Bear County 2
Cowboy Heart
Noah Cross grew up in Lamont's Trailer Heaven, a place that is
nothing but hell for him. The park is drug-infested and any sane
man's worst nightmare. Noah wants more out of life. He wants a
man who can show him what it really means to be loved. When he
meets Jedediah Gibbs, Noah falls head over heels in lust. The
problem is, Jed won't give him the time of day.
Having been scorned once already, Jed has sworn off love. He
wants nothing to do with Noah or the human's infatuation toward
him. Unfortunately, fate has other plans. When Jed buys a gas
station, Noah presents an offer Jed can't refuse. Life in Bear
County is getting exceedingly complicated. The harder Jed pushes
Noah away, the more attracted he is to the man. But it takes Noah
nearly dying for Jed to finally let down his guard and allow himself
to love again.
Genre: Alternative (M/M or F/F), Contemporary, Paranormal,
Shape-shifter, Western/Cowboys
Length: 27,550 words
COWBOY HEART
Bear County 2
Lynn Hagen
THE LYNN HAGEN MANLOVE COLLECTION
Siren Publishing, Inc.
www.SirenPublishing.com
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A SIREN PUBLISHING BOOK
IMPRINT: The Lynn Hagen ManLove Collection
COWBOY HEART
Copyright © 2014 by Lynn Hagen
E-book ISBN: 978-1-62741-741-9
First E-book Publication: May 2014
Cover design by Emma Nicole
All art and logo copyright © 2014 by Siren Publishing, Inc.
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED: This literary work may not be
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All characters and events in this book are fictitious. Any resemblance
to actual persons living or dead is strictly coincidental.
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Siren Publishing, Inc.
www.SirenPublishing.com
Letter to Readers
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COWBOY HEART
Bear County 2
LYNN HAGEN
Copyright © 2014
Chapter One
Jed parked his truck on the side of the gas station he’d just
purchased from the county. The place used to belong to Stork, but the
man had lost it due to owing so many back taxes. Leroy Mason, a
local attorney, had approached Jed about buying this place since he
and Jed went way back. Leroy had given Jed a heads-up before the
place actually went on sale.
He frowned when a small blue Nissan pulled into the station and
parked by the pumps. Jed wasn’t expecting anyone here. Hell, he’d
just gotten the keys today.
When Noah Cross climbed out of the car, Jed knew his day was
about to get complicated. Noah was a waiter at Pheasant Run Café
and had been after Jed for months about a date.
“Hey,” Noah said with a bright smile as he shoved his hands into
his back pockets. “Leroy told me you’d be here today.”
Jed was going to have to thank Leroy for having loose lips. “I’m
not ready for business yet. So if you need gas you’ll have to drive to
Burgenstine until I’m officially open.”
“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about.” Noah stuck a finger
in the air as if testing for wind direction, only the finger was directly
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in front of the man’s skinny chest and tilted sideways. “I have a
business proposition for you.”
Jed just bet the man did. He didn’t trust that easy smile one bit. He
gripped the keys in his hand a little harder as he shook his head. “I
think I’ve done enough business for one day.”
Noah hurried in front of Jed when Jed tried to walk around him.
The human held his hands up, stopping Jed from taking another step.
“Just hear me out.”
Jed tried not to inhale. Noah smelled like wildness and passion,
things he could never allow himself to indulge in. The human was
Jed’s ultimate temptation. He hardened his resolve, pushing away any
thoughts of indulging Noah in anything, let alone some proposition. “I
don’t have time for this.”
Noah’s eyes narrowed slightly as his shoulders stiffened in a
defiant way that had Jed’s pulse racing a little faster. “But you didn’t
even hear what I have to say.”
Noah was a sensual male who didn’t even know it. The man
seemed oblivious to what he was doing to Jed. It wasn’t easy turning
the man down. To his chagrin, Jed felt something strange stirring
inside of him whenever he laid eyes on the stunning man.
“Five minutes.” He shouldn’t even give Noah that much time. Not
when the man made Jed hungry in ways he didn’t even want to think
about.
Noah’s smile was so wicked that Jed couldn’t look away.
“I can help you get this place in order, and in exchange, you can
give me a job.” Noah looked pleased with himself as the sun reflected
off of the man’s pale-blue eyes.
“Not a chance.” Jed was not going to have this little temptation
around him every single day. He’d never get any work done.
“Besides, you already have a job.”
Noah chuckled and Jed felt the stroke of laughter deep inside
where no one should have been able to reach. Without conscious
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9
intent, Jed found himself moving closer. He ground his teeth when he
realized what he was doing and then took a few steps back.
“I have a job as a waiter, but my dad taught me a lot about cars. I
could be a big help around here. All I’m asking is that you give me a
chance, Jed.”
Jed turned away at the sound of his name on the man’s lips, but
not before he saw the hopeful look on Noah’s face. Jed felt himself
nodding faintly before he caught what he was doing. “I don’t need
any help, Noah.”
“But you do,” Noah argued. “I’ve seen how busy this place can
get. There’s no way you can keep up all by yourself.” Noah placed his
hand on Jed’s arm and the one touch set Jed’s blood on fire. “Please,
just give me a chance.”
A flash of memory scorched through Jed’s mind. He was
propelled momentarily back into time, to a place he didn’t want to go,
a place he never wanted to be again. Jed had sworn to himself that he
would never allow anyone to get close to him again, not like that. Not
in an intimate way. Having his heart ripped out once was enough to
last him a lifetime.
Jed gazed at the locker in front of him, standing there feeling so
alone he wanted to hurt something.
“It’s over, Jed,” Morse said, his teeth gritted together as a look of
hate filled his eyes. “The military is my life and I can’t be seen
hanging around you or risk being caught having sex with you.”
“The policy has changed,” Jed argued, feeling as if his life was
ending with Morse’s bitter words. They only had six more months
before their tour ended and Morse had promised him that they
wouldn’t have to hide their relationship once they were free of the
military.
The guy had never told Jed he planned on reenlisting.
Morse snarled his next words at Jed and it was a look of pure
contempt that he knew would be scorched into his memory forever.
“You think that matters? Just because policy has changed doesn’t
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mean a gay man will be accepted any more than they were before.”
Morse took a step back, his expression icy. “Beside, I’ve started
dating Private Brendon.”
“Linda?” Morse could have beat the crap out of Jed and it would
have hurt less. “But you’re gay.”
“Not anymore,” he declared. “Not while I’m in the service.”
“You promised,” Jed argued.
“Yeah, well, you need to be more careful who you give your heart
to,” Morse bit out. “Next time you just might get it crushed.”
That had already happened. Jed had loved Morse with all his
heart, and now the man was turning his back on Jed, crushing the
love he felt for the man under his boot into a fine powder of despair.
Jed shook himself from the memory. He’d fallen for Morse like
his heart was a mob informant and Morse was the East River.
Fatal.
“I swear I won’t get in your way and I’ll do whatever you ask.”
Noah continued to plead his case. Noah’s tone, that whispery brush of
velvet, slipped inside Jed and wreaked havoc with every nerve
ending.
“One week,” Jed found himself saying. “I’ll give you one week to
prove to me you know what you’re doing.”
Noah’s smile was bright as he ducked his head and moved away
from Jed. “Thanks. I promise that you won’t regret this.”
Jed was already regretting his decision. When Noah’s head came
up, he was wearing a wry half smile. A growl rose up in Jed’s throat
as arousal caught him in a vicious grip and shook him hard.
“I can help you today, right now if you’d like.” The man’s scent
once again swept over Jed, making his bear want to break free and
fuck this human. He knew it was dangerous to be around Noah. That
was one of the reasons Jed had avoided the man as much as he could.
Now that Harland’s mate, Dresden, lived at the Triple-B ranch, there
was no reason to go into town to eat at the local diner.
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11
When Dresden had taken on the job of cooking for the ranch, Jed
had been relieved that he’d no longer have to face Noah. But now the
man was going to be around him for at least eight hours a day. He still
didn’t know why he had agreed to this. Jed would have been much
better off telling the guy no.
So why hadn’t he?
Jed should have been frightened by his need for Noah, a need so
deep it was overpowering. He cleared his throat, his fingers gripping
the keys in his hand until it hurt. Without a word, he turned and
walked away, opening his shop for the very first time.
Noah was on his heels, but didn’t say anything. They stepped into
the shop together and Jed instantly remembered the last time he’d set
foot inside—the day Stork had kidnapped Jed’s nephew, Markey, and
brought the toddler here.
“This place has promise.” Noah moved past Jed and walked
through the two-car service area. “Stork should have used this space
to its full potential.” Something indiscernible flashed in Noah’s pale-
blue eyes. “He shouldn’t have let go of something that could have
been great.”
Jed opened his mouth to tell Noah that this wasn’t going to work.
But when he parted his lips, the words wouldn’t come out. He just
stood there in the middle of the bay, staring at what he knew was
going to be his ultimate downfall.
* * * *
Noah was covered in grime as he hauled another load of trash to
the large metal bin that Jed had rented. When he had offered to help
the man get this place together, he hadn’t had a clue that there would
be so much work that needed to be done.
It was amazing how much junk fit into this building. Noah had
been working for four solid days and it didn’t seem like he was
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Lynn Hagen
making a dent in the endless crap that should have been thrown out
decades ago.
But the job had its perks. Like the chance to see Jedediah Gibbs
work with his shirt off. The man was hairy as a bear and had muscles
Noah couldn’t seem to tear his eyes away from. It was a bit
disconcerting how distracted he was most of the time. Noah had been
attracted to Jed since first laying eyes on the man, but damn, he hadn’t
known just how powerful the attraction was until he’d started
spending a good eight hours a day around Jed.
To his dismay, Jed hardly spoke or looked at him. Noah had asked
for this job not only because he didn’t want to wait tables for the rest
of his life, but also to be near the man he was infatuated with. But like
every other time he’d been around the guy, Jed practically ignored
him.
It had been the same way when Jed came to the diner. The man
would order dinner, but after that, he would only give Noah one- or
two-word answers when Noah tried to strike up a conversation. It was
like trying to pull teeth from a lion.
Bryson Duran was here today, helping Jed with some of the
heavier things that needed to be done. Jed was giving this place a
complete facelift, installing more up-to-date equipment. If Noah
hadn’t already fallen in lust with Jed, Bryson would have been a damn
good choice. The man was built like a damn ox and was handsome to
boot.
But Noah’s sights were set on a man he was starting to think was
unobtainable. If Noah’s confidence wasn’t so strong, he would have
given up a long time ago. But he was determined to find a chink in the
man’s armor.
“Hey, squirt,” Bryson said as he walked out back where Noah was
working. His grey eyes blazed with mirth as an easy smile crossed his
face. “Jed cracking that whip too hard?”
“Nah,” Noah admitted as he tossed some scrap metal into the
Dumpster. His body ached all over but he wasn’t going to admit that
Lynn Hagen
13
he’d bitten off more than he could chew. Noah was going to get this
place cleaned up and prove to Jed that he could handle working here.
Besides, all the heavy lifting was doing wonders to his normally
toneless body. “I like working outdoors.”
Bryson cupped a hand over his eyes as he glanced up at the sky.
“Sun’s beating down on us today. Make sure you stay hydrated.”
It was true. The heat index had reached well into the nineties, and
it felt like a brick oven out here. Noah had been hoping for some kind
of wind, but so far, nada.
“I will.” He grabbed the bandana from his back pocket and wiped
it across his face. He winced when he felt the sting and knew he was
beet red from working out here. Having a pale complexion didn’t
help. Noah had never tanned, no matter how much time he spent
outdoors. But he wasn’t going to complain.
“You might want to consider some sunscreen.” Bryson nodded
toward Noah, his smile slipping as concern filled his eyes. “You’re
bright red.”
“I’ll wear some tomorrow.” Noah held his breath when Jed
walked outside. The man had replaced his tan cowboy hat with a
dark-blue bandana and he looked good enough to eat. The guy was
mouthwatering as Noah gazed at the muscles of Jed’s arms.
Jedediah Gibbs was sex on two legs. He was the ultimate male, so
brawny and solid. He was built in perfect proportions, thick and
ripped. Broad shoulders tapered down to a narrow waist and he had
the finest ass Noah had ever seen on a guy. Nicely rounded and tight,
curving the back of his jeans like a dream.
Bryson gave a low chuckle as he nudged Noah’s arm with his
elbow. “Watch out, he just might catch you staring at him.”
“I hope so.” Noah winked at Bryson before going back to what
he’d been doing. “But I doubt it,” he mumbled under his breath.
Catching Jed’s attention was like trying to catch rain with a
bottomless bucket.
Impossible.
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Lynn Hagen
“Don’t give up,” Bryson replied before heading over to where Jed
was clearing a pile of cinder blocks. Noah had no intention of giving
up. But he wasn’t sure how much more of a beating his ego could
take.
“Go grab some lunch,” Jed hollered over to him without glancing
Noah’s way. He was ready to take one of the cinder blocks and whap
Jed over the head. Maybe that would knock the man’s stubbornness
loose.
Noah stepped inside the air-conditioned shop and breathed a sigh
of relief. The cool air felt good against his sunburned skin. He
grabbed his bagged lunch from the used fridge Jed had purchased.
Taking a seat on the steps that led to the office upstairs, Noah ate
his sandwich as he stared out the window, watching Jed and Bryson
toss the cinder blocks into the Dumpster.
Jed’s muscles flexed as he worked.
Noah’s cock jerked as he watched.
Ugh. He needed to stop thinking about what he wanted to do to
that man. At least while he had no way to relieve the painful throb
between his legs. Noah finished his lunch, never once taking his eyes
off of Jed.
As Noah stood to throw his trash away, Jed turned and gazed at
the window Noah had been staring out of. He wasn’t sure if the guy
could see him since the sun was so bright outside, but Noah could
have sworn the man looked right at him.
And what he saw was a look of yearning so deep that the
expression rocked Noah to his core.
* * * *
The following day, Noah had some help…sort of. Clayton
Calabria had come into the shop and Jed had put the man to work
helping Noah. But all Clayton seemed to be doing was picking things
up, looking at them, then setting the items aside. Noah found the man
Lynn Hagen
15
was good company—even if he hadn’t done much of anything all
morning. At least now Noah had someone to talk to.
“What made you decide to be a mechanic instead of waiting
tables?” Clayton asked. Noah watched as the guy played with the
lever to the lift. Noah was working inside today and he suspected that
Bryson had something to do with that. It might be the fact that Noah’s
face was red as a beet from working in the sun for four days.
But secretly, Noah was hoping that Jed had been concerned and
had made the call himself. He just wasn’t going to hold his breath
about it. “I’ve been working on engines since I was about twelve. I
like it a lot better than handing out food.”
Clayton crossed his arms over his chest as he eyed Noah critically.
“You don’t look like a mechanic.”
“You don’t look like a cowboy,” Noah countered. “You look
more like an Italian playboy.”
The grin on Clayton’s face was mischievous. “Why, thank you.”
Noah rolled his eyes. He hadn’t meant that as a compliment. But it
seemed Clayton wasn’t easily insulted. The man’s demeanor
reminded Noah of an oversized kid. “I got work to do.”
Jed planned on opening in five days and this place wasn’t
anywhere near ready. Just what in the hell had Stork used this garage
for, storage? There were so many things here that should have been
thrown out eons ago that Noah felt as if he’d never get this place
ready in time.
Clayton went back to playing with the lever to the lift. The
hydraulics were loud in the bay and starting to get on Noah’s nerves.
But Clayton was acting as if he’d found a new toy, and from the
expression on the guy’s face, he had.
“If you break it, you buy it,” Jed said as he came into the shop.
Noah tried his best not to outright stare at the guy, but it was hard
when Jed looked so damn good. The building suddenly became ten
degrees hotter as Jed made his way upstairs to the office.
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Lynn Hagen
“You got the hots for him,” Clayton teased. “I’d know that goofy
look anywhere. Harland still wears it whenever Dresden is around.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” The last thing Noah
wanted was for Clayton to tease him. Although this brand of
bantering was better than what Noah had gone through in high school.
He’d come out and had gotten his ass kicked every day thereafter. He
knew Clayton wasn’t being malicious. The guy didn’t seem to have a
mean bone in his body.
Clayton held up his hands. “Hey, I don’t care. I was just pointing
out that goofy look on your face.”
Noah quirked a brow. “Aren’t you supposed to be doing some
kind of work around here?”
“I am,” Clayton defended. “I’m keeping you company. Besides,”
Clayton continued, “I can’t get dirty. Me and the brat are going out
for ice cream this afternoon.”
“The brat?”
“My nephew, Markey,” Clayton explained and Noah could see
pride in the man’s obsidian eyes. “Cutest kid in the world.”
Noah had seen Dresden with the toddler before. They’d come into
the diner with Stork. He just hadn’t known the boy was Dresden’s
son. But ever since Dresden had moved into the Triple-B ranch, Noah
hadn’t seen the guy around town.
