DangerousLies

By:BrookePage

Synopsis

Thenightmaresweren’tgoingawaywithtimelikethetherapistsaid.

Myex-husbandwassupposedtodisappearfrommylifeandmindoncethetrialwas

over,yetstill,hewasconsumingme,controllingmythoughtsandactions.

Mybestfriendacrosstheworldhadanideatofixmytroubledmindandwriter’s

block.Hewantedmetocomeforavisit,staywithhim,andclearmymindfromthe

damagemyformerhusbandhadcaused.

Jakesaidhe’dhelpmegetmywritingflowback,butIwasafraid,andexcited,thatit

mightbringoutmoreemotionsthanIcouldhandle.Ifoughtthesmallcrushthatwas

beginningtodevelopforhimovertimebecauseIwasmarried,butnowIdidn’thaveany

rulestoabideby.

Istrustingsomeoneyou’vetalkedtoforyearsontheinternetreallymakethem

stranger?

I’mtoldit’sdangeroustomeetsomeonefromtheinternet.

IknowJake.Ihaveforyears,andthebutterfliesflutteringinmystomachareeagerto

bereleased.

AbouttheAuthor

NZthrillWriter:Soundslikeyouneedatriphalfwayacrosstheworld.

Weweretaughtrunningfromourproblemswasn’ttheanswerfromayoungage.I

followedthatrulemywholelife,facingtheavalanchesthatcrashedintomyhopesand

desires.BeingkickedoutofmyhousebeforeIwaslegallyanadult,livinginmy

boyfriend’sparent’sbasement,wasthefirstofmylifechangingproblems.LittledidI

know,thatonedecisionwouldcauseadominoeffectforthenexttenyears.

AuthorCoraCart:IfonlyIcouldgetawaywiththat.

NZthrillWriter:I’mcallingyou.

Isighed.Itwas3:30inthemorninginmyboringstateofIllinois,andIhadtomeet

withmypublisherinfivehours.Ihadn’tsleptinweeks,andunfortunatelyitwasn’t

becausethemangledwordsinmybrainwereflowingdownmyarmsandintomy

fingertips,transferringintosentencesofwisdomandpassion.No,itwasbecauseI’d

finallysettledanastydivorcethathadsuckedthelifeoutofmesinceImadethestupid

decisiontodisownmyfamilyandlivewithhim.

AuthorCoraCart:It’slate,Ishouldtryandgotosleep.

Ignoringmyrequest,Jakerangmyphone.Igrinned,secretlylovinghisgritat

attemptingtomakemefeelbetter.

Jakedidn’twastehisbreathonsayinghellowhenIanswered.“Ipersonallythinkyou

shouldgetawaywithtraveling.Thepapershaveallbeensigned,youdon’thaveany

childrentoattendto,andIcanalmostguaranteeyourbosswouldallowit.”

“Shewouldn’tcareifItookoffforafewweeks,butI’mworriedit’dlookawful,”I

saidtruthfully.Mybossmightapproveofmeleaving,butshemostdefinitelywouldbe

disgustedifshefoundoutIwereshackingupwithanotherman,evenifwewereonly

friends.

“Howso?You’renottiedtoyourjackassofahusbandanymore.”

Takingmycellintothebathroom,Itappedthespeakerphoneon,grabbinga

washclothtorinseoffthelittlemakeupthatremainedfromcourttoday.

“Ex-husband,”Icorrected.“YouofallpeopleknowIcan’ttakeriskswithwhereI’m

atandwhoI’mwith.”

“That’swhereyoumadethemistakeofblastingyourbeautifulfacealloverthe

internet,Love.”

IgrinnedwhenhecalledmebeautifulandLove.Hewasgoodatthepetnames,butI

doubtedhemeantmorebythem.Wewerefriends,andhehadnevershownaromantic

interestintheyearswe’dknowneachother.

“OnlyallowingyourbackwithbreathtakingNewZealandscenerywillsellmale

writer’sbooks,doesn’tworkforfemales.”

“Doubtthat,butyou’llonlyknowifyoustartanotherpenname.Maybewrite

somethingotherthanthatsmutyouenjoysomuch,”hechided.

Idabbedmyfacewiththewashcloth.“Ihaven’tmasteredtheartofdescribingan

actionscenewithgunsandwhatnotforthattohappen.”

“Butyou’vemasteredtheartofcapturingalonelywoman’snaughtydesire?”He

laughedintothephone.

IheldmyhandtomychestasifIwerewounded.“Don’thateonmyfan-base.They

needlove,too.”

“Sodonewlyfreedformerwives.”

Itookasharpbreath.JakeandIhadsupportedeachotherwithnewreleasesand

marketingideas,helpingtofigureoutwhatworkedandwhatdidn’tinthecrazybook

worldwhenmypublisherdidn’tseemtodothetrick.IfIwentforanactionscene,I’d

sendhimthescrapsofideas,andhe’dhelpmeputthemtogether,whileifhehadalove

scene,I’dthrowinmytwocents.Hewasamore“fadetoblack”typeofwriter,whileIput

inmoredetail.

Hewasagreatassociatetohave,andIcareddeeplyforhimandvaluedourlong-

distantfriendship.

“Jake,Ijustdon’tknowhowI’dexplainittoSandra,”Iconfessed.Shewasthe

reasonwhyI’dbeensoleerymywholelifeofwhatIdidwithmycareer.Shewasamazing

andbroughtmeintoherworld,gavemeashotatatruecareer,butatthesametime,she

controlledit.JakewasIndie,andseemedtobekillingthechartsjustfineonhisown.I

hadn’tcrackedthatkindofmagiconmyownyet.Mypublisherwasdeartomyheart,but

whathadtiedustogetherwassomethingIdidn’tknowhowtobreakfreefrom.

“Sandraisyourbossandnotyourmother-in-law.Atleast,notanymore.Ifyoutellher

you’retakingasabbaticaloutofthecountrytogetnewwritingjuice,she’llbefine.Just

promiseheranewmanuscriptbythetimeyou’reback.”

Ichewedmylip,staringatmygreeneyesinthemirror.Jakewasright,shedidn’t

ownme.Ifshewantedtodropme,shewouldhavewhenItoldherMartin,herson,had

smackedmearoundforthelasttimeandthatIwasmeetingwithadivorceattorney.

“Shedoeslovenewmanuscripts,”Iagreed.“Ithasbeenthreemonthssincemylast

release,twosinceI’veactuallywritten.”

Jakesuckedinabreathofair.“That’sahellofalongtime.Ifthattwatofawoman

doesn’tunderstand,thenyourasscanfinallygoIndieandmakesomereallygoodmoney.”

Ilaughed.“I’llletyourunmymarketingcampaign.”

“Maybeifwemeetfacetoface,you’llactuallylistentomeandtakemyadvice,”he

scoldedplayfully.

“Ilisten,itjustseemslikealotofwork.”

“Well,Love,that’showyoubecomesuccessful,”hechuckled.

“Iknowthat,Imeantakingthehitonsplittingroyaltieswasworthnotworryingabout

ittome.”

“Igetit,justthinkaboutit,okay?”Hesaidsincerely,comingbacktomevisitinghim.

“I’vegotasparebedroomthatoverlooksthelake.Achangeofscenerycouldhelpyouget

yourgrooveback.Socouldspendingtimewithalongtimefriend.”

Ismiled,warmthfillingme.“Thanks,Jake.Iappreciatetheoffer.I’llthinkaboutit.

Wecouldevenpostaselfietogether.”

“Abackwardsselfie.Thismugmustremainunknown,”hedeadpanned.

“Istilldon’tunderstandhowthatworkssowellforyou,”Ijokedwithhim.

Although,Ididknowwhyleavinghimselfamysteryworked.Hewasbuiltfromthe

back,strongandfit.Therewereafewshotswherehisjaw-linesnuckinthephoto,

chiseledwithahintofstubble.Itleftwomenwonderingandwanting.Ihadneverallowed

myselftowant,becauseIwasfaithfultomyhusband.Keepingtruefaithtomymarriage

didn’tstopmymindfromwonderingaboutwhathe’dlooklikefromthefront.I’dtriedto

snooparoundhissocialmediaaccounts,clickingonafewoftheotherwebpagesofwho

hadlikedhisphotosorcomments.Hehadsomany,itbecameimpossibletoknowwho

actuallyknewhimoriftheywereloyalreaders.

“Ican’tshowmyfacebecauseofmytopsecretreallifejob,”heteased.Iimagined

himwinking.Heseemedlikethekindofguywhowoulddosillythingslikethat.Jakewas

wonderfulviaemailandoverthetelephone.Therewasonlyoneproblemholdingme

back.

Likeallofhisfans,Ihadneverseenhisface.“Orbecauseyoudon’thaveeyesanda

nose.”

Hebarkedalaughintothephone.“Glasseyesstillcountaseyes.”

Jakewasthereasonforafewofmybeatings.Martinhadrunacrosssomeofour

harmlessemailbanter.Thatwasthefirsttime.Anothertimewaswhenhereadasteamy

portionofamanuscriptJakehadsentme.Hetookitcompletelythewrongway,leaving

mewithablackeyeandbruisedribs.Thatwasmylaststraw.Ifiledfordivorcethenext

day.

I’dnevertoldJakeaboutthephysicalabuse.Hedidn’tneedtohearaboutthat

horriblepartofmylife,onlytheauthoritiesknew.ItwashowIgotawayfromhimso

easily,andhowhisparentsdidn’tcompletelyblamemeforourdivorce.

“I’llgiveyouthat,”Iteased.“Ineedtogettobed.ImighthavetotellSandrathatI’ll

beleavingthecountry.”

“Nowthat’sthespirit,”heencouraged.“I’lllookupflightsforyou.”

Holdingbackayawn,Ishookmyhead.“I’lllookthemuponmyphoneonceIget

intobed.”

“Sleep.It’s7:30atnighthere.I’llcheckbeforeIhankerintowrite.”

“Alright,fine.Screenshotthemandsendthemmyway,”Iconceded,throwingmy

caramelhairintoamessybunandhangingupthewashcloth.“I’lltalktoyoulater.”

“Night,love,”hesaid,hisNewZealandaccentblendingthetwowordstogether.

Hittingmysheets,Itookalonginhaleinandoutofmynose.Beingdonewiththe

courtsandpaperworkwithMartinwasareliefandaloadoffmyshoulders.He’danchored

meforsolongthatI’dlostmyway,butnow,Iwasreadytostartfresh.

ChapterTwo

HandsclampeddownonmyshoulderswhileIwassprawledonmyfront,startlingme

awake.

“Yougotsomethingtotellme?”Martinsnarledinmyear.

Myeyesflungopen.“Whatareyoudoinghere?”Icroaked,fightinghishands.Itwas

nouse,hewasstrongerthanme.

Weweredivorced,andhepromisedhe’dneverbeincontactwithmeagain.Itwasthe

onlyreasonIdeclinedtherestrainingordermylawyerstronglyadvised.

“Don’taskstupidquestions.Yougoingtotellmewhyyou’rebeingsuchaslutand

runningofftothatpussyacrossthecountry?”

HowcouldhepossiblyknowIwascontemplatingavacation?Letalonethesame

countryasJake.I’donlythoughtaboutit.

HedughiselbowintothecenterofmybackandIgasped.“What?Idon’t-”

Twistinghisarm,hejammedhiselbowfurtherintomyspine.“Don’tfuckinglieto

me.Iknowyouwerecheatingonme,youcunt.Howmanytimeshaveyousleptwiththat

sonofabitch?”

“None!”

Martinhadmepinnedtothebed,straddlingme.Mywristswerecapturedwithone

hand,andmovingwasimpossible.Tearsburnedmyeyes,mylungsscreamingatmefrom

thepressure.

“Lying,bitch.That’sallyoueverwere.”

Mymouthopenedtobegforhimtoletmego,butnowordscameout.Noairescaped

either.Hewassmotheringme,andIknewwhatwascomingnext.Italwayshappenedthis

way.

Finally,heremovedhiselbowfrommyback,andmychestexpanded,inhalinga

mouthfullofairbeforeslamminghisbodybackontome,keepingmyhandsclutchedin

his.Thetelltalesoundofhiszippermatchedthehorrorofhishandyankingonmypanties.

“Ifyou’regoingtobeaslut,thenyou’regoingtobeoneforme.”

Ijolteduprightinmybed,myheartracingfromthenightmare.Bothofmyhands

foundmyhead,wipingawaythesweat.Ifannedmyshirtfrommystickyskin.

Myerraticbreathingdidn’tchangethemoreIrelivedthedream.WhatifMartinwas

spyingonme?Iwouldn’tputitpasthim.Itookinmysurroundings,thedarkroom

decoratedinearthtonesonlysoftlylitbythebathroomlight.Whatifhehadacamera

hiddensomewhere?Washetrackingmycellphone?Didhehavesomeonefollowingmy

everymove?Heworkedforhisfather’ssuccessfulmarketingfirmandhadmoney,enough

tohireahitmanifhewantedto.

Ishuddered.ThethoughtofMartinpayingsomeonetokillmeoffwasterrifying.

Takingadeepbreath,mychestexpanded,thenreleasedasIletoutair.

Iwasbeingoutrageous.MartinwasprobablyfuckingsomechickfromTinder.He’d

doneitwhileweweremarried.Nodoubthe’dfindanotherwomantoreplaceme.One

whohadnoself-esteemorsenseofpurpose.Iusedtobethatwoman,butnotanymore.I’d

laidmyfootdownandfoughtback,keepingmyhouseandhalfofourassets.

Nightmaresweren’tgoingtotakemedown,notanymore.Squaringmyshoulders,I

hoppedoutofbed,readytostarttheday,evenifitwerestilldarkout.Thelifeofawriter,

Ilaughedtomyself.

Ifrownedwhenworkingcrossedmymind.Ihadn’tbeenabletokeepastoryline

togetherforthelifeofme.Ineededsomethingfresh,anewstart,adifferentoutlookon

life.

Anadventureofalifetime,somethingchallengingandexotic.

Iglancedatmyphone,awarmthspreadingthroughmystillglisteningbody.

NZThrillWriter:StealofadealonExpedia.NotevenalonglayoverinSydney.

Thescreenshothadnumerousoptionsforflights.I’dbeabletofinanciallycomesee

him,butthereweresomanyfactorsintheway.

AuthorCoraCart:Thanksforlookingthefightsupforme.

NZThrillWriter:Areyougoingtobookit?

Ichewedonmybottomlip.Iwantedto,badly.

AuthorCoraCart:I’mmeetingwithSandrainfourhours.I’lldecideafterItalk

toher.

NZThrillWriter:Don’tletthatwenchdecideforyou.

AuthorCoraCart:Thatwenchpaysthebills.Shouldn’tyoubewriting?

NZThrillWriter:Shouldn’tyoubesleeping?

Ashiverrandownmyback,rememberingmyawfuldream.NotwantingtotellJake

aboutmynightmare,Ioptedfortherealreason.

AuthorCoraCart:I’mgoingtowrite.

NZThrillWriter:It’sabouttime.

ChapterThree

NosentenceswereformedwithinthethreehourtimespanIsatstaringatmy

computerbeforemeetingwithSandraforbreakfast.Itwasbeyondfrustrating,notbeing

abletotypeoutasimplethought.IhadevenconvincedmyselfI’ddoashortstory,

somethingtogetmyfeetwetafterthefewmonthsofwriter’sblock.Still,nothing.The

timecreptuponmylackofcreativity,causingmetoflashthroughashowerandhastily

throwmyhairupintoabuntomeetwithSandra.She’dgivemeaonceover,turningher

noseupatmyjeansandbasicsweater,butIdidn’tcare.She’dseenmeatmybest,and

she’dreallybeappalledtoseemeinapairofleggingsandahoodedsweatshirt,mydaily

choiceofclothingwheneverMartinwasn’taround.

Weagreedtomeetatcoffeeshopssincethebeginningofmynastydivorce.She

complied,althoughshethoughtthatIwasbeingridiculous.Ithoughtsotoo,butmy

lawyerinsistedthatifIweren’tgoingtobegettingarestrainingorder,thenIbetternot

showupinroutineplaceswherehe’dknowI’dbe.Martinhadn’tdealtwiththedivorce

well,andthelastthingIneededwasforhimtoshowuptosayhitomommydearestand

‘accidently’runintome.

“Corrine,”shepurred,standingpromptlyfromherchairtogivemeahug.She

alwaysusedmyfullnameinsteadofmynickname.

Herblackshiftdresshuggedherhipssotightlythatshedidn’tneedtoadjustthe

fabricwhenshestood.“Howhaveyoubeenfeelinglately,darling?I’msureabigweight

hasbeenliftedoffofyourshoulderssincesigningthefinalpaperworkyesterday.”Her

wordsweresincere,butinsideshewasdevastated.Hersonnolongerbeingmarrieddidn’t

fitintoherfairytaleworld.

Ipattedherbackwhilesheembracedme.“Hopingmyheadwillclearsomeforanew

story.”

Shereleasedme,searchingmyface.Shewastryingtoreadmelikealways.“You’ll

thinkofsomething,youalwaysdo!”Shesqueezedmyshouldersthentookaseat.I

followed,sittingacrossfromher,droppingmybagbymyfeet.“I’dliketodiscussanew

contractforathreepartseries.”

Ismiled,gratefulweweregettingrighttobusiness.Shedidn’tneedtopickmybrain

abouttheabsenceofMartin.

“Iwashopingtotalkaboutthat,too.I’vegotafewideas,IthoughtmaybeIcould

branchoutofromance,giveparanormalorchick-litatry.”

Sandra’sliptwitchedthroughhersmile.“Maybeweshoulddoafewmoreromance

series,thendiscusstryinganewgenre.You’reatthetoprightnow,Corrine.Yourfans

wouldbedisappointedifyoupulleda180onthemandwrotetowardanotherreaderbase.”

Ibittheinsidesofmycheeks.“Iguessthat’strue.”

Sandra’sgrinwidened,relievedIcompliedwithherreasoning.“Great!Nothingsays

youcan’tincorporatesnippetsofothergenres,butkeepthemainfocusonromance.”

Iblinkedthroughmysmile.Yeah,keepsexinit,that’swhattheyallreadyourbooks

foranyway,Cora.

“Doyouhaveaplotideainmind?”

Mybottomlipcurledinward.Fidgetingwithapacketofsugar,Ishruggedmy

shoulders.Icouldn’tletherknowIwasstillfacingwritersblock.“I’vegotafewideasin

mind.”

TherewasnobluffingaroundSandra.Herlipspressedtogether.

Tossingthesugarpacketdown,Ineededtoreaffirmher.“Iknowit’sbeenawhile,but

I’llhavesomethingforyousoon.”

“You’vegottwoweekstogivemethirtythousandwords,oryourcontractwithour

publishinghouseisvoid.”

Myeyesbuggedout,mychestbeginningtotighten.“What?”

Shesighed,settingbothherpalmsonthetable.“Look,I’mgoingtobebluntwith

you.Ifyou’renotproducingstoriesinatimelymanner,thenwecan’trepresentyou.”

Myjawhungopen.Shecouldn’tbeserious.“YouofallpeopleknowI’vehadaloton

mymind.”

Sandra’sfrowndeepened.“Yes,andI’mtrulysorryforwhatmysonhasputyou

through.Ithinkifyouwouldhavegivenhimtime,he’dhavechangedhisways.His

therapistinformedMartinSr.andIabouthispositiveprogress.Hewouldhavecome

around,butIunderstand,Cora.Beingabusedisn’teasilyforgotten.”

Hereyeswereheavyasshespoke,aslightcroakhitchingherwords.Shewasbeing

honest,andIshouldhavefeltmoreguiltforleavinghimthanIdid.“Igavehimchances,”

Iwhispered,searchingformystrength.“Icouldn’tdoitanymore.Livingmylifewith

someonewhoneededtocontrolmyeverymove,thenwouldapplyforcewhenIdidn’tdo

ashedemanded…it’snotalife.”

Sandranodded.Sheunderstood,butthesorrowwasevidentinhereyes.Shedidn’t

feelbadforme,shefeltawfulforherabusiveson.Thatwaswhatirkedmethemost.“I

won’tholdyourdecisiontodivorceagainstyou,becauseI’veneverbeeninthesituation,

butIamhereforyou.”Shebitherlip,glancingaroundtheroom.“Look,Icangiveyou

fourweekstofinishthirtythousandwords.Ifyoudon’thaveanythingbythen,I’mafraid

you’llhavetoshopforanotherpublishinghouse.”

Iswallowedthelumpthatformedinmythroat,peelingmyeyesfrommyshort

fingernailstomeethers.“Okay.I’mgoingtogoonahiatusandgetyouyourwords.”

Hershouldersuntightened,abroadsmileflashinginmydirection.“Thatsounds

perfect.Lockingyourselfinthatbig,beautifulhouseMartinworkedhardtopurchasefor

youtobuildafamilyinwillsurelyclearyourhead.Lightsomecandles,runabubblebath,

thewritingflowwillbetherebeforeyouknowit.”

Igrinnedandnodded,ignoringherattempttohidehowbittershewasthatIgotthe

houseinthedivorce.“GettingawayfromeveryoneisexactlywhatIneed.”

Shepattedthetopofmyhand.“I’llevenleaveyoualoneforthosefourweeks.”

Goodthing,becauseIwouldn’thavemetherforourweeklycoffeeandbooktalk.I’d

behalfwayacrosstheworld,gettingmywritingflowbackwithamanI’dnevermetin

person.

ChapterFour

AuthorCoraKart:WhatareyoudoingThursday?

NZThrillWriter:Plannedontakingthebikeforaspin.

AuthorCoraKart:Isyourbikebigenoughtopickupmyluggage?

Jake’snamespreadacrossthescreenonmyphone.“Didyoufinallycometoyour

sensesandbookaflight?”

Istaredatmydesktop,apossibleitinerarytoNewZealandonthescreen.“AllIneed

todoishitconfirm.”

“Well,whatareyouwaitingfor?”

Irockedintheofficechair,pullingmylegsupandcrossingthem.“There’sonlyone

issueI’mhaving.”

“Andwhatwouldthatbe?Ifyouuseyourbossasanexcuse,I’mgoingtogoand

reservethatplaneseatforyou.”

Ilaughed.“No,sheagreedIshouldtakeabreakfromreality.Sheevengavemea

deadline,otherwiseI’llbeterminatedfrommycontract.”

“Maybeyou’llfinallyseethelightandpublishIndie.”

“I’llmakethedeadline.I’mnotreadytodoitallonmyown.”

“Thenwhat’sstoppingyou?”

Isighed,switchingtabsonthecomputertoJake’ssocialmediapage.Heposteda

photofromhismorningbikeride.Thesideofhishelmetwasinview,alongwithaspanof

mountains,snowcoveringthetopswhilethebottomswerefilledwithgreeneryand

flowers,anepiclakeseparatingthem.“It’snotimportant.”

“Ifit’skeepingyoufromvisitingme,yourfavoritefriend,it’simportant.”

“I’mjustfearfulfortheunknown.”Itwasn’talie.Ihadneverbeenoutofthecountry,

orflownonanairplanewithoutMartin.Hewouldn’tletmetravelunlesswewere

together.

“DoyouwantmetomeetyouinSydneyandflyherewithyou?”

Isnorted.“Iwouldn’tbeabletorecognizeyou.”

Silencebrokebetweenus.Itwaspainful,butI’dbelyingifIsaiditdidn’tmatter.His

appearancewouldn’tkeepmeflyingthereandspendingtimewithhim,butitconstantly

naggedatmefornotevenknowingthecolorofhiseyes,orifhissmilematchedthe

warmthinhisvoice.

“IfIsentyouapictureofmyself,wouldyoubooktheflight?”

“No,”Isaidquickly,nearlycuttinghimoff.“I’mnotshallow,Jake.Icouldn’tcare

lesswhatyoulooklike,but…”Iclosedmymouth,notwantingtohurthisfeelings.

“It’sunnerving,”hefinishedforme.

Myhandfoundmyhead.“IfItoldanyonethatIwasflyingacrosstheworldtomeet

someoneIhadneverseenbefore,they’dcallmecrazy.”

“Doesitmatterwhateveryoneelsethinks?”

Isighed,clickingbacktothetabwiththeitinerary.“No,itmostdefinitelydoesn’t.”

Especiallynotnow.Martindidn’thaveaholdonmeanymore.Hecouldn’thurtme

again.WhocaresifIdidsomethingthatwascompletelyrecklessandstupid?

Ihadnothinglefttolose.

Ihoveredovertheconfirmbuttonwiththemouse.“Youpromiseyourbikeisbig

enoughtopickmeandmymonth’sworthofluggage?”

Jakecoughed.“Amonth?Really?”

Myhandtwitchedonthemouse.“Icanchangethedates.”

“No,”hesaidquickly.“No,amonthwouldbespectacular.I’vetoldyou,you’re

welcometocomeforanyamountoftimetostaywithme.You’llbestuckwiththismug

shot.Icouldjustwalkaroundbackwardssoyou’llfeelmorecomfortable,youknow,it’ll

belikemyphotosonline.”

Coveringmyface,Imuffledintothephone,“Inevershouldhavesaidanything.”

Jakechuckled.“Don’tworryaboutit,Love.Itwouldbeashame,though…”

“Whatwouldbe?”

“IfIhadwalkedaroundbackwardsthewholetime.”

“I’dimagineyou’dberunningintothingsleftandright,”Ilaughed.

“Mostlikely,buttherealshamewouldbenotseeingyourlovelyfacewheneverI

wanted.”

Mybreathcaughtinmythroat.Hisvoicedeepened,thefunlovinghumorthatshifted

myfrownintosmilesevened.Itheldmore,ayearningI’dneverallowedmyselftofeel

towardhim.

“It’snotthatlovelywhenIwakeup,”Ijoked,wantingthenewfluttersinmystomach

togoaway.

Helaughed,hishappy-go-luckypersonalityreturning.“I’llbethejudgeofthat.”

Plantingthepointerofthemouseontheconfirmbutton,Iclickedit.“Guessso.I’ll

forwardyoumyflightinformation.”

“Didyouconfirm?”

“Justdid,I’mforwardingyouinformationnow.”

“Woohoo!CoraKartiscomingtoseeme!”Hecheered.

Ishookmyhead,asmilesowidespreadingacrossmyfacethatithurtmycheeks.

“Ohmygosh!Stop!”

Helaughed,andIclosedmyeyesatthesound.SoonI’dbeabletoseehimlaugh.I

imaginedwhathewouldlooklikeinmyhead,mixingdifferentshadesofeyecolors,nose

styles,andcheekbones.Werehiseyebrowsthick?Barelytherethin?Didhehavecreases

onhisforehead?Wasthereamopofhairunderneaththehatsandhelmetshealways

wore?Oronlyabuzzcut?Iknewhisbodytype.Thebroadshouldersandstronglegs

lookedgreatfrombehind,andthelowacheinmystomachthathaddisappearedforyears

wasbeginningtosimmer.

“I’llmakeuptheguestroom,then.Shepleywillbeconfusedforabit,mighteventry

tojumpintobedwithyou.”

Irolledmyeyes.“Yourcatwouldhaveitsownroom.”

“He’sweirdaboutsleepingwithme.Isnore,”hejoked.“Mightbeobsessedwithyou,

hehasathingforlonghair.”

“GuessI’llkeepitinabun.”

“Ah,somethingforhimtopawatinthemiddleofthenight.Actually,I’mbeginning

togetjealousofthecat.”

Iflushed.Washeexpectingmorethanawritingpartnerfromthisvisit?

Ichangedthesubject.“Ishouldgetgoing.I’vegotalotofpackingtodo.”

“Thatyoudo.I’lltalktoyoulater,Love.”

ButterflieswereinmystomachwhenIhungup,theexcitementofmeetinghim

becomingareality.Jumpingoutofthechair,Irantothebasementtogetmyluggage

cases.IhadaplethoraofthingstodobeforeThursdaystrolledaround.

ChapterFive

“Cora,I’msogladyoucalledmetoday,”Stephanie,myneighborfromacrossthe

streetsquealed.Weweresittinginthefoodcourtofthelocalmall,shoppingbagsspewed

arounduswhileweatePadThai.

“Ineededtogetout,”Isighed,twirlinganoodlewithmyfork.Turnsout,whenI

wenttopackclothesforNewZealand,myclosetwasslimtonone.Notmuchfit,andthe

remainingoutfitsweren’tappealing.Thefewdecentoutfitssaggedonmybody.Ihad

beentoostressedtoeatthelastfewmonths.Itshouldn’thavematteredtome,butthefire

thatwasclosetobeingblownoutinsideofmewasbeginningtoflicker,andIwanted

somenewoutfitstoaccentuatetheflames.Maybeitwouldhelpastorytoemergefrom

mybrain.

“You’vebeenhardtoreachlately.I’msurehavingthedivorcebehindyouhelps.

ThankGodyougotridofthatasshole,”shegrumbled.“Charliecouldn’tstandhimatthe

blockparties.Healwayshopedyouallwouldcancel,nooffense.”

Iraisedmyhands.“Nonetaken.Hewasn’tonetoassociatewithneighbors.”

“That’salright,weenjoyedyourcompany,nothis!Sowhyarewebuyingallthese

newsummeroutfits?Youdoknowablizzardwillbeherebeforeweknowit,right?”

Itwiddledwithmyfork,myeyeswatchingthenoodlesswirl.“I’mgoingoutof

town.”

Stephaniebeamed.“Yeah?Goodforyou!HeadingtoFlorida?”

Ismiled.EveryonethoughtofFloridawhentheypicturedsomewherewarm,atleast

whenyoulivedintheMidwestlikeus.

“Notquite.”

Shewaitedformetotellher,noddingherheadinmydirection.“Well?Whereareyou

going?”

Isuckedinmycheeksandsquintedmyeyes.“NewZealand.”

Herlashestouchedhereyebrows.“Wow!What’sinNewZealand?”

“Ihaveanauthorfriendwholivesthere.Goingtovisitandworkonamanuscript.”

Sheclappedherhands.“Oh!AreyouworkingonanotherbookintheDoveSeries?I

justlovethatcouple!Andsosteamy,CharlielikestheperkshegetswhenIreadyour

books,”shewinked.

Igrinned.“Ineedtoworkonanewseries.NotsurewhatdirectionI’mtakingyet.”

“Aslongasthere’sahotalphamalewhoknowshowtogodownonagirl,it’llbea

bestseller.”

Iheldinmylaughter.“Publishersaysithastobearomance,soIcanguaranteethat.”

Shetookasipofherdrink,lickingherlips,thenblottingthemwithhernapkin.“DoI

knowtheauthoryou’regoingtostaywith?”

Ishookmyhead,pretendingtopickapieceoflintfrommyjeans.

“Whoisit?Doesshewriteromance?MaybeIcancheckherbooksout,”shesaid

thoughtfully,takinganothersipofherdrink.

Isighed,unsureifIshouldtellheraboutJake.Givingin,Ieasedaroundthesubject.

“Yeah,hedoesn’twriteromance,really.”

Waterspilledfromherlips.“Didyousayhe?”

Ishrugged.“Yeah.Hewritesaction.It’shelpfultohaveauthorfriendswhowritein

differentgenresincaseyoucrossover.Givesagoodperspectiveoncreatingscenesyou’re

notusedtowriting.”

Hereyesnarrowed,adevioussmilespreadingacrossherlips.“Ishehot?”

Irolledmyeyes.“Iknewyou’dtakethisthewrongway.”

Shewavedahandatme.“What?Thatyou’reescapingacrosstheworldtostaywitha

guy?No,thatdoesn’traisearedflagatall.Howlonghaveyouknownhim?”

“Aroundfiveyears?Imethiminanauthorsupportgroup.”

Shecoveredhermouth.“You’vebeenwithhimforthatlong?DidMartinfindout?Is

thatpartofthereasonwhyyoufinallydivorcedhim?”

Iheldinmyeyeroll.Stephaniedidn’tknowhewasabusivetowardmephysically.At

leastIneveradmittedtoit.“Ididn’thaveanaffair,andit’snotlikethat.We’re

associates…friends.Wedon’tthinkabouteachotherlikethat.”

Iswallowed,ignoringthescenariosI’dthoughtupinmyheadaftermineandJake’s

phoneconversationlastnight.Thegravellysoundofhisvoicewhenhesaidhe’dbe

jealousofhiscatsleepingwithmehitmebetweenthelegs,awakeningatingleinsideof

me.

“Well,letmeseeaphotoofhim,”shedemanded,noddingtomyphone.

Itookitout,scrollingtohispage.“Here.”

Hereyesnarrowedthemoreshescrolled.“Doesn’thehaveanyfaceshots?”

Ilaughed,knowingshe’dbedisappointed.“Nope.Thatdoesn’tmattertomebecause

wearefriends,”Iemphasized.“I’mnotinterestedinseeingamanrightnow.”

Ihadafearofbeingintimatewithmen.ThelasttimeIhadsexualinteractionwas

withMartin,anditwasn’tconsensual.It’snotsomethingagirlcaneasilyforget,evenifit

werethreemonthsago.

Sheliftedherbrows,staringatmyphone.“Hecouldhaveabutterfaceandstillbe

sexy.Lookatthosearms,andthatass…I’dlovetosinkmynailsintothoseroundglobes

whilehoveredovertopofme,”shepurred,lickingherlips.

“Wouldyoustop?I’mgoingtotellCharlieyou’redroolingoversomedude’sback.”

Sheshrugged.“Hedoesn’tcare.Whateverturnsmeonandgetshimaction…atleast

that’swhatCharlietellsme.”

Webothlaughed.Charliewasagreathusbandtoher.Iwasjealousoftheir

relationshipforaslongasIknewthem.

Standingfromthetable,Igatheredmytrashontomytray.“Weshouldheadhome.I

wanttowashallofthesebeforeIpackthemaway.”

Stephaniedidthesame.“Weneedtostopatonemorestore.”Sheheldoutherfinger.

“Nocomplainingaboutit,either.Ifyou’regoingtoNewZealandtoseeadudewholooks

sexyasshitfrombehind,you’regoingtobepreparedforallopportunities.”

Iopenedmymouthtoprotest,butsheshotmeaglare.“Myanniversaryiscomingup,

andIneedsomenewlingerie,nowthatIknowwhatIknow,youneedsome,too.”

“Steph,really,it’snotlikethat,”Ifeigned,althoughdeepdownmycuriosityfor

intimacywithJakewasslowlyrising.

Shetookourtraysandtossedthem,thengrabbedmywrist,leadingmealong.“You

needtobepreparedincaseitislikethat.”

ChapterSix

ThechillywinterairwassettlinginIllinois,whippingmeinthefacewhileIremoved

myluggagefromthebackofStephanie’sPrius.Sheshooedthecabdriverfrommy

driveway,insistingshedropmeoffinstead.

IthinkshewantedtomakesureIpackedthebarelytheirscrapsoffabricshe

demandedIbuy.Lingeriewasn’tsomethingIwore,evenwhenMartinandIwerefirst

together.Irefusedtotryanyoftheundergarmentsoninthestore,sowhoknewifthey

evenfit.

