Alice Bailey - Autobiography - Chapter IV







To Netnews Homepage    
Previous     Next 
    Index      Table of Contents





Autobiography of Alice A. Bailey - Chapter IV





It seemed reasonable to me that, "As a man soweth so
shall he also reap," and it was a joy to me to discover [142] that I could call in
St. Paul and Christ, Himself, to substantiate these teachings. Clear light was being
thrown on the old theology. I was discovering that the only thing that was wrong was
man-made interpretations of the truth and it dawned on me how silly it was just because
some learned preacher or scholar said that God meant this or that that we should accept
it. He might be right and if so, intuitively one would know it; but the intuition does not
work unless the mind is developed and that has been a lot of the trouble. The mass of the
people do not think and the orthodox theologian, no matter what he says, can always get a
following. With the best intentions in the world he exploits the unthinking. It dawned on
me, too, that there was really no reason because a priest or teacher six hundred years ago
interpreted the Bible in one way (probably suitable for his time and age) that it should
be acceptable now in a different time and age, under a different civilization and with
widely different problems. If God's truth is truth then it will be expansive and
inclusive, and not reactionary and exclusive. If God is God, then His divinity will adapt
itself to the emerging divinity of the sons of God, and a son of God today may be a very
different expression of divinity from a son of God five thousand years ago.You will
see, therefore, how my whole spiritual horizon was opening up. There was light in the
heavens and I was no longer an isolated, deserted, struggling disciple, sure of nothing
and with nothing to do as far as I could see. It was slowly dawning on me that I was one
of a great company of brothers. It was becoming clear to me that I could cooperate with
the Plan if I wanted to, find those who in other lives had worked with me, see to it that
what I sowed was good and find my place in Christ's work. I could endeavor to approach a
little closer to that spiritual Hierarchy [143] which I had always subconsciously known
existed, and which seemed to need workers.
These were
the things that were being gradually unfolded in my consciousness in 1916 and 1917. They
did not emerge as clear-cut, formulated ideas but as truths which I was slowly
recognizing, to which I was making gradual adjustments and for which I had to find
application. I watched my own life. I studied the three girls in this connection and I
found it most illuminating. I found that my karma with my youngest daughter, Ellison, is
largely physical. I had saved her life with the most assiduous care year after year. For
eight years she slept with me, by the doctor's orders, so she could absorb my vitality.
Day after day by careful watching, by never permitting her to take violent exercise, or
climb a hill, or walk up stairs I conquered the heart trouble until today she is the
strongest member of the family. Ellison shows no sign of needing me now. She is happily
married, lives in India and has two children. I am sure she is proud of me, but our
relationship lies in the past. The link between my eldest daughter and me is exceedingly
close, which is probably why we have such God-awful rows. There is a very strong inner
attachment and though I see little of her now I am sure of her and she is sure of me. My
second daughter, Mildred, has a very close karma with me. We are peculiarly attached and
yet I know she feels entirely free. Even though she has been twice married, we have always
been together under the most peculiar circumstances and I have been grateful for her love
and above all for her friendship. It would be so good if mothers and daughters, fathers
and sons, valued friendship in their relations more than they do. I am confident that if I
could look back into our past relationships under the Law of Rebirth, the present really
happy situation between my three girls and myself would be clearly [144] explained. Do not
infer from this that we always get on. There have been stormy scenes and
misunderstandings. They have not always understood me, and I have often agonized over
them, and wanted to change things, and hoped they would act differently, etc., etc.
It was
towards the close of 1917 that Walter Evans went out with the Y.M.C.A., to France and my
friend, the Bishop, arranged that I should have an allotment of one hundred dollars a
month from his salary. This was sent direct to me by the Y.M.C.A., until his work with
them ceased. This, with my own small income (which was beginning to dribble through more
regularly) enabled me to drop my work as a sardine packer and make other plans. My work
with the Theosophical Lodge in Pacific Grove was having results and I was beginning to get
a little bit known as a student.
It was suggested to me that in view of the fact that my finances were somewhat
stabilized I go down to Hollywood where the headquarters of the Theosophical Society, at
Krotona, were to be found. I decided to make the move and towards the end of 1917 we went
down. I found a small house, close to the T.S. headquarters, and I settled there with the
children, in a cottage on Beechwood Drive.
Hollywood was relatively unspoiled in those days. The movie industry was, of course,
the major industry, but the town remained at that time quite simple. The main streets were
all lined with pepper trees and there was not the breathlessness, the mad rush, the
brittle brilliancy and the glare of modern Hollywood today. It was then a gentler and
sweeter place. I would like to go on record of the lasting impression which I carried away
when I left the town, of the soundness, the kindness, the expansiveness and the
understanding of the leading movie people. I have met many of the movie people and they
are grand and [145] human folk. Of course there is a bad element but I would like to know
in what section of human society you will not find a bad element? There are evil people in
all groups and communities and sets and organizations. There are outstandingly good people
also and people of a dead level mediocrity who have not enough development to be either
very good or very bad.





To Netnews Homepage    
Previous     Next 
    Index      Table of Contents





Last updated Monday, July 6, 1998
          © 1998 Netnews Association. All
rights reserved.