Must be nice to find someone like Harland Macy. Noah wished
Jed would get the stick out of his ass and notice him. Craving
someone wasn’t fun when the feeling wasn’t mutual. It was as
torturous as his sunburn.
“You should come down to the Ugly Broad. I bought into the
business when Jed sold his half.” Clayton winked at him. “There are
some really nice-looking men who come in there.”
“I’ll think about it.” Why not? Noah had a feeling his balls would
shrivel up before Jed even looked his way—if he ever did. Why not
go out and have some fun?
Lynn Hagen
17
“We got wing night on Friday,” Clayton said. “All you can eat for
five bucks.”
Noah chuckled. “You drive a hard bargain. I’ll be there.”
“Sweet.” Clayton glanced up toward the office. “I’m gonna head
out. Don’t tell Jed I left early.”
Noah watched the man slip out the front door before he went back
to work. He filled the large trash can before wheeling it outside to
dump the contents. The day was hot as hell and the heat hit him as
soon as he stepped outside. Noah paused for a moment, staring off
into the woods behind the garage. He knew that once all the junk was
cleared away, the view back here would be stunning.
“You can take your lunch break.”
Noah squeaked as he jumped. He hadn’t expected Jed to come
outside, and the man had scared the shit out of him. Jed stood there
frowning. “You caught me off guard.”
“I’m going to be working upstairs for the rest of the day,” Jed
said, ignoring Noah’s comment. “If you need anything, just come up
there.”
Oh, that was a loaded statement. Noah wanted to tell the cowboy
that he needed a good fucking, but he highly doubted Jed would give
him that. The man was as friendly as a bear in hibernation.
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Lynn Hagen
Chapter Two
Noah pulled into Lamont’s Trailer Heaven and parked his blue
Nissan in the space next to a broken-down old Chevy with a taped-up
side window that looked as if it had been abandoned here for years.
No matter how much he complained to management, Lamont didn’t
do a damn thing about the eyesore.
He cut the motor of his car and stared at his trailer while gritting
his teeth.
Buck Buchanan and his buddies were hanging out in front of
Noah’s house. The man had been a menace Noah’s entire life and he
wished the guy would find a new hobby besides selling drugs and
getting plastered every damn night.
What a waste of life.
“Wuz up?” Buck gave Noah a crooked smile that showed off his
chipped front tooth. The last thing he wanted was to have a
conversation with Buck. Noah tried his best to keep to himself around
here. It was best that way, and no one knew your business if you
didn’t hang out with the local losers. He gave Buck a tight smile as he
walked around the group of men, heading for his front door.
“I got some shit you can try out for free,” Buck called to him.
Noah grimaced as he moved a little faster. Too bad he didn’t make it
that far. One of Buck’s boys was standing by Noah’s front door,
chewing on a toothpick.
The temptation to call the cops was strong, but Noah didn’t want
that kind of trouble. If the cops showed up, Buck would know it was
Noah who called.
Lynn Hagen
19
“Evening,” Devil said as he tipped his head in Noah’s direction.
This guy scared Noah more than Buck did. Devil was too quiet, too
observant. The man mostly stayed in the shadows while Buck was
loud and obnoxious. Noah would rather cross Satan than this guy.
“Excuse me.” Noah moved to the left and then opened the screen
door. He unlocked it as fast as he could before stepping into his pitch-
black house. Eerie. After closing and locking the door, Noah could
still hear the ruckus outside. It seemed his trailer was the hangout for
tonight.
Sleep wasn’t going to happen tonight. Noah was going to be up
with the night-jitters. It happened in this kind of neighborhood. The
elderly residents had bars on their windows to give them some peace
of mind. Noah didn’t. No one had been safe since those drug dealers
started infesting this park. Which was a shame considering it used to
be a really nice place to live.
He forwent the light, making his way in the dark house. Noah
didn’t want Buck or Devil to think the light was an invitation to come
inside and party. When Noah got to his bedroom, he froze.
The back window was open.
As he stood there, he caught the faint scent of cheap aftershave
and beer. Noah didn’t wear aftershave. His skin was too sensitive.
Fuck, how he wished he could afford to move. But the trailer was
cheap and the other housing around Bear County was not. His dad
still lived on the other side of the park, but Noah wasn’t going to
disturb the guy. His father was getting up there in age and wouldn’t
be able to handle Buck and his cohorts.
And absolutely no one called the police. For some strange reason,
Buck always found out who ratted on him. Noah suspected Deputy
Dunham tipped the guy off. Buck and Dunham had run together back
in high school.
Noah checked his bedroom and then the rest of the place, but he
didn’t see anyone there. He closed his bedroom window and
wondered who had been inside his home.
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Lynn Hagen
Too tired to sit there and imagine the worst-case scenarios, Noah
kicked off his shoes only to realize he’d left his cell phone in his car.
If he didn’t go out there and retrieve it from the passenger seat, it
wouldn’t be there in the morning and he’d have a broken window.
After putting his shoes back on, Noah grabbed his keys off the
counter and took in a deep and steady breath before going outside.
Devil was no longer standing by his door and he didn’t see Buck
anywhere.
Hurry.
Noah moved like a criminal on the run, racing to his car. He
managed to grab his phone—thankfully it was still there—and hurry
back toward the door.
He paused when he heard someone crying out for help. Noah
knew he should get back inside. It was none of his business. But the
cries continued, eating at Noah’s conscience.
Stepping into the shadows, he spotted Devil standing over some
guy, a gun to the stranger’s head. Noah gripped his keys tightly in his
hand, praying the drug dealer couldn’t hear him breathing. If he
moved now, Devil would see him.
“Get in the fucking trunk,” Devil said in a low, menacing tone that
made even Noah want to comply.
“But I didn’t steal from you,” the stranger pleaded while on his
knees. “I swear, Devil. It wasn’t me.”
Noah smashed a hand over his mouth when Devil raised the gun
and slammed it down over the man’s head. The drug dealer nodded to
someone Noah hadn’t even seen standing there.
Devil’s lackey grabbed the limp body and hoisted it into the open
trunk, closing the lid with a light click. Before the two men got into
the car to take off, Devil turned his head and looked directly at Noah.
* * * *
Lynn Hagen
21
“It’s looking good,” Jed said as he glanced around at the progress
Noah was making. Truth be told, he’d come out of his office because
the human’s scent was unnerving him. Jed kept telling himself he
wasn’t interested in the slim guy, yet here he stood, inhaling wildness
and passion.
It was becoming his favorite damn fragrance.
It disturbed him how much the scent called to him. Yet he
couldn’t seem to stay away from Noah.
“Thanks.” Normally, Noah would have a big, pleased smile on his
face. Instead, he appeared distracted. He’d been that way all morning.
Jed wasn’t sure what was going on with the guy, and he didn’t want to
know. It was none of his business.
Besides, the grand opening was in a few days and there was still a
ton of things to do. Jed’s appointment sheet was already booked solid
for the next two months and he was catching slack on some of the
parts he’d ordered. He was running into delays that just might cost
him.
For the rest of the workday, Jed found reasons to be around Noah.
He kept telling himself that the guy was his employee now, hoping
that fact dissuaded him.
It hadn’t.
To his dismay, the harder he fought to stay away, the more
attracted he was to Noah. He needed his head examined. Jed didn’t
have room in his life for romance. Love was for suckers. He’d learned
that the hard way.
By the time the workday ended, he was so wound up that he was
ready to snap. All Jed wanted was to get away. All his bear wanted
was to curl around Noah and rub his scent all over the man.
He’d known from the start that hiring Noah was a bad idea. Jed
just hadn’t known it would be pure torture. He stayed in his office
until Noah left for the day. Once the human was gone, Jed came
downstairs and paused on the bottom step. He inhaled deeply at the
lingering scent of Noah before mentally kicking himself in the ass.
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Lynn Hagen
Jed closed up shop and headed home. But that’s not where he
ended up. He found himself going to the Ugly Broad for a drink. Even
though he wasn’t part owner any longer, Harland didn’t make him
pay for his drinks.
“How’s Noah working out?” Harland asked as he filled a mug
with beer and handed it off to someone waiting by the bar.
“He’s a hard worker,” Jed admitted. “Works the full eight hours
without slacking off.”
“That’s a good thing,” Harland said.
If only Jed could stop lusting after the man, things would be
perfect. But as much as he told himself that he wasn’t interested in
getting to know the human, his actions suggested otherwise. He felt
like an idiot for continually seeking Noah out.
What really bothered him, though, was the way Noah had been
quiet all day. It wasn’t like the guy. Normally the human was cheery
and all smiles. But today he had been reticent and reserved.
“How’s business going?” he asked when Harland slid him another
beer.
“Kinda busy,” Harland said. The sounds in the bar grew louder as
more people wandered inside. Jed recognized a lot of the customers,
some he didn’t. But everyone looked as if they were having a good
time. “I’m waiting on Bryson to get here so I can go home.”
Jed chuckled. “How’s the mated life?”
Harland and Dresden had had a private ceremony in the backyard
a few weeks ago. Although they didn’t have to marry—bears mated
instead—it was something Harland had his heart set on. Their vows
were amazing and the reception was fantastic.
Harland shook his head. “It’s amazing. I never knew I could love
someone so much. And the kids…” Harland was grinning from ear to
ear. “I wouldn’t trade Markey and Austin for all the sweets in the
world.”
Lynn Hagen
23
Jed wished he could find something like that. He’d never seen
Harland so happy before. But Jed…He frowned. The truth hit him so
hard he nearly fell off his stool.
He was afraid. When it all boiled down, the truth was that Jed
feared letting anyone in. He had thought he had just soured toward the
notion of romance, but it was the fact of opening up and allowing
another person in again.
Maybe he needed to order something harder to drink. He didn’t
like admitting that Noah scared him. How could a human have him
this twisted up inside? It shouldn’t be this difficult to swear off love,
but Jed was finding it harder and harder to fight his attraction, and
that just pissed him off.
“Let me get a shot of vodka.”
Harland raised a brow, but didn’t say a word. Jed wasn’t the
heavy-drinking type. He mostly stayed with his beers. But
tonight…well, tonight called for denial.
Unfortunately, his bear thought otherwise. It wanted to hunt Noah
down and claim the man as its own.
When Harland set the shot glass in front of him, Jed didn’t
hesitate to knock the drink back, slam the glass down, and order
another. By the fifth drink, his old lover’s face began to appear. Jed
growled as he stared at the hallucination of Morse. The bastard.
He should have known he couldn’t trust the guy. Morse had been
buried so deep in the closet that it took a map to find the man. Yet Jed
had allowed himself to fall in love.
And where had that gotten him? A broken heart. He wasn’t sure if
Noah was the closeted type, but Jed refused to allow anyone near him
again. Fuck that. He’d had enough of that shit to last a lifetime.
After the tenth shot, Jed no longer cared. He decided right there
that Noah was nothing more than an employee and it was going to
stay that way.
No matter what his bear wanted.
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Lynn Hagen
* * * *
He wasn’t going to panic. Nope. Noah was going to act like he’d
never seen Devil and some goon shove a guy into the trunk of a car. It
was better for his health if he pretended he hadn’t been nosy.
“What’s eating you?” Jed asked the following morning. “You
seem a bit out of it.”
Noah glanced down to see that he was wiping the same spot and
had been doing so for the past five minutes. He couldn’t seem to
concentrate today. He’d gone home last night to find Devil a few
trailers down, watching him. Noah hadn’t been able to get a full
night’s sleep since witnessing the kidnapping and possible murder.
Who shoved someone in a trunk if they didn’t have diabolical
plans? He was pretty damn sure Devil hadn’t taken that guy out for
coffee. “Nothing.”
He stared into Jed’s steel-grey eyes for a moment before tossing
the rag aside. The place was almost in order. There were a few more
things that needed to be done, but other than that, the shop looked
great.
Noah forgot what he’d been thinking about when he realized Jed
had stayed put. The man hadn’t run off to his office, but was standing
there staring at Noah. His heart began to beat a little faster with Jed’s
close proximity. Something deep down in Noah craved for just one
touch of the man’s hand, one kiss, one whisper of acknowledgment
that Jed wanted him as much as he wanted the cowboy.
His throat grew dry as he moved a step closer. If Jed would just let
his guard down, then maybe Noah had a shot at this handsome,
rugged man. He was dying to run his fingers through Jed’s blondish-
brown hair, to feel the man’s light beard scrape against his skin.
It was just the two of them in the quiet shop. Bryson and Clayton
wouldn’t be coming in today. Noah was terrified to make the first
move. What if he was reading things wrong and Jed wasn’t standing
here staring at him with lust?
Lynn Hagen
25
He could be fired.
Was he willing to take that chance?
Hell yeah.
Noah purposefully reached for something behind Jed, making sure
their bodies touched. He heard the swift inhale of Jed’s breath, could
feel the heat coming off of the man. Noah sent up a prayer that he
wasn’t making the biggest mistake of his life when he brushed his
hand over Jed’s chest, as if trying to balance himself.
The man didn’t move.
Taking that as a good sign, Noah leaned back and then tilted his
head until he was looking into those gorgeous grey eyes. Jed’s jaw
was clenched tight, as if the man were fighting the attraction between
them.
At least Noah hoped there was some sort of mutual attraction.
He’d caught the way Jed had been finding excuses to be near him for
the past two days. He’d come looking for the stupidest things, like a
pencil to write with. Noah wasn’t dimwitted. He knew when a man
wanted him. But Jed had kept his distance, even when trying to get
close.
Maybe he was waiting to for Noah to make the first move.
Here goes everything.
Noah leaned up and brushed his lips over Jed’s. For a man who
had such a hard body, his lips were as soft as feathers, silky, smooth.
When Jed didn’t pull back, Noah dared to take the kiss just a bit
deeper. He licked his tongue over Jed’s bottom lip, leaned back just a
hair, and then moved in to plunge his tongue into the man’s mouth.
He gasped when Jed shoved him into the workbench, gripping
Noah’s hair and pulling it as he growled into Noah’s mouth. It was
the hottest damn noise Noah had ever heard.
Something clattered to the floor as Jed leaned Noah over the
bench, his tongue probing, their teeth clattering together. Noah
wanted to wrap his legs around the man’s waist and give Jed whatever
the hell the man wanted.
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Lynn Hagen
His blood was on fire and Noah felt dizzy. Jed’s scent was
masculine, exhilarating, and downright sexy. Noah pulled at the
man’s shirt, wanting Jed even closer.
Too bad they weren’t naked.
But to his disappointment, Jed pulled back. He gazed into Noah’s
eyes before he turned on his heel and walked upstairs, leaving Noah
panting and so horny he was ready to scream his frustration.
He heard the man curse before slamming his office door shut.
“Well, that worked out just dandy.”
Noah was kicking himself by the time he left work and headed
home. But his lips tingled in remembrance of that explosive kiss.
He wanted more.
Parking his car outside his trailer, Noah made sure he had his cell
phone before he glanced around. Devil was nowhere in sight.
When Noah stepped into his home, he felt his world shift
sideways. The place was in shambles. Things were knocked over,
broken, and torn apart.
A foreboding shiver raced down his spine. In all the years he’d
lived here, never once had he come home to anything close to this
chaotic mess. Was this a warning? Was Devil trying to tell him
something? It couldn’t be anyone other than the drug dealer. As far as
he knew, no one else held a grudge against him.
Walking through the wreckage, Noah felt his stomach twist into
knots. He wasn’t sure who had done this, Devil or one of his lackey’s,
but the meaning was loud and clear.
Keep your mouth shut about what you saw.
Lynn Hagen
27
Chapter Three
Jed leaned against the wall, sipping his morning cup of coffee as
he watched Markey wander around downstairs, calling for his dad. It
was something the toddler did on a regular basis and everyone had
grown used to the habit.
Dresden walked out of the kitchen, Austin tucked in his arms. “I
have no clue why he does that,” Dresden said.
Jed glanced at the bundle in the man’s arms and a deep yearning
took hold of him, shaking him in ways he never expected. Suddenly,
he had a picture in his head of Noah doing the same thing, holding
their child.
Taking another sip of his coffee, Jed tried to erase the image in his
mind, but it wouldn’t be so easily dismissed. Maybe he shouldn’t
fight this. There was a possibility that Noah wouldn’t crush his heart.
But just the thought of going through that shit again made Jed curl his
lip.
Harland walked down the stairs and enveloped Dresden in a
gentle hug, kissing his mate on the temple. Jed had to get out of here.
He didn’t want to see what he would never have. The love he felt
coming from these two was a just too much to bear.
Markey turned and spotted Jed first. The bright smile was enough
to melt Jed’s heart. He loved little Markey. The kid had a way of
growing on you. He ruffled Markey’s blond strands as he headed out
the door. Once outside on the porch, Jed hesitated.
He thought about the kiss he’d shared with Noah. It had been the
most toe-curling kiss he’d ever had. Everything in him had wanted to
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Lynn Hagen
strip the human naked and fuck the man until he couldn’t walk
straight.
