NewYorkTimesand#1ebookbestsellingauthorAlexaRileyreturnswithStayClose,thefirst
novellainabrand-newseriesspinningofffromthebestsellingForHerbooks.
A former Russian mafia soldier is hired to protect a friend’s young daughter, but he knows
he’lldomorethankeephersafe–he’llmakeherhis.Forever.
Ifsheweretosimplywhispermyname,Iwouldbeatherfeet,beggingtotouchwhatIshouldn’t,
tastewhatdoesn’tbelongtome,runmyhandsalongthesweetinnocenceshetauntsmewith.
PenelopeJusticeiseighteen,oldenoughtograduatehighschoolbut—accordingtoherparents—not
oldenoughtolivewithout24/7security.Practicehasmadeheranexpertatditchingherbodyguards.One
lookatIvanandsheneverwantstorunagain.
I’vebeenhiredtoprotecther.
Ican’thelpbutthinkthatperhapssomeoneshouldhaveprotectedherfromme.
Ivan steals the breath right out of her lungs, something no boy has ever done. Then again, he's far
from a boy. This man, this man who looks like he could kill someone with the flick of a wrist, is
everything.Heisherfuture.
Ican’tlethergoandIwon’tgiveherup.I’vedonebadthingsinmylife,andIdon’tdeserveher.
ButIcan’tdothehonorablething.
I’veneverbeennoble,andI’mnotstartingnow.
Thisbookisapproximately23,000words
One-click with confidence. This title is part of the Carina Press Romance Promise: all the
romanceyou’relookingforwithanHEA/HFN.It’sapromise!
Dedication
ForDaisy...Wemissyoueveryday.
Contents
Prologue:Ivan
ChapterOne:Penelope
ChapterTwo:Ivan
ChapterThree:Penelope
ChapterFour:Ivan
ChapterFive:Penelope
ChapterSix:Ivan
ChapterSeven:Penelope
ChapterEight:Ivan
ChapterNine:Penelope
ChapterTen:Ivan
ChapterEleven:Penelope
ChapterTwelve:Ivan
ChapterThirteen:Penelope
Epilogue:Penelope
Epilogue:Ivan
DearReader,
As book lovers, no matter how much we want our favorite stories to go on forever, we know that
eventually they will come to an end. The same is sadly true of my monthly letter to you. While I know
someofyoudolookforwardtothisletter,we’vedecidedthatwecannolongercontinuetoincludeitfor
somepracticalreasons,whichIdon’twanttoboreyouwith.Sothiswillbemylastlettertoyouall.But
neverfear,thegoodbookswillcontinuetocomeeverymonthandthatiswhat’smostimportant!
Still,Igetonelastchancetotellyouallabouttheamazingbookswehaveinstoreforyou,andI’m
goingtotakefulladvantageoftheopportunity.Areyouready?
Powerhouse author duo Alexa Riley follows up their bestselling full-length novels
withatrilogyofspin-offnovellas.Firstup,in
whateverittakestoconquerherheadstrongwaysandmakeherhis.Anddon’tmissthenexttwonovellas,
releasing later in 2017 and early in 2018, as well as their third full-length novel, Claimed, coming in
spring2018.
At Noble House, a first-of-its-kind hybrid fetish club that blends real life with the online, three
lovers reunite to explore role play and high-tech toys as they battle demons from the past that could
threaten their future. Sara Brookes’s
is only the first in her supercharged erotic romance
series,NobleHouseKink.
Themale/maleromance
trilogybyK.A.Mitchellisnowavailableinonevolumein
massmarketprint,audioanddigitalformats.Oppositesattractandigniteoncampusasoptimistic,open-
heartedandsometimescluelessEthanmeetsWyatt,whohasplentyofreasonsforhidingunderhishoodie.
Togethertheyfaceajealousex,disapprovingparentsandthemostdangeroustestofall:reallifetogether
offcampus.
authorJulesCourtisbackwithherthirdcontemporaryromancenovella,Tease Me
Tonight.ElizabethOwensspentthelasteightyearsastheresponsibleandcelibateguardianofherlittle
sister,butnowMegan’sleftthenest,andElizabeth’sreadytoletherwildsideoutwithfirefighterWill
MacGregor. The only problem is Will wants a connection with Elizabeth that will last longer than one
steamynight,andheknowsifhegivesintoosoontotheirattractionhe’llloseher.Youcanalsopickup
HotintheCityand
indigital,whereverCarinaebooksaresold.
In
,thesecondinstallmentinBethDranoff’sromanticurbanfantasyMarkofthe
Moonseries,covertagentturnedbartenderDanaisdrawnbacktoherAgencypastbyanoffershecan’t
refuse from a guy she never thought she’d see again. Lured by curiosity, and torn between freedom and
restraint,Danahastodecidewhethershe’sreadytolooktothefuturewhileleavingthescarsofherpast
behind.
RomanticsuspenseauthorKatieRuggle,writingasKatieAllen,joinsCarinaPresswiththefirstof
severaleroticromancebacklistreleasesleadinguptoherfall2017neweroticromancerelease.Inher
Research&Desireseries,we’llpublish
,
,
in back-to-back months from July through October. Then look for book one of her new
seriesinNovember2017.
Tenyearsafterherejectedher,theSeductionSquad’snewestrecruit,ChristieMason,finallyhasthe
chance to get her revenge on Theo Ward, but there are some fantasies that are best left in the past and
sometaboosthatshouldneverbeexploredin
byAmandaStewart.
RobynBachar’s
isthenextinhersci-firomanceseries,TheGalacticColdWar.
Privateer pilot Lieutenant Jiang Chen searches for the location of a terrible superweapon, but when the
mission threatens to reveal the dangerous secrets of her past, Jiang’s only ally is sexy chief of security
RyderKalani,whoisbattlingdemonsofhisown.Startwithbookone,
,today!
FansofTVshowThe100willwanttoreadZaideBishop’sBonesofEdenseries.Releasinginthree
volumesinJulyandAugust,thesecontinuingstorieshaveitall,fromforbiddenlovetowartoaracefor
survival.
comesoutinearlyJuly,followedby
August.
That’sallforourdearreaderletters,butpleasefollowusonsocialmedia—
or
orsignupforour
tobekeptinformedaboutallourgreatreadsinthefuture.
Foronefinaltime,fellowreadersandbooklovers,here’swishingyouawonderfullifeofbooksyou
love,rememberandrecommend.
Happyreading!
~AngelaJames
EditorialDirector,CarinaPress
Prologue
Ivan
Shelovestodance.
HersmallbodymoveswiththedarkbeatofthebassasIthrowbackashotofvodka.Thereisno
burnwhentheliquidwarmthhitsmytongueandmeltsdownmythroat.IclenchtheglassbecauseIcan’t
putmyhandswhereIwantthem.
Theseductivecurveofherwaistasitcascadestotheflareofherhips…Iwatchtransfixedwhen
theymovesidetoside.Sidetoside.Herbodyislikethependuluminsideagrandfatherclock,andIcan’t
lookaway.
Themusicisdeafening,butifsheweretosimplywhispermyname,Iwouldbeatherfeet,begging
totouchwhatIshouldn’t,tastewhatdoesn’tbelongtome,runmyhandsalongthesweetinnocenceshe
tauntsmewith.AninnocenceIshouldn’twantbutcrave.Somethingsopureanduntouchedlikenothing
I’veeverknownbefore.
Slamming the glass down on the bar, I’m both disappointed and relieved when it doesn’t break.
MaybethecutoftheglasscouldcoolthefeelingsIhavepulsingthoughmebutIdoubtit.Notwithher.
I’mnotsureanythingevercould.Iwouldwelcomeapainthat’sgreaterthanmyacheforher.Forthereis
nothingmorepowerfulthanthespellshehasmeunder.
I’vebeenhiredtoprotecther.
ButasIpushawayfromthebarandwalktowardsher,Ican’thelpbutthinkthatperhapssomeone
shouldhaveprotectedherfromme.
ChapterOne
Penelope
Ileanupagainstthewallinthehallway,tryingtodeterminewhat’sbeingsaidinsidemymomand
dad’soffice.I’vebeenstandingouthereforovertwentyminutesandcan’tmakeoutaword.Infact,I’m
notevensurethey’respeakingEnglish.Isawthemanwhocametohaveameetingwiththemshortlyafter
dinner. It was odd because my parents never bring their work home. The moment my eyes met his,
somethingfunnyhappenedinsideme.Hestolethebreathrightoutofmylungs,somethingnoboyhadever
donebefore.
It might have to do with the fact that he was far from a boy. That beast was all man, maybe even
something more. A man who looked like he could kill someone with the flick of his wrist. And the
weirdestpart—howcouldsomeonewholookedsomenacingdrawmein?Calltosomethingdeepinside
me.SomethingthatIdidn’tevenknowwasthereuntilIsawhim.
Myparentsruntheentiresecurityandprotectiondivisionforonethetopcompaniesintheworld,so
I’vebeenaroundalotofpeoplewholookdeadly.MysisterandIhavewhisperedthatwethinkatone
time our father worked undercover for the government. At least that’s what Pandora, my twin, thinks. I
believeher,becausePandoranoticeseverything.Youcan’tgetmuchpasther.
This guy seems dark and deadly, from his eyes that are so brown they’re almost black, to his jet-
black hair that’s been buzzed short. It looks like he doesn’t have the time—or the inclination—to do
anything with it. The way he walked in and how he held himself makes me think he doesn’t give much
thoughttohowhelooks.Someonelikehimdoesn’tcarewhatothersthink,andthatkindofconfidenceis
sexy.It’sdifferentthanwhatI’musedtowiththeboysatschool.Thatdifferencedrawsmetohim.
I caught sight of tattoos that ran along his knuckles and hands before disappearing under his coat.
Thentheypeekedoutagain,uparoundthecollarofhisjacket,makingmethinkthatmostofhisbigbody
wascoveredinink.Andthemanwasbig.
Hewasn’tlikemostofthemenwhoworkformydad.Theylookliketheycouldtakeyouinafight,
but they’re always clean cut and in suits. Not this man. I don’t know what it was about him, but I was
drawntohiminstantly.
Heisn’tmynormaltype,notthatIreallyhaveatypeatall.I’monlyeighteen,soI’mnotsureI’ve
decidedthatyet.TheboysItalktoatschoolwouldfallunderthepreppycategory,butthat’sprettymuch
everyguythere.It’sprivateandcaterstokidswithsomeoftherichestparentsinNewYorkCity.Noone
thereisrunningaroundwithtattooscoveringtheirbody.
“Notthisone,Penny.”
Ijumpalittleatmysister’ssoftwords.She’sstandingnexttomewithherbackagainstthewallas
well,asifshe’sbeentherethewholetime.
“How do you do that?” I whisper at her. Jesus. Everyone in this freaking house is like a spy or
something.Theymovearoundlikecats,nevermakinganoise.WhenImove,peopledon’tnormallymiss
mecoming.I’mloudandprettyclumsy.
She shoots me a smirk, and I roll my eyes. She reaches out her hand and links it with mine. “You
weren’tinbed.”
“BecauseI’mspying,”Iwhisperalittletooloudlyandcringeatmyself.
I’msureI’mdoingaterriblejobatsneakingaround.You’dthinklivingwithPandoraandmyparents,
Iwouldhavepickedupsometricks.ButIshouldhaveknownmysisterwouldcatchme.We’retwinsand
havehadourownroomssinceweturnedthirteen,butshestillendsupinmybedmostnights.Shedoesn’t
sleep well when she’s alone. I like it, though. Pandora has always been the strong one, even when we
were growing up. She gives no shits, whereas I’m the girly girl who gets her feelings hurt about
everything.Butattheendoftheday,Pandoraisstilltheonecrawlingintomybed.ItmakesmefeellikeI
also have a way of making her feel safe. Just like she always did with me growing up. From school
playgroundstoassholesboys,Pandorawasalwaystheretoputsomeoneintheirplace.
“Theyprobablyknowyou’reouthere,”shewhispersback,andIshrug.
Idon’tcare.Iwantanotherlookatthedarkstranger.Somethingabouthimhaspiquedmycuriosity,
andIfeeldrawntohim.Maybeit’sthemystery,ormaybeit’sthatheseemslikeachallenge.Itcouldbe
that while I find the darkness in his eyes sexy, they still seem a little lonely. My weakness is seeing
someoneelsehurting,andIcaughtaglimpseofthat.Itcallstome.
“Nothim,Penny.Sticktotheboysatschool.”
Ilookoverather.Welookexactlythesame,butIhavemyfather’sgreeneyesandPandorahasour
mother’sdeepblueeyes.We’rebothbuiltlikeher,though.We’rebothpetitewithsmallfeaturesanddeep
redhair.Oureyesarereallytheonlywaytotellusapart.Thatis,untiloneofusopensourmouth.Then
it’seasytotellwho’swho.
Ifeelwarmthhitmycheeks.I’mnotshockedsheknewIwasstandingoutheretryingtogetanother
lookathim,butI’mstillalittleembarrassed.I’vealwaysbeenalittleboycrazy,butitneverlastslong.I
crushforasecondandthenjumpontothenext.Forsomereason,whenIknowtheylikemeback,Ilose
interestfast.PandoraalwaysjokesthatI’minlovewithhavingacrush,andoncethecrushisgone,soam
I.
“Somethingfeelsoff.Ican’tputmyfingeronit,buthe’srougharoundtheedges.Youneedsomeone
sweet.”
She’sright.Somethingdoesfeeldifferentwithhim,butit’sakindofdifferentIdon’twanttostay
awayfrom.AscrazyasitsoundsIthinkhe’smine.Idon’tknowwhybutwhenIsawhim,itwasallI
couldthink.
“Fuck,”shemumbles,probablyreadingmyface.
Thedoortoourparents’officeopens,makingusbothjumpawayfromthewall.Ourmomstandsin
thedoorway,herhandsonherhips.“Whatareyoutwodoing?”
“I wanted to see if we could stay late after school tomorrow to study for finals,” Pandora says
quickly.
She’sfastonhertoestocoverupforus.She’salwaysbeenthatway,evenwhenwewerelittle.I
wouldgetabrightidea,likecoveringourroominsparkles,andshe’dtellmenotto.ThenIwoulddoit
anyway,because,well,Ihaveterribleimpulsecontrol,andwhenwe’dgetbustedshe’dalwayssayitwas
heridea.Alwaysmyprotector.
Shesqueezesmyhand,stilllockedinhers.
Momrollshereyes,clearlynotbelievingher.Mygazegoestotheshadowbehindher.He’slooking
rightatme.Myheartjumpsintomythroat.Ican’tlookawayfromhim.Pandoragivesmyhandanother
hard squeeze, silently telling me to stop staring. Finally I drop my eyes from his, instantly missing the
connection.
“Fine. Your dad and I have a meeting tomorrow and will be working late. Your security will be
waitingoutsidetheschoolforthebothofyou.”
“Iwanttogoforarunafter,”Itellher.
I’vebeenstuckwithPandoraandhersecurityguardsinceIditchedmylastone.Dadmademestick
withPandora’ssecurityandgotridofmineforlosingmethelasttime.Ishouldhavefeltbad,buttheguy
totallygavemethecreeps.He’dalwaysfindwaystotouchme,andthetouchesstartedtolingeralittle
toolong.
Ilovemyfamily,butallofthemwanttokeepmeinBubbleWrap.Theyaren’tevenlikethiswith
Pandora.EveryonethinksI’mthesoftone,whichisprobablytrue.I’mnotintoself-defense,andIreally
don’t care about anything pertaining to safety and security. I’m into cooking, dressing up, dancing and
singingatthetopofmylungs.Andprobablyboys.Butaftertoday,I’mcrossingboysoffthatlist.Men.
Onemaninparticularisclimbingtothetopofthatlist.
“Well,you’re in luck.We found youa new bodyguard.” Mymom glances overher shoulder at my
newobsession,andmyheartratespikes.Icouldnotbethislucky.Iglanceoverandseehiseyesarestill
onme,butIcan’treadhisfacewithsolittlelight.“Penelope,thisisIvan.Idon’tthinkyou’llbeableto
losethisone.”
Mymomsmirks,andIhavetobitemyliptokeepfromsmiling.IvanismostdefinitelyamanIwon’t
trytorunfrom.
IhearPandoramumble“fuck”underherbreathashisdarkeyesnarrowonme.
ChapterTwo
Ivan
Itightenthelacesonmyshoesandthentuckmyknifeintothestrapatmyankle.Icoveritupwiththe
legofmyslacksandthenwalkovertotheclosettograbashirt.
I’vemovedintotheguesthouseattheJustices’,althoughitwouldbehardtoconsiderthisanything
butamansion.Therearetwootherpersonalbodyguardscoveringthefamily,buttheymaintainresidence
elsewhereandonlystaythenightoutherewhennecessary.
The guest quarters are within walking distance to the main house but still offer some privacy.
OriginallyIdidn’twanttomoveontotheproperty,butPaigesaidIowedher.Whichistrue.
IwasraisedinRenza,Russia,justoutsideMoscow.Ididlaborontherailwaysthereasayoungboy
untiloneoftheolderguyscamearoundonedaylookingforrunners.Ididn’tknowatthetimewhatthat
meant,butheofferedupmoney,andIknewexactlywhatthatwas.
My mother died during childbirth, and no one knew who my father was, so I was given to an
orphanage.IranawaywhenIwastenandfoundworkwhereIcould.TheplaceIranfromwasn’tlooking
tochasedownanothermouthtofeed,soIbecameachildofthestreetanddidwhatIcouldtosurvive.
I started off taking packages after I finished the rail work for the day, but eventually I was trusted
withmoredeliveries.ThemoneywasfarmorethanIcouldmakedoinganhonestday’swork,andback
then I needed to eat. It was all about surviving. I was loyal to those who treated me with even half an
ounceofdecency,butastimewenton,Ibegantohardenmyheart.LinesstartedtocrossandIstartedto
losemyself.
Yearswenton,andIbecameapartoftheRussianundergroundmafia.Theorganizationwasdirty,
and as much as I wanted to be loyal, I couldn’t do some of the things they asked me to. I didn’t have
anotherlifebeyondthismakeshiftfamily,andIdidwhatIcouldtosurvive.
But as with all men, power and greed began to take over, and the underground changed hands.
Dissentsimmeredintheranks,andeveryonewastryingtogetoffthesinkingshipbeforetheygotpulled
backin.IknewIdidn’twanttogodown,likeIsaid,everythingwasaboutsurviving,andmemberswere
beingkilledoffonebyone.Therewasnothinginthatlifeworthdyingfor.IknewIhadtogetoutanddid
whatIhadto.
TheonethingIdidhavewasinformation,anditwasuseful.Igotacodedmessagesenttomeatthe
perfect time, and I was ready for it. The contact wanted information on a deal that was taking place
betweenacorporategiantinAmericaandacountryinsouthernAsia.Theywereconcerneditcouldhave
potentialtiestotheRussianmafiaandtheywantedtheAsiancompanyvetted.
IagreedtoturnoverwhatIhadinexchangeforsafepassageoutofRussia.Iwantedtodisappear,
and this was the perfect opportunity. I could leave my homeland and have a simple life somewhere far
away.Ineverhaddreamsoffortuneorfame.Iwasonlyeverjustaboytryingtosurvivethewinter.My
choicesledmedownadarkpath,onethatatfirstIhadnochoicebuttotake,andIwasreadytostartover.
Ifoundoutmynamewasonashortlistofthosebeingterminatedfromtheoriginalunderground,soI
mademymove.MydeathwasstagedinanexplosionofawarehousethatIwaslivinginatthetime.The
scene was made to look like I’d been taken out by someone looking to make a name for himself in the
ranks.IfoundoutlaterthatthepersonwhoclaimedresponsibilitywassomeoneItrusted.Hewaskilled
twodayslater.
IarrivedinItalyaweekafterwithnothingbuttheclothesonmybackandaUSBdriveinmypocket.
MycontactatOsbourneCorporationhadbeentruetotheirwordandgottenmeacrosstheborders.
JordanChenwaswaitingformeatacafébytheseainGenoa.IgavehimalltheinformationIhad
andthensome.Hegavemeanewnameandpassport,butthenhegavemesomethingelse.
“What’sthis?”
“Anopportunity,”Jordansays,packinguphisstuff.
“SoIgofromonemastertoanother?”Iaskangrily.
“No.Youdon’toweusanything.AfterIwalkawaywe’redonehere.”Thereishonestyinhiseyes,
whichisacontrasttothescaronhisface.“Ifyou’reinterested,wecouldusesomeonelikeyouonthis
sideoftheworld.Itdoesn’thavetobeyou,butyou’reourfirstchoice.Plus,thepayisenoughforyou
toretireinayearortwo.”
Ihadn’tgivenmuchthoughttowhatIwasgoingtodonext.Mybiggesthurdlewasgettingoutof
thecountryundetected.
“Thinkitover.Whenyou’vemadeyourdecision,callthenumber.”
Ilookdownatthecardthat’sontopofthestackofpapers.ThenamePaigeJusticeisembossedin
gold,andhernumberisbelow.I’mnotpreparedtobecomesomeoneelse’swatchdog,butIdon’tknow
ifIcansayno.
So that’s what I’ve done the past five years. I’ve worked for Osbourne Corp International, vetting
companies they’re either interested in taking over or want to do business with. I’ve spent my time
followingbusinessmenanddiggingintotheirlives.It’seasyworkandalotmorelegalthanIeverwas
with the mafia. But just like before, it’s a lonely world, and I’m tired of the isolation. Something was
missingandIwasn’tsureIknewwhatitwas.Howcansomeonefeellonelyorunderstandwhatitreally
isifit’salltheyreallyeverhad?ButIfeltit.Icravedsomethingelse.DeepdowntomybonesIknewI
waslookingforsomethingorsomeone.
Last month I sent Paige a message telling her I wanted out. She said her husband Ryan had a
replacementwheneverIwasreadytogo.Iwasbothrelievedanddisappointedshedidn’taskmetostay
on. Although I knew I wanted a life of my own, I liked being needed. Even if it was a business on the
othersideoftheworld.
Tomysurprise,IgotamessagethenextdayfromPaigesayingthatIowedheronelastfavorand
askingmetocometotheStates.
I’dmetbothRyanandPaigeseveraltimesovertheyears.They’dcometoEuropeonvacationand
we’d end up talking business for hours. I respected the two of them and thought that they worked well
together as a team. There were also times I’d become jealous, seeing the love they shared, and had to
excusemyself.Itwasdifficulttobearoundtwopeoplewhoadoredoneanothersomuch,knowingthatI’d
neverfindthatkindoflovemyself.Awomanwhowantedme,whowassoftandsweet.AllIeverseemed
todrawinwerewomenwhowanteddarkness.WhothoughtIwouldberough.Itwouldmakemystomach
roll at the thought of something like that. I wanted the sweetness I saw between them. The love and
devotion.Notthepainanddarkness.
IdecidedthatI’drepaythedebtandgotoAmerica.AndwhenIarrived,theytoldmethatthey’dlike
metoprotectoneoftheirdaughters.Somethingthatsoundedsimpleenough.
Ifinishgettingdressedandmakemywaythroughthegardenthatseparatestheguestquartersfromthe
main house. I agreed to stay here for a trial period until we figure out something more permanent.
Penelopeisstilldecidingoncolleges,theysaid,andtheydon’twanttomakeanydecisionyet.
WhenIgettothebackofthehouse,Icatchaglimpseofheratthetablefrommypositionattheglass
doorsoutsidethekitchen.
AsifI’vespokenhernamealoud,sheturnstofaceme,andoureyeslock.Hergreeneyesarelike
nothingI’veseenbefore.Asweet,pureinnocencepoursoffherinwaves,touchingmedeepinmysoulin
aplaceIdidn’tevenknowwasthere.
Mychestfillswithwarmthasachillrunsfromthebackofmyneckdownmyspine.It’sexactlylike
lastnightalloveragain.
I’veneverfeltmorepowerlesswithonelook.
ChapterThree
Penelope
“Penny!”Theloudwhisperfrommysisterhasmeopeningoneeyetolookather.
“What?”Imoan,pullingthepillowovermyhead.
Idebatewhethertousethesametrickmyparentsdidwithuswhentheywentfromaking-sizebedto
afullsowecouldn’tsleepwiththemanymore.ThoughIwouldhavetogetatwintogetPandoraoutof
mine.
“I’mhungry.”Herwordscomeoutinapout.Idon’tevenhavetoseeherfacetoknowtheexpression
she’smakingrightnow.
“Andtheskyisblue.”Irolloverandpullthepillowoffmyhead,lookingatmyalarmclock.The
damn thing hasn’t even gone off yet. She’s always hungry “What the flip, Pan? It’s not even time to get
up.”Ithrowthepillowather.Shecatchesiteasilyandtossesitbackonthebed.
“Igottagoinearly.Forgottofinishupmypaperforarthistory,andIneedthosestupidbooksinthe
library.”
This isn’t shocking. Pandora hates homework. If she could skate by on tests she would be golden.
Thisyearwedidn’tgetanyofthesameclasses,soshedoesn’thavemeremindingheraboutwhat’sdue
anymore.
“Whatdoyouwant?”Iask,pullingmyselffromthebed.
“Baconandpancakes,”Ihearhersayfrombehindme.“Oh,andscrambledeggswith—”
“Iknowhowyoulikeyoureggs,”Itellher,cuttingheroff.I’vebeenmakingthisfamilybreakfast
almosteverymorningsinceIwasoldenoughtobeinthekitchenalone.
“Yourock!”sheyells,runningfrommyroomtogetready.
Imakemywaytothekitchenandstartbreakfast,andIworkonpackingeveryone’slunchatthesame
time.TodayImaketomatoturkeysandwicheswithasweetglazeonslicesoffreshbread.
“Sweetheart,”mydadgreetsme,comingintothekitchenandplacingakissontopofmyhead.
“Hey,Dad.Baconandpancakestoday,”Itellhim,handinghimaplate.
He gives me another kiss on the head before sitting down at the breakfast bar and digging in. My
momwalksinthekitchenafewminuteslater,andmydadisonhisfeet,pullingherchairoutforherthen
givingheradeepkiss.IrollmyeyesbutsmileasIgobacktopackingeveryonelunches.
MyparentscanbealittletooPDAformeattimes,butIwouldn’twantthemanyotherway.Mydad
andmomweremadeforeachother,andIhopeonedayIfindthat,too.AnimageofIvanfromthenight
beforefluttersthroughmymind,asdosomeofthedreamsI’dhadabouthim.MycheeksstarttoheatasI
rememberthem,particularlytheoneofhimkissingmeoverandoveragain.AndtheonewhereItracehis
tattoos,thoughtheimagesofthatonearefuzzy,whichmeansImightneedtogetabetterlookatthem.
I’mthankfulI’mnotfacingmyparentssotheycan’tseetheblushlightingupmyface.
“Lockitup.”
I jump, not realizing Pandora walked into the room. She’s eating a piece of bacon while her eyes
narrowonme.
“Don’tyouhavesomewheretobe?”Iglarebackather,handingherato-goplateshecaneatinthe
caronherwaytoschool.
“I’m watching you,” she mouths, and I have to bite back my retort: so what’s new? She takes the
plate from me before going over to my parents and telling them goodbye. She throws her hand up in a
waveonthewayout.
“Didsheforgettofinishsomething?”mymomasksme,andInod.
Dadchuckles.Theycan’treallygetmadather.Shemightnotlikeschool,butshe’salwayspulled
straightA’s.Webothdo,evenatoneofthetoughestprivateschoolsinthecountry.
Since we’re both great in school and don’t give them too much grief, our parents are pretty good
about giving us free rein as long as we keep a guard with us. Rules loosened up a lot since we turned
eighteen.AndthenwhenPandorapunchedEthan,aboyatpromwhotriedtokissme,thatgainedussome
morefreedom.Icringeatthememory.
IbetIvancouldtakeapunchandnotevencare.Hedoesn’tseemlikehewouldrunscaredafterlike
Ethan did. He was a nice enough boy, but I wasn’t ready for how handsy he was getting, and Pandora
knewrightaway.ThenIstarttowonderwhatitwouldbelikeifitwereIvanmakingthesamemoves…
“We’llbealittlelatetonight,honey,”Momsays,shakingmeoutofmyfantasy.Shecomesaround
andputsherdishinthesink.“Thankyouforbreakfast.”
“Willyoubehomeintimefordinner?”
“Don’tyouhavefinalstostudyfor?”sheasksasmydadcomestostandbehindher.Hewrapsan
armaroundher,andshemeltsintohim.
“Yeah,butcookingalwayshelpsmerelax,”Iremindher.IknowtheyalwaysfeelalittleguiltythatI
cookforeveryone,butIloveit.It’soneofmyfavoritethingstodo.That’swhyPandoraknewIwouldget
outofbedthismorningtomakehersomethingtoeat.
“You know I can’t turn down your cooking.” Mom leans in and gives me another kiss. “Do me a
favor,Penelope,anddon’tbehardonthenewguy.”Shelevelsmewithastare.
“Who,me?”Ibatmylashes,whichmakesmydadlaugh.
“Iwonderwhereshegotthisthingforditchingherguards,”DadsaysrightbeforeMomelbowshim.
Mydadfakeslikehe’shurt.“You’regoingtokissthatlater.”
“Okay, you two need to go to work,” I say, handing them their lunches. I don’t want to hear their
flirting.Dadgivesmeahugandanotherkissontheheadbeforeleavingthekitchen.Ismileastheydepart,
andthenIturnaroundtomakemyownplate.
Igrabmyphoneandstartupsomemusiconit.AfterIfindasongIlike,IstartdancingalittleasI
takeafewbitesofmyfood.IlookaroundthekitchentomakesureIhavestufftomaketacosfordinner
tonight,wonderingwhenIvanwillgethere.Assoonasthethoughtpopsintomyhead,Iturnaroundand
freezewhenIseehimstandinginthebackyard,staringatme.
My breath catches as our eyes meet. Today he’s in black slacks and a buttoned-up white collared
shirt.Thesleevesarerolledup,andIcanseeabitmoreofhistattoostoday.There’sstillsomuchofhim
that’shidden,butIthinkthat’spartoftheattraction.
Ican’tpullmyeyesfromhimashestartstomovetowardsme.I’mrootedinplaceashislong,thick
legseatupthedistancebetweenus.Hestopsattheglassdoorsthatlinethefarwallofourkitchen,then
heslidesthedooropenandletshimselfrightin.
Ilickmylipsasheclosesitandleansupagainstit.Hiseyesneverleavemine,andhedoesn’tuttera
word.Idon’tknowhowlongwestandthereuntilI’mfinallyabletopullenoughairintomylungstosay
something.
“Hungry?” I nod to the food that’s sitting on the kitchen counter. It’s not normal for us to have
leftovers,buteveryoneseemedtobeinahurrythismorning,sothere’splentyforhim.
“You’dfeedme?”Ivanasks,hisdarkeyebrowspullingtogetherasifhe’sconfused.It’sthenIhear
an accent that I think is Russian. His voice is seriously deep. Deeper than any voice I’ve ever heard
before.
“It’s kinda my thing. I feed people around here,” I tease, finding a little more of my voice again.
Jesus, what is wrong with me? I’m never tongue-tied when I’m around guys, but Ivan is different. He’s
headtotoeman,andthisinstantattractionissomethingI’veneverexperiencedbefore.
Hestepsfartherintotheroom,soIgrabaplateandservehimsomeofthefood.WhenIturnaround
he’sstandingrightbehindme.Ihavetolookupathim.Hisinscrutabledarkeyesarelockedonme.
“Sorry, there’s only one piece of bacon left. I’m shocked there’s even that,” I say, a little more
breathilythanImeanto.
Ifeelatugontheplate,andIletgo,knowinghegrabbedit.Idon’tlookdowntoseebecauseour
eyesremainlocked.
“Iwouldeatanythingyouservedme,”hesayssimply,andIfeelmyselfblush.
Thethoughtofotherthingshecouldeatentersmymind,andIhavetoturnaround.Idon’twanttoget
caughtthinkingofsuchadirtyimage,becauseIfeellikehecanreaditallovermyface.Oh.My.God.
Somethingiswrongwithme.
Istartcleaningupthekitchen,tryingtodistractmyselfwithsomething,anything.AsIgrabaplatein
thesink,hereachesout,takingitfrommyhand.
“Youcookedforme,Iwillcleanforyou.”
Ishouldprobablytellhimthatwehavesomeonewhocomesinanddoesthisforus.Iwasonlydoing
itbecauseIwastryingtostaybusyinanefforttonotmakeafoolofmyself.
“Perhapsyoushouldgetdressed.”
Hiseyestraveldownmybody,andembarrassmentfloodsme.It’sthenIrealizeI’minsleepshorts
thataremorelikeunderwearandaHarryPottershirtthatsaysI’muptonogoodIt’ssofadedit’salmost
seethrough.Atonetimeitbelongedtomymom,butIloveitsomuchbecauseIrememberherreadingthe
bookstoPandoraandmewhenwewerelittle.SheworeitallthetimeuntilIstoleitaboutfiveyearsago.
“Okay,”Iwhisper,andthenIactuallydosomethingmyguardtoldmetodo.Iturntoleave,buthe
grabsmywrist.Istopshortandstandthere,withhimholdingontome.Ilookintohisdarkeyes,andI’m
unabletomove.There’ssomuchtherethatIcan’tread,butIrecognizeonethingforsure.
“Areyouuptonogood,krasotu?”Thelowwordsrumblefromhischest,andtheyvibratethrough
me.
Ilickmylips,wonderingwhatthatwordmeans.I’msurprisedbyhisquestion.There’sanedgeof
dangerinit,anditdoesn’tfeellikehe’sonlyaskingasaconcernedguardlookingoutforme.
“Iguessyou’llhavetofindoutforyourself,”Iwhisperbeforepullingmyarmfromhimandleaving
theroom.
Ifeelhiseyesonmybackthewholetime,andIrememberwhatIsawthere.ItwaslikenothingI’d
everseenbefore,andIwantitagain.Nomanhaseverlookedatmelikethatbefore.
Withpuredesire.
ChapterFour
Ivan
Thiswasamistake.
IcanfeeltheburnofmypalmwhereItouchedhersoftskin.ThewayIreachedoutandgrabbedher
wasunlikeme.Itrynottotouchpeopleifpossible,andthereIwas,holdingontoherdelicatewristand
tryingtomakeherstay.She’shavinganeffectonmelikenothingI’veexperienced,andIdon’tknowifI
canhandleitbutIwantitlikenothingI’veeverwantedbefore.
She sits beside me silently as I drive her to school. It’s only the two of us, and the space feels
somehowintimate.Iwanttohearhertalkagain.Hervoicedoessomethingtome.It’slikeabalmonmy
soul.Idon’tcareifshejustreadsthedictionary.Iwanttohearhervoice.
“Howdoyouknowmyparents?I’veneverseenyoubefore.”
Thequestionbreaksthepeaceslingingthoughme,andthoughIhaveaneedtonotlietoher,Idon’t
knowhowmuchofthetruthI’mwillingtotellher.Ipauseforamomenttothinkofawaytophrasemy
answer,butshetakesthistomeanthatIwon’tanswer.
“Fine.ForgetIasked.”Shelooksoutthewindow,andIcanseehurtinherreflectionontheglass.
“Net. No.” I hurriedly switch from Russian to English. “I’m trying to think of a way to tell you
withoutrevealingwhatisconfidential,”Iadmit,onlywantingtogiveherthetruth.Lyingtosuchapure
soulseemswrong.
“Oh,” she says, turning to look at me. “You don’t have to if you can’t. I was just curious. You’re
differenttoalltheirother…choices.”
Ithinkabouttheotherguardsshe’sbeenaround,andItightenmygriponthesteeringwheel.Idon’t
likethethoughtofherbeingseensomuch,andbymenwhocouldoverpowerher.MaybeIshouldlook
intothepastmen.Idon’tseehowtheycouldhaveletheroutoftheirsightsoeasily.
“Ihelpedthemwithoverseascontracts.Iwasaninformant,”Ifinallytellher.
“Andyou’renotanymore?”sheasks.
“I’mheretoprotectyou.”Somethingaboutthosewordsmakespridefillmychest.Asifthisisthe
jobI’vebeentrainingmywholelifefor.I’verunwithdirtycriminalstolearnhowtoreadthem.I’vebeen
madeintoaweapontoprotectthisperfectcreatureI’msureeveryonewants,andonlyIcankeepthemall
atbay.It’smylife’sgoalandIwillnotfailinthis.Sheneedsmyprotection.Sheneedsme.Evenifit’sa
lie,thethoughtfillsmewithpride,mypastnotseemingsodirtybecauseI’vebeentrainingforthis.For
her.
She’squietforamoment,andthenIfeelhereyesonmeasIstareaheadattheroad.“Whatworddid
youcallmeinthekitchen?”
Iwanttocursemyselffortheslip,butIcannotdenyherwhatsheasksfor.“Beauty.”
There is another long pause at this admission, and I don’t know if she is offended by this or
welcomesit.
“What can I call you?” Her voice is quiet, but I hear the smile in it, and my heart brightens at the
thought.
“Ivan,”Isay,lookingoverandseeingthebrightnessofhergreeneyes.
“No,Imeanlikeanickname.”Shethinksforasecond.“Whatdoyourfriendscallyou?”
“Idon’thavefriends,”Ianswerhonestly
Sherollshereyesandhitsmyarmplayfully.“Okay,I’llbeyourfriend.Jeez.Stopbegging.”WhenI
smileather,alittleshadeofpinkrisesinhercheeks,anditissolovely.ThemostperfectthingIhave
ever seen. I never knew pink could be so beautiful. “All right, friend. What can I call you for a
nickname?”
“IsIvannotsufficient?”
Shetapsherfingeronherchinasifshe’sthinkingitover.“WhataboutsomethinginRussian?”
Thethoughtofhertryingtospeakthelanguageisbothcomicalandenticing.Iwouldlovetohaveher
undermeinthedarkandwhisperingwordsofseductiontoherinmymothertongue.Ihavetostopmyself
fromfollowingdownthatpathofthoughtsoritcouldleadtotrouble.
“Maybeonceyouthinkofsomething,Icouldteachyouthewords.”It’sthebestcompromiseIcan
offer.
“I’dlikethat.”Shelooksoutthewindowandpointstoaspace.“Youcanparkthere.Icanwalkfrom
here.”
“Iwillescortyou,krasotu.Pleasesit,andIwillhelpyouexitthecar.”Shelooksawayfromme,but
Iseethesmilepullingatherlipsbeforeshedoesit.
Iparkandthenwalkaroundthecartoopenherdoorandholdmyhandoutforhertotakeit.Ifeelthe
softness of her palm but also the heated beat of her heart. It matches my own, and something about that
makesmepossessiveofher.
Shestepsout,andthoughIamreluctanttoletgoofherhand,Ido.Igrabherbagandholditforher
as we walk onto the school campus. Large iron fencing marks the perimeter, and a courtyard sits just
beyondit.
“Okay,ifyoucomeinanyfarther,it’sgoingtolooklikeI’vegotababysitterinsteadofafriend.”She
smilesatme,andthereiskindnessinhereyes.“I’llbeatthatbenchforlunch,ifyouwanttojoinme.”
Shepointstoaspaceunderamapletree,andInod.
“Nopressure.Someofmyguardsdidn’twaitallday,butsomeofthemdid.Eitherway,I’llseeyou
righthereatthree.”
“Haveapleasantday,Penelope,”Isay,andshelaughsalittle.Ilovethesoundandwanttohearit
again.“DidInotsaythatright?”
“Youdid.Itwasjustkindofcute.YourEnglishisreallygood,it’sjustalittlebitproper.”
Inod,notwantingtoembarrassmyselfagain.
I hold out her bag, and she takes it from me. Our hands brush, and for a moment we stand there,
silent.Thefeelofherdelicateskinagainstmyrough,tattooedhandisunlikeanythingI’veexperienced.
She’sinnocentandpure,andI’mnothinglikethat.Thethoughtshouldmakemepullaway,butinsteadI
runmyindexfingeralongtheinsideofherwristandwatchasherpupilsdilate.Theblacktakesoverthe
deepgreenandIcanseethewantinhereyes.I’maffectingherjustasherpresenceispushingdownallof
mywalls.
Taking a step back, I break the connection and try to do what I know is right. I should keep my
distanceandthenexplaintoPaigethatIcan’tdothisjobanymore.ThatI’mcompromisedinsomeway
andcan’tbetrusted.Butthethoughtofherwithsomeoneelsethisclosetoherripsmyheartinhalf.Sheis
mine.IfeelitdeepdowninaplaceIdidn’tevenknowwasthere.
SoeventhoughIknowI’mnotgoodenoughforher,Ican’tallowhertoslipfrommygrasp.Iwant
somethinggoodinmylife.Thatcouldbeher.Thatwillbeher.ItryandreassuremyselfsoIcanlether
go.
Shewalksawayfromme,andthedistancethat’sgrowingismaddening.Iwanttowalkafterherand
have to talk to me more, have her ask me questions and tell me her most precious secrets. Instead of
chasingafterherIwalkbacktothecarandwait.
GlancingatmywatchIseethatIhavefourhoursuntilIcanbebyhersideagain.Thewaitisgoingto
beagonizing,butIwilldoit.Becauseevenasecondinherpresenceisworthhoursalone.
Nothinggoodcancomefrommygrowingobsession.YetIknowIwilldonothingtostopit.
ChapterFive
Penelope
I can’t seem to sit still as I fidget with the book I got from the school library. I’m not paying any
attentiontowhatmyeconomicsteacherissaying.Iwanttoopenthebookandlookthroughit,butIknow
Mrs.SmartenwillscoldmeifIdo.She’llprobablymakemegotothewhiteboardtoanswerquestions
shethinksImissed.God,Ican’twaittobeoutofhighschoolalready¸thoughIknowwhatwillcomenext.
Ipushthethoughtsofcollegeoutofmymind.Thelargestackofacceptancelettersarewaitingtobedealt
with,butIdon’twanttothinkaboutitrightnow.Atthismoment¸schoolisn’tanywhereonmyradar.
Iglanceoverattheclockforthetenthtimeinthepasttwominutes.Idon’tthinkI’veeverbeenthis
excitedforlunch,andIlovefood.That’sgottomeansomething.ButI’mnotconcernedwitheating.Ionly
want to see him again. I want to sit next to him and see how he responds to me. He’s so different than
anyoneI’veevermetbefore.
IbitemyliptokeepfromsmilingasIthinkabouthislittlenicknameforme.ThenIwonderifit’sa
Russiantermthateveryoneuses.Kindoflikeweuse“honey”or“sweetheart”inAmerica.Maybeheuses
it with a lot of people. Then again, I can’t see Ivan walking around calling things beautiful. I want the
nametobemineandnooneelse’s.
He broke a piece of my heart when he said he didn’t have any friends. Is it because he’s new to
America? I tried to lighten the mood by making a joke, but I actually don’t think that he cared that he
didn’thaveany.Itwasasifitwasnormalforhimtobealone.Ididn’taskhimifhehadfamily.Orawife.
Crap.
Whatifheisn’touttherewhenIgotolunch?Hedidn’tanswerwhenItoldhimwhereI’dbe. The
thoughtofhimnotshowingupmakesanemptinesstakeholdinsideme.Inallthetimewe’vehadguards
onus,I’veneverlikedit.Alwaysbeingwatched,alwayshavingeyesonmewasannoying.Iknewitmade
myparentsrelaxalittleandtheyweren’tsouptightwhenwehadourdetail,butIstillhadmomentsof
rebellionagainstit.
MyparentsrunthesecurityandprotectiondivisionatOsbourneCorporation.It’smyuncleMiles’s
business,butI’mnotsurewhattheydo.Somethingaboutinvestmentsandbuyingthings.Whateveritis,
he’smadealotofinternationalpurchases,andthatcansometimesmakepeopleangry.Mymomanddad
might be overly cautious, but they think it’s better to be safe. We’re all family, which means any of us
couldbeatarget.ThatincludesPandoraandourcousin,Henry.Nooneevergoesintodetailsaboutwhy
theyaresoprotective,butIthinktheremustbeastorybehindit.
AsmuchasIhatedmyguards,Iknewtheywereanecessity.EvenwhenIwasbusytryingtogive
themtheslip,Iwasn’tbeingreckless.MostofthetimeIjustwenthome.Butthethoughtofrunningfrom
Ivanisalmostridiculous.Infact,hereIsit,hopinghewillbetherewhenIgooutsidetohavemylunch.I
likehiseyesonme.Theylookatmewithheatedcuriosity,asifheisn’tsurewhattodowithme.
When the teacher finally dismisses us I almost trip over my own feet trying to get out of the
classroomasquickaspossible.WhenIhitthehallwayIseePandorastandinglikeshe’swaitingforme.
Shelikelywantstohavelunchtogether,somethingwedoafewtimesaweek.Theothertimesshespends
itinthelibrarydoingherhomeworksoshedoesn’thavetodoitwhenshegetshome.
“Hey,”Isay,tryingtoplayitcool,butsheshakesherheadandherponytailbouncesbackandforth.
Atschoolit’seasierforpeopletotellusapart.Wehavetowearuniforms,andgirlshavetheoptionof
slacksoraskirt.Iwearaskirt,butPandoraalwayswearsslacks.SheplaysdownherlookswhereasI’ve
alwaysbeentheonetodressup.IalmostcriedthedayIcouldfinallyfitintoourmom’sshoes.Icould
shamelesslydoawardrobechangefourtimesaday.
“Newguybringyoutoschooltoday?”
“Yep,”isallIgiveher.Becausesheknewtheanswertothequestionbeforesheevenasked.Pandora
andIbothhavehadourdriver’slicensessinceweweresixteen,butourparentsstillinsistonusbeing
drivenaround.
“Whereweeating?”sheasks.
“I’mguessingyou’reeatinginthelibrarytofinishyourarthistorypaper.”Ihaveafeelingshestill
isn’tdonewithit.Shecouldhaveputitoffuntilthelastsecond,butPandoracanbeaperfectionist,too.
Sowhatevershedidthismorning,she’llstillwanttogoover.
ShegrowlsinthesamewayMomdoeswhenDadmakeshermad.
“I’mstillwatchingyou,”shewarns,puttingtwofingerstohereyesandthenpointingthembackand
forthbetweenus.Irollmyeyes.
“Watch my backside.” I wink at her before turning around and moving towards where I hope Ivan
willbe.
“Penny,I’mseriouswiththisone.He’snotaboyyoucantoywithlikehereaschool.”
Iturnaroundandglareatherbecausepeoplelikelyheardherinthehallway.“Loveyou,Pan,butI’m
eighteen.You’renotalwaysgoingtobearoundtowatchmyeverystep.”
“Iloveyou,too,”isallshesays,shakingherheadandwalkingaway.
Iknowherwordsweremorethanloveandaffection.They’realsoareminderthatshedoeswhatshe
does because she loves me. I feel the same, but I have to be able to break away and make my own
choices.Ican’tstayintheBubbleWraptheywanttokeepmeinforever.
Pulling my phone out of my bag, I see I have a text from my dad telling me to have a great day,
followedbyabunchofemojis.Ismiledownatmyphoneandsendoneback.
IstopwhenIrunintoawall.Notawall,actually,justaverybigman.MyeyestraveluptoIvan’s
face.Hishandsarelockedonmyshoulders,keepingmefromfallingonmyass.Ismileevenbiggernow
thathe’shere.
“Hi,”Isay,andtrytomoveinalittleclosertohim.Hisdarkeyestraveldownmyfacetothephone
inmyhand.
“Whatwasmakingyousmile,”hefinallysays,noddingtowardsthephone.“Wasitaboyfriend?”he
asksashiseyesnarrow.Thenhebeginstoglancearoundus.“Doeshegohere?”Thatquestionsounds
likeathreat,likeiftherewereaboyfriend,he’dtakecareofit.
Mysmilewidensfurther.IlikehisjealousysomuchmorethanIshould.NowIknowwhatitmeans.
Helikesme.Icantellfromthesparkinhiseyesthathiscommentisn’taboutprotectingme.
“I’m smiling now because you came to have lunch with me.” He fixes his gaze on me again, no
longerlookingformynonexistentboyfriend.“Before,itwasmydad.Helikestosendgoofymessagesto
Pandoraandmethroughouttheday.”
Thelinesaroundhismouthease,andIseetensionleavehisbody.Henodsthenreachesout,taking
mybagfromoffmyshoulderandmyphonefrommyhand.
“Yourlunchbreakisn’tlong,andyoumusteat.”HelooksovertothebenchI’dtoldhimabout,andI
slipmyarmintohis.
Hisbodyfreezesforamoment,andhestaresdownatme,surpriseonhisface.
“No boyfriend,” I tell him. “Do you have a girlfriend? A wife?” I swear I stop breathing at my
question.
“Net.”
I feel myself relax. I notice my reaction is the same one he had when I told him I didn’t have a
boyfriend.
“Ifindthathardtobelieve,”Iteasehim,pullinghimovertowardsthebenchandsittingdown.Itake
mybagfromhim.
“Itisnothardtobelieve.I’veneverhadagirlfriendorawife.”
I still at his words, then drag my eyes from him and dig in my bag for my lunch. “Do you have a
family,Ivan?”
“Net,”hesayseasilyasheinputsthecodetounlockmyphone.Iwouldaskhowheknowsthecode,
butIdon’t.Withafamilythatworksinsecurity,Iknownothingisreallyprivate.ButIdon’tcareaboutmy
phone right now. I’m still ruminating on the ease with which he told me he doesn’t have a family. No
emotioncrossedhisfacewhenhemadethatconfession.
“Idon’thaveyournumber,”Itellhim,finallygettinghimtolookawayfrommyphone.“WhatifI
needyouandIcan’tgetaholdofyou.”
“IwillneverbefarenoughawayfromyouthatyoucouldyellmynameandIwouldn’thearyou.”
“ButwhatifIwanttosaysomethingtoyouthatIdon’twantanyonetohear.”Islidealittlecloserto
him.Helooksbackdownatthephone,andIwatchhimprogramhisnumberin.
“Youcancallmeanytimeyoulike,”hesays,handingmemyphoneback.Islideitintomybag,andI
openupmylunch.
“Doyoutrackmeonthephone?”Iask.
Idon’tknowwhyIask,becauseIalreadyknowtheanswer.ButforsomereasonIwanttohearhim
sayhedoes.IthinkI’mlosingit.SomethingthatdrovemecrazydaysagoisnowsomethingIwant.
