Conquering
Fear
Copyright © 2003 R.W.Kleine
All Rights Reserved
Read the Controversial New Novel
by R.W.Kleine
God’s Committee
The Secret of the Twelve
"Fascinating reading. Very creative, sincere, unusual, and heart-felt."
Joe Vitale - #1 Best-Selling Author - "Spiritual Marketing." Author of far
too many other books to list here
"A most wonderful adventure about our journey home. "God's Committee" will
leave you with a new and different view of the infinite possibilities of the
human spirit. It will leave you wanting more and wanting to do more. It's
absolutely magical"
John Harricharan - Award Winning and Bestselling Author, Lecturer
1
Conquering Fear
Introduction
“I gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in
which I must stop and look fear in the face... . I say to myself, I’ve
lived through this and can take the next thing that comes along... .
We must do the things we think we cannot do.” — Eleanor Roosevelt
What is fear?
Webster’s Dictionary defines fear as:
To be afraid of : expect with alarm
To be afraid or apprehensive
An unpleasant often strong emotion caused by anticipation or awareness of
danger (1) : An instance of this emotion (2) : a state marked by this
emotion.
There seems to be as many types of fear or at it’s worst, phobia, as the
number of situations we humans find ourselves in.
Personally, I’ve experienced the fears of:
Not being good enough
Heights
Rejection
Saying the wrong thing
Abandonment
Failure
Success
And many more.
How about you? Have you ever been really afraid?
Sure you have. We all have, at one time or another experienced fear and in
some cases absolute terror.
Is fear a bad thing?
In many cases it’s not. Isn’t it fear that makes us look both ways before
crossing a busy street? Isn’t it fear of injury or death that makes most of us
use seat belts when we drive?
2
Conquering Fear
There are many examples of fear being a useful and sometimes life saving
tool in the face of potential danger.
There are also those fears that paralyze us. Fears that make us hesitate
when we should move and stop us from doing things that could ultimately
benefit our lives.
For instance, perhaps you were thinking of starting your own business, but
couldn’t get past the perfectly normal fears and uncertainties that accompany
such a major life change.
I'm afraid of failing.
I can’t risk the money.
I’m afraid of what my family and friends will say.
Can I really do this?
You get the picture. Have you ever gone through this meat grinder of the
mind? Probably. I have too and it isn’t pleasant.
So, why is it that some people seem to be able to meet these types of fear
head on and manage to overcome them? Are these people so different then
you and I? Is there something in their makeup that we’re somehow lacking?
Here are two illustrations of what I’m talking about…
In the classic science fiction epic, “Dune”, by Frank Herbert, is a term that
has always gripped my imagination. The term is “fear is the mind killer”.
In an early part of the story, Paul Atreides, the only son of Duke Leto
Atreides, is summoned by his mother. She has a very important visitor. Her
visitor is the Mother Superior of the Bene Gesserit Order, of which Paul’s
mother is a Priestess.
The reason for his summons becomes apparent when Paul is led to a table,
on which sits an ordinary looking green box, with a hole in the top. The hole
is big enough to fit Paul’s hand.
Paul is instructed to put his hand into the box. When he asks what the box
contains, he’s told ‘pain’. He’s told to insert his hand. Paul wants to believe
that his mother wouldn’t allow anything to harm him, but he also knows the
power of the Bene Gesserit Order and the devotion his mother has toward it’s
goals. Paul rightly deduces that his future might depend on the choices he
makes right now.
Paul approaches the box and recites to himself an exercise taught him by his
3
Conquering Fear
martial arts trainer. It begins with:
“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little death that brings
total obliteration. I will face my fear... I will permit it to pass over me and
through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its
path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.
”
Do you face your fear? Do you permit your fear to pass over and through
you? Are you able to defeat it? Or do you, like so many others allow the fear
to defeat you?
Here’s another example:
In the third installment of the Indiana Jones Trilogy, (The Last Crusade), Indi
finds himself standing at the edge of a bottomless chasm. He’s been told
there’s a way across, but he sees none.
Indi knows that he must get to the other side or his father will die. So, he
steps out, disregarding the common human fear of falling to a horrifying
death.
His courage and faith are rewarded when his foot descends into what looks
like thin air but falls upon a bridge. The bridge across the precipice has been
hidden by optical illusion.
These are fictional characters, of course, confronting fictional obstacles, but
don’t we all face the fear of what’s around the next corner? What will happen
if I make the wrong decisions? Will my business be a success? Can I really
succeed? If I am a success, can I handle it? Am I good enough to compete?
Fear of the unknown.
What we do when faced with these “fear” situations, often determines how
we step into our future. Do we walk in fear because we are unable to accept
risk and failure?
Can we trust enough in our dreams and abilities to make that all important
first step through and beyond the fear? Do we have enough faith in
ourselves?
“Fear is the mind killer.” Fear can also be the killer of hopes and dreams.
What you are about to read are the extraordinary stories of some of the most
successful men and women on the Internet today and also some everyday
men and women, like you and me.
4
Conquering Fear
They have agreed to bare their souls to you, in order to help you understand
they have all come, at one point or another, to stand before the precipice. To
risk the pain of failure.
They’ll tell you their stories and explain how they managed to look their fears
in the eye and take that step beyond the fear and into the unknown.
Are they a different breed? Is it something genetic that allows some to move
on and others to freeze?
What have you done when faced with the fear of failure, or the fear of taking
a risk? Have you, like so many, been frozen into inaction by the thought of
what might happen in the future?
We should all thank these remarkable people for being kind and generous
enough to share stories that show, among other things, that they are all too
human, just like the rest of us.
The difference? Their willingness to move ahead, when many of us would
hesitate, and in our hesitation lose the opportunities waiting for us, right
there, on the other side of the chasm.
All we need do is take that first step. As frightening as it may seem. That one
small leap of faith.
5
Conquering Fear
“Dreams, visions, ideas can play significant roles in our lives.
They can entice, entertain, or inspire us to greatness. To
bring them into reality, however, we must act! Cowardice
and lack of faith can keep one from a chosen goal, but if
the heart is strong and brave, you can add action to your
dreams and make them real.” — Sir John Templeton
6
Conquering Fear
Rick Beneteau
Rick graduated high school and went directly into business managing a dry-
cleaning shop that he eventually bought and built into successful multi-store
operation. Involved in the music and advertising industries throughout this
time, Rick was responsible for the creation of many national advertising
jingles and still consults larger companies on convention production. An
internationally recorded and released songwriter, he sold his dry-cleaning
business in 1991 to pursue these other interests which included overseeing
the start-up of Ocean Records Canada.
In late 1996, Rick logged on to the Internet for the very first time. The
challenge to conquer what he refers to as the "Wild, Wild Web" was too great
to resist. 1998 found him one of the pioneers of the 2-Tier Affiliate Program
now so prominent on the Internet with the highly touted and successful I.D.
IT! Plates Partner Program. He also began writing business articles in a style
still not seen very often on the Internet. His friendly, wit-driven articles soon
filled the pages of most of the prominent ezines and newsletters. Rick's first
e-book entitled "The Ezine Marketing Machine" was released October/99 and
has since become an Internet-wide best-seller. Rick has just released what is
destined to remain another top-seller, Branding YOU and Breaking the Bank.
The New Millennium finds the 47 year-old busy with the growing of his
Internet company, Interniche.net , his "E-chievement" Ezine - The Mirror, his
two powerful 2-Tier Affiliate Programs - EZineMoney , BrandingYourself.com,
Power-Publicity and the I.D. IT! Plates Partner Program as well as the start
up of 2 new affiliate programs.
Know No Fear!!
The Greatest Wonders of the World we'll never know for they were destroyed
before they were even built by the great enemy of man - Fear!
That's my take on Fear but here's some notable and famous quotes:
"Our deepest Fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest
Fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness
that most frightens us."
Nelson Mandella from his inaugural speech
And one of the most insightful figures of all time sums up Fear in his normally
humoristic manner:
"I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually
7
Conquering Fear
happened."
Mark Twain
Perhaps the most famous quote of all about Fear, and the one that hits home
hardest with me, is this:
"The only thing we have to Fear is Fear itself."
Franklin D. Roosevelt
I will continue along the thoughts of what is a most profound truth about
Fear:
"To live with Fear and not be afraid is the final test of maturity."
Edward Weeks
The reason I decided to use "quotes" throughout this article is to fortify the
fact that Fear is nothing but an Illusion.
It is imagined, as a dream is. But at least we wake up from a dream. Most
people fall into Fear and remain frozen in its giant grasp all their lives! They
either live in a constant state of paralyzing Fear or they have lowered their
expectations to a level that they never feel Fear because they have "learned"
not to risk and grow. How sad!
Fear is the minds great mortal sin.
And isn't it just at times when you have to risk something, that you Fear?
Think about it! You've had a great idea but you don't tell a soul because
you're afraid THEY won't think it's great. You've had long time aspirations to
change careers but you cower at the mere thought of getting out of your
Comfort Zone and out from under the safety net you've created for yourself
(your job, your security, your routine). You've always wanted to start a
business but the thought of putting together a business plan, getting
financing and the unknown quantity of the income you'll receive scares the
hell out of you!
How many opportunities have you allowed to slip by because you were frozen
by Fear?
Do you know more about the things you Fear than the things you desire?
Is the Fear of failure your biggest Fear of all?
Recognizing Fear!
8
Conquering Fear
Not a single person has ever accomplished anything of significance without
first feeling scared to death!
You recognize your own tell tale signs of Fear. Might be a knot in your gut. Or
a high state of anxiety. A flood of negative thoughts rush in and all the
reasons NOT to do something hover over you like an ominous black cloud!
The truth is, behind that cloud lay bright beautiful sunlight ready to nourish
and grow your idea.
Fear is a loaded gun squarely aimed to slay you and all your potential. You
need to be on-guard every waking moment to deflect the invisible bullet.
"Fear is the oldest and strongest emotion of mankind."
H. P. Lovecraft
Fear is the cancer of the human spirit.
Confronting Fear!
How many times have you had to, say, appear publicly to speak at a meeting
or wedding, or attend traffic court, and you were just consumed by dreaded
thoughts of the pending event for days in advance? And when it was all over,
a huge burden was lifted from your shoulder? The event went wonderfully
without a hitch.
That folks, is the false load of Fear you "allowed" to invade and dominate
your mind. All for nothing and what needless suffering and a complete waste
of life energy!
Fear is the imaginary mountain that hides the horizon.
The moment you feel Fear - face it - and eject it - instantly!
Every time you feel the invisible foe injecting it's venom into your thoughts -
STOP!! And YOU re-take control of your thinking process. Outa here! Fear is
false, and evil! What you imagine will never come to pass. That's ALWAYS the
reality so why even think those thoughts?
Learn and practice this, for when has what you Feared ever become your
reality?
Fear is the greatest inhibitor to the progress of mankind.
9
Conquering Fear
"Fear is excitement without breath."
Robert Heller
Conquering Fear!
You and I will always feel Fear. The key is to not feel it for long. Split seconds
of time actually. It's a matter of twisting the irrational emotion into a usable
force for the betterment of our own lives.
Make Fear your Motivator! The moment you begin to feel Fear, immediately
turn it into the fuel you need to keep your fire raging! You feel Fear almost
always when something is "worthy" of the invading of your comfort zone.
Like risk for a much greater gain! Begin to recognize that the dark feeling of
Fear is in almost all cases a prelude to a brighter future.
Look at it this way, if you DON'T feel Fear over a particular situation, then it's
not significant enough to warrant your consideration. That's how powerful an
indicator Fear is! And that's all Fear should ever be!
At most, let Fear be but just that momentary Storm before the Calm. USE
Fear instead of allowing it to use YOU.
Let Fear Fortify, not cripple you!
"Do the thing you Fear to do and keep on doing it... that is the quickest and
surest way ever yet discovered to conquer Fear."
Dale Carnegie
"Fear is met and destroyed with courage."
James F. Bell
Fear and Ice Cream?
If we only opened our minds a little more often we would see a limitless
source of strength in our children. Children are wise beyond belief as they
Know No Fear! I ask you to take a little more of your time right now to read
the true story of a brave young girl named Teri. The Ice Cream 'Comb' Story
is very close to my heart and a continual source of strength for me. See, the
story is about my daughter:
mailto:icecream@interniche.net?subject=TheIceCreamCombStory
The Ice Cream Comb Story is also included at the back of this eBook.
Fear and Prayer?
10
Conquering Fear
I wish to close this article by sharing with you what I believe is the "required
equipment" to fight and beat Fear once and for all. Essentially, that is a core
belief system centered on those things we both deserve and should strive for.
I was able to express how I felt about this in an article called The
Entrepreneurs Prayer, which I invite you to not only read, but also really
think about:
mailto:prayer@interniche.net?subject=TheEntrepreneursPrayer
The Entrepreneur’s Prayer is also included at the back of this eBook.
I can not express how I feel about Fear, or rather the freedom of living
without Fear, more effectively than E. E. Eddison:
"He without Fear is king of the world."
My wish for you is to Know No Fear!
Be Fearless, and Flourish!
2002 Rick Beneteau
Rick is the highly acclaimed author of 3 top-selling eBooks:
http://www.interniche.net/ebooks.htm
He is also the purveyor of those famous 'traveling billboards'
called I.D. IT! Plates:
Subscribe FREE to Rick's popular E-chievement Ezine -
The Mirror:
Mailto:subscribe@themirrorezine.com
11
Conquering Fear
"Fear less, hope more;
Whine less, breathe more;
Talk less, say more;
Hate less, love more;
And all good things are yours."
-Swedish Proverb
12
Conquering Fear
Robin Bryant
Today is April 7
th
. My 29
th
birthday. Three weeks ago I was diagnosed with
MS (Multiple Sclerosis).
I was told that I’ve had it since I was 18 years of age. My fear is that I will
die young and leave my 9 year old daughter without a mother.
I have just overcome cervical cancer 2 years ago and now I was hit with this.
It is very scary, but I am overcoming the fear and fighting with everything I
have.
I have been in a wheelchair since October of 2001 but in one week I will have
braces and will be able to walk and out of the wheelchair.
I take life day by day now and cherish every moment I have with my family.
13
Conquering Fear
"Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're
supposed to help you discover who you are".
- Bernice Johnson Reagan
14
Conquering Fear
Sheila Cain
Wow! I'm not alone out there.
I've been on the Internet trying to make money most of the time since early
1997. I tried a lot of things and failed miserably at all. It wasn't that I
wasn't smart or didn't have the drive. It was my horrible fear of rejection.
One very costly program that I was in (that ruined me financially) seemed to
make that fear I had even worse.
My "self-proclaimed" mentor made it an almost daily practice to beat me up
by email. Nothing was ever good enough. I was told that I would never
have what it takes to make it. And I started buying into his B.S.
I grew up (at a less than tender age) just trying to pull myself out of the
financial disaster that I had let fear get me into.
Well....NO MORE! I'm a little older and a lot wiser. I'm not afraid to send out
follow ups, in fear that I might offend someone. I'm like, so what if I get
rejected on my offer, it has nothing to do with me personally. And not just
in the Internet Business, but in LIFE!
My fear taught me that there is no reason to worry about things you have no
control over anyway. What's gonna happen (like rejection) is gonna happen.
So I got over it.
Thanks for letting me vent on this.
Sheila Cain
15
Conquering Fear
"Knowledge is the antidote to fear." -ralph waldo emerson
16
Conquering Fear
Asunta Covelli
Hello, here is the story of my fears:
I had a fear of the elevator ever since I was a small child. Afraid that I would
get stuck and no one would ever find me. My mind made me believe that the
elevator would start going out of control going at rapid speeds up and down
without stopping, flames would spark and I would starve to death in there
dehydrate, loose oxygen due to no circulation of air and die, So I avoided
elevators for years and took the stairs. Even if I had to walk 40 flights I
would do it.
Until one day, I took the stairs as usual and something happened. There
were endless stairs , it seemed like more than one hundred flights of them.
When I got to the level I needed to exit at, the door was locked and would
not open. So I began going down flight by flight and all the doors in the
stairwell were locked, you could open them to get in the stair well but they all
locked from behind you, and you couldn’t get back out. I began to sweat, I
couldn’t breath, I was dying of thirst, and crying. About a half an hour later I
began banging on the door screaming until someone finally heard me, and
opened the door, I was released.
It was then that I realized it did not matter if I was in the elevator or not,
anything can happen anywhere at anytime and I am not in control of these
situations. By being subjected to a form of my worst fear I was forced to face
it.
By facing my fear it also made me realize that I need to concentrate on what
to do in a situation rather than anticipating the end. I now can go inside
elevators, but before I do I remind myself that there is an emergency alarm
button in the elevator if I get stuck and it helps.
17
Conquering Fear
"I believe... that living on the edge, living in and through
your fear, is the summit of life., and that people who refuse
to take that dare condemn themselves to a life of living
death." - John H. Johnson
18
Conquering Fear
Scott Covert
Scott Covert was born in Peterborough, a mostly harmless city 80 miles east
of Toronto, Ontario. His stumbling direct marketing journeys began in 1990
when he graduated from University, and finally culminated in the discovery of
how to use banner ads to help his clients make money from their websites
(over $2,500,000 so far):
and more recently creating
http://www.freemarketingvideos.com
marketing tools in the form of video tutorials which the public can download
and watch for free.
I believe that all human decisions are emotional decisions. It's not only
important to understand that as a marketer, trying to convince people to
make decisions, but it's also important to "know thyself" when it comes to
emotions.
I've had fear loom over me many times in my entrepreneurial career. But the
even greater fear, which was always WORSE, was the fear of a lifetime of
working for other people and ending up with nothing for myself. So you
might say one fear eventually conquered the other.
The very last time I had a job was in 1993. When the job ended, I had the
fear of not being able to replace my income with my self-employment
income. That fear turned out to be true, more or less. Eventually I was faced
with the daunting fear of having to move back in with my parents in
Peterborough because I could not afford to live in Toronto. This also came
true (health problems created primarily by stress played a huge role). Moving
back in with my parents in turned out to be a blessing in disguise, as I
immediately had a "miraculous" recovery in several aspects of my health.
AND, 2 weeks after I moved back, I woke up one morning with my appendix
possibly near the bursting point. Unlike Toronto, I had people around me to
take me to a hospital right away when my life could have been on the line.
Funny how the things you fear can turn out to be no big deal - perhaps a
blessing in disguise - or even save your life. Or simply help you along some
detours you didn't even realize you NEEDED to take, to get to your own
definition of "a successful life".
In the end, by mid-1998 my fear of spending a lifetime working for other
people had won the day - it had been stronger than all my other fears. I was
making more money than I ever had before, moved into an apartment, met
19
Conquering Fear
the nicest girl I've ever known, and now (about May 15 2002) I'm moving
into a new house that they're building for me right now (literally).
Wanna see some pictures? :-)
20
Conquering Fear
“Courage is the power to let go of the familiar.” - Raymond
Lindquist
21
Conquering Fear
Jim Edwards
Jim Edwards is a dynamic and entertaining speaker who has developed,
marketed and operated outrageously profitable online businesses for both
himself and his clients worldwide since 1997.
, a syndicated newspaper column
helping “non-technical” people use the Internet for both fun and massive
profits!
Jim is a frequent guest speaker nationally at conferences and seminars on
such subjects as search engine and directory traffic generation, “shoestring
online marketing” and more.
He is the author and co-creator of numerous highly successful e-books and
“info-products”, including:
"The Lazy Man's Guide to Online Business"
How to Work Less... get Paid More... and have tons more Fun! Learn the
Super “Lazy Achiever” Mindset!
http://www.getmoredonefaster.com
"How to Write and Publish your own eBook... in as little as 7 Days"
"How to write and publish your own OUTRAGEOUSLY Profitable eBook in as
little as 7 days - even if you can't write, can't type and failed high school
English class!"
“33 Days to Online Profits"
Finally, the First Practical, Step-By-Step, Roadmap for Internet Success No
Matter What Product or Service You Sell... 100% Guaranteed!"
http://www.33daystoonlineprofits.com
“Selling Your Home Alone”
“The TEN Dirty Little Secrets of Mortgage Financing”
http://www.mortgageloantips.com
Jim lives in Williamsburg, Virginia with his wife and four dogs. He enjoys
writing, walking, traveling and listening to Frank Sinatra and Willie Nelson
CD’s.
Overcoming the fear of “Putting out a lot of effort and getting no reward”
22
Conquering Fear
One of the biggest fears I've had to overcome in marketing online and
building my Internet businesses from zero to a nice full time living is the fear
of expending hours, days, weeks and sometimes even months of effort on a
particular project and having all that effort go to waste! My fear is that I’ll go
through all this work, ignore my family, skip doing fun things and then, when
I’m supposed to reap the benefits, nothing will happen. It will have all gone
for nothing.
Despite your best efforts at preparation and research, when you create a
quality ebook, online course, e-class or some other online business, you do
take a risk that the effort you expend may not come back to you the way you
want it to - specifically in the form of money or more business! Sure, there
are certain things, such as market and consumer research, you can do to
reduce your risk and thus your fears. But ultimately, just like any business,
there is risk. In this case, you are risking your time and money that you will
be able to create a product and market it in such a way that you will make
back all your money and produce a large profit for the amount of time
invested.
The problem is that if you only have a very limited amount of time to invest
in your business, say only an hour or two in the evening, the perceived risk is
even higher. Why? Because in one or two hours a night you can usually only
devote your time to one project… and this creates an urgency or a feeling of
“that project better make it or else!”
That “make it or break it” urgency creates feelings of fear that can immobilize
you.
When I was working 50 to 55 hours a week for somebody else, it was hard to
get myself over the fear of potentially wasting the free time I could spend
with my family. At times this fear of “wasting” time (I didn’t look on it as
“investing” time back then) and not getting anything in return was so
overwhelming that it paralyzed me from taking any action at all.
I don't know when the transformation happened, but the way I overcame this
fear (and the way I overcome it to this day) is to find many different positive
outcomes for every action I take. I look at my time as an “investment” and I
list off as many different ways I’ll benefit as possible by passing through my
fear with positive action.
Doing so takes away the "gambling" feeling of devoting my time to
something I'm expecting (or need) a huge pay off from. I know I’ll get some
great rewards for taking action because I’ve listed them all off.
23
Conquering Fear
When I write an ebook I fully expect to make tens-of-thousands of dollars
over the course of the book’s lifetime. But I also know that an ebook can
flop, despite the best research and market study efforts. So now, when I set
out to write in ebook, an article, or even just take the time to help someone
with a lot of extra effort that doesn't have a guaranteed payoff, I start by
making a list of all the benefits I know I will receive. This eliminates all fear
in me and builds a strong sense of anticipation that actually makes me attack
the problem or task that much faster and energetically.
Let's say for example I’m writing an ebook that I'm not 100% certain will sell
in huge numbers. I’ve done all the research and I’ve done all the market
studies and my gut tells me I should move forward. When I move forward I
know that the worst thing that will happen is that I will __________.
Whatever it is I just fill in the blank.
It might be that I will learn some new skills I can apply to my business. It
might be that I will create content that at least my subscribers can benefit
from. Whatever it is… I know I will get a compelling outcome from the effort.
One of my favorite ways to overcome this fear is to say right up front, "this
will make the basis of a great article for my subscribers". I know that no
matter what happens, I can write up the results and share them with my
subscribers as an excellent value-added article they can use to make their
business better. Distributing this type of content always helps my business
and builds my reputation with them.
So if you ever find yourself gripped by the fear of expending lots of effort and
not getting anything in return, simply list off all the different rewards you'll
get from making a quality effort… and you will surely obtain many of them.
In reality, all those “rewards” will motivate you to take all the steps
necessary in order to obtain those rewards you’ve pictured so clearly in your
head. You’ll build up such emotional momentum that, in the vast majority of
cases, not only will you overcome your fear, but you will surpass the goals
you set for yourself! You’ll even surpass that huge goal that made you afraid
to take effort in the first place.
It happens to me all the time.
The solution is to get your mind off the fear and on to all the rewards of
taking quality, consistent, immediate action on the thing you're afraid of
risking your valuable time on. I find this technique works especially well for
24
Conquering Fear
larger projects that most people are too scared to undertake, even though
they’re fully qualified to do those and much more.
25
Conquering Fear
“Having the world’s best idea will do you no good unless you
act on it. People who want milk shouldn’t sit on a stool in the
middle of a field in hopes that a cow will back up to them.”
— Curtis Grant
26
Conquering Fear
Frank Garon
I spent over 15 years driving a truck for a living. My wife and I spent over
$10,000 trying all kinds of different home based businesses. Nothing worked.
We wound up going bankrupt before things got better.
But, once we got exposed to the correct way to do Internet Marketing, things
changed fast.
I was able to quit my job, and come home to work full time on August the
4th, 1997. I went from making $14.25 an hour to making over $130,000 a
year - not bad for someone who went broke at one point.
Now, let me say this - after going thru all I did, I am the last person in the
world who is going to try to rip you off, or give you bad advice.
I am an average person who figured out all this crazy Internet stuff - and I
am very happy to share what I know with you. You won't get hype or a big
sales pitch.
My fear of the telephone, speaking to people and my fear of rejection,
especially in Network Marketing could have broken me. I had to get
past it.
To this day I hate calling leads, but that's the business and it's making
me a ton of money. Fear is good. Fear keeps you from getting electrocuted.
Fear keeps you from doing stupid things, but you can't let fear paralyze
you either.
I never knew that I could do this. The fact that I'm actually here doing this
is a goof because I'm nobody special. As a matter of fact, the only thing
special about me is that I didn't quit. I did not give up. I didn't talk myself
out of it. That's all I did differently.
Fear is always with you. I have a fear that this might all be over with
tomorrow. I have a fear that my brand of selling and relating to people
might not always work. I have a fear that my own limitations, my way
of doing things might actually be slowing me down. I have a ton of
fears.
You're always going to have fear. You make your piece with it, you deal with
it and then you just move on. I mean some of the biggest heroes have been
the most frightened at the time they became heroes.
I mean look at Niki Lauda, the formula one race car driver. In a race in
27
Conquering Fear
Germany in 1976, his car spun out and hit a wall. The car caught fire and he
was basically deep fried. They thought he was going to die. He was scarred
and disfigured. Here's a guy that was on death's door and three weeks later
he was back racing.
If you want a guy to look up to as hero, that guy had to be scared to death to
get back in that car, but he did it. Then, not only did he get back in that race
car, but in his first race it was raining and he stopped the car. He said he
didn't feel safe doing it and that he wasn't going to finish the race. Which
took more guts? Getting back in the car only three weeks after he was almost
burned to death, or having the courage to stop in the middle of the race
because he didn't feel comfortable under those conditions?
Or take someone like Thomas Edison. Do you know how many inventions
he came up with? Do you know how many people told him he was nuts and
no good?
Or my grandmother, who raised five kids on her own, back in the 1950's
when most people in her situation would have given the kids up to the
foster care system. These are the kinds of people I look up to.
All of these people had to deal with their fears.
I'm not big on hero worship. Show me the average person who dealt with
their fears and made it big or did something with their life and that's who I'm
going to emulate.
How about Mark McGuire, the baseball player. He's not a hero for what he did
as a hitter. I look up to him because, here's a guy who found out that his
child was seriously ill. You think he didn't have fear? What he did though, was
embrace the problem and start a foundation to try to find a solution to it.
So, one thing about fear is, if you think you're the only person in the world
feeling this way, you're wrong. Look around and you'll see people who are
facing and dealing with similar or worse things every day. Reading and
learning and talking to others who are going through these feelings will help
you face your fears.
Nobody wants to talk about these things. Lets admit that we have these
feelings. Lets admit that we're scared sometimes. Let's admit that we're
vulnerable. Let's admit that we're imperfect. The more I admit my faults
and my frailties, the better I get as a person and as a businessman.
If you're in business, you've got to be about yourself and about making
money. You've got to be about putting yourself in the spotlight. You just can't
28
Conquering Fear
believe what pushing yourself out there creates in your life.
It goes back to when I was a truck driver. The greatest thing I ever did was
drive a truck. I was shy, quiet, never wanting to ask for anything and always
unsure of myself. But, when you're driving a truck that's hauling a 48 foot
trailer that together weigh almost 80,000 pounds, you’d better know where
you're going. You'd better have confidence in your abilities. It's a dangerous
job and you could kill somebody. I learned how to ask for help and direction
and to put myself out there.
Some people look at me and the success I've had at making money on the
Internet and call me their hero. I'm no hero.
There are lot's of people who have to have incredible courage just to get out
of bed in the morning. People like my Aunt Pat, who has MS and is confined
to wheelchair. She's got three kids. She's got dignity, she's got a sense of
humor, she's got honor and she's got family that loves her.
She stuck in that chair and odds are, she's never getting out. That's courage.
That's a true hero.
Getting back to what fears I had to face in Network Marketing, they were the
fear of the telephone, the fear of rejection and the fear of being a failure in
the eyes of my wife and kids.
So, here I was. I had all these leads to call. I thought to myself, I hate
the telephone and I hate speaking to people on it. I stood up. I paced the
floor. I was scared. Now it was push come to shove. I had to execute. I
knew if I quit I'd be a loser and I also knew if you don't quit you'll eventually
make it. You will. If you don't quit - you will make it.
It's all about perspective. Can your fears of making a phone call or of being
rejected compare to the fears of people who're facing life threatening and life
altering situations every day? Of course they can't.
So just do it and every time you do it gets easier. The fear goes away.
Frank Garon is webmaster and owner of
29
Conquering Fear
“To know what is right and not do it is the worst cowardice.”
- Confucius
30
Conquering Fear
Frank Giambarresi
I'd love to say that my story is a one of having realized my goals in life
though having already overcome my fears. But that's not so.
If only I could say that I was well down the road of self-actualization. I mean
after sixty years of working on it, you'd think I could at least lay claim to
that.
Nope!
Did I just "Think and Grow Rich" for the first time? No, I probably did that
about 25 years ago. Did I just acquire the job skills that will propel me
toward my goals. No, I've been involved in public performance and
speaking since I was a kid.
So what was missing? Commitment? Well yes, but also one other far more
important ingredient. Conquering my most debilitating fear. Not the fear of
failure, but its even more insidious counterpart: the FEAR OF SUCCESS.
You see, I have left behind a number of failures. But I've also left a sting of
significant successes. At least they were rated as successes in other peoples
eyes. But I was AFRAID to see them as successes myself.
So I built a shell of perfectionism around my psyche to protect myself from
becoming "successful". Others could see my accomplishments as successes if
they wanted to, but I KNEW BETTER. I knew what I could have done more
completely, or more skillfully, or more whatever. And, of course, since that
was my thought mode, my subconscious played its part by helping me to do
less than what I considered acceptable.
But that was then, and this is now. At sixty, unemployed, and with nary a
nibble in the job market, I really have little choice but to carve out my own
niche in the wonderful world of entrepreneurship. Or, more correctly,
infopreneurship.
Yes, I've finally decided to believe what my speech evaluators in
Toastmasters have been telling me for several years. I've finally made a
conscious decision to believe that I really am worthy of success, and all that
comes with it. I've finally chosen to accept the trophies that I've won and the
accolades that I've attained for just what they are.
And I can now believe that this isn't some kind of false bravado, it's not an
ego trip, it's an accurate appraisal of who I am and what I am. And it is a
necessary starting point.
31
Conquering Fear
So last night, as part of a speech, delivered in front of an audience that
included Toastmasters district officers, I set forth a dream that I have kept
hidden for years. The dream that I will one day stand before audiences of
hundreds, and even thousands, sharing with them something that will be of
real help in their own lives.
WOW!! I actually said it. And now, of course, I MUST do it. And, I WILL
do it. Starting right now. Starting with writing a couple of special reports on
speaking and self-expression and getting something up on my new website
within the next week or so.
Not, or so, NEXT WEEK. PERIOD!!!
Right on!
Frank Giambarresi
32
Conquering Fear
Many of us have the right aim in life. We just never get
around to pulling the trigger. — Anonymous
33
Conquering Fear
Cathy Goodwin, Ph.D.
When the United States had a military draft, men with "4F" status were
banned from military service. Some cherished the designation while others
felt cheated out of the experience.
If you're seeking career freedom, you may feel blocked by the 3F's: Fear,
Focus and Finances -- and you can change your 3F status to the fourth F,
"Forward!"
Fear comes from giving up a cherished identity. Once you move to a new
career, you have to find a new way to say, "I am" with pride and excitement.
What will your former colleagues say? How will your family greet the new
you? And how do you feel about trading in your "senior seasoned" identity for
the role of a stumbling beginner?
The risk is real. After starting a business or spending a few years in graduate
school, you are no longer the same person. Your old career neighborhood
changes, too. Returning home may no longer be an option.
You overcome this block by learning to recognize fear as a powerful ally
rather than a threat. Work with and through the fear.
Focus requires you to choose a meaningful goal and then to avoid the siren
call of your previous life. If you have wisely chosen to remain in a job while
exploring your options, you must resist getting caught up in the politics and
reward system of a world where you are no longer a citizen. You may need to
find the inner resources to keep going, while sustaining the motivation and
excitement of your new world.
Focus requires learning time management skills and creating a career-related
support system. A coach can help you feel less alone during the early stages.
Finally, financial blocks are real, not psychological. I recommend a new way
to inventory all your resources, not just money. Sometimes a unique skill or
a dynamite network can substitute for a bulging savings account.
At the same time, face your own tolerance for financial uncertainty. Some
people sleep soundly with a zero-balance checking account, trusting the
universe to pay the rent. Others get nervous when their checking account
falls below five figures -- to the left of the decimal point.
34
Conquering Fear
After years of researching and working with transitioners, I believe the
complexities boil down to transforming yourself from 3-F to F-M: Forward-
Moving.
As you work through each block, you gain a powerful burst of energy and
insight. To change metaphors, think of moving a boulder off your ravel lane
on a highway. Now nothing stops you from moving full speed ahead! You
need your rear view mirror only to see how far you've come.
Cathy Goodwin, Ph.D. author, career coach, speaker
"Helping mid-career professionals move to career freedom"
http://www.movinglady.com/coaching.html
Nine magic keys to career freedom
http://www.movinglady.com/freedombook.html
Ezine: Career Freedom Ezine
35
Conquering Fear
“We are face to face with our destiny and we must meet it
with a high and resolute courage. For us is the life of action,
of strenuous performance of duty; let us live in the harness,
striving mightily; let us rather run the risk of wearing out
than rusting out.” — Theodore Roosevelt
36
Conquering Fear
John Harricharan
John is the award-winning author of the bestseller, "When You Can Walk on
Water, Take the Boat," and the creator of the ground-breaking "PowerPause"
system for success. Websites at
Membership site at
http://www.enterprisingspirit.com
http://www.mindmarketing.com/picturepages.html
"Fear is Usually Frightening"
When my good friend, Bob Kleine, asked me to write a very special article
about "Fear", I readily agreed. Bob wanted me to tell his readers about a
time in my life when I experienced one of my greatest fears. Furthermore, he
asked if I could also share what I did to overcome that fear.
There are certain scenes and circumstances in life that seem to have been
arranged by others with much more intelligence than I could ever credit
myself for. One such situation was my marriage to the princess of my
dreams. From the first day that I saw her, I knew that there was a bond
between us that spanned time, distance, social position, and all earthly
obstacles.
We had met each other many years prior to our marriage. Though we were
later to be separated by great distances, we finally met again and were
married. At the time of our marriage, she was only nineteen, and the joy of
my life. Together, we built a beautiful partnership and met the ups and
downs of life with strength and determination.
With her by my side and with her constant encouragement, I was able to
create a semblance of financial security. After the children came, we were
even happier and looked forward, even more so, to the future. But sadly, the
cold winds of misfortune began to blow across our lives.
Slowly at first, and then with ever-increasing speed, I lost my business and
all of our financial security. It was as if the winter of my life had begun.
Mardai, whose very name means, "light," became the source of illumination
that guided me through the darkness that followed.
We lost our home and land and most of our material possessions. With our
two children we finally moved to a new city and started to rebuild our lives
from ground zero. I thought that we had suffered enough, but our financial
losses were nothing compared to what was to happen next. My greatest fear
had come upon me.
On a regular visit to the doctor, Mardai discovered that she had cancer. It
37
Conquering Fear
took a while to become adjusted to such disastrous news. Mardai's battle with
cancer was a long and terrible one. Although she fought bravely, she could
not prevail, and I lost the light of my life one beautiful, bright, summer's day.
We had been married for twenty years, and I had no idea how I would
continue in life without her.
As I stood there that July day holding my two children close to me, the
emptiness within me was so horrible that all I could think of was the biblical
reference to "Is there no balm in Gilead? "
"Fear" is a strange beast. In some ways, it serves as our protector,
preventing us from leaping over tall buildings or jumping in front of speeding
cars. In other ways, it shakes us to the bone and brings us to a point where
all we can do is tremble and cry and cringe in the corner. Yet, "Fear" has
much more in common with "Hope" than we might want to believe.
Both "Fear" and "Hope" usually are in the same place. They are like two pilots
on the runway, ready for takeoff. However, one pilot is heading north and the
other is flying south. Fear is saying, "This is the end. My life is over. I cannot
go on any longer. I cannot get over the loss of my partner, the loss of my
business and home."
Ever so quietly, ever so tearfully, "Hope" is saying, "This is bad, really bad.
But there is a much better plan for all concerned. One day, we'll see the
wisdom and beauty of the plan." And though a part of me wanted to scream
in pain, another, much wiser part told me that things are not always what
they seem to be. So with "Hope" at my side, "Fear" could not take my entire
being away from me.
In the days that followed, my thoughts would run races between the sublime
and the ridiculous. "Fear" was my constant companion. I was afraid for my
children because they no longer had a mother. I was afraid for myself
because I did not know how I was going to raise two children alone. I was
afraid for my economic well-being. I had become afraid of almost everything.
There were times when I'd look around and perceive life as a meaningless
mess. But there were other times when a quiet voice would whisper in my
heart that life was not as it appeared to be. Life was much more than a short
span on Earth. A lifetime was but a blink in eternity. Slowly, ever so slowly, I
started to understand.
Sometimes while driving to the supermarket, I would look at the empty seat
next to me -- the seat in which she used to sit -- and I would wonder where
she had gone. Everyone knows where the caterpillar goes--it goes into the
butterfly. But who knows where the butterfly goes?
38
Conquering Fear
So I thought of Mardai as a butterfly of the universe and I would pray that
her journey be a joyous one and that she would find some way of letting me
know she was fine in her new world. When "Fear" attacks, "Hope" is always
ready to defend.
I truly believe that the bonds that exist between those who love deeply are
stronger than death itself. Perhaps, love is the greatest reality in the
universe. And love is more powerful than any fear that besieges us. Hope is
the catalyst - love does the healing. Hope slays fear. Love knows no fear.
Hope is sight; love is insight. Hope heals; love makes whole. Hope is a
storehouse; love is a powerhouse. Hope springs eternal; love is eternity.
Sometimes on a beautiful, cloudless, starry night, I sit on my porch and look
into the woods behind my house. I hear the voices of my loved ones in my
heart and in the very whispering of the wind through the leaves. I look up
into the night-sky and see the second star on the belt of Orion, the Hunter,
and I can see, if I but look more closely, Mardai smiling at me.
As I look and listen in the quietness of my soul, I hear her say, "I have
always loved you, and you will always be my joy, my pride and my prince. I
have known you from Forever, and I will be with you again one day, even as
we used to be together in the life you now live.
"When you are sad, I feel your sorrow, and when you are happy, I rejoice
with you. You must finish the work that you came to Earth to do. Time will
lighten the heaviness in your heart, and then I will be able to communicate
with you more clearly. Do not be afraid.
"I watch over you and our children, and I know how difficult it can get at
times. But you are not alone. There are others here who also watch and help.
Our work on Earth was finished so it was time to move on. We are all
brilliantly alive.
"I visit you sometimes in your dreams. The veil that separates you and your
reality from mine is very, very thin indeed. In your quiet moments, you
sometimes pierce that veil and get a glimpse of our reality. It is gloriously
exciting where we are, and one day, we shall all meet again. You have much
to do before you join us, but know that we will be with you every step of the
way.
"My dearest John, I have always loved you, and I will love you through the
hallways of time into the Fields of Forever. When you are ready to come
here, I will be the first one waiting to greet you. Live life joyously and fully.
And have no fear for love always conquers fear."
39
Conquering Fear
It has been quite a few years since Mardai has been gone. The children have
grown up and now have their own careers. They remember the days of great
pain, madness and fear, but they also have fond memories of their mother
and her love.
We have learned much. But the greatest lesson we have learned is that hope
is the antidote for fear and that love is the answer to all our problems. I
cannot help but reflect on the words of Saul of Tarsus, "And now abideth
faith, hope and love, these three; but the greatest of these is love."
40
Conquering Fear
"Listen to what you know, not what you fear." - Richard Bach
41
Conquering Fear
Paul Harris
Fear: My Invisible Companion
I have known fear my entire life. It has been my constant, invisible
companion since I was a child. I grew up in a home with an abusive father,
where being scared was my constant state of mind. From this background, I
developed a belief that the entire world was a scary place.
As an adult, this fear continued to play a part in my life by causing a lack of
belief in myself and my abilities. Since I was a teenager I have been
interested in owning my own business. I feel I am simply not cut out to
be an employee for someone else. Therefore, in my twenties I started
several businesses, all of which failed.
None of them failed because of a problem with the business opportunity.
They failed because of my fear. Even while I was running these
businesses, I felt like I was a fraud and that any moment people would
"discover" me.
After all of these years of living in fear, I have finally come to believe that I
can choose what to make of my fear. I don't believe that anyone can
entirely eliminate fear, but I now certainly believe it can be managed and
even used to our advantage.
Fear thrives in the absence of a stronger emotion. Discovering this became
the means by which I've finally been able to move past my lifelong fears. The
mind abhors a vacuum and in the absence of a dominating emotion or
thought, fear often seeps in and begins to take over. To combat this one
needs to learn to focus their mind and thoughts upon that which they desire
instead of that which they fear. I realize this is not always easy. But if you
have a dream or a goal that is strong enough your desire for that dream can
block your fear from taking over, as long as you concentrate on the dream.
Normally what happens is someone will imagine their dream or goal but will
then become discouraged because they do not know how they will accomplish
it. This discouragement becomes the open door for fear to move in. You must
concentrate on your dream and hold it in your mind even though you do not
yet know how it will be accomplished.
In this way, fear may keep knocking on the door of your mind but can find no
entrance.
It's taken me many long years to come to this realization but I now know
42
Conquering Fear
I'm in control of my fear and am finally, and proudly, operating my own
Internet business. Hold to your dreams and whatever you can imagine
can come true.
Paul Harris
43
Conquering Fear
Courage is the price that life exacts for granting peace.
- Amelia Earhart
44
Conquering Fear
Ed Hirsch
Does your heart ever beat so fast and hard that you feel you may die? When
this happens, (and it happens to me) it motivates and forces decisions (and
action).
It may be fear, or it might just be some raw excitement. In either case, it is
not a bad thing.
Moving toward your goals, dreams and highest aspirations requires a
constant confrontation with the truth! The truth is YOUR deepest beliefs and
personal intentions. Whatever it is you think is your purpose in life, my
encouragement is to "do it."
My first "mentor" wrote "DO IT" and that was all ... when I went up after the
seminar to get his signature in the Freedom Planner I purchased from his
T.V. Infomercial.
Walking the walk of a person driven by some unexplainable vision, will
necessitate action which causes you to do things that the "average bear"
does not normally do.
These actions we endeavor, need not be taken on haphazardly. In fact, the
discipline of planning and totally thinking through the intention and the
respective carrying out of it, must be done responsibly. Many "driven" people
have failed miserably in business and life by simply leaving out the leg
work to research the life plan fully.
Make the decision, take the action and carry it out. Get SCARED ... it is a
great indication that you are making progress in the changes necessary to
achieve the intended result.
"No Pain, No Gain", "No Guts, No Glory", "You'll always miss 100% of the
shots you don't take", "No Drilling, No Oil" (I made the last one up ;-)
I am practically scared to death each morning I arise. The "things to be
done" each day require continual prayer to stay consistent and persistent. It
is not a negative state ... it is damn exciting! As each day moves forward,
the fear does NOT decrease.
Fight the good fight and look the fear directly in the eye to continually spook
it out of the mind.
Being scared to death is a sure sign that you are ready to make the next step
toward your chosen success. My encouragement to you is that if this is the
45
Conquering Fear
case in your life ... "DO IT!!!"
Contributed by Ed Hirsch
#1 REASON stopping your business growth ...
WASTED resources on those who QUIT!
Eliminate the ZERO'S on your Genie report 650-872-1024
"A Networkers RETENTION Dream Come True"
mailto:fourthwave@earthlink.net?SUBJECT=dream1
46
Conquering Fear
“The fact is that to do anything in the world worth doing, we
must not stand back shivering and thinking of the cold and
danger, but jump in and scramble through as well as we
can.” — Robert Cushing
“Without courage, all other virtues lose their meaning.”
- Winston Churchill
47
Conquering Fear
Glen Hopkins
Glen Hopkins, owns Motivational-Messages.com, your Free resource for daily
motivation and inspiration, including quotes, tips, and stories to help you lead
a successful life. To join the Free mailing list, send an e-mail to
mailto:motivationalmessages-subscribe@listbot.com
http://www.motivational-messages.com/
FEAR – Don't Let it Control You!
Copyright (c) 1999 Glen Hopkins
Fear. What is it? Can you touch it? Can you hold it? Can you show it to
another person? I can almost hear you from where I am sitting. "No, no, no".
Okay then, so you can't touch it, you can't hold it, and you can't show it to
another person. The question then is, why? Why do we have fear? Fear is
nothing more than an emotion or a feeling that we hold in our mind.
We fear either the emotional or physical pain something may cause. The
problem is, these emotions and feeling affect the way we live our lives. We
fear doing certain things because we think we might fail. This may be due to
past failures we have actually experienced or it may be due to failures we
fear we might experience.
I urge you to remember and live by the following motto.
Fear stands for,
False
Evidence that
Appears
Real
Most of the time what we fear, we have never even experienced! Isn't that
crazy? You see, your mind has a hard time determining whether you've
actually experienced the failure or just imagined it. Either way, you feel the
physiological symptoms of the fear; such as an upset stomach. Often,
because we can imagine some sort of failure, we believe it will come true,
and then we don't even try! And that is what makes a failure; a person who
is afraid to try because they fear the potential of a negative outcome. If you
don't at least try, you can never succeed.
"I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually
happened." - Mark Twain
48
Conquering Fear
The question now becomes who defines what 'failure' and ‘success' is? You do
right? Either you create the definition yourself or you accept someone else's
definition. Is it true then that some people create more difficult definitions of
success and failure for themselves than others do? You bet it is! Who do you
think leads a more successful live, Alex who defines success as, "everyday
that I wake up and I'm not six feet under, is a great day." Or Jeff, who
defines success as, "I have to be earning at least million dollars a year before
I am successful."
You guessed right again. Alex. You see, Alex has created her own definition
of what success means and that definition is relatively easy to achieve!
Therefore, in her mind, she is successful everyday. Whereas Jeff, as per his
own definition, cannot be successful until he is earning one million dollars a
year. What are the chances that most of the 'Jeff's' in the world feel like
failures on a daily basis because they are not yet earning one million dollars a
year? Now don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that you should not set high
standards and goals for yourself. What I am saying is that you have to be
careful that you 'happily achieve, rather than achieve to be happy'.
The more difficult your definition of success is to attain, the more fear you
will attach to it. Don't let your own definitions limit you. Or even worse, the
definitions of others. Create your own definitions to make it harder to feel like
a failure and easier to feel like a success. That way you will attach less fear to
what you want in life.
What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail? Image what
you can do in your life with that type of belief system. Try thinking of every
'failure' as a success. That is, every time you 'fail' at something, you have
really succeeded because you have learned what does not work.
Therefore, you are closer to succeeding the next time you try. Remember
that the past does not equal the future. Yesterday's failure does not equal
your future outcomes. Just because you may have failed yesterday, or even
five minutes ago, it doesn't mean you are going to fail again. Just learn from
what you did wrong and change your approach. Don't fear the past. The past
is what has taught you how to succeed in the future.
Be fearless!
49
Conquering Fear
“Take time to deliberate, but when the time for action has
arrived, stop thinking and go in.” — Napoleon Bonaparte
“One man scorned and covered with scars still strove with
his last ounce of courage to reach the unreachable stars;
and the world will be better for this.”
- Miguel de Cervantes
50
Conquering Fear
Joann Javons
"Take A Risk" By Joann Javons copyright 2001
I called my doctor to describe the intense pain in my right shoulder. As usual,
my doctor suggested I come in for an injection or as an alternative, she
would call in a prescription for a strong anti-inflammatory drug.
I opted for the anti-inflammatory even though I knew I wouldn't take it.
What kind of 'alternative' is a prescription drug? And forget those injections.
Last time I was at her office, I got cortisone injections in my knees for the
pain due to arthritis. I really think I'm too young to have arthritis (well, isn't
middle age too young for this stuff?) but there it is.
I'm not the best patient. When they try to take my blood, I shut my eyes,
real tight, and hold my breath. Watching it is something I just can't do.
I don't like drugs. So I decided to check into acupuncture to reduce the pain
in my shoulder. But I don't like needles either.
This was a big decision. I had seen pictures and TV shows with people having
all those needles stuck in them. The idea of needles stuck in me horrified me.
I figured if I closed my eyes at the acupuncturist's office, I could get through
it.
Little did I know I was about to get another lesson in taking a risk.
Guess what I discovered? Those needles are as fine and thin as a strand of
hair! And they don't hurt! If they hit the right spot, you might feel it but it's
not painful.
If someone had told me this sooner, I would have been in that
acupuncturist's office months ago. Why didn't someone tell me?
The answer is simple: I didn't ask. And, continuing to do what you're doing is
more comfortable than spending time, money, and most of all, dealing with
the anxiety of making a change.
Is the point of this story that you shouldn't believe everything you see on TV?
No, although you shouldn't believe everything you see on TV.
51
Conquering Fear
The point is that fear holds you back from taking action to enhance your life.
Action that can remove pain or discomfort or unhappiness. Fear keeps your
from taking a risk, taking action to reach your dreams. Action requires a
willingness to risk, try something new, let go of the old.
If you don't take risks, you really aren't living to your potential. Life is a
series of risks, of changes, all with opportunities to experience the gifts that
come.
If you don't take risks, you're staying in your comfort zone. Chances are that
you'll stay there until something pushes you out. That's the hard way to
change.
My simple acupuncture experience was not a big risk by external
measurements: all I could lose was money and time. Ahhh, but the fear of
those needles was pretty big, in my head.
Fear keeps you from moving forward. It keeps you stuck exactly where you
are. The question is: do you need some form of pain in your life to push you
out of your comfort zone? I don't think so. Unless you like to wait for pain.
Some people do. They wait for an excruciating level of discomfort, like losing
a job, getting into debt, not having enough money, before they make any
change in their lives. You don't need to be one of them. It's truly a choice.
The only way out is in. In a new job, in a new savings plan, in a new situation
that brings you closer to what you want. That means taking a risk, taking
action. And the truth is, any action is better than no action. No matter what
action you take to make your life better, you will learn something. Something
you can use to get closer to your dreams.
Isn't it worth moving through your fear to get closer to your dreams? Take a
risk today!
For more resources, tips, articles, and gifts to enhance your life, subscribe to
our Free monthly newsletter, "Just For You, the newsletter for your total life"
mailto:Peoplepoems-subscribe@topica.com
You'll be happy you did!
http://www.private-practice-marketing.com
52
Conquering Fear
“Courage and perseverance have a magical talisman, before
which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish into thin
air.” — John Quincy Adams
“Courage is fear holding on a minute longer.”
- General George S. Patton
53
Conquering Fear
Shelley Lowery
Shelley Lowery is the Executive Publisher, Editor-in-Chief and Webmistress of
Web-Source.net.
Web-Source.net is a complete resource portal for the Internet Entrepreneur.
The site assists the entrepreneur in developing a serious Web presence by
providing a wealth of free information, resources, tools and content.
Shelley is a full-time Internet Marketer, Writer and the author of several
successful eBooks. Shelley's articles have appeared in hundreds of electronic
and print publications including Microsoft Value Added, Internet Magazine,
WebProNews, SiteProNews, Add Me, iBoost, A.I.M., NoBoss Online,
WhatUseek, and others.
Prior to starting my Internet business, I worked in a steel plant operating a
steel rolling mill. I had absolutely no background in business and was
completely computer illiterate.
I was a single mother with four children, so I needed the type of income that
this dangerous, blue-collar position provided.
Most of the time, I had to work six and seven days a week just to make ends
meet. And, swinging different shifts each month really took its toll.
Sometimes it seemed as if I didn't know whether I was coming or going -- I
hated every single minute I worked in that plant. But at the time, I felt I
didn't have a choice.
I was completely dependent on the regular income this job provided.
Although I sincerely wanted my own business and desperately wanted to
leave my job, I just couldn't -- or so I thought. The truth is...fear was my
biggest obstacle. I was afraid to make a change. Afraid I wouldn't have
enough money to feed my children and pay my bills.
As fate would have it, while loading a 3,000 LB coil of steel onto my machine,
the brake on the crane malfunctioned. The coil struck me in the shoulder and
dislocated it backwards. After two surgeries, and months of rehabilitation, the
doctors determined that my shoulder was beyond repair.
I was off work for over a year, lost my house, my car and then the doctors
informed me that I couldn't go back to my job. My biggest fears of what
'might' happen were now reality. That's when my life dramatically changed. I
was determined that I wasn't going to allow this injury to rule my life.
Although the doctors said that I would never have a functional shoulder, I
54
Conquering Fear
just couldn't accept that. It was a long and difficult process, but little by little
I regained the use of my shoulder. I took a temporary job cleaning houses
and scraped enough money together to buy my first computer. I knew I
wanted to start my own Internet business, but I was totally clueless as to
where to begin.
I began researching and reading everything I could get my hands on. I
ordered moneymaking opportunities off the Internet, TV and from magazines
-- not to actually pursue the opportunity, but to learn from these marketers.
The more I learned, the more excited I became. I was determined that no
matter what my family and friends said ("you'll never make it on the
Internet" or "Get a 'real' job") I was going to be successful.
Sure, it was a long and difficult road, and I made a lot of sacrifices along the
way. However, all of the hard work is finally paying off.
What I now realize is that the first steps were the most difficult. With each
step I took, the easier it became. I certainly wasn't an overnight success --
far from it. I struggled from the very beginning.
When I started my Internet business there wasn't a lot of information
available to assist me. However, with each small accomplishment, the light at
the end of the tunnel became a little bit brighter. And, gave me the strength
and courage to continue.
I am now a full-time Internet marketer and operate my Internet business out
of the comfort of my own home. The light is now shinning brightly -- It's a
great life:)
55
Conquering Fear
“He never knew when he was whipped ... so he never was.”
— Louis L’Amour
“Whatever course you decide upon, there is always someone
to tell you that you are wrong. There are always difficulties
arising which tempt you to believe that your critics are right.
To map out a course of action and follow it to an end
requires ... Courage.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson
56
Conquering Fear
Bob Mcelwain
I have been marketing and consulting on the Web since 1993. My goal with
http://www.SiteTipsAndTricks.Com
is to create a resource center for
wannabe and newbie webmasters in which you can easily find what you
need, else ask me to do so. Further, I can help you build a successful site or
improve one you already have. And I can help you promote your site
effectively. All at prices you can afford. For details, please click the Support
link to the left or send any email to
mailto:support@sitetipsandtricks.com
CHERISH FEAR
Many argue it's best to overcome fears, to put them in their place, so to
speak. For me, that place is right out front where I can meet them head on.
Embrace them even.
It's fear that keeps us from coming too close to the edge of a precipice or
climbing too high in a tree. In business, it points out the pitfalls ahead and
allows us to plan a way to avoid them.
Fear is of two kinds. Rational and irrational. It is rational (sensible) to avoid
falling off a cliff. It is irrational (nonsense) to believe all the people in the
crowded room are watching you. Expecting you to do something naughty,
maybe.
To the degree possible, crush irrational fear. Meet it head on. Why do you
feel everyone is watching you? Look about at those around you. Study their
faces. Their smiles and frowns. Their earnest or frivolous dialog. Listen to
their chuckles and laughter. Are they really watching you? Do they even
know you are in the room? Would anyone notice if you did do whatever? The
answer is no. But cling to such questions until irrational fears are laid aside.
They block our way, slow our pace, and add uncertainties, none of which is
helpful.
But rational fear is useful. Harness it, then give it free rein. Listen to what it
tells you. Evaluate. Are you too close to the edge of the cliff? Back away. If it
is only of goblins in the night it speaks, say the words right out loud, "Stuff
and nonsense!"
Building a business online or offline is fraught with fear. Listen to what it
says. Lean closer if the voice is too faint. It will help you foresee a great deal
of the future, of problems that may beset you, and barriers that may need to
be overcome. It is unlikely all of this will come to pass, but think of the added
confidence gained in being prepared for those that do.
57
Conquering Fear
Taking risks is an essential ingredient in growing a business. From making
changes in a website to expanding into another area, all is laden with risk.
But if no action is taken, there will be no growth. Instead, the business will
wither and die. Let your fears assist you in planning a clear path around
possible obstacles, then move forward boldly. With good plans for the
unexpected, you can not be seriously harmed.
Specific to your website, recognize that your visitors are real live people, not
just hits reported to log files. As such, they are also subject to fears. Know
some have not made the distinction between rational and irrational fear; they
have both kinds lumped together. Their behavior will be all the more
unpredictable.
Some have reported as many as 65% of visitors fail to complete order forms.
While I have never seen mention of it, I would bet good bucks that many
click away in fear. "Why do they want my address; I didn't ask them to mail
anything to me?" "Why do they want my phone number?" "Who are these
people butting into my life this way?"
We know how important it is to build trust with the content and presentation
of a website. While we may have failed to achieve this goal completely, we
have worked at getting close. I suggest another step be taken.
Since indecision and uncertainty often lead to fear, and thus to flight, erase
all possible points at which a visitor may stumble. Easy navigation is clearly a
must. But look for less obvious things. A link that misleads. An ad that may
offend. A line in a sales pitch that is too much to swallow. That is, look at
every element within your site. Identify every point at which a visitor might
stumble, then make sure it won't happen.
Watch the birds in your backyard. Or the deer in the foothills. Fear keeps
them alive. Given any challenge that can not be instantly identified, it is
always fight or flight. These options are far too fundamental and primeval to
ignore. In your business, harness fears so the next action can be taken. On
your website, be sure visitors do not click off from fears of which they may
not even be aware.
58
Conquering Fear
“Success consists of getting up just one more time than you
fall.” — Oliver Goldsmith
“Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence
of fear.” - Mark Twain
59
Conquering Fear
Jo McNamara
Jo McNamara lives in Orlando, FL, with 8 cats and 1 husband. Jo wishes to
express her gratitude to Dale Armin Miller. "The success I've earned today is
because of the Internet Marketing Success Arsenal. The success I achieve
tomorrow will be because of the Internet Marketing Success Arsenal."
mailto:what_works_online1@sendfree.com
"The Wish-Idas"
© By Jo McNamara 2001
"Knowledge of what is possible is the beginning of happiness." George
Santayana
If someone had told me in my 20s I would attempt to start my own home
business at 50, I would have thought they had taken some really good (bad?)
drugs. If someone had told me in my 30s I would write articles that would be
read by hundreds of people, I would have asked them how long they had
been hearing voices. If someone had told me in my 40s I would have a
business that involved using a computer, I would have laughed so hard I
would need to excuse myself to change my underwear.
Well, here I am...50 years old. I have started my own home business; I have
written articles that have been read by hundreds of people (Okay...I KNOW
my husband, best friend and mother-in-law have read them); and my home
business involves the computer.
I say this with absolutely no conceit. I say this with wonder and amazement.
This actually is ME living this life. I've dreamed of owning my own business
for years; I've dreamed of writing and being published for years. I'm STILL
dreaming of learning how to stop crashing the computer.
I don't regret not doing any of this at a younger age. I fully appreciate what
is happening to me more at the age of 50 because I know what a struggle it
has been. I'm more humble about my "success" because I have an attitude of
gratitude. I look at what I've accomplished with the astonishment of a 3-
year-old.
When I turned 50, I realized that the road before me was shorter than the
road behind me. There was something about turning 50 that made me come
to the realization that I didn't have as much time to do the things I've always
wanted to do.
I've had dreadful visions of being 80, sitting in a rocking chair on a front
60
Conquering Fear
porch, reflecting back upon all the "Wish-Idas." "Wish I'd done this; wish I'd
done that." At 50, my fear of the"Wish-Idas" became stronger than my Fear
of Failure, my Fear of Humiliation and my Fear of Being Technically Inept.
These are not things you think about in your 20s or 30s. That is the time in
your life when you tend to feel that your future is spread out in front of you.
It's as though you are standing on a spot on the East Coast and you see
clearly in front of you the road that leads to the West Coast. At 50, you are
somewhere in Kansas (close to the Colorado border) and now the road in
front of you doesn't seem so long.
In your 20s and 30s, you have the luxury of saying, "I can always do that
later." At 50, your "laters" are NOW.
This is not meant to be a depressing article on getting older. Turning 50 was
not depressing for me. Turning 50 revitalized me. It gave me the confidence
to feel I could tackle those things I've always wanted to do. If I didn't
succeed at something the first time and I sincerely wanted it, I would keep
trying and keep trying. If it wasn't meant to be, so be it; at least I gave it
100%.
The point of this article is this: Try ANYTHING that you sincerely and
passionately want to do. You have nothing to lose. Feel that you're too old?
How old is "too old?" "Too old" is any age YOU decide it is. If you decide
there is no such age, then the world will stand aside to let you pass.
I am slowly shortening my list of "Wish-Idas." More and more I'm thinking
when I look back on my life, I'll be saying, "I've had a full life following my
passions. Successes and failures, but at least I tried."
Never place limits on yourself. Don't let it be YOU sitting in a rocking chair on
a front porch, regretting the "Wish-Idas."
"Do not aspire to immortality, but exhaust the limits of the possible." Pindar
61
Conquering Fear
"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft
might win by fearing to attempt." -William Shakespeare
“Courage is the capacity to go from failure to failure without
losing enthusiasm.” - Sir Winston Churchill
62
Conquering Fear
Ante Miljak
Thin air and the occasional wisp of water vapor from the majestic Victoria
Falls fills the 111-meter gap that separates the swirling waters of the
Zambezi and the steel-girded bridge spanning the river.
A similarly tenuous and invisible medium, vision and determination, bridges
the gap separating the average Internet business from a $100 000 income.
A pedestrian crossing the bridge connecting Zimbabwe and Zambia would
hardly notice the slight protrusion on its edge, if it weren't for the feverish
crowd that perpetually mobs the narrow platform. They congregate here for
the thrill of watching those foolish, or brave - always matter of opinion - that
plummet into the abyss with a rope tied around their ankles.
The Webmaster who finds a way to attract an equally feverish crowd to their
website, will see money flow into the bank like the gushing waters of the
Zambezi below the bridge.
But to create a thrill you have to jump!!!
Standing at the edge of the narrow platform I was preparing to do just
that...jump. But the anticipatory thrill of the dive was being overwhelmed by
the intense sensation of fear as the moment drew near.
While the jumpmaster was adjusting the rope around my ankles, I stared at
the wild waters below...and thought.
'What if the rope snaps?'
Perched at the edge of the abyss with an inch thick rope - or a sensible
decision - separating me from eternity, wasn't exactly the appropriate
moment to think of the consequences.
"Will I ever learn?"
I did the same with the Internet. Lured by promises of overnight riches by
marketing "gurus", I jumped headlong into Internet business. It cost me a lot
of pain, heartache, disappointment and money. It came close to costing me
everything that I had worked for my entire life.
"Well, I survived that one."
63
Conquering Fear
That thought comforted me a little and shifted my mind into a more
philosophical mode.
"What drives a human to do this crazy thing risking death or injury for an act
that serves no purpose, or to leave a perfectly good business to plunge into
the hazy world of the Internet?"
"Should I turn back?"
Hundreds of spectators lined the rails of the bridge and the fringes of my life.
The embarrassment would be too great.
The jumpmaster stopped fiddling with the rope and stood up.
"Ready?" He asked.
"Ready." I replied. My voice shook a little.
He extended his arm towards the horizon - that's where I was supposed to
look - and started counting.
10...9...8. The crowd counted with him. I had about seven seconds to change
my mind. Remnants of the thrill were snuffed out of my mind by relentless
fear.
3...2...1...bungyyyyyyy. The roar of the crowd was frenzied.
I leaped. The acceleration of my falling body astounded me. Instinctively, I
extended my hands in front of me to brake the fall. An irrational and futile
gesture.
The surging waters of Zambezi were meters from my head when the
elasticity of the rope catapulted me back towards the bridge.
Hidden somewhere in the pages of a capacious dictionary, there is probably a
word describing a sensation of intense fear and immense exhilaration. If
there is, I certainly missed it. But that's what I felt.
I did it.
I had no problem finding a word to accurately describe my next feeling.
"Triumph" described it very, very accurately.
Now I had the answer to the questions that tormented my mind while
perched at the edge of the abyss. Now I knew why I had to jump and why I
64
Conquering Fear
had to take the uncharted Internet road.
In both cases I needed to reaffirm myself. I have reached a point in my life
known to the unenlightened as "middle age." And I am not talking history
here. I am talking about the age at which society casts people into a narrow
groove of outdated perceptions.
That is why I had to test the edges of my courage and the edges of
technology. That's why I needed to jump both ways. I was jumping out of the
straight-jacket that a narrow-minded society tries to pull over my mind. Now
I control the time. It can no longer pass me by.
The road to freedom and independence is now open. There might be some
rocky stretches ahead. In fact I am sure there will. But the worst is behind
me and I now have the ultimate weapon to overcome any obstacle ahead - a
reaffirmed belief in myself.
I now thank those Internet "gurus" that lured me into business by false
promises. To earn a few dollars they nearly ruined my life and if I had not
persevered, they would have. They would have unmercifully killed in me the
most potent force in any person's life - confidence and belief in themselves.
On reflection I realized that they didn't con me into Internet business. To any
sensible individual it is obvious that what they promise is too good to be true.
They just told me what I wanted to hear and I believed it because I wanted
to believe. I yearned to fulfill the deep-seated human need of freedom, self-
affirmation and total independence.
The Internet offers this, if you do it right. And this is not hype.
When you bungy jump, your chances of surviving are greatly increased if the
rope around to your ankles is chosen and tied by responsible professionals.
You have to do some research. Your life is at stake.
In Internet business you have to choose products that are not as ephemeral
as the mist that floats above the Victoria Falls gorge. You have to do some
research. Your life is at stake.
There is no formula for success. Whoever tries to sell it to you is trying to
cheat you out of your money. You are a unique individual. There are
principles that we all use in our unique ways. If you apply them to your
visions and persevere, you will succeed.
It is your vision that liberates the powerful forces that lie within you. It is just
as awesome as the mist exploding off the mighty falls of Mosi oa Tunya - The
65
Conquering Fear
Smoke that Thunders.
Ante Miljak
mailto:ante@clickandgrowrich.biz
Author of Click & Grow Rich, the business that integrates products, traffic-
generation programs and marketing strategy. All you need to do is Click &
Grow Rich.
http://www.clickandgrowrich.biz
66
Conquering Fear
"The fearless are merely fearless. People who act in spite of
their fear are truly brave." -James A. LaFond-Lewis
67
Conquering Fear
Paul Polanco
MY FEAR OF THE STOCK MARKET
I was working for one of the largest no-load mutual fund companies called
T.Rowe Price & Associates in the heart of downtown Los Angeles back in 1995
when it happened. I had helped our clients with their mutual fund
investments, their IRA
(Individual Retirement Account) questions, and stock questions. I soon
realized that many of our "wealthy" clients were asking me for advice (which
I couldn't give since they are a no-load fund family). Here I was a 25 year
old young man, fresh out of college, with very little investment knowledge
being asked to help millionaires with their portfolios!
It was completely absurd. Then it occurred to me: "If these people can
make a lot of money, why can't I?" I realized that these people weren't any
smarter than me, but they were doing things differently than me. I needed
to find out what those "things" were.
I had always been interested in the stock market but was scared to death of
it.
After all, I had lost my entire savings in the stock market when I was 19 (all
$500 of it). I asked my father for advice, but all he could say was "it's all in
real estate, stay away from the stock market." Then I began asking friends
and co-workers for advice. They either said it was "too risky" or that "you
don't know what you're doing."
I became very frustrated.
I wanted to make money in the stock market but by the time I had finished
talking to my "circle of friends", I was scared silly. My fear of losing my
money was great.
It kept me up late at night. "What if you lose your savings again?" my brain
would ask. After much thought, I decided that if other people can do this so
can I. My desire to beat the odds was even greater than my fear. I almost
gave it up, but I decided to set my own path.
Once I truly decided, I began reading voraciously. I read as many books
about stock investing that I could get my hands on. I went to seminars,
listened to tapes, and began seeking out mentors. People who were actually
making money in the stock market, not journalists who just write about it.
68
Conquering Fear
When I felt that I was ready, I began paper-trading. This is when you buy
and sell stocks on paper and not using real money. I did this for about 6
months. I kept track of all my fictitious trades. The first few weeks were
brutal. I lost a lot of phony money. Yet, with each loss I began learning
what I did wrong (sometimes it was just dumb luck too since no one can
predict the future). Then I began showing small profits. I had learned of a
way of "insuring" my investments and keeping my losses to a bare minimum.
I reinvested those profits for bigger gains. I became so good at it that I
began using real money. Then I discovered that I could make money no
matter if the market went up or down!
My friends noticed a profound change in me. I began speaking differently,
using words such as "relative strength","covered calls", "put options", "going
short", "new highs", and "moving averages".
Even though everyone told me it was impossible for me to make money in
the stock market, I managed to not only prove them wrong, but 7 years
later, I'm still proving them wrong! What's even more bizarre is they STILL
think the stock market is "too risky" and that I am "lucky". Closed-minded
people never become wealthy.
This fascination with the stock market led me into different careers such as
insurance, financial planning, internet marketing, and estate planning.
Today, one of my passions is to help people with their financial planning
needs from a different point of view (I've been on both sides of that desk!)
and to protect them from 99% of all the garbage and nonsense that is out
there.
Despite my very real fear of losing my savings, I decided to simply face my
fear, find people who were making CONSISTENT gains in the market, took
the BEST of what they had to offer, and created my own system. Face your
fears and they will either lessen or completely disappear. Thank you.
Paul Polanco
Financial Strategist
69
Conquering Fear
“My message to you is: Be courageous! I have lived a long
time. I have seen history repeat itself again and again. I
have seen many depressions in business. Always America
has come out stronger and more prosperous. Be as brave as
your fathers before you. Have faith! Go forward.”
- Thomas Edison
70
Conquering Fear
Jenny Richter
http://www.clubmidas.net/cgi-bin/refer.cgi?38609
http://helpyouto.buildreferrals.com
mailto: jenny_richter@hotmail.com
Overcoming Fear
I was a shy kid. An introvert. An observer of life rather than a participant. I
was one the last ones to put my hand up in the classroom. I would break into
a sweat and feel my heart thumping just thinking about putting my hand up.
If the teacher asked me a question in front of the class, my face would burn
red and eventually I’d stutter an answer. I had trouble asking the kids in the
playground if I could join their game. I couldn’t start up a conversation.
Today, the thought of public speaking or public appearances no longer strikes
terror in my veins. I have given speeches at weddings - but I’m not a master
of ceremonies. I have been the whip on debating teams - but I’m not a
debater. I have been in a sold out play at Town Hall - but I’m not a thespian.
I have given a solo performance, a soliloquy to a packed audience in a capital
city -but I’m not a performer. I have taught subjects to students - but I am
not a teacher. I’ve given lectures at University - but I’m not a lecturer. I have
modeled clothes in halls full of people - but I’m not a model. I’ve been on
national television - but I’m not an entertainer. I’ve sung in front of groups of
people - but I’m not a singer. I have broadcast radio sessions - but I am not
a host. I’ve played keyboards in a band on stage - but I’m not a musician.
I overcame the fear by applying a credo. “Just do it and damn the
consequences”.
It wasn’t easy at first. If my mother hadn’t strongly encouraged me I doubt I
would have done any of the above. She was my super salesman. She would
counter argue all of my objections for not doing it. “I’m not good looking
enough, I’m not smart enough, I can’t act, I can’t talk, I don’t know anything
about it, ‘I haven’t done it before’, ‘They’ll laugh at me’ and so on and on.
She left me with no more ‘reasons’ not to try. So I did. I signed up for a play
at school. And that’s when something great happened. I didn’t die of
embarrassment from doing a public appearance. Not during and not after.
After that I got a buzz from self achievement. I did it! It became easier and
easier after that.
I had learnt a lesson. My fear had stopped me from doing things. Fear had
cloaked itself in the “I can’t”, “I don’t”, “I haven’t” and “I’m not” thoughts.
71
Conquering Fear
Conquering my fear had opened the doors to achievement. I conquered my
fear by saying I can, I do, I have and I am. The next step was to believe it,
prove it by doing it and finally, repeat the process until comfortable.
I have applied this strategy to other areas of my life when I was fearful of
something. Here are some examples.
I am a traveler - I have visited over 25 countries on 4 continents. I
conquered my fear of being away from familiar surroundings, fear of the
unknown and other cultures.
I am an explorer - I have circumnavigated Australia twice in a campervan,
covering a combined distance of over 50,000+ KM. I conquered fears of
getting lost, wild animals, dying in the dessert, isolation and heights (I
climbed Ayers Rock).
I am a sailor - I have traveled on ocean liners, yachts, ferries and boats. I
conquered my fear of being way out in the middle of the ocean.
I am a diver - I have a PADI open water diver certification. I conquered my
fear of breathing in deep water.
I am a sportsperson - I have played a range of different sports. I conquered
the fear of injuring myself.
I am a parent - I have 2 children. I conquered the fear of childbirth.
I am a University graduate - I have a Bachelor Degree in Commerce. I
topped my major. I conquered my fear of academic failure.
I am a restaurateur - I have owned and operated my own restaurant. I
conquered my fear of running my own business.
I am an investor - I have investment property. I conquered my fear of
financial loss.
I am a home owner - I have conquered my fear of debt.
I am a writer - I have had a few pieces published in national magazines. I
have conquered the fear of revealing my personal self to a large audience.
I am bi-lingual - I speak, read and write German. I conquered a fear of
speaking differently.
I am transient - I have moved house 14 times and have lived overseas. I
72
Conquering Fear
have lived in 3 different states in my own country and I have lived overseas.
I conquered a fear of moving away.
I am employable - I have worked for financial, educational and government
bodies, in a variety of positions. I conquered a fear of job security.
73
Conquering Fear
"Accept the challenges, so that you may feel the exhilaration
of victory". - Anonymous
74
Conquering Fear
Darren Roberts
So many people don't enjoy the life they would prefer to experience. As a
result, they live it party fulfilled. Why do they sell themselves short? Why are
personal desires and aspirations not important to
the vast majority?
After years of business in Great Britain, Australia & Germany, Darren decided
that he would do what I could to improve the lifestyle of many by assisting
them lead a higher level of living with greater satisfaction, contentment and
pleasure.
Since early 1998, he has devoted his time to this through his Website, Ezine
& Online Membership Area. He has written countless reports and articles
covering this topic. His most successful book, "Making Your Success
Inevitable" reflects this.
It involves more than just motivating the individual. It's about the individual
becoming 100% honest with themselves to pursue what they ultimately want
rather than to follow the masses. This is what makes people really happy and
it is Darren's goal to do what he can to help others reach this happy state of
living.
Check out the abundance of original resources he has at:
75
Conquering Fear
"YOUR PERSONAL GOAL. OVERCOMING FEAR!"
Written By: Darren Roberts
Copyright © 2000 - 2002 All Rights Reserved
Overcoming acrophobia and deciding to do a parachute jump. This is a
colossal undertaking - not only would you be attempting something, which
some people have not survived, but you would be facing one of your largest
fears: heights. You could have chosen something easier such as bungee
jumping, learning to fly and parasailing but you've gone straight to the top.
How do you prepare for this? How do you bring yourself to the best possible
vantage point before you actually plummet to the ground? One thing is for
sure; it isn't going to happen if the thought makes you giddy and weak at the
knees. Therefore, the first step is to face your fear head on and create a
visual!
What better way is there than doing the respective training course? Earlier, in
Chapter II we covered in detail the value of visualization. We all know the
expression "put me in the picture" meaning "show me what's going on"!
Visualizing is tremendous for this. Now, if you spend the next three days at
the training course for your 10,000' free fall jump, then you are learning
what to expect when you're in the air.
Many of our fears are simply fears of the unknown. In fact, the unknown has
a lot to answer for. The best way to overcome this is to make the unknown
your own knowledge. Learn about the unknown and your whole attitude will
change. Put yourself in the picture. Get others to assist you by asking
anything and everything remotely related to your jump. This will be met with
interest, as it's obvious that you're keen on skydiving.
So, as you learn disaster recovery, the correct way to free fall, how to read
your altimeter, balance your center of gravity, directional control and your
descent in general, a lot of your fears will be addressed. Perhaps not all of
them, but a higher percentage will no longer be as problematic as they
perhaps were. This is a huge step in the right direction, which will go a long
way to making your jump easier. A lot of your fears will simply transform into
adrenalin. You will run through countless drills in advance.
Picture yourself on the airplane strut and letting yourself fall into the
atmosphere. Visualize the earth growing before you as you fall at 120 miles
(200 km)/hour. Examine all of your safety checks as you fall through the sky
in your mind. It's very important that you imagine it all. After you've done it
a few times, you may want to incorporate some potential catastrophes to see
how well you do. If you panic then practice some more.
76
Conquering Fear
If you are someone who would never do a parachute jump under any
circumstances, then equate this to an example of your own using something
that you might consider doing to overcome your fears. Make sure you use an
example where genuine fear is involved, perhaps arachnophobia or
claustrophobia.
Now that you've trained for three days, it is almost time to take the plunge.
However, as it gets closer you doubt your capabilities. Your self-confidence
has immediately plummeted. All of a sudden in one foul swoop, everything
from the last three days has now amounted to naught - although a thought
ago it was sky high.
What else can you do to prepare yourself for the jump? Remember, this is all
a part of starting from the best vantage point. We must be in the most
prepared state before we hurl ourselves out of a little airplane 2 miles in the
sky. We have product knowledge. How would you feel if you pulled out at the
last minute! Your goal would not have been achieved. Pulling out is not an
option, so do what you need to do to make this goal achievable.
The airplane takes off. You're inside, dressed up in your gear with a backpack
strapped tightly to your back, which will shortly become your life-support
system. This is a telling time. You know the next time you touch terra firma
you won't be in this machine. This is a decisive moment.
This is reality.
The climb to 10,000' seems to take an eternity (it's a slow climb anyway but
nerves intensify the time factor). Every second feels like an hour. Every
thousand feet the temperature drops 2ºC but you still sweat profusely. The
butterflies in your stomach are running riot. You really are doing this!
The door on the plane has been removed to avail an easier exit. Ever so
slowly, the Cessna 172 gets to the imminent point of (almost) no return.
Your preparation has brought you this close. It is your mindset, your outlook,
your confidence, your desire, your goal and your will. Your deep seeded
desire to attack your phobia has brought about an immense plan, which you
have worked through to get to this point. You're now at the best possible
starting point. You're mentally and physical prepared for the experience of
your life. You're about to make your goal a reality.
In many cases, this one included, the preparation itself is as much joy as the
final undertaking. Well, let's see...
You climb out and stand on the struts of the plane. Quite simple really, the
77
Conquering Fear
door's missing. The cold sweat on your hands disappears almost instantly, as
you muster enough energy to push yourself from the aircraft. Remarkably -
just as in practice you fall away from the airplane. The engine noise is
replaced by wind. Man! Tons of wind, it's blowing a gale.
The excitement of accelerating up to 120mph towards this landmass
becoming ever so bigger is an added bonus. You hadn't prepared for that. All
fear is gone; replaced by exhilaration and amazement. You even get to drop
through a cloud or two, which you only notice by color. As soon as you see it
- it's behind you.
It's only a 45 second fall. The experience of this magical moment is
something you'll never forget. Its importance in overcoming your phobia can
never ever be sold short. You pull the ripcord understanding it will stop you
meeting the ground more quickly than you would like. Although you have a
spare (emergency parachute) in the trunk, you don't expect to use it, but
preparation showed you how to do so if the situation ever arises.
Now, you are in for a huge treat. You need to guide yourself through the last
4,000' to the little "X", which is marked on the field to which you're heading.
There is a fully trained parachutist down below giving you instructions by sign
how to hit your target. You're in the bush - only a house or two can be seen
for miles. It is so still! There is no noise. Absolutely none. What a priceless
bonus. You're in your own world. Your vision is enhanced. You can see for
miles. There are cars on distant roads, birds circling below and afar, power
pylons as far as the eye can see, crops in progress, cattle grazing at their
leisure, and yes, kangaroos bounding in the distance.
Slowly but surely, the small "X" on the ground gets larger and larger.
Occasionally the wind blows through your parachute breaking the silence. A
few moments later, you impact on the turf and roll over a couple of times as
you did in training; subsequently you're not hurt.
You stand up and break the silence again with a huge scream - a scream
partially relief related that you're once again on the ground, but primarily
because you have done it. You have done it by facing your fear and
triumphed. Your inner fear has now been addressed and transposed to an
asset. Congratulations.
Ideas for success,
Darren
Written By: Darren Roberts
Subscribe to the popular "Success and Self-Motivation" Weekly publication,
78
Conquering Fear
"AAvenues 2 Your Success" and receive for free
the new E-Book "How To Build A Healthy Attitude".
Subscribe:
79
Conquering Fear
“There are risks and costs to a program of action. But they
are far less than the long range risks and costs of
comfortable inaction.” — John F. Kennedy
80
Conquering Fear
Lynne Schlumpf
Being a dreamer for all the wrong reasons (or wrong outcomes)
We as human beings like to do the old "duck and cover". Read on, and see if
you don't see some of yourself in this article.
I'll relay a story that may help illustrate. Years ago, (yes, still trying to
remind myself years ago WAS Years Ago!) I worked for a computer
consulting firm that had just about the whole city in its back pocket. Its
owners were geniuses at generating business. They could've been
millionaires. However, they let greed get the best of them and began
laundering money out of the company and sinking the profits into new cars,
new houses, and bank accounts. They forgot one really important business
rule - sink some of the profits into generating more business and into staying
"cutting edge".
One day, we all went to work on a Friday, and there was a note on the door
that we needed to get our stuff and leave. No paycheck. No explanation.
I loved that job too much, and that experience nearly destroyed me with fear
for years. I did find another job pretty quickly, but it took years to trust
anyone again.
Do you do this? Here's what I did - I let my fear rule my life for years after
that. I'm just now letting the positive part of that experience teach its
lessons. I was literally creatively paralyzed. I had trouble trusting bosses
and coworkers. I thought a firing or layoff were always biting at my heels.
This was eating me alive, even though my work as a Microsoft SQL Server
database administrator was in high demand.
A couple of companies I worked for after that did go out of business too,
making things even scarier. The thought of not being able to feed my
daughter was terrifying, to say the least. Those experiences taught me
several things I would like to share with you.
Don't get yourself into debt, if at all possible. It cripples your creativity,
lowers your self-esteem, and it often keeps people from taking risks to go
into their own business. It keeps you always "working for the man" (someone
else). You don't feel like you control your life. A banker somewhere does.
Don't assume you always know the outcome of every situation. You can
positively influence the outcome, but fear often negatively influences it. Plan
81
Conquering Fear
for the positive. Tell yourself daily that the outcome will be positive.
Don't assume you know what bosses/customers/coworkers are thinking. Ask
them. (and hope they're honest with you)
Try not to backstab, even if others do it to you. Especially don't backstab
your business partner, boss, or anyone else in your company that has the
power to make or break your livelihood. It destroys your company, whether
its your own company or someone else's
Relax everyday. Take 15-30 minutes of peace in your favorite place. It could
be your favorite comfy chair, your swimming pool, (in my case, it's my front
porch where I can watch the birds). Dream of great things there. Make it a
rule you must follow that only positive dreaming is allowed in that place and
time. Dream just like you did when you were a kid, but focus your dreams
towards those things you have always wanted. What is it that wakes you up
in the middle of the night sometimes? What nags at you to do. Dream it and
you can be it. This time to yourself will turn your fear and negatives into
positives and courage.
Once you master these concepts, fear in your life will only be useful when it
should be. Fear is a tool to be used only for warning you of potential "dumb
moves" you might be getting ready to make.
Success and peace to you!
Lynne Schlumpf
Author of the upcoming book "The Little Website That Could" at:
http://www.littlewebsitethatcould.net/
You can write to Lynne at
82
Conquering Fear
“Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious
triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take
rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor
suffer much, because they live in the grey twilight that
knows not victory nor defeat.” - Theodore Roosevelt
83
Conquering Fear
Yanik Silver
Just 28-years old, Yanik Silver is recognized as the leading expert on creating
automatic, moneymaking web sites…and he’s only been online full time since
February 2000! He believes almost everything people have been taught
about making money online is completely wrong. His Internet success
techniques only require a simple web site and you don’t even need to know
how to put up your own web page. (In fact, Yanik still doesn’t know HTML).
He is the author and publisher of several best-selling marketing books and
tools including:
http://www.InstantSalesLetters.com
http://www.InstantInternetProfits.com
http://www.MillionDollarEmails.com
http://www.AutoresponderMagic.com
http://www.33daystoonlineprofits.com
Yanik specializes in creating powerful systems and resources for
entrepreneurs to enhance their businesses.
My Father owns a Medical Equipment Sales and Services Company. A family
business. I worked for him on and off since I was about twelve years of age.
Sort of doing odd jobs here and there. Then I was in charge of advertising
and
when I was fourteen he had me doing some tele-marketing, making calls to
Dentists.
When I was sixteen and got my drivers license, my Dad sent me out to make
"cold" calls on Doctors. That was a pretty interesting time.
The reason I bring that up is because it was at this time that I really felt
fearful the most. I wanted to start doing things on my own and eventually
leave the company. My fear was in telling my Father that I wanted to do
something different and not carry on his business.
This was back in 1999 and it was a real struggle. I remember talking to my
fiancé at the time (my wife now) about this for quite some time. Talking
about how to tell him without getting him really upset. How to just do it.
I knew in my heart of hearts that I didn't want to continue selling medical
equipment. I had other things that I wanted to pursue.
At that time I had my first information marketing project which was selling a
manual to cosmetic surgeons. That was going pretty well at the time. What
made it easier for me was that I took it in smaller steps. It was kind of a
84
Conquering Fear
gradual progression and I was lucky because I worked for my Dad which
allowed me to do it this way. He let me use my cell phone to take incoming
calls for that business.
It was kind of funny. I'd be at my desk and my cell phone would ring. I'd
answer, Silver Trade Group, can I help you. I'd be sitting in my Dad's
offices explaining to Doctors what they'd be getting in the Kit I was selling
for my company. Dad let me use his fax machine to take incoming orders.
Then I asked him for one day off per week to work on my own project. I
had every Friday off for about two months.
My Father's response to the changes I was making wasn't as bad as
what I had built up in my head. I definitely think that's something we all do.
We over play what we think is going to happen. The fear I had built up was
the basic fear of the unknown. I didn't know what his reaction was going and
so created this fear of the exchange.
I gradually moved from one day a week to finally, I remember going into my
Dad's office and telling him it was time for me to go. That was an interesting
conversation. He asked me if I was sure and if I really thought I could make
it. I told him that I thought I could and that I'd still be happy to do some
advertising for him. That went on for a couple of months.
There weren't a lot of expenses associated with running my new business
and I didn't have any debt to speak of. I guess I figured that if this doesn't
work out I can always try to get my old job back.
The thing that really pushed me forward was, I knew that if I didn't take this
opportunity, I'd always look back and wonder what might have happened,
what could have been. That was the thing that really motivated me a lot.
I had been afraid that my Dad would really blow up at me and tell me how
dumb I was to give up the great opportunity of taking over his business.
I was only twenty five at the time and making a fairly good commission
selling medical equipment. What I had built into this fearful situation didn't
happen.
What I find myself doing now is, when I'm starting something new, I'll think
of what the worst case scenario could be. If I can live with that and in most
cases I know it won't happen anyway, then I just do it.
I find that the longer I put off something that I need to do, the harder it
becomes to do it. For instance, calling someone I don't know that I want
to do a project with or someone I want to interview. The longer I continue to
85
Conquering Fear
put it off, the larger the fear and uncertainty gets. It takes a hold of me and
affects what I'm thinking instead of just doing it and getting it over with. The
worst thing that could happen is, the person could say no. That's not going to
make me a worse person. I'm not going to be any less successful and before
that point I wasn't working with them anyway.
What I find really works for me is to just take action and you'll see what the
next steps are going to be. Many people want to wait until they know every
step in the process and that's usually not possible.
A good example might be that you're walking in the fog and can only see
about a hundred feet ahead of you. Your destination is still a mile down the
road. When you walk that hundred feet, you'll be able to see the next
hundred feet. You can't see the next hundred feet until you take action and
walk the first hundred. So, take action and just do it.
86
Conquering Fear
“Most of the important things in the world have been
accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there
seemed to be no hope at all.” - Dale Carnegie
87
Conquering Fear
Joe Vitale
Joe Vitale is the world's first Hypnotic Marketer. He is President of Hypnotic
Marketing, Inc., and author of way too many books to list here, including the
new book "Spiritual Marketing," the best-selling e-book "Hypnotic Writing,"
and the best-selling Nightingale-Conant audio program, "The Power of
Outrageous Marketing."
You can still have Joe's proven marketing e-course--- "Recession-Proof
Marketing"---delivered to your e-mail box every day for a week---for FREE---
You can now get Joe's new email marketing course, "Easy Marketing Secrets
for Coaches," free, by sending blank email to
mailto:hypnoticmarketing@getresponse.com
http://www.HypnoticWriting.com
http://www.AdvancedHypnoticWriting.com
http://www.CreateAdvertisingThatSells.com
http://www.HypnoticWritingSwipeFile.com
NEW! -
http://www.HypnoticMarketing.com
How Overcoming Fear Led to $21,500 in 7 Days by Joe Vitale
I remember two years, sitting right here at my computer, holding my finger
over the "send" key. I was about to send out a sales letter to my then small
database of some 800 people. The letter was going to invite them to sign-up
for a brand new online seminar---an e-mail only class on "Spiritual
Marketing," which I was going to ask them to pay $1,500 per person to
attend.
This was bold. And daring. And maybe even crazy. An e-mail ONLY class?
That meant people would get lessons by e-mail. They would never talk to me
or see me. That was different from most classes, that at least incorporated
telephone consulting.
And this e-class was on "Spiritual Marketing"? The subject alone may ruffle
some feathers. I could be seen as a flake, as a weirdo, as a con.
And $1,500 per person as the price of admission? No one had EVER charged
that much for an e-class before. Most people gave their e-classes away for
free. And here I was, about to ask one thousand and five hundred dollars!!!
88
Conquering Fear
I was afraid. I feared losing my friends, receiving nasty emails, making a fool
of myself, and regretting the whole idea.
But I also know that risk is part of life. I asked myself if I could live with
losing friends, receiving flames, and looking stupid. I decided I could bear
that cross.
I hit the send key.
What happened?
Instant success! Fifteen people wanted in that first e-class of mine. I ended
up making $21,500 in 7 days. I also created a new form of online coaching
that others are now doing. And I wrote an eBook on how people can teach
their own e-classes for high profit.
In short, I created a whole business from facing my fear!
Fear? You have it. I have it. So does everyone else. The trick is in acting
despite the fear. Always do your best to reduce the fear, but never think
you'll eliminate it. Fear is healthy. It keeps you alert. It feeds you juice you
can use to accomplish great deeds.
On the other side of it is freedom---and sometimes great profit!
(This is from my book "Spiritual Marketing." )
I admit it
I never wanted to publish this book or make it available to a wide audience.
I was scared.
I wrote this book for one person: My sister. Bonnie had three kids, was
unemployed, and was on welfare. It hurt me to see her suffer. I knew her life
could be different if she knew the five step process I developed for creating
whatever she wanted. I wrote this material for her, and only for her, in 1997.
She's now off welfare and doing fine. She's not rich yet, but I think I've
shown her a new way to live life.
I never wanted to make this book public because I was nervous about how
the world would perceive me. I've written ten books so far, for such well
known and conservative organizations as the American Marketing Association
and the American Management Association. I also have an audiotape
89
Conquering Fear
program with Nightingale-Conant. I figured if I told the world about my
interest in spirituality, people would ridicule me, clients would fire me, and
these organizations would shun me. So I played it safe and kept this book a
secret.
But in June, 1999 I felt the inner urge to give a copy of the manuscript to this
book to Bob Proctor, at the beginning of one of his Science of Getting Rich
seminars. Bob read it and loved it. And then he did something shocking.
There were 250 people in that seminar in Denver. Bob stood before them and
read off all of my book titles, and then introduced me to the crowd. I stood
and the crowd applauded. They treated me like a celebrity and I loved the
attention.
But then Bob told everyone about my new book, my unpublished book, about
this book. I was surprised. I wasn't ready for this. I held my breath. And then
Bob told them the title to it: Spiritual Marketing.
There was such a hush throughout the crowd that chills went up my spine.
Not only did people favorably react to the book, but they all wanted it, and
now. At least fifty people came up and said they wanted to buy the book. Bob
Proctor later said he wanted to record it. And one publisher in the seminar
said he wanted to publish the book, sight unseen!
My concerns about publishing this book vanished. I could see that the timing
was right to release these ideas, and I saw that I would be safe in doing so.
So here I am.
As with most things in life, there's little to be afraid of and wealth and glory
await right around the corner.
All you have to do is step forward and do the things you're being nudged
from within to do.
Bob Proctor nudged me in front of 250 people.
And the book “Spiritual Marketing” is the result.
90
Conquering Fear
“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.”
- Anaïs Nin
91
Conquering Fear
Patricia Whaley
Fear lives because we do not understand a situation or circumstance and is
THE one thing that we all need to overcome.
Last year, after 2 years of loyal and enthusiastic trading, I parted ways with a
very well known Internet company, whose business ethics had become, well,
shall we say "suspect" and I no longer wished to be associated with them.
My parting was not only painful, it was very humiliating.
Of course, I knew that this would be the case, and the CEO of the company,
took great glee in trying to ruin not only my reputation, but my self esteem.
(I hope he knows one of the laws of the universe, in that what goes around,
comes around.)
I digress!
Before I made this huge decision to leave, I was filled with dread and a lot of
fear.
Fear of starting over. Fear of "going it alone." Fear of losing friends and
business associates. Fear of going outside of my comfort zone.
Fear of losing all the money I had already made with this company, knowing
that I would never see a penny of it! (Lesson here for all. Read the small
print in your contracts)
In short, I had many a sleepless night worrying about the decision that I
knew I had to make, but make it I did.
Yes, it was scary, like a tornado it eventually passed and things settled down
and I have been able to slowly re-build a new business. Fear only has power
because we give it power!
In short, if I had not severed my association with this particular company,
the FEAR would have triumphed.
Instead, I faced my fear, I listened to my gut instinct, (never lets you down
by the way) and am now on my way to achieving my goals and dreams.
So much for Fear, which by the way stands for:
F ailed
93
Conquering Fear
“Whether you be man or woman you will never do anything
in this world without courage. It is the greatest quality of the
mind next to honor.”
- James Lane Allen
94
Conquering Fear
Bob Kleine
My own experiences with fear were the initial impetus behind the writing and
compiling of this eBook project.
Since early childhood I've battled my fears, almost daily. Often they would
get the best of me. Many times I saw things I wanted to do, people I wanted
to meet and situations I wanted to be a part of go down in the flames of my
own indecisions and fears.
I was often too afraid to speak, too scared to act; paralyzed into indecision.
I grew up in a home with a domineering father and a mother who never
questioned his authority or his decisions. My Dad was not one who handed
out praise or compliments for a job well done. He had no problem though,
dishing out criticism for anything he perceived as not my best. Since my best
was never good enough; well, you get the picture. A heck of a lot of criticism
and very little positive reinforcement.
Now, don't get me wrong. My parents were not bad people. They raised us
(my older bother and sister and myself) the best way they knew how. Saying
that, I must admit that the strict upbringing and lack of acknowledgement
caused many problems for me as I grew and some that linger with me still.
Growing into manhood, I always had the fear that I wasn't good enough,
smart enough or tough enough. You name it, I wasn't good enough at it.
I felt I lacked the ability to accomplish anything well enough to please
my employers, my friends or my family.
Even though my grades, throughout my school years, were well above
average, my insecurities and fears kept me from applying myself to anything
other than menial occupations after leaving school.
Then something wonderful happened.
I was working for the distribution arm of a major veterinary drug company. I
started there as a delivery driver. A truck driver.
Through a series of events, I ended up managing the night shift in the
warehouse. At the time, the average overtime per employee, per week, had
reached an astounding twenty to thirty hours. These guys were working
almost two weeks worth of hours in a weeks time. Every week.
I had, in a conversation with another of our drivers, mentioned that I thought
95
Conquering Fear
I could cut the overtime down to zero hours per week. Somehow, my
comments got to the general manager and he called me into his office. He
wasn't very happy at the thought of me mouthing off that I could run his
warehouse better than he could. He told me that if I thought I could actually
do what I claimed, then I should go ahead and get it done.
He temporarily assigned me as night shift supervisor. I understood that if
I couldn't accomplish what I claimed, I'd most likely be looking elsewhere
for a job, and soon. I was terrified!
I was faced with a real dilemma. I did believe I could accomplish the task
before me. I'd worked in warehousing and distribution for a number of years
and knew that the methods they were employing were in need of a major
overhaul. The dilemma, of course, was my fear of being inadequate. Not
being good enough.
I slept very little the night before my new assignment began. Thoughts ran
through my mind of the things I was brought up to believe. Not smart
enough. Not good enough. Never do anything well enough.
I managed to get myself to work the next afternoon, but it wasn't easy. I
really liked working for this company and had friends there. The fear of
losing that job and those friends is probably what got me to work and
through that first night.
I'd backed myself into a corner by making the claims I'd made. Now, in order
to stay with the company, I had to back them up with actions.
Well, as it turned out, I did reduce overtime to zero hours per week and
in only three weeks time. I'm not saying that to brag, but in amazement.
For the first time in my life, I'd stood up to my fear and found that I was
good enough. I could perform well enough and I was smart enough.
Within two years I found myself managing this companies second largest
warehouse distribution center. A quarter of a million square foot facility
with forty delivery trucks and annual sales of over thirty million dollars.
I finally faced my fear by using fear itself. I defeated the fears of not
being good enough using the fear of losing job and friends.
I still battle these types of fears today as I'm sure some of you do. When
faced with similar situations, I remember the things I was able to accomplish
when I stood up to my fear and just went ahead and did the task at hand.
96
Conquering Fear
Throughout this book, many people, from different walks of life, have shared
with you their own particular journeys through the clutches of fear and the
resultant triumph when they burst through to victory.
Numerous fears have been written about here.
Fear of:
Heights
Falling
Death
Pain
Abandonment
Failure
Anger
People
Inadequacy and many more.
Which ones do you own?
Whichever fears are yours, we hope that through the stories you've read in
these pages, you can find the courage to push your way through.
Take that step into the unknown. Make that small leap of faith and reach the
success that is right there waiting for you, on the other side of the chasm.
It can be yours. Don't let the mind killer destroy your hopes and dreams.
Just go ahead and do it.
Bob Kleine is Webmaster and owner of
http://www.opportunityknoxx.com
Bob is author of “One Soul”, a children’s eBook, the novel “God’s Committee”
and the Author, editor and compiler of “The Mind Killer”.
97
Conquering Fear
“Last, but by no means least, courage-moral courage, the
courage of one's convictions, the courage to see things
through. The world is in a constant conspiracy against the
brave.” - Douglas MacArthur
98
Conquering Fear
The Entrepreneurs Prayer
As I awaken with the gift of yet another day and prepare for the tasks at
hand, I offer up this most ardent prayer:
I pray for continued clarity of purpose so that I may hold my vision steady
and keep my focus on the needs and success of others, which in turn shall
bring me my success.
I pray for the wisdom to expect abundance in my life, that it surrounds me
and is available for the taking and to be shameless and unapologetic upon its
receipt, for I deserve abundance.
I pray for a cheerful countenance, be it clear or cloudy skies and that I may
radiate and infect others with my positive attitude.
I pray for the trust of others that they may recognize my sincerity and true
intentions so that we may move forward together.
I pray for the strength to fend off adversity and use my desire and
determination as both weapon and shield.
I pray for the courage to carry forth my convictions during the battle of
business and to resist temptation to a quicker monetary result when such
temptation compromises these things for which I stand.
I pray that I may be used as a lightning rod to collect the amazing ideas
already present in the universe and when blessed with such inspiration, that I
may be able to apply my talents and abilities to turn the power of thought
into measurable advancement of my goals.
I pray to retain my childhood wonder so that I can recognize and revel in the
small miracles of each day that others may miss.
I pray for an infinite supply of self-confidence for it alone fortifies faith,
strengthens my resolve and conquers the largest enemy I will ever face -
fear.
I pray for a compassionate spirit and the patience to offer those who seek my
advice and my help, my full and undivided attention.
I pray for good health and a feeling of well being, and the continued desire to
improve those areas of my physical life I may be neglecting in the name of
99
Conquering Fear
my spiritual and entrepreneurial advancement.
I pray that today is a day of excellence and at its conclusion I can
acknowledge and be grateful for the forward motion I have made and the
growth I have experienced.
I pray most of all for the understanding and support of those closest to my
heart, my family, that they will equate what may seem like endless hours of
apparent pre-occupation with affairs of business to what is at the very core of
my being, that which drives me, for once I achieve what I have set out in its
fullest, I will become that more complete being I strive to be.
It is for these things that I pray, for I am an entrepreneur.
(c) 1999 Rick Beneteau
MY RESOURCE BOX
Rick Beneteau is the author of the best-selling marketing
eBook, The Ezine Marketing Machine at:
Rick invites you to partner with him in his top rated
affiliate programs at:
and,
subscribe to his FREE, highly acclaimed Mirror Ezine:
(c) 1999 Rick Beneteau
100
Conquering Fear
The Ice Cream 'Comb' Story
She was three. Just released from a far-away hospital after life threatening
brain surgery, ready to take on the world again. I was happy just to have her
back. My little "Mr. Clean" (shaven head and hoop earrings) and me driving
along to our local mall. Hanging out with dad day. I recall her words as if it
were yesterday.
"Daddy, can I get a treat?"
As she was understandably spoiled (if there is such a thing), I replied "ok
honey, but just ONE".
Her eyes beamed like the Fourth of July in anticipation of that something only
she knew at the time.
We drove around to the new end of the mall on the normal seek-and-destroy
mission of capturing a parking place. After all, it was Saturday. We landed a
fair distance from our destination, and began walking hand-in-hand towards
the entrance, her pace gaining momentum with each tiny step. A few feet
from the doors she broke loose and ran hands-first into the thick wall of
glass, trying with everything she had to swing the big doors open. No luck.
With a little assistance, she 'did it' and tried the very same thing at the
second set of doors.
It was then that I asked her what she wanted for her treat. Without
hesitation, she matter-of-factly said "an ice-cream comb from the ice-cream
store". Ok, the goal was set and we were in the mall!
But hold on! What was this? At the end of what was just an ordinary looking
lane of retail chain outlets she spied something new- this huge fountain,
water shooting who knows how high into the air. The new goal line!
She ran, and I walked (don't ya just hate it when parents let their kids run
wild in public?), and we arrived at the spectacle at about the same time. The
turbulent noise was almost deafening.
"Daddy, can I make a wish, can I make a wish?" she screamed as she
jumped with the kind of pure joy we've all long since forgotten.
"Sure honey, but that will be YOUR TREAT you know" I explained (gotta be
firm with these kind of things).
She agreed.
101
Conquering Fear
I fumbled around in my pocket and pulled out what I think was a dime (big
spender) and placed it in her outstretched hand. She cupped it tightly, closed
her eyes and grimaced, formulating her wish. I stared at that little
scrunched-up face and said my own kind of prayer of thanks, feeling so
blessed to still have this ball of energy in my life. And then like a shooting
star, the coin was flung into the foaming water and with it, her wish.
We happily continued our stroll into the familiar section of the mall. An eerie
silence ensued, which I was admittedly uncomfortable with. I couldn't resist
breaking it.
"Aren't you gonna tell daddy what you wished for?"
She retorted "I wished I could get an ice-cream comb".
I just about lost it right then and there. Couldn't imagine what the shoppers
thought of this lunatic laughing uncontrollably in the middle of a crowded
mall. And needless to say, she got her wish, and two treats.
Little did I know then that my beautiful little girl would soon embark on a
long road of seizures, surgeries, special schools, medications and end up
partially paralyzed on her right side. She never learned to ride a bike.
Today, she is almost seventeen. She cannot use her right hand and walks
with a noticeable limp. But she has overcome what life seemed to so cruelly
inflict on her. She was teased a lot and always struggled in school, both
socially and academically. But each year she showed improvement. She is
planning a career in early childhood education. With one year still remaining
in high school, her and I, one night not too long ago mapped out all the
courses she would need to take in community college. It was her idea. She
volunteers weekly at a local hospital, on the children's floor. She baby-sits a
neighbors children five days a week. On her own this year, she stood outside
in line for four hours on a cold Canadian January afternoon and enrolled
herself, with her own babysitting money, into two courses she felt she would
need for college.
You see, to her failure was never an option.
It would almost be redundant for me to explain why I wanted to share this
story with you. She IS my daughter and I carry all those fatherly biases with
me wherever I go. But these aside, she is a very exceptional person and one
that I admire and have learned a lot from.
It is my sincerest hope that her story will have even a momentary positive
102
Conquering Fear
impact on you as a human being, a parent, a spouse or even, an
entrepreneur.
I'd like to leave you with a closing thought. As human beings, we deserve all
the treats, and the multitude of good things that life can offer us. We all have
wishes and dreams, AND the power to make them reality. Just simple truths
of the universe.
We can wish for, and get, that ice-cream comb.
(c) 1999 Rick Beneteau
Rick Beneteau is the author of the best-selling marketing
eBook, The Ezine Marketing Machine at:
Rick invites you to partner with him in his top rated
affiliate programs at:
and,
subscribe to his FREE, highly acclaimed Mirror Ezine: