Triumph (The Bellator Saga Book 6)

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ChapterOne

Funny,thethingspeoplerecall.Carolineneverpaidmuchattentiontoappearancesbutremembered

thelittletouches.ThejewelryJackgaveher.Theweddingbandthathungaroundherneck.The

accessoriesChristinewouldpairwithheroutfits.Thewayasongorsmellorphrasecouldpokeata

memorylongsuppressedandbanishedtotheoutermostreachesofthesoul.

Shepulledthewatchoutofherpocket,runningherthumbovertheface.TomSullivanalwayswore

it.Always.EvenwhenplayingpickupbasketballwithJessandJackinhisbackyardorontheindoor

courtatJack’sestate.Afoolishthingsinceitwasanexpensivetimepiece,buthedidn’tcare.

Carolineturneditoverinherhand,readingtheinscriptionontheback.

ToTommy.Happyfiftiethbirthday.Allmylove,Dr.Spencer.

Ifshetriedvery,veryhard,shecouldignorethemockingvoiceechoingthroughhermind.Thetone

Murdockusedwhenhereaditoutloud.Affection,love,anddemonstrationsofeitherofthemweretrifles

tothatman.Awhirlpoolofemotionsswirledinherhead,threateningtopullherintotheundertow.

“Ibelieveyourchildrenarestillalive,”Powellrepeated.

Aterriblething,toloseachild.Anunspeakabletragedy.Thekindthatengenderedasympathetic

glancefromadetachedonlooker,maybeahalfheartedattemptatacondolence.Carolinehadbeenslowly

processinghersorrowforthepasttwoyears,andnotinthehealthiestofways.Powellwasofferinghera

lifeline.Oryankingheraroundagain.Itwaslikelythelatter.

Fuckkeepingcontrol.Shewasn’tabouttoletgrieftakeoverbutangercouldsureashellspringtothe

surface.Therewasnowaythismanwasgettinganothergoddamntearoutofher.“Iheardyouthefirst

fuckingtime,”shesnapped.

“Youdon’tseemallthathappytohearit,”hesaid.

Nomatterwhatshedid,somethingalwaysdraggedherbackintothemuck.Carolineremained

smotheredinthefearthathereffortstoclingtosanitywerefornaughtandsoonthethreadtyingherto

realitywouldbestretchedtightenoughtosnap.Powellwasawalkingdeception,aswampoftreachery.

Heknewherweaknesses,hadknownthemallalong.Andhewasexploitingthem.

“You’relying,”shesaid.

“I’mnot.”

Likeitwasthateasy.Likethey’dformedthesortofrelationshipwheretwotinywordscould

somehowovercomehours,days,weeksoftorture.HereyesdriftedtowardSchroeder,whowasleaning

againstthewall,tappinghisfingeragainsthislips.Fuck,hewasnohelpatall.Shewasonherown.Her

assistantwasn’tgoingtojointhisbattle.Notwhenhehadnodoginthefight.Hewouldn’tintervene

withoutgoodreason.Hewaswatching,listening.Analyzing.Heknewwhattobelieve,didn’the?He

couldn’tpossiblybebuyingthisharebrainedstory.

“WhyshouldIbelieveyou?”Carolineasked.

Powellsatupstraighter.“Ihavenoreasontodeceiveyou.”

“Youhaveamillionreasonstolie,yourlackofcharacterchiefamongthem.It’slikelytheonlyway

youknowhowtocommunicate.”

“That’snottrue.”

Hewincedalmosteverytimehespoke.Hewasuncomfortable.Carolinespottedabottleofpainpills

onthekitchenisland.Shewastemptedtodumpthemonebyonedownthedrain,justtorelishhis

reaction.“Youcouldn’thavesurvivedatTheFedwithoutbeingadevious,slimylittleworm.Andnow

you’replayingthattuneagain.I’mnotgoingtolisten.”

“Youshould,”hesaid.

Ah,thetoneofamanwhohadoncetastedthehoneyednectarofuncheckedauthority.Caroline

recognizeditwell.She’dhearditfromcops,fromelectedofficials,fromherowndamnhusband.

Fromhertorturers.

Powellhadpinnedherrightarmbehindherback.Wrappedhisfingersaroundherthroat.Toldher

he’dsnapherneckifshedaredevenbreatheinthewrongdirection.SmirkedhisassoffatFischeras

Murdockpulverizedthebonesinherlefthand.Whentheyreturnedhertohercell,she’ddreamtofsweet

revenge.

Herthoughtsblendedtogether,blurringthelinebetweenrealityandfantasy,hermindracingwith

darkillusionsofwhatshewoulddotohercaptorsifshewerearmed.

She’dshootMurdockintheshoulderfirst.Justtowatchhimbleedbeforedecidingwheretofocus

herattentionnext.Maybepistolwhiphimsoheknewwhatitfeltlike.Theguardswerebigonthat

particulartechnique.Oh,andshe’dneedastilettoheeltogrindintothewound.Shelikedthatidea.A

lot.Itwasdrippingwithirony,thekindhe’dneverappreciate.

She’dgougeFischer’seyesoutwithherfingernails.Kickhiminthegroin,overandover.Hithim

withhisowngoddamnbaton.Callhimamotherfuckingsweetheartwhileshedidit.He’dhatethat.

She’dcutoffPowell’sballswithaknife.No,adull,rustyrazorblade.Snaphisarmintwo.Anice

compoundfracture,theblooddrippingdownfromtheboneashepissedalloverhimselffromthepain.

Seehowhelikeditthen.

Thenshe’dmoveontolesspleasantthings.Thingsshe’donlyreadaboutinhorrornovels.

Terriblewaysofsufferingthey’dnevercontemplatedbefore.Sheenjoyedimaginingherrevenge.

Makingthemallscreamandbegfortheirmommies.Adjustingherplansjustincasetheyfuckedupher

otherhand.Shestillhadherlegs.Herfeet.Herteeth.Thereweresomanythingsshecoulddotothem

ifsheonlyhadthechance.

Shecouldtosshispills.Getridofthatsoftpillowinhisbedroom,thesheets,theblanket,themany

modernconveniencesthatmadehisunpleasantexistencelessintolerable.Grabsomethingniceandsharp

fromthebutcherblockandrockitteasinglybackandforthinfrontofhim.Renderhimimpotentwithone

stab,onehack,onewell-placedknifetoss.Noonewouldjudgeherforit.

Exceptshe’dneverbeabletolivewithherselfifshefollowedthrough.Goddamnedconscience.

“You’renotgettinganotherminuteofmytime.I’mout.”Shespunaround,motioningtoward

Schroeder.

“Wait!”Aplaintivecry.Howpitiful.“Please,”Powellsaidquietly.“Pleaselisten.”

Hewantedsomething.Hecouldn’tbebenevolentifhetried.“Why?”

“BecauseIneedyourhelp.Surelyyoucanrespectafairtrade.”

She’dbeenlivingalargelyemptyexistenceforalmosttwoyears,plaguedbymemoriesoftheloved

onesshe’dleftbehind.Theonesshe’dseendie.Andheconsideredhisliesfairtrade?

“I’mnotheretobarterwithyou,”Carolinesaid.

Hestareddownathishands.“You’reabetterpersonthanyouthinkyouare.”

Flattery.Gettinghimnowhere.“IknowexactlywhoIam.You,thankfully,donot.”

“Youworkedforjusticeandfairnessyourentirelife.Youbelieveinhope.Andyouwon’tletgoifa

shredofitremains.”

Oh,fuckhim.HemusthavereadwhateverpsychologicalanalysisTheFedhaddoneonher.Butshe

wasweary,toofocusedonnotlettinghervengefulthoughtsmanifestintoaction.She’dhumorhimfor

thirtyseconds,tops.“Yourpoint?”

“You’releavingforTheHaguesoon.”

Hadn’tanyonetoldhimhewasalongfortheride?Whatastrangetransition.“Iam.You’regoing

too.”

“IassumeI’mnotafriendlywitness.”

“Youarenot.”Carolinetappedherfootonthefloor.“You’reapotentialdefendant.”

“You’regoingtoprovidetestimony.Notjustaboutme.Abouteverything.”

They’regoingtoknowexactlyhowdeplorableyouare,yes.“Probably.”

“They’lllistentoyou.”

Ofcoursetheywould.“Iassumeso.”

“You’lltellthemwhatyousawmedo.”

Jesus,hedidn’thavethegutstocomeoutandsayit,didhe?Whatafuckingfailureofaman.No

wonderhewassogoodattakingunconstitutionalorders.“Youwantthemtogiveyouconsideration,and

youwantmetohelp,”Carolinesaid.

“Agoodwordcouldn’thurt.”

Sheknewtheprocess.TheICCreserveditsprosecutionsforthemostculpableactors.Powell’s

involvementbarelywarrantedanentryinSantos’sadisticcatalog,andthetribunalwouldn’tdomuch

exceptreferhimtolowercourtsforcharges.

Buthedidn’tknowthat.Therewerebeadsofsweatonhisforehead,anditwascoldintheroom.

Powellwasterrifiedthetableswouldturnandhe’dbetheoneinadarkcell.Carolinecouldplayhim

likeafiddleifshewanted.“Ihavenogoodwordsforyou.”

“Youcouldfindafewifyoutriedhardenough.”

Wasn’theaneagerlittlebeaver.Shecouldn’ttellifhewassuckinguporaskinghertoperjure

herself.“Youwantmetotellthemyou’reaniceguy?”sheasked.“Thatyou’remisunderstood?Thatyou

didn’tholdmedownwhileMurdockshatteredmyhand,thatyoudidn’tparticipateinpsychologicaland

emotionalanddisgustinglypersonalphysicaltorture?I’mgoingtotellthemthetruth.”Carolinefingered

thewatchagain.“Ifthisinformationwassoimportant,whydidn’tyoutellsomeonetheinstantyou

showedupintheinfirmary?Youwereinterrogatedforhours,right?”

Powellloweredhisgaze.“Yes.”

Good.Heshouldbeashamed.“Andduringallthattime,somehowthiscriticalbitofintelescaped

yourrecollection?”

“Ididn’t–Iwasconfused-”

“Bullshit.Youwereholdingitbackuntilyouneededit.Yourconsciencemustbecompletelyclear

now.”

“Soyoudobelieveme.”

“Ididn’tsaythat.”

Powellsighed.“Idon’tblameyoufornottrustingme.Doesitdoanyharmforyoutocheck?You

wouldn’tbetalkingtomeifyoudidn’thaveaninklingthatI’mbeingstraightwithyou.”

Damnhimforreadinghersowell.Unlesshewasguessing.Brokenclockswererighttwiceaday.“I

don’tknowwhattobelieve.”

Hestruggledtoadjusthissittingposition.Hisdiscomfortwasevident.“Youdon’towemeanything.

AllIhaveareapologiesandtheydon’tcountformuch.IdidwhatIhadtodo.Itriedtomakeupforit.”

Oh,thatwastherichestloadshe’dheardinawhile.“Bywhat?Downloadingafewfilesontoaflash

drive?BeingsenttosomebullshitresthomeinNevada?Howmanyotherprisonersdidyoutorture?Did

youpullthetriggeronanyofthemorleavethattoFischer?Tellme,Mr.Powell.Tellmehowyoumade

upforthelivesyouruined,forthelivesyoutook,forthelivesyoucontinuetodishonordaily.”

Hehunghishead.“Ihaven’t.I’llneverbeabletorepentforthedamageI’vedone.IfIcanreunite

youwithyourfamilymaybeIcanfeellikeIdidsomethingworthwhile,youknow?”

Toobadhehadn’ttoldherthatmonthsago.Toolittle,toolate.Butshe’dhavetheirmenreassess

theirintelligence,makecontactagainwithafewoftheirCanadianinsiders.No.Thatwasn’tenough.

She’dhavetogotoOttawaherselftoinvestigate.Powellknewtoomuchforittobeacompletelie.

“Maybe.”CarolinegesturedtowardSchroeder.“Ithinkwe’veheardenough,don’tyou?”

Hestraightened.“Isupposeso.”

Powellstoodupandwalkedovertoher.“Commander-”

Schroederleaptforward.“Don’tmove.”

Powellcouldn’tdomuchdamage.Notwithoutherstrikingfirst.“It’sokay,Captain,”shesaid.“Let

himspeak.”

Theinjuredmanshiftedhisweight.Maybeshecouldgiveaquickstriketohisankle,seeifitwas

enoughtomakehimfall.Wasthatconductunbecominganofficer?Probably.

Powellgrimaced.Hewasinpain.FuckhimtenwaystoTuesday.Hedeservedit.“Ma’am,Ijust-”

Deference.Thatwassomething.Toobadhechokedonthewords.“Yes?”

“Ididn’tintendtobeahero.”

“Good,”shesaid.“Becauseyou’renot.”

“PleasecheckonwhatItoldyou.Ipromiseit’sworthsomething.”

She’dhavetoseewhatSchroederthoughtoftheirexchange.“Iwill.”

“AboutTheHague-”

“Untilweleave,theconditionsofyourhomearrestremainthesame.”

Powelllookeddisappointed.“Understood.There’sjustonemorething.”

Shearchedaneyebrow.“Goahead.”

“Doyouthinkyoucaneverforgiveme?”

Shewasn’tsurewhythequestionrankledher,butitdid.Moresothananypejorative,anyinsult,any

physicaldamagehecouldhavedone.She’dspentmonthsbeingapersonshedespised,apersonshedidn’t

recognize.She’dalmostdestroyedhermarriage,convincedshewasn’tgoodenoughforthemanwho

spenteverydaytryingtoprovethatshewas.Forgivehim?Washeoutofhisgoddamnmind?

Thecloseproximitywastoomuch,theimpulsetoorawandreal.Shebroughtherkneetohisgroin

andPowelldoubledover.

“No,”Carolinesaidshortly.ShetiltedherheadatSchroeder,whomotionedfortheguardstohelp

theirprisonertohisfeet.“Let’sgo.”

“Didyouhavetokickhim…there?”Schroederaskedoncetheygotbacktotheoffice.

“Oh.Yousawthat?”

“Imighthave.ImightalsoforgetIdid.”

FastandlooseSchroederwasherfavoriteversion.“Maybekneeingmenintheballsshouldbemy

signaturemove.”

“I’mnotsurethat’sthekindofconductweshouldencourage.”

“Ididn’tpunchhim.”

“Yes.Thereisthat.”

Carolinelaughed.“Don’tworry.I’mnotgoingtodoittoyou.”

“Iwasn’tworriedaboutthat.”Hepaused.“ShouldIbeworriedaboutthat?”

“You’refine.”Sheglancedaroundtheroom.“Jack’snothereanymore,huh?”

Schroedergrabbedapieceofpaperoffhisdesk.“Saysheleftfortheday.”

Nodoubttodosomethingromanticandwell-intentionedforher.Shefeltalittleflushofguiltfor

goingtoseePowellbehindherhusband’sback.Nomatter.She’dbeabletoexplainitwellenough.“What

didyoumakeofthatconversation?Doyouthinkthere’sachancemychildrenareinCanada?”sheasked.

Hesatdown,kickinghisfeetup.Damn,acoupleofmonthsandhewasclosetobeingdownright

casualinherpresence.“Ithinkthere’ssomethingtoit.”

“CanyougetustoOttawa?”

“Icanstreamlinetheprocess.I’msurewecansetupameetingwiththePrimeMinister.Thetimeis

right,andtheICCinvestigationmaygiveyouonemoreweaponinyourdiplomaticarsenal.”

Thatwastheleastofherconcerns.ShewantedtogetherasstoCanadarightfuckingnow,thoughshe

knewdamnwellthatdoingitwithoutgoingthroughtheproperchannelswouldspelldisasterfor

everyone.No,shecouldn’tbeimpudent.Shecouldbepatient.Maybe.“WhatdoyouthinkJackwillsay?”

Schroedersmiledwryly.“IsuspecthewillnotbequiteasinclinedtobelieveMr.PowellasyouorI.

Andhewon’tbethrilledaboutourfieldtrip.”

Denialwasjustaseffectiveanavoidancetacticasanger.“Imayhavetoworkalittlemagic.”

“Areyoupreparedtoaccepttheoutcomeofanyinvestigationiftheanswersaren’twhatyouhope

themtobe?”

“Rightnowwedon’thavemanyanswers,”shesaid.“Justalotoftheoryandguesswork.”

“True.Frankly,itmakessenseforyoutogotoCanadaanyway.Theycouldbeourbiggestally,

particularlyiftheU.N.getsonboard.”

Ah,yes.Shehadforgotten.TheU.N.SecurityCouncilwastakingahandintheICCinvestigation.

Goodnewsfortherebellion.OncetheU.N.wasinvolved,theyapprovedjurisdictionforanypotential

chargesagainsttheSantosAdministration.Supportforlegalproceedingscouldmeansupportfortroops,

training,weapons…thepossibilitieswereendless.

“Maybewecanendthiswarwithoutfiringashot,”shesaid.

“Ihopeso.”Schroederloggedintohiscomputer.“IassumeCommanderMcIntyreisexpectingyou.

Perhapsyou’dbettercallitaday.”

Subtle.Andappreciated.Herassistantearnedagoldstarforhisparticipationintheday’sevents.

“Seeyoutomorrow,Captain.”

ChapterTwo

“Youdidwhat?”

Theconversationwasnotofftoagoodstart.“Youheardme.IvisitedPowell.Schroederwaswith

me.”

Jackslammedhisbriefingbookdown.“Oh,he’sgoingtohearaboutthis.”

Theirassistantwouldbefine.Heknewhowtostanduptohisboss.“Jack,listen,”shesaid.“Powell

insistedIseehimwithoutyou.Ihadafeeling-”

“Caroline,yourfeelingsshouldn’tdictateyourbehaviorwithregardtothatman.”

“Oh,really?”sheasked.“Isthatwhyyoubeathimtoapulpthelasttimeyouwereinthesameroom?

Ican’timaginewhyhewantedtoseeonlyme.”

“Fine.”Jacksatdownonthecouch.“Whatdidhesay?”

Howcouldsheexplainitwithoutsoundinglikeshewasoffherrocker?Especiallywhenshewasn’t

sureshebelievedPowellherself?ShegaveJacktheshortversion.Hisresponsewasimmediateand

predictable.

“He’slying,sweetheart.”

Thelittlevoiceinherheadwassayingthesamething,butshewasn’treadytolisten.“Youdon’t

knowthat.”

“OfcourseIdo.He’smanipulatingyou.”

Lying.Manipulating.EverythingJackwassayinghadcrossedhermindrepeatedlyonthewalkback

totheirapartment.“Idon’tthinkheis.”

“Howdoyouknow?”

CarolinewantedtobelievePowell,sobadlyithurt.“Hetoldmethingsonlysomeonewith

knowledgeofthesituationwouldknow.”

“Meaning?”

Sherestedherforeheadagainsthischeek.“Hetoldmeaboutashootout.Aboutbodiesthatwere

recovered.”Sheletoutashakybreath.“ThedescriptionshegavematchedTomandJess.”

“Onlytwo?”

“Onlytwo.Theyhaditemsof…importancewiththem.”

“Couldyoubeashademorespecific?”heasked.

“RememberwhenItoldyouTheFedhadproofthegirlsweredead?TheyrecoveredmyMarquette

scarfandbluehippofromwhereTomandJesswerelocated.Lateron,Murdockshowedthemtome

duringaninterrogation.AtthetimeIthoughtitmeant…somethingdifferentthanwhatitmaymean.

Powell’sstorychangeseverything.”

“Thiscouldbeastunt.OnelastlittlejabasagiftfromMurdock.”

She’dhadtimetothinkonthewalkhome.TryingnottoobsessoverCanada.Ponderingwhatthe

weatherwaslikeinearlywinterinOttawa.Debatingifbrazenirresponsibilityshouldtrumpcommon

sense.Wonderingwhethershewaschasingapipedreamorgraspingatimaginarystraws.

ButthecompunctioninPowell’svoice.The–dareshesayit?–sincerity.Shedidn’tgetthe

impressiontheirprisonerhadeverbeenabigfanofhissupervisor.Hismotivationswerefarfrompure,

buttheyweren’texactlycalculatingeither.Theemotionalthirstcoursedthroughhersoconsistentlyit

madeherheartache.“Idon’tgetthatimpression.Thepiecesfittogethersoperfectly.”

“Tooperfectly.”

Jackhadalwayssupportedher.Beensoforgiving,soloving.Whywashebeingsorecalcitrant?

“Whydon’tyouwanttobelievethis?”sheasked.

Hepressedhislipstoherforeheadbeforespeaking.“You’vebeenthroughsomuch,Caroline.Made

somuchprogress.Andthisbastardopenshismouthandputsyouonaroadthatforcesyoutorelivethe

griefandagonyyou’vebeentryingtoprocess.He’sslashingatwoundsthathaveneverproperlyhealed.I

don’twanttoseeyousufferingagain.”Heswallowedhard.“NordoIwanttogothroughitmyself.”

Carolineclosedhereyes.Trusthimtobelogical.Tobringherbackdownwhenshe’dstartedtorise

again.“There’snoharminchecking.”

“We’vechecked,sweetheart.Multipletimes.”

“IwanttogotoCanada.Rightnow.”

Hisexpressionchanged.“We’releavingforTheHaguesoon.No.”

FuckTheHague.Nothingelsematteredifherchildrenwerealive.“WecangotoOttawafirst.”

“Notwithouttheproperdocumentation.Youwanttocrosstheborderillegally?”

Asiftheycouldn’ttalktheirwayoutofit.“Yes.”

Jackslidherontohislap.“WehaveneveruncoveredasingleindicationthatthegirlsareinCanada

oranywhereelse.Noactivityontheaccount.Nonothing.”

Shehadtogivehimcredit.She’dstartedtogetworkedupandhehadn’trespondedinkind.Tokeep

hercalm,nodoubt.Carolinetookadeepbreath,focusingonthehereandnow.Usingthemostreliable

methodthathadsoothedherinthepast.Shetriednottothinkaboutthehippoandthescarf.“Maybethey

missedsomething.”

“Theydidn’t,”hesaidgently.“Youhavetoletthisgo.”

Shedidn’tknowmuchabouthowhe’dgottentoCalifornia.Maybenowwasthetimetoopenthat

door.“Didyoudoanysearchingyourselfwhenyouwereupthere?”

Jackloosenedhisgrip.“Thatdoesn’tmatter.Noneofouragentsfoundanything.”

Socagey.Notagoodsign.Maybeherserenitywasn’thissoleconcern.“Whatdidyoufind?Didyou

searchforthenamesonthepassports?Inthelocationswe’dagreedon?Whatdidyoudowhenyougotto

Ottawa?”

Heslidawayfromheronthecouch.“I-”

Evasivenessandphysicaldistance.Notgoodatall.“Whatisit?”

“Youdon’tknowmuchaboutmyjourneyhere.”

“Ididn’tfeelcomfortableasking.Youdon’thavetotellmeifyoudon’twantto.”

“IpurposelyavoidedOttawa.”Jackrubbedhisneck,thecolorflushinghischeeks.“Ididn’tfindout

aboutthegirlsuntilIgothereandhadourintelligenceguyscheckwiththeirsourcesinCanada.”

Carolinetouchedhishand.Hehadn’tlied,notreally.Buthehadn’tbeentruthfuleither.“Youhad

themcheckthepassports?Thenames?Thelocations?”

“Yes.Therewasnothingtobefound.Noteventhesecondtimearound,whentheydidtheirbestto

digdeeper.”

“Whydidn’tyoutellme?”shewhispered.

Jackstillwouldn’tlookather.“Icouldn’tfacethem.BackthenIassumedthey’dalreadymadeitup

there.”

“SodidI.”

Heblinkedseveraltimes.“Ithoughtouragentswouldfindthem.Thatthey’dbringthegirlsto

CaliforniaalongwithTom,Jess,andChristine.Andwe’dfindoutwhathappenedtoyou,andyou’dbe

safetoo.”Hetappedhisfistagainsthislips.“NothingworkedoutthewayIhadplanned.Stupid,silly

dreamstheywere.”

“Theyweren’t,”Carolinesaid.“Webothheldontohope,andthelastthingweshoulddoistrivialize

thepoweritgaveus.”

Heshookhishead.“Therewasnowaytoexplain–I’dleftyousittinginthesnowseriouslyinjured

soIcouldgetaflashdrivetoarebellionweweren’tevensurewasthere.Icouldn’t-”

Shedidn’twanttohearthis.Notwhentheyhadsomuchmoretodealwiththanthemistakesofthe

past.“Jack-”

“Itwasfreezingthatnight,”hesaidquietly.“FormonthsallIcouldthinkaboutwashowcolditwas,

howfrightenedyoulooked,howmuchofagoddamnpussyIwasforleavingyouthere.Therewasnoway

IcouldlookourchildrenintheeyesandtellthemI’dlefttheirmothertodie.”

Hishandsweretrembling.Carolineputherarmsaroundhim.“Youneedtoletthatgo,darling.You

wouldhaveneverleftifwehadanyotheroptions.”

“IsworetothemIwouldtakecareofyou.ThatI’dprotectyouandgetyoutotheminonepiece.I

couldn’tfacethat.Facethem.”Heletoutabitterlaugh.“Andyouknowthere’snowayinhellI’dbeable

totellChristinewhatI’ddone.”

Carolineputherheadonhisshoulder.“Theymightbeoutthere.Maybewemissedsomething.We

havetogotoCanadaourselves.”

“Caroline-”

Couldn’thesenseherurgency?Didn’theseethesamethingsshedid?Weretheylivingincompeting

realities?“Maybetheydidn’twanttobefound.Didyouthinkofthat?Especiallyifweweren’ttheones

doingthesearching.”

“Sweetheart,noteverythingisaconspiracy.”

Itsuredamnwellfeltlikeit.Theuniverseseemeddestinedtocolludeagainstthemateveryturn.

“Youdon’tunderstand.IfwhatPowelltoldmeistrue,Chrissywouldn’thavemadeiteasytotrackthem

down.Shewouldhaveknowntostayhidden,tostayoutofdanger.Youknowshewouldhavedone

anythingtokeepourchildrensafe.Wehavetotry,Jack.Please.”

“Thoseareanawfullotofnecessarycoincidences.Idon’twantyoutoholdontothingsthataren’t

there.”

Whatwaswrongwithhim?“Don’tyoucare?Whydon’tyouwanttobelievethis?”

Heclenchedhisfist.“Iamconcerned.Iwanttobelieve.ButIcan’thopethewayyoucan.Ithurtstoo

muchtohavefaith.”

Maybehisclaimsofoptimismandgoodhumorweren’tasgrandashethought.Hissanguinitywas

couchedinsomeseriouscynicism.“Butyouhavehopesfortherebellion,right?”

“Icanwishthingsforotherpeople.Wishthingsforyou.ButthisisonethingIcan’tquitebelieve.

Notyet.”

Self-preservationwasunderstandable.Whatacruelparadoxthatitcameatherexpense.“We’ve

neverbeenabletofindclosure.Maybethere’sareason.They’reoutthere.Iknowit.”

“DidyoutellPowellanyofthis?”

Herhusbandknewbetterthantoaskherthat.“Iwasalittlebitchytohim.Ididn’twanthimtoknow

he’dtouchedanerve.Ialsokneedhimintheballs.”

Jacklaughed.“Ofcourseyoudid.Goddamn,Caroline.”

“Idon’tsupposeitsoundsevenremotelyconvincingifItellyouitwasanaccident?”

“Notintheslightest.Justtrytokeepyourrageincheck,allright?”

Carolinewasgettingbetterattemperingherreactionsbuttheslightestprovocationfromthewrong

personcouldsetheroff.“Wehavetotry,Jack.Ihavetoknow.”

“Allright.Butwe’regoingtoTheHaguefirst.Wecan’ttraveltoCanadauntilwehavetheproper

documentation.It’stoorisky.”

Muchasitpainedhertoadmitit,hewascorrect.Crossingtheborderillegallywasn’tthebestwayto

pleadtheircase.She’dhavetopracticepatience.“Schroederisonit,”shesaid.

“We’llgettoOttawa.Ipromise.IassumePowellwantssomethinginexchangeforthisabsurd

claim?”

Shecoulddodgethequestion,butwouldn’tgetfar.“Hewantsconsiderationifhetestifiesagainstthe

peoplegivingtheorders.That’sall.”Carolineleanedback.“He’dgetthatregardless.Whynotexploitit

ifwecan?”

Jackcaressedhercheek.“Idon’twantyoutogetyourhopesupfornothing.”

Hedidn’ttrustPowell.Hedidn’ttrustanyone.Truthbetold,neitherdidshe.ButshetrustedJack.

Andshetrustedherinstincts.“Iwon’t,”shepromised.“Butifthere’sachance-”

“WewillgotoCanada,butwe’lldoitright.SetsomethingupwiththePrimeMinister,makeitafull

diplomaticmission.Howdoesthatsound?”

She’dtakewhatshecouldget.“IguessIcanlivewiththat.”

Jackkissedherforehead.“Inthemeantime,maybeyoushouldtalktoDr.Haddad.Itmighthelpyou

wrapyourheadaroundthings.We’llgetthetrutheventually,Caroline.Ipromise.”

Hewasn’tquiteonboard,butshehadacoupleofweekstoconvinceJacktoseeherperspective.A

coupleofweekstoprocesseverything.Maybeevenacoupleofweekstohavemorethanafewvisits

withNatalietohelphergetby.Thenthey’dbeontheirwayoutofCaliforniaandtowardtheirfuture.“If

Schroedercangetusvisas,Icanwait.”

ChapterThree

Carolinehadn’tvisitedwithNatalieoften.Notrecently,anyway.Althoughitwouldhavebeen

healthierforhertodescribetheirvisitsaswhattheywere–regulartherapysessions.She’dbeensoupset

atPowell,soadamantwithJack,thenretreatedintoaweirdsenseofcalm.Itdidn’tfeelright.Whenin

doubtandwithinternationaltravelonthehorizon,she’dletDr.Haddaddotheanalyzing.

“Idon’tknowwhat’swrong,”Carolinesaid.“EverythingcomescrashingatmeandIpracticallyhave

abreakdown,butinsteadofdealingwithitIblockitout.Likeit’snotreallyhappening.Powellbeingone

ofmyattackers,thegirls,everything.Iknowit’sadefensemechanismbutIcan’tkeepshuttingitdown.It

makesitimpossibletofunctionwhenIhavetolead.Ihavetobeawareofmysurroundings.Ihaveto

be…me.”

“Ofcourse,”Nataliesaid.“You’vebeenprotectingyourself.You’rejugglingabunchofheavy

conceptsatthesametime.Areactionaryresponseiscompletelyexpected.You’vehadtoadjusttoanew

normalmultipletimes,andyourpsychehasresisted.Youhavetodealwithitinawaythatdoesn’t

damageyoufurther.”

Howlongagohaditbeenwhenfeelinggoodwasthedefaultinsteadoftheunattainable?“Doyou

thinkI’mevergoingtobemyselfagain?”

Natalieshrugged.“Ican’tgiveyoutheansweryouwant.Whoyouarechangesovertime.”

“TherehavebeentimeswhenIdon’tmuchcareformybehavior.”

“Isupposethat’sasignthattherealCaroline,whoeverthatis,isinsideyousomewhere.It’salsoa

signyoushouldstopkickingmenintheballs.”

Huh.Thathadgottenbacktoher.ThankGodshewasn’tlecturingCarolineaboutit.“So,whatdoI

do?”sheasked.“I’mengaginginrecklessconduct.Actingout,lettingmyminddrift,gettingsetoffbythe

slightestthing.It’snothealthy,especiallywhenIhavetoactcompetentlyforthenearfuture.”

“It’snotapermanentsolution,butyouneedsomethingtogetyouthroughthenextfewweeks.Maybe

longer.Compartmentalize.Pickyouremotionalbattles.Concentrateonthetaskathand.Iknowit’shard

nottothinkaboutyourkids,orworryaboutthelongterm,ordriftintothepast,butyouhavetobe

singularlyfocusedonyourtestimonyoryou’llcauseyourselfevenmorestress.”

Inotherwords,Carolineneededtocalmthefuckdown.“Isthataclinicalopinionorapersonal

one?”

“I’mbasingitonmyassessmentofwhoyouusedtobeandwhoyouarenow.Youcouldhandleallof

itifyouhadnootherchoice,butyouhaveoptions.Don’tpowerthroughwhenyoucanglide.You’re

allowedtoslowdown.”

“It’shard,”Carolinesaid.“IwanttoruntoCanada.Ineedtoknowthetruth.”

Nataliepattedherhand.“Youwillknow.Butyoucan’trushupthere.Youhavetotakecareofafew

otherthingsfirst.Paceyourself.You’vewonquiteafewbattlesbutthisisstillawar.Andno,that’snot

anallegoryforanythingelse.”

Likehell.“Liar.”

Natalietookoutaprescriptionpad.“Ithinkitwouldhelpifyouwereonsomethingforafewmonths.

You’llbetravelingandunderagreateramountofstressthanusual.Justpromisemeyou’lltakethemin

moderation.”

She’dbeabletohavefuzzyflightsinsteadofgettingworkedup?Seemedlikeagreatdealtoher.“I

promise.”

Nataliehandedhertwosheetsofpaper.“Somethingforanxietyandsomethingforyourfearofflying.

Theyshouldhavebothoftheseatthepharmacyinthehospital.”

Doubledrugs.Goodygoody.Carolinepocketedthem.“Itakeabunchatonetimethenchasewith

whiskey,right?”

“Don’tstart.Oh,andIknowthisgoeswithoutsayingbut…becareful.Please.Nothingstupid.”

Likeshe’dbeabletoagreetothatwithastraightface.“IsolemnlyswearIwilllistenwheneverJack

saysI’mactingirrationally.Doesthatwork?”

“Fornow.Onceyougetbackherewecantakethenextstep.Focusonyourtestimony.Nothingelse.

Youcan’tcontrolthoseotherthingsanyway.YoucancontrolyourbehaviorinEurope,cancontrolyour

languageanddemeanor.Enjoyyourselfifyou’refeelinguptoit.Useeverythingelseasmotivation.A

reminderwhyyou’redoingallofthis.”Sheheadedtowardthedoor,apparentlyfinishedwithhersermon.

“Ifnothingelse,justthinkofhowI’llyellatyouifIdiscoveryouhaven’tbeenfollowingmyvery

professionalandmedicallysoundinstructions.”

Carolineleanedinforahug.“Yoursenseofhumorisfartoomuchlikemine.ButIloveyouanyway.”

Nataliekissedhercheek.“Safetravels.Gogetyourmeds.”

Ittookanothertwoweeksofwranglingbeforetheiroverseasadventurewasfinalized.Aprivate

planeprovidedbytheCaliforniaRepublic.Additionalsecurity.AdirectflightfromSanDiegoto

AmsterdamwithanescorttoTheHague.Drivers,bodyguards,travelallowances…everythadbeen

crossed,everyidotted.Schroederdeservedaraise.

CarolinehadshownTom’swatchtoJack,thenplaceditinthedrawernexttotheirmostprecious

mementos.She’dtakeitoutfromtimetotime,staringattheinscription,rollingitoverinherhand.

Checkingtomakesurethetimewascorrect.

Itseemedwrongtoleaveitbehind,knowingwhatitsownerhadgonethroughinorderforittoendup

inherpossession.AninehourdifferencebetweenSanDiegoandTheHague.She’dneedsomethingto

helpkeeptrackofherschedule.Shepluckedthewatchoutofthedrawerandadjustedthehands

accordinglybeforeshovingitintoherrucksack.

Theanxietymedicationhadn’treacheditsfulleffectivenessbutitsoothedher,madeiteasierforher

topracticecompartmentalization.Atemporarysolutiontoapermanentproblem.Thetranquilizersshe’d

beenprescribedwereanicebonus.Carolinehadalreadytakenoneofthemandwasfeelingprettydamn

relaxedasshefinishedpacking.

She’dneedbusinessclothes.Dresses.Shoes.Apurse,sincemanufacturersofwomen’ssuitshadn’t

figuredouthowtoputdamnpocketsinthethings.Somethingotherthanbootsandauniform.Casual

outfitsweren’tanissuebutshehadtolookmoderatelypresentableforherinterviews.Despiteher

apprehension,atriptoEuropewastheclosestthingtofreedomshe’dhadinyears.Theircoverstorywas

simple:ananniversarytriptothecontinent.Howdelightful.

Jackplacedherweddingbandinherhand.“Ithinkweshouldwearourringswhilewe’rethere,”he

said.“Purelytofuelthesubterfuge.”

“Yeah,”Carolinesaid.“It’snotbecauseyou’reoddlyromantic.”

“Itwouldbetooobviousforyoutowearyourengagementringorthatanniversaryband.Muchtoo

flashy.”

“I’mgladyouadmittedthatyourtasteinjewelryisabitextravagant.”

“Mydiscriminatingeyeisnotevenclosetobeingoverthetop.Butthatengagementringis

recognizable.”

“Stopbeinglogical.”

“Areyougoingtogivememineornot?”

Shecouldhavesomefunwiththis.Herhairwasstillblond,purelyforconveniencewhiletraveling,

andJackhadgrownabeardandobtainedgreencontacts.“WhatifI’dratherbeamarriedwomancarrying

onanaffairwithherhandsomeolderlover,whohasnoqualmsaboutparadingherscandalous

extramaritalrelationshiparoundwhilewearingherweddingbandinpublic?”

“Oryoucouldgivememyring.”

Whataspoilsport.Sheremovedthechainfromaroundherneck.“You’dbetterwearitthewhole

damntime,though.”

Heslippedtheringontohisfinger.“IfIlikeitwellenoughyoumaynotgetitback.”

Shehadtoadmit,thatgleamingplatinummadehimevenmoreattractive.“Anyotherpiecestoour

carefullycraftedplan?”

“Ournewpassports.Schroedergavethemtometoday.”

“So,we’recitizensofCalifornianow?”

“Mr.andMrs.O’Malleyare.”Jackreachedintohisbackpocketandhandedhertwopassports.

“MichaelAlfredO’Malley,”Carolineread.“HowBlackIrishofyou.And…DianaMarie

O’Malley.Youdidn’tlikemyfakeFrenchsurname?Pascalsoundedsocultured.”

“Ithoughtmaybeitwouldbeokayifwecouldcontinuetheruseofahappilymarriedupperclass

couple.Withthesamelastname.”

PoorJack.Helookedsouncomfortable.“YouthoughtI’dbemad,didn’tyou?”

Hefiddledwithhisweddingband.“Maybe.”

“Didyoumeanourhappymarriagewasaruse,ortheupperclasspart?”

“Ionlymeantthesamelastname.”

“That’ssoendearingforyoutobeconcernedaboutmyfeelings.”Sherummagedaroundtheroom.

“Where’sthatSimonedeBeauvoirbookIborrowedfromNatalie?Ithastobearoundheresomewhere.I

knowIstillhavethatonebyBettyFriedan.”

“Caroline-”

“IthoughtIcoulddosomelightreadingontheplane,”shesaid.

“Yousureyoudon’twantmetodosomelightreadingontheplane?”

Thatcouldworktoo.Shegavehimalittlehugtolethimknowshewaskidding.“It’sfine,Jack.It’s

charming,actually.”

“It’snotlikethisisalegalnamechange.You’restillCarolineJoanGerard.”

Shesatdownonthebed.“Doyouthinkthisisgoingtowork?”

“Idon’tseewhynot.We’renottravelingthroughAmericanairspace,wehaveironclad

documentation,wehaveplentyofmoney,andI’vebeengrowingthisdamnfacialhairfortwoweeks

now.”

“Don’tforgetthosemagnificenteyeglassesandcolorcontactsyou’llbewearing.”

“Don’tremindme,”Jackgrumbled.“Ifpeopletalkusupinpublic,we’reacouplefromSanDiego

visitingTheNetherlandsforacoupleofweeks.Anicejaunttothecontinenttoreconnect.Wewon’t

volunteerthatinformationbutwillshareifprodded.It’snotlikefolkshavestoppedtravelingcompletely,

especiallybetweenCaliforniaandEurope.”

Heseemedtohaveitcovered.Ifthatsituationarose,she’dlethimdothetalking.“Iplanonbeingas

aloofaspossible.”

“Iplanonbeingthepossessive,jealoushusbandwhodoesn’tlethiswifespeaktostrangers.”

“IthinkIhaveabookonmenwhoaretoocontrolling.Maybethat’stheoneyoushouldread.”

Hezippedhisbag,tossingitnexttothedresser.“Veryfunny.”

“Wehavetobecareful,Jack.Wedon’twanttobememorable.Weneedtobebenign.There’sa

chancesomeonecouldrecognizeus.”

“Thenwe’llhavetomakeourmovementsquietlylikeanynormalmarriedcouple,passive

aggressivelynottalkingtoeachotheroranyoneelse.Butthat’sneitherherenorthere.How’sthat

tranquilizerworkingforyou?”

Nataliedidn’twanthertooverusethembuthell,theysureworked.“I’minagoodplace.Mightpop

onetomorrow.Easierformetonapontheflight.”

“Iwasgoingtoslipsomethingintoyourdrinkifyougottoochatty.”

“You’remean.”

“Youloveit.”Jackkissedhercheek.“Areyounervous?”

“Abouttheflight?”

“Abouteverything.”

“That’saprettybroadquestion.”

“You’vebeenonthosepillsforacoupleofweeks.How’sthatgoing?”

“Ifeelalittlemore…evenedout,ifthatmakessense.Haveyounoticedadifference?”

“Youseemcalmer.Thatdoesn’tprecludenervousnessaboutnormalthings,right?”

No,itdidn’t.Butitmadeitaloteasierforhertomanagehercompetingstressors.“I’mnervousabout

flying.Nervousabouttestifying.Nervousaboutwhatcomesafterthat.RightnowI’mtakingitonedayata

time.”Carolinesmiled.“That’sallyouget.”

“Yougavemequiteabit,”hesaid.“I’mgoingtodowhatIcantodistractyouandmakethistripas

enjoyableaspossible.”

TheCaliforniaRepublichadgiventhemasmallallowanceforclothes.“Wehavetodosome

shopping.Iknow.”

“Morethanthat.Ioweyoutwoyears’worthofcompletelyunnecessarypresents.”

Sheknewhowtotranslatethatstatement.“Jack,youhaven’ttouchedthataccount.”

“Igotasmallloan.Favorableterms.Nopointinhavingmoneyifwecan’tenjoyit.Justincase-”

Hecarefullyexaminedhisfingernails.Oh,thatwasalittleominous.Didhethinksomethingwas

goingtohappen?Wasthistheirlasthurrah?Maybehecouldbenefitfromsomepharmaceuticalassistance

aswell.

Hisresponsewasn’tentirelyunpredictable.Bothofthemwerepronetoit–they’dbehavingabright,

almostfluffyexchangeandrealitywouldcreepintotheroom,burrowingintotheirpsyches.Jackwas

morelikelytoletitchokehisthoughts;hiscynicismcoloredeverythinghedidfromtravelplansto

intelligencebriefings.Itwasemotionallyexhausting.

“Youshouldn’tbeborrowingagainstaccountswemayneverbeabletoaccess,”Carolinesaid.

“DianaandMichaeldeservetogotoEuropeinstyle.”

Andtherehewas,bouncingbackupagain.Carolinelookedatherrathertinyrucksack.“Exceptin

termsofluggage.”

“We’llworryaboutthatwhenwegetthere.”

Hewasstrivingfornormalcyinatideofuncertaintyandstress.Touchingbutimpractical.“You’re

goingtodoyourbesttomakethisfeellikearunofthemilltrip,aren’tyou?”

“Isitworking?”

Thereweremomentswhenshecouldpretendthingswerethewaytheyusedtobe.Thateverything

wouldreverseitselfinsomemagicalcosmicoverride.Liketurningalightswitchonandoffonlyto

discoverthebulbhadburnedout.She’dreplaceitandthelightwouldcomebackon,floodingherwith

warmcomfort.Thenitwouldflickeragainandshe’dberemindedthatnothing,absolutelynothingwas

thesame.

Tonight,however,Carolinewoulddoherbesttoretreattothatmoderatelyhappyplaceinhermind

whereshethoughtonlyofthepositiveandletherselfbeloved.“Alittle.”

Jackputhisarmaroundher.“What’sreallybotheringyou?”

Hernervousnesshadlittletodowithwhytheyweregoing,andeverythingtodowithwhatshe

valuedmost.“Idon’twantanythingtohappentoyou.Ifeellikethere’sachanceIcanfinallyget

everythingthat’simportanttomeandIdon’twantittakenawayagain.”

“Caroline,we’vegottonsofsecurity.CaliforniaBureauofInvestigationagents.Jones,Gig,and

Crunch.We’vebeenguaranteedthehighestsecuritymeasuresoncewelandinAmsterdam.We’llbefine.I

promise.”

Hekeptsayingwewhenshewasmoreconcernedabouthim.“Let’sdoourbesttostay

inconspicuous.”

“Hey,you’retheonewhocan’tseemtokeepherselfoutoftrouble.”

Carolinecuffedhisarm.“Stoptellingthetruth.That’sreallyannoying.”

Jackkissedher.“Youshouldgetsomerest.We’vegotalongcoupleofweeksahead.Inlessthantwo

dayswe’llbeattheInternationalCriminalCourt,whereyoucanminglewithallyourfellowministersof

justice.”

“Idon’tthinkanyofthemaregoingtobeAmerican,”shesaid.

“Maybethat’sforthebest.Youloveconnectingwithpeoplewhoshareapassionforyourvocation.I

hopeitmakesiteasierforyoutoshareyourstorywiththem.”

Carolinecrawledunderthecovers.“Willyoutuckmein?”

Hegaveheradeep,long,toecurlingkissbeforeslidingintobedbesideher.“I’mgoingtodomore

thanthat.Imaywearyououtenoughthatyourtranquilizerswon’tevenbenecessarytomorrow.”

Shegleefullypulledthesheetovertheirheads.“Gettoit,Mr.O’Malley.”

ChapterFour

“FlyingtoupstateNewYorkissomuchbetterthandriving.”Carolineslippedoutofhersandals

andfloppeddownonthebedinthemasterbedroom.“Ishouldhavemarriedyouyearsago.”

“Wouldhavebeenhardforyoutoswingthat.”Jacktookoffhisshoes.“ButI’mgladyouenjoyed

thetrip.”

“I’denjoyanythinginaprivatejet.”

“Youdon’tthinkmypersonalaircraftisoverkill?”

“Makescampaigningaloteasier.”Sherolledovertofacehim.“Thegirlsseemedtobeinagood

place,don’tyouthink?”

“Wereyouworriedaboutthat?”

“Alothaschangedinthepastyear.Iwasn’tsureifthey’dwanttogoaway.”

ShecouldtellJackwastryingnottolaugh.“Areyoukidding?”hesaid.“Itwastheperfect

chanceforthemtostopattendingcampaignevents.”

“Theydidn’tlikegoingtoluncheonsandfairswithus?”

Jackkissedherlightly.“They’renotasgoodathidingtheirboredomastheirmotheris.”

Carolinesatup.“Ismyennuithatobvious?”

“Probablynottoanyoneelsebutme.MaybeKatieandChristine.”

Lookingdistractedoreventepidonthetrailwouldbeanissue.“I’lltryharder.”

Hekissedheragain.“Don’tworryaboutit,sweetheart.Everyoneyoumeetadoresyou.”

Carolinegrabbedhistieandpulledhimontopofher.“Youknow,wehavetheentiresummerto

ourselves.Relativelyspeaking,thatis.”

Heplacedhispalmsonthepillow,adjustinghisposition.“Whatdidyouhaveinmind?”

“Nightlydebauchery.Constantperversion.Entireweekendsofnakedness,schedulepermitting.

Doesthatworkforyou?”

Jacknuzzledherneck.“Absolutely.”

Maybeifshemadeatinyeffort,thedebaucherycouldstartimmediately.“Oh,andnexttimewe

havesexontheplane.”

“Deal.”Hekissedheragain,deeperthistime.“Idon’tmeantotease,butIactuallyhavesome

callsIneedtomake.”

Oh,hellno.Notjustyet.JackstartedtogetupandCarolinepulledhimbackdown.“Noway.

We’refinallyaloneandwe’regoingtohavesomefunfirst.”

“Sweetheart,I’mnotkidding.Wespentthepastfewdaysalmostcompletelyignoringourphones

andwehavetogetbackintheswing.”

Hewasnofunatall.Surelyshecouldgethimtolightenup.“No,”shemurmured,wrappingher

armsaroundhim.“I’mmoreimportantthanyourcalls.”

Jacktriedtopullawaybutdidn’tfightherkissesallthatmuch.“Stufftodo,”hemumbled.“We

needtobehave.”

“We’realoneinagianthouse,child-freeforthenexteightweeks.Thelastthingwehavetodois

behave.”

“Imeanit.”Hetriedtopullawayagain.“Icanhearmyphoneintheotherroom.”

“Fuckyourphone,”Carolinesaid,reachingtounbucklehisbelt.Theonedrawbackofhim

wearingkhakis.Nosuspenders.Maybehe’dthrowonapairtomorrow.“Justaquickie.Fiveminutes

atthemost.”

“Youinsultme.”

Hemighthavesoundedmoderatelyamused,butsheknewshewaspushingit.Shedidn’tcare.They

weregoingtospendthebulkoftheirtimecampaigningasthesummerworeon.Carolinecouldhardly

befaultedforwantingafewmorehoursofcoupletime.“Ten?”

Jackshovedtohisfeet,adjustinghispolo.“Ihavetowork,baby.IpromiseI’llbebackinalittle

whileandyoucanbeaspervertedasyouwant.”

Hewasserious.Heneededtowork.Shedidn’tcare.Shestartedworkingathisbeltagain.“Iwant

tobepervertednow.”

“Caroline,”hesaid,butitwasmoreofagroan.Good.Herhandsproducedthedesiredeffect.

“You’rebeingnaughty.”

Whatacuteturnofphrase.Hadheeverwordeditthatwaybefore?“Iliketomisbehave.”

Hisexpressiondarkened.“Naughtygirlsgetspanked.”

Wasn’theakidder.She’dmeetthatchallengeanydayoftheweek.“Ihighlydoubtyou’dspank

yourownwife.”

Jackyankedherupandswattedherasshard.Carolinestumbledforward.Hisfirmgripwasthe

onlythingkeepingherfromlosingherbalance.Therewasastingtohisaction,butshedidn’tknowif

itcamefrompainorshock.Sheclosedhereyesandletoutaharshbreath.“Idoubtyouhavethe

audacitytodothatagain.”

Hemovedsoswiftlythatittookherbysurprise.Jacktookheroverhiskneeontheedgeofthebed

andslappedherbacksidethreetimesinsuccessionbeforepullingheruptoasittingpositionnextto

him.

“I’mamanofmyword,”hesaid.

Indeedhewas.No,shedidn’tfeelpain.Andshewasn’tentirelysureitwasshock.Butshewas

morethanalittleturnedon.“Icanseethat.”

Maybeifsheaskedhe’ddoitagain.Clothed,naked,inthebedroom,inthelivingroom,inthe

backyard.Anywhere.Jackkissedherafinaltime,smilingassheattemptedtopullhimontopofher

again.

“Sorry,baby.Youhavetowait.I’mgoingintotheofficetomakesomecalls.Maybeyoushould

slipintosomethingmorecomfortable.Imightgetboredinthereallbymyself.”

Carolineshookherhead,stilldazed.Oh,shecoulddefinitelycomeupwithsomething.“Justyou

wait.”

Shedebatedhowlongtogivehim.Hewouldn’thavelefttheroomunlesshelegitimatelyhadwork

todo.Buthe’dmadeitclearhewantedherinhisofficeatsomepoint.He’dspankedher.Herhusband

hadspankedher.Shehadn’texpectedhimtomakegoodonhisthreatbutnowthathehad…shewanted

toknowwhatitwouldtakeforhimtodoitagain.

Carolinefoundhersexiestmerrywidowandthongset,gartersandall.Aspectacularsapphire

bluewithblacktrim.He’dtakehistimeremovingitsinceitwasoneofherfavorites.Thelookonhis

facewhenshesaunteredintohisofficetoldherallsheneededtoknow.Afigurativejawdropifthere

everwasone.

“MyGod,”hesaid.“Youweren’tkidding.”

“YouthoughtIwouldn’tshowup?”

Hesteeredhertowardhisdesk,sittingheronhislap.“Iknewyou’dshowup.Ijustwondered

whatoutfityou’dgreetmewith.”

Carolinegesturedtowardthecorset.“I’llhaveyouknowthatthisisnot,infact,allthat

comfortable,butIthoughtitwouldturnyouon.”

“Definecomfortable.”

“Ahoodieandsweatpants.”

“IguessIcouldfindthatattractiveundertherightcircumstances.Ifthoseparticularitemswere

onthefloorrightafterI’drippedthemoffofyou.”

Shewaswillingtosacrificesomeclothesfortheteam.“So,you’dprefermetotallynaked?”

Hegaveherhipasqueeze.“Allthedamntime.”

Carolineundidthetopbuttononhispolo,kissinghiscollarbone.“Didyouhavefunmakingyour

calls?”

“Iwasbeggingpeopleformoney.So,no.”

“IwishI’dbeeninhere.Ilikehearingyoubeg.”Shetuggedatthebottomofhisshirt,untucking

it.

“Oh,really?”Jackforcedherarmsbehindherback.“Ilikehearingyoubeg,too.”

Thatbitetohisvoiceturnedheroninalltherightplaces.“Whatdidyouhaveinmind?”

Hebroughthislipstoherear.“Wehaveallsortsofrestraintsinthebedroom.Iknowhowdifficult

itisforyoutokeepyourhandstoyourself.”

“Idon’tknowifIcanbetaught,”shesaid.

“Ithinkyoucan,withalittlehelp.Shallwecontinuethisconversationelsewhere?”

“Absolutely.”

Jacktookherhandandledherintothemastersuite,closingthedoor.

“Afraidsomeone’sgoingtocomein?”Carolineasked.

Helaughed.“Forceofhabit,Iguess.”

He’dspankedher.He’dalludedtotyingherup.Shehadtomakesuretocoverallherbases,just

incase.Everythingwasstillsonew.“Youdon’thaveanycamerasplantedinhere,doyou?”

“Iwouldneverdoanythinglikethatwithoutyourconsent.Idon’twanttoshareyouwithanyone

else.”

Good.Cameraswereano-no,particularlysincetheyweresooftenphotographedinpublic

makingkissyfacesateachother.They’dhavetobecareful.

Jackslidherunderweardownherhips.“Idon’tthinkyou’llbeneedingthese.”

ThankGod.Shehatedthongswiththepassionofathousandsuns.Carolinesteppedoutofher

pantiesandleanedinclosertoJack.

“Areyounervous?”heasked.

Hemusthavenoticedtheslighttrembleinherstep.Thehitchinherbreath.“I’malittlemore

excitedthanIshouldbe,”shesaid.

Jackbitherearlobe.“I’mgoingtomakeyoucomesomanytimesyoupassout.”

Ahellofathreat.“Isthatevenpossible?”

“Icertainlyintendtofindout.”Hetrailedafingerdownherbreasts,wrappingbothhandsaround

thecorsetandpullinghercloser.“YoulikedwhenIspankedyou.”

Sheflattenedherpalmsagainsthischest.“Yes,”shewhispered.“HowdidyouknowIwould?”

“Itookachance.Doyouwantmetodoitmoreoften?”

Shedidn’thesitate.“Yes.”

“Maybetonight?”

Shenodded,theprospectleavingherunabletospeak.

Jackkissedhercheek.“Howaboutrightnow?”

“Sweetheart,we’reabouttoland.”Herhusband’svoicejerkedherawake.

Carolinerubbedhereyes.“What?”

“Theplaneisstartingtodescend.Thoughtitwastimeforyoutowakeup.”Hegrinnedather.“Have

anicenap?”

Oh,boy.“PleasetellmeIwasn’ttalkinginmysleep.”

“Youweren’t.”Hewaswearingkhakipants,acorduroyjacket,andanOxfordshirt.Withhisneatly

trimmedbeardandglasses,helookedlikeamildmanneredcollegeprofessor.Averysexymildmannered

collegeprofessor.Sheresistedtheurgetolickherlips.

“Ihadahellofadream,”shesaid.“Idon’tknowifit’ssafetotellyouhere.”

“Tryme.”

Thatnighthadbeenthebeginningofaverymemorablesummer.Shewhisperedsoftlyinhisear.“I

wasrememberingthefirsttimeyouspankedme.Doyourememberthat,Jack?Youwokemeupright

beforethegoodstuff.”

“MyGod,woman.”Hetuggedathiscollar.“Whatwasthegoodstuff?”

“Youspankedmeandleftmetiedtothebedwhenyoumadeafundraisingcall.Onehellofan

initiationintoourlifeofsinfulsexualdecadence.”

“Yourflightwasclearlymoreinterestingthanmine.”

Apparentlyso.Afewbriefingbookswerestuffedintheseatpocketinfrontofhim.“Mystreamof

consciousnessworksinmysteriousways.”

Heshiftedinhisseat.“Youdohavethemostfascinatingdreams.”

Carolinehadn’tanticipatedit,butwasn’tgoingtocomplain.Reminiscingoverpastachievements

wasmuchbetterthancalculatingairspeedandtraveltime.“Darling,trytogetyourselfbacktogether

beforewedeplane,”shesaid.

“Idefinitelyshouldn’tstandupyet.”Jackchuckled,amusedbyherrevelation.“Whatagreatnight.I

wasalittleterrifiedyouweregoingtodestroytheheadboardafterIlefttheroom.”

“Ialmostdid.”

“Ifiguredyou’deitherwanttocutmyballsofforletmefuckyourbrainsout.I’mverygladyouwent

withthelatter.”

“Don’tthinkIdidn’tconsidertheformerwhenyouwereoutoftheroom.Jerk.”

“IknewifyouwerestillturnedonafterIleft,we’dbeinforaveryinterestingweekend.”

Interestingwasputtingitmildly.“We’vehadmuchmorethanjustoneweekendofthatsortofthing.”

Hekissedthebackofherhand.“Ihaven’tforgotten.”

Thetranquilizerwasfading,butCarolineremainedrelativelycalm.Compartmentalizationhadits

merits.“Let’skeepthistripaspositiveaswecan,okay?”

Jackputhisarmaroundher,knowingshehatedlandings.“Absolutely.”

AnuneventfuldrivefromAmsterdamtoTheHagueandasecuritybriefinglater,theyarrivedattheir

hotel.Theyhadthreeprotectivesquads–Crunch,Jones,andGiginoneroom,theCBIagents,andtwo

U.N.Peacekeepersflownintoescortthemtotheirappointmentsfortheweek.Theyhadadriver

availabletwenty-fourhoursaday,butwereencouragedtostayaslowprofileaspossible.

Jackslidthekeycardintothedoor.Carolinegasped.“Lookatthisplace.Kingsizebed.Verynice.”

Hetossedhistoiletrybagonthechairinthecorner.“Appearstobeanormalhotelroomtome.”

Itwasstillalittlefancierthanusual.“Theymusthaveheardabouthowpretentiousyouare.”

“Hey,now.I’vebeenbunkedupinasardinecanforthelasttwoyears.YouthinkIdon’tknow

upscalewhenIseeit?IlivedinEuropeanhotelroomsforyears,remember?”

Thathadslippedhermind.“YoumusthavestayedinnicerplacesthanIdidincollege.”

“Ah,yes.Iforgot.Youfoundyourselfandexploredyourdeepestinnermostthoughtsduringa

mandatorybackpackfromBelgiumtoFrancetoItaly.”

Shesmackedhisarm.“Don’tbemean.Thatwasthebesttripofmylife.”

“Probablybecauseofallthepotyousmoked.”

“ProbablybecauseIwasbymyself,”sheretorted.

Hehuggedher.“Doyouwishyouwerealonenow?”

“Notachance.”Carolineflungopenthecurtains.“Ohlook,abalcony!There’sagreatviewof…the

parkinglot,”shesaid.“Allright.Maybetheviewisn’tsohot.Butthisroomisawesome.”Sheran

around,openingdrawers,examiningalltheitemsontheshelvesanddesk.

Jacksmiledwarmly.“It’slikeyouthinkwe’reonvacation.”

She’dtakethewhimsicalmomentswhentheycame.Perhapssomedaythey’dlast.“Yousaidtobe

positive,right?”

Hesatdownonthebed,takingoffhisshoes.“Fairenough.Carryon,myintrepidexplorer.”

Carolinegiggledwhenshegotintothebathroom,returningtoJackwithasmallbasketinherhands.It

wasfulloflube,condoms,andothersundries.“Thismustbeahotelforsexfiends.”

“TheDutchareanenlightenedpeople.Maybethefolksatthecriminalcourtdidtheirresearchbefore

bookingusaroom.”

Shesetthebasketdownonthenightstandandsettledinbesidehimonthebed.“You’requitedroll.”

Jackwrappedhisarmaroundher.“Wanttouseanyofthatstufftonight?”

Whenshewasstillhavingvividflashbackstoherdreamontheplane?“Youbet.”

“Really?”

“Whynot?”

“Ijust–Iwasn’tsureyou’dbeupforthatanymore.”

They’dplayedaround.Testedsomeboundaries.Nothingclosetowhatthey’ddonebefore.She

missedit.Shedidn’tneedadreamtoremindher,either.Shejusthadtofindawaytoremindhim.And

shecouldstartwithakiss.Orthree.

Jackbitherlip.“Ilikethemoodyou’rein.”

“Wedon’thavetogoout,”shemurmured.“Wecouldstayhere.”

“AndhaveyouwearfatiguestotheICCtomorrow?Notachance.”Hekissedher.“I’mgoingtotake

youshopping,thendinner.Then…we’regoingtopickupexactlywhereweleftoff.”

Herfeethurt.Carolinewasusedtorunningandwalkinglongdistancesbuthell,they’djustflownfive

thousandmilesandshehadsomeseriousmusclefatigue.Andthey’dbeenshoppingforatleasttwohours.

“Iassumedyou’dletmenapbeforerunningmeraggedacrossvariousshopsandrestaurants,”shesaid.

“Yousleptontheplane.I’mhappytoletyourestoncewe’redonepickingoutclothes.MaybeIcan

joinyourbodyguardsoutonthetown.”

“Ourbodyguards,”Carolinecorrected.“Andyou’restuckwithmeallnight.”

“Iguessthat’sanacceptableoption.”

Tobefair,thereweren’talotofavailabledatingprospectsontherebelbase.Shecouldhardlyfault

theguysforexploringthearea.“Probablywouldn’thurtforthemtounwindbeforeweheadtotheICC

tomorrow.”

“Probablynot.”Jackheldupablackdress.“Wouldn’thurtforyoutoloosenup,either.”

Longsleeves,highcutneck.Perfectforhidinganyscarsshemightfeelself-consciousabout.Silky

andsatinyenoughtobeflatteringashell.“Isasexyoutfitpartoftheplan?”

“AslongasIgetlaid,Idon’tmuchcare.”

Whataone-trackmind.Shegrabbedthedressoutofhishands.“SexisalwaysonthetablebutIwant

theprettyclothes,thankyou.”

Jackpointedatagarterbelt.“Caretocompletetheoutfit?”

Screwhersorefeet.Classyshoesmadeherfeeldignified,evengraceful.“Onlyifwecanfindapair

ofredpatents.”

“Deal,”hesaid.“Let’saddthistoourpileofpurchasesandgetgoing.”

ChapterFive

Carolineworetheblackdressandredpatentstodinner.Localfare,notexactlyblacktiebutcertainly

ritzy.She’dsplurgedonsomemakeupandperfume.Weirdtoputitonaftertwoyearsofgoingaunaturel,

butwhenfinishedshedidn’tlookhalfbad.

SheandJackavoideddiscussingsensitivetopicsduringtheirmealandthecarridebacktothehotel.

Notalkofhertestimonyortheuneasetheybothhadgoingoutinpublic,andtheyneatlysidestepped

anythingregardingthebasketofmaritalaidswaitingforthematthehotel.

“Well,”Carolinesaid,sittinginthechairacrossfromthebedandslippingoffhershoes.Shehadn’t

worntheminyearsandwouldhavetowalkextraslowlythenextdaytogetacclimatedtothemagain.

Funnyhowshecouldhandleatwentymilehikeinbootsbutashortjauntinnylonsandheelscouldputher

downforthecount.

“Well,”Jackrepeated.

Weren’ttheyawkward.“Dinnerwasnice.”

Heeyedherdress.“Indeed.”

“Gotanyplansfortonight?”

“Sweetheart,stoppracticingavoidance.Whatdoyouwanttotalkabout?”

“Youdidn’tbringitupeither.”

“Iassumedyouwould.You’retheonewhomentionedittobeginwith.”

Hismerepresencecouldintimidateheralmostasmuchasitcouldintrigueher.“Youwerehesitant.I

didn’t-”

Jackkneltonthefloorinfrontofherchair.“Caroline,Iwaslettingyoutakethelead.Iwantyoutobe

comfortable.WhatmakesthisenvironmentdifferentthanCalifornia?”

“We’vedonealotofkinkyshitinhotelrooms.”

Thatdrewasmile.“Indeedwehave,bothseparatelyandtogether.Andwedon’thavetodoanything

youdon’twant.”

Familiarwords.“Iknow.”

Jackmusthaveheardtheindecisioninhervoice,becausehestoodupandleanedtowardherear.

“Don’tbeafraid.”

Carolinekissedhim.“Iwantyou,”shewhispered.

Heledhertothebed,pressingagainstherback,puttinghisarmaroundherwaist.“Tellmewhatyou

wantmetodo.”

Hewassafe.Theyweresafe.Theyhadsecurityeverywhere,theywereniceandwarmandrelatively

free,andhewouldlistentoher.Respectherneeds.Maybehewasn’tasreluctanttoplayasshe’d

assumed.Carolinerubbedhisarm,desperateforhimtotouchherbutembarrassedtotellhimwhatshe

reallywanted.Whatifhesaidno?“I-”

“Ifyouwantmetotakethelead,Iwill.”

Howconsiderateofhimtoask.Heusuallydiditanywaybuthewassogoodatknowingwhenshe

neededreassurance.“Please.”

Hebitherneck.“Doyouwanttoplay,Caroline?”

Oh,fuck.He’dgoneaheadandsaidthosewords.Evenifshedidn’tliterallygoweakattheknees,

shemetaphoricallymeltedinhisarms.“Yes,”shesaidsoftly.

Jackkissedthebackofherhead.“Tworulestoaddtoouroldones.First,ifanythingcomescloseto

triggeringsomething,youknowwhattodototellmetobackoff.IfIsenseyou’recloseI’mgoingtostop

regardless.Andsecond,Igettoremoveyourdress.”

Carolinelaughed.“Okay.”

“Turnaround,”hesaid.“Didyoulikewearingthis?”

Shenodded.

“Youneedn’thideyourscarswhilewe’rehere.”

Ithadbeenaconsideration.Herblouseshadlongsleeves,herskirtshitattheknee,herjacketsleeves

completelycoveredthephysicalremindersofhertorture.Sheneededtohavethepowertorevealthemif

andwhenshechose.“Idon’thidetheminfrontofyou.”

“Andyoushouldn’t.”Heunzippedherdressandsliditdownherarms.Itpooledatherfeet.“You

lookedbeautifultonight.Butyoualwaysdo.We’retakingeverylastthingweboughtbacktoCalifornia.”

Hespunherbackaround,pinchingherchinbetweenhisthumbandforefinger.“Takeofftherestofyour

clothes,”heordered.“Slowly.”

Oh,hewasdefinitelyintothis.“Eventhegarters?”sheasked.

“Youknowbetter.”Whenshehadstrippeddown,Jackcametowardher.“Spinaroundforme,”he

said,hiseyespiercinghers.

Carolineobeyed.Heranafingerdownherspineandsheshivered.“Lovely,”hemuttered.He

stoppedwhenhegottotheindentationjustaboveherrear.“Mylittletiger’stail.”Jackkissedher

shoulders.“Getonthebed.”

Shestartedtomoveuntilsheheardhisbreathhitch.

“Wait,”hesaid,andtuggedatthebobbypinsholdingherloosebuntogether.Herhairfelltoher

shoulders.“That’sbetter.”Hepulledbackthecoversuntilonlythesheetsremainedonthebed.“Liedown

onyourback,closeyoureyes,andspreadyourlegs.”

Oh,sweetJesus.Carolinecouldfeelherthighstrembling,butclimbedontothebedanddutifully

spreadthemforhim.

“Wider,”hesaid.Shedidn’thavetolookathimtoknowhewassmiling.“That’sverynice.”

She’dseenrepentantJack,melancholyJack,sweetJack,evenalphaJack.Butthereturnofsexually

commandingJackleftherinagiddy,quiveringhaze.

“Handsbehindyourhead,”heordered,kneelingonthebedtowhisperinherear.“Youknowwhatto

sayifit’stoomuch.Sayitearlierthanyouwouldbefore,allright?”

“Okay,”shewhispered.“Butyou’redoingreallywellsofar.”

Hekissedhercheek.“Iwantedtoremindyoubeforeitgottoointenseandyouforgot.Keepyourlegs

open,”hesaidsharply,asshebegantosquirmonthebed.Jacknuzzledherneck,hishandsdriftingtoher

breasts.Shemoanedashetweakedhernipples.Thatwouldn’tbeallhewoulddo.He’dwantmore.Alot

more.Sureenough,hetookoneoftheminhismouthandbitdownhard.Hereyesflewopen.This–

whateveritwastheyweredoing–wastoomuchbutitwasn’tenough.Andsheknewshehadtoslowit

down.Sheinstinctivelyreachedforhim.

“Letmetouchyou,”shesaid.

Jackgrabbedherhands.“Notnow,sweetheart.”

Shestruggled,reachingforhisface.“Please.”

“Youcandothis,”hesaid.“Youcancontrolyourreactions.Letyourselffeelgoodwithoutworrying

aboutme.”

“Please,Jack.”

Heleaneddowntokissher,hard,untilshegavein.“That’sbetter,”hesaid.“Putyourhandsbehind

yourhead.”

Jackwasincontrolmode,butnottoocontrolling.Shecouldaffordtobeabitsassy.“Fine.How

comeyougettokeepallyourclotheson?”

Hewalkedhisfingersdownherneckline,squeezingherbreastsagain.“I’mkindofbashful.”

Nowhewastoyingwithher.“You’refullofshit,”shegroaned.

“Probably,”Jacksaid.“Closeyoureyes.”

Shewantedtoobject.Toldherselftoobject.Butthatlittlevoiceinherheadthatcommandedherto

obeywasgettinglouderandlouder.Jackmoveddownherbody,teasinghisfingersalongoneofher

thighs.Heglidedhishandacrossherhipbonesbeforedriftingdowntheotherleg,andshewhimpered.

“I’msorry,”hesaid.“Didyouwantsomething?”

Lethimdothistoyou.Carolinereachedforthepillowunderherheadandpulleditoverherface.

“No.”

“That’swhatIthought.”Jackkissedtheinsideofherthighs,untilhisnosewasatherclit.Shearched

towardhim,herbodybeggingtobetouched.Hepulledawayandstartedkissingherstomach.Caroline

mumbledafewchoiceobscenitiesintothepillow.“Whatwasthat?”heasked.Hekissedthescaronher

abdomen,runninghisfingernailsdownherthighs,overherhips,beforemovingbackupagain.Itwas

unbearablehowherefusedtotouchherwheresheneededitthemost.

Carolineclenchedherkneestogether,hearingayelp.Shehadn’trealizedJackhadbeenworkinghis

waybackdownandshe’dalmostmanagedtobreakhisnose.Sheshovedthepillowtotheside.“Oh

Jesus,Jack.I’msorry.”

Helaughed.“No,you’renot.”

“DidI-”

“Igotoutoftheway.That’swhatIgetforteasingyou.”

“Ilovedit,”shesaid.“Ijusthadamomentofimpatience.”

Jackpulledhertoasittingposition.“Sweetheart,Iknowit’shardforyoutofocusonyourself,butI

wishyou’dtry.Letmedothework.”

She’dbeentryingsohardtoheedhiswords.Togivein,letherselffeelallthethingsshe’dforgotten.

Itstillhadn’tbeenenough.Hermindandherbodyweren’tinsync.“I’mhavingtroublefocusing.”

“Wecanchangecourse.”Hekissedher.“Whatdoyoureallywant?”

Maybeshecouldshakeitup,gettotherootofherreticence.Seehowfarhewaswillingtogo.

Carolineranherfingersthroughhishair.“Whydon’tyouletmetakechargesomeofthetime?”

“Isthatwhatyouwant?”

Maybe.Idon’tknow.“Howdoyouknowitisn’twhatyouwant?”

“Ineverthoughtaboutit.”

Shefoundthatclaimdubious.Hehadtohavethoughtaboutit.Shedid,allthetime.Lettinghimtake

theleadfreedherfromherotherworries,butshealsoenjoyedhisreactions.Thereweretimeswhenhe

mighthavegottenmoreoutofitthanshedid.“Ihavemanypleasantmemoriesfromthefirstcoupleof

yearsweweremarried.”

“SodoI.”Herhusband’sexpressionwasmorethanalittlesmug.“Alotofwhatwedidwaspretty

hot.Doyoumissit?”

Ifherdreamswereanyindication,absofuckinglutely.“Ido.”

“YouthinkIwasn’tgettingsomethingoutofteasingyoujustnow?”heasked.

“I’msureyouwere.Itjust–it’sdifferentsomehow.Notlikeitusedtobe.”

“Nothingislikeitusedtobe.”

He’dgonefromconceitedtowistfulsoquickly.Histonemirroredhermood.“Ifeellikeyou’re

afraidofhurtingme,”shesaid.

“Iam,”Jacksaidsoftly.“Idon’twanttoremindyouofbadexperiences.”

Someenlightenment,perhapsforthemboth.“YoumeanwhathappenedatTheFed.”

“Yes.”

“There’sadifferencebetweengettingturnedonbylettingyourhusbandorderyouaroundandhaving

someonebeattheshitoutofyouwithoutyourconsent.Ifanythingyoudidbotheredme,I’dtellyou.”She

thoughtbackonthatnightinBeverlyHills.Oneofherfavoritememories.Ithadbeenhardtotop,but

they’deagerlyattemptedrepeatperformanceswithgreatsuccess.“We’vehadsomereallymind-blowing

sex,Jack.”

Heleanedovertobiteherlip.“Indeedwehave.”

Maybeshecouldturnthetables.Seehowfarbothofthemwerewillingtogo.“Howaboutwemake

somemorememories?”Carolineunbuttonedhisshirt,strokinghimthroughhisdresspants.“Itwouldbe

soveryniceifyouundressedforme.”

Hismovementswereslow.Deliberate.Curious.Hewasturnedon.Reallyturnedon.Shewondered

ifherealizedhowintenselyhewasreactingtoher.Hestrippedoffhisshirtandkickedoffhispants,

boxers,andsocks.Carolinegazedathischiseledbody,admiringtheview.Shepickedhisshirtup,slidit

on,andrebuttonedit,rollingupthesleeves,inhalingthelingeringsmellofhiscologne.

“Sitdown,”sheordered.Shekneltinfrontofhim,teasinghiscockwithherhands.“Whatwasyour

onehardandfastrulewhenyoubossedmearoundinbed?”

Jackclosedhiseyes.Shewasthrowingoffhisconcentration.Good.

“Youhadtokeepyourmouthoffmydick,”hefinallysaid.

“WhathappenedifIdidn’t?”Carolinelickedhimlightlywithhertongue,kneadinghisballs.

Heclenchedhisteeth.“I’dspankthehelloutofyou.”

Sheranherfingersupanddownhisshaft.“Why?”

Jackgroanedasshecontinuedtostrokehim.“Jesus,Caroline.”

Shequickenedhermovements.“Why?”

“Becauseyoudisobeyedme.”

“It’smorethanthat.Why?”

“BecauseIdidn’twanttolosecontrol,”hesaid.“Iwasincharge.I’malwaysincharge.”

Hehadsomedamngoodself-awarenessforamaninthemiddleofahandjob.“Stunninganalysis,

Mr.McIntyre.”Carolinetookhiminhermouthforamoment,ashecontinuedtogrowl.Heputhishandon

thebackofherheadandshepulledback,slappingitaway.“Ohno,”shesaid.“Notouching.Youjustget

towatchmesuckyouoff.”

Jackwrappedhisfingersaroundthetopofthemattress.“Youwin,baby.Igetyourpoint.Okay?”

Shecouldindulgehimalittle.Sheclimbedontohislap,kissinghimdeeply.Hepressedinsideher

andshemoaned,temporarilylosingherconcentration.Hediditseveralmoretimesuntilsheclawedhis

back.Shecouldfendoffhissneakattack.“Oh,wecan’thavethat,Jack.Youdon’tgettomisbehave.Not

tonight.”Carolinekneltdownonthefloor,wrappingherlipsaroundhimagain.Itdidn’ttakelongbefore

hewaspushingup,tryingtothrustintohermouth.Asignalthathewantedtobeinsideher.Subtlebutnot

quiteenough.

