Reasons Why It's Better To Be female * We got off the Titanic first. * We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder excuses. * We never ejaculate prematurely. * We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers. * We absently hum tunes from musicals without anyone being suspect of our sexuality. * When we buy a vibrator it is glamorous. When men buy a blow up doll it's pathetic. * We don't have to get our strength up between sessions...and it's much easier for us to get "some" in the first place. * We can get off with teenagers without being called dirty oldperverts. * Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin and gorgeous - guys look like complete idiots in ours. * We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers. * We can cry and get off speeding fines. * We live longer, so we can be cantankerous old biddies wearing inappropriate clothes and shouting at strangers...... * Men die earlier so we get to cash in on the life insurance. * Taxis stop for us. * We've never fancied a cartoon character or the central figure in a computer game. * We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing. A Few Chick Jokes CONTROL OVER WIVES There are three guys in a bar. Two are talking about the amount of control they have over their wives. The third remains silent. After awhile one of the first two turns to the third and says, "Well what about you, what sort of control do you have over your wife?" "Well, just the other night my wife came to me on her hands and knees." His friends were amazed! "What happened then?" "Well, then she said, 'GET OUT FROM UNDER THE BED AND FIGHT LIKE A MAN!'" KNOWLEDGE Once a man found a genie and wished to be the smartest person in the world. So the genie turned him into a woman. STUPIDER THAN A BLONDE? One day, three blonde stumbled upon a lamp. They picked it up and decided it would make a nice centerpeice for their dining room table. The first blonde took out a handkercheif to wipe the sand off and genie came out. The genie told the three that they could each have a wish. They were a little scared but figured what the hell? So the first blonde says. "Ya know what? I've been a blonde all my life and I'm tired of being stupid. I wish I was 10 times smarter." The genie made her 10 times smarter. The second blonde said, "I'm also tired of being made fun of for being dumb. I wish I was 20 times smarter." The genie makes her 20 times smarter. Then the third blonde says "I've also been dumb all my life, but I like being dumb and helpless. I wish I was more dumb than I already am." So the genie turns her into a man. WE SHOULD HAVE KNOWN According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year (which are the only members of the deer family, Cervidae, to have females do so), Male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December. Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring. Therefore, according to every historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, every single one of them, from Rudolf to Blitzen........had to be a female. We should have known this when they were able to find their way.