AMERICANBOYFRIEND

LOVEININDIANA

CHANCECARTER

Contents

Indiana

PersonalInvitation
AlsobyChanceCarter

I

I N D I A N A

pressyoutightagainstthebookshelves,myrockhardpelvispinning

youinplace.Ihaveyoulockedinfrontofme,rightwhereIwantyou,and
there’snoescape.You’retheonewholedmedownhere,nowI’mgoingto
showyoujustwhatyou’reinfor.

“You know I can’t resist you in those blue and gold’s, honey,” I

whisperintoyourear.

You’vealwayslookedsoadorableinmycolors.Igetabonerfromyour

loyalty.

“WhyelsedoyouthinkItextedyoufromthelibrarythislateatnight?

Ialwaysstarthavingdirtythoughtsdownhereinthearchives.”

“Younaughtygirl.”
“Oh,youloveit,Tony.”
“DamnrightIdo.”
I keep you trapped in place, it’s easy when I’m so big and you’re so

small.Ikissyourneckinthespotjustbelowyourear.Itmakesyouwild.

Cheerleaders.
WhenyoudoyourflipsintheairandIseeyourpantiesforthatquick

second, well, let’s just say it’s a good thing you only do it at half-time.
OtherwiseI’dnevercatchaball.We’dbelastintheleague.

Youkeepmymoralehighallseasonlong,ifyouknowwhatImean.My

moraleisprettyhighrightnow,too!Sohighit’spokingintoyou.

Myhandmovesupyourthighandintoyourshort,littleskirt.
Nopanties.Girl,youdrivemenuts.
“Someone left part of her uniform in her locker,” I say as my hand

caressesthenakedskinbetweenyourlegs.

“Everysecondcountswhenyou’reoutonthefield.Isn’tthatwhatyou

boysarealwayssaying,TonyJackson?”

Islidemyfingeroverthelipsofyourpussy,makingsureyou’rewetfor

me.

WhoamIkidding?Ofcourseyouare.
I push it deep inside your wet pussy and you flinch to get away but

you’repinnedthere.

“Easy,girl.I’mgoingtomakeyoumine.Righthereandnowbetween

these dusty old books. Unless you want me to stop. Do you want me to
stop?”

Youshakeyourhead.“Makemeyours,Tony.”
“Whatdidyousay,sweetgirl?”
“Isaid,Iwantyoutomakemeyours.Takemybodyanddowhatyou

wantwithit.I’myours.Allyours.Ialwayshavebeen.”

“Ihopeyoumeanit,becausewhenI’mdonewithyou,you’regoingto

bebeggingformercy.”

You give me a mischievous shrug, like you don’t have a worry in the

worldaboutwhatI’mabouttodotoyou.Igrin.

Igrabbothyourwristsandthrowthemaboveyourhead,holdingthem

tighttogetherwithoneofmystronghands.Igrabthetopofyourshirtina
fistwithmyotherhand.Ipullyoucloser,kissingyouintensely.

Kiss me harder, Tony. Something told me you’d want to be kissed

harder.You’rethetypeofgirlwhocannevergetenoughkisses.

Youbitemylip.
I twist your shirt even harder and you let out a delicate “ooh” as we

bothhearittearundermystrength.

“Youthinktheschoolwillmakemepayforthat?”yougiggle.

“I’ll tell them it was my fault,” I say with a wink. “They don’t let me

payforanythingaroundhere.”

Itugharder,rippingitevenmore,exposingyourbreastseversoslightly

through the fabric. That’s not good enough for me. I need to see more. I
pullharder,thefabricnowfallingoffyourtits,andIcanseethatnotonly
didyouforgettowearyourpanties,youforgotyourbratoo.

“Naughty,naughtygirl,”Isay.
“Oh,Tony,”youmoanseductively.
You keep your voice hushed, careful not to draw attention to us. The

library is quiet at this time of night but it’s not totally deserted. Some
peopleactuallycometoschooltolearn.

“Tony,howdoyouexpectmetogetoutofthelibrarylikethis?”
“That’snotourproblemnow,sweetie.That’sourproblemlater.”
Youreachdownandgivemyrigidcockasqueezethroughmypants.
“Sothen,what’sourproblemnow,mister?”
“Ourproblem,darling,isthatIcanseeyou’vebeenverynaughty.No

braandnopanties.Tsktsk.WhatwillIeverdowithyou?HowamIgoing
topunishyouforthisterrible,terriblebehavior?”

“Youcanstartbykissingmelikeyoumeanit.”
Thereyougoagain,beggingtobekissedharder.It’slikemykissesare

youroxygen.Youneedthemhard,youneedthemtrue,andyouneedthem
regular,likebreathing.

“Pardonme?”Itease.
“Youheardme.Youcallwhatyoudidtomymouthakiss?IfIdidn’t

knowbetterI’dswearthiswasyourfirsttimeputtingyourhot,wetlipson
awoman.”

Alwayswiththesass.Youreallyneverwilllearn,willyou?Youhave

noideawhat’sinstoreforyou.

Keeping your hands pinned above your head, I grab your breast,

twistingyournipplesoftlybetweenmyfingers.YoumoanandIcrushmy
lips onto yours, kissing you more deeply and passionately than I’ve ever
kissedanyonebefore.

Youleanyourheadsofarbackthatbooksfalltothegroundfromthe

shelf behind you. You smile. I twist your nipple a little harder while I
nibbledownonyourlipandit’sagoodthingmypelvisisstillpressedso
hard against yours. I feel your knees give out, and know you’d have
collapsedifIwasn’tholdingyouup.

I release my grip on one of your wrists and your arm falls in front of

you. Instinct kicks in. Right away you begin unbuttoning the top of my
pants, twisting your fingers around the buttons as you unhook them
expertly.Iloveit.Youknowexactlywhattodo.Icantellthatusuallyyou
lovebeingtoldwhattodo,butsometimeswordsjustaren’tneeded.

YoutrytoslipyourhandfurtherintomypantsbutI’mstillpressedup

hardagainstyouandI’mnotlettingyouinthateasy,younaughtygirl.

You still try to get access to my rock hard shaft, tugging away at my

jeans with what force you can, but I start slipping my free hand back up
intoyourskirt.

“Whatever happened to ladies first?” you protest. “Some gentleman

youare.”

“Trustme,honey,”Isay,smilingwickedly.“Idobelieveinladiesfirst.”
Isnapyourhandoffmyjeans,grabbingyourwristandtakingcontrol

oncemore.

“Tellme,”Isay,“areyouwet?”
“I’mdripping,baby.”
“You want me? You want my shaft in that sweet, sweet pussy of

yours?”

“Iwantyousobad.”
“Thensaymyname.”
“Iwantyousobad,TonyJackson.”
“We’llgoalltheway,rightbaby?”Isay.
Younodyourheaduncertainly,wonderingwhereI’mgoingwiththis.
Ilickyourlips,runningmytongueoveryourbottomliplikeit’syour

pussy and I’m teasing your clit. You moan into my mouth as I take your
handandbringitunderyourskirtwithmine.

Yougasp.
My hand guides yours over the delicate folds of your clit. Together,

we’rebothcaressingandfeelingeverybitofyou.Islidemyfingeroverthe
lips of your pussy, then, taking your finger, I slide both yours and mine
insideyouatthesametime.Ileadyourfingerallthewayin.

Fuck,that’ssohot.Ifeelmycockthrobbingwithdesire,readytocum.
“Doyoufeelthat?”Igasp.
“Yeah,” you moan softly, so overcome by sensation your legs are

quivering.

I move our fingers in and out of your pussy together. They glide so

easily. The thrusts become stronger and more intense each time. You
breathemoreandmoreheavily.

Iputmylipsonyoursasourhandscontinuetoworktogether,fucking

you,curlinginsideyou,coaxingyoutotheedgeoforgasm.

“Whatdoyoufeel?”Isay.
“Wet.”
“Whatelse?”
“Good.Sogood,Tony.”
Ikeepourhandswoundtightlytogether,rockingthembackandforth

in your pussy, making sure to hit all the sweet spots over and over again.
You’rehavingtroublestandingagain,younaughtygirl.

I’m holding all of your weight. Without me you’d be writhing on the

floorinecstasy.

“Youwanttocum,baby,don’tyou?”
“Tony,”yougasp.
“Cumforme,baby.Cumnow.”

W

HEN

IT

’

S

game time and we’re out on the field, you play the part of

innocent cheerleader so well. Your long hair tied back tightly with bows
andribbons,bouncinginunisonwithyourtitsandassasyoujumparound

thefield.Asweet,beautifulsmileonyoursweet,beautifulface.

Youwinkatalltheboys.
It’syourjobtogeteveryoneexcitedanddamn,you’regoodatyourjob,

honey.IttakesalotofeffortformetostayfocusedonthegamelikeIdo.I
havetoactlikeIdon’tseeyousittingthereonthesidelines,watchingme,
gigglingwithyourgirlfriends.

Youtalkandlaughwiththegirlsandthenyoulookoveratmeandpart

yourlegs,eversoslightly.YouthinkIdon’tnotice,butIalwaysdo.

Ican’tresistyouandyouknowit.
I also happen to know you’re the naughtiest girl on that field. You

might wear your panties when it’s time to cheer, but I can’t say I was
surprisedyoushowedupbaretonight.

Ihavetosay,IwasdelightedwhenIgotyourtext.
Delighted.
That’snotawordafootballerlikemeuseslightly.
Ifirstsawyouatamixerfortheteamafewmonthsago.Therewewere,

players and cheerleaders, circling each other like two packs of wolves
beforeafight.

Inoticedyourightaway,assoonasIwalkedintotheroom.I’llnever

forgetit.Ievenrememberexactlywhatyouwerewearing,alittleblueskirt,
cut like the ones you wear with your uniform, and a black t-shirt with a
scoopneck,Ithinktheycallit.

Perfectchoice,honey.
It dipped down just enough to give a peek at your breasts but not so

deepthatyouwereputtingonashow.Sweetandsexy,naughtyandnice.I
couldtellrightthenyouweretheperfectmix.

You caught me staring at you and gave me a knowing look, flipping

your gorgeous hair off your shoulder and then turning away from me and
backtoyourfriends.

Youtease.
Inevertoldyouthis,butyouwerethemostbeautifulgirlIeversawin

my life. From one look, I could tell right away you were the girl I would

fallinlovewith,youweretheonemeantforme.

The way you were sitting there that night, I’ll always remember how

youlookedandhowyoumademefeel,thenaughtylookyougaveme,the
teasingtwinkleinyoureye.

ButIdidn’tactonit.
It’smyfirstyearwiththeteam,myfirsttimewearingtheblueandgold.

Iwasnervousenoughasitwas.Iwasn’treadytostarthittingonthehottest
girlI’deverseen.Ihadenoughtoworryabout.

IhatethatIdidn’ttalktoyouthatnight,Ijustlaughedanddrankbeer

withtheguys.Ididn’ttalktoanyothergirlseither.Imadepleasantriesand
saidhello,butIcouldn’tgetyououtofmymind.

Igotworseafterthat.Ireallyhadtofocusontheteamandmystudies.I

needed to keep my grades up to stay on the team. It was important to me
andtomyfamily.I’malegacy.Mydadandallhisbrothersplayedforthe
team.Ihavetomakethemproud.

I’mtheonlysonmyfatherhad.Hepassedawayjustbeforemysenior

yearofhighschool.InevergottotellhimwhatcollegeIwasacceptedto,
or even that I applied here. I believe, though, that he’s watching over me
now,thatheknowseverythingI’mdoing.

That’s what my mom tells me. She says dad’s watching over me,

guidingme,andthathe’sproudofthemanI’vebecome.

I swear, sometimes when I play ball, I feel his spirit lifting me and

guiding me down the field. Even though he’s gone, I know I wouldn’t be
whereIamtodaywithouthim.Ipraytohimandthankhimeverydayfor
thegiftshe’sgivenme.

So, as badly as I wanted to focus my attention on you, I didn’t have

time to focus on girls, relationships, and sex. I had to focus on books,
football practice, and making my family proud. You and I were at all the
sameparties,butIneveroncespoketoyou.EventhoughIwantedtowith
allmyheart,Icouldn’tdistractmyself.

Avoidingyouneverworked,though.Notforasecond.Youwerealways

on my mind and my grades started to slip as a result. All I could think

about was you and how badly I wanted you. I wanted you to be mine. I
wantedyoutowearmynumber.Iwantedyoutobemygirl.Duringgames,
I’dseeyouonthesidelines,watchingme.AndIwassureyouhadathing
formetoo.

When you know something’s right, how can you go on with your life

and ignore it? How can you deny your heart the one thing it craves? You
andIweremeanttobe,andeverydaythatpassed,Iknewitmoreandmore.

Beforeweeverspoke,myheartwantedyou,itbelongedtoyou,butit

alsobelongedtofootball.Iwastorn.

Itbrokemyheart.IfeltlikesomeoneIlovedhadbeentakenawayfrom

me, even though I never actually had you in the first place. It wasn’t the
samesortofheartbreakIfeltwhenIlostmydad.Thiswasdifferent,butin
a way it was worse. It was worse because I knew there was something I
coulddoaboutit.TherewassomethingIhadtodoaboutit,butIwasso
firmlyonmytrackIdidn’tdare.

Timepassed.
Mygradessufferedandsodidmystrengthonthefield.HowcouldIbe

expectedtogivemyfullhearttotheteamwhenitfeltlikemyheartwasn’t
complete?

So there I was, sitting on my bed, listening to music, and I got a text

fromanumberIdidn’trecognize.

Itwasaheart.
IfigureditwasaprankfromoneoftheguysontheteamsoIignoredit.
ThenIgotanothertext.
Aquestionmark.
Iignoredthattoo.
ThenIgot,“Heynumbersix.”
Man,thoseguyswerepersistentandIjustwasn’tinthemood.
Then,“What’sagirlgottadotogetalittleattention??”
Ifthiswastheguys,itwasjustgettingmean.
Thenexttextwasaphotoattachment,andthatsingletextchangedmy

entirelife,myentireworld.

Reluctantly I opened it, expecting it to be a dick-pic from one of the

guys.Butitwasaphotoofyou,lookingsosweet,holdingapieceofpaper
thatsaid,“Hello...?”

Callmeanidiot,butIstillsuspecteditwastheguys.Maybethey’dput

youuptoit.Therearealotofpranksonourteam.

So I finally texted back, “Not cool guys. Grow a pair and go get a

girlfriendorsomething.Fuck.”

I watched the little dots bounce for a while on the message screen.

ThenIflippedmyphoneoversoIcouldn’tseeitanymore.I’dhadenough.

I was about to doze off when I felt the phone vibrate. It jolted me

awake.

Anothertext.
Ugh.
Iflippedmyphonebackoverbutthentherewasanothervibration.And

another.Andanother.

Fuckoff.
Isatup,readytogetmad,whenIsawthetexts.
“Youmeanapairlikethese?
Ihopeyoulikethem.”
There was another photo attachment. I looked at the little envelope.

Wasthisreal?

If I opened this attachment and it was some guy’s balls ... I swear to

God.

Iclickedthedownloadbutton,anditwasyou.
I hadn’t seen it clearly in the first picture, but you were wearing that

sameblackt-shirtyou’dbeenwearingthefirsttimeIsawyou.

In this photo you were bent over a little, just enough that I could see

right down your sexy cleavage. Your pair was a pair of perfectly formed,
perfectlysexybreasts.

Theimagepoppedintomyheadofmylong,hardcockslidingbetween

thatcleavageandcummingalloverthem!

Iwonderedifyouwerewearingthatshirtonpurpose.

Hadyoubeenthinkingaboutmesincethatnighttoo?
Idon’tknowwhysomegirlsthinktheygottaputitallouttheretogeta

guy’s attention. That’s why I loved this picture of you. It was a normal
picture,justalittlenaughty,butitgotmerockhardforyouinonesecond.

Youaregorgeous,honey.AndIloveeverythingaboutyou.
Irepliedback.
“Ireallylikeyou.”
Shit.Autocorrect.
“Imean,youlooknice.”
“Fuck,sorry.Thatwasawkward.”
Thethreelittledotsbouncedatthebottomofthescreen.Wasthisover

beforeitbegan?ThisiswhyIneveropenmymouth.

“No,itwascute.”
“Cute,great.That’swhatI’mgoingfor.”
“Lol.”
“So,howdidyougetmynumber?”
“Iaskedoneoftheguysforit.I’vebeenwaitingwaytoolongforyou

tomakeamove,hotshot.Ihadtotakemattersintomyownhands.”

“Well,I’mgladyoudid.”
“Ohreally?Isthatso?”
Let’sjustsaythingsgotprettyhotfromthere,andtookaturnforthe

naughty.Itwaswild.Weneverspokebeforethatday,butalreadywewere
so comfortable with each other, completely able to express ourselves,
holdingnothingback.

Wetextedfromthatmomenton,prettymuchwithoutabreak,untilthe

nexteveningwhenyousentthatonesupernaughtytextmessage.

“It’stimeformetogostudy,Tony.Ihavetogodeepintothearchives

ofthelibrarytofindwhatIneed.Ilikegoingwhenit’sdarkout,thelibrary
gets quiet and there’s no one around. The book I’m looking for is in row
six.Funnycoincidence,isn’tthat?”

“Destiny,”Iwrote.
“Talktoyoulater,TonyJackson.”

S

O

,hereweareinrowsixandyou’rejustabouttocum.I’mreplayingall

ofthelastsixmonthsinmyhead,fromthefirstsecondIsawyouuntilthe
momentyousentthattextjustafewminutesago.

You’re on the verge of orgasm, ready to collapse on the floor, and

there’snothingIwantmorethantomakelovetoyou.Idon’tjustwantto
make love to you, I want to be yours, and I want you to be mine, forever
andever.

And,suddenly,Irealizethisisn’thowit’ssupposedtogo.
When you want to spend the rest of your life with a girl, when you

knowthatyouloveher,insideandout,andyoucanjusttell,youcanjust
feel,thatit’sreal,youdon’tmakehercumlikethisthefirsttimeyoumeet.

Thisisn’thowitssupposedtohappen.
Thisisn’tthestoryI’mgoingtotellourgrandkids.
WhentheyaskaboutthefirsttimeIwentoutwithyou,amIgoingto

tellthemthis?

Hellno.
Iletgoofyourhandandlookdeeplyintoyoureyes.
Youlookbackatmepuzzled,confused,andalittlefrustrated.I’mused

tothatlook.Peoplehavebeengivingittomemywhole,entirelife.Idon’t
doanythinguntilI’mgoodandready,butwhenIdoit,Idoitright.

“Can’tfinishthejob,Tony?”yousayplayfully.
“Can’tfinishsomethingthathasn’tevenstarted,honey.”
Youlookevenmoreconfused.
“Thisisn’tright,”Isay.“I’msorry.Youdon’thavetodothistogetmy

attention.”

“Dowhat?”yousay.
Iwigglemyfingerwhichisstillinsideyou.
Yousquirmthenpullbothofourfingersoutofyoursoakingpussy.
“Excuseme,”yousay,offendedthatI’vestoppedwhatweweredoing.

“Ididn’trealizeIwasmakingafooloutofmyself.”

Igrabyourwristandpullyourhandupinfrontofus.
“Oh,youcouldn’tmakeafoolofyourselfifyoutried,”Isay,andput

yourhandrightuptomymouth.

I suck your finger. You taste so delicious my cock throbs harder than

ever.Youfeelitpulsingagainstyourwaistandlookintomyeyes.

“Whatareyoudoing?”
“WhatamIgoingtotellourgrandkids?”Isay.
You look at me confused. “Our grandkids? You’re crazier than they

said.”

“Sorry,”Isay.“I’vealwaysbeensobadatthis.”
“Atwhat?”
“Atspeakingtoabeautifulwoman.”
Thatsoftensyouup.Yousmile.
“Look,Iwantthisasbadlyasyoudo.Butyoudon’thavetogivemea

teenage fantasy to get my attention. You’re more than just another
cheerleadertome.FromthefirstsecondIseteyesonyou,you’vehadmy
attention.I’vebeenthinkingaboutyouformonths.”

“Oh,youhave?AndhowwasIsupposedtoknowthat?”
“Youweren’t,”Isay.“Ineversaidanything.ButIshouldhave.”
“Damnright,youshouldhave.”
“IwasafraidI’dblowit.OrI’dlosefocusandblowmyseason.”
“Whatareyoutalkingabout?”
“Look,”Isay,“thesecondyouflippedyourhairatmeatthatmixerat

the start of the year, ever since that moment, I’ve been yours. I swear to
God.”

I lean a little bit harder into you with my pelvis. I want you to know

howseriousIamrightnow.Mycockisrigid,pressedfirmlyagainstyour
waist,andyoulookdownandthenbackupatme.

“Youwantme,don’tyou?”
“You’redamnright,Iwantyou,”Isay.“Iwantyourighthereandnow.”
“Butwe’regoingtobehave?Forthegrandkids?”
Ilaugh.

“Believeme,IknowhowridiculousIsound.”
“Oh,youdo?”
Inod.
“Areyousure,becauseasfarasI’maware,wedon’thaveanykidsor

grandkids,”yousay,teasingme.

“Notyet,”Isay,holdingyourgaze.“Butwewill.”
“Yousureareconfident.”
“Thisisreal,girl,andI’mgoingtodoitright.There’snofuckingway

I’m telling our grandkids that our first date was me fingering you in the
schoollibrary.Whenwegetengagedandeveryoneaskshowwemet,amI
supposedtosay,wellitallstartedwhenItoreopenhershirtinthedarkof
night? No. That’s not what I’m going to say. I’m going to tell everyone
aboutthemagicalfirstdatewehadandI’mgoingtotellthemabouthow,as
soonasIsawyou,IknewyouwerethegirlIwasgoingtomarry.There’sno
wayinhellI’mgoingtojeopardizethat.Soyoulistenhere,andyoulisten
good.You’regoingtotakemyjerseyrightnowandyou’regoingtoputit
on.That’sstepone.Anyonewhoseesthatwillknowyou’remine.You’re
going to wear my colors and you’re going to wear my number and you’re
goingtowalkpasteveryoneinthislibrarywearingmyshirt.Thenextthing
is,you’regoingtogohomeandIamgoingtogohome.”

“Gohome?Babe,youcan’tdothattome,”yousay,pressingyourself

againstme.

“You’regoingtogohomeandyou’regoingtowait.I’llcallyou.”
“Youbetternottakelong.”
“I’mgoingtoaskyououtandI’mgoingtotakeyousomewherenice,

becausethiswillnotbehowtherestofourlifebegins.”

“Therestofourlives?”
“That’sright.Youreadytobemygirl?”
Very slowly, you look up into my eyes. You start to peel yourself off

me. I step back and you pull off what’s left of your cheerleading top and
dropittotheground.Thenyougrabthebottomofmyjerseyandpullitup
overmyheadandthenbackdownoveryours.

“I’myourgirlnow,”yousay.
“Yesyouare.Luckynumbersix.”
“Youbettertreatmeright,mister.”
“Oh,Iswear,youhavenoidea.”
Youtakemyhandandleadmethroughthelibrary,mynumberonyour

backforalltosee.LikeIsaid,I’vegotyourightwhereIwantyou,nowand
forever.

T

P E R S O N A L I N V I T A T I O N

hishasbeenanaughty,sexy,sinfullydelightfulChanceCartershort

story.IpublishanAmericanBoyfriendstoryeverySunday,bringingyoua
newbookboyfriendtofantasizeanddreamabout.Mygoalistomakeyou
feellikethegirlinthestory.

Ifyou’dlikeanewbookboyfriendeveryweek,

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xoxo
ChanceCarter

A L S O B Y C H A N C E C A R T E R

Don’tmisstheoriginaleroticadventureinmyBadBoySeries,thestoryofJacksonandFaith.

BadBoyDaddy

Hewantedababy.Ineededaman.

Faith

ThefirsttimeIsawJackson,Ihatedhisguts.HewaseverythingIcouldneverhave.Pure,

panty-wetting,manhood.AndIwastrappedinalovelessrelationshipwithhisworstenemy.I
neverwouldhavedreamedhecravedmywombsobadlyhewaswillingtodoanythingforit.

Jackson

Myfather'sdeathtaughtmealotofthings.Mostimportantly,Ineededachild.Ihadtohavea

sonbeforemyenemiescaughtupwithme.SowhenFaithcamebeggingforprotection,Iknew

exactlywhatIwanted.Iyearnedforherbody.Lustragedthroughmelikeawildfire.Ilonged

tomakeherpregnantwithmychild.Igaveheranoffershecouldn'trefuse.Alifeforalife.My

protection,inexchangeforeverythingshehadtooffer.I'ddieforher,butshewouldgivemea

son.

Itookherwomb.Ineversuspectedshe'dtakemyheart.

C H A P T E R 1

F A I T H

ThefirsttimeIsawhim,Ihatedhisguts.

HewasthesexiestcreatureonGod’sgreenearth,andhewasallthethingsIwouldneverhave.Hewas
cocky,arrogant,andconfident,butinnoneofthewaysIwasusedtowithWolf.

HewalkedintotheLosLoboshangoutlikeheownedtheplace.Hewaslateforhisappointmentandfora
briefmoment,Iwonderedwhathetoldtheguardsforthemtolethimpast.Iwastheonlyonestillinthe
bar,enjoyingararemomenttomyself.

“I’mlookingforWolf,”hesaid.

Ishrugged.“You’relate.”

Iwasdifferentinthosedays.Iwasn’thappywiththehandlifedealtme,andItookitoutonwhoeverI
could.I’mnotproudofthewayIwas,butthingsweregettingdesperateformeandIwastooafraidto
admitI’dmadeamistake.WolfStatenwasmymistake—acruel,brutishmistake—amistakeIcouldnever
unmake.

“Well,whateveryoudo,don’ttroubleyourself,”hesaid,anarrogantsmileonhislips.

Wasthisjerktauntingme?

Thetruthwas,IwassickofLosLobosandtheirsmooth-talking,tattooedmusclemen.Thefactthatthis
onehadarmslikeMarkWahlbergandasmiletomatchdidn’tchangethat.Hewasacriminal,justlikethe
others,andifhewantedtospeaktoWolf,hecoulddamnwellshowupontimelikeeveryoneelse.

“Oh,I’msorry,Ididn’trealizeIwassupposedtojumptoattentioneverytimeaguylikeyouwalkedin.”

“Youalwaysthisfriendlytoyourpotentialpartners?”

“You’renotmypotentialanything,”Isaid.

“Youdon’tknowthat.”

Ilookedintohiseyes.Somethingabouthisconfidencebuggedthecrapoutofme.Icouldn’tsaywhat.
UsuallywhenpeoplecametoLosLobos,theywerescaredtodeath.Thisguylookedlikehewasona
morningstrollthroughthepark.

“Yes,Ido,”Isaidpointedly.

Heheldmeinhisgaze,thenshrugged.“Youmightbesurprised.”

“MightI?Idoubtit.”

“Strangerthingshavehappened.”

Hewasinfuriating.

“Forgetit,”Isaid.“Whateveryou’rethinking,forgetit.Thenforgetwhatyouforgot.Youlooklikethe
kindofguywhocouldmanagethat.”

Heletoutalaugh.

Myeyesglancedoverhischiseledchestandtorso,visiblethroughhistightshirt.God,hewassexy.

“Anyoneevertellyouyou’retouchy?”hesaid.

“I’vegotmyreasons,”Isaiddefensively.

“Ibetyoudo,”hesaid,lookingaroundthebar.

Ididn’tknowifhewasagreeingwithmeorchallengingme.Ididn’tknowhowtoreadhim.Hewasfrank
anddirect,didn’tplaygames,andintheworldIlivedin,gamesweretheonlythingthatmattered.

“Wecoulddothisallday,”Isaid,“butI’mnotinthemoodforbanter.”

“Haveityourway.YouknowwhereIcanfindhim?”

“Who?”Isaid,knowingfullwellwhohemeant.Iwasprolongingourinteractionwithoutevenrealizing
it.WasIthatlonelyforrealcontact?

“Wolf.”

“I’msorry,istheresomethingaboutmethatgivesyoutheimpressionI’mhissecretary?”

“Jesus.Whatisitwithyou?Justtellmewhereheis.”

“Fine.He’sgone.Theyallare.Youmissedthem.”

“Shit,”hesaid.

Inodded.“So,youknow,don’tletmekeepyou.”

I’dbecomeabitchandIknewit.Heknewittoo,buthetookitasachallenge.Hewasoneofthoseguys
whowantedwhathecouldn’thave.

Helookedatmeandasmilecrossedhisfacethatdrovememad.HewassosexyIhadtobitemylip.I
won’tsaywhatIreallywantedtobite.Itwasn’teverydayIwasalonewithaguylikethis.Wolfwastoo
jealoustoallowit.Thewaythisguylookedatmemademyheartspeedup.

“Girl,you’reluckyIdon’tcomeoverthereandteachyousomemanners.”

Amentalimageofhimbendingmeoverthebarandspankingmynakedbuttflashedbeforemyeyes.It
mademycheeksflush.

Hewascharmingashell.Hewasmytypetoo,sexy,thebadboylook,muscles,arawattitudethatexuded
confidence.IwantedhimtoleavesoIwouldn’tberemindedofallthethingsIcouldn’thave.

IalreadyknewhewasnothinglikeWolf.Thisguywouldbegoodtohisgirl.He’dtreatherright.He
wouldn’thither.Ihadexperienceinthatdepartment,andIcouldtell.Thetruthwas,thisguywas
everythingI’dgivenupforeverbygettinginvolvedwithWolf,anditwastorturetoseeit.

Iwantedhimtoturnaroundandwalkoutthedoor,butanotherpartofmewasdesperateforhimtostay.

“Manners?”Isaid.

Hisgrinstretchedfromeartoear.“Themannersyourdaddyshouldhavetaughtyou.”

Icouldn’tresist.“Youwouldn’thavethenerve,”Isaidand,despitemyintentions,gavehimaslysmile.

Thatgothisattention.Helookedatmeagainasifseeingmeforthefirsttime.Hiseyesdrankmeinfrom
headtotoe,staringatmyassandtitslongerthanwasnecessary.

“Tryme,”hesaid.

“Trustme,youdon’twanttogetmixedupwithagirllikeme.”

“Areyouthatdangerous?”

“Let’sjustsay,ifyoumessedwithme,you’dbetakingyourlifeinyourhands.”

Idon’tknowwhatgotmetalkingtohimlikethat.Itwasn’tlikemetoflirtwiththelowlifesthatdid
businesswithLosLobos.Idespisedallofthem.Buteverythingaboutthisguywasdifferent.Hehadballs.
InallthemonthsI’dbeenwithWolf,thiswasthefirsttimeI’dmetanyonewhoseemedtohavethenerve
torivalhim.

“Don’tyouknow?”hesaid,“Somethingsareworthriskingyourlifefor.”

“Somethings?”

“Sure.Somethings,”hesaidandlookeddownatmyassagainasifassessingme,checkingifIwasoneof
thosethingsworthtakingariskfor.Cockyprick.

Thewayhelookedatmemademefeeltheneedtoprovemyself.IrealizedIwassittingupstraightinmy
seat,shouldersback,breastspushedforward,thewaymymotherhadalwayswantedmetositwhenIwas
akid.Forthefirsttimeinmonths,Iactuallycaredwhatsomeonethoughtofme.

Hemeltedmyresistance.Istrugglednottoshowit.Icouldn’tletthisgoanywhere.AstemptedasIwasto
flirt,IwouldbeliterallytakingmylifeinmyhandsifIdid.

“Let’syouandmegoforawalk,”hesaid.

Ilaughed.“Awalk?”

Hewinked.Godhewasarrogant.Ilovedit.

“WhatmakesyouthinkIwanttogoforawalkwithyou?”

Hiseyebrowsrose.“Shapelylegs,tightass,Ibetyoucanwalkthefuckoutofthosepumps.”

Iburstoutlaughing.“Walkthefuckoutofmypumps?”Irepeatedoutloud.Icouldn’tbelievehe’dsaidit
likethat.

“Girl,IcantellanassassinwhenIseeone.”

IfWolfeveroverheardanythinglikethis,there’dbehelltopay.He’dstringmeupandhavehisthugsbeat
theshitoutofme.Buthe’dleftforVegas.

“Anassassin?”

“Anassassinoftheheart.”

Thatdidit.Iburstoutlaughingevenlouderthanbefore.IlaughedharderthanIhadinmonths.Hewas
playing,beingintentionallyridiculous,butitworked.Ifithadn’tbeenforthethreatofWolf’sjealousy,I’d
havegottenonthebackofhisbikeandriddenwithhimwhereverthehellhewanted.I’dalwaysbeena
suckerforacockybadboywiththegutstoletmeknowwhathewantedfromme.

“I’veneverheardanyoneusethatline,”Ilaughed.

Hewassmirkingnow.Heknewhe’dwonmeover.“It’snotaline.”

“Isn’tit?”

Hiseyescrawledoverme,lingeringonallthehotspots.Hehadsomenerve.Ihadtogivehimthatmuch.
Heknewhowtowalkintoaroom,spotwhathewanted,andgoforit.

“Well,beforeyougetcarriedaway,yououghttoknowI’mWolf’sgirl.”

“Isthatawarning?”

“I’djusthatetoseeanythingbadhappentoyou.”

Hetookaseatatthebarnexttome.Itwasaboldgesturegiventhateveryotherseatintheplacewas
empty.

“Whywouldanythingbadhappen?”hesaid.

“Well,youseemtobegettingideas.”

“Whatsortofideas?”

Ilookedaway.Hewastryingtogoadme.“YouknowwhatImean.”

Helookedrightatmewiththoseintenseeyes.Hisjawlookedlikeitwascutfrommarble.Iwantedtorub
myhandagainsttheshadowofhisstubble,justtofeelitsroughness.

“WhatifItoldyouIdon’tcarewhosegirlyouare?”

“What’sthatsupposedtomean?”

“Whatifyougotonmybikerightnow,androdebackwithmetoRioSecco?”

“Wolfwouldkillyou,”Isaid.

“Wolfcangofuckhimself.”

NoonespokethatwayaboutWolf.Wasthisatest?HadWolfsentthisguytoseehowI’drespond?I
wouldn’tputitpasthim.

“Whoareyou?”Isaid.

“Listen,I’mnotkidding.Icanseeyoudon’tlikethisshithole.Idon’tblameyou.Yourboyfriend’sscum.
You’retoogoodforhim.LosLobosareheartlessbastards.There’ssomethingbetter,andit’sjustaride
away.”

“Aseasyasthat?”Isaid.

“Sure.”

“We’dgobacktoyourplace?”

“Yeswewould.”

“Whatthen?”

“Thenwe’dfucklikerabbits.”

“Charming,”Isaid,butIwasn’tasunaffectedasIputon.

Mylipquiveredwithemotionthatseemedtorisefromnowhere.Itwasraw,amixtureofangerand
sorrow.Iwasn’tangryathim.IwasangryatthesituationIwasin,andthefactthatIcouldn’ttakehimup
onhisoffer,nomatterhowrighthewasaboutmylife.IwantedtocrybutIhelditin.

“Don’tthink,justdoit,”hesaid.“We’llbeinCaliforniabeforeWolfevenknowsyou’remissing.”

“Justdoit?”

“I’llshowyouwhatit’sliketobewitharealman.”

ForasecondIlostit.Islappedhimacrosstheface.Thatsurprisedhim.Ithadseeminglycomefrom
nowhere.Wheredidhegetoff?DidhehonestlythinkI’dthrowmyselfathimforsayingsomethinglike
that?EvenifIcould?Hewasinsane.Iputforceintothatslap,reallyhithimhard.Iknewithurt.

“Whatwasthatfor?”

“Don’teverspeaktomelikethat.I’mnotperfect,buttheleastIdeserveisrespect.Youdon’tevenknow
me.”

“Don’tI?”hesaid,tryingtolightenthemoodagain,butIwasn’thavingit.

“Fuckyou,”Isaid.

Iwasbeingunfair.Iwasblaminghimforallthatwaswronginmylife.ThroughhisshirtIcouldseethe
tattoosinkedintohisskin.Theywereintricateandsosexyonhisperfectchest.Iprayedhecouldn’ttell
howattractedtohimIwas.

“Look,IknowWolf.IknowLosLobos.Iknowhowtheytreattheirwomen.”

“Youdon’tknowshitaboutme.”

“Everythingdoesn’thavetobethewayWolfsaysitis.Noteveryone’safraidofhimandhiscocksucker
friends.”

“They’rekillers.”

“They’renottheonlykillers.”

“Oh,that’ssupposedtomakemefeelbetter?Leaveonecriminaltogetinbedwithanother?”

“Nowyou’retalking,”hesaid.

Hemademesoangry.Thiswasmylife,andhewastreatingmelikesomerandompickupinabar.I
supposetohimIwas.

“Andwhatthen?”Isaid.“Afteryou’redonewithme?Afteryou’vehadyourwaywithmeandI’vegiven
youeverythingyouwant?Whatthefuckthen?”

“Thenwegetmarried.Makebabies.Whitepicketfence.”

Islappedhimagain,harderthanthefirsttime.Itwassohardmyhandstung.Itookpleasurefromthefact
hischeekreddened.

Heshookhishead.I’dangeredhim.

Iwaswearingacheapnecklace,aheartpendantonasilverchain,andhegrabbeditinhisfistandyanked
it.Thechainsnappedandheputitinhispocket.Whatthefuckwasthatsupposedtomean?Thathe’d
stolenmyheart?Hehadn’tstolenshit.

“You’recruel,”Isaid.

“MaybeIam,butImeanteverywordIsaidtoyou.”

“Givememychainback.”

“Iwill,somedayfarinthefuture,whenyoudon’tevenrememberIhaveit.”

Iwasgoingtocry,andIdidn’twanthimtosee.Ididn’tevenknowwhy.Thisguywasaprimoasshole.
Hewastoyingwithmyemotions,pushingmybuttons.Heshouldhaveknownbetter.Heshouldhave
knownIwastrapped.Youdon’twalkuptoaslaveandaskthemtogoforawalk.It’snotfair.

Istormedoutofthebar.Assoonasthedoorslammed,Iburstintotears.Fuckhim.Howdareheplaywith
melikethat.Talkischeap.WhereIcomefrom,youeithergiveagirlwhatsheneeds,oryoushutthefuck
up.

Youdon’tgettotalkthetalkandnotdoanythingaboutit.

Hecouldkeeptheshittychain.Twentybuckswouldgetmeanewone.

Inthecomingweeks,Iforcedmyselftopushhimfrommymind.Andyet,nothingwasthesameafterthat.

Daysturnedtoweeksandthenmonths,andWolftreatedmeworseandworse.

Ididn’tevenknowthenameofthejackassfromthebar,butIcouldn’tforgethim.Icouldn’tforgetthat
therewassomeoneouttherewiththeballstosay,‘FuckWolfStaten.’

Andifhecouldsayit,whythehellcouldn’tI?

C H A P T E R 2

J A C K S O N

Thedayofmyfather’sfuneral.

Ialwaysknewitwouldbeaviolentdeath.WhatIhadn’tcountedonwasithavingsuchanimpactonme.
Itshookmeup,broughtmefacetofacewithmyownmortality.Iwasanonlyson,thelastoftheline,
everythingwouldendwithme.Thatdidn’tsitright.

Iwasoutonthehighway,headedtotheLosLoboshangout.Ihatedmeetingthoseguys.Theywerenasty,
andtheyhadnocluehowtolive—nocluehowtobemen.I’dseenthewaytheylockeduptheirwomen,
terrifiedthem,turnedthemintoslaves.Therewasnohonorinthat.

LosLoboswasasyndicateoftwelvegrade-Aassholes.Theywerekillers,drug-runners,human-
traffickers.Alltwelvedeservedtobeputintheground.ThefactthatIwasdoingbusinesswiththem
mademesicktomystomach.

IwasbuyinginformationfromthemfortheBrotherhood.Thatwasmygroup.Myfamily.Fourgrade-A
assholes,butnotlikeLosLobos.Weweredifferent.Westolemoney,butwedidn’thurtpeople.That’sa
subtledistinctiontomostpeople,buttousitwasreal.

Peoplethinkallcriminalsarethesame.They’renot.Callmebiased,butIlovedtheothermembersofthe
Brotherhoodasiftheyweremyrealbrothers.Theywererealmen.Menyoucouldtrust,menwho’ddo
whatneededtobedonewhenthechipsweredown.

Atsundownitstartedtorain.IwasonalonelystretchbetweenRenoandCarsonCityandtheglowofa
vacancylightcalledtomelikeabeacon.

Iwalkedintothemotelbarwithonethingonmymind—gettingfuckedup.It’snoteverydaytheybury
yourdaddy.

Certainnightsinyourlifearedifferentfromtheothers.Theforceofdestinyweighsonyou.Everything
thathappenedbeforeseemstohaveledtothatfatefulmoment.Everythingafterisaconsequence.

Thiswasoneofthosenights.Icouldfeelitinmybones.Ican’tsayIwasparticularlyclosetomyfather,
buthisdying,ittookthegroundoutfromunderme.ItmademerealizeIhadn’tyetachievedthemost
importantthinginlife.Iwasriskingeverythingonadailybasis,butIhadn’tplantedtheseedofthenext
generation.

Iwassoakedfromtherainbutdidn’tcare.Itookaplaceatthebarandslappedmyglovesandhelmeton
theseatnexttome.

“WhatcanIgetyou,cowboy?”thebartendersaid.

Ilookedaroundtheroom.Itwasadingyplace.Nottoomanycustomers.

“Yougotsugarbackthere?”Isaid.

Henodded.

“I’llhaveabourbonwithsugar.Thewaytheoldmanusedtodrinkit.”

“Icanmakeyouanoldfashioned,”hesaid.

“No.Justthebourbonandsugar.”

Heputashotglassinfrontofme.Idowneditinasinglemotionandaskedforanother.AsIdownedthe
next,thedoorslammedbehindme.Iturned.

Inwalkedtrouble.

C H A P T E R 3

J A C K S O N

Itwasagirl,littlemorethanakid,soakedtotheskin,makeuprunningdownherfaceinlong,black
streaks.Shecutatragicfigure—adrownedkitten—desperationwrittenalloverher.

Therewassomethingfamiliarabouther,andthenIremembered.Afewmonthsearlier,theLosLobosbar,
shewasWolfStaten’sgirl.Instantly,Icouldseewhatwasgoingon.Shewasontherun.

She’dactuallydoneit.She’dtakenherlifeintoherownhands.Shewasfleeingthemostsavagegroupof
menI’devercomeacross.

AndhowdidIreact?I’lltellyou.

Mycockstiffened.

I’mnotashamedtoadmitit.IwantedthisgirlbadlysincethatfirsttimeIseteyesonher.Itwasn’tany
normallust,itwasahunger.Ihadtohaveher.She’dinvadedmyfantasiesandIcouldn’tgetherbackout.
ItwasmonthssinceourfirstmeetinginthatbarinReno,andIcravedher.

Istaredather.

Twenty-fourhours.

That’showlongIgaveituntilWolfcaughtup.She’dbedeadbysundownthenextdayifIdidn’thelp.
TherewasnowayinhellLosLoboswouldletawomanlikeherescapethem.They’dmakeitamatterof
pride,andletmetellyousomethingaboutthecriminalunderworldIinhabit—thebiggertheasshole,the
greaterthepride.

Sheneededhelp,andwhoevergotinvolvedwouldpayaheftyprice.TwelvemembersofLosLobos,all
killers,allmeanasfuck.

Ilookedathermorecloselyandfuck,ifshedidn’ttakemybreathaway.Lightbrownhair,bigblueeyes,a
mouthmadeforpleasure.

Shewalkedstraighttothebar,andwhenshespoke,itwasliketherestoftheworldwentsilent.

“Bartender,”shesaid,“abeer.”

Thebartender’seyeswidenedwhenhesawher.“Miss,areyouallright?”

“Whywouldn’tIbe?”

“Youlook—”

“What?”shesaid,hereyesteady.

Heshruggedandgotherabeer.

Shepickedupthebottle,broughtittoherlips,andwhensheslammeditbackonthebaritwasempty.I
wasimpressed.Shedranklikeshemeantit.

Hersoakingdresswascompletelysee-through.Mydickpulsedwithdesire.Iwasn’tgoingtoletherslip
throughmyfingersthistime.Evenasshestoodatthebar,shiveringfromthecold,IpromisedmyselfI’d

fuckher.I’ddominateher.I’dbecomehermaster.

Shelookedupandcaughtmyeye.Inoddedtoherandtoldthebartendertogiveheranotherdrink.

“Thanks,”shesaid.

“Youseemlikeyoucoulduseit.”

Shelookedbackatme,achallengeinhereye,butshetookaswigfromthebottleallthesame.Shewas
actingtough,Iadmiredthat,butitwasclearshewasintrouble.Shewasrunningoutoftime,andshe
knewit.WhenWolfandhiscocksuckerfriendstrackedherdown,bye-byebirdie.

“Iknowyou,”shesaid.

“Yes,youdo.”

“You’retheassholethattriedtopickmeupinWolf’sbar.”

Ilaughed.Shehadn’tlostanyofherspunk.

“Ididn’ttrytopickyouup,”Isaid.“IfIremembercorrectly,youweresouptightonlyafoolwouldhave
triedthat.”

“Exactly,”shesaid,smirking.

“Oh,soI’mafool?”

“Well,youtriedsomething.”

Inodded.I’dgiveherthat.“MaybeIdid,”Isaid.“MaybeIdid.”

Acoysmilecrossedherlips.“Andnowyou’rebackformore.”

Ilaughed.“Right.Icameherelookingforyou,”Isaid,sarcastically.

“Well,you’rehere.”

“Iwasherefirst.”

“Noyouweren’t.Iwatchedyoucomein.”

“Youwatchedme?”

“Fromtheparkinglot.”

“Well,aren’tyoufullofsurprises?”Isaid.

Shelookedintomyeyesandlickedhertantalizinglips.Well,fuckme,butshewasmakingamove.She
wastryingtoplayme.Ihadtoadmirethat.SheknewwhatitwouldtaketoescapeWolf,andshewas
willingtopaytheprice.Thereweren’talotofpeoplewillingtoacceptrealitywhenitcametosituations
liketheoneshewasin.

Well,ifshewasgoingtoplayme,itwouldn’tcomeeasy.GettingamanmixedupwithWolfStatenwas
nosmallfeat.

“Lasttimewemet,Ipromisedyouwe’dfucklikerabbits,”Isaid.“Now,hereyouare.”

Shelookedhurt.Shedidn’tlikewhenIspokelikethat.Sheputherdrinkdownandwalkedstraightback
tothedoorshe’denteredthrough.Herhandwasontheknob.IfIdidn’tsaysomethingfast,she’dwalk

rightout.

“Wait,”Isaid.“Don’tgo.Ishouldn’thavesaidthat.”

“That’stwiceyou’vesaidthattome,likeI’mnothingmorethanafifty-dollarslutlookingtogetfucked.”

“You’reright.Iwasoutofline.Youhadeveryrighttoslapmelasttime.”

Shelookedrelieved.Iwascuttinghersomeslack,whichwaswhatsheneeded.Shecamebacktoher
seat.

“Lasttimewemet,youwereamassivedick,”shesaid.

“Iknow,”Isaid.“Ican’thelpit.Iwasbornwithit.”

Sheshookherhead.God,Icouldhavediedlookingintothoseeyes.Shewaslikeanangelfromheaven.

“Youjustcan’tstopyourself,canyou?”

Ishookmyhead.

Shesighed.Thenshesaid,mostlytoherself,“sizeisn’teverything.”

Ilaughed.Icouldn’tbelieveit.“Wasthatajoke?Wasthatajokefromthegirlwhosmackedtheshitoutof
melasttimewemet?”

Sheblushed.God,shelookedprettywhensheblushed..

“Youwereaskingforit.”

“Yes,Iwas,”Isaid.“Andyoudidn’thaveanytroubledishingitout.”

Sheshrugged.“Icangiveyoumoreifyouwant.”

“Pleasedon’t.ThisfaceisallI’vegotgoingforme.”

Shelookedmeover,takinginmyleathers,mywethair.

“I’msureit’snottheonlything.”

Ilaughedagain.Shewasworkingit.Don’tthinkforasecondIdidn’tknowexactlywhatwasgoingon.
Thethingwas,Iwantedtogetplayedbyher.

“What’syourname?”Isaid.

“Youfirst,”shesaid.

Ishookmyhead.Thepoorthing.Shehadnoideawhatshewasgettinginto.Shewaslikealambtothe
slaughter.She’djustescapedWolf.Littledidsherealize,shewastanglingherselfwithamonsterten
timesworse.

BelievemewhenItellyou,whatevershewasrunningfrom,whateverWolftriedtoforcehertodo,I
wouldmakeitlooklikechild’splay.ThethingsIwantedtodotoher,she’dcryoutformercy,she’d
screammyname,andthemoreshebegged,theharderI’dcome.

IfitwasWolf’sbedroomanticsshewasfleeing,shewasinforarudeawakening.Iwasapiston-fired,
turbo-charged,orgasmmachine.Iout-fuckedaherdofstallions.Iout-pumpedalocomotive.Ifshecame
tomehopingformercy,shewouldn’tfindany.

Shethoughtshewasplayingme?Please.

ShehadsomethingIwanted,andIwasgoingtohaveit.

Iputmydrinkdown.

“Myname’sJackson,”Isaid.“JacksonJones.”

“JacksonJones?”

“Jackson-motherfucking-Jones,”Irepeated,grinning.

Shesmiled,andIsweartherewasahintofseductioninthoselips.

“I’vegotaquestionforyou,Jackson-motherfucking-Jones.”

Shecouldaskanythingsheliked.AllIcouldthinkofwasbendingheroverthecounterandslidingmy
barecockinsideher,fillingherwithmyhotsemen.

Iwantedtofillhersofullofmycomeitwoulddripdownherlegsforweeks.Iwantedskintoskin,full
contact,wetorgasm.Iwantedtoputababyinsideher.Andinexchangeformyhelp,shewasgoingtolet
me.

“Whatisit?”Isaid.

Shehesitated.Shewasscared.Icouldtellshe’dbeencrying.Ifeltapangofpityforher,butthedesire
floodingmyveinswasstronger.

“Lasttime,yousaidyoudidn’tgiveafuckaboutWolfStaten.”

“Iremember.”

“Well,myquestionis,didyoumeanthat?”

Iletoutalittlelaugh.Mywordswerecomingbacktohauntme.I’dplayeditcockyandnowshewas
callingmeonit.

“Thatdepends,”Isaid.

“Onwhat?”

“Onwhat’sinitforme.”

Shelookeddeeplyintomyeyesasiftryingtoreadmysoul.Shewasonthevergeoftears.Sheneededmy
helporshewasdead.Webothknewit.Ithadtakenalotforhertoaskmyhelp,shewasaproudwoman
andIrespectedherforthat.

ButIwouldn’thelpherforfree.That’snotthewayitworked.Ineededsomethingfromher,andIneeded
hertoofferit.

“Wellthen,”shesaid,“IguessIhaveonemorequestionforyou.”

“Askwhatyouwant.Believeme,I’vegotnothingtohide.”

Shelookedintomyeyes.“Areyouagoodman,JacksonJones?”

Itwasn’tagame.Itwasaseriousquestionandshemeantit.Herlifedependedonit.Ilookedaroundthe
bar.Thebartenderwascleaningglasses.Theotherpatronshadscarcelynoticedher.

“Noone’severaccusedmeofbeingagoodman.”

“Butyouknowtheanswer,”sheinsisted.“Deepdown,youknow.Ifyouweretodietoday,whatwould
peoplesay?Wouldtheysayyouweregood?”

Ilookedintothosedeep,sapphireeyes.Theywerehypnotizing.Shehadastrangepoweroverme,aforce
ofattractionthatwasotherworldly.Maybeitwasbecausedeathwasonmymind,mortality.Idon’tknow,
butsomethingaboutherfeltsurreal,likeshe’dbeensentfromanotherworld.

Asmyeyesdrankherin,aburningragecoursedthroughmelikemoltenmetal.Iwantedtoownher,to
dominateher,tomakehermine.Myproperty.

Iwantedtoplungemycocksodeepinsidehershe’dnevereventhinkofanothermanagain.Iwantedher
toremembermynametoherdyingday.Iwantedtoruinherforallothers.Itshockedmehowviolentmy
passionforherwas.I’dneverfeltthatforanyone.

Thesimplicityofherquestionmademeanswerhonestly.

“AllIcantellyou,”Isaid,“isthatforallthebadI’vedone,Inevermeantanyharm.”

Itwasn’tlikemetosaythat.She’ddisarmedme.Inevergaveanyoneaglimpseofmytrueself.Itwasyet
anothersurprise.

Shenodded,asifitwastheanswershe’dbeenseeking.Shesmiled,anditbrokemyhearttoseethat
smile.Shehadthefaceofanangel,andIwasgoingtoruinher.

Iwantedtoknowwhathadhappenedtoher.Thedetails.WhathadWolfandLosLobosdonethatshe’d
finallymadearunforit?I’dkillthem,alltwelveofthem,ordietrying.Shedidn’tknowityet,butI’d
alreadymadeupmymind.

Andthenshesaidit,thosefourwordsI’dbeenwaitingmyentirelifetohear.Ididn’tevenknowituntilI
heardthem.

“Willyouhelpme?”

I’lltellyourightnow,therearemomentsinmylifeIalwaysknewwouldcome.Evenasaboy,Iknewmy
destinywouldleadtothis,aforkintheroad,wherethedecisionImadewoulddecidethemanIwasto
be.Everythingelseinmylifewouldfadeincomparisontotheimportanceofthisquestion.

IfIsaidyes,itwouldmeantheendofme.Instinctively,Icheckedthegunatmyhip.LosLobos,The
Wolves.EveryoneofthemwouldhuntmedownuntilIwasdead.

Itwouldonlyendinoneway.

AndIdidn’tcare.I’dgiveherwhatsheneeded.Ihadto.Butshe’dgivemewhatIneededtoo.Alifefora
life.

“I’llwarnyourightnow,”Isaid,“anyhelpfrommewon’tcomefree.BadthingswillhappenifIget
involved.You’llregretit.Isweartoyou.”

“Willyouhurtme?”shesaid.

Iwantedtotellhersomethingdifferent.IwantedtotellherIwasthemanshedeserved,someonewho
wouldsaveherandasknothinginreturn.IwantedtosayI’dtakeherawaytoalifeofhappinessand
safety.Iwantedtotellhershe’dhaveeverythingshedeserved.ButIcouldn’t.Iwasalotofthings,butI

wasnoliar.

“I’lldestroyyou,”Isaid.“I’lltaketheonethingyou’vegottogive,andI’lldrinkituplikeadesertdrinks
therain.I’llravageyouuntilyoubegmetostop.Andthen,justwhenyouthinkyoucan’ttakeanymore,
I’llravageyouagain.”

I’dgivenherfairwarning.Ifshestillwantedmyhelp,itwasonhernow.I’dtoldherI’dtakeeverything
shehad.ButIhadn’ttoldhertheonethingIwantedmost.Ihadn’ttoldhershe’dgivemeason.

Shelookedatme.Shelookedaroundthebar.Sheturnedandlookedbackatthedoor,weighingthe
alternative.Thensheanswered.

“Idon’thaveachoice,”shesaid.“Youcantakewhatyouwant.Youcanusemetothelastdrop.Justhelp
me.”

“Allright,”Isaid.“Butwhenthedustsettles,rememberitwasyouwhocametome.”

“I’llremember.”

“AndIwarnedyou.”

“Iwon’tforget.”

“YouaskedifI’magoodman.Thetruthis,I’mnot.”

C H A P T E R 4

F A I T H

WhatI’mabouttotellyou,itisn’tpretty.

CanIadequatelyexplainit?No.

CanIputitinawaythatwillmakemecomeacrossasanythingotherthanacompletewhore?Idoubtit.

Butthetruthismoreimportantthanperceptions,andthetruthiswhathappenedtome,thedecisionsthat

ledtothatfatefulnight,andtheconsequencesI’llhavetolivewithfortherestofmylife.

So,thetruth.

Thetruthis,I’dbeenstandinginthatmotelparkinglotforoveranhourwhenJacksonpulledin.AllI

knewwasthatIwasstillinNevada,andthatwasn’tfarenough.

ItwasrainingandIwassoakedtotheskin.Iwasshivering.Ihadnowheretogo,noonetoturnto.Itook

shelterunderabigtreeandIwaited.

I’dknowhimwhenIsawhim—that’swhatItoldmyself.Ijusthadtowait.Godwouldhelpme.Hehad

to.

AndallIhadtodowasthrowawayeverythingI’deverhopedfor,sacrificemyselfonthealtaroffate,

andprayIdidn’tgetintosomethingevenworsethanthelifeIwastryingtoescape.

Itsoundscrazy,andmaybeitwas,butuntilyou’reinthatsituation,youcan’tunderstandthefearthatled

metothatparkinglot.

WolfStatenwasapowerfulman.Aruthlessman.Hemadetherules,andmyjobwastoobey.Earlierthat

night,he’dtoldmehewasgoingtolockmeupinasecretapartmentofhisvilla.Noonebuthimwould

everlookatmeagain.Hesaiditwasbecausehelovedmesomuch,becauseIwassoprecioustohim.

Andapartofmewantedtobelievehim.AsagirlI’dalwaysdreamedofbeingsomeone’sprincess,of

beingsodesiredbyamanthathecouldn’tbearthethoughtofothermenlookingatme.

ButmylifewithWolfwasn’tthat.Thewayhetreatedmewasnotthewayaprincetreatedaprincess.The

longerIstayed,theworseitgot.Thejealousyandpossessivenesseclipsedallelse.Theviolencefinally

knockedrealityintome.

Therewasnoroomforloveinthatplace.Evenlockedinsideaprison,he’dfindreasonstopunishme,to

brutalizeme.AndifIeverhadhischild,thatbaby’slifewouldbealivinghell.

That’swhatgavemethecouragetotakemylifeintomyownhands.Scarcelytwohoursearlier,Islipped

outofthepartyhethrewinmyhonor.Itwassupposedtobemyfarewelltotheworld,thelasttimeanyone

buthimwouldeverseeme.

Fuck.That.

Fuckallofthem.

Everyoneatthatparty,alltwelvemembersofLosLobos,allourso-calledfriends,knew.Andnoneof

themevenbattedaneye.Noneofthemraisedafinger.Infact,theyapprovedofit.SuchwaslifewithLos

Lobos.

I’dheardrumorsofthemenlockingawaytheirfamilies,treatingtheirwomenlikeprisonersandslaves.

I’drefusedtobelieveit.NowIknewitwastrue.Wolfwantedmetolivetherestofmylifeina

windowlessbunker.

LikeIalreadysaid.Fuck.That.

WhenIfledthemountaintopvilla,IhadnoideawhereIwasgoing.Iranthroughtheforestlikeadeer

huntedbydogs.Ifellontherocks.Isliddownthegullies.AndwhenIreachedthehighway,Ididn’tcare

whopickedmeup.Ididn’tcarewhatdirectiontheywereheaded.Ididn’task.Ijustclimbedinandsat

silently.Iwouldgoanywhere,withanyone.Nothingcouldbeasbadasthelifeplannedforme.

LosLoboswasnotanicegangtobemixedupwith.Theyearntheirlivelihoodoffthepainandsuffering

ofothers.Theyweretheworstkindofcriminals.AndthefactIwasdatingtheirleaderwasnoone’sfault

butmyown.Itwasmyowndeeds,myownmistakes,thatgotmeintothatplace.Anditwouldbemyown

decisionsthatwouldgetmeout.That’swhyIdecidedtodoanythingthatneededtobedonetoescape.

Anything.

SlippingintotheclutchesofLosLoboshadbeensosimple.AndonceIwasin,therewasnowayback

out.I’dseenthewarningsigns.I’drealizedmymistakelongbefore.Wolfcheatedonme,beatme,

routinelydegradedandhumiliatedmeinfrontofhisgangmembers.Herobbedmeofallpower,silenced

myvoice,andwhenhefoundoutIwantedtoleave,hebuiltaconcretecompoundtokeepmeprisoner.

Untilthatnight.ThenightIbrokefree.Icouldn’tchangethepast,butIcouldchangethefuture.

Withinhoursofmakingmydecision,Iwasoutsidethemotel.Ididn’thaveapennytomyname,no

clothes,nobelongings,noplan.ItwasonlyamatteroftimebeforeWolf’shenchmenfoundmeandforced

mebacktothehelloftheirworld.Icouldfeelmychanceatfreedomslippingawaywitheverysecond

thatpassed.

Indesperation,IdecidedtodotheonlythingIcoulddo.Ithrewmyselfatthemercyoffate.Iopened

myself,mademyselfvulnerable,andletGoddecidetheoutcome.

Iaskedforthehelpofastranger.

AllIneededwasonegoodman.Onemanwhowaswillingtostandupforme.Hedidn’thavetofight

Wolf.Hejusthadtohelpmeescape,givemearidetothecity,orbetteryet,theborder.I’dgivehim

everythingheaskedinreturn.Therehadtobeamanwillingtodothat.Andiftherewasn’t,sobeit.Let

medie.AtleastI’ddiefighting.

Anumberofmenwalkedinandoutofthebar.Truckers,pullinginfromthehighwayafteralonghaul,or

workers,lookingforabeerafteralongshift.Otherslookedlikedrifters,gamblers,criminals,ornothing

atall.

Theywereallmen,andIdidn’tknowwhattomakeofthem.Whichofthemwouldhelpme?HowwouldI

choose?

IthoughtI’dknowwhenIsawhim,butIwasbeginningtohavedoubts.Whatiftherewasnoone?

Ihadonlyonethingtooffer.There’sonlyonethingmenwantfromawomaninmyposition.Butwhatif

theydidn’twantme?Whatiftheyrejectedme?

Maybethatwouldbeforthebest.GivingupmybodywentagainsteverythingIbelieved,everythingIheld

sacred.Theonlythingthatmademeevenconsiderit,wasthethoughtofalifeofslaveryatthehandsof

WolfStaten.Ifthepriceoffreedomwasmybody,Iwouldpay.

Andthenhearrived.Herolledintothelotonamotorcycleasifchasedbythedevilhimself.Ionlygota

briefglimpse,butIsawenoughtoknowhewasthemanIwaslookingfor.Muscularbuild,tattoosonhis

armsandchest,ashadowofstubble.Hewasfiercelyhandsome,butthatwasn’tevenoneofmycriteria.I

couldn’taffordtobepicky.ThatwasaluxuryIdidn’thave.WhatIwaslookingforwasarealman.A

manwhowoulddowhatneededtobedone,whateverthatwas.

Thewaythisguywalked,theconfidenceinhisstride,thedeterminationonhisface,toldmeI’dfoundmy

man.

Andtherewassomethingelse.I’dseenhimbefore.Iremembereditinstantly.He’dtauntedme,

challengedme,andtoldmehedidn’tgiveashitaboutWolfStaten.

Now,allIhadtodowasgothroughwithit.

Ihadtoruinmyself,offerupmybody,throwawaymybeliefs,riskmylife.

Noproblem,right?

C H A P T E R 5

J A C K S O N

WhatchancedidIhave?

Mycockragedforherpussy.Shewasanimagefrommyownsecretfantasies.Iwantedtopinchmyself
justtocheckIwasn’tdreaming.Icouldn’thavedesignedabettercreatureformyseduction.

Herblueeyesseemedtodrinkmein.Iachedforher.Thisbeautiful,delicatecreaturewasgoingtobe
mine.Shewasstraightupofferingherself.

Agift.

Iwasgoingtopossessher,bodyandsoul,andfilltheemptinessofmylifewithsomethingbeautiful—
somethingterrible,andtragic,andheavenly.

Sheneededhelp—realhelp.Thekindofhelpthatcouldgetamankilled.Sheneededme.

Buttherewassomethingelse.

Ineededher.Ineededherlikemylifedependedonit.

Littledidsheknow,butIwasgoingtotakemorefromherthansheeverdreamed.Shesaidshe’dgiveme
everything.IfonlysheknewwhatIhadinmind.Whateverpriceshethoughtshewaspaying,shewas
wrong.Shewouldn’tjustbemineforthenight,shewouldbemineforever,inwaysshecouldn’timagine.

“Soyou’verunoutonWolf?”Isaid.

Shenodded.

“It’snotgoingtobeeasytogetawayfromhim.”

“Iknow.”

“TherestofLosLoboswilljointhehunt.”

“WhatchoicedoIhave?”shesaid,heremotionrisingtothesurface.

“Relax.Youdidtherightthing.Youcan’tliveyourlifeunderthethumbofamanlikethat.”

“Ijustcouldn’ttakeitanymore,”shesaid,tearsfillinghereyes.

“It’sallright,”Isaid.“Doyouhaveaplan?”

“Iwasgoingtorunfortheborder.I’llfiguresomethingonceI’macross.”

“Youdon’tknowwhereyou’llgo?”

“Idon’thaveanywhere.”

“Doyouhaveanymoney?”

Sheshookherhead.

“That’saterribleplan,”Isaid.“Youwon’tgetfaratall.He’llfindyou.”

“That’snotyourproblem.Justdrivemetotheborderandforgetallaboutme.You’llhaveeverythingyou
wantfrommebythen.”

“WillI?”

“Youwantwhateverymanwants,right?”

Shepulledherskirtuponherthigh,givingmethetiniestglimpseoftheblacksatinofherpanty.

Shewasatorment.Fuck,mycockwantedthatpussy.Itthrobbedandcrushedagainstmyjeans.Ihadto

adjustmyposition.

Icouldtellthisdidn’tcomenaturallytoher.Shehatedwhatshewasdoing,barteringherpussyforhelp.
Butshewaspayingforfreedom,andIrespectedthat.Theworldwasfullofpeoplewhoacceptedtheir
fatewithoutafight.Shewasn’toneofthem.

“MaybeIwantmorethanthat,”Isaid.

“Whateveryouwant,you’llbedonewithmebythetimewereachtheborder.”

“Idon’tthinkso.”

“Whatareyoutalkingabout?”

“IfyouknewwhatIwantedfromyou,you’drunfrommetoo.”

“Itcan’tbeasbadaswhatWolfwants.”

“You’retellingmeIcanhavewhateverIwant,butthat’sonlybecauseyou’redesperate.Whenitcomes
timetopaytheprice,youmightregretwhatyou’vebartered.”

“Andyou’llmakemepayeverypenny?”

“Whenthedancing’sdone,thefiddleralwaysgetshispay.”

Shestartedtocry.“Look,I’mnotheretobargain.Ineedyourhelp.IfWolffindsme,he’lldestroyme.
Youcaneitherhelpmeoryoucanleavemehereforhim.I’llgiveyouwhateverIhave.Idon’tcarewhat
youwant.Takeitandhelpme,orstopwastingmytime.Iwon’tgobacktoLosLobos.I’lldiefirst.”

Iwassilentforamoment.Ilookedather,tookinthedetails.WhatwasIdoing?I’vetakenalotofthings
frompeopleinmylife,butneversomethinglikethis.Iusuallytakefromthosewhocanaffordtogive,and
Itakemoney,notsomethingpersonal.Notsomethingvital.

ButI’mathiefatheart,abandit,andIwantedthiswoman’sbody,allofit,morethanI’deverwanted
anythingelseintheworld.

“Stopcrying,”Isaid.“I’llgetWolfoffyourback.”

“How?”

“Leavethattome.”

“Andwhatabouthisgang?LosLobosisabrutalpackofkillers.”

“Allmenarebrutalkillers,”Isaid,“orhavethepotentialtobe.”

Shelookedatme.ItwasthefirsttimeshetrulysawmeforwhoIwas.Fearcrossedhereyes.Imeantmy
words.Brutalkiller.Shecouldseeit.

“Whatifyoudie?”shesaid.

Ispreadmyhandsinagestureofhelplessness.“IfIdie,Idie.”

“What’sthatsupposedtomean?”

“Itmeansyou’llhavealreadyfulfilledyourpartofthebargain.Inreturnforthat,I’mwillingtogiveyou
mylife.”

Shenodded.“Andthisarrangement,whatexactlyisit?WhatamIofferinginreturnforyourhelp?You

keepsayingI’llregretit,butyoudon’tsaywhatitis.”

Ididn’tlikeforcingherintothisposition,thishorriblechoice.Shedeservedbetter,butIwastheonlyone
there,theonlyonewhocouldprotecther.Weneededeachother.

“It’severything,”Isaid.“That’sallIcantellyou.”

Shelookedatmeagain,assessingme,tryingtodecidewhatsortofdevilshewasmakingthispactwith.

“Allright,”shesaidatlast.“Let’sdoit.”

“Yousure?”

Shenodded.

Andaseasyasthat,we’dbothgivenourselvesuptofate.I’dtakenonafightIcouldn’twinandinreturn,
withoutevenrealizingit,she’dofferedmethechildIwanted.Iknewjustbylookingather,she’dbea
goodmothertoit.Somethingsyoucantellatasingleglance.

“DoesWolfhaveanyideawhereyouare?”Isaid.

“Idon’tevenknowwhereIam.”

“Allright,”Isaid.“I’mtakingyoutooneoftherooms.”

“Okay,”shesaid.Onelookinhereyestoldmeshemeantit.

Ibeckonedthebartender.

“Yourenttherooms?”

Henodded.

“Weneedone.”

“Sure,”hesaid.“They’refiftyforthehour.Ahundredforthenight.”

Ileftahundred-twentyonthebar,grabbedherhand,andledthewayouttotherain.Wewerebothsoaked
anyway.Ourroomwasacrossthelot.Weran.

C H A P T E R 6

J A C K S O N

Iopenedthedoorandshehurriedinside.Shewasnervous.Shewasn’tusedtothissortofthing.Itonly
mademehotterforher—hertightlittleassinthatwetdress—hersweet,plumpbreasts,burstingagainst
herlow-cutneckline—thedeliciouspussyIknewwaswaitingforme.

Ilookedather.

Therewasawindowbythedoorandshepulledasidethecurtaintopeerout.

“Youlookingforhim?”

Sheshookherhead.

“Hedoesn’tknowwheretofindme.Icouldhavegoneanywhere.”

Ilookedatherbutsaidnothing.Wewereonborrowedtime.Maybeitwouldbeamatterofhours,maybe
days,orweeks,ormonths,butsoonerorlater,LosLoboswouldcatchupwithus,andwhentheydid,it
wouldn’tbepretty.Whenthattimecame,IwouldmakesureIwastherealone.Iwouldmakesureshewas
safe.

Andeventhen,Iknewtherewasmoretothisthanjustourbargain.There’dbeenaconnection,anelectric
sexualtension,betweenussincethemomentwemet.Thesituationshewasin,themonthsthathadpassed
sinceourfirstencounter,didnothingtodampenthat.

HereyesweresobigIcouldhavemeltedinthem.Hermouthwasatoolforseduction.Theimageofher
lipswrappedaroundmythrobbingcockflashedbeforemyeyes.Ithoughtofmysemenpouringintoher
mouthanditmademeshiver.Iwassohungryforherithurt.Eventhemessofhermakeupturnedmeon.It
madethesituationmoreurgent,moredangerous.ItexcitedmeinawayIcan’tdescribe.

“PromisemeI’mgoingtobeallright,”shesaid.

SheknewthatwasmorethanIcouldguarantee,butInodded.

“I’llprotectyou,butyouhavetogiveyourselftomeinreturn,completelyandutterly,”Isaid.“That’smy
price.”

Shesatonthebedandpulledoffherpanties.

“I’myoursnow,”shesaid.

Shelaybackinherwetclothes,adrenchedmess.Mycockwassoharditwasreadytoexplodejust
lookingather.I’dneverseensuchaneroticsightinmylife.Thiswasit.ThiswasthewomanIwasgoing
topossessutterly.Thecertaintyofitoverwhelmedme.

“Yougotaname?”Isaid.

Shedidn’tevenlookatme.Sherolledontoherbelly,turningherbacktome.

Myheartskippedabeat.

Icouldseethebeginningofherass,thewetdresshikedupoverit.

“Openyourlegs,”Isaid.“Slowly.”

Shespreadthemwideopen,exposingherpussylikeapieceofripefruitwaitingtobepicked.

Itookoffmybikeleathers.MywetskinclungtothemandIcouldn’tgetthemofffastenough.

Shespokewithoutfacingme,hervoicefragile.

“Areyougoingtouseacondom?”

Ihadacondominmywallet,Ithoughtaboutitandagreedtoputiton.Therewouldbeplentyoftimelater
forwhatIwantedtodotoher.I’dgivehertimetogetusedtomefirst.

Shepulledherdressuphigher,exposingherentireassandpussy.Herbodytilted,exposingherselfso
seductivelythatadropofpre-cumfellfromthetipofmycock.Nomanalivecouldhaveresistedher.

“It’sokay,”shesaid.“Takewhatyouwant.”

“You’reminenow.”

Hervoicewasalmostawhisper.“Iknow,”shesaid.

Itwasabadidea.Godhelpme.

Thiswasdestiny,givingmealastchancetobethemanIwassupposedtobe.Myfatherhadjustdied.By
protectingthiswoman,Iwouldtakehisplace.

Iopenedmybeltbuckleandletmypantsfalltotheground.Irippedoffmywetshirt.Iwascompletely
naked.Mycockpointedtowardherlikeaviolentweapon.Shewasmyvictim.

Iclimbedontothebedandleaneddown,myfaceclosetoherpussy.Iwantedtosmellher,tasteher,savor
her.IwantedtoknowwhatI’djustpurchased.Iopenedmymouth,putmylipsonherclit,andsucked.

Shereactedpassionately,herbodysquirming.Thesoundofhermoanturnedmybloodtofire.Desire
surgedthroughmycocklikeaninferno.AhungercameovermeI’dneverexperienced.Itwasinsanity.All
Icouldthinkaboutwasfuckingthatpoorgirlsenseless.

Ifthemenchasingherburstthroughthedooratthatmomentandpointedagunatmyback,itwouldn’t
havestoppedme.IwasgoingtofinishwhatI’dstartedevenifitmeantdeath.Islidmytongueinsideher
creviceuntilitfoundtheopening.Thetastewasindescribable,unlikeanythingIeverimagined.

Shemoaned.“Jackson.”

Thewordswerelikeasecretcodethatspoketomycockalone.Itthrobbedwithlonging.IfIdidn’tget
insidehersoon,I’dexplode.

“Takeme,Jackson,”shemoaned.

Iputmyhandsonherwaistandpulledhertowardmycock.Herpussyarchedtowardme.

Iwantedtodrivemyshaftsofarinside,she’dnevereventhinkofanothermanagain.Andthenitstruck
me.Ididn’tknowhername.

Itouchedthesoakingwetlipsofherpussywiththepurpleheadofmyragingcock.

Shesquirmed.

Iputthefirstinchinsideherandpulledback.

“Putitinme,”shemoaned.“Alltheway.Fillme.”

Jesus.Doyouhaveanyideawhatitdidtometohearthosewords?ItwaslikethevoiceofGodtoa
monk.ItwasthesoundI’dbeenwaitingtohearmyentirelife,withoutknowingitexisted.OnlywhenI
hearditdidIrealizewhatitmeanttobeaman.

“Notuntilyoutellmeyourname,”Isaid.

“Mynamedoesn’tmatter.”

Ipushedthebulbousheadofmycockintoherhungrypussy,teasingher,andpulleditback.

“Tellmeyourname,”Isaidagain.

Sheletoutaquietwail.Wasshecrying?Ididn’tknow.Icouldn’tthinkofanythingbuttheforceofthelust
buildinginsideme.

“TellmeyournameorI’llspillmyselfonyourass,”Isaid.

“No,”shecried.“Iwantyouinsideme.”

“Thengivemeyourname.”

Shehesitated.Iranmyshaftthroughtheplump,ripecrackofherass.

“Allright,”shegasped.“Faith.FaithShepherd.”

MycockplungedintoFaithShepherd’spussyanditwentsodeepitscaredbothofus.I’dneverdreamedI
couldpushthatfarinsideawoman.Shereachedbackandgrabbedmywrists,pullingatthem,andIslidto
theverycoreofher.

Thesensationwasexcruciating.Itwaslikedippingmycockintoapoolofliquidpleasure.Herbody
suckedmein,deeperanddeeper,untilIcouldhardlybearit.

Ifeltathrob.Itstartedinmygroinandpulsedtothetipofmycocklikeasonicwave.

“Jesus,”Icried.

Ithappenedagain,onlystronger.

“I’mgoingtocome,”Icried,bitingmylip.Myhandsformedfiststhatclenchedherhipsmercilessly.

Shemoaned.“Doit,Jackson.”

Thefirstpulseoforgasmwaslikethepainofdeath.Myvisionblurred.Mymusclescontracted.The
pleasure,buildinglikesnowonamountainpeak,crashedovertheedgelikeanavalanche.Icriedout,
screaminghername.“Faith.”

Icamesoharditwaslikebeingkickedfrombehindbyawildhorse.MyseedshotintoherwithaforceI
didn’tbelievepossible.Thefirstspurtwasfollowedbyanother,andanother,flingingitselfintothe
condommercilessly,asiftryingtoescapeitandsoakherwithitspotency.Itwasthemostintense,
passionatethingI’deverexperienced.ItwastheorgasmIcompareallothersto.

Itwasastartlingfeeling.

“You’reminenow,”Isaid,andIdon’tknowifitwasmeorsomeforceofnaturespeakingthroughme.“I
claimyou.Youbelongtome,andmealone.”

C H A P T E R 7

F A I T H

Itdidn’tendwithJackson’sorgasm.Thatwasjustthebeginning.Thebeginningofthestoryofmylife.

Idon’tknowwhatpossessedme,butassoonasIapproachedhim,itwaslikeaforceofnaturetookover.
Everythingjusthappened.Hemademefeelvulnerable.Hemademewanttobehis.Iwantedhimto
dominatemeinwaysWolfStatenneverdreamedof.

Iknewthearrangementbetweenuswasbasedonneed.Iwasofferingmyselfsohewouldprotectme.I
washiswhore.

Buteventhen,Ifelttherewasmoretoit.I’dhavelethimfuckmeevenifIdidn’tneedhisprotection.And

maybeIwasfoolingmyself,butIsensedhewouldhaveofferedmehisprotectionevenifIhadn’tgiven
himmybody.

Hehadapoweroverme.Itwasstrange,butIwantedtobelongtohimsocompletelynoothermanwould
evertakemefromhim.Itwasananimalattractionthatdefiedlogic.

IwasgladIhadmybacktohimwhenhetookme.Andfuck,didhetakeme.Hetookmelikeawild,
stampedinghorse.Ididn’twanthimtoseemyface.Ididn’twanthimtoknowwhoIwas.Iwantedto
hide.Iwasafraidhe’dseethetruth.

ThetruththatIwantedhimaspassionatelyashewantedme.Thetruththatthemorehetook,themorehe
claimed,thedeeperIbelongedtohim.

I’dwantedJacksonsincethesecondhewalkedintotheLosLobosbar.NowthatIwasfinallyhis,itfelt
likeGodhadansweredmyprayers.WhetherornotwegotawayfromLosLobosdidn’tmatter.Theonly
thingIcaredaboutwasthatIwashis.

HethrusthimselfsoforcefullyintomeIthoughthe’dtearmeapart,andIlikedit.Iwantedhimtofuckme
harder.

Themomentofhisorgasmwascosmic.Itwaslikethosedocumentariesthatshowtheuniversebeing
formed,thebigbang,theexplosionthatcreatedeverything.That’swhatJackson’sorgasmwasforme.

Iswear,Ifelthiscockexplodeinaspasmofecstasy.Ifeltitfillthecondomwithaterrifyingforce.It
mademewanttocry.Iwantedthecondomtoburst.Iwantedhissemeninsideme.

Andthen,afterhecame,heflippedmeoversoIfacedhim.Hewasstillhungryforme.Icouldfeelthe
throbbinggirthofhisshaftagainstmythigh.

“Whateveryouwant,”Isaid.“Dowhateveryouwanttome.I’myoursnow,Jackson.”

Heleanedoverandlookeddeeplyintomyeyes.God,hewashandsome.Hehadthechiseledfaceofa
classicalstatue.Lovehadneverbeenpartofmyplan,butsuddenly,Iwantedhimtokissme.Hepulled
offmydressandbra.Iwasnakedbeforehiseyes,mybodyliterallyvibratingwithanticipation.

Itiltedmyheadbackandopenedmymouth,actingonrawinstinct.

Hemetmylipsandslidhisdelicioustongueintomymouth.Imoanedinpleasure.Tothisday,I’venever
kissedanothermanthewayhekissedmethatnight.Hebroughtchillstomyskin.

Hislipsmovedovermyneck,caressingme,slidingovermyripenipples.

“YourbodyislikesomethingIdreamt,”hewhispered,thenheclosedhislipsonmynippleandsucked.

Iarchedmyback.

Hismouthkeptgoingdown,overmynavel,myhips,andfinallytothetender,pinkfoldsofmyclit.

Whenhesucked,somethingwithinmeresponded.Hewasmymaster.Hehadcompletepossessionofme.
Oneflickofhistongue,oneglanceofhispiercingeyes,andthepleasuredeepinsidemefoughtfor
release.

Icriedout,“Jackson.”

We’dscarcelyspentanhourwitheachother,butalreadyIfeltlikehe’dknownmemyentirelife.

“Suckme,”Imoaned,andevenasIsaidit,Ifeltterrifiedhe’dtastehimselfonmypussy.

Hismouthsuckedmyclitandthesensationwasoverwhelming.Tendrilsofpleasureshotintomybody.I
wasgoingtoclimax,rightthere,hisfacesodeepinmypussytherewasnowheretohide.

Ithrewmylegsaroundhisheadandclenched.Hesucked,histongueflickingmyclitceaselessly,his
handsgrippingmyass,holdingmeinplace.Icouldn’tbearit.

Iconvulsed,theshockoforgasmhittingmelikeafreighttrain.Iscreamed.Thepleasurerushedthrough
melikeaNevadaflash-flood.

“Jackson,”Iscreamedastheorgasmwashedoverme,wavesofpleasureIfeltwouldneverend.

AndIknewit.IknewI’dsignedapactwiththedevil.

Therewouldbenobackingout,noescape.Mybodyknewit.Myheartknewit.Mysoulknewit.I
belongedtoJacksonJones.Theonlyquestion,waswhatwashegoingtodowithme.

BadBoyDaddy