Shetriedtokeepgoing,tofinishwhatshestarted.ShewasstrongbutJackwasstronger,and

probablyalwayswouldbe.Onelittlemovement,herpullingbackandhimreachingforher,andshewas

onhislapagain.Hewrappedonearmfirmlyaroundherwaist,usinghisotherhandtogripthebackofher

neck.

“Don’tmove,”hesaid.

Shecouldpretendtostruggle.Batathishands,scratchathisfingers.Playafalsegameofresistance.

Carolineswattedathisarm,andhegrippedhertighter.

“Thisiswhatyouwantedallalong,isn’tit?”hehissed.

Maybe.Idon’tknow.

Yes.

Definitelyyes.

Thedreamduringtheflight.Thatdamndream.Ithadtriggereditall,toldherwhatsheneededthe

most.Whatshehadtoaskfor.Therevelationthrewheroffandshewasdistractedenoughforhimtodrive

herhipsdownwardontohim,forcinghertofeelhislength.

“Isn’tit?”herepeated.

Whathappenedwhenlongingtrumpedcaution?Shetriedtopushawayfromhim.“Jack,please.”

“Youcanpretendtobeincontrolbutthisiswhatyou’vewanted.Allnight,”hebreathed,pushing

himselfdeeperinsideher.

Hefeltsogood.Sosafe.Sohers.SoJack.

“Doyouwantmetostop?”heasked.

Ifshesaidtheword,hewould.Butsheremainedsilent.Itwasstilltoomuch.Hermouthstayedshut

andherbodyreactedofitsownaccord.Carolinetriedtosquirmawaybuthewastoostrong.

“Doyou?”herepeated.

Hemovedherupanddownontopofhimuntilshecollapsedagainsthisshoulder.Hewasgoingto

getwhathewanted.Theybothwould.Shecouldn’tdenythetruthanylonger.

“No,”Carolinewhispered.

“EverythingIam,everythingIhaveisyours,”Jacksaidquietly.Hemovedsmoothly,almostsoftly.

Neverquitepullingoutandneverquitegoingdeep.Unhurriedmovementsmeanttotantalizeasmuchas

tease.“Thisisyours.Thisbelongstoyou.Ibelongtoyou.”

Carolinetuggedathishair.“Iknow.”

“Isthiswhatyouwant?Icoulddothisallnightandnotgettired.UnlikeyouIhaveplentyofself-

control.I’mnotgoingtobefinishedforagoodlongwhile.”

Shegavehimafiercelook,eventhoughthereweretearsinhereyes.Carolinetookhishandsinhers,

tremblingasshemovedhispalmstowardherbackside.“YouknowwhatIwant.”

“Sayit.”

Hewasn’tgoingtomakethiseasy,washe?Itwasherownfaultfornotfiguringitoutsooner.Her

dreamsalwaysmeantsomething,whetheritwashersubconsciousplayingonherguiltorfeedingher

unfulfilledyearnings.She’dspentmostofthedayhopinghe’dcatchon,takethelead.Butthatwas

irresponsible.Jackwasnevergoingtodowhatshewantedunlesssheaskedforitdirectly.Sheclosedher

eyes.

“You’rejustgoingtomakeitworseforyourself,”hesaid.

Ornot.Maybeshecouldpushitagain.Carolinedidn’tsayanything.

“Standup,”hesaid.

Shestumbledbackwardfromthebed,managingtostayonherfeet.

Jackpattedhisknee.“Youknowwhattodo.”

Sheeyedhiserection.“Jack-”

“DoasIsay.”

Shesteppedforwardandhegrabbedherarms,pullingheracrosshislap,groaningagainashisdick

wasnowflushwithherstomach.

Carolinelikedthatfeeling,hisskinagainsthers.Evenifhewasn’tinsideher,hewastouchingher.

Thewayhewaspositioningherledhertobelievehewasn’topposedtothesensationeither.Sherubbed

againsthiscock,feelingherownwetness.

Jackgrabbedherhairandyankedherheadup.Gently,butwiththattouchofalphathatdroveher

crazy.“It’smyturntoteaseyou.Stopthat.”

“No.”

Hepinchedherassandsheyelped.“Thisiswhatyouwantedallalong,isn’tit?Thisiswhatyou’re

afraidtosayoutloud.”

“Yes.”

Hepulledhisshirtupoverherhips.“DidIevertellyouwhatitdoestomewhenyouwearmy

clothes?”

“Icanshowyouwhatitdoestomeifyouletmegetonmykneesagain.”

Jackeasedafingerinsideher.“WhatdidItellyouaboutfocusingonyourself?”Shetriedtotwist

closertohishandandhepulledout,caressingherthighs.“No.Youhavetowait.”Hefondledherass

again.“You’vebeennaughty.”Carolinesquirmedagainsthiserection.Hetuggedatherhairbefore

brushingthebackofhishandacrosshercheek.“Stop,sweetheart.Tellmewhatyouwant.”

“Jack-”

“Youcandoit,”hesaid,thesuddentendernessofhistouchadelicatereminderthatifsheneededhim

tostop,allshehadtodowassayso.Butshewantedhimtokeepgoing.Shejustcouldn’tsayitoutloud.

Ican’t.Sheshookherheadbackandforth.

Heslappedherass.“Tellme.”

Shecouldn’tfightitanymore.Shecouldforceoutafewwords.Maybethenshe’dgetwhatshe

needed.“This.Iwantthis.”

Jackthrusttwofingersinsideherandshecriedout.“I’llgiveyouthisbutIknowyouwantmore.”

Carolinegraspedatthesheetsbutcouldn’tfindenoughmaterialtograbonto.Hehandedherapillow.

“Usethis,baby.SaythewordsandI’llgiveittoyou.”

Shethrewherarmsaroundthepillowasheslidone,thentwo,thenthreefingersinsideher.She

closedhereyes,raisingherassuptomeethishand,moaning.

“Tellme.OrIwon’tdoit.”Hepulledhisfingersoutofher,slidingonedigitoverherasscrack,

teasingherthere.“AndIwon’tmakeyoucome,either.”

“Jack,”shewhimpered.“Please.”

“Sayit.”

Shecouldn’tresistanymore.Thedamwasbroken.“Spankme,”shesaidsoftly.

“Whatwasthat?”

Oh,he’dheardher.Hejustwantedtoforcehertorepeatit.“Iwantyoutospankme.”

Jackpressedhislipstothesmallofherback,lingeringthereforamoment.“Goodgirl.Wasthatso

hard?”

“Please,”shebegged.“Pleasedoit.”

Hesmackedherbottomlightlytoquiether,usinghisotherhandtosmoothbackherhair.“You’llget

whatyouneed,sweetheart.Butwe’regoingtodoitdifferentlytonight.Youhavetotellmetokeepgoing

aftereachone.TellmetostopandI’llstop.”Heleanedclosertoherear.“Don’taskformorethanyou

canhandle,Caroline.I’llstopanywayifIthinkyou’vehadtoomuch.You’vealreadydonesowell,andI

don’twanttoundoanyofit.Areyouready?”

Sheputherheaddown,andashebroughthispalmdownhardonherbackside,shesquealed.

“Thatwasone,”Jacksaid.“Wasthatokay?”

Dominanttocaretakeralphaandbackagain.Maybeshewasn’ttheonlyonehavingissueswithwhat

shereallywanted.“Harder,”shesaid.

Hebroughtitdownagain,andsheburiedherfaceinthepillow.

“Two,”hesaid.“More?”

Wassheexpectedtoverbalize,orwouldphysicalcuesbeenough?Moremeantheightened

awareness,increasedskinsensitivity,beingoverwhelmedbysensationinsteadofprudence.

Rediscoveringthispartofhersexualidentitywasagamble.Itincurredariskoftakingittoofar,ofnot

realizingnewlimitations.Butherhusbandwouldprotecther,evenfromherself.

Hegottotenbeforetearssprangtohereyes,moreasreleasethananythingelse.Jackmassagedher

achingbehind.“Isthatenough?”

Clearlyherphysicalresponsewasn’tasuitableanswer.“No,”shesaidshakily.“More.”

“Comehere,”hesaid,pullingherupuntilshewasstraddlinghiswaist.Shewincedasherassmade

contactwithhislegs.“Ithinkwe’redone.You’vebeenshakinglikealeafforthepastthree.”

“Ihave?”Sheleanedintohisneck.

“Yes,”Jacksaid.“Areyouallright?”

Hedidn’taskoutofcuriosityorconcern.Thequestioncarriedalayerofdistressshehadn’t

anticipated.Usuallywhenherhusbandshowedfearitfrightenedher,butthistimeitgroundedher.

Remindedherofhisgenuine,unpretentiousgoodness,evenwhenhewaspretendingtobesomeoneor

somethingelse.Reliefwashedoverherlikefreshsummerrain.Carolineclungtohim,weepingsilently.

“Sweetheart,that’snowaytoconvincemethisiswhatyouwanted.”

Shehuggedhimtighter,doingherbesttoreassurehimwithactionsinsteadofwords.Heneededto

knowhe’dabsolutelydonetherightthing.“Itwas.Thankyou.”

“Whydidyouaskmetodothat?”

“Youknowwhy.Youwantmetosayitoutloud,too?”

“Yes.”Jackcradledhercloser.“Otherwiseyou’llmakemethinkImadeagiantmistake.”

Carolinepulledbacktofacehim.“Iknowthatnomatterwhatyoudotomeinbed,you’dneverreally

hurtme.You’remyprotector.”

Hestartedtospeakandshecuthimoff.

“Youhavealwaysprotectedme,”shesaidfirmly.“AndIalwayslikeditwhenyousmackedmyass.

Thatstupiddamndream.That’swhatdidit.”

“You’resuchadebauchedwoman,”hesaid.

Itwasnicetoknowshecouldcomforthimsoeasily.“Youknowyouloveit.”

Jackkissedherlightly.“Thatwasn’ttheonlythingyouwantedtonight,wasit?”

Sheblushed.“No.”

Heteasedherclit.“What,then?”

Maybehewouldn’tmakehersayitoutloud.“What’stheonethingIalwayswantafteryoudothatto

me?”

“Areyousure?”

Carolinewipedthetearsfromhereyes.“Theydidgiveusthatlittlegiftbasketforperverts.There’s

noreasonnotto.”

“Youareanaughtygirl.”

He’dgottenthereference.Helovedfuckingherintheassafteragoodspanking.Shelovedthewayit

feltandhelovedthatfinalbitofsexualdominanceattheendofanintenseexperience.Buthe’dalways

useacondom.Itmadehimlastlongerandkepthimreadyincasehedecidedtogoasecondround.

“We’venevereventriedsincewegotbacktogether,”shesaid.“Iwasafraidyou’dsaynoifIasked.

Imissit.Please?”

“Maybeifyoubegalittlemore.”Hedippedafingerinsideher.“Butyougetthisfirst.”

Carolinetriedtowriggleawayfromhim.Likeshegaveashitaboutanorgasm.Shewantedhim

insideher.Inthemostintimateofplaces.“Idon’tcareaboutthat.”

“ButIdo.Plentyoftime,sweetheart,”hesaid,strokingherclit,dartinghisfingerinandoutofher.

“Letmedothisforyou.”

Sheburiedherfaceinhisneck.Ittooktoomuchenergytoprotest.

“Youneverneedthatmuchconvincing.Doyou,baby?”Jacktuggedatherhairwhenshewhimpered.

“Soquicklyalready?Someonegetsexcitedbyagoodspanking.”Shebitathimandhequickenedhis

pace.“Mylittletiger,”hewhispered.

“You’resuchanassholesometimes,”shegasped.“You’redistractingme.”

“Youdon’twantmetostop,doyou?”heasked.“Youwantthis.Sobadly.TellmewhatIwantto

hear.”

“Pleasedon’tstop.”

“That’snotwhatIwanttohear.”

“Iloveyou,Monty.”

Heslidhisfingersinsideherslowly.Twisting,turning,goingdeeper.“Tryagain.”

“Ohfuck,”shesaid.

“Thatwilldefinitelyhappenlater.Butfornow...”Jackpulledhisfingersoutandsheshuddered.

“TellmewhatIwanttohear.”

“Idon’t–Idon’tknow.”

“Saymyname.”

Whatwouldittakeforhimtostarttouchingheragain?“Jack-”

“Whoalwaysgivesyouwhatyouwant,evenwhenyou’reafraidtoaskforit?”

“You,Jack.Onlyyou.”

Heslidhisfingersinsideherandbeganmassagingherclitwithhisthumb.“Tryagain.”

“Alwaysyou.Onlyyou.Pleasemakemecome.”

HerthighsstartedtoshakeandCarolinesquealedagainsthisjaw,throwingherarmsaroundhisneck.

“Yes,”hesaidsoftly.“ThatisdefinitelywhatIliketohear.”

Sheheldontohim,mufflinghercrieswithhisneck,scratchingherfingernailsacrosshisupper

shouldersashecontinuedtocaressherclit.Itwastoomuch.Evenwitheverythinghe’dalreadydoneto

her,itwastoomuch.Shereacheddowntostillhismovementsandhethrewheronthebed,graspingher

wristsinonehand.

“Youdon’tgettostopatone,”hesaid.

Carolineclosedhereyesashebroughthislipstohers,hisfingersstillinsideher.Jackbroketheir

kissandstartedtoworkhiswaydownherbody,teasingherthroughtheOxfordmaterialofhisshirt.

“Ohno,”shewhined.“Nomore.”

“Muchmore.”Heblewlightlyonherclit.“Mine.Allmine.”

Heteasedherwithhistongue,hislips,hisfingers,usingthemalltobringhertotheheightofecstasy

again,untilshefeltlightheaded.Carolinepulledathishair.“Stop,”shegasped.“Pleasestop.”

“That’sall?”heasked,soundingdisappointed.“Thatwasnowhereclosetoten.”

“Itwasdefinitelymorethanone.That’sallIcantake.Givemeaminute.”

“Notimetorest,”Jacksaid,rollingherover.“Getready.Imighthavetodothatagain.”

Couldshehandleanotherorgasm?Carolineroseunsteadilytoherhandsandknees.Jackgrabbedthe

bottleoflubeandacondomandkneltbehindher,caressingherass.“You’rebrightred.”Hegavehera

littleslap.“Didyoulikethat?Allofit?”

“Yes.”

Hesqueezedsomeofthelubeontohisfinger,rubbingitalongthecrackinherass.“Isthiswhatyou

want?”

“Yes,Jack.Please.”

“Sayit.”Hepushedhisfingerinsideherslowly,helpinghermusclesrelax.Itfeltillicit,forbidden.

Andithadbeensolongsinceshe’dhadanalsexthatshe’dforgottenhowgooditfelt.Doingitwasone

thing.Sayingitoutloudwasanother.

“Pleasefuckmethere,”shesaid.

Hepulledhisfingerout.“Tellme,”hesaidquietly.“Youshouldneverfeelanyshameinadmitting

whatyouwant.”

Whenhespokewithsuchencouragement,suchlackofjudgment,shecouldn’tdoanythingexceptblurt

outthetruth,bluntthoughtitwas.“Pleasefuckmeintheass.”

“That’smygirl.”Heremovedthecondomfromitspackageandsliditon,applyingmorelubricantto

theoutside,squeezinganevenmoregenerousamountontohertightopening.Hepositionedhimselfbehind

her,teasingherfirstwithhisfingers,thenhiscock.

“Don’tmakemewaitanymore,”shewhispered.

Jackenteredher,testingitout,lettingherrelaxforhim,untilsheletoutapleasurablecry.Hemoved

inandoutofhergently,usingonehandtoholdhersteady,theothertocaressherclit.

“Youlikethat,baby?”

Asiftheheavybreathingweren’tenoughofanindication.“Pleasedon’tstop.”

“Youalwayssaythat,andI’veneverstoppedonce.”

Herarmsstartedtoshakeandsheburiedherfaceinthesheets,overstimulatedfromthemany

orgasmshe’dgivenher.“Please,Jack.”

Heslidhisfingeroverherclitagain,andshegrabbedontothepillow,imploringhimtokeepgoing.

Hewasclose,soclose.Buthewaswaitingforher,teasingheruntilshewasbeggingforrelease.Jack

placedasteadyinghandonherhip.“Letitgo,baby.Comeformeagain.”

Carolineletoutatremblingwailasheglidedinandout,carefulnottohurther.Shespasmedaround

him,herkneesbuckling.Hecontinuedtomove,feelingeveryinchofher,relishingthecontractionscaused

byherorgasm.Shegulpedforairashecameinsideher,growlingandswearing,hisraggedbreath

confirmationthathewasjustasspentasshe.

Hepulledoutandplacedhispalmsonhershoulders.“Okay,sweetheart?”

Sherolledoverandgiggledlazily.“Thatwasawesome.Ithinkthere’sareasonwhyanalsexusedto

beagainstthelaw.It’stooenjoyable.”

Jacktossedthecondominthewastebasketnexttothebedbeforecurlingupnexttoherandkissing

thesideofherhead.“Howdoyoufeel?”

“Incredible.”Shehuggedhim.“Althoughmyasshurts.Fromthespanking,”sheadded.

“Withyourluckthey’llputyouinoneofthoseergonomicchairswithoutanypaddingtomorrow.”

Shit.Shehadn’teventhoughtofthat.“Inhindsight,thismaynothavebeenthebestplanrightbefore

startingadaylongdeposition.”

“Orlonger.”

Hewasright.Itwouldprobablytakemorethanadaytogetthroughhertestimony.“Wemayhaveto

layoffonsomeofthemoreintensesexytimesforthenearfuture,”shesaid.

“Finewithme.”Jacktweakedhernose.“I’lltakeitwhenIcangetit.”

“Dirtyoldman.”Sheyawned.“Tonightwasdefinitelyworththewait.”

“Ihopethismeansyou’reonthewaytoregainingyourboldnessinbed.”

Itwascertainlyeasierwhenhewasalongfortheride.“Icanjustheartheminthedeposition

tomorrow,”shesaid,takingonamockserioustone.“‘Ms.Gerard,didyoudoanythingtopreparefor

yourtestimonyheretoday?’‘WhatdidIdotogetready?Oh,alittlelightspanking,somesodomy.You

know,sameoldsameold.’”Carolinestartedtogiggleuncontrollably,rollingaroundonthebed,

continuingtolaughuntilshewaspracticallycrying.

“Youareasickpuppy.”Jackkissedherforehead.“Silly,sillywoman.”

“Hey,it’swhatreallyhappened.I’llbesworntotellthetruth.AndI’materribleliar.”

“Idon’tthinktheyneedtoknowanythingaboutwhatIdotoyouinbed.Itmaymakethemjealous.”

Carolinewipedathereyes,hergigglessubsiding.“Incaseyoudidn’tfigureitout,youhaven’t

missedabeatwhenitcomestothesexygames.Thankyou.”

Jackkissedheronthelips.“Ilivetopleaseyou.AndIlovemakingnewmemories.Memoriesthat

belongonlytome.Tous,”headdedquietly.

Carolineputherheadonhischest,snugglingcloser.Therewasn’tmuchshecouldsaytothat.

“Areyouscaredaboutmakingyourstatementtotheprosecutors?”hewhispered.

“Alittle.ImaynotwantyouintheroomwithmewhenI’mspeakingtothem,evenifit’sanoption.

Pleasedon’ttakethatpersonally.”

“Areyousure?”heasked.“Idon’twantyoutodothisalone.”

Carolineproppedherselfupononeelbow.She’dbrokendownsomeofherremainingpsychological

wallsinthebedroombutwasn’treadytoopenthedoortoeverylastdetailofwhathappenedatTheFed.

“Idon’t–itmakesmeuncomfortable.”

Jackkissedherforehead.“Iwantyoutofeelsafe.I’mgoingtoberightoutside,though,incaseyou

needme.”Hecoveredherupwiththeblanket,puttinghisarmaroundher.“Timeforyoutogetsomerest.

You’vegotalongdaytomorrow.”

ChapterSix

Concreteandglass.Tintedwindows.TherewasacertainsterilitytotheInternationalCriminalCourt,

abusinesslike,detachedvibeinthebuilding.Thereseemedtobelightwhereitwasneeded–inthe

lobby,thecourtrooms,commonareas.Acalmingconceptinaplacewhereanxietywasboundtorun

rampant.

Compartmentalize,Carolineremindedherself.Concentrateonthetaskathand.Organizeyour

thoughts.Practiceyourtestimony.Betteryet,distractyourselfwithinaneconversation.

ShenudgedJonesintheshoulder.“Youcleanupprettynice.”

Hespunaroundsoshecouldcatchthefulleffect.“Youdigthesuit,Princess?”

“Navybluepinstripe.Classy.”

Crunchlaughed.“JonesielikestheEuropeanshit.GigandIhadtodraghimoutofthemenswear

sectionbeforeheendedupwithawholenewwardrobe.”

“Youdon’tlookbad,either,”Carolinepointedout.

“Whataboutme?”Gigasked.

Thethreemenwerepressedandpolished.ShewonderedifJackhadslippedthemalittleextra

somethingfortheirwardrobebudgets,butwasn’tabouttoask.“Youalllookfantastic.”

“Makesupforourpersonalities,”Jonessaid.

“Younervous?”Gigaskedher.

Carolineshookherhead,butwaspleasedwhenJacknotsosubtlywrappedhisarmaroundher.“I’m

good.”

Jacksmiledatthemen.“Aren’tyougoingtotellCarolineshecleansupprettynice?”

CrunchranafingeralongthelapelsofCaroline’ssuit.“Sheshinesnomatterwhatshe’swearing.”

Niceofhimtoboostherconfidence.Thegesturehadnotgoneunnoticedbyherhusband,who

squeezedherhip.“Shallwegetthisshowontheroad?”heasked.

Carolinepattedherpurse,feelingtheoutlineofTom’swatch.“Nowornever.”

Theywereallinterrogatedseparately.Carolinewasn’tsurewhetherthey’dgetanythingusefuloutof

GigorJack,buttheinvestigatorsintendedtobeasthoroughaspossible.Shewasassuredthatifshe

neededherhusbandatanytime,he’dbeavailable.Powellwasinaholdingareaandwouldbedetained

forthenearfuture.Whatevershesaidwoulddeterminewhetherhetastedfreedomagainornot.

Theroomwasequippedwithacameraandotherrecordingdevices,markersandawipeboard,and

severaltablesandchairs.Carolinewasgivenwater,anotepadandpen,and–thankfully–anextremely

comfortablechair.Thewomanwhohelpedhergetsettledwasquitenice.HernamewasIrina,andshe

andherparentshademigratedfromtheformerSovietUnionandsettledinAlsace-Lorraine.Shespoke

fluentFrench,Russian,andEnglishandevenallowedCarolinetobrushuponherFrench,thoughshehad

tocorrectherafewtimes.

Carolinegrinnedsheepishly.“I’malittlerusty.”

“You’llgetbetter.AllofourlegalofficersarefluentinEnglishsoitwon’tbeanissue.”

Irinahadn’ttoldhermuchaboutwhowouldbeinterrogatingher.“I’llbespeakingwithanattorney?”

sheasked.

“Givenyourlevelofinvolvementandthepotentialsensitivityofthisinvestigation,wethoughtitwas

best.”

Huh.Wasspecialtreatmentgoodorbad?“Allright.”

Irinapattedhershoulder.“You’llbefine.I’llretrieveMs.Robles.”

Theyweredoingwhatevertheycouldtokeephercalm.Thatwasnice.

Herlegalofficerwaspetite.Blackhair.Lighteyes.MaybeCarolinecouldpretendshewasNatalie.

OrJen.

Jenny.

DefinitelyNatalie.

Thewomanextendedherhand,motioningforIrinatoshutthedooronherwayout.“BeatrizRobles,”

shesaid.

“CarolineGerard,”Carolinesaid.Butsheprobablyalreadyknewthat.Shereturnedthehandshake

anyway.

BeatriztossedafileonthetableandtooktheseatacrossfromCaroline.“Ihavetosay,Inever

thoughtI’dseeacitizenoftheUnitedStatesasanythingotherthananemployee.Eventhen,it’sararity.”

Intheearlystagesofhercareer,CarolinehadconsideredapplyingforapositionwiththeICC.Then

shemetNickyand…herprioritieschanged.“It’shardforAmericanstogetonhere,”shesaid.“Probably

becauseofthefederalgovernment’soddoppositiontoalmosteverythingrelatedtointernational

compacts.”

Beatrizpickedupthefile.“First,letmeassureyouthatalthoughtheUnitedStatesisnotapartytothe

RomeTreaty,jurisdictionwillnotbeanissueshouldweproceedwithprosecution.”

Man,shewasalittletoosmoothandbusinesslike.Didthiswomanputonaperformancewith

everyone,orjusther?She’dgottenalittleworseatreadingpeople.“Iknow,”Carolinesaid.

“Wehaveanumberofdifferentinvestigatorsquestioningyourcolleaguesaswellasthe…prisoner

youbroughtwithyou.”

“Defendant,youmean.”

“Thatremainstobeseen.”Beatrizflippedthroughthepages.“Normallywesendinvestigatorstothe

affectedareastoconducttheirresearchandcollectwitnessreportsbutasyouprobablyknow,thatisn’t

thewisestofmovesrightnow.”

“Iassumethat’swhyI’mhere.”

“Yes.”Theotherwomanshutthefile,slidingitacrossthetable.“Idon’twanttodiscourageyoubut

thishasbeenatoughsell.Itookthefilemyselfandhadtofighttoothandnailwithmysuperiorstogetit

thisfar.”

Aha.Herreticencehadnothingtodowithherfeelingstowardtheaccuserortheallegationsmade.

“Hardtogoafterthekidwiththebiggeststick,”Carolinesaid.

“Especiallywhenthekidisunstable.”Beatrizopenedthefile,motioningtowardthewritten

documentationCarolinehadprepared.“IgrewupinMexico.ReceivedanLL.MfromHarvard.Iam

intimatelyfamiliarwithboththeAmericanlegalsystemandinternationalcriminallaw.Thisinvestigation

isn’tjustabouthumanrightsabuses.It’saboutwhetherit’sworththepoliticalandlegalramifications

fromgoingafterthemostpowerfulnationintheworld.”

“So,whentheUnitedNationsspeaksofbeingaforceforpeaceintheworld,thatfailstoapplywhen

Americansareinvolved?”

“No,butitdoesn’thelpthattheU.S.withdrewtheirsignatoryfromtheRomeTreaty.Thatsenta

signal.Irealizetheargumentsforandagainstit,theprosandconsofbeingpartytoaninternational

system.Thepotentialforabuse.Buttheriskisminimal.Asyouknowfromourhistory,wedonot

undertakeinvestigationsunlesswetrulybelievetherehasbeenaviolationofthelaw.AndfortheUnited

Statestobeinvolvedasapotentialadversary,well…”

“Thepressure’son,iswhatyou’resaying?”

BeatrizsmiledwrylyatCaroline.“Ihavenodoubtyoucanhandleit.Butwe’regoingtoneedrock

solidevidencetomoveforward.ToindictthePresidentoftheUnitedStatesoranyotherhighranking

Americanofficialsforcrimesagainsthumanityisbothunprecedentedandunanticipated.I’msureyoucan

appreciatethehistoricalsignificanceofthesituation.”

Carolineshookherhead.“Ineverthoughtitwouldhappeneither.Yet,hereweare.”

“Iknowthisisn’teasyforyou.”Beatrizpattedherhand.“I’massumingthefewpagesofnarrative

youprovidedbarelyscratchthesurfaceofwhathappened,whichiswhyIwantedtotalktoyoumyself.

I’mgoingtoneedeverydetail,eventhemostinsignificantoffacts.Anythingandeverythingthatoccurred.

Ifyouhavetogivemeaminutebyminuteaccount,doit.Yourtestimonyisthemostpersuasiveevidence

wewillhave.”

“Howdoesthiswork?”Carolineasked.“ArewetalkingastandardQandA,orwhat?”

“I’llconductitlikeadeposition,forthemostpart.It’llbevideotaped.Yourtestimonywillthusbe

preserved,incase…youknow.”

IncaseIdosomethingstupidandgetmyselfkilled.Caroline’sreputationhadclearlyprecededher,

eventhoughrecordingdepositionswasstandardpractice.“Yeah,”shesaid.

“We’lltakephotosofanyinjuries,gostepbystepthrougheverydetailyouhave.Tellmeeverything,

nomatterhowminute.Ifyouremembersomethingelseafteryou’veansweredaquestion,makeanoteand

we’llrevisitit.”ShetappedonCaroline’snotepad.“IfyoustartwritingfranticallyI’llknowtoslow

down.Ifyouneedabreak,tellme.Ifyouneedmetorepeataquestion,tellme.Ifyou’rehungryortired

oranythingelse,tellme.”

Herrepetitionwasnice.Andintentional.BeatrizknewwhatCarolinehadgonethroughatTheFed.

Knewshe’dbeendeprivedoffood.Ofcompanionship.Ofhumandecency.Itwasmeanttosootheand

uplift.Carolinelikedheralready.

“SomeofthestuffI’mgoingtotalkaboutis…difficult,”shesaid.“Wemightbehereawhile.”

Beatrizsqueezedherhand.Agentlesqueeze.Reassuring.Andconfidentashell.“We’regoingtotake

allthetimeyouneed.”

Twoweeksofimprisonment,yearsofactivism…allcondensedintoafewdays.Seemedstrangeto

discussthedetailswithsomeoneshe’djustmet,butitalmostmadeiteasier.Thereweretimeswhen

Carolinewantedaconnectionwithsomeone–aNatalietolistenandinternalize,aJacktoknowwhenshe

neededaffectionandsupport–butitwasmucheasiertostaydetachedwhenshepretendedshewastaking

placeinalawschoolexercise.Aperformance.Playingarole.Thetricksshe’dusedsomanytimes

beforetoblockoutthesignificanceofwhatshewassayingorreadingordoing.

SheandJacksettledintoaroutine.TheyspenttheirdaysattheICC,theirnightsatthehotel.Onceor

twicetheywentouttodinnerbutroomservicebecamestandardpractice.Histestimonyhadfinished

quickly,sohewouldhangoutinthebuilding,readingabook,alwaysonstandbyforcareandcomfort.

GigdidsomeoccasionalsightseeingbutseemedtospendmostofhistimewithJack,whileCrunchand

Joneswerestillininterrogationroomsoftheirown.Maybetheyhadmoretosaythanshe’dthought.

EverymorningCarolinewouldplaceTom’swatchonthetable.She’dstudyit,patitoccasionally

whensheneededtorefocus.HerbehaviorprobablyseemedpeculiartoBeatrizbutsheneverquestioned

it.

Threedays.Threelong,exhaustingdays.Hoursandhoursoftestimony.Carolinewasrunningoutof

euphemismsandprettywords,whichmeantshewasreachingtheendofherstory.

Beatrizcheckedherownnotes.“RobertAllen.EllenGoldman.KathleenThalberg.Werethereany

otherpeopleyourecognizedinthere?”

She’davoideditthebestshecould.Thesamewayshecircumventedthoughtsofherchildren,of

whetherPowellwaslying,ofwhatSantosmightbescheming,ofhowJackhadsuffered,ofthecountless

otherswhomayhavebeentorturedandbeatenandkilled…

“It’sokay,Caroline.”Jen’svoicerangoutwithremarkableclarity.“I’mready.”

SheblinkedandsawJen’spetrifiedface.CarolineknewtheguardshadpurposelykeptJeninthe

clothingshe’dbeenwearingwhenshewasarrested,becauseitwascoveredinblood.Herblood,Eric’s

blood,Katie’sblood–whoknew?

Ascaredstiffappearancecoupledwithadefiantvoice.Herdear,fearlessJen.Carolinestarted

crying.“Iloveyou.I’msorry.Pleasedon’thateme.”

MurdockgaveCarolineonefinalsneer.“Anyotherpartingthoughts?Makethemcount.Iwantto

hearalltheprettywords.”

Shewouldn’tgivehimthesatisfaction.Hewasn’tgettinganythingmorethanhe’dalreadytaken.

“You’llrotinhellforthis,”shesaid.

CarolinefixedhereyesonJen,tryingtotellherwhatshedidn’thavethecouragetosay.To

apologizewithoutwords.Andshedidn’twantMurdockandtheotherstobeprivytosuchaprivate

exchange.Butsheknewshehadtosaysomething,evenifitwasbabblingnonsense.“I’msosorry,

Jenny,”shewhispered.“Pleaseforgiveme.”

JenglaredatMurdock.“You’renottheonewho’llneedforgiveness.”Shebroughthergazeback

toCarolineandtriedtosmile,tearsinhereyes.“Iloveyou.Icouldneverhateyou.Ever.”Hervoice

broke.“I’llhugKatieforyou.”

MurdocknoddedatFischerandhepulledthetrigger.AndCarolinefoundherselfscreaming

again.

Nataliewasright.Shehadtogetbetteratcompartmentalizing.ButtheICChadtoknow.Thetruth

couldn’tstayburiedforever,especiallywhenitinvolvedthemostdamningbitofevidenceinherarsenal.

Evenifitmeantshebecamealesscrediblewitnessbecauseofherinaction.

Youoweher.TellwhattheydidtoJenny.

“There’sonemorething,”Carolinesaid.“Andit’sbig.”

“Thenlet’sgettoit.”

She’dhavetotellJack.AndNatalie.Andanyoneelse.Someday,butnottoday.Carolinerubbedher

eyes.“Thistranscriptwon’tbepublicrecord,right?”

“Thevideowillbesealedfornow.Atsomepointwe’llhavetospelloutthefactsinanindictment

but-”Beatrizgaveheraknowingglance.“Youhavenothingtoworryabout.”

Nicethatshewasn’tpassingjudgment.Unlessshewasjustbetteratplayacting.Ms.Roblesknew

exactlywhatkindofshitpersonCarolinewas.

“Youdon’thavetorepeatanythingyousaidtome,ifyoudon’twantto,”Beatrizcontinued.

Carolineshookherhead.“I’dprefernottoholdapressconference,ifyouknowwhatImean.”

“Youdon’thavetotellanyone.”

Includingmyownhusband?Huh.Maybethiswomandidknowhowshefelt.“Noted.”

“There’sonemorething.”Beatrizswipedatherphone.“We’llneedtodocumentyourinjuries.We

candoitonthevideobutIpreferdigitalphotographs.”

“Pictures?”Carolineaskedblankly.

“Themorephysicalevidence,thebetter.Itallcorroboratesyourtestimony,”Beatrizsaid.

Oh.She’dmentionedthatearlier.HowcouldCarolinehaveforgotten?Shetuggedatthesleevesof

hersuit.Whatanicetimeforanervoustictoappear.“I–ismyhusbandaround?”

Beatrizpattedherontheshoulder.“I’llgogethim.”

Ittookmaybeaminuteforhimtoentertheroom.“Areyouallright?”

“Theywanttotakepictures,”shewhispered.

“Thatseemslikenormalprocedure,right?”

Maybebeingquestionedhadmadehimlosehisprotectiveedge.Heseemedconfused.“Canyoustay

inherewhiletheydoit?”shewhispered.

Hisexpressionsoftenedandhebroughtherintohisarmsforahardhug.“Ofcourse.Whateveryou

need.”

Therewouldbetwoorthreepeopleintheroom.Differentcameras.Differentangles.Alltaking

notes,writingdescriptions,keepingtrackofwhensandwheresandhows.

“I,uh,isitokayifIclosemyeyes?”Carolineasked.

“Youdowhateveryouneedtodo,”hesaid.“Doyouwanttostart?”

Carolinedefinitelyneededtoclosehereyes.Itmadeiteasierwhenthedoorcreakedopenandthe

footstepsstarted.I’mjustherewithmyhusband.Nobigdeal.

Beatrizspokeinalowvoice.“Wecanstartwheneveryou’reready.”

JackgrazedCaroline’sshoulderwithafinger.“Doyouneedhelp?”

Sheturnedaroundandbegantounbuttonhershirt.“No,butifyouwanttostandhereI’mnotgoingto

complain.”

Hervoiceshook.Henoticed.Jackkissedhercheek.“It’sallright,”hesaidsoftly.“They’reall

women.”

Somethingthathadundoubtedlybeendoneonpurpose.Shenoddedinunderstanding.

“Closeyoureyes,sweetheart.”Hegrabbedherhands.“Icandotheshirtifyouwant.”

Shewasnervousandnauseated,andknewtheclothingremovalwouldn’tbetheleastbitsexual.She

felthiswarmhandsonhershoulders.Hisfingersunhookingherbra.Sheheardhisvoice,sureandsteady,

clearandconfident.Itmollifiedher.Jackgaveherverbaldirections,occasionallybrushedhercheekor

squeezedherhandtoletherknowhewasnearby.Afewminutesofpositioningandphotographyseemed

totakemuchlonger.Thewomendiscussedwhattheywerephotographing,probablybecauseBeatrizwas

makingavideooftheentiresession.Pointingoutthelengthofscars,thecolor,thegeneralappearance.

Fillingintheblanks,notinghoweachinjurywascaused.

EachtimeCarolinewouldflashback.Shesawthehammer.Caughtthebuttofahandgun.Feltthe

ropesaroundherwrists.Theknifeacrossherchest.Acrossherstomach.

Andshe’dcounterit,compartmentalizingyetagain.RememberingthefirsttimeJackkissedherscars.

Howhestilldiditeverychancehegot.Howhemadeherfeelbeautifuldespiteherwounds.Shewas

dauntless.Indomitable.Strongassteel.

Theydocumentedthescarsonherbacklast,whichtookawhile.Measuringthelengthofeach,

detailingwhethertherewerebucklemarksorotheranomalies.Carolineclenchedherfists,blockedout

thedarkthoughts,anddidn’tshedafuckingtear.

“We’redone,”Beatrizsaidquietly.

CarolineheardherandtheotherstaffersretreatingasJackenvelopedherinhisarms.Thedoor

clickedshut.“We’retheonlyonesinhere,”hewhispered.“I’msoproudofyou.”

Sheopenedhereyes.“Isthatitfortoday?”

“Isureashellhopeso.Ithinkwe’vebeenthroughenough.”Hepickedupherbraandblouse.“How

doessomeroomservicesound?”

Sheslippedherclothesbackon,claimingasmallvictory.She’dsurvived.“Great.”

Thehotelfoodcontinuedtobebetterthananticipated.Exhaustedafteralatemeal,Carolinewas

restinginherhusband’sarms,decompressinginthemosteffectivewaypossible.“Thankyoufortoday.”

“Ofcourse,”Jacksaid.“ItoldyouI’dbetherewheneveryouneededme.”

“Itwashard,havingthemtakethosepictures.Ifeltliketheymustallhavebeenlookingatme,feeling

sorryforme,maybeevenjudgingme.”

“TheyallsawwhatIsee–courageandbraveryinthefaceofoverwhelming,incomprehensible

evil.”

“Iloveyou,”Carolinewhispered.

Hekissedher.“Iknow.Thepastfewdayshaven’tbeeneasy.”

Whatanunderstatement.She’dnotonlyreopenedoldwounds,she’dcutthemevendeeper.Shehoped

theywouldhealagain.“Ithelpstotalkaboutthisstuff.Alittle.”

“It’sstilldraining.”Hesqueezedherassgently.“Youdookaysittingdownthelastfewdays?”

Hisquestionwasaremindertheyhadn’tdoneanythingmorethancuddleoverthepastfewnights.

“Yes.You’regoingtohavetodobetternexttime.”

Hebitherneck.“I’malwaysupforimprovingmyperformance.Justnottonight.Maybewhenweget

backtoCalifornia.”

“Weshoulddofreakyshitineverycountrywevisit.Forposterityandpractice.”

“Ifithelpsyourelax,I’lldowhateveryouneedmetodo.”

Therewassomuchuncertainty.Somanyunknowns.Somanyquestionsthatneededanswers,evenif

shedidn’twanttohearthem.FleeingtoEuropewasaniceescape.Especiallyifreality,particularly

whateverwaswaitingfortheminCanada,didn’tworkoutasanticipated.“Partofmedoesn’twantto

leave,”Carolinewhispered.

“Despitethereasonwe’vebeenhere,it’sdefinitelyachangeofpace.”Jackrubbedhershoulders.

“ButIagreewithyou.There’sapartofmethatwantstostayheretoo.Maybetakealongtrainrideacross

thecontinent,findyouanicevillainFranceoracottagebytheseaandstaythereforever.”

Carolineclosedhereyes.“Thatsoundsnice.Tellmemoreaboutthecottagebythesea.”

“Thebeachwouldberightoutsideourdoor,”hesaid.“I’dgetyouaneaselandsuppliessoyoucould

paintanythingyouwanted.Wecouldtakeourshoesoffandwalkalongthewater,feelingthesandinour

toes.Atnightwecouldlayoutonablanketunderthestarsanddowhateverwewantedtoeachother.

We’dbetotallyisolated.”

“Youwouldn’twanttodoitduringtheday?”

“Well,”Jacksaid.“Idohavesomerespectability.”

Butnotmuch.“Tellmemore.”

“Therewouldberoomforagardenandyoucouldgrowwhateveryouwanted.Wecouldget

matchingVespasandrideintotownwheneverthemoodstruckus.You’dgetyourfilloffineEuropean

cheesesandchocolates.AndI’dgetyouahelmetwithflamesonitsoyou’dbethehottestmamaonthe

road.”

Hesoundedsoearnestlyexcited.Likehe’dreallythoughtaboutit.Itwascute.“Jack,really.”

“Youwouldn’tlikethat?”

Shecouldpracticallysmelltheseaairjustthinkingaboutit.“Itallsoundssoperfect.Ifonlythat

couldreallyhappen.”

“Maybesomeday.Whenallofthisisover.”

Finality.AtemptingconceptbutCarolineknewbetter.Astorycouldreachitsconclusionwithfar

fromthedesiredoutcome.Oritcouldlingerwithoutaproperdenouement.Thekindofendingthat

wouldn’tgivethemthesoulcleansingresolutiontheysodesperatelysought.“Doyouthinkit’severgoing

tobeover?”

“We’llkeepdoingwhateverweneedtodotofurthertheprocessalong,includinggoingtoCanada.”

Fantasiesaboutbeachlivingwereallwellandgood,butthey’dbothpreferamoregroundedlife

withtheirfamilyintact.“Thenwe’llhaveouranswer,”Carolinesaid.

“We’lldealwithitwhenitcomes,nomatterwhatitis.”Jackcaressedhercheek.“IknowI’vesaid

thismoreoftenthanyoucaretohear,butIaminaweofyou,”hesaid.“I’mgladyou’vegottentothepoint

whereyoufeelcomfortableenoughtoshareyourstory.”

“Maybeitwillbeenoughtogettheinternationalcommunitytodosomething.”Carolinewasn’t

holdingherbreath,though.NotafterwhatBeatrizhadtoldher.Theironicdoubleedgedswordof

centuriesofAmericanmilitarymight–oncepoliticalpowerwasinthewronghands,corrosive

circumstancesmadeitdamnhardforanyoneelsetowrenchawaythetorch.

“We’vealreadyheardrumblings,sweetheart.Thismayforcethemintoaction.”

“Italsomeanswehavetoexposeourselves.Fully.Notjusthere.We’dhavetogocompletelypublic.

Areyoureadyforthat?”sheasked.

“Thetribunalwillsoonbepublicknowledge.That’llbeenoughofahintthatwe’realive,I’dthink.”

Hisvoicewasalittletoohearty.Hehadhisreservations.Hell,sodidshe.Butshedidn’twantthe

weightlessnessoftheconversationtoend.Notyet.“So,oncethisisalloverwecanretiretoEurope?”

“Yes,MichaelandDianacanretiretoEuropeandeatnothingbutcroissantsanddrinknothingbut

wine.”

“I’dratherJackandCarolinebedoingit.Asthemselves.Withouthavingtohide.”Andwithour

children.

“We’llsee.”

Hewascomingdown.Theybothwere.Flirtingneverkeptallthedemonsatbay.“Onemoredayof

this,”shesaid.“HasSchroederheardanythingfromOttawa?”

“Alwaysthinkingaboutthat,huh?”

She’dbeenabletobanishthoughtsoftheirchildrentothebackofhermindwhileshefrettedover

theiroverseastravel,butthepracticalitiesofthenextpartoftheirjourneyseemedaneasyenough

transition.“Ofcourse.Aren’tyou?”

“We’llgetouranswers.”

“It’salmostMo’seighteenthbirthday,”shesaid.

“We’llknowbeforethen.”

Carolineshookherhead.“Whatareweevendoinghere?Whyisthishappening?Weshouldhave

beenpickingoutcolleges,talkingaboutprom,finallybreakingdownandgivingheracarthatwasmuch

tooniceforher,helpingherdoallthethingsshe’dalwayswantedtodo.Thisisn’tfair.”Hervoicebroke.

“WhatifI’mgettingmyhopesupfornothing?”

“We’llcrossthatbridgewhenwegettoit.Understand?”

She’dkeptittogetherformostoftheirtimeinTheHaguebutshe’dreachedherbreakingpoint.“I

missmyMoMo.Imissthemboth.”

Jackpulledhertohim.“Imissthemtoo,”hewhispered.

Sheweptagainsthischestuntilherthroatwasraw.“I’msorry,”shesaid.“Ishouldn’thavefallen

apartlikethat.”

Hekissedherforehead.“You’reallowedtoletyourpotboilover.You’llgetthroughthis,we’llgoto

Canada,andwe’llfindthetrutheitherway.”

Wouldthatgiveherclosure?“Igotyourshirtallwet.Again.”

“YoucanruineveryshirtIown.Idon’tmuchcareforthisoneanyway.”

“You’retoogoodforme.”

Jackwipedtheremainingtearsoffherface.“I’mstartingtobelieveyou.Justalittle.”

Shesnuggledcloser.“Canyouholdmeforawhile?”

“Forever,”hesaid.

Carolinesleptsoundly,cradledinherhusband’sarms,therhythmofhisheartbeatlullingherinto

slumber.Whensheheardvibrationssheraisedherhead,confused.

“Whatisthat?”sheaskedhoarsely.

Jackfumbledaroundthenightstand.“Phone,”hemumbled.“Turnedtheringeroff.”

“Whattimeisit?”

“Late.Early.Whatever.”

Thelightfromthescreenpokedthroughthedarkness.Sherolledoverinaweakattempttopreserve

herhalf-sleepystate.“What’sgoingon?”

“Situp,”hesaid.“Now.”

Carolinerubbedhereyes.“Thisbetterbegood.”

Hehandedherhisphone.“Seeforyourself.It’sfromSchroeder.”

Sentyouagreatoffer.Pleasereadimmediately.Takingavacay.

Shecockedherheadathim.“Caretotranslate?”

Jackputthephonefacedownonthenightstand,yawning.“Wehaveafewhoursbeforewecanhead

overtotheICC,”hesaid.

Heseemedremarkablycalm.Whatthehell?“Seriously,Jack.”

“DocumentssenttoTheHague.SchroederisenroutetoSchiphol.”

“Whatkindofdocuments?”

“Iassumeithastodowithourvisas.IfwecangostraighttoCanada,sobeit.”

“Whydidn’thejustsaythat?”

“Youneverknowwhat’sbeingmonitored.”

“Butthatwasunnecessarilycryptic.”

“Don’toveranalyze,Caroline.”

Sheglancedatthealarmclock.Therewasnowayshe’dbeabletogobacktosleepnow.“Whattime

doyouthinktheystartservingbreakfast?”

“Probablynotforalittlebit.”Jackslippedhishandunderhershirt.“Icoulddistractyoufora

while.”

Goodluckwiththatone.“I’dliketoseeyoutry.”

“Suchincredulity.”Herolledontopofher.“I’mgoingtospendthenexttwohoursprovingyou

wrong.”

ChapterSeven

“Doyouthinkhe’shere?”Carolineasked.

“It’salongflight.Probablynot.”

“Buthesentsomethingahead.Right?”

Jackpressedherhandbetweenbothofhis.“I’msureBeatrizwillbeabletotellus.”

Sureenough,shewasheadedtowardtheminthehallway,astackofpapersinherhand.“You’re

goingtowanttolookatthis.”Beatrizwavedthemintoaconferenceroom.“Heavilyencrypted,sono

dangerofhacking.”

Thatwasstrange.Maybeitdidn’thavetodowiththeirvisas.

Jackflippedthroughthepages.“Whatisthis?”

“Seeforyourself.I’llleaveyoutwoalone.”Beatrizbackedoutthedoor,shuttingitbehindher.

CarolinestaredatJack.“Isitourtravelplans?”

Hisexpressionchangedashereadthefirstpage.“No,”hesaidquietly.“It’ssomethingelse.”

Shegrabbedthepapersoutofhishand.Theheadlineread:AmericanEx-PatsEagerfor

InternationalInterventioninHomelandCrisis

InthemonthssinceAmericanrebelsreleasedclassifiedmaterialsdetailingtheactivities

oftheSantosAdministration,internationalleadershaveenteredintoavigorousdebate

whethertointerveneintheembattlednation’stroubles.ThenowindependentCalifornia

Republichastakenavitalroleinprovidingaidandcomforttotherevolutionarieswhohave

triedforthepasttwoyearstoexposeLorenzoSantos’behaviortotheworld.

WhenSantosfirsttookoffice,therewasnoreasonfortheinternationalcommunityto

believehewoulddoanythingmorethanrecentAmericanpresidentstoisolatetheUnited

Statesfromtherestoftheworld.Asrumorsofrepression,persecutionofpoliticalenemies,

anddisappearancesofthewealthiestAmericansstartedtospread,manyoutsidetheU.S.

chosetoletthecountryflounderonitsown.

Oppressiveexecutiveordersregardingreclamationofwealthandprogramsconscripting

LGBTQ+personsandreligiousminoritiesforquestioningandpsychologicaltreatmentwere

signedafterninemonthsinoffice.Thelegislativeandjudicialbranchesofthefederal

governmentwerelargelynonfunctioning.Alliancesformedbetweenradicalsocialistsand

fascists,PosseComitatus,sovereigncitizens,communists,anarchists,andotherfringe

reactionaries.Theyfoundawelcomehomeinanewrepublicwhereeveryonewhospokeout

wasanenemyandeveryonewillingtosnitch,anally.

RebeltroopshavebeenorganizinginanunknownlocationinCalifornia,although

detailsoftheirplansarespotty.Clearly,theirmaingoalinreleasingthedocumentswasto

maketheworldawareofSantos’trueintentionsuponascendingtothepresidency.Amongthe

mostexplosiveallegations?ThattheRepublicanSantosandleftwingSenatorBernard

Gunderson,aknownsocialist,conceivedtheassassinationofthen-PresidentRichard

Hendricksshortlyafterhewasswornintooffice.SantosselectedGundersonashisVice

PresidentaftertheshockingattackonHendricks,vowingtobringthenationtogetherby

bridgingthegapsbetweenpoliticalextremes.

ClassifiedCIAdocumentsdetailingthisconspiracywerereleasedtotheCBC,BBC,al-

Jazeera,Reuters,andotherinternationalnewsorganizations.Numerousinternalrecords

fromAmericanprisonfacilitiesindicatethatfederallawenforcementagentstorturedand

executedhighprofilepoliticiansandmembersofactivistmovements.

Scoresofgovernmentworkers,formerelectedofficials,andotherasylumseekershave

beenwelcomedbytheCanadiangovernment.AlargenumberliveandworkinOttawa.Many

havebeengivenprotection,financialassistance,andothermeansofsupport.Manyofthem

havestrongfeelingsaboutthedocumentstherebelshavereleased.

“Thetimehascomefortheinternationalcommunitytobecomemoreinvolvedinthis

situation,”saidAmericanex-patJoshuaDelaney.“ThoseofuswhofledtoCanadawantto

returnhome.Weloveourcountry.Wewanttoseeitrestored.Canadaandothernations

shouldlendtheirsupporttotherebelsinanymannertheycan.”

DelaneywasapresssecretarytoformerUnitedStatesSpeakeroftheHouseRobert

Allen,whomdocumentsshowwasexecutedafterextensiveinterrogationatafederalholding

facilityinWashington,D.C.Hewasnottheonlyhighprofileprisoner.Numerousmembersof

theAmericanCongress,theirstaffers,andotherpoliticaldissidentswereallhousedthere.

Nonearebelievedtohavesurvived.

OneofthemostprominentpublicfiguresheldatthefacilitywasformerUnitedStates

RepresentativeCarolineGerard.SheservedintheU.S.HouseofRepresentativesforsix

yearsbeforeretiringtoaidherhusband,JohnMcIntyre,thenafellowmemberofCongress,

inhisquesttobecomegovernoroftheCommonwealthofPennsylvania.

McIntyresucceededinthatendeavorandwasinauguratedtwoandahalfyearsbefore

Santoscametopower.Bothself-identifiedpoliticalmoderates,GerardandMcIntyrewere

thetwomostoutspokencriticsoftheSantosAdministration.Itisnowbelievedtheywere

clandestinelyaccumulatinginformationsimilartothatrecentlyreleasedbytherebels.

Accordingtoleakeddocuments,GerardwasapprehendedinaruralforestinPennsylvania

anddetainedfortwoweeksasfederalagentsattemptedtoobtainintelligenceregardingthe

rebelmovement.Shewasexecutedafterrefusingtoprovideinformation.McIntyre’slocation

isunknown,butheispresumeddead.

Shortlybeforeshewascaptured,Gerardentrustedherchildrentothecareofherclose

friend,formerUnitedStatesSenatorChristineSullivan.Sullivanandherfamilytookcustody

ofthegirlsandwereintentonseekingrefugeinCanada,believingGerardandMcIntyre

wouldsoonfollow.TheywereambushedwhileapproachingthebordercrossingatFort

Covington,NewYork.Sullivan’shusbandThomasanddaughterJessicawerekilledbyU.S.

BorderPatrolofficersafterthefiveAmericansfledtheirvehicleinanattempttocross

throughtheforestintoQuebeconfoot.

Equippedwithnothingbuttheclothesontheirbackandafewmeagersupplies,Sullivan

andGerard’sdaughterstrekkedacrosstheboundarybetweenNewYorkandQuebec.They

struggledthroughnearblizzardconditionsuntiltheymadecontactwithlocallaw

enforcementinDundee.TheyweregrantedasylumandprotectionbytheRoyalCanadian

MountedPolice,byorderofthePrimeMinisterofCanada.Whiletheiridentitiesand

locationhaveremainedasecretuntilrecently,theyarenowwillingtospeakwithreporters

abouttheirordeal.

Gerard’soldestdaughter,MargueriteBaumann,willturneighteeninMarch.Sheisa

poisedyoungwomanwhosedemeanorreflectshermother’sinfluenceaswellasthatof

Sullivan.SheexpressesheraspirationstofindtheAmericanrebelsorinthealternative,

receivepermissiontojointheCanadianForces.Althoughshehadheldouthopethather

parentshadsurvivedthebrutalityoftheSantosregime,shetoldusshewasnotsurprisedher

motherhadbeencapturedbyfederalagents.Weaskedherhowshefeltaboutthedocuments

releasedbytherebels.

“Myparentsweredoingimportantwork.Theirprimaryconcern,asidefromtheirtwo

children,wasalwaysthewelfareofthepeopleoftheUnitedStates.Mymotherdedicatedher

lifetoworkingforjusticeanddefendingfreedom.CarolineGerarddiedapatriot.”

SenatorSullivanhasasimilarperspective.“CarolineandJackfoughtforthe

cornerstonesofAmericandemocracy.ItismysincerehopethattherebelsinCalifornia,

aidedbytheinternationalcommunity,willbringourhomecountrybacktoitsmostbasic

values.”SullivantearsupasshespeaksofGerard.“CarolinereveredtheUnitedStates

ConstitutionandtheRuleofLaw,andwhatshelearnedaboutSantosandhisintentionswas

terrifyingenoughthatshewaswillingtolaydownherlifeinordertotrytopreventhimfrom

devastatingthecountryfurther.IhopethatthevalorCarolineandothersshowedintheface

oftremendousadversityandpersonaljeopardywillbeenoughtoinspireglobalgovernments

tobecomemoreinvolvedinthisbattle.”

Gerard’syoungerdaughter,SophieBaumann,isalmostfourteen.Sheisquietandshy,

butunfailinglypolite.Whenaskedabouthermotherandstepfather,shesimplysaid,“Imiss

themandIlovethem.ButI’malsoproudthattheystoodupfortheirconvictionsuntilthe

veryend.”

Margueriteisbyfarthemoreoutspokenofthetwosiblings,butbothofGerard’s

childrenresembleherinmanyways.AccordingtoSullivan,Sophieinparticularhas

struggledwiththeconfirmationthattheirmotherwas,infact,killedbytheAmerican

governmentshededicatedmuchofherlifetoserving.

“It’sbeenhardforher,”Sullivansaid.“Forbothofthem.Theywereveryclosetotheir

parents.Theyholdtheirmotherinthehighestregardforhavingthecouragetodowhatshe

did.Wearealldeterminedtomakesurehereffortswerenotinvain.Wewanttogohome.”

SullivanleadsasmallcoalitionofformerAmericanpoliticiansandstaffersresidingin

Ottawa.Theirgrouphasincreasedlobbyingeffortstoencourageworldwideinvolvementin

overthrowingtheSantosregimeandreturningAmericatoitsproperstatusasademocratic

republic.Onlytimewilltelliftheywillsucceed.ButthankstotheAmericanrebels,theyhave

muchmorecompellingevidencewithwhichtomaketheirarguments.

Carolinehadstoppedreadingseveraltimes,afraidhertearswouldblurthearticle.Afraidtospeak

forfearshewouldlosecontrolofheremotions.Herhandshadbeenshakingsohardthatshe’dhadtoput

thepaperdownonthetable.Shecouldn’tbelievewhatshewasreading.

TomandJessandtheirforeversmilingfaceswereindeedgone.They’dgiventheirlivesforher

children.Shetriedtosuppressthatfreshgrief,triednottoimaginewhathergirlsandChristinehadgone

throughtomakeittoOttawa.Allshewantedtofocusonwasthattheywereliving,breathing,andinone

piece.

Jackthrewhisarmaroundher,andeventhoughhewascryinghewaslaughingtoo.“They’realive,

baby.They’realive.”

He’dbeenreadingoverhershoulder.Carolineputherheaddownonthetableandbegantoweep.

“Wehavetogothere,”shesaid,hervoicemuffled.“Iwanttoseethem.Allofthem.”

“We’llfigurethatout.TheU.N.canhelp.”

They’ddamnwellbetter.CarolineletJackholdher,onlybringingherheadupwhenBeatrizpoked

herheadin.

“Everythingallrightinhere?”sheasked.

Jackflappedthepapersintheair.“Isthereanyreasontobelievethisarticleisn’tlegit?”

BeatrizsatdownnexttoCaroline,pattingherontheback.“Idon’tthinkso.Therewasno

documentationwithit.Tomyknowledge,ithasn’truninthepapers.Wewouldhaveheardaboutitifit

had.”

“Itcan’t,”Carolinesaid.“Notnowthatwe’vegivenourtestimony.Itputsthemattoomuchrisk.We

havetogettoCanadaimmediately.”

“Iunderstand.”Beatrizstartedtypingonherphone.“Idon’tknowthestatusofyourvisasbutperhaps

wecanmakealternatearrangements.”

TherewasnowayCarolinewasgoinganywhere,whetheritwasCaliforniaorWashingtonorMars,

withoutgettingherasstoCanadafirst.

“Weneedtocharteraflight,”Jacksaid.“Isthatanissue?”

“Itwon’tbe,”Beatrizpromised.“Quitehonestly,Idon’tseehowanythingyoudowon’tresultin

someinternationalaction.”

“OurassistantwasintheprocessofmakingarrangementstogetusameetingwiththePrime

Minister,”Jacksaid.“BeforehetrackedthisdownandgotonaflighttoAmsterdam.”

Beatrizkepttyping.“Besuretotellhimthatindictmentsareforthcoming.”

Carolinetiltedherhead.“Thedecision’sbeenmade?”

Theotherwomannoddedather.“Notsureabouttheextentofthechargesandthedepthofeach

narrative,butwehavesolidcasesagainstMr.Powell,Mr.Murdock,andofcourse,PresidentSantos.We

shouldhavewarrantsinthesystemwithinafewdays.”

“DoyouknowwhereMurdockis?”Carolineasked.

“We’veheardrumors,”shesaid.“Butwedon’tknowanythingforsure.”

“IassumedhewasstillinWashington,”Jacksaid.“Butweneverknowwhat’saccurateandwhat

isn’t.”

“Hecouldbeanywhere,”Beatrizsaid.“We’veheardhintsthatGundersonisnolongerVice

President.Wedon’tknowwhoreplacedhim.Youlikelyhavemorereliableinformationthanwereceive

hereinEurope.There’snowayofknowingexactlywhat’sgoingonintheUnitedStates.”

“Exceptnowyouhavesomeonewillingtospeakaboutwhathasalreadyhappened,”Jacksaid.

“Yes.Thankstoyourwife.”Beatrizstoodup.“LetmeseeifIcancheckonthestatusofincoming

aircraftfromCalifornia.Wouldthatreassureyoualittle?”

Carolinewasflyinghighregardless.“CanyoushowSchroederinwhenhearrives?”

Beatrizbackedoutthedoor.“Iwill.Doyouneedanythingelse?”

“We’refine,”Jacksaid,buttherewasanedgetohisvoicethatgrewevensharperwhentheir

assistantappearedacoupleofhourslaterinfulluniform.Carolinewonderedifheownednormalclothes.

“I’msorry,”Schroedersaidbreathlessly.“IgothereassoonasIcould,didn’twanttosaytoomuch.”

“Yousaidpracticallynothing,”Jacksnapped.

Carolineputherhandonhisshoulder.“Jack,calmdown.Lethimexplainhimself.Youhaveno

reasontobemadathim.”

Jackwavedthepapersaroundagain.Allthatwaitingandhehadyettoletgoofthem.“Ihaveevery

righttobemad.”

“Youweren’tmadatmeorBeatriz.”

“You’renotatfault.”

“Don’tpickaneasytargetbecausehe’sstandinghere.We’vehadastressfulweek.”

Jackpushedherhandaway.“Youaregoingtotelluseverythingyouknowaboutthisarticle,opinion

piece,whateveritis.”

SchroedersmartlytookachairasfarawayfromJackaspossible.“ItwassupposedtoruninThe

GlobeandMailthisweekend.Iconvincedmycontacttohavethenewspaperpullitback.”

“Bullyforyou.How’dyouswingthat?”Jackasked.

“Itoldthemitwouldcompromisetherebellion,”Schroedersaid.“Ididn’tbreatheawordaboutyou

orCommanderGerard.”

“Whyarewejusthearingaboutthisnow?”

“I’vebeensearchingforweeks,sir.Goingthroughmycontactsingovernmentandthemedia.I

didn’t-”

“Howthehelldidn’tweknowthismonthsago?Thisarticlecouldn’thavebeenwrittenovernight.

Especiallyiftheinformationiscompletelyaccurate.”

“I’msorry,sir.InlightofwhatIfeelisaderelictionofmyduty,I’mpreparedtooffermy

resignation.”

“Good,”Jacksaid.“Caroline,givehimyournotepadsohecanmakeitofficial.”

Heneededtoslowdownorhe’dgivehimselfananeurysm.Carolinesteadiedhishand,removingthe

papersandputtingtheminhercoatpocket.“Jack,takeadeepbreath.”

“Iwillnot.CaptainSchroeder,I’dtellyoutogetusonthenextflighttoCanadabutitappearsasif

theU.N.isexpeditingourvisas,whichismorethanwhatyouwereabletodo.”

Schroedergavehimaremorsefullook.“Sir-”

“Ican’tbelievewedidn’tknowaboutthis.Wehavefuckingspiesupthere.”

CarolineputherhandonJack’sshoulderagain.Asafegamble,shethought.“Don’ttakeyourangerat

yourselfoutonsomeonewhodoesn’tdeserveit.Stop.”

“Twoyears,Caroline.They’vebeenuptheretwoyearswithnowordandallofasudden,weonly

findoutwhentheirlocationandidentitiesmightbecompromised?Thisisunacceptable.What’sthepoint

ofhavingcontactsiftheyaren’tstraightwithus?”

“Sir,”Schroedersaid.“Theyhavebeenstraightwithus.Ouroperativesdidn’thavethatkindof

clearance.Hardlyanyonedoes.”

“That’snotgoodenough.”

“ItwasthebestIcoulddo,sir.Thatwecoulddo.”Schroedertookadeepbreath,pullinganenvelope

outofhispocket.“Ihavealreadydrawnuparesignationletter.Youarefreetodischargemefromthisunit

orreassignmetoapositionthatbettersuitsmyabilities.”

Hewasdeferential,remorseful,andreasonable.EvenwhenconfrontedwithJack’suncontrollable

anger.“Don’tberidiculous.It’snotyourfault,”Carolinesaid.

Thelookonherhusband’sfaceindicatedhewasdisinclinedtoagree.“Thehellitisn’t.Thisisa

colossalfuckup.”

“It’sbeenremedied.Thereisnooneelseonbaseremotelycapableofdealingwithusonaregular

basis.Especiallyyou.”Shesmiledslightly.“Andthere’snofuckingwayI’mgoingtotakeoverhis

duties.”

Schroederremainedexpressionless.“Thankyouforyoursupport,Commander,butIthinkthisis

best.”

“Iagreewiththecaptain,”Jackgrumbled.

“YouthinktheCanadiangovernmentknewforcertainwhethertheycouldtrustourmen?”Caroline

askedhim.“ForGod’ssake,Jack,it’snotliketheyknewwewererunningtheshow.Theyhadno

obligationtogiveusthatkindofsensitiveinformation.”

“Weshouldhavebeentold,”hesaid.“Whatuseareourconnectionsiftheycan’tgetusthatsortof

valuableintelligence?”

“Highlyclassifiedintelligence,”Carolinepointedout.“Theyhadnowayofknowingtheintimately

personalreasonsbehindourrequests.”Tearswelledinhereyesagain.“Theyprotectedourchildren.And

Chrissy.Wecanlettheirlackofcandorslide.”

“Weshouldhaveknown,”hesaid.“Itwasn’tfairtoyou.”

Andhimtoo,ifhisfuriousresponsewasanyindication.“Othergovernmentsowemenodutyof

anything,”shesaid.“Don’tmakethisaboutuswhenit’snot.Theydon’tknowwe’realive.”

“Theywillsoonenough.”Jackcaressedhercheek.“Idon’tliketothinkaboutallthatwastedtime.”

Shedidn’twanttothinkaboutiteither.Notwhenshecouldmoveforward.“Wecanremedyitnow.”

Schroederhandedhertheenvelope.“I’mverysorry,ma’am.”

Didhethinkshe’dactuallyaccepthisresignation?Sherippeditintwo.“Irefusetocastblamefor

somethingthatisn’tyourfault.”JackcursedunderhisbreathandCarolinescowledathim.“Youthink

you’regoingtofindabetterassistantthanCaptainSchroeder?”

“Caroline-”

“Well?”

“No,”hesaidquietly.

ShehandedthetwohalvesoftheenvelopebacktoSchroeder.“I’msureyouknowhowtodisposeof

this.”

“Yes,ma’am.”

“We’llneedyoutogobacktoCaliforniatohandlethingswhilewe’reinOttawa.”

“Yes,ma’am.”

“Michael-”

Schroedersmiledather.“Yes,Caroline.”

Jackthrewhishandsintheair.“DoIgettosayanything?”

“Notifyou’regoingtobeadickaboutit,”shesaid.

Herhusbandshookhishead,butshesawhimtryingtohideasmile.“CaptainSchroeder,gofindMs.

RoblesandcheckthestatusofourcharterflighttoOttawa.”

CarolinepokedhiminthechestwhenSchroederlefttheroom.“Wereyouthismuchofanassholeto

yourstafferswhenIwasn’taround?”

“Allthedamntime.”Hesighed.“Ishouldgotalktohim.”

“Yes.Youshould.Justletyourselfcalmdownfirst,”shesaid.“Youremotionsaremorelikelyto

manifestinangerthansadness.It’sokay.”Shestaredatthearticleagain.“Thisisreallyreal.”

Jackwipedhiseyes.“Looksthatway.Onlyonewaytofindoutforsure.”

Holyshit,whatamorning.“I–they’realive,”shesaid.

Hesmiledather.“Thenlet’sgogetthem.”

ChapterEight

Theyfinalizedandreviewedtheirstatementsbeforegoingbacktotheirhotel.Jackwentintoaroom

withSchroederforabouttwentyminutes,soCarolineconsideredthesituationresolved.Theirchartered

flightwasscheduledtodepartthenextmorningwithGig,Jones,andCrunchtravelingalongwiththem.

MountieswouldbewaitingattheairporttotakethemdirectlytoameetingwiththePrimeMinister.

“You’regoingtohavetosleepontheplane,”Jacksaid.“Bringyour‘A’gametoOttawa.”

They’dbeentryingtostaylight.Airy.Fresh.Forthemostpart,they’dsucceeded.Althoughshewas

antsyaboutflyingandevenmoreanxiousaboutwhatthey’dfindinCanada,Carolinefeltjoyful,almost

buoyant.

“Imakenopromises,”shesaid.

“IthinkMs.Robleswassadtoseeyougo.”

Theattorneyhandlinghercasehadgivenherahalfhugbeforesheleft.Completelyunexpected.

“Maybe.Guessshegotattachedtome.”

Hekissedhercheek.“That’seasy.”

Carolinezippedhersuitcaseshut.Shewasalmostdonepacking.Therestcouldwaituntilmorning.

“Todaywasprettygood.”

“I’dsay.”

“Hopefullywe’llhavemoredaysjustlikeit.”Shepickedhisglassesupoffthedesk.“Iknowyou

hatethesebutthey’resuchaturn-on.”

“Oh,really?”

Carolinesatonhislap,puttingtheframesinplace.Sheassessedherhandiworkwithacriticaleye,

adjustingthemslightly.“Theymakeyoulookincrediblyintellectual.”

“AreyouimplyingIwasn’tintellectualbefore?”

“Oh,youare.Buttheglassesaddatouchofsexy.”

“Don’tyoumeannerdy?”

Shebackhandedhisshoulder.“Iusedtowearglasses.”

Henippedatherneck.“LasersurgerywasthebestthingIeverconvincedyoutodo.”

“That’squiteastatement,consideringeverythingelseyou’vesuckedmeinto.Imissmyglasses

sometimes.Easytohidebehindthem.”

Jacktuckedherhairbehindherear.“Ibetsometimesyouwishyoucouldfadeintothebackground.

What’llittakeforyoutofeelsafeagain?”

Themilliondollarquestion.“There’snomagicfix.”

“Doesn’tstopmefromworkingatit.”

Protective,doting,alpha,andstillincrediblyintuitive.Carolinetuggedplayfullyathisgoatee.

“You’regoodatplayingtheintrospectivecollegeprofessor.Maybeit’stimetoadmityou’reacloset

liberal.”

Heslidtheglassesdownhisnoseandwaggledhiseyebrows.“I’dprefersternheadmaster.”

Subtle.Verysubtle.“Doesthatmakemethelonelyteacherdreadfullyinneedofaman?”

“It’sourlastnighthere,”hesaid.“Wanttomakeitcount?”

“Let’ssee.Theworstofourtripisover,we’regoingtoCanada,ourchildrenarealiveandwaiting

forus…Ican’tthinkofabettertimetocelebrate.”

Jackskimmedafingeracrossthetopbuttonofherblouse.“Icompletelyagree.”

“I’mnotoneforinterdepartmentalaffairssoI’dprefertobetheflunkingstudentseekingsome…extra

credit.”

“Naked,flunking,hornystudentisfine,”hesaid.“Icanbethelecherousanthropologyprofessor,

usingmyintellectualabilitiestoproperlyevaluatemystudents.”

Carolineunzippedherskirt.“Pervert.”

“Takeiteasywiththoseclothes.Itoldyou,they’regoingwithus.”

“Wantmetostartwearingeveninggownsandbusinesssuitsonthebase?”

Jackpulledherontohislapeventhoughshewasstillhalfdressed.“Onlywhenwe’realone.”

“I’mnotnakedyet.”

“Soonenough,”hesaid,stillingherhandwhenshemovedtounhookherbra.“Leaveyourblouseand

braonfornow.Halfnakedissexierthannoclothesatall.”

“Really?”

“Ifwe’replayingoutthefantasy,yes.Yougototheprofessor’soffice,waitforhim,startundressing,

andhewalksinand…”

“Catchesmeinamoment?”

“Youfoundhissecretstashofancientcavedrawings,whichareoneofyourmanykinks.”

“IliketotouchmyselfwhilelookingatNeanderthals?”

Heshrugged.“It’syourfetish,notmine.”

Shewriggledonhislap.“I’dliketothinkshehasaseriousoralfixation,notacavemanobsession.

Bothhavetheirmerits.”

“Wouldthatbeapenchantforreceivingoral?”

Carolinestartedsuckingonhisneck.“No,”shewhispered.“Althoughthathasitsmoments.”

Jacktoyedwiththecollarofherblouse.“Areyousure?”

Sheslidoffhislapontothefloor,rubbingherfingersupanddownhislegs.“Icanshowyou.”

“Sweetheart-”

Hewasgoingtoturnherdownafterthatenticingdiscussionoffantasyandfiction?Shefumbledwith

hisbelt.“I’mmadyoudidn’tgetanysuspenders.”

“Caroline,youdon’t-”

“Ido.Iwant.Iwill.”Shepulledthebeltoffloopbyloop,tossingitbehindher.“Idefinitelyneedto

earnsomeextracredit,soI’llbegoingallout.”

Jackgroanedwhensheslippedherfingersintohiswaistband.“AslongasIendthenightinsideyou,

Idon’tfuckingcare.”

Hedidn’tmeanhermouth.Shit.Thatwasn’tpartofherplan.Carolinesatbackonherknees.“Iwant

togiveyouthewholeshow.”

“Youdon’thaveto.”

Shetookaseatonthebednexttohim.Timetofaceanothersexuallyawkwardsubject.“Allright,you

forcedmyhand.Jack,whydon’tyouletmefinishwhenI’mgoingdownonyou?You’vemadeitclear

howmuchyouenjoyit.”

Hetooktheglassesoff.“Iusedallthosewomen,Caroline.BeforeImetyou.”

Atleasthedidn’thavetothinkaboutitverylong.“We’vetalkedaboutthat.I’mnotthem.Andyou’re

notthatmananymore.”

“Itreatedthemterribly.Lettingthemsuckmycockbeforekickingthemoutofthehouse.Usingthem.

Debasingthem.Makingthemfeellikedisposableobjects.ItwasmuchworsethanwhatIrepresentedto

you.InevercoercedthemintodoinganythingbuttheymusthavefeltlikeIdid.Howcouldn’tthey?”

“Haveyoualwayshadthisperceptionofyourbehavior?”

“Forawhile.ItalkedtoNatalieaboutit.”

Yetanotherburdenhe’dbeencarryingalonefortoomanyyears.“Youcan’tchangethewayyou

acted,andyoucan’tchangethewaytheyresponded,eventhoughIthinkyourinterpretationisincorrect.

ButyoucanacceptthatthereasonIdoitisentirelydifferent.”

“Whydoyoudoit,then?”

“BecauseIloveyou,”Carolinesaid.“Whydoyougodownonme?”

“BecauseIlovethewayyoureacttoit.Ilovetastingyou,bringingyoupleasure,lovingyou.”

“Can’tyouseehowthey’rethesamething?”

“Doesn’tfeelthesame.”

“I’mgladyourecognizethepowerandcontrolissuesintertwinedwithoralsex,butyou’re

overanalyzingthataspectofourrelationship.”Carolineletoutaharshbreath.“Trynottofocuson

anythingotherthanwhatoccursbetweenthetwoofus.Youhaveneverdegradedmeorforcedmetodo

anythingIdon’twanttodo.”

Hepulledhertowardhim.“Ibelieveyou,”hesaidsoftly.“ButI’mafraidI’llgetcarriedawaywhen

you’redoingit.ThatI’llhurtyouorturnitintosomethinglessthanloving.Ican’talwayscontrolmyself

whenI’maroundyou.”

“You’renotananimal,Jack.”

Heunironicallybitatherneck.“Sometimesyoumakemereactthatway.Webothlikeroughsex.

Frequently.”

“Ifyoueverstartedtoactinamannerthatmademeuncomfortable,Iwouldmakeyoustop.AndIlike

whenyoucan’tkeepyourhandsoffofme.”

Jackslidhishandunderhershirt.“SometimesIcan’t.”

Hewantedtogettothepromisedlandbutshewasn’tgoingtolethimthroughthegatewithoutalittle

effort.“Youpoorman.WhatwasitlikewhenIwouldn’tgiveyouthetimeofday?”

“Ijackedoffeverymorningandnightthinkingaboutyou.AboutwhatIwantedtodotoyouifIgot

youalone.”

Thatsoundedperfectlywicked.“Well,”Carolinesaid.“I’lltakethatasacompliment.”

“Allthosefantasiesinvolvedyouasawillingparticipant,”Jacksaid.

Hisexplanationwasaweebittoohasty.“I’llbet.”

“Ineverwanttobeanythingotherthanagentlemanwithyou.”

Andyetshe’dneverclaimedtobealady.“Yourinstinctsareusuallydeadonwhenitcomestome.”

“Doesn’talwaysfeelthatway.”

“Theyare.Believeme.Iwanttoactoutsomeofthosefantasiesyouhad.Afterall,wedon’twantour

sexlifetogetstale.”

Jackpulledhertoherfeet.“Thathasneverhappened.AndyousayI’mthepervert?”

Carolinewinkedathim.“Apervertedmanneedsanequallypervertedwoman.”

Hepressedapalmtooneofherbreasts.“I’msogratefulyou’rewithmenow.Wegettomakeupfor

allthatlosttime.”

Shelethimremoveherblouse.“Igetincrediblyturnedonwheneveryoutellmehowmuchyou

missedme,”shewhispered.“MayIshowyouhowmuchImissedyou?”

“Iguessso,”Jackmurmured.

She’dalreadydistractedhim.Good.Carolineunbuttonedhisshirt,pullingitoffandremovinghis

undershirt.Shekissedherwaydownhisstomachtohislowerabdomen.“Gositonthatchair.”

“What?”

“Youheardme.”Shesmiledcoylyathim.“Youcanleaveyourpantson.I’mquiteindustrious.”

Jackstumbledovertothedeskchair.“Seeingyouoffyourgameiskindoffunny,”shesaid,straddling

hislap.

“ThisisnothowIimaginedthisplayingout.Ithought-”

“Youthoughtcorrectly,”Carolinesaid.“We’regoingtocoverthegroundrules.”Didn’thurtto

correlatethisgamewiththeonethey’dplayedacoupleofnightsbefore.“First,you’renotgoingtohold

back.Understand?”

Jackclosedhiseyes.“Yes,ma’am.”

“Oh,that’sanicetouch,Monty.Ilikethat.”

“Iwasbeinggentlemanly.”

“Whatever.Second,IgettofinishyouanywayIwant.Isthatokay?”sheasked,pressingherhand

againstthegrowingbulgeinhispants.

“Yes.”

Carolinekissedherwaytohisear.“I’mgoingtogivethistoyou.Youcantakeitanywayyouwant

andnotfeelguiltyaboutit.Isthatclear?”Shepulledbacktolookathim.“Iloveyou,Jack.Iwoulddo

anythingforyou,butrightnowIreallywanttodothis.”

Sheslidoffhislapandontothefloor,kneelingbetweenhislegs.Jackstrokedherhairandshe

lookedupathim.

“Iloveyou,baby,”hesaid.

“Iknow.”Carolineunzippedhimslowly,foremphasis.Shepulledhiscockoutofhisboxersand

tookhiminhermouth.

Hegroaned,louderthanshehadanticipated.Itdidn’ttakelongforhimtoadjust,andsoonhishands

werefistingherhair,slowlypressinghertowardhim.Shetookhimdeeper,gettingintoarhythm.She’d

pullbackslightlybeforepushingforwardagain,untilhewasalmostentirelyinhermouth.

“Jesus,Caroline,”hegrowled.“Keepgoing.”

Jackunconsciouslytuggedatherhair,andsheclosedhereyes.She’dmaybetakenhimthisfaronce

ortwice,buthe’dalwaysstoppedherbeforehegottoodeep.Ifshewasgoingtofinishthisshehadto

paceherself.Shepulledback,catchingherbreathasherhusbanduntangledhisfingersfromherhair,heat

inhiseyes.

“Youlookedincrediblejustnow,”hesaid.

Carolinelickedherlips,strokinghislength.Silkysmoothandhardasarock.Hiscockwasbeautiful.

“Youwantmetokeepgoing?”

Jackthrustintoherhand.“Please,baby.”

Shewatchedhimmove.Hekeptasteadytempoasshetightenedhergrip.DearGod,hewassexy.

“Doit,”shewhispered.“Dothattomythroat.”

Hecaressedherhair,trailedhisfingersuntiltheyreachedhercheek.Pressedhisthumbtoherlips.

Hiseyeshooded.Hisbreathshallow.Hestoodup.“Iwantyoulikethis.Stayonyourknees,facingme.”

Carolinestraightenedupandplacedherlipsonhiscock.Hishandswereatthebackofherhead

again,fistingherhair.Hepressedintohermouthandshedidn’tstophim.

“Fuck,”hesaid.“Takeit,baby.Takeallofit.”Hecontinuedtopushdeeper,gentlybutwithpurpose.

Carolinegrabbedontohispants,movingherhandsaroundtohisasstoencouragehimfurther.Hereyes

werewateringandshewantedtochokebutthelookonhisfacekepthergoing.

Jackmovedslowly,deliberately,cursingandgrunting.Hewastryingtomakeitlastandfailing

miserably.

“Iloveyou,Caroline,”hegroaned,anddroveintohermouthafinaltime,spurtingdownherthroat

beforecollapsingontothechair.

Jackrubbedhiseyes.“Thatwasunbelievable.”Hezippedhispantsandpattedhislap.“Getuphere

now.”

Carolinescrambledup,hugginghimtightly.“Thatwasnice,”shesaid.

Hechuckled.“Youremainthequeenofunderstatement.”

“MyGod,thewayyoureacted.Ican’tevendescribeit.”

Jackkissedherdeeply.“Ican.Mightbemostlygruntsandboorishnoises,butIcanarticulateitfor

you.”

“Ibetyoucan.”

Hetracedhisfingeracrossherlips.“I’mnotsureI’mtheoneincontrolinthisweirdsexualdynamic

wehavegoing.”

“I’mnotsureIam,either.Acoupleofsuckers,weare.Depraved,degeneratesuckers.”

“Yougonnaletmereciprocatelater?”heasked.

“Maybe.Yougonnafuckmesillyafterwards?”

Jackpickedherupandheadedtowardthebed.“We’lldefinitelygetthere.”

ChapterNine

“Areyouokayflyingcommercial?”Carolineasked.

Schroedercheckedhisticketagainbeforeshovingitintohisbag.“I’llsurvive,ma’am.I’mmore

concernedthatyou’reinthemainterminalinsteadofwiththecharters.”

Alwayswiththeexposure.Shedidn’tneedanyremindersthatshewasnevertoofarfromharm.“We

wantedtoseeyouoffproperly.”

SchroedercockedhisheadatherbeforebrieflyglancingatJack.Maybethattwentyminuteclosed

doormeetinghadn’tgonequitethewayCarolineenvisionedit.

“Okay,Iwantedtoseeyouoffproperly,”shesaid.Onawhim,shesteppedforwardandembraced

him.“Thankyou.”

Hepulledback,beetred.“You’rewelcome.”

Jackextendedhishand,somewhatreluctantly.“We’llbeintouchoncewemeetwiththePrime

Minister.”

“Understood,sir.”Schroedermotionedtowardthegate.“Ishouldgetgoing,asshouldyou.Safe

travels.”

CarolinegavehimalittlewaveassheandJackwalkedaway.“Ilikehim,”shesaid.

“Youappeartohavewonhimoveraswell.Isthereanyonewhodoesn’tlikeyou?”

TheentireSantosAdministration.Sheloopedherarmthroughhis.“It’smygreatestskill.”

“Asidefromkickingmenin…certainplaces?”

“Indeed.”

“Weshouldgetoutofhere,”Jacksaidquietly.“Nosecurity.”

“It’sashortwalktotheotherterminal.”

“Doesn’tmatter.”

They’dhavethosewhimsicalmomentswhenthey’dalmostfeelrelaxedbeforeoneorbothofthem

wouldsinkbackintoreality.She’dstiffen,orhe’dtightenhisarmaroundherwaist.They’dpickupon

eachother’ssignals.Wouldthatfeelingofdreadanduncertaintyeverfullygoaway?Shesqueezedhis

armalittletighter,laughingwhenhedraggedherintoacornerandkissedherdeeply.Maybehewasn’tas

anxiousasshe’dthought.

Shepulledback,breathless.“Whatwasthatfor?”

“Areyoucomplaining,Diana?”

Thenamewasclueenough.Sherememberedthegame.“No,thatwasverynice,dear.Whatwasthat

for?”

Jackcradledherheadinhishands,verycarefullypositioningthemfurtherdownthehallway.“Didn’t

youseehim?ThatwasDouglasLangladeontheconcourse.”

Theformerminorityleader?Theoneshe’dbuttedheadswithonadailybasiswhileinCongress?

She’dbeentryingnottomakeeyecontactwithanyone.Focusingstraightahead.Watchingthesunlight

throughthewindows.Countinghersteps.Carolinesteppedawayfromhim,stupidlytryingtocatcha

glanceofthepeoplewalkingby.“What?”

Heyankedherback.“No,don’tdothat.Hemightrecognizeus.”

Shefrowned.“Iassumedhewasdead.”

“AsdidI.Andwehavenoinklingwhathisallegiancesare.Hemightbeaspy.”

Hell,she’dneverfiguredoutifhewasfriendorfoewhileshewasintheHouse.Anynumberof

incentivescouldhaveseriouslyalteredhisloyalties.“Whatdowedo?”shewhispered.

“We’regoingtolaylowforawhile.”

“Butwehavetogettotheterminal.”

“Thatcanwaitafewmoreminutes.”

Shebattedhereyelashes.“Whateverwillwedotopassthetime?”

Jackpushedherupagainstthewall.“We’regoingtobethatmadlyinlovecouplewetalkedabout.

Theoldermarriedfolkswhocan’tkeeptheirhandsoffeachother.”

“Ithoughtweagreedtobetheindifferentcoupleonasomewhatmagicalgetaway,”shesaid.

“That’swhatyousaid,”hemurmured.“I’mallforsecondhoneymoon.”

Itwasn’tdifficulttoactthepart,knowingtheirdestinationandthereasonforit.“Makingoutina

hallwayisn’texactlythebestwaytolaylow.”

Jackkissedher.“Youtalktoomuch.”

Shewasquitewillingtolethimshutherup.Theycouldspendafewminuteslockinglips.Canada

wasonlyaflightaway.

Jonespointedoutthewindow.“Afraidyourluggageain’tgonnagetthere?”

Shemighthavebeenobsessivelytrackingthecrew’severymoveastheyreadiedtheplanebefore

boarding.“Ihaveallthoseprettysuitsnow,youknow.”

Heputhisarmaroundher.“Youtakeoneofyourmoodpillsalready?”

Carolinerestedherheadagainsthischin,justforaminute.Jackwouldn’tmind.“Hasn’tkickedin

yet.”

“You’llbefine.”

“Iknow.”Shegavehimalittlehug.“Wehaven’ttalkedinforever.HowwasyourtimeinThe

Hague?”

“Could’vebeenworse.Youdidallthehardstuff.IjusttoldthemwhatlittleIknew.”

Whichwasalot,asfarasshecouldtell.“You’veseensomeshit,bothinandoutofTheFed.”

“Can’tdomuchtochangethat.Justgottakeepmovingforward.”

Suchwisewords.“You’remyfavoritefortunecookie,”shesaid.

“DoesthatmeanI’mtheScarecrow?”

“Nah.”Shepunchedhimintheribs.“You’restilltheCowardlyLion.”

“You’remean,”hesaid.“I’msittingasfarawayfromyouaspossible.”

“Youshouldn’tdothat.Youwon’tseememuchonceweland.”

TheCanadiangovernmentwantedtokeeptheirarrivalasinconspicuousaspossible.Jones,Gig,and

CrunchwerestayingindowntownOttawa,bunkingupwithafewMountieswhoprovidedprotectionto

thePrimeMinister.Shedidn’tknowwheresheandJackwerestaying,butitwouldbeairtightandsecure

ashell.

“I’mstuckwithCrunchandGig,”Jonessaid.“Niceplanning.Hell,can’tyoutakeonebodyguardto

whereveritisyou’regoing?”

“Notachance,”Jacksaid,sidlinginbetweenthem.“YoudeserveabreakandtheMountiesneedto

earntheirpay.”HekissedCarolineonthecheek.“It’salmosttimetoboard.Youokay?”

Maybesheshouldhavemadeanannouncementthatshe’dtakenherdrugs,theywerekickingin,and

she’dbefine.Butshemerelyshruggedandleanedinforatotallygratuitoushug.“I’mgood.”

Herockedherbackandforth,hiseyestowardthewindow.“ThenIbelievewehaveaplaneto

catch.”

ChapterTen

“I’mnervous,”Carolinesaid.

“Justbeyourself,”Nicksaid.“Folkswillloveyou.”

“Votersloveme.Otherpoliticiansfindmenaïveandsuspiciouslypleasant.”

“No,theydon’t.Imetwiththeotherfreshmanspousesearliertoday.”Hegrinnedather.“The

ladiesseemedtolikemewellenough.”

Ofcoursetheyhad.“Didyouflirt?”

“Justabit.Areyoujealous?”

“Notatall.Ididn’tgetthatJudiciaryassignmentbybeingawallflower.”

Herhusbandtookherhand.“Charmgetsyouplaces.Let’sgoinside.”

They’dbeenflittingfromeventtoeventforthepastfewdays,commutingtoD.C.together.Mostof

thenewlyelectedrepresentativesandtheirspouseswereholingupinhotelsbutsheandNickyhad

spenteachnightintheirownbed.AlltheHousefreshmenseemedtobequitefriendly,althoughlooks

couldbedeceiving.Carolinehaddoneherresearch.Afewofthemeninparticularweretoo

conservativeforhertaste.SomeoftheDemocratsweretooliberal.Shehopedshe’dfindherown

niche,evenifthatentailedsearchingoutsidethebox.

“Wewon’tstaylong,”shesaid.

“Don’tcare.Istherebooze?”

“Atamixer?Ihopeso.”

Nickchortled.“Someofthoseantiquatedtermsareadorable.”

Shecouldpracticehercharmbeforetheymadetheirappearance.“Likeme?”

Hekissedherlightlyonthelips.“You’rethemostadorablememberofCongressever.”

Theroomwascrowded.Ugh.Carolinedidn’tmindpeoplebutshedidn’tliketightspaces.She

didn’tlikeclosetalkerseither,andsomemalefreshmenfloatedalittletoonearherdiscomfortzone.

Butthatwashowitworked.Menmadetheirpresenceknown.Womentriedtofadeintothewoodwork.

Carolinewasdeterminednottofallintothesametrap.SherepresentedasafeDemocraticdistrictbut

hadnoideawhatthefuturemightbring.Shecouldbeaone-termwonder,couldgetbouncedoutbya

moreprogressiveorbetter-fundedcandidate.Shewasanupstartandanunknownwhichmeantshewas

vulnerable.Ifsheonlyhadtwoyearstoaccomplishsomethingofmerit,shewasgoingtogetstartedas

soonaspossible.

“Ineedadrinkforthis,”shesaid.

Nickgesturedtowardthebar.“Moscatooramaretto?”

“Whatever’seasier.”Shescannedthecrowd,searchingforfamiliarfaces.Afewfolkswavedat

herbutshewasdrawntoawell-builtmaninthecorner,hisfingerswrappedaroundabottleof

Berghoff.Thegoldpinonhislapeldancedagainstthelighting.Shemarchedovertohim.Thiscould

definitelybeherscene.

“MonogramClub,”shesaid,pointingathisjacket.

Hetippedhisbeerather.“Veryimpressive.Youspottedthatfromacrosstheroom?”

“IwenttolawschoolatNotreDame.”

“ANotreDamelawyer.DoubleDomer?”

StandardslangfortwoormoreNDdegrees.“Nope.Marquetteundergrad.”

Henodded.Didthatmeanheapproved?Themanswitchedhisbeertohislefthand,extendinghis

right.“Jesuitsarebetterthannothing.ThomasSullivan.”

Carolineshookit.“CarolineGerard.”MonogramClubmeantvarsityathlete.Sturdyframemeant

contactsport.Andhisnamewasfamiliar,whichmeant…“Youplayedfootball.”

“Idid.Goodguess.”

“IwatchedyouplaywhenIwasyounger.”

“Muchyounger,I’dassume.”

Shedidthemath.“Gradeschool,maybe?”

“Soundsaboutright.”

“Youwerereallygood.Whydidn’tyougopro?”

“Messedupmykneeduringthecombine.Didn’tseemworththehassle.Torturedmyselfbygoing

tomedicalschoolinstead.”

“So,it’sDr.Sullivan?”

“Onlyifyou’reapretentiousasshole.It’sTom.”

CarolinewavedatNickyfromacrosstheroom.“That’smyhusband.Ifyouaskhimnicelyhemight

grabyouanotherbeer.”

Tompressedthebottletohislips.“I’mgood.”HepointedatNickwhenhearrived.“Berghoff.

Finetaste,youngman.”

Carolinetooktheamarettosourshewasoffered.“Nicky,thisisTomSullivan.Playedfootballat

NotreDame.Tom,thisismyhusband,Nicholas.”

Nickshookhishand.“CallmeNick.She’sprobablybeentalkingyourearoff.SorryIcouldn’tget

heresooner.”

“Nickylikesbeer,”Carolinesaid.“EspeciallyopenbarHousefreshmanmixerfreebeer.”

Tomtippedhisbottleagain.Itwasalmostempty.“Oddlyenough,sodoI.”

“Helikeshuntingtoo.Didn’tyougrowupinOhio?”

Nicklaughed.“Caroline,don’tscaretheman.”

Tompattedhershoulder.“It’sfine.Notcreepyatall.”

“Idon’t,like,stalkpeopleoranything.Ijustrememberweirdstuff.”

Hesmiled.“Itoldyou.Notabigdeal.Yes,IamoriginallyfromOhioandNick,incaseyouwere

wondering,Ialsoenjoyshootingthingsandeatingthemlater.”

“Anddrinkingbeerwithsaidconsumptionofanimals?”Nickasked.

“Indeed.”

NicknudgedCaroline.“Ilikethisguy.Tom,youwantanotherbeer?”

Tomhandedhimhisemptybottle.“Whynot?Surpriseme.”

“Youcangetmeanotherdrink,”Carolinesaid.“I’llknockitback.”

“Careful,”Nicksaid.“Youmayhavetodrive.”

Notlikely.Shewasacheapdate,alreadyfeelingthebuzz.“Gimmemybooze.”

Heturnedtowardthebar,walkingpastablondwomanwithasourexpressiononherface.

“Christine,”Tomsaid.“Iwonderedwhereyou’dgottenoffto.”

“Iwasspeakingwithafewnewcolleagues,”shesaidcrisply.SheturnedtoCaroline.“Whomight

yoube?”

IttookCarolineaminutetorememberherownname.Brusquenessalwaysthrewheroff.

“CarolineGerard,”shesaid.“Maryland.WelivejustuptheroadinRockville.Idon’tremember

seeingyouatanyotherevents.”

“Mywifelikestohide,”Tomsaid.

“Idonot.I’vemerelybeenkeepingtomyself.”

“She’sshy,”heinsisted.

Thatwasn’tthewordCarolinewouldhaveused.“Well,it’snicetomeetyou.”

Thescowlthatgreetedherindicatedthefeelingwasn’tmutual.“You’reaDemocrat,Iassume?”

Christineasked.

“Trueblue.Notthatthepartyapprovesofme.Ibeatalongtimeincumbentintheprimary.”

“Shit,”Tomsaid.“ShedefeatedGoyer.Hewasinthatseatforwhat…twentyyears?”

Carolineknewshe’dbeenluckyashelltowin.“Twenty-four.”

Christinegaveheranappraisinglook.“Impressive.”

Carolineglancedaroundtheroom,lookingforNicky.ShesawChristineloopherarmthrough

Tom’soutofthecornerofhereye.Damn.Didthatwomanthinkshe’dbeentryingtopickupher

husband?DidshenotseetheringonCaroline’sfinger?Shedidnotwanttodealwiththatkindof

bullshit.Shewasfriendswithmen.Goodfriendswithmen.Andneveroncedidshethinkaboutfucking

them.Okay,maybeonceinawhile,butthatwasatotallynormalheterosexualfemaleresponse.Right?

Nickmarchedupbehindher,tappingherontheshoulder.“Anothersour,mydear.”

Carolinetookasip.“Whiskey?Really?”

“Yousaidtosurpriseyou.”

“Tomsaidtosurprisehim.”

Nickhandedsomeobscuremicrobrewtotheotherman.“Oh,right.”

Herhusbandcouldsmooththebumpsintheroad.Healwaysdid.“Nicky,thisisChristine

Sullivan,”shesaid.“From–uh,IguessIneveraskedwhereyouwerefrom.”

Christineglancedathernails.Weretheyboringher?“BrynMawr.OutsidePhiladelphia.”

Nickcockedhisfingerlikeagun.“GottabeRepublicans.”

Tomlaughed.“Obviously.”

“Idon’tknow,”Nicksaid,hisvoicesober.“AreweallowedtobefriendswithRepublicans,

Caroline?”

Theyneededtotaketheirshowontheroad.“Ofcourse.Christine,didyougotoNotreDame

too?”

“Caroline’sabitobsessedwiththeIrish,”Tomsaid.“Claimsshe’salawyer.”

“Ididnot,”Christinesaid.“IwenttotheUniversityofMichigan.”

BeingalawyerandNotreDamegradwasclearlynotenoughtogetonChristine’sgoodside.

“Oh,”Carolinesaid.“Thatmusthavemadeforanawkwardfirstdate.”

“Wewereinmedicalschool,”Christinesaid.“ItoldhimthecadavershadmorelifethantheIrish

offense.”

Coldandaloofwithahintofsardonichumor.Carolinecoulddigthat.BasedonNick’sstiffening

posture,hedidnot.Hetookanothersipofhisbeer.“Youwanttominglesomemore?”heasked.

Carolinetappedherfingeragainsthercheek.“I’llstayhereforabit.Youwanttoworkthe

crowd?”

Nicksureashellwouldn’twanttoschmoozepoliticosalone.Hehatedthatshit.“No.”Heturned

toTom.“TellmemoreabouthuntinginOhio.”

Herhusbandletoutalowwhistleoncetheyreachedtheircar.

“What?”Carolineasked.

“Shewasstonecold,wasn’tshe?”

Carolinedecidedtoplaydumb.PoorNicky.He’dsloggedthroughtwentyminutesofsmalltalk

whileshenursedherdrink.Onpurpose.WhiletryingtopullanswersoutofChristine.“Who?”

“ThatSullivanwoman.Herhusbandwascool,though.”

“Ilikedher.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah.”

“Didn’tyouseethewayshewasglaringatyou?”

“Sheonlydidthatforaminute.Ithinkshe’skindofpossessiveofherhusband.”

“Whydidn’tyouglarebackather?”Nickasked.“You’vegotprimemanmeatrighthere.She

mighthavetriedtostealmeaway.”

“Shebarelyspoketoyou.Maybeifyou’dtalkedaboutsomethingotherthanbeerandBambi.”

“Maybeshewouldhavelikedyoumoreifyou’dtalkedaboutsomethingotherthanfootball.”

“Itriedtoengageher,”Carolinesaid.“WhileyouandTomweretalkingmicrobrewsorsome

crap.”

“Yeah,speakingofTom,couldyouhavemadeyoursportscrushalittlelessobvious?You’regoing

tolookuphisstatsassoonasyougethome,aren’tyou?”

Shecouldmesswithherhusband.Theywereusuallybothinonthejoke.“IwasgoingtoGoogle

himinthecar.”

“Jeez,”Nicksaid.“Ithoughtyouweregoingtoaskhimtoflexforyou.Gottastopmakingitso

obvious,hon.”

“Nicky,hewasagreatplayeratNotreDame.IthinkhewastouchedIrememberedhim.Andhe’sa

reallyniceguy.”

“That’stheonlyreasonI’mlettingyougetawaywithyourfawning.OtherwiseI’dbeconcerned.”

“Wasitthatobvious?”IfNickhadnoticed,maybeChristinewasaspossessiveassheassumed.

SometimesCarolineforgotthatherdefaultcharmingandinquisitivebehaviorcouldbeviewedas

intrusive.

“Yeah,butIknowitwaspurelybasedonhisstatusasaformerNotreDameathlete,notbecause

you’regoingtorunawaywithhim.”

“Hardly,”Carolinesaid.“Youwereright.Christinewasshootingmeadeathstarewhilewewere

talking,wasn’tshe?”

“Shewas,”hesaid.“Ithinkweknowwhothepeoplepersonisinthatcouple.”

Thatwastoosimplisticananalysis.RepresentativeSullivanhadbeenelectedforareason.There

hadtobesomethingthere.Carolineheardtheclickofthelockandslidintothepassengerseat.“I’m

goingtoaskhertolunch.”

“Really,Caroline.You’vemetalltheseoutgoing,charmingpeopleandyou’regoingtomakeyour

connectionswiththatwoman?”

Again,overlysimplistic.Shewantedtomakehermarkbutwasn’tabouttosacrificeheridentity.

“Nicky,it’snotaboutconnections.I’mnotheretoplaygames.Iwanttobefriendswithher.”

“Whatisthis,gradeschool?Peopledon’tgotoCongresstomakefriends.They’remorelikelyto

losethem.Andshe’saRepublican.Youdon’tagreeonanything.”

Basedonthedisdainfullooksandthedisapprovingtone?Probably.“Doesn’tmattertome.Ilike

her.Ican’texplainit.”

Nickpursedhislipsashepulledoutoftheparkinggarage.“Whatever.Hangoutwiththatsenator

wemetfromCalifornia.Ellenwhat’sherface.”

PoorNicky.Hedidn’twanthertogethurt.Hehadn’tenjoyedthenastinessofthecampaignand

knewitwouldonlygetworse.Butshecouldhandleit.“Ellen’stoomuchlikeme.Idon’tneedmore

peoplelikeme.Iwanttobechallenged.”

Nickpulleduptoastoplight.“Youareanoddducksometimes.”

Carolineleanedovertokisshim.“That’swhyyouloveme.”

“Justbecareful.Youdon’tknowwhoyoucantrustinthatplace.”

“IthinkIcantrusther.”Shesqueezedhishand.“Thanksforcomingtonight.”

“Anythingforyou,”hesaid.“Andifyouhavetomakenicewithher,atleastmakeherhusband

tagalongtoo.Tellhimtobringbeer.”

Thebeginningoflunchcouldnothavebeenmoreawkward.CarolineandChristineplacedtheir

orders,sayingverylittletoeachother,thetensionpalpable.Thewaitertooktheirmenusandreturned

withtheirdrinks.FinallyChristinespoke.

“Yourchiefofstaffmadeitsoundlikethiswasagroupthing.”

Thetruthwasboundtocomeoutsometime.“Shelied.”

Christinecarefullyplacedhernapkinonherlap.“That’swhyshecalledinsteadofyou?”

“Yes,”Carolinesaid.“Iamaterribleliar.”

“Shedidyourdirtywork.”

“That’swhatstaffersarefor.”

Christinefoldedherhands.“Haveyoubeenherebefore?”

Herlunchcompanionwantedtomoveontosimple,blandtopics.Hopefullyshedidn’tthink

Carolinewascompletelyunethical.“Jenrecommendedit,”shesaid.“Idon’tknowmywayaroundthe

cityjustyet.”

“Don’tyourepresenttheMarylandsuburbs?”

Christinehadbeenlisteningduringthemixer,despitehereffortstopretendotherwise.“Iseeyou

werepayingattention,”Carolinesaid.

“IwantedtoknowwhatIwasgettinginto.”

Theicequeenwasmelting.Hertonewasalittletoodefensive.“IneverworkedinDCbefore

now,”Carolinesaid.“Nickyworksclosetoourhouse,butoccasionallyhastogotoBaltimoreor

northernVirginiaformeetingsandsuch.Hehatesthetrafficaroundhere.SodoI.”

“Youdriveineveryday?”

IfChristinereallywantedtoknowaboutthecommute,they’dbethereallafternoon.“Imightstart

takingthetrain.Maybe.Makesithardertobeflexible.Whataboutyou?”

“IhaveanapartmentneartheCapitol.Andadriver.”

BrynMawr.Twodoctors.Madesense.“Oh.That’snice.”

“It’snotunusual.”

Hadshesoundedjealous?“Iwasn’tcriticizing,”Carolinesaidquickly.“Itwasabenign

observation.”

“Isee.”

MaybeChristinedidn’tliketalkingaboutmoneyeither.“How’sTom?Nickyreallylikedhim.He’s

convincedthey’relike,beersoulmatesorsomething.”

“Icouldtell.Allthattalkofmicrobrewsandfootball.”Christineshookherhead.“Men.I’m

surprisedtheydidn’tstarthighfivinginthemiddleoftheroom.”

Carolinegrinned.“Ilovesports.Doyoufollowanyteams?”

“IwenttoMichiganforundergrad.”

Shemusthaveforgottenthatshe’dmentionedheralmamaterduringthemixer.Carolinedecided

tohavealittlefun.“I’msoverysorry.”

“Excuseme?”

“NotreDame.Michigan.Youknow.Rivalryandall.YouvoluntarilymarriedaNotreDameman?”

Christineshifteduncomfortably.“Yes.”

“AreyoubigontheWolverines?”

“Mostlyfootball.Alittlehockey.Idon’tmuchcareforsports.”

Didthiswomanlikeanything?“NoTigersorRedWings?PhilliesorFlyers?”

Christinemadeaface.“No.Absolutelynot.”

“Doyouthrowlikeagirl?”

Christinelookedatherasifshewereverystrange.“Iplaytennis.That’saboutit.”

Aconnectionatlast.“SodoI.Iplayedinhighschool.Doyouhavearacquethere?”

“No.”

“Youcanborrowoneofmine.Wehavecourtsinourneighborhoodifyou’dliketorallyor

something.”

Christinestirredherstrawinherteaglass.“Yes,becausemembersofCongresshavesomuchfree

time.”

Ooh,ajoke.Shemadeajoke.“Igetthefeelingtheydon’tdomucharoundhere,”Carolinesaid.

“Thismayactuallybelessstressfulthanmyoldjob.”

“Whichwas?”

“Federalprosecutor.”

“Oh.”Christinegazedatherthoughtfully.“Wouldhaveassumedpublicdefender.”

“Myheartdoesn’tbleedthatmuch.”

“Isee.”

“Iliketobeunpredictable.”

“Likehavingyouraidesmisleadyourcolleagues?”

Sheseemedreallyhunguponthat.Why?Carolinedecidedtoswitchgears.“Areyoufrom

Michiganoriginally?”

Christineeyedherwarily.“IgrewupinFlint.”

RepresentativeSullivanhadtobeabouttenyearsolderthanCaroline,whichputheradolescence

andearlyadulthoodsmackinthemiddleofthedeindustrializationoftheAmericanautomotive

industry.“Oh.Thatmusthavebeen…hard.”

“Itwas.”Hertonemadeitclearthatwasallshewasvolunteering.

“AndyoumetTominmedicalschool?”

“Yes.AtPenn.”

AnelitepubliclandgrantuniversitycoupledwithanIvyLeaguegraduateprogram.Christine

Sullivanmayhavebeenaloof,perhapsevenstandoffish,butshewasnotunintelligent.“Whatkindof

medicinedidyoupracticewhenyouwerearealperson?”Carolineasked.

“Realperson?”

Christinefoundherterminologypeculiar.FarfromthefirsttimeCarolinehadreceivedthat

response.“Idon’tthinkCongresshasverymanyrealpeople,doyou?”

“Probablynot.”

“Areyougoingtoanswerallmyquestionssotersely?”

Christineactuallysmiled.Veryslightly.“Maybe.”

Carolinewasn’tgoingtogetanywherewiththischickifshecouldn’tgethertorelax.“Youknow,

youmightenjoyyourselfmoreifyoulightenedupalittle.”

NowChristinelookedoffended.“Whatdoyoumean?”

“You’rereallyreserved.Youshouldbeenjoyingthis.You’vegotthisgreatopportunityin

Washingtonandyoushouldmakethemostofit.”

“IsthatatactfulwayoftellingmethatI’mabitch?”

Yes.“Idon’tknow,”Carolinesaid.“Areyou?”

“Whatdoyouthink?”

“Youdon’tanswerquestionsandyou’reprettyreservedsoIwouldsaymostpeoplewouldthink

youare.”

“Whatdoyouthink?”

“Ilikeyou.Evenifyouhaveshittytasteinschools.”

Christinestaredatherteaagain,andCarolinewasn’tsurewhatelsetosay.

“Iwasinfamilymedicine,”Christinefinallysaid.“Nothingtooglamorous.”

“Butit’snecessary.Hardlyanyonegoesforthatanymore.Notenoughmoney.”

“Thomasisasurgeon.Tookalittlefinancialpressureoff.”

“IfIaskyouformedicaladvice,willyougiveittome?”

“No.”

Basedonherclippedtone,shemusthavegottenthatquestionalot.“Oh.Okay.”

“Areyougoingtoconductthisentirelunchlikeit’sajobinterview?”Christineasked.

“Seemstobeworkingsofar.”

“Ihaven’tbeenabletoaskyouanything.”

“Youhadn’tsaidmorethantwowordsuntilafewminutesago.”Carolinesmiledagain.“Youcan

askmewhateveryouwant.I’mnotallthatremarkable.”

“Youtalkalot.”

“You’renotthefirstpersontotellmethat.”

“I’mwillingtobetyouhavealottosayaboutyourself,giventheopportunity.”

CarolineGerardwasn’tthequiettype,no.“Okay,then.Askaway.”

“Whydidyouaskmetolunch?”

Damn.Shedidn’twasteanytime.“Oh,wow.Thatwasblunt.”

“Idon’tmincewords,”Christinesaid.

Indeedshedidn’t.“Technically,Ididn’taskyoutolunch.Jendid.”

Christinerolledhereyes.“Lawyers.YouknowwhatImean.”

“Youdon’ttrustmanypeople,doyou?”

Herlipsturnedupslightly.“You’reprettydirectyourself.”

“Iamaconsummatediplomatwhobelievesincompletehonesty.”

“Areyouanaturallytrustingperson?”

Trusting.Naïve.Altogetherharmless,inhernotsohumbleopinion.“Yes,”Carolinesaid.

“Sometimestoomuch.Madebeingaprosecutortough.Igotburnedmorethanafewtimes.”

“Itdidn’tchangeyou?”

“Ivowedthatifitdid,itwastimeformetostepaway.”

“You’dbetternotbesoopenhere,”Christinesaid.“Youmightgetburnedalittleworseon

CapitolHillthanyoudidinfederalcourt.”

She’dfiguredthatmuchoutalready.“Idoubtit’llbeenoughtomakemechange.”

“Whynot?”

Carolinecockedherheadinnocently.“Ijustdon’tknowanybetter.”

Christineactuallyletoutasmalllaugh.“Youareaveryinterestingperson.”

HerleastfavoritewordintheEnglishlanguage.“Peoplecallthingsinterestingwhentheydon’t

knowwhattomakeofthem.”

“AndIdon’tknowwhattomakeofyou.Comeon.Tellmewhyyouaskedmetolunch.”

Thetruthseemedeasyenough.“Ithoughtyouseemednice.”

Christine,whohadbeentakingasipofherdrink,choked.“Tryagain.”

“I’mnotlying.”

“Noonedescribesmeasnice.”

Thatseemedimprobable.“Notevenyourhusband?”

Christinesmirked.“Especiallynotmyhusband.”

“NowIthinkyou’rebeingfacetious.”

“Maybe.”

PerhapsChristinethoughttheinvitewasn’tlegitimate.Perhapsshehadahardtimegettingto

knowpeople.Carolinewouldhavetoworkwithher,butknewitwouldbeworthit.“You’reareal

person.You’renottryingtofoolanyone.You’rebeingauthenticallyyou.”Shepaused.“Ihopeyou

don’tfindanyofthatinsulting.Ididn’tmeanitthatway.”

“Nooffensetaken.”

“Also,youhavereallyniceshoes.I’mjealous.”

“Doyoualwayspsychoanalyzepeopleandtheirfootwearwhenyoufirstmeetthem?”

Whentheirheelsweresoimpressive?“Yes,butInormallydon’tsayitoutloud.”

“Whyareyouverbalizingyourtheorieswithme?”

“Iknowyoucanhandleit.”

Christinetoyedwiththestrawinherdrink.“Icandiguparacquetsomewhere.Maybewecan

playwhenwe’renotbuttingheadsoverlegislation.AndI’malwaysupforshoeshopping.”

Carolinewinkedatherasthewaitercameoverwiththeirfood.“Thatsoundsgreat.”

ChapterEleven

Jackkissedherforehead.“Sleptyourwaythroughanotherflight.”

Carolinesnugglednexttohim.“Betterthanhavingtoworryaboutmakingsmalltalkwithyou.”

“Alotlessnerverackingtoo.Mustbenicetopasstenhourswithoutapeep.”

Haditbeenthatlong?Shestillhadsomeprettyseveresleepdeprivation,ifthatwasthecase.“Are

weontime?”

“SofarasIcantell.TheMountieswillescortustoParliamentHillonceweland.”

“PrimeMinisterSavoiewasalwaysareasonableman.Iassumethemeetingwillbecordial.”

“Ihopeso.”Jackstiffenedeversoslightly.“We’regoinginblindsinceSchroederdidn’tgivethem

ournames.”

Bettersafethansorry,shesupposed.“Areyounervous?”shewhispered.

“I’veneverbeenthisanxiousinmyentirelife.Butit’llbeokay,Caroline.We’resoclose.”Atiny

peckonthecheekturnedintoalongembrace.“Youtrustedyourinstincts,”hesaidsoftly.“Youthought

you’dlostthatpartofyou,butyoudidn’t.Don’tforgetthat.”

Shedidn’twanttotellhimthathalfofthatinstinctwasasincerewishtododgetheinevitable.If

she’dgivenupcompletelyshewouldhavehadtofullygrieve,andthatwassomethingshewouldnever,

everbepreparedtodo.“Iwon’t.”

Hesqueezedherhandastheplanelurched.“We’llbetheresoon.Keepyourwitsaboutyouandyour

emotionsincheck.”

Jackwaslecturinghimselfmorethanher.Shepattedthefirearminherknapsack.“Understood.”

Itdidn’tmatterthatCanadawasasympathetically.AfterspottingLangladeinAmsterdam,Jackwas

takingnochances.Hewantedthemarmedandready,whichwasallwellandgooduntiltheyarrivedat

LangevinBlockandthegovernmentbuildingthathousedthePrimeMinister’soffice.Theyhadtoleave

theirgunswithoneoftheMountiesintheProtectivePolicingService.Madesense.Carolinefiguredthey

wereinoneofthemostsecurelocationsinOttawa.

“Hedoesn’tknowwe’reus,”Jackremindedher.

“Betherecognizesyou,though.”

“Doesn’tmatter,”hesaid.“We’llgettothepointrightaway.”

“Iwanttoknowaboutthegirlsfirst.”

“Thatwasmyintent.It’sokay,sweetheart.We’regoingtogetthetruth.”

Sheremainedworriedthearticlewasadeception.Aplant.Somuchforoptimism.Fearcouldmakea

persondocrazythings,thinkirrationalthoughts.Howironictoarriveatamomentalmosttwoyearsinthe

makingandCarolinewasstillafraidsomeonewasgoingtoyankthefootballawaybeforeshecouldkick

it.“Shouldwefollowhisleadwhenitcomestotitles?”

“Youdon’twanttocallhim‘TheRightHonorable’?”

Herhusbandknewhowshefeltaboutformality.“I’drathercallhimDenisorMr.Savoieor…

whateverelsetheycallhim.”

“Mr.PrimeMinister?”Jackoffered.

“Youthinkwe’dknowthisbynow,beingworldlypoliticiansandall.”

“Caroline,howweaddresshimistheleastofourconcerns.Ihopehedoesn’tshockeasily.”

ThePrimeMinister’ssecuritydetailhadinterrogatedthemthoroughly,notentirelyconvincedoftheir

intentions.Explainingtheirfalsepassportshadbeenawkward,butthemenunderstood.They’dhadto

revealtheirrealnames.Itdidn’ttaketheMountieslongtowhiskJackandCarolineintoSavoie’soffice,

whereasecretaryusheredthemintoaninteriorroomwithoutfanfare.

Fewdecorations.Cherrywood.Judge’spaneling.Sparsebuttastefulfurnishings.Amodest,humble

space.Carolinehadexpectednothingless.

PrimeMinisterDenisSavoiewasapleasant,softspokenman.AlongtimememberoftheLiberal

Party,he’dbeeninofficeforalittleunderfouryears.Whenheofferedthemcandyfromadishonhis

desk,Carolinelikedhimimmediately.

“Perhapsweshouldintroduceourselvesfirst?”Jackasked.

ThePrimeMinisterstaredathimamoment.“Ihavetobehonest.MystaffgavemeyournamesandI

couldn’tquitebelieveit.Althoughyoubothlookterriblyfamiliar.”

Hemusthavebeentold.Carolinewasaccustomedtothoseconfusedexpressions,whenfolksthought

theireyesweredeceivingthem.“Isthatwhyyouoffereduscandy?”sheasked.

“Idothatwitheveryonebutapparentlyyoutakeitquiteseriously.”

“Caroline,”Jackadmonished.“Stophoardingsweets.”

Ifshethoughtonlyaboutchocolate,maybeshecouldquietthepoundinginherchest.“Canadahasthe

beststuff,”shesaid.“Andheoffered.”

“JackMcIntyre,”thePrimeMinistersaid.HestaredatCaroline.“And,itcan’t-”

“Yes,”shesaid.“Thereportsofmydeathhavebeengreatlyexaggerated.”

“Wehaverecords.I-”

Poorman.Heofferedcandy,Jackcalledherout,andthetruthhithimbeforehehadachancetosit

down.

“Mr.PrimeMinister-”Carolinestarted.

“Denis,”hecorrected.“I…don’tevenknowwhattosay.”

Jackpracticallybowed.“CommandersMcIntyreandGerard,atyourservice.”

“Jesus,”Denissaid.“Ineedadamndrink.”

Carolineslidthecandydishtowardhim.“Sugarhelps.Didn’texpectus?”

“Mystaffersdon’tgenerallypullafastoneonme,butIassumedtheyweremistakenwiththenames.

Iexpectedacoupleofoverlydedicatedmilitiameninfatigues.”

Heruniformwasinherknapsack.Jackhadn’tevenpackedhis.“Iprefersweaters,”shesaid.“Your

countryiscold.”

Jacktappedhershoulderinanefforttogethertorefocus.“Ourassistantmadearushrequestfor

visasafterheconvincedTheGlobeandMailtopullastoryacoupleofdaysago.IbelievetheUnited

Nationsexpeditedthem.”

“Ah,yes.You’vebeeninterferingwithCanadianjournalists.”Hesmiledatthem.“Nothugefansof

freespeech?”

“WewereinEuropeatthetimesotechnically,wehadnothingtodowithit,”Jacksaid.“Andwehad

goodreason.”

Hewastryingtobeblasé.Aswasshe,butJackcouldcontrolhimselfbetterthanher.Carolinepulled

thearticleoutofherjacket,handingittothePrimeMinisterwithtremblinghands.“Asmuchaswe’dlike

totalkdiplomacyandjointmilitarystrategy,wewerehopingthatyou-”Hervoicecaught.Thechocolate

inherpocketfeltlikeitweighedathousandpounds.Shecouldn’tsaythewordsoutloud.

Jacksqueezedherhand.“We’relookingforourchildren.”

Hisvoicehadbrokenonthelastword.Buthe’dgottenthroughit.Carolinesuddenlyfeltvery

childlike.“Mr.PrimeMinister-”

Denisguidedhertoachair.“Don’t.Stopworkingyourselfup.”Hereturnedthearticleandgestured

forJacktotaketheseatnexttoher.“Itismygreatpleasuretotellyouthatyourjourneyhasnotbeenfor

nothing.Yourchildrenareindeedalive.”

Whatakindman.Shedidn’tknowwhattosay,butshehadtotry.“How-”

“Holdon.”Hepickedupthephoneonhisdesk.“CouldyousendacarforSenatorSullivan?The

Americanleadershavearrived.Haveherbringherwardsifshecan.Yes.Assoonaspossible.Thank

you.”

Heusedherrealname.Herformertitle.Andhehadmentionedthegirls,evenifnotbyname.

Caroline’sremainingmistrustdisappeared.ShestartedtocryasJackputhisheadinhishands.She

sniffled,lookingoverathim.No,theyhadtokeepittogether.Parentalreliefdidn’ttrumptheirconsular

obligations.“I’msorry,”shesaid.“It’sbeenalongtwoyears.”

“You’reallowedtobehuman,”Denissaid.“I’veseenthedocuments.Heardthestories.Youarean

extraordinarilybravewoman.”

JackrecoveredwellenoughtotakeCaroline’shand.“Sheis,”hesaid.“I’mhopingCanada’sbravery

willmatchhers.”

Denisleanedforward.“Youneedhelpandwecandeliver.Butdon’tthinkaboutthatnow.Relax.

Worryaboutyourfamilyfirst.I’mcertainwe’llbeabletoprovideyouwithassistance.It’stoourmutual

benefitfortheUnitedStatestoberestoredtoaproperdemocracy.”Herefilledthecandydishbefore

handingtheremainderofthebagtoCaroline.“ShallIcatchyouuponourmilitarycapabilities?”

Sheshovedthebagintohercoatpocket.Strategicdiscussion.Awaytopassthetime.“Thatsounds

fantastic.”

SmalltalkaboutthearmedforcesprovedmoreengagingthanCarolinehadthought.Theytoldthe

PrimeMinisteraboutTheHague.Thewarrants.Theinvestigation.Theydidn’tmentionnames,though

Savoiewasquicktoreadbetweenthelines.HeknewitinvolvedSantos,possiblyhigher-upmembersof

theAmericangovernment.Buthealsoknewbetterthantoaskspecificsbeforeitwasnecessary.

“Ifanyofthesuspectsareinourjurisdiction,wewillprocessthewarrantsimmediately,”hesaid.

“TheMountiesarehappytoprovideanyservicesyouneed.You’llbeundertheirprotectionuntilyou

returntoCalifornia.”

“That’squitegenerous,”Carolinesaid.“Ourbodyguardswouldappreciateanexcusetounwinda

little.”

Aknockatthedoor.Hissecretarypeekedin,liftedonefinger.ThePrimeMinisternodded.“Senator

Sullivanjustarrived,”hesaid.“Iapologize,Idon’tthinkshebroughtyourchildren.Butthatcanbe

remediedeasilyenough.”

Herheartspedup,thetypeofreactionthatusuallyindicatedanoncomingpanicattack.Butthistime

itwassheerexcitement.Theanticipationofjoy.Theprospectofrepairingashriveledsoul.Apowerful

physicalresponsetoanemotionalonslaught.

“Whereisshe?”Carolineasked.

Denistouchedherelbowgently.“Rightthroughthere,”hesaid,indicatingasideentrytohisoffice

shehadn’tnoticedbefore.“Takeallthetimeyouneed.You’llhavecompleteprivacy.Thefourofuscan

continuethisdiscussionlater.”

Carolinestaredatthedoor.Attheworngolddoorknob,theaginglock.Ittookaskeletonkey.Hadto

beantique.Yearsandyearsold.Thewoodgrainblurred.Jacktookherhand.

“Comeon,sweetheart,”hesaid.“You’vehadtowaitlongenough.”

“Idon’tknowwhattosay.Whatifshedoesn’trecognizeme?”

“Shewill.She’snotanassholelikeme.”Hethrewopenthedoor,draggingherbehindhim.“Come

on,then.”

“That’sreallyrude,Jack,”shesaid,stumblingintotheroom.“You’resupposedtoknockfirstand

Chrissy-”Carolinegrippedhishandsecurelywithbothofhers,gazingatthelonefigureonthecouch.

“Chrissywhat?”Jackasked.

“Chrissywasalwaysasticklerforproperetiquette,”shesaidsoftly.

Christinehadbeenscrollingthroughsomethingonherphonebeforesheglancedupatthem,

surprised.Shewaswearingapertredpantsuitandblackslingbacks.Therewerecirclesunderhereyes

thatevenhermeticulousmakeupjobcouldn’thide.Sheappearedasifshehadagedfarmorethantwo

years.Butherhairwasperfectlycoiffed,herdemeanorforeverpoisedandself-possessed.Shestoodup,

hereyebrowsraised.Herphoneslidoutofherhandandontothecarpet.

“MotherofGod,”shesaid.“Jack?”Shetookastepforward,examiningthemclosely.Carolinecould

almostheartheconnectionclickinginhermindasChristineturnedtoher,mesmerized.“Whatdidyoujust

callme?”

Shemovedtowardthetwoofthem,herhandsshaking.ShekeptstaringatCaroline,neverbreaking

eyecontact.Whenshewasonlyafewinchesawayshestopped.Shestartedtoreachoutherhand,thought

betterofit,andpulledback.ChristinewrappedherarmsaroundherselfandlookedatCaroline

inquiringly.

Carolinegaveherawaterysmile.“Hi,Chrissy.”

Hereyeswidenedandshestartedtosway.AsChristinepitchedforwardCarolinemanagedtocatch

herinherarms.Shelookeddown.Christinehadpassedout.

“Icertainlydidn’texpectthattohappen,”shesaid.

Jacklookedjustasshockedasshefelt.“NeitherdidI.”

Carolinestruggledtoholdherupright.Jackwasjuststandingthere.Sheturnedtohim.“Areyou

goingtohelpmeorwhat?”

“Sorry,you’realwaystalkingaboutwomennotneedingmaleassistancewithsuchthings.”Jack

helpedCarolinepositionChristineonthecouchbeforepickingupherphoneandputtingitnexttoher

purse.“Iwastryingtohonoryourprinciples.”

“Veryfunny,”Carolinesaid,asChristinestartedtocomearound.“ChrissyfiguredoutwhoIwas

rightaway.”

“Andlookhowshereacted.”

“Don’tbemean.”

“Fine.WhenshecomestoI’llbesuretogiveheratrophy.”

CarolineputherarmaroundChristine’sshoulders,pattingherfacelightly.“Wakeup,sleepyhead.”

Christinesteadiedherselfonthecouch.“Whathappened?”

“Youfainted.”

“What?”

CarolinekneltdownonthefloorandtookChristine’shandsinhers.“Really,Chrissy.Fainting.That’s

soVictorian.”

“Caroline?”Christineasked.

Carolineknewitwasill-manneredbutcouldn’thelpbutlaugh.ChristineSullivanwasn’tawilting

flowerbyanystretchoftheimagination.“Ican’tbelieveyoupassedout,”shesaid.“Andmewithouta

camera.”Shelaughedagain.“Thatmentalimageisgoingtostaywithmeawhile.”

ChristinebroughtashakinghandforwardtotouchCaroline’sface,herlipstrembling.“Punky?”

“Pleasedon’tfaintagain,”Carolinesaid.

“DidIfallasleep?AmIdreaming?”

Carolinebeamedather.“You’rewideawake.Andyouknowit’sme.Anyoneelsewouldhavelet

youhitthefloor.”

Christinesprangdowntoenvelopherinavicioushug.Theforcewasalmostenoughtoknockher

backwardsbutCarolinemanagedtokeepbothofthemupright.

Christinestartedweeping.“Ithoughtyouweredead.”

Carolinebegantocrytoo.“Ialmostwas.Morethanafewtimes.”Christinewasleaningintoher

chest,holdinghersotightlythatCarolinealmostcouldn’tcatchherbreath.“IpromisedyouI’dcome,

Chrissy,”shewhispered.“ItjusttookalittlelongerthanIthought.”

Christinehuggedhercloser.“Ican’tbelieveyou’rehere.”

“Passingoutandcrushingmylungs.Thosemaybothbefirstsforyou,”Carolinesaid.

Thatdrewachuckle.“I’veneverbeenoneforspontaneousdisplaysofaffection.Idon’tknowhowto

dothemverywell.”

“Doesn’tbothermeintheleast.”Carolinepulledthemtotheirfeet,cradlingChristine’sfaceinher

hands.“Youhadmeworriedforaminute.Ithoughttheshockofseeingmemighthavekilledyou.”

“Youdidthrowmeforaloop.”ChristinegrabbedCarolineinanotherferociousembrace,glancing

overhershoulder.“Jack.”

Hedidn’tbotherhidinghistears.“Hi,Christine.”

Shepattedhisarm.“Areyouourrebelleaders?”

“Indeedweare,”hesaid.

“Ishouldhaveknownyou’dfindawaytodefytheodds.”Christinebrushedherfingersacrosshis

face.“Ohstopcrying,yousap.Don’tevenpretendyou’rehappytoseeme.”

Butshewassmiling,andJackpattedherbackasshekissedhischeek.“YouandCarolinejustmade

mehaveamoment,that’sall,”hesaid.

Christinegavehimagianthug.“Nicecoverstory,Governor.”

“HepreferstogobyCommanderMcIntyre,”Carolinequipped.“Makeshimfeelallbigandmanly.”

“What’syourimpressivetitle?”Christineaskedher.

“I’macommandertoo.It’squitetedious.”Carolinesqueezedbothofherhands.“Howareourgirls?”

Christinesniffled.“They’regoingtobesomuchbetteroncetheyseeyou.IknowIwassupposedto

bringthemwithmebutIwasn’tsurehowthatwouldgoover.MargueritewaseagertocomebutSophie

hasbeenupsetlatelyandifIhadknownitwasyou-”

Oh,Carolinewasn’tquitereadytohearthat.Hereyesgrewwateryagainandshepulledthe

newspaperarticleoutofherjacket,handingittoChristine.

“We’vegotabigcouchhere,ladies,”Jacksaid.“Howaboutwesitdown?”

“Yeah,youstilllookalittlewobbly.”CarolinehuggedChristineagain,harderthistime.“Nice

necklace,bytheway.”

ChristinefingeredtheMiraculousMedalshehadaroundherneck.“Oh,younoticed?Ialwayswear

it.”

“I’mglad.”

“SomeoneIloveverymuchgaveittome.Iwasn’tabouttoletitgo.”Shesatdownonthecouch

betweenCarolineandJack.Christinelookeddownatthearticle.“Wheredidyougetthis?Ithoughtitwas

pulled.”

“We’retheoneswhopulledit,”Jacksaid.“Therisktoyoursafetywastoogreat.”

“Areyousayingthatsomesortofpoliticalmaniacmayhaveitoutforus?”Christineasked.“I’m

shocked.”

Jackclearlydidn’tfindthehumorinherremark.“IfSantosknowswe’realive,thethreatbecomes

greater.”

Trustherhusbandtobringupatopicshedidn’twanttotouch,ever.“I’msosorry,Chrissy.You’ve

hadtodosomuchthepasttwoyearsandyouweredoingitalone.”

JackpattedChristine’sknee.“Wecan’tthankyouenough.”

ShewrappedbothherarmsaroundCaroline.“Nothingpersonal,Jack.Iwanttoholdontoyourwife

foralittlewhile.Maybelonger.”

Heputhisarmaroundheranyway.“Nooffensetaken.”

Allthisaffectionwasliabletodrainthemall.Carolinewasn’tabouttocomplain.Whetherhugswere

atapremiumorflowinglikewater,theyweretobecherished.Christinewasexultanttoseethembothand

shewantedtorevelinitaslongasshecould.

“Ican’tbelieveyou’rehere.Yourchildren-”Christinestopped,composingherself.

Yeah,Carolinecouldn’tquitearticulateiteither.“TellusaboutMoandFeef.”

“MaggieandSoph,”shesaidinstantly.“Ihopethat’sallright.Icouldn’t–IcallthemMaggieand

Soph.”

Understandable.“Aretheyokay?”Carolinewhispered.

“They’redoingwellinthesecretsquirrelschooltheyhavesetupforex-pats,madesomefriends,

seemtobeputtingupwithmeokay.”Christinesighed.“It’sbeenalongtwoyears.”

Carolinewasn’tabouttomentionTomandJess.Notnow.Maybelater.“Aretheymadatme?Atus?”

“Ofcoursenot,Punky.”

“Don’tlie,Chrissy.Icanhearitinyourvoice.”

Christineletoutahardbreath.“Anyissuestheyhavearegoingtobeeasilyremediedoncetheysee

you.”

Carolinedidn’tfindherwordsallthatreassuring.“Ineverwantedtoleavethem.JackandIfully

intendedtomakeituphere.Inevermeanttolie.”

“Caroline,lookatme.”Christinegrabbedherhand.Hereyeswerebright.“Itisanabsolutemiracle

thatbothofyouarehere.Iamnotgoingtotakethatforgranted,andneitherwillthey.Thelastcoupleof

monthshavebeendifficult.Readingthosefiles,hearingjournaliststalkaboutthemonthenews,

speculatingaboutthemintheblogosphere…itmakesmesicktothinkaboutit.”Christinestartedcrying

again.“I’msorry.Idon’thavearighttobeupsetaboutthisanymore,doI?”

“Ofcourseyoudo,”Carolinesaid.“You’vebeendealingwithwhoknowshowmuchandthenwe

showeduptotakeyouonanotheremotionalrollercoaster.”

“Todaycertainlyhasn’tturnedoutthewayIthoughtitwouldwhenIgotupthismorning.ButI’mnot

goingtocomplain,”Christinesaid.“Notonebit.”

CarolinerestedherheadonChristine’sshoulder,hearingherbreathe.“Yourecognizedmeright

away.”

Christinegaveheraquicksqueeze.“I’dknowyourlaughanywhere.Thewayyoucarryyourself.The

wayyousaidmyname.Andyou’retheonlyonewhowouldspeakthatwaytoJack.Ortome.”Shepulled

backtoexamineCaroline.“Youstillhavethosewonderful,warmbrowneyes.”

“Iknowyou’retryingnottocallattentiontomyappearance,Chrissy.”

ChristinerubbedastrandofCaroline’shairbetweenherfingers.“Thisperoxiderinsecouldusea

littlework.”

Carolinehadbeenthinkingthesamething.Maybeachangewasinorder.“Iappreciateyour

decorum.”

“It’snotdecorum.”Hervoicebroke.“Idon’twanttothinkaboutwhathappenedtoyouwhileyou

wereinthatfederalprison.”

“Thenwedon’thavetotalkaboutit.It’suptoyou.”

ChristineturnedherheadtowardJack.“Howareyoudealingwithallofthis?”

Heregardedherwearily.“Howmuchtimedoyouhave?”

Sherummagedaroundinherpurse,sendingaquickmessage.“Ihavealotmoretimebackatour

apartment.Shallwegoseeyourchildren?”

ChapterTwelve

“Youmustlovehavingadriver,”Carolinesaid.

Christineshrugged,watchinghimloadtheirluggageintothetrunk.“It’saniceperk.”

“AreyouinchargeofalltheAmericanrefugees?”

“Unofficially.Myofficialcoverstoryisafamilydoctorworkingatalocalclinic.”

“Isthatwhatyoureallydo?”Carolineasked.

“Iprovidemedicalcaretothepeoplewholiveinourbuilding.Itkeepsmebusy.”

Carolinecouldonlyimaginehowmanydistractionsshe’dneededoverthepasttwoyears.“Isitvery

far?”

“We’rejustoutsidethecity,”Christinesaid,slidingintothebackseat.Shelookedpleasedwhen

Carolinesatinthemiddle.

“Icouldmakeajokeaboutridingbitch,”Carolinesaid.

Christinefastenedherseatbelt.“YouthinkIshouldbetheoneinthemiddle.”

“Ididn’tsaythat.”

“Youthoughtit.”

Jackscowled.“Isitgoingtobethiswaytheentirecarride?”

Carolinecouldhavealittlefunathisexpense.“Thisguydidn’trecognizemewhenIgotto

California.”

“We’vebeenoverthat,”hesaid.“Manytimes.”

“Ittookhimalittlebittofigureitout.”

“Youweighedabouttwentypoundslessthanyoudonow,andyouwerewearingcontacts.”

“Youwerethatskinny?”Christineclosedhereyes.“You’reunderweightnow.”

Oh,shedidn’tmeantobringanyonedown.Shehadtotakeitbackup.“I’vegainedsomemuscle.

Eatenalotofchocolate.”CarolinegaveJackaslysmile.“ButwhenIgottothebaseitwaslikehedidn’t

wanttobelieveitwasme.”

“Caroline,stop,”hesaid.“Christinewinstheperpetualdevotioncontest.Allright?”

“I’mkidding,Jack.”

Hekissedheronthecheek.“Iknow.Ilikegivingyouahardtimewhentheopportunitypresents

itself.”HelookedoveratChristine.“Iwasaverystubbornmanwhenshefirstarrived.”

“Whathappenedwithyoutwoanyway?”Christineasked,thenwavedherhand.“Nevermind,Idon’t

wanttostartnow.We’realmosthome.”

Home.WhereMoandFeefwere.

Thecarpulledupbesidealargeconvertedmansion.“Let’sgoseeyourchildren,”Christinesaid.“I

mayhaveadriverbutsadly,thereisnoporterforyourluggage.”

“It’sgoingtobeverydifficultformetocarrybothsuitcases,”Jacksaid.“ButI’lltry.”

ChristinefrownedatCaroline’sbag.“Youusedtopackanentirecarforaweekendtrip.”

Shehadagiantsuitcaseandaknapsackcontainingmostofherworldlypossessions.“I’mremarkably

efficientnow,”Carolinesaid.Couldn’tChristinetellshewasanxiousashell?“Canwejustgointhere

already?”

“Holdyourhorses.”Christineopenedthefrontdoorandledthemdownthehalltothestairs,where

twoMountieswerewaiting.“TheodoreBourgeois,JosephineMouton,meetJackandCarolineMcIntyre.”

“We’vebeenexpectingyou,”Bourgeoissaid.

Hispartnernodded.“WhenthePrimeMinistercalls,youlisten.”

CarolineandJackshooktheirhands.“Haveyoubeenkeepingourchildrensafe?”Jackasked.

“Yes,sir,”Moutonsaid.

“Thankyouboth.”CarolinewinkedatChristine.“AndthankyoufortakingcareofSenatorSullivan

too.”

“Justdoingourjobs,ma’am,”saidBourgeois.

Christineglancedatherwatch.“TheMcIntyreswillbestayinginourapartmentforthenextfew

days.”

Bourgeoisnodded.“Goonup.”

“Yougottabesomewhere?”Carolineaskedher.

“No,”Christinesaid.“Ijustwantedtomakesurethegirlswouldbehome.Theyweregoingtostudy

inthelibraryforawhile.”

Amazingthatsomuchoftheirunconventionallifesoundednormal,thewayChristinedescribedit.

“We’reonthesecondfloor,”Christinesaidcasually,astheywentupthestairs.“It’snotmuch,butwe

eachhaveourownbedroomandthere’senoughspacesowearen’tfallingontopofeachother.Thisis

highsecurity.Americansgrantedasylumareonlyallowedtolivehereaftertheygothroughextensive

interviewsandbackgroundchecks.Manyofusarelivingunderassumednames.”

“What’syours?”Carolineasked.

“PhoebeMongeau.MargueriteisMoniqueandSophieisEvangeline.Theyinsistedonmakingour

namesFrencheventhoughIdon’tspeakaword.”

“Youbroughtthatonyourself,”Carolinesaid.“Andyoudon’thavetoexplainanything.I’msureyour

apartmentismuchnicerthananyplacewe’vestayedrecently.”

“ExceptthathotelinTheHague.”Jacksmiled.“Thatwasnice.”

Carolinewouldhaveshushedhimbutshewastoofocusedontakingthestairstwoatatime.“Which

unitisit?”sheasked,whentheyreachedthesecondfloor.

“221,but,Caroline-”Christinecalled,butshewasalreadyrunningdownthehall.

“She’salittleeager,”Jacksaid,whenthey’dcaughtuptoher.

“Iknow.”Christinetriedtocatchherbreath.“MaybesheforgotI’mtheonewiththekeys.She

definitelyforgotIwaswearingslingbacks.”

Thatmayhavebeenabitinconsiderate.Combatbootswereeasiertoruninthanheels.Butnowwas

notthetimeforguilt.Atleast,notuntilsheheardChristineslidethekeyintothelock.Carolineturned

away,focusinghergazeonthecarpet.

Jackputhisarmaroundher.“It’sokay,sweetheart.ChristineandIarebothhere.”

Tearsprickedhereyes.Thiswashappening.Thiswashappeningandshecouldn’tcontrolthe

outcome.Shecouldn’tevencontrolheremotions.“Whatifthey’remad?Whatiftheyhateusformaking

themleave?”

Christinestoppedmidwaythroughopeningthedoor.“Punky,you’reoverreacting.They’regoingtobe

elatedtoseeyou.Ipromise.I’llgoinfirst.”

Sheledtheminside.Christinehadbeenright.Theplacewasn’tallthatlarge.Butitwascozy,

friendlyeven.ItgaveoffamuchdifferentvibethanherhouseinBrynMawr,whichwasalittlestiffer,

moreformal.Itwasarefreshingandunexpectedchange.

“Maggie!Soph!”Christineremovedhercoat,hangingitupintheclosetintheentryway.“You

home?”

“We’reinhere.”Ateenagevoiceansweredfromoneofthebedrooms.ItwaslowerthanCaroline

expected,butsherecognizeditimmediately.

“Mo,”shewhispered.

Christinepointeddownthehall.“That’sherroom.”

Carolinewrungherhands,buttheyshookanyway.Christinepattedherarm.“I’llgogetthem.Will

thatmakeyoufeelbetter?”

JackguidedCarolinetothecouchandsatdownnexttoher.“We’llwaithere,”hesaid.“Calmdown,

sweetheart.”

Panickyterror.Thatwasthebestwaytodescribethewayshefelt.Anunexpectedresponse,which

madeitworse.Aftereverythingshe’dbeenthrough,itseemedpeculiartobefrightenedofseeingher

children.Butshewaspracticallyinfightorflightmode.

Jackkissedhertemple,hishandatthesmallofherback.“They’regoingtobesohappyyou’rehere.

Don’tworryaboutit.”

“Easyforyoutosay.Youlooklikeyourself.Whatiftheydon’tbelieveme?”

“Theywill.Theyknowyou.”

Washekidding?Itwassomuchmorethanappearancesandheknewit.

Herhusbandwasn’tabletoignorethesharpnessofhergaze.“Themostsuspicious,leasttrusting

womanI’veevermetacceptedyouwithoutquestionafewhoursago,”hesaid.“Yourchildrenaren’t

goingtohaveanyissues.”

Carolineglancedoverattheendtable,spottingapictureshe’dneverseenbefore.AshotofJack,

Caroline,Christine,andTomatJackandCaroline’swedding.Shedidn’trecallposingforit.Though

they’dhadanintimategathering,ithadbeenawhirlwindofanevening.Shestaredatthesmilingfaces.

“Huh.”Shepointedatthepicture.“Doyourememberthis?”

“HowcouldIforget?”

He’dmissedthepointofherquestion.“Idon’tremembertakingthispicture.Doyou?”

“Vaguely.Weposedforalotofpicturesthatday.”

“IwonderwhereChristinegotit.”Itseemedanoddthingforhertolugacrosstheborderwhenallof

themhadpackedsolight.

Heshrugged.“You’dhavetoaskher,Iguess.”

Thatday,thatnight,thosefirstfewyearsoftheirmarriage…theyseemedlikeanotherperson’slife.It

painedCarolinetothinkaboutit,evennow.Jacktookherhandandsheshuffledclosertohim,feelingthe

firearmrestingonhiship.

Shit.They’dmadesuretoarmthemselveswhileleavingLangevinBlock,despitethesteelyeyesof

theMountiesassignedtoescortthemtotheirnextlocation.

Carolinegrabbedherownholster.“Shouldwe,um,putthesesomewhere?Idon’twanttoscare

them.”

“Ourguns?”Jack’stonemadeitclearhe’dforgottenhewasarmed.“I’msurprisedBourgeoisand

Moutondidn’tsearchus.”

“Wemightwanttotalktothemaboutthattacticalerror,”shesaid,grabbingherknapsack.“Hurryup,

Jack.I’dprefertheynotseeuspointingfirearmsatthem.”Carolineremovedthemagazineandshovedher

SigSauerintoherbackpackalongwithhis,closingitjustassheheardChristineclearingherthroat.

“Wewerejustputtingourgunsaway,”Jacksaid.

Carolinelookedup.Thereweretwoblondteenagersstaringatthem.Theolderonehadsparkling

blueeyes,likeherfather.Theyoungeronehadbrowneyes,likehermother.Beautiful,mature,proud

youngwomen.Andtheybothlookedconfusedashell.

Christinepulledthemforward.“Itoldyou,”shesaidsoftly,puttingherarmsaroundMargueriteand

Sophie.“Yourparentsareheretoseeyou.”

Itseemedsomuchmoreanticlimacticthanitshouldhavebeen,butitwasenough.Carolineputher

handstohermouth,weeping.

Jackwrappedhisarmaroundhershoulder.“It’sokay,sweetheart.”

“Jack?”Margueriteasked.HervoicehadthesametoneofdisbeliefasChristine’shadearlierinthe

day.

Margueritewasstaringatthembothsuspiciously.Distrust.Incredulity.Shock.Hereldestdaughter

didn’tbelievewhatshewasseeing.NotthatCarolinecouldblameher.Thepaincutlikeaknifeandshe

begantocryharder.

Sophiestudiedherface.“Mommy?”

No.Shehadtostaystrong.Evenwithallthosebumpsintheroad,allthewoundsthey’dhavetoheal,

Carolinehadtobetheparent.“Hi,Feef.”

Sophieranovertothecouchandthrewherarmsaroundhermother,practicallylandingonherlap.

Carolineheldhertight,rockingthembackandforth.“Oh,munchkin.Don’tcry.”

“Youare,”Sophiesaid.

Carolinewipedthetearsoffherdaughter’sface.“Ihavetroublecontrollingmyemotions

sometimes.”

Sophiekissedhercheek.“Ican’t–wow.”

Shegaveherdaughteragoodlook.“MyGod.You’resotall.Andgorgeous.”

Sophieblushed.“Mo-om.”

Whatagifttohearthataffectionate,chidingtone.Fromherchild.Whowasaliveandsittingnextto

her,shakingfromexcitement,unwillingtolethergo.“I’mnotkidding.You-”Carolinebitherlip,vowing

tokeepanymoretearsatbay.“Yougrewup.”

Sophiesnuggledherforaminute.“Ihavealongwaytogo.”ShehuggedJackhard,thenturnedtoher

sister.“Youwereright.WetotallyshouldhavegonetoseethePrimeMinister.”

CarolinelookedupatMarguerite,whonowhadherarmwrappedprotectivelyaroundChristine.

“Mo,it’sme.”

Margueritecouldn’thideherskepticism,notfromthewomanwhohadbirthedher.Christinegently

proddedhertowardhermother.

“You’redead,”shefinallysaid.“Isawtherecords.”

ThatwasastoryCarolinewouldsaveforlater.Alotlater.“I’mprettysureI’malive.AndI’dreally

likeahug.”

Margueritetookasteptowardthecouch,thenbackedaway.“Whathappenedtoyou?Youaren’t–

youdon’tlookmuchlikeyourself.”

Shecouldforgivethebluntnessofherdaughter’scomment.Margueritewasright.Sophiehadsimply

beentookindtopointitout.“Thegovernmentthinkstheykilledme,soIcan’tmakeittooobviouswhoI

am,”Carolinesaid.“Christinehasalreadycommentedonthequalityofmydyejob.”

“Youlooklikeme,mom,”Sophiesaid,clingingtoher.“AlthoughAuntChrissyisright,thecolorisa

littleoff.”

Carolinedidn’tknowwhethertofindMarguerite’sbehavioradmirableormaddening.Thatstubborn

streakhadbeenbornefromyearsofhermother’sinfluence.Shecouldhardlybegrudgeherdaughterfor

followinginheraltogetherenigmaticfootsteps.“Don’tfaint,”shesaid,tryingtolightenthemood.

“ChrissydidthatandIdon’twanttohavetopickyouupoffthefloor.”

“Iwon’t.”Margueritewidenedherstance,makingclearherfeetwereplantedfirmlyonthecarpet.

“Wherehaveyoubeen?”

Thiswasnotgoingwell.Carolinefeltasoothinghandonherback.Atleastheryoungestdaughter

wasatherside.“Wecantalkaboutthatlater.”Shestartedtogetup,butslumpeddownwhenMarguerite

tookastepbackward.

“Wherehaveyoubeen?”shedemanded.

Sophieglaredathersister,puttingherarmsaroundJackandCaroline.“Stopbeingabitch,Mo.”

“Don’ttalktoyoursisterlikethat,”Jackinterjected.“Shejustneedsaminute.Right?”

“Andwherethehellhaveyoubeen,Jack?”Margueriteasked.

“Marguerite,”Christinesaid.“Stopit.”

CarolinehadforgottenChrissywasstillintheroom.“It’sokay,”shesaid.

Margueritereddened.Herangerwasgettingthebestofher.“No,”shesaid.“It’snot.Wherethefuck

haveyoubeen?”

Christinepointedather.“Stopitrightnow.Youdon’tknowwhatyourmotherandstepfatherwent

throughtogethere.”

“Theydon’tknowwhatwewentthrougheither.It’sbeentwoyears.Wherehavetheybeen?”

“That’senough,”Christinesnapped.“Youarenotgoingtotreatyourparentsthisway.”

“IcantreatthemhoweverIwant.Iwantanswers.”

“Youcangetthemlater,ifyourparentswanttotellyou.Forsomeonewhowantstobedealtwithas

anadult,yousureashellaren’tactinglikeone.”ChristineturnedtoCarolinewithapainedexpressionon

herface.“I’msorry,Punky.Itoldyouthey’dbehappytoseeyou.Ithought-”

Theiremotionswouldbetheruinofthemall.“Chrissy-”

Christinewavedheroff.“Excuseme,”shesaidshakily,andhurriedtowardherbedroom.

Carolineheardthedoorclickshut.Asoft,unobtrusivenoise.Shefeltlikeaspectatorinherownlife,

watchingsomeoneelsedirectthescenes,makethemoves,determinetheoutcome.Nowherbestfriend

wascaughtupinit.Sheputherheadinherhands.Sophieleanedoverandwrappedherarmsaroundher

shoulders.

“It’sokay,mommy,”shewhispered.

Herchildcouldtrytograntherabsolution,butCarolinehadtopardonherselffirst.Whichwasdamn

nearimpossible.“I’msorryIwasn’theresooner.”

“Letmehandlethis.”Jackpattedherback,gettingupfromthecouch.“Upuntilacoupleofdaysago

wethoughtyouweredead,”hesaid.“Maybeyoushouldcutyourmothersomeslack.She’ssuffered

enormouslyduringthelasttwoyears,especiallyaftershebelievedshe’dlostyou.”Hekneltdown.

“Don’tgetworkedup,sweetheart.”

“Itoldyou,Jack,”shewhispered.“Itoldyouthey’dbemad.”

“I’mnotmad,”Sophiesaid,hervoicetrembling.“I’msogladyou’rehere.Pleasestopcrying.”

Carolineliftedherheadup.“Don’tbemad,Mo.Please.”

Margueritestaredather,coveringhermouthwithaquiveringhand.CarolinesqueezedSophie’sknee

andgotupfromthecouch,herarmsoutstretched.“Wegothereassoonaswecould,”shesaid.“Please

believeme.”ShereachedtowardMarguerite,whopushedheraway.

“Don’t.”

Carolinereachedtowardheragain,andMargueritesteppedbackward.

“Don’t,”sherepeated,hereyesfillingwithtears.

Carolinereachedtowardherathirdtime,grabbingherinafiercehug.“I’msorry,darling,”shesaid.

“Inevermeanttoleaveyou.Don’tbemad.”

Margueriteletoutanexasperatedbreathbutdidn’tsquirmaway.“Don’ttellmehowtofeel!”

“I’mangrytoo,aboutalotofthings.Pleasedon’ttakeitoutonme.”Hervoicebrokeasshepulled

herdaughtercloser.Shejusthadtoholdon.Herbold,tenaciousfirstbornwasalmostaheadtallerthan

hernow,butshe’dreturnthehug.EvenifCarolinecouldn’tforgiveherself,surelyherchildrenwere

betterthanthat.“I’vemissedyousomuch.Pleasedon’tdothis.”

Theslightslumpofashoulder.Thelean.Thearmstighteningaroundherneck.Margueritestartedto

cry.“Wherewereyou?Whattookyousolong?”

“Wedidn’tknow.Wethoughtyouweregone.”

Margueriteletoutasob.“I’msorry.”

“Don’tbe.It’sokay.”Shekissedherdaughter’scheek.“I’msohappytoseeyou,mylittleMoMo.”

Margueriteactuallylaughed.“Youhadtostandonyourtiptoestokissme.I’mnotlittle.”

Thiswastrue.“You’llalwaysbemymunchkin.”

Herdaughterpressedherfaceintohershoulder.“Whathappenedtoyou?”

God,whataloadedquestion.Carolinehuggedherclose.“Wedon’thavetotalkaboutthatyet.I’d

justliketoholdyouforawhile.”They’dalldobetteriftheycouldgetpastthestormandwaitforthe

rainbowtoappear.Sheledherdaughtertothecouch.“CanyoupleasebenicetoJackeventhoughhejust

yelledatyou?”

Margueriteletoutalittlechuckle.“Iguessso.”Shegavehimafirmhug.

“Hi,kiddo,”hesaid,kissingheronthecheek.Hesatdownonthecouchandputhisarmsaround

Sophie,whosnuggledintohisshoulder.

Carolinewipedhereyes.ThedoortoChristine’sroomwasstillshut.“IneedtocheckonAunt

Chrissy.”

“Ishouldn’thavespokentoyouthatway.”Margueriteleanedinforanotherhug.“Noweveryoneis

upset.I’msorry.”

Carolinewouldtakeaffectionwherevershecouldgetit.“Don’tworryaboutit,Mo.I’msureChrissy

isfine.She’shadalongday.Weallhave.”

“Whataboutyou?Areyoufine?”

Gettingthere.“Muchbetternow.”

“I’llgowithyou,”Margueritesaid.“Ishouldapologize.”

“Youdon’thavetodoitrightnow.”

Shegavehermotherasmallsmile.“It’stheproperthingtodo.”

Carolineknockedsoftlyonthedoor.“It’sjustme,Chrissy.CanIcomein?”SheturnedtoMarguerite.

“Ifshedoesn’tanswerinfiveseconds,I’mgoinginanyway.Unlessshelockedusout.”

Margueriteshookherhead.“Ican’tfigureoutwhysheeverputupwithyou.”

Sheopenedthedooracrackandlookedaround.Christinewassittingonthebed.Hereyeswerered.

Shedidn’tsayanything.Carolinewasn’tsureifthatwasgoodorbad.“Ilied.IhaveMowithme.Canwe

comein?”

Christinegrabbedatissue.“DoIhaveachoice?”

Carolinepushedthedooropentherestoftheway.“YoushallhavenoprivacyatallwhileIam

here.”

ShetookMarguerite’shandanddraggedherinside,scanningtheroom.Eventheprospectofliving

sparselyasanex-patinaforeigncountryhadn’tstrappedChristineofherstyle.Theroomwassterilebut

tastefullydecorated,withafewpaintingsonthewall.Therewasalargecomforterwithasubtle,classic

designonthebed.Carolinewasn’tevengoingtospeculateaboutthreadcounts.Perchedonthenightstand

wasalargeglossypictureofChristine,Tom,andtheirtwodaughterstakenthedayChristinewassworn

inasaUnitedStatesSenator.NexttoitwasasilverframewithaphotoofCarolineandChristine,smiling

broadlyattheInauguralBallthenightJackbecameGovernorofPennsylvania.

Carolinesatdownonthebed.“Thisroomissoyou,”shesaid,pickinguptheframedphotoofthe

twoofthem.Lookingatitdidn’tbotherherasmuchasshethoughtitwould.“Idolikethis.”

“Theydon’thaveEthanAllenherebutIdidmybest.”

Ajoke.MaybeChrissywasn’tasupsetassheappeared.“DoestheCanadiangovernmentknowyou

usetheirsupportcheckstofeedyourunquenchablecravingforhighendfurnitureanddesignertextiles?”

“No,”Christinesaid.“Andyou’renotgoingtotellthem.”

Well,shewasnofunatall.ButCarolinecouldhumorher.Forawhile.

Margueritesatontheothersideofthebed,puttingherarmaroundChristine.“I’msorryImadeyou

cry.”

Christinepattedherleg.“It’snotabigdeal.”

“No,itis.Youdeservedbetter.Allofyou.”

CarolineputherarmaroundChristine,reachingovertosqueezeMarguerite’sshoulder.“Youwere

beingstubborn.It’sallright.It’sthesortofthingIwouldhavedone,thereforeit’snotentirelyunexpected

comingfromyou.”

MargueriteturnedtoChristine.“Speakingofnotsopredictablebehavior,didyoureallyfaintthefirst

timeyousawmom?”

Christinereddened.“Ihavelowbloodpressure.That’sallitwas.”

CarolineandMargueritechuckled.

“I’mserious.It’salegitimatemedicalcondition.”

CarolinegaveChristinealittlehug.“Ifounditflattering,”shesaid.“It’sstillfunnyashell,though.”

“Haseverythingworkeditselfout?”

“Fornow.”Carolinewasn’tquitereadytohavetheconversationsthatwereinvariablycoming.

“Let’snotgetintothedeepstuffyet.Canweplaygamesortalkorsomething?”

Christinesmiled.“Sure.”

Thefiveofthemsatinthelivingroomandchattedforhours,carefultoavoidtheheavytopics.

CarolineandJackwereeagertohearaboutwhatSophieandMargueritehadbeendoinginschool.About

theirfriends,theirhobbies,thelittledetailsoftheirlives.Asmallgroupofex-patshadheldoccasional

meetingsoverthepastfewyears,debatingwhethertorevealthemselvestotheAmericangovernment.

Theyhadalwaysvotedagainstit.Butthereleaseoftherecordshadmadetheirmostrecentmeetingmore

difficult,andtheynowhadtodecidewhatcoursetotake.

Christinehadbeentheunspokenleadersinceshearrived.Carolineassumeditwasbecauseof

Christine’srelationshipwithherandJack,andherroleasthegirls’guardian,butshewasn’tgoingtosay

thatoutloud.Christinewasacapableleaderinherownrightandfinallyhadtheopportunitytomakeup

foranypreviousinaction.RepresentativeCapwellandhiswifehadmadeitfromPittsburgh,ashadoneof

Caroline’sfavoriteMidwesternDemocraticsenators,RogerBaileyofMinnesota.AmongBrian,Roger,

andChristine,theirsmallcadreofleadershadplentyofchutzpah.

“Ithinkwe’vetalkedaboutourselvesenough,”Christinesaid.“Howaboutwebreakoutthecards?”

Sophieclappedherhands.“I’mupforthat.”

CardswerenotCaroline’scupofteasinceitwasoneofthefewgamesshewasn’tgoodat.

Margueritepickeduponherreluctancerightaway.

“Youwanttomakecookies?”sheasked.

Homemadebakedgoods.Fancifulandyummy.Twoofherfavoritethings.“I’dloveto.Anyonewant

tojoinus?”

Christinehadalreadystarteddealingadeck.“I’mgoingtowhipyourhusbandatgin.”

Sophiepickedupherhand.“NotifIdoitfirst.”

“IalreadyknowwhatJackisgoingtosay,”Carolinesaid.“Let’sstartthisparty.”

Margueriteledherintothekitchen.“Doyouneedarecipe?”

“Hellno.”Shetappedhertemple.“It’sallinhere.ButIdon’tknowwhereanythingissoyou’llhave

toshowme.”

MargueritestartedbustlingaroundthecabinetsasCarolineunconsciouslyrolledupthesleevesof

hersweater,readytogettowork.Herdaughterwhirledaround,gaspingwhenshesawCaroline’s

exposedwrists.Bagsofflourandsugarfelloutofherarms,creatingasmallwhitecloudwhentheyhit

thefloorwithathump.

Carolinehastilypulledhersleevesbackdown.“I’msorry.”

Margueritecrossedthesmallkitchenintwosteps.“Oh,mom.”

Thepoorgirllookedhorrified.Carolinedidn’tknowwhattodososhejustpulledherdaughterinto

herarms.“It’sokay,Mo.Theydon’thurt.”

MargueritedugherfingersintoCaroline’sshoulders.“Don’tletSophieseethosemarks.Notunless

youcanprepareherfirst.”

Oneofthemanyinevitableconversationsthatneededtobehadbutsoundedsoveryundesirable.

Carolinekissedheronthecheek.“It’sfine.I’mokay.”

Fine.Okay.Justpeachy.Sheshouldn’thaveexpectedasmartkidtobuythatargument.Marguerite

pulledback,crossingherarms.Hell,shewasalmostofage.Shecouldhandlealittletruth.

“Allright,I’mprettyfuckedupmentally,”Carolinesaid.“ButI’mokayphysically.”Sheleanedinfor

anotherhardembrace.“Iloveyou,Mo.Don’tburdenyourselfwithit.Youdon’tneedtoworryabout

anythingbutusspendingtimetogether.”

Margueritegrabbedapapertowel,blowinghernose.“Idon’twanttothinkaboutwhattheydidto

you.”

Youandmeboth.“Youshouldneverhavetothinkaboutit.”Carolinebenttopickupthesugarand

flour.“Thosegoofballsinthelivingroomareexpectingcookiessolet’snotdisappointthem.”

Margueritewentovertothecabinetagain.“Ifyouneedtorollupyoursleevestowork,Icangetover

it,”shesaid,herbacktoCaroline.

They’dallhavetogetoveritsometime.Orlearntodealwithitmoreeffectively.“Iwantyoutofeel

comfortable,”Carolinesaidsoftly.Hervoicecaught.“Idon’twantyoutobeashamedtolookatme.”

Margueriteputtherestofthebakingingredientsdownandtookhermother’shands.“I’meverything

butashamed.Iloveyou.I’mproudofyou.”

Nosuchthingastoomanyhugs.“I’mnotsureI’mgoingtogetsickofholdingthetwoofyou.Chrissy

too.Imightneedalotofaffection.”

“Idon’thaveaproblemwiththat.Butyou’regoingtohavetoletgoofmelongenoughtoletme

bake.”

Carolinehoppedontothekitchenisland.“Worksforme.I’lljustbarkinstructionsatyou.Let’ssee

howwellyoureplicatemywork.”

“Iacceptyourchallenge,”Margueritesaid.“I’vehadtimetopractice.Mycookiesmightbebetter

thanyours.Canyouhandlethatblowtoyourself-esteem?”

Asnarkybaker.Herfavoritekind.“Oh,hushupandstartmixing.”

ChapterThirteen

“You’restillquitethecook,Jack,”Christinesaid.

Heleanedbackinhischair.“‘Twasnothing.”

“Nonsense.”Shegatheredupherdishes,takingcaretoswipeCaroline’saswell.“Hespoilsyou,you

know.”

Sosaidthewomanwhowasclearingthetablewithoutcomplaint.“Iknow,”Carolinesaid.

“What’sondeckfortherestofthenight?”Sophieasked.

“Bedtimeforbothofyou,”Christinesaid.

Herfacefell.“Really?”

“Thesooneryougotobed,thesoonerwecanspendtimetogethertomorrow,”Carolinesaid.

Margueritewipedtheremnantsofcookieoffherfingers.“Igettostayup,though.Right?”

They’deatenlate,toocaughtupinconversationtofocusonmakingapropermeal.Theyprobably

wouldhavespenttheentireeveningtalkinguntiltheyfellasleepifJackhadn’tgoneintothekitchenand

thrownsomethingtogetherforallofthem.

“It’salmosteleven,”Carolinesaid.“Youneedyourrest.”

MargueritegrabbedSophie’sarm.“Iftheywanttosendustobed,let’sgetoutofherebeforewe

havetohelpcleanup.”

SophiegaveCarolineandJackhugs.“Goodnight,”shesaidsoftly.

Carolinestoodup.“Isit,uh,okayifItuckyouin?”

Margueritecameoverforherownhug.“Bothofus?”

Wassheactingasawkwardasshefelt?“Ifthat’sokay.”

“Ofcourseit’sokay,”Sophiesaid.

“Ijust-”Shehadtoplaythisright.“IwashopingIcouldholdyouforawhile.Unlessthat’sweird.”

Sophieleanedinforanotherhug.“Thatworksforme.”

“I’mgame.”Margueritestarteddraggingherdownthehall.“Ithinkit’ssweet.”

Shestillfeltalittleembarrassedaboutthewholething.“Youtwoarepracticallygrown.”

Sophieslidinbesideher.“Yeah,butyou’reourmom.”

Carolineresistedtheurgetogetweepy.She’ddoneenoughofthatalready.“DidIevertellyouhow

awesomeyouare?”

Margueritemotionedtowardthefirstbedroom.“Thisone’smine.Ihopeyouapprove.”

ShemusthavenoticedCarolinepassingjudgmentonChristine’sdécor.Herroomwasequally

simple,buteclectic.Afewvintagepostersonthewall.Matchingquiltandduvet.Apictureoftheirfamily

onthenightstand.

“Ido,”Carolinesaid.“I’mimpressedthebedismade.”

Margueritemessedupthequiltbeforetossingapillowather.“Notanymore.”SheturnedtoSophie.

“Oldestgoesfirst.”

Sophieshrugged.“Finewithme.MeansIgetthebathroomforaslongasIwant.”

Shedidn’tcareifitwascheesyorcornyorunnecessary–Carolinehadn’tsaidgoodnighttoher

childreninovertwoyearsandshewasgoingtomakeitright.Shespenttimewitheachoftheminturn,

toldthemeachastoryaboutwhentheywereborn,whatitwaslikewhentheygothome,howtheyfelt

abouteachothergrowingup.Andsheheldontothem,huggedthem,remindedthemshelovedthem…just

becauseshecould.Itwasn’tuntilSophieremindedhertheyhadplentyoftimetosharestoriesthatshe

reluctantlyheadedbacktothekitchen.JackandChristinewerewaitingforher.

“Didyouhavefun?”heasked.“Beenwaitingalongtimetodowhatusedtoberoutine.”

Carolinekissedhimonthecheek.“Ienjoyedmyself,yes.”

“Good.Igettodoittomorrownight.”

Thatwassweet.Andverypaternal.“Nowthatthegirlsareinbed,Chrissyisgoingtoaskuslotsof

questions.”

Christinestaredintoherteacup.“Iwasgoingtobuilduptoit.Ifyou’renotreadytotalk,Icanwait.”

Jackshookhishead.“Therearethingsyouneedtoknow.”

Christineshuddered.“Iwasafraidyouweregoingtosaythat.”

“Ithastocomeoutsometime.”

ChristinesqueezedCaroline’shand.“Youdon’thavetotellmeanythingyoudon’twant.Thesame

holdsforyou,Jack.”

“Idon’thavemuchtotell.I’msureyouwanttotalktomywifeanyway.”

“Goahead,”Carolinesaid.“Getitoverwith.”

Christineshovedhercuptotheside.“Ireadsomeofthosereports.Didyouseeanyone…whenyou

wereheldprisoner?”

Friends.Acquaintances.Enemies?“Yeah,”Carolinewhispered.“Quiteafew.”

“Didanyoneelsegetout?”

Carolinecouldn’timagineanyscenarioinwhichtheyhad.“Idoubtit.Idon’tsupposeanyonehere

hasclaimedtohaveescaped?”

“Hardly.Andhonestly,theonlypersonwhosaidhehadanyinvolvementwiththerebellionisthelast

personyou’dexpect.”

Caroline’sstomachlurched.TherewereveryfewpoliticiansonwhomsheandChristineagreed

completely.Butthewayshespoke.Thecontemptinhervoice.Surelyshecouldn’tmean-“Who?”

Christineblewoutahardbreath.“JeffreyMurdock.”

Jackblastedoutofhischair.“Fuck.Fuckfuckfuck.Whereishe?”

He’dcaughtherbysurprise.Christinepracticallyfellontothefloor.“Jeffrey?Idon’tknow.He

doesn’tstayhere.Saidhewantedtoliveonhisown.Ithoughtitwasodd,but-”

“Whereishe?”Jackrepeated.

Hewasbreathingfire,readytotakeontheworldwithnothingbutswiftrageandbarehands.The

kindofreactionsheshouldhavehad.ButCarolinefeltnumb.NothingChristinesaidmadesense.It

couldn’tbepossible.Murdockhadhisownambitionsandgoals,hisownneedforpower.Hesharedthe

samenarcissisticsociopathyasSantos.SurelyhewasstillinWashington,perhapseventheWhiteHouse,

workingsidebysidewiththemanhehadtrieddailytoimpressatTheFed.

“Jack,”Carolinestarted.“Letherexplain.”

Christineglancedbackandforthbetweenthetwoofthem.“Wouldoneofyoupleasetellmewhat’s

goingon?”

JackgrabbedCaroline’sknapsackandstartedrummagingaround.“Someone’sgonnagethisassbeat,

that’swhat.”

Shit.Hewaschannelingherbodyguards.Thatwasn’tgood.Christinebroughtherhandsup,confused.

“Caroline?”

“MurdockwasoneofmyinterrogatorsatTheFed,”shesaid.“I’mnotsureyouwanttoknowallthe

details.”

Christinewentpale.“Heinterrogatedyou?”

Jackslammedhispalmonthetable,hisgunalreadyinhishand.“Callitwhatitis,Caroline.He

torturedher.Almostkilledher.ShetoldtheInternationalCriminalCourtallaboutit.”

Christineputherhandoverhermouth.“I–JesusChrist.”

“Whendidhegethere?”Jackasked.

“Wheneveritgottoohotforhim,Isuspect,”Carolinesaid.

Herbestfriendlookedlikeshewasabouttoloseherdinner.Shestartedpacingaroundthekitchen,

wringingherhands.“Hegothereafewmonthsago.Saidhe’dalmostbeenarrested,he’dbeenworking

withtheUnderground.Andhe–whenthepaperswerereleasedhecamehereandcomfortedus.”She

broughtatremblingfingertoherlips.“Ican’t-”

Carolinehaddoneherbesttobetheadult.TostaysanewhenJackwaslosinghishead.Buther

tormentor,hertorturer,hernemesis…hehadconsoledherbestfriendandchildren?Hercoolresolve

shattered.“Hewashere?Inthisapartment?When?”

Christinewipedhermouth.Yes,shedefinitelylookedill.“Rightaftertherecordswerereleased.He

cameoveronawhimand-”

“Didhetouchmychildren?”CarolineresistedtheurgetoshakeChristinebytheshoulders.“Didhe?

Didhetouchyou?Whatdidhesaytoyou?”

Christinesankintoherchair,warilyeyeingJack,whowasrunningoneofhispalmsbackandforth

acrossthebarrelofhishandgun.“Hegaveushugs.ToldafewstoriesaboutCongress.Itwastotal

bullshitbutIwasstillinsuchshockthatIdidn’tstophim.Whenhewasdonehekissedmycheek,toldme

andthegirlshe’dalwaysadmiredyourtenacity.”Sheputherfaceinherhands.“Punky,I’msosorry.I

feelsick.”

Murdockwasexactlywhotheythoughthewas.Whohealwayswouldbe.“It’snotyourfault,”

Carolinesaid.“He’sasociopath.”

“Iwantedtogivehimthebenefitofthedoubt,”Christinewhispered.“Aftereverythingthat’s

happened,Iwantedtobelievehewasagoodperson.”

Carolineclenchedherfists.Christinewasn’ttoblame.Norwasshe,orJack,ortheirchildren.The

blamelaysolelyatthefeetofoneJeffreyMurdock.“Don’tbemadatyourselfforbeingadecenthuman

being,”shesaid.“Youcouldn’thaveknown.”

“We’regoingtogethimhere,”Jacksaid.“There’sawarrantforhisarrest.Gethimherenow.”

Fuck.Hewaslockedandloadedandjustashotheadedasher.Shewasn’tsurehowshewasableto

regainhersenseofcalm,butifitmeantshekeptherhusbandfrommakingagrievouserror,she’dtakeit.

Carolineyankedhisarm.“Jesus,Jack.Whatareyougoingtodo?RunaroundOttawaandgunhimdown?

Putdowntheweapon.”

Heshovedtheguninhiswaistband.“Heconnedyourbestfriendandourchildren.Hetorturedyou.A

bulletinhischestisamercykillingcomparedtowhatI’dliketodotohim.Whereishe?”

Sheturnedaround.“Chrissy,helpmereasonwithhim.”

Christineputherheadinherhands.“I’mnotsureIwantto.Unfortunately,Idon’tknowwherehe

is…notrightnow.Wecangethimhere,though.”

“Let’sdothat.We’lllettheMountiesknowthere’safugitiveinourmidst.”Carolineheldouther

hand.“Jack,givemeyourweapon.”

Hescowledather,reluctantlyhandingitover.“Iwantitfuckingback.”

Dammit.BeforetheyleftCanadahe’dbeboundanddeterminedtohaveavillain’sbloodonhis

righteoushands.“Notwhenyou’reupset.”

Christinenotsodiscreetlytoppedoffherteawithsomewhiskey.“Idon’tbelievethis.”

Poorwoman.She’dhadquitetheday.“It’s…well,Iwon’tlie,Chrissy.You’regoingtohaveto.”

“Iknow.”Christinestaredatthehandgun.“IthinkI’dfeelalittlebetterifyouputthataway.”

Sowouldtheyall.ThelastthingCarolineneededwasareactionaryandoverlyemotionalhusband

withaloadedweapon.ShecouldhideitinChristine’sroom,perhaps.“Jack,you’retired.Callitaday.”

Hestartedpacing.Yeah,thatprobablywasn’tgoingtohappen.“Tomorrow,”hesaid.“Wegethim

heretomorrow.Wenailhisasstothewall.Weletthecopstakecareoftherest.”

She’dfindawaytokeephimfromdoinganythingstupid.Maybetheycouldaskforafewextra

Mountiesjustincase.“We’llgethimherewhenwecan,”Carolinesaid.“Andyou’dbestlistento

Chrissy.It’sherhouse.”

Jacklethisshouldersslump.“I’msorry,Christine.Ishouldn’thave–we’veallhadalongdayandI

havetolearntocontrolmyselfbetter.”

“HardtodowhenitinvolvesPunky.”ShetookthegunoutofCaroline’shand.“Thisisloaded?”

“Itis.Becareful.”

Christinehelditbythemuzzle.“I’llputthissomeplacesafe,”shesaid,andhustledintoherbedroom.

AwayfromJack,shemeant.Carolinepattedhischeek.“Getsomerest.”

Heglancedtowardthelivingroom.“Yousure?”

“I’dfeelbetterknowingoneofuswaswellrested.”

Christinereturnedtothekitchenlookingrelieved.Yeah,shestillhadnointerestinfirearms.Jack

gaveCarolineakiss.“Behave.Bothofyou.Wakemeupifyouneedanything.”

Protectiveanddotingasalways.“Iwill.”

Heheadedtothecouch,fluffingupapillowChristinehadplacedonthearmrestforhim.Heand

Carolinejointlydecidedhe’dcrashtherewhileshesharedaroomwithChristine.Christinetriedtogive

thembothherbedroombuttheyrefused.

Hedozedoffrightaway.Carolineknewhewould.She’dneverbeenabletofallasleepeasily,

especiallynow.Shewasjealoushewasabletomanageitsoquickly.

“Thegirlsseemtobedoingokay,”shesaidsoftly.“BetterthanIthought.”

Christinesetasteamingcupofteaonthetableinfrontofher.“Todaywasagoodday.Ithinkthey

shouldstayhomeforaslongasyou’rehere.Particularlysinceveryfewpeopleknowyou’realive.”

“Peoplewillfigureitouteventually.I’vebeendebatingwhetherweneedtotakethatstep.Once

SantosfindsoutabouttheICCinvestigation,he’llknowI’mthestarwitness.”

“True,”Christinemused.“Butyoudon’thavetoadvertiseit.Thatwouldbelookingfortrouble.”

WhichCarolineseemedtobefamousfor.“Desperatetimes,”shesaid,glancingatthelivingroom.

Jackwascurledupcomfortablyonthecouch,stillinhisstreetclothes.Carolinecoveredhimupwitha

blanketshe’dfoundneatlyfoldedonthetopofarecliner.Heshiftedandshekissedhischeek,smoothing

backhishairbeforereturningtothekitchen.

“Youtwoarecute,”Christinesaid.

“YouthinktheleadersofthenextAmericanRevolutionarecute?”

“Imeantthetwoofyoutogether.It’snice.”

Shesoundedgenuinelyhappy.“Itusedtobugthehelloutofyou.”

“Doesn’tbothermesomuchnow.”

Carolinetookasipoutofherowncupoftea.“IkindoflikenewChristine.”

“Shehasn’thadalotgoingforherlately.”

“Don’tsaythat.She’sdoneagreatjobwithmynerdlings.”

Christinestirredherteaagain.“Shedidwhatshecould.”

“Iknow.”Besttodamnthetorpedoes.They’dtiptoedlongenough.EvenabriefreferencetoTheFed

wasn’tenough.“Isthereanythingyou’dliketotalkabout?”

“YouandJacktellingmeJeffreyMurdockisasadistisn’tenoughforonenight?”

Andshehadn’theardthehalfofit.JustvagueallusionstotheICCinvestigationandabriefhistoryof

JackandCaroline’stravels.Carolineswallowedthetremorinhervoice.“Iknowyou,Chrissy.Youneed

details.Idon’tknowhowmuchIcantellyoubutIdon’twantyoutogocrazy.”

“I’vealreadygonealittlecrazy.Itseemssillytomakeyoutalkaboutuncomfortabletopicssimplyto

makemefeelbetter.”

“Thenasktheeasyquestions.Wedon’thavetotalkaboutthehardstuff.Iknowtherearethingsyou

didn’twanttoaskinfrontofthegirls.”

Christinestoodup.“Idon’twanttotalkouthere.”

“Whateveryouwant,”Carolinesaid,followingChristineintoherbedroom,closingthedoorbehind

them.Shesethermugdirectlyontothewoodennightstand,laughingwhenChristinemoveditontopofa

magazineinstead.“StillsomeOCDthere,Senator.”

“Justashade.”

“So,”Carolinesaid.“Whatdoyouwanttoknow?”

“Whydoesthegovernmentthinkyou’redead?Howdidyoupullthatoneoff?”

Man,shewasplowingtowardActIIwithoutseeingthebeginningorstoppingforanintermission.

“Straightintothemeat,Isee.”

“Youdidn’tgivemeanylimits.I’llask,andyoucantellmeifyoudon’twanttoanswer.”

Thatseemedfairenough.CarolineexplainedtoChristinewhathadhappenedatthefederalholding

facility.Thesanitizedversion,whichwasstillprettydamnpainful.Therewerecertainthingsshe’dputat

thebackofhermind,desperatenottorelive.Especiallysinceshe’dhadtorelivetheminTheHague.But

shetoldheraboutthebeatings,aboutPowell/EdwardsandFischer,aboutMurdock,aboutBobandEllie,

aboutherdevastationathearingwhatshebelievedtobetrueaboutthegirls.Showedherthescarsonher

wrists,thetattooonherarm.Christinecried,feelingguiltyforneedingcomfort,butCarolinewasgladto

provideit.ShetookChristinethroughherjourneyacrossthecountry,herdifficultiesadjustingatthebase,

herfriendshipwithNatalie,herlong,hardstruggletoreconnectwithJack.

ChristineputherchinonCaroline’sshoulder.“I’msosorry,Punky.”

“Don’tbesorry.Youdidn’tcauseanyofit.”

“Ioweyouanexplanation,”Christinesaid.

“Aboutwhat?”

“Idon’treallytalkaboutwhathappenedtousthatnightattheborderstop.”Christinebitherlip.“I

feelsobadly;MaggieandSophtriedtoprodmeintotalkingaboutitandIwouldn’t.ButyouknowI’ve

neverbeenonetoshare,notevenwithTom.”

“No,”Carolinesaid.“Youhaven’t.Istillhaveahardtimetalkingabouteverythingthat’shappened.I

talkedtoNatalieandJackaboutit,managedtogetthroughthatdeposition,butthememoriesarestillso…

raw.Idon’tlikethinkingaboutit.”

“DoyouwanttoknowhowMurdockgotyourscarf?Andthatstuffedanimal?”

Carolinebroughtherheadup.Shehadn’trememberedmentioningthatdetail.“DidItellyouthat?”

“Yousaidenough.Ipiecedittogether.Iknowthat’swhyyouthoughtMargueriteandSophiewere

dead.Youknewdamnwellthey’dnevergivethosethingsup.Ever.Butthere’sagoodreasonhehad

them.”Christineclosedhereyes.“Thatonemomenthascausedyousomuchmiserythelasttwoyears.”

Themiserywasn’tconfinedtoCaroline.“Chrissy,youdon’thavetotalkaboutanyofthis.”

“Iwantto,”shesaid,hereyeswatery.“Ithinkitwouldmakemefeelbetter.Mightmakeyoufeel

bettertoo.”

“Oritmightmakeusbothfeellikeshit.”

“Thatisalsoadistinctpossibility.”

“Okay,”Carolinesaidsoftly.“Butifyouneedtostop,youcan.Iwon’tholditagainstyou.”

Christinegrippedherhand.“Itwassnowingthatnight.Wechangedplansnumeroustimesafterwe

leftyourhouse.WeconsideredgoingthroughBuffalobutTomthoughtitbettertopickamoreobscure

outpostsowewouldn’tbesoconspicuous.Inhindsight,itmadeusbiggertargets.Butifwehadn’tgoneto

FortCovington,wewouldhavenevermadeitacrossifwehadtoleavethecar.Becauseofthewater,”

sheexplained.

Carolinelaughed.“I’msomewhatfamiliarwithAmericangeography.”

Christinesmiledwryly.“WhichborderdidyouandJackheadtoward?”

Shehadn’tlostherperceptiveness.“Buffalo.We’renotaslogicalasyou.”

“Ithadnothingtodowithme.Margueriterememberedthatpartofthestatefromsummercamp.You

canthankyourdaughterforthatchangeofplans.”

Maybeallthatdrivinghadpaidoff.“SoyouheadedtoupstateNewYork,”Carolinesaid.

“Wegottherelateonenight.Theoutpostisverysmall.WehadyourfakeIDs,theaccount

information,everythingyou’dgivenme.Jessandthegirlshadafewotheritemsintheirbackpacks,and

TomandJesshadconcealedthosegunsyougaveus.Butwedidn’twantanytrouble.We’dtakenafew

stepstodisguiseourselves,justenoughtomatchthoseoddpicturesyou’dputonthepassports.Whenthey

firsttookourdocumentsIthoughtthey’dletuspass.Ifweweren’tsoeasilyrecognizableitmighthave

worked.”

“Thosepassportsweren’tcheap,”Carolinesaid.

“Theyweregood.Theywouldhaveworkedforlowerprofilepeople,I’msureofit.”

“Ishouldn’thavemadeyoudoit.”

“Enoughofthat.I’vetoldyouhowIfeelaboutthatissueandyoukeepbringingitup.Letmefinish

mydamnstory.”

Yes,newChristinewasdefinitelywelcome.Carolinerestedherheadonhershoulder.“Goon,”she

whispered.

“Theguyattheboothsteppedintotheiroffice.Icouldseehimtalkingtoanotherman,pointing

towardus.OncehepulledashotgunoutofaclosetIknewwehadtobolt.Wegrabbedwhatwecouldand

startedrunningtowardtheforest.TheCanadianborderwasnearby;wejustweren’tsurewhere.”

“TomandJesswerebehindus,”Christinesaid.“Theywanted–theyhadtheguns,theytoldusto

keeprunning,nomatterwhat.Icouldhearvoicestellingustostop,butwedidn’tlisten.Weranpasta

clearingintothewoods.ThankGodI’dbeensmartenoughtowearbootsbutIstillhadthatstupid

cashmerecoatandscarfon.They’renotallthatpracticaltotraipsearoundinthesnow.Westarteddarting

inbetweenthetreesandIheardgunshots.Tomyelledatustokeeprunningbutthesnowwassodeepwe

weremostlydiggingourwaythrough.”Shetookadeepbreath,tryingtopaceherself.“Iheardgunfire,a

heavyexchange.Ineverknewwhatitsoundedlikebeforethat.Ihittheground,shieldingthegirls.Welay

inthesnowandlistened.TomandJesshadtohavebeenagoodfiftyfeetbehindus.Thenthegunfire

stoppedandIheardthesoundofmenretreating.”

CarolineputherarmsaroundChristine.Thatwasallshecoulddo.

“Idon’tknowwhytheypulledback,”Christinesaid.“Partofmethoughtitwasatricktodrawus

out.ButIcouldn’thelpmyself.Iwalkedbacktowardtheclearinganyway,hidingbehindthetrees.I

peekedoutandacoupleofmenwereontheground,yardsaway,notmoving.Therestmusthavegone

backtothepatroloffice.Maybetosearchourcar,maybebecausetheythoughtthey’dgottenusall,Idon’t

know.Itwasallsoconfusing.Blurry.AndthenIsawher.”

Carolineclosedhereyes.“Whodidyousee,Chrissy?”

“Mybabygirl,”shewhispered,andstartedtocry.

Jess.ThechildCarolinehadadorednearlyasmuchasherowndaughters.“Where?”sheasked

softly.

Christinegrabbedatissue.“Bythispinetree.Itwasthedamndestthing.Itwastallandgreenand

glorious.Shroudedinsnowbutsocleanandfresh.Majesticandbeautifulinthemiddleofthisdisgusting

bloodybattleground.She’dbeenshotintheheadandtheback.Throughandthrough.Shewasalready

dead.Icouldn’t–Ididn’tknowwhattodo.Myheartstopped.IcouldhearMaggieandSophcomingup

behindmeandItriedtoblocktheirview.Sophiestartedscreaming.Margueritecoveredhermouth,

tellinghertobequiet,thatthemenwouldcomeback.ItwaslikeIwasoutsidemyself,justfloatingaway.

IwastemptedtorunoutintotheclearingandmakemyselfatargetbutMarguerite’svoicebroughtme

backtoreality.”

“Oh,Chrissy.”

Christineletoutanothersob.“AndthenIheardhim.”

“Chrissy,youdon’thaveto-”

“Iwantto.”Hersorrowflaredtoanger.“Youneedtoknowthis.Youneedtoknowwhattheydidfor

us.”

Carolinecouldrespectthat.Ifshedealtwiththingsinherownway,shehadtoacknowledgewhen

Christineneededthesameconsideration.Catharsiswasnevereasy.“Okay.”

“Hewastryingtopullhimselfupagainstatree.”Christinestartedweepingagain.“He’dbeenshotin

theabdomen.Therewasbloodeverywhere.AndheknewaswellasIthat-”Sheblewhernose.“Iran

overtohim.Margueritewasbehindme.Idon’tknowwhereSophiewas.Itookmyscarfoffandpressed

ittothewoundbutitsoakedthroughalmostimmediately.Icouldn’tgetenoughpressuretoslowthe

bleedingdown.Margueritehandedmeherscarfbutthatwasjustasuseless.Itried.Myhandswere

shaking,theywerecoveredinblood,andTomkepttellingmetogo.Leavewiththegirls,runacrossthe

borderbeforethemencameback.ButIwasn’tlistening.Ikepttryingtostop–therewassomuchblood.”

Christinerestedherheadinherhands.Notweeping,notspeaking,notscreaming,notyelling.Just

agonizinglyquiet.Carolineheldher.Itwasn’therplacetosayadamnthing.Shejusthadtowaituntil

Chrissywasabletomovealong.ShewasstartingtorealizethatChristinehadbeentellingthetruth.She

reallyhadnevertalkedaboutthisbefore.Andthefirsttimewasalwaysthehardest.

Christinebroughtherheadup.“Finallyhegrabbedmycoat.Hewassoweak.Iknew-”Sheblewher

noseagain.“I’mgoingtorunoutoftissues,”shesaid.

“It’sokay,”Carolinesaid.“I’vebeenthere.”

“Ishouldhavetalkedtothegirlsaboutthis.”

“You’retalkingaboutitnow.Keepgoing,ifyoucan.”

Christinesmiledather.“Ireallyloveyou,Caroline.”

Thatdeservedanotherhug.Andakissonthecheek.“Iknow.”

Anotherdeepbreath.Anothertissue.“TherewasnothingmoreIcoulddo,”Christinesaidshakily.

“Tomclutchedmyhandandtoldmetorun,thatitwouldbeokaybecausehewaswithJess.Hesaidhe

knewhe’dseemeagain,becauseI’dalwaysbeenagoodCatholicgirlandI’dbegoingstraighttothetop

withoutanylayovers.”Sheshookherhead.“Thatobnoxiousman.Andthen,hewas–hefellasleep.”

CarolinekeptherarmsaroundChristine.“I’msosorry,Chrissy.Thisisallmyfault.”

Christinewriggledaway.“SaythatagainandIwillsmackyou.Imeanit.Weknewwhatwewere

doing.Wewerefullypreparedtodoanythingnecessarytokeepyourchildrensafe.”

“I’mnotworthyoffriendslikeyou.That’stoomuch.”

“Itisn’t.Nosacrificeistoogreatforlove.”

Affectioncouldwoundasmuchasitcouldheal.Shetrulydidn’tdeserveChristine.Buthellifshe

wasgoingtoeverlethergoagain.“Jessie,”Carolinewhispered,andcoveredherface.

Christinestartedcryingsoftly.“MargueriteandIstayedwithThomasforaminute.ShecouldtellI

was…notwell.Therestofthenightisratherfuzzy.Ijuststartedmovingrobotically.I’mnotsurewhat

keptmegoing.ButIknewDundeewasacrosstheborder.SophiewasstillsittinginthesnowbyJess.

She’dgivenherthathippo,wrappeditinherarms.Shesaid-”Christinegulped.“Shesaidshedidn’twant

Jesstogetlonely.Isnatchedherupandstarteddragginghertowardtheborder.Shewasscreaming,I

think.Itriedtoblockitout.WehadtheirbackpacksandwhatIhadhiddeninmycoat,sowehadlittleof

valuewithus.Maybesomefood,butnothingwecouldusetokeepourselvesaliveinthewoods.Our

windowofopportunitywasshort.Therewastoomuchblowingsnow,toogreatapossibilitythoseborder

agentswouldcomeafterusagain.Ican’tevenrememberhowwegottothepolicedepartment.Marguerite

saidIgrabbedalltheCanadiancurrencyoutofherbackpackandbribedsometruckdriver.I’msurprised

hepickedusup.Iwascoveredinbloodandthethreeofusmusthavelookedlikehell.”

“Whenwegottothepolicestation,theycalledforadoctortomakesurewewereokay.Theycalled

thechiefin,whichIguessisn’tabigdealbecauseDundeeisprettysmall.OncehegotthereIsomehow

foundmyselfanddemandedtospeakwiththeRoyalCanadianMountedPolice.FromwhatMarguerite

tellsme,Iwasasighttobehold,becauseitwasenoughtogetusinasquadcarheadedforthePrime

Minister’sresidence.”

“Inthemiddleofthenight?”Carolineasked.

“Yes.”

Dundeewaseasily200kilometersfromOttawa.“That’sprettyfar.”

“Thedriveisevenlongerwhenyou’reinshock.TheywokethePrimeMinisterupinthemiddleof

thenightandbrokeanynumberofCanadiantrafficlawstogetusthere.Iassumetheywantedtogetus

awayfromtheborderasquicklyaspossible.Imighthavestrong-armedDenisintoputtingusintowitness

protection,butwhateverIsaidworked.”

“Mychildrenhavetheprotectionofanentirecountrybecauseofyou?”

Christineshrugged.“Iguessso.”

“Well,”Carolinesaid.“That’sprettyflattering.”

“I’dprefertothinkit’sareflectionofmyamazingnegotiatingtactics.Iwouldn’tinterpretitas

anythingelse.”

CarolinefrownedatChristine.“Youarenotfunny.”

Christinetearedupagain.“IfIdonotlaughIwillquiteliterallycry.”

Wasn’tthattrueforeveryone.She’dearnedanotherhug.“ThePrimeMinisterlearnedprettyquickly

nottofuckwithyou,”Carolinesaid.

“Youcanimaginehowenthusiasticheistodealwithmeonaregularbasis.”

Shecouldhugandthankandkissandjokebutitwouldneverbeenough.Carolinelookeddownather

hands.“IwantyoutoknowhowmuchIlovedTomandJess.Inever–Iwouldn’thaveaskedyoutodo

thisifIthoughttherewasanychanceyouwouldn’tmakeit.”

Christinekissedherforehead.“Youhavetostopapologizing,Caroline.Iwoulddoanythingforyou.

Youknowthat.TomandJessweremorethanwillingtodowhatittooktogettherestofustosafety.”

Jesus.TherehadneverbeenanyquestionaboutthecourageoftheSullivanfamily,butnowtheyhad

concreteproof.Howpreciousathingtoknowthatsomeonewouldbewillingtoliterallylaydowntheir

lifeforyou.Thatwaslove.Deep,abidinglove.“Thethreeofyouareamazing,”Carolinesaid.“Just

amazing.”

“Thetwoofthem,”Christinecorrected.“Ijustfollowedtheirlead.AndImissthem.Somuch.It’s

likethere’sthisholeinmyheartthatcanneverberepaired.IwishIwouldhavetoldthemIlovedthem

moreoften.Ineversaidthatenough.Tothem,orSusannah,oryou.”

“Weallknewhowyoufelt.Althoughit’snicetoheariteveryonceinawhile.”Carolinelethergaze

drifttowardthedoor.Howcouldshehaveforgotten?“Chrissy,I,uh,havesomethingyoumightwant.”

“Anotherhug?”

Humor.Amuchbetterdefensemechanismthanthealternative.“No,”Carolinesaid,andleanedinfor

oneanyway.“Holdon.”

ShedidherbestnottodisturbJack.Sherummagedthroughherknapsackuntilshefoundthewatch,

shovingitinherpocket.Christinehadalreadyturneddownthebedwhenshereturned,butCarolinegot

thesensetheyweren’tgoingtosleepjustyet.Whatwasthebestwaytodoit?Handitovercasually?

Makeapresentationoutofit?Shedidn’twanttosetChrissyoffagain.

“It’ssomethingthat’simportanttoyou,”Carolinesaidsoftly.“Ijustwanttomakesureitwon’tupset

you.”

“We’refarpastpreventingouremotionsfrombubblingover.”Christinehuggedapillowtoherchest.

“Bestgetitoverwith.”

Carolinetookthewatchoutofherpocket,placingitonthebednexttoChristine.“Itookthiswithme

toTheHague.Asagoodluckcharm,atalisman,Idon’tknow.Ithelpedmegetthrough.”

Christineturneditover,coveringhermouthasshereadtheinscription.“Howonearthdidyouget

this?”

“It’salongstory.”Thatendswithmekickingaguyintheballs.

“WhyamInotsurprised?”

ShecouldgiveChrissytheshortversion.“Oneofmy…interrogators.Adoubleagent.Turnedrebel

spybutdidn’tbothertellingusheusedtotorturefolksatTheFed.HekeptTom’swatchandgaveittome

beforeweturnedhimovertointernationalauthorities.”

Christinerolledthewatchinherhands.“Ihaveafeelingyourstoriesaregoingtotakealotlonger

thanjustonenight.”

Shewaseerilycalm.Thewayshewouldhaveacted…before.Wasthatagoodsign?“Areyou

okay?”Carolineasked.

“No.”Christinechokedbackasob.“Butthismakesmefeelbetter.”Shepressedthewatchtoher

nosebeforerubbingitagainsthercheek.Astrangeritual,butCarolinewasn’tonetoquestion.Ifitlether

feelclosertoherdeceasedhusband,itwasworthdoing.“IrememberwhenIgavethistohim,”shesaid.

“He’dwantyoutohaveit.”

“Iknow.”Christineleanedoverforanotherhug.“Thankyouforgivingittome.I’mgladithelped

you.”

“Ihopeithelpsyoutoo.”

Christineslidthenightstanddraweropen,carefullyplacingthewatchinside.“Well,”shesaid.“Nice

weatherwe’rehaving.”

Atonofsnowanditwascolderthanhell,buthercircumventionwasdulynoted.“Thisallseems

verysurreal.”

“Maybeweshouldgetbacktomystory.”

Shedidn’tsoundallthatenthusiasticaboutit.“Areyousure?”Carolineasked.

“Yeah.”Sheclutchedthepillowagain.“Itwashard.WhenweleftyouandJack.Sophiecriedfor

hoursinthecar.ItriedtokeepittogetherthebestIcould.SodidTom.JessandMargueritewere

doggedlystoic.I’veneverseenanythinglikeit.Youhaveanextremelytoughdaughter.”

“Godknowshowsheturnedoutthatway.I’matotalcrybaby.”

Christinegaveherahardlook.“Youknowdamnwellwhereshegetsitfrom.”Shegesturedat

Caroline’swrists.“Youwouldn’tbesittingherenowifyoudidn’thaveitinyoutoo.”

“Sophie’shadaroughtime.Icantell.”

“Shehas.Andshe’sawonderfulgirl.She’sjustsensitivesometimes.”

Herchildrenhadsufferedbuttheyhadsurvived.Maybeeventhrived,intheirhappiermoments.

“You’vedonesuchanincrediblejob,Chrissy.I’llneverbeabletorepaythisdebt.”

“Idon’texpectyouto.”

Carolinerubbedherwrists.“Thesearen’ttheonlyscarsIhave,”shewhispered.“I’mabigol’

bundleofthem.Emotionalandphysical.”

“Theydon’thavetodictateyourlife.They’reareminderthatyou’rebetterthanthosebastardswho

gavethemtoyou.”

Howperceptive.“Jacksaidalmostexactlythesamething.”

“IsthereanywaywecansayIthoughtofitfirst?”

Christinefeltcomfortable.Relaxed.IfCarolinecouldtellthetruth,shecouldshowitaswell.“This

wasalittlepresentfromJeffrey,”shesaid,liftinguphershirt.“RightbeforeIgotout.Thiswashowhe

wantedmetodie.”

Christineblanched.“Thatlookslikeitwasstitchedbyafiveyearold.”

“Oh,thatwasCrunch,”Carolinesaidabsently.“D.C.wasinthemiddleofabrownout,sohehadto

doitinthebasementofthesafehousewewerestayinginwithsomethreadandaneedle.Alltheyhad

wasaflashlight.”

Christinesprangupandranintothebathroom,slammingthedoorbehindher.Carolinecouldhearher

retching,thenatoiletflushandwaterrunning.

“Chrissy,”shecalled,knockingonthedoor.“Areyouokay?”

Christineemergedafewminuteslater.Thehairaroundherfacewasdamp,andshestilllookeda

littleill.Sheslumpedontothebed.“Youcan’tsaythingslikethattome.Especiallythewayyousayit,

likeit’snothingunusual.”

“It’sthetruth,”Carolinesaid,inthematteroffacttonethatshewassurewasannoyingthehelloutof

Christine.“Iwasn’tconsciouswhilehewasdoingit,anyway.”

“Maybeyoushouldhaveledwiththat.”ChristinewrappedherarmaroundCaroline.“Notthatit

makesanydifference.Oh,Punky.”

“Yousaidyouwantedtoknowwhathappened.Don’tactlikeyoudidn’tsuspectitwascompletely

horrific.”

“Ican’tbelieveIletthatpieceofshitMurdockcomfortme.Comfortyourchildren.I’msorry,”

Christinesaid.“It’snotfairformetobeupset,either.Youexperiencedthis.Ijusthavetohearaboutit.”

Whichwasitsownuniquepain,onethatdeservedacknowledgment.“Youhadnowayofknowing

whohewas.Idon’tthinkanyofusthoughthewascapableofwhathehelpeddotome.Andhe’llget

what’scomingtohim.”

“Hedamnwellbetter.”Christineyawned.“Canwegotosleep?”

Suchaninnocentrequest.“It’sbeenalongday.”

“Yes.Yes,ithas.”

Carolinepattedthebedspread.“I,uh,don’tsleepverywell.”

“NeitherdoI.”

“Ihavenightmares.”

“Metoo.”

“Isayrandomthingsoccasionally.IalsohavethisweirdlegthingwhereIkicksometimes.”

“Areyoutryingtoreassureorwarn?”

“Both.”

“Idonotdoeitherofthosethings.Youwin.”ChristinegaveCarolineanotherhug.“IsuspectI’ll

sleepbetterthanIhaveinyears.”

Carolinefluffedthepillows.“You’reprobablyright.”

ChapterFourteen

Christinemadethemapassablebreakfastthenextmorning.She’dsleptfairlywellasfarasCaroline

couldtell,butstilljumpedwhenthedoorbellrang.

“Rightontime,”Carolinesaid.“It’sokay,Chrissy.Justourbodyguards.”

Jackglancedatthekitchenclock.“Itoldthemtobehereatninethirty.”

“Iaskedthemtostopsomewherefirst.”Carolineopenedthedoor.“Hi,guys.”

Thethreemenhustledinsidequickly.“Sir,”Gigsaid,astheysalutedJackinturn.

“Goodmorning,gentlemen,”hesaid.

“Howcomeyouhardlyeversalutemelikethat?”Carolineasked.

Crunchthrewhisarmaroundher.“Weknowyouwon’tgetpissyoverit.”

“Andyou’resomuchnicerthanhim,”saidJones.“Wedon’twanttoruinyourreputationbygiving

youabighead.”

GiggaveCarolineapatontheshoulder.“ThoseMountiesareanintensebunch.Theytookourguns.

Canyoumakeacall?We’renotverycapablebodyguardswithoutthem.”

“I’monit,”Christinesaid,andheadedtowardherbedroom.

CrunchgaveCarolineapeckonthecheek.“Wegotthatthingyouwanted.ImadeJonesiedoit.”

Jonessetaplasticbagdownonthecoffeetable.“Youknowwhatit’slikewhenIwalkintoa

drugstoreandbuywhiteladyshit?Somestrangelooks.You’reluckyIlikeyou,Princess.”

Margueritelaughed.“Youcallmymother‘Princess’?”

“It’salongstory,”Carolinesaid.“Watchyourlanguage,Jonesie.We’restilloperatingunderthe

assumptionthatmydaughtersarediffidentanddemure.”

“It’snotalongstory,”Crunchinsisted.“Icantellitinaboutthirtyseconds.”

“What’sinthebag?”Sophieasked.

Carolinehandedittoher.“Openitup.”

Sophielookedinsidethebag.“Hairdye?”

“Feltlikeitwastime.SoonthewholeworldisgoingtoknowI’malive.”

“DoIgettohelp?”

Heryoungestdaughtersoundedsoeager.“Absolutely.Hopefullywecanfindatowelthatdidn’tcost

AuntChrissyeleventybillionCanadiantaxpayerdollars.”

Christinecamebackintothelivingroom.“Youmayretrieveyourweaponsatanytime.TheMounties

knowyou’reallowedtokeepthemwheneveryou’reinthisbuilding.”SheglancedatJackandCaroline.

“Ialsoletthemknowyouwerecarryingfirearmsaswell.Toremindthemthatperhapstheyshoulddoa

betterjobofvettingvisitors.”

“We’reprettydangerous,”Carolinesaid.

“I’veseenherinthefield,”Crunchsaid.

Joneslaughed.“I’veseenhermakeawickedshank.”

Shecouldprobablycarvetheendofatoothbrushintoapointifshewasdeterminedenough.“No,you

haven’t.”

Gigshookhisheadather.“Idoubtyouneedourprotectionatall.”

“You’llnoticenoneofthemmentionedyou,Jack.”Carolinewinkedathim.

“Likelybecausethey’veneverseenmedoanythinguntoward.Whatdoyouthinkthatsaysabout

you?”

“ThatI’mfun?”sheasked.

“Ifeelmuchmorecomfortableknowingyou’rehere,”ChristinesaidtoGig.“Regardlessof

CommanderGerard’scavalierattitude.”

“Thankyou,ma’am,”Gigsaid.

Sheextendedherhand.“I’mChristineSullivan.”

Heshookit.“Iknow.StevenGigowski.IusuallygobyGig.Verynicetomeetyou,finally.”

“GigusedtobeacopinChicago,”Carolinesaid.

“Thatmustcomeinhandy,”Christinesaid.

CarolinepunchedGigonthearm.“Wetalkaboutpizzaalot.”

CrunchcameoverandshookChristine’shand.“SebastianRodriguez,”hesaid.“Butpleasecallme

Crunch.YouusedtobringyoursuitstobetailoredattheplaceIworkedatonKStreet.Itwasalwaysa

pleasureworkingwithyou.”

“You’reaterribleliar,Mr.Rodriguez.Iwasneverallthatnicetoservicepeople.”

“Well,Iwasusuallyintheback.Somyopinionisn’tbasedonpersonalinteractions.”

Christinesmiledcagily.“Verydiplomatic.”

JonescameovertoChristineandgaveherabearhug.Whenheletgoofher,shelookedmystified.

Carolinepattedhisshoulder.“You’regoingtoscareher,Jonesie.”

“What,she’sneverbeenhuggedbyablackdudebefore?”

“That’snotwhatImeant.Youmightwanttobeslightlymoredetachedwithpeopleyoujustmeet.

Particularlysinceyou’reabadassrebelsoldier.”

“Shelookedlikesheneededahug.Especiallyifshe’sbeencoopedupwithyouforthepast24

hours,”hesaid,holdinghishandouttoChristine,whostillappearedbaffled.“I’mMarcusJones,butmy

friendscallmeJonesie.”

“Doyouallhavenicknames?”Christineasked,smoothingherblouse.

“It’seasierthatway,”Carolinesaid.

“Sowhat’syourstory,Mr.Jones?”

“CommanderGerardsentmetoprisonwhenIwasateenager.IhadagunwhenIshouldn’thave.”

“Isee.Howinteresting.”Christine’sexpressionchanged.“Whichofthethreeofyouhelpedget

Carolineoutofthat….place?”

“ThatwasCrunchandJonesie,”Gigsaid.“Ididn’tmeetupwiththemuntillater.”

“Well.”ChristinegaveCrunchandJoneshugs.“Thankyouverymuch,”shesaidsoftly.Sheturnedto

Gigandgavehimahugtoo.“Andthankyoufordoingwhateveritisyou’vebeendoing,Mr.Gigowski.”

“I’mtheeyecandy,”hesaid,andChristinelaughed.

“See?”Jonessaid.“She’swarmingupalready.”

“Youcansmackhimifyouwant,”Carolinesaid.“He’snotarmed.I’lldefendyou.”

Jonesmimickedaboxingstance.“Youlovemypersonality.Andmystyle.”

“Indeedwedo,”Jacksaidsmoothly.“Wouldyouliketomeetourchildren?ThisisSophieand

Marguerite.”

Thegirlsstooduptogreetthem,andtoCaroline’ssurprise,theyhuggedthemenaswell.

“Thankyoufortakingcareofmymom,”Sophiesaidsoftly.

MargueritepointedatJones.“Didmymotherreallyprosecuteyou?”

JonesthrewhisarmaroundCaroline.“Yeah,butshehelpedmegetapardonafter.Sowe’regood.”

“What’sthegameplan?”Gigasked.“Imean,afterGerardpullsaMissClairol.”

Jackturnedtothegirls.“Canyougiveusafewminutes?”

Margueritedidn’tlooktoopleasedaboutthatatall.Carolinepattedhershoulder.“We’llexplain

later.”

“But-”

“Go,”Carolinesaidfirmly.

“Fine,”Margueritegrumbled.“Let’sgo,Soph.Iknowhowtolistenthroughthewalls.”

They’dknoweverythingsoonenough.Buttheydidn’tneedtoknowitnow.“Don’tyoudare.”

CarolineturnedtoChristineafterthey’dleft.“Canyoureallyhearthroughthewalls?”

“She’sbluffing.”

“Itdoesn’tmattermuch,”Jacksaid.“We’regoingthroughthegameplanfortomorrow,whichthey’ll

eventuallyknowanyway.”

“Iwanttobeabletospeakfreely,”Carolinesaid.“Theguysneedtoknowtheentireplan.Thegirls

don’tneedtoworryaboutMurdock.They’vehadenoughthrownatthemasitis.”

“Murdock?”Jonesloweredhisvoice.“Isthatfuckerhere?”

“He’ssomewhere,”Carolinesaid.“Chrissy’sgoingtotrickhimintocomingforavisit.”

ChristinetookaseatonthecouchnexttoCaroline.“WhatexactlyamIsupposedtodo?”

“Don’tyouhavemeetingsorsomething?”

“He’sneverbeentoanyofthem.”

Ofcourse.He’dwanttohide.Notcallattentiontohimself.EverytimehemetwithChristineandthe

otherswasanotheropportunityforthemtocatchhiminalie.“Enticehimintoattending,”Carolinesaid.

“Doesheknowyoutalkedtothepress?”

“HeandIdon’tchat,Punky.Atall.”

Christinestilllookedalittleill.Carolinepattedherarm.“Iknow.Goaheadandmisleadhimalittle.

Saythatyou’rethinkingaboutgoingpublic.Thatyouwanteveryoneonboard.Playonhisvanity.You

knowhe’djumpatthechancetogainsomeundeservedglory.”

Jackclenchedhisfist.“Idon’twantyoualonewithhim.Isthatunderstood?”

“I’mnotsureyoushouldbealonewithhim,either,”Carolinesaid.

“Givemefiveminutesandwewon’thavetoworryabouttransporttoTheHague.”

“I’mallrightwiththat,”Jonessaid.

Carolineliftedherhands.“Wearegoingtodothisprofessionally.Wewillletjusticerunitscourse.

Ifheresistsarrest,theMountieswillactaccordingly.”

Crunchlaughed.“Theunexpectedvoiceofreason.”

Sheheldupherhands.“Stop.YouknowI’dexactmyownformofrevengeifgiventhechance.But

wecan’tgiveintothoseimpulses.Wehavetoriseabovethefray,nomatterhowharditis.”

Christineretrievedherphonefromherpurse.“Fine.I’llgivehimacall.I’llfindsomewaytogethim

here.Then…we’lltakethefirststepinrightingthewrongs.”

“Heboughtit,”shesaid.“Tomorrowmorning,teno’clock.Meetingwithallthemajorplayers.Itold

himmediawouldbepresent.”

Thatcouldn’thavebeenaneasyphonecall.Carolinehadofferedtobeintheroomwithher,but

Christineinsistedshehadtomakeitherself.“Shouldweinviteanyoneelsetosellthescam?”

“Depends,”Christinesaid.“Doyouwantanaudience?”

Jackshookhishead.“Wecanalwaysmeetwithsomeoftheotherslater.Let’skeepitaslowkeyas

possible.”

Christineclaspedherhandstogether.“Withthattakencareof,Isuggestweenjoytherestofourday.I

believeCarolinehasanappointmentatSophie’smakeshiftsalon.”

Distractionswerewelcome.CarolinehaddoneherbesttofollowNatalie’sadviceduringhertime

awayfromCalifornia.Tothinkaboutthevariousissuesswirlingaroundinhermindwoulddoomherto

despair.Soshechosetofocusonthepositive.Thosetinybitsoflightwereenoughtobreakthrough

whateverdarknesswouldcome.

MargueritebeggedtohelpbutSophiewasadamant,rightlyobservingthatshegotherturnwith

cookiebaking.Carolinewouldhavetomakesuretopayequalattentiontobothofthem.Sophiehelped

mixthedyeandapplyittoherhair,andtheybothprayeditwouldtake.Crunchwarnedtherewasa

chanceshe’dendupwithanunsightlyshadeoforangeinsteadofauburn.Afinalrinse,ahastycleanup,

andonlyonetowelascasualty.Carolineavoidedcheckingonherstatustheentiretime,knowingnothing

mattereduntilthedyeset.

“DoIlooklikeacarrot?”sheasked.

Sophiegotafreshtowel.“It’sperfect.Wow.”

Sheglancedinthemirror.Notquitethesamebutdamnclose.Joneshadchosenwell.Shelooked

almost…normal.

Herdaughterleanedinforahug.“It’sokay,mom.”

Carolinewipedhereyes.“Prettysillytogetemotionaloverhair.”

“Howlongdidyoukeepitblond?”

“Maybeeighteenmonths?I’mnotgoodwithtimeanymore.”

“Youcanbarelytell.It’sincredible.Iswear.”

Carolinedriedherhairwiththetowel.“Ididn’texpectit.Feelsweird.”

“Nah.”Sophiegrabbedabrush.“Feelsawesome.Letmefixthisupandwe’llgiveeveryoneinthe

livingroomabigsurprise.”

“Areyoudoneyet?”Margueritecalled.“We’realmostoutofcookies.”

They’dfoundawaytoentertainthemselveswhileCarolineandSophiewereoccupied.“Didn’tknow

thiswasgoingtobeabeautypageant,”Carolinesaid.

Sophiethrewthetoweloverherhead.“Comeon.Havefunwithit.”

“Fine.I’llindulgeyou.”Carolinedecidedtomakeitashadedramatic,sweepingherwaythroughthe

bathroomdoor.

“Well?”Jackasked.

Sophiecrossedherarms.“Doyoulikeclownhair?I’mjustasking.”

“It’snotexactlythesame,”Carolinesaid.

“Isitorange?”JackshotCrunchalook.“Whatdowedoifit’sorange?”

Crunchhelduphishands.“HellifIknow.Iwastalkingoutofmyass.”

“Fooledyou.”SophieyankedthetoweloffCaroline’shead.“Checkitout.”

“Excuseusaminute,”Jacksaid,grabbingCarolineandpushingherintothebathroom.Heshutthe

doorbehindthem.Hislipswereonhersinstantly,kissingherhardenoughthatshelosthertrainof

thought.

“Whatwasthatfor?”shewhispered.

“Youjust–that’sincredible,sweetheart.Youlookincredible.”

“You’rereallyobsessedwithmyhair,aren’tyou?It’sunhealthy.”

Jackleanedintokissheragain.“No,it’snot.”Heranhisfingersthroughherhair.“Thisisfucking

amazing.”

Carolinegiggledashebitherneckandpepperedherwithkisses,untilsheheardaknockatthedoor.

“Youtwobetternotbehavingsexinmybathroom,”Christinesaidloudly.

Herhusbandwastryingtorunhishanduphershirt.Itwasforeverdistracting.“We’refine,Chrissy.

It’lljustbeaminute.”

Jackkissedher,smilingagainstherlips.“Wecoulddoit.Justtopissheroff.”

“Showalittlerespect.Andself-control.”

“Fiveminutes.I’llmakeitcount.”

“PerhapsIshouldcutoffalockofhairforyoutocuddleatnight?”

Heopenedadrawerinthevanity.“Aretherescissorsinhere?”

“Notfunny.”Shekissedhimlightly.“Doyoureallylikeit?”

Hetwirledadampcurlaroundhisfinger.“Obviously.”Jackloweredhisvoice.“Wemayhaveto

reenactthatdreamyouhadonthewaytoTheHague.Iwanttodosordid,sleazythingstoyourightnow.”

“Youhavetowaituntilwegetbacktothebase,Ithink.”

Hesqueezedherass.“Givesmetimetoplan.”

Didn’tthatsounddelicious.“We’dbettergetoutofherebeforeChrissybreaksthedoordown.”

“Fine.”Hepulledherintothelivingroom.“Yourbathroomremainsundefiled,Christine.Muchtomy

dismay,Imightadd.”

Christineappearedlessthanpleasedathisdisclosure.“Well?”

CarolinelaughedagainasJacknuzzledherhair.“He,um,reallylikesthecolor.”

Anunmistakableeyeroll.Butahintofamusement.“Icantell.”

JackwrappedbothhandsaroundCaroline’swaist,turningtoChristine.“Areweallowedtouseyour

bedroom?”

Christineglowered.“Youarenot.”

CarolinefrownedatJack.“Really,darling.Ourchildrenarepresent.”

“IfIsayIforgot,doesthatsoundevenremotelyplausible?”

“No,”Christinesaidtartly.

“Whataboutthekitchen?”Hiseyesdartedbackandforth.“Huh,nodoor.Doesanyonecare?Wecan

gounderthetable.”

Christinepointedafingerathim,perchingprecariouslybetweenfrustratedangerandtheatrical

delight.“McIntyre,youaretestingmypatience.Severely.”

MargueriteandSophiewerebothtryingfranticallynottomakeeyecontactwithanyofthem.Crunch,

Gig,andJonespretendedtobeengagedinarousinggameofpoker.Carolinehungthetowelaroundher

neck.“Seewhatyoudid,Jack?Youstunnedtheentireroomintoawkwardsilence.”

Margueritestartedlaughing.“Likewehaven’tseenthetwoofyoumakingoutbefore.”

“Isureashelldon’twanttoseeit,”Christinesnapped.

Carolineextricatedherselffromherhusband’sembracetogiveherbestfriendahug.“He’sjust

havingalittlefunatyourexpense.”

“Don’tthinkIdidn’tnotice.”ShegaveCarolineacriticallook.“Itdoeslookprettygood.”

“Oh,fantastic,”Carolinesaid,smilingather.“Iwasseekingyourapproval.”

Christinecuffedheronthearm.“Benicetome.Youcanbeassnarkyasyouwanttomorrow

morning.”

ChapterFifteen

Murdock.Conferenceroom.Inunderanhour.Carolinehadn’teaten,tooagitatedtofocus.She’dbeen

raidingChristine’sclosettofindsomethingsuitablyappropriatefortheoccasion.ShefiguredChrissy

wouldbeabletooutfitherinsomethingstridentlybitchyandwellcut.

“Ican’tbelievethissuitfitsme,”shesaid.

Christinehadselectedamutedgreenpantsuitforherself.Veryspringlike.“Idon’tunderstandwhy

youcouldn’twearoneofyourown.”

“Ionlyhaveacouple.Igetbored.”Carolinespunaround.“Thisissomuchnicerthananyofmine.

Andtheskirthitsmykneeatjusttherightspot.”

“Youdon’tgettokeepit.”

“Whynot?”

“Becauseyou’regoingtogettoaproperweightsoitdoesn’tfitanymore.”

Christinewasdoingherdamndesttodistractthembothfromwhatwasabouttotakeplace.“Youthink

I’mtooskinny?”Carolineasked.

“Yes,”shesaid,tuckinginherblouse.“Youneedtogainatleastfifteenpounds.Howmuchdoyou

weigh?”

Carolinehadneverbeenclosepersonalfriendswiththescale.“Idon’tknow.”

“Ofcourseyouknow.Don’tbullshitme.”

Shecouldthrowanumberoutthere.Maybethatwouldpassmuster.“Onefifteen?”

Christineshookherhead.

Well,shit.“It’swithintheproperrangeformyheight.”

“No,it’snot.It’snotevenatthelowend.Especiallywithyourbonestructure.”

Goddammit.Whatatimeforhertoplaydoctor.“AreyousayingI’mbigboned?”Carolineasked.

“Sortof.Atleastamediumframe.”

“Isn’tthatskinnypersoncodeforfat?”

“No,”Christinesaidcalmly.“It’scodeforyouneedtogainweight.”

KudostoChristineforholdinghertemper,butCarolinewasgoingtopushitalittleanyway.“Isthat

yourprofessionalopinion?”

Thatdrewafamiliarexasperatedsigh.“Caroline,youknowyou’reunderweight.”

“Idon’treallyneedyoucallingattentiontoit.Andthesuitfitsyoujustfine.”

“I’mthreeinchesshorterthanyouandcouldprobablystandtogainafewpoundsmyself.Howmuch

didyouweighbefore?”

Shesmoothedoutherskirt.“I’mnottellingyouthat.”

“Youdon’teatverymuch.”

“Areyouanutritionist,too?”

“Youdon’tgettokeepthesuit.”

“Youdon’tgettochangethesubject.”Carolineslippedthejacketoffandslungitoverherelbow.No

senseinfinishingofftheoutfituntiltheywerereadytoheaddownstairs.“I’mkeepingthis.I’llsneakit

intomyluggagewhenyou’renotlooking.”

“TryitandI’mstealingallyourshoes.Includingthosewretchedblackbootsyouwearwithyour

jeans.”

“Mycombatboots?Thosearemybabies.”

“They’reunattractive,Caroline.”

ItwasfuntryingtoaggravateChristine.Itwaseasy,andsheappearedtobetakingitinstride.“Imay

wearthemthismorning.Foreffect.”

“I’mwalkingawaynow.You’remakingmybloodpressurerise.”

“Yousaiditwastoolowanyway.Maybethatwillhelp.Wedon’twantyoupassingoutinfrontof

Jeffrey.”

“Thereisverylittlechanceofthathappening,”Christinesaid.“I’dliketokeepitmanageableuntil

wegetdownthere.Mytemperisboundtoflare.”

Aswashers.“WemayneedtohaveMountiesassignedtopreventusallfromengaginginviolence.”

Christinespritzedsomeperfume,dabbingherwrists.“I’mgoingoutintothelivingroom.Pleasedo

notjoinmeuntilyou’rereadytobealady.”

Atotallyemptythreat.“Pfft.You’llbeback.”

SheturnedtofaceCarolineasshebackedoutoftheroom.“Probably.”

“You’dbetterhaveaplateofcookies,”Carolinecalled.

Christineshoutedatherfromthekitchen.“Andyou’dbettereatthemall.”

Thegirlsweretostayupstairs.ChristinehadarrangedtomeetMurdockinoneoftheconference

roomsonthefirstfloor.BourgeoisandMoutonwouldbethere,alongwithJones,Crunch,Gig,and

severalothermembersoflawenforcement.Ithadtakensomesmoothtalking,somelegalese,andabitof

verbaljudofromJacktogettheMountiestoagreetoletthemallstayintheroom.Yes,therewererisks.

Yes,itwasagainstprotocol.ButCarolinewouldbedamnedifshewouldwastetheopportunityto

confronthertorturer.Shemightnevergetanotherchance.

“Here’stheplan,”Moutonsaid.“SenatorSullivancomeswithustothefronthalltowaitforMr.

Murdock.Thetwoofyoustaywiththeotherofficers.He’llbetakenintocustodyassoonasheentersthe

room.”Shepaused.“We’redoingyouacourtesyhere.Weshouldjustarresthimwhenhewalksinthe

door.”

Christinemusthavehadcachetwiththem,aswellasthePrimeMinister.Theycertainlydidn’towe

CarolineandJackanything.“Thankyou,”Carolinesaidsoftly.

MoutonturnedtoJack.“Sir,willyoubeabletocontrolyourself?”

Hescowled.“Iknowyou’rekidding,butshouldn’tyoubeaskingmywifethesamething?”

“You’rethemostlikelytododamage,”Bourgeoispointedout.

Joneslaughed.“Man,youneversawCommanderGerardfight.She’srelentless.”

“It’llbefine,”Christinesaid.“Carolineknowshowtorestrainherself.”

Sure.Totally.Completely.Anytime.Shewasn’tabouttomakeanypromises.“OfcourseIcan.We

canallholdourtempers.Right?”

Jacksqueezedherhand.“Ofcourse.”

Moutoncheckedherwatch.“Theo,let’sheadupfrontwiththesenator.Behavewhilewe’regone.”

Gigshookhisheadwhentheyleft.“Idon’tknowaboutthis.”

“Aboutthemorus?”Carolineasked.

Hecheckedhisgun.TheirbodyguardsandtheMountieswerecarryingrifles.Theydidn’tthink

CarolineandJackshouldbearmed.Forshame.

“You,”hesaid.“I’mallforvictims’rightsbutareyousureyouwanttodothis?”

Herheartwasbeatingtoofastandshecouldfeeltheanxietycomingonbuthellifshewasgoingto

walkawaynow.“Igottasaymypiece.”

“Ihaveafewchoicewordsforhimaswell,”Jacksaid.

“Yes,sir.”Gigstraightened.“That’swhatI’mafraidof.Idon’twanttohavetointervene.”

“Youwon’t,”Jacksaidsmoothly.“It’llallgodownfast.Stayonyourgameandwe’llbefine.”

Crunchpeeredthroughtheopendoor.“They’recoming.Takeyourpositions.”

Jones,Crunch,andGigsituatedthemselvesbehindCarolineandJack.TwoMountieswaitedon

eithersideofthedoor.Anotherthreewerepositionedafewfeetaway,theirgunsalreadydrawn.

“I’veneverbeensearchedbefore.What’sgoingon?”

Murdock.Thatvoice.Sicklysadisticwithanairofentitlement.Thebilerose.Carolineballedher

fists.Paybackwasgoingtobeabitch.

She’dbarelyslept.Hernewnormal.Carolinewouldhaveabriefrespite,anescapeintothepast,

somethingtoremindherofwhatsheusedtohave,thenwakeupinasweatyterror.Exceptnowshewas

inevenmorepain.Itwasdarkbutshecouldseehermisshapenlefthand.Feeltheswollen,tender

flesh.Woulditeverbethesame?Diditmatter?WouldMurdockmakegoodonhispromisefromthe

daybefore?Whyhadn’tsomeonesteppedin?Stoppedhim?

Therulesnolongerapplied.Theyneverdidifnoonewastheretoenforcethem.

Disturbinghoweasyitwastodisregardnorms.ToabandontheRuleofLaw.Almost250yearsofa

weatheredpieceofparchmentprovidingablueprinttofollowandasinglemanandhisminionscould

destroyitindays.Democracy,anobleconcept,wasonlyasstrongasthepeoplewhobelievedinit.

Themostidealisticsystemsfunctionedatthemercyofthecitizenry,dependentontheinherent

goodnessofhumanityinordertothrive.

Murdockhadnogoodnessandcertainlynohumanity.Neitherdidherguards.Theagentswhohad

interrogatedhermayhavestoodupfortruthandjusticeoncebutnowthelineswereblurred.

Whenthelightsflickeredonsheknewthedrill.Shesatup,cradlingherlefthandatherside.Like

apuffy,repulsivepenguinfin.Completelyuseless.Whatwouldshedoiftheytookawaybothhands?

Useherfeet?Herteeth?Herelbows?Herwitswerefading;shesureashellcouldn’tusethose.She

hadnoaceuphersleeve.Andshe’dalwayssuckedatcardsanyway.

Fischerstormedinsidethecell.“Upwego,”hesaid.Powellwasrightbehindhim.Ofcourse.

Couldn’tfunctionwithouthisnewrighthandman.

Maybeherwitsweren’tcompletelygone.“WhatifIdon’twanna?”shesaid.

Powelllaughed.“Toldyoushe’dmouthoff.Youowemeafiver.”

Fischeryankedherupbyherbadhand.Bastard.Sheyelped,unabletosuppressthepainradiating

throughherarm.“Idon’toweyoushit,”hesaid.“Look,Imadehercryalready.”

Carolinetookadeepbreath.“Doesthatmakeyoufeellikeabigman?”sheasked,gratefulher

voicedidn’tshake.“Howaboutwesmashyourhandwithahammerandseehowyoureact?Ibetyou’d

crylikeagoddamnbaby.”

Powellsnorted.“She’sgotyouthere.”

Fischerintentionallyrammedherintothedoorastheyenteredthehall.She’ddefinitelyhita

nerve.“Fuckyouboth.”

StupidPowell.Hewasnohelp.Likehewasherfuckingfriend.HewasgoadingFischer,ragging

onhimsohe’dbeworseonher.Asshole.Thetwoguardswereinpracticallychirpymoods.They

couldn’twaitfortheirbosstotakehissicklittlefantasiesoutonher.

Murdockwasalreadyintheinterrogationroomwhentheygotthere,hammerinhand.Fuck.He’d

beenserious.Hegaveherhissignatureunsettling,creepysmile.“Sleepwell?”

Heknewdamnwellshehadn’t.“Let’sgetthisoverwith.”

“That’smyline,”hesaid,twirlinghisfingerasPowellandFischershovedherintothechair

acrossfromhis.“Hasyourmemorybecomeclearerthismorning?”

Fischerhadalreadypinnedherarmtothetable.“Idon’tknowwhatyou’retalkingabout,”she

managed,rightbeforeMurdockbroughtthehammerdownonherrighthand.Once.Twice.Three

times.Thepainwasalmostworseeventhoughshe’dbeenabletoanticipateit.Wasthathowit

worked?Evenifyousufferedthroughsomething,yourbodywouldreactlikeitwasfreshandnew?

Howtremendouslyfuckingunfair.

Shetriednottocry.Toldherselfnottocry.Buthell,ifasimplejostlefromFischerhadprovoked

involuntarytears,shecouldn’tkeepthemawaywhensomeonecausedhergenuine,severepain.

Don’tputyourheaddown.Don’tsob.Keepittogether.

Carolinebitherlip,tastingblood.Murdockwaswipingthehammeroff.Hehadn’tbrokenthe

skin.Themovewasmeantpurelytotaunt.Toremindherhestillhadhispreferredtooloftortureathis

disposal.FischerandPowelllaughed.

Shestaredatherhand.Amisshapenblobofflesh.Twodays,fivestrikesofthehammer,two

uselessappendages.Noonewouldstophertorture.Noonewouldsaveher.Shewoulddieinthis

place,drivenslowlytoinsanityinisolation,compelledtoendlesslyponderwhathertormentorswould

donext.Hersoulbrokeapartalittlemore.

Andshewept.

“Controlyourself,”Jacksaidquietly.

Likehewasonetotalk.Hisfistswereclenchedastightlyashers.Andhedidn’thavedamn

memoriesdogginghimeverywherehewent.

Thatmotherfuckerhaddaredlayahandonherchildren.Pretendedtoalleviatetheirpain.Laiditon

asthickashecould,singingarefrainofcounterfeitpenitencethatcouldonlycomefromtheblackestof

souls.Carolinebittheinsideofhercheek.Shecoulddothis.Shecouldtampdowntherage.

Compartmentalizelikeshe’ddoneformonths.Onlynowshehadplentytokeephergoing.Herhusband.

Herdaughters.Herbestfriend.Herfellowrevolutionaries.Shecouldpushasidedistractions,focuson

thehereandnow.Onthissolitarybattle.

ShewasCommanderCarolineGerard,leaderofthenewAmericanRevolution.Shehadtheheartof

agoddamnlion.She’dcrawledthroughthedesert,battlingwindandsandandblisteringheattocomeout

ahead.Herscarswerehertrophies.Hercrownofroses.Herproofofvictory.Herhairwasasfieryas

hersoul.Fuckhim.She’dstayabovethefrayifitkilledher.

“It’sstandardprotocol.”CarolinecouldhearChristine’svoicejustoutsidethedoor.“Especially

whenallofusaremeeting.Security,youknow.”

Cool,calm,andcompletelyfuckingcollected.Icewaterinherveins.SenatorSullivandeservedan

Oscarforherperformance.AnditsoundedlikeMurdockwasbuyingit.

“Thatseemsalittleunnecessary,”hesaid.“Especially-”Murdocksteppedintotheroom,eyeinghis

surroundings.“WhereareRogerandBrian?”

Christinesmiled.“Sorry,Jeffrey.It’sjustus.Andafewmembersoflawenforcement.”

HisgazerestedonCarolineandJack.“Impossible,”hesaid.

Carolinestraightenedhershoulders.Sheownedthismoment.“Someonelookslikehe’sseena

ghost.”

“I-”

MoutonplacedherhandonMurdock’sshoulder.“Sir,Ihaveawarrantforyourarrest.You’reto

comewithus.”

TheotherMountiesraisedtheirguns.Murdocklookedlikehewasmullinghisoptions,hiseyes

dartingbackandforthfromCarolineandJack,tothedoor,tothemultiplemenpointingfirearmsinhis

direction.“How-?”

HisconfusionwasamusingenoughthatCarolinelaughed.Maybethatmeantshewasalittlemore

unstablethanshethought.Shewriggledherfingersathimbeforepressingthemtoherstomach.Yeah,he

wouldn’tmissthatmessage.Ihealed.Isurvived.I’mstrongerthanyou.“Shouldhavecheckedfora

pulsebeforeyoulefttheroom,asshole.”

Helungedtowardher.“Yougoddamnbitch.”

JackshovedinfrontofCaroline,grabbingMouton’sgunandslammingMurdockagainstthewall.

“Standback,”hesaidtotheMounties.“Ihavethis.”

Oh,shit.Thiswasnotgood.ShewantedtotauntMurdockbutdidn’tintendforherhusbandtojump

intothemorasswithher.“Jack,don’t,”Carolinewhispered.

Maybehehadn’theardher.Maybehedidn’tcare.HebroughttheguntoMurdock’stemple,hisother

handaroundhisthroat.“Doyougetyourkicksfromhurtingwomen?Torturingthemandleavingthemto

die?Doyou?”

“Youcan’tproveanything,”Murdockchoked.

CarolinehadconsideredthatJackwouldlosehistemper,butfigureditwouldonlyhappenifshelet

hersspiraloutofcontrol.Rathersillyofher.Howhadtheybothreactedwhenconfrontedwithreality?

Bothsheandherhusbandhadahistoryofphysicalassault,andwereintensifyingtheirbehaviorin

hazardousways.

Shehadtode-escalate.Bringitdown.Injectsomelevity.IfshespokemaybeitwouldbringJack

backtoreality,remindhimwhytheywerethere.Otherwisehewasliabletoengageinconducthecouldn’t

takeback.“TheICCseemedtofindmyfirsthandaccountofyourbehaviorfairlyabsorbing,”Caroline

said.“Incaseyou’rewondering,TheHagueislovelythistimeofyear.”

JackflexedhisfingersagainstMurdock’sthroat,drawingaweakgurgle.

“Sir.”Bourgeoissteppedforward.“Lethimgo.Letusdoourjobs.”

“Fuckthat,”Jacksaid,pressingtheguntoMurdock’stempleagain.

Anynumberofthingscouldgowrong.Theweaponcoulddischarge.Murdockcouldwrestleitaway.

Everyoneintheroomwasinperil.ChristineputherhandonJack’sshoulder.Heflinchedbutdidn’t

slackenhisgriponthegunorMurdock.

“Jack,”shesaidquietly.“Putthegundown.”

Themessagewassubtle,butclear.Chrissywouldcarrythewaterforher.Forbothofthem.Sheknew

Carolinewasfar,fartooclosetothesituation.ChristineandJackweregettingalongbetter;thenegative

undercurrentthatoncedrovetheirrelationshipnowhadahintofdeference.Exactlywhatwasneeded.

Shesqueezedhisshoulder.“Givemethegun.”

“Youknowwhathedidtoher,”hesaid.“Hedeservestodie.”

“He’snotworthit.”

Jacknarrowedhiseyes.“Thefuckheisn’t.”

Christine’sfingerswerepracticallyembeddedinhisshirt.“Don’tdothistoCaroline.Sheneedsyou.

Yourchildrenneedyou.Letthejusticesystemdoitsjob.”

HeclutchedMurdock’sthroattighter.Wouldhelistentoher?Theothermanwasstartingtosweat.

Jackdidn’tlooktoocomfortableeither.He’dpressthegunagainstMurdock’stemple,pullitback,press

itagain.Itseemedtohappeninslowmotion,theentireroomswirlinginquartertime.Christinewas

talkingbutCarolinecouldn’tmakeoutthewords.

Doit,Jack,shethought.Fuckingdoit.

Heturnedtoher,hisforearmpressedagainstMurdock’swindpipe.“Hehurtyou.”

Herhusbandhaddefendedherhonorcountlesstimes.Buchanan,Powell,nowMurdock.Shedidn’t

deservehisveneration,especiallywhenherhalowassoverytarnished.Hecouldn’tindulgetheir

deepest,darkest,mostdamagingdesires,eveniftheywerethinkingtheexactsamething.Theyhadtobe

betterthanthelowestcommondenominator.Banalitybecameneitherofthem.Carolineshookherhead

backandforth.

Ittookaminute.Hegaveheralook,sheshookherheadagain,andJackliftedhisgunhand.“Ifyou

evercomenearmyfamilyagain,Iwillkillyou,”hesnarled.“Understand?”

Christinepeeledthegunawayfromhimashesteppedback,handingittoCaroline.“Ireallydon’t

wanttoholdthis.PerhapsyoushouldgiveittotheMounties.”

Chrissytrustedher.Carolineneededtorespectthat.Andstill…thatfeelingcameback.Theanger,the

frustration,thefesteringvengefulitchshecouldneverquitescratch.Compartmentalizationcouldn’tdo

awaywithitcompletely.

Murdockgrabbedherbythethroat.“Yoursufferingisn’toveryet,Gerard.I’vegotplansforyou.”

“You’reabastard,”shechokedout.

“Yes,butI’mfreeandinfantastichealth,unlikeyou.”Murdockreleasedher,pickingthebloody

itemsupoffthetable,tossingthembackintothebox.“Oh,don’tworry.You’llbewithyourchildren

soonenough.Ithinkwe’vehadenoughfunfortoday,though.Don’tyou?”

Fun.ShecouldteachJeffreyMurdockherversionoffun.CarolineshovedpastChristineandJack

andbroughtthegundownhardonMurdock’snose.“Nowyouknowhowitfeels.”

Moutonranupbehindher.“Andthat’senoughofthat,”shesaid,takingtheweapon.

Notquite.Murdocksanktothefloor.“Goddamnbitch.”

Whatwasithe’dtoldherchildren?Shehad…tenacity?Carolinestaredathimbeforeglancingather

beautifulpointytoedheels.Theywereworththesacrifice.Shekickedhimashardasshecouldinthe

face.“That’sformydaughters,”shesaid.“AndChrissy.Andfuck,forJacktoo.Allofus.”Shebrought

herfootbackagain.Onemorecouldn’thurt.

Christineyankedherbackward.“Caroline,please,”shesaid,staringatthebloodspatteredacrossthe

patentleather.“Thinkoftheshoes.”

Chrissyhadalwaysbeenafanofflawlessfootwear.Andithadbeenfunwhileitlasted.“Irestrained

myself,”Carolinesaid.“It’snotlikeIshothim.Icouldhavegivenhimastilettototheskull.”

“Shouldhave,”Jonescalledout.

Oh,yeah.Theyhadanaudience.Witnesses.ThankGodtheyhadn’tdonemore.

BourgeoisliftedMurdocktohisfeetandcuffedhimbehindhisback.“Aplaneiswaitingtotakeyou

totheNetherlands,”hesaid.

“Ineedmedicalattention,”Murdocksaid,blooddrippingdownhisface.

Bourgeoiscockedhishead.“Iseenoinjury.Doyou?”

“Notaone,”Moutonsaid.

Jacktookadeepbreath.“Iapologize.”HenoddedateachoftheMountiesinturn.“Ishouldnothave

letthatoccur.”

Murdockglaredathim.“Iknewyoucouldn’tdoit.”

ChristineshovedCarolineoutofthewayandslammedherkneeintoMurdock’sgroin,smilingashe

doubledoverinpain.“Gofuckyourself,Jeffrey.You’reluckyI’mnotarmed.Idon’thavequitethemoral

sensibilityofGovernorMcIntyreorRepresentativeGerard.”

MoutonmotionedtotheotherMounties,pointingthemoutthedoor.“Areyoufinished,Senator?”She

turnedtoCaroline.“Needanotherturn?”

“No,”shesaid.“I’mgood.”

Bourgeoissmiled.“Youcan’tfaultthesepeopleforwantingtogetoneortwojabsin.”

“Ididn’tseeanythingunseemly.Ijustaskediftheywerefinished.”MoutonliftedMurdocktohisfeet

byonearm,asBourgeoistooktheother.“You’vegotaflighttocatch.”Sheturnedtothethreeofthem.

“It’sbeenajoy.”

Christinesomehowmanagedtorecoverhergravitasfirst.“Thankyou.Allofyou.”

AssoonastheMountiesdispersed,Carolinedissolvedintorelievedgiggles.“Youkickedthat

assholeinthecrotch.Thatwasawesome.”

“Iwouldhavepreferredshepunchtheguy,”Jonessaid.“Breakafewmorebonesinhisgoddamn

face.”

“Naw.”Crunchunloadedhisweapon.“She’dmessupherhandthatway.She’sgotasmuchbottled

upinsideherasPrincess.”

“Jack?”Christineturnedaround.“Caretogiveusyourthoughtsonthematter?”

“No,”hesaid.“Idonot.”

“Didyoutwocoordinatethat?”Gigasked,pointingatCarolineandChristine.“That’sGerard’s

signaturemove,youknow.”

“Allwomenshouldknowhowtokickmeninthebits.Knee,meetmanparts.”Carolineglaredat

Jack.“Speakingofunrestrainedviolence,youpromisedtoholdyourtemper.”

Hegaveheralookremarkablyfreeofshame.“Ilied.You’retheonewhosmashedhisface.”

“I’ddoitagainifgiventhechance.”

Christinestraightenedherjacket.“Ourconductwashighlyunprofessional.I’llhavetoapologizeto

theMountiesthenexttimeIseethem.”

Theyprobablyneededtosendthemflowersorchocolatesorsomething.GigpattedCarolineonthe

shoulder.“MightIsuggestyougobackupstairs?”

Nosenseinmakingthemselvestargets.Trustoneoftheirbodyguardstoremindthemthatexposure

anddangerwereonlyamillisecondaway.

“MurdockwillundoubtedlygetwordtoWashingtonthatyou’realive,”Jacksaid.

Carolinehadalreadymentallypreparedherselfforthefallout.“Weknewthisdaywouldcome.Butat

leasthe’sincustody.”

“HopefullySantoswilljoinhimsoon,”Christineadded.

“IfIhaveanythingtosayaboutit,he’sgoingtogetalotmorethanthat.”Jackproddedthemtoward

thedoor.“I’vehadenoughstressfortheday.Ineedadamndrink.”

ChapterSixteen

“WishI’dbeenthere.I’mjealousofAuntChrissy.”

CarolinesmoothedoutthecomforteronMarguerite’sbed.“No,youaren’t.Noneofusbehaved

appropriately.”

“Doesn’tmeanitwasn’tjustified.”

True.“I’dprefertheexampleswesetforyoudon’tinvolveassaultandcontemplatedhomicide.”

Margueritetookaseatnexttoher.“Idon’tseetheissue.”

“Ido.I’dratheryounotrepeatmymistakes.”

“Theyweren’tmistakes.I’lldowhatIhavetodo.”

Carolineknewwhatwascoming.Hereldestdaughterhadn’tsaidmuchbutshe’dletafewcomments

sliphereandthere.Aboutmilitaryservice.Doingwhatwasright.Protectingbaseball,applepie,andthe

AmericanWay.MakingsureAuntChrissywasnudgingthePrimeMinisterintherightdirection.

“IwanttogotoCaliforniawithyouandJack,”Margueritesaid.

Yup.Rightoncue.“Absolutelynot.You’retooyoung.”

“I’malmosteighteen.Icangonoworfindyoulater.”

Oh,therecalcitranceofyouth.“No.”

“Iwanttofight.”

Notonlyrecalcitrance,butuncheckedbrio.“Youdon’tknowwhatkindoffightitis,Mo.None.”

“It’sanecessaryfight.IwanttohelpstopSantos.”

PerhapsCarolinehaderredinnottellingherdaughtermoreaboutTheFed.Itwassureashell

comingbacktobitehernow.“Youcan’t.Notatyourage,withouttraining.”

“Everyonecanhelp.Thesmallestcontributioncanmakeadifference.Youtaughtmethat.Remember

thestoryabouttheboythrowingthestarfishintothesea?Hecouldn’tsavethemallbuthesavedasmany

ashecould.That’swhatIwanttodo.”

Herdaughterdidn’tunderstandwhatshewassaying.Whatshewasadvocating.Allthatblazing

determinationwouldfadewhenrealityhit,anditwouldn’tbepretty.

“We’renottalkinggoodworksorhumanitarianefforts,Mo.Thisislifeanddeath.Realpeople

sufferingrealconsequences.”

Margueritemotionedtowardhermother’sface.“YouthinkIdon’tknowthat?”

Ah,yes.Theobvious,physicaldamage,fareclipsedbytheemotional.Herdaughterhadnoconcept

ofwhatthosedualtormentsreallymeant.

Carolinehadraisedherchildrentoowell.She’dintendedtoinfusethemwithasenseofthegreater

good,theurgetoleavetheworldabetterplace.Theimportanceofprivilegeandpowerandwealthand

theobligationtodosomethingpositivewithitwhenothershadnone.IfMargueritefeltthisway,what

wouldSophiedo?Wouldsheinsistonfightingaswell?Wouldbothofherchildrentumbledownthe

rabbitholeintotheunknown,armedwithonlytheirideals?Shejumpedtoherfeet.

“Youwanttoseewhattheydotopeoplewhoresistthem?Doyou?”Shepulleduphershirttoreveal

thescaronherstomach.“Youseethis?”Margueriteturnedaway.Nope.Couldn’thavethat.Caroline

yankedherarm.“No.You’regoingtogetaheavydoseoftruth.You’vealreadyseenthese,”shesaid,

pullinguphersleeves.Shespunaroundandliftedthebackofhershirt.“Howaboutthese?”Shewas

yellingnow,maybelouderthansheeverhadbefore.“Theydon’tplaynice.Theytorture.Theykill.

They’lldomorethanthatiftheygetthechance.”

Margueritestoodup.“I’mwillingtotakethatchance,”shesaid,withalittletoomuchbravado.

“I’mnot!”Carolinescreamed.“Iftheycaptureyouthey’lldofarworsethanjustkillyou.Theybeat

theshitoutofmerepeatedly.Theykilledmyfriends.Theyscrambledmymind.DoyouseewhoIam

now?DoyourememberwhatIusedtobe?Isufferedforfourteendaysatthehandsofthemostevil,

sadisticpeopleimaginableanddamnit,Iamnotgoingtoletithappentoyou.”ShepokedMargueritein

thechest.“I’mnotgoingtoletyourunintothelion’sden,nomatterhowgutsyyouare.”Carolineturned

away,trembling.“I’mnot.”

Margueritedidn’tspeakforalongtime,andwhenshefinallydidhervoicewasquiet.“Thenwhydo

youhavetodoit?”

Angercoulddissipateintoremorsesoswiftly,andnothingspurredhertoshamemorethanwhenshe

causedsomeoneelsepain.Carolinespunaroundandsawthathereldestdaughterwascrying.“Ijustdo,

sweetheart.ThisissomethingJackandIhavetofinish.ButI’mnotgoingtodragyouintoit.”Sheletouta

smallsob.“Idon’tcareifitsoundsselfish,itwoulddestroymeifIlostyouforever.Ijustcan’tletyoudo

it.”

“You’regoingtoleavesoon,aren’tyou?”

Shehadn’tthoughtthatfarahead.Notwhenshewasfocusingonthepricelessmomentsshewas

livingnow.“Idon’tknow.”

“Youare.Yousaidyourselfyouhadtoseeitthroughtotheend.Thatmeansfighting.Leavingus.

Plottingyourrevolutionarymap.”

Iwanttotakeyouwithme.But…“Iwantyoutobesafe.”

“We’resaferwithyou.Ifitallgoestohell,shouldn’twebetogether?”

Damnherhyperintelligentfirstbornandhergoddamnlogic.“Idon’tknowwhattodo,”Carolinesaid.

“Ofcourseyoudo.”Margueritetookherhand.“Youjustdon’twanttoadmitit.”

“Regardless,you’renotjoiningthearmyortheCanadianmilitaryorwhatever.Icanputmyfoot

downaboutthat.”

“OnceMarchrollsaroundIcandowhatIwant.”

Herbirthdaywasmereweeksaway.Shewasright.Thatwastheexasperatingpart.“Iknow,”

Carolinesaid.“Ijustreally,reallydon’twantyouto.”

“Idon’twantyoutogoeither,”saidMargueritesoftly.“Whathappensifyoudon’tcomeback?If

Jackdoesn’tcomeback?”

She’ddisruptedtheirlives.Mo.Feef.Chrissy.Theymaynothavebeenhappy,theymaynothave

beenwhole,theymaynothavebeenemotionallyhealthy,buttheyhadbeensafe.Protected.Loved.And

Carolinehadblownitalltohell.Shewrappedherarmsaroundherkneesandrockedbackandforth.“We

shouldhavenevercomehere.”

Margueritescowledather.“Andletusbelieveyouwerestilldead?That’sterrible,mom.Really,

reallyawful.Didyoueverthinkaboutwhatit’sbeenlikeforus?Webarelymadeithere.TomandJess

died.AuntChrissyalmostfellapartfromitall.Andwewaited,andwaited,andwaited,andyounever

came.Weheldouthopeyouwerestillalive,butthelongerwewaitedthemoreweknewyouweregone.”

Anapologyseemedmeaninglessbutshetriedanyway.“I’msorry.”

“Doyouknowwhathappenedwhenwesawthosefiles?Sophiecriednonstopfordays.Chrissy

lockedherselfinherroomandwouldn’tcomeout.AndallIcoulddowasfeelangryatyouforgetting

yourselfkilledwhenyouandJackshouldhavejustbeenwithus.”

“IknowIbrokemypromise.IknowwhatIdidwasselfish.I’msosorry,sweetheart.”Caroline

coveredherfaceandbegantocry.

Margueritesatdownonthebedandembracedhermother.“Don’t,mom.Stop.”

“Pleasedon’thateme,Mo.Ididn’twanttoleaveyou.SendingyouawaywithAuntChrissyand

UncleTomwasthehardestthingI’veeverhadtodo.”

Margueritetightenedhergrip.“Iknow.”

Shedeservedherdaughter’sanger.She’dgottenoffeasysofar.“Ithoughtaboutyouandyoursister

theentiretimeIwasinthathorribleplace.Andeverydaysince.Pleasedon’tmakemegothroughthe

painoflosingyouagain.Icouldn’tbearit.”

“Iwanttobewithyou,”Margueritesaidquietly.“Ineedyou.Ineedmymother.”

Carolinestraightenedup.“Doyouknowhowwonderfulit’sbeenbeingwithyouandFeefandJack,

feelinglikeafamilyagain?”

Margueritegrabbedatissue,wipingawayhermother’stears.“Iknow.”

Shetookadeepbreath.“Ican’tstopyoufromdoinganythingonceyouturneighteen.I’mnotentirely

sureIcouldstopyouanyway.Wehavesomeprettylooserequirementswhenitcomestoourlittle

alliance.Ijustwantyoutorememberthatifyoujoinus,we’llbemoreworriedaboutyouthananything

else.”

“Aren’tyougoingtoworryanyway?”

Avalidpoint.“Probably.”

“Thenwhynotbetogether?”

Shedefinitelywasn’tgoingtowinthisargument.“IwantyoutobesafeandI’mnotsurethebestway

todoit.”

“Youdon’tthinkJackfeelsthesamewayaboutyou?”

“I’msurehedoes,buthe’slearnedI’mtoostubborntoreasonwith.”

“Perhapsit’sgenetic,”Margueritesaid.

“Perhaps.”Carolinewantedanotherhug.Maybetwo.Ortwenty.SheleanedintoMarguerite’sarms

andtheyheldeachotherforalongtime.“DoyouknowhowmuchIloveyou,mylittleMoMo?”

“Ihaveavagueidea.”Margueritegaveheranotherhardhug.“Mom,partofmedoesunderstandwhy

youhavetodothis.It’sthesamepartthatwantstofight.”

“Iknow.It’sjust…complicated,darling.Mostdifficultdecisionsare.”

“ImeantwhatIsaidinthatinterview.Ireallyamproudofyouandwhatyou’vedone.It’sanhonorto

beyourdaughter.”

“Didtheyeditthatlastlineout?Idon’trememberitbeinginthere.”

“Ikeptthatonetomyself.”

Carolinekissedhercheek.“Youshouldn’thave.”

“Well,nowyouknow.”

“HaveyoutalkedtoFeefaboutanyofthis?”

“Oh,that’scompletelyyourjob.”

Sheshouldhaveknown.“Fine.”Carolinestretchedbeforestandingup.“Guessthat’smynextstop,

huh?”

“Yeah.”Margueritetookherhand.“ButI’llgowith.”

CarolinewaswithMarguerite.Sophiedecidedonsomequiettime,retreatingtoherbedroomtoread

abook.ChristinefledtoherownroomafterdowningacoupleofshotsofWildTurkeywithJack.Jones,

Gig,andCrunchreturnedtotheirhotel.Jackwasinthelivingroomalone.Damnit.Heneededtotalkto

Christine.He’dneededtosincetheyfirstarrived.Andhehadnoexcuseforfurtherdelay.

“Hey,Christine.”Hetappedsoftlyonherbedroomdoor.“Youokay?”

Jackhadallbutdeterminedshe’ddecidedtosackoutforawhilewhenheheardhertellhimtocome

in.

Christinewassittingonthebed.She’dbeencrying.“YoumustthinkI’mapatsy,”shesaid.“Getting

workedupwhenI’mnotthevictim.”

Hewasn’taccustomedtocomfortingwomenotherthanhiswife,norwasheparticularlygoodatit.

Maybelogicwouldhelp.“Youwereanaggressor.Thathadtothrowyouoff.Haveyoueverdone

anythinglikethatbefore?”

“No.”Shetriedtosmoothoutherhairwithtremblinghands.“IneverexpectedI’dreacttoanyone

thatway.”

Thethreeofthemhadbehavedpoorly,butsuchconductwasoldhattoJackandCaroline.Christine

wasunaccustomedtotheroughandtumblerealityoftherevolution.“Timeandstresschangethings,”he

said.Jacktookbothofherhandsinhisandtheshakingstopped.“You’renotapatsy.Giantbitchmaybe,

butnopatsy.”

“Pointsforhonesty,McIntyre.”Sheliftedherrighthanduptowipehereyes,butJacknoticedshe

wasperfectlycontentkeepingherlefthandenclosedinhis.

“You’vedonereallywelltoday,”hesaid.“Thepastfewdays,actually.”

Shestayedsilent.

“Especiallyunderthecircumstances.”

Shestaredathim.

“Thankyou,”hesaid.

“Jack,”shewhispered.“It’ssohardlookingatthosescars–they’re…”Shecoveredhereyes.“She’s

sostrong.Idon’tknowhowshedoesit.”

“Beingaroundthethreeofyouhelps.”

“Howmuchdothegirlsknow?”

Carolinehadtalkedtoherbuthewasn’tsurehowmuchshe’drevealed.“Mosawthemwhilethey

werebakingcookies.I’mnotsureifSophieknowsyet,”hesaid.“It’shardthefirstfewtimesyousee

them.It’s…”Howcouldheevenputitintowords?

“She’sholdingsomethingback,”Christinesaid.

Didhereallywanttohavethisconversation?“Howmuchdoyouknow?”

“Shetoldmealittle.AndIreadsomeoftherecords,”sheadmitted.“Maggiereadthemall.”

Shit.Hewasn’tgoingtotouchthatone.Hiswifecoulddothatlater.“ButyoureadCaroline’s.”

“Ofcourse.Hers,Ellen’s,Bob’s,Jen’s,Kathleen’s…peopleIknew.PeopleIcaredabout.”

Hegrittedhisteeth.“NowyouknowhowtheSantosAdministrationdefines‘enhanced

interrogation.’”

“But-”

“Christine,look.You’vehadaroughfewdays.Maybeyoushouldtakeitdownanotch.There’s

plentyoftimeforyoutogetalltheanswersyouneed.”

“Iknow.Ijust-”

Sheneededreassurance.Badly.“Youshouldhaveseenherfacewhenwesawthatnewspaperarticle.

ItwasthehappiestI’dseenherinyears.Shecriedforhoursafteryouleftthatnight.Ithinkshebelieved

shewasnevergoingtoseeyouagain.Notbecauseyouwouldn’tmakeit,butbecauseshewouldn’t.She

didn’tevenconsidertherewasachanceyoumightnotgethere.”

“Wealmostdidn’t.”

“FromwhatIunderstand,shewasprovidedwithwhatshethoughtwasproofyoualldiedinthe

effort.”

“Shetoldme,”Christinesaidquietly.

Damn.SoifCarolinehadshareddetails,she’donlygiventhelowlights.“Therewasnorecordofyou

crossingtheborderunderassumednames.Wehadnothingtodisprovetheinformationshe’dbeengiven.”

“Iwasn’tsureifitwassafetousethetrust,nomatterwhatyou’dtoldme.TheCanadiangovernment

wasmorethanwillingtoslipussomecashonthesideandprotectouridentities,”Christinesaid.“I

didn’twanttocallattentiontouswhenwefirstarrived.Itneveroccurredtomethatutilizingthataccount

wouldbeaveryeasywaytoletyouknowwewereokay.”

“Youdon’towemeanyexplanations,”saidJack.

“MaybeIshouldhavedonemore.”

Whatdiditmeanwheneveryonefeltthatway?Wheneverybattleseemednever-ending,evenifyou

gaveiteverydropofbloodandsweatyouhad?Atsomepointapersonhadtoceasetakingonburdens.

“Stopsecondguessingyourself.”

Christinelaughedbitterly.“Easiersaidthandone.There’sareasonwhyyourwifeandIaresuch

goodfriends.Wehavealotofthesameannoyingcharacteristics.”

“Maybethat’swhyIactuallylikeyoualittle.”

Theysatsilentlyforafewminutes,Jack’sarmwrappedaroundChristine’sshoulders.“Shecame

apartwhileshewasatthatfederalholdingfacility,”hesaid.“I’mtryingtoputherbacktogether.”

“That’sverynobleofyou,Jack.”Christinesmiledforamomentbutitquicklyfaded.“Shespenttwo

weeksthere.Fourteendays.”

“It’salongtime.”

“Sheseems-”Christinestopped,tryingtofindtherightwords.“Differentsometimes.Upsettinglyso.

Herbodylanguage,hertoneofvoice,herdemeanor,allthethingsI’dneverreallythoughtaboutbefore,

thatI’djusttakenforgrantedaswhosheis.It’sstillher,it’sjust….moreaustere.”

Lovingsomeonetotheircoremeantyoucouldeasilyspotchanges.Ablessingandacurse,especially

aftertimeapart.“She’shardened,buteveryonceinawhileyouseetherealCarolinecomeout.She’s

beenalmostheroldselfwhilewe’vebeenwithyou.It’swonderful.”

Christineshuddered.“Ihatetothinkaboutwhatmadeherthewaysheisnow.”

That’swhyItrynottodoit.“Therealityisprettybad.Youneedtosteelyourselfifshedecidesto

openupmorethanshealreadyhas.”

“Shenevertoldthemanything,didshe?”

“No,”Jacksaidquietly.“Sheneverdid.”

Christineshookherhead.“Thatwoman.Idon’tevenhavethewords.”

“Mostofthetime,neitherdoI.”

“Ihavetosay,Idon’tknowwhethertobeimpressedorterrifiedbythetwoofyou.You’vecertainly

turnedthecorner.”

“We’rehopingtoinspireablockbustermoviesomeday.StraighttoDVD,ofcourse.”

“Youwouldn’twanttosetyourstandardstoohigh.”

“No,ofcoursenot.Itwouldbeself-financed,yousee.”

“TherearemoreSwissbankaccountsthepublicneverknewabout?”

“Irevealnothing.”

Christinepattedhisleg.“Youseemtobeinrelativelygoodspirits,allthingsconsidered.”

“Itwasn’talwaysthatway.Wewere…separatedafteryouleftinFebruary.Andthat’swhen,well,

youknow.Sheandhercrewfoundtheirwaytowherewewerehidingabouteightmonthsago.”

“Wow.”

“Didshetellyouanyofthis?”

“Wehadn’tgottenthatfar,asidefromsomeminordetails.Shepurposelyleftoutwhathappened

beforeshewascaptured.Howwereyouseparated?”

HeandChristineweremilescloserthantheyusedtobe,andifherevealedthetruththey’dbefurther

apartthanever.“IfItellyouwhathappened,you’regoingtohateme.”

“Well,I’mnotexactlyyourbiggestfan,somaybethat’snotanissue.”

Atleastshecouldjokeaboutit.“Pointtaken.I’mgladtherestofyourfamilydisagreedwithyour

judgment.”Shit.Talkaboutbeinginsensitiveashell.Hesawthepaininhereyes.“I’msorry,Christine.I

shouldn’thavesaidthat.”

“No,”shesaidbrusquely.“It’sfine.Whathappenedafterweleft?”

Theroomwasgettingchilly.Jackletoutahardbreath.“Thingsescalatedquickly.We’dheardrumors

ofarebelmovementgrowingoutwest.Youandthekidsweregone.JenandKathleenweregone.And

then,onenight…theycame.”

“Who?”Christineasked.

Shehadtodamnwellknow,butanyway.“Federaltroops.TheSantosAdministrationhaddonea

goodjobofplayingthemediagame.Allthemajoroutletswereeitherboughtofforcowedintotoeingthe

partyline.IftheytookusdowntherewasachanceAmericanswouldfigureoutwhattheyweredoing.

Theirsmokescreenwouldfade.Sotheyhadtotimeitright.Ofcourse,”hesaidwryly,“weallknowhow

wellthattheoryofmineworkedout.”

“Youcouldaffordtobeabitmorecynical,”Christinesaid.“Certainpocketsofourpartyhavefought

againstintellectualismandso-calledacademicelitismforyears,andit’spaidoffinspades.”

Afairifdepressinganalysis.NeitherhenorChristinewerelackinginpessimism.“Nearthe

beginningofFebruary,theytookoutoursecurityandcamechargingintothemansion,gunsdrawn.We

somehowmadeittotheLincoln,but…”Hewincedatthememory.“Iescapedwithoutascratch.Caroline

hadbeenshotintheleg.Justagraze,butsomethingthatwouldneedattention.”

Christinepattedhishand.“Youdon’thavetotalkaboutthisifyoudon’twantto.”

Washisdiscomfortthatobvious?“No,it’sokay.It’sactuallykindoftherapeutic.”

Sherubbedthebackofherneck.“Carolinesuregetsinjuredalot.Thatwoman.”

“Wedidn’tmakeitfarinthecar,”hecontinued.“GiventhenatureofherinjuryIwantedustogetto

Canadaassoonaspossible.TheyshotoutthetiresonsomecompactcarweswappedfortheLincolnas

wenearedwesternPennsylvania,andweslidofftheroadintoatree.Idon’tknowhoweitheroneofus

wasn’tkilled;abouttwentybulletshadtohavegonethroughthatpieceofshit.Caroline’sairbagdidn’t

deploy,andshewasdrivingsosheslammedintothesteeringwheel.Iwaslucky;Imaybehadacoupleof

crackedribsandatwistedankle.WesetoffonfootintheAlleghenyNationalForest.BythenCaroline

wasinreallybadshape.”

“Andmedicalcarewasn’tanoption,”Christinemuttered.

“Itwasn’t.Notthatitmattered;Icouldn’ttellyouhowwe’dhavegottentoahospital.Trudginginthe

woodsinthemiddleofwinter?Amanwhohadneverownedapairofhikingbootsandawomannursing

Godknowshowmanyinjuries?Wehadnobusinessbeingwherewewere.Andthen-”Thememories

overwhelmedhim,andheclenchedhisfist.

Shehandedhimatissue.“Whathappened,Jack?”

Shithappened.Bad,badshit.“We’dmaybegottenamileortwowhenCarolinecollapsed.Ihadto

propherupagainstatreetokeepherfromkeelingover.”Herubbedhiseyes.“Shethoughtshewas

dying,”hesaidsoftly.“Isawthisterrible,awfulfearinhereyes.Itriedtokeephertalkingbutitwasso

coldandshekeptnoddingoff.Iknewifshepassedoutcompletelythatshemight–thattherewasagood

chanceshewouldn’twakeup.”

Christineputherarmaroundhisshoulder,andhepattedherhand.They’dprobablybeenmore

affectionatewitheachotherinfifteenminutesthantheyhadinalmostadecadeofknowingeachother.It

wasbizarre,butpalliative.

“Icouldn’tcarryher.Andsheknew–webothknew–whatouronlyoptionwas.ButIwasn’tgoing

tosuggestit.”

Heturnedhisheadaway.Christinemighttoleratehimbetterthanshehadpreviously,buthedidn’t

wanttobreakdowninfrontofher.“Carolinewastheonewhohadtosayit.Ididn’twanttohearit,didn’t

wanttoacceptit.Shetoldmetogoonwithouther.Ididn’twanttodoit.But…”

“Jack,”Christinesaidquietly.“It’sokay.”

“Ilefther,”hewhispered.“Ilefthertodieinthewoods.”

Sherestedherheadonhisshoulder.“Howmanytimesdidshehavetotellyoutoleave?”

“Idon’tknow,threeorfour.Maybemore.Icouldn’tbelievewhatshewasaskingmetodo.Ikept

tryingtotalkheroutofitbutshewouldn’tlisten.Shegavemeherweddingrings.ShesaidifIdidn’t

leaveandwebothgotcaughtshe’dneverforgiveme.”

“Icanpracticallyhearhertellingyouthat.”Christineletoutatinylaugh,thensobered.“I’msorry,

Jack.Youprobablydon’tfindthatfunny.”

Hedidn’t,butthewayshesaiditmadehimsmile.“Itmightbealittleamusing,”heconceded.

Shebroughtbothofherarmsaroundhimandkeptherheadonhisshoulder.“Youneedtoletgoof

this.”

Hedidn’tpushheraway.“Youknow,you’realotmorephysicallydemonstrativethanIremember.”

“Myfrigiddemeanorhasbeenwarmedbythepresenceofyourchildrenthepasttwoyears.Ifeel

obligatedtobemorehuggynow.”

“Itstillfeelsabitodd.”

Christinewithdrewfromhim.“Fine.I’llcontinuetosharemynewfoundeffusivenesswithyour

wife.”

Theyweresilentforafewmoments,thefamiliartensionreturning.

“Youdidwhatsheaskedyoutodo,”Christinesaid.“Whatshetoldyoutodo.”

“Ishouldhaveneverlefther.”

“Ipresumeshewasquiteconvincing.”

Jackleapttohisfeet.“Doesitmatter?Ileftandshewascaptured.Theydidincrediblyunspeakable

thingstoherbecauseIwasn’tmanenoughtostay.”

Christinelookedhimsquarelyintheeyes.“Actually,thatwasoneofthebravestthingsyoucould

havedone.”

“Itsureashelldoesn’tfeelthatway.”

“Howmanytimesdidyoutrytogoback?”

Ten.Twenty.Amillion.“Ilosttrack.Ididn’tknowwhereIwasrelativetoher.AllIknewwasthatI

hadtokeepmovingsomehow.”

“Andsheblamesyouforthis?Thatseemssurprising.”

“Atfirstshedid,oratleastIthoughtshedid.”

Christinepressedherfingerstohertemples.“Sheblamedherself,didn’tshe?”

“Stilldoes.”

“Howlongdidittakeyoutofigureitout?”

Toolong.“Awhile,”hesaid.“CaretorubitinthatIwasn’tasquickontheuptakeasyouare?”

“Iwouldneverdothat.It’smucheasiertoseethetruthwhenyouaren’toneofthepartiesinvolved.

Easiertoblameyourselfratherthanlookforexternalreasons.AndIknowyourwifeprettywell.”She

smiledshyly.“MustknowyoubetterthanIthought,too.”

“Whatwouldyouhavedone?”

Christineletoutasmallsigh.“Bothchoicesareequallyawful.”

Hewasn’tgoingtorevealtoomuchmore.Thatwasdeeplypersonal.AndifCarolinespilledthe

beans,he’dneverwanttofindout.“We’vehadtoworkthroughsomethingssincethen.”

“Icanimagine.”

“Ithasn’tbeeneasy.She’scomealongwayinthepastfewmonths.Shealmostgaveup.Iknow

there’ssomethingshe’snottellingme.Maybeshe’lltellyou.”

“I’mnotgoingtogiveyouthedetailsifshedoes.YouandIaren’texactlyconfidants.”

“That’snotwhatImeant,”hesnapped.Herealizedhowharshhesoundedandsoftenedhisvoice.

“You’reherbestfriend,Christine.She’smissedyouterribly.TherearelimitstowhatIcangiveher.”

“You’vedonemoreforherthanyouthink.”

“Shehasnightmares,”Jackwhispered.“Notoftenbutthey’reterrifying.”Hisvoicebroke.“Idon’t

thinkshe’severgoingtobethesame.”

Christineputherarmaroundhim.“Anynormalpersonisforeveralteredbyatragedyorthey

wouldn’tbehuman.AndCarolinewasalwaysaverysensitive,sentimentalwoman.Butshe’sstrong.

She’llfindaway.”

Thetearsinhiseyeswereobvious.Humiliating.Butheknewshe’dunderstand.“Thisishardforme

toask.Idon’tknowexactlywhatyoucandobut…willyouhelpme?Withher?”

“AmIthefirstpersonyou’vetalkedtoaboutthis?”

Asifshedidn’tknowtheanswer.Henodded.

“I’mnotsurewhatthatsaysabouteitherofus,”Christinesaid.

ItwasthekindofthingheshouldhavetoldNatalie.“WhatcanIsay?It’slonelyatthetop.”

“Ibettherearen’talotofmarriagecounselorshangingoutwhereveryou’reat.”

“Wehaveonefriendwhohelpedbothofustremendouslybutshe’snotapsychotherapist.”

Christinerearrangedherselfonthebedsoshewasfacinghim.“Jack,Ihaven’ttreatedyoufairly.”

Shit.Hedidnotwanttohavethisconversationwithher.Thingshadgottenawkwardenough.

“Christine,youdon’thaveto-”

Shecuthimoff.“I’vehadalongtimetothinkaboutthis,andnowIgettosayallthethingsIwanted

tosay,tobothyouandCaroline.ItookyourkidsandgotthemoutofHarrisburg.Ididthatforher.Andfor

them,butmostlyforher.ButInevergaveyouafairshot.Ever.YouandIwouldfightlikecatsanddogs.I

couldseeitwasbreakingherheartanddiditanyway.”

Shewasshoulderingtoomuchoftheblame.“Webothdid,”hesaid.“Idon’trememberstoppingit.”

“Don’tstealmythunder.Ididn’tlikeyou.I’mstillnotsureIlikeyou.Butthatwasn’tmyplace.Your

wifewasandisoneofthemostimportantpeopleinmylife.Ihadnorighttotreatyouthatway.Sheloves

you.Thatshouldhavebeenenough.”

“Youhadyourreasons.Theremayhaveevenbeenahintofvaliditytothem.”

“That’snoexcuse.”

Arefreshingadmission,toolongincoming.Forbothofthem.“Youwouldn’tbeyourselfifyou

hadn’ttriedtoprotecther.”Hegrinned.“Eventhoughit’sfairlyobviousyouwerewayoffthemark.”

“Let’snotgocrazy.”

Jackcockedaneyebrowather.“Youlikeme.Youcanadmitit.”

“Fine,”shesaid,throwingherhandsintheair.“Inolongerfindyoudistasteful.”

Indifferencesoundedlikeawintohim.“MayIquoteyouonthat?”

“Always.”ChristineglancedoverataphotoofherandCarolineonthenightstand.“Itmustbecrazy

livingthisway,givenherabilitytogetherselfintotrouble.”

Indeed.“Beingmarriedtoastubborn,well-armed,determinedwomanisn’teasywhentheworldis

crumblingandyou’retryingtostopit.”

“Itseemslikeshe’smanagedtogetherselfalmostkilledmorethanafewtimes.”

“Atleastthree,”hesaid.“Thatmeansshehasseverallivesleft,right?”

“I’dassumeso.”Shepattedhishandagain,preemptivelygrabbingatissuefromtheboxonthe

nightstand.“Jack,I’meverlastinglygratefulyouprotectedCarolineandbroughtherbacktome.Thank

you.”

Ugh.Ifshecriedanymorehe’dneedatissuetoo.Maybehewasgettingtoosoft.“I’mnotsureI

protectedherallthatmuch.”

“Youdidthebestyoucouldinanimpossiblesituation.”

Therewasanotherpictureonhernightstand.Ofherfamily.Herotherfamily.“I’msorryaboutTom

andJess,”hesaid.“Theywerewonderfulpeople.Theysacrificedthemselvesforyouandthegirlsand

thatisadebtIcanneverrepay.”SheletoutastrangledsobandJackpulledherintohisarms.“I’msorry,

Christine.Ishouldn’thavebroughtthatup.I’msosorry.”

“It’snotyourfault,Jack.Weknewtherisks.It’sjust…beenhard.”

Paintookdifferentforms,wasprocessedindifferentways.Eventhemostresilientofsoulsknewit

well.“Iknow.”

“Idon’tthinkthere’sacomparisonbetweenoursituations.”

Heletgoofher,handingheranothertissue.“Couldyouhaveimaginedanyofthishappeningfour

yearsago?”

“What,melivingwithyourkidsinCanada,orthetwoofushavingacivilconversation?”

Jackchuckled.“Both,Iguess.”

Christinegatheredhertissuesandthrewtheminthewastebasket.“Iwon’tcomplaineitherway.Take

miracleswhentheycome,becausethey’refewandfarbetween.”

Hecertainlywould.

ChapterSeventeen

ChristineinsistedongivingJackandCarolinesomealonetime.Jackwasn’tentirelysurewhatthat

meant,butsuspectedshewouldforcehimtosleepinherroomthatnightwhileshetookthecouch.He’d

learnednottoargue,especiallywhenshewasnolongerquibblingwithhim.Shemeantthegesture

sincerely.He’ddamnwelltakeaprivatemomentwithhiswifewhenhecouldgetit.

“Christinemademepromisenottodoanythinginappropriatewithyouinhere,”hesaid,closingthe

bedroomdoorandleaningagainstit.

“I’mnotsureifthat’smuchofapromise.Sheknowswhatyourstandardsare.”

“Oh,really?”

Shetuggedathissleeve.“Imayhavetoldafewstories.”

Hekissedhercheek.“Onlythegoodones,Ihope.”Damn,thatbedlookedcomfortable.Whenwas

thelasttimehe’dbeenonaqualitymattress?Heresistedtheurgetoshakehishead,knowinghiselitism

waspokingthrough.Andhiswifemusthaveknownwhathewasthinkingbecausesheverydramatically

swoopedontothebedspread,restingherchinonapillow.

“Incaseyou’rewondering,thisissupercozy,”Carolinesaid.“Like,highthreadcountsandanice

fleeceblanketandgoosedownand-”

“Igettheidea.”Hesettledinnexttoher,pleasedwhensherolledintohisarms.“Howareyou

feeling,sweetheart?Beenaroughday.”

Afullbodyshudderfollowedbyacluckofresignation.“Couldhavebeenworse.”

Shewasfeelingtheaftereffects.“YouwerethinkingaboutTheFedthefirsttimeyouheardhisvoice.

Isawyoustiffen.”Hedidn’tbotherframinghisobservationasaquestion.

Carolinesniffled.“Yeah.”Sheheldupherhands.“Iwasthinkingaboutthis.”

Jackkissedherfingers.“You’remorethanwhathedidtoyou.”

“Iknow,”shesaidquietly.

Hewasdeterminednottoletherforgetit.Evenifhehadtorepeatitathousandtimes.“Wasit

strange,seeinghim?”

“Alittle.Noneofusreactedwell.”

Jackwasstilldisappointedinhimself.Theurgeforretributionwasnatural,maybeevenjustified,but

theoutcomewouldhavebeenterrible.“Weneedtoworkonthat.”

Carolineburrowedintohischest.“Let’sstartbeingbetterpeopletomorrow.RightnowIjustwantto

forgeteverything.”

“Imissthis,”hesaid.“Usspendingtimetogether.”

“Youmisssex.”

Thatpartoftheirrelationshipwasn’tterrible,but…“Imissyou.Andme.Relaxing,unwinding,not

havingtobeonguardallthetime.”

“Youhaven’tfoundawaytorelaxhere?”

Hecouldhearthelaughterinhervoice.“Notyet.”

Shehuggedhimcloser.“Wehavetodecideournextmove,”shewhispered.

Californiawasonlyaflightaway,butitwasmorethanmiles.Hedidn’twanttothinkaboutit.The

HaguehadbeenavacationbutCanadawasadream.MaybetheycouldbuyaJeepandtrekuptothe

YukonTerritoryandthefiveofthemcouldhideoutforaslongastheyneeded.Untiltheshithitsomeone

else’sfan.

Buthe’dthoughtaboutit.Hehadto.Madeacoupleofcalls.IfheandCarolineweregoinganywhere,

theirfamilywasgoingwiththem.

“Wedon’thavetodoitnow,”hesaid.“Letmejustholdyouforawhile.”

“HaveItoldyouhowswellyouare?”sheasked.

Herubbedherback.“Hmm…you’vetoldmehowmuchyoulovedme,whatagoodmanIam,

mentionedsomethingaboutasexyprofessor,butI’mnotentirelysureyou’veeversaidI’mswell.”

“Youare.You’reagoodkissertoo.”

“Oh,really?”Hepressedhislipstohers.“Likethis?”

Sheranherfingersthroughhishair.“That’sjustapeck.Youcandobetter.”

“Wepromisedourgracioushostthatwe’dbehaveourselves.”

Shecrawledontopofhim.“Youdidthat.Ipromisednosuchthing.”

Theyhadtoberesponsible.Evenifthatbreathtakingredhairmadehimwanttoripoffallher

clothes.“Caroline-”

“Wannamakeout?”

Heturnedthetables,takingherwithhimasherolledoveronthebed.They’dspendtheafternoon

holdingeachother,thenightdoingthesamething.Andhe’denjoyeverydamnminuteofit.“Hell,yes.”

ChristineandJackmadethefiveofthemdinner.AllCarolineheardwasfriendlybantercomingfrom

thekitchen.Amazing.Thegirlsretiredshortlyafterthemeal,claimingfatigue.Giventheday’sevents,it

wasn’toutsidetherealmofpossibility.Sophiehadbeenquietwhenthethreeofthemchatted.Marguerite

triedtoprodherintomoreconcreteresponses,butCaroline’syoungestdaughterjustwantedtohugher,

avoidingallofthetoughquestions.Translation:shedidn’twanttoletherparentsgo,whichmade

Carolinefeelevenguiltier.Jackwaswatchingtelevisioninthelivingroomandcatchinguponafew

emails,soCarolinewashidingoutinChristine’sbedroom.

“Jackneedstosleepmore,”shesaid.“Hespendstoomuchtimefocusedonme.”

“Enjoyit,”Christinesaid.“Thatmaniscompletelytakenwithyou.Maybeevenmorethanheusedto

be.”

“Sincewhenareyousogunghoaboutmyhusband?”

“ItalkedtohimtodaywhileyouwerewithMaggieandSoph.Ididn’twanttoclawhiseyesout.”

“That’sprogress.”

“Youtwoarestayinginheretonight.Together.”

Well,then.“Musthavebeenquiteaconversationifyou’reofferingupyourbed.”

“Youneedthatquiettime.AsmuchasIadoreyou,I’mperfectlyfineonthecouch.Iassumeyoutwo

wereabletocontrolyourselvesthisafternoon?”

Hemanagedtogoadherintoremovinghershirt.Foolingaroundlikehighschoolershaditsmerits,

exceptnowshewaseagertodisrobeevenfurtheroncetheyhadmorethanafewhoursalone.“Ofcourse,

Chrissy.We’repoliteandrespectfulguests.”

Christinelaughed.“Isupposeyouare.BasedonwhatIdiscussedwithhim,I’dliketotalktoyou

aboutafewthings,ifthat’sokay.”

“We’regoingtohavehearttoheartseverynight,aren’twe?”

“Wehavealotofcatchinguptodo.Andneitherofusseemstosleepverywell.”

Validpoints.“Askaway,Chrissy.”

“Don’tsoundsoputout.Wedon’thavetotalk.Wecanseetheinourself-loathingandponderour

existence,doingourverybesttofendoffthebaddreamsinstead.”

Whatacharmingphrasing.“Justgetonwithit.”

“TellmemoreaboutwhathappenedwhenyouwenttoCalifornia.”

Shit.Shehadleftoutafewpertinentdetails,hadn’tshe?Gabewasalongstory,butshetried.Keptit

short.CarolinecouldtellChristinewasdisappointedinher.

“Goahead,”shesaid.“Layintome.”

Christinerubbedhertemples.“Idon’tknowwheretostart.How’dJackreactwhenyoutoldhimthe

truth?”

“Hewashurt.I’mstilltryingtomakeupforit.”

“Idon’tthinkhe’sholdingagrudge.Notaresentfulboneinthatman’sbodywhenitcomestoyou.”

“ItreatedJackterribly,Chrissy.Ireallydid.Ihadallthisangerinsidemeanddirecteditathim,even

thoughhedidn’tdeserveit.Isaidsomanyhorriblethings.WorsethanwhenNickydied.”

Christineshookherhead.“Youwereprettyfoulthen.Ican’timaginehowyoucouldtopit.”

“Idid.Numeroustimes.”

“Jackfeelsrottenaboutwhathappenedinthewoods.Youknowthat,don’tyou?”

“Iknow.Ikeeptellinghimtoforgivehimself.”

“Whataboutyou?Haveyouforgivenyourself?”

Ofcourseshewouldaskthehardquestions.Carolinehadgottenoffeasythenightbefore.“I

shouldn’thavemadehimleave.”

“Whatwouldyouhavedoneiftheroleswerereversed?”

Sheneverwantedtothinkaboutthat.Notfortoolong.Thepastfewdayshadbeenbetterthanshe’d

feltinforever,andshewasn’tabouttofuckthatup.“Whatwouldyouhavedone?”

“Jackaskedmethesamething,”Christinesaid.“Ican’tanswerthatquestion.Youcanbepretty

damnedpersuasivewhenyouwanttobe.”

Atleastshewasdiplomaticenoughnottoforcetheissue.“Itwasn’tfairtoforcehimtomakethat

choice.”

“Noneofthisisfair.Wejusthavetomoveonfromit.”

“That’swhatNataliesaid.”Carolinesmiled.“SheremindsmeofKatie.”

Christinepattedherhand.“Kathleenwasafunone,wasn’tshe?”

“Imissher,”Carolinesaidquietly.“Itrynottothinkaboutit.”

“Thentakeabreak.You’reallowedtostoptakingontheworld’sproblemseveryonceinawhile.”

“Hardtodothat.”

“Iknow.Yourdevotiontopublicserviceisabitextreme.”

Carolinenudgedhershoulder.“Jerk.”

“IkidbecauseIlove.”

Didn’tsheknowit.“Whatdoyoureallythinkofallofthis?”

“Ofwhat?”

“Everythingthat’shappenedoverthelastfewdays.”

“It’salottoabsorb,”Christineadmitted.“I’mworkingonit.IfIhadn’tbeensoshockedtoseeyou,I

probablywouldhavebeenterrified.”

“Why?”

“You’realittlerougharoundtheedges.Andtoday,whathappenedwithMurdock…thatthrewme.”

“You’retheonewhokickedhiminthegroin.”

“Nothankstoyou.Youpracticallyliftedmykneeforme.”

ShewouldhavedoneitherselfhadChristinenotvolunteeredfortheassignment.“Ialwayswantedto

gohigh,”Carolinesaid.“Inpolitics,inlife,whatever.They’dgolow,they’dgetdirty,andIwasnever

supposedtogetdowninthemudwiththem,youknow?Butyoucan’treasonwithunreasonablepeople.

There’snocommongroundinthatsortofdisagreement.Thelinesarenevergoingtomeet,evenifthey’re

headedtowardeachother.Ithoughtwecoulddiscoverasenseofharmony,couldmakesomesortof

humanconnectionifwetriedhardenough.ButIwasnaïve.ThereweresomanythingsItookforgranted.

SomanythingsIthoughtI’dhavetimetodo.AndnowI’vedonethingsIneverthoughtIwould.Those

hardtruthschangeyou,Chrissy.Youmayhavechangedinadifferentwaybutyou’veseenthedarkness

too.”

“That’sneverareasontosuccumbtoit.”

Shedaredtogetself-righteous?Carolinewastemptedtocalloutherhypocrisybutdidn’twantto

startanargument.“Sometimesit’sunavoidable.Tellmewhat’sreallybotheringyou.”

“What’sbotheringmeisyou’resodifferent.Andnotinentirelygoodways.”

AsifCarolinedidn’tknowthat.Fuckrestraint.Fatigueandfadingadrenalineloosenedhertongue.

“I’veseenalotofshit.Toomuchshit.IfIgodown,I’llgodownfighting.It’seasyforyoutosituphere

waitingforustodoeverything,butyoudon’twanttodealwiththepracticaleffects.”

Christinepushedherselfoffthebedandindignantlyflungupherhands.“Youknowwhat,you’re

right.Ihaven’tdoneanythingtohelpyouinanyway,haveI?It’snotlikeIlefteverythingbehind,allmy

friends,mylivelihood,myhome,myheritage,becauseImadeapromisetoyoutoguardyourchildren.

It’snotlikemyhusbandanddaughtersacrificedthemselvestogetyourkidsacrosstheborder,orIhadto

traipsethroughthehinterlandswithonlytheclothesonmyback,worryingaboutwhatlayahead,

wonderingwhetheryouandJackweresafe,wonderinghowIwasevergoingtoexplainwhatwasgoing

ontoMaggieandSoph,hopingIcouldgetthemtosafety.It’snotlikeI’vespentnightsworryingwhether

I’dbeabletoraisethemproperly,whetherIwasansweringtheirquestionscorrectly,whetherIwas

teachingthemtherightvalues,whetherIwasdoinganythingthewayyou’dwantmeto.Tomakesure

theyrememberedwhoyouwere,tothinkaboutwhattodoastheygotolder.WhatI’ddoiftheybeganto

forgetyourvoiceandyourspiritandhowmuchyoulovedthem.”Thewordskepttumblingfromher

mouthandhervoicebegantoshake.“Ihaven’tseenthedevastationthat’sgoingoninacountrythatIlove

witheverythingthat’sinme,forcedtocontemplatethattheAmericaIthoughtIknewneverexisted.I

haven’twokenupinthemiddleofthenightscreamingoutforyouorTomorJessie,feelingsickabout

howthethreeofyousufferedatthehandsofaregimedeterminedtoeraseeverythinggoodandtrue.

You’reright.Ihaven’tdoneadamnthing.It’sallbeensunshineandfuckingdaisiesuphere.”

Carolinehadphrasedheraccusationpoorly.Andunfairly.Christinehadn’tdeservedit.She’dproved

herloyaltyanddedicationtothecauseathousandtimesover.“Chrissy-”

“No.”Christinepointedanaccusingfingerinherdirection.“Youdon’tgettotalk.Igettotalk.You

andJackchargeinhereoutofnowhere,youhaven’tgivenmeanyspecificsaboutyourgameplanorhow

youintendtoexecuteit,andnowI’mlefttowonderhowI’mgoingtoexplainthingstoyourchildrenwhen

youdisappearinthemiddleofthenight,whichIknowyou’reboundtodo.”

Wasthatwhatthiswasabout?Apprehensionaboutbeingseparatedagain?“Wehaveajobtofinish.

WehavetostopSantos.”

“That’swhatyoudo,isn’tit?Youdoincrediblynoblebutunbelievablystupidthingsallthetime

withoutthinkingoftheconsequences.Maybejustonceyoucouldthinkabouttheeffectithasonthepeople

wholoveyou.MyGod,Caroline,howmanytimeshaveyoualmostbeenkilledbecauseofyourprized

senseofdecency?HowamIgoingtoexplainittoyourchildrenifyouleaveanddon’tcomeback?How

amIgoingtolivewiththat?”

CarolinejumpedupandtookChristine’shands.“Youdon’tneedtothinkaboutthatnow.”

Christinebitherlip.“OfcourseIdo.Iknowyou’renotstaying.YouandJackhaveajobtofinish,I

getthat.Ijust….IgotyoubackandIdon’twanttoloseyouagain.”

Echoesofherhusband’swords.Ofherdaughter’swords.NomatterwhatCarolinedid,shewas

disappointingsomeonewholovedher.Itwasmorethanthepotentialofseparation.Christinewasdeeply

upsetaboutsomething.“What’sreally,trulybotheringyou?Ifit’ssomethingthatinvolvesyellingatme,

pleasecounttotenfirst.”

Christinesatdownonthebed.“It’snotyou.It’sme.”

“That’sneveragoodline.”

“No,thistimeit’sreallytrue.”Shesmiled,justalittle.Notahappysmile.“LatelyI’vebeen

questioningmyroleinthegirls’lives.InthejobI’vedone.NowthatyouandJackarehere,IrealizeI’m

notnearlytheguardiantheyneed.”

“That’snottrue.”

“YouchosethetwoofusbecauseofTom,right?”

Oh,Christ.Wasthattheissue?Carolineslidnexttoheronthebedspread.“Ichosebothofyou.”

Christinereachedforatissue.“Iwasneverallthatgreatamother.”

Yeah,she’dhitthenailonthehead.Someinsecuritiesneverwentaway.Theyweregoingtoneedan

industrialsizeboxoftissuesafterthetwodaysthey’dhad.“Ofcourseyouwere.Whatathingtosay

aboutyourself.”

“Ihaven’ttoldSusannahI’malive.ShethinksI’mdead,I’msure.”

Thatwascurious.Therehadtobeabenignwaytogetwordtoher.“Whynot?”

“Ijust-”ThiswasclearlyatopicChristinedidn’twanttodiscuss.Buthell,she’dopenedthedoor.“I

can’t.”

“Chrissy-”ThemoreCarolinethoughtaboutit,themoredisconcertedshefelt.“Youhaven’t

contactedherintwoyears?”

“That’swhatIjustsaid.”

CarolineknewSusannahandChristinehadtheirmoments.She’dwitnessedmanyofthem.Butfor

Chrissytoletherdaughterthinkshewasdead?Thatseemedcoldevenforher.“She’sinParis.She’d

wanttoknowyou’realive.Youshouldreachout.I’msureshe’dbeoverjoyed.”

Christineshookherheadvigorously.“It’sbetterifshethinksI’mdead.She’ssaferthatway.”

“Areyouevergoingtotalktoheragain?”

Christineclutchedatthebedspread.“YouthinkImadethewrongchoice.”

“No.I’mtryingtounderstandit.Therearewaystokeepheroutofharm’swayandstillhavea

relationshipwithyou.”

“Wenevergotalongwell.AndyouknowwhatitwaslikebetweenmeandJess.”

Herbodylanguage.Herdemeanor.Hermood.Christinewasn’tignoringSusannahonpurpose.She

wasdesperatetomakecontact.Herinsecuritywasguidingherdecisionmaking,andnotingoodways.

Justhowmuchhadsheinternalizedovertheyears?“Chrissy,you’renotabadmother.”

“TheywerebothsoclosetoTom,”shesaidquietly.“Hewasaphenomenalfather.LikeNick.”

“Nickywasagreatdaddy.ButJack’sdoneallright.”

“Hehas,”Christinesaid.“BetterthanIwouldhavethought.Butthegirlswerealwayssomuchcloser

toThomasthantheyweretome.”Shehuggedapillowtoherchest.“Iwasterrifiedwhenthethreeofus

firstgothere,becauseIknewyouhadbeencountingonthefactthatitwouldbebothmeandTom.”

“Thingsdon’talwaysworkoutasplanned.That’swhyIchoseyou,Chrissy.Iknewyou’dfindaway

tomakeitworkregardlessofthecircumstances.You’restrongandsmart,andmychildrentrustyou.

That’senough.”

“IwishIhadmetsomeonelikeyouwhenIwasinmedicalschool.”

“What,whenIwaslike,ten?”

Christinelaughedsoftly.“No,ifwe’dbeenthesameage.Andifyou’dbeenaroundwhenSusannah

wasborn.MaybemychildrenwouldhaveturnedoutbetterifI’dhadthatkindofinfluence.”

Exceptsometimesherinfluencewasshit.“Yeah,throwingyourchildrentothewolvesisgood

mothering.”

“Punky,youdidwhatyouhadtodo.Haven’tyoulearnedanythingthepastcoupleofdays?They’re

fantastickids.Andthey’resomuchlikeyou.”

Suchanicethingforafriendtosay.Carolinecouldalmostbelieveher.“I’mnotsurewhatmakesa

goodparent,butsomuchofitistrialanderror.Noneofusknowwhatwe’redoingatfirst.Idon’tknow

whatI’mdoingnow,almosttwentyyearsafterIstarted.Motherhoodisaslowdancetowardinsanity,

Chrissy.Youdon’tknowwhetheryou’refuckingupornot.AndlookhowSusannahturnedout.Lookatthe

kindofpersonJesswas.Kidsdon’tgetthatwaybyaccident.”

“TomandIonlygotmarriedbecauseIwaspregnant,”Christinesaidbluntly.

Carolinehadn’texpectedthattransition.Notquiteyet.Shecertainlydidn’twanttoadmitshe’d

alwayssuspectedasmuch.

Christinetwistedherhandsinherlap.“Ialmostmadeaterribledecisionbeforethat.”

Wasshesupposedtopursuethat,orletChristinetakethelead?Carolinewentwiththelatter,nodding

silently.

“I’venevertoldanyonethis,”Christinewhispered.“Ilivedmyentirepoliticallifefearingthetruth

wouldcomeout.”

Shemightnotwanttoprodher,butCarolinedidn’twantChristinetopushherselfovertheedge.

They’dsharedsomanysecrets,withscoresinreserve.Maybetheyneededabreak.“Chrissy-”

“Myhusbandwastheonlyonewhoeverknew.”

Thenagain,maybeChristineneededtotellsomeone.Someonewhowaspresent.Whoknewher.Who

wouldbethereifsheneededit.“Whathappened?”Carolineaskedsoftly.

“ImetThomasrightafterwestartedmedicalschool,”Christinesaid.“Helikedmerightaway.I

don’tknowwhy.IwasanevenbiggerbitchthenthanIamnow.”Sheheldupafinger.“Don’tbother

correctingme.”

Carolineswallowedthecomplimentshe’dplanned.“Okay.”

“Itdidn’thurtthatIwasrelativelygood-looking,”Christinesaid.“Idon’tsaythattobeegotistical.I

knowthat’sthemainreasonmenfoundmeinteresting.Itcertainlywasn’tbecauseIhadagood

personality.”

“Ilikeyourpersonality,”Carolinesaid.

“Youwouldn’thave,backthen.Iwasalarminglyambitious.Fullofmyself.Tomdidn’tcareabout

that.Westarteddatingalmostassoonaswestartedclasses.”

“I’mnotallthatgoodofaCatholicgirl,”Christinecontinued.“Nomatterwhatyouthink,nomatter

howThomasjokedaboutit.OnenightaftersomeholidaypartyheandI–well,weforgottotake

precautions.Wewerecompletelyblitzed.Itwassuchaclichéthatonemistakecouldresultinan

unplannedpregnancy.Ipanicked.IfigureditoutoverWinterBreakandwasterrifiedmyparentswould

discoverthetruth.Ialmostdidn’ttellTom.”

CarolinesqueezedChristine’sshoulder.“Whatmadeyoutellhim?”

“Thomaswasalwaysabetterpersonthanme.Always.Ididn’tthinkitwasfairtokeepitfromhim.

ButallIkeptthinkingwas–Iwentthroughsomuchtogethere.Iscrapedandscrabbledandworkedmy

assoffthenwentandfuckeditallbygettingmyselfknockedup.Myfatherwouldhaveneverletmehear

theendofit,becauseheknewdamnwellI’dendupafailureeventually.WhatwasIsupposedtodo?I

wasn’tevensurehowIfeltaboutTom.”Hervoicebroke.“Buthelovedmealready.”

“Hehelpedmemaketheappointment,”shesaidquietly.“Hedrovemetotheclinic.Itwassocold

thatday.ItwasnastyoutbutIwantedtogetitoverwith.I’dalreadylostenoughsleepandknewifI

didn’tdoitsoonI’dneverbeabletogothroughwithit.Ikeptmyhandonthedoorhandle.Iwasreadyto

goinside,butcouldn’tquitebringmyselftogetoutofthecar.ItoldhimIdidn’twanthimtocomeinwith

me,andhewasupsetaboutthat.Andthenhegrabbedmyarmandtoldmenottodoit,thathewantedto

marryme.”

“Ithoughthewaskidding.Wewerebarelyafewmonthsin.Wehardlykneweachother.Wehadthe

restofmedicalschool,residencies,studentloanpayments,allthosefaroffburdensyoutrynottodwell

onwhenyou’reyoungandimpulsive.Andweweregoingtosaddleourselveswithamarriagebasedon

flawedcircumstances,withachildneitherofuswasequippedtocarefor?ThenIlookedathim,atthe

unconditionalloveinhiseyes.AndIknewIcouldn’tgothroughwithit.IfIdidI’dneverbeableto

forgivemyselfbecauseofwhatitwouldhavedonetohim.”Christinestartedcrying.“Ididn’teventhink

aboutthelifegrowinginsideme.CanyouimaginewhatSusannahwoulddoifsheknew?I’msovery

selfish.Idon’tdeserveanyofyou.I’materriblehypocrite.”

Well,yes.Butwhowasn’t?“We’reallhypocrites,”Carolinesaid.“Weallmakemistakes.And

sometimespeoplekeepusfrommakingthemevenworse.Maybethat’swhyTomwastheoneforyou.Did

youeverthinkofthat?”

“Sometimes.”

“Nomatterwhichchoiceyoumade,itwouldhavebeentherightone.Youshouldn’tdwellonwhat

mighthavebeen.That’swhyhavingthechoiceissocritical.”

Christinesmiled.“I’mimpressedbyyourrestraint.Iexpectedanextendedlecture.”

“Withcharts?”Carolineasked.

“Iwouldn’tputanythingpastyou.”

Carolinecouldworkinthemeritsofbodilyautonomyandreproductiverightssomeothertime.

Maybeoncetheysortedoutalltheotherissuespreventingfreedomfromflowering.“Youhadthechoice.

Youwrestledwithit.Yousettledonthebestdecisionforyouinlightofallthecircumstances.Idon’tsee

howIcouldlectureyouforthat.”

“You’retoomagnanimous.”Christinestaredatherhands.“SometimesIwonderifTomwouldhave

marriedmewithouttheprospectofanunplannedpregnancy.”

Jesus.Herdemonswerestartingtoeatthemselves.“Chrissy,comeon.Tomadoredyou.”

“Iknow.Ijustwonderifitwasbasedonforcedcircumstanceorgenuinedesire.”

“Doesitmatter?”

Christineshookherhead.“Weelopedthenextweekend.Wefudgedthedatessonoonewould

suspect,butIthinkmyparentsknew.Susannahprobablyhashersuspicions.”

“Butyoumadeitthrough.”

“Barely.Thosefirstfewyearsweresohard,mostlybecauseofme.Ishouldhavenevercriticized

yourrelationshipwithJack.IspentmyentirelifepassingjudgmentwhenIhadnorightto.”

Ah,evenmoreenlightenment.TheirconversationsweregettingtobedownrightZen.They’dbeen

huggingalotlatelybutthiswasonetimewhenherbestfriendneededtobeheld.Carolinewrappedher

armsaroundher.“Chrissy,humanbeingsarebydefinitionflawedandimperfect.Youthinkyou’rethefirst

persontodothat?I’vedoneittoo.”

“Itdoesn’tmatter.Mylifeisalie.”

Perhapsjustaslightoverdramatization.“No,it’snot.Youdon’thavetoapologizeforbeingwhoyou

are.You’vemadeallyourdecisions,goodorbad,withlove.Igetthat.I’msureJackwouldunderstand

too.”

“Oh,IalreadyapologizedtoJack.Itwasalongtimecoming.”

Shewouldhavedamnnearsoldhersoultobeintheroomwhenthathadhappened.Carolinerested

herchinonChristine’sshoulder.“It’sbeenalongnight.ButIwanttomakesureyouknowsomething.I

meanteverythingIsaidwhenItoldyouabouttheguardianship.You’remysister.Iwouldnothavetrusted

youwiththatresponsibilityifIdidn’tbelieveyouwouldteachmydaughterstobekind,loving,decent

humanbeings.Iloveyouforit.Ialwayswill.So,dammit,Idon’teverwanttohearanydiffident

anecdotesaboutyourmotheringskillseveragain.”

“But-”

“Nope.Neveragain.Nopityparties.You’reafantastichumanbeing.Idon’tpickfriendswhosuck.

Stopblamingyourselfforeverything.”

ChapterEighteen

Carolinelikednothavingtoworryaboutthings.AmeetingwiththePrimeMinisterandtheAmerican

ex-patleadershipwassetforthenextday.Sheandherfamilyweresafelyensconcedinalocked-down

apartmentbuilding.HerbodyguardswerereceivingadditionaltrainingfromthePrimeMinister’ssecurity

detail.

She’dspentthenightinJack’sarms.Warm.Safe.Comforting.Physicalaffectionwassoreassuring,

soright.Rechargingheremotionalbatteriesinthemosteffectiveway.Itwashardtogetoutofbedthe

followingmorning.Butthensherememberedshewaswithherfamilyandneededtotakeadvantagewhile

shecould.ThatmeantsheandJackwerefreetorelaxwiththeirchildrenfortheafternoonandevening,

allwhileleavingthesilentquestionunanswered.Theelephantintheroom.Thetensionthat,thoughlatent,

wasgrowing.Everyonecouldfeelitbutnoonecommentedonit.WhenMargueriteandSophiesloughed

offtobedthatnight,shehadheropening.

CarolinesatdownatthekitchentablewithJackandChristine.“Youshouldmakesomecoffee,

Chrissy.Itmaybealongnight.”

Christinetookherhand.“You’vebeenjitteryallday.What’sbotheringyou?”

Everything.CarolineturnedtoJack.“HowsafewouldChrissyandthegirlsbeiftheywerewith

us?”

“YoumeanhereorinCalifornia?”

Hehadtoseetheroadshewasgoingdown.“Both,butmostlyonbase.”

“Safeenough.Saferthanhere.”

Shedidn’twanttocry.Despitealltheemotionsgrippingherheart,mostofhertearslatelyhadbeen

tolerable.Butalittlesnuffleslippedoutanyway.ItwasenoughtomakeChristinegripherhandabit

tighter.

“Iknowit’salottoask,”Carolinesaid.“ButIcan’t–thepastfewdayshavebeenwonderful.Idon’t

thinkIcanleaveyouandthegirls.Ireallydon’t.ButI–thatis,JackandI–wecan’tstayhereeither.

Chrissy,howattachedareyoutothisplace?”

Theotherwoman’seyesgotbright.“Iwanttogohome.Allthreeofusdo.”

“Californiaisn’thome,”Carolinesaid.“Notreally.”

“ItisifI’mwithyou,”Christinesaidsoftly.

Carolinesniffled.“Sometimesyouinadvertentlysayespeciallynicethings.Didyouknowthat?”

Christinelaughed,thetearsinhereyesspillingover.“I’vebeengettingbetteratitlately.”

“Whataboutyourleadershipposition?Yourotherresponsibilities?”

“Rogercantakeover.Briancanhelp.Wecantalktothemaboutittomorrow.Mybiggestobligation

hasalwaysbeentoyouandyourchildren.Idon’tneedanythingthat’shere.”

CarolinelookedoveratJack,whowasrubbinghisforehead.“Iprobablyshouldhavetoldyou

beforeIsprungitonbothofyoulikethis.”

Hesmiledgently.“I’vealreadymadesomecalls.”

Wasshethatpredictable?“Really?”

“Yougavemealittlehintyesterdaywhenwechatted.”JackturnedtoChristine.“Imayhavetoldour

medicalpersonneltheycouldbeexpectinganotherdoctorsoon.”

“I’mnotsurehowqualifiedIamtotakeonthatkindofrole.”

“Itwouldbemarginal,”Jacksaid.“Mostlyfillinginwhenneedednowandagain.Youcouldhelpout

thewayyouhavehere,andassistusinmakingstrategicplanningdecisionsandconductingoutreachto

potentialallies.Sincewe’veallbutoutedourselves,itmakessenseforyoutobewithus.Wehavea

betterchanceofkeepingyousafe.”

“IsthisaboutthatjackassMurdockpullingthewoolovermyeyes?”

Ugh.Carolinehadtriedtoputhimatthebackofhermind.Closurewasalong,tediousjourney.

“No,”shesaid.“He’sanass,he’sasociopath,andhewouldhavefooledanyone.Ihopehisflighthada

tonofturbulence.”

Christinenarrowedhereyes.“JeffreyMurdockisamotherfuckerandIhopehedropshissoapinthe

showerandreceiveseverythingthatcomesalongwiththatstereotype.”

“ChristineSpencerSullivan!”Carolineexclaimed.“Sucha…vulgaryetremarkablydiplomatic

joke.”

“I’mwritingthatonedown,”Jacksaid.

“I’mnotsureyou’veeverusedthatwordbefore,Chrissy.”

“Myvocabularyhasexpanded,”shesaid.“I’mnotsureit’sanimprovement.”

Itwasadefiniteimprovement.“It’shilarious.”

“You’vethoughtaboutthis,”ChristinetoldCaroline.“Uscomingwithyou.You’vethoughtaboutita

lot.Haven’tyou?”

Sincethemomentshe’dentertainedthepossibilitytheywerealive.“Yes.”

“I’llbehonest,Punky.Iwashopingyou’dbringthisup.”

Christinearguablywouldhaveneverraisedthetopicherself.“Willyouconsiderit?”Carolineasked.

“Iknowthegirlswanttobewithus.”

“Ifwecomewithyou,Margueritemaydemandtojoinyourcorpsofsoldiers.”

She’dcrossthatbridgewhenshegottoit.“I’dratherhaveherunderourwatchthanrunningoffinthe

deadofnighttodoGodknowswhat.Ourbaseisremarkablysafe.Wecanmakeitwork.”Caroline

lookedatJack.“IhaveitongoodauthoritythatCommanderMcIntyrehastheabilitytokeeppeopleunder

homeconfinementiftheycausetrouble.”

“Isthiswhat’sbestforyou?”Christinewhispered.“Forthemovement?”

Itdidn’tmatteranymore.“Chrissy,Ican’tsaygoodbyetoyouagain.Tothegirls.I-”Carolineputher

headinherhands.

“Youneedtocomewithus,Christine,”Jacksaidquietly.“Ican’tthinkofanyalternativethatwon’t

involveusdoingirreparabledamagetoourselves.”

“Youdon’tneedtosayanything,Jack.Iloveyourentirefamily.Includingyou.AndI’mnotletting

youleavewithoutus.We’regoingandthat’sallthereistoit.”ChristinepattedCaroline’sshoulder.

“Doesthatmeetwithyourapproval?”

CarolinesatupandthrewherarmsaroundChristine.“Whatdoyouthink?”

“Well,I’llbedamned.Nowondersecuritywassotight.”BrianCapwellextendedahand.“Jack.”

“Didn’texpecttoseeus,didyou?”Jackasked.

“Us?”Brianglancedaroundtheroom.“Whoelseiswithyou?”WhenhiseyesrestedonCarolinehe

blinked.Once,twice,threetimes,beforeliftingCarolineupinagiantbearhug.

“Heneverhugsmelikethat,”Christinesaid.

“Ibarelygotahandshake.”Jackcrossedhisarms.“Idon’tknowhowtofeelaboutthat.”

“Where’sRoger?”Carolineasked,whenBrianloweredhertothefloor.

“Righthere,”hesaid,breezingintotheroom.“Apologies.Traffic.Andwho-”Hetookastepback,

hisexpressionchanging.“Mygoodness.”

“Shegetsthatalot,”Jacksaid.

“Holyhell,”Rogersaid.“Bothofyou?”

Jackshookhishand.“Ifyou’regoingtohugCaroline,justgetitoverwith.”

RogergavehimapatonthebackbeforekissingCaroline’scheek.“ApparentlyI’mtheonlypersonin

thisroomwhoknowshowtobehaveprofessionally.”

“How’syourwife?”Carolineasked.“Andyourkids?”

“Fine,fine,”hesaid.“That’snotwhywe’rehere.Shit,Ican’tbelievethis.Therebellionisreal.And

you’re…”

“Notdead?”Carolineoffered.

Brianchuckled.“IwasabouttosaythesamethingbeforeRogerblazedinhere.”Hegaveheranother

hug.“Boy,amIgladtoseeyou.”

“Reallystartingtofeelleftout,”Jacksaid.

Christinesweptintooneofthechairsattheconferencetable.“Getusedtoit.Carolineisgoingto

overshadowallofustoday.Denis,what’stheplan?”

“IfiguredJackandCarolinewouldtakethelead,”hesaid.“I’mhappytoprovideadvicebutthey’re

theoneswhoknowwhattherebellionneedsthemost.”

“Troops,”Jacksaidinstantly.“Militaryweapons,aircraft,andsupport.Intelligencecompilationand

analysis.Bodiesontheground.Spies.”

Denislaughed.“Okay,okay.Messagereceived.Anythingandeverything.”

“That’snotquiteaccurate,”Carolinesaid.“WehavepeopleinfiltratingtheSantosWhiteHouse.The

Hagueknowswhathe’sbeendoing.Youknowbasedontheleakeddocuments.Whatweneedishelpfor

thatfinalpush–ifandwhenwemakeanassaultonWashington.”

“Fullscaleinvasion?”Brianasked.

“I’dprefernot,”Carolinesaid.“Hehasthenuclearcodes.Ithastobemoresubtle.Troopson

standbyaregreat,butifwemarchintoD.C.withthousandsandthousandsofsoldiers,welosewhatever

advantagewehave.”

“Here’sthebottomline,”Jackadded.“He’sunpredictable,alwayshasbeen.We’vehadahardtime

gettingareadonhim.Butit’ssafetoassumehe’sonthecuspoffiguringoutthateveryAmericaninthis

roomisstillalive.Thatmakesusalltargets.”

“RepresentativeCapwellandSenatorBaileywillbegivenanupgradeinsecurity,”Denissaid.

“AlongwithSenatorSullivan,ofcourse.”

“Thatwon’tbenecessary,”Jacksaidsmoothly.“Christineandthegirlswillbetravelingbackto

Californiawithus.”

“Congratulations,gentlemen.”Christinedrapedherarmsoverthechairsoneithersideofher.“You

twoareincharge.”

Brianshrugged.“Roger,I’mhappytohandthereinstoyou.I’mquitecontentjustsittinginon

meetingsanddoodlingonanotepad.”

“Youtwocandivvyupresponsibilitieslater,”Denissaid.“Inthemeantime,Parliamentisprepared

toauthorizetroopsinalliancewiththeAmericanrebelsinCalifornia.I’vereachedouttosomeofmy

counterpartsinEuropeandthey’rewillingtoprovidethesameassistance.Allyouhavetodoissaythe

word.”

“Itmaybemoreofalogisticalissue,”Carolinesaid.“Ifsomethingweretohappen,ifSantoswereto

beremovedfromofficeorifacoupweretooccur,we’dneedextrasupporttomaintainorderwhilethe

systemisrepaired.”

“Theironiesoflife,”Christinemurmured.“Martiallawtoprotectfreedom.”

“Gottadowhatyougottado,”Carolinesaid.“Youknowyourhistory.Youknowpolitics.Ashort

periodofinterventionisfarpreferabletopermanenttotalitarianism.”

“ThisiswhyCarolineisourspokesperson,”Jacksaid.“Shemakestoomuchdamnsense.”

“Whateveryouneed,”Denissaid.“Wewilldowhateverwecantomakeithappen.It’stothebenefit

ofusallfortheU.S.toresumeasenseofnormalcy.Thisdisruptionaffectstrade,immigration,global

humanitarianpolicy,everything.EvenifSenatorSullivanisinCalifornia,ouramenablerelationshipwill

continue.”

“I’llmakesuresheremainsyourmainpointofcontact,”Jacksaid.

Denisstoodup.“Ithinkthat’sallweneedtodiscussfornow.”Hepulledabagofchocolateoutof

hispocket.“Onefortheroad,Ms.Gerard?”

ChapterNineteen

“Nicefatigues,”Christinesaid.

Carolinetwirledaround.“Theyareflattering,aren’tthey?”

“Pleasedon’ttellmeyouhaveaberet.”

Shepulleditoutofherbackpocket.“Ido,infact.”

“Youcouldborrowanothersuit.”

Carolineadjustedherberetandholsteredhergun.“Notwithuscrossingatarmac.Mucheasierto

reacttosomethingwhileproperlyoutfitted.”

Gigpokedhisheadin.“GotyourAR,Gerard.”

Christinescowled.“NowyoulooklikePattyHearst.”

Carolineexaminedherweapon.“Oh,Idonot.Herhatwaswaybiggerthanmine.PlusIdon’tplanon

robbinganybanks.”

Christinelookedexceedinglyuncomfortable,followingCarolineoutintothelivingroom.“Isthis

reallynecessary?”

“It’scompletelynecessary,”Jacksaid,handingherabulletproofvest.“Wearen’ttakinganychances.

Wearthis.”

Christinehelditbetweenherthumbandforefinger,likeadirtydiaper.“You’vegottobekidding

me.”

“No,ma’am,”Crunchsaid.“Securityistightbutyoucanneverbetoocareful.Youcantakeitoff

onceyougetontheplane.”

“Thisisridiculous.”

“Ialreadyputoneon,”Margueritesaid.“Theywouldn’tgivemeagun,though.”

“Sophiehasavesttoo,”Carolinesaid,beforeChristinecouldask.“Mayaswellsuckitupandputit

on.Stayclosetomeoncewegettotheairport.Idon’thavetimetofindanothersuitableguardian.”

“Fine.”Christineunbuttonedhersuitjacket.“I’lljustnotethatunlikeyou,I’mdressedappropriately

forairtravel.”

MargueritenudgedCaroline’sshoulder.“Youroutfitlooksfinetome.WhendoIgetmyBDUs?”

“Never,”Jacksaid.“Takealltheclothesyouhavehere.That’senough.”

“Carsjustarrived,”Jonessaid.“Youreadytogo?”

Soonthey’dbehome.Or,asclosetoahomeastheyhad.Carolinecheckedherweapononefinal

time.“Yep.”

“I’mgladyousatnexttome,”Sophiesaid.

“Stillnotafanofflying?”Carolineasked.

“Notreally.”

Geneticdeficiency,evidently.Woulditbeinappropriatetoofferherchildananxietypill?She’dhad

todelaytakinghersuntiltheyboardedtheplane,sinceshewantedtobeclearheadedwhilecarryinga

rifle.“It’llbefine.Beenagoodfewdays,huh?”

“Yeah.”SophieliftedupherarmrestandsnuggledintoCaroline,bringingbackmemoriesofwhen

shewasyounger.“Theflightisn’ttoolong,right?”

“We’llbetherebeforeyouknowit.”

“I’mexcitedaboutgoingtoCalifornia.”

“It’llbegoodtohaveyoutherewithus,”Carolinewhispered.“ButnexttimeMogetstodominatemy

time.”

“Iguessso.Herbirthday’scomingup.Shecanhavetheentiredaywithyou.”

Whatathrilltolookforwardtoholidaysandspecialoccasionsandwanttocelebratethem.“Yours

willbeheresoonenough.”

“Dowegettodosomethingspecial?”

“Idon’tseewhynot.Wecouldallusealittlemorefun.”

Sophiesqueezedherhand.“Thepasttwoyearshavebeenprettylousy.”

Carolinetuggedatherseatbelt.Anxietymedicationcouldn’tdiffuseeverynervousticshehad.“I

hopetomakeupforitsoon.”

“Mom.”Sophiestraightenedup.“Youhavetostopfeelingsoguilty.”

“Ican’thelpit.Somuchhaschanged.Wedon’tevenhavethespacetoshareanapartmentwithyou.

I’dratherweallbetogether.”

“It’sfine.ThatmeansMoandIcanhavepartieseverynight,right?”

“Biteyourtongue.”

“CanIhavemyownplace?”

Carolinetweakedherear.“Youstillhavetoplaynice.”

“Fine.CanwegotoDisneylandformybirthday?”

Thekidwouldn’tquit.“Iwasthinkingmorealongthelinesofhomemadecakeandhangingoutbythe

lake.Somethingthat’sfeasible.Maybewecanshakeitupalittle.”Sheswallowedhard.“I’msorrywe

can’tdomore.”

“That’sokay,”Sophiewhispered.“Ijustwanttobewithyou.”

Carolineputherarmaroundherdaughter.“Ispentsomuchtimedreamingaboutyouandyoursister.

Wonderingwhatyou’dbelikeasyougotolder.You’rebothsomuchmorethanIeverimagined.”

Sophieleanedinforahardhug.“It’sokay,mommy.”

She’donlyusedthattermofendearmentafewtimes.Shewasfartoooldforit.ButCarolineknew

damnwellwhatitmeantwhenshesaidit.Shebrushedbackatear.“Iknow.I’msorry.”

Sophieheldhertighter.“CanIaskyousomething?”

“Anything.”

“Howbadwasit?”

They’ddancedaroundthetopicduringtheirlastdaysinOttawa.Carolinedidn’tknowifMarguerite

hadsharedsomeofherknowledgewithherlittlesister.Probablynot.“Reallybad,”shewhispered.

“I’msorry.”

“Nothingyoucandoaboutit.”Carolineshuddered.“Theworstpartwaswhentheytoldme–whenI

thoughtI’dlostyou.Ialmostgaveup.”

“Butyou’reherenow.”

“Iam.”

Sophieclosedhereyesandsniffledloudly.“Imissedyou.”

Carolinetuggedhercloserastheplanestartedtorolldowntherunway.“Wehavealotoftimeto

makeupfor.Ihopeyouwon’tgettiredofit.”

“Idon’tseethathappening.CanItakeanaponyourshoulder?”

SheplacedherberetonSophie’shead.“Sure.I’llwakeyouupwhenweland.”

“Iwanttotakeyoutomeetsomeone,”Carolinesaid.“Chrissyshouldcometoo.”

“Wejustgothere,”Margueritesaid.“Can’twegetsettledfirst?”

Therewasplentyoftimeforthat.Carolinewantedashowerandaheartymealbeforeshehelped

anyoneunpack.“Thiswon’ttakelong.Jackhastogetthekeystoyourapartmentanyway.”

“Wherearewegoing?”Sophieasked.

“Theinfirmary.It’sashortwalk.”

Margueritefrowned.“Afterthatcanwecomebackandhangout?”

Inotherwords,keepdoingwhatthey’ddoneinCanada.“Absolutely.”

Christinemotionedtowardtheplane.“Whataboutourbelongings?”

CarolinewavedatJones.“Imighthavebribedsomeonetocartyourluggagetoyournewresidence.”

“You’regoingtoforcemetolikeyourbodyguards,aren’tyou?”

“They’renottheonlyonesyou’regoingtobeforcedtolike.”

“Thatsoundsominous,”Margueritesaid.“Nowthatwe’reontherebelbase,areyouandJackgoing

togiveusordersandstuff?”

Shehadn’tthoughtofthat.Whatasplendididea.“Iverywellmight.IfIorderyounottotrainwith

theothersoldiers,willitwork?”

“Nope.”

Eh,itwasworthatry.“Here’sthedeal,”Carolinesaid.“Youcantrainwiththem,butthatmeansyou

dohavetoobeyanyordersJackandIgive,alongwithyourothercommandingofficers.Thatincludes

stayingputifneedbe.Understand?”

Margueritegaveheracrookedsalute.“Yes,ma’am.”

Carolinehelpedherdaughterstraightenherarm.“You’regoingtohavetoworkonthat.Nothingless

thanperfectionwhenitcomestoourrecruits.Comeon.”

Theinfirmarywasfairlyquiet.Butitwaslateafternoon,thesunwassetting,andtherewasaboutto

beashiftchange.CarolineknewwheretofindNatalie,doingpaperworkatoneofthenurses’stations.

Shedecidedtobealittleauthoritative,justforfun.“Workinghard,Isee.”

Nataliebroughtherheadup.“Heardyouwerecomingbacktoday.Nicehair.”

“Jackseemstothinkso.”

Nataliegaveherahug.“Ibet.Youdothatallbyyourself?”

“Themunchkinhelped.”

Sophiestuckhertongueout.“I’malmostfourteen,mom.”

Nataliesteppedoutfrombehindthedesk.“Sotheseareyourchildren?”

Carolinegaveherafaintsmile.“Yeah.”

Nataliecoveredhermouthwithherhand,puttingherarmaroundCaroline.“Theylookjustlikeyou.”

“Exceptforthehair.”

“Yes.Exceptforthehair.Whichlookssomuchbetterthanthatblondcrap.”

“They’llprobablyletyouhugthemifyouasknicely.”

NatalieturnedtoCaroline’seldestchild.“You’vegottobeMarguerite,”shesaid.“I’veheardso

muchaboutyou.”

MargueritecautiouslyshookNatalie’soutstretchedhand,lookingbackandforthbetweenhermother

andChristine.Yeah,thiswasprobablyalittleoverwhelming.“Allgoodthings,Iassume?”

“Ofcourse.”Natalieturnedtotheyoungerchild.“YoumustbeSophie.”

SophiethrewherarmsaroundNatalie.“Hi.”

“She’snotasshyassheusedtobe,”Carolinesaid.

Nataliereturnedthehug.“Icanseethat.”ShelookedoverSophie’sshoulder.“Andofcourseyou’re

Christine,”shesaid.

“Careful,”Carolinesaid.“Shebites.”

“Oh,Idonot.”Christineextendedherhand.“Nicetomeetyou.”

“Iunderstandyou’readoctor,too.”Nataliewinkedather.“Trustmetoshowyoutheropesaround

thisplace?”

“I’msureIcanfigureitoutonmyown.”

Damn.Cold,aloof,anddistant.HadChristineregressedontheflight?

Carolinepattedherarm.“Ofcourseyoucan,Chrissy.ButNatalieisawonderfulworkerbee.She’ll

haveyourunningtheshowinnotime.”

Christinestraightened.“I’mnotrushingintoanything.”Herexpressionsoftened,buthervoicedidn’t.

“I’msurewe’llgetalongjustfine.I’lltellNatalieallabouttherealyou.”

Oh.Thatwasit.Alittlebitofpossessiveness,whichwasfine.Losingconsciousnessandinsane

jealousyseemedlikeappropriatetokensoffriendshiptoCaroline.She’dtakethem.

“Isupposeyouneedtogetthemsettled,”Nataliesaid.“Callmelater?”

Carolinegaveheranotherhug.“Sure.”

Christineswipedafingeracrossthekitchencounter.“Thisiscleanenough.”

“Doyourequireahousekeeper?”

“I’llmanage.”

“Hardtoleavethosehighthreadcountsheetsbehind,wasn’tit?”

“Ibroughtthemwithme.”

Carolinecouldn’ttellifshewaskiddingornot.“Thisplaceisn’tsobad.You’llgetusedtoit.”

“I’mnotsureIwantto.Idon’twanttobecomecomplacent.”

“That’sdeep,Chrissy.Realdeep.”

“Gladyoucancatchmymetaphors.”ChristinekickedherfeetuponthecoffeetableasCaroline

laughed.“What?”

“Alreadyactinglikeyouowntheplace.You’regoingtointimidatethehelloutofeveryone.”

“AmIthatunapproachable?”

“Youscaretheshitoutofmemostofthetime.Evenwhenyou’retryingtopretendyou’reall

relaxed.”

“Really?”

Carolinesmiledbackather.“Notreally.ButIcanseehowotherpeoplecouldbefrightenedofyou.

You’reverydirect.”

“Soareyou.”

“Notinthesameway.”

“Natalieseemsquitevivacious.”

AwordCarolinehadn’theardinawhile,yetitapplied.Maybethiswasanopportunitytoremind

Christinetogiveherachance.“Sheis.Shegetsalongwitheveryone,too.”

Christinetappedherheelonthecoffeetable.“IfshelikesmeI’llfindhercharacterhighly

questionable.”

“Ilikeyou.DoesthatmeanIhavenomorals?”

“Nocomment.”

Carolineputherfeetuponthecoffeetable,playfullykickingatChristine’sshoes.“Nicepumps.”

“Don’teventhinkaboutmarkingthemupwiththoseterribleboots.”

“Iwon’t.”Shelaughed.“IreallylikenewChrissy.”

“Idotoo.”

Asoftkiss.Thenanother.Andanother.Carolinesatup,herbooktumblingtothefloor.“DidIfall

asleep?”

Jackkissedheragain.“Forabit.It’sokay.”

Notwhenshe’dbeenpromisedanightofwantonmaritalintercourse.“Whattimeisit?”

“Timetodonaughtythings.”Hetuggedatthecovers.“Areyounaked?”

“Iintendedtogetdressedafterdoingalittlereading.Guessmyeyesgottired.”

“Iseenoneedforclothes.”Henippedatherneck.“You’resogoddamnbeautiful,Caroline.”

“Justfondlemyhairandgetitoverwith.”

Hepattedherhead.“Oh,thethingsIcoulddotoyou.”

“Areyoutalkingtomeorthehair?”

Jackpinnedherdownonthebed.“Both.”

Carolinetriedtotalkinbetweenkisses.“Youknow,”shesaid.“Thehairthingisweird.”

“Hush.”

“Imean,it’sjustacolor,right?”

Jackproppedupononeelbow.“Youdon’tfeeldifferent?”

“AmIactingdifferent?”

Hepinnedherdownagain.“You’vebeenassertiveashell.Hastobethehair.”

Maybeitwasmorethanappearance.Maybeitwasjustbeingherselfagain,slowlybutsteadily.But

ifhethoughtitwasthehair,sobeit.“Iloveyou,”shewhispered.

“AndImissedyou,”hesaid.“Haven’thadmuchalonetimelately.”

Sheunbuttonedhisshirt.“Arewegoingtomakeupforthat?”

“Allnight,ifIhaveanythingtosayaboutit.”

Shedidn’twanthimtosayanotherworduntilhewasnakedandinsideher,sosheletherhandsdo

thetalking.Thelittletouches.Theteases.Slippingherfingersunderhiswaistband,undoinghispants,

relishingeverybitofforeplay.Carolinekissedthetopofhishand,nearhisweddingring.“Iwantthis

back.”

“Gettinglaidmightmakemeamenabletothatrequest.RightnowI’menjoyingareminderofwhyI’m

sodamnhappyit’sonmyfingerinthefirstplace.”Herestedonhishaunches,peelingthecoversaway

fromher.“Stillyearningforanotherspanking?”

Shespreadherlegs.“I’vegototherthingsinmind.”

Jacklickedhislips.“SodoI.”

ChapterTwenty

Margueritebegansomebasicmilitarytrainingontheconditionshekeepupwithherschoolworkand

cooperatewithanyordersshewasgiven,eveniftheywerecontrarytoherwishes.Whichwas,frankly,in

linewithproperprotocol.IfJackandCarolineindulgedheralittle,maybeshe’dstoppersistently

requestingtobeassignedtoacombatunit.

Sophiemaintainedherstudiesaswell,withChristineandNataliehelpingwithlessonswhenthey

weren’tonduty.Christinehadauniqueschedule–shespenthalfhertimewithCarolineandJackasa

liaisonandadvisor,andtheotherhalfoncallattheinfirmary.SheandthegirlsstoppedbyCarolineand

Jack’sapartmenteverynighttocatchupontheday’sactivitiesandforgettheirworriesforanhourortwo.

“Savoiecontactedmetoday,”Christinesaidonenightafterdinner.“Internationalsupportisgrowing.

He’llbesendingsomeencrypted,classifieddocumentstoSchroedertomorrowmorning.Ithinkhewants

todeployafewCanadianmilitarypersonnelhere,ifthatmeetswithyourapproval.”

“I’llaskJack,”Carolinesaid.“Butitmakessense.We’llhavethemcoordinatewithourguys

accumulatingdatainWashington.Schroederhasn’tsaidmuch,butIgetthefeelingsomethingbighasbeen

happening.I’daskformoredetailsbutheneverlikestotellusanythingunlessit’smorereliablethan

not.”

“Beenburnedalot?”

“WhenJackfirstgothere,therewasatonofbadintelcomingthrough.Contradictorystuff.Giving

unrealistichopeonedayanddashingitthenext.ThesenioradvisorsfounditfrustratingsoSchroeder

startedscreeningitbetter.Separatingthewheatfromthechaff.Ittookawhiletofindreliablepeople,

makesuretheywereintherightspots,thatsortofthing.”

“Youseemtoknowalotaboutthis.”

“Notenough.MaybeifI’ddonemorewhenwewereinHarrisburg-”

Christinewavedherhand.“Don’tgetstartedonthatagain.Nopointinfocusingonthepast.Youcan’t

undoit.Youcanonlymoreforward.”

“ThatsoundslikesomethingNataliewouldsay.”

Christineavertedhereyes.“Well,I’vebeentalkingtoheralotlately.”

“Like,officially?”

“Inatherapeuticcapacity,yes.”

Thatwasatadsurprising.“And?”

“It’sbeenhelping.”

Nataliewouldbekind.Andgentle.AndChristinewouldhaveresponded.“I’mglad.”

“Ithinkyoushouldknow,though.ItoldherduringourfirstsessionthatIhadyoufirstsoshecan’tgo

thinkingshe’ssupplantedmeoranything.”

“Youdidnotsaythat.”

“Idid.”

Wow,shewasn’tjoking.Carolinewasn’tsurewhethertobeflatteredoramused.“Iguessthat’s

progress.Youtalkingaboutyourfeelingsandall.”

“Iguess.”Christinerubbedherforehead.“Wehadaninterestingdiscussiontoday.NataliethinksI

shouldcontactSusannah.”

Madesense.Dr.HaddadwouldhavedoneherbesttoconvinceChristinethathersilenceoverthe

pasttwoyearshadbeenmoreofaburdenthanablessing.ForbothherandSusannah.“JackandIhavea

secureline.Youcouldcallher.”

“Iknow.Ihavehernumber.Ijust-”

Shewasnervousthoughshehadnoneedtobe.“She’sgoingtobehappytohearfromyou,”Caroline

said.“Youknowsheis.”

“YouhavealotmoreconfidencethanIdo.”

“Justcallher.You’llfeelbetter.”

“She’satworkrightnow.”

Carolineglancedattheclockacrosstheroom.“Huh,wearekeepinglatehours.It’swhat,anine

hourdifference?”

“Yes.”Christinehesitated.“Iwashopingyou’dcallherforme.”

Howthehellwasshegoingtoswingthat?“Chrissy,Idon’tthinkthat’sappropriate.Youshouldcall

her.”

Christinelookedalittlesheepish.“No,that’snotwhatImean.YouspeakFrench.Whatifsomeone

elseanswers?Iwon’tknowwhattosay.Literally.”

She’dprobablybeabletofumblethroughacall.“Isthistheonlyreasonyouhungoutwithme

tonight?”

“Caroline,donotmakemesmackyou.IknowIhavejokedaboutitbeforebutthistimeIreallymean

it.”

Therapycouldn’tcureeverything;Carolineknewthat.Christinewaslegitimatelyterrifiedabout

speakingtoherdaughter.Itwouldbewrongtopokefunatherfurther.“Okay,”shesaid.“Givemethe

numberalready.IhopeIrememberhowtoparle.”

Christinerummagedaroundinherpurse,pullingoutasmallslipofpaper.“Everythingiscorrect,

includingcountrycode.”

Carolinepickedupthephoneandrangthenumber.“It’sconnecting.”

“Willanyonewonderwhythehellyou’recallingFrance?”

Schroedermonitoredtherecords.He’daskquestionsifsomethingappearedoff.“I’mgoodattalking

mywayoutofstuff.”

AperkyvoicepickeduponthethirdringandspokeinramblingFrench.Carolinerackedherbrain,

tryingtorememberbasicpleasantries.Christinegrabbedherhandasshespoke.

“Bonjour,”Carolinesaid,tryingtokeephervoicefromshaking.“EstSusannahRosenthal

disponible,s'ilvousplaît?”

Theperkyvoicegrewabitmoreprofessional.“Puis-jeluidirequiappelle?”

Crap.Theyprobablyshouldhavedrawnupaplanbeforecallingwilly-nilly.Carolinecoveredthe

phone.“Hersecretarywantstoknowwho’sontheline,”shewhispered.“WhatdoIsay?”

Christineshookherheadbackandforth.Christ,shereallywasnervous.“Idon’twanttosayit’sme.”

“Whythehellnot?You’dbettergivemeananswerorI’mgoingtosayit’sMommieDearest.”

“AngelaDaring.That’soneofherbestfriendsfromlawschool.”

“HerlastnameisreallyDaring?”

“Justhushandtellthatwomanbeforeshehangsuponyou,”Christinesaid.

Carolinegotbackonthephone.“AngelaDaring,”shesaidbreathlessly.“Del'écolededroit.”

Thereceptionist’stonewasalittlelesswelcomingthistime.“Unmoment,”shesaid,andputheron

hold.

“Shit,”Carolinesaid.“ShemightknowI’mbullshittingher.”

“You’redoinggreat.”

“IshouldhavetotallysaidMommieDearest.”

“Quiet.”

Theholdmusicendedandaflustered,familiarvoicestartedspeakingtoherinrapidFrench.

Carolinecouldn’tquitemakeoutwhatwasbeingsaid.SomethingaboutBermudaandharassmentand

somethingelseshecouldn’tquitecatch.ItsoundedsuspiciouslyclosetotheFrenchexpressionfora

femaledog.Insteadoftryingtofollowshedecidedtointerrupt.

“Susannah,stop,”shesaid.

“Excuseme?”Susannahasked.“Whoisthis?Iknowit’snotAngela.Whatdoyouwant?I’msickof

beingbotheredbyyoupeople.”

“Whatisshesaying?”Christinewhispered.

Carolinewavedheroff.“She’supsetaboutsomething.”

“Whoareyoutalkingto?”Susannahasked.“Whoisthis?”

Shehadtotellthetruth,eventhoughitsoundedlikeSusannahwasabouttohanguponher.“It’s

Caroline,”shesaid.

“Excuseme?”

“Youknowwhoitis.Yourecognizemyvoice.”

“Thisisn’tfunny.Iwantyoupeopletoleavemealone.”

“Pleasedon’thangup.It’sme,Caroline.Look,Ihavesomeoneherewhowantstotalktoyou.”She

grabbedChristine’shand.“It’sveryimportantthatyoulistentome.Areyouonasecureline?”

“Ithinkso.But-”

“Doyoubelieveme?”

“Adeadwomaniscallingmyphone.So,notsomuch.”

SusannahhadinheritedChristine’scharacteristiccandor.“I’mnotdead,”Carolinesaid.“It’salong

story.Who’sbeenharassingyou?”

“HowdoIknowIcantrustyou?”

CarolineclosedhereyesasChristinesqueezedherhand.“BecauseI’msittingnexttoyourmother.”

Hervoicechanged.“Thatisn’tfunny.Idon’tknowwhothisis,but-”

“Pleaseletmeputheronthephone.Shereallywantstotalktoyou.”

CarolinepulledthephoneawayfromherearasSusannah’svoicecontinuedtorise.“Mymotheris

dead,”shesaid.

“No,she’snot.Please,justhearmeout.”CarolinehandedthephonetoChristine.“Goahead,

Chrissy.”

“Ican’t-”

“Doitbeforesheslamsthephonedown.Seriously.”

Christineputthephonetoherear.“Susannah?”shesaidquietly.“It’smom.”Shereachedfor

Caroline’shandagainandstartedsqueezingiteventighterthanshehadbefore.“Don’thangup.Please.”

Shewassilentforamoment.CarolinecouldmakeoutSusannah’svoice,butnotthewords.

“No,it’sme,”Christinewhispered.“I’msorryIdidn’tcallearlierbut…Idon’thavealotoftimeto

explainit.Idon’twanttosaytoomuchincaseyou’rebeingwatched.ButIwantedtoletyouknowIwas

safe.”Shelistenedforanothermomentandbitherlip.“No,Susie.DaddyandJessaren’twithme.

They’re…nothereanymore.”Anotherpause.“Yes.I’msorry.”

Itwasashortconversation,maybetenorfifteenminutes.ChristinewasgrippingCaroline’shandso

tightlythatshethoughtshemightbreakabone.Carolinetriednottoeavesdropbutstillcaughtdetails

aboutgrandchildren.AboutlifeinParis.Aboutmissinghome.AndshewouldhavelovedtoletChristine

keeptalkingallnight,butsafetywasalwaysparamount.ShemotionedforChristinetowrapitup.

“Ihavetogo,”Christinesaid.“I’msorryIcan’ttalklonger.Butitmightnotbesafe.Ihopeyou

understand.”Hervoicebroke.“Iloveyou.”ShehandedthephonebacktoCaroline.“Shewantstotalkto

you,”shesaid,andstartedcrying.

Carolineputthephonetoherear.“Susannah?Areyoustillthere?”

Susannahtookadeepbreath.“It’sreallyyou,isn’tit?”

Carolineletoutagiddylaugh.SheandSusannahweren’tclosebutshesoundedsohappyshe

couldn’thelpherself.“Yeah.”

“Idon’twantthedetails.”

“You’reright.Youdon’t,”shesaid.

“I’msorryIcalledyouabitchearlier.”

“IthoughtIcaughtsomeprofanity.GladtoknowyourFrenchskillsareall-encompassing.”

“Ismomokay?Sheseemsalittleoff.”

Christineleanedintohershoulder,andCarolineputherarmaroundher.“She’llbefine,”shesaid.

“She’sjusttired.I’llstaywithherforawhile.”

“Thisis,um,kindofweird.”

Carolinechuckled.“Welcometomylife.Listen,Ineedyoutodosomething.Yourmotherissafewith

me.Iwantyoutoknowthat.ButIthinkit’sbestifyoudon’ttellanyoneaboutthisconversation.Noteven

Jacob.Understand?”

“Whereareyou?”

“Idon’twanttosay.Keepyourfamilysafe.Actlikenothinghaschanged.We’llbeintouchagain

whenthetimeisright.”

“WhatifIneedtogetaholdofyou?”

Avalidquestion.She’dhavetogivetheirFrenchcontactsaheadsup.“Don’tworryaboutthat.We’ll

findawaytodoitsoyou’retheonlyonewhoknows.Okay?”

“Caroline,I’mgladyou’re–I’mglad.AndtellmymotherIloveher.”

CarolineinstinctivelyhuggedChristine.“Iwill.Areyougoingtobeokayifwehangup?”

“Ithinkso.ItwashardtohearaboutDaddyandJess.”

“Theydiedsavingmychildren,”Carolinesaidquietly.“Andyourmother.”

“I’mnotsurprised.Theywerealways-”Shecoughed.“I’dexpectnothingless.”

CarolinefeltalittlebadlythatSusannahhadtohangupandholdheremotionsinside,keepinga

secretshecouldn’ttell.Cryingforthefatherandsisterwho’dbeentakenfromhertoosoon,evenifforan

honorablereason.AtleastChristinehadthebenefitofsympatheticphysicalcomfort.“I–Iwantyouto

knowI’mgoingtokeepaneyeonyourmom.”

“Iappreciateit.IknowyourFrenchisrusty,butIbetyou’llunderstandthis.Mercideprendresoin

demoncœur.Mamère.”

Carolineswallowedhard.“Cen’estrien.CanwestoptalkinginFrenchnow?We’remakingyour

mothernervous.”

“Gogetsomesleep.Takecare.Aurevoir,monamie.”

Carolinehungupthephone.“Soyou’reagrandmother,huh?”

“Shutup.”

“CanIcallyougrandma?”

“No,youmaynot.”

Dammit.She’dhavetoworkitinanyway.“Areyousure?Justthinkaboutit.”

Christinewipedhereyes.“Iamtooyoungtobeagrandmother.”

“Oh,comeon.You’retheperfectage.You’vegotenoughenergytoenjoyitoncewegetthismess

figuredout.”

“Shehastwins,”Christinesaid.

Carolinelaughed.“Oh,wow.”

“Identicalboys.”Sheclearedherthroat.“ShenamedthemDesmondandSpencer.”

Tom’smiddlename.Hermaidenname.“That’snice.”

“It’smorethannice.Iwishwecouldhavechattedlonger.ItwaslessawkwardthanIthought.”

Shortandsweet.CarolinesuspectedChristinewouldbebacksoontomakeanothercall.She

wouldn’tbeabletostayawayforlong.“Susannahsoundedprettygoodonthephoneaftershegotoverthe

shock.”

Christinesniffled.“ShewasprettyupsetaboutTomandJessie.”

“She’llneedtimetoacceptit.Butyou’restillhere.”

“Whatdidshesaytoyou?”

Carolinegrinned.“Noneofyourbusiness.”

“No,really.”

Wassheworrieditwassomethingbad?“Shethankedmefortakingcareofherheart.InFrench.She

meantyou.”

“Well.”Christinepickedupherpurse.“Thatwasnice.”

Thatwaseitherawaytokeephershakinghandsoccupiedorasocialcuethatshewasreadytogo

homeandcryinprivate.“Itoldyoushe’dbehappytohearfromyou,”Carolinesaid.“Shealsosaidto

tellyoushelovesyou.ButshesaidthatinEnglish.”

“Thatwasnice.”Christinelaughed.“See,shehasahardtimesayingittoo.”

Carolinesqueezedhershoulder.“Hey,whenthisisallovermaybewecanallmovetothesouthof

France.”

“I’dmuchratherthatSusannahcomehomewhereshebelongs.”

Theyshouldallbesolucky.Carolinegaveheranotherhug.“Doyoufeelbetternow?”

Christinesmiledather.“Much,muchbetter.”

ChapterTwenty-One

ChristinesankintothecouchinJackandCaroline’sapartment.“Areallofourbriefingsthatdry?”

“Yes,”Nataliesaid.“Atleast,theyarewhenI’mintheroom.”

“Whywereyouthereagain?”Carolineasked.

Sheshrugged.“Dunno.JackaskedsoIshowed.”

“Maybehe’stryingtodiversifyhisstaff,”Christinesaid.

Dammit,heprobablywas.Whatalameeffort.“Ihopenot.Ifhethinksthatputtingthetwoofyouin

themixmakesupforallthetestosteroneintheroom,he’swrong.”

“Goodtoknowwe’llhaveafewrepresentativesfromforeignalliesheresoon,”Christinesaid.

“Misshavingallthatpowerupnorth?”Carolineasked.

“No.”Christinelookedoffended.“Buttheyhavemuchbettermilitaryinfrastructurethanwedo.

Shouldweneedtofight,they’refarmorelikelytoaccomplishsomething.”

Carolineshookherhead.“Igetthefeelingwewon’thavetodoanythinglargescale.Santosistoo

paranoid.Tooprivate.He’sgoingtodosomethingirrationalandwe’llhavetorespond.”

“Likelaunchingnukes?”Natalieasked.

“Biteyourtongue.”Carolinepressedherfistintoherpalm.“We’vealreadyheardrumorsaboutthat.

I’mhopingtheprospectofmutuallyassureddestructioniskeepinghimfromdoinganythingstupid.”

Christineslidherjacketoff.“Ifhe’snotactingorthinkingrationally,doeslogicreallymatter?”

Shedidn’twanttosinkintothatpit.NotwhentheyhadsolittleintelligenceaboutSantos’daytoday

behavior.She’dmuchratherescapeforafewhours.Maybemore.Carolinepulledabottleofwhiskey

fromthekitchencabinet.“Wannagetdrunk?”

Natalieclappedherhands.“Oh,lets.”

“Chrissy?”

“Whynot?”

Carolinefoundthreehighballglassesandfilledthemalmosttothetop.Theysatinthelivingroom

sippingthesmoothwhiskey,theirglassesmagicallyrefillingagainandagain.Theeffectofthehardliquor

drovethemtolaughlikeoldfriends.AkeyturnedinthelockandCarolinestraightenedup.

“Shit,”shesaid.

“What?”Christineasked.

Carolinelookedatthealmostemptybottle.“Uh,thisisJack’s.”

“What,youhavetogetpermission?Isn’tCaliforniaacommunityproperty…republic?”Natalie

asked.

“Great.”Christinegrabbedthebottle.“ShouldIpouranotheronewhileIcan?”

Jackstoppedshortwhenhesawthethreeofthem.“Hellothere.”

“Hey,Monty,”Carolinesaid.

NataliefrownedatChristine.“Whatdidshejustcallhim?”

Christinetookasipofwhiskey.“Idon’tknowbutit’sdefinitelysomethingtopursuelater.”

Jackglancedatthecoffeetable.“Isthatmyboozeyou’redrinking?”

“Didn’tseeyournameonit,Commander,”Carolinesaid.

Hechuckled.“Iseewe’vehadafewalready.”

Carolinesalutedhim.“Indeedwehave,sir.”

Jacklaughedagain.“Planningonhavingaparty,orisitjustthethreeofyou?”

“Isn’tthreeenough?”Christineasked.

“Iseeyou’vegottenChristinedrunktoo.”HeturnedtoNatalie.“Iassumeyou’renotsobereither?”

Natalietippedherglassathim.“Youhavegoodtaste.”

Hepickedupthebottle.“Almostgone.Youladieshavebeenbusy.Thatbriefingendedthirtyminutes

ago.”

Carolineroseonshakylegs.“Maybethere’smore.”

Jackpushedherbackdown.“Letme,sweetheart.”

“He’ssoconsiderate,”Carolinesaidinastagewhisper.

“Hejustshovedyouontothecouch,”Christinepointedout.

“Hecanhearyouboth,”Nataliesaid.

“Idon’tcare.”Christinepolishedofftheremainderofthefirstbottle.“IdoubtCarolinecareseither.”

Jackreturnedfromthekitchen,placinganotherbottleofwhiskeyonthetable.“Trynottodemolish

thisone,allright?Takeiteasy.”

“Weknowhowtoholdourliquor,”Carolinesaid.

“Yes.Icantell.”

HisamusementdrewsternscrutinyfromChristine.Sheputherdrinkdown.“Governor,there’s

somethingI’vealwayswantedtotellyou.”

Dammit.Christine’stolerancehadalwaysbeennotoriouslylow,andwhenshewentpastthepointof

sobrietyshe’doftenlethersnarkslitherintostereo.Carolinelookedbackandforthbetweenthetwoof

them,concernedanyheatedexchangemightbringtheeveningtoascreechinghalt.“Chrissy-”

“It’sfine,Punky.Thisis-”Shetookamomenttocollectherself,slurringslightly.“Tremendously

important.”

Jacksighed.“Whatwouldyouliketosay,Christine?”

Sheliftedherglassup,toastinghim.“Youhaveareally,reallyniceass.”

NataliespitoutherremainingwhiskeyasCarolinetriednottochokeonherowndrink.

“Well.”Hepickedupthefullbottle,twistingthecapandrefillingherglass.“Thankyouforthat.

Perhapsyoushoulddrinkmoreoften,Senator.”

“Ijustmight.”

JackruffledCaroline’shair,movingbehindthecouch.Hekissedthetopofherhead.“Don’tstayup

toolate.”

“Wewon’t,”shepromised.

Nataliedabbedatthewhiskeyonthetable.“Thatwaspriceless.”

Carolinegrabbedahandfulofnapkinsfromthekitchen.“Ihavetosay,thatwasthelastthingI

expectedyoutotellhim.”

Christinetookalargesipofherdrink.“Youknowit’sthetruth.”

Ofcourseshedid.“Itlookstentimesbetterwhenhe’sinthebuff.”

“I’llbet.”

Carolinepouredherselfanotherglass.“ShouldIbeworriedthatbothofyouarelustingaftermy

husband?”

“Nothardly,”Christinesaidhuffily.“Iappreciatethemaleform.Thomashadaspectacularrump.”

Carolinegiggled.“Rump?Menaren’tpiecesofmeat,Chrissy.”

“Thomasdefinitelywas.”

“Somuchobjectification,”Nataliesaid.

“It’swhysheneverembracedfeminism.”

“Areyoucontendingthatmyhusbandwasnoteasyontheeyes?”Christineasked.

“Oh,hewas,”Carolineagreed.“Allthosefootballworkouts.Wesnaggedourselvesacoupleoftasty

men.”

“Acoupleofgoodmen,”Christinecorrected.

Christine’sformerlysnarkyalcoholconsumptionhadtransformedtomagnanimity.MaybeCaroline

wouldfoistboozeonhermoreoften.“Whateveryousay.”

“Whataboutyou,Natalie?”Christinetookthelibertyofrefillingtheyoungerwoman’sglass.“Gota

crushonthecommander?”

“IknowbetterthantogetonCaroline’sbadside.”

“You’dhavetoworryaboutChrissycomingafteryounow,too,”Carolinesaid.“Althoughshemay

joinyouinyourpursuitof…whateveritisyouwant.”

“Ijustliketolook,”Christinesaid.

“Youcoulddomorethanlook.Gocougarononeoftheenlistedmen.”

Christinesnorted.“Idefinitelywon’tbedoingthat.”

CarolineturnedtoNatalie.“DidyouseeMajorBallardmakinggooglyeyesatherduringthis

afternoon’smeeting?”

“Oh,hewasnot,”Christinescoffed.

“Hewas.”

“I’veseenhimatthegym,”Nataliesaid.“He’sgotnicearms.Youshouldgoafterhim.”

“Notgoingtohappen,”Christinesaid.

“You’reprettyhot,Chrissy.Youcouldtotallyhaveafling.”

Christinesoberedsomewhat.“I’mnotreadyforthat.Althoughit’snicetoknowtheoptionisthere.”

Carolinesqueezedhershoulder.“We’llmakeyouabadgirlyet.”

“You’renotabadgirl,either.Youjustthinkyouare.”

She’dhavetotellChristinesomestories.She’dlearn,ohsoquickly.“Idefinitelyam.”

“IbetJacklovesthat.”

“Hedoes.”

ChristinegaveCarolineanimpishgrin.“I’vegottoknow.IsJackreallythatgood?”

“Whoa.”Natalielaughed.“Thatwasaquickshift.”

“OhmyGod,”Carolinesaid.“Didyoujustaskmetotellyouaboutmysexlife?”

Christinetookanotherslugofwhiskey.“AlltheseyearsI’vebeendyingtoknow.”

“You’reanosydrunk,aren’tyou?”Natalieasked.

“We’reluckyshehasn’tstartedthrowingthings.Usuallyshe’sapissydrunk,”Carolinesaid.

“Nottonight,”Christineasserted.“Iwanttoknowallthestuffyou’vebeenholdingback.Freerange

session.”

Carolinegrinnedbackather.“YouusedtogetuncomfortablewhenI’dtrytotellyouaboutour

adventures.”

“NowIwanttolivevicariously.”

Shewantedtoknow?Oh,she’dknow.“He.Is.Spectacular.”Carolinetracedanidlefingeraround

therimofherglass.“HolyChristisheamazing.He’slikesomesortofsavant.”

Christinefinishedtherestofherglassbeforerefillingit.“Well,”shesaid.“Goodforyou.”

“Likeyoudidn’talreadyknowtheanswer.”

“Isuspected.Especiallyafteryoutwopracticallyhadsexinpublic.”

“ThatnightattheFairmontwasafluke,”Carolinesaid.“Idon’tliketosharethatsortofthingwith

otherpeople.Notevenyou.IcantalktoyouaboutitbutI’mnotgivingyousuperintimatedetails,ifyou

knowwhatImean.”

“Getacouplemoredrinksinyouandyoumight,”Nataliesaid,giggling.

“Thatentireelevatoraffairwasscuzzy,”Christinesaid.“Themediacoverageofthevideo,notthe

factthatyouandJackdidit.Itwasdreadfullyunfair.”

Carolinesmiled.“I’mtouchedthatyou’restillsopissedaboutit.”

“Iwillalwaysdefendyou,Punky.”

“Iwassodrunkthatnight.Cameclosetodoingsomethingthatwouldhavegottenoneofuscharged

withindecentexposure.”

“Yes,Caroline.Iknow.”

OfcourseChrissyknew.Shekneweverything.“Doyouthinkeveryoneelseknewtoo?”

“Itdoesn’tmatter.It’soneminoreventinthecourseofyourlife.”ChristineturnedtoNatalie.“You

shouldhaveseenhowJackreactedwhenshecoveredthatawfuldyejob.Ithoughthewasgoingtoripher

clothesoffinfrontofallofus.”

“Itwasn’tthatbad,”Carolinesaid.

“Oh,itwas,”Christineinsisted.“Honestly,it’sadorableinaweird,somewhatawkwardfortherest

ofhumanitykindofway.”

Carolinefrownedather.“Adorable?Idon’tthinkyou’veeverusedthatwordinyourlife.”

Christinedownedtherestofherwhiskey.“Liquorloosensmytongue.”

“That’sfordamnsure,”Nataliesaid.

“ForalongtimeIthoughthewasjustaboutsex,”Christinesaid.“Butit’smorethanthatwiththetwo

ofyou,isn’tit?”

Wasn’tsheanosylittlething.“Areyougettingallreflectivenow?”

“Perhaps.”

“AtfirstIthoughtthatwaswhathewasabout.”Carolineglancedattheclosedbedroomdoorand

loweredhervoice.“Thatwasallhewasusedto,likehedidn’tthinkhedeservedanythingelse.

Somethingchangedinhimthelongerweweretogether.Thingsmightbebetternowthantheywerebefore,

andtheywereprettyhotintheearlystagesofourmarriage.Asidefromthewholefearingforourlives

andthecountrycollapsingthing.”

“Youmadehimthatway,”Christinesaidquietly.“Youaffecthimdeeply.”

“Idon’tthinkitwasallme.”

“No,itwasn’t.Itwasinsidehimbutheneededhelpfindingit.”Christinewrappedherarmsaround

herself.“Tomhadthesameeffectonme.”

Carolinescootedtowardher.InebriatedChristinecouldstillgodownhill,dependingonhowthe

conversationshifted.“Chrissy,wedon’thavetotalkaboutthisnow.”

Christinegaveherawobblysmile.“Iwantto.”SheturnedtoNatalie.“Ifthat’sallrightwithyou.”

Nataliesatdownnexttothetwoofthemonthecouch.“Finewithme.”

“It’sfunnyhowotherpeoplehelpshapewhoweare.Goodorbad,that’swhattheydo.You’dthinkit

wouldbewithinus,thatwe’ddevelopourpersonalitiesindependentoftheoutsideworld.Butsomuchof

itisdeterminedbythosewhocomeintoourlives.”ChristineleanedbackagainstCaroline.“Iwishyou

couldhaveknownTom,”shesaidtoNatalie.“AndNick.WishyoucouldhavemetCarolineandmewhen

wewerefirstelected.I’dbecurioustoseewhatyouthoughtofusbackthen.”

“IassumeIwouldhavelikedyouboth,”Nataliesaid.

Christineshookherheadvigorously.“Youwouldn’thavelikedme.Iwasacompletebitch.”

Carolinewrappedherarmsdelicatelyaroundhershoulders,huggingherfrombehind.“Thatfirst

nightwemet,Nickytoldmeonthecarridehomethatshewasstonecold.”

“Didhereally?”Christineasked.

“Hechangedhisopinionratherquickly,”Carolinesaid.“MostlybecauseItoldhimIlikedyou.”

“Whydidn’tyouevertellmethisbefore?”

“Didn’twanttotarnishyourmemoryofhim.”

“That’snotpossible.”

“Howdidyoutwobecomefriends?”Natalieasked.

Carolinelaughed.“Itotallystalkedher.”

“Youdidnot,”Nataliesaid.

ChristinesqueezedoneofCaroline’shands.“Shedid.Ihadafeelingabouther.Iknewshe’dhelpme

becomeabetterperson.Nothaveabiggerheartordogooddeedsorbemorespiritualoresoteric,but

helpmelikemyselfmore.Tomtoldmetoletherin,soIdid.”

“Smartman,”Carolinemurmured.

Christinesniffled.“Sharpasatack.”

Carolineleanedforwarduntiltheywerecheektocheek.“Ireallymisshim,Chrissy.”

Christineletoutashakybreath.“Imisshimtoo.”

“Hewasabetterpersonthanallofusputtogether,”Carolinesaid.“I’mnotkidding.”

“Ibelieveyou,”Nataliesaid,pattingChristine’sknee.“Ithinkwe’regettingtoomopeyhere.Wantto

watchamovie?”

Christinestraightened,wipinghereyes.“ThatdependsonwhetherCarolineislookingtohave

drunkensexwithherhusbandtonight.”

“Oh,he’sokaywithmewakinghimuplater.Gogetsomethingtotallycheesy.LikeGreaseor

Soapdishorsomething.”

Nataliestoodup.“Ooh,let’sbePinkLadiestonight.I’llbebackinaminute.”

ChapterTwenty-Two

Marguerite’seighteenthbirthdaycelebrationwasjoyfulbutsubdued.Sophie’sfourteenthbirthday

twomonthslaterwasequallyreserved,mostlybecausetheyfeltthecrushoftheinevitabledescending

uponthem.Allianceswereforged,detailshashedout.Theintelligencefunneledthroughtheircontactsin

Washingtonbecameincreasinglybleak.Eachbriefingwasmoredepressinganddisheartening,andallof

themweregrowinguneasy.Tempersflared,argumentsalmostcametoblows,butJackandCarolinedid

theirbesttorepairanyriftsamongtheiradvisorsbeforeclosingeverymeeting.

TheHagueoccasionallysentthemcorrespondence,keepingthemapprisedofthestatusoftheir

investigation.Indictmentshadbeenissuedbutnotunsealed,andMurdockandEdwardswouldremainin

custodyuntiltrial.WithSantosstillatlarge,theICCwastakingitstime,waiting.U.N.officialsknewas

wellastherebelsthathewouldnotgodownwithoutafight.

Springdriftedintosummer.Thedaysgotwarmer.Afewrecruitstrickledin.TheU.N.offeredtheir

officialsupport,andwouldsendpeacekeepersifnecessary.Canada,Mexico,andtheUnitedKingdomall

hadresidentadvisorsonthebase,withscoresofothernationswillingtoprovideweaponsorwarm

bodiesiftheirranksbecamedepleted.Butifthatweretohappen,itwouldmeantheyhadsustainedheavy

casualties.Carolinedidn’twanttothinkaboutthat.

Hernightmaresreturned,lessfrequentlythanbefore,butmoreintense.Aftercompletingbasic

training,Margueritewasassignedtoapublicrelationsunitandconstantlyharanguedhermotherabout

beingtransferredtoamoresubstantialassignment.Sophiewaslosingsleepandhadmovedinwith

Christineinlieuofstayingwithhersister.

Carolineknewthatthingswouldgetworse,thateverythingcouldchangeinasplitsecondandthey’d

beleftwonderingifanythingtheyknewwastrue.Shealreadyfeltlikeshe’dbeenlivinginanalternate

universethepasttwoyears;thatmaybeifshegotjustonegoodnight’ssleep,she’dwakeupandall

wouldbewell.

She’dtellherfriendsaboutherentirelyvividandincrediblydisturbingdreamandthey’dallsay,as

ifthatcouldhappen.Asifatotalitariancouldexactcontroloveranentirecountry.AsifAmericawould

willinglybeleddownadarkroad.Asifademagoguewithnastyvaluesandanevennastiertemperament

wouldbeallowedtowalkthehallowedhallsofWashington,smashingeverybitoftherepublicashe

went.No,they’dsay.Itcan’thappenhere.Itwon’t.Wewouldneverallowit.We’rebetterthanthis.

Exceptsheknewtheyweren’t.Howdidyougetthatspiritback?Eveniftherevolutionarieswon,

howmuchharmhadbeendone?Youcoulddamageapreciousheirloombutitwouldneverberestoredto

itspreviouscondition.CarolineoftenthoughtabouttheJapaneseartofKinsugi,ofrepairingbroken

ceramicsorpotterywithalacquermadepartlyofgoldorplatinum.Thegoalwasnottorenderthepiece

thesameasitwas,buttoincorporatethedamageandappreciatethehistoryoftheobject.The

imperfectionswerenevermeanttobedisguisedorhidden.Theywerepartofwhatmadetheceramic

strong.

Democracywasmessy.Difficult.Frustrating.AndAmericahadalwaysbeenimperfect.Asongin

searchoftheperfectnotewhensooftenthemelodywentflat.Itsgrandidealshadoftenbeensacrificedat

thealtarofavarice,greed,andself-interest,butsomehowitscitizenskeptgoing.Believinginthatdream.

Believingtheshiningcityonthehillcouldactuallybebuilt.Believingdespiteitsflaws,despiteitserrors,

despiteitsinjusticesandinequalities,thegreatAmericanexperimentwouldfinditswayhome.Maybe

thatwashowtogetthrough.Tolearnfromthelessons,knowingdamnwellitcouldhappenandwould

likelyhappenagain.

Butshewasgettingaheadofherself.Shewasatthefootofthebridge,waitingtocrosswithno

knowledgeofwhatwasontheotherside.Shehopedtohellthatwhenshegotthere,she’dhavethe

strengthtohandlewhatevershewasgiven.Hercracks,herimperfections,herdamagemadeherstrong.

Andshewasdamnwellreadytousethatstrength.Butfirstshehadtorunanotherbriefing.

“What’sthegoodword,gentlemen?”sheasked,noddingatChristine.“Andlady,ofcourse.”

Christineshookherhead.“Yousaythatateverymeeting.Don’tyougettiredofit?”

Carolinetooktheseatnexttoher.“NotwhenIfirmlybelievethatsomeday,someonewillactually

givemethegoodword.Givemethescoop,Flaherty.”

“IthinkweshouldhearfromColonelEastmanfirst,”Jacksaid.“It’smyunderstandinghehas

uncoveredsome…unsettlinginformation.”

JackseemedtoalreadyknowwhatEastmanwasgoingtosay.Whyhadn’tshebeentold?Eastman

wastheirCanadianliaison,thoughhewasalsoassignedtoaU.N.Peacekeepingunit.Usuallythetwoof

themmetwithhimtogether,alongwithChristine.Carolineshotheraglance.Basedonherexpression,she

didn’tknoweither.Strange.

Eastmanscrolledthroughhisphone.“Ihaveanumberofdocumentssavedtoaflashdriveand

encryptedforsafety,butI’llgiveyouthebasics.I’vebeenabletoconferwithmycolleaguesinCanada

andotherPeacekeepermembernations.Unfortunately,CommanderGerard,PresidentSantosknowsyou

arealive.”

Nosurprisethere.Theonlyshockingpartwasthatitappearedtohavetakensolongforhimtopiece

ittogether.“And?”

“Americanmediahaslatchedontothestory.Coveragehasnotbeenpositive.Santoshassuccessfully

manipulatedtheprintpressandbroadcasttelevisionintoreportingwhathewantsthemtoreport.

Blackmailingthemintofavorabletreatment.Restrictingaccess,decliningtohavepressconferences,

issuingstatementsviavideoorthroughsurrogates.”

“JackandIwerealwaysportrayedastraitors,”Carolinesaid.“Noneofthisisnew.”

EastmanglancedoveratJack,justforasecond,beforestaringdownathisphone.“Santoshasmade

someincreasinglyunstablecomments,commentsthatarenowregardedasunremarkablebymostmembers

ofthepresscorps.They’veessentiallynormalizedhisbehavior.Ican’texplainhowithappened-”

“Ican,”Christinebrokein.“Whydon’tIloanyoumycopyofTheRiseandFalloftheThird

Reich?”

“There’snoneedtobesnippy,”Jacksaid.“He’ssimplytryingtoinformusofwhathe’sbeenableto

uncover.Pleaselisten.”

Hewasn’tconfrontational.Accusatory.Infact,herhusbandseemedalmost…defeated.Finished.

Done.

Fuckinghell.

“Pleasegoon,”Carolinesaid.

“SantosknowsabouttheInternationalCriminalCourt.Aboutyourtestimony.AlthoughIcannot

independentlyconfirm,weconsideritlikelythathehasspokenwithJeffreyMurdock.Soheknows

there’sawarrantforhisarrest.”

“Good,”Christinesaid.“Maybesomeoneshouldtakehimintocustody.”

“It’snotthatsimple,”Eastmansaid.“There’smore.Severaldaysago,Santoswentonnetwork

television.Gavealongimpassionedspeechaboutloveofcountry.Howothersmaynotsharethat

affection.HetoldviewersabouttheICCprosecution.Abouthowyouwerealive.Abouthowyou

perjuredyourselfinfrontofacourtwithnojurisdictionoverAmericancitizens,allsoyoucouldescape

responsibilityforyourowncrimes.”

“ThatlogicissoflawedIdon’tevenknowwheretobegin,”Christinesaid.

“That’snotall.”Eastmanhesitated,forfartoolong.“Hethenrequestedthatyoubearrestedand

broughttoWashingtontofacetreasoncharges.Inotherwords,he’sclaimingyouwereheldatTheFedfor

alegitimatereasonandaretryingtolieyourwayoutofit.”

PerhapsChristineexpectedCarolinetolosehertemper.Toflyoffthehandle,togooffononeofher

self-righteoustiradesthatwasmoreimpassionedspeechthanpracticalaction.Butsheremainedcalm.

“Thiswasseveraldaysago.What’shappeningnow?”Carolineasked.“Howhasthepublicreacted?”

“Peoplehavebeenconditionedtobelievewhathesays.Totakeitasfact.Asright.Asproper.The

truthnolongerexists.There’stoomuchpropaganda,toomanyfakestories,toomuchconfusion,distrust,

andcynicism.SantoshasprojectedhimselfastheOneTrueHope,theonlypersoninWashingtonwhocan

bedependedontodotherightthing.”

“That’sridiculous,”Christinesaid.“Whowouldbelievethat?”

“MillionsofAmericans.Sincehemadehisannouncement,therehavebeenanumberofspontaneous

demonstrationsinmajorcities.”Eastmanturnedhisphoneoff,shovingitinhispocket.Apparentlyhe

didn’twanttolookatitanymore.“AlloftheseprotestershaveexpressedastrongdesireforCommander

Gerardtobetakenintocustody.”

“Thisisludicrous,”Christinesaidhotly.“Icannotbelievewe’reentertainingthispileofexcrement.

Let’smoveontosomethingwecanactuallyuse.”

Exceptmaybethatwasexactlywhattheyhad.“He’sadvertisingthathewantsmetobearrested,turn

myselfin,what?”Carolineasked.

“Itdoesn’tmatter,”Christinesaid.“Becausewe’renotdoingit.”

Shit.WasCarolinegoingtohavetoplaytheauthoritycard?Ah,well.Shewasreadytofaceany

blowback.“SenatorSullivan,withallduerespect,I’mtheonerunningthisbriefing.I’daskyoutoreserve

youreditorializinguntilthemeetingiscomplete.”

Christinemadeanobscenegestureandleanedbackinherchair.“Whatever.”

“WhatdoesSantoswant?”Carolinerepeated.

Eastmantuggedatthenecklineofhiscollareduniformshirt.“Idon’tthinkhecares.Hewantsyouin

custody,assoonaspossible.Hissycophantshavebackedhimup.”

“Doweknowiftheprotestsarelegit?”

“Thedistinctionisirrelevant.They’reoccurring,they’vegottenpress,andthenarrativehasbeen

written.”

Inotherwords,post-truthAmericadidn’tcareforfacts.“Mygooseiscooked,”shesaid.“Ourgoose

iscooked.”

“Notquite.”FlahertyturnedtoJack.“Sir?”

“Shareyourintel,”Jacksaid.

“WhileColonelEastmanhasbeenaccumulatingdatafromhissources,I’vebeenreceiving

informationfromdirectlyinsidetheWhiteHouse.It’sgoodorbad,dependingonyourperspective.Santos

hasdelegatedmostofthedetailsofdaytodaygovernancetostafferswhosharehisviews.Hewantedthe

powerbutnottheresponsibility.He’sfeelingtheheat,buthe’sstillpredictable.He’salwayshadafew

knowntriggers.”Flahertypaused.“I’msurenoneofthiswillsurpriseyou,butanexhaustive,detailed

accountofourintelseemsappropriate.”

“Understood,Major,”Jacksaid.“Pleasecontinue.”

“Santosisanarcissist.Asociopath.Heisaterriblypettyman,whichmeansthatheirrationally

focusesonsmallissues.Perceivedenemies.OneofhisbiggesttriggersisCommanderGerard.”

Carolineliftedherheadup.Sure,she’dbeenarrested.Sure,she’dbeentortured.Sure,shewas

PublicEnemy#1butstill…“Me?”

“Heholdspermanentgrudgesagainstpeoplewhodisagreewithhim.Aboutslightsthatdon’treally

exist.Rumorishehasa‘revenge’list,detailingpeoplewhohavegoneagainsthimorwrongedhimin

someway.Hehasalwaysbeendeterminedtoexactvengeanceonthosepeople.It’sthereasonsomany

prominentpoliticiansendedupatTheFed.”

“Whatexactlyareyoutryingtosay?”Jackasked.

“He’sbeenobsessedwithherforyears.I’mnotsurewhatcausedthis…situationbutitonly

intensifiedastimepassed.Evenifyouhadn’tfoughtagainsthisadministration,youwerealwaysgoingto

beamark.He’dintendedtorecruityoufromthebeginningandifthatdidn’twork,ashesuspected,you

weretobeeliminated.You’vealwaysbeenathreattohisambition,andyourpartnershipwith

CommanderMcIntyrestrengthenedyourabilitytodamagehim.”

Carolineheldupherhands.“Thatmakesnosense.Whyme?IbarelyknewhimwhenIwasin

Congress.”

“You’refemale.You’relikable.You’reearnest.Peopletrustyou.Santoshasneverhadthatkindof

reputation.He’sgottenbyonhalf-truths,misinformation,propaganda.He’sneverbeenabletoconnect

withpeopleusinganythingotherthanhateormanipulation.Anyonewhocancounterthatkindofapproach

anddoitsuccessfullyisverydangerousindeed.”

“I’mnottheonlypersonwho’scapableofdoingthat.”

“Thatdoesn’tmatter.Hisminddoesn’tprocessthingsthatway.Youalwayshadatargetonyour

back.It’swhyyouweretreatedsoharshlyatTheFed.”Heshuffledsomeofthepapersinhishands.“He

wentballisticwhenhewasinformedyouwerestillalive.Heheldoutyourtortureanddeathasoneofhis

ultimatetriumphs.Andhecan’tletthatgo.Youslippedthroughhisfingers.Yougotthebetterofhim.He

can’tstandtolose,especiallytoawomanheviewsashisinferior.”

Jacksnorted.“Carolinecouldwhiphiminanyconceivablecategory.He’sclearlyunbalanced.”

“Heis,”Flahertyagreed.“Andhisvolatilityisincreasing.Althoughhisstaffersaredoingthedirty

work,hisparanoiahaskickedin,fullforce.Therearemaybetwoorthreepeopleinhisinnercirclehe

trusts,whichmeanshegotonethingrightsincewehavemultiplespiesontheinside.”

“Howcanwecapitalizeonthat?”Carolineasked.

“Wehavetodosomething,andquickly.Heknowstheinternationalcommunitycan’tstanddown

muchlonger.Somethinghastogive.He’spetulantandimmature,whichcouldmanifestitselfindisastrous

consequencesfortheentireworld.”FlahertylookedCarolineintheeye.“He’sobsessedwiththefactthat

youarestillalive.Imaginehowhemightrespondtotheopportunitytorightaperceivedwrong.”

Sheknewwherehewasgoing.DidJack?“Howmanypeopledowehaveontheinside?”

“Adecentnumber.”

“Cantheybetrustedtoturnwhenthetimeisright?”

“Mostdefinitely.”

“Whatabouttheotherforces?Canada,theU.N.,NATO?”

“Abletomobilizeonshortnotice.”

CarolineturnedbacktoEastman.“WhatdothePeacekeepersthinkofallofthis?”

“Well-”HelookedjustasuncomfortableasFlaherty.“TheICCwouldobviouslypreferhebeplaced

underarrest.Butweallknow-”

Killorbekilled.Yeah,sheknew.“Anychancewecouldstrikewiththosetroopswithoutturning

myselfin?”sheaskedFlaherty.

Heloweredhishead.“Isupposethere’sachance,but-”

Hedidn’tneedtosayit.Theycouldtry,butafocusedSantosmeantanequallyunhingedSantos.What

anodddichotomy.Whereasadistraction,say,fromawomanhe’dbeenitchingtoconfrontfacetoface…

thatmightgivethemtimetoinfiltratethegovernmentwithminimalcasualties.

“Well,”Carolinesaid.“Whatexactlyisitthatweneedtodo?”

“Youknowwhatweneedtodo,ma’am,”hesaidquietly.

Sheknew.Heknew.JackandChristinehadtoknow.Theentireroomwassilent.

“Turningmeoverwouldgetusinthesameroomwithhim,”Carolinesaid.

Finally,Jackreacted.“That’sanawfullybigriskforsomethingthatmightnothappen.It’snotworth

it.”

Itsureashellsoundedlikeitwasworthittoher.“Whynot?Itmightbeourbestchancetotakehim

out.”

“Youthinkhewon’tbeanticipatingthat?”

“Whatifheis?Wemaynotgetanotheropportunitylikethis.YouheardKeith.He’sparanoid.

Singularlyfocused.Doesn’ttrustanyone.Thatmeanshe’salmostcompletelyisolated,whichmakeshim

vulnerable.Heknowshistimeisshort.Heknowsthiscan’tlastforever.Whynotdosomethingbeforehe

engagesinbehaviorthatendangerstheentireworld?Surelyourexpertscancomeupwithsomesortof

plantominimizethedamage.”

“Thedamage?”Jackclenchedhisteeth.“It.Is.Not.Worth.You.”

Caroline’sbiggestallywassteamedoff,butsurelyshecouldbetrustedtobeobjectivewhenthetime

wasright.“Chrissy?”

Christineshovedawayfromherchairandstompedoutoftheroom.

“Nice,”Jacksaid.“Happynow?”

“No,”Carolinesnapped.“I’mnot.Andneitherareyou.We’resittingherethreethousandmilesfrom

home,ourhome,ourkids’home,becausewe’rewaitingfortherighttimetotakethatbastardout.The

timeisnow.”

“Itmightnotwork,”Jacksaid.

“Wehavetotry.”

“Wearenotsettingatrapforarabiddogwhenyou’rethegoddamnbait.”

“I’mtired,Jack.We’realltired.Iwanttogohome.IwanttogobacktotheAmericaIbelievedin.

TheAmericaInevergaveupon.We’vetakenafewstepsbackbutthatdoesn’tmeanwecan’tstart

marchingforwardagain.AmericanexceptionalismhasneverbeenwhatpeoplelikeSantosandhis

cronieswantedittobe.Itwasn’tabout‘othering,’aboutscapegoatinganddiscordandtramplingover

otherstogettothetop.Itwasthebeautyofourdiversity,thepowerofcommunity,theloveradiatingfrom

neighborsandfriendswheneveramomentofcrisisarrived.Ourabilitytofindconsensusinaseaof

disagreement.Ourempathyandwillingnesstosay,‘Teachme.Idon’tunderstandbutI’mwillingtolearn.’

We’velostthatandweneedtogetitback.ButtheAmericadescribedbysomanybrilliantartists–the

unfinishedsymphony,thebeaconoflight,thatgreatpromiseoffreedomanddemocracy–wecan’tletgo

ofthat.It’sgreaterthanitself.Itcanbeachievedifgoodpeoplearewillingtostandupforwhat’sright.”

Carolinesniffled.“AndIrefusetoletitgo.SoI’lldomypart.I’llgivemyselfup.”

“Sweetheart-”

Ifhewasdroppingtermsofendearmentduringabriefing,Jackwasnolongerthecommander.He

washerhusband.Andshecouldn’tletherhusbandswaytheiradvisors.Theycouldbeobjectivewhen

facedwithatrulydifficultdecision.“Keith,whatwouldhappenifIturnedmyselfin?”

Oh,thatwasaquestionheclearlydidn’twanttoanswer.“Ouragentswouldturn.Coordinatewith

whoeverwehadontheoutside.Foreignallieswouldbeattheready.”

Thatwasawholelotofhopeandnotalotofcertainty.Inotherwords,shewasasgoodasdead.

“Areweabletomanipulatethesituation?”

Hesmiled,justalittle.“CommanderGerard,I’mdisappointedyouhadtoask.”

Maybethingsweren’tquitesobleak.Assheshotglancesattherestoftheadvisorsintheroom,she

realizedtheycouldmakethechoicewithoutherinput,thoughtheydesiredit.Theywouldn’tneedherto

stayaway.Andyet…shewasn’tsureshewantedtobeprivytothatdiscussion.Thepoliticalbecame

considerablylesspersonalwhenthetopicofdiscussionwasn’tsittingrightinfrontofthedecision

makers.“Itrustyoutofiguresomethingout.Iassumeit’seasierifI’mnotintheroom?”

Hesobered.“Yes,ma’am.”

“Well,then.”Adrenalinehadgottenherthroughthemeetingandnowshewasdealingwiththeguilty

fallout.“IneedtocheckonSenatorSullivan.”

JackwatchedCarolineleave.Shewassmart.Sherecognizedshewasn’tmeanttobeintheroomfor

substantivediscussionsaboutwhatshe’djustofferedtodo.Heknewherposition,butultimatelyitwas

nothersoledecisiontomake.

“Well,”hesaid.“Thatescalatedquickly.”

“I’msorry,Commander.”FlahertycockedhisheadatEastman.“Perhapswecouldhaveplannedthat

better.”

Eastmanhadconfidedinhimearlierintheday.Ithadbeenahellofaburdentobear.Unfortunately

Flahertyhadn’tgivenhimquiteasmuchofaheadsup.Butnowallthecardswereonthetable.“Iguess

wehavetomakeadecision,”Jacksaid.

“Youdo,sir.”Schroederspokefromthefarendofthetable.Funny.Jackhadforgottenhewasthere.

Hisentirecadreofadvisorswasintheroom,buthisintellectualandemotionalfocushadremainedon

Carolineforthedurationofthemeeting.

“No,”Jacksaid.“AllofyouareinthisroombecauseItrustyouandyourjudgment.Youknowwhat

mydecisionwouldbe.IsuspectIknowwhatyourswouldbeaswell,ifbasedsolelyonemotion.But

Carolineisright.We’renotdealingwithjustoneperson.Thisismuch,muchbigger.”

Flahertyleanedforward.“Sir,Idon’t-”

ChapterTwenty-Three

“Thanksforfittingmein,”Jacksaid.“Thegirlswillbehereinafewminutes.”

“AtherapysessionwithoutCaroline?”Natalieasked.“Whatgives?”

“Wehadameetingtoday.Heavyintel.Decisionsweremade.”Godhelphim,hefeltguiltyenough

aboutwhathehadtotellNatalie.Hefeltevenworseshewasn’tatthemeetingtobeginwith.“Wehavea

waytoendthis.”

HegavehertherundownonSantos,thediscussionbetweenhimandhisadvisors,Carolineand

Christine’sreactions.Nataliedidn’tsaymuch,justclosedhereyesonceortwice.

“Seemsprettystraightforwardtome,”shesaid.“Why’dyouneedtotalk?”

“Isitthatstraightforward?Becauseitseemsalittlefuckeduptome.”

Shesmiledgrimly.“Straightforwardandfuckeduparenotmutuallyexclusive.”

Thedoctordidn’tknowthehalfofit.“We’vegotawaytogetherout.Agoodone,Ithink.Itrust

Carolinetokeepherheadifshe’ssentin.Itrustourmenontheinside.Itrusttherescuesquadtogether.I

just-”

“Don’ttrustSantos?”

“Ofcoursenot.Idon’ttrustreality,either.”

“Norshouldyou.Doyouhavecontingencyplans,backups,thatsortofthing?Ifsomethinggoes

wrongareyourmenreadytodowhateverittakestoachievetheprimarygoal?”

Aretheywillingtoblastthroughcountlessotherpeopletogettomywife?“Yes,”hesaid.“They

knowwhattheyneedtodo.Thealternativeistooawfultoimagine.”

“HaveyouconsideredsendingasmallbattalionwithouttransferringCarolineintogovernmental

custody?”

Wassheplayingdevil’sadvocateortryingtotalkhimoutoftheplan?Hecouldn’ttell.Sheseemed

tounderstandit,seemedtofinditrational.Buttherewassomethingmissing.“Wehave.Webelieveifwe

weretodothat,Santoswouldreactirrationally.”

“He’llreactirrationallytoCarolineaswell.”

“Iknow.”

“Butthere’sadifference,”Nataliesaid.“Themanisderanged.Santosshouldn’tbeallowedaccess

toaTwitteraccountoracombinationlock,letalonetheOvalOffice.Narcissistsaremoremalleablethan

youthink.He’seasilydistractedbyshinythings.”

“AndCarolineishisshinything?”

“Forreasonsinexplicabletoanyonecapableoflogicalandreasonablethought,yes.”

Jackrubbedhisforehead.“I’mterrifiedthiswon’twork.Maybeweshouldgoinandblastthe

place.”

“Thenyou’druntheriskofSantoscausinganuclearwinter.Inthisscenarioyouhaveadecentchance

ofgettingthevastmajorityofAmericans,andtherestoftheworld,outalive.”

“Whatifhe’sbringinghertherejusttowitnessthedestructionoftheworld?”

“Idon’tthinkthat’sonthetable,”Nataliesaid.“Youhavetothinklikeasociopathhere.”

“I’dprefernot.”

“Okay.”Shecrackedherknuckles.“I’llentertainyourscenario.ButfirstI’mgoingtogiveyoumy

personalanalysisofPresidentSantos.Hethinkshe’smoreimportantthanheis.Hefantasizesabout

powerandsuccess.Hemanipulatesotherstogetwhathewants.He’senviousofotherswhileatthesame

timebelievingthatothersenvyhim.Hehasnoempathy.Heisarrogant.Heseeksadmiration.Heexpects

everyonetobowtohimandhisrequests.”

“Soundslikeatypicalpolitician,”Jacksaid.

“It’smorecomplicatedthanthat.Politiciansareinsecure,havelargeegos,andyes,areoften

magneticanddynamicenoughtobendotherstotheirpointofview.Santosisanexampleofwhenthose

traitscrossoverintonarcissisticpersonalitydisorder.”

“Isthataformaldiagnosis?”

“AsformalasIcangetwithoutmeetingthemanpersonally,whichIreallydon’twanttodo.Let’s

returntoyourhypothetical.SantoswantsCarolineintheWhiteHousesohecanblowuptheworld,

includingher.Hehasthecodesreadytolaunchandwantshertopushthebuttonorsomethingridiculous.

Sohe’sdoingallofthisoutofhishatredforher-”

“Andhisdesiretoresistarrestforcrimesagainsthumanity,”Jackadded.

“We’llgettothat.RememberthesymptomsIjustdescribed.Yes,he’sdisturbed.Yes,heshouldn’tbe

allowedaccesstoheavyweaponry.Butwhensomeoneorsomethinggetshimriledup,he’snotthinkingof

thebigpicture,ofthescadsofresourcesavailabletohim.He’sfocusingonwhythatonepersonortopic

irkshimso.Whycan’thegether,orthem,orus,tounderstandthatwhathe’sdoingisbest?Itdriveshim

insanethattherearesomepeopleouttherewhodisagreewithhimbecauseinhismind,allofhispolicies

arefundamentallysoundandfair.He’dratherspendhourstryingtogetthosepeopletoseethelight,soto

speak.”

“Buthewantstokillher.”

“Hedoes.There’snodenyingthat.Butthinkaboutwhyhewantshertodie.That’syoursecret

weapon.Hisego.Hisself-centeredness.Hisinabilitytoseebeyondhisownnose.He’snotgoingtohave

thosenuclearcodesatthereadybecausehe’sgoingtobethinkingoffiftydifferentwaystomakeCaroline

suffer.”

Thatwasn’treallytheangleJackcaredtouse.“Canwefindanotherwaytophrasethat?”

Nataliepattedhisshoulder.“He’sgoingtobesodistractedthatshecandrivehimnutssimplyby

failingtoacquiesce.”

“Isuspectshemaybeabletodothat.Ratherwell.”

“Iagree.Iwantyoutoconsidersomethingelse.Santosdoesn’tunderstandself-sacrifice.Ofdoing

somethingwithoutexpectinganythinginreturn.Heviewsanysortofcapitulationasweakness,not

strength.Fortherebelliontoyieldtohisdemandsmeansyou’reessentiallygivingup.”

“Butwe’renot.”

“Bulliesoftenconsidercompassionandempathytobemoralinfirmities.Averydangerouspointof

view,inmyopinion.IfCarolinesurrenders,hemaythinkthat’stheendofit.Thatsinceshe’sgivingup,

therebelsareabandoningthecause.”

“That’sillogical,”Jacksaid.

“Youneedtostopexpectingunreasonablepeopletoactreasonably.I’mtellingyou,I’vegotareadon

thisguy.Youdotoo,otherwiseyouwouldn’tbetellingmeaboutthisplan.”

“Youthinkit’llwork?”

“HellifIknow.I’mnotacrapsdealer.I’mawannabepsychiatrist.Butyes,foryoursanityandmine,

ofcourseitwillwork.Perfectly.”

Wishfulthinkingwithatouchofdryhumor.Whenheheardtappingonthedoor,Jackstiffened.“The

girls.Ineedyoutohelpmeexplainittothem.BeforeCarolinedoes.”

“That’swhyI’mhere.”Natalieopenedthedoor.“Hi,guys.”

MargueritegreetedherandSophieinstantlygravitatedtowardJack.Hereturnedthehughewas

offered.“Hi,kiddo.”

“What’sgoingon?”Margueriteasked.

He’dimaginedhavingmanyconversationswithCaroline’sdaughters;neverthisone.Buthehadto

preparethemforwhatwastocome.“Weneedtotalk.”

TherewasachanceChristinewouldignoreavisitor.She’dknowwhoitwas.HopefullySophie

wasn’twithher.Carolinewasn’tquitereadytohavethatconversationyet.Sheknockedanyway.Senator

Sullivanwaspissed,butChrissywashurt.Carolinehopedshe’dgetChrissy.Shewasn’tsureshecould

handlethesenator.

Christineopenedthedooranddidn’tsayanything,motioningCarolinetositdownonthecouch.She

tooktheseatnexttoher,herhandsclenchedtightlyinherlap.

Besttolayitallout,onelineandoneconcerninsuccession.“IsNataliehidinginhere?OrMo?Ican

onlyhandleonepersonyellingatmeatatime.”

Christineletoutashortlaugh.“It’sjustme.SophieiswithMaggie.”

“Well,”Carolinesaid.“Sayit,then.”

Christinestaredatthewall.“Whydoesitalwayshavetobeyou?”

Sheoftenwonderedthesamething.Carolinereachedforherdefault–grim,slightlyfliphumor.“I

don’tknow.MaybeI’mtheheroineinsomeotherperson’ssoapopera.IhopeIhavemyownthemesong.”

“Beserious,”Christinesaid,butshemanagedasmallsmile.Itquicklyfaded.“Nevermind,youdon’t

needtoexplain.”

“Idon’t?”

“Weknewitwouldhavetoendwithsomethinglikethis.It’sselfishofmetotalkyououtofit.”

“Youstompedoutofthemeeting.”

“Iwasupset,”Christinesaid.“Iwasn’tgoingtoadvertisemydispleasuretoallthosemen,whostill

don’tgetit.”

Theydidn’t.Notcompletely.“Butyoudo,”Carolinesaidquietly.

“IthinkIdo.”ChristinepattedCaroline’shand.“Doesn’tmeanIcareforit.”

Doingtherightthingsuckedsometimes.“I’msorry.”

“Don’tapologizeforstandingupforwhatyoubelievein.”

“Doyouthinkit’stherightthingtodo?”

Christineexhaledharshly,afamiliargesturethatusuallymeantshewasfrustratedwithwhomever

hadthegalltoaskheraratherunnecessaryquestion.“Youwantmyobjectiveopinion?”

“Isitbetterthanthesubjectiveone?”

“Ifitwasanyoneotherthanyou,Iwouldtellthatpersontodoit.”

“Fallontheirsword?”

“Inamannerofspeaking.Icertainlyhopeitdoesnotcometothat.Ouralliesmayfindawaytoavoid

anunintendedoutcome.”

Meaning,avoidingmydeath.“Butsinceit’sme?”

Christinesankdownonthecouch.“Idon’twantyoutogo.”

Carolineputherarmaroundher.“Iknow.”

“Wehaven’thadnearlyenoughtimetogetherthistimearound,”shesaid.

“Iknowthattoo.”

“IneedtoaskyousomethingandIwantyoutotellmethetruth.Canyoudothat?”

“I’mnotsureIcouldlietoyou,Chrissy.”

“Doyouwanttodie?”

ChristinehadbeenspendingfartoomuchtimewithNatalie.Theyanalyzedeverything.“Nevereasy,

areyou?”Carolineasked.

“Notusually,no.”

“I’mnotwhoIwassixyearsago,I’lltellyouthatmuch.”

“You’renotwhoyouwereyesterday.Andyoudidn’tanswermyquestion.”

“Idon’twanttodie.”Notanymore,sheaddedsilently.

“Thenwhy?”

“Iwantyoutolive.Allofyou.IwantAmericatolive.”Carolinewrungherhands.“God,thatsounds

solame.Andcheesy.Idon’tevenknowwhatI’mtalkingabout.”

ChristineleanedherheadonCaroline’sshoulder.“Youknowexactlywhatyou’retalkingabout,andI

knowexactlywhatyoumean.”

“He’sdangerous,Chrissy.YouheardEastman.HeandFlahertybasicallytoldusthattheleaderofthe

freeworldisawalkingtimebomb.”

“Notsureit’ssofreeanymore.”

“That’smypoint.Givingmyselfupmightbetheonlywaytoendthisandminimizethedamage.”

“Youreallythinkthat?I’msurewecouldthinkofaplanthatdoesn’tinvolveyouasasacrificial

lamb.”

“Wecouldwait,”Carolineconceded.“Butnowwefinallyhaveawindow.Weneverwantedfull-

scalewar.Maybethere’sawayIcangetinthere,disarmsomeone-”

“Don’tberidiculous,Caroline.Ifyou’regoingtodothis,exercisesomecommonsense.Thereisno

wayanyonenearSantoswillletyouwithintenfeetofaweapon.Theyknowwhatyou’recapableof.”

Shehadapoint.Dammit.“Wecanfindawaytogetaweapontosomeoneelse.Someoneonthe

inside.Orwecanmobilizeourtroops,sneakin,andblowtheplacetobitsifwehaveto.”

“Oh,yes.Thatisdefinitelyawisecourseofaction.”

“Weknewitwouldn’tbeeasy.Thedamagewouldstillbeminimized.”

“Eitherwayyou’dprobablybegone,”Christinewhispered.

Carolinewouldn’tletherpsychegodownthatdarkroad.Notyet.“It’llworkout.You’llsee.”

“Yourglassisn’texactlyoverflowingonthisone,Punky.”

“IfIkeepsayingit,it’llhappen.”

“Youroptimismis…well,it’ssomething.”Christinestoodup.“IhavesomethingIwanttogiveyou.

Waithere.”

CarolinedrummedherfingernailsonherlegwaitingforChristinetoreturn.Ittooklongerthanshe

thoughtitwould.WhenChristinesatbackdownhereyeswerered.Carolineknewbetterthantomention

it.

Christineplacedaboxinherhand.“Openit.Iwanttoseeifyouknowwhatitis.”

Asilvermedalandchainlayinthebox.Animageofanarchangelintheactofspearingaserpent,

familiartoanycradleCatholic.“SaintMichael?”

“Patronoflawenforcement,”Christinesaid.

“Iknow.”

“Andthemilitary.”

“Iknowthattoo,Chrissy.Ididgotoparochialschoolfornineyears.Sixteenifyoucountcollegeand

lawschool.”

Christinechuckled.“Iwouldn’t.You’vetoldmetoomuchaboutwhatyoudidduringyouryearsat

NotreDame.”

“Wheredidyougetthis?”

“IhadBourgeoisgetitformebeforeweleft.”

“It’saspecialCanadianmedal?”

“StraightfromtheMountiestoyou,”Christinesaid.

Atouchinggift.Whatkindofforesightdidherbestfriendhave?“HowdidyouknowIwouldneed

this?”

“Doyoureallyexpectmetoanswerthatquestion?”

“I’mthatpredictable?”

“Youwouldnever,everaskotherpeopletomakeasacrificegreaterthanyours.It’snotinyourDNA.

Ifyouhadtheabilitytolaydownyourlifesonooneelsewouldsuffer,you’ddoitinaheartbeat.Iknew

you’dneedsomethinglikethis,nomatterwhatyouendedupdoingasthiscoldwarwenton.”Shetookthe

boxoutofCaroline’shand.“Tobesafe,Ithinkyoushouldputitonnow.I’mnottakinganydamnchances

withyou.Standup.”

Carolineliftedherhair,andChristinefastenedthechainaroundherneck.“SancteMichael,

praesidiummeum,sororbellator,”shewhispered.

Carolinetuckedthemedalunderhershirt.“Really,Chrissy?YouwhipouttheLatinbutsayFrenchis

pointless?”

Christinekissedhercheek.“Quiet.”

“Ican’tbelieveyouhassledmealltheseyearswhenyouspeakadeadlanguage.”

“It’snotdead.It’stimeless.”

Carolineinstinctivelypattedherchest,feelingthemedalagainstherskin.“Idoubtthisisnecessary.

I'mnotsureI'mCatholicanymore.”

Christineshrugged.“Iam.Andyou'retoonicetorejectagift,especiallyfromme.”

“Areyougoingtotellmewhatyoujustsaid?”

“SixteenyearsofCatholiceducationandyoudon’tspeaktheancienttongueofMotherChurch?”

Hadn’tshebeenpayingattention?“IwasbornafterVaticanII,asyouwere.”

Christinesmiledather.“I’mnottelling.You’lljusthavetowonder.”

“Canyougivemeahint?”

“No.That’sbetweenmeandSaintMichael.”

Carolinethrewherarmsaroundher.“Thankyou,”shewhispered.

Christinesniffedloudly.“Ican’tbelieveyou’redoingthisagain.You’reright.Yourlifeisareally

badsoapopera.”

“Orareallygoodone,”Carolinesaid.“IwanttowinaDaytimeEmmy.ThinkIhaveachance?”

“WeareclosetoHollywood.”Christinepulledawayfromher.“Makesureyoumakeitoutinablaze

ofglory,withthatsolidbackgroundmusicyoumentionedearlier.”

Chrissywasshaky,butshe’dgetby.Shealwaysdid.Sophiewouldbebacksoon.Carolinewould

needtodealwiththatissuelater.Butfornow…shehadtotalktoJack.

“WillyoubeokayifIleave?”sheasked.

“Yes.”

“Areyoulying?”

“Yes.”

“Doyouwantmetogetyousomebooze?”

“No,”Christinesaidsoftly.“Gohometoyourhusband.You’llhavetimeformelater.”

Sheabsolutelywould.Evenifshehadtomakealistofallthethingsshehadtosay,she’dgive

Chrissyallthetimeshewanted.“Iloveyou.”

Christinegulpedbackasob.“Iloveyoutoo.Go.I’llbefine.Ipromise.”

IfonlyCarolinecouldbelievethat.

Shecouldn’tfacethegirls.Notyet.MaybeJackwouldstaywithher.Helpherreassurethemthatthey

weremakingtheempatheticchoice.Thecorrectone.Shecouldwhipoutadecentutilitarianargumentbut

pragmatismrarelycarriedthedaywhenfeelingswereinvolved.Carolinecouldplan.Writethingsdown.

Sayallthethingssheneededtosay,evenifshe’dneverrunoutofthingstotell.Theywouldknow.They’d

allknow.

WithNickyithadbeensosudden.She’dbeenwoefullyunpreparedfortheaftermath,unawareofthe

manyregretsshe’dhave.Thehardlessonhadn’ttaughtheradamnthing.Hadshesaidpropergoodbyesto

Bob?ToEllie?ToJenandKatie?Wassuchathingevenpossible?

Carolineremainedtrappedinherthoughts,musclememoryandroutineguidingherfromChristine’s

apartmenttoherown.Maybeshepassedpeople,maybetheysaidsomething.WouldJackbehomeor

wouldhebealoneinhisofficewatchingthesunset,ponderinghisroleandhisdecisions?Sheneedn’t

worry,becausehewassittingonthecouchwhenshegothome,aglassofbourboninhishand.Naturally.

“Hi,”shesaidsoftly.

Hetiltedhisheadtowardtheseatnexttohim.Shedutifullysatdown,waitinganxiouslyduringthose

firstfewuneasymomentsuntilhebroughthisarmsaroundher.

“Hi,”heechoed.

“Longday.”

“Yeah.”

Maybetheycouldbreakoutfullsentencesafterhefinishedafewmoredrinks.“How’dthemeeting

go?”sheasked.

Hepolishedoffhisdrink.“Idon’twanttotalkaboutthatnow.Sitwithmeawhile.”

Classicavoidance.Itcouldn’tlastforever.Andsilentcontemplationcoupledwithaffectiondidn’t

seemsoawful.ItwascompletelydarkbythetimeJackspokeagain.

“Howaboutatwilighttriptothebeach?”

“Theactualbeach?Theoneafewmilesdowntheroadthatisn’tonthebase?”

“Wecantakeourbodyguards,”Jacksaid,thenwinkedather.“Iftheykeeptheirdistance.”

“AnglingtodoarecreationofthatsceneinFromHeretoEternity?”

“ThatsoundswonderfulbutIthoughtyou’dliketoseetheocean.Wecantakeawalk.Nobigdeal.”

Theonlythingmoredamagingthanwhentheysaidhorriblethingstoeachotherwaswhentheyflat-

outlied.Butshewouldhonorhisrequest.Therehadtobeamethodtohismadness.“Atasteoffreedom,”

shesaid.

“Yes.We’vebeencoopedupfortoolong.Youdeserveabreak.”

CarolinesentatexttoGig,givinghimthescoop.“Thenlet’sgo.”

Theystayedthereforhours.TruetoJack’splan,Gig,Crunch,andJonesiebarelygavethemasecond

glance,focusedmostlyonpatrollingtheedgeofthebeach.Almosttotalprivacy.Carolineranintothe

waterandalmostfelldown,andJacklaughed.Shepushedhiminandhepulledherwithhim,andthey

weresoaked.Shechasedhimacrossthedunesandtheyendedupcoveredinsand.Neveroncedidthey

touchthethirdrail.Thedreadeddiscussion.Itwouldhavetohappeneventually.Buttherewasa

heavinessthere,theconstantdripofdreadthathungoneverywordtheyuttered.Theweightofthe

inevitable.Thetwoofthemhadn’tabandonedtheirpoliticalrootscompletely,becausetheyweredamn

goodatduckinganddodging.

Jackbrushedthesandoffherback,andsheturnedaround.“That’salostcause,darling.”

“Ihavetotryanyway.Don’twanttomessuptheJeep.”

Hehatedborrowingthevehiclesonthebase.Ifithadbeensunnyout,hewouldhavesuggestedthey

walk.“Whydoyoucare?”

“Oldhabitsdiehard,Iguess.”Hepulledhertohim.“Iwanttotellyousomething.”

Hisvoicehadchanged,andnotinagoodway.“Whatisit?”

“Icamehere,”hesaidsoftly.“Thisveryspot,rightafterIarrivedonthebase.Atnight.Nooneknew

Iwashere.”

Thatsoundedominous.“Why?”

Heclosedhiseyes.“Imissedyousofuckingmuch.SoIcamehereto…Idon’tknow.Findpeace?

Understand?Ihadmygunwithme,and-”Hisvoicebroke.

Definitelyominous.Theprotectiveglassaroundthealarmwasshattered.“Whatwereyougoingto

do,Jack?”

“IthoughtabouthowmuchIwantedtoseeyouagain.They’dbroughtusthoserecordsadayortwo

earlierandIknew–Ithoughtyouhadn’tmadeit,andI-”

Shehuggedhim.“Oh,Monty.”

“Ithrewthegunintotheoceantoberidofit,butitwasn’tenough.Iimaginedwadingintothewater

and…lettingittakemeaway.”

Shewassurprisedhehadn’tcomplained,shewasholdingontohimsotightly.“Iwouldhavedonethe

samething,inyourshoes.”

Hewasn’tlettinggoofher.Hejuststaredoutatthewater,relivingthatpainfulmoment.Wasthatwhy

hehadinsistedtheygotothebeach?Sohecouldwallowinhismiserybeforetheybothduganeven

deeperhole?Theirweakattemptatdatenighthadn’tturnedoutnearlyasromanticallyasCarolinehad

hoped.Shedidn’tlikewherethisconversationwasheaded.

“Iattemptedtoclearmyhead,listentothewavescrashingagainsttherocks,trymydamndestto

figureoutwhatthefuckIwasdoing.”Hekickedatthesand.“AndIwept.Inthedark.Alone.Whenthe

sunstartedtoriseIwentbacktomyapartmentandcurleduponthecouch,wishingI’ddoneamillion

thingsdifferently.”

Carolineranherhandsthroughhishair.“Monty-”

“Istillhadyourgun.Icouldn’ttossit.Isawthoseinitialsetchedintothebottomanditwasonemore

pieceofyouIcouldn’tquiteletgo.Iwantedtobewithyou,sobadly.Iknewtherewasonlyonewayto

doit.”

“Stop,Jack,”shewhispered.

Heloweredhisheadandfinally,finallyputhisarmsaroundher.“I’msosorry,sweetheart.”

“Youhavenothingtoapologizefor.”

“Isatthereforhours,holdingyourguninmyhands.Testingitsweight.ImissedyousomuchandI-”

Shedidn’twanthimtosayit.He’dsufferedenough.“Don’t.”Carolineputherfingerstohislips.

“Whatstoppedyou?”

“Natalieknockedonthedoor.”

“Iguessthat’sanotheroneIoweherfor.”

Hepulledaway,eversoslightly,hiseyesdriftingtowardthewater.Hekepthisarmaroundher,

squeezinghershoulderoccasionally.Carolineleanedincloseranddidn’tspeak.

“We’vebeenthroughalot,youandI,”Jacksaidquietly.

“Yeah.”

“Andthegirls,andChristine.Allofus.We’vemadeoursacrifices,borneourburdens,comeoutthe

bestwecould.”

Carolinesniffled,nodding.

“Madealotoftoughdecisions.”

Wherewashegoingwiththis?Wasshesupposedtorespond?Sheleanedincloser.

“We’vemadethosedecisions,butwecanwalkawayfromthemifwewant.Ifyouwant.”

Wouldthatbetheproperthingtodo?Walkaway?Theyhadsacrificedalot;maybeitwastimefor

someoneelsetotaketherisk.Whatwoulditmeaniftheydid?Whatexamplewouldbesetifthey

abandonedthecause?“Icanwalkaway,”shewhispered.

Jackswepthisthumbacrosshercheek.“No.Youknowyoucan’t.Youhavetogo.It’stherightthing

todo.”

“Ithoughtyousaidthisstrugglewasn’tworthriskingme.”

“IknowdamnwellwhatIsaidandyouknowdamnwellwhyIsaidit.”

“Jack-”

“Caroline,you’vedonesomuch.Maybetoomuch.YouaretrulythemostcourageouswomanIhave

evermet.Thatisn’tlipservice.Imeanit.Youknowinyourheartthatifyoudon’tdothis,you’llregretit.

Youdon’twanttospendyourwholelifelookingoveryourshoulder,wonderingifyoucanevermoveon,

holdingontohopethatsomedayyoucangobackhome.Thisisbiggerthanpolitics,biggerthan

democracy,biggerthanus.”

“ButChrissyandthegirls-”

“They’llunderstand.”Hekissedherforehead.“Iloveyou,Caroline.SogoddamnmuchIcan’teven

wrapmyheadaroundit.IloveyouenoughtoletyougoifIhaveto.Tomaketheworldsafeforour

children,forourgrandchildren.BecauseIknowyou’retoughenoughtodoit.”

Allofheruncertaintyboiledover.She’dtalkedagoodtalk.Pretendedshewasn’tcompletely

terrified.Actedlikeitwasnobigdeal,thatitwasaneasydecisiontomakeindefenseoffreedom.

Tellingherselfthestandardline,thekindshe’doftenspoutinspeeches.Valorouspeoplealways

answeredthecalltosacrifice.Todolesswouldbetobetrayhervaluesinthemostcallouswaypossible.

Onandon…exceptshe’ddoneitsomanydamntimesshewasn’tsureshehadanygasleftinhertank.

Carolinestartedtocry.“Idon’tknowifwe’remakingtherightchoice.”

Jacktippedherchinup.“It’snotaboutchoices.DemocracyisthelifebloodofAmerica.Andyou

believeinthesystem,enoughtodefenditdowntoyourverylastbreath.Allofyourideals,yourhopes

anddreams…theyceasetomatterifyouabandontheminyourdarkesthour.Wehavetoseethisthroughto

theend.”

“Andifwefail?”

“Thisisourbestshot,sweetheart.Wehavetotakeit.”

We.Notyou.Asubtledifference,butanimportantone.“It’sahellofachance,”Carolinesaid.

“Puttingmyselfouttherelikethat.”

“It’sasacrifice,”Jacknoted.“OneIdon’twanttomake.”

Maybesomesacrificeswereworththerisk.“Thiswillenditeitherway.”

Hepickedupahandfulofsand.“OuradvisorsandIwereabletohashalotofthingsoutafteryou

left.”

Herhusbandwasgoingtobreakhimselfopenevenmoreandshedidn’twanttostophim.“Inagood

way?”

“Avotewastakenbutwehavevetopower.”

“Theresults?”

“Youknowtheresults.Let’snotfooleachotherintothinkingweliveinaworldofpuppiesand

lollipops.Thosemencareaboutyoubuttheyrespectyoumore.”

Itmusthavebeenunanimous.Interesting.“Wasthereahealthydebate?”

“MostlyabouthowtogetyououtofWashingtonwithoutanyonegettingkilled.”

“Isthatpossible?”

“We’veplanneditwell.Ourallieswillhelpwithprotectingandpreservingvitalavenuesof

commerceandtransportation.We’llsmuggleafewtroopsintobackyouup.Ourwindowisnarrow,so

we’regoingtothrowitallatthewall.”

Therewerealotofuncertainties.Alotofhope.Andnotalotofdetails.Hopefullyhe’dclueherin

oncethingsweresolidified.Buttheyhadlegitimatehelp,experiencedmilitaryleadersbothforeignand

domestic.Carolinetrustedtheirjudgment.

“Wecanmakeitwork,”shesaid.“They’llgetmeout.”

“Ihaveeveryconfidencetheywill.”

Shetriednottolethervoiceshake.Ifthiswasreallygoingtohappen,she’dneedeveryounceof

courage.“Youdon’treallywantmetogo,doyou?”

“No.Idonot.Iamgoingtodoeverydamnthinginmypowertomakesureyougetbackinone

piece.”

“Weneedtotalktothegirls.”

“IthinkyoushouldtalktoMargueritefirst.Sophie’sabitmoredifficult.Moismatureenoughto

handlealittlemorenuanceddiscussion.”

He’dphrasedhisresponsethatwayonpurpose.“I’mflyingsoloonthisone?”

“Yes.It’snotmyplace,sweetheart.”

Butyou’llbealltheyhaveif–Shedidn’twanttocompletethatthought.“Areyousure?Youknow

howtheyfeelaboutyou.”

“AndtheyknowhowIfeelaboutthem.YouandMargueritehavediscussedtheroughstuffbefore.It’s

betterifyouhandleityourself.Wecansitdownasafamilyafterward.”

Hewasn’tsayingthatasacopout.Itwasasubtleshowofadmiration,anodtoherbondwithher

children.“Okay,”shesaid,brushingthesandoffherhands.“Let’sgohome.”

“Thisisalot,”Margueritesaid,takingasipofcoffee.

“Youdon’tsoundterriblysurprised.”

“Comeon,mom.Youdroppedbybeforethesunevencameup.Whateveryoutoldmewasboundto

beimportant.Thisisn’tcompletelyunexpected.Youbeingyouandall.”

Carolinewasn’tsureifthatwasacomplimentornot.“Youseemremarkablycalm.”

“I’mnot.ThisisgoingonthelistofthingsI’mdestinedtodiscusswithatherapist.”

“Isitalonglist?”

“Ihadtobuyasecondcompositionbooktokeeptrack.”

Touché.“Chrissyishavingabitofatime.Jacksayshewantsmetogobut,well-”

“Doyouwanttogo?”

Thatquestionkeptcomingup.Sheneverknewiftheanswerwouldchange.“It’stherightthingto

do.”

“Thatshouldbethemostimportantfactorinyourdecision,I’dsay.”

Sounruffled.Christinehadbeenright.Herdaughterwasarock,despitethesardonichumor.

Goddamn.Andshehadtobedeflectingalittle.Howcouldshenot?“Itseemssounfairformetoaskyou

nottobemadatmeforthisbut-”

“I’mnotmad,”Margueritesaidquietly.“Iknowit’scomplicatedandIknowthatJackwilldo

everythinginhispowertomakesurethiscomesoutallright.”

Shehadsomuchconfidenceinthetwoofthem.Toomuchconfidence.Arguablymorethanhersister

wouldhave.“Feef-”

“Sophiewilllearntounderstand.”

“I’vealreadyaskedsomuchofthetwoofyou.I’msendingyoudowntheunknownpathagain,onlyit

mightbeworsethistime.”

MargueriteputherarmaroundCaroline.“Mom,Iknowwhatyou’rethinking.YouthinkI’mbrushing

thisoff,thatI’mlyingsoyou’llgoandnotworryaboutit.Thetruthis,Iwanttobemad.Iwanttohateit.I

maybeevenwanttohateyoualittleforputtingusinthisposition.ButIcan’t,becauseIknowyou’re

doingthissoSophandIcangohomeagain.”Sheswallowedhard.“Evenifit’swithoutyou.”

Whatanamazingkid.Withanyluck,she’dkeepguidinghersisterdownthesameroad.“Thatmeans

youhaveaheart.Andaconscience.WhichmeansIdidsomethingright.”

“Youdid.YouanddaddyandJackandChristine.Ijusthaveonerequest.”

Carolinehadahunchwhatitwouldbe.“Andwhat’sthat?”

“IwanttogowiththetroopstoWashington.”

“No.Absolutelynot.”

“I’vegonethroughthetraining.Ibelongincombat.TalktoMajorFlaherty.”

Shewasn’tabouttoletherdaughterinonthesecret–thatKeithwasconvincedMargueritewas

meanttobeanofficerwiththerightamountoftimeandtraining.“Noneofthismakesanysenseifyourun

intothefireafterme,”Carolinesaid.“I’mdoingthisforyou,notwithyou.Thereis,unfortunately,a

difference.”

“Iknow,”Margueritesaid.“Thecurseofbeingraisedbyamotherwhogotcaughtupintheidealism

ofpublicservice.Besides,you’regoingtocomeback.You’llfindaway,eveniftheplangoestoshit.”

Margueritehadmuchmorefaiththanshedid.“Istilldon’tknowhowIendedupwithakidlikeyou.”

“Goodgenes.”ShekissedCaroline’scheek.“Ireallyamproudtobeyourspawn.Andthat’snever

goingtochange.”

Spawn.Shewasdefinitelyhermother’ssassydaughter.“YouwillneverbeasproudofmeasIamof

you.”CarolineheldMargueritetighter.“Iloveyousomuch,MoMo.Thisisn’teasyformetodo.Talking

aboutthiswithyou,thinkingaboutwhatI’mgoingtotellSophie.I’veputyouthroughsomuchandI’m

doingitagainand-”

“Youhavetodoit,”Margueriteinterjected.“It’snotupfordebate.We’llkeepsayingitifithelpsyou

processyourdecisionbetter.Butyou’renotmakingitonyourown.”

Suchinsight.“Iknow.”

“Sophiewillgetit.I’llworkonher.SowillChrissyandJack.”

“I’mdoingthissoyou’llhaveafuture.”

“Iknow,”Margueritesaidquietly.

Don’tcrydon’tcrydon’tcry.Thesobcrawledupherthroatanyway.“Makeitcount,Mo.Okay?

Makeallofthismatter.”

Herdaughterthrewherarmsaroundheragain.“That’sonethingyouwillneverhavetoworryabout.

Let’sgotalktoSoph.”

ChapterTwenty-Four

Theyhadafewdays.Maybeaweek.Theywantedtimetopreparebutdidn’twantthewindowleft

opentoowide.EverydaySantosremainedinofficeputmillionsatrisk.Thecitizenrywasgrowing

restless;itwasnolongerclearexactlywhatorwhotheywereprotesting,butitdefinitelywasn’tSantos.

Strangehowrealitycouldbebenttoservespecificpurposes.Carolineremindedherselftohavefaithin

herfellowAmericans,thatthey’dstepupwhenthetimewasright.Repressionmadeforahopeless

populacebutarevolutionarysparkcouldturnthingsaroundinaheartbeat.

Herchildrenweretakingitremarkablywell.They’dbeenspendingalmosteverywakingmoment

together,alongwithChristine.CarolinehadsaidherpiecetoJones,Gig,andCrunch,whoremainedtight-

lippedabouttheirinvolvementinanyplansfortheliberationofthecapital.Caroline’smainfocuswas

makingsureshewasasmentallyandphysicallystrongaspossible,whichmeantconfrontingherfears.

Besttostartwithoneoftheeasierones.

“They’regoingtocuffme,”shetoldJack,aftertheyreturnedfromoneoftheirworkouts.

“Ihopethat’salltheydo.”

“Idon’tknowhowI’mgoingtoreact.”

Jackputhisarmaroundher.“Howdoyouwanttohandlethat?”

“ThisisgoingtosoundstupidbutIthinkweshouldpractice.”

“Practicewhat?”

“Beingrestrained.Inasafeenvironment.Maybethatwouldhelp.”

“You’resayingyouwantmetocuffyou?”

Hedidn’tsoundallthatenthusiastic.“Itmightwork,”shesaid.

“Idon’thaveanyhandcuffs.I’msureIcouldgetsome.”

“Maybeweshouldtryputtingmyhandsbehindmybackfirst.Takeitstepbystep.Anddon’tgiveme

thatlook,”Carolinesaid.

“Sorry,”hesaid.“Justreminiscing.”

“Wearen’tgoingtobenearabedwhenwe’redoingit.”

“Itmighthelpifwewere.”

“Thisisserious,Jack.Idon’t–Iwanttobeready.”

“Iknow.I’llhelp,okay?”

Carolinepulleduphersleeves,rubbingthescarsonherwrists.“You’regoingtohavetobecruel.”

“I’mnotsureIlikethat.”

Asifshedid.“Wehavetoseewhathappens,Jack.Ican’tkeepmywitsaboutmeifIblackout.And

youneedmetostaycalm,right?”

“Right,”hesaid.“Youneedtobefocused,clearheaded,andforGod’ssake,don’tbecheeky.”

Oh,shedefinitelycouldn’tpromisenottomouthoff.“IfI’mcuffedandcoherentIgettobea

smartass.”

Jackmarchedaroundher,grabbingherarmsandyankingthembehindherback.“Youdon’tgettobe

anythingexceptwell-behaved.Understand?”hesnarled.

Carolineclosedhereyes.Shecouldfindsomewaytoconcentrateonthetaskathand.Ifshewas

cuffedduringoraftertransport,shecouldfocusonkeepinghershoulderslimber.Onminimizingaches

andpains.Shetensedherarms,seeingifthatwouldbringrelief.

“Understand?”Jackrepeated.

Shecouldfindhersafeplace.JackwastheoneyankingherarmsbutJackwasalsosafe.Shecould

thinkofgoodJack.DotingJack.LovingJack.

“Yes,”shesaidclearly.

“Good.”Hespunheraround,releasingherarms.“Howwasthat?”

“Ikindofwanttokissyourightnow,”Carolinesaid.

Jacklaughed.“EvenIthinkthat'salittlefuckedup.”

“Ican'thelpit.”

Heleanedin.“IsupposeIcantakeonefortheteam.”

Along,toe-curlingembracewasallsheneededtorejuvenateherself.“Canwepracticeagain?”

Hetookherhand,guidinghertowardthebedroom.“Later,”hesaid.“Much,muchlater.”

Sweet,romantic,affectionatesexwasawelcomedistractionfromthetrialsCarolinestillhadtoface.

Butitwasn’tenough.WhenshewasinJack’sarmsherworriesvanished.Butassoonaspost-coitalbliss

fadedshe’dbebackwhereshestarted,withthatbizarresenseofdoomshecouldn’tquiteputafingeron.

Thesecretsshehadyettoshare.

SantosknewabouthertimeinTheHague.Murdockknewaboutit.Herfamilyandfriendsknew

aboutit.Buttheyhadneverheardthewholestory.Itwasn’tuntilsherealizedeverybitofhertestimony–

everygoddamnword–wouldbesubjecttodisclosurethatshesuccumbedtoafull-onpanicattack.

Sheknewitwascounterproductive.She’dconqueredherfearofhavingherarmspinchedbehindher

back.She’dlearnedtochannelherangerandrageintoconstructivethoughtpatterns,intoroutines

designedtokeepheralertandawareonceshemetSantosfacetoface.Hewouldn’taskhertoturnherself

inandpotentiallyfacehisversionofjusticewithoutseeingherinperson.Hisegowouldn’ttolerate

anythinglessthantakingonthetaskhimself,whichwaswhattheirallieswerecountingon.His

obsessionswouldensurehisdefeat,sotheyhoped.

Carolinehadtofacetheprospect,howeverminiscule,thatshemightnotmakeitoutoftheWhite

Housealive.Thesecretthatdemonstratedwhoshereallywashadtoberevealed.NatalieandChristine

didn’twaverwhensheaskedthemtocomeoverfordinner.Itwasanexpectedinvitation,buttheydidn’t

expecttobediningwithherandJackalone.MargueriteandSophiehadretiredforthenight.Aconvenient

coincidence.Carolinedidn’twantthemintheapartmenttowitnessherhypocrisy.

Shewasn’tsurehowtoplayit.Shouldshekeepherphysicaldistance,carefulnottogettoocloseto

anyone,bothmetaphoricallyandliterally?Wouldithelptobenearsomeone?Wouldtheyrecoilinfear,

frownindisappointment,snapinanger?Jack,Christine,andNatalieweregoodpeople.Honest.Decent.

Howwouldtheybeabletotolerateheroncetheydiscoveredwhatshe’ddoneatTheFed?

ChristineandNataliesatonthecouch,leavinghernochoicebuttoplopinbetweenthem.Jacktook

thechairacrossfromthem.Theymadesomepost-dinnersmalltalkbutCarolineremainedquiet,the

echoesoftheirwordsgrowinglouderandlouderinherhead.Theinanityperplexedher.Nothingwas

normalbuttheydidtheirbesttopretenditwas,andshecouldnolongerstandit.Christinewasinthe

middleofarandomanecdotewhenCarolineinterruptedher.

“IhavetotellyousomethingbeforeIlosemynerve.”

Christineshiftedonthecouch.“Whatisit?”

Didshesoundasparanoidandunstableasshefelt?Wouldsheramble?Shenolongercared.“Ineed

totellyoubeforeyoufindoutfromsomeoneelse.IncaseIdon’t-”

Jackstoodup,reachingforher.“Caroline-”

Theycouldtalkaboutalotofthingsbuttheywouldbedamnediftheydiscussedthepossibilityofher

notcomingbackfromWashington.“Ineedtotellyouthis.Butyouhavetopromiseyouwon’thateme.”

Natalietouchedherknee.“Caroline-”

Shecouldn’tkeephercool.Notwhentheyallthoughtshewasmakingabigdealoutofnothing.

“Promiseme!”

Christineplacedahandonhershoulder.“Punky,thereisnothingyoucouldsaythatwouldmakeany

ofushateyou.”

Themovementtowardher.Theslightphysicaltouches.Theyweretryingtoreassureheranditwasn’t

working.“Thismight.”

Christinemethereyes.“ThisisaboutwhathappenedatTheFed.”

“Yes,”Carolinewhispered.“IhadtotalkaboutitinTheHague.Nooneelseknows.Notyou,or

Jack,orNatalie.It’sbad.AndIdon’t-”Hervoicebroke.“Idon’twantthegirlstofindoutwhata

horriblepersonIam.”

Christinescootedclosertoher.“Itcannotbethatbad,Caroline.”

“Itis.”Shewipedhereyes.“Ineedyoutoletmegetthisout,allright?”

Jacknodded.“Goahead,sweetheart.”

Wouldhestillbeusingtermsofendearmentbythetimeshewasdone?Carolineexhaled.“Natalie

knowssomeofthisbut…therewasalotIdidn’ttellher.”Sheturnedtotheyoungerwoman.“I’msorry.”

“Youdon’towemeanyexplanations,”Nataliesaid.“Weunderstandwhyyouheldsomedetailsback.

Keeptalking.”

Thetherapistwouldguidethemall.Carolinecouldpretendshewasinasession.Maybethatwould

work.Shecouldreiteratewhattheyalreadyknew,makingiteasiertotransitiontowhattheydidn’t.

“TherewerealotofprisonersattheholdingfacilitywhereIwasat.AlotofpeopleIknew.Alotof

peopleweknew.Mostofthemwerenotinverygoodshape.IsawBobafewdaysafterIarrived.Briefly,

thenhewasgone.Buthewasn’ttheonlyoneIsaw.Ellenshoweduptoo.Theyputherinthecellnextto

mine.”

“Purecoincidence,I’msure,”Christinemurmured.

Carolinedidn’tmindthatshe’dinterruptedher.Sheneededaminutetoprocessherthoughts.Butshe

didn’tmisstheglareNatalieshottowardChristine.Themovementofherhands.Lethertalk,sheseemed

tobesaying.Soshekeptgoing.“Ihadn’ttoldthemanything.Thatdrovethemnuts.TheyknewIwas

holdingbackandwantedtoswayme.TheagentsbroughtEllentometotrytoloosenmytongue.Itdidn’t

worksotheytookheraway.Icouldhearherscreaming.Shewasinthecellnexttomine.Iwasbegging

hertocalmdowneventhoughshecouldn’thearme.AndthenIheardthemenyellingandagunwentoff

and…shewasquiet.”

Christinebroughtherarmsaroundher.“Isthisokay?”shewhispered,squeezingtighterwhen

Carolineleanedin.“Whathappenednext?”

“They-”Oh,sheneededtosteelherselfforthisone.“Elliedidn’twork,sotheybroughtJennyinnext.

Andshetoldmethey’dkilledKatie.Wegottotalkalittle,holdeachother,beforetheytookheraway.”

Shegulpedagain.“Icouldhearherbeggingformercy,crying,wailingthroughthewalls.Iwasintended

toheareveryword.”Carolineclosedhereyes.“ThenextdayMurdockbroughtJennyintomycell.

They’droughedherupreallygood.Butshehadn’tsaidadamnthing.”Shebroughtherheadup.“Shewas

mygirl.Jennywasmygirl.”

Christinetuckedherhairbehindherear.“Ofcourseshewas.Shedidn’ttellthemanything,didshe?”

“Shedidn’tbreatheaword.ThatreallypissedMurdockoffbutitmademesoproud,”Carolinesaid,

hervoicecracking.“Theycuffedmetoachair,putherinachairfacingme.Oneoftheguardspulledout

hisgun,putittohertemple.AndMurdock–hetoldmetotellthemwhatIkneworthey’dkillher.”She

chokedbackasob.“I’msorry,Jenny.I’msosorry.Ishouldhavedonebetter.”

“It’sokay,Punky,”Christinewhispered.“Youdidn’ttellthemanything,didyou?”

“No,”shemumbled.“Itriedtoapologize,triedtodosomethingtostopthembutJennysaidshewas

ready.Toldmeshedidn’tblameme.Thatshelovedme.Thatshe’dhugKatieforme.”

Sheputherheadinherhands.Shefeltwarmthnearby.Awhiffofcologne.Jack,kneelinginfrontof

her.Natalie,herhandonherback.Christine,whisperingwordsofcomfort.

“It’smyfault,”Carolinechokedout.“Ishouldhave–Ididn’t-”

“It’sallright,sweetheart.”Jackclutchedherhands,kissingthetopofherhead.“It’sallright.”

“Situp,Caroline,”Nataliesaidsoftly.“Please.”

Jackhandedherhishandkerchief,andshestraightenedup.Sheglancedatallthreeofthem.They

werecrying.

“I’msorry,”shesaid.“Ididn’tmeantodisappointyou.”

Christinetookthehandkerchiefoutofherhands.“Caroline,lookatme.”

Ikilledher.IkilledJenny.Don’tyouunderstandthat?Itseemedlikesuchashamefulacttodareto

makeeyecontactwithpeoplewhowereclearlyherbetters,butshedidanyway.

ChristinewipedthetearsoffCaroline’sface.“Whatdoyouthinktheywouldhavedoneifyou’d

cracked?”

Carolineshookherhead.“Idon’tknow.”

“Oh,Punky.Ofcourseyouknow.Theywouldhavekilledheranyway.Youcan’tshouldertheburden

oftheirevilacts.Thiswasnotyourfault.Jensawthemforwhattheywere.Andsherecognizedyoufor

whoyouare.Youneedtodothesame.”

Jackbrushedhisthumbsagainsthercheeks,sweepingafewstraytearsaway.“Christineisright,”he

said.“Thisisn’tyourcrosstobear.Jendoesn’twantyoutoandneitherdowe.”

“Doyouhateme?”Carolinewhispered.

“Lookinmyeyes,”hesaid.“Whatdoyousee?”

Sheblinkedawaythewetness.Tookadeepbreath.Lookedathim.Reallylookedathim.“Isee

love.”

“NowlookatChristine.AtNatalie.Whatdoyousee?”

Carolinecouldn’tlookatthemquiteaslong,buttheirexpressionswerethesame.“Iseelove,”she

repeated.

“That’sright,”Jacksaidgently.“Everypersoninthisroomlovesyou.Yourchildrenloveyou.Ellen

andJenlovedyou.Everyoneyouhaveeverknownlovesyou.You’vebottledthisupfortoolong.Please

letitgo.”

“WhatwillMoandFeefdoiftheyfindout?Idon’twantthemtoknow.”

Jackkissedherforeheadagain.“Stop.Whenyouwanttotellthem,youcan.”

“Ididn’twanttodisappointanyone.”

Theywereallclosetoher.Holdingher.Shedidn’tneedtolookintheireyestoknowhowtheyfelt.

Notanymore.

“TheyforcedyoutomakeaSophie’sChoice,”Nataliesaid.“Theydiditknowingyouwerethekind

ofpersonitwoulddamagethemost.Theyplayedonyourbestqualitiestomakeyoubelievetheywere

yourworst.Andtheyaretheonlypeopletoblame.”

“Imissher,”Carolinewhispered.“Shedidn’tdeservewhatshegot.”

“Noneofyoudid.Butyouarenotexpectedtocarryherloadalongwithyourown.Shealreadytold

younotto.Shouldn’tyoutakeheradvice?”

CarolinetookthehandkerchiefoutofChristine’shands,blowinghernose.“Ishould,butyouknowI

won’t.”

“Yougotitout,”Nataliesaid.“Justdon’tletitcompromiseyouwhenyou’reinatenuoussituation.”

ChapterTwenty-Five

Fivedays.Four.Three.Two.Caroline’sroutinewassimilartowhensheandherunittookonthe

rescuemissioninNevada.Briefings.Discussions.Explanations.Dealingwithhypotheticals,

unanticipatedissues,andthelike.Similarbutfarmorecomplicated,untiltheyweredowntothefinalday.

CarolinewastoflywithanescorttoReaganNational,whereshewouldbemetbyofficialsfromthe

SantosAdministration.Afragileagreementhadbeenstruck-shewastobetransferredtoanunknown

location,whichaccordingtotheirspieswastheWhiteHouse.Herescortwouldbeallowedtoleave.The

SantosAdministrationhadbeenskimpyonthedetails,butrebelinformantshaddoneanoutstandingjobof

separatingfactfromfiction.Therewerestillrisks,though.

“Arescueteamwillbedeployed.OuralliesinCanadaandEuropearealreadymobilizing,andhave

coordinatedtoarrivewithinthesamesixtyminutewindowinwhichCarolineissettoland,”Jacksaid.

“Won’ttheyfigureitout?”Carolineasked.“Whatifthey’respottedwhileI’menroutetotheWhite

House?”

“Weexpectthistomovequickly,”hesaid.“Santosisn’tgoingtowasteanytime.Remember,he’snot

tookeenondueprocess.”

Hisversionofdueprocessprobablymeantsomesortoflongandpainfuldeath.TheEighth

Amendmentwasn’texactlyholdingthemanback.“Iknow.”

“We’llusethattoouradvantage.Bam–yougettotheWhiteHouse.Bam–ourguysgoin.Bam–

Santosisarrestedonhiswarrant.”

Well,thatwasnaïve.“Santosisn’tgoingtowillinglybetakenintocustody,”Carolinesaid.

“Aslongasyou’realive,collateraldamageisirrelevant.”Jackpointedatoneofthemapsonthe

table.“Ourforceswillmodifytheirplansasnecessary,receivingthemostcurrentinformationfromour

spies.Oncethespiesaregiventhesignal,they’llflip.AndSantosisours.”

Inabodybag,mostlikely.ButtheyneededthedistractionofCarolineoritwouldneverwork.Too

bad.Shewouldhavebeenmuchhappierspendingthenextdaybythelakeorinbed,insteadofflyingto

herdoom.

Jackglancedattheclockonthewall.“Timetowrapthisup.Weallhavetopreparefortomorrow.

Keith,checkwiththepilots.Briefourparticipatingunits.I’llescortCommanderGerardhome.”

Noneofthemtalkedmuchatdinner.NatalieandChristineexcusedthemselvesearly,promisingtosee

heroffthefollowingday.Jones,Gig,andCrunchleftsoonafter.MargueriteandSophiestayedbehind,

andtheconversationstartedtoflowagain.ItremindedCarolineofthatlastnightwiththefourofthemin

theGovernor’sMansion,whenthey’dallsqueezedthemselvesintothekingsizebedinthemaster

bedroom,pretendingtosleep.Thenextnight…herchildrenweregone.

MargueriteandSophieretreatedtotheirapartmentshortlyaftermidnight,withhardhugsanda

promisetomeettheirmotherontherunway.Carolineploddedthroughhereveningroutine.Washingher

face.Layingoutherclothesforthenextmorning.Theiradvisorshadrecommendedshewearstreet

clothes,butsherefusedtosymbolicallycapitulatetoamadman.Shewasgoingoutwearingherservice

uniform.Wearingtheranksheearned.Wearingherrealname.Wearingaspectacularpairofuniform-

appropriateheelsbecausefuckit,Santoswasn’ttakinganysmallpleasuresawayfromher.Andmost

importantly,carryinganAmericanflaginaninteriorpocketalongwithpicturesofherfamily.

Shesmoothedthejacketout,arrangedtheskirt,placedthetienexttotheblouse.Madesureher

ribbonswerecorrectlyarranged,herberetstiffandproper.Itwasanintricateprocess,andunsteady

fingersdidn’thelpitalong.

Jackstilledherhands.“That’senoughfortonight,sweetheart.”Hetookoffhisweddingringand

handedittoher.“Ibelievethisbelongstoyou.”

“Youwantmetowearittomorrow?”

“Please.”Heranhisthumbandforefingeraroundtheplatinumbandonherlefthand.“I’dlikethis

back.”

“Thenwhat-”

“Yourengagementring.Youranniversaryband.Wearthemforme.Please?”

Sheswallowedhard.“Okay.”

Hesmiled,retrievingherjewelryfromthetopdresserdrawer.“Good.”

Sheslidoffthesimpleplatinumband,replacingitwithsparklingdiamondsandsapphires.Heplaced

herweddingringonachain,hangingitaroundhisneckbeforerunninghisfingerdownhercheek.

“Yourturn,”hesaid,extendinghishand.Shegavehimhisring,watchinghimplaceitonanidentical

chain.Heturnedheraround.Sweptthestrayhairsaway.Liftedthechainoverherheadbeforefastening

theclaspandtuckingitunderhershirt.“Therewego.I’mwithyoueverystepoftheway.Remember

that.”

Shecouldn’ttakemuchmoreofthis.“Jack-”

“Don’t,”hesaid,leadinghertothebed.“Wedon’thavetodothisnow.”

Carolinelookedupathim,fightingbacktears.“NeverforgethowmuchIloveyou.”

“Wepromisedeachotherwewouldn’tdothis.”

He’dbeenagonizinglystrongforthepastweek,butshecaughtthehitchinhisvoice.Shewillingly

buriedherselfinhischestwhenheextendedhisarms.“Iknow.”

“Wepromised,”herepeated.

Carolineclosedhereyes,tryingtoclearhermind.“Iwastedsomuchtime,”shewhispered.“Why

didIwastesomuchtimewhenIcouldhavespentitwithyou?IthoughtifIkeptyouatarm’slengthit

wouldn’thurtsomuchtoloseyou.”

“Stop,”Jacksaid,andpressedhischeektohers.“Nottonight.”

Shesniffled.“Somuchtime,whenwefirstgottogether.WhenIfirstgothere.Overthelastfew

years.AllthattimeIthrewaway.Withyou,andthegirls,andmyfriends.Iwastedsomuchgoddamn

time.”

“Don’tyoufuckingsecondguessyourlife,yourchoices,orwhoyouare,”hesaid.“Itwon’tdo

anythingexceptdriveyoucrazy.Thisplanwillworkandwe’llhaveallthetimeintheworldtosay

everythingweneedtosay.”

Hekeptrepeatingherwords,likesayingthemagaincouldmakethemringtrue.Carolinelookedupat

himagain,hervisionblurred.“Youandthegirlswillbefine.”

Jackburiedhisnoseinherhair.“Don’t,”hesaidquietly.

“You’retheonlyoneIcantalktoaboutthis.”

“AndI’mnotfuckingstrongenoughtohearit.”

Rightnowshefeltlikehewastheonlystrengthshehad.“Ineedyou.Ijustneedyoutolisten.”

“Youdon’tneedtotalk.Neitheroneofusdo,”hesaidquietly.“Theworldcouldbeblastedfrom

existenceandwewouldceasetoexist,andIwouldstillbelovingyou.Thereisn’tadamnthingyoucould

saytomethatIdon’talreadyknow.Idon’twanttotalk.Justletmebewithyou.”Heledhertothebed.

“Please.”

Theydidn’tspeak.Heheldher,strokingherhair,kissingherforehead,occasionallyhumminganoff

keytune.Itcomfortedherbutcouldn’tkeepherapprehensionfromgrowing.Whenherolledoverandfell

intoarhythmicbreathingpattern,sheknewhe’dunintentionallyfallenasleep.

Herminddriftedtowardthoughtsthathadonceconsumedherwhentherehadbeennothingelseto

occupyhertime.Ofwhatthegovernmentwoulddoiftheygotaholdofheragain.Shecouldn’timagine

howitcouldpossiblybeworsethesecondtimearound,butshe’dalwaysunderestimatedevil.Nowthat

shewasbeingdeliveredtoSantoswithafuckingbowaroundherneck,hewasengineeringhisrevenge.

Sleepwasn’tgoingtohappen.

Jackwaslyingthere,hishairfallingintohiseyes.Healwayslookedyearsyoungerwhenhewas

asleep.Shesweptherpalmacrosshishairlineandhereflexivelyrolledoverandputhisarmaroundher.

Strongandsecure.Thewayitalwaysfeltwhenhewastouchingher.

Carolinestaredattheceiling,herhusband’sarmwrappedaroundherwaist.“I’mscared,”she

whispered.

Heshiftedontopofher,hislipsmeetinghers.“It’sokay.”

“Ididn’tmeanforyoutohearthat.”

“Iknow.”Hekissedheragain.“DidyouthinkIwasasleep?”

Hell,someoneshouldbegettingsomerest.“Ihopedso.”

Hepulledhertohim.“Iwon’tsleepuntilthisisover.”

“Thisisthesecondtimeyou’relettingmego,knowingImightnotcomeback.”

Hetookashakybreath.“Yes.”

Herhusbandcouldreassureherallhewanted.She’dstillhavethatseedofdoubtinhermind.“Do

youhatemeforit?”

Heheldhertighter.“Thereisnothingyoucoulddothatwouldevermakemehateyou.Nothing.”

“SometimesIhatemyselfforit,”shewhispered.

“Thisisgoingtowork,”Jacksaid.“We’regoingtowrapthisupandhaveyouhomeintimefor

dinner.”

Whichhome?Shewantedtoaskbutheldhertongue.Shesnuggledcloser.“HaveItoldyouhow

muchIloveyou?”

Hekissedher.“Youtellmeallthedamntimewithoutasingleword.”

Itwaseasiertoburyherheadinhisshoulderthanlookhimintheeyes.“Idon’tknowwhatIeverdid

todeserveyou.Youterrible,wonderfulman.”

“Asomewhatbackhandedcompliment,”Jacksaid.“OneIwillmostgraciouslyaccept.”

Hereallywasbeautiful.Thestressofthepastfewyearshadn’tdampenedhisfeatures.Exceptnow

shethoughtofmorethanjustthephysicalaspectswhenshelookedathim.

“Youdon’talwayshavetobestrong,”hewhispered.

“Ido,”shesaid.“Especiallytonight.”

“Tonightistheonetimeyoudon’thavetobestrong.Letmebestrongforyou.Carrythatwithyou

tomorrow.”

Hewasright.He’dgetherthroughanything.Carolinethoughtaboutthefamilyphotoconcealedinher

uniformjacket.Aboutthemedalandtheweddingbandaroundherneck.Abouteverymemorythey’d

collectedthroughtheyears.Theyfinallyhadtheirfamilybackandtherewasariskitwouldbetornapart

again.Shedidn’twanttoregretanythingelse,notwhenshemightonlyhaveafewhoursleftonearth.

“Peopleneverreallythinkaboutthelasttimethey’regoingtohavesexwithsomeone,”shesaid.

“Thelasttimethey’regoingtokissthemgoodbye.Thelasttimethey’llheartheotherperson’svoice.

Wetakeourrelationships,ourspouses,ourpartnersforgranteduntiloneday,poof,it’sover.Maybe

we’dallbealittlebetteroffifwelivedeachdayasifitmightbethelast.”

“Makelovetome,”shewhispered.

“Youhatethatphrase.”

“Youdon’t.”Shestrokedhischeek.“Iwanttogiveyouyoursweetmemory.”

Heclosedhiseyes,pressinghisnosetoherhair.“Iloveyoumorethanlifeitself,”hemurmured.

“AndIamconstantlyinaweofyou.”

“Please,”shesaid.“Givemesomethingtoremembertomorrowwheneverythinggoesdarkandallof

myoptionsturnbad.”

Jackkissedher.“Quiet,”heordered.“Notanotherword.”

Shesmiledanddidexactlyashesaid.

Allnight.He’dbeeninsideherallnight.Thatwasprobablytheclosesttoforevershewasgoingto

get.They’donlydoneitonce,wantingtomakeitlast,knowingthatneitheroneofthemwouldbesleeping

anyway.Hespenttimeoneachscar,lovedher,heldher,madeherrealizetheymadehermorebeautiful,

moreappealing,moredesirable.Madeherviewthemasvictories,notlosses.Asthelightstartedpeeking

throughthewindows,Jackfinishedinsideher,sweepingherhairback,whisperingwordsoflove.They

hadalittletime.Timetoholdeachotherandwatchthesunrise.

“Weshouldgetready,”hefinallysaid.“Notmuchtimeleft.”

Whatagloomywaytophraseit,evenifitwasn’thisintent.Maybeshecouldattempttobeplayful.

“Wanttoshowerwithme?”sheasked.

Heshookhishead.“Yougofirst.I’llmakebreakfast.”

Shelingeredinthebedroomafterhehelpedhergetdressed.Sheknewsheshouldeat,thatshewould

needherstrength,buttheconceptoffoodmadeherfeelnauseated.Whatsheneeded,offensivethoughit

seemed,wassometimebyherself.Jackdidn’tquestionit.Hemerelykissedherontheforeheadandshut

thedoorashelefttotakehisownshower.

Letters.Sheshouldhavewrittenletters.Didshehavetime?No,she’dtrustMotohelpFeef.She’d

trustChrissytotellallthestoriesshehadn’tyetshared.She’dtrustJonesieandCrunchandGigtokeep

theflameofrebellion.ButJack…Jackwouldneedaletter.

Itwasshort.Sheknewexactlywhattosay.He’dbeexpectingmorebutitdidn’tfeelrighttowaxon.

Shefoldedthesmallsheetofpaperandtuckeditintoherjacketbeforeheadingintothekitchen.

JunemorningsinsouthernCaliforniaweren’tsupposedtobecold,butCarolineshiveredasthey

walkedacrossthetarmactowardtheplane.

“You’llgetthereearlyafternoon,”Jacksaid.“We’llbetrackingtheflight,communicatingwithour

contacts.Beflexible.Don’ttrytotellfriendfromfoe.Stallwhenyoucan,butnotifitcompromisesyour

safety.Yourrescueteamwillberightbehindyou.”

Shestillwasn’tsurehowthatpartoftheplanwasgoingtowork,buttheiradvisorshadreassuredher

thattheCaliforniaRepublicanArmyhadaircraftthatcouldevaderadardetection,whetherthrough

altitudeorothermeans.She’dhavetotrustitworked,orshe’dbeonherdamnownwithSantos.

“Iknow,”shesaidsoftly.“We’rethelastoneshere.”

“Onlyfitting,”hesaid.“Theplanewon’tleavewithoutyouanyway.”

Theyhadafewminutes.Toomuchtimeandnotnearlyenough.Onehugeach,sheexplained,because

ifshedidmorethanthatshewouldn’tbeabletoleave.Thesceneseemedalltoofamiliar,likeasnowy

nightinHarrisburg.Thelasttimeshe’dbeenconvincedthatshe’dneverseeherchildrenagain.Except

nowshewasprepared.

Margueritesalutedher.“Goodluck,Commander.”

Carolinehumoredher,returningthesalutebeforeturningtoSophie.“Don’tletherlordherposition

inthisrebellionoveryou.IwanttohearaboutitallwhenIgetback.”

Sophiesmiled,herlowerliptrembling.“Seeyoulater,mom.”

Nevergoodbye.Alwaysseeyoulater.

Christinekissedhercheek.“Getitdone,Punky.”

Shefeltlikeshewastrudgingtowardoblivion.ThankGodshe’dalreadyrunintoJones,Crunch,and

Gigandsaidhergoodbyespriortoheadingtotheairstrip.

Justonepersonleft.Carolineswallowedhard.“Well,”shesaid.

“Well.”Jackmotionedtowardtheplane.“We’vedonethisdrillbefore.”

Shecouldgivehimmorethanahug.Sheleanedinforalongkiss.“ThistimeI’mnotafraidtotell

youhowIfeel.Iloveyou,JohnMontgomeryMcIntyre.Don’tyoueverdoubtthat,notevenforaminute.”

“Ilikewhenyourepeatmybestphrasesbacktome.”Hestraightenedherberetbeforekissinghera

finaltime.“Finishthatbastardoffandgetyoursweetassbackhere.”

Shereachedintoheruniformjacketandhandedhimthenote.“Don’treadthisuntilI’mgone,okay?”

Hefalteredaminutebeforeshovingitintohispocket.Hepressedhislipstoherforehead,lingering

thereformorethanafewseconds.“Befearless,mylove.”

Nowshereallywasgoingtocryifshedidn’tscoot.Somehowshemanagedtostandupalittle

straighter,hershouldersbackandherheadheldhigh.“Iwill,”shesaid.

ChapterTwenty-Six

CarolineandatwopersoncrewlandedatReaganintheearlyafternoon.Theairportwasn’t

crowded;fewerflightsweregoinginandoutofthenation’scapital.Shewonderedwhatthefew

stragglersintheairportmustthink,watchingawomandraggedfromamilitarytransportplane,shoved

roughlyintohandcuffs,andplacedinthebackofapresidentiallimotobetakenGodknewwhere.

HerescortswereU.S.Army,shethought.Hardtotellwhowaswhat.Theuniformswerealittleoff

butlookedtobemilitaryissue.TheoddstillnessthathadovercometheUnitedStatesduringSantos’reign

hadintensified.Shecouldn’tquiteputherfingerontheunease.Shewonderedifeveryonefeltit.Somany

peopleintheDistrictappearedtosimplybelivingtheirlives,goingabouttheirday,oblivioustowhat

wasgoingon.Butthereweresigns.Anincreaseingraffiti,someofitsubversive.Astrangequiet,asif

thecity’sheartbeatlaydormant.Moreemptybuildingsandabandonedbusinesses.Howonearthhad

Santosconvincedsomanypeoplethatthingswerefine?Weretheyunmindfulonlybecauseitmaynothave

affectedthemdirectly?Theapathywasastounding.

Itdidn’ttakemuch.Cracksappearinginthefoundation.Aloadbearingwallstartingtoloseits

stability.Ittybittycluesthatleftastructurestandingperfectlyfineuntilitcollapsedintorubble.Thesigns

couldallbetherebutintheend,ademocraticsystemcouldbedestroyedinseconds.Especiallyifnoone

demandedaccountability.

Carolineclosedhereyes,doingherbesttofocusonsomethingotherthanthescenery.Shecould

drawstrengthfromlove.Confidence.Courage.Butlovelefthervulnerable.Soft.Hopelesslyhelpless.

Shehadtohopethatwhateveritgaveherwasenough,andthosewhogaveittoherwouldunderstand

regardlessoftheoutcome.

Shethoughtofthephotoinherjacket.Ofthenoteshe’dwrittenJack.Ofallthememories–newand

old–thatshe’dmadewithherfamilyandfriends.Shewasn’tdoneyet.Yes,shecouldgetthroughthis.

Forgetthetwistedreality,thedestructivearcaneparallelsracingthroughhermind.Shehadtolookat

Washington,herWashington,onemoretime.

Somegovernmentbuildingsweredamaged,buttheJeffersonMemorialremainedintact.The

Smithsonian.TheCapitol,therotundabrightwhiteagainstthecloudlesssky.Metrostopsandhotelsand

museums.Sheembracedthemall,extricatingthesplendorfromthesqualor.

ThecardrovedownPennsylvaniaAvenue,turningtowardtheWhiteHouse.Carolinespunaround,

catchingaquickglimpseofthemilitarystatuesfacingtheNorthLawn.VonSteuben.Kosciusko.Jackson.

Rochambeau.Lafayette.Allheroes.Alldead.Whenthevehiclecametoastopthesoldiersyankedherout

ofthebackseatwithoutaword.

TheWhiteHousewasacuriousplace.Aparadox.MeantforallthepeopleyetmostAmericanshad

neverseenhowittrulylookedontheinside.

Carolinehad,morethanonce.Granted,she’dneverbeenescorteddownthehalltotheOvalOfficein

handcuffs.Shemuchpreferredherothervisits.Therewereafewpeoplemillingaround.Staffers,maybe?

Sheknewshewassupposedtoavoideyecontactbutcouldn’thelpwonderingaboutthemasshewalked

by.Weretheyherspies?Herhelpers?Weretheytheoneswhowouldbustinandliberateherinthenick

oftime?OrweretheyjustascomplicitasSantosandhiscadreoffollowers?

She’dneverbeengiventhespecificsofwhowascomingtorescueher;lackofknowledgemeantshe

hadnothingusefultodisclose,ifSantostookitthatfar.Curiositywasenoughtokeepheronhertoes.She

hadtokeephimtalking.Headoredthesoundofhisownvoiceandwouldwanttogiveheradamngood

lecture.Shecouldtakeit.

Acompetentpresidentwouldbeabletofocus.Wouldknowwhattoemphasize,frompolicydownto

procedureandetiquette.Butacantankerousleaderwasbrittle.He’dbetheworstincarnationofaBond

villainormonologuingevildoer,believinghisopinionsandobservationswerefarsuperiortoanyone

else’s.

Yes,shecouldkeephimtalking.Pokethebear,sotospeak.Shekepthergazeontheendofthehallas

theyreachedtheOvalOffice.Thesoldiersknocked,waitedbriefly,thenopenedthedooranddraggedher

inside.

“Well.”Santosrosefromhisdesk.“Lookwho’shere.”

Hewasn’therpresident.Hewasn’tapresidentatall.Shestoodthereanddidn’tsayaword.

“Catgotyourtongue?”heasked.“Thatwillchange.”

Good.Hersilencepissedhimoff.Roundonewasunderway.Santosstrodearoundthedesk,leaning

againstthefront.

“Leaveus,”hesaid.

OneofthesoldierssteppedclosertoCaroline.“Sir-”

Santoswavedhimoff.“Isaidleaveus.”

Cockyandbombastic.Hedidn’tneedsecurity.Notwhenhewasupagainstahandcuffedwoman.His

physicalandmentalinferior.Thiswasgood.Betterthananticipated.Ifitwasjustthetwoofthem,he

wouldnevernoticeifshegothimonatangent.Therewouldbenoonetobringhimbacktothetopicat

hand.

Keephimtalking.

Carolineheardthedoorclickbehindher.Shewassuretherewasasecuritysysteminplace,maybe

evencameras.Shecouldn’ttryanythingstupid.Andyet...“Lorenzo,”shesaid.

Hefrowned.“IbelieveyoumeanttosayMr.President.”

Shecouldplaythisgame.Playitwell.“Lorenzo.”

“Insolence.Howcharming.Andwhatacutelittleoutfityou’rewearing.Pretendingtoplaysoldier?”

Shestoodalittletaller.“Doingaprettyeffectivejobofit,actually.”

“Yes,”hesaid.“Neverwouldhavetakenyouforit,butpeoplecansurpriseyou.”

Theycertainlycan.Sheshruggedinspiteofthehandcuffs.“Ilivetogive.”

Heproppedonefootuponachair,restingahandonhisknee.“You’vehadquiteafewadventures.

TryingtodestroyallthegoodI’vedone.Don’tthinkIdon’tknowwhereyou’vebeen.”

“That’sfunny,”Carolinesaid.“Accordingtomysources,youdidn’tevenknowIwasaliveuntila

weekortwoago.”

Santoslaughed.“Suchanastywoman.WereyouthisdisrespectfultoJeffrey?”

“Oh,Iwasmuchworse.”

“I’mnotsurprised.”Heswungbackaroundhisdesk,pullingahandgunoutofthetopdrawer.“That

mustcease,unfortunately.Myindulgenceendsnow.”

Hewasmovingfasterthanshehadplanned.Hiseagernesswaspositivelypeevish.Shehadn’t

anticipatedit,hadtoslowhimdownalittle.Werethereanymoregunsinthere?Wouldshebeableto

createadistractiontoallowhertoslidepasthimandsearchforherself?

No,thatwasunwise.ShecouldhearJackandChristineyellingathertothinkrationally.Bepractical.

Keep.Him.Talking.

“YoumustbequiteupsetthatMurdockrantoCanada,”Carolinesaid.“Didhegrowapairordidyou

cutthemoff?”

“Jeffreywastooambitiousforhisowngood.Hewasneverabletoproperlyinterpretmydirections.”

Santosletthegundroptohisside.“Bernardhadthesameproblem.It’sprobablywhyhemetthesameend

asyou.”

VicePresidentGundersonhadindeedbittenthedust.“Didyoutakecareofhimyourself?”

Hechuckled.“No.Igenerallydon’tgetinvolvedinthe…dirtywork,sotospeak.You’reanotable

andworthyexception.”

“Howniceforme,”shemurmured.

Santostuckedthegunintohispocket.“Suchashameyoudidn’twanttojoinmyteam.Ifnothingelse,

you’regoodforalark.”

“Perhapsyoushouldhaveofferedmethepositionofcourtjester.Imayhaveaccepted.”

“Idoregrethowyouweretreatedwhileincustody.Whenyouwerebeingquestioned,theguards

wereunderordersnottotouchyouinappropriately.Theyknewiftheycrossedtheline,theirheadswould

beonthechoppingblocknext.Jeffreytookitabittoofar.ForthatIapologize.”

Whatanemptystatement.Carolineflexedhercrookedfingers,suckedinabreathsharpenoughtofeel

thenumbnessbelowherribcage.“Howchivalrousofyou.”

Hetookastepforward.“Ontheotherhand,ifhehadn’tbeensosingularlyfocusedonpersonal

vengeancewewouldn’tbeherenow,wouldwe?”

Indeedwewouldn’t.“I’llsendhimathankyoucard.I’msurehe’lllovegettingprisonmail.”

“Quiteplucky,aren’tyou?Youshouldbetakingthisabitmoreseriously.”

Shewatchedhimpathispocket.Maybeifshewasluckyhewouldliterallyshoothimselfinthefoot.

Wherethefuckwasherbackup?Hadsomethinghappened?She’dbeentoldtheirarrivalwouldbe

minutesafterherown.Herpalmsstartedtosweat.“Iamfullyawareofthegravityofmysituation.”

Hetookthegunoutagain.“Gettingeager,aren’twe?Ibetyou’retryingtofigureoutifIhaveany

otherweaponsinmydesk.Lookingtomakeamove?Maybecatchmeoffguard?Tryingtoplaythe

earnestheroineyetagain?Itwon’tworkthistime.”Santosraisedthegun,pointingitatherhead.“On

yourknees,”hesaid.

Herbackupwasn’tcoming.She’dbedeadinamatterofseconds.Butfuck,ifshewasgoingdown,it

wouldbewithalittledignity.“No,”shesaid.

Heshookhishead.“Ishouldhaveknown.Awomanwhodoesn’tknowherplace.Predictable.”

Maybeshecouldkeeparguingwithhim.Whatwastheworstthatcouldhappen?He’dshootherfor

refusingtoobey?Shewasasgoodasdeadanyway.“MyplaceiswhereverthehellIwantittobe.”

Hekepttheguntrainedonherhead.Itwasa.40caliber.SmithandWesson,maybe?Hewasonlya

fewfeetaway.Toofarawayforhertolungeathimandtooclosenottomissifandwhenhechosetofire.

Goddammit.

“Sadly,youdon’tgettomakethatdecisionanymore,”hesaid.“Yougaveupyourideologicaland

physicalsovereigntytheinstantyouturnedyourselfin.Tellme,whydidyoudoit?”

Sovereignty.Whataninterestingchoiceofterminology.AlmostMachiavellian.OrwasitHobbesian?

Shecouldn’tverywellbeexpectedtokeeptrackofherphilosopherswhenshewaswafflingbackand

forthonwhetherthesituationwarrantedalastditchefforttomakepeacewithherGod.“Whydoyou

think?”

“Turningthequestionaround,Isee.”Hewavedthegunagain.“GetonyourkneesandI’lltellyou.”

“It’snotverygallanttoaskaladytokneelinaskirt.”

Hereddened.Shewasgettingtohim.“Iseenolady,”hesaidquietly.

Howlonghadtheybeeninhisofficealone?Carolinewasrunningoutofoptions.Reluctantly,and

carefully,sinceshewascuffed,shedroppedtoherknees.

Theactiondrewavenomoussmile.“That’smorelikeit.”Santostookastepforward.“Ithinkwe’ve

talkedenough,don’tyou?”

“Youpromisedyou’dtellmewhyIgavemyselfup.”

Heglaredatherthroughthesightonthegun.“Onlyafoolwouldbelievesuchapromise.Ipityyou.

AboutasmuchasIpitythejanitorswhowillhavetocleanyourremainsoffthefloor.”

Inotherwords,notmuch.Buteverysecondhewastalkingwasanothersecondshewasstillalive.

“Besuretogetthemanicefruitbasket,”shesaid.

Thatgunwasstillpointedstraightatherhead.“Yourpatheticmartyrdomhasnolimit,doesit?Do

youthinkIdon’tknowhowterrifiedyouarerightnow?Yourcowardicewillbeyourdemise.Youcan’t

foolmewithyourfalseswagger.Itmighthavegottenyouthroughyourtimeinprisonbutitwon’thelpyou

ChapterTwenty-Seven

Aloudcrash.Thesmellofcordite.Ahailofgunfire.Abootinherback.Carolinefellforwardand

rolled,barelyavoidingyetanotherbrokennose.Howhadthathappenedsoquickly?Hadtimeslowedin

hermindthenspeduptheinstantSantosdischargedhisgun?Hewaslayinginfrontofher,riddledwith

bulletsandmostdefinitelydead.Carolinewhirledaround,eagertoseehersaviors.Shecaughtaglimpse

ofsilverhair.Akneerippedtoshreds.Shescrambledovertohim,herhandcuffsgratingintoherwrists.

Wordsfailedher.

Theyweren’tsupposedtobehere.Noneofthemwere.Butespeciallyhim.

GigwasfranticallyremovinghisbeltasJonesieandCrunchtriedtostaunchthebleeding.Her

friends.Tryingtohelp.Helphergoddamnhusband,whodespitetheabsenceoftraininghaddecidedto

playhero.

“Steven-”Shestopped.Didshesoundasferalasshethought?

“It’snotasbadasitlooks,”Gigsaid.

Yeah.Sure.Right.Herhusband’skneehadprettymuchbeenblownoffbuteverythingwassuper

awesome.JesustapdancingChrist.

Itwasmorethanjustthefourofthem.Therehadtobeatleastadozenmenintheroom,withmorein

thehallway.Hardlyanyofthemwerewearingrebeluniforms.Gigglancedaroundattheothersoldiersas

hefinallyfreedthebeltandstartedtotightenitaroundJack’sthigh.“Somebodygetthosecuffsoffher,”he

shouted.“Comeon.”

Jack’seyeswereclosed.Hischestwasheaving.Hadhebeenshotanywhereelse?

“He’swearingavest,”Crunchsaid,asifreadingherthoughts.

Someone–shewasn’tsurewho–cameupbehindherandunlockedhercuffs.Animpressivefeat,

consideringhowmuchshewasshaking.ShelurchedforwardandpattedJack’sface.Hiseyesfluttered

open.

“DidIgethim?”hewhispered.

Carolinedidn’twanttothinkaboutthebodyslumpedontheothersideoftheoffice.“Thatwasyou?”

“Ofcourseitwasme.”Hisvoicewasfading.“Areyouokay?”

HerhusbandwasbleedingoutontheflooroftheOvalOffice.Yeah,shewasfineandfuckingdandy.

“Iwasn’thit,”shesaid.“ButsomebodykickedmeinthebacksoI’minalittlepain.”

“Thatwasme.DidIgethim?”Jackrepeated.

Ofallthethingstofocusonnow.Therehadbeensomanygunshotstherewasnowaytoknow.But

shecouldgivehimtheanswerheneeded.“Youdid,”Carolinesaid.“Youfinallyhitatargetthatcounted.”

“Good.”JackgroanedasGigtightenedthebeltaroundhisleg.“Begentle,youasshole.”

“He’stryingtostopthebleeding,”Carolinesaid.Andsaveyourlife.

Hegroanedagain.“Goodluckwiththat.”

“You’regoingtobefine,”shewhispered.

Timeslowedandspedupagain.Shefeltdizzy.Bloodpooledunderherhusband’slegs.Hisfacewas

turninggray.Nowwasnotthetimetolosecontrol,whichwasprobablywhyshewaspanickyashell.

Goddammit,thiswasnothowitwassupposedtobe.Carolinewasmeanttobackherwayinto

dangerbutsomehowcomeoutahead.Towalkawayfromtherubblewithoutascratch.Thatwastheplan.

Thatwashowitwassupposedtowork.Nooneelsewassupposedtogethurt.

Hadn’tshesufferedenough?She’dlostonehusband.Shethoughtshe’dlosttwo.Hadshegotten

complacentagain,takenhimforgranted?Trustedhimtobelessimpetuousthanher?Sheshouldhave

known.Shouldhaverealizedhewouldbethefirsttovolunteer,toputhimselfatgreatestriskdespitehis

lackofexperience.

Shehadtokeepittogether.Forhissake.“You’regoingtobefine,”sherepeated.

Jackreachedforherhand.“Itoldyounevertokneelforanyone,”hesaidweakly.“Youlistenlikea

fuckingbrick.”

Shewastornbetweenthrottlinghimandburstingintotears.“Whydidyoucomehere?”she

whispered.

“Ipromisedyoubackup,remember?”

“Youshouldn’t–Icanseethat.”

JackclenchedherhandtighterasGigcontinuedtotwistthebeltaroundhisupperthigh.“JesusChrist,

woman,younevertoldmehowmuchitfuckinghurttogetshot.”

“Stoptalking,”shesaid.

“ThatgoddamnbastardshotmeinthekneewhenIpushedyououtoftheway.”

Becausehewasaimingformyhead.Carolineleanedincloser.Sheneededhimtoshutup.“Ilove

you,”shewhispered.“Butyoureallyshouldstoptalking.”

“Ihavetoomuchtotellyou.”Hereachedforhisshirtpocket,pullingoutthenoteshe’dwrittenhim

thatmorning.“Holdontothatforme.Iwantitback.”

Shetookitfromhishand.Ithadabloodyfingerprintonit.Shehastilyshoveditintoheruniform

jacket.CarolineglancedatGig,whowasconcentratingonthetourniquet.Itclearlywasn’tworking.

“Isanambulancecoming?”shewhispered.

“Soon,”hesaid.“Ipromise.TheCommanderisgoingtobefine.”GigpointedatCrunch.“Checkon

thattransport.”

Jackclosedhiseyes,andCarolinepressedherlipstohisear.“Don’tleaveme.Notafterallthis.”

“HowcanIleave?”hemumbled.“Myknee’samess.”

“Stopjoking.Please.”

“It’stheonlywayIcangetyoutolikeme.”

Shekissedhisforehead.“Theambulancewillbeheresoon.Andthenyou’llhavetobequiet.Justlet

metalk.”

“Youdidgood,sweetheart.Realgood.”

Shedidn’tcareaboutwhatshe’ddone.Whatshewouldhavebeenwillingtodo.Shekissedhis

foreheadagain,tearsdrippingintohishair.“We’renotdoneyet,Jack.Wehavethingsweneedtodo.”

“You’llbeokay,”hesaid,hischestheaving.

Oh,fuckno.Hewasnotgoingoutlikethat.They’dearnedtheireverafter.Theydeservedtogrow

oldtogether,tonurseeachother’swounds,tohootwithgravellyvoicesandpeerattheirgrandchildren

throughcrinkledeyesastheytotteredontotheirlaps.“You’regoingtobefine,”shesaid.Howmanytimes

wouldshehavetosayitforittobetrue?Shewasterrifiedshewasabouttobreakdowncompletely.

“Iloveyou,sweetCaroline,”Jackwhispered.“Youdidrealgood,baby.”Hisheadlolledtotheside.

No.

“It’sallright,”Gigsaid,squeezingherupperarm.“Hejustpassedout.Pulseisstrong.He’sgonna

makeit.”

Washebeingstraightwithher?Everythinggelledtogether–thevoicesoftheothersoldiers,thehand

Jonesieplacedonherback,thecommotionthattookplacewhentheEMTswheeledastretcherpiledwith

medicalsuppliesintotheroom.

CarolinelookedatGig.“Canwetrustthem?”

Hegesturedtowardtheothersoldiers.“Ifnot,Isuspectwe’llhaveadamngoodbackupplan.Come

on.”Heextendedhishand.“Staywithmewhilethesepeopledotheirstuff.”

Sheacceptedthehugshewasoffered,unashamedofhertears.Shehadnocowardice,onlyhonor.

Andafiercepride.Inherself,inherfamily,inherfriends.

Inherhusband.

Surelyshecouldfindsomewaytogetthrough.Jackwouldn’tquitonher.She’dbedamnedifshe

wouldquitonhim.

Carolinerestedherheadagainstthewall,countingthebuttonsonheruniformjacket.Unbuttoning

them.Rebuttoningthem.Startingfromthebottom,orinthemiddle,orinapattern.Up,down,up,down.

Whenshegotboredwiththatshe’dmovetoherberet.Straighteningit.Tighteningit.Adjustingit.She

ignoredthebloodonherhands,twirlingheranniversarybandassheclutchedtheberetinherfist.

Atleasthalfadozenpeoplehadofferedhercoffee,andshehadalwaysrefused.Shesureashell

wasn’tgoingtodrinkit.Gigandtheotherskepttheirdistance,speakingquietlyinthecornerwiththe

CanadianSpecialForces.Theydidn’tknowwhattosay,ormaybetheyknewshewantedtobealone.

Jack,Jones,Crunch,andGighadbeenherprimarybackup,butthey’dbeenjoinedbytroopsfrom

Canada,theUnitedKingdom,andMexico,aswellasadecentnumberofU.N.Peacekeepers.The

Peacekeeperswereintheprocessofrestoringorder–takingsuspectedcollaboratorsintocustody,

policingthestreets,questioningstraystaffersandmilitarypersonnel.Moretroopswouldarrivebythe

hourtoensureasseamlessatransitionofpoweraspossible.Shedidn’tknowmuchelsebeyondthat.

Shewantedtosleep.Forever.Butthatwouldn’thappenuntilshefoundoutwhatconditionJackwas

in.Ithadbeenhourswithnoword.Ithadtobelatenightorearlymorning.Shefeltagentlehandonher

shoulderandlookedup.

“Hey,Punky.”Christinewasgivingherashakysmile.Carolinetriedtoreturnitandfailed,and

Christinequicklysatdownnexttoher,pullingherintoherarms.“He’sgoingtobefine,”shewhispered.

Carolineletoutasmallsob.“Therewassomuchblood,Chrissy.Ididn’tknowwhattodo.Hekept

tryingtotalktomeandhewouldn’tshutup,andthenhepassedout.TheEMTscouldn’tstopthebleeding

andthingsgotworseonthewaytothehospitalandIhaven’theardanythingand-”

“Stop.”Christinekissedhertemple.“I’mtellingyou,he’sgoingtobefine.”

“IstheresomethingyouknowthatIdon’t?”

Christine’seyeswerebright.“No,”shesaid.“ButJackMcIntyreisnotgoingtoleaveyouwithout

goodreason.ThatmanwouldfightallofthearchangelsandGodhimselftogetbacktoyou.He’snot

goingquietlyintothatgoodnight.”

“Hiskneeisalltornup,”Carolinesaid.“DoIwanttoknowwhatthatmeans?”

ChristinestartedrubbingCaroline’sback.“Idon’tthinkyouneedtospeculateatthispoint.”

Carolinegulpedbackanotherwaveofpanic.“Imean,couldhelose-”

“Letmerephrase.Idonotthinkitishealthyforeitherofustospeculateatthispoint.”

Messagereceived.Christine’scustomarylecturingtonewascoldcomfort.Carolinerubbedhereyes,

realitydawningonher.“Um,whatareyoudoinghere?”

“Iwaswonderinghowlongitwouldtakeyoutofigurethatout.”

She’dhadaroughday.Surelyherlapsecouldbeexcused.“Icouldhaveswornallofyoutoldmeyou

werestayinghome.”

“Ah,yes.Theclassiclieofomission.Ifyourecall,youneverspecificallyaskeduswhatourplans

were.YoujustassumedwewouldhangbackinCalifornia.”

“That’ssneaky.”

“IassureyouIdidnotmakethedecisionlightly.”

Carolineblinked.“YoucameherewithJack,didn’tyou?”

“Yes.Iknewhewaspartofthebackupteamsincetheverybeginning.Wethoughtyou’dfocusbetter

ifyouthoughtallofuswerebackinCalifornia.”

Whichwasprobablytrue.“Wherearethegirls?Aretheyheretoo?”

Christinekeptrubbingherback.“They’refine.They’resomeplacesafe,justoutsidethecity.Don’t

worry.They’reunderheavymilitaryguard.”

Carolinelookedupatthesoldierssurroundingthem.“Arewesafe?”shewhispered.“Theymade

everyoneturnovertheirweaponswhenwegothere.”

“Ifanyonegivesusahardtime,thereareafewbattalionsofPeacekeepersoutsidetotellthemwhat’s

what.”

Carolinehadbeensofixatedontheplanthatshehadn’tthoughtaboutthedetailsthathadn’tbeen

discussed.“Thegirlsknewtoo,”shesaid.“That’swhythey’vebeensocalmlately.Whytheywereso

chipperthismorning.”

Christinewasactuallystartingtolookembarrassed.“Yes.”

“Well,”Carolinesaid.“Aren’tyouallabunchofassholes.”Shelookedaround.“Aretheremore

Peacekeepersinherethantherewereaminuteago?”

Christineslippedhersuitjacketoff.Alwaysimpeccablydressed,eveninthemidstofagovernmental

collapse.“They,uh,mademeinterimCommanderinChief.”

Carolinecrossedherarms.“Becauseofcoursetheydid.”

Christinelaughed.“Don’tmakeitsoundlikethat.Thereweren’talotofoptions.Noonewantedto

seeamilitarytakeover,eveniftemporary.Martiallawisenoughfornow,andI’mhopingIcanendthat

soon.”

Holyshit,ChristineSullivanwasincharge.“AretheseU.N.guysgoingtotacklemeifIsmackyou?”

“Theytaketheirdutiesquiteseriously.Iwouldn’tchanceit.”

“Yougotlucky,”Carolinesaid.“How’dthishappen?”

“Themilitaryleadersofourlittleoperation.Theoneswhoweren’tyouandJack.”

Herheadswam.Wasthisconversationreallyhappening?“Justtoconfirm-you’rethePresidentof

theUnitedStates?”

“Untilwecanholdformalelections.”

Carolinepulledbackalittle.“SinceI’mnotallowedtosmackyou,amIsupposedtosaluteyou?Iam

inuniform.”

Christinepulledhercloser.“No,”shewhispered.“You’resupposedtokeepmehumble.”

“Isyourappointmentevenlegal?Whomadethatdecision?”

“Well,technicallyyoudidpulloffacoup.”

“Technicallyweweren’tAmericansoldiersatthetime.”

“Youdon’tneedtosplitsemantichairs,Caroline.Anyway,itdoesn’tmatter.Militaryofficialsmade

thedecision,andIsignedanexecutiveorderindicatingIwasnottoremaininofficelongerthanittookto

setupelections.Ifallgoesasplanned,we’llhavetheelectioninNovemberandtheswearing-inin

January,andeverythingwillrevertbacktonormal.”

Arelativeterm,nodoubt.ButCarolineknewwhatshemeant.“Howlonghaveyoubeenpresident?”

“Aboutthreehours.”

WhichwasprobablyaboutaslongasCarolinehadbeensittinginthehospital.“Andhowmany

executiveordershaveyousigned?”

“Aboutten.MostlytoundoSantos’damage.”

“Jesus.Howthehelldidyoupullthatoff?”

Christine’slipstwitched.“I’mveryefficient.”

“Ithoughtyoubelievedmostexecutiveorderswereoverreach.”

“Istillbelievethat.Rightnow,overreachissorelyneeded.”

“Sinceyou’rewieldingthatpensojudiciously,yougonnaissueanyexecutiveordersconcerning

me?”

“Ijustmight,”Christinesaid.“‘CarolineJoanGerardisnolongerallowedtodostupidshit.’”

IfChristinewastryingtokeephercalm,shewasdoingagreatjob.“Thatlanguageisvagueand

overbroadandthatorderisprobablyunenforceable.Andit’snotladyliketocurse.”

Christinesigheddramatically.“Youlawyerssuckthefunoutofeverything.”

“Getusedtoit.Youmayhavetodealwithmoreoftheminthenearfuture.”

“Yes,”shesaid.“Iknow.ItalkedtoRogerearlier.HeandBrianarecomingbackassoonasthey

can.Bothofthemmayrun.”

“They’dbegoodcandidates,”Carolinesaid.“Thatmatchupwouldbeacleancampaign,whichI

thinkweneed.”SheleanedintoChristine’sshoulder.“Thisfeelsweird.”

“Itmightforawhile.Mightnotfeellikehomeforawhile,either.”

Agoodpoint.Washingtonmightneverfeellikehomeagain,butitwasbetterthanbeingapatriot

withoutacountry.“Istillcan’tbelieveyou’rehere,”Carolinesaidsoftly.

Christineletoutanexasperatedbreath.“Honestly,Punky.Ican’tbelieveyouthoughtwewouldn’t

comeafteryou.”

Ithadoccurredtoherbutshe’dbrusheditaside,tooconsumedwithworriesaboutwhetherornot

infiltratingtheWhiteHousewouldsucceed.“Iwasn’tsure.”

“Jackwasalwaysgoingtoberightbehindyou.Always.Buthestartedmovingahellofalotfaster

oncehereadwhateveryouwrotehiminthatlittlenote.”

“Isee.”

“Whateverdiditsay?”

Carolineblushed.Shecertainlydidn’twantChristinetoreliveanybadmemories.Especiallythe

onesshe’dtriedtoputbehindheraftermakingherpeacewithJack.“It’snotallthatimportant.”

Christinepulledherintoanotherfiercehug.“I’mgladthebothofyoumadeit.Sovery,veryglad.”

Wehaven’tmadeityet.Carolinelookedatthebloodunderherfingernails.Shehadn’treallythought

aboutanyotherdamagethatmighthavebeencaused.“Imustlookamesstoyou.”

“Icangetyouachangeofclothes.Thisisallalittletoofamiliar.”

Christinewastryingtoavoiddredgingupthepast,especiallyonadaythathadsomanyemotional

unknowns.“Oh,Chrissy.Ididn’teventhink-”

“Don’tworryaboutit.Istillthinkyoushouldchange.Maybesneakashower.”

Sheresistedtheurgetosniffherself.“AmIstinky?”

“Kindof.”

Sheshivered.“Todayhasbeenrough.”

“Areyoucold?”

“Alittle.”

ChristinecoveredCarolineupwithherjacket.“Howareyouholdingupasidefrom…this?”

“Everythingiskindofblurry.”

“Isthatagoodthing,orabadthing?”

Carolineleanedinforanotherhug.Maybeshe’dstaythereuntiladoctorshowedup.“Idon’teven

know.”

“YouandJackaregoingtogetsomesortofcommendation.Youdon’tgettoescapethat.”

“Don’tIhaveenoughprettytrophiesandawards?”

“Neverenoughforyou,”Christinesaidsoftly.“Butit’soneofmypriorities.I’vegottogetupto

speed,getaspacetoworkoutof.”Shefrowned.“YourrescuesquadmadequiteamessoutoftheWhite

House,theOvalOfficeinparticular.”

“Itwasn’tjustus,”Carolinesaid.“FromwhatIunderstand,theCanadianSpecialForceshadafew

A-Teammoments.”

“IsupposeIshouldbehappythatIgotthatreference.”

Carolinerubbedhereyes.“JackkilledSantos,”shesaidsoftly.“Or,I’mgoingtolethimthinkhedid.

HeshotJack,andJackreturnedthefavor.”

“Hedidwhathehadtodo.”

“Isitrighttolethimthinkhekilledaman?Orhelpedto?”

“Foraverygoodreason.”

Shethoughtaboutthatlifelessbodyonthefloor.Anynumberofbulletholescouldhavebeenthekill

shot.WasitbettertoconvinceJackhewasinnocent?“Webothwantedhimdead.”

“YourhusbandknewtheriskswhenheledthatunitintotheWhiteHouse.Hewasarmedforareason,

readytodowhatneededtobedone.Forjustice,notvengeance.Nooneisgoingtosayitwasunjustified.”

“Iknow.”

“Areyouafraidthisisgoingtobethethingthatfinallysendsyoubothoffthementalcliff?”

Carolinelaughedsoftly.“No.Atleast,Ihopenot.”

“You’vedonesomuch,Caroline.Gonethroughsomuch.It’satestamenttoyourcharacterthatyou

haven’tletyourselfsinkintoapermanentlyviolentmentality.Frankly,I’mimpressedyouweren’ttheone

whothreatenedtokillMurdock.”

Carolineshudderedatthememory.SometimesChristine’spenchantforbrutalhonestymadeher

extremelyuncomfortable.

“It’sokay,”Christinesaid.“Imighthavedoneittoo.”

“Youdidkickhimintheballs.”

“Nocomment.Onacompletelyunrelatednote,Itriedtogetthemtomakeyoupresident.OrJack.”

Whataconversationthatmusthavebeen.“Oh,youdidnot.”

“Idid.ThenIrealizedneitherofyouwouldwantit.IfI’mwrong,youcanalwaysruninNovemberif

youwish.”

“Idon’twanttobepresident,”Carolinesaid.“IdoubtJackdoeseither.”

“Oddlyenough,neitherdoI.”

“Iassumethat’swhytheypickedyou.”

“Probably.”

“I’mnotintheproperstateofmindtoberunninganentirecountry.I’mnotevensureI’mcapableof

operatingadishwasher.”

Christinehuggedhercloser.“Stopbeingsoself-deprecating.You’remorestablethanyouthink.”

“Soareyou.You’llbegoodatthis,Chrissy.”

“Idon’tknowwhatI’mdoing.”

“Therearepeoplewhowillhelpyou.Hell,youcan’tdoworsethanwhat’sbeengoingonforthepast

twoyears.”

“Whatavoteofconfidence.”

“Mybestfriendtaughtmetobehonestwithher.”

Christinestartedtosaysomething,thenturnedandlookeddownthehall.Amaninscrubswas

walkingtowardthem.CarolinestiffenedasChristinetightenedherarmaroundhershoulder.

“I’mDr.West,”themansaid.“AreyouMrs.McIntyre?”

Carolinedidn’tbothercorrectinghim,sinceshedidn’twantto.Shestoodupshakily,handing

Christine’sjacketbacktoher.“Isheokay?”

ThedoctorlookedatChristine.“Andthisis?”

“Thepresident,”Carolinesaidinstantly.Shealmostenjoyedthefactthatheapparentlyhadnoclue

whohewasspeakingwith.

“Oh,”hesaid.“GuessI’vemissedafewthings.Sorry,ma’am.”

“Iforgiveyou,”Christinesaid.“Youwereinsurgery.”

“Maybeyoudon’tneedmetokeepyouhumble.”CarolinesmiledatChristine,soberingonceshe

broughthergazebacktothedoctor.

“Tellusaboutherhusband’scondition,”Christinesaid.

Thedoctorrubbedhiseyes.BasedonhowlongCarolinehadbeenatthehospital,he’dlikelybeenin

theoperatingroomforalmostfourhours.“He’slostalotofblood.Buthemadeitthroughjustfine.”

Fine.Whatdidthatreallymean?Carolinesankontothebenchanddidn’tsayanything.

“How’shisknee?”Christineasked.

“Itwasprettytornup.Iwasn’tsurewe’dbeabletosavetheleg.Wewon’tknowthelongterm

damageuntilwestartphysicaltherapy.He’sinacastfornow,butwillneedextensivetreatment.”West

lookedCarolineintheeyes.“Hemayhavealimp,butthere’saverygoodchancehe’llwalkagain.”

Carolinestaredathim.“There’sachancehewon’twalkagain?”

“Ithinktheoddsareinhisfavor.”

Christinesatdownnexttoher.“He’sgoingtobeokay,Caroline.Focusonthedetailslater.”

“Iwill.Ijustneedtoknowwhattotellhim.”Shehadtoberesilient.Jackdeservednothingless.

“CanIseehim?”

Westgestureddownthehall.“I’llwalkyoutohisroom.”

ChristinekissedCaroline’scheek.“I’llseetoyourchildren.”

“But-”

“Youdon’tneedmerightnow.We’llcomebacktomorrow.Yourhusbandistough.He’llberunning

marathonsbythistimenextyear.”

Carolinehuggedher.“Thankyouforbeinghere.Kissthegirlsforme.”

Christinemotionedtohersecuritystaff.“I’llcheckinlatertonight.”

Watchingallthosesoldiersescortheroutofthehospitalwasamusing.Forthefirsttimeallday,

Carolinesmiledagenuinesmile.“Surething,MadamPresident.”

Thedoctordidn’tsaymuchasheledherdownthehall.Buthehadasoothingdemeanorandtoldher

ifsheneededanythingtoletthenurseknow.Maybetherewerekindpeopleleftintheworld.Maybe

Santoshadn’tdestroyedallofAmerica’sgoodwill.

Carolineshutthedoorbehindher.Shedefinitelydidn’twantanyoneelseintheroomunlessshe

expresslyaskedforthemtobethere.Jack’slegwasinanelevatedsling,heavilybandaged.She

swallowedbacktears,tryingnottothinkaboutwhatthedoctorhadtoldher.Herhusbanddidn’tneedany

negativity.

Shepulledachairupnexttothebedandwassuddenlyacutelyawareofhowoldhewas,howclose

shehadcometolosingitall.Carolinetookhishandinbothofhers,studyingeveryinchofhim.How

manytimeshadhebeeninthissamepositionbecauseofherstubbornness,herflagrantlyimpulsive

actions,herzealousyearningtodowhatshethoughtwastherightthing?He’dgottenthroughallthose

trials;surelyshecouldmanageitonce.

Carolinestrokedhisforeheadgentlyandyawned.Itwouldbeawhilebeforehewokeup.Sherested

herheadonhischest.Hewouldn’tmindifsheclosedhereyesforaminute.He’dsureashelllether

knowtheinstanthewasawake.

Shefeltahandstrokingherhairbeforesheknewit,andliftedherheadup.Jackwasgivinghera

tiredsmile.

“Hey,baby,”hecroaked.

“Hi.”Carolinerubbedhereyes.“Thatwasquick.Youbarelyletmesleepatall.”

Jacktriedtositupandtheslingshifted.Hewinced.“Whatthefuckhappened?”

“Don’tyouremember?”

“SomethingprettyseriousmusthavegonedownintheWestWing.”

“Yeah,”Carolinesaidquietly.“Thatwasniceofyoutoshowupwithouttellingme.”

Jacksqueezedherhand.“Elementofsurpriseforeveryone.Includingyou.”

“Santoswasabouttokillme,”Carolinesaid.“Youstoppedhim.”

Heclosedhiseyes.“Ithoughtweweren’tgoingtogetthereintime.Youmusthavedoneahellofa

jobtokeephimdistracted.”

“Ididmybest.”

“Yousurefuckingdid.I’msoproudofyou,sweetheart.”

“I’mnottheonewhodeservespraise.You’retheonewhofinallylearnedhowtoshoot.”

“Hedeservedit.”

Hesureashellhad.Shehopedwhereverhewas,itwasquitewarm.Themyriadwaysthatsituation

couldhaveendedalmostsentherintoapanicspiral.“Youcouldhave-”Carolinestoppedtocollect

herself.“Yousacrificedyourselftokeepmefrombeingshot.”

Jackcaressedhercheek.“Pureinstinct.You’reworthit.”Hepointedatthesling.“Howbadisit?”

Christ,thiswashard.“Yourkneeisreallyfuckedup,”shewhispered.“Theyalmost–theythought

theyweregoingtohavetotakeyourleg.”

“Itappearstostillbeattached,”heobserved.

Goodthingsomeonefounditfunny.“Doesithurt?”

“Like.A.Motherfucker.”

He’dneedsomepainkillers,maybesomewater.Andsomefood.Butshewasn’tquitereadytopress

thatcallbutton.“You’regoingto–you’llprobablyneedacane,ifyou’reabletowalkagain,”Caroline

said,andpulledherchairbackslightly.“I’msorry,Jack.”

“Don’tapologize.Weheldtheguiltypartyaccountable.Santospaidforhiscrimes.”

Itseemedwrongtorevelinanotherperson’sdeath,butshewasn’ttoobrokenupaboutthemanwho

triedtodestroyeverythingshebelievedin.“Youmadesureofthat,youdangerousbastard.”

Jackshiftedagain,groaning.“I’llbefine,sweetheart.Don’tworryaboutit.”

Maybehedidneedanurse.“Ishouldgetsomeonetocheckonyou.”

“No,”hesaidquietly.“Iwantthesefewminuteswithyoubeforeitgetshectic.”

She’dmuchratherhavesomeoneelseintheroomtokeepherfromfallingapart.“Okay.”

“Where’smynote?Youdamnwellbetterhavesavedit.”

Carolinehadbeentryingnottothinkaboutthebloodyfingerprint.Aboutthefoldednoteinherjacket.

“Idid.”

“Iwantitback.”

Shepulleditout.“Here.”

“Readittome.”

Straightoutofsurgeryandalreadybeingagoof.“Areyouflirtingwithyourwife?”

“Iwantyoutosayitoutloud.”

Carolinecouldhumorhim.Hewasinpain,andthenoteclearlyheldsomemeaning.Sheunfoldedit.

“Youwerealwaysgoodenough,”sheread,hervoicesoft.

“Putthatwithmystuff,”Jacksaid.“Idon’teverwanttoloseit.”

“Chrissysaidyoustartedmovingtwiceasfastonceyoureadit.”

“Asyouknow,Iamahopelessromantic.”

“Myheartfeltwordsoflovemotivatedyou?”

Hekissedthebackofherhand.“Yourexistencemotivatedme.Thenotewasaniceboost.”

Evencomingoutofheavysedation,hewasdoingeverythingright.Sheblinkedbacktears.

Jacktippedherchinup.“What’swrong?”

“Ican’t-”Sheshouldn’tbedoingthis.Shewasobligatedtokeepittogether.Butitwassofucking

hard.

“It’sokaytocry,baby.”

Carolinebitherlip.“Notwhenyou’retheonewho’ssuffering.”

“Ifyouweren’tcrying,I’dbealittleconcerned.”

Heseemedcalm.Serene.Almosthappy.Exhaustedandhurting,butoddlyplacid.“Isthisenough

now?”sheasked.

“Whatdoyoumean?”

“Canyoufinallyletgoofyourguilt?”

“I-”

“Yousavedmylife,”shewhispered.“Ithinkwe’reeven.Youdon’tneedtofeellikeyouoweme

anymore.”

“IsthatwhatyouthinkI’vebeendoing?”

“Idon’tknow.Butyou’vehadthiscloudhangingoveryou,eversince-”

“Don’t,”hesaidfirmly.

Hedidn’twanttohavethisconversation.Shewasn’tsureifhewastryingtoprotecther,orhimself.

“Youalmostdied,Jack.Forme.YouwerelayingonthatfloorbleedingoutandallIcouldthinkwas–did

hedothistoprovesomethingtome?”

“IdiditbecauseIloveyou,”hesaidroughly.“It’smyresponsibilitytoprotectyou.”Heshookhis

head.“Butit’ssomuchmorethanthat.”

“Canyoufinallyforgiveyourself?”

Jackbroughthishandtohercheekagain.“That’snotit,sweetheart.Iwillalwaysdoeverythinginmy

powertokeepyousafe.IfI’ddiedprotectingyou,Iwouldn’thaveregretteditforamoment.”

Butshesureashellwould.“Iwouldhavebeenalone.Iwouldn’thavehadyou.”

“Butyou’dbealive,”hesaid.“Itwouldhavekilledmetoknowyouweresuffering.Caroline,don’t

everthinkyoudon’tdeservethatkindofdevotion.Thatamountoflove.Becauseyoudo.AndnowI

understandwhyyouactthewayyoudosometimes.”

“Idon’tknowanybetter,”shemumbled.

Jacktuckedherhairbehindherear.“It’smorethanthat.”

“Ineverblamedyou.”

“Iknowyoudidn’t.Iblamedmyself.AndIwillnever,everblameyouformyowndecisions.

Understand?”

“Okay.”Shepaused.“Whenyou’redischargedI’dliketogotoPhiladelphia,ifthat’sokay.”

“Really?”

“That’sourhome.”

“Marylandisyourhometoo.”

True.Butshewasn’tsureifshewantedtobequitethatclosetotheaction.Especiallywhenher

husbandwasrecoveringfromaseriousinjury.“Wecanliveinthedistrictatfirst.ButIthinkI’drather

stayawayfromallofthat.Chrissy’sinchargeuntiltheyfigureoutelections.”

Tohersurprise,Jacklookedsincerelypleased.“Good.”

“Youdidn’twantthemtopickyou?”

“Absolutelynot.Iwanttoliveaquietlife.”

“Permanently?”

“Ifpossible.Anice,quietexistencewithyoubymyside.”

Carolineglancedathiskneewithconcern.“Youmighthaveafewbridgestocrossfirst.”

Jacksqueezedherhand.“Doesn’tmatter,aslongasyou’rewithme.”

ChapterTwenty-Eight

“Ilikewhatyou’vedonewiththeplace,”Carolinesaid.“TheWhiteHousehasadecidedly

democraticfeeltoit.”

“I’mnotswitchingparties,”Christinesaid.

“Imeantpurelyinthenon-totalitariansense.”

“No,shemeantitthewayyoutookit,”Jacksaid.“Whichmeansshe’sconvincedRogerwillwin.”

“Ofcoursehewill,”Carolinesaid.“WehaveafewmonthsuntilNovemberbuthe’llgetitdone.

AlthoughBrianwouldbejustascapable.”

“Youdaretoarguewiththepresident?”Christineasked.“I’mescortingyoutoyourownawards

ceremony.Howmanyheadsofstatedothat?”

Carolinemadeaface.“You’redrunkwithpower.Imayneedtostartanotherrevolution.”

“Mom,”Margueritesaid.“Nowyou’rebeingsilly.”

“No,she’sbeingherself,”Christinesaid.“Andit’sdivinetosee.”

“When’sSusannahmovingback?”Carolineasked.

“She’sstillpackingup,findingdaycare,thatsortofthing.”Christinesmiled.“Ican’twaitforherto

bebackinPhiladelphiawhereshebelongs.”

“Apromotiontopartnerisnothingtosniffat.Gladshe’scominghome.”

“I’meagertogethomemyself.”

Washingtonwasn’thome,foranyofthem.ButCarolinestillsuspectedthatSusannah,Jacob,andher

childrenwouldbehangingoutattheWhiteHousewhiletheycould.

“WhendoIgettospendthenightintheLincolnBedroom?”Sophieasked.“Imean,wemayaswell

exploitthiswhilewecan.”

“Ihearthepresidentcanbebribed,”Carolinesaid.

“Notlikely.”ChristinewaitedwhileMargueriteopenedthedoortotheGreenRoom.“Jack,Ihope

younoticedhowaccessibletheWhiteHouseis.”

Hehadn’tsaidawordasthePresidentoftheUnitedStateswheeledhimdownthehall.“I’mjumping

forjoy.”

Shespontaneouslykissedhischeek,settingthebrake.“I’llleaveyouhere.Ourotheraward

recipientsshouldbearrivingshortly.Trynottosettheroomonfire.”

“Anypress?”Carolineasked.

“Ofcourse.Wewouldn’twanttodepriveyouofaphoto-op.They’reassemblingintheEastRoom.I

wantedtogiveyoualittleprivacyfirst.”

Margueritethrewanarmaroundhersister.“You’llbeluckytogetmomtosmile.Comeon,Soph.

Let’scheckthisplaceout.”

Patriotismcouldfade.Couldmanifestindifferentways,takeahitwhenitwasneededthemost.It

wasnicetoseethatmagicalgiddinessreappearinherchildren.They’dbeentotheWhiteHousebefore

butitstillseemedfreshandnewtothem.Shehopedthey’dneverlosethatidealism,especiallywhenthey

hadgoodreasontoletitgo.

“Youhavefoundawaytokeepmychildrenentertained.Congratulations.Goprepareforyourbig

speech.Trynottobetoosappy.”CarolinelaughedasChristinespunaroundandwalkedaway.“Ithinkthe

CommanderinChiefjuststuckhertongueoutatme.She’slostmyvote.”

“She’snotrunning,sweetheart.”

“That’shardlythepoint.”Carolinecrouchednexttohischair,doublecheckingthebrake.Shedidit

everytimetheywentanywhere.ItdroveJackcrazy.

“Christinealreadysetit,”hesaid.“Youdon’ttrusther?”

“She’snotusedtodoingit.Idon’twantyoutobeabletorollawaywithoutme.”

Humor.Thatwashowtheydealtwitheverythinglately.Itwasfarbetterthanthebadfeelingsthey’d

fosteredduringtheirfirstawkwardmomentstogetherinCalifornia.AndJackneededhumor.He’dspenta

coupleofweeksinthehospitalandwasn’tthrilledwhentheymovedintohisGeorgetownbrownstoneand

discoveredhowmanystairsithad.Somanythingsthey’dneverconsidereduntiltheybecameissues.

Theplacewasstillindecentcondition,andsheandJackmadedowiththefirstfloorguestbedroom.

Theylefttheupstairstothegirls.Itwasgoodenoughuntiltheyfiguredouttheirnextstep.Almostallof

theirpossessionsinthePennsylvania’sGovernor’sMansionhadbeendestroyedbyJack’ssuccessor.But

nomatter.Theywereonlythings.JackandCarolinereservedallsentimentalityfortheirrealhomes.They

stillhadn’tcheckedontheirhousesinRockvilleandPhiladelphia.Toomuchtohandleemotionally.

Maybewhentheirplatewaslessfull.

Carolinewasgoingtofocusonthepositive.Shewasseeingherfriends.Shewasspendingtimewith

herbestie.ChristinehadencouragedthemtostayintheWhiteHousewithherbutCarolinedidn’twant

thatamountofattention.Thesummerwouldendsoonandcampaignseasonwouldkickintohighgear.

ChristinewasstilltryingtoundoallthedamageSantoshaddoneandhadtightsecurityatalltimes.

AfterSantos’death,therewasnoneedtokeeptheICCindictmentsunderwraps.Theywereunsealed

andreleasedtothepublic,butnotuntilCarolinehadtheopportunitytoexplaintheircontentstoher

children.Thankfully,ithadn’tchangedtheirbehaviortowardher.Ifanything,she’dnoticedanincreasein

affectionandkindwords.

PresidentSullivanhadagenerallyopendoorforthepress,buttheyhadtoprovethemselvesagain.

Sheneverdeclinedanycredentialsbutthosewhohadturnedablindeyeornormalizedtheactionsofthe

SantosAdministrationgarneredacloserlook.Chrissywassmart.Sheknewwhototrust.Thepeoplewho

hadremainedoutspoken,whohaddonesoatriskoflivelihoodandlife,weregivenafrontrowseatatall

herpressconferences.Shewasridiculouslytransparentinallherdealings,whichhadgonealongwayin

repairingtherelationshipbetweenthemedia,thecitizenry,andpublicservants.Yes,Carolinewas

fiercelyproudofherpresident.Thekindofworldleaderwhowouldwheelaninjuredherodownthe

hallsoftheWhiteHousewhentherewereplentyofotherpeoplearoundtodoit.

“Howareyoufeeling?”sheaskedJack.

“I’dfeelmuchbetterifyouweregrindingagainstme.”

“Jack,really.Whataboutthegirls?”

Hecuppedherchininhispalm.“YouthinkIcareanymore?”

Eh,they’dprobablyjustignoreit.“Willithurtyourleg?”

“I’lldealwithit,”hesaid,smilingassheslidontohislap.Shewasabouttoadjustherselfandlean

inforakisswhensheheardafamiliarvoicebehindher.

“Noneofthat,Princess.Wedon’twanttowatchyoutwogettingbusyonsuchanimportantoccasion.”

Oh,thatlostmomentwouldberegainedoncetheygothome.MaybeCarolinecouldconvincethegirls

togooutforaverylongdinner.ShegrabbedJonesinahugehug.“Hi.”

Margueritestrodeover.“ThankGod.Yousavedmyeyes.”

HereachedintogiveherandSophiehugs,beforeshakingJack’shand.“Sir,”hesaid.“Howyou

feeling?”

“Gettingthere.”

Honesttoafault,herhusband.“Wherearetheguys?”sheasked.

Jonesreleasedherandsteppedback.“Crunchisparkingthecar.Hardtofindaspaceclosetothe

WhiteHouse,youknow.”

Carolineslappedhimonthearm.“Seriously.Wherearethey?”

“Gighadtotakeapiss,”Crunchsaid,comingupbehindher.“Didn’twanttobesteppingbackand

forthonhislumberingfeetwhilethepresidentsaidsweetthingsabouthim.”Hekissedheronthecheek.

“Youlookgood.”

Acomplimentthattodayofalldaysshewouldtakeinstride.“Thanks.”

Jackhelduphishand.“Ah,hereareMr.GigowskiandDr.Haddad,bringinguptherear.”He

acceptedthehugNatalieoffered.“How’dyougetstuckwiththethreeofthem?”

“Wewerestayingatthesamehotelsowhatthehell,”Gigsaid,thoughCarolinecouldswearshesaw

hisfaceredden.

“Gladyou’reallhere.”Carolinetippedherheaduptolookoverhisshoulder.“Anyoneelse

coming?”

“Severalofourcolleaguescouldn’tmakeit,”Nataliesaid.“Thepresidentishavingaseparate

ceremonyinCalifornialaterthismonth.”

Natalielookedtired.Andshewasmissingsomeone.“Where’sMark?”Carolineasked.

“He,uh,stayedbehind.”

Carolineputherarmaroundher.“Whatdoesthatmean?”

“Exactlywhatyouthinkitdoes.Iwanttofinishmyresidency,maybemoveclosertoyouguysand…

hewantedtosettleinCalifornia.”

“Oh.”Shedidn’tknowwhattosaytothat.ShewonderedwhyNataliehadn’tcalled.“I’msorry.”

“It’sallright,”Nataliesaid.“Theguyshelpedcheermeuplastnight.”

“We’regonnagodrinkingafterthisshitisover,”Jonessaid.“Mytreat.”

GiggaveCarolineabigbearhug,completingtheaffectiontrifecta.“Howyadoing?”

“Imissyouguys,”Carolinesaid.“Youneedtovisitmoreoften.”

“Ithasn’tbeenthatlong,”Jonespointedout.“YoucanalwayscometoBaltimore.”

“Iknow.Ijustmissyou.”

JonesandCrunchhadgottenanapartmentneartheInnerHarbor.Theyseemedtobegettingby.Gig

hadgonebacktoChicagotorunaprivatesecurityfirm.Funnyhowsomanythingshadhappenedina

matterofweeks.Lifekeptchangingandshecouldn’tkeepupwithit.Shewashappytobebackinthe

UnitedStatesbuthadn’tanticipatedhowmuchshe’dwishshecouldtakeeveryonewithherwhenshe

camehome.MaybeshecouldaskJackiftheyallcouldstayinthemansioninPhiladelphiaoncethey

completedtheinevitablerenovationsthatwouldhavetotakeplace.CarolinespontaneouslygaveJones

anotherhug.

“Doyoumissmemostofall?”heasked.

“Yeah.”

“FuckingA.”HepumpedhisfistandturnedtoCrunch.“ThatmakesmetheScarecrow.”

“I’mtheTinMan,”Gigsaid.

“Yup,”Carolineagreed.

“Sonofabitch.”CrunchshovedJones.“YoumademethegoddamnCowardlyLion?”

“Hey,man.”Jonessoundedoffended.“Don’tshoveme,shoveher.Notmyfaultshelikesmebetter.”

CarolinenudgedCrunchplayfully.“YouknowIloveyou.”

Crunchnudgedherback.“Yeah,Iknow.”

Giggrinned.“TheCowardlyLionisn’tsobad.Hehascourage.You’vegotatonofthat.”

“Youalldo,”Carolinesaid.“JackandIwouldn’tbehereifitweren’tforyou.”

“Hear,hear.”Natalieraisedanimaginaryglass.

“IsAuntChrissygoingtogetussoon?”Sophieasked.“I’dratherwanderaroundtheEastRoomthan

listentoallofyourinsidejokes.”

“Arewethatintolerable?”Carolinesaid.

Margueritewinkedathermother.“Wearecountingtheminutesuntilwecanleave.”

Shemighthavesoundedmildlyannoyed,butCarolineknewherdaughterlovedbeingintheheartof

Americangovernment.Therewereplentyofthingstoworkon.Federalofficeshadtoberebuilt.New

SupremeCourtJusticeshadtobeappointed,temporaryCabinetpositionsassigned.Stategovernorshad

toappointtemporarymembersofCongress.TheelectionscheduledforNovemberincludedalmostevery

availableHouseandSenateseat.Christinehadjuggleditallwithashort-termCongressandadearthof

qualifiedpeople.CarolineandJackoccasionallyofferedassistancewhenasked,butneitheronefelt

comfortabletakingonalargerole.ThiswasChristine’sshow.Theywantedabreak.

“I’msuresomeonewillbeintoretrieveussoon,”Carolinesaid.

Ofcourse,theinstantshesaidthatChristinepokedherheadinthedoor.“They’reassemblingthe

pressintheEastRoom.Astafferwillbehereshortlytoleadyouin.”

“Whataboutyou?”

“Igetintroducedallbymyself.Jealous?”

Carolinedecidedtomesswithherlightmood.Justalittle.“No,”shesaid.“Incrediblyproud.”

“Honestly,Punky.Youdothatonpurpose.”

“IndeedIdo.”

“Theroomisfullofcameras.Readytofaceyouradoringpress?”

ThepresidentmayhaveforgiventhemediabutCarolinewasnotsogracious.SheandJackhadbeen

bombardedwithrequestsforinterviewsandthey’ddeclinedthemall.Maybesomeday.Ormaybeshe’d

justwriteamemoirandbedonewithit.She’dbedamnedifshe’dletthemcontrolhernarrative.“Don’t

remindme.”

Christinestraightenedherhair.“DoIlookallright?”

Likeshedidn’talwayslookincrediblybeautiful.“Itdoesn’tmatter.”CarolinesqueezedJack’supper

arm.“Weallknowwhothey’reherefor.”

Christinesatdowninoneofthechairsinthecorner,pullingafewnotecardsfromherjacket.“Ifyou

don’tmind,IhavetochangethisspeechtomakesureIdon’taccidentallysayanythingniceaboutyou.”

Margueritehandedherapen.“I’llhelp.”

TheEastRoomwascrowded,thepresscorpssilent.Carolinetriedtoignorethecameras.Jack

lookeduncomfortable.Hehadtobe.FDRrefusedtobephotographedinawheelchair,andJackwas

likelyconfrontingalotofthesamefeelings.Hewouldn’talwaysneedtouseit;whenhewasathome,he

usedacaneorsimplyhobbledfromroomtoroom.Butwhenlongdistanceswereinvolved,hewasforced

toutilizethechair.Despitehisexuberantmood,hedespisedhavingtouseit.Carolinehadcaughthim

kickingthewheelsinfrustrationonmorethanoneoccasion,usuallyafterabrutalphysicaltherapy

session.

Shereachedforhishand,andhekissedthebackofit.“Nervous?”shewhispered.

“Notachance.”

ThedoorstotheEastRoomopened,andChristinewasannounced.Howcheesy.Shewasprobably

lovingeveryminuteofthepompandcircumstance.

“Helpme,”Jacksaid.“Iwanttostand.”

Hedidn’thavetodothat.Christineunderstood.“Jack-”

“Helpmestandforher.”

Carolineleanedoverandputherarmaroundhiswaist,helpinghimtohisfeet.Hestoodproudand

strong,thoughshesawhisinjuredlegshakingslightly.Shetightenedhergrip.“You’resittingdownas

soonasshegetshere.”

“I’lldowhatIwant,sweetheart.”

Itwasn’twortharguingover.Sheknewwhyhewantedtostandandwouldn’ttakethatmomentaway

fromhim.Notevenifitmeantthatlatertonightshe’dbeicinghislegandhe’dbedoinghisbestto

convinceherhewasn’tinpain.

Christinecrossedthestage,shakingalloftheirhandsinturn.Shepulledhereditednotecardsoutof

herjacketpocket,steppingtothepodium.

“Well,”shesaid.“It’stimethesededicatedAmericansgettherecognitiontheydeserve.Shallwe?”

Epilogue

FiveMonthsLater

Carolinesatupinbed,watchingtheriseandfallofhischest.Shedidthatsometimes.Morethan

sometimes.Moreoftenthanshe’dcaretoadmit,atleasttoJack.Shehadahardtimesleeping,though

they’dreturnedtothesecurityoftheirestateinPhiladelphia.Thenightmaresstillcame,exceptnowthey

weremostlyaboutherhusband.AndtheOvalOffice.InallthetimesshevisitedChristine,shecouldn’t

quitebringherselftoenterthatroom.Chrissyunderstood.Sheherselfhadtemporarilyrelocatedtothe

EastWingforthefirstfewmonthsshewasintheWhiteHouse,toohauntedbywhathadhappenedonthe

othersideofthebuilding.

PowellandMurdockwerestillawaitingtrialinTheHague,whichgaveCarolinegoodreasontosee

atherapistregularly.Arealone,asshejokinglytoldNatalie.TohergreatjoyNataliehadmovedtoNew

YorkCity,soshewasashorttrainorcarrideaway.Nataliewasfinallycompletingherresidencyat

Columbia.Shehadn’tcompletelygottenoverMark,saidshewasn’treadyforarelationship,butCaroline

knewshe’dmoveoneventually.

SheplacedherhandonJack’sstomach.Hedidn’tstir.Nowadayshesleptsounderthansheever

could.Thepainmedshelped.Hishairhunglazilyoverhiseyes,butitwasn'tenoughtowakehimup.She

brusheditawayanyway,curlingtowardhimandwrappingherarmaroundhiswaist.Sheclosedhereyes,

mighthavedriftedoffforamoment,untilshefeltbothofhisarmscirclingher.

“Goodmorning,”hesaid.

Sheyawned.“Goodmorning.”

Hetuckedonearmunderthebackofhishead.“WhydoIgetthefeelingyou’vebeenawakefora

while?”

“You'vebeenwatchingmesleepforyears.ThoughtI'dreturnthefavor.”

“WereyouafraidI'drunaway?”

Shedidn'tlikewhenhemadeself-effacingjokeslikethat.Notwhenhecouldn’tevenjogyet.“Of

coursenot.”

Jackrolledovertogetoutofbedandshewasinstantlyathisside.“Caroline,really,”hesaid.“I

don'tneedyourhelp.”

Hedidn'tsay'notanymore,'butshehearditanyway.Monthsofrehabilitationhadproducedpositive

resultsbutherhusbandusuallywalkedwithacane.Thespecialistsdidn'tknowhowmanysurgeriesit

wouldtakeorwhetherthey'devergettheresultsJackwanted.

Shesupposedshecouldcountherblessingsthattheywerestillabletoengageinasmuchadventurous

sexastheydid.Notthatitmatteredtoher.Theycouldhavefoundawayaroundit.Jacksaidhedidn’t

carehowmuchmobilityhegotback,aslongashecouldkneeldownbetweenherlegsforextended

periodsoftime.Carolinewouldhavefoundsuchastatementflattering,excepthesaiditinfrontofhis

doctorduringtheirlastofficevisit.

Shewashopingthedoctorwouldforgetbythenexttimetheysawhim.Wasthatsomethinghe’dputin

hisnotes?Maybeshewouldskipthatappointment.Shecouldfindaplausibleexcuse.AlthoughJackwas

maleenoughthatshealmosthadtobethere,tooafraidhewouldn’tverbalizehisconcernsonhisown.He

wasaproudman,convincedhisbodywantedtodomorethanitcould.Hisambitiousviewofhislevelof

physicalactivitywouldneedafewmoresurgeriestocometofruition.

Intheend,itwasimmaterial.Whenevertheyencounteredfrictionshe’djusttellherselftheonething

thatalwayskepthergoing.He’salive.We’rebothalive.

“Getreadyfortheday,”hesaid.“I’mnotdoingmyweightsalone.”

Hehardlyeverdid.Shewasmorethanhappytospendthetimewithhim,evenwhenhewasyelling,

whenhewasfrustrated,whenhewasspoutingprofanityafterprofanityinanefforttogetthroughallhis

repetitions.Carolinethrewherhairbackinaponytail.“Fantastic.Let’sgetitoutofthewaybeforethe

girlsgetup.”

They’dspentanungodlyamountofmoneyrenovatingtheirestate.Ithadn’tbeeninterribleshape

whentheymovedin,butCarolinewanteditfittedtoaccommodateJack’severchangingcondition.They

tooktheballroomdowntothestudsandconverteditintoagiantmastersuitewithwalk-inclosets,a

well-apportionedbathroom,andalargeareaforphysicaltherapy.Atherapistcameinthreedaysaweek;

otherwise,itwasuptoCarolinetokeepJackmotivated.Shediditthroughpositivereinforcement,buthe

hadhismoments.Ifhesnappedathershe’dsnapback,andhe’dgetthemessageprettyquickly.Shehada

feelinghewouldn’tsnapathertoday.

TheirbathroomhadJackandJilldoors,withoneleadingtothemasterbedroomandtheotherleading

tothetherapyroom.Anadditionalstudylaybeyondtheirbedroom.Carolinehopedthetherapyroom

wouldsoonjustbeaworkoutroom,butthatwaslikelymonthsoryearsdowntheroad.

“Whydon’tyoutrywalkingwithoutthecane?”sheasked.“It’snotlong.”

Hegaveheraskepticallook.“You’regoingtopushitalready?”

“Mayaswellgetyoumadsoyoucanmakeituptomelater.”

Herestedhiscaneagainstthewallnexttothenightstand.“Fine.”

Shehelpedhim.Hedidn’tcomplain,didn’ttellhertostop.Butherhelpwasconstantlychanging.A

fewmonthsagohe’dhadtoleanonherforsupport,andherbackwouldhurtforhoursafterward.But

todayheonlytookherhand,occasionallybalancinghimselfonthebathroomvanityortheshowerrailing.

Standingunsteadilyastheybothbrushedtheirteeth,washedtheirfaces,wentthroughthemorningrefresh.

Ittookafewminutestogettothefirstmachine.

“Armsfirst?”sheasked.

Hegrumbledsomethingshecouldn’tmakeout.Notagoodstart.

“Holdon,”shesaid,andretrievedtwohatsfromthebedroom.“Putthison.”

“JesusChrist,”hesaid.“Whatisthis?”

Shemaneuveredhimontothefirstmachine,ploppingtheredandwhitehatontohishead.“You’re

Santa,I’mtheelf,”shesaid.

“SincewhendoelvesgettobossSantaaround?”heasked.“Iwantthegreenhat.”

Carolinekissedhim.“Don’tbeobstinate.Santaknowsbetterthantobenaughty.”

Hepattedherassaffectionately.“IfIdomyexercises,willthehelperelfsitonmylapandtellme

whatshewants?”

Shesmiledathim.“IalreadyhaveeverythingIwant.”

Jackstoodup.“Idon’t,”hesaidsoftly,andpulledherintoanembrace.“MerryChristmas,

sweetheart.”

“Youhaveyourworkout,”shesaid.

“Itcanwait.”Hekissedher.“Ihaveadifferentwaytoworkout.”

Hmm.“Havewedoneitinthisroomyet?”

Hetuggedatherpajamatop.“Ifyoudon’tknowtheanswertothatquestion,weclearlyhaven’tdone

enoughtochristenthishomewithourhighlyquestionableamorousactivity.”

Hemisunderstoodher.“No,”shesaid.“We’vebeenmovingfromroomtoroomsofrequentlythatI

don’tremember.”

Jackledherovertooneofthechairsinthecorner,plunkingherdownonhislap.“Haveyoubeena

goodgirlthisyear?”

“Ithinkso,”shesaid.“IsavedAmericandemocracy.Isthatgood?”

“Isuppose.”

Shekissedhisneck.“Otherthanthat,Idon’tknowifI’vedoneanythingnotable.”

Hishandsmovedsteadilydownhertorso,aroundherwaist,toherthighs.“Haveyoubeennaughty

too?”

Sheslidafingerunderhiswaistband.“Always,”shemurmuredagainsthislips.

Jackpulledherpajamatopoff.“ThisisthekindoftherapyIlove.”

Carolineshiftedonhislapuntilshewasstraddlinghiswaist.Armwork,legwork,breakfast,piles

andpilesofpresents…theycouldwaitforaslongasittook.Sheunbuttonedhisshirt.“Metoo.”

“Workedupanappetite,”Jacksaid.“I’llmakeyouandthegirlschocolatechippancakes.”

Sherubbedatowelacrosshishead,dryinghishair.“Thejointshowerwasnice.Yousore?”

Hegrabbedherhand,kissingthebackofit.“Alittle.Armdayisabitch.”

“It’llgetbetter,”shesaid,pickingupabrush.“WillyouweartheSantahatatbreakfast?”

Jacksatsedatelyasshefixedhishair.“Onlyifyou’remylittleelfagain.”

Shehandedhimasweater.“Getdressed.I’llwakethegirls.”

Mid-morningandherchildrenwerestillasleep.My,howholidayhabitsevolvedastheyearswent

on.Twoteenagerswhowouldstayupuntilthebreakofdawnonlytocatchafewhoursofsleep

afterward.

MargueriteandSophiehadtakenoverthenewlydecoratedsecondfloor.MuchtoCaroline’schagrin,

MohadforegoneanapplicationtoNotreDameinlieuofVillanova.Probablybecauseherstepfatherwas

abletopullafewstringstogetheradmittedatthelastminute.Shesaidshewantedtobeclosetofamily,

whichwasquitetouchingbutJackstillrubbeditineveryonceinawhile.IfCarolinehadbeensmarter

aboutit,sheshouldhavetriedtosellthekidonTempleorLaSalle.

Margueritespentherfirstsemesterofcollegeinthedormsbutwasweighingheroptionsforthenext

academicyear.ShecamehomeeverySundayfordinner,moreoftenifshewasfeelinghomesick.Shewas

tryingtohaveasnormalacollegeexperienceaspossible,whichwasadmirableconsideringthatjust

abouteveryoneknewwhoherparentswere.Carolinewasdeterminedtokeepherhumble.

Sophiesettledinatalocalprivateschool,performinginthefallproductionofGuysandDolls.She

foundhervoicethroughartandmadeaneclecticgroupoffriends.Allthingsconsidered,Caroline’s

daughterswereaboutaswelladjustedascouldbeexpected,althoughtheywerealsoseeinga

psychiatrist.Itcouldn’thurt.

Whenshewasn’tintreatment,Carolinedistractedherselfbywriting.Shewasn’treadytoputher

experiencesatTheFedintoamemoir,butpoetryandfictiongaveheraninexplicablereleasefromstress.

She’dtakenonpaintingaswell,expressingheranger,frustration,andgriefusingvibrantcolorsset

againstdarkbackgrounds.Herpaintingswereprobablyasymbolforsomething.She’dhavetoaskher

therapist.

Carolinedecidedtobeasobnoxiousaspossible,knockingonbothoftheirdoorsasloudlyasshe

could.“Riseandshine,”shecalled.“Breakfastwon’tmakeitself.”

Sleepyeyesandafewgrumbles,butitdidn’ttakelongforthemtostumbleintothekitchen.They

almostinstantlystartedhelpingJackassembletheingredientsforthepancakes.ThiswaswhatCaroline

needed.Thiswasherhome.Butshehadmorethanafewthingstoaccomplishonthisholiday.

“Speeditup,guys,”shesaid.“I’mmeetingthepresidentinanhour.”

Abrisk,cold,sunnyChristmasmorning.Ithadsnowedalmosteverydaythepastweekandtherewas

asolidsixinchesontheground.Carolinetrudgedthroughthesnowcoveredgrass,acrossthecemetery.

ShesawthecarsparkedaroundtheEpiscopalchurchinthedistance.Lastserviceofthemorning.

Carolinedidn’tthinkaboutGodallthatmuchanymore,butshehopedhewaswithhertoday.

TheSecretServicestoodclusteredinthedistance,whichmeantChristinehadalreadyarrived.

Carolinehadneverbeentothisplacebefore,butwhenherbestfriendaskedforemotionalsupportshe

gaveit.Shedrewclosertotheagents,whowavedherpastthem.

Twoheadstones,markingsiteswherenobodieslay.Therehadbeenasmallmemorialceremonyat

theWhiteHouseafterSusannahreturnedfromFrance,butChristinewantedsomethingmorepermanent.

Herdaughtervisitedthesiteeverynowandagain,plantingflowers,layingwreaths,whateverseemed

appropriate.Carolinehadneverbeenthere.Untilnow.Shekneltdownandbrushedthedebrisoffthe

markersasChristinelaidasmallbouquetofflowersacrosseachstone.

“Goodmorning,Caroline,”shesaid.“It’scold.Ihopeyoudidn’tsoakthroughyourjeans.”

Mysteriouslymaternalaversion.“Doyouwantmetogiveyoumoretimealone?”Carolineasked.

Christinesqueezedherhand.“No.I’dratherhaveyouhere.Theyturnedoutrathernicely,don’tyou

think?”

Thenameswerespelledoutincursive,bothsetabovetheSullivanfamilycoatofarms.Thomas

DesmondSullivan.JessicaSiobhanSullivan.

“Heforcedmetogiveherthatmiddlename,”Christinesaid,shakingherfingeratJessica’s

memorial.“ItgrewonmeafterawhilebutIhateditforalong,longtime.”

“Ilikeit.Ilikethecresttoo.Lamhfoistenachabu,”Carolineread.“IsthatGaelic?”

“Thefamilymotto,”Christinesaid.“Thereareseveraldifferenttranslationsbutit’straditionally

understoodtomean‘thegentlehandtovictory.’”SherearrangedtheflowersonTom’sheadstone.“It

seemedappropriate.”

Carolinegaveheralittlehug.“Itis.”

Christineheldoutherwrist,drawingbackhercoatsleeve.“GavemyselfalittleChristmaspresent.I

hadthisadjustedsoIcouldwearit.StillabitlargebutIdon’tcare.”

Carolinelookedcloser.Tom’swatch.“Itlooksperfect.”

“Imissthem,”Christinewhispered,asmallsobescapingherlips.

ShegaveChrissyanotherhug,anddidn’tbotherlettinggo.“Imissthemtoo.Butthey’rewatching

overyou.Overus.Theyalwayshave.”

Theydidn’tspeakagainuntiltheyheardthesoundofbellscarriedtothecemeterybythewind.The

morningservicehadended.

“Susannahistryingtogetmetogooutwithoneoftheolderpartnersatherfirm,”Christinesaid.“He

remindsherofThomas.”

“Doyouthinkyou’rereadyforthat?Imean,emotionally?”

“Idon’tknow.”Christinegaveherasmallsmile.“Ithinkhe’sscaredtogooutwithme.”

“Whatmakesyouthinkthat?”

Shelookedatthewatchagain.“JustavibeIgetfromSusannah.”

Carolineshrugged.“He’sprobablyafraidyou’llcuthisdickoff.”

“Caroline!”sheadmonished.“Language!We’reinacemetery.ThatEpiscopalGodovertherecan

probablyhearyoutoo.”

“Ifhe’sanythinglikeCatholicGod,Ithinkhe’susedtomebynow.ButI’llcleanitupforyou.He’s

probablyafraidyou’llcutoffhismember.”

“Better.Doyouthinkhe’llfindmeintimidating?Thomasneverdid.”

“Let’ssee.You’reabrasiveashellandyou’reasoontobeformerPresidentoftheUnitedStates.

Whyonearthwouldhebeintimidatedbythat?”

Christineleanedinforahug.Shehadgottensomuchbetteratthatnow,especiallyaftermeetingher

grandchildrenforthefirsttime.Spontaneousdisplaysofaffectionhadbecomecommonplace.“Iloveyou,

youknow.”

Carolinetweakedherscarf.“Ido.”

Christineheldontoherforalongtimebeforepullingawayandwipinghereyes.“Wecangonow.”

Theyhadn’tbeenthereformorethanahalfanhour.Itwascoldbutnotunbearable.“Wecanstay

longerifyouwant.”

“Iwanttogo.You’regoingtoneedhelpmakingthatbigChristmasmeal.”Shesniffled.“Icancome

backwheneverIneedto.”

ShehadafewmoreweeksbeforeRogerBaileywouldbesworninasthenew,legitimatelychosen

President-elect.Asashowofgoodwillandrespect,he’dofferedBrianCapwellhischoiceofpositions

inhisadministration.Ithadbeenacloseelectionbutforthefirsttimeinaslongasanyonecould

remember,itwasrelativelyclean,positive,andfocusedonpolicyasopposedtopersonality.Caroline

hadhighhopesthatBaileycouldundothedamagedonebySantos.Someofitmightnevercometopass

butgoodpeoplewereboundanddeterminedtotry.

“Trafficfromthechurchhasclearedout,”Carolineobserved.

They’dbothskippedMassthepreviousevening.Allofthemhad.Noneedtokeepupappearances.

Theycouldgobackwhentheywereready,ifthatdaycame.

“Yes,”Christinesaid.“Shouldmypeoplefollowyourpeople?”

“Youmean,shouldyourofficialsuperspeciallimofollowmyratherordinaryNissanbacktomy

altogethergarishestate?”

Christinetookherhand,smilingatherastheywalkedtotheircars.“Worksforme,”shesaid.“Icall

themashedpotatoes.”

Susannah,Jacob,andthetwinsspentChristmasatJackandCaroline’salongwithChristine.

Christine’srelationshipwithSusannah’shusbandhadwarmedtothepointthatshewasquitenicetoJacob

duringtheafternoonandevening.Susannah’schildrenwerejusttoddlers,burstingwithenergy.Sophiegot

akickoutofthemandSusannahappreciatedthebreak.WhenSusannahandJacobpackedupthekidsand

saidtheirgoodbyes,Christinemanagedtoslipoutthedooraswell,promisingCarolineshe’dswingby

thenextdaysotheycouldspendmorequalitytimetogether.She’dgivenCarolineTom’sNotreDame

letterjacketandahostofothercollectibles,makingacrypticstatementabouthowshesuspectedCaroline

wouldfindanappropriateplaceforthem.

EventhoughChristine’stermwouldendafterbarelysevenmonthsinoffice,anumberofactivists

groupshadsolicitedherforspeakingengagements,andshewaslikelytobeoutofstateoffandonfor

muchofthenewyear.RequestshadbeenpouringinforCarolineandJackaswell,buttheyhadturned

themalldown.Sofar.

CarolinehadconsumedfartoomuchMoscato,andMargueriteandSophiehadstuffedthemselves

withcookiesandpie.Buttheystillhadafewpresentstoopen.SheandJackhadtoldthegirlsnottoget

themanything.Asidefromanupdatedfamilyphoto,theydidn’tneedanythingelse.MoandFeefhad

remainedtightlipped.Carolinewasconvincedtheywereuptosomething,especiallyafterthey’dspent

sometimehiddenawaywithSusannahinthelibraryafterChristmasdinner.

Newlaptopsforthegirls.Somenewclothes.AndCarolinehadrathercomicallyplacedasmallcard

insideagiantbox,whichMargueriteallowedSophietoopen.

Shepulledoutthecardandreadit.“Adog?”sheasked.“Really?”

“Really.Whateverkindyouwant,butI’mverypro-shelterdogs,soyouknow.”

Sophiethrewherarmsaroundher.“Iwantapuppy.Idon’tcareifit’samutt.I’lltakecareofit.”

“You’dbetter,”Jacksaid.“I’mnotwalkingadamndogacrossthegroundsinthewinter.Pup’sgonna

havetolearnthatsnowiscoldonhisown.”

“Oh,we’llneedpuppypads,andtoys,and…ohmyGodthisisgoingtobesomuchfun!”

“Calmdown,Soph.Ibetthepoundisn’tevenopenuntilliketwodaysfromnow.Breathe.”

Margueriteslidanenvelopefromunderthetree.“WehavetogivemomandJacktheirpresent.”She

handedittoJack.“It’smoreforyoubutIthinkmomwillappreciateittoo.”

Interesting.“Whatevercoulditbe?”Carolineasked.

Jackslidhisfingeracrosstheseal.“Onlyonewaytofindout.”Hetookastackofpapersout,

examiningthembeforehandingthemtoCaroline.Hedidn’tspeak.

“Jack?”sheaskedsoftly.

“Justlook,”Sophiesaid.

Shewasn’tpracticinganymore,butCarolinecouldwhipherwaythroughlegaldocumentswhenshe

neededto.“Theseareconsentforms,”shesaid,turningtoJack.Hehadhishandoverhiseyes.“I-”

Margueritecrouchedonthefloornexttothecouch.“It’sprobablyjustaformality.Ijustthought-”

“Wethought,”Sophiecorrected.“Itwasmyideatoo.AndSusannahhelped.”

“Wewantyoutoadoptus,”Margueritesaid.“Ifthat’sallright.”

Hehadn’tspokenbutwasbreathingheavily.“Jack?”Carolinewhispered.“Areyouokay?”

Hebroughthisheadup.Thereweretearsinhiseyes.“ImustsayIdidn’texpectthisatall.”

Sophiegrinned.“Wefiguredwe’dtakeyoubysurprise.”

Itwouldindeedbeaformalitybutanimportantsymbolicgesture.CarolineandJackhadconsidered

doingitthemselvesafterthey’dgottenmarriedandupdatedtheirwills.Intheendthey’ddecidedagainst

itbecausetheydidn’twanttodiminishthegirls’relationshipwithNicky.Buttimeandexperiencehada

wayofchangingperspectives.

“I’mdamnsurprised,I’llgiveyouthat.”Jackwipedhiseyes.“Areyousurethisiswhatyoureally

want?”

“Well,Ireservemyrighttochangemymindduringthehearing-”MargueriteyelpedwhenSophiehit

herarm.“ButIdoubtthatwillhappen.”

“I’mnotyourfather.Iwouldneverwanttotakehisplace.I-”

“Weknow,”Sophiesaid.“Butyou’reourdadineverywaythatcounts.Daddywouldunderstand.It’s

whathe’dwanttoo,I’msureofit.”

JackturnedtoCaroline.“Areyouonboardwiththis,sweetheart?”

Carolinebitherlip.“Ididn’tknowtheywereplanningthis,ifthat’swhatyou’reasking.ButI’min

supportofitifyouare.”

Thegirlsbothleanedinforhugs,andJackletalittlesniffleout.“I’mverymuchinfavorofit.Thank

you.”

Margueritekissedhischeek.“MerryChristmas.”SheturnedtoSophie.“Theybothcried.Youowe

metenbucks.”

“Don’truinagoodmoment,”Sophiesaid,snugglinginbetweenherparents.“Thisisthebest

Christmasever.”

Carolinecouldn’tthinkofanyreasontodisagree.

Afterafewmoretearsandalotmoreconversation,thegirlsslunkofftobedaftergorgingoncandy

canesandcookies.CarolineandJackretiredtothelibrary,whichwasstillherfavoriteroominthehouse.

Ithadn’tbeeninterribleshapewhentheymovedin,buttheyrenovatedanyway.Thecherrywoodshonea

littlebrighter,thepianowastuned,thefireplacelit.Shewaslookingforwardtosomelightreadingbefore

retiringtoherownbedroom.

“Earlynight,”Carolinesaid.“Wemusthavewornthemout.”

“Isuspecttheywentupstairssowecouldhavesometimealone.”

Shearchedaneyebrow.“Whatdidyouhaveinmind?Ileftmyelfhatupstairs.”

“Closeyoureyes,”Jacksaid.“Timetoreviveanoldtradition.”

Shedidn’tneedanymorejewelry.Shehadenough.Hewouldn’thavedonethat,wouldhe?“Jack-”

“Indulgeme.”Heguidedheracrossthelibrary.Itwasashortwalk.“Openyoureyes,”hesaid.

Theywerestandinginfrontofthedoortohisoldstudy.“What’sgoingon?”

“YouhavetheleastpatienceofanyoneI’veevermet.I’llhaveyouknowthatIshowedthisto

Christineearliertodayandsheapproves.”

“Isthatgoodorbad?”Carolineasked.

“Youtellme.Closeyoureyesagain.”

Maybeheshouldhaveblindfoldedher.Allhisdirectionswereapain.Hepulledherthroughthe

door,towardthemiddleoftheroom.Hesqueezedhershoulders.“Openthem,”hesaidsoftly.

Carolinelookedaroundtheroomandgasped.Thewallswerecoveredfromalmostfloortoceiling

withpictures,magazinecovers,plaques,andbaseballjerseys.PicturesofherandJack,ofherandNicky

andthegirls,ofChristineandTomandJess.JenandKatieandEllen.AgreatshotofCarolineandBobat

acampaignstop.Herfavoritepiecesofcorrespondence.MementosfromhertimeinBaltimoreasastate

prosecutor,andfromherstintasafederalprosecutor.Herdiplomasandawards,includingher

CongressionalGoldMedalandbothpresidentialcommendations.Bookshelvesfilledwithsports

memorabiliaandherfavoritenovelsandnonfiction.HerbelovedWrigleyFieldturnstilewassetupinthe

corneroftheroom.Afewjerseyshungonmannequins,withoneleftempty.PerfectforaNotreDame

letterjacket.

Shebitherlip.“Jack,wheredidyou–how?”

“IwentthroughthehouseinRockville,”hesaid.

Carolinehadrefusedtogoinsideafterseeingtheconditionthelivingroomandentrywayhadbeenin.

Ithadhurttoomuch.SheandSophiehadsprawledoutonthegrassinthefrontyardtryingnottocrywhile

MargueriteandJackhadtakenaquicklookaround,declaringthehomeunlivable.Ithadsolidifiedher

decisiontorelocatepermanentlytoPhiladelphia.TheymaintainedtheirbrownstoneinD.C.but

Washingtonheldverylittleappealtoher.

Sheputherhandoverhermouth.“ButIthought-”

“MoandIwentbackandrummagedthroughthedebris.Wesavedwhatwecould.IgotMarquetteand

NotreDametosendmenewdiplomas.”

He’dpackedalotintooneroom.Shecouldspendhoursgettinglostinallthatmemorabilia.Allthose

memories.SheabsentlytappedthetopofaCubsbobbleheadsittingononeofthebookshelves.“Thisis

veryimpressive.”

Jackbroughthisarmsaroundherfrombehind.“Itwashard.Alotofthingsweredestroyed.Ihadto

recreatesomephotos.Ihopethisisokay.Idon’twanttomakeyousad.”

“It’swonderful,”Carolinesaid,blinkingbacktears.“Idon’tknowwhattosay.”

“I’llgiveyouahint.You’rewelcome,Caroline.”

Shesmiled.“Thankyou,Jack.”

Hesoundedself-assuredbutlookedalittlenervous.“Pleasesayyoulikeit.”

“Iloveit,”shewhispered.

“Evenbetter.”

“It’sthemostmagnificentthingI’veeverseen.”

“I’vealwaysgivenyoujewelryonChristmas.ThisyearIwantedtodosomethingdifferent.

Somethingtrulyvaluable.”

“You’veoutdoneyourself.”Shewasstillatalossforwords.“Imayneverleavethisroom.”

“Youcanstayhereeverydayaslongasyouendupinbedwithmeatnight.”

Shecouldcertainlyagreetothat.“Deal.”

“Iwantyoutocomeinherewheneveryoustarttoforgetwhoyouareandwhoyou’regoingto

become.”Jackkissedthebackofherhead.“We’velostalotbutwehaveeachother.Wehaveourfamily.

Andallinall,Ihopeyoufeelyou’velivedameaningfullife.Youhavesomuchmoretodo,sweetheart.

Andtimetodoit.Webothdo.”

Carolineturnedtofacehim.He’drecoverphysically.She’drecovermentally.Thegirlswouldgrow

andmatureandbecomeremarkablewomen.Theywerecompleteatlast.They’dfillwhatoncewasa

large,impersonalhousewithenoughlovetomakeitthehomeitwasmeanttobe.“Iknow.”

Jackkissedherlefthand,justaboveherengagementring.Sheworeitallthetimenow,alongwith

heranniversaryband.Nowthatshefeltitwassafe.Nowthattheirliveshadstartedtoreturntonormal,

thoughtheywouldnevertrulybenormalagain.Itwasareminderofeverythingthey’dgonethrough

together.Shestillworehisweddingbandaroundherneck,andhehers.

“Iknowyouneverputmuchstockinhappyendings,”hesaidquietly.“Butdoyouthinkyoumightbe

willingtoseeifwecanmakeourown?”

Shewassafehere,withhim.Safe,andstrong,andohsoloved.Hewhisperedthosewordsinherear

whenheheldherinhisarmsatnight.Exceptnowheknewshewasn’tasleep,knewsheheardeveryword

astheytangledthemselvesupineachotherdespitetheirphysicalandemotionalwounds.Carolineknew

thathewouldspendtherestofhisdaysmakingsuresheneverforgotanyofthosethings.

Shethrewherarmsaroundhisneckandkissedhim.“Absolutely,”shewhispered.

Acknowledgments

IfanyofyouwerewonderingwhatChristinetoldCarolinewhenshegaveherthemedal…I’llnever

tell.

Justkidding!Shesaid,“SaintMichael,protectmywarriorsister.”Apparentlyhedid.

I’mnotevensurewheretobegin…sincethishasbeensuchalongjourney.IstartedwritingThe

BellatorSagainNovember2013.Itstartedoutasonebook,thenthree,thensix…allbecauseJackand

Carolinekepttalkingtome.

Andnow,overthreeyearslater,we’vereachedtheend.Ican’tsayI’llneverrevisittheworldthese

vibrantcharactersinhabit;allofthemhavebecomeembeddedinmysoulandIdoubtI’llbeableto

completelyletthemgo.

Astimehaspassedthebookshavetakenongreatersignificance,notonlybecauseofcurrentevents

butbecauseofthewaythatpeoplehaverespondedtothesaga.ForthisIameternallygrateful…butthere

areafewpeopleImustthankpersonally.IhopeIdidn’tleaveanyoneout!Therearealotofyouwho

havehelpedoutininnumerableways,andIadoreyouforit.Anyoversightisunintentional.

First,toJxandDeanna(myPinkLadies,LOL!),Rachael,Sybil,Liz,Kimmy,Terri,TeriLyn,and

everyoneelsewhohaseverbetareadanypartoftheseries…yourfeedbackwasinvaluable.Theseriesis

whatitisbecauseyouhelpedmeorganizemythoughtsandenhancetheplotwhenneeded.Youlovedmy

charactersenoughtoimprovethem,andthatisprecioustome.Simplyreferringtoyouasbetasdoesn’t

seemenough.Youaremynitpickiestcritics(lookingatyou,Jx!),mysnarkiestanalysts(KimmyandSybil,

bingo),themostawesometableassistants(RachaelandLiz),mystorystructuremanagers(Terri,Deanna,

andTeriLyn),andthecheerleadersIneededwhenIwasindoubt.ToMonica(myWonderTwin),whodid

myeditingforfree.

ToSuzanne,whoforcedKatytoreadmybooks.Iadoreyouboth.ToDee,Ihopeyoukeepenjoying

mybooksandmycookies…they’reoftenslowtocomebutthey’reworthit,right?ToJeanmyfellowlaw

talkinggal,I’msogladyouclickedonthatFacebookad.I’mprettysureyou’retheonlypersonthey

workedon,LMAO!ToKristen,youdescribemybooksbetterthanIevercould.Wehavetomeetin

personsoIcanactallawkwardlygrateful.ToJaime,whosharesmyundyingdevotiontoToriSpelling.

Somedayotherswillrealizewe’reright.TomyPusheen,CarolSales,everytimeIseePusheenJackI

thinkofyou!

ToCarolAllen,Shelley,Danielle,Dianne,Mercedes,Samantha,April,Pavi,Zetti,Natalie,Rose,

MoonshineBecky,Elle,Kay,Myla,Tana,Annie,Ninnie,Tesrin,Kim,Gill,Veronica,Shirley,Margaret,

Claudia,Letty,Brandi,ElizabethClinton,KikiChatfield,andanyonewho’severbeenaRebelWarrioror

aStealthBomberorpermanentpimper,yourfriendshipandsupportmeantheworld.

Tomyhusband,whohastoleratedmycrankinessandmyschleppingofparentaldutiessoIcould

write,youaremyNicky.Andtomykiddos,whosenamesImanagedtoworkintothisfinalbookjust

because.Youarethelightofmylife,butyou’renotallowedtoreadmommy’sstoriesuntilyou’refifty.

ToLucy,whokeepsmeonmytoesandmakesmeabetterwriterandperson,Iamsogratefulforyour

friendship.Youmahboo.PeoplecomeintoourlivesforareasonandIamsoverygladyoucameinto

mine.Thanksforthebackcoverquote!

Andlast,butcertainlynotleast…toIrene,who’sthereasonalotofthesefolksareinthe

acknowledgmentstobeginwith.Yourtirelesspromotionofmybooksexposedthemtocountlessnew

readers,andyourfriendshiphasmaintainednotonlymysanitybutmyfaith.Wordscannotexpresshow

muchIoweyou.WithoutyouIwouldnothavemykickassbetasormyquotablereviewersortheconstant

reminderthatIdidsomethingreallysupersignificant,evenifit’snotamoneymaker.IfAmericagoesto

shit,rememberthatyoupromisedmeandmyfamyoursparebedroom.

Ofcourse,tothoseofyouwhohavestuckwithmeuntiltheend…you’reawesome.JackandCaroline

loveyou,Iloveyou,andIhopesomedayIcancomeupwithastoryascaptivatingastheirs.ButI’m

takingabreakfirst,LOL!

Thissagahascrossedoverintometafictionattimes.IdidnotenvisionthiswhenIstartedwriting.It

hasreawakenedmycriticalthinkingandreinvigoratedmetousemyskillstoimprovethelivesofthose

aroundme.Vigilanceissorelyneededinthesetryingtimes.Idon’tneedtotellyoumypoliticalbeliefs;

thesebookslaythemoutprettyclearly.IamsuretherearesomeissuesonwhichIandmyreaderswould

disagree.ButIhopethatifyoutakeanythingawayfromJackandCaroline’sstory,itisthis:Beengaged.

Beinvolved.Questionyourleaders.Demandaccountability.Workforjustice.Mostofall,bekind.Be

ridiculously,ludicrouslykind.Wedon’tgettotakeanythingwithuswhenwedepartthisworld,somake

sureyouleaveitallonthefield.

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