

“Ifanyofthesuspectsareinourjurisdiction,wewillprocessthewarrantsimmediately,”hesaid.

“TheMountiesarehappytoprovideanyservicesyouneed.You’llbeundertheirprotectionuntilyou

returntoCalifornia.”

“That’squitegenerous,”Carolinesaid.“Ourbodyguardswouldappreciateanexcusetounwinda

little.”

Aknockatthedoor.Hissecretarypeekedin,liftedonefinger.ThePrimeMinisternodded.“Senator

Sullivanjustarrived,”hesaid.“Iapologize,Idon’tthinkshebroughtyourchildren.Butthatcanbe

remediedeasilyenough.”

Herheartspedup,thetypeofreactionthatusuallyindicatedanoncomingpanicattack.Butthistime

itwassheerexcitement.Theanticipationofjoy.Theprospectofrepairingashriveledsoul.Apowerful

physicalresponsetoanemotionalonslaught.

“Whereisshe?”Carolineasked.

Denistouchedherelbowgently.“Rightthroughthere,”hesaid,indicatingasideentrytohisoffice

shehadn’tnoticedbefore.“Takeallthetimeyouneed.You’llhavecompleteprivacy.Thefourofuscan

continuethisdiscussionlater.”

Carolinestaredatthedoor.Attheworngolddoorknob,theaginglock.Ittookaskeletonkey.Hadto

beantique.Yearsandyearsold.Thewoodgrainblurred.Jacktookherhand.

“Comeon,sweetheart,”hesaid.“You’vehadtowaitlongenough.”

“Idon’tknowwhattosay.Whatifshedoesn’trecognizeme?”

“Shewill.She’snotanassholelikeme.”Hethrewopenthedoor,draggingherbehindhim.“Come

on,then.”

“That’sreallyrude,Jack,”shesaid,stumblingintotheroom.“You’resupposedtoknockfirstand

Chrissy-”Carolinegrippedhishandsecurelywithbothofhers,gazingatthelonefigureonthecouch.

“Chrissywhat?”Jackasked.

“Chrissywasalwaysasticklerforproperetiquette,”shesaidsoftly.

Christinehadbeenscrollingthroughsomethingonherphonebeforesheglancedupatthem,

surprised.Shewaswearingapertredpantsuitandblackslingbacks.Therewerecirclesunderhereyes

thatevenhermeticulousmakeupjobcouldn’thide.Sheappearedasifshehadagedfarmorethantwo

years.Butherhairwasperfectlycoiffed,herdemeanorforeverpoisedandself-possessed.Shestoodup,

hereyebrowsraised.Herphoneslidoutofherhandandontothecarpet.

“MotherofGod,”shesaid.“Jack?”Shetookastepforward,examiningthemclosely.Carolinecould

almostheartheconnectionclickinginhermindasChristineturnedtoher,mesmerized.“Whatdidyoujust

callme?”

Shemovedtowardthetwoofthem,herhandsshaking.ShekeptstaringatCaroline,neverbreaking

eyecontact.Whenshewasonlyafewinchesawayshestopped.Shestartedtoreachoutherhand,thought

betterofit,andpulledback.ChristinewrappedherarmsaroundherselfandlookedatCaroline

inquiringly.

Carolinegaveherawaterysmile.“Hi,Chrissy.”

Hereyeswidenedandshestartedtosway.AsChristinepitchedforwardCarolinemanagedtocatch

herinherarms.Shelookeddown.Christinehadpassedout.

“Icertainlydidn’texpectthattohappen,”shesaid.

Jacklookedjustasshockedasshefelt.“NeitherdidI.”

Carolinestruggledtoholdherupright.Jackwasjuststandingthere.Sheturnedtohim.“Areyou

goingtohelpmeorwhat?”

“Sorry,you’realwaystalkingaboutwomennotneedingmaleassistancewithsuchthings.”Jack

helpedCarolinepositionChristineonthecouchbeforepickingupherphoneandputtingitnexttoher

purse.“Iwastryingtohonoryourprinciples.”

“Veryfunny,”Carolinesaid,asChristinestartedtocomearound.“ChrissyfiguredoutwhoIwas

rightaway.”

“Andlookhowshereacted.”

“Don’tbemean.”

“Fine.WhenshecomestoI’llbesuretogiveheratrophy.”

CarolineputherarmaroundChristine’sshoulders,pattingherfacelightly.“Wakeup,sleepyhead.”

Christinesteadiedherselfonthecouch.“Whathappened?”

“Youfainted.”

“What?”

CarolinekneltdownonthefloorandtookChristine’shandsinhers.“Really,Chrissy.Fainting.That’s

soVictorian.”

“Caroline?”Christineasked.

Carolineknewitwasill-manneredbutcouldn’thelpbutlaugh.ChristineSullivanwasn’tawilting

flowerbyanystretchoftheimagination.“Ican’tbelieveyoupassedout,”shesaid.“Andmewithouta

camera.”Shelaughedagain.“Thatmentalimageisgoingtostaywithmeawhile.”

ChristinebroughtashakinghandforwardtotouchCaroline’sface,herlipstrembling.“Punky?”

“Pleasedon’tfaintagain,”Carolinesaid.

“DidIfallasleep?AmIdreaming?”

Carolinebeamedather.“You’rewideawake.Andyouknowit’sme.Anyoneelsewouldhavelet

youhitthefloor.”

Christinesprangdowntoenvelopherinavicioushug.Theforcewasalmostenoughtoknockher

backwardsbutCarolinemanagedtokeepbothofthemupright.

Christinestartedweeping.“Ithoughtyouweredead.”

Carolinebegantocrytoo.“Ialmostwas.Morethanafewtimes.”Christinewasleaningintoher

chest,holdinghersotightlythatCarolinealmostcouldn’tcatchherbreath.“IpromisedyouI’dcome,

Chrissy,”shewhispered.“ItjusttookalittlelongerthanIthought.”

Christinehuggedhercloser.“Ican’tbelieveyou’rehere.”

“Passingoutandcrushingmylungs.Thosemaybothbefirstsforyou,”Carolinesaid.

Thatdrewachuckle.“I’veneverbeenoneforspontaneousdisplaysofaffection.Idon’tknowhowto

dothemverywell.”

“Doesn’tbothermeintheleast.”Carolinepulledthemtotheirfeet,cradlingChristine’sfaceinher

hands.“Youhadmeworriedforaminute.Ithoughttheshockofseeingmemighthavekilledyou.”

“Youdidthrowmeforaloop.”ChristinegrabbedCarolineinanotherferociousembrace,glancing

overhershoulder.“Jack.”

Hedidn’tbotherhidinghistears.“Hi,Christine.”

Shepattedhisarm.“Areyouourrebelleaders?”

“Indeedweare,”hesaid.

“Ishouldhaveknownyou’dfindawaytodefytheodds.”Christinebrushedherfingersacrosshis

face.“Ohstopcrying,yousap.Don’tevenpretendyou’rehappytoseeme.”

Butshewassmiling,andJackpattedherbackasshekissedhischeek.“YouandCarolinejustmade

mehaveamoment,that’sall,”hesaid.

Christinegavehimagianthug.“Nicecoverstory,Governor.”

“HepreferstogobyCommanderMcIntyre,”Carolinequipped.“Makeshimfeelallbigandmanly.”

“What’syourimpressivetitle?”Christineaskedher.

“I’macommandertoo.It’squitetedious.”Carolinesqueezedbothofherhands.“Howareourgirls?”

Christinesniffled.“They’regoingtobesomuchbetteroncetheyseeyou.IknowIwassupposedto

bringthemwithmebutIwasn’tsurehowthatwouldgoover.MargueritewaseagertocomebutSophie

hasbeenupsetlatelyandifIhadknownitwasyou-”

Oh,Carolinewasn’tquitereadytohearthat.Hereyesgrewwateryagainandshepulledthe

newspaperarticleoutofherjacket,handingittoChristine.

“We’vegotabigcouchhere,ladies,”Jacksaid.“Howaboutwesitdown?”

“Yeah,youstilllookalittlewobbly.”CarolinehuggedChristineagain,harderthistime.“Nice

necklace,bytheway.”

ChristinefingeredtheMiraculousMedalshehadaroundherneck.“Oh,younoticed?Ialwayswear

it.”

“I’mglad.”

“SomeoneIloveverymuchgaveittome.Iwasn’tabouttoletitgo.”Shesatdownonthecouch

betweenCarolineandJack.Christinelookeddownatthearticle.“Wheredidyougetthis?Ithoughtitwas

pulled.”

“We’retheoneswhopulledit,”Jacksaid.“Therisktoyoursafetywastoogreat.”

“Areyousayingthatsomesortofpoliticalmaniacmayhaveitoutforus?”Christineasked.“I’m

shocked.”

Jackclearlydidn’tfindthehumorinherremark.“IfSantosknowswe’realive,thethreatbecomes

greater.”

Trustherhusbandtobringupatopicshedidn’twanttotouch,ever.“I’msosorry,Chrissy.You’ve

hadtodosomuchthepasttwoyearsandyouweredoingitalone.”

JackpattedChristine’sknee.“Wecan’tthankyouenough.”

ShewrappedbothherarmsaroundCaroline.“Nothingpersonal,Jack.Iwanttoholdontoyourwife

foralittlewhile.Maybelonger.”

Heputhisarmaroundheranyway.“Nooffensetaken.”

Allthisaffectionwasliabletodrainthemall.Carolinewasn’tabouttocomplain.Whetherhugswere

atapremiumorflowinglikewater,theyweretobecherished.Christinewasexultanttoseethembothand

shewantedtorevelinitaslongasshecould.

“Ican’tbelieveyou’rehere.Yourchildren-”Christinestopped,composingherself.

Yeah,Carolinecouldn’tquitearticulateiteither.“TellusaboutMoandFeef.”

“MaggieandSoph,”shesaidinstantly.“Ihopethat’sallright.Icouldn’t–IcallthemMaggieand

Soph.”

Understandable.“Aretheyokay?”Carolinewhispered.

“They’redoingwellinthesecretsquirrelschooltheyhavesetupforex-pats,madesomefriends,

seemtobeputtingupwithmeokay.”Christinesighed.“It’sbeenalongtwoyears.”

Carolinewasn’tabouttomentionTomandJess.Notnow.Maybelater.“Aretheymadatme?Atus?”

“Ofcoursenot,Punky.”

“Don’tlie,Chrissy.Icanhearitinyourvoice.”

Christineletoutahardbreath.“Anyissuestheyhavearegoingtobeeasilyremediedoncetheysee

you.”

Carolinedidn’tfindherwordsallthatreassuring.“Ineverwantedtoleavethem.JackandIfully

intendedtomakeituphere.Inevermeanttolie.”

“Caroline,lookatme.”Christinegrabbedherhand.Hereyeswerebright.“Itisanabsolutemiracle

thatbothofyouarehere.Iamnotgoingtotakethatforgranted,andneitherwillthey.Thelastcoupleof

monthshavebeendifficult.Readingthosefiles,hearingjournaliststalkaboutthemonthenews,

speculatingaboutthemintheblogosphere…itmakesmesicktothinkaboutit.”Christinestartedcrying

again.“I’msorry.Idon’thavearighttobeupsetaboutthisanymore,doI?”

“Ofcourseyoudo,”Carolinesaid.“You’vebeendealingwithwhoknowshowmuchandthenwe

showeduptotakeyouonanotheremotionalrollercoaster.”

“Todaycertainlyhasn’tturnedoutthewayIthoughtitwouldwhenIgotupthismorning.ButI’mnot

goingtocomplain,”Christinesaid.“Notonebit.”

CarolinerestedherheadonChristine’sshoulder,hearingherbreathe.“Yourecognizedmeright

away.”

Christinegaveheraquicksqueeze.“I’dknowyourlaughanywhere.Thewayyoucarryyourself.The

wayyousaidmyname.Andyou’retheonlyonewhowouldspeakthatwaytoJack.Ortome.”Shepulled

backtoexamineCaroline.“Youstillhavethosewonderful,warmbrowneyes.”

“Iknowyou’retryingnottocallattentiontomyappearance,Chrissy.”

ChristinerubbedastrandofCaroline’shairbetweenherfingers.“Thisperoxiderinsecouldusea

littlework.”

Carolinehadbeenthinkingthesamething.Maybeachangewasinorder.“Iappreciateyour

decorum.”

“It’snotdecorum.”Hervoicebroke.“Idon’twanttothinkaboutwhathappenedtoyouwhileyou

wereinthatfederalprison.”

“Thenwedon’thavetotalkaboutit.It’suptoyou.”

ChristineturnedherheadtowardJack.“Howareyoudealingwithallofthis?”

Heregardedherwearily.“Howmuchtimedoyouhave?”

Sherummagedaroundinherpurse,sendingaquickmessage.“Ihavealotmoretimebackatour

apartment.Shallwegoseeyourchildren?”

ChapterTwelve

“Youmustlovehavingadriver,”Carolinesaid.

Christineshrugged,watchinghimloadtheirluggageintothetrunk.“It’saniceperk.”

“AreyouinchargeofalltheAmericanrefugees?”

“Unofficially.Myofficialcoverstoryisafamilydoctorworkingatalocalclinic.”

“Isthatwhatyoureallydo?”Carolineasked.

“Iprovidemedicalcaretothepeoplewholiveinourbuilding.Itkeepsmebusy.”

Carolinecouldonlyimaginehowmanydistractionsshe’dneededoverthepasttwoyears.“Isitvery

far?”

“We’rejustoutsidethecity,”Christinesaid,slidingintothebackseat.Shelookedpleasedwhen

Carolinesatinthemiddle.

“Icouldmakeajokeaboutridingbitch,”Carolinesaid.

Christinefastenedherseatbelt.“YouthinkIshouldbetheoneinthemiddle.”

“Ididn’tsaythat.”

“Youthoughtit.”

Jackscowled.“Isitgoingtobethiswaytheentirecarride?”

Carolinecouldhavealittlefunathisexpense.“Thisguydidn’trecognizemewhenIgotto

California.”

“We’vebeenoverthat,”hesaid.“Manytimes.”

“Ittookhimalittlebittofigureitout.”

“Youweighedabouttwentypoundslessthanyoudonow,andyouwerewearingcontacts.”

“Youwerethatskinny?”Christineclosedhereyes.“You’reunderweightnow.”

Oh,shedidn’tmeantobringanyonedown.Shehadtotakeitbackup.“I’vegainedsomemuscle.

Eatenalotofchocolate.”CarolinegaveJackaslysmile.“ButwhenIgottothebaseitwaslikehedidn’t

wanttobelieveitwasme.”

“Caroline,stop,”hesaid.“Christinewinstheperpetualdevotioncontest.Allright?”

“I’mkidding,Jack.”

Hekissedheronthecheek.“Iknow.Ilikegivingyouahardtimewhentheopportunitypresents

itself.”HelookedoveratChristine.“Iwasaverystubbornmanwhenshefirstarrived.”

“Whathappenedwithyoutwoanyway?”Christineasked,thenwavedherhand.“Nevermind,Idon’t

wanttostartnow.We’realmosthome.”

Home.WhereMoandFeefwere.

Thecarpulledupbesidealargeconvertedmansion.“Let’sgoseeyourchildren,”Christinesaid.“I

mayhaveadriverbutsadly,thereisnoporterforyourluggage.”

“It’sgoingtobeverydifficultformetocarrybothsuitcases,”Jacksaid.“ButI’lltry.”

ChristinefrownedatCaroline’sbag.“Youusedtopackanentirecarforaweekendtrip.”

Shehadagiantsuitcaseandaknapsackcontainingmostofherworldlypossessions.“I’mremarkably

efficientnow,”Carolinesaid.Couldn’tChristinetellshewasanxiousashell?“Canwejustgointhere

already?”

“Holdyourhorses.”Christineopenedthefrontdoorandledthemdownthehalltothestairs,where

twoMountieswerewaiting.“TheodoreBourgeois,JosephineMouton,meetJackandCarolineMcIntyre.”

“We’vebeenexpectingyou,”Bourgeoissaid.

Hispartnernodded.“WhenthePrimeMinistercalls,youlisten.”

CarolineandJackshooktheirhands.“Haveyoubeenkeepingourchildrensafe?”Jackasked.

“Yes,sir,”Moutonsaid.

“Thankyouboth.”CarolinewinkedatChristine.“AndthankyoufortakingcareofSenatorSullivan

too.”

“Justdoingourjobs,ma’am,”saidBourgeois.

Christineglancedatherwatch.“TheMcIntyreswillbestayinginourapartmentforthenextfew

days.”

Bourgeoisnodded.“Goonup.”

“Yougottabesomewhere?”Carolineaskedher.

“No,”Christinesaid.“Ijustwantedtomakesurethegirlswouldbehome.Theyweregoingtostudy

inthelibraryforawhile.”

Amazingthatsomuchoftheirunconventionallifesoundednormal,thewayChristinedescribedit.

“We’reonthesecondfloor,”Christinesaidcasually,astheywentupthestairs.“It’snotmuch,butwe

eachhaveourownbedroomandthere’senoughspacesowearen’tfallingontopofeachother.Thisis

highsecurity.Americansgrantedasylumareonlyallowedtolivehereaftertheygothroughextensive

interviewsandbackgroundchecks.Manyofusarelivingunderassumednames.”

“What’syours?”Carolineasked.

“PhoebeMongeau.MargueriteisMoniqueandSophieisEvangeline.Theyinsistedonmakingour

namesFrencheventhoughIdon’tspeakaword.”

“Youbroughtthatonyourself,”Carolinesaid.“Andyoudon’thavetoexplainanything.I’msureyour

apartmentismuchnicerthananyplacewe’vestayedrecently.”

“ExceptthathotelinTheHague.”Jacksmiled.“Thatwasnice.”

Carolinewouldhaveshushedhimbutshewastoofocusedontakingthestairstwoatatime.“Which

unitisit?”sheasked,whentheyreachedthesecondfloor.

“221,but,Caroline-”Christinecalled,butshewasalreadyrunningdownthehall.

“She’salittleeager,”Jacksaid,whenthey’dcaughtuptoher.

“Iknow.”Christinetriedtocatchherbreath.“MaybesheforgotI’mtheonewiththekeys.She

definitelyforgotIwaswearingslingbacks.”

Thatmayhavebeenabitinconsiderate.Combatbootswereeasiertoruninthanheels.Butnowwas

notthetimeforguilt.Atleast,notuntilsheheardChristineslidethekeyintothelock.Carolineturned

away,focusinghergazeonthecarpet.

Jackputhisarmaroundher.“It’sokay,sweetheart.ChristineandIarebothhere.”

Tearsprickedhereyes.Thiswashappening.Thiswashappeningandshecouldn’tcontrolthe

outcome.Shecouldn’tevencontrolheremotions.“Whatifthey’remad?Whatiftheyhateusformaking

themleave?”

Christinestoppedmidwaythroughopeningthedoor.“Punky,you’reoverreacting.They’regoingtobe

elatedtoseeyou.Ipromise.I’llgoinfirst.”

Sheledtheminside.Christinehadbeenright.Theplacewasn’tallthatlarge.Butitwascozy,

friendlyeven.ItgaveoffamuchdifferentvibethanherhouseinBrynMawr,whichwasalittlestiffer,

moreformal.Itwasarefreshingandunexpectedchange.

“Maggie!Soph!”Christineremovedhercoat,hangingitupintheclosetintheentryway.“You

home?”

“We’reinhere.”Ateenagevoiceansweredfromoneofthebedrooms.ItwaslowerthanCaroline

expected,butsherecognizeditimmediately.

“Mo,”shewhispered.

Christinepointeddownthehall.“That’sherroom.”

Carolinewrungherhands,buttheyshookanyway.Christinepattedherarm.“I’llgogetthem.Will

thatmakeyoufeelbetter?”

JackguidedCarolinetothecouchandsatdownnexttoher.“We’llwaithere,”hesaid.“Calmdown,

sweetheart.”

Panickyterror.Thatwasthebestwaytodescribethewayshefelt.Anunexpectedresponse,which

madeitworse.Aftereverythingshe’dbeenthrough,itseemedpeculiartobefrightenedofseeingher

children.Butshewaspracticallyinfightorflightmode.

Jackkissedhertemple,hishandatthesmallofherback.“They’regoingtobesohappyyou’rehere.

Don’tworryaboutit.”

“Easyforyoutosay.Youlooklikeyourself.Whatiftheydon’tbelieveme?”

“Theywill.Theyknowyou.”

Washekidding?Itwassomuchmorethanappearancesandheknewit.

Herhusbandwasn’tabletoignorethesharpnessofhergaze.“Themostsuspicious,leasttrusting

womanI’veevermetacceptedyouwithoutquestionafewhoursago,”hesaid.“Yourchildrenaren’t

goingtohaveanyissues.”

Carolineglancedoverattheendtable,spottingapictureshe’dneverseenbefore.AshotofJack,

Caroline,Christine,andTomatJackandCaroline’swedding.Shedidn’trecallposingforit.Though

they’dhadanintimategathering,ithadbeenawhirlwindofanevening.Shestaredatthesmilingfaces.

“Huh.”Shepointedatthepicture.“Doyourememberthis?”

“HowcouldIforget?”

He’dmissedthepointofherquestion.“Idon’tremembertakingthispicture.Doyou?”

“Vaguely.Weposedforalotofpicturesthatday.”

“IwonderwhereChristinegotit.”Itseemedanoddthingforhertolugacrosstheborderwhenallof

themhadpackedsolight.

Heshrugged.“You’dhavetoaskher,Iguess.”

Thatday,thatnight,thosefirstfewyearsoftheirmarriage…theyseemedlikeanotherperson’slife.It

painedCarolinetothinkaboutit,evennow.Jacktookherhandandsheshuffledclosertohim,feelingthe

firearmrestingonhiship.

Shit.They’dmadesuretoarmthemselveswhileleavingLangevinBlock,despitethesteelyeyesof

theMountiesassignedtoescortthemtotheirnextlocation.

Carolinegrabbedherownholster.“Shouldwe,um,putthesesomewhere?Idon’twanttoscare

them.”

“Ourguns?”Jack’stonemadeitclearhe’dforgottenhewasarmed.“I’msurprisedBourgeoisand

Moutondidn’tsearchus.”

“Wemightwanttotalktothemaboutthattacticalerror,”shesaid,grabbingherknapsack.“Hurryup,

Jack.I’dprefertheynotseeuspointingfirearmsatthem.”Carolineremovedthemagazineandshovedher

SigSauerintoherbackpackalongwithhis,closingitjustassheheardChristineclearingherthroat.

“Wewerejustputtingourgunsaway,”Jacksaid.

Carolinelookedup.Thereweretwoblondteenagersstaringatthem.Theolderonehadsparkling

blueeyes,likeherfather.Theyoungeronehadbrowneyes,likehermother.Beautiful,mature,proud

youngwomen.Andtheybothlookedconfusedashell.

Christinepulledthemforward.“Itoldyou,”shesaidsoftly,puttingherarmsaroundMargueriteand

Sophie.“Yourparentsareheretoseeyou.”

Itseemedsomuchmoreanticlimacticthanitshouldhavebeen,butitwasenough.Carolineputher

handstohermouth,weeping.

Jackwrappedhisarmaroundhershoulder.“It’sokay,sweetheart.”

“Jack?”Margueriteasked.HervoicehadthesametoneofdisbeliefasChristine’shadearlierinthe

day.

Margueritewasstaringatthembothsuspiciously.Distrust.Incredulity.Shock.Hereldestdaughter

didn’tbelievewhatshewasseeing.NotthatCarolinecouldblameher.Thepaincutlikeaknifeandshe

begantocryharder.

Sophiestudiedherface.“Mommy?”

No.Shehadtostaystrong.Evenwithallthosebumpsintheroad,allthewoundsthey’dhavetoheal,

Carolinehadtobetheparent.“Hi,Feef.”

Sophieranovertothecouchandthrewherarmsaroundhermother,practicallylandingonherlap.

Carolineheldhertight,rockingthembackandforth.“Oh,munchkin.Don’tcry.”

“Youare,”Sophiesaid.

Carolinewipedthetearsoffherdaughter’sface.“Ihavetroublecontrollingmyemotions

sometimes.”

Sophiekissedhercheek.“Ican’t–wow.”

Shegaveherdaughteragoodlook.“MyGod.You’resotall.Andgorgeous.”

Sophieblushed.“Mo-om.”

Whatagifttohearthataffectionate,chidingtone.Fromherchild.Whowasaliveandsittingnextto

her,shakingfromexcitement,unwillingtolethergo.“I’mnotkidding.You-”Carolinebitherlip,vowing

tokeepanymoretearsatbay.“Yougrewup.”

Sophiesnuggledherforaminute.“Ihavealongwaytogo.”ShehuggedJackhard,thenturnedtoher

sister.“Youwereright.WetotallyshouldhavegonetoseethePrimeMinister.”

CarolinelookedupatMarguerite,whonowhadherarmwrappedprotectivelyaroundChristine.

“Mo,it’sme.”

Margueritecouldn’thideherskepticism,notfromthewomanwhohadbirthedher.Christinegently

proddedhertowardhermother.

“You’redead,”shefinallysaid.“Isawtherecords.”

ThatwasastoryCarolinewouldsaveforlater.Alotlater.“I’mprettysureI’malive.AndI’dreally

likeahug.”

Margueritetookasteptowardthecouch,thenbackedaway.“Whathappenedtoyou?Youaren’t–

youdon’tlookmuchlikeyourself.”

Shecouldforgivethebluntnessofherdaughter’scomment.Margueritewasright.Sophiehadsimply

beentookindtopointitout.“Thegovernmentthinkstheykilledme,soIcan’tmakeittooobviouswhoI

am,”Carolinesaid.“Christinehasalreadycommentedonthequalityofmydyejob.”

“Youlooklikeme,mom,”Sophiesaid,clingingtoher.“AlthoughAuntChrissyisright,thecolorisa

littleoff.”

Carolinedidn’tknowwhethertofindMarguerite’sbehavioradmirableormaddening.Thatstubborn

streakhadbeenbornefromyearsofhermother’sinfluence.Shecouldhardlybegrudgeherdaughterfor

followinginheraltogetherenigmaticfootsteps.“Don’tfaint,”shesaid,tryingtolightenthemood.

“ChrissydidthatandIdon’twanttohavetopickyouupoffthefloor.”

“Iwon’t.”Margueritewidenedherstance,makingclearherfeetwereplantedfirmlyonthecarpet.

“Wherehaveyoubeen?”

Thiswasnotgoingwell.Carolinefeltasoothinghandonherback.Atleastheryoungestdaughter

wasatherside.“Wecantalkaboutthatlater.”Shestartedtogetup,butslumpeddownwhenMarguerite

tookastepbackward.

“Wherehaveyoubeen?”shedemanded.

Sophieglaredathersister,puttingherarmsaroundJackandCaroline.“Stopbeingabitch,Mo.”

“Don’ttalktoyoursisterlikethat,”Jackinterjected.“Shejustneedsaminute.Right?”

“Andwherethehellhaveyoubeen,Jack?”Margueriteasked.

“Marguerite,”Christinesaid.“Stopit.”

CarolinehadforgottenChrissywasstillintheroom.“It’sokay,”shesaid.

Margueritereddened.Herangerwasgettingthebestofher.“No,”shesaid.“It’snot.Wherethefuck

haveyoubeen?”

Christinepointedather.“Stopitrightnow.Youdon’tknowwhatyourmotherandstepfatherwent

throughtogethere.”

“Theydon’tknowwhatwewentthrougheither.It’sbeentwoyears.Wherehavetheybeen?”

“That’senough,”Christinesnapped.“Youarenotgoingtotreatyourparentsthisway.”

“IcantreatthemhoweverIwant.Iwantanswers.”

“Youcangetthemlater,ifyourparentswanttotellyou.Forsomeonewhowantstobedealtwithas

anadult,yousureashellaren’tactinglikeone.”ChristineturnedtoCarolinewithapainedexpressionon

herface.“I’msorry,Punky.Itoldyouthey’dbehappytoseeyou.Ithought-”

Theiremotionswouldbetheruinofthemall.“Chrissy-”

Christinewavedheroff.“Excuseme,”shesaidshakily,andhurriedtowardherbedroom.

Carolineheardthedoorclickshut.Asoft,unobtrusivenoise.Shefeltlikeaspectatorinherownlife,

watchingsomeoneelsedirectthescenes,makethemoves,determinetheoutcome.Nowherbestfriend

wascaughtupinit.Sheputherheadinherhands.Sophieleanedoverandwrappedherarmsaroundher

shoulders.

“It’sokay,mommy,”shewhispered.

Herchildcouldtrytograntherabsolution,butCarolinehadtopardonherselffirst.Whichwasdamn

nearimpossible.“I’msorryIwasn’theresooner.”

“Letmehandlethis.”Jackpattedherback,gettingupfromthecouch.“Upuntilacoupleofdaysago

wethoughtyouweredead,”hesaid.“Maybeyoushouldcutyourmothersomeslack.She’ssuffered

enormouslyduringthelasttwoyears,especiallyaftershebelievedshe’dlostyou.”Hekneltdown.

“Don’tgetworkedup,sweetheart.”

“Itoldyou,Jack,”shewhispered.“Itoldyouthey’dbemad.”

“I’mnotmad,”Sophiesaid,hervoicetrembling.“I’msogladyou’rehere.Pleasestopcrying.”

Carolineliftedherheadup.“Don’tbemad,Mo.Please.”

Margueritestaredather,coveringhermouthwithaquiveringhand.CarolinesqueezedSophie’sknee

andgotupfromthecouch,herarmsoutstretched.“Wegothereassoonaswecould,”shesaid.“Please

believeme.”ShereachedtowardMarguerite,whopushedheraway.

“Don’t.”

Carolinereachedtowardheragain,andMargueritesteppedbackward.

“Don’t,”sherepeated,hereyesfillingwithtears.

Carolinereachedtowardherathirdtime,grabbingherinafiercehug.“I’msorry,darling,”shesaid.

“Inevermeanttoleaveyou.Don’tbemad.”

Margueriteletoutanexasperatedbreathbutdidn’tsquirmaway.“Don’ttellmehowtofeel!”

“I’mangrytoo,aboutalotofthings.Pleasedon’ttakeitoutonme.”Hervoicebrokeasshepulled

herdaughtercloser.Shejusthadtoholdon.Herbold,tenaciousfirstbornwasalmostaheadtallerthan

hernow,butshe’dreturnthehug.EvenifCarolinecouldn’tforgiveherself,surelyherchildrenwere

betterthanthat.“I’vemissedyousomuch.Pleasedon’tdothis.”

Theslightslumpofashoulder.Thelean.Thearmstighteningaroundherneck.Margueritestartedto

cry.“Wherewereyou?Whattookyousolong?”

“Wedidn’tknow.Wethoughtyouweregone.”

Margueriteletoutasob.“I’msorry.”

“Don’tbe.It’sokay.”Shekissedherdaughter’scheek.“I’msohappytoseeyou,mylittleMoMo.”

Margueriteactuallylaughed.“Youhadtostandonyourtiptoestokissme.I’mnotlittle.”

Thiswastrue.“You’llalwaysbemymunchkin.”

Herdaughterpressedherfaceintohershoulder.“Whathappenedtoyou?”

God,whataloadedquestion.Carolinehuggedherclose.“Wedon’thavetotalkaboutthatyet.I’d

justliketoholdyouforawhile.”They’dalldobetteriftheycouldgetpastthestormandwaitforthe

rainbowtoappear.Sheledherdaughtertothecouch.“CanyoupleasebenicetoJackeventhoughhejust

yelledatyou?”

Margueriteletoutalittlechuckle.“Iguessso.”Shegavehimafirmhug.

“Hi,kiddo,”hesaid,kissingheronthecheek.Hesatdownonthecouchandputhisarmsaround

Sophie,whosnuggledintohisshoulder.

Carolinewipedhereyes.ThedoortoChristine’sroomwasstillshut.“IneedtocheckonAunt

Chrissy.”

“Ishouldn’thavespokentoyouthatway.”Margueriteleanedinforanotherhug.“Noweveryoneis

upset.I’msorry.”

Carolinewouldtakeaffectionwherevershecouldgetit.“Don’tworryaboutit,Mo.I’msureChrissy

isfine.She’shadalongday.Weallhave.”

“Whataboutyou?Areyoufine?”

Gettingthere.“Muchbetternow.”

“I’llgowithyou,”Margueritesaid.“Ishouldapologize.”

“Youdon’thavetodoitrightnow.”

Shegavehermotherasmallsmile.“It’stheproperthingtodo.”

Carolineknockedsoftlyonthedoor.“It’sjustme,Chrissy.CanIcomein?”SheturnedtoMarguerite.

“Ifshedoesn’tanswerinfiveseconds,I’mgoinginanyway.Unlessshelockedusout.”

Margueriteshookherhead.“Ican’tfigureoutwhysheeverputupwithyou.”

Sheopenedthedooracrackandlookedaround.Christinewassittingonthebed.Hereyeswerered.

Shedidn’tsayanything.Carolinewasn’tsureifthatwasgoodorbad.“Ilied.IhaveMowithme.Canwe

comein?”

Christinegrabbedatissue.“DoIhaveachoice?”

Carolinepushedthedooropentherestoftheway.“YoushallhavenoprivacyatallwhileIam

here.”

ShetookMarguerite’shandanddraggedherinside,scanningtheroom.Eventheprospectofliving

sparselyasanex-patinaforeigncountryhadn’tstrappedChristineofherstyle.Theroomwassterilebut

tastefullydecorated,withafewpaintingsonthewall.Therewasalargecomforterwithasubtle,classic

designonthebed.Carolinewasn’tevengoingtospeculateaboutthreadcounts.Perchedonthenightstand

wasalargeglossypictureofChristine,Tom,andtheirtwodaughterstakenthedayChristinewassworn

inasaUnitedStatesSenator.NexttoitwasasilverframewithaphotoofCarolineandChristine,smiling

broadlyattheInauguralBallthenightJackbecameGovernorofPennsylvania.

Carolinesatdownonthebed.“Thisroomissoyou,”shesaid,pickinguptheframedphotoofthe

twoofthem.Lookingatitdidn’tbotherherasmuchasshethoughtitwould.“Idolikethis.”

“Theydon’thaveEthanAllenherebutIdidmybest.”

Ajoke.MaybeChrissywasn’tasupsetassheappeared.“DoestheCanadiangovernmentknowyou

usetheirsupportcheckstofeedyourunquenchablecravingforhighendfurnitureanddesignertextiles?”

“No,”Christinesaid.“Andyou’renotgoingtotellthem.”

Well,shewasnofunatall.ButCarolinecouldhumorher.Forawhile.

Margueritesatontheothersideofthebed,puttingherarmaroundChristine.“I’msorryImadeyou

cry.”

Christinepattedherleg.“It’snotabigdeal.”

“No,itis.Youdeservedbetter.Allofyou.”

CarolineputherarmaroundChristine,reachingovertosqueezeMarguerite’sshoulder.“Youwere

beingstubborn.It’sallright.It’sthesortofthingIwouldhavedone,thereforeit’snotentirelyunexpected

comingfromyou.”

MargueriteturnedtoChristine.“Speakingofnotsopredictablebehavior,didyoureallyfaintthefirst

timeyousawmom?”

Christinereddened.“Ihavelowbloodpressure.That’sallitwas.”

CarolineandMargueritechuckled.

“I’mserious.It’salegitimatemedicalcondition.”

CarolinegaveChristinealittlehug.“Ifounditflattering,”shesaid.“It’sstillfunnyashell,though.”

“Haseverythingworkeditselfout?”

“Fornow.”Carolinewasn’tquitereadytohavetheconversationsthatwereinvariablycoming.

“Let’snotgetintothedeepstuffyet.Canweplaygamesortalkorsomething?”

Christinesmiled.“Sure.”

Thefiveofthemsatinthelivingroomandchattedforhours,carefultoavoidtheheavytopics.

CarolineandJackwereeagertohearaboutwhatSophieandMargueritehadbeendoinginschool.About

theirfriends,theirhobbies,thelittledetailsoftheirlives.Asmallgroupofex-patshadheldoccasional

meetingsoverthepastfewyears,debatingwhethertorevealthemselvestotheAmericangovernment.

Theyhadalwaysvotedagainstit.Butthereleaseoftherecordshadmadetheirmostrecentmeetingmore

difficult,andtheynowhadtodecidewhatcoursetotake.

Christinehadbeentheunspokenleadersinceshearrived.Carolineassumeditwasbecauseof

Christine’srelationshipwithherandJack,andherroleasthegirls’guardian,butshewasn’tgoingtosay

thatoutloud.Christinewasacapableleaderinherownrightandfinallyhadtheopportunitytomakeup

foranypreviousinaction.RepresentativeCapwellandhiswifehadmadeitfromPittsburgh,ashadoneof

Caroline’sfavoriteMidwesternDemocraticsenators,RogerBaileyofMinnesota.AmongBrian,Roger,

andChristine,theirsmallcadreofleadershadplentyofchutzpah.

“Ithinkwe’vetalkedaboutourselvesenough,”Christinesaid.“Howaboutwebreakoutthecards?”

Sophieclappedherhands.“I’mupforthat.”

CardswerenotCaroline’scupofteasinceitwasoneofthefewgamesshewasn’tgoodat.

Margueritepickeduponherreluctancerightaway.

“Youwanttomakecookies?”sheasked.

Homemadebakedgoods.Fancifulandyummy.Twoofherfavoritethings.“I’dloveto.Anyonewant

tojoinus?”

Christinehadalreadystarteddealingadeck.“I’mgoingtowhipyourhusbandatgin.”

Sophiepickedupherhand.“NotifIdoitfirst.”

“IalreadyknowwhatJackisgoingtosay,”Carolinesaid.“Let’sstartthisparty.”

Margueriteledherintothekitchen.“Doyouneedarecipe?”

“Hellno.”Shetappedhertemple.“It’sallinhere.ButIdon’tknowwhereanythingissoyou’llhave

toshowme.”

MargueritestartedbustlingaroundthecabinetsasCarolineunconsciouslyrolledupthesleevesof

hersweater,readytogettowork.Herdaughterwhirledaround,gaspingwhenshesawCaroline’s

exposedwrists.Bagsofflourandsugarfelloutofherarms,creatingasmallwhitecloudwhentheyhit

thefloorwithathump.

Carolinehastilypulledhersleevesbackdown.“I’msorry.”

Margueritecrossedthesmallkitchenintwosteps.“Oh,mom.”

Thepoorgirllookedhorrified.Carolinedidn’tknowwhattodososhejustpulledherdaughterinto

herarms.“It’sokay,Mo.Theydon’thurt.”

MargueritedugherfingersintoCaroline’sshoulders.“Don’tletSophieseethosemarks.Notunless

youcanprepareherfirst.”

Oneofthemanyinevitableconversationsthatneededtobehadbutsoundedsoveryundesirable.

Carolinekissedheronthecheek.“It’sfine.I’mokay.”

Fine.Okay.Justpeachy.Sheshouldn’thaveexpectedasmartkidtobuythatargument.Marguerite

pulledback,crossingherarms.Hell,shewasalmostofage.Shecouldhandlealittletruth.

“Allright,I’mprettyfuckedupmentally,”Carolinesaid.“ButI’mokayphysically.”Sheleanedinfor

anotherhardembrace.“Iloveyou,Mo.Don’tburdenyourselfwithit.Youdon’tneedtoworryabout

anythingbutusspendingtimetogether.”

Margueritegrabbedapapertowel,blowinghernose.“Idon’twanttothinkaboutwhattheydidto

you.”

Youandmeboth.“Youshouldneverhavetothinkaboutit.”Carolinebenttopickupthesugarand

flour.“Thosegoofballsinthelivingroomareexpectingcookiessolet’snotdisappointthem.”

Margueritewentovertothecabinetagain.“Ifyouneedtorollupyoursleevestowork,Icangetover

it,”shesaid,herbacktoCaroline.

They’dallhavetogetoveritsometime.Orlearntodealwithitmoreeffectively.“Iwantyoutofeel

comfortable,”Carolinesaidsoftly.Hervoicecaught.“Idon’twantyoutobeashamedtolookatme.”

Margueriteputtherestofthebakingingredientsdownandtookhermother’shands.“I’meverything

butashamed.Iloveyou.I’mproudofyou.”

Nosuchthingastoomanyhugs.“I’mnotsureI’mgoingtogetsickofholdingthetwoofyou.Chrissy

too.Imightneedalotofaffection.”

“Idon’thaveaproblemwiththat.Butyou’regoingtohavetoletgoofmelongenoughtoletme

bake.”

Carolinehoppedontothekitchenisland.“Worksforme.I’lljustbarkinstructionsatyou.Let’ssee

howwellyoureplicatemywork.”

“Iacceptyourchallenge,”Margueritesaid.“I’vehadtimetopractice.Mycookiesmightbebetter

thanyours.Canyouhandlethatblowtoyourself-esteem?”

Asnarkybaker.Herfavoritekind.“Oh,hushupandstartmixing.”

ChapterThirteen

“You’restillquitethecook,Jack,”Christinesaid.

Heleanedbackinhischair.“‘Twasnothing.”

“Nonsense.”Shegatheredupherdishes,takingcaretoswipeCaroline’saswell.“Hespoilsyou,you

know.”

Sosaidthewomanwhowasclearingthetablewithoutcomplaint.“Iknow,”Carolinesaid.

“What’sondeckfortherestofthenight?”Sophieasked.

“Bedtimeforbothofyou,”Christinesaid.

Herfacefell.“Really?”

“Thesooneryougotobed,thesoonerwecanspendtimetogethertomorrow,”Carolinesaid.

Margueritewipedtheremnantsofcookieoffherfingers.“Igettostayup,though.Right?”

They’deatenlate,toocaughtupinconversationtofocusonmakingapropermeal.Theyprobably

wouldhavespenttheentireeveningtalkinguntiltheyfellasleepifJackhadn’tgoneintothekitchenand

thrownsomethingtogetherforallofthem.

“It’salmosteleven,”Carolinesaid.“Youneedyourrest.”

MargueritegrabbedSophie’sarm.“Iftheywanttosendustobed,let’sgetoutofherebeforewe

havetohelpcleanup.”

SophiegaveCarolineandJackhugs.“Goodnight,”shesaidsoftly.

Carolinestoodup.“Isit,uh,okayifItuckyouin?”

Margueritecameoverforherownhug.“Bothofus?”

Wassheactingasawkwardasshefelt?“Ifthat’sokay.”

“Ofcourseit’sokay,”Sophiesaid.

“Ijust-”Shehadtoplaythisright.“IwashopingIcouldholdyouforawhile.Unlessthat’sweird.”

Sophieleanedinforanotherhug.“Thatworksforme.”

“I’mgame.”Margueritestarteddraggingherdownthehall.“Ithinkit’ssweet.”

Shestillfeltalittleembarrassedaboutthewholething.“Youtwoarepracticallygrown.”

Sophieslidinbesideher.“Yeah,butyou’reourmom.”

Carolineresistedtheurgetogetweepy.She’ddoneenoughofthatalready.“DidIevertellyouhow

awesomeyouare?”

Margueritemotionedtowardthefirstbedroom.“Thisone’smine.Ihopeyouapprove.”

ShemusthavenoticedCarolinepassingjudgmentonChristine’sdécor.Herroomwasequally

simple,buteclectic.Afewvintagepostersonthewall.Matchingquiltandduvet.Apictureoftheirfamily

onthenightstand.

“Ido,”Carolinesaid.“I’mimpressedthebedismade.”

Margueritemessedupthequiltbeforetossingapillowather.“Notanymore.”SheturnedtoSophie.

“Oldestgoesfirst.”

Sophieshrugged.“Finewithme.MeansIgetthebathroomforaslongasIwant.”

Shedidn’tcareifitwascheesyorcornyorunnecessary–Carolinehadn’tsaidgoodnighttoher

childreninovertwoyearsandshewasgoingtomakeitright.Shespenttimewitheachoftheminturn,

toldthemeachastoryaboutwhentheywereborn,whatitwaslikewhentheygothome,howtheyfelt

abouteachothergrowingup.Andsheheldontothem,huggedthem,remindedthemshelovedthem…just

becauseshecould.Itwasn’tuntilSophieremindedhertheyhadplentyoftimetosharestoriesthatshe

reluctantlyheadedbacktothekitchen.JackandChristinewerewaitingforher.

“Didyouhavefun?”heasked.“Beenwaitingalongtimetodowhatusedtoberoutine.”

Carolinekissedhimonthecheek.“Ienjoyedmyself,yes.”

“Good.Igettodoittomorrownight.”

Thatwassweet.Andverypaternal.“Nowthatthegirlsareinbed,Chrissyisgoingtoaskuslotsof

questions.”

Christinestaredintoherteacup.“Iwasgoingtobuilduptoit.Ifyou’renotreadytotalk,Icanwait.”

Jackshookhishead.“Therearethingsyouneedtoknow.”

Christineshuddered.“Iwasafraidyouweregoingtosaythat.”

“Ithastocomeoutsometime.”

ChristinesqueezedCaroline’shand.“Youdon’thavetotellmeanythingyoudon’twant.Thesame

holdsforyou,Jack.”

“Idon’thavemuchtotell.I’msureyouwanttotalktomywifeanyway.”

“Goahead,”Carolinesaid.“Getitoverwith.”

Christineshovedhercuptotheside.“Ireadsomeofthosereports.Didyouseeanyone…whenyou

wereheldprisoner?”

Friends.Acquaintances.Enemies?“Yeah,”Carolinewhispered.“Quiteafew.”

“Didanyoneelsegetout?”

Carolinecouldn’timagineanyscenarioinwhichtheyhad.“Idoubtit.Idon’tsupposeanyonehere

hasclaimedtohaveescaped?”

“Hardly.Andhonestly,theonlypersonwhosaidhehadanyinvolvementwiththerebellionisthelast

personyou’dexpect.”

Caroline’sstomachlurched.TherewereveryfewpoliticiansonwhomsheandChristineagreed

completely.Butthewayshespoke.Thecontemptinhervoice.Surelyshecouldn’tmean-“Who?”

Christineblewoutahardbreath.“JeffreyMurdock.”

Jackblastedoutofhischair.“Fuck.Fuckfuckfuck.Whereishe?”

He’dcaughtherbysurprise.Christinepracticallyfellontothefloor.“Jeffrey?Idon’tknow.He

doesn’tstayhere.Saidhewantedtoliveonhisown.Ithoughtitwasodd,but-”

“Whereishe?”Jackrepeated.

Hewasbreathingfire,readytotakeontheworldwithnothingbutswiftrageandbarehands.The

kindofreactionsheshouldhavehad.ButCarolinefeltnumb.NothingChristinesaidmadesense.It

couldn’tbepossible.Murdockhadhisownambitionsandgoals,hisownneedforpower.Hesharedthe

samenarcissisticsociopathyasSantos.SurelyhewasstillinWashington,perhapseventheWhiteHouse,

workingsidebysidewiththemanhehadtrieddailytoimpressatTheFed.

“Jack,”Carolinestarted.“Letherexplain.”

Christineglancedbackandforthbetweenthetwoofthem.“Wouldoneofyoupleasetellmewhat’s

goingon?”

JackgrabbedCaroline’sknapsackandstartedrummagingaround.“Someone’sgonnagethisassbeat,

that’swhat.”

Shit.Hewaschannelingherbodyguards.Thatwasn’tgood.Christinebroughtherhandsup,confused.

“Caroline?”

“MurdockwasoneofmyinterrogatorsatTheFed,”shesaid.“I’mnotsureyouwanttoknowallthe

details.”

Christinewentpale.“Heinterrogatedyou?”

Jackslammedhispalmonthetable,hisgunalreadyinhishand.“Callitwhatitis,Caroline.He

torturedher.Almostkilledher.ShetoldtheInternationalCriminalCourtallaboutit.”

Christineputherhandoverhermouth.“I–JesusChrist.”

“Whendidhegethere?”Jackasked.

“Wheneveritgottoohotforhim,Isuspect,”Carolinesaid.

Herbestfriendlookedlikeshewasabouttoloseherdinner.Shestartedpacingaroundthekitchen,

wringingherhands.“Hegothereafewmonthsago.Saidhe’dalmostbeenarrested,he’dbeenworking

withtheUnderground.Andhe–whenthepaperswerereleasedhecamehereandcomfortedus.”She

broughtatremblingfingertoherlips.“Ican’t-”

Carolinehaddoneherbesttobetheadult.TostaysanewhenJackwaslosinghishead.Buther

tormentor,hertorturer,hernemesis…hehadconsoledherbestfriendandchildren?Hercoolresolve

shattered.“Hewashere?Inthisapartment?When?”

Christinewipedhermouth.Yes,shedefinitelylookedill.“Rightaftertherecordswerereleased.He

cameoveronawhimand-”

“Didhetouchmychildren?”CarolineresistedtheurgetoshakeChristinebytheshoulders.“Didhe?

Didhetouchyou?Whatdidhesaytoyou?”

Christinesankintoherchair,warilyeyeingJack,whowasrunningoneofhispalmsbackandforth

acrossthebarrelofhishandgun.“Hegaveushugs.ToldafewstoriesaboutCongress.Itwastotal

bullshitbutIwasstillinsuchshockthatIdidn’tstophim.Whenhewasdonehekissedmycheek,toldme

andthegirlshe’dalwaysadmiredyourtenacity.”Sheputherfaceinherhands.“Punky,I’msosorry.I

feelsick.”

Murdockwasexactlywhotheythoughthewas.Whohealwayswouldbe.“It’snotyourfault,”

Carolinesaid.“He’sasociopath.”

“Iwantedtogivehimthebenefitofthedoubt,”Christinewhispered.“Aftereverythingthat’s

happened,Iwantedtobelievehewasagoodperson.”

Carolineclenchedherfists.Christinewasn’ttoblame.Norwasshe,orJack,ortheirchildren.The

blamelaysolelyatthefeetofoneJeffreyMurdock.“Don’tbemadatyourselfforbeingadecenthuman

being,”shesaid.“Youcouldn’thaveknown.”

“We’regoingtogethimhere,”Jacksaid.“There’sawarrantforhisarrest.Gethimherenow.”

Fuck.Hewaslockedandloadedandjustashotheadedasher.Shewasn’tsurehowshewasableto

regainhersenseofcalm,butifitmeantshekeptherhusbandfrommakingagrievouserror,she’dtakeit.

Carolineyankedhisarm.“Jesus,Jack.Whatareyougoingtodo?RunaroundOttawaandgunhimdown?

Putdowntheweapon.”

Heshovedtheguninhiswaistband.“Heconnedyourbestfriendandourchildren.Hetorturedyou.A

bulletinhischestisamercykillingcomparedtowhatI’dliketodotohim.Whereishe?”

Sheturnedaround.“Chrissy,helpmereasonwithhim.”

Christineputherheadinherhands.“I’mnotsureIwantto.Unfortunately,Idon’tknowwherehe

is…notrightnow.Wecangethimhere,though.”

“Let’sdothat.We’lllettheMountiesknowthere’safugitiveinourmidst.”Carolineheldouther

hand.“Jack,givemeyourweapon.”

Hescowledather,reluctantlyhandingitover.“Iwantitfuckingback.”

Dammit.BeforetheyleftCanadahe’dbeboundanddeterminedtohaveavillain’sbloodonhis

righteoushands.“Notwhenyou’reupset.”

Christinenotsodiscreetlytoppedoffherteawithsomewhiskey.“Idon’tbelievethis.”

Poorwoman.She’dhadquitetheday.“It’s…well,Iwon’tlie,Chrissy.You’regoingtohaveto.”

“Iknow.”Christinestaredatthehandgun.“IthinkI’dfeelalittlebetterifyouputthataway.”

Sowouldtheyall.ThelastthingCarolineneededwasareactionaryandoverlyemotionalhusband

withaloadedweapon.ShecouldhideitinChristine’sroom,perhaps.“Jack,you’retired.Callitaday.”

Hestartedpacing.Yeah,thatprobablywasn’tgoingtohappen.“Tomorrow,”hesaid.“Wegethim

heretomorrow.Wenailhisasstothewall.Weletthecopstakecareoftherest.”

She’dfindawaytokeephimfromdoinganythingstupid.Maybetheycouldaskforafewextra

Mountiesjustincase.“We’llgethimherewhenwecan,”Carolinesaid.“Andyou’dbestlistento

Chrissy.It’sherhouse.”

Jacklethisshouldersslump.“I’msorry,Christine.Ishouldn’thave–we’veallhadalongdayandI

havetolearntocontrolmyselfbetter.”

“HardtodowhenitinvolvesPunky.”ShetookthegunoutofCaroline’shand.“Thisisloaded?”

“Itis.Becareful.”

Christinehelditbythemuzzle.“I’llputthissomeplacesafe,”shesaid,andhustledintoherbedroom.

AwayfromJack,shemeant.Carolinepattedhischeek.“Getsomerest.”

Heglancedtowardthelivingroom.“Yousure?”

“I’dfeelbetterknowingoneofuswaswellrested.”

Christinereturnedtothekitchenlookingrelieved.Yeah,shestillhadnointerestinfirearms.Jack

gaveCarolineakiss.“Behave.Bothofyou.Wakemeupifyouneedanything.”

Protectiveanddotingasalways.“Iwill.”

Heheadedtothecouch,fluffingupapillowChristinehadplacedonthearmrestforhim.Heand

Carolinejointlydecidedhe’dcrashtherewhileshesharedaroomwithChristine.Christinetriedtogive

thembothherbedroombuttheyrefused.

Hedozedoffrightaway.Carolineknewhewould.She’dneverbeenabletofallasleepeasily,

especiallynow.Shewasjealoushewasabletomanageitsoquickly.

“Thegirlsseemtobedoingokay,”shesaidsoftly.“BetterthanIthought.”

Christinesetasteamingcupofteaonthetableinfrontofher.“Todaywasagoodday.Ithinkthey

shouldstayhomeforaslongasyou’rehere.Particularlysinceveryfewpeopleknowyou’realive.”

“Peoplewillfigureitouteventually.I’vebeendebatingwhetherweneedtotakethatstep.Once

SantosfindsoutabouttheICCinvestigation,he’llknowI’mthestarwitness.”

“True,”Christinemused.“Butyoudon’thavetoadvertiseit.Thatwouldbelookingfortrouble.”

WhichCarolineseemedtobefamousfor.“Desperatetimes,”shesaid,glancingatthelivingroom.

Jackwascurledupcomfortablyonthecouch,stillinhisstreetclothes.Carolinecoveredhimupwitha

blanketshe’dfoundneatlyfoldedonthetopofarecliner.Heshiftedandshekissedhischeek,smoothing

backhishairbeforereturningtothekitchen.

“Youtwoarecute,”Christinesaid.

“YouthinktheleadersofthenextAmericanRevolutionarecute?”

“Imeantthetwoofyoutogether.It’snice.”

Shesoundedgenuinelyhappy.“Itusedtobugthehelloutofyou.”

“Doesn’tbothermesomuchnow.”

Carolinetookasipoutofherowncupoftea.“IkindoflikenewChristine.”

“Shehasn’thadalotgoingforherlately.”

“Don’tsaythat.She’sdoneagreatjobwithmynerdlings.”

Christinestirredherteaagain.“Shedidwhatshecould.”

“Iknow.”Besttodamnthetorpedoes.They’dtiptoedlongenough.EvenabriefreferencetoTheFed

wasn’tenough.“Isthereanythingyou’dliketotalkabout?”

“YouandJacktellingmeJeffreyMurdockisasadistisn’tenoughforonenight?”

Andshehadn’theardthehalfofit.JustvagueallusionstotheICCinvestigationandabriefhistoryof

JackandCaroline’stravels.Carolineswallowedthetremorinhervoice.“Iknowyou,Chrissy.Youneed

details.Idon’tknowhowmuchIcantellyoubutIdon’twantyoutogocrazy.”

“I’vealreadygonealittlecrazy.Itseemssillytomakeyoutalkaboutuncomfortabletopicssimplyto

makemefeelbetter.”

“Thenasktheeasyquestions.Wedon’thavetotalkaboutthehardstuff.Iknowtherearethingsyou

didn’twanttoaskinfrontofthegirls.”

Christinestoodup.“Idon’twanttotalkouthere.”

“Whateveryouwant,”Carolinesaid,followingChristineintoherbedroom,closingthedoorbehind

them.Shesethermugdirectlyontothewoodennightstand,laughingwhenChristinemoveditontopofa

magazineinstead.“StillsomeOCDthere,Senator.”

“Justashade.”

“So,”Carolinesaid.“Whatdoyouwanttoknow?”

“Whydoesthegovernmentthinkyou’redead?Howdidyoupullthatoneoff?”

Man,shewasplowingtowardActIIwithoutseeingthebeginningorstoppingforanintermission.

“Straightintothemeat,Isee.”

“Youdidn’tgivemeanylimits.I’llask,andyoucantellmeifyoudon’twanttoanswer.”

Thatseemedfairenough.CarolineexplainedtoChristinewhathadhappenedatthefederalholding

facility.Thesanitizedversion,whichwasstillprettydamnpainful.Therewerecertainthingsshe’dputat

thebackofhermind,desperatenottorelive.Especiallysinceshe’dhadtorelivetheminTheHague.But

shetoldheraboutthebeatings,aboutPowell/EdwardsandFischer,aboutMurdock,aboutBobandEllie,

aboutherdevastationathearingwhatshebelievedtobetrueaboutthegirls.Showedherthescarsonher

wrists,thetattooonherarm.Christinecried,feelingguiltyforneedingcomfort,butCarolinewasgladto

provideit.ShetookChristinethroughherjourneyacrossthecountry,herdifficultiesadjustingatthebase,

herfriendshipwithNatalie,herlong,hardstruggletoreconnectwithJack.

ChristineputherchinonCaroline’sshoulder.“I’msosorry,Punky.”

“Don’tbesorry.Youdidn’tcauseanyofit.”

“Ioweyouanexplanation,”Christinesaid.

“Aboutwhat?”

“Idon’treallytalkaboutwhathappenedtousthatnightattheborderstop.”Christinebitherlip.“I

feelsobadly;MaggieandSophtriedtoprodmeintotalkingaboutitandIwouldn’t.ButyouknowI’ve

neverbeenonetoshare,notevenwithTom.”

“No,”Carolinesaid.“Youhaven’t.Istillhaveahardtimetalkingabouteverythingthat’shappened.I

talkedtoNatalieandJackaboutit,managedtogetthroughthatdeposition,butthememoriesarestillso…

raw.Idon’tlikethinkingaboutit.”

“DoyouwanttoknowhowMurdockgotyourscarf?Andthatstuffedanimal?”

Carolinebroughtherheadup.Shehadn’trememberedmentioningthatdetail.“DidItellyouthat?”

“Yousaidenough.Ipiecedittogether.Iknowthat’swhyyouthoughtMargueriteandSophiewere

dead.Youknewdamnwellthey’dnevergivethosethingsup.Ever.Butthere’sagoodreasonhehad

them.”Christineclosedhereyes.“Thatonemomenthascausedyousomuchmiserythelasttwoyears.”

Themiserywasn’tconfinedtoCaroline.“Chrissy,youdon’thavetotalkaboutanyofthis.”

“Iwantto,”shesaid,hereyeswatery.“Ithinkitwouldmakemefeelbetter.Mightmakeyoufeel

bettertoo.”

“Oritmightmakeusbothfeellikeshit.”

“Thatisalsoadistinctpossibility.”

“Okay,”Carolinesaidsoftly.“Butifyouneedtostop,youcan.Iwon’tholditagainstyou.”

Christinegrippedherhand.“Itwassnowingthatnight.Wechangedplansnumeroustimesafterwe

leftyourhouse.WeconsideredgoingthroughBuffalobutTomthoughtitbettertopickamoreobscure

outpostsowewouldn’tbesoconspicuous.Inhindsight,itmadeusbiggertargets.Butifwehadn’tgoneto

FortCovington,wewouldhavenevermadeitacrossifwehadtoleavethecar.Becauseofthewater,”

sheexplained.

Carolinelaughed.“I’msomewhatfamiliarwithAmericangeography.”

Christinesmiledwryly.“WhichborderdidyouandJackheadtoward?”

Shehadn’tlostherperceptiveness.“Buffalo.We’renotaslogicalasyou.”

“Ithadnothingtodowithme.Margueriterememberedthatpartofthestatefromsummercamp.You

canthankyourdaughterforthatchangeofplans.”

Maybeallthatdrivinghadpaidoff.“SoyouheadedtoupstateNewYork,”Carolinesaid.

“Wegottherelateonenight.Theoutpostisverysmall.WehadyourfakeIDs,theaccount

information,everythingyou’dgivenme.Jessandthegirlshadafewotheritemsintheirbackpacks,and

TomandJesshadconcealedthosegunsyougaveus.Butwedidn’twantanytrouble.We’dtakenafew

stepstodisguiseourselves,justenoughtomatchthoseoddpicturesyou’dputonthepassports.Whenthey

firsttookourdocumentsIthoughtthey’dletuspass.Ifweweren’tsoeasilyrecognizableitmighthave

worked.”

“Thosepassportsweren’tcheap,”Carolinesaid.

“Theyweregood.Theywouldhaveworkedforlowerprofilepeople,I’msureofit.”

“Ishouldn’thavemadeyoudoit.”

“Enoughofthat.I’vetoldyouhowIfeelaboutthatissueandyoukeepbringingitup.Letmefinish

mydamnstory.”

Yes,newChristinewasdefinitelywelcome.Carolinerestedherheadonhershoulder.“Goon,”she

whispered.

“Theguyattheboothsteppedintotheiroffice.Icouldseehimtalkingtoanotherman,pointing

towardus.OncehepulledashotgunoutofaclosetIknewwehadtobolt.Wegrabbedwhatwecouldand

startedrunningtowardtheforest.TheCanadianborderwasnearby;wejustweren’tsurewhere.”

“TomandJesswerebehindus,”Christinesaid.“Theywanted–theyhadtheguns,theytoldusto

keeprunning,nomatterwhat.Icouldhearvoicestellingustostop,butwedidn’tlisten.Weranpasta

clearingintothewoods.ThankGodI’dbeensmartenoughtowearbootsbutIstillhadthatstupid

cashmerecoatandscarfon.They’renotallthatpracticaltotraipsearoundinthesnow.Westarteddarting

inbetweenthetreesandIheardgunshots.Tomyelledatustokeeprunningbutthesnowwassodeepwe

weremostlydiggingourwaythrough.”Shetookadeepbreath,tryingtopaceherself.“Iheardgunfire,a

heavyexchange.Ineverknewwhatitsoundedlikebeforethat.Ihittheground,shieldingthegirls.Welay

inthesnowandlistened.TomandJesshadtohavebeenagoodfiftyfeetbehindus.Thenthegunfire

stoppedandIheardthesoundofmenretreating.”

CarolineputherarmsaroundChristine.Thatwasallshecoulddo.

“Idon’tknowwhytheypulledback,”Christinesaid.“Partofmethoughtitwasatricktodrawus

out.ButIcouldn’thelpmyself.Iwalkedbacktowardtheclearinganyway,hidingbehindthetrees.I

peekedoutandacoupleofmenwereontheground,yardsaway,notmoving.Therestmusthavegone

backtothepatroloffice.Maybetosearchourcar,maybebecausetheythoughtthey’dgottenusall,Idon’t

know.Itwasallsoconfusing.Blurry.AndthenIsawher.”

Carolineclosedhereyes.“Whodidyousee,Chrissy?”

“Mybabygirl,”shewhispered,andstartedtocry.

Jess.ThechildCarolinehadadorednearlyasmuchasherowndaughters.“Where?”sheasked

softly.

Christinegrabbedatissue.“Bythispinetree.Itwasthedamndestthing.Itwastallandgreenand

glorious.Shroudedinsnowbutsocleanandfresh.Majesticandbeautifulinthemiddleofthisdisgusting

bloodybattleground.She’dbeenshotintheheadandtheback.Throughandthrough.Shewasalready

dead.Icouldn’t–Ididn’tknowwhattodo.Myheartstopped.IcouldhearMaggieandSophcomingup

behindmeandItriedtoblocktheirview.Sophiestartedscreaming.Margueritecoveredhermouth,

tellinghertobequiet,thatthemenwouldcomeback.ItwaslikeIwasoutsidemyself,justfloatingaway.

IwastemptedtorunoutintotheclearingandmakemyselfatargetbutMarguerite’svoicebroughtme

backtoreality.”

“Oh,Chrissy.”

Christineletoutanothersob.“AndthenIheardhim.”

“Chrissy,youdon’thaveto-”

“Iwantto.”Hersorrowflaredtoanger.“Youneedtoknowthis.Youneedtoknowwhattheydidfor

us.”

Carolinecouldrespectthat.Ifshedealtwiththingsinherownway,shehadtoacknowledgewhen

Christineneededthesameconsideration.Catharsiswasnevereasy.“Okay.”

“Hewastryingtopullhimselfupagainstatree.”Christinestartedweepingagain.“He’dbeenshotin

theabdomen.Therewasbloodeverywhere.AndheknewaswellasIthat-”Sheblewhernose.“Iran

overtohim.Margueritewasbehindme.Idon’tknowwhereSophiewas.Itookmyscarfoffandpressed

ittothewoundbutitsoakedthroughalmostimmediately.Icouldn’tgetenoughpressuretoslowthe

bleedingdown.Margueritehandedmeherscarfbutthatwasjustasuseless.Itried.Myhandswere

shaking,theywerecoveredinblood,andTomkepttellingmetogo.Leavewiththegirls,runacrossthe

borderbeforethemencameback.ButIwasn’tlistening.Ikepttryingtostop–therewassomuchblood.”

Christinerestedherheadinherhands.Notweeping,notspeaking,notscreaming,notyelling.Just

agonizinglyquiet.Carolineheldher.Itwasn’therplacetosayadamnthing.Shejusthadtowaituntil

Chrissywasabletomovealong.ShewasstartingtorealizethatChristinehadbeentellingthetruth.She

reallyhadnevertalkedaboutthisbefore.Andthefirsttimewasalwaysthehardest.

Christinebroughtherheadup.“Finallyhegrabbedmycoat.Hewassoweak.Iknew-”Sheblewher

noseagain.“I’mgoingtorunoutoftissues,”shesaid.

“It’sokay,”Carolinesaid.“I’vebeenthere.”

“Ishouldhavetalkedtothegirlsaboutthis.”

“You’retalkingaboutitnow.Keepgoing,ifyoucan.”

Christinesmiledather.“Ireallyloveyou,Caroline.”

Thatdeservedanotherhug.Andakissonthecheek.“Iknow.”

Anotherdeepbreath.Anothertissue.“TherewasnothingmoreIcoulddo,”Christinesaidshakily.

“Tomclutchedmyhandandtoldmetorun,thatitwouldbeokaybecausehewaswithJess.Hesaidhe

knewhe’dseemeagain,becauseI’dalwaysbeenagoodCatholicgirlandI’dbegoingstraighttothetop

withoutanylayovers.”Sheshookherhead.“Thatobnoxiousman.Andthen,hewas–hefellasleep.”

CarolinekeptherarmsaroundChristine.“I’msosorry,Chrissy.Thisisallmyfault.”

Christinewriggledaway.“SaythatagainandIwillsmackyou.Imeanit.Weknewwhatwewere

doing.Wewerefullypreparedtodoanythingnecessarytokeepyourchildrensafe.”

“I’mnotworthyoffriendslikeyou.That’stoomuch.”

“Itisn’t.Nosacrificeistoogreatforlove.”

Affectioncouldwoundasmuchasitcouldheal.Shetrulydidn’tdeserveChristine.Buthellifshe

wasgoingtoeverlethergoagain.“Jessie,”Carolinewhispered,andcoveredherface.

Christinestartedcryingsoftly.“MargueriteandIstayedwithThomasforaminute.ShecouldtellI

was…notwell.Therestofthenightisratherfuzzy.Ijuststartedmovingrobotically.I’mnotsurewhat

keptmegoing.ButIknewDundeewasacrosstheborder.SophiewasstillsittinginthesnowbyJess.

She’dgivenherthathippo,wrappeditinherarms.Shesaid-”Christinegulped.“Shesaidshedidn’twant

Jesstogetlonely.Isnatchedherupandstarteddragginghertowardtheborder.Shewasscreaming,I

think.Itriedtoblockitout.WehadtheirbackpacksandwhatIhadhiddeninmycoat,sowehadlittleof

valuewithus.Maybesomefood,butnothingwecouldusetokeepourselvesaliveinthewoods.Our

windowofopportunitywasshort.Therewastoomuchblowingsnow,toogreatapossibilitythoseborder

agentswouldcomeafterusagain.Ican’tevenrememberhowwegottothepolicedepartment.Marguerite

saidIgrabbedalltheCanadiancurrencyoutofherbackpackandbribedsometruckdriver.I’msurprised

hepickedusup.Iwascoveredinbloodandthethreeofusmusthavelookedlikehell.”

“Whenwegottothepolicestation,theycalledforadoctortomakesurewewereokay.Theycalled

thechiefin,whichIguessisn’tabigdealbecauseDundeeisprettysmall.OncehegotthereIsomehow

foundmyselfanddemandedtospeakwiththeRoyalCanadianMountedPolice.FromwhatMarguerite

tellsme,Iwasasighttobehold,becauseitwasenoughtogetusinasquadcarheadedforthePrime

Minister’sresidence.”

“Inthemiddleofthenight?”Carolineasked.

“Yes.”

Dundeewaseasily200kilometersfromOttawa.“That’sprettyfar.”

“Thedriveisevenlongerwhenyou’reinshock.TheywokethePrimeMinisterupinthemiddleof

thenightandbrokeanynumberofCanadiantrafficlawstogetusthere.Iassumetheywantedtogetus

awayfromtheborderasquicklyaspossible.Imighthavestrong-armedDenisintoputtingusintowitness

protection,butwhateverIsaidworked.”

“Mychildrenhavetheprotectionofanentirecountrybecauseofyou?”

Christineshrugged.“Iguessso.”

“Well,”Carolinesaid.“That’sprettyflattering.”

“I’dprefertothinkit’sareflectionofmyamazingnegotiatingtactics.Iwouldn’tinterpretitas

anythingelse.”

CarolinefrownedatChristine.“Youarenotfunny.”

Christinetearedupagain.“IfIdonotlaughIwillquiteliterallycry.”

Wasn’tthattrueforeveryone.She’dearnedanotherhug.“ThePrimeMinisterlearnedprettyquickly

nottofuckwithyou,”Carolinesaid.

“Youcanimaginehowenthusiasticheistodealwithmeonaregularbasis.”

Shecouldhugandthankandkissandjokebutitwouldneverbeenough.Carolinelookeddownather

hands.“IwantyoutoknowhowmuchIlovedTomandJess.Inever–Iwouldn’thaveaskedyoutodo

thisifIthoughttherewasanychanceyouwouldn’tmakeit.”

Christinekissedherforehead.“Youhavetostopapologizing,Caroline.Iwoulddoanythingforyou.

Youknowthat.TomandJessweremorethanwillingtodowhatittooktogettherestofustosafety.”

Jesus.TherehadneverbeenanyquestionaboutthecourageoftheSullivanfamily,butnowtheyhad

concreteproof.Howpreciousathingtoknowthatsomeonewouldbewillingtoliterallylaydowntheir

lifeforyou.Thatwaslove.Deep,abidinglove.“Thethreeofyouareamazing,”Carolinesaid.“Just

amazing.”

“Thetwoofthem,”Christinecorrected.“Ijustfollowedtheirlead.AndImissthem.Somuch.It’s

likethere’sthisholeinmyheartthatcanneverberepaired.IwishIwouldhavetoldthemIlovedthem

moreoften.Ineversaidthatenough.Tothem,orSusannah,oryou.”

“Weallknewhowyoufelt.Althoughit’snicetoheariteveryonceinawhile.”Carolinelethergaze

drifttowardthedoor.Howcouldshehaveforgotten?“Chrissy,I,uh,havesomethingyoumightwant.”

“Anotherhug?”

Humor.Amuchbetterdefensemechanismthanthealternative.“No,”Carolinesaid,andleanedinfor

oneanyway.“Holdon.”

ShedidherbestnottodisturbJack.Sherummagedthroughherknapsackuntilshefoundthewatch,

shovingitinherpocket.Christinehadalreadyturneddownthebedwhenshereturned,butCarolinegot

thesensetheyweren’tgoingtosleepjustyet.Whatwasthebestwaytodoit?Handitovercasually?

Makeapresentationoutofit?Shedidn’twanttosetChrissyoffagain.

“It’ssomethingthat’simportanttoyou,”Carolinesaidsoftly.“Ijustwanttomakesureitwon’tupset

you.”

“We’refarpastpreventingouremotionsfrombubblingover.”Christinehuggedapillowtoherchest.

“Bestgetitoverwith.”

Carolinetookthewatchoutofherpocket,placingitonthebednexttoChristine.“Itookthiswithme

toTheHague.Asagoodluckcharm,atalisman,Idon’tknow.Ithelpedmegetthrough.”

Christineturneditover,coveringhermouthasshereadtheinscription.“Howonearthdidyouget

this?”

“It’salongstory.”Thatendswithmekickingaguyintheballs.

“WhyamInotsurprised?”

ShecouldgiveChrissytheshortversion.“Oneofmy…interrogators.Adoubleagent.Turnedrebel

spybutdidn’tbothertellingusheusedtotorturefolksatTheFed.HekeptTom’swatchandgaveittome

beforeweturnedhimovertointernationalauthorities.”

Christinerolledthewatchinherhands.“Ihaveafeelingyourstoriesaregoingtotakealotlonger

thanjustonenight.”

Shewaseerilycalm.Thewayshewouldhaveacted…before.Wasthatagoodsign?“Areyou

okay?”Carolineasked.

“No.”Christinechokedbackasob.“Butthismakesmefeelbetter.”Shepressedthewatchtoher

nosebeforerubbingitagainsthercheek.Astrangeritual,butCarolinewasn’tonetoquestion.Ifitlether

feelclosertoherdeceasedhusband,itwasworthdoing.“IrememberwhenIgavethistohim,”shesaid.

“He’dwantyoutohaveit.”

“Iknow.”Christineleanedoverforanotherhug.“Thankyouforgivingittome.I’mgladithelped

you.”

“Ihopeithelpsyoutoo.”

Christineslidthenightstanddraweropen,carefullyplacingthewatchinside.“Well,”shesaid.“Nice

weatherwe’rehaving.”

Atonofsnowanditwascolderthanhell,buthercircumventionwasdulynoted.“Thisallseems

verysurreal.”

“Maybeweshouldgetbacktomystory.”

Shedidn’tsoundallthatenthusiasticaboutit.“Areyousure?”Carolineasked.

“Yeah.”Sheclutchedthepillowagain.“Itwashard.WhenweleftyouandJack.Sophiecriedfor

hoursinthecar.ItriedtokeepittogetherthebestIcould.SodidTom.JessandMargueritewere

doggedlystoic.I’veneverseenanythinglikeit.Youhaveanextremelytoughdaughter.”

“Godknowshowsheturnedoutthatway.I’matotalcrybaby.”

Christinegaveherahardlook.“Youknowdamnwellwhereshegetsitfrom.”Shegesturedat

Caroline’swrists.“Youwouldn’tbesittingherenowifyoudidn’thaveitinyoutoo.”

“Sophie’shadaroughtime.Icantell.”

“Shehas.Andshe’sawonderfulgirl.She’sjustsensitivesometimes.”

Herchildrenhadsufferedbuttheyhadsurvived.Maybeeventhrived,intheirhappiermoments.

“You’vedonesuchanincrediblejob,Chrissy.I’llneverbeabletorepaythisdebt.”

“Idon’texpectyouto.”

Carolinerubbedherwrists.“Thesearen’ttheonlyscarsIhave,”shewhispered.“I’mabigol’

bundleofthem.Emotionalandphysical.”

“Theydon’thavetodictateyourlife.They’reareminderthatyou’rebetterthanthosebastardswho

gavethemtoyou.”

Howperceptive.“Jacksaidalmostexactlythesamething.”

“IsthereanywaywecansayIthoughtofitfirst?”

Christinefeltcomfortable.Relaxed.IfCarolinecouldtellthetruth,shecouldshowitaswell.“This

wasalittlepresentfromJeffrey,”shesaid,liftinguphershirt.“RightbeforeIgotout.Thiswashowhe

wantedmetodie.”

Christineblanched.“Thatlookslikeitwasstitchedbyafiveyearold.”

“Oh,thatwasCrunch,”Carolinesaidabsently.“D.C.wasinthemiddleofabrownout,sohehadto

doitinthebasementofthesafehousewewerestayinginwithsomethreadandaneedle.Alltheyhad

wasaflashlight.”

Christinesprangupandranintothebathroom,slammingthedoorbehindher.Carolinecouldhearher

retching,thenatoiletflushandwaterrunning.

“Chrissy,”shecalled,knockingonthedoor.“Areyouokay?”

Christineemergedafewminuteslater.Thehairaroundherfacewasdamp,andshestilllookeda

littleill.Sheslumpedontothebed.“Youcan’tsaythingslikethattome.Especiallythewayyousayit,

likeit’snothingunusual.”

“It’sthetruth,”Carolinesaid,inthematteroffacttonethatshewassurewasannoyingthehelloutof

Christine.“Iwasn’tconsciouswhilehewasdoingit,anyway.”

“Maybeyoushouldhaveledwiththat.”ChristinewrappedherarmaroundCaroline.“Notthatit

makesanydifference.Oh,Punky.”

“Yousaidyouwantedtoknowwhathappened.Don’tactlikeyoudidn’tsuspectitwascompletely

horrific.”

“Ican’tbelieveIletthatpieceofshitMurdockcomfortme.Comfortyourchildren.I’msorry,”

Christinesaid.“It’snotfairformetobeupset,either.Youexperiencedthis.Ijusthavetohearaboutit.”

Whichwasitsownuniquepain,onethatdeservedacknowledgment.“Youhadnowayofknowing

whohewas.Idon’tthinkanyofusthoughthewascapableofwhathehelpeddotome.Andhe’llget

what’scomingtohim.”

“Hedamnwellbetter.”Christineyawned.“Canwegotosleep?”

Suchaninnocentrequest.“It’sbeenalongday.”

“Yes.Yes,ithas.”

Carolinepattedthebedspread.“I,uh,don’tsleepverywell.”

“NeitherdoI.”

“Ihavenightmares.”

“Metoo.”

“Isayrandomthingsoccasionally.IalsohavethisweirdlegthingwhereIkicksometimes.”

“Areyoutryingtoreassureorwarn?”

“Both.”

“Idonotdoeitherofthosethings.Youwin.”ChristinegaveCarolineanotherhug.“IsuspectI’ll

sleepbetterthanIhaveinyears.”

Carolinefluffedthepillows.“You’reprobablyright.”

ChapterFourteen

Christinemadethemapassablebreakfastthenextmorning.She’dsleptfairlywellasfarasCaroline

couldtell,butstilljumpedwhenthedoorbellrang.

“Rightontime,”Carolinesaid.“It’sokay,Chrissy.Justourbodyguards.”

Jackglancedatthekitchenclock.“Itoldthemtobehereatninethirty.”

“Iaskedthemtostopsomewherefirst.”Carolineopenedthedoor.“Hi,guys.”

Thethreemenhustledinsidequickly.“Sir,”Gigsaid,astheysalutedJackinturn.

“Goodmorning,gentlemen,”hesaid.

“Howcomeyouhardlyeversalutemelikethat?”Carolineasked.

Crunchthrewhisarmaroundher.“Weknowyouwon’tgetpissyoverit.”

“Andyou’resomuchnicerthanhim,”saidJones.“Wedon’twanttoruinyourreputationbygiving

youabighead.”

GiggaveCarolineapatontheshoulder.“ThoseMountiesareanintensebunch.Theytookourguns.

Canyoumakeacall?We’renotverycapablebodyguardswithoutthem.”

“I’monit,”Christinesaid,andheadedtowardherbedroom.

CrunchgaveCarolineapeckonthecheek.“Wegotthatthingyouwanted.ImadeJonesiedoit.”

Jonessetaplasticbagdownonthecoffeetable.“Youknowwhatit’slikewhenIwalkintoa

drugstoreandbuywhiteladyshit?Somestrangelooks.You’reluckyIlikeyou,Princess.”

Margueritelaughed.“Youcallmymother‘Princess’?”

“It’salongstory,”Carolinesaid.“Watchyourlanguage,Jonesie.We’restilloperatingunderthe

assumptionthatmydaughtersarediffidentanddemure.”

“It’snotalongstory,”Crunchinsisted.“Icantellitinaboutthirtyseconds.”

“What’sinthebag?”Sophieasked.

Carolinehandedittoher.“Openitup.”

Sophielookedinsidethebag.“Hairdye?”

“Feltlikeitwastime.SoonthewholeworldisgoingtoknowI’malive.”

“DoIgettohelp?”

Heryoungestdaughtersoundedsoeager.“Absolutely.Hopefullywecanfindatowelthatdidn’tcost

AuntChrissyeleventybillionCanadiantaxpayerdollars.”

Christinecamebackintothelivingroom.“Youmayretrieveyourweaponsatanytime.TheMounties

knowyou’reallowedtokeepthemwheneveryou’reinthisbuilding.”SheglancedatJackandCaroline.

“Ialsoletthemknowyouwerecarryingfirearmsaswell.Toremindthemthatperhapstheyshoulddoa

betterjobofvettingvisitors.”

“We’reprettydangerous,”Carolinesaid.

“I’veseenherinthefield,”Crunchsaid.

Joneslaughed.“I’veseenhermakeawickedshank.”

Shecouldprobablycarvetheendofatoothbrushintoapointifshewasdeterminedenough.“No,you

haven’t.”

Gigshookhisheadather.“Idoubtyouneedourprotectionatall.”

“You’llnoticenoneofthemmentionedyou,Jack.”Carolinewinkedathim.

“Likelybecausethey’veneverseenmedoanythinguntoward.Whatdoyouthinkthatsaysabout

you?”

“ThatI’mfun?”sheasked.

“Ifeelmuchmorecomfortableknowingyou’rehere,”ChristinesaidtoGig.“Regardlessof

CommanderGerard’scavalierattitude.”

“Thankyou,ma’am,”Gigsaid.

Sheextendedherhand.“I’mChristineSullivan.”

Heshookit.“Iknow.StevenGigowski.IusuallygobyGig.Verynicetomeetyou,finally.”

“GigusedtobeacopinChicago,”Carolinesaid.

“Thatmustcomeinhandy,”Christinesaid.

CarolinepunchedGigonthearm.“Wetalkaboutpizzaalot.”

CrunchcameoverandshookChristine’shand.“SebastianRodriguez,”hesaid.“Butpleasecallme

Crunch.YouusedtobringyoursuitstobetailoredattheplaceIworkedatonKStreet.Itwasalwaysa

pleasureworkingwithyou.”

“You’reaterribleliar,Mr.Rodriguez.Iwasneverallthatnicetoservicepeople.”

“Well,Iwasusuallyintheback.Somyopinionisn’tbasedonpersonalinteractions.”

Christinesmiledcagily.“Verydiplomatic.”

JonescameovertoChristineandgaveherabearhug.Whenheletgoofher,shelookedmystified.

Carolinepattedhisshoulder.“You’regoingtoscareher,Jonesie.”

“What,she’sneverbeenhuggedbyablackdudebefore?”

“That’snotwhatImeant.Youmightwanttobeslightlymoredetachedwithpeopleyoujustmeet.

Particularlysinceyou’reabadassrebelsoldier.”

“Shelookedlikesheneededahug.Especiallyifshe’sbeencoopedupwithyouforthepast24

hours,”hesaid,holdinghishandouttoChristine,whostillappearedbaffled.“I’mMarcusJones,butmy

friendscallmeJonesie.”

“Doyouallhavenicknames?”Christineasked,smoothingherblouse.

“It’seasierthatway,”Carolinesaid.

“Sowhat’syourstory,Mr.Jones?”

“CommanderGerardsentmetoprisonwhenIwasateenager.IhadagunwhenIshouldn’thave.”

“Isee.Howinteresting.”Christine’sexpressionchanged.“Whichofthethreeofyouhelpedget

Carolineoutofthat….place?”

“ThatwasCrunchandJonesie,”Gigsaid.“Ididn’tmeetupwiththemuntillater.”

“Well.”ChristinegaveCrunchandJoneshugs.“Thankyouverymuch,”shesaidsoftly.Sheturnedto

Gigandgavehimahugtoo.“Andthankyoufordoingwhateveritisyou’vebeendoing,Mr.Gigowski.”

“I’mtheeyecandy,”hesaid,andChristinelaughed.

“See?”Jonessaid.“She’swarmingupalready.”

“Youcansmackhimifyouwant,”Carolinesaid.“He’snotarmed.I’lldefendyou.”

Jonesmimickedaboxingstance.“Youlovemypersonality.Andmystyle.”

“Indeedwedo,”Jacksaidsmoothly.“Wouldyouliketomeetourchildren?ThisisSophieand

Marguerite.”

Thegirlsstooduptogreetthem,andtoCaroline’ssurprise,theyhuggedthemenaswell.

“Thankyoufortakingcareofmymom,”Sophiesaidsoftly.

MargueritepointedatJones.“Didmymotherreallyprosecuteyou?”

JonesthrewhisarmaroundCaroline.“Yeah,butshehelpedmegetapardonafter.Sowe’regood.”

“What’sthegameplan?”Gigasked.“Imean,afterGerardpullsaMissClairol.”

Jackturnedtothegirls.“Canyougiveusafewminutes?”

Margueritedidn’tlooktoopleasedaboutthatatall.Carolinepattedhershoulder.“We’llexplain

later.”

“But-”

“Go,”Carolinesaidfirmly.

“Fine,”Margueritegrumbled.“Let’sgo,Soph.Iknowhowtolistenthroughthewalls.”

They’dknoweverythingsoonenough.Buttheydidn’tneedtoknowitnow.“Don’tyoudare.”

CarolineturnedtoChristineafterthey’dleft.“Canyoureallyhearthroughthewalls?”

“She’sbluffing.”

“Itdoesn’tmattermuch,”Jacksaid.“We’regoingthroughthegameplanfortomorrow,whichthey’ll

eventuallyknowanyway.”

“Iwanttobeabletospeakfreely,”Carolinesaid.“Theguysneedtoknowtheentireplan.Thegirls

don’tneedtoworryaboutMurdock.They’vehadenoughthrownatthemasitis.”

“Murdock?”Jonesloweredhisvoice.“Isthatfuckerhere?”

“He’ssomewhere,”Carolinesaid.“Chrissy’sgoingtotrickhimintocomingforavisit.”

ChristinetookaseatonthecouchnexttoCaroline.“WhatexactlyamIsupposedtodo?”

“Don’tyouhavemeetingsorsomething?”

“He’sneverbeentoanyofthem.”

Ofcourse.He’dwanttohide.Notcallattentiontohimself.EverytimehemetwithChristineandthe

otherswasanotheropportunityforthemtocatchhiminalie.“Enticehimintoattending,”Carolinesaid.

“Doesheknowyoutalkedtothepress?”

“HeandIdon’tchat,Punky.Atall.”

Christinestilllookedalittleill.Carolinepattedherarm.“Iknow.Goaheadandmisleadhimalittle.

Saythatyou’rethinkingaboutgoingpublic.Thatyouwanteveryoneonboard.Playonhisvanity.You

knowhe’djumpatthechancetogainsomeundeservedglory.”

Jackclenchedhisfist.“Idon’twantyoualonewithhim.Isthatunderstood?”

“I’mnotsureyoushouldbealonewithhim,either,”Carolinesaid.

“Givemefiveminutesandwewon’thavetoworryabouttransporttoTheHague.”

“I’mallrightwiththat,”Jonessaid.

Carolineliftedherhands.“Wearegoingtodothisprofessionally.Wewillletjusticerunitscourse.

Ifheresistsarrest,theMountieswillactaccordingly.”

Crunchlaughed.“Theunexpectedvoiceofreason.”

Sheheldupherhands.“Stop.YouknowI’dexactmyownformofrevengeifgiventhechance.But

wecan’tgiveintothoseimpulses.Wehavetoriseabovethefray,nomatterhowharditis.”

Christineretrievedherphonefromherpurse.“Fine.I’llgivehimacall.I’llfindsomewaytogethim

here.Then…we’lltakethefirststepinrightingthewrongs.”

“Heboughtit,”shesaid.“Tomorrowmorning,teno’clock.Meetingwithallthemajorplayers.Itold

himmediawouldbepresent.”

Thatcouldn’thavebeenaneasyphonecall.Carolinehadofferedtobeintheroomwithher,but

Christineinsistedshehadtomakeitherself.“Shouldweinviteanyoneelsetosellthescam?”

“Depends,”Christinesaid.“Doyouwantanaudience?”

Jackshookhishead.“Wecanalwaysmeetwithsomeoftheotherslater.Let’skeepitaslowkeyas

possible.”

Christineclaspedherhandstogether.“Withthattakencareof,Isuggestweenjoytherestofourday.I

believeCarolinehasanappointmentatSophie’smakeshiftsalon.”

Distractionswerewelcome.CarolinehaddoneherbesttofollowNatalie’sadviceduringhertime

awayfromCalifornia.Tothinkaboutthevariousissuesswirlingaroundinhermindwoulddoomherto

despair.Soshechosetofocusonthepositive.Thosetinybitsoflightwereenoughtobreakthrough

whateverdarknesswouldcome.

MargueritebeggedtohelpbutSophiewasadamant,rightlyobservingthatshegotherturnwith

cookiebaking.Carolinewouldhavetomakesuretopayequalattentiontobothofthem.Sophiehelped

mixthedyeandapplyittoherhair,andtheybothprayeditwouldtake.Crunchwarnedtherewasa

chanceshe’dendupwithanunsightlyshadeoforangeinsteadofauburn.Afinalrinse,ahastycleanup,

andonlyonetowelascasualty.Carolineavoidedcheckingonherstatustheentiretime,knowingnothing

mattereduntilthedyeset.

“DoIlooklikeacarrot?”sheasked.

Sophiegotafreshtowel.“It’sperfect.Wow.”

Sheglancedinthemirror.Notquitethesamebutdamnclose.Joneshadchosenwell.Shelooked

almost…normal.

Herdaughterleanedinforahug.“It’sokay,mom.”

Carolinewipedhereyes.“Prettysillytogetemotionaloverhair.”

“Howlongdidyoukeepitblond?”

“Maybeeighteenmonths?I’mnotgoodwithtimeanymore.”

“Youcanbarelytell.It’sincredible.Iswear.”

Carolinedriedherhairwiththetowel.“Ididn’texpectit.Feelsweird.”

“Nah.”Sophiegrabbedabrush.“Feelsawesome.Letmefixthisupandwe’llgiveeveryoneinthe

livingroomabigsurprise.”

“Areyoudoneyet?”Margueritecalled.“We’realmostoutofcookies.”

They’dfoundawaytoentertainthemselveswhileCarolineandSophiewereoccupied.“Didn’tknow

thiswasgoingtobeabeautypageant,”Carolinesaid.

Sophiethrewthetoweloverherhead.“Comeon.Havefunwithit.”

“Fine.I’llindulgeyou.”Carolinedecidedtomakeitashadedramatic,sweepingherwaythroughthe

bathroomdoor.

“Well?”Jackasked.

Sophiecrossedherarms.“Doyoulikeclownhair?I’mjustasking.”

“It’snotexactlythesame,”Carolinesaid.

“Isitorange?”JackshotCrunchalook.“Whatdowedoifit’sorange?”

Crunchhelduphishands.“HellifIknow.Iwastalkingoutofmyass.”

“Fooledyou.”SophieyankedthetoweloffCaroline’shead.“Checkitout.”

“Excuseusaminute,”Jacksaid,grabbingCarolineandpushingherintothebathroom.Heshutthe

doorbehindthem.Hislipswereonhersinstantly,kissingherhardenoughthatshelosthertrainof

thought.

“Whatwasthatfor?”shewhispered.

“Youjust–that’sincredible,sweetheart.Youlookincredible.”

“You’rereallyobsessedwithmyhair,aren’tyou?It’sunhealthy.”

Jackleanedintokissheragain.“No,it’snot.”Heranhisfingersthroughherhair.“Thisisfucking

amazing.”

Carolinegiggledashebitherneckandpepperedherwithkisses,untilsheheardaknockatthedoor.

“Youtwobetternotbehavingsexinmybathroom,”Christinesaidloudly.

Herhusbandwastryingtorunhishanduphershirt.Itwasforeverdistracting.“We’refine,Chrissy.

It’lljustbeaminute.”

Jackkissedher,smilingagainstherlips.“Wecoulddoit.Justtopissheroff.”

“Showalittlerespect.Andself-control.”

“Fiveminutes.I’llmakeitcount.”

“PerhapsIshouldcutoffalockofhairforyoutocuddleatnight?”

Heopenedadrawerinthevanity.“Aretherescissorsinhere?”

“Notfunny.”Shekissedhimlightly.“Doyoureallylikeit?”

Hetwirledadampcurlaroundhisfinger.“Obviously.”Jackloweredhisvoice.“Wemayhaveto

reenactthatdreamyouhadonthewaytoTheHague.Iwanttodosordid,sleazythingstoyourightnow.”

“Youhavetowaituntilwegetbacktothebase,Ithink.”

Hesqueezedherass.“Givesmetimetoplan.”

Didn’tthatsounddelicious.“We’dbettergetoutofherebeforeChrissybreaksthedoordown.”

“Fine.”Hepulledherintothelivingroom.“Yourbathroomremainsundefiled,Christine.Muchtomy

dismay,Imightadd.”

Christineappearedlessthanpleasedathisdisclosure.“Well?”

CarolinelaughedagainasJacknuzzledherhair.“He,um,reallylikesthecolor.”

Anunmistakableeyeroll.Butahintofamusement.“Icantell.”

JackwrappedbothhandsaroundCaroline’swaist,turningtoChristine.“Areweallowedtouseyour

bedroom?”

Christineglowered.“Youarenot.”

CarolinefrownedatJack.“Really,darling.Ourchildrenarepresent.”

“IfIsayIforgot,doesthatsoundevenremotelyplausible?”

“No,”Christinesaidtartly.

“Whataboutthekitchen?”Hiseyesdartedbackandforth.“Huh,nodoor.Doesanyonecare?Wecan

gounderthetable.”

Christinepointedafingerathim,perchingprecariouslybetweenfrustratedangerandtheatrical

delight.“McIntyre,youaretestingmypatience.Severely.”

MargueriteandSophiewerebothtryingfranticallynottomakeeyecontactwithanyofthem.Crunch,

Gig,andJonespretendedtobeengagedinarousinggameofpoker.Carolinehungthetowelaroundher

neck.“Seewhatyoudid,Jack?Youstunnedtheentireroomintoawkwardsilence.”

Margueritestartedlaughing.“Likewehaven’tseenthetwoofyoumakingoutbefore.”

“Isureashelldon’twanttoseeit,”Christinesnapped.

Carolineextricatedherselffromherhusband’sembracetogiveherbestfriendahug.“He’sjust

havingalittlefunatyourexpense.”

“Don’tthinkIdidn’tnotice.”ShegaveCarolineacriticallook.“Itdoeslookprettygood.”

“Oh,fantastic,”Carolinesaid,smilingather.“Iwasseekingyourapproval.”

Christinecuffedheronthearm.“Benicetome.Youcanbeassnarkyasyouwanttomorrow

morning.”

Shehadeveryintentiontofollowthroughonthat,ifgiventheopportunity.“Untilthen,let’skeep

everythingasuncomplicatedaspossible.”

ChapterFifteen

Murdock.Conferenceroom.Inunderanhour.Carolinehadn’teaten,tooagitatedtofocus.She’dbeen

raidingChristine’sclosettofindsomethingsuitablyappropriatefortheoccasion.ShefiguredChrissy

wouldbeabletooutfitherinsomethingstridentlybitchyandwellcut.

“Ican’tbelievethissuitfitsme,”shesaid.

Christinehadselectedamutedgreenpantsuitforherself.Veryspringlike.“Idon’tunderstandwhy

youcouldn’twearoneofyourown.”

“Ionlyhaveacouple.Igetbored.”Carolinespunaround.“Thisissomuchnicerthananyofmine.

Andtheskirthitsmykneeatjusttherightspot.”

“Youdon’tgettokeepit.”

“Whynot?”

“Becauseyou’regoingtogettoaproperweightsoitdoesn’tfitanymore.”

Christinewasdoingherdamndesttodistractthembothfromwhatwasabouttotakeplace.“Youthink

I’mtooskinny?”Carolineasked.

“Yes,”shesaid,tuckinginherblouse.“Youneedtogainatleastfifteenpounds.Howmuchdoyou

weigh?”

Carolinehadneverbeenclosepersonalfriendswiththescale.“Idon’tknow.”

“Ofcourseyouknow.Don’tbullshitme.”

Shecouldthrowanumberoutthere.Maybethatwouldpassmuster.“Onefifteen?”

Christineshookherhead.

Well,shit.“It’swithintheproperrangeformyheight.”

“No,it’snot.It’snotevenatthelowend.Especiallywithyourbonestructure.”

Goddammit.Whatatimeforhertoplaydoctor.“AreyousayingI’mbigboned?”Carolineasked.

“Sortof.Atleastamediumframe.”

“Isn’tthatskinnypersoncodeforfat?”

“No,”Christinesaidcalmly.“It’scodeforyouneedtogainweight.”

KudostoChristineforholdinghertemper,butCarolinewasgoingtopushitalittleanyway.“Isthat

yourprofessionalopinion?”

Thatdrewafamiliarexasperatedsigh.“Caroline,youknowyou’reunderweight.”

“Idon’treallyneedyoucallingattentiontoit.Andthesuitfitsyoujustfine.”

“I’mthreeinchesshorterthanyouandcouldprobablystandtogainafewpoundsmyself.Howmuch

didyouweighbefore?”

Shesmoothedoutherskirt.“I’mnottellingyouthat.”

“Youdon’teatverymuch.”

“Areyouanutritionist,too?”

“Youdon’tgettokeepthesuit.”

“Youdon’tgettochangethesubject.”Carolineslippedthejacketoffandslungitoverherelbow.No

senseinfinishingofftheoutfituntiltheywerereadytoheaddownstairs.“I’mkeepingthis.I’llsneakit

intomyluggagewhenyou’renotlooking.”

“TryitandI’mstealingallyourshoes.Includingthosewretchedblackbootsyouwearwithyour

jeans.”

“Mycombatboots?Thosearemybabies.”

“They’reunattractive,Caroline.”

ItwasfuntryingtoaggravateChristine.Itwaseasy,andsheappearedtobetakingitinstride.“Imay

wearthemthismorning.Foreffect.”

“I’mwalkingawaynow.You’remakingmybloodpressurerise.”

“Yousaiditwastoolowanyway.Maybethatwillhelp.Wedon’twantyoupassingoutinfrontof

Jeffrey.”

“Thereisverylittlechanceofthathappening,”Christinesaid.“I’dliketokeepitmanageableuntil

wegetdownthere.Mytemperisboundtoflare.”

Aswashers.“WemayneedtohaveMountiesassignedtopreventusallfromengaginginviolence.”

Christinespritzedsomeperfume,dabbingherwrists.“I’mgoingoutintothelivingroom.Pleasedo

notjoinmeuntilyou’rereadytobealady.”

Atotallyemptythreat.“Pfft.You’llbeback.”

SheturnedtofaceCarolineasshebackedoutoftheroom.“Probably.”

“You’dbetterhaveaplateofcookies,”Carolinecalled.

Christineshoutedatherfromthekitchen.“Andyou’dbettereatthemall.”

Thegirlsweretostayupstairs.ChristinehadarrangedtomeetMurdockinoneoftheconference

roomsonthefirstfloor.BourgeoisandMoutonwouldbethere,alongwithJones,Crunch,Gig,and

severalothermembersoflawenforcement.Ithadtakensomesmoothtalking,somelegalese,andabitof

verbaljudofromJacktogettheMountiestoagreetoletthemallstayintheroom.Yes,therewererisks.

Yes,itwasagainstprotocol.ButCarolinewouldbedamnedifshewouldwastetheopportunityto

confronthertorturer.Shemightnevergetanotherchance.

“Here’stheplan,”Moutonsaid.“SenatorSullivancomeswithustothefronthalltowaitforMr.

Murdock.Thetwoofyoustaywiththeotherofficers.He’llbetakenintocustodyassoonasheentersthe

room.”Shepaused.“We’redoingyouacourtesyhere.Weshouldjustarresthimwhenhewalksinthe

door.”

Christinemusthavehadcachetwiththem,aswellasthePrimeMinister.Theycertainlydidn’towe

CarolineandJackanything.“Thankyou,”Carolinesaidsoftly.

MoutonturnedtoJack.“Sir,willyoubeabletocontrolyourself?”

Hescowled.“Iknowyou’rekidding,butshouldn’tyoubeaskingmywifethesamething?”

“You’rethemostlikelytododamage,”Bourgeoispointedout.

Joneslaughed.“Man,youneversawCommanderGerardfight.She’srelentless.”

“It’llbefine,”Christinesaid.“Carolineknowshowtorestrainherself.”

Sure.Totally.Completely.Anytime.Shewasn’tabouttomakeanypromises.“OfcourseIcan.We

canallholdourtempers.Right?”

Jacksqueezedherhand.“Ofcourse.”

Moutoncheckedherwatch.“Theo,let’sheadupfrontwiththesenator.Behavewhilewe’regone.”

Gigshookhisheadwhentheyleft.“Idon’tknowaboutthis.”

“Aboutthemorus?”Carolineasked.

Hecheckedhisgun.TheirbodyguardsandtheMountieswerecarryingrifles.Theydidn’tthink

CarolineandJackshouldbearmed.Forshame.

“You,”hesaid.“I’mallforvictims’rightsbutareyousureyouwanttodothis?”

Herheartwasbeatingtoofastandshecouldfeeltheanxietycomingonbuthellifshewasgoingto

walkawaynow.“Igottasaymypiece.”

“Ihaveafewchoicewordsforhimaswell,”Jacksaid.

“Yes,sir.”Gigstraightened.“That’swhatI’mafraidof.Idon’twanttohavetointervene.”

“Youwon’t,”Jacksaidsmoothly.“It’llallgodownfast.Stayonyourgameandwe’llbefine.”

Crunchpeeredthroughtheopendoor.“They’recoming.Takeyourpositions.”

Jones,Crunch,andGigsituatedthemselvesbehindCarolineandJack.TwoMountieswaitedon

eithersideofthedoor.Anotherthreewerepositionedafewfeetaway,theirgunsalreadydrawn.

“I’veneverbeensearchedbefore.What’sgoingon?”

Murdock.Thatvoice.Sicklysadisticwithanairofentitlement.Thebilerose.Carolineballedher

fists.Paybackwasgoingtobeabitch.

She’dbarelyslept.Hernewnormal.Carolinewouldhaveabriefrespite,anescapeintothepast,

somethingtoremindherofwhatsheusedtohave,thenwakeupinasweatyterror.Exceptnowshewas

inevenmorepain.Itwasdarkbutshecouldseehermisshapenlefthand.Feeltheswollen,tender

flesh.Woulditeverbethesame?Diditmatter?WouldMurdockmakegoodonhispromisefromthe

daybefore?Whyhadn’tsomeonesteppedin?Stoppedhim?

Therulesnolongerapplied.Theyneverdidifnoonewastheretoenforcethem.

Disturbinghoweasyitwastodisregardnorms.ToabandontheRuleofLaw.Almost250yearsofa

weatheredpieceofparchmentprovidingablueprinttofollowandasinglemanandhisminionscould

destroyitindays.Democracy,anobleconcept,wasonlyasstrongasthepeoplewhobelievedinit.

Themostidealisticsystemsfunctionedatthemercyofthecitizenry,dependentontheinherent

goodnessofhumanityinordertothrive.

Murdockhadnogoodnessandcertainlynohumanity.Neitherdidherguards.Theagentswhohad

interrogatedhermayhavestoodupfortruthandjusticeoncebutnowthelineswereblurred.

Whenthelightsflickeredonsheknewthedrill.Shesatup,cradlingherlefthandatherside.Like

apuffy,repulsivepenguinfin.Completelyuseless.Whatwouldshedoiftheytookawaybothhands?

Useherfeet?Herteeth?Herelbows?Herwitswerefading;shesureashellcouldn’tusethose.She

hadnoaceuphersleeve.Andshe’dalwayssuckedatcardsanyway.

