BYYOURRULES

NewYorkCityFixers#1

AllyDecker

Shehatesthepubliceye.

ClaireDowsonisfocusedonhercareerasanNYPDdetectiveandavoidsmediaattention.Shegets

enoughslackatworkforbeingthemayor’sdaughter,shedoesn’tneedanythingmore.Butwhenherfather
announceshisSenaterun,hermotherasksforonemeetingwiththefixersteam,andClaire,againsther
betterjudgment,givesin.

He’snotreadytowatchherleave.

NateUrbanisafixerfortheNewYork’srichandpowerful,andafteryearsinthebusiness,he’sa

hardmantosurprise.Butwhentheclient’sdaughtercomesintotheofficeforconsultationonwhatwas
supposedtobeaneasycase,he’sthrowncompletelyoffbalance.Thelastthingonhismindishisjob.

Themutualattractionmakestheriskseemworthtaking,butthey’renottheonlyplayersinthis

game.

CHAPTERONE

ClaireDowsonhadnothingagainstMondaysperse,butthisonewasreallytryingherpatience.
First,herneighborwokeherupatfive,droppingwhatseemedlikeaherdofsmallelephantsonthe

floor,rightaboveClaire’sbed.She’dneverexperiencedanearthquake,butshesuspectedthatwhat
happenedmight’vebeensimilartoone.

Unabletogobacktosleep,Clairerolledaroundinbedforanothertwentyminutesbeforedragging

herselfoutintothekitchen,onlytorealizeshedidn’thaveanycoffeeotherthananinstantvanilla
cappuccinosomething-somethingshegotasagiftalongtimeago.She’dneverhadanyintentionof
actuallydrinkingthatstuff,whichwaswhyitwastuckedawayinthebackofthecabinet,butwithno
othercoffee-relatedproductintheapartment,shedidn’tseeanyotheroption.

Thedrinkwasawful,andshedrainedthecupafteronesip.
ShehadnootherchoicebuttofleeherhousetothenearestStarbucksandendeduphittingthe

department’sgymearlierthanusual.Theplacewasempty—itwas,afterall,sixinthemorningon
Monday—andasClairewentthroughherusualroutine,shetriednottothinkaboutthesadstateofherlife
thatlandedherhere.

Unfortunately,thatwasn’tallthatparticularMondaymorninghadinstoreforher.Twohourslater,

alreadyonherthirdcupwhileherfellowdetectiveswerestillwakingupattheirdeskwiththeirfirst
coffees,shemadeamistakeoflookingupattheTVtheyhadhangingatthelongwallnearthedoor.Itwas
muted,asusual,andsetononeofthenewschannels,likealways.

Andthatwaswhenshesawit.
HerfatherwasstandinginfrontoftheCityHall,andtherewasacaptionbelow,saying“MAYOR

DOWSONANNOUNCESASENATERUNTHISFALL”.

Oh,forGod’ssake.
Sheglancedaround,hopingpeoplewerestilltryingtowakeupandweren’tinterestedinthenews.

AndClaire’sluckseemedtobeturning,becauseindeed,everyoneinthebullpenwasignoringtheTV.

Thenthelieutenantappearedintheopendoorwaytohisoffice,andfromthewayhelookedstraight

ather,sheknewshewasscrewed.

“Well,well,well,Dowson,arecongratulationsinorder?”heaskedloudenoughthatpeopleinthe

holdingcellscouldprobablyhearhim.

Clairewantedtoslidedowninherseatuntilshedisappearedcompletely,butinstead,she

straightenedinherseat.“No,sir,thatwon’tbenecessary.”

“Areyousure?Youjustadvancedinyourcelebritystatus.Letusknowshouldyourequireany

assistance.”

Claireclaspedherhandstogetherunderherdesk.“I’msure,sir.”
Withthat,thelieutenantnoddedandwentbacktohisoffice,butnowtheentirebullpenwasstaring

ather.Clairedecidedtoignorethem,tonotsayanythingwithout—

“Whatwasthatabout,Dowson?”Portmanaskedfromhisseattwodesksbehindher.Hewasa

decentdetective,buthewasalsothebiggestgossipintheirprecinct.

“LookupattheTV.”ItwasNewittwhosavedherfromthereply,hissharptonediscouragingany

discussion.Shewasgrateful,evenifsheknewtheguyhardlydiditforher.Hejustdidn’tcareabout
anythingotherthanhiscasesanddidn’tlikewhentheyweretalkingaboutpersonalmatters.

“Shit,”Lori,Claire’spartnerandbestfriend,mutteredattheothersideoftheirjoineddesks.
Clairestareddownatthereportinfrontofher,tryingtopretendlikeshedidn’thearanythingor

anyone.Thelastthingshewantedtodowasdiscussherfather.

Thefatherwhohadn’teventhoughtofinformingherhewasgoingtorunfortheSenate.
Damnit.Claireranherteethoverherlowerlip.Havingthemayorforafatherwasannoying,but

she’dlearnedtolivewithoccasionaljabsfromhercoworkersorherboss.She’dlearnedtodealwiththe
factthatanyoff-handedcommentinthesquadabouthowthingsshouldbeinthecitywasfollowedby
glancesinherdirectionandtellingsilence.She’dlearnednottoreact,andtheimpulsestogivepeoplea
pieceofhermindhappenedlessandless.

Shecould’vetoldthemthatshebarelyspokewithherfatherandthattheysaweachotheronlyafew

timesayear,butsheknewitwouldn’taccomplishanything.Besides,shewasn’tgoingtoairdirtylaundry
asherdefense.Hercoworkerswouldstilltalkiftheywantedtotalk,andtherewasnowayshewas
givinganyonetheammunitiontoactuallyhurther.OnlyLoriknewthetruth,andClaireintendedtokeepit
thatway.

Herphonestartedringinginherjacketpocket,andshepulleditout,takingadeepbreathwhenshe

sawhermother’sID.Clairestoodupandheadedtothebreakroom,miraculouslyemptyatthistimeofthe
day.

“Hey,Mom,”shesaid,pickinguprightaftersheclosedthedoorandprobablyrightbeforethecall

wouldgotothevoicemail.

“Hi,Claire,honey.”Hermother’svoicewaswarm,likealways,butitwasstilleasytopickupthe

nervousnessunderneathit.Clairehadlearnedtorecognizethosetensenotesalongtimeago.Thatwasthe
voiceofawomanwhohadlearnedtocleanupafterherhusband.Godknowsshehadenoughpractice.“I
knowyou’reatwork—”

“It’sokay,Mom,whatisit?”Clairestoodatthewindow,withherbacktothedoorandtothe

curiouseyesundoubtedlywatchingherthroughtheglass.

“Haveyouseenthenewstoday?”
Clairesnortedbeforeshemanagedtostopherself.Hermotherdidn’tneedherattitude,butitwasa

battletoalwayskeepthelidonthings.“I’veseentheannouncement,ifthat’swhatyoumean.”Thanksfor
theheadsup.Ireallyappreciateit.

“Y-yes,Ido.I’msorryyoufoundoutlikethat,butyourfather’sbeensobusylately,sofocused

on…”

Anotherthingshehadlearnedyearsagowastotuneouttheendlesslistofexcuseshermother

alwayshadready.ItdidnothingbutmakeClaireangry.

“Mom,”shefinallycutin.“Mom,I’msorry,butI’matwork.Didyouwanttotalkaboutsomething

elseorjust”makeexcuses“tellmeaboutthenews?”

Therewasaslightpauseandaquietsighontheotherendoftheline.“Iknowyou’vealwayssaid

thatyoudon’twanttobeapartofyourfather’scampaigns…”

“AndIstilldon’t.”Nowayinhellwouldshetakepartinthiscircus.
“Iunderstand,ofcourse.Butyourfatherhiredacompanytohelphim,andtheyinsistedonmeeting

thewholefamily.”

“What?Idon’tknowwhatsomepoliticalstrategistsneedmeforifIsaidI’mnottakingpartin

anything.”

“It’snotthat.It’s…waitasecond,Ihaveacardhere…Foster,Young,andUrban.They’refixers.”
Oh,Claireknewwhotheywere.Thatfirm—nicknamedFixYouUp,aswellasthemoreaggressive

FuckYouUp—handleddifficultsituationsfortheclientswhohadmoneytopayforthosesituationstobe
fixed.Thecompanyhadonlybeenaroundforafewyears,buttheywerenotoriousfortheirefficiency.It
wasn’toftenthattheirworkinterferedwithpoliceinvestigations,butwhenitdid…Well.Thatmore
aggressivenicknamewasdefinitelycoinedbytheirdepartment.

Andnowherfatherhadhiredthem.
“Wait,whydidhegotothem?Whathappened?”
“Nothing,nothinghappened,”hermomassuredherquickly.“Butcampaigningthesedays…Itcan

getdirty.Yourememberthelastelections...Itwasaclosecall.”

Clairerememberedthatmessverywell.Herfather’sopponentdraggedhimthroughthemudabout

somesupposedlyshadydealswithotherhigh-rankingcityofficials,includingthepolicecommissioner.
Nothingcameoutofitandherfatherultimatelywon,althoughbyasmallmargin.

Andshehaddailycommentarythroughouttheentirecampaignfromhalfherprecinct.
God,shedidnotwanttogothroughthatagain.
“Yourfatherwantstogetaheadofanythingtheymaythrowathim,”hermothercontinued.“He

doesn’tfeelhiscampaignteamisgoingtobeenough.”

NoonewasgoodenoughforClaire’sfather—asidefromhimself,ofcourse—soshewasn’t

surprisedintheleast.“Whydotheyneedme?”sheasked,curlingherfingersaroundheropposite
shoulder.“Justtellthem—”

“Yourfathertoldthemyoudon’twanttotakepartinthecampaign,andtheywon’tmakeyou.They

justwantonemeetingtogooverwhatnocampaigningwillentail.”

“Nocampaigningisjustthat,”Clairepointedout,glaringthroughthewindowatthewallonthe

othersideoftheprecinct’sbackalley.Hermothersoundedlikeshewasquotingsomeoneelse.This,too,
wassomethingbothofthemhadmorethanenoughpracticeinovertheyears.

“Honey,please.”
Andshehatedit,hatedhowhermotherjustwentalongwitheverythingherfathercameupwith—

andhowoftensheendedupgivingin,too.Shetoldherselfitwasforhermother’ssake,butitdidn’tmake
itanyeasier.

“I’mfreeaftersixtodayandtomorrow,”shefinallysaid,rubbingherhandoverthetenselineofher

shoulder.

“Great,wehaveanappointmentatsixthirtytoday.Wecanpickyouupor—”
“I’llmeetyouthere.”Nowayshewasgettingpickedupfromtheprecinctbyherfather’sentourage.

She’dneverheartheendofit.

“Okay.Thankyou,honey.I…”Hermompausedandthensighedagain.“Seeyoutonight.”
“Seeyou.”
Claireputherphonebackinherpocketbutdidn’tmoveawayfromthewindowforanotherminute.

Whatthehelldidshejustgetherselfinto?She’dswornforyearsthatshedidn’twanttohaveanythingto
dowithherfather’spoliticalcareer.She’ddistancedherselffromitall,andpeoplehadstillmade
assumptionsabouther.Andnowshewasgoingtoameetingtodiscussherlackofengagement?

Shetookadeepbreath,tryingtorelaxhertensedshoulders.Onemeeting,thatwasit.Onemeeting,

andshewasout.

CHAPTERTWO

NateFosterhadbeenafixerforoverthreeyearsnow,andbeforethat,he’dspentafewmoreasa

lawyer,sodemandingandoverbearingclientsweren’tanythingnew.Inhisexperience,peopleincrisis
wereeithershowingtheirbestortheirworst—rarelysomethinginbetween.Andsadly,he’dgottentosee
thelateronesmuchmoreoften.

Ithadchangedabitoncehe’dswitchedcareers,movingfromcorporatelawfirmtothefixing

companyhe’dstartedwithhistwobestfriends.Withthatshift,cametheprivilegeofchoosingtheirown
work,andithadhelpedsaveNate’sfledgingfaithinhumanity.Hecouldsaynoatanytime,andhe’ddone
so,morethanonce.

Buthealsowouldn’thaveaprosperousfirminthemiddleofDowntownManhattanifhe’dturned

awayeverydemandingclienthewasn’tsosureabout.

AndthatwashowRichardDowson,theNewYorkCity’sincumbentmayor,hadfoundhiswayinto

theiroffice.Thefixerscouldn’texactlysaynotoatleastameetingwiththeguy,andoncehe’dcomeover,
they’dhadnovalidreasontorefusetoworkforhim.Hewasdemanding,andheactedlikeheknewbetter
thaneveryoneelse,buthewasn’tabadguy—atleastnotatfirstglance.Nateknewalltoowellthings
weren’talwaysliketheyappearedtobe.

“Iwantprevention,”DowsontoldhimandShawn,oneofNate’spartners.“EverythingI’veever

done,everydecisionI’vemadeasamayor,willbeexaminedandquestioned.I’msuretherewillbemore
thanonefire.That’swhatpoliticsislike.”Heshrugged,lookingathismainadviser,EdwardTally,who
hadcomewithhimbutbarelysaidawordthroughoutthemeeting.

Surelyenough,astheystartedtogetthroughthesensitiveareas,one“fire”cameupprettyquickly.

ClaireDowson,NYPDdetectiveandDowson’sonlydaughter,whoabsolutelyrefusedtotakepartinher
father’spoliticallife.Natedidn’tknowiftherewasanythingelsethere,butitwasenoughforpeopleto
startaskinguncomfortablequestionsandforcampaignmanagementnottouse“familyman”rhetoricmore
thannecessary.Henoteditdowntoinvestigatefurther.Talkwithdaughterifpossible,hewroteand
underlinedit.

WhenhebroughtitupattheendofthemeetingandsuggestedtheyshouldinviteClairenexttime,the

mayor’swifeshookherheadquickly.BarbaraDowsonhadbarelysaidawordthroughoutthemeetingso
farandseemedtogoalongeverythingherhusbandsaid.Untilnow.

“Aswementioned,Clairewantstobeherownpersonanddoesn’twanttobeapartofthepublic

lifeofourfamily.Shewon’tagreetobeapartofthecampaign,andwe’renotgoingtomakeher.”

ThelastpartwasstressedandprobablynotforNateorShawn’sbenefit,ifthewayshelookedat

herhusbandandhisadviserwasanythingtogoby.

“Weunderstandthat,andwewon’ttrytochangehermind,”Shawnsaidwithagentlesmilethat

Nateknewcoulddisarmmostwomen.“Thatwouldbesimplyaresearchmeeting,totalkandfindout
whatweneedtoprepareourselvesfor.Allofus.”Shawnleanedforwardandrestedhiselbowsonthe
table.“Clairemaywanttostayaway,butwiththecampaignprocessasitis,peoplewillstilltrytopull
herinit.Ifwemeetandtalk,wecanfigureouthowtomakesureshe’sbestshieldedfromitandwhat‘no
campaigning’wouldentailinthiscase.”

BarbaraDowsonnodded,butshedidn’tlookconvinced.Beforeshecouldsayanything,though,her

husbandwavedhishandinadismissivegesture.

“Fine,sure.We’llaskhertocome.”
Natedidn’tmissthewayBarbara’sshouldersseemedtoslump.Itwassubtle,shestillsatstraight

andpoised,butthegestureofdefeatwasunmistakabletoatrainedeye.

Oh,yes,ClaireDowsonwasdefinitelyafirehazardforthecampaign.

***

OnMondayafternoon,theyhadthepreliminaryreportonthemayorwithafewpotentialredflags

butnothingtoodamning.Theguymightnotbethecity’sdarling,buthewasstilldoingfineinthepolls
andwithnopersonalscandals,thatwasaprettygoodbaseforthesenatecampaign.

Thebiggestredflagremainedthesame—therelationshipwiththedaughter.Natelookedatthephoto

onthescreenofhistablet,Claire’seyesarrestinghisattention.Watchout,theyseemedtobesaying.
Watchoutforme.

Hecouldseeitinherjuttedjaw,too,andintheperfectlineofhershoulders—shehadsomethingto

proveandshewasreadyforit.Morethanready,ifthefilewasanythingtogoby:topmarksinthe
academy,higharrestscore,includingafewprominentdrugbusts,andaboveaverageintheperformance
reviews.Clairewaslikelylookingatapromotionwithinayearorso.Nateknewitwouldlookgreatfor
themayor,butsadly,unlessshehadachangeofheartintheverynearfuture,theywouldn’tbeabletouse
it.

Heputthetabletdownandwalkeduptothewindowstolookatthecity.Thisview,alongwiththe

top-to-bottomwindowsineachpartner’soffice,wasthereasontheyhadpickedthisplace,evenifatthe
timeithadbeentooexpensivefortheirbudgetandthesanethingtodowouldhavebeentogosomewhere
else.Buttheyhadbeenflyinghighonamuchbiggerrisk—allthreeofthemresigningfromthefirmthey’d
spentyearsinafterlawschool—andonemoregambledidn’tseemlikeitwouldmakeadifference.

Notabadone,atleast.
SeventhfloorofficeinDowntownusuallymeantstaringattheotherofficesthroughthewindow,but

hereitwasdifferent.Withnohigherbuildingsstandingintheway,theycouldseetheBrooklynskylineon
theothersideoftheriver,withManhattanBridgepartiallyvisibletotheside.Itwasamilliondollar
view,withapricetagthathadseemedlikeamillionbuckstothematthetime.Buttheyhadlookedat
eachotherandknownthatthiswasit.Theymighthavetofakeittilltheymakeit,buttheyweren’tletting
thisgo.

Afewyearslater,therentwasnolongerapain,buttheviewwasasbreathtakingasonthatfirst

day.AndNatehadspenthoursuponhoursstaringatitwhilepreparingforonecaseoranother,ortryingto
decideonthebeststrategy.

Thiscasewasnodifferent.AshewatchedtheslopesoftheManhattanBridge,hewentover

everythinghetalkedaboutwithShawnandtherestoftheteamearlier.Itdidn’tlooklikeahardcase,and
probablyaftertonight’smeeting,eitherNateorShawnwouldtakealead,sinceitdidn’twarranttwoof
thematthehelm.Settingupastrategybeforethestormhappenedwasmucheasierthanputtingdownfires,
butitwasusuallyalong-termgame.

Theknockonthedoormadehimturn.“Comein.”
Shawnstuckhisheadin.“Thedaughterishere.”
Nateglancedattheclock.Sixtwentyfive.Themayorstillhadtime,buthisdaughterprobably

wasn’tgoingtolikewaiting.

“I’vegotit.”
Whenhecaughtsightofherinthelobby,ClaireDowsonwasfacingaway,butshehadtohearhim

comingsincesheturnedaroundbeforehecouldsayanything.

Shewastall,andhercurlyredhairwasloose,fallingtohershoulders,notpulledbacklikeinthe

photohe’dseenofher.Butitwashereyesthatcaughthisattentiononceagain.Theywereevenmore
arrestinginperson,andNatewonderedifthechallengewasalwaysinthere,orifshewaspreparingfora
fight.

Whateveritwas,hecouldn’tlookaway.
“Hello,mynameisNathanielUrban.WelcometoFoster,Young,andUrban.”

Sheofferedhimherhandtoshakebutdidn’trespondtohissmilewithoneofherown.Instead,she

raisedhereyebrows.“ClaireDowson.Ihavetosay,Ididn’texpecttoevervisityouroffice.”

“Whyisthat?”
“I’msureyou’reawareyouhaveacertain…reputationinthepolicedepartment.”Shetossedher

hairbackbutkepthereyesonhim,andNatefelttheflameofinterestrising.Shewasachallengehe
wouldgladlytakeon.

Itwashisturntoraisehiseyebrows.“Forefficiency?”
Shesnorted,butbeforeshecouldsayanything—andNatewouldbetshewasn’tgoingtominceher

words—theentrancedooropenedandinwalkedthemayorandhiswife,flankedbytheirpersonaldetail.

“Claire!”BarbaraDowsoncameuptoherdaughterandhuggedhertightly.“Sogoodtoseeyou.”
Motheranddaughterareclose,Natenotedbeforelookingatthemayor,whowalkeduptohimand

shookhishand.ThenShawnappearedathisside,andaminutelater,theywereallsettlinginthe
conferenceroom.Andifnoonepaidanyattention,theywouldmisshowClaireandherfatherbarely
lookedateachother.Natedidn’tmissit,however,andfromthelookShawngavehim,hispartnerdidn’t,
either.

Goodthingtheyhadn’tbeenexpectingthehappyfamilyreunion.

CHAPTERTHREE

Inlessthantenminutes,itwasclearthatClairewascompletelywastinghertimehere.Shehadno

interestinlisteningaboutherfather’scampaignplan,donors’list,andthesocialmediastrategy,andeven
NateUrban’scharmingsmilecouldn’tkeepher—Wait,what?

“Claire?”
Themanlookedstraightather,andevenifhecouldn’tpossiblyknowwhatshewasjustthinking,

shefoundherselfdartinghergazetowardshispartnerbeforesheforcedherselftolookbackatNate.

“I’msorry?”
“Iwasjustsayingthatsincemostofwhatwe’llcoverdoesn’tincludeyou,weshouldmoveonto

thereasonwhyyou’rehere,sowewouldn’twasteyourtime.”

“Thatwouldbenice.”Shewinced.“Sorry,Ididn’tmean…”Well,shedidmeanit,butshehadn’t

intendedtojustblurtitoutlikethat.

Evenifherfather’stighteningjawalmostpromptedhertokeepgoing.God,hereallybroughtoutthe

worstinher.

“It’sfine,”Natesaid,tappinghispenoverthepapersinfrontofhimanddraggingherattentionback

tohim.“Weknowyoudon’twanttogetinvolved.That’swhyweaskedtoseeyou.”

“That’s…counterintuitive.”Sheshookherhead.“Idon’tknowwhatyouneedmefor.”
NateandShawnexchangedglances,andNatenodded,turningbacktoher.
“I’llbebrutallyhonestwithyou.Whetheryouwanttoornot,there’snowaytocompletelyerase

youfromthiscampaign.However,”headdedquicklywhensheopenedhermouthtoprotest,“onemeeting
nowtofigureouthowtobestminimizeyourpartcansaveallofus,includingyou,timeandstressdown
theline.”

“Idon’tgetwhyyoucan’tcompletelyeraseme.”
“Becauseweliveintheworldof24-hournewscycle,andeverythingbecomesastoryatsome

point,”Natetoldher.“Yourfather’sjustamayornow,andyoutellme,doesithavezeroimpactonyour
life?”

Shesnorted,shakingherhead.“No,itdoesn’t.That’swhyIdon’twantevenmoreexposure.”
Herfathersatbackinhischairwithahuff,butshedecidedtoignorehim.Shedidn’tcomehereto

fight.Shewashereasacourtesytohermother,thatwasall.

“Justlikealotofexposure,minimalexposurealsoneedsaproperplan,”Shawnspokeup.“Ifyou

say‘nocomment’,peoplearemorelikelytoleaveyoualonethanwhenyousay‘Idon’twanttotalkabout
it’,forexample.”

Clairefrowned.“What’sthedifference?”
“’Nocomment’iscutanddrybutifyousayyoudon’twanttodosomething,they’remoreinclined

toaskwhy.They’remoreinclinedtoaskmorequestions,eitherbypesteringyoumoreorbyspeculating
ontheair.”

Sheranahandthroughherhairandtuggedattheends.“Fine,soI’llanswerwith‘nocomment’to

everything.”

Natenodded.“Isthereanyspecifictopicthatmaycomeup?Somethingthemediakeeppestering

youabout?”

“No,theyleavemealonenow.”Claireglancedatherparents.Herfatherwasstaringatthepapers

infrontofhim,andmomwasofferingheranencouragingsmile.Howfitting.“Theyweremorepersistent
duringthefirstrunformayor,butIwasarookiethen,andluckilymytrainingofficerwasgoodatscaring
themoff.Therewereafewphotosofmeintheuniformbutthat’saboutit.Ialwaysgotmoreheatinside
thedepartmentthanoutsideofit.”

Clairerecognizedhermistakewhenmomscrunchedherfaceinherpatented“oh,poorbaby”

grimace.Damnit.Anotherreasonwhythiswholethingwasabadidea.

“Butit’sfine,”sheaddedquickly,turningtolookatthefixersagain.“Ijustdon’twantmoreheat,

okay?Soifyourplanwastotalkmeinto—”

Nateshookhishead.“Notalkingyouintoanything.Wereallyjustwanttomakeitaspainlessas

possiblenow.Let’sjustgooverafewmorethings,andthenwewillletyougo,okay?”

Withthatface,hehadtobeusedtopeople—especiallywomen—doingwhateverheaskedthemto,

andpartofClairewantedtorebeljustonprinciple.Butshewasn’tateenageranymore,andshereallydid
wanttogethomeatareasonablehour.Shenoddedasshesaggedintoherseat.

“Sure,okay.”
Truetohisword,twentyminuteslatertheyseemedtohavecoveredeverythingtheywantedfrom

her,andShawnannouncedshewasfreetogo.

Shegotupfromherchairwithrenewedenergy.Asshehuggedhermomgoodbye,Nateglancedat

Shawnandstoodupaswell.

“I’llwalkyouout.”
“It’sokay,Icanfindmywayout,”shesaid,pullingbackfromhermom’sembrace,buthewas

alreadyopeningthedoorforher.ShenoddedtoShawnandherfatherandmutteredagoodbyeasshe
passedNate.

Theywerecloseenoughtoalmosttouch,andClairefeltafaintrushunderherskin.
Don’tbestupid,shetoldherselfastheycrossedthelobby.Heworksforyourfather,andbesides,

you’renevergoingtoseehimagain.

Shefidgetedinplaceastheywerewaitingforanelevator,andshecouldn’thelpglancingathim

fromthecornerofhereye.Hewaswatchingher.

“What?”
“Nothing,just…”Heshookhishead,andbeforehecouldsayanythingelse,theelevatorarrived

withasoftping.

Itwasempty.Clairebreathedoutinrelief.ShecouldfeelNate’seyesonherasshewalkedin,and

assheturnedtosaygoodbye,shewishedshecouldsomehowprolongtheirmoment,butnothingcameto
mind.

Thenhefollowedherin.
Claireraisedhereyebrows,butbeforeshecouldsayanything,Natetiltedhisheadandlookedather

withnewintensity.

“Shawnwilltakeoveryourfather’scaseaftertonight,”hesaidoutoftheblue.“Itdoesn’tchange

anythingregardingyourparticipationinthecampaign,Ijustwantedyoutoknow.”

“Okay?”Shewasn’tsurewhyhewastellingherthis.Whywouldshebeinterestedinwhohada

leadonthecase?

“Iwantedtocleartheairbeforeaskingyou.Wouldyougoouttodinnerwithme?”

CHAPTERFOUR

Okay,somaybethatwasn’tthesmoothestNatehadeverbeen.Buttherewassomethinghere,

somethingthatmadeitimpossibleforhimtojustletClairewalkoutofhislifewithouteventryingtostop
her.

Maybeitwasthefireinhereyes,orthechallengingattitude,ormaybesomethingelsehecouldn’t

quitedefine,butthepullwasstrongenoughtomakehimwalkoutofthemeetingwiththemayorwithouta
backwardsglance.

Natecouldhardlyrememberthemayoratthispoint.
“Todinner?”Claire’seyesnarrowedslightly.“Why?”
Natesmiledatthat.Thatwasaneasyquestiontoanswer.“BecauseIwouldliketogettoknowyou.

Ipromiseithasnothingtodowithyourfatherorthecase,oranythingthat’snotaboutyou.”

“It’shardtoimaginesinceyou’reworkingformyfather.”Shelookedawayastheelevatordoor

opened,andshesteppedoutintothelobby.

Natefollowedherandshepaused,turningtohim.Luckily,thereweren’tmanypeoplearound,and

nobodywaspayingthemanyattention.

“Itoldyou,Shawnwilltakeoverthecase,andthentherewon’tbeanyconflictofinterest.”
“Yes,becauseI’msureyou’renotgoingtotalktoyourpartneratall.”Hertonemadeherdoubt

clear,butNatestillhadn’thearda‘no’,sohekepttrying.

“I’mnotgoingtotalktohimaboutyou,”hesaid.“I’maskingyououtonadate,notforaninterview

onacaseI’mnotevengoingtobeworkingon.”

Clairecrossedherarmsagainstherchestandgavehimasearchinglook.Natetriedtolookas

sincereaspossibleandstayedsilent.Theballwasinhercourtnow,andifshesaidno…Well,thenthis
wouldbeit.

Hetriedtosquashthesourtasteofdisappointmentatthemerethought.
Finally,afterwhatseemedlikeanhour,shegavehimasharpnod.“Okay.Dinnersoundsgood.But

ifyoustartaskingmeaboutmyfather—“

“Iwon’t.”Natecouldfeelhisgrinspreadingonhisfaceastherushofadrenalinecameoverhim.

Shesaidyes.

Heransweringsmilewasmorehesitant,andhecouldtellshehadn’tlostthesuspicioncompletely,

butitstillfeltlikeavictory.Giventime,hewasgoingtoshowherhewassincere.Hejustneededa
chance.

“HowaboutthisWednesday,then?”Natewouldgladlygotothatdinnerrightnow,butheknew

betterthantosuggestthat.Therewasalinebetweenbeingeagerandbeingoverenthusiasticandpushy.
Besides,hewasstillatwork,technically.Therewasameetinghappeningupstairsthatheshouldgetback
to.

Hersmileturnedsofter.“Wednesday’sfine.”
Natetookouthisphoneandputinhernumberbeforewavingahandbackattheelevator.“Ihaveto

gobacktotheofficenow.”

Clairedroppedherarmstohersidesandtookastepback.“Ofcourse.Ihavetogo,too.”
“I’llcallyoutomorrowaboutthedinner,okay?”
“Sure,”shesaid,takinganotherstepback,andthensheturnedtotheexit.“Bye!”
Herespondedinkindandwatchedhergo,notreadytogobacktohisofficejustyet.Shecrossedthe

foyerquicklyandconfidently,onlyglancingbackonceshewasatthedoor.AndNate…Natecouldn’t
waitforWednesday.

Fornow,hesteppedintotheelevatorandpushedthebuttonfortheseventhfloor.Heglanceddown

atthephonestillinhishand,withanewcontactsaved.Hehitatexticon.

I’mlookingforwardtoourdinner.Nate
Hehesitatedbeforehittingsend,buttheelevatorpinged,andthedooropenedonhisfloor.Hedidn’t

havetimetosecond-guessrightnow.Hesentthetextandputhisphonebackinhispocket.

Timetogethisheadbackinthegame.

CHAPTERFIVE

“Yousaidyes!”LorisatbackinherchairinthebreakroomandstaredatClaireindisbelief.“I

can’tbelievethis.”

“StopitorI’llchangemymind.”Clairehadgonebackandforthaboutitsincelastnight.Itwouldn’t

takemuchtotalkherselfoutofthiscompletely.

Lorinudgedherwithherfootunderthetable.“Hey,it’sgood.I’mhappyforyou,justsurprised.”
Clairenoddedatthat.Shesurprisedherselfaswell.She’dmetmanyhotguys,oneswithakiller

smile,andnumeroustall,dark,andhandsometypes.Andalmosteverytimethey’daskedherout,she’d
saidno.Hell,she’dbeenreadytowalkawayfromNate,too.

Shedidn’tknowwhatpushedherovertheedge,butshehadtoadmit—ifonlytoherself—thatthe

rushshe’dfeltbeingclosetohim,andthehotsurgeofwantwhenhe’daskedherout,wassomethingthat
hadn’thappenedtoherinwaytoolong.Shehadn’tevenrealizedshe’dmissedituntilithappened.Ithad
seemedstupidtosaynoafterthat,evenifherbrainresistedforawhilelonger.

NateUrbanwasn’tasmartchoice,thatwasforsure.Afixer,tooclosetoherfatherandhispolitical

campaign,toohandsomeandprobablyawareofitenoughtobeaccustomedtogettinghisway…Butstill,
shewantedtotry.

“Onedate,”shetoldLori,gettingupfromherseattopourherselfmorecoffee.“Thenwe’llsee.”
Herpartnersmirkedandraisedhercup.“Oh,I’mdefinitelylookingforwardtothat.”
Claireshookherhead,butbeforeshecouldsayanything,PortmanandChavezcamein,heading

straightforthecoffeemaker.

“Howarethings,Dowson?”Portmanaskedasherefilledhismug.“Whatareyouplanningtodo

onceyourdaddygoestoD.C.?”

Clairenarrowedhereyes.“Idon’tknow,Portman.MaybeI’llcomecryingonyourshoulder.You

know,thewayIalwaysdowheneverIbreakafingernail.”ShemovedtoleaveandcouldhearLori
gettingupandfollowingherout.

CursingbothPortmanandherfatheronherwaybacktothedesk,Clairepulledoutafoldershewas

keepinginhertopdrawerassoonasshesatdown.Sheopeneditandlookedoverthefilledform,onethat
hadbeentauntingherfordaysnowtofinallytaketheplunge.

Shestaredatthetitle.
TransferRequestForm.
Maybenowwastherighttimeafterall.

***

ShespenttheentireWednesdayhopingnothingwouldblowupduringtheday,sincesheneededto

finishworkontimetogethomeandchange.Whenshe’dtalkedwithNateonTuesday,hewastight-lipped
aboutwheretheyweregoing,buthe’dinsistedonpickingherup,soatleastshewouldsavesometime
there.

Still,sheneededthedaytopasswithoutanincident.Nice,quietdayoffillingthepaperworkonthe

recentlyclosedcases.

Luckily,shegotherwish,andafewminutesbeforesix,LorialmostshovedClaireoutofherchair.
“Goalready!I’llfinishthereport.Yougoandhavefun.”
Claireraisedhereyebrowsbutthengatheredupherthingsquickly.“Ineedtodatemore,ifthat’san

incentiveforyoutodothepaperworkforme.”

“Ha,ha,don’tgetusedtoit.I’mjustofferingbecauseitseemsalmostlikeaonce-in-a-lifetime

opportunity.”

Clairesnorted.“Exaggeratemuch?”
“Fine.”Lorishrugged.“Once-every-six-months.Better?”
“Closertothetruth,atleast.”Clairewaved.“Havefun.”
Lorigaveherapointedlookandalopsidedsmile.“You,too.”
Claire'sjourneyhomeseemedendlesslylong,asifbetweenthismorningandnowhertrainchanged

theroutetoincludeadetourthroughhalfofQueens.Shecouldn'tconcentrateonthebookshewasreading
orsettleononesongonherphone.AllshecouldthinkaboutwasherdinnerwithNate.Wouldtheyeven
havethingstotalkabout?She'dsatthroughquiteafewterriblefirstdates,andshedidnotwantanother
one.Shepromisedherselfthatifheevenstartedonhismoneyorinfluence,shewasgoingtostandupand
leaveonthespot.Shewasn’tgoingtowastehertimeonbeingoverlypleasant.

Buteventhoughapartofherexpectedadisaster,therewasalsoapartofherthat...didn't.Apart

thatwantedittowork,wantedNatetoliveuptothecharmthatwasthereinthecornersofhislipsashe
smiled,inthecrinklesbyhiseyes,andinthelinesofhiswideshoulders.Thesamepartthatsaidyesto
theinvitationwasnowanxiouslyhopinghewasgoingtobetheinteresting,challengingmanshethoughthe
mightbe,notapompousprickwhowantedtouseherforhis—orherfather’s—agenda.

You’lljusthavetowaitandsee,shetoldherselfforaboutthehundredthtimeasshefinallygotto

herapartmentandhoppedintheshowerthathelpedherrelaxabit.Whenshegotout,sherealizedshe
wassmilingatherreflectioninthemirrorabovethesink,whichhadn'thappenedinquiteawhile.Atleast
notthiskindofsmile.

"Getagrip,”shemutteredasshetoweledoffquickly.Shewasnotafifteen-year-oldwaitingonher

firstdate.Shewasagrownwomanwhosewholeworlddefinitelydidnotdependonaguy'sapproval.

Sheputonherfavoritegrayblouseandblackskirt,andranherhandsoverherhipsasshepaused

beforethebigmirrornexttohercloset.Ithadbeenagessinceherlastdate,thatwastrue,butshecouldn’t
recallbeingsonervousbackthen.She’dthoughtshewastoooldforthebutterfliesinherstomach,but
apparentlyshewaswrong.

Sheglancedattheclock.Shestillhadtwentyminutesleft,enoughforsomequickmakeup.
Andenoughforherimaginationtorunawayfromher,asitturnedout.Shepicturedeverythingfrom

anelegantrestauranttoadinneronayacht,somethingLorihadsuggestedearlierthatmadethemboth
laugh.

HerphonerangjustasClairefinishedputtingherlipstickon.
"Noworkemergency,noworkemergency,"shemutteredasshewenttograbitfromthekitchenette

counter,relaxingonceshesawNate’snameonthescreen.

"Hello?"
"Hi,it'sNate.I'mdownstairs."
Clairelookedaroundtheplaceandwinced.Shedidnothavetimetocleanitup."I'lljustgrabmy

thingsandseeyouinasecond."

"Okay."
Onelastlookinthemirrorbythedoor,andshewasasreadyasshewasgoingtobe.
Onherwaydown,shestruggledbetweentheexcitementrisinginherchestandthenervesthatmade

herclutchherjacketsleevesbeforesheforcedherselftorelaxhergrip.

Andthenshesawhimthroughthewindownearthedoor.Natewasleaningagainstthecarrightin

frontofherbuilding,facingtheentrance.Hewasinanicesuit,justlikeonMonday,buttherewas
something...lessformalabouthimnow.Hehadnotie,thetopofhisshirtwasopen,andhewassmilingat
somethinghewaslookingattohisleft.Clairepausedforamomentjusttowatch,becauseshewouldn't
gettoopenlystareathimduringtheevening.And,yes,okay,therewasalottostareat.

Shefinallypushedthedooropen,andwhenshesteppedout,Nateimmediatelyturnedhisgazeto

her.Hegrinned,straighteningupandmovingcloserwithouttakinghiseyesoffofher.Somethinginhis

expressionmadeherstomachtightenasthewaveofheatrolledthroughher.

"Hi,"Clairesaidwhentheypausedastepawayfromeachother.Hisgrinturnedintoasoftsmile

andshehadtoresistbrushingherfingersoverthecrinklesbyhiseyes.

Overhiswholebody,really.
"Hi.Youlookamazing."
"Thankyou.Youlook…niceaswell.”Hot.Helookedhotandtempting.Dangerous,inaway,ifher

rapidlyquickeningheartbeatwasanythingtogoby.

"Shallwe?"Hegesturedbehindhimtohiscar.Athernod,heledhertothepassengerdoor,but

beforeshegotin,sheglancedtotheside,wantingtoseewhatNatewassmilingatearlier.Therewere
twogirlsplayingwithapuppyinfrontofthepharmacynextdoor,probablywaitingforwhomeverwas
inside.

Nowonderhe’dbeensmilingearlier.Shedoubtedanyonewouldresistasightlikethat.
"TheywerearguingbeforeyoucameoutaboutwhetherornotitwasokaytotossaballtoSylvester

onthesidewalk,"Natetoldher,turningtolookatthegirlsagain."Thentheolderremindedtheyounger
thattheywerealreadyintroubleforbreakingonewindowanddidn'tneedanothertakenoutoftheir
allowance."

Hisarmwaslessthananinchfromhers,andtheirshouldersbrushedasheglancedather.Thebrief

touchsentthesparksrunningrightunderherskin.

"Noonelikestohavetheirallowancecut,"sheblurtedoutandwincedinternally.Seriously?
"True,”hesaidafterachuckleandthennoddedatthepassengerseat."Shallwe?"
ThistimeClaireslidinrightaway.Shewatchedashecircledthecarandgotintothedriver'sseat.
"Nodriver?"sheaskedbeforeshecouldstopherself.Shehadpicturedhimtryingtoimpressher

withhismoney.Which,judgingfromtheFYUreputationandthefactthattheofficewassituated
Downtown,hehadtohavealotof.

Nateglancedatherwithraisedeyebrowsbeforehestartedthecar."Idon'thaveadriverfor

personaluse.Iprefertoeitherdrivemyselforwalk."

"Youwalk."Itwasn'taquestion,buttherewasnoconfusingherdisbelievingtone.
"Yes,Iwalk.I’msureyouknowthecarcanbetheworstwaytomovearoundthecity,especially

Manhattan."Heglancedather."DidyouthinkIgetdrivenaroundinalimousineorsomething?"

"Notalimousine,no.Butsomething,yes,"sheadmitted."Idon'trememberevermeetingahot-shot

businessmanwhowasn'tbeingdrivenaround."

"Well,then."Natepausedatthelightsandturnedtogrinatherwiththatcharmingsmileofhis."I

guessyou'reinforasurprise."

Shecouldn'thelpsmilingback."IguessIam."
"Luckyme."
Clairelookedawaytotheside,watchingthestreetspassby.Shetriedtohidehergrin.Perhapsthey

werebothlucky.

CHAPTERSIX

Astheeveningprogressed,Natefoundhimselfrelaxingmoreandmore.Beforethedate,he’d

worriedthatClairewouldbesuspiciousabouthisintentionstheentiretime.Somethingseemedtoclick
whentheymetoutsideherplace,though,andafterthattheeveningwasgoingsmootherthanmostofthe
firstdatesNatehadeverbeenon.

Hewastellingastoryofthefirstdayincollegewithhisbrandnewroommate,Shawn,whenshe

burstoutlaughingforthefirsttime.Ohman,hethoughtashestaredather,bright-eyedandglowingwith
amusement,I’mintrouble.

"Sothat'showyoumetShawn?"sheaskedasshestoppedlaughing."Andyoudecidedtokeephim

afterthat?"

Natesmiled."MorelikeIgotstuckwithhimafterthat."
"Whataboutthethirdpartnerinyourfirm,then?Howdidyoumeethim?"Sheraisedoneeyebrow.

“Atafratparty?”

"Oh,no,wedidn’tmeetDeanuntilthefirstdayoflawschool.He'djustgottenoutoftheArmy,so

hewasusedtodumbguys,orsohetellsus.ShawnandI,weinsistitwasmoreloveatfirstsight."Nate
chuckled."Wecouldn'tresistthesilentguyinthebackoftheroomwhodidn'ttrytoimpressanybody
whileeveryonewastryingsohard.We'vebeenbestfriendseversince."

Clairenodded.“Mypartnerismybestfriend,too.It’sgreattoworkwithsomeoneyoutrustso

much.”

"Ohyeah.Iwouldn’ttradeitforanything,"Natesaid."Speakingofyourpartner,whendidyou

decideyou’regoingtobeacop?"

"Ialwayswantedtobeadetective,"shetoldhimwithacrookedsmile."Mymaternalgrandparents

werebothintheforce,andmymotherwouldprobablyhavegonein,too,ifshehadn’tmetmyfather.
EverysummerIspentwithmygrandparents,Iwouldlistentostoriesaboutthepolicethesamewayother
kidshearaboutknightsslayingdragons,I'msure.WhoelsewasIgoingtobe?"

"Iunderstand."Nateknewallaboutafamilydedicatedtoonethingandonethingonly.
"Lawyerfamily?"Claireaskedbeforetakingasipofherwine.
"No,amilitaryone."Heshookhishead."MysisterandIweretheonlyonesfromourgeneration

whodidn’tjoin.We’reprobablystillinthedoghouseforthat."Hewouldn’tknow.Ithadbeenawhile
sincehetalkedtohisparentsoranyotherfamilymemberwhowasn’thissister.

Hisfamilyhadturnedoutlessthanunderstandingforalternativeideas,andNatehadhadtofighthis

waythroughalotoffamilyfunctions.ThenSylviahadannouncedshehadnoplanstojointhemilitary,
either,andsincethen,ithadbeenthetwoofthemagainsttherest.Orrather,withouttherest.

"Andwhatdoesyourrebelsisterdo?"
Natepushedhisextendedfamilyoutofhismind,andfocusedonhisbabysister."Sheusedtobeour

officemanager,butnowshe'stravelingallovertheworldwithherboyfriend.He'sanactor,sohe'saway
fromhomealot,andsinceshecanworkfromwherever—shehasablogandavlog,andsomethingelse,
I’mnotreallysure—shetravelswithhim."

"Nice."
Itwasnice,buthehadtoadmit,hemissedhavingSylviaclose."I'msureshe'lldraghimtoNew

Yorkthefirstchanceshegets.She'scrazyaboutBroadway,andsheneedsherfix."

"Seriousaddiction,huh?"Claireaskedwithasmile.
"Veryserious.BeforeGreg,therewasnothingthatwoulddragheraway."
Hereyesseemedtobrighteninthedimlightovertheirtable."AreyouaBroadwayfan?"
"Notreally,no.Imean,I'veseenafewshows,andthey'vebeengood,butIjust...Iusuallycan'tget

intothestorythesamewayIdowhenI'mwatchingamovie."Heshrugged."Andyou?"

"NowIfeellikeI'mabouttoloseallmyNewYorkerpoints,butI'vebeentoaBroadwayshow

exactlyonce."

Natefeignedterror."Youcannevertellmysisterthat,oryouwilllosethosepoints.Andyour

driver’slicense,probably."

"Shewouldstealadriver’slicenseofanarmedpolicedetective?"
"Itoldyou,she'sveryseriousaboutBroadway."
Clairelaughedatthat,andthistimeitfeltlikeakickinthegutforNate.He’dthoughtshewas

beautifulfromthefirstmomenthe’dseenher,butnow,thatloose,openlaughtermadehersomehoweven
moreappealing.He’dlikedherfocused,confident,andmorethanwillingtostandupforherselfbackat
theoffice,butthemorehegottoknowher,themoreinterestedineveryothersideofherhebecame.

Hewantedher,ofcourse—hewantedtoknowhowitwouldbetokissher,topullheragainsthis

bodyandseehereyesdarkeningwithdesire.Hewantedtoknowwhatshewaslikeinbed,whatshe
enjoyedwhensheletherselfgo.

Butitwasn’tjustaboutsex,either.Hewascuriousaboutherworkstories,themusicshelistenedto,

howshetookhercoffee,andifshewasawafflesorpancakeskindofawoman,and...Andvariousother
thingsthatprobablymeanthewasgettingway,wayaheadofhimself.

"Isthereanythingyou'reequallyasseriousaboutassheisaboutBroadway?"Claireasked,the

laughterstillthere,visibleintherelaxedlinesofherface.

Natetookasipofhiswatertoregainhisbalancebeforethinkingoftheanswer.
"Well,that'sputtingthebarreallyhigh...Let'ssee.I'mprettyseriousabouttheMets,Ialwaysloved

solvingproblems,althoughImovedfrommathtopeoplewhenIwasincollege,andIcanargueaboutany
topicknowntoman.Butthat'smoreofatalentthanapassion,really.Unlessit'sanargumentaboutthe
Mets."

"It’saprettyusefultalentinyourlineofwork,Ibet,"shesaid,butthecornersofhermouthliftedas

shedidso."I’vebeenknowntoargueaboutanythingI'mpassionateabout,too."

"Likejustice?"heaskedbeforehecouldstophimself,andtherewasabitofsilencebeforeshe

chuckled.Nategrinned,relieved.

"Yes,actually,justice,"shesaid,raisinghereyebrows,asifchallenginghimtocomment.
Hedidn'tpresshisluck,though."Anythingelse?"
"Ispendmostofmytimeatwork,soIdon'thavemuchtimeforit,butIdoenjoyart."
"Admiringorcreating?"
"IwishIcouldcreate,butallmyfailedattemptstellmeotherwise.Sono,it'smostlyadmiring."She

tiltedherheadtotheside."Oh,andaikido.I'mpassionateaboutthat.I'vebeentrainingsinceIwasakid."

"Wow,that'simpressive."Nateadmiredanyonewhostuckwithpracticingsomethingforthatlong.

Fouryearswithhisguitarwasthelongesthe’devergotten,butthatwasalongtimeago.

"It'sliketheoldesthabitIhave,"Clairesaid,tuckingtheloosestrandsofherhairbehindherear."I

don'teventhinkaboutthisasanoption,somethingIcouldgiveup.It'stherewithmeforever.Imayskip
practicefromtimetotimebecauseofworkorvacation,butIalwayscomebacktoit."

"Doyouteachaswell?"Hetriedtoimagineherinfrontofaclass,anditcamesurprisinglyeasy.
"Beginnergroups,yes.Ican'tcommittoaregularschedulesincesomethingcanalwayshappenat

work,butI'mtheco-trainerorastand-inwhensomeonecan'tmakeittoclass."

Natenodded,sippinghiswater.Themorehelearnedabouther,themorehestillwantedtoknow.

Heopenedhismouthtoaskanotherquestion,butshebeathimtoit.

"Andwhataboutyou,doyoupracticeanysport?"
"I'muselessatmostsports,sadly."Heshookhishead.
"Youhavetodosomethingforthis,"shesaid,circlingwithherforkinhisdirection,buthedidn'tget

shemeanthisbodyuntilshestoppedandblushed.

"Well,Ido,butIdon'tcountgymasasport."Heshrugged,tryingnottostareatherflushedskin."I

sparwithDeanonoccasion.Iplaybasketballfromtimetotime,andI'mnotterribleatit,butIcanadmitI
doitmoreforthecompanythanthesport."

Theykepttalking,conversationflowingfromonetopictothenext—interests,jobs,friends.Theonly

thingtheyhadn’ttouchedonatallwasClaire’sfatherand,tobesafe,Nateavoidedanyquestionsabout
herfamily.Itborderedonuncomfortableafewtimes,thesidesteppingobviouslyunnatural,buthestill
preferreditmuchmorethanthealternative—herwalkingoutonhimifshethoughthehadanagenda.

AndsincehefoundhimselfentrancedbyClaire,thelastthinghewantedwastowatchherleave.
Afterthedinner,astheywerewalkingoutoftherestaurant,heputahandonthesmallofherback,

andshedidn'tprotest.Itcouldhavebeenwishfulthinkingonhispart,butsheseemedtoevenleanlightly
intohistouchwhentheywereoutsideandheadingtothecar.

Onthewaybacktoherplace,theymadesmalltalkabouttheirfavoriteplacesinthecityand

bickeredoverthebestpizza.Hesmiledtohimself,andhissmileonlygrewwhenhenoticedClaire
fightingasmileaswell.

Whenheparkedoutsideherplace,hegotoutandcircledthecar,butshe'dalreadygottenoutand

shutthepassengerdoorbehindher.Whensheturned,theyweresuddenlyveryclose,andNate'sbody
respondedimmediately.Hisgazedroppedtoherlipsbeforehelookedupagaintoseehereyessparkling
inthebrightneonlightsandstreetlamps.Heliftedhishandslowlyandbrushedalockofhairawayfrom
herface,givingherallthetimeintheworldtobackout.

Shedidn't.
Nateranhisfingerslightlyoverhercheekandjaw,feelinghersmallshiversagainsthisfingertips.

Claire'seyelidsclosedforasecond,butamomentlater,whenherestedhishandonthesideofherneck,
shewasonceagainlookingstraightathim.

Heleanedcloserandkissedher—softlyatfirst,thenmoreinsistentashefeltherkissingback,

openinghermouthandwelcominghimin.Heusedhisotherhandtopullhercloser,armsneakingaround
herwaist,andsheleanedintohim,herarmswindingaroundhisneck.Hecouldtastewineonhertongue,
theoneglassshedrankoverdinner,buttherewassomethingheadierthanthealcohol,somethingNate
wantedtogetmoreofashechasedhertaste.

Theywerekissinginthemiddleofthestreet,andhecouldn'tcareless.Hewasinstantlyaddictedto

thewaysherespondedtohim.Sheansweredhiskisswithhungermatchinghisown,andsheusedher
handsonthebackofhisnecktopullhimcloserjustashedidthesamewiththearmaroundherwaist.He
reveledineverylittlesharpintakeofbreath,everyshiverhecouldfeelunderhistouch.Whenhecaught
herlowerlipbetweenhisteeth,shemoanedquietly,andhemaneuveredhertoleanagainstthesideofhis
car.

Theyhadtobreakapartthen,justforamoment,butitwasenoughforhertolowerherhandstohis

chestandpushhimback.Nateretreatedhalfastep.

"Somethingwrong?"heaskedinalowvoice.
Claireloweredhergazetohislipsforamomentbeforesheblinkedandlookedupagain.
"Nothing'swrong.Butwe’reinthemiddleofthestreet,"shepointedoutwithanodatsomething

behindNate.

Heglancedoverhisshouldertoseeagroupofteenagersinfrontofthecaféturningawayquickly

andlaughing.Nateshrugged.

"Idon’treallycare.Doyou?”heasked,stillnotwillingtolethergocompletely.
Clairetiltedherheadtothesideasshewatchedhimforafewseconds."Doyouwanttocomeup?"
Heinvoluntarilytightenedhisgriponherbody,areflexresponsetothethoughtofwhatthe

invitationmightmean.Herelaxedhisfingers,noddingatthesametime.Whateverwasonoffer,hewanted
totakeit.

"Ido,"hesaid,justincase,reachinguptorunhisthumboverthelineofherneck.Hewantedto

followthatwithhismouth,wantedtogolowerandcontinuedownherbody,exploring—

Shecurledherfingersoverhischest."Let'sgo,then."

CHAPTERSEVEN

Clairedidn'tgiveherselftimeforsecond-guessing.Theypausedafewtimestokissontheirwayup

toherfloor,andneitherofthemseemedwillingtostoptouchingeachother.Theanticipationkeptgrowing
insideher,theheatinsideherstomachspreadingalloverher.Shehadneverhadsexonthefirstdate,but
Natejust...Hejustpushedsomanyofherbuttonsthatshedidn'twanttolethimgotonightwithjustafew
kisses,nomatterhowgreattheywere.

Whenshelethimgotopullthekeysout,hemovedrightbehindherandnuzzledthebackofherneck

aftermovingherhairtotheside.Sheshiveredwhenhegrazedherskinwithhisteeth—notbiting,just...
lettingherknowhemight.

Clairetightenedhergriponherkeys,apinchofpainhelpingherregainenoughbrainpowerto

actuallygetthemintothelock.Afewsecondslater,sheopenedthedoorandpulledthembothinside.

Nateturnedthemaroundandpushedheragainstthedoortheseconditclosed.Hiskisswasharder

now,moredemanding.Shepushedherhipsclosertohim,buthepushedherbackwithhishandsonher
waist.Awaveofheatwentthroughher,andshegaspedintohismouth.

Sheusuallydidn'tliketobepassiveinanything,includingsex,butwithNate,rightnow,it

somehow...didn'tmatter.Ifhewantedhernottomove,shewouldstaywhereshewas.

Fornow.
Whenhekissedherneck,Claireclaspedherhandsoverthebackofhishead.Shewantedtoarch

herbodyintohisagain,togetcloser,buthishandswerestillonherwaist,stillkeepingherback.

Clairepulledhisheadupinsteadtokisshimagain,andhemovedhishandshigher,tuggingher

blouseuptoexposeherstomach.Sheshiveredonceagainwhenshefelthishandsonhernakedskin.His
fingerswerestrokinghersides,andheloosenedhisgrip.Shearchedintohim,pullingthemcloseragain,
andshecouldfeelhiserectionbrushingagainsther.

"Bed,"shesaidwhentheybrokethekisstocatchtheirbreath."Let'sgotobed."
Natepulledback,andClairealmoststumbled,butsheregainedherbalanceandledhimtothe

bedroom.Oncetheywerethere,shereachedtotugherblouseoverherhead,buthishandsstoppedher.

"Letme,"hewhisperedfromrightbehindherandClairedroppedherhandstothesides,closingher

eyes.

Heputhishandsflatagainsthernakedbackanddraggedthemup,tuggingthematerialwithit.She

liftedherarmswhenhetoldherto,andamomentlater,herblousewasgone.Natekissedhershoulder
andthenleftalineofkissesleadingtothebackofherneckashishandsbrushedoverherback.

Clairerolledherhandsintofiststostopherselffromreachingout,butshetiltedherheadtotheside

togivehimbetteraccesstoherneck.Whenhebitherearlobe,sheletoutamoanandcouldn'tresist
anymore—sheturnedandkissedhimagain,lickingintohismouthastheheatspreadthroughherbody.She
reachedouttounbuttonhisshirt,whichwasn'teasysincehepulledherclosertohimastheykissed,
trappingherhandsbetweenthem.

Finally,shegothisshirtopened,butbeforeshecouldtrytogetitoffofhimcompletely,Natebacked

hertothebedandguidedhertoliedown.Hereachedbetweenherlegstorunhisfingersalongherinner
thighandslowlymovedthemupuntilhebrushedhisthumbovertheedgeofherpanties.Shebuckedher
hips.Fuck,shecouldn’trememberrespondingtoanyonethisfast,thisstrong.

Shewantedtofeelhimagainstherwithoutthebarriersoftheirclothes.Shewantedhisfingers,his

mouth,hiscock.Shewantedskinagainstskinandtheheatrisingbetweenthembeforetheexplosion.

Hepulledbacktopushherskirtandunderweardownandoff.Clairethoughthewouldundress

himselfnext,buthejustlookeddownonher—nakedbutforherbra—andthenkneeledbetweenherlegs
andleaneddowntokissherstomachfirstbeforemovinglower.

"You'resobeautiful,"hewhisperedbeforeheranthetipofhistongueoverhernavel,circledit

once,twice,thethirdtime.

Shesuckedherlowerlipintohermouthandbroughtherhandsuptoburyherfingersinhishair.

Natenippedtheskinofherlowerstomachwhenherthumbbrushedbehindhisear.

Claireinhaledsharplyashisstubblebrushedoverthesensitiveskinbelowherstomach.Shebucked

herhipsagain,hopinghe'dgetahint,andhechuckledbutmoveddownobligingly,pushingherlegsapart
andsituatinghimselfthere.

Natebrushedhisthumbupanddown,slippingbetweenherfoldsandrubbinggently,makingher

gasp.Thesensationwassomuchmoreintensenowwhentherewerenoclothesintheway.

"Comeon,"shetriedtourgehim,spreadingherlegswiderandpushingintohistouch,buthejust

lookedupatherwithawickedsmile.

"Patience,"hetoldherashecontinuedtorunhisthumbupanddown.Sheglanceduptohisfaceand

caughtherbreathasshesawhisheatedgazeandthesmirkstillthereinthecornersofhismouth,hishead
soclosetowhereshewantedhim.

Whenhisthumbslippedbetweenherfoldsagainandrubbedalittleharder,Clairemoaned.Yes.She

wantedhimtofuckher,butshewantedtocomelikethis,too.Shewouldn'tneedmuchmorethan—

Nate'stonguejoinedhisfingers,andshearchedherbackagainstthewaveofpleasure.Afterthefirst

lick,heseemedtoabandonhisslowandpatientroute,andwhenhesuckedonherclitafewmoments
later,pushingtwoofhisfingersintoheratthesametime,shecriedoutasasuddenorgasmcrashed
throughherbodywithoutmuchnotice.

Hekeptsuckinglightly,hisfingersslippinginandoutofherasshecamedownfromthehigh,her

thighstrembling.Shehadtopushhismouthawaywhenshebecameoversensitive,andheturnedhishead
slightlytosuckamarkintoherinnerthigh.Thenheleftatrailofkissesupherbody,makinghiswayback
tohernavelandthencontinuingtogoupbeforehecouldkisshermouthagain,andshetastedherselfon
hislips.

Hepulledback,andshewatchedhimundressquicklybetweenhalf-liddedeyes.Histonedbody

seemedatoddswithhimsayinghewasn’tintosports.Assheranhergazedownhischestandflat
stomach,shesuckedherlowerlipinasshenoticedhishardcock.Butbeforeshecouldmovetotouch
him,Natewasonceagainleaningoverher,thistimepressinghiswholebodyagainsthers.Hiserection
wasrubbingagainstherthigh,leavingtracesofwetonherskin.Shereacheddown,buthecaughther
wrist.

"Letme,"shewhispered,impatient,butheshookhishead.
Hepulledback."Idon'twanttocomeinyourhand."
"Getinme,then."Shetightenedhergriponthebackofhisneck."Thecondomsareinthere,"she

added,pointingatthenightstandwiththetiltofherhead.

Afewsecondslater,Natewassittingbackonhisheelswiththecondominhishandandstaringat

herbody.Shewantedtosquirmunderhisgaze,butshedidn't.Itjustmadeherhottertoseehimlook,to
seehispupilswidenandhistonguewettinghislips.

Then,betweenonemomentandthenext,hewasleaningoverheragain,lickingintohermouthina

demandingkiss.Shemoanedintoitasheenteredherinoneslowpush.

"Fuck,"hewhisperedintothesmallspacebetweenthem,andClairehadtoagree.
Natepulledbackalittletolookather,andthechangeofanglemadeherbreathhitch.Hehadto

noticeitonherface,becausehebracedhimselfonhisarmsandthenstartedtofuckherindeep,hard
thrusts,bendinghisheadtoleavethelineofkissesdownherneck.Sheranherhandsoverhisslickback
uptohisshoulders,pushinghernailsagainsthisskinandtryingtoholdbackhermoansasthepleasure
keptbuildingupinsideofheragain.

Thenheclosedhisteethovertheskinlowonherneckandthesudden,sharporgasmrushedthrough

her.Shearchedherbackattheintensityofitandtriedtocloseherlegs,buthewasthere,fuckingher

throughituntilhecameaswell.

IttookClaireafewminutestogetbacktoherself,andshecouldstillfeelherthighstrembleagainst

his.

She’dexpectedthesexwithNatewouldbegood.Shehadn'texpectedthat.
Hekissedthedampskinofherneckbeforehepulledawayslowly.Shewatchedhimdisposeofthe

condomandcrossedherlegs,tryingtofightthefeelingofmissinghiminsideher.

Whenhelaydownrightnexttoherandpulledherontohersidesotheycouldbefacetoface,itwas

hissmall,gentlesmilethatdidherin.Shebrushedherthumboverhislips,thenbreachedtherestofthe
distancebetweenthemandkissedNate,herfingerssplayedoutonthesideofhisneck.Itwasshortand
chaste,butitstillshooksomethinglooseinsideofher.

You'renotinlovewithhim,shetoldherselfasshepulledbackonlytoseehiseyelidsfluttering

closed.Noway.

Notyet,addedavoiceinthebackofherhead.

CHAPTEREIGHT

WowwasNate'sfirstthoughtwhenhegothisbrainback.Wow.
Thekisswaschaste,butitseemedjustright.Whentheypulledawayabit,hecouldn'thelpbutgrin

atherblissedoutexpression,thelinesofherfacerelaxedandthecornersofhereyescrinklingasshe
smiled.

Onceagain,hewasstruckbyhowbeautifulshewas.HeranhisfingersupanddownalongClaire’s

spineandfeltherrelaxintothemattressevenfurther.

"Idon'twanttogo,"hesaidquietly,andherbodyimmediatelytensedunderhistouch.Natecursed

himselfforbreakingthemoment.He’dthoughtshewasonherwaytosleep,andhewantedtosayit
beforeshedriftedoff."ButIwillifyouwantmeto,”headdedquickly.

Clairelookedathimforafewseconds."Idon't,"shefinallysaid.Thetiltofhervoicewasalittle

hesitant,notnecessarilysurprised,butclose.

Natesmiled,leaninginforanothershortkiss."I'mglad."
Shechuckled."Sopolite."
"Itry."
Theysettled—himonhisbackandClairealonghisside,withherheadonhisshoulder—andNate

closedhiseyesandrelaxed.

"Ihavetowarnyou,"shewhisperedamomentlater."Myalarmgoesoffatsix."
Nateswallowedbackagroan."That'sterrible,butI’lldeal."
It'sworthitwentunsaid,buthewasprettysureshehearditanyway.
Anadditionalcoffeeortwotomorrowwasnotabigpricetopayforthis,righthere.Heclosedhis

eyesagain,andafterafewminutesoflisteningtotheunfamiliarnoise—Claire'sloudrefrigeratorandall
thesoundscomingthroughthewindow—hedriftedofftosleep.

***

Sixinthemorningwas,indeed,hell,butNatemanagedtogetup,getdressed,andthenswallowa

cupoftoo-hotcoffeeashestoodatthecounterandstaredatthewall,hismindslowlygettingbackonline.
Heknewhewasdefinitelynotaprettypictureatthemoment,andheshouldbemakingmoreeffortinto
lookingpresentable,buthewasjustnotawakeenoughtocare.Much.

WithClairecurrentlyintheshower,hehadabitoftimetogethisbearings.Hepouredhercoffee,

refilledhisowncup,andcheckedthecalendarinhisphoneonauto-pilot.Hisfirstmeetingwasatnine
thirty,whichwasperfect.HehadtimetodropClaireoff,gethome,shower,change,andthengettothe
office.

Nateheardthewatershutoffandpocketedhisphone.Ashedranktherestofhiscoffee,hetooka

lookaround.Thekitchenettewasseparatedfromthelivingroomareabythelongislandwithtwobar
stoolsoneitherside.Therewasabigstereoinonecornerofthelivingroom,withatallstandforvinyl
recordsnexttoit.Thentherewasabookcase,asmallTVset,andabigcouchinfrontofthescreen.
Clotheswerethrownoverthevariouspiecesoffurniture,andNatehadtosmile.Theyhadthatin
common,butheguessedhewasmuchworse.Abouthalfofhiswardrobewasoutsideofhiscloset,andon
everylaundryday,hefeltlikeheunearthedhisapartmentonceagain.

Thebathroomdooropenedwithasqueak,andheturnedtoseeClaire.Herhairwasabitdarker

fromtheshower,butthethingthatdraggedNate'sattentionwastheexpanseofskinondisplay.Clairewas
shirtless,herblackbrainstarkcontrasttothepaleskinofherchestandshoulders.Natecouldn'tlook
away,andthewarmththatspreadthroughhimatthesightofamarkbelowherrightcollarbonehad
nothingtodowiththetoo-hotcoffeehewasjustdrinking.

"Hi,"hesaid,hoarsefrombothsleepandlow-levelarousaltheydidn'thavetimefor."There's

coffee."

Hewincedinternallyathowsmoothhewasn'tsoearlyinthemorning,butthewayherlipsquirked

upmighthavebeenworththeslightembarrassment.

"Thanks."
Shebrushedpasthimtogettohercoffee,andNatetightenedhisgriponhisownmug.Shewasso

close,barelyafewfeetaway,andhewantedtotouchher,tokissher,buthedidn'tknowwhatwas
allowedthismorning.

Hetookanothersipofcoffeeanddecidedtoriskit.Hereachedoutandbrushedhisfingersoverher

lowerbackwheretheconstellationoffrecklesseemedthemostdense.Natehopedthatonedayhe'dgetto
spendsometimelearningthepattern,especiallywhenClaireshudderedunderhisfingertips.Sensitive,
then.Good.

Sheturnedandclosedthedistancebetweenthembeforedroppingakissontohislips.
"Hitoyou,too,"shewhisperedafterpullingback.Hechuckledandclosedhisfingersoverherhip

tokeepherclose.Herraisedeyebrowjustfueledhimtomisbehave,butbeforehecoulddosomething,
anything—andhehadquiteafewideasontheready—sheglancedattheelectronictimerinherovenand
swore.

Asecondlater,shewashalf-waytoherbedroom,andNatewasleftaloneinthekitchen,pushing

awaythevisualofpushingherupontothecounterandrunninghisfingersandhismouthovertheedgesof
thatbra.

Maybesomeothertime.
HeputhisandClaire'scupsintothesinkandthendouble-checkedifhehadleftanythingaround.By

thetimeClairecameoutfromthebedroom,fullydressedandstrappingthegunholsteron,Natehad
reviewedafewofhisemailsandconsideredcoffeenumberthree.

"Icandropyouoffattheprecinct,"heofferedbeforeshecouldshowhimout."Evenwiththe

traffic,weshouldbetherefasterthanifyoutakethetrain."

Sheshookherhead."Don’tbother,I’mgonnabefine.”
"Botherwithwhat?Drivingyoutowork?Please,asifIwouldmind,”hetoldher."Igettospend

moretimewithyouandtestyourresilienceto70srock."

"Please."Clairesmirked."Thatmusicisapleasure,notatorturetechnique."
Natebeamedwithanod."Okay,sowe'vegotthatsettled,then.Comeon."
Clairenarrowedhereyesslightly,andwhensheopenedhermouth,Natewassurehewasgoingto

heararejection.

Thenherexpressionchangedandshenodded."Okay,let'sdothis."
Astheyleftthebuilding,Natenoticedthesamekidswalkingwiththeirdog.Thestreetwasmore

crowdedthanlastnight,withafewstandsthathadn’tbeenthereafterdarkandaslowstreamofpeople.It
wasn'tabusystreet,notliketheonesheknewfromManhattan,andheappreciatedaslowerpace.It
seemedlikeClaireandheweretheonlyoneswhowereinahurryastheyrushedtothecar.

Astheysettledintheirseats,heturnedtheradioon,butputthemusicatthelowvolume,sothey

couldtalk.

"Anyspecialplansfortheday?"heaskedafterbackingupfromhisspot.
Claireshookherhead."No,justplainoldinvestigativework.Nothingglamorous.You?”
“Meetingclientsmostoftheday,”hesaidbeforegivingheraone-sidedsmile.“I’mhopingfor

somethingglamorous,butnoplansforthat.”

“Isn’tfixingmostlyaboutshockandaweinthewayofdamagecontrol?”
Shedidn’tsoundscornful,exactly,butNatecouldtellshewasn’tabigfanofhiswork.He

wonderedifitwasmorebecausetheysometimescrossedpathswiththepoliceorbecauseofherfather

specifically,butitwasn’taconversationhewantedtohaverightnow.

“Notreally,no,”heansweredherquestioninstead.“It’smostlybehindthesceneskindofwork,

steeringtheconversationandredirectingfocus.Sometimes,sure,thereissomeshockandawe,butthat’s
justatactic,neverthewholeplan.”

Shenoddedbutdidn’tsayanything,andforawhile,theonlysoundinsidethecarwasthemusic

fromtheradio.ThenNategothonkedatafteraperfectlyfineturn,andthatgavethemasafetopictotalk
about.ClairehadalotofstoriesaboutNewYorkersdriving,andsomeofthemweresobizarre,Nate
laughed,shakinghishead.

Whentheconversationpausedoncemore,itwastocomfortablesilencethistime,andhefound

himselfglancingtowardClaireagainandagain,thinkinghowbesttoapproachthetopicofthenextdate.

Becausehedefinitelywantedtheretobeanextdate.
“What?”sheaskedaftercatchinghisgazeyetagain.Hecouldseeshewastryingtofightasmile.
“Wouldyouliketohavedinnerwithmeagain?”
Shesuckedinherlowerlipasifshewasthinkingitover,butNate'sgazewasdrawntotheglimpse

ofherteethworryingthesoftflesh.

Thistimethehonkingwasdefinitelyjustified.
"It'sayesifyougetmetotheprecinctontimeandinonepiece."Clairegavehimapointedlook.

"ButI'mprobablygoingtoworklatethisweek."

Hecoulddealwithlonghours;itwasn'tlikehisjobwasaregularninetofive.Hejustwantedto

seeheragainsoon,andsincetheywerealmostatherprecinct,hedidn'thavemuchtimeleft."Howabout
afterworkdrinkstomorrow?Oranotherlatedinner?"

"Drinksarefine,butI’llprobablygrabsomethingearliertoeat."
Natenodded."Okay,I’llcallyoutonightandwe'llsetitup."Hecouldn'thelpgrinningather."I'm

lookingforwardtoit."

Shetiltedherheaddown,buthecaughtthesightofthesmallsmile.Thenheturnedontothestreet

whereherprecinctwassituated,andshestraightenedinherseat.Thechangewassubtle,butitwasstill
there—shewastheNYPDdetectiveClaireDowsonnow.Thesoftedgesonherfacedisappeared,
switchingfrompersonaltoprofessionallook.

Still,asheparkedasclosetotheprecinctashecould,afewbuildingsdownthestreet,hedidn’t

wanttheirtimetoendjustyet.Heturnedtoherandleanedinslowly,givinghertimetobackoff.She
didn't.Shetiltedherheadandleanedcloseraswell.Theirkisswassoftandunhurried,withneitherof
themtryingtospeedthingsup.ItwasalsofairlychastebutstillmanagedtoshakeNateupwithhow
familiaritfelt.Itwasn'ta'bye,thanksforthegreatsex'kiss,butrather'bye,honey,seeyousoon'kindofa
kiss.Andthatwasnotwhathe'dexpected,atall.

Whentheyparted,theairseemedtobehummingwithsomething,andNatewantedtoleancloser

again,butClairesuckedonesideofherlowerlipintohermouthandsatback.

"Ihavetogo,"shesaidquietly,closingherfingersoverthehandlesofherbag.
Hemanagedtonodandthenwatchedhergetoutandwalktowardstheprecinctwithaquickand

confidentpace,whichwasn'tsoeasywhensomeonewasnavigatingbusystreetsofNewYorkCity.
Finally,shedisappearedinthecrowd,andNatesatupinhisseatandturnedtheengineonagain.

HeneededtogettoworkandtrynottoobsessoverClaire.
Easiersaidthandone,hethoughtashejoinedthetrafficline.Easiersaidthandone.

CHAPTERNINE

ClaireandLoricaughtoneofthosecasesthatreallymessedwithone’sheadrightbeforenoon,so

herhappybubbleonlylastedafewhours.Thankfully,afterstayinglateonThursdayandpushingthrough
thewitnesslisthardonFriday,theysomehow,miraculously,managedtogetapracticallybullet-proof
case,andtheassholetheyarrestedshouldendupwithmultiplelifesentencesoncetheprosecutiondid
theirjobs.

SuccesslikethatmeantClaireandLoricelebratedwithasliceofpizzafromastreetcornernear

theirprecinct,thetraditionthathaddatedbacktotheirearlydaysonthejob.

"So."Lorileanedagainsthercar."Ahotdatetonight?"
Clairetriedtocatchastringofcheesefallingfromherslice,soshejustshrugged.
Loriwasn'teasilydeterred."Shrugmeans'Idon'tknow'or'notsureifhot'?"
Definitelyhot,Clairethought,rememberingWednesdaynight.Sheshovedpizzaintohermouthto

buyherselftimeandcomeupwithananswerthatwouldn'tbeembarrassing.Becausethatwaswhather
lifehadbecomenow,apparently.Onehotlawyer-turned-fixer,andshewasgiddylikealove-sick
teenagerwheneverherphonepingedwithatextmessage.

Luckily,Natemostlytextedherintheevenings,andLorihadn'twitnessedanythingembarrassing.

Yet.

"We'remeetingfordrinkslater,yes,"Clairefinallysaidwhenshe’dswallowedmostofherpizza.
"Youlikehim,then."
Therewasnoreasontodenyit,Clairesupposed.Shenodded.
"Good.Youdeserveaniceguyforachange.”
Clairelookeddownattheremainsofhersliceandshruggedagain.Shestilltriednottogether

hopesup,evenifshewasfailingatthatprettyspectacularly."Hewasniceonandafterthefirstdate.Too
littledatatosayanythingmore.”

Lorisnorted,rollinghereyes."Please.Howmanyguysdidyoucrossoutduringthefirstdate?We

alldoit.Firstdatesabsolutelycount."Shesmirked."Andiftheyendwithsex,theycountasadouble."

"Yourmathisskewed,"Clairetoldherandcheckedthetime."AndIhavetogo.Seeyouon

Monday."

"Hopefullynotbeforethat.Havefun!"
Claireturnedandheadedtothenearestsubwaystation.Shehadjustenoughtimetoshowerand

changebeforemeetingNateatLightsUp.Heofferedherthechoiceofaplace,andsheimmediately
decidedonherfavoritebarinthewholecity.Thefactthatitwasonlythreeblocksfromherapartment
wasjustanadditionaladvantagethatmightormightnotturnouttobeusefultonight.

Shehidhersmileinthecollarofhercoatasshetooktheemptyseatonthetrain.Shecouldn'twait

tomeetNateagain,andifshehopedforarepeatperformanceofWednesdaynight,thenwell.Noone
couldblameherforthat.

***

Natepickedthemomentshewasopeningthedoortostickhishandsunderherblouseandrunhis

fingersovertheskinofherstomach.Claireshiveredandlostherbalanceasshepushedthedooropenat
thesametime,andtheystumbledintoherapartment.

SherecoveredeasilyandturnedtoNate,whopulledhercloseandleanedinforahardandhungry

kissthatmadeherstomachtighteninanticipation.Shelickedintohismouthasshethrewherhandsover
hisnecktorunherfingersthroughhishair,longenoughtopullatthemlightly.Shelovedthelittlehitchof
hisbreatheverytimeshedidit.

Natepushedhishandsupoverthenakedskinofherback,unhookingherbrawithease.Hebackeda

stepandundressedherfromthewaistupsohecouldbrushhisthumbsoverhernipples.Clairearchedher
bodyintohistouchasthepleasurerandownherspine.Shewantedtopushhisheaddownsohewould
suckonthehardnubs,butintheend,shepulledback.Shewantedsomethingelseevenmore.

"Wait,”shesaidwhenhewasloweringhishead,asifreadingherearlierplans."Fuckmefirst."
Hedidnothavetobetoldtwice,apparently.Shewascompletelynakedbythetimetheygottothe

bedroom,andhepushedherdownontothebedbeforeshakinghisownclothesoffquickly.

IfClairewouldevernotreacttowatchinghimstrip,itwouldprobablymeanshewasdead.She

hopedshewouldgettoundresshimoneday,piecebypiece,andexplorehisbodywithherhandsand
lips.Oneday.

Natecoveredherbodywithhisinthenextsecond,andeverythoughtlefther,leavingbehindonly

yesandpleaseandmore.Shepulledhiminandspreadherlegssohecouldsliphisthighinbetween
them.Heimmediatelymovedithigher,rightagainstwhereshewantedhim,andhepressedevencloser,
givingClairethetasteofthefrictionherclitcraved.

Theheatroseinsideherasshepushedback,shamelesslyrubbingherselfoffagainsthisthigh,but

thenNatepulledhislegaway.

Hechuckledatherhuffbeforekissingherhard."Youdon'tknowwhatyou'redoingtome,fuck,"he

whisperedagainstherlips."Oneday,I'mgoingtoletyoucomejustlikethis,ruttingagainstme,because
thatwasoneofthesexiestthingsIhaveeverseen."Oneofhisfingersslippedbetweenherfoldsand
brushedoverherclit,makingherbuckherhips,beforemovinglower,toheropening,andslippingjustthe
tipofhisfingerinside."Butyouwantedtogetfucked.Soweshoulddothatnow."

Shetightenedhergriponthebackofhisneck."I'mwaiting,then,"shechallenged,butherbreath

caughtinherthroatatthelookhegaveher,followedbythedirtiestgrinshe’deverseen.

Oncehewasinsideher,allshecoulddowasholdonashefuckedherhardandfast.Clairewas

prettysurehewasgoingtohavebruisesfromhergriponhisarms,buthedidn'tseemtomind,andshe
wastoooutofittoletgo.Shehadtroublebreathing,letalonethinking.Everythingwasjustsensations—
heatandslick,andthruststhatmadeherbodyspasmagainstthewavesofpleasure.Whenshefinally
came,sheshudderedsohard,shewaslefttremblingevenafterherorgasmwasover.Shefelthimcomeas
wellwhenshewasstillfloatingfromthehigh.

Whentheirbreathingcamebacktonormal,hepulledoutofherslowly,andhermusclestightened

againsttheemptiness.WhenNatemovedawayforamoment,achillranthroughher,butinthenext
second,hewasbackandsmilingsoftlyatherbeforeleaningin.Shethoughthe'dkissher,buthebrushed
hisnoseoverhers,overhercheekandthelineofherjaw.Heinhaleddeeply,andClaire'shandsfound
theirwaytohishairagain.Sheangledhisheaddowntopullhiminforakiss.Ontheoutside,shefinally
stoppedtrembling,buttherewassomethinginherchestthatstillflutteredhelplessly.

Andifthatwasn'tscary,Clairedidn’tknowwhatwas.
Shewasfineoutonthestreets,shewasfineworkingthejob,butthis?ThewayNatemadeherfeel?

Italmostmadeherlookforcoverorawaytoescape.

Whentheypartedandlayontheirsides,facingeachother,shedidn'topenhereyesuntilhebrushed

histhumboverhercheek.Andeventhen,shelookeddownathisneck,hiscollarbones,thedipsofskin.
ShewantedtorunherlipsandtongueoverhisAdam’sapple,butfornow,shejustexploreditwithher
fingertips.Whenheswallowed,andshecouldfeelitunderherfingers,sheglancedup.

Natewaswatchinghercarefully.Therewasnogrin,nosmile,nocharmcrankeduptoahundred,

buthiscontentmentwassomehowstillobvioustoher.Anditwasn'ttheself-satisfiedpleasureofagood
fuck,either.Hejustseemed...happy.Happytobehere,inthismoment,withher.

Clairehadnoideawhattodowiththat.This,perhaps,mightbeevenmorescarythanshethought—

morethanshecouldhandle.

CHAPTERTEN

"Ineedashower."Clairesatupsosuddenly,Natewasstillblinkinginconfusionwhenshewas

alreadyoutofbed.Hedidn'tevengettosayanythingbeforesheadded,"I'llbeoutinten"and
disappearedintothebathroom,closingthedoor.

Nateturnedtolieonhisback.Hewentthrougheverythingthathappenedsincethey'darrivedather

apartment,butifshewaspullingback,asheguessedshewas,hehadnoideawhatcausedit.Sheseemed
reallyintoeverythingtheydid,uptoandincludingtheirlastkiss.Hewasstillcomingdownfromthehigh
whensheranherfingersoverhisthroat,makinghimswallowagainstthesuddenwaveofaffection.Then
shelookedathim,andamomentlater,shewasupandrunning,quiteliterally.

Hehopedshedidn’texpecthimtojustgetupandleavewhileshewasintheshower.Therewasno

wayhewassneakingoutwithoutgoodbye.

Besides,Clairedidn’tseemlikethetypewhowouldhavetroubletellingsomeonetogetout.Ifshe

wantedhimgone,shewouldsayso.

Hedecidedtostayinbedandwaittoseewhatwasgoingtohappen.Hecoulduseashower

himself,actually.Maybethatcouldbehisexcuse,awaytobuyhimmoretimetofigureoutwhatshe
wanted.

Hesatupandleanedagainsttheheadboard,lookingaroundtheroom.Itwasasmallbedroom,with

spaceonlyforacloset,adresserandabed.Therewerenodecorationsotherthanaframedblackand
whitephotoofNewYorkCitynexttotheclosetandafewcolorfulnecklaceshangingfromatree-shaped
holderonthedresser.

Thereweretwopictureframesnexttotheholder,buthecouldn'tseethephotographsfromwherehe

wassitting,andhedidn'tfeellikegettingup.Besides,Clairemightbebackanyminute,andifshethought
hewassnoopingaround,therewasabigchancehe'dendupoutsidewithouthisclotheson.

Shewasbackbeforehisrestlessnesscouldsneakinforgood.Shewasdressedinafluffypurple

robethatcoveredhertoherknees,andifshewassurprisedhewasstillhere,shedidn'tshowit.Nate
decidedtotakeitatfacevalue.

"DoyoumindifIshoweraswell?"heasked,gettingup.Hecaughtherglancingdownonhisnaked

bodyanditmadehimfeelabitbetter—shewasstillinterestedinthat,atleast—buthestilldidn'tknow
whatwouldcomenext.

Claireshookherheadandmethisgaze."Ofcoursenot.Thesparetowelsareintheclosetonthe

left."

Shesteppedasideashewascrossingtheroom,andNatetriednottoreadtoomuchintoit.
Heshoweredquickly,impatienttogetbackoutthere.Atthispoint,hewasn'tsureifhewasn’tjust

seeingthings,hismindgivingintoitshabitofseekingoutpotentialproblemsinanysituation,sothatNate
coulddohisjobandfixthembeforetheymadeamess.Atwork,itwasveryuseful.Inhispersonallife,it
couldcreateamessonitsown.

Natetoweledoffandthentuckedthetowelaroundhiswaist,sincehedidn'ttakeanyclotheswith

himintothebathroom.Herolledhisshoulderstoletgoofsomeofthetensionandwalkedout.

Clairewassittingonthebed—madeuporatleastcoveredwithaquilt—withherlegscrossedand

oneelbowrestingonherkneeandsupportingherhead.Shewasdressedinflannelpajamapantsandan
oversizedT-shirt.

Itreallydidn'ttakeageniustofigureoutNatewasn'tstaying,butmaybetherewassomethinginthe

factthatshewaswaitingforhim?Orwasshejustdecentenoughtotellhimtogo?

"Youwantcoffee?Orsomethingtoeat?"sheasked,lookingupathimbetweenredwetcurlsfalling

intohereyes.Evenwithoutmakeup,hereyesstillstoodoutandNatefoundhimselfspillinghisworryout
loud.

"Doyouwantmetowantsomething?"
Clairetightenedhergriponhershin,andforafewseconds,theyjuststaredateachother.Natefelt

thesilencepressingagainsthischest,evenifthereweresoundscominginfromthewindow.

Finally,shesighed."Ijustdon'tthinkasecondsleepoverinarowisthebestidea.I'mnot...It'snot

thatwe'removingtoofast,but..."Sheshrugged.

"Butwe'removingtoofast,"hefinishedwithanod,thenextinhalecomingalittleeasier.Hecould

seeit,whenhetookastepback.Theproblemwasthatitdidn'tseemtomattertohimwhentheywere
together.

Clairenodded."Yeah."
Natetookcomfortinthefactthatshewasn'ttoohappysettingthisboundary,either.Shedidn'tseem

setongettingridofhim.Shejustchosetodothesmartthinghere.

"Okay."Henoddedaswell."Iwouldn'tsaynotocoffee,though.BeforeIgo."
Shesmiledathimandgotupquicklyfromthebedbeforeleadinghimtothekitchen.Itwasn'thow

hethoughtthedaywouldend,buthewasstillhappytobeherefornow.

***

NatemetShawnattheelevatorandtriednottogrimaceathisfriend’squestioninglook.
"Backsosoon?"Shawnasked,pushinghishandsintothepocketsofhisslacks.Hisjacketwas

thrownoverhisforearm,andtopbuttonsofhisshirtwereopen.

Probablycomingbackfromyetanotherparty,benefit,orsomething-or-other.Natecouldneverkeep

upwithallthesocialeventstheyweregettinginvitedto.ThankGodforShawn,whoactuallylikedtodo
thosethings.

"Yeah."
Shawn'sbrowswentup."Somethingwentwrong?"
Nateshookhishead,staringattheelevatorpanel."No.Didsomethinggowrongwithyournight?"

Afterall,theydidarrivehomeatthesametime.

"Oh,no."Shawn'ssmilespreadslowly."Everythingwentreally,reallynice."
Nateresistedrollinghiseyes,butbarely.Hisfriend’seasewithsocialeventsextendedtoeasewith

women,butmoreoftenthannot,Shawnstucktoonenightstands,whichwasn’texactlybad,but...Well.It
wasn’tallthatgood,either.

Bythetimetheelevatordoorslidopen,Natedecidednottocomment,butheshouldhaveknown

Shawnwouldn’textendhimthesamecourtesy."Didthetwoofyouhaveafight?"

Afewyearsago,buyingtheirapartmentsinthesamebuildinghadseemedlikeagreatidea.Ithad

feltasifallthreeofthem,Nate,Shawn,andDean,hadsimplygraduatedfromsharingaflattoamore
adult—andexpensive—versionofco-habitation.Ithadhappenedalmostbyaccident,too.NateandDean
weren'tsupposedtogowithShawntolookattheapartmenthe’dfound,buttheyendeduptaggingalong
sincethey’dhadnothingelsetodoforthetimebeing.Andsomehow,intheend,they'dallleftwithone
apartmenteach.NateandDeanhadevensharedthefloor,whileShawnhadpickedtheapartmentright
aboveDean's.

Nate'ssisterhadtoldthemtheywereco-dependent,butthey'dignoredher.They'dknowntheymade

agreatdealwiththerealtorandbesides,gamenightswouldn'thavetogetpushedoffbecauseofstupid
thingsliketrafficorlaziness.

Thesedays,havinghisbestfriendssoclosestillworkedgreatmostofthetime.Butsometimes—

likerightnow—thearrangementhaditsdisadvantages,too.ShawnquestioningNateintheelevatorabout
hisdatinglifewasdefinitelyoneofthem.

"No.We'vehadaniceevening,andthenIwenthome.Justlikeyoudid,"Nateadded,hopingagainst

hopetosteerShawnawayfromhimselfandClaire.

Theelevatorstopped,andNatesteppedout,butShawnblockedthedoorfromclosing.
"Fine.Areyougoingtoseeheragain?"
"Yes."This,atleast,ClaireandNateagreedontonight."We'regoingtoseeeachotheronSunday.

Happynow?"

Shawnnoddedandsteppedback.Hesmiledasthedoorstartedclosing."Night,Nate."
"Night."
Nateshookhisheadandheadedtohisdoor.Andtheycalledhimoverprotective.Hewasgoingto

remindShawnoftonightwhenhisfriendwouldevenimplyNatewasbeingoverbearing.

Hetookoffhisjacketassoonashegotintohisapartment,tossingitoverthebackofthecouch,and

headedtothekitchentogrababeer.Hewonderedwhattodowiththerestofhisnight.Hehadnointerest
inTV,andhedefinitelywasn'tgoingtoworkonaFridaynight.Hewasaco-founderofhisowncompany
tomakesurehewouldn’thavetodothatunlesstherewasanemergency.

Heheadedtothebedroomwherehequicklychangedandgotunderthecovers,beforesittingagainst

hisheadboard.Hesippedhisbeerandtriednottothinkthatlessthantwohoursago,hewasinClaire's
bed.No,notgoingthere.Thatwaylaymadness,andNatehadspenttoomuchtimeoveranalyzingthe
situationalready.Theyweremeetingthedayaftertomorrow,andthatwasitfornow.Everythingelse
wouldsortitselfout.Atleasthehopedso.

Finally,hepickeduphise-readerfromthenightstandandburrowedintohispillow.Thelatest

bestsellingridiculousnessofa'legalthriller'wastheperfectwaytodistracthimselfandspendastress-
freenight.

Healmostdidn'tthinkofClairefortherestoftheevening.
Almost.

CHAPTERELEVEN

Clairehadn’tbeenonanoutdoorsydatesincecollegewheneveryonewascountingmoneyand

beingcheap.Now,shedecidedshejusthadn'tbeendatingtherightguysaftergraduating.

NatetookhertotheHighLinewheretheyatebrunchconsistingofhotdogsandfries.Theysatasfar

fromthemainpathaspossible,ontheblanketheprocuredfromhisbackpack,andtheytalkedwhile
watchingpeoplepassby.ClairealsospentquitealotoftimewatchingNate,becauseseeinghiminjeans
andaT-shirtwassomethingnew.Helookedgreatinhissuits,therewasnodenyingthat,buttherewas
somethinginhiscasuallookthatdrewherin.

Oncetheparkbecametoocrowded,theyleft.Natecaughtherhandinhis,andshedidn'tprotest,

weavingtheirfingerstogether.

"Whatdoyouwanttodonow?"heaskedher,andsheraisedhereyebrows.
"Ithoughtyouwereleadingtheshowonthisone."
Heshookhishead."Ifiguredoutthefirstpart,nowit'syourturn.Thenwecanswitchagain,ifyou

want."

Shechuckled."Howcooperativeofus,"sheteased,butshehadtoadmitthatshelikedthat.Shewas

waryofcontrollingmen,bentongettingtheirway,andNatemakingherco-captainofthedaywasyet
anothersignshewouldn'tneedtoworryaboutthatwithhim.

"WecouldridedownandseewhatmatineesareplayingonBroadwaytoday."Shelaughedathis

look."I'mkidding,I'mkidding.Remember,wewouldbothgetourNewYorkercardtakenawayforthe
lackofBroadwayappreciation."Shetiltedherhead,consideringtheiroptions.Nothingparticularly
grabbedher,butsheknewshewantedtostayoutdoors.Theweatherwastoonicetopassupon."I'mfine
withjustwanderingaround.Ihaven'tgottenlostinthecityinages."

Shewascuriousifshecouldgetalittleofthatwonderback,nowthatherdefaultwhileoutonthe

streetswasmoreofavigilanceandriskassessmentthanadmiration.

Natesqueezedherfingersandsmiled."Let'swander,then."
WanderinginNewYorkCitywasn’teasy,especiallyonawarmSundaywhenitseemedlike

everyonehadthesameidea.Finally,theydecidedtoheadtowardstheBrooklynBridgeandjustkept
turningintotheneareststreetwhenevertheynoticedabigcrowdupahead.

Theytalkedabouttheircollegedays.Natewastwoyearsaheadofherinschool,buttheywentto

thesameclubsandpartiedinthesameneighborhoods.ClairetriedtoimagineNateyounger,butheonly
groanedwhenshetoldhimthat.

"Iwasshorterthanmostofmyyearandhadterriblehabitofnotironinganything,ever.Ilooked

terrible."

"Youarenotacrediblesource,"shetoldhimwithasmirk.
"Youarenotaskingmyfriendsorfamilyforanypictures,"hesaid,andwhatwasprobably

supposedtobeaglarechangedinstantlywhenhiseyeswidened.

Claire'shadtobewideaswell,butsheblinkedquicklytodistractherself.Meetingfamilyand

friendswasn'treallythirddatematerial,right?Ormaybeitcouldbe,atleastforthefriendspart,buttheir
thirddatefelllessthanaweekfromtheirfirstmeeting,sootherrulesshouldprobablyapply.

Nottomentionthat,technically,Natehadmetherparentsalready.Butshepreferrednottothink

aboutthat.

Hedidn'tgiveherachancetorespond—ormaybeheletheroffthehook?—byquicklychangingthe

subjecttothelifeaftercollegeandherearlydaysintheforce.

Clairetoldhimaboutherstartinpatrol,andheinquiredaboutthestoriesfromherdaysonthe

streets.Shehadprobablynevertalkedsomuchonadateinherlife,andsheregularlyglancedathimto
lookforthesignsofboredomorimpatience,butshedidn'tfindany.Sometimesoneofherstoriesbrought

outastoryofhis,andhetookover,butthenitwasbacktoheragain.Itwasn’tsomethingshewasusedto,
andshewasn'tsureherpastattemptsatdatingwerethatbadorifNatewasjustthatgoodatmakingher
feellikehecared.Butwhateveritwas,hestoodout,evenwhenClaireadmittedthebarwashanging
ridiculouslylowonthisone.

"Youokay?"Hetightenedhisgriponherfingers,anditremindedherthattheyhadbeenholding

handsforalongtimenow."Youdriftedoffinthemiddleofasentence."

"Ugh,sorry."
"It'sfine.ButIamcurioushowthestorywiththenakedguyandthekoalabearended,"hesaidwith

anamusedsmile,andClairechuckled.Shealmostmissedthosepatroldaysforamoment.

Shefinishedthatstoryandlaunchedintoanotherone,andbeforetheyknewit,theyhadwalked

throughhalfofManhattan.Themomentsherealizedthat,shestartedfeelingitinherlegs,andshesat
downontheclosestbench,pullingNatewithher.

"Okay,I'mallwalkedout,"sheadmitted,leaningagainstthebackrest.
Natestretchedouthislegswithasigh."Ohyeah,metoo."
TheysatinacomfortablesilenceforafewminutesbeforeClairecheckedthetime.Itwasn'teven

fiveyet.

"Okay,it'syourcallnow,"shesaid,glancingatNate."Whatarewedoingafterwecanfeelourlegs

again?"

"Oh,Ifeelthemjustfinenow,"hemutteredwithawince."Ifeeleverymuscleinthere.Butasin

what'snext...Areyouhungry?"

Clairetiltedherheadtotheside,considering."Abit,yeah."
Natenodded."Metoo.Sowecaneithergrabsomethingtoeat,orwecangotomyplace,andIcan

cookussomething."

"Youcook?"
"Notterriblywell,butIhaveafewthingsIknowhowtomake.Mostoftheminvolvepasta."
Bytheir"rules",hewastheonetodecidenow,butshefiguredhewasgivingheranoptionbecause

shewastheonewhopulledbackanddrewtheboundariestheothernight.Andshehesitatednow,too,but
shehadtoadmitwatchingNatecookwouldbenice.Besides,shewantedtoseehisapartment.He'd
alreadyseenherplacetwice.

"Ilikepasta,"shefinallysaidandgotrewardedwithhisbrilliantsmile.

***

Clairedidn'tmeantostare,buttheviewfromthefloor-to-ceilingwindowswasthefirstthinga

personcouldseeastheywalkedin.Sheexpectedabigapartmentandexpensive-lookingfurniture,butshe
wasn'tpreparedforthemillion-dollarview.

"IhadthesamereactionwhenIwalkedinhereforthefirsttime,"Natewhisperednexttoherear,

standingrightbehindher.Hechuckled,andthewarmpuffofairtickledtheskinofherneck."I'mpretty
sureI'dhaveagreedonamuchhigherpriceforthatalone,butthankfully,weallletDeanhandlethe
negotiations."

Dean.ThethirdpartoftheseeminglyinseparabletrioandtheoneClairehadn’tmetyet.Natetold

herontheirwayherethatallthreeofthemlivedinthisbuilding,andshejustshookherhead.Now,she
blinkedandturnedawayfromtheviewslowly."It'sbeautiful."

Natenodded,hisfingersbrushingherhairawayfromherface."It'sevenmorebeautifulnow."
Heleanedinandkissedherslowly,andsheopenedhermouthrightaway.Theyhadspenthalfthe

daywitheachotherwithoutanythingmorethanafewpecks,andClairerealizedhowmuchshewantedit
now.SheslippedherfingersunderhisT-shirtandranthemoverthedipofhisspine,butNateclosedhis

handsonherhipsanddrewback.

Clairewouldhavelostherbalanceifhishandsweren'tthere.Sheslidherpalmstorestonhis

sides,notreadytostoptouchinghimjustyet,andlookedup.

Nateinhaledsharply."You'rejust..."Hetightenedhisgriponherhipsasheclosedhiseyesfora

moment."You'remakingmecrazy,"hefinishedwhenheopenedthem.

WarmthspreadthroughClaire,andshenodded."Iknowthefeeling,"shewhispered.Normally,she

wouldn’thaveadmittedit,butjudgingfromthesmileNategaveher...Maybeitwasworthit.

"Okay,youneedtositdownhere,"hesaid,steppingback,andpointedhertoastoolnexttothe

kitchenisland."AndI’llbeontheotherside,cooking."

Shesmiledasshewatchedhimwalktothecounter."Youdon'twantanyhelp?"
Heshookhisheadashewashedhishandsunderthesink."Keepingmecompanyisenough.Doyou

wantwine?"

"Yes,please."
Shewatchedhimpreparefoodasshesippedherwine.Theconversationransmoothly,butClaire

didn'tfeelliketheyneededtofillthesilenceswhentheyhappened,either.Atsomepoint,sheturnedon
herseattotakeintheviewonemoretimeandsighed.

"Idon'tknowhowyougetanythingdoneherewiththisview,"sheadmitted,elicitingachucklefrom

him.

"Forthelongesttime,Icouldn’t.IlearnedtousecurtainswheneverIwantedtowork,anditgot

better,Igotusedtoit.Itdidtakememonths,though."

"Ibetitdid.”
Sheturnedtoseehimsmileatherandwonderedifthis,hissoftgazeandwarmsmile,was

somethingshewouldevergetusedto,too.

CHAPTERTWELVE

Aftertheyate,theytooktheirwineglassesandmovedtothecouch,sinceNatecouldseeshestill

wasn'tovertheview.Hedidn'tmind.Hecouldwatchherwhileshewasstaringatthecity.

Heshouldhaveknownhewouldn'tbeabletoresisttouchingherforlong,though.Ashewatched

her,hepicturedgoingdownonherasshesatthere.Hewouldspreadherlegsandeatheroutasshestared
aheadandonlysometimeslookdownatwhathewasdoing,maybegivehimasmileforhisefforts.He'd
suckonherclitthenandshewouldn'tbeabletostopherselffromarchingback.Maybeshe'dgrabhis
hair,maybeshe'dshout.Natewouldn'tstopuntilshecameagainsthislips.

Ormaybeshe'dbeonhislap,facingthewindow,ashe'dfuckintoherslowly,untilshe’dquicken

thepaceherselfwhenshegrewimpatient.He'drunhishandsoverherstomachandcupherbreasts,and
he'dcomeburiedinsideheraftershetensedaroundhim,shiveringfromherorgasm.

Ormaybeonedayhe'dfuckheragainstthewindow.He'dpushheragainstit,facingawayfromhim,

andhe'dfuckherhardasshetriedtocatchholdoftheglassasshewrithedbetweenhimandthewindow.

Claireturnedawayfromtheviewtolookathimrightthen,andeveryfantasydisappearedfromhis

headinaninstantashereyesdarkened,andhergazedroppedtohislips,shatteringthelastofhis
restraints.

"Putdownyourglass,"Natesaid,hisvoicelowandgritty.
Shedidashetoldher,notlookingawayfromhim.Thesecondherhandwasempty,hepushedher

downagainstthecushionsandpressedhisbodytohers.Hiskisswasdemanding,thetongueinsistent,as
hechasedhertastewiththedesirerunninghotinsideofhim.Hepushedhishandbetweenthecushions
andherheadandgrippedthenapeofherneck.

Shemoanedagainsthislipsandbuckedunderhim,andthenmoanedagainwhenhepushedback,

keepingherwhereshewas.Natesuckedonherlowerlip,beforegrazinghisteethoverit.Hemovedabit
togivehimselfsomespace,andhisfreehandfoundthezipperofherjeans.Heopenedthemquickly,and
afewsecondslater,hisfingersslippedintoherpanties,pushingagainstherclit.Herlegsparted,andhe
hadmoreroomnow,soheslippedhisfingersdeeper,thumbstillrubbinginsmallcirclesagainstherclit
asotherfingersslidbetweenherfoldsandcamebackwet.

"Whatdoyouwant?"heaskedwithhislipspressedagainstherskinashekissedherjawwhenshe

breathedharshlyagainsthisneck.

"Yourmouth."Shedippedherheadback,exposingherneck."Iwantyourmouth."
Natesmiledagainstherjaw,andwithonelastlickoverherlips,hemoveddownherbody.He

pulledherjeansandunderwearoff,andforasecondhesatback,admiringtheview.Clairewasbeautiful
likethis,spreadonhiscouch,legsparted,andheadthrownback.Herlongshirtalmostcoveredher,but
notquite.

Heleanedinandpushedtheshirtup,droppingakissbelowhernavelandscratchinghispricklyjaw

overtheskinbelowherabdomen,makinghershiver.Hisfingersslippedbetweenherfoldsagainand
maderoomforhistongue.Helickedoverherclitlightlyatfirst,thenwithmoreforce.Whenhesuckedon
it,herhandlandedinhishair,butshedidn'tpushhimawayorforward.Shejustweavedherfingersinto
hishair,andNatewantedmore,wantedhertoloseit,sohesuckedharderasheslidoneofhisfingers
insideher.Everythingwaswetandhot,andhecouldn'tgetenough.Hestrokedtheskinrightaboveher
openingwithhisthumb,andshetightenedhergripinhishair,pullinghimcloser.Hewouldgrinifhis
mouthwasn'totherwiseoccupied.

Hecurledhisfingerinsideherrightasheflattenedhistongueoverherclitandmoveditupand

downinthesamequickrhythm.Hedidn'twanttodragitout.Hewantedtofeelhercomeagainsthim
now.

Afewsecondslater,hegothiswish.Sheshivered,andhermusclestightenedasshemoaned.He

glancedupandsawshethrewahandoverhermouthtostiflethesound.Hegroanedinprotest,butsince
hismouthwasstillagainsther,sheshiveredattheaddedsensationbeforeusingherhandinhishairto
pushhimback.

Clairesatupquicklyandbroughthimcloser,lickingintohismouth.Nateletherin,lethertaste

herself,andthenpushedherbacksoshewouldliedownagain.Asshesettledbackonthecushions,she
reacheddownandcircledherfingersaroundhishardcock.

"Fuck."
Nategrippedthebackofthecouchashefoughtwithhimselfnottocometoosoon,butallthe

buildup,Claire'scloseness,andnowthesightinfrontofhimcoupledwiththetightgriparoundhiscock
—allofthispushedhimovertheedgeafterafewshortminutes,andhecameoverherhandandstomach.
Hefellforwardandcaughthimselfwithhishandrightnexttoherhead.Clairewasgrinningathimashe
wascomingdown,andsheletgoofhiscockonlytoraiseherhandtoherlips.Hegroanedassherubbed
herfingertipsoverherlowerlipandthenlickeditclean.

Nateleanedintokissher,andnowitwashisturntotastehimself.Tastethem.Everythingblended

together,andastheykissed,herealizedthathewasstumblingdownthepathofnoreturn.This,her,this
wasaone-waystreetforhim,anditwastoolatetohitthebrakes.

Hethoughtheshouldbeterrified,butinreality,hecouldn'thelpgrinningintothekiss.

***

"You'resureyoudon'twanttostay?"Nateaskedashewatchedherputonherclothesafewhours

later.They’dalreadysetupanotherdateforFriday,buthestilldidn’twanttoseehergonow.

Claireshookherhead."Ihavetobeatthestationearlytomorrowmorning."
"Letmeatleastdriveyouhome."
Sheshothimdownwithalookthatsaid“I'manNYPDdetective,andIcantakecareofmyself”,so

heraisedhishandsinagestureofsurrender.

"Fine,fine,haveityourway."Heleanedinforakiss."MayIatleastaskforyoutotextmewhen

yougethome?"

Sheopenedhermouth,andhecouldseeonherfaceshewasgoingtosayno,butthenshepressed

herlipstogetherandlookeddownatherarmsshecrossedoverherchest.

"Okay,"shefinallysaid,glancingup."I’lltextyou."
Hesmiledasheledhertothedoor."Thanks."
Theykissedbytheentrance,slowandsweet,andNatedidn'twanttolethergo,butswallowed

downanyprotestwhenshepulledback.Heknewthatwouldjustmakeherretreatevenfurther.

"SeeyouonFriday,then?"heasked.
"Yes."Shebrushedherlipsagainsthisonemoretime."SeeyouonFriday."
Clairewasoutthedooramomentlater,andNatecloseditslowlybeforeturningbacktotheempty

apartment.Therewasamessonandaroundthecoffeetable,dishesandglasses,andarolled-upblanket
nearthefootofthecouch.Heconsideredhisoptionsashestraightenedhislivingroom.Hecouldcallit
anearlynightandgotobed,hecouldwatchamovie,orhecouldcheckifDeanwasfree.

Hewentwiththethirdoption.Hegrabbedhiscellafterheputthedishesinthedishwasher.
Wanttoplay?hetextedDean.Ihaveleftovercarbonara.
Ittookfifteensecondstogetareply,andNateunlockedthedooronhiswaytothecouch.He'dset

uptheequipmentashewaited.

Therewasaknockonthedoorbeforeitopened,andDeanwalkedinwithtwoofhisfancybeers.

"Hey,man,whathappened?Ithoughtyou'dbeotherwiseoccupiedtonight,"hetoldNateashesatdown
onthecouchnexttohim.

"Iwas,butI'mnotanymore."Natehandedhimoneofthecontrollers.
"NowIfeellikeaneglectedwifeyoucamebackhometo,youcheatingbastard."
Natesnorted."Yeah,yeah,youshoulddefinitelydivorceme."
"Oh,really?"Deanraisedhiseyebrowsathim."Soyou'regettingseriouswiththeladydetective?"
"Ididn'tmean..."Natestarted,butstoppedatthesightofhisfriend'sgrin."Fuckyou."
"Nope,we'redivorcing,remember?"Deantoastedhimwithhisbeerbottle."Nowtellmeallabout

whoyou’releavingmefor."

Natesunkbackintothecushions.Heshould'veknownbetter.
"Justtakethecontrollerandlet'splay."
Deanshookhishead.“Ohno,youpromisedmecarbonarafirst.AndIwantthatstory,sospillit.”
Nategroaned,gettingupfromthecouchtoheatDean’sfood.Heshould’vereallythoughtoutthis

wholethingbetter.Amoviewouldn’taskhimanyquestions.

***

Thenextfewweeksflewbyquickly,andNatewasalmostafraidtotemptfatewithhowhappyhe’d

been.HeandClairehadbeengrowingcloserandspendingmoretimetogether,andhecouldtellshewas
relaxingmoreandmoreinhispresence.They’deventalkedaboutherfamilyatsomepointaftershe’d
mentionedhermotherdroppedinattheprecincttosurpriseherandtakehertolunch.AndwhileClaire
hadn’texactlyspilledanyfamilysecrets,shehadn’trunawayscreaming,either,whichNateconsidereda
win.

He’dmadeapointofitatworktonotbeinvolvedinmayorDowson’scaseatall.Usually,the

partnersmeteveryweektodiscusstheongoingcasessotheyknewatleastthebasicsofthemall,and
couldofferadviceandstrategizeasneeded.ShawnandDeanhandledDowsonseparately,though,and
theyhadnoproblemdoingso.

IfNatehadeverneededyetanotherproofofhowworkingwithhisbestfriendswasthebestcareer

movehe’devermade,thiswouldbeit.

Meanwhile,itwashightimeforClairetomeetthetwoofthemandnotintheoffice,sothenexttime

Natewasspendingthenightatherplace,heturnedtoherwhenheslidintobedaftertheshower.Shewas
readingsomethingonherphonebuthadtofeelhisgazeonherbecausesheglancedathim.

“What?”
“So,Iwasthinking,”Natestarted,proppinghimselfonhiselbow.“Whatwouldyousaytomeeting

ShawnandDeansometimesoon?Likenextweekend,maybe?”

Clairestaredathimforalongmoment,butNatecouldn’treadherexpression,sohedecidedto

wait,tryingnottotenseasthesilencedragged.Ifshestilldidn’ttrusthimenoughtonotuseher—orlet
Shawnuseher—forthemayor’scampaign...No,hewasnotgoingthere.Theywerepastthis.

Hehoped.
“I’dlovetomeetthem,butthere’sthis…”Shepausedandglanceddownatherphonebefore

lookingathimagain.“Iactuallywantedtoaskyoutodosomethingelsenextweekend,somaybewe
couldpushitbackabit?Mineis…notthatmoveable,I’mafraid.”

Sheturnedherphonetoshowhimthescreen,andthereitwas,spelledinlargeblueletters:
POLICECOMMISSIONER’SBALL
Itwasanannouncementabouttheupcomingparty,andwhenNateglancedupatClaire,shewas

staringathimwithhereyesshiningbrightlyinthedimlight.Itbroughthimbacktotheirfirstdateand
lookingatherfromtheothersideofthesmalltable.Itseemedsolongagonow.

“Wouldyouliketocomewithme?”sheasked,andhenoddedrightaway.
“OfcourseIwould,”hetoldherandleanedintokisshershoulder.“Iwouldloveto.”

Shesmiledbrightlyanddroppedthephonedownonthecovertopullhimupforaproperkiss.

“Good,”shewhisperedagainsthislips.

Yeah,Natethought,lickingintohermouthandpullingherevencloser.Definitelygood.

CHAPTERTHIRTEEN

WhenNatehadfirstsuggestedtakingadvantageoftheFYU’scompanycarforthenight,Clairehad

saidno,butsheultimatelycavedwhenheinsisted.

“Ijusthopenobodywillseeuscomingoutofthelimo.”Sheleanedintohissideasthedriver,

whomNateintroducedasMatt,tookofftowardthehotelwherethePoliceCommissioner’sBallwasheld
thisyear.

“It’shardlyalimo.”Natekissedthesideofherhead.“Besides,withyouinthisdress,nobodywill

careaboutthecar,trustme.”Hepulledhercloserandnosedatherear.“Ihadtokeepmyhandstomyself
whenIsawyoucomingout,ortheneighborhoodwouldhavegottenaneyeful.Iwantedtotakethatdress
offofyourightthenandthere.”

Claireinhaledsharplyasherbodyrespondedtohiminaninstant.Damn,whathewasdoingtoher.

Evennow,ifheproposedtakingascenicroutethroughoutManhattansohecouldfuckherinthebackseat
ofthefreakingcompanycar,shewouldsayyes.Shewashalf-temptedtosuggestitherself.

Thensherememberedtherewasactuallyadriverwiththeminthiscar,anditcooledheroffright

away.Evenwiththepartitionbetweenthebackandthefrontseatclosed,therewasnowaythedriver
wouldn’tknowwhattheyweredoingbackhere.AndClairewasalotofthings,butanexhibitionistwas
notoneofthem.

Shetookadeepbreathandpulledbackabit.Hiseyesweredarkinthedimlight,butsherecognized

thatlooknow.Shereachedoutandranherfingersoverthelineofhisjaw,guidinghimintoakiss.

“Keepthatthoughtforlater,”shemurmuredagainsthislipsandwasrewardedwithaquietgrowl.
“Countonit,”hewhisperedbeforedivinginforanotherkiss,thisonedeeperandhotterthanthe

last.

Clairewasoutofbreathwhentheyreachedthehotel,andshewasprettysureanyonewhosawher

rightafterexitingthecarwouldknowshe’dspenttheentireridebeingdevouredbyNate.

Shelaughedwhentheydriftedapartandshesawhislipscoveredinherlipstick.Shereachedoutto

wipeitoffwithherthumb,andhecaughtherfingerbetweenhisteeth.

God,shewishedtheywerebackhome.
“Weneedtoleavethiscarrightnow.”Nate’slowvoiceandintensegazewerepullingherin,and

shewasreallytemptedtoforgetallabouttheball.Thensherememberedherself.Makinganappearance
atthepartymightnothelpwithsecuringhermovetoMajorCrimes,butherbosshadtoldtheentire
precinctheexpectedthemalltobethere.Clairewasn’ttakinganychances.

Shepulledback,quicklyfixedhersmudgedlipstick,andthentheywereoutofthecarandwalking

towardtheentrance.SheleanedintoNateastheyenteredthebuilding,andafewphotographersturnedin
theirdirection.

“Ihatethis,”shewhisperedatthesametimeassheplasteredasmileonherface.
“Youlookgorgeous,justdon’tglareatanyone.”Natewasobviouslyfightingoffasmile.“Come

on.”

Aftertheymovedthroughthemainhallanddroppedofftheircoats,theyenteredthemainballroom.

Itwasalreadypackedwithpeople,butmostofthemweretalkinginsmallgroups,andonlyaboutadozen
couplesweredancing.

“Drinkfirst?”Nateglancedather,tiltinghisheadtowardthebar.
Shenoddedquickly,tighteninghergriponhisarmforhalfasecond.“Yes,please.”Shesuddenly

feltweirdlynervousaboutthiseveninganddidn’tknowwhy.Aglassofchampagnewouldhopefullyhelp
herrelax.

***

Anhourlater,sheandNateweretalkingtoLoriandherdateaboutthevenue,ofallthings,butat

leastClairehadfinallyforgottenabouthernerves.Thelieutenantandhiswifehadfoundthemearlier,so
shefeltlikehementallycheckedheroffthelistofattendance,andshecouldrelaxnowandenjoyher
evening.

SheglancedupatNatewhentherewasalullintheconversation,andshefoundhimlookingather

withasmile.

“What?”Shewantedtorunherhanddownthelapelsofhistuxedobutsettledonrestingitagainst

hischest.Shemightnotlikeofficialandprimoutingslikethisone,butdamn,Nateinthatoutfitwas
definitelyahugevoteinfavorofmoreofthemintheirfuture.

“Careforadance?”heasked,takingherhandinhisandrunninghisthumboverherknuckles.
Clairelookedatthedancefloor.Thereweredefinitelymorecouplesonitthenbefore,andtheslow

songthebandwasplayingrightnowwasoneClaireliked,evenifshecouldn’tquiteplaceit.

“Sure.”
Ofcourse,itturnedoutNatewasagreatdancer.Ofcourse.
“DotheyteachdanceclassesatHarvard?”sheasked,leaningclosertohimastheyswayedtothe

music.“Youknow,‘HowtoBeaHot-ShotLawyer101’typeofstuff.”

Thepuffofairtickledherearwhenhechuckledwithhischeekbrushingagainstthesideofher

head.“Sure,becauseweallneedtoknowhowtotangobeforethejury.”

Shelaughed.“There’sabadjokesomewhereintherewaitingtohappen.”
“Pleaserestrainyourself.”Hesteppedbackandswirledheraroundbeforepullingherbackin.“I

spentafewmonthsindanceclassinhighschool,though.”

Shelookeduptocatchhisgazeandtriedtocontainhergrin.“Dotell.”
Nateshookhisheadwithashrug.“Itwasn’tmyidea.ButSylvia’sBroadwayobsessionwasinfull

swingalreadybackthen,andshewantedtotakethesedanceclasses.Shealreadyknewshedidn’thavea
voicetobeasinger,soshegotitinherheadthatshewasgoingtobeadancer.”Herolledhiseyes,but
therewasthatfondtoneinhisvoicewheneverhetalkedabouthisyoungersister.“Itdidn’tpanout,asyou
canguess,butsinceIwasthedesignateddriver,momthoughtitwouldbeagreatideaformetolearn
something,too,sinceIhadtobethereanyway.”

“Didyoulikeit?”
“Theclassitselfwasokay,butIwasasixteen-year-oldboywhowenttodanceclasseswithhis

littlesister.Youcanimaginehowmyfootball-lovingfriendsreactedtothat.”

Shegrimaced.Sherememberedhighschoolalltoowell.“Uh-oh.”
“Exactly.Theygotoverit,butsoonafterthat,Sylviarealizedshewasn’tgoingtobeaprofessional

dancer,andwewerebothsetfree.”Nateswirledheronceagain.“Ihaven’tforgotteneverything,though.”

“Icanseethat.”
Theydancedforafewmoresongs,thentookabreaktogetsomethingtodrink.Natehandedhera

wineglassandclinkedhisownagainstit.Whateverhewasgoingtosay,however,gotlostina
commotionneartheentrance.

Theybothturnedtoseepeoplecrowdingclosertoseewhateverthatwasabout.Thentwo

photographerscamein,walkingbackwardsandsnappingphotos,andClairesuddenlyhadabadfeeling
aboutthis.

No.Please,no.
Buttherehewas.Herfatherappearedatthecommissioner’sside,flashinghissmileandnoddingat

peoplearoundhim,asifhewasafreakingmoviestar.

Shetightenedherfreehandintoafistbeforeshecaughtherself.Itcaughtheroffguard,andit

shouldn’thave—Itshouldn’thave.Sheshouldhaveknown,heshouldhavetoldher,damnit…

ThenhergazesnappedtoNate’s.
“Didyouknow?”shewhispered,suddenlyfeelingcold.Shecouldhearhervoicebeingharsh,andit

wasareliefnoonewaspayingthemanyattention,becauseshefeltlikeshewassuddenlyontheedgeand
rapidlylosingcontrol.

“No,”Natesaid,frowning.“No,Ididn’t.”
Hiswordsregisteredslowly.Hesoundedsincere,evenabithurt,maybe,butitwasn’tafar-fetched

conclusionshehadjumpedto,here.Nate’scompanywashandlingherfather’scampaignandsure,Nate
wasn’ttheleadonit,but—

“Iwould’vetoldyouifIknew,”hewenton,slidingabittothesideandmakingherturn,too.
Sheknewwhathewasdoing.Hewasshieldingherfromherfather.Thingwas,allofasudden,she

wasn’tsurewhohewasprotectinghere.

“Howcouldyounotknow?”sheaskedafterquicklylookingaround.Everyone’sattentionwasstill

onthecommissionerandthemayor,andnowthatClaireandNatemovedawayfromthetableandleaned
againstthewall,theyhadasmuchprivacyastheycouldgetwithoutleavingtheroom.“Wouldn’tShawn
tellyou?”

Nateglanceddownathisglasswithafrownbeforelookingatthechaosintheroom.“Yes,he

would’ve,”hesaidslowly,andhisfrowndeepened.“Damnit.”

“What?”Sheturnedherheadtoseewhathewasseeingbutquicklylookedaway.Shehadno

interestinwatchingherfatherplaythestarofthenight.

“Shawnwould’vetoldmeifheknew,”Naterepeated,turningtolookather.“Whichmeanshe

didn’tknow.”

Clairehadnoideawhattothink.Ononehand,yeah,itwasdefinitelysomethingshecouldpicture

herfatherdoing—ignoringotherpeopleandjustdoingwhateverhefeltlike.Ontheother,though…he’d
hiredthefixerstohandlehiscampaignrightfromthestart,sowhywouldhegobehindtheirbacksnow?
Andforwhat,aparty?

Sheranahandthroughherhairandtriedtocalmdownandthink.Shehatedthatthewholething

evenrattledhersomuch.Itwasn’tthefirsttimeherfatherblindsidedherlikethis,afterall.Butshe’d
felt…she’dfelthappy,earlier.Happyandsafefromallthebullshit,enjoyinghernightwithNateand
plottingplansforlateron.

Andnowherperfectnightwasruined.Damnit.Shejustwantedtogohome.
Natesighed.“DoyouwantmetocallMatt?”
Shewasnoddingbeforeheevenfinishedthesentence.
“Okay,justwaithereand—”
Whateverhewasgoingtosaynextdidn’tmatterbecausesuddenlythecrowdofpeopleopenedlike

afreakingRedSeabeforeMoses,andshecouldonlystare,frozeninplace,asherfathercameuptoher,
withthecommissionerstillgluedtohisside.

“Hereyouare!”Herfathergrinnedatherlikeheneverdidinprivate.“Iwasn’tsureifIwasgoing

tocatchyou.”

Ibetyouweren’t.
Shecouldfeeltheeyesofthecrowdonher,andherskinitchedasifthelooksphysicallycrawled

overherlikeants.SheknewNatewasrightnexttoher,andshewishedshecouldgrabhimandrun,she
wished…

Itdidn’treallymatternow.Itneverdid,nottoherfather.
Andhewasn’tdoneyet,ohno.
“Commissioner,”hesaidasheturnedtothemannexttohim.“Letmeintroduceyoutooneofyour

bestandbrightest—mydaughter,ClaireDowson.”

Thecommissionerthankfullytookitinstride.“It’snicetomeetyou…”

“Detective,”shecroakedbeforeclearingherthroat.“DetectiveClaireDowson.It’sanhonorto

meetyou,sir.”

“She’stheyoungestdetectiveinherprecinct,”herfathercontinued.Theprideinhisvoicewas

perfectlywellacted,Clairehadtogivehimthat.“ShewantstomovetoMajorCrimesdivisionnow,
though.Lookoutforthatappli—”

“Dad!”
Shecouldhardlyrecognizehervoice,andsheseemedtobehavingsomekindofout-of-body

experiencebecauseshecouldswearshewaswatchingthistrainwreckfromthesidelikeamovieclip.

Theterriblethoughtcircledinherhead.Howdidheknow?
“I’mjoking,I’mjoking.”Herfatherraisedhishandsinthegestureofsurrender.
“Let’smoveontoourtable,shallwe?”Thecommissioner’sfacewasamaskofpoliteness,butGod

onlyknewwhathewasthinkingrightnow.

Thiswasherworstnightmarecomingtrue,andshecouldn’tbelieveitwasactuallyhappening.She

thoughtshemighthavenoddedingoodbyeasthemenwalkedaway.Theneveryoneelsestoppedpaying
heranyattention—althoughshecouldalreadyhearthemwhispering.Shewassurethestorywouldspread
beforethenightwasover.

“Claire?”
Thesoftvoicerightnexttoherearmadeherjump,andherheadalmostcollidedwithNate’snose

whensheraiseditquickly.

“Ineedtogetoutofhere,”sheheardherselfsay,andhenodded.Whenhetriedtoputhishandon

herback,shemovedawaybeforehecouldtouchher.

No.
Justno.

CHAPTERFOURTEEN

NatehadtobitehistongueashewatchedClaire’stensefigurefidgetingwiththestrapofherpurse

astheywaitedforMattoutsidethehotel.Sheseemedlikeshewasn’tevenhere,lostinherthoughts.

Shedefinitelywasn’twithhimanymore.
Hewonderedwhatthehellhappened—Whatwasthemayorthinking,comingherelikethis?Nate

wassureShawndidn’tknowaboutthis,soithadtobethemayor’sownidea—that,orhismainadviser,
Tally,hadputhimuptothis.

Damn,themayordidn’tevenhavehiswifewithhim.Naterubbedthebaseofhisnose,swallowing

thesigh.Itwasjustaclusterfuckonmultiplefronts,butallNatecaredaboutrightnowwastakingcareof
Claire.

Ifonlyshewouldlethim.
ThecarfinallyarrivedwhenNatestartedconsideringsimplyflaggingdownataxi.Clairegotin

withoutawordandimmediatelyturnedawaytostarethroughthewindow.

NatetoldMatttodrivetoClaire’splaceandthenclosethescreenseparatingthebackseatfromthe

front.

“Hey.”Hereachedtoputahandonherarmbutdroppeditbeforehecouldtouchher.
“Idon’twanttotalktoyou.”
Thewordsdidn’tevenregisterrightaway.Itwashertone—coldanddistant—thatfirsthithim.
“I’msorry—”
“Oh,you’resorry,aren’tyou?”Sheturnedtohimwithshiningeyes,andhepulledback.Shelooked

athimlikeshewasdisgustedandangry,anddidn’tknowwhichonewaswinning.“What,thelittlefamily
scenedidn’tgoasexpected?”

Hefrowned,notfollowing.“Wait,comeagain?”
Shesnortedwithoutevenahintofhonestlaughterassheglancedawaytostareahead.
Thenithithim.“Claire,Ididn’tknowhewasgoingtobethere,”Natesaidslowly,willingherto

lookathim,toseethathewastellingthetruth.“Ihadnoidea.”

Shecurledherhandsintofistsonherlap,andforasplitsecond,healmostexpectedhertohithim.
“Ibelievedyou,”shegrittedoutbetweenherteeth,blinkingfastafewtimesbeforemeetinghisgaze

again.“Iwould’veboughtthatstory,too,damnit,anditpissesmeoff.”

“It’sthetruth.”
“No,itisn’t.”Sheshookherhead.“Thatalone,Icould’vebelieved,butyouoverplayedyourhand.”
Nateturnedsidewaysontheseatsohecouldfaceher.Sheseemedtoslipfurtherandfurtheraway,

andhedidn’tknowhowtostopit.“Ihavenoideawhatyou’retalkingaboutnow.”

“Ofcourseyoudon’t.”
Hetookadeepbreath.Shewashurting,hegotthat,butwhydidshesuddenlydoaone-eightyon

him?“Listen,Iknow—”

“Don’tpatronizeme.”Thelookshegavehimnowwasdefinitelymovingtowardsdisgust,andthat

madehisstomachtightenpainfully.

Hesaggedagainsttheseat.Hecouldn’tbelieveonlyhalfanhouragotheyweredancingand

laughingabouthisdanceclassesfromwayback.

“Ireallydon’tknowwhathappenedtomakeyousoangryatme,”headmittedquietly.
Hershouldersdropped,andshehungherhead,lettingherhaircoverherface.Forafewshort

seconds,Natethoughtthatthiswasit—thatsheranoutofsteam,andnowthatshecouldseethingsclearly,
shewouldrealizeshewasblowingoutatthewrongperson.

“Howdidheknow?”sheasked,notliftingherhead,andhehadtoleanclosertohearherover

mutedsoundsofNewYorkoutsidethecar.Butbeforehecouldsayanything,beforehecouldaskherwhat

shemeant,shepulledhershouldersback,straighteninginherseat,andsheturnedtohim.“Youhavean
excuseforthat,too?HowthehelldidmyfatherknowaboutmeapplyingtoMajorCrimes,huh?”

Whenhewasgoingtothinkaboutitlater,theonlyexplanationhewouldcomeupwithonwhyit

tookhimsolongtopiecethingstogetherwasshock.Becauseforalongmoment,hejustsatthere,staring
ather,notcomputingthewordsthatjustcameoutofhermouth.

Andeachpassingsecondwasanadmissionofguilttoher,ofcourse.
“Ihaven’ttoldhim,”hefinallysaid,butshejustshookherhead.
“Please,justdon’t,okay?Justdon’t.”
“Youaccusemeoflyingandthenofsharingyoursecretswithyourfather—whom,bytheway,I

haven’tevenseen,letalonespokento,sinceourjointmeetingalmosttwomonthsago—andthenyou
expectmetojust,what,swallowtheseaccusationsasifthey’renothing?”

Hecouldn’tbelievethis.Buthecouldfeelangerwakingupdeepinsidehim,underthefogofhurt

andconfusion.Hehaddonenothingtodeservethis,andClairejustthrewitinhisfacelike…likeshe
half-expectedthistohappenallalong.

Fuckdamnit.
“Ididn’tdothis,”herepeated,tryingforcalm,whenshedidn’tsayanythingandturnedherhead

awaytostarethroughthewindow.“Ididn’tknowhewasgoingtobethere,andIsureashelldidn’ttell
himanythingaboutyourcareerplans.”Whatthehell?hewantedtoadd,butswallowedthesewordsin
hissuddenlytightthroat.

Clairecontinuedtoignorehim,andtheonlysignshe’devenheardhimwerehertremblinghandsin

herlapuntilshecurledthemupagainandpressedagainstherstomach.

God,hewishedhecouldpullhercloseandtellhereverythingwasgoingtobefine.
Hedidn’t.Forone,she’dmadeitclearshedidn’twanthimtotouchher.Andfortheother,hewas

hurtandangryhimselfnow,too,andasmuchashewantedherclose—well.Hewantedhertonotthink
theworstofhimmore.

Thesilenceinthecarwasstifling,andhewishedthat,foronce,thestreetswouldjustmagically

clear,andtheycouldgettoClaire’splacefaster.Butwhenhefinallygothiswish—whenthecarstopped
rightinfrontofherbuilding,andshereachedforthedoorknob—Natewantedtostopher,topullherback
andmakeherlistentohim.Makeherbelievehim.

“Claire,wait…”Natestarted,hesitatingasshe’dalreadyopenedthedoor.
Sheseemedtopauseforhalfasecond—longenoughforhimtohope—butthensheshookherhead

andleftthecar,shuttingthedoorloudenoughtomakehimwince.

Natesatthere,unmoving,wayaftershedisappearedinsideherbuilding.

***

HecouldignoreShawn’stextsandcallsformostofthenextmorning,buthecouldn’tignorebanging

onhisdoor.Heglancedattheclockashegotoutofbed.

11:40.Well,ShawnwaitedlongerthanNatewouldhave,ifthesituationwasreversed.
“Didyourphonedie?”hisfriendaskedinsteadofagreeting,walkinginandlookingaround.Then

helookedatNate.“Whathappenedtoyou?”

Nateshrugged,closingthedoor.“Longstory.”
“IbetIknowatleastapartofit.”Shawnsprawledoverhisarmchairwithouttakinghiseyesoffof

Nate.“ButI’mallears.”Heliftedhisheadforamoment,glancinginthedirectionofthebedroombefore
lookingbackathim.“Youalone?”

AndNatewouldswearthattheonlythinghedidwasnod,butsuddenlyShawnsatup,puttinghis

legsdown.

“I’mnotgoingtolikethisstory,amI?”
“Notparticularly,no.”Natesatonhiscouch,buryinghimselfintothecushionsandclosinghiseyes.

“Onmultiplelevels.”

“Enlightenme,then.”
“Youknowhewenttotheball,right?”NatetiltedhisheadinShawn’sdirectionandlookedathis

friend’sworriedface.

“Yeah.Idiot.I’llchewhimouttomorrow.”
“Itwasastupidstunt.Idon’tgetwhyhewentwithit.”Nateshookhishead.“Therewasn’tevena

lotofpressthere.”

“Ibetit’sTully’sdoing.”Shawngrimaced.“Theguyprobablydoesn’tfeelimportantenoughnow

whenhisbossconsultssomeoneelse.”

“Hisbossbetterconsultsomeoneelseifthisiswhathismainadviserhastooffer.Seriously,he

wenttherewithouthiswife,forfuck’ssake.TheybothprobablyknewshewouldwarnClaire.”

Natelookeddownathislapwhenhefeltasharppanginhischestatthemerementionofhername.

Itwasn’tenoughthathespenthalfthenightandthewholemorningfeelingsorryforhimself,no.Nowhe
hadtodoitwithhisfriendwatching,too.

“Howbadwasit?”Shawnaskedquietly.
Prettydamnbad.“Nottoobadforthemayor,Isuppose.Atleastnotuntilshegetshimsomewhere

wheretherewon’tbeanywitnesses.Shewasfurious,andrightfullyso.”Nategrimaced,thinkingof
Claireunloadingthatfuryonherfather.Ononehand,itwouldbeadisaster.Onanother…Hecouldn’t
helpbutwonderifitwouldchangeanythingthathappenedlateron.

Heforcedhimselftostopthatlineofthought,andthenquicklyrecappedwhatthemayorhaddone,

towhichShawnhadtheonlycorrectresponse.

“Whatthefuck?”
Nateshookhishead.“Noidea.It’slikehecompletelyforgoteverythingsheexplicitlytoldhimnot

todo.Andwhatwebothtoldhimrightatthestart.”

“Ihaven’treadaboutthemayor’sdaughterhavingablowoutlastnight,soIassume…”
“Shewastooshockedtoreact,Iguess.”Luckyguy.“Weleftrightafter,soshedidn’tseehimlater.”
“Smallmercies,”Shawnmuttered,andNatesnortedbeforehecouldstophimself.
“Yeah.”
“Okay,it’sobviouslynottheendofthestory,socomeon.Tellme.”
“WhatcanIsay…”Nateshrugged,avoidinghisfriend’sgaze.Hetriedtopushbackthehurt,beas

clinicalaspossible,butheknewhewasfailingprettybadly.“Apparently,whenherfatherwasn’t
available,Ibecametheperfecttarget.”

Shawnfrowned.“Targetforwhat?”
“ShegotitintoherheadthatIknewherfatherwasgoingtobethereanddidn’ttellher.ThatI—or

ratherwe—orchestratedthiswholedisaster.”Nateranahandthroughhishair,wishingitwouldallbe
easiertogetout.

“That’sstupid.”
“Well,tellherthat.GodknowsItried,butshedidn’tlisten.There’smore,though.”
“Morethanyoulyingtoherandsettinguparidiculoustrapto,Idon’tknow,riskaPRdisaster

involvingthemayor?”

“Apparently,I’mmoreresourcefulthanthat.”Sarcasmwasgood.IthelpedNatenotto—nottoget

toointowhathewassaying.“Yousee,herfathersomehowfoundoutaboutClairewantingtomovetothe
MajorCrimes.HebroughtitupinfrontofthecommissionerasthatjokeImentioned.Butsinceshedidn’t
tellhimaboutit,someonehadto,right?”

“Andshethinksyouwerethatsomeone.”

“Yep.”
Therewasastretchofsilenceandthen,“Whatthehell,man?”
Natesnortedhumorlessly.“Ihonestlyhavenoidea.Weweregood.Wewerereallygood.Evenlast

night,beforeherfathershowedup,everythingwasgreat.Andthen,poof,I’mthebadguy,andshedoesn’t
wantanythingtodowithme.”

“Damn.”
“Yeah,prettymuch.”
Therewerethingsthatweresittingatthetipofhistongue,admissionsabouthowmuchhehadcome

tocareaboutClaire,howinvestedhehadbecomeinsuchashortperiodoftime.

Heswallowedthemalldown.
Itdidn’tmatter.Hehopedtherewasstillachanceofthingsworkingout—how,hedidn’tknowyet

—buteveniftheydidn’t…Eveniftheydidn’t,hewouldgetoverit,andinthemeantime,yes,itwas
goingtosuck,buthewouldpushthrough.Hedidn’thaveachoice.

Hejustwishedhewouldn’tstillseeClaireshyingawayfromhistouchsoclearlyinhismind.He

wishedhecouldforgetthewayshelookedathimwithcontemptanddisgustwrittenalloverherface.

Hewishedhecouldgobacktoyesterdayafternoon.Hewished—
Itdidn’tmatterwhathewishedfor,anyway.

CHAPTERFIFTEEN

WhenMondaycamearound,thelastthingClairewantedwastogotoworkandfacehercolleagues,

whoallprobablyheardaboutherfather’sstunt.Shewouldgladlyspendanotherdayonthecouch,inher
pajamas,marathoningFriendsanddefinitelynotcryingoverRachel’slovelifebecauseRosswasa
douchebagwholiedanddidn’tdeserveher.

Butwhetherornotshewantedtogotoworkdidn’tmatter.Shescrambledoutofbedwhenthealarm

startedringing,andshewentthroughhermorningroutineonautopilot,inahazeofnotenoughsleepand
notenoughcaffeineinhersystem.

Shecoulddothis.Itwasn’tthefirsttimeaguyscrewedheroverand,regardlessofhowmuchshe

tried,itprobablywouldn’tbethelast.Thesamewithherfather.

Maybeshewasjustdestinedtodealwithmenwhowouldalwaysputtheirneedsabovehers—or

evenabovebeingadecenthumanbeing.

Whateveritwas,itwaseventuallygoingtostophurting,soshejusthadtogrindherteethandbear

it.Ifshewaslucky,sheandLoriwouldgetacaserightaway,andshewouldhaveplentytodistract
herselfwith.

Butaftershearrivedattheprecinct,itlookedlikeherluckcontinuedtobeanywherebutonher

side.Sheheardtheusualmurmurofvoiceswhenshegotin,butthemajorityofconversationsdroppedoff
asshewalkedthroughthebullpentoherdesk.Don’tmindme,shewantedtotellthem.Let’shearit.

Clairerealizedshewasitchingforconfrontation.Sheknewherselfwellenoughtoknowthatifshe

didn’tunloadeverythingthatwasonherchestsoon,shewasgoingtoblowup—andthatwasneverpretty.
Especiallynotwhensheendedupblowingupatthepersonwhodidn’tdoanythingwrongbutwasjustin
thewrongplaceatthewrongtime.

“Dowson,myoffice.”Lieutenant'svoicesnappedheroutofit,andshegotupbeforeshefully

registeredwhatwasgoingon,droppingherbagonthefloorandearningherselfafewlaughsfromthe
squad.

Shepushedherbagfurtherunderherdeskwithoutawordandfollowedthelieutenanttohisoffice.
“Closethedoor,”hetoldherbeforegesturingforhertositdown.Thenhestaredatherforalong

moment,asifsizingherup,andClairecouldfeelherselfgettingmoretensewitheverypassingsecond.

“Ihavetosay,Idon’tunderstandyou,Dowson,”hefinallysaidashesatbackinhischair.“You

submitthedamnpaperworkforatransfer,hell,youhavealegtostandonbecauseyou’readecent
detective.Andthenwhatdoyoudo?Youruntoyourdaddybecauseyougotimpatient.”

Clairewatchedhimshakehisheadasherbrainwastryingtocatchup.Callingheradecent

detectivewasprobablyasclosetopraiseasthelieutenanthadevergottenwhenitcametoher.Butthen
therestregistered.

“No,sir,I—”
“Policecommissioner?”hecutin.“Imean,really?”
“Sir,Ihadnoideamyfatherwasgoingtodothat.Ididn’teven—”
“Saveit,Idon’tneedtohearit.”Hepushedafolderhehadinfrontofhiminherdirection.“Justfor

yourinformation,itcameinonFriday,”headdedwithagrimace.“Youonlyhadtowaittwomoredays.”

Sheopenedthefolder.
Transferpapers.ThesewerethetransferpaperstoMajorCrimes,signed,andaccepted,andthey

cameinonFriday.

Clairestaredatthefilesinherhands,andtherewasabubbleofhappinessinsideofherthatseemed

tobereadytoburstatanysecond.Sheforgotabouttheaccusations.Sheforgotaboutherfather.The
paperscameinonFriday,andshewastransferringtoherdreamposition.

Foramoment,everythingwasamazing.

Andthentherealitycamecrashingdown,andshelookedupatherlieutenant—soon-to-be-former

lieutenant.

“Sir,Iknowyoudon’tthinkhighlyofmenow,butIjust…Thankyou.Imeanit.”
Henoddedslowlyandthentiltedhisheadtowardsthedoor.“Youcangonow.”
Shesprangfromherseat.“Thankyou,sir.”
Clairewasabouttoopenthedoorwhenhespokeup.“Ifyoureallydidn’ttellhimtodowhathe

did,Iwouldsuggestyouraisealittlehell.”

Shefroze,hardlybelievingwhatshe’djustheard.Washereallygivingherthebenefitofthedoubt?

Orwasitjustthathedespisedherfathermorethanher?

Intheend,itdidn’tmattermuch.Whateveritwas,shewouldtakeit.
Shelookedbackatherboss.“Iintendto,sir.”
Shewalkedoutwithagrinonherface,clutchingthefoldertoherchest,butshepausedinplace

whenshenoticedhermothersittinginherchairandtalkingwithLori.

Itwaslikeadéjàvufromafewweeksbackwhenhermothersurprisedherattheprecincttotake

heroutforlunch,butthistime,Clairefeltaspikeofapprehension.She’dlearnedalongtimeagoto
separatehermomfromwhatherdaddid,butitwasn’talwayseasy.Clairefiguredshewouldnever
understandwhyhermothercontinuedtojusttolerateeverythinghedid,butshewishedthatsometimes—
sometimes—hermotherwouldtakeaclearstand.Not“Iwilltalktohim”,or“Youknowhowyourdad
is”,orwhateverelseshe’dsaywheneverheandClairewouldhaveanotherfight.

Clairedefinitelydidn’twanttohearanyexcusestoday.
Shewalkeduptoherdeskandansweredinkindwhenhermotherembracedher.
“Hi,Mom,”shesaid,puttingthefolderdownonthepileofsimilar-lookingfiles.Shewasgoingto

tellhermomaboutthetransfer,ofcourse,just…notyet.Notlikethis.“Ididn’texpecttoseeyou.”

Hermomnodded,glancingbetweenClaireandLori,andthenback.“Iknow,I’msorry,Ijust…I

wantedtotalktoyouforaminute.”Shemadeitsoundalmostlikeaquestion,asifsheknewClairemight
refuse.

Thethreecallsyouignoredyesterdaymight’vegivenherthisidea,thevoiceatthebackofher

headsuppliedhelpfully.

Claireswalloweddownasighandnoddedinstead.SheturnedtoLori.“I’llgograbmyselfanother

coffeefromdownthestreet,youwantsome?”

“Chailatte,please,andthankyou.”Loriwavedheroffwithaknowinglook.
“I’llberightback.”
Neithershenorhermothersaidanythingastheywalkedthroughthebullpen,andClaireonceagain

felteveryone’seyesonher.Shecouldalreadypicturehowthetalkingwouldstartthesecondthedoor
closedbehindher.

Hermompausedrightoutsidethebuildingandcaughtherhand,makingherstopaswell.“Claire,

I’m…I’mreally,reallysorryaboutyourfather.”

Claireclosedhereyesforamoment,tryingtoreininalltheemotionsshe’dbeentryingsohardto

control.Theapologeticwordsmadeacrackinthefaçade,and,damnit,sheneededtogetittogether.
Therewerecopsminglingallaroundthem.“Let’s—”notdothishere,Iworkhere,I’matwork,and
everyone’slookingatmenow,don’tyougetit—“Let’sgo.”

Itwasn’tuntiltheyweresittinginthecaféclosetotheprecinctthatClairelookedstraightather

mother.“HewentsofaroverthelineIcan’tevenseeitanymore,Mom.”

“Iknow,”hermothersaidquietly,circlingherhandsaroundhercupoftea.
Claireraisedhereyebrows.Thatwasunexpected.
“Whatthehellhasgottenintohim,then?”sheasked,shakingherhead.Shestillcouldn’tunderstand

it.“Heseemedfinewithmestayingoutofthecampaign.Hedidn’tevensayanything.Andthenthis?”

Hermotherstaredathernails.“Ihonestlydon’tknow.Ididn’tevenknowhewasgoingtogothere.

IswearIwould’ve—”

“Iknow,”Clairecutin,coveringhermother’swristwithherfingersandsqueezinglightly.“Iknow

youwould’vewarnedme.”

“Tobehonest,Ithinkitwasalastminutething.”Hermomshookherhead.“Hewouldn’thavedone

itifhetookmoretimetothinkaboutit.Andhewasn’tplanningitonFriday,either.Wehadameetingwith
ShawnFoster,andhedidn’tsayanythingaboutitwhenShawnaskedaboutourplansfortheweekend.”

Clairestilledatthat,evenasshecouldfeelherheartbeatsuddenlypickingup.“What?”
“I’mtellingyou,Idon’tknow—”
“No,ImeanttheShawnpart.”Sheswallowedagainsthersuddenlydrythroat.“You’resayinghe

didn’tknow?”Howwasthatpossible?

“Hedidn’tknowonFriday,andIdoubtyourfathercalledhimonSaturday.I’mprettysureShawn

wouldhavetriedtotalkhimoutofit.He’sbeenveryclearabouthowyourfathershouldbemore
selectiveabouthisoutingsand—”

Clairetunedhermotherout.Shawndidn’tknow.Shawndidn’tknow.Andthatmeant…Thatmeant

Natedidn’tknow,either,andshehadtreatedhimlike—“OhGod,”shewhispered,hidingherheadinher
handsasallthethingsshe’dhurledathimechoedinherbrain.

“Honey?”
Natedidn’tknow.Shehadaccusedhimoflying,ofbetrayingherintheworstpossibleway,andhe

didn’tknow.

Sheballedherhandsintofistsoverhereyesandtookadeepbreath.Shewasn’tgoingtocry,no

way.

“Honey,what’swrong?”Hermother’sfingerscurledaroundherforearm,andClairestraightenedin

herseat,droppingherhandsdownonherlap.

“Doyouknowhowdadfoundoutaboutmytransferrequest?”
Becausethatstilldidn’tmakesense.IfNatehadn’tknownabouttheparty,ifhewastellingthetruth,

thenhowhadherfatherlearnedaboutthis?Clairehadonlytoldtwopeople—LoriandNate,soifneither
ofthemsaidanything,whodid?

“Itoldhim.”
Shefrozeathermother’swhisperedwords.No,itwasimpossible.Shecouldn’thave,shedidn’t

evenknow,howcouldsheknow?

“What?”Claireasked,barelyaudible,butherthroathurtasifshe’dshoutedatthetopofherlungs

thewayshewantedto.

“Honey,ifIhadanyideawhathewould…”Hermotherpaused,facestricken.“I’msorry.WhenI

cametotheprecinctafewweeksago,youwerebusy,andIwassittingthereatyourdesk,andI…God,it
soundssostupidnow,butIguessIwascuriousaboutthekindofcasesyouworkon.Yourarelytalkabout
work,andIwasworried,soI…ItoldmyselfthatI’donlytakealookatonefolder.”Shesuckedinher
lowerlipandlookedaway.“Itwasn’tacasefile,though,butyourapplication.”

Clairestaredathermother,lostforwords.Sherememberedthatday—shehadbeeninahurrytoget

theinterrogationoverwith,andshehadn’thiddenthetransferpaperworkthewayshe’dusuallydone.
She’djusttosseditonthepilewhenthesuspect’slawyerhadshownup.

Andthatwaswherehermotherhadfoundit.
“Whydidn’tyousayanything?”Clairefinallyasked.Whydidyoutellhiminstead?
“Idon’tknow.Ifeltbadforsnooping,andthenIthoughtthatyoushouldtellmewhenyou’re

ready…”Hermothershookherhead.Clairecouldhearhervoicebreakingattheendbutshecouldn’t
musteranysympathynow.“Iwasn’tplanningontellingyourfather,butonenightweweretalkingabout
you,anditseemed…Yourfatherlistenedandaskedquestions,and…”

Anditseemedlikehecared.Clairecouldalmosthearit,evenifhermotherwouldneversayitlike

that.

“I’msorry.IfIhadknown…”
Youshould’veknown,Clairewantedtotellher.Screamather.Youshould’veknownbecausethisis

whoheis,whohealwayswillbe.Yougiveandhetakes,andheuseswhateverheneedsanddiscards
therest.

“Ihavetogo,”shesaidinstead,standingup.Sheneededtogetawayorshewouldn’tbeableto

swallowallofthis.Shewouldjustsayitallandnotcareaboutconsequences.

Shehurriedoutofthecaféandturnedrightoutonthestreetwhensheshould’veturnedleft.Shetook

offrunningthen,leavinghermother,thecafé,andtheprecinctbehindherwithoutlookingback.

CHAPTERSIXTEEN

Natewasthefirstonetoadmitthathewasspacingoutontheusualweeklycompanymeetingslash

Mondaylunchbreak,buthestraightenedinhisseatwhentheyheardtheentrydoorbeingopen,andAlicia
wentbacktothefoyertocheckwhoitwas.

HewasoutofhischairthesecondheheardClaire’svoice.
Shawntriedtostophim,butNatedidn’tlisten.Ifshewashere,hewanted—needed—toknowwhat

thatwasabout.

Whenhesawher,shelookedlikeshehadrunthroughtheentireManhattan.Herfacewasred,hair

stucktoherforehead,andshewastryingtocatchherbreath.

God,itwassogoodtoseeher.
“You’reallright?”heasked,steppingcloser.HecouldseeAliciaslinkingbackinthecornerofhis

eye,andhewassureShawnwaswatchingbehindhim—Dean,too,probably.ButNatedidn’tcare.Claire
washere.

“Canwe…Canwetalk?”Hervoicewasbreathless,andhereyeswereshiningwiththingsNate

didn’tknowhowtointerpret.Henoddedquicklyandgesturedhertohisoffice.

“Comeon.”
Hershouldersdroppedassheclosedhereyesforasecond,andthenshewasmoving.Hewentto

followwhenhefeltahandonhisshoulder.

HemetShawn’sworriedgazewhenheturned.
“Nate…”
“I’vegotthis.”HenoddedatDeanstandingintheirconferenceroom’sdoor.“Justcontinuewithout

me,andI’llcatchuplater.”

NatefollowedClairetohisoffice,andhefoundherbythewindow,staringatthecity.Heclosedthe

doorandsteppedcloser.

“What’swrong?”Becauseitwasobvioussomethinghadhappened.Thelasttimethey’dseeneach

otherhadseemedprettyfinaltoNate.

“Everything’swrong,”Clairesaidquietlyandranahandoverherhair.“Everything’s—”Sheturned

tohim,andtheylookedateachotheroverthespacebetweenthem.Itwasbarelyafewfeet,notmuch
morethanthelengthofthecouch,butNatewasn’tsurewhattheruleswereanymore.Wherethelines
weredrawn.“IwanttogotomyfatherandtellhimwhatIthinkofhim,andthenrepeatallofitonTV.”

Herfingerscurledintofistssheputagainstherstomach,andNatewantednothingmorethantowalk

uptoherandputherhandsinhis.

“Iwanthimtoseehowitfeelslike,like…”Sheclosedhereyesandbitherlowerlip.“Ihatethat

hejustdoesn’tcare,”shewhispered.

Natecrossedtheroominasecondandpulledheragainsthischest.“I’msorry,”hemurmuredinto

herhair.RichardDowsonhadseemedlikeaniceenoughman,notabadmayor,andhell,hemighteven
makeadecentsenatoroneday.Buthewasdefinitelyashittyfather.“I’msorry.”

Claireslumpedintothehug,andherbodyshookwhenshecircledherarmsaroundhiswaist.
Theystoodlikethatforthelongesttime,andNatecouldfeelhimselfrelaxinginresponsetoher

closeness.Ithadn’tevenbeentwodays,butitseemedmuchlongersincethey’dlastbeentogether,andhe
didn’tknowwhattodowiththat.

Thenshefrozeandpulledback,andNateforcedhimselftodrophisarmsfromaroundher.
“God,I’msosorry,”Clairesaid,lookingupathim.“I’m…IjusthadtogetawaybeforeImadea

publicscene,andIran.AndIcamehere,andGod,I’msorry.I’msorryforjustbarginginlikethis,I’m
sorryforwhatIsaidaftertheparty,I’m…”Shecrossedherarmsoverherstomachandlookeddown.
“Youdidn’tdeserveanyofthis.I’msorry.”

Natenodded,tryingtofigureoutwhattosay.
“Youdon’thavetoapologizeforcominghere.I’mgladyou’rehere.”I’mgladIcanbetheperson

youturnto.“Ireallyam.”

“Iaccusedyouofthingsyoudidn’tdo,andIdidn’twanttolisten.”Shemethisgazeagain.“Ihurt

you.”

“Iknow,Iwasthere.”
Thewordsslippedoutofhimbeforehecouldstopthem,andhegrimaced.“Sorry,”hemurmured,

rubbingthebaseofhisnose.

Thesilencewasmoreandmorestiflingwitheachpassingsecond,andfuckit,Natewasnotgoingto

justletitallgo.HewasintoodeepnowtowatchClairejustwalkawaybecausehegothurt.

“Let’ssitdownandtalk,okay?”
Hereyeswidenedasifitwasn’twhatsheexpected,butshesatdownattheedgeofthecouch,and

afterquicklyconsideringanddiscardingthearmchairontheothersideofthecoffeetable,Natesatnextto
her.

“Idon’tknowwherewewouldevenstart,”shesaidbutstillturnedsoshecouldfacehim.
Andthethingwas,Natedidn’t,either.Hefeltwrong-footed,outofhisgame.Hewasafixer,he

handledcrisesforaliving,andnowhecouldn’tevenfigureoutarightwaytohavethisconversation.

“Whatchangedyourmind?”heasked,andyeah,heprobablyshouldn’thavestartedthere,butitwas

thequestionhekeptcomingbackto.Ithadbeenwhathurthimthemost,thecertaintywithwhichshe’d
thrownheraccusationsathimthatnight.Whatcouldpossiblyturnheraround?

Clairerestedherelbowsonherthighs,leaningforward.“Itwasmymom.”
Nateraisedhiseyebrows.“Yourmomchangedyourmind?”HehadseenBarbaraDowsontwice,

andshemight’velikedhim,buttodefendhimtoherdaughterlikethat?Thatseemedodd.

“Itwasmymomwhotoldhim.She…Shefoundmytransferrequestoncewhenshewasvisitingme

attheprecinct.”Claireshookherheadlikeshehadtroublebelievingwhatshewassaying.“Shedidn’t
sayanythingtomeaboutit,butsheapparentlythoughtitwouldbeagoodideatotellmyfather.”

Wow.Thatbackfiredprettyspectacularly.NatehadmetalotofwomenlikeBarbaraDowsonover

theyears—committedtotheirhusbands,eitherblindtotheirfaultsorusedtothem.Thesewerethe
womenwho,ononehand,learnedhowtonavigatethroughsomestorms,butontheother,couldstillbe
completelysurprisedbytheicebergstheyshould’veseencoming.

“Shecametotellmethistoday—Imean,this,andthatshehadnoideawhatmyfatherwas

planning.”Clairestaredatherclaspedhands.“ShealsotoldmeShawndidn’tknow,either.I’m…”She
lookedhimstraightintheeyes.“I’msorryIdidn’tbelieveyou.Ishould’velistenedtoyou.”

Natenodded.“Yeah,youshould’ve,”hesaidquietly,glancingdownatherclaspedhandsaswell.If

she’djustlistenedtohim…

Butheknew,deepdown,thatitwaseasiersaidthandone.Becausewhilehe’dmetmanywomen

likeBarbara,he’dalsometquiteafewlikeClaire—strugglingtotrustanyone,almostexpectingtobelet
down.

Ithurttobeonthereceivingendofthat,hecouldn’tdenythat,butintheend,heunderstoodhowit

worked.Andnomatterhowhewisheditwasdifferent,lessthantwomonthsofdatingNatewerenothing
comparedtothirtyyearsofdealingwithafatherlikeRichardDowson.

Clairebitherlowerlipagain.“Iunderstandifyoudon’twanttoseemeagain—”
“Iwantto,”Natecutin,reachingoutandcoveringherhandswithhis.This,hewassureof.They

hadthingstoworkon,andthehurtdidn’tjustdisappearinasecond,butaboveall,hewantedthis.He
wantedher.Therewerethingsbubblinginsideofhimthathehadtoswallowdownbecauseitwastoo
earlytosaythem,butthishecouldeasilyadmit.“Iwantto.”

Shepushedforwardandkissedhim,anditwasprobablytheworstkissthey’devershared—the

anglewasallwrong,andshesmashedtheirlipstogethertoohard—butNatedidn’tcare.Itwaseasyto
readjust,andthenitwasasgoodasitalwayswas.Hermouthopenedwhenhelickedoverherlips,and
shecradledhisfaceinherhandscarefully,teasinghisskinwithlightbrushesofherfingertips.Hepulled
hercloserasheleanedbackagainstthecouchcushions,andshefollowedwithouthesitation,slidinghalf-
overhim,herbodyfittingperfectlyagainsthis.

TheypausedtocatchabreathatsomepointandClaireleftalineofkissesoverhischeek,pausing

withherlipsnexttothecornerofhiseye.“Iamtrulysorry,”shewhispered,herfingersdistractinghimas
shewasrunningthemupanddownthenapeofhisneck.“Youwerenothingifnotsupportive,andI—”

“Iforgiveyou.”Hetwistedhisheadsohecouldkissherneck.Itwastheeasiestthingtodo,really.

Hedidn’twanttoholdagrudge,didn’twanttofightanymore.Shewashere,closeandlookingathimas
ifhewassomethingspecial.Itwasmorethanenough.

Therest,theywouldgetbetterat.
Shekissedhimagain,anditwasslowand…safe,fromthelackofabetterword—likeapromiseof

athousandkissesmore.

Whentheybrokeapartthistime,shesnuggledagainsthisside,curlingherlegsunderher.
“Iamtemptedtosmearhiminthemedia,youknow,”sheadmittedquietlyafterawhile.
Natestilledhisfingershewasrunningupanddownherarm.Hemadeanon-committalsoundand

startedthemotionagain,notsurewhereshewasgoingwiththis.Wassheseriouslyconsideringthis,or
wasitsomekindofatest?

“DeepdownIknowit’snotgoingtoaccomplishanything,”shewenton,“butIjust…Iblewupat

youandhurtyou,Ialmostblewup,inpublic,atmymother,who,I’mprettysure,nowfeelspersonally
responsibleforSaturday,andhejust…Hedoesn’tsufferatall.”

“Well,I’mnotsosure.Shawnlookedreadytodosomeseriousdamageafterhefoundout.”
Clairesnortedandliftedherheadtolookathim.“SomehowIdon’tthinkI’monShawn’sgoodside

now.Heisn’tgoingtofightmybattles.”

“Oh,hewon’tdoitforyou,he’lldoitbecauseyourfather’shisclient,andhedidatremendously

stupidthingwithoutconsultinghim.”

“Itwasprettystupid,”Claireagreedwithasighandthenburrowedintohissideagain.“Iwishthis

wholeweekenddidn’thappen.”

Natesighed.“Yeah.Although…Ididlikeyouinthatdress.”
HesmiledwhenClaireletoutashort,waterylaugh.
“I’llrememberthat.”
“Pleasedo.”
Natecouldfeelhimselfrelaxingfurtherintothecushions.Itwassoeasy,beingbackintunewith

eachother,thatithardlyseemedrealthatanhourearlierhe’dthoughttheywereover.

Claire’sphonebeepedinherpocket,andshewhinedinprotestevenasshewaspullingitout.
“AtextfromLori.She’scoveringformefornow.”Shesighed,tappinganansweronthephone.“I

shouldgobacksoon,though.”

Nate’sarmtightenedaroundherforasecondbeforeherelaxedhisgrip.Itwasstupid.Ofcourseshe

hadtogo.Hehadworktodoaswell.

“Idon’twanttoleave,”shemumbledagainsthisneck,voicinghisthoughtsoutloud.
“Whataboutdinnertonight,huh?”hesuggestedbeforerubbinghischeekoverthetopofherhead.

“Wecouldgooutororderin,whateveryouwant.”

Shepulledbackandsatup.“Great.Comeovertomyplace?Ihaveenoughofgoingoutfornow.”
“Sure.”Heleanedinforanotherkiss.“It’sadate.”
HecamesoclosetolosingClaireforgood,butnowthathehadherback?Hewasneverlettinggo.

CHAPTERSEVENTEEN

Clairestaredatherselfinthemirrorandwonderedifitwassuchagoodideaafterall.Shealmost

managedtotalkherselfoutofitandintochanging,butthentheintercombuzzed.

“Toolate,”shemutteredtoherself,runningherhandsoverherhipsforthehundredthtime.
AsshewaitedforNatetocomeup,shethrewonelastlookaround.Shehadwastedtoomuchtime

overthinkingthedressinsteadofcleaning,butitwasn’tbad.

Theknockonthedoormadeherheartspeedup,andsheshookherheadatherself.Don’tbackaway

now,Dowson.

Sheopenedthedoorandleanedagainstit.“Hello,there.”
Nate’sstunnedexpressionwasagoodenoughsign,butsincesheusedmostofhercourageearlierin

thedayassheranlikeacrazypersontoseehim,nowshefeltlikeshehadtoexplainherself.

“Yousaidyoulikedthedress,soIthoughtwecouldhaveado-over.”Shelickedherlowerlip.

“Pretendlikewe’rejustcomingbackfromtheparty?”

“Damn,you’rejust…”
WhateverNatewasabouttosay,heabandonedittopushherbackintotheapartment,closethedoor,

andpullhercloseasheleanedagainstit.

“Toohotforyourowngood,”shethoughtsheheardhimsay,butshewasn’tsuresincehishands

wereeverywhere,andhewaskissingdownherneck,rubbinghisstubbleagainsthersensitiveskin,and—

“Oh,fuck.”
Hereversedtheirposition,andnowshewastheoneagainstthedoor.Hecuppedherbreastsandran

histhumbsovertheedgesofthedress.“AsmuchasIdoenjoyseeingyouinthatdress,”hewhispered,
pullingbackabittolookdownather,“I’mgoingtoenjoygettingyououtofitmore.Butfirst…”

Shethrewherheadbackwhenhedroppedtohisknees.God,yes.
Claireexpectedhimtogetrightintoit,buthedidn’t.Hecircledherankleswithhisfingersbefore

slowlymovinghishandsup.Shetriedtomakehimgofaster,wideningherstanceandpushingherhips
forward,buthejustshookhisheadwhenshelookeddown.

“Patience,”hetoldherwithasmirkasheranhisfingertipsoverthebackofherknees,makingher

legsbuckle.Shedidn’tevenknowshewassosensitivethere,damnit.

Finally,finally,hebroughtonehandupbetweenherthighs,pullingherdressup.Claireinhaled

sharplywhenheranhisthumboverherpanties,thenshemoanedwhenherubbeditoverherclit.

“Comeon,”shepleadedasshepushedbackagainsthistouch,tryingtochasethepleasure,buthe

withdrewhishand.

Shewasjustabouttoprotestwhenhegrabbedherpantiesandpulledthemdownandoffofher.She

shivered.Shewasnakedfromthewaistdown,exposedtothemaninfrontofherwhodidn’teventakeoff
hisjacket.Andwholookedatherlikehewantedtodevourherbutwasn’tsurewheretostart.

“Openup,darling,”hesaid,closeenoughtowhereshewantedhimthatshecouldfeelthewarmthof

hisbreathonherskin.

Shespreadherlegswiderandhesmiledatheronemoretimebeforeleaninginandfittinghis

tonguerightbetweenherfolds.Shemoaned,claspingherfingersharderoverthematerialofherdress.
Thehot,slickmovesofhistonguebuiltupherpleasure,takingherhigherandhigher.Whenevershewas
almostthere,hewouldpullbacktolickovertheoutersidesofherlabia,onlytoseekoutherclitonce
againwhenshesettledabit,andtopushherclosetotheedgeonemoretime.

Whenhefinallylethercome,herthighsshooksohardhehadtograbherhipssoshewouldn’tfall.

Thepleasureseemedtopulseinsideherintimewithherfastheartbeat,slowlyfallingintothebackground
andwearingoffasherbreathingwentbacktonormal.

Hebrushedhisnosebackandforthagainsttheskinrightunderherstomach,andshefeltlike

burstingintotears.

“Comehere,”shetoldhim,tuggingathisneckandpullinghimintoakisswhenherosetohisfeet.

Shecouldtasteherselfonhistongue,buthewasthere,too—umpteenthcoffeeoftheday,thesweet
aftertasteofthecherrygumhesometimeslikedtochew,andwhateverelseitwastomakekissinghim
unlikeanythingelseshe’dexperienced.

Andshe’dalmostlosthim.Thatthoughtstillpunchedthebreathoutofher—thepossibilityofnot

havinghiminherlifeandtheresponsibilityofbeingtheonewhoalmostdrovehimaway.

Iloveyou,shewantedtosay,butpusheditbackforanothertime.Theyhadthisfornow—being

backtogether,beingcloseonceagain.Everythingelsemightcomelater.

Wouldcomelater.Clairewasgoingtomakesureofthat.
Whenhepulledbackfromthekiss,Natelookedatherforalongmomentbeforebrushingthehair

offherface.

“Iloveyou,”hesaid,andthebreathcaughtinClaire’sthroat.Maybeshecouldgetthat‘everything

else’rightawayafterall.

Thewordsweren’teasytogetout,andsheclutchedatNate’ssidesnotknowingifshewastryingto

keepthemorherselftogether.Maybeboth.

“Iloveyou,too.”
Naterestedhisforeheadagainsthersandsmiledinthatsoftwayshehadonlyseenafewtimes

before.“Good,”hewhispered.“That’sgood.”

SomethingwastremblinginsideClaire’schest,andfinallythelaughterspilledoutofher,breathless

andloud.

“Yeah,it’sprettyneat.”

EPILOGUE

Afewmonthslater

Clairestretchedherlegstorestthemonthecoffeetableasshetuckedtheblanketoverherbody.She

wasinhermostcomfypajamas,shehadaglassofwinebyherside,andtherewasasoundofpopcorn
seedsgoingoffinthemicrowave.

Oh,andtherewasalsoahotguyinthekitchenwhowasmakingsaidpopcornsoshewouldn’thave

tomoveawayfromthecouch.

Shelovedherlife.
Asecondlater,sheheardamovementbehindher,andinthenextmomentbig,stronghandsranalong

hershoulders,backandforth,massaginglightly,beforeslippingdown.

Natecuppedherbreaststhroughherpajamatop.“Hellothere.”
Shesnorted,butreacheduptocatchoneofhishandsinhers.Sheintendedtokisshisfingers,maybe

teasehimalittle.

Themicrowavebeepedloudlytoletthemknowitwasdone.Nategrumbledrightaboveherhead

butpulledbackandheadedtothekitchen.

“Didyoudecidewhatwe’regoingtowatch?”heasked.
Theywerehavingamovienightandpretendingitwasn’talsotheelectionnightduringwhichher

fathermightwinhimselfaSenateseat.

Clairecouldn’tcareless.Shehadn’tspokentoherfathersincethePoliceCommissioner’sBall,and

asfarasshewasconcerned,theirrelationshipwasover.Shehadn’tgonetothemedia,shehadn’teven
gonetoconfronthiminperson.Shewasdoneand,finally,shetrulydidn’tcareaboutwhathedidor
didn’tdo.Shewasn’tgoingtowasteanymoretimeonhim,andshedefinitelywasn’tgoingtowatchthe
electioncoverage.

“Here,”Natesaid,handingherthebigbowlofpopcornbeforesittingdownnexttoherandputting

hisarmonthetopofthecushionbehindherhead.

Sheburrowedclosertohimandgrabbedahandfulofpopcorn.“Well,Iheardyousaytheotherday

thatit’sbeeneternitysinceyou’velastwatchedTheFellowshipoftheRing.”

“Oh,God,Iloveyou.”
Natealmostupendedthebowlonhislapinhishastetograbtheremote.
Clairelookedupathim,watchinghisbigsmilethatmadehimlooktenyearsyounger.“Iloveyou,

too,”shesaid.Itwaseasythesedays,aneverydaything.Formonthsnow,shehadn’tfeltasifshewas
riskinganythingsayingthosewords.

Natekissedheronthesideofherhead,andshesmiled.Nowhereintheworldshefeltassafeas

rightthere.

THEEND

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Document Outline

By Your Rules
About This Book
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Epilogue
About The Author
Copyright

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