Stephaniestrolledtothebackofthecar,meetingmebythetrunk.“Iwantyoutotext

metheminuteyougettoyourfirstlayover,theneveryotheroneafterthat.”

Zippingmyhoodedsweatshirt,Igaveheranappeasingnod.Shedidn’tneedtobe

concerned,butatthesametimeitfeltgoodtohavesomeonewhocared.“I’lltextyou.

Thanksfortheride.”

Shethrewherarmsaroundme,squeezingmetight.“Ofcourse.You’reliterallyoneof

myclosestfriends.Iknowthatmaysoundweirdbecausewe’reneighbors,butIdocare

aboutyou.”

“Youjustlikemeformywords,”Iteased,huggingherback.

“Maybealittle,”shekidded.

Wereleasedeachotheratthesametime.“Besafe,”shesaidquietly.“Iknowyou’ve

talkedtohimforalongtime,butpeopleontheinternetaren’talwayswhotheyseemto

be.”

Andthereitwas.Thesamefearthatwasburieddeepinsideofme.IfeltlikeIknew

him,butdidIreallyknowhim?

“Iwill.Ipromise.”

Acarhonkedatus.“Alright,I’mmoving!”Stephanieshouted,wavingatthe

impatientcar.“Damnpick-uplanesarefullofcrankypeople.Talktoyousoon!”

Throwingmypurseovermyshoulder,Istackedtherestofmyluggageandheaded

forthecheck-inline.O’Harewassuchapainintheass.I’dnevermaneuveredaround

withoutMartin.Itwasawholenewexperience.AlthoughIwasterrified,itwasthrillingat

thesametime.

Aftercheckingmybagandclearingthroughsecurity,Istoodinfrontofthegiant

screenofflights,movingbackandforthbetweenmyticketonmyphoneandtheendless

flightnumbers.Afterlocatingmygate,Iheadedthere,snaggingacoffeeontheway.I

madeitwithtwohourstospare.Findingmywayaroundtheairportonmyownwaseasier

thanIanticipated.Beingindependentmightjustworkoutforme.

Glancingatmyphone,Idebatedwhattodowiththesparetime.Mygatewasloading

theflightbeforemine,leavingplentyofspacestoloungeuntilmyplanearrived.

NZThrillWriter:Youonyourwaytotheairport?

AuthorCoraKart:Sittingatmygate.

NZThrillWriter:Whyareyoutheresoearly?Thatexcitedtoseeme?

AuthorCoraKart:Ididn’ttrustmyselftonotgetlostafewtimes.Notreallysure

whattodowithmyself.

NZThrillWriter:Pluginandwrite.Didn’tyousayyouhadadeadline?

Ibobbedmyheadbackandforth.Hewasright.Maybethebusyairportwouldbea

bigenoughchangeofsceneryformetostartoutlining.

AuthorCoraKart:Goodidea.I’mgoingtodothat.

NZThrillWriter:Idohavethebestideas.I’llstalkyouintheair.Enjoyyour

flight,Love.

AuthorCoraKart:Messageyoulater:o)

Myheartpitter-patteredwhenIreadthewordLove.Ishookmyheadandshovedmy

phoneinmyfronthoodiepocket.HealwayscalledmeLove.Itwassimplyafriendly

nickname.

Searchingthearea,Ifoundaspotnearanoutlet.Rummagingthroughmybag,I

grabbedmychargerandpluggedin,settingmyselfupcomfortablyforthenextfewhours.

Theinternetandmyphoneweren’tgoingtodistractme.Iwasdeterminedtozoneintoan

ideaandwritemyheartout.

Imanagedtowrite200words,onlytodelete160ofthem.HowonearthwasIgoing

towritethirtythousandinfourweeksatthisrate?Truthwas,Ijustcouldn’tdoasappy

lovestoryrightnow.I’dbeenabusedbysomeonewhosocalled‘lovedme.’Iwasmixed

upinsideonwhatthosefeelingswere.

UnlessIstartedamysteryread.Themaincharactercouldbefriendswithamanshe’d

nevermetinperson,orhadevenseen,onlytofallforhimbecauseofhispersonality.I

archedabrowasIthoughtabouttheplotline,refusingtocompareittomysituation.We

wereonlyfriends.

Myfingersflewonthekeyboardwiththeidea,onlytobeshutdownwiththeflight

attendantannouncingitwasmytimetoboard.

“Figures,”Imumbled,shuttingdownmylaptopandslippingitintomybag.I’dhave

tokeepmyfocusandtrytopickupwhereIleftoffontheplane.Ihadashortflight

comparedtowhatmysecondonewouldbe,butit’dgivemetimetograspthesmidgenof

anideaandsortitoutinmyhead.

ChapterSeven

Iwasonthelastlegofmyflights.I’dspentroughlytwentyhoursinatwenty-sixhour

periodonthesameairplane.Beingtired,yetwired—wasmycurrentsituation.I’dbeen

onandoffmylaptop,tryingtomakesomethingofmyidea,butonlysquasheditwhenI’d

relateittoreallife.Icouldn’tstopthinkingaboutJake,replayinghowwe’dreacttoeach

other’spresence.DoIhughim?DoIshakehishand?Wave?Whatwouldhebewearing?

Oneofthosedamnt-shirtsfromhisbookseries?Wouldithughismusclesasnicein

personastheydidinthephotos?

Fuck.Ineededtostoplookingathisscreenshotsasifhewasapieceofmeat.Ever

sinceStephaniepointedouthownicehisbuttwas,Icouldn’ttakemyeyesoffofit

Theplanewasbeginningtodescend,andIheldmyphonetightlyinmyhand.OnceI

landed,IwasinstructedtocallJake,givinghimenoughtimetomakeittothepick-uplane

andgetme.

IaskedhimhowI’dknowwhohewas,heonlysentawinky-faceemojiandsaidhe’d

makehimselfknown.AsmuchasIlovedhisfunlovingpersonality,hiswitonlymademe

morenervousforourmeeting.ForallIknew,hewaspullingmylegandlivedinhis

parent’sbasementdownthestreetfromme,draggingmealongintosomeweirdgame.

Myheartracedwiththethought.Whatifthiswasallabigjoke?WhatifJakewasn’t

evenarealperson?Takingsharpinhales,Icoachedmyselftobreathe.Worstcase

scenario?Iwasrightandwouldplantmyselfatsomehotelandwrite.Thatwasthepoint

ofthistriptobeginwith.

Thewheelsoftheplanemetthetarmac,bumpingalonguntiltheplaneslowedtoa

steadypace.Unbucklingmyseatbeltbeforethesignwason,Icontinuedtobreathe.Iwas

here,inNewZealand,meetingalongtimefriend,ignoringtheobviouscrushIhad

developedforhimthroughouttheyears.

Takingoutmyphone,Imessagedhim.

AuthorCoraKart:I’mhere.

NZThrillWriter:Isawyoulanded.I’llseeyousoon.Lookforyoursign.

AuthorCoraKart:Can’twait.Thisbetternotbeajoke.

NZThrillWriter:What?

AuthorCoraKart:Imean,youbetterbehere.

Istaredatmyphone,waitingforaresponse.Thedingoftheseatbeltbutton

interruptedmyanxiousgaze.Passengershurriedalong,impatienttogetofftheplane.I

couldn’tblamethem.ItwasthesameplanethattookusfromtheStatestoNewZealand.

We’dbeeninsidethesedamnwallsforwhatfeltlikeforever.Fortunately,Ihadmyown

rowforthefifteenhourflight.

Oncemycarry-onwaspulleddownfromabove,Icheckedmyphoneagain,onlyto

findnoanswer.

I’dkillhim.IswearI’dfindwherethatassholelivedandI’dshoothim.

ThisplacewastinycomparedtothemonsterofanairportO’Hare.IthoughtI’dget

lost,buttherewasonlyoneplacetogo,andeveryoneonmyflightwasheadedthatway.I

stayedwiththecrowd,walkingdownarowofstairstoluggageclaim.

Mymessagestillonlyhadmyresponse,andJakehadn’tevenseenwhatIwrote.I

begantoshake.Didhereallystandmeup?I’dbeendumbenoughtostayinanabusive

relationshipforsevenyears,obviouslyIwasevenmoreofanidiotfortravelingaround

theworldtomeetsomeoneIhardlyknew.

“Jackass,”Igrumbledundermybreath,shovingmyphoneinmybackpocket

forcefully.BythetimeIlookedupfrommyphone,Iwasatthebottomofthesteps,anger

seepingfromme.

ThenIsawhim,facingthewindowthatleadtotheparkinglot.Iknewthatback,a

darkgrayt-shirtcoveringabroadsetofmuscles,hisbookserieslogodeadcenterofhis

shoulderblades.Heworeablackbaseballcapwithshort,darkhaircoveringthebackof

hishead.Onehandwasinhisfrontpocket,whiletheotherwasholdingapieceof

crumpledpaper-AuthorCoraKart.

Ifrozetenfeetfromhim,standingstillinthemadnessoftravelers.Hewasright

there,notricksorgames,notacompletelydifferentperson,buttheJakeIknewasan

associateandaverygoodfriend.

HewastallerthanIimagined,althoughstilllean,hewasbigandstrong.Noone

wouldmesswithhimiftheycrossedhispath.Hewasintimidating,yetacalmingof

comfortwashedovermeasIexaminedhim.Thiswasthemoment;Iwasfinallygoingto

seehisfeatures.

Panicconsumedme,myhandsflewintomyhair,runningthroughitoverandover,

cursingmyselffornotchangingoutofmyhoodedsweatshirtandjeansintooneofmy

newoutfitsthatmademefeelgirlyandconfident.Ihadhardlyputanymakeupon,only

somemascara,andsurelymylipglosshadrubbedoffbynow.Iwasahotmess.

Idesperatelysearchedforabathroombeforeheturnedaroundtofindme,buttomy

horrorhetookhisphoneoutofhispocketandswipedthroughit.Myownphonebuzzed,

multipleheadslookingmywayasitcarriedonfromanincomingtext.

Iclenchedmyeyesclosed,fumblingwithittoturnoffthevolume,butitwastoolate.

He’dheardit,andthesleekjawlinecoveredinstubblethatI’donlyseenafractionof

cameintofullblownview.

Holdingmybreath,Itookhiminfromheadtotoe.Typicalcrosstrainerscoveredhis

feetwithnoshowsocks.Movingmyeyesupward,Isawapairofwell-tonedandtanned

calvesfrombikeridingintheNewZealandterrain.Hiscargoshortsweretohisknees,no

doubthidingstrongthighs.Heheldhissignacrosshisstomachnow,shakingitslightly.

“Cora?”Hisdeeptimbredistractedmefrommyperusal.

MybreathhitchedwhenImethisgaze.Hewasevenmoreattractiveinpersonthan

whatIhadimagined.Hisjawtrickledwithstubble,archingwhenhesmiled,revealing

perfectwhiteteethagainsthistannedskin.Hishatcoveredhisforehead,butitdidn’thide

hisbeautifulbrowneyes,accentuatedwithdarkeyelashes.I’dkillforeyelashesthatthick.

Hesquintedwhenhesmiled,afewlinescreasingattheedgesofhiseyes.Evenhisnose

wasperfect,nottoosmallortoobig.

Heclearedhisthroat.“AreyouCoraKart?”

Inoddedmyhead,lickingmylipsandswallowingbackthedrynessthathadformed.

“Ium…yes.Iam.Areyou…Jake?”IaskedeventhoughIalreadyknew.

“Actually,I’mhisdriver.”

Myshouldersagged,buthismischievousgrinhelpedmecatchon.

“You’reaterribleliarinperson,too.”

Hetiltedhisheadandlaughed,afamiliarsoundtohelpbackupmyinstinctonwho

hereallywas.

Hepacedthetenfeetbetweenus,holdingbothhandsintheair.“Youcaughtme.”

“Iknewbyyourlaugh,”Ismiled,achingtoreachoutandtouchhim.Hewasreallya

realperson.Thereliefinsideofmeeasedmyanxiety.

Heshookhishead,asmilestillplantedonhislips.Pointingtothelogoonhisshirt,

hesaid,“Ithoughtthesignandmyshirtmightgivemeaway.”

“You’reright,but,youcouldhavebeenacrazedfan,stalkingourconversations,

kidnappingtherealJakethenplottingtocaptureme,throwmeinatrunkanddrugme,

onlytobringmetoacellarwheretheyhadyoulockedaway,thenforceustorecreate

scenesfromourbooks.”

Jakeblinked,thenburstoutlaughing,wrappinganarmaroundmyshouldertoguide

metotheluggagecarousel.“You’resuchawriter.Ithinkit’stimeforyoutobranchout

intothrillers,ormaybehorror.”

Iflushed.Speakingmyobsceneideaswasn’tanormforme.Blurtingoutmyasinine

ideasdidn’tseemtobotherJake,probablybecausehesharedthesamecreativeandwacky

mind.

Westoodwiththegroupofpassengersfrommyflight,Jake’sarmstillacrossmy

shoulders.

Ilookeduptohim,studyinghisfacialfeatures.“You’realottallerthanyoulookin

yourpictures.”

“Standingamongstmountainswillmakeatallmanlookverticallychallenged.

Although,Ithoughtforsureyou’dbeastallasme.”

Mybrowsfurrowedathim.“Really?”

Hewinked,andmyheartfluttered.“No,Iassumedyouwereshortashell.Areyou

evenfivefeettall?”

Ielbowedhisside,causinghimtoletoutanoomph.Crossingmyarms,Idefended

myself.“I’mfiveone,thankyou.”

“Andfeisty,”hechuckled.“Iknewthat,though.”Hispalmsqueezedmyshoulder,

pullingmesooursidesweretouching.

Myheadtiltedintohisshoulder.“JustlikeIknowhowbigofasmartassyouare.”

“Can’tdenythat.”

Thesoftstrokeofhisfingersbrusheddownmybicep,andIclosedmyeyes.The

contactthatI’dbeenterrifiedtosharewithamanbecauseofMartinwasn’tthere.This

touchingfeltinsanelygood.Almosttoogood.Ineededtobecarefulwithhimandremind

myselfwhyIwashere.Wewereworkassociatesandfriends.Thiswasn’ttoexploreany

intimatefeelingsthathadbeenstirringinsideofmeforthepastweektowardhim.

Isteppedoutofhishold,takingabigbreathandheadingtowardtheconveyorbeltas

ifIsawmyluggage.Thespacewasneeded,especiallywhenhesmelledsodamngood.It

wasamixoffreshnessfromtheoutdoorsandaheadyscentofsoapmadeforaman.

Alltoosoonmybagemergedfromthepile,slowlytrekkingtowardme.Iyankedit

offthebelt,nearlyfallingoverfromthesizeofit.Jakewasbesidemeinaninstant,

sweepinginandtakingitfromme.“Letme.Idon’twantittotipoverandsmashyou.”

“Haha,asifI’veneverheardtheshortjokesbefore,”Iteased.

“Comeon,it’saboutafortyminutedrivetomyplacefromhere.Youhungry?Wecan

stopsomewhere,orifyou’rewillingtowait,Icanmakeyouthebesthamburgeryou’ll

evereat.”

Iwashungry,butIneededashowermore.“Icanwait.”

Followinghimoutoftheairportandintotheparkinglot,Ispottedhismassiveblack

truck.Itsportedthesamelogoinadecalonthebackastheoneonhisshirt.Hewasgood

atadvertisinghisbrandthatwasforsure.

“Irecognizethistruck,”Ihummed,headingtowardthepassengerside.

Hethrewmybagintheback,situatingitsoitwouldn’tmove.“Yeah,Igetnoticed,”

heteased,throwingmeanotherwink.Avertingmygazefromhis,Iopenedthedoor.I

meltedinsidefromhisplayfulgaze.

Onesideofhislipquirkedupward.“Yougoingtodrive?”

Iglancedinsidethetrucktofindthesteeringwheel,thenblushed.“Sorry,didn’t

realizeyoudriveontheoppositesideoftheroadasusintheStates.”

“Right,wellyouwanttogiveitago?”Heheldhishandtothesteeringwheel.

Ishookmyheaddrastically,backingawayfromthetruck.“Noway!”

“Alrightthen,maybetomorrow.”

“Howaboutnever,”Icoughed,findingthepassengerside.

Heclimbedintohisseat,stillchucklingfrommyreaction.

ItwasweirdsittingonthesideIwasusedtodrivingon,yettherebeingnosteering

wheel.Itwasevenmoreawkwarddrivingontheoppositesideoftheroad.Ifoundmyself

leaningtowardJakewheneveracardrovepassedusontheroad.

“AmIhuggingtheline?”

Ishookmyhead,tiltingtowardhimagainasasemi-truckblastedby.

“Okay,”hegrumbled,reachingovertomyseatbeltandunfasteningit.

“Whatareyoudoing?”

Withoutsayingaword,hegrabbedmyarm,yankingmesoIwasinthemiddleseatof

thetruck.

“Nowitwon’tfeellikeoncomingtrafficisabouttorailintoyou.”

Anothertruckwasapproaching,andIwinced,scootinguntiloursideswerepressed

againsteachother.

Jakelaughedunderhisbreath,snakinganarmbehindmyshoulder,pullingmeinto

him.“Iguessthisisonewaytogetagirltotouchme.”

Iopenedoneeyetoseethetruckhadpassed,lettingoutthebreathI’dbeenholding.

“It’dhavetobeanAmerican.”

Hisliptwitchedupward.“Maybethat’swhatI’vewanted.”

Iglancedathim,thestormofnervesbrewinginmygut.Ishouldhavebeenmore

terrifiedofthem,shovingthemdownintomysoulandignoringthem,butinsteadIstayed

put,myheartthrummingfromthesimplebrushofJake’sarmalongmyshoulders.

ChapterEight

Jakedrovedownadirtpath,swervingbytreesandshrubs.Adecentsizeranchcame

intoview,coveredinstone.“Hereweare.”

Ishimmiedfromhisside,ignoringthecoldnessthatcamewithhisabsence.

Itookinhishome,surprisedbyhowputtogetheritwas.Nothingaboutitscreamed

bachelor.Thelandscapingwasminimal,butthescenerybeyonditwastodiefor.

Afterhepulledintothegarage,Ihoppedoutofthetruck,throwingmybagovermy

shoulder.Jakefollowed,takingoutmyluggagefromthebedofthetruck.Hisgaragewas

fairlynormalforaman.Atoolbenchwasofftothesidebytheentrancetohishome,

surprisinglyorganized.Therewereshelveswithcratesfilledwithgaragegoodies,neatly

inplace.Hismountainbikewasupsidedownontheconcrete,onewheelremovedwitha

fewtoolsontopofatowelbesideit.Anotherbikewasuprightbyakickstand.

Hefollowedmylineofsight.“That’smyprideandjoy.GivingheratuneupbeforeI

takeyouforaride.”

“That’dbefun,butwe’dhavetostartslow.I’musedtosittingonastationarybike.”

“GoodthingforyouIknowofafewtrails.Comeon,Shepley’sexcitedtomeetyou.”

Irolledmyeyes.Ihadneverhadapetbefore,soIdidn’tunderstandthecamaraderie

theybrought.IguessitmadesenseforJake.Heneverpostedortalkedmuchabouthis

family,onlyabouthisbooks,cat,andhobbies.Beingburiedupinthesemountainswas

solitude.Hedidn’thaveneighborslikeIdidinsuburbia.

Ifollowedhiminside,unsurewhatI’dbeinfor.I’dseenpicturesofhisbackporch,

butnotofthehouseasawhole.Itwasverymodern,sleekfurniturefilledthespace,taking

averymodtonewithitsgrayscaleforcolors.Therewereabstractpaintingsontheliving

roomwalls.ThedarkhardwoodcreakedunderneathmyfeetwhenIfollowedhiminside.

“Yourhomeisbeautiful,”Icomplimented,searchingthetallceilingsthenintothekitchen.

Afurryanimalwithalong,grayandblacktigerstripetailswayedasitprancedtoward

Jake,rubbingagainsthisleg.“Heythere,mate.I’vegotaguestforus.”

Jakestoppedtostrokethecat,scratchingitsears,thenstood.“Comeon,I’llshowyou

yourroom.”

Ifollowedhimthroughthekitchen,stoppingtogivethecataquickpet.Hemeowed

andfollowedusthroughthekitchen.Icouldn’thelpbutnoticethefancycoffeemakerand

othergadgetsalongthecountertops.Jakemusthavebeenadecentcook,orhewasa

suckerforlatenightinfomercials.Theywereshiny,alongwitheverythingelseinhis

house.I’dneverimaginedamankeepingahomesocleanandtidyofclutter.Especiallya

writer.

“Hereyouare.Bathroomsdownthehall.Setyourthingswhereveryou’dlike.”

Droppingmysuitcasenexttothedresser,henoddedtowardthebed.Ithadasimplewhite

comforterwithanabundanceofpillows.“I’vegotmoreblanketsifyouneedthem.”

“Imightneedmorepillows,”Ideadpanned.

Heblinkedatme,thengrinned.“I’llbesuretogetyousome.”

Shepleymoseyedintotheroom,rubbingagainstmyleg.Jakebentdownandpicked

himup,thecat’searswentsideways,buthisbodyrelaxedintoalimpnoodle.“Now,

Shepley,youbenicetoCora.She’sgoingtobunkinhereforaslongasshe’dlike.You’ll

havetosettleforsleepingwithmeoronthecouch.”

Ismiled,pettingthecat’shead.“I’llleavethedoorcrackedopenincasehewantsto

snuggle.”

“WhatifIwantasnug?”Jakepouted.

Mytonguecaughtinmythroat,unsurehowtorespond.Ienjoyedwhenheputhis

armaroundmeattheairportandinthecar,butinabed…itmightleadtomorethanIwas

readyfor.

“Shepley,youbetternotpicktocuddlewithheroverme,”heteased,thensetthecat

backontheground.

Ilaughedtohidemyembarrassment.Ofcoursehemeantcuddlingwiththecat,not

me.

Jakesentmeasmirked.HeknewwhatIwasthinking,andIslowlywantedtodie

inside.

“I’mgoingtogogetdinnerrolling.Cozyinforawhile.”Hestrolleddownthehall

withhishandsinhispockets.Themomentheturnedthecorner,Isprawledonthebed,

coveringmyface.Thecatjumpednexttome,pawingatmyarm.“WhywouldIthink

he’dwanttosnugglewithmeoveryou?”Iaskedthecat,pettinghim.Hepurredloudly,

nudgingmyhandwithhishead.

Isighed,tryingtoprocessmythoughts.Whydidhehavetobesodamnattractive?

Moreso,whydidIkeeptellingmyselfhewouldn’tbe?Isawhisphysiquefrombehind,it

indicatedasexyasshitbody.WhydidIthinkhewasphotoshopped?Hispersonalityhad

capturedmefromthebeginning,butholycrow,nowthatIhadlaidmyeyesonhim,my

mindwouldn’tstopurgingmetofantasize.

“I’mnotsureifI’mreadyforthis,”Iwhisperedtotheoverfriendlycat.

Ifanything,Iwasmoreafraidofruiningourfriendship.

ChapterNine

Aquickhopintheshowerhelpedwashawaymynerves.MeetingJakefacetoface

wassupposedtohelpcalmme,butitonlymademyinsidesabigmushofconfused.All

thefeelingsI’dpushedawaywereerupting,readytopounce.

“CanIhelpyouwithanything?”Ioffered,enteringthekitchen.Jaketurned,hissmile

wide.Hiseyesrakedmein,hisgrinfaltering.

Hewentbacktothecuttingboard,clearinghisthroat.“No,goaheadandhaveaseat.

Youwantsomethingtodrink?”

Ifrowned,curiouswhyhisdemeanorchangedwhenhesawme.Washeappalledby

mycasualappearance?Ituggedonmybasicwhitetanktop,shufflinginmycomfycotton

shorts.DidIputonabrightcoloredbrabyaccident?Iglanceddown,nope,putonanew,

whitelacyonethatStephaniedemandedIbuy.Myhairwasstillwet,butcombedthrough.

IwantedtoletitairdrybeforeIthrewitupintoaponytail.Itwassomuchwarmerhere

thanbackathome,andkeepingitbrushedagainstmyneckwasuncomfortable.

Hishandswerecoveredingroundbeefashenoddedtowardthefridge.“Help

yourselftowhateveryou’dlike.”

Isnuckpassedhim,hisdelicioussmellmixingwiththespiceshewasblendingwith

theburger.“Doyouhavewine?”

“OfcourseIdo.Ididtryandprepforyourarrival.”

I’dpostedaboutwinemanytimes,includingphotosofmyfavoritebottles.Searching

thefridge,Iyankedoutabottleofwhitewine.Itwasthekindthatwasmorebuttery.I

snaggedabeerforJakeonthebottomshelf.Hewasn’tawinedrinker,he’dmadesmart

remarkswheneverI’dtalkaboutwine.

Standingnexttohim,Isetthebeeronthecountersohecouldseeit.“Youreadmy

mind,”hesighed,beginningtoformpattieswiththemeat.Iopenedthebottlewiththe

backofmyringforhim,tossingthecapinthetrash.

Hiseyeswidened.“Thatwasimpressive.”

Ismiled,butitdidn’tmatchmyeyes.“Martinalwaysdidthatwithhisweddingring.”

Jakeclampedanotherchunkofmeattogether.“That’snotyourweddingringisit?I

takeityoudidn’tapprove?”

Shruggingmyshoulders,Iopenedacabinet,grabbingawineglassformyself.“No,I

gavethatgaudypieceofjewelrybacktohim.Igotthisatalocalfarmersmarket.”I

glanceddownatthesterlingsilverringthathadloveisneverlostinscribedacrossthe

center.“Iprobablyshouldn’thavecaredasmuchasIdid.”

Jakestudiedme,hishandsslowlymassagingtheburger.“Hashereachedouttoyou?”

Ishookmyhead.Jakedidn’tknowaboutMartinandmyarrangementfornocontact.

He’dhavegivenmehellfornotgettingarestrainingorderifheknewwhatMartinhad

donetome.

Slappingthelastpattyontheplatewiththeothers,hetooktheemptybowltothe

sink,soapingitwithalongwithhishands.

“Well,youwon’trunintohimhere,”hegrinned,rinsinghishandswiththehotwater.

“Andifyoudid,I’dwhiskyouaway.”

MylipquiveredwhenItriedtoreplacemyfrownwithasmile.

Hisowngrinfaded,hisheadtiltingtotheside.Hiseyesheldpity,andIhadtolook

away.

Wipinghishandsonadishtowel,hecametome.“You’restillupset,aren’tyou?”

Ishookmyhead.“Nothowyouthink.”

“HowshouldIthink?”

Iglancedathimandsighed.“I’mupsetbecauseIdidn’tleavehimsooner.”

Jakewatchedformyreaction,asoftsmilecrossinghislips.“Well,thegoodthingis,

youdidn’tlosethatmanyyears.You’restillyoung,you’vegotalotofassholestodate,if

that’swhatyou’reinterestedindoing.”

Ilaughed.“Notinterestedinassholes.”

“Well,I’llbeonmybestbehavior.Ipromisetonotstareatyourarsewhenwegobike

riding,”hegrinned,andmynervescalmed.

“Thankyou,”Iwhispered,wantingtowrapmyarmsaroundhim.

Readingmymind,heclosedthespacebetweenus.Withacautioushand,hegrabbed

mywineglassandsetitonthecounter,thentookmywristandpulledmetohischest,

embracingmetightly.

Iinhaledhismasculinescent,chokingbacktearswhileInuzzledhischestand

huggedhiswaist.Hefeltamazing,andforahugthatshouldhavefeltawkwardand

wrong,itwastranquilandhealing.

Hisnosebrushedmytemple,thecoarsestubbleonhisjawscrapingagainstmycheek.

“Itfeelssogoodtoholdyou,”hemurmured.

Myeyespinchedclosed,myarms,lockingaroundhiswaist.Didfriendsholdeach

otherlikethis?Hewasn’tbeingsexual,butcomforting,exceptIcouldn’thelpbutfeelhe

meantmore.

Hisnoseranintomyhair,takingasharpinhale.WashebreathinginmyscentlikeI

wasdoingtohim?

Alltoosoon,heletmego,reachingforhisbeerandhandingmemyglassofwine.I

smiledathim,notwantingittobeobviousthattheabsenceofhisbodydisappointedme.

Heshotmeagrin,asparkleinhiseye.“Evenifhewerevacationinghere,you’reina

verysecludedplacewhereyouwon’trunintohim.”

Iranmyfingeralongtherimofmywineglass,hopingJakewasright.Idoubted

Martinwouldcomeafterme,hehadn’tcometothehousewhenwewereonlymilesapart,

whywouldhebotherfollowingmeacrosstheworld?

Unless,heknewwhereIranoffto.Mychesttightenedwiththethought.I’dhaveto

stayoffofsocialmediaandkeepmytextslimited.Martingavemespace,buthiseyes

wentwildwhenitcametoJake.IneverwantedtoseethatsideofMartinagain.

Imightnotwakeupifhegothishandsonme.

Jakewatchedmewhilehesippedhisbeer,goadingmetolookupathimfrommy

emptywineglass.Hesnakedhisarmaroundmywaist,hisdemeanorchangingfrom

friendlytopassionate.Hisbroadchestwasrightthere,hisdeliciousscentfloodingmy

nostrils.Itwasshockinglybecomingcomforting,eventhoughithadonlytickledmy

nostrilsafewtimesbefore.

Myeyelidsflutteredopen,meetinghisgaze.Thebrownofhisirisesweregentle,

showingnomorepity,butsympathytowardallthebullshitI’dbeenthrough.Heknew

howmuchMartinhadhurtmewithoutmesparinghimthenastydetails.

Irotatedsomybackwasagainstthecountertop.Wewerefacetoface.“Doyouneed

metomove?”Iwhispered.

Henoddedonce,wrappinghisotherarmcautiouslyaroundmywaist,pullingme

closertohim.Ourhipsweretouching,ourgazesstilllocked.Ifourchestswerepressed

together,he’dbeabletofeelmyheartdrummingwildlyinmychest.Mynostrilsflared

slightlytoinhalemoreoxygen,butIcouldn’treleaseabreath.Hewassoclose,staringat

mewithsomuchintent.

Itwasanalphamalestare,oneI’dfearedinthepast,butcomingfromJake,mylong-

time,mysteriousfriend,itopenedawholenewpassioninsideofme.Thisclosenesswas

differentfromtheembracemomentsago.

Onehandstayedplantedonmylowerback,whiletheotheropenedthedrawerbehind

me,fumblinguntilhepulledoutacorkscrew.Hisheatedstareturnedlessintense,asmile

tuggingatthecornersofhislips.Placingtheutensilbetweenourchests,hemurmured,“I

thinkyoumightneedthis.”

IreleasedthebreathI’dbeenholding,shootinghimanawkwardsmile.“ThatIdo.

Can’texactlyopenitupwithmyring.”Iwavedmyhandinfrontofhisface,showingthe

simplesilver.

Hereachedforit,gentlyholdingmyfingertipstoexamineit.“Ifit’snotawedding

ring,thenwhydoyouwearitonyourringfinger?”

Mythroatwasdry.“MaybeIstillhavehopetofindtruelove.”

Stillholdingmyhand,hebrushedthebandwithhisthumb,hisgazeleavingtheshine

ofmyringtomeetmyeyes.Theyweredark,aheatinthechocolatecolorthatpenetrated

intomysoul.

Peelingmyeyesfromhis,Iletoutalaugh,butinsteadofsoundinglight-hearted,it

wasbreathyandneedy.Iturnedfromhishold,plantingbothmyhandsonthecounterfor

support,takinganotherdeepbreath.Whatthehellwaswrongwithme?WasImakingthis

upinmyhead,orwashisgazedaringmetomakeamove?

Jake’shandfellfrommybackwhenIrotated,reachingforthewinebottleand

poppingitopen.Hepouredmeaglass,wavingitinfrontofmetogetmyattention.I

thankedhimwhenItookit.Hereachedacrossfromme,grabbinghisbeerandclinkedour

glassestogether.

“Here’stoawritingretreatwithmyfavoriteauthor,”hegrinned,takingasip,hiseyes

neverleavingmine.Thesparkleofdesirewasstillthere,mixedwithaplayfulgrinhiding

behindhisbottle.

Icouldn’thelpbutmatchhissmileandtakeadrinkofmywine.

Myladybitswerereadytoplaysomeseriousmindgameswithmyheart.

ChapterTen

“Come,”heordered,liftingtheplateofburgersfromthecounter.“Thebestviewis

fromthebackporch.”

Iswallowedanotherdrinkofwine,followinghimaimlesslythroughthekitchenand

totheslidingdoor.Somefreshairmighthelpdefusetheobvioustensionthatcrackled

betweenus.

I’dseenpicturesfromhisdeckonsocialmedia,buttheydidn’tdoitjustice.

Themountainshadbeenbeautifulaswedrove,buthere,withthelakeinthe

background,theywerebreathtaking.Theyweregentlegiantssurroundinghishome,the

snowcapsontotheruggedrocks,yetthebasesheldgreensformiles.Thesunwaslow,

castinganorangetintacrossthelake.Itwasspectacular,andIwonderedhowJakeever

focusedonacomputerscreenlongenoughtogetamanuscriptwrittenwiththebeautiful

distractionsurroundinghim.

“Jake,it’sgorgeousouthere,”Imumbled,afraidtoblinkandmissamomentofthe

view.

Hegrinned,openinghisgrillandlightingit,settingtheplateofburgersnexttoit.“It

helpsgetmeinthemood.”

“What?”Icroaked,mythighstingling.

Helaughed.“Themoodtowrite?Gosh,you’resucharomancewriter.”

Iblushed,myeyesfindingmywine.“Whosaidthat’swhatIwasthinking?”

Hesmirked,takingasteptowardme.Liftinghishand,heranhisthumbacrossmy

cheek.“ThebrightredstreaksthatstainedyourcheeksthemomentIsaidit.”

MylipsquirkedupwardintoasmileasImethiseyes.Hegavemeatoothlessgrin,

continuingtostrokemyskin.“Youcaughtme.”

Droppinghishand,hisgrinwasstillinaplace.“Andtheysaymenhavedirtyminds.”

Hemadehiswaybacktothegrill,openingthelidandputtingthepattiesovertheflames.

“Menarewaymorenaughtythanus.Womenwantromance.That’snotthedirtypart

ofsex.”Iasked,findingaseatononeoftheloungechairs.

Jakelaughedunderhisbreath.“Ithinkwemayneedtoagreetodisagreeonthatone.”

“Howso?”

“Well,”hebegan,throwingthelastburgeronthegrill.“Ipersonallybelievebothmen

andwomenlikeatakeonromanceanddirtywhenitcomestosex.”

Irolledmyeyes.Dirtysexwasn’tfun.That’sallMartineverwanted.

“You’reright,weshouldagreetodisagree,”Imumbledbetweensips.

Jakeploppeddowninthechairnexttome,takingaswigofhisbeer.

“So,thinkyou’llbeabletogetamanuscriptstartedwiththisview?”Hewavedhis

handtotheepicscenery.

“Idon’tknow,Imightgetdistracted.It’ssobeautiful,muchmoreappealingthanthe

cornfieldsandsuburbsI’musedtoinIllinois.”

Jakescrunchedhisnose.“Soundscrowdedanddull.Nowonderyou’reasexwriter.

That’sprobablyallthereistodo.”

Ilaughedandshookmyhead.“Youjustmightberight,although,thesexwasn’tdone

byme.”

“Can’tblameyouwhenyouhadatwatofahusband.”

Iraisedmyglasstohim.“Wellsaid.”

Heclinkedhisbottlewithmine.

“Whataboutyou?”Iaskedcuriously.“You’vementionedhavingpastgirlfriends.Was

thereanyoneserious?”

Heshruggedhisshoulders.“No,mylifeisn’treallycutoutforarelationship.”

Iraisedabrow.“Beingawriterinthemiddleofthemountains?Yeah,you’reright,

that’sjustanoutlandishidea.”

Hesmirked.“Alwayssofullofsarcasm.”

“Takesonetoknowone,”Iaccused.Herolledhiseyesbutnodded.Heknewhewas

moreofasmartassthanIwas.

“Seriously,though.Whyhaven’tyousettleddown?”Ipried.Hewassexyashell,had

apersonalitytodiefor,andhowhehadn’tbeensnaggedupbyawomanwasthrowingme

foraloop.

Hestaredatthetopofhisbeerashethought.“I’vehadacrushonagirlforavery

longtime.”

Iwasintriguednow,evenatouchjealous.“Oh.”

Heglancedatmethenlookedatthemountainpass.“I’verecentlyhadhighhopesfor

hertomaybegivemeashot,though.”

Myheartachedathiswords.Itwasaridiculousfeeling.Ihadbeenscoldingmyself

thepastweekthatIneededtothinkofhimonlyasafriendandnothingelse.

“Ibetshewill,”Ismiled,pushingawaymydisappointment.

Hishope-filledeyesshottomeinaninstant,buttheheatinthemfaded.Hemusthave

lostfaithinthegirlhehadhiseyesseton.Thethoughtmademyheartpoundabitfaster.

Hestoodfromhisseat,headingbacktothegrill.“Timewilltell.”Heclearedhis

throat,takinganotherswigfromhisbeer.“Howdoyouwantyourburgercooked?”

Thedistanceseemedtospreadbetweenus,andnotjustbecausehe’dsteppedtenfeet

away.DidIsaysomethingupsetting?

“Mediumisfine.”

Hetippedbackhisbeerbottleagain,onlythesizzleofthebeefsoundingmixedwith

thegentlewindagainstthetreeswasbetweenus.Theawkwardsilencewasn’tcomforting

intheslightest.

“I’mgoingtogocheckonthepotatoesintheovenandgrabtheveggiestogrill.”

“Okay.”Icurledintomyseat,holdingmywinesecurelytomychest.Thegirlmust

havebeenasoresubject,andI’dneedtorefrainfrombringingherupifIdidn’twanthim

toshutdown.Thefactthatwehadnevertalkedaboutherwasodd.Wespokeaboutmy

relationshiponmorethanoneoccasion,especiallyinthemidstofmydivorce.Guiltfilled

mewhenIrealizedIneveraskedhimaboutasignificantotherwhenhewassucha

wonderfulpersontoventtoaboutmythick-headofanex-husband.

WhenJakecamebackthroughthescreenedporch,hisplayfulsmilewasback,andit

helpedmetorelaxagain.“So,tellmeaboutyourcurrentworkinprogress.Doyouhave

theplotset?”

“Notsure,butithastohavealotofromanceinit,accordingtoSandra,”Isighed.

“Doyouwriteanythingelse?”Heteased.“Whatkindofromance?”

Itickedmyjaw.“I’mthinkingamysterytypedeal.Kindoflikethemovie“You’ve

GotMail.”

Jakeopenedthegrilltopandtossedafoilpacketovertheflames.“Youshouldthrow

insomesuspense.Maybeacrazystalker?”

“Theguyshetalkstoonlinecouldbethestalker,butshedoesn’tknowit.”

Heshotmeagrin.“Ofcourse,heusesafakephoto.”

Iscrunchedupmynose.“Nah,hewon’tevenuseaphoto.Maybethestalkercouldbe

anex-boyfriend.”

Hetappedhischin.“Howabout,hermom’sex-boyfriend?”

“Howabouthermom’sstep-brother?”Ideadpanned.

“Nowthat’sjustpushingthelimits,”hechided,throwingmeawink.

Isighed,kickingmyfeetoutfromunderneathme.“Okay,alljokesaside,Ineeda

milliondollaridea,otherwisemypublisherisgoingtodropme.”

“Alright,alright,”heclosedthegrillandsatacrossfromme,restinghiselbowsonhis

kneesandgivingmehisundividedattention.“Ithink,thefirstweekhere,youshouldn’t

worryaboutyourmanuscript.”

Myeyesbuggedout.“Areyouinsane?DidyoumissthepartwhereIneedtowrite

thirtythousandwordsinamonth?Notjustanywords,butkickassonesthatwillsucka

readerintothestory.Youofallpeopleknowthattakestime.”

Hisliptwitchedupward.Pushinghishathigheronhisforehead,Icouldseethedark

brownlocksthathidbeneathit.Ialwayswonderedhowmuchhairhereallyhad.Scooting

fromhisseattotheottoman,hesatdirectlyacrossfromme,settingbothhishandsonmy

kneesandstaredmestraightintheeyes.

Thecontactcausedmetoholdmybreath.Hishandswerewarmtothetouch,andthe

tinglesthatrushedaroundthemweredistractingmefromhischarm.

“Allyou’vedonethepastthreemonthsisworry,stress,andbeparanoidaboutlife.

Youneedtoclearyourheadandrelax.”Histhumbsstrokedtheoutsidesofmyknees.

“Thetensionyou’vebeencarryingisobvious.It’stimetochilloutsome,Love.Takein

thescenery—breatheabit.”

IexhaledthebreathI’dbeenholding,takingalongblinkasifitwouldhelpmegain

mysenses.BetweenhistouchandthewayhecalledmeLove,Iwashavingtrouble

processingathought.

WhenIopenedthem,hewasgrinningatme,hiseyesfilledwithmirth.“Nowyou’re

gettingit.”Histhumbscontinuedtorub,movingtotheinsidesofmyknees,andmythighs

trembled.

Heglanceddownthenremovedhishands,standingfromtheottomanandreturning

backtothegrill.Heclearedhisthroat.“PutyourfeetupandenjoytheNewZealand

scenery.”

Didhefeeltheintensitybrewingbetweenus?Imightbecrazy,butthewayhe

strokedthebareinsidesofmykneescameacrossasintimate.

Maybesnugglingatnightwithhimwouldeasemynervesandclearmyhead,evenif

itleadtootheractivities.Iwasn’tmarriedanymore,andalittlebitofpassionmighthelp

withthelackofwritingflow.Howcouldsomeonewriteaboutromanceiftheyhadn’t

receivedanyofitoveralongperiodoftime?

Itookasipofmywine,watchingJakeworkthegrill.Seeingthathisfrontwasas

sexyasIknewhisbackwas,keepingmyinappropriatethoughtsatbaywasgoingtobea

challenge,oneImightforgoandgiveinto.

ChapterEleven

“Dinnerwasamazing,”Isighed,slouchinginmychair.Mystomachwasperfectly

satisfied.

Jakesatacrossfromme,relaxedinhisseat.Hegrinnedatmystature.“Wasn’tsure

howwellit’dturnout.Idon’ttypicallycookforanyoneelsebutmyself.”Hegesturedto

thecatloungingalongtherailingofthedeckwiththetiltofhishead.“Shepleywon’t

touchanythingIgivehimunlessit’sfreshfromacan.”

“Someone’sspoiledandpicky,”Ismiledatthecat.“Whateverhedoesn’teat,Iwill.”

Jakelaughed,glancingatouremptyplates.“I’mprettygoodonagrill,hopeyou

don’tmindeatingalotofmeat.”Hiseyesglimmeredwithhumor,andIflushed,avoiding

hisgaze.

“Yourmindwenttothegutteragain,didn’tit?”

“Doesn’titalways?”Ismiled,throwinghimmyownwink.

Hestudiedme,hisbrowsrelaxedwithanimpishgrinsettledacrosshislips.“What

areyouthinkingrightnow?”

Finishingmywineinonelongswig,Istoodfrommyseat,onlysendinghimasmirk.

Withoutansweringhim,Icollectedourplates,battingmyeyelashesinhisdirection.Iwas

onmythirdglassofwine,andforagirlwhohadn’ttouchedalcoholinoverayear,the

effectswerecominginfullblast.

Myskinwaswarmandtingly,mymindwasfreeandopened,andinmybuzzedhaze,

JakeCooperwassexyashell.

Hefollowedmeinsideandintothekitchen.“Thatnaughty,huh?”Heprodded,

bringingintheplatterwheretheleftoverburgersandveggiessat.

Igiggled,stillrefrainingfromansweringhim.Iflippedonthefaucet,runningthe

wateruntilitwaswarm.Jakewasnexttome,reachingforthedishsoap.“Icandothis.”

Inudgedhimwithmyelbow.“Don’tbesilly.Youcooked,I’llclean.”

“Howabout,Ihelp,”heoffered,gentlyplacinghishandonmylowerbackwhenhe

passedbymetogetTupperwarefortheleftovers.Ilovedtheslightcontact,secretly

wishinghe’dcomebacktome.Thesimpletoucheswehadbeforedinnerhadmecraving

physicalinteractionwithhim.

“You’refeelingthatwine,aren’tyou?”Hechuckled,dumpingthefoodintoabowl

andcoveringit.

“Maybe,”Isnickered,rinsingofftheplatesandputtingtheminthedishwasher.Jake

watchedme,hisfunlovingsmileturningintoascowl.

“Letmeloadit.”

Ifurrowedmybrowsathim.“Really,it’snotabigdeal.”

Heskiddedpassedme,movingoneofthedishesintotheoppositesideofthe

dishwasher.

Iraisedabrowathimwhileherearrangedthesilverware.“Wow,Ishouldhaveseen

thatcoming.”

Withoutlookingatme,hecontinuedtoloadafterIrinsed.“Seenwhat?”

Ipressedmylipstogethertostopfromlaughing.“Thatyou’reatouchOCD.”

Heloadedthelastutensil,hisbrowspinchingtogether.“I’mnotOCD.”

Crossingmyarms,Iglancedatthedishwasher.Hefollowedmygaze.“What?They

washbetterthatway.”

“I’mnotdenyingthat,”makingashowofcheckingouthishouse,Ibroughtmy

attentionbacktohim.“Yourhouseisspotless,Jake.Sameasyourcar.”

Hescowledatme.“So…?”

Laughing,Ishookmyhead.“So…you’reOCD.There’snothingwrongwiththat.

Youmightkickmeoutforbeingaslobwithmythings.”

Standingfromhiscrouchbythedishwasher,hefilleditwithsoapandclosedthedoor.

“Nah,Iwon’tkickyouout.IguessIdokeepthingsingoodorder.”

Turningtotheislandcounterwheremynearlyemptywineglasssat,Irestedmy

handsonthemarblesurface.“There’snothingwrongwithkeepingyourhometheway

youwant.HopefullyIwon’tdriveyoucrazybybeinghere.”

Cominguponmytiptoes,Ileanedacrossthecountertoreachmyphone.Iwastoo

lazytowalkaroundtotheotherside.Whyhehadsuchabigcountertopwasbeyondme,

especiallywhenhelivedalonewithonlyhiscat.

JustasIgotaholdofit,IfeltJake’spresencebehindme,hishandsontheedgeofthe

counteroneithersideofmyhips.Islowlystraighteneduprightfromreachingformy

phone.Thehotairthatexpelledfromhisnostrilsbrushedmybareshoulder.

“Youmightdrivemecrazyifthisisyoureverydayattire,”hemurmuredagainstthe

lengthofmyneck.

Iswallowed,thechemistrythatsizzledbetweenuswassuckingupalloftheairinthe

room.“Iknow,I’mabitdresseddown.”

Heblewoutairwhenhelaughedunderhisbreath,ticklingmyear.Hislipsgrazedthe

shellwhenhespoke.“Asinlackofclothing?Yes.”

“Jake,”Iwhispered,tiltingmyheadslightlytotheside.Iwantedhislipstocaressme

withmorethanjustwords.Myfingersgrippedtheedgesofmyphone,theotherdaringto

coverhishand.

Takinghishandfromthecounter,hewrappeditaroundmystomach,stepping

forwardsohisfrontmeshedwithmyback.“Ifyouwantmetostop,you’llhavetosaythe

word,Cora.”

Suckingonmybottomlip,Ipushedtomytiptoes,wantingthestubbleofhisjawto

grazeagainstmyneck.Henuzzledthesensitiveskin.

Takingasharpinhale,Igrabbedhishand,lacingourfingerstogether,pinninghis

handtotheislandcounter.Finally,hislipspressedagainstthepulsepointofmyneck.A

milliontinglesspreadthroughoutmybody.

Mybreathingincreased,releasingthegripIhadonmyphonetofindthebackofhis

neck.

Thetouchofmyhandsurgedhimtocontinue,hismouthgrazinghighupmyneck.

“Youtastesogood,”hemurmuredintomyskin,plantingawetkissbelowmyjaw.Itsent

joltsofpleasurestraighttotheapexofmythighs.Hishandsplayedacrossmystomach,

snuglyholdingmeinplace.Myheadtippedback,restingagainsthisshoulderwhilehe

continuedtoworshipmyneck,kissingandsucking.It’dbeensolongsinceI’dhadsuch

intimatecontact.

Removinghishandfromthecountertop,hekeptminelacedwithhis,bringingboth

ourhandstomychin,gentlytiltingmyheadbackward.Hishatwasstilltippedonhis

head,shadowinghislustfilledeyes.“Idon’twanttostopkissingyou,”hewhispered,

strokingmyjawwithhisthumb.

Releasinghishandfrommine,Iturnedtofacehim,bothhishandsfindingmylower

back,oneslippingunderneathmytanktop.Theskinonskinfeltincredible.

Bothmyhandsranupthebackofhisneck,massagingintohishairandtakingoffhis

hat,tossingitnexttomyphone.Heheldmygaze,patientlywaitingformetomakethe

nextmove.Hiseyesheldwonderandhope,butalsoremainedstubborn.Hewouldn’tpush

meintodoingsomethingIwasn’treadyfor.

Flutteringmyeyelashes,Iinchedupward,applyingpressuretothebackofhishead,

hintingtohimtomeetmehalfway.Hecaughtoninaninstant,slamminghismouth

againstmine.

Igroaned,spreadingmylipsandrunningmytonguealongtheseamofhismouth,

eagertokisshimwithrecklessabandonment.Heopenedupwillingly,minglinghistongue

withmine.

Hispalmscreptupmyspineatadeliciouspace,keepingmecrammedtohischest.

Myhandswerewildinhishair,claspingthethicklocksthatwerealwayshidden

underneathhishat.

“I’vewantedthisforsolong,”hebreathedbetweenkisses,gentlygrabbingmythighs

andliftingmeonthekitchenislandnexttomyphone.Hedidn’tneedtobenddownnow,

givingourmouthsanewangletoexplore.Bothhishandshuggedmetomyshoulder

blades,onepalmslippingunderneathmybra.

Idippedmyheadback,lovingbeingsurroundedbyhim.

Thestubbleofhisjawscrapeddownmyneckandtomycollarbone,hislips

worshippingmysensitiveskin.

Everythingabouthimwasprovingperfect.Hisoutgoingandlivelyspirit,hiswell-

caredforbodyhadthedesirableamountofmuscleandbuild,thepassionheheldfor

writingandhelpingotherswiththeircraft,allofhimturnedmeoncompletely.

Now,Iknewhowheheldawomaninhisstronghands,kissedwithoutfearor

intimidation,andholyhell,didIwantthefullexperienceofJakeCooper.

Heranhisnosealongmyjaw,slowingdownhismouthwithmoretenderkisses.It

wasexquisite.Somindnumbinglywonderful,thatInevershouldhaveopenedmyeyes

andgazeddowntothecountertopwheremyphonesat.

Spreadacrossthescreenwasatextmessagefromthemanwhodestroyedmyself-

esteemandsenseofself-worth.ThemanIsworeImovedonfrom,andwouldneverhave

tohearfromagain.Althoughhisnamewasdeletedfrommyphone,thenumberwas

ingrainedintomymind.

MyhandsstilledinJake’shair,atremorrunningthroughmywholebody.Thelumpin

mythroatgrewsothickIthoughtI’dchoke.Sweatbeadedonthebackofmyneck,and

notfromJake’sdelicatetonguemassagingthesensitivepulsepoint.

Mybreathwentshallowandmychestheaved.

ComingtoNewZealandwasamistake.

Iknowwhereyouare,andI’mfuckingpissed.

I’mcomingforyou,Cora.You’remine,andyoualwayswillbe.

ChapterTwelve

“Yousmellsogood,”Jakemumbledintothecrookofmyneck.Iswallowed,every

haironmybodystickingupasstraightasaneedle.

Myhandsgrippedhist-shirtlikeavice.Hesmirkedagainstmyskin,runninghisnose

alongmycheek.“Youwantmetotakeitoff?”

Ididn’tmovemyhands,Icouldn’tevenpeelmyeyesfromtheflashoflightonmy

phone.Theglowvanishedanditwasstillimprintedinmybrain.

Jakefollowedmygaze.“What’swrong?”Dartinghisattentionbacktomyface,he

tookmychininhishand,forcingmyattentiontofacehim,butmyeyesremainedplanted

onthephone.

“Cora?You’repale.”Hefeltmyforeheadwithhisotherhand.“Areyoufeeling

alright?”

Ishookinhishands,andconcernwassketchedintohisknittedbrows.

“Myphone,”Icroaked,keepingmyhandsclenchedinhisshirt.

Jakefoundit,releasingmychintograbit,pullingitbetweenus.“Here.”

Iswallowed,squeezingmyeyesshut.Thiswasn’thappening,Isignedthepapers,he’s

goneforgood,andhesworehewouldn’tdothis…

“Love,you’regoingtohavetothrowmeabonehere.Jesus,you’reshaking.”

“He’s,”Iswallowed,butonlydrynesswasinmythroat.

Jakewaitedpatientlyforthewordstocomeout,buttherewasnouse.Fearwas

holdingmeinplace.

Finally,hepushedthescreenonmyphone,readingthetextthatcausedmetoclamup

andshutdown.

Hisbrowsfurrowed,angerpursinghislips.“Yourfuckheadofanassholeex-husband,

I’massuming?”

Inoddedonce,myeyesstillclenchedshut.

Myphonethuddedonthecounter,andtwocallousedhandsfoundmycheeks.

“Lookatme,”Jakedemanded,histonecalm,unlikethegriphehadonmyface.

Ipoppedmyterrorfilledeyesopen,meetingthegentlebrownofhisirises.Helicked

hislips,strokingmycheekswithhisthumbs.“Thatdumbassismessingwithyou.There’s

nowayhecouldfindyouhere.”

“Yes,hecan,”Iwhispered,knockinghishandsfrommyfaceandrubbingmyeyes.

Hetookastepback,andIjumpeddownfromthecountertop,pacingbackandforththe

lengthofthekitchen.

Jakesetbothhispalmsontheislandcounter.“How?Ithoughthedidn’tevenknow

wetalked?”

Iglancedathim,scratchingthefrontofmythroat.“He’srunacrosssomeofour

emails.”

Jakeshrugged.“So?AsfarasIknow,whatjusthappenedisthemostsexual

interactionthetwoofushaveeverhad.”

Ibitmylip,unabletostandstill.“Youmeanbesidesthesexsceneswe’veeditedfor

eachother?”

“Oh,thatdoesn’tcount.Itwasforwork,weweren’ttalkingabouteachother,”he

chided,wavinghishandinmydirection.“Youweremarried,Iwouldn’tallowmyselfto

makeamoveonyou.I’mnotthattypeofguy.”

Ibitmynail,stillpacing.“Iknowyou’renot,butMartin…hedoesn’tliketobetold

no.Hehadalotoftroublewiththedivorce,buthekepthisdistance.Itwaspartofour

arrangement.”

Jakeraisedabrow,steppingaroundtheislandandcuttingmeoff.“What

arrangement?”

Icrossedmyarms,rubbingmyshouldersforwarmth,eventhoughitwasstiflingin

hishouse.Whyhedidn’thavetheairconditioningonwasbeyondme.Itdidn’tmatter

now,Iwasshiveringtothebonefromfear.

NotwantingtoindulgeJakeintherealreasonIfinallyputmyfootdown,Ishookmy

head,dismissingtheconversation.

Heletoutaheftybreath,runninghishandthroughhisdisheveledhair.Ihaddonea

realnumberonitwithmyownhands.ToobadthatMartin’stexthadthesameeffectas

throwingacoldbucketofwateronmylap.

Ishookmyhead,myeyesbeginningtowater.“Thisissuchamess.Ishouldhave

waited.”

Jakefrowned.“Waited?Forwhat?”

Iwinced,tiltingmyheadtotheceiling.“Ishouldn’thavecomehere.”

Hecockedhisheadtotheside,grabbingaholdofmybicep.Iflinchedwildly,taking

multiplestepsback.

Heheldbothhishandsup,hiseyeswidewithshock.“I’msorry,Ididn’tmeanto

startleyou.”

Myshouldersrelaxed.Ididn’tneedtobeafraidofJake.“No,don’tbesorry.Martin

makesmejumpy.”

Jakehesitantlytookanothersteptowardme.“Why?”Hisbreathwaslowashespoke,

makingupscenariosinhishead.Itwasn’thisfault;hewasawriterafterall.Formsof

abusewereeasyforustopickout.Weresearchedthemforcharacters.Nodoubthewas

figuringoutwhatasadwomanIwasforlettingamancausemetoshrivelintoaballof

nerveswheneverhebecamethreatening.

“Idon’twanttotalkaboutit,”Iwhispered,takingstepsbackwardtowardtheliving

room,wantingtocrawlintoaholeanddisappear.

Heletoutashakybreath,hisjawtensingwhilehecautiouslyfollowedme.“You

don’thaveto.Letmebehereforyou,Cora.PleaseknowthatIwon’tlethimhurtyou.

You’resafe,Icanpromiseyouthat.”

Ibackedintothecouch,spookedbythecontact,nearlyfallingoverintheprocess.

Jakeheldhisarmsoutasiftocatchme,buthalted,holdingtheminfrontofhim.He

knewIwasn’tinmynormalskinnow.Iwasterrifiedfromthatstupidtextmessage.

“Ihaveanidea,”hesaidsoftly,backpeddlingtotheisland.“I’mshuttingthisdown.”

Takingmyphoneandpoweringitoff,heputitinhiscargopocket.“Willyoucometomy

officewithme?”

Isearchedtheroom,notsurewhatfor,butnodded,continuingtohugmyself.

“Thisway,”hesaidgently,tiltinghisheadformetofollowhim.“I’vegotanideathat

mighthelpyou.”

ChapterThirteen

Ifollowedhimdownthehallwayandpassedmyroomtohisoffice.Watchinghim

frombehindwassurprisinglycomforting.Iwasusedtohisbackside,itwaswhatI

picturedwhenItalkedtohim,itwasthesideofhimIwasusedto.

“Don’tmindthemess,”heapologized,unlockingthedoorandopeningit.

Thetensenessinmyshouldersfaded.Hisofficewassimilartomine.Papersstrewn

onhisdeskmixedwithpensandstickynotes.Adesktopwithpost-itsarounditwitha

screensaverofShepleysprawledacrosshislap.Thewallshadcanvasprintsofhisbook

covers,andaslidingdoortohishouse-lengthporchletintheimpendingsunset.

IfIweren’tsoterrifiedfromthethreateningtextfromMartin,I’dbemoreinaweof

thescenery.

Hemotionedformetositinhisworndownofficechair.“Sit.”

Pushingasidemytimidness,Itookthefewstridestohisseat.WhileIcrossedthe

room,heshookthemouseandpulledupaworddocument.

“Typewhat’sgoingoninyourheadrightnow.Itdoesn’tmatterhowjumbleditfeels,

justpushitfromyourbrainandintoyourfingertips.Maybestartwithwhereyourmind

wasbeforeyousawhistextmessage.”

Iliftedabrowathim,keepingmyarmswrappedaroundmyself.

Helickedhislips.“Okay,juststartwithwhenyousawthetext.”

“Idon’ttypicallywritelikethis.IonlywritewhenI’mmakingastory.”

“Thinkofitasajournalentry.IalwaysdothiswhenIhaveanoverpoweringemotion

thatI’mlosingcontrolover.Ithelpsmetoclearmymind,gainagriponlifeagain.”

Staringatthekeyboard,Iwilledmyhandstobegintyping.

“I’llsitontheporch.I’msuremylookingoveryourshoulderisn’tgoingtohelpany.”

Iofferedhimaslightsmile,butfrownedwhenthedoorcaughtmyeye.Jakefollowed

mygaze.“I’llcloseitandlockit.You’llbesafe,Ipromise.”

Iwatchedhimclickthedoorclosed,thenheadtotheslidingdoor,openingitand

findingaseatontheloungechairinmyview.Hegavemeawinkoncehewassettled,

pullingouthisphoneandswipingthroughit.

Oncehewasdeepintohisphone,Igavehisideaashot.

ItreateditasifIweretellingastory,puttingmyselfinthemaincharacter’sposition,

describinghowIreactedinamonologue.Itwasn’tverylong,butpowerful,and

shockingly,mynervesweremuchcalmer.ItwasifIhadfacedmyfearbyretellingthe

storywithmyowntwist.

Jakesnuckbackinside,hoveringbehindmejustasIfinished.

“So,didithelp?“

“Actually,I’mfeelinglessanxious,”Isaidtruthfully.

Jakegentlycoveredmyshoulderswithhishands,andIclosedmyeyes,findinghis

friendlytouchsoothing.Hebegantomassagemytensemuscles,workinghisthumbsinto

thebackofmyneck.“Toldyouitwouldhelp.”

Heappliedpressuredownmyneckandspine,pushinghardbetweenmyshoulder

blades.Iwasfulloftension,andhisstronghandswerehelpingtoreleasethestress.

Tiltingmyhead,Jakeranonehandalongthesideofit,rubbingouttheknotsandfinding

thebackofmyscalp.

“Youseemmorerelaxed,Love,”hewhispered,hishandscontinuingtheirpathalong

myupperbody.

Ileanedforward,restingmyarmsonthedesk.Jake’shandswentlowerdownmy

spine.“Ifonlymymindwouldstoprunninginathousanddirections.”

Helaughedunderhisbreath.“You’dthinkyou’dbeusedtothatbynow,beinga

writerandall.”

Myforeheadfoundthebackofmyhand.Releasingadeepbreath,Imuffled,“Ifonly

thevoicesinmyheadwerefrommadeupcharactersandnotmycrazyex-husband.”

Jakeworkedhispalmupmyspine,thencircledhisfingersaroundmyribs.Ishould

havegiggled,buthepressedfirmenoughforittofeelamazinginsteadofticklish.“We’ll

getthosevoicestochangeintobestsellingcharacterthoughtsinnotime.”

Ifoundsolitudeinhisworkinghandsandhismurmuredvoice.Thewayhemoved

smoothlyandspokeinahushedmannerwascomforting.Moreofthisspecialtreatment

fromhim,andmybodywouldturnintomush.

Squeezingmyshoulders,hewhispered.“Comeouttothebackporchwithme.”

Ilazilyliftedmyheadandheremovedhishands.Attemptingtoholdinmypoutand

missingthewarmthofhishands,Istoodandfollowedhim.

Shepleywassittingontherailing,histailfloatingbackandforth.Thesunhadset

whileIwasgluedtothecomputerscreen,butthemountainpasswasglowingagainstthe

moonlight.Slightripplescoastedalongthelakefromthebreeze,themoon’sreflection

clearasdayonthedarkwater.

“It’samazinghowbigitis,”Jakesighed,noddingtothemoonandfindinghimself

standingbyShepley.Thecatnudgedhisshoulderwithitsforehead,ahintofwantingtobe

petted.Jakesmiledatthecat,rubbingitsears.Myfeettookmetotheothersideofthecat,

scratchinghisback.

“Itis.CrazytothinkIseethesamemoonontheothersideoftheworld.”

Jake’shandskimmeddownShepley’sfurtocovermine.“You’restillworried.”

Imethisgentleeyes.Hisfacewasstillsonewtome.“Idon’tthinkI’llevernotbe

afraid.”

Hepulledmyhandfromthecatandbroughtmetohisside,graspingmybicepand

holdingmeagainsthim.Ifoundmyselfcurlingintohim,nuzzlinghisshoulderand

wrappingmyarmsaroundhiswaist.

HowdidIfitintohimsoeasily?Whywasn’tIhesitanttotouchhim?Wewere

comfortablewitheachotheronthephone,butwouldn’tittaketimetobuildaphysical

relationshipinperson?Hell,we’dbeenineachother’scompanyforonlyafewhours.It

tookmemonthstokissMartin,andevenlongertogetintobedwithhim.

“Whatdidhedotoyou?”Hewhisperedagainstmytemple,givingmeatightsqueeze

withbothhishands.

AtremorranthroughoutmybodyasthevividimageofMartinsmackingmeacross

thefacethenshovingmedownthestairs.Myeyelidsclampedclosed,tearsthreateningto

spill.Ihadshovedthememoryawayinmybrain,neverwantingtoreliveitagain.

Onesimpletextmessagebroughtitallbacktolife.

Isniffledintohisshirt,desperatelypushingbackthefountainofwaterworks.

Jaketurnedintome,huggingmetightlytohischest.Hisheadrestedagainstmine,

bothhishandscradlingmeprotectively.

“There’smore,isn’tthere?”Hewhisperedintothecalmnight.“Hehurtyou,didn’t

he?Morethanbreakingyourheartbykeepingyouinalovelessmarriage?”

Inoddedinbetweenhispecs,palminghisbackwithmyshakinghands.

Hecuppedthenapeofmyneck,runninghisnosealongmycheek.“Oh,Cora,why

didn’tyoutellmewhatwasreallyhappening?”

“Itshockedme,”Iwhimperedintohischest.“Ididn’tthinkwhathedidwaswrongat

first.”

Hishandtightenedonmyscalp.“Layingahandonawoman,especiallyoneyou

love,isinexcusable.”

Unlatchingmyhandsfromaroundhiswaist,Isquirmedsohewouldloosenhisgrip

aroundmeenoughsoIcouldrubmyeyes.“Ididn’thaveanywhereelsetogo.”

Jake’seyebrowsscrunchedtogether.“There’salwayssomewheretogo.”

Ishookmyhead.“Ihaven’tspokentomyparentssinceIchoseMartinoverthem.It’s

beennearlysevenyearssincewe’vetalked.”

Jake’shandstrokedmyjaw.“Youreallydon’thaveanyotherfamily?Friends?”

Isniffed.“OnlyMartin’sfamily.”

“Howlongwasheabusive?”

Takingadeepbreath,Ishrugged.“Afewyears?Itwasn’tbaduntilthelastmonth.It

waslittlethingsatfirst,holdingmyarmstootightly,grabbingmychinandscreamingin

myface.He’dgetaggressiveinthebedroom,butwouldblameiton‘beinginthemoment’

andsaidhedidn’trealizehewashurtingme.”

Jakestudiedme,hiseyesfilledwithcompassion.“Whatmadehimmad?”

Iswallowed,dartingmyeyestohischest.“Anything,really.Hewasatickingtime

bomb,theropegettingshorterwitheachdisappointmenthefoundinme.”

Jaketrailedtwogentlefingersacrossmycheek.“Nothingcouldbedisappointing

aboutyou,Love.”

Myeyelidsflutteredopen,findinghisgazeagain.“Iknowthatnow.Iwasinalow

placewithmyself-confidenceandself-worth,butI’mmuchbetternow.IknewIwas

worthsavingandchosetoendtherelationship.IonlywishIwouldhavefigureditout

sooner.”

ThesoftpadsofJake’sfingerstracedalongmycheekandtomyforehead,smoothing

overasmallscar.Itmusthaveglowedinthemoonlight.

Iwatchedhimswallow.“Wasthisfromhim?”

Inodded,squeezingmyeyesshut.“HewasmadIboughtthewrongtypeofpickles

andthrewtheglassjaratme.Thankfullyhemissed,buthitthedoorframe.Glasswent

everywhere,includingmyforehead.”Ilookedtotheinsideofmyforearmwhereafew

othershardslefttheirmark.“Itriedtoblockit,butIcouldn’tmovemyarmintimeto

shieldallofmyface.”

Jakefollowedmygaze,movinghishandfrommybacktotracethefaintlines.

Heshookhishead,hisjawtighteningwithanger.“He’llneverhurtyouagain.”

Iofferedhimasmile,gratefulforhisprotectiveness,butdeepdown,Iknewhe

wouldn’tbeabletoprotectmefromMartin.Myex-husbandhadtoomanyresources,and

mostlikelyhewasalreadyonhiswayheretogetme.

IwasbeingirresponsiblebystayingwithJake.Themomentthattextcamethrough,I

shouldhavefoundmywaybacktotheStatestofilearestrainingorder,butitfeltgood

beinginJake’sarms.

Hetenderlykissedthescaronmyforehead,lettinghislipslingeronmyskin.Isighed

intothecoolnightair,leaningintohistouch.Ahintofreliefwashedovermefrom

revealingsomeoftheuglybetweenMartinandme.

Heremovedhislips,holdingmyfaceinhishandssohecouldlookatme.“Iwasout

oflinekissingyouinthere,”hemurmured.

Istaredathismouth,lickingmyownlips.“No,youmostdefinitelyweren’t.”

Hecockedhisheadslightly,thecornerofhismouthtwitchingupward.“No?”

Islowlyshookmyhead.“PrettysurethatwasthemostaliveI’vefeltinalongtime.”

Nowhiseyeswereonmygapedmouth.“Woulditbeoutoflinetodoitagain?”

Ismiled,liftingonmytiptoesandcreepingmyarmstothebackofhisneck,gently

pluckinghislips.“Sincewhenareyousohesitant?”Iflirted,plantinganotherquickkiss

againsthismouth.

Hesmirkedandmovedintothekiss,huggingmetohischest.

Iopenedmymouth,pressingmytonguealongtheseamofhislips.Heopenedupin

aninstant,goadingmytonguetodancewithhis.Asourbreathsmingledandhands

explored,anyterrifyingthoughtofMartinIhad,vanished.AllIcouldthinkaboutwas

Jakeandhowhishandsroamedmybody.

Heslippedthemunderneathmytanktop,thecallousesonhishandsscratchingmy

skinwhiletheytraveledalongthelengthofmyback.Thecontactwasdelicious,pushing

myhormonesintooverdrive.Myhandsclawedatthebackofhisshirt,tuggingitoverhis

head.Hislipsleftminelongenoughtostripthefabricfromhisbody,tossingittothe

ground,thenyankingmeagainsthimwithinananosecond.

Imoanedintohismouth,runningmyhandsalonghishotskin.Thecontoursofhis

backwereperfect.Theytensedandflexedunderneathmyfingertips,justasIimagined

theywould.Iknewhisbackandthenarrowingofhishipsbyeye,andnowIwasthrilled

togetmyhandsoneveryinchofhim.

Takingmebysurprise,hegraspedmythighs,liftingmeandwrappingmylegsaround

hiships,allwhileexploringthedepthsofmymouth.Hewalkedusfromthedeckandinto

hisofficewithease,strollingpassedtheheapofpapersandbooksstackedamongstother

clutter.

Thehallwaywasdarkwherehecarriedme,findingtheguestroomandsettingmeon

myfeet.Hiskissesslowed,turningmoretenderandlessfrenzied.Ourforeheadsmet,and

theonlysoundintheroomwasourheavybreathing.

“I’llstopifyouwantmeto,”hesaidinadeeptimbre.“I’llleavethisroomandclose

yourdoorbehindmeifforevenasecondyoufeeluneasy.”

Myhandsfoundhischest,pressingagainsttherockhardmuscleofhispecs.“I’mnot

afraidofyou,Jake.”

Hishandswereathissides.“I’mglad,butIknowyou’vegotwounds,andIdon’t

wanttore-openthem.”

Istrokedhisskin,beyondthankfulforhisempathy.Hedidn’tknowhowdeepmy

woundswere,andifItoldhim,theeventsoftonightsurelywouldtakeadifferentturn,

andIdidn’twantthat.Ineededtobeclosetohim,feelhispassionandstrength.Having

Jake,theonlymanwhoIconfidedinandhadtrustedwithmythoughts,envelopingand

surroundingme,wouldcuretheacheinmyheartthatIhadbeenavoiding.

“Ithinkyou’lldotheopposite,”Iwhispered,graspingthehemofmytanktopand

slowlyliftingitovermyhead.“You’remybestfriend.”

Hetookinasharpinhale.“You’reminetoo,Love.You’vealwaysbeen.”

Hishandslefthissidesandfoundmywaist,runningalongmybareskinonceagain.I

archedmybackashetraveledupmyspine,myheadlolledtothesidewherehenuzzled

hischinintothecrookofmyneck,plantingopenedmouthkisses.

Itdidn’ttakelongforhisfingerstofindtheclaspofmybra,fumblinguntilitbroke

free.Hismouthfoundmineasthestrapsfellfrommyshouldersandtothefloor,smiling

andmutteringagainstit.“It’sbeenawhile.”

Iwrappedmyarmsaroundhisneck.“Samehere,Iwasneverinthemood…”

Ifrozewhenmysentencetrailedintothedarkroom,swallowingalumpthatwas

forminginmythroat.Shuttingmyeyes,thepainofthepastwasslowlyinvadingmy

mind.Ishook,recallingMartinpinningmeonthebed.

Jakesqueezedmetighter.“Didhe…?”Hisvoicefaded,holdingmynowstiffbodyto

hischest.“Youdon’thavetotellme,”hewhispered.

Ishiveredinhisarms,asingleteartrailingdownmycheek.Ihaddonesowell

keepinginmyfearsandmaskingthem,butitwasimpossiblewithJakerightinfrontof

me.Icouldn’thidebehindascreenanymore.Hewaspeelingbackmylayersatarapid

ratenow,andeverylittleimperfectionandembarrassingrealitywasgoingtocome

tumblingoutofmymouthtoamanwhoIhadjustmetfacetoface.

Hekeptahandonmyback.MylipquiveredasIlookedintohisface,buthisfeatures

wereonlyslightlyvisible,themoonlightdefiningtheshadows.Hecoveredmymouth

withafingertohushme,thenleadmetothebed,throwingthecoversback,urgingmeto

crawlunderthesheets.

“Don’t,don’tleave,”Istuttered,frightenedI’dscarehimawaybecauseIletmypast

momentarilycontrolme.

“Wasn’tplanningonit,”hewhispered,followingmeintobedandholdinghisarms

out.Itwasaninvitationformetosnuggleagainsthim,andIdidn’thesitate.Icurledinto

him,settingmyhandonhischest.Adustingofhairtickledmyfingertips.

Hisarmfitperfectlyaroundmyshoulder,hischinrestingonmyforeheadoncehe

wassettledandcomfortable.Theskinonskinofournakedchestswereintimate,a

closenessthathelpedeasemytension.

“Tellmesomethingthatmakesyouhappy,”Imurmuredthroughthedrypatchesin

mymouth.

“Makesmehappy?”Herepeated,hishandfindingmyponytail,twirlingitbetween

hisfingers.“Idon’tknow,alotofthings.”

“Like?”

Icouldfeelhisjawtickingagainstmyforeheadwhilehethought.“Well,mountain

biking.Ilovefeelingthebreezeagainstmyface.Theeverchangingterrainandsceneryon

anunbeatenpathisarush.Theadrenalineisbetterthananydrug.”

Idrewcirclesonhischestwhilehetalked.“Whatelse?”

“Writing,butthat’sobvious,”hechuckledagainstmytemple.

“Thatusedtomakemehappy,”Isighed.“IfonlyIcouldfindmygrooveagain.”

“Stickwithmeandyouwill.Don’tthinkaboutyourpublisher,writeforyou,Cora.”

Hishandleftmyhairandtracedthecontoursofmyback.Itwasrelaxing,andIfoundmy

eyesflutteringclosedandmybreathsteadying.

“Youknowwhatreallymakesmehappy?”Heasked,hislipsbrushingagainstmy

skinwitheachdelicateword.

Iwasfightingconsciousness,driftingintoslumbersafelyinhisarms.“Hmm?”

Coveringmyhandthathadstilledonhischest,hemurmured,“Whenyournamepops

onmyphone.”

Sighing,Isnuggledintohim,wrappingmyarmtighteraroundhimandhitchingmy

legwithhis.“Youmakemehappy,too,Jake.”

Icouldfeelhisgrinagainstmyforehead,thewarm,airybreezeofhisexhalebringing

comfortasittickledmyskin.

ChapterFourteen

MyarmwasnumbwhenIstartledfrommyrestlessdoze.Theculpritwascuddledto

myside,herbarechestgentlyrisingandfallingagainstmyribs.I’ddreamedofthisday

foryears.Ihadalwayscrushedonher.Anymalewouldbyherphotosonsocialmedia.

Shewasbeautiful,andmysimplecrushmagnifiedoncewestartedtalkingonaregular

basis.Ourconversationswereplatonic,mainlyaboutwritingandmarketing.Wewere

colleagues,butthesimplead-onsandsmalltalkaboutourlivesoutsideofthewriting

worldmademefalldeeper.Ilovedtobanterwithher.

Thefactthatshewasmarriedhelpedcurbmyattractionanddesireforher,butthe

moreshetalkedaboutthatprick,themoreIwantedtorescueher.NowthatIknewher

divorcewasn’tjustignoranceandlackofcompatibility,Iwantedtoscoopherupandkeep

herfromthatasshat.

Teachinghimalessonwouldhappenintheverynearfuture.Ihadtheresourcesand

thecapability.IwasmorethanjustaloneauthorlivinginNewZealand,andwasn’taman

tobemessedwith.Mydarkpastwasstillveryaliveinmypresentday,I’donlylearnedto

useitforgood.

Corastirred,rollingawayfromme,butstillusingmyforearmasapillow.Icouldn’t

helpbutturnwithher,scootingonmysideandmoldingmyfrontwithherback.Myhand

foundherhip,halfbetweenthesoftfabricofhershortsandthesmoothnessofhersilky

skin.Iwantedtoexploreherbodyfurther,butshewasn’tintherightframeofmind.That

fuckheadhurther,andwithouthersayingit,Iknewphysicalcontactwithhimhadn’t

alwaysbeenconsensual.

ThelastscenarioIwantedwasmycocktobeinsideofherandcauseforhertohavea

meltdown.IunderstoodPostTraumaticStress.Itwasabitch,andwouldhauntaperson

fortherestoftheirlives.Ihadbeenlivingwithmyownnightmaresburieddeepinthe

trenchesofmybrain.

Iranmyhandalongherribcageandtohershoulder,trailingdownherbicepand

backup,mappingoutherPakehabodywhileIcould.Glancingatthealarmclock,it

wasn’tevenmidnight.

I’dnormallyfallasleeparoundoneortwo,butImightnotsleepatalltonight.

Thetextmessagefromherdouchebagofanex-husbandwasathreat,anunlikelyone,

butIstillneededtobeonhighalert.Iknewallabouthim,whereheworkedandhispast.

Nothingshadywasinhisrecords,butthatdidn’tmeananything.ThesoundofCora’s

voicewhenshespokeofhimtoldmeenough,andwhenshehaddeflecteddiscussinghim,

thatraisedmoreredflags.

Hewassuccessfulandheldpowerinthebusinessworld,buthewasn’tamatchfor

mytype.Ifhesteppedfootonmyturf,he’dbefucked,andIwouldn’tintroducehimto

JakeCooper,theauthor,he’dmeetthedarksidereservedforbastardswhodeserveda

beating.

Irestedmyheadagainstthepillow,breathinginherscent.Shesmelleddivine,the

citrusscentofhershampoocapturedmysenses.Wrappingmyarmaroundherwaist,I

pulledherflushagainstme,thebareskinofherbackhotagainstmychest.Icircledher

navel,flexingmyhandalongherstomach.Shewasinshape,moresothanIexpected.Her

hourglassfigurewastodiefor,andherarsepressedagainstmygroinwasn’thelpingto

keepmynaughtythoughtsatbay.Keepingmyhandonherwaistandnottravelingupward

tohernakedbreastswasatruetestofself-control.

JustasIwasabouttoclosemyeyes,acreakofthefloorstirredmefromthequietof

thenight.NormallyI’dblameitonShepley,buthewassprawledacrossthedresserand

asleep.

IswiftlyremovedmyarmfromunderneathCora’shead,sneakingfromthebed.She

onlyfidgetedsome,butwentbackintoapeacefulslumber.

Inchingtothecloset,Ifeltforthehiddendraweronthetopshelf.Ikeptaglockthere,

amongstotherplacesthroughoutmyhouse.Nottakingmyeyesfromthedoor,Ifoundthe

latch,snappingitopenandretrievingtheweapon.

Iwasonfullalert,trainedincombatandpreparedtohandleanyintruderorsituation.

I’dtakendownmultiplemenonmyownwithoutbattinganeye.NowthatIhadprecious

cargosleepinginmyhome,Iwasanevenbiggerforcetobereckonedwith.

Icrepttothedoor,holdingmyglockinpositiontochecktheperimeter.Thedoorwas

ajar,makinginspectingthedarkhallwayeasier.Oncethehallwaywasclear,Igently

closedthedoor,pacingtowardmyofficeandbathroom,keepinganearoutformore

noises.

Ireliedonsoundasmuchasmysightwhenitcametostalkingaperpetrator.I’d

servedinthemilitaryasaFirstLieutenant,leadingtroopstocaptureterrorists.

Thatwaswhentherealmonsterinsideevolved.

Ithadbeenfiveyearssincemyaccident,nowIhadmyownwayofdealingwiththe

horrorsI’dseen.Writinghelpedtomaskthememories,buttheystillburnedinsideofme.

I’dneverbeabletocompletelyforget.

MyheartpoundedwhileIstalkedthroughthehouse,hyper-awareandpreparedfor

whatmightpopoutinfrontofme.Holdingmygunready,Istealthilymovedintothe

kitchenandlivingroom,themostopenedareasofthehouse.

Searchingintently,carefultowatchforshadowsplayingtricksonme,Ifollowedmy

instinct,crouchingasImovedtothefrontentry.Apattersounded,andIflungmybodyin

thedirectionofthenoise,heartthumpingsporadicallywiththechase.Didherdumbass

ex-husbandreallyfindus?Ihadunderestimatedhimifhedid.

Thenagain,Iwasn’tverypopular.I’ddestroyedafewdrugcartels’businesseswith

mynewlineofwork,andkeepinganeyeoutfortheirhenchmenwasaconstantbattle.

Thesoundcontinued,andsweatbeadedbehindmyneck.Therushoftheunknown

andpossibledangerthrilledme,keepingmyfearsaway,onlythecoldstonekiller’s

persona,makingitsappearanceinthedarkofthenight.

Turningquicklyfromthelivingroomandintothekitchen,Iaimedmygunforward.

Ifsomeonewashere,theywerehidingbehindthekitchenisland,andthey’dbefucked

onceIgottothem.Ishuffledforward,readytopullthetrigger.

IreleasedaheavybreathandloweredmygunwhenIreachedthebackoftheisland.

Amousewasnibblingonacrumbfromourdinneronthefloor,notbotheringtorunwhen

itsawme.Worthlesscat,IthoughtasIwatchedthemousesniffaroundtheedgeofthe

island,pickingupanothersmallpieceoffoodthatIsomehowmissed.

Iranmyfreehandalongmyforeheadandthroughmydamphair.Ineededtogeta

griponthesmallnoisesthatinvadedmyhouse.Ithappenedeverynight,mycombat

instinctwouldkickin,asifitwerelookingforareasontohuntandkill.

“Comehere,littleguy,youdon’tbelonginside,”Isaidinahush,chasingthemouse

towardthedeck,openingthesliderandshooinghimoutside.

Idoublecheckedallthelocksinthehouse,tellingmyselftostopbeingparanoid.It

didn’tmatter,though,I’dalwaysthinksomeonewerewatching.ItwashowIwastrained,

embeddedinmybrainthattheenemywasalwayslurkingandwaiting.

Headingtotheslidingdoorofmybedroomtothewraparounddeck,Idecidedtohelp

calmmynerves.Herexwasn’tathreattome,buttherewassomethingIcoulddo.

“Heyasshole,youthinkingaboutmeinbedagain?”Ben,thevoiceteasedonthe

otherline.Itwasmid-afternoonhistime.Iknewbecauseitwasthesametimezoneas

Cora’s.

“I’malwaysthinkingaboutyou,”Ijokedback.“Really,Ineedafavor.”

Hechuckled.“Savingyourlifewasn’tenough?”

Ismiledfondly.BenworkedsidebysidewithmeintheMiddleEastwhenI’dearned

themajorityofmyscarsandfuckedupmentality.Hegotme,evenifhewasontheother

sideoftheworld.“I’lladdtomydebt.Ineedyoutocheckuponsomeoneforme.”

“Iassumeit’sthesameguyaslasttime?”Iglancedthroughmydoorandoutintothe

hallwaytowardthelivingroom.ThelastthingIneededwasforCoratocatchmeonthe

phoneaskingaboutherex-husband.

“Yeah.He’smakingthreats.I’mnotworried,Ijustwanttomakesuretheassholeis

stillhidinginhistower.”

Ben’sinterestwaspiqued.“Henormallyis.Whatkindofthreatsarewetalking

about?”Weworkedthesamewayandforthesamepeople.Tryingtoturnourdarkness

intogood,onlyhehandledthenightmaresbetterthanIhad.

“Justatextmessage.Seemshe’s‘comingtogether.’I’mnotworried.”

“What?Sheflewtoyou?Yourcrushturningintosomethingelse?”Heprodded.Ben

lovedgivingmeahardtimewhenIfirstaskedhimforinformationonMartinKartman.

HetoldmeIwouldgoforagirlIcouldn’thave,eventhoughIneveradmittingtohaving

morethanfriendlyfeelingstowardsCora.“Timewilltell.”

Benlaughedunderhisbreath.“Goodlucktoyou,bro.You’vehadathingforthis

chickforsometimenow.Don’tworryaboutherex-husband.You’dkickthistwig’sassin

twoseconds.I’msureit’salltalk.I’llstopbyhisofficetomorrow.I’vegotbusinessthat

way.”

Myshouldersshrugged,releasingsometension.“Thanks,mate.Iknowit’safew

hoursfromyourlocation.”

“Nobiggie.LikeIsaid,I’vegottocheckuponaclientthatway,anyway.”

“Thanksagain,talktoyousoon.”

“Good.Callyoutomorrow.”

Isighedafterhangingupthephone,leaningagainstthedoorframeofmybedroom.If

CoraknewhowmuchI’dscopedoutonher,she’dbeterrified.Shakingmyhead,Iwent

backtowhatIwasdoing,shovingmyphoneinmypocket.

OnceIwasfinishedcheckingthelocks,Iwentbackintothekitchenandturnedonthe

dimlightabovethestove,downingaglassofwater,glockstillinhand.Igrippeditwith

whiteknuckles.I’dneedtogetaholdofmyconstantfearofsomeonewatchingme.

ChapterFifteen

Ihardlyslept,continuoustossingandturning,thevisionofthescreenonmyphone

glowingwithMartin’stextmessagehauntingmewheneverI’dclosemyeyes.Ithelped

thatJakewasalwaystherewhenIopenedmyeyes,lyingbesideme.Iwantedtoreachout

andtouchhim,butatthesametime,Ididn’twanttodisturbhissleep.Iwasalready

crampinghislifestylebybarginginonhimsolastminute.Hewantedmetocomesee

him,butamonthwasalongtimetoinvitesomeoneintoyourhome.Someoneyou’ve

neversharedspacewithormetinperson.

Kissinghimwasamazing,butIwasn’tsureifI’dbeabletohandlemore.Hewasfun

lovingandcaringeveryotherday,butIcouldtellhewasanalpha.Icouldfeelitinhis

handswhenhecuppedmybodyandmovedmehowhewantedinhishold.Itwasn’tabad

thing,itjustremindedmeofMartin,andhisalphamalestatusturnedvolatile.

Stretching,Iopenedmyeyes,onlytofindJakenolongerinbednexttome.Ishotup,

coveringmychestwiththesheet.

Hewasreadinganewspaperwhilesittinginachairbythedoor,startledfrommy

abruptmovement.Isuckedinabreathandreleaseditheavily.

“Goodmorning,”hegreeted,resituatinginhischairanddivertinghiseyesbacktohis

newspaper.“Didyousleepalright?”

Ibobbedmyheadbackandforth.“Wasn’thorrible.”

“Probablymyfault,I’mabitofabedhog.Sorryaboutthat.”

Igrinned,holdingthesheettightlytomychest.Theembarrassmentfromthenight

beforewasseepingoutasIreplayedourkissingandtouching.

Jakestoodfromthesofachair,foldingthepaperunderhisarm.Hehadapairof

mesh,blackshortsandadarkgrayt-shirtonwithhisbookseriesnameplasteredtothe

front.Hisdarkhairwastamedbutbynomeansstyled.“Youupforsomeadventure

today?”

Iarchedabrow.“Howadventurousarewetalking?”

Hissmileturneddevious.“I’dliketotakeyouoffthebeatenpath.Ifyou’reupforit.”

“Abikeride?”

“Amountainbikeride.I’veborrowedabikefromafriendforyou.”

“Oh,”Isaidevenly,myeyesfindingmylap.“Isitfromthegirlyouweretellingme

aboutyesterday?”

Hisbrowsknittedwithconfusion,andheshookhishead.“Mostdefinitelynot.”

WasheappalledIbroughtherup?“Alright,thefreshairwillbegoodforme,”I

sighed,stillholdingthesheettomychest.

Takingthehint,hemumbled,“I’llgiveyousomeprivacy,”thenheadedoutofthe

roomandclosedthedoor.

Iinhaledadeepbreath,runningbothmyhandsthroughmyhair.Ineededtostop

thinkingsomuch.Jakewasagoodguy,andjustbecausewehappenedtohaveayummy

kisslastnightthatthreatenedtobecomemore,didn’tmeanhewouldexpectformetobe

comfortablenakedinfrontofhim.Onekissdidn’tmakeaphysicalrelationship.

Hoppingoutofbed,Iwasgoingtodomybesttostartthedaynew.Iwasn’tallowed

tothinkaboutMartin,ordeadlines,orwheremylifewasheaded.Iwasstrictlygoingto

spendthedaywithmybestfriend.

ChapterSixteen

“Youready?”Jakeaskedafterpullingbothbikesoutofthebackofhistruck.He

broughtmetoaparkthatsupposedlyhadfriendlytrails.

Icrossedmyarmsandrubbedmybiceps.Thetemperaturewaswarm,yetthebreeze

feltcoolagainstmyskin.“We’llseeifallofthosespinclassesaretruetotherealthing.”

Jakesmirked,handingmeahelmet.“Whydon’tyouleadandsetthepace.”

Strappingthehelmeton,Igavehimanod.“SorryifIgotooslow.”Ihoppedonthe

bikeandgotsituated.

“Slowisfine.I’vegotagoodview.”Icranedmyheadovermyshoulder.Hewas

smirking,thenraisedhishandswhenIgavehimaglare.“Iwastalkingaboutthescenery,

whatwereyouimplying?”

Facingforward,Irolledmyeyesandbegantopedal.“Yeah,sureyouwere.”

Helaughedandbegantofollow.“Againwiththedirtymind.Youromancewriters…”

Iheldinmygiggle,lovinghiswit.

Werodethetrailsataleisurelypace,andtomysurprise,Ididn’tdohalfbad.I

thoughtforsureI’dbehuffingandpuffing,butfoundIhadmoretroublewiththebumps.

Theyslowedmedownatfirst,butonceIgotusedtothem,itbecamefun,andIfound

myselfpickingupspeedandplowingoverthemwithease.

Thewindonmyfaceandthesunbeatingdownonmybackwasrefreshing,

distractingmefromallofmyissues.Thescenerywasbreathtakingaswell.Themountains

wereasepicacrossfromtheplainswewereridingalong,asteadyriverwithrocks

streamednearthepath,thesoundofitsflowrelaxingagainstthecrunchofrocks

underneathourbikes.Wedidn’ttalkmuchatallbesidesJakefillingmeinonwhichway

thetrailwouldturnnext.

“Let’spulloffhere.”Hebikedtomysideinthegrass,leadingmetoanopening

wherealargewillowtreestoodoutamongsttherubbleandbrush.

WhenIjumpedoff,mylegsfeltwobbly.Imusthaveignoredtheachefromthe

foreignmusclesIwasusing.

“You’reachamp.Wejustrodefortwohours,”Jakesmiled,takingoffhishelmetand

hoppingoffhisbike.

Igavehimagrinback,takingoffmyownhelmet.“IthinkI’mgoingtopayforit

later.Howfarfromyourtruckarewe?”

Heslidhisbackpackoffandundidthezipper.“Notfar.Thoughtwecouldhave

lunch?”

Inoddedandtookaswigfrommywaterbottle.“Whendidyoumakelunch?”

“Whenyouweregettingready.Hopeyoulikesandwiches.”

“Soundsgreat.”

Hepulledoutasmallfabriccoolerandafoldedupblanket.Iwasimpressedthathefit

allofthatinthetinybag.

Ihelpedhimspreadouttheblanket,thenploppeddownontopofit.Myheartwas

stillracing.“Doyoudothiseveryday?”

Jakewasfiddlingwiththecooler,gettingoutallofthefoodhehadpacked.“Most

days.SometimesI’mstuckinsidebecauseofweather,orthevoicesinmyheadthatneed

tobeexpelledontomylaptop.”

Ismiledandtookabagofcutupapplesfromhim.“Beenthere.”

“I’msureyouhave.”

Irubbedmythighwithonehand.Nodoubtitwouldbetighttonight.Iprobably

shouldhavestretchedbeforesittingdown.Jakeputhishandonmyotherthigh.“Sore?”

Ireleasedaquickbreathfromhissuddentouch.“Notyet,sureIwillbetomorrow.”

Hemassagedtothetopofmyknee.“We’llstretchoutwhenwegetbacktothe

truck.”

Inodded,watchinghishandmovebackupmythigh.Thethickmaterialofmyblack

yogapantsinstantlyfeltthin,andIwishedIcouldfeelhiscallousedhandsagainstmy

skin.

Alltoosoon,heremovedhishand,givingmeabaggiewithasandwich.“Turkey?”

IreleasedthebreathIhadbeenholding.“Soundsgreat.”

Hebitintohisownsandwich,andweatewiththebeautifulnatureofNewZealand

surroundingus.ItwasapeaceI’dneverexperienced.Illinoishaditsshareofbeauty,but

nothingcomparedtotheextravagantplainsandmountainsthatwereinfrontofus.As

beautifulasthesunshinewas,itquicklybecamereplacedwithbumpyclouds,adarkness

castbehindthemasthemountainswerebeginningtobeswallowedbytheirgrowingmass.

“Lookslikeapopupstorm,”Jakepointedout,finishinghissandwichandeyeingthe

topofthetree.Itwasdensewithleaves,butIdidn’thaveconfidencethatitwouldkeepus

safe.

Standingandbrushingoffanycrumbsfrommythighs,Iwatchedtheapproaching

storm.“Shouldwetrytomakeitbacktothetruck?”

Jakestayedontheground.“Nah,we’llgetstuckinit.Itwon’tlastlong.We’llrideit

outunderthistree.Wouldn’tbethefirsttimeI’veusedthisspotforshelterfromtherain.”

Mybrowsknitted.“Yousure?”

Hestoodnow,grabbingthebikesandbringingthemunderneaththetreeandagainst

thetrunk.“Positive.”Hepulledoutasmallbagfromhisbackpack,unzippingittoreveala

waterresistantblanket.“Weprobablywon’tneedthis,butjustincase.”

Handingmetheblanket,hereadjustedtheoneweweresittingonsoitwasnearthe

trunkofthetree,thentookaseatwithhisbackagainstit.“Comehere,”heprompted,

holdingouthishandformetotake.Keepingtheblanketinonearm,Igavehimmyhand,

lettinghimguidemetositbetweenhislegs.

“SorryifI’msweaty,”heteased,spreadingtheblanketoverthetopofus.“ButIget

frightenedduringstormsandnormallycuddlewithShepley.”

“IguessI’lldealwiththesmellofB.O.,”Iteased.Bothhisarmswrappedaroundme,

pullingmetohischestandrestinghischinonmytemple.Ishouldhavefeltmore

awkward,butitwasjusttooeasywithJake,andIfoundmyselfcozyingagainsthim.

“Samehere,”heflirtedback,andIsnickered,nudginghischestwithmyelbow.He

squeezedmetighter,andIlethim.

Weweresettledintoeachother,wrappedintheblanketasthestormrolledin.I

blockedoutthefactweweresittingunderneaththetallestobjectnearby.Thankfully,it

wasonlyarainstorm,bigwaterdropletsplowingdownontheearthwithoutthunderor

lightening.Theleavesofthetreedidaprettygoodjobkeepingusdry.Notthatit

mattered;IwaseverdistractedbyJake.Thewayhefidgetedhishandsagainstmybiceps,

wouldrunhisnoseintomyhairasifhewerescentingme.Iwassweaty,andshouldhave

beenmortified.NowaydidIsmellasdeliciousashedidafterracingthroughthehillsand

mountains.

“Ihaveaconfession,”hemurmured.

“Andwhatwouldthatbe?”

Hislipstouchedtheshellofmyear,sendingashiverdownmyspine.“You’rethegirl

I’vehadacrushonforalltheseyears.”Heplantedakissbehindmyear,andgoosebumps

formedonmyarms.

Isqueezedhisforearmwithmyhand,tiltingmyheadbackathim.Iwasspeechless,

butinside,Isecretlyknewhehadmorethanfriendshiphopes.Icouldfeelitinhiskisslast

nightandbythewayheheldme.Theprotectiveinstinctheportrayedwasdeeperthanfor

afriendacrosstheworldthathappenedtobeinthesamecareerpath.

Hishandfoundmycheek.“Youdon’thavetosayanything,”hewhisperedwitha

smile.“Iknowyou’vejustcomeoutofaterriblerelationship,andI’mnotexpecting

anything.Ineverdid…butafterourkiss…Icouldn’tholdmytongueanymore.You’re

theappleofmyeye,Love.”

HoldingbacktheswellofemotionstothebestIcould,Icuppedthebackofhisneck

andguidedhimintomymouth,kissinghimastenderlyasIcould.Ididn’thavethewords

tosay,orunderstandwhymyheartwaspumpingsowildly.Kissinghimseemedlikethe

bestresponseIcouldgivehim.

Hegroanedintomymouth,grabbingaholdofmyhipsandturningmeinhislap.He

massagedmythighwhilewekissedunderthetree,theraincontinuingtostreamdown

intotheearth.Whentheweathercleared,Iwithdrewfromhim,pattinghischestwithmy

hand.“Weshouldheadback.”

Hetookadeepbreath.“Yeah,ifthat’swhatyou’dlike.”

Imethiseyes,splayingmyhandonhispec.“Ilikekissingyou,Jake,butmylegis

fallingasleep.”

Hegrinned,kissingmynose,butthenasadnessfellonhislovelyface.“Ifyoudon’t

wanttokissme,it’sfine.”

Istood,grabbingbothhishandsandhelpinghimupwithme.Givingeachhanda

squeeze,Isaid,“Idon’tknowhowtoexplainit.Ijust,don’twanttoletyoudown.”

Itwasthetruth.Myfirstrelationshipturnedoutlikeshit,andifIcouldhaveado

over,withJake,thatwouldbeoutofthisworld.Iwouldn’twanttomessitup.

Hisbrowsfurrowedtogether.“Whyonearthwouldyouthinkthat?”Takingmyhead

inhishands,hiseyeswerestormingwhentheymetmine.“Whateverthatmonsterdidor

saidtoyou,wascompletebullshit.Iknowyou,Cora,insideandout.Justbecausewe

haven’tseeneachotherfacetofaceforaslongaswe’vetalked,doesn’tmeanweknow

eachotheranyless.”

Atearescapedmyeye,andIbrokefreefromhishold.Ineededdistance.Emotions

werecreepingupfromdeepinmyheartthatIwasn’tfamiliarwith,anditfelttoogoodto

betrue.

“Cora,”hepleaded,followingmetoourbikes.Hisvoicewassofter.“Ididn’tmeanto

soundupset.”

Strappingonmyhelmet,Iwipedunderneathmyeye,refusingtoshowhimhow

confusedandupsetIwasbecoming.Ididn’tevenknowwheretobeginwithexplaining

mytears.“Canwetakethelongwayback?”Iasked,pushingthethicknessdownmy

throat.“It’sbeautifuloutnow,andIwouldn’tmindtheextrafreshair.”

Jakegrippedontomyhandlebar.“Sure.Headbackonthetrailwecameon.Whatever

you’dlike,Love.”

Inodded,andafterabeat,hereleasedme.

***

Thetrailswerefullofmudfromtherain,makingthetrekallthemorehard.Itwas

fine,Ineededthedistraction.Mybrainwasracingwitheverythoughtandpossible

outcomeformylife.TheyrangedfrommovingtoNewZealandandmakingbabieswith

Jake,tohimturningintosomecrazystalkerwhowouldtreatmetentimesworsethan

Martin.IknewIdidn’tdeservethat,IhadcometotheconclusionwhenIdecidedtoget

thegutstodivorcehim,butthefearofrepeatingmysamemistakeswasveryreal.

Ifoughtwithmyhead,tellingmyselfJakewascompletelydifferent,anditwasokay

tohavefeelingsforhim.SowhatifIhadjustsigneddivorcepapers?Ididn’tcheaton

him,nomatterhowmuchitmightlooklikeIhadifIsuddenlyfellinlove.

Wasthatwhatwashappening?Weretheseforeignfeelingsonesoflove?Myheart

constrictedinmychest.DidIreallyloveJake?Wasthatevenpossible?

Iwassodeepinmythoughts,thatIcompletelymissedthethickbranchcomingupon

thepath.Itwastoolate,andIhitithead-oninsteadofbracingmyselftorolloverit.

Instead,Istubbeditasifitweremytoeonadoor,completelyflippingoverthefrontof

myhandlebarsandintoamassivemudpuddlejustbeyondthelittlebump.

“Cora!Areyoualright?”Jakeshouted,dashingoffhisbikeandtossingittotheside,

holdingoutahandformetotakeasIsatinthethickmud.Ilookedatbothmyhands,and

downmybody,andtheinsanitykickedin.

Ilaughed,fullonkeelover,bellylaughed.MyshoulderhurtfromtuckingwhenIfell

inattempttobracemyself,butwhatelsecouldIdo?IfIdidn’tlaugh,Iwouldcry,andI

wasdonecrying.

Jakebegantolaugh,pullingmeoutofthemud.“Itakeityou’renothurt?”

Iswipedatstreaksofmudonarms.“Onlymypride.Ican’tbelieveIdidthat!Imust

havelookedridiculous.”

Jakepattedmyshouldersandsearchedmybodyforscrapes,butitwasimpossibleto

seeanythingbecauseIwascakedinmud.“Youwereactuallyquitegraceful.Goodthing

we’reclose,”henoddeddownthehillwherehistrucksat.“Imightmakeyousitinthe

backwiththebikes,”hejoked.

Ishookmyheadandsmiledathim,thendidmyownexaminingonhim.Hehad

streaksofmudalloverhimaswell.“Didyoufall,too?”

“Um,no.You,mylittlelovebug,wereturningupmudintomyfacethewholeway

back.”

Icoveredmymouthtohidemysmile.“I’msosorry!”

Helaughed.“It’simpossibletobeintherearandnotgetsomedirtinyourface.

You’lljusthavetohosemedownwhenwegetback.”

“Gladly,”Igrinned,retrievingthebikeandbeganwalkingdownthehillwithit.I

didn’tneedtoriskanotherfall.Inall,itdidhelpmeclearmyhead.Ineededthegiggle,

andmaybeeventhepaininmyshoulder.Andiflaughingmyselfdidn’thelptohealmy

nerves,seeingJakesmileandshowgenuineconcernsuremademefeelmoreatease.

Ineededtoletgoandexploremorewithhim.What’stheworstthatcouldhappen?I’d

haveapanicattackandscaretheshitoutofhim?Gobackhomeandfigureoutanother

waytocuremywriter’sblock?

Ineededtocleansemyselfandtry,justlikeIdidwhenIgotthegutstobedonewith

Martin.

ChapterSeventeen

Jakewasquiettheshortdrivebacktohishome.HesmiledandwouldanswerifI

askedhimaquestion,butsomethingwasbotheringhim.Icouldn’thelpbutthinkitwas

becauseIthrewonthebrakeswithhimanddivertedgoingfurtherunderneaththeWillow

tree.

“I’mgoingtohopintheshower,”Imumbled,takingoutmyhairtieandheadingfor

theguestbathroom.

“Soundsgood.”

Ifrownedallthewaytothebathroom.Ishouldhaveaskedhimtojoinmeandhelp

washthemudfrommybody,allowingtheinnocentshowerturnintoahotandsteamy

one,butno,Iwasawuss.Byhisshiftinmood,I’dbethewouldhaveturnedmedown

anyway.

Staringinthemirror,myeyeswidened.Iliterallyhadmudcakedallovermybody,

andwhenIstripped,mypale,cleanskinunderneathmadeitlooklikeIstillhadclothes

on.Iflushed,atouchofembarrassmentpassingthroughmeknowingJakesawmelooking

likethis,well,theversionwithclothingon.Iwonderedwhathewouldthinkofme

withoutclothing.Examiningmybody,Ibobbedmyheadbackandforth,thinkinghe’dbe

pleased.Martinneverseemedtofindmeattractive,buthecouldkissmyass.

WhenIwasfinishedcleaningup,whichtookaverylongtimetoscrubawayallofthe

mud,Igrabbedmylaptopandheadedforthebackporch.JakestartledmewhenIpassed

throughhisoffice.Hewassittingathisdesk,intentlyfocusedonwordsonhisscreen.

Itiptoedpassedhim,butfailedatopeningthedoorquietly.Icaughthislipturning

upward,buthiseyesremainedonthescreen.Hewasholdinghischinwithonehand.

“Sorry,”Imuttered,yankingonthedoor.

“Noworries.Thisversionofyouiswaylessintimidating.”

Ifurrowedmybrowswithconfusionathim.

Takinghisattentionfromthecomputer,hebroughthisgazetomine,asmirksettled

onhisface.“TheSwampThingwasn’tagoodlookforyou.”

Irolledmyeyes.“Yeah,IscaredmyselfwhenIlookedinthemirror.Whydidn’tyou

tellmehowridiculousIlooked?”

Hespuninhischair,bothhandspalmingeacharmrest.Hewasfreshoutofashower

aswell,hishairdampandpushedtotheside,acleangrayt-shirtandpairofblackgym

shortscoveredhisyummyleanbody.Hepulledoffthecasuallookperfectly.

“Youlookedcute,andIdidn’tthinkyouneededtoaddanyothertroublesonyour

plate.”

Myshouldersfell.“Ididn’tmeantofreakoutonyou.”

Heshookhisheadandsmiled.“Leastofmyworries,Love.”Hislineofsightfound

mylaptopclutchedundermyarm.“Gonnagiveitago?”

Inodded.“Can’thurt.”

Hesuckedinhisbottomlip,tappinghisfingersonthearmrest.“Thatwasn’ta

confidentresponse.”

“Ihaven’tbeenverysuccessful,well,besideslastnight.”Ishivered,rememberingthe

textmessage.

Jakestoodfromhisseat,toweringoverme.Thecleansmellofhissoapwasinviting.

“Maybeusethosefeelingstowardyournextmanuscript?Noonesaidyourwholestory

neededtobemushygushy.Livenitupwithsomecrazyex-husband.”Hegavemeawink.

“Yourpubwilllovethat.”

Ilaughedundermybreath.“Shewouldn’tmaketheconnection.Hersonisperfectin

hereyes,he’seven‘doingsomuchbetterwiththerapy.’She’scrazyandwantsustowork

thingsout.”

Jakecautiouslybrushedmydamphairfrommyshoulder.“Isthatwhatyouwant?”

Ipracticallysnortedinresponse.“Notachanceinhell.”

Hegrinned,settinghishandonmyshoulder.“Didn’tthinkso.Grantsyouallthe

powerintheworldtomakeyourvillainbejustlikethatson-of-a-bitchyouweremarried

to.Useyourhorribleexperiencestoenhanceyourstory.Don’tletittakecontrolofyou.”

Iswallowedandnodded.“You’reright.Itjustmighttakemesometime.”

Hedroppedhishand,hissmilebecomingsad.HetookmywordsmoreliterallythanI

meantforthemtobe.“You’vegotallthetimeintheworldatmyplace.Stayuntilyou

figureitout.”Heopenedthescreendoortherestoftheway.“I’llberightinhereifyou

needme.”

Ifrowned.DidIpushhimawayagain?Ireallydidn’tmeanto.

“Wanttojoinmeoutside?”

Hiseyesperkedup.“Youwantmycompany?”

Inodded,asmallsmiletuggingatmylips.“Ithinkitmighthelp.”

“Can’tsaynotoaprettyface.”Hegrabbedalaptopthatwaschargingnearhisdesk,

followingmeoutsideandsatoppositeofmeonthepatiocouch.Istretchedmyfeetacross

themiddlecushion,usingpillowstopropmybackagainstthearmrest.Jakewasrelaxed,

settinghisfeetontheottomanwithhiscomputeronhislap.Itwasacozyfeeling,bothof

uscomfyonthecouchdoingwhatwelove.Nowifonlythewordswouldstartspewing

frommybrain.

Ikeptgettingdistracted,peeringovermyscreenatJakedeepinconcentration.Ifhis

fingersweren’ttypingaway,hishandwasonmyankleorfoot,massagingorstroking.It

wassuchasimpleandmethodicalgesture,butfeltamazing.Iwasthankfulhismoodhad

returnedandhewasn’tafraidtotouchme.

Unfortunately,mywritingwasstillatastandstill.MaybeIneededtotakeJake’s

adviceandtryadifferenttwistinthestory.Itcouldn’thurt.Theworstthingthatcould

happenwouldbedeletingeverything.AtleastI’dgetmyfeetwet.

EventhoughIhadmadeupmymindonwhichwaytogowithmystoryline,Ikept

gettingdistractedbyJake.Hisstubblecoveredjawtickedonandoff,asignhewasin

deepthought.Thelookcamewhenhewouldstrokemyankle.

Afteranhour,hestretchedhishandshighabovehisheadandgrunted,settinghis

laptopontheottoman.Herotatedonthecouchandpulledmyfeetontohislap,beginning

tomassagethemwithbothhands.Ihidmydelightedeye-rollbehindmycomputerscreen.

Itfeltamazing,especiallyafterthelongbikeride.Hishandstookturnsbetweenmyfeet

andmyankles,thengrippeduptomycalves.“Wedidn’tstretchoutaftertheride.”

“Thiswillhelp,”Isighed,meltingintothecouch.

Hesmiled,continuinghispathupmylegs.Igiggledwhenhisthumbstrokedthe

insideofmyknee,jerkinginreactiontobeingtickled.

Jakechuckledunderhisbreath,graspingontomythigh.“DidIfindyourfunny

bone?”

Settingdownmylaptopsoitwouldn’tfumble,Itriedtopullmylegfromhishold,

buthewouldn’tbudge.“Yes!Whathappenedtomassaging?”

Awickedgrinspreadacrosshislipswhileheresituated,climbingtohiskneesand

straddlingoneofmylegs.“Thisismassaging.”Bothhishandsfoundthebacksofmy

kneesandwiggled,thetouchshootingmeintofitsoflaughter.Isquirmedunderneathhim,

grabbingaholdofhisstrongwrists.“Jake,stop!Thattickles!”

Wewerebothlaughingnow,hishandscaressingmoregentlyuptheoutsidesofmy

thighs.Icaughtmybreathsome,onlyforittobestolenagainwhenhefoundmysides,

showingnomercy.Hehoveredovermenow,hiswhiteteethbeamingthroughhissmile

whileIgiggledandsquirmed.

Restingbothhishandsoneithersideofmyarmsonthecouch,hestareddownatme

whileIcaughtmybreath.“Thatwassomean,”Igrumbledwithagrin,wipingthetearsof

laughterfromundermyeyes.

“Yes,butworthittoseeyousmiling.”Hegazeddownatme,andmyheartfluttered.

“I’msorryaboutearlier,”Iwhispered,wantingtoreachupandtouchhisface,but

refrained.

Hisbrowspinchedtogether.“Whyareyousorry?”

Itookadeepbreath,divertingmygazefromhisfacetothebitofchesthairdownhis

shirt.“Ishouldn’tbesoafraidtobephysicalwithyou.”

Jakerotated,lyingbetweenthecouchbackandme.Restingonhiselbowandsetting

hischininhishand,hesaid,“That’snotwhyIwantedyoutocomehere,Cora.”

Iclosedmyeyes.“Iknowit’snot,but…Ihavealloftheseweirdemotionscreeping

upandIdon’twantthemtofreakyouout.”

Hechuckled.“Youcouldn’tfreakmeout.Obviouslyyou’venevermetanyofmyex-

girlfriends.”

Iopenedmyeyesandturnedtomysidesowewerefacetoface.“I’mserious,Jake.

ThelastthingIneedistocompletelyloseitwhilebeingwithyou.”

Jakebroughthishandtothesideofmyface,histhumbstrokingmyjaw.“Idon’t

wantthateither.Whywouldyouloseyourself?”

Istudiedhisface,theimageofhimstillsonew.Hewasgorgeous.Thesoftnessofhis

browneyesagainsthissharp,darkandthickeyebrowswasmasculine,hisjawdefinedand

pricklywithdarkfacialhair.Theonlydebatableimperfectionwasascarabovehiseye

thatIhadn’tevennoticeduntilnow.Itwasendearing,andmadehimmorehandsome.

“Cora?”Heprompted,catchingmyeyeswithhis.

Takingadeepbreath,Iwilledmyselftoopenuptohim.

“MylastyearwithMartinwasn’twhatamarriageshouldhavebeenwhenitcameto

thephysicalpart.Itdidn’tfeelthesame,didn’tfeelright.SoIstoppedmaking

advancements,andIturnedhimdownquitefrequently.Youcanimaginehowthatmade

himreact.”Iswallowedthedrylumpthatwasforminginmythroat.Ihadn’ttalkedabout

thiswithanyonebesidesthetherapistthatwasappointedbythehospital.

Jake’sbrowswerefurrowed,buthecontinuedtolisten.

“Thelastfewmonthsofourmarriage,hejuststartedtotakeme,evenifIdidn’twant

to.Itwasn’tagoodexperience.”Jake’shandremainedonmyface.“IjustfeellikeI’m

damagedgoodsforyouwhenitcomestopleasingaman.”

“Alright,let’sgetafewthingsoutonthetable,”hebegan,asternnessinhisvoicethat

didn’tmatchhistypicalplayfulness.“I’dneverexpectyoutodoanythingwithmeyou

weren’tcomfortablewith,andwillmostcertainlyNEVERforceyoutodoanything.

Intimacyisatwowaything,ifitdoesn’tfeelgoodforyou,thenitdoesn’tfeelgoodfor

me.”

Icowardsome,buthejerkedmyfacetolookathim.“Second,nothingaboutyouis

damaged.You’reliterallythemostperfectwomanI’veevermetandlaideyeson,sodon’t

thinkforaminutethatI’deverbedisappointed.Doyouunderstand?”

Inodded.Ialreadyknewallofthisinmyheart,buthearingitfromhimhelpedforit

tosinkintomyhead.

“IguessIfeellikeIshouldhavemoreguiltthanIdoforbeinghere.Ijusthadanasty

divorce.Shouldn’tIbemoreupset?Notfeelingcomfortableinanotherman’sarmsso

soon?ThetherapistmadeitsoundlikeImightneverbereadytobewithaman,butevery

partofmeisscreamingtodiveintoyourarmsandburymypast.”

Jakeletgoofmyfaceandcurledhisarmaroundmywaist.“Noonewilljudgeyou

here.We’veknowneachotherforalongtime.It’snotlikeyoupickedmeupatabar.”

“Idon’tthinkI’dcareifIwerejudged,IjustgetworriedI’mgoingtowakeupand

haveabreakdown,realizingI’vedonesomethingtoosoonbecausethetextbookansweris

tobecautious.”

Bothhisarmsclungaroundme.“You’reallowedtobecautious,Ijustwantyoutobe

happy.”

Iwrappedmyarmaroundhiswaistandcoziedagainsthischest

Jakerelaxedintome,runningahandthroughmyhair.Itfeltsonicetobeinhisarms.

Hischestroseupanddownagainstmycheek,thesoundofhisheartsoothingmeand

helpingmymindtofocus.Iwantedhim,morethanjustafriend,anditwouldhappen

soon.

ChapterEighteen

Webothstayedquietineachother’sarmsuntilourstomachsbegantogrowl.

Untanglingourlimbsfromeachother,wegotupandbeganpreparingdinner.There

wasn’tmuchtalkbetweenus,atleast,nothingheavy.WhenIofferedwine,shepassed.It

wasprobablyforthebetter.Shedidn’tneedalcoholtoconvincehertodosomethingwith

meshe’dregretinthemorning.

Although,Icravedbeingnearherbody.Icouldn’tstopmyhandsfromsimpletouches

whilewemovedaroundthekitchen.Imayhavetakenthelongwayaroundtheisland

countersoIcouldrunmyhandalongthesmallofherbackonmywaytotherefrigerator

oroven.Shedidn’tcomplainorflinch,onlysmiledandcontinuedwithhertask.Sheeven

nudgedmeafewtimeswhenI’dwalkby.

Now,weweredonewithdinner,sittingontheporchwiththesettingsunpaintinga

breathtakingsunsetofmultiplecolorsacrosstheskyline.

“I’mgoingtogainweightifyoukeepcookingmemealslikethis,”shesighed,

stretchingherarmsoverherhead.

“Youhelpedcooktonight.Besides,wehadawell-balancedmeal.”

Shelaughed.“Balancedwithfatandcarbs!”

Ismiledather.“Youchoppedveggiestogowiththepasta.Thatcountsasbeing

healthy.”

“Ithinkthenutritionfadeswhenthey’redrenchedwithbutter.”

Ishruggedmyshoulders,takingourplatesandheadingbacktothekitchen.She

didn’tfollowme,butstood,walkingtowardtherailingandgazingatthesky.Dropping

thedishesintothesink,Ifoundmywaybacktoher,studyingherexpression.Shewasn’t

easytoread.

“Howdidyouenduphere?”Sheasked,herbrowsfurrowing.

Mybackstiffened.“What?InNewZealand?”

Sheshrugged.“Onthislakeinthemountains.Isyourfamilynearby?”

Rubbingthebackofmyneck,Itriedtocomeupwithawaytochangethesubject.I

didn’twanttotalkaboutme.Sheseemedtolikemeforwhatsheknew.Heropinionofme

couldchangeinaninstantifsheknewwhoIreallywas.

“Mumisaboutahalfhourdrivenorth.Dadislostinthedesert.”

Sheliftedbrow.“Lostinthedesert?”

Inodded,grippingtherailingandstretchingmyownbacknow.“Haven’tseenhimin

alongtime.”

Sherotatedsoherelbowwasrestingontherailing.“Idon’tunderstand.”

Takingadeepbreath,Idecidedtotellherthetruth,atleastashortversionofit.“He’s

inthemilitary,overseas.”

Shesquinted.“Really?”

“Yep.”

Shewaitedformetogivehermoreinformation,butIstayedsilent.

“Whataboutsiblings?”

“Onlyme.”

Shescowled.“Youdon’tliketotalkaboutyourfamily,doyou?”

“Whywouldyousaythat?”

Sheeyedmefromheadtotoe.“You’rewounduptighterthanaknittedblanket.”

Istraightenedfromtherailing,turningsowewerefacetoface.“Notawholelotto

say.Idon’tseethemoften,ifatall.”

Herlipstwisted.“We’vegotthatincommon.”

Ifrowned.“Maybeyoushouldreachouttothem?Nowthatyou’redivorced.Martin

wasalwaystheproblembetweenyouandthem,wasn’the?”

Shehuggedherself,divertinghergazebacktothesettingsun.“Theymostdefinitely

didn’tlikehim.Idon’tevenknowifthey’reinthesamehouse.It’sbeenaverylong

time.”

Iswallowedthelumpinmythroat.IkeptmydistancefrommymumbecauseIfelt

guilty,notbecauseshedidn’twantmearound.

Shebithernail.“I’mnotsureifI’mreadytotalktothemanyway.Howgoodof

peoplecantheybeiftheybeiftheydisownedtheironlydaughter?”

“True.Goodthingwe’vegoteachother,yeah?”Ismiled,wantingtobedone

discussingourfamilies.Shenodded,givingmeagrin.Hercheekswereflushedasifshe

wereembarrassed.

Islidmyarmaroundhershouldersandpulledhertomyside.Sheeasedintome,

huggingmywaistandrestingherheadonmycollarbone.Itwascomforting.

“Howoftendoyouseeyourmom?”

Myhandsqueezedherbicep.“Hardtosay.”

Shetriedtomeetmyeyes.“Youdon’thavetotalkaboutherifitmakesyou

uncomfortable.”

Isighed,clearlydoingaterriblejobofhidingmyunwillingnesstotalkaboutmy

family.“Wejustaren’tthatcloseisall.Shehasherownlife,andsodoI.”

Herheadfoundmychestagain,cozyingintome.“Ifthat’sall,thenwhyisyourheart

racing?”

Isuckedinmybottomlip,willingmynervestocalmdown.I’vealwaysbeenableto

hidebehindmywitorsarcasm,butnotwithCora.Shewasopeningupmyemotionsand

unravelingallthethingsI’dworkedsohardtokeepfromoutsiders.

Sheheldmetight.“I’llstopprodding.”

Iletoutabreathofair,caginghertomyfrontwithmyarms.“Thankyou,”I

whisperedintoherhair.

***

Coraheadedtobedafterthesunhadgonedown,onlygazingatthestarswhilebeing

ineachother’sarmsfortooshortoftime.Iwantedtofollowherintobed,tuckherin,or

spoonher,butshedidn’taskmetojoin,soIfiguredthatmeantshewantedsomedistance.

Iwastheoneshuttingdownonhernow,notbeingabletodiscussmyfuckeduplife.

Theworstpartwas,itwasmyfaultforthefallout,andIwassoscreweduponhowtofix

it,orifI’deverbeableto.

Withthedarknessofthenight,myparanoiacametoitsuglyhead,andmyroutineto

securethehousebegan.Igrabbedmyglockfrommyclosetwhereitwasneatlyplaced

amongstmycollection.Theywerelockedincabinets,thekeytuckedinthecornerbehind

ashelfnearthedoor.

ShepleystayedinsidewhileIwalkedaroundthehouse,myglockcockedandready.

NotthatIthoughtCora’sex-husbandwouldactuallyhavetheballstocomeoutthisway,

butIdidn’twanttoriskthechance.Iwasn’tafraidofhim,butIdidn’twantanysurprises

either.

Themoonwasbrighttonight,makingmystakeouteasieronmyeyes.Thelightwas

outintheguestroom,andasbadlyasIwantedtopeekinside,Irefrained.Lookingather

throughtheglasswouldscreamcreeper.

Besidesaraccoonmoseyingthroughthewoods,theperimeterwascleared,andI

headedbackinside,makingmyroundstriplecheckingthedoorsandsliders,thenplopped

onthelivingroomcouch.WithCorainthehouse,Iwasgoingtorefrainfromcarrying,

butmygunbroughtmepeace,andifshewasn’tgoingtobeinmyarms,Iwouldkeepit

withinanarm’sreachunderneaththecouch.

ShepleyjumpedontomystomachonceIlaidonmyback,purringloudlyinmyear.

HealwayswantedaffectionatthistimeofnightwhenI’dturnthetubeonandsettleinfor

theevening.

Iscratchedhisneck,arguingwithmyselfonwhyIshouldstayoutofCora’sroom.

Shewasmostlikelyexhaustedmentallyandphysically.Mentallyfromalloftheheavy

conversationswehad,andphysicallyfromthedrainingbikeride.Shewasn’tusedtothe

roughterrainofNewZealand,andnodoubtshe’dbesoretomorrow.Icouldknockonher

doorandofferhersomecreamforhersoontobepainedmuscles,evenoffertorubiton

forher,sothestrongsmellwon’tbestucktoherhands.

Shepleyletoutalowgrumbleasifhewereansweringmyinnerthoughtswithabig

no.IfrownedatthepatheticcatwhowouldfalloverandoffofthesideofthecouchifI

movedmyhandfrompettingbetweenhisears.“Iknow,I’llleaveheralone,”Imumbled,

reachingfortheremoteandturningonthetele’.

ChapterNineteen

“Where’sthedrone?Weneedtotakeoutthetarget!”

MyhandswerecakedwithsandwhileIfiddledwiththecontrolpanelasfastasI

could,doingmybesttoblockouttheloudexplosionsofrapidfire.

Weweren’tpreparedfortheambush,andmyracingheartwasdoingitsbesttonot

giveout.WewouldhavebeentoastliketherestofcampiftheSargenthadn’tbeenblessed

withintuitionandearslikeabat.Hehadbeenoddallnightaroundthefire,shakinghis

headandlookingoverhisshoulderasiftheenemywerenearby.Heevenwantedtohead

outearlierthanwe’dplanned,butI’dbarteredwithhim,givinghimahardtimefornot

allowingourgroupenoughrest.Weleftforourmissionjustearlyenoughtogetoutbefore

theenemybegantoattackourbase,leavingusdeadbetweentheirfrontmenandour

fellowservicemembers.

Thetemperatureinthedeserthaddroppedsignificantlythatnight,causingthesand

tomoistenunderneaththehardrockswewerehidingbehind.Thesunwasstillanhour

fromrising,theairfilledwithmorethanthechillofevil.

“We’vegottotakeouttheirmainweaponbeforetheydestroythewholebasecamp,”

Sarginstructed,peekingovertoponeofthelargerocks.Iswallowed,tryingtocontainmy

shakinghandswhileIloadedmyowngun.

Beingasoldierwasinmyblood,Sargtoldme,butIwasachickenshitatthis

moment,withenemiesallaround,andtheonlyhopefortherestofthetroopswouldbemy

aim.

“Theirmainbundleoftroopsfiringhistwentydegreesnorthwest.Youneedtosend

thedrone,NOW!”Hedemanded,puttinghishandonmyshoulder.“Now!”

Takingadeepbreath,Iplacedthelastpieceofammunitiononthedrone,readying

myselftosendit,butmyfearwasoverpowering.

“Youcandothis,”Sargencouraged.Hewasalwayssohardheadedanddemanding,

buthissmoothtonegavemethecourageIneeded.“Martellwillcoveryou,nowGO!”

Igavehimanod,thenflewtomystomach,crawlingalongtheharshrocksmixedwith

thedampsand.GunfireshriekedinmyearsasIcrawled,thetriggerofMartell’sgun

lockedandloadedashefollowedonmyheels.Thiswasmyjob.Myfatherhadraisedme

forit.I’dgettothecorrectspotandlaunch,itwasonlyanothertenfeetaway.

Allofthedrillsandmiddleofthenightpretendraidsweresupposedtopreparemefor

this,butitwasn’tenough.Ididn’tgetthedronethereintime,andmyentirebodyjolted

fromthemassiveboomthatexplodedfromthedirectionwehadjustleft.

Rightwheretherestofmytroopwas.

IncludingSarg.

Isuckedinagulpofairandflewuprightfromthecouch.Mychestwastight,air

desperatetomoveinandoutofmylungs.Myheartwasracing,sweatdrippingfrommy

templesanddownthemiddleofmyback.Thedreamthathadjoltedmeawakehadn’t

hauntedmeinalmostayear.

Oncemyhearthadfounditsnormalpace,Ituckedtheglockfromunderneaththe

couchinthebackofmyshortsandstoodfromthecouch,runningmyhandsthroughmy

hair.Thedreamswerenevereasy,andweremoreintensewhenIfeltvulnerable.Corawas

peelingapartmylayers,andIwasgoingtohavetogetagriponrealityifIweregoingto

letherintomylife.

Findingtheglassesinthekitchen,Ifilleditwithwater,poundingitdown,willingitto

helppullmebacktothenowandawayfrommypast.

Acreakcaughtmyattention,andmybackstraightened,thehairsonmynecksticking

straightupbetweenthebeadsofsweat.Settingtheglassdown,Imovedmyeyestothe

hallwaywherethesoundcamefrom.JustasIwasabouttoliftthegunfrombehindmy

shorts,atimid,wide-eyed,caramelhairedbeautypokedherheadaroundthecorner.Her

haircascadedaroundhershoulder,fluffedandmused,nolongerupinaponytaillike

before.Shewasasexysightformypainedeyes.

Ifroze,untuckingthegunfrommyshortsandloweringitbelowtheisland,thankfulit

wasoutofhersight.“DidIwakeyou?”Iasked,clearingmythroat,openingacupboard

belowtheisland.Isettheguninsidebehindaboxofcattreatsthenrosebackup.

“No,”shesaidsoftly,tiptoeingaroundthecornerandtowardme.Sheheldapillowto

herchestforcover.“Iheardanoise.Iassumeditwasyou,butI’mparanoid.”

Wehadthatincommon.“So,Ididwakeyou,butyou’rejusttoonicetotellme

otherwise.”

Shewalkedaroundtheislandcounteruntilwewereafewfeetapart.

“Iwassleepingsosoundly.SomethingIhaven’tdoneinalongtime.”

“Icouldtellbythewayyouweresnoring,”Iteased.“Heardyouallthewayout

here.”

Sherolledhereyesatme.“Idon’tsnore!”

Imerelyshruggedmyshoulders.

Shakingherhead,sheslappedmyarmplayfully,herfingertipsgentlystrokingwhere

shehadsmackedme.Nowwewerestandingonlyinchesapart.

Myeyesdancedwithhumor,andsheknewIwasonlykiddingwithher.

“Haveyouslept?”

Ipointedtotheemptyglassonthecounter.“Alittle.Iwasthirsty.”

Shenoddedherhead,hereyesfindingtheglowofthetelevision.“Wereyousleeping

onthecouch?”

Inodded.“Iwantedtobeclosebyifyouneededme.”

“That’ssweetofyou.”Hervoicewassmallwhenshespoke,herfingerslightly

tracingcirclesalongmybicep.

Isearchedherface,tryingtofigureoutwhatwasgoingoninthatbeautifulbrainof

hers.

Bravely,sheremovedthepillowfromcoveringherchest,settingitontheisland

counter.Tomypleasantsurprise,shewasshirtless.Myeyesroameddownwardwithno

shame,completelyforgettingtheterriblenightmareIhadonlyminutesago.Herbreasts

wereperkyandfull,andthegentlemaninsideofmewassmackingthebackofmyheadto

lookaway,butIignoredhim.

“Cometobedwithme,Jake,”Corapurred,hervoicelowandseductive.

Myeyessnappedtohers.Shewasbitingherlip,acomehitherstarepointedmyway.

Mycockstirredinmyshorts.Didshereallywantthisrightnow?

Herarmssnuckaroundmywaist,herpebblednipplestemptingmychilledskin.

Shetrailedherfingersupanddownmyspine.“Areyouokay?You’resweatyanda

bitclammy.”

Inodded,claimingherlipswithmymouth.Shedidn’tneedtoknowtherealreason

whyIwasawake.

Shehummedintomymouth,hertonguedemandingentrance.Ihuggedherclose,

bothmyhandsslidingdownherbackandtoherass,grippingeachcheektightly.Ineeded

herthisway.Iwaspentupandanxious,andtheacheforCorawasmakingmeinsanewith

lust.

Idugmyhandsunderhershortsinsearchforskin,findinglace.Shemoanedagainst

mymouthwhenIspreadhercheeks,myfingersdangerouslyclosetoherhotentrance.I

rubbedovertopthelace,mymouthleavinghersandsearchingforherneck.Shegroaned,

herhandsgraspingchunksofmyhair.ShewantedthisjustasbadlyasIdid.Icouldtellby

theriseandfallofherchest,theslickheatmoisteningherpanties,howherbodytrembled

asIsuckedonherneck.Myfingersitchedtoenterher,feelthewarmandsoftplacethatI

cravedtoexplorewithmultiplepartsofmybody.

Thiswasn’tthetimidCora.Shesaidshewasworriedshe’dfreakoutifwewere

intimate,andIwaswillingtotakethatrisk.

Shereachedbehindher,grabbingaholdofmywristsandbreakingourembrace.

“Cometobed,”shepanted,walkingbackward.

Icaughtupwithher,pickingherupandlatchingherlegsaroundmywaist.

Sheclungontothebackofmyneckwithherhands,lickingherlipswithintent.I

nuzzledbetweenherbreastswhileIcarriedher,nippinggentlyandlicking,findingmy

waytoonepertnipple.ShemoanedasIsuckled,graspingmyhairandshovingmyhead

intoherchest.

Wetumbledtothebed,herflatonherbackandmeontop.Istayedfocusedonher

luscioustits,kissingandlickingonenipple,rubbingmycheeksbetweenthembefore

findingtheother.Shearchedherback,hercoresearchingforfriction.

Unabletoslowmyselfdown,Idoveonehanddownward,cuppingandmassagingher

moundoverthetopofhershorts.Shegroaned,wigglingbeneathme.

“Jake,please,”shebegged.

Tugginganipplebetweenmyteeth,Islippedmyhandunderhershorts,findingthe

smoothwarmthofherpubicbone,travelinglowertoherhotcenter.Shewasprimedand

ready,myfingersbarelyfindinganytractionastheyenteredhertighthole.

“Ohyes,”Ihissed.“You’refriskyrightnow,aren’tyou,Love?”

ShesighedinreliefasIstrokedher,herhipsgrindingontomyhand.

Takingmylipsfromhernipple,Iwatchedherreaction,pumpingmyhandinasteady

rhythm.Herjawwasrelaxedyethereyeswereclenchedclosed.Shewasabsolutely

gorgeous.Sheneededtocome,morethanonceandhard.Iwantedtoblowhermind.

Iremovedmyhand,onlysoIcouldpeeldownhershortsandpanties.Shehelpedkick

themoffinahurry.Bothmyhandsmassagedfromheranklestohercalves,slowly

inchingopenherlegs.Shequiveredslightly,hermangledbreathloudinmyears.“Be

patient.”Iwarned,kissingtheinsideofherknee.

Herheaddippedbackintothepillowasmymouthtrailedhigherupherthigh.She

knewwhereIwasheaded.Herchestheavedinanticipation,bothherhandsoneitherside

ofthepillow.Shewasabeautifulsightagainstthemoonlight,andmyballsdrewupwhen

Ifoundthecenterofherthighs.

Thehypnoticscentofherexcitementfilledmynostrils,andagutturalgrowlescaped

frommychest.“You’redivine,Love.”

ShegiggledandsquirmedwhenIranmynosealongherfolds.Ipoppedmyheadup,

holdingherlegsopenwhenshetriedtoclosethem.“Don’tgetshyonmenow,romance

writer.”

Shecoveredherfacewithbothhands,herhairfallingintoabeautifulmessaroundher

face.“Iknow,Iknow,it’sjustbeenareally,reallylongtimesinceanyonehasgonedown

there,andhewasn’tveryniceaboutit.”

Ifurrowedmybrowsather.“Whatdoyoumean?”

Shepeekedthroughherhands,hereyesbigandashamed.

Clenchingmyjaw,Icontrolledmyanger.Ihatedherex,moreandmorebythe

second.Hewasagreedymoronwhodidn’tknowwhathehad.Plantingmyselfback

betweenherlegs,Igraspedherthighs,spreadingherlegsopensoIcouldfeastonher.

“Yousmellamazing,prettyandpink.Mymouthiswateringatthesightofhowwet

formeyouare.”

Atremorranthroughherthighsatmywords.“Forgetwhateverthatfuckfacesaidto

you.Heclearlydidn’tknowagoodpussywhenhesawone.”

Herhandswentbacktocoveringherface,nodoubtshewasstillself-conscious.

Thatwouldn’tbethecasesoon,Iwassettledinandeagertosetoffsomefireworks.

Shedeservedtobespoiledwithorgasms.NodoubthereyeswouldbeonmebeforeIwas

donewithher.ShewasawatcherifIhadtoguess,andhavingthoseemeraldeyesonme

whileIateheroutwouldbeexciting.

Iblewuphersex,slippingmytonguebetweenherlips,trailingalongthesoftskin.

HerlegsquiveredwhileIexploredeachside,thendraggedbetweenthetwountilIfound

herswollenbud.WhenIcircledit,shewithered.Igrinnedwithsatisfaction,continuing

theagonizingpace.Slowandsteadyalwayswontheracewithawoman,especiallywhen

theywerestuckintheirownheads.

Herhandssoonfellfromherface,graspingthesheetsathersides.Shenolonger

foughtmyholdonherlegs,butbegangrindingherhipsagainstthemovement.Mydick

washardasstonewithherbody’sreactiontomymouth.Iwaseagerandreadytobe

surroundedbyherwarmth.

Keepingmytongueinrhythmwithherhips,Ireleasedoneofherthighs,inchingmy

fingersbetweenherslickheat.ShegaspedwhenItoyedwiththerimofherentrance,her

hipshaltingatthedualsensation.Flatteningmytongueagainsthersensitivenub,I

insertedtwothickfingers.

“OhmyGod,”shegasped,herbodycontortingwithpleasure.Themeresightofher

onthebrinkoforgasmwaserotic.WatchinghermouthformadelicateO,herlegs

trembling,herhandsclenchingthesheetswhileherbackarcheddeeperintothe

mattress…Ishudderedfromtheview.Theglowofthemooncaughtthecontoursofher

stomachmusclesflexingwitheachraspybreath,andIcouldn’tlookawaywhileI

devouredher.Iwasonthevergeofblowingevenwithoutbeingtouched.

Keepingthesamemotionwithmytongueonherclit,Icontinuedthegentleinandout

strokes,rubbingthebubblethatwasnearburstinginsideofher.Iachedtofillher,but

knewsheneededtobegoodandprimedbeforeIenteredherwithmycock.Iwasn’tan

averagesize,andmakingthemomentI’dlongedforuncomfortablewouldkillthedream.

“Jake,”shecroaked,herhandfindingthetopofmyhead,oneleghitchingontomy

shoulder.Herhipsgroundagainstmyface,andInuzzledagainstherheat,applying

infinitepressurewithmytongue.

Arushofwarmthseepeddownmyfingersandfloodedmymouth,andIknewshe

wasmomentsawayfromlosingherself.Hersoft,quickbreathsbecamelouder,forming

incoherentwordsthefastermytonguepulsed.Sinkingmyfingersinasfarastheywould

go,Irubbedrapidly,andthedambroke.

Corawitheredonthebed,herthighsshakingwiththequakeofherorgasm.Herclit

throbbedinmymouth,smackingagainstmygreedytongue.Bothofherhandswere

graspingmyscalp,fistfulsofhairineitherhandwhilesherodeoutthehigh.

Mymouthlefthernub,switchingplaceswithherclenchingcore,lappingupher

orgasmasifIneededittobreath.Shewassodeliciouslysoaked,andIwasstarvedforher.

Hertremblinghandsyankedonmyheadformetoleavehercore,butIwasn’tready.

Shewasstillcoming,andmylipswantedmore.Swipingmychinupherdrenchedslit,I

foundherclitagain,suckingonthepulsingbudofnerves.

“Ahh…”shegroaned,squeezingherthigharoundmyshoulders.Thequakeinsideof

herbegantodull,butIwasbringingherbacktothebrim.Corawouldcomeinmymouth

again,thenI’dstuffhersnugholewithmycock.

Mypassionwasintensenow,bothmyhandsfindingherluscioustits.Herback

bowed,helpingthemtofillmyhandswhileIlickedandsuckedhersointimately.Bothher

legswerewrappedaroundmyshouldersnow,herhipsbuckingwildly.

Igroanedintohercore,sendingvibrationsthroughoutherwholepussy,soreadyfor

herfloodgatestoopenandpourintomymouthonceagain.Shewouldbegoodand

soaked,readyforustobecomeascloseaspossible.

“Youaresofuckingsexy,”Igruntedintohersweetflesh.

Shemoanedatmywords,herhandsclenchingaroundmineonherbreasts.

Hercoretightenedagain,theflickerofherclitmingledwithmytongue.Herhoarse

voicemumbledintothenightair,andsheexplodedagain.

Shescreamedoutmyname,herwholebodyconvulsingfrommytirelessmouth.I

liftedmychinandgaspedforabreath,thenworkedmywayupherpelviswithmytongue.

Shecuppedthebackofmyneck,urgingmetotravelupherbody.Mymouthstolesuckles

oneachnippleofherbreastsonmyjourneyupwardtoherbeautifulface.

Hermouthlungedformine,herorgasmicpleasfillingmymouth,hertongue

searchingmadlyformine.Shelickedhertastefrommytongue,moaningfromthe

exquisiteness.

“Seehowgoodyoutaste?”Imurmuredagainstherlipsonceshefinallyreleasedme

forabreath.

Coraonlygrunted,divingbackformorekisses.

Herleghitchedaroundmywaist,herhipseagerlyrubbingherclitagainsttheshaftof

mycock.Ihissedthroughmyteeth,everymuscleinmybodytensingtokeepfromlosing

myself.

Iranmynosealonghers.“Eager,arewe,Love?”

Herlashesflutteredandherhandstrickledupmyspine,sendinggoosebumpsalong

mybackandthroughmyarms.Ihadn’thadawoman’stouchhavesuchaneffectonmy

sensessinceIwasinmyearlytwenties,ifatall.

“WhatifIam?”Shewhispered,kissingthetipofmynose.

“Justwanttomakesureyou’rereadyisall,”Isaidsoftly,mywordshavingadeeper

meaning.

Shenodded,strokingthebackofmyneckdelicately.“Onlyforyou,Jake.”

Ismileddownather,adjustinguntilIwasatherentrance.Herlegsslackedaround

mywaistandherbreathingsteadied.Herchestwasrisingataslowerpace,matching

mine.Whenshegazedintomyeyes,Ilostmyownbreath.Shewassobeautiful,realand

aliveunderneathme,herhairfannedacrossthepillow.Thegreenofhereyesmeltedwith

mine,yetterrifiedmeatthesametime.

Theywerehauntedandfullofvulnerabilities,searchingforacceptance.Sheneededa

knightinshiningarmor,someonewhowouldkeephersafeandrespectherforthe

amazingwomanshewas.

“I’vebeenimaginingthisinmyheadforquitesometime,”Iconfessed,inching

forward,savoringthespecialmoment.

Shetookasharpinhaleandmybrowsfurrowed.“Isthisokay?”

Hereyesopenedandsheshookherhead.“No,justgoslowatfirst.Letmegetusedto

you.”

“Oh,Iplantotakemytimetonight,”Imurmuredacrossherlips.“I’vedreamedabout

thiseverynightforyears.”

Herpalmsflattenedonmylowerback,urgingmetofillhermorethantheloneinch

I’dgone.Shewassnug,suckingmeinbetweenherwalls.

SheheldherbreathwhileIcautiouslyfilledher.Myeyesrolledtothebackofmy

headwhenmyscrotumbrushedherbackside.Bothherarmsclungaroundme,squeezing

metoherchestandburyingherheadintothecrookofmyneck.

“AmIhurtingyou?”Igrunted,keepingmymovementsstill.

“No,”shesaidinahushagainstmyskin.“Justbecarefulwithme.”

Iliftedmyheadsoshecouldn’thide.Iknewshewasgettingatmorethanjustthis

momentintime.

Brushingafewstrandsfromherforehead,Iwhispered,“Always.”

Hereyessearched,bitingherlip.Shewastryingtocontainheremotions,whether

theywereformeorhowfuckedupherpastwas,Icouldn’ttell.I’dhopedlikehellitwas

becausewehadfinallyfoundeachotherthroughthefogofbetrayalsthathadcaused

destructioninourlives.

Myguttoldmeshewouldn’tdothat.

ShewasthelightIhadbeensearchingfortofindmeaninginmylife.

Movingmyhipsatanachinglyslowpace,Iwithdrew,thenpushedbackinsideofher.

Shewincedthefirstfewstrokes,butsoonherhipsweremeetingmine.Ourbreathing

increasedwitheachthrust.

Sherubbedherhandsupanddownmyback,hernailsbitingintomyskinwhenIhit

hersweetspot.Istilled,rotatingmyhipswhenIfoundit,stimulatingherwiththeverytip

ofmycock.Shewitheredunderneathme,herwallstighteningaroundmyshaftasI

circled.

Iwasheavingnow,myballsdrawingupinanticipationtoerupt.Iwantedtofillher

fordays,letmyseedseepintoher,butatthesametime,weneededtoberesponsible.

Herlipschanted,“Yes,yes,yes…”againstmine,andthehotheatofherfaint

whispersgrewintomoansofpleasure,causingmyownundoing.

Ipumpedfaster,givingintotheslickheatofhervibratinghole.Shemoaned

uncontrollablywhileherbodyspasmedunderneathme.Threemorethrusts,andI

reluctantlypulledoutintheknickoftime,spurtinghotlyonherstomach.Igruntedinto

thecrookofherneck,myarmswrappingunderneaththecurveofherbackwhileI

continuedtocomeonherskin.

OnceCoracalmedfromthefireworksthatdetonatedinsideofher,shewentlax

againstthemattress,mystillshakingforearmsprobablyuncomfortableagainstthecontour

ofherback.

Mybodyjoinedhersinexhaustion,concavingontopofher,thestickymessI’dleft

onhertummynowblendedwithmine.

Ipeeredather,worriedshe’dbeirritatedfromwhereI’dreleased,butonlyasated

smilewasspreadacrossherlips,hereyesclosedwithsatisfaction.

“I’llberightback,”Iwhispered.“Don’tmove.”

Shebarelynodded,herhandsfindingthesidesofthepillowwhenourbodiesbecame

untwined.

Ifoundthebathroom,wipingmystomachwithawashcloth.

Damn,you’dhavethoughtIhadn’tbeatenoffinyearsbyhowmuchsemenI

expelled.

Rinsingoutthewashcloth,IcreptbacktotheguestroomwhereCorastilllayinthe

sameposition.Shewasgrinning,hereyesclosed,andherhandwasdrawinglinesfrom

hernaveltoherpelvis.

Mycockthatshouldhavebeenspent,twitchedatthesight.Shewasrubbingmy

swimmersintoherskin.Istoodandwatchedherwithmyjawopen,mydickbecoming

half-mast.Shewasenjoyingmysploogeonher,thecompleteoppositeofhowIthought

she’dreact.

Takingadeepinhaletocalmmynaughtythoughts,Itiptoedtothebed,sittingdown

nexttoher.

Hereyelidsflutteredopenandherhandleftherskinandfoundherside.

“Sorryaboutthat,”Icoughed,gentlyrunningthewarmwashclothoverhertummy.

“I’vealreadylostmymannersanddidn’tuseacondom.”

Shesmirked,raisingherhandtoherlips.MyhandstilledandIwatchedintently,my

heartracingasshelickedherfingersthathadmysemenonthem.Ifmyshaftwasn’thard

fromwatchingherplaywithmyjizz,itwasasolidrocknow.

Shegiggledfrommyjawdroppingandstillingmymovements.“I’msorry,thatwas

probablyweird.”

“Youtastingmycome?Never.Infact,ifyoueverwantitstraightfromthetap,byall

means…”Ichuckled,continuingtorubthedampclothfromherstomachtohermound,

gentlymassagingherintimates.

Shesighedandclosedhereyes.“Thatfeelsreallynice,Jake,butIdon’tthinkIcan

handleanymoreorgasmsuntilIgetsomesleep.”

Myliptwitchedupwardintoasmile.“Goodthingsleepingisallowedinthishouse.

Infact,Idon’tevenhaveanalarmclockinthisroom,soyoureyescancloseforaslongas

they’dlike.”

Shegrinned,nuzzlingherheadintothepillow.

OnceIwasdoneremovingthestickinessfromherdelicateskin,Istoodfromthebed,

butherhandgrabbedmywrist.

“Jake,pleasedon’tgo,”shesaidwithayawn.

Myhearthammeredinmychest.“I’monlygoingtorinsethisandtossitinthe

hamper,maybegrabaglassofwater.Wouldyoulikeoneaswell?”

Shenodded,hereyesremainingclosed.“Thenyou’llhavetocomebacktome.”

“Neverplannedonleavingyou,Love.”

ChapterTwenty

MymusclesachedandIhadn’tmovedaninch.Thesoftsheetswerecurledaround

mynakedbody.AllofthedesireIhadburiedinsideforJakerosetothesurfaceatmock

speed,andonceIcouldwrapmyheadaroundit,Iwantedallofhim,anddidn’tfreakout

intheprocesslikeIhadfeared.

MylegsburneddeliciouslywhenIrolledtomyotherside,recallinghowtheywere

lockedaroundJake’sneck.

Adarkmopofhairwasrestingonapillowacrossfromme,connectedtoastrong

neckanddefinedback.Itookinadeepbreath,acontentsmilesettlingonmyface.This

wastheJakeIwasfamiliarwith.Iwantedtoreachoutandtouchhim,strokehisspineand

thefaintscratchmarksIleftonhisskinlastnight.Ashudderranthroughme,relivinghow

heblewmymind.Sexhadneverbeenthatgoodforme.Jakereallytookhistime,

worshippingandbeingattentivetowhatgotmegoing.Heseemedtogetpleasurefrom

givingmeorgasms,notjustatedioustitfortatwithsexualfavors.

Hisbackhadasteadyriseandfallfromhissleepybreaths.Helookedsopeaceful,

eventhoughhisfacewasn’tvisible.Ikeptmyhandstomychest,snugglingintothe

blanket.

Adipformedonthebaseofthebedbetweenus,softstepscreepingcloser.Itwas

Shepley,rubbingagainstmyhipwithhisslowascenttowardmyface.

“Morning,”Iwhispered,scratchinghisears.Aloudpurremergedfromhischest,and

helaiddownsmackdabbetweenJakeandme.Ismiledatthecat,continuingtopethim.

AsharpinhalesoundedfromJake,andherubbedhisfacewhilerollingovertoward

thecatandme.Hewasbeautifulinhisgroggystate,hiseyeshalfliddedandhairmussed

andsexy.Hispecswereshowing,thechesthairIfeltlastnightinfullview.Hewasmanly,

onewhohikedandclimbed,bikedandliftedweights.Iwasusedtoalankyfiguredman

wholivedoffofcoffeeandenergyshots.Jakewassexyashell,andIwantedtopethim

insteadofthecat.

“Morning,”hemumbledthroughhishand,thensetitonShepley’shindjustbelow

whereIwasstroking.

“Morning,”Iwhispered,waitingforhiseyestomeetmine.Theyclosedagainwhile

heburrowedhisheadbackintothepillowtomakehimselfcomfortable.

“Oh,yeah,youtoo.”

Iflushed,realizinghewastalkingtothecat.

Onemischievousbrowneyepeeredmywayandhesmirked.Hewasjokingwithme,

andmyheartthumpedinmychest.

“Didyousleepwell?”Heasked,bothhiseyesopeningandgazingatme.

Inodded.“BestI’vesleptinaverylongtime.”

HishandmovedupShepley’sbacktocovermine.Shepleyletoutanirritatedgroan.

“Whatareyougrumblingabout?”Jakeaskedthecat,lacinghisfingerswithmine.

“Thisisthemostattentionyou’vegotteninalongtime.”

Thecatpinnedoneearbackasifhewereignoringhim,thenjumpedovertopofme

andpouncedtothedresser.

Jakeshookhishead.“Norespect.”

Igrinned.“He’sacat.”

Hislipquirkedupward.“True.”Hishandflexedagainstmine,rubbingthenailonmy

thumbwiththepadofhisfinger.“So,thebestyou’vesleptinalongtime,yeah?”

Inodded,halfofmyfacehidingintheplushpillow.

“Good.Meansyou’llhaveawonderfulday.Whatwouldyouliketodo?”

Myeyelidsfluttered,awarmthspreadingacrossmycheeks.Buildingcourage,I

uncoveredmyselffromthesheetandfoundmyknees.

Mybreastswereinfullview,andJakewasn’tmakinganyefforttopeelhiseyesaway

fromthem.Ilikedthathewasinfatuatedwithmybody.Forsolong,Ididn’tthinkitwas

uptopar,comparingmyselftothefakeboobplatinumblondesinthepornvideosMartin

insistedwewatch.Jakelookedatmewithhungerandappreciation.

Slyly,Ipulledthesheetthatwascoveringhishipsdownandguidedhimtolayonhis

back.Hiscockwasthickagainsthisstomach.IttwitchedwhenIgazedatit.Ilickedmy

lips,thenmethiseyes.Hisplayfulsmilewasgone,waitinginanticipationforwhatIwas

goingtodo.

Iwantedtoreturnthefavorfromlastnight.Hehadgivenmetwoorgasmswithhis

mouth,enjoyingeverysecondofitjustasmuchasIdid.Hedeservedtofeelpleasure,but

Iwasn’tverygoodatthispart.Icouldneverrelaxenough,andwouldgagwaybeforeI

wassupposedto.MartingotangrywhenIcouldn’tdelivertohisstandards.He’dshove

myheaddown,andmadethesituationextremelyuncomfortable.

Jakefoundmycheekwithhishand.“Youdon’thavetodoanythingyoudon’twant,”

hiswordswereasgentleashisstroke.

Iclosedmyeyesandlickedmylips.“Iwantto,Ijustdon’twanttodisappointyou.”

Jakechuckledunderhisbreath.“That’snotpossible.Ifwe’reonthesamepage,

there’sonlyonewayitwouldbeuncomfortable.”

Myeyespoppedopen.“Whatpageareyouon?”

Hesuckedinhisbottomlipandmotionedtohisdickwithhishand.“Bythewayyour

eyesaregluedtomydonger,Iassumeyou’recontemplatinggivingitago.”

Ismiledathisslangwords.“Ago?”Myhandslylyincheduphisthigh,runningtwo

fingersuptheshaft.Mytouchwasminiscule,buthissteel-hardcockpulsed,eagerfor

morecontact.“Thatcouldbeleftuptointerpretation.”

Hecameuponhiselbowsandwatchedmyhand.“Christ,woman.”

Ismiledintriumph,butwasstillunsure.“I’mnotverygoodatit.”

“I’llbethejudgeofthat,”hesaidwhileclearinghisthroat.

Takingadeepbreath,Icurledmyfingersaroundhisgirth.Hewassmoothandsoft,

yetashardasarockinmyhand.MycoreclenchedwhileIstrokedhimfromroottotip,

thenbackdownagain.Thewell-trimmedpubichairtickledmypinkywhenIhitthebase.

Hehissedthroughhisteeth,andmoistureofpre-comebeadedthetipofhiscock.

Semenwasn’tsomethingthatturnedmeon,especiallywhenIwaswithMartin.I

neverunderstoodmypeers’novelsandhowtheydescribedtheman’sseedbeingerotic

andenticing,luringthewomantocravethetaste.ButwithJake,Iwasbeginningto

understand.

Havinghisfluidmeshintotheskinofmystomachwashot.Itwasasifhewere

blendedwithmenow,aperfectpieceofhimformetoburnintomyskinandkeepwith

meforever.

Lickingmylips,Ibentdown,keepingmyhandonhiscockandplantingmytongue

ontheendofhismanhood,indulginginthesmalldrop.Itwassaltyyetsweet,aslight

thicknesstoit,andIwascuriousformore.

Wrappingmylipsaroundthetip,Igentlysucked,gettingafeelforhissize.Martin

hadnothingonJakewhenitcametothelengthandgirth.Infact,Jakewasrightupthere

withthepornstarsIhadetchedintomybrainfromthevideo’sMartininsistedwewatch.

“Thatfeelsamazing,”hesighed,restinghisheadbackintothepillow.Hishandfound

mylowerback,gentlymassagingupanddownmyspine.Ithelpedcalmme,andIwas

abletosuckfurther,bringinghimdeeperintomymouth.Hepalmedthecurveofmyspine

andgroaned.

Washereallyenjoythis?Iwasbeingtimid,butmaybethat’swhatheliked?ThatI

wasgoingslowandexploring,afraidI’dnickhimwithmyteethormovemytonguethe

wrongway.

Myhandcontinuedrubbinghim,thrustingupandtappingagainstmychin,thenback

downtohisscrotum.Ibravelysuckeddeeperwithmymouth,themotionofmyhand

becominglessfromthedepthIcouldtakeinwithmymouth.

“Playwithmyknackers,”hegrunted.Iscowled,hiswhat?

“Huh?”Ihummed,thevibrationofmyvoicesurroundinghisdick.

“Jesus,mytesticles,”hehissed,trailinghishandtomyass,grabbingahandfulof

skin.

Takingmyhandfromhisshaft,Iroamedlower,gentlymassagingthesackofskin

thatheldtwobiglumps.

“Yeah,justlikethat,”hemoaned,movinghishandacrossmyassandsqueezingthe

othercheek.

Iswallowedwithhiscockinmymouth,makingroomformoreofhimdownmy

throat.Thethoughtofmylipspressingagainsthispelvicbonewhilehisentirecockwas

downmythroatmademeinsanewithlust.Iwasupforthechallengeoftakinghim

completelyinmymouth.IthelpedthatJakeremainedperfectlystill,notthrustingupward

andintomymouth.HeletmetakemytimeandbecomecomfortablewithwhatIcould

handle.

Icontinuedfondlinghisscrotum,moaningwhileItookhimfurtherintomymouth.

Mythroatwasshockinglyrelaxed,eagertomeetmynewgoaloftakinghim.

Jake’shandclenchedmyskin,thensliveredalongmycracktofindmycore,palming

itfrombehind.Igroanedaroundhisshaft,inchingdeeperagain.Hisfingerswereslick

againstmylabia,slippingbetweenthewetfoldsandteasingmyentrance.

Iarchedmybackandpushedintohisfinger,crazedforhimtofillme.Hisfinger

inchedinsidetohisfirstknuckle,andIwasgrantedwithanotherhitofhisdeliciouspre-

come.

“Sotight,”hegrunted,sinkinghisfingercompletelyinside.“Andsowet.Youlike

suckingmeoff,don’tyou?”

Thedeeptimbreofhisvoicewassosexy,Iwaswillingtotrytakinghimallinmy

mouth.ThemusclesinmythroatrelaxedandIwentforit,nuzzlinghispubichairwithmy

noseandfindingitagainstmylips.

“Holyfuck,”hemoanedwhileIsuckedhimdown,keepingtheposition.Themuscles

inhisthighsbulged,hisballsdrawingupandrubbingagainstmychin.Onefingerwasno

longerstrokinginsideofme,buttwo,crammedsodeepandpressingonmyg-spot.

Igroanedwhileherubbed,andalltoosoon,hewithdrewhishandandfoundmy

scalp,pullingmeoffofhim.Ikeptmymouthopen,fightinghisstrength.Mytongue

dartedout,lickingtheheadofhispenis.

“Givemeaminute,”hecroaked.“Comehere.”Grabbingmyarms,hepulledmeon

topofhim,threadinghishandsthroughmyhairandkissingmefiercely.Ourtongues

dancedwhileheheldmyheadinplace.Iwiggledontopofhim,findinghissteelshaftand

rubbingmyclitagainstitwhilehedevouredmymouth.

Hepulledonmyhairtostopmefromkissinghim,thenmassageddowntomyhips,

holdingthemstill.“I’mgoingtoblowmybitsifyoudon’tslowdown.”

Igrinned,ourlipsbrushingwhileIspoke.“Iwantedyoutoblowinmymouth.”

Hewrappedhisarmstightlyaroundmyback,holdingmestillsoIcouldn’tmove.

“Youaregoingtobethedeathofme.Andyouthoughtyouwerebadatthis?”Hesaidin

bewilderment.“Accordingtomyex-husband,”Isaidwithashrug.

“Yourex-husbandisarealno-hoper.”

Ifurrowedmybrows,andheshookhisheadwithasmile,kissingmynose.“He’sa

dumbass.”

Looseninghisgrip,hesatup,pullingmewithhim.Iwasstillstraddlinghim,sitting

ontopofhisthickshaft.Hethrusthiships,fillingmeinoneswiftmotion.Igasped,

clingingtohisneck.Hewassobigthatthemotiontookmybreathaway.

Hiseyesrolledtothebackofhishead,causinghisskulltothudagainstthe

headboard.“Therewego,”hegroaned,holdingmyhipsdownward.“ThisiswhyI

stoppedfromfillingyourmouth.Iwantedthis.”

Hishandfoundmyjaw,pullingmymouthtohisandkissingmewildly.Hewas

surroundingme,claspingmybodytohisfront,hiscock,shovedcompletelyinsideofmy

tighthole.Isquirmed,rockingagainsthim.Everynerveinmybodywasachingto

explode,andIwasvery,veryclose.

Hisgriploosenedaroundmyhips.“Ridemehowyoulikeit,”hewhispered,watching

mebegintoquiver.

Ilifteduponmyknees,thenslammedbackdown.Findingmyrhythm,Ibeganto

movefaster,findingmygroove,notworryingabouthowmybreastsbouncedorhowmy

scrunchedfaceappearedtoJake.Iwaschasingmyimpendingorgasm,andIwasonthe

vergeofbursting.

Jakestrokedmytremblingarmswithadelicatetouch.Nodoubthewaswatchingme

unravel,andIcouldn’tcareless.

“Sobeautiful,”hewhispered,tracinghisfingersdownmyspine.

Mybodyquaked,mycorethrobbingintoafulloutexplosion,pulsingwildly.I

moanedoutloud,clenchinghisscalpandhugginghimtomychest.Henuzzledbetween

mybreastswhileItrembledthroughthemostintenseorgasmIhadeverhad.Wewereso

close,meldedtogetherintimately.I’dexposedmyinsecuritiesaboutsex,andmanagedto

conquerthemlikeachamp.

Myheadfoundthecrookofhisneckasmybodycalmed,hiscockwasstillhardasa

rockinsideofme.Hestrokedmyhair,kissingmyshoulderwhilemybreathingreturned.

“You’rearealsightwhenyoucome,”hewhispered.

Igiggledintohisneck.“Youwatched,huh?”

“Couldn’ttakemyeyesaway.”

Iclenchedmywallsaroundhim,andagrowlrumbleduphischest.“I’mnotfinished

withyouyet.”

Takingmyheadfromhisneck,Icarefullydetachedfromhim,creepingdownhis

thighsuntilmymouthwasbacktohismember.HeliftedabrowwhenIgrabbedholdofit

withonehand.“I’mnotfinishedwithyou,either.”

“Youdon’thaveto-”hesuckedinairwhenIclampedmylipsaroundhim,sucking

withnoreservations.Igagged,butwasn’tuncomfortable.Iwantedhim,andthehunger

thatwastherewasresurfacing.Ineededtomakehimcomeinmymouth.Iwantedthe

saltygoodnesstocoatmythroat.Ididn’tcarethathetastedlikemyjuices,itwasallthe

morehot,knowinghehadjustgivenmeadeliciousorgasmofmyown.

“Cora,”hebreathed,reachingtocupmyface,butsettledforgraspingthesheetson

eithersideofhim.“Ifyoudon’twantmetocomeinyourmouth,youshouldstop.”

Igroanedwhenhetouchedthebackofmythroat,suckinghimlikealollipop.Iwas

goingtoslurpeverylastdrophehadtogiveme.

Hiseyesnarrowedwhilehewatched,meetingmine.Itwaserotic,andIlovedseeing

hisreactiontohowdeepItookhiminmymouth.

Hishipsstayedstill,untilhiseyesrolledback,hishandgraspingmyhair.Hismassive

shaftpulsedinmymouth,thenspurtinghiswarm,milkyjuice.Isuckeditdown,gulping

witheachspurthegrantedmewith.Itwasoverflowingoutofmymouthanddripping

downhiscock.

Hepulledmefromhim,hiscreamcoveringmylipsanddribblingdownmychin.His

chestheavedashewatchedmelickmylipsandmoanindelight,pluckingmychinwith

mythumbtogettheglobmymouthcouldn’thandle.JakegrabbedmywristbeforeIcould

putitinmymouth,takingmythumbandrubbingitagainsthisowntongue.

MyeyesbuggedoutwhenIsawthecreamygoodnessonhistongueasheheldhis

mouthopen.Henoddedformetocomecloser,cuppingthebackofmyneckandbringing

metohismouth.Ilickedinside,rubbinghisjuiceagainstmytongue.Itwassexyashell,

andIwasdrippingfromhoweroticitwastotastehiminanothernewway.

“ThatwasthebestblowjobI’veeverhad,”hebreathed,kissingmechastely.

Ismirked,feelingproudthatIhadsurpassedhisstandards.

Hestrokedmycheekswithbothhands.“IfeellikeIneedanothernap,”heyawned.

Isnickered,rubbingmyhandsalonghispecs.“Ihaveabetteridea.”

Heraisedabrow.“Imightneedsometimeafterthat.”

Ilaughed,hoppingoffofhislapandopeningadrawerinsearchforclothes.“Youcan

nap,I’mgoingtowrite.”

“Yeah?Youdothat.I’dsayyou’vegotsomenewmaterial.”

Igiggledandshookmyhead.Ididhavesomenewideas,andifIdidn’tgetthemout

ofmyjumbledbrain,I’dlosethem.Ihadn’tfeltsomotivatedtowriteinmonths.Maybe

evenyears.

Grabbingmyclothes,Ilookedovermyshoulder,lovingthathewasstillwatching

me.“I’mgoingtojumpintheshower,thensetupmylaptop.”

Hefluffedhispillowandgotcozyinthebed,closinghiseyes,aflowblownsmile

spreadacrosshisface.Igrinned,knowingIwasthereasonforit.

ChapterTwenty-One

Coradidn’tleavehercomputerallday,theskyfadingfromthemorningkissofthe

suntothedarkofnight.She’donlygottenupfortheoccasionalbathroombreakand

grabbingasweatshirtatsunset.Ionlyinterruptedherformeals,bringingherfoodand

stealingakisstothecheekorforeheadwhileIdidit.

Itwasn’teasyfocusingonmyownmanuscriptwhenshewasinviewfromthesliding

doorthatleadtotheporch.Shehadturneditintoaportableoffice,ploppingdownonthe

loveseatandtypingawaysodiligentlyonherlaptop.Sheacknowledgedmeandwas

thankfulforthemealsI’dbroughttoher,buthereyesalwayswanderedbacktothescreen.

AsbadlyasIwantedtotouchheranddraghertomybedroom,Irestrainedmyself.Itwas

heroriginalintentiontocomeouthereandgetherwritingflowback,andshe’dgottenit.I

couldn’twaittohearhowmanywordsshehadspilledfromherbrainandintothe

document.

Sheglancedatmeeversooftenoverhershoulder,givingmeasweetsmilewhenI

wascaughtoglingher.Icouldn’thelpit,shewassodamnadorableinheryogapantsand

tanktop.She’dfusswithherhairassherereadherwork,tossingithighonherheadina

bun,thenrippingtheponytailoutandlettingitfanacrosshershoulders.Thealmondcolor

waslighterinpersonthaninherphotos.Irubbedmyfingerstogether,recallinghowsoftit

wastothetouch.

Mycockwasn’tlettingmefocusonmymanuscripteither.Hewaspointinginher

directionlikeacompass,readytopounceandattack.Ihadbarelywrittenathousand

wordsallday.Whocouldblamemewhenanangelwassittingonmydeck?

Shepleyhoppeduponmydesk,meowinginmyearandpawingatmyhandonthe

keyboard.

“Yeah,Iknow,it’streattime,”Imumbledtothecat,runningmyhandalonghisears.

Heletoutoneofthoselowandannoyedmeowswithoutopeninghismouth.Taking

anotherglanceatCora,shewascrunchedintoaball,browsfurrowedandbitingher

bottomlip,huggingherkneeswhileshestaredatthescreen.Igrinnedtomyself.Shewas

sofuckingcutewhenshewasfocused.

“Comeon,Shepley,”Ilefttheroomandheadedforthekitchen,thecathotonmy

heels.I’msurehewaspissedbecauseI’dmissedlastnight’streattime.

Openingthefridgeandgrabbingthealreadyopenedcan,Islappedsomeonaplate

andthrewitinthemicrowave.Shepleywasrubbingagainstmylegslikecrazy.“Calm

down,youwon’ttouchitunlessit’swarm,”Iscolded.

Myphonerangwhilethemicrowavespun.ItwasBen.Iglancedoutthewindow,

noticingCorawasstillenthralledonherlaptopbeforeanswering.

“Hey,whatdoyougotforme?”

“Whyhellotoyoutoo,Casanova.”

Irolledmyeyes.Ihatedwhenhecalledmethat.“G’day,now,tellmewhatyousaw.”

“Damn.Icanseeyourpatiencehasn’timproved.Butyou’llbehappytoknow,Martin

Kartmanisstillintown.Although,hisbooksdidsayhewasleavingforbusinessnext

week.”

Ismirked,knowinghemostlikelyflirtedwithMartin’ssecretarytogetthat

information.“Anyideawhere?”

“No,butImightfindoutlatertonight.”Icouldsensethesmirkinhisvoice.Andhe

thoughtIwastheCasanova.Benwasalwaysonthepullforsheilas.

“I’mgladyou’redoingwhateveryoucanforme,”Ideadpanned.

“Hey,whenmybestfriendneedssomething,Igoballstothewall.”

Ismirked,pullingoutShepley’sfoodfromthemicrowaveandsettingitonthe

ground.“Morelikegoingballsdeep.”

“Whateverworks.”Webothlaughed.

“Onaseriousnotethough,hewasagitated.Askedmeifmycalendarwasopen.Said

hemightneedmyservices.”

Mybrowsnarrowed.“Didhesayanythingelse?”

“No,notyet.Toldhimtocallme,though.I’llkeepyouposted.”

Iclenchedmyjaw.AtleastIknewhewasstillinChicago.“Soundsgood,mate.

Later.”

Hangingupthephone,Ilookedoutthewindow,noticingCorahadswitched

positions.Shemusthavebeenlyingonthecouch,becauseIcouldonlyseethetipofher

laptopandherponytailonthearmrest.LeavingShepleytohisfood,Igrabbedablanket

fromthebackofthecouchandwentoutthesliderdoor.

Thestarswereshiningbrighttonight,notacloudinthesky.Ituggedonherbun

gently,thenfeltbadwhenIsawherface.Hereyeswereclosed,handsstillonthe

keyboard.Shewasmid-sentenceandfellasleep.

Mygrinspreadwideatherpeacefulstate.Carefullytakingthelaptopfromher

stomach,Isetitonthetableunderneaththeawning,thenbegancoveringherwiththe

blanket.Itwasn’tterriblychilly,butbyhowshehuggedherselfandcurledtoherside

mademethinkotherwise.Iwishedlikehelltherewasroomforbothofusonthecouchso

Icouldsnuggleinbesideher,butinstead,Iwenttomykneesandtuggedtheblankettoher

shoulders.Shesighed,acontentsmileonherface.

“Areyoufeelingneglected?”Shewhispered,hereyesremainingclosed.

Myhandranalongherhipovertoptheblanket.“Maybeatouch.”

Hereyelidsflutteredopen.Theyweresoftandatease,nothinglikethewaveringstare

ofuncertaintytheyheldwhenIpickedherupfromtheairport.“I’llpayattentiontoyou

moretomorrow.”

Ismirked.“I’vebeenalonelyblokeforawhile,afewmoredayswon’tkillme.”

Sheuntangledherarmsfromundertheblanketandwrappedthemaroundmyneck.

“Itmightkillme.”Hervoicewassultry,pullingmeunderherspell.

Mylipsfoundhers,grantingthemachastekiss.Myhattippedupasshedeepenedit,

runningahandunderneathituntilitfelltothefloor.“Whyareyoualwayswearingahat?”

Sheaskedbetweenkisses.

“I’mtoolazytodomyhair.”

Shelaughedagainstmylips,rotatingtoherbackandpullingmeontopofher,

kickingtheblanketdownsoonlyourclothingwouldbebetweenus.

“Howmanywordsdidyougetin?”Iasked,wedgingmyselfbetweenherlegsand

findingaplaceformyforearmsoneithersideofhershoulders.

Shetrailedherhandsupanddownmyspine.Itfeltabsolutelyamazing.Ihadcraved

hertouchlikeastarvedmanallday.

“Ibrokemyrecordforwordswritteninaday,”shesmiled.

Iraisedabrow.“Wow.Thatmany?”

Shenoddedandbitherlip.“SeemsIjustneedtherightdistractiontogetmybrain

goingagain.”

Myhearthammered.WasthatallIwas?Adistraction?Pushingasidetheblow,I

threwonasmile.“Happytohelp.”

Shetookinadeepbreath,searchingmyface.“Whatdidyoudoallday?”

“Oh,youknow,shottheshitwithShepley,slavedinthekitchen,didsomemarketing,

wrotesomewords.”

“JustatypicaldayinthelifeofJakeCooper?”Shegrinned.

Iforcedmysmileagain,ignoringthepitforminginmystomach.Ineededtostart

openinguptoherandstophidingbehindmysarcasm,otherwiseshe’dcatchontowhoI

reallywas,andthefantasyI’dbeenlivinginwithherwouldcometoanuglyhead.

“Missingafewaspects.Didn’tgetachancetohitthetrails.”

“I’vegotatrailforyou.”Herhandstuggedonthebackofmyshirt,findingthe

warmthofmyskin.Isuckedinabreathfromhowcoldtheywere.

“Sorry.”Shepulledmyshirtbackdown.

Ilaughed.“No,please,warmthemonme,andI’dlovetotakearideonyourtrail.”

Lettingsomeofmyweightrelaxonherhips,myquicklyhardeningcockpressed

againstherpelvis.Sheletoutasoftmoan,hereyesflutteringclosed.

Ikissedherneck.“HowaboutIexploreyourtrail,andyoutellmeaboutallthose

sexywordsyou’vewritten.”

Shehummedasmytonguetraveleddownherneck,myhandfindingthezipperofher

hoodieandundoingit.

“Idon’tliketowriteandtelluntilI’vehaditcritiqued.”

Inippedwhereherneckmethershoulder.“WhothehelldoyouthinkIam?”

Shegiggled,massagingmyscalpwhileIgentlykissedthetenderspotI’djustbitten.

“It’saboutanAussiewithabigego,”shegrinned.

Hersweaterwasopenednow,myhandcuppingherbreast.Alowgrowlemerged

frommythroatwhenIrealizedshewasn’twearingabra.

Itweakedhernippleovertopthefabric.“Nosuchthing.”

Shebitherlipandclosedhereyesfrommytouch.“Thereisinmybook.He’scocky

andarrogant,thinkshe’stheshit.”

Mymouthwrappedaroundtheperkybud,wettingitovertopthecotton.Shearched

herback,shovingherbreastintomyface.“But,hesavesthemaincharacter.”

Ireleasedhernipple,movingtotheotherside.“How’sthat?Withhischarmandgood

looks?”

Shegrabbedaholdofmyhair,forcingmyeyestomeethers.Theyweremoist,atear

threateningtofallfromthem.Myheartdamnnearpoundedoutofmychest.Shewasso

vulnerableandbeautifulwhenshelookedatmewithsuchinnocenceandsincerity.“He

healsherwithhispatienceandhisbigheart.”

Icameuponmyelbows,runningahandalongthesideofhertemple.

Sheswallowed.“He’sprotectiveandunderstanding.Heknowsshe’sahotmessand

hasallkindsofbaggage,buthedoesn’tcare,andcreatesthisperfectbubbleforthetwoof

themtohavesanctuaryin.Eventhoughthey’veonlyspentasmallamountofphysical

timetogether,she…”hervoicetrailed,hereyesroamingtomylips.

Iplantedadelicatekissonhermouth,thenfinishedhersentenceforher.“Shefallsin

lovewithhim?”

Shesuckedinabreathandnodded,thenattackedme,takingturnssuckingoneachlip

andswipinghertonguewithmine.Ourbodiesweredoingthetalkingnow.Herleghiked

aroundmyhip,allowingmypelvistomeshwithhers.Myshaftthrobbedasitsettled

againsttheheatofhercore,cursingourclothing.Shebegantogrindherhipsintome.It

wasn’tanurgentmotion,butaslowandenjoyablepush.Wehadallofthetimeinthe

world,atleastaccordingtomyagenda.Simplymoldingourbodiestogetherandmaking

outwassatisfying.Ididn’ttugforherclothingtocomeoff,onlymeshedwithher,loving

thelittlehumsthatescapedherlipswhenItrailedkissesalongherneckandjaw,then

backtohermouth.Itwaslikeweweretwoteenagerswhoknewtheirparentswereinside

andcouldpossiblywalkoutonthedecktotellusourtimetogetherwasover.

Coraheldmyheadinplace.“Jake?”

Iopenedmyeyestomeethers.

Shelickedherlipsandcoylyslippedherhanddownthefrontofmypants.“Canwe

findabed?”

Isprungtomyfeet,holdingmyhandouttoher.“Certainly.Yourbackisprobably

numbfrommyheavyasshumpingyouforthepasthour.”

Shegiggledandtookmyhand,thenwrappedherarmsaroundmywaist.“Ilikeyour

asshumpingme.It’sthecatwholikestowatchthat’sabitodd.”

ShenoddedtowardShepley,whowassittingontherailing.Igavehimanod.“Only

showyou’regettingtonightisfromthestars.Sorry,buddy.”

Unwrappingherarmsfrommywaist,Iguidedheracrosstheporchandupahalf

flightofstepstowheretheslidertomybedroomwas.“We’restayinginmyroom

tonight.”

Corasqueezedmyhand.“Ifeelsohonored.”

Openingthedoor,Ileadherinside,thenshutitandlockedit,doublecheckingit

couldn’tbeopened.Shepleywouldspendtheeveningontheporch,atleastuntilCorafell

asleep.WhenIlookedupfromthedoor,Corawastakinginhersurroundings.

Therewasn’tanythingmagnificentaboutmyroom.Onlyakingsizebedandafew

dressers.IdidhaveatelethatwasprobablybiggerthanIneededformybedroom,but

whynot?

“I’mwritinginheretomorrow,”Corasaid,runningherhandalongtheedgeofthe

comforter.“IfIeverdecidetogetoutofbed.”

Icrossedmyarmsandsmiled.Itwasaninvitingsetoflinens.“Waituntilyoucozyup

inthesheets.You’llkickmetotheguestroom.”

Shecametome,herheadtilteddownward.“Iwasonlykidding,youcanhaveyour

room.”

Wassheupset?Takingherchininmyhand,Iforcedhertomeetmygaze.“Iwantyou

inmybed.I’vefantasizedaboutitforalongtime.”

Sheswallowedwhilemythumbstrokedhercheek.“Whyareyoutellingmethis

now?”

“BecauseIdidn’tthinkyouwereinteresteduntilrecently.”

Herbrowsfurrowed.“Iguessthat’sfair.”

Igrabbedbothofhershoulders.“Youweremarried.Ididn’twanttobeanoutsider

tryingtopullyouandyourhusbandapart,eventhoughIthoughthewasagigantic

scumbagandthathedidn’tdeserveyou.”

Corasmiled,hereyesbecomingwet.Ifrowned.Ididn’tmeantomakeherupset.

“What’swrong?”

Sheshruggedoffmyhandsandsatontheedgeofthebed.Ifollowedher,takinga

seataswell.“Cora?”

Herhandsfoundherlap.“Ijustwonder,ifIwouldhavetakenoffmyblinders,that

maybewewouldhavefoundeachothersooner?ThatIcouldhaveavoidedsome…

things…withMartinifIwouldn’thaveignoredwhatmyheartwastellingme.”

Iheldmybreath,eagertofindoutwhereshewasgoingwiththis.Didshesecretly

feelthesameasmeforalloftheseyears?“Whatwasyourhearttellingyou?”

Finallytakinghergazefromherfidgetinghands,shemetmyanxiouseyes.Atearfell

downhercheek.“ThatIhadhappinessalready,butbecauseI’manidiot,Ithoughtthe

happinesswasfromMartin,butitwasn’t,itwasfromyou.”

Isuckedinabreath,thendoveforherface,kissingherfiercely,holdingherheadwith

bothhands.Shehadwantedmeasmorethanafriend,andIshouldhavepushedand

openeduptohersooner.Shecouldhavebeeninmyarmsformanyofmylonelynights,

curingthedarknessthatlivedinside,andIcouldhavesavedherfromyearsofpainand

abusebyherex-husband.

Iyankedonherclothes,tossingthemtothefloor.Sheclawedatmine,nearlyripping

myshirtinhalfuntilIhelpedpullitovermyhead.Shovingmyshortsdownmylegsand

tothefloor,CoratuggedonmyunderwearuntilIkickedthemoff.Wewerebothbare

now,andIsnuckmyarmaroundherwaist,liftingherupthebedandunderneathme.We

werefleshonflesh,theheatofourskinburningsensationsinsideofme,Ididn’teven

knowwerethere.

Shecuppedthebackofmyneckwithbothhands.“Jake,makelovetome.Kissme

likeyoudoinyourfantasies,holdmehowyoudidinyourdreamswhenwewerehalfa

worldapart.Consumeme,”shebreathedagainstmylips.“Makemeyours,evenifit’sjust

fornow.”

Iinhaledsharply,slippingmyotherarmunderneathhershoulderblades,latchingour

bodiestogether.Thetipofmyshaftwaspinnedagainstheropening,andtheslightest

movementofmyhipswouldhaveuscompletelyjoined.“You’remine,”Imurmured

againstherlips,thrustinginsideofher.

Shetookasharpbreath.Iwasinsidehertothemax,nomoreboundariesorwalls

betweenus.Iwasdoingassheasked,andwhatI’ddoneinmyheadforsolong.I’d

consumedher,andbegankissingherwithallofthedesireIhadbuiltupinsideforher.I

wasn’tholdingbacknow,andbythetearsthatwettedhercheeks,Iknewshewasletting

meintoherheart,andallofmyhopesanddreamswereconqueringmyfears,over

poweringthedarknessandchippingintothelight.

“I’myours,”shewhisperedthroughhertears,holdingmetightlywhileIslowly

strokedinsideofher.“I’llalwaysbeyours.”

Ikissedawayhertears,pressingmycheekagainstherswhileImadeslowandsteady

lovetoher.Hercriesweren’tonesofsadness,butofreliefandhappiness.SheknewI’d

alwaystakecareofherandthatshewouldalwaysbesafeinmyarms.

ChapterTwenty-Two

Jakewasspentonhisback,hischinrestingagainstmyforeheadwhileIwascuddled

intohisside.Iwatchedthesteadyriseandfallofhischest,nearlyjoininghiminhissated

slumber.Fromthesimplekissingontheporchtotheintensityofourintimacy,Jake

showedmeanewsidetohim.Hewasalwayskindandgentle,butthesarcasmand

playfulnessweregone,andIknewwhenhewaskissingme,itwasreal,andnotjust

wantingthewarmthofawoman.

Hetookinmybaggage,andwaswillingtomakeithisown.

Jakemadelovetome,andIwasheadoverheelsinlovewithhim.

Mylifehadswungacompleteoneeightyinthematterofdays.Iwaswriting,Iwas

happy,andIfeltsafe.

TheonlyissueIhad,wasneedingtostealthilygetupfromthebedtousethe

restroom.

AsbadasIdidn’twanttountanglemyselffromhim,Ireallyhadtopee.Ascarefully

asIcould,Islippedfromhissideandtiptoedtotheattachedbathroom.

Forbeingaman,hisownprivatebathroomwasspotless,includingawhirlpooltub.I

squealedinside,eagertotakeabubblebathafterIkickedoutafewthousandwords

tomorrowonmymanuscript.Sandrawouldgetmorethanwhatsheaskedforbythe

outlandishdeadlineshedemanded.Atthisrate,she’dgetanentirebook,andIwasgeeked

tohaveanewrelease.

Takingaseatontheporcelainthrone,Irelievedmyself,wipingawaythestickiness

fromJake.Atremorranthroughmyarms,knowingIlethimclaimmecompletely.

Knowinghefilledmewithhisseedwassexy.

Afterwashingmyhandsandcleaningmyselfup,Icouldn’thelpbutnoticehiscloset.

Peekingbackintothebedroom,Jakehadn’tmoved,andIwascurioustoseewhatheheld

inthewalk-incloset.Hedressedsosimply,Icouldn’timaginehimneedingsomuch

space.Maybethere’dberoomforsomeofmythings?

Warmthcreptthroughme.Icouldseemyselflivingherewithhim,sharinghisspace

asifwewereamarriedcouple.Thethoughtwasthrilling,andIonlyhopedpartofhim

hadalreadyimagineditbecomingthesameidea.

Switchingonthelight,Ismiledathowneatthebigspacewas.Hisclothingwashung

onhangers,evenhist-shirts,colorcoordinated,andhispantsandshortshangingonabar

belowinthesamefashion.Heevenhadseparateshelvingwithshoes.IsmiledwhenIsaw

theblackpairofdressloafers,thenonanotherwallasmallsectionwithafewsuitsand

eventies.Afantasyofhimdressedtoimpressshotrightbetweenmylegs.

Iskimmedfurther,curiosityformingwhenIsawapairofmilitarygradebootstucked

inthecorner.Icockedmyhead,walkingtowardtheshinysteeltoe.Mygazewenthigher,

noticingthetancamouflagesuitthatwasneatlypressedaboveit.Iranmyhandalongthe

nametagonthechestpocket.Stanton.Mybrowsfurrowed.I’dneverheardofthename

before,andanuneasinesssettledinmychest.Whywouldhehaveamilitaryuniformin

hiscloset?Onewithadifferentnameonit?Diditbelongtoafriendofhis?Maybehis

father?ButhislastnamewasCooper,notStanton.

IcrepttotheonewallIhadn’texploredyet,findingitoddthatcupboardscovered

theminsteadshelveswithneatlyfoldedandhungclothingliketheotherside.Eachhada

padlock.

Glancingbacktowardthebathroom,Icouldseeintothedoorwayofthebedroom,

Jake’sfeetinviewhangingovertheedgeofthebed.Ishouldhavegonebacktohim,

disregardeditandaskedhimabouttheuniformandlockedclosetsinthemorning,butthe

cupboardswerecallingtome,beggingformetoopenthem.Maybethekeywasonhis

keyring?No,Iwasn’tgoingtolookforit,I’daskhiminthemorning.

Takingadeepbreath,Iwenttoshutoffthelightandjoinhiminbed,ignoringthe

eeriefeelingthatwasticklingupmyspine.IknewJakeinandoutfromallofour

conversations,andevenmoresofromthepastfewdayswe’dspenttogether.Therewas

nothingtobeworriedabout.

WhenIreachedforthelightswitch,aglimmercaughtmyeyeinthenarrowpassage

betweenacupboardandthewall.Myconsciousscreamedatmetoreachbackandgrab

thekeyhangingonthewall.Itwasobviouslyhidden,poorly.

Iswallowedthelumpthatformedinmythroat.TakinganotherglanceatJake,hisfeet

hadn’tmoved.Followingmygut,Ireachedmytremblinghandthroughthenarrowspace

andgrabbedthekeys.Nodoubttheybelongedtothecupboards.

Ignoringthesenseofbetrayalforinvadingsomethingheclearlywastryingtokeep

private,Istoodbeforethem.

Myspeedofmybreathingincreased,theonlysoundcomingfrommynostrilsasI

workedupthecouragetotryoneofthekeysinthelock.Takingonelastlooktoward

Jake’slegs,Iraisedakeytothehole,findingwhichofthethreefit.

Thesecondkeyworkedonthefirstcupboard.Inhalinganotherbreath,Ilatchedonto

thehandleandswungthecupboardopen.

Icouldn’tcontainmygaspwithwhatIsaw.

Weapons.Tonsofthem.

Twobigmilitarygradegunsweredisplayedonthewall.Belowthemweredrawers,

andIbitmylipandopenedthem,onlytofindmore.Handgunsandammunitionneatly

placed,nodustorcobwebsaroundthem.Theyshinedasiftheywerecleanedonaregular

basis.

Mywholebodyshook.Jakehadnevertalkedabouthavinganinfatuationwithguns,

andbythiscollection,hehadtohavebeenobsessed.Withatremblinghand,Iranmy

fingeralongoneofthehandgunswhereanamewasinscribed.

C.Stanton.

Icoveredmymouth,holdinginmyscreamofterror.Itwasthesamenamethatwas

ontheuniform,andeveryboneandnerveinmybodyknewJakeCooper,themanI’djust

beggedtoconsumemeandloveme,wasn’twhohehadclaimedtobe.

ChapterTwenty-Three

Calm,relaxed,andridiculouslysatisfiedwasmycurrentstate.

Theonlymissing

factorwasawarm,beautiful,nakedbodypressedagainstme,hercitrusscentedhairfilling

mynostrils.Thepastforty-eighthourshadbeenrectified.IhadfallenforCoraalongtime

ago,butitwasbecomingarealitynow.

Keepingmyeyesclosed,Istretchedmyarmoutinsearchofher,onlytofeelthecool

sheetundermyfingertips.Iopenedoneeye,onlytoseethatitwasdarkoutsidestill,and

thatIwasindeedaloneinbed.Sittingupright,Iswungmyfeetoffmysideofthebedto

findCora,onlytobestartledtoseeshewassittinginachairinthecorneroftheroom.

Ismiledather,butitdisappearedinstantly.

Shewasglaringatme,dressedcompletely,sittingwithherarmsandlegscrossed.If

shewereabomb,she’dbeonthevergeofexploding.Iswallowed,terrifiedofthepetite

womanasifshewereamonster.

“…Issomethingwrong?”Iaskedwithaforcedsmile.

Hereyesonlynarrowedmore.“Whydon’tyoutellme?”

Ilaughedtohidemyuneasiness,butmycoverwasn’tworking.

Shestoodfromthechair,herarmsstillcrossed.“Whoareyou?”Sheasked,hervoice

shaking.

Iswallowed,holdingmyhandsout.“Whohaveyoutalkedto?”

Herstrongdemeanorbroke,herhandcoveringhermouthwithwideeyes.“Ohmy

God,”shegasped.Thegreenofhereyeswasbright,butwithfearinsteadofwonderand

awe.

Iwenttostand,coveringmyjunkwithapillow,searchingthegroundformyboxers

orshorts.

“Don’tcomeanyclosertome,”shewarned,pointingherfingerinmydirection.

“Cora,letmeexplain.”

“Areyougoingtokillme?”Hervoicesqueaked.

“What?No!”Isnorted,appalledshe’dsaysuchathing.“Whyonearthwouldyou

thinkthat?”

Shedangledasetofkeysinfrontofme.

Mystomachknotted.Shefoundmystash.“Cora,Iwouldneverhurtyou.Thoseare

formyotherjob.”

Herfacescrunchedasifsheswallowedsomethingsour.“Youasshole!Howcomeyou

nevertoldmeyouhadanotherjob?Anddon’tyouthinkajobthatinvolvedyouhavinga

shittonofweaponswouldbeanimportanttopictocoverbeforefuckingsomeone?!”

Myheadcockedtotheside,guiltfloodingintome.“Ishouldhavetoldyou.”

“Damnrightyoushouldhave.Who’sC.Stanton?”

Itookadeepbreath,terrifiedtotellherthetruth.

“Jake,”sheprompted,herpatiencedwindling.

Tossingthepillowtothebed,Isnatchedmyshortsandslidthemon.“Letmeget

dressedandmakesomecoffee-”

“WhothefuckisC.Stanton?”Sheinterrupted,clearlynotinthemoodforany

bullshit.Takinginanothersharpbreath,Ipreparedfortheworst.

ChapterTwenty-Four

MyheartwaspoundingwhileIwaitedforhisresponse.IknewwhoC.Stantonwas,

butIhadtohearitfromhim,evenifthatmeantmyheartwouldcrumbleintoathousand

pieces.

Hismouthwassetinastraightlineashecontemplatedhiswords.Heknewhe’dbeen

caughtinhislies.

Hisgazefoundthefloor.“CstandsforColton.ColtonStantonis…me.”

Everymuscleinmybodyweakenedbytheblowofhislie.Forfiveyearsheledmeto

believehisnamewasJakeCooper.Igrippedtheframeofthechairwithmyhandtokeep

mestanding.

Helungedtostopmefromfalling,butIthrewahandoutathiminwarning.“Don’t

fuckingtouchme!”

Bothhishandsshottohissides.“Alright,Ijustdidn’twantyoutofall.”Hisbrows

werescrunchedasifhewasinpain.“Please,let’stalkaboutthis.”

Mybreathingwassporadicalongwithmythoughts.WhatthehellwasIgoingtodo?

“Ican’tbelieveyou.”

“JakeCooperisapenname,”hesaid.“AlotofpeoplecallmeJake,includingmy

mum.It’smymiddlename.Coltonismyfather’sname.”

Inarrowedmyeyesathim.“Whywouldn’tyoutellmethis?ItoldyouKartwasn’t

myreallastname.Wouldn’tthatbeagoodtimetosay,oh,yeah,bytheway,JakeCooper

isn’tarealperson?”

“Iunderstandwhyyou’reupset.Just,hearmeout,”hepleaded.

Ishookmyhead,theurgetocryuglytearsrushingthroughme.Iwassoangryand

upset,feelingbetrayedandlikeanidiot.Notknowingwhattodo,Imarchedoutofhis

bedroom,needingspace,keepingthesetofkeysfirmlyinmyballed-upfist.

“Icouldn’ttellyoumyrealname.Onlyaveryfewpeopleknowit,”hesaid,

followingmeintohislivingroom.

“Likewho?BecausethemoreandmoreIthinkaboutit,youdon’thaveanyother

friendsyoutalkabout.YouclammedupwhenIaskedaboutyourfamily.Wasitallsome

weirdploytogetmehereandtrapme?”

Hecockedhisheadandglaredatme.“Really?YouactuallythinkI’dkidnapyou?”

Ithrewmyhandtowardhisbedroomdoor.“Didn’tthinkyou’dhaveastashofguns

totakeoutasmallisland,what’stostopyoufromtargetinginonme?”

“It’sformyotherjob,”hesaidthroughgrittedteeth.

“Whatareyou?Somesecretspy?”Imocklaughed.

HeswallowedandIwatchedthelumprunningdownhisstrongneck.“Yes.”

Mymouthopened,butsnappedclosed.Iwasatalossforwords.

“Iwantedtotellyou,butthetimewasneverright.Ididn’twanttoscareyouaway.”

Losingmystrength,Isatdownonthecouch.Irubbedmyeyes,mymindspinningin

amilliondirections.Howdidhetrickmesowell?

“Cora,IhaveashitloadofbaggageIwastooafraidtosharewithyou.”

Tearswelledinmyeyes.“Youthinkitwaseasyformetosharehowfuckedupmy

lifebecame?”

Jakefrowned,hiseyesfillingwithsympathy.Hecautiouslywalkedtowardme,

fallingtohiskneesinfrontofme.“Iknowitwasn’t.You’rebraverthanIam.Iputona

frontbecauseIdon’tknowhowtodealwithit.”Carefully,hetestedme,settinghishand

onmyknee.Iwastoomixeduptoshovehimaway.“Youmakemydarknessturninto

light,Cora.”

“Whatdarkness?You’rethehappiestpersonI’veevermet.”

Hestaredathisthumbstrokingmyknee.“I’mgoodathidingit.”

“Yeah,you’regoodathidingalotofthings,”Isnapped,nudginghishandfrommy

kneeandcrossingmylegsalongwithmyarms.Hefellbackonhisheels,settinghishands

onhisownknees.

“Iam.WhichiswhyI’mgoodatmyjob.I’mretiredmilitary,andwasofferedajob

withaprivateoperationscompany.”

Ishookmyhead.“Whatdoesthatevenmean?”

Hetookadeepbreath.“Icatchverydangerousmeninaction.”

“So,youworkforthepolice?”

Heshookhisheadno,andeveryboneinmybodyshook.

“Please,don’tbeafraid.Iturnthemintothepolice,mostofthetime.”

“Sobadmenhireyoutofindotherbadmenwhohavefuckedthemover.Isthatwhat

you’retellingme?Youusethosegunstohurtthem?”

Hebobbedhishead.“Theyaren’tallbadmenwhohireme.Mostofthetimethey

wantrevengefrombadbusinessdeals.I’mgoodatfindingmenwhohide.I’vespentalot

oftimeinthedesertsearchingformen.Theweaponsaremytools,yes,butIrarelyuse

themformorethantargetpractice.I’mabitofacollector.”

Ihuffed.Whyanyonewouldneedthatmanygunswasbeyondme.Allitdidwas

screamcrazykiller.“Thisisalot.”

“Iknow,andIunderstandyoubeingupset.”

Myeyeswidened.“Well,that’sarelief,”Ideadpanned.

Herolledhiseyes.“It’snotsafeforpeopletoknowasmuchasI’vetoldyou.Ihavea

lotofenemies,Cora.Ican’tputyouatrisk”

Iraisedmybrows.“So,youneverintendedforustobecomeanything,youonly

wantedsomequickscrewbyawomanyou’vebeentoyingwithontheinternet.Igetit,

Jake,orColton,orwhoeverthefuckyouare,”Ispat,throwingmyarmstomysidesin

frustration.

Heshookhisheaddrastically.“I’mJake.Iwasn’ttoyingwithyou,you’vebeenmy

onlyfriendforalongtime.Itrustyoumorethananyone!”Hisvoicecracked,andheset

bothhishandsoneithersideofmeonthecouch,comingupontohisfeet.Hewasinmy

facenow,andIwasdoingmybestnottowitherinhispresence.

“Youknowme,Cora,therealme.BetterthananyoneelseItalkto.I’mafrontfor

everyoneelsebesidesyou.Don’tletthiswedgebetweenus.”

Iglaredathim.“I’dsayit’smorethanawedge,wouldn’tyou?Imean,upuntilan

houragoIthoughtyouwereawriterlivinghappilyonalake,nowIknowyouworkfor

someprivatecompanysearchingandintimidatingdangerouspeople.”

Hetookadeepbreath,hiseyesnarrowingatme.Hewasfrustratedaswell,which

pissedmeoff.I’dbeennothingbuthonestwithhim,sharingmyweaknessestowardafuck

headex-husbandthatIletdestroymeforwaytoolong.“Cora,please,don’tletthisruin

whatwehave.”

Istuckmyfingerintohischest.“You’retheonewhoruinedit.”

Hesnatchedmyhandinhisgrip.“Yes,thisismyfaultformakingyoufeelbetrayed,

andI’mterriblysorryI’vehurtyou.You’vebeenhurtenough,andIshouldhavebeenup

frontwithyou,butbelievemewhenIsayIdiditforyourowngood.”

Ishookmyhead,tearsfallingdownmycheeks.“AndIthoughtIcouldn’tbehurt

again.Thiswasaknifetotheback,andIdon’tevenknowwhattosayanymore.”

Jakekeptmyhandinhis,andIattemptedtoyankitfromhishold.“Bemadatme,but

don’tpushmeaway,”hedemanded.“IhatethatI’mcausingyoupain,butyouknowme,

Cora.I’vealwaysbeenmyselfwithyou.”

Aknocksoundedonthefrontdoor,andJakejumped,takingaprotectivestancein

frontofme,searchingtheareaasifanintruderwouldwalkthroughit.Thenhisshoulders

fellwhenhesawmysuitcasespackednexttothedoor.

“Youcan’tleave,”hecroaked.“Notlikethis.”

Istoodandwalkedpassedhim,unabletomeethiseyes.Ihadnoideawhohewas

anymore,andalthoughhesaidhewasrealwithme,howcouldItrusthim,andfeelsafein

hishousewhenhe’dliedaboutsomanythings?

“Ineedtothink,”Iwhispered,slippingonmyshoesandsettingmyhandonthe

doorknob.

“Waituntilthemorning.Please,”hebegged,leaningagainstthefrontdoor.“You

can’ttakeacabbiethislateatnight.I’lldriveyouwhereveryouneedtogointhe

morning.Let’sberational,now.”

“Youneedtomove,Jake.”

“Cora,please,”hepaused,hiseyesbeginningtomoisten.Ihadtoclosemyownlids.

ThiswashowMartincontrolledme,wellingwithtearsandapologies.Icouldn’tletJake

dothesame.

Hetookasharpinhale.“Iloveyou.”

Myhearthammeredinmychest.Ilovedhimtoo,butIlovedthemanwhohe

pretendedtobe,notthespecialservice,highintense,militarykillerthathereallywas.

“Move,Jake.Letmego,”Isaidfirmly,throwingmybagovermyshoulderand

grabbingmysuitcasehandlewithmyotherhand.

Jakewaitedamoment,butmovedsoIcouldopenthedoor.Thecabdriversmiledat

first,butthenbecameuncomfortablewhenhesawmytearsandJakefollowingmeinonly

hisgymshorts.

“Letmegetthoseforyou,”hesaid,takingmybag.Jakeglaredathim.

“Cora,Idon’twantthis,”hewhisperedoncethecabdriverfoundthetrunkofhiscar,

throwingmythingsinit.

“Youshouldhavethoughtofthatbefore.”

Hetookmyhandandhelditoverhisheart.Hischestwasclammywithsweat,his

heartpoundingwildlyagainstmyshakypalm.“It’snotsafeforyou.”

Icranedmyheadinhisdirection.“Whywouldyousaythat?”

Hesuckedinhischeeks,ascowlformingacrosshisforehead.

Ishookmyheadindisbelief.“It’sMartin,isn’tit?Youknowhim,don’tyou?”

Heswallowed.“He’shiredoneofmyco-workersinthestatesinthepast.Iaskedhim

tocheckonMartintheotherday.”

Angerfueledme,andIbegansmackinghisrockhardofachestoverandover,

poundingathimasifhewasapunchingbag.“You’reafuckingasshole!”

Jakestoodthere,lettingmehithimwhilemytearsflowedfreely.“Iwascheckinginto

himforyou.Thatbullshittexthesentscaredyou,andIdidn’twantyoutobeafraid.”

Givinghimonelastblowtothechest,Iscrunchedmyfiststogether,shakingwith

angerandfearoftheunknown.

Jakecautiouslysethishandonmywrist,andIwastootiredfrommytantrumto

immediatelybrushhimoff.“Ijustwantedtomakesurehewasn’tplanninganything,and

ifhewas,Iwantedtobeprepared.”

Iglaredathim,flinchingfromhishold.“Makesureallofyourgunswereloaded?Is

thatit?”

“There’smoretomyjobthanshooting,Cora,”hemuttered.“Thinkofitlikeagame

ofchess.Ihavetohaveallofmypiecesinplacetoprotectmyqueen.”

Igroundmyteethtogether,hatingthathislinemademyheartskipabeat.Crossing

myarms,Iscowledathim.“AndwhatpiecewasIinyourgameofchessbeforeIslept

withyou?”

Hefurrowedhisbrows,notunderstanding.

Juttingmychinandstandingmyground,Icontinued.“DidyouworkforMartin?Did

heeverwantyouto‘takecareofme?’Or,didyouseemyphotoonhisdeskthendecideto

makemeyourconquest?”

Hefrowned,hiseyesbecomingstormy.“First,IthoughtImadeitclearI’vecared

aboutyouforaverylongtime.Second,I’vealreadytoldyouaco-workerhadworked

withhim,andnotinregardstoyou,anditwasaninsanecoincidence.Third,you’ve

NEVERbeenaconquest,andI’mabitappalledyou’dthinksolowofme.”

Myarmsremainedcrossed,apprehensiveifheweretellingmethetruthornot.“I’ma

bitappalledyoudidn’ttellmeyourrealnameorthatyouhuntpeople,buthey,who’s

counting?”

“Ishouldhavetoldyoubeforeyoucameouttovisit.I’msorry.”

Ishookmyhead,suckinginabreathasifitwouldhelpholdinmytears.“There’sa

lotyoushouldhavetoldmealongtimeago.”

Thecabdriverwasstandingbyhisdoor,tappingonthehoodofthecar.“Er…did

youstillneedaride?Ifyoudo,weshouldprobablygetgoing.”

Jakeheldmystarewithhis,beggingmetoforgivehimandstay,butIjustcouldn’tdo

it.He’dliedabouttoomanypersonalthings,andsomeofthemwerejustterrifying,andI

didn’tknowifIcouldtrusthim.Martinouttogetmeornot,Ihadtogetawayandthink.

“I’mcoming,”Igrumbled,edgingpassedJake.

“Cora,pleasedon’tgorightnow.Waituntilmorning.Sleeponallofthis,wecantalk

moreandthenyoucandecide.”

Findingthebackpassengerdoor,Iswungitopen.“Thetimefortalkingwasmonths,

orevenyearsago,Jake.”

Jakefollowed,settinghishandonthedoor.“You’rebeingirrational.”

“Letgoofthedoor!”Ishouted,pissedhe’dcallMEirrational,consideringhewasthe

onewithallofthelies.“Ineedspace,”Iwhispered,resistingasnifffrommyrunning

nose.

“Love,”hepleaded.

Ionlyshookmyhead,facingforward,refusingtoseethedeepbrownofhisgentle

eyesbeggingmetocomebacktohim.

ChapterTwenty-Five

I’veneverbeensoupsetwithmyself.IknewIshouldhavetoldCorathetruthabout

mypast,butIwassoterrifieditwouldblowupinmyface,andlikeIfeared,itwasafull

onexplosion,endingwiththewomanofmydreamsdrivingawaywithtearsandanger

becauseIwassuchanidiot.

Soliketheparanoidcreepshepresumedmetobe,Iraninside,threwonat-shirtand

sneakers,grabbedmygobagwithspareclothingandhoppedinmytruck,followingher

likethelove-sickpuppyIwas.

ItwasmorethanjustbecauseIwantedherbackinmylife.Shewasn’tsafe,notwith

Martinmakingthreatstohersafety.BenledmetobelieveMartinhadsomethingcooking

againstCora,andIwasn’twillingtotakeanychances.

IdrovelikeamaniacuntilIcaughtuptothetaxi.Thankfullytheroaddidn’thave

manyturns,andbythepathweweretaking,Corawasheadedstraightfortheairport.I’d

havetopullsomemajorstringsifsheweretotryandgetonaflighthome.

Pullingoutmyphone,IdialedBen.He’dcalledmewhileCoraandIweremaking

love.Ashudderranthroughme,recallinghowshetouchedme.Ineededtofixus.

“Youdoknowaboutthetimedifference,right?”Hecroakedfromhissleep.“Ifigured

meleavingamessageforyoutocallmemeantyou’ddoitwhenIwasn’tinbed.”

“Sorrymate,gladyouanswered.Look,I’verunintoabitofsnag.”

Heclearedhisthroat.“Troubleinparadise?Didshefindoutaboutyoursecretlife?”

Iclenchedmyjaw.“Somethinglikethat.CanyoupayMartinanothervisit?Ineedto

knowifhe’slefttown.”

Actually,ifheleft,thenCoraheadinghomewouldn’tbesoterrible.Martinwouldbe

onhiswayhere,andIcouldhandlehimwhileCorawassafehalftheworldaway.

“Heactuallycalledmelastnight,wantingtomeetwithmeaboutanewjob.Iwas

goingtosleepbeforeIcalledandtoldyou.”

Irubbedmyjaw.“Didhehintaboutwhohewaslookingfor?”

Bensighed.“Awoman.”

Iclosedmyeyes,knowingMartinwassearchingforCora.

“Tellhimshe’swithme.I’llsettletherest.”

ChapterTwenty-Six

Althoughtravelinghomeshouldhaveflownby,itmovedatasnail’space.Ididn’t

haveanyholdups,andallflightswereontime.Amazingwhathappenswhenyouofferto

flyonstand-byoutofthecountry.Theticketpricesweregouged,butIhadtogetoutof

NewZealand.

ThetaxidriverwelcomedmeinmyboringstateofIllinois,andacold,rainynight

camealongwithhim.Hedidn’tspeakalickofEnglish,andIwasfinewiththat.Ididn’t

wanttotalktoanyone,fearfulthatI’dstartcryingfortheumpteenthtime.

Jakebrokemyheartwithhislies.Ididn’tknowwhattobelieveanymore.Iprobably

shouldhavebookedaflighttosomesmallislandanddisappearedfrombothMartinand

Jake,butthatwasn’tlogical.Ineededtostrapdownandfinishamanuscript,makeagood

chunkofmoney,thenfleethecountry.

Whenwepulledupinfrontofmyhome,itwasstillraining.Themumshadn’tdied

likeIthoughttheywouldwhenIcamehome,butthenagain,Iwassupposedtobegone

foramonth,notonlyfivedays.

HowdidIfallhardforamanandgetmyheartshatteredinonlyfivedays?

Payingthecabdriverandgrabbingmyluggage,Imuddledmywaytothefrontdoor,

notcaringthattherainwasgettingmesoaked.Ithelpedhidethetearsthatkeptshedding

outofmycontrol.

ItalsosentflashbacksofJakeandmymake-outsessionunderthewillowtreeinthe

storm.

EverythingwasremindingmeofJakewithinthetwodayshitshowofgettinghome.

Amansatnexttomeonmyfirstflightwhowasobsessedwithmountainbiking,and

wouldn’tshutupaboutit.Then,whenIwaswaitingforacoffee,andthepeoplebehind

meweretalkingaboutabookinthesamegenreaswhatJakewrote.Mylastflight,Isat

nexttoawomanwhocarriedonhercat,whohadthesamecoloringasShepley.

Turningthekey,Icameinside,notbotheringtobringmysuitcaseupstairswithmeto

unloadit.IwasgoingtocurlundermycoversandcryuntilIpassedout,notcaringhow

longthatwouldbe.Ihadnothingplanned,andnothingtolookforwardto.Myphone

wouldstayshutoffuntilIcouldhandleseeingallofthemissedcalls,messages,andtexts

fromJake.Whichrightnowfeltlikeitwouldbenever.Infact,wheneverIfeltlikeIcould

getoutofbed,I’dgotothephonestoreandgetanewnumber.

Finallymakingitupthestairs,Inoticedaglowfrommybedroom.Iprobablyleftthe

sidelampon,itwasn’tuncommonformetodo.

Morethanreadytoflopontomybed,Icrossedthroughthethreshold,onlytobe

scaredstiffinmytracks.TherewasMartin,sittingontheedgeofthebedasifhehadbeen

waitingformetocomehomefromatrip.

“Hello,sweetheart,”hepurred,remainingseatedontheedgeofthebed.“Howwas

NewZealand?Everythingyoudreameditwouldbe?”

Mytonguegotcaughtinmythroat.Everyboneinmybodywasscreamingatmeto

dartdownthestairsandrunafterthecab,orjustrunasfarawayasIcould,butnothing

wouldmove.Evenmyjawstayedslackedopeninshock.

“Sohappytoseemethatyoucan’tthinkoftherightwordstosay?”Hesneered,

cockinghishead.Hisblueeyeswereascoldasice,nothingcomparedtothedullblue

buttonupheworepairedwithdarkjeans.“I’mthrilledtoseeyou.”

“You’renotsupposedtobehere,”Icroaked,myvoicesoundingasweakasmy

terrifiedmuscles.“Weagreed-”

Heshookhishead,hisdeathstaresilencingme.“ThatwaswhenIcouldn’tproveyou

werehavinganaffair.”

Mybrowsfurrowed.“I’venevercheatedonyou.”

Hiscrookedsmilecametoattention,althoughasmileshouldmakeyoufeelwarmth,

thisgrinwasdeadly,sendingchillsupanddownmyspine.“No?Thenwhywouldyou

escapetoanothercountrywithamanyou’vetalkedtoontheinternet?I’mnotamoron,

Corrine.IknowallaboutyourlatenightconversationswithColton‘Jake’Stanton.”

Myeyesdartedtotheground,irritatedthatMartinknewhisnamebeforeIdid.No

doubthe’dbeentrackinghimforsometime.Jakesaidhewasgoodatfindingpeoplewho

wantedtodisappear.Well,sowasMartin,atleastheknewwhotohire.

“Itwasforwork,”Imuttered.“Wecollaboratedinwriting.You’vealwaysknown

that.”

Hecockedhisheadtotheoppositeside,furrowinghisbrowsasifhewerethinking.

“Isthatwhatyoucalledit?Collaborating?Didn’tknowyouhadtodothatinperson.

Unless,allthoseextremelyinappropriateandgraphicstoriesyousenttohimneededtobe

testedout.”

Iclenchedmyjaw,angerbubblinginsideofme.“You’reoutofline,andneedtoget

outofmyhouse.”

Hearchedabrow.“Soyoudon’tdenyit?”

Icrossedmyarms.“Idon’tneedtoconfirmordeny.Wearen’tmarriedanymore,so

thatmakesitnoneofyourbusiness.”

Heslowlystood,rubbinghishandsalonghisshirttomakesurethereweren’tany

creases.Hewascalmandposed,notsomethingI’dhaveexpected,butitwasalso

frightening.Healwaysblewupoutofnowhere,beingcompletelyfineonemoment,thena

ravinglunaticthenext.

BothhishandswereonhishipswhenIsteppedbackward.“Youaremybusiness,

Cora.Youmightthinkbecausewe’redivorcedthatitmeansyoucangoaroundfucking

somerandom‘writer’thatyouhaddevelopedsometypeofbullshitfeelingsforwhilewe

weremarried,butI’mheretotellyou,Iwon’tallowit.”

Takinganothersteptowardme,hecontinuedinhiscalmandcollectedvoice.“Ihave

photosofthetwoofyou,andthosephotoswillgetmemyhouse.”

“You’realiar,”Ispat,callinghisbluff.Hewasn’tgoingtointimidatemewithsuch

outlandishbullshit.IdecidedtodivorcehimbecauseIwassickofhisbullshit,andif

stickingupformyselfmightgetmehurt,itwouldbeworthit.“Evenifyouhadphotosof

Jakeandmyself,itwouldn’tmeanshit.We’redivorced,thishouseismine,andI’mgoing

tocallthepoliceifyoudon’tleave.”

Heliftedhischin,eyeingmesuspiciously.“Wheredidmyweakbitchofawifego?”

“I’mtiredofyourgames,Martin.Ifyoudon’twalkdownthestepsandleave,I’m

callingthepolice.”

Hetiltedhisheadasifhewerecontemplatinghisoptions.Sickofhislackadaisical

attitudeandlackofrespectformywishes,Ipulledoutmyphonefrommybackpocket

andhitthepowerbutton.

Justastheapplelitup,astiffhandswipedacrossmyfaceatalightningspeed,

smackingmesquareacrossthejawandknockingmetotheground.Isquealedfromthe

burn,grabbingmyfaceasifitwouldtakeawaythepain.

“Yeah,Idon’tthinkso,”hegrumbled,grabbingahandfullofmyhair.Ittugged

painfullyonmyhead,causingmetoscreech.“Shutup,youcunt.I’mtakingwhat’smine.”

Yankingmetomyfeet,Ibitmyliptokeepfromwhimpering.

Tossingmetothebed,hepinnedmeonmyback,grabbingholdofbothmywrists.I

foughtagainsthim,squirmingunderhisbodyandthrustingmyarmsinattemptsforhim

toletgo.Hemighthavebeenstrongerthanme,butIwaswillingtofighthimuntilIdidn’t

haveanystrength.

“It’llonlymakeitworseifyoufightme,”hemuttered,finaglingbothmyhands

togetherinoneofhisstronggraspssohecouldreachforhisbackpocket.Ikickedand

foughtmore,knowinghewasweakenedandtryingtodomultipletasks.

Hepulledoutarollofducttape,bitingtheedgeandrippingapieceoff,then

maneuveringitaroundmysquirminghands.Itstucktomysweatyhands,therippingof

theducttaperoaredinmyearsashecontinuedtowrapitaround

“Whatisyourproblem?!”Ishouted,kickingmylegsmoreforcefullywhilehesaton

mypelvis.“Haveyoulostyourfuckingmind?”

Rippingtheducttapewithhisteeth,heforcedmyhandsabovemyhead,themotion

awkwardandpainful.Gettingintomyface,hisbreathwashotwhenhespat,“No,Ilost

mywife,andthatpissesmethefuckoff.”

“Maybeyoushouldn’thavebeensuchanabusiveprick,”Iwhisperedagainsthislips,

debatingbitinghisnosesohardthatI’dripitoff.Iwasfuriouswithhimpullingthisshit,

nolongerafraid,butpissedthathecouldn’tletmego.

“Maybeyoushouldhavebeenanobedientwife,”hemuttered,pressinghislipsto

mine.

Ishookmyhead,notwantinghismouthtotouchmine.“What,baby?Didn’tyoumiss

mewhileyouweregone?IthinkIdeserveakiss.”

“Youdon’tdeserveanything,”Imutteredthroughclenchedteeth.

Hescowled.“Ithinkthat’senoughofyouropinion.”Takingtheducttape,heripped

anotherpiecewithhisteeth,forcingitovermymouth.Iscreamed,butitwasnouse.The

ducttapeonlymuffledmycries.

Hestayedhoveringoverme,hisicyeyesglaringdownatme.Hewasspiteful,his

animosityforhoweverythingwentdownclear.Hewasheretotakewhateverlittlebitof

spiritIhadleftinsideofme,andthefightIhadbuiltupwasbeginningtofade.My

anxietybegantocreepup,overpoweringmyangerandmorphingintofear.

“We’regoingtohaveonelastnightoffuntogether,”hemurmured,leaningdownand

kissingmyforehead.

Atearrolleddownmycheekagainstmywill.

“Don’tcry,I’llbesuretomakeitfast,”hepromised,asinistersmilecrossinghislips.

Anothertearfell,andIwasregrettingnottrustingJake.Ifhewantedtohurtme,he

wouldhavedoneitthefirstnight,notbepatientwithmyquirksandinsecuritiesabout

beingintimate.IfIhadstayedwithJake,Iwouldn’tbeducttapedandsilenced,fighting

formylife.

Martinmoveddownmyflailinghipsandlegs,sittingonmythighstostopthemfrom

thrashing.Holdingdownmyarmswithonehand,heliftedmyshirtwiththeother,

yankingonmybratorevealmybreasts.“Yourtitsarestillshitty.”

Then,agravellyvoicewithafamiliaraccentrangthroughtheroom.“Ithinkhertits

areprettyfuckingamazing.”

Martin’seyesnarrowed,hisheadwhippingaround.Icouldn’tseepasthisframe,butI

knewtheownerofthevoice.Asobescapedme,muffledagainstthetapeovermymouth,

myeyesclenchingclosedwithhope,knowingwhosevoiceitwas.

“Well,ifitisn’tinternetboy,”Martinsmirked.“Youcanhaveapieceofherfirst,but

Iwantherlast.”

Mybodyfroze.DidIgetthisallwrong?Weretheyfriends?DidMartinuseJaketo

trapme?Howfuckedupofastorywouldthatbe.

“Isuggestyougetoffofher,”Jakesaidinalowvoice.

“Orwhat?You’llkillmeinoneofyourbooks?”Martinlaughed,squeezingoneofmy

breastswithhishandssohardthatIwinced.

“Youlikeit,”heshouted,pinchingmynippleandcausinganexcruciatingpain.

“Getyourfuckinghandsoffofher,”Jakecommanded,histoneloudenoughfor

Martintoremovehishand.

Martin’seyesnarrowed,andheclimbedoffme,standingattheedgeofthebedand

glaringatJake.

IgaspedintothetapewhenJakecameintoview,myeyeswidewhenIsawhim

aimingagunatMartin.Nosignofapprehensionwasonhisfaceashecockedthetrigger.

Hewaslockedandloaded,andterrifying.Thebrownofhiseyeswerefocusedandsteady,

neverleavingsightofhistarget.NothingaboutJakewasfriendlyandinviting.Ifanything,

heportrayedstonecoldkillerperfectly.ByhowskittishMartinwas,Jakemustnothave

pulledouthisgununtilnow.

“Ididn’twanttohavetodothis,”Jakewarned,pointingthegunatMartin.“Atleast

notinfrontofCora.”

“You’llbeadeadmanifyoushootme,”Martinlaughed,hishandsfindinghis

pockets.“Iknowalotofpeopleyouwouldn’twantforenemies.”

JakesmiledasifheenjoyedMartin’scomment.“Themorethemerrier,bloke.Let’s

gohaveatalk,shallwe?”

Martinglancedatme,thenshruggedhisshoulders.“Notsurewhyyou’resoupset.

Shewasn’tfaithfultome,soshesureasshitwon’tbefaithfultoyou.Nottomentionhow

terribleofawifeshewas.Goodluckgettinglaidafterthefirstfewmonths.”

“Shedidn’tbathereyesatmeoncewhileyouweremarried.I’dsayyouwerethearse

intherelationship.Let’sgo,”Jakeinstructed,keepingthegunonMartin.

“I’llbeback,Love,”hesaidoverhisshoulder,asoftnesstohistonethataman

holdingagunwouldn’tnormallypossess.HeleadMartinoutoftheroom,leavingme

stuckwithmyhandstiedonthebed.

Thankfully,Ihadtheuseofmylegs,wormingmywaytomyfeetfromthebed.I

neededtheuseofmyhands.NodoubtMartinwasn’talone.I’msurehehiredathugtobe

nearby.Hewasn’tonewhoforgotaboutdetail.Byhowhewassittingherewaitingforme,

heknewaboutNewZealandthemomentIboughttheplaneticket.

WithoneeyeclosedfromMartin’sblowtomyface,Irushedtothecornerofthe

nightstand,maneuveringmywristssothetapecouldberubbedagainstthesharpedge.I

knewIdidn’thavemuchtime,somymovementbecamefrantic,theurgencytohelpJake

fuelingmyadrenaline.

Afterafewmoments,thetapehadbeenloosenedandtornenoughformetowiggle

myhandsfree.Tearingoffthetapefrommymouth,Iwinced,refrainingfromlettingout

soundsofpain.Tossingtheleftovertapeonthefloor,Icollectedmyself,runningthrough

optionsonwhatIshoulddonext.

IhidabatunderneathmybedthemomentMartinleft.Crouchingdowntograspthe

woodshaft,Iyankeditout,twistingitbetweenmytremblinghands.Myknuckleswere

whitefromgrippingthebatsotight.

Takingadeepbreath,Iprowledtothehallway,tiptoeingtoavoidtherarecreakinthe

floor.Nonoisewasbeingmadefromdownstairs,soIhadnocluewhereJakehadlead

Martin.Asinistersideofmesecretlywishedhe’dshothimanddumpedhimwherenoone

wouldfindhim,butIknewthatwouldonlycausemoretroubleforbothofus.

Besides,Ididn’twantMartintodie,Ijustwantedhimtoleavemethehellalone.

WhenIreachedthebottomofthestairs,thelightswerestillout,andIheardhushed

voicesinthelivingroom.Anothermanwascroucheddown,watchingthemwithoutbeing

seenasIwas.Hehadagunready,andIknewIneededtotargethimbeforehesnuckup

onJake.

Icrepttowardhim,preparedtoswingandtakehimout.NowaywasMartingoingto

doubleteamJake.AsItookastep,theman’sheadturned,catchingmeinhisperipheral.

Heshotmeaglare,holdinghishandtohislipsasiftosilenceme.

Ibitmytremblinglip,terrifiedthismysterymanwithagunwasonMartin’ssideand

notJake’s.

“Whatdoyoureallythinkyou’regoingtodotome?”MartinlaughedatJake.“Frame

me?”

“You’regoingtosignandabidebytherestrainingordertostayawayfromCora.”

“Corrinedidn’trequestarestrainingorder.IfIwanttocometomyhouse,Iwill.”

“Notyourhouseanymore,buddy.Amanwithyourintelligenceshouldbeableto

understandacourtcontract.Iknowyourdivorcepapersstateclearlywhoownsthishouse.

Papersareonyourworkdesk.Gosignthemnow,orinthemorning,andstayawayfrom

her,”Jakegrowled.HestillhadthegunpointedatMartin,butitdidn’tfazehimenoughto

followorders.

“Whyareyousointoher,anyway?”Martinasked.“I’vealreadygotenoughonyouto

putyourassinajailcell,whatmakeshersoworthit?Shewasfuckingmethewholetime

shewastalkingtoyou.”

“She’smyfriend,andIcareaboutit.Ifhersleepingwithherhusbandissupposedto

botherme,thenI’manasshole.Whatdoesbothermeisyourapingher.”

Martinscowled.“Ineverrapedher.Shewasmywife,sexisamust.”

Jakeshookhishead.“It’sneveramust.Shesaysno,youstop,youdumbfuck.”

Martingaveawickedgrin.“Shenevertoldmetostop.”

“Ducttapinghermouthmightmakeithardforhertobeclear.Thejerkingofthebody

tryingtothrowyouoffofhermightbeaclue.Thenagain,youdon’tpickuponsubtle

hints.Yourlastclientthatwentbankruptwouldagree.”

Martin’seyesnarrowed.“Thatwasn’tmyfault.”

“Couldn’thavebeengoodforyourPR.”

“Youdon’tknowshitaboutmybusinessormymarriage,andquitefrankly,I’mpretty

fuckingirritatedwithyourightnow.”Martintookastepforward,disregardingthegunin

Jake’shand.

“Forthetenthtime,you’renotmarriedanymore,”Jakemuttered,keepingthegun

upright.

“That’swhatyouthink.Paperdoesn’tmeanathing.Thishouseandthatbitchare

mine.”

Jakelungedforward,throwingapunchsquareacrossMartin’sjawwithhispistol.

Martinyelpedatimpact,andJakewasontopofhim,throwingblowafterblowwith

hisfist.Themanthatwascroucheddownwasnolongerthere,butwasrunningintothe

livingroom.

Isprintedafterhim.“Jake,watchout!”

Itwastoolate,themanhadagriponJake’sarm,pullinghimoffofMartin’s

shrivelingbody.

Stillholdingthebatinmyhand,Iwenttoswingitattheunknownman,onlytohave

Jakestepinfrontofmeandgrabit.“He’swithme,Love,”hesaidthroughheavybreaths.

MyeyesbouncedfromJaketotheotherman,whoonlygavemeanod.

“HeretomakesureJakewouldn’tdoanythingdumb.I’mBen.”

“Whatthefuck?”Martinspatthroughblood.“You’resupposedtobeworkingfor

me!”

Benshruggedhisshoulders,holdinghisgunuptoMartin.“Sorry,myloyaltylies

elsewhere.I’llkeepyourdeposit,though.”

JakefurrowedhisbrowsatBen.“Hehiredyoutocomeafterme?”

Benbobbedhisheadbackandforth.“Maybe,butIdidn’twanttotellyou.Iknew

you’dtakeitmoreseriouslyifIsaidhewasafterCora.”

“Thisisabunchofbullshit!”Martinshouted.Hewasstillonthegroundina

crumpledmessfromJakebeatingthecrapoutofhim.

“Shutthefuckup,”Benyelled,standingovertopofhim.“Getonyourfeetand

move.”

JustasMartinwasabouttospitmorefire,sirenssoundedoutsideofthehousewith

lightsflashingthroughtheblinds.

BennoddedtoJake.“That’smybackup.Putyourgunaway.”

Jaketuckedhisgunbehindhisbackandgrabbedmywrist.“Comeon,Love.We’ve

gottogetourstoriesstraight.”

“What?”Iaskedinbewilderment.

Hetuggedmeintothekitchen,thenheldmetohischest.

“Areyoualright?Thepolicearegoingtoaskyouwhathappened.Youneedtotell

themyouappliedforarestrainingorderbeforeyoutraveledtoNewZealand.”

“ButIdidn’t-”

Jakeshookhisheadrapidly,stoppingmefromspeaking.“Cora,ifyouwanthimto

stayawayfromyou,youhavetodothis.Theywon’taskyoueveragain.Ipromise.”

Myeyeswerewide,andIonlynodded.Hestrokedmycheekwithonestronghand,

andalloftheadrenalineinmybodyturnedintomush,andtearswelledinmyeyes.I

wrappedmyarmsaroundhiswaist,lettingoutwailsintohischest.Jakeonlystrokedmy

hair,keepingmeclosetohim.Iwasawreck,butIwassafeinhisarms,knowingMartin

wasabouttobebroughttojustice.

“I’mstillmadatyou,”Igruntedintohischest,squeezinghimtightwhilethecops

camefloodingintomyhome.TheycircledaroundBenandMartin,twoofthemyanking

onMartin’sarmsforhimtostand,whileBenbegantoreadhimhisMirandaRights.

Jakekissedthetopofmyhead.“Iknow,butIhadtofollowyou.Iknewhewasupto

nogood.”

Itrembledinhisarms,puttingthepiecestogetheronwhohereallyworkedfor.“And

youliedagain.”

Hegentlygrabbedmyjaw,meetingmyfrightenedeyes.“Iknow,butIcouldn’ttell

youIworkedundercover.Itwouldhavemadeeverythingworse.”

Iunderstood,butstillfeltbetrayed.Takingadeepbreath,Inuzzledbackintohis

chest,thankfulhehadrescuedmeeventhoughIhadpushedhimaway.

ChapterTwenty-Seven

AfterIgavemystatementandMartinwastakenaway,myhouseturnedbackintothe

dark,silentplaceIhadoriginallycamehometo.Jakemadeapotofcoffee,pouringmea

mugwhileIsatatthekitchencounter.

“Willyoubealright?”Heasked,watchingthelastpolicecardrivedowntheroad.

Ishrugged.“Hopefully.”

Hetookaseatnexttome,watchingmeintently.“I’msureyouhaveafewquestions.”

Ionlystaredintomymug,thehotsteamrisingagainstmycoolskin.“I’mnotsureI

wanttheanswerstohowyoustalkedmeandendedupfollowingmeacrosstheworld.”

Hewasholdinginhislaugh,butsoonbecameserious.“Ihadtofollowandprotect

you.”

“Becauseofyourjob?”

“No,IdiditbecauseIcareaboutyou,andIdidn’twantthatmonstertohurtyou.”

Inoddedandclosedmyeyes.“I’mthankfulyoudid,evenafterIwasabitchtoyou.”

“Ideserveditforleavingyouinthedark.Ionlyhopethatyoucanforgiveme,”he

whispered.“Inevermeanttohurtyou,Cora.”

“Iknow,”Icroaked.Meetinghiseyes,Iasked,“Isitover?”

“Itbetterbe.IwouldhavefinishedhimforgoodifBenweren’there.Hecameup

withthesolution.NottheoriginaloneIwanted,butit’llkeepmeoutoftroubleIguess.”

Iclearedmythroat.“Haveyoukilledbefore?”

Hepausedbeforeheanswered.“Yes.”

“Inthemilitary?Orforthisjob?”

“Both.”

“Alotofmen?”

Henodded.“Thefirsthandfulofthemtookoutmyfatheronamission.Iwasin

chargeofthedronethatdroppedabomb.Unfortunately,theygottomyfatherbeforeI

couldgettothem.”

“I’msosorry,”Iwhispered.Nowonderhewasafraidtoopenuptome.Hewasfull

oftrauma,andhischarismatichumorwashowhedealtwithit.

“Iwassorryforalotofyears,Istillam.Iblamemyselfforthementhatdiedthatday,

notjustmyfather.Ican’tlookmymotherintheeyebecauseofit.”

“Shedoesn’tblameyou,doesshe?”

Heshrugged.“She’sneversaidit,butIhaven’treallygivenherthechancetosayit

either.”

Iunderstoodhisfear.Iwasafraidtotalktomyparents,too,butforanentirely

differentreason.TheyresentedmydecisiontobewithMartin,andIwishedIwouldhave

listenedtothem.

“Iregretmyfatherdying,butIdon’tregretkillingthemenwhotookhislife.”

Cautiously,Itookmyhandfrommymugandcoveredhis.Hishandswerewarmer

thanmine,andthedryskinofhisknucklestickledmypalms.Imethisgaze.“Areyou

tryingtotellmeyouwouldhavekilledMartinforme?”

Hehesitated,thenquietlyspoke.“Yes.”

Westaredateachother,nodoubthewasworriedwithwhatmyreactionwouldbe.I

squeezedhishand,atearfallingfrommyeye.“Thankyou,”Imurmured,bitingmylipto

keepitfromtrembling.

Hetookmyhandinbothofhis,bringingittohislips.“Areyouafraidofme?”

Ishouldhavebeenmortifiedofhim.Hewasbredfromthemilitary,alethal,killing

machinewhowouldtakeoutanyonewhodidthesametoaninnocent,butIfeltthe

opposite.Hewouldkeepmesafetonoends.

“Notforthereason’syoumightthink,”Iadmitted.

Hefurrowedhisbrows.

“I’mmoreafraidyou’llshattermyheart,notshootit.”

Heshookhisheaddrastically.“Iloveyou,Cora.I’dneverhurtyou.Ifyouweremine,

I’dtreatyoulikemyqueen.Can’tyoupictureit?”

“Icanimaginethepictureperfectlife,butthat’snotreality.”

“LetmetellyouhowIenvisionmyperfectreality.”Hesqueezedmyhandandlooked

medeadintheeye.“We’dliveonalittlelakeinthemiddleofnowhere,Idon’tcarewhat

countryit’sin,aslongastherearefourseasons.Thehouseonlyneedstwobedrooms,one

forus,andoneforShepley.Aporchwithagrill,becauseIlovemeat,andIknowyoulove

watchingmecook.”

“We’llvisitfamily,butonlyinsmalldoses,becausewe’llconstantlyberepairingour

pastswiththem.We’llgoonmountainbikerides,sometimesforfun,ortoclearourheads,

andI’dbetwe’llbothwipeoutfromtimetotime.”Ismiledthroughmytears,

rememberingmyhead-firstdiveintothemudpuddle.

Jakekissedmyhand,thencontinued.“Somenights,we’llfightbecauseIdidn’tdo

somethingright,orbecauseoneofusarefrustratedwithlifeandwe’retakingitouton

oneanother,butitwon’tmatter,becausewithintimewe’llforgiveeachother.I’ll

apologizeregardless,becauseit’llmostlikelybemyfault,thenI’lltickleyouandkissyou

untilyou’resmilingasifnothinghadhappened.”

“Onclearnights,we’llsitoutsideunderthestars,sometimestalkingabouta

manuscriptidea,orwhathadhappenedthatday,orsometimeswewon’ttalkatall.Either

becausewe’llbesodeepintoeachother’sbodiesorbecauseweneedthetimetoourown

thoughts.”

Mycheeksflushedwhenhewiggledhiseyebrowsatme.“Deepintoeachother’s

bodies?”

“Ohyes.Iwastryingtokeepthisfromgoingsexual,butwithyourdirtymind

constantlygoingthere…”

Igiggledthroughtears,andhekissedmyhandagain,pullingmefrommychairand

invitingmetositonhislap.Myarmsfoundhisneckwhilehiswrappedaroundmywaist.

“Andinmyperfectreality,you’llletmeholdyouwhileyoucry,kissyourtearsand

tellyouhowmuchIloveyouandthatI’llalwayskeepyousafe.”

Hislipsdidjustthat,findingmydampcheekandkissingittenderly,runninghis

handsthroughmyhairandwhisperingsweetnothingsandapologies.“I’msosorryI

wasn’tupfrontwithyou.”

“I’msorryIdidn’thearyououtandstayinNewZealandwithyou,”Imurmured

back.

“Itturnedoutalright.Gavemetheopportunitytobeattheshitoutofyourex-

husband.”

Ifrowned,andhescowledatmyreaction.“Didthatupsetyou?”

Myhandfoundhischest,pickingapieceoflintfromhist-shirt.“Notyoupunching

him,I’mjustnotsureaboutyourundercoverjob.”

Heshruggedhisshoulders.“Icantakeabreakfromit.It’sonanon-callbasis.IfI

don’twantajob,Iturnitdown.I’vedeclinedquiteafewbecauseofwriting.”

“You’ddothatforme?”

Hegrinned.“Yes,sillywoman.WhenareyougoingtobelievemewhenIsayI’ddo

anythingforyou?”

Imatchedhisgrinandkissedhim,bringingmyhandstohisjaw,strokingthestubble.

Hesighedintomymouth,runninghishandupmyspine.

“Ilikeyourpictureperfect,”Iwhisperedbetweenkisses.

“It’sreal,”hemurmured.“Yet,it’ssoperfectthatit’sadreamcometrue.”

“Yes,”Ihushed,movingsoIwasstraddlinghimonthekitchenchair.

Hegroanedinapprovalagainstmylips,thepadsofhisfingerssneakingunderneath

myshirtanduptothestrapofmybra,undoingitwithease.Bothhispalmsslidacrossthe

lengthofmyback,anditfeltdivine.Ireleasedhismouth,shruggingoffmysweatshirtand

t-shirt,mybrafallingtotheflooralongwithit.Hewatched,thenpulledmebackintohim

oncemychairwasbare.Hismouthbecamemoreurgent,asifheneededmetobreath.

Hestoodfromthechair,carryingmetothelivingroom.Settingmedownnearthe

couch,hefelltohisknees,kissingmystomachwhilehishandsworkedonthebuttonof

mypants.Iranmyhandsthroughhisdarklocks,lovingthathewasn’twearingahat.The

brownofhiseyesfoundmegazingathim,andthelustinhiseyesstolemybreathaway.

Peelingdownmyjeansandunderwear,hekissedmypelvis,hiseyelidsfluttering

closedthefurtherdownhewent.Myheadfellbackwardwhenhistonguesliveredintomy

skin,findingthesensitivenub.Hemovedhismouthslowly,savoringme.

Thesensationwasamazing.He’dgodownonmeforhours,whichanyothernightI’d

allow,butrightnow,Ineededmore.Gentlytuggingonhishairtogethisattention,I

murmured,“Jake,Iwantyou.”

“Youhaveme,”hemuffledafterswirlinghistongue.

Ishookmyhead,pullingharderonhishairuntilhestoodfromhiskneesbeforeme,

hischinalreadyglisteningfromtheshortamountoftime.“Iwasjustgettingstarted,”he

whined.

Ituggedonhisshorts,forcingthemalongwithhisboxersdowntohisknees.He

smirked,steppingoutofthemasIpeeledminefrommyankles.

Onceourclothingwasonthefloor,Igrabbedhiswristsandleadhimtothesectional

couch.Itwaswiderthanatwinbed,andwouldbemorethancomfortablefortherestof

thenight,tangledwithJake.Iguidedhimtosit.Headjustedhisbodysohisbackwas

restingintothecouchcushions,hisstronglegsbeggingformetositonthem.

Straddlinghim,myarmssnakedaroundhisneck,mychestpressingagainsthis.Both

hisarmsimmediatelyfoundmywaist,guidingmetohoveroverhisverystiffshaft.He

wassobigthatI’dhavetoguidehimintome,andthesmallbitofpriminghe’ddonewith

hismouthwouldhelptoeasehiminside.Iwasgreedyforhim,eagertobecome

connected.

Usingmyhand,Ipumpedhimafewtimes,lovingseeinghimtakealongblink,his

chestrisingataquickerrate.“Yousureyou’reokaywiththis?”

Inodded,kissinghisnoseandrubbingthetipofhiscockatmyentrance.“Ineedit.”

Isankdownonhim,andhishandsclenchedontomyskin.Itwasuncomfortableat

first,butkeptfromwincing.Ihuggedhim,keepingmybodystillandmeshedwithhis.

Henippedmyjaw,thenfoundthecrookofmyneck,plantingkissesoneveryinchof

myskin.“You’resuchanangel,”whisperedintomyskin.“I’msothankfultohaveyouin

myarms.”

“I’mthankfultohaveyouinreallife.Iloveyou,Jake.”

Hisheadrestedonthecushion,gazingupatmewhileIbegantomove.“Metoo,

Love.”

Prologue

“Isthatthelastoftheboxes?”Jakegroaned,settingdownawardrobeloadedwithmy

winterclothinginhiscloset.

“Yes,itis,”Isang,droppinganothersmallerboxnexttoit.“Thinktherewillbe

enoughroom?”

“Betterbe.Imovedhalfofmyclothingtotheguestclosetforyou.”

Iputmyhandovermychest.“I’veneverfeltsohonored.”

“Ididhavemorethanenoughtimetoprepareforyou,”Jakepouted.

Irolledmyeyesandstoodonmytiptoestokissawayhisfrown.“I’mherenow,you

canstopgrumbling.”I’dstayedintheStatesforthreemonths,gettingmylifeinorderand

readytomovetoNewZealand.Jakedidn’tlikeit,butitonlymadeourrelationship

stronger.

Givinghimanotherchastekiss,Ilefttheclosetandheadedintothekitchen.Ididn’t

havealotofthings,butitwasenoughtobenoticeablewiththeamountofboxesI’d

shipped.I’msuremoreandmorewouldtrickleinwithinthenextfewweeks.

“AnywordfromSandra?”Heasked,followingme.

“Notapeep.I’mnotsurprised,shewasprettypissedwhenIrippedupourcontractin

frontofherandtherestoftheeldersontheboardofthepublishinghouse.”

Jakegrinned,settinghishandsonmyhips.“Mylittlerebel.I’msoproudofyou.I

thoughtforsureshe’dcontactyouaboutMartin.”

Isnorted.“Why?I’mthereasonhe’sinjailforthemaxamountofhissentence.Pretty

sureshewouldhavefiredmewithinamonth’stimeanyway.”

“Youdon’tseemecomplaining.Can’twaittofigureoutyourmarketingplan.”

Ipokedhischestgentlywithmyfinger.“Youbetter,becauseIhavenocluewhatI’m

doingwithrepresentingmyownstuff.”

“Postingabackwardselfiewithmewillhelpyourfollowing,”hewinked.

Imockedbeingsurprised.“Sowecanbecomeinternetofficial?Maybeyoushouldbe

backwardwhileIbeforward.”

Itiltedhisheadtowardthebackporch,ahugesmileonhisfacewhilehetuggedme

along.Thesunwassettingalongthelake,andthecolorsoftheskywouldmakefora

killerbackground.Heguidedmetotherailingfacingthehouse,thenmovedhisbodyto

myside,onlyfacingthelake.Ilaughedandheldupmyphone,restingmyheadonhis

shoulderwhilehetippedhisdamnhatlowoverhisforehead,tiltingitsohewasrestingit

againstmine,onlyintheoppositedirection.Iwassmilinglikeanidiot,whileonlythe

backofJake’shead,hishatcoveringthesexyhairthatIloved.

Snappingafewphotos,IshowedthemtoJake.

“Canwegetmoreofmyback?Ican’tseemylogo,”hejoked,andIsmackedhisarm.

“Youshouldputitonyourhat,”Iteasedmessingwiththebillofitwithmyhand.

Hesmiled,crookinghisheadtokissmeonthecheek.“Sendthosephotostome,will

you?”

“Wow,sowebothcangoviral!”Ilaughed.

Heshruggedhisshoulders,cuddlingmetohischest.“AllIcareaboutisyourupand

comingbook.Youthinkourreaderswillmaketheconnection?”

“Minewillinvestigateaftertheyreadit,”Iconfessed.“Thenthey’llstalkyourpretty

backside,”Igrinned,reachingaroundandsqueezinghistautbehind.

“Thenminewilldothesameoncetheyseethishotchickonmypage.”

“Onlyifyoutagme,”Iwinked.

“Haven’tdecided,”hesighed.“I’vegotsomeweirdosontherethatI’mnotsureI

wanttoogleyou.”

Irolledmyeyesagain,restingmyheadagainsthischest.Hehuggedme,kissingmy

foreheadandrestinghischinagainstmytemple.Jakemademeuncharacteristicallyhappy,

bringingouteverythingwithinmeIwasafraidtofeelandletconsumeme.Hewas

amazing,andIwassogratefulItooktheleapoffaithtoflyacrosstheworldandseehim.

Ilovedhim,andwouldforever.Wewerecontentandthrilledtostartourlives

together.Nodramaorbaggage.Ourliveswereoutintheopentoeachother.Nomore

secretsordangerouspaststowedgebetweenus.

Ihadfinallyfoundmyhappilyeverafter.

TheEnd

AbouttheAuthor

BrookePageisacontemporaryromanceauthorwholoveswritingromanticsuspense

novelsthatwillleadherreadersthroughtwistsandturnswitheachpage.Shewantsher

readerstofeelliketheyareapartofthethrill,makingtheirheartsracefromnotonly

passionbutalsotheintensityofthestory.Brookehasacraftforweavingsteamand

mystery,givingherreadersastorytheywon’twanttoputdown.

ForthemostuptodateinformationonBrooke’slatestbooks,joinher

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Document Outline

Dangerous Lies
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter Twenty-Four
Chapter Twenty-Five
Chapter Twenty-Six
Chapter Twenty-Seven

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