But his old fear had reared its head and Jed had backed off. He
would never tell anyone that he’d jacked off to the image last night. It
was the hottest fantasy he’d had in a long time.
Which was going to make his day too damn long. Being around
Noah was proving harder than he’d anticipated. The man appealed to
him on so many different levels that it was hard to concentrate at
work.
But he had a business to run.
Jed drove to the gas station, reminding himself once again that
Noah was nothing more than an employee. When he pulled into the
station, Jed’s lips parted as his stomach clenched.
There, on the outside wall of the building, was the word snitch
spray-painted in dark red. He came to a stop and just stared at the
word. He couldn’t understand why someone would do something like
this. Especially after he’d spent all that money to have someone come
out and give the place a facelift. The new paint job was ruined.
Jed slammed the gearshift into park and got out, glancing around
as if the hoodlum would still be around, paint can in hand. As he
walked closer, his anger mounted.
He turned when Noah pulled into the station, parking next to Jed’s
truck. The man gaped out his windshield at the scrawling on the
building. He could see that Noah was just as shocked to see the
vandalism.
“Who the hell would do something like this?” Jed asked when
Noah got out of his car. Jed removed his Stetson, scratching at his
head. He knew one thing for sure. He was calling the cops.
He was going to get cameras for his station, too. The damage
proved that he needed them.
“Stay out here while I check inside,” he said to Noah before
entering the station. Everything looked to be in order. No one had
gotten inside. Jed pulled his cell phone free and called the sheriff.
Lynn Hagen
29
“I’m already out your way. I shouldn’t be but a few minutes,”
Sheriff Zackary Sparrow said. “Don’t touch anything until I have a
look at things.”
Jed slid his phone back into his pocket before joining Noah
outside. The human was just standing there, looking a bit pale as he
gazed at the single word. Jed wondered if Noah’s recent mood change
had anything to do with this.
“I’ll get some scrub brushes.” Noah began to walk toward the
building, but Jed stopped him. He gazed into the man’s pale-blue
eyes, trying to get some kind of read on the guy.
“Do you know who did this?”
Noah wouldn’t look at Jed. His eyes bounced everywhere and Jed
got the feeling that Noah knew something. “Do you?”
“I didn’t tell anyone,” Noah whispered.
Before Jed could ask what Noah was talking about, the sheriff
pulled in by the pumps. Noah curled his fingers around Jed’s wrist.
“Please, don’t say anything to the sheriff.”
“We’re not done talking about this.” Jed pulled out of Noah’s
grasp before meeting the sheriff at his car. He didn’t want to lie to the
sheriff, but he couldn’t get the panicked look in Noah’s eyes out of
his mind.
As soon as he filed the report, Jed was going to get some answers.
* * * *
This didn’t make any sense. Noah hadn’t said a word to anyone
about what he’d seen. As he paced Jed’s office, all sorts of terrifying
things went through his mind. Why would Devil do this if Noah
hadn’t told anyone? Would Noah end up in the man’s trunk as well?
His nerves were drawn tight by the time Jed walked in. The man
looked seven kinds of pissed and Noah didn’t blame him one bit. But
this wasn’t Noah’s fault either. He hadn’t done anything wrong except
witness what Devil was capable of.
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Lynn Hagen
Jed tossed his hat onto the desk and took a seat, running his hand
over his jaw before sitting back. He stared at Noah with that tenebrous
expression he sometimes wore. Noah had an insane urge to throw
himself at Jed’s feet and beg for mercy.
“Okay, the sheriff is taken care of. Now, would you mind telling
me what’s going on?”
Noah opened his mouth and then closed it, unsure of what to say.
He worried that if he said a word, Devil would hunt him down and do
unspeakable things to him. He knew it was ridiculous. There was no
way Devil could see or hear him right now, but the fear had him
panicking. “I don’t know.”
Jed’s fist slammed on the desk, making things jump—including
Noah. “Goddamn it, Noah! I want to know why someone spray-
painted the word snitch on my station.”
If he didn’t tell Jed, Noah had a feeling he’d be fired. But if he
did, what Devil would do was a lot worse. Noah felt trapped. He
wished he could go back to that fateful night and just go inside instead
of being nosy. “I can’t tell you.”
Jed stood, pressing the palms of his hands into the desk. “Is
someone threatening you?”
In a roundabout way. His place had been broken into and
destroyed and now this. There was no doubt in Noah’s mind that
Devil was going to eventually come after him and stuff him in a
trunk. He swallowed hard, his body shaking slightly as he glanced
down at his shoes. “Can I just go out there and clean the mess up?”
“It’s going to take more than scrubbing, Noah. I’m going to have
to have that area repainted.”
“You can deduct the cost from my pay.” Noah was praying like
hell that Jed didn’t fire him. He not only needed this job, but for some
strange reason, he felt safe around the cowboy. Noah couldn’t explain
why, but he did.
Lynn Hagen
31
“That’s not the point, Noah. I want to know what’s going on with
you. For the past few days you haven’t been acting like yourself. If
someone is messing with you, just tell me.”
Noah suddenly had an image of Devil shoving Jed in a trunk and
it was enough to make an ice-cold chill run down his spine. He didn’t
want to get Jed involved in this. What if Devil killed the guy? Noah
fisted his hands under his armpits, wishing he’d stayed in bed this
morning.
“Noah.”
“If I tell you, then that person might come after you,” he finally
answered. “I can’t live with that, Jed.”
Jed frowned as he walked around the desk, stopping right in front
of Noah. “Don’t worry about me. I can handle myself. It’s you I’m
worried about.”
Under any other circumstances, those words would have thrilled
Noah. He’d been looking for some sort of sign that Jed was interested
in him. This might not be a declaration that Jed wanted to date, but it
was something. “I’ll be fine.”
“Why are you being so damn stubborn?” Jed demanded.
“I could ask you the same thing,” Noah retorted.
“What?”
Noah ran his hand through his hair as he took a step back, needing
the space. “I’ve been interested in you for a very long time, Jedediah
Gibbs. But you’ve ignored my flirting and turned a blind eye to me. I
don’t get you. One minute you’re distant, the next, we’re kissing
like—”
“That was a mistake.”
The man might as well have slapped Noah. The breath left his
lungs as he took another step back, the need to run from the office
overwhelming. The rejection shouldn’t have stung so deeply, but it
did. Noah wanted to lash out, to hurt Jed just as much as the man had
just hurt him.
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Lynn Hagen
But he couldn’t bring himself to do that. Noah never wanted to
hurt the man. The emotions surging through him confused Noah, but
he wasn’t going to purposely wound the guy. “It won’t happen again.”
“That’s not what I meant,” Jed said. “It’s just that—” Jed blew out
a long breath before turning away, giving Noah his back. Noah stood
there, waiting to hear what else the man had to say, but Jed remained
quiet.
“What is it?” Noah asked. “I like you and I’m pretty sure you like
me. I don’t get why you keep pushing me away.”
“It’s complicated,” Jed said.
“Then un-complicate it.” Noah started to approach Jed, but stayed
where he stood. If Jed was working things out in his head, Noah
didn’t want to stop the man from thinking through what he wanted to
say. But the silence was killing him.
“What do you want me to do?” Jed asked as he turned. “Stand
here and have a heart-to-heart talk with you?” The man asked like it
was the worst thought in the world, like he’d rather chew glass.
“No,” Noah replied. “I just want to know if there’s a chance of us
being together.”
“There’s not.” Jed grabbed his hat off of the desk and headed
toward the door. Noah just stood there. At least now he didn’t have to
tell Jed about Devil. But the man’s departure left Noah with even
more questions about why Jed kept pushing him away.
Noah was determined to crack that shell and unearth the many
layers of Jedediah Gibbs. Even if he had to beat the man over the head
in the process.
* * * *
Noah wasn’t ready to go home, so he took Clayton up on his offer
of wing night. He parked his car in the lot and strode inside the tavern
to loud music and a large crowd. It seemed everyone wanted some
wings.
Lynn Hagen
33
He made his way to the bar, wiggling past the packed patrons who
stood there. How good were these wings? He waved his hand
repeatedly to get Clayton’s attention but the man was too busy at the
other end.
“Do you mind?” a stranger next to him asked, shoving Noah away
from the bar and back into the crowd. Noah gave a small growl and
tried to get back up to the counter. He used his arm to make a hole,
but the same guy was standing there, as if waiting for Noah to do just
that.
“I only want some wings,” Noah said.
“I don’t give a shit what you want,” the guy slurred and shoved
Noah so hard that Noah landed on his ass. Before he could get up and
show that bully that he wasn’t one to mess with, a strong hand pulled
him to his feet.
Noah’s heart started beating faster when he realized it was Jed
who was helping him. He hadn’t expected the man to be here, but
damn if he didn’t look good.
“What are you doing on the floor?”
Noah brushed himself off. “It’s not like I was lying down there on
purpose.” He shoved a finger at the drunk guy who had put him there.
“All I want is some wings but that asshole thinks he owns the place.”
The drunk guy turned as Jed approached and Noah could see the
stranger had been expecting him instead of a muscular cowboy. The
stranger blinked a few times and then moved aside. Noah snarled at
the bastard.
Jed reached behind and grabbed Noah’s arm, pulling him up to the
bar. The cowboy shoved his fingers into his mouth and let go of an
ear-piercing whistle.
Clayton turned and smiled.
At least now Noah knew how to get Clayton’s attention. Except
he couldn’t whistle like that. Maybe next time he’d bring an air horn
with him. “Thanks.”
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Lynn Hagen
Jed nodded as Clayton approached. “You came on a busy-ass
night,” Clayton said as he winked at Noah. “Looking for those
wings?”
Noah nodded. “I’ll take a dozen and a Coke.”
Clayton chuckled. “Coming right up. Go find a seat and I’ll bring
them to you.”
Noah turned to see there was nowhere to sit.
“Bring them outside,” Jed said before pulling Noah’s hand and
leading him through the crowd. When they stepped outside, Noah
could finally hear again. The coolness was a relief after the stifling
heat from the packed bodies inside. He kept walking, following
behind Jed until they reached the man’s truck.
Jed pulled the tailgate down and Noah hopped up on it, settling as
he gazed at the road in front of the Ugly Broad. The night was quiet
out here with just a small disruption from the bar inside. But it was a
hell of a lot more peaceful and he wasn’t sandwiched in by so many
people.
“I didn’t know you were coming,” Noah said as he swung his legs
back and forth, wondering what he and Jed should talk about. He
wasn’t going to tell the man about Devil and he knew Jed wasn’t
going to tell him why he kept pushing Noah away.
“I saw you heading this way,” Jed said. The admission stunned
Noah. He had thought Jed would find some lame excuse for being
here, but the man had been honest. Points for the cowboy.
“Wanted to steal my wings,” Noah teased as he smiled at the
rugged man. “Not going to happen. I fought sharks and choppy waters
to secure those things.”
Noah frowned when Jed leaned in and inhaled deeply. Did he
stink? Noah lifted his arm and sniffed, but he didn’t have an offending
odor.
“Don’t want your wings.”
Lynn Hagen
35
“Then what do you want?” Noah licked his lips, praying he got
another one of those toe-curling kisses. He could feel the tension
between them and wondered why Jed had come after him.
“Nothing complicated,” Jed said.
“It doesn’t have to be complicated,” Noah replied. “Just two guys
having some fun.” Although Noah wanted more than just fun. He’d
been after Jed for so long that his feelings were changing and he’d
started fantasizing about what it would be like to belong to this man.
But Jed didn’t want to hear that. The cowboy was looking for a good
time, no strings attached. He could tell by the way the guy was
looking at him.
The noise level from the bar heightened and then died as the door
was opened and then closed, which told Noah that Clayton was
heading their way.
“Here you go.” Clayton appeared and handed Noah the basket of
wings he’d ordered and the Styrofoam cup of soda. He glanced
between Noah and Jed and then smiled. “I’m outta here. Have fun,
fellas.”
Noah wished.
He ate three wings and then offered Jed one. To his surprise, Jed
took it. They shared the meal and the soda, neither saying a word until
the last wing was eaten.
“That hit the spot.” Noah wiped his hands and mouth on the Wet-
Nap Clayton had included in the basket.
Jed didn’t reply. He scooted the basket and cup aside before
leaning over and cupping Noah’s jaw. Noah had seconds to suck in
some air before Jed began to kiss him. Lust instantly shot through his
body as the cowboy began to lower him to the truck bed.
Noah didn’t protest them being outside where anyone could see
them. He wouldn’t have cared if they were in the middle of the bar
floor. This was what he’d been waiting for and he wasn’t going to
pass the opportunity up.
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Lynn Hagen
“I want you, Noah.” Jed pulled back, his hand going down to the
snap of Noah’s pants. Noah was hard as hell, aching for Jed to give
him some relief. He just hoped that his heart wouldn’t be crushed
when this little fling was over.
Lynn Hagen
37
Chapter Four
Jed tried to convince himself that he could have sex with Noah
without getting his feelings involved. He’d told himself this as he
watched the human drive toward the bar. He had hung around the
station after he’d left, just to see where Noah would go.
Stalking? Maybe. But he was determined to prove to himself that
he could have uncomplicated sex with the guy, no strings attached.
He’d had plenty of sex before without getting romantically involved.
Why should this be any different? A quick roll in the hay, that’s all.
Jed pulled them further up the truck bed until they were
completely inside before unsnapping Noah’s pants. The human was
responsive, moaning as he kissed Jed more deeply.
This was what Jed wanted. Sex. That was it. Nothing more. But
his bear was growling in approval as Jed freed Noah’s cock and then
moved lower until he could suck the hard cock into his mouth. As he
licked the steel shaft, he worked Noah’s pants down the man’s legs
until the material was gathered at the guy’s ankles.
Jed hummed around the erection as he palmed the man’s sac, his
own cock so hard that he felt like he was going to explode. That scent.
Once again the aroma of wildness and passion filled him and Jed’s
canines threatened to elongate. Noah tasted even better than Jed had
imagined he would. It was a mixture of salty and tangy, a bitter
combination that had him salivating for more.
Noah’s hands clamped down on Jed’s head, his fingers combing
through the short strands of hair as Jed swallowed the man repeatedly.
He used his tongue to swirl around the hard cock, licking at the head
to draw in the pre-cum.
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Lynn Hagen
“Not like this,” Noah begged breathlessly as he pushed at Jed’s
head. “Fuck me, Jed. Please.”
Without a word, Jed flipped Noah to his hands and knees and then
pulled his own cock free. He took a packet of lube out of his front
pocket—he’d been hoping for something like this—and lathered his
dick. He shoved his lubed fingers deep into Noah’s ass, scissoring
them as Noah cried out. The sound filled the night around them,
adding to the already-heated air. Thankfully the noise from the bar
would prevent anyone from hearing Noah.
But those sounds…
Jed fought not to care what the man felt. He fought not to care
how much pleasure he was bringing the guy or how much he truly
enjoyed making Noah cry out for him.
Jed just fought not to…
His eyes flickered to the bar to make sure no one came out.
Although he wanted Noah out here in the open, he wasn’t willing to
put on a show for everyone.
Noah lowered his shoulders to the bed and Jed smoothed his hand
up the man’s back. Flawless. God, what was he getting himself into?
Could he have sex with Noah and not feel anything toward the man?
Had he been fooling himself?
“Jed, please,” Noah began to beg once more. The man swiveled
his hips and threw his head back, letting out a deep groan. Jed was
momentarily mesmerized by the sight and sound. Noah was like a
siren, a wood nymph who was pulling Jed in deeper than he wanted to
go.
Removing his fingers, Jed positioned his cock and drove home—
trying his best to rid himself of the image, the feeling, the need to
have someone to call his own.
He stilled, panting at the tightness surrounding his cock. The urge
to slow down and be gentle with Noah consumed him, but Jed pushed
past those soft feelings and began a rhythm that had them both
Lynn Hagen
39
grunting and sweaty. He gripped the man’s hips, pounding into the
giving flesh as his canines began to grow.
Something inside him tried to reach out to Noah, but Jed wouldn’t
allow those feelings to emerge. This was just fucking. He wasn’t
going to care.
He couldn’t let that happen. His heart had already been torn to
shreds once in his life. Jed wasn’t going to give anyone else the
opportunity to hurt him again. But as he fucked Noah, Jed could feel
himself slowing, his moves becoming gentle. He leaned over the man,
kissing his shoulder, nipping at the human’s tender flesh.
Jed placed his arms on either side of Noah’s head and the human
entwined their fingers together. Jed couldn’t find it in himself to pull
away. He should. He really should. But he couldn’t.
“Jed,” Noah whispered. “God, Jed.”
Hearing his name on the man’s lips while he fucked the guy tore
at him. Jed closed his eyes, snapping his hips as he fought the
maelstrom of emotions raging through him.
Don’t you dare start caring about him. It will only lead to
heartache.
