A Risk Worth Taking

For Rachel Fichman, Deborah Guggenheim,

Lyn Lucas, and Judy Peddle

and my incredibly supportive critique group,

Jan Irving, Laurie, Mickie, Lyn, Tena,

Viv, Jenn, Marina, and Steph,

with my deepest gratitude.

A Risk Worth Taking | Carolyn LeVine Topol

Chapter 1

loud, high-pitched wail of Jack’s alarm woke him from a

sound sleep.

“Damn! Best dream of my life and—” Rolling over, Jack

spotted him.

Big blue eyes stared back at him.

“You’re here.”

Rick nodded, a sheepish smile crossing his face. “All

night.”

Jack brushed his hand over his face. It hadn’t been a

dream. Rick was in his bed. “You left your wife for good?”

“Yes.” Rick’s hand ventured out from under the light

summer blanket. He tenderly ghosted his fingers over Jack’s
exposed shoulder.

“Do you need to be at work early?”

“I usually work out at the gym before I go into the office.

What about you?”

“Same here.” Damn. A workout at Healthy Obsession

was how this all started—how Jack found his Rick. “But I
can enjoy my workout in a different way if you’re willing to
forgo the gym for today.”

Jack watched the blush creep up Rick’s cheeks. After all

they’d done the night before, he was pleasantly surprised by
the sweet reaction. “You amaze me.”

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“Why?”

“You haven’t been with a man in ten fucking years, but

you’re a natural.”

“It’s right with you.”

Jack nodded, unable to speak. Sweeping Rick’s hair off

his  forehead,  Jack  began  to  caress  his  lover.  He  slowly
pressed  his  lips  to  Rick’s  sculpted  arm  muscles  and  moved
up,  one  kiss  at  a  time,  trying  to  prolong  each  taste,  sating
his hunger for this beautiful man.

Inviting more as Jack neared his neck, Rick leaned back

on the pillow, closing his eyes and moaning in response to
the soft ministrations.

Jack couldn’t get enough of this man. Tossing back the

blanket, Jack straddled Rick. Leaning down, he sucked and
licked each erect nipple. When he felt Rick’s stiffened cock
pressing against him, he knew it was time.

“I want to be inside you.”

Rick bit his lip and nodded. “I want that too.”

Jack reached to his nightstand and grabbed the lube.

He’d used it much more than he’d planned the night before—
not  on  the  solitary  hand  job  he’d  resigned  himself  to  before
Rick’s  surprise  appearance  at  his  door,  but  with  Rick  in  so
many  satisfying  and  varied  ways…  but  not  this  most
intimate one.

Warming the liquid between his fingers, Jack longed to

feel completely connected to the man beneath him. His man.

Rick gripped Jack’s arms, digging his nails into his skin

as Jack opened him for the first time. “Oh God! It feels—”

Smiling at the reaction, Jack continued to work Rick’s

opening, wanting to ensure he was ready to accept him

A Risk Worth Taking | Carolyn LeVine Topol

completely and make it as pain-free as possible. It had never
mattered before, but it did now. Jack wanted Rick to love
this—to love being with him—to love him.

Rick’s eyes, darkened with desire, followed Jack’s

movements as he grabbed a condom and ripped open the
package. Responding to the tear of the wrapper, Rick began
to move beneath Jack.

“Wait. It’ll get better when I’m inside you.”

Rick smiled, beads of sweat forming on his forehead.

Repositioning himself between Rick’s legs, Jack nudged

the firm limbs upward. Feeling Rick linking his ankles
behind his back, Jack’s desire increased, knowing they
would soon be one.

He had waited so long to find Mr. Right, and he’d found

the best—the only man for him.

Jack pressed slowly inside, his cock hard, needy, and

filled  with  desire.  He’d  done  this  so  many  times  before,  but
this  time  it  was  so  much  more.  This  was  deeper  and  more
powerful  than  anything  he’d  felt  before—nothing  like  so
many of the nameless, meaningless tricks in his past.

“Fuck. You’re so hot, waiting for me, wanting me… as

much as I want you.”

Pushing in all the way, Jack stilled to regain his control.

He didn’t want this to end too soon.

Arching his back, Rick squeezed his eyes tightly shut.

“Ah!”

Jack kissed him, opening him up with his tongue,

wanting to be inside, joining with him, in every way possible.
The two tasted and shared each other hungrily, unable to
quell the urgency.

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Beginning to move, Jack relished the warmth, and when

he nudged Rick’s prostate, the larger man moaned.

“Jack.” Rick joined the rhythm, speeding up the pace.

The two rocked together as one. Jack could feel the heat

building and knew he wouldn’t last—couldn’t last.

Lost in sensations he’d never experienced before, Jack

couldn’t  hold  on  any  longer.  He  reached  between  them  to
stroke  Rick,  offering  relief  to  his  gentle  giant,  who  clung
tightly,  breathing  heavily.  As  Jack  touched  the  long,
reddened member, Rick arched one last time.

“Fuck!” Streams of milky liquid marked them both.

Jack gripped his lover, thrusting one last time and

stilling as he filled the condom, shuddering through the
intense orgasm.

Collapsing onto Rick, Jack returned the strong embrace,

unable and unwilling to move.

As their breathing slowed, Jack pulled out carefully,

tossing the condom off the side of the bed.

He looked at the man beneath, and alarm set in. Wiping

stray tears from Rick’s cheeks, Jack worried. “I’m so sorry.
Did I hurt you? I—”

Rick turned away. “No.” He choked. “I’ve never… you

are… damn.”

“You’ve never?” Jack knew Rick had been with a couple

of young men during his college days, but it hadn’t occurred
to him that he’d never truly been taken.

“I feel like the fairy faggot my wife says I am.”

“You’re beautiful. And I don’t mean just your hot body.

All of you, inside and out—you’re amazing.”

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The two embraced. Rick’s shoulders shook as he nestled

his face into Jack’s neck. Jack allowed the privacy he needed
and held him, never wanting to let go.

“It’s never felt like this for me. You’re mine, and I don’t

want that to ever change.”

Rick nodded into the crook of Jack’s shoulder and

whispered, “I am yours.”

They pulled back, gazing into each other’s eyes, and

Rick continued, “I need you. Please need me too.”

Tucking a short tuft of matted hair behind Rick’s ear,

Jack nodded. “I need you more than you can ever imagine.”

The two lay in their fierce embrace, tenderly kissing,

unwilling to break their bond.

EELING

embarrassed by his earlier display, Rick wiped at

the dried tears on his face. “You must think I’m such a—”

“I think you’re the most incredible person I’ve ever met.

You look like a fucking Greek god, and you have an
endearing and sensitive nature.” Jack’s sweet smile gave
Rick license to relax, the tension falling away.

“Having you inside me, holding me—I don’t know if I can

ever leave this bed or let you go. It would hurt too much.”

“We’ll have plenty of time to give our bed a workout.”

Rick chuckled as Jack’s eyes widened, realizing what

he’d just said. “Our bed.” Rick rubbed his hands over Jack’s
smooth back. “Is that what this is now?”

The edges of Jack’s lips curled upward, and he tenderly

pressed their lips together.

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“I bet this bed has had a lot of action over the years.”

Rick bit his lip, hoping he didn’t sound as jealous as he felt.

Drawing Rick in to rest his head on his chest, Jack

began to run his fingers through Rick’s hair. “If you’d like,
we can buy a new bed, but no matter what, I’ll be happy to
shut the door to all but you.”

“Can you do that?” Rick suddenly felt vulnerable, but he

knew Jack was a player—a trick-a-night man—and he
wondered if he could give that up.

“I want to, with you—for you.”

Rick held Jack tight, hoping he could really commit to

one person.

ENSING

Rick’s fear for their future, Jack didn’t want to

continue making promises. He would have to demonstrate
his desire to meet Rick’s needs as well as his own.

“I think we’d better get into the shower. After last night

and this morning, both of us are far too ripe for work.”

Rick laughed out loud. It was a rich, uplifting sound.

“Okay. Do you want to go first or should I?”

Jack raised an eyebrow and looked directly at Rick. “I

say we conserve water and go in together.”

Rick’s genuine smile returned as the two made their way

into the bathroom.

After cleaning and dressing for work, Jack prepared

coffee. “I don’t eat much for breakfast. I usually grab
something at the office after leaving the gym.” He opened the
refrigerator. “There’s some bread and a jar of mint jelly.”

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“Terrific. We can toast the bread and pretend it’s lamb,

then spread the mint jelly over the top.”

Jack smirked. “You seem to have acquired a sense of

humor to go with those muscles.”

“I’d like to think the sense of humor was always there.

Although I have to admit it’s been in hiding for a few years.”

“We’ll have to see what we can do to wake it up.” Jack

paused, trying to organize his thoughts. “Do you still want to
move in?”

Rick stared blankly.

“I mean, I know you left your wife, but I don’t want to

push you into something you’re not ready for.”

“I can find a place on my own if you—” Rick’s voice

hitched.

“I want you here. Stay… with me.”

“Okay.” Jack heard the breath of relief Rick exhaled

with his answer.

“You know, you might want to unpack a few things.

Except for what’s on your back and what you wore last
night, everything’s wrinkling in your suitcase.”

“I didn’t know where, or if….”

Jack took Rick by the hand and grabbed his suitcase

with the other. Leading him to the bedroom, he opened two
small panels of his wall-length closet and, using more force
than necessary, shoved his clothing together on the rack. “Is
that enough space to start?”

Rick grinned at the dramatic gesture. “That should do

just fine, for now.”

“I see a professional closet organizer in our future.”

A Risk Worth Taking | Carolyn LeVine Topol

Jack left Rick to hang up his clothing. He’d also quickly

pulled open a couple of drawers in the bureau, reorganizing
his belongings to give Rick space.

Looking toward the bedroom one last time, Jack licked

his lips, grinning briefly before thoughts of the future took
hold.

This wasn’t going to be easy. Rick had a divorce ahead

of him as well as coming out at work and to his family.
Individually, those concerns could overwhelm anyone, but
combined, they were a volcano ready to erupt.

Jack hoped they would be able to endure the

challenges, because he couldn’t imagine the alternative.

A Risk Worth Taking | Carolyn LeVine Topol

Chapter 2

drive into work was silent. Since both men worked in

the same office building, it made no sense for Rick to take
the T across the river from Cambridge to Boston.

Both dressed in suits, Rick was prepared for his day at

the accounting firm and Jack for his day of reading new
manuscripts and meeting with agents and authors.

“Hi. I see neither of you made it to Healthy Obsession

either. I overslept.”

Jack huffed, recognizing one of the executives from

Sutcliff  &  Simon,  the  publisher  he  worked  for.  All  the
associate  editors  had  been  strongly  encouraged  to  join  the
rooftop  health  club  as  soon  as  it  opened.  “Yeah,  I  overslept
too.”

“I didn’t know you two carpooled. No wonder you get

along so well at the gym—you already know each other. Wish
I had someone to share the gas.”

Jack nearly choked at his colleague’s choice of words.

“It’s great.” He ventured a nervous glance in Rick’s direction.
“Why don’t you just take the T into work? We’re not far from
the stop.”

“I know, but then I’d have to carry all my stuff. This way

it’s door-to-door service, and I never have to wait for the
train out in the cold.” The balding associate editor grinned.

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“Besides, what’s the point of having my own parking spot if I
don’t use it?”

Jack shrugged. “I’ll see you upstairs.” As his co-worker

disappeared into one of the garage’s elevators, Jack’s fake
smile disappeared. “Asshole.”

Rick snorted. “He seems to think we’re carpool buddies.”

“Well, he sure doesn’t think we’re fuck buddies.” I hope.

Seeing Rick step back at the use of the term, Jack

moved  closer.  “You  know  that’s  not  what  we  are—I  meant
he’s  the  type  who  would  probably  jump to  that  conclusion.”
Jack  scrubbed  his  hand  over  his  face.  “Shit!  How  do  you
want to handle all this?”

Rick looked down and toyed with the zipper on his

computer bag.

“I know you’re not out at the office, or most places, but I

am. Everyone who knows me is aware I’m gay.” Jack reached
out to hold Rick’s hand but pulled back quickly so as not to
draw undue attention to his closeted lover.

Rick’s smile began to return. He took Jack’s hand and

leaned against the car. “No, I’m not out at work… yet.”
Lacing their fingers, Rick squeezed Jack’s hand. “I don’t
want us to be fuck buddies. I want more—much more. How
do I do this? How do we do this? Help me.”

Jack gazed into Rick’s eyes. No matter how many red

flags waved before him screaming, “Proceed with caution,
this isn’t going to be easy,” Jack was unable to turn away.
He’d finally fallen in love, and nothing was going to stop him
from making it work.

Squeezing Rick’s hand back, Jack looked around.

Seeing no one, he quickly kissed him on the lips. “I’m not

A Risk Worth Taking | Carolyn LeVine Topol

sure how to help you come out, but I do think I know where,
or rather who, can help. I’ll try to set something up for after
work.”

“I’ll meet you at the car at six.”

Jack nodded. “I won’t call you unless I have to work

late.”

“Okay. You have my cell number.” Rick brushed his

hand over Jack’s arm. “Use it anytime.”

“If I call while you’re at work….”

“Someone might find out—I know. But I won’t stifle

you… us.”

“Damn!”

“What? Did I say something wrong?”

Jack smiled and risked one more chaste kiss. “No.

Whenever  I  think  you  might  back  off,  decide  you  can’t  do
this,  can’t  come  out  to  the  whole  fucking  world,  you  say  or
do something that shows me just how strong you really are—
and  I’m  not  talking  about  all  those  incredible  muscles
hidden under your pinstripe suit.”

Rick blushed, and Jack’s first thought was, He’s so

cute. Jesus, when did “cute” enter my vocabulary?

“Are you okay?” Rick’s voiced concern brought Jack

back from his confused thoughts.

“Oh yeah, I’m fine. Let’s get to work before we’re late and

have to figure out how to tell our bosses we were too busy….”

“Enjoying each other.”

“Nicely put—you should write a book.” Jack smirked.

Chuckling, Rick started to head for the elevators.

“Maybe if I hang around with you long enough, I will.”

A Risk Worth Taking | Carolyn LeVine Topol

ORK

proved to be a bigger challenge for Jack than he had

expected. Having been spotted in the garage by Mel or Clem,
or whatever the hell his name was, became a problem.

“Hi, Jack, how you doing?” Why was this asshole

coming to his office? They’d never shared more than three
words in the past, and now, with one brief meeting in the
parking area, he wanted to be friends… or something.

“I’m fine. Trying to work.” Jack waved his arms over the

stack of manuscripts piled neatly by subject matter on his
desk.

“They never stop coming in, do they?”

“Lucky for us. Otherwise we wouldn’t be in business.”

What’s-his-name walked further into the office and

closed the door.

“Is there something I can do for you?”

He nodded and took a seat on the opposite side of

Jack’s  desk.  “My  wife  approached  me  the  other  day  asking
when  I  expected  a  promotion.”  He  sat  forward  in  his  chair,
placing  his  clasped  hands  on  the  desktop,  marking  the
pristine glass overlay.

Sitting tall in his chair, Jack looked at Mel/Clem. “What

does that have to do with me? Shouldn’t you be talking to
Bruce—you know, our Editor-in-Chief?”

“Soon, perhaps. But first I want to make sure you

understand where I’m coming from.”

Jack remained silent.

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“I’ve been working for Sutcliff and Simon for twenty

years. The sign on my office door has read ‘Melvin Arnold,
Associate Editor’ for ten years.”

Jack began to feel beads of sweat forming on the back of

his neck, but he remained still.

“You’ve only been at this company for about ten years.”

“I see you’ve done your homework where I’m concerned.”

“More than you can imagine. Look, we all know

you’re….”

“Gay.”

“Yes. I also recognized Rick Monroe. His boss has done

my personal accounting for years. He’s a homophobic prick,
but he can crunch a number better than anyone.”

“So?” Jack refused to react, not wanting to reveal to the

asshole his impending sense of doom.

Mel stood up and began to pace. “Bruce has hinted to

all  of  us  that  he’s  looking  to  promote  someone  soon,
especially  now  that  old  man  Simon  is  retiring.  I  want  that
job,  and  the  way  I  see  it,  you’re  the  only  one  who  has  the
ability to steal it from me.”

There it was—the punch line finally delivered. “You want

me to step back from seeking a promotion to Editor, a
position I deserve more than you, because I’m gay?”

“No, I want you to back off so my accountant doesn’t

accidentally find out one of his employees is gay.”

Jack stood up from behind his desk, gripping the edge

so firmly his fingers began to redden. “Fuck you! Get the hell
out of my office, and don’t come back without an
appointment—my assistant can arrange one if you think it’s
needed.” Jack turned his back on the unwelcome intruder.

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“Suit yourself. Just remember, when the new position is

announced to everyone, you might want to think about what
may happen if you get the promotion that should be mine
and how it might impact on all of us, including those at
home.” Jack turned around, glaring. Mel winked and walked
out of the office.

Jack slowly resumed his seat. Damn! Were the two of

them so transparent that even this moron could detect their
connection as more than carpooling friends?

One thing was for sure: Jack wasn’t going to tell Rick

what had happened. The last thing he wanted was to add to
his lover’s already full dish of stress. He hoped Rick would
come out on his own before it was too late.

Jack was determined to help Rick become comfortable

in the world he was entering.

Pressing the intercom button, Jack barked into the

phone, “Grace, get me Steve on the phone—now!”

“Yes, sir. Are you all right?”

“Not really, but I’m going to work on getting better.”

“Okay, I’ll get Steve for you.”

Steve and Jack had been friends for ages. He and his

husband, Tom, might be able to—

Grace interrupted his thoughts. “He’s on line two.”

“Thanks.” Grabbing the phone, Jack pressed the correct

line. “Steve.”

“Hey, how are you after last night? I hated seeing you

leave the bar like that. Oh, by the way, I have news about
something Tom and I were talking about. We’re going to try
to—”

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“I’d love to hear all about you and your hubby, but let’s

meet at the pub tonight for dinner and drinks.”

“Well, it’s kind of short notice. I hope I can reach Tom at

work. Maybe he’s already taken something out for dinner.”

“I know it’s short notice, but I’ll have Rick with me.”

“Rick! The Rick? Are you and he… how?”

“Let’s say I wasn’t as lonely last night as I thought I’d

be.”

“You bet your ass we’ll meet you.”

“I had a feeling you’d agree. And before you ask, you

were right.”

“About what?”

“I’m totally fucked where Rick’s concerned—in more

ways than one.”

Steve laughed. “See you at seven.”

“Seven.” Jack hung up the phone, hoping the meeting

with Steve and Tom would help all of them without giving
away any office secrets and burdening Rick unnecessarily.

Pulling his cell phone out of his pocket, Jack quickly

pressed his new number one speed-dial. It went straight to
voice mail.

“Hi, it’s me. We have plans after work. Try not to be late.

See you at six—in the garage.”

A Risk Worth Taking | Carolyn LeVine Topol

Chapter 3

ICK

was waiting at the car when Jack approached. “I’m

glad you’re here.” Bypassing Rick, Jack immediately went to
the driver’s side, unlocked the doors, and climbed in.

Opening the passenger side door, Rick took his seat. “I

got your message. Is everything okay?”

“Fine. Everything’s fine.”

Jack’s curt answers worried Rick. He’d taken a huge

step, leaving his old lie of a life behind, deciding to be true to
himself—coming out and living as a gay man. Had he made a
mistake? Had Jack changed his mind? Was this a brief fling
on his part? “I didn’t mean to push you… crowd you. If you
don’t want me around all the time, I can find my own place.”

Pulling the car out of the garage, Jack didn’t respond.

He drove silently over the bridge into Cambridge and parked
in an empty warehouse lot.

“What are we doing here?” Rick couldn’t hide his

concern. It appeared Jack was withdrawing just when they
were beginning to create a life together.

Without saying a word, Jack removed his seatbelt and

unfastened Rick’s as well. Then he wrapped his arms around
Rick, crashing their lips together. Rick felt the urgency and
desire, his body responding instantly.

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The two men clung to one another, devouring each other

greedily, Jack’s onslaught becoming more intense as he
shoved his tongue into Rick’s welcoming mouth.

When they finally broke apart, Rick remained stunned,

his cock hard. “Fuck. That was….”

“Hot.”

“I was going to say ‘a surprise’. Your silence from the

time we left work was starting to freak me out.” Rick lowered
his head, embarrassed by his insecurity.

“I want you more than anything, but I won’t out you

because I can’t keep my damn hands or lips to myself.”

Rick nodded. He might not be as worldly or savvy as

Jack, but he wasn’t ignorant. Something had occurred
during the day. “What happened?”

“Nothing. What are you talking about?”

“Look, Jack, if we’re going to have any kind of

relationship, we have to be honest. If I learned anything from
my marriage to Fran, it was that the truth, no matter how
bad, is better than living a lie.”

Jack stared into Rick’s eyes and combed his fingers

through the larger man’s hair. Shivering at the gentle
contact, Rick took Jack’s other hand and caressed it between
his. “Tell me.”

“That asshole who stopped by the car this morning… do

you remember him?”

“Vaguely. I was concentrating more on you.”

Jack huffed. “Yeah, well, he noticed. He happens to be

one of the associate editors at my company, and your boss is
his accountant. They’ve known each other for years.”

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Rick knew he was missing something, so he remained

quiet, hoping Jack would continue to explain.

Rubbing his hand across his forehead, Jack leaned back

in his seat and closed his eyes. “I didn’t want to tell you, but
you’re right—lies screw everything up.”

Feeling his heart beat faster, Rick sensed this wasn’t

something minor.

“We’re both up for a big promotion, and if I back off, the

fucker won’t out you to your homophobic boss.” Jack took a
deep breath. “There, I said it, although I’m not sure either of
us can do anything.”

“

UCK

!” Rick’s anger was evident. He sat up tall in his seat

and faced Jack. “You have to go for the promotion. You’re
already an associate editor—does this mean the title ‘editor’
might be in your future?”

Admiring Rick’s stand, Jack ghosted his fingers over his

lover’s cheek. “It doesn’t matter. No one should be outed
before he’s ready. I’ll withdraw my name from consideration.”

Rick’s eyes widened. “No goddamn way! So what if that

jerk outs me—I’ll be fine.”

Jack snorted. “You won’t be fine. If your boss finds out

you’re not straight, he could fire you, and even worse, your
ex can use it against you.”

“We live in Massachusetts. The judges here won’t put up

with bigotry and intolerance.”

“Don’t be so sure. The people of the Great State of

Massachusetts tried to rid this state of same-sex marriage

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and managed to actually vote in a Republican for governor
not too long ago.”

“That didn’t last long.”

“We lucked out.” Jack tried to make it clear to Rick that

he didn’t want his entire world threatened. “You can’t risk
losing visitation with your kids… or your career—”

“If the rest of that sentence is ‘for me,’ then it’s too late.”

Rick leaned across the car’s center console and kissed Jack
chastely on the lips. “All I want is you, in a way I never
needed or wanted my wife. You and the kids are all that
matter, and I’ll fight for both.”

Jack tenderly placed his hands on Rick’s heated cheeks,

drawing him close, their lips uniting in a deep, passionate
kiss. “What am I gonna do with you? I… care about you so
damn much.”

“Good. Now take me where you were planning for the

evening… and don’t ever pull away from me again. I nearly
had a panic attack.”

Smiling, Jack started the car. Rick was so damn brave

despite all the possible scenarios his future held—none of
which seemed very bright. “You’re amazing.”

“You can tell me that tonight after we—” Rick cut off his

own sentence. Glancing in his direction, Jack couldn’t help
feel warm at seeing the blush blossom on his man.

During the drive to the pub, the two held hands,

needing the connection. Jack still wondered what he would
do about the promotion at work. He was still young, and
there would be plenty of time to climb the ladder.

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ACK

parked the car on the street, Rick spotted Jester’s.

“Interesting name.”

“The owner thought it would be better than Joker’s. He

thought it was classier and more intriguing.”

“Does he think his clientele are all a bunch of clowns?”

Jack nudged Rick’s shoulder as they strolled down the

sidewalk. “No, he thinks they all need a good laugh after a
long day at whatever the fuck they were doing.”

Rick nodded, a bit nervous about his first foray into

Jack’s world. “Is this where you go to, um, meet guys?”

“Yeah, but for some reason, tricking hasn’t been a

priority lately.” Smirking, Jack opened the door for Rick and
whispered, “Stop worrying.”

Rick wanted to relax, but instead he tensed further

when a hot guy with dark hair and eyes to match ran up to
Jack and planted a big kiss on his lips while giving him a
rather warm hug.

“It’s about time! Where the hell were you?”

Gesturing to Rick and himself, Jack rolled his lips

inward. “We had something to discuss, but we’re here now.”

Rick continued to glare at the intruder but remained

silent, hoping Jack would take the hint. Instead, Jack
started to laugh out loud.

“What the fuck is so funny?” Rick tried to keep his voice

down so as not to attract any more unwanted attention.

“You’re jealous!”

Watching Jack and his friend both laugh and pat each

other on the shoulder, Rick started to turn to leave, not

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knowing where he’d go—just away from this sea of men,
many of whom were probably Jack’s former tricks.

“Hey, wait up. I haven’t introduced you.”

“Why would you want me to meet one of your

conquests?”

Jack’s face immediately softened, and his laughter

ceased. “Is that what you thought? Shit! I’m sorry.”

Taking Rick’s hand in his, Jack directed him back into

the bar. “Rick Monroe, this is my oldest friend and most
definitely not a trick, Steve Kent.” Rick could feel his
shoulders relax. “And over at the table he’s holding for us is
Steve’s husband, Tom Kent.”

Rick looked at Steve, stunned by the revelation. “You’re

married?”

Steve shook Rick’s hand enthusiastically. “I am, and I

took my husband’s name to show we’re truly united in every
way.”

Rick squeezed Jack’s hand as they all made their way to

the table.

Tom stood up and offered his hand. “I’m Tom, Steve’s

husband. It’s great to meet you. I’ve heard a lot about you
through Steve.”

“You have?”

“Apparently you’ve dominated Jack’s thoughts entirely

from the moment he met you. He spent an inordinate
amount of time needing TLC from my husband to calm his
nerves.”

Rick grinned and brushed a hand over Jack’s shoulder.

“You talked about me?”

Jack bit his lip and nodded.

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“He couldn’t get you out of his mind even when he

thought you were straight or might want to stay in the hetero
world. It’s a good thing for all of us you came over to the
dark side.”

“Steve, shut the fuck up.”

“Hey, it’s good for Rick to know he’s not just one of a

million.”

Jack looked at Rick. “No, he’s definitely one in a

million.”

Steve chuckled. “And the only one for you.”

Rick noted the slight reddening that formed on Jack’s

cheeks and neck. It was good to hear how much Jack
wanted him.

“Listen, you guys, we need to talk to you about

something happening at work.” Jack looked at Tom. “I think
you might be able to help us, knowing what you went
through when you opened your closet door.”

Tom grimaced. “It wasn’t pretty, but I’ll never regret it.

Coming out gave me license to find Steve.”

Rick’s curiosity was piqued. “How did you come out?”

On the verge of answering, Steve interrupted. “Forget

about that for a minute. Tom and I have some big news.”

Tom put his arm around his husband. “We don’t have

big news yet. But hopefully we will soon.”

“Okay, okay, let me finish.”

Rick was amused at the antics of the couple. They sat

close  at  the  table  and  were  clearly  happy  to  be  in  each
other’s  life.    Risking  a  brief  look  in  Jack’s  direction,  Rick
warmed  at  the  smile  on  Jack’s  face  at  just  being  in  his

A Risk Worth Taking | Carolyn LeVine Topol

friends’ presence and wondered if he also had something to
do with his new lover’s demeanor.

Jack placed his hand on Rick’s thigh, resting it there

quite naturally. Rick subtly slipped his arm around Jack’s
shoulders and was pleasantly surprised when he leaned into
the touch, resting his head gently against Rick’s.

Still nestled against Rick, Jack looked across the table.

“So what are the two of you unsuccessfully trying to tell us?”

Steve blurted out, “We want to have a baby.”

Rick could have sworn he heard a glass or two drop

near the bar.

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Chapter 4

“

HAT

’

everyone so surprised about? We’ve been married

for two years. It’s about time.”

Jack snorted. “So which one of you will carry the kid?”

“Asshole.”

“My favorite home away from home.” Jack smirked as

Rick poked him in the ribs.

Tom intervened. “Look Jack, we all know you’re new to

the wonderful world of monogamy and commitment, but
Steve and I have been married for a while… and we’ve been
together for five years.”

Jack tried to rein in his sarcasm, but it escaped before

he could help himself. “Are you afraid your biological clock is
ticking too fast?”

Without blinking or appearing to take offense, Tom

continued, “Yes… in a way. We’re both over thirty, and we
want a family. If we wait too long, we’ll be too old to keep up
with a toddler.”

“I have two kids, both under ten. They sure have a lot of

energy.”

Jack stared at Rick. He had blocked out that the man

he was in—the man he cared so much for had children. This
wasn’t something he’d bargained for when it came to making

A Risk Worth Taking | Carolyn LeVine Topol

a commitment, and now he wondered how he’d rate as… oh
shit… a stepfather.

His hand still resting on Rick’s thigh, Jack felt Rick’s

warm palm cover it as he whispered, “Don’t worry, I have no
intention of seeking full-time physical custody of the kids.
They’ll be better off with Fran.”

Kissing Rick on the cheek, Jack thought about all his

lover was giving up and began to wonder if it might be too
much. Jack had always been selfish, and now he had to
share his life with someone else and his kids.

“Hey, Jack, stop the staring-into-each-other’s-eyes bit

and talk to us.” Steve rolled his eyes as Tom put his arm
around his husband.

“Sorry.” Jack sat up straighter. “I didn’t mean to rain on

your parental parade.” He took a moment to compose his
thoughts. “You may be surprised to hear this, but I’m really
happy for both of you. Do you know who the mother’s going
to be?”

“My sister agreed. Steve will be the biological father.”

That got Jack’s attention. “Wait a minute—when you

came out to your family, I thought you said they all slammed
the door in your face.”

Before Tom could answer, the waiter came over dressed

in a very tight fitting pair of black jeans and a matching wife
beater.

Jack looked the guy up and down and turned to Rick,

whose face had gone pale. “I’m looking, but my interest in
anything more is sitting right next to me.” He pulled Rick in
for a hot, lip-swelling kiss.

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When they finally broke apart, Rick chuckled. The

waiter was fanning himself, and Tom and Steve mimicked
their dining partners’ actions, lips locked in a heated union.

“This table is going to be my pleasure to serve—but

sadly, from the looks of you four, the only thing I’ll get to
serve is food and drinks. Damn, why are all the hottest ones
always taken… or straight?”

The two couples ordered before Tom explained his

sister’s change of heart.

“As you know, I came out right after I graduated from

college. I had a feeling my parents wouldn’t take it well and
wanted to make sure they’d continue to pay their part of my
tuition. It was selfish—”

“But necessary,” Steve interrupted, resting his head on

Tom’s

shoulder.

“You

couldn’t

have

finished

your

architecture degree on your own.”

Looking directly at Rick, Steve continued, “Tom works

for one of the foremost architectural firms in Boston. They
have some pretty huge clients.”

Tom snorted. “I appreciate the promo, but it’s not like

I’m so special.”

“I think you are.”

“That’s why I married you.”

Jack let out a fake cough. “Could you hold the mutual

admiration society meeting later? One of the reasons I
wanted you three to meet was so Rick could hear all the shit
Tom dealt with.” Jack sighed. “I want him to be prepared.”

Tom looked at Rick, his expression soft. Unlike Jack

and Steve, Tom could certainly empathize with the problems
that would be encountered by the new addition to their

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group. It was a relief to know Tom would be able to help
guide Rick through the minefield he faced.

“Have you come out to anyone?” Tom asked.

Rick huffed. “Just my ex-wife, although I’m pretty sure

if she was honest with herself she’d admit she had already
figured it out on her own.”

Nodding, Tom picked up the story where he’d left off.

“Anyway, after I was recruited by the firm I still work for, I
offered to make dinner for my family at my new apartment.”
Tom stared off, spots of moisture appearing in the corners of
his eyes.

Steve gently ran his fingers through the ends of Tom’s

hair.

“After they had finished singing the praises of their great

son, the successful genius with the brilliant career, I told
them I was gay. It would have been easier to slit my wrists—
that’s how it felt. Their reactions didn’t help.

“My father told me no son of his would… well, I won’t

going to go into detail. My mother followed him out the door
weeping and repeating over and over, ‘How could you do this
to us?’”

Rick leaned forward, placing his palms squarely on the

table. “But you didn’t do anything to them. You were just
telling them who you were… are.”

“Theoretically, that’s true. But in their minds, I’d

betrayed them.”

The waiter brought the drinks. As soon as he left, Tom

drank down nearly half his pint of stout. “My sisters were
both still in college, and our parents forbid them to have any
contact with their deranged son.”

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Jack took a deep breath. He knew the story, but it

always disturbed him. He’d been lucky. When he came out
as a teen, his parents were supportive. “So how did you get
back in touch with your sisters?”

Tom looked up, a sad, faraway expression crossing his

face. “Only one sister. The other still hasn’t been willing to
talk to me.

“While everyone in my family got an invitation to our

wedding,  only  one  person  responded—my  sister,  Connie.”
Everyone  at  the  table  remained  silent,  giving  Tom  the  time
he  needed  to  explain.  “She  didn’t  come  to  the  wedding,  but
she started to e-mail me, and we chatted.”

“Steve, why didn’t you tell me?”

Steve smiled at his friend. “It wasn’t my story to tell.

This is about Tom, and I won’t ever divulge anything about
him that he may consider too private to share.”

Jack took Rick’s hand and squeezed. Watching and

listening to Tom’s story, and realizing how important it was
that Steve kept his confidences, sent a strong message. Jack
thought he knew everything about Steve and Tom but
realized that part of having a lover—a partner—was so much
more.

Having been silent for much of the conversation, Rick

finally spoke. “Has anyone else come forward to reconnect—I
mean now that you and Connie are obviously close, since
she’s willing to carry your baby.”

Tom shook his head. “But I never lose hope.”

Leaning forward, Rick asked, “What about at work?”

“I’m out there, too, but not by choice. A co-worker outed

me. Fortunately, my boss had the attitude that as long as my

A Risk Worth Taking | Carolyn LeVine Topol

private life stayed out of the office—same rule as for his
entire staff—he didn’t care who I slept with.”

“Good thing for you I most definitely care who you sleep

with.” Steve chuckled, picking up his drink for a sip.

After their food arrived and everyone began to dig in,

Jack  paused,  placing  his  utensils  on  the  edge  of  his  plate.
“One of my goddamn colleagues, and I use the term for this
asshole  loosely,  figured  out  Rick’s  gay”—Jack  brushed  his
hand  over  Rick’s  back—“and  in  a  relationship,  because  he
saw  the  two  of  us  together.  The  fucker  wants  to  out  him  to
his  homophobic  boss  unless  I  agree  to  back  down  from  a
promotion we’re both up for.”

Steve’s face reddened. “You’ve been working your ass off

for years to become an editor!”

“Yeah, I know. But I don’t want to—”

Rick cut him off. “I think this is what being together is

all about. We’ll have to face what comes without letting each
other down.”

“I let good ole Mel catch us too close. It’s my fault.”

Cupping Jack’s face, Rick gave him a tender kiss. “It’s

my fault for being dishonest with everyone, including myself,
for so long. Maybe this was the shove I needed to move
forward.”

The foursome quietly began to eat. Jack was glad he’d

arranged to have Steve and Tom meet them. At least both he
and Rick would have some idea of what they were facing.

One thing was certain: Jack knew he couldn’t bear to let

Rick out of his life. Sitting next to him, along with his best
friend and his husband, seemed right—how it should be.
He’d found his Mr. Right; now it was a matter of figuring out

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how help him face all the tough shit ahead without it
destroying them.

Jack took a moment to view the patrons at Jester’s. He

spotted several he’d had sex with and a couple who looked
familiar, but he wasn’t sure. There were a few new faces—
young, eager, and horny. Jack’s lips curled up at the edges,
knowing a week ago he’d have taken any of them he wanted.
They always said yes. But tonight, looking was enough.

“Enjoying the atmosphere or planning for the future?”

Rick nudged Jack’s elbow and bit his lip.

“It’s a nice view—nothing more.”

Rick smiled and went back to his meal.

Relaxing, the four got to know each other better over

less distressing topics. As they were all finishing their third
pints of beer, Rick’s cell phone began to ring.

“Hello…. Why? Is this really necessary so soon?”

Jack looked at Steve and Tom, his concern escalating as

Rick’s face became more and more tense, lines forming on
his brow. As the conversation with the mystery caller
continued, Rick pinched the bridge of his nose.

“You’re overreacting. Let’s wait…. No, I don’t think we

have any specific plans for tomorrow afternoon…. That’s not
how we behave day and night!”

Jack snorted, guessing at the sexual reference in the

discussion and thinking he wouldn’t mind behaving that way
for an entire day with Rick.

“Fine, tomorrow at two…. I said we’ll be there, and we

will.” Rick snapped the phone shut and shoved it in his
pocket.

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Trying to lighten the darkness Rick’s conversation

brought over the table, Jack smirked. “Trouble, dear? Care
to share with your eager lover?”

Rick huffed. “Well, eager lover, or whatever the hell we

are, tomorrow you get the privilege of meeting Fran.”

“Your ex!”

“One and the same. She claims she wants to make sure

you’d be a suitable person to spend time with our kids after
the divorce and visitation agreements are settled. My guess
is she also wants to check out the man who took her place.”

“Shit!”

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Chapter 5

HEN

they returned to the apartment, Rick could tell Jack

was preoccupied with the prospect of meeting his ex-wife.

“Are you sure you still care to help me handle all the

baggage I’m bringing with me?” Rick looked out the window
at the view of the Charles River, sighed, and turned to face
Jack. “I’d understand if this was getting to be too much, too
soon.”

Jack unbuttoned his shirt, letting it hang loose, and

approached Rick. Circling behind him, he started to run his
hands up Rick’s back, resting them on his shoulders.
Reaching up, Jack pressed his lips to Rick’s neck.

Leaning into Jack’s tender caresses, Rick moaned softly.

“Jesus. When you’re this close, I….”

“You what?” Jack whispered as his tongue outlined

Rick’s earlobe.

“I can only see us. Everything else disappears.” Rick

turned slowly. Jack’s eyes were dark with desire.

“Good. We’re the only ones in the world right now.” Jack

quickly unfastened Rick’s shirt and slowly peeled it off,
running his hands over bare muscles.

Dropping his own shirt to the floor, Jack held Rick

close, their chests heaving in unison.

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“We need to talk.” Rick was finding it hard to speak, his

breathing shallow with his rising arousal. Reacting to Jack’s
every touch, Rick needed more—now. He immediately
opened his belt and pants, dropping them to the floor,
leaving only his briefs, now moist with anticipation.

“I love looking at you like this, undressed for me and

only me to see.” Jack licked his lips slowly.

Rick’s voice hitched. “Only for you. You brought me

back to life.”

As Jack reached for his own belt, Rick stilled his hands.

“Let me, please.”

Brushing the back of his hand over Rick’s, Jack guided

the larger man’s hands to his belt.

Rick slowly moved into a kneeling position, licking and

nipping his way down Jack’s smooth chest.

“Fuck! Seeing you this way. Knowing you’re here—”

Jack stumbled over his words, but Rick understood every
one.

On his knees, Rick stripped his lover the rest of the way

and remained there. In front of him was Jack’s long,
reddened cock. “Beautiful.” He looked up for approval. “I
want to… for you… for us.”

Jack’s eyes closed and his head fell back as he

entangled his fingers in Rick’s wavy hair. “Take me.”

Tentative in his first movements, wanting to please the

man  he  loved,  Rick  tenderly  manipulated  Jack’s  hanging
balls,  kissing  each  one  and  laving  them  slowly.  It  had  been
years  since  he’d  done  this,  and  he  hoped  he  could  satisfy
Jack—completely.

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Running his tongue up the length and around the

bulbous head, he heard, “More, want more.”

Feeling his confidence grow, Rick took the head into his

mouth, gripping Jack’s ass as he began to suck.

Hearing the escalating moans from above, Rick smiled,

knowing he was giving his man pleasure as he felt his own
cock responding to every sound.

Ready for everything, Rick wanted to taste Jack, have

him inside in every way. He sucked harder, and when Jack
was close, he dared to deep throat him, something he’d never
tried with anyone before.

“Fuck!”

Rick continued to suck and swallow the warm liquid as

it poured down his throat, licking the soft cock as it fell from
his lips.

Feeling Jack’s knees weaken, Rick carefully lowered him

to the floor, kissing him, sharing his taste as their tongues
met.

Pulling off his own briefs, Rick lay on top of Jack.

Pressing his stiffness to Jack’s leg, he began to thrust, his
hunger overwhelming. “Oh God, I need you, please.”

Jack immediately began to spread kisses over Rick’s

face and neck as he took the swollen, thick member in his
hand, spreading the drops of moisture as he guided Rick to
completion.

Mesmerized, Rick watched as Jack licked his hand

clean of his seed, drawing him in so the two could again
share their tastes.

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They lay still and silent on the Oriental rug, bodies

entwined, bathed in the moonlight shining through the
oversized picture window.

OON

, Jack felt Rick begin to shake, and he held him tighter

than he had imagined was possible.

“I’m sorry. I thought you wanted this. Was it too much?”

“Damn! I’m such a pussy sometimes.” Rick shook his

head into the crook of Jack’s neck. “I can’t believe after all
these years, I’ve finally found… you. I don’t want to lose you
because of the mistakes I’ve made.”

Jack stroked Rick’s sweat-matted hair. He loved Rick

like this, sweaty and on top of him. “Shhh, you’re not going
to lose me. You can’t.”

Slowly lifting his head, Rick looked down at Jack, brow

furrowed. “Why not?”

“Because I feel too much for you. I won’t let you leave—

not now, not ever.”

Rick lowered his head again and whispered, “Thank

you.”

next morning after showering and dressing, Jack

showed  Rick  all  his  top-of-the-line  appliances,  ending  with
his  pride  and  joy.  “This  is  my  coffee  maker.  It  brews  to
perfection.  Starbucks  and  Dunkin  Donuts  wish  they  could
create a cup of heaven like this baby does.”

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“Ah, your first born always holds a special spot in your

heart.” Rick chuckled.

The two enjoyed a relaxing weekend morning together,

talking about Steve and Tom’s upcoming new addition, sex,
returning to their health club—everything but the topic at
hand.

“We can’t keep avoiding talking about what’s happening

later today.”

“I know.” Jack sighed. “It’s time to meet your evil ex.”

Jack approached the sink, loading the breakfast dishes into
the dishwasher, unable to look at Rick.

“She’s not evil. Besides, you know I wouldn’t be able to

live without my kids in my life.”

Jack nodded.

“Are you okay with what this really means? If you think

about it you’re going to be… that is, if you want to be….”
Rick turned away, finding a cloth to wipe the counter.

“I want to be their stepfather.” Jack left the remaining

cups in the sink and faced Rick. “That’s what you’re trying
not to ask, isn’t it?”

Rick’s hand stilled, damp cloth beneath it.

“While I do lose myself in sex… and what we do….” Rick

gazed at him. “Well, we both know it’s not just sex with us.”
Jack could see Rick’s face soften as a coy grin crossed his
face. “I do remember what I said.” Taking a deep breath, he
continued, “I want you here… in this apartment and in my
life for as long as the future allows.”

“It happened so quickly. Regrets wouldn’t surprise me.”

Rick bit his lip.

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“They wouldn’t surprise me, either, but I have none.”

Jack huffed. “You’re the one for me. I knew it the moment
that hot, muscled body approached and offered to spot for
me at the weight-lifting bar.”

“I’m pretty sure I knew it then too.”

Jack smiled at the admission, remembering Rick had

still been playing it straight at the time.

“I loved Fran once, but not in the way I—” Rick looked at

Jack.

“It’s okay. If you say it, I won’t run and hide.” Jack

smirked, understanding his trick-filled past could stifle
Rick’s expressions of emotion.

“I’ve never loved anyone the way I love you.”

Ghosting his fingers over Rick’s lips, Jack stood on his

toes to kiss his lover. “So what’s the plan? When do we go
into battle?”

Rick chuckled. “I doubt Fran will be that bad.”

Jack rested his arms on Rick’s shoulders as they faced

one another. “Don’t you see? We’re fighting a three-front
war.”

Raising an eyebrow, Rick remained silent. Jack couldn’t

stop the word “cute” from crossing his mind, but he chose to
keep it to himself.

“The first battleground is the work place, the second is

your ex and the kids, and the final front will be your
parents.”

“I see. It sounds like a lot for two people to take on.”

Rick’s grin rapidly faded.

“Not when you’re a superhuman couple.”

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Rick snorted. “Is that what we are?”

“The way you make me come—like no one else ever

has—and the way we were drawn together… there’s no other
explanation.”

Rick kissed Jack tenderly. “I do love you.”

“I know. Now let’s prepare for battle, Superhunk.”

“Aye, aye, Captain Hottie.”

A Risk Worth Taking | Carolyn LeVine Topol

Chapter 6

ICK

watched as Jack navigated his way through the suburb

of Newton, Massachusetts. His knuckles were white as he
gripped the steering wheel.

“This isn’t the best of circumstances, but Fran isn’t so

bad. It’s not like she’s going to poison us or anything.”

Jack swung his head quickly in Rick’s direction and

then refocused on the road ahead. “When did I ever say
anything like that—and where did you get such a fucking
grim idea?”

“It was a joke. I wish you’d relax, at least a little.” Rick

reached over and began to massage the back of Jack’s neck,
kneading the tension he felt between his lover’s shoulder
blades.

“Feels good. Keep going.”

Smiling, Rick was glad to find some way to relieve Jack’s

anxiety. He wanted this meeting to go smoothly, if for no
other reason than to ensure he gained regular visitation
rights with the kids.

Jack had to be part of their life or they’d never make it

as a couple, let alone a family.

Thinking about all Jack was changing for him, he began

to get more concerned. “You never wanted kids, did you?”

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Remaining silent, Jack continued to focus on the road,

following the directions the GPS device announced as they
neared each upcoming turn.

“I’d understand if you’d like me to take sole

responsibility for my children. You don’t have to be involved
if  you  don’t  want  to  be.”  Rick  stopped  ministering  to  Jack’s
neck  and  rested  his  hands  squarely  in  his  lap,  looking  out
the passenger side window.

Feeling Jack’s hand creep onto his thigh, Rick turned

back.

“I’ve never thought about having kids because until

now, it wasn’t an option.” Eyes fixed on the road, Jack gently
stroked Rick’s thigh. “I was single, I didn’t live a particularly
wholesome lifestyle, and there was no one to share that
experience with.”

Rick gnawed on the edge of his thumbnail. “And now?”

“And now I have a partner—we are partners, aren’t we?”

Jack glanced in Rick’s direction, an eyebrow raised, awaiting
the answer.

“Oh yeah, we’re definitely partners.” Rick let out a sigh

of  relief  at  hearing  Jack  wanted  them  to  be  partners.  It
seemed  so  much  more  intimate  and  committed  than
boyfriends, or even worse, roommates.

“Well then, if we’re partners, the way I see it, we share

everything in life. If your life includes two rug rats, then so
does mine.”

“You really are full of surprises.”

“I’d better be—it would be a shame if we were bored with

each other already.”

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Rick chuckled. “My children aren’t rug rats anymore.

They’re six and nine.”

“Your son is the eldest—the one who can climb trees

without twisting his ankle.”

Remembering their first sidelined date due to a mishap

with his daughter, Rick huffed. “Yes. Mitchell is nine and
Jessie is six.”

Jack grasped Rick’s hand and squeezed. “If they’re part

of your life, then they’ll be part of mine… as long as your ex
agrees.”

“She’ll agree. Shit! She’d better.”

Jack released his hold on Rick and pointed ahead.

“There’s the street, right?”

“That’s it.” He rubbed his hands on his jeans. “Damn!

My hands are getting all sweaty, and I haven’t even
introduced you yet.”

“I guess just thinking about the night ahead is getting

you all hot and bothered.” Jack snorted.

Rick felt his cock respond to the mere joke about the

two  of  them  together  again,  naked  and….  He  had  to  stop
thinking  about  the  next  time  Jack  would  touch  him,  hold
him,  be  inside  him,  or  he  wouldn’t  be  able  to  walk  in  the
house and keep his cool with Fran.

Thinking of Fran helped. The tightening in his pants

diminished quickly.

ULLING

into the driveway of Rick’s house—former house—

sent a shiver down Jack’s spine. He knew Rick was as

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nervous as he was and had tried to mask his tension with
humor, offering whatever support he could muster.

Too much of their future was riding on this meet-and-

greet with the ex. All Jack wanted to do was get through it
without ruining Rick’s chances of spending plenty of time
with his kids.

It wasn’t only Rick he desired—Jack wanted to play a

role in every aspect of his lover’s life, including parenting. He
was looking forward to getting the chance to be a dad, or at
least an uncle, to the children his partner had brought into
the world.

Taking a deep breath, Jack turned off the car. The two

got out and walked up the slate path to the front door.

The neighborhood was classic Breederville. The houses

could  all  be  described  as  “charming,”  each  colonial-style
home  sporting  a  pristine  front  yard.  From  what  Jack  could
see,  most  of  the  residences  had  small  playscapes  in  their
backyards.

He felt Rick nudge his arm and realized he’d missed the

initial greeting from the ex.

“Sorry, I was just admiring your lovely home.”

“Come in, Mr. Randall, Rick.” Fran was nearly a foot

shorter than Rick’s six-foot-two. She had a nice, petite body
and seemed to keep herself in fairly good shape, although
Jack was amused to notice she had a bit of a gut. Maybe
Fran enjoyed a beer or two more often than Rick might have
realized.

“Thank you, and please call me Jack. I would imagine

we’ll be seeing more of each other in the future.”

Fran grimaced. “That remains to be seen.”

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Rick stepped forward. “Look, Fran, you’ve known for

months, probably years, this was inevitable.”

“What I’ve known is you quit being the husband and

father I thought you were. It doesn’t mean I ever expected
you to follow through with your dark desires. You buried
those the day you proposed… or so I thought.”

Brushing his hand through his hair, Rick began to pace

the inside foyer. “I buried them, but they were never really
dead. We’ve been through all this.”

“Fine.” Fran closed the door and ushered Jack and Rick

into the dining room, where she had a teapot, cups, and a
dish of small tarts set out.

Jack looked to Rick, disturbed by Fran’s denial of Rick’s

nature. Rick shrugged and offered Jack the seat next to his
at the table.

Fran poured tea and offered the delicate pastries. The

whole situation seemed surreal—like a scene from The
Stepford Wives. “I hope you like herbal tea, Mr. Randall.”

“The name is Jack, please use it.” Keeping the edge of

annoyance from his voice was getting more difficult. “No one
calls me Mr. Randall unless I’m in a business meeting.”

“Do you have a job? I thought Rick would be supporting

you. He’s quite financially successful—but I imagine you
already know that.”

Zing! She may have known they were destined for

divorce, but Fran clearly didn’t want to let him go quietly.

“I have a very lucrative position as an associate editor at

a publishing house in Boston.”

Fran took a sip of her tea. She was cool, trying to mask

her surprise at learning of Jack’s equally lucrative career.

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“I see. Now isn’t that nice. I know so little about you. I

assumed you wanted to be the new wife—guess I was
mistaken.”

“Fran! What the hell is this all about?” She was about to

answer when Rick continued. “Don’t even think of telling me
to censor my language—I know the kids aren’t home.”

“Fine. Then let’s get down to business.” She glared at

Rick and then diverted her attention to Jack. “I don’t think
either of you are qualified to take my place in caring for my
children. I’ll be speaking to a pediatric psychiatrist to see if
Rick’s new phase will somehow taint them.”

Jack watched Rick’s face begin to pale.

“It would seem I hold all the cards. I expect complete

cooperation, and if I get it, maybe I’ll consider letting Rick
see the children again.”

Jack had heard enough. “First of all, Ms. Monroe… it is

Monroe, or are you returning to your maiden name?”

Fran bit into a tart and didn’t answer.

“As I was saying, Rick is every bit as much Mitchell and

Jessie’s parent as you are. I’m sorry if you can’t see your way
clear  to  admitting  that.  He’s  a  kind  and  generous  person—
not  only  in  a  monetary  way.  I’ve  never  asked  him  for  a
penny,  although  I’m  sure  he’d  give  it  if  I  did.”  Jack  took
Rick’s hand when he saw it begin to shake, holding tightly to
ground him.

“I have every intention of being as good a stepfather as I

can  be  to  the  children,  and  unless  you  are  interested  in
damaging  them,  you  will  support  Rick  as  he  develops  a
relationship  with  them,  independent  of  you.”  Jack  lessened

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the grip he had on Rick’s hand, lacing their fingers. He
placed their joined hands on the table.

“You’re quite eloquent, Mr.—”

Jack raised a brow.

“Jack. I can see why you’re a success in publishing, a

career filled with words. After I speak with the psychiatrist,
I’m sure Rick and I will be able to work something out.”

Pleased Fran seemed to understand, Jack released

Rick’s hand and stood up. “Where shall I bring these cups
and saucers? You shouldn’t have to clean up yourself.”

Surprisingly, Fran took him up on his offer. “Rick, you

relax. Jack and I will take care of these.”

Jack followed Fran into the kitchen. This fast

turnaround in her demeanor took Jack by surprise, so he
decided to tread carefully, proceeding with caution.

As she took the dishes from Jack and placed them in

the sink, Fran grinned. “I hope you and Rick are prepared for
what’s ahead.”

“I think we are.”

“Oh, and just so you know, since we’re being completely

open and honest—I’m pregnant.”

Jack was glad he no longer had the china teacups in his

hands.

Without waiting a beat, Fran laughed. “I’m sure you

know it’s not Rick’s, but he’ll be too much of a gentleman to
reveal that to any judge or lawyer. I’ll expect child support
and parental support both physically and monetarily for all
three children.”

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Taking a moment to think, Jack regained his

composure. “Don’t you think the child’s real father will want
a say?”

“He’s not someone who will ever admit to it—he’s

married.”

“And you never told Rick?”

“I don’t want Rick anymore—why do you think I turned

to someone else? I want a man who appreciates me.”

“But this person—”

“Appreciated me a lot that night.” Fran smirked. “I’ll let

you give Rick the good news. He’s yours now.”

Fran left the kitchen.

Jack pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes

as he felt the signs of a headache pressing toward his
temples.

It was one thing to help raise and participate in the lives

of Rick’s children, but this was far more than he bargained
for. And now the evil ex was living up to that title, giving him
the privilege of breaking the news. Fuck!

ETURNING

to their apartment in Cambridge, Jack was as

silent as he had been when they drove to Newton.

“Jack, what happened?”

“What are you talking about? Everything went fine. I’m

sure the shrink will give you complete approval to see the
kids.”

“I know, but something happened when you and Fran

went into the kitchen. You’ve been quiet ever since.” Rick

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choked. “Have you changed your mind? Is this too much for
you?”

Jack didn’t answer, but he turned the car in another

direction.

“Where are we going?” Rick looked around as they

approached a parking lot near the Boston Garden. “We’re
heading for your special spot.”

“It’s our special spot… and we need to talk.”

A Risk Worth Taking | Carolyn LeVine Topol

Chapter 7

“I

STILL

can’t believe you brought me here. We haven’t

known each other very long—I’m honored you consider it our
place already.” Rick held Jack’s hand as the two made their
way through the Boston Garden to the secluded patch of
grass nestled under a small circle of trees.

“I’m not completely sure why I showed you this spot,

either.” When they stood inside the cocoon of foliage, Jack
ghosted his fingers over Rick’s cheek and lips. “I just knew I
had to share my private haven with you.”

Rick warmed, understanding the importance of Jack’s

hideaway. “How long was it before Steve got to see your little
piece of heaven?”

Jack lowered his head. Rick cupped his lover’s chin and

lifted  his  head  so  they  could  look  into  each  other’s  eyes
briefly  before  bringing  their  lips  together.  Wrapping  strong
arms around each other in a tender embrace, they remained
connected.

For a moment, when their lips parted, Rick could see

small  lines  worrying  the  edges  of  Jack’s  eyes.  He  held  his
partner  tighter,  and  Jack  rested  his  head  against  Rick’s
shoulder.  Rick  tended  to  forget  Jack  was  a  bit  shorter  than
he  was,  as  he  gave  off  such  an  aura  of  strength  and  self-
assuredness.

“I never brought him here.”

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It took a moment for Rick to understand Jack’s

confession—no one had ever been invited to this special
place until now. He began to stroke the short, wavy brown
hair, nestling his hand in the thick locks. “I see.”

The two sat against the trunk of the oldest tree. Using

their joined hands, Rick drew Jack closer.

“Bringing you here….”

“Was like me taking you to meet Scottie and Lou. It was

my way of telling you there was something significant
between us even then—that there had to be an us.”

Jack nodded against Rick’s shoulder and pressed his

lips against his cheek.

“You said we needed to talk.” Rick placed his arm

around  Jack’s  shoulders.  He  enjoyed  being  the  one  to  bring
comfort  for  a  change  and  hoped  whatever  was  bothering
Jack  wouldn’t  be  insurmountable.  “Nothing  you  say  will
make me leave.”

Gripping Rick’s hand tighter, Jack tensed. “When I

helped Fran clear the table—”

Rick waited, feeling the tension in Jack’s shoulders. “I

had a feeling something either happened or was said to
upset you. I just have no idea what it could be.”

Jack remained silent.

“There’s nothing left for me to tell you. I’ve been totally

honest.”

“Fuck,” Jack murmured loud enough for Rick to hear.

“Now you’re scaring me. What did Fran say?”

Jack released Rick’s hand and gripped the muscular

man’s T-shirt. “She’s pregnant.”

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Rick pulled back slightly in disbelief. He stared at Jack,

searching for a smile or a grin to indicate a bad joke, but
neither appeared.

Combing his fingers through his hair, Rick began to

panic. “It’s not mine. I told you I hadn’t slept with my ex in
ages, and I wasn’t lying.” Covering his face with his hand,
Rick lowered his head. “I didn’t lie, you have to believe me.”
Would he lose Jack? He’d spent his life looking for him, and
now….

ACK

tenderly placed his hands on Rick’s cheeks and gazed

into moist blue eyes. “I know it’s not yours. She told me. But
it wouldn’t matter what was said—I know I can trust you.”

“Thank God. I thought you….”

Jack bit his lip and moved to sit on Rick’s lap,

straddling him so they were facing each other. “You belong to
me. I wanted someone special in my life; I’d hoped for it,
longed for it, and I finally found that someone… you. There’s
no way in hell I’m going to let you go.”

Wiping a small tear from Rick’s cheek, Jack leaned in to

kiss away the pain. Feeling the need to get closer, to protect
Rick, Jack didn’t fight the building heat. One kiss led to
another as lips crashed together, fingers dug into backs.
Separation was not an option.

Parting Rick’s lips, Jack pressed his tongue inside,

needing more of Rick—needing all of him.

Pulling back, Rick’s breathing was labored. “Damn it! I

didn’t do anything to hurt her. It was really over… we’d been
really over for—did she tell you who the father is?”

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“You.”

Rick’s eyes widened. “What? I just told you—”

“I know what you told me. Fran wants to publicly name

you as the father. Apparently baby number three is the
product of an affair with a married man who wants to stay
that way and has no intention of acknowledging his kid.”

“But it’s not mine. I have two kids, not three.” Jack

could see the moment Rick fully comprehended what was
happening. He drew his knees up behind Jack’s back as the
smaller man remained in his lap and pressed his palms
against his eyelids. Jack gently grazed the nape of his neck,
massaging gently, giving Rick time to absorb everything.

“Does she want me to raise this child as if it were my

own? What about the birth certificate? This is totally
fucked.”

“Shhh.” Jack’s forehead softly connected with Rick’s.

“You’ll  insist  the  real  father  be  put  on  the  birth  certificate.
You can also refuse to do this—to take on this responsibility
that  isn’t  yours.  Hell,  maybe  this  could  work  to  our
advantage,  make  it  easier  to  get  more  visitation  with  your
children.”

“She wants to use it against me, doesn’t she? It’ll make

it look like I left my wife and kids when she was expecting.”

“I’m sure that’s what she wants, but it’s a twisted tale.

Modern

science

and

paternity

testing

can

resolve

everything.” Jack kissed the tip of Rick’s nose. “I want to
meet Mitchell and Jessie and be as much of a parent to them
as I can. As far as kid number three goes—it’s your call.”

Rick nodded. “Does that mean if I do decide to let the

story go Fran’s way….” He rolled his lips inward.

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“Then I’ll still be by your side, helping you raise your

three children.”

Jack wasn’t as shocked as he thought he’d be when the

words  left  his  mouth.  No  matter  what  happened  in  the
future, he knew it had to include Rick. If that meant dealing
with  his  insane  ex  and  her  spawn  from  some  unnamed
cheater, so be it. Rick had to remain in Jack’s life—otherwise
his  life  would  be  empty.  Even  though  they  had  known  each
other  for  such  a  short  time,  Jack  knew  he  had  found  the
man  to  fill  his  empty  heart  and  life.  He  had  no  intention  of
risking his heart breaking. That was a burden he wanted to
avoid at all costs.

“You know, we still haven’t decided how to handle your

colleague. What was his name?”

It took a moment for Jack to remember whom Rick was

referring to. “You mean Mel—goddamn prick.”

“The guy who wants you to withdraw from consideration

for the promotion. You can’t do it.” Rick began to sit up
straighter, his voice firm. It became clear neither one
intended to walk away from their new relationship.

“Rick, you could lose your job. He could out you to your

homophobic boss.”

“Not if I do it first. If my boss is foolish enough to fire me

or find some lame excuse to lay me off, then I’ll walk with all
my clients in hand. I’ve never signed a contract giving the
firm rights to my clients.”

Jack smiled for the first time all afternoon. “You are

fucking brilliant,” he whispered. “Are you sure you’re ready?”

“If you’re ready to become one of the next editors at

Sutcliff and Simon, I’m ready to be the proud….”

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“Partner.”

Rick’s face flushed as his grin broadened. “Yeah?”

“Isn’t that what we are now—partners? I meant what I

said. I don’t use that term lightly. In fact, I’ve never used it
before.”

“Yes.” Rick rolled the two of them over onto the shaded

grass. With Jack beneath him, Rick began to pepper his face
and neck with kisses. “I want you—now.”

Jack began to writhe under Rick’s continued assault.

“We can’t, not here, not….”

Stilling his body, Jack could feel Rick’s bulge against his

own matching desire. “I do want to be inside you one day.
Will you let me?”

Jack closed his eyes and then slowly reopened them,

staring into the darkened eyes above. “Yes. I’ve never….”

“I had a feeling.” Rick brushed stray hairs off Jack’s

forehead. “I’ll love you as carefully as you love me.”

Jack closed his eyes again. “You know.”

“I do.”

The two rose. Clinging to each other, they shared a quiet

moment in their secluded haven.

Rick stood tall, and Jack reached up to brush a small

leaf from his light brown hair. “I think we could use a drink.”

Nodding, Rick smirked. “It’s time to visit The Dugout.”

“Maybe Scottie can share some of his sage advice.”

“If nothing else, we’ll have some great beer and a good

burger.”

“And some nice company. How about if I call Tom and

Steve and ask them to join us?”

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Rick smiled. “I’d like to share that place with them—but

not this one.”

Jack chastely kissed Rick. “This place belongs to us

alone.”

“Like we belong to each other?” Rick whispered.

“Yes.”

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Chapter 8

“I

CAN

’

believe you actually like this dump.”

Tom nudged his husband.

Jack snorted. “I must admit, the first time Rick brought

me here I was less than impressed, but trust me—it grows
on you.”

Steve followed Rick, Jack, and Tom into The Dugout. He

couldn’t believe the dark, drab environment of the tiny pub-
style restaurant and bar, located about ten minutes from
Fenway Park.

Shaking his head, Steve continued, “Rick, why the hell

would you come here? It’s not close enough to Fenway to
have a pre-game drink, and it’s not lively enough for
anything else.”

“Steve, please trust me on this.” Rick waved to someone

entering from the swinging kitchen door in the rear.

“Rickie! Two times in one week—and with more

company. I’m beginning to think we have something to
celebrate.”

The older man grabbed Rick, giving him a warm bear

hug, and then turned to Jack, who accepted the same.

“You know, Scottie, we may just have something to

celebrate—Rick moved out of his house… and in with me.”

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Scottie looked at Rick, his eyes wide and a huge, toothy

smile  on  his  face.  “Well,  I’ll  be  damned.  It’s  about  time  you
settled  down  with  the  right  man.”  Scottie  gestured  at  Rick
like  a  TV  game  show  spokesmodel.  “You  look  ten  years
younger,  and  I  can  tell  by  the  grin  on  your  face  you’re
happier than I’ve ever seen you before.” Scottie gazed at Rick
in a fatherly way. “Ah, me darlin’ boy—I’m so happy for you.”
His Irish brogue was endearing, as was his genuine affection
for Rick.

“What’s all the goddamn racket? Can’t you ever greet

anyone quietly?” A guy Steve thought looked a lot like an
older version of the bears at his local bar burst out of the
kitchen wearing a slightly stained chef’s uniform.

Rick put up his hand to silence everyone. “Steve, Tom,

I’d like you to meet two old friends who helped me survive
my so-called life as a straight man—even though they knew
it was all a lie. This is Scottie and his partner, Lou.”

Steve looked from one to the other. “Partner?”

Lou wrapped a brawny arm around Scottie’s shoulders.

“In every sense of the word, son. And I wouldn’t change a
thing.” Lou sniffed the air. “Shit! If I don’t get back to those
burgers, table three will have well-done and then some.” He
turned without another word and disappeared back into the
kitchen.

Scottie shrugged. “He’s a bit gruff, but I love him all the

same.”

Jack snickered. “I bet he has a lot more attributes than

we can see.”

Offering a huge belly laugh and slapping Jack

congenially on the arm, Scottie declared, “And you never will
see. His attributes are mine, and I don’t share.”

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Steve began to understand the attraction to The Dugout.

“I know exactly how you feel. I don’t share, either.” He laced
his fingers with Tom’s, gripping tightly.

“I wouldn’t share a winner like that, either.” Scottie

winked at Steve and turned to Jack. “And what about you,
Jackie? Are you planning on spreading yourself thin or—”

The edges of Steve’s lips curled up. Jack would never

allow someone to call him “Jackie” unless he really cared
about him. The last person to have used that name was
Jack’s mother.

“You don’t have to continue with the questions.” Jack

turned to Rick and wrapped his hand around the nape of the
taller man’s neck. “I want only Rick. Believe me, I’ve had
plenty before him—no need to continue the endless parade
when I’ve found the best—in every way.”

Scottie clapped his hands together, making a loud

crack. “Well, all right then. Glad to hear it. Now, are you
boys here for drinks or dinner?”

Rick looked at the three men accompanying him.

“Both.”

“Have a seat. How about a round of stout?”

Everyone nodded and moved to an empty table near the

front window.

Steve watched the tender touches between Jack and

Rick and the way they looked at each other. It reminded him
of the first few months with his own husband. He leaned in
to whisper to Tom. “I think he’s hooked.”

Tom turned to place a chaste kiss on Steve’s waiting

lips. “Yeah. It’s nice to see Jack this happy, despite all the
shit they’ll have to face when Rick comes out.”

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After Scottie dropped off the mugs of dark brew and

took their dinner orders, Tom’s face grew more serious. “How
did the visit with your ex-wife go?”

Rick furrowed his brow, and Jack’s expression mirrored

it.

Sweeping his hand over his hair and peering across the

table at Jack and Rick, Steve could see the tension shared
by both men. “Did she give you a hard time or threaten to
keep the kids from you?”

Lowering his head, Jack remained silent, and Steve

could feel the hairs standing up on the back of his neck.
“What the fuck happened?”

Holding Jack’s hand, Rick whispered, “She told Jack

she’s pregnant and wants to claim I’m the father.”

Tom sat back in his chair. “Holy shit! What about the

real father?”

Jack snorted. “Married and happy to disown the spawn

of his affair.”

“It’s so damn hard to understand why and how people

screw around. At least when a gay man screws around he
can’t get knocked up.”

Steve looked at his husband. “I’m glad we don’t have to

worry about that.” Steve touched his forehead to Tom’s.
“From the moment we met, we felt the same way you two feel
about each other. There was no one else I ever wanted to be
with.”

Jack blurted out, “Except when you were drunk and

thought I was Tom.”

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Realizing what he’d just said, Jack stared back at three

pairs of eyes all glowering at him.

“What the fuck are you talking about?” The anger in

Steve’s voice forced Jack back in his chair. “We’ve never—”

“No, we didn’t.”

“So why would you say something like that—especially

in front of Tom? Is this your twisted idea of a joke?”

“Shit!” Jack rolled his lips inward. “The first night you

saw my place, you were as drunk as could be and told me
you were moving in with Tom, and I came pretty damn close
to….”

“What?” Steve’s voice escalated in volume, and Tom

started drinking his Guinness as if it was the first drink he’d
had in years.

“I was fucking lonely and didn’t want anyone else to be

more important to you than me.” Jack lowered his head for a
moment and then looked directly at Steve. “I’m sorry. I never
told  you  what  happened  since  as  soon  as  things  started
heating  up  you  called  out  his  name.”  Pointing  at  Tom,  Jack
continued.  “I  knew  I  couldn’t  take  advantage  of  you…  or
knowingly hurt your future with Tom… and probably destroy
our friendship forever.”

“You fucking asshole. You could have ruined everything,

and I wouldn’t have remembered.”

Tom brushed his hand over his face. “Do you remember

the day you moved in? That was the first time we did it raw.”

Steve’s eyes narrowed as he glared at Jack. “You could

have put Tom and me in real danger.”

Jack rested his head in hands. “Fuck.” He was barely

audible. “I didn’t know. I really am sorry.” He raised his

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head, eyes moist. “Steve, you’re my oldest friend—I’m glad I
stopped before it was too late, before I did irreparable
damage.”

The foursome was silent, and Scottie brought their food

over, leaving them once again to tend to other customers as
The Dugout began to fill.

Feeling Rick’s hand begin to rub his back, Jack leaned

into the touch, resting his head on Rick’s shoulder and
closing his eyes. “I may never be perfect, but if I fuck up, I
promise I’ll tell you—right away.”

Rick pressed his lips to the top of Jack’s head. “I believe

you—it’s okay.”

Tom pinched the bridge of his nose. “You realize if I’d

known about this three years ago, I’d have knocked you
across the room.”

“And now?”

“Now, you’re too good a friend, and since no harm was

done and it hasn’t happened since—has it?”

Jack sat up tall and blurted out, “No, never!”

“Then there’s nothing to worry about. Steve, are you

okay?” Tom tangled his fingers in Steve’s hair and gazed into
his eyes.

Nodding, the edges of Steve’s mouth slowly curled

upwards. “I’ll let it pass, but….”

“But?” Jack bit his lip.

“But I’m never drinking until I’m that drunk with you

ever again.”

Rick snorted. “I’ll make sure of that.”

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The four were able to laugh, although Jack knew he’d

come close to losing his best friend. He realized how
important it was for him and Rick to be completely open and
honest… about everything.

They ate in companionable silence, enjoying their meals.

“Rick, I’m going for the promotion.”

Tom and Steve looked up from their plates and stared

across the table, neither offering a word.

“And I’ll be happy to help you raise the third kid if that’s

what you want. There’s one thing you have to do first.”

Rick gripped his glass so tightly his hands reddened.

“What’s that?”

“You have to come out—at least at work.” Jack paused

to  take  a  deep  breath.  “We  talked  about  it,  but  you  didn’t
make  a  firm  decision.  I  won’t  be  the  one  responsible  for
outing  you,  not  to  mention  giving  that  asshole  at  work  the
opportunity to embarrass you. I’ll be with you all the way… if
you’re  ready.  Otherwise,  I’m  going  to  turn  down  the  job
opportunity. We can’t have it all if we don’t make some of the
tough trade-offs.”

Rick was stone-faced, his sculpted chin tight as he

visibly clenched his jaw.

“This isn’t a threat or a challenge. I’m being honest.”

Jack  took  Rick’s  hand  in  both  of  his.  “I  want  to  be  editor—
hell,  I  deserve  it  more  than  Mel.”  Lifting  one  of  his  hands,
Jack  ghosted  his  fingers  over  Rick’s  forehead  and  cheek.
“But I won’t move forward at your expense.”

Tilting his head into Jack’s touch, Rick sighed. “It’s

time. Jesus. It’s long overdue. I need to come out—now.”

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Jack kissed Rick tenderly. The two remained connected

until they heard Steve’s artificial cough.

“I want to do this on my own, but it’s good to know

you’ll be there when it’s over.” Rick ran his finger over the
rim of his glass, looking at the table. “I’ll need you.”

Jack gently lifted his lover’s chin, kissing him on the

cheek. “I’m not going anywhere.”

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Chapter 9

ACK

blinked his eyes open and spotted the bright red

digital  numbers  on  the  nightstand  alarm  clock.  Four  in  the
morning and he found himself engulfed in strong, muscular
arms  with  his  head  resting  over  Rick’s  heart.  He  could  feel
the  peaceful  rhythm,  much  slower  than  the  previous  night,
when the two couldn’t get enough of one another.

Having been in the closet for ten years, Rick was

definitely making up for lost time. His passion and sexual
enthusiasm added so much to their lovemaking.

Smiling, Jack remembered how it felt to be inside Rick

while knowing the man beneath him could feel his love from
both inside and out.

After a lifetime of tricking, Jack had finally discovered a

happiness  he’d  never  known  before  and  a  sex  life  that  went
far  beyond  the  act  itself.  There  was  foreplay  in  everything
they  did  the  previous  night.  Just  watching  Rick  smooth  the
fabric of the pillowcase had caused Jack’s pants to tighten.

Love wasn’t about fucking the same guy repeatedly for

the long term; it was about the way that man made you feel
even when you weren’t fucking.

Jack ran the back of his hand over Rick’s rippled chest.

Even in his sleep, Rick’s breath hitched at the gentle touch,
and Jack found their connection more remarkable with each

A Risk Worth Taking | Carolyn LeVine Topol

gesture. This was his Mr. Right, and he’d stand by him
through all the difficult times he was about to face.

Jack pressed his body further into Rick’s, whispering, “I

love you.”

ROM

the moment Rick arrived at his office, he knew how

the day would end. He sat at his computer and carefully sent
the names and addresses of his client base to his personal e-
mail.

He’d picked up a dozen roses for the secretary he shared

with two other accountants and presented them to her as
soon as she arrived.

The stage was set.

Rick made his way to Miles Jefferson’s office. Following

protocol, Rick spoke with Mr. Jefferson’s assistant, arranging
to meet with his boss in thirty minutes. He gazed around the
cubicles of M.J. Trust and Associates, knowing he’d more
likely than not be walking out shortly, jobless—yet feeling
more confident and content than he had in years.

Returning to the private office he’d earned, Rick closed

the door and pulled out his cell phone.

“Hi, what’s up?”

“Read any good books lately?”

Jack laughed. “Great pick up line, but you already have

me hooked. And considering what I do for a living, the
answer to your question is yes, plenty—a few dozen stinkers
too.”

Rick snorted. “I’m seeing him in half an hour.”

“Who?”

A Risk Worth Taking | Carolyn LeVine Topol

Rick didn’t respond.

“Oh shit. So soon?”

“Yeah. I cleaned up and did what was necessary to get

my things in order. Are you sure you’re okay with this? I may
need to get some financial support from you if my clients
don’t follow me—at least until I can get reestablished.”

“You know I’m okay with it.”

“Jack….”

“What is it?”

Rick took a deep breath. “I wasn’t completely asleep

early this morning.”

Jack paused. “I wondered. So you heard.”

“I did. And, Jack….”

“Yeah?”

“I love you too.”

“I’m glad.”

Rick smiled and closed his eyes. “Did you see Bruce

Sutcliff today?”

“Just left him.” Rick could hear Jack’s voice perk up. “I

told him I want the job. I knew I could count on you to keep
your end of the deal. As soon as you told me you planned to
set up a meeting with your boss, I knew you wouldn’t back
down, so I kept my part of the bargain too.”

“You can always count on me.”

“You’d better go.”

“Okay. See you later.”

“Come up here whenever you’re ready.”

Rick disconnected and stared at the phone. His stomach

was churning, but for the first time in his life, he felt

A Risk Worth Taking | Carolyn LeVine Topol

completely in charge of his actions. He was making decisions
based on his own needs, not someone else’s.

When he arrived at Mr. Jefferson’s office, he was

ushered in by the assistant and offered a seat. The owner of
the CPA firm returned and took the oversized chair behind
his desk.

“Hello, young man.” Miles Jefferson looked at a sheet on

his desk. “It’s Monroe, isn’t it?”

Rick was taken aback by such an impersonal question

from his long-time employer; it gave him the energy and
determination to proceed.

“Yes, sir, that’s correct.”

“You’ve been here how many years?”

“Ten.”

“That’s a long time. Are you requesting a promotion? I

understand you already have a private office.”

“No, Mr. Jefferson, I’m not here for a promotion; I’m

here to share an important piece of information with you.”

“Is there a major problem with one of our accounts?”

“The clients are all fine—it’s about me.” Rick didn’t want

to let his boss continue playing Twenty Questions. “I’m gay.
I’ve tried to deny it for years, but the truth is I need to be
honest with myself and with those in the world around me.”

“You’re gay? As in….”

“As in homosexual.”

Miles Jefferson gripped the arms of his desk chair, the

grimace distorting his features a clear indication of his
disgust at Rick’s revelation.

“What do you expect me to do about your deviant

lifestyle—and why did you have to tell me? It says here”—he

A Risk Worth Taking | Carolyn LeVine Topol

jabbed his finger at the employee profile on his desk—“you’re
married with children. You can’t be that!”

“I’ve been lying to myself and everyone around me for

years. I won’t be married much longer, and I am gay.”

Rick sat up tall, feeling as though a huge weight had

lifted. Mr. Jefferson began leafing through another folder.
“It’s interesting you should ask to see me today. I was going
to contact you.”

“You were?”

“Yes. It seems with the recession, our client list has

reduced more than any of us would like.”

Hands balled into tight fists, Rick waited for the

inevitable.

“I unfortunately have to decrease my staff, and as you’re

one of the younger ones….”

“You don’t have to say another word, sir. I’ll pack my

personal belongings and be out of here soon.”

“I wish it could be different, son.”

Rick smirked. “I’m sure you do.”

Standing up, Rick thought he’d want to yell, scream, hit

something—or someone—but instead he felt happier with
himself than he had in years. As left his former employer’s
grand office, he smiled, no longer burdened by the lie he had
lived with for so long.

Returning to his own office, he hoisted the strap of his

computer bag over his shoulder and lifted the box of
personal items he’d packed earlier. Without saying a word to
anyone, he left, a smile still plastered on his face as he
entered the elevator.

A Risk Worth Taking | Carolyn LeVine Topol

HEN

Jack spotted Rick, he jumped up from his chair to

meet him at the door of his office. The box in his arms told
the entire story.

“You could sue him if you want.”

“Nah. I think it’s for the best. Being out and working for

Miles Jefferson would be miserable.”

Jack was shocked when Rick closed the office door, put

down  the  load  he  was  carrying,  and  drew  Jack  in  for  an
unexpectedly  hungry  kiss,  their  tongues  searching  and
dueling as they clung to each other.

Entangling his fingers in Rick’s hair, Jack pulled away,

panting, and pressed their foreheads together.

“Fuck! That was hot.”

Rick grinned. “I’m glad you thought so. I’ve wanted to do

that ever since I saw you a couple of years ago in the
elevator.”

“You have?”

“I wasn’t dead, just in the closet.”

“Good thing the health club upstairs opened, or we may

never have had the excuse to meet.”

“Good thing.” Rick closed his eyes before continuing.

“Any regrets?”

Jack tightened his grip on Rick’s hair. “Not one. How

about you? It’s been a long time since I came out.”

Rick bit his lip and shook his head.

“You’re fucking amazing.” Crashing their lips together

again, Jack hoped Rick could feel how proud he was of him
and how grateful he was to have Rick in his life. “Let’s get
out of here.”

A Risk Worth Taking | Carolyn LeVine Topol

Chapter 10

“I

WANT

to fuck you.” As soon as Rick and Jack returned to

their apartment, those were the first words out of Rick’s
mouth. “I need this; we need this.”

Jack stared in shock as his lover held him close,

running his hands down Jack’s back, kneading his ass
through his pants.

“You know how much I want this.” Rick’s voice

deepened. “To be inside you, make you mine.”

“I am yours.” Jack’s head was spinning, fear and the

heat of desire fighting for dominance.

“But not in the same way I belong to you.” Rick stepped

back briefly, staring at the box of his personal belongings
resting on the sofa.

Jack understood Rick’s intense need for equality in their

relationship.

Rubbing his strong hands up and down Jack’s arms,

Rick deftly removed his suit jacket.

“You know I’ve never… I’m not sure I’m ready.”

“Did you mean what you said this morning, when you

thought I was still asleep?”

Jack nodded.

“I’d bet that was the first time you told someone you

were in love with him.”

A Risk Worth Taking | Carolyn LeVine Topol

Jack turned toward the window, unable to face Rick.

“I love you.” Rick stood behind him, wrapping his arms

around Jack, kissing his neck and nipping his earlobe.

“Oh God.” Jack’s breath hitched as his hunger

escalated. “I’m….”

“The first time you entered me, I was afraid, too, but I

knew  we  needed  to  become  one.  Now  I  need  to  share  that
incredible  feeling  with  you—take  you  places  you’ve  never
been  except  with  me,”  Rick  whispered  in  Jack’s  ear  as  he
continued to pepper gentle kisses on his neck and cheeks.

Jack turned in Rick’s arms. He gazed into darkened

eyes  filled  with  passion  and  need—for  him.  This  was  Rick’s
moment  to  close  the  door  on  his  past  and  become  the  man
he  was  meant  to  be,  and  Jack  knew  it  was  time  to  let  Rick
inside.

“Go slow.”

“I’d never hurt you.” Rick pressed his lips to Jack’s,

sharing his taste, showing his gratitude.

As Jack began to unbutton his shirt, Rick stepped back.

“I want to watch—to see you undress for me—to open up to
me.”

Hands shaking, Jack removed each item of clothing,

knowing this moment would be like no other he’d ever
experienced. He was afraid of how it would feel—afraid of
how he would feel.

“Look at me, Jack. Watch me.” Rick’s words brought

Jack’s  focus  back.  They  were  the  only  two  people  in  the
world  as  Rick  tossed  each  piece  of  the  expensive  suit  he’d
been wearing off to the side.

A Risk Worth Taking | Carolyn LeVine Topol

Jack’s cock responded to every move his lover made.

There was no denying his desire for Rick—he wanted him,
and it was comforting to know Rick wanted him just as
desperately.

Rick pulled down his briefs and pants together,

revealing himself. “You see how much I want you. I’ve never
wanted anyone as much as I do you.”

Grabbing a small packet of lube from one of his pants

pockets, Rick tore it open. Jack bit his lip, knowing what
was ahead. He feared it yet needed it at same time.

“Come here.” Rick’s voice was the essence of seduction:

irresistible.

Jack took the few steps necessary to bring them

together. Their bodies met, hot with lust and passion for
each other.

“Put your arms around my neck and wrap your legs

around me. I can hold you.”

Jack’s eyes widened, but after briefly hesitating, he did

as Rick asked, knowing and trusting his muscular lover
could easily support him.

Rick moaned as they made complete contact, and Jack

soon felt the large fingers moving down his back and over his
crack.

The first press inside his hole was intense. “Oh shit!”

Jack buried his head against Rick’s neck and held on tight
as his partner pushed a second finger inside.

This was more than he’d ever imagined. While Jack had

always known how his tricks reacted to him opening them
up, now that he was experiencing it himself… it was hard to
describe the feeling. He only knew he needed more. He began

A Risk Worth Taking | Carolyn LeVine Topol

to move, pushing back against the intrusion, holding on to
Rick tightly, wanting this, craving this.

Rick pulled his fingers out, and Jack moaned, despite

his desire to maintain some control. “I’m carrying you to our
bed. No one will have you like this in our bed.”

“Never.”

Tenderly placing Jack on the bed, Rick immediately

positioned himself between his legs, nudging them,
indicating he should raise them. “I want to see you.”

Jack was so hard. He could barely hear. He was

responding purely on instinct. His body was on fire, and he
wanted to touch himself, touch Rick, but he held back.

Staring into Rick’s eyes, he watched as the condom

wrapper  was  torn  open  by  his  lover’s  teeth.  It  was  so  hot.
Just  seeing  Rick  slowly  roll  the  latex  sheath  on  his  stiff
member was enough to cause Jack’s body to writhe with wild
abandon.  This  was  a  hunger  he’d  never  wanted  to  satisfy—
until now.

Tongue licking his lips, Rick pushed into Jack.

“Fuck!” The pain and pleasure of his man entering was

too much—and not enough.

Rick stilled, glassy eyes gazing at Jack until he nodded.

Thrusting in as slowly as Jack could imagine was

possible, Rick filled him. Shifting subtly, he pressed against
his prostate. Jack’s head fell back. “Rick.”

“Now you’re all mine. No one will ever have you like this.

Only me.”

“Only you.” Jack knew he couldn’t last long. His body

was screaming for release.

A Risk Worth Taking | Carolyn LeVine Topol

Rick began a rhythm—their rhythm. His movements

kept Jack on the edge.

Jack gripped the headboard to keep his hands from

touching himself, wanting this to last.

Rick began to move more urgently. He crashed his lips

onto Jack’s, their tongues devouring each other, savoring
every taste, increasing their passion for one another.

With every thrust, Rick pressed against Jack’s prostate.

“Rick,  fuck,  Rick!”  Jack  dug  his  nails  into  Rick’s  shoulders
as  his  back  arched  and  he  shot  between  them,  the  orgasm
more intense than any he remembered, overwhelmed by both
his loss of control and his willingness to want more.

As he shuddered through another aftershock, sensitive

to everything around him, Jack heard Rick moan and felt an
added warmth within.

Jack felt moisture escape from his eyes. Holding back

was no longer an option. “Rick, you’re it for me. I love you,
and I’ll never let you go.”

Rick collapsed. Buried beneath his partner, Jack had

never felt so protected. When muscular arms embraced him,
he knew this was the beginning of his—no, their—future.

Despite his labored breathing, Rick whispered, “I love

you so damn much. Thank you for letting me—”

“No, thank you… for everything.”

A Risk Worth Taking | Carolyn LeVine Topol

Chapter 11

doctor had informed Fran her miscarriage fell into the

category  of  “not  uncommon  first  trimester  occurrences.”  It
didn’t  help.  She  felt  the  loss  more  deeply  than  she  would
have  expected  for  an  unwanted  pregnancy.  Had  it  not  been
for  Rick  and  Jack  holding  her  hands  throughout  the  entire
unpleasant  and  unhappy  experience,  Fran  knew  she  would
have  fallen  apart.  Instead,  her  suspicions  of  Jack  and  any
possible  ulterior  motives  he  might  have  regarding  Rick  and
her children dissipated.

It had only been two weeks since Rick and Jack

declared  they  would  accept  the  baby  into  their  lives  along
with  Mitchell  and  Jessie.  Fran  thought  her  pregnancy—and
Rick’s  dedication  to  his  children—would  be  a  deal-breaker
for  the  suave  player  she’d  met  just  a  few  weeks  earlier.  To
her surprise, Jack had supported Rick in his decision to care
for the third child as if it were his own and planned to take
on  the  role  of  stepfather  to  all  three  children—“because
they’re Rick’s.”

“You don’t have to stay with me. Women have

miscarriages every day.”

“I know, but not women carrying our baby. The least we

could  do  was  bring  you  home  and  help  you  get  as
comfortable  as  possible.”  Although  his  tone  of  voice  lacked
warmth, Fran could tell Jack honestly meant what he said.

A Risk Worth Taking | Carolyn LeVine Topol

“Besides, we’ll take Mitchell and Jessie with us,” Rick

added.

“That’s not necessary. I can take care of the kids. It’s

not  like  they’re  still  babies.  I  won’t  need  to  carry  them
around.” As she stretched out on the sofa, Fran rubbed her
hand  over  her  empty  belly,  mourning  the  loss  of  both  the
baby and Rick.

Knowing her last ties to her husband were now severed,

Fran  decided  to  take  the  proverbial  high  road  and  put  the
children  first.  It  had  also  became  painfully  apparent  that,
should she try to force Rick to choose between her and Jack,
she  would  come  up  short.  There  was  a  light  in  Rick’s  eyes
whenever he looked at the other man—a light she had never
had the privilege of seeing.

Rick went into the kitchen to make some tea, leaving

Fran and Jack alone in the living room.

“Thank you.”

Jack looked directly at Fran as he placed a light blanket

over her. “No thanks needed. We’d like to help in any way we
can.”

Fran grinned. “You’re quite the gentleman. No wonder

Rick fell in love with you.”

“Let’s not forget how incredibly handsome I am as well.”

Jack raised an eyebrow.

Despite her pain and sadness, Fran chuckled. “He must

also admire your extreme modesty.”

“There is that too.” Jack smirked.

“I won’t give Rick any trouble where the kids are

concerned.”

A Risk Worth Taking | Carolyn LeVine Topol

Jack stilled and stared at Fran. “Then it’s you who

should get the thanks. I don’t want to get between Rick and
his children.”

“You might even turn out to be a pretty good

stepfather.”

“We’ll see.” Jack sat at the foot of the sofa. “I’d like the

chance to try.”

Fran nodded. “Okay.” She sighed before continuing.

“There was a time I thought Rick and I would last forever,
but I was hiding from the truth. Deep down I always knew it
wouldn’t last, that I was fooling myself—that I wasn’t what
he wanted or needed.”

“He didn’t hurt you on purpose—hell, he was hurting

himself too.”

“I’m beginning to understand. He’s far more animated

with you than he ever was with me—more content, at ease.”
Fran sat up as straight as she could. “Don’t disappoint him.
He deserves to be happy.”

Jack reached over and took her hand. “I intend to make

him very happy.”

Bringing in the tea, Rick stared at his ex-wife and Jack.

“You two are far cozier with each other than I would have
expected.”

Fran pulled her hand back slowly. “Not to worry. It’s

obvious he’s all yours.” As Rick leaned  over to place the tea
tray  on  the  coffee  table  in  front  of  the  sofa,  she  reached  up
and  brushed  the  back  of  her  hand  over  his  cheek.  “It’s
equally obvious you’re his.”

Rick closed his eyes and smiled. “Yeah. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. I’ll be okay with all of this.”

A Risk Worth Taking | Carolyn LeVine Topol

“Do you want us to stay?”

“No, I want to have some time alone. And in a couple of

days, I’m going to start living the life I should too. You’d
better be prepared to babysit when I find my Jack.”

Rick kissed Fran’s cheek. “Count on it.”

After a few polite words and friendly good-byes, Fran

was left alone. “You’d better make him happy, Jack Randall.”
She huffed at her own ramblings, knowing there was no
question Rick was with his true soul mate.

ICK

steered the car in a familiar yet surprising direction.

“We’re heading to the Boston Garden?”

“Yeah. I need our special haven.”

“Okay.”

The two walked hand in hand across the grassy oasis in

the middle of the city and ducked into their secluded spot.

Holding hands with Rick had become as commonplace

to  Jack  as  brushing  his  teeth.  He  couldn’t  imagine  a  time
he’d  get  tired  of  the  simple  gestures  of  love  the  two  shared
daily. The nightly tricks of the past had faded into a distant
memory.

In a month, the two had become more than just a

couple. They were a part of each other’s lives in a way
neither ever expected. Jack smiled at the thought of Rick
doing the simplest things—flipping a hamburger, changing a
light bulb, or reading quietly.

Rather than bringing resentment or regret into their

lives, Rick’s resignation had bolstered his self-confidence.

A Risk Worth Taking | Carolyn LeVine Topol

He’d already acquired several private clients, none of whom
thought twice about transferring their accounts to Rick after
he left M.J. Trust and Associates.

In addition, their love life couldn’t have been more

exciting. Jack was shocked at how creative and enthusiastic
a  lover  Rick  had  become.  The  contentment  and  equal
partnership  in  their  day-to-day  lives  extended  into  their  sex
life and far exceeded any expectations Jack previously had of
a monogamous relationship. There was an added energy and
depth,  different  from  anything  he  had  ever  experienced
before  he  met  Rick.  He  began  to  see  why  Steve  was  never
bored with  Tom… and always had a smile on his face when
referring to his husband.

Jack admired his lover—partner—and hoped they would

become more someday. Fuck, he wanted it all now, but with
Jack’s  clubbing  and  tricking  history,  he  assumed  it  was
unlikely Rick would be willing to trust him enough to make a
commitment this soon. Jack had spent too many years going
from  one  nameless  ass  to  the  next.  Knowing  Rick  already
seemed  to  overlook  his  past,  Jack  was  prepared  to  do
anything  necessary  to  maintain  and  continue  earning  his
partner’s respect.

The two sat against the largest tree, and Rick placed his

arm across Jack’s shoulders.

“I’m glad I brought you here that first time. It was one of

the most spontaneous and best decisions I’ve ever made.”
Jack closed his eyes and gently rested his head in the crook
of Rick’s neck.

“This place has some kind of crazy magic.”

Jack nodded, content. “I always thought so. It felt safe.

Still does.”

A Risk Worth Taking | Carolyn LeVine Topol

“I hope you feel safe with me.”

“Always.”

“Good.” Rick squeezed Jack’s arm. “I’ve never felt more

secure in my life. No matter what happens, knowing you’re
by my side is all that really matters.”

“I’m glad—the feeling’s mutual.”

“Well, okay then.”

Jack turned to face Rick, curious as to what his lover

meant by those words—why the way Rick said them gave
him an adrenalin rush accompanied by the sense of an
unfamiliar energy enveloping them both.

Rick took Jack’s hand in his. “I know we’ve been

together for a short time, but neither of us are kids.”

Eyes wide, Jack’s breath hitched.

“If you dare to take one more chance with me, I’d be

proud and damn thrilled if we got married as soon as the
divorce is final… especially now that I found the right man.”

There was a moment where Jack wondered why he

wasn’t shocked by Rick’s proposal. Instead, he experienced
relief and a profound sense of joy.

“Rick, I’m not sure how good a husband I’ll be, but I’ll

give it the fucking best I have if you really want to take the
risk.”

“You’re a risk worth taking—forever. I have no doubts.”

Under the shade of several large trees, the lovers

embraced, neither certain of what the future might hold, but
both taking comfort in knowing they would face it together.

Born in Brooklyn,

AROLYN

INE

OPOL

grew up just

outside  New  York  City.  Three  passions  dominated  her  life:
reading,  writing,  and  theater.  Having  always  dreamed  of
writing her own version of The Great American Novel, it took
her  many  years  to  discover  her  most  heartfelt  stories  took
their  form  in  the  creation  of  M/M  romances.  Sharing  her
writing with a small circle of online friends, Carolyn received
advice, encouragement, and joy from their feedback.

Spending her days working as an executive assistant in a
synagogue, Carolyn relishes the quiet wee hours of the
morning to lose herself in writing of the loves, passions, and
adventures driving her characters.

With  the  backing  of  a  supportive  husband  and  two  young
adult  children,  Carolyn  continues  to  explore  the  fabulous
world  of  gay  romance  with  the  philosophy  “Every  person
deserves their happy ending.”

Visit her web site at http://www.carolynlevinetopol.com and
her blog at http://carolyn-l-topol.livejournal.com. You can
contact her at cstopol@gmail.com.

Also by

AROLYN

INE

OPOL

http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com

Don’t miss this by

AROLYN

INE

OPOL

http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com

A Risk Worth Taking ©Copyright Carolyn LeVine Topol, 2010

Published by
Dreamspinner Press
4760 Preston Road
Suite 244-149
Frisco, TX 75034
http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the
authors’ imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead,
business establishments, events or locales is entirely coincidental.

Cover Art by Anne Cain annecain.art@gmail.com
Cover Design by Mara McKennen

This book is licensed to the original purchaser only. Duplication or distribution via any means is
illegal and a violation of International Copyright Law, subject to criminal prosecution and upon
conviction, fines and/or imprisonment. This eBook cannot be legally loaned or given to others. No
part of this eBook can be shared or reproduced without the express permission of the publisher. To
request permission and all other inquiries, contact Dreamspinner Press at: 4760 Preston Road, Suite
244-149, Frisco, TX 75034 http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/

Released in the United States of America
May 2010

eBook Edition
eBook ISBN: 978-1-61581-427-5

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