Fischerstormedinsidethecell.“Upwego,”hesaid.Powellwasrightbehindhim.Ofcourse.

Couldn’tfunctionwithouthisnewrighthandman.

Maybeherwitsweren’tcompletelygone.“WhatifIdon’twanna?”shesaid.

Powelllaughed.“Toldyoushe’dmouthoff.Youowemeafiver.”

Fischeryankedherupbyherbadhand.Bastard.Sheyelped,unabletosuppressthepainradiating

throughherarm.“Idon’toweyoushit,”hesaid.“Look,Imadehercryalready.”

Carolinetookadeepbreath.“Doesthatmakeyoufeellikeabigman?”sheasked,gratefulher

voicedidn’tshake.“Howaboutwesmashyourhandwithahammerandseehowyoureact?Ibetyou’d

crylikeagoddamnbaby.”

Powellsnorted.“She’sgotyouthere.”

Fischerintentionallyrammedherintothedoorastheyenteredthehall.She’ddefinitelyhita

nerve.“Fuckyouboth.”

StupidPowell.Hewasnohelp.Likehewasherfuckingfriend.HewasgoadingFischer,ragging

onhimsohe’dbeworseonher.Asshole.Thetwoguardswereinpracticallychirpymoods.They

couldn’twaitfortheirbosstotakehissicklittlefantasiesoutonher.

Murdockwasalreadyintheinterrogationroomwhentheygotthere,hammerinhand.Fuck.He’d

beenserious.Hegaveherhissignatureunsettling,creepysmile.“Sleepwell?”

Heknewdamnwellshehadn’t.“Let’sgetthisoverwith.”

“That’smyline,”hesaid,twirlinghisfingerasPowellandFischershovedherintothechair

acrossfromhis.“Hasyourmemorybecomeclearerthismorning?”

Fischerhadalreadypinnedherarmtothetable.“Idon’tknowwhatyou’retalkingabout,”she

managed,rightbeforeMurdockbroughtthehammerdownonherrighthand.Once.Twice.Three

times.Thepainwasalmostworseeventhoughshe’dbeenabletoanticipateit.Wasthathowit

worked?Evenifyousufferedthroughsomething,yourbodywouldreactlikeitwasfreshandnew?

Howtremendouslyfuckingunfair.

Shetriednottocry.Toldherselfnottocry.Buthell,ifasimplejostlefromFischerhadprovoked

involuntarytears,shecouldn’tkeepthemawaywhensomeonecausedhergenuine,severepain.

Don’tputyourheaddown.Don’tsob.Keepittogether.

Carolinebitherlip,tastingblood.Murdockwaswipingthehammeroff.Hehadn’tbrokenthe

skin.Themovewasmeantpurelytotaunt.Toremindherhestillhadhispreferredtooloftortureathis

disposal.FischerandPowelllaughed.

Shestaredatherhand.Amisshapenblobofflesh.Twodays,fivestrikesofthehammer,two

uselessappendages.Noonewouldstophertorture.Noonewouldsaveher.Shewoulddieinthis

place,drivenslowlytoinsanityinisolation,compelledtoendlesslyponderwhathertormentorswould

donext.Hersoulbrokeapartalittlemore.

Andshewept.

“Controlyourself,”Jacksaidquietly.

Likehewasonetotalk.Hisfistswereclenchedastightlyashers.Andhedidn’thavedamn

memoriesdogginghimeverywherehewent.

Thatmotherfuckerhaddaredlayahandonherchildren.Pretendedtoalleviatetheirpain.Laiditon

asthickashecould,singingarefrainofcounterfeitpenitencethatcouldonlycomefromtheblackestof

souls.Carolinebittheinsideofhercheek.Shecoulddothis.Shecouldtampdowntherage.

Compartmentalizelikeshe’ddoneformonths.Onlynowshehadplentytokeephergoing.Herhusband.

Herdaughters.Herbestfriend.Herfellowrevolutionaries.Shecouldpushasidedistractions,focuson

thehereandnow.Onthissolitarybattle.

ShewasCommanderCarolineGerard,leaderofthenewAmericanRevolution.Shehadtheheartof

agoddamnlion.She’dcrawledthroughthedesert,battlingwindandsandandblisteringheattocomeout

ahead.Herscarswerehertrophies.Hercrownofroses.Herproofofvictory.Herhairwasasfieryas

hersoul.Fuckhim.She’dstayabovethefrayifitkilledher.

“It’sstandardprotocol.”CarolinecouldhearChristine’svoicejustoutsidethedoor.“Especially

whenallofusaremeeting.Security,youknow.”

Cool,calm,andcompletelyfuckingcollected.Icewaterinherveins.SenatorSullivandeservedan

Oscarforherperformance.AnditsoundedlikeMurdockwasbuyingit.

“Thatseemsalittleunnecessary,”hesaid.“Especially-”Murdocksteppedintotheroom,eyeinghis

surroundings.“WhereareRogerandBrian?”

Christinesmiled.“Sorry,Jeffrey.It’sjustus.Andafewmembersoflawenforcement.”

HisgazerestedonCarolineandJack.“Impossible,”hesaid.

Carolinestraightenedhershoulders.Sheownedthismoment.“Someonelookslikehe’sseena

ghost.”

“I-”

MoutonplacedherhandonMurdock’sshoulder.“Sir,Ihaveawarrantforyourarrest.You’reto

comewithus.”

TheotherMountiesraisedtheirguns.Murdocklookedlikehewasmullinghisoptions,hiseyes

dartingbackandforthfromCarolineandJack,tothedoor,tothemultiplemenpointingfirearmsinhis

direction.“How-?”

HisconfusionwasamusingenoughthatCarolinelaughed.Maybethatmeantshewasalittlemore

unstablethanshethought.Shewriggledherfingersathimbeforepressingthemtoherstomach.Yeah,he

wouldn’tmissthatmessage.Ihealed.Isurvived.I’mstrongerthanyou.“Shouldhavecheckedfora

pulsebeforeyoulefttheroom,asshole.”

Helungedtowardher.“Yougoddamnbitch.”

JackshovedinfrontofCaroline,grabbingMouton’sgunandslammingMurdockagainstthewall.

“Standback,”hesaidtotheMounties.“Ihavethis.”

Oh,shit.Thiswasnotgood.ShewantedtotauntMurdockbutdidn’tintendforherhusbandtojump

intothemorasswithher.“Jack,don’t,”Carolinewhispered.

Maybehehadn’theardher.Maybehedidn’tcare.HebroughttheguntoMurdock’stemple,hisother

handaroundhisthroat.“Doyougetyourkicksfromhurtingwomen?Torturingthemandleavingthemto

die?Doyou?”

“Youcan’tproveanything,”Murdockchoked.

CarolinehadconsideredthatJackwouldlosehistemper,butfigureditwouldonlyhappenifshelet

hersspiraloutofcontrol.Rathersillyofher.Howhadtheybothreactedwhenconfrontedwithreality?

Bothsheandherhusbandhadahistoryofphysicalassault,andwereintensifyingtheirbehaviorin

hazardousways.

Shehadtode-escalate.Bringitdown.Injectsomelevity.IfshespokemaybeitwouldbringJack

backtoreality,remindhimwhytheywerethere.Otherwisehewasliabletoengageinconducthecouldn’t

takeback.“TheICCseemedtofindmyfirsthandaccountofyourbehaviorfairlyabsorbing,”Caroline

said.“Incaseyou’rewondering,TheHagueislovelythistimeofyear.”

JackflexedhisfingersagainstMurdock’sthroat,drawingaweakgurgle.

“Sir.”Bourgeoissteppedforward.“Lethimgo.Letusdoourjobs.”

“Fuckthat,”Jacksaid,pressingtheguntoMurdock’stempleagain.

Anynumberofthingscouldgowrong.Theweaponcoulddischarge.Murdockcouldwrestleitaway.

Everyoneintheroomwasinperil.ChristineputherhandonJack’sshoulder.Heflinchedbutdidn’t

slackenhisgriponthegunorMurdock.

“Jack,”shesaidquietly.“Putthegundown.”

Themessagewassubtle,butclear.Chrissywouldcarrythewaterforher.Forbothofthem.Sheknew

Carolinewasfar,fartooclosetothesituation.ChristineandJackweregettingalongbetter;thenegative

undercurrentthatoncedrovetheirrelationshipnowhadahintofdeference.Exactlywhatwasneeded.

Shesqueezedhisshoulder.“Givemethegun.”

“Youknowwhathedidtoher,”hesaid.“Hedeservestodie.”

“He’snotworthit.”

Jacknarrowedhiseyes.“Thefuckheisn’t.”

Christine’sfingerswerepracticallyembeddedinhisshirt.“Don’tdothistoCaroline.Sheneedsyou.

Yourchildrenneedyou.Letthejusticesystemdoitsjob.”

HeclutchedMurdock’sthroattighter.Wouldhelistentoher?Theothermanwasstartingtosweat.

Jackdidn’tlooktoocomfortableeither.He’dpressthegunagainstMurdock’stemple,pullitback,press

itagain.Itseemedtohappeninslowmotion,theentireroomswirlinginquartertime.Christinewas

talkingbutCarolinecouldn’tmakeoutthewords.

Doit,Jack,shethought.Fuckingdoit.

Heturnedtoher,hisforearmpressedagainstMurdock’swindpipe.“Hehurtyou.”

Herhusbandhaddefendedherhonorcountlesstimes.Buchanan,Powell,nowMurdock.Shedidn’t

deservehisveneration,especiallywhenherhalowassoverytarnished.Hecouldn’tindulgetheir

deepest,darkest,mostdamagingdesires,eveniftheywerethinkingtheexactsamething.Theyhadtobe

betterthanthelowestcommondenominator.Banalitybecameneitherofthem.Carolineshookherhead

backandforth.

Ittookaminute.Hegaveheralook,sheshookherheadagain,andJackliftedhisgunhand.“Ifyou

evercomenearmyfamilyagain,Iwillkillyou,”hesnarled.“Understand?”

Christinepeeledthegunawayfromhimashesteppedback,handingittoCaroline.“Ireallydon’t

wanttoholdthis.PerhapsyoushouldgiveittotheMounties.”

Chrissytrustedher.Carolineneededtorespectthat.Andstill…thatfeelingcameback.Theanger,the

frustration,thefesteringvengefulitchshecouldneverquitescratch.Compartmentalizationcouldn’tdo

awaywithitcompletely.

Murdockgrabbedherbythethroat.“Yoursufferingisn’toveryet,Gerard.I’vegotplansforyou.”

“You’reabastard,”shechokedout.

“Yes,butI’mfreeandinfantastichealth,unlikeyou.”Murdockreleasedher,pickingthebloody

itemsupoffthetable,tossingthembackintothebox.“Oh,don’tworry.You’llbewithyourchildren

soonenough.Ithinkwe’vehadenoughfunfortoday,though.Don’tyou?”

Fun.ShecouldteachJeffreyMurdockherversionoffun.CarolineshovedpastChristineandJack

andbroughtthegundownhardonMurdock’snose.“Nowyouknowhowitfeels.”

Moutonranupbehindher.“Andthat’senoughofthat,”shesaid,takingtheweapon.

Notquite.Murdocksanktothefloor.“Goddamnbitch.”

Whatwasithe’dtoldherchildren?Shehad…tenacity?Carolinestaredathimbeforeglancingather

beautifulpointytoedheels.Theywereworththesacrifice.Shekickedhimashardasshecouldinthe

face.“That’sformydaughters,”shesaid.“AndChrissy.Andfuck,forJacktoo.Allofus.”Shebrought

herfootbackagain.Onemorecouldn’thurt.

Christineyankedherbackward.“Caroline,please,”shesaid,staringatthebloodspatteredacrossthe

patentleather.“Thinkoftheshoes.”

Chrissyhadalwaysbeenafanofflawlessfootwear.Andithadbeenfunwhileitlasted.“Irestrained

myself,”Carolinesaid.“It’snotlikeIshothim.Icouldhavegivenhimastilettototheskull.”

“Shouldhave,”Jonescalledout.

Oh,yeah.Theyhadanaudience.Witnesses.ThankGodtheyhadn’tdonemore.

BourgeoisliftedMurdocktohisfeetandcuffedhimbehindhisback.“Aplaneiswaitingtotakeyou

totheNetherlands,”hesaid.

“Ineedmedicalattention,”Murdocksaid,blooddrippingdownhisface.

Bourgeoiscockedhishead.“Iseenoinjury.Doyou?”

“Notaone,”Moutonsaid.

Jacktookadeepbreath.“Iapologize.”HenoddedateachoftheMountiesinturn.“Ishouldnothave

letthatoccur.”

Murdockglaredathim.“Iknewyoucouldn’tdoit.”

ChristineshovedCarolineoutofthewayandslammedherkneeintoMurdock’sgroin,smilingashe

doubledoverinpain.“Gofuckyourself,Jeffrey.You’reluckyI’mnotarmed.Idon’thavequitethemoral

sensibilityofGovernorMcIntyreorRepresentativeGerard.”

MoutonmotionedtotheotherMounties,pointingthemoutthedoor.“Areyoufinished,Senator?”She

turnedtoCaroline.“Needanotherturn?”

“No,”shesaid.“I’mgood.”

Bourgeoissmiled.“Youcan’tfaultthesepeopleforwantingtogetoneortwojabsin.”

“Ididn’tseeanythingunseemly.Ijustaskediftheywerefinished.”MoutonliftedMurdocktohisfeet

byonearm,asBourgeoistooktheother.“You’vegotaflighttocatch.”Sheturnedtothethreeofthem.

“It’sbeenajoy.”

Christinesomehowmanagedtorecoverhergravitasfirst.“Thankyou.Allofyou.”

AssoonastheMountiesdispersed,Carolinedissolvedintorelievedgiggles.“Youkickedthat

assholeinthecrotch.Thatwasawesome.”

“Iwouldhavepreferredshepunchtheguy,”Jonessaid.“Breakafewmorebonesinhisgoddamn

face.”

“Naw.”Crunchunloadedhisweapon.“She’dmessupherhandthatway.She’sgotasmuchbottled

upinsideherasPrincess.”

“Jack?”Christineturnedaround.“Caretogiveusyourthoughtsonthematter?”

“No,”hesaid.“Idonot.”

“Didyoutwocoordinatethat?”Gigasked,pointingatCarolineandChristine.“That’sGerard’s

signaturemove,youknow.”

“Allwomenshouldknowhowtokickmeninthebits.Knee,meetmanparts.”Carolineglaredat

Jack.“Speakingofunrestrainedviolence,youpromisedtoholdyourtemper.”

Hegaveheralookremarkablyfreeofshame.“Ilied.You’retheonewhosmashedhisface.”

“I’ddoitagainifgiventhechance.”

Christinestraightenedherjacket.“Ourconductwashighlyunprofessional.I’llhavetoapologizeto

theMountiesthenexttimeIseethem.”

Theyprobablyneededtosendthemflowersorchocolatesorsomething.GigpattedCarolineonthe

shoulder.“MightIsuggestyougobackupstairs?”

Nosenseinmakingthemselvestargets.Trustoneoftheirbodyguardstoremindthemthatexposure

anddangerwereonlyamillisecondaway.

“MurdockwillundoubtedlygetwordtoWashingtonthatyou’realive,”Jacksaid.

Carolinehadalreadymentallypreparedherselfforthefallout.“Weknewthisdaywouldcome.Butat

leasthe’sincustody.”

“HopefullySantoswilljoinhimsoon,”Christineadded.

“IfIhaveanythingtosayaboutit,he’sgoingtogetalotmorethanthat.”Jackproddedthemtoward

thedoor.“I’vehadenoughstressfortheday.Ineedadamndrink.”

ChapterSixteen

“WishI’dbeenthere.I’mjealousofAuntChrissy.”

CarolinesmoothedoutthecomforteronMarguerite’sbed.“No,youaren’t.Noneofusbehaved

appropriately.”

“Doesn’tmeanitwasn’tjustified.”

True.“I’dprefertheexampleswesetforyoudon’tinvolveassaultandcontemplatedhomicide.”

Margueritetookaseatnexttoher.“Idon’tseetheissue.”

“Ido.I’dratheryounotrepeatmymistakes.”

“Theyweren’tmistakes.I’lldowhatIhavetodo.”

Carolineknewwhatwascoming.Hereldestdaughterhadn’tsaidmuchbutshe’dletafewcomments

sliphereandthere.Aboutmilitaryservice.Doingwhatwasright.Protectingbaseball,applepie,andthe

AmericanWay.MakingsureAuntChrissywasnudgingthePrimeMinisterintherightdirection.

“IwanttogotoCaliforniawithyouandJack,”Margueritesaid.

Yup.Rightoncue.“Absolutelynot.You’retooyoung.”

“I’malmosteighteen.Icangonoworfindyoulater.”

Oh,therecalcitranceofyouth.“No.”

“Iwanttofight.”

Notonlyrecalcitrance,butuncheckedbrio.“Youdon’tknowwhatkindoffightitis,Mo.None.”

“It’sanecessaryfight.IwanttohelpstopSantos.”

PerhapsCarolinehaderredinnottellingherdaughtermoreaboutTheFed.Itwassureashell

comingbacktobitehernow.“Youcan’t.Notatyourage,withouttraining.”

“Everyonecanhelp.Thesmallestcontributioncanmakeadifference.Youtaughtmethat.Remember

thestoryabouttheboythrowingthestarfishintothesea?Hecouldn’tsavethemallbuthesavedasmany

ashecould.That’swhatIwanttodo.”

Herdaughterdidn’tunderstandwhatshewassaying.Whatshewasadvocating.Allthatblazing

determinationwouldfadewhenrealityhit,anditwouldn’tbepretty.

“We’renottalkinggoodworksorhumanitarianefforts,Mo.Thisislifeanddeath.Realpeople

sufferingrealconsequences.”

Margueritemotionedtowardhermother’sface.“YouthinkIdon’tknowthat?”

Ah,yes.Theobvious,physicaldamage,fareclipsedbytheemotional.Herdaughterhadnoconcept

ofwhatthosedualtormentsreallymeant.

Carolinehadraisedherchildrentoowell.She’dintendedtoinfusethemwithasenseofthegreater

good,theurgetoleavetheworldabetterplace.Theimportanceofprivilegeandpowerandwealthand

theobligationtodosomethingpositivewithitwhenothershadnone.IfMargueritefeltthisway,what

wouldSophiedo?Wouldsheinsistonfightingaswell?Wouldbothofherchildrentumbledownthe

rabbitholeintotheunknown,armedwithonlytheirideals?Shejumpedtoherfeet.

“Youwanttoseewhattheydotopeoplewhoresistthem?Doyou?”Shepulleduphershirttoreveal

thescaronherstomach.“Youseethis?”Margueriteturnedaway.Nope.Couldn’thavethat.Caroline

yankedherarm.“No.You’regoingtogetaheavydoseoftruth.You’vealreadyseenthese,”shesaid,

pullinguphersleeves.Shespunaroundandliftedthebackofhershirt.“Howaboutthese?”Shewas

yellingnow,maybelouderthansheeverhadbefore.“Theydon’tplaynice.Theytorture.Theykill.

They’lldomorethanthatiftheygetthechance.”

Margueritestoodup.“I’mwillingtotakethatchance,”shesaid,withalittletoomuchbravado.

“I’mnot!”Carolinescreamed.“Iftheycaptureyouthey’lldofarworsethanjustkillyou.Theybeat

theshitoutofmerepeatedly.Theykilledmyfriends.Theyscrambledmymind.DoyouseewhoIam

now?DoyourememberwhatIusedtobe?Isufferedforfourteendaysatthehandsofthemostevil,

sadisticpeopleimaginableanddamnit,Iamnotgoingtoletithappentoyou.”ShepokedMargueritein

thechest.“I’mnotgoingtoletyourunintothelion’sden,nomatterhowgutsyyouare.”Carolineturned

away,trembling.“I’mnot.”

Margueritedidn’tspeakforalongtime,andwhenshefinallydidhervoicewasquiet.“Thenwhydo

youhavetodoit?”

Angercoulddissipateintoremorsesoswiftly,andnothingspurredhertoshamemorethanwhenshe

causedsomeoneelsepain.Carolinespunaroundandsawthathereldestdaughterwascrying.“Ijustdo,

sweetheart.ThisissomethingJackandIhavetofinish.ButI’mnotgoingtodragyouintoit.”Sheletouta

smallsob.“Idon’tcareifitsoundsselfish,itwoulddestroymeifIlostyouforever.Ijustcan’tletyoudo

it.”

“You’regoingtoleavesoon,aren’tyou?”

Shehadn’tthoughtthatfarahead.Notwhenshewasfocusingonthepricelessmomentsshewas

livingnow.“Idon’tknow.”

“Youare.Yousaidyourselfyouhadtoseeitthroughtotheend.Thatmeansfighting.Leavingus.

Plottingyourrevolutionarymap.”

Iwanttotakeyouwithme.But…“Iwantyoutobesafe.”

“We’resaferwithyou.Ifitallgoestohell,shouldn’twebetogether?”

Damnherhyperintelligentfirstbornandhergoddamnlogic.“Idon’tknowwhattodo,”Carolinesaid.

“Ofcourseyoudo.”Margueritetookherhand.“Youjustdon’twanttoadmitit.”

“Regardless,you’renotjoiningthearmyortheCanadianmilitaryorwhatever.Icanputmyfoot

downaboutthat.”

“OnceMarchrollsaroundIcandowhatIwant.”

Herbirthdaywasmereweeksaway.Shewasright.Thatwastheexasperatingpart.“Iknow,”

Carolinesaid.“Ijustreally,reallydon’twantyouto.”

“Idon’twantyoutogoeither,”saidMargueritesoftly.“Whathappensifyoudon’tcomeback?If

Jackdoesn’tcomeback?”

She’ddisruptedtheirlives.Mo.Feef.Chrissy.Theymaynothavebeenhappy,theymaynothave

beenwhole,theymaynothavebeenemotionallyhealthy,buttheyhadbeensafe.Protected.Loved.And

Carolinehadblownitalltohell.Shewrappedherarmsaroundherkneesandrockedbackandforth.“We

shouldhavenevercomehere.”

Margueritescowledather.“Andletusbelieveyouwerestilldead?That’sterrible,mom.Really,

reallyawful.Didyoueverthinkaboutwhatit’sbeenlikeforus?Webarelymadeithere.TomandJess

died.AuntChrissyalmostfellapartfromitall.Andwewaited,andwaited,andwaited,andyounever

came.Weheldouthopeyouwerestillalive,butthelongerwewaitedthemoreweknewyouweregone.”

Anapologyseemedmeaninglessbutshetriedanyway.“I’msorry.”

“Doyouknowwhathappenedwhenwesawthosefiles?Sophiecriednonstopfordays.Chrissy

lockedherselfinherroomandwouldn’tcomeout.AndallIcoulddowasfeelangryatyouforgetting

yourselfkilledwhenyouandJackshouldhavejustbeenwithus.”

“IknowIbrokemypromise.IknowwhatIdidwasselfish.I’msosorry,sweetheart.”Caroline

coveredherfaceandbegantocry.

Margueritesatdownonthebedandembracedhermother.“Don’t,mom.Stop.”

“Pleasedon’thateme,Mo.Ididn’twanttoleaveyou.SendingyouawaywithAuntChrissyand

UncleTomwasthehardestthingI’veeverhadtodo.”

Margueritetightenedhergrip.“Iknow.”

Shedeservedherdaughter’sanger.She’dgottenoffeasysofar.“Ithoughtaboutyouandyoursister

theentiretimeIwasinthathorribleplace.Andeverydaysince.Pleasedon’tmakemegothroughthe

painoflosingyouagain.Icouldn’tbearit.”

“Iwanttobewithyou,”Margueritesaidquietly.“Ineedyou.Ineedmymother.”

Carolinestraightenedup.“Doyouknowhowwonderfulit’sbeenbeingwithyouandFeefandJack,

feelinglikeafamilyagain?”

Margueritegrabbedatissue,wipingawayhermother’stears.“Iknow.”

Shetookadeepbreath.“Ican’tstopyoufromdoinganythingonceyouturneighteen.I’mnotentirely

sureIcouldstopyouanyway.Wehavesomeprettylooserequirementswhenitcomestoourlittle

alliance.Ijustwantyoutorememberthatifyoujoinus,we’llbemoreworriedaboutyouthananything

else.”

“Aren’tyougoingtoworryanyway?”

Avalidpoint.“Probably.”

“Thenwhynotbetogether?”

Shedefinitelywasn’tgoingtowinthisargument.“IwantyoutobesafeandI’mnotsurethebestway

todoit.”

“Youdon’tthinkJackfeelsthesamewayaboutyou?”

“I’msurehedoes,buthe’slearnedI’mtoostubborntoreasonwith.”

“Perhapsit’sgenetic,”Margueritesaid.

“Perhaps.”Carolinewantedanotherhug.Maybetwo.Ortwenty.SheleanedintoMarguerite’sarms

andtheyheldeachotherforalongtime.“DoyouknowhowmuchIloveyou,mylittleMoMo?”

“Ihaveavagueidea.”Margueritegaveheranotherhardhug.“Mom,partofmedoesunderstandwhy

youhavetodothis.It’sthesamepartthatwantstofight.”

“Iknow.It’sjust…complicated,darling.Mostdifficultdecisionsare.”

“ImeantwhatIsaidinthatinterview.Ireallyamproudofyouandwhatyou’vedone.It’sanhonorto

beyourdaughter.”

“Didtheyeditthatlastlineout?Idon’trememberitbeinginthere.”

“Ikeptthatonetomyself.”

Carolinekissedhercheek.“Youshouldn’thave.”

“Well,nowyouknow.”

“HaveyoutalkedtoFeefaboutanyofthis?”

“Oh,that’scompletelyyourjob.”

Sheshouldhaveknown.“Fine.”Carolinestretchedbeforestandingup.“Guessthat’smynextstop,

huh?”

“Yeah.”Margueritetookherhand.“ButI’llgowith.”

CarolinewaswithMarguerite.Sophiedecidedonsomequiettime,retreatingtoherbedroomtoread

abook.ChristinefledtoherownroomafterdowningacoupleofshotsofWildTurkeywithJack.Jones,

Gig,andCrunchreturnedtotheirhotel.Jackwasinthelivingroomalone.Damnit.Heneededtotalkto

Christine.He’dneededtosincetheyfirstarrived.Andhehadnoexcuseforfurtherdelay.

“Hey,Christine.”Hetappedsoftlyonherbedroomdoor.“Youokay?”

Jackhadallbutdeterminedshe’ddecidedtosackoutforawhilewhenheheardhertellhimtocome

in.

Christinewassittingonthebed.She’dbeencrying.“YoumustthinkI’mapatsy,”shesaid.“Getting

workedupwhenI’mnotthevictim.”

Hewasn’taccustomedtocomfortingwomenotherthanhiswife,norwasheparticularlygoodatit.

Maybelogicwouldhelp.“Youwereanaggressor.Thathadtothrowyouoff.Haveyoueverdone

anythinglikethatbefore?”

“No.”Shetriedtosmoothoutherhairwithtremblinghands.“IneverexpectedI’dreacttoanyone

thatway.”

Thethreeofthemhadbehavedpoorly,butsuchconductwasoldhattoJackandCaroline.Christine

wasunaccustomedtotheroughandtumblerealityoftherevolution.“Timeandstresschangethings,”he

said.Jacktookbothofherhandsinhisandtheshakingstopped.“You’renotapatsy.Giantbitchmaybe,

butnopatsy.”

“Pointsforhonesty,McIntyre.”Sheliftedherrighthanduptowipehereyes,butJacknoticedshe

wasperfectlycontentkeepingherlefthandenclosedinhis.

“You’vedonereallywelltoday,”hesaid.“Thepastfewdays,actually.”

Shestayedsilent.

“Especiallyunderthecircumstances.”

Shestaredathim.

“Thankyou,”hesaid.

“Jack,”shewhispered.“It’ssohardlookingatthosescars–they’re…”Shecoveredhereyes.“She’s

sostrong.Idon’tknowhowshedoesit.”

“Beingaroundthethreeofyouhelps.”

“Howmuchdothegirlsknow?”

Carolinehadtalkedtoherbuthewasn’tsurehowmuchshe’drevealed.“Mosawthemwhilethey

werebakingcookies.I’mnotsureifSophieknowsyet,”hesaid.“It’shardthefirstfewtimesyousee

them.It’s…”Howcouldheevenputitintowords?

“She’sholdingsomethingback,”Christinesaid.

Didhereallywanttohavethisconversation?“Howmuchdoyouknow?”

“Shetoldmealittle.AndIreadsomeoftherecords,”sheadmitted.“Maggiereadthemall.”

Shit.Hewasn’tgoingtotouchthatone.Hiswifecoulddothatlater.“ButyoureadCaroline’s.”

“Ofcourse.Hers,Ellen’s,Bob’s,Jen’s,Kathleen’s…peopleIknew.PeopleIcaredabout.”

Hegrittedhisteeth.“NowyouknowhowtheSantosAdministrationdefines‘enhanced

interrogation.’”

“But-”

“Christine,look.You’vehadaroughfewdays.Maybeyoushouldtakeitdownanotch.There’s

plentyoftimeforyoutogetalltheanswersyouneed.”

“Iknow.Ijust-”

Sheneededreassurance.Badly.“Youshouldhaveseenherfacewhenwesawthatnewspaperarticle.

ItwasthehappiestI’dseenherinyears.Shecriedforhoursafteryouleftthatnight.Ithinkshebelieved

shewasnevergoingtoseeyouagain.Notbecauseyouwouldn’tmakeit,butbecauseshewouldn’t.She

didn’tevenconsidertherewasachanceyoumightnotgethere.”

“Wealmostdidn’t.”

“FromwhatIunderstand,shewasprovidedwithwhatshethoughtwasproofyoualldiedinthe

effort.”

“Shetoldme,”Christinesaidquietly.

Damn.SoifCarolinehadshareddetails,she’donlygiventhelowlights.“Therewasnorecordofyou

crossingtheborderunderassumednames.Wehadnothingtodisprovetheinformationshe’dbeengiven.”

“Iwasn’tsureifitwassafetousethetrust,nomatterwhatyou’dtoldme.TheCanadiangovernment

wasmorethanwillingtoslipussomecashonthesideandprotectouridentities,”Christinesaid.“I

didn’twanttocallattentiontouswhenwefirstarrived.Itneveroccurredtomethatutilizingthataccount

wouldbeaveryeasywaytoletyouknowwewereokay.”

“Youdon’towemeanyexplanations,”saidJack.

“MaybeIshouldhavedonemore.”

Whatdiditmeanwheneveryonefeltthatway?Wheneverybattleseemednever-ending,evenifyou

gaveiteverydropofbloodandsweatyouhad?Atsomepointapersonhadtoceasetakingonburdens.

“Stopsecondguessingyourself.”

Christinelaughedbitterly.“Easiersaidthandone.There’sareasonwhyyourwifeandIaresuch

goodfriends.Wehavealotofthesameannoyingcharacteristics.”

“Maybethat’swhyIactuallylikeyoualittle.”

Theysatsilentlyforafewminutes,Jack’sarmwrappedaroundChristine’sshoulders.“Shecame

apartwhileshewasatthatfederalholdingfacility,”hesaid.“I’mtryingtoputherbacktogether.”

“That’sverynobleofyou,Jack.”Christinesmiledforamomentbutitquicklyfaded.“Shespenttwo

weeksthere.Fourteendays.”

“It’salongtime.”

“Sheseems-”Christinestopped,tryingtofindtherightwords.“Differentsometimes.Upsettinglyso.

Herbodylanguage,hertoneofvoice,herdemeanor,allthethingsI’dneverreallythoughtaboutbefore,

thatI’djusttakenforgrantedaswhosheis.It’sstillher,it’sjust….moreaustere.”

Lovingsomeonetotheircoremeantyoucouldeasilyspotchanges.Ablessingandacurse,especially

aftertimeapart.“She’shardened,buteveryonceinawhileyouseetherealCarolinecomeout.She’s

beenalmostheroldselfwhilewe’vebeenwithyou.It’swonderful.”

Christineshuddered.“Ihatetothinkaboutwhatmadeherthewaysheisnow.”

That’swhyItrynottodoit.“Therealityisprettybad.Youneedtosteelyourselfifshedecidesto

openupmorethanshealreadyhas.”

“Shenevertoldthemanything,didshe?”

“No,”Jacksaidquietly.“Sheneverdid.”

Christineshookherhead.“Thatwoman.Idon’tevenhavethewords.”

“Mostofthetime,neitherdoI.”

“Ihavetosay,Idon’tknowwhethertobeimpressedorterrifiedbythetwoofyou.You’vecertainly

turnedthecorner.”

“We’rehopingtoinspireablockbustermoviesomeday.StraighttoDVD,ofcourse.”

“Youwouldn’twanttosetyourstandardstoohigh.”

“No,ofcoursenot.Itwouldbeself-financed,yousee.”

“TherearemoreSwissbankaccountsthepublicneverknewabout?”

“Irevealnothing.”

Christinepattedhisleg.“Youseemtobeinrelativelygoodspirits,allthingsconsidered.”

“Itwasn’talwaysthatway.Wewere…separatedafteryouleftinFebruary.Andthat’swhen,well,

youknow.Sheandhercrewfoundtheirwaytowherewewerehidingabouteightmonthsago.”

“Wow.”

“Didshetellyouanyofthis?”

“Wehadn’tgottenthatfar,asidefromsomeminordetails.Shepurposelyleftoutwhathappened

beforeshewascaptured.Howwereyouseparated?”

HeandChristineweremilescloserthantheyusedtobe,andifherevealedthetruththey’dbefurther

apartthanever.“IfItellyouwhathappened,you’regoingtohateme.”

“Well,I’mnotexactlyyourbiggestfan,somaybethat’snotanissue.”

Atleastshecouldjokeaboutit.“Pointtaken.I’mgladtherestofyourfamilydisagreedwithyour

judgment.”Shit.Talkaboutbeinginsensitiveashell.Hesawthepaininhereyes.“I’msorry,Christine.I

shouldn’thavesaidthat.”

“No,”shesaidbrusquely.“It’sfine.Whathappenedafterweleft?”

Theroomwasgettingchilly.Jackletoutahardbreath.“Thingsescalatedquickly.We’dheardrumors

ofarebelmovementgrowingoutwest.Youandthekidsweregone.JenandKathleenweregone.And

then,onenight…theycame.”

“Who?”Christineasked.

Shehadtodamnwellknow,butanyway.“Federaltroops.TheSantosAdministrationhaddonea

goodjobofplayingthemediagame.Allthemajoroutletswereeitherboughtofforcowedintotoeingthe

partyline.IftheytookusdowntherewasachanceAmericanswouldfigureoutwhattheyweredoing.

Theirsmokescreenwouldfade.Sotheyhadtotimeitright.Ofcourse,”hesaidwryly,“weallknowhow

wellthattheoryofmineworkedout.”

“Youcouldaffordtobeabitmorecynical,”Christinesaid.“Certainpocketsofourpartyhavefought

againstintellectualismandso-calledacademicelitismforyears,andit’spaidoffinspades.”

Afairifdepressinganalysis.NeitherhenorChristinewerelackinginpessimism.“Nearthe

beginningofFebruary,theytookoutoursecurityandcamechargingintothemansion,gunsdrawn.We

somehowmadeittotheLincoln,but…”Hewincedatthememory.“Iescapedwithoutascratch.Caroline

hadbeenshotintheleg.Justagraze,butsomethingthatwouldneedattention.”

Christinepattedhishand.“Youdon’thavetotalkaboutthisifyoudon’twantto.”

Washisdiscomfortthatobvious?“No,it’sokay.It’sactuallykindoftherapeutic.”

Sherubbedthebackofherneck.“Carolinesuregetsinjuredalot.Thatwoman.”

“Wedidn’tmakeitfarinthecar,”hecontinued.“GiventhenatureofherinjuryIwantedustogetto

Canadaassoonaspossible.TheyshotoutthetiresonsomecompactcarweswappedfortheLincolnas

wenearedwesternPennsylvania,andweslidofftheroadintoatree.Idon’tknowhoweitheroneofus

wasn’tkilled;abouttwentybulletshadtohavegonethroughthatpieceofshit.Caroline’sairbagdidn’t

deploy,andshewasdrivingsosheslammedintothesteeringwheel.Iwaslucky;Imaybehadacoupleof

crackedribsandatwistedankle.WesetoffonfootintheAlleghenyNationalForest.BythenCaroline

wasinreallybadshape.”

“Andmedicalcarewasn’tanoption,”Christinemuttered.

“Itwasn’t.Notthatitmattered;Icouldn’ttellyouhowwe’dhavegottentoahospital.Trudginginthe

woodsinthemiddleofwinter?Amanwhohadneverownedapairofhikingbootsandawomannursing

Godknowshowmanyinjuries?Wehadnobusinessbeingwherewewere.Andthen-”Thememories

overwhelmedhim,andheclenchedhisfist.

Shehandedhimatissue.“Whathappened,Jack?”

Shithappened.Bad,badshit.“We’dmaybegottenamileortwowhenCarolinecollapsed.Ihadto

propherupagainstatreetokeepherfromkeelingover.”Herubbedhiseyes.“Shethoughtshewas

dying,”hesaidsoftly.“Isawthisterrible,awfulfearinhereyes.Itriedtokeephertalkingbutitwasso

coldandshekeptnoddingoff.Iknewifshepassedoutcompletelythatshemight–thattherewasagood

chanceshewouldn’twakeup.”

Christineputherarmaroundhisshoulder,andhepattedherhand.They’dprobablybeenmore

affectionatewitheachotherinfifteenminutesthantheyhadinalmostadecadeofknowingeachother.It

wasbizarre,butpalliative.

“Icouldn’tcarryher.Andsheknew–webothknew–whatouronlyoptionwas.ButIwasn’tgoing

tosuggestit.”

Heturnedhisheadaway.Christinemighttoleratehimbetterthanshehadpreviously,buthedidn’t

wanttobreakdowninfrontofher.“Carolinewastheonewhohadtosayit.Ididn’twanttohearit,didn’t

wanttoacceptit.Shetoldmetogoonwithouther.Ididn’twanttodoit.But…”

“Jack,”Christinesaidquietly.“It’sokay.”

“Ilefther,”hewhispered.“Ilefthertodieinthewoods.”

Sherestedherheadonhisshoulder.“Howmanytimesdidshehavetotellyoutoleave?”

“Idon’tknow,threeorfour.Maybemore.Icouldn’tbelievewhatshewasaskingmetodo.Ikept

tryingtotalkheroutofitbutshewouldn’tlisten.Shegavemeherweddingrings.ShesaidifIdidn’t

leaveandwebothgotcaughtshe’dneverforgiveme.”

“Icanpracticallyhearhertellingyouthat.”Christineletoutatinylaugh,thensobered.“I’msorry,

Jack.Youprobablydon’tfindthatfunny.”

Hedidn’t,butthewayshesaiditmadehimsmile.“Itmightbealittleamusing,”heconceded.

Shebroughtbothofherarmsaroundhimandkeptherheadonhisshoulder.“Youneedtoletgoof

this.”

Hedidn’tpushheraway.“Youknow,you’realotmorephysicallydemonstrativethanIremember.”

“Myfrigiddemeanorhasbeenwarmedbythepresenceofyourchildrenthepasttwoyears.Ifeel

obligatedtobemorehuggynow.”

“Itstillfeelsabitodd.”

Christinewithdrewfromhim.“Fine.I’llcontinuetosharemynewfoundeffusivenesswithyour

wife.”

Theyweresilentforafewmoments,thefamiliartensionreturning.

“Youdidwhatsheaskedyoutodo,”Christinesaid.“Whatshetoldyoutodo.”

“Ishouldhaveneverlefther.”

“Ipresumeshewasquiteconvincing.”

Jackleapttohisfeet.“Doesitmatter?Ileftandshewascaptured.Theydidincrediblyunspeakable

thingstoherbecauseIwasn’tmanenoughtostay.”

Christinelookedhimsquarelyintheeyes.“Actually,thatwasoneofthebravestthingsyoucould

havedone.”

“Itsureashelldoesn’tfeelthatway.”

“Howmanytimesdidyoutrytogoback?”

Ten.Twenty.Amillion.“Ilosttrack.Ididn’tknowwhereIwasrelativetoher.AllIknewwasthatI

hadtokeepmovingsomehow.”

“Andsheblamesyouforthis?Thatseemssurprising.”

“Atfirstshedid,oratleastIthoughtshedid.”

Christinepressedherfingerstohertemples.“Sheblamedherself,didn’tshe?”

“Stilldoes.”

“Howlongdidittakeyoutofigureitout?”

Toolong.“Awhile,”hesaid.“CaretorubitinthatIwasn’tasquickontheuptakeasyouare?”

“Iwouldneverdothat.It’smucheasiertoseethetruthwhenyouaren’toneofthepartiesinvolved.

Easiertoblameyourselfratherthanlookforexternalreasons.AndIknowyourwifeprettywell.”She

smiledshyly.“MustknowyoubetterthanIthought,too.”

“Whatwouldyouhavedone?”

Christineletoutasmallsigh.“Bothchoicesareequallyawful.”

Hewasn’tgoingtorevealtoomuchmore.Thatwasdeeplypersonal.AndifCarolinespilledthe

beans,he’dneverwanttofindout.“We’vehadtoworkthroughsomethingssincethen.”

“Icanimagine.”

“Ithasn’tbeeneasy.She’scomealongwayinthepastfewmonths.Shealmostgaveup.Iknow

there’ssomethingshe’snottellingme.Maybeshe’lltellyou.”

“I’mnotgoingtogiveyouthedetailsifshedoes.YouandIaren’texactlyconfidants.”

“That’snotwhatImeant,”hesnapped.Herealizedhowharshhesoundedandsoftenedhisvoice.

“You’reherbestfriend,Christine.She’smissedyouterribly.TherearelimitstowhatIcangiveher.”

“You’vedonemoreforherthanyouthink.”

“Shehasnightmares,”Jackwhispered.“Notoftenbutthey’reterrifying.”Hisvoicebroke.“Idon’t

thinkshe’severgoingtobethesame.”

Christineputherarmaroundhim.“Anynormalpersonisforeveralteredbyatragedyorthey

wouldn’tbehuman.AndCarolinewasalwaysaverysensitive,sentimentalwoman.Butshe’sstrong.

She’llfindaway.”

Thetearsinhiseyeswereobvious.Humiliating.Butheknewshe’dunderstand.“Thisishardforme

toask.Idon’tknowexactlywhatyoucandobut…willyouhelpme?Withher?”

“AmIthefirstpersonyou’vetalkedtoaboutthis?”

Asifshedidn’tknowtheanswer.Henodded.

“I’mnotsurewhatthatsaysabouteitherofus,”Christinesaid.

ItwasthekindofthingheshouldhavetoldNatalie.“WhatcanIsay?It’slonelyatthetop.”

“Ibettherearen’talotofmarriagecounselorshangingoutwhereveryou’reat.”

“Wehaveonefriendwhohelpedbothofustremendouslybutshe’snotapsychotherapist.”

Christinerearrangedherselfonthebedsoshewasfacinghim.“Jack,Ihaven’ttreatedyoufairly.”

Shit.Hedidnotwanttohavethisconversationwithher.Thingshadgottenawkwardenough.

“Christine,youdon’thaveto-”

Shecuthimoff.“I’vehadalongtimetothinkaboutthis,andnowIgettosayallthethingsIwanted

tosay,tobothyouandCaroline.ItookyourkidsandgotthemoutofHarrisburg.Ididthatforher.Andfor

them,butmostlyforher.ButInevergaveyouafairshot.Ever.YouandIwouldfightlikecatsanddogs.I

couldseeitwasbreakingherheartanddiditanyway.”

Shewasshoulderingtoomuchoftheblame.“Webothdid,”hesaid.“Idon’trememberstoppingit.”

“Don’tstealmythunder.Ididn’tlikeyou.I’mstillnotsureIlikeyou.Butthatwasn’tmyplace.Your

wifewasandisoneofthemostimportantpeopleinmylife.Ihadnorighttotreatyouthatway.Sheloves

you.Thatshouldhavebeenenough.”

“Youhadyourreasons.Theremayhaveevenbeenahintofvaliditytothem.”

“That’snoexcuse.”

Arefreshingadmission,toolongincoming.Forbothofthem.“Youwouldn’tbeyourselfifyou

hadn’ttriedtoprotecther.”Hegrinned.“Eventhoughit’sfairlyobviousyouwerewayoffthemark.”

“Let’snotgocrazy.”

Jackcockedaneyebrowather.“Youlikeme.Youcanadmitit.”

“Fine,”shesaid,throwingherhandsintheair.“Inolongerfindyoudistasteful.”

Indifferencesoundedlikeawintohim.“MayIquoteyouonthat?”

“Always.”ChristineglancedoverataphotoofherandCarolineonthenightstand.“Itmustbecrazy

livingthisway,givenherabilitytogetherselfintotrouble.”

Indeed.“Beingmarriedtoastubborn,well-armed,determinedwomanisn’teasywhentheworldis

crumblingandyou’retryingtostopit.”

“Itseemslikeshe’smanagedtogetherselfalmostkilledmorethanafewtimes.”

“Atleastthree,”hesaid.“Thatmeansshehasseverallivesleft,right?”

“I’dassumeso.”Shepattedhishandagain,preemptivelygrabbingatissuefromtheboxonthe

nightstand.“Jack,I’meverlastinglygratefulyouprotectedCarolineandbroughtherbacktome.Thank

you.”

Ugh.Ifshecriedanymorehe’dneedatissuetoo.Maybehewasgettingtoosoft.“I’mnotsureI

protectedherallthatmuch.”

“Youdidthebestyoucouldinanimpossiblesituation.”

Therewasanotherpictureonhernightstand.Ofherfamily.Herotherfamily.“I’msorryaboutTom

andJess,”hesaid.“Theywerewonderfulpeople.Theysacrificedthemselvesforyouandthegirlsand

thatisadebtIcanneverrepay.”SheletoutastrangledsobandJackpulledherintohisarms.“I’msorry,

Christine.Ishouldn’thavebroughtthatup.I’msosorry.”

“It’snotyourfault,Jack.Weknewtherisks.It’sjust…beenhard.”

Paintookdifferentforms,wasprocessedindifferentways.Eventhemostresilientofsoulsknewit

well.“Iknow.”

“Idon’tthinkthere’sacomparisonbetweenoursituations.”

Heletgoofher,handingheranothertissue.“Couldyouhaveimaginedanyofthishappeningfour

yearsago?”

“What,melivingwithyourkidsinCanada,orthetwoofushavingacivilconversation?”

Jackchuckled.“Both,Iguess.”

Christinegatheredhertissuesandthrewtheminthewastebasket.“Iwon’tcomplaineitherway.Take

miracleswhentheycome,becausethey’refewandfarbetween.”

Hecertainlywould.

ChapterSeventeen

ChristineinsistedongivingJackandCarolinesomealonetime.Jackwasn’tentirelysurewhatthat

meant,butsuspectedshewouldforcehimtosleepinherroomthatnightwhileshetookthecouch.He’d

learnednottoargue,especiallywhenshewasnolongerquibblingwithhim.Shemeantthegesture

sincerely.He’ddamnwelltakeaprivatemomentwithhiswifewhenhecouldgetit.

“Christinemademepromisenottodoanythinginappropriatewithyouinhere,”hesaid,closingthe

bedroomdoorandleaningagainstit.

“I’mnotsureifthat’smuchofapromise.Sheknowswhatyourstandardsare.”

“Oh,really?”

Shetuggedathissleeve.“Imayhavetoldafewstories.”

Hekissedhercheek.“Onlythegoodones,Ihope.”Damn,thatbedlookedcomfortable.Whenwas

thelasttimehe’dbeenonaqualitymattress?Heresistedtheurgetoshakehishead,knowinghiselitism

waspokingthrough.Andhiswifemusthaveknownwhathewasthinkingbecausesheverydramatically

swoopedontothebedspread,restingherchinonapillow.

“Incaseyou’rewondering,thisissupercozy,”Carolinesaid.“Like,highthreadcountsandanice

fleeceblanketandgoosedownand-”

“Igettheidea.”Hesettledinnexttoher,pleasedwhensherolledintohisarms.“Howareyou

feeling,sweetheart?Beenaroughday.”

Afullbodyshudderfollowedbyacluckofresignation.“Couldhavebeenworse.”

Shewasfeelingtheaftereffects.“YouwerethinkingaboutTheFedthefirsttimeyouheardhisvoice.

Isawyoustiffen.”Hedidn’tbotherframinghisobservationasaquestion.

Carolinesniffled.“Yeah.”Sheheldupherhands.“Iwasthinkingaboutthis.”

Jackkissedherfingers.“You’remorethanwhathedidtoyou.”

“Iknow,”shesaidquietly.

Hewasdeterminednottoletherforgetit.Evenifhehadtorepeatitathousandtimes.“Wasit

strange,seeinghim?”

“Alittle.Noneofusreactedwell.”

Jackwasstilldisappointedinhimself.Theurgeforretributionwasnatural,maybeevenjustified,but

theoutcomewouldhavebeenterrible.“Weneedtoworkonthat.”

Carolineburrowedintohischest.“Let’sstartbeingbetterpeopletomorrow.RightnowIjustwantto

forgeteverything.”

“Imissthis,”hesaid.“Usspendingtimetogether.”

“Youmisssex.”

Thatpartoftheirrelationshipwasn’tterrible,but…“Imissyou.Andme.Relaxing,unwinding,not

havingtobeonguardallthetime.”

“Youhaven’tfoundawaytorelaxhere?”

Hecouldhearthelaughterinhervoice.“Notyet.”

Shehuggedhimcloser.“Wehavetodecideournextmove,”shewhispered.

Californiawasonlyaflightaway,butitwasmorethanmiles.Hedidn’twanttothinkaboutit.The

HaguehadbeenavacationbutCanadawasadream.MaybetheycouldbuyaJeepandtrekuptothe

YukonTerritoryandthefiveofthemcouldhideoutforaslongastheyneeded.Untiltheshithitsomeone

else’sfan.

Buthe’dthoughtaboutit.Hehadto.Madeacoupleofcalls.IfheandCarolineweregoinganywhere,

theirfamilywasgoingwiththem.

“Wedon’thavetodoitnow,”hesaid.“Letmejustholdyouforawhile.”

“HaveItoldyouhowswellyouare?”sheasked.

Herubbedherback.“Hmm…you’vetoldmehowmuchyoulovedme,whatagoodmanIam,

mentionedsomethingaboutasexyprofessor,butI’mnotentirelysureyou’veeversaidI’mswell.”

“Youare.You’reagoodkissertoo.”

“Oh,really?”Hepressedhislipstohers.“Likethis?”

Sheranherfingersthroughhishair.“That’sjustapeck.Youcandobetter.”

“Wepromisedourgracioushostthatwe’dbehaveourselves.”

Shecrawledontopofhim.“Youdidthat.Ipromisednosuchthing.”

Theyhadtoberesponsible.Evenifthatbreathtakingredhairmadehimwanttoripoffallher

clothes.“Caroline-”

“Wannamakeout?”

Heturnedthetables,takingherwithhimasherolledoveronthebed.They’dspendtheafternoon

holdingeachother,thenightdoingthesamething.Andhe’denjoyeverydamnminuteofit.“Hell,yes.”

ChristineandJackmadethefiveofthemdinner.AllCarolineheardwasfriendlybantercomingfrom

thekitchen.Amazing.Thegirlsretiredshortlyafterthemeal,claimingfatigue.Giventheday’sevents,it

wasn’toutsidetherealmofpossibility.Sophiehadbeenquietwhenthethreeofthemchatted.Marguerite

triedtoprodherintomoreconcreteresponses,butCaroline’syoungestdaughterjustwantedtohugher,

avoidingallofthetoughquestions.Translation:shedidn’twanttoletherparentsgo,whichmade

Carolinefeelevenguiltier.Jackwaswatchingtelevisioninthelivingroomandcatchinguponafew

emails,soCarolinewashidingoutinChristine’sbedroom.

“Jackneedstosleepmore,”shesaid.“Hespendstoomuchtimefocusedonme.”

“Enjoyit,”Christinesaid.“Thatmaniscompletelytakenwithyou.Maybeevenmorethanheusedto

be.”

“Sincewhenareyousogunghoaboutmyhusband?”

“ItalkedtohimtodaywhileyouwerewithMaggieandSoph.Ididn’twanttoclawhiseyesout.”

“That’sprogress.”

“Youtwoarestayinginheretonight.Together.”

Well,then.“Musthavebeenquiteaconversationifyou’reofferingupyourbed.”

“Youneedthatquiettime.AsmuchasIadoreyou,I’mperfectlyfineonthecouch.Iassumeyoutwo

wereabletocontrolyourselvesthisafternoon?”

Hemanagedtogoadherintoremovinghershirt.Foolingaroundlikehighschoolershaditsmerits,

exceptnowshewaseagertodisrobeevenfurtheroncetheyhadmorethanafewhoursalone.“Ofcourse,

Chrissy.We’repoliteandrespectfulguests.”

Christinelaughed.“Isupposeyouare.BasedonwhatIdiscussedwithhim,I’dliketotalktoyou

aboutafewthings,ifthat’sokay.”

“We’regoingtohavehearttoheartseverynight,aren’twe?”

“Wehavealotofcatchinguptodo.Andneitherofusseemstosleepverywell.”

Validpoints.“Askaway,Chrissy.”

“Don’tsoundsoputout.Wedon’thavetotalk.Wecanseetheinourself-loathingandponderour

existence,doingourverybesttofendoffthebaddreamsinstead.”

Whatacharmingphrasing.“Justgetonwithit.”

“TellmemoreaboutwhathappenedwhenyouwenttoCalifornia.”

Shit.Shehadleftoutafewpertinentdetails,hadn’tshe?Gabewasalongstory,butshetried.Keptit

short.CarolinecouldtellChristinewasdisappointedinher.

“Goahead,”shesaid.“Layintome.”

Christinerubbedhertemples.“Idon’tknowwheretostart.How’dJackreactwhenyoutoldhimthe

truth?”

“Hewashurt.I’mstilltryingtomakeupforit.”

“Idon’tthinkhe’sholdingagrudge.Notaresentfulboneinthatman’sbodywhenitcomestoyou.”

“ItreatedJackterribly,Chrissy.Ireallydid.Ihadallthisangerinsidemeanddirecteditathim,even

thoughhedidn’tdeserveit.Isaidsomanyhorriblethings.WorsethanwhenNickydied.”

Christineshookherhead.“Youwereprettyfoulthen.Ican’timaginehowyoucouldtopit.”

“Idid.Numeroustimes.”

“Jackfeelsrottenaboutwhathappenedinthewoods.Youknowthat,don’tyou?”

“Iknow.Ikeeptellinghimtoforgivehimself.”

“Whataboutyou?Haveyouforgivenyourself?”

Ofcourseshewouldaskthehardquestions.Carolinehadgottenoffeasythenightbefore.“I

shouldn’thavemadehimleave.”

“Whatwouldyouhavedoneiftheroleswerereversed?”

Sheneverwantedtothinkaboutthat.Notfortoolong.Thepastfewdayshadbeenbetterthanshe’d

feltinforever,andshewasn’tabouttofuckthatup.“Whatwouldyouhavedone?”

“Jackaskedmethesamething,”Christinesaid.“Ican’tanswerthatquestion.Youcanbepretty

damnedpersuasivewhenyouwanttobe.”

Atleastshewasdiplomaticenoughnottoforcetheissue.“Itwasn’tfairtoforcehimtomakethat

choice.”

“Noneofthisisfair.Wejusthavetomoveonfromit.”

“That’swhatNataliesaid.”Carolinesmiled.“SheremindsmeofKatie.”

Christinepattedherhand.“Kathleenwasafunone,wasn’tshe?”

“Imissher,”Carolinesaidquietly.“Itrynottothinkaboutit.”

“Thentakeabreak.You’reallowedtostoptakingontheworld’sproblemseveryonceinawhile.”

“Hardtodothat.”

“Iknow.Yourdevotiontopublicserviceisabitextreme.”

Carolinenudgedhershoulder.“Jerk.”

“IkidbecauseIlove.”

Didn’tsheknowit.“Whatdoyoureallythinkofallofthis?”

“Ofwhat?”

“Everythingthat’shappenedoverthelastfewdays.”

“It’salottoabsorb,”Christineadmitted.“I’mworkingonit.IfIhadn’tbeensoshockedtoseeyou,I

probablywouldhavebeenterrified.”

“Why?”

“You’realittlerougharoundtheedges.Andtoday,whathappenedwithMurdock…thatthrewme.”

“You’retheonewhokickedhiminthegroin.”

“Nothankstoyou.Youpracticallyliftedmykneeforme.”

ShewouldhavedoneitherselfhadChristinenotvolunteeredfortheassignment.“Ialwayswantedto

gohigh,”Carolinesaid.“Inpolitics,inlife,whatever.They’dgolow,they’dgetdirty,andIwasnever

supposedtogetdowninthemudwiththem,youknow?Butyoucan’treasonwithunreasonablepeople.

There’snocommongroundinthatsortofdisagreement.Thelinesarenevergoingtomeet,evenifthey’re

headedtowardeachother.Ithoughtwecoulddiscoverasenseofharmony,couldmakesomesortof

humanconnectionifwetriedhardenough.ButIwasnaïve.ThereweresomanythingsItookforgranted.

SomanythingsIthoughtI’dhavetimetodo.AndnowI’vedonethingsIneverthoughtIwould.Those

hardtruthschangeyou,Chrissy.Youmayhavechangedinadifferentwaybutyou’veseenthedarkness

too.”

“That’sneverareasontosuccumbtoit.”

Shedaredtogetself-righteous?Carolinewastemptedtocalloutherhypocrisybutdidn’twantto

startanargument.“Sometimesit’sunavoidable.Tellmewhat’sreallybotheringyou.”

“What’sbotheringmeisyou’resodifferent.Andnotinentirelygoodways.”

AsifCarolinedidn’tknowthat.Fuckrestraint.Fatigueandfadingadrenalineloosenedhertongue.

“I’veseenalotofshit.Toomuchshit.IfIgodown,I’llgodownfighting.It’seasyforyoutosituphere

waitingforustodoeverything,butyoudon’twanttodealwiththepracticaleffects.”

Christinepushedherselfoffthebedandindignantlyflungupherhands.“Youknowwhat,you’re

right.Ihaven’tdoneanythingtohelpyouinanyway,haveI?It’snotlikeIlefteverythingbehind,allmy

friends,mylivelihood,myhome,myheritage,becauseImadeapromisetoyoutoguardyourchildren.

It’snotlikemyhusbandanddaughtersacrificedthemselvestogetyourkidsacrosstheborder,orIhadto

traipsethroughthehinterlandswithonlytheclothesonmyback,worryingaboutwhatlayahead,

wonderingwhetheryouandJackweresafe,wonderinghowIwasevergoingtoexplainwhatwasgoing

ontoMaggieandSoph,hopingIcouldgetthemtosafety.It’snotlikeI’vespentnightsworryingwhether

I’dbeabletoraisethemproperly,whetherIwasansweringtheirquestionscorrectly,whetherIwas

teachingthemtherightvalues,whetherIwasdoinganythingthewayyou’dwantmeto.Tomakesure

theyrememberedwhoyouwere,tothinkaboutwhattodoastheygotolder.WhatI’ddoiftheybeganto

forgetyourvoiceandyourspiritandhowmuchyoulovedthem.”Thewordskepttumblingfromher

mouthandhervoicebegantoshake.“Ihaven’tseenthedevastationthat’sgoingoninacountrythatIlove

witheverythingthat’sinme,forcedtocontemplatethattheAmericaIthoughtIknewneverexisted.I

haven’twokenupinthemiddleofthenightscreamingoutforyouorTomorJessie,feelingsickabout

howthethreeofyousufferedatthehandsofaregimedeterminedtoeraseeverythinggoodandtrue.

You’reright.Ihaven’tdoneadamnthing.It’sallbeensunshineandfuckingdaisiesuphere.”

Carolinehadphrasedheraccusationpoorly.Andunfairly.Christinehadn’tdeservedit.She’dproved

herloyaltyanddedicationtothecauseathousandtimesover.“Chrissy-”

“No.”Christinepointedanaccusingfingerinherdirection.“Youdon’tgettotalk.Igettotalk.You

andJackchargeinhereoutofnowhere,youhaven’tgivenmeanyspecificsaboutyourgameplanorhow

youintendtoexecuteit,andnowI’mlefttowonderhowI’mgoingtoexplainthingstoyourchildrenwhen

youdisappearinthemiddleofthenight,whichIknowyou’reboundtodo.”

Wasthatwhatthiswasabout?Apprehensionaboutbeingseparatedagain?“Wehaveajobtofinish.

WehavetostopSantos.”

“That’swhatyoudo,isn’tit?Youdoincrediblynoblebutunbelievablystupidthingsallthetime

withoutthinkingoftheconsequences.Maybejustonceyoucouldthinkabouttheeffectithasonthepeople

wholoveyou.MyGod,Caroline,howmanytimeshaveyoualmostbeenkilledbecauseofyourprized

senseofdecency?HowamIgoingtoexplainittoyourchildrenifyouleaveanddon’tcomeback?How

amIgoingtolivewiththat?”

CarolinejumpedupandtookChristine’shands.“Youdon’tneedtothinkaboutthatnow.”

Christinebitherlip.“OfcourseIdo.Iknowyou’renotstaying.YouandJackhaveajobtofinish,I

getthat.Ijust….IgotyoubackandIdon’twanttoloseyouagain.”

Echoesofherhusband’swords.Ofherdaughter’swords.NomatterwhatCarolinedid,shewas

disappointingsomeonewholovedher.Itwasmorethanthepotentialofseparation.Christinewasdeeply

upsetaboutsomething.“What’sreally,trulybotheringyou?Ifit’ssomethingthatinvolvesyellingatme,

pleasecounttotenfirst.”

Christinesatdownonthebed.“It’snotyou.It’sme.”

“That’sneveragoodline.”

“No,thistimeit’sreallytrue.”Shesmiled,justalittle.Notahappysmile.“LatelyI’vebeen

questioningmyroleinthegirls’lives.InthejobI’vedone.NowthatyouandJackarehere,IrealizeI’m

notnearlytheguardiantheyneed.”

“That’snottrue.”

“YouchosethetwoofusbecauseofTom,right?”

Oh,Christ.Wasthattheissue?Carolineslidnexttoheronthebedspread.“Ichosebothofyou.”

Christinereachedforatissue.“Iwasneverallthatgreatamother.”

Yeah,she’dhitthenailonthehead.Someinsecuritiesneverwentaway.Theyweregoingtoneedan

industrialsizeboxoftissuesafterthetwodaysthey’dhad.“Ofcourseyouwere.Whatathingtosay

aboutyourself.”

“Ihaven’ttoldSusannahI’malive.ShethinksI’mdead,I’msure.”

Thatwascurious.Therehadtobeabenignwaytogetwordtoher.“Whynot?”

“Ijust-”ThiswasclearlyatopicChristinedidn’twanttodiscuss.Buthell,she’dopenedthedoor.“I

can’t.”

“Chrissy-”ThemoreCarolinethoughtaboutit,themoredisconcertedshefelt.“Youhaven’t

contactedherintwoyears?”

“That’swhatIjustsaid.”

CarolineknewSusannahandChristinehadtheirmoments.She’dwitnessedmanyofthem.Butfor

Chrissytoletherdaughterthinkshewasdead?Thatseemedcoldevenforher.“She’sinParis.She’d

wanttoknowyou’realive.Youshouldreachout.I’msureshe’dbeoverjoyed.”

Christineshookherheadvigorously.“It’sbetterifshethinksI’mdead.She’ssaferthatway.”

“Areyouevergoingtotalktoheragain?”

Christineclutchedatthebedspread.“YouthinkImadethewrongchoice.”

“No.I’mtryingtounderstandit.Therearewaystokeepheroutofharm’swayandstillhavea

relationshipwithyou.”

“Wenevergotalongwell.AndyouknowwhatitwaslikebetweenmeandJess.”

Herbodylanguage.Herdemeanor.Hermood.Christinewasn’tignoringSusannahonpurpose.She

wasdesperatetomakecontact.Herinsecuritywasguidingherdecisionmaking,andnotingoodways.

Justhowmuchhadsheinternalizedovertheyears?“Chrissy,you’renotabadmother.”

“TheywerebothsoclosetoTom,”shesaidquietly.“Hewasaphenomenalfather.LikeNick.”

“Nickywasagreatdaddy.ButJack’sdoneallright.”

“Hehas,”Christinesaid.“BetterthanIwouldhavethought.Butthegirlswerealwayssomuchcloser

toThomasthantheyweretome.”Shehuggedapillowtoherchest.“Iwasterrifiedwhenthethreeofus

firstgothere,becauseIknewyouhadbeencountingonthefactthatitwouldbebothmeandTom.”

“Thingsdon’talwaysworkoutasplanned.That’swhyIchoseyou,Chrissy.Iknewyou’dfindaway

tomakeitworkregardlessofthecircumstances.You’restrongandsmart,andmychildrentrustyou.

That’senough.”

“IwishIhadmetsomeonelikeyouwhenIwasinmedicalschool.”

“What,whenIwaslike,ten?”

Christinelaughedsoftly.“No,ifwe’dbeenthesameage.Andifyou’dbeenaroundwhenSusannah

wasborn.MaybemychildrenwouldhaveturnedoutbetterifI’dhadthatkindofinfluence.”

Exceptsometimesherinfluencewasshit.“Yeah,throwingyourchildrentothewolvesisgood

mothering.”

“Punky,youdidwhatyouhadtodo.Haven’tyoulearnedanythingthepastcoupleofdays?They’re

fantastickids.Andthey’resomuchlikeyou.”

Suchanicethingforafriendtosay.Carolinecouldalmostbelieveher.“I’mnotsurewhatmakesa

goodparent,butsomuchofitistrialanderror.Noneofusknowwhatwe’redoingatfirst.Idon’tknow

whatI’mdoingnow,almosttwentyyearsafterIstarted.Motherhoodisaslowdancetowardinsanity,

Chrissy.Youdon’tknowwhetheryou’refuckingupornot.AndlookhowSusannahturnedout.Lookatthe

kindofpersonJesswas.Kidsdon’tgetthatwaybyaccident.”

“TomandIonlygotmarriedbecauseIwaspregnant,”Christinesaidbluntly.

Carolinehadn’texpectedthattransition.Notquiteyet.Shecertainlydidn’twanttoadmitshe’d

alwayssuspectedasmuch.

Christinetwistedherhandsinherlap.“Ialmostmadeaterribledecisionbeforethat.”

Wasshesupposedtopursuethat,orletChristinetakethelead?Carolinewentwiththelatter,nodding

silently.

“I’venevertoldanyonethis,”Christinewhispered.“Ilivedmyentirepoliticallifefearingthetruth

wouldcomeout.”

Shemightnotwanttoprodher,butCarolinedidn’twantChristinetopushherselfovertheedge.

They’dsharedsomanysecrets,withscoresinreserve.Maybetheyneededabreak.“Chrissy-”

“Myhusbandwastheonlyonewhoeverknew.”

Thenagain,maybeChristineneededtotellsomeone.Someonewhowaspresent.Whoknewher.Who

wouldbethereifsheneededit.“Whathappened?”Carolineaskedsoftly.

“ImetThomasrightafterwestartedmedicalschool,”Christinesaid.“Helikedmerightaway.I

don’tknowwhy.IwasanevenbiggerbitchthenthanIamnow.”Sheheldupafinger.“Don’tbother

correctingme.”

Carolineswallowedthecomplimentshe’dplanned.“Okay.”

“Itdidn’thurtthatIwasrelativelygood-looking,”Christinesaid.“Idon’tsaythattobeegotistical.I

knowthat’sthemainreasonmenfoundmeinteresting.Itcertainlywasn’tbecauseIhadagood

personality.”

“Ilikeyourpersonality,”Carolinesaid.

“Youwouldn’thave,backthen.Iwasalarminglyambitious.Fullofmyself.Tomdidn’tcareabout

that.Westarteddatingalmostassoonaswestartedclasses.”

“I’mnotallthatgoodofaCatholicgirl,”Christinecontinued.“Nomatterwhatyouthink,nomatter

howThomasjokedaboutit.OnenightaftersomeholidaypartyheandI–well,weforgottotake

precautions.Wewerecompletelyblitzed.Itwassuchaclichéthatonemistakecouldresultinan

unplannedpregnancy.Ipanicked.IfigureditoutoverWinterBreakandwasterrifiedmyparentswould

discoverthetruth.Ialmostdidn’ttellTom.”

CarolinesqueezedChristine’sshoulder.“Whatmadeyoutellhim?”

“Thomaswasalwaysabetterpersonthanme.Always.Ididn’tthinkitwasfairtokeepitfromhim.

ButallIkeptthinkingwas–Iwentthroughsomuchtogethere.Iscrapedandscrabbledandworkedmy

assoffthenwentandfuckeditallbygettingmyselfknockedup.Myfatherwouldhaveneverletmehear

theendofit,becauseheknewdamnwellI’dendupafailureeventually.WhatwasIsupposedtodo?I

wasn’tevensurehowIfeltaboutTom.”Hervoicebroke.“Buthelovedmealready.”

“Hehelpedmemaketheappointment,”shesaidquietly.“Hedrovemetotheclinic.Itwassocold

thatday.ItwasnastyoutbutIwantedtogetitoverwith.I’dalreadylostenoughsleepandknewifI

didn’tdoitsoonI’dneverbeabletogothroughwithit.Ikeptmyhandonthedoorhandle.Iwasreadyto

goinside,butcouldn’tquitebringmyselftogetoutofthecar.ItoldhimIdidn’twanthimtocomeinwith

me,andhewasupsetaboutthat.Andthenhegrabbedmyarmandtoldmenottodoit,thathewantedto

marryme.”

“Ithoughthewaskidding.Wewerebarelyafewmonthsin.Wehardlykneweachother.Wehadthe

restofmedicalschool,residencies,studentloanpayments,allthosefaroffburdensyoutrynottodwell

onwhenyou’reyoungandimpulsive.Andweweregoingtosaddleourselveswithamarriagebasedon

flawedcircumstances,withachildneitherofuswasequippedtocarefor?ThenIlookedathim,atthe

unconditionalloveinhiseyes.AndIknewIcouldn’tgothroughwithit.IfIdidI’dneverbeableto

forgivemyselfbecauseofwhatitwouldhavedonetohim.”Christinestartedcrying.“Ididn’teventhink

aboutthelifegrowinginsideme.CanyouimaginewhatSusannahwoulddoifsheknew?I’msovery

selfish.Idon’tdeserveanyofyou.I’materriblehypocrite.”

Well,yes.Butwhowasn’t?“We’reallhypocrites,”Carolinesaid.“Weallmakemistakes.And

sometimespeoplekeepusfrommakingthemevenworse.Maybethat’swhyTomwastheoneforyou.Did

youeverthinkofthat?”

“Sometimes.”

“Nomatterwhichchoiceyoumade,itwouldhavebeentherightone.Youshouldn’tdwellonwhat

mighthavebeen.That’swhyhavingthechoiceissocritical.”

Christinesmiled.“I’mimpressedbyyourrestraint.Iexpectedanextendedlecture.”

“Withcharts?”Carolineasked.

“Iwouldn’tputanythingpastyou.”

Carolinecouldworkinthemeritsofbodilyautonomyandreproductiverightssomeothertime.

Maybeoncetheysortedoutalltheotherissuespreventingfreedomfromflowering.“Youhadthechoice.

Youwrestledwithit.Yousettledonthebestdecisionforyouinlightofallthecircumstances.Idon’tsee

howIcouldlectureyouforthat.”

“You’retoomagnanimous.”Christinestaredatherhands.“SometimesIwonderifTomwouldhave

marriedmewithouttheprospectofanunplannedpregnancy.”

Jesus.Herdemonswerestartingtoeatthemselves.“Chrissy,comeon.Tomadoredyou.”

“Iknow.Ijustwonderifitwasbasedonforcedcircumstanceorgenuinedesire.”

“Doesitmatter?”

Christineshookherhead.“Weelopedthenextweekend.Wefudgedthedatessonoonewould

suspect,butIthinkmyparentsknew.Susannahprobablyhashersuspicions.”

“Butyoumadeitthrough.”

“Barely.Thosefirstfewyearsweresohard,mostlybecauseofme.Ishouldhavenevercriticized

yourrelationshipwithJack.IspentmyentirelifepassingjudgmentwhenIhadnorightto.”

Ah,evenmoreenlightenment.TheirconversationsweregettingtobedownrightZen.They’dbeen

huggingalotlatelybutthiswasonetimewhenherbestfriendneededtobeheld.Carolinewrappedher

armsaroundher.“Chrissy,humanbeingsarebydefinitionflawedandimperfect.Youthinkyou’rethefirst

persontodothat?I’vedoneittoo.”

“Itdoesn’tmatter.Mylifeisalie.”

Perhapsjustaslightoverdramatization.“No,it’snot.Youdon’thavetoapologizeforbeingwhoyou

are.You’vemadeallyourdecisions,goodorbad,withlove.Igetthat.I’msureJackwouldunderstand

too.”

“Oh,IalreadyapologizedtoJack.Itwasalongtimecoming.”

Shewouldhavedamnnearsoldhersoultobeintheroomwhenthathadhappened.Carolinerested

herchinonChristine’sshoulder.“It’sbeenalongnight.ButIwanttomakesureyouknowsomething.I

meanteverythingIsaidwhenItoldyouabouttheguardianship.You’remysister.Iwouldnothavetrusted

youwiththatresponsibilityifIdidn’tbelieveyouwouldteachmydaughterstobekind,loving,decent

humanbeings.Iloveyouforit.Ialwayswill.So,dammit,Idon’teverwanttohearanydiffident

anecdotesaboutyourmotheringskillseveragain.”

“But-”

“Nope.Neveragain.Nopityparties.You’reafantastichumanbeing.Idon’tpickfriendswhosuck.

Stopblamingyourselfforeverything.”

“Isn’tthatwhatyoudo,too?”

“Thisisn’taboutme.ButIpromisenottoself-deprecatesomuchifyouagreethatyouhavemore

thanafewredeemingqualities.”

“Deal.”ChristinegaveCarolineahugbeforeheadingtothedressertogethernightgown.“I’mtaking

thecouch.Gogetagoodnight’srestwithyourhusband.”

ChapterEighteen

Carolinelikednothavingtoworryaboutthings.AmeetingwiththePrimeMinisterandtheAmerican

ex-patleadershipwassetforthenextday.Sheandherfamilyweresafelyensconcedinalocked-down

apartmentbuilding.HerbodyguardswerereceivingadditionaltrainingfromthePrimeMinister’ssecurity

detail.

She’dspentthenightinJack’sarms.Warm.Safe.Comforting.Physicalaffectionwassoreassuring,

soright.Rechargingheremotionalbatteriesinthemosteffectiveway.Itwashardtogetoutofbedthe

followingmorning.Butthensherememberedshewaswithherfamilyandneededtotakeadvantagewhile

shecould.ThatmeantsheandJackwerefreetorelaxwiththeirchildrenfortheafternoonandevening,

allwhileleavingthesilentquestionunanswered.Theelephantintheroom.Thetensionthat,thoughlatent,

wasgrowing.Everyonecouldfeelitbutnoonecommentedonit.WhenMargueriteandSophiesloughed

offtobedthatnight,shehadheropening.

CarolinesatdownatthekitchentablewithJackandChristine.“Youshouldmakesomecoffee,

Chrissy.Itmaybealongnight.”

Christinetookherhand.“You’vebeenjitteryallday.What’sbotheringyou?”

Everything.CarolineturnedtoJack.“HowsafewouldChrissyandthegirlsbeiftheywerewith

us?”

“YoumeanhereorinCalifornia?”

Hehadtoseetheroadshewasgoingdown.“Both,butmostlyonbase.”

“Safeenough.Saferthanhere.”

Shedidn’twanttocry.Despitealltheemotionsgrippingherheart,mostofhertearslatelyhadbeen

tolerable.Butalittlesnuffleslippedoutanyway.ItwasenoughtomakeChristinegripherhandabit

tighter.

“Iknowit’salottoask,”Carolinesaid.“ButIcan’t–thepastfewdayshavebeenwonderful.Idon’t

thinkIcanleaveyouandthegirls.Ireallydon’t.ButI–thatis,JackandI–wecan’tstayhereeither.

Chrissy,howattachedareyoutothisplace?”

Theotherwoman’seyesgotbright.“Iwanttogohome.Allthreeofusdo.”

“Californiaisn’thome,”Carolinesaid.“Notreally.”

“ItisifI’mwithyou,”Christinesaidsoftly.

Carolinesniffled.“Sometimesyouinadvertentlysayespeciallynicethings.Didyouknowthat?”

Christinelaughed,thetearsinhereyesspillingover.“I’vebeengettingbetteratitlately.”

“Whataboutyourleadershipposition?Yourotherresponsibilities?”

“Rogercantakeover.Briancanhelp.Wecantalktothemaboutittomorrow.Mybiggestobligation

hasalwaysbeentoyouandyourchildren.Idon’tneedanythingthat’shere.”

CarolinelookedoveratJack,whowasrubbinghisforehead.“Iprobablyshouldhavetoldyou

beforeIsprungitonbothofyoulikethis.”

Hesmiledgently.“I’vealreadymadesomecalls.”

Wasshethatpredictable?“Really?”

“Yougavemealittlehintyesterdaywhenwechatted.”JackturnedtoChristine.“Imayhavetoldour

medicalpersonneltheycouldbeexpectinganotherdoctorsoon.”

“I’mnotsurehowqualifiedIamtotakeonthatkindofrole.”

“Itwouldbemarginal,”Jacksaid.“Mostlyfillinginwhenneedednowandagain.Youcouldhelpout

thewayyouhavehere,andassistusinmakingstrategicplanningdecisionsandconductingoutreachto

potentialallies.Sincewe’veallbutoutedourselves,itmakessenseforyoutobewithus.Wehavea

betterchanceofkeepingyousafe.”

“IsthisaboutthatjackassMurdockpullingthewoolovermyeyes?”

Ugh.Carolinehadtriedtoputhimatthebackofhermind.Closurewasalong,tediousjourney.

“No,”shesaid.“He’sanass,he’sasociopath,andhewouldhavefooledanyone.Ihopehisflighthada

tonofturbulence.”

Christinenarrowedhereyes.“JeffreyMurdockisamotherfuckerandIhopehedropshissoapinthe

showerandreceiveseverythingthatcomesalongwiththatstereotype.”

“ChristineSpencerSullivan!”Carolineexclaimed.“Sucha…vulgaryetremarkablydiplomatic

joke.”

“I’mwritingthatonedown,”Jacksaid.

“I’mnotsureyou’veeverusedthatwordbefore,Chrissy.”

“Myvocabularyhasexpanded,”shesaid.“I’mnotsureit’sanimprovement.”

Itwasadefiniteimprovement.“It’shilarious.”

“You’vethoughtaboutthis,”ChristinetoldCaroline.“Uscomingwithyou.You’vethoughtaboutita

lot.Haven’tyou?”

Sincethemomentshe’dentertainedthepossibilitytheywerealive.“Yes.”

“I’llbehonest,Punky.Iwashopingyou’dbringthisup.”

Christinearguablywouldhaveneverraisedthetopicherself.“Willyouconsiderit?”Carolineasked.

“Iknowthegirlswanttobewithus.”

“Ifwecomewithyou,Margueritemaydemandtojoinyourcorpsofsoldiers.”

She’dcrossthatbridgewhenshegottoit.“I’dratherhaveherunderourwatchthanrunningoffinthe

deadofnighttodoGodknowswhat.Ourbaseisremarkablysafe.Wecanmakeitwork.”Caroline

lookedatJack.“IhaveitongoodauthoritythatCommanderMcIntyrehastheabilitytokeeppeopleunder

homeconfinementiftheycausetrouble.”

“Isthiswhat’sbestforyou?”Christinewhispered.“Forthemovement?”

Itdidn’tmatteranymore.“Chrissy,Ican’tsaygoodbyetoyouagain.Tothegirls.I-”Carolineputher

headinherhands.

“Youneedtocomewithus,Christine,”Jacksaidquietly.“Ican’tthinkofanyalternativethatwon’t

involveusdoingirreparabledamagetoourselves.”

“Youdon’tneedtosayanything,Jack.Iloveyourentirefamily.Includingyou.AndI’mnotletting

youleavewithoutus.We’regoingandthat’sallthereistoit.”ChristinepattedCaroline’sshoulder.

“Doesthatmeetwithyourapproval?”

CarolinesatupandthrewherarmsaroundChristine.“Whatdoyouthink?”

“Well,I’llbedamned.Nowondersecuritywassotight.”BrianCapwellextendedahand.“Jack.”

“Didn’texpecttoseeus,didyou?”Jackasked.

“Us?”Brianglancedaroundtheroom.“Whoelseiswithyou?”WhenhiseyesrestedonCarolinehe

blinked.Once,twice,threetimes,beforeliftingCarolineupinagiantbearhug.

“Heneverhugsmelikethat,”Christinesaid.

“Ibarelygotahandshake.”Jackcrossedhisarms.“Idon’tknowhowtofeelaboutthat.”

“Where’sRoger?”Carolineasked,whenBrianloweredhertothefloor.

“Righthere,”hesaid,breezingintotheroom.“Apologies.Traffic.Andwho-”Hetookastepback,

hisexpressionchanging.“Mygoodness.”

“Shegetsthatalot,”Jacksaid.

“Holyhell,”Rogersaid.“Bothofyou?”

Jackshookhishand.“Ifyou’regoingtohugCaroline,justgetitoverwith.”

RogergavehimapatonthebackbeforekissingCaroline’scheek.“ApparentlyI’mtheonlypersonin

thisroomwhoknowshowtobehaveprofessionally.”

“How’syourwife?”Carolineasked.“Andyourkids?”

“Fine,fine,”hesaid.“That’snotwhywe’rehere.Shit,Ican’tbelievethis.Therebellionisreal.And

you’re…”

“Notdead?”Carolineoffered.

Brianchuckled.“IwasabouttosaythesamethingbeforeRogerblazedinhere.”Hegaveheranother

hug.“Boy,amIgladtoseeyou.”

“Reallystartingtofeelleftout,”Jacksaid.

Christinesweptintooneofthechairsattheconferencetable.“Getusedtoit.Carolineisgoingto

overshadowallofustoday.Denis,what’stheplan?”

“IfiguredJackandCarolinewouldtakethelead,”hesaid.“I’mhappytoprovideadvicebutthey’re

theoneswhoknowwhattherebellionneedsthemost.”

“Troops,”Jacksaidinstantly.“Militaryweapons,aircraft,andsupport.Intelligencecompilationand

analysis.Bodiesontheground.Spies.”

Denislaughed.“Okay,okay.Messagereceived.Anythingandeverything.”

“That’snotquiteaccurate,”Carolinesaid.“WehavepeopleinfiltratingtheSantosWhiteHouse.The

Hagueknowswhathe’sbeendoing.Youknowbasedontheleakeddocuments.Whatweneedishelpfor

thatfinalpush–ifandwhenwemakeanassaultonWashington.”

“Fullscaleinvasion?”Brianasked.

“I’dprefernot,”Carolinesaid.“Hehasthenuclearcodes.Ithastobemoresubtle.Troopson

standbyaregreat,butifwemarchintoD.C.withthousandsandthousandsofsoldiers,welosewhatever

advantagewehave.”

“Here’sthebottomline,”Jackadded.“He’sunpredictable,alwayshasbeen.We’vehadahardtime

gettingareadonhim.Butit’ssafetoassumehe’sonthecuspoffiguringoutthateveryAmericaninthis

roomisstillalive.Thatmakesusalltargets.”

“RepresentativeCapwellandSenatorBaileywillbegivenanupgradeinsecurity,”Denissaid.

“AlongwithSenatorSullivan,ofcourse.”

“Thatwon’tbenecessary,”Jacksaidsmoothly.“Christineandthegirlswillbetravelingbackto

Californiawithus.”

“Congratulations,gentlemen.”Christinedrapedherarmsoverthechairsoneithersideofher.“You

twoareincharge.”

Brianshrugged.“Roger,I’mhappytohandthereinstoyou.I’mquitecontentjustsittinginon

meetingsanddoodlingonanotepad.”

“Youtwocandivvyupresponsibilitieslater,”Denissaid.“Inthemeantime,Parliamentisprepared

toauthorizetroopsinalliancewiththeAmericanrebelsinCalifornia.I’vereachedouttosomeofmy

counterpartsinEuropeandthey’rewillingtoprovidethesameassistance.Allyouhavetodoissaythe

word.”

“Itmaybemoreofalogisticalissue,”Carolinesaid.“Ifsomethingweretohappen,ifSantoswereto

beremovedfromofficeorifacoupweretooccur,we’dneedextrasupporttomaintainorderwhilethe

systemisrepaired.”

“Theironiesoflife,”Christinemurmured.“Martiallawtoprotectfreedom.”

“Gottadowhatyougottado,”Carolinesaid.“Youknowyourhistory.Youknowpolitics.Ashort

periodofinterventionisfarpreferabletopermanenttotalitarianism.”

“ThisiswhyCarolineisourspokesperson,”Jacksaid.“Shemakestoomuchdamnsense.”

“Whateveryouneed,”Denissaid.“Wewilldowhateverwecantomakeithappen.It’stothebenefit

ofusallfortheU.S.toresumeasenseofnormalcy.Thisdisruptionaffectstrade,immigration,global

humanitarianpolicy,everything.EvenifSenatorSullivanisinCalifornia,ouramenablerelationshipwill

continue.”

“I’llmakesuresheremainsyourmainpointofcontact,”Jacksaid.

Denisstoodup.“Ithinkthat’sallweneedtodiscussfornow.”Hepulledabagofchocolateoutof

hispocket.“Onefortheroad,Ms.Gerard?”

Shecheerfullytookitoutofhishand.“IloveCanada.”

ChapterNineteen

“Nicefatigues,”Christinesaid.

Carolinetwirledaround.“Theyareflattering,aren’tthey?”

“Pleasedon’ttellmeyouhaveaberet.”

Shepulleditoutofherbackpocket.“Ido,infact.”

“Youcouldborrowanothersuit.”

Carolineadjustedherberetandholsteredhergun.“Notwithuscrossingatarmac.Mucheasierto

reacttosomethingwhileproperlyoutfitted.”

Gigpokedhisheadin.“GotyourAR,Gerard.”

Christinescowled.“NowyoulooklikePattyHearst.”

Carolineexaminedherweapon.“Oh,Idonot.Herhatwaswaybiggerthanmine.PlusIdon’tplanon

robbinganybanks.”

Christinelookedexceedinglyuncomfortable,followingCarolineoutintothelivingroom.“Isthis

reallynecessary?”

“It’scompletelynecessary,”Jacksaid,handingherabulletproofvest.“Wearen’ttakinganychances.

Wearthis.”

Christinehelditbetweenherthumbandforefinger,likeadirtydiaper.“You’vegottobekidding

me.”

“No,ma’am,”Crunchsaid.“Securityistightbutyoucanneverbetoocareful.Youcantakeitoff

onceyougetontheplane.”

“Thisisridiculous.”

“Ialreadyputoneon,”Margueritesaid.“Theywouldn’tgivemeagun,though.”

“Sophiehasavesttoo,”Carolinesaid,beforeChristinecouldask.“Mayaswellsuckitupandputit

on.Stayclosetomeoncewegettotheairport.Idon’thavetimetofindanothersuitableguardian.”

“Fine.”Christineunbuttonedhersuitjacket.“I’lljustnotethatunlikeyou,I’mdressedappropriately

forairtravel.”

MargueritenudgedCaroline’sshoulder.“Youroutfitlooksfinetome.WhendoIgetmyBDUs?”

“Never,”Jacksaid.“Takealltheclothesyouhavehere.That’senough.”

“Carsjustarrived,”Jonessaid.“Youreadytogo?”

Soonthey’dbehome.Or,asclosetoahomeastheyhad.Carolinecheckedherweapononefinal

time.“Yep.”

“I’mgladyousatnexttome,”Sophiesaid.

“Stillnotafanofflying?”Carolineasked.

“Notreally.”

Geneticdeficiency,evidently.Woulditbeinappropriatetoofferherchildananxietypill?She’dhad

todelaytakinghersuntiltheyboardedtheplane,sinceshewantedtobeclearheadedwhilecarryinga

rifle.“It’llbefine.Beenagoodfewdays,huh?”

“Yeah.”SophieliftedupherarmrestandsnuggledintoCaroline,bringingbackmemoriesofwhen

shewasyounger.“Theflightisn’ttoolong,right?”

“We’llbetherebeforeyouknowit.”

“I’mexcitedaboutgoingtoCalifornia.”

“It’llbegoodtohaveyoutherewithus,”Carolinewhispered.“ButnexttimeMogetstodominatemy

time.”

“Iguessso.Herbirthday’scomingup.Shecanhavetheentiredaywithyou.”

Whatathrilltolookforwardtoholidaysandspecialoccasionsandwanttocelebratethem.“Yours

willbeheresoonenough.”

“Dowegettodosomethingspecial?”

“Idon’tseewhynot.Wecouldallusealittlemorefun.”

Sophiesqueezedherhand.“Thepasttwoyearshavebeenprettylousy.”

Carolinetuggedatherseatbelt.Anxietymedicationcouldn’tdiffuseeverynervousticshehad.“I

hopetomakeupforitsoon.”

“Mom.”Sophiestraightenedup.“Youhavetostopfeelingsoguilty.”

“Ican’thelpit.Somuchhaschanged.Wedon’tevenhavethespacetoshareanapartmentwithyou.

I’dratherweallbetogether.”

“It’sfine.ThatmeansMoandIcanhavepartieseverynight,right?”

“Biteyourtongue.”

“CanIhavemyownplace?”

Carolinetweakedherear.“Youstillhavetoplaynice.”

“Fine.CanwegotoDisneylandformybirthday?”

Thekidwouldn’tquit.“Iwasthinkingmorealongthelinesofhomemadecakeandhangingoutbythe

lake.Somethingthat’sfeasible.Maybewecanshakeitupalittle.”Sheswallowedhard.“I’msorrywe

can’tdomore.”

“That’sokay,”Sophiewhispered.“Ijustwanttobewithyou.”

Carolineputherarmaroundherdaughter.“Ispentsomuchtimedreamingaboutyouandyoursister.

Wonderingwhatyou’dbelikeasyougotolder.You’rebothsomuchmorethanIeverimagined.”

Sophieleanedinforahardhug.“It’sokay,mommy.”

She’donlyusedthattermofendearmentafewtimes.Shewasfartoooldforit.ButCarolineknew

damnwellwhatitmeantwhenshesaidit.Shebrushedbackatear.“Iknow.I’msorry.”

Sophieheldhertighter.“CanIaskyousomething?”

“Anything.”

“Howbadwasit?”

They’ddancedaroundthetopicduringtheirlastdaysinOttawa.Carolinedidn’tknowifMarguerite

hadsharedsomeofherknowledgewithherlittlesister.Probablynot.“Reallybad,”shewhispered.

“I’msorry.”

“Nothingyoucandoaboutit.”Carolineshuddered.“Theworstpartwaswhentheytoldme–whenI

thoughtI’dlostyou.Ialmostgaveup.”

“Butyou’reherenow.”

“Iam.”

Sophieclosedhereyesandsniffledloudly.“Imissedyou.”

Carolinetuggedhercloserastheplanestartedtorolldowntherunway.“Wehavealotoftimeto

makeupfor.Ihopeyouwon’tgettiredofit.”

“Idon’tseethathappening.CanItakeanaponyourshoulder?”

SheplacedherberetonSophie’shead.“Sure.I’llwakeyouupwhenweland.”

“Iwanttotakeyoutomeetsomeone,”Carolinesaid.“Chrissyshouldcometoo.”

“Wejustgothere,”Margueritesaid.“Can’twegetsettledfirst?”

Therewasplentyoftimeforthat.Carolinewantedashowerandaheartymealbeforeshehelped

anyoneunpack.“Thiswon’ttakelong.Jackhastogetthekeystoyourapartmentanyway.”

“Wherearewegoing?”Sophieasked.

“Theinfirmary.It’sashortwalk.”

Margueritefrowned.“Afterthatcanwecomebackandhangout?”

Inotherwords,keepdoingwhatthey’ddoneinCanada.“Absolutely.”

Christinemotionedtowardtheplane.“Whataboutourbelongings?”

CarolinewavedatJones.“Imighthavebribedsomeonetocartyourluggagetoyournewresidence.”

“You’regoingtoforcemetolikeyourbodyguards,aren’tyou?”

“They’renottheonlyonesyou’regoingtobeforcedtolike.”

“Thatsoundsominous,”Margueritesaid.“Nowthatwe’reontherebelbase,areyouandJackgoing

togiveusordersandstuff?”

Shehadn’tthoughtofthat.Whatasplendididea.“Iverywellmight.IfIorderyounottotrainwith

theothersoldiers,willitwork?”

“Nope.”

Eh,itwasworthatry.“Here’sthedeal,”Carolinesaid.“Youcantrainwiththem,butthatmeansyou

dohavetoobeyanyordersJackandIgive,alongwithyourothercommandingofficers.Thatincludes

stayingputifneedbe.Understand?”

Margueritegaveheracrookedsalute.“Yes,ma’am.”

Carolinehelpedherdaughterstraightenherarm.“You’regoingtohavetoworkonthat.Nothingless

thanperfectionwhenitcomestoourrecruits.Comeon.”

Theinfirmarywasfairlyquiet.Butitwaslateafternoon,thesunwassetting,andtherewasaboutto

beashiftchange.CarolineknewwheretofindNatalie,doingpaperworkatoneofthenurses’stations.

Shedecidedtobealittleauthoritative,justforfun.“Workinghard,Isee.”

Nataliebroughtherheadup.“Heardyouwerecomingbacktoday.Nicehair.”

“Jackseemstothinkso.”

Nataliegaveherahug.“Ibet.Youdothatallbyyourself?”

“Themunchkinhelped.”

Sophiestuckhertongueout.“I’malmostfourteen,mom.”

Nataliesteppedoutfrombehindthedesk.“Sotheseareyourchildren?”

Carolinegaveherafaintsmile.“Yeah.”

Nataliecoveredhermouthwithherhand,puttingherarmaroundCaroline.“Theylookjustlikeyou.”

“Exceptforthehair.”

“Yes.Exceptforthehair.Whichlookssomuchbetterthanthatblondcrap.”

“They’llprobablyletyouhugthemifyouasknicely.”

NatalieturnedtoCaroline’seldestchild.“You’vegottobeMarguerite,”shesaid.“I’veheardso

muchaboutyou.”

MargueritecautiouslyshookNatalie’soutstretchedhand,lookingbackandforthbetweenhermother

andChristine.Yeah,thiswasprobablyalittleoverwhelming.“Allgoodthings,Iassume?”

“Ofcourse.”Natalieturnedtotheyoungerchild.“YoumustbeSophie.”

SophiethrewherarmsaroundNatalie.“Hi.”

“She’snotasshyassheusedtobe,”Carolinesaid.

Nataliereturnedthehug.“Icanseethat.”ShelookedoverSophie’sshoulder.“Andofcourseyou’re

Christine,”shesaid.

“Careful,”Carolinesaid.“Shebites.”

“Oh,Idonot.”Christineextendedherhand.“Nicetomeetyou.”

“Iunderstandyou’readoctor,too.”Nataliewinkedather.“Trustmetoshowyoutheropesaround

thisplace?”

“I’msureIcanfigureitoutonmyown.”

Damn.Cold,aloof,anddistant.HadChristineregressedontheflight?

Carolinepattedherarm.“Ofcourseyoucan,Chrissy.ButNatalieisawonderfulworkerbee.She’ll

haveyourunningtheshowinnotime.”

Christinestraightened.“I’mnotrushingintoanything.”Herexpressionsoftened,buthervoicedidn’t.

“I’msurewe’llgetalongjustfine.I’lltellNatalieallabouttherealyou.”

Oh.Thatwasit.Alittlebitofpossessiveness,whichwasfine.Losingconsciousnessandinsane

jealousyseemedlikeappropriatetokensoffriendshiptoCaroline.She’dtakethem.

“Isupposeyouneedtogetthemsettled,”Nataliesaid.“Callmelater?”

Carolinegaveheranotherhug.“Sure.”

Christineswipedafingeracrossthekitchencounter.“Thisiscleanenough.”

“Doyourequireahousekeeper?”

“I’llmanage.”

“Hardtoleavethosehighthreadcountsheetsbehind,wasn’tit?”

“Ibroughtthemwithme.”

Carolinecouldn’ttellifshewaskiddingornot.“Thisplaceisn’tsobad.You’llgetusedtoit.”

“I’mnotsureIwantto.Idon’twanttobecomecomplacent.”

“That’sdeep,Chrissy.Realdeep.”

“Gladyoucancatchmymetaphors.”ChristinekickedherfeetuponthecoffeetableasCaroline

laughed.“What?”

“Alreadyactinglikeyouowntheplace.You’regoingtointimidatethehelloutofeveryone.”

“AmIthatunapproachable?”

“Youscaretheshitoutofmemostofthetime.Evenwhenyou’retryingtopretendyou’reall

relaxed.”

“Really?”

Carolinesmiledbackather.“Notreally.ButIcanseehowotherpeoplecouldbefrightenedofyou.

You’reverydirect.”

“Soareyou.”

“Notinthesameway.”

“Natalieseemsquitevivacious.”

AwordCarolinehadn’theardinawhile,yetitapplied.Maybethiswasanopportunitytoremind

Christinetogiveherachance.“Sheis.Shegetsalongwitheveryone,too.”

Christinetappedherheelonthecoffeetable.“IfshelikesmeI’llfindhercharacterhighly

questionable.”

“Ilikeyou.DoesthatmeanIhavenomorals?”

“Nocomment.”

Carolineputherfeetuponthecoffeetable,playfullykickingatChristine’sshoes.“Nicepumps.”

“Don’teventhinkaboutmarkingthemupwiththoseterribleboots.”

“Iwon’t.”Shelaughed.“IreallylikenewChrissy.”

“Idotoo.”

Asoftkiss.Thenanother.Andanother.Carolinesatup,herbooktumblingtothefloor.“DidIfall

asleep?”

Jackkissedheragain.“Forabit.It’sokay.”

Notwhenshe’dbeenpromisedanightofwantonmaritalintercourse.“Whattimeisit?”

“Timetodonaughtythings.”Hetuggedatthecovers.“Areyounaked?”

“Iintendedtogetdressedafterdoingalittlereading.Guessmyeyesgottired.”

“Iseenoneedforclothes.”Henippedatherneck.“You’resogoddamnbeautiful,Caroline.”

“Justfondlemyhairandgetitoverwith.”

Hepattedherhead.“Oh,thethingsIcoulddotoyou.”

“Areyoutalkingtomeorthehair?”

Jackpinnedherdownonthebed.“Both.”

Carolinetriedtotalkinbetweenkisses.“Youknow,”shesaid.“Thehairthingisweird.”

“Hush.”

“Imean,it’sjustacolor,right?”

Jackproppedupononeelbow.“Youdon’tfeeldifferent?”

“AmIactingdifferent?”

Hepinnedherdownagain.“You’vebeenassertiveashell.Hastobethehair.”

Maybeitwasmorethanappearance.Maybeitwasjustbeingherselfagain,slowlybutsteadily.But

ifhethoughtitwasthehair,sobeit.“Iloveyou,”shewhispered.

“AndImissedyou,”hesaid.“Haven’thadmuchalonetimelately.”

Sheunbuttonedhisshirt.“Arewegoingtomakeupforthat?”

“Allnight,ifIhaveanythingtosayaboutit.”

Shedidn’twanthimtosayanotherworduntilhewasnakedandinsideher,sosheletherhandsdo

thetalking.Thelittletouches.Theteases.Slippingherfingersunderhiswaistband,undoinghispants,

relishingeverybitofforeplay.Carolinekissedthetopofhishand,nearhisweddingring.“Iwantthis

back.”

“Gettinglaidmightmakemeamenabletothatrequest.RightnowI’menjoyingareminderofwhyI’m

sodamnhappyit’sonmyfingerinthefirstplace.”Herestedonhishaunches,peelingthecoversaway

fromher.“Stillyearningforanotherspanking?”

Shespreadherlegs.“I’vegototherthingsinmind.”

Jacklickedhislips.“SodoI.”

ChapterTwenty

Margueritebegansomebasicmilitarytrainingontheconditionshekeepupwithherschoolworkand

cooperatewithanyordersshewasgiven,eveniftheywerecontrarytoherwishes.Whichwas,frankly,in

linewithproperprotocol.IfJackandCarolineindulgedheralittle,maybeshe’dstoppersistently

requestingtobeassignedtoacombatunit.

Sophiemaintainedherstudiesaswell,withChristineandNataliehelpingwithlessonswhenthey

weren’tonduty.Christinehadauniqueschedule–shespenthalfhertimewithCarolineandJackasa

liaisonandadvisor,andtheotherhalfoncallattheinfirmary.SheandthegirlsstoppedbyCarolineand

Jack’sapartmenteverynighttocatchupontheday’sactivitiesandforgettheirworriesforanhourortwo.

“Savoiecontactedmetoday,”Christinesaidonenightafterdinner.“Internationalsupportisgrowing.

He’llbesendingsomeencrypted,classifieddocumentstoSchroedertomorrowmorning.Ithinkhewants

todeployafewCanadianmilitarypersonnelhere,ifthatmeetswithyourapproval.”

“I’llaskJack,”Carolinesaid.“Butitmakessense.We’llhavethemcoordinatewithourguys

accumulatingdatainWashington.Schroederhasn’tsaidmuch,butIgetthefeelingsomethingbighasbeen

happening.I’daskformoredetailsbutheneverlikestotellusanythingunlessit’smorereliablethan

not.”

“Beenburnedalot?”

“WhenJackfirstgothere,therewasatonofbadintelcomingthrough.Contradictorystuff.Giving

unrealistichopeonedayanddashingitthenext.ThesenioradvisorsfounditfrustratingsoSchroeder

startedscreeningitbetter.Separatingthewheatfromthechaff.Ittookawhiletofindreliablepeople,

makesuretheywereintherightspots,thatsortofthing.”

“Youseemtoknowalotaboutthis.”

“Notenough.MaybeifI’ddonemorewhenwewereinHarrisburg-”

Christinewavedherhand.“Don’tgetstartedonthatagain.Nopointinfocusingonthepast.Youcan’t

undoit.Youcanonlymoreforward.”

“ThatsoundslikesomethingNataliewouldsay.”

Christineavertedhereyes.“Well,I’vebeentalkingtoheralotlately.”

“Like,officially?”

“Inatherapeuticcapacity,yes.”

Thatwasatadsurprising.“And?”

“It’sbeenhelping.”

Nataliewouldbekind.Andgentle.AndChristinewouldhaveresponded.“I’mglad.”

“Ithinkyoushouldknow,though.ItoldherduringourfirstsessionthatIhadyoufirstsoshecan’tgo

thinkingshe’ssupplantedmeoranything.”

“Youdidnotsaythat.”

“Idid.”

Wow,shewasn’tjoking.Carolinewasn’tsurewhethertobeflatteredoramused.“Iguessthat’s

progress.Youtalkingaboutyourfeelingsandall.”

“Iguess.”Christinerubbedherforehead.“Wehadaninterestingdiscussiontoday.NataliethinksI

shouldcontactSusannah.”

Madesense.Dr.HaddadwouldhavedoneherbesttoconvinceChristinethathersilenceoverthe

pasttwoyearshadbeenmoreofaburdenthanablessing.ForbothherandSusannah.“JackandIhavea

secureline.Youcouldcallher.”

“Iknow.Ihavehernumber.Ijust-”

Shewasnervousthoughshehadnoneedtobe.“She’sgoingtobehappytohearfromyou,”Caroline

said.“Youknowsheis.”

“YouhavealotmoreconfidencethanIdo.”

“Justcallher.You’llfeelbetter.”

“She’satworkrightnow.”

Carolineglancedattheclockacrosstheroom.“Huh,wearekeepinglatehours.It’swhat,anine

hourdifference?”

“Yes.”Christinehesitated.“Iwashopingyou’dcallherforme.”

Howthehellwasshegoingtoswingthat?“Chrissy,Idon’tthinkthat’sappropriate.Youshouldcall

her.”

Christinelookedalittlesheepish.“No,that’snotwhatImean.YouspeakFrench.Whatifsomeone

elseanswers?Iwon’tknowwhattosay.Literally.”

She’dprobablybeabletofumblethroughacall.“Isthistheonlyreasonyouhungoutwithme

tonight?”

“Caroline,donotmakemesmackyou.IknowIhavejokedaboutitbeforebutthistimeIreallymean

it.”

Therapycouldn’tcureeverything;Carolineknewthat.Christinewaslegitimatelyterrifiedabout

speakingtoherdaughter.Itwouldbewrongtopokefunatherfurther.“Okay,”shesaid.“Givemethe

numberalready.IhopeIrememberhowtoparle.”

Christinerummagedaroundinherpurse,pullingoutasmallslipofpaper.“Everythingiscorrect,

includingcountrycode.”

Carolinepickedupthephoneandrangthenumber.“It’sconnecting.”

“Willanyonewonderwhythehellyou’recallingFrance?”

Schroedermonitoredtherecords.He’daskquestionsifsomethingappearedoff.“I’mgoodattalking

mywayoutofstuff.”

AperkyvoicepickeduponthethirdringandspokeinramblingFrench.Carolinerackedherbrain,

tryingtorememberbasicpleasantries.Christinegrabbedherhandasshespoke.

“Bonjour,”Carolinesaid,tryingtokeephervoicefromshaking.“EstSusannahRosenthal

disponible,s'ilvousplaît?”

Theperkyvoicegrewabitmoreprofessional.“Puis-jeluidirequiappelle?”

Crap.Theyprobablyshouldhavedrawnupaplanbeforecallingwilly-nilly.Carolinecoveredthe

phone.“Hersecretarywantstoknowwho’sontheline,”shewhispered.“WhatdoIsay?”

Christineshookherheadbackandforth.Christ,shereallywasnervous.“Idon’twanttosayit’sme.”

“Whythehellnot?You’dbettergivemeananswerorI’mgoingtosayit’sMommieDearest.”

“AngelaDaring.That’soneofherbestfriendsfromlawschool.”

“HerlastnameisreallyDaring?”

“Justhushandtellthatwomanbeforeshehangsuponyou,”Christinesaid.

Carolinegotbackonthephone.“AngelaDaring,”shesaidbreathlessly.“Del'écolededroit.”

Thereceptionist’stonewasalittlelesswelcomingthistime.“Unmoment,”shesaid,andputheron

hold.

“Shit,”Carolinesaid.“ShemightknowI’mbullshittingher.”

“You’redoinggreat.”

“IshouldhavetotallysaidMommieDearest.”

“Quiet.”

Theholdmusicendedandaflustered,familiarvoicestartedspeakingtoherinrapidFrench.

Carolinecouldn’tquitemakeoutwhatwasbeingsaid.SomethingaboutBermudaandharassmentand

somethingelseshecouldn’tquitecatch.ItsoundedsuspiciouslyclosetotheFrenchexpressionfora

femaledog.Insteadoftryingtofollowshedecidedtointerrupt.

“Susannah,stop,”shesaid.

“Excuseme?”Susannahasked.“Whoisthis?Iknowit’snotAngela.Whatdoyouwant?I’msickof

beingbotheredbyyoupeople.”

“Whatisshesaying?”Christinewhispered.

Carolinewavedheroff.“She’supsetaboutsomething.”

“Whoareyoutalkingto?”Susannahasked.“Whoisthis?”

Shehadtotellthetruth,eventhoughitsoundedlikeSusannahwasabouttohanguponher.“It’s

Caroline,”shesaid.

“Excuseme?”

“Youknowwhoitis.Yourecognizemyvoice.”

“Thisisn’tfunny.Iwantyoupeopletoleavemealone.”

“Pleasedon’thangup.It’sme,Caroline.Look,Ihavesomeoneherewhowantstotalktoyou.”She

grabbedChristine’shand.“It’sveryimportantthatyoulistentome.Areyouonasecureline?”

“Ithinkso.But-”

“Doyoubelieveme?”

“Adeadwomaniscallingmyphone.So,notsomuch.”

SusannahhadinheritedChristine’scharacteristiccandor.“I’mnotdead,”Carolinesaid.“It’salong

story.Who’sbeenharassingyou?”

“HowdoIknowIcantrustyou?”

CarolineclosedhereyesasChristinesqueezedherhand.“BecauseI’msittingnexttoyourmother.”

Hervoicechanged.“Thatisn’tfunny.Idon’tknowwhothisis,but-”

“Pleaseletmeputheronthephone.Shereallywantstotalktoyou.”

CarolinepulledthephoneawayfromherearasSusannah’svoicecontinuedtorise.“Mymotheris

dead,”shesaid.

“No,she’snot.Please,justhearmeout.”CarolinehandedthephonetoChristine.“Goahead,

Chrissy.”

“Ican’t-”

“Doitbeforesheslamsthephonedown.Seriously.”

Christineputthephonetoherear.“Susannah?”shesaidquietly.“It’smom.”Shereachedfor

Caroline’shandagainandstartedsqueezingiteventighterthanshehadbefore.“Don’thangup.Please.”

Shewassilentforamoment.CarolinecouldmakeoutSusannah’svoice,butnotthewords.

“No,it’sme,”Christinewhispered.“I’msorryIdidn’tcallearlierbut…Idon’thavealotoftimeto

explainit.Idon’twanttosaytoomuchincaseyou’rebeingwatched.ButIwantedtoletyouknowIwas

safe.”Shelistenedforanothermomentandbitherlip.“No,Susie.DaddyandJessaren’twithme.

They’re…nothereanymore.”Anotherpause.“Yes.I’msorry.”

Itwasashortconversation,maybetenorfifteenminutes.ChristinewasgrippingCaroline’shandso

tightlythatshethoughtshemightbreakabone.Carolinetriednottoeavesdropbutstillcaughtdetails

aboutgrandchildren.AboutlifeinParis.Aboutmissinghome.AndshewouldhavelovedtoletChristine

keeptalkingallnight,butsafetywasalwaysparamount.ShemotionedforChristinetowrapitup.

“Ihavetogo,”Christinesaid.“I’msorryIcan’ttalklonger.Butitmightnotbesafe.Ihopeyou

understand.”Hervoicebroke.“Iloveyou.”ShehandedthephonebacktoCaroline.“Shewantstotalkto

you,”shesaid,andstartedcrying.

Carolineputthephonetoherear.“Susannah?Areyoustillthere?”

Susannahtookadeepbreath.“It’sreallyyou,isn’tit?”

Carolineletoutagiddylaugh.SheandSusannahweren’tclosebutshesoundedsohappyshe

couldn’thelpherself.“Yeah.”

“Idon’twantthedetails.”

“You’reright.Youdon’t,”shesaid.

“I’msorryIcalledyouabitchearlier.”

“IthoughtIcaughtsomeprofanity.GladtoknowyourFrenchskillsareall-encompassing.”

“Ismomokay?Sheseemsalittleoff.”

Christineleanedintohershoulder,andCarolineputherarmaroundher.“She’llbefine,”shesaid.

“She’sjusttired.I’llstaywithherforawhile.”

“Thisis,um,kindofweird.”

Carolinechuckled.“Welcometomylife.Listen,Ineedyoutodosomething.Yourmotherissafewith

me.Iwantyoutoknowthat.ButIthinkit’sbestifyoudon’ttellanyoneaboutthisconversation.Noteven

Jacob.Understand?”

“Whereareyou?”

“Idon’twanttosay.Keepyourfamilysafe.Actlikenothinghaschanged.We’llbeintouchagain

whenthetimeisright.”

“WhatifIneedtogetaholdofyou?”

Avalidquestion.She’dhavetogivetheirFrenchcontactsaheadsup.“Don’tworryaboutthat.We’ll

findawaytodoitsoyou’retheonlyonewhoknows.Okay?”

“Caroline,I’mgladyou’re–I’mglad.AndtellmymotherIloveher.”

CarolineinstinctivelyhuggedChristine.“Iwill.Areyougoingtobeokayifwehangup?”

“Ithinkso.ItwashardtohearaboutDaddyandJess.”

“Theydiedsavingmychildren,”Carolinesaidquietly.“Andyourmother.”

“I’mnotsurprised.Theywerealways-”Shecoughed.“I’dexpectnothingless.”

CarolinefeltalittlebadlythatSusannahhadtohangupandholdheremotionsinside,keepinga

secretshecouldn’ttell.Cryingforthefatherandsisterwho’dbeentakenfromhertoosoon,evenifforan

honorablereason.AtleastChristinehadthebenefitofsympatheticphysicalcomfort.“I–Iwantyouto

knowI’mgoingtokeepaneyeonyourmom.”

“Iappreciateit.IknowyourFrenchisrusty,butIbetyou’llunderstandthis.Mercideprendresoin

demoncœur.Mamère.”

Carolineswallowedhard.“Cen’estrien.CanwestoptalkinginFrenchnow?We’remakingyour

mothernervous.”

“Gogetsomesleep.Takecare.Aurevoir,monamie.”

Carolinehungupthephone.“Soyou’reagrandmother,huh?”

“Shutup.”

“CanIcallyougrandma?”

“No,youmaynot.”

Dammit.She’dhavetoworkitinanyway.“Areyousure?Justthinkaboutit.”

Christinewipedhereyes.“Iamtooyoungtobeagrandmother.”

“Oh,comeon.You’retheperfectage.You’vegotenoughenergytoenjoyitoncewegetthismess

figuredout.”

“Shehastwins,”Christinesaid.

Carolinelaughed.“Oh,wow.”

“Identicalboys.”Sheclearedherthroat.“ShenamedthemDesmondandSpencer.”

Tom’smiddlename.Hermaidenname.“That’snice.”

“It’smorethannice.Iwishwecouldhavechattedlonger.ItwaslessawkwardthanIthought.”

Shortandsweet.CarolinesuspectedChristinewouldbebacksoontomakeanothercall.She

wouldn’tbeabletostayawayforlong.“Susannahsoundedprettygoodonthephoneaftershegotoverthe

shock.”

Christinesniffled.“ShewasprettyupsetaboutTomandJessie.”

“She’llneedtimetoacceptit.Butyou’restillhere.”

“Whatdidshesaytoyou?”

Carolinegrinned.“Noneofyourbusiness.”

“No,really.”

Wassheworrieditwassomethingbad?“Shethankedmefortakingcareofherheart.InFrench.She

meantyou.”

“Well.”Christinepickedupherpurse.“Thatwasnice.”

Thatwaseitherawaytokeephershakinghandsoccupiedorasocialcuethatshewasreadytogo

homeandcryinprivate.“Itoldyoushe’dbehappytohearfromyou,”Carolinesaid.“Shealsosaidto

tellyoushelovesyou.ButshesaidthatinEnglish.”

“Thatwasnice.”Christinelaughed.“See,shehasahardtimesayingittoo.”

Carolinesqueezedhershoulder.“Hey,whenthisisallovermaybewecanallmovetothesouthof

France.”

“I’dmuchratherthatSusannahcomehomewhereshebelongs.”

Theyshouldallbesolucky.Carolinegaveheranotherhug.“Doyoufeelbetternow?”

Christinesmiledather.“Much,muchbetter.”

ChapterTwenty-One

ChristinesankintothecouchinJackandCaroline’sapartment.“Areallofourbriefingsthatdry?”

“Yes,”Nataliesaid.“Atleast,theyarewhenI’mintheroom.”

“Whywereyouthereagain?”Carolineasked.

Sheshrugged.“Dunno.JackaskedsoIshowed.”

“Maybehe’stryingtodiversifyhisstaff,”Christinesaid.

Dammit,heprobablywas.Whatalameeffort.“Ihopenot.Ifhethinksthatputtingthetwoofyouin

themixmakesupforallthetestosteroneintheroom,he’swrong.”

“Goodtoknowwe’llhaveafewrepresentativesfromforeignalliesheresoon,”Christinesaid.

“Misshavingallthatpowerupnorth?”Carolineasked.

“No.”Christinelookedoffended.“Buttheyhavemuchbettermilitaryinfrastructurethanwedo.

Shouldweneedtofight,they’refarmorelikelytoaccomplishsomething.”

Carolineshookherhead.“Igetthefeelingwewon’thavetodoanythinglargescale.Santosistoo

paranoid.Tooprivate.He’sgoingtodosomethingirrationalandwe’llhavetorespond.”

“Likelaunchingnukes?”Natalieasked.

“Biteyourtongue.”Carolinepressedherfistintoherpalm.“We’vealreadyheardrumorsaboutthat.

I’mhopingtheprospectofmutuallyassureddestructioniskeepinghimfromdoinganythingstupid.”

Christineslidherjacketoff.“Ifhe’snotactingorthinkingrationally,doeslogicreallymatter?”

Shedidn’twanttosinkintothatpit.NotwhentheyhadsolittleintelligenceaboutSantos’daytoday

behavior.She’dmuchratherescapeforafewhours.Maybemore.Carolinepulledabottleofwhiskey

fromthekitchencabinet.“Wannagetdrunk?”

Natalieclappedherhands.“Oh,lets.”

“Chrissy?”

“Whynot?”

Carolinefoundthreehighballglassesandfilledthemalmosttothetop.Theysatinthelivingroom

sippingthesmoothwhiskey,theirglassesmagicallyrefillingagainandagain.Theeffectofthehardliquor

drovethemtolaughlikeoldfriends.AkeyturnedinthelockandCarolinestraightenedup.

“Shit,”shesaid.

“What?”Christineasked.

Carolinelookedatthealmostemptybottle.“Uh,thisisJack’s.”

“What,youhavetogetpermission?Isn’tCaliforniaacommunityproperty…republic?”Natalie

asked.

“Great.”Christinegrabbedthebottle.“ShouldIpouranotheronewhileIcan?”

Jackstoppedshortwhenhesawthethreeofthem.“Hellothere.”

“Hey,Monty,”Carolinesaid.

NataliefrownedatChristine.“Whatdidshejustcallhim?”

Christinetookasipofwhiskey.“Idon’tknowbutit’sdefinitelysomethingtopursuelater.”

Jackglancedatthecoffeetable.“Isthatmyboozeyou’redrinking?”

“Didn’tseeyournameonit,Commander,”Carolinesaid.

Hechuckled.“Iseewe’vehadafewalready.”

Carolinesalutedhim.“Indeedwehave,sir.”

Jacklaughedagain.“Planningonhavingaparty,orisitjustthethreeofyou?”

“Isn’tthreeenough?”Christineasked.

“Iseeyou’vegottenChristinedrunktoo.”HeturnedtoNatalie.“Iassumeyou’renotsobereither?”

Natalietippedherglassathim.“Youhavegoodtaste.”

Hepickedupthebottle.“Almostgone.Youladieshavebeenbusy.Thatbriefingendedthirtyminutes

ago.”

Carolineroseonshakylegs.“Maybethere’smore.”

Jackpushedherbackdown.“Letme,sweetheart.”

“He’ssoconsiderate,”Carolinesaidinastagewhisper.

“Hejustshovedyouontothecouch,”Christinepointedout.

“Hecanhearyouboth,”Nataliesaid.

“Idon’tcare.”Christinepolishedofftheremainderofthefirstbottle.“IdoubtCarolinecareseither.”

Jackreturnedfromthekitchen,placinganotherbottleofwhiskeyonthetable.“Trynottodemolish

thisone,allright?Takeiteasy.”

“Weknowhowtoholdourliquor,”Carolinesaid.

“Yes.Icantell.”

HisamusementdrewsternscrutinyfromChristine.Sheputherdrinkdown.“Governor,there’s

somethingI’vealwayswantedtotellyou.”

Dammit.Christine’stolerancehadalwaysbeennotoriouslylow,andwhenshewentpastthepointof

sobrietyshe’doftenlethersnarkslitherintostereo.Carolinelookedbackandforthbetweenthetwoof

them,concernedanyheatedexchangemightbringtheeveningtoascreechinghalt.“Chrissy-”

“It’sfine,Punky.Thisis-”Shetookamomenttocollectherself,slurringslightly.“Tremendously

important.”

Jacksighed.“Whatwouldyouliketosay,Christine?”

Sheliftedherglassup,toastinghim.“Youhaveareally,reallyniceass.”

NataliespitoutherremainingwhiskeyasCarolinetriednottochokeonherowndrink.

“Well.”Hepickedupthefullbottle,twistingthecapandrefillingherglass.“Thankyouforthat.

Perhapsyoushoulddrinkmoreoften,Senator.”

“Ijustmight.”

JackruffledCaroline’shair,movingbehindthecouch.Hekissedthetopofherhead.“Don’tstayup

toolate.”

“Wewon’t,”shepromised.

Nataliedabbedatthewhiskeyonthetable.“Thatwaspriceless.”

Carolinegrabbedahandfulofnapkinsfromthekitchen.“Ihavetosay,thatwasthelastthingI

expectedyoutotellhim.”

Christinetookalargesipofherdrink.“Youknowit’sthetruth.”

Ofcourseshedid.“Itlookstentimesbetterwhenhe’sinthebuff.”

“I’llbet.”

Carolinepouredherselfanotherglass.“ShouldIbeworriedthatbothofyouarelustingaftermy

husband?”

“Nothardly,”Christinesaidhuffily.“Iappreciatethemaleform.Thomashadaspectacularrump.”

Carolinegiggled.“Rump?Menaren’tpiecesofmeat,Chrissy.”

“Thomasdefinitelywas.”

“Somuchobjectification,”Nataliesaid.

“It’swhysheneverembracedfeminism.”

“Areyoucontendingthatmyhusbandwasnoteasyontheeyes?”Christineasked.

“Oh,hewas,”Carolineagreed.“Allthosefootballworkouts.Wesnaggedourselvesacoupleoftasty

men.”

“Acoupleofgoodmen,”Christinecorrected.

Christine’sformerlysnarkyalcoholconsumptionhadtransformedtomagnanimity.MaybeCaroline

wouldfoistboozeonhermoreoften.“Whateveryousay.”

“Whataboutyou,Natalie?”Christinetookthelibertyofrefillingtheyoungerwoman’sglass.“Gota

crushonthecommander?”

“IknowbetterthantogetonCaroline’sbadside.”

“You’dhavetoworryaboutChrissycomingafteryounow,too,”Carolinesaid.“Althoughshemay

joinyouinyourpursuitof…whateveritisyouwant.”

“Ijustliketolook,”Christinesaid.

“Youcoulddomorethanlook.Gocougarononeoftheenlistedmen.”

Christinesnorted.“Idefinitelywon’tbedoingthat.”

CarolineturnedtoNatalie.“DidyouseeMajorBallardmakinggooglyeyesatherduringthis

afternoon’smeeting?”

“Oh,hewasnot,”Christinescoffed.

“Hewas.”

“I’veseenhimatthegym,”Nataliesaid.“He’sgotnicearms.Youshouldgoafterhim.”

“Notgoingtohappen,”Christinesaid.

“You’reprettyhot,Chrissy.Youcouldtotallyhaveafling.”

Christinesoberedsomewhat.“I’mnotreadyforthat.Althoughit’snicetoknowtheoptionisthere.”

Carolinesqueezedhershoulder.“We’llmakeyouabadgirlyet.”

“You’renotabadgirl,either.Youjustthinkyouare.”

She’dhavetotellChristinesomestories.She’dlearn,ohsoquickly.“Idefinitelyam.”

“IbetJacklovesthat.”

“Hedoes.”

ChristinegaveCarolineanimpishgrin.“I’vegottoknow.IsJackreallythatgood?”

“Whoa.”Natalielaughed.“Thatwasaquickshift.”

“OhmyGod,”Carolinesaid.“Didyoujustaskmetotellyouaboutmysexlife?”

Christinetookanotherslugofwhiskey.“AlltheseyearsI’vebeendyingtoknow.”

“You’reanosydrunk,aren’tyou?”Natalieasked.

“We’reluckyshehasn’tstartedthrowingthings.Usuallyshe’sapissydrunk,”Carolinesaid.

“Nottonight,”Christineasserted.“Iwanttoknowallthestuffyou’vebeenholdingback.Freerange

session.”

Carolinegrinnedbackather.“YouusedtogetuncomfortablewhenI’dtrytotellyouaboutour

adventures.”

“NowIwanttolivevicariously.”

Shewantedtoknow?Oh,she’dknow.“He.Is.Spectacular.”Carolinetracedanidlefingeraround

therimofherglass.“HolyChristisheamazing.He’slikesomesortofsavant.”

Christinefinishedtherestofherglassbeforerefillingit.“Well,”shesaid.“Goodforyou.”

“Likeyoudidn’talreadyknowtheanswer.”

“Isuspected.Especiallyafteryoutwopracticallyhadsexinpublic.”

“ThatnightattheFairmontwasafluke,”Carolinesaid.“Idon’tliketosharethatsortofthingwith

otherpeople.Notevenyou.IcantalktoyouaboutitbutI’mnotgivingyousuperintimatedetails,ifyou

knowwhatImean.”

“Getacouplemoredrinksinyouandyoumight,”Nataliesaid,giggling.

“Thatentireelevatoraffairwasscuzzy,”Christinesaid.“Themediacoverageofthevideo,notthe

factthatyouandJackdidit.Itwasdreadfullyunfair.”

Carolinesmiled.“I’mtouchedthatyou’restillsopissedaboutit.”

“Iwillalwaysdefendyou,Punky.”

“Iwassodrunkthatnight.Cameclosetodoingsomethingthatwouldhavegottenoneofuscharged

withindecentexposure.”

“Yes,Caroline.Iknow.”

OfcourseChrissyknew.Shekneweverything.“Doyouthinkeveryoneelseknewtoo?”

“Itdoesn’tmatter.It’soneminoreventinthecourseofyourlife.”ChristineturnedtoNatalie.“You

shouldhaveseenhowJackreactedwhenshecoveredthatawfuldyejob.Ithoughthewasgoingtoripher

clothesoffinfrontofallofus.”

“Itwasn’tthatbad,”Carolinesaid.

“Oh,itwas,”Christineinsisted.“Honestly,it’sadorableinaweird,somewhatawkwardfortherest

ofhumanitykindofway.”

Carolinefrownedather.“Adorable?Idon’tthinkyou’veeverusedthatwordinyourlife.”

Christinedownedtherestofherwhiskey.“Liquorloosensmytongue.”

“That’sfordamnsure,”Nataliesaid.

“ForalongtimeIthoughthewasjustaboutsex,”Christinesaid.“Butit’smorethanthatwiththetwo

ofyou,isn’tit?”

Wasn’tsheanosylittlething.“Areyougettingallreflectivenow?”

“Perhaps.”

“AtfirstIthoughtthatwaswhathewasabout.”Carolineglancedattheclosedbedroomdoorand

loweredhervoice.“Thatwasallhewasusedto,likehedidn’tthinkhedeservedanythingelse.

Somethingchangedinhimthelongerweweretogether.Thingsmightbebetternowthantheywerebefore,

andtheywereprettyhotintheearlystagesofourmarriage.Asidefromthewholefearingforourlives

andthecountrycollapsingthing.”

“Youmadehimthatway,”Christinesaidquietly.“Youaffecthimdeeply.”

“Idon’tthinkitwasallme.”

“No,itwasn’t.Itwasinsidehimbutheneededhelpfindingit.”Christinewrappedherarmsaround

herself.“Tomhadthesameeffectonme.”

Carolinescootedtowardher.InebriatedChristinecouldstillgodownhill,dependingonhowthe

conversationshifted.“Chrissy,wedon’thavetotalkaboutthisnow.”

Christinegaveherawobblysmile.“Iwantto.”SheturnedtoNatalie.“Ifthat’sallrightwithyou.”

Nataliesatdownnexttothetwoofthemonthecouch.“Finewithme.”

“It’sfunnyhowotherpeoplehelpshapewhoweare.Goodorbad,that’swhattheydo.You’dthinkit

wouldbewithinus,thatwe’ddevelopourpersonalitiesindependentoftheoutsideworld.Butsomuchof

itisdeterminedbythosewhocomeintoourlives.”ChristineleanedbackagainstCaroline.“Iwishyou

couldhaveknownTom,”shesaidtoNatalie.“AndNick.WishyoucouldhavemetCarolineandmewhen

wewerefirstelected.I’dbecurioustoseewhatyouthoughtofusbackthen.”

“IassumeIwouldhavelikedyouboth,”Nataliesaid.

Christineshookherheadvigorously.“Youwouldn’thavelikedme.Iwasacompletebitch.”

Carolinewrappedherarmsdelicatelyaroundhershoulders,huggingherfrombehind.“Thatfirst

nightwemet,Nickytoldmeonthecarridehomethatshewasstonecold.”

“Didhereally?”Christineasked.

“Hechangedhisopinionratherquickly,”Carolinesaid.“MostlybecauseItoldhimIlikedyou.”

“Whydidn’tyouevertellmethisbefore?”

“Didn’twanttotarnishyourmemoryofhim.”

“That’snotpossible.”

“Howdidyoutwobecomefriends?”Natalieasked.

Carolinelaughed.“Itotallystalkedher.”

“Youdidnot,”Nataliesaid.

ChristinesqueezedoneofCaroline’shands.“Shedid.Ihadafeelingabouther.Iknewshe’dhelpme

becomeabetterperson.Nothaveabiggerheartordogooddeedsorbemorespiritualoresoteric,but

helpmelikemyselfmore.Tomtoldmetoletherin,soIdid.”

“Smartman,”Carolinemurmured.

Christinesniffled.“Sharpasatack.”

Carolineleanedforwarduntiltheywerecheektocheek.“Ireallymisshim,Chrissy.”

Christineletoutashakybreath.“Imisshimtoo.”

“Hewasabetterpersonthanallofusputtogether,”Carolinesaid.“I’mnotkidding.”

“Ibelieveyou,”Nataliesaid,pattingChristine’sknee.“Ithinkwe’regettingtoomopeyhere.Wantto

watchamovie?”

Christinestraightened,wipinghereyes.“ThatdependsonwhetherCarolineislookingtohave

drunkensexwithherhusbandtonight.”

“Oh,he’sokaywithmewakinghimuplater.Gogetsomethingtotallycheesy.LikeGreaseor

Soapdishorsomething.”

Nataliestoodup.“Ooh,let’sbePinkLadiestonight.I’llbebackinaminute.”

ChapterTwenty-Two

Marguerite’seighteenthbirthdaycelebrationwasjoyfulbutsubdued.Sophie’sfourteenthbirthday

twomonthslaterwasequallyreserved,mostlybecausetheyfeltthecrushoftheinevitabledescending

uponthem.Allianceswereforged,detailshashedout.Theintelligencefunneledthroughtheircontactsin

Washingtonbecameincreasinglybleak.Eachbriefingwasmoredepressinganddisheartening,andallof

themweregrowinguneasy.Tempersflared,argumentsalmostcametoblows,butJackandCarolinedid

theirbesttorepairanyriftsamongtheiradvisorsbeforeclosingeverymeeting.

TheHagueoccasionallysentthemcorrespondence,keepingthemapprisedofthestatusoftheir

investigation.Indictmentshadbeenissuedbutnotunsealed,andMurdockandEdwardswouldremainin

custodyuntiltrial.WithSantosstillatlarge,theICCwastakingitstime,waiting.U.N.officialsknewas

wellastherebelsthathewouldnotgodownwithoutafight.

Springdriftedintosummer.Thedaysgotwarmer.Afewrecruitstrickledin.TheU.N.offeredtheir

officialsupport,andwouldsendpeacekeepersifnecessary.Canada,Mexico,andtheUnitedKingdomall

hadresidentadvisorsonthebase,withscoresofothernationswillingtoprovideweaponsorwarm

bodiesiftheirranksbecamedepleted.Butifthatweretohappen,itwouldmeantheyhadsustainedheavy

casualties.Carolinedidn’twanttothinkaboutthat.

Hernightmaresreturned,lessfrequentlythanbefore,butmoreintense.Aftercompletingbasic

training,Margueritewasassignedtoapublicrelationsunitandconstantlyharanguedhermotherabout

beingtransferredtoamoresubstantialassignment.Sophiewaslosingsleepandhadmovedinwith

Christineinlieuofstayingwithhersister.

Carolineknewthatthingswouldgetworse,thateverythingcouldchangeinasplitsecondandthey’d

beleftwonderingifanythingtheyknewwastrue.Shealreadyfeltlikeshe’dbeenlivinginanalternate

universethepasttwoyears;thatmaybeifshegotjustonegoodnight’ssleep,she’dwakeupandall

wouldbewell.

She’dtellherfriendsaboutherentirelyvividandincrediblydisturbingdreamandthey’dallsay,as

ifthatcouldhappen.Asifatotalitariancouldexactcontroloveranentirecountry.AsifAmericawould

willinglybeleddownadarkroad.Asifademagoguewithnastyvaluesandanevennastiertemperament

wouldbeallowedtowalkthehallowedhallsofWashington,smashingeverybitoftherepublicashe

went.No,they’dsay.Itcan’thappenhere.Itwon’t.Wewouldneverallowit.We’rebetterthanthis.

Exceptsheknewtheyweren’t.Howdidyougetthatspiritback?Eveniftherevolutionarieswon,

howmuchharmhadbeendone?Youcoulddamageapreciousheirloombutitwouldneverberestoredto

itspreviouscondition.CarolineoftenthoughtabouttheJapaneseartofKinsugi,ofrepairingbroken

ceramicsorpotterywithalacquermadepartlyofgoldorplatinum.Thegoalwasnottorenderthepiece

thesameasitwas,buttoincorporatethedamageandappreciatethehistoryoftheobject.The

imperfectionswerenevermeanttobedisguisedorhidden.Theywerepartofwhatmadetheceramic

strong.

Democracywasmessy.Difficult.Frustrating.AndAmericahadalwaysbeenimperfect.Asongin

searchoftheperfectnotewhensooftenthemelodywentflat.Itsgrandidealshadoftenbeensacrificedat

thealtarofavarice,greed,andself-interest,butsomehowitscitizenskeptgoing.Believinginthatdream.

Believingtheshiningcityonthehillcouldactuallybebuilt.Believingdespiteitsflaws,despiteitserrors,

despiteitsinjusticesandinequalities,thegreatAmericanexperimentwouldfinditswayhome.Maybe

thatwashowtogetthrough.Tolearnfromthelessons,knowingdamnwellitcouldhappenandwould

likelyhappenagain.

Butshewasgettingaheadofherself.Shewasatthefootofthebridge,waitingtocrosswithno

knowledgeofwhatwasontheotherside.Shehopedtohellthatwhenshegotthere,she’dhavethe

strengthtohandlewhatevershewasgiven.Hercracks,herimperfections,herdamagemadeherstrong.

Andshewasdamnwellreadytousethatstrength.Butfirstshehadtorunanotherbriefing.

“What’sthegoodword,gentlemen?”sheasked,noddingatChristine.“Andlady,ofcourse.”

Christineshookherhead.“Yousaythatateverymeeting.Don’tyougettiredofit?”

Carolinetooktheseatnexttoher.“NotwhenIfirmlybelievethatsomeday,someonewillactually

givemethegoodword.Givemethescoop,Flaherty.”

“IthinkweshouldhearfromColonelEastmanfirst,”Jacksaid.“It’smyunderstandinghehas

uncoveredsome…unsettlinginformation.”

JackseemedtoalreadyknowwhatEastmanwasgoingtosay.Whyhadn’tshebeentold?Eastman

wastheirCanadianliaison,thoughhewasalsoassignedtoaU.N.Peacekeepingunit.Usuallythetwoof

themmetwithhimtogether,alongwithChristine.Carolineshotheraglance.Basedonherexpression,she

didn’tknoweither.Strange.

Eastmanscrolledthroughhisphone.“Ihaveanumberofdocumentssavedtoaflashdriveand

encryptedforsafety,butI’llgiveyouthebasics.I’vebeenabletoconferwithmycolleaguesinCanada

andotherPeacekeepermembernations.Unfortunately,CommanderGerard,PresidentSantosknowsyou

arealive.”

Nosurprisethere.Theonlyshockingpartwasthatitappearedtohavetakensolongforhimtopiece

ittogether.“And?”

“Americanmediahaslatchedontothestory.Coveragehasnotbeenpositive.Santoshassuccessfully

manipulatedtheprintpressandbroadcasttelevisionintoreportingwhathewantsthemtoreport.

Blackmailingthemintofavorabletreatment.Restrictingaccess,decliningtohavepressconferences,

issuingstatementsviavideoorthroughsurrogates.”

“JackandIwerealwaysportrayedastraitors,”Carolinesaid.“Noneofthisisnew.”

EastmanglancedoveratJack,justforasecond,beforestaringdownathisphone.“Santoshasmade

someincreasinglyunstablecomments,commentsthatarenowregardedasunremarkablebymostmembers

ofthepresscorps.They’veessentiallynormalizedhisbehavior.Ican’texplainhowithappened-”

“Ican,”Christinebrokein.“Whydon’tIloanyoumycopyofTheRiseandFalloftheThird

Reich?”

“There’snoneedtobesnippy,”Jacksaid.“He’ssimplytryingtoinformusofwhathe’sbeenableto

uncover.Pleaselisten.”

Hewasn’tconfrontational.Accusatory.Infact,herhusbandseemedalmost…defeated.Finished.

Done.

Fuckinghell.

“Pleasegoon,”Carolinesaid.

“SantosknowsabouttheInternationalCriminalCourt.Aboutyourtestimony.AlthoughIcannot

independentlyconfirm,weconsideritlikelythathehasspokenwithJeffreyMurdock.Soheknows

there’sawarrantforhisarrest.”

“Good,”Christinesaid.“Maybesomeoneshouldtakehimintocustody.”

“It’snotthatsimple,”Eastmansaid.“There’smore.Severaldaysago,Santoswentonnetwork

television.Gavealongimpassionedspeechaboutloveofcountry.Howothersmaynotsharethat

affection.HetoldviewersabouttheICCprosecution.Abouthowyouwerealive.Abouthowyou

perjuredyourselfinfrontofacourtwithnojurisdictionoverAmericancitizens,allsoyoucouldescape

responsibilityforyourowncrimes.”

“ThatlogicissoflawedIdon’tevenknowwheretobegin,”Christinesaid.

“That’snotall.”Eastmanhesitated,forfartoolong.“Hethenrequestedthatyoubearrestedand

broughttoWashingtontofacetreasoncharges.Inotherwords,he’sclaimingyouwereheldatTheFedfor

alegitimatereasonandaretryingtolieyourwayoutofit.”

PerhapsChristineexpectedCarolinetolosehertemper.Toflyoffthehandle,togooffononeofher

self-righteoustiradesthatwasmoreimpassionedspeechthanpracticalaction.Butsheremainedcalm.

“Thiswasseveraldaysago.What’shappeningnow?”Carolineasked.“Howhasthepublicreacted?”

“Peoplehavebeenconditionedtobelievewhathesays.Totakeitasfact.Asright.Asproper.The

truthnolongerexists.There’stoomuchpropaganda,toomanyfakestories,toomuchconfusion,distrust,

andcynicism.SantoshasprojectedhimselfastheOneTrueHope,theonlypersoninWashingtonwhocan

bedependedontodotherightthing.”

“That’sridiculous,”Christinesaid.“Whowouldbelievethat?”

“MillionsofAmericans.Sincehemadehisannouncement,therehavebeenanumberofspontaneous

demonstrationsinmajorcities.”Eastmanturnedhisphoneoff,shovingitinhispocket.Apparentlyhe

didn’twanttolookatitanymore.“AlloftheseprotestershaveexpressedastrongdesireforCommander

Gerardtobetakenintocustody.”

“Thisisludicrous,”Christinesaidhotly.“Icannotbelievewe’reentertainingthispileofexcrement.

Let’smoveontosomethingwecanactuallyuse.”

Exceptmaybethatwasexactlywhattheyhad.“He’sadvertisingthathewantsmetobearrested,turn

myselfin,what?”Carolineasked.

“Itdoesn’tmatter,”Christinesaid.“Becausewe’renotdoingit.”

Shit.WasCarolinegoingtohavetoplaytheauthoritycard?Ah,well.Shewasreadytofaceany

blowback.“SenatorSullivan,withallduerespect,I’mtheonerunningthisbriefing.I’daskyoutoreserve

youreditorializinguntilthemeetingiscomplete.”

Christinemadeanobscenegestureandleanedbackinherchair.“Whatever.”

“WhatdoesSantoswant?”Carolinerepeated.

Eastmantuggedatthenecklineofhiscollareduniformshirt.“Idon’tthinkhecares.Hewantsyouin

custody,assoonaspossible.Hissycophantshavebackedhimup.”

“Doweknowiftheprotestsarelegit?”

“Thedistinctionisirrelevant.They’reoccurring,they’vegottenpress,andthenarrativehasbeen

written.”

Inotherwords,post-truthAmericadidn’tcareforfacts.“Mygooseiscooked,”shesaid.“Ourgoose

iscooked.”

“Notquite.”FlahertyturnedtoJack.“Sir?”

“Shareyourintel,”Jacksaid.

“WhileColonelEastmanhasbeenaccumulatingdatafromhissources,I’vebeenreceiving

informationfromdirectlyinsidetheWhiteHouse.It’sgoodorbad,dependingonyourperspective.Santos

hasdelegatedmostofthedetailsofdaytodaygovernancetostafferswhosharehisviews.Hewantedthe

powerbutnottheresponsibility.He’sfeelingtheheat,buthe’sstillpredictable.He’salwayshadafew

knowntriggers.”Flahertypaused.“I’msurenoneofthiswillsurpriseyou,butanexhaustive,detailed

accountofourintelseemsappropriate.”

“Understood,Major,”Jacksaid.“Pleasecontinue.”

“Santosisanarcissist.Asociopath.Heisaterriblypettyman,whichmeansthatheirrationally

focusesonsmallissues.Perceivedenemies.OneofhisbiggesttriggersisCommanderGerard.”

Carolineliftedherheadup.Sure,she’dbeenarrested.Sure,she’dbeentortured.Sure,shewas

PublicEnemy#1butstill…“Me?”

“Heholdspermanentgrudgesagainstpeoplewhodisagreewithhim.Aboutslightsthatdon’treally

exist.Rumorishehasa‘revenge’list,detailingpeoplewhohavegoneagainsthimorwrongedhimin

someway.Hehasalwaysbeendeterminedtoexactvengeanceonthosepeople.It’sthereasonsomany

prominentpoliticiansendedupatTheFed.”

“Whatexactlyareyoutryingtosay?”Jackasked.

“He’sbeenobsessedwithherforyears.I’mnotsurewhatcausedthis…situationbutitonly

intensifiedastimepassed.Evenifyouhadn’tfoughtagainsthisadministration,youwerealwaysgoingto

beamark.He’dintendedtorecruityoufromthebeginningandifthatdidn’twork,ashesuspected,you

weretobeeliminated.You’vealwaysbeenathreattohisambition,andyourpartnershipwith

CommanderMcIntyrestrengthenedyourabilitytodamagehim.”

Carolineheldupherhands.“Thatmakesnosense.Whyme?IbarelyknewhimwhenIwasin

Congress.”

“You’refemale.You’relikable.You’reearnest.Peopletrustyou.Santoshasneverhadthatkindof

reputation.He’sgottenbyonhalf-truths,misinformation,propaganda.He’sneverbeenabletoconnect

withpeopleusinganythingotherthanhateormanipulation.Anyonewhocancounterthatkindofapproach

anddoitsuccessfullyisverydangerousindeed.”

“I’mnottheonlypersonwho’scapableofdoingthat.”

“Thatdoesn’tmatter.Hisminddoesn’tprocessthingsthatway.Youalwayshadatargetonyour

back.It’swhyyouweretreatedsoharshlyatTheFed.”Heshuffledsomeofthepapersinhishands.“He

wentballisticwhenhewasinformedyouwerestillalive.Heheldoutyourtortureanddeathasoneofhis

ultimatetriumphs.Andhecan’tletthatgo.Youslippedthroughhisfingers.Yougotthebetterofhim.He

can’tstandtolose,especiallytoawomanheviewsashisinferior.”

Jacksnorted.“Carolinecouldwhiphiminanyconceivablecategory.He’sclearlyunbalanced.”

“Heis,”Flahertyagreed.“Andhisvolatilityisincreasing.Althoughhisstaffersaredoingthedirty

work,hisparanoiahaskickedin,fullforce.Therearemaybetwoorthreepeopleinhisinnercirclehe

trusts,whichmeanshegotonethingrightsincewehavemultiplespiesontheinside.”

“Howcanwecapitalizeonthat?”Carolineasked.

“Wehavetodosomething,andquickly.Heknowstheinternationalcommunitycan’tstanddown

muchlonger.Somethinghastogive.He’spetulantandimmature,whichcouldmanifestitselfindisastrous

consequencesfortheentireworld.”FlahertylookedCarolineintheeye.“He’sobsessedwiththefactthat

youarestillalive.Imaginehowhemightrespondtotheopportunitytorightaperceivedwrong.”

Sheknewwherehewasgoing.DidJack?“Howmanypeopledowehaveontheinside?”

“Adecentnumber.”

“Cantheybetrustedtoturnwhenthetimeisright?”

“Mostdefinitely.”

“Whatabouttheotherforces?Canada,theU.N.,NATO?”

“Abletomobilizeonshortnotice.”

CarolineturnedbacktoEastman.“WhatdothePeacekeepersthinkofallofthis?”

“Well-”HelookedjustasuncomfortableasFlaherty.“TheICCwouldobviouslypreferhebeplaced

underarrest.Butweallknow-”

Killorbekilled.Yeah,sheknew.“Anychancewecouldstrikewiththosetroopswithoutturning

myselfin?”sheaskedFlaherty.

Heloweredhishead.“Isupposethere’sachance,but-”

Hedidn’tneedtosayit.Theycouldtry,butafocusedSantosmeantanequallyunhingedSantos.What

anodddichotomy.Whereasadistraction,say,fromawomanhe’dbeenitchingtoconfrontfacetoface…

thatmightgivethemtimetoinfiltratethegovernmentwithminimalcasualties.

“Well,”Carolinesaid.“Whatexactlyisitthatweneedtodo?”

“Youknowwhatweneedtodo,ma’am,”hesaidquietly.

Sheknew.Heknew.JackandChristinehadtoknow.Theentireroomwassilent.

“Turningmeoverwouldgetusinthesameroomwithhim,”Carolinesaid.

Finally,Jackreacted.“That’sanawfullybigriskforsomethingthatmightnothappen.It’snotworth

it.”

Itsureashellsoundedlikeitwasworthittoher.“Whynot?Itmightbeourbestchancetotakehim

out.”

“Youthinkhewon’tbeanticipatingthat?”

“Whatifheis?Wemaynotgetanotheropportunitylikethis.YouheardKeith.He’sparanoid.

Singularlyfocused.Doesn’ttrustanyone.Thatmeanshe’salmostcompletelyisolated,whichmakeshim

vulnerable.Heknowshistimeisshort.Heknowsthiscan’tlastforever.Whynotdosomethingbeforehe

engagesinbehaviorthatendangerstheentireworld?Surelyourexpertscancomeupwithsomesortof

plantominimizethedamage.”

“Thedamage?”Jackclenchedhisteeth.“It.Is.Not.Worth.You.”

Caroline’sbiggestallywassteamedoff,butsurelyshecouldbetrustedtobeobjectivewhenthetime

wasright.“Chrissy?”

Christineshovedawayfromherchairandstompedoutoftheroom.

“Nice,”Jacksaid.“Happynow?”

“No,”Carolinesnapped.“I’mnot.Andneitherareyou.We’resittingherethreethousandmilesfrom

home,ourhome,ourkids’home,becausewe’rewaitingfortherighttimetotakethatbastardout.The

timeisnow.”

“Itmightnotwork,”Jacksaid.

“Wehavetotry.”

“Wearenotsettingatrapforarabiddogwhenyou’rethegoddamnbait.”

“I’mtired,Jack.We’realltired.Iwanttogohome.IwanttogobacktotheAmericaIbelievedin.

TheAmericaInevergaveupon.We’vetakenafewstepsbackbutthatdoesn’tmeanwecan’tstart

marchingforwardagain.AmericanexceptionalismhasneverbeenwhatpeoplelikeSantosandhis

cronieswantedittobe.Itwasn’tabout‘othering,’aboutscapegoatinganddiscordandtramplingover

otherstogettothetop.Itwasthebeautyofourdiversity,thepowerofcommunity,theloveradiatingfrom

neighborsandfriendswheneveramomentofcrisisarrived.Ourabilitytofindconsensusinaseaof

disagreement.Ourempathyandwillingnesstosay,‘Teachme.Idon’tunderstandbutI’mwillingtolearn.’

We’velostthatandweneedtogetitback.ButtheAmericadescribedbysomanybrilliantartists–the

unfinishedsymphony,thebeaconoflight,thatgreatpromiseoffreedomanddemocracy–wecan’tletgo

ofthat.It’sgreaterthanitself.Itcanbeachievedifgoodpeoplearewillingtostandupforwhat’sright.”

Carolinesniffled.“AndIrefusetoletitgo.SoI’lldomypart.I’llgivemyselfup.”

“Sweetheart-”

Ifhewasdroppingtermsofendearmentduringabriefing,Jackwasnolongerthecommander.He

washerhusband.Andshecouldn’tletherhusbandswaytheiradvisors.Theycouldbeobjectivewhen

facedwithatrulydifficultdecision.“Keith,whatwouldhappenifIturnedmyselfin?”

Oh,thatwasaquestionheclearlydidn’twanttoanswer.“Ouragentswouldturn.Coordinatewith

whoeverwehadontheoutside.Foreignallieswouldbeattheready.”

Thatwasawholelotofhopeandnotalotofcertainty.Inotherwords,shewasasgoodasdead.

“Areweabletomanipulatethesituation?”

Hesmiled,justalittle.“CommanderGerard,I’mdisappointedyouhadtoask.”

Maybethingsweren’tquitesobleak.Assheshotglancesattherestoftheadvisorsintheroom,she

realizedtheycouldmakethechoicewithoutherinput,thoughtheydesiredit.Theywouldn’tneedherto

stayaway.Andyet…shewasn’tsureshewantedtobeprivytothatdiscussion.Thepoliticalbecame

considerablylesspersonalwhenthetopicofdiscussionwasn’tsittingrightinfrontofthedecision

makers.“Itrustyoutofiguresomethingout.Iassumeit’seasierifI’mnotintheroom?”

Hesobered.“Yes,ma’am.”

“Well,then.”Adrenalinehadgottenherthroughthemeetingandnowshewasdealingwiththeguilty

fallout.“IneedtocheckonSenatorSullivan.”

JackwatchedCarolineleave.Shewassmart.Sherecognizedshewasn’tmeanttobeintheroomfor

substantivediscussionsaboutwhatshe’djustofferedtodo.Heknewherposition,butultimatelyitwas

nothersoledecisiontomake.

“Well,”hesaid.“Thatescalatedquickly.”

“I’msorry,Commander.”FlahertycockedhisheadatEastman.“Perhapswecouldhaveplannedthat

better.”

Eastmanhadconfidedinhimearlierintheday.Ithadbeenahellofaburdentobear.Unfortunately

Flahertyhadn’tgivenhimquiteasmuchofaheadsup.Butnowallthecardswereonthetable.“Iguess

wehavetomakeadecision,”Jacksaid.

“Youdo,sir.”Schroederspokefromthefarendofthetable.Funny.Jackhadforgottenhewasthere.

Hisentirecadreofadvisorswasintheroom,buthisintellectualandemotionalfocushadremainedon

Carolineforthedurationofthemeeting.

“No,”Jacksaid.“AllofyouareinthisroombecauseItrustyouandyourjudgment.Youknowwhat

mydecisionwouldbe.IsuspectIknowwhatyourswouldbeaswell,ifbasedsolelyonemotion.But

Carolineisright.We’renotdealingwithjustoneperson.Thisismuch,muchbigger.”

Flahertyleanedforward.“Sir,Idon’t-”

Fuck.ItwasworsethanhethoughtifKeithwasobservingformalities.“Forgetyouknowher,”Jack

said.“Forgetyouknowme.Forgetyoulikeus.Whatwouldyoudo?”

“I’dsendherin,”hesaid.

Jackstillhadvetopower.Andhewasstillinclinedtosayno.Buthewantedtohaveallthe

informationbeforehemadeadecision.BeforeCarolinedid.“Idon’tcarewhatittakes,Idon’tcare

who’sinvolved.I’lldowhateverIneedtodotoprotecther.Let’sfigureoutawaytokeepheraliveuntil

wecangetinthere.”

ChapterTwenty-Three

“Thanksforfittingmein,”Jacksaid.“Thegirlswillbehereinafewminutes.”

“AtherapysessionwithoutCaroline?”Natalieasked.“Whatgives?”

“Wehadameetingtoday.Heavyintel.Decisionsweremade.”Godhelphim,hefeltguiltyenough

aboutwhathehadtotellNatalie.Hefeltevenworseshewasn’tatthemeetingtobeginwith.“Wehavea

waytoendthis.”

HegavehertherundownonSantos,thediscussionbetweenhimandhisadvisors,Carolineand

Christine’sreactions.Nataliedidn’tsaymuch,justclosedhereyesonceortwice.

“Seemsprettystraightforwardtome,”shesaid.“Why’dyouneedtotalk?”

“Isitthatstraightforward?Becauseitseemsalittlefuckeduptome.”

Shesmiledgrimly.“Straightforwardandfuckeduparenotmutuallyexclusive.”

Thedoctordidn’tknowthehalfofit.“We’vegotawaytogetherout.Agoodone,Ithink.Itrust

Carolinetokeepherheadifshe’ssentin.Itrustourmenontheinside.Itrusttherescuesquadtogether.I

just-”

“Don’ttrustSantos?”

“Ofcoursenot.Idon’ttrustreality,either.”

“Norshouldyou.Doyouhavecontingencyplans,backups,thatsortofthing?Ifsomethinggoes

wrongareyourmenreadytodowhateverittakestoachievetheprimarygoal?”

Aretheywillingtoblastthroughcountlessotherpeopletogettomywife?“Yes,”hesaid.“They

knowwhattheyneedtodo.Thealternativeistooawfultoimagine.”

“HaveyouconsideredsendingasmallbattalionwithouttransferringCarolineintogovernmental

custody?”

Wassheplayingdevil’sadvocateortryingtotalkhimoutoftheplan?Hecouldn’ttell.Sheseemed

tounderstandit,seemedtofinditrational.Buttherewassomethingmissing.“Wehave.Webelieveifwe

weretodothat,Santoswouldreactirrationally.”

“He’llreactirrationallytoCarolineaswell.”

“Iknow.”

“Butthere’sadifference,”Nataliesaid.“Themanisderanged.Santosshouldn’tbeallowedaccess

toaTwitteraccountoracombinationlock,letalonetheOvalOffice.Narcissistsaremoremalleablethan

youthink.He’seasilydistractedbyshinythings.”

“AndCarolineishisshinything?”

“Forreasonsinexplicabletoanyonecapableoflogicalandreasonablethought,yes.”

Jackrubbedhisforehead.“I’mterrifiedthiswon’twork.Maybeweshouldgoinandblastthe

place.”

“Thenyou’druntheriskofSantoscausinganuclearwinter.Inthisscenarioyouhaveadecentchance

ofgettingthevastmajorityofAmericans,andtherestoftheworld,outalive.”

“Whatifhe’sbringinghertherejusttowitnessthedestructionoftheworld?”

“Idon’tthinkthat’sonthetable,”Nataliesaid.“Youhavetothinklikeasociopathhere.”

“I’dprefernot.”

“Okay.”Shecrackedherknuckles.“I’llentertainyourscenario.ButfirstI’mgoingtogiveyoumy

personalanalysisofPresidentSantos.Hethinkshe’smoreimportantthanheis.Hefantasizesabout

powerandsuccess.Hemanipulatesotherstogetwhathewants.He’senviousofotherswhileatthesame

timebelievingthatothersenvyhim.Hehasnoempathy.Heisarrogant.Heseeksadmiration.Heexpects

everyonetobowtohimandhisrequests.”

“Soundslikeatypicalpolitician,”Jacksaid.

“It’smorecomplicatedthanthat.Politiciansareinsecure,havelargeegos,andyes,areoften

magneticanddynamicenoughtobendotherstotheirpointofview.Santosisanexampleofwhenthose

traitscrossoverintonarcissisticpersonalitydisorder.”

“Isthataformaldiagnosis?”

“AsformalasIcangetwithoutmeetingthemanpersonally,whichIreallydon’twanttodo.Let’s

returntoyourhypothetical.SantoswantsCarolineintheWhiteHousesohecanblowuptheworld,

includingher.Hehasthecodesreadytolaunchandwantshertopushthebuttonorsomethingridiculous.

Sohe’sdoingallofthisoutofhishatredforher-”

“Andhisdesiretoresistarrestforcrimesagainsthumanity,”Jackadded.

“We’llgettothat.RememberthesymptomsIjustdescribed.Yes,he’sdisturbed.Yes,heshouldn’tbe

allowedaccesstoheavyweaponry.Butwhensomeoneorsomethinggetshimriledup,he’snotthinkingof

thebigpicture,ofthescadsofresourcesavailabletohim.He’sfocusingonwhythatonepersonortopic

irkshimso.Whycan’thegether,orthem,orus,tounderstandthatwhathe’sdoingisbest?Itdriveshim

insanethattherearesomepeopleouttherewhodisagreewithhimbecauseinhismind,allofhispolicies

arefundamentallysoundandfair.He’dratherspendhourstryingtogetthosepeopletoseethelight,soto

speak.”

“Buthewantstokillher.”

“Hedoes.There’snodenyingthat.Butthinkaboutwhyhewantshertodie.That’syoursecret

weapon.Hisego.Hisself-centeredness.Hisinabilitytoseebeyondhisownnose.He’snotgoingtohave

thosenuclearcodesatthereadybecausehe’sgoingtobethinkingoffiftydifferentwaystomakeCaroline

suffer.”

Thatwasn’treallytheangleJackcaredtouse.“Canwefindanotherwaytophrasethat?”

Nataliepattedhisshoulder.“He’sgoingtobesodistractedthatshecandrivehimnutssimplyby

failingtoacquiesce.”

“Isuspectshemaybeabletodothat.Ratherwell.”

“Iagree.Iwantyoutoconsidersomethingelse.Santosdoesn’tunderstandself-sacrifice.Ofdoing

somethingwithoutexpectinganythinginreturn.Heviewsanysortofcapitulationasweakness,not

strength.Fortherebelliontoyieldtohisdemandsmeansyou’reessentiallygivingup.”

“Butwe’renot.”

“Bulliesoftenconsidercompassionandempathytobemoralinfirmities.Averydangerouspointof

view,inmyopinion.IfCarolinesurrenders,hemaythinkthat’stheendofit.Thatsinceshe’sgivingup,

therebelsareabandoningthecause.”

“That’sillogical,”Jacksaid.

“Youneedtostopexpectingunreasonablepeopletoactreasonably.I’mtellingyou,I’vegotareadon

thisguy.Youdotoo,otherwiseyouwouldn’tbetellingmeaboutthisplan.”

“Youthinkit’llwork?”

“HellifIknow.I’mnotacrapsdealer.I’mawannabepsychiatrist.Butyes,foryoursanityandmine,

ofcourseitwillwork.Perfectly.”

Wishfulthinkingwithatouchofdryhumor.Whenheheardtappingonthedoor,Jackstiffened.“The

girls.Ineedyoutohelpmeexplainittothem.BeforeCarolinedoes.”

“That’swhyI’mhere.”Natalieopenedthedoor.“Hi,guys.”

MargueritegreetedherandSophieinstantlygravitatedtowardJack.Hereturnedthehughewas

offered.“Hi,kiddo.”

“What’sgoingon?”Margueriteasked.

He’dimaginedhavingmanyconversationswithCaroline’sdaughters;neverthisone.Buthehadto

preparethemforwhatwastocome.“Weneedtotalk.”

TherewasachanceChristinewouldignoreavisitor.She’dknowwhoitwas.HopefullySophie

wasn’twithher.Carolinewasn’tquitereadytohavethatconversationyet.Sheknockedanyway.Senator

Sullivanwaspissed,butChrissywashurt.Carolinehopedshe’dgetChrissy.Shewasn’tsureshecould

handlethesenator.

Christineopenedthedooranddidn’tsayanything,motioningCarolinetositdownonthecouch.She

tooktheseatnexttoher,herhandsclenchedtightlyinherlap.

Besttolayitallout,onelineandoneconcerninsuccession.“IsNataliehidinginhere?OrMo?Ican

onlyhandleonepersonyellingatmeatatime.”

Christineletoutashortlaugh.“It’sjustme.SophieiswithMaggie.”

“Well,”Carolinesaid.“Sayit,then.”

Christinestaredatthewall.“Whydoesitalwayshavetobeyou?”

Sheoftenwonderedthesamething.Carolinereachedforherdefault–grim,slightlyfliphumor.“I

don’tknow.MaybeI’mtheheroineinsomeotherperson’ssoapopera.IhopeIhavemyownthemesong.”

“Beserious,”Christinesaid,butshemanagedasmallsmile.Itquicklyfaded.“Nevermind,youdon’t

needtoexplain.”

“Idon’t?”

“Weknewitwouldhavetoendwithsomethinglikethis.It’sselfishofmetotalkyououtofit.”

“Youstompedoutofthemeeting.”

“Iwasupset,”Christinesaid.“Iwasn’tgoingtoadvertisemydispleasuretoallthosemen,whostill

don’tgetit.”

Theydidn’t.Notcompletely.“Butyoudo,”Carolinesaidquietly.

“IthinkIdo.”ChristinepattedCaroline’shand.“Doesn’tmeanIcareforit.”

Doingtherightthingsuckedsometimes.“I’msorry.”

“Don’tapologizeforstandingupforwhatyoubelievein.”

“Doyouthinkit’stherightthingtodo?”

Christineexhaledharshly,afamiliargesturethatusuallymeantshewasfrustratedwithwhomever

hadthegalltoaskheraratherunnecessaryquestion.“Youwantmyobjectiveopinion?”

“Isitbetterthanthesubjectiveone?”

“Ifitwasanyoneotherthanyou,Iwouldtellthatpersontodoit.”

“Fallontheirsword?”

“Inamannerofspeaking.Icertainlyhopeitdoesnotcometothat.Ouralliesmayfindawaytoavoid

anunintendedoutcome.”

Meaning,avoidingmydeath.“Butsinceit’sme?”

Christinesankdownonthecouch.“Idon’twantyoutogo.”

Carolineputherarmaroundher.“Iknow.”

“Wehaven’thadnearlyenoughtimetogetherthistimearound,”shesaid.

“Iknowthattoo.”

“IneedtoaskyousomethingandIwantyoutotellmethetruth.Canyoudothat?”

“I’mnotsureIcouldlietoyou,Chrissy.”

“Doyouwanttodie?”

ChristinehadbeenspendingfartoomuchtimewithNatalie.Theyanalyzedeverything.“Nevereasy,

areyou?”Carolineasked.

“Notusually,no.”

“I’mnotwhoIwassixyearsago,I’lltellyouthatmuch.”

“You’renotwhoyouwereyesterday.Andyoudidn’tanswermyquestion.”

“Idon’twanttodie.”Notanymore,sheaddedsilently.

“Thenwhy?”

“Iwantyoutolive.Allofyou.IwantAmericatolive.”Carolinewrungherhands.“God,thatsounds

solame.Andcheesy.Idon’tevenknowwhatI’mtalkingabout.”

ChristineleanedherheadonCaroline’sshoulder.“Youknowexactlywhatyou’retalkingabout,andI

knowexactlywhatyoumean.”

“He’sdangerous,Chrissy.YouheardEastman.HeandFlahertybasicallytoldusthattheleaderofthe

freeworldisawalkingtimebomb.”

“Notsureit’ssofreeanymore.”

“That’smypoint.Givingmyselfupmightbetheonlywaytoendthisandminimizethedamage.”

“Youreallythinkthat?I’msurewecouldthinkofaplanthatdoesn’tinvolveyouasasacrificial

lamb.”

“Wecouldwait,”Carolineconceded.“Butnowwefinallyhaveawindow.Weneverwantedfull-

scalewar.Maybethere’sawayIcangetinthere,disarmsomeone-”

“Don’tberidiculous,Caroline.Ifyou’regoingtodothis,exercisesomecommonsense.Thereisno

wayanyonenearSantoswillletyouwithintenfeetofaweapon.Theyknowwhatyou’recapableof.”

Shehadapoint.Dammit.“Wecanfindawaytogetaweapontosomeoneelse.Someoneonthe

inside.Orwecanmobilizeourtroops,sneakin,andblowtheplacetobitsifwehaveto.”

“Oh,yes.Thatisdefinitelyawisecourseofaction.”

“Weknewitwouldn’tbeeasy.Thedamagewouldstillbeminimized.”

“Eitherwayyou’dprobablybegone,”Christinewhispered.

Carolinewouldn’tletherpsychegodownthatdarkroad.Notyet.“It’llworkout.You’llsee.”

“Yourglassisn’texactlyoverflowingonthisone,Punky.”

“IfIkeepsayingit,it’llhappen.”

“Youroptimismis…well,it’ssomething.”Christinestoodup.“IhavesomethingIwanttogiveyou.

Waithere.”

CarolinedrummedherfingernailsonherlegwaitingforChristinetoreturn.Ittooklongerthanshe

thoughtitwould.WhenChristinesatbackdownhereyeswerered.Carolineknewbetterthantomention

it.

Christineplacedaboxinherhand.“Openit.Iwanttoseeifyouknowwhatitis.”

Asilvermedalandchainlayinthebox.Animageofanarchangelintheactofspearingaserpent,

familiartoanycradleCatholic.“SaintMichael?”

“Patronoflawenforcement,”Christinesaid.

“Iknow.”

“Andthemilitary.”

“Iknowthattoo,Chrissy.Ididgotoparochialschoolfornineyears.Sixteenifyoucountcollegeand

lawschool.”

Christinechuckled.“Iwouldn’t.You’vetoldmetoomuchaboutwhatyoudidduringyouryearsat

NotreDame.”

“Wheredidyougetthis?”

“IhadBourgeoisgetitformebeforeweleft.”

“It’saspecialCanadianmedal?”

“StraightfromtheMountiestoyou,”Christinesaid.

Atouchinggift.Whatkindofforesightdidherbestfriendhave?“HowdidyouknowIwouldneed

this?”

“Doyoureallyexpectmetoanswerthatquestion?”

“I’mthatpredictable?”

“Youwouldnever,everaskotherpeopletomakeasacrificegreaterthanyours.It’snotinyourDNA.

Ifyouhadtheabilitytolaydownyourlifesonooneelsewouldsuffer,you’ddoitinaheartbeat.Iknew

you’dneedsomethinglikethis,nomatterwhatyouendedupdoingasthiscoldwarwenton.”Shetookthe

boxoutofCaroline’shand.“Tobesafe,Ithinkyoushouldputitonnow.I’mnottakinganydamnchances

withyou.Standup.”

Carolineliftedherhair,andChristinefastenedthechainaroundherneck.“SancteMichael,

praesidiummeum,sororbellator,”shewhispered.

Carolinetuckedthemedalunderhershirt.“Really,Chrissy?YouwhipouttheLatinbutsayFrenchis

pointless?”

Christinekissedhercheek.“Quiet.”

“Ican’tbelieveyouhassledmealltheseyearswhenyouspeakadeadlanguage.”

“It’snotdead.It’stimeless.”

Carolineinstinctivelypattedherchest,feelingthemedalagainstherskin.“Idoubtthisisnecessary.

I'mnotsureI'mCatholicanymore.”

Christineshrugged.“Iam.Andyou'retoonicetorejectagift,especiallyfromme.”

“Areyougoingtotellmewhatyoujustsaid?”

“SixteenyearsofCatholiceducationandyoudon’tspeaktheancienttongueofMotherChurch?”

Hadn’tshebeenpayingattention?“IwasbornafterVaticanII,asyouwere.”

Christinesmiledather.“I’mnottelling.You’lljusthavetowonder.”

“Canyougivemeahint?”

“No.That’sbetweenmeandSaintMichael.”

Carolinethrewherarmsaroundher.“Thankyou,”shewhispered.

Christinesniffedloudly.“Ican’tbelieveyou’redoingthisagain.You’reright.Yourlifeisareally

badsoapopera.”

“Orareallygoodone,”Carolinesaid.“IwanttowinaDaytimeEmmy.ThinkIhaveachance?”

“WeareclosetoHollywood.”Christinepulledawayfromher.“Makesureyoumakeitoutinablaze

ofglory,withthatsolidbackgroundmusicyoumentionedearlier.”

Chrissywasshaky,butshe’dgetby.Shealwaysdid.Sophiewouldbebacksoon.Carolinewould

needtodealwiththatissuelater.Butfornow…shehadtotalktoJack.

“WillyoubeokayifIleave?”sheasked.

“Yes.”

“Areyoulying?”

“Yes.”

“Doyouwantmetogetyousomebooze?”

“No,”Christinesaidsoftly.“Gohometoyourhusband.You’llhavetimeformelater.”

Sheabsolutelywould.Evenifshehadtomakealistofallthethingsshehadtosay,she’dgive

Chrissyallthetimeshewanted.“Iloveyou.”

Christinegulpedbackasob.“Iloveyoutoo.Go.I’llbefine.Ipromise.”

IfonlyCarolinecouldbelievethat.

Shecouldn’tfacethegirls.Notyet.MaybeJackwouldstaywithher.Helpherreassurethemthatthey

weremakingtheempatheticchoice.Thecorrectone.Shecouldwhipoutadecentutilitarianargumentbut

pragmatismrarelycarriedthedaywhenfeelingswereinvolved.Carolinecouldplan.Writethingsdown.

Sayallthethingssheneededtosay,evenifshe’dneverrunoutofthingstotell.Theywouldknow.They’d

allknow.

WithNickyithadbeensosudden.She’dbeenwoefullyunpreparedfortheaftermath,unawareofthe

manyregretsshe’dhave.Thehardlessonhadn’ttaughtheradamnthing.Hadshesaidpropergoodbyesto

Bob?ToEllie?ToJenandKatie?Wassuchathingevenpossible?

Carolineremainedtrappedinherthoughts,musclememoryandroutineguidingherfromChristine’s

apartmenttoherown.Maybeshepassedpeople,maybetheysaidsomething.WouldJackbehomeor

wouldhebealoneinhisofficewatchingthesunset,ponderinghisroleandhisdecisions?Sheneedn’t

worry,becausehewassittingonthecouchwhenshegothome,aglassofbourboninhishand.Naturally.

“Hi,”shesaidsoftly.

Hetiltedhisheadtowardtheseatnexttohim.Shedutifullysatdown,waitinganxiouslyduringthose

firstfewuneasymomentsuntilhebroughthisarmsaroundher.

“Hi,”heechoed.

“Longday.”

“Yeah.”

Maybetheycouldbreakoutfullsentencesafterhefinishedafewmoredrinks.“How’dthemeeting

go?”sheasked.

Hepolishedoffhisdrink.“Idon’twanttotalkaboutthatnow.Sitwithmeawhile.”

Classicavoidance.Itcouldn’tlastforever.Andsilentcontemplationcoupledwithaffectiondidn’t

seemsoawful.ItwascompletelydarkbythetimeJackspokeagain.

“Howaboutatwilighttriptothebeach?”

“Theactualbeach?Theoneafewmilesdowntheroadthatisn’tonthebase?”

“Wecantakeourbodyguards,”Jacksaid,thenwinkedather.“Iftheykeeptheirdistance.”

“AnglingtodoarecreationofthatsceneinFromHeretoEternity?”

“ThatsoundswonderfulbutIthoughtyou’dliketoseetheocean.Wecantakeawalk.Nobigdeal.”

Theonlythingmoredamagingthanwhentheysaidhorriblethingstoeachotherwaswhentheyflat-

outlied.Butshewouldhonorhisrequest.Therehadtobeamethodtohismadness.“Atasteoffreedom,”

shesaid.

“Yes.We’vebeencoopedupfortoolong.Youdeserveabreak.”

CarolinesentatexttoGig,givinghimthescoop.“Thenlet’sgo.”

Theystayedthereforhours.TruetoJack’splan,Gig,Crunch,andJonesiebarelygavethemasecond

glance,focusedmostlyonpatrollingtheedgeofthebeach.Almosttotalprivacy.Carolineranintothe

waterandalmostfelldown,andJacklaughed.Shepushedhiminandhepulledherwithhim,andthey

weresoaked.Shechasedhimacrossthedunesandtheyendedupcoveredinsand.Neveroncedidthey

touchthethirdrail.Thedreadeddiscussion.Itwouldhavetohappeneventually.Buttherewasa

heavinessthere,theconstantdripofdreadthathungoneverywordtheyuttered.Theweightofthe

inevitable.Thetwoofthemhadn’tabandonedtheirpoliticalrootscompletely,becausetheyweredamn

goodatduckinganddodging.

Jackbrushedthesandoffherback,andsheturnedaround.“That’salostcause,darling.”

“Ihavetotryanyway.Don’twanttomessuptheJeep.”

Hehatedborrowingthevehiclesonthebase.Ifithadbeensunnyout,hewouldhavesuggestedthey

walk.“Whydoyoucare?”

“Oldhabitsdiehard,Iguess.”Hepulledhertohim.“Iwanttotellyousomething.”

Hisvoicehadchanged,andnotinagoodway.“Whatisit?”

“Icamehere,”hesaidsoftly.“Thisveryspot,rightafterIarrivedonthebase.Atnight.Nooneknew

Iwashere.”

Thatsoundedominous.“Why?”

Heclosedhiseyes.“Imissedyousofuckingmuch.SoIcamehereto…Idon’tknow.Findpeace?

Understand?Ihadmygunwithme,and-”Hisvoicebroke.

Definitelyominous.Theprotectiveglassaroundthealarmwasshattered.“Whatwereyougoingto

do,Jack?”

“IthoughtabouthowmuchIwantedtoseeyouagain.They’dbroughtusthoserecordsadayortwo

earlierandIknew–Ithoughtyouhadn’tmadeit,andI-”

Shehuggedhim.“Oh,Monty.”

“Ithrewthegunintotheoceantoberidofit,butitwasn’tenough.Iimaginedwadingintothewater

and…lettingittakemeaway.”

Shewassurprisedhehadn’tcomplained,shewasholdingontohimsotightly.“Iwouldhavedonethe

samething,inyourshoes.”

Hewasn’tlettinggoofher.Hejuststaredoutatthewater,relivingthatpainfulmoment.Wasthatwhy

hehadinsistedtheygotothebeach?Sohecouldwallowinhismiserybeforetheybothduganeven

deeperhole?Theirweakattemptatdatenighthadn’tturnedoutnearlyasromanticallyasCarolinehad

hoped.Shedidn’tlikewherethisconversationwasheaded.

“Iattemptedtoclearmyhead,listentothewavescrashingagainsttherocks,trymydamndestto

figureoutwhatthefuckIwasdoing.”Hekickedatthesand.“AndIwept.Inthedark.Alone.Whenthe

sunstartedtoriseIwentbacktomyapartmentandcurleduponthecouch,wishingI’ddoneamillion

thingsdifferently.”

Carolineranherhandsthroughhishair.“Monty-”

“Istillhadyourgun.Icouldn’ttossit.Isawthoseinitialsetchedintothebottomanditwasonemore

pieceofyouIcouldn’tquiteletgo.Iwantedtobewithyou,sobadly.Iknewtherewasonlyonewayto

doit.”

“Stop,Jack,”shewhispered.

Heloweredhisheadandfinally,finallyputhisarmsaroundher.“I’msosorry,sweetheart.”

“Youhavenothingtoapologizefor.”

“Isatthereforhours,holdingyourguninmyhands.Testingitsweight.ImissedyousomuchandI-”

Shedidn’twanthimtosayit.He’dsufferedenough.“Don’t.”Carolineputherfingerstohislips.

“Whatstoppedyou?”

“Natalieknockedonthedoor.”

“Iguessthat’sanotheroneIoweherfor.”

Hepulledaway,eversoslightly,hiseyesdriftingtowardthewater.Hekepthisarmaroundher,

squeezinghershoulderoccasionally.Carolineleanedincloseranddidn’tspeak.

“We’vebeenthroughalot,youandI,”Jacksaidquietly.

“Yeah.”

“Andthegirls,andChristine.Allofus.We’vemadeoursacrifices,borneourburdens,comeoutthe

bestwecould.”

Carolinesniffled,nodding.

“Madealotoftoughdecisions.”

Wherewashegoingwiththis?Wasshesupposedtorespond?Sheleanedincloser.

“We’vemadethosedecisions,butwecanwalkawayfromthemifwewant.Ifyouwant.”

Wouldthatbetheproperthingtodo?Walkaway?Theyhadsacrificedalot;maybeitwastimefor

someoneelsetotaketherisk.Whatwoulditmeaniftheydid?Whatexamplewouldbesetifthey

abandonedthecause?“Icanwalkaway,”shewhispered.

Jackswepthisthumbacrosshercheek.“No.Youknowyoucan’t.Youhavetogo.It’stherightthing

todo.”

“Ithoughtyousaidthisstrugglewasn’tworthriskingme.”

“IknowdamnwellwhatIsaidandyouknowdamnwellwhyIsaidit.”

“Jack-”

“Caroline,you’vedonesomuch.Maybetoomuch.YouaretrulythemostcourageouswomanIhave

evermet.Thatisn’tlipservice.Imeanit.Youknowinyourheartthatifyoudon’tdothis,you’llregretit.

Youdon’twanttospendyourwholelifelookingoveryourshoulder,wonderingifyoucanevermoveon,

holdingontohopethatsomedayyoucangobackhome.Thisisbiggerthanpolitics,biggerthan

democracy,biggerthanus.”

“ButChrissyandthegirls-”

“They’llunderstand.”Hekissedherforehead.“Iloveyou,Caroline.SogoddamnmuchIcan’teven

wrapmyheadaroundit.IloveyouenoughtoletyougoifIhaveto.Tomaketheworldsafeforour

children,forourgrandchildren.BecauseIknowyou’retoughenoughtodoit.”

Allofheruncertaintyboiledover.She’dtalkedagoodtalk.Pretendedshewasn’tcompletely

terrified.Actedlikeitwasnobigdeal,thatitwasaneasydecisiontomakeindefenseoffreedom.

Tellingherselfthestandardline,thekindshe’doftenspoutinspeeches.Valorouspeoplealways

answeredthecalltosacrifice.Todolesswouldbetobetrayhervaluesinthemostcallouswaypossible.

Onandon…exceptshe’ddoneitsomanydamntimesshewasn’tsureshehadanygasleftinhertank.

Carolinestartedtocry.“Idon’tknowifwe’remakingtherightchoice.”

Jacktippedherchinup.“It’snotaboutchoices.DemocracyisthelifebloodofAmerica.Andyou

believeinthesystem,enoughtodefenditdowntoyourverylastbreath.Allofyourideals,yourhopes

anddreams…theyceasetomatterifyouabandontheminyourdarkesthour.Wehavetoseethisthroughto

theend.”

“Andifwefail?”

“Thisisourbestshot,sweetheart.Wehavetotakeit.”

We.Notyou.Asubtledifference,butanimportantone.“It’sahellofachance,”Carolinesaid.

“Puttingmyselfouttherelikethat.”

“It’sasacrifice,”Jacknoted.“OneIdon’twanttomake.”

Maybesomesacrificeswereworththerisk.“Thiswillenditeitherway.”

Hepickedupahandfulofsand.“OuradvisorsandIwereabletohashalotofthingsoutafteryou

left.”

Herhusbandwasgoingtobreakhimselfopenevenmoreandshedidn’twanttostophim.“Inagood

way?”

“Avotewastakenbutwehavevetopower.”

“Theresults?”

“Youknowtheresults.Let’snotfooleachotherintothinkingweliveinaworldofpuppiesand

lollipops.Thosemencareaboutyoubuttheyrespectyoumore.”

Itmusthavebeenunanimous.Interesting.“Wasthereahealthydebate?”

“MostlyabouthowtogetyououtofWashingtonwithoutanyonegettingkilled.”

“Isthatpossible?”

“We’veplanneditwell.Ourallieswillhelpwithprotectingandpreservingvitalavenuesof

commerceandtransportation.We’llsmuggleafewtroopsintobackyouup.Ourwindowisnarrow,so

we’regoingtothrowitallatthewall.”

Therewerealotofuncertainties.Alotofhope.Andnotalotofdetails.Hopefullyhe’dclueherin

oncethingsweresolidified.Buttheyhadlegitimatehelp,experiencedmilitaryleadersbothforeignand

domestic.Carolinetrustedtheirjudgment.

“Wecanmakeitwork,”shesaid.“They’llgetmeout.”

“Ihaveeveryconfidencetheywill.”

Shetriednottolethervoiceshake.Ifthiswasreallygoingtohappen,she’dneedeveryounceof

courage.“Youdon’treallywantmetogo,doyou?”

“No.Idonot.Iamgoingtodoeverydamnthinginmypowertomakesureyougetbackinone

piece.”

“Weneedtotalktothegirls.”

“IthinkyoushouldtalktoMargueritefirst.Sophie’sabitmoredifficult.Moismatureenoughto

handlealittlemorenuanceddiscussion.”

He’dphrasedhisresponsethatwayonpurpose.“I’mflyingsoloonthisone?”

“Yes.It’snotmyplace,sweetheart.”

Butyou’llbealltheyhaveif–Shedidn’twanttocompletethatthought.“Areyousure?Youknow

howtheyfeelaboutyou.”

“AndtheyknowhowIfeelaboutthem.YouandMargueritehavediscussedtheroughstuffbefore.It’s

betterifyouhandleityourself.Wecansitdownasafamilyafterward.”

Hewasn’tsayingthatasacopout.Itwasasubtleshowofadmiration,anodtoherbondwithher

children.“Okay,”shesaid,brushingthesandoffherhands.“Let’sgohome.”

“Thisisalot,”Margueritesaid,takingasipofcoffee.

“Youdon’tsoundterriblysurprised.”

“Comeon,mom.Youdroppedbybeforethesunevencameup.Whateveryoutoldmewasboundto

beimportant.Thisisn’tcompletelyunexpected.Youbeingyouandall.”

Carolinewasn’tsureifthatwasacomplimentornot.“Youseemremarkablycalm.”

“I’mnot.ThisisgoingonthelistofthingsI’mdestinedtodiscusswithatherapist.”

“Isitalonglist?”

“Ihadtobuyasecondcompositionbooktokeeptrack.”

Touché.“Chrissyishavingabitofatime.Jacksayshewantsmetogobut,well-”

“Doyouwanttogo?”

Thatquestionkeptcomingup.Sheneverknewiftheanswerwouldchange.“It’stherightthingto

do.”

“Thatshouldbethemostimportantfactorinyourdecision,I’dsay.”

Sounruffled.Christinehadbeenright.Herdaughterwasarock,despitethesardonichumor.

Goddamn.Andshehadtobedeflectingalittle.Howcouldshenot?“Itseemssounfairformetoaskyou

nottobemadatmeforthisbut-”

“I’mnotmad,”Margueritesaidquietly.“Iknowit’scomplicatedandIknowthatJackwilldo

everythinginhispowertomakesurethiscomesoutallright.”

Shehadsomuchconfidenceinthetwoofthem.Toomuchconfidence.Arguablymorethanhersister

wouldhave.“Feef-”

“Sophiewilllearntounderstand.”

“I’vealreadyaskedsomuchofthetwoofyou.I’msendingyoudowntheunknownpathagain,onlyit

mightbeworsethistime.”

MargueriteputherarmaroundCaroline.“Mom,Iknowwhatyou’rethinking.YouthinkI’mbrushing

thisoff,thatI’mlyingsoyou’llgoandnotworryaboutit.Thetruthis,Iwanttobemad.Iwanttohateit.I

maybeevenwanttohateyoualittleforputtingusinthisposition.ButIcan’t,becauseIknowyou’re

doingthissoSophandIcangohomeagain.”Sheswallowedhard.“Evenifit’swithoutyou.”

Whatanamazingkid.Withanyluck,she’dkeepguidinghersisterdownthesameroad.“Thatmeans

youhaveaheart.Andaconscience.WhichmeansIdidsomethingright.”

“Youdid.YouanddaddyandJackandChristine.Ijusthaveonerequest.”

Carolinehadahunchwhatitwouldbe.“Andwhat’sthat?”

“IwanttogowiththetroopstoWashington.”

“No.Absolutelynot.”

“I’vegonethroughthetraining.Ibelongincombat.TalktoMajorFlaherty.”

Shewasn’tabouttoletherdaughterinonthesecret–thatKeithwasconvincedMargueritewas

meanttobeanofficerwiththerightamountoftimeandtraining.“Noneofthismakesanysenseifyourun

intothefireafterme,”Carolinesaid.“I’mdoingthisforyou,notwithyou.Thereis,unfortunately,a

difference.”

“Iknow,”Margueritesaid.“Thecurseofbeingraisedbyamotherwhogotcaughtupintheidealism

ofpublicservice.Besides,you’regoingtocomeback.You’llfindaway,eveniftheplangoestoshit.”

Margueritehadmuchmorefaiththanshedid.“Istilldon’tknowhowIendedupwithakidlikeyou.”

“Goodgenes.”ShekissedCaroline’scheek.“Ireallyamproudtobeyourspawn.Andthat’snever

goingtochange.”

Spawn.Shewasdefinitelyhermother’ssassydaughter.“YouwillneverbeasproudofmeasIamof

you.”CarolineheldMargueritetighter.“Iloveyousomuch,MoMo.Thisisn’teasyformetodo.Talking

aboutthiswithyou,thinkingaboutwhatI’mgoingtotellSophie.I’veputyouthroughsomuchandI’m

doingitagainand-”

“Youhavetodoit,”Margueriteinterjected.“It’snotupfordebate.We’llkeepsayingitifithelpsyou

processyourdecisionbetter.Butyou’renotmakingitonyourown.”

Suchinsight.“Iknow.”

“Sophiewillgetit.I’llworkonher.SowillChrissyandJack.”

“I’mdoingthissoyou’llhaveafuture.”

“Iknow,”Margueritesaidquietly.

Don’tcrydon’tcrydon’tcry.Thesobcrawledupherthroatanyway.“Makeitcount,Mo.Okay?

Makeallofthismatter.”

Herdaughterthrewherarmsaroundheragain.“That’sonethingyouwillneverhavetoworryabout.

Let’sgotalktoSoph.”

ChapterTwenty-Four

Theyhadafewdays.Maybeaweek.Theywantedtimetopreparebutdidn’twantthewindowleft

opentoowide.EverydaySantosremainedinofficeputmillionsatrisk.Thecitizenrywasgrowing

restless;itwasnolongerclearexactlywhatorwhotheywereprotesting,butitdefinitelywasn’tSantos.

Strangehowrealitycouldbebenttoservespecificpurposes.Carolineremindedherselftohavefaithin

herfellowAmericans,thatthey’dstepupwhenthetimewasright.Repressionmadeforahopeless

populacebutarevolutionarysparkcouldturnthingsaroundinaheartbeat.

Herchildrenweretakingitremarkablywell.They’dbeenspendingalmosteverywakingmoment

together,alongwithChristine.CarolinehadsaidherpiecetoJones,Gig,andCrunch,whoremainedtight-

lippedabouttheirinvolvementinanyplansfortheliberationofthecapital.Caroline’smainfocuswas

makingsureshewasasmentallyandphysicallystrongaspossible,whichmeantconfrontingherfears.

Besttostartwithoneoftheeasierones.

“They’regoingtocuffme,”shetoldJack,aftertheyreturnedfromoneoftheirworkouts.

“Ihopethat’salltheydo.”

“Idon’tknowhowI’mgoingtoreact.”

Jackputhisarmaroundher.“Howdoyouwanttohandlethat?”

“ThisisgoingtosoundstupidbutIthinkweshouldpractice.”

“Practicewhat?”

“Beingrestrained.Inasafeenvironment.Maybethatwouldhelp.”

“You’resayingyouwantmetocuffyou?”

Hedidn’tsoundallthatenthusiastic.“Itmightwork,”shesaid.

“Idon’thaveanyhandcuffs.I’msureIcouldgetsome.”

“Maybeweshouldtryputtingmyhandsbehindmybackfirst.Takeitstepbystep.Anddon’tgiveme

thatlook,”Carolinesaid.

“Sorry,”hesaid.“Justreminiscing.”

“Wearen’tgoingtobenearabedwhenwe’redoingit.”

“Itmighthelpifwewere.”

“Thisisserious,Jack.Idon’t–Iwanttobeready.”

“Iknow.I’llhelp,okay?”

Carolinepulleduphersleeves,rubbingthescarsonherwrists.“You’regoingtohavetobecruel.”

“I’mnotsureIlikethat.”

Asifshedid.“Wehavetoseewhathappens,Jack.Ican’tkeepmywitsaboutmeifIblackout.And

youneedmetostaycalm,right?”

“Right,”hesaid.“Youneedtobefocused,clearheaded,andforGod’ssake,don’tbecheeky.”

Oh,shedefinitelycouldn’tpromisenottomouthoff.“IfI’mcuffedandcoherentIgettobea

smartass.”

Jackmarchedaroundher,grabbingherarmsandyankingthembehindherback.“Youdon’tgettobe

anythingexceptwell-behaved.Understand?”hesnarled.

Carolineclosedhereyes.Shecouldfindsomewaytoconcentrateonthetaskathand.Ifshewas

cuffedduringoraftertransport,shecouldfocusonkeepinghershoulderslimber.Onminimizingaches

andpains.Shetensedherarms,seeingifthatwouldbringrelief.

“Understand?”Jackrepeated.

Shecouldfindhersafeplace.JackwastheoneyankingherarmsbutJackwasalsosafe.Shecould

thinkofgoodJack.DotingJack.LovingJack.

“Yes,”shesaidclearly.

“Good.”Hespunheraround,releasingherarms.“Howwasthat?”

“Ikindofwanttokissyourightnow,”Carolinesaid.

Jacklaughed.“EvenIthinkthat'salittlefuckedup.”

“Ican'thelpit.”

Heleanedin.“IsupposeIcantakeonefortheteam.”

Along,toe-curlingembracewasallsheneededtorejuvenateherself.“Canwepracticeagain?”

Hetookherhand,guidinghertowardthebedroom.“Later,”hesaid.“Much,muchlater.”

Sweet,romantic,affectionatesexwasawelcomedistractionfromthetrialsCarolinestillhadtoface.

Butitwasn’tenough.WhenshewasinJack’sarmsherworriesvanished.Butassoonaspost-coitalbliss

fadedshe’dbebackwhereshestarted,withthatbizarresenseofdoomshecouldn’tquiteputafingeron.

Thesecretsshehadyettoshare.

SantosknewabouthertimeinTheHague.Murdockknewaboutit.Herfamilyandfriendsknew

aboutit.Buttheyhadneverheardthewholestory.Itwasn’tuntilsherealizedeverybitofhertestimony–

everygoddamnword–wouldbesubjecttodisclosurethatshesuccumbedtoafull-onpanicattack.

Sheknewitwascounterproductive.She’dconqueredherfearofhavingherarmspinchedbehindher

back.She’dlearnedtochannelherangerandrageintoconstructivethoughtpatterns,intoroutines

designedtokeepheralertandawareonceshemetSantosfacetoface.Hewouldn’taskhertoturnherself

inandpotentiallyfacehisversionofjusticewithoutseeingherinperson.Hisegowouldn’ttolerate

anythinglessthantakingonthetaskhimself,whichwaswhattheirallieswerecountingon.His

obsessionswouldensurehisdefeat,sotheyhoped.

Carolinehadtofacetheprospect,howeverminiscule,thatshemightnotmakeitoutoftheWhite

Housealive.Thesecretthatdemonstratedwhoshereallywashadtoberevealed.NatalieandChristine

didn’twaverwhensheaskedthemtocomeoverfordinner.Itwasanexpectedinvitation,buttheydidn’t

expecttobediningwithherandJackalone.MargueriteandSophiehadretiredforthenight.Aconvenient

coincidence.Carolinedidn’twantthemintheapartmenttowitnessherhypocrisy.

Shewasn’tsurehowtoplayit.Shouldshekeepherphysicaldistance,carefulnottogettoocloseto

anyone,bothmetaphoricallyandliterally?Wouldithelptobenearsomeone?Wouldtheyrecoilinfear,

frownindisappointment,snapinanger?Jack,Christine,andNatalieweregoodpeople.Honest.Decent.

Howwouldtheybeabletotolerateheroncetheydiscoveredwhatshe’ddoneatTheFed?

ChristineandNataliesatonthecouch,leavinghernochoicebuttoplopinbetweenthem.Jacktook

thechairacrossfromthem.Theymadesomepost-dinnersmalltalkbutCarolineremainedquiet,the

echoesoftheirwordsgrowinglouderandlouderinherhead.Theinanityperplexedher.Nothingwas

normalbuttheydidtheirbesttopretenditwas,andshecouldnolongerstandit.Christinewasinthe

middleofarandomanecdotewhenCarolineinterruptedher.

“IhavetotellyousomethingbeforeIlosemynerve.”

Christineshiftedonthecouch.“Whatisit?”

Didshesoundasparanoidandunstableasshefelt?Wouldsheramble?Shenolongercared.“Ineed

totellyoubeforeyoufindoutfromsomeoneelse.IncaseIdon’t-”

Jackstoodup,reachingforher.“Caroline-”

Theycouldtalkaboutalotofthingsbuttheywouldbedamnediftheydiscussedthepossibilityofher

notcomingbackfromWashington.“Ineedtotellyouthis.Butyouhavetopromiseyouwon’thateme.”

Natalietouchedherknee.“Caroline-”

Shecouldn’tkeephercool.Notwhentheyallthoughtshewasmakingabigdealoutofnothing.

“Promiseme!”

Christineplacedahandonhershoulder.“Punky,thereisnothingyoucouldsaythatwouldmakeany

ofushateyou.”

Themovementtowardher.Theslightphysicaltouches.Theyweretryingtoreassureheranditwasn’t

working.“Thismight.”

Christinemethereyes.“ThisisaboutwhathappenedatTheFed.”

“Yes,”Carolinewhispered.“IhadtotalkaboutitinTheHague.Nooneelseknows.Notyou,or

Jack,orNatalie.It’sbad.AndIdon’t-”Hervoicebroke.“Idon’twantthegirlstofindoutwhata

horriblepersonIam.”

Christinescootedclosertoher.“Itcannotbethatbad,Caroline.”

“Itis.”Shewipedhereyes.“Ineedyoutoletmegetthisout,allright?”

Jacknodded.“Goahead,sweetheart.”

Wouldhestillbeusingtermsofendearmentbythetimeshewasdone?Carolineexhaled.“Natalie

knowssomeofthisbut…therewasalotIdidn’ttellher.”Sheturnedtotheyoungerwoman.“I’msorry.”

“Youdon’towemeanyexplanations,”Nataliesaid.“Weunderstandwhyyouheldsomedetailsback.

Keeptalking.”

Thetherapistwouldguidethemall.Carolinecouldpretendshewasinasession.Maybethatwould

work.Shecouldreiteratewhattheyalreadyknew,makingiteasiertotransitiontowhattheydidn’t.

“TherewerealotofprisonersattheholdingfacilitywhereIwasat.AlotofpeopleIknew.Alotof

peopleweknew.Mostofthemwerenotinverygoodshape.IsawBobafewdaysafterIarrived.Briefly,

thenhewasgone.Buthewasn’ttheonlyoneIsaw.Ellenshoweduptoo.Theyputherinthecellnextto

mine.”

“Purecoincidence,I’msure,”Christinemurmured.

Carolinedidn’tmindthatshe’dinterruptedher.Sheneededaminutetoprocessherthoughts.Butshe

didn’tmisstheglareNatalieshottowardChristine.Themovementofherhands.Lethertalk,sheseemed

tobesaying.Soshekeptgoing.“Ihadn’ttoldthemanything.Thatdrovethemnuts.TheyknewIwas

holdingbackandwantedtoswayme.TheagentsbroughtEllentometotrytoloosenmytongue.Itdidn’t

worksotheytookheraway.Icouldhearherscreaming.Shewasinthecellnexttomine.Iwasbegging

hertocalmdowneventhoughshecouldn’thearme.AndthenIheardthemenyellingandagunwentoff

and…shewasquiet.”

Christinebroughtherarmsaroundher.“Isthisokay?”shewhispered,squeezingtighterwhen

Carolineleanedin.“Whathappenednext?”

“They-”Oh,sheneededtosteelherselfforthisone.“Elliedidn’twork,sotheybroughtJennyinnext.

Andshetoldmethey’dkilledKatie.Wegottotalkalittle,holdeachother,beforetheytookheraway.”

Shegulpedagain.“Icouldhearherbeggingformercy,crying,wailingthroughthewalls.Iwasintended

toheareveryword.”Carolineclosedhereyes.“ThenextdayMurdockbroughtJennyintomycell.

They’droughedherupreallygood.Butshehadn’tsaidadamnthing.”Shebroughtherheadup.“Shewas

mygirl.Jennywasmygirl.”

Christinetuckedherhairbehindherear.“Ofcourseshewas.Shedidn’ttellthemanything,didshe?”

“Shedidn’tbreatheaword.ThatreallypissedMurdockoffbutitmademesoproud,”Carolinesaid,

hervoicecracking.“Theycuffedmetoachair,putherinachairfacingme.Oneoftheguardspulledout

hisgun,putittohertemple.AndMurdock–hetoldmetotellthemwhatIkneworthey’dkillher.”She

chokedbackasob.“I’msorry,Jenny.I’msosorry.Ishouldhavedonebetter.”

“It’sokay,Punky,”Christinewhispered.“Youdidn’ttellthemanything,didyou?”

“No,”shemumbled.“Itriedtoapologize,triedtodosomethingtostopthembutJennysaidshewas

ready.Toldmeshedidn’tblameme.Thatshelovedme.Thatshe’dhugKatieforme.”

Sheputherheadinherhands.Shefeltwarmthnearby.Awhiffofcologne.Jack,kneelinginfrontof

her.Natalie,herhandonherback.Christine,whisperingwordsofcomfort.

“It’smyfault,”Carolinechokedout.“Ishouldhave–Ididn’t-”

“It’sallright,sweetheart.”Jackclutchedherhands,kissingthetopofherhead.“It’sallright.”

“Situp,Caroline,”Nataliesaidsoftly.“Please.”

Jackhandedherhishandkerchief,andshestraightenedup.Sheglancedatallthreeofthem.They

werecrying.

“I’msorry,”shesaid.“Ididn’tmeantodisappointyou.”

Christinetookthehandkerchiefoutofherhands.“Caroline,lookatme.”

Ikilledher.IkilledJenny.Don’tyouunderstandthat?Itseemedlikesuchashamefulacttodareto

makeeyecontactwithpeoplewhowereclearlyherbetters,butshedidanyway.

ChristinewipedthetearsoffCaroline’sface.“Whatdoyouthinktheywouldhavedoneifyou’d

cracked?”

Carolineshookherhead.“Idon’tknow.”

“Oh,Punky.Ofcourseyouknow.Theywouldhavekilledheranyway.Youcan’tshouldertheburden

oftheirevilacts.Thiswasnotyourfault.Jensawthemforwhattheywere.Andsherecognizedyoufor

whoyouare.Youneedtodothesame.”

Jackbrushedhisthumbsagainsthercheeks,sweepingafewstraytearsaway.“Christineisright,”he

said.“Thisisn’tyourcrosstobear.Jendoesn’twantyoutoandneitherdowe.”

“Doyouhateme?”Carolinewhispered.

“Lookinmyeyes,”hesaid.“Whatdoyousee?”

Sheblinkedawaythewetness.Tookadeepbreath.Lookedathim.Reallylookedathim.“Isee

love.”

“NowlookatChristine.AtNatalie.Whatdoyousee?”

Carolinecouldn’tlookatthemquiteaslong,buttheirexpressionswerethesame.“Iseelove,”she

repeated.

“That’sright,”Jacksaidgently.“Everypersoninthisroomlovesyou.Yourchildrenloveyou.Ellen

andJenlovedyou.Everyoneyouhaveeverknownlovesyou.You’vebottledthisupfortoolong.Please

letitgo.”

“WhatwillMoandFeefdoiftheyfindout?Idon’twantthemtoknow.”

Jackkissedherforeheadagain.“Stop.Whenyouwanttotellthem,youcan.”

“Ididn’twanttodisappointanyone.”

Theywereallclosetoher.Holdingher.Shedidn’tneedtolookintheireyestoknowhowtheyfelt.

Notanymore.

“TheyforcedyoutomakeaSophie’sChoice,”Nataliesaid.“Theydiditknowingyouwerethekind

ofpersonitwoulddamagethemost.Theyplayedonyourbestqualitiestomakeyoubelievetheywere

yourworst.Andtheyaretheonlypeopletoblame.”

“Imissher,”Carolinewhispered.“Shedidn’tdeservewhatshegot.”

“Noneofyoudid.Butyouarenotexpectedtocarryherloadalongwithyourown.Shealreadytold

younotto.Shouldn’tyoutakeheradvice?”

CarolinetookthehandkerchiefoutofChristine’shands,blowinghernose.“Ishould,butyouknowI

won’t.”

“Yougotitout,”Nataliesaid.“Justdon’tletitcompromiseyouwhenyou’reinatenuoussituation.”

“Ifeelalittlebetter,”Carolinesaid.

“Good.”Christinestoodup.“Natalie,whydon’twegiveJackandCarolinesometimealone?Ithink

weallneedtodecompress.”ShekissedCaroline’scheek.“Iloveyou,Punky.Nothingyoudowillever

changethat.”

Natalieleanedinforahug.“Samehere.You’restuckwithus.”

Jackstooduptoletthemout.“Thankyouboth,”hesaid.“We’llbefine.”

Christinepattedhischest.“Weknow.”

ChapterTwenty-Five

Fivedays.Four.Three.Two.Caroline’sroutinewassimilartowhensheandherunittookonthe

rescuemissioninNevada.Briefings.Discussions.Explanations.Dealingwithhypotheticals,

unanticipatedissues,andthelike.Similarbutfarmorecomplicated,untiltheyweredowntothefinalday.

CarolinewastoflywithanescorttoReaganNational,whereshewouldbemetbyofficialsfromthe

SantosAdministration.Afragileagreementhadbeenstruck-shewastobetransferredtoanunknown

location,whichaccordingtotheirspieswastheWhiteHouse.Herescortwouldbeallowedtoleave.The

SantosAdministrationhadbeenskimpyonthedetails,butrebelinformantshaddoneanoutstandingjobof

separatingfactfromfiction.Therewerestillrisks,though.

“Arescueteamwillbedeployed.OuralliesinCanadaandEuropearealreadymobilizing,andhave

coordinatedtoarrivewithinthesamesixtyminutewindowinwhichCarolineissettoland,”Jacksaid.

“Won’ttheyfigureitout?”Carolineasked.“Whatifthey’respottedwhileI’menroutetotheWhite

House?”

“Weexpectthistomovequickly,”hesaid.“Santosisn’tgoingtowasteanytime.Remember,he’snot

tookeenondueprocess.”

Hisversionofdueprocessprobablymeantsomesortoflongandpainfuldeath.TheEighth

Amendmentwasn’texactlyholdingthemanback.“Iknow.”

“We’llusethattoouradvantage.Bam–yougettotheWhiteHouse.Bam–ourguysgoin.Bam–

Santosisarrestedonhiswarrant.”

Well,thatwasnaïve.“Santosisn’tgoingtowillinglybetakenintocustody,”Carolinesaid.

“Aslongasyou’realive,collateraldamageisirrelevant.”Jackpointedatoneofthemapsonthe

table.“Ourforceswillmodifytheirplansasnecessary,receivingthemostcurrentinformationfromour

spies.Oncethespiesaregiventhesignal,they’llflip.AndSantosisours.”

Inabodybag,mostlikely.ButtheyneededthedistractionofCarolineoritwouldneverwork.Too

bad.Shewouldhavebeenmuchhappierspendingthenextdaybythelakeorinbed,insteadofflyingto

herdoom.

Jackglancedattheclockonthewall.“Timetowrapthisup.Weallhavetopreparefortomorrow.

Keith,checkwiththepilots.Briefourparticipatingunits.I’llescortCommanderGerardhome.”

Noneofthemtalkedmuchatdinner.NatalieandChristineexcusedthemselvesearly,promisingtosee

heroffthefollowingday.Jones,Gig,andCrunchleftsoonafter.MargueriteandSophiestayedbehind,

andtheconversationstartedtoflowagain.ItremindedCarolineofthatlastnightwiththefourofthemin

theGovernor’sMansion,whenthey’dallsqueezedthemselvesintothekingsizebedinthemaster

bedroom,pretendingtosleep.Thenextnight…herchildrenweregone.

MargueriteandSophieretreatedtotheirapartmentshortlyaftermidnight,withhardhugsanda

promisetomeettheirmotherontherunway.Carolineploddedthroughhereveningroutine.Washingher

face.Layingoutherclothesforthenextmorning.Theiradvisorshadrecommendedshewearstreet

clothes,butsherefusedtosymbolicallycapitulatetoamadman.Shewasgoingoutwearingherservice

uniform.Wearingtheranksheearned.Wearingherrealname.Wearingaspectacularpairofuniform-

appropriateheelsbecausefuckit,Santoswasn’ttakinganysmallpleasuresawayfromher.Andmost

importantly,carryinganAmericanflaginaninteriorpocketalongwithpicturesofherfamily.

Shesmoothedthejacketout,arrangedtheskirt,placedthetienexttotheblouse.Madesureher

ribbonswerecorrectlyarranged,herberetstiffandproper.Itwasanintricateprocess,andunsteady

fingersdidn’thelpitalong.

Jackstilledherhands.“That’senoughfortonight,sweetheart.”Hetookoffhisweddingringand

handedittoher.“Ibelievethisbelongstoyou.”

“Youwantmetowearittomorrow?”

“Please.”Heranhisthumbandforefingeraroundtheplatinumbandonherlefthand.“I’dlikethis

back.”

“Thenwhat-”

“Yourengagementring.Youranniversaryband.Wearthemforme.Please?”

Sheswallowedhard.“Okay.”

Hesmiled,retrievingherjewelryfromthetopdresserdrawer.“Good.”

Sheslidoffthesimpleplatinumband,replacingitwithsparklingdiamondsandsapphires.Heplaced

herweddingringonachain,hangingitaroundhisneckbeforerunninghisfingerdownhercheek.

“Yourturn,”hesaid,extendinghishand.Shegavehimhisring,watchinghimplaceitonanidentical

chain.Heturnedheraround.Sweptthestrayhairsaway.Liftedthechainoverherheadbeforefastening

theclaspandtuckingitunderhershirt.“Therewego.I’mwithyoueverystepoftheway.Remember

that.”

Shecouldn’ttakemuchmoreofthis.“Jack-”

“Don’t,”hesaid,leadinghertothebed.“Wedon’thavetodothisnow.”

Carolinelookedupathim,fightingbacktears.“NeverforgethowmuchIloveyou.”

“Wepromisedeachotherwewouldn’tdothis.”

He’dbeenagonizinglystrongforthepastweek,butshecaughtthehitchinhisvoice.Shewillingly

buriedherselfinhischestwhenheextendedhisarms.“Iknow.”

“Wepromised,”herepeated.

Carolineclosedhereyes,tryingtoclearhermind.“Iwastedsomuchtime,”shewhispered.“Why

didIwastesomuchtimewhenIcouldhavespentitwithyou?IthoughtifIkeptyouatarm’slengthit

wouldn’thurtsomuchtoloseyou.”

“Stop,”Jacksaid,andpressedhischeektohers.“Nottonight.”

Shesniffled.“Somuchtime,whenwefirstgottogether.WhenIfirstgothere.Overthelastfew

years.AllthattimeIthrewaway.Withyou,andthegirls,andmyfriends.Iwastedsomuchgoddamn

time.”

“Don’tyoufuckingsecondguessyourlife,yourchoices,orwhoyouare,”hesaid.“Itwon’tdo

anythingexceptdriveyoucrazy.Thisplanwillworkandwe’llhaveallthetimeintheworldtosay

everythingweneedtosay.”

Hekeptrepeatingherwords,likesayingthemagaincouldmakethemringtrue.Carolinelookedupat

himagain,hervisionblurred.“Youandthegirlswillbefine.”

Jackburiedhisnoseinherhair.“Don’t,”hesaidquietly.

“You’retheonlyoneIcantalktoaboutthis.”

“AndI’mnotfuckingstrongenoughtohearit.”

Rightnowshefeltlikehewastheonlystrengthshehad.“Ineedyou.Ijustneedyoutolisten.”

“Youdon’tneedtotalk.Neitheroneofusdo,”hesaidquietly.“Theworldcouldbeblastedfrom

existenceandwewouldceasetoexist,andIwouldstillbelovingyou.Thereisn’tadamnthingyoucould

saytomethatIdon’talreadyknow.Idon’twanttotalk.Justletmebewithyou.”Heledhertothebed.

“Please.”

Theydidn’tspeak.Heheldher,strokingherhair,kissingherforehead,occasionallyhumminganoff

keytune.Itcomfortedherbutcouldn’tkeepherapprehensionfromgrowing.Whenherolledoverandfell

intoarhythmicbreathingpattern,sheknewhe’dunintentionallyfallenasleep.

Herminddriftedtowardthoughtsthathadonceconsumedherwhentherehadbeennothingelseto

occupyhertime.Ofwhatthegovernmentwoulddoiftheygotaholdofheragain.Shecouldn’timagine

howitcouldpossiblybeworsethesecondtimearound,butshe’dalwaysunderestimatedevil.Nowthat

shewasbeingdeliveredtoSantoswithafuckingbowaroundherneck,hewasengineeringhisrevenge.

Sleepwasn’tgoingtohappen.

Jackwaslyingthere,hishairfallingintohiseyes.Healwayslookedyearsyoungerwhenhewas

asleep.Shesweptherpalmacrosshishairlineandhereflexivelyrolledoverandputhisarmaroundher.

Strongandsecure.Thewayitalwaysfeltwhenhewastouchingher.

Carolinestaredattheceiling,herhusband’sarmwrappedaroundherwaist.“I’mscared,”she

whispered.

Heshiftedontopofher,hislipsmeetinghers.“It’sokay.”

“Ididn’tmeanforyoutohearthat.”

“Iknow.”Hekissedheragain.“DidyouthinkIwasasleep?”

Hell,someoneshouldbegettingsomerest.“Ihopedso.”

Hepulledhertohim.“Iwon’tsleepuntilthisisover.”

“Thisisthesecondtimeyou’relettingmego,knowingImightnotcomeback.”

Hetookashakybreath.“Yes.”

Herhusbandcouldreassureherallhewanted.She’dstillhavethatseedofdoubtinhermind.“Do

youhatemeforit?”

Heheldhertighter.“Thereisnothingyoucoulddothatwouldevermakemehateyou.Nothing.”

“SometimesIhatemyselfforit,”shewhispered.

“Thisisgoingtowork,”Jacksaid.“We’regoingtowrapthisupandhaveyouhomeintimefor

dinner.”

Whichhome?Shewantedtoaskbutheldhertongue.Shesnuggledcloser.“HaveItoldyouhow

muchIloveyou?”

Hekissedher.“Youtellmeallthedamntimewithoutasingleword.”

Itwaseasiertoburyherheadinhisshoulderthanlookhimintheeyes.“Idon’tknowwhatIeverdid

todeserveyou.Youterrible,wonderfulman.”

“Asomewhatbackhandedcompliment,”Jacksaid.“OneIwillmostgraciouslyaccept.”

Hereallywasbeautiful.Thestressofthepastfewyearshadn’tdampenedhisfeatures.Exceptnow

shethoughtofmorethanjustthephysicalaspectswhenshelookedathim.

“Youdon’talwayshavetobestrong,”hewhispered.

“Ido,”shesaid.“Especiallytonight.”

“Tonightistheonetimeyoudon’thavetobestrong.Letmebestrongforyou.Carrythatwithyou

tomorrow.”

Hewasright.He’dgetherthroughanything.Carolinethoughtaboutthefamilyphotoconcealedinher

uniformjacket.Aboutthemedalandtheweddingbandaroundherneck.Abouteverymemorythey’d

collectedthroughtheyears.Theyfinallyhadtheirfamilybackandtherewasariskitwouldbetornapart

again.Shedidn’twanttoregretanythingelse,notwhenshemightonlyhaveafewhoursleftonearth.

“Peopleneverreallythinkaboutthelasttimethey’regoingtohavesexwithsomeone,”shesaid.

“Thelasttimethey’regoingtokissthemgoodbye.Thelasttimethey’llheartheotherperson’svoice.

Wetakeourrelationships,ourspouses,ourpartnersforgranteduntiloneday,poof,it’sover.Maybe

we’dallbealittlebetteroffifwelivedeachdayasifitmightbethelast.”

“Makelovetome,”shewhispered.

“Youhatethatphrase.”

“Youdon’t.”Shestrokedhischeek.“Iwanttogiveyouyoursweetmemory.”

Heclosedhiseyes,pressinghisnosetoherhair.“Iloveyoumorethanlifeitself,”hemurmured.

“AndIamconstantlyinaweofyou.”

“Please,”shesaid.“Givemesomethingtoremembertomorrowwheneverythinggoesdarkandallof

myoptionsturnbad.”

Jackkissedher.“Quiet,”heordered.“Notanotherword.”

Shesmiledanddidexactlyashesaid.

Allnight.He’dbeeninsideherallnight.Thatwasprobablytheclosesttoforevershewasgoingto

get.They’donlydoneitonce,wantingtomakeitlast,knowingthatneitheroneofthemwouldbesleeping

anyway.Hespenttimeoneachscar,lovedher,heldher,madeherrealizetheymadehermorebeautiful,

moreappealing,moredesirable.Madeherviewthemasvictories,notlosses.Asthelightstartedpeeking

throughthewindows,Jackfinishedinsideher,sweepingherhairback,whisperingwordsoflove.They

hadalittletime.Timetoholdeachotherandwatchthesunrise.

“Weshouldgetready,”hefinallysaid.“Notmuchtimeleft.”

Whatagloomywaytophraseit,evenifitwasn’thisintent.Maybeshecouldattempttobeplayful.

“Wanttoshowerwithme?”sheasked.

Heshookhishead.“Yougofirst.I’llmakebreakfast.”

Shelingeredinthebedroomafterhehelpedhergetdressed.Sheknewsheshouldeat,thatshewould

needherstrength,buttheconceptoffoodmadeherfeelnauseated.Whatsheneeded,offensivethoughit

seemed,wassometimebyherself.Jackdidn’tquestionit.Hemerelykissedherontheforeheadandshut

thedoorashelefttotakehisownshower.

Letters.Sheshouldhavewrittenletters.Didshehavetime?No,she’dtrustMotohelpFeef.She’d

trustChrissytotellallthestoriesshehadn’tyetshared.She’dtrustJonesieandCrunchandGigtokeep

theflameofrebellion.ButJack…Jackwouldneedaletter.

Itwasshort.Sheknewexactlywhattosay.He’dbeexpectingmorebutitdidn’tfeelrighttowaxon.

Shefoldedthesmallsheetofpaperandtuckeditintoherjacketbeforeheadingintothekitchen.

JunemorningsinsouthernCaliforniaweren’tsupposedtobecold,butCarolineshiveredasthey

walkedacrossthetarmactowardtheplane.

“You’llgetthereearlyafternoon,”Jacksaid.“We’llbetrackingtheflight,communicatingwithour

contacts.Beflexible.Don’ttrytotellfriendfromfoe.Stallwhenyoucan,butnotifitcompromisesyour

safety.Yourrescueteamwillberightbehindyou.”

Shestillwasn’tsurehowthatpartoftheplanwasgoingtowork,buttheiradvisorshadreassuredher

thattheCaliforniaRepublicanArmyhadaircraftthatcouldevaderadardetection,whetherthrough

altitudeorothermeans.She’dhavetotrustitworked,orshe’dbeonherdamnownwithSantos.

“Iknow,”shesaidsoftly.“We’rethelastoneshere.”

“Onlyfitting,”hesaid.“Theplanewon’tleavewithoutyouanyway.”

Theyhadafewminutes.Toomuchtimeandnotnearlyenough.Onehugeach,sheexplained,because

ifshedidmorethanthatshewouldn’tbeabletoleave.Thesceneseemedalltoofamiliar,likeasnowy

nightinHarrisburg.Thelasttimeshe’dbeenconvincedthatshe’dneverseeherchildrenagain.Except

nowshewasprepared.

Margueritesalutedher.“Goodluck,Commander.”

Carolinehumoredher,returningthesalutebeforeturningtoSophie.“Don’tletherlordherposition

inthisrebellionoveryou.IwanttohearaboutitallwhenIgetback.”

Sophiesmiled,herlowerliptrembling.“Seeyoulater,mom.”

Nevergoodbye.Alwaysseeyoulater.

Christinekissedhercheek.“Getitdone,Punky.”

Shefeltlikeshewastrudgingtowardoblivion.ThankGodshe’dalreadyrunintoJones,Crunch,and

Gigandsaidhergoodbyespriortoheadingtotheairstrip.

Justonepersonleft.Carolineswallowedhard.“Well,”shesaid.

“Well.”Jackmotionedtowardtheplane.“We’vedonethisdrillbefore.”

Shecouldgivehimmorethanahug.Sheleanedinforalongkiss.“ThistimeI’mnotafraidtotell

youhowIfeel.Iloveyou,JohnMontgomeryMcIntyre.Don’tyoueverdoubtthat,notevenforaminute.”

“Ilikewhenyourepeatmybestphrasesbacktome.”Hestraightenedherberetbeforekissinghera

finaltime.“Finishthatbastardoffandgetyoursweetassbackhere.”

Shereachedintoheruniformjacketandhandedhimthenote.“Don’treadthisuntilI’mgone,okay?”

Hefalteredaminutebeforeshovingitintohispocket.Hepressedhislipstoherforehead,lingering

thereformorethanafewseconds.“Befearless,mylove.”

Nowshereallywasgoingtocryifshedidn’tscoot.Somehowshemanagedtostandupalittle

straighter,hershouldersbackandherheadheldhigh.“Iwill,”shesaid.

ChapterTwenty-Six

CarolineandatwopersoncrewlandedatReaganintheearlyafternoon.Theairportwasn’t

crowded;fewerflightsweregoinginandoutofthenation’scapital.Shewonderedwhatthefew

stragglersintheairportmustthink,watchingawomandraggedfromamilitarytransportplane,shoved

roughlyintohandcuffs,andplacedinthebackofapresidentiallimotobetakenGodknewwhere.

HerescortswereU.S.Army,shethought.Hardtotellwhowaswhat.Theuniformswerealittleoff

butlookedtobemilitaryissue.TheoddstillnessthathadovercometheUnitedStatesduringSantos’reign

hadintensified.Shecouldn’tquiteputherfingerontheunease.Shewonderedifeveryonefeltit.Somany

peopleintheDistrictappearedtosimplybelivingtheirlives,goingabouttheirday,oblivioustowhat

wasgoingon.Butthereweresigns.Anincreaseingraffiti,someofitsubversive.Astrangequiet,asif

thecity’sheartbeatlaydormant.Moreemptybuildingsandabandonedbusinesses.Howonearthhad

Santosconvincedsomanypeoplethatthingswerefine?Weretheyunmindfulonlybecauseitmaynothave

affectedthemdirectly?Theapathywasastounding.

Itdidn’ttakemuch.Cracksappearinginthefoundation.Aloadbearingwallstartingtoloseits

stability.Ittybittycluesthatleftastructurestandingperfectlyfineuntilitcollapsedintorubble.Thesigns

couldallbetherebutintheend,ademocraticsystemcouldbedestroyedinseconds.Especiallyifnoone

demandedaccountability.

Carolineclosedhereyes,doingherbesttofocusonsomethingotherthanthescenery.Shecould

drawstrengthfromlove.Confidence.Courage.Butlovelefthervulnerable.Soft.Hopelesslyhelpless.

Shehadtohopethatwhateveritgaveherwasenough,andthosewhogaveittoherwouldunderstand

regardlessoftheoutcome.

Shethoughtofthephotoinherjacket.Ofthenoteshe’dwrittenJack.Ofallthememories–newand

old–thatshe’dmadewithherfamilyandfriends.Shewasn’tdoneyet.Yes,shecouldgetthroughthis.

Forgetthetwistedreality,thedestructivearcaneparallelsracingthroughhermind.Shehadtolookat

Washington,herWashington,onemoretime.

Somegovernmentbuildingsweredamaged,buttheJeffersonMemorialremainedintact.The

Smithsonian.TheCapitol,therotundabrightwhiteagainstthecloudlesssky.Metrostopsandhotelsand

museums.Sheembracedthemall,extricatingthesplendorfromthesqualor.

ThecardrovedownPennsylvaniaAvenue,turningtowardtheWhiteHouse.Carolinespunaround,

catchingaquickglimpseofthemilitarystatuesfacingtheNorthLawn.VonSteuben.Kosciusko.Jackson.

Rochambeau.Lafayette.Allheroes.Alldead.Whenthevehiclecametoastopthesoldiersyankedherout

ofthebackseatwithoutaword.

TheWhiteHousewasacuriousplace.Aparadox.MeantforallthepeopleyetmostAmericanshad

neverseenhowittrulylookedontheinside.

Carolinehad,morethanonce.Granted,she’dneverbeenescorteddownthehalltotheOvalOfficein

handcuffs.Shemuchpreferredherothervisits.Therewereafewpeoplemillingaround.Staffers,maybe?

Sheknewshewassupposedtoavoideyecontactbutcouldn’thelpwonderingaboutthemasshewalked

by.Weretheyherspies?Herhelpers?Weretheytheoneswhowouldbustinandliberateherinthenick

oftime?OrweretheyjustascomplicitasSantosandhiscadreoffollowers?

She’dneverbeengiventhespecificsofwhowascomingtorescueher;lackofknowledgemeantshe

hadnothingusefultodisclose,ifSantostookitthatfar.Curiositywasenoughtokeepheronhertoes.She

hadtokeephimtalking.Headoredthesoundofhisownvoiceandwouldwanttogiveheradamngood

lecture.Shecouldtakeit.

Acompetentpresidentwouldbeabletofocus.Wouldknowwhattoemphasize,frompolicydownto

procedureandetiquette.Butacantankerousleaderwasbrittle.He’dbetheworstincarnationofaBond

villainormonologuingevildoer,believinghisopinionsandobservationswerefarsuperiortoanyone

else’s.

Yes,shecouldkeephimtalking.Pokethebear,sotospeak.Shekepthergazeontheendofthehallas

theyreachedtheOvalOffice.Thesoldiersknocked,waitedbriefly,thenopenedthedooranddraggedher

inside.

“Well.”Santosrosefromhisdesk.“Lookwho’shere.”

Hewasn’therpresident.Hewasn’tapresidentatall.Shestoodthereanddidn’tsayaword.

“Catgotyourtongue?”heasked.“Thatwillchange.”

Good.Hersilencepissedhimoff.Roundonewasunderway.Santosstrodearoundthedesk,leaning

againstthefront.

“Leaveus,”hesaid.

OneofthesoldierssteppedclosertoCaroline.“Sir-”

Santoswavedhimoff.“Isaidleaveus.”

Cockyandbombastic.Hedidn’tneedsecurity.Notwhenhewasupagainstahandcuffedwoman.His

physicalandmentalinferior.Thiswasgood.Betterthananticipated.Ifitwasjustthetwoofthem,he

wouldnevernoticeifshegothimonatangent.Therewouldbenoonetobringhimbacktothetopicat

hand.

Keephimtalking.

Carolineheardthedoorclickbehindher.Shewassuretherewasasecuritysysteminplace,maybe

evencameras.Shecouldn’ttryanythingstupid.Andyet...“Lorenzo,”shesaid.

Hefrowned.“IbelieveyoumeanttosayMr.President.”

Shecouldplaythisgame.Playitwell.“Lorenzo.”

“Insolence.Howcharming.Andwhatacutelittleoutfityou’rewearing.Pretendingtoplaysoldier?”

Shestoodalittletaller.“Doingaprettyeffectivejobofit,actually.”

“Yes,”hesaid.“Neverwouldhavetakenyouforit,butpeoplecansurpriseyou.”

Theycertainlycan.Sheshruggedinspiteofthehandcuffs.“Ilivetogive.”

Heproppedonefootuponachair,restingahandonhisknee.“You’vehadquiteafewadventures.

TryingtodestroyallthegoodI’vedone.Don’tthinkIdon’tknowwhereyou’vebeen.”

“That’sfunny,”Carolinesaid.“Accordingtomysources,youdidn’tevenknowIwasaliveuntila

weekortwoago.”

Santoslaughed.“Suchanastywoman.WereyouthisdisrespectfultoJeffrey?”

“Oh,Iwasmuchworse.”

“I’mnotsurprised.”Heswungbackaroundhisdesk,pullingahandgunoutofthetopdrawer.“That

mustcease,unfortunately.Myindulgenceendsnow.”

Hewasmovingfasterthanshehadplanned.Hiseagernesswaspositivelypeevish.Shehadn’t

anticipatedit,hadtoslowhimdownalittle.Werethereanymoregunsinthere?Wouldshebeableto

createadistractiontoallowhertoslidepasthimandsearchforherself?

No,thatwasunwise.ShecouldhearJackandChristineyellingathertothinkrationally.Bepractical.

Keep.Him.Talking.

“YoumustbequiteupsetthatMurdockrantoCanada,”Carolinesaid.“Didhegrowapairordidyou

cutthemoff?”

“Jeffreywastooambitiousforhisowngood.Hewasneverabletoproperlyinterpretmydirections.”

Santosletthegundroptohisside.“Bernardhadthesameproblem.It’sprobablywhyhemetthesameend

asyou.”

VicePresidentGundersonhadindeedbittenthedust.“Didyoutakecareofhimyourself?”

Hechuckled.“No.Igenerallydon’tgetinvolvedinthe…dirtywork,sotospeak.You’reanotable

andworthyexception.”

“Howniceforme,”shemurmured.

Santostuckedthegunintohispocket.“Suchashameyoudidn’twanttojoinmyteam.Ifnothingelse,

you’regoodforalark.”

“Perhapsyoushouldhaveofferedmethepositionofcourtjester.Imayhaveaccepted.”

“Idoregrethowyouweretreatedwhileincustody.Whenyouwerebeingquestioned,theguards

wereunderordersnottotouchyouinappropriately.Theyknewiftheycrossedtheline,theirheadswould

beonthechoppingblocknext.Jeffreytookitabittoofar.ForthatIapologize.”

Whatanemptystatement.Carolineflexedhercrookedfingers,suckedinabreathsharpenoughtofeel

thenumbnessbelowherribcage.“Howchivalrousofyou.”

Hetookastepforward.“Ontheotherhand,ifhehadn’tbeensosingularlyfocusedonpersonal

vengeancewewouldn’tbeherenow,wouldwe?”

Indeedwewouldn’t.“I’llsendhimathankyoucard.I’msurehe’lllovegettingprisonmail.”

“Quiteplucky,aren’tyou?Youshouldbetakingthisabitmoreseriously.”

Shewatchedhimpathispocket.Maybeifshewasluckyhewouldliterallyshoothimselfinthefoot.

Wherethefuckwasherbackup?Hadsomethinghappened?She’dbeentoldtheirarrivalwouldbe

minutesafterherown.Herpalmsstartedtosweat.“Iamfullyawareofthegravityofmysituation.”

Hetookthegunoutagain.“Gettingeager,aren’twe?Ibetyou’retryingtofigureoutifIhaveany

otherweaponsinmydesk.Lookingtomakeamove?Maybecatchmeoffguard?Tryingtoplaythe

earnestheroineyetagain?Itwon’tworkthistime.”Santosraisedthegun,pointingitatherhead.“On

yourknees,”hesaid.

Herbackupwasn’tcoming.She’dbedeadinamatterofseconds.Butfuck,ifshewasgoingdown,it

wouldbewithalittledignity.“No,”shesaid.

Heshookhishead.“Ishouldhaveknown.Awomanwhodoesn’tknowherplace.Predictable.”

Maybeshecouldkeeparguingwithhim.Whatwastheworstthatcouldhappen?He’dshootherfor

refusingtoobey?Shewasasgoodasdeadanyway.“MyplaceiswhereverthehellIwantittobe.”

Hekepttheguntrainedonherhead.Itwasa.40caliber.SmithandWesson,maybe?Hewasonlya

fewfeetaway.Toofarawayforhertolungeathimandtooclosenottomissifandwhenhechosetofire.

Goddammit.

“Sadly,youdon’tgettomakethatdecisionanymore,”hesaid.“Yougaveupyourideologicaland

physicalsovereigntytheinstantyouturnedyourselfin.Tellme,whydidyoudoit?”

Sovereignty.Whataninterestingchoiceofterminology.AlmostMachiavellian.OrwasitHobbesian?

Shecouldn’tverywellbeexpectedtokeeptrackofherphilosopherswhenshewaswafflingbackand

forthonwhetherthesituationwarrantedalastditchefforttomakepeacewithherGod.“Whydoyou

think?”

“Turningthequestionaround,Isee.”Hewavedthegunagain.“GetonyourkneesandI’lltellyou.”

“It’snotverygallanttoaskaladytokneelinaskirt.”

Hereddened.Shewasgettingtohim.“Iseenolady,”hesaidquietly.

Howlonghadtheybeeninhisofficealone?Carolinewasrunningoutofoptions.Reluctantly,and

carefully,sinceshewascuffed,shedroppedtoherknees.

Theactiondrewavenomoussmile.“That’smorelikeit.”Santostookastepforward.“Ithinkwe’ve

talkedenough,don’tyou?”

“Youpromisedyou’dtellmewhyIgavemyselfup.”

Heglaredatherthroughthesightonthegun.“Onlyafoolwouldbelievesuchapromise.Ipityyou.

AboutasmuchasIpitythejanitorswhowillhavetocleanyourremainsoffthefloor.”

Inotherwords,notmuch.Buteverysecondhewastalkingwasanothersecondshewasstillalive.

“Besuretogetthemanicefruitbasket,”shesaid.

Thatgunwasstillpointedstraightatherhead.“Yourpatheticmartyrdomhasnolimit,doesit?Do

youthinkIdon’tknowhowterrifiedyouarerightnow?Yourcowardicewillbeyourdemise.Youcan’t

foolmewithyourfalseswagger.Itmighthavegottenyouthroughyourtimeinprisonbutitwon’thelpyou

onthewaytohell.”

Shestaredathim.Ifshecouldn’tdieonherfeetshewouldtakeherlastbreathlookingthatbastard

rightintheeyes.“IfIendupinhell,you’dbetterhopeyoudon’tseemethere.”

“I’mnotconcerned,”Santossaid,ashetookastepback,aimed,andfired.

ChapterTwenty-Seven

Aloudcrash.Thesmellofcordite.Ahailofgunfire.Abootinherback.Carolinefellforwardand

rolled,barelyavoidingyetanotherbrokennose.Howhadthathappenedsoquickly?Hadtimeslowedin

hermindthenspeduptheinstantSantosdischargedhisgun?Hewaslayinginfrontofher,riddledwith

bulletsandmostdefinitelydead.Carolinewhirledaround,eagertoseehersaviors.Shecaughtaglimpse

ofsilverhair.Akneerippedtoshreds.Shescrambledovertohim,herhandcuffsgratingintoherwrists.

Wordsfailedher.

Theyweren’tsupposedtobehere.Noneofthemwere.Butespeciallyhim.

GigwasfranticallyremovinghisbeltasJonesieandCrunchtriedtostaunchthebleeding.Her

friends.Tryingtohelp.Helphergoddamnhusband,whodespitetheabsenceoftraininghaddecidedto

playhero.

“Steven-”Shestopped.Didshesoundasferalasshethought?

“It’snotasbadasitlooks,”Gigsaid.

Yeah.Sure.Right.Herhusband’skneehadprettymuchbeenblownoffbuteverythingwassuper

awesome.JesustapdancingChrist.

Itwasmorethanjustthefourofthem.Therehadtobeatleastadozenmenintheroom,withmorein

thehallway.Hardlyanyofthemwerewearingrebeluniforms.Gigglancedaroundattheothersoldiersas

hefinallyfreedthebeltandstartedtotightenitaroundJack’sthigh.“Somebodygetthosecuffsoffher,”he

shouted.“Comeon.”

Jack’seyeswereclosed.Hischestwasheaving.Hadhebeenshotanywhereelse?

“He’swearingavest,”Crunchsaid,asifreadingherthoughts.

Someone–shewasn’tsurewho–cameupbehindherandunlockedhercuffs.Animpressivefeat,

consideringhowmuchshewasshaking.ShelurchedforwardandpattedJack’sface.Hiseyesfluttered

open.

“DidIgethim?”hewhispered.

Carolinedidn’twanttothinkaboutthebodyslumpedontheothersideoftheoffice.“Thatwasyou?”

“Ofcourseitwasme.”Hisvoicewasfading.“Areyouokay?”

HerhusbandwasbleedingoutontheflooroftheOvalOffice.Yeah,shewasfineandfuckingdandy.

“Iwasn’thit,”shesaid.“ButsomebodykickedmeinthebacksoI’minalittlepain.”

“Thatwasme.DidIgethim?”Jackrepeated.

Ofallthethingstofocusonnow.Therehadbeensomanygunshotstherewasnowaytoknow.But

shecouldgivehimtheanswerheneeded.“Youdid,”Carolinesaid.“Youfinallyhitatargetthatcounted.”

“Good.”JackgroanedasGigtightenedthebeltaroundhisleg.“Begentle,youasshole.”

“He’stryingtostopthebleeding,”Carolinesaid.Andsaveyourlife.

Hegroanedagain.“Goodluckwiththat.”

“You’regoingtobefine,”shewhispered.

Timeslowedandspedupagain.Shefeltdizzy.Bloodpooledunderherhusband’slegs.Hisfacewas

turninggray.Nowwasnotthetimetolosecontrol,whichwasprobablywhyshewaspanickyashell.

Goddammit,thiswasnothowitwassupposedtobe.Carolinewasmeanttobackherwayinto

dangerbutsomehowcomeoutahead.Towalkawayfromtherubblewithoutascratch.Thatwastheplan.

Thatwashowitwassupposedtowork.Nooneelsewassupposedtogethurt.

Hadn’tshesufferedenough?She’dlostonehusband.Shethoughtshe’dlosttwo.Hadshegotten

complacentagain,takenhimforgranted?Trustedhimtobelessimpetuousthanher?Sheshouldhave

known.Shouldhaverealizedhewouldbethefirsttovolunteer,toputhimselfatgreatestriskdespitehis

lackofexperience.

Shehadtokeepittogether.Forhissake.“You’regoingtobefine,”sherepeated.

Jackreachedforherhand.“Itoldyounevertokneelforanyone,”hesaidweakly.“Youlistenlikea

fuckingbrick.”

Shewastornbetweenthrottlinghimandburstingintotears.“Whydidyoucomehere?”she

whispered.

“Ipromisedyoubackup,remember?”

“Youshouldn’t–Icanseethat.”

JackclenchedherhandtighterasGigcontinuedtotwistthebeltaroundhisupperthigh.“JesusChrist,

woman,younevertoldmehowmuchitfuckinghurttogetshot.”

“Stoptalking,”shesaid.

“ThatgoddamnbastardshotmeinthekneewhenIpushedyououtoftheway.”

Becausehewasaimingformyhead.Carolineleanedincloser.Sheneededhimtoshutup.“Ilove

you,”shewhispered.“Butyoureallyshouldstoptalking.”

“Ihavetoomuchtotellyou.”Hereachedforhisshirtpocket,pullingoutthenoteshe’dwrittenhim

thatmorning.“Holdontothatforme.Iwantitback.”

Shetookitfromhishand.Ithadabloodyfingerprintonit.Shehastilyshoveditintoheruniform

jacket.CarolineglancedatGig,whowasconcentratingonthetourniquet.Itclearlywasn’tworking.

“Isanambulancecoming?”shewhispered.

“Soon,”hesaid.“Ipromise.TheCommanderisgoingtobefine.”GigpointedatCrunch.“Checkon

thattransport.”

Jackclosedhiseyes,andCarolinepressedherlipstohisear.“Don’tleaveme.Notafterallthis.”

“HowcanIleave?”hemumbled.“Myknee’samess.”

“Stopjoking.Please.”

“It’stheonlywayIcangetyoutolikeme.”

Shekissedhisforehead.“Theambulancewillbeheresoon.Andthenyou’llhavetobequiet.Justlet

metalk.”

“Youdidgood,sweetheart.Realgood.”

Shedidn’tcareaboutwhatshe’ddone.Whatshewouldhavebeenwillingtodo.Shekissedhis

foreheadagain,tearsdrippingintohishair.“We’renotdoneyet,Jack.Wehavethingsweneedtodo.”

“You’llbeokay,”hesaid,hischestheaving.

Oh,fuckno.Hewasnotgoingoutlikethat.They’dearnedtheireverafter.Theydeservedtogrow

oldtogether,tonurseeachother’swounds,tohootwithgravellyvoicesandpeerattheirgrandchildren

throughcrinkledeyesastheytotteredontotheirlaps.“You’regoingtobefine,”shesaid.Howmanytimes

wouldshehavetosayitforittobetrue?Shewasterrifiedshewasabouttobreakdowncompletely.

“Iloveyou,sweetCaroline,”Jackwhispered.“Youdidrealgood,baby.”Hisheadlolledtotheside.

No.

“It’sallright,”Gigsaid,squeezingherupperarm.“Hejustpassedout.Pulseisstrong.He’sgonna

makeit.”

Washebeingstraightwithher?Everythinggelledtogether–thevoicesoftheothersoldiers,thehand

Jonesieplacedonherback,thecommotionthattookplacewhentheEMTswheeledastretcherpiledwith

medicalsuppliesintotheroom.

CarolinelookedatGig.“Canwetrustthem?”

Hegesturedtowardtheothersoldiers.“Ifnot,Isuspectwe’llhaveadamngoodbackupplan.Come

on.”Heextendedhishand.“Staywithmewhilethesepeopledotheirstuff.”

Sheacceptedthehugshewasoffered,unashamedofhertears.Shehadnocowardice,onlyhonor.

Andafiercepride.Inherself,inherfamily,inherfriends.

Inherhusband.

Surelyshecouldfindsomewaytogetthrough.Jackwouldn’tquitonher.She’dbedamnedifshe

wouldquitonhim.

Carolinerestedherheadagainstthewall,countingthebuttonsonheruniformjacket.Unbuttoning

them.Rebuttoningthem.Startingfromthebottom,orinthemiddle,orinapattern.Up,down,up,down.

Whenshegotboredwiththatshe’dmovetoherberet.Straighteningit.Tighteningit.Adjustingit.She

ignoredthebloodonherhands,twirlingheranniversarybandassheclutchedtheberetinherfist.

Atleasthalfadozenpeoplehadofferedhercoffee,andshehadalwaysrefused.Shesureashell

wasn’tgoingtodrinkit.Gigandtheotherskepttheirdistance,speakingquietlyinthecornerwiththe

CanadianSpecialForces.Theydidn’tknowwhattosay,ormaybetheyknewshewantedtobealone.

Jack,Jones,Crunch,andGighadbeenherprimarybackup,butthey’dbeenjoinedbytroopsfrom

Canada,theUnitedKingdom,andMexico,aswellasadecentnumberofU.N.Peacekeepers.The

Peacekeeperswereintheprocessofrestoringorder–takingsuspectedcollaboratorsintocustody,

policingthestreets,questioningstraystaffersandmilitarypersonnel.Moretroopswouldarrivebythe

hourtoensureasseamlessatransitionofpoweraspossible.Shedidn’tknowmuchelsebeyondthat.

Shewantedtosleep.Forever.Butthatwouldn’thappenuntilshefoundoutwhatconditionJackwas

in.Ithadbeenhourswithnoword.Ithadtobelatenightorearlymorning.Shefeltagentlehandonher

shoulderandlookedup.

“Hey,Punky.”Christinewasgivingherashakysmile.Carolinetriedtoreturnitandfailed,and

Christinequicklysatdownnexttoher,pullingherintoherarms.“He’sgoingtobefine,”shewhispered.

Carolineletoutasmallsob.“Therewassomuchblood,Chrissy.Ididn’tknowwhattodo.Hekept

tryingtotalktomeandhewouldn’tshutup,andthenhepassedout.TheEMTscouldn’tstopthebleeding

andthingsgotworseonthewaytothehospitalandIhaven’theardanythingand-”

“Stop.”Christinekissedhertemple.“I’mtellingyou,he’sgoingtobefine.”

“IstheresomethingyouknowthatIdon’t?”

Christine’seyeswerebright.“No,”shesaid.“ButJackMcIntyreisnotgoingtoleaveyouwithout

goodreason.ThatmanwouldfightallofthearchangelsandGodhimselftogetbacktoyou.He’snot

goingquietlyintothatgoodnight.”

“Hiskneeisalltornup,”Carolinesaid.“DoIwanttoknowwhatthatmeans?”

ChristinestartedrubbingCaroline’sback.“Idon’tthinkyouneedtospeculateatthispoint.”

Carolinegulpedbackanotherwaveofpanic.“Imean,couldhelose-”

“Letmerephrase.Idonotthinkitishealthyforeitherofustospeculateatthispoint.”

Messagereceived.Christine’scustomarylecturingtonewascoldcomfort.Carolinerubbedhereyes,

realitydawningonher.“Um,whatareyoudoinghere?”

“Iwaswonderinghowlongitwouldtakeyoutofigurethatout.”

She’dhadaroughday.Surelyherlapsecouldbeexcused.“Icouldhaveswornallofyoutoldmeyou

werestayinghome.”

“Ah,yes.Theclassiclieofomission.Ifyourecall,youneverspecificallyaskeduswhatourplans

were.YoujustassumedwewouldhangbackinCalifornia.”

“That’ssneaky.”

“IassureyouIdidnotmakethedecisionlightly.”

Carolineblinked.“YoucameherewithJack,didn’tyou?”

“Yes.Iknewhewaspartofthebackupteamsincetheverybeginning.Wethoughtyou’dfocusbetter

ifyouthoughtallofuswerebackinCalifornia.”

Whichwasprobablytrue.“Wherearethegirls?Aretheyheretoo?”

Christinekeptrubbingherback.“They’refine.They’resomeplacesafe,justoutsidethecity.Don’t

worry.They’reunderheavymilitaryguard.”

Carolinelookedupatthesoldierssurroundingthem.“Arewesafe?”shewhispered.“Theymade

everyoneturnovertheirweaponswhenwegothere.”

“Ifanyonegivesusahardtime,thereareafewbattalionsofPeacekeepersoutsidetotellthemwhat’s

what.”

Carolinehadbeensofixatedontheplanthatshehadn’tthoughtaboutthedetailsthathadn’tbeen

discussed.“Thegirlsknewtoo,”shesaid.“That’swhythey’vebeensocalmlately.Whytheywereso

chipperthismorning.”

Christinewasactuallystartingtolookembarrassed.“Yes.”

“Well,”Carolinesaid.“Aren’tyouallabunchofassholes.”Shelookedaround.“Aretheremore

Peacekeepersinherethantherewereaminuteago?”

Christineslippedhersuitjacketoff.Alwaysimpeccablydressed,eveninthemidstofagovernmental

collapse.“They,uh,mademeinterimCommanderinChief.”

Carolinecrossedherarms.“Becauseofcoursetheydid.”

Christinelaughed.“Don’tmakeitsoundlikethat.Thereweren’talotofoptions.Noonewantedto

seeamilitarytakeover,eveniftemporary.Martiallawisenoughfornow,andI’mhopingIcanendthat

soon.”

Holyshit,ChristineSullivanwasincharge.“AretheseU.N.guysgoingtotacklemeifIsmackyou?”

“Theytaketheirdutiesquiteseriously.Iwouldn’tchanceit.”

“Yougotlucky,”Carolinesaid.“How’dthishappen?”

“Themilitaryleadersofourlittleoperation.Theoneswhoweren’tyouandJack.”

Herheadswam.Wasthisconversationreallyhappening?“Justtoconfirm-you’rethePresidentof

theUnitedStates?”

“Untilwecanholdformalelections.”

Carolinepulledbackalittle.“SinceI’mnotallowedtosmackyou,amIsupposedtosaluteyou?Iam

inuniform.”

Christinepulledhercloser.“No,”shewhispered.“You’resupposedtokeepmehumble.”

“Isyourappointmentevenlegal?Whomadethatdecision?”

“Well,technicallyyoudidpulloffacoup.”

“Technicallyweweren’tAmericansoldiersatthetime.”

“Youdon’tneedtosplitsemantichairs,Caroline.Anyway,itdoesn’tmatter.Militaryofficialsmade

thedecision,andIsignedanexecutiveorderindicatingIwasnottoremaininofficelongerthanittookto

setupelections.Ifallgoesasplanned,we’llhavetheelectioninNovemberandtheswearing-inin

January,andeverythingwillrevertbacktonormal.”

Arelativeterm,nodoubt.ButCarolineknewwhatshemeant.“Howlonghaveyoubeenpresident?”

“Aboutthreehours.”

WhichwasprobablyaboutaslongasCarolinehadbeensittinginthehospital.“Andhowmany

executiveordershaveyousigned?”

“Aboutten.MostlytoundoSantos’damage.”

“Jesus.Howthehelldidyoupullthatoff?”

Christine’slipstwitched.“I’mveryefficient.”

“Ithoughtyoubelievedmostexecutiveorderswereoverreach.”

“Istillbelievethat.Rightnow,overreachissorelyneeded.”

“Sinceyou’rewieldingthatpensojudiciously,yougonnaissueanyexecutiveordersconcerning

me?”

“Ijustmight,”Christinesaid.“‘CarolineJoanGerardisnolongerallowedtodostupidshit.’”

IfChristinewastryingtokeephercalm,shewasdoingagreatjob.“Thatlanguageisvagueand

overbroadandthatorderisprobablyunenforceable.Andit’snotladyliketocurse.”

Christinesigheddramatically.“Youlawyerssuckthefunoutofeverything.”

“Getusedtoit.Youmayhavetodealwithmoreoftheminthenearfuture.”

“Yes,”shesaid.“Iknow.ItalkedtoRogerearlier.HeandBrianarecomingbackassoonasthey

can.Bothofthemmayrun.”

“They’dbegoodcandidates,”Carolinesaid.“Thatmatchupwouldbeacleancampaign,whichI

thinkweneed.”SheleanedintoChristine’sshoulder.“Thisfeelsweird.”

“Itmightforawhile.Mightnotfeellikehomeforawhile,either.”

Agoodpoint.Washingtonmightneverfeellikehomeagain,butitwasbetterthanbeingapatriot

withoutacountry.“Istillcan’tbelieveyou’rehere,”Carolinesaidsoftly.

Christineletoutanexasperatedbreath.“Honestly,Punky.Ican’tbelieveyouthoughtwewouldn’t

comeafteryou.”

Ithadoccurredtoherbutshe’dbrusheditaside,tooconsumedwithworriesaboutwhetherornot

infiltratingtheWhiteHousewouldsucceed.“Iwasn’tsure.”

“Jackwasalwaysgoingtoberightbehindyou.Always.Buthestartedmovingahellofalotfaster

oncehereadwhateveryouwrotehiminthatlittlenote.”

“Isee.”

“Whateverdiditsay?”

Carolineblushed.Shecertainlydidn’twantChristinetoreliveanybadmemories.Especiallythe

onesshe’dtriedtoputbehindheraftermakingherpeacewithJack.“It’snotallthatimportant.”

Christinepulledherintoanotherfiercehug.“I’mgladthebothofyoumadeit.Sovery,veryglad.”

Wehaven’tmadeityet.Carolinelookedatthebloodunderherfingernails.Shehadn’treallythought

aboutanyotherdamagethatmighthavebeencaused.“Imustlookamesstoyou.”

“Icangetyouachangeofclothes.Thisisallalittletoofamiliar.”

Christinewastryingtoavoiddredgingupthepast,especiallyonadaythathadsomanyemotional

unknowns.“Oh,Chrissy.Ididn’teventhink-”

“Don’tworryaboutit.Istillthinkyoushouldchange.Maybesneakashower.”

Sheresistedtheurgetosniffherself.“AmIstinky?”

“Kindof.”

Sheshivered.“Todayhasbeenrough.”

“Areyoucold?”

“Alittle.”

ChristinecoveredCarolineupwithherjacket.“Howareyouholdingupasidefrom…this?”

“Everythingiskindofblurry.”

“Isthatagoodthing,orabadthing?”

Carolineleanedinforanotherhug.Maybeshe’dstaythereuntiladoctorshowedup.“Idon’teven

know.”

“YouandJackaregoingtogetsomesortofcommendation.Youdon’tgettoescapethat.”

“Don’tIhaveenoughprettytrophiesandawards?”

“Neverenoughforyou,”Christinesaidsoftly.“Butit’soneofmypriorities.I’vegottogetupto

speed,getaspacetoworkoutof.”Shefrowned.“YourrescuesquadmadequiteamessoutoftheWhite

House,theOvalOfficeinparticular.”

“Itwasn’tjustus,”Carolinesaid.“FromwhatIunderstand,theCanadianSpecialForceshadafew

A-Teammoments.”

“IsupposeIshouldbehappythatIgotthatreference.”

Carolinerubbedhereyes.“JackkilledSantos,”shesaidsoftly.“Or,I’mgoingtolethimthinkhedid.

HeshotJack,andJackreturnedthefavor.”

“Hedidwhathehadtodo.”

“Isitrighttolethimthinkhekilledaman?Orhelpedto?”

“Foraverygoodreason.”

Shethoughtaboutthatlifelessbodyonthefloor.Anynumberofbulletholescouldhavebeenthekill

shot.WasitbettertoconvinceJackhewasinnocent?“Webothwantedhimdead.”

“YourhusbandknewtheriskswhenheledthatunitintotheWhiteHouse.Hewasarmedforareason,

readytodowhatneededtobedone.Forjustice,notvengeance.Nooneisgoingtosayitwasunjustified.”

“Iknow.”

“Areyouafraidthisisgoingtobethethingthatfinallysendsyoubothoffthementalcliff?”

Carolinelaughedsoftly.“No.Atleast,Ihopenot.”

“You’vedonesomuch,Caroline.Gonethroughsomuch.It’satestamenttoyourcharacterthatyou

haven’tletyourselfsinkintoapermanentlyviolentmentality.Frankly,I’mimpressedyouweren’ttheone

whothreatenedtokillMurdock.”

Carolineshudderedatthememory.SometimesChristine’spenchantforbrutalhonestymadeher

extremelyuncomfortable.

“It’sokay,”Christinesaid.“Imighthavedoneittoo.”

“Youdidkickhimintheballs.”

“Nocomment.Onacompletelyunrelatednote,Itriedtogetthemtomakeyoupresident.OrJack.”

Whataconversationthatmusthavebeen.“Oh,youdidnot.”

“Idid.ThenIrealizedneitherofyouwouldwantit.IfI’mwrong,youcanalwaysruninNovemberif

youwish.”

“Idon’twanttobepresident,”Carolinesaid.“IdoubtJackdoeseither.”

“Oddlyenough,neitherdoI.”

“Iassumethat’swhytheypickedyou.”

“Probably.”

“I’mnotintheproperstateofmindtoberunninganentirecountry.I’mnotevensureI’mcapableof

operatingadishwasher.”

Christinehuggedhercloser.“Stopbeingsoself-deprecating.You’remorestablethanyouthink.”

“Soareyou.You’llbegoodatthis,Chrissy.”

“Idon’tknowwhatI’mdoing.”

“Therearepeoplewhowillhelpyou.Hell,youcan’tdoworsethanwhat’sbeengoingonforthepast

twoyears.”

“Whatavoteofconfidence.”

“Mybestfriendtaughtmetobehonestwithher.”

Christinestartedtosaysomething,thenturnedandlookeddownthehall.Amaninscrubswas

walkingtowardthem.CarolinestiffenedasChristinetightenedherarmaroundhershoulder.

“I’mDr.West,”themansaid.“AreyouMrs.McIntyre?”

Carolinedidn’tbothercorrectinghim,sinceshedidn’twantto.Shestoodupshakily,handing

Christine’sjacketbacktoher.“Isheokay?”

ThedoctorlookedatChristine.“Andthisis?”

“Thepresident,”Carolinesaidinstantly.Shealmostenjoyedthefactthatheapparentlyhadnoclue

whohewasspeakingwith.

“Oh,”hesaid.“GuessI’vemissedafewthings.Sorry,ma’am.”

“Iforgiveyou,”Christinesaid.“Youwereinsurgery.”

“Maybeyoudon’tneedmetokeepyouhumble.”CarolinesmiledatChristine,soberingonceshe

broughthergazebacktothedoctor.

“Tellusaboutherhusband’scondition,”Christinesaid.

Thedoctorrubbedhiseyes.BasedonhowlongCarolinehadbeenatthehospital,he’dlikelybeenin

theoperatingroomforalmostfourhours.“He’slostalotofblood.Buthemadeitthroughjustfine.”

Fine.Whatdidthatreallymean?Carolinesankontothebenchanddidn’tsayanything.

“How’shisknee?”Christineasked.

“Itwasprettytornup.Iwasn’tsurewe’dbeabletosavetheleg.Wewon’tknowthelongterm

damageuntilwestartphysicaltherapy.He’sinacastfornow,butwillneedextensivetreatment.”West

lookedCarolineintheeyes.“Hemayhavealimp,butthere’saverygoodchancehe’llwalkagain.”

Carolinestaredathim.“There’sachancehewon’twalkagain?”

“Ithinktheoddsareinhisfavor.”

Christinesatdownnexttoher.“He’sgoingtobeokay,Caroline.Focusonthedetailslater.”

“Iwill.Ijustneedtoknowwhattotellhim.”Shehadtoberesilient.Jackdeservednothingless.

“CanIseehim?”

Westgestureddownthehall.“I’llwalkyoutohisroom.”

ChristinekissedCaroline’scheek.“I’llseetoyourchildren.”

“But-”

“Youdon’tneedmerightnow.We’llcomebacktomorrow.Yourhusbandistough.He’llberunning

marathonsbythistimenextyear.”

Carolinehuggedher.“Thankyouforbeinghere.Kissthegirlsforme.”

Christinemotionedtohersecuritystaff.“I’llcheckinlatertonight.”

Watchingallthosesoldiersescortheroutofthehospitalwasamusing.Forthefirsttimeallday,

Carolinesmiledagenuinesmile.“Surething,MadamPresident.”

Thedoctordidn’tsaymuchasheledherdownthehall.Buthehadasoothingdemeanorandtoldher

ifsheneededanythingtoletthenurseknow.Maybetherewerekindpeopleleftintheworld.Maybe

Santoshadn’tdestroyedallofAmerica’sgoodwill.

Carolineshutthedoorbehindher.Shedefinitelydidn’twantanyoneelseintheroomunlessshe

expresslyaskedforthemtobethere.Jack’slegwasinanelevatedsling,heavilybandaged.She

swallowedbacktears,tryingnottothinkaboutwhatthedoctorhadtoldher.Herhusbanddidn’tneedany

negativity.

Shepulledachairupnexttothebedandwassuddenlyacutelyawareofhowoldhewas,howclose

shehadcometolosingitall.Carolinetookhishandinbothofhers,studyingeveryinchofhim.How

manytimeshadhebeeninthissamepositionbecauseofherstubbornness,herflagrantlyimpulsive

actions,herzealousyearningtodowhatshethoughtwastherightthing?He’dgottenthroughallthose

trials;surelyshecouldmanageitonce.

Carolinestrokedhisforeheadgentlyandyawned.Itwouldbeawhilebeforehewokeup.Sherested

herheadonhischest.Hewouldn’tmindifsheclosedhereyesforaminute.He’dsureashelllether

knowtheinstanthewasawake.

Shefeltahandstrokingherhairbeforesheknewit,andliftedherheadup.Jackwasgivinghera

tiredsmile.

“Hey,baby,”hecroaked.

“Hi.”Carolinerubbedhereyes.“Thatwasquick.Youbarelyletmesleepatall.”

Jacktriedtositupandtheslingshifted.Hewinced.“Whatthefuckhappened?”

“Don’tyouremember?”

“SomethingprettyseriousmusthavegonedownintheWestWing.”

“Yeah,”Carolinesaidquietly.“Thatwasniceofyoutoshowupwithouttellingme.”

Jacksqueezedherhand.“Elementofsurpriseforeveryone.Includingyou.”

“Santoswasabouttokillme,”Carolinesaid.“Youstoppedhim.”

Heclosedhiseyes.“Ithoughtweweren’tgoingtogetthereintime.Youmusthavedoneahellofa

jobtokeephimdistracted.”

“Ididmybest.”

“Yousurefuckingdid.I’msoproudofyou,sweetheart.”

“I’mnottheonewhodeservespraise.You’retheonewhofinallylearnedhowtoshoot.”

“Hedeservedit.”

Hesureashellhad.Shehopedwhereverhewas,itwasquitewarm.Themyriadwaysthatsituation

couldhaveendedalmostsentherintoapanicspiral.“Youcouldhave-”Carolinestoppedtocollect

herself.“Yousacrificedyourselftokeepmefrombeingshot.”

Jackcaressedhercheek.“Pureinstinct.You’reworthit.”Hepointedatthesling.“Howbadisit?”

Christ,thiswashard.“Yourkneeisreallyfuckedup,”shewhispered.“Theyalmost–theythought

theyweregoingtohavetotakeyourleg.”

“Itappearstostillbeattached,”heobserved.

Goodthingsomeonefounditfunny.“Doesithurt?”

“Like.A.Motherfucker.”

He’dneedsomepainkillers,maybesomewater.Andsomefood.Butshewasn’tquitereadytopress

thatcallbutton.“You’regoingto–you’llprobablyneedacane,ifyou’reabletowalkagain,”Caroline

said,andpulledherchairbackslightly.“I’msorry,Jack.”

“Don’tapologize.Weheldtheguiltypartyaccountable.Santospaidforhiscrimes.”

Itseemedwrongtorevelinanotherperson’sdeath,butshewasn’ttoobrokenupaboutthemanwho

triedtodestroyeverythingshebelievedin.“Youmadesureofthat,youdangerousbastard.”

Jackshiftedagain,groaning.“I’llbefine,sweetheart.Don’tworryaboutit.”

Maybehedidneedanurse.“Ishouldgetsomeonetocheckonyou.”

“No,”hesaidquietly.“Iwantthesefewminuteswithyoubeforeitgetshectic.”

She’dmuchratherhavesomeoneelseintheroomtokeepherfromfallingapart.“Okay.”

“Where’smynote?Youdamnwellbetterhavesavedit.”

Carolinehadbeentryingnottothinkaboutthebloodyfingerprint.Aboutthefoldednoteinherjacket.

“Idid.”

“Iwantitback.”

Shepulleditout.“Here.”

“Readittome.”

Straightoutofsurgeryandalreadybeingagoof.“Areyouflirtingwithyourwife?”

“Iwantyoutosayitoutloud.”

Carolinecouldhumorhim.Hewasinpain,andthenoteclearlyheldsomemeaning.Sheunfoldedit.

“Youwerealwaysgoodenough,”sheread,hervoicesoft.

“Putthatwithmystuff,”Jacksaid.“Idon’teverwanttoloseit.”

“Chrissysaidyoustartedmovingtwiceasfastonceyoureadit.”

“Asyouknow,Iamahopelessromantic.”

“Myheartfeltwordsoflovemotivatedyou?”

Hekissedthebackofherhand.“Yourexistencemotivatedme.Thenotewasaniceboost.”

Evencomingoutofheavysedation,hewasdoingeverythingright.Sheblinkedbacktears.

Jacktippedherchinup.“What’swrong?”

“Ican’t-”Sheshouldn’tbedoingthis.Shewasobligatedtokeepittogether.Butitwassofucking

hard.

“It’sokaytocry,baby.”

Carolinebitherlip.“Notwhenyou’retheonewho’ssuffering.”

“Ifyouweren’tcrying,I’dbealittleconcerned.”

Heseemedcalm.Serene.Almosthappy.Exhaustedandhurting,butoddlyplacid.“Isthisenough

now?”sheasked.

“Whatdoyoumean?”

“Canyoufinallyletgoofyourguilt?”

“I-”

“Yousavedmylife,”shewhispered.“Ithinkwe’reeven.Youdon’tneedtofeellikeyouoweme

anymore.”

“IsthatwhatyouthinkI’vebeendoing?”

“Idon’tknow.Butyou’vehadthiscloudhangingoveryou,eversince-”

“Don’t,”hesaidfirmly.

Hedidn’twanttohavethisconversation.Shewasn’tsureifhewastryingtoprotecther,orhimself.

“Youalmostdied,Jack.Forme.YouwerelayingonthatfloorbleedingoutandallIcouldthinkwas–did

hedothistoprovesomethingtome?”

“IdiditbecauseIloveyou,”hesaidroughly.“It’smyresponsibilitytoprotectyou.”Heshookhis

head.“Butit’ssomuchmorethanthat.”

“Canyoufinallyforgiveyourself?”

Jackbroughthishandtohercheekagain.“That’snotit,sweetheart.Iwillalwaysdoeverythinginmy

powertokeepyousafe.IfI’ddiedprotectingyou,Iwouldn’thaveregretteditforamoment.”

Butshesureashellwould.“Iwouldhavebeenalone.Iwouldn’thavehadyou.”

“Butyou’dbealive,”hesaid.“Itwouldhavekilledmetoknowyouweresuffering.Caroline,don’t

everthinkyoudon’tdeservethatkindofdevotion.Thatamountoflove.Becauseyoudo.AndnowI

understandwhyyouactthewayyoudosometimes.”

“Idon’tknowanybetter,”shemumbled.

Jacktuckedherhairbehindherear.“It’smorethanthat.”

“Ineverblamedyou.”

“Iknowyoudidn’t.Iblamedmyself.AndIwillnever,everblameyouformyowndecisions.

Understand?”

“Okay.”Shepaused.“Whenyou’redischargedI’dliketogotoPhiladelphia,ifthat’sokay.”

“Really?”

“That’sourhome.”

“Marylandisyourhometoo.”

True.Butshewasn’tsureifshewantedtobequitethatclosetotheaction.Especiallywhenher

husbandwasrecoveringfromaseriousinjury.“Wecanliveinthedistrictatfirst.ButIthinkI’drather

stayawayfromallofthat.Chrissy’sinchargeuntiltheyfigureoutelections.”

Tohersurprise,Jacklookedsincerelypleased.“Good.”

“Youdidn’twantthemtopickyou?”

“Absolutelynot.Iwanttoliveaquietlife.”

“Permanently?”

“Ifpossible.Anice,quietexistencewithyoubymyside.”

Carolineglancedathiskneewithconcern.“Youmighthaveafewbridgestocrossfirst.”

Jacksqueezedherhand.“Doesn’tmatter,aslongasyou’rewithme.”

ChapterTwenty-Eight

“Ilikewhatyou’vedonewiththeplace,”Carolinesaid.“TheWhiteHousehasadecidedly

democraticfeeltoit.”

“I’mnotswitchingparties,”Christinesaid.

“Imeantpurelyinthenon-totalitariansense.”

“No,shemeantitthewayyoutookit,”Jacksaid.“Whichmeansshe’sconvincedRogerwillwin.”

“Ofcoursehewill,”Carolinesaid.“WehaveafewmonthsuntilNovemberbuthe’llgetitdone.

AlthoughBrianwouldbejustascapable.”

“Youdaretoarguewiththepresident?”Christineasked.“I’mescortingyoutoyourownawards

ceremony.Howmanyheadsofstatedothat?”

Carolinemadeaface.“You’redrunkwithpower.Imayneedtostartanotherrevolution.”

“Mom,”Margueritesaid.“Nowyou’rebeingsilly.”

“No,she’sbeingherself,”Christinesaid.“Andit’sdivinetosee.”

“When’sSusannahmovingback?”Carolineasked.

“She’sstillpackingup,findingdaycare,thatsortofthing.”Christinesmiled.“Ican’twaitforherto

bebackinPhiladelphiawhereshebelongs.”

“Apromotiontopartnerisnothingtosniffat.Gladshe’scominghome.”

“I’meagertogethomemyself.”

Washingtonwasn’thome,foranyofthem.ButCarolinestillsuspectedthatSusannah,Jacob,andher

childrenwouldbehangingoutattheWhiteHousewhiletheycould.

“WhendoIgettospendthenightintheLincolnBedroom?”Sophieasked.“Imean,wemayaswell

exploitthiswhilewecan.”

“Ihearthepresidentcanbebribed,”Carolinesaid.

“Notlikely.”ChristinewaitedwhileMargueriteopenedthedoortotheGreenRoom.“Jack,Ihope

younoticedhowaccessibletheWhiteHouseis.”

Hehadn’tsaidawordasthePresidentoftheUnitedStateswheeledhimdownthehall.“I’mjumping

forjoy.”

Shespontaneouslykissedhischeek,settingthebrake.“I’llleaveyouhere.Ourotheraward

recipientsshouldbearrivingshortly.Trynottosettheroomonfire.”

“Anypress?”Carolineasked.

“Ofcourse.Wewouldn’twanttodepriveyouofaphoto-op.They’reassemblingintheEastRoom.I

wantedtogiveyoualittleprivacyfirst.”

Margueritethrewanarmaroundhersister.“You’llbeluckytogetmomtosmile.Comeon,Soph.

Let’scheckthisplaceout.”

Patriotismcouldfade.Couldmanifestindifferentways,takeahitwhenitwasneededthemost.It

wasnicetoseethatmagicalgiddinessreappearinherchildren.They’dbeentotheWhiteHousebefore

butitstillseemedfreshandnewtothem.Shehopedthey’dneverlosethatidealism,especiallywhenthey

hadgoodreasontoletitgo.

“Youhavefoundawaytokeepmychildrenentertained.Congratulations.Goprepareforyourbig

speech.Trynottobetoosappy.”CarolinelaughedasChristinespunaroundandwalkedaway.“Ithinkthe

CommanderinChiefjuststuckhertongueoutatme.She’slostmyvote.”

“She’snotrunning,sweetheart.”

“That’shardlythepoint.”Carolinecrouchednexttohischair,doublecheckingthebrake.Shedidit

everytimetheywentanywhere.ItdroveJackcrazy.

“Christinealreadysetit,”hesaid.“Youdon’ttrusther?”

“She’snotusedtodoingit.Idon’twantyoutobeabletorollawaywithoutme.”

Humor.Thatwashowtheydealtwitheverythinglately.Itwasfarbetterthanthebadfeelingsthey’d

fosteredduringtheirfirstawkwardmomentstogetherinCalifornia.AndJackneededhumor.He’dspenta

coupleofweeksinthehospitalandwasn’tthrilledwhentheymovedintohisGeorgetownbrownstoneand

discoveredhowmanystairsithad.Somanythingsthey’dneverconsidereduntiltheybecameissues.

Theplacewasstillindecentcondition,andsheandJackmadedowiththefirstfloorguestbedroom.

Theylefttheupstairstothegirls.Itwasgoodenoughuntiltheyfiguredouttheirnextstep.Almostallof

theirpossessionsinthePennsylvania’sGovernor’sMansionhadbeendestroyedbyJack’ssuccessor.But

nomatter.Theywereonlythings.JackandCarolinereservedallsentimentalityfortheirrealhomes.They

stillhadn’tcheckedontheirhousesinRockvilleandPhiladelphia.Toomuchtohandleemotionally.

Maybewhentheirplatewaslessfull.

Carolinewasgoingtofocusonthepositive.Shewasseeingherfriends.Shewasspendingtimewith

herbestie.ChristinehadencouragedthemtostayintheWhiteHousewithherbutCarolinedidn’twant

thatamountofattention.Thesummerwouldendsoonandcampaignseasonwouldkickintohighgear.

ChristinewasstilltryingtoundoallthedamageSantoshaddoneandhadtightsecurityatalltimes.

AfterSantos’death,therewasnoneedtokeeptheICCindictmentsunderwraps.Theywereunsealed

andreleasedtothepublic,butnotuntilCarolinehadtheopportunitytoexplaintheircontentstoher

children.Thankfully,ithadn’tchangedtheirbehaviortowardher.Ifanything,she’dnoticedanincreasein

affectionandkindwords.

PresidentSullivanhadagenerallyopendoorforthepress,buttheyhadtoprovethemselvesagain.

Sheneverdeclinedanycredentialsbutthosewhohadturnedablindeyeornormalizedtheactionsofthe

SantosAdministrationgarneredacloserlook.Chrissywassmart.Sheknewwhototrust.Thepeoplewho

hadremainedoutspoken,whohaddonesoatriskoflivelihoodandlife,weregivenafrontrowseatatall

herpressconferences.Shewasridiculouslytransparentinallherdealings,whichhadgonealongwayin

repairingtherelationshipbetweenthemedia,thecitizenry,andpublicservants.Yes,Carolinewas

fiercelyproudofherpresident.Thekindofworldleaderwhowouldwheelaninjuredherodownthe

hallsoftheWhiteHousewhentherewereplentyofotherpeoplearoundtodoit.

“Howareyoufeeling?”sheaskedJack.

“I’dfeelmuchbetterifyouweregrindingagainstme.”

“Jack,really.Whataboutthegirls?”

Hecuppedherchininhispalm.“YouthinkIcareanymore?”

Eh,they’dprobablyjustignoreit.“Willithurtyourleg?”

“I’lldealwithit,”hesaid,smilingassheslidontohislap.Shewasabouttoadjustherselfandlean

inforakisswhensheheardafamiliarvoicebehindher.

“Noneofthat,Princess.Wedon’twanttowatchyoutwogettingbusyonsuchanimportantoccasion.”

Oh,thatlostmomentwouldberegainedoncetheygothome.MaybeCarolinecouldconvincethegirls

togooutforaverylongdinner.ShegrabbedJonesinahugehug.“Hi.”

Margueritestrodeover.“ThankGod.Yousavedmyeyes.”

HereachedintogiveherandSophiehugs,beforeshakingJack’shand.“Sir,”hesaid.“Howyou

feeling?”

“Gettingthere.”

Honesttoafault,herhusband.“Wherearetheguys?”sheasked.

Jonesreleasedherandsteppedback.“Crunchisparkingthecar.Hardtofindaspaceclosetothe

WhiteHouse,youknow.”

Carolineslappedhimonthearm.“Seriously.Wherearethey?”

“Gighadtotakeapiss,”Crunchsaid,comingupbehindher.“Didn’twanttobesteppingbackand

forthonhislumberingfeetwhilethepresidentsaidsweetthingsabouthim.”Hekissedheronthecheek.

“Youlookgood.”

Acomplimentthattodayofalldaysshewouldtakeinstride.“Thanks.”

Jackhelduphishand.“Ah,hereareMr.GigowskiandDr.Haddad,bringinguptherear.”He

acceptedthehugNatalieoffered.“How’dyougetstuckwiththethreeofthem?”

“Wewerestayingatthesamehotelsowhatthehell,”Gigsaid,thoughCarolinecouldswearshesaw

hisfaceredden.

“Gladyou’reallhere.”Carolinetippedherheaduptolookoverhisshoulder.“Anyoneelse

coming?”

“Severalofourcolleaguescouldn’tmakeit,”Nataliesaid.“Thepresidentishavingaseparate

ceremonyinCalifornialaterthismonth.”

Natalielookedtired.Andshewasmissingsomeone.“Where’sMark?”Carolineasked.

“He,uh,stayedbehind.”

Carolineputherarmaroundher.“Whatdoesthatmean?”

“Exactlywhatyouthinkitdoes.Iwanttofinishmyresidency,maybemoveclosertoyouguysand…

hewantedtosettleinCalifornia.”

“Oh.”Shedidn’tknowwhattosaytothat.ShewonderedwhyNataliehadn’tcalled.“I’msorry.”

“It’sallright,”Nataliesaid.“Theguyshelpedcheermeuplastnight.”

“We’regonnagodrinkingafterthisshitisover,”Jonessaid.“Mytreat.”

GiggaveCarolineabigbearhug,completingtheaffectiontrifecta.“Howyadoing?”

“Imissyouguys,”Carolinesaid.“Youneedtovisitmoreoften.”

“Ithasn’tbeenthatlong,”Jonespointedout.“YoucanalwayscometoBaltimore.”

“Iknow.Ijustmissyou.”

JonesandCrunchhadgottenanapartmentneartheInnerHarbor.Theyseemedtobegettingby.Gig

hadgonebacktoChicagotorunaprivatesecurityfirm.Funnyhowsomanythingshadhappenedina

matterofweeks.Lifekeptchangingandshecouldn’tkeepupwithit.Shewashappytobebackinthe

UnitedStatesbuthadn’tanticipatedhowmuchshe’dwishshecouldtakeeveryonewithherwhenshe

camehome.MaybeshecouldaskJackiftheyallcouldstayinthemansioninPhiladelphiaoncethey

completedtheinevitablerenovationsthatwouldhavetotakeplace.CarolinespontaneouslygaveJones

anotherhug.

“Doyoumissmemostofall?”heasked.

“Yeah.”

“FuckingA.”HepumpedhisfistandturnedtoCrunch.“ThatmakesmetheScarecrow.”

“I’mtheTinMan,”Gigsaid.

“Yup,”Carolineagreed.

“Sonofabitch.”CrunchshovedJones.“YoumademethegoddamnCowardlyLion?”

“Hey,man.”Jonessoundedoffended.“Don’tshoveme,shoveher.Notmyfaultshelikesmebetter.”

CarolinenudgedCrunchplayfully.“YouknowIloveyou.”

Crunchnudgedherback.“Yeah,Iknow.”

Giggrinned.“TheCowardlyLionisn’tsobad.Hehascourage.You’vegotatonofthat.”

“Youalldo,”Carolinesaid.“JackandIwouldn’tbehereifitweren’tforyou.”

“Hear,hear.”Natalieraisedanimaginaryglass.

“IsAuntChrissygoingtogetussoon?”Sophieasked.“I’dratherwanderaroundtheEastRoomthan

listentoallofyourinsidejokes.”

“Arewethatintolerable?”Carolinesaid.

Margueritewinkedathermother.“Wearecountingtheminutesuntilwecanleave.”

Shemighthavesoundedmildlyannoyed,butCarolineknewherdaughterlovedbeingintheheartof

Americangovernment.Therewereplentyofthingstoworkon.Federalofficeshadtoberebuilt.New

SupremeCourtJusticeshadtobeappointed,temporaryCabinetpositionsassigned.Stategovernorshad

toappointtemporarymembersofCongress.TheelectionscheduledforNovemberincludedalmostevery

availableHouseandSenateseat.Christinehadjuggleditallwithashort-termCongressandadearthof

qualifiedpeople.CarolineandJackoccasionallyofferedassistancewhenasked,butneitheronefelt

comfortabletakingonalargerole.ThiswasChristine’sshow.Theywantedabreak.

“I’msuresomeonewillbeintoretrieveussoon,”Carolinesaid.

Ofcourse,theinstantshesaidthatChristinepokedherheadinthedoor.“They’reassemblingthe

pressintheEastRoom.Astafferwillbehereshortlytoleadyouin.”

“Whataboutyou?”

“Igetintroducedallbymyself.Jealous?”

Carolinedecidedtomesswithherlightmood.Justalittle.“No,”shesaid.“Incrediblyproud.”

“Honestly,Punky.Youdothatonpurpose.”

“IndeedIdo.”

“Theroomisfullofcameras.Readytofaceyouradoringpress?”

ThepresidentmayhaveforgiventhemediabutCarolinewasnotsogracious.SheandJackhadbeen

bombardedwithrequestsforinterviewsandthey’ddeclinedthemall.Maybesomeday.Ormaybeshe’d

justwriteamemoirandbedonewithit.She’dbedamnedifshe’dletthemcontrolhernarrative.“Don’t

remindme.”

Christinestraightenedherhair.“DoIlookallright?”

Likeshedidn’talwayslookincrediblybeautiful.“Itdoesn’tmatter.”CarolinesqueezedJack’supper

arm.“Weallknowwhothey’reherefor.”

Christinesatdowninoneofthechairsinthecorner,pullingafewnotecardsfromherjacket.“Ifyou

don’tmind,IhavetochangethisspeechtomakesureIdon’taccidentallysayanythingniceaboutyou.”

Margueritehandedherapen.“I’llhelp.”

TheEastRoomwascrowded,thepresscorpssilent.Carolinetriedtoignorethecameras.Jack

lookeduncomfortable.Hehadtobe.FDRrefusedtobephotographedinawheelchair,andJackwas

likelyconfrontingalotofthesamefeelings.Hewouldn’talwaysneedtouseit;whenhewasathome,he

usedacaneorsimplyhobbledfromroomtoroom.Butwhenlongdistanceswereinvolved,hewasforced

toutilizethechair.Despitehisexuberantmood,hedespisedhavingtouseit.Carolinehadcaughthim

kickingthewheelsinfrustrationonmorethanoneoccasion,usuallyafterabrutalphysicaltherapy

session.

Shereachedforhishand,andhekissedthebackofit.“Nervous?”shewhispered.

“Notachance.”

ThedoorstotheEastRoomopened,andChristinewasannounced.Howcheesy.Shewasprobably

lovingeveryminuteofthepompandcircumstance.

“Helpme,”Jacksaid.“Iwanttostand.”

Hedidn’thavetodothat.Christineunderstood.“Jack-”

“Helpmestandforher.”

Carolineleanedoverandputherarmaroundhiswaist,helpinghimtohisfeet.Hestoodproudand

strong,thoughshesawhisinjuredlegshakingslightly.Shetightenedhergrip.“You’resittingdownas

soonasshegetshere.”

“I’lldowhatIwant,sweetheart.”

Itwasn’twortharguingover.Sheknewwhyhewantedtostandandwouldn’ttakethatmomentaway

fromhim.Notevenifitmeantthatlatertonightshe’dbeicinghislegandhe’dbedoinghisbestto

convinceherhewasn’tinpain.

Christinecrossedthestage,shakingalloftheirhandsinturn.Shepulledhereditednotecardsoutof

herjacketpocket,steppingtothepodium.

“Well,”shesaid.“It’stimethesededicatedAmericansgettherecognitiontheydeserve.Shallwe?”

Epilogue

FiveMonthsLater

Carolinesatupinbed,watchingtheriseandfallofhischest.Shedidthatsometimes.Morethan

sometimes.Moreoftenthanshe’dcaretoadmit,atleasttoJack.Shehadahardtimesleeping,though

they’dreturnedtothesecurityoftheirestateinPhiladelphia.Thenightmaresstillcame,exceptnowthey

weremostlyaboutherhusband.AndtheOvalOffice.InallthetimesshevisitedChristine,shecouldn’t

quitebringherselftoenterthatroom.Chrissyunderstood.Sheherselfhadtemporarilyrelocatedtothe

EastWingforthefirstfewmonthsshewasintheWhiteHouse,toohauntedbywhathadhappenedonthe

othersideofthebuilding.

PowellandMurdockwerestillawaitingtrialinTheHague,whichgaveCarolinegoodreasontosee

atherapistregularly.Arealone,asshejokinglytoldNatalie.TohergreatjoyNataliehadmovedtoNew

YorkCity,soshewasashorttrainorcarrideaway.Nataliewasfinallycompletingherresidencyat

Columbia.Shehadn’tcompletelygottenoverMark,saidshewasn’treadyforarelationship,butCaroline

knewshe’dmoveoneventually.

SheplacedherhandonJack’sstomach.Hedidn’tstir.Nowadayshesleptsounderthansheever

could.Thepainmedshelped.Hishairhunglazilyoverhiseyes,butitwasn'tenoughtowakehimup.She

brusheditawayanyway,curlingtowardhimandwrappingherarmaroundhiswaist.Sheclosedhereyes,

mighthavedriftedoffforamoment,untilshefeltbothofhisarmscirclingher.

“Goodmorning,”hesaid.

Sheyawned.“Goodmorning.”

Hetuckedonearmunderthebackofhishead.“WhydoIgetthefeelingyou’vebeenawakefora

while?”

“You'vebeenwatchingmesleepforyears.ThoughtI'dreturnthefavor.”

“WereyouafraidI'drunaway?”

Shedidn'tlikewhenhemadeself-effacingjokeslikethat.Notwhenhecouldn’tevenjogyet.“Of

coursenot.”

Jackrolledovertogetoutofbedandshewasinstantlyathisside.“Caroline,really,”hesaid.“I

don'tneedyourhelp.”

Hedidn'tsay'notanymore,'butshehearditanyway.Monthsofrehabilitationhadproducedpositive

resultsbutherhusbandusuallywalkedwithacane.Thespecialistsdidn'tknowhowmanysurgeriesit

wouldtakeorwhetherthey'devergettheresultsJackwanted.

Shesupposedshecouldcountherblessingsthattheywerestillabletoengageinasmuchadventurous

sexastheydid.Notthatitmatteredtoher.Theycouldhavefoundawayaroundit.Jacksaidhedidn’t

carehowmuchmobilityhegotback,aslongashecouldkneeldownbetweenherlegsforextended

periodsoftime.Carolinewouldhavefoundsuchastatementflattering,excepthesaiditinfrontofhis

doctorduringtheirlastofficevisit.

Shewashopingthedoctorwouldforgetbythenexttimetheysawhim.Wasthatsomethinghe’dputin

hisnotes?Maybeshewouldskipthatappointment.Shecouldfindaplausibleexcuse.AlthoughJackwas

maleenoughthatshealmosthadtobethere,tooafraidhewouldn’tverbalizehisconcernsonhisown.He

wasaproudman,convincedhisbodywantedtodomorethanitcould.Hisambitiousviewofhislevelof

physicalactivitywouldneedafewmoresurgeriestocometofruition.

Intheend,itwasimmaterial.Whenevertheyencounteredfrictionshe’djusttellherselftheonething

thatalwayskepthergoing.He’salive.We’rebothalive.

“Getreadyfortheday,”hesaid.“I’mnotdoingmyweightsalone.”

Hehardlyeverdid.Shewasmorethanhappytospendthetimewithhim,evenwhenhewasyelling,

whenhewasfrustrated,whenhewasspoutingprofanityafterprofanityinanefforttogetthroughallhis

repetitions.Carolinethrewherhairbackinaponytail.“Fantastic.Let’sgetitoutofthewaybeforethe

girlsgetup.”

They’dspentanungodlyamountofmoneyrenovatingtheirestate.Ithadn’tbeeninterribleshape

whentheymovedin,butCarolinewanteditfittedtoaccommodateJack’severchangingcondition.They

tooktheballroomdowntothestudsandconverteditintoagiantmastersuitewithwalk-inclosets,a

well-apportionedbathroom,andalargeareaforphysicaltherapy.Atherapistcameinthreedaysaweek;

otherwise,itwasuptoCarolinetokeepJackmotivated.Shediditthroughpositivereinforcement,buthe

hadhismoments.Ifhesnappedathershe’dsnapback,andhe’dgetthemessageprettyquickly.Shehada

feelinghewouldn’tsnapathertoday.

TheirbathroomhadJackandJilldoors,withoneleadingtothemasterbedroomandtheotherleading

tothetherapyroom.Anadditionalstudylaybeyondtheirbedroom.Carolinehopedthetherapyroom

wouldsoonjustbeaworkoutroom,butthatwaslikelymonthsoryearsdowntheroad.

“Whydon’tyoutrywalkingwithoutthecane?”sheasked.“It’snotlong.”

Hegaveheraskepticallook.“You’regoingtopushitalready?”

“Mayaswellgetyoumadsoyoucanmakeituptomelater.”

Herestedhiscaneagainstthewallnexttothenightstand.“Fine.”

Shehelpedhim.Hedidn’tcomplain,didn’ttellhertostop.Butherhelpwasconstantlychanging.A

fewmonthsagohe’dhadtoleanonherforsupport,andherbackwouldhurtforhoursafterward.But

todayheonlytookherhand,occasionallybalancinghimselfonthebathroomvanityortheshowerrailing.

Standingunsteadilyastheybothbrushedtheirteeth,washedtheirfaces,wentthroughthemorningrefresh.

Ittookafewminutestogettothefirstmachine.

“Armsfirst?”sheasked.

Hegrumbledsomethingshecouldn’tmakeout.Notagoodstart.

“Holdon,”shesaid,andretrievedtwohatsfromthebedroom.“Putthison.”

“JesusChrist,”hesaid.“Whatisthis?”

Shemaneuveredhimontothefirstmachine,ploppingtheredandwhitehatontohishead.“You’re

Santa,I’mtheelf,”shesaid.

“SincewhendoelvesgettobossSantaaround?”heasked.“Iwantthegreenhat.”

Carolinekissedhim.“Don’tbeobstinate.Santaknowsbetterthantobenaughty.”

Hepattedherassaffectionately.“IfIdomyexercises,willthehelperelfsitonmylapandtellme

whatshewants?”

Shesmiledathim.“IalreadyhaveeverythingIwant.”

Jackstoodup.“Idon’t,”hesaidsoftly,andpulledherintoanembrace.“MerryChristmas,

sweetheart.”

“Youhaveyourworkout,”shesaid.

“Itcanwait.”Hekissedher.“Ihaveadifferentwaytoworkout.”

Hmm.“Havewedoneitinthisroomyet?”

Hetuggedatherpajamatop.“Ifyoudon’tknowtheanswertothatquestion,weclearlyhaven’tdone

enoughtochristenthishomewithourhighlyquestionableamorousactivity.”

Hemisunderstoodher.“No,”shesaid.“We’vebeenmovingfromroomtoroomsofrequentlythatI

don’tremember.”

Jackledherovertooneofthechairsinthecorner,plunkingherdownonhislap.“Haveyoubeena

goodgirlthisyear?”

“Ithinkso,”shesaid.“IsavedAmericandemocracy.Isthatgood?”

“Isuppose.”

Shekissedhisneck.“Otherthanthat,Idon’tknowifI’vedoneanythingnotable.”

Hishandsmovedsteadilydownhertorso,aroundherwaist,toherthighs.“Haveyoubeennaughty

too?”

Sheslidafingerunderhiswaistband.“Always,”shemurmuredagainsthislips.

Jackpulledherpajamatopoff.“ThisisthekindoftherapyIlove.”

Carolineshiftedonhislapuntilshewasstraddlinghiswaist.Armwork,legwork,breakfast,piles

andpilesofpresents…theycouldwaitforaslongasittook.Sheunbuttonedhisshirt.“Metoo.”

“Workedupanappetite,”Jacksaid.“I’llmakeyouandthegirlschocolatechippancakes.”

Sherubbedatowelacrosshishead,dryinghishair.“Thejointshowerwasnice.Yousore?”

Hegrabbedherhand,kissingthebackofit.“Alittle.Armdayisabitch.”

“It’llgetbetter,”shesaid,pickingupabrush.“WillyouweartheSantahatatbreakfast?”

Jacksatsedatelyasshefixedhishair.“Onlyifyou’remylittleelfagain.”

Shehandedhimasweater.“Getdressed.I’llwakethegirls.”

Mid-morningandherchildrenwerestillasleep.My,howholidayhabitsevolvedastheyearswent

on.Twoteenagerswhowouldstayupuntilthebreakofdawnonlytocatchafewhoursofsleep

afterward.

MargueriteandSophiehadtakenoverthenewlydecoratedsecondfloor.MuchtoCaroline’schagrin,

MohadforegoneanapplicationtoNotreDameinlieuofVillanova.Probablybecauseherstepfatherwas

abletopullafewstringstogetheradmittedatthelastminute.Shesaidshewantedtobeclosetofamily,

whichwasquitetouchingbutJackstillrubbeditineveryonceinawhile.IfCarolinehadbeensmarter

aboutit,sheshouldhavetriedtosellthekidonTempleorLaSalle.

Margueritespentherfirstsemesterofcollegeinthedormsbutwasweighingheroptionsforthenext

academicyear.ShecamehomeeverySundayfordinner,moreoftenifshewasfeelinghomesick.Shewas

tryingtohaveasnormalacollegeexperienceaspossible,whichwasadmirableconsideringthatjust

abouteveryoneknewwhoherparentswere.Carolinewasdeterminedtokeepherhumble.

Sophiesettledinatalocalprivateschool,performinginthefallproductionofGuysandDolls.She

foundhervoicethroughartandmadeaneclecticgroupoffriends.Allthingsconsidered,Caroline’s

daughterswereaboutaswelladjustedascouldbeexpected,althoughtheywerealsoseeinga

psychiatrist.Itcouldn’thurt.

Whenshewasn’tintreatment,Carolinedistractedherselfbywriting.Shewasn’treadytoputher

experiencesatTheFedintoamemoir,butpoetryandfictiongaveheraninexplicablereleasefromstress.

She’dtakenonpaintingaswell,expressingheranger,frustration,andgriefusingvibrantcolorsset

againstdarkbackgrounds.Herpaintingswereprobablyasymbolforsomething.She’dhavetoaskher

therapist.

Carolinedecidedtobeasobnoxiousaspossible,knockingonbothoftheirdoorsasloudlyasshe

could.“Riseandshine,”shecalled.“Breakfastwon’tmakeitself.”

Sleepyeyesandafewgrumbles,butitdidn’ttakelongforthemtostumbleintothekitchen.They

almostinstantlystartedhelpingJackassembletheingredientsforthepancakes.ThiswaswhatCaroline

needed.Thiswasherhome.Butshehadmorethanafewthingstoaccomplishonthisholiday.

“Speeditup,guys,”shesaid.“I’mmeetingthepresidentinanhour.”

Abrisk,cold,sunnyChristmasmorning.Ithadsnowedalmosteverydaythepastweekandtherewas

asolidsixinchesontheground.Carolinetrudgedthroughthesnowcoveredgrass,acrossthecemetery.

ShesawthecarsparkedaroundtheEpiscopalchurchinthedistance.Lastserviceofthemorning.

Carolinedidn’tthinkaboutGodallthatmuchanymore,butshehopedhewaswithhertoday.

TheSecretServicestoodclusteredinthedistance,whichmeantChristinehadalreadyarrived.

Carolinehadneverbeentothisplacebefore,butwhenherbestfriendaskedforemotionalsupportshe

gaveit.Shedrewclosertotheagents,whowavedherpastthem.

Twoheadstones,markingsiteswherenobodieslay.Therehadbeenasmallmemorialceremonyat

theWhiteHouseafterSusannahreturnedfromFrance,butChristinewantedsomethingmorepermanent.

Herdaughtervisitedthesiteeverynowandagain,plantingflowers,layingwreaths,whateverseemed

appropriate.Carolinehadneverbeenthere.Untilnow.Shekneltdownandbrushedthedebrisoffthe

markersasChristinelaidasmallbouquetofflowersacrosseachstone.

“Goodmorning,Caroline,”shesaid.“It’scold.Ihopeyoudidn’tsoakthroughyourjeans.”

Mysteriouslymaternalaversion.“Doyouwantmetogiveyoumoretimealone?”Carolineasked.

Christinesqueezedherhand.“No.I’dratherhaveyouhere.Theyturnedoutrathernicely,don’tyou

think?”

Thenameswerespelledoutincursive,bothsetabovetheSullivanfamilycoatofarms.Thomas

DesmondSullivan.JessicaSiobhanSullivan.

“Heforcedmetogiveherthatmiddlename,”Christinesaid,shakingherfingeratJessica’s

memorial.“ItgrewonmeafterawhilebutIhateditforalong,longtime.”

“Ilikeit.Ilikethecresttoo.Lamhfoistenachabu,”Carolineread.“IsthatGaelic?”

“Thefamilymotto,”Christinesaid.“Thereareseveraldifferenttranslationsbutit’straditionally

understoodtomean‘thegentlehandtovictory.’”SherearrangedtheflowersonTom’sheadstone.“It

seemedappropriate.”

Carolinegaveheralittlehug.“Itis.”

Christineheldoutherwrist,drawingbackhercoatsleeve.“GavemyselfalittleChristmaspresent.I

hadthisadjustedsoIcouldwearit.StillabitlargebutIdon’tcare.”

Carolinelookedcloser.Tom’swatch.“Itlooksperfect.”

“Imissthem,”Christinewhispered,asmallsobescapingherlips.

ShegaveChrissyanotherhug,anddidn’tbotherlettinggo.“Imissthemtoo.Butthey’rewatching

overyou.Overus.Theyalwayshave.”

Theydidn’tspeakagainuntiltheyheardthesoundofbellscarriedtothecemeterybythewind.The

morningservicehadended.

“Susannahistryingtogetmetogooutwithoneoftheolderpartnersatherfirm,”Christinesaid.“He

remindsherofThomas.”

“Doyouthinkyou’rereadyforthat?Imean,emotionally?”

“Idon’tknow.”Christinegaveherasmallsmile.“Ithinkhe’sscaredtogooutwithme.”

“Whatmakesyouthinkthat?”

Shelookedatthewatchagain.“JustavibeIgetfromSusannah.”

Carolineshrugged.“He’sprobablyafraidyou’llcuthisdickoff.”

“Caroline!”sheadmonished.“Language!We’reinacemetery.ThatEpiscopalGodovertherecan

probablyhearyoutoo.”

“Ifhe’sanythinglikeCatholicGod,Ithinkhe’susedtomebynow.ButI’llcleanitupforyou.He’s

probablyafraidyou’llcutoffhismember.”

“Better.Doyouthinkhe’llfindmeintimidating?Thomasneverdid.”

“Let’ssee.You’reabrasiveashellandyou’reasoontobeformerPresidentoftheUnitedStates.

Whyonearthwouldhebeintimidatedbythat?”

Christineleanedinforahug.Shehadgottensomuchbetteratthatnow,especiallyaftermeetingher

grandchildrenforthefirsttime.Spontaneousdisplaysofaffectionhadbecomecommonplace.“Iloveyou,

youknow.”

Carolinetweakedherscarf.“Ido.”

Christineheldontoherforalongtimebeforepullingawayandwipinghereyes.“Wecangonow.”

Theyhadn’tbeenthereformorethanahalfanhour.Itwascoldbutnotunbearable.“Wecanstay

longerifyouwant.”

“Iwanttogo.You’regoingtoneedhelpmakingthatbigChristmasmeal.”Shesniffled.“Icancome

backwheneverIneedto.”

ShehadafewmoreweeksbeforeRogerBaileywouldbesworninasthenew,legitimatelychosen

President-elect.Asashowofgoodwillandrespect,he’dofferedBrianCapwellhischoiceofpositions

inhisadministration.Ithadbeenacloseelectionbutforthefirsttimeinaslongasanyonecould

remember,itwasrelativelyclean,positive,andfocusedonpolicyasopposedtopersonality.Caroline

hadhighhopesthatBaileycouldundothedamagedonebySantos.Someofitmightnevercometopass

butgoodpeoplewereboundanddeterminedtotry.

“Trafficfromthechurchhasclearedout,”Carolineobserved.

They’dbothskippedMassthepreviousevening.Allofthemhad.Noneedtokeepupappearances.

Theycouldgobackwhentheywereready,ifthatdaycame.

“Yes,”Christinesaid.“Shouldmypeoplefollowyourpeople?”

“Youmean,shouldyourofficialsuperspeciallimofollowmyratherordinaryNissanbacktomy

altogethergarishestate?”

Christinetookherhand,smilingatherastheywalkedtotheircars.“Worksforme,”shesaid.“Icall

themashedpotatoes.”

Susannah,Jacob,andthetwinsspentChristmasatJackandCaroline’salongwithChristine.

Christine’srelationshipwithSusannah’shusbandhadwarmedtothepointthatshewasquitenicetoJacob

duringtheafternoonandevening.Susannah’schildrenwerejusttoddlers,burstingwithenergy.Sophiegot

akickoutofthemandSusannahappreciatedthebreak.WhenSusannahandJacobpackedupthekidsand

saidtheirgoodbyes,Christinemanagedtoslipoutthedooraswell,promisingCarolineshe’dswingby

thenextdaysotheycouldspendmorequalitytimetogether.She’dgivenCarolineTom’sNotreDame

letterjacketandahostofothercollectibles,makingacrypticstatementabouthowshesuspectedCaroline

wouldfindanappropriateplaceforthem.

EventhoughChristine’stermwouldendafterbarelysevenmonthsinoffice,anumberofactivists

groupshadsolicitedherforspeakingengagements,andshewaslikelytobeoutofstateoffandonfor

muchofthenewyear.RequestshadbeenpouringinforCarolineandJackaswell,buttheyhadturned

themalldown.Sofar.

CarolinehadconsumedfartoomuchMoscato,andMargueriteandSophiehadstuffedthemselves

withcookiesandpie.Buttheystillhadafewpresentstoopen.SheandJackhadtoldthegirlsnottoget

themanything.Asidefromanupdatedfamilyphoto,theydidn’tneedanythingelse.MoandFeefhad

remainedtightlipped.Carolinewasconvincedtheywereuptosomething,especiallyafterthey’dspent

sometimehiddenawaywithSusannahinthelibraryafterChristmasdinner.

Newlaptopsforthegirls.Somenewclothes.AndCarolinehadrathercomicallyplacedasmallcard

insideagiantbox,whichMargueriteallowedSophietoopen.

Shepulledoutthecardandreadit.“Adog?”sheasked.“Really?”

“Really.Whateverkindyouwant,butI’mverypro-shelterdogs,soyouknow.”

Sophiethrewherarmsaroundher.“Iwantapuppy.Idon’tcareifit’samutt.I’lltakecareofit.”

“You’dbetter,”Jacksaid.“I’mnotwalkingadamndogacrossthegroundsinthewinter.Pup’sgonna

havetolearnthatsnowiscoldonhisown.”

“Oh,we’llneedpuppypads,andtoys,and…ohmyGodthisisgoingtobesomuchfun!”

“Calmdown,Soph.Ibetthepoundisn’tevenopenuntilliketwodaysfromnow.Breathe.”

Margueriteslidanenvelopefromunderthetree.“WehavetogivemomandJacktheirpresent.”She

handedittoJack.“It’smoreforyoubutIthinkmomwillappreciateittoo.”

Interesting.“Whatevercoulditbe?”Carolineasked.

Jackslidhisfingeracrosstheseal.“Onlyonewaytofindout.”Hetookastackofpapersout,

examiningthembeforehandingthemtoCaroline.Hedidn’tspeak.

“Jack?”sheaskedsoftly.

“Justlook,”Sophiesaid.

Shewasn’tpracticinganymore,butCarolinecouldwhipherwaythroughlegaldocumentswhenshe

neededto.“Theseareconsentforms,”shesaid,turningtoJack.Hehadhishandoverhiseyes.“I-”

Margueritecrouchedonthefloornexttothecouch.“It’sprobablyjustaformality.Ijustthought-”

“Wethought,”Sophiecorrected.“Itwasmyideatoo.AndSusannahhelped.”

“Wewantyoutoadoptus,”Margueritesaid.“Ifthat’sallright.”

Hehadn’tspokenbutwasbreathingheavily.“Jack?”Carolinewhispered.“Areyouokay?”

Hebroughthisheadup.Thereweretearsinhiseyes.“ImustsayIdidn’texpectthisatall.”

Sophiegrinned.“Wefiguredwe’dtakeyoubysurprise.”

Itwouldindeedbeaformalitybutanimportantsymbolicgesture.CarolineandJackhadconsidered

doingitthemselvesafterthey’dgottenmarriedandupdatedtheirwills.Intheendthey’ddecidedagainst

itbecausetheydidn’twanttodiminishthegirls’relationshipwithNicky.Buttimeandexperiencehada

wayofchangingperspectives.

“I’mdamnsurprised,I’llgiveyouthat.”Jackwipedhiseyes.“Areyousurethisiswhatyoureally

want?”

“Well,Ireservemyrighttochangemymindduringthehearing-”MargueriteyelpedwhenSophiehit

herarm.“ButIdoubtthatwillhappen.”

“I’mnotyourfather.Iwouldneverwanttotakehisplace.I-”

“Weknow,”Sophiesaid.“Butyou’reourdadineverywaythatcounts.Daddywouldunderstand.It’s

whathe’dwanttoo,I’msureofit.”

JackturnedtoCaroline.“Areyouonboardwiththis,sweetheart?”

Carolinebitherlip.“Ididn’tknowtheywereplanningthis,ifthat’swhatyou’reasking.ButI’min

supportofitifyouare.”

Thegirlsbothleanedinforhugs,andJackletalittlesniffleout.“I’mverymuchinfavorofit.Thank

you.”

Margueritekissedhischeek.“MerryChristmas.”SheturnedtoSophie.“Theybothcried.Youowe

metenbucks.”

“Don’truinagoodmoment,”Sophiesaid,snugglinginbetweenherparents.“Thisisthebest

Christmasever.”

Carolinecouldn’tthinkofanyreasontodisagree.

Afterafewmoretearsandalotmoreconversation,thegirlsslunkofftobedaftergorgingoncandy

canesandcookies.CarolineandJackretiredtothelibrary,whichwasstillherfavoriteroominthehouse.

Ithadn’tbeeninterribleshapewhentheymovedin,buttheyrenovatedanyway.Thecherrywoodshonea

littlebrighter,thepianowastuned,thefireplacelit.Shewaslookingforwardtosomelightreadingbefore

retiringtoherownbedroom.

“Earlynight,”Carolinesaid.“Wemusthavewornthemout.”

“Isuspecttheywentupstairssowecouldhavesometimealone.”

Shearchedaneyebrow.“Whatdidyouhaveinmind?Ileftmyelfhatupstairs.”

“Closeyoureyes,”Jacksaid.“Timetoreviveanoldtradition.”

Shedidn’tneedanymorejewelry.Shehadenough.Hewouldn’thavedonethat,wouldhe?“Jack-”

“Indulgeme.”Heguidedheracrossthelibrary.Itwasashortwalk.“Openyoureyes,”hesaid.

Theywerestandinginfrontofthedoortohisoldstudy.“What’sgoingon?”

“YouhavetheleastpatienceofanyoneI’veevermet.I’llhaveyouknowthatIshowedthisto

Christineearliertodayandsheapproves.”

“Isthatgoodorbad?”Carolineasked.

“Youtellme.Closeyoureyesagain.”

Maybeheshouldhaveblindfoldedher.Allhisdirectionswereapain.Hepulledherthroughthe

door,towardthemiddleoftheroom.Hesqueezedhershoulders.“Openthem,”hesaidsoftly.

Carolinelookedaroundtheroomandgasped.Thewallswerecoveredfromalmostfloortoceiling

withpictures,magazinecovers,plaques,andbaseballjerseys.PicturesofherandJack,ofherandNicky

andthegirls,ofChristineandTomandJess.JenandKatieandEllen.AgreatshotofCarolineandBobat

acampaignstop.Herfavoritepiecesofcorrespondence.MementosfromhertimeinBaltimoreasastate

prosecutor,andfromherstintasafederalprosecutor.Herdiplomasandawards,includingher

CongressionalGoldMedalandbothpresidentialcommendations.Bookshelvesfilledwithsports

memorabiliaandherfavoritenovelsandnonfiction.HerbelovedWrigleyFieldturnstilewassetupinthe

corneroftheroom.Afewjerseyshungonmannequins,withoneleftempty.PerfectforaNotreDame

letterjacket.

Shebitherlip.“Jack,wheredidyou–how?”

“IwentthroughthehouseinRockville,”hesaid.

Carolinehadrefusedtogoinsideafterseeingtheconditionthelivingroomandentrywayhadbeenin.

Ithadhurttoomuch.SheandSophiehadsprawledoutonthegrassinthefrontyardtryingnottocrywhile

MargueriteandJackhadtakenaquicklookaround,declaringthehomeunlivable.Ithadsolidifiedher

decisiontorelocatepermanentlytoPhiladelphia.TheymaintainedtheirbrownstoneinD.C.but

Washingtonheldverylittleappealtoher.

Sheputherhandoverhermouth.“ButIthought-”

“MoandIwentbackandrummagedthroughthedebris.Wesavedwhatwecould.IgotMarquetteand

NotreDametosendmenewdiplomas.”

He’dpackedalotintooneroom.Shecouldspendhoursgettinglostinallthatmemorabilia.Allthose

memories.SheabsentlytappedthetopofaCubsbobbleheadsittingononeofthebookshelves.“Thisis

veryimpressive.”

Jackbroughthisarmsaroundherfrombehind.“Itwashard.Alotofthingsweredestroyed.Ihadto

recreatesomephotos.Ihopethisisokay.Idon’twanttomakeyousad.”

“It’swonderful,”Carolinesaid,blinkingbacktears.“Idon’tknowwhattosay.”

“I’llgiveyouahint.You’rewelcome,Caroline.”

Shesmiled.“Thankyou,Jack.”

Hesoundedself-assuredbutlookedalittlenervous.“Pleasesayyoulikeit.”

“Iloveit,”shewhispered.

“Evenbetter.”

“It’sthemostmagnificentthingI’veeverseen.”

“I’vealwaysgivenyoujewelryonChristmas.ThisyearIwantedtodosomethingdifferent.

Somethingtrulyvaluable.”

“You’veoutdoneyourself.”Shewasstillatalossforwords.“Imayneverleavethisroom.”

“Youcanstayhereeverydayaslongasyouendupinbedwithmeatnight.”

Shecouldcertainlyagreetothat.“Deal.”

“Iwantyoutocomeinherewheneveryoustarttoforgetwhoyouareandwhoyou’regoingto

become.”Jackkissedthebackofherhead.“We’velostalotbutwehaveeachother.Wehaveourfamily.

Andallinall,Ihopeyoufeelyou’velivedameaningfullife.Youhavesomuchmoretodo,sweetheart.

Andtimetodoit.Webothdo.”

Carolineturnedtofacehim.He’drecoverphysically.She’drecovermentally.Thegirlswouldgrow

andmatureandbecomeremarkablewomen.Theywerecompleteatlast.They’dfillwhatoncewasa

large,impersonalhousewithenoughlovetomakeitthehomeitwasmeanttobe.“Iknow.”

Jackkissedherlefthand,justaboveherengagementring.Sheworeitallthetimenow,alongwith

heranniversaryband.Nowthatshefeltitwassafe.Nowthattheirliveshadstartedtoreturntonormal,

thoughtheywouldnevertrulybenormalagain.Itwasareminderofeverythingthey’dgonethrough

together.Shestillworehisweddingbandaroundherneck,andhehers.

“Iknowyouneverputmuchstockinhappyendings,”hesaidquietly.“Butdoyouthinkyoumightbe

willingtoseeifwecanmakeourown?”

Shewassafehere,withhim.Safe,andstrong,andohsoloved.Hewhisperedthosewordsinherear

whenheheldherinhisarmsatnight.Exceptnowheknewshewasn’tasleep,knewsheheardeveryword

astheytangledthemselvesupineachotherdespitetheirphysicalandemotionalwounds.Carolineknew

thathewouldspendtherestofhisdaysmakingsuresheneverforgotanyofthosethings.

Shethrewherarmsaroundhisneckandkissedhim.“Absolutely,”shewhispered.

TheEnd

Acknowledgments

IfanyofyouwerewonderingwhatChristinetoldCarolinewhenshegaveherthemedal…I’llnever

tell.

Justkidding!Shesaid,“SaintMichael,protectmywarriorsister.”Apparentlyhedid.

I’mnotevensurewheretobegin…sincethishasbeensuchalongjourney.IstartedwritingThe

BellatorSagainNovember2013.Itstartedoutasonebook,thenthree,thensix…allbecauseJackand

Carolinekepttalkingtome.

Andnow,overthreeyearslater,we’vereachedtheend.Ican’tsayI’llneverrevisittheworldthese

vibrantcharactersinhabit;allofthemhavebecomeembeddedinmysoulandIdoubtI’llbeableto

completelyletthemgo.

Astimehaspassedthebookshavetakenongreatersignificance,notonlybecauseofcurrentevents

butbecauseofthewaythatpeoplehaverespondedtothesaga.ForthisIameternallygrateful…butthere

areafewpeopleImustthankpersonally.IhopeIdidn’tleaveanyoneout!Therearealotofyouwho

havehelpedoutininnumerableways,andIadoreyouforit.Anyoversightisunintentional.

First,toJxandDeanna(myPinkLadies,LOL!),Rachael,Sybil,Liz,Kimmy,Terri,TeriLyn,and

everyoneelsewhohaseverbetareadanypartoftheseries…yourfeedbackwasinvaluable.Theseriesis

whatitisbecauseyouhelpedmeorganizemythoughtsandenhancetheplotwhenneeded.Youlovedmy

charactersenoughtoimprovethem,andthatisprecioustome.Simplyreferringtoyouasbetasdoesn’t

seemenough.Youaremynitpickiestcritics(lookingatyou,Jx!),mysnarkiestanalysts(KimmyandSybil,

bingo),themostawesometableassistants(RachaelandLiz),mystorystructuremanagers(Terri,Deanna,

andTeriLyn),andthecheerleadersIneededwhenIwasindoubt.ToMonica(myWonderTwin),whodid

myeditingforfree.

ToSuzanne,whoforcedKatytoreadmybooks.Iadoreyouboth.ToDee,Ihopeyoukeepenjoying

mybooksandmycookies…they’reoftenslowtocomebutthey’reworthit,right?ToJeanmyfellowlaw

talkinggal,I’msogladyouclickedonthatFacebookad.I’mprettysureyou’retheonlypersonthey

workedon,LMAO!ToKristen,youdescribemybooksbetterthanIevercould.Wehavetomeetin

personsoIcanactallawkwardlygrateful.ToJaime,whosharesmyundyingdevotiontoToriSpelling.

Somedayotherswillrealizewe’reright.TomyPusheen,CarolSales,everytimeIseePusheenJackI

thinkofyou!

ToCarolAllen,Shelley,Danielle,Dianne,Mercedes,Samantha,April,Pavi,Zetti,Natalie,Rose,

MoonshineBecky,Elle,Kay,Myla,Tana,Annie,Ninnie,Tesrin,Kim,Gill,Veronica,Shirley,Margaret,

Claudia,Letty,Brandi,ElizabethClinton,KikiChatfield,andanyonewho’severbeenaRebelWarrioror

aStealthBomberorpermanentpimper,yourfriendshipandsupportmeantheworld.

Tomyhusband,whohastoleratedmycrankinessandmyschleppingofparentaldutiessoIcould

write,youaremyNicky.Andtomykiddos,whosenamesImanagedtoworkintothisfinalbookjust

because.Youarethelightofmylife,butyou’renotallowedtoreadmommy’sstoriesuntilyou’refifty.

ToLucy,whokeepsmeonmytoesandmakesmeabetterwriterandperson,Iamsogratefulforyour

friendship.Youmahboo.PeoplecomeintoourlivesforareasonandIamsoverygladyoucameinto

mine.Thanksforthebackcoverquote!

Andlast,butcertainlynotleast…toIrene,who’sthereasonalotofthesefolksareinthe

acknowledgmentstobeginwith.Yourtirelesspromotionofmybooksexposedthemtocountlessnew

readers,andyourfriendshiphasmaintainednotonlymysanitybutmyfaith.Wordscannotexpresshow

muchIoweyou.WithoutyouIwouldnothavemykickassbetasormyquotablereviewersortheconstant

reminderthatIdidsomethingreallysupersignificant,evenifit’snotamoneymaker.IfAmericagoesto

shit,rememberthatyoupromisedmeandmyfamyoursparebedroom.

Ofcourse,tothoseofyouwhohavestuckwithmeuntiltheend…you’reawesome.JackandCaroline

loveyou,Iloveyou,andIhopesomedayIcancomeupwithastoryascaptivatingastheirs.ButI’m

takingabreakfirst,LOL!

Thissagahascrossedoverintometafictionattimes.IdidnotenvisionthiswhenIstartedwriting.It

hasreawakenedmycriticalthinkingandreinvigoratedmetousemyskillstoimprovethelivesofthose

aroundme.Vigilanceissorelyneededinthesetryingtimes.Idon’tneedtotellyoumypoliticalbeliefs;

thesebookslaythemoutprettyclearly.IamsuretherearesomeissuesonwhichIandmyreaderswould

disagree.ButIhopethatifyoutakeanythingawayfromJackandCaroline’sstory,itisthis:Beengaged.

Beinvolved.Questionyourleaders.Demandaccountability.Workforjustice.Mostofall,bekind.Be

ridiculously,ludicrouslykind.Wedon’tgettotakeanythingwithuswhenwedepartthisworld,somake

sureyouleaveitallonthefield.

Document Outline

Table of Contents
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter Twenty-Four
Chapter Twenty-Five
Chapter Twenty-Six
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Epilogue
The End
Acknowledgments

Wyszukiwarka

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