But Jed’s heart wasn’t listening and neither was his bear. Both
emotionally reached for the slim man, both wanting closer. Jed pulled
one hand free and slid it along Noah’s side until he reached the
human’s bobbing cock. He began to stroke the hard, heated flesh as
he thrust deeper into Noah.
Being inside Noah was like heaven. It was better than his damn
fantasy. Jed switched his rhythm and knew he was hitting the man’s
sweet spot when Noah began to cry out once more.
“So soft,” Jed whispered into the man’s ear as he started to rub his
scent over Noah. “Feels so damn good.”
He placed a kiss on the nape of Noah’s neck, feeling his chest
tighten. God help him, but Jed was finding it harder and harder to
keep his distance from this man.
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Lynn Hagen
Noah cried out, his cock and ass pulsing as he came. Jed gritted
his teeth at the tight clamp on his erection before he powered into
Noah, shouting as his body exploded and his mind shattered.
Jed slowed his movements, his heart beating so fast that he had to
gasp for air. He slid free, fastening his pants before helping Noah do
the same. The moment became awkward and Jed knew keeping things
purely sexual between them was going to be the hardest damn thing
he’d ever had to do.
* * * *
Noah had tried his best not to think about last night as he and Jed
opened the bay doors for the grand opening. Already the two bays had
cars in them and Noah was staying busy putting a new head gasket
into the car he was working on.
But his mind kept straying back to what he and Jed had done last
night. His boss hadn’t said a word to Noah, not about the sex at least.
He was acting as if it had never happened. Noah tried to tell himself it
was no big deal, but it hurt like hell that Jed could so easily dismiss
what they’d shared.
“Look at this place,” Bryson said as he strolled into the shop.
“You got it looking brand spanking new.”
“Cost a goddamn mint to get it up to date,” Jed replied as he
wiped his oily hands on the rag that had been tucked into his back
pocket. “But it was worth it.”
“Don’t forget we have some buyers coming by the ranch
tomorrow,” Bryson said. “We’ll need you there.”
Which meant Noah was going to be here by himself. He didn’t
mind. He knew he could take care of things while Jed sold off the
prize-winning sperm the Triple-B was known for. Noah just didn’t get
how anyone could run a stud ranch. Just the thought of how they
extracted that sperm made him shudder in revulsion.
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41
Noah pretended to be engrossed in his work when Bryson walked
over to him. He wasn’t sure why, but he felt like Bryson would be
able to see what Noah and Jed had done last night.
It was ridiculous, but he felt that way nonetheless. He could feel
the heat of a blush suffuse his skin.
Bryson chuckled, his voice low as he said, “From that blush, I
have a pretty good idea why Jed came in late last night.”
“You keeping tabs on him?” Noah asked as he continued to work.
“Hell no,” Bryson answered. “But the guy seemed to be in a
strange mood when he got home. You wouldn’t happen to know
why?”
“Not a clue.” Noah didn’t know Bryson all that well and he didn’t
kiss and tell. From the corner of his eye, he could see Jed watching
them. Was the man worried Noah would blab their business?
“That blush says otherwise.” Bryson leaned down until his arms
were resting on the car Noah was working on. “I hope you’re the right
guy for him. Jed needs someone who won’t back down.”
“What does that even mean?”
“Don’t take no for an answer,” Bryson said. “I mean, don’t try to
rape him, but…well, you know what I’m saying.”
Noah laughed. “You’ve got a way with words.”
Bryson was grinning from ear to ear and Noah had to admit the
man was very handsome. “I sometimes don’t know when to shut my
mouth.”
“No shit,” Jed said as he walked up behind them. “Leave my
employee alone so he can finish his work.”
His employee. Noah curled his fingers around the ratchet in his
hand, wanting to clobber Jed over the head with it. He could feel his
anger mounting but knew he had no right to get mad. Noah could
have told Jed no. He could have stopped what had happened last
night. But he had been so horny that only the earth breaking free of its
orbit would have stopped him from begging Jed to fuck him.
And he had begged.
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So what was he getting pissed for?
Because you care about him and want him to care as well.
That wasn’t going to happen. Not at the rate they were going. Jed
had slammed those walls back into place, keeping Noah out.
“Just chatting it up,” Bryson said. “No harm in that.”
“Tell Harland and Clayton that I’ll be there tomorrow,” Jed said
as he stood there. Noah knew the man wasn’t going to budge until
Bryson left. The muscle-bound man chuckled, shook his head, and
then walked out. Jed didn’t even look Noah’s way before he headed
back over to the truck he’d been working on.
Noah’s mood soured. He tackled his work with a vengeance,
telling himself that Jed didn’t mean a damn thing to him and that he
needed to get over his asinine crush.
Too bad his heart wasn’t listening.
By the end of their first real workday, Noah was exhausted. He’d
replaced a head gasket, done four oil jobs, replaced a fuel tank, and
had done a ball-joint job on a car that looked like it needed to go to
the scrapyard instead of back on the road.
“Good work,” Jed said as he closed the bay doors. “Can you
handle tomorrow without me?”
Noah snorted, his tone a bit catty. “I’m pretty sure I can survive
without you, boss.”
Jed eyed him for a moment and then nodded. “If you need
anything, just call the ranch.”
Noah left without saying a word. He was being a douche and he
knew it. Jed hadn’t promised him a damn thing last night yet Noah
couldn’t get over the hurt of the man’s distance today.
The least Jed could have said was that he’d had a good time last
night. Something. But he’d said nothing. Maybe working here hadn’t
been one of Noah’s more brilliant ideas. Being around Jed all day was
nothing but torture. He’d have been better off keeping his job as a
waiter. At least then he wouldn’t be near the man, smelling his damn
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43
cologne, wishing the guy would acknowledge him as more than his
employee.
Noah drove home, his anger still alive and his thoughts still on
Jed. By the time he pulled into the space by his trailer, it was dark out.
With his mind preoccupied with Jed, he didn’t notice that the door
wasn’t locked. He should have. That might have changed the
outcome.
But he hadn’t.
Noah walked into his place and felt for the light switch. When he
lifted the lever, nothing happened. This was the second time within a
week he’d lost power. It wasn’t uncommon in this park. The
transformer was constantly shorting. That’s what management told
him anyway.
Cursing, Noah felt his way to the back of his trailer. Even the
streetlights were out so he didn’t think anything of it. He had just a
sliver of light from the moon to work with.
Noah froze when he heard something click. He’d watched enough
movies to know that the sound was more than likely a gun being
cocked. He just prayed that he was wrong.
“It seems you need a lesson taught to you.”
Oh, god. Noah’s heart lodged in this throat at the sound of Devil’s
voice. He was here to kill Noah. He just knew it. Devil didn’t seem
the forgiving type and Noah was ready to faint as his knees knocked
together.
“I didn’t say anything.” Noah glanced around, but didn’t see the
man anywhere. It was too dark. But he could feel the man’s eyes on
him and smell the scent of expensive cologne clinging to the air. It
filled his nostrils and stung his lungs as he tried not to breathe it in,
tried not to breathe at all. That wasn’t a problem since Noah’s lungs
had frozen, the air trapped.
“That’s not what I heard,” Devil said.
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Someone grabbed Noah from behind and forced him onto his bed.
Noah shouted, but a rag was shoved into his mouth. He fought like
crazy, kicking and swinging his fists to no avail.
I’m going to die.
He was stripped naked before his arms and legs were pulled
spread-eagle and bound. Noah squeezed his eyes shut as his muscles
went rigid. He wasn’t sure what was about to happen to him, but it
wasn’t going to be anything pleasant.
If they’re going to kill me, please make it quick and as painless as
possible.
His eyes rounded and he arched his spine when a whip was
cracked across his back. He tried to scream, but the gag prevented any
noise from escaping.
The sound of his heartbeat thrashed in his ears as he was whipped
over and over again. His body convulsed as tears streamed down his
face. Noah began to hyperventilate as the whip struck him again. He
wanted to curl into a fetal position, to fall into a hole so these men
couldn’t hurt him anymore.
He cringed, flinched, shouted behind the gag, and cried for mercy.
But none came as his back felt as if it were being peeled open.
Eventually, the pain became too much and Noah passed out.
* * * *
“Mr. Beckham called,” Harland said as he stepped into the living
room where Jed was playing with Markey. “He said he had an eight
o’clock appointment, but there’s no one at the station.”
Jed frowned as he set the toddler aside. Noah was supposed to
open this morning. The human had reassured him that he could handle
things on his own. Jed grabbed the phone from Harland’s hand and
tried calling Noah’s cell, but it went straight to voice mail.
He knew he couldn’t leave. The buyers would be here any minute
and they wanted to talk to all four men who owned the ranch.
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45
But Jed had sunk a lot of money into that station. Although the
ranch was the more profitable business, he couldn’t allow Noah to
ruin him. He tossed the phone aside as he gritted his teeth. “I’ll be
back before the buyers get here.”
“We’ll cover for you,” Harland said, patting Austin’s back. The
baby was over the man’s shoulder and once again a longing began to
fill Jed. He pushed that feeling aside as he headed out the door. He
knew he had very little time and if Noah didn’t show up at the station,
he’d have to reschedule the appointments he had for today.
Jed drove faster than the speed limit allowed before pulling into
the station. There were three people waiting there but no sign of
Noah. Jed made his apologies and promised each person a discount as
he rescheduled them.
When thirty minutes passed and Noah still hadn’t shown up, Jed
headed to Lamont’s Trailer Heaven. He drove along the winding road,
noticing the dilapidated state most of the homes were in. There was a
section off to the right that still had decent homes, and Jed knew that
was where the elderly residents lived. The place was a cesspool of
drugs and drinking.
In the past five years, the place had been run down until it more
closely resembled a junkyard than the luxurious neighborhood the
place had once been. He spotted Noah’s car and pulled in beside it. At
least Noah’s home wasn’t in bad shape. Jed could tell the man had
tried his best to make his small yard look homey.
He climbed out of his truck and gazed around. There were a
couple men a few trailers down, watching him. Jed walked to Noah’s
door and knocked, but there was no answer. He tried the handle to see
that it was unlocked. Jed called out as he entered, “Noah, it’s me,
Jed.”
No answer.
He spotted Noah’s wallet and keys on the counter and knew the
man hadn’t gone far. Jed headed toward the back of the trailer and the
breath left his lungs in a whoosh.
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Noah was tied to his bed, naked, and every square inch of exposed
flesh was bloody. What in the hell had happened here? “Noah?”
The man lay stock-still and didn’t respond to Jed’s voice. Moving
closer, Jed checked Noah’s pulse. It was barely there. His hands
shook badly as he grabbed his cell and called 911.
“Hang in there,” Jed said after hanging up. The operator had
wanted him to stay on the line, but Jed needed to untie Noah. As he
undid the ropes, Noah made no movement, no sound. That worried
Jed more than anything. His entire body was shaking by the time he
tossed the last rope aside.
He was afraid to touch the man. There wasn’t one spot on the
guy’s body that hadn’t been affected. “Noah?” Jed brushed his
knuckles over the man’s bruised cheek, praying he wasn’t bringing
Noah any more pain. “Noah, can you hear me?”
The man’s eyelids fluttered open and then Noah started to scream.
He thrashed around, knocking his arm into Jed’s shoulder. Jed quickly
tore the rag from Noah’s mouth and then the screams became louder.
“It’s me—Jed.” He had no choice but to grab Noah’s arms. He
could feel the blood and cuts under his hands as he tried to restrain the
man. “If you don’t calm down, you’re going to hurt yourself.”
Noah began to cry. It wasn’t an ordinary cry, but hard, body-
shaking sobs. Jed pulled Noah into his arms, rocking the man and
hating himself for bringing the guy more pain. It had to hurt to be
held, but Jed couldn’t find it in himself to let the man go.
His bear roared at what had been done to Noah. Jed wanted to find
out who was responsible for this and seek revenge. He wanted the
bastard to pay. But right now Noah needed him more than Jed needed
to rip someone’s heart out. “I’m here for you, baby.”
In that moment, Jed knew he couldn’t keep his emotions from
getting involved. There was no way he could stop himself from
caring. Noah was nothing like the bastard who’d torn Jed’s heart out.
He could see that now. Although it was terrifying as hell to trust
again, Jed knew he couldn’t just walk away from Noah.
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47
The sound of sirens rent the air. There was a loud banging at the
door. Jed shouted for the EMTs to come in. When they entered the
back room, they stopped and gaped at the state Noah was in.
Jed was reluctant to let Noah go, but he knew he had to in order
for the man to be taken care of. He stepped back as one of the EMTs
lifted Noah from the bed and placed him on some kind of stretcher.
“What happened here?” one of the medics asked.
“I don’t know,” Jed answered as he watched Noah being carried
away. “He didn’t show up for work this morning, so I came here.
That’s how I found him.”
The EMT eyed the ropes.
“I took them off of him,” Jed admitted.
The EMT nodded before taking off after the other two. Jed
followed, climbing into his truck. His hands were shaking badly as he
called Harland and told the man what he’d found.
“You’ve got to be shitting me,” Harland said. “Who in the fuck
would hurt Noah?”
That’s what Jed planned on finding out. He gazed at the men who
had been watching him before he pulled from the lot and followed the
ambulance. Jed planned on finding out who was responsible, and then
he was going to make the bastard pay for what he’d done to Noah.
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Chapter Five
Jed stayed at Noah’s side, holding his hand as he prayed for the
man to open his eyes. It had been two days and so far Noah hadn’t
regained consciousness. Harland, Clayton, and Bryson had been up to
the hospital multiple times and Jed appreciated his friends’ support,
but nothing would soothe him right now.
He’d been an ass as far as Noah was concerned. Jed knew his fear
of relationships was justified, but after seeing Noah whipped within
an inch of his life, none of that really seemed to matter any longer.
Even though it scared him, Jed was ready to stop running, ready to
give Noah a chance.
It was just fucked up that something like this had to happen in
order for him to come to that realization.
“Just open your eyes for me,” Jed said while brushing his hand
over Noah’s. “I promise we’ll work on us.”
The nurse came in and gave Jed a warm smile as she checked
Noah’s vitals. No one had batted an eye when Jed stayed the night.
No one questioned him. In fact, one of the night nurses had brought
him a chair that folded out into a minibed. It hadn’t been the most
comfortable thing to sleep on, but he appreciated what everyone was
doing for him and Noah.
The doctor had told Jed that there was no reason Noah should be
out like this, that Noah was the one keeping himself in this comatose
state. Jed had been talking to the man nonstop, trying to bargain with
Noah to come back to the land of the living.
“Is there anything I can get for you?”
Jed shook his head. “I just need Noah to wake up.”
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49
She paused and smiled at him. “You must really love this fella.
You’ve been here since he was brought in.”
Jed didn’t comment. He wasn’t sure about love. He knew he
wanted a chance with Noah, a shot at something special. Was that
love? He had no idea. But the thought of losing Noah hurt like
nothing Jed had ever felt before.
“Thanks for taking such good care of him.”
She smiled. “I would say it’s my job, but I can tell this is a special
kind of guy.”
Jed would fully agree. He leaned back in his chair, rubbing his
hand over his jaw as he gazed out of the window. He could see the
light flow of traffic on the freeway beyond the hospital grounds. As
he sat there, Jed wondered if he’d gotten Noah pregnant the night
they’d slept together.
It was something that was constantly on his mind. There was no
way he could ask the doctors to check. For one, he couldn’t tell them.
The shifter doctor was the only one who could check for Jed. And
two, it was too early to tell. But what if the damage Noah sustained
made him lose their child?
Jed didn’t want to think about that. He wasn’t even sure Noah was
his mate. But mate or not, Jed planned on being with this guy. If Noah
wasn’t his mate, then they would work that out when the time came.
Once the nurse left, Jed leaned forward and pressed his forehead
on Noah’s hand. “I’m not sure how I will tell you what I am,” he said.
“But I’m really hoping that you’re my mate and that you’re carrying
my child.” His eyes flickered to Noah’s abdomen that was covered by
a thin blanket. “I’m not even sure this will work between us, but I’m
willing to try.”
Jed’s head snapped up when he felt Noah’s hand twitch. The
man’s eyelids slowly fluttered open and then Noah stared at the
ceiling. Jed stood, hovering over the human. “Noah?”
Ever so slowly, Noah turned his head and gazed up at Jed before
bursting into tears. Jed slid his arms around the guy, pulling him close
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as he rocked him—just like he had when he had first found Noah
whipped to hell. “Shhh, I got you, baby.”
It was like déjà vu all over again.
Noah continued to sob into Jed’s chest, but soon he began to wind
down. Jed continued to hold him, admitting to himself how right this
felt, how much he wanted Noah in his life.
“Do you remember what happened?” Jed didn’t want to ask,
didn’t want to bring the painful memory back, but he needed to know.
Noah pulled away, gazing around the room. He wiped at his eyes
and then blinked a few times. “No.”
“Then why were you crying?”
The man shook his head. “I’m not sure.”
Jed wasn’t sure whether Noah just didn’t want to talk about it or
whether he really couldn’t remember. “What’s the last thing you
recall?”
Noah glanced up at Jed and then blushed. “Us, together in your
truck.”
Noah had lost a full day. There was a part of Jed that was pleased
beyond reason that Noah hadn’t forgotten their time together. It was
the last thing he should be feeling right now after what Noah had been
through.
“Why am I here?” Noah asked.
“Maybe the doctor should explain things to you.” Jed didn’t have
the heart to tell Noah what had happened. He didn’t want to be the
one who shattered the man, but he was going to be the one to help
Noah pick up the pieces and start over.
He still had to tell the human that he and his friends had cleaned
Noah’s place out and moved the guy to the ranch. Jed wasn’t taking
any chances. He just hoped Noah didn’t flip out over Jed being so
high-handed.
The bottom line was that Jed cared for Noah and he would do
whatever it took to ensure the man’s safety.
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51
* * * *
Noah wasn’t sure what to think. He’d been at the ranch for two
weeks now and he still wasn’t used to being here. Jed was more
accommodating than normal, but other than that, these people were
virtual strangers to him.
Luckily the doctor had cleared him to go back to work. He was
still trying to figure out what had happened to him. Noah had no
recollection of being assaulted, but he had scars all over his body to
prove the doctor had been telling the truth.
The strangest thing of all was that Noah kept getting sick in the
morning. He couldn’t understand why. His diet hadn’t changed and he
was beginning to wonder if it was stress that was making him so sick.
He was also gaining weight. Noah had been slim his entire life, no
matter how much he ate. But lately, he had been putting on a few
pounds here and there. His pants were becoming a bit uncomfortable.
But Dresden was a fabulous cook and Noah couldn’t resist good food.
“I was going to take a ride and wondered if you wanted to join
me,” Jed said from the doorway. “I can have another horse saddled.”
Noah was dying to get out of the house. “I don’t know how to
ride.”
Jed smiled and Noah’s heart melted. Whatever change had come
over the man, Noah liked it. “It’s easy. I’ll teach you.”
“I don’t have any cowboy boots.”
“Tennis shoes will do just fine,” Jed said. “I’ll meet you in the
stable.”
Noah changed out of his pajama pants and into a pair of jeans that
used to be a little too big for him. He donned a T-shirt and some
tennis shoes before heading downstairs. Dresden was in the kitchen,
Markey at his side, begging for some juice.
Noah liked Dresden’s unconventional family. The man seemed
genuinely happy to be raising two boys with Harland. He never asked
who the children’s mother was. It wasn’t any of his business and
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besides, did it really matter? Markey looked like he was happy and
healthy and Austin was always in someone’s arms.
“Going out for a ride?” Dresden asked as he balanced Austin over
one shoulder.
“Any tips?” Noah asked as he reached into the fridge and pulled
out a juice box for the toddler. He inserted the straw and handed it
over. Markey looked pleased as punch.
“Take a blanket.”
Noah paused. “For what?”
Dresden gave him a knowing look and Noah could feel himself
blushing. It hadn’t occurred to him that he and Jed might have sex
while out riding. But it was a good idea nonetheless. “Gotcha.”
That only made Noah nervous. They weren’t going to be in the
back of a truck and it wasn’t going to be a quickie, trying to make
sure they weren’t caught by someone leaving the tavern.
It was just going to be the two of them under a clear blue sky. He
still didn’t know where he stood with Jed. The man had moved Noah
in to his home and had been acting rather nicely toward him, but Jed
hadn’t mentioned anything about where this was going.
And Noah was too afraid to ask.
He couldn’t rightly say he was traumatized by what had happened
to him since Noah didn’t remember. But it was a bit disconcerting to
end up on a ranch with people he hardly knew. He felt disjointed.
Was he in a hurry to go back home? Nope. Noah was on a mission
and that mission was to seduce Jed into a long-lasting relationship. He
was making headway, but was still far from his goal.
Noah walked out to the stable to see Jed saddling a brown horse.
The thing was majestic, but damn was it big. Noah was starting to
wonder if riding the thing was a wise idea. “Don’t you have any
smaller ones?”
Jed tightened a buckle under the horse’s belly and then patted it
on the neck. “Lazy Sunday is as gentle as they come. You’ll be in
good hands.”
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53
Noah didn’t see any damn hands. All he saw was him falling off
the dang thing. And that was going to be one long fall. “Are you sure
about this?”
Jed led the horse outside. “I wouldn’t put you on her if I wasn’t
sure, Noah.”
God, he loved when the man said his name. It was like a soft
stroke over his senses. Noah stood beside the horse, wondering how
he was going to get on the creature.
“Here.” Jed walked over by the stable and grabbed a footstool.
Noah felt ridiculous using the thing, but it helped. Jed showed him
how to mount the horse and Noah felt like he was way too high off of
the ground.
Jed had no problem getting onto his horse. He didn’t even need
the damn step stool.
Show-off.
The cowboy gave him a quick lesson on how to use the reins and
then they were off. Noah didn’t have to do anything. His horse
followed Jed’s. They rode through the back forest and a few times
Noah had to duck because of low branches. His back started to hurt,
along with his butt. He was ready for a break, but refused to look
wimpy in front of the sexy guy.
“This looks like a good spot.” Jed pulled his horse to a stop. Noah
was more than thankful that they were finally resting. He started to
consider walking back to the ranch after he dismounted and nearly
toppled over from sore muscles.
“It takes some getting used to,” Jed said as he tethered both sets of
reins on a nearby tree branch. “You’ll probably have to soak tonight.”
And rub down with an entire bottle of liniment.
Jed pulled a blanket from his saddlebag. Noah had completely
forgotten about Dresden’s advice. But it seemed Jed had been
thinking along the same lines.
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Noah walked over to the babbling brook that was close-by. He
bent—which hurt because of his ride—and tossed a few pebbles into
the water. Noah had to admit, this was a beautiful, serene setting.
“Dresden made us a lunch,” Jed called to him. Noah dropped the
pebbles, wiped his hands on his jeans, and walked back over to where
Jed had not only spread out the blanket, but the lunch as well. He took
a seat as Jed served them both.
The food was great, but all Noah could think about was dessert.
He sure as hell hoped there was some dessert because he wanted Jed
in the worst sort of way. Although the man had been attentive since
Noah had come to the ranch, they’d yet to have sex again.
“Can I ask you something?” Noah wasn’t sure if he should bring
the subject up.
“Sure.” Jed wiped a napkin over his mouth.
“Why are you so considerate now?” Noah feared he had ruined
the mood with his bluntness, but to his surprise, Jed answered
him…sort of.
“A man sometimes doesn’t see what he needs until he almost
loses it.” Jed lay back, tucking his hands behind his head. Noah was
tempted to crawl over there and lick him from head to toe.
“And what do you need?” Noah hedged.
“You.”
Noah wasn’t sure how to take that. Sexually or permanently?
“Can you elaborate?”
Jed cracked one eye open and stared at Noah. “Are you trying to
get me to talk about my feelings?”
“No,” Noah said, shaking his head. “I just…I don’t know. I guess
I just want to know where I stand with you, with us. I’m a bit
confused.”
Jed rolled to his side, resting his jaw on the palm of his hand.
“There are some things we need to talk about, though.”
“Like what?” Noah scooted closer, his interest piqued. He was on
his knees, staring down at the most gorgeous man he’d ever laid eyes
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on. All he wanted to do was wrap himself in the man’s scent, in Jed’s
safety.
He was just unsure of what Jed had to say and that held Noah
back.
Jed sat up, pulling Noah even closer. Oh, this wasn’t good. Jed
had a serious gleam in his eyes. Was he about to tell Noah that this
had been fun, but he needed to get back to his own life? Noah’s
insides twisted into knots as he waited for the other shoe to fall.
Jed cleared his throat before he diverted his eyes. “I’m a bear
shifter and you might be pregnant.”
Noah sat there for a long while as his brain tried to process what
Jed was telling him. He blinked a few times then burst out laughing.
“You’re so full of it.”
“I’m serious.”
“No, you’re not.”
“Why am I not serious?”
“Because men can’t change into animals and men can’t get
pregnant.” Oh, crap. Jed was a lunatic. Why were all the sexy men
either straight or crazy? Noah should have known better than to trust
his good fortune lately. And here he had thought he and Jed had a
chance at happiness.
The only thing Jed had a chance at was the funny farm and a
lovely straitjacket. He couldn’t believe his damn luck. And here he’d
been crushing on the guy for months.
“I can prove it,” Jed argued. “Or at least part of what I’m saying.”
This should be interesting. “Go ahead, prove to me you’re a bear.”
And when Jed couldn’t, Noah was going to haul ass out of here.
He would go back to the ranch, pack his shit, and never look back.
The thought made his chest feel hollow, but there was no way he was
dating a loon.
Noah chewed his bottom lip as he watched Jed strip naked. Maybe
they could fuck before he took off. The temptation was strong as he
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watched all those glorious muscles being revealed to him. Noah had
an urge to bite the guy.
“Don’t be afraid.”
Noah rolled his eyes. This was the most asinine thing he’d ever—
”Holy shit!” He stumbled back, trying to crawl away as a huge bear
appeared in front of him. Noah could feel his heart in his throat as
panic began to set in. Jed hadn’t been lying.
What the fuck?
Noah pushed to his feet, his knees shaking. He took one good look
at the giant-sized bear and then passed out.
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Chapter Six
Okay then.
Jed had been afraid something like this would happen, but he
couldn’t think of any other way to tell Noah about his bear. He had
also noticed how sick Noah had been getting in the mornings and had
a strong feeling the man was pregnant.
Which meant that Noah was his mate.
But he wouldn’t know for sure until the shifter doctor examined
the man. The doctor was supposed to be at the ranch first thing in the
morning.
Jed shifted back into his human form and pulled Noah from the
ground. He cradled Noah in his arms as he tapped the guy’s face.
“Hey, wake up.”
Noah groaned as his eyelids fluttered open. The man looked a bit
pale and that worried Jed. Maybe he should just take Noah back to the
house. Jed had tried taking the practical approach and explaining
things to Noah, but the man had seemed to need visual evidence.
The human got more than he had bargained for. “Are you okay?”
“No, I’m not okay,” Noah said a little too quickly. “You just
changed into a bear. That’s not humanly possible.”
Jed let the man rant until he fell silent. “How do you feel now?”
Noah sighed as he pushed from Jed’s arms. “It’s going to take
more than a minute for me to get used to that,” he admitted, his
features still pale and his limbs a bit shaky. “It’s definitely some
freaky stuff.”
“But is it something you can live with?” Jed asked. He didn’t need
Noah putting any distance between them. Jed had done enough of that
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already. He wanted things to work out between them, even though he
was still a bit hesitant about opening himself up and letting someone
in. The thought of trusting someone was a very scary thing when his
trust had been abused once already in his life.
“Just give me time,” Noah said as he shook his head slightly. “My
brain needs to process what I just saw.”
It wasn’t a yes, but it wasn’t a no either. Jed didn’t want to invest
himself in Noah if the human was going to kick him to the curb. He
couldn’t go through that again. “We should head back to the house.”
“Why?” Noah asked. “Just because I’m having a slight meltdown
doesn’t mean our day is ruined.”
The guy was a bit strange to figure out. Jed was almost positive
that Noah wanted some time to himself, but the man sat there arguing
with him about staying. “Then we can go for a swim.”
The creek was high enough for them to have some fun. Jed was
already naked. He walked over to the edge and then jumped in,
surfacing to see Noah gazing at him. “What?”
The man shook his head and then stripped down to his boxers. He
couldn’t believe the guy was being modest, but didn’t say a word as
Noah eased into the warm water. Even though Noah’s flesh was now
riddled with scars, that didn’t detract from the guy’s beauty one bit.
“Tell me you can swim.”
“I can doggy paddle and drown like a pro. Does that count?” Noah
moved so slowly that Jed swore it would take the man all day to make
it to the middle. He swam over to Noah and pulled the guy into his
arms, holding him close as he floated backward.
“Now this is living,” Jed commented as Noah rested his head on
Jed’s chest. He might not be able to swim, but Noah seemed
comfortable enough to trust Jed. His bear liked that.
“If you were telling the truth about being able to change into a
bear, what does that mean about me getting pregnant? Not that I
believe you. Although you proved to me you weren’t lying.”
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The guy was babbling. Jed let him. He liked hearing the sound of
Noah’s voice. It was soothing in ways he never thought possible. Jed
leaned his head back, soaking up the sun as the two floated. How
could anything be more perfect than this moment? “I was telling you
the truth, Noah. Why do you think you’ve been getting sick in the
mornings?”
“Stress.”
“That’s possible, but highly unlikely. At least, for this situation.”
He smoothed his hand over Noah’s arm, enjoying the feel of the guy’s
soft skin. Jed brushed aside Noah’s thick, obsidian hair, relishing the
man’s beauty. “Just let it percolate in your mind.”
“Percolate?” Noah chuckled as he splashed some water at Jed.
“Love your choice of words.”
“And I love my choice in men.” He nipped Noah’s bare shoulder.
It struck him how honest his words were. Jed had feared being with
Noah for months, avoiding the man, making sure to steer clear
whenever he spotted Noah in town. Now in hindsight, he knew he had
been running from what he felt toward the guy. It was like slow
embers that were building into a blazing fire. Only Jed hadn’t known
what was happening to him.
His hand spanned over Noah’s belly, as he wondered and hoped.
He wanted what Harland had, that happiness, the family any man
would wish for. Jed hadn’t thought he’d ever find anyone to make
him feel like this. Not even Morse—the man who’d ripped his heart
out—had made him feel like he was flying.
The water moved around them in lazy eddies as Jed floated along,
leaving life’s problems behind for just a little while. He wondered if it
would always be like this, stolen moments of serenity, tranquil swims
in the creek. It had to be, otherwise what was happiness and
contentment truly about?
“Dresden and Harland’s children?” Noah asked as he swished his
hand back and forth through the water.
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“Markey is Dresden’s. But Austin was born to both men,” Jed
explained, glad that Noah was at least willing to accept some part of
what he’d been telling the man. For a human, the news that men could
get pregnant was more than likely an extreme shock.
Jed was used to it. He’d seen it before in his childhood and
adolescent years. His mother had told him about his uncle, who had
conceived a child with his mate. For him, it was as normal as
breathing. For Noah, it was as foreign as aliens invading earth.
“I’m glad I can go back to work tomorrow,” Noah said as he
cupped some water and then let it stream from his hand. “I don’t like
being cooped up.”
“There’s plenty to do on the ranch,” Jed said. “You don’t have to
stay inside all the time.”
Noah fell silent for a moment before he said, “But I feel like…I
don’t know, like danger is just around the corner. Does that make any
sense to you?”
Noah’s words echoed his own thoughts so closely that a shiver
raced down Jed’s spine. He’d been feeling the exact same way. Jed
just wasn’t sure why. There was some sort of impending doom around
them and that made his bear edgy as hell.
Jed brushed his hand over Noah’s hair. “Things will work out.”
Noah pushed away from him, barely staying above water as he
laughed, his smile making Jed’s heart light. He finally had a chance at
happiness. Jed finally had someone he felt he could share his love and
his life with.
He turned, swimming toward Noah.
Noah’s eyes widened as he tried to paddle away, but the man was
too slow. Jed picked Noah up and tossed him a few feet away,
laughing heartedly as Noah surfaced and sputtered.
“You’re going to pay for that!” Noah declared before he paddled
ever so slowly back to Jed.
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61
Jed let the man catch him. They wrestled in the water, laughing
and splashing, until Jed felt like he was going to burst from complete
and utter happiness.
His walls were coming down and he felt as if he could finally trust
someone with his heart.
* * * *
“It appears that Noah has been suffering from stress.” The doctor
closed the bedroom door before he turned toward Jed, who was
waiting outside in the hallway.
“His weight gain?” Jed asked.
“The body acts in strange ways when it is under duress. From my
understanding, he has been through one hell of an ordeal.” The doctor
patted Jed’s arm. “I’m sorry, Jed, but Noah isn’t pregnant.”
Jed didn’t like the sympathetic look the doctor was giving him.
Most shifters knew that if pregnancy didn’t occur with the first
coupling, the chances of that person being one’s mate were slim to
none.
He could still have a rich, fulfilling life with Noah, but they would
never have any children. Jed could actually feel his heart breaking. It
wasn’t Noah’s fault, and he would never make Noah feel as if it were.
“Thanks.”
“I’ve given him something for the nausea, but the rest is
psychological. That isn’t my area of expertise, Jedediah.” There went
that look again. The one that said, You poor bastard. You’re stuck
with a guy who can’t give you a family. How awful for you.
He thanked the doctor one more time before entering the
bedroom. Noah was slipping on his shirt when Jed came in. The
man’s injuries from his whipping were healed. There were still
wounds that were raised and red, but the scabbing had completed.
From what the doctor had just said, the scarring on the inside hadn’t.
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What hurt even more than what the doctor had told him was the
fact that Noah was wearing that same sympathetic expression.
“I’m sorry, Jed. I know how much you wanted children.”
How much he wanted children. That was a kick to his gut. Could
Noah have made the news any worse with his aloof apathy? He knew
he was taking the news hard. Jed wasn’t trying to pick a fight. It
wasn’t fair that he was trying to put his wants and dreams on Noah.
The guy probably had his own plans for life…plans that didn’t
include having children.
He grabbed some clothes from his dresser, heading for the
shower. “We need to get moving. We have appointments today.” Jed
didn’t wait for an answer. He walked into the bathroom, closed the
door, and then locked it. Gripping the edge of the sink, Jed told
himself that he had to get used to the idea that there would be no
offspring for him, no pattering of little feet. But he and Noah could
still be happy together.
His heart just wasn’t listening. Jed brushed away a stray tear with
the palm of his hand as he cleared his throat.
He’d been dealt a disappointing blow that would take him a while
to get over. But in the meantime, he had to make sure he didn’t blame
Noah. It wasn’t the guy’s fault that they weren’t mates.
Jed showered and dressed in a sort of numb, detached state. No
matter how hard he tried to push the disappointment from his mind, it
wouldn’t leave. By the time he came out of the bathroom, the
bedroom was empty. Noah must have gone downstairs.
Jed sat on the edge of the bed, taking in a deep and cleansing
breath. He could get over this. There was Markey and Austin to
shower his love on and they were great kids. He would be the best
uncle possible.
A knock sounded on the door before Bryson walked in. The large
bear leaned against the frame. “I heard.”
Jed didn’t want to talk about it. He was still trying to work things
out in his own mind. “I’m fine.”
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“Are you?” Bryson asked as he moved into the room and closed
the door behind him. “Has to be one hell of a blow to find out that
Noah isn’t your mate.”
Jeez. Could the guy plunge the knife any deeper into Jed’s heart?
“I said I’m fine.”
“Surly as ever,” Bryson said with his crooked smile. “I know you
don’t want to hear it, but I’m here for you if you need me.”
Clenching his jaw, Jed nodded before he slipped past Bryson and
headed out of the room. He needed air. Jed went downstairs and out
the back door where he spotted Noah standing out back, staring off
into the pastures beyond. He paused, wondering what was going
through the man’s mind.
“I really am sorry,” Noah said in a tone that was barely above a
whisper. Noah’s demeanor had changed and Jed wondered why. Had
someone said something to Noah?
“Things will be okay.” Jed stepped up beside Noah, gazing out as
well.
“I’m told that if I’m not pregnant, then I’m not your mate.”
“Who told you that?” It was the last thing Jed wanted Noah to find
out about. Their life could still be good, but not if Noah blamed
himself. Jed didn’t want the man to carry around any guilt over
something he couldn’t help.
“It doesn’t matter.” Noah turned his head and gazed up at Jed with
those gorgeous pale-blue eyes. “I just know that someday you’ll meet
your mate and then where does that leave me?”
“Noah.”
Noah held up his hand. “Don’t. This is going to be hard enough,
Jed. But I can’t live with the knowledge that one day I’ll lose you to
someone who was meant for you. I’d rather part ways now.”
Jed couldn’t believe what he was hearing. It was like Morse all
over again, only ten times worse. Not only was his heart being ripped
out, but his entire world was falling down around him. He’d opened
himself up and let Noah in, trusting the man wouldn’t hurt him.
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He should have known better. Love was for fools and Jed had
been the biggest fool of them all because he had, in fact, fallen deeply
in love with Noah Cross.
* * * *
If there was a real hell, Noah was living in it. He had moved out
of the ranch and had rented a room in town. He wasn’t stupid enough
to go back to the trailer park, but he couldn’t stand living at the
Triple-B ranch either. Not when he knew he wasn’t Jed’s mate.
Worse, he’d given Jed his notice and had gone back to being a
waiter at the Pheasant Run Café. Except for the scars he bore from his
attack, the last month had felt like a dream.
It didn’t help that Clayton, Bryson, and Harland had come by the
diner to try and talk Noah into moving back to the ranch. There was
no way he could get on with his life if those men wouldn’t leave him
alone. But every time they came by, it took a miracle for Noah not to
ask how Jed was doing. He couldn’t ask, because if he did, he would
never get out of the depression he now called home.
“What can I get for you?” he mechanically asked the couple
sitting in his section. His pencil was poised over his pad, but Noah
was staring out of the big, bay window, wondering what Jed was
doing at this very moment.
“Did you hear me?” the gentleman asked.
“Huh?” Noah glanced back down and saw the couple staring at
him. He cleared his throat. “I’m sorry, could you repeat that?” He
took their order and headed toward the kitchen. Noah didn’t want to
be here. He didn’t want to be anywhere but in Jed’s arms.
But he had to be strong and move on with his life. It would do him
no good to pine away over someone who wasn’t meant to be his.
When Noah entered the kitchen, he gripped the counter, trying to pull
enough air into his lungs to actually breathe. The tears were so close
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to spilling that he had to swallow several times around the large lump
in his constricted throat.
“Are you all right?” the cook asked. No, he wasn’t, but Noah kept
that to himself. He gave the guy a tight smile before handing over his
order and leaving the kitchen.
Only time would ease the pain, would fill the gaping hole centered
in his chest. Noah knew this, but it didn’t help. He just wanted to ball
up and cry himself into unconsciousness.
Get a grip.
Easier said than done. Taking in a very deep breath, Noah
plastered on a smile and got back to work. He forced any thought of
Jed out of his mind, refusing to allow himself to think about the man.
It worked for most of the day. Noah served food, took a few breaks,
and even managed to laugh when his boss told him a joke.
But deep down, in a place where the suffering continued to wage
war, he was slipping deeper into depression. At the end of his shift,
Noah waved his good-bye and headed home.
To a rented room.
By himself.
“You have to shake yourself out of this,” he said to himself.
“There are plenty more men in the sea.”
It wasn’t like him to lose his mind over some guy and he had to
put his best effort forward to get over Jed. Noah decided he would
pay his dad a visit. He hadn’t seen the guy in a while. Jack usually
didn’t bother Noah about visiting and it was high time he saw the
man.
It might even do him some good. His father was great at giving
advice. With that in mind, Noah headed to his dad’s house. Now that
he no longer lived in the trailer park, it seemed even more ominous as
he drove through. It no longer held that familiar feel and Noah made
quick work of getting to his dad’s.
He didn’t want to linger around because he still couldn’t
remember what had happened to him to put him in the hospital. If it
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wasn’t for his father, Noah would never come back to this
godforsaken place.
When he spotted his father sitting outside, soaking up the last rays
of sun, Noah grinned. Except for the touches of grey at the man’s
temple, Jack Cross looked the same as he had when Noah was a kid.
But he knew the man’s weakness. Jack had had back problems since
serving his time in the military.
“Well, look what the cat dragged in,” Jack said with a beaming
smile as he set his mug aside and sat up straighter. Noah got out of the
car and hugged his father before taking a seat on the trailer steps.
“How’s it going, Dad?”
Jack shrugged as he gazed over the park. “Not bad. Having one of
my good days.” His father reached for his mug and took a sip of what
Noah knew to be tea and brandy. “How’s it going for you? I hear you
moved into the Triple-B ranch.”
“Sorry I didn’t tell you.” It had been so quick and Noah had had
other things to worry about, like healing. He didn’t want to worry his
old man. Although Jack Cross was a tough ex-Marine, the man wasn’t
getting any younger and he’d always worried about Noah.
His father waved his apology away. “Just glad you came to see
me.” He shifted in his chair, his pale-blue eyes assessing. “You got
something on your mind.”
It was a statement. Jack was damn good at reading people,
especially Noah. It had made his teenage years hell whenever Noah
was trying to hide something from his father. The man always knew
when Noah was up to no good and had called him on it every time.
“I just came to see how you were doing,” Noah said, still not
wanting to worry his father. He had originally come here for advice,
but now that he was around his dad, something settled inside of him.
Noah felt like things were going to be okay—even though his heart
was still broken.
“Matters of the heart,” his dad said as he nodded. “Always a
tricky subject to talk about.” The man should know. He still hadn’t
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67
gotten over the loss of his wife. It had been ten years and Noah could
still see the pain in the man’s eyes. His parents hadn’t been rich, but
the love they’d had for one another was what fairy tales were made
of.
Noah kicked the toe of his boot against the concrete as he rested
his upper body on his knees. He stared at the ground, wishing an easy
answer would come to him where Jed was concerned.
“Why’d you quit the service station?” Jack took another sip of his
tea and brandy, gazing away from Noah, yet Noah felt as if the man
were staring right at him.
“It’s complicated.”
“Then your heart matters are with Jed.”
Damn, the man was good. That was one thing he honestly loved
about his dad. Jack had never judged his son for being gay. The man
accepted him for who he was and loved him regardless. That was
saying a lot for a marine. Noah couldn’t have asked for a better father.
“It might have something to do with it,” he admitted.
“Something unforgiveable?”
“Something I have no control over.” Noah felt the heartache once
more. All he wanted was Jed, no one else. But fate had decided he
wasn’t good enough for the cowboy. Life was so damn unfair.
“Those bears can be tough to love sometimes.”
Noah’s head snapped up, his lips parting as he gaped at his father.
Jack never ceased to amaze him with his wisdom.
His father gave a light chuckle. “Served with a bear shifter. He
was wounded and had to shift to heal. Hell of a thing to see when
under fire. I wasn’t sure if I should be more afraid of the enemy or
Lance Corporal Noah Higgins.” Jack shrugged. “Turned out to be my
best friend until he was killed two years after we got out.”
“Why haven’t I ever heard of him before?” Noah asked.
“Some things a man doesn’t like to talk about,” his father said.
“Memory’s too painful. But I named you after him.”
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Noah would have liked to have met his namesake. He was starting
to see that there were layers to his father that he had never known
about.
“You reckon you can fix things between you and Jed?”
Noah shook his head. “I’m not his mate.” If his father knew about
bear shifters, then there was no need to hide the truth—no matter how
painful it was to admit. “I decided to cut my losses before Jed found
whoever he’s supposed to be with.”
“How do you know you aren’t the one he’s supposed to be with?”
Maybe his dad was starting to get senile. Hadn’t he just told the
guy he wasn’t Jed’s mate? Noah took in a deep breath and blurted,
“I’m not pregnant.”
Jack sat there for the longest time, staring at the setting sun,
saying nothing as he sipped his tea mix. Noah remained quiet as well.
He was sitting next to a man he’d admired and respected his entire life
and the silence was comfortable.
“Don’t give up, son,” Jack said. “Fate has a funny way of working
things out.”
Noah didn’t see how. Fact was fact. He wasn’t pregnant so he
wasn’t Jed’s mate. It was pretty cut and dry to him. “It’s getting late.”
Jack nodded as he stood, his balance a little shaky. “Best be
getting inside. Come back and see me sometime, son.”
Noah hugged his father, needing the anchor, the feeling of safety,
before he got into his car and drove home. He might not have found
any answers, but he did feel much better—at least for now.
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Chapter Seven
Jed had no idea where Clayton was taking him. The man had said
it was urgent. It seemed like they’d been driving for hours, though Jed
knew it had only been roughly forty-five minutes. “Are you going to
tell me what’s going on?”
“Almost there,” Clayton said as he checked his side mirror before
turning down an old country road made of dirt. They were definitely
off the beaten path. Jed didn’t know this road and was becoming
increasingly antsy to get out and let his bear run.
It had been nearly two months since Noah had left and Jed’s
patience was on a short fuse these days. He felt caged, his skin too
tight, his nerves frayed. A small log cabin came into view. “What’s
this?”
“You’ll see,” Clayton said.
“I’m getting really tired of your short answers.”
Clayton scowled. “You’ve been bitchy as hell for far too long,
Jed. Stop snapping at me before I run this truck off a cliff.”
Jed grunted as he waited for them to come to a stop. When they
did, Clayton climbed out and waved toward the one-story cabin. “It’s
inside.”
“What’s inside?” Jed was getting a very bad feeling about this. He
knew Clayton wasn’t up to anything sinister, but Jed didn’t like the
whole cloak-and-dagger routine. He spun on Clayton. “Either you tell
me what’s going on or I’m walking back home.”
“That’s a far walk, Jed. It’s a far run for your bear, too. Just trust
me and go inside.”
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Jed stood there for a moment and eyed Clayton before finally
relenting. He stepped onto the porch, gazing around the area, but
nothing seemed out of place. If his friends had brought him all the
way out here for an intervention, he was going to string all three of
them up by their balls.
But when he stepped into the cabin, it wasn’t his friends waiting
for him. His heart hammered against his chest when he saw Noah
standing in the small kitchenette. Jed turned and headed for the door,
but Clayton slammed it closed. When he turned the handle, nothing
happened. He was locked inside.
“Damn it, Clayton. You have five seconds to let me out of here!”
“Not until you two work your shit out,” Clayton hollered from the
other side. “And don’t think about trying to escape. There’s no way
out. But no worries, I have first guard duty. If a fire breaks out, I’ll
open the door.”
Jed slammed the palm of his hand into the worn wood. “Was this
your idea?” he groused at Noah without turning around.
“Hell no,” Noah answered with vehemence in his tone. “I didn’t
know you were going to be here. Clayton said he needed to see me
and told me to meet him here.”
Clayton was going to pay for this. That meddlesome little
matchmaker had no right to stick his nose where it didn’t belong. Jed
moved over to the windows, but to his utter dismay, there were thick
bars on them. Clayton was right. There was no way out of here.
“Damn it!” Jed punched the wall close to the window. He didn’t
want to be near Noah. He didn’t want to inhale the man’s familiar
scent. The reminder of what he’d lost only deepened the pain of
losing the man in the first place.
He began to pace the cabin at an angry clip, avoiding the area
where Noah was sitting. Jed refused to look the man’s way. He wasn’t
going to let his resolve weaken.
For nearly two hours neither one said a word. Jed had stopped
pacing long ago and had taken up staring out of the barred window.
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There was a part of him that ached deeply to hold Noah again. His
bear whimpered to have the human within touching distance.
“How long is Clayton going to keep us here?” Noah asked from
the same spot he’d been sitting in when Jed arrived. The man hadn’t
moved. The human’s tone was bored and that only pissed Jed off even
more.
“How the hell should I know?” Curling his hands into fists, Jed
shoved them under his armpits as he watched the gentle wind blow
through the canopy of trees. He was itching to go for a run, to burn off
this excess energy and frustration.
“He’s your friend,” Noah pointed out. “Has he done something
like this before?”
Jed gritted his teeth. “No.”
“This is stupid.” Noah got up and began to pound on the door.
“Let us out!”
There wasn’t a response and Jed knew there wouldn’t be. Clayton
was one stubborn bear and he would wait it out until the white flag
was raised.
“We could always tell him that we’ve made up.”
“Lie?” Jed nearly spat the word. “Figures.”
“What in the hell does that mean?” Noah demanded as he spun
and glared at Jed. “You’re the one who wants to live a lie.”
Jed ignored the man. He wasn’t going to stand here and debate the
issue with Noah. The guy had left him. What was there to talk about?
He was in the right and he didn’t have to defend himself. He took a
seat, keeping his back to the human.
“Sure, go ahead and act like everything is hunky-dory. You’re the
one with a mate out there somewhere, not me.” Noah left the door and
went back to the kitchenette. The man’s arms were crossed over his
chest and if Jed wasn’t mistaken, he could hear hurt in the guy’s
voice. But what did Noah have to be hurt over? It wasn’t him who had
had his heart ripped out. It wasn’t him who had finally trusted again,
only to be betrayed once more.
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“A mate that I may never find.” Why was he even arguing with
Noah? There was no point to this.
“And I’m supposed to take that chance?” Noah gaped at Jed as if
the man had slapped the guy. “Right,” he snorted. “Build a life with
you and then watch as it’s pulled out from under me when that special
someone comes along.” Noah made crude air quotes—his fingers like
talons—when he said the word special. “I’m not into torturing
myself.”
No, you’re into torturing me.
“It doesn’t matter. You leaving said it all.” Jed grunted, refusing
to say another word. He’d wait until the end of time before he made
up with Noah. The man had no clue what they could have had
together. He’d bailed. End of story.
“You’re one pigheaded man!” Noah slammed his fist onto the
counter. “You just don’t get it, do you?”
Jed wasn’t taking the bait. He was done arguing.
“What if the shoe were on the other foot?” Noah asked. “What if
it was me who had a mate out there somewhere? Would you let me go
so I could live a happy life with another man?”
“I’d kill him!” Damn it. Jed turned back around, gritting his teeth
so hard they should have shattered in his mouth.
“And I’m not supposed to feel that way? What do you think it
does to me to know there is someone out there that you’d leave me
for?”
“I would have never left you,” Jed argued. When was he going to
learn to keep his mouth shut?
“So, what, a ménage?” Noah ground the last word out. “Hell no. I
don’t share. Would you share me with—”
“Enough!” Jed stood, going back to the door and yanking on the
handle to no avail. What Noah said was making sense and that only
pissed him off even further. There was no way in hell he would give
Noah up if the roles were reversed and he didn’t share either.
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“Then what the hell do you want me to do?” Noah shouted. “I’m
damned if I do and damned if I don’t. You want me to stay, yet
there’s a chance I can’t keep you. That sounds pretty damn selfish to
me, Jed.”
Why did the guy have to say his name? Jed leaned his forehead
into the wood of the door. “I don’t know, Noah. I just don’t…”
“I left because I’d rather hurt myself now than have you hurt me
later.”
The words were spoken softly and Jed could hear the utter despair
in Noah’s tone. The man was right. This was a tricky situation with no
clear-cut answer. Jed wanted the man with every fiber of his being,
but there was a chance he’d find his mate, and where would that leave
Noah?
He was between a rock and a hard place. Jed didn’t want anyone
but Noah. But he knew that if his mate came along, his bear would
pursue the man.
Taking a seat on the twin-size bed not ten feet from the door, Jed
rested his face in his hands as a hollowness began to fill his chest. The
bed dipped when Noah sat beside him. “Don’t hate me, Jed. In the
long run, you’ll see that separating was the right thing to do, even if it
hurts worse than death right now.”
And it did. Jed had never felt his level of pain or anguish. It was a
hundred times worse than when Morse had broken his heart. It
actually felt like Jed was dying. He stopped fighting what he was
feeling and reached over, grabbing Noah and pulling the man close.
Jed rested his cheek on Noah’s thick, dark hair and inhaled the man’s
scent.
Letting Noah go was going to be the hardest thing he’d ever had
to do.
“We can still be friends,” Noah said but Jed knew that for the lie it
was. If he did find his mate, he hardly believed that Noah would smile
and congratulate him. He knew that this was it. They would probably
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never see each other again, and if they did, it would only be in
passing.
“You stay away from that trailer park,” Jed said as he pressed his
lips into Noah’s hair. “It isn’t safe for you there.”
“That’s kind of hard when my dad still lives there.”
“Then go during daylight hours.” It killed Jed to think that he
wouldn’t be there to protect Noah if the man was attacked again. But
come hell or high water, if Noah was assaulted, Jed was going to kill
the bastard who’d done it. Just because they weren’t going to be
together didn’t mean his love for Noah would dissipate overnight.
He doubted it ever would.
And if Noah ever regained his memory of what had happened the
night he’d been whipped so badly that he barely survived, Jed would
be the first person there, waiting on a name.
“I guess this is it,” Noah said, but he didn’t pull away. Jed knew
he should tell Clayton that he and Noah were fine, but he couldn’t
bring himself to let the man go. If he did, he’d never feel the guy’s
softness again.
Noah’s hand slid up Jed’s chest, stopping right over his heart. Jed
pulled back, staring into those gorgeous pale-blue eyes. They were
like sparkling diamonds, blazing with passion and wildness.
“One more time before we part?”
Noah bit his bottom lip. “We shouldn’t.”
Jed gave a quick nod. “You’re right. We shouldn’t.” And then he
lowered his head, breathing Noah in before their lips touched and a
firestorm ignited inside of him. Jed crushed Noah to him, gripping the
man’s hair as he began to lower Noah to the bed.
Noah whimpered, twisting to lie on his back before pulling Jed
closer as the man maneuvered around until he could wrap his legs
around Jed’s waist. The hunger inside of him was like nothing he’d
ever felt before. He wanted to devour Noah. There was nothing slow
about their movements. The two of them tore at each other until they
were partially undressed.
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Jed moved lower, sucking one of Noah’s nipples into his mouth,
licking at the man’s chest while using his hands to pull Noah’s pants
from his body. Noah’s hands tugged at Jed’s hair as Jed yanked his
own jeans free.
When their skin touched, it was like fireworks. Jed sighed into
Noah’s body, feeling as if he’d finally come home, as if this was
where he was meant to be.
Noah kicked and moved until he had Jed on his back. The man sat
atop him, looking like a debauched angel. Jed reached up and
skimmed his knuckles down Noah’s face. “I love you.”
Tears sprung to Noah’s eyes as his head jerked in a quick nod.
“And I’ll always love you, Jed.”
Jed wet his fingers in his mouth before shoving them deep into
Noah’s ass. The man cried out as he fell forward, his hands splaying
across Jed’s chest. He moved his body sensually as Jed stretched him,
his fingers working as their lips collided. Jed could feel the heartache
in that one kiss, the pain they both felt at what they had to do.
He didn’t want to let Noah go, but knew the man was right. They
couldn’t build a life together knowing Jed had a mate out there
somewhere. That wasn’t fair to Noah or the mate Jed knew nothing
about. This was going to be their last time together, and Jed was going
to make sure he showed Noah just how much he loved him.
Forcing himself to slow down, Jed rolled them again, placing
Noah under him before he pulled away, heading into the small kitchen
to find something he could use for lube. There was a tub of lard in one
of the cupboards.
It would have to do.
Jed took the tub back to the bed and scooped his hand into the soft
grease before lathering his cock. Noah lay there, watching him
closely, as if memorizing Jed’s features so the man wouldn’t forget
him, wouldn’t forget this moment.
Lying on his back, Noah hitched his legs over his arms, spreading
himself wide as Jed settled between the man’s legs. He leaned down,
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feathering a light kiss over Noah’s lips as he worked his cock into the
human’s body. He closed his eyes, savoring the feeling, never
wanting to forget what it was like to be with Noah.
When he was fully seated, Noah circled his arms around Jed’s
neck, pulling him close as Jed started to move, thrusting as he slid his
hands under Noah’s head, bringing their lips together.
It was the most bittersweet moment Jed had ever experienced. He
buried his face in Noah’s neck, taking in the man’s scent, praying to
the fates for some sort of miracle in which he could keep Noah.
He drove his cock deep before pulling his head back and wiping
Noah’s tears away with the pads of his thumbs. “Don’t cry, baby.”
“I can’t help it,” Noah said as his breath hitched. “I don’t want to
let you go.”
Jed kissed each eyelid before wrapping his arms around the love
of his life, holding on to the man, knowing exactly how Noah felt. He
was no longer sure if he could walk away, but he knew he had to. He
never wanted to hurt this man, but he would someday if he didn’t
garner the courage to leave Noah now.
Jed held his own tears in check as he made sweet, sweet love to
the man. His movements were slow, sensual, and he made sure he
touched every part of Noah, doing his own memorizing so he would
never forget a single inch of the guy.
Noah threw his head back and cried out, his seed spilling between
them as Jed thrust harder. His canines elongated and Jed couldn’t stop
himself as he bit into the man’s shoulder. He held on for dear life as
his body exploded and his climax tore through him.
His movements began to slow as he withdrew his teeth, lapping at
the wound before kissing the mark that he’d made.
Jed hugged Noah even tighter, feeling as if he were dying in the
man’s arms.
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Chapter Eight
Jed walked into the office at the ranch, gathering the paperwork
for the sale of Justice when the phone rang. “Triple-B.”
“Jed?”
His breath left his lungs at the sound of Noah’s voice. He hadn’t
heard it since they’d been at the cabin three months ago. Jed was
finally starting to move on. Although he thought of Noah constantly,
the ache had dulled somewhat. “Noah.”
He couldn’t think of anything else to say. His mind was trying to
come up with a reason why Noah would be calling him. They had
both reluctantly agreed that it was better they parted ways and never
contacted each other again. It would make the healing process go
more smoothly.
It had sounded like a good idea at the time, but truth be told, Jed
was miserable as hell. But he wasn’t going to tell Noah that. The
phone call could be harmless. After all, Jed owned the only service
station in town. Though Noah knew how to work on his own car, so
that couldn’t be the reason he was calling.
“I think we need to meet up.”
Jed sighed as he took a seat, trying to bolster his resolve. “I don’t
think that would be a good idea, Noah.”
The line was silent for a moment before Noah said, “Okay, sorry
to bother you.”
Before Jed could ask why Noah had called, the man hung up. He
sat there for what felt like forever, staring at the desk as he
remembered their day at the creek. It had been the most perfect day of
his life.
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Jed hung up the phone and took the paperwork outside where the
new owner was waiting. “Here you go.” He plastered on a smile, all
the while his mind working overtime on why Noah had called.
“He looks like a fine gem,” the man said as he took the manila
folder from Jed. “I can’t wait to start breeding him.”
Jed half listened to the conversation, frustrated at not knowing
what was going on with Noah. He finally took in a deep breath and
then slapped the man on the shoulder. “Justice was a fine choice.”
He walked back over toward the corral, pushing Noah from his
mind.
* * * *
Noah laid his cell phone on the counter, looking over at his dad.
“He doesn’t want to meet with me.”
The man’s jaw clenched tight as he tried to get up with his cane.
Jack had suffered a stroke and Noah had moved back in to take care
of his father. But that hadn’t been the only reason why. It was hard to
keep working at the diner and hide his pregnancy.
“I’ll cut the man’s balls off.”
“No.” Noah fidgeted where he stood, trying to find a degree of
comfort on his swollen feet, pressing his hands into his father’s
shoulders. “To be fair, I didn’t tell him why I was calling.”
“Why not?” Jack asked. “He has a right to know he’s gonna be a
daddy.”
That was true, but it wouldn’t be fair to Jed that Noah was now
responsible for his father. He had no right to ask the cowboy to take
on that burden. The guilt ate away at Noah and he knew he had to tell
Jed about the baby.
“You’re right,” Noah finally agreed. Just because he was having
the man’s child didn’t mean they had to live together. Noah could stay
here and take care of his father while raising the babe. Jed could come
by to see his son or daughter and spend time with him or her.
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He just couldn’t leave the house. Not when he looked like he’d
swallowed an oversized watermelon. Hell, it was bigger than that.
Noah could barely move because he was so big.
Driving was out of the question. He wouldn’t be able to fit behind
the steering wheel and there was no way his dad could drive. An idea
struck him and Noah picked his phone back up.
“Who ya callin?”
“Clayton,” Noah answered. After the incident at the cabin,
Clayton had given Noah his phone number and said to call if he ever
needed anything. Well, he needed Jed.
“Yo, what’s up?”
“Clayton, this is—”
“Just kidding. Leave a message after the tone.”
Noah growled and hung up. What he had to say wasn’t something
he could leave on voice mail. He waddled over to the counter and
grabbed the phone book, looking up the number for the Ugly Broad
Saloon.
“Now who ya callin?”
Noah loved his father to pieces, but the man was chatty as hell at
times. He didn’t blame the guy. After living alone for so long, the
man finally had someone to talk to. And Jack was making up for lost
time. He’d talk about anything from the weather to the gossip around
the trailer park. The man had once had an hour-long conversation
about squirrels.
“I’m calling the bar that Clayton and Harland own.”
“Smart thinking,” his father said. “Order me some wings while
you’re at it. I hear they have the best in the tri-county area.”
Noah’s stomach grumbled at the mention of food. All he seemed
to do was eat these days. The good thing about being pregnant was
the fact that he could use his belly as a tray table. Maybe he would
order one dozen…or four.
“Ugly Broad,” Harland said when he answered the phone. He
wasn’t the person Noah wanted to talk to, but Harland would do.
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“I’d like to order four dozen wings, honey barbeque sauce, three
sides of ranch dressing, and Jedediah Gibbs.”
“Noah?” Harland chuckled. “The first items I can get you. I’m not
too sure about the last one.”
Noah had to think. “Then can you bring me the order?”
“Not a problem. It’ll be nice to catch up with you.”
Boy, was the guy in for a surprise. He gave Harland his dad’s
address before hanging up.
Damn, he forgot to order dessert.
“Wings,” his father said with glee as he smacked his lips. That
was a feat considering once side of Jack’s face had been affected by
the stroke, but Noah smiled nonetheless.
“I get to eat three dozen of them,” Noah said before bending over
and grabbing the back of the couch, twisting this way and that until he
was finally settled on the cushions.
Now he had to pee.
Noah groaned as he began to scoot to the edge of the couch,
grabbing the coffee table and using it to lever himself into a standing
position.
“Where you going?”
“Bathroom.”
“But you just went ten minutes ago.”
“Tell that to the baby pressing into my bladder,” Noah said as he
walked to the back of the trailer.
“If you ask me, you’re having twins,” his father called out. “Yep,
there’s two of them stuck in there. We just have to figure out how
we’re going to pry them out.”
Noah cringed at the idea of twins. Not that he wouldn’t love his
babies, no matter how many he popped out, but taking care of one
while tending to his father was going to be hard enough.
Unfortunately, these days, Noah had to sit in order to pee. He
hadn’t seen his dick in over a month and a half. His belly was that big.
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He was still worried about how he was going to give birth, but
hopefully Harland would explain that to him.
After washing his hands, Noah walked back up front and
struggled to sit back down. Not twenty minutes later, someone
knocked on the door. He was too damn tired to get back up again.
Instead, Noah grabbed the blanket on the couch and covered his belly.
“Come in.”
Noah had no idea how good it would be to see Harland. He
grinned from ear to ear when the man stepped through the door. “My,
you haven’t changed a bit,” Noah said.
Harland gave a low chuckle as he set the bag aside and walked
over to Noah, pulling the man to his feet. Noah shouted, nearly
tipping sideways at the quick launch from the couch.
Harland froze as he gaped at Noah’s belly. The man stood there
silently, his eyes never leaving the roundness. Finally, his gaze
flickered up to Noah’s face. “Does Jed know?”
“He just tried calling the man,” Jack said. “But Jed don’t want
nothing to do with him.”
“Dad,” Noah warned before turning back to Harland. “No, I didn’t
tell him. I wanted to see him face-to-face, but”—he waved a hand at
his body—“since I can’t drive, he needs to come to me.”
Harland seemed fascinated with Noah’s stomach. He reached out,
as if in a trance, and placed the palm of his hand on Noah’s belly. “Do
you know how much Jed wants a family?”
Noah knew. But with his dad having a stroke and taking care of
the man, Noah hadn’t found the time to go see the cowboy. By the
time he had his dad settled in, Noah had become too big to drive.
Hell, the first month of his pregnancy was when Noah had blown up
to epic size. “Yes.”
“Twins,” Harland whispered. “That’s very rare.”
Oh, crap. His dad was right. “Could you just tell Jed that I need to
see him?”
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Harland pulled his cell phone out, dialed, and waited, his hand
never leaving Noah’s belly.
“Jed, I need you out at Jack Cross’s place.”
Harland listened and then his face became a mask of rage. “I don’t
give a shit. You need to haul ass over here, now!”
He listened some more. “Yeah, it’s a matter of great importance.”
Harland hung up, shaking his head. “And I thought Clayton was
stubborn.”
“How’s he been?” It felt good to finally ask that question.
Although Noah had been busy taking care of his father, Jed was never
too far from his mind.
“If you want me to be totally honest,” Harland said, “he’s been a
miserable pain in the ass to deal with.”
Not what Noah wanted to hear. It hurt to be away from Jed, but he
truly wanted the man to be happy. To find out that Jed was just as
miserable as Noah was didn’t bring him any solace. Harland helped
Noah sit back down before heading outside.
“Shit’s about to hit the fan,” Jack said.
“No, it’s not,” Noah argued. “Jed had no idea.”
Jack chuckled. “I’m not talking about for Jed, but for you. That
man is going to tan your hide for keeping this from him for so long.”
Noah ignored his father as he dug into his food. The wings tasted
like heaven. He knew he was making a mess with the sauce, but he
couldn’t stop long enough to wipe his face. Noah was starving.
He paused in his eating when he heard shouting outside. Fuck, Jed
was here. Noah had an urge to run and hide. Correction. Waddle and
hide.
“Just get your fucking ass in there,” Harland shouted before the
door swung open. At first, no one appeared. And then there was a
long shadow on the steps before Jed slowly walked through the door.
Noah found it hard to breathe. He wished to god he’d wiped the
sauce from his face, but it was too late. Jedediah Gibbs was staring
directly at him, or to be more precise, at Noah’s belly.
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The man stumbled to the side, gripping the counter as he paled.
Well, that wasn’t exactly the reaction Noah had been hoping for. Jed
looked like he was on the verge of fainting.
Harland walked in behind Jed, closing the door. “Don’t just stand
there stuck on stupid, go see your mate.”
That one word damn near made Noah cry. He set his wings aside,
tried his best to get the sauce from his face, and then scooted to the
edge of the couch. Ouch, his damn back was killing him.
“How?” Jed whispered.
“If he has to tell you that,” Jack said, “you and me need to have a
long talk.”
Jed walked toward him as if in a dream and then slowly lowered
to his knees. When he reached out to touch Noah’s belly, Noah could
see the man’s hands shaking.
“Hell if I know,” Noah stated, remembering the doctor’s assertion
that if it didn’t take the first time, then he and Jed weren’t mates.
Jack clucked his tongue. “It seems I need to have a talk with you
as well, Noah.”
Noah rolled his eyes. “That’s not what I meant, Dad.”
Jed’s fingers grazed over Noah’s distended belly before his eyes
shot up to Noah’s. The widest grin appeared on his face before it fell,
replaced by a deep scowl. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I’m telling you now,” Noah argued. “Besides—” He went on to
tell Jed and Harland about Jack’s stroke and his long stay in the
hospital. He explained to Jed how he’d been so worried about his
father that he hadn’t noticed the changes at first. That was until his
belly shot out like he had a damn tumor rapidly growing inside of
him.
Jed hugged Noah so tightly that he found it hard to breathe. “Jed,
ease up.”
Jed pulled back, smiling widely. “You’re my mate.”
“Seems so,” Noah said, but he couldn’t find the joy he should be
feeling. “But I can’t leave my dad. He needs me.”
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“Then he’ll move to the ranch with us.”
Noah shook his head. “I can’t ask you to take him on, Jed. That
isn’t fair to you.”
“If you argue with me on this,” Jed said, his hands going right
back to Noah’s belly, smoothing over the roundness, “I’ll spank your
ass after you give birth.” Jed looked at Jack. “Sorry.”
Jack shook his head. “You do what you got to do to drill some
sense into Noah’s head. Those babies need both their daddies.”
“I’ll have Clayton and Bryson help me pack this place,” Harland
said. “We have a small apartment-size loft behind the house where
your dad can stay.” Harland held up his hand when Noah opened his
mouth to argue. “Your pa probably wants to keep some of his
freedom. He doesn’t want to be in a house full of loud men and
screaming kids.”
“The hell I don’t!” Jack shouted. “Just try and keep me away from
my grandkids.”
Harland chuckled. “Fair enough.”
Jed cupped Noah’s face, placing a soft kiss on his lips. “Come on,
baby. You’re coming home.”
Although this hadn’t quite worked out how Noah thought it
would, there was no mistaking the joy that flooded him at the thought
of finally being back in Jed’s arms.
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Chapter Nine
Jed chuckled as he watched Harland scowl. Harland’s mother had
returned when she found out that Noah was having twins. Although
Harland’s mother was a widow, Jed could tell the bear didn’t like the
way Jack was flirting with Renee.
Jed thought the two were adorable together.
“I swear, if he tries to make a move on her, I’ll make him move
out back,” Harland threatened.
“How old are you, five?” Jed asked. “Renee is a grown woman
and can do what she wants.”
“No, she can’t.” Harland pouted as he walked away with Austin in
his arms and Markey on his heels. Jed could only shake his head as he
went upstairs to check on his mate.
He still couldn’t believe that his wish had come true. Noah was
his and he didn’t plan to ever let the man go. The shifter doctor had
come by, shocked that Noah was finally pregnant, until he learned
that Jed hadn’t bitten Noah the first time they’d had sex. The doctor
said that explained everything.
Jed hadn’t known that he had to bite Noah in order for things to
fall into place. It would have saved him and Noah months of agony
had he found this out sooner.
The doctor also confirmed that Noah was having twins. Jed felt
like the luckiest man on the planet as he entered his bedroom. He
came to a stop when he saw Noah on the side of the bed, squatting as
he held the mattress in a death grip. “What are you doing?”
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“Looking for my dick, have you seen it?” Noah nearly shouted at
him. “Going into fucking labor. What in the hell does it look like?”
Noah cried out, pressing his face into the side of the bed.
Jed hurried across the room and lifted his mate from the floor,
placing him on the bed.
“No,” Noah argued. “It hurts to lie down.”
Jed quickly grabbed his phone and called Renee. All he had to do
was tell her that Noah was in labor and she would take care of the
rest. God bless her because Jed was on the verge of panicking. He
shoved a ton of pillows behind Noah, trying his best to make the man
more comfortable.
“Did I say I needed damn pillows?”
Jed was waiting for the man’s head to spin around. Noah clutched
his belly and cried out, kicking his legs this way and that. Jed felt
helpless as hell. He wasn’t sure what to do.
Noah reached up and grabbed Jed by the front of his shirt. “Next
time, you carry the babies!”
“Yeah, sure, okay.” Jed was not about to argue when Noah looked
so demonic. Whatever his mate wanted right now, he was getting.
“Oh, god! Oh, god! Oh, god!” Noah started to shout. “I think
they’re coming.”
“Not yet!” Jed hollered as he held his hands up, like he could stop
the birth of his children with that single gesture. “The doctor has to
get here.”
“Then he better be here in the next five seconds,” Noah cried out.
Jed stood there and watched as the birthing canal began to form. Oh,
fuck. This was really happening.
“Renee!”
“Get your ass over here,” Noah shouted between pants. “Don’t
you dare chicken out on me now.”
“I’m not,” Jed said. “But I’m going to need help. There are two
babies in there.”
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Sweat quickly formed over Noah’s brows and then his entire face.
Jed undressed his mate and then hurriedly grabbed some clean linens
from the closet.
Before Renee crossed the threshold to the room, the first baby’s
head had appeared. Damn, the child wasn’t waiting. Jed had no damn
clue about what he was doing. He’d never delivered a baby before.
Hell, before Austin, Jed had never attended a birth. He hadn’t even
attended Austin’s. Jed had stayed downstairs while Dresden had the
baby.
Now he wished he had stuck around and watched. At least he
would have an idea of what to do.
Renee dropped a dark bag on the bed. “I brought this just in case
the doctor didn’t make it in time.” Jed had no idea what was in the
bag and didn’t care. He just wanted to make sure his children were
born healthy and that Noah made it through childbirth. He’d heard
some horror stories about—why in the hell was he thinking such
morbid thoughts right now?
Harland’s mother was a godsend. She jumped right in, seeming to
know what she was doing. Jed slid in behind Noah, giving his mate
the support he needed—physically and emotionally.
He didn’t know what else to do.
“You got a beautiful princess,” Renee said as she delivered the
first baby. For the first time in forever, Jed felt tears streaming down
his face as he gazed at the gorgeous baby in Renee’s hands.
Harland came in with towels, wrapping the first baby up. The
doctor finally made it and Jed was seven kinds of relieved. Although
he trusted Renee to do an excellent job delivering his children, Jed
was more at ease with a professional taking the wheel.
When the second baby was born, Jed hugged Noah tightly in his
arms. “You did an amazing job, baby.” Noah cried out again. Jed
stilled. “What’s wrong?”
“Oh, my,” the doctor said.
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“Hell, no,” Jed said. “There isn’t an oh my. The deliveries are
supposed to go off without a hitch.” His heart was in his throat as he
worried that something was wrong with his mate.
“It seems this little one was hidden behind the other two.”
Jed felt faint. “Triplets!” he and Noah nearly shouted at the same
time.
“Seems so,” the doctor said. “That’s two girls so far. Let’s see if
we can make that three.”
Jed held Noah close as his mate birthed their third child. When
Jed had prayed for a miracle, he hadn’t expected three babies. He
would need to be a little more specific next time.
“A son,” the doctor announced proudly. “When you defy the laws
of fate, you go all the way.”
No shit.
Renee was beaming as she and Harland tended to the babies while
the doctor worked on Noah. By the time the doctor was finished, both
Noah and Jed were fast asleep.
* * * *
Noah was exhausted as he walked the long, dark hallway. It had
been three weeks since the babies were born and he hadn’t had a full
night’s sleep yet. It was his turn to go make bottles. Jed was passed
out in the rocker in the nursery.
He had no idea taking care of three tiny people could be so hard.
Everyone around here pitched in, but the late-night hours belonged to
Noah and Jed.
Noah dragged his feet, fighting the urge to sit on the steps for just
a few minutes. He knew that if he did, he wouldn’t be getting back up
any time soon. Noah didn’t even bother to turn the kitchen light on.
The overhead above the stove was sufficient. Besides, if he turned the
lights on, he just might wake up.
God forbid that happens.
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Noah grabbed three bottles from the cupboard and the can of
powdered milk. He put the water on the stove to heat and glanced at
the kitchen chair longingly.
Don’t you dare sit down.
He leaned against the counter instead, blinking into the shadows
in the kitchen when a vague memory surfaced. Noah stood there
staring at nothing, his mind trying to show him things that weren’t
familiar to him. He shook himself out of his daze. He must be more
tired than he thought.
Noah turned the fire off under the kettle. As the whistling died
down, he heard something behind him. He curled his fingers around
the handle of the kettle as he turned.
His knees felt weak when he saw Devil standing just inside the
back door. “Think I forgot about you?” the man asked as he leaned
against the frame. “You are a very hard man to track down.”
Noah’s throat grew tight. He wanted to scream, but no noise
would come out.
“I got this sheriff who is investigating me regarding a missing
person by the name of Carl Penton. The same Carl Penton you
watched my boy shove into a trunk. You were the only one to witness
what happened that night. So if the cops are looking at me, then you
must have talked.”
“I–I didn’t say a word.” He finally found his voice. Noah gripped
the kettle tighter, his eyes flickering toward the door that led into the
living room. If he could just get out of the kitchen, he could shout for
help.
“Don’t think anyone is going to save you,” Devil warned. “I was
very careful to make sure all the lights upstairs were out before I came
in. How lucky am I that you were down here making some tea?”
Noah took a step back, hitting the counter when Devil took a step
toward him. “Snitches are not appreciated around these parts.”
“I didn’t snitch!”
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Lynn Hagen
“Now, now.” Devil tsked. “We don’t want to raise voices, do
we?”
Hell yeah. Noah was ready to shout at the top of his lungs until he
caught a shadow out of the corner of his eye.
“My men are upstairs. If you wake anyone, then you’ve cost that
person their life.”
Noah reacted on instinct when Devil rushed him. He lifted the tea
kettle and smacked it over the man’s head before pouring the hot
water on Devil’s face.
Devil howled, holding his face as Noah took off, screaming for
Jed. He was scared shitless that someone was going to be hurt, but he
wanted his mate to protect their children. What if one of those
henchmen slipped into his bedroom and killed his family? Noah felt
like he was going to be sick.
As he reached the top of the stairs, he was tackled from behind.
Noah kicked out, slamming his foot right in Devil’s face. The man
howled as he clutched Noah’s ankles, reeling him backward.
“Jed!” Noah cried out.
His heart raced when he heard gunfire. Noah couldn’t believe this
was happening. Everyone he cared about lived in this home. If anyone
was killed, he would never forgive himself.
With all his might, Noah slammed his foot into Devil’s jaw,
dislodging the man. He turned onto his hands and knees, pushed
himself from the floor, and raced down the hall.
Thank fuck this hadn’t happened when Noah was pregnant. He
would have never gotten away.
When he reached his bedroom door, the air left his lungs. The
door was open and Jed was nowhere in sight. Noah frantically
searched their bedroom and the nursery, finding all three babies
asleep, but Jed wasn’t in there.
Where had he gone?
Noah turned and went back into the bedroom to look for Jed when
Devil entered his bedroom. He had to protect his children. He backed
Lynn Hagen
91
up as Devil advanced. Noah’s eyes bounced all over the room,
looking for something he could use as a weapon.
But before he could find anything, a large, growling bear entered
the room. Noah wanted to cry out in relief. That was until he saw the
blood on Jed’s hindquarter.
His mate had been shot.
There was more noise out in the hallway, like a big bar fight was
taking place, but all Noah could concentrate on was Jed and Devil. He
had to keep the intruder from entering the nursery.
“You picked the wrong house to invade,” Noah said as he inched
closer to where his babies slept. “The only thing worse than a mama
bear protecting her cubs is one pissed-off father.”
Devil’s eyes shot to Jed. “Why in the fuck do you have a bear in
your house?”
“Too late for conversation.” Noah took off into the nursery and
slammed the door closed as he heard a loud roar and a scream from
the other room. He slammed his hands over his ears as he stayed close
to the door. There was no way he was letting Devil in here. He would
fight to the death to protect Sara, Sabrina, and Tyler.
Noah lowered his hands when the noise died down. He was
terrified to look out into the other room. He grabbed the diaper pail
and raised it over his head, hoping to do some sort of damage as the
door swung open.
Noah dropped the pail when Jed walked in, bloody, bruised, and
limping. “Oh, god. You’ve been shot!”
“Grazed,” Jed said as he pulled Noah into his arms and hugged
him tightly. The noise outside their bedroom had ceased as well.
“What happened?”
Jed shook his head. “It’s better you don’t know the details. But the
threat has been neutralized and Sheriff Sparrow is on his way.”
Noah held onto Jed as if his life depended on it and prayed that
this mess was finally over.
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Lynn Hagen
* * * *
Jed balanced Sara and Sabrina in his arms as Noah balanced Tyler
and the oversized diaper bag. It was late spring and this was their first
outing as a family. Harland, Dresden, Markey, and Austin were going
to join them just as soon as they found where Markey had hidden the
truck keys.
The babies were eight months old now and getting into everything
they could get their tiny little hands on. To Jed’s delight, Tyler had
already shifted into his bear form. He knew each child grew at his or
her own pace and couldn’t wait for the day when his daughters shifted
as well.
He couldn’t believe how lucky he’d gotten. A mate and three of
the most precious children in the world. And to think, almost a year
ago Jed had thought he’d lost it all. He had thought that Noah wasn’t
his mate and that he would live out a lonely existence, pining away
for a man he would never have.
Fuck if he wasn’t glad he’d been wrong.
Instead of taking the horses, Jed had driven his family to the spot
he and Noah had shared their very first picnic. The ground was soft,
the air warm, and it was the perfect day to spend outside with his mate
and kids.
After setting the blanket up, Jed grabbed his daughters from the
truck and set them down, careful to make sure they stayed on the
blanket. These days, his children put everything into their mouths.
Noah set Tyler down and then hurried back to the truck for the
food as Jed corralled Sara and Sabrina from crawling away.
“It’s beautiful out today,” Noah said as he set the food to one side.
“Perfect day to show our babies nature.”
Jed couldn’t agree more. He stretched out on his side, pulling Sara
and Sabrina close. When a deer wandered their way, he pointed it out
to the girls.
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93
Tyler shifted, gave a little growl, and tried to go after the animal.
Jed chuckled. “I guess we don’t have to worry about him protecting
his sisters.”
Noah grinned. “I’m pretty sure any boy who even blinks at them
will earn the wrath of Tyler Gibbs.”
“And me,” Jed added. He didn’t even want to think of his baby
girls dating. That was far in their future, like forty years from now. He
still had time to enjoy them before they grew up.
He leaned back, wincing at the graze he’d sustained. Come to find
out, it had been deeper than just a nick. The bullet had severed a nerve
and the doctor said Jed would more than likely always have a slight
limp now.
But he was managing.
Although Sparrow had managed to keep the killings under wraps,
Jed would never fully trust the man. Not when Sparrow wasn’t one of
them. The sheriff had turned a blind eye while Jed and his friends got
rid of the bodies. The man told them that Devil and his cronies would
remain on the missing and persons of suspect in Carl Penton’s
disappearance. Thankfully there was no one to miss some drug
dealers who had disappeared. But Sparrow did all of this
begrudgingly.
Jed knew the man was still freaked about Harland shifting into his
bear form and Dresden giving birth. There was nothing he could do
about that. Just as long as Sheriff Sparrow never told the truth about
the men at the Triple-B, all was good.
Noah jumped up and took off after Tyler when the cub raced
toward the creek. The little tyke was fast. Jed couldn’t be prouder of
his brood of children or his mate.
“I swear, next time you are in charge of Speedy Gonzalez and I’ll
take the girls,” Noah complained as he walked back to them with the
cub tucked under his arm. “He’s getting heavy.”
When Noah sat down next to him, Jed circled his arms around his
mate. “Have I told you that I love you lately?”
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Lynn Hagen
Noah gave him a quick kiss. “I love you, too. But you aren’t
getting out of this one.”
Jed chuckled. He didn’t want to get out of anything where Noah
was concerned. He was the love of Jed’s life and his entire world. The
man had taught Jed how to love again and had opened his heart to the
wondrous possibilities of a life he would forever cherish.
THE END
WWW.LYNNHAGEN.COM
WWW.FACEBOOK.COM/LYNNHAGEN.AUTHOR
LYNNHAGEN@YAHOO.COM
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Lynn Hagen loves writing about the somewhat flawed, but
lovable. She also loves a hero who can see past all the rough edges to
find the shining diamond of a beautiful heart.
You can find her on any given day curled up with her laptop and a
cup of hot java, letting the next set of characters tell their story.
For all titles by Lynn Hagen, please visit
www.bookstrand.com/lynn-hagen
Siren Publishing, Inc.
www.SirenPublishing.com
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