“Da,”heconfirms,buthedoesn’tseemtolikehisownanswer.“Idonotlikecellphonetracking.I
don’tthinkitworksaswellasothers.”
Iopenmysandwichandtrytohandhimhalf,butheshakeshishead.
“ButImadeit.Didn’tyoulikeyourbreakfast?”
“ItwasthemostwonderfulmealI’veevereaten.ButIwillnoteatyourlunch.Youneedtoeatit.”
Ilovehissweetanswerandevenfeelmyselfblushalittlethathelikedmycooking.“Please.Just
half a sandwich.” I give him the little pout that works on my family, and watch his eyes go wide for a
second.
“If it pleases you,” he says before taking the sandwich from me. I open my container of fresh-cut
applesandcaramelandsititbetweenus.
“Arethereotherwaysyoucouldtrackme?”
Hissandwichstillshalfwaytohismouth.“Youwouldletme?”Hiseyeslightupabit,andheseems
excitedattheidea.
“I’m not saying no,” I tell him, taking a bite of my sandwich. He does the same, and I can see his
mindworkingasifputtingsomethingintoplayalready.
Iwatchhimeat,unabletostoplookingatthetattoosonhishands.IreachouttotouchonebeforeI
thinkbetterofit.HefreezesatmytouchonhisbareskinandtwitcheslikeI’vehurthim.
“Doesthatbotheryou?”Iask,tracingoneofthetattoosonhishand.Helooksasifhe’ssearchingfor
ananswer,ormaybehedoesn’twanttogivemeone.“Youflinched,”Isay,pushingforsomething.
“I’musedtopainwhensomeonetouchesme.”Onceagainhesaysitsoeasily,likeit’snobigdeal.
It’sthenIknowIvan’slifeisdarkerthanIeverthoughtpossible,andsomethingaboutthatmakesmewant
totouchhimmore,slideevencloser,showhimthatisn’ttrueandthatthereissoftnessinthisworld.If
youaskedmyfamily,theywouldsayI’mthedefinitionofit.
“I’dneverhurtyou,”Itellhim.
“Ithinkyoucouldhurtmemorethananyoneeverhas.”
My eyes snap to his and we stare at each other. I feel the warm breeze on my cheeks and the sun
shiningbetweenus.Hisagonizeddarkeyesareastarkcontrasttowhat’shappeninginsideme.Ifeelasif
I’mcomingalive,burstingintobeing.
“Peoplearewatching.Theydon’tthinkyoubelongwithme,”hewhispers.
Ilookaroundtheschoolandseehe’sright.Peoplestareatus,buttheyhavetoknowhe’sallowedto
behere.Noonegetsonschoolgroundswithoutgoingthroughtheproperprotocol.
“It’stimetogetbacktoclass,krasotu.I’llbewaitingforyouafter.”
ChapterSix
Ivan
It’safterthreeinthemorningandIcan’tsleep.Mybodyisusedtoit,though.Inormallyonlyneeda
couple of hours and I’m able to function. But I can’t pretend the reason I’m awake isn’t the green-eyed
beautywhosleepsnotsofaraway.
Irunmythumbacrossmyphonescreenandstareatthemessagesshesentme.
WhenIdroveherhomeafterschool,hersisterwastherewaiting.PandoraandIhaven’tspoken,but
Iseethewayshelooksatme.She’ssmart,andsheknowshertwin.Ikeptmydistanceanddidn’tinteract
with Penelope all evening. I went outside and only watched her from afar until Paige and Ryan came
home.AfterwardsIwenttotheguesthouseandworkedoutinthegymthere.
AroundelevenIgotthefirstone.
Penelope:Youstillawake?
Me:Da.
Penelope:Youdidn’tsaygoodbye.
Me:Imadesureyouweresafe.
Penelope:That’snotthesamething.
Me:Iwillsaygoodbyetoyoufromnowon.
Penelope:You’reveryagreeable.;)
Me:Foryou,Iwouldagreetomanythings.
Penelope:Sendmeapicture.
Me:Almostanything.
Ismileatthewords,knowingtheycamefromher.
I push out of bed and walk down the hall to the gym again. If I can’t settle my mind, I’ll hone my
body.Theroommusthavebeentwobedroomsatonepoint,butadividingwallwastakendowntocreate
a large workout space. Floor-to-ceiling windows span the length of the room, showing a view of the
gardenseparatingmyhousefromthemainone.Rightnow,it’sbathedinmoonlight,andthoughitshould
beeerie,it’speaceful.
Idon’tturnontheoverheadlight.InsteadIlettheglowofthemooncastshadowsacrosstheflooras
Iwalkbarefootovertothepull-upbars.I’mdressedonlyinblackboxerbriefs,butIdon’tneedanything
elseforwhatIplanondoing.
Iwalkovertothelongsteelbeamandjumpup,grippingitwithbothhands.Myfeetaremaybean
inch off the ground and I’m only about a foot from the window. I spread my hands wide, working the
muscles in my back and shoulders more. I begin to pull my body up, the burn across my chest and abs
tightening.Icountout,andafterabouttwentyIfeelthesweatstarttotrickledownmyspine.Ishouldstop,
butIkeeppushingmyself,willingtheimageofthosegreeneyestostophauntingme.Igritmyteethand
grunt,lookingbeyondtheglassandintothetrees.
IstallmyselfhalfwayintothenextrepwhenIcatchaglimpseofsomethingmoving.Iletgoofthe
baranddropdowntomyfeet,scanningagaintoseewhatitwas.Itmayhavebeenananimaloratrickof
thelight,butIcouldhaveswornIsawaflashofred.
Stepping up to the glass, my heavy breath fogs up the view. I wait for what seems like a long
moment, watching the steam disappear, and as it lifts, I spot her. She’s on the edge of the trees that
separatetheyards,sittingontheedgeofthesmallfountain.Herdarkredhaircascadesdownherback,
andherbareshoulderglowsinthemoonlight.She’swearingatanktopwithshorts,andherlong,creamy
legsaretuckedunderher.Icanseetheedgeofherdelicatetoes,andIlickmylips.Anache,deepinside
me,longstokissherthere,tokisseverylittlecurveofherbodyandcaressthehiddensecretsbeneathher
clothes.I’veneverwantedsomethingsoinnocentformyself.BeforePenelope,Iwouldn’thavedaredruin
somethingsoperfectandpure,butmydesireforherisoutweighinganyhonorIheld.
Ipressmyhandstothecoolglassandwhispertheonlynamesheshouldeverbecalled.Krasotu.As
ifshehearsme,sheturnsherhead,andhereyessearchforme.Shecan’tpossiblyseemeinthedark,but
inmyheartIhopethat’swhatshe’sdoing.
Afteramomentsheturnsaway,andIacheforhereyestobeonmeagain.Iwanttofalltomyknees
andbeghertolookatmeforalleternity.Ishouldn’twanther,Ishouldn’tfeelpaininmychestatthemere
thoughtofher.ButIamuncontrolledwhenitcomestoher,andIcan’tstopmyself.
Iturnandgotomyroom,grabbingaT-shirtandapairoflooseshortsontheway.Thecottonclings
tomybodyasitsoaksupthesweat,butIdon’thavetimetostopandthinkaboutit.Ihurry,thinkingthatif
sheisadream,anymomentshe’lldisappearintothenightandI’llbeleftwithaholeinmychest,aspace
onlyshecanfill.
BythetimeImakeitoutside,myfeetarewetfromthedampgrass.It’sthenInoticeIforgottoput
shoeson.Idon’tbothertogobackandgetthemasIwalkaroundtothefountain,anxioustoseeifshe’s
stillthere.
Likeawishfromadream,she’sinthesameplace.Thesoftlightacrossherbodyonlyhighlightsher
beauty.
“It’slate,”Isay,breakingthequietofthenight.
Shegaspsandturnsaround,asifshockedtoseemestandinghere.“Whatareyoudoinghere?”
Her words are not cruel, but they still cut me. Does she not wish for me to be near her? Maybe
comingoutsidetojoinherwasamistake,eventhoughallofmyinstinctsdemandedIgotoher.
“Sorry,”shesays,shakingherhead.AsifsheknowswhatI’mthinking,shesmoothsoverherwords.
“Imean,howareyouhere?Youlooklikeyougotoutofbed.Butyou’resweaty.”
Hereyesroamdownmyshirtandthentomyfeet.Herslowperusalofmemakesmewanttoflexmy
chesttoimpressher,likesomelioninthewildpreeningforhismate.Iwanthertofeeldesirewhenshe
seesme.
Icanseethebaresthintofablushashergazelingersonme,thensheliftshereyestomeetmine.
Itakeafewstepscloserandwalkovertothefountainandsitontheedgewithher.Notcloseenough
totouchbutcloseenoughthatmychestisn’thurting.
“YourparentsinsistedIstayintheguesthouse.Atleastuntiltheendofyourschoolyear.”
“Oh.”Sheturnsherheadtolookinthedirectionofthehouse.ShestaresattheexactspotwhereI
wasstandingbefore,andIseehereyesnarrow.Shelooksbacktome,butshedoesn’tsayanythingfurther.
“Shouldn’tyoubesleeping?”Iask,andIseeasmallsmilepullatherlips.
“Icouldn’t.”Sheshrugs.“Ihadalotonmymind.”BeforeIcanaskherwhat,sheturnsthequestion
tome.“Whyareyouawakesolate?Shouldn’tyoubesleeping?”
“Idon’tsleepmuch.”Ireachout,runningmyfingersthroughthecoolwaterofthefountain.“Iwas
workingoutandIsawyou.”
WhenIlookatheragain,Iseeherlickherbottomlipandbiteitbeforenodding.Thepainisback,
butthistimeit’slowerthanmychest.Muchlower.
“You didn’t send me a picture.” Her playful smile makes my blood race, and I want to give her a
thousandpictures,anythingtokeepthatlookonherface.“MaybeIshouldtakeonenow.”
“It’stoodark,”Isay,lookingaround,tryingtofindawaytocontrolmybody.
Iseeherphonebesideherandwatchasshepicksitupandpointsitatme.Idon’tlookatthecamera,
though.Ionlylookather.Herlongredhairoveroneshoulder,theedgeofherjawandhighcheekbones.
She’smorebeautifulthananypaintingI’veeverseen,andIcouldstareatherforeternity.
“There. Now I can add your face on my contacts. I hate not having a picture to go on the little
bubble.”
“Bubble?”Iask,confusedbyherstatement.
“Yeah,here.”
Shescootsoverrightnexttome,thesideofherbodypressedfirmlytomine.IfIweretowrapmy
armaroundher,shewouldbeenvelopedinme,blanketedinmyscent.Somethingprimalinsidemysoul
wishesforthis,wantstorubmybodyagainsthersinawaythatmarksherasmine.Ihavetoclosemy
eyestightlytocollectmyself.
“See, all my contacts have pictures, and before, yours was just a little white bubble. Now there’s
you.Well,adarkyou,butstill.Itworks.”
“It’s not safe for you out here tonight, krasotu.” The words are out of my mouth before I can stop
them.Butthatdoesn’tmakethemanylesstrue.
“Why?Ourbackyardisn’tsafe?”Shelooksaroundskepticallyandthenbacktome.
Idon’tknowhowtotellherthatI’mthethreat.ThateverythingaboutherispullingmeinandIdon’t
know how much longer I can control myself. There is a need building, and I can feel the charged air
aroundmegrowstill.Thereisonlyonewaytostopthismadness,andit’stopushherfromme.Imustput
anendtothesmilesshegiftsme.Idon’twanttohurther,butIknowmywordswill.
“You are a young woman, and you have no business being out this late. Your parents would
disapprove,andasyoursecurity,Idemandyouleavehereandgobacktoyourroom.”Istandupandtake
astepawayfromher.
The pain that flashes across her eyes is almost enough to break me. I open my mouth to take it all
back,butshestandsupandputsevenmoredistancebetweenus.
“Nobodyaskedyoutocomeouthereandtellmewhattodo.Iwasfineuntilyoushowedup.”
“Thatmakestwoofus,krasotu.”
Sheclenchesherjaw,andIlongtorunmythumbacrossit,toeasethepainI’vecausedherandto
tellherthisisonlytoprotecther,toprotectthebothofus.ButIdon’t.InsteadIremainwhereIstand,
begginghersilentlytorunfromme.
“Don’tcallmethat.”Herwordsaresharpassheturnsandwalksaway.Buthalfwaytothehouse,
shelooksbackoverhershoulder.Sheopenshermouthtospeakbutchangeshermind.
I would give everything in my possession to undo what I just did. I have more money than most
peopledreamof,butitmeansnothingtome.TheonlythingthatmattersisthelightinPenelope’seyes,
andasshewalkedawayIsawitfade.Apieceofmewantedthistohappen,knowingitwasforthebest.
Buttherestofmeisscreaminginagony.
AsIwalkfromthefountainandbackintotheguesthouse,Ithinkaboutthelookonherface.Thelight
inhereyesthatIlovehaddimmed,butitwasn’tgone.Itwasn’tfinished.AndasIgetintobedandread
ourearliertextexchange,IknowthatI’mnot,either.
ChapterSeven
Penelope
“Whatareyoudoing?”Pandoraasksasshewalksintoherbedroom.Shedropsherbagonthefloor
andbooksspillout.
I’m running on her treadmill. Running always clears my mind, but today that doesn’t seem to be
working. The hole that I’ve felt in my stomach won’t seem to close. I feel like I’m a ball of anxious
nerves,andIdon’tknowwhattodowithanyofit.I’malwaysthehappyone.Ineverletanythinggetme
down.Buttodaysucked,andIcan’tkeeponthefakesmileI’vebeenrockingallday.I’vetriedtopretend
Ivan’swordsdidn’tbotherme,actlikeIdidn’tletamansoeasilytakemyheartandcrackit.
“What does it look like I’m doing?” I snap. She raises her eyebrows and holds her hands up in a
silentquestion.Iknowwhatshe’sasking.Shelikestorunonthetreadmill,andIloverunningoutside.But
goingoutsidemeansIneedtotakemyguardwithme,andI’vebeenavoidingIvanalldayasbestIcan.
WhenhewaswaitingtotakemetoschooltodayIdidn’tslideintothefrontseat.Iwentstraightfor
theback,evensittingbehindhimsoIcouldn’tseehimaswell.SoIcouldn’tstareathistattoosandtrace
themwithmyeyes.SoIwouldn’ttrytoreachoutandtouchhim.Ididn’tsayawordwhenIsteppedpast
himintotheschoolbuilding.Iremainedquietthewholetime,whichisveryunlikeme.
Though I did go look to see if he was at the bench today at lunch. He was, so I stayed inside and
wenttothecafeteria.Whywasheatthebench?He’dmadeitclearlastnightthathewasbetteroffwithout
meinhislifeandthathewasfinebeforeIenteredit.Ithoughthelikedme.Itdoesn’tmakeanysense.The
worst part is that for some reason I thought this man would never hurt me. He’s a protector, but he let
himselfcausetheharm.Theachestilllingersstrongwithnosignsoflessening.
Somethingabouthimdrewmetowardshim.Ifeltlikeheneededme.Iwantedhimtoneedme.
“Youreadytotalkaboutitnow?Iseeyou’vedroppedthatfakesmile,”Pandorasays,floppingdown
onthebed,clearlyseeingthroughmyacttodaythoughshehadn’tcalledmeonituntilnow.
Ipullthestringonthetreadmillandjumpoff.Pandoramovesoveronthebed,andIfallbacknextto
her.Herhandslidesintomine.
“Hedoesn’tlikeme,”Itellher.
“Bullshit.Everyonelikesyou.Sometimesit’salittleannoying.”
Pandora isn’t a people person. I walk into a room and talk to everyone. She avoids everyone like
theyhavetheplague.
Irolltomyside,lookingather.“HowcomethefirstguyIwant—”
Pandoracocksaneyebrowatme.
“Okay,okay,Imeanreallywant—more than flirting and school or whatever, really want—doesn’t
evenwanttobearoundme?”
Maybeit’skarma.Pandoraalwaysjokedthatonedaysomeonewasgoingtobreakmyheart.
“Ihavenoidea,tobehonestwithyou.Ican’treadhim.Heseemstoalwayshaveablankscowlon
hisface.ButIhaven’tbeenaroundhimmuch.”
Idropbackdownonthebed,lookingupatthewhiteceiling.
“It’sforthebest.”Shesqueezesmyhand.“Penelope,thatmanisdark.He’sbeenthroughshit.I’m
surethatifhetoldyouaboutityou’dcryandbesadforweeks.You’resoftandsweetandallheart.You
needsomeonewhocangiveyouthosethingsback.”
“Itouchedhimtheotherdayandheflinched.Hesaidheonlyknowspainfromtouch,”Itellher.
“Fuck,”shemumbles.
“MomandDadwouldn’tbringhimaroundusiftheythoughthewasbad.”Idon’tknowwhy,butI
stillfeeltheneedtoprotecthim,standupforhim.
“I’mnotsayinghe’sbad.I’msayinghe’sbroken.”Sheknocksmyshoulderwithhers.“Imean,hehas
tobebroken,becausenomancaneverwithstandyourcharms.”
Ican’thelpthesmalllaughthatescapesme.
“MomandDadheadoutfordatenight?”Iask.TheyalwaysdodatenightonFriday.Inevercookon
thosenights,soPandoraandIjustsnackonstuffinsteadofmakingawholemeal.
“Yep,”sheconfirms.
Isitup,lettinggoofherhand.
“No,”shesaysbeforeIcanevengetoffthebed.
“Comeon.Ineedsomethingtogetmeoutofthisfunk.”AlsotokeepmedistractedsoIdon’tkeep
checkingmyphoneinhopeshewilltextme.Tellmehedidn’tmeanwhathesaid.Askmetocometothe
backyard.
“No,”shesaysagainflatlyanddoesn’tmove.
Iputmyhandsonmyhipsandstareather.“Thisisgoingoneoftwoways.”
“Fuckingshit,”shemumbles,sittingup.Iwanttogooutanddosomething,andIclearlydon’twant
Ivanaround.Sheknowsthat.Sothatmeanswe’resneakingout.Shecancomewillinglyorshe’llfollow
me.Butwebothknowshe’snotlettingmegoalone.
“Fine.”Sherollsoffthebedandstandsup.“Dancing?”sheasks,andIseeasmallsmilepullather
lips.Shepretendstohatewhenwegodancing,butshelovesit,andwehaven’tbeeninawhile.
“God,it’sbeenforever.”Ismile,feelingalittlelighter.
PandoraandIhavealwayslovedtodance.Idon’tthinkwe’reanygoodatit,butweliketojump
aroundandsingasloudaswecantothemusic,andneitherofuscareifwemakefoolsofourselves.
“Okay,I’mgettingready!”Ihalf-scream,runningfromherroomexcitedly.
“Seeyouintwohours,”Pandoragrumbles,makingmelaugh.
“I’llbefast,Ipromise.It’salreadyten,”Ishoutfromtheotherroom,flingingopenmyclosetdoors.
IgrabagraydressthatIknowwilllookgreatwithmyhair.Itossitonthebedthenrunoutofmy
roomandtowardsmymom’s.IburstoutlaughingwhenIseePandoraalreadyinMom’sclosetholdingup
apairofblackknee-highboots.
“Mine.”SheholdsthemtoherchestlikeImightsnatchthemfromher.
“I’mgoingforthese.”IgrabapairofblackMiuMiusthathavediamondsontheheels.They’llnot
onlybeeasytodanceinbutwillalsogoperfectlywithmydress.
Iturn,dashingbacktomyroomandtossingtheshoesnexttothedress.Pullingmyhairup,Itakea
quickshowerandthengetout,rushingtogetready.Itoweloffandpullmyhairdown.Idon’tneedtodo
muchwithit.Iapplysomemakeupthenslipfromthebathroomandthrowonamatchingstraplessbraand
panties.
Pandoraopensmydoor,leaningagainsttheframeasIpullthedressovermyheadandstraightenit
out.It’sGrecian-styleandtiesononeshoulderandbunchesatthehip,butitmanagestohugmycurves
perfectly.AfterIputmyshoeson,IturntolookatPandora.She’sdressedlikealways.Exceptforwhen
she has to wear a school uniform, she’s always in all black. Black boots, tight black pants, and a tight
blacktee.Iknowwelookthesame,butIalwaysfeellikeblackdoesnothingforme.Butwithher,Iswear
itmakeshereyesevenbrighterandherhairamorevividcolor.
“Youlookhot,”Itellher.Sheshrugslikeshedoesn’tcareifshedoesornot.
“Thatdressisshort.”
Idothesameshrugshejustdid.Itisalittleshort,butIdon’tcare.Ilookatmyselfinthemirror,and
Pandoracomestostandnexttome.
“NowayaretheygoingtoIDus,”Isay,lookingoveratherforconfirmation.
“Letmegofirstwhenwegetthere.”
“Gotoneinmind?”Iask.Shealwayshasaclubshewantstogoto.
“Yep,”isallshesays,makingmesmile.
“Let’sdothis.”
Ipulloutmyphoneandcallforacar.WemakeourwaybacktowardsPandora’sroomandgointo
the bathroom. Pandora slides the little window open and jumps out easily. I take my heels off and toss
themoutthewindowthenclimbup.Shehelpsmejumpdown,andit’slikewe’vedonethisathousand
times.Maybewehave.
Pandora’scrazyasssomehowfiguredouthowtodisablethealarmonherbathroomwindowawhile
back,andnoonehasseemedtonotice.Wemakeourwayalongthehouseandhurrywhenwegettothe
driveway. I pull out my emergency gate key and slide it in, then Pandora and I grab and pull open the
heavygate.Weopenitjustenoughtoslipoutbeforelockingitagain.Wehurrydownthestreet,wherewe
seeourcarwaitingatthecorner.
We jump in, giggling, and I yell at the driver, “Go, go, go!” I’m acting like someone is actually
chasingus.Hetakesoff,andthetiressqueal,makingusburstoutlaughingagain.
“TakeustoSin.”Pandoragiveshimtheaddressofourfavoritedanceclub,andIsitback,relaxing.
Itdoesn’ttakelongtogetintothecity,thenwe’reslippingoutofourcar.Pandoragrabsmyhandas
shestrutstothefrontoftheline.Shewalkswithconfidenceandpurpose.Thebounceratthedoorliftsthe
cordandopensthedoorforus,lettingusin,withoutcomment.
“Howdoyoudothat?”Iwhisperovertoher.
“Youactlikeyouowntheplace.Besides,twinsdressedupforanightout?They’relettingusin.”
Irollmyeyes,butshe’sprobablyright.Menhavecreepytwinfantasies.
Aswemakeourwaydownalonghallway,themusicgrowslouderandlouder.Wedon’tstopfora
tableorevengotothebarforadrink.Weheadrightforthedancefloor.It’stheonlyreasonwe’rehere.I
letthethrummingbasstakeme,butmymindstillfixesonwhatIvanmightbedoingrightnow.
ChapterEight
Ivan
Itdidn’ttakemelongtofollowher.I’dbeenwatchingthehouseeversincePaigetextedmethatshe
andRyanweregoingonadate.ShesaidPandorahadthealarmoffonthewindowinherbathroom,soif
theyplannedonsneakingout,that’sthewaytheyweregoing.
WhenIaskedherwhyshedidn’tputthealarmon,shesaiditwaseasiertowatchonewindowthan
alltheotherexitsinthehouse.
Igotdressedaftermyworkoutandputonapairofdarkgrayslacksandabutton-upshirt.Iwentand
satoutsidethegateinmyblackPorsche911,waitingtoseewhatwouldhappen.Itonlytookabouttwo
hours before I watched the girls sneak out of the gate and make a run for it down to the waiting cab. I
caughtsightofPenelopelaughingandmychestwarmedinstantly.
AsIfollowedthematadistance,IthoughtaboutwhyI’msodrawntoher.I’vebeenarounddarkness
anddirtmostofmylife.TherewereoccasionswhenImetpeoplewhowerekind,butmoreoftenthannot,
Ikepttomyself.Iknewtheshadowsandclungtothem.ButthesecondIlookedatPenelope,Isawlight
forthefirsttime.Shewasn’tonlyinnocentandpure.Shewasuntouchedinhersoul.Iknewbylookingat
herthatIwouldnevermeetanotherwomanwiththiskindofloveradiatingfromher.
I’dneverseeneyeslikehersstaringbackatme.Theywereemeraldssparklingwithtruth,andthey
sawstraighttomycore.Sheneverflinchedatwhatshefoundinthere.Shetouchedme,andIfeltlikeshe
castaspell.Thewarmthspreadtoeveryinchofmybody,coatingmeinherprotection.
WasIreallytheonetryingtokeepherfromdanger?Howcouldsheundomelikethisandstillmake
mefeellikeshe’sholdingmetogether?It’sinexplicable,butIwanttoclingtoherlight.
Iwatchasthegirlsentertheclubwithoutbeingcarded.Ipulluptothecurb,tossmykeystothevalet
andsliphimabill.“Keepitclose,”Isayinhisearasheglancesdownatthehundred,andnods.
The bouncer lets me in with the same courtesy he extended the twins. I try not to think about how
manyotherunderagepeopleheletsinhere.
Themusicisloud,andalmostimmediatelyit’sdeafeningmysenses.Iignoreitandscanthecrowd
asIblendintothecornersoftheroom.Idon’twanthertoknowI’mhere,butIwanttomakesureshe’s
safe.
Ittakesonlyasecondtospottheredheadsonthedancefloor.It’scrowded,buttheydancetogether
andpeopleleavethemalone.
Igritmyteethwhenthecrowdclearsenoughformetoseewhatshe’sgoton.Herdressissoshortit
nearlyexposesthebottomcurveofherass.Iwalktothebar,whichhasadirectview,andorderashot.
Shelovestodance.
HersmallbodymoveswiththedarkbeatofthebassasIthrowbackashotofvodka.Thereisno
burnastheliquidwarmthhitsmytongueandmeltsdownmythroat.IclenchtheglassbecauseIcan’tput
myhandswhereIwantthem.
Theseductivecurveofherwaistasitcascadestotheflareofherhips…Iwatchtransfixedasthey
movesidetoside.Sidetoside.Herbodyislikethependuluminsideagrandfatherclock,andIcan’tlook
away.
Themusicisdeafening,butifsheweretosimplywhispermyname,Iwouldbeatherfeet,begging
totouchwhatIshouldn’t,tastewhatdoesn’tbelongtome,runmyhandsalongthesweetinnocenceshe
tauntsmewith.AninnocenceIshouldn’twantbutcrave.Somethingsopureanduntouchedlikenothing
I’veeverknownbefore.
Slamming the glass down on the bar, I’m both disappointed and relieved when it doesn’t break.
MaybethecutoftheglasscouldcoolthefeelingsIhavepulsingthoughmebutIdoubtit.Notwithher.
I’mnotsureanythingevercould.Iwouldwelcomeapainthat’sgreaterthanmyacheforher.Forthereis
nothingmorepowerfulthanthespellshehasmeunder.
I’vebeenhiredtoprotecther.
ButasIpushawayfromthebarandwalktowardsher,Ican’thelpbutthinkthatperhapssomeone
shouldhaveprotectedherfromme.
IwatchasPandorastepsawayfromherandgoestothebarontheothersideandgrabsabottleof
water.Sheleansupagainstthebar,watchinghersisterasshecatchesherbreath.Penelopestilldances,
andIcan’tstandthedistanceanymore.
Thephysicaldistancebetweenusnow,andthedistanceIputbetweenuslastnight.Ihatedhowshe
was so cold to me today. It made me miss every part of her, every look in her eyes. I can’t have her
keepingthatfromme.
IseePandora’sfacewhenshespotsme,andsheknowsthey’rebusted.Buttohercredit,sheonly
shrugsandnodstowardsPenelope.Asifit’sherfaultthey’rehere.
PenelopeisfacingawayfrommeasIwalkontothedancefloor.Idon’tknowthesongthatplays,but
it’sslow,andherbodyknowseverybeat.
Ishouldgrabheranddragheroutofhere.Ishouldmakehergohomeandexplainthatthisisn’tsmart
orsafe.Ishoulddoanythingbutslidemyhandstoherhips.Butthat’sexactlywhatIdo.
ShetenseswhenIpullherbackagainstmyfront.Imoldherbodytomineandpressmylipstoher
ear.“It’sme,krasotu.”
Shestillsagain,butIrunmyhandsalongherhipsandstarttomove.Idon’tthinkshewantstomove
withme,butshecan’tstopherself.Shelovesittoomuch.
Ifeeltheenergyflowingfromher,anditpassestome.Themusicisdark,andthesongtalksabout
diamonds. I want to strip Penelope bare and pour them on her. Her skin should only be touched by
somethingworthyofit.Notme.Notmyhands.ButselfishlyIdon’ttakethemoffher.
HerexposedshoulderandneckaresoclosethatIcanseethelightsheenofsweatonthem.Ilean
down,andIcansmellthescentoflavendermixedwithherbody.Ihavetouseallofmystrengthnotto
leandownandtasteit.
InsteadIcaressherwarmcurves,givingintothebeastinsideme,takingwhatIwantwithoutthought
toconsequence.I’mananimalwhenconfrontedwithherdelicatetenderness,butsheleansbackintome.
Sherubstheswellofherassacrossmyachingcock,andImoanintoherear.Sheshivers,andImovemy
mouthlower,pressingmylipstoherneck.Ican’tstopmyself,andIdon’tknowthatIcaretotryanymore.
Ikissacrosshershoulderandthenbackup,lickingtheshellofherear.I’moutofcontrol,butitfeels
right.Wearelostinthismoment,andIdon’twantittoend.
Ilookdownather,andsheturnsinmyarms.Herhandspresstomychest,andIfeelthelowerhalfof
herpressclosertome,closertomyhardness.Shelicksherlipsandtiltsherheadup.
“Potseluymenya.”
Shewhispersthewords,buttheyechoinmyears.Ishouldstopandthinkaboutwhatshe’saskingof
meandhowshecouldknowRussian.Butnoneofthatmatters.Isimplygiveherwhatsheasksfor.
Leaningdown,Iplaceahandonherneckandfeelherpulseagainstmypalm.Hereyesarewide,but
notwithfear.Thereisonlypassionandneed,anditmatchesmyown.SheclosesthemasIpressmylips
to hers, but I keep mine open. I want to see her when I kiss her for the first time. I want to watch her
reactiontome.
IknowthatIcan’tlethergoandthatIwon’tgiveherup.I’vedonebadthingsinmylife,andIdon’t
deserveher.ButIcan’tdothehonorablethingwhenitcomestoPenelope.I’veneverbeennoble,andI’m
notstartingnow.
Whenhertonguecomesoutandtouchesmine,that’swhenmyeyesclose.That’swhenI’mthrown
overtheedgeandbeginthefall.
IcanonlypraythatwhenIland,I’mstillabletocatchher.
ChapterNine
Penelope
Igetlostinhim,lettingtherestoftheworldmeltaway.Idon’tcarewhereIamorwhat’sgoingon
aroundus.AlltheangerIhadforhimmomentsagofallsfromme.Idon’tknowwhy,butIdon’twantto
hangontotheanger.Ican’tbemadathim.DeepdownIknowhe’spushingagainstmebecausesomething
insidehimismakinghimdoit.AsliceofguiltrunsthroughmethatIdidn’tpushback.Icouldhavefought
harderforhim,becauseIknowheneedsfightingfor.
Hislipsaresoft,softerthanIwouldhaveimagined.Histongueslowandsweet.Thekissisnothing
likeIthoughtitwouldbe,butthere’smoretohimthanwhat’sonthesurface.Theonlyhardthingabout
himnowisthepossessiveholdhehasonme.
Alltoosoonhepullsbackandlooksdownatme.Hisdarkeyesarefiercerthanever.Ican’tread
him.Toomuchispushingthrough.Possession,want,need,hope.
“You’rehere,”Isay.
Partofmehopedhewouldshowup.Thatmaybehesawussneakoutandfollowedus.Ilickmylips,
wantingtoseeifIcanstilltastehim.Iwantmore.Iwantthelookhe’sgivingmerightnowtoneverslip
away.He’slookingatmelikeI’mhiseverything.
“I’msorry,mykrasotu.Ididn’tmeanthethingsIsaidbefore.”Hepullsmeimpossiblycloser,like
he’safraidIwilltrytogetawayfromhim.IswearIfeelatrembleinhishands.
“You didn’t mean that you were fine until I showed up in your life?” I try to tease, but the words
comeoutlacedwithhurt.IhateitbecauseIknowheknowshurt,andIdon’twantitcomingfromme.I
canalreadytellfromthewayhe’sactingnowthatlastnightwasalie.Ishouldhaveseenitandnotspent
thedayignoringhim.Ishouldhaveonlygivenhimsweetness.Beingcoldisn’tlikemeatall.
“I thought I was.” He pauses, running his hand along my exposed neck and shoulder. “But you,
Penelope,youmakemefeel,”hewhispersintomyear.“Feelsomethingthatisn’tpain.”
Heleansdown,andIthinkhe’sgoingtokissmeagain.Insteadhepresseshislipsagainstmyneck.
His warm breath brushes against me, and it’s like he’s breathing me in. He runs his nose along my
collarbone,uptomyear.Myeyesfallclosed,wantingtoonlyhavehistouch,toonlyfeelhimandnothing
elsearoundus.What’shedoingtome?Idon’tunderstandhowsomeoneIonlymetdaysagocanbeso
consumingsoquickly.
Buthereitis,andIdon’twanttoletitgo.Iwanttograbaholdofit.
Heneedsyou,avoiceinsidemeechoes.
NowI’mpullinghimcloser.IhaveafeelingPandorawasright.Ivanisdark,butIknowIcanbehis
light.Icanfeelit.I’mhisotherhalf.
“Youtwoaboutdone?”IhearPandorayellnexttous,makingsurewecanhearheroverthemusic.
Themomentisjerkedfromus,andIlookoverather.
Ivandoesn’treleasemefromhishold.“Net.I’llneverbedone.”HisRussianaccentisthickernow,
deeperthanbefore.Butheisn’tlookingatPandorawhenhesaysit.He’slookingrightatme.
“Well,that’sgreat,Big,DarkandTattooed,butwe’releaving,”shetellshim.Shegrabsmebythe
handtopullme,butIvanstilldoesn’tletmego.
“Krasotuwantstodance.Wewillleavewhenshe’sfinished.”HefinallylooksovertoPandora,but
thenhiseyescomebacktome.“Krasotu,wouldyouliketodancemore?”
“Fuckingshit,”IhearPandorasay.
“Iwanttogo,”Itellhim,hopingifwegothatmeansthetwoofusgettobealone.Iwanthismouth
backonmine.
“Thenwego.”Hishandslidesintomineasheleadsmefromtheclub.
Thecrowdpartstomakewayforus.ForIvanactually.Hisbigbodymovesthroughtheswarmwith
purpose.
“I’llcallusacab,”Pandorasays.
“I’lltakeyouhome.”
Pandoratriestofightwithhim,butIvanchallengesher.“I’mherguard.”
“Notforlong,youwon’tbe.Waituntilourmomfindsoutyou’retryingtostickittomysister.The
onlythingyou’llbeguardingisyourballs.”
Ivanshrugslikehedoesn’tcareforthesafetyofhisballs.
“Mysisterwillkeephermouthshut,”Ihalf-growlatPandora.Iknowsheisn’tgoingtotattle,butshe
stillglaresatme.Clearlyshe’snothappyaboutwhat’sgoingdown.
Whenwemakeitoutside,hegoesovertothevaletandishandedhiskeys.Hekeepshishandlocked
withmineaswewalkovertoaPorsche.Heopensthepassenger-sidedoorformeandwaits.
IglanceoveratPandora,who’sstandingtherewithherhandsonherhips.“I’llsitonyourlap,”Itell
her.Sheletsoutadeepsighandgetsinthecar.Islipinafterher,sittingawkwardlyontopofherlegs.
Ivanclosesthedoorthengoesaroundtotheotherside.Imovealittlesomybackismoretowardsthe
door.
WhenIvangetsin,hereachesoverandpullstheseatbeltoverbothmysisterandme,clickingitinto
place.Hishandcomesuptobrushmycheekforasofttouchbeforehecranksupthecarandpullsaway
fromthecurb.
WerideinsilenceforamomentbeforePandorabreaksit.
“Fuckit,”shefinallysays,andIrollmyeyes.“I’mjustgoingtosayit.”
Yeah,likeshe’severbittenhertonguewhenthere’ssomethingshewantstosay.
“You’renogoodforher.Iknowyouseeit.Lookather.She’ssweetandsoftandallthatshit.She’s
likethefreakingheartofourfamily.Hell,Ibetyou’veevenkilledpeoplebefore.”Shesnapsthelastpart,
andtheairinthecarfeelslikeit’salive.
IwatchsomethingpassoverIvan’sface,andIhateit.IelbowPandora,hittingherrightintheribs
beforeIplacemyhandoverIvan’s,ignoringPandora’sstringofcurses.Hemoveshisthumbagainstmine
ashewelcomesmytouch.Hiseyesstayontheroad,butGodIwishIcouldseethemrightnow.Iwonder
howmanyotherpeoplehavejudgedhimalltooquickly.Don’ttheyseethemanunderneathallthetattoos
andscars?
“Do you hear her?” I tell him. Leaning more towards him, I say “She’s trying to tell you all the
reasonswecan’tbetogether.ButIdon’tcare.Doyou?”Ireachup,rubbingthebackofmyfingersacross
thestubbleonhisface.Iknowifwereallywanttobetogether,mysisterwillbetheleastofourbattles.
“Ifyouwantme,krasotu,Iwillforeverbeyours.”Hesaysitsosimply,asifIcanhaveownership
overhim.Heleansintomyhand.
“Iwantyou,”Itellhim.“Allofyou.”Iwatchtensionleavehisbody.Ismileathim,andforthefirst
realtimeinmylifeI’mpissedatmysister.
“So,TacoBell?”Pandorasays.
Igritmyteeth.
“Areyouhungry?”Ivanasks,glancingoveratme.
“I’malwayshungry,”Pandorapipesinlikehe’stalkingtoher.
“Krasotu?”heasks,ignoringher.
“Iwanttogohome.Withyou.”IaddthelastpartbecauseIdon’twanttheretobeanyconfusion.I
needtobealonewithhim.
Pandorahuffs,andthecargrowssilentagain.IplacemyhandontopofIvan’sashedrivesushome.
He pulls up to the gate and keys in the code. He takes us to the front of the house, and I hop out and
Pandorafollows.
“Ivan,I’mcomingwithyou,”Itellhimashegetsoutofthecar.IgrabPandorabythearmandpull
hertowardsthesideofthehouse.“Ijustneedamomentwithmysister,”Icallovermyshoulder.
Istopwhenwemakeittoherbathroomwindow.
“I’msorry,”shesaysbeforeIcanevenyellather.“Ijustworryaboutyou.Don’tbemadatme.”She
reachesupandtucksastrandofhairbehindmyear.“Wedon’tfight.IwaswrongabouthimIthink”she
adds,takingmebysurprise.“IwatchedhimwhenIsaidthosethingsinthecar.He’s—”
“Don’t.”Icutheroff.Idon’twanttohearabouthowhe’sbrokenorwhateveritis.That’sformeand
Ivantoworkout.Ifeelsoprotectiveofhim.Idon’twantanyonethinkingofhiminanywaybutpositive.
“You’realreadysofargone,”shesays,studyingmyface.“Iknowwealwaysjokeabouthowyou
takecareofus.You’rethetenderone,butnoonegetsasangryasyouwhensomeonegoesafterwhatyou
love.”Sheleansin,kissingmeonthecheek.“I’llsleepinyourbedtonightsowhenMomandDadget
homethey’llthinkwe’rebothinthere,”shesaysbeforeopeningthewindowandslippingin.“Becareful.
Idon’twanttohavetokillhim,”sheaddsassheclimbsinandshutsthewindow.
Ithinkaboutherwords,abouthowangryIgotwhenshemadeacommentthatIthoughthurtIvan.It
onlymakesmebelieveevenmorethathewasmeanttobemine.
Idon’thavetoturnaroundtoknowhe’sbehindme.Ihaveafeelingthat’swherehe’llalwaysbe.
ChapterTen
Ivan
“I snuck in here when I was younger, but there was only a gym at the time, so it didn’t hold much
appeal.”
Penelopetakesmyhandandleadsmedownthehallwaytowheremybedroomis.Ishouldstopher,
takeherbacktothelivingroom,butwheresheleadsIwillfollow.
“ThenhowdoyouknowwhereIsleep?”IaskasIclosethebedroomdoorbehindus.
“Process of elimination.” She looks back at me over her shoulder as she slips off her shoes and
climbsonthebed.“Therearetwofloorsandonlyonebedroomonthisone.You’dbedownheretoeither
beclosetothekitchenorclosetome.”
“Toyou,”Iadmit,notshyaboutmyfeelingsforher.“Ican’tthinkofanythingelsebesidesyou.I’m
loyaltoyourfamily,andthoughthismaymakemeanenemytoyourparents,IknewthesecondIsawyou
thatI’dlaydownmylifeforyours.”
“Iguesspeoplemightcallthisloveatfirstsight,”shesays,scootingbacktothemiddleofthebed.
Iwalkovertothesidetableandpressplayonthesurroundsound.Softmusicfillstheroomfromthe
hiddenspeakers,andIwalkbacktothebed.
“I don’t care what anyone else calls this.” I kick off my shoes and unbutton my shirt, opening the
frontsothatmypaleskinandtattoosareexposed.“IknowthatI’veneverexperiencedlovebeforeand
thatthefeelingsIhavenowforyouareunlikeanythingI’vefeltbefore.Mysoulwasboundtoyoursthe
firsttimewetouched.Ifthatislove,thenIloveyou,Penelope.Butitfeelslikemorethanthat.Morethan
oneword.”
SheliesbackonthebedasIcomeoverher,herhandspressingtomybarechest.Herfingersburrow
underthematerialofmyshirtandsmoothdownmybackthencomeupagain.Hernailsscoreapathas
theymove.
“Willyoumakelovetome?”Hereyesarepleadingasherhandsmovetomyshouldersandneck.
“Da.ButIwillgiveyoupleasurefirst,”Ianswer,leaningdownandkissinghersoftly.
Shereachesup,untyingtheribbonononesideofherdressandpullingitdown.Ihelphermoveit
downherbodyuntilit’soffandshe’sbaredtomeinherbraandpanties.Therearenostrapsonherbra,
soIreacharoundhertounclaspwhat’scoveringherbreasts.
Whentheyareexposed,Iplaceakissbetweenthem.Irunmynosealongthesoftswellofherbreasts
andthenkissthemgentlybeforetakinganippleintomymouth.Isuckleherdelicately,notwantingtohurt
her.Myonlydesireistogivetoherthesamepleasureshehasalreadygivenme.Thegiftsofherloveand
herbodyaremorethanamanlikemedeserves.Iwillspendmylifetryingtocorrectthebalance,forshe
outweighsallthatIamathousandtimesover.
Shepullsatmyshirt,askingformore.Istripoffmyclothes,leavingonlymyunderwear,unableto
denyanydemandshemakes.
“Sweetflower,haveyouhadamanbetweenyourthighsbefore?”IaskasIkissherfeetandmove
myhandstoherpanties.
“No.AllI’veeverdoneiskiss.”
Her blush shows her true innocence, and my cock grows harder. How can I take such beauty for
myselfandallowhernootherfortherestofherlife?ItellmyselfthatnomanwillloveherasIdo.No
manwillmakeherdreamscometrueasIcan.ShewillwantnooneelseaftershehasfeltthepleasureI
willgiveherbody.
“Andifwemakelove,willyouholdmybabyinsideyourwomb?”Ikissjustbelowherbellybutton,
wheretheedgeofherpantiesare.IlookintohergreeneyesasIslidethemoverherhips,revealingher
untouchedpussy.
“OhGod,”shewhimpersasmymouthmoveslower,almosttotheslitofhersweetness.“Um,I’mnot
onanything.Canyoupullout?”
“Da,mysweetkrasotu.Andwherewillyouletmespillmyseed?”Igentlyspreadherlegsapart,
openingherlipsandseeinghernectar.
“Anywhere,”shemoansasIkisshermostintimateplace.
I make love to her pussy with my mouth, tasting the sweetest fruit I’ve ever eaten. Her ripe juices
driponmylips,andIdrinkthemdown.Ipresstwofingersinsidehertightchannelandfeelthepressure
ofherinnocencesqueezingagainstthem.Myotherhandgoesinsidemyunderweartomycock,rubbingit
withpromisesofwhat’stocome.It’stheonlywayIcanfindreliefforthepainthatgrowsunbearable.
When her body tightens and her legs become restless, I know she’s approaching her peak. “Stop
resisting,mybeauty.DonotfightwhatIgiveyourbody.”
Ipressmyfingersagainstthetenderplaceinsideher,thespotofpleasurethatwillbethegreatestfor
her.ThenIsuckherclitandwaitforhertogivein.Ionlyhavetowaitamomentbeforeshecannolonger
challengewhatishappeningtoher.Butbecauseofthestruggle,theclimaxisallthesweeter.
Herhoneydripsontomytongue,andImoanasshedoes.Hercriesareloudandhergriponmeis
tight.Mynameonherlipsisenoughforme.Icouldstopnowandholdherallnightwiththatasmyonly
pleasure.Mykrasotusayingmynameasherorgasmwrapsaroundherbodyismyvisionofheaven.She
hasgivenittomewithoutinhibition,andIwillforeverbechangedbecauseofit.
Irestthesideofmycheekonherthighandclosemyeyes.Iwantthememoryofthisbrandedintomy
mindsothatwhenIamonehundredyearsold,thisisstilljustasperfect.
“Holyshit,”Penelopeexclaims,andIopenmyeyestoseehersmiling.
“Didyouenjoyit?”IaskasIlickmyfingersandmoveupherbody.
“Wow.”Shecloseshereyesandletsoutasmalllaugh.“Canyoudothatagain?”
“Asmanytimesasyouwish,mykrasotu.”Iwrapmyarmsaroundherandkisshersoftly.
Butshedeepensit.Hertonguemeetsmine,andtheflavorofherpussyiswarmandsweetbetween
us.Thereisurgencyfromher,butIdon’twanttorushthismoment.
“Wehaveforever,”Iwhisperagainstherlipsandrubmynoseagainsthers.“Donotrushme.”
ReachingdownIslipoffmyboxerbriefsandthenrunthelengthofmycockagainstherslickness.I
don’tpushinside,justlazilycoatmyselfinherhoney.
“Youfeelbig,”shesays,hereyeswidewithuncertaintyandexcitement.
“Wewillfit,mylove.Yourbodyissmall,butIwillbegentle.”
“Iloveyou,Ivan.”Shetouchesmycheekandsmilessosweetlyatme.
“Myheartisinyourhands,krasotu.”
Ipresstheheadofmycocktoheropeningandpushinslowly.Herwarmthhugsme,envelopingthe
largetip.WhenIfeelhertense,Irunmyhandacrossherchestandhardnipples.Ikissherdeeplyagain,
lettingherrelaxasIsinkevendeeper.
She doesn’t tense again, but having my cock inside her is new and foreign for her. Her pussy is
adjusting,andItrytomakeitpleasurableasshelearnswhatIfeellikewhenwemakelove.
Ilethersoftcuntmemorizeeveryridgeofmesothatthenexttimeshewillwelcomemehome.Like
thebelovedloyalmanatherfeet,Iwillawaitherbeckoning.
Whenthekississogreatthatsheneedstocatchherbreath,Imovemylipstoherneckandbeginto
move.IburymyfacethereasIgiveherlong,slowthrustsofmycock.
“Ivan,”shewhispers,andit’salmostmyundoing.
Ithrustharder,lettingherfeelmystrength.Inthismoment,Iampossessingnotonlyherbodybuther
spirit.Thereisapowerthatmovesbetweenus,andhersoulnowbelongstome.
“Sweetkrasotu,youaremylove.”Ikissherfiercely,settingthismomentinstone.Myownershipof
herisn’ttobetakenlightly.Itismysolemnvowtobehersoldier.Theknightinshiningarmorherlittle
heartdreamedof.
Imoveahandtoherpussytoteasehertinybud.Ibringmythumbbacktomymouthandlickit,then
replaceitwheresheneedsitmost.Iwantthetasteofherinnocenceonmymouthassheclimaxesforme.
Iwatchablushblossomonherchestandmoveupherneck.Hereyesclosetightandherheadtilts
backasonceagainshestopsthefight.Shegivesintomygiftandfallsovertheedgeofparadise.Asheen
ofsweatdampensherskin,andweareslicktogether.HerorgasmisthemostbeautifulthingIhaveever
seen,sounrestrainedandpure.Thereisnothingheldbackwhensheallowsherselfthismoment.
IttakesallthestrengthIhavenottospillmyseedwithinherwarmth.Itwouldhavebeensoeasy,but
Iwillalwaysdowhatmykrasotuasks.
Pullingoutmycream-coveredcock,Isitupandstrokeitwhilelookingdownathernakedness.Her
perfectskin,rosywithpleasure,herroundbreastswithhardnipplesbeggingformoreattention.
Her eyes widen as she watches me, and then she brings her own hand to mine. Her soft fingers
interlace with mine, and together we stroke my cock. She licks her lips, and I want to come on them,
coveringtheswollenpetalswithmyseed.
Butthelookofheronherback,legsspreadandopenformeistoomuch.Instead,Ichoosetomark
herbody,lettingherwatchmeclimaxontoher.
Shepumpsmetorelease,andthickspurtsofmyloveforherlandonherpaleskin.Iwatchaseach
throbbringsmore,andIreachdown,rubbingitin.Theyardsofunmarkedperfectionnowproudlydisplay
myownership.TherehasneverbeenamomentwhereIhavefeltsuchcompletedevotion.
Inearlycollapseontopofherandfeelthewarmthspreadbetweenus.Ifeelasifmyentireworldis
inmyarms.
“Idon’tthinkIcanbreathe,”shesays,andholdsmetighter.
“Theloveisheavybetweenus.Butdonotworry,mysweetbeauty.Iwillcarryitforthebothofus.”
ChapterEleven
Penelope
IlieonmybackinthecenterofIvan’sbed,stillnakedafterourlove-making.Mywholebodyfeels
like it’s still tingling. His face rests on my belly as his arms wrap around me so tightly I’m a little
surprisedIcanbreathe.Hisholdonmeistight,butIloveit.
I run my fingers through his short hair, looking over his back and the tattoos there. I wonder what
someofthemmean.IonlyknowafewRussianwordsbasedonthesmallamountofreadingI’vedone.
“Ivan,doyouhaveafamilybackhome?”
“Thereisonlyyou,krasotu,”hesaysbeforehislipsbrushmystomach.Theshortstubbleonhisface
rubsagainstmyskin.“Youaresosoft,”hesaysbeforekissingmeagain.Hecan’tstoptouchingme.Every
caresslingerslikehedoesn’twanttoletmego,asifI’mthemostpreciousthinghehaseverheld.
I’vealwaysfeltlovedbymyfamily.Theirloveformehasneverbeenindoubt.ButIhavealways
beentheonetotakecareofeveryone.Evenifitwasneveraskedofme,it’sjusthowIam.Ican’thelpit,
andIknowtheyappreciateit.WithIvan,Ifeelliketakingcareofhimwouldbesodifferent.
Hiswordsaresweetandtheymakemewanttosmileandcryforhim.Hedoesn’thaveanyone.It
makes me cherish my family even more. I couldn’t imagine my life without them. To try and picture
growingupallalonejustisn’tpossible.Maybethat’swhyhepushedmeawayyesterday.He’snotusedto
havingsomeone.Hedoesn’tknowhowtodealwithit.ButIthinkthathaspassedforhim,iftheholdhe
hasonmenowsaysanythingatall.
“Ivan.”Imovealittleunderhim.Hisdarkeyescomeuptomeetmine.Heraiseshisheadfrommy
stomachwhenheseesthetearsinmyeyes.
“Whydoyoucry?”Concerncoatshisexpressionasheleansupoverme.Hiseyessearchmyface,
andtensionfillshismusclesatmydistress.“DidIhurtyou?”
“Icryforyou,”Itellhim,reachinguptotouchhisfaceasIthinkaboutthismanbeingallaloneand
howhe’llneverbealoneagain.
“Don’tbesadforme.”Asmilelightsuphisface.“Todayisthehappiestdayofmylife.”Heleans
down,takingmymouthinaslow,deep,hungrykiss.Itrytowrapmylegsaroundhim,butthemanistoo
big. I shift under him, still feeling our passion from before. His hardness rubs against me, making me
moan into his mouth. I didn’t know something like this could be real. The feelings I’m having are so
overwhelming.IthinkI’mgoingtolovebeinginlove.
Hepullsback.“Youshouldrest,”hetellsme.Idon’twanttorest.Alltoosoonthesunwillriseand
I’llhavetogobacktomyownroom.“Areyousore?”
“I’mokay,”Iadmit.There’sonlyatwingeofpainleft,butIwouldpushthroughittomakeloveto
himagain.“Idon’twantthisnighttoend.Idon’twanttogobacktomyroom.”
“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.” His words are so easy, like we won’t have to
dealwithmyparents.Hebrushesafewofmycurlsoutofmyface.
“Myparents,they’re—”
“You’reanadult.Youwanttostayatmyside,Iwillmakeitso.”Heleansdown,buryinghisfacein
myhairandneck,rollingalittletothesideandwrappingaroundmetightlyasourarmsandlegstangle
together.He’sprovinghispointthatI’mnotgoinganywhere.“Youwanttostaywithme,da?”Ifeelhim
tenseathisownquestion.
“Forever,”Itellhim.
HemutterssomethinginRussian,butIdon’tunderstandit.“Iwillbegoodtoyoualways.Ipromise
this.YougivemeyourheartandIswearitwillbemylife’sgoaltomakeyouhappy.”
“Whataboutyou?Shouldn’titbemylifegoaltomakeyouhappyaswell?”
“Krasotu.”Hebringshislipstomyneckandkissesme.“IfIhaveyou,Iwillalwaysbehappy.ButI
thinkyoualsofailtoseeallyouevertrytodoismakeeveryonehappy.YouareMotherAngel.”
“You’resosweet.”Iturnonmyside,wantingtolookathim.Ibringmyhanduptohisface.Maybe
I’m just as needy with touches as he is. “Ivan, will you tell me about you? We don’t really know a lot
abouteachother,”Iadmit.
“Iknowallaboutyou.”
“I’msure.”Idon’tevenask.Myparentsprobablytoldhimaboutmewhenhewasassignedtoguard
me.Heslidesoneofhishandstomyhipandlazilystrokesmebackandforth.
“Tellme,”Ipush.
“Iwilltellyouanythingyouask,mykrasotu,butmylifeisn’tprettyandnice.It’sdirty,andIdonot
wishtosoilyourmindwithsuchthings.”
“Isthiswhyyoupushedmeawayyesterday?That—”Mywordstrailoff.God,thathurtsomuch.I
didn’tknowsomethingcouldhurtlikethat.
“Youaretoogoodforme.Iworrythat…”Hebreakseyecontactforasecond,asiftryingtogethis
wordsright.“Iwilltellyouifyouwishtostaywithme.Iwillmakeithappen.Ifearedlettingyouclose
woulddragmeintoyoumoreandthatmaybeifyoueverdidn’twanttobebymyside,Iwouldn’tallow
youtogo.”
“MaybeIdon’twantyoutoeverletmego,”Iconfess.Somethingabouthisdarkwordswarmme.I
like it. I know I shouldn’t. They should scare me, but that’s the last thing I’m feeling. His eyes seem to
darkenatmywords.
“Don’t move,” he tells me, sliding from the bed. I sit up and watch him go over to a dresser. He
opensthetopdrawerandpullssomethingoutthencomesbacktothebed.Isitup,notcaringaboutmy
nakedness with him. If anything, he’s made me feel even more beautiful with the way he worships my
body.
Heslidesanecklaceovermyheadanddropsitdownaroundmyneck.Thechainissimple,likeone
theyuseinthemilitaryfordogtags,butonthechainisathickblackring.
“YousaidIcouldtrackyou,da?”hesays.
Ipickuptheringandlookatit.Thebandisablackmetal,butsmoothandthick.Ishrug.“Idon’t
care,”Isay.
Iwatchreliefwashoverhisface.
“Ifitmakesyoufeel—”Hecutsmeoffashismouthtakesmineinakiss.I’mflatonmybackwith
himovermeonceagain.
Hepullsback.“Imadeitmyself,butIwillmakeyouabetteroneassoonasIhavethetime.”
“Thisoneisperfect,”Itellhim.Thisistheoneheputonme.It’stheoneIwanttowear.
“Net,krasotu,youareperfect.”
ChapterTwelve
Ivan
“Iwanttotalktoyou,”Isay,lightlyknockingontheofficedoor.
Paige looks up from her computer and nods. “I’ve wondered when we would have this
conversation.”
Her knowing eyes scan the area behind me, but I shake my head and close the door. “I wanted to
speaktoyoualone.”
“I’mguessingPennydoesn’tknowyou’retalkingtome.”
“Amothermissesnothing,doesshe?”Isay,sittingdownacrossfromher.
“Notme.Andnotwhenitcomestomybabies.”
“IlovePenelopeandIwanttomarryher.YouandIhavealonghistory,andIdon’twanttoseethat
broken.SoI’mcomingtoyounow.”
Shenarrowshereyesatmeandcrossesherarms.“Youcometomeafterthefact,Ivan.Weallknew
whenyousawherwhatwashappening.”
Paige stands up and walks over to the window. It looks out at the garden that separates the guest
housefromthisone.She’squietforsolongIdon’tknowifshe’sgoingtospeakagain.ButIwait,and
eventuallyshesighs.
“You’rejustlikehim.”Sheturnstolookatmeoverhershoulderandthenreturnsherattentiontothe
window.“Captainalwayshadaprettyfacehecouldhidebehind.Histruedarknesswashidden.Butyou,
Ivan,yoursisondisplayfortheworldtosee.”
She walks over to a picture of the family on the wall and looks at it, smiling. “He was born in
Russia.Didyouknowthat?Ithinkifhehadn’tbeenadoptedhecouldhaveeasilygonedownthesame
pathasyou.”
Iremainsilent,wantingtoletPaigespeak,needingtohearherwordsbeforeItrytoconvinceherthat
I’mgoodenoughforherdaughter.Whenhereyesturntomeagain,Iseefierceprotectionthere,amother
guardingheryoung.
“IfIdidn’ttrustyou,youwouldhaveneverbeenherguardtobeginwith.It’sbecauseIknowdeep
downyou’rejustasgoodassheis.Butsheisthelightofourlives.Penelopeisdifferentthantherestof
us.PandoraislikeCaptainandme.She’sstrong,andIneverworryabouther.Penelopehasalwayshada
softheart.”
“Da.Sheistoogoodforme,”Iagree.
“Penelopeisthekindofwomanthatwillneedsomeonewithshouldersbigenoughtocarryher.A
manwithstrengthenoughtoholdherandhisfamilytogether.”
Inod,comfortableintheknowledgethatIamthatman.Iwasplacedonthisearthtodoexactlywhat
Paigeisaskingme—tokeephersafeandprotectherpurityofheart.
“Willyoueverlethergo?”
“Never,”Ianswersharply.
“Iwantedbetterformydaughters.Imadesuretheyhadabetterchildhood,abetterlife,everything
better than what I had. But I never envisioned a love better than the one I have with Captain. Because
there’snothingmorethanwhatIhavewithhim.Whatweshare,whatwe’vemadeistheonlythingI’ve
everwantedformygirls.”
“You’reright,”Isay,sittingup.“Iseethetwoofyou,andthereisnodoubtthatwhatyouhavewith
yourhusbandisrare.It’ssoulmateslivingsidebyside.Andit’swhatIhavewithPenelope.”
Paigelooksatmeandnods.
“Iloveher,andIwillloveheruntiltheendofthislifeandthethousandsthatfollow.”Istandupand
walkovertoPaige.“IwouldlikeyourblessingandRyan’stomarryPenelope.Itwouldhonorusandour
love.”
“Letmetalktohim.He’snotgoingtotakeitwell.”Shelaughsandcloseshereyes,shakingherhead.
“Butyouhavemyblessing,Ivan.Iknewshewasagonerforyoufromthebeginning.AndIcan’tsayshe
didn’tgetthatfromme.”
Paigeshrugsandlooksbackatthefamilyphoto.“Justdomeafavor,okay?”
“Anything,”Isay,standingatattention.
“Promisemeyouwon’ttakeherawayfromus.”
There is a pain in my heart at her words. “The reason I love Penelope is because she’s afternoon
sunshineandthefirstblossomofspring.Shesmellslikewarmcookiesandlaughslikeanangel.Iwould
neverdoanythingtostopthat.Idon’twanttoputherinaboxandsealheraway.Herfamilyisimportant
toher,andsoit’simportanttome.”
Paigenods,andIcanseealittlereliefinhereyes.
“Iwillnevertakeherfromanyofyou.Iwishonlytobecomeapartofwhatyouhavebuilt.”
Paigereachesoutandsqueezesmyshoulder,andifI’mnotmistakentherearesmalltearsinhereyes.
“Iknowthatfeelingalltoowell.”
A few hours later, when I get back to the guest house and slip back into bed, my krasotu is still
sleeping. I lie there watching the sunlight spread across her shoulder. The sheets are tucked around her
waist, and her pale skin glows. Hours pass, and I never take my eyes off her. I could spend the rest of
eternityjustlikethisanddieahappyman.
When she opens her eyes and smiles at me, the light catches the diamond on her finger, sending
prismsofrainbowsdancingacrosstheroom.
IboughtitafterItalkedwithPaige.Thefive-caratprincess-cutpinkdiamondissurroundedbysmall
whiteonesonaplatinumband.Mykrasotudeservesaringasbeautifulassheis,andshewillforeverbe
mydarlinglove.
“Ivan,”shesays,lookingatitinshock.
“Willyoumarryme?”
“Yes!” she screams, throwing herself at me. She giggles with excitement and climbs up my body,
wrappingherlegsandarmsaroundmeastightlyaspossible.
I laugh with her and rub my hands down her back. We stay like that for a long time, but we can’t
remaininourbubbleforever.
“Pandora,”shesays,lookingintomyeyes.
Inodinunderstanding.Sheneedstotalktohertwin.
ChapterThirteen
Penelope
IslipintomyroomtoseePandorastillasleepinmybed.Ontheweekendsshecouldsleepforeverif
welether.Normallyhergrowlingstomachistheonlythingthatmotivateshertogetup.Crawlingontothe
bed, I lie next to her and run my finger down her nose. Her face scrunches and she slaps at my hand,
makingmegiggle.
IknewPandorawasthefirstpersonIwantedtotell.IknowI’llhavetofacemymomanddadsoon
enough.PandoraandIshareeverything,andIhopethatshe’llbehappyforme.Iwanthertobeexcited
withme.Irunmyfingerdownhernoseagain.
“Youbetterhavefood,”shegrumbles,smackingatmyhandagain.Hereyesflyopenwhenherhand
makescontactwithmyring.Shegrabsmyhand,lookingatthegiganticrockIvanputonme.
“Neveronetowastetimeareyou,Penny?”Ihearthelaughterinhervoice.ThelittlebitoftensionI
wasn’tevenawareIwascarryingmeltsaway.“It’sbeautiful.”
“Thankyou,”Itellher,feelingalittlechokedupnow.“Iknowsomemightsayit’sfast.”
“Fastisputtingitlightly,”shelaughs.“Seemstobethewaythisfamilyworks,though.”
We both smile at that. Dad always talks about how he fell in love with Mom after just one look.
Knewfromthemomenthesawhershewouldbehislife.Thenhedidanythingandeverythingtomakeher
his.
“Iknewthedaywouldcomewhenwe’dhavetodetachourselvesfromeachother.ButIthoughtwe
stillhadmoretime.”
Istareather,thinkingaboutnothavinghercrawlintomybedeverynight.Idon’tknowwhyIdidn’t
thinkaboutitbefore.Thingswillchangebetweenus.
“Ahh,Penny,don’tcry.AllI’msayingisI’mgoingtomissyou.Butit’stimeforanewchapterinour
lives.I’mjustgladyouhavesomeonewithyouinyournewchapter.”
“Whataboutyou?Doyouwantsomeone?”Iask.
Somethingflashesacrossherfacebeforeit’sgone.“Justbecauseyou’relovestruckdoesn’tmeanyou
needtopushitonme.IthinkI’llgoalongwithHenryanddotheno-datingthing”.
Irollmyeyesatthementionofourcousin.Henryrefusestodate.Hesaidhedidn’twanttoendup
allcrazyinlovelikehisownparents.Bothofourdadsseemtohavestalkertendencieswhenitcomesto
theirwives.Henryisterrifiedhe’sgoingtocatchit.
“WillyoutellMomandDadwithme?”
Theballoftensioninmystomachhassuddenlyreturned.SherunsherhandsoverherfaceandnowI
canseeshe’sworried,too.IalwaysgetsickwhenIthinkaboutmyparentsbeingmadatme.Pandorahad
alwaysbeenquicktotakethebruntofwhateverwegotourselvesintoaskids.Butthistime,it’sonme.
AndIneedhersupport.
“HowaboutItellthemI’mknockedup.Whentheystarttofreak,we’lljustsaythatwe’rekidding
andPenny’smarryingtheguywholookslikehemurderspeopleforbreakfast.”Ismackherarm,andthen
shesobers.“Wait,you’renotpregnant,areyou?”
I roll my eyes at her because she’s being crazy—how could I possibly be pregnant already?—but
thenhersnarrowonme.
“Allright.Let’sgopullthisBand-Aidoffbeforeyoumakeyourselfsickworryingaboutit.Thenyou
canmakemebreakfast.”Sheaddsthelastpartaswegetoutofbed.
Pandoragrabsmyhand.“Ifthatmanisbroken,noonewillbeabletohealhimlikeyou.”
Herwordstakemebysurprise,andIsqueezeherhand.“Thankyou.”
When we enter the kitchen, Pandora and I both freeze. My dad is staring at Ivan, and my mom is
standinginbetweenthem.Ivandoesn’tmove.Thelookonhisfaceisunreadable,butIknowwithouta
doubtmyparentsarenowawareofourrelationship.Icanfeelthetensionintheroom.
Eventually,Ivan’seyescometomine,andIwatchhiswholefacesoften.
MomlooksovertoPandoraandme,andDadfollowsherlineofsight.Hisattentiongoesstraightto
myfinger.Imakenomovetocoverthering.
“Penelope,”mydadsays,andIstandatattention.
“Watchyourtone,”Ivansays.
“Ohshit,”Pandoramumblesnexttome.NoonecorrectsDad.Well,nooneexceptMom.
Dad’sattentionsnapsbacktoIvan,who’sstillstaringatmelikehedidn’tjustpokeagiantbear.It’s
thenInoticethatbothofthemareaboutthesameheight.Itwouldbeanalmostevenmatch,sizewise.
“Areyouhungry,krasotu?”Ivanasksme,asiftheroomisn’tabouttoexplodewithtension.
“You’vegotfood?”Pandoraasks,andIsmackherarm.ThenIhearmymomsnort.
“Youdon’ttellmehowtotalktomydaughter,”mydadsays,ignoringeveryonebutIvan.
“Krasotuisprecious.Noonewilltalktoherinawaythatisnotpolite.”
“Allright,Iseewhyyoufellforhimsofast.Hegetsfoodandsaysshitlikethat.”
IhavetobitemyliptokeepfromsmilingatPandora’swords.
Mydadtakesadeepbreathasiftogethimselfundercontrol.“Iknowshe’sprecious.”Mydadlooks
atmeasmymommovesnexttohim.I’malittleshockedathowcalmandokaysheseemswithallofthis.
Butshemighthavealreadyknown.Sheknowseverything.
Mydadinstinctivelywrapsanarmaroundher.“Isthiswhatyouwant?”heasksme.
“Ilovehim,”Iadmit.
“Ofcourseyoudo.”Heletsoutdeepbreath.“Okay.”
“Okay?”PandoraandIsayinunison.
“Penny.”Dadsaysmynamealotsofterthistime.“It’sjusthardtotakeallthisin.You’remylittle
girl.Youlovewithyourwholeheart,andIdon’twanttoseeyouhurt.”
“I would never hurt Penelope.” Ivan walks over to me, wrapping an arm around my shoulder, and
Dad’seyesnarrowforamoment.
“Thatmightbeso,Ivan,butwe’restillgoingtohaveatalkaboutthis.”
I smile up at Ivan. Dad just gave his approval in a roundabout way. I feel like a weight has been
liftedfrommy chest.Idon’t evenknowwhy Iwasso worried.I knowatthe endofthe daymyfamily
wouldneverstandinthewayofmyhappiness.Maybeit’smorethatIwantthemtolikehim.IwantIvan
tobeapartofthisfamily.Iwanthimtogetatasteofhowwonderfulhavingafamilyreallyis.
“Da,afterkrasotueats.”
“I’llmakebreakfast,”Iannounce.
“ThankGod,”Pandorasays,walkingovertothebreakfastbarandsittingdown.
Ivanleansdownandkissesmeonthetopofmyheadbeforelettingmego.Iwalkovertomymom
anddad.“Youwantsomething,too?”
Mydadignoresmyquestion,pullingmeintothemastheybothwraptheirarmsaroundmeinatight
hug.
“Iloveyou,”mydadsays.
“Letmeseethering,”Momdemands.“Lookslikesomeonewantstomakesureeveryonewithina
mileknowsyou’retaken.”
Ifeelmyselfblushalittleasshesmilesatme
“I’mgoingtostarvetodeath,”Pandorawhines,andIrollmyeyes.
IvantakesaseatatthebreakfastbarasIstarttocook.Hewatchesmethewholetime.
I take a coffee over to him and set it down in front of him. He holds my hand and runs his thumb
acrossmyknuckle.“Iloveyou,krasotu,”hesays,bringingmyhandtohismouthandkissingit.
“Iloveyou,too,”Ireply,watchingasmilepullathislips.Hiswholefacechangessomuchwhenhe
smiles.
“Let’stalkaboutthiswedding,”Ihearmymomsay.Ilookoveratherandshe’ssmiling.Mydadis
glaringatIvan’shandholdingmine.
Pandoraletsoutasoundlikeshe’sdying,andherheaddropstothecountertop.“OhmyGod,she’s
goingtomakemewearadress!”
“OhmyGod,Igettoplanawedding!”Isquealwithexcitement.
“Thisisgoingtobehell,”Pandoragrumbles,butwhensheliftsherheadtolookatmeshe’ssmiling.
ThenIlookaroundtheroomandInoticeeveryoneissmiling.
Ifeelmyselfstarttotearupfromtheamountofhappinessflowingthroughme.It’soverwhelmingto
havethismuchloveinoneroom,butIwouldn’twantitanyotherway.Iknowthatfromthisdayforward,
myfamilyisgrowing.NotonlybyaddingIvan,butinourhearts.
Andnowthenextchapterbegins.
Epilogue
Penelope
Afewmonthslater…
“Krasotu,”Ivanmoansintomyneckaswebothcome.Hiswarmreleasefillsme,andIholdonto
himtighter,wantingtostaylostinthemoment.Lostinhim.
“I’msorry,krasotu.Mycontrolisnotstrongafterlastnight.”
Myeyesopenlazilyathiswords.Hisdarkonesmeetmine.Heleansin,takingmymouthinasoft
kiss.WhenhepullsbackIsmilebecauseIgotlipstickonhim.Ishouldprobablytellhim,butIlikethe
ideathatIleftamarkonhim.
“Imissedyou,too,andneverbesorry,”Itellhim.
PandoraandMommademehaveasleepoverlastnight,sayingthebrideisn’tsupposedtobewith
thegroomthenightbeforethewedding.IvanandIreluctantlyagreed,butIwasgladIdid.Spendingmy
lastunmarriednightwithmysisterandmomwasamemoryIwillalwayscherish.
Idon’tthinkIvandid,though,andIhaveafeelinghe’dbeenwaitingforamomenttopounceonme.
ThishasbeentheonlymomentI’vebeenaloneinthelasttwenty-fourhours.Hepoppedoutofnowhereto
push up my dress and pin me to the nearest wall. I knew he’d been watching and waiting. It made me
smileevenmore.
“Whatthehell?”IhearPandorayelpasshetriestoopenmybedroomdoor.“Ivanbetternotbein
there!”sheyells.Ihavetofightagiggle,andevenIvansmiles.
He’s grown closer and closer to my family each day. He’s been giving me more of himself and
tellingmepiecesabouthislifeinRussia.Ilovethathe’sjustasmuchapartofthisfamilyastherestof
us,andIknowhelikesit,too.Pandoraisalwayspokingathimandmakingjokes.AtfirstIusedtogetall
pissyaboutit,thinkingshewasbeingalittlemeantohim.ButthenIrealizedshedoesthesamethingwith
Henry,andIknowthat’sherwayofacceptinghimasoneofus.IevencaughtIvanlaughingwithherwhen
shedoesit.Hecangiveprettygood,too.
“Mykrasotuishere,soofcourseIamhere,”heyellsthroughthedoor.He’spokingather,andIroll
myeyes.
“Putmedown,”Iwhispertohim.Heletsoutadeepsigh,clearlynotlikingtheidea.“Thesooner
I’mready,thesoonerIbelongtoyouforever,”Iremindhim.
“Youalreadybelongtome.Andmetoyou,”headds,makingmesmileathim.
“And the sooner we can be off on our honeymoon, where it’s just you and me for three whole
weeks.”
“Openthisdoor,”Pandoragrowls,jerkingthehandle.
Ivanpullsback,hiscockslippingfreeandmakingmemoan.Hiseyesdarken,andIknowhewantsto
takemeagain.Ifeelhisreleasestarttorundownmythighsasheplacesmeonmyfeet.Thesightcatches
hiseye,andhereachesforme.IhavetojumpawayfromhimbeforeI’mpinnedtothewallagain.My
dressfallsdownandcoversmeupagain.
IvanrightshisclothesasIunlockthedoor.Pandoracomesbarrelingin,herredhairawildmess.
SheglaresatIvanforamomentbeforeshelooksatme.“Youmessedupyourmakeup.”
“Shelooksperfect,”Ivantriestocorrecther.
“Since when do you care about makeup?” I ask. It’s funny how much Pandora has been into this
wedding.She’sbeenrunningaroundbarkingordersatpeople,makingsureeverythingisgettingdone.In
herdefense,I’mnotasgoodatsnappingatpeopleassheis.
Ialreadygotupsetabouttheinvitationsbeingprintedwrong.Itriedtosaysomethingtothecompany
thatmadethem,buttheyblewmeoff.ItoldPandoraaboutitbecauseIknewifItoldIvanhe’dprobably
burntheirbuildingdown.Sheseemedthesaferbet,butafterthatshekindoftookover.Sheclearlydidnot
liketheideaofsomeonetryingtopushmearound.
“Sinceyouhadtohavethreedressesforyourweddingday?”shethrowsbackatme,notreallyeven
answeringmyquestion.
“Ineededthem!”Isnapback.Myweddingdress,myafter-partydress,thenthedressI’llleavein.
Thisseemscompletelyreasonabletome.“Youhaveanoutfitchange,too,”Isayaccusingly.
“BecauseI’mnotwearingadressallday.”SheglancesoveratIvan.She’sprobablywonderingwhat
he’sstilldoinghere.“Don’tyouneedtobegettingready?”
Hemerelyshrugs.Hewon’tleaveuntilIsaysomething.
“Okay,okay.We’llgetready,”Itellher,goingbackovertoIvan.Heleansdown,givingmeakiss.
“I’llseeyousoon,mymuzh,”Itellhim,callinghim“husband”inRussian.OverthelastfewmonthsI’ve
pickedupalotofit.
Hecupsmyface,kissingthetipofmynosebeforeturningtoleave.
AfterwardsIlookatPandora,whohasawistfullookonherface.Thelookcatchesmeoffguard,and
Iwonderifallhertalkaboutnotwantingamanisbullshit.
Webothstartcollegesoon.Itwillbethefirsttimewearereallyapart.She’smovingintothecityto
gotoschool,andI’mstayingouthereandtakingsomeclassesonline.MyauntMalloryhasbeenpushing
metowardsaccounting,andI’mstartingtothinkthat’swhatIwanttodo.
IthinkIvanismakingabusinessoutofhistrackingdevices.He’salwayscomingupwithcoolideas
ofwhattoputtheminto.MaybeIcouldhelponthebusinesssideofthat.MomandDadalreadyhavehim
makingstuffforthemforwork.
“Thatmanlovesyou.IfeellikeanassthatIevertriedtostandinthewayofthat,”Pandorafinally
says.
Iwalkuptoherandgrabherhand.“Thenpromisemesomething.”
“Anything,”sherespondsinstantly.
“Thatwhenthedaycomesandyoufallinlove,youdon’tstandinyourownway.”
Shestaresatmeforamomentlikeshe’sthinkingitover.
“Okay,Ipromise,”shesaysafterabeat.“NotthatIthinkthatdaywillevercome,”sheadds,andI
shakemyhead.
“Okay,enoughaboutme.WeneedtogettheshowontheroadsoDadcanwalkyoudowntheaisle.
MomandIhavebetsonhowlongitwilltakehimtoletyougowhenyougettotheend.”Sheleansin
close“Ibettenseconds,sodoyoursisterasolid.”
Ilaugh.
“For real, though, let’s do this thing. I don’t know how much longer Dad can hold Ivan back. The
manalreadygavehimthesliponce.”
That makes me smile even more because I love the idea of Dad and Ivan hanging out. They have
becomeclose,mydadtreatinghimattimeslikehisownson.God,myfamilycouldn’tbemoreperfect.
TheyalwayssayI’mtheheartofthisfamily,butintruth,ittakesusalltomakeitbeat.
Epilogue
Ivan
Tenyearslater…
Penelopecomesrunningintotheroomandjumpsintomyarms.IlaughasIkissherlipsandcarry
hertoourbedroom.
“Areyouhappy,krasotu?”
“HappierthanIeverdreamedpossible.”
“Areyouhappybecauseourchildrenarenextdoorspendingthenight?”Ismileatherandrubthe
stubbleonmychinagainstherneck.
ShegigglesandthensnortsasIdropheronthebed.
Ihoveraboveher,lookingdownatmybeauty.Theyearshavebeenagifttoher,becausesheismore
beautiful with each passing day. The way she’s grown soft in her belly and the way her hips have
widened…Thereisnothingmorestunningthanseeingmywiferoundwithourlittlebabies.We’vehad
two,andshesaysnomore.Shesaysthatweareblessedwithoneboyandonegirlandthatwearelucky.
Iamtheluckyone.TohavePenelopechoosemeashermate,asherlover,forallofourdaysisthe
dreamcometrue.
We have made a family together, a life more precious than I could have imagined. After we were
marriedsheaskedtolivenearherfamily,sonaturallyIbuiltherahomenextdoortothem.Iwillalways
givemykrasotuwhatshewishes.
NowPandoraandherfamilyliveontheothersideofus.Weareonebigcompoundofbabiesand
babysitters.Penelopelovesnothingmorethanmotheringusallandwasquicktobecomeastay-at-home
mom. People joke and say we have a village, but I don’t see this as a bad thing. We are a family, and
that’ssomethingIneverdaredtohopefor.Butasyearshavepassed,Penelopehasmademeunderstand
thatitisgoodtohope.
“I’mhappytohaveyoualoneforthenight.Evenifit’sonlyforafewhoursbeforethekidstryto
sneakbackoverhere.”
Ipulloffhersundressandsandals,kissingherfeet.Mymouthmoveshigherasherlegsfallopenfor
me.
“Doyouwishformykisses?”Iask,lookingintothegreeneyesthatholdmyheart.
“YouknowIdo.”Shewinksatme,raisingherhipsininvitation.
“Thenyoushallhaveallofthem.”
Imovemymouthbetweenherlegsandkisshersweetnectaruntilsheclimaxes.We’vebeentogether
tenyears,andasIsinkintoherIthinkabouthowit’salwaysspecial.Everytimeweconnectthereislove
—loveofourbodies,loveofourspirits,loveofoursouls.
Shewrapsherarmsaroundmyneck,andIpullherbodyflushwithmine.
“Stayclose,”shewhispers,andIobey.
IholdhertightasIthrustinandout,leavingnospacebetweenus.
It’shourslaterwhenshe’ssated,andIwrapmybodyaroundhers.Therearenomorewords,only
kissesandlighttouchesasshedriftsofftosleep.Ihumsoftlytoher,thesametuneIsangtoourbabies.
Shecloseshereyes,andherdarkhalf-moonlashesmakeherlooklikeadoll,soperfectandsweetasshe
sleepsonmychest.
Althoughmylifebegandarkandlonely,Iamthankfulforit.Iwouldchargedownanypaththatledto
thelovenexttome,thatbroughtmehometothehappilyeverafterwehavebuilt.Mybeautyhastaughtme
manythings,butbelievinginfairytaleswasthemostimportantone.Sheshowsmeeverydaythatdreams
docometrue.
IntroducingtheCarinaPressRomancePromise!
TheCarinaPressteamallhaveonethingincommon:weareromancereaderswithalongtimeloveofthe
genre.Andweknowwhatreadersarelookingforinaromance:aguaranteeofahappily-ever-after
(HEA)orhappy-for-now(HFN).Withthatinmind,we’reinitiatingtheCarinaPressRomancePromise.
Whenyouseeabooktaggedwiththesewordsinourcovercopy/bookdescription,we’remakingyou,the
reader,averyimportantpromise:
ThisbookcontainsaromancecentraltotheplotandendsinanHEAorHFN.
Simple,right?Butsoimportant,weknow!
LookfortheCarinaPressRomancePromiseandone-clickwithconfidencethatweunderstandwhat’sat
theheartoftheromancegenre!
LookforthislineinCarinaPressbookdescriptions:
One-clickwithconfidence.ThistitleispartoftheCarinaPressRomancePromise:alltheromance
you’relookingforwithanHEA/HFN.It’sapromise!
Findoutmoreat
CarinaPress.com/RomancePromise
.
ISBN-13:9781488080593
EverythingforHer
Copyright©2017byAlexaRileyLLC
All rights reserved. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-
transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be
reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into
any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or
mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of publisher,
HarlequinEnterprisesLimited,225DuncanMillRoad,DonMills,OntarioM3B3K9,Canada.
Allcharactersinthisbookhavenoexistenceoutsidetheimaginationoftheauthorandhavenorelation
whatsoever to anyone bearing the same name or names. They are not even distantly inspired by any
individualknownorunknowntotheauthor,andallincidentsarepureinvention.
ThiseditionpublishedbyarrangementwithHarlequinBooksS.A.
® and ™ are trademarks of the publisher. Trademarks indicated with ® are registered in the United
StatesPatentandTrademarkOffice,theCanadianIntellectualPropertyOfficeandinothercountries.
Wyszukiwarka
Podobne podstrony:
Hold Tight (For You #2) Alexa Riley
OTWÓRZ OCZY. FOR YOU, Teksty 285 piosenek
SWOJE SERCE CI DAM. For You(1), Teksty piosenek
WYZNANIE. For You, Teksty 285 piosenek
Why telly is not good for you
ZAKOCHANY. New For You, Teksty 285 piosenek
Secondhand Serenade ?ll For You
103 Glenn Medeiros Nothings gonna change my love for you
DOKĄD ODPŁYNĘŁY For You, Teksty piosenek
ZA KILKA DNI For You, Teksty 285 piosenek
Oczy twe For You344
Glenn Medeiros Nothing's gonna change my love for you
Madonna Crazy for you
WRÓŻKA ZE SNÓW. For You, Teksty 285 piosenek
Everything I do I do for you
I'll? There For You The Rembrants
Find the Job That Is Right for You
Sebastien Lefebvre I?ll For You
Physics For You 2014 08
więcej